neg	tristar	1	:	30	1997	r	(	language	,	violence	,	dennis	rodman	)	cast	:	jean	claude	van	damme	;	mickey	rourke	;	dennis	rodman	;	natacha	lindinger	;	paul	freeman	director	:	tsui	hark	screenplay	:	dan	jakoby	;	paul	mones	ripe	with	explosions	,	mass	death	and	really	weird	hairdos	,	tsui	hark's	"	double	team	"	must	be	the	result	of	a	tipsy	hollywood	power	lunch	that	decided	jean	claude	van	damme	needs	another	notch	on	his	bad	movie	bedpost	and	nba	superstar	dennis	rodman	should	have	an	acting	career	.	actually	,	in	"	double	team	,	"	neither's	performance	is	all	that	bad	.	i've	always	been	the	one	critic	to	defend	van	damme	he	possesses	a	high	charisma	level	that	some	genre	stars	(	namely	steven	seagal	)	never	aim	for	;	it's	just	that	he's	never	made	a	movie	so	exuberantly	witty	since	1994's	"	timecop	.	"	and	rodman	.	.	.	well	,	he's	pretty	much	rodman	.	he's	extremely	colorful	,	and	therefore	he	pretty	much	fits	his	role	to	a	t	,	even	if	the	role	is	that	of	an	ex	cia	weapons	expert	.	it's	the	story	that	needs	some	major	work	.	van	damme	plays	counter	terrorist	operative	jack	quinn	,	who	teams	up	with	arms	dealer	yaz	(	rodman	)	to	rub	out	deadly	gangster	stavros	(	mickey	rourke	,	all	beefy	and	weird	looking	)	in	an	antwerp	amusement	park	.	the	job	is	botched	when	stavros'	son	gets	killed	in	the	gunfire	,	and	quinn	is	taken	off	to	an	island	known	as	"	the	colony	"	a	think	tank	for	soldiers	"	too	valuable	to	kill	"	but	"	too	dangerous	to	set	free	.	"	quinn	escapes	and	tries	to	make	it	back	home	to	his	pregnant	wife	(	natacha	lindinger	)	,	but	stavros	is	out	for	revenge	and	kidnaps	her	.	so	,	what's	a	kickboxing	mercenary	to	do	?	quinn	looks	up	yaz	and	the	two	travel	to	rome	so	they	can	rescue	the	woman	,	kill	stavros	,	save	the	world	and	do	whatever	else	the	screenplay	requires	them	to	do	.	with	crazy	,	often	eye	popping	camera	work	by	peter	pau	and	rodman's	lite	brite	locks	,	"	double	team	"	should	be	a	mildly	enjoyable	guilty	pleasure	.	but	too	much	tries	to	happen	in	each	frame	,	and	the	result	is	a	movie	that	leaves	you	exhausted	rather	than	exhilarated	.	the	numerous	action	scenes	are	loud	and	headache	inducing	and	the	frenetic	pacing	never	slows	down	enough	for	us	to	care	about	what's	going	on	in	the	movie	.	and	much	of	what's	going	on	is	just	wacky	.	there's	a	whole	segment	devoted	to	net	surfing	monks	that	i	have	yet	to	figure	out	.	and	the	climax	finds	quinn	going	head	to	head	with	a	tiger	in	the	roman	coliseum	while	yaz	circles	them	on	a	motorcycle	,	trying	to	avoid	running	over	land	mines	and	hold	on	to	quinn's	baby	boy	(	who's	in	a	bomb	equipped	basket	)	all	this	while	stavros	watches	shirtless	from	the	bleachers	.	did	i	mention	"	double	team	"	is	strange	?	when	it	all	comes	down	,	this	is	just	another	rarely	entertaining	formula	killathon	,	albeit	one	that	feels	no	need	to	indulge	in	gratuitous	profanity	.	rodman	juices	things	up	with	his	blatantly	vibrant	screen	persona	,	though	,	leading	up	to	a	stunt	where	he	kicks	an	opponent	between	the	legs	.	but	we	didn't	need	"	double	team	"	to	tell	us	he	could	do	that	,	did	we	?	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
neg	arlington	road	1	4	.	directed	by	mark	pellington	.	written	by	ehren	kruger	.	photography	,	bobby	bukowski	.	editing	,	conrad	buff	.	production	design	,	therese	deprez	.	music	,	angelo	badalamenti	.	producers	,	peter	samuelson	,	tom	gorai	,	marc	samuelson	.	cast	:	jeff	bridges	(	michael	faraday	)	,	tim	robbins	(	oliver	lang	)	,	joan	cusack	(	cheryl	lang	)	,	hope	davis	(	brooke	wolfe	)	,	robert	gossett	(	fbi	agent	whit	carver	)	,	mason	gamble	(	brady	lang	)	,	spencer	treat	clark	(	grant	faraday	)	,	stanley	anderson	(	dr	.	archer	scobee	)	,	et	al	.	a	screen	gems	release	.	117	minutes	.	r	(	violence	)	the	day	after	i	saw	this	movie	,	i	was	reading	in	the	new	york	times	george	vecsey's	analysis	of	the	us	women's	soccer	team	victory	.	(	vecsey	is	both	a	paragon	of	sports	writers	and	an	excellent	author	of	non	sports	books	,	including	"	loretta	lynn	,	coal	miner's	daughter	"	the	bestseller	which	became	a	great	movie	)	.	i	quote	:	"	now	the	american	women	are	hot	,	but	,	then	again	,	america	lives	for	temporary	diversion	and	instant	gratification	new	pop	groups	,	new	sunglasses	,	new	cars	,	new	internet	stocks	.	"	one	might	add	to	this	many	other	items	,	including	new	movies	,	such	as	arlington	road	.	the	following	day	i	received	a	tbs	announcement	for	a	made	for	cable	film	,	first	daughter	,	about	the	kidnapping	of	the	president's	daughter	by	american	terrorists	.	as	voltaire	said	about	god	,	"	if	he	didn't	exist	,	he	should	have	been	invented	.	"	hollywood	,	in	the	absence	of	that	so	useful	big	bad	soviet	bear	,	predictably	turned	to	world	wide	terrorism	,	including	home	grown	american	destroyers	.	as	in	arlington	road	,	an	ambitious	but	disappointing	opus	.	at	d	.	c	.	's	george	washington	university	,	professor	faraday	(	bridges	)	teaches	courses	on	terrorism	.	he's	a	widower	with	his	boy	,	grant	.	his	fbi	agent	wife	,	was	killed	in	a	federal	cock	up	.	faraday	is	being	semi	consoled	by	brooke	,	one	of	his	graduate	students	.	he	lives	on	arlington	road	where	he	makes	friends	with	neighbors	oliver	(	robbins	)	and	cheryl	lang	(	cusack	)	.	then	he	begins	to	suspect	that	oliver	is	not	the	architect	he	claims	to	be	,	but	a	terrorist	leader	.	.	.	the	film	open	with	the	protracted	,	unexplained	sequence	.	a	heavily	bloodied	,	badly	burnt	boy	staggers	down	a	street	.	just	as	you	think	that	he'll	fall	down	dead	,	he	is	rescued	by	michael	faraday	who	drives	him	to	a	hospital	.	it's	all	done	as	a	skillful	"	internal	"	montage	,	whose	horror	,	however	,	does	not	really	hide	goofs	and	improbabilities	.	item	:	in	a	close	up	,	a	drop	of	blood	falls	on	one	of	the	boy's	sneakers	.	seconds	later	,	the	same	sneaker	has	no	blood	.	item	:	arlington	road	is	a	suburban	street	flanked	by	many	houses	and	lawns	but	i	cannot	remember	seeing	any	people	around	.	it	is	far	too	convenient	that	the	only	driver	who	notices	the	kid's	predicament	is	faraday	.	item	:	the	child	rapidly	goes	from	apparent	death	throes	to	a	lightning	fast	recovery	with	one	arm	in	a	cast	as	the	only	visible	sign	.	the	explanation	of	the	boy's	condition	,	given	by	his	parents	,	the	langs	,	is	a	fireworks	accident	.	all	this	is	an	artificial	gimmick	to	have	faraday	and	the	langs	meet	and	develop	nice	,	neighborly	relations	.	the	couple	has	a	boy	,	brady	,	and	two	girls	.	brady	and	grant	become	best	friends	.	this	is	held	in	reserve	for	future	,	nefarious	purposes	.	it	is	also	is	a	gimmick	for	dis	alienating	the	orphan	grant	who	disapproves	of	papa's	girlfriend	brooke	,	and	for	turning	the	8	year	old	into	a	"	regular	american	boy	,	"	a	fact	that	gets	worked	into	the	plot	.	another	ho	hummer	.	michael	faraday's	questioning	of	oliver's	kosher	ness	as	a	designer	of	malls	starts	with	his	2	seconds'	glimpse	of	plans	that	are	not	of	a	mall	but	of	an	office	building	.	quick	eyes	,	what	?	item	:	when	later	michael	needs	to	look	at	those	plans	by	getting	into	the	lang	house	when	the	couple	is	not	there	,	the	two	little	girls	who	open	the	door	are	uncharacteristically	pan	faced	and	suspicious	;	michael's	excuses	for	entering	are	woolly	minded	,	blatantly	dumb	.	so	is	his	search	.	item	:	brooke	,	rather	thinking	that	michael's	suspicions	are	paranoid	,	is	an	unbelievably	obtuse	naysayer	.	so	is	the	fbi	agent	,	a	friend	of	michael's	.	cliche	item	:	when	a	good	person	is	feverishly	phoning	about	a	discovery	from	a	pay	phone	,	and	turns	around	,	the	enemy	is	standing	there	.	improbable	item	:	michael	is	checking	old	newspaper	files	about	oliver	.	.	.	who	suddenly	appears	behind	him	.	cliche	item	:	the	obligatory	as	well	as	unbelievable	car	chase	.	impossible	item	:	the	way	chasers	and	chased	connect	.	goof	item	:	a	car	is	hit	broadsides	;	next	that	side	is	shown	undamaged	.	here	i	eliminate	about	dozens	of	other	items	the	finale	is	highly	improbable	but	does	score	a	point	by	going	against	the	guesses	of	audiences	conditioned	by	too	many	action	good	vs	.	evil	flicks	.	i	won't	disclose	it	.	the	script	of	arlington	road	a	name	evoking	red	,	white	and	blue	patriotism	wastes	much	money	and	technical	talent	during	its	two	hours	where	nothing	makes	sense	.	its	photography	and	editing	are	artsy	not	arty	.	story	an	dialogue	go	overboard	with	deviousness	and	indirection	.	has	no	one	learned	from	alfred	hitchcock	the	value	of	clarity	?	.	the	whole	is	an	alienating	mess	,	and	a	probably	uncalled	for	stress	on	large	scale	,	minutely	organized	,	hugely	financed	(	but	by	whom	?	)	american	terrorism	.	the	movie's	events	are	under	the	sign	of	the	world	trade	center	and	oklahoma	city	bombings	,	and	the	mess	at	ruby	ridge	.	consciously	or	not	,	it	connects	with	such	good	pictures	as	the	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	,	the	stepford	wives	,	seconds	,	rosemary's	baby	,	et	al	.	,	that	is	,	films	where	people	are	not	what	they	seem	to	be	.	rescuing	it	from	total	destruction	are	good	performances	by	bridges	who	is	convincing	in	his	pain	and	obsessions	;	by	robbins	who	is	smooth	and	would	be	frightening	if	credible	;	and	by	the	clever	casting	of	ever	charming	joan	cusack	as	a	wolf	in	lamb's	clothing	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
neg	the	brady	bunch	movie	is	less	a	motion	picture	than	a	minor	pop	event	.	forget	your	reruns	and	forget	your	nick	at	nite	;	this	dead	on	recreation	of	the	fabled	seventies	sitcom	is	both	so	exhilarating	and	so	disturbing	that	you	half	expect	to	see	the	ghost	of	rod	serling	appear	in	the	narrative	.	did	we	really	act	this	way	twenty	years	ago	?	of	course	not	.	the	genius	of	the	brady	bunch	movie	is	how	it	heightens	the	surreality	of	the	family	unit	from	hell	by	fast	forwarding	them	into	the	future	.	it's	1995	and	greg	still	calls	the	chicks	"	groovy	,	"	and	marsha	still	considers	hair	brushing	the	high	point	of	her	day	.	bell	bottoms	are	in	,	and	alice	has	yet	to	move	out	.	nothing	has	changed	within	the	garish	walls	of	brady	manor	and	,	so	,	the	plot	has	the	family	stepping	out	into	the	real	world	,	where	they	are	confronted	by	everything	from	carjackers	to	lesbians	.	granted	,	nothing	too	serious	happens	here	.	with	the	exception	of	some	heavy	sexual	innuendo	,	the	brady	bunch	movie	is	about	as	sanitary	as	the	source	material	.	and	that's	too	bad	.	director	betty	thomas	(	of	tv's	"	hill	street	blues	"	fame	)	doesn't	cut	between	real	life	and	brady	life	enough	to	make	the	contrast	as	glaring	as	it	should	be	.	the	edge	isn't	sharp	enough	.	we	know	that	what	we're	watching	is	funky	,	though	,	so	it's	not	that	much	of	a	problem	.	nor	are	the	glaring	low	production	standards	.	the	cast	is	uniformly	appealing	.	shelly	long	seems	to	have	found	her	niche	under	awful	hair	,	while	gary	cole	is	right	on	the	mark	with	dad's	sing	song	truisms	.	christine	taylor	is	the	best	of	the	brady	kids	.	she's	a	cheery	delight	as	marsha	and	is	a	dead	ringer	for	maureen	mccormick	.	her	foil	is	jennifer	elise	cox	,	who	is	a	howl	as	the	brooding	jan	.
neg	janeane	garofalo	in	a	romantic	comedy	it	was	a	good	idea	a	couple	years	ago	with	the	truth	about	cats	and	dogs	but	is	almost	excruciating	in	the	matchmaker	.	this	is	a	by	the	books	movie	that	plods	along	on	a	predestined	course	with	no	surprises	and	very	few	laughs	.	it	also	jumps	on	the	ever	popular	political	satire	bandwagon	and	manages	to	fall	flat	there	,	too	.	garofalo	plays	a	campaign	aide	to	a	massacusetts	senator	(	jay	o	.	sanders	)	running	for	reelection	.	denis	leary	plays	the	stereotypical	strategist	with	no	ethics	who	decides	the	only	way	for	the	scandal	plagued	senator	to	win	is	to	play	up	his	irish	roots	and	cash	in	on	that	boston	roman	catholic	democrat	contingent	that's	made	the	kennedy	family	so	popular	.	so	leary	orders	garofalo	to	go	to	ireland	and	dig	up	some	relatives	to	exploit	.	she	soon	learns	why	"	easier	said	than	done	"	is	the	mantra	of	movies	like	this	.	the	matchmaker	falls	for	every	cliche	of	things	that	can	go	wrong	garofalo	has	to	take	a	tiny	plane	to	ireland	,	almost	misses	the	bus	to	town	,	can't	get	a	hotel	room	,	ends	up	in	the	smallest	,	trashiest	one	around	,	has	a	dog	piss	on	her	luggage	,	and	so	on	.	then	comes	what	roger	ebert	calls	the	"	meet	cute	.	"	it	happens	in	every	romance	:	the	man	and	woman	have	to	meet	each	other	for	the	first	time	in	some	unconventional	,	cinematic	way	.	in	the	matchmaker	,	it	happens	when	garofalo	walks	into	her	hotel	bathroom	and	finds	a	nude	sean	(	david	o'hara	)	in	the	bathtub	,	his	dog	sitting	at	his	side	.	no	points	for	guessing	it's	the	same	dog	that	just	made	water	on	her	luggage	.	also	no	points	for	guessing	garofalo	hates	o'hara	on	sight	.	that's	how	it	works	in	movies	like	these	.	i	know	from	the	instant	i	saw	that	irishman	in	the	bathtub	that	she'd	hate	him	for	awhile	,	then	succumb	to	his	charms	,	live	happily	for	a	reel	or	so	before	allowing	some	superficial	detail	to	throw	the	relationship	into	turmoil	,	after	which	they'd	reconcile	in	time	for	a	happy	irish	tune	to	play	over	the	end	credits	.	i	haven't	mentioned	the	movie's	twist	yet	.	garofalo	comes	to	the	small	ireland	town	during	the	annual	matchmaking	festival	,	during	which	lonely	folks	from	around	the	county	pair	off	into	a	future	of	bliss	.	milo	o'shea	(	who	looks	like	an	irish	tom	snyder	)	is	the	matchmaker	who	pops	onscreen	occasionally	to	spew	his	words	of	wisdom	and	bring	lonely	souls	together	.	rest	assured	he'll	do	all	he	can	to	match	up	garofalo	and	o'hara	.	oh	,	and	in	keeping	with	the	matchmaker's	utter	predictability	,	he	dies	toward	the	end	.	what	the	message	here	?	sometimes	even	the	most	respectable	person	of	comedic	distinction	,	like	garofalo	,	will	sell	out	with	a	weak	script	.	i	was	excited	to	see	garofalo	and	leary	in	the	same	movie	,	but	they	actually	only	have	two	or	three	scenes	together	.	leary	stays	stateside	,	for	the	most	part	,	yelling	at	garofalo	over	the	phone	and	generally	being	an	asshole	.	he	even	undoes	himself	with	the	old	microphone's	still	on	after	he's	done	giving	the	speech	cliche	.	both	of	them	should	have	known	better	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
neg	i'm	going	to	keep	this	plot	summary	brief	,	something	i	wish	mr	.	warren	had	done	with	his	"	film	"	(	i	know	,	"	manos	"	only	runs	74	minutes	,	but	that's	not	brief	enough	)	.	michael	(	hal	warren	)	leads	his	family	on	a	trip	out	into	the	middle	of	nowhere	.	after	being	lost	for	a	great	deal	of	time	,	they	stumble	across	a	lodge	run	by	torgo	(	the	late	john	reynolds	)	,	a	small	man	with	large	knees	.	torgo	informs	the	family	that	he	watches	the	house	while	the	master	(	tom	neyman	)	is	away	.	michael	insists	on	torgo	allowing	his	family	to	stay	,	despite	the	fact	that	michael's	wife	,	margaret	(	the	late	diane	mahree	)	,	and	daughter	,	debbie	(	stephanie	nielson	)	,	aren't	too	keen	on	staying	.	torgo	relents	and	slowly	carries	the	family's	luggage	into	the	house	.	meanwhile	,	the	master	awakens	,	and	his	wives	(	jackey	neyman	,	sherry	proctor	,	robin	redd	)	vie	for	his	favor	by	wrestling	in	the	mud	.	i'm	afraid	i'm	not	an	eloquent	enough	writer	to	adequately	describe	the	experience	that	is	"	manos	,	the	hands	of	fate	"	.	i	don't	believe	i	can	do	justice	to	this	diamond	in	the	rough	;	this	magnificent	piece	of	filmmaking	that	is	oh	forget	it	,	i	can't	even	say	it	.	"	manos	,	the	hands	of	fate	"	is	,	arguably	,	the	worst	movie	of	all	time	.	imagine	,	if	you	will	,	the	following	:	hal	warren	,	a	fertilizer	salesman	,	bets	a	friend	that	he	can	make	a	popular	horror	film	on	a	minimal	budget	.	he	hires	several	actors	who	have	little	to	no	experience	or	training	(	he	himself	has	no	experience	or	training	)	,	and	leads	the	cast	through	a	script	which	consists	of	long	spells	of	nothingness	occurring	.	you're	no	doubt	wondering	why	i	have	referred	to	cast	members	as	"	the	late	"	;	it's	because	after	the	film	was	finished	,	and	the	cast	laughed	out	of	the	theater	at	its	premier	,	three	(	that's	right	,	three	)	cast	members	committed	suicide	.	"	manos	"	(	which	means	hands	,	by	the	way	)	has	since	become	a	legendary	film	;	one	which	can	only	be	watched	under	one	of	three	circumstances	:	you're	completely	drunk	,	completely	insane	,	or	completely	asleep	.	while	looking	over	the	list	of	actors	involved	in	this	project	,	you'll	most	likely	realize	that	none	of	the	names	sound	familiar	.	that's	because	each	cast	member	sealed	his	her	acting	fate	by	appearing	in	this	"	movie	"	.	not	one	actor	involved	went	on	to	make	any	other	picture	.	could	appearing	in	a	bad	movie	really	do	this	to	one's	career	?	it's	doubtful	.	for	example	,	barry	pepper	will	no	doubt	go	on	to	make	other	films	after	"	battlefield	earth	"	(	which	is	not	to	say	"	battlefield	earth	"	is	in	the	same	league	as	"	manos	"	)	.	the	chief	reason	none	of	these	actors	went	on	to	other	films	is	because	none	of	them	could	act	.	hal	warren	was	as	incompetent	in	front	of	the	camera	as	he	was	behind	it	;	tom	neyman	made	van	damme	look	like	an	oscar	winner	;	and	diane	mahree's	part	consisted	of	,	well	,	nothing	really	.	the	only	two	actors	worth	noting	are	john	reynolds	and	stephanie	nielson	.	stephanie	nielson	may	have	been	only	a	child	,	but	she	outdid	every	adult	in	the	film	(	she's	no	doubt	in	a	mental	institute	somewhere	after	experiencing	this	movie	)	.	john	reynolds	,	who	was	sadly	one	of	the	three	casualties	of	this	war	,	actually	showed	some	small	trace	of	talent	.	do	i	mean	he	was	good	?	not	in	the	slightest	.	yet	,	i	think	if	he'd	received	some	schooling	and	experience	he	might	have	gone	on	to	a	small	career	.	so	what	does	a	movie	look	like	when	there's	no	budget	?	well	,	picture	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	without	the	scares	(	oh	wait	,	there	were	no	scares	in	"	blair	witch	"	)	,	the	extras	,	the	scenery	,	or	the	nice	cameras	.	you	see	,	"	manos	,	the	hands	of	fate	"	was	filmed	with	such	a	cheap	,	ancient	camera	that	the	film	could	only	be	shot	in	thirty	two	second	bursts	.	this	means	there	are	fades	and	or	cuts	every	thirty	two	seconds	for	no	reason	.	the	costuming	in	"	manos	"	is	rather	interesting	.	there	are	really	only	three	different	bits	of	costuming	:	the	wives'	undergarments	,	which	they	wear	while	fighting	each	other	;	the	master's	cloak	of	hands	,	which	is	a	large	cloak	covered	in	large	hands	(	something	involving	the	god	manos	,	whom	he	serves	)	;	and	torgo's	knees	.	torgo's	knees	,	by	the	way	,	may	look	like	nothing	more	than	large	anomalies	stuck	to	his	legs	,	but	they're	actually	an	ingenious	invention	thought	up	by	john	reynolds	.	torgo	is	actually	supposed	to	be	a	satyr	,	and	the	large	knees	were	supposed	to	represent	goat	legs	.	i'm	not	quite	sure	how	reynolds	thought	this	up	,	and	i'm	not	sure	how	we	were	supposed	to	know	they	were	goat	legs	,	and	i'm	not	even	sure	why	torgo	is	supposed	to	be	a	satyr	,	but	there	you	have	it	.	there	are	two	more	things	worth	noting	in	"	manos	"	.	one	is	the	dialogue	,	particularly	that	of	torgo	;	the	other	is	the	soundtrack	.	torgo's	dialogue	generally	consists	of	repeating	the	same	phrases	over	and	over	again	.	for	example	,	when	asked	about	the	master's	health	,	torgo	states	:	"	dead	?	no	,	madam	.	not	dead	the	way	you	know	it	.	he	is	with	us	always	.	not	dead	the	way	you	know	it	.	he	is	with	us	always	.	"	i	think	warren	wanted	to	emphasize	the	fact	that	he	wasn't	dead	like	we	know	it	,	but	i	could	be	wrong	.	torgo	also	states	,	in	a	line	vaguely	(	very	vaguely	)	reminiscent	of	a	classic	line	from	rosalie	crutchley	in	"	the	haunting	"	:	"	there	is	no	way	out	of	here	.	it'll	be	dark	soon	.	there	is	no	way	out	of	here	.	"	it	should	be	noted	that	the	camera	used	was	so	ancient	and	decrepit	that	it	could	not	record	sound	.	therefore	,	all	the	characters	voices	were	dubbed	by	four	different	people	:	hal	warren	,	hal's	wife	,	and	two	friends	.	the	soundtrack	to	"	manos	"	is	certainly	one	of	the	high	points	.	after	some	strange	and	out	of	place	lounge	music	in	the	film's	opening	(	which	consists	of	a	lot	of	driving	)	we	settle	into	the	torgo	theme	,	which	is	made	up	of	six	notes	played	over	and	over	again	till	you're	certain	your	ears	will	begin	to	bleed	.	if	i	haven't	made	this	film	sound	bad	enough	,	and	you	are	unfortunate	enough	to	go	and	witness	it	,	i	do	apologize	.	i'd	recommend	"	manos	,	the	hands	of	fate	"	to	those	who	simply	adore	classic	bad	movies	(	because	this	one	ranks	amongst	the	worst	)	and	award	it	a	full	one	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	send	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	past	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	?	public	yes	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	?	public	yes	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	a	one	of	the	best	movies	of	the	year	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	at	your	own	risk	.	see	this	one	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	hr	get	your	private	,	free	e	mail	from	msn	hotmail	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	a	share	information	about	yourself	,	create	your	own	public	profile	at	a	href	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	a
neg	review	by	lars	lindahl	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	larsattacks	mail	.	com	"	larsattacks	mail	.	com	a	)	starring	norm	macdonald	,	dave	chapelle	,	elaine	stritch	,	sherman	hemsley	,	daniel	benzali	,	and	danny	devito	the	most	popular	trend	of	the	last	couple	of	years	has	been	the	twist	ending	.	watching	one	of	these	movies	,	everything	seems	to	make	sense	until	suddenly	you	are	blown	away	by	an	unexpected	surprise	.	when	the	film	ends	,	there	is	a	moment	of	confusion	,	then	recollection	,	then	some	more	confusion	,	then	possibly	a	second	viewing	for	clarification	.	this	is	a	description	of	an	ideal	twist	that	perfects	everything	it	sets	out	to	do	and	more	.	good	surprises	make	movies	fun	to	watch	.	then	there	are	the	bad	twists	.	you	either	know	what	is	going	to	happen	ten	minutes	into	the	movie	(	i'm	talking	about	you	reindeer	games	)	or	you	did	not	guess	the	ending	because	it	is	so	outrageously	stupid	.	screwed	perfectly	suits	the	latter	description	.	what	starts	out	as	a	dumb	guilty	pleasure	which	should	be	fun	to	mock	with	a	group	of	friends	ends	with	a	complex	finale	with	way	too	much	going	on	.	by	the	writers	of	man	on	the	moon	and	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	,	scott	alexander	and	larry	karaszewski	leave	milos	forman	behind	and	take	a	stab	at	film	directing	.	whoops	.	screwed	is	an	inane	christmas	carol	gone	berserk	with	few	genuine	laughs	and	many	acting	embarrassments	.	norm	macdonald	stars	as	willard	filmore	,	a	hard	working	chauffeur	who	just	wants	a	little	respect	from	his	rich	,	old	,	insidious	boss	,	miss	crock	(	elaine	stritch	)	.	when	he	overhears	her	plans	to	fire	him	on	christmas	day	,	willard	is	convinced	by	his	best	friend	rusty	(	dave	chapelle	)	to	kidnap	crock's	beloved	dog	and	hold	it	for	a	ransom	of	one	million	dollars	.	too	excited	to	pay	any	attention	,	the	hapless	losers'	plan	goes	awry	when	the	dog	escapes	and	returns	home	.	now	crock	thinks	willard	has	been	kidnapped	and	the	two	friends	,	realizing	they	can	make	even	more	money	,	decide	to	stage	the	fake	kidnapping	.	of	course	,	everything	that	could	go	wrong	does	.	the	first	forty	five	minutes	of	screwed	is	harmless	entertainment	a	guilty	pleasure	that	should	be	enjoyably	bad	.	but	the	convoluted	script	eventually	builds	into	a	disaster	that	is	impossible	to	bear	.	the	more	idiotic	these	characters	get	,	the	more	reckless	the	script	becomes	.	at	one	point	,	i	wanted	to	get	out	of	my	seat	and	yell	at	these	characters	:	"	no	,	you	idiot	!	"	i'm	not	just	talking	about	willard	and	rusty	,	who	were	extremely	annoying	,	i'm	also	talking	about	the	cops	in	this	film	.	a	monkey	could	have	solved	this	case	within	an	hour	but	these	guys	(	headed	by	murder	one's	daniel	benzali	)	were	just	too	clueless	to	forgive	.	they	give	real	cops	bad	names	.	also	poor	danny	devito	apparently	does	not	know	how	to	turn	down	a	role	these	days	.	looking	almost	identical	to	his	penguin	in	batman	:	returns	,	every	time	he	appeared	on	the	screen	i	had	to	shake	my	head	in	disbelief	.	he	just	didn't	belong	in	this	movie	.	macdonald	and	chapelle	are	veterans	at	these	kinds	of	movies	but	devito	made	the	film	much	worse	than	it	already	was	,	gross	out	humor	is	certainly	not	his	forte	.	if	you're	a	fan	of	norm	macdonald's	other	chaotic	comedy	,	dirty	work	,	you	might	actually	love	this	near	sequel	.	otherwise	,	don't	get	screwed	out	of	your	hard	earned	money	.
neg	after	enduring	mariah	carey's	film	debut	,	glitter	,	i'm	reminded	of	a	bit	from	chris	rock's	bigger	and	blacker	.	in	response	to	women	saying	that	they	can	raise	a	child	without	a	man	,	rock	says	,	"	you	can	drive	a	car	with	your	feet	,	but	that	don't	mean	it	should	be	done	.	"	to	that	i	say	,	you	can	give	mariah	carey	a	movie	,	but	that	certainly	don't	mean	it	should	be	done	.	sure	,	there	are	plenty	of	pop	star	film	vehicles	out	there	from	the	beatles'	a	hard	day's	night	to	the	spice	girls'	spice	world	but	none	have	been	so	vapidly	pointless	or	laughable	as	glitter	.	everything	about	this	complete	tripe	is	ludicrous	.	start	off	with	the	story	,	which	as	gruesomely	predictable	as	it	is	is	the	least	offensive	part	of	the	movie	.	the	film	is	inexplicably	set	in	the	80s	,	a	period	piece	that	really	shows	no	sign	of	its	period	except	for	a	few	chicks	in	leg	warmers	.	worse	yet	,	everyone's	speaking	late	90s	hip	hop	slang	in	what	should	be	1983	.	meant	to	be	partially	autobiographical	,	carey	plays	billie	frank	,	a	young	singer	in	new	york	who	struggles	to	overcome	a	rough	childhood	and	abandonment	by	her	alcoholic	mother	.	influential	club	dj	julian	dice	,	a	.	k	.	a	.	"	lucky	7	"	(	max	beesley	playing	a	bad	mix	of	puff	daddy	and	robert	de	niro	)	,	hears	her	sing	on	a	track	,	and	decides	to	make	her	a	star	.	in	predictably	rapid	succession	,	billie	and	dice	fall	for	each	other	,	she	starts	hitting	it	big	,	dice	gets	jealous	and	starts	acting	like	an	ass	,	and	suddenly	billie's	on	"	the	roller	coaster	of	superstardom	.	"	in	the	meantime	,	billie	is	on	an	emotional	hunt	for	her	missing	mom	.	i	won't	give	away	the	ending	,	but	honestly	just	think	of	unicorns	and	rainbows	.	.	.	you'll	figure	it	out	.	the	movie	screams	to	be	made	with	camp	,	and	that	could've	been	fun	.	but	the	filmmakers	thought	making	the	bulk	of	glitter	weepy	and	dramatic	would	be	better	.	what	a	mistake	.	the	brief	attempts	at	comic	relief	as	in	a	scene	where	an	effeminate	russian	sounding	director	gets	wacky	with	filming	billie's	first	music	video	go	over	like	lead	balloons	.	instead	,	the	audience	at	my	screening	tended	to	laugh	loudest	during	mariah's	most	dramatic	scenes	.	which	brings	us	to	the	performances	,	of	which	there's	nothing	good	that	can	be	said	.	mariah	is	primarily	seen	with	a	wide	eyed	deer	in	the	headlights	look	frozen	on	her	face	.	she	actually	looks	scared	during	her	one	love	scene	.	but	you	have	to	wonder	if	the	writing	isn't	even	worse	.	so	much	of	the	dialogue	is	so	hackneyed	and	watered	down	for	carey's	virginal	target	audience	that	it's	probably	impossible	for	any	actor	to	pull	it	off	with	aplomb	.	even	the	characters	couldn't	have	been	written	more	absurdly	.	they're	all	members	of	a	barbie	playset	:	the	important	film	director	who	swoons	,	"	billie	,	i'd	love	to	put	you	in	a	movie	i'm	making	,	"	and	the	big	time	record	executive	who	takes	billie's	demo	tape	and	says	,	"	oh	,	i'll	make	sure	the	whole	team	listens	to	it	in	the	morning	.	"	everyone	in	the	film	is	a	device	,	and	it's	painful	to	keep	watching	just	to	see	another	one	appear	.	to	say	more	would	be	a	waste	.	there's	so	much	wrong	with	this	film	.	and	,	it	pains	me	that	mariah	carey	with	her	ego	and	sanity	in	such	fragile	condition	these	days	,	as	evidenced	by	her	multiple	hospital	stays	will	have	to	suffer	through	all	the	negative	reviews	she's	likely	to	get	.	but	,	then	again	,	i	had	to	suffer	through	her	movie	.
neg	here's	a	rarity	:	a	children's	film	that	attempts	to	tackle	a	weighty	subject	,	is	there	a	god	?	done	well	,	it	could	have	been	a	gem	among	the	wasteland	of	modern	children's	cinema	.	unfortunately	,	it	isn't	.	with	jumbled	messages	,	and	an	unclear	audience	,	wide	awake	was	better	left	asleep	.	fifth	grader	joshua	beal	(	joseph	cross	)	is	in	the	middle	of	a	moral	crisis	.	his	beloved	grandfather	(	robert	loggia	)	has	died	,	and	joshua	has	begun	a	quest	.	he	wants	to	find	god	,	to	discover	why	bad	things	happen	.	this	religious	quest	is	slightly	disturbing	for	his	parents	(	dana	delany	and	denis	leary	)	,	but	they	do	their	best	to	cope	with	their	son	as	he	explores	different	religious	faiths	.	at	his	catholic	school	,	his	favorite	teacher	,	sister	terry	(	rosie	o'donnell	)	,	tries	to	give	him	guidance	,	but	this	is	a	journey	he	must	make	on	his	own	.	meanwhile	,	he	is	having	the	most	momentous	year	of	his	life	.	he	has	several	adventures	with	his	daredevil	best	friend	dave	(	timothy	reifsnyder	)	,	he	gets	his	first	crush	,	and	begins	to	wake	up	to	the	world	around	him	while	he	is	on	his	spiritual	journey	.	it	is	somewhat	confusing	as	to	what	the	real	audience	for	wide	awake	is	expected	to	be	.	on	its	surface	,	it	appears	to	be	a	kid's	film	.	however	,	it	deals	with	serious	issues	,	and	is	likely	to	be	boring	for	today's	instant	gratification	kids	.	and	while	it	might	seem	heartening	to	see	that	someone	is	trying	to	produce	something	thoughtful	for	the	kidvid	audience	,	wide	awake	asks	serious	questions	,	but	only	delivers	a	cheap	gimmick	for	an	answer	.	if	there	were	a	bit	more	meat	in	the	story	,	adults	on	a	nostalgic	bent	might	get	a	kick	out	of	the	movie	.	the	actors	who	might	have	created	a	great	cast	(	o'donnell	,	leary	and	delany	)	are	wasted	in	roles	that	amount	to	little	more	than	cameos	.	the	nostalgic	elements	(	best	friend	,	favorite	teacher	,	first	crush	,	etc	.	)	have	been	done	much	better	in	other	movies	,	and	actually	seem	more	like	filler	here	.	the	film's	strongest	scenes	are	some	touching	flashbacks	depicting	joshua's	relationship	with	his	grandfather	.	they	show	more	depth	than	is	present	anywhere	else	in	the	movie	.	maybe	the	film	would	have	been	better	if	,	instead	of	playing	the	relationship	through	flashbacks	,	it	were	set	entirely	during	joshua's	last	year	with	his	grandpa	.	it	certainly	would	have	been	more	entertaining	.	wide	awake	can	best	be	described	as	a	failed	experiment	.	it	starts	out	with	noble	aspirations	,	but	never	delivers	on	its	promise	.	parents	who	do	take	their	children	to	see	this	one	ought	to	be	prepared	to	answer	some	tough	questions	.	.	.	that	is	if	their	kids	aren't	bored	to	death	first	.
neg	starring	:	tommy	lee	jones	(	sam	gerard	)	,	wesley	snipes	(	various	character	names	)	,	joe	pantoliano	(	cosmo	renfro	)	,	robert	downey	jr	.	(	john	royce	)	,	irne	jacob	(	marie	)	,	tom	wood	(	noah	newman	)	,	daniel	roebuck	(	biggs	)	,	kate	nelligan	(	walsh	)	directed	by	:	stuart	baird	,	written	by	:	john	poguerated	pg	13	by	the	mpaa	for	violence	,	gore	,	and	strong	languagei'll	lay	out	the	basics	first	.	sam	gerard	,	the	chief	deputy	u	.	s	.	marshal	from	the	fugitive	(	1993	)	,	and	his	team	of	crack	deputies	,	are	back	.	another	man	has	fled	from	the	clutches	of	the	state	,	and	gerard	must	chase	this	new	fugitive	down	.	but	what's	the	story	this	time	?	why	is	he	running	?	did	he	do	what	he	was	accused	?	if	not	,	who	did	?	who's	doing	the	cover	up	?	why	?	and	so	on	.	all	the	stuff	you	love	from	your	traditional	action	suspense	mystery	flicks	,	but	with	better	characters	(	especially	jones'	oscar	winning	gerard	role	)	and	better	action	set	pieces	,	pushing	it	into	the	above	average	fun	film	range	.	plus	,	it's	a	warner	bros	.	film	,	and	everyone	knows	that	ever	since	about	1994	,	it's	been	a	red	letter	day	any	time	that	warner	has	actually	released	a	good	film	.	'97	was	their	best	run	in	a	while	,	what	with	contact	,	rosewood	,	and	l	.	a	.	confidential	.	maybe	things	will	look	up	for	them	this	year	.	now	then	.	.	.	i've	never	felt	the	need	to	adress	what	other	critics	have	thought	of	a	movie	before	,	but	this	time	,	i'm	afraid	i	must	.	it's	just	that	this	time	,	i've	read	a	number	of	reviews	with	differing	opinions	,	but	many	of	them	made	various	statements	that	left	me	with	one	vital	question	:	what	movie	did	these	people	see	?	i'm	not	talking	about	disagreeing	with	their	opinions	.	i'm	talking	things	that	seem	to	be	factual	,	and	yet	,	also	just	seem	.	.	.	well	,	wrong	.	i	guess	some	of	these	could	be	taken	as	opinions	.	regardless	,	i	have	no	idea	where	anyone	could	get	these	impressions	.	i'll	just	ramble	them	off	for	you	,	to	give	you	an	impression	of	what	i'm	getting	at	here	.	the	following	statements	,	made	by	a	number	of	unrelated	,	anonymous	film	critics	,	appear	to	be	nothing	short	of	,	well	,	false	:	1	)	u	.	s	.	marshals	is	nothing	more	than	a	copy	of	the	the	fugitive	.
neg	the	haunting	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	haunting	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	haunting	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	lili	taylor	,	liam	neeson	,	catherine	zeta	jones	,	owen	wilson	screenplay	by	david	self	,	based	on	the	haunting	of	hill	house	by	shirley	jackson	directed	by	jan	de	bont	"	some	houses	are	born	bad	,	"	goes	the	haunting's	tag	line	,	to	which	i	must	add	,	"	some	movies	,	too	.	"	nothing	short	of	hiring	a	new	cast	,	a	more	literate	screenwriter	,	and	a	new	director	could	have	saved	this	tragically	misguided	adaptation	of	jackson's	meritorious	novel	.	the	haunting	is	late	entry	summer	dreck	too	slick	to	be	creepy	,	and	its	seemingly	endless	stream	of	digital	trickery	and	spooky	ooky	sound	effects	don't	frighten	so	much	as	numb	the	audience	into	submission	the	film	is	like	a	rube	goldberg	contraption	rigged	to	shout	"	boo	.	"	fragile	nell	(	taylor	)	,	bisexual	theo	(	zeta	jones	)	,	and	smiley	luke	(	wilson	)	are	three	insomniacs	who	gather	at	the	reputedly	possessed	hill	house	for	an	extended	study	on	sleep	disorders	,	hosted	by	professor	marrow	(	neeson	)	.	marrow's	secretly	gathering	data	on	their	respective	paranoid	responses	to	his	recount	of	hill	house's	bleak	history	.	he's	not	prepared	for	the	very	real	apparitions	that	terrorize	the	crew	,	nell	especially	,	who	has	some	ancestral	connection	to	the	manor's	previous	inhabitants	.	taylor	is	thoroughly	insufferable	in	her	first	big	budget	lead	.	for	starters	,	her	consistently	dour	expression	sucks	the	life	out	of	even	the	early	scenes	,	when	we're	introduced	to	the	mansion	and	all	its	fun	house	trappings	.	her	character	is	supposed	to	be	depressed	,	having	tended	to	an	unloving	mother	for	too	many	years	,	but	taylor	plays	nell	as	supernaturally	lame	,	alternately	grouchy	,	mopey	,	wiggy	and	pathetic	,	and	i	kept	wondering	why	the	other	characters	didn't	just	ditch	this	bitch	.	as	for	the	obscenely	photogenic	zeta	jones	,	she	breezes	through	her	scenes	with	a	wink	and	a	smile	and	takes	the	scenery	with	her	.	unfortunately	,	she's	saddled	with	some	of	the	most	unlikely	dialogue	the	screenplay	has	to	offer	.	theo's	assessment	of	the	house	?	"	i	love	it	!	sort	of	charles	foster	kane	meets	the	munsters	.	"	who	on	earth	would	say	that	in	place	of	"	citizen	kane	meets	the	munsters	"	?	(	furthermore	,	would	you	gladly	spend	a	single	night	in	a	house	befitting	that	description	?	)	both	actresses	fare	better	than	neeson	,	who	looks	embarrassed	to	be	a	part	of	this	ensemble	(	and	for	good	reason	)	,	and	his	character	is	the	most	bland	.	as	luke	puts	it	,	dr	.	marrow	pulls	the	old	"	academic	bait	and	switch	"	on	his	subjects	,	but	he	breaks	down	and	confesses	to	this	the	second	he's	accused	.	later	,	he	risks	his	life	by	climbing	a	crumbling	stairwell	to	save	nell	(	it's	amusing	to	hear	neeson	shout	"	nell	"	repeatedly	,	given	his	starring	role	in	the	1994	jodie	foster	vehicle	of	the	same	name	)	.	why	was	this	nice	,	helpful	,	and	redemptive	researcher	so	absent	of	ethics	at	the	start	?	the	haunting	was	well	designed	by	eugenio	zanetti	.	his	sets	are	obsessively	detailed	,	and	even	before	the	cgi	kicks	in	,	they	seem	alive	,	never	quite	still	.	i	do	have	one	beef	with	this	aspect	of	the	production	:	the	real	life	mansion	used	in	exterior	shots	,	nottinghamshire's	harlaxton	manor	,	is	so	vast	that	one	has	trouble	believing	that	nell	and	company	,	no	matter	how	much	running	away	they	do	from	ghosts	and	goblins	,	always	finish	up	in	locations	that	were	established	in	act	one	,	as	if	all	the	action	has	been	confined	to	one	wing	of	hill	house	.	eighty	million	dollars	was	spent	on	the	haunting	,	and	despite	a	powerhouse	box	office	debut	,	i	doubt	it	will	recoup	its	costs	(	including	marketing	)	domestically	.	thank	jan	de	bont	for	that	:	proving	for	the	third	time	that	speed	was	a	fluke	,	in	that	it	was	actually	enjoyable	,	de	bont	has	served	up	another	ride	,	sans	thrill	.	his	images	,	well	lit	though	they	are	,	have	an	unmistakable	been	there	done	that	quality	;	in	fact	,	whole	sequences	,	not	to	mention	the	cloaked	,	airy	ghoul	who	owns	the	climax	,	feel	lifted	from	a	much	smarter	and	infinitely	more	enjoyable	spectacle	from	three	summers	back	,	peter	jackson's	the	frighteners	.	i	don't	mean	to	suggest	de	bont	is	a	plagiarist	,	i	mean	to	suggest	that	he's	a	hack	,	having	found	no	new	ways	to	give	us	chills	.
neg	in	brief	:	i	think	your	response	to	the	good	son	will	depend	on	your	response	to	the	question	of	evil	.	i	found	the	film	excellent	and	disturbing	.	i	was	uncomfortable	throughout	.	it	focuses	on	one	thing	evil	and	tries	to	look	at	it	on	its	own	terms	,	barring	any	easy	ways	out	.	most	of	our	profs	would	have	said	that	evil	is	really	ignorance	,	or	bad	reasoning	,	or	blindness	,	or	unchecked	emotionalism	,	or	the	result	of	a	bad	environment	,	a	terrible	childhood	,	some	traumatic	event	,	etc	.	,	etc	.	,	etc	.	if	you	think	that	,	then	the	good	son	might	be	a	nice	little	thriller	for	you	,	but	maybe	a	little	too	low	key	,	too	bland	.	if	,	further	,	you	think	that	it's	preposterous	that	a	kid	could	really	be	evil	,	then	the	film	will	be	still	harder	to	take	.	but	what	if	evil	is	a	real	moral	stance	,	a	live	threat	in	human	affairs	?	what	if	it	is	,	or	can	be	,	a	decision	?	what	if	it's	something	that	can	never	be	completely	removed	by	education	or	compassion	or	prosperity	,	etc	.	,	etc	.	,	etc	.	?	(	which	is	what	some	of	our	old	line	thomist	and	calvinist	profs	warned	us	.	)	to	the	extent	you	think	that	or	at	least	can	enter	into	the	mindset	then	the	good	son	will	be	a	disturbing	analysis	of	evil	.	even	if	it	shows	its	origin	in	the	genre	of	the	thriller	,	its	main	action	will	be	a	confrontation	with	genuine	evil	in	an	apparently	cheerful	,	appealing	kid	.
neg	(	out	of	4	poor	)	1995	,	g	,	90	minutes	1	hour	,	30	minutes	comedy	starring	:	michael	roescher	(	hank	royce	)	,	kristy	young	(	jinnie	sue	macallister	)	,	justin	garms	(	voice	of	gordy	)	,	james	donadio	(	gilbert	sipes	)	,	written	by	leslie	stevens	,	jay	sommers	,	dick	chevillat	,	produced	by	sybil	robson	,	directed	by	mark	lewis	.	"	gordy	"	is	not	a	movie	,	it	is	a	90	minute	long	"	sesame	street	"	skit	,	and	a	very	bad	one	at	that	.	this	movie	is	so	stupid	and	dumb	that	it's	depressing	to	think	that	some	hollywood	executives	actually	gave	this	the	green	light	,	and	even	more	surprising	is	the	fact	that	this	is	a	disney	movie	.	i'm	sure	children	are	the	target	audience	of	this	movie	,	but	only	kids	under	the	age	of	five	may	be	able	to	tolerate	it	.	it	is	the	story	of	a	farm	a	piglet	named	gordy	(	voiced	by	garms	)	,	whose	family	has	been	taken	away	to	"	up	north	,	"	which	we	know	means	death	.	of	course	we	can	hear	the	animals	talk	to	each	other	,	and	they	actually	went	to	the	trouble	of	attempting	to	sync	the	voices	with	their	mouths	but	it	comes	out	terrible	.	actually	,	it's	almost	funny	in	a	way	.	the	only	remotely	interesting	and	likable	character	soon	appears	,	a	little	girl	named	jinnie	sue	macallister	(	young	)	who	sees	gordy	on	the	back	of	a	truck	and	essentially	steals	him	.	jinnie	is	a	country	singer	and	the	film	goes	off	on	a	huge	tangent	to	show	her	little	concert	and	the	people	dancing	to	it	.	what	is	the	point	of	this	?	maybe	she	is	one	of	the	producer's	relatives	and	they	wanted	to	show	her	on	camera	to	promote	her	or	something	.	we	then	cut	to	a	huge	social	gathering	and	drop	in	on	another	young	kid	named	hank	royce	(	roescher	)	who	is	sad	because	his	divorced	mother	is	dating	.	he	leaves	the	party	and	meets	jinnie	sue	,	but	he	accidentally	falls	in	a	pool	(	probably	because	he	was	sitting	on	the	diving	board	with	a	200	suit	on	nah	,	didn't	see	that	one	coming	!	)	,	starts	to	drown	,	and	is	miraculously	saved	as	gordy	pushes	an	inflatable	float	over	to	him	and	saves	him	.	if	this	had	not	been	insanely	stupid	already	the	story	quickly	changes	when	jinnie	gives	gordy	to	hank	who	then	ends	up	becoming	the	ceo	of	a	food	processing	corporation	when	hank's	grandfather	,	the	original	ceo	,	dies	and	leaves	his	fortune	to	hank	.	.	.	and	gordy	!	of	course	there	must	be	a	villain	,	but	even	this	villain	(	donadio	as	sipes	)	isn't	that	evil	.	he	never	raises	his	voice	or	becomes	angry	,	and	of	course	he	has	the	typical	idiot	goons	kidnap	gordy	but	this	is	just	so	beyond	stupid	and	cartoony	we	are	constantly	two	steps	ahead	of	the	story	.	it's	hard	to	tell	whether	the	overall	corniness	and	cheesiness	to	the	movie	is	intentional	because	it	is	a	family	film	,	or	if	the	filmmaker's	are	just	this	untalented	and	stupid	.	at	times	"	gordy	"	is	tolerable	to	watch	,	thus	earning	it	one	star	and	not	the	dreaded	"	z	.	"	but	it's	just	so	unbelievably	boring	,	cliche	,	dumb	,	unfunny	,	corny	,	and	just	plain	bad	it	may	scare	children	,	it	certainly	disturbed	me	.	(	4	21	96	)	(	1	29	97	)	(	6	13	97	)	see	also	:	"	babe	"	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	index	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	index	.	html	a
neg	directed	by	:	john	ottman	written	by	:	paul	harris	boardman	and	paul	harris	boardman	cast	:	jennifer	morrison	,	matthew	davis	,	hart	bochner	,	loretta	devine	mpaa	:	rated	r	for	violence	gore	,	language	and	some	sexuality	"	have	you	ever	heard	the	one	about	a	movie	so	bad	that	it	made	a	guy	run	out	of	the	theatre	screaming	?	"	obviously	the	producers	at	columbia	tristar	did	not	think	that	we	suffered	enough	from	the	first	installment	,	and	so	to	finish	us	utterly	,	they	have	now	released	"	urban	legends	:	final	cut	"	.	this	is	another	"	scream	"	like	feature	,	consisting	merely	from	the	recycled	materials	of	rip	offs	from	the	most	pointless	movies	of	all	time	.	amy	(	jennifer	morrison	)	is	a	film	student	who	is	attending	a	film	school	filled	with	uninspired	film	students	who	do	not	have	a	clue	about	what	to	do	.	but	just	as	she	reaches	the	halfway	mark	of	her	final	semester	at	prestigious	university's	film	program	where	each	year's	best	thesis	production	takes	the	coveted	hitchcock	prize	,	a	virtual	one	way	ticket	to	hollywood	success	she	has	a	chance	encounter	with	campus	security	guard	reese	(	loretta	devine	)	,	whose	tale	of	a	series	of	murders	based	on	urban	legends	at	another	university	inspires	amy	to	try	her	hand	at	a	fictional	thriller	organized	along	similar	lines	.	soon	enough	,	fake	and	real	blood	starts	to	flow	,	and	amy	is	being	chased	around	by	scary	killer	,	while	her	cast	and	crew	get	slain	,	one	by	one	.	is	the	culprit	the	original	urban	legends	murderer	,	just	some	random	psycho	,	!	a	member	of	the	faculty	,	one	of	her	competitors	for	the	hitchcock	,	or	is	there	something	even	more	stupid	going	on	?	this	is	another	one	of	those	tiring	,	pointless	teen	slasher	flicks	:	neither	scary	,	funny	,	or	interesting	.	it	simply	lacks	the	ability	and	the	story	to	entertain	.	the	body	counts	and	screams	continue	to	grow	,	as	the	weak	level	of	intelligence	sinks	rapidly	.	in	fact	watching	films	like	that	after	having	watched	"	scary	movie	"	is	impossible	keeping	a	serious	face	.	several	times	i	tried	to	prevent	myself	from	laughing	,	without	succeeding	.	and	then	i	realized	that	practically	the	whole	theatre	was	laughing	.	it's	the	same	thing	that	has	been	told	and	told	and	told	over	and	over	again	as	if	it	was	the	revelation	of	the	century	.	how	many	times	must	we	tolerate	the	same	clichs	that	have	haunted	the	slasher	genre	since	its	birth	?	it	has	been	so	many	films	about	masked	killers	that	most	of	us	have	developed	an	allergy	for	them	.	they	are	the	most	stupid	,	meaningless	,	predictable	and	soulless	films	in	existence	.	however	,	director	john	ottman	manages	to	make	"	urban	legends	:	final	cut	"	into	one	of	the	worst	achievements	of	this	godforsaken	genre	.	what	was	done	with	a	sense	of	redemption	for	past	failures	and	irony	in	"	scream	"	,	ottman	takes	seriously	.	for	that	reason	alone	,	it	is	worth	a	look	,	just	to	realize	how	bad	a	movie	can	be	.	it's	tough	to	find	comparisons	for	such	an	achievement	,	and	we	have	to	dig	in	ancient	history	to	find	a	movie	that	would	match	its	intellect	.	even	movies	like	"	lost	in	space	"	and	"	mission	to	mars	"	seem	spectacular	in	its	shadow	.	we	have	not	seen	such	waste	of	t	!	ime	and	resources	since	"	showgirls	"	(	1995	)	.	no	matter	how	hard	i	tried	to	find	positive	elements	in	this	so	called	production	,	i	came	up	with	nothing	,	except	the	way	the	killer	was	dressed	.	here	i	feel	that	i	have	to	compliment	the	costume	designers	trysha	bakker	and	marie	sylvie	deveu	,	that	have	wisely	replaced	the	well	known	scream	mask	with	a	very	elegant	fencing	mask	.	jennifer	morrison	(	"	stir	of	echoes	"	)	is	all	right	,	and	the	other	actors'	best	achievement	is	keeping	a	straight	face	when	pronouncing	the	words	from	the	script	.	in	fact	the	only	thing	that	is	terrifying	about	this	film	(	with	the	exception	of	its	screenplay	)	is	its	portray	of	film	schools	.	if	these	graduates	will	be	the	directors	of	the	future	,	then	hollywood's	golden	days	are	over	.	rumors	are	already	spreading	through	the	internet	that	columbia	tristar	is	already	developing	a	third	installment	.	let's	just	hope	and	pray	that	it's	just	an	urban	legend	.
