SCENE II. The Same. A street. Troilus and Cressida  Shakespeare homepage  |  Troiles and Cressida  | Act 1, Scene 2 

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 Enter CRESSIDA and ALEXANDER  CRESSIDA  Who were those went by? 

 ALEXANDER  Queen Hecuba and Helen. 

 CRESSIDA  And whither go they? 

 ALEXANDER  Up to the eastern tower, 

 Whose height commands as subject all the vale, 

 To see the battle. Hector, whose patience 

 Is, as a virtue, fix'd, to-day was moved: 

 He chid Andromache and struck his armourer, 

 And, like as there were husbandry in war, 

 Before the sun rose he was harness'd light, 

 And to the field goes he; where every flower 

 Did, as a prophet, weep what it foresaw 

 In Hector's wrath. 

 CRESSIDA  What was his cause of anger? 

 ALEXANDER  The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks 

 A lord of Trojan blood, nephew to Hector; 

 They call him Ajax. 

 CRESSIDA  Good; and what of him? 

 ALEXANDER  They say he is a very man per se, 

 And stands alone. 

 CRESSIDA  So do all men, unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs. 

 ALEXANDER  This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their 

 particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion, 

 churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man 

 into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his 

 valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with 

 discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he 

 hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he 

 carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without 

 cause, and merry against the hair: he hath the 

 joints of every thing, but everything so out of joint 

 that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use, 

 or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight. 

 CRESSIDA  But how should this man, that makes 

 me smile, make Hector angry? 

 ALEXANDER  They say he yesterday coped Hector in the battle and 

 struck him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath 

 ever since kept Hector fasting and waking. 

 CRESSIDA  Who comes here? 

 ALEXANDER  Madam, your uncle Pandarus. 



 Enter PANDARUS  CRESSIDA  Hector's a gallant man. 

 ALEXANDER  As may be in the world, lady. 

 PANDARUS  What's that? what's that? 

 CRESSIDA  Good morrow, uncle Pandarus. 

 PANDARUS  Good morrow, cousin Cressid: what do you talk of? 

 Good morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When 

 were you at Ilium? 

 CRESSIDA  This morning, uncle. 

 PANDARUS  What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector 

 armed and gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not 

 up, was she? 

 CRESSIDA  Hector was gone, but Helen was not up. 

 PANDARUS  Even so: Hector was stirring early. 

 CRESSIDA  That were we talking of, and of his anger. 

 PANDARUS  Was he angry? 

 CRESSIDA  So he says here. 

 PANDARUS  True, he was so: I know the cause too: he'll lay 

 about him to-day, I can tell them that: and there's 

 Troilus will not come far behind him: let them take 

 heed of Troilus, I can tell them that too. 

 CRESSIDA  What, is he angry too? 

 PANDARUS  Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two. 

 CRESSIDA  O Jupiter! there's no comparison. 

 PANDARUS  What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a 

 man if you see him? 

 CRESSIDA  Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him. 

 PANDARUS  Well, I say Troilus is Troilus. 

 CRESSIDA  Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector. 

 PANDARUS  No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees. 

 CRESSIDA  'Tis just to each of them; he is himself. 

 PANDARUS  Himself! Alas, poor Troilus! I would he were. 

 CRESSIDA  So he is. 

 PANDARUS  Condition, I had gone barefoot to India. 

 CRESSIDA  He is not Hector. 

 PANDARUS  Himself! no, he's not himself: would a' were 

 himself! Well, the gods are above; time must friend 

 or end: well, Troilus, well: I would my heart were 

 in her body. No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus. 

 CRESSIDA  Excuse me. 

 PANDARUS  He is elder. 

 CRESSIDA  Pardon me, pardon me. 

 PANDARUS  Th' other's not come to't; you shall tell me another 

 tale, when th' other's come to't. Hector shall not 

 have his wit this year. 

 CRESSIDA  He shall not need it, if he have his own. 

 PANDARUS  Nor his qualities. 

 CRESSIDA  No matter. 

 PANDARUS  Nor his beauty. 

 CRESSIDA  'Twould not become him; his own's better. 

 PANDARUS  You have no judgment, niece: Helen 

 herself swore th' other day, that Troilus, for 

 a brown favour--for so 'tis, I must confess,-- 

 not brown neither,-- 

 CRESSIDA  No, but brown. 

