SCENE II. The same. Loves Labours Lost  Shakespeare homepage  |  Love's Labour's Lost  | Act 5, Scene 2 

 Previous scene  SCENE II. The same. 

 Enter the PRINCESS, KATHARINE, ROSALINE, and MARIA  PRINCESS  Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart, 

 If fairings come thus plentifully in: 

 A lady wall'd about with diamonds! 

 Look you what I have from the loving king. 

 ROSALINE  Madame, came nothing else along with that? 

 PRINCESS  Nothing but this! yes, as much love in rhyme 

 As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper, 

 Writ o' both sides the leaf, margent and all, 

 That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name. 

 ROSALINE  That was the way to make his godhead wax, 

 For he hath been five thousand years a boy. 

 KATHARINE  Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too. 

 ROSALINE  You'll ne'er be friends with him; a' kill'd your sister. 

 KATHARINE  He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy; 

 And so she died: had she been light, like you, 

 Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit, 

 She might ha' been a grandam ere she died: 

 And so may you; for a light heart lives long. 

 ROSALINE  What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word? 

 KATHARINE  A light condition in a beauty dark. 

 ROSALINE  We need more light to find your meaning out. 

 KATHARINE  You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff; 

 Therefore I'll darkly end the argument. 

 ROSALINE  Look what you do, you do it still i' the dark. 

 KATHARINE  So do not you, for you are a light wench. 

 ROSALINE  Indeed I weigh not you, and therefore light. 

 KATHARINE  You weigh me not? O, that's you care not for me. 

 ROSALINE  Great reason; for 'past cure is still past care.' 

 PRINCESS  Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd. 

 But Rosaline, you have a favour too: 

 Who sent it? and what is it? 

 ROSALINE  I would you knew: 

 An if my face were but as fair as yours, 

 My favour were as great; be witness this. 

 Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron: 

 The numbers true; and, were the numbering too, 

 I were the fairest goddess on the ground: 

 I am compared to twenty thousand fairs. 

 O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter! 

 PRINCESS  Any thing like? 

 ROSALINE  Much in the letters; nothing in the praise. 

 PRINCESS  Beauteous as ink; a good conclusion. 

 KATHARINE  Fair as a text B in a copy-book. 

 ROSALINE  'Ware pencils, ho! let me not die your debtor, 

 My red dominical, my golden letter: 

 O, that your face were not so full of O's! 

 KATHARINE  A pox of that jest! and I beshrew all shrows. 

 PRINCESS  But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumain? 

 KATHARINE  Madam, this glove. 

 PRINCESS  Did he not send you twain? 

 KATHARINE  Yes, madam, and moreover 

 Some thousand verses of a faithful lover, 

 A huge translation of hypocrisy, 

 Vilely compiled, profound simplicity. 

 MARIA  This and these pearls to me sent Longaville: 

 The letter is too long by half a mile. 

 PRINCESS  I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart 

 The chain were longer and the letter short? 

 MARIA  Ay, or I would these hands might never part. 

 PRINCESS  We are wise girls to mock our lovers so. 

 ROSALINE  They are worse fools to purchase mocking so. 

 That same Biron I'll torture ere I go: 

 O that I knew he were but in by the week! 

 How I would make him fawn and beg and seek 

 And wait the season and observe the times 

 And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes 

 And shape his service wholly to my hests 

 And make him proud to make me proud that jests! 

 So perttaunt-like would I o'ersway his state 

 That he should be my fool and I his fate. 

 PRINCESS  None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd, 

 As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd, 

 Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school 

 And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool. 

 ROSALINE  The blood of youth burns not with such excess 

 As gravity's revolt to wantonness. 

 MARIA  Folly in fools bears not so strong a note 

 As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote; 

 Since all the power thereof it doth apply 

 To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity. 

 PRINCESS  Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face. 



 Enter BOYET  BOYET  O, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace? 

 PRINCESS  Thy news Boyet? 

 BOYET  Prepare, madam, prepare! 

 Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are 

 Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised, 

 Armed in arguments; you'll be surprised: 

 Muster your wits; stand in your own defence; 

 Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence. 

 PRINCESS  Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they 

 That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say. 

 BOYET  Under the cool shade of a sycamore 

 I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour; 

 When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest, 

 Toward that shade I might behold addrest 

 The king and his companions: warily 

 I stole into a neighbour thicket by, 

 And overheard what you shall overhear, 

 That, by and by, disguised they will be here. 

 Their herald is a pretty knavish page, 

 That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage: 

 Action and accent did they teach him there; 

 'Thus must thou speak,' and 'thus thy body bear:' 

 And ever and anon they made a doubt 

 Presence majestical would put him out, 

 'For,' quoth the king, 'an angel shalt thou see; 

 Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.' 

 The boy replied, 'An angel is not evil; 

 I should have fear'd her had she been a devil.' 

 With that, all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the shoulder, 

 Making the bold wag by their praises bolder: 

 One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and swore 

 A better speech was never spoke before; 

 Another, with his finger and his thumb, 

 Cried, 'Via! we will do't, come what will come;' 

 The third he caper'd, and cried, 'All goes well;' 

 The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell. 