neg	birthdays	often	cause	individuals	to	access	their	lives	.	are	we	doing	what	we	want	to	be	doing	?	what	happened	to	our	dreams	?	with	the	new	millennium	,	our	collective	big	birthday	,	just	around	the	corner	,	some	people	are	sensing	a	certain	dissatisfaction	with	their	existence	.	the	old	standbys	of	traditional	religion	and	science	aren't	doing	it	for	many	anymore	and	they're	looking	for	something	else	.	we'll	be	seeing	more	and	more	films	with	a	metaphysical	theme	over	the	next	few	years	.	ricky	hayman	(	jeff	goldblum	)	is	having	a	career	crisis	.	the	programming	director	for	the	good	buy	home	shopping	network	,	he's	going	to	be	fired	unless	sales	increase	dramatically	.	new	producer	kate	newell	(	kelly	preston	)	is	supposed	to	whip	things	into	shape	.	when	the	two	are	fixing	a	flat	,	they	almost	run	down	new	age	pilgrim	"	g	"	(	murphy	)	.	g	wanders	onto	the	television	set	and	connects	with	the	viewers	by	telling	them	that	they	don't	really	want	all	that	commercial	crap	.	in	some	unexplained	manner	,	this	causes	sales	to	sour	.	ricky	is	saved	.	the	movie	tries	to	be	too	much	at	once	and	fails	at	it	all	.	it's	not	an	over	the	top	comedy	or	a	heart	warming	message	of	humanity	.	it	_	is	_	a	mish	mosh	of	poorly	directed	scenes	made	even	worse	by	insipid	dialog	.	i	am	willing	to	put	up	with	preaching	from	a	film	,	but	the	messages	here	are	old	hat	.	you	should	take	time	to	smell	the	roses	.	selling	your	soul	for	cash	is	a	bad	idea	.	golly	.	i'm	glad	i	saw	the	movie	.	i	never	would	have	thought	of	these	.	the	opportunity	to	poke	fun	at	the	goofy	products	is	mostly	missed	.	when	g	takes	a	chainsaw	to	the	set	,	there's	an	obvious	chance	for	murphy	to	be	hilarious	.	it	doesn't	happen	.	the	bits	are	so	subdued	and	overly	long	that	there's	only	a	hint	of	laughter	from	the	audience	.	murphy	has	changed	his	roles	in	recent	years	and	not	for	the	better	.	there	are	hints	of	promise	in	this	one	.	the	only	time	the	film	picks	up	even	a	little	is	when	his	shaved	headed	character	in	the	long	flowing	white	caftan	shows	up	on	screen	.	the	others	are	horrendous	.	goldblum	has	episodes	of	brilliance	in	his	career	,	but	here	he	seems	to	have	been	replaced	with	a	lifeless	pod	from	his	"	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	"	.	his	relationship	with	kate	makes	no	sense	.	they	move	from	antagonism	to	love	somewhere	off	screen	.	preston	is	as	uninteresting	as	she	could	possibly	be	.	somewhere	hidden	deep	inside	of	this	film	is	about	ten	minutes	of	value	.	an	attempt	to	satirize	stupid	television	,	we	get	a	self	parody	instead	.	this	appeared	in	the	10	15	98	"	bloomington	independent	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	.	"	redman	indepen	.	com	.	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indepen	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	indepen	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	running	time	:	1	hour	35	minutes	starring	kurt	russell	,	j	.	t	walsh	and	kathleen	quinlan	directed	by	jonathan	mostow	breakdown	is	an	moderately	entertaining	,	if	underwhelming	,	thriller	.	kurt	russell	and	kathleen	quinlan	play	couple	jeff	and	amy	taylor	,	taking	the	scenic	route	to	california	through	redneck	country	.	however	,	while	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	,	their	jeep	decides	to	break	down	,	leaving	them	stranded	.	a	friendly	truck	driver	,	warren	(	walsh	)	,	offers	to	give	them	a	lift	to	town	.	although	jeff	rejects	the	offer	(	he	wants	to	stay	with	his	car	)	,	amy	agrees	,	hops	into	warren's	lorry	,	and	promptly	disappears	.	jeff	wonders	where	the	hell	she	is	,	and	when	he	later	catches	up	with	warren	and	warren	says	he	has	never	seen	amy	in	his	life	,	the	plot	thickens	and	jeff	goes	on	a	chase	to	find	his	wife	.	although	comparisons	can	be	made	with	this	film	to	deliverance	(	1972	)	and	the	vanishing	(	1993	)	plot	wise	,	the	latter	two	are	far	superior	character	and	script	wise	.	kurt	russell	is	o	.	k	as	jeff	,	although	he	can	seemingly	only	pull	of	one	expression	,	which	is	angry	.	throughout	the	whole	film	,	he	looks	angry	(	or	just	pissed	off	.	)	quinlan	is	o	.	k	again	,	but	again	she	can	only	pull	off	one	expression	,	which	is	looking	dorky	.	throughout	the	whole	film	,	she	looks	dorky	.	j	.	t	walsh	(	who	,	sadly	,	recently	passed	away	)	is	fine	as	warren	(	who	we	soon	find	out	is	a	kidnapper	)	although	his	actual	character	is	pretty	weak	,	and	not	really	menacing	enough	.	the	supporting	cast	do	their	best	aswell	,	with	rex	linn	as	a	doubting	sheriff	,	and	the	other	kidnappers	.	the	story	,	written	by	first	timer	jonathan	mostow	(	who	also	directs	)	is	o	.	k	,	if	surprisingly	familiar	and	sometimes	extraordinarily	stupid	.	some	of	the	things	the	characters	do	in	this	movie	is	beyond	the	bounds	of	idiocy	.	there	are	some	flaws	with	the	plot	also	,	as	the	characters	do	the	complete	opposite	to	logical	(	presumably	to	keep	the	story	'exciting'	)	and	also	the	fact	that	the	story	just	isn't	strong	enough	to	sustain	the	audience's	attention	.	the	picture	moves	along	very	slowly	also	.	it	almost	threatens	to	drop	dead	.	the	picture	does	pick	up	towards	the	end	,	but	by	then	it's	too	late	.	mostow	directs	the	action	sequences	well	enough	,	however	.	the	film	doesn't	really	come	to	a	satisfying	conclusion	,	either	.	the	ending	tries	to	be	bleak	,	but	just	comes	off	annoying	.	breakdown	could	of	been	a	far	more	enjoyable	picture	had	it	had	a	stronger	cast	and	director	.	instead	,	it	just	turns	out	to	be	merely	average	.	a	missed	opportunity	.	overall	rating	out	of	review	by	david	wilcock	david	wilcock	a	href	"	mailto	:	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	"	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	a	visit	the	wilcock	movie	page	!	a	href	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	a	recieve	wilcock	movie	page	reviews	via	e	mail	send	a	blank	e	mail	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	"	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	a	to	join	the	mailing	list	!
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	columbia	tristar	on	24	march	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	125	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	james	mangold	;	produced	by	cathy	konrad	,	douglas	wick	.	written	by	lisa	loomer	,	james	mangold	,	anna	hamilton	phelan	;	based	on	the	book	by	susanna	kaysen	.	photographed	by	jack	green	;	edited	by	kevin	tent	.	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	argues	that	mental	institutions	keep	the	sane	and	release	the	unstable	,	because	of	stuffy	procedures	and	restrictive	rules	written	by	bureaucratic	doctors	disconnected	from	reality	.	while	i	am	sure	these	things	are	true	,	the	film	never	makes	us	care	,	because	its	heroine	is	a	bitchy	little	nut	job	.	"	haven't	you	ever	confused	a	dream	with	reality	,	stolen	something	when	you	had	the	cash	,	or	thought	your	train	moving	as	it	sat	in	the	station	?	"	she	pleads	with	us	in	the	opening	scenes	.	but	that's	not	the	kind	of	behaviour	she's	being	locked	up	for	.	this	is	a	young	lady	who	responds	"	what	?	"	whenever	anyone	asks	her	a	question	,	drifts	into	daydreaming	in	the	middle	of	sentences	and	thinks	it's	perfectly	acceptable	to	guzzle	great	quantities	of	pills	and	vodka	.	her	name	is	susanna	kaysen	,	a	real	life	figure	whose	book	this	movie	is	based	on	.	if	the	film	is	anything	to	go	by	,	i'm	lucky	that	i	never	read	it	.	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	is	a	pathetic	example	of	someone	denying	she's	in	denial	;	it's	as	stupid	as	sylvia	plath's	"	the	bell	jar	"	without	the	engaging	style	.	there	are	journal	entries	in	the	film	we're	supposed	to	accept	as	profound	philosophising	.	most	of	them	are	just	the	kind	of	pretentious	stream	of	consciousness	drivel	that	many	teenage	girls	write	,	only	to	look	back	on	years	later	and	cringe	with	embarrassment	.	the	story	is	set	in	the	1960s	boys	are	being	shipped	to	their	deaths	in	vietnam	,	and	susanna	(	winona	ryder	)	thinks	she's	got	a	hard	life	because	her	mother	is	hassling	her	about	going	to	college	.	after	a	suicide	attempt	,	she	is	encouraged	to	sign	herself	into	claymoore	,	an	expensive	mental	hospital	where	the	head	nurse	(	whoopi	goldberg	)	gives	a	straightforwardly	accurate	diagnosis	:	"	you	are	a	lazy	,	self	indulgent	little	girl	who	is	driving	herself	crazy	.	"	susanna	does	a	lot	of	mellow	lying	around	,	drunk	on	her	own	superiority	,	convinced	she's	"	artistic	"	rather	than	crazy	.	fellow	inmate	lisa	(	angelina	jolie	)	offers	her	support	,	probably	because	the	two	women	have	the	same	problem	thinking	they	know	the	secrets	of	the	universe	,	when	they're	actually	defective	jerks	.	other	friendly	faces	include	a	pathological	liar	(	clea	duvall	)	and	a	girl	who	likes	to	set	herself	on	fire	(	elisabeth	moss	)	.	anyone	in	a	position	of	authority	,	or	who	displays	the	least	bit	of	conventionality	,	is	portrayed	as	an	uptight	white	collar	conservative	square	.	i	am	reminded	of	"	reality	bites	"	(	1994	)	,	another	film	starring	ryder	in	which	the	alleged	heroes	were	self	obsessed	layabout	losers	.	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	is	moronic	and	arrogant	crap	,	not	least	because	its	obnoxious	onscreen	behaviour	is	accompanied	by	a	voice	over	that	asks	,	essentially	,	"	can	you	believe	these	stuffed	shirts	thought	i	was	obnoxious	?	"	perhaps	the	book	or	true	events	would	lead	me	to	a	different	conclusion	,	but	the	susanna	kaysen	of	this	film	could	use	a	good	hard	slap	in	the	face	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantganiplease	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	some	movies	,	while	not	totally	bad	,	just	piss	me	off	.	roger	kumble's	lame	excuse	for	a	drama	cruel	intentions	fits	perfectly	into	this	category	.	loosely	based	on	the	famous	novel	"	les	liaisons	dangereuses	"	,	"	intentions	"	tells	the	story	of	sebastian	and	kathryn	valmont	,	two	wealthy	new	york	step	siblings	who	are	the	cause	of	lots	of	damage	.	sebastian	(	ryan	phillippe	)	has	a	reputation	of	promising	women	the	world	to	get	them	in	bed	,	and	then	dumping	them	.	kathryn	(	sarah	michelle	gellar	)	,	equally	evil	but	more	inconspicuous	,	is	also	manipulative	,	in	the	way	that	she	helps	out	with	sebastian's	games	.	in	the	first	of	many	plot	contrivations	,	kathryn	bets	her	brother	that	he	cannot	devirginize	annette	(	reese	witherspoon	,	phillippe's	real	life	girlfriend	)	,	daughter	of	their	new	school	headmaster	and	self	proclaimed	virgin	till	marriage	.	if	kathryn	wins	,	then	she	gets	sebastian's	car	,	and	if	sebastian	wins	,	he	gets	to	bed	kathryn	,	the	one	woman	whom	he	supposedly	can't	have	.	well	,	anyway	,	although	sebastian	is	cruel	to	the	fullest	sense	of	the	word	,	annette	can't	help	but	fall	for	him	.	i	mean	,	damn	,	this	guy	is	manipulative	!	from	that	point	the	film	just	spins	way	out	of	control	,	juggling	a	subplot	featuring	a	teenager	(	selma	blair	)	also	getting	involved	in	their	schemes	.	the	movie	then	goes	for	cheap	melodrama	and	any	cliche	it	can	think	of	.	none	of	the	film's	characters	are	at	all	real	,	and	none	of	them	make	any	decisions	that	a	normal	human	would	make	.	although	many	sexual	cliches	are	added	in	just	so	that	teens	will	have	a	little	fun	,	this	film	is	another	case	where	the	trailer	is	more	fun	than	the	movie	.	i	mean	,	with	a	cast	like	this	,	the	producers	did	not	need	to	make	a	good	film	in	order	to	ensure	that	every	teenager	in	the	world	will	see	it	.	but	i	wish	they	at	least	tried	.
neg	loser	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	bill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	bill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	jason	biggs	,	mena	suvari	,	greg	kinnear	written	and	directed	by	amy	heckerling	this	review	contains	spoilers	as	with	most	of	her	films	,	director	amy	heckerling's	latest	,	loser	,	seesaws	between	unpleasant	and	artificial	,	and	is	sometimes	both	at	once	.	when	she	tackles	big	issues	,	such	as	abortion	in	fast	times	at	ridgemont	high	,	it's	impossible	to	tell	whether	she's	being	matter	of	fact	or	glib	about	them	(	they	carry	an	almost	documentary	starkness	)	,	but	whatever	the	case	,	she	continually	refuses	to	comment	politically	.	such	is	the	sitcom	tendency	of	her	work	:	to	jeopardize	the	innocence	of	her	characters	and	then	hit	the	reset	button	.	this	fear	of	drama	soured	me	on	fast	times	.	.	.	,	look	who's	talking	,	clueless	,	and	now	loser	,	in	which	ms	.	heckerling	also	demonstrates	,	for	the	first	time	,	zero	affinity	for	the	milieu	.	has	anyone	,	for	instance	,	ever	met	a	girl	in	the	stylistic	vein	of	mena	suvari's	dora	?	attired	in	black	thrift	,	her	eye	shadow	smeared	to	racoon	chic	and	her	bangy	red	hair	barely	contained	by	girlish	clips	,	she	accepts	the	label	of	goth	,	but	no	self	respecting	goth	girl	ever	admitted	to	digging	,	as	dora	does	,	those	geriatric	rockers	everclear	,	nor	willingly	went	anywhere	with	a	six	pack	wielding	fratboy	stranger	.	the	mechanics	of	loser's	tired	old	introvert	boy	falls	for	extrovert	girl	plot	drive	its	protagonists	into	cultural	non	specificity	,	so	that	they	become	even	less	than	stereotypes	.	they	become	walking	wardrobes	.	small	town	transplant	paul	(	a	strangely	static	jason	biggs	)	,	our	eponymous	hero	,	always	wears	his	woolly	hunter's	cap	with	flaps	covering	the	ears	,	and	beneath	it	rests	a	parted	moptop	that	couldn't	scream	"	shemp	"	(	the	lame	stooge	)	wig	louder	.	he	has	three	smug	looking	roommates	(	the	one	dimensional	trio	is	not	supposed	to	be	brothers	,	but	they	share	similar	facial	features	,	including	and	especially	mouths	)	,	and	their	fashion	sense	is	incomprehensibly	glam	.	though	they're	not	overtly	transvestites	,	heckerling	seems	to	be	equating	flamboyance	with	villainy	;	how	very	cruising	of	her	.	(	the	dormies	conspire	to	evict	paul	and	regularly	molest	women	they	have	drugged	.	dora	ignorantly	downs	one	of	their	date	rape	potions	.	unfortunately	,	either	heckerling	or	the	studio	is	too	cowardly	to	admit	if	she	was	subsequently	violated	.	)	when	paul	rescues	dora	from	said	narcotic	scare	,	he	learns	that	she	is	dating	their	unctuous	european	lit	professor	edward	alcott	(	superb	greg	kinnear	)	.	although	paul's	already	in	love	with	dora	by	this	point	,	as	is	bound	to	happen	to	losers	when	pretty	girls	address	them	by	name	,	he	gets	altruistic	and	pretends	the	flowers	he	bought	her	are	actually	from	alcott	.	she's	thrilled	,	but	nevertheless	spends	a	few	days	at	paul's	to	recuperate	;	the	two	bond	over	emergency	kitten	surgery	and	a	broadway	play	(	"	cabaret	"	)	,	and	just	when	paul's	got	in	his	head	that	she's	starting	to	love	him	back	in	that	non	friendly	way	,	she	decides	to	become	alcott's	live	in	girlfriend	.	cue	precious	hommage	to	the	graduate	,	shots	of	paul	drifting	around	berkeley	er	.	.	.	(	aside	:	simon	garfunkel's	"	parsley	,	sage	,	rosemary	thyme	"	should	never	have	been	allowed	in	another	motion	picture	.	)	heckerling	has	a	lot	in	common	with	nora	"	you've	got	mail	"	ephron	,	the	only	other	prominent	chick	directing	comedies	today	,	in	that	neither	has	any	use	for	strong	willed	women	.	men	continue	to	trod	on	dora	until	the	bitter	end	(	in	the	final	scene	,	she	gives	paul	a	big	smooch	after	he	blurts	out	his	feelings	in	what	amounts	to	a	creepy	ultimatum	)	,	and	dora	ultimately	shrugs	off	being	drugged	against	her	will	mere	hours	after	paul	hints	to	her	that	she	was	poisoned	,	she's	cheerily	redecorating	his	apartment	.	(	heckerling	is	so	laissez	faire	about	the	issue	in	general	that	she	reserves	the	comeuppance	of	the	would	be	rapists	for	jokey	epilogue	titles	.	)	goth	veneer	aside	,	there	are	an	awful	lot	of	girls	out	there	who	behave	as	erratically	as	dora	,	and	enough	angry	young	dude	filmmakers	to	make	movies	about	them	.	heckerling	misses	her	shot	at	having	dora	transform	herself	into	a	role	model	,	and	while	such	arcs	may	not	be	heckerling's	social	responsibility	,	it	is	a	privilege	i	would	have	taken	advantage	of	if	i	were	in	her	shoes	.	(	consider	,	too	,	that	dora	is	the	film's	sole	female	principal	.	)	not	that	loser	is	worth	contemplating	this	seriously	god	knows	heckerling	didn't	.	that	is	her	hallmark	.	(	for	more	first	run	,	dvd	,	and	books	about	movies	reviews	,	plus	contests	and	the	proverbial	"	more	!	"	,	visit	'film	freak	central	,	'	a	href	"	http	:	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	http	:	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)
neg	hush	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	(	out	of	)	tristar	1	:	32	1998	pg	13	(	language	,	violence	,	brief	nudity	,	sexuality	)	cast	:	jessica	lange	;	gwyneth	paltrow	;	johnathon	schaech	;	nina	foch	;	debi	mazar	;	hal	holbrook	;	richard	lineback	;	kaiulani	lee	director	:	johnathan	darby	screenplay	:	johnathan	darby	;	jane	rusconi	hr	call	"	hush	"	"	stop	or	my	mom	will	kill	.	"	or	"	mommy	fearest	.	"	or	"	the	hand	that	robs	the	cradle	.	"	call	it	whatever	you	want	,	but	certainly	don't	see	it	unless	you're	in	desperate	need	of	a	bad	movie	induced	chuckle	"	hush	"	scores	so	many	unintentional	guffaws	that	it	almost	qualifies	as	a	guilty	pleasure	.	chalk	its	losses	up	to	frequent	stupidity	lapses	and	apparent	post	production	tinkering	(	it	was	supposed	to	open	about	a	year	ago	)	,	the	latter	of	which	appears	to	have	given	"	hush	"	a	send	off	that's	downright	infuriating	.	it's	too	bad	that	"	hush	"	is	so	laughable	,	because	the	on	screen	talent	including	the	pairing	of	gwyneth	paltrow	and	jessica	lange	is	nothing	to	laugh	at	.	paltrow	and	johnathon	schaech	play	helen	and	jackson	,	a	photogenic	new	york	couple	on	their	way	to	spend	christmas	vacation	at	his	wealthy	,	well	to	do	family's	horse	farm	estate	kilronan	.	jackson's	mother	martha	(	lange	)	runs	kilronan	all	by	herself	,	and	her	genteel	southern	hospitality	makes	helen	feel	welcome	immediately	even	if	her	first	meeting	with	martha	takes	place	while	helen	is	in	the	altogether	,	caught	red	handed	after	a	bedroom	romp	with	her	husband	to	be	.	but	it	seems	that	martha's	friendly	smile	masks	a	much	more	threatening	demeanor	;	she's	what	you'd	call	someone	who	loves	too	much	.	martha	eagerly	,	deviously	wants	a	grandchild	,	and	then	helen	will	be	expendable	,	as	far	as	she's	concerned	.	if	there's	one	reason	to	catch	"	hush	,	"	it's	lange	.	she	treats	the	pedestrian	screenplay	better	than	it	deserves	to	be	treated	,	injecting	martha	(	poorly	written	though	she	may	be	)	with	a	little	empathy	to	level	out	the	psycho	playing	field	.	when	she	delves	into	martha's	dark	side	,	predictable	cliches	chain	smoking	,	staring	in	mirrors	,	praying	in	a	confessional	to	a	priest	who	isn't	there	,	poking	a	hole	in	helen's	diaphragm	so	she'll	become	pregnant	(	and	she	does	)	abound	,	but	it's	moderately	entertaining	junk	because	lange	is	such	an	interesting	actress	to	watch	.	veteran	performer	nina	foch	is	smart	and	tart	as	jackson's	wheelchair	bound	paternal	grandmother	.	the	rest	of	the	cast	looks	ill	and	uncomfortable	,	especially	paltrow	.	but	can	you	really	blame	them	?	the	character	relationships	in	"	hush	"	hold	a	certain	amount	of	promise	,	at	least	until	their	psychological	impact	is	blown	out	of	the	water	by	sheer	stupidity	.	idiotic	situations	(	martha	yells	at	a	nearby	horse	so	it	will	bolt	up	and	knock	helen	over	)	compliment	idiotic	dialogue	(	"	why	did	you	yell	?	"	helen	yells	back	at	martha	)	,	and	the	film	takes	the	form	of	one	of	the	shoddier	fill	in	the	blank	from	hell	flicks	ever	made	.	you	can	see	through	a	great	deal	of	martha's	actions	and	lies	from	their	conception	;	why	do	people	who	have	known	this	woman	for	years	longer	than	we	have	never	figure	things	out	?	does	nobody	communicate	or	read	the	newspaper	in	this	town	?	if	any	of	her	potential	victims	thought	,	acted	or	behaved	like	normal	people	,	"	hush	"	would	be	a	really	short	movie	.	and	then	there's	the	climax	and	ending	,	which	abruptly	come	when	helen	starts	having	contractions	after	eating	some	pound	cake	spiked	with	a	labor	inducing	drug	normally	used	on	horses	.	after	a	really	weird	chase	scene	,	martha	calmly	knits	in	a	rocking	chair	while	forcing	helen	to	give	birth	in	a	bed	all	by	herself	.	i	won't	spoil	what	happens	next	except	to	say	that	it's	contradictory	,	illogical	and	(	probably	,	since	i'm	no	doctor	)	medically	impossible	.	the	final	scene	offers	no	closure	,	no	resolution	,	no	confrontation	whatsoever	.	it's	just	there	,	dangling	amidst	silent	displeasure	.	no	one	should	like	this	ending	,	regardless	of	their	feelings	on	the	preceding	material	.	perhaps	"	hush	"	's	title	is	a	plea	to	silence	its	audience's	likely	bitter	word	of	mouth	while	exiting	the	theater	.	hr	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	suggestions	,	please	,	for	the	fourth	movie	in	the	series	.	how	about	look	who's	talking	back	,	'	in	which	the	audience	gets	its	turn	?	"	roger	ebert	on	"	look	who's	talking	now	"
neg	promoting	itself	as	"	an	instructional	dance	film	,	"	twist	purports	to	chronicle	the	evolution	of	rock	and	roll	dance	.	instead	it	jumbles	together	a	wide	and	disjointed	assortment	of	nostalgic	images	,	leaving	the	audience	to	figure	out	what	it's	all	about	.	as	a	result	,	twist	is	a	dance	documentary	with	two	left	feet	.	the	film	is	structured	as	eight	dance	"	lessons	,	"	complete	with	flashy	title	boards	,	but	there's	nothing	especially	unique	to	be	learned	from	each	section	.	canadian	producer	director	ron	mann	uses	a	combination	of	old	film	and	television	footage	and	interviews	with	now	middle	aged	american	bandstand	dancers	and	recording	artists	.	he	spotlights	these	performers	by	having	them	jiggle	in	front	of	heavily	stylized	backgrounds	and	,	frankly	,	it's	embarrassing	.	it's	clear	from	the	observations	of	betty	(	romantini	)	begg	,	carole	(	scaldeferri	)	spada	and	floss	(	harvey	)	mancini	why	they	are	dancers	,	not	commentators	,	as	mann	allows	them	to	ramble	on	even	though	they	have	almost	nothing	to	say	.	in	addition	,	hank	ballard	,	joey	dee	,	and	to	some	extent	chubby	checker	come	across	as	egotistical	jerks	surely	not	the	director's	intention	.	the	film	kicks	off	with	the	early	1950s	,	when	ballroom	dancing	was	all	the	rage	.	in	the	juke	joints	and	nightclubs	of	harlem	,	places	like	smalls	,	the	apollo	and	the	savoy	,	a	rising	young	star	called	hank	ballard	and	his	group	the	midnighters	were	performing	their	hits	,	songs	like	"	get	it	,	"	"	sexy	ways	,	"	and	the	infamous	"	work	with	me	annie	.	"	ballard's	lyrics	were	raw	and	suggestive	.	with	the	arrival	of	such	notables	as	elvis	presley	,	disc	jockeys	on	radio	stations	like	philadelphia's	wdas	stopped	calling	ballard's	style	of	music	r	b	and	started	calling	it	rock	and	roll	"	to	attract	the	white	kids	.	"	on	wfil	tv's	american	bandstand	,	regulars	on	the	show	started	imitating	the	black	kids	and	claiming	the	dance	steps	as	their	own	.	mann's	interview	with	bandstand	dancers	joan	(	buck	)	kiene	and	jimmy	peatross	attempts	to	illustrate	how	the	white	mainstream	ripped	off	the	african	american	culture	.	as	a	political	message	it's	too	simplistic	;	mann	lingers	on	their	shallow	repetitiveness	and	misses	the	opportunity	to	make	a	major	statement	.	most	of	the	information	presented	in	twist	isn't	new	the	fact	that	rock	and	roll	was	considered	to	be	a	"	communicable	disease	"	under	eisenhower's	presidency	,	for	example	but	the	section	on	the	twist	itself	is	informative	and	well	structured	.	in	1959	,	ballard's	recording	"	the	twist	"	took	the	nation	by	storm	.	twisting	was	easy	;	you	just	moved	your	hips	.	as	legend	has	it	,	dick	clark	assumed	that	the	song	would	be	too	dirty	coming	from	ballard	,	and	it	didn't	show	up	on	bandstand	until	the	cleaner	imaged	chubby	checker	recorded	his	version	in	1960	.	a	year	later	the	dance	had	become	a	world	wide	sensation	and	the	song	returned	to	number	one	,	spawning	over	300	twist	spin	offs	.	it	was	probably	the	first	time	those	immortal	words	"	it's	got	a	good	beat	and	you	can	dance	to	it	"	were	spoken	on	prime	time	tv	.	at	a	new	york	club	called	the	peppermint	lounge	,	manhattan's	rich	and	famous	were	rubbing	shoulders	with	the	commonfolk	to	get	in	on	the	action	.	for	a	brief	moment	the	film	becomes	quite	fascinating	;	we	learn	how	influential	the	twist	really	was	,	starting	fashion	trends	and	saturating	popular	culture	.	if	only	the	rest	of	the	film	could	have	maintained	this	momentum	.	unfortunately	,	mann	follows	this	portion	of	the	film	with	a	downward	spiraling	epilogue	that	simply	flings	more	contrived	dance	floor	maneuvers	in	our	face	.	the	swim	,	the	jerk	,	the	watusi	all	less	successful	derivations	.	the	hully	gully	and	the	hucklebuck	;	imitations	that	paled	by	comparison	.	when	the	british	invaded	in	1964	,	one	kind	of	musical	hysteria	was	traded	for	another	.	for	all	the	shimmying	and	shaking	going	on	in	the	film	,	twist	is	amazingly	lacking	in	energy	.	the	archive	footage	is	varied	and	often	fun	(	a	clip	in	which	marshall	mcluhan	shares	his	thoughts	on	the	dance	craze	,	for	example	,	is	a	howl	)	,	but	mann	does	very	little	with	it	.	many	scenes	lack	continuity	.	after	a	while	,	the	frenzied	black	and	white	footage	of	teenagers	bopping	and	jitterbugging	becomes	repetitive	and	ultimately	boring	.	it's	hard	to	tell	the	fly	from	the	frug	,	the	millie	from	the	monkey	.	even	though	twist	runs	only	seventy	eight	minutes	,	it's	a	long	haul	.	it's	not	clear	whether	twist	is	supposed	to	be	a	celebration	,	a	tribute	,	or	a	condensed	history	lesson	.	as	a	simple	account	of	dance	styles	from	the	fifties	and	sixties	,	it's	poorly	conceived	(	it	would	have	made	a	fine	short	film	)	.	for	all	its	instructional	aspirations	,	twist	doesn't	know	when	to	lead	and	when	to	follow	.
neg	can't	hardly	wait	1	2	written	and	directed	by	harry	elfont	and	deborah	kaplan	.	photography	,	lloyd	ahern	.	editing	,	michael	jablow	.	production	design	,	marcia	hinds	johnson	.	music	,	david	kitay	matthew	sweet	.	produced	by	jenno	topping	and	betty	thomas	.	cast	:	jennifer	love	hewitt	(	amanda	)	,	ethan	embry	(	preston	)	,	charlie	korsmo	(	william	)	,	lauren	ambrose	(	denise	)	,	peter	facinelli	(	mike	)	,	seth	green	(	kenny	)	,	jerry	o'connell	,	(	trip	mcneely	)	,	jenna	elfman	(	angel	)	.	a	columbia	pictures	release	.	95	min	.	pg	13	high	school	kids	are	human	,	but	you'd	hardly	think	so	from	a	large	number	of	movies	about	them	,	including	can't	hardly	wait	.	it's	the	first	directorial	effort	by	kaplan	and	elfont	whose	main	claim	to	fame	was	being	among	the	five	writers	of	a	very	brady	sequel	.	a	few	teen	films	have	been	on	the	thoughtful	side	:	the	classic	post	graduation	american	graffiti	,	the	excellent	end	of	school	year	dazed	and	confused	(	by	richard	linklater	)	,	some	works	by	john	hughes	(	the	breakfast	club	,	sixteen	candles	)	,	the	funny	to	hilarious	fast	times	at	ridgemont	high	(	by	amy	heckerling	)	,	ferris	bueller's	day	off	,	weird	science	(	both	by	hughes	)	.	note	that	the	hughes	titles	above	were	set	in	illinois	,	while	dazed	and	confused	is	in	texas	.	the	school	of	the	chw	kids	is	in	california	,	the	center	of	the	universe	as	per	hollywood	.	the	sad	denial	of	another	america	beyond	the	southern	pacific	coast	continues	,	obviously	for	practical	filmmaking	reasons	.	the	opening	credits	are	a	quick	,	cutesy	way	to	introduce	the	main	characters	,	their	accomplishments	,	aims	,	favorite	quotes	,	etc	.	as	a	rule	this	gimmick	makes	one	suspect	the	worst	.	one	quote	is	"	a	true	friend	stabs	you	in	the	front	,	"	attributed	to	oscar	wilde	.	i	cannot	guarantee	its	authenticity	,	but	a	search	for	it	turned	up	a	wildeism	more	germane	to	the	film	:	"	there	is	no	sin	,	except	stupidity	.	"	the	film's	title	must	refer	to	the	impatience	of	the	kids	to	leave	adolescence	for	maturity	,	as	well	as	to	the	state	of	english	in	schools	.	following	the	seniors'	graduation	ceremony	,	their	class	has	the	usual	ritualistic	bash	in	the	home	of	a	girl	who	ought	to	have	known	better	than	volunteer	the	place	.	the	party	is	a	rite	of	passage	not	the	rites	of	spring	but	the	trites	of	spring	.	the	motto	,	as	in	other	such	events	,	must	be	brew	and	screw	.	for	its	characters	,	the	filmmakers	round	up	the	usual	suspects	,	all	of	them	types	found	in	the	teen	genre	.	if	there	is	some	originality	here	,	it	is	well	hidden	by	cliches	gathered	from	earlier	flicks	.	chw's	deja	vu	types	and	actions	make	up	a	pot	pourri	,	an	expression	where	"	pourri	"	means	"	putrid	.	"	but	this	epithet	would	be	too	strong	a	condemnation	of	a	movie	whose	main	guilt	is	total	superficiality	.	the	action	almost	entirely	takes	place	at	the	shindig	.	celebrants	range	from	geeks	to	nerds	to	jocks	to	cuties	.	without	a	central	plot	or	guiding	thread	,	the	whole	thing	is	just	a	collection	of	skin	deep	subplots	.	the	main	one	is	this	:	athletic	mike	,	the	bmoc	,	has	just	dumped	amanda	,	his	girl	since	freshman	class	,	as	part	of	"	game	plan	"	with	his	pals	.	the	idea	is	that	those	among	them	who	are	going	on	to	college	will	have	women	by	the	regiment	falling	into	their	arms	and	beds	,	so	why	not	break	with	the	boys'	current	liaisons	?	it's	not	only	a	dumb	idea	but	a	revoltingly	cynical	one	.	learning	this	,	college	bound	would	be	writer	preston	wants	to	declare	his	love	to	now	uncommitted	amanda	.	he	is	a	likable	,	shy	fellow	who	has	been	adoring	her	silently	ever	since	they	both	were	freshmen	.	in	a	flashback	to	four	years	ago	,	the	movie	goofs	by	showing	amanda	,	preston	and	others	looking	exactly	as	they	do	now	.	add	to	this	the	sin	that	hollywood	has	been	committing	since	silent	movie	days	and	in	many	contemporary	films	as	well	:	too	many	screen	students	high	schoolers	or	undergraduates	are	perceptibly	older	than	they	would	be	in	real	life	.	preston	comes	to	the	party	with	his	confidante	and	best	pal	denise	.	she	is	brainy	a	la	janeane	garofalo	,	even	looks	like	a	mix	of	garofalo	and	a	young	kathy	bates	.	she	lacks	confidence	in	her	own	appearance	,	is	outside	the	girlish	loop	,	critical	of	others	,	has	a	mordant	tongue	.	another	subplot	will	involve	her	being	accidentally	locked	inside	a	bathroom	with	seth	,	with	predictable	consequences	.	he	is	a	white	boy	whose	solution	to	having	an	identity	has	been	to	adopt	a	black	personality	in	dress	,	speech	,	manners	,	music	,	and	the	like	.	(	there	are	,	by	the	way	,	some	merely	token	minority	students	at	the	party	)	as	for	amanda	,	she's	been	a	kind	of	first	lady	all	along	,	queen	of	this	and	of	that	.	she	is	nice	but	,	like	almost	everyone	else	,	not	a	thinking	person	.	(	you	wonder	how	the	vague	preston	will	perform	as	a	writer	)	amanda	does	get	the	film'	s	main	profundity	when	she	realizes	(	and	confesses	a	bit	pathetically	)	that	all	her	glory	came	from	being	mike's	satellite	.	with	some	people	,	it	takes	time	to	see	the	obvious	.	i	will	not	mention	other	characters	,	events	or	gratuitous	developments	of	chw	.	the	partygoers	,	are	without	exception	not	just	undeveloped	but	undersketched	.	there	are	few	small	saving	graces	.	one	is	the	movie's	relative	briefness	.	even	though	the	title	calls	for	the	joke	i	could	hardly	wait	for	it	to	finish	,	i	did	not	find	it	unbearable	just	blah	.	another	is	that	preston	is	neither	depicted	as	pathologically	shy	nor	as	a	caricature	intellectual	.	there	are	no	drop	dead	gorgeous	women	.	and	,	in	a	near	surreal	sight	,	as	preston	tries	to	use	a	public	phone	,	a	woman	,	a	tired	stripper	with	fake	angel	wings	,	hassles	him	for	the	use	of	the	cabin	.	she	is	played	by	the	uncredited	jenna	elfman	,	who	recently	had	a	major	part	in	krippendorf's	tribe	and	is	married	to	the	nephew	of	composer	danny	elfman	.	obviously	made	for	high	schoolers	who	may	or	may	not	get	some	mini	shocks	of	recognition	,	and	full	of	references	to	current	pop	culture	,	chw	will	survive	only	if	its	target	audience	shows	up	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
neg	original	sin	(	2001	)	antonio	banderas	,	angelina	jolie	,	thomas	jane	,	jack	thompson	,	gregory	itzin	,	allison	mackie	,	john	pringle	,	cordelia	richards	,	james	haven	,	pedro	armendariz	jr	.	written	and	directed	by	michael	cristofer	,	based	on	the	novel	"	waltz	into	darkness	"	by	cornell	woolrich	.	112	minutes	.	rated	r	,	1	.	5	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	for	"	original	sin	,	"	the	road	to	the	screen	has	been	rocky	.	initially	slated	for	release	last	november	,	the	film	was	bumped	twice	,	finally	landing	in	the	dog	days	of	summer	2001	.	advance	screenings	of	the	film	were	denied	to	all	but	a	few	critics	,	generally	a	sign	that	the	studio	realizes	it	has	a	dud	on	its	hands	.	so	is	"	original	sin	"	really	all	that	bad	?	yes	it	is	,	but	the	melodrama	does	offer	some	rewards	.	the	location	settings	are	gorgeous	and	there	is	a	healthy	sprinkling	of	t	a	(	with	angelina	jolie	providing	the	"	t	"	and	antonio	banderas	the	"	a	"	)	.	more	importantly	,	the	movie	is	entertainingly	bad	.	veteran	readers	know	that	,	as	a	rule	,	i	don't	encourage	people	to	patronize	lousy	films	.	most	of	the	time	,	there	are	plenty	of	quality	offerings	on	the	marketplace	that	are	more	deserving	of	our	money	and	besides	,	the	"	let's	go	laugh	at	the	failings	of	others	"	mindset	reflects	an	elitism	that	makes	me	uncomfortable	.	but	things	are	different	this	summer	.	quality	films	,	to	put	it	mildly	,	have	been	few	and	far	between	,	so	as	far	as	i'm	concerned	,	it's	fair	to	find	our	kicks	where	we	may	.	"	original	sin	"	will	never	join	such	treasures	as	"	valley	of	the	dolls	,	"	"	road	house	"	and	"	showgirls	"	in	the	bad	movie	hall	of	fame	,	but	it'll	do	until	something	worse	comes	along	.	the	film	,	adapted	by	director	michael	cristofer	from	the	cornell	woolrich	novel	,	"	waltz	into	darkness	"	(	which	was	also	the	source	for	the	1969	francois	truffaut	film	,	"	mississippi	mermaid	"	)	,	opens	in	a	turn	of	the	century	prison	,	as	jolie's	character	,	slated	for	a	dawn	execution	,	tells	her	lurid	tale	to	a	priest	who	appears	desperately	horny	.	the	freshman	writing	class	tone	is	quickly	established	when	she	says	things	like	,	"	this	is	not	a	love	story	,	it	is	a	story	about	love	.	"	wary	of	local	gold	diggers	,	cuban	coffee	dealer	luis	antonio	vargas	(	banderas	)	makes	arrangements	to	secure	a	mail	order	bride	from	america	,	listing	himself	as	a	mere	clerk	to	dissuade	foreign	gold	diggers	.	a	practical	man	,	luis	chooses	a	frumpy	looking	lady	,	hoping	she	will	be	a	loyal	mate	able	to	provide	him	with	children	.	imagine	his	surprise	when	his	fiance	,	julia	russell	(	jolie	)	,	turns	out	to	be	infinitely	more	attractive	than	the	woman	in	the	photo	.	julia	explains	that	she	sent	a	different	woman's	image	because	she	didn't	want	to	be	selected	solely	for	her	pretty	face	.	luis	then	confesses	his	deception	,	leading	julie	to	state	,	with	great	significance	,	"	we	have	something	in	common	,	we	are	both	not	to	trusted	.	"	after	their	wedding	,	luis	and	julia	retire	for	a	glorious	night	of	carefully	choreographed	lovemaking	,	with	their	bodies	positioned	to	display	her	breasts	and	his	bottom	as	erotically	as	possible	.	jolie	and	banderas	are	attractive	people	and	watching	them	naked	is	fun	,	although	the	filmmakers'	insistence	on	using	one	of	banderas'	legs	to	cover	jolie's	crotch	makes	it	look	like	he's	trying	to	climb	her	.	luis	,	the	stupidest	man	who	ever	lived	,	immediately	instructs	the	bank	to	make	his	personal	and	business	accounts	available	to	julia	,	despite	the	fact	that	she	seems	nothing	like	the	woman	with	whom	he	corresponded	.	his	blissful	ignorance	continues	as	the	warning	signs	mount	up	.	luis	must	force	julia	to	write	to	her	sister	emily	,	who	is	frantic	over	her	lack	of	communication	.	shortly	after	julia	complains	about	the	chirping	of	a	pet	bird	,	it	is	found	on	the	floor	of	its	cage	with	a	broken	neck	.	finally	,	when	she	cleans	out	his	accounts	and	disappears	,	luis	begins	to	suspect	that	something	might	be	wrong	.	incidentally	,	if	you're	afraid	i'm	giving	too	much	away	,	rest	assured	that	all	of	this	happens	in	the	first	30	minutes	of	the	movie	,	leaving	plenty	of	time	for	numerous	dopey	plot	twists	,	a	great	deal	of	operatic	acting	and	more	footage	of	her	tits	and	his	ass	.	along	the	way	,	private	detective	walter	downs	(	played	by	thomas	jane	,	who	was	terrific	as	mickey	mantle	in	the	hbo	movie	"	61	"	)	turns	up	,	hired	by	the	frumpy	woman's	sister	to	find	out	what	happened	to	the	real	julia	.	luis	is	also	eager	for	the	detective	to	track	down	the	con	artist	,	having	decided	that	if	he	can't	have	her	,	he	will	kill	her	.	oh	,	the	pathos	of	it	all	.	the	cast	appears	to	recognize	the	trashiness	of	the	story	,	adjusting	their	performances	accordingly	.	banderas	is	suitably	impassioned	,	while	jolie	alternates	between	vamping	and	pouting	(	and	with	those	lips	,	she	can	really	pout	)	.	as	for	thomas	jane	,	he	starts	off	acting	suspicious	and	cagey	,	then	accelerates	to	a	snidely	whiplash	level	of	nastiness	.	his	most	startling	moment	comes	when	,	to	prove	his	power	to	humiliate	,	he	forces	luis	against	a	wall	,	verbally	taunts	him	while	rubbing	his	cheeks	against	those	of	luis	and	then	finishes	establishing	his	dominance	with	a	full	on	kiss	.	if	anyone	ever	questions	the	difference	between	sex	and	rape	,	show	them	this	chilling	scene	.	and	if	anyone	ever	questions	the	difference	between	real	drama	and	a	laughable	potboiler	,	show	them	"	original	sin	.	"
neg	yes	,	august	is	upon	us	and	with	it	comes	the	second	appearance	of	the	twice	yearly	dumping	ground	for	hollywood	.	like	the	february	doldrums	,	august	brings	us	films	filled	with	fading	stars	and	awful	storylines	that	weren't	deemed	good	enough	to	break	even	after	a	big	summer	marketing	campaign	,	nor	will	they	be	able	to	go	toe	to	toe	with	meatier	fare	during	oscar	season	.	and	to	open	august	,	enter	bless	the	child	,	possibly	the	worst	movie	i've	seen	this	year	.	well	,	after	mission	to	mars	.	swallow	hard	before	reading	this	ridiculous	plot	synopsis	,	which	i	can	already	tell	is	going	to	be	painful	to	type	.	in	a	nutshell	,	jesus	has	returned	to	earth	in	the	form	of	a	little	girl	(	holliston	coleman	)	,	who	is	abandoned	by	her	druggie	mother	(	angela	bettis	)	as	an	infant	,	to	be	raised	by	aunt	maggie	(	kim	basinger	)	.	six	years	later	,	satan's	minions	are	out	to	kill	the	girl	,	of	course	.	and	this	year	,	satan's	head	minion	is	a	new	agey	creep	named	eric	stark	(	rufus	sewell	)	,	determined	to	convert	the	jesus	girl	to	the	dark	side	before	easter	.	.	.	or	else	she	must	die	!	(	i	guess	they	picked	easter	because	,	you	know	,	they	missed	the	whole	millennial	paranoia	genre	window	by	about	a	year	.	)	enter	an	occult	expert	fbi	agent	(	jimmy	smits	)	and	you've	got	a	kind	of	cop	thriller	paranormal	sixth	sense	wannabe	that	makes	apocalyptic	pap	like	end	of	days	look	like	the	seventh	seal	.	while	young	coleman	is	a	gifted	actress	,	the	movie	has	her	doing	little	more	than	beating	her	head	against	the	wall	,	hugging	people	,	or	spinning	stuff	with	her	magical	powers	(	backed	up	by	lousy	digital	effects	)	.	basinger	proves	that	,	yes	,	l	.	a	.	confidential	was	a	total	fluke	and	that	she	can't	act	after	all	.	and	sewell	appears	to	be	channeling	dr	.	evil	for	his	goofy	bad	guy	role	.	while	christina	ricci	is	being	used	to	sell	this	film	to	the	unsuspecting	masses	,	her	part	is	barely	a	cameo	comprising	three	minutes	of	screen	time	.	but	bad	acting	doesn't	kill	bless	the	child	,	it's	the	bad	plot	that	aborts	this	production	.	driven	by	randomness	,	coincidence	,	and	just	plain	stupidity	on	the	part	of	the	characters	,	the	movie	wanders	from	scene	to	scene	with	little	more	purpose	than	filling	100	minutes	before	we	get	to	the	inevitable	showdown	at	the	end	.	this	has	been	a	successful	m	.	o	.	for	action	films	for	a	century	but	few	have	had	the	gall	to	try	to	work	in	a	god	vs	.	devil	plot	.	the	film	is	so	over	the	top	that	maggie's	car	,	when	falling	off	a	bridge	,	can't	just	splash	into	the	water	it	has	to	explode	into	flames	on	the	way	down	.	the	film	is	so	derivative	it	actually	steals	lines	from	other	movies	(	notably	a	slight	variation	on	"	the	greatest	trick	the	devil	pulled	was	convincing	the	world	he	didn't	exist	"	from	the	usual	suspects	)	.	and	the	film	is	so	amazingly	obvious	that	you	expect	stark's	limo	to	have	"	666	"	on	the	license	plates	.	altogether	,	bless	the	child	is	almost	bad	enough	to	become	a	cult	classic	.
neg	what	would	you	do	if	no	one	could	see	you	?	well	,	if	you're	a	super	smart	bio	molecular	research	scientist	working	for	the	military	,	you'd	grope	a	co	worker	and	rough	up	your	neighbor	from	across	the	street	.	that's	right	.	of	all	the	non	criminal	possibilities	brought	about	by	rendering	oneself	invisible	,	in	"	hollow	man	"	kevin	bacon's	character	opts	to	commit	sex	crimes	.	er	,	it's	kevin	bacon	who	plays	the	super	smart	military	bio	molecular	research	scientist	?	something	sounds	horribly	wrong	already	.	but	this	is	a	paul	verhoeven	film	,	and	the	sleazepin	director	of	such	open	crotch	classics	as	"	basic	instinct	"	and	the	infamous	"	showgirls	"	never	lets	a	little	credibility	get	in	the	way	of	his	voyeuristic	tendencies	which	,	when	you	come	right	down	to	it	,	is	all	this	film	is	about	.	"	hollow	man	"	features	a	string	of	hapless	,	c	list	actors	(	among	them	bacon	,	elisabeth	shue	,	josh	brolin	,	and	kim	dickens	)	in	a	grade	z	plot	with	a	lot	of	special	effects	that	,	frankly	,	don't	look	much	better	than	those	used	in	the	1933	version	of	"	the	invisible	man	.	"	oh	bacon	glistens	when	he	gets	wet	all	right	and	looks	like	a	rather	fatty	side	of	cheap	flank	steak	when	he's	attempting	reentry	but	otherwise	it's	lots	of	"	thermal	"	shots	and	inanimate	objects	(	elisabeth	shue	included	)	bobbing	around	without	any	visible	signs	of	support	.	since	invisibility	,	once	achieved	,	isn't	much	of	an	effect	(	the	actors	spend	half	their	time	conversing	with	nobody	and	the	other	half	of	their	time	talking	to	each	other	it	amounts	to	much	of	a	muchness	)	,	the	director	elects	to	wardrobe	all	of	his	female	protagonists	in	loosely	buttoned	sweaters	so	that	the	minute	bacon's	character	gets	invisible	he	can	head	straight	for	them	.	it's	as	if	that	fascinating	concept	what	would	you	do	if	no	one	could	see	you	?	is	simply	a	verhoeven	ploy	to	show	some	skin	.	as	a	horror	film	,	"	hollow	man	"	is	unsophisticated	and	disturbing	(	in	its	intent	,	not	its	achievements	)	and	not	worth	your	time	or	your	hard	earned	dollars	.	it's	minor	verhoeven	and	even	that's	not	saying	much	and	boy	is	it	hollow	.