 PANDARUS  'Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown. 

 CRESSIDA  To say the truth, true and not true. 

 PANDARUS  She praised his complexion above Paris. 

 CRESSIDA  Why, Paris hath colour enough. 

 PANDARUS  So he has. 

 CRESSIDA  Then Troilus should have too much: if she praised 

 him above, his complexion is higher than his; he 

 having colour enough, and the other higher, is too 

 flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as 

 lief Helen's golden tongue had commended Troilus for 

 a copper nose. 

 PANDARUS  I swear to you. I think Helen loves him better than Paris. 

 CRESSIDA  Then she's a merry Greek indeed. 

 PANDARUS  Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th' other 

 day into the compassed window,--and, you know, he 

 has not past three or four hairs on his chin,-- 

 CRESSIDA  Indeed, a tapster's arithmetic may soon bring his 

 particulars therein to a total. 

 PANDARUS  Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within 

 three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector. 

 CRESSIDA  Is he so young a man and so old a lifter? 

 PANDARUS  But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came 

 and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin-- 

 CRESSIDA  Juno have mercy! how came it cloven? 

 PANDARUS  Why, you know 'tis dimpled: I think his smiling 

 becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia. 

 CRESSIDA  O, he smiles valiantly. 

 PANDARUS  Does he not? 

 CRESSIDA  O yes, an 'twere a cloud in autumn. 

 PANDARUS  Why, go to, then: but to prove to you that Helen 

 loves Troilus,-- 

 CRESSIDA  Troilus will stand to the proof, if you'll 

 prove it so. 

 PANDARUS  Troilus! why, he esteems her no more than I esteem 

 an addle egg. 

 CRESSIDA  If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle 

 head, you would eat chickens i' the shell. 

 PANDARUS  I cannot choose but laugh, to think how she tickled 

 his chin: indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I 

 must needs confess,-- 

 CRESSIDA  Without the rack. 

 PANDARUS  And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin. 

 CRESSIDA  Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer. 

 PANDARUS  But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laughed 

 that her eyes ran o'er. 

 CRESSIDA  With mill-stones. 

 PANDARUS  And Cassandra laughed. 

 CRESSIDA  But there was more temperate fire under the pot of 

 her eyes: did her eyes run o'er too? 

 PANDARUS  And Hector laughed. 

 CRESSIDA  At what was all this laughing? 

 PANDARUS  Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus' chin. 

 CRESSIDA  An't had been a green hair, I should have laughed 

 too. 

 PANDARUS  They laughed not so much at the hair as at his pretty answer. 

 CRESSIDA  What was his answer? 

 PANDARUS  Quoth she, 'Here's but two and fifty hairs on your 

 chin, and one of them is white. 

 CRESSIDA  This is her question. 

 PANDARUS  That's true; make no question of that. 'Two and 

 fifty hairs' quoth he, 'and one white: that white 

 hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.' 

 'Jupiter!' quoth she, 'which of these hairs is Paris, 

 my husband? 'The forked one,' quoth he, 'pluck't 

 out, and give it him.' But there was such laughing! 

 and Helen so blushed, an Paris so chafed, and all the 

 rest so laughed, that it passed. 

 CRESSIDA  So let it now; for it has been while going by. 

 PANDARUS  Well, cousin. I told you a thing yesterday; think on't. 

 CRESSIDA  So I do. 

 PANDARUS  I'll be sworn 'tis true; he will weep you, an 'twere 

 a man born in April. 

 CRESSIDA  And I'll spring up in his tears, an 'twere a nettle 

 against May. 



 A retreat sounded  PANDARUS  Hark! they are coming from the field: shall we 

 stand up here, and see them as they pass toward 

 Ilium? good niece, do, sweet niece Cressida. 

 CRESSIDA  At your pleasure. 

 PANDARUS  Here, here, here's an excellent place; here we may 

 see most bravely: I'll tell you them all by their 

 names as they pass by; but mark Troilus above the rest. 

 CRESSIDA  Speak not so loud. 



 AENEAS passes  PANDARUS  That's AEneas: is not that a brave man? he's one of 

 the flowers of Troy, I can tell you: but mark 

 Troilus; you shall see anon. 