 With that, they all did tumble on the ground, 

 With such a zealous laughter, so profound, 

 That in this spleen ridiculous appears, 

 To cheque their folly, passion's solemn tears. 

 PRINCESS  But what, but what, come they to visit us? 

 BOYET  They do, they do: and are apparell'd thus. 

 Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess. 

 Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance; 

 And every one his love-feat will advance 

 Unto his several mistress, which they'll know 

 By favours several which they did bestow. 

 PRINCESS  And will they so? the gallants shall be task'd; 

 For, ladies, we shall every one be mask'd; 

 And not a man of them shall have the grace, 

 Despite of suit, to see a lady's face. 

 Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear, 

 And then the king will court thee for his dear; 

 Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine, 

 So shall Biron take me for Rosaline. 

 And change your favours too; so shall your loves 

 Woo contrary, deceived by these removes. 

 ROSALINE  Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight. 

 KATHARINE  But in this changing what is your intent? 

 PRINCESS  The effect of my intent is to cross theirs: 

 They do it but in mocking merriment; 

 And mock for mock is only my intent. 

 Their several counsels they unbosom shall 

 To loves mistook, and so be mock'd withal 

 Upon the next occasion that we meet, 

 With visages displayed, to talk and greet. 

 ROSALINE  But shall we dance, if they desire to't? 

 PRINCESS  No, to the death, we will not move a foot; 

 Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace, 

 But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face. 

 BOYET  Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart, 

 And quite divorce his memory from his part. 

 PRINCESS  Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt 

 The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out 

 There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown, 

 To make theirs ours and ours none but our own: 

 So shall we stay, mocking intended game, 

 And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame. 



 Trumpets sound within  BOYET  The trumpet sounds: be mask'd; the maskers come. 



 The Ladies mask 

 Enter Blackamoors with music; MOTH; FERDINAND,  BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits, and masked  MOTH  All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!-- 

 BOYET  Beauties no richer than rich taffeta. 

 MOTH  A holy parcel of the fairest dames. 



 The Ladies turn their backs to him  That ever turn'd their--backs--to mortal views! 

 BIRON  [Aside to MOTH]  Their eyes, villain, their eyes! 

 MOTH  That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views!--Out-- 

 BOYET  True; out indeed. 

 MOTH  Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe 

 Not to behold-- 

 BIRON  [Aside to MOTH]  Once to behold, rogue. 

 MOTH  Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes, 

 --with your sun-beamed eyes-- 

 BOYET  They will not answer to that epithet; 

 You were best call it 'daughter-beamed eyes.' 

 MOTH  They do not mark me, and that brings me out. 

 BIRON  Is this your perfectness? be gone, you rogue! 



 Exit MOTH  ROSALINE  What would these strangers? know their minds, Boyet: 

 If they do speak our language, 'tis our will: 

 That some plain man recount their purposes 

 Know what they would. 

 BOYET  What would you with the princess? 

 BIRON  Nothing but peace and gentle visitation. 

 ROSALINE  What would they, say they? 

 BOYET  Nothing but peace and gentle visitation. 

 ROSALINE  Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone. 

 BOYET  She says, you have it, and you may be gone. 

 FERDINAND  Say to her, we have measured many miles 

 To tread a measure with her on this grass. 

 BOYET  They say, that they have measured many a mile 

 To tread a measure with you on this grass. 

 ROSALINE  It is not so. Ask them how many inches 

 Is in one mile: if they have measured many, 

 The measure then of one is easily told. 

 BOYET  If to come hither you have measured miles, 

 And many miles, the princess bids you tell 

 How many inches doth fill up one mile. 

 BIRON  Tell her, we measure them by weary steps. 

 BOYET  She hears herself. 

 ROSALINE  How many weary steps, 

 Of many weary miles you have o'ergone, 

 Are number'd in the travel of one mile? 

 BIRON  We number nothing that we spend for you: 

 Our duty is so rich, so infinite, 

 That we may do it still without accompt. 

 Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face, 

 That we, like savages, may worship it. 

 ROSALINE  My face is but a moon, and clouded too. 

 FERDINAND  Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do! 

 Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine, 

 Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne. 

 ROSALINE  O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter; 

 Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water. 

 FERDINAND  Then, in our measure do but vouchsafe one change. 

 Thou bid'st me beg: this begging is not strange. 

 ROSALINE  Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon. 



 Music plays  Not yet! no dance! Thus change I like the moon. 

 FERDINAND  Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged? 

 ROSALINE  You took the moon at full, but now she's changed. 

 FERDINAND  Yet still she is the moon, and I the man. 

 The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it. 

 ROSALINE  Our ears vouchsafe it. 

 FERDINAND  But your legs should do it. 

 ROSALINE  Since you are strangers and come here by chance, 

 We'll not be nice: take hands. We will not dance. 

 FERDINAND  Why take we hands, then? 

 ROSALINE  Only to part friends: 

 Curtsy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends. 

 FERDINAND  More measure of this measure; be not nice. 

 ROSALINE  We can afford no more at such a price. 

 FERDINAND  Prize you yourselves: what buys your company? 

 ROSALINE  Your absence only. 

 FERDINAND  That can never be. 

 ROSALINE  Then cannot we be bought: and so, adieu; 

 Twice to your visor, and half once to you. 

 FERDINAND  If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat. 

 ROSALINE  In private, then. 

 FERDINAND  I am best pleased with that. 



 They converse apart  BIRON  White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee. 

 PRINCESS  Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is three. 

 BIRON  Nay then, two treys, and if you grow so nice, 

 Metheglin, wort, and malmsey: well run, dice! 

 There's half-a-dozen sweets. 

 PRINCESS  Seventh sweet, adieu: 

 Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you. 

 BIRON  One word in secret. 

 PRINCESS  Let it not be sweet. 

 BIRON  Thou grievest my gall. 

 PRINCESS  Gall! bitter. 

 BIRON  Therefore meet. 



 They converse apart  DUMAIN  Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word? 

 MARIA  Name it. 

 DUMAIN  Fair lady,-- 

 MARIA  Say you so? Fair lord,-- 

 Take that for your fair lady. 

 DUMAIN  Please it you, 

 As much in private, and I'll bid adieu. 



 They converse apart  KATHARINE  What, was your vizard made without a tongue? 

 LONGAVILLE  I know the reason, lady, why you ask. 

 KATHARINE  O for your reason! quickly, sir; I long. 

 LONGAVILLE  You have a double tongue within your mask, 

 And would afford my speechless vizard half. 

 KATHARINE  Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not 'veal' a calf? 

 LONGAVILLE  A calf, fair lady! 

 KATHARINE  No, a fair lord calf. 

 LONGAVILLE  Let's part the word. 

 KATHARINE  No, I'll not be your half 

 Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox. 

 LONGAVILLE  Look, how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks! 

 Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so. 

 KATHARINE  Then die a calf, before your horns do grow. 

 LONGAVILLE  One word in private with you, ere I die. 

 KATHARINE  Bleat softly then; the butcher hears you cry. 



 They converse apart  BOYET  The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen 

 As is the razor's edge invisible, 

 Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen, 

 Above the sense of sense; so sensible 

 Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings 

 Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things. 

 ROSALINE  Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off. 

 BIRON  By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff! 

 FERDINAND  Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits. 

 PRINCESS  Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovits. 



 Exeunt FERDINAND, Lords, and Blackamoors  Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at? 

 BOYET  Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out. 

 ROSALINE  Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat. 

 PRINCESS  O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout! 

 Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight? 

 Or ever, but in vizards, show their faces? 

 This pert Biron was out of countenance quite. 

 ROSALINE  O, they were all in lamentable cases! 

 The king was weeping-ripe for a good word. 

 PRINCESS  Biron did swear himself out of all suit. 

 MARIA  Dumain was at my service, and his sword: 

 No point, quoth I; my servant straight was mute. 

 KATHARINE  Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart; 

 And trow you what he called me? 

 PRINCESS  Qualm, perhaps. 

 KATHARINE  Yes, in good faith. 

 PRINCESS  Go, sickness as thou art! 

 ROSALINE  Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps. 

 But will you hear? the king is my love sworn. 

 PRINCESS  And quick Biron hath plighted faith to me. 

 KATHARINE  And Longaville was for my service born. 

 MARIA  Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree. 

 BOYET  Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear: 

 Immediately they will again be here 

 In their own shapes; for it can never be 

 They will digest this harsh indignity. 

 PRINCESS  Will they return? 

 BOYET  They will, they will, God knows, 

 And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows: 

 Therefore change favours; and, when they repair, 

 Blow like sweet roses in this summer air. 

 PRINCESS  How blow? how blow? speak to be understood. 

 BOYET  Fair ladies mask'd are roses in their bud; 

 Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown, 

 Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown. 

 PRINCESS  Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do, 

 If they return in their own shapes to woo? 

 ROSALINE  Good madam, if by me you'll be advised, 

 Let's, mock them still, as well known as disguised: 

 Let us complain to them what fools were here, 

 Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear; 

 And wonder what they were and to what end 

 Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penn'd 

 And their rough carriage so ridiculous, 

 Should be presented at our tent to us. 

 BOYET  Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand. 

 PRINCESS  Whip to our tents, as roes run o'er land. 



 Exeunt PRINCESS, ROSALINE, KATHARINE, and MARIA 

 Re-enter FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habits  FERDINAND  Fair sir, God save you! Where's the princess? 

 BOYET  Gone to her tent. Please it your majesty 

 Command me any service to her thither? 

 FERDINAND  That she vouchsafe me audience for one word. 

 BOYET  I will; and so will she, I know, my lord. 



 Exit  BIRON  This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons pease, 

 And utters it again when God doth please: 

 He is wit's pedler, and retails his wares 

 At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs; 

 And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know, 

 Have not the grace to grace it with such show. 

 This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve; 

 Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve; 

 A' can carve too, and lisp: why, this is he 

 That kiss'd his hand away in courtesy; 

 This is the ape of form, monsieur the nice, 

 That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice 

 In honourable terms: nay, he can sing 

 A mean most meanly; and in ushering 

 Mend him who can: the ladies call him sweet; 

 The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet: 

 This is the flower that smiles on every one, 

 To show his teeth as white as whale's bone; 

 And consciences, that will not die in debt, 

 Pay him the due of honey-tongued Boyet. 

 FERDINAND  A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart, 

 That put Armado's page out of his part! 

 BIRON  See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou 

 Till this madman show'd thee? and what art thou now? 



 Re-enter the PRINCESS, ushered by BOYET, ROSALINE, MARIA, and KATHARINE  FERDINAND  All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day! 

 PRINCESS  'Fair' in 'all hail' is foul, as I conceive. 

 FERDINAND  Construe my speeches better, if you may. 

 PRINCESS  Then wish me better; I will give you leave. 

 FERDINAND  We came to visit you, and purpose now 

 To lead you to our court; vouchsafe it then. 

 PRINCESS  This field shall hold me; and so hold your vow: 

 Nor God, nor I, delights in perjured men. 

 FERDINAND  Rebuke me not for that which you provoke: 

 The virtue of your eye must break my oath. 

 PRINCESS  You nickname virtue; vice you should have spoke; 

 For virtue's office never breaks men's troth. 

 Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure 

 As the unsullied lily, I protest, 

 A world of torments though I should endure, 

 I would not yield to be your house's guest; 

 So much I hate a breaking cause to be 

 Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity. 

 FERDINAND  O, you have lived in desolation here, 

 Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame. 

 PRINCESS  Not so, my lord; it is not so, I swear; 

 We have had pastimes here and pleasant game: 

 A mess of Russians left us but of late. 

 FERDINAND  How, madam! Russians! 

 PRINCESS  Ay, in truth, my lord; 

 Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state. 

 ROSALINE  Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord: 

 My lady, to the manner of the days, 

 In courtesy gives undeserving praise. 

 We four indeed confronted were with four 

 In Russian habit: here they stay'd an hour, 

 And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord, 

 They did not bless us with one happy word. 

 I dare not call them fools; but this I think, 

 When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink. 

 BIRON  This jest is dry to me. Fair gentle sweet, 

 Your wit makes wise things foolish: when we greet, 

 With eyes best seeing, heaven's fiery eye, 

 By light we lose light: your capacity 

 Is of that nature that to your huge store 

 Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor. 

 ROSALINE  This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye,-- 

 BIRON  I am a fool, and full of poverty. 

 ROSALINE  But that you take what doth to you belong, 

 It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue. 

 BIRON  O, I am yours, and all that I possess! 

 ROSALINE  All the fool mine? 

 BIRON  I cannot give you less. 

 ROSALINE  Which of the vizards was it that you wore? 

 BIRON  Where? when? what vizard? why demand you this? 

 ROSALINE  There, then, that vizard; that superfluous case 

 That hid the worse and show'd the better face. 

 FERDINAND  We are descried; they'll mock us now downright. 

 DUMAIN  Let us confess and turn it to a jest. 

 PRINCESS  Amazed, my lord? why looks your highness sad? 

 ROSALINE  Help, hold his brows! he'll swoon! Why look you pale? 

 Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy. 

 BIRON  Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury. 

 Can any face of brass hold longer out? 

 Here stand I  lady, dart thy skill at me; 

 Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout; 

 Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance; 

 Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit; 

 And I will wish thee never more to dance, 

 Nor never more in Russian habit wait. 

 O, never will I trust to speeches penn'd, 

 Nor to the motion of a schoolboy's tongue, 

 Nor never come in vizard to my friend, 

 Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song! 

 Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise, 

 Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation, 

 Figures pedantical; these summer-flies 

 Have blown me full of maggot ostentation: 

 I do forswear them; and I here protest, 

 By this white glove;--how white the hand, God knows!-- 

 Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd 

 In russet yeas and honest kersey noes: 

 And, to begin, wench,--so God help me, la!-- 

 My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw. 

 ROSALINE  Sans sans, I pray you. 

 BIRON  Yet I have a trick 

 Of the old rage: bear with me, I am sick; 

 I'll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see: 

 Write, 'Lord have mercy on us' on those three; 

 They are infected; in their hearts it lies; 

 They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes; 

 These lords are visited; you are not free, 

 For the Lord's tokens on you do I see. 

 PRINCESS  No, they are free that gave these tokens to us. 

 BIRON  Our states are forfeit: seek not to undo us. 

 ROSALINE  It is not so; for how can this be true, 

 That you stand forfeit, being those that sue? 

 BIRON  Peace! for I will not have to do with you. 

 ROSALINE  Nor shall not, if I do as I intend. 

 BIRON  Speak for yourselves; my wit is at an end. 

 FERDINAND  Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression 

 Some fair excuse. 

 PRINCESS  The fairest is confession. 

 Were not you here but even now disguised? 

 FERDINAND  Madam, I was. 

 PRINCESS  And were you well advised? 

 FERDINAND  I was, fair madam. 

 PRINCESS  When you then were here, 

 What did you whisper in your lady's ear? 

 FERDINAND  That more than all the world I did respect her. 

 PRINCESS  When she shall challenge this, you will reject her. 

 FERDINAND  Upon mine honour, no. 

 PRINCESS  Peace, peace! forbear: 

 Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear. 

 FERDINAND  Despise me, when I break this oath of mine. 

 PRINCESS  I will: and therefore keep it. Rosaline, 

 What did the Russian whisper in your ear? 

 ROSALINE  Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear 

 As precious eyesight, and did value me 

 Above this world; adding thereto moreover 

 That he would wed me, or else die my lover. 

 PRINCESS  God give thee joy of him! the noble lord 

 Most honourably doth unhold his word. 

 FERDINAND  What mean you, madam? by my life, my troth, 

 I never swore this lady such an oath. 

 ROSALINE  By heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain, 

 You gave me this: but take it, sir, again. 

 FERDINAND  My faith and this the princess I did give: 

 I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve. 

 PRINCESS  Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear; 

 And Lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear. 

 What, will you have me, or your pearl again? 

 BIRON  Neither of either; I remit both twain. 

 I see the trick on't: here was a consent, 

 Knowing aforehand of our merriment, 

 To dash it like a Christmas comedy: 

 Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany, 

 Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick, 

 That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick 

 To make my lady laugh when she's disposed, 

 Told our intents before; which once disclosed, 

 The ladies did change favours: and then we, 

 Following the signs, woo'd but the sign of she. 

 Now, to our perjury to add more terror, 

 We are again forsworn, in will and error. 

 Much upon this it is: and might not you 



 To BOYET  Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue? 

 Do not you know my lady's foot by the squier, 

 And laugh upon the apple of her eye? 

 And stand between her back, sir, and the fire, 

 Holding a trencher, jesting merrily? 

 You put our page out: go, you are allow'd; 

 Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud. 

 You leer upon me, do you? there's an eye 

 Wounds like a leaden sword. 

 BOYET  Full merrily 

 Hath this brave manage, this career, been run. 

 BIRON  Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done. 



 Enter COSTARD  Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray. 

 COSTARD  O Lord, sir, they would know 

 Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no. 

 BIRON  What, are there but three? 

 COSTARD  No, sir; but it is vara fine, 

 For every one pursents three. 

 BIRON  And three times thrice is nine. 

 COSTARD  Not so, sir; under correction, sir; I hope it is not so. 

 You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir we know 

 what we know: 

 I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir,-- 

 BIRON  Is not nine. 

 COSTARD  Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount. 

 BIRON  By Jove, I always took three threes for nine. 

 COSTARD  O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living 

 by reckoning, sir. 

 BIRON  How much is it? 

 COSTARD  O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors, 

 sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for mine 

 own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man 

 in one poor man, Pompion the Great, sir. 

 BIRON  Art thou one of the Worthies? 

 COSTARD  It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompion the 

 Great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of 

 the Worthy, but I am to stand for him. 

 BIRON  Go, bid them prepare. 

 COSTARD  We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take 

 some care. 



 Exit  FERDINAND  Biron, they will shame us: let them not approach. 

 BIRON  We are shame-proof, my lord: and tis some policy 

 To have one show worse than the king's and his company. 

 FERDINAND  I say they shall not come. 

 PRINCESS  Nay, my good lord, let me o'errule you now: 

 That sport best pleases that doth least know how: 

 Where zeal strives to content, and the contents 

 Dies in the zeal of that which it presents: 

 Their form confounded makes most form in mirth, 

 When great things labouring perish in their birth. 

 BIRON  A right description of our sport, my lord. 



 Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO  DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal 

 sweet breath as will utter a brace of words. 



 Converses apart with FERDINAND, and delivers him a paper  PRINCESS  Doth this man serve God? 

 BIRON  Why ask you? 

 PRINCESS  He speaks not like a man of God's making. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  That is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for, 

 I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding 

 fantastical; too, too vain, too too vain: but we 

 will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra. 

 I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement! 



 Exit  FERDINAND  Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He 

 presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the 

 Great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page, 

 Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus: And if 

 these four Worthies in their first show thrive, 

 These four will change habits, and present the other five. 

 BIRON  There is five in the first show. 

 FERDINAND  You are deceived; 'tis not so. 

 BIRON  The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool 

 and the boy:-- 

 Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again 

 Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein. 

 FERDINAND  The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain. 



 Enter COSTARD, for Pompey  COSTARD  I Pompey am,-- 

 BOYET  You lie, you are not he. 

 COSTARD  I Pompey am,-- 

 BOYET  With libbard's head on knee. 

 BIRON  Well said, old mocker: I must needs be friends 

 with thee. 

 COSTARD  I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big-- 

 DUMAIN  The Great. 

 COSTARD  It is, 'Great,' sir:-- 

 Pompey surnamed the Great; 

 That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make 

 my foe to sweat: 

 And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance, 

 And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France, 

 If your ladyship would say, 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had done. 

 PRINCESS  Great thanks, great Pompey. 

 COSTARD  'Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect: I 

 made a little fault in 'Great.' 

 BIRON  My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy. 



 Enter SIR NATHANIEL, for Alexander  SIR NATHANIEL  When in the world I lived, I was the world's 

 commander; 

 By east, west, north, and south, I spread my 

 conquering might: 

 My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander,-- 

 BOYET  Your nose says, no, you are not for it stands too right. 

 BIRON  Your nose smells 'no' in this, most tender-smelling knight. 

 PRINCESS  The conqueror is dismay'd. Proceed, good Alexander. 

 SIR NATHANIEL  When in the world I lived, I was the world's 

 commander,-- 

 BOYET  Most true, 'tis right; you were so, Alisander. 

 BIRON  Pompey the Great,-- 

 COSTARD  Your servant, and Costard. 

 BIRON  Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander. 

 COSTARD  [To SIR NATHANIEL]  O, sir, you have overthrown 

 Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of 

 the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds 

 his poll-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given 

 to Ajax: he will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror, 

 and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander. 



 SIR NATHANIEL retires  There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an 

 honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a 

 marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good 

 bowler: but, for Alisander,--alas, you see how 

 'tis,--a little o'erparted. But there are Worthies 

 a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort. 



 Enter HOLOFERNES, for Judas; and MOTH, for Hercules  HOLOFERNES  Great Hercules is presented by this imp, 

 Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-headed canis; 

 And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp, 

 Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus. 

 Quoniam he seemeth in minority, 

 Ergo I come with this apology. 

 Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish. 



 MOTH retires  Judas I am,-- 

 DUMAIN  A Judas! 

 HOLOFERNES  Not Iscariot, sir. 

 Judas I am, ycliped Maccabaeus. 

 DUMAIN  Judas Maccabaeus clipt is plain Judas. 

 BIRON  A kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas? 

 HOLOFERNES  Judas I am,-- 

 DUMAIN  The more shame for you, Judas. 

 HOLOFERNES  What mean you, sir? 

 BOYET  To make Judas hang himself. 

 HOLOFERNES  Begin, sir; you are my elder. 

 BIRON  Well followed: Judas was hanged on an elder. 

 HOLOFERNES  I will not be put out of countenance. 

 BIRON  Because thou hast no face. 

 HOLOFERNES  What is this? 

 BOYET  A cittern-head. 

 DUMAIN  The head of a bodkin. 

 BIRON  A Death's face in a ring. 

 LONGAVILLE  The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen. 

 BOYET  The pommel of Caesar's falchion. 

 DUMAIN  The carved-bone face on a flask. 

 BIRON  Saint George's half-cheek in a brooch. 

 DUMAIN  Ay, and in a brooch of lead. 

 BIRON  Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer. 

 And now forward; for we have put thee in countenance. 

 HOLOFERNES  You have put me out of countenance. 

 BIRON  False; we have given thee faces. 

 HOLOFERNES  But you have out-faced them all. 

 BIRON  An thou wert a lion, we would do so. 

 BOYET  Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go. 

 And so adieu, sweet Jude! nay, why dost thou stay? 

 DUMAIN  For the latter end of his name. 

 BIRON  For the ass to the Jude; give it him:--Jud-as, away! 

 HOLOFERNES  This is not generous, not gentle, not humble. 

 BOYET  A light for Monsieur Judas! it grows dark, he may stumble. 



 HOLOFERNES retires  PRINCESS  Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited! 



 Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO, for Hector  BIRON  Hide thy head, Achilles: here comes Hector in arms. 

 DUMAIN  Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry. 

 FERDINAND  Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this. 

 BOYET  But is this Hector? 

 FERDINAND  I think Hector was not so clean-timbered. 

 LONGAVILLE  His leg is too big for Hector's. 

 DUMAIN  More calf, certain. 

 BOYET  No; he is best endued in the small. 

 BIRON  This cannot be Hector. 

 DUMAIN  He's a god or a painter; for he makes faces. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty, 

 Gave Hector a gift,-- 

 DUMAIN  A gilt nutmeg. 

 BIRON  A lemon. 

 LONGAVILLE  Stuck with cloves. 

 DUMAIN  No, cloven. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Peace!-- 

 The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty 

 Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion; 

 A man so breathed, that certain he would fight; yea 

 From morn till night, out of his pavilion. 

 I am that flower,-- 

 DUMAIN  That mint. 

 LONGAVILLE  That columbine. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue. 

 LONGAVILLE  I must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector. 

 DUMAIN  Ay, and Hector's a greyhound. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  The sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks, 

 beat not the bones of the buried: when he breathed, 

 he was a man. But I will forward with my device. 



 To the PRINCESS  Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense of hearing. 

 PRINCESS  Speak, brave Hector: we are much delighted. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  I do adore thy sweet grace's slipper. 

 BOYET  [Aside to DUMAIN]  Loves her by the foot,-- 

 DUMAIN  [Aside to BOYET]  He may not by the yard. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  This Hector far surmounted Hannibal,-- 

 COSTARD  The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she 

 is two months on her way. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  What meanest thou? 

 COSTARD  Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the poor 

 wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in 

 her belly already: tis yours. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? thou shalt 

 die. 

 COSTARD  Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is 

 quick by him and hanged for Pompey that is dead by 

 him. 

 DUMAIN  Most rare Pompey! 

 BOYET  Renowned Pompey! 

 BIRON  Greater than great, great, great, great Pompey! 

 Pompey the Huge! 

 DUMAIN  Hector trembles. 

 BIRON  Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! stir them 

 on! stir them on! 

 DUMAIN  Hector will challenge him. 

 BIRON  Ay, if a' have no man's blood in's belly than will 

 sup a flea. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  By the north pole, I do challenge thee. 

 COSTARD  I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man: 

 I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword. I bepray you, 

 let me borrow my arms again. 

 DUMAIN  Room for the incensed Worthies! 

 COSTARD  I'll do it in my shirt. 

 DUMAIN  Most resolute Pompey! 

 MOTH  Master, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you 

 not see Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean 

 you? You will lose your reputation. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat 

 in my shirt. 

 DUMAIN  You may not deny it: Pompey hath made the challenge. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Sweet bloods, I both may and will. 

 BIRON  What reason have you for't? 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go 

 woolward for penance. 

 BOYET  True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want of 

 linen: since when, I'll be sworn, he wore none but 

 a dishclout of Jaquenetta's, and that a' wears next 

 his heart for a favour. 



 Enter MERCADE  MERCADE  God save you, madam! 

 PRINCESS  Welcome, Mercade; 

 But that thou interrupt'st our merriment. 

 MERCADE  I am sorry, madam; for the news I bring 

 Is heavy in my tongue. The king your father-- 

 PRINCESS  Dead, for my life! 

 MERCADE  Even so; my tale is told. 

 BIRON  Worthies, away! the scene begins to cloud. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I have 

 seen the day of wrong through the little hole of 

 discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier. 



 Exeunt Worthies  FERDINAND  How fares your majesty? 

 PRINCESS  Boyet, prepare; I will away tonight. 

 FERDINAND  Madam, not so; I do beseech you, stay. 

 PRINCESS  Prepare, I say. I thank you, gracious lords, 

 For all your fair endeavors; and entreat, 

 Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe 

 In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide 

 The liberal opposition of our spirits, 

 If over-boldly we have borne ourselves 

 In the converse of breath: your gentleness 

 Was guilty of it. Farewell worthy lord! 

 A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue: 

 Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks 

 For my great suit so easily obtain'd. 

 FERDINAND  The extreme parts of time extremely forms 

 All causes to the purpose of his speed, 

 And often at his very loose decides 

 That which long process could not arbitrate: 

 And though the mourning brow of progeny 

 Forbid the smiling courtesy of love 

 The holy suit which fain it would convince, 

 Yet, since love's argument was first on foot, 

 Let not the cloud of sorrow justle it 

 From what it purposed; since, to wail friends lost 

 Is not by much so wholesome-profitable 

 As to rejoice at friends but newly found. 

 PRINCESS  I understand you not: my griefs are double. 

 BIRON  Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief; 

 And by these badges understand the king. 

 For your fair sakes have we neglected time, 

 Play'd foul play with our oaths: your beauty, ladies, 

 Hath much deform'd us, fashioning our humours 

 Even to the opposed end of our intents: 

 And what in us hath seem'd ridiculous,-- 

 As love is full of unbefitting strains, 

 All wanton as a child, skipping and vain, 

 Form'd by the eye and therefore, like the eye, 

 Full of strange shapes, of habits and of forms, 

 Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll 

 To every varied object in his glance: 

 Which parti-coated presence of loose love 

 Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes, 

 Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities, 

 Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults, 

 Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies, 

 Our love being yours, the error that love makes 

 Is likewise yours: we to ourselves prove false, 

 By being once false for ever to be true 

 To those that make us both,--fair ladies, you: 

 And even that falsehood, in itself a sin, 

 Thus purifies itself and turns to grace. 

 PRINCESS  We have received your letters full of love; 

 Your favours, the ambassadors of love; 

 And, in our maiden council, rated them 

 At courtship, pleasant jest and courtesy, 

 As bombast and as lining to the time: 

 But more devout than this in our respects 

 Have we not been; and therefore met your loves 

 In their own fashion, like a merriment. 

 DUMAIN  Our letters, madam, show'd much more than jest. 

 LONGAVILLE  So did our looks. 

 ROSALINE  We did not quote them so. 

 FERDINAND  Now, at the latest minute of the hour, 

 Grant us your loves. 

 PRINCESS  A time, methinks, too short 

 To make a world-without-end bargain in. 

 No, no, my lord, your grace is perjured much, 

 Full of dear guiltiness; and therefore this: 

 If for my love, as there is no such cause, 

 You will do aught, this shall you do for me: 

 Your oath I will not trust; but go with speed 

 To some forlorn and naked hermitage, 

 Remote from all the pleasures of the world; 

 There stay until the twelve celestial signs 

 Have brought about the annual reckoning. 

 If this austere insociable life 

 Change not your offer made in heat of blood; 

 If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weeds 

 Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love, 

 But that it bear this trial and last love; 

 Then, at the expiration of the year, 

 Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts, 

 And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine 

 I will be thine; and till that instant shut 

 My woeful self up in a mourning house, 

 Raining the tears of lamentation 

 For the remembrance of my father's death. 

 If this thou do deny, let our hands part, 

 Neither entitled in the other's heart. 

 FERDINAND  If this, or more than this, I would deny, 

 To flatter up these powers of mine with rest, 

 The sudden hand of death close up mine eye! 

 Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast. 

 DUMAIN  But what to me, my love? but what to me? A wife? 

 KATHARINE  A beard, fair health, and honesty; 

 With three-fold love I wish you all these three. 

 DUMAIN  O, shall I say, I thank you, gentle wife? 

 KATHARINE  Not so, my lord; a twelvemonth and a day 

 I'll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say: 

 Come when the king doth to my lady come; 

 Then, if I have much love, I'll give you some. 

 DUMAIN  I'll serve thee true and faithfully till then. 

 KATHARINE  Yet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again. 

 LONGAVILLE  What says Maria? 

 MARIA  At the twelvemonth's end 

 I'll change my black gown for a faithful friend. 

 LONGAVILLE  I'll stay with patience; but the time is long. 

 MARIA  The liker you; few taller are so young. 

 BIRON  Studies my lady? mistress, look on me; 

 Behold the window of my heart, mine eye, 

 What humble suit attends thy answer there: 

 Impose some service on me for thy love. 

 ROSALINE  Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Biron, 

 Before I saw you; and the world's large tongue 

 Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks, 

 Full of comparisons and wounding flouts, 

 Which you on all estates will execute 

 That lie within the mercy of your wit. 

 To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain, 

 And therewithal to win me, if you please, 

 Without the which I am not to be won, 

 You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day 

 Visit the speechless sick and still converse 

 With groaning wretches; and your task shall be, 

 With all the fierce endeavor of your wit 

 To enforce the pained impotent to smile. 

 BIRON  To move wild laughter in the throat of death? 

 It cannot be; it is impossible: 

 Mirth cannot move a soul in agony. 

 ROSALINE  Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit, 

 Whose influence is begot of that loose grace 

 Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools: 

 A jest's prosperity lies in the ear 

 Of him that hears it, never in the tongue 

 Of him that makes it: then, if sickly ears, 

 Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear groans, 

 Will hear your idle scorns, continue then, 

 And I will have you and that fault withal; 

 But if they will not, throw away that spirit, 

 And I shall find you empty of that fault, 

 Right joyful of your reformation. 

 BIRON  A twelvemonth! well; befall what will befall, 

 I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital. 

 PRINCESS  [To FERDINAND]  Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave. 

 FERDINAND  No, madam; we will bring you on your way. 

 BIRON  Our wooing doth not end like an old play; 

 Jack hath not Jill: these ladies' courtesy 

 Might well have made our sport a comedy. 

 FERDINAND  Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day, 

 And then 'twill end. 

 BIRON  That's too long for a play. 



 Re-enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO  DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Sweet majesty, vouchsafe me,-- 

 PRINCESS  Was not that Hector? 

 DUMAIN  The worthy knight of Troy. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I am 

 a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the 

 plough for her sweet love three years. But, most 

 esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue that 

 the two learned men have compiled in praise of the 

 owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the 

 end of our show. 

 FERDINAND  Call them forth quickly; we will do so. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  Holla! approach. 



 Re-enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, MOTH, COSTARD, and others  This side is Hiems, Winter, this Ver, the Spring; 

 the one maintained by the owl, the other by the 

 cuckoo. Ver, begin. 



 THE SONG  SPRING. 

 When daisies pied and violets blue 

 And lady-smocks all silver-white 

 And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue 

 Do paint the meadows with delight, 

 The cuckoo then, on every tree, 

 Mocks married men; for thus sings he, 	Cuckoo; 

 Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear, 

 Unpleasing to a married ear! 

 When shepherds pipe on oaten straws 

 And merry larks are ploughmen's clocks, 

 When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws, 

 And maidens bleach their summer smocks 

 The cuckoo then, on every tree, 

 Mocks married men; for thus sings he, 	Cuckoo; 

 Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear, 

 Unpleasing to a married ear! 

 WINTER. 

 When icicles hang by the wall 

 And Dick the shepherd blows his nail 

 And Tom bears logs into the hall 

 And milk comes frozen home in pail, 

 When blood is nipp'd and ways be foul, 

 Then nightly sings the staring owl, 	Tu-whit; 

 Tu-who, a merry note, 

 While greasy Joan doth keel the pot. 

 When all aloud the wind doth blow 

 And coughing drowns the parson's saw 

 And birds sit brooding in the snow 

 And Marian's nose looks red and raw, 

 When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl, 

 Then nightly sings the staring owl, 	Tu-whit; 

 Tu-who, a merry note, 

 While greasy Joan doth keel the pot. 

 DON 

 ADRIANO DE ARMADO  The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of 

 Apollo. You that way: we this way. 



 Exeunt 