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	home	(	screener	tape	courtesy	of	fine	line	features	usa	)	released	in	the	uk	by	alliance	atlantis	on	january	28	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	106	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	matthew	warchus	;	produced	by	jean	franois	fonlupt	,	dan	lupovitz	,	timm	oberwelland	.	written	by	david	nicholls	,	matthew	warchus	;	based	upon	the	original	stage	play	by	sam	shepard	.	photographed	by	john	toll	;	edited	by	pasquale	buba	.	"	simpatico	"	doesn't	involve	us	in	its	story	,	so	much	as	it	blackmails	us	into	it	.	yes	,	i	kept	wondering	what	was	going	to	happen	next	,	but	not	because	i	cared	i	simply	wanted	to	make	sense	of	it	all	.	the	film's	method	is	to	throw	a	lot	of	bewildering	information	at	us	,	and	keep	us	watching	by	promising	it'll	all	be	sorted	out	by	the	end	.	the	main	characters	are	carter	(	jeff	bridges	)	,	a	successful	businessman	whose	acres	of	property	include	a	sleek	country	mansion	,	and	vinnie	(	nick	nolte	)	,	an	angry	slob	whose	rotting	bungalow	lies	in	the	middle	of	sandy	nowhere	.	as	the	movie	opens	,	carter	is	getting	ready	to	sell	his	family's	prized	racehorse	,	but	is	interrupted	from	the	deal	by	a	phone	call	from	vinnie	,	who	orders	him	to	come	cross	country	to	see	him	.	carter	immediately	hops	on	a	plane	.	with	the	possible	exception	of	hugh	grant	,	millionaires	don't	often	abandon	their	busy	schedules	to	visit	shady	bums	,	so	what	strange	hold	does	vinnie	have	on	carter	?	after	a	lot	of	unspecific	talk	about	'the	past	"	,	we	learn	that	years	ago	the	two	men	were	involved	together	in	gambling	and	bribery	scams	,	and	vinnie	has	always	held	onto	proof	of	these	illegal	actions	that	could	destroy	carter's	credibility	in	legitimate	circles	.	since	vinnie	is	more	than	a	little	unstable	,	carter	does	not	want	to	upset	him	,	and	appeases	his	old	friend	as	much	as	he	can	.	we	get	the	sense	that	this	arrangement	has	been	going	for	quite	some	time	vinny	making	threats	,	carter	giving	him	things	to	keep	him	quiet	.	things	may	not	,	however	,	be	so	simple	this	time	.	vinny	is	really	starting	to	act	like	he'll	do	something	with	his	evidence	;	perhaps	he'll	expose	carter	,	perhaps	just	re	open	old	wounds	for	the	man's	wife	rosie	(	sharon	stone	)	,	whose	part	in	her	husband's	extortion	rackets	left	her	permanently	emotionally	scarred	.	right	there	is	,	more	or	less	,	the	whole	story	of	"	simpatico	"	,	which	unfolds	in	an	odd	manner	:	characters	pop	up	onscreen	now	and	again	talking	about	secretive	things	the	audience	don't	know	anything	about	.	flashbacks	appear	,	to	explain	tiny	pieces	of	the	puzzle	.	then	come	moments	of	quiet	reflection	.	while	this	deliberately	perplexing	method	of	storytelling	must	have	seemed	like	a	hot	idea	to	the	filmmakers	,	because	it	lets	them	stretch	their	meagre	plot	out	to	feature	length	,	it	leaves	the	audience	at	a	loss	to	understand	whether	or	not	the	actors'	performances	are	any	good	.	we're	never	let	know	what	the	motivations	of	the	characters	are	,	let	alone	whether	these	motivations	are	being	played	convincingly	.	nolte	and	bridges	do	a	lot	of	grunting	and	shouting	;	stone	appears	far	too	late	in	the	film	for	her	passionate	anger	to	redeem	the	dullness	of	the	script	.	albert	finney	,	playing	a	man	vinnie	and	carter	ruined	,	does	a	lot	of	weird	babbling	in	a	typically	terrible	american	accent	;	catherine	keener	,	as	a	checkout	girl	who	never	wanted	to	be	involved	with	a	bunch	of	crooks	,	switches	between	tough	cookie	and	gullible	simpleton	,	often	within	the	same	scene	.	maybe	all	this	made	sense	in	the	sam	shepard	stage	play	upon	which	"	simpatico	"	is	based	.	it	doesn't	in	the	movie	.	this	would	have	been	a	fascinating	piece	of	work	if	the	plot	had	been	outlined	in	the	opening	twenty	minutes	,	and	the	rest	of	the	script	had	focused	on	the	characters	.	who	are	these	people	?	who	were	they	?	how	do	they	feel	about	each	other	?	how	did	the	consequences	of	their	swindles	specifically	affect	them	?	"	simpatico	"	ignores	all	these	potentially	interesting	avenues	,	trying	to	work	on	the	level	of	its	mystery	alone	mystery	that	isn't	mysterious	,	just	confusing	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantganiplease	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	_	dirty	_	work	_	has	a	premise	of	deliciously	mean	spirited	potential	.	mitch	weaver	(	norm	macdonald	)	and	his	lifelong	best	friend	sam	mckenna	(	artie	lange	)	are	losers	in	life	:	they	were	constantly	picked	on	in	school	,	and	now	they	cannot	hold	regular	jobs	.	but	as	the	trailer	goes	,	"	there	is	one	thing	mitch	weaver	is	good	at	revenge	.	"	so	he	and	sam	parlay	their	unmatched	skill	in	getting	even	schemes	into	a	marketable	revenge	for	hire	business	called	dirty	work	inc	.	this	should	be	the	groundwork	for	a	wonderfully	wicked	black	comedy	,	but	for	a	film	called	_	dirty	_	work	_	,	what	ensues	is	rather	clean	of	spirit	.	in	fact	,	what	makes	mitch	and	sam	start	up	their	business	is	not	a	giddy	desire	to	give	bullies	a	taste	of	their	own	medicine	,	but	rather	a	more	sappy	reason	:	sam's	father	(	jack	warden	)	needs	a	heart	transplant	,	and	in	order	for	him	to	move	at	the	top	of	the	recipient	list	,	his	compulsively	betting	doctor	(	chevy	chase	)	asks	the	guys	for	50	,	000	to	pay	off	his	bookie	.	so	for	all	the	scheming	that	goes	on	,	beneath	every	underhanded	plot	is	gasp	!	a	heart	,	which	undercuts	the	inherent	nastiness	of	the	premise	.	not	that	there	isn't	a	lot	of	nastiness	on	display	there	is	,	but	of	a	different	sort	.	there	are	frequent	sexual	references	,	most	prominently	in	the	form	of	prostitutes	and	sam's	impotent	father's	ongoing	lust	for	them	.	and	for	a	film	rated	pg	13	,	director	bob	saget	(	yes	,	that	bob	saget	,	of	_	full	_	house	_	and	_	america's	_	funniest	_	home	_	videos	_	fame	)	and	writers	frank	sebastiano	,	fred	wolf	,	and	macdonald	himself	,	stretch	the	boundaries	of	good	taste	rather	far	arguably	a	bit	too	much	so	(	was	not	one	,	but	two	separate	instances	of	sodomy	between	animals	really	necessary	?	)	.	but	the	issue	,	of	course	,	is	not	so	much	of	taste	as	it	is	humor	as	in	,	is	it	funny	or	not	?	the	answer	is	a	resounding	no	.	it's	not	that	macdonald	isn't	a	funny	guy	.	he	was	one	of	the	more	consistently	funny	performers	on	_	saturday	_	night	_	live	_	before	his	much	talked	about	firing	,	and	his	dry	brand	of	smartass	wit	translates	well	to	the	big	screen	;	it	also	doesn't	hurt	that	he's	a	natural	,	likable	screen	presence	.	he	is	able	to	give	some	of	his	lines	a	nice	acid	touch	,	but	,	for	the	most	part	,	the	oneliners	,	as	written	,	are	flat	,	and	the	broad	slapstick	gags	just	don't	work	(	one	running	gag	has	him	being	literally	tossed	out	of	buildings	a	real	riot	)	.	still	,	macdonald's	few	shining	moments	are	just	about	the	only	moments	the	film	has	.	the	late	chris	farley	,	as	hysterical	as	he	ever	was	,	is	amusing	in	a	cameo	role	,	but	,	as	a	whole	,	the	supporting	players	are	amateurish	and	seemingly	free	from	any	directorial	guidance	.	saget	tries	to	juice	up	the	proceedings	with	kitschy	cameos	by	gary	coleman	,	adam	sandler	,	and	john	goodman	,	but	their	minimal	novelty	value	cannot	prevent	_	dirty	_	work	_	from	sputtering	to	the	end	of	its	brief	81	minute	running	time	.	the	film	closes	on	a	sad	note	of	desperation	,	an	indulgent	reel	of	outtakes	from	which	only	those	involved	in	the	production	would	derive	any	amusement	.	come	to	think	of	it	,	i	cannot	imagine	anyone	but	those	involved	in	the	production	to	find	much	amusement	in	the	entirety	of	_	dirty	_	work	_	.
neg	and	here	i	was	,	expecting	a	movie	about	bullfighting	.	this	cryptic	little	indie	starts	out	with	the	story	of	a	frenchman	(	olivier	martinez	)	in	mexico	,	fascinated	with	bullfighting	,	indeed	.	when	his	cute	little	girlfriend	unleashes	a	bull	on	him	for	some	unknown	reason	,	she	ends	up	getting	gored	.	that's	bad	enough	,	but	her	dad	turns	out	to	be	a	major	crime	boss	,	and	he	proceeds	to	go	on	a	rampage	against	our	poor	frenchman	.	hooking	up	with	mary	(	star	trek	:	tng's	michelle	forbes	)	,	the	duo	begin	a	"	fantasy	adventure	"	that	transcends	any	sense	of	reality	,	culminating	in	the	birth	of	a	new	messiah	who	is	dubbed	"	pumpkin	.	"	bullfighter	is	ultimately	a	blatant	ripoff	of	robert	rodriguez's	el	mariachi	,	made	for	obviously	no	money	by	indie	vet	l	.	m	.	kit	carson	and	his	crew	.	strangely	enough	,	rodriguez	actually	has	a	cameo	in	this	movie	,	which	says	to	me	he's	paying	off	carson	for	all	his	support	of	indie	filmmaking	.	and	while	el	mariachi	is	a	truly	great	film	,	bullfighter	is	anything	but	.	the	story	is	supposed	to	be	farcical	(	i	think	)	,	but	it	just	comes	off	as	stupid	and	tiresome	.	the	camerawork	is	bad	,	the	editing	is	atrocious	(	each	scene	transition	uses	a	grating	jump	back	and	forth	five	times	method	which	makes	you	want	to	kill	yourself	after	10	minutes	of	it	)	.	the	special	effects	typically	involve	a	strobe	light	.	this	is	not	a	good	thing	.	what	is	mildly	good	is	forbes	(	the	only	real	actor	in	the	picture	)	,	and	martinez	makes	for	a	curiously	understated	action	hero	.	if	only	he	didn't	mutter	all	his	lines	beneath	his	breath	,	thus	rendering	the	picture	even	less	comprehensible	.
neg	ah	,	the	family	classic	kazaam	,	starring	that	ever	popular	shaquille	o'neal	,	once	a	big	basketball	star	.	space	jam	was	a	hit	with	michael	jordan	,	why	not	have	other	players	act	?	that	ever	popular	movie	about	shaq	being	a	genie	in	a	bottle	made	18	million	,	and	it's	time	to	do	a	sequel	.	(	note	on	above	paragraph	:	anyone	reading	the	above	paragraph	and	thought	that	i	was	actually	serious	should	seek	medical	help	immediately	by	going	to	www	.	shrink	.	com	)	how	many	times	does	it	take	those	dumb	studio	executives	to	figure	out	that	something	doesn't	work	?	if	o'neal's	movie	premiere	,	kazaam	,	which	made	the	internet	movie	database's	top	10	worst	films	of	the	90s	than	why	make	another	movie	starring	this	tall	basketball	hero	?	what	is	an	extremely	poor	rehash	(	it	almost	gets	the	same	treatment	that	this	summer's	other	comic	book	to	screen	dissapointment	spawn	got	)	of	a	great	old	comic	book	,	turns	into	a	violent	,	cheesy	,	and	inane	chase	through	a	city	of	bad	guys	.	the	evil	nathaniel	burke	(	judd	nelson	)	purposefully	shoots	fellow	officer	susan	sparks	(	gish	)	with	an	overpowered	weapon	right	in	front	of	john	henry	irons	(	o'neal	,	his	name	is	henry	irons	and	steel	,	get	it	?	)	on	the	testing	field	.	he's	some	type	of	psychotic	maniac	and	plans	to	reek	hell	on	the	world	by	letting	everyone	feel	his	pain	.	when	susan	becomes	confined	to	a	wheelchair	,	john	helps	her	on	her	road	to	recovery	.	but	all	is	not	well	,	burke	has	decided	to	sell	the	powerful	weapons	on	the	black	market	and	hires	unknowingly	naive	young	african	americans	to	sell	them	for	him	.	but	,	(	and	i	hope	your	sitting	down	)	my	god	,	he's	captured	john's	baby	brother	!	this	prompts	him	to	turn	into	a	superhuman	metal	man	with	a	cool	suit	and	plenty	of	interesting	gadgets	.	an	action	film	easily	more	forgettable	than	batman	robin	.	at	least	batman	had	some	flashly	effects	and	cool	scenes	.	this	film	is	filled	with	countless	scenes	that	are	so	bad	,	it	almost	appears	as	if	some	of	the	actors	are	holding	back	their	laughter	.	another	thing	that	makes	it	bad	is	the	fact	that	we	a	supposed	to	actually	care	for	all	of	these	characters	when	they	are	placed	into	danger	,	even	though	we	know	that	they	cannot	possibly	die	because	this	is	a	run	of	the	mill	action	flick	.	this	is	another	film	to	see	if	you	enjoy	inflicting	pain	on	yourself	,	and	i	give	it	star	.	the	young	uns	:	this	film	contains	lots	of	violence	and	showcases	it	as	a	way	of	solving	problems	,	it	glorifies	this	is	many	ways	.	however	,	it's	not	as	nearly	as	violent	as	many	other	action	films	your	child's	already	seen	.	good	age	:	11	12	additional	note	:	this	film	also	made	the	internet	movie	database's	top	10	worst	films	of	the	90s	.
neg	"	nothing	more	than	a	high	budget	masturbation	fantasy	"	showgirls	(	nc	17	)	contains	graphic	nudity	,	profanity	,	sexual	situations	and	violence	.	some	people	,	however	,	keep	their	clothes	on	.	you	do	not	watch	porn	films	for	their	intellectual	values	,	nor	do	you	write	reviews	on	them	.	that's	why	this	review	will	be	short	.	it	seems	that	this	film	will	end	up	in	the	porn	section	when	it	hits	the	video	stores	.	there	is	no	story	,	script	,	point	or	acting	.	only	naked	bodies	,	which	is	exactly	the	point	.	here	is	the	so	called	plot	:	nomi	,	the	23	year	old	with	a	dark	past	as	a	hooker	,	has	hitchhiked	from	somewhere	back	east	to	perform	in	a	show	where	a	dancer	doesn't	wear	much	more	than	a	light	coating	of	powder	and	a	big	,	fake	smile	.	no	one	is	twisting	nomi's	arm	.	no	one	is	holding	her	grandmother	hostage	.	she	wants	to	do	this	.	and	that	is	what	she	is	doing	till	the	end	credits	.	so	what's	the	problem	then	?	what's	the	point	?	what's	the	film	about	?	is	there	anyone	whose	aspirations	could	inspire	less	sympathy	?	this	film	can	be	described	in	one	sentence	:	obscene	level	of	incompetence	,	excessive	stupidity	in	the	story	line	,	gross	negligence	of	the	viewer's	intelligence	,	a	prurient	interest	in	the	quick	buck	.	believe	me	,	after	an	hour	with	these	characters	,	acting	and	script	,	you'll	start	hoping	for	someone	to	kill	somebody	.	elizabeth	berkley	makes	a	laughable	try	as	the	heroine	of	this	film	,	that	is	bad	even	for	eszterhas'	script	.	her	character	is	the	only	one	that	is	at	least	half	written	and	she	could	really	have	done	better	.	her	character	denies	the	fact	that	she	is	a	whore	for	the	industry	,	selling	her	body	to	the	hungry	eyes	of	the	horny	public	.	"	i	am	not	a	whore	!	i	am	a	dancer	"	,	she	screams	,	but	does	it	in	such	an	over	dramatized	way	that	you'll	start	laughing	.	in	fact	the	acting	in	"	showgirls	"	brings	terrible	to	a	new	and	previously	unknown	level	.	not	one	single	achievement	,	besides	the	conventional	cinematography	,	is	worth	mentioning	.	it	is	a	total	waste	of	time	and	money	.	there	is	not	a	single	moment	of	what	you	might	call	intelligence	.	the	dialogue	is	structured	of	ancient	stereotypes	and	cliches	lined	up	one	after	another	.	its	attempt	to	even	imagine	to	have	half	a	brain	results	in	a	catastrophe	.	"	in	my	films	,	"	writes	director	paul	verhoeven	(	'basic	instinct'	,	'total	recall'	)	,	"	i	hold	the	mirror	up	to	life	.	"	well	,	excuse	me	?	his	attempt	to	go	behind	the	scenes	of	las	vegas	,	and	as	he	put	it	"	show	the	naked	truth	"	,	is	simplified	and	unreal	.	occasionally	,	between	his	collection	of	mistakes	and	logical	irrationalities	,	screenwriter	joe	eszterhas	(	the	creator	of	some	of	the	worst	screenplays	in	hollywood	history	)	inserts	some	lines	of	deep	morality	,	that	sound	something	like	this	:	"	hey	,	i	see	you	.	i	see	that	you're	hiding	"	"	from	what	?	"	"	from	you	"	.	yes	,	and	even	the	only	decent	line	in	this	film	:	"	nomi	is	what	las	vegas	is	all	about	"	can't	save	'showgirls'	from	going	under	.	it's	a	strange	phenomena	.	it's	not	erotic	,	because	it	lacks	sensuality	.	not	dramatic	,	because	it	lacks	the	acting	.	and	not	intelligent	because	it	lacks	a	story	.	it	is	simply	verhoven's	bad	excuse	for	making	pornography	.	you	want	to	see	naked	women	?	bare	breasts	?	full	frontals	?	it's	nothing	wrong	with	that	.	but	in	that	case	i	suggest	that	you	rent	a	porn	film	in	your	local	video	store	,	and	not	waste	time	surviving	through	eszterhas'	pathetic	dialogue	.	b	qualities	,	while	it's	only	a	high	budget	porn	film	.
neg	"	my	problem	was	being	a	young	man	with	money	in	manhattan	,	"	says	bret	easton	ellis	,	citing	his	inspiration	for	american	psycho	.	when	it	comes	to	vivid	fantasies	of	alienated	urban	narcissism	,	his	prose	strikes	a	chilling	,	edgy	chord	.	like	skimming	the	surface	of	an	icy	lake	,	we	are	left	imagining	the	dark	depths	below	.	hey	,	that	really	sounds	poetic	!	i'm	gonna	have	another	valium	before	writing	the	rest	of	this	review	maybe	someday	i'll	be	as	glib	as	ellis	!	just	kidding	.	i've	actually	enjoyed	reading	ellis'	novels	of	passive	emptiness	.	less	than	zero	is	the	perfect	book	for	road	trips	,	especially	when	you	look	out	the	window	having	thoughts	that	resemble	the	shallow	characters	.	"	ah	,	yes	,	adolescence	truly	is	a	volatile	mystery	!	"	having	said	that	,	ellis	prose	typically	comes	off	as	,	well	,	boring	,	glib	,	pseudo	intellectual	,	snooty	,	irritating	,	and	shallow	when	read	aloud	.	try	reading	passages	to	your	friends	.	watch	them	lose	interest	in	you	as	a	human	being	.	don't	scoff	!	if	you	were	in	their	shoes	,	you	would	,	too	!	heck	,	you	probably	will	if	you	attempt	to	sit	through	gerald	fox's	unintentionally	grating	documentary	,	this	is	not	an	exit	:	the	fictional	world	of	bret	easton	ellis	.	fox	tries	to	pull	off	the	imaginative	conceit	of	crossing	interview	footage	of	ellis	with	dramatizations	from	his	body	of	work	,	including	less	than	zero	and	his	recent	perils	of	celebrity	bestseller	,	glamorama	.	it's	like	a	kaleidoscope	of	short	films	with	additional	commentary	from	the	novelist	.	unfortunately	for	ellis	,	he's	so	smug	,	creepy	,	and	annoying	that	he	does	his	novels	a	disservice	by	appearing	onscreen	.	potential	readers	will	take	one	look	at	this	privileged	brat	and	understandably	vow	never	to	read	him	.	i	haven't	even	started	discussing	ellis'	whiny	friends	,	hogging	for	screen	time	as	they	take	a	limo	cruise	through	new	york	city	searching	for	the	perfect	restaurant	.	it's	scary	that	his	unimaginative	fictional	characters	bear	such	a	scary	resemblance	to	his	actual	peers	.	when	one	of	them	compares	him	to	orson	welles	(	"	cuz	you're	a	big	genius	,	bret	!	"	)	,	i	wanted	to	slap	that	pompous	grin	off	his	mug	.	okay	,	maybe	i'm	jealous	that	i	don't	have	ellis'	problems	.	beautiful	friends	,	a	fat	wallet	,	the	inability	to	see	through	my	own	vapidity	.	maybe	i'm	being	too	hard	on	the	guy	.	gotta	calm	my	nerves	before	i	finish	this	review	.	pass	the	cocaine	.	a	bottom	of	the	barrel	budget	doesn't	help	illuminate	the	scenes	lifted	from	ellis'	novels	.	rough	,	jarring	cuts	and	washed	out	cinematography	are	completely	inappropriate	for	the	polished	world	his	characters	inhabit	.	the	bland	white	walls	and	inept	lighting	could	have	been	easily	better	realized	by	inexperienced	first	year	film	students	.	the	poorly	staged	ellis	stories	serve	as	a	reminder	of	how	right	mary	harron's	instincts	were	on	american	psycho	.	by	dwelling	on	impeccable	art	design	,	tailored	suits	,	embossed	business	cards	and	designer	glasses	,	she	found	the	precise	visual	counterpart	to	ellis'	hyper	detailed	take	on	consumer	culture	.	bored	,	introverted	characters	with	zero	empathy	can	be	compelling	on	the	page	,	but	it	doesn't	always	translate	to	the	screen	.	christian	bale's	mannered	performance	as	psycho's	killer	patrick	bateman	was	appropriately	deadpan	.	would	that	declan	thurman	(	uma's	brother	)	showed	such	restraint	filling	the	same	role	in	exit	.	he	blows	line	readings	with	a	distracting	assortment	of	eyebrow	and	lip	twitches	.	see	,	i'm	really	crazy	!	there's	nothing	hammy	about	ellis'	sparse	writing	style	,	so	why	can't	thurman	resist	maniacal	laughter	when	describing	a	girl's	head	on	a	stick	?	by	discussing	the	"	meaning	"	of	his	books	,	ellis	only	winds	up	reducing	them	to	facile	morality	lessons	.	he	also	eats	up	screen	time	defending	his	prose	from	vicious	critics	,	often	protesting	far	too	much	for	comfort	.	i	don't	hate	women	!	american	psycho	is	a	feminist	tract	!	less	than	zero	was	not	autobiographical	!	it's	a	sensationalized	version	of	my	post	college	years	.	this	vain	little	man	seems	to	care	an	awful	lot	about	what	people	think	of	him	.	oh	,	go	ahead	!	try	telling	him	that	and	he'll	retreat	back	into	a	banal	shell	of	doublespeak	.	as	one	critic	points	out	,	it's	almost	impossible	to	discuss	ellis'	flaws	without	him	embracing	them	as	part	of	his	integrity	.	of	course	it's	shallow	,	of	course	it's	nihilistic	!	that's	the	world	he	created	.	see	how	slippery	he	is	?	what	was	that	great	bill	murray	quote	from	rushmore	?	"	money	can	buy	a	lot	of	things	,	but	it	can't	buy	you	backbone	.	take	dead	aim	at	the	rich	kids	!	"	i	don't	think	i	ever	truly	appreciated	that	slice	of	wisdom	until	ellis	got	in	my	face	.	hey	bret	:	here's	a	quarter	.	go	call	someone	who	cares	.	and	pass	the	amphetamines	.	fast	.	you're	losing	me	.
neg	a	secret	society	so	powerful	it	can	get	away	with	murder	.	a	secret	society	so	exclusive	it	firebrands	everyone	who	joins	with	its	mark	.	a	secret	society	so	secret	.	.	.	it	has	a	big	logo	up	on	top	of	the	building	!	?	you	know	something	is	rotten	with	the	skulls	right	from	the	get	go	.	i	mean	,	what	self	respecting	prep	school	ivy	league	snob	would	join	an	organization	with	a	name	as	stupid	as	"	the	skulls	"	?	well	,	luke	(	joshua	jackson	)	would	be	,	for	one	.	only	he's	no	preppie	.	he's	a	"	townie	"	with	no	money	,	but	even	though	he's	of	the	lower	classes	,	since	he's	such	a	good	rower	(	yes	,	"	the	skulls	,	"	i	get	it	)	,	he's	a	shoo	in	for	the	secret	society	.	a	mysterious	invitation	arrives	,	and	luke	is	whisked	into	a	world	of	power	and	money	,	where	men	in	red	robes	usher	in	beautiful	women	for	the	taking	at	tuxedoed	parties	.	before	you	can	utter	"	fidelio	,	"	luke	has	become	one	of	them	.	luke	is	soon	partnered	with	a	"	soul	mate	"	(	not	making	that	up	)	,	caleb	mandrake	(	meet	the	deedles'	paul	walker	)	with	whom	he	is	supposed	to	keep	no	secrets	.	but	uh	oh	!	when	luke's	roommate	gets	jealous	and	threatens	to	expose	the	entire	society	when	he	steals	caleb's	key	to	the	secret	chambers	(	remember	,	that	big	skull	on	the	roof	points	the	way	in	)	.	a	cover	up	ensues	and	luke	romances	"	popular	"	star	leslie	bibb	,	and	then	come	a	grand	series	of	plot	twists	so	asinine	you'll	want	to	join	in	with	the	laughter	and	mockery	of	the	audience	if	only	doing	so	didn't	make	this	movie	even	worse	.	its	desperate	earnestness	makes	it	even	more	laughable	(	with	none	other	than	craig	t	.	"	coach	"	nelson	lording	over	it	all	)	,	and	by	the	time	45	minutes	are	up	,	you'll	probably	be	ready	to	leave	.	i	know	i	was	.	unfortunately	,	teens	don't	read	movie	reviews	,	so	this	critique	will	likely	be	lost	on	anyone	who	cares	.	would	that	they	would	put	their	collective	foot	down	.	the	last	thing	we	need	is	another	bad	movie	that	simply	serves	as	an	excuse	to	sell	a	soundtrack	.
neg	directed	by	:	andrzej	bartkowiak	written	by	:	eric	bernt	(	i	)	and	mitchell	kapner	cast	:	jet	li	,	aalyah	,	delroy	lindo	,	dmx	mpaa	:	rated	r	for	violence	,	some	language	and	brief	nudity	.	runtime	:	usa	:	115	in	our	time	.	in	our	modern	world	,	where	the	cool	rule	,	it's	hard	to	imagine	that	shakespeare	is	becoming	'the	man'	.	and	yet	film	after	film	,	after	film	,	is	based	on	his	everlasting	magic	.	in	warner	brothers'	latest	production	,	shakespeare	is	kicking	ass	to	a	rap	beat	,	while	his	magic	and	intelligence	slowly	fades	away	.	though	the	producers	of	the	matrix	have	vaguely	based	their	picture	on	william	shakespeare's	'romeo	and	juliet'	,	its	title	sequence	with	a	frightening	rap	song	and	a	black	limo	making	its	way	through	the	dark	streets	of	new	york	,	is	very	hard	to	associate	with	shakespeare's	poetry	.	the	film	takes	place	during	a	silent	war	between	the	two	major	mafia	families	in	the	city	the	afro	americans	against	the	chinese	.	the	youngest	son	of	a	chinese	mafia	chieftain	is	found	murdered	.	the	afro	americans	are	immediately	suspected	,	but	a	peace	treaty	is	signed	between	the	two	godfathers	.	it	is	at	this	point	that	han	(	the	romeo	of	the	story	)	finds	out	about	his	brother's	death	.	escaping	from	a	prison	in	china	,	he	returns	to	united	states	to	avenge	his	brother's	fate	.	but	before	he	can	restore	justice	with	his	kung	fu	kicks	,	he	falls	in	love	with	a	mysterious	beauty	.	the	only	problem	is	that	she	is	the	daughter	of	his	enemy	.	.	there's	only	a	weak	echo	of	shakespeare's	talent	in	this	disappointing	production	.	and	there	are	more	problems	besides	its	title	.	of	course	we	don't	call	it	a	deformation	of	a	great	masterpiece	.	we	call	it	'modernization'	.	it	seems	that	the	producers	fear	that	the	audience	will	not	respond	to	lyrics	,	without	any	car	chases	and	gun	fights	.	this	lack	of	respect	for	the	audience	i	find	very	disturbing	.	kenneth	brannagh	has	already	proven	that	shakespeare	doesn't	need	to	be	updated	,	because	his	tales	are	grounded	in	the	basics	of	life	and	human	nature	.	and	as	long	as	love	,	hate	,	honesty	and	corruption	do	exist	,	everyone	will	understand	and	embrace	shakespeare	.	i	must	admit	that	i	found	'rome	must	die'	very	confusing	.	i	can	forgive	andrzej	bartkowiak	,	since	it	is	his	first	attempt	at	directing	.	he	manages	to	create	an	incredible	atmosphere	and	directs	with	a	firm	precision	.	unfortunately	he	completely	forgot	about	character	and	story	developments	.	his	latest	picture	is	therefore	visually	impressive	,	but	intellectually	hollow	.	the	love	story	between	han	(	jet	li	)	and	trish	(	aalyah	)	,	and	the	mafia	intrigues	are	undeveloped	and	simplified	.	jet	li	is	one	of	the	most	amazing	fighters	to	ever	hit	the	silver	screen	and	aalyah	has	a	magical	voice	.	their	achievement	save	this	film	from	being	completely	braindead	,	but	they	are	not	actors	,	and	therefore	can	not	act	.	they	are	nothing	more	than	two	celebrities	put	together	.	the	other	actors	,	including	isaiah	washington	,	russell	wong	,	henry	o	and	dmx	all	give	the	standard	mediocre	performances	.	delroy	lindo	is	the	only	one	that	projects	a	coherent	image	of	reality	.	but	there's	more	than	acting	to	worry	about	.	even	with	li's	incredible	skills	in	martial	arts	,	the	action	scenes	(	though	technically	excellent	)	are	too	long	and	story	updates	simply	embarrassing	.	to	make	a	long	story	short	:	'romeo	must	die'	is	not	intelligent	enough	to	be	a	thriller	,	not	sensual	enough	to	be	a	love	story	and	too	serious	to	be	a	fun	action	film	.	it	is	certain	that	bartkowiak	would	be	much	better	off	with	o	this	embarrassing	and	completely	unnecessary	parallel	to	'romeo	and	juliet'	,	so	the	film	is	completely	stuck	not	sure	of	what	to	be	.	and	in	the	end	it's	nothing	.	there	are	no	performances	worthy	of	notice	,	no	interesting	character	or	story	surprises	.	so	again	,	the	only	good	thing	about	it	is	its	technical	achievement	.	this	film	can	boast	of	great	sound	,	fast	paced	editing	,	solid	cinematography	and	some	very	well	coordinated	action	sequences	.	the	music	is	another	factor	that	prevents	you	from	leaving	the	theatre	.	it	is	mostly	provided	by	aalyah's	enchanting	voice	and	several	carefully	inserted	rap	songs	by	various	artists	,	that	create	a	kind	of	'ghetto	feel'	to	it	.	but	when	i	think	back	,	it's	not	much	i	remember	from	this	'production'	.	as	in	almost	every	summer	movie	,	there	are	some	interesting	scenes	,	but	most	of	the	moments	that	i	remember	are	associated	with	massive	special	effects	.	it	is	not	a	film	that	will	get	any	attention	for	its	artistic	qualities	,	simply	because	it	doesn't	have	any	.	for	someone	who	has	never	read	shakespeare	,	it's	another	popcorn	film	.	for	those	of	us	who	has	,	it's	a	waste	of	money	,	time	and	brain	cells	.
neg	director	:	luis	llosa	writer	:	alexandra	solos	(	based	on	the	novel	by	john	shirley	)	starring	:	sylvester	stallone	,	sharon	stone	,	james	woods	,	rod	steiger	,	eric	roberts	sylvester	stallone	has	made	some	crap	films	in	his	lifetime	,	but	this	has	got	to	be	one	of	the	worst	.	a	totally	dull	story	that	thinks	it	can	use	various	explosions	to	make	it	interesting	,	"	the	specialist	"	is	about	as	exciting	as	an	episode	of	"	dragnet	,	"	and	about	as	well	acted	.	even	some	attempts	at	film	noir	mood	are	destroyed	by	a	sappy	script	,	stupid	and	unlikable	characters	,	and	just	plain	nothingness	.	who	knew	a	big	explosion	could	be	so	boring	and	anti	climactic	?	unless	you	saw	"	blown	away	"	.	.	.	"	the	specliast	"	of	the	title	is	none	other	than	action	star	sylvester	stallone	(	in	comeback	19	,	i	think	)	,	who	plays	a	quiet	,	hermit	like	bomber	who	was	once	a	bomb	expert	with	the	army	or	something	,	but	who	suffered	a	change	of	heart	when	he	and	his	assistant	(	james	woods	,	who	shows	us	exactly	what	over	the	top	is	,	other	than	another	bad	sly	film	)	accidentally	killed	some	innocent	people	during	a	job	.	his	credo	is	killing	bad	people	,	not	innocents	.	and	that's	why	he	makes	big	bombs	.	so	anyway	,	into	his	life	steps	the	seductive	sharon	stone	,	who	is	basically	the	girlfriend	moll	of	the	stupid	son	(	eric	roberts	)	of	a	cuban	miami	kingpin	(	rod	steiger	,	in	an	indecipherable	accent	,	which	is	sometimes	cuban	,	sometimes	brando	,	sometimes	scottish	,	etc	)	.	turns	out	sharon	is	actually	using	her	boyfriend	so	she	can	kill	him	,	since	he	killed	her	parents	when	she	was	young	.	so	she	calls	sly	,	leaves	messages	with	him	,	sends	him	e	mail	,	etc	,	about	planting	a	bomb	to	kill	roberts	,	which	sly	listens	to	obsessively	,	and	while	he	works	out	naked	.	yea	.	also	into	his	life	,	though	again	,	comes	woods	,	who	has	been	tipped	off	by	stone	to	catch	sly	.	using	the	cops	,	he	tries	to	set	up	traps	,	none	which	really	work	,	so	when	sly	calls	him	,	he	goes	ballisitic	on	his	ass	over	the	phone	,	getting	so	worked	up	by	saying	his	must	be	improvised	speeches	that	he	seems	to	pop	the	vein	in	his	head	wide	open	.	these	are	the	most	exciting	scenes	in	the	film	,	and	woods	becomes	the	only	ounce	of	entertainment	in	the	film	.	the	film	tries	to	offer	us	a	moody	film	noir	,	except	with	explosions	,	but	comes	up	completely	snake	eyes	.	it's	just	a	pretend	film	noir	,	making	it	a	big	waste	of	time	.	and	for	action	buffs	,	the	action	scenes	are	pretty	lame	,	with	some	really	unrealistic	looking	special	effects	(	a	penthouse	being	blown	off	of	a	hotel	looks	like	a	piece	of	cardboard	falling	into	a	tub	)	.	then	there's	the	much	discussed	sex	scene	between	sly	and	stone	,	which	are	about	as	mispaired	a	couple	as	rachel	and	ross	on	"	friends	.	"	their	sex	scene	is	more	nauseating	then	sexy	,	because	it	shows	us	more	of	sly	than	stone	.	now	let's	guess	who	we'd	rather	see	naked	,	okay	?	stone's	small	but	perky	breasts	,	which	we've	seen	more	times	than	harvey	keitel's	dick	,	or	stallone's	veiny	ass	,	which	isn't	usually	shown	for	a	very	good	reason	?	i	know	i	can't	really	judge	it	as	a	flaw	of	the	film	,	but	come	on	.	the	worst	flaw	of	the	film	is	this	:	it's	boring	.	i	mean	,	i	was	on	caffeine	when	watching	it	,	but	my	friend	fell	asleep	only	to	be	woken	up	by	james	woods	ranting	.	but	a	good	movie	does	not	james	woods	going	nuts	make	.	if	you're	in	for	some	fun	action	,	rent	sly's	earlier	"	demolition	man	,	"	which	sucks	too	,	but	in	a	much	more	entertaining	fashion	.	skip	this	dull	film	,	unless	you	want	to	see	woods	,	or	make	fun	of	steiger's	accent	,	or	see	stone's	breasts	again	.
neg	fact	that	charles	bronson	represents	one	of	the	most	important	movie	icons	of	the	1980s	represents	one	of	the	biggest	and	almost	tragic	ironies	of	that	decade	.	tragedy	lies	in	the	fact	that	the	icon	status	was	earned	less	by	quality	of	his	work	in	movies	,	but	the	quantity	.	most	of	those	movies	were	produced	by	cannon	group	,	company	led	by	israeli	producers	menahem	golan	and	yoram	globus	.	those	two	men	probably	thought	that	they	could	be	the	next	roger	corman	,	b	movie	mentors	of	future	hollywood	legends	.	unfortunately	,	that	didn't	happened	,	and	when	cannon	finally	went	bankrupt	at	the	end	of	the	decade	,	behind	it	stood	the	huge	pile	of	cinematic	garbage	,	that	would	require	at	least	few	centuries	before	it	reaches	the	camp	appeal	.	sadly	for	bronson	,	that	garbage	also	contained	numerous	movies	in	which	that	capable	character	actor	and	action	hero	of	the	1970s	tried	to	raise	their	worth	simply	by	being	the	main	lead	,	and	lowering	his	own	reputation	in	process	.	on	the	other	hand	,	bronson	could	take	comfort	in	a	fact	that	those	movies	were	extremely	popular	,	especially	among	the	audience	3	or	4	times	younger	than	bronson	himself	.	one	of	such	movies	that	seriously	marred	bronson's	reputation	is	death	wish	3	,	third	sequel	in	the	series	which	began	with	death	wish	in	1974	.	in	the	original	movie	,	bronson	played	paul	kersey	,	mild	mannered	new	york	architect	who	turns	into	deadly	street	vigilante	after	his	family	fell	victim	to	urban	violence	.	that	movie	was	far	from	masterpiece	;	yet	,	in	it	the	director	michael	winner	was	skillfully	offering	the	cinematic	remedy	for	very	real	disease	of	growing	crime	rates	of	the	time	(	on	the	same	lines	like	siegel	in	dirty	harry	)	.	unfortunately	,	six	years	later	cannon	group	got	rights	to	the	character	of	paul	kersey	and	began	destroying	it	by	pumping	out	sequels	;	even	the	presence	of	its	original	director	didn't	stop	the	rapid	decline	of	the	quality	.	death	wish	3	begins	when	kersey	comes	to	visit	an	old	friend	,	living	in	the	urban	wasteland	of	east	new	york	,	populated	by	young	criminals	and	people	too	old	or	too	poor	to	move	out	.	before	the	reunion	,	kersey's	friend	falls	victim	to	the	street	gang	led	by	evil	fraker	(	played	by	gavan	o'herlihy	,	probably	the	only	noteworthy	role	in	the	film	)	.	kersey	decides	to	avenge	his	death	and	slowly	prepares	for	his	crusade	,	while	the	police	inspector	shriker	(	ed	lauter	)	,	ants	to	use	him	as	a	secret	weapon	in	his	losing	war	against	the	urban	crime	.	bronson	,	the	main	asset	in	this	movie	,	plays	the	character	who	is	nothing	more	than	an	efficient	killing	machine	.	although	bronson's	charisma	does	help	in	overcoming	some	implausibilities	(	single	man	in	his	60s	and	armed	with	a	single	pistol	manages	to	wipe	out	dozens	of	opponents	with	superior	firepower	)	,	the	lack	of	emotions	or	bronson's	own	commitment	could	be	seen	in	a	very	few	lines	spoken	in	a	film	.	the	movie	authors	were	somewhat	aware	of	that	emotional	shallowness	,	so	they	added	romantic	interest	for	their	hero	public	defender	played	by	deborah	raffin	and	conveniently	terminated	in	order	to	give	some	more	motives	for	kersey's	crusade	.	on	the	other	hand	,	emotions	are	much	better	played	by	confronting	law	abiding	,	yet	ethnically	stereotyped	citizens	with	their	daily	nemesis	of	street	punks	ruthless	enough	to	exercise	their	reign	of	terror	on	the	entire	city	blocks	,	and	stupid	enough	to	be	killed	in	droves	by	kersey	.	unfortunately	,	michael	winner	doesn't	know	how	to	work	out	the	plot	,	and	after	torturing	the	viewers	with	mostly	uninteresting	characters	and	cliched	and	formulaic	situations	,	ends	this	movie	with	a	bang	.	the	big	showdown	at	the	end	that	turns	east	new	york	into	the	sarajevo	like	battle	zone	is	probably	the	worst	part	of	the	movie	,	because	of	the	poor	editing	and	the	cheap	sets	and	props	that	give	away	the	low	budget	.	in	short	,	this	movie	could	be	recommended	only	to	the	most	fanatical	charles	bronson	fans	or	for	the	people	who	are	already	desperate	for	1980s	nostalgia	.	(	special	note	for	trekkies	:	marina	sirtis	,	the	actress	who	played	counsellor	deanna	troi	in	star	trek	:	the	next	generation	could	be	spotted	in	a	small	role	of	portorican	wife	)	.
neg	year	:	2000	.	starring	jim	carrey	,	renee	zellweger	,	robert	forster	,	chris	cooper	,	anthony	anderson	,	mongo	brownlee	,	jerod	mixon	,	michael	bowman	,	traylor	howard	,	tony	cox	.	written	by	peter	farrelly	,	mike	cerrone	,	and	bobby	farrelly	.	directed	by	bobby	farrelly	and	peter	farrelly	.	rated	r	.	it	seemed	like	the	perfect	concept	.	what	better	for	the	farrelly	brothers	,	famous	for	writing	and	directing	comedies	with	offensive	subject	matter	,	than	to	make	a	movie	about	a	guy	with	a	split	personality	?	it's	exactly	the	sort	of	thing	the	brothers	relish	:	poking	fun	at	something	serious	(	in	this	case	mental	illness	)	,	throwing	all	care	to	the	wind	to	get	a	laugh	.	jim	carrey's	signed	on	too	?	even	better	.	the	national	alliance	for	the	mentally	ill	even	helped	out	by	levying	complaints	against	the	brothers'	new	film	before	its	opening	,	claiming	it	was	misrepresenting	the	condition	of	split	personality	,	labeling	it	incorrectly	as	"	schizophrenia	,	"	and	so	forth	.	such	a	protest	seemed	like	just	the	sort	of	thing	that	would	,	of	course	,	only	add	more	fuel	to	the	farrelly	brothers'	fire	,	proving	that	some	people	just	couldn't	take	a	joke	,	and	that	the	farrellys	would	be	helping	the	more	enlightened	viewers	to	yet	another	dose	of	their	brilliantly	subversive	comedy	.	yes	,	it	all	seemed	perfect	,	but	one	thing	went	wrong	:	their	movie	isn't	funny	.	it's	not	for	lack	of	trying	.	the	farrellys	utilize	in	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	their	most	high	concept	premise	ever	:	carrey	plays	charlie	baileygaites	,	a	man	who	after	being	dumped	by	his	wife	for	a	midget	limo	driver	,	decides	to	bury	all	his	aggressive	feelings	deep	down	inside	and	never	release	them	.	this	,	of	course	,	means	all	his	neighbors	exploit	his	entirely	too	forgiving	nature	,	making	his	job	as	a	rhode	island	state	trooper	increasingly	difficult	.	soon	enough	,	charlie's	repressed	aggression	manifests	itself	into	a	second	,	independent	personality	named	hank	,	a	deep	voiced	,	boorish	ogre	unafraid	of	taking	the	assertive	actions	his	predecessor	had	been	unable	to	muster	.	this	guy	isn't	above	crashing	a	car	through	the	wall	of	the	barber	shop	in	which	he's	been	insulted	,	or	holding	a	little	girl's	head	underwater	because	she	refused	to	stop	jump	roping	in	the	street	.	then	things	start	getting	lost	in	the	most	complicated	plot	the	farrellys	have	ever	attempted	,	and	the	film	runs	off	its	tracks	.	some	have	suggested	that	this	isn't	a	problem	,	because	the	farrelly	brothers'	brand	of	humor	doesn't	require	plot	to	work	.	they're	wrong	,	of	course	:	plot	was	greatly	instrumental	in	building	up	the	kind	of	rollicking	comic	energy	that	infused	the	farrellys'	last	effort	,	1996's	"	there's	something	about	mary	.	"	(	1999's	"	outside	providence	"	was	technically	an	earlier	project	.	)	the	brothers'	earlier	film	wasn't	funny	merely	because	it	contained	outrageous	gags	(	despite	what	some	newsmagazine	articles	would	have	you	believe	)	,	but	rather	because	its	most	outrageous	gags	were	entirely	unexpected	.	in	"	mary	,	"	the	farrellys	managed	several	times	to	pull	off	a	neat	sleight	of	hand	trick	:	they'd	have	you	thinking	the	story	was	going	one	way	,	then	reveal	its	real	direction	in	delightfully	surprising	fashion	.	"	me	,	myself	irene	,	"	by	contrast	,	seems	to	have	been	made	by	folks	who	looked	at	"	mary	"	and	saw	only	the	surface	grossness	,	missing	all	of	the	subtle	machinations	that	really	made	it	work	.	having	been	produced	by	the	same	guys	who	made	"	mary	,	"	"	irene	"	seems	like	an	even	bigger	disappointment	.	the	brothers	pile	on	the	offensive	humor	,	taking	shots	at	race	,	midgets	,	albinos	,	mental	illness	,	and	all	manner	of	bathroom	jokes	.	but	they	haven't	come	up	with	a	way	to	make	any	of	it	fresh	most	of	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	comes	off	as	rote	,	by	the	numbers	,	adolescent	comedy	.	the	plot	,	with	carrey	forced	to	drive	alleged	fugitive	irene	p	.	waters	(	renee	zellweger	)	,	who's	in	more	trouble	than	anyone	knows	,	back	to	new	york	,	has	an	ending	that's	entirely	predictable	from	the	get	go	.	(	think	charlie	and	irene	will	fall	in	love	?	yeah	,	me	too	.	)	the	farrellys	then	introduce	scores	of	different	characters	,	and	none	of	them	ever	manage	to	do	anything	you	haven't	already	expected	them	to	do	,	no	matter	how	outrageous	their	actions	might	be	.	compared	to	the	curveballs	the	farrellys	are	used	to	throwing	,	this	stuff	is	almost	entirely	soft	tossed	,	presenting	an	obvious	problem	:	when	gross	out	humor	loses	its	shock	value	,	it's	no	longer	funny	,	merely	gross	.	the	jokes	that	do	work	are	milked	over	and	over	until	their	effectiveness	runs	dry	.	take	,	for	example	,	the	subplot	involving	charlie's	three	black	sons	(	anthony	anderson	,	mongo	brownlee	,	jerod	mixon	)	.	the	incongruity	of	it	all	is	funny	for	a	while	,	with	three	burly	black	men	discussing	higher	math	in	ghetto	language	and	white	bread	carrey	mouthing	said	language	with	an	entirely	too	pleasant	smile	on	his	face	.	but	by	the	end	of	the	film	,	they're	still	doing	the	same	schitck	it	hasn't	been	elevated	to	another	,	funnier	level	,	and	it	hasn't	been	dropped	either	.	that's	too	bad	,	because	it	ceases	to	be	amusing	about	halfway	through	.	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	reeks	of	wasted	opportunities	.	there	ought	to	be	more	focus	on	how	other	people	react	to	charlie's	new	personality	,	and	on	how	charlie	deals	with	the	consequences	of	hank's	actions	.	this	doesn't	really	happen	nearly	every	supporting	character	learns	about	charlie's	condition	early	on	,	so	they	don't	have	any	opportunity	to	be	surprised	by	it	.	the	film	throws	what	looks	like	a	patented	farrelly	curve	in	a	scene	towards	the	midway	point	(	involving	an	albino	companion	charlie	and	irene	pick	up	called	,	appropriately	,	"	whitey	"	)	,	but	the	script	doesn't	go	anywhere	with	it	,	instead	leaving	the	thread	twisting	in	the	wind	before	awkwardly	tying	it	up	during	the	climax	.	jim	carrey	is	a	gifted	comedian	,	both	physically	and	vocally	,	but	he's	left	with	nothing	much	to	do	here	except	contort	himself	in	a	manner	similar	to	steve	martin	in	"	all	of	me	.	"	it's	a	great	showcase	of	flexibility	and	split	second	role	shifting	,	but	none	of	it	is	terribly	funny	.	carrey	doesn't	pull	any	stunts	we	don't	expect	him	to	pull	,	and	the	farrellys'	script	doesn't	give	him	anything	else	to	pull	:	the	situations	in	which	he	must	perform	the	role	shifting	aren't	set	up	in	any	meaningful	way	.	perhaps	carrey	can	take	solace	in	the	fact	that	his	supporting	actors	fare	no	better	.	zellweger's	irene	is	not	a	strong	female	lead	mary	in	"	mary	"	may	have	been	part	adolescent	fantasy	,	but	she	was	also	intelligent	and	strong	willed	.	irene	is	nothing	in	particular	,	as	the	film	never	makes	clear	whether	she's	ditzy	,	clever	,	or	neither	.	as	such	,	she	gives	us	nothing	to	latch	onto	as	the	only	"	sane	"	person	in	the	film	.	chris	cooper	is	stuck	playing	exactly	one	note	as	a	corrupt	fbi	agent	,	and	his	character	is	entirely	too	straight	laced	for	a	movie	like	this	.	he	,	like	the	others	,	does	absolutely	nothing	unexpected	.	after	viewing	the	shapeless	mess	that	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	eventually	dissolved	into	,	i	was	stuck	wondering	whether	or	not	the	farrellys	had	outsmarted	themselves	.	maybe	their	kind	of	comedy	can	only	work	for	so	long	until	audiences	get	wise	to	it	and	stop	being	shocked	.	but	i	don't	believe	it	good	filmmakers	find	ways	of	surprising	their	audiences	even	after	people	have	grown	attuned	to	their	style	.	if	the	farrellys	are	indeed	good	,	smart	filmmakers	(	and	i	still	think	they	are	)	,	they'll	rebound	just	fine	.	even	after	that	happens	,	though	,	i'll	still	consider	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	to	be	a	high	caliber	misfire	.