 ANTENOR passes  CRESSIDA  Who's that? 

 PANDARUS  That's Antenor: he has a shrewd wit, I can tell you; 

 and he's a man good enough, he's one o' the soundest 

 judgments in whosoever, and a proper man of person. 

 When comes Troilus? I'll show you Troilus anon: if 

 he see me, you shall see him nod at me. 

 CRESSIDA  Will he give you the nod? 

 PANDARUS  You shall see. 

 CRESSIDA  If he do, the rich shall have more. 



 HECTOR passes  PANDARUS  That's Hector, that, that, look you, that; there's a 

 fellow! Go thy way, Hector! There's a brave man, 

 niece. O brave Hector! Look how he looks! there's 

 a countenance! is't not a brave man? 

 CRESSIDA  O, a brave man! 

 PANDARUS  Is a' not? it does a man's heart good. Look you 

 what hacks are on his helmet! look you yonder, do 

 you see? look you there: there's no jesting; 

 there's laying on, take't off who will, as they say: 

 there be hacks! 

 CRESSIDA  Be those with swords? 

 PANDARUS  Swords! any thing, he cares not; an the devil come 

 to him, it's all one: by God's lid, it does one's 

 heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris. 



 PARIS passes  Look ye yonder, niece; is't not a gallant man too, 

 is't not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came 

 hurt home to-day? he's not hurt: why, this will do 

 Helen's heart good now, ha! Would I could see 

 Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon. 



 HELENUS passes  CRESSIDA  Who's that? 

 PANDARUS  That's Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That's 

 Helenus. I think he went not forth to-day. That's Helenus. 

 CRESSIDA  Can Helenus fight, uncle? 

 PANDARUS  Helenus? no. Yes, he'll fight indifferent well. I 

 marvel where Troilus is. Hark! do you not hear the 

 people cry 'Troilus'? Helenus is a priest. 

 CRESSIDA  What sneaking fellow comes yonder? 



 TROILUS passes  PANDARUS  Where? yonder? that's Deiphobus. 'Tis Troilus! 

 there's a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the 

 prince of chivalry! 

 CRESSIDA  Peace, for shame, peace! 

 PANDARUS  Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon 

 him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and 

 his helm more hacked than Hector's, and how he looks, 

 and how he goes! O admirable youth! he ne'er saw 

 three and twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way! 

 Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, 

 he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? 

 Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to 

 change, would give an eye to boot. 

 CRESSIDA  Here come more. 



 Forces pass  PANDARUS  Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! 

 porridge after meat! I could live and die i' the 

 eyes of Troilus. Ne'er look, ne'er look: the eagles 

 are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had 

 rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and 

 all Greece. 

 CRESSIDA  There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus. 

 PANDARUS  Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel. 

 CRESSIDA  Well, well. 

 PANDARUS  'Well, well!' why, have you any discretion? have 

 you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not 

 birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, 

 learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, 

 and such like, the spice and salt that season a man? 

 CRESSIDA  Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date 

 in the pie, for then the man's date's out. 

 PANDARUS  You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you 

 lie. 

 CRESSIDA  Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to 

 defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine 

 honesty; my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to 

 defend all these: and at all these wards I lie, at a 

 thousand watches. 

 PANDARUS  Say one of your watches. 

 CRESSIDA  Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the 

 chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would 

 not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took 

 the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it's 

 past watching. 

 PANDARUS  You are such another! 



 Enter Troilus's Boy  Boy  Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you. 

 PANDARUS  Where? 

 Boy  At your own house; there he unarms him. 

 PANDARUS  Good boy, tell him I come. 



 Exit boy  I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece. 

 CRESSIDA  Adieu, uncle. 

 PANDARUS  I'll be with you, niece, by and by. 

 CRESSIDA  To bring, uncle? 

 PANDARUS  Ay, a token from Troilus. 

 CRESSIDA  By the same token, you are a bawd. 



 Exit PANDARUS  Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice, 

 He offers in another's enterprise; 

 But more in Troilus thousand fold I see 

 Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be; 

 Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing: 

 Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing. 

 That she beloved knows nought that knows not this: 

 Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is: 

 That she was never yet that ever knew 

 Love got so sweet as when desire did sue. 

 Therefore this maxim out of love I teach: 

 Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech: 

 Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear, 

 Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear. 



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