SCENE I. A field near Frogmore. The Merry Wives of Windsor  Shakespeare homepage  |  Merry Wives of Windsor  | Act 3, Scene 1 

 Previous scene  |  Next scene  SCENE I. A field near Frogmore. 

 Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE  SIR HUGH EVANS  I pray you now, good master Slender's serving-man, 

 and friend Simple by your name, which way have you 

 looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic? 

 SIMPLE  Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every 

 way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town 

 way. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  I most fehemently desire you you will also look that 

 way. 

 SIMPLE  I will, sir. 



 Exit  SIR HUGH EVANS  'Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and 

 trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have 

 deceived me. How melancholies I am! I will knog 

 his urinals about his knave's costard when I have 

 good opportunities for the ork. 'Pless my soul! 



 Sings  To shallow rivers, to whose falls 

 Melodious birds sings madrigals; 

 There will we make our peds of roses, 

 And a thousand fragrant posies. 

 To shallow-- 

 Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. 



 Sings  Melodious birds sing madrigals-- 

 When as I sat in Pabylon-- 

 And a thousand vagram posies. 

 To shallow  & c. 



 Re-enter SIMPLE  SIMPLE  Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  He's welcome. 



 Sings  To shallow rivers, to whose falls- 

 Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he? 

 SIMPLE  No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master 

 Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over 

 the stile, this way. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. 



 Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER  SHALLOW  How now, master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. 

 Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student 

 from his book, and it is wonderful. 

 SLENDER  [Aside]  Ah, sweet Anne Page! 

 PAGE  'Save you, good Sir Hugh! 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! 

 SHALLOW  What, the sword and the word! do you study them 

 both, master parson? 

 PAGE  And youthful still! in your doublet and hose this 

 raw rheumatic day! 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  There is reasons and causes for it. 

 PAGE  We are come to you to do a good office, master parson. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  Fery well: what is it? 

 PAGE  Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike 

 having received wrong by some person, is at most 

 odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you 

 saw. 

 SHALLOW  I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never 

 heard a man of his place, gravity and learning, so 

 wide of his own respect. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  What is he? 

 PAGE  I think you know him; Master Doctor Caius, the 

 renowned French physician. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as 

 lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge. 

 PAGE  Why? 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen, 

 --and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave as you 

 would desires to be acquainted withal. 

 PAGE  I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him. 

 SHALLOW  [Aside]  O sweet Anne Page! 

 SHALLOW  It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder: 

 here comes Doctor Caius. 



 Enter Host, DOCTOR CAIUS, and RUGBY  PAGE  Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon. 

 SHALLOW  So do you, good master doctor. 

 Host  Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep 

 their limbs whole and hack our English. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. 

 Vherefore vill you not meet-a me? 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  [Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS]  Pray you, use your patience: 

 in good time. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  [Aside to DOCTOR CAIUS]  Pray you let us not be 

 laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you 

 in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. 



 Aloud  I will knog your urinals about your knave's cockscomb 

 for missing your meetings and appointments. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Diable! Jack Rugby,--mine host de Jarteer,--have I 

 not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place 

 I did appoint? 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  As I am a Christians soul now, look you, this is the 

 place appointed: I'll be judgement by mine host of 

 the Garter. 

 Host  Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, 

 soul-curer and body-curer! 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Ay, dat is very good; excellent. 

 Host  Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I 

 politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I 

 lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the 

 motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir 

 Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the 

 no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so. Give me 

 thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have 

 deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong 

 places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are 

 whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay 

 their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace; 

 follow, follow, follow. 

 SHALLOW  Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow. 

 SLENDER  [Aside]  O sweet Anne Page! 



 Exeunt SHALLOW, SLENDER, PAGE, and Host  DOCTOR CAIUS  Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of 

 us, ha, ha? 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I 

 desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog 

 our prains together to be revenge on this same 

 scall, scurvy cogging companion, the host of the Garter. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me 

 where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too. 

 SIR HUGH EVANS  Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you, follow. 



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