neg	miramax	"	disinvited	"	on	line	media	from	press	screenings	of	scream	3	.	they	ostensibly	feared	that	folks	like	me	would	write	spoiler	filled	reviews	and	post	them	prior	to	the	film's	february	4th	release	date	unsound	reasoning	.	you	see	,	'net	critics	established	enough	to	be	on	any	sort	of	vip	list	are	professionals	miramax	surely	knows	the	difference	between	a	member	of	the	on	line	film	critics	society	(	ofcs	)	and	the	type	of	fanboy	who	posts	spy	reports	at	ain't	it	cool	news	.	no	,	the	mini	major'	was	afraid	we'd	let	a	bigger	cat	out	of	the	bag	than	whodunit	,	that	scream	3	is	a	dismal	conclusion	to	the	beloved	(	by	this	writer	,	at	least	)	franchise	.	something	smells	rotten	in	the	state	of	california	right	from	the	get	go	:	cotton	weary	(	liev	schrieber	)	,	the	former	lover	and	would	be	killer	of	maureen	prescott	,	sidney's	mother	,	is	juggling	phone	calls	in	his	luxury	car	.	(	once	considered	a	danger	to	society	,	weary	now	hosts	his	own	talk	show	,	"	100	cotton	"	,	a	clever	,	if	dated	,	jab	at	american	pop	culture	.	)	of	course	,	a	new	ghostface	dials	him	up	,	and	,	with	memories	of	scream's	unbearably	suspenseful	prologue	in	mind	,	we	immediately	wonder	,	where	is	the	killer	?	the	backseat	?	the	next	car	?	thrilling	prospects	,	to	be	sure	,	but	actually	,	ghostface	is	at	the	weary	residence	,	waiting	for	cotton's	girlfriend	(	kelly	rutheford	)	to	finishing	showering	.	what's	missing	from	this	sequence	,	and	indeed	scream	3's	remaining	frights	(	most	disappointingly	,	the	moment	when	an	ingenue	is	forced	to	hide	in	a	wardrobe	room	filled	with	ghostface	costumes	,	one	of	which	might	spring	to	life	)	,	is	an	elaborate	and	attenuated	payoff	.	our	other	surviving	regulars	have	become	estranged	.	sidney	(	campbell	)	is	living	a	paranoid	existence	of	electronic	gates	and	password	protected	locks	,	while	dewey	(	arquette	)	acts	as	technical	advisor	on	the	second	sequel	to	scream	2's	movie	within	a	movie	,	"	stab	3	"	,	and	gale	weathers	(	cox	arquette	)	headlines	a	gossipy	news	program	.	murder	reunites	them	,	as	knife	wielding	ghostface	stalks	the	set	of	"	stab	3	"	,	imitating	its	sadistic	screenplay	and	his	her	their	own	personal	draft	climaxes	with	sidney's	death	.	the	appeal	of	ghostface's	villainy	is	that	he	she	they	could	be	your	boyfriend	,	your	classmate	,	your	next	door	neighbour	.	.	.	or	a	combination	of	people	.	scream	was	the	first	of	its	kind	:	a	slasher	mystery	,	with	the	guessing	game	not	only	entailing	who	will	be	next	,	but	also	who	is	are	the	perpetrator	(	s	)	and	what	is	are	his	her	their	motive	.	ironic	self	reflection	aside	,	parts	one	and	two	stand	out	in	a	crowd	that	includes	umpteen	friday	the	13th	and	halloween	flicks	because	there's	at	last	articulate	human	beings	behind	the	iconic	costume	.	with	scream	3	,	the	novelty	of	ghostface's	ever	mutating	identity	has	worn	off	some	,	but	the	character	remains	conceptually	potent	.	conceptually	.	the	execution	of	ghostface's	master	plan	this	time	around	is	creaky	,	because	screenwriter	ehren	kruger	has	invented	a	new	mythology	for	the	world	of	sidney	prescott	far	afield	from	what	we'd	come	to	understand	in	scream	and	scream	2	.	the	movie	gets	in	the	silly	habit	of	saying	"	all	bets	are	off	!	"	in	reference	to	the	"	rules	"	of	a	trilogy's	third	act	,	but	there's	a	difference	between	rule	breaking	and	cheating	.	with	the	departure	of	kevin	williamson	,	who	authored	the	previous	screams	as	well	as	a	tidy	outline	for	scream	3	(	that	,	for	reasons	incomprehensible	to	me	,	was	ignored	,	save	the	notion	of	"	stab	3	"	)	,	kruger	needed	to	be	reined	in	tighter	,	and	by	wes	craven	.	craven's	direction	of	scream	3	is	lazy	in	most	respects	.	how	else	to	explain	the	jay	and	silent	bob	cameo	(	the	slacker	duo	of	kevin	smith	movies	)	,	akin	to	seeing	mickey	mouse	pop	up	in	mulan	and	more	distracting	than	funny	.	it	pains	me	to	write	this	,	but	scream	3's	comedy	is	generally	laughless	,	with	the	exception	of	well	timed	performances	by	josh	pais	(	as	a	police	detective	possessed	of	the	same	personality	he	had	as	a	persnickety	teacher	in	craven's	music	of	the	heart	)	,	jamie	kennedy	(	resurrecting	film	geek	randy	for	the	sendoff	he	was	denied	in	scream	2	)	,	and	parker	posey	(	through	sheer	force	of	will	as	a	b	actress	)	.	the	visuals	are	much	weaker	in	part	three	,	as	well	the	occasional	sweeping	gesture	of	peter	deming's	camera	is	a	pale	imitation	of	the	stalking	steadicam	craven	gave	us	twice	before	.	(	aside	:	in	the	wake	of	columbine	,	craven	toned	down	the	violence	significantly	for	scream	3	why	the	sanctimony	,	when	scream	and	scream	2	are	still	readily	available	on	video	store	shelves	?	)	finally	,	marco	beltrami's	music	cues	the	suspense	too	blatantly	do	you	recall	the	tense	chase	at	the	college	radio	station	in	scream	2	?	it's	mostly	silent	.	sting	notes	are	a	whole	lot	more	effective	if	they	spring	from	nowhere	;	here	,	they	act	as	the	crescendos	of	an	incessantly	nerve	jangling	score	.	i	look	at	scream	3	as	coming	from	an	alternative	universe	,	the	same	place	that	birthed	the	godfather	part	iii	and	superman	iii	woefully	out	of	synch	with	its	prequels	,	scream	3	is	a	nightmare	instead	of	nightmarish	,	and	will	likely	put	the	horror	genre	back	in	mothballs	.	the	film	unintentionally	follows	the	unspoken	rule	of	a	trilogy	to	a	t	:	part	three	must	disappoint'	.
neg	starring	casper	van	dien	,	dina	meyer	,	michael	ironside	,	denise	richards	screenplay	by	edward	neumeier	,	based	on	robert	a	.	heinlein's	novel	directed	by	paul	verhoeven	(	if	you	like	this	review	,	and	you	must	have	more	,	visit	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	a	it's	getting	better	.	)	guilt	.	guilt	is	something	i	felt	while	watching	basic	instinct	for	the	ninth	time	;	the	penultimate	t	a	thriller	,	basic	instinct	made	my	last	few	teenage	years	worth	living	.	but	i	know	so	well	that	it's	a	terrible	film	,	made	by	a	terrible	director	incapable	of	feeling	guilt	.	verhoeven	went	on	to	make	the	even	more	offensive	showgirls	and	,	on	november	seventh	,	1997	,	unleashed	starship	troopers	to	innocent	moviegoers	like	me	,	who	cannot	control	the	urge	to	see	giant	bug	movies	.	the	pic	begins	with	the	most	unintentional	laugh	of	the	year	.	a	simple	,	white	on	black	title	card	reads	"	starship	troopers	"	my	friends	and	i	speculated	that	the	night	before	the	prints	were	shipped	,	verhoeven	realized	he	forgot	the	credits	.	is	this	how	a	hundred	million	dollar	movie	should	open	?	were	the	rest	of	the	film	that	subdued	.	.	.	starship	troopers	is	about	a	group	of	white	,	blond	haired	himbos	and	bimbos	who	all	have	spanish	last	names	.	they	graduate	high	school	,	join	the	military	,	and	then	,	rather	curiously	,	decide	to	travel	to	an	alien	planet	and	destroy	all	lifeforms	on	that	planet	.	the	story	is	so	incomprehensible	,	and	told	so	bombastically	,	it's	akin	to	129	minutes	of	someone	screaming	punishments	at	you	in	a	foreign	tongue	.	(	aside	,	club	lovers	will	be	happy	to	know	that	dance	music	hasn't	changed	in	the	future	.	)	one	plus	:	starship	troopers	contains	some	very	funny	sequences	,	specifically	the	newsreels	of	the	future	.	hysterically	funny	,	actually	.	but	the	cynicism	of	these	reports	left	me	curious	as	to	whether	verhoeven	felt	pessimistic	about	the	story	in	between	.	the	storytelling	lacks	focus	,	to	say	the	least	.	the	politics	of	the	film	are	scary	.	the	actions	of	the	major	female	characters	are	dictated	by	their	out	of	control	libidos	.	there's	even	a	creepy	sex	scene	:	the	lovely	dina	meyer	makes	out	,	nude	,	with	the	sickening	van	dien	while	half	her	face	is	covered	by	her	opaque	sweater	,	just	the	way	he	seems	to	like	it	.	i	use	the	term	sickening	because	van	dien	is	the	least	appealing	actor	i've	encountered	in	a	big	budget	picture	;	all	chiseled	features	and	machismo	,	he	even	barks	a	eulogy	at	a	funeral	like	military	orders	.	of	course	,	verhoeven's	probably	the	one	to	blame	,	and	perhaps	i'm	jealous	because	i'm	so	disgusting	.	at	any	rate	,	a	movie	called	starship	troopers	shouldn't	be	about	sex	.	exactly	ten	years	ago	,	verhoeven	made	robocop	,	which	was	about	nothing	but	skillfully	made	and	oddly	moving	.	and	r	rated	,	despite	its	goofy	premise	.	maybe	it's	asking	too	much	for	verhoeven	to	make	a	pg	movie	,	then	he's	a	master	of	insipid	violence	.	however	,	ten	year	old	boys	would	adore	starship	troopers	if	they	could	see	it	.
neg	an	alan	smithee	film	:	burn	hollywood	burn	rating	:	1	10	so	bad	it	hurts	to	watch	for	more	movie	reviews	and	trivia	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	token	director	alan	smithee	steals	the	only	copy	of	his	film	"	trio	"	from	the	studio	,	after	they	complete	the	"	final	cut	"	without	him	.	he	threatens	to	burn	the	film	reel	if	they	do	not	allow	him	to	keep	his	vision	.	critique	:	wow	.	i	really	can't	remember	the	last	time	a	movie	sucked	on	so	many	levels	!	the	"	comedy	"	in	this	film	is	pathetic	,	obvious	and	dated	(	oj	simpson	jokes	galore	)	.	the	plot	is	uninteresting	,	boring	and	bad	.	the	structure	of	the	film	is	annoying	,	repetitive	and	pretentious	.	the	acting	is	pretty	bad	,	especially	jackie	chan	,	who	can't	act	to	save	his	life	.	the	cameos	are	lame	and	seem	forced	,	and	the	ending	blows	chunks	.	all	in	all	,	this	movie	believes	itself	to	be	a	clever	,	humorous	and	edgy	look	behind	the	closed	doors	of	hollywood	,	but	comes	across	as	a	boring	,	stupid	and	completely	unentertaining	piece	of	shite	.	i	love	to	see	movies	about	hollywood	shenanigans	,	but	this	one	bites	the	big	one	.	see	it	if	you	like	to	watch	really	bad	movies	,	otherwise	skip	it	,	because	it	will	just	have	you	hating	every	star	that	makes	an	appearance	in	it	.	luckily	for	us	all	,	this	mess	only	lasts	about	80	minutes	,	and	miramax	honcho	harvey	weinstein	plays	a	lead	faced	detective	.	by	the	way	,	is	there	any	reason	why	the	studio	or	the	producer	couldn't	have	cut	another	version	of	the	film	by	the	way	of	all	the	filmed	stock	that	was	left	over	?	who	knows	,	who	cares	,	this	"	satire	"	sucks	the	bag	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	ironically	,	the	original	director	of	this	film	,	arthur	hiller	,	also	requested	his	name	be	taken	off	the	credits	and	replaced	by	the	dga's	alan	smithee	moniker	.	this	was	after	the	film's	production	company	,	cinergi	pictures	,	preferred	the	cut	made	by	producer	writer	joe	eszterhas	to	his	.	the	original	script	of	this	film	included	arnold	schwarzenegger	and	bruce	willis	.	eszterhas	announced	through	the	media	during	post	production	that	cinergi	pictures	didn't	have	the	money	to	pay	for	soundtrack	.	he	said	that	he	would	finance	the	soundtrack	from	his	own	money	and	asked	to	submit	tracks	for	it	to	him	.	he	received	9	,	200	cds	and	cassettes	from	mostly	unknown	and	unsigned	artists	,	listened	to	all	that	was	sent	(	at	least	a	couple	of	tracks	from	each	record	)	and	compiled	the	soundtrack	.	this	film	practically	swept	the	"	razzie	awards	"	in	1999	,	given	out	to	the	worst	of	all	movie	categories	of	the	year	,	with	no	less	than	the	"	worst	picture	"	award	,	the	"	worst	screenplay	"	(	joe	eszterhas	)	,	the	"	worst	supporting	actor	"	(	joe	eszterhas	)	,	the	"	worst	new	star	"	(	joe	eszterhas	tied	with	jerry	springer	)	and	the	"	worst	original	song	"	(	"	i	wanna	be	mike	ovitz	!	"	as	written	by	joe	eszterhas	)	.
neg	see	this	review	as	it	was	intended	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a	cast	:	faye	dunaway	,	helen	slater	,	hart	bochner	,	peter	cook	,	mia	farrow	,	marc	mcclure	,	brenda	vaccaro	,	peter	o'toole	,	matt	frewer	written	by	:	david	odell	directed	by	:	jeannot	szwarc	running	time	:	124	minutes	138	minutes	the	following	review	contains	spoilers	"	it's	just	.	.	.	the	way	.	.	.	we	are	.	"	a	rapist	(	matt	frewer	)	responds	to	supergirl's	(	helen	slater	)	query	as	to	why	she's	being	attacked	,	an	example	of	the	mind	numbingly	bad	dialogue	in	supergirl	.	i'll	admit	it	.	.	.	i	love	superman	iii	.	i	know	it's	hated	amongst	the	superman	faithful	who	dismiss	it	as	nothing	more	than	a	vehicle	for	richard	pryor	,	but	i	still	think	it's	a	worthy	addition	to	the	man	of	steel	franchise	.	supergirl	,	a	spin	off	film	of	sorts	from	the	series'	same	producers	(	alexander	and	ilya	salkind	)	,	doesn't	even	rival	superman	iii	in	terms	of	quality	,	let	alone	superman	or	superman	ii	.	supergirl	lost	me	from	the	opening	scenes	and	went	steadily	downhill	for	the	rest	of	its	two	hour	plus	running	time	.	as	the	film	begins	we	see	the	residents	of	argo	city	,	a	commune	like	place	consisting	of	refugees	from	krypton	which	resides	in	"	inner	space	"	,	go	about	their	daily	lives	.	ok	.	.	.	what	?	so	these	are	exiles	from	krypton	,	which	blew	up	right	?	were	they	living	there	before	krypton	exploded	?	how	do	you	get	to	"	inner	space	"	?	this	whole	"	inner	space	"	notion	is	never	explained	,	particularly	in	terms	of	how	these	people	get	information	from	the	outside	world	.	how	do	they	know	where	superman	went	?	how	do	they	know	he	took	the	name	clark	kent	and	now	works	at	the	daily	planet	?	these	kinds	of	things	frustrate	the	hell	out	of	me	.	argo	city	is	kept	running	by	a	power	source	called	the	omegahedron	.	one	day	the	founder	of	argo	city	,	zaltar	(	peter	o'	toole	)	,	gives	the	omegahedron	to	superman's	cousin	,	kara	(	helen	slater	)	,	for	use	as	inspiration	in	her	art	.	kara	uses	it	to	create	a	bug	like	thing	which	immediately	crashes	through	the	layer	of	"	whatever	"	that	protects	the	city	.	in	the	chaos	,	the	omegahedron	sails	out	through	the	opening	,	dooming	the	argonians	to	death	.	.	.	in	three	days	time	,	or	something	.	kara	then	climbs	into	a	pod	which	zaltar	had	designed	for	interdimensional	travel	and	chases	after	the	omegahedron	to	save	her	world	.	the	power	source	travels	directly	to	earth	and	lands	in	the	bowl	of	dip	belonging	to	a	minor	league	witch	named	selena	(	faye	dunaway	)	who	,	immediately	before	her	dip	was	ruined	,	announced	her	desires	to	rule	the	world	to	her	sometimes	warlock	boyfriend	nigel	(	peter	cook	)	.	selena	somehow	knows	that	this	ball	from	the	sky	will	help	her	with	her	evil	plans	,	and	she	sets	out	to	achieve	world	domination	.	selena	is	unaware	of	course	that	kara	has	also	arrived	on	earth	,	and	that	she's	arrived	as	supergirl	(	complete	with	appropriate	costume	)	.	supergirl	emerges	from	the	bottom	of	a	lake	when	she	arrives	.	ok	.	.	.	huh	?	why	does	the	omegahedron	fall	from	the	sky	but	supergirl	shoots	out	of	the	bottom	of	a	lake	?	attention	movie	:	explain	yourself	!	i'm	sorry	,	i	can	only	suspend	disbelief	so	much	.	i	can't	buy	into	any	of	this	nonsense	just	because	the	movie	wants	me	to	.	knowing	that	she	needs	a	secret	identity	,	supergirl	basically	"	wills	"	herself	into	a	school	girl	outfit	(	complete	with	a	different	hairstyle	)	,	picks	the	alias	linda	lee	and	enrolls	into	school	.	she's	given	her	dorm	assignment	,	and	who	happens	to	be	her	roommate	?	lois	lane's	sister	,	lucy	.	ok	,	coincidence	is	one	thing	folks	,	but	we're	getting	really	contrived	now	.	what	follows	are	some	generic	all	girls	school	hijinks	.	.	.	complete	with	evil	bully	girls	(	mean	for	no	reason	,	of	course	)	and	even	a	shower	scene	(	!	)	.	best	moment	though	comes	when	supergirl	decides	to	put	a	bra	on	over	her	school	uniform	and	starts	stuffing	it	with	socks	.	at	this	point	i'm	rapidly	wondering	why	i'm	bothering	with	this	nonsense	.	there	is	some	credit	to	give	to	the	film	however	.	one	lengthy	and	elaborate	sequence	featuring	an	"	evil	"	bulldozer	destroying	a	small	town	in	search	of	its	"	prey	"	is	very	well	done	.	also	,	its	commendable	to	see	genders	reversed	in	the	film	,	whereas	the	women	have	all	the	power	and	the	men	are	merely	objects	and	tools	.	hart	bochner	(	die	hard	)	is	particularly	fun	as	kara's	love	interest	,	a	lovesick	landscaper	who	is	under	a	spell	cast	by	selena	(	although	he	is	unfortunately	part	of	one	of	the	film's	more	ridiculous	moments	,	when	he	has	to	be	rescued	from	being	tapped	by	some	"	menacing	"	bumper	cars	)	.	then	there	were	numerous	little	things	that	bothered	me	.	the	flying	effects	are	never	convincing	for	a	moment	.	.	.	it's	all	too	obvious	that	helen	slater	is	hooked	to	wires	.	instead	of	having	her	look	like	she's	flying	,	the	filmmakers	wanted	her	to	be	"	graceful	"	,	so	she	poses	a	lot	and	does	ballet	type	maneuvers	.	also	,	who	are	the	first	two	humans	to	meet	supergirl	when	she	arrives	on	earth	?	a	pair	of	truck	drivers	rapists	who	immediately	attack	her	and	then	meet	a	"	wacky	"	demise	.	there	is	also	some	rampant	product	placement	in	the	film	,	most	notably	for	popeye's	,	tylenol	,	and	a	w	root	beer	,	with	the	latter	actually	putting	its	logo	on	the	t	shirt	of	one	of	the	rapists	(	?	!	)	.	finally	,	just	one	word	:	monsters	.	faye	dunaway	and	peter	o'toole	ham	it	up	unmercifully	,	however	when	o'toole	overacts	he's	entertaining	and	when	dunaway	does	it	she's	annoying	(	her	character	actually	says	the	line	"	seize	them	!	"	at	one	point	)	.	dunaway's	henchmen	(	played	by	peter	cook	and	brenda	vaccaro	)	fare	much	better	,	with	vaccaro	coming	off	best	as	the	equivalent	of	ned	beatty's	otis	character	from	the	first	two	superman	movies	.	helen	slater	effectively	portrays	supergirl	as	the	innocent	,	naive	character	she's	written	to	be	,	as	she's	able	to	gaze	at	flowers	and	bunnies	with	the	right	amount	of	genuine	wonder	to	make	it	believable	.	believability	aside	though	,	it's	still	annoying	.	now	despite	all	this	negativity	(	and	i'm	not	alone	here	.	.	.	supergirl	is	not	a	well	liked	nor	a	well	respected	movie	in	many	circles	)	,	leave	it	to	the	good	people	at	anchor	bay	entertainment	to	actually	make	people	not	only	interested	,	but	excited	about	its	release	on	dvd	!	they	have	released	two	separate	editions	of	the	film	on	dvd	,	to	the	delight	of	many	people	(	including	myself	.	.	.	yet	i'm	still	unclear	as	to	why	,	since	this	movie	is	so	awful	)	.	the	first	and	most	widely	available	dvd	release	features	the	international	version	of	the	film	which	runs	10	minutes	longer	than	the	print	which	ran	in	u	.	s	.	theaters	.	the	movie	is	presented	in	its	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	2	.	35	:	1	,	is	enhanced	for	16x9	televisions	,	and	has	been	remastered	in	full	thx	glory	.	extras	on	the	disc	include	:	a	full	length	audio	commentary	track	with	director	jeannot	szwarc	and	"	special	project	consultant	"	scott	michael	bosco	,	the	excellent	50	minute	documentary	from	1984	called	supergirl	the	making	of	a	feature	(	dig	that	workout	montage	!	)	,	5	trailers	,	3	tv	spots	,	talent	bios	,	in	depth	storyboards	(	accompanied	by	score	from	the	movie	)	,	and	assorted	still	galleries	.	the	transfer	on	this	international	version	is	incredible	.	.	.	you'd	think	you	were	watching	a	new	release	.	images	are	sharp	,	colors	jump	off	the	screen	,	and	the	picture	is	free	of	scratches	or	artifacts	.	only	some	special	effects	sequences	show	the	wear	of	time	,	and	there	just	isn't	much	that	can	be	done	about	that	(	unless	you're	obsessive	like	george	lucas	)	.	the	new	thx	approved	audio	is	loud	and	clear	in	all	the	right	places	,	however	you'll	be	hearing	absurd	dialogue	and	a	mediocre	jerry	goldsmith	score	(	which	is	completely	unrelated	to	john	williams'	classic	superman	theme	and	sounds	better	suited	for	a	cannon	films'	golan	globus	production	)	.	the	commentary	track	featuring	director	szwarc	and	project	consultant	bosco	is	a	step	in	the	right	direction	in	the	evolution	of	audio	commentaries	.	bosco	seems	to	be	an	expert	in	all	things	supergirl	and	is	there	with	szwarc	to	ensure	that	there's	no	dead	air	on	the	track	.	bosco	probes	szwarc	for	information	on	virtually	everyone	and	everything	that	comes	onscreen	,	and	we	learn	a	great	deal	more	about	the	film	as	a	result	of	his	participation	.	although	,	at	times	you	can	tell	that	bosco	is	looking	for	a	specific	response	from	szwarc	,	and	is	surprised	when	he	doesn't	get	that	response	.	we	learn	some	fascinating	tidbits	on	the	track	,	most	notably	the	"	almost	"	appearance	in	the	film	by	christopher	reeve	.	great	detail	is	given	about	superman's	proposed	role	in	the	original	script	before	reeve	(	wisely	)	dropped	out	.	as	it	stands	,	superman	is	written	off	early	on	in	the	film	when	we	hear	a	radio	broadcast	mention	that	he	is	billions	of	light	years	away	on	some	sort	of	peace	mission	.	for	the	sake	of	brevity	,	i	won't	even	get	into	that	one	.	szwarc	also	reveals	that	is	was	the	conscious	decision	of	the	salkinds	(	and	everyone	else	agreed	)	that	supergirl	needed	to	stand	on	its	own	,	replacing	the	science	fiction	of	the	superman	films	with	cutsy	"	whimsical	fantasy	"	nonsense	.	bosco	also	points	out	scenes	not	in	the	american	release	as	they	come	along	,	claiming	that	had	they	been	in	the	original	release	it	would	have	been	a	hit	at	the	box	office	.	again	,	for	the	sake	of	brevity	,	i	won't	even	get	into	that	one	.	anchor	bay	has	also	released	a	limited	edition	(	only	50	,	000	copies	pressed	)	two	disc	set	.	disc	one	contains	everything	mentioned	for	the	regular	release	.	disc	two	features	the	never	before	seen	director's	cut	of	the	film	,	which	runs	138	minutes	long	.	the	additions	mainly	consist	of	scene	extensions	which	don't	add	much	of	note	,	except	for	a	few	moments	which	lengthen	peter	o'toole's	screen	time	(	particularly	during	his	latter	appearances	)	.	the	print	is	rough	in	spots	and	the	sound	is	only	in	mono	,	but	fans	of	the	film	won't	care	.	one	question	though	.	.	.	shouldn't	the	director's	commentary	be	on	the	director's	cut	of	the	film	?	i'd	never	seen	supergirl	before	i	sat	down	to	watch	this	dvd	.	i	was	nine	when	it	was	released	to	theaters	,	and	even	then	i	was	smart	enough	to	inform	my	parents	not	to	take	me	to	see	it	.	so	when	i	popped	the	dvd	into	my	player	and	sat	down	in	my	easy	chair	i	had	no	idea	what	to	expect	.	i	knew	the	film	wasn't	beloved	and	i	never	had	any	interest	in	it	before	,	but	i	was	willing	to	give	it	a	shot	because	of	the	impressive	amount	of	work	put	into	the	disc	.	as	the	disc	began	to	spin	i	was	rather	impressed	with	the	opening	sequence	,	which	made	me	sit	up	and	wonder	if	my	assumptions	all	this	time	could	have	been	wrong	.	come	to	find	out	however	it	was	just	the	chase	digital	stereo	logo	.	.	.	so	i	slunk	back	into	my	seat	as	the	nightmare	started	.	at	the	end	of	the	film	,	supergirl	flies	back	into	the	lake	with	the	omegahedron	,	and	flies	back	to	argo	city	.	ugh	,	i	give	up	.	i'm	surprised	i	even	made	it	to	the	end	of	the	film	not	once	,	not	twice	,	but	three	times	to	review	these	discs	.	supergirl	is	definitely	a	terrific	dvd	package	,	but	a	very	lousy	movie	.	pg
neg	as	the	twin	surfer	dudes	,	stew	and	phil	deedle	,	lay	bandaged	and	unconscious	in	the	hospital	,	phil	comes	to	first	and	chooses	the	coolest	way	to	wake	his	brother	.	yanking	out	his	iv	,	he	uses	it	like	a	water	pistol	to	soak	his	brother's	face	.	this	bit	of	lame	physical	humor	is	typical	of	disney's	meet	the	deedles	,	a	movie	more	to	be	endured	that	watched	.	(	i	stopped	looking	at	my	wife	during	the	screening	,	since	every	time	i	did	,	she'd	start	sticking	her	finger	in	her	throat	.	and	she's	right	,	it	is	that	bad	.	)	directed	without	any	imagination	by	steve	boyum	,	whose	long	background	in	film	is	mainly	in	stunts	and	in	second	unit	direction	,	the	film	limps	along	at	best	.	boyum	attempts	to	keep	the	pace	moving	by	staging	stunts	,	stunts	and	more	stunts	.	amazingly	for	someone	with	his	background	,	he	seems	incapable	of	finding	any	fresh	ones	,	and	we	have	a	car	go	off	the	road	five	different	times	maybe	more	.	but	who's	counting	?	and	then	there	is	the	script	by	james	herzfeld	,	whose	only	other	film	,	tapeheads	from	a	decade	ago	,	was	so	awful	that	it	is	considered	a	cult	classic	.	meet	the	deedles	,	however	,	is	painfully	bad	rather	than	laughably	bad	.	it	will	probably	be	in	and	out	of	the	theaters	like	a	tornado	and	is	in	no	danger	of	becoming	a	classic	anything	.	herzfeld	treats	us	to	gratingly	abysmal	dialog	that	includes	"	your	geyser's	a	geezer	,	"	and	"	i'd	like	to	put	a	deedle	in	her	haystack	.	"	as	the	movie	opens	,	the	twins	,	who	at	one	point	describe	themselves	modestly	as	"	a	walking	kodak	moment	,	"	are	celebrating	their	18th	birthday	.	as	they	ride	a	parasail	high	above	the	waters	of	waikiki	,	a	truant	officer	pursues	them	on	his	jet	ski	.	as	heirs	to	the	fabulous	fortune	of	the	deedle	empire	,	the	boys	are	sent	by	their	father	to	camp	broken	spirit	at	yellowstone	to	transform	the	two	laid	back	beach	bums	into	men	.	as	they	arrive	in	their	wetsuits	in	yellowstone	,	they've	got	their	surfboards	,	skateboards	,	and	a	hawaiian	drink	machine	the	size	of	an	armoire	.	their	camp	has	gone	out	of	business	,	but	they	are	mistaken	for	new	park	rangers	.	the	rest	of	the	movie	has	them	fighting	the	park's	overpopulation	of	prairie	dogs	as	well	as	a	deranged	ex	ranger	,	played	by	dennis	hopper	,	who	is	out	to	stop	old	faithful	before	its	billionth	birthday	celebration	,	scheduled	for	later	in	the	week	.	hopper	,	who	has	made	some	wonderful	movies	,	carried	away	being	a	recent	favorite	,	does	have	a	propensity	for	choosing	some	truly	odoriferous	material	.	this	isn't	his	worst	acting	,	but	meet	the	deedles	is	arguably	the	worst	movie	he's	ever	been	in	.	steve	van	wormer	and	paul	walker	,	as	stew	and	phil	,	give	lifeless	performances	.	the	only	actor	in	the	movie	with	any	demonstrable	talent	is	a	cute	little	prairie	dog	named	petey	.	even	the	cinematography	by	david	hennings	is	so	prosaic	that	it	manages	to	make	yellowstone	look	dull	.	to	add	insult	to	injury	,	hennings	is	fond	of	inappropriate	close	ups	,	which	only	serve	to	remind	us	of	the	inanity	of	the	dialog	.	put	a	ten	foot	pair	of	lips	on	the	screen	,	and	you	naturally	pay	extra	attention	to	what	is	said	.	although	boyum	says	in	the	notes	that	he	is	proud	that	his	film	is	appropriate	for	families	,	one	wonders	how	many	skateboarders	will	attempt	the	movie's	stunt	of	lying	on	your	back	on	a	skateboard	while	negotiating	a	busy	and	twisting	mountain	road	.	they	make	it	look	like	so	much	fun	that	i'm	sure	many	will	try	some	variation	of	the	stunt	.	"	how	could	this	possibly	be	worst	,	"	asks	phil	.	just	when	you	suspect	it	can't	,	the	movie	takes	a	turn	further	downhill	.	its	low	point	may	have	you	looking	for	an	airline	barf	bag	.	after	phil's	girlfriend	digs	up	a	big	mount	of	moist	soil	,	they	suck	in	a	long	worm	.	like	the	two	dog	lovers	eating	spaghetti	in	lady	and	the	tramp	,	their	lips	finally	meet	in	a	kiss	.	as	they	pull	back	,	their	faces	are	full	of	the	dirt	that	encased	the	worm	they	have	just	ingested	.	meet	the	deedles	runs	about	an	hour	and	a	half	.	it	is	rated	pg	for	a	little	bathroom	humor	and	would	be	acceptable	for	kids	around	6	and	up	.	my	son	jeffrey	and	his	friend	nickolas	,	both	almost	9	,	gave	the	show	.	they	both	thought	the	scenes	with	petey	were	among	their	favorites	.	nickolas	also	mentioned	the	scene	in	which	the	circus	bear	drives	a	jeep	,	and	jeffrey	especially	liked	the	one	in	which	the	circus	elephant	was	referred	to	as	dumbo	.
neg	rated	pg	13	:	sexual	and	crude	humor	,	language	,	some	nudity	.	starring	:	david	arquette	,	scott	caan	,	rose	mcgowan	and	a	slew	of	wcw	wrestlers	.	directed	by	:	brian	robbins	well	lets	see	.	.	.	i'm	not	quite	sure	how	to	review	this	film	,	based	on	its	laughter	factor	.	well	yeah	i	can	,	it's	not	funny	.	ok	so	i	laughed	one	time	which	warranted	the	1	2	star	,	but	other	than	that	i	sat	in	my	seat	wondering	when	this	pos	would	be	over	,	(	which	at	a	running	time	of	107	minutes	seemed	like	forever	!	)	.	in	fact	,	this	could	be	the	un	funniest	movie	i've	seen	in	a	long	time	,	if	not	the	un	funniest	.	let	me	be	the	first	to	say	"	ready	to	rumble	"	is	a	huge	disappointment	.	long	time	wrestling	lovers	(	david	and	scott	)	dream	of	making	it	to	the	wcw	,	and	watching	jimmy	king	wrestle	.	that	is	their	hero	of	course	,	whom	is	kicked	out	of	the	wcw	.	well	here	is	where	the	plot	thickens	(	lol	)	:	the	two	wish	to	rescue	the	king	,	and	put	him	back	into	the	wcw	but	not	that	easily	,	because	they	are	being	tampered	with	by	many	people	who	are	out	to	get	them	,	while	david's	father	wants	him	to	become	a	police	officer	,	and	scott	is	a	loser	who	has	to	with	the	help	of	david	clean	out	johnny	on	the	spots	.	what	a	plot	eh	?	"	ready	to	rumble	"	is	one	of	those	films	that	tries	to	be	funny	,	but	sadly	fails	miserably	,	everything	in	the	film	is	imcomprehinsable	,	and	even	the	trailer	wasn't	funny	.	the	actors	are	dull	,	the	script	awful	,	and	the	plot	which	there	isn't	much	of	.	.	.	.	really	annoying	.	i'm	not	quite	sure	how	great	actors	like	these	,	and	very	funny	actors	too	,	are	given	such	a	lame	script	,	and	directed	in	such	a	childish	manner	,	that	i	wonder	if	hollywood	is	ever	gonna	make	good	films	these	days	.	this	review	isn't	going	to	be	very	long	because	of	the	fact	that	there	isn't	much	going	for	the	film	,	if	anything	at	all	.	only	one	big	laugh	is	in	the	film	,	which	isn't	all	that	hilarious	.	i	sat	in	my	chair	wondering	with	this	107	(	!	!	!	!	!	)	minute	"	comedy	"	was	going	to	be	over	,	and	sadly	it	went	on	forever	.	i'm	not	sure	if	anything	could	have	saved	this	film	from	being	such	a	total	waste	,	but	believe	me	you	,	it	is	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	4	29	00	for	more	reviews	please	visit	movie	review	central	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	moviefan983	moviereviewcentral	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	moviefan983	moviereviewcentral	.	html	a
neg	release	date	:	april	9	,	1999	starring	:	katie	holmes	,	sarah	polley	,	jay	mohr	,	scott	wolf	,	desmond	askew	,	taye	diggs	,	william	fichtner	,	nathan	bexton	directed	by	:	doug	liman	distributed	by	:	sony	pictures	entertainment	tristar	pictures	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	strong	drug	content	,	sexuality	,	language	,	some	violence	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	go	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	go	.	htm	a	filmmakers	will	use	all	manner	of	tricks	to	flesh	out	and	brighten	up	a	dull	,	dreary	,	and	overused	idea	.	doug	liman	(	swingers	)	,	director	of	the	ultra	hip	and	severely	dark	comedy	go	,	is	an	example	of	just	such	a	filmmaker	.	in	his	latest	,	he	gives	the	viewers	a	raucous	,	neon	lit	backdrop	as	cinematographer	and	points	the	audience	down	a	drug	infested	path	of	misadventure	as	director	.	but	he	fails	to	come	up	with	any	parallel	structure	in	his	multi	tiered	movie	and	he	fails	to	connect	with	the	audience	on	any	level	,	bringing	the	worth	of	his	efforts	to	nil	and	the	value	of	go	to	about	the	same	.	his	movie	is	produced	anthology	style	telling	the	same	story	from	multiple	(	three	)	points	of	view	,	much	as	an	author	might	write	a	serial	novel	.	consistent	with	this	ethic	,	liman	and	screenwriter	john	august	provide	a	bit	of	an	overlap	at	the	beginning	of	each	narrative	and	insert	brief	connections	to	other	narratives	.	the	thread	that	laces	the	three	stories	together	is	a	drug	deal	and	the	events	thereafter	.	in	story	a	we	have	checkout	clerk	ronna	(	sarah	polley	)	looking	to	score	some	rent	money	and	turning	to	drug	trafficking	to	do	it	;	in	story	b	we	have	regular	drug	dealer	simon	(	desmond	askew	)	gone	to	las	vegas	giving	ronna	her	opportunity	;	and	in	story	c	we	have	gay	soap	actors	zack	(	jay	mohr	)	and	adam	(	scott	wolf	)	working	undercover	for	the	police	to	bust	said	drug	deal	.	neither	of	the	three	stories	have	much	substance	,	and	the	movie	has	the	feel	of	a	campfire	story	(	albeit	a	rather	strange	one	)	that	could	be	told	in	five	to	ten	minutes	.	(	in	fact	,	the	movie	was	originally	a	short	film	entitled	x	expanded	to	feature	length	.	)	the	early	april	release	date	is	too	mistimed	to	capitalize	on	the	movie's	christmas	setting	,	and	the	los	angeles	las	vegas	nightlife	is	something	too	far	from	the	mainstream	for	most	theater	goers	to	attach	themselves	to	.	the	characters	are	shallow	to	the	point	of	prerequisite	,	and	performances	from	little	known	players	like	polley	,	askew	,	and	taye	diggs	don't	help	or	hurt	the	roles	.	in	fact	,	even	bigger	names	like	mohr	,	wolf	,	and	katie	holmes	don't	have	enough	time	to	make	substantial	success	.	although	that's	almost	expected	for	lack	of	continuous	screen	time	,	the	success	in	the	picture	should	come	from	a	thread	that	binds	the	stories	.	go	doesn't	have	this	,	and	it	suffers	because	of	it	.	as	far	as	teen	movies	are	concerned	,	go	represents	the	absolute	bottom	,	for	its	constant	stream	of	indecipherable	light	and	sound	mean	nothing	without	some	sort	of	common	theme	.	(	the	following	do	not	count	as	common	themes	:	drug	deals	,	people	attempting	to	have	romantic	interludes	with	drug	dealers	,	people	resorting	to	drug	deals	for	alterior	motives	,	or	people	not	involved	in	drug	deals	stumbling	into	them	.	)	at	times	,	the	humor	in	go	is	sickly	funny	,	and	on	a	low	night	,	almost	watchable	;	but	for	the	majority	of	its	running	time	and	for	most	viewers	,	this	movie	will	best	be	left	to	teens	at	blockbuster	on	a	saturday	night	.
neg	final	destination	(	2000	)	rated	r	;	running	time	93	minutes	genre	:	thriller	(	see	asteriked	footnote	below	)	imdb	site	:	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	details	?	0195714	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	details	?	0195714	a	official	site	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deathiscoming	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deathiscoming	.	com	a	written	by	:	glen	morgan	(	based	on	a	story	by	jeffrey	reddick	)	directed	by	:	james	wong	starring	:	devon	sawa	,	ali	larter	,	chad	e	.	donella	,	kerr	smith	,	seann	william	scott	,	kristen	cloke	,	amanda	detmer	,	roger	guenveur	smith	,	daniel	roebuck	,	tony	todd	review	copyright	rose	cooper	,	2000	review	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	3blackchicks	.	com	bamsfinaldest	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	3blackchicks	.	com	bamsfinaldest	.	html	a	asteriked	footnote	(	by	only	the	longest	stretch	of	the	imagination	)	.	the	story	(	warning	:	spoilers	contained	below	)	:	it's	the	laughfest	of	the	year	!	alex	browning	(	devon	sawa	)	boards	a	plane	bound	for	paris	with	his	high	school	classmates	and	french	teachers	,	amongst	them	tod	(	chad	e	.	donella	)	,	his	best	friend	;	carter	(	kerr	smith	)	,	who	doesn't	like	alex	;	terry	(	amanda	detmer	)	,	carter's	girlfriend	;	billy	(	seann	william	scott	)	,	the	comic	relief	;	clear	rivers	(	ali	larter	)	,	a	girl	who	doesn't	know	him	yet	;	and	teacher	valerie	lewton	(	kristen	cloke	)	.	but	alex	has	a	vision	that	the	plane	will	explode	,	and	after	he	freaks	out	about	his	vision	,	the	seven	of	them	leave	the	plane	minutes	before	it	actually	explodes	,	exactly	as	he	pictured	it	would	.	his	act	of	saving	their	lives	,	of	course	,	fails	to	endear	him	to	anyone	but	clear	rivers	"	clear	rivers	"	,	get	it	?	fun	nee	!	.	his	premonition	spooks	most	of	the	others	out	(	except	carter	,	who	is	downright	hostile	to	him	)	.	but	that's	the	least	of	his	worries	:	he	also	has	to	deal	with	fbi	agents	weine	(	daniel	roebuck	)	and	trey	(	roger	guenveur	smith	)	ooh	,	these	play	on	words	names	just	keep	getting	better	and	better	!	and	with	the	spooky	mortician	(	tony	todd	)	named	bludworth	stop	it	,	you're	splitting	my	sides	!	who	warns	alex	that	death	isn't	finished	with	them	.	his	message	to	alex	?	"	i'll	see	you	soon	.	"
neg	director	:	kirk	wong	cast	:	mark	wahlberg	,	lou	diamond	phillips	,	christina	applegate	,	avery	brooks	,	bokeem	woodbine	,	lela	rochon	screenplay	:	ben	ramsey	producers	:	wesley	snipes	,	warren	zide	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	sony	pictures	tristar	rated	r	:	violence	,	language	,	sex	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	i	didn't	hate	the	big	hit	,	even	though	it	is	a	stupefyingly	terrible	film	.	for	the	entirety	of	its	running	time	,	my	eyes	were	attached	to	the	screen	,	and	i	never	once	got	bored	.	i	found	the	film	interesting	because	of	its	unique	awfulness	:	this	is	such	a	confused	disaster	of	a	film	that	it's	entertaining	to	watch	it	in	the	same	way	that	it's	entertaining	to	witness	a	thirty	car	pileup	on	a	freeway	spaghetti	bowl	.	as	a	narrative	,	the	big	hit	is	pure	garbage	,	never	truly	deciding	its	genre	and	constantly	crossing	all	kinds	of	boundaries	.	it	reminded	me	a	lot	of	grosse	pointe	blank	,	which	is	a	similar	film	that	fails	in	a	lot	of	the	same	ways	.	it's	fine	to	mix	genres	,	if	the	film	makers	know	what	they're	doing	.	unfortunately	,	writer	ben	ramsey	and	director	kirk	wong	don't	seem	to	know	how	to	handle	the	material	,	and	the	result	is	an	action	film	that	wants	to	be	a	comedy	.	the	biggest	problem	with	the	amalgamation	,	in	this	case	,	is	that	the	film	is	absurd	and	the	comedy	is	out	of	place	.	but	it	sure	is	a	fascinating	failure	.	marky	.	.	.	er	,	mark	wahlberg	stars	as	melvin	surley	,	a	hitman	.	he's	a	good	hitman	,	apparently	,	although	his	tactics	seem	a	bit	rambunctious	(	he	doesn't	snipe	or	make	clean	kills	he	just	kicks	the	door	down	and	shoots	everything	)	.	he	works	with	a	few	other	hitmen	cisco	(	lou	diamond	phillips	)	,	crunch	(	bokeem	woodbine	)	,	and	vinnie	(	antonio	sabbato	,	jr	.	)	.	they're	a	nice	bunch	of	muscular	guys	,	who	stand	around	in	the	locker	room	after	working	out	and	compare	masturbation	to	sex	.	they	all	work	for	a	man	named	paris	(	avery	brooks	)	,	who	is	rich	,	powerful	,	and	in	constant	need	of	four	sloppy	hitmen	.	it	is	very	important	that	they	never	go	beyond	their	boss	and	do	work	on	their	own	;	this	,	of	course	,	is	where	the	plot	comes	in	.	they	decide	to	kidnap	a	young	japanese	girl	named	keiko	(	china	chow	)	,	who	has	a	rich	father	.	when	they	do	this	,	it	turns	out	she	is	paris'	.	.	.	goddaughter	!	it's	very	bad	to	have	paris	against	you	.	the	story	is	standard	action	film	stuff	.	it's	nothing	new	,	and	nothing	particularly	offensive	(	but	certainly	not	the	slightest	bit	compelling	)	.	clearly	the	major	selling	point	of	the	big	hit	is	that	it's	a	john	woo	type	of	action	film	mixed	in	with	some	really	hip	comedy	.	it's	true	that	a	lot	of	the	action	sequences	resemble	recent	films	that	go	for	the	same	idea	(	such	as	face	off	and	the	replacement	killers	,	which	are	both	far	superior	)	.	there	are	stunts	that	are	fun	to	watch	:	the	opening	sequence	has	melvin	and	two	of	his	partners	going	in	to	kill	some	guy	who	has	nothing	to	do	with	the	story	.	they	use	night	vision	goggles	and	really	powerful	handguns	.	melvin	is	also	very	good	at	breakdancing	,	and	uses	this	talent	to	avoid	bullets	and	knives	.	like	i	said	,	it's	not	boring	;	most	disasters	aren't	.	what	makes	it	so	bad	is	its	genre	shifting	madness	.	it	seems	to	start	out	as	a	quirky	but	realistic	action	comedy	,	as	melvin	is	seen	transporting	bags	of	human	remains	.	then	,	as	soon	as	they	go	to	their	first	hit	,	it	turns	into	a	music	video	with	bodies	and	bullets	flying	everywhere	.	then	,	somewhere	in	between	,	it	turns	back	into	comedy	.	keiko	turns	out	to	be	a	spunky	little	girl	;	in	one	amusing	scene	,	she	is	forced	to	read	a	letter	out	loud	,	indicating	that	she	has	been	kidnapped	,	but	the	letter	is	littered	with	grammatical	errors	that	skew	the	meaning	of	the	words	.	and	scenes	like	this	work	alone	,	but	wong	applies	this	goofy	tone	to	scenes	that	should	be	more	serious	,	or	not	be	in	the	film	at	all	.	one	of	the	most	irritating	moments	has	paris	ordering	cisco	to	come	up	to	his	office	after	he	learns	that	keiko	has	been	kidnapped	;	when	cisco	gets	there	,	paris	and	his	men	are	standing	around	as	if	they	knew	cisco	did	it	,	but	they	let	him	out	of	there	,	telling	him	to	find	the	perpetrator	.	the	scene	is	played	for	laughs	,	but	it	isn't	funny	.	and	since	it	doesn't	quite	work	as	a	comedy	,	it	tries	to	fall	back	on	the	action	,	which	also	fails	.	this	is	a	film	where	people	fly	fifteen	feet	backwards	when	shot	with	a	handgun	.	cars	land	on	tree	branches	and	are	supported	by	them	.	characters	betray	each	other	without	a	second	thought	.	grenades	are	thrown	in	tight	places	.	people	jump	out	of	tall	buildings	and	survive	.	people	outrun	tumbling	cars	,	and	get	out	of	the	way	of	falling	objects	in	small	fractions	of	seconds	.	most	frustrating	of	all	,	though	,	is	the	film's	definition	of	a	hit	man	:	these	guys	are	anything	but	subtle	,	quiet	,	and	skilled	individuals	.	they're	more	like	socially	depraved	militia	men	(	melvin	has	an	extensive	collection	of	firearms	in	his	garage	,	including	missile	launchers	and	hand	held	machineguns	)	.	the	characters	each	have	one	trait	that	distinguishes	them	from	the	rest	;	this	obviously	doesn't	make	for	deep	or	interesting	people	to	watch	.	the	acting	is	kind	of	fun	,	though	wahlberg	is	a	good	actor	,	and	his	innocuous	presence	in	this	film	is	charming	in	a	silly	sort	of	way	.	phillips	certainly	has	fun	with	his	psychotic	character	,	while	christina	applegate	,	who	plays	melvin's	fiance	,	is	convincingly	air	headed	.	the	big	hit	is	an	action	film	that	unknowingly	spoofs	itself	in	trying	to	be	funny	.	the	funniest	parts	are	supplied	by	the	actors	,	and	not	by	the	numerous	failed	attempts	at	sight	gags	and	one	liners	.	it's	a	true	disaster	,	one	that	makes	me	believe	that	the	goofy	and	unrealistic	tone	is	completely	unintentional	.	despite	all	this	,	though	,	i	must	reiterate	the	entertainment	value	here	.	you	can	cherish	the	awfulness	of	a	film	like	this	.	if	you	embrace	the	big	hit	for	the	catastrophe	that	it	is	,	you	just	might	enjoy	yourself	.
neg	in	the	first	death	wish	movie	,	mild	mannered	new	york	architect	paul	kersey	,	played	by	charles	bronson	,	was	avenging	the	death	of	his	wife	.	in	the	second	,	he	was	avenging	his	daughter	.	in	the	third	,	he	instigated	small	war	in	order	to	avenge	the	old	friend	.	fourth	movie	,	on	the	other	hand	,	begins	with	kersey	doubting	the	point	of	his	violent	crusades	and	living	the	quiet	life	with	his	girlfriend	karen	,	played	by	kay	lenz	.	however	,	since	this	is	death	wish	movie	,	we	know	that	sooner	or	later	something	bad	is	going	to	happen	to	the	people	kersey	cares	for	.	this	time	karen's	teenage	daughter	dies	of	a	crack	overdose	and	kersey	is	forced	to	return	to	his	old	vigilante	ways	.	kersey's	new	targets	,	unlike	the	previous	movies	,	aren't	the	ordinary	street	punks	but	rich	,	heavily	armed	and	well	connected	drug	dealers	.	even	such	unstoppable	killing	machine	like	kersey	needs	some	support	,	and	it	comes	from	the	publisher	nathan	white	(	john	p	.	ryan	)	,	determined	to	avenge	the	drug	related	death	of	his	own	daughter	.	white's	plan	is	to	make	kersey	kill	major	players	in	two	rival	drug	dealing	organisations	and	thus	instigate	the	war	between	them	.	the	plan	begins	to	take	shape	,	but	kersey's	actions	bring	attention	of	two	police	detectives	reiner	(	george	dickerson	)	and	nozaki	(	soon	teck	oh	)	.	fourth	(	and	,	unfortunately	,	not	the	final	)	installment	in	the	death	wish	series	,	will	probably	remembered	as	the	typical	movie	of	cannon	group	,	production	company	responsible	for	some	of	the	worst	cinematic	trash	of	the	last	decade	.	however	,	although	some	critics	might	argue	,	death	wish	4	:	the	crackdown	represents	slight	improvement	over	the	death	wish	3	.	paul	kersey	,	one	of	the	most	intriguing	(	and	potentially	controversial	)	characters	of	the	1970s	,	is	still	being	dumbed	down	by	mediocre	script	,	and	charles	bronson	really	doesn't	feel	the	need	to	put	much	effort	in	his	acting	.	however	,	the	hand	of	a	veteran	director	j	.	lee	thompson	seems	more	capable	of	michael	winner's	and	the	action	scenes	seem	slightly	less	surreal	,	although	they	still	look	cheap	and	repetitive	and	downright	boring	.	there	are	some	attempts	for	the	movie	to	have	a	plot	between	the	numerous	scenes	of	violence	,	and	one	of	such	attempts	is	a	potentially	interesting	plot	twist	at	the	end	.	the	script	even	tries	to	fake	some	social	conscience	(	through	criminally	underused	kay	lenz's	character	)	and	predates	the	war	on	drugs	campaign	that	would	inspire	many	hollywood	products	in	next	few	years	.	there	are	even	some	half	hearted	attempts	of	humour	both	intentional	and	unintentional	,	like	in	a	scene	where	kersey	assassinates	mob	figures	by	a	wine	bottle	but	the	quality	of	this	movie	is	still	far	away	from	bronson's	1970s	classics	.	(	special	note	to	x	philes	:	mith	pilleggi	,	the	actor	who	plays	ad	skinner	in	the	x	files	,	could	be	seen	in	a	small	role	of	cannery	lab	foreman	)	.
