SCENE III. Paris. The KING's palace. All's Well That Ends Well  Shakespeare homepage  |  All's Well That Ends Well  | Act 2, Scene 3 

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 Enter BERTRAM, LAFEU, and PAROLLES  LAFEU  They say miracles are past; and we have our 

 philosophical persons, to make modern and familiar, 

 things supernatural and causeless. Hence is it that 

 we make trifles of terrors, ensconcing ourselves 

 into seeming knowledge, when we should submit 

 ourselves to an unknown fear. 

 PAROLLES  Why, 'tis the rarest argument of wonder that hath 

 shot out in our latter times. 

 BERTRAM  And so 'tis. 

 LAFEU  To be relinquish'd of the artists,-- 

 PAROLLES  So I say. 

 LAFEU  Both of Galen and Paracelsus. 

 PAROLLES  So I say. 

 LAFEU  Of all the learned and authentic fellows,-- 

 PAROLLES  Right; so I say. 

 LAFEU  That gave him out incurable,-- 

 PAROLLES  Why, there 'tis; so say I too. 

 LAFEU  Not to be helped,-- 

 PAROLLES  Right; as 'twere, a man assured of a-- 

 LAFEU  Uncertain life, and sure death. 

 PAROLLES  Just, you say well; so would I have said. 

 LAFEU  I may truly say, it is a novelty to the world. 

 PAROLLES  It is, indeed: if you will have it in showing, you 

 shall read it in--what do you call there? 

 LAFEU  A showing of a heavenly effect in an earthly actor. 

 PAROLLES  That's it; I would have said the very same. 

 LAFEU  Why, your dolphin is not lustier: 'fore me, 

 I speak in respect-- 

 PAROLLES  Nay, 'tis strange, 'tis very strange, that is the 

 brief and the tedious of it; and he's of a most 

 facinerious spirit that will not acknowledge it to be the-- 

 LAFEU  Very hand of heaven. 

 PAROLLES  Ay, so I say. 

 LAFEU  In a most weak-- 



 pausing  and debile minister, great power, great 

 transcendence: which should, indeed, give us a 

 further use to be made than alone the recovery of 

 the king, as to be-- 



 pausing  generally thankful. 

 PAROLLES  I would have said it; you say well. Here comes the king. 



 Enter KING, HELENA, and Attendants. LAFEU and PAROLLES retire  LAFEU  Lustig, as the Dutchman says: I'll like a maid the 

 better, whilst I have a tooth in my head: why, he's 

 able to lead her a coranto. 

 PAROLLES  Mort du vinaigre! is not this Helen? 

 LAFEU  'Fore God, I think so. 

 KING  Go, call before me all the lords in court. 

 Sit, my preserver, by thy patient's side; 

 And with this healthful hand, whose banish'd sense 

 Thou hast repeal'd, a second time receive 

 The confirmation of my promised gift, 

 Which but attends thy naming. 



 Enter three or four Lords  Fair maid, send forth thine eye: this youthful parcel 

 Of noble bachelors stand at my bestowing, 

 O'er whom both sovereign power and father's voice 

 I have to use: thy frank election make; 

 Thou hast power to choose, and they none to forsake. 

 HELENA  To each of you one fair and virtuous mistress 

 Fall, when Love please! marry, to each, but one! 

 LAFEU  I'ld give bay Curtal and his furniture, 

 My mouth no more were broken than these boys', 

 And writ as little beard. 

 KING  Peruse them well: 

 Not one of those but had a noble father. 

 HELENA  Gentlemen, 

 Heaven hath through me restored the king to health. 

 All  We understand it, and thank heaven for you. 

 HELENA  I am a simple maid, and therein wealthiest, 

 That I protest I simply am a maid. 

 Please it your majesty, I have done already: 

 The blushes in my cheeks thus whisper me, 

 'We blush that thou shouldst choose; but, be refused, 

 Let the white death sit on thy cheek for ever; 

 We'll ne'er come there again.' 

 KING  Make choice; and, see, 

 Who shuns thy love shuns all his love in me. 

 HELENA  Now, Dian, from thy altar do I fly, 

 And to imperial Love, that god most high, 

 Do my sighs stream. Sir, will you hear my suit? 

 First Lord  And grant it. 

 HELENA  Thanks, sir; all the rest is mute. 

 LAFEU  I had rather be in this choice than throw ames-ace 

 for my life. 

 HELENA  The honour, sir, that flames in your fair eyes, 

 Before I speak, too threateningly replies: 

 Love make your fortunes twenty times above 

 Her that so wishes and her humble love! 

 Second Lord  No better, if you please. 

 HELENA  My wish receive, 

 Which great Love grant! and so, I take my leave. 

 LAFEU  Do all they deny her? An they were sons of mine, 

 I'd have them whipped; or I would send them to the 

 Turk, to make eunuchs of. 

 HELENA  Be not afraid that I your hand should take; 

 I'll never do you wrong for your own sake: 

 Blessing upon your vows! and in your bed 

 Find fairer fortune, if you ever wed! 

