SCENE III. A field near Windsor. The Merry Wives of Windsor  Shakespeare homepage  |  Merry Wives of Windsor  | Act 2, Scene 3 

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 Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY  DOCTOR CAIUS  Jack Rugby! 

 RUGBY  Sir? 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Vat is de clock, Jack? 

 RUGBY  'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he 

 has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, 

 Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. 

 RUGBY  He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill 

 him, if he came. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. 

 Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him. 

 RUGBY  Alas, sir, I cannot fence. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Villany, take your rapier. 

 RUGBY  Forbear; here's company. 



 Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE  Host  Bless thee, bully doctor! 

 SHALLOW  Save you, Master Doctor Caius! 

 PAGE  Now, good master doctor! 

 SLENDER  Give you good morrow, sir. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? 

 Host  To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee 

 traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to 

 see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy 

 distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is 

 he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my 

 AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is 

 he dead, bully stale? is he dead? 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he 

 is not show his face. 

 Host  Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy! 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or 

 seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. 

 SHALLOW  He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of 

 souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should 

 fight, you go against the hair of your professions. 

 Is it not true, Master Page? 

 PAGE  Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great 

 fighter, though now a man of peace. 

 SHALLOW  Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of 

 the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to 

 make one. Though we are justices and doctors and 

 churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our 

 youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page. 

 PAGE  'Tis true, Master Shallow. 

 SHALLOW  It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor 

 Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of 

 the peace: you have showed yourself a wise 

 physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise 

 and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor. 

 Host  Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Mock-vater! vat is dat? 

 Host  Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de 

 Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me 

 vill cut his ears. 

 Host  He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat? 

 Host  That is, he will make thee amends. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; 

 for, by gar, me vill have it. 

 Host  And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Me tank you for dat. 

 Host  And, moreover, bully,--but first, master guest, and 

 Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you 

 through the town to Frogmore. 



 Aside to them  PAGE  Sir Hugh is there, is he? 

 Host  He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will 

 bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well? 

 SHALLOW  We will do it. 

 PAGE  SHALLOW  SLENDER  Adieu, good master doctor. 



 Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER  DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a 

 jack-an-ape to Anne Page. 

 Host  Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold 

 water on thy choler: go about the fields with me 

 through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress 

 Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou 

 shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well? 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you; 

 and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, 

 de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients. 

 Host  For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne 

 Page. Said I well? 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  By gar, 'tis good; vell said. 

 Host  Let us wag, then. 

 DOCTOR CAIUS  Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. 



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