neg	here	we've	got	a	really	rare	bird	:	a	film	so	stupid	it	can't	even	make	fun	of	itself	properly	.	you	know	a	culture	is	in	trouble	when	even	its	trash	doesn't	stick	to	your	mind	.	spice	world	may	not	be	the	worst	big	name	movie	ever	made	i'm	divided	at	this	point	between	species	ii	and	money	train	,	with	north	in	the	running	but	it's	not	even	a	good	crummy	movie	.	it's	just	crummy	.	i	kept	begging	for	a	moment	of	some	halfway	genuine	wit	a	mistake	,	a	sneeze	,	a	sense	that	they	just	grabbed	something	and	ran	with	it	instead	of	staying	with	the	script	.	no	such	luck	.	that	script	,	by	the	way	,	plays	out	like	something	they	scratched	onto	a	soggy	cocktail	napkin	at	a	producer's	party	.	comparing	this	movie	to	a	hard	day's	night	would	be	a	sinful	mistake	.	a	hard	day's	night	was	conceived	as	a	quick	exploitation	package	to	cash	in	on	the	beatles'	popularity	,	but	two	things	happened	:	one	,	the	beatles	stuck	around	and	became	more	important	than	anyone	could	have	guessed	;	two	,	the	movie	was	brilliant	.	neither	exception	applies	to	this	film	.	we	get	performance	segments	which	are	flimsy	and	witless	,	padded	with	revue	type	material	that	doesn't	garner	a	single	chuckle	,	and	fistfuls	of	stuff	shoveled	in	that	dates	the	movie	horribly	(	like	a	dumb	x	files	gag	,	complete	with	halogen	flashlights	)	.	the	girls	are	also	disturbingly	untalented	(	again	,	unlike	the	beatles	)	there's	five	of	them	bleating	away	up	there	,	and	collectively	they	don't	even	add	up	to	one	good	singer	.	who	are	these	girls	,	anyway	?	despite	their	variegated	appearances	and	hairstyles	,	they're	one	indistinguishable	pulpy	blob	.	what	frightens	me	the	most	is	that	like	so	many	other	junk	food	culture	artifacts	aimed	at	the	younger	set	the	teenage	mutant	ninja	turtles	or	the	power	rangers	there	aren't	any	real	individuals	in	the	group	.	there's	just	this	kind	of	amorphous	,	composite	personality	that	they	pass	around	between	them	,	like	the	three	crones	in	greek	legend	who	all	shared	one	eye	.	i	hate	reading	a	great	deal	into	pop	culture	phenomena	,	but	if	the	spice	girls	send	a	message	of	any	kind	,	it's	twofold	:	that	it's	better	to	subordinate	your	personality	to	a	premanufactured	group	identity	,	and	that	trash	not	only	sells	,	but	aggressively	seeks	its	own	level	.	santayana	once	bemoaned	america's	love	affair	with	trash	,	and	he	noted	that	it	wasn't	the	trash	that	bothered	him	,	but	the	love	.	he	film's	most	telling	moment	:	immediately	after	a	performance	,	someone	tells	the	girls	,	"	that	was	perfect	without	actually	being	any	good	.	"	imagine	that	.	a	moment	of	genuine	insight	,	in	the	middle	of	this	movie	.	maybe	there	is	a	god	.
neg	perhaps	if	the	impostors	didn't	have	so	much	going	for	it	,	it	wouldn't	have	been	such	a	tremendous	disappointment	.	written	,	directed	,	and	produced	by	one	of	its	two	stars	,	stanley	tucci	,	whose	last	picture	was	the	indie	smash	hit	,	big	night	,	the	impostors	almost	never	catches	fire	.	sputtering	like	a	two	day	old	campfire	,	the	story	plays	like	an	ad	lib	sketch	that	was	never	polished	or	completed	.	the	film's	other	star	,	oliver	platt	,	was	hilarious	as	the	senator's	aide	in	bulworth	.	the	bloated	supporting	cast	is	a	veritable	cornucopia	of	acting	talent	,	including	woody	allen	,	steve	buscemi	,	hope	davis	,	alfred	molina	,	campbell	scott	,	lili	taylor	and	tony	shalhoub	.	all	are	wasted	save	allen	,	who	plays	a	theatrical	director	who	stares	in	disbelief	at	the	bad	acting	before	his	eyes	.	(	the	audience	will	easily	identify	with	allen's	sentiments	.	)	with	the	exception	of	a	single	original	joke	involving	mirror	imaged	subtitles	,	the	movie	engenders	little	genuine	laughter	.	the	stale	humor	is	so	embarrassingly	bad	that	you	will	find	yourself	laughing	sporadically	at	the	picture	rather	than	with	it	.	the	plot	for	the	movie	involves	two	starving	actors	,	maurice	(	oliver	platt	)	and	arthur	(	stanley	tucci	)	,	who	accidentally	end	up	on	a	cruise	ship	.	in	order	to	escape	an	angry	shakespearean	actor	(	alfred	molina	)	,	who	is	chasing	them	,	they	dress	up	as	ship's	stewards	.	the	over	the	top	script	has	the	subtlety	of	a	sledgehammer	.	when	the	leads	hide	from	their	pursuers	,	arthur	covers	maurice's	mouth	as	he	suffers	an	unending	sneeze	.	at	other	times	,	we	have	the	typical	zany	comedy	routine	where	everyone	chases	everyone	else	,	while	darting	in	and	out	of	staterooms	.	with	the	film's	chapters	introduced	like	placards	at	a	vaudeville	stage	,	it	is	clear	the	movie	wants	to	be	taken	as	farce	.	the	press	notes	describes	how	everyone	that	came	on	the	set	remarked	at	what	a	good	time	all	of	the	actors	were	having	.	too	bad	they	weren't	more	concerned	with	the	audience's	potential	enjoyment	.	the	jokes	,	frequently	framed	in	silence	,	fall	like	stones	with	such	intensity	that	one	can	almost	hear	them	hitting	the	ground	.	one	wonders	if	anyone	ever	viewed	the	film's	dailies	.	surely	,	if	they	had	,	they	would	have	realized	what	leaden	results	they	were	producing	.	it	is	tricky	having	good	actors	play	bad	ones	,	but	,	if	they	couldn't	pull	it	off	,	they	should	have	just	given	up	.	"	the	show	is	over	for	this	fella	,	"	steve	buscemi's	character	says	towards	the	end	.	the	mystery	is	why	they	didn't	all	give	up	in	the	beginning	.	there	must	have	been	a	better	script	somewhere	for	such	a	wonderful	cast	.	the	impostors	runs	1	:	42	.	it	is	rated	r	for	a	little	profanity	and	would	be	fine	for	kids	around	12	and	up	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	directed	by	:	william	friedkin	written	by	:	james	webb	and	stephen	gaghan	cast	:	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	ben	kingsley	,	tommy	lee	jones	,	guy	pearce	mpaa	:	rated	r	for	scenes	of	war	violence	,	and	for	language	.	runtime	:	usa	:	128	as	we	see	the	terrible	events	that	unfold	before	our	eyes	in	the	middle	east	at	the	moment	,	hollywood	doesn't	loose	the	oppertunity	to	get	involved	,	by	telling	stories	and	expressing	opinions	.	this	film	centers	on	a	relationship	forged	throughout	the	adult	lifetimes	of	two	marine	colonels	,	hays	hodges	(	tommy	lee	jones	)	and	terry	childers	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	.	they	fought	side	by	side	in	vietnam	,	where	childers	saved	hodges'	life	by	shooting	an	unarmed	pow	.	that's	against	the	rules	of	war	but	understandable	,	in	this	story	anyway	,	under	the	specific	circumstances	.	certainly	hodges	is	not	complaining	.	years	pass	.	hodges	,	whose	wounds	make	him	unfit	for	action	,	gets	a	law	degree	and	becomes	a	marine	lawyer	.	childers	,	is	now	a	respected	and	much	decorated	hero	that	has	served	his	country	with	his	life	and	sould	.	because	of	his	excellent	record	,	childers	is	sent	to	yemen	to	rescue	the	american	ambassador	(	ben	kingsley	)	,	cowering	in	the	embassy	under	assault	from	violent	demonstrators	and	snipers	blasting	from	rooftops	.	childers	does	what	he	has	to	do	:	evacuate	the	family	and	protect	the	men	under	his	command	.	after	three	marines	die	and	the	colonel	thinks	he	sees	ground	fire	,	he	orders	his	troops	to	shoot	into	the	firing	crowd	.	more	than	80	yemeni	men	,	women	,	and	children	are	mowed	down	.	childers	is	immediately	accused	of	ordering	his	men	to	fire	on	a	crowd	and	murder	of	unarmed	civilians	.	he	persuades	his	old	friend	hodges	to	represent	him	in	the	courtroom	drama	that	occupies	the	second	half	of	the	film	.	did	childers	violate	authorized	u	.	s	.	military	rules	of	engagement	?	or	are	there	simply	no	rules	in	war	?	the	answers	to	these	stereotypical	questions	are	obvious	,	but	the	inconsistent	plot	immediately	raises	all	sorts	of	other	questions	.	the	murder	of	83	"	innocent	civilians	"	has	to	result	into	something	greater	than	a	simple	trial	in	the	u	.	s	.	where	is	the	accusations	from	the	arab	leaders	?	where	is	the	u	.	n	.	?	the	film	ends	without	even	telling	the	most	interesting	story	:	what	happens	on	the	international	arena	?	this	film	(	in	a	way	akin	to	films	such	as	"	a	few	good	men	"	)	has	already	been	accused	of	breaking	the	rules	of	morality	and	ethics	and	even	of	racism	.	these	accusations	are	pretty	heavy	,	but	also	unfair	.	what	director	william	friedklin	truly	broke	was	the	rules	of	decent	filmmaking	.	one	of	the	earliest	apparent	problems	with	'rules	of	engagement'	is	its	lack	of	credibility	.	the	entire	operation	in	yemen	may	remind	us	about	what	happens	in	the	middle	east	right	now	,	but	is	overdone	,	contrived	and	unrealistic	as	if	a	chain	of	events	had	to	happen	in	a	particular	manner	in	order	for	the	plot	to	proceed	.	a	lot	of	it	is	so	cheesy	that	no	one	could	possibly	accept	it	as	reality	.	that	is	precisely	why	it's	not	offensive	.	it	is	completely	unobjective	.	many	stories	are	started	and	never	finished	.	many	questions	are	asked	,	but	never	answered	.	a	lot	of	parallels	are	referring	to	nothing	.	it	seems	that	neither	the	director	,	producers	or	the	screenwriter	can	make	up	their	minds	about	the	contents	of	their	film	.	is	it	about	arab	mentality	?	america's	foreign	policies	?	america's	role	in	the	world	?	corruption	in	the	higher	circles	?	it	goes	on	and	on	.	it	consists	of	countless	stories	,	but	not	a	definable	plot	.	it	tries	to	be	everything	for	everyone	and	ends	up	being	nothing	for	no	one	.	i	think	that	it	is	ironic	,	because	director	william	friedkin's	probably	most	acclaimed	film	was	"	the	exorcist	"	which	had	a	silly	story	,	but	became	a	rather	effective	film	.	in	this	case	you	have	a	strong	story	with	many	possibilities	and	the	result	is	a	silly	film	.	though	several	scenes	bare	the	mark	of	professionalism	(	such	as	the	impressive	battle	scenes	)	,	his	latest	film	does	simply	not	engage	.	i	believe	that	friedklin	is	a	director	that	is	absolutely	depended	on	great	scripts	and	talented	producers	in	order	to	succeed	.	it's	obvious	that	he	has	neither	and	the	result	is	therefore	a	catastrophe	.	the	characters	feel	designed	,	unreal	,	merely	shadows	,	with	no	life	outside	the	conflict	.	even	the	actors	can	not	save	this	film	from	going	under	.	though	both	jackson	and	jones	act	admirably	,	with	performances	that	are	as	good	as	you	get	with	a	script	like	this	,	it	is	not	something	that	these	great	actors	can	boast	of	.	they	have	roles	that	they	could	play	blindfolded	with	their	hand	on	the	back	.	jackson	is	gray	and	jones	uninteresting	.	the	rest	of	the	cast	,	including	ben	kingsly	,	blair	underwood	and	guy	pearce	are	simply	waiting	for	their	paychecks	.	the	time	has	come	for	the	verdict	.	on	the	charges	of	complete	lack	of	objectivity	,	i	find	this	film	guilty	.	on	the	charges	of	breaking	the	rules	of	reasonable	filmmaking	,	i	find	it	guilty	.	but	on	the	charges	of	racism	i	find	this	film	not	guilty	,	because	of	it's	inconclusive	and	often	silly	plot	that	lacks	objectivity	everywhere	,	not	only	when	concerning	the	arab	population	.	i	must	admit	that	the	film	is	dangerously	near	the	line	of	being	racially	offensive	and	i	do	think	that	screenwriter	stephen	gaghan	went	a	bit	too	far	,	portraying	the	yemeni	people	almost	as	stereotypical	hollywood	bad	guys	.	this	is	very	sad	,	since	in	a	time	like	this	it	is	crucial	to	not	lose	objectivity	and	proclaim	the	truth	.	however	,	it	is	absolutely	necessary	to	remember	that	the	muslim	terrorists	are	responsible	for	most	of	the	terrorist	activity	in	and	outside	the	united	states	.	and	that	it's	not	a	coincidence	that	u	.	s	.	residents	in	the	middle	east	,	including	yemen	are	on	constant	maximum	alert	.
neg	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	dear	god	,	this	is	a	fantastically	bad	film	!	regardless	of	what	i	say	about	knock	off	,	you	can't	grasp	its	awfulness	from	my	words	.	you	have	to	see	it	and	experience	it	for	yourself	.	here's	the	kicker	,	though	i	suggest	that	you	do	so	.	yes	,	this	is	a	bad	film	easily	one	of	the	most	incompetent	films	of	the	year	but	it	has	a	certain	misguided	charm	that	makes	it	a	unique	kind	of	disaster	to	endure	.	in	fact	,	i	enjoyed	myself	for	most	of	its	brief	running	time	,	despite	the	dreadful	acting	and	a	completely	incomprehensible	story	.	don't	get	me	wrong	:	i'm	not	excusing	knock	off	.	it	reaches	an	unacceptable	level	of	badness	;	it's	so	incoherent	that	i	wonder	if	it	was	hacked	up	worse	than	the	avengers	was	.	it	also	features	some	truly	terrible	performances	from	lela	rochon	,	michael	wong	,	paul	sorvino	,	and	of	course	jean	claude	van	damme	.	it	does	,	however	,	have	the	entertaining	presence	of	rob	schneider	,	and	the	excessively	inventive	and	pretentious	direction	of	tsui	hark	.	as	i	watched	it	,	i	occasionally	wondered	if	it	was	aware	of	its	own	awfulness	.	now	,	in	retrospect	,	it	seems	clear	that	it	wasn't	,	but	it's	still	a	fascinating	kind	of	mess	.	i	don't	like	writing	plot	descriptions	(	it	is	,	by	far	,	the	most	boring	part	of	writing	a	review	)	,	but	,	in	this	case	,	i'm	off	the	hook	:	there	is	no	way	i	could	write	an	accurate	synopsis	for	knock	off	.	for	the	sake	of	comparison	,	i	had	no	trouble	understanding	the	usual	suspects	during	my	first	viewing	.	i	paid	closer	attention	to	knock	off	,	and	the	only	thing	i	am	able	to	say	about	it	is	that	van	damme	plays	a	dude	named	ray	,	and	is	accused	by	the	cia	(	i	think	)	of	selling	knock	off	products	(	knock	off	products	are	,	of	course	,	products	that	look	like	name	brand	materials	but	are	generic	and	cheap	)	.	i	don't	know	what	any	of	this	has	to	do	with	martial	arts	,	but	there	are	lots	of	martial	arts	in	the	film	.	ray	is	good	at	martial	arts	,	so	when	he	has	to	beat	up	bad	guys	,	there's	no	problem	.	rob	schneider	plays	his	sidekick	,	although	i	had	no	idea	who	he	really	was	by	the	end	of	the	film	.	lela	rochon	is	just	some	woman	who	accuses	them	of	stuff	,	while	paul	sorvino	is	both	the	good	guy	and	the	bad	guy	at	once	!	in	fact	,	every	character	goes	through	so	many	shifts	from	good	to	bad	that	the	end	provides	absolutely	no	insight	into	what	any	of	them	really	do	.	in	that	order	,	knock	off	is	completely	incoherent	and	makes	absolutely	no	sense	.	but	what	a	strange	mess	it	is	.	it	was	written	by	stephen	e	.	de	souza	,	who	also	wrote	die	hard	and	48	hours	.	can	this	be	the	same	man	?	i	don't	see	how	,	unless	,	of	course	,	huge	chunks	of	the	film	have	been	removed	for	the	sake	of	running	time	.	knock	off	seems	to	have	an	interesting	premise	(	as	far	as	action	films	go	)	,	but	there's	no	semblance	here	.	for	instance	,	van	damme	is	introduced	,	and	then	seconds	later	he's	running	a	chariot	race	through	the	streets	of	hong	kong	.	why	?	who	knows	.	what	are	the	implications	of	this	?	i	have	no	idea	.	most	action	films	abandon	depth	in	favor	of	action	,	and	this	is	normally	a	problem	.	knock	off	,	however	,	is	the	first	film	that	i	would	have	preferred	to	see	with	all	of	the	talky	sequences	cut	.	the	acting	is	embarrassingly	bad	:	rochon	,	in	particular	,	delivers	each	of	her	lines	with	stiff	and	talentless	insincerity	.	sorvino	,	in	addition	,	deserves	better	than	this	.	van	damme	is	bad	,	but	he's	charming	in	that	bad	way	,	and	so	i	can't	say	that	he's	hard	to	watch	(	although	i	rarely	understood	what	he	was	saying	)	.	the	only	exception	is	rob	schneider	,	who	is	actually	quite	funny	a	lot	of	the	time	.	tsui	utilizes	so	many	tricks	that	he	makes	john	woo	look	tame	by	comparison	.	they're	all	pointless	gimmicks	though	,	such	as	shots	of	the	inner	workings	of	a	knock	off	running	shoe	.	but	his	action	scenes	are	never	boring	:	one	particular	piece	inside	of	a	fruit	factory	(	a	fruit	factory	?	)	is	well	choreographed	.	lots	of	the	scenes	are	pitched	well	to	comedy	,	such	as	our	heroes'	first	encounter	with	the	rochon	character	.	but	did	tsui	know	that	his	film	is	beyond	ludicrous	?	i	hope	he	did	,	for	the	alternative	is	a	frightening	thought	.	knock	off	has	the	feel	of	a	truly	terrible	exercise	in	camp	mania	.	if	it	were	boring	,	i'd	give	it	zero	stars	.	but	it's	not	boring	:	it's	loud	and	excessive	and	completely	incoherent	.	it's	also	funny	,	even	when	it	isn't	meaning	to	be	funny	.	a	bad	film	that	succeeds	as	entertainment	doesn't	deserve	to	be	fully	lambasted	.	i	recognize	knock	off	for	its	irrefutable	badness	,	but	i	can't	deny	it's	zany	,	useless	charm	.	oh	,	i	know	,	they're	just	action	scenes	looking	desperately	for	a	real	story	,	but	they're	fun	action	scenes	amongst	a	crowd	of	laughably	inane	concepts	.	it's	fun	to	admire	the	awfulness	of	a	film	like	this	,	but	that	doesn't	excuse	the	fact	that	it	is	,	indeed	,	awful	.
neg	cast	:	mario	van	peebles	,	lesley	ann	warren	,	daniel	baldwin	,	donavan	leitch	,	alexis	arquette	,	louise	fletcher	,	loretta	devine	,	melvin	van	peebles	,	susan	ruttan	,	lucy	liu	written	and	directed	by	:	mario	van	peebles	running	time	:	95	minutes	a	couple	of	criminals	(	mario	van	peebles	and	loretta	devine	)	move	into	a	rich	family's	house	in	hopes	of	conning	them	out	of	their	jewels	.	however	,	someone	else	steals	the	jewels	before	they	are	able	to	get	to	them	.	writer	mario	van	peebles	delivers	a	clever	script	with	several	unexpected	plot	twists	,	but	director	mario	van	peebles	undermines	his	own	high	points	with	haphazard	camera	work	,	editing	and	pacing	.	it	felt	as	though	the	film	should	have	been	wrapping	up	at	the	hour	mark	,	but	alas	there	was	still	35	more	minutes	to	go	.	daniel	baldwin	(	i	can't	believe	i'm	about	to	type	this	)	gives	the	best	performance	in	the	film	,	outshining	the	other	talented	members	of	the	cast	.	r	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	director	:	scott	silver	cast	:	claire	danes	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	omar	epps	,	dennis	farina	,	josh	brolin	,	steve	harris	,	michael	lerner	screenplay	:	stephen	t	.	kay	,	scott	silver	,	kate	lanier	producers	:	david	ladd	,	tony	ludwig	,	ben	myron	,	alan	riche	runtime	:	93	min	.	us	distribution	:	mgm	rated	r	:	language	,	violence	,	sexuality	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonclaire	danes	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	and	omar	epps	make	a	likable	trio	of	protagonists	,	but	they're	just	about	the	only	palatable	element	of	the	mod	squad	,	a	lame	brained	big	screen	version	of	the	70s	tv	show	.	the	story	has	all	the	originality	of	a	block	of	wood	(	well	,	it	would	if	you	could	decipher	it	)	,	the	characters	are	all	blank	slates	,	and	scott	silver's	perfunctory	action	sequences	are	as	cliched	as	they	come	.	by	sheer	force	of	talent	,	the	three	actors	wring	marginal	enjoyment	from	the	proceedings	whenever	they're	on	screen	,	but	the	mod	squad	is	just	a	second	rate	action	picture	with	a	first	rate	cast	.
neg	an	attempt	at	florida	film	noir	,	palmetto	fails	at	the	most	fundamental	levels	.	it's	slow	moving	,	uninvolving	,	and	plain	just	uninteresting	.	harry	barber	(	woody	harrelson	)	is	an	ex	newspaper	man	,	just	out	of	jail	after	being	framed	for	a	crime	.	his	luck	hasn't	been	the	best	,	but	things	are	looking	up	when	a	mysterious	woman	,	rhea	malroux	(	elisabeth	shue	)	,	approaches	him	with	a	proposition	.	she	wants	harry	to	help	her	and	her	stepdaughter	,	odette	(	chloe	sevigny	)	,	pull	off	a	fake	kidnapping	scheme	to	get	500	,	000	out	of	her	stingy	,	but	rich	,	husband	felix	(	rolf	hoppe	)	.	at	first	,	all	harry	is	expected	to	do	is	provide	a	threatening	voice	on	the	phone	,	and	to	collect	the	money	(	of	which	he	gets	to	keep	10	)	.	but	,	as	the	deed	is	carried	out	,	things	are	not	what	they	seem	,	and	harry	gets	caught	in	the	ensuing	storm	.	palmetto	pulls	out	all	the	stops	to	achieve	a	film	noir	film	,	but	the	effect	never	quite	comes	together	.	it's	got	the	sultry	florida	heat	,	seductive	women	,	and	even	curvier	plot	twists	,	but	the	whole	thing	smells	of	paint	by	numbers	.	sure	,	the	right	ingredients	are	there	,	but	the	end	result	is	much	too	artificial	.	a	lot	of	the	problems	lie	with	the	script	,	which	,	though	providing	some	genuine	surprises	,	is	packed	full	of	leaden	dialogue	and	bland	situations	.	even	the	plot	twists	don't	seem	to	flow	well	with	the	rest	of	the	story	.	some	of	them	,	for	example	,	come	from	so	far	afield	that	they	seemingly	only	make	sense	because	the	writer	needed	a	twist	(	for	example	:	harry's	spontaneous	job	offer	,	or	the	whole	typewriter	situation	)	.	the	characters	are	mostly	lifeless	,	played	to	type	,	but	not	much	more	.	woody	harrelson	plays	harry	with	such	imbecilic	thick	headedness	that	it's	hard	to	even	picture	him	as	an	ex	journalist	.	elisabeth	shue	vamps	it	up	,	but	doesn't	add	anything	special	to	the	role	.	chloe	sevigny	gives	a	terrible	performance	,	trying	to	be	a	sexy	17	year	old	,	but	she	just	leaves	a	bad	taste	in	your	mouth	.	some	of	the	supporting	cast	(	notably	gina	gershon	and	michael	rapaport	)	give	stronger	,	but	,	in	the	end	,	meaningless	performances	.	and	to	top	it	off	,	the	pacing	of	the	film	is	much	too	slow	.	as	the	movie	grinds	to	a	halt	,	you're	given	too	much	time	to	wonder	why	you're	wasting	it	watching	palmetto	.	if	you're	in	the	mood	for	this	type	of	movie	,	you'd	be	much	better	off	going	out	and	renting	some	classic	film	noir	.
neg	i	must	say	that	i	wanted	very	much	to	enjoy	welcome	to	the	dollhouse	.	i'd	watched	the	trailer	and	laughed	hysterically	at	each	line	.	however	,	in	its	full	theatrical	version	,	this	film	is	a	complete	failure	.	dollhouse	definitely	has	its	moments	,	but	mostly	this	film	spent	its	time	flip	flopping	between	attempts	to	be	satirical	and	poignant	often	failing	.	writer	director	,	todd	solondz	,	unfortunately	has	no	ability	to	pleasantly	mix	the	two	sides	it	seemed	he	wanted	to	express	.	the	impression	i	had	of	the	writing	was	that	the	draft	used	wasn't	very	far	from	the	first	one	.	everything	was	presented	as	is	,	there	was	not	one	ounce	of	subtlety	.	dawn	weiner	,	the	young	girl	who's	life	is	pure	torment	,	at	one	point	calls	a	bully	a	retard	.	later	,	the	bully	,	brandon	,	takes	dawn	to	a	junk	yard	where	he	plans	to	rape	her	.	instead	,	he	tells	her	that	his	brother	is	retarded	,	implies	his	feeling	were	hurt	and	they	start	a	relationship	.	as	written	,	this	scene	was	pulled	off	in	the	worst	way	possible	because	it	suffered	severely	from	clichi	itis	.	brandon's	character	steps	up	to	the	fence	,	into	close	up	and	makes	his	declaration	,	"	.	.	.	he's	not	in	any	grade	,	he's	retarded	.	"	todd	solondz	assumes	we'll	start	to	feel	brandon's	pain	,	however	the	scene	is	too	contrived	toward	that	expectation	and	it	proves	that	solondz	thinks	an	audience	will	react	to	'sad	scenes'	like	damned	,	pre	programmed	machines	.	as	a	director	,	mr	.	solondz	is	rarely	competent	.	too	often	do	we	watch	actors	move	for	the	camera	.	as	in	the	scene	i	described	earlier	when	brandon	walks	to	a	close	up	by	the	fence	.	this	technique	kills	any	possible	sense	of	reality	within	the	performances	because	we	are	too	aware	of	their	staging	.	i	have	long	been	of	the	opinion	that	actors	are	not	a	tool	to	serve	the	camera	,	but	the	camera	is	the	tool	to	capture	the	actors'	performances	and	even	to	add	to	it	.	all	to	often	,	i	think	,	directors	stage	their	actors	in	service	to	'the	shot'	when	they	should	be	doing	the	opposite	.	a	great	example	of	this	is	glengarry	glen	ross	.	if	you	watch	,	you'll	notice	that	director	james	foley	is	moving	his	camera	,	not	his	actors	,	for	effect	.	the	performances	in	the	film	are	usually	pretty	good	with	a	few	exceptions	and	there's	really	not	much	to	say	here	other	than	a	few	of	the	actors	deserve	the	attention	this	film	will	bring	specifically	dawn	weiner	,	her	mother	,	her	brother	,	her	sister	and	even	steve	rogers	.	lastly	,	there	was	a	moment	in	the	film	where	dawn	goes	to	new	york	to	find	her	little	sister	.	she	goes	to	sleep	and	suddenly	wakes	up	to	see	a	man	running	down	the	street	with	her	sister	screaming	under	his	arm	.	i	remember	thinking	at	that	point	that	because	this	film	had	already	lost	all	integrity	,	this	dream	sequence	actually	did	tricked	you	only	because	something	this	ridiculously	inept	was	possible	within	welcome	to	the	dollhouse	.	and	it	is	for	reasons	like	this	that	i	think	todd	solondz	did	a	horrible	job	as	both	writer	and	director	.	he	seemed	desperate	to	shake	our	views	of	teenage	life	to	be	an	iconoclast	but	fell	into	clichi	,	which	i	despise	.	this	film	won	best	picture	at	the	sundance	film	festival	and	like	the	brothers	mcmullen	last	year	,	they	both	proved	that	independent	filmmakers	can	make	films	as	cliched	as	hollywood	can	.
neg	release	date	:	february	19	,	1999	starring	:	jennifer	aniston	,	ron	livingston	,	gary	cole	,	stephen	root	,	david	herman	,	ajay	naidu	,	john	c	.	mcginley	,	paul	willson	directed	by	:	mike	judge	distributed	by	:	20th	century	fox	films	corp	.	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	language	,	brief	sexuality	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	office	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	office	.	htm	a	confucius	once	said	,	"	governing	a	nation	is	like	cooking	a	small	fish	don't	overdo	it	.	"	his	maxim	might	be	easily	applied	to	writing	a	comedy	script	,	for	quantity	over	quality	is	one	of	the	worst	mistakes	an	amateur	scribe	can	make	.	granted	,	mike	judge	,	writer	director	of	the	workplace	satire	office	space	isn't	exactly	an	amateur	(	his	most	infamous	work	,	the	mtv	series	"	beavis	and	butt	head	"	was	pure	gold	for	its	network	)	.	but	unfailingly	,	judge	manages	to	make	some	rather	inexcusable	mistakes	in	office	space	by	spreading	an	iffy	plot	over	too	much	ground	.	the	iffiness	in	judge's	plot	a	group	of	coworkers	plan	the	downfall	of	their	despicable	boss	is	not	in	its	appeal	.	in	fact	,	based	on	the	popularity	of	scott	adams'	cartoon	"	dilbert	,	"	which	will	soon	have	its	own	television	series	,	a	satirical	view	of	the	american	workplace	is	a	hot	item	in	hollywood	.	unfortunately	the	concept	lends	itself	to	skit	length	sequences	which	would	be	more	at	home	on	the	set	of	"	saturday	night	live	"	rather	than	a	full	length	feature	.	the	most	convincing	evidence	of	this	are	the	trailers	for	office	space	,	which	feature	almost	all	of	the	movie's	top	content	;	this	leaves	the	actual	picture	appearing	very	deflated	.	other	evidence	of	office	space's	failure	to	work	are	its	lack	of	good	jokes	.	the	comedy	is	marginally	funny	at	best	,	but	not	enough	to	get	a	packed	house	of	theater	goers	to	laugh	out	loud	.	the	material	in	the	movie	is	on	key	for	an	older	demographic	than	judge	is	used	to	targeting	,	and	this	could	partially	explain	his	work	here	.	however	,	the	movie	is	loaded	with	too	many	misfires	including	the	token	plot	to	allow	for	any	excuse	.	the	plot	centers	around	three	or	four	cubicled	engineers	,	headed	up	by	peter	gibbons	(	ron	livingston	)	,	at	a	company	named	initech	.	after	the	movie	elaborately	establishes	the	miserable	working	conditions	at	initech	,	the	movie	introduces	us	to	two	consultants	(	john	c	.	mcginley	and	paul	willson	)	which	are	in	charge	of	"	downsizing	"	the	company's	payroll	.	when	peter	and	his	gang	learns	of	this	,	as	well	as	the	reason	behind	it	so	their	smooth	talking	boss	bill	lumbergh	(	gary	cole	)	's	stock	will	go	up	they	set	about	creating	a	plan	to	see	his	downfall	.	the	circumstances	that	follow	were	obviously	intended	to	be	hilarious	but	they	come	out	as	anything	but	.	a	sympathetic	cast	and	a	muddled	jennifer	aniston	as	love	interest	subplot	are	all	that	keep	this	one	together	,	but	it's	definitely	missable	in	lieu	of	something	more	intelligent	.
neg	wizards	is	an	animated	feature	that	begins	with	a	narration	of	epic	proportions	.	over	black	and	white	drawings	,	we	are	told	that	the	earth	is	destroyed	in	an	apocalyptic	nuclear	exchange	,	sending	the	remnants	of	humanity	through	generations	of	radiation	induced	mutation	.	the	"	original	"	inhabitants	of	the	earth	,	fairies	and	elves	,	return	to	populate	the	globe	,	along	with	their	evil	,	mutant	counterparts	.	one	day	(	and	i	say	"	one	day	"	not	to	be	trite	,	but	because	that's	exactly	how	it	happened	no	advance	notice	)	,	a	fairy	queen	gives	birth	to	twins	,	one	good	and	one	evil	.	the	twins	grow	up	to	be	powerful	wizards	,	the	good	one	embracing	magic	,	and	the	bad	one	utilizing	technology	to	attempt	to	expand	his	evil	empire	.	we	are	given	the	notion	that	an	ultimate	battle	must	occur	between	the	forces	of	magic	and	those	of	technology	.	as	unoriginal	as	the	premise	is	,	i	was	still	somewhat	interested	in	how	this	story	would	play	itself	out	.	there's	a	lot	you	can	do	in	an	animated	fantasy	world	,	after	all	.	i	soon	learned	,	however	,	that	the	fantasy	was	the	expectation	of	a	decent	film	.	once	the	transition	was	made	from	still	art	to	color	animation	,	an	entirely	different	feel	takes	precedence	.	rather	than	the	epic	saga	promised	by	the	narration	,	we	get	a	goofy	looking	world	of	a	saturday	morning	cartoon	.	not	just	the	look	,	mind	you	,	but	all	the	zany	sounds	like	honk	and	boing	when	the	characters	go	jumping	around	like	.	.	.	.	well	,	like	cartoon	characters	.	when	we	see	blackwolf	,	the	evil	twin	wizard	,	he's	pretty	much	what	we	expect	.	the	good	wizard	,	avatar	,	is	nothing	like	he	is	depicted	in	the	opening	.	rather	than	a	sagely	master	,	he's	more	like	george	burns	,	complete	with	stogie	in	foot	.	that's	right	,	he	holds	it	between	his	toes	.	he	doesn't	even	look	the	like	he	did	in	the	black	and	white	drawings	.	how	disappointing	.	papa	smurf	and	santa	claus	are	serious	wisemen	compared	to	this	guy	.	i	imagine	yoda	picks	guys	like	avatar	out	from	between	his	teeth	on	weekends	.	for	years	,	blackwolf	has	lost	his	battles	against	the	magical	forces	of	good	,	since	his	armies	of	ogres	and	other	mutants	would	get	dispirited	or	distracted	soon	after	battle	is	joined	.	however	,	blackwolf	now	has	a	secret	weapon	:	nazis	.	yup	,	adolf	hitler	,	the	luftwaffe	and	the	wehrmacht	.	okay	,	not	the	real	things	,	but	an	archival	film	his	minions	dug	up	.	projected	into	the	sky	for	all	to	see	,	it	inspires	his	own	army	while	shocking	the	enemy	into	submission	long	enough	for	the	ogres	to	hack	them	up	.	before	you	know	it	,	there	are	dead	elves	everywhere	.	this	is	just	as	well	.	the	characters	are	so	bad	that	the	viewer	doesn't	care	about	any	of	them	.	they're	either	silly	,	sappy	,	or	both	.	the	dialog	gets	much	of	the	credit	for	this	.	an	example	is	when	avatar	nonchalantly	says	,	"	well	,	looks	like	my	brother	and	i	begin	our	final	battle	.	"	not	very	formidable	when	he's	also	the	guy	who	says	,	"	this	is	the	biggest	bummer	of	a	trip	i've	ever	been	on	.	"	my	favorite	line	was	from	a	sideline	fairy	who	is	asked	by	her	child	why	good	can't	fight	back	against	the	nazi	charged	evil	.	her	response	is	,	"	they	have	weapons	and	technology	.	we	just	have	love	.	"	suffice	to	say	,	the	characters	are	strictly	two	dimensional	,	and	we	therefore	don't	expect	anything	more	than	the	obvious	to	happen	.	which	it	does	.	the	only	unexpected	occurrence	is	the	way	the	final	battle	between	brothers	is	played	out	,	which	is	anticlimactic	and	disappointing	.	please	note	that	it	is	the	action	that	is	unexpected	.	that	it	is	disappointing	is	not	.	the	film	couldn't	settle	on	a	particular	mood	.	it	seems	to	move	from	dark	to	light	with	the	cuts	from	scene	to	scene	and	even	angle	to	angle	.	scenes	which	are	seemingly	meant	to	contain	deep	meaning	are	ruined	by	acts	of	levity	.	the	dramatics	,	which	seem	to	occur	at	random	,	are	overly	staged	and	overly	acted	,	detracting	from	any	kind	of	value	or	even	enjoyment	which	could	otherwise	be	gleaned	.	ralph	bakshi	,	the	director	,	makes	an	obvious	attempt	to	get	a	message	across	in	this	film	:	hitler	and	the	nazis	were	bad	.	so	who	doesn't	know	this	already	?	well	,	maybe	children	.	okay	,	so	you	might	say	that	this	is	a	movie	for	children	.	it's	not	.	in	the	scenes	where	good	fights	evil	,	there's	a	lot	of	violence	and	gore	that	children	should	not	be	seeing	if	they're	watching	a	cartoon	.	so	is	the	film	for	adults	?	if	so	,	we	probably	don't	need	to	be	bashed	over	the	head	to	get	the	point	.	why	not	have	the	bad	guys	be	symbolic	of	the	nazis	instead	of	using	old	propaganda	in	a	seriously	disjointed	attempt	to	show	us	something	we	already	know	?	wizards	gives	us	a	lot	of	footage	of	nazi	tanks	and	airplanes	,	and	hitler	giving	speeches	.	however	,	we	don't	see	any	reason	why	they	should	be	considered	bad	.	we	see	no	atrocities	being	committed	,	not	even	any	real	battle	footage	.	there	is	absolutely	no	connection	made	between	the	armies	of	evil	and	the	third	reich	,	and	we're	not	even	given	a	cursory	explanation	as	to	why	this	stuff	is	inspiring	in	the	first	place	.	this	needed	to	be	thought	out	much	more	thoroughly	if	a	point	were	to	be	made	,	since	subject	matter	such	as	this	deserves	better	treatment	.	i'd	like	to	assume	that	bakshi	was	trying	to	say	that	the	same	nationalist	movement	that	drove	the	nazis	could	happen	anywhere	,	at	any	time	,	and	we	must	therefore	be	vigilant	.	however	,	i'm	not	sure	if	i	want	to	give	him	that	much	credit	.
neg	starring	david	arquette	,	scott	caan	,	oliver	platt	,	rose	mcgowan	,	diamond	dallas	page	,	bill	goldberg	,	joe	pantoliano	and	martin	landau	director	brain	robbins	canadian	rating	14a	released	by	warner	brothers	04	00	an	80	year	old	woman	jumps	enthusiastically	on	her	couch	,	wearing	tight	fitting	leather	,	as	she	cheers	on	her	favorite	tv	wrestler	by	calling	his	opponent	a	pump	bitch'	.	two	men	messily	eat	fast	food	as	their	septic	truck	leaks	raw	sewage	directly	behind	them	.	and	roughly	17	people	are	booted	in	the	crotch	.	welcome	to	ready	to	rumble'	.	judging	from	the	fact	that	potty	mouth	adam	sandler	is	the	reigning	box	office	comedy	champion	,	you	realize	albeit	while	shaking	your	head	that	yes	,	there	is	an	audience	for	this	sort	of	thing	.	ladies	and	gentlemen	,	i	weep	for	society	.	mind	you	,	when	executed	with	style	and	comic	ingenuity	,	jokes	like	an	alarming	bodily	fluid	mistaken	for	hair	gel	(	there's	something	about	mary'	)	and	a	laxative	induced	attack	of	explosive	diarrhea	(	dumb	and	dumber'	)	can	be	extremely	funny	.	unfortunately	,	ready	to	rumble'	is	not	being	helmed	by	the	farrelly	brothers	,	nor	is	it	bolstered	by	a	script	that	accommodates	the	viewer	with	anything	even	remotely	clever	or	inspired	.	ready	to	rumble'	is	built	around	the	dedicated	fan	base	of	professional	wrestling	.	.	.	.	which	,	in	fact	,	sounded	like	a	fine	concept	for	a	goofball	comedy	.	but	director	brian	robbins	and	screenwriter	steven	brill	handcuff	themselves	,	and	limited	to	a	stampede	of	asinine	,	humdrum	bathroom	humor	,	basically	the	only	thing	they	manage	is	to	evoke	memories	of	pauly	shore	and	bio	dome'	.	gordie	boggs	(	david	arquette	)	and	sean	dawkins	(	scott	caan	)	take	pride	in	being	hardcore	wcw	wrestling	fanatics	.	by	day	,	they	transport	raw	sewage	.	by	night	(	particularly	on	nitro'	monday	)	,	they	pay	homage	to	their	personal	hero	and	savior	jimmy	king	(	oliver	platt	)	,	the	undisputed	leader	of	the	professional	wrestling	community	.	with	two	tickets	to	an	upcoming	nitro	performance	,	gordie	and	sean	are	psyched	about	witnessing	the	king	defend	his	title	first	hand	.	but	unscrupulous	boxing	kingpin	titus	sinclair	(	joe	pantoliano	,	sporting	long	hair	and	cowboy	boots	)	has	other	plans	.	sinclair	is	plotting	to	have	diamond	dallas	page	(	playing	himself	)	pummel	the	king	into	the	tarp	,	thereby	dethroning	the	dignified	wrestler	and	embarrassing	him	in	front	of	a	bewildered	auditorium	full	of	fans	.	gordie	and	sean	are	shocked	,	rioting	madly	while	arguing	this	isn't	even	a	pay	per	view	event	!	!	'	they	take	it	upon	themselves	to	track	the	king	down	and	supply	the	encouragement	essential	for	their	fallen	idol	to	make	a	come	back	attempt	.	along	the	way	,	you	can	expect	a	lot	of	sh	jokes	as	well	.	you	may	find	something	to	like	in	ready	to	rumble'	if	a	)	you	are	a	rasslin'	aficionado	yourself	,	or	b	)	you	are	a	dedicated	fan	of	the	lowest	of	low	brow	comedies	.	i	welcome	low	brow	humor	with	open	arms	that	is	,	if	its	fresh	and	resourceful	.	rumble'	is	nothing	but	a	sloppy	,	frightfully	unfunny	swamp	land	of	misbegotten	retardation	.	the	first	half	hour	is	the	ultimate	test	of	patience	.	luckily	,	the	simple	minded	events	pick	up	steam	,	particularly	with	the	well	choreographed	wrestling	action	.	director	robbins	showed	a	knack	for	capturing	the	brutality	and	excitement	of	football	in	varsity	blues'	,	and	when	in	the	ring	,	he	does	professional	work	.	but	the	violence	is	too	excessive	.	having	the	fake	soap	opera	of	wcw	wrestling	turn	into	a	bloody	skirmish	brings	back	unfortunate	memories	of	owen	hart's	tragic	accident	just	last	year	,	especially	with	one	character's	dive	during	a	cage	match	.	this	is	not	something	you	want	a	comedy	to	be	reminiscent	of	.	outside	the	wrestling	action	,	the	lewd	jokes	and	puerile	sight	gags	bring	new	meaning	to	the	term	scattershot'	,	while	the	dialogue	fluctuates	in	on	the	vulgarity	scale	of	1	to	10	,	with	brill's	extensive	vocabulary	ranging	from	diddly'	to	boob'	and	so	on	.	the	final	tally	:	i	chuckled	a	few	times	,	groaned	a	lot	,	and	indulged	in	one	spirited	belly	laugh	involving	martin	landau	as	a	geriatric	wrestling	coach	who	fights	pretty	impressively	for	105	.	casting	wise	,	ready	to	rumble'	is	an	odd	duck	.	oliver	platt	as	a	champion	wrestling	figure	?	he's	perhaps	a	bit	chunky	,	but	fellow	wrestlers	acknowledge	this	in	the	ring	by	calling	him	fatty'	,	which	dampens	the	blow	i	suppose	.	rose	mcgowan	is	fully	disposable	as	a	sultry	wcw	cheerleader	(	the	nirto	est	of	the	nitro	girls	,	'	proclaims	gordie	)	,	but	extra	pep	is	added	with	appearances	by	wrestlers	goldberg	,	macho	man'	randy	savage	and	sting	(	among	others	)	.	wcw	fans	are	sure	to	appreciate	these	.	others	.	.	.	well	,	won't	.	i	found	merit	in	david	arquette's	bountiful	energy	as	gordie	,	which	brings	me	to	my	finishing	.	.	.	.	ahhh	.	.	.	.	praise'	for	the	film	:	in	ready	to	rumble'	,	i	have	discovered	something	even	more	annoying	than	arquette's	at	t'	television	commercials	.	now	there's	a	low	blow	for	you	.
neg	what	do	you	get	when	you	rip	off	good	movies	like	woody	allen's	bananas	and	martin	scorsese's	after	hours	?	you'd	think	you'd	get	the	best	of	both	films	.	instead	you	get	woo	.	falling	in	somewhere	between	def	jam's	how	to	be	a	player	(	which	was	awful	)	and	booty	call	(	which	was	ok	)	,	woo	is	yet	another	in	the	embarassing	genre	of	showing	african	americans	to	be	nothing	more	than	sexual	buffoons	.	the	whole	film	plays	out	as	a	black	version	of	after	hours	,	as	wild	woman	woo	(	jada	pinkett	smith	)	goes	out	on	a	blind	date	with	straight	laced	tim	(	tommy	davidson	)	.	mayhem	follows	them	.	for	some	unknown	reason	(	read	:	contrived	screenplay	)	davidson	puts	up	with	all	of	woo's	antics	for	the	entire	night	,	which	include	her	destroying	his	bathroom	mirror	,	stealing	things	from	his	house	,	violently	questioning	him	(	accusing	and	belittling	him	actually	)	about	previous	girlfriends	,	causing	a	riot	in	an	elegant	restaurant	,	and	other	various	infuriating	things	that	any	normal	person	wouldn't	tolerate	.	but	for	the	sake	of	this	bad	movie	?	sure	,	why	not	?	there	are	a	few	chuckles	in	the	film	,	the	best	being	the	scene	swiped	directly	from	bananas	.	in	this	case	,	davidson	is	running	from	thugs	,	gets	into	a	subway	car	as	the	doors	are	closing	,	starts	to	taunt	the	thugs	,	then	the	doors	open	back	up	again	.	a	good	joke	,	but	a	stolen	one	.	another	chuckle	is	provided	by	billy	dee	williams'	cameo	as	himself	.	movies	like	woo	are	seemingly	released	every	three	months	or	so	,	and	not	one	of	them	has	ever	been	a	hit	.	woo	won't	be	one	either	.	so	why	was	it	made	?	and	more	importantly	,	isn't	there	anyone	else	besides	me	who	thinks	these	films	are	offensive	?	everyone	involved	should	really	reconsider	their	careers	at	this	point	.	r	the	jacksonville	film	journal	film	reviews	by	chuck	dowling	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	"	chuckd21	leading	.	net	a	1995	1998	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.
neg	if	there	is	one	universal	rule	in	hollywood	,	it	is	that	all	successful	movies	will	have	a	horde	of	clones	following	close	behind	.	such	is	the	case	with	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	.	a	cheap	,	predictable	,	pathetic	excuse	for	a	slasher	movie	,	it	tries	to	follow	in	the	footsteps	of	wes	craven's	highly	entertaining	"	scream	"	with	disasterous	results	.	four	teenagers	celebrate	their	graduation	from	high	school	in	typical	teen	age	fashion	.	they	drive	to	the	beach	,	get	drunk	,	and	head	back	only	to	hit	someone	on	the	road	.	they	then	choose	to	dump	the	body	in	the	sea	,	make	a	pact	never	to	mention	it	again	,	and	go	on	with	their	happy	little	lives	.	a	year	later	,	they	begin	receiving	threats	and	are	eventually	attacked	by	someone	who	claims	to	know	what	they	did	the	previous	year	.	i'm	going	to	keep	the	rest	of	this	review	very	short	,	because	i	don't	want	to	go	off	on	a	two	hour	rant	about	how	awful	this	movie	was	.	first	,	let	me	point	out	how	completely	devoid	of	anything	resembling	a	scare	this	film	was	.	second	,	if	there	is	one	thing	i	simply	cannot	stand	it	is	long	chase	scenes	which	drag	on	for	at	least	twenty	minutes	only	to	end	in	the	exact	way	we	knew	they	were	going	to	before	they	started	.	third	,	and	final	,	i'm	not	going	to	reveal	who	the	killer	is	,	but	if	i	were	to	tell	you	,	it	would	hardly	be	classified	as	a	spoiler	since	the	character	is	only	introduced	at	that	point	.	the	only	reason	i	gave	this	piece	of	garbage	an	extra	half	star	is	because	of	the	performances	of	the	two	female	leads	.	they	both	try	valiantly	to	add	something	to	this	pitiful	excuse	for	a	horror	movie	,	and	i	commend	them	for	their	effort	.	do	yourself	a	favor	and	steer	clear	of	this	one	.	i	give	it	a	measly	star	and	a	half	.	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	e	mail	with	comments	at	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jabii	aol	.	com	"	jabii	aol	.	com	a
neg	directed	by	troy	miller	.	cast	:	joseph	cross	,	michael	keaton	,	kelly	preston	,	mark	addy	,	henry	rollins	,	andrew	lawrence	.	1998	95	minutes	.	rated	pg	(	for	sexual	situations	,	mild	profanity	,	and	mature	themes	)	.	reviewed	december	13	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	mailto	:	filmfan16	aol	.	com	"	filmfan16	aol	.	com	a	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a	"	jack	frost	,	"	is	one	of	those	dumb	,	corny	concoctions	that	attempts	to	be	a	heartwarming	family	film	,	but	is	too	muddled	in	its	own	cliches	and	predictability	to	be	the	least	bit	touching	.	this	does	not	come	as	a	surprise	,	since	the	studio	that	made	it	is	warner	brothers	,	who	is	on	a	current	streak	of	one	bad	film	after	the	other	.	jack	frost	(	michael	keaton	)	is	a	struggling	middle	aged	rock	musician	who	loves	his	wife	,	gabby	(	kelly	preston	)	,	and	11	year	old	son	,	charlie	(	joseph	cross	)	,	but	doesn't	spend	nearly	enough	time	with	them	.	when	he	receives	a	call	from	a	music	label	that	wants	to	hear	him	play	,	he	has	to	cancel	his	planned	family	outing	up	in	the	mountains	for	christmas	.	halfway	there	,	jack	has	second	thoughts	,	but	on	his	way	back	home	,	is	in	a	car	accident	and	dies	.	switch	forward	a	year	,	christmas	is	approaching	once	again	,	and	charlie	and	gabby	are	still	having	a	difficult	time	coming	to	terms	with	jack's	death	.	when	charlie	begins	to	play	the	harmonica	his	father	gave	him	the	night	before	he	died	,	the	snowman	outside	the	house	is	taken	over	by	jack's	spirit	.	jack	wants	to	spend	some	time	with	his	son	before	the	upcoming	warm	front	melts	him	,	but	charlie	desperately	tries	to	prevent	his	melting	demise	.	"	frosty	the	snowman	,	"	is	a	classic	cartoon	,	and	the	idea	of	a	snowman	that	is	alive	works	splendidly	when	animated	,	but	as	a	live	action	film	,	it	doesn't	work	at	all	.	after	a	somewhat	promising	prologue	in	which	the	frost	family	is	established	,	"	jack	frost	,	"	quickly	goes	downhill	,	especially	once	the	snowman	comes	into	play	.	since	jack	has	been	deceased	for	a	whole	year	,	you	would	think	there	would	be	many	questions	to	ask	him	,	such	as	,	"	what	happens	after	you	die	?	"	or	,	"	how	does	it	feel	to	be	a	snowman	?	"	but	instead	,	the	film	focuses	on	a	snowball	fight	subplot	and	an	inevitably	oversentimental	climax	that	could	be	telegraphed	before	i	even	sat	down	to	watch	the	movie	.	the	performances	are	respectable	enough	,	but	no	one	deserves	to	be	punished	by	appearing	in	a	silly	film	like	this	.	michael	keaton	at	least	got	off	easy	,	since	he	disappears	after	the	first	twenty	minutes	,	but	what	exactly	does	he	think	he	is	doing	with	his	career	here	?	i	have	always	liked	kelly	preston	.	she	is	clearly	a	talented	,	charismatic	actress	,	but	has	never	been	given	a	good	role	in	her	life	,	usually	having	to	settle	for	a	one	dimensional	supporting	character	,	as	in	,	1997's	,	"	nothing	to	lose	,	"	and	,	"	addicted	to	love	.	"	joseph	cross	was	probably	the	highlight	in	the	cast	,	since	he	believably	portrayed	a	boy	suffering	the	loss	of	a	parent	.	in	one	of	the	only	subplots	that	actually	works	,	due	to	its	wittiness	,	henry	rollins	is	highly	amusing	as	a	hockey	coach	who	becomes	terrified	and	paranoid	after	seeing	the	live	snowman	.	this	brief	hint	of	cleverness	is	pushed	to	the	side	,	however	,	by	the	tried	and	true	main	plot	at	hand	,	which	is	the	sappy	story	of	a	father	and	son	.	since	i	knew	what	was	going	to	happen	by	the	time	the	conclusion	came	around	,	i	had	no	choice	but	to	sit	there	and	listen	to	painfully	insipid	,	cringe	inducing	lines	of	dialogue	.	some	of	my	favorites	was	an	interaction	between	the	son	and	father	:	"	you	da	man	,	"	says	charlie	.	"	no	,	i	da	snowman	,	"	replies	jack	.	or	how	about	this	little	zinger	,	coming	from	a	school	bully	that	miraculously	becomes	friendly	towards	charlie	and	tries	to	help	him	out	:	"	snowdad	is	better	than	no	dad	.	"	do	people	really	get	paid	in	hollywood	for	writing	pieces	of	trash	like	this	?	the	snowman	,	created	by	john	henson's	creature	shop	,	is	more	believable	than	the	snowman	from	last	year's	unintentionally	hilarious	direct	to	video	horror	flick	,	also	called	,	"	jack	frost	,	"	but	it	still	was	difficult	to	tell	if	it	was	a	person	in	a	suit	or	computer	effects	.	either	way	,	it	was	an	awful	lot	of	work	to	go	through	,	just	to	come	up	with	a	final	product	as	featherbrained	as	this	project	.	as	a	seasonal	holiday	picture	,	"	jack	frost	,	"	is	pretty	much	a	clunker	.	a	better	christmas	film	from	this	year	is	,	"	i'll	be	home	for	christmas	.	"	better	yet	,	my	suggestion	would	be	to	stay	home	and	watch	a	quality	film	,	such	as	,	"	it's	a	wonderful	life	,	"	"	a	christmas	story	,	"	or	,	"	prancer	.	"	"	jack	frost	,	"	is	an	earnest	,	but	severely	misguided	film	,	and	children	,	as	well	as	adults	,	deserve	better	.	i	doubt	they	would	want	to	see	a	movie	about	the	death	of	a	parent	,	anyway	.
neg	the	winner	(	live	1997	)	starring	vincent	d'onofrio	,	rebecca	demornay	,	delroy	lindo	,	frank	whaley	,	michael	madsen	,	billy	bob	thornton	screenplay	by	wendy	riss	,	based	on	her	stage	play	a	darker	purpose	.	produced	by	ken	schwenker	directed	by	alex	cox	running	time	:	92	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	to	assess	alex	cox's	film	the	winner	as	a	loser	would	be	so	indolent	.	it	would	be	derisive	.	it	would	be	glib	.	it	would	be	dismissive	.
neg	happy	gilmore	is	one	of	those	movies	that	you	assume	was	intended	as	a	comedy	,	but	you	don't	laugh	.	it's	one	of	the	most	disquieting	films	i've	seen	not	because	of	what	it	showed	,	really	,	but	because	it	assumed	that	everything	it	showed	would	automatically	be	found	funny	by	its	audience	.	take	,	for	instance	,	the	title	character	,	as	played	by	adam	sandler	.	sandler	is	one	of	the	most	charmless	people	to	ever	step	in	front	of	a	camera	.	like	so	many	other	"	comic	"	actors	today	,	he	assumes	that	if	people	laugh	when	someone	raises	their	voice	to	a	roar	,	people	will	really	fall	apart	laughing	if	he	raises	it	to	a	pavement	splintering	bellow	.	more	is	not	better	.	happy	gilmore	is	a	kid	with	a	hockey	fetish	and	what	some	counselors	would	probably	call	"	an	anger	control	issue	"	.	he	can't	play	hockey	to	save	his	life	,	and	this	enrages	him	.	constantly	.	then	he	discovers	,	quite	by	accident	,	that	his	bad	hockey	playing	translates	into	great	golf	playing	,	and	soon	he's	taking	part	in	a	tournament	that	promises	to	help	pay	for	his	grandmother's	back	taxes	.	how	interesting	is	any	of	this	?	not	very	.	it's	only	made	worse	by	the	fact	that	the	one	gag	in	the	movie	is	happy's	temper	tantrums	.	if	this	were	a	serious	movie	,	it	would	be	something	along	the	lines	of	cobb	:	about	a	dangerous	sociopath	who	is	only	redeemed	by	the	fact	that	he	can	channel	his	aggression	into	a	socially	acceptable	form	.	here	,	it's	a	lame	clothesline	to	hang	a	bunch	of	extremely	uncomfortable	scenes	masquerading	as	comedy	.	here's	the	thing	:	take	these	psycho	behavior	scenes	out	of	this	movie	,	like	the	one	where	happy	smashes	a	beer	bottle	and	goes	after	his	golf	rival	,	and	you'd	have	the	pieces	for	a	completely	different	story	maybe	one	of	those	paul	schrader	films	,	like	taxi	driver	or	rolling	thunder	,	about	tormented	loners	who	take	out	their	anger	on	the	world	around	them	.	but	instead	the	same	ingredients	are	used	to	make	a	comedy	,	and	the	result	is	ugly	and	unsavory	.	why	is	any	of	this	supposed	to	be	funny	?	after	the	credits	rolled	,	that	was	the	only	thing	that	stayed	with	me	.	that	and	adam	sandler's	shrill	and	unlikeable	screen	persona	,	who	on	the	basis	of	this	film	i	won't	be	interested	in	seeing	ever	again	.
neg	a	review	by	jeremiah	"	spassvogel	"	rickert	i've	always	been	a	kevin	kline	fan	,	silverado	,	fish	called	wanda	,	pirates	of	penzance	,	and	even	his	hamlet	on	pbs'	great	performances	.	the	minute	i	saw	the	trailer	for	this	film	,	i	resolved	to	see	it	.	besides	the	fact	that	kline	starred	,	it	looked	like	a	hilarious	film	.	i	got	sucker	punched	by	the	trailer	to	an	extent	,	however	,	as	i	also	thought	,	"	wow	,	if	there's	this	much	funny	stuff	in	the	trailer	,	there	must	be	a	ton	of	laughs	in	the	rest	of	the	film	.	"	(	oops	)	i	packed	up	the	wife	and	headed	to	les	cinemas	del	diablo	(	my	name	for	our	local	multi	multi	plex	.	)	the	film	began	.	.	.	.	the	film	concerns	an	english	drama	teacher	at	a	suburban	high	school	,	named	howard	brackett	.	he	loves	poetry	and	great	literary	works	,	but	his	class	is	more	interested	in	his	famous	former	student	,	played	by	matt	dillon	.	(	i'd	put	in	his	name	,	but	my	wife	won't	let	me	take	notes	during	a	movie	and	i've	forgotten	it	.	)	they	continually	interrupt	his	long	poetic	expositions	with	fawning	questions	about	him	.	brackett	has	been	engaged	to	another	teacher	(	played	by	joan	cusack	)	for	three	years	,	and	has	finally	gotten	up	the	gumption	to	marry	her	.	the	wedding	,	however	,	becomes	the	big	question	mark	of	the	film	as	this	famous	student	of	his	says	during	the	live	oscar	broadcast	that	brackett	is	a	homosexual	.	kline	spends	most	of	the	first	two	thirds	of	the	film	frantically	trying	to	convince	everyone	that	he	isn't	.	the	whole	town	begins	to	examine	every	detail	of	his	life	and	begins	to	identifying	all	those	things	that	confirm	his	sexual	preference	.	his	closest	friends	don't	help	matters	,	bringing	nothing	but	barbara	streisand	laserdiscs	to	his	stag	party	.	there	are	some	genuinely	hilarous	moments	,	one	involving	a	tape	geared	towards	helping	men	assert	their	masculinity	.	kline	is	hounded	by	a	gay	reporter	played	by	tom	selleck	,	who	waxes	poetic	on	the	benefits	of	coming	out	,	while	at	the	same	time	doing	his	best	to	exploit	the	situation	for	his	own	sleazy	tabloid	machinations	.	the	movie	moves	along	fine	and	slowly	builds	to	the	climax	of	the	wedding	.	kline	stands	at	the	altar	and	is	asked	to	take	his	vows	.	.	.	if	you	want	to	be	surprised	,	don't	read	,	i	am	going	to	reveal	the	ending	.	.	.	.	instead	of	saying	"	i	do	"	in	front	of	his	parents	and	most	of	the	town	,	and	even	some	cameras	,	he	says	"	i'm	gay	.	"	this	is	where	the	movie	,	in	my	opinion	falls	apart	.	most	of	the	humor	in	the	film	had	come	from	kline's	insistence	that	he	was	straight	,	while	at	the	same	time	,	loving	poetry	and	being	a	senstivie	guy	,	dressing	well	,	and	occaisionally	acting	prissy	.	it	reminded	me	of	the	"	effeminate	heterosexual	"	sketch	from	saturday	night	live	.	it	was	funny	,	it	was	sustainably	funny	,	and	kline's	performance	made	it	doubly	so	.	however	,	after	the	wedding	,	the	film	drags	on	.	they	should	have	attempted	to	come	to	a	quick	conclusion	,	but	it	then	gets	into	the	serious	side	of	what	he's	done	.	he	reconciles	with	his	parents	and	his	friends	,	some	of	which	had	turned	on	him	.	there	are	several	scenes	which	seemed	like	a	waste	of	time	,	the	scene	with	his	mother	and	her	friends	,	which	was	hilarious	,	seemed	pointless	,	and	the	scene	with	tom	selleck	in	the	bar	with	joan	seemed	pointless	.	finally	,	even	though	i	am	not	catholic	,	i	found	the	scene	with	the	priest	to	be	condescending	.	the	preist	cannot	believe	that	a	man	was	engaged	for	three	years	and	had	not	consumated	the	relationship	,	proclaiming	to	brackett	in	the	third	person	,	"	he's	gay	.	"	it	got	a	chuckle	from	the	audience	,	but	i	was	distracted	by	it	,	and	began	to	tire	of	the	film	.	by	the	time	the	wedding	had	come	and	gone	,	i	found	myself	hoping	it	would	be	over	soon	.	(	much	like	this	review	you	are	saying	)	overall	,	if	i	have	to	quantify	it	,	i	say	,	rising	action	gets	and	climax	and	falling	action	gets	1	2	out	of	.	see	it	in	economy	time	.
neg	deep	impact	(	1998	)	rated	pg	13	for	disaster	related	elements	and	brief	language	out	of	4	stars	:	1	2	(	1	.	5	stars	)	starring	:	tea	leoni	,	robert	duvall	,	vanessa	redgrave	,	elijah	wood	,	morgan	freeman	.	warning	:	spoilers	are	included	in	this	review	.	.	.	but	it	doesn't	really	make	much	of	a	difference	.	deep	impact	begins	the	official	summer	movie	season	,	and	it	also	brings	back	memories	of	1997	.	remember	when	dante's	peak	came	out	in	february	?	a	few	months	later	,	volcano	was	released	.	the	first	film	was	smart	,	exhilirating	,	and	one	of	the	best	disaster	films	i	had	ever	seen	.	the	latter	film	was	an	incohesive	mess	that	defied	logic	and	wasted	talent	.	well	,	it's	deja	vu	all	over	again	as	two	disaster	films	go	head	to	head	in	competition	.	this	time	,	unfortunately	,	the	first	comet	flick	is	so	bad	that	people	may	shy	away	from	armageddon	,	the	upcoming	comet	disaster	to	be	released	the	beginning	of	july	.	of	course	,	the	general	reaction	of	the	audience	was	oppposed	to	mine	,	and	so	i	am	in	the	minority	,	as	i	was	when	i	stood	on	the	side	of	dante's	peak	.	but	while	watching	deep	impact	,	i	began	to	wonder	how	anyone	in	their	right	mind	could	actually	like	this	film	.	apparently	many	did	,	and	it	utterly	baffles	me	.	to	be	completely	honest	,	i	haven't	had	this	little	fun	watching	a	disaster	film	in	my	entire	life	.	volcano	had	implausibilities	up	the	wazoo	,	but	it	was	still	rather	fun	to	watch	.	deep	impact	doesn't	just	have	implausibilities	,	it	also	contains	cheap	human	drama	,	incredibly	horrible	special	effects	,	and	a	poorly	constructed	plot	.	the	only	thing	that	gives	it	a	half	star	above	my	bottom	ranking	is	a	slightly	entertaining	final	fifteen	minutes	and	some	good	actors	making	the	most	of	their	characters	.	deep	impact	begins	in	an	unnamed	year	(	the	year	varies	;	advanced	technology	sets	it	in	the	future	,	but	fire	in	the	sky	is	showing	on	a	local	movie	theater	,	pushing	it	back	to	1993	)	.	a	line	of	students	is	outside	at	night	,	peering	through	telescopes	at	the	dark	sky	above	.	among	these	are	leo	biederman	(	elijah	wood	)	and	sarah	hotchner	(	leelee	sobieski	)	.	leo	unknowingly	discovers	a	comet	,	and	his	teacher	sends	a	photo	of	the	unknown	object	to	an	astronomer	,	who	then	is	able	to	determine	the	correct	path	of	this	distant	comet	in	about	a	few	seconds	.	he	races	off	to	mail	the	information	,	but	is	killed	in	a	reckless	car	accident	.	a	year	passes	,	and	nothing	is	heard	about	it	again	.	we	are	then	introduced	to	jenny	lerner	(	ta	leoni	)	,	a	reporter	for	msnbc	.	she	gets	handed	a	job	to	investigate	a	possible	cover	up	in	the	government	involving	senator	alan	rittenhouse	(	james	cromwell	)	.	she	talks	to	a	woman	who	mentions	that	rittenhouse	was	having	an	affair	with	a	girl	named	ellie	.	after	talking	with	rittenhouse	,	and	unsatisfied	with	the	information	she	gets	,	she	decides	to	use	the	internet	for	help	.	luckily	,	she	knows	exactly	how	to	spell	the	certain	"	ellie	"	that	she	is	looking	for	(	they	spell	it	ele	in	the	film	.	.	.	that	girl	is	pretty	darn	smart	for	guessing	how	it	was	spelled	)	.	before	she	can	use	the	information	,	the	government	decides	to	push	her	car	off	the	road	.	they	take	her	in	to	meet	the	president	of	the	united	states	,	president	beck	(	morgan	freeman	)	.	beck	recommends	that	jenny	keep	the	information	secret	for	48	hours	so	they	can	confirm	it	and	then	hold	a	press	conference	.	naturally	,	she	wants	to	be	compensated	,	and	they	offer	her	a	front	row	seat	and	the	chance	for	the	first	question	.	and	so	,	yada	yada	yada	,	they	reveal	the	comet	to	the	public	and	their	plans	:	send	a	massive	spacecraft	out	to	destroy	it	before	it	can	arrive	.	they	announce	a	plan	called	"	ark	,	"	which	is	their	only	hope	for	survival	.	a	computer	will	select	800	,	000	people	at	random	.	these	people	are	the	ones	who	will	go	into	a	large	cave	underground	so	that	the	impact	of	the	comet	won't	kill	off	the	entire	human	race	.	after	two	years	,	the	dust	will	settle	(	actually	,	it	would	take	much	,	much	longer	approximately	ninety	years	,	from	what	i	understand	)	and	the	humans	could	come	back	to	the	surface	and	start	over	.	the	rest	of	the	plot	is	your	standard	disaster	film	procedures	,	but	there	is	one	subplot	worth	mentioning	.	jenny	and	her	father	,	jason	(	maximilian	schell	)	,	have	a	very	touching	relationship	that	forms	out	of	the	impending	doom	.	the	final	moment	involving	the	two	characters	is	heartfelt	and	emotional	.	it's	a	shame	that	nothing	else	is	heartfelt	.	now	,	of	course	,	we	all	know	that	the	comet	does	impact	the	surface	.	the	title	alone	suggests	it	,	and	the	previews	actually	show	it	!	by	doing	this	,	absoltuely	no	tension	can	be	drawn	from	any	attempt	to	stop	the	comet	because	we	all	know	that	it	won't	work	.	director	mimi	leder	came	from	her	successful	tries	at	direction	with	episodes	of	the	hit	television	show	"	er	.	"	her	major	film	debut	was	the	peacemaker	,	a	pathetic	and	heartless	action	film	.	well	,	this	time	leder	outdid	herself	,	creating	a	film	worse	than	that	one	.	suggestion	to	ms	.	leder	:	please	,	stay	away	from	the	big	screen	,	or	at	least	the	action	genre	.	much	of	the	blame	can	be	placed	on	leder	directly	,	because	the	pace	is	disastrously	off	.	throughout	the	film	we	are	given	subtitles	that	tell	us	how	much	time	has	passed	(	it	goes	from	months	to	weeks	to	hours	)	.	it	literally	feels	like	this	lapsed	time	is	taking	place	in	real	time	it's	that	boring	.	of	course	,	leder	isn't	all	to	blame	for	it	.	screenwriters	michael	tolkin	and	bruce	joel	rubin	have	crafted	a	simplistic	story	that	only	gets	worse	with	time	.	what	starts	out	promising	soon	turns	deadly	(	for	the	audience	anyway	)	.	chock	full	of	cheesy	one	liners	(	"	you	know	,	you	are	going	to	have	more	sex	than	anyone	else	in	school	!	"	)	and	stupid	characters	,	you	might	think	we	were	back	in	the	70s	again	.	only	one	of	the	subplots	is	remotely	interesting	,	while	the	rest	are	forgettable	and	boring	.	and	the	main	plot	is	so	outrageous	that	you	can't	figure	out	if	this	film	is	supposed	to	be	an	action	,	drama	,	or	sci	fi	.	to	put	it	simply	:	the	special	effects	of	this	film	are	a	hit	and	miss	situation	.	that's	right	,	80	miss	,	and	20	hit	.	scenes	above	the	earth	are	well	done	,	and	the	orbiting	ship	is	majestic	.	but	the	comet	is	a	huge	mistake	,	making	it	more	laughable	than	frightening	.	the	concept	of	even	trying	to	land	on	a	comet	is	preposterous	enough	,	but	that's	forgiveable	.	what	isn't	forgiveable	is	actually	having	humans	walk	on	the	surface	.	give	me	a	break	,	will	ya	?	and	of	course	,	the	much	hyped	collision	of	comet	and	earth	.	well	,	it	is	far	from	spectacular	,	and	it	makes	independence	day	look	brilliant	.	the	water	rushing	towards	the	land	is	effective	,	but	once	it	hits	the	continent	,	the	effects	turn	ridiculous	.	cgi	water	is	used	,	and	it	looks	so	bad	that	i	heard	more	laughs	from	the	audience	than	shrieks	.	in	fact	,	i	may	even	recommend	the	film	for	those	who	want	to	see	how	bad	effects	can	actually	get	these	days	.	just	when	we	think	visual	effects	can't	be	improved	,	along	comes	a	film	to	show	that	they	really	can	and	should	be	.	one	thing	has	struck	a	wrong	note	with	me	concerning	mimi	leder's	direction	,	which	also	influences	the	actors	.	leder	loves	to	show	the	actors'	faces	before	and	during	moments	of	terror	.	this	reminded	me	of	another	action	director	,	renny	harlin	(	die	hard	2	,	cliffhanger	)	.	but	harlin	succeeds	because	he	shows	the	faces	of	the	victims	in	realistic	situations	.	leder	likes	to	flaunt	people's	fears	via	their	faces	,	but	instead	of	coming	off	as	sympathetic	,	leder	seems	more	of	a	sadist	.	one	moment	has	an	astronaut	flying	off	into	space	.	this	should	be	enough	to	warrant	a	response	from	the	audience	,	but	leder	wants	to	go	farther	and	shows	us	the	person's	face	while	drifting	into	space	.	this	is	one	of	the	cheapest	ways	to	ellicit	an	emotional	response	from	an	audience	,	and	i	,	for	one	,	am	not	going	to	be	fooled	.	on	another	note	,	leder's	film	only	picks	up	its	pace	during	the	last	fifteen	minutes	when	the	comet	actually	impacts	.	the	pace	does	pick	up	,	and	some	very	emotional	moments	are	shown	.	then	again	,	when	you	watch	people	cry	for	their	loved	ones	,	it's	obvious	it	will	be	emotional	.	it's	mostly	just	a	big	trick	to	rope	viewers	into	"	feeling	"	for	the	characters	,	but	it	didn't	work	for	me	.	but	anyway	,	the	actors	do	as	much	as	they	can	with	what	they	are	given	.	ta	leoni	(	bad	boys	,	tv's	"	the	naked	truth	"	)	is	the	best	of	the	film	,	and	she	is	given	the	meatiest	role	.	her	character	is	made	stronger	by	leoni's	presence	,	and	we	grow	to	care	for	her	.	robert	duvall	is	energetic	and	fun	to	watch	,	but	his	character	is	turned	into	shreds	by	the	plot	.	elijah	wood	also	comes	off	rather	successfully	,	but	he	still	hasn't	had	many	good	roles	(	wood	,	stick	to	drama	!	you	are	too	talented	for	this	stuff	)	.	vanessa	redgrave	is	barely	acknowledgeable	,	and	her	performance	is	only	enhanced	by	her	strong	presence	on	screen	.	maximilian	schell	is	distracting	,	but	he	does	provide	some	nice	humor	.	morgan	freeman	has	been	infinitely	better	than	this	,	and	gives	one	of	his	most	shallow	performances	to	date	(	which	is	quite	remarkable	for	him	)	.	leelee	sobieski	could	have	been	better	,	but	i	think	she	just	suffered	from	a	poorly	written	character	.	a	special	note	should	go	to	ron	eldard	and	denise	crosby	.	eldard	is	good	in	his	role	,	but	is	limited	by	the	plot	.	crosby	is	special	to	me	personally	because	she	was	tasha	yar	from	tv's	"	star	trek	:	the	next	generation	.	"	seeing	her	was	one	of	the	highlights	of	the	film	.	overall	,	a	very	talented	cast	virtually	wasted	.	deep	impact	is	rated	pg	13	for	disaster	related	elements	and	brief	language	.	this	is	one	of	the	worst	films	of	the	year	,	and	if	it	is	any	omen	of	things	to	come	,	this	summer	could	be	one	of	the	worst	ever	.	luckily	,	the	x	files	movie	is	coming	up	,	and	hopefully	armageddon	will	be	more	successful	.	it's	a	shame	that	this	film	will	do	so	successfully	because	it	just	isn't	worth	much	.	costing	nearly	75	million	,	with	special	effects	done	by	the	illustrious	ilm	(	which	is	a	huge	shocker	)	,	and	with	a	score	composed	by	oscar	winner	james	horner	(	titanic	)	,	one	might	have	expected	this	to	be	more	fun	to	witness	and	experience	.	well	,	it's	not	.	when	the	comet	does	hit	the	earth	,	you	almost	wish	it	could	just	take	this	film	along	with	it	.
neg	deceiver	is	a	plot	twist	in	search	of	a	movie	.	this	overly	constructed	film	succeeds	in	having	many	surprises	,	and	,	being	true	to	its	title	,	being	deceptive	.	but	there	is	little	in	the	film	that	is	worthy	of	deceit	.	braxton	(	chris	penn	)	and	kennesaw	(	michael	rooker	)	are	two	cops	investigating	the	brutal	murder	of	a	prostitute	(	renee	zellweger	)	.	their	lone	suspect	is	wayland	(	tim	roth	)	,	a	wealthy	young	man	whose	phone	number	was	found	in	the	hooker's	pocket	.	however	,	a	routine	lie	detector	test	turns	against	the	investigators	,	as	the	crafty	wayland	somehow	turns	the	tables	.	braxton	and	kennesaw	are	forced	to	confront	their	own	troubled	lives	.	braxton	is	a	gambling	addict	in	deep	to	mook	(	ellen	burstyn	)	,	a	local	bookie	.	kennesaw	is	bitter	about	his	marriage	to	a	socialite	(	rosanna	arquette	)	,	believing	his	wife	to	be	unfaithful	.	the	plot	is	twisty	and	complex	,	with	lots	of	lengthy	flashbacks	,	and	plenty	of	surprises	.	however	,	there	are	times	when	it	is	needlessly	complex	,	and	at	least	one	instance	the	storytelling	turns	so	muddled	that	the	answers	to	important	plot	points	actually	get	lost	.	take	a	look	at	l	.	a	.	confidential	,	or	the	film's	more	likely	inspiration	,	the	usual	suspects	for	how	a	complex	plot	can	properly	be	handled	.	the	dialogue	in	deceiver	is	as	overcrafted	as	the	plot	.	for	example	,	the	film	tells	a	few	substories	(	such	as	the	tale	of	a	woeful	absinthe	bender	,	or	an	alternative	telling	of	how	van	gogh	lost	his	ear	)	,	but	they	are	so	flat	and	so	plastic	that	they	come	off	as	prefabricated	and	unbelievable	.	there's	never	the	sense	that	these	are	real	characters	engaging	in	conversation	.	they	appear	to	be	nothing	more	than	words	on	a	screenplay	.	the	characters	,	themselves	,	are	rather	pathetic	and	despicable	.	not	one	of	them	is	an	ounce	sympathetic	,	and	as	a	result	,	the	labyrinthine	plot	is	all	for	naught	.	what	does	it	matter	who	is	guilty	of	what	and	why	?	writer	directors	josh	and	jonas	pate	seem	to	desire	to	emulate	the	coen	brothers'	masterwork	blood	simple	,	or	the	wachowski	brothers'	less	worthy	bound	.	but	,	while	they	have	got	the	plot	twists	down	cold	,	they	need	to	work	on	characterization	and	dialogue	.
neg	some	talented	actresses	are	blessed	with	a	demonstrated	wide	acting	range	while	others	,	almost	as	gifted	,	have	more	limited	types	of	parts	for	which	they	are	suitable	.	as	was	amply	evident	after	basic	instinct	,	sharon	stone	can	play	sensual	roles	with	great	abandon	.	rejecting	her	natural	abilities	,	she	has	spent	the	rest	of	her	entire	career	trying	with	little	success	to	play	against	type	.	gloria	is	her	latest	disaster	.	babe	ruth	didn't	quit	baseball	after	one	season	to	play	football	in	a	quixotic	quest	to	prove	his	athletic	dexterity	,	and	neither	should	stone	reject	what	she	does	best	.	janeane	garofalo	,	for	example	,	is	no	less	wonderful	an	actress	because	she	could	have	never	pulled	off	stone's	part	in	basic	instinct	;	neither	is	stone	any	less	talented	because	she	couldn't	do	garofalo's	comedic	roles	.	gloria	,	directed	by	respected	director	sidney	lumet	and	adapted	by	steve	antin	from	the	1980	screenplay	by	john	cassavetes	,	was	not	screened	in	advance	for	critics	,	almost	always	a	sign	that	the	studio	isn't	behind	the	picture	.	after	seeing	it	in	a	nearly	empty	audience	after	it	opened	,	it	is	clear	why	they	held	it	from	the	press	.	it	is	a	film	more	to	be	endured	than	enjoyed	.	as	the	story	opens	,	an	angry	gloria	(	stone	)	is	being	released	from	prison	after	3	years	confinement	.	she's	got	a	bad	attitude	and	a	big	mouth	.	she	also	has	a	bad	case	of	wavering	and	overblown	new	york	accents	,	a	disease	suffered	by	much	of	the	rest	of	the	cast	.	an	annoying	child	actor	named	jean	luke	figueroa	plays	a	soon	to	be	orphan	named	nicky	.	just	before	his	whole	family	is	gunned	down	by	hoods	working	for	gloria's	ex	boyfriend	kevin	(	jeremy	northam	)	,	nicky's	dad	gives	him	a	banana	yellow	floppy	disk	with	secrets	about	kevin's	operation	and	offers	him	a	piece	of	fatherly	advice	.	"	be	a	man	,	"	his	father	lectures	him	sternly	.	"	don't	trust	nobody	.	not	no	broads	.	nobody	.	"	most	of	the	film's	leaden	dialog	is	delivered	with	the	emotive	power	of	the	automated	time	and	temperature	announcements	.	add	in	the	movie's	almost	non	existent	background	noise	and	the	excruciatingly	slow	pacing	,	and	you	can	hear	the	sounds	of	the	lines	falling	to	the	ground	like	stones	.	lumet	places	his	actors	in	the	frames	like	fruit	in	a	still	life	painting	.	they	stand	awkwardly	mouthing	the	stiff	sentences	that	pass	for	discourse	.	(	"	say	you're	my	baby	,	"	kevin	coos	demandingly	.	"	i'm	not	gonna	,	"	gloria	pouts	back	.	)	the	movie	has	a	plethora	of	logical	flaws	and	implausibilites	.	the	kid	rarely	seems	the	least	bit	worried	or	scared	,	no	matter	how	many	people	are	after	him	with	guns	,	trying	to	kill	him	.	and	in	one	key	scene	,	the	yellow	floppy	he	holds	is	assumed	to	be	the	right	disk	without	checking	it	and	is	further	assumed	never	to	have	been	copied	.	gloria	,	who	keeps	saying	how	she	hates	kids	,	takes	nicky	under	her	wing	and	protects	him	from	kevin	and	the	bad	guys	.	think	her	maternal	instincts	will	show	up	before	the	movie	finally	and	predictably	ends	?	if	you	don't	know	the	answer	,	you	may	be	just	the	right	viewer	for	this	film	.	you	have	to	say	this	for	stone	:	she	can	keep	a	straight	face	.	when	explaining	life	to	a	7	year	old	kid	,	she	says	with	utter	seriousness	,	"	you	got	a	lot	of	love	making	to	make	;	you	got	a	lot	of	boozing	to	do	.	"	gloria	runs	1	:	48	.	it	is	rated	r	for	profanity	,	violence	and	brief	male	nudity	and	would	be	acceptable	for	teenagers	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	written	by	:	e	.	max	frye	(	based	on	the	james	hadley	chase	novel	just	another	sucker	)	starring	:	woody	harrelson	,	elisabeth	shue	,	gina	gershon	,	chloe	sevignysynopsis	:	two	con	artists	find	the	perfect	patsy	in	harry	(	woody	harrelson	)	an	inept	former	journalist	who	trips	and	bumps	his	head	into	a	post	,	tries	to	slap	a	girl	and	gets	poked	in	the	eye	,	has	ill	timed	fits	of	coughing	,	and	fails	at	everything	he	does	.	the	story	is	told	from	harry's	point	of	view	.	harry	always	carries	around	a	shot	of	whiskey	although	he	swears	he	doesn't	drink	.	one	day	harry	is	approached	by	the	con	girl	rhea	(	elisabeth	shue	)	,	who	is	similar	to	harry	in	that	she	carries	around	a	cigarette	but	swears	she	doesn't	smoke	.	seduced	,	harry	agrees	to	participate	in	a	money	making	scheme	involving	faking	the	kidnapping	of	odette	(	chloe	sevigny	)	,	the	teenage	daughter	of	a	rich	man	.	turns	out	,	it's	all	part	of	a	needless	,	very	puzzling	,	extremely	elaborate	and	convoluted	scheme	(	it	involves	hiring	special	impersonators	)	by	two	cons	in	order	to	fool	harry	,	a	hero	who	barely	has	the	intellectual	capacity	of	a	wooden	post	.	when	the	'kidnapped'	odette	is	found	dead	,	the	clues	point	to	harry	as	the	kidnapper	murderer	,	and	the	police	are	hot	on	harry's	trail	.	harry	suddenly	realizes	he	has	been	framed	while	others	have	taken	the	ransom	money	.	can	he	get	out	of	this	mess	?	opinion	:	palmetto	is	a	long	,	uninteresting	film	with	all	the	wrong	feel	.	hero	harry	is	an	inept	bungler	who	trips	up	often	and	consistently	overestimates	his	own	intelligence	.	this	farcical	kind	of	character	works	best	in	an	entertaining	naked	gun	action	comedy	or	dragnet	spoof	.	but	palmetto	is	played	like	a	dark	,	serious	,	detective	noir	drama	,	and	watching	harry's	bumbling	confidence	amounts	to	an	irritating	distraction	.	there's	a	lapse	in	concentration	in	the	middle	of	the	movie	as	the	camera	goes	wild	on	breasts	,	buttocks	,	short	skirts	,	colored	painted	nails	,	and	women's	legs	.	even	when	the	focus	is	supposedly	on	harry	and	his	dilema	,	you	can	always	notice	the	side	of	elizabeth	shue's	breast	forming	a	prominent	foreground	.	towards	the	end	,	palmetto	re	focuses	on	plot	for	the	grand	finale	a	confusing	explanation	involving	impersonators	,	with	woody	harrelson	handcuffed	and	suspended	over	a	tub	of	acid	as	he	hears	the	criminals'	confession	.	if	you	can	imagine	'shemp'	from	the	three	stooges	playing	the	detective	hero	of	an	hbo	'lingerie	suspense'	thriller	,	that's	how	out	of	synch	this	movie	feels	.
neg	a	hollywood	production	office	plush	,	swank	,	business	like	.	interior	.	day	.	writer	jim	kouf	is	pitching	his	idea	.	he	draws	an	imaginary	theater	marquee	in	the	air	and	announces	proudly	,	"	stakeout	ii	.	it's	perfect	.	think	.	it's	six	years	later	.	we'll	pick	up	the	story	where	the	first	one	left	off	.	we'll	get	richard	back	,	and	emilio	.	and	maybe	even	john	would	be	willing	to	direct	again	.	the	thing'll	write	itself	.	"	producers	cathleen	summers	and	lynn	bigelow	look	skeptical	.	"	hell	yes	.	we'll	stick	rosie	o'donnell	in	it	.	anything	she	does	is	funny	.	we'll	blow	up	some	real	estate	at	the	beginning	and	blow	away	some	people	at	the	end	to	satisfy	the	action	fans	.	it'll	be	something	new	,	yet	something	familiar	.	audiences	loved	the	first	one	.	it	can't	fail	.	"	the	producers	seem	sold	.	"	just	one	thing	,	"	says	bigelow	.	"	that	title	.	it	has	to	be	punchier	.	how	about	.	.	.	how	about	another	stakeout	?	"	kouf	agrees	.
neg	outside	providence	(	m	)	.	(	miramax	village	roadshow	)	director	:	michael	corrente	stars	:	shawn	hatosy	,	alec	bladwin	,	amy	smart	,	tommy	bone	,	jonathan	brandis	,	jon	abrahams	,	adam	la	vorgna	,	gabriel	mann	,	jack	ferver	,	jesse	leach	,	kristen	shorten	,	alex	toma	,	george	wendt	,	tim	crowe	,	george	martin	,	richard	jenkins	,	mike	cerrone	,	robert	turano	.	set	in	pawtucket	,	rhode	island	,	in	1974	,	outside	providence	is	a	sensitive	but	largely	uninspiring	coming	of	age	tale	about	a	teenage	slacker	from	the	wrong	side	of	the	tracks	who	eventually	finds	wisdom	.	somewhat	surprisingly	,	this	sensitive	coming	of	age	tale	comes	from	bobby	and	peter	farrelly	,	the	film	making	siblings	better	known	for	their	deliberately	dumb	and	low	brow	sense	of	humour	that	shaped	the	clever	and	hilarious	there's	something	about	mary	and	dumb	and	dumber	.	outside	providence	centres	around	17	year	old	tim	dunphy	(	shawn	hatosy	,	recently	seen	in	the	faculty	,	etc	)	,	affectionately	known	as	"	dildo	"	by	his	gruff	,	embittered	,	widowed	working	class	father	(	alec	baldwin	)	.	tim	protects	his	wheelchair	bound	younger	brother	jackie	(	tommy	bone	)	,	and	hangs	out	with	his	slacker	mates	(	including	an	almost	unrecognisable	jonathan	brandis	,	best	known	for	his	role	in	seaquest	)	.	his	father	plays	cards	and	drinks	beers	with	his	close	mates	,	while	they	discuss	such	world	shattering	events	as	watergate	and	whether	or	not	rock	hudson	is	gay	.	following	a	minor	traffic	accident	in	which	he	rear	ends	a	police	car	while	driving	without	a	licence	and	engulfed	in	a	fugue	of	drug	smoke	,	tim	is	promptly	packed	off	to	cornwall	,	an	exclusive	preparatory	academy	.	a	misfit	and	a	rebel	,	he	struggles	against	the	strict	rules	and	regulations	of	the	college	,	and	clashes	with	his	humourless	dormitory	head	.	much	of	the	film	also	focuses	on	his	developing	relationship	with	the	beautiful	jane	(	amy	smart	,	from	varsity	blues	,	etc	)	,	who	attends	the	nearby	girl's	school	.	outside	providence	is	based	on	peter	farrelly's	own	semi	autobiographical	novel	,	although	the	material	lacks	anything	of	real	substance	or	interest	to	say	.	the	brothers	put	their	predilection	for	crass	toilet	humour	and	hilarious	sight	gags	on	hold	,	for	the	duration	.	they	have	handed	over	directorial	chores	to	co	writer	michael	corrente	(	american	buffalo	,	etc	)	,	who	brings	a	touch	of	restraint	and	sensitivity	to	the	material	.	lacking	eye	catching	gags	about	zippers	,	hair	gel	,	flatulence	and	dead	dogs	,	outside	providence	is	a	rather	straightforward	and	bland	tale	that	ultimately	lacks	broad	appeal	.	it's	difficult	to	feel	any	sense	of	empathy	towards	the	characters	and	their	exploits	.	the	performances	from	the	young	,	largely	unknown	cast	are	solid	.	hatosy	makes	the	most	of	his	role	as	the	likeable	rogue	,	but	he	occasionally	struggles	with	the	uninteresting	material	.	cast	largely	against	type	,	baldwin	delivers	a	restrained	but	insightful	and	sensitive	performance	as	tim's	gruff	but	ultimately	understanding	father	,	and	he	brings	more	complexity	to	the	role	than	was	originally	on	paper	.	outside	providence	is	strongly	reminiscent	of	richard	linklater's	1993	slacker	generation	comedy	dazed	and	confused	,	although	it	lacks	the	same	wicked	,	anarchic	edge	.	the	film	also	lacks	anything	of	real	substance	or	interest	to	say	.	director	corrente	fails	to	imbue	this	disappointing	blend	of	comedy	and	drama	with	any	real	sense	of	nostalgia	,	apart	from	the	superb	soundtrack	of	early	'70's	hits	that	will	strike	a	chord	with	audiences	old	enough	to	remember	those	halcyon	days	.
neg	quest	for	camelot	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	warner	bros	.	1	:	23	1998	g	(	nothing	offensive	,	other	than	lack	of	creativity	)	cast	:	jessalyn	gilsig	;	andrea	corr	;	cary	elwes	;	bryan	white	;	gary	oldman	;	eric	idle	;	don	rickles	;	jane	seymour	;	celine	dion	;	pierce	brosnan	;	steve	perry	;	bronson	pinchot	;	jaleel	white	;	gabriel	byrne	;	sir	john	gielgud	;	frank	welker	director	:	frederick	du	chau	screenplay	:	kirk	de	micco	;	jacqueline	feather	;	william	schifrin	;	david	seidler	hr	"	quest	for	camelot	"	is	warner	bros	.	'	first	feature	length	,	fully	animated	attempt	to	steal	clout	from	disney's	cartoon	empire	,	but	the	mouse	has	no	reason	to	be	worried	.	the	only	other	recent	challenger	to	their	throne	was	last	fall's	promising	,	if	flawed	,	20th	century	fox	production	"	anastasia	,	"	but	disney's	"	hercules	,	"	with	its	lively	cast	and	colorful	palate	,	had	her	beat	hands	down	when	it	came	time	to	crown	1997's	best	piece	of	animation	.	this	year	,	it's	no	contest	,	as	"	quest	for	camelot	"	is	pretty	much	dead	on	arrival	.	even	the	magic	kingdom	at	its	most	mediocre	that'd	be	"	pocahontas	"	for	those	of	you	keeping	score	isn't	nearly	as	dull	as	this	.	the	story	revolves	around	the	adventures	of	free	spirited	kayley	(	voiced	by	jessalyn	gilsig	)	,	the	early	teen	daughter	of	a	belated	knight	from	king	arthur's	round	table	.	kayley's	only	dream	is	to	follow	in	her	father's	footsteps	,	and	she	gets	her	chance	when	evil	warlord	ruber	(	gary	oldman	)	,	an	ex	round	table	member	gone	bad	,	steals	arthur's	magical	sword	excalibur	and	accidentally	loses	it	in	a	dangerous	,	booby	trapped	forest	.	with	the	help	of	hunky	,	blind	timberland	dweller	garrett	(	carey	elwes	)	and	a	two	headed	dragon	(	eric	idle	and	don	rickles	)	that's	always	arguing	with	itself	,	kayley	just	might	be	able	to	break	the	medieval	sexist	mold	and	prove	her	worth	as	a	fighter	on	arthur's	side	.	"	quest	for	camelot	"	is	missing	pure	showmanship	,	an	essential	element	if	it's	ever	expected	to	climb	to	the	high	ranks	of	disney	.	there's	nothing	here	that	differentiates	"	quest	"	from	something	you'd	see	on	any	given	saturday	morning	cartoon	subpar	animation	,	instantly	forgettable	songs	,	poorly	integrated	computerized	footage	.	(	compare	kayley	and	garrett's	run	in	with	the	angry	ogre	to	herc's	battle	with	the	hydra	.	i	rest	my	case	.	)	even	the	characters	stink	none	of	them	are	remotely	interesting	,	so	much	that	the	film	becomes	a	race	to	see	which	one	can	out	bland	the	others	.	in	the	end	,	it's	a	tie	they	all	win	.	that	dragon's	comedy	shtick	is	awfully	cloying	,	but	at	least	it	shows	signs	of	a	pulse	.	at	least	fans	of	the	early	'90s	tgif	television	line	up	will	be	thrilled	to	find	jaleel	"	urkel	"	white	and	bronson	"	balki	"	pinchot	sharing	the	same	footage	.	a	few	scenes	are	nicely	realized	(	though	i'm	at	a	loss	to	recall	enough	to	be	specific	)	,	and	the	actors	providing	the	voice	talent	are	enthusiastic	(	though	most	are	paired	up	with	singers	who	don't	sound	a	thing	like	them	for	their	big	musical	moments	jane	seymour	and	celine	dion	?	?	?	)	.	but	one	must	strain	through	too	much	of	this	mess	to	find	the	good	.	aside	from	the	fact	that	children	will	probably	be	as	bored	watching	this	as	adults	,	"	quest	for	camelot	"	's	most	grievous	error	is	its	complete	lack	of	personality	.	and	personality	,	we	learn	from	this	mess	,	goes	a	very	long	way	.	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	suggestions	,	please	,	for	the	fourth	movie	in	the	series	.	how	about	'look	who's	talking	back	,	'	in	which	the	audience	gets	its	turn	?	"	roger	ebert	on	"	look	who's	talking	now	"
neg	capsule	:	trashy	,	insanely	stupid	keenan	ivory	wayans	vehicle	.	the	title	is	exactly	the	obverse	of	what	it	should	be	.	most	wanted	is	a	stupid	and	incompetent	movie	that	ineptly	mixes	and	matches	several	other	genres	,	and	come	up	with	cold	porridge	.	we	get	political	conspiracy	,	the	death	row	secret	team	,	a	journalist	looking	for	a	hot	story	,	and	god	knows	what	else	.	jon	voight	in	a	general's	outfit	,	too	,	but	the	movie	is	inept	on	so	many	levels	that	i	was	snickering	at	the	sight	of	him	by	the	twenty	minute	mark	.	the	movie	makes	its	foolishness	plain	right	away	.	sgt	.	james	dunn	(	wayans	)	,	court	martialed	for	a	bit	of	gulf	war	righteousness	that	would	not	have	even	made	it	to	court	martial	in	any	other	movie	,	is	sentenced	to	die	.	he's	yanked	off	death	row	at	the	behest	of	lt	.	col	.	grant	casey	(	voight	)	,	who	wants	to	assemble	a	top	secret	special	ops	squad	.	since	dunn	is	legally	dead	,	he	makes	a	perfect	candidate	.	unfortunately	,	the	first	mission	he's	on	turns	out	to	be	a	covert	assassination	of	the	first	lady	,	and	he's	framed	for	the	murder	.	however	,	there's	a	videotape	of	the	whole	thing	,	and	so	off	he	goes	after	it	.	all	of	this	is	over	and	under	scored	by	a	conspiracy	plot	that's	both	implausible	and	painfully	convoluted	.	we	also	get	yet	another	confirmation	of	the	character	economy	law	the	one	person	who	just	seems	to	be	standing	around	with	his	thumb	in	his	ear	,	isn't	.	i	shy	at	having	to	discuss	a	film	this	painfully	bad	in	detail	,	but	i'll	try	.	let's	see	.	among	the	ridiculous	scenes	:	a	moment	where	dunn	confronts	the	woman	with	the	tape	,	then	moves	closer	to	her	,	murmuring	,	"	man	,	i	haven't	had	a	piece	of	that	in	years	.	.	.	"	and	then	reaches	for	a	pizza	box	behind	her	.	groan	,	groan	.	even	worse	is	a	chase	scene	is	that	the	right	word	?	where	everyone	and	his	brother	recognizes	dunn	on	the	street	and	starts	following	him	(	much	to	the	dismay	of	traffic	all	across	the	city	)	.	i	wondered	if	we	were	looking	at	an	outtake	from	it's	a	mad	,	mad	,	mad	,	mad	world	.	there	is	one	good	thing	in	the	movie	.	exactly	one	no	more	,	no	less	.	it	is	paul	sorvino's	performance	as	a	cia	man	(	although	they	give	him	an	opening	scene	where	he's	feeding	the	ducks	,	and	they	have	him	mouth	dialogue	that's	an	utter	embarrasement	to	an	actor	as	good	as	him	)	.	sorvino	has	a	scene	which	so	far	outshines	the	rest	of	the	movie	,	in	fact	,	they	could	have	built	a	whole	new	story	around	it	.	it	turns	out	one	of	his	men	is	a	traitor	,	and	when	he	learns	this	,	he	gives	the	man	a	talking	to	that	has	real	truth	in	it	,	and	which	almost	makes	the	movie	worth	sticking	it	out	for	to	hear	.	almost	.
neg	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	touchstone	1	:	44	1999	r	(	brutal	combat	,	monotony	)	cast	:	antonio	banderas	;	diane	venora	;	omar	sharif	;	vladimir	kulich	;	dennis	storhi	;	maria	bonnevie	;	mischa	hausserman	;	sven	wollter	;	john	desantis	;	asbjrn	riis	director	:	john	mctiernan	screenplay	:	william	wisher	;	warren	lewis	hr	when	a	pair	of	films	from	the	same	director	gets	released	just	three	weeks	apart	,	it	could	mean	one	of	two	things	:	that	the	recently	overworked	individual	is	due	for	a	well	deserved	rest	,	or	that	either	of	these	movies	has	been	sitting	in	a	studio	safe	for	a	while	and	the	timing	is	merely	a	coincidence	.	the	latter's	the	case	with	john	mctiernan	and	"	the	thirteenth	warrior	,	"	which	finally	hits	theatres	a	year	and	counting	after	its	original	spring	'98	opening	and	fast	on	the	heels	of	mctiernan's	"	the	thomas	crown	affair	"	remake	,	a	flick	that	got	good	reviews	.	you	don't	have	to	believe	superstitions	to	wager	a	guess	that	"	thirteenth	"	won't	be	so	lucky	.	reportedly	shelved	following	skirmishes	between	mctiernan	and	producer	michael	crichton	,	whose	"	eaters	of	the	dead	"	novel	provides	"	warrior	"	's	source	(	and	its	initial	title	)	,	this	messy	melange	of	culture	clash	drama	and	brutal	warfare	feels	empty	and	sluggish	sorta	like	"	braveheart	"	without	any	of	the	passion	.	but	the	bloodshed	certainly	remains	:	there's	enough	carnage	on	display	here	to	satisfy	those	in	search	of	purely	visceral	thrills	,	though	please	note	that	the	admittedly	pungent	battle	sequences	containing	all	this	death	and	dismemberment	alternate	with	talky	passages	interminable	in	their	dullness	.	these	circa	10th	century	clashes	involve	a	roving	band	of	cannibalistic	creatures	capable	of	decapitating	opponents	with	their	bare	hands	and	a	dozen	norse	soldiers	out	to	stop	them	from	terrorizing	the	viking	countryside	.	the	good	guys	are	loud	,	crude	,	often	unintelligible	and	judging	from	their	highly	icky	hygiene	habits	pretty	smelly	to	boot	,	which	makes	them	perfect	foils	for	the	dignified	arab	ambassador	(	antonio	banderas	)	who	tags	along	quite	reluctantly	.	they're	also	so	hard	to	tell	apart	that	it	hardly	matters	when	a	few	of	them	meet	violent	demises	.	you'll	wince	,	you'll	groan	,	you'll	grouse	,	"	haven't	we	seen	this	guy	killed	twice	before	?	"	banderas	stands	confused	amidst	the	chaos	,	partaking	mostly	from	a	distance	as	savages	in	darth	maul	facepaint	and	draped	in	the	latest	animal	skin	fashion	run	amok	.	he's	not	the	hero	his	soulful	eyes	and	lean	build	don't	exactly	herald	a	champion	of	shwarzenegger	proportions	and	"	the	thirteenth	warrior	"	wisely	doesn't	pretend	he	is	,	allowing	his	foreign	and	physically	imposing	co	stars	to	step	into	the	spotlight	when	the	going	gets	rough	.	let	the	characters	interaction	sans	swords	and	shields	,	however	,	and	there's	still	a	struggle	for	the	audience	to	follow	or	even	care	about	the	story	.	it	isn't	the	end	until	audiences	have	witnessed	a	half	baked	romance	,	murky	political	intrigue	,	veteran	actor	omar	sharif	(	"	funny	girl	"	)	dropping	by	in	a	cameo	role	and	a	climactic	"	indiana	jones	and	the	temple	of	doom	"	esque	chase	through	the	villains'	underground	lair	.	all	this	clutter	receives	stunning	visual	treatment	courtesy	of	cinematographer	peter	menzies	jr	.	,	but	the	collaboration	between	"	die	hard	"	helmer	mctiernan	and	"	jurrasic	park	"	creator	crichton	should	have	yielded	more	than	sumptuous	sights	,	graphic	action	and	unintentionally	telling	moments	.	heard	during	"	the	thirteenth	warrior	"	's	final	scene	:	a	dog	whimpering	.	how	appropriate	.	hr	1999	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	it	presents	as	comedy	things	that	are	not	amusing	.	if	you	think	this	movie	is	funny	,	that	tells	me	things	about	you	i	don't	want	to	know	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	very	bad	things	"
neg	"	be	gentle	,	"	urges	natasha	henstridge	to	matthew	perry	in	"	the	whole	nine	yards	.	"	"	i	haven't	made	love	in	five	years	.	"	"	neither	have	i	,	"	rebuts	perry	.	"	i'm	married	!	"	if	jonathan	lynn's	latest	comedy	relied	simply	on	jokes	of	that	caliber	and	it	certainly	tries	then	it'd	be	an	innocuous	if	rather	obvious	little	film	.	instead	,	its	failings	go	much	deeper	.	first	off	,	who	hasn't	had	enough	of	the	tough	wiseguy	intimidates	the	timid	wise	guy	genre	?	if	you	want	to	make	a	pretty	penny	or	two	in	hollywood	nowadays	simply	write	a	"	comedy	"	which	pairs	a	robert	de	niro	james	caan	bruce	willis	type	with	a	billy	crystal	hugh	grant	matthew	perry	type	and	wait	for	the	royalties	to	roll	in	.	who's	next	?	jack	nicholson	and	martin	short	?	it	certainly	doesn't	have	to	be	funny	.	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	is	not	a	particularly	funny	film	,	but	it	is	borderline	offensive	.	offensive	in	the	way	it	continues	a	trend	of	poking	fun	at	career	criminals	who	wouldn't	think	twice	about	pushing	your	mother	in	law	off	the	brooklyn	bridge	with	her	feet	encased	in	concrete	.	that	might	sound	like	a	funny	sight	gag	,	but	the	problem	is	these	films	have	long	since	lost	sight	of	the	fact	that	taking	a	human	life	isn't	all	that	funny	to	begin	with	.	when	the	corpse	is	placed	in	a	car	,	doused	with	gasoline	,	set	ablaze	and	referred	to	as	"	barbecue	,	"	it	makes	you	wonder	when	all	this	playing	killing	for	laughs	is	going	to	end	.	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	is	also	offensive	in	so	much	as	its	three	central	female	characters	are	portrayed	as	nothing	more	than	sex	objects	.	rosanna	arquette	plays	a	slutty	,	chain	smoking	french	canadian	who's	married	to	matthew	perry's	none	too	successful	dentist	.	it's	an	unflattering	role	made	all	the	more	so	by	the	unflattering	outfits	and	unflattering	situations	into	which	arquette	is	thrust	.	then	there's	natasha	henstridge	(	"	species	"	i	and	ii	)	who	plays	the	well	to	do	wife	of	contract	killer	bruce	willis	.	she	gets	involved	with	perry's	character	when	he	comes	to	chicago	hoping	to	negotiate	a	finder's	fee	with	mob	boss	yanni	gogolack	(	kevin	pollack	,	transposing	his	vs	with	his	ws	)	after	willis'	jimmy	the	tulip	tudeski	moves	in	next	door	.	henstridge	and	perry's	characters	hitting	it	off	is	about	as	likely	as	bruce	and	demi	getting	back	together	.	perry	might	have	the	charm	but	he	doesn't	have	the	physical	attributes	of	a	traditional	leading	man	,	especially	in	close	up	.	most	objectified	of	the	bunch	is	amanda	peet	,	who	turns	in	a	sexually	ripe	performance	as	perry's	dental	assistant	with	,	it	transpires	,	questionable	career	goals	.	peet's	gratuitous	nude	scene	proves	how	low	this	movie	will	stoop	to	keep	its	audience	from	dropping	off	.	when	"	my	cousin	vinny	"	is	the	highpoint	of	a	directorial	career	including	such	forgettable	films	as	"	clue	,	"	"	greedy	,	"	and	"	sgt	.	bilko	,	"	you	have	to	wonder	if	lynn	chose	the	wrong	career	path	.	perry's	pratfalling	goofiness	coupled	with	willis'	likable	hardness	could	have	had	some	potential	but	with	no	script	to	work	with	,	and	a	director	who	seems	to	be	watching	from	the	wings	,	their	characters	run	out	of	gas	quickly	.
neg	starring	jamie	lee	curtis	,	donald	sutherland	,	billy	baldwin	"	virus	"	is	a	monster	movie	without	a	monster	.	any	movie	with	a	hurdle	that	large	to	overcome	had	better	be	pretty	damn	good	otherwise	.	sadly	,	"	virus	"	does	not	deliver	,	on	any	level	.	the	movie	opens	with	the	russian	space	station	mir	about	to	transmit	something	(	we	never	find	out	what	)	to	a	big	boat	with	lots	of	satellites	on	it	.	sudddenly	,	a	wave	of	colorful	lightning	comes	flying	through	space	,	and	winds	up	destroying	mir	and	using	it	to	transmit	itself	to	the	aforementioned	big	boat	.	cut	to	seven	days	later	,	we	meet	donald	sutherland	and	his	band	of	seafaring	vultures	.	see	,	they	spend	all	their	time	sailing	around	looking	for	dead	in	the	water	ships	to	rescue	,	and	then	collect	the	reward	money	.	at	least	,	i	think	that's	what	they	do	.	along	with	many	other	things	in	the	film	,	their	reason	for	being	out	in	the	middle	of	the	ocean	isn't	really	explained	.	so	,	they	stumble	upon	this	big	boat	with	lots	of	satellites	on	it	,	and	decide	to	haul	it	back	to	russian	waters	.	the	only	problem	is	,	the	crew	starts	disappearing	one	by	one	and	turning	into	borg	.	yes	,	borg	.	complete	with	the	red	laser	beam	in	place	of	an	eye	.	apparently	,	this	alien	lifeform	can	only	survive	if	inside	something	electrical	.	so	,	it	creates	make	shift	machines	and	uses	humans	for	"	spare	parts	"	.	blah	,	blah	,	blah	.	i	could	go	on	forever	describing	the	ludicrous	so	called	plot	,	but	i	won't	.	suffice	it	to	say	the	most	original	thing	about	this	movie	is	having	donald	sutherland	play	an	irish	man	(	!	)	.	everything	else	in	this	movie	has	been	taken	from	other	(	better	)	movies	.	for	example	,	many	of	the	machines	resemble	those	found	in	the	little	seen	japanese	movie	,	"	tetsuo	the	iron	man	"	.	and	the	plot	is	right	out	of	"	aliens	"	.	the	funny	thing	is	,	i	was	actually	expecting	to	enjoy	this	movie	.	i	have	a	soft	spot	for	cheesy	monster	movies	,	like	last	years	under	appreciated	"	deep	rising	"	.	but	"	virus	"	,	as	i	mentioned	earlier	,	doesn't	even	have	a	monster	.	it	just	has	a	big	pile	of	circuits	and	wires	and	expects	the	audience	to	fear	this	ridiculous	looking	contraption	.	"	virus	"	is	the	type	of	movie	that	really	makes	you	wonder	what	the	screenwriter	was	thinking	about	when	he	wrote	it	.	besides	the	lame	"	monster	"	,	it's	chock	full	of	dialogue	that	no	real	person	would	ever	say	,	and	situations	that	no	real	person	would	ever	allow	themselves	to	get	into	.	for	example	,	there	is	a	scene	late	in	the	movie	in	which	one	of	the	characters	actually	attempts	to	negotiate	with	the	alien	!	now	,	i	don't	know	about	you	,	but	if	i	came	upon	a	lifeform	that	viewed	mankind	as	a	virus	to	be	eliminated	,	i	doubt	that	i	would	attempt	to	reason	with	it	.	that	makes	about	as	much	sense	as	a	baby	squirrel	calmly	asking	a	fierce	predator	to	spare	his	life	.	finally	,	"	virus	"	isn't	scary	.	the	least	the	filmmakers	could	have	done	was	to	make	the	movie	just	a	little	scary	.	as	it	is	,	it's	about	as	frightening	as	a	box	of	cookies	.	skip	"	virus	"	.	if	it's	a	cool	monster	movie	you	want	,	rent	the	far	superior	(	and	the	granddaddy	of	this	genre	)	"	aliens	"	.
neg	i've	never	written	a	review	for	a	movie	i	haven't	watched	all	the	way	through	,	but	i	had	to	make	an	exception	with	powder	.	i	was	about	forty	five	minutes	into	this	one	at	a	friend's	house	when	he	and	his	brother	got	into	a	huge	shouting	match	that	would	have	ended	in	violence	had	we	not	left	the	house	.	so	i	never	got	to	finish	the	movie	and	i'm	sure	as	hell	not	going	to	pay	three	more	bucks	to	watch	half	of	a	bad	movie	.	but	i	can	at	least	get	a	partial	review	out	of	it	,	because	i	saw	enough	to	know	this	one	wasn't	worth	finishing	in	the	first	place	.	the	movie	centers	around	a	freaky	teenager	who's	spent	his	entire	life	living	in	the	cellar	of	his	grandparents'	house	.	when	grandpa	dies	(	taking	his	department	store	down	with	him	)	,	social	worker	mary	steenburgen	has	to	take	powder	(	first	and	middle	names	?	gold	bond	)	to	a	state	home	,	where	we	find	out	he's	a	different	from	the	other	kids	.	actually	,	we	find	out	he's	different	when	we	first	see	him	,	because	he's	the	most	pale	individual	we've	ever	seen	and	moreover	he	has	no	body	hair	whatsoever	.	when	powder	is	born	in	the	opening	minutes	of	the	movie	,	the	father	takes	one	look	at	him	and	says	"	he's	not	my	son	.	"	obviously	.	all	i	want	to	know	is	where	the	pillsbury	dough	boy	was	nine	months	ago	.	so	the	white	faced	freak	leaves	his	neverland	ranch	for	the	state	home	and	faces	the	ridicule	of	other	kids	.	that	is	,	until	they	try	to	haze	him	during	his	first	cafeteria	lunch	by	making	him	"	wear	"	his	spoon	(	"	you	can	either	wear	it	on	your	nose	or	up	your	ass	.	"	decisions	,	decisions	.	.	.	)	and	he	uses	telepathic	powers	to	draw	all	the	silverware	in	the	room	into	a	giant	pile	in	the	middle	of	the	table	.	so	if	his	father	is	the	pillsbury	dough	boy	,	his	mother	must	be	sissy	spacek's	carrie	character	.	and	you	have	to	factor	in	two	more	things	from	the	subsequent	scenes	,	as	we	find	out	powder	has	some	sort	of	super	intelligence	(	"	your	i	.	q	.	test	went	straight	off	the	chart	!	"	)	and	attracts	electrical	power	.	this	first	shows	up	as	powder	visits	the	world	of	high	school	(	if	he's	such	a	genius	already	,	why	would	he	need	a	high	school	education	?	)	and	sits	through	a	demonstration	in	jeff	goldblum's	science	class	.	goldblum	plugs	in	a	"	jacob's	ladder	"	device	that	shows	current	running	up	two	wires	and	immediately	the	current	flows	across	the	room	and	into	powder's	chest	.	but	goldblum	just	stands	there	for	about	thirty	seconds	watching	,	instead	of	just	unplugging	the	damn	thing	.	i	guess	he	was	too	busy	contemplating	why	he	was	appearing	in	his	third	bad	movie	in	a	row	(	following	hideaway	and	nine	months	)	.	that's	about	all	i	saw	before	the	big	fight	began	and	,	let	me	tell	you	,	that	was	twice	as	interesting	as	the	movie	itself	.	but	like	i	said	,	i	saw	enough	to	know	this	would	be	one	of	those	terrible	melodramas	about	the	isolation	of	people	who	have	superior	abilities	and	how	hard	it	is	for	those	people	to	assimilate	themselves	into	mainstream	civilization	.	none	of	these	movies	ever	handle	the	subject	properly	,	instead	introducing	the	feeble	beauty	and	the	beast	copout	of	having	a	beautiful	woman	fall	in	love	with	the	guy's	personality	,	overlooking	his	personal	appearance	.	i	already	had	the	female	character	picked	out	(	the	girl	who	was	sitting	next	to	him	in	the	back	of	the	room	during	the	electrocution	scene	)	,	but	i	guess	i'll	never	know	for	sure	what	happened	.
neg	mr	.	nice	guy	is	the	latest	jackie	chan	film	,	so	you	should	know	what	to	expect	.	a	weak	plot	,	terrible	dialogue	,	very	little	acting	ability	,	but	some	jaw	dropping	action	sequences	that	nearly	make	the	rest	of	it	worthwhile	.	however	,	mr	.	nice	guy	lacks	the	sparkle	of	jackie's	best	efforts	,	and	its	weaknesses	are	more	glaring	than	ever	.	jackie	chan	plays	,	who	else	,	jackie	.	this	time	out	,	he's	a	famous	chef	who	hosts	an	australian	cooking	show	.	not	that	it	ever	makes	a	difference	in	the	plot	.	there	are	only	two	scenes	of	him	cooking	.	for	the	rest	of	the	film	,	somehow	he	mutates	into	jackie	chan	,	supercop	.	it	never	does	explain	why	his	character	has	such	superb	martial	arts	skills	.	.	.	perhaps	he	was	in	the	same	cooking	class	as	steven	seagal	in	under	siege	?	a	tv	newswoman	,	diana	(	gabrielle	fitzpatrick	)	,	covertly	tapes	a	drug	deal	involving	kingpin	giancarlo	(	richard	norton	)	and	a	local	gang	of	toughs	,	the	demons	.	although	she	only	has	one	camcorder	,	somehow	the	result	is	full	of	close	ups	and	multiple	angles	.	.	.	hmmm	,	shades	of	broadcast	news	?	?	?	anyway	,	the	goons	discover	diana	,	and	will	do	anything	to	recover	the	tape	.	here	lies	another	crucial	flaw	in	the	story	:	doesn't	anyone	realize	you	can	copy	a	tape	?	oh	well	,	no	one	ever	said	jackie	chan	movies	had	to	make	sense	.	as	luck	would	have	it	,	diana	runs	across	jackie	,	and	,	wouldn't	you	know	it	,	jackie	accidentally	ends	up	with	the	tape	.	this	leads	to	countless	chase	and	or	fight	scenes	which	look	like	they	could	have	been	lifted	from	rumble	in	the	bronx	or	nearly	any	other	jackie	chan	movie	.	in	a	move	apparently	designed	to	woo	american	(	and	other	english	speaking	)	audiences	,	the	film	uses	english	as	its	primary	language	.	however	,	that	doesn't	mean	an	end	to	the	atrocious	dubbing	that	has	afflicted	jackie's	recent	americanized	releases	.	strangely	,	many	of	the	characters	speaking	english	are	overdubbed	with	english	,	and	poorly	too	.	whether	this	is	just	a	very	bad	case	of	looping	,	an	effort	to	minimize	accents	,	or	a	simple	case	of	nostalgia	,	it	does	achieve	the	same	level	of	distraction	present	in	all	of	jackie's	dubbed	films	.	the	plot	in	mr	.	nice	guy	is	negligible	,	merely	an	excuse	to	have	jackie	on	the	run	from	various	goons	.	but	even	though	plots	have	always	been	second	to	the	action	in	jackie's	films	,	it	seems	odd	that	the	filmmakers	have	stuck	us	with	this	tired	retread	.	look	,	if	you	have	jackie	chan	playing	a	chef	,	why	not	use	that	to	your	advantage	?	watching	jackie	doing	his	stuff	in	a	kitchen	,	beating	the	bad	guys	with	foodstuffs	sounds	like	the	perfect	setup	for	innumerable	comic	stunts	.	the	action	is	a	mixed	bag	here	.	there's	really	only	one	no	holds	barred	fight	scenes	that	have	become	the	trademark	of	jackie's	films	.	it	takes	place	in	the	arbitrary	location	of	a	construction	site	,	apparently	for	the	sole	reason	that	there	are	lots	of	nifty	things	lying	around	that	can	be	useful	ala	jackie	chan	.	the	action	in	the	film	is	neither	jackie's	best	nor	worst	,	but	you	long	for	some	more	inspiration	in	the	scenes	.	the	film's	gratuitous	use	of	slow	motion	is	distracting	.	once	or	twice	,	it	may	be	useful	to	highlight	a	spectacular	stunt	sequence	.	but	to	slo	mo	jackie	running	?	either	this	is	a	nod	to	the	six	million	dollar	man	,	or	a	pathetic	attempt	to	disguise	the	fact	that	jackie	may	be	slowing	down	.	if	you've	seen	all	of	jackie's	films	and	are	in	need	of	another	fix	,	go	ahead	and	see	mr	.	nice	guy	.	however	,	if	you're	just	in	the	mood	for	some	good	action	,	you'd	be	better	off	hitting	the	video	store	for	some	of	his	better	work	,	such	as	supercop	.
neg	1990s	would	remembered	as	the	era	of	binary	movie	events	in	hollywood	two	movies	dealing	with	the	same	subject	,	or	,	to	be	precise	,	same	"	high	concept	"	.	in	summer	1994	,	that	"	high	concept	"	was	"	mad	bomber	action	thriller	"	.	in	few	weeks	,	"	thrillride	of	the	summer	"	actionfest	speed	was	followed	by	rather	action	thriller	blown	away	,	so	disappointing	that	most	of	the	people	these	days	associate	the	title	with	the	1992	thriller	in	which	nicole	eggert	did	few	nude	scenes	.	the	movie	begins	in	the	prison	in	northern	ireland	,	where	gaerity	(	tommy	lee	jones	)	,	ira	terrorist	with	the	great	talent	to	make	lethal	explosive	devices	from	almost	any	material	,	escapes	from	prison	.	he	comes	to	boston	,	where	he	accidentally	notices	jimmy	dove	(	jeff	bridges	)	,	dedicated	bomb	disposal	expert	within	boston	police	.	few	people	except	gaerity	know	the	dove's	violent	past	,	when	he	used	to	be	ira	terrorist	before	becoming	sick	with	violence	,	betraying	gaerity	and	emigrating	to	america	where	he	changed	the	name	and	started	using	his	experience	for	good	purpose	.	gaerity	holds	dove	personally	responsible	for	his	captivity	and	begins	the	campaign	of	bombing	terror	,	directed	specifically	at	dove's	colleagues	,	friends	and	relatives	.	dove	,	who	is	just	going	to	retire	and	start	family	,	now	must	confront	the	mad	bomber	.	while	speed	doesn't	even	try	to	bother	with	plot	and	characters	,	using	them	only	as	an	excuse	for	long	and	spectacular	action	scenes	,	blown	away	tries	to	be	more	conventional	and	provide	the	action	with	some	back	story	.	and	that	is	the	main	reason	why	it	is	inferior	to	speed	.	badly	written	plot	and	badly	written	characters	are	sometimes	worse	than	no	plot	and	no	characters	at	all	.	screenplay	by	john	bateer	and	john	rice	,	barely	touches	the	complicated	issues	of	northern	ireland	,	using	the	tragedy	only	as	the	cheap	backstory	for	even	cheaper	drama	.	the	plot	is	,	of	course	,	full	of	implausibilities	.	the	main	one	is	the	fact	that	movie	fails	to	explain	how	the	single	individual	,	no	matter	how	brilliant	he	is	,	can	produce	thousands	of	deadly	devices	and	hold	entire	city	at	bay	.	those	questions	,	same	as	in	the	case	of	speed	,	could	be	forgotten	while	the	action	goes	on	,	but	the	pauses	between	action	scenes	are	filled	with	cliched	and	predictable	situation	that	should	provide	some	background	to	the	characters	.	because	of	them	,	movie	seems	a	little	bit	too	long	,	and	boring	at	times	.	the	most	annoying	element	of	the	film	,	however	,	is	tommy	lee	jones	in	the	role	of	mad	bomber	.	his	acting	is	so	over	the	top	that	potentially	fascinating	villain	turns	into	pathetic	caricature	of	himself	.	this	role	is	in	painful	contrast	with	the	strong	performance	given	by	that	same	actor	in	fugitive	.	the	film	have	few	bright	points	,	though	.	some	of	the	action	scenes	are	fine	,	which	should	be	credited	to	director	stephen	hopkins	(	predator	ii	,	judgement	night	)	.	and	forrest	whitaker	really	shines	in	minor	role	of	dove's	colleague	.	but	,	all	in	all	,	blown	away	is	a	film	that	was	justifiably	shadowed	by	its	more	famous	,	yet	hardly	unforgettable	competitor	.
neg	i'm	spoiled	.	long	before	i	had	ever	read	a	single	michael	crichton	novel	,	i	read	stanislaw	lem	,	the	polish	science	fiction	writer	who	has	far	more	to	say	in	one	book	than	crichton	has	had	to	say	in	all	of	his	.	the	book	in	question	was	solaris	,	a	novel	about	a	planet	that	appears	to	be	a	life	form	unto	itself	.	crichton	probably	didn't	plagarize	solaris	to	write	sphere	,	but	it's	simply	an	infinitely	inferior	book	compared	to	lem's	novel	.	sphere	,	the	movie	from	said	novel	,	suffers	from	all	the	same	drawbacks	.	worse	,	there	has	already	been	a	movie	made	of	solaris	,	by	the	russian	filmmaker	andrei	tarkovsky	,	which	is	haunting	and	chilling	in	ways	that	this	film	,	directed	passively	by	barry	levinson	as	a	holding	action	before	wag	the	dog	,	cannot	even	begin	to	conceive	of	.	the	plot	:	a	ways	back	,	a	psychologist	by	the	name	of	norma	hoffman	(	played	by	dustin	hoffman	)	,	put	together	a	government	report	on	what	to	do	if	e	.	t	.	comes	calling	.	he	named	several	colleagues	of	his	as	members	of	a	"	contact	team	"	almost	jokingly	,	it	seems	,	but	the	government	gets	the	last	laugh	when	the	team	is	activated	for	a	mission	to	the	south	pacific	.	sure	enough	,	down	on	the	ocean	floor	,	there	are	the	remains	of	a	spaceship	that	crashed	there	almost	300	years	ago	.	(	there	is	one	funny	moment	straight	from	the	book	about	the	maker	of	the	ship's	electronics	that	i	will	not	spoil	here	.	)	what	they	find	is	by	turns	intriguing	and	idiotic	.	a	pattern	gets	set	up	:	we	get	the	hint	of	something	that	may	be	an	explanation	,	and	then	we're	forced	to	discard	it	and	start	from	absolute	scratch	.	this	is	annoying	.	when	we	finally	do	understand	what	the	sam	hill	is	going	on	,	it	doesn't	make	any	sense	and	the	conclusion	the	movie	tries	to	draw	from	it	is	just	plain	limp	.	the	effects	are	decent	,	but	they	are	no	more	than	a	light	show	to	support	a	movie	that	really	isn't	about	much	of	anything	.	i	kept	harkening	back	to	the	abyss	,	which	generated	horrible	suspense	with	nothing	more	than	a	broken	umbilical	cable	or	the	exploding	rivets	of	das	boot	.	nothing	like	that	holds	the	attention	here	.	the	actors	try	.	they	do	not	get	far	.	samuel	jackson	is	probably	the	best	of	the	bunch	,	since	he	can	pretty	much	survive	anything	through	a	show	of	attitude	.	sharon	stone	,	who	is	a	better	actor	than	people	realize	(	see	last	dance	and	casino	,	and	the	upcoming	the	mighty	!	)	,	is	totally	lost	.	and	dustin	hoffman	himself	does	a	reprise	of	the	same	territory	he	did	with	outbreak	.	no	wonder	they're	content	to	just	drift	:	the	material	they're	given	doesn't	afford	them	a	chance	to	really	make	their	performances	matter	.	so	.	when	do	we	get	a	tarkovsky	revival	?
neg	"	not	far	from	here	there's	a	fence	.	on	the	other	side	of	the	fence	is	freedom	.	that	gorilla	will	never	try	to	get	to	it	.	"	starring	anthony	hopkins	,	cuba	gooding	jr	.	,	donald	sutherland	,	maura	tierney	.	rated	r	.	instinct	is	the	kind	of	movie	that	inexperienced	moviegoers	will	undoubtedly	label	as	"	powerful	"	or	"	touching	"	.	i	have	a	name	for	it	myself	:	"	gross	"	.	this	is	the	sort	of	film	where	somebody	stands	up	to	a	bully	,	the	bully	looks	at	the	"	rebel	"	threateningly	,	about	to	hurt	him	,	and	then	everyone	else	whom	the	bully	has	heretofore	controlled	stands	up	too	.	how	that	scene	is	still	present	in	so	many	movies	today	appalls	me	:	aren't	present	day	moviegoers	beyond	being	"	inspired	"	by	something	like	that	?	this	is	one	example	(	there	are	actually	some	more	in	instinct	alone	)	of	filmmakers	insulting	the	audience's	intelligence	.	instinct's	plot	is	brimming	with	potential	:	world	renowned	anthropologist	ethan	powell	(	anthony	hopkins	)	disappeared	for	two	years	whilst	doing	research	in	the	jungles	of	africa	.	he	was	found	and	is	coming	back	to	the	united	states	a	convicted	killer	;	he	murdered	to	african	policemen	who	were	allegedly	trying	to	capture	him	.	after	committing	a	few	more	brutal	acts	of	violence	in	the	airport	,	the	authorities	stick	him	in	a	prison's	"	psychotics	ward	"	.	assigned	to	do	an	evaluation	on	powell	is	a	bright	(	or	so	we	are	told	)	young	psychiatrist	theo	caulder	(	cuba	gooding	jr	.	)	.	caulder	starts	out	doing	the	evaluation	merely	for	the	purpose	of	furthering	his	career	.	of	course	(	and	no	mainstream	filmmaker	would	ever	have	it	any	other	way	)	he	starts	really	caring	for	powell	and	he	becomes	fixed	on	helping	powell	prove	that	he	is	not	a	psychotic	and	that	he	should	not	be	in	prison	.	and	then	there's	the	inevitable	"	heartless	meanie	"	character	,	in	the	form	of	donald	sutherland	who	plays	caulder's	mentor	.	he	cares	for	caulder	but	does	everything	he	can	to	discourage	him	from	helping	powell	.	let's	get	one	thing	straight	:	dr	.	theo	caulder	is	the	most	blatantly	incompetent	psychiatrist	i	have	ever	seen	,	on	screen	or	off	.	any	good	shrink	will	listen	to	what	his	patient	has	to	say	no	matter	the	subject	because	any	good	shrink	will	learn	a	great	deal	about	his	patient	that	way	.	not	good	old	theo	.	no	,	he	asks	purposefully	pointed	questions	and	when	powell	dares	to	venture	to	another	subject	caulder	says	"	we	need	to	talk	about	this	right	now	.	"	this	is	a	flaw	only	in	the	sense	that	it	detracts	from	instinct's	already	dubious	credibility	;	unfortunately	it's	also	the	least	of	its	problems	.	director	jon	turteltaub	,	who	made	the	delightful	john	travolta	vehicle	phenomenon	as	well	as	the	surprisingly	above	par	cool	runnings	decided	to	make	this	movie	so	shamelessly	sentimental	that	,	contrary	to	what	this	movie's	promotion	would	have	you	believe	,	it	has	much	more	in	common	with	patch	adams	than	with	the	silence	of	the	lambs	.	it's	not	the	kind	of	sentimentality	that	can	almost	bring	tears	to	your	eyes	(	what	dreams	may	come	aptly	demonstrated	that	)	but	the	kind	that	brings	vomit	up	your	esophagus	(	excuse	the	graphic	depiction	)	.	it	aims	to	"	inspire	"	rather	than	to	touch	hearts	.	as	yoda	would	say	,	inspire	it	does	not	.	it	is	the	ultimate	sign	of	futility	when	a	screenwriter	(	the	very	experienced	gerald	di	pego	)	has	to	resort	to	literally	telling	the	audience	a	movie's	story	.	indeed	,	somewhere	in	the	beginning	of	instinct	,	one	of	the	characters	actually	reads	aloud	the	film's	plot	to	another	character	.	this	,	like	the	instance	i	mentioned	in	the	first	paragraph	of	this	review	,	is	a	horrid	insult	to	our	intelligence	.	i	am	forced	to	wonder	whether	turteltaub	and	di	pego	did	not	think	that	we	could	figure	out	what	instinct	is	about	simply	from	regular	conversation	.	i	think	that	anthony	hopkins	is	one	of	the	greatest	screen	actors	,	and	he	chews	the	scenery	in	this	movie	,	brilliant	as	ever	.	oscar	winner	cuba	gooding	jr	.	on	the	other	hand	is	dreadful	.	his	performance	is	at	least	part	of	what	makes	his	character	seem	so	incapable	of	being	a	shrink	.	i	liked	the	guy	in	jerry	maguire	as	well	as	in	as	good	as	it	gets	but	here	he	fails	to	project	any	shred	of	credibility	or	real	feeling	.	i	love	animals	,	and	instinct's	prominent	save	the	gorillas	live	in	harmony	with	nature	theme	is	certainly	something	i	could	sympathize	with	.	however	this	movie's	execution	is	completely	unacceptable	.	tone	down	the	violence	and	this	will	be	a	chick	flick	.	1999	eugene	novikov	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
neg	okay	,	let's	get	thing	straight	,	right	up	front	.	if	you	have	been	led	to	believe	from	the	trailers	that	the	story	of	us	is	a	romantic	comedy	,	you	are	in	for	a	huge	shock	.	this	is	a	mean	,	bad	,	melodramatic	horror	story	about	two	bickering	people	.	there	is	little	comedy	to	be	had	in	the	entire	thing	.	which	is	a	surprise	.	this	is	the	man	who	brought	us	the	masterful	comedy	when	harry	met	sally	.	and	here	we	are	,	with	people	on	couches	,	talking	to	the	camera	about	their	relationship	.	same	premise	,	right	?	ohhhhhhh	noooooo	.	the	story	of	us	can	be	summed	up	quite	simply	:	bruce	willis	and	michelle	pfeiffer	hate	each	other	.	they	spend	two	hours	yelling	,	cursing	,	crying	,	and	pouting	.	then	maybe	they	get	back	together	.	the	end	.	great	film	?	uh	,	no	.	proof	that	people	like	rob	reiner	have	too	much	power	.	when	you	find	yourself	spending	the	whole	film	trying	to	read	the	wine	labels	in	the	scenes	,	you	know	you're	watching	something	that's	going	to	be	remembered	as	one	of	the	worst	films	of	the	year	.	even	the	music	is	annoying	the	same	acoustic	guitar	based	eric	clapton	song	is	played	at	least	six	times	.
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	the	watcher	"	(	universal	)	just	what	we	need	:	another	lurid	,	trashy	serial	killer	saga	.	this	time	,	keanu	reeves	plays	an	elusive	homicidal	maniac	who	engages	in	a	gruesome	ticking	clock	cat	and	mouse	game	with	james	spader	,	a	burnt	out	fbi	agent	who	has	suffered	a	traumatic	nervous	breakdown	after	too	many	years	on	the	job	with	the	lapd	.	to	taunt	spader	,	who	has	relocated	to	chicago	,	reeves	packs	up	his	trusty	piano	wire	and	moves	too	.	before	long	,	he	starts	mailing	photographs	of	the	lonely	,	unsuspecting	young	women	who	are	his	intended	windy	city	victims	,	challenging	spader	,	along	with	the	chicago	police	department	,	to	stop	him	within	24	hours	before	he	strikes	again	.	in	the	midst	of	this	murderous	frenzy	,	there's	spader's	psychologist	,	played	by	marisa	tomei	,	who	is	even	less	convincing	as	a	medical	professional	than	jennifer	lopez	in	"	the	cell	.	"	writers	david	elliot	,	clay	ayers	and	darcy	meyers	,	along	with	first	time	director	joe	charbanic	(	helmer	of	music	videos	for	reeves'	band	dogstar	)	,	dwell	on	the	warped	thrill	of	the	methodology	and	the	chase	,	revealing	,	early	on	,	exactly	whodunit	since	the	killer	says	he	and	the	cop	"	need	each	other	to	give	meaning	to	our	lives	.	"	plus	,	as	reeves	explains	,	"	we're	all	stacked	right	on	top	of	each	other	,	but	we	don't	notice	each	other	any	more	.	"	after	that	,	it's	all	sound	effects	and	tricky	camera	work	,	along	with	a	muddled	,	discordant	soundtrack	.	james	spader's	acting	technique	can	be	described	as	'wooden	deadpan'	while	keanu	reeves	maintains	his	perpetually	monotone	'dude'	persona	which	sometimes	works	,	sometimes	doesn't	.	chris	ellis	,	as	spader's	self	important	colleague	,	is	the	only	cast	member	who	manages	to	be	convincing	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	the	watcher	"	is	an	appallingly	awful	,	amateurish	2	.	the	real	torture	is	watching	it	.
neg	little	more	than	an	expensive	,	flashy	,	and	painfully	drawn	out	season	finale	,	the	x	files	:	fight	the	future	has	little	chance	to	draw	any	new	fans	to	the	tv	show	,	if	this	is	the	best	that	can	be	done	.	the	movie	opens	with	agents	mulder	(	duchovny	)	and	scully	(	anderson	)	finding	themselves	on	a	new	assignment	after	the	closing	of	the	x	files	.	of	course	,	through	a	bizarre	coincidence	,	their	very	first	assignment	leads	them	to	uncover	a	conspiracy	involving	the	hiding	of	bodies	of	some	would	be	aliens	.	the	plot	turns	alternately	confusing	and	ridiculous	after	that	.	it's	surprising	that	a	tv	show	which	leaves	so	much	to	the	imagination	does	so	little	for	it	in	feature	film	version	.	at	two	hours	,	x	files	is	really	pretty	boring	.	i	found	myself	falling	asleep	in	the	especially	dull	first	half	,	only	to	be	revived	later	by	one	thing	after	another	that	just	didn't	make	any	sense	!	for	example	,	if	the	bad	guys	went	to	so	much	trouble	to	blow	up	a	building	in	order	to	hide	four	bodies	,	why	were	the	bodies	recovered	in	perfect	condition	?	why	does	the	road	the	agents	follow	on	gut	instinct	alone	lead	directly	to	the	bad	guys	?	why	did	a	bee	wait	24	hours	in	scully's	coat	before	stinging	her	?	why	does	the	syndicate	want	to	destroy	the	world	and	if	it	has	the	power	(	imminently	displayed	in	the	film	)	,	then	why	don't	they	just	do	it	!	?	then	again	,	if	a	vaccine	to	this	destruction	exists	(	again	,	displayed	in	the	film	)	,	then	why	don't	the	good	guys	just	release	that	into	the	world	?	well	,	you	won't	find	any	answers	to	questions	like	these	in	the	film	.	in	fact	,	the	movie	goes	a	long	way	toward	undoing	the	mysteries	that	the	tv	show	has	built	up	over	the	last	five	years	.	if	this	is	a	portent	for	the	way	things	are	going	to	go	next	season	,	i'm	not	sure	i'm	interested	.	still	,	i	am	a	fan	,	and	there's	enough	juice	to	sustain	a	fan's	interest	for	awhile	.	it	ain't	much	,	but	watching	scully	and	mulder	inch	closer	romantically	,	and	seeing	some	cool	special	effects	is	worth	the	price	of	admission	.
neg	beloved	(	m	)	.	(	touchstone	buena	vista	international	)	director	:	jonathan	demme	stars	:	oprah	winfrey	,	danny	glover	,	thandie	newton	,	kimberly	elise	,	lisa	gay	hamilton	,	irma	p	hall	,	albert	hall	,	beah	richards	,	kessia	kordelle	,	jude	ciccolella	,	jason	robards	,	tracey	walter	running	time	:	172	minutes	.	in	hindsight	,	maybe	it	wasn't	such	a	good	idea	for	oprah	winfrey	to	give	up	her	day	job	.	america's	queen	of	daytime	television	talk	shows	has	quit	the	small	screen	to	establish	a	new	career	in	movies	with	beloved	,	her	first	feature	film	since	the	memorable	the	colour	purple	14	years	ago	.	based	on	toni	morrison's	acclaimed	1987	novel	,	beloved	has	been	something	of	a	labour	of	love	for	winfrey	,	who	has	nurtured	the	project	for	over	a	decade	.	however	,	this	disappointing	film	should	have	been	much	more	powerful	,	especially	given	the	time	and	effort	spent	on	refining	and	developing	it	.	the	film	tells	of	the	hardships	confronting	former	slaves	as	they	try	to	come	to	terms	with	their	freedom	and	the	costly	legacy	of	their	recent	blood	soaked	past	.	this	is	rich	territory	we	have	explored	before	,	most	notably	in	the	epic	tv	series	roots	.	beloved	is	an	unsatisfactory	and	occasionally	unfathomable	mix	of	history	,	family	drama	,	horror	,	mysticism	,	and	unexplained	magic	that	fails	to	leave	such	a	lasting	impression	.	set	in	the	mid	1870's	,	the	film	centres	around	sethe	(	winfrey	)	,	a	former	slave	haunted	by	her	past	and	the	soul	destroying	sacrifices	she	had	to	make	to	ensure	her	own	survival	.	sethe	lives	in	the	old	family	house	on	the	outskirts	of	cincinnati	and	is	slowly	coming	to	terms	with	her	independence	.	she	is	shunned	by	most	of	the	townsfolk	,	for	reasons	that	we	only	slowly	learn	about	.	the	scars	of	the	past	also	affect	her	daughter	denver	(	kimberly	elise	,	from	set	it	off	,	etc	)	,	who	is	reluctant	to	leave	the	house	.	the	healing	process	begins	with	the	arrival	of	two	very	different	people	.	paul	d	(	danny	glover	)	is	a	former	slave	and	family	friend	,	who	re	enters	sethe's	life	after	18	years	.	he	brings	happiness	and	love	back	into	sethe's	life	,	until	even	her	unassuaged	guilt	proves	too	much	.	the	other	catalyst	is	beloved	(	thandie	newton	,	from	flirting	,	etc	)	,	a	scarred	and	twisted	young	woman	of	mysterious	origins	,	whose	presence	in	the	house	becomes	both	threatening	and	unnerving	.	this	is	the	first	film	from	oscar	winning	director	jonathan	demme	(	the	silence	of	the	lambs	,	etc	)	since	1993's	philadelphia	.	although	he	handles	the	material	with	restraint	,	except	for	a	couple	of	notable	exceptions	,	his	direction	seems	to	lack	a	strong	focus	.	it's	almost	as	if	he	lacks	the	same	depth	of	passion	and	commitment	to	the	story	as	winfrey	and	most	of	the	production	crew	.	three	writers	,	including	richard	lagravenese	(	the	bridges	of	madison	county	,	etc	)	and	adam	brooks	(	practical	magic	,	etc	)	have	shaped	this	multi	layered	story	,	but	there	are	still	a	number	of	problems	with	the	narrative	structure	.	despite	its	lengthy	running	time	,	there	is	a	suggestion	that	many	characters	and	scenes	were	sacrificed	on	the	cutting	room	floor	.	veterans	jason	robards	and	tracey	walter	(	who	both	appeared	in	demme's	philadelphia	)	are	wasted	in	small	,	wordless	roles	.	brief	,	sepia	toned	flashbacks	provides	glimpses	of	some	of	the	horrors	endured	by	the	slaves	in	america's	south	before	the	civil	war	.	tak	fujimoto's	cinematography	is	superb	,	and	rachel	portman's	score	,	which	draws	heavily	on	afro	american	chants	,	is	also	evocative	.	winfrey	runs	the	gamut	of	emotions	here	,	and	her	complex	performance	provides	the	film	with	much	of	its	emotional	depth	.	glover	is	understated	in	a	role	that	never	really	goes	anywhere	.	newton	is	superb	,	and	delivers	an	emotionally	and	physically	demanding	performance	as	the	childlike	beloved	.	despite	its	rich	source	material	and	its	fine	production	credentials	,	beloved	is	a	huge	disappointment	,	and	doesn't	really	endear	itself	to	audiences	.
neg	directed	by	:	betty	thomas	written	by	:	susannah	grant	cast	:	sandra	bullock	,	domenic	west	,	elizabeth	perkins	,	steve	buscemi	mpaa	:	rated	pg	13	for	mature	thematic	elements	involving	substance	abuse	,	language	and	some	sensuality	.	runtime	:	usa	:	103	hr	"	alcohol	and	drugs	bad	.	not	alcohol	and	drugs	good	.	got	it	?	"	just	when	you	though	you've	seen	enough	of	brave	young	women	dealing	with	their	personal	problems	on	screen	,	be	that	insanity	or	alcoholism	,	hollywood	releases	yet	another	one	of	those	'deep	,	emotional	stories	about	finding	yourself'	.	.	'28	days'	is	practically	a	visualization	of	the	usual	'meaningful'	true	stories	that	people	are	so	proudly	retelling	at	aa	meetings	.	gwennie	(	sandra	bullock	)	is	a	young	woman	who	drowned	her	problems	in	alcohol	.	for	her	life	was	a	big	party	,	with	no	beginning	and	no	end	.	this	behavior	has	of	course	estranged	her	from	her	only	sister	and	from	life	itself	.	her	existence	is	filled	with	endless	parties	and	comic	episodes	.	such	as	when	she	got	drunk	with	boyfriend	jasper	(	dominic	west	)	,	borrowed	her	sister's	(	elizabeth	perkins	)	wedding	limo	and	crashed	it	into	someone's	house	.	this	time	she	had	to	pay	with	a	28	day	stay	in	court	ordered	rehab	.	here	she	must	realize	that	the	only	thing	that	can	save	her	is	her	is	redemption	,	willpower	and	commitment	.	most	important	she	must	realize	her	place	and	direction	in	life	and	understand	that	her	life	is	not	just	a	big	party	.	the	film	itself	feels	like	a	rehab	program	,	whining	and	moaning	about	things	that	have	been	said	and	written	a	million	times	.	it	is	a	classic	cautionary	tale	.	an	echo	.	a	big	,	fat	and	expensive	clich	.	a	shadow	of	last	year's	'girl	,	interrupted'	,	which	likewise	followed	in	the	footsteps	of	great	masterpieces	like	'the	cuckoo's	nest'	and	'trainspotting'	.	director	betty	thomas	has	stuffed	her	film	with	so	many	failures	and	errors	,	that	it	is	impossible	to	sum	them	all	up	in	one	review	.	for	some	paranoid	reason	she	decided	to	make	her	film	a	drama	comedy	.	jokes	and	funny	characters	almost	deliberately	delude	you	from	the	really	important	and	complex	issues	:	alienation	,	despair	,	terror	,	confusion	,	loneliness	.	and	what	awesome	power	and	strength	of	character	it	actually	takes	to	overcome	all	that	and	become	clean	.	isn't	that	what	the	filmmakers	wanted	to	show	in	the	first	place	?	even	the	transition	process	itself	seems	like	a	walk	in	the	park	.	betty	thomas'	idea	of	hell	is	a	cozy	,	homey	place	where	happy	alcoholics	and	cheerful	drug	addicts	are	not	allowed	to	smoke	,	drink	or	watch	tv	after	11	.	it	is	simply	too	light	,	simplified	and	unnecessary	sweet	to	be	taken	seriously	.	but	the	worst	thing	about	it	is	that	it	actually	thinks	that	it	is	saying	something	of	significance	.	that	it	actually	tries	to	educate	the	audience	with	its	extremely	predictable	and	primitive	story	.	"	all	you	need	to	do	is	just	say	no	"	,	says	dr	.	cornell	(	steve	buscemi	)	as	if	was	the	revelation	of	the	century	.	and	that's	how	simple	it	is	!	in	fact	i	would	rather	watch	'lost	in	space'	once	again	,	than	return	to	'28	days'	.	as	for	acting	,	it's	acceptable	,	but	hardly	anything	else	.	for	sandra	bullock	it's	an	opportunity	to	demonstrate	that	she	is	capable	of	more	than	'speed'	.	she	handles	her	part	with	a	surprising	professionalism	and	ease	that	certainly	saves	the	film	from	being	a	complete	flop	.	dominic	west	shines	as	the	source	of	gwenie's	devilish	temptations	,	but	elizabeth	perkins'	and	steve	buscemi's	great	talents	are	wasted	on	unnoticeable	and	shallow	characters	.	although	intellectually	'girl	,	interrupted'	was	a	greater	achievement	,	'28	days'	is	superior	in	its	visual	aspect	.	there	are	some	nice	flash	back	sequences	and	occasionally	impressive	pacing	,	but	the	overall	technical	aspect	of	this	film	is	on	the	ground	floor	.	the	most	important	thing	is	that	we've	seen	it	before	and	it	was	a	lot	better	.	'clean	and	sober'	,	'only	when	i	laugh'	,	'when	a	man	loves	a	woman'	,	'leaving	las	vegas'	and	many	other	stronger	films	were	made	about	the	same	issues	.	so	what's	the	point	?	in	other	words	'28	days'	doesn't	contribute	to	the	moviemaking	business	on	any	level	.	if	you're	caught	in	a	snowstorm	or	bolts	of	lightning	fall	from	the	sky	and	you're	standing	in	front	of	the	movie	theatre	,	you	might	as	well	go	in	and	watch	'28	days'	.	under	all	other	circumstances	stay	away	,	because	this	film	equals	8	and	103	minutes	lost	.
neg	'stepmom'	has	the	worst	screenplay	i've	ever	seen	for	subject	matter	contained	within	its	genre	.	contrived	,	pretentious	,	corn	ball	,	and	shallow	are	just	a	few	adjectives	that	would	be	accurate	in	describing	it	.	releasing	it	during	the	holidays	and	using	two	cute	kids	in	marketing	it	is	shameful	as	this	is	not	a	family	film	.	don't	misunderstand	.	it	is	about	family	but	the	bad	taste	it	leaves	in	the	mouth	is	unacceptable	for	children	.	it	starts	out	by	telling	you	that	two	women	who	interact	with	the	same	man	one	the	ex	wife	,	and	one	his	current	lover	,	will	naturally	hate	each	other	at	first	but	will	come	to	accept	and	even	like	each	other	later	on	.	i've	known	families	and	have	seen	it	within	my	own	family	and	circle	of	friends	that	once	somebody	hates	another	person	,	it's	permanent	.	julia	roberts	is	a	photographer	in	love	with	lawyer	ed	harris	(	in	a	completely	wasted	role	)	.	harris'	ex	wife	(	susan	sarandon	)	lives	alone	and	the	couple	have	an	older	daughter	and	a	younger	son	.	the	kids	hate	dad's	new	main	squeeze	and	despite	her	attempt	to	like	and	please	them	,	they	stick	it	to	her	every	chance	they	get	.	every	time	sarandon	and	roberts	see	each	other	,	they	are	like	oil	and	water	.	one	thinks	the	other	is	a	b	while	the	other	sees	her	rival	as	inexperienced	and	unable	to	cope	with	family	.	caught	in	the	middle	of	all	of	this	,	naturally	,	are	the	children	.	one	of	the	kids	has	a	laugh	that	is	so	irritating	that	it	will	make	you	shriek	to	the	point	of	wanting	to	throw	stuff	at	the	movie	screen	.	this	film	is	like	a	rock	that	has	been	thrown	into	a	pond	.	it	sinks	straight	to	the	bottom	.	it	goes	nowhere	in	a	credible	fashion	in	a	running	time	of	more	than	two	hours	.	the	performances	in	'stepmom'	are	somewhat	admirable	but	it's	too	bad	the	actors	didn't	have	the	wisdom	to	realize	that	by	making	the	most	of	a	bad	script	can't	make	for	a	good	movie	.	'stepmom'	has	the	worst	poker	face	i've	ever	seen	.	it's	obvious	and	doesn't	know	how	to	cover	up	its	sugar	coated	shortcomings	and	therefore	it	fails	.	chris	columbus	(	'home	alone'	,	'mrs	.	doubtfire'	)	directs	this	film	without	a	clue	as	to	how	you	go	about	the	usual	input	of	a	director's	own	idea	of	how	a	film	is	shaped	to	decide	its	final	outcome	.	upon	reading	a	script	,	a	director	can	make	a	fairly	good	film	from	a	superficial	screenplay	and	therefore	a	film	can	be	redeemed	at	least	part	of	the	way	.	the	screenplay	by	gigi	levangie	,	jessie	nelson	,	steven	rogers	,	karen	leigh	hopkins	and	ron	bass	(	five	people	?	)	has	enough	laughably	bad	dialogue	to	insult	the	intelligence	of	even	the	most	casual	movie	fan	who	only	sees	about	five	or	six	movies	per	year	.	as	studios	continue	to	take	away	more	and	more	of	a	director's	artistic	licence	,	movie	audiences	will	find	less	and	less	to	appreciate	,	especially	film	buffs	.	with	standards	being	lowered	,	box	office	figures	continue	to	rise	,	not	because	audiences	are	pleased	with	the	results	of	a	final	cut	and	keep	coming	back	but	because	movie	theatres	are	being	built	with	bigger	and	better	technology	to	distract	us	away	from	the	movie	and	into	the	theatre's	coffee	shop	,	restaurant	or	arcade	which	sometimes	are	more	entertaining	.
neg	director	:	roland	emmerich	writer	:	dean	devlin	and	roland	emmerich	starring	:	james	spader	,	kurt	russel	,	jaye	davidon	,	french	stewart	to	put	it	bluntly	,	ed	wood	would	have	been	proud	of	this	.	a	totally	ridiculous	plot	is	encompassed	with	bad	humor	,	hokey	drama	,	zero	logic	and	a	crap	screenplay	.	also	,	a	beautifully	anti	climactic	ending	.	not	to	say	it	didn't	look	intriguing	when	i	saw	the	previews	.	so	much	for	truth	in	advertising	.	roland	emmerich	,	who's	later	"	independence	day	"	would	look	like	"	the	400	blows	"	compared	to	this	,	co	writed	and	directed	this	inane	sci	fi	film	which	uses	the	cliche	of	there	being	some	connection	between	eqypt	and	aliens	.	in	a	useless	opening	sequence	,	men	find	a	stone	in	1914	with	hieroglyphics	on	it	.	it	wouldn't	be	till	present	day	(	'94	)	till	they	would	actually	figure	it	out	.	they're	decipherer	?	a	slightly	neurotic	scientist	(	nice	twist	)	,	dr	.	dan	jackson	(	james	spader	,	doing	his	best	outside	of	erotic	thrillers	and	some	indy	fare	)	who's	life	sucks	so	much	that	people	walk	out	of	his	lectures	after	the	third	word	.	why	do	they	use	him	to	decipher	what	no	one	else	could	?	so	there	is	a	hokey	ending	!	duh	!	he	figures	it	out	in	about	a	minute	.	yea	.	and	then	they	get	a	suicidal	colonel	or	something	,	"	jack	"	o'neill	(	kurt	russel	,	with	his	wyat	earp	locks	in	the	beginning	then	a	flat	top	that	would	make	howie	long	snap	into	a	fetal	position	)	.	why	a	suicidal	colonel	?	for	the	ending	!	you'll	get	the	hang	of	this	.	they	open	the	stargate	,	a	bunch	of	them	go	through	it	with	a	bomb	to	blow	it	up	if	they	find	anything	bad	.	after	an	overdone	special	effects	thing	,	they're	.	.	.	inside	a	goddam	pyramid	.	so	they	went	to	egypt	,	right	?	wrong	.	they're	on	another	planet	that	was	filmed	in	egypt	.	they	discover	a	cilvilization	ruled	by	ra	,	the	sun	god	(	the	androginous	jaye	davidson	,	with	a	voice	modifier	to	make	him	sound	like	barry	white	with	asthma	)	,	and	there	are	fights	,	explosions	and	a	kiss	between	two	people	.	yea	.	also	melodrama	,	stupidity	,	hokey	scenes	and	a	bizarre	language	.	an	anti	climactic	ending	ends	with	stupid	lines	(	"	say	hello	to	king	tut	,	asswhole	!	"	the	quintessential	line	,	lemme	tell	ya	)	and	some	convenient	pesudo	pseudo	pseudo	character	development	.	by	the	end	,	you	just	wanna	go	home	and	watch	,	i	don't	know	,	the	"	outer	limits	"	or	something	.	the	script's	terrible	.	the	special	effects	are	okay	,	but	nothing	great	.	the	story's	so	weak	that	it's	almost	opaque	.	the	whole	experience	just	isn't	worth	it	unless	you're	so	bored	that	you'd	consider	watching	a	"	full	house	"	marathon	.	.	.	or	this	.	i'd	pick	this	,	obviously	,	but	still	,	it's	just	not	fun	at	all	.	and	i	can't	wait	for	it	to	premier	on	mst3k	.
neg	release	date	:	december	25	,	1998	starring	:	elijah	wood	,	piper	laurie	,	josh	hartnett	,	laura	harris	,	robert	patrick	,	clea	duvall	,	usher	raymond	,	salma	hayek	directed	by	:	robert	rodriguez	distributed	by	:	miramax	films	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	strong	violence	,	language	,	brief	nudity	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	faculty	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	faculty	.	htm	a	georges	polti	once	wrote	a	paper	called	"	the	thirty	six	dramatic	situations	,	"	in	which	he	asserted	the	fact	that	all	drama	could	be	defined	by	no	more	than	thirty	six	different	situations	.	this	may	be	the	modern	restatement	of	the	biblical	prophecy	from	ecclesiastes	,	"	there's	nothing	new	under	the	sun	.	"	the	faculty	,	the	latest	movie	by	from	dusk	till	dawn	director	robert	rodriguez	,	certainly	proves	this	in	typical	hollywood	fashion	.	there's	not	a	measureable	fraction	of	original	material	in	this	unworthy	outing	.	drawing	elements	from	both	the	puppet	masters	and	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	,	screenwriter	kevin	williamson	(	of	scream	2	credit	)	gives	us	a	horror	tale	set	in	middle	america	(	ohio	)	one	eventful	fall	.	making	use	of	a	cast	of	unusually	stock	characters	,	williamson	designs	an	alien	invasion	that	will	not	be	done	independence	day	style	but	rather	"	through	the	back	door	.	"	parasitic	aliens	take	over	the	faculty	of	a	run	down	high	school	and	soon	have	infested	most	of	the	student	body	,	leaving	it	up	to	the	ensemble	of	principal	characters	to	win	the	day	.	the	lack	of	gusto	is	the	movie's	major	stumbling	block	.	even	though	the	genre	has	seen	movies	that	have	a	lack	for	quality	such	as	this	,	they've	been	saved	by	an	energetic	approach	.	this	casts	more	than	a	shadow	of	a	doubt	on	williamson's	ability	,	who	enjoyed	success	with	the	wes	craven	directed	scream	but	couldn't	pull	anything	solid	in	for	this	outing	or	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	.	although	he	designs	the	faculty	with	more	of	a	sci	fi	bent	than	his	typical	slasher	picture	,	it	still	comes	down	to	the	same	results	:	throw	the	stock	characters	in	a	steel	cage	match	and	see	who	comes	out	alive	.	on	that	level	,	the	main	roles	are	played	by	virtual	unknowns	.	only	the	recognizeable	elijah	wood	(	deep	impact	)	is	at	the	front	;	other	than	that	,	the	screen	veterans	are	saved	for	the	minor	roles	of	the	alien	teachers	.	perhaps	williamson	has	it	in	mind	to	champion	these	up	and	comers	to	the	fame	that	their	scream	and	last	summer	counterparts	achieved	;	but	to	do	that	,	they'd	all	need	to	star	in	their	own	wb	television	show	about	the	horrors	of	puberty	a	la	"	dawson's	creek	.	"	needless	to	say	the	acting	is	far	from	top	notch	,	nor	does	necessity	ask	that	it	should	be	.	there	is	a	moment	or	two	of	genuine	horror	,	but	unfortunately	williamson	and	rodriguez	did	not	take	the	story	far	enough	in	the	sci	fi	direction	to	make	any	use	of	it	.	in	sum	,	the	faculty	was	just	one	long	shot	that	did	not	pay	off	.
neg	america's	sweethearts	(	2001	)	julia	roberts	,	billy	crystal	,	catherine	zeta	jones	,	john	cusack	,	hank	azaria	,	stanley	tucci	,	christopher	walken	,	seth	green	.	screenplay	by	billy	crystal	peter	tolan	.	directed	by	joe	roth	.	100	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	2	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	"	america's	sweethearts	"	has	an	intriguing	premise	and	a	great	cast	,	but	it	isn't	nearly	as	edgy	or	funny	as	it	should	be	.	almost	all	the	problems	with	the	project	can	be	traced	back	to	co	script	writer	billy	crystal	,	who	shows	the	same	lack	of	discipline	with	the	screenplay	that	he	typically	displays	while	co	hosting	"	comic	relief	"	charity	shows	with	robin	williams	and	whoopi	goldberg	(	two	other	paragons	of	self	indulgence	)	.	crystal	ignores	a	simple	,	but	crucial	,	rule	:	for	a	screwball	comedy	to	work	,	the	characters	must	be	placed	into	a	rigid	social	setting	,	because	only	in	that	context	will	their	unorthodox	antics	be	humorous	.	"	america's	sweethearts	"	takes	place	at	a	press	junket	,	where	decorum	must	be	maintained	in	front	of	the	reporters	.	it's	a	promising	set	up	,	but	the	screenplay	quickly	blows	off	the	rules	,	thus	dissipating	the	tension	of	the	situation	.	by	the	end	of	the	film	,	all	the	lead	performers	participate	in	a	huge	fight	with	a	room	full	of	journalists	looking	on	,	but	their	outbursts	are	only	mildly	amusing	because	the	structure	has	been	destroyed	.	john	cusack	and	catherine	zeta	jones	play	eddie	thomas	and	gwen	harrison	,	a	beloved	acting	duo	whose	marriage	hit	the	skids	when	gwen	began	seeing	hector	(	hank	azaria	)	,	a	spanish	actor	with	an	ego	almost	as	pronounced	as	his	lisp	.	of	the	last	nine	films	eddie	and	gwen	made	together	,	six	crossed	the	100	million	mark	,	but	the	prospects	for	their	final	effort	,	a	space	opus	titled	"	time	over	time	,	"	are	far	from	rosy	.	while	eddie	has	spent	many	months	in	a	new	age	rest	clinic	fretting	over	the	breakup	,	gwen's	solo	films	have	tanked	.	to	make	matter	worse	,	the	director	of	the	movie	(	christopher	walken	)	,	a	"	visionary	"	who	purchased	the	unabomber's	cabin	and	had	it	moved	to	his	backyard	,	is	withholding	the	film	from	the	studio	,	insisting	that	the	first	screening	be	held	at	the	junket	.	desperate	to	win	over	the	press	,	the	studio	elects	to	hire	lee	(	billy	crystal	)	,	a	recently	fired	publicist	,	to	salvage	the	situation	.	lee	hopes	to	turn	lemons	into	lemonade	by	convincing	eddie	and	gwen	to	pretend	to	be	on	the	road	to	reconciliation	.	he	enlists	the	help	of	kiki	(	julia	roberts	)	,	gwen's	sister	,	personal	assistant	and	whipping	girl	.	what	lee	doesn't	know	is	that	kiki	is	in	love	with	eddie	,	a	fact	that	could	temper	her	effectiveness	.	press	junkets	are	a	haven	for	control	freaks	.	studios	fly	journalists	in	from	around	the	world	and	put	them	up	in	a	plush	hotel	,	with	food	and	drink	always	at	hand	.	generally	,	on	the	evening	of	their	arrival	,	writers	are	bussed	to	see	the	featured	film	,	then	ferreted	straight	back	to	the	hotel	.	the	next	day	,	writers	go	to	the	studio	suites	and	assemble	in	groups	of	five	or	six	for	roundtable	interviews	.	every	30	minutes	or	so	,	a	producer	,	director	,	writer	or	actor	is	brought	into	the	room	for	a	few	minutes	of	questions	,	with	a	publicist	hovering	in	the	corner	to	keep	an	eye	on	things	.	the	atmosphere	is	one	of	cordial	oppression	writers	are	free	to	ask	what	they	want	,	but	understand	that	if	the	studio	dislikes	a	question	,	they	may	not	be	invited	to	future	junkets	.	representatives	from	tv	stations	face	even	more	restrictions	.	they	get	roughly	five	minutes	to	interview	each	member	of	the	cast	and	crew	,	with	the	studio	filming	the	exchanges	.	the	"	reporters	"	are	notorious	for	tossing	softball	questions	as	they	suck	up	to	the	stars	,	but	to	play	it	safe	,	the	studios	stand	ready	to	erase	the	tapes	if	anything	unpleasant	occurs	.	placing	two	spoiled	actors	in	a	setting	where	image	is	everything	is	inspired	,	but	the	screenplay	undermines	the	conceit	.	the	junket	is	moved	from	the	handsome	,	but	highly	confining	,	four	seasons	hotel	to	a	plush	resort	near	las	vegas	.	for	most	of	the	film	,	the	movie	stars	run	around	the	sprawling	grounds	,	completely	safe	from	the	eyes	of	the	press	.	when	they	do	deal	with	journalists	,	the	"	it	is	imperative	that	you	be	on	your	best	behavior	in	front	of	the	reporters	"	premise	is	de	clawed	.	gwen	and	eddie	insult	each	other	while	the	tv	cameras	roll	,	they	scream	at	each	other	in	a	restaurant	filled	with	the	media	and	,	at	the	screening	of	the	movie	,	everyone	connected	with	the	film	goes	nuts	,	all	without	any	repercussions	.	lee	certainly	isn't	bothered	by	any	of	the	infantile	outbursts	;	in	fact	,	he	makes	arrangements	for	footage	of	even	more	inappropriate	behavior	to	be	delivered	to	the	tabloids	.	is	the	studio	angry	about	his	handling	of	the	combative	actors	?	hell	no	they	feel	lee	is	a	genius	for	garnering	so	much	publicity	for	the	movie	.	all	of	which	underscores	how	billy	crystal	and	co	writer	peter	tolan	screwed	up	their	own	premise	:	the	comedy	in	"	america's	sweethearts	"	is	based	on	barely	in	control	people	trying	to	contain	themselves	in	the	presence	of	reporters	,	except	that	it	doesn't	matter	because	any	publicity	is	good	publicity	.	and	thus	the	very	set	up	for	the	film	implodes	,	leaving	smoke	and	dust	in	place	of	laughter	.	so	what	about	the	cast	?	julia	roberts	,	at	her	best	playing	the	underdog	,	is	utterly	charming	here	,	although	i	could	have	lived	without	flashbacks	that	exist	solely	as	an	excuse	to	show	her	in	a	fat	suit	(	and	not	a	very	convincing	one	,	by	the	way	)	.	catherine	zeta	jones	makes	a	believable	brat	and	john	cusack	fleshes	out	his	obsessed	character	enough	to	make	him	vaguely	sympathetic	.	by	casting	himself	as	the	publicist	,	billy	crystal	allows	himself	to	do	roughly	the	same	thing	he	does	on	"	comic	relief	"	stay	on	the	sidelines	of	the	action	while	tossing	off	cornball	jokes	and	snarky	remarks	.	in	supporting	roles	,	hank	azaria	wears	out	his	welcome	fast	with	broad	gestures	and	a	spanish	accent	that	speedy	gonzales	would	have	deemed	"	too	broad	.	"	seth	green	is	amusing	as	a	toadie	,	stanley	tucci	is	very	good	as	a	ruthless	studio	head	and	christopher	walken	plays	the	eccentric	director	with	suitable	flair	,	though	he	has	little	to	work	with	.	come	to	think	of	it	,	"	little	to	work	with	"	is	the	operative	phrase	for	this	movie	.	as	a	hollywood	satire	,	"	america's	sweethearts	"	is	toothless	.	as	a	romance	,	it	is	at	best	a	minor	pleasure	.	such	a	good	cast	,	such	a	waste	of	their	efforts	.	had	it	not	been	taken	long	ago	,	a	better	title	for	the	film	would	have	been	"	much	ado	about	nothing	.	"
neg	shining	in	such	classics	as	willy	wonka	and	the	chocolate	factory	and	young	frankenstein	,	gene	wilder	is	easily	a	big	pull	for	renting	a	comedy	movie	.	there's	just	something	different	(	and	funny	)	about	his	voice	,	his	face	,	and	his	physical	humor	.	that's	how	start	the	revolution	without	me	grabbed	me	off	the	comedy	shelf	,	and	i'm	here	to	help	you	through	not	letting	that	happen	to	you	.	philippe	(	wilder	)	and	pierre	(	sutherland	)	are	rich	french	gentlemen	.	they	have	to	make	some	type	of	agreement	on	a	treaty	and	are	traveling	to	france	to	do	just	that	.	when	they	dock	,	they	do	battle	with	a	group	of	homeless	pirates	(	or	something	of	the	sort	)	that	claude	(	wilder	again	)	and	charles	(	sutherland	again	)	are	a	part	of	.	claude	and	philippe	were	separated	at	birth	,	the	same	with	pierre	and	charles	.	so	,	naturally	,	the	two	get	mixed	up	and	are	mistaken	for	the	other	two	.	when	claude	is	taken	to	the	king's	palace	and	asked	by	the	king's	servant	the	kill	the	queen	,	the	two	have	to	escape	and	are	sent	into	a	madcap	run	around	the	house	(	?	)	avoiding	a	maniac	,	a	nymphomaniac	,	(	?	)	and	the	rest	of	the	king's	servants	.	they	somehow	start	a	war	with	the	homeless	pirates	again	that	philippe	and	pierre	are	now	(	unwillingly	)	a	part	of	,	and	they	go	to	battle	.	i	think	that	i	laughed	exactly	twice	in	start	the	revolution	without	me	.	the	film	obviously	has	some	problems	,	the	main	one	being	that	wilder	(	and	the	script	)	go	way	over	the	top	with	the	stupid	quota	on	this	one	.	it	takes	the	fact	that	the	twins	are	mixed	up	as	the	film's	100	minute	joke	.	it	also	doesn't	really	help	seeing	what	donald	sutherland	looked	like	when	he	was	younger	either	.	(	i	actually	do	feel	very	sorry	for	him	.	)	but	the	worst	thing	is	that	the	film	breaks	an	alltime	rule	.	any	film	with	orson	welles	is	either	good	or	funny	.	horribly	broken	here	as	he	appears	for	commentry	before	the	film	and	as	part	of	the	film's	extremely	strange	ending	.	(	that	amazingly	ends	like	some	film	with	hair	gel	and	a	dog	.	)	this	is	a	member	of	the	film's	that	you	could	see	if	you	enjoy	inflicting	pain	on	yourself	club	(	ftycsiyeipoyc	is	what	i	call	it	,	and	i	do	review	so	many	of	them	.	)	so	start	the	revolution	without	me	gets	star	.	the	young	uns	:	the	film	contains	some	sexual	references	and	the	end	has	lots	of	gun	battle	.	also	,	some	young	children	may	be	confused	by	what	is	going	on	.	good	age	:	7	up
neg	i'm	going	to	keep	this	one	fairly	short	,	folks	.	in	fact	,	i'm	not	even	going	to	attempt	a	plot	summary	because	there	isn't	any	plot	in	"	black	and	white	"	.	james	toback	,	previously	responsible	for	releasing	the	atrocious	"	two	girls	and	a	guy	"	on	unsuspecting	audiences	back	in	1997	,	has	created	a	true	piece	of	garbage	here	.	this	is	the	kind	of	movie	that	screams	for	an	nc	17	rating	,	being	filled	with	fairly	explicit	sex	scenes	,	constant	violence	,	and	more	foul	language	than	you	hear	in	any	quentin	tarantino	film	.	the	mpaa	rating	system	is	supposed	to	keep	kids	from	seeing	a	movie	like	this	,	but	the	theater	i	saw	it	in	was	filled	with	young	high	school	students	.	i	know	it's	naive	to	think	that	kids	won't	see	a	movie	like	this	no	matter	what	kind	of	rating	it	has	,	yet	i	can't	help	but	think	an	nc	17	rating	would	have	prevented	at	least	a	few	kids	from	attending	.	first	i'll	try	to	cover	what	i	liked	about	this	movie	,	which	shouldn't	take	too	long	.	there	are	one	or	two	slightly	comical	moments	,	though	i	can't	seem	to	remember	what	they	involved	.	that	about	sums	up	what	i	liked	about	this	movie	.	i	don't	often	award	one	or	five	star	ratings	,	but	i	was	very	tempted	to	give	only	one	to	this	piece	of	filth	.	i	knew	i	was	in	trouble	as	soon	as	the	film	started	with	a	semi	pornographic	scene	involving	two	of	the	main	characters	(	bijou	phillips	,	power	)	and	one	minor	character	in	a	threesome	in	the	middle	of	the	woods	.	i	suppose	the	purpose	of	this	scene	was	to	convey	how	messed	up	these	kids	are	,	but	it	struck	me	as	being	present	only	for	shock	value	.	in	fact	,	there	are	several	sex	scenes	sprinkled	throughout	"	black	and	white	"	which	enhance	the	so	called	story	in	no	way	.	i	will	hand	one	thing	to	toback	,	he	pulled	in	quite	a	cast	.	ben	stiller	,	robert	downey	jr	.	,	brooke	shields	,	claudia	schiffer	,	and	the	great	joe	pantoliano	all	make	appearances	in	this	god	forsaken	movie	.	stiller	(	"	there's	something	about	mary	"	)	plays	a	gambler	(	a	somewhat	autobiographical	decision	by	toback	i	think	)	who	appears	very	few	times	and	never	quite	fits	in	with	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	robert	downey	jr	.	(	the	horrendous	"	two	girls	and	a	guy	"	)	plays	a	gay	man	,	who	i	believe	was	intended	to	be	humorous	but	was	simply	vulgar	instead	.	brooke	shields	(	"	the	blue	lagoon	"	)	and	claudia	schiffer	both	show	up	in	very	minor	roles	,	which	distract	the	audience	rather	than	add	anything	to	the	movie	.	last	,	but	certainly	not	least	,	is	joe	pantoliano	(	"	the	matrix	"	,	"	bound	"	)	,	who	is	completely	wasted	as	a	father	of	two	of	the	young	,	stupid	characters	.	showing	up	in	a	hilariously	pointless	cameo	is	mike	tyson	himself	.	allow	me	to	now	point	out	the	half	dozen	or	so	items	which	make	this	a	horrendous	movie	.	one	,	half	the	dialogue	is	completely	unintelligble	.	the	characters	banter	back	and	forth	,	swearing	every	other	word	and	saying	things	which	no	one	over	the	age	of	fifteen	could	possibly	understand	.	two	,	there	is	no	plot	to	speak	of	.	there	are	a	few	subplots	involving	things	like	sports	gambling	and	coping	with	ones	identity	,	but	none	of	these	side	stories	are	ever	developed	.	three	,	i	think	this	was	supposed	to	be	a	profound	look	at	racism	and	life	in	an	inner	city	,	but	it	succeeds	only	at	insulting	members	of	both	races	.	fourth	,	there	is	no	direction	whatsoever	.	the	movie	jumps	aimlessly	from	person	to	person	and	situation	to	situation	without	any	idea	where	it	is	going	.	lastly	,	the	film's	ending	left	me	with	a	sick	feeling	in	my	stomach	.	i	normally	don't	give	away	plot	points	,	but	the	movie's	ending	seems	to	imply	that	family	can	triumph	over	anything	by	doing	things	like	pulling	together	to	lie	and	cover	up	murders	.	"	black	and	white	"	runs	the	longest	98	minutes	you'll	ever	experience	.	i	recommend	it	to	absolutely	no	one	and	give	it	one	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	only	if	you	have	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	made	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
neg	you	know	you're	in	big	trouble	when	halfway	through	a	movie	you	ask	yourself	,	"	what	would	be	better	?	sitting	through	the	rest	of	this	garbage	or	receiving	a	scratch	to	the	retina	?	"	ultimately	,	the	question	is	moot	,	since	both	are	examples	of	ocular	mayhem	.	the	impulse	as	you	sit	through	dungeons	dragons	is	to	close	your	eyes	,	thereby	shielding	yourself	from	those	atrocious	computer	generated	zooming	up	and	down	gaudily	colored	castles	and	cloud	capped	palaces	.	unfortunately	,	the	sound	design	is	so	brutal	with	those	sharp	rings	as	swords	clash	,	glitter	dust	swirls	,	and	magic	spells	go	whoosh	that	sleep	is	not	a	viable	option	.	consider	just	this	small	aspect	of	the	film	:	why	is	it	that	the	main	characters	are	dressed	like	tolkein's	rangers	but	sound	like	the	real	world	,	some	gaudy	hybrid	of	conan	the	barbarian	and	star	wars	:	episode	i	?	indeed	,	it's	nearly	impossible	to	look	at	the	young	empress	savina	(	thora	birch	,	american	beauty	)	without	thinking	about	natalie	portman's	headdress	.	say	what	you	will	about	the	george	lucas	film	,	portman	did	manage	to	appear	regal	.	birch	,	on	the	other	hand	,	comes	off	as	a	bubble	headed	valley	girl	whose	glib	talk	of	equality	for	everyone	would	fit	comfortably	on	the	stage	of	a	high	school	beauty	contest	.	in	our	opening	tracking	shot	across	the	sea	,	while	dragons	fly	underfoot	,	we	hear	a	ponderous	voice	over	throwing	out	strange	names	and	places	.	we	haven't	been	introduced	to	anyone	yet	,	and	i	defy	the	viewer	to	make	sense	of	it	.	what	we	do	get	is	this	:	the	mages	are	attempting	to	overthrow	the	empire	of	izmer	,	while	the	commoners	struggle	for	equal	rights	.	profion	(	former	academy	award	winner	jeremy	irons	)	seeks	the	scepter	to	control	the	power	of	the	golden	dragons	,	but	we	also	learn	of	an	equally	powerful	rod	which	unites	the	red	dragons	.	are	you	with	me	so	far	?	there's	a	quiz	afterwards	.	it's	around	this	time	that	we	meet	the	two	young	thieves	,	ridley	(	justin	whalin	)	and	his	silly	black	sidekick	,	step	'n'	fetchit	(	marlon	wayans	,	requiem	for	a	dream	)	.	actually	,	the	wayans	character	is	called	snails	,	who	will	sacrifice	anything	,	even	his	life	if	need	be	,	to	save	massah	.	spike	lee	would	have	a	field	day	with	wayans'	bug	eyed	performance	.	of	course	,	wayans	is	bringing	it	on	himself	he's	clearly	set	up	as	the	white	man's	burden	and	is	handled	as	such	.	his	final	scene	nails	the	coffin	shut	on	my	case	.	ridley	and	snails	sneak	into	the	inner	sanctum	of	a	wizard	who	has	some	sort	of	secret	scroll	(	another	prop	)	that	the	bad	guys	are	after	.	as	the	good	guys	set	off	on	their	adventure	,	they	team	up	with	a	young	magician	(	zoe	mclellan	)	who	never	actually	uses	her	magic	she's	too	busy	waiting	for	the	boys	to	rescue	her	.	since	jeremy	irons	only	wants	to	pick	up	his	paycheck	for	this	film	,	he	sends	the	sinister	damodar	(	bruce	payne	)	in	hot	pursuit	.	together	,	the	thieves	,	the	young	magician	,	and	a	few	other	trusty	sidekicks	run	through	a	series	of	hoops	,	with	the	crazy	kids	wandering	through	forests	and	towns	,	thieves'	mazes	,	and	enemy	castles	.	to	keep	things	entertaining	,	they	never	let	up	on	their	sarcastic	repartee	,	slapping	each	other	high	fives	.	meanwhile	,	snails	ponders	the	immortal	question	,	"	massah	,	why	do	you	always	get	to	save	the	girl	while	i	go	after	the	dwarf	?	"	riddle	me	that	,	batman	!	the	sorry	excuse	for	a	plot	builds	up	to	an	elaborate	,	if	incomprehensible	,	dragon	war	.	buildings	are	smashed	,	swords	are	drawn	,	and	the	sky	runs	red	with	blood	(	actually	,	computer	generated	clouds	that	might	have	been	swell	in	tomb	raider	but	won't	be	fooling	anyone	here	)	.	jeremy	irons	gets	to	stand	at	the	top	of	a	tower	cackling	,	contorting	his	face	,	and	,	ultimately	,	destroying	his	career	with	such	aplomb	that	i	wonder	when	he'll	work	in	this	town	again	.	is	there	anything	good	which	can	be	said	about	dungeons	dragons	?	fans	of	the	role	playing	game	will	be	distressed	as	they	see	their	beloved	world	contorted	into	a	travesty	.	those	who	loved	the	saturday	morning	cartoon	will	wonder	why	the	filmmakers	didn't	simply	use	that	cute	,	kid	friendly	story	as	source	material	.	everyone	else	out	there	is	on	their	own	.	just	pretend	this	review	is	a	large	iron	gate	where	,	written	large	,	are	the	words	abandon	hope	,	all	ye	who	enter	here	.	postscript	:	there	is	one	good	thing	i	can	say	about	the	film	,	which	perhaps	will	be	of	little	interest	to	anyone	who	never	saw	the	wonderful	british	sci	fi	show	,	doctor	who	.	my	boyhood	hero	,	tom	baker	,	who	played	the	good	doctor	throughout	the	'70s	,	makes	a	cameo	appearance	in	d	d	as	the	lord	of	the	elves	.	it	made	me	feel	good	to	know	that	he	is	still	getting	work	.
neg	(	warner	brothers	)	running	time	:	134	minutes	(	2	hours	14	minutes	)	starring	dustin	hoffman	,	sharon	stone	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	directed	by	barry	levinson	with	his	successful	books	and	movies	,	michael	crichton	is	doing	well	.	with	early	successes	with	westworld	(	1973	)	and	coma	(	1978	)	,	and	recent	films	such	as	jurassic	park	(	1993	)	,	his	films	have	been	entertaining	.	however	,	he	seems	to	taken	a	wrong	turn	somewhere	with	sphere	.	this	100	million	mess	by	good	director	barry	levison	(	disclosure	)	is	dull	,	long	winded	,	and	a	huge	disappointment	.	considering	the	huge	budget	,	the	all	star	cast	,	and	a	story	by	crichton	,	sphere	is	majorly	disappointing	.	the	film	opens	with	norman	goodman	(	hoffman	)	,	a	psychologist	who	thinks	he	is	visiting	an	airplane	crash	to	console	the	survivors	.	however	,	when	he	arrives	,	he	his	told	by	supervisor	barnes	(	peter	coyote	)	that	he	is	actually	investigating	an	spacecraft	.	along	with	goodman	is	mathematician	harry	adams	(	jackson	)	,	biologist	beth	halperin	(	stone	)	and	ted	fielding	(	liev	schrieber	.	)	they	investigate	the	spaceship	,	find	a	massive	sphere	inside	,	meet	an	alien	intelligence	called	jerry	,	and	basically	weird	crap	happens	.	unfortunately	,	something	went	wrong	along	the	way	with	sphere	.	the	film	starts	off	entertaining	enough	,	but	throughout	this	very	long	movie	,	it	just	gets	sillier	and	sillier	.	the	film	jaunts	along	from	scene	to	scene	,	never	fully	explaining	what	is	going	on	.	the	actors	and	directing	don't	help	,	either	.	hoffman	is	on	autopilot	(	and	almost	seems	embarrassed	)	throughout	the	movie	,	churning	out	dull	lines	,	and	probably	wondering	what	the	hell	he	is	doing	in	this	movie	.	stone	is	useless	,	displaying	no	emotion	,	and	fails	to	convince	the	audience	that	she	has	any	feelings	for	hoffman	.	the	only	person	who	seems	to	be	having	fun	in	this	movie	is	jackson	,	who's	funny	as	the	mathematician	who	slowly	goes	crazy	and	entering	the	sphere	.	but	he's	hardly	in	it	,	and	by	the	end	of	the	film	he	is	just	as	dull	as	hoffman	and	stone	.	the	same	goes	for	peter	coyote	,	who	hams	it	up	as	the	officer	,	but	is	then	killed	off	halfway	through	.	the	director	,	barry	levinson	,	who	directed	the	better	crichton	adaptation	disclosure	(	1994	)	messes	up	with	the	drama	and	the	action	.	the	drama	scenes	are	,	quite	frankly	,	boring	,	and	the	action	scenes	suffer	from	overkill	,	with	levison	throwing	the	camera	all	over	the	place	(	much	like	the	godawful	speed	2	,	1997	)	the	writing	doesn't	help	much	,	either	.	although	crichton	is	great	with	plots	,	he's	terrible	with	dialogue	,	and	practically	every	line	in	sphere	is	a	dud	.	the	speech	is	too	simple	,	i	was	hoping	it	would	be	a	bit	more	intelligent	.	practically	every	line	is	just	stating	the	obvious	.	none	of	it	is	smart	.	also	,	where	the	hell	did	the	budget	go	?	the	sphere	itself	is	impressive	,	and	there's	a	few	nice	special	effect	shots	,	but	where	the	100	million	went	is	anyone's	guess	.	there's	a	giant	squid	attack	in	the	picture	,	but	not	once	does	the	audience	see	the	squid	,	even	though	the	film	has	a	massive	budget	.	i	assume	the	picture	was	trying	to	build	up	tension	by	not	showing	the	squid	,	and	if	handled	correctly	it	probably	would	.	but	the	whole	scene	is	done	badly	,	and	i	was	just	hoping	we	could	see	the	stupid	squid	.	finally	,	the	film	has	no	idea	what	genre	to	be	.	levison	can't	handle	his	own	plot	.	it	leaps	from	hokey	sci	fi	,	to	horror	,	and	finally	the	shining	event	horizon	psychological	thriller	.	and	,	of	course	,	the	film	is	very	much	like	the	abyss	(	1988	)	,	although	in	it's	defense	,	crichton	did	write	sphere	before	the	abyss	was	released	(	and	is	far	superior	to	this	rubbish	.	)	it's	not	all	that	bad	though	.	the	plot	is	all	right	,	there's	a	few	jump	scenes	(	although	nothing	very	scary	)	and	there's	the	occasionally	interesting	bit	.	but	overall	,	sphere	is	a	big	waste	of	some	fine	talent	,	a	lot	of	money	,	and	a	potentially	good	movie	.	not	really	worth	seeing	.	overall	rating	out	of	review	by	david	wilcock
neg	millennium	starts	with	an	incredibly	fake	model	of	a	boeing	747	skipping	the	tops	of	clouds	,	bumping	all	over	the	place	.	we	go	to	the	cockpit	,	where	the	crew	is	drawling	atc	clearances	,	and	the	captain	,	for	some	reason	,	so	senile	that	he's	taking	orders	from	his	first	officer	.	inexplicably	,	the	airplane	has	a	mid	air	with	a	dc	10	.	on	the	way	down	,	the	flight	engineer's	sent	to	the	back	.	he	returns	as	promptly	,	shouting	"	the	passengers	are	all	dead	!	"	and	thus	is	the	crux	of	the	story	.	kris	kristofferson	plays	the	chief	investigator	for	the	national	transportation	safety	board	(	ntsb	)	.	you	know	he	knows	his	stuff	:	he	looks	unkempt	,	walks	like	he	has	more	aches	and	pains	than	james	gardner	,	and	growls	out	the	smallest	line	.	when	he	smiles	,	it	looks	like	his	face	is	going	to	collapse	from	the	effort	.	clearly	an	expert	.	as	he	investigates	the	crash	,	he	discovers	various	oddities	:	watches	that	run	backwards	,	for	example	.	and	a	"	thing	"	that	manages	to	stun	him	.	spoilers	are	at	the	end	of	this	article	.	the	above	makes	the	plot	sound	pretty	interesting	,	right	?	wrong	.	this	is	a	horrible	movie	.	the	pits	.	pure	,	un	pretentious	,	regurgitated	crap	.	the	acting	sucks	.	the	direction	sucks	.	the	production	values	are	non	existent	.	the	special	effects	are	laughable	.	the	dialog	is	lousy	,	fake	,	and	contrived	.	technically	,	the	producers	clearly	haven't	the	foggiest	idea	of	how	the	ntsb	works	(	kristofferson	to	press	conference	:	"	we'll	have	our	findings	for	you	in	a	couple	of	days	,	just	hold	your	questions	"	)	.	the	thing	which	eventually	gets	kristofferson	in	hot	water	with	his	bosses	in	washington	is	sop	for	the	"	real	"	ntsb	.	cheryl	ladd	looks	like	a	high	school	girl	who's	just	discovered	makeup	.	suffice	it	to	say	that	this	movie	isn't	worth	seeing	.	five	minutes	into	it	,	i	seriously	debated	running	out	and	negotiating	a	ticket	swap	with	"	the	package	.	"	this	movie	is	pure	trash	.	a	zero	rating	(	out	of	four	)	.	an	utterly	forgettable	movie	,	one	which	i	am	embarrassed	to	even	admit	having	spent	the	time	watching	.	but	even	worse	,	since	about	a	quarter	of	the	movie	is	run	twice	,	in	the	form	of	an	alternative	future	flashback	.	so	we	get	to	see	the	same	,	horrible	acting	and	implausible	situations	for	1	2	the	running	time	of	the	movie	.	in	other	words	,	yes	,	folks	,	we	finally	have	an	sf	flick	this	summer	that's	worse	(	much	much	worse	)	than	star	trek	v	(	makes	stv	look	like	academy	award	material	,	folks	)	.
neg	my	inner	flag	was	at	half	mast	last	year	when	nick	at	nite	pulled	"	dragnet	"	reruns	off	the	air	.	sure	,	i'd	seen	them	all	at	least	once	,	but	i	could	always	count	on	at	least	a	few	inadvertent	laughs	from	ultra	serious	jack	webb	when	there	was	nothing	else	on	tv	.	even	though	"	dragnet	"	is	out	of	circulation	at	the	moment	,	we	webb	anti	fans	still	have	the	d	.	i	.	,	a	50's	propaganda	piece	for	the	military	that	is	almost	as	hilarious	as	the	famous	"	blue	boy	"	episode	of	"	dragnet	.	"	for	anyone	like	me	who	got	laughs	out	of	webb's	rapid	fire	speeches	and	straight	faced	seriousness	,	think	of	the	d	.	i	.	as	what	would	happen	if	sgt	.	joe	friday	ever	enlisted	,	because	he	plays	exactly	the	same	character	here	,	a	no	nonsense	old	fart	who	looks	with	disdain	at	the	younger	generation	and	loves	to	give	long	winded	,	melodramatic	speeches	on	any	topic	.	in	this	election	year	,	i'm	more	convinced	than	ever	that	webb	and	bob	dole	were	separated	at	birth	.	the	movie	opens	in	characteristic	fashion	as	one	recruit	after	another	knocks	on	webb's	office	door	and	enters	.	he	gives	each	one	a	different	series	of	cranky	criticisms	before	the	credits	come	up	.	the	"	produced	and	directed	by	jack	webb	"	card	pretty	much	goes	without	saying	.	this	is	his	movie	all	the	way	,	and	after	the	first	twenty	minutes	of	him	chewing	out	his	recruits	for	no	reason	,	i	was	wondering	if	there	would	even	be	a	plot	.	i	certainly	would	have	been	entertained	by	an	hour	and	a	half	of	trademark	webb	rants	,	but	the	d	.	i	.	gives	us	more	much	more	.	webb's	mission	is	to	make	a	man	out	of	private	owens	,	the	local	screw	up	.	the	captain	gives	webb	three	days	to	convert	owens	into	marine	material	or	,	the	captain	will	"	personally	cut	the	lace	off	his	panties	and	ship	him	out	myself	.	"	(	whether	the	"	lace	panties	"	part	refers	to	webb	or	owens	remains	unanswered	.	)	this	,	of	course	,	gives	webb	an	excuse	to	focus	all	his	crotchety	energy	on	making	owens'	life	a	living	hell	.	for	those	of	you	who	haven't	been	indoctrinated	into	the	pleasures	of	webb	watching	,	here's	a	reprint	of	a	typical	monologue	of	his	.	i	can't	duplicate	his	hilarious	delivery	on	paper	,	but	the	words	should	at	least	partially	convey	what	i'm	talking	about	.	.	.	"	now	you	listen	to	me	,	youngster	.	someday	you'll	wake	up	fighting	on	a	beach	and	you'll	pray	to	god	somebody	doesn't	get	killed	because	of	your	foolishness	.	.	.	i've	got	a	headline	for	you	:	every	time	you	make	one	of	those	little	mistakes	of	yours	,	you're	gonna	turn	around	and	i'll	be	standing	right	there	.	"	i	couldn't	write	down	all	the	reprintable	dialogue	from	the	d	.	i	.	(	nearly	all	of	it	belongs	in	the	bad	movie	hall	of	fame	)	,	but	i	tried	to	include	some	of	the	more	noteworthy	lines	,	like	one	from	the	scene	where	webb	unwinds	from	a	hard	day's	work	by	going	to	the	local	bar	(	where	he	orders	a	tomato	juice	)	.	he	meets	a	woman	who	,	coincidentally	,	also	orders	tomato	juice	but	walks	away	from	a	typically	stimulating	conversation	with	webb	to	flirt	with	his	arch	rival	,	another	marine	d	.	i	.	webb	marches	over	to	the	table	,	gets	up	in	her	face	and	says	,	"	just	what	kind	of	a	dame	do	you	think	you	are	?	"	bogart	he	ain't	.	the	other	d	.	i	.	gets	one	of	the	few	memorable	non	webb	lines	when	he	confesses	to	the	girl	,	"	he's	a	damn	good	d	.	i	.	.	.	.	i	guess	i'm	just	a	little	jealous	.	"	join	the	club	,	we're	all	jealous	of	jack	webb's	way	with	women	,	which	is	showcased	even	more	amusingly	in	a	later	scene	,	as	webb	finds	his	way	to	the	woman's	place	of	employment	,	a	lingerie	store	,	and	stands	around	looking	incredibly	flustered	at	the	negligees	on	display	.	"	you	expect	me	to	talk	to	you	.	.	.	in	_	here	_	?	!	"	he	exclaims	,	no	doubt	intimidated	by	the	barrage	of	bras	.	the	woman	goes	off	to	help	a	customer	,	leaving	webb	to	fend	for	himself	once	again	in	this	palace	of	estrogen	.	a	little	girl	spots	him	in	the	store	and	demands	,	"	what	are	you	doing	in	here	.	.	.	you're	a	man	,	aren't	you	?	"	he	doesn't	reply	,	but	you	know	he's	thinking	in	his	head	,	"	what	an	odd	species	of	human	so	small	.	must	be	one	of	those	children	everyone's	been	talking	about	.	"	this	poor	girl	,	scarred	for	life	by	her	early	encounter	with	jack	webb	,	would	later	swear	off	the	male	gender	entirely	,	just	one	of	the	many	lesbian	conversions	he's	responsible	for	.	the	movie	doesn't	focus	too	closely	on	webb's	romance	,	it	also	continues	the	owens	subplot	with	probably	the	most	memorable	scene	in	the	entire	movie	,	where	webb	forces	his	platoon	to	spend	the	entire	night	searching	the	ground	for	a	flea	owens	killed	during	one	of	their	drills	.	after	two	privates	hatch	a	scheme	to	present	webb	with	the	wrong	dead	flea	,	webb	asks	owens	,	"	was	that	flea	you	killed	a	male	or	female	?	"	owens	replies	,	"	a	male	,	sir	.	"	webb	yells	to	the	platoon	,	"	this	ain't	the	one	!	"	that	such	a	scene	(	along	with	the	rest	of	the	movie	)	was	intended	to	be	taken	seriously	defies	comment	.	but	we	know	it	was	all	presented	with	the	utmost	seriousness	when	a	title	card	at	the	end	thanks	the	marines	not	only	for	their	cooperation	in	the	making	of	the	d	.	i	.	,	but	for	iwo	jima	,	guadalcanal	and	every	other	major	battle	of	the	first	half	of	the	20th	century	.	webb	held	the	military	in	such	high	esteem	that	all	the	soldiers	in	the	movie	(	with	the	exception	of	owens	)	were	played	by	actual	marines	.	someone	wanting	to	parody	this	movie	couldn't	do	a	more	comical	job	than	webb	did	.	it	makes	it	all	the	more	ironic	(	like	raeeyain	on	your	wedding	day	)	that	the	man	had	no	sense	of	humor	himself	.	there's	a	scene	in	the	movie	where	the	guys	are	on	their	break	time	discussing	something	and	one	of	them	breaks	into	laughter	.	webb	bursts	in	the	room	and	shouts	,	"	what	did	i	tell	you	about	laughing	?	!	"	to	which	the	private	replies	,	"	sir	,	only	nine	year	old	girls	laugh	,	sir	!	"	and	let	me	tell	you	,	i	was	as	happy	as	a	nine	year	old	girl	while	watching	this	movie	.
neg	sydney	lumet	is	the	director	whose	work	happens	to	be	of	varied	quality	.	he	is	praised	for	some	of	the	most	important	films	of	the	previous	decades	,	like	twelve	angry	men	,	serpico	or	the	verdict	.	but	,	in	the	same	time	,	almost	any	of	such	pearls	is	followed	by	stinkers	that	hamper	lumet's	reputation	.	a	stranger	among	us	,	1992	rip	off	of	peter	weir's	witness	,	belongs	to	the	latter	category	.	the	heroine	of	this	movie	is	emily	eden	(	melanie	griffith	)	,	tough	lady	cop	who	sometimes	shows	too	much	enthusiasm	in	battling	bad	guys	on	the	streets	of	new	york	.	during	one	of	such	actions	,	her	partner	nick	(	jamey	sheridan	)	got	hurt	and	as	a	result	,	she	becomes	depressed	.	in	order	to	help	her	recover	,	bosses	give	her	rather	easy	task	of	locating	missing	jeweller	who	belonged	to	hassidic	jew	community	.	emily	starts	investigation	and	soon	realises	that	the	case	involves	murder	.	concluding	that	the	perpetrator	belongs	to	community	,	she	decides	to	go	undercover	.	that	isn't	easy	,	because	her	modern	manners	are	colliding	with	traditionalist	ways	.	things	get	even	more	complicated	when	she	develops	feelings	for	young	cabalistic	scholar	ariel	(	eric	thal	)	.	using	peter	weir's	formula	isn't	the	greatest	flaw	of	this	film	.	even	the	lame	and	unispiring	crime	mystery	subplot	works	to	the	certain	extent	.	but	the	worst	insult	to	viewer's	audience	is	terrible	miscasting	of	melanie	griffith	.	the	author	of	this	review	never	liked	this	actress	very	much	,	but	she	was	at	least	tolerable	in	some	of	her	roles	.	role	of	emily	eden	,	unfortunately	,	isn't	one	of	them	.	first	of	all	,	she	can't	pass	for	tough	nypd	street	fighter	,	and	her	attempt	to	pass	for	orthodox	jewish	woman	isn't	much	better	.	screenplay	by	robert	j	.	avrech	makes	things	even	worse	with	some	formulaic	red	herring	subplots	(	scene	involving	two	italian	gangsters	was	almost	too	painful	to	watch	)	.	but	,	on	the	other	hand	,	other	actors	are	more	convincing	(	lee	richardson	as	an	old	rabbi	,	thal	as	ariel	and	charming	mia	sara	as	his	intended	bride	)	,	and	the	photography	by	andrzej	bartkowiak	very	effectively	creates	atmosphere	of	warmth	when	the	scenes	take	place	in	hassidic	community	.	also	,	the	film	might	educate	viewers	about	hassidic	culture	.	that	is	the	only	thing	that	prevents	it	from	turning	into	total	waste	of	time	.
neg	that's	exactly	how	long	the	movie	felt	to	me	.	there	weren't	even	nine	laughs	in	nine	months	.	it's	a	terrible	mess	of	a	movie	starring	a	terrible	mess	of	a	man	,	mr	.	hugh	grant	,	a	huge	dork	.	it's	not	the	whole	oral	sex	prostitution	thing	(	referring	to	grant	,	not	me	)	that	bugs	me	,	it's	the	fact	that	grant	is	annoying	.	not	just	adam	sandler	annoying	,	we're	talking	jim	carrey	annoying	.	since	when	do	eye	flutters	and	nervous	smiles	pass	for	acting	?	but	,	on	the	other	hand	,	since	when	do	really	bad	slapstick	(	a	fistfight	in	the	delivery	room	culminating	in	grant's	head	in	joan	cusack's	lap	a	scene	he	paid	60	to	have	included	in	the	movie	)	and	obscene	double	entendres	(	robin	williams	,	the	obstetrician	,	tells	grant's	pregnant	girlfriend	she	has	"	a	big	pussy	,	"	referring	of	course	to	the	size	of	the	cat	hairs	on	her	coat	,	but	nonetheless	,	grant	paid	60	to	have	the	exchange	included	in	the	movie	)	pass	for	comedy	?	nine	months	is	a	predictable	cookie	cutter	movie	with	no	originality	in	humor	or	plot	.	hugh	grant	plays	a	successful	child	psychiatrist	.	why	a	child	psychologist	?	so	the	scriptwriters	could	inject	the	following	unfunny	exchange	:
neg	i	admit	it	.	i	thought	arnold	schwarzenegger	had	a	knack	for	comedy	when	he	made	twins	and	true	lies	.	watching	him	in	jingle	all	the	way	,	i	wondered	why	anyone	ever	thought	he	could	carry	such	a	lame	movie	targeted	at	susceptible	kids	.	it	was	one	thing	to	scare	the	crap	out	of	kids	with	the	pg	13	kindergarten	cop	,	but	parents	who	let	small	children	see	this	movie	will	have	to	explain	themes	of	violence	,	alcohol	consumption	,	burglary	,	racism	and	child	molestation	.	and	you	know	they'll	burst	out	in	tears	when	arnold	punches	one	of	santa's	elves	.	he	later	decks	a	reindeer	.	hey	,	man	,	why	don't	you	just	kick	the	easter	bunny	in	the	nuts	while	you're	at	it	?	jingle	all	the	way	is	formula	crap	that	follows	the	if	someone	falls	on	his	ass	,	it	must	be	funny	school	of	thought	.	arnold	,	sinbad	and	phil	hartman	crash	to	the	ground	more	times	in	this	movie	than	a	special	olympics	hockey	team	,	and	the	movie	dredges	up	more	cliche	and	less	believability	with	each	successive	scene	.	what	can	you	expect	from	a	movie	whose	entire	premise	is	that	two	parents	can't	find	a	rare	toy	on	christmas	eve	,	and	will	do	anything	to	get	one	?	arnold	is	,	of	course	,	one	of	the	parents	,	a	crack	salesman	who	is	never	there	for	his	son	.	he	races	from	the	office	to	his	son's	karate	game	,	only	to	find	out	he	missed	it	.	and	his	kid	distrusts	him	because	he's	never	around	.	(	gee	,	we	haven't	seen	that	in	a	movie	before	.	)	arnold	the	absentee	father	becomes	convinced	that	the	only	way	to	buy	back	his	son's	affection	is	to	get	him	a	turboman	doll	,	which	his	wife	(	rita	wilson	,	who	will	never	be	the	breadwinner	of	the	hanks	household	choosing	roles	like	this	)	told	him	to	get	weeks	ago	.	so	arnold	sets	out	to	find	a	turboman	,	which	turns	out	to	be	more	rare	than	the	tickle	me	elmo	was	when	jingle	all	the	way	came	out	.	let	me	back	up	for	a	minute	here	arnold's	kid	is	totally	obsessed	with	this	turboman	character	,	which	is	unhealthy	beyond	belief	.	watches	the	show	,	eats	the	cereal	,	sleeps	on	the	freakin'	turboman	sheets	.	i'd	try	to	discourage	any	further	obsession	myself	,	lest	any	kid	seeing	this	movie	think	it's	a	wonderful	thing	to	con	your	dad	into	racing	out	to	buy	you	any	toy	you	want	.	but	nooooo	,	the	climax	of	jingle	all	the	way	has	arnold	dressed	up	as	turboman	in	a	parade	,	exonerating	himself	of	all	wrongdoing	in	the	eyes	of	wife	and	son	,	who	don't	recognize	him	until	the	last	minute	.	this	is	a	sad	movie	all	the	way	through	,	but	it	only	gets	worse	after	the	opening	scenes	of	arnold	and	mailman	sinbad	stampeding	through	a	store	,	racing	off	to	the	mall	and	hooking	up	with	a	santa	(	jim	belushi	)	who	runs	a	bootleg	toy	factory	.	most	painful	to	watch	is	a	scene	at	a	radio	station	,	where	sinbad	holds	off	the	cops	with	a	letter	bomb	after	beating	up	the	deejay	(	an	embarrassed	martin	mull	)	who	said	he	was	giving	away	a	turboman	doll	.	capitalism	has	produced	some	pretty	evil	things	(	chia	pets	)	,	but	this	ode	to	excess	and	violent	consumerism	is	one	of	the	most	shameful	.	never	mind	the	subplot	with	perfect	neighbor	phil	hartman	trying	to	seduce	wilson	while	arnold	is	off	shopping	(	"	your	cookies	are	incredible	"	)	,	it's	the	main	plot	of	the	movie	that	sends	the	message	that	it's	okay	to	do	whatever	it	takes	to	get	your	hands	on	what	you	want	.	maybe	that's	what	christmas	is	like	at	the	schwarzenegger	house	,	but	not	at	mine	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
neg	cast	ben	affleck	,	gary	sinise	,	charlize	theron	,	dennis	farina	,	james	frain	,	donal	logue	,	danny	trejo	,	clarence	williams	iii	,	issac	hayes	.	directed	by	john	frankenheimer	written	by	ehren	kruger	produced	by	marty	katz	,	chris	moore	,	bob	weinstein	(	rating	)	motion	picture	association	of	america	r	(	restricted	)	,	rated	r	for	strong	violence	,	language	and	sexuality	.	running	length	105	minutes	distributor	dimension	films	if	this	person	were	alive	today	,	the	inventor	of	the	gun	might	be	troubled	by	the	lack	of	use	of	them	at	the	proper	time	in	'reindeer	games'	.	while	there	really	are	no	good	guys	in	this	film	,	how	many	times	have	we	seen	the	hollywood	cliche	of	the	villains	holding	someone	at	gun	point	while	the	audience	is	frustrated	that	the	silly	and	simple	action	of	pulling	the	trigger	doesn't	come	at	the	right	time	.	even	when	we	don't	want	to	see	someone	get	shot	in	the	picture	because	he	or	she	is	the	hero	,	it	still	smacks	of	a	lack	of	credibility	.	the	only	time	i	found	this	acceptable	was	in	the	old	'batman'	t	.	v	.	series	,	where	the	villains	wouldn't	or	couldn't	shoot	straight	and	the	dynamic	duo	was	always	put	into	some	kind	of	campy	trap	from	which	they	always	managed	to	escaped	.	to	roughly	quote	1976's	'network'	,	"	no	matter	how	much	trouble	the	hero	is	in	,	just	look	at	your	watch	and	you'll	know	when	all	will	be	resolved	"	.	by	rights	,	ben	affleck	should	have	died	about	five	times	throughout	the	course	of	'reindeer	games'	and	while	i'm	not	giving	away	the	fact	as	to	whether	he	lives	or	dies	in	the	film	,	the	keyword	for	this	film	is	"	duh	"	!	affleck	plays	rudy	,	a	convict	on	the	verge	of	release	where	,	when	released	,	he	will	meet	with	a	young	woman	who	will	help	him	get	his	life	back	on	track	,	supposedly	.	he's	never	met	her	and	she's	never	met	him	.	they	met	through	letters	written	.	but	wait	!	this	is	only	a	smoke	screen	.	rudy	passes	himself	off	as	his	cell	mate	,	a	man	who	was	killed	in	a	prison	riot	who	was	supposed	to	meet	this	woman	.	while	finding	the	company	of	women	irresistible	after	getting	released	,	rudy	gets	more	than	he	bargained	for	when	his	new	main	squeeze	ashley	(	charlize	theron	)	,	has	a	supposed	brother	named	gabriel	(	gary	sinise	)	who	wants	rudy	to	help	him	knock	over	a	casino	.	it	seems	that	rudy's	cell	mate	wrote	ashley	that	he	used	to	work	at	this	casino	,	run	on	a	native	american	reservation	in	michigan	,	near	detroit	,	and	gabriel	,	thinking	this	is	him	,	wants	instructions	on	the	casino's	construction	,	pattern	of	security	and	other	tidbits	of	information	that	will	make	the	casino	heist	successful	.	of	course	,	rudy	can	only	bluff	his	way	through	the	scam	since	he	isn't	the	right	or	real	person	intended	for	this	crime	.	the	film	is	so	full	of	plot	holes	,	you	could	drive	a	transport	truck	through	its	openings	and	believe	me	,	they	try	this	also	!	at	one	point	rudy	tries	to	explain	that	he	isn't	the	right	man	and	a	hand	written	letter	is	produced	by	gabriel	so	to	establish	if	this	is	really	the	right	guy	,	why	didn't	they	just	take	a	sample	of	rudy's	hand	writing	to	see	if	it's	the	same	guy	.	rudy	also	has	several	chances	to	contact	the	police	but	we	see	that	admitting	to	the	police	that	he	is	being	held	by	criminals	would	be	a	violation	of	his	parole	,	therefore	landing	him	back	in	the	slammer	.	even	if	this	is	beyond	his	control	?	several	confrontations	between	the	characters	are	also	laughable	and	the	film	is	full	of	smug	humour	and	novice	plot	twists	that	don't	seem	exciting	,	plausible	or	even	remotely	entertaining	and	something	is	also	wrong	when	the	leading	man	can't	get	any	support	from	the	audience	.	director	john	frankenheimer	(	'the	manchurian	candidate'	,	'birdman	of	alcatraz'	'grand	prix'	,	'black	sunday'	and	more	recently	'ronin'	,	directs	this	film	with	his	usual	look	of	perplexity	.	the	trouble	is	,	that	while	crafting	his	vision	for	this	film	,	he	overlooked	the	flaws	in	the	screenplay	by	ehren	kruger	who	wrote	1999's	'arlington	road'	,	a	crackling	thriller	about	terrorism	and	'reindeer	games'	doesn't	even	look	like	it's	written	by	the	same	guy	.	perhaps	the	desire	to	be	completely	different	threw	kruger	off	course	and	he	faltered	badly	with	this	film	.	several	other	mishaps	that