 LAFEU  These boys are boys of ice, they'll none have her: 

 sure, they are bastards to the English; the French 

 ne'er got 'em. 

 HELENA  You are too young, too happy, and too good, 

 To make yourself a son out of my blood. 

 Fourth Lord  Fair one, I think not so. 

 LAFEU  There's one grape yet; I am sure thy father drunk 

 wine: but if thou be'st not an ass, I am a youth 

 of fourteen; I have known thee already. 

 HELENA  [To BERTRAM]  I dare not say I take you; but I give 

 Me and my service, ever whilst I live, 

 Into your guiding power. This is the man. 

 KING  Why, then, young Bertram, take her; she's thy wife. 

 BERTRAM  My wife, my liege! I shall beseech your highness, 

 In such a business give me leave to use 

 The help of mine own eyes. 

 KING  Know'st thou not, Bertram, 

 What she has done for me? 

 BERTRAM  Yes, my good lord; 

 But never hope to know why I should marry her. 

 KING  Thou know'st she has raised me from my sickly bed. 

 BERTRAM  But follows it, my lord, to bring me down 

 Must answer for your raising? I know her well: 

 She had her breeding at my father's charge. 

 A poor physician's daughter my wife! Disdain 

 Rather corrupt me ever! 

 KING  'Tis only title thou disdain'st in her, the which 

 I can build up. Strange is it that our bloods, 

 Of colour, weight, and heat, pour'd all together, 

 Would quite confound distinction, yet stand off 

 In differences so mighty. If she be 

 All that is virtuous, save what thou dislikest, 

 A poor physician's daughter, thou dislikest 

 Of virtue for the name: but do not so: 

 From lowest place when virtuous things proceed, 

 The place is dignified by the doer's deed: 

 Where great additions swell's, and virtue none, 

 It is a dropsied honour. Good alone 

 Is good without a name. Vileness is so: 

 The property by what it is should go, 

 Not by the title. She is young, wise, fair; 

 In these to nature she's immediate heir, 

 And these breed honour: that is honour's scorn, 

 Which challenges itself as honour's born 

 And is not like the sire: honours thrive, 

 When rather from our acts we them derive 

 Than our foregoers: the mere word's a slave 

 Debosh'd on every tomb, on every grave 

 A lying trophy, and as oft is dumb 

 Where dust and damn'd oblivion is the tomb 

 Of honour'd bones indeed. What should be said? 

 If thou canst like this creature as a maid, 

 I can create the rest: virtue and she 

 Is her own dower; honour and wealth from me. 

 BERTRAM  I cannot love her, nor will strive to do't. 

 KING  Thou wrong'st thyself, if thou shouldst strive to choose. 

 HELENA  That you are well restored, my lord, I'm glad: 

 Let the rest go. 

 KING  My honour's at the stake; which to defeat, 

 I must produce my power. Here, take her hand, 

 Proud scornful boy, unworthy this good gift; 

 That dost in vile misprision shackle up 

 My love and her desert; that canst not dream, 

 We, poising us in her defective scale, 

 Shall weigh thee to the beam; that wilt not know, 

 It is in us to plant thine honour where 

 We please to have it grow. Cheque thy contempt: 

 Obey our will, which travails in thy good: 

 Believe not thy disdain, but presently 

 Do thine own fortunes that obedient right 

 Which both thy duty owes and our power claims; 

 Or I will throw thee from my care for ever 

 Into the staggers and the careless lapse 

 Of youth and ignorance; both my revenge and hate 

 Loosing upon thee, in the name of justice, 

 Without all terms of pity. Speak; thine answer. 

 BERTRAM  Pardon, my gracious lord; for I submit 

 My fancy to your eyes: when I consider 

 What great creation and what dole of honour 

 Flies where you bid it, I find that she, which late 

 Was in my nobler thoughts most base, is now 

 The praised of the king; who, so ennobled, 

 Is as 'twere born so. 

 KING  Take her by the hand, 

 And tell her she is thine: to whom I promise 

 A counterpoise, if not to thy estate 

 A balance more replete. 

 BERTRAM  I take her hand. 

 KING  Good fortune and the favour of the king 

 Smile upon this contract; whose ceremony 

 Shall seem expedient on the now-born brief, 

 And be perform'd to-night: the solemn feast 

 Shall more attend upon the coming space, 

 Expecting absent friends. As thou lovest her, 

 Thy love's to me religious; else, does err. 



 Exeunt all but LAFEU and PAROLLES  LAFEU  [Advancing]  Do you hear, monsieur? a word with you. 

 PAROLLES  Your pleasure, sir? 

 LAFEU  Your lord and master did well to make his 

 recantation. 

 PAROLLES  Recantation! My lord! my master! 

 LAFEU  Ay; is it not a language I speak? 

 PAROLLES  A most harsh one, and not to be understood without 

 bloody succeeding. My master! 

 LAFEU  Are you companion to the Count Rousillon? 

 PAROLLES  To any count, to all counts, to what is man. 

 LAFEU  To what is count's man: count's master is of 

 another style. 

 PAROLLES  You are too old, sir; let it satisfy you, you are too old. 

 LAFEU  I must tell thee, sirrah, I write man; to which 

 title age cannot bring thee. 

 PAROLLES  What I dare too well do, I dare not do. 

 LAFEU  I did think thee, for two ordinaries, to be a pretty 

 wise fellow; thou didst make tolerable vent of thy 

 travel; it might pass: yet the scarfs and the 

 bannerets about thee did manifoldly dissuade me from 

 believing thee a vessel of too great a burthen. I 

 have now found thee; when I lose thee again, I care 

 not: yet art thou good for nothing but taking up; and 

 that thou't scarce worth. 

 PAROLLES  Hadst thou not the privilege of antiquity upon thee,-- 

 LAFEU  Do not plunge thyself too far in anger, lest thou 

 hasten thy trial; which if--Lord have mercy on thee 

 for a hen! So, my good window of lattice, fare thee 

 well: thy casement I need not open, for I look 

 through thee. Give me thy hand. 

 PAROLLES  My lord, you give me most egregious indignity. 

 LAFEU  Ay, with all my heart; and thou art worthy of it. 

 PAROLLES  I have not, my lord, deserved it. 

 LAFEU  Yes, good faith, every dram of it; and I will not 

 bate thee a scruple. 

 PAROLLES  Well, I shall be wiser. 

 LAFEU  Even as soon as thou canst, for thou hast to pull at 

 a smack o' the contrary. If ever thou be'st bound 

 in thy scarf and beaten, thou shalt find what it is 

 to be proud of thy bondage. I have a desire to hold 

 my acquaintance with thee, or rather my knowledge, 

 that I may say in the default, he is a man I know. 

 PAROLLES  My lord, you do me most insupportable vexation. 

 LAFEU  I would it were hell-pains for thy sake, and my poor 

 doing eternal: for doing I am past: as I will by 

 thee, in what motion age will give me leave. 



 Exit  PAROLLES  Well, thou hast a son shall take this disgrace off 

 me; scurvy, old, filthy, scurvy lord! Well, I must 

 be patient; there is no fettering of authority. 

 I'll beat him, by my life, if I can meet him with 

 any convenience, an he were double and double a 

 lord. I'll have no more pity of his age than I 

 would of--I'll beat him, an if I could but meet him again. 



 Re-enter LAFEU  LAFEU  Sirrah, your lord and master's married; there's news 

 for you: you have a new mistress. 

 PAROLLES  I most unfeignedly beseech your lordship to make 

 some reservation of your wrongs: he is my good 

 lord: whom I serve above is my master. 

 LAFEU  Who? God? 

 PAROLLES  Ay, sir. 

 LAFEU  The devil it is that's thy master. Why dost thou 

 garter up thy arms o' this fashion? dost make hose of 

 sleeves? do other servants so? Thou wert best set 

 thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine 

 honour, if I were but two hours younger, I'ld beat 

 thee: methinks, thou art a general offence, and 

 every man should beat thee: I think thou wast 

 created for men to breathe themselves upon thee. 

 PAROLLES  This is hard and undeserved measure, my lord. 

 LAFEU  Go to, sir; you were beaten in Italy for picking a 

 kernel out of a pomegranate; you are a vagabond and 

 no true traveller: you are more saucy with lords 

 and honourable personages than the commission of your 

 birth and virtue gives you heraldry. You are not 

 worth another word, else I'ld call you knave. I leave you. 



 Exit  PAROLLES  Good, very good; it is so then: good, very good; 

 let it be concealed awhile. 



 Re-enter BERTRAM  BERTRAM  Undone, and forfeited to cares for ever! 

 PAROLLES  What's the matter, sweet-heart? 

 BERTRAM  Although before the solemn priest I have sworn, 

 I will not bed her. 

 PAROLLES  What, what, sweet-heart? 

 BERTRAM  O my Parolles, they have married me! 

 I'll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her. 

 PAROLLES  France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits 

 The tread of a man's foot: to the wars! 

 BERTRAM  There's letters from my mother: what the import is, 

 I know not yet. 

 PAROLLES  Ay, that would be known. To the wars, my boy, to the wars! 

 He wears his honour in a box unseen, 

 That hugs his kicky-wicky here at home, 

 Spending his manly marrow in her arms, 

 Which should sustain the bound and high curvet 

 Of Mars's fiery steed. To other regions 

 France is a stable; we that dwell in't jades; 

 Therefore, to the war! 

 BERTRAM  It shall be so: I'll send her to my house, 

 Acquaint my mother with my hate to her, 

 And wherefore I am fled; write to the king 

 That which I durst not speak; his present gift 

 Shall furnish me to those Italian fields, 

 Where noble fellows strike: war is no strife 

 To the dark house and the detested wife. 

 PAROLLES  Will this capriccio hold in thee? art sure? 

 BERTRAM  Go with me to my chamber, and advise me. 

 I'll send her straight away: to-morrow 

 I'll to the wars, she to her single sorrow. 

 PAROLLES  Why, these balls bound; there's noise in it. 'Tis hard: 

 A young man married is a man that's marr'd: 

 Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go: 

 The king has done you wrong: but, hush, 'tis so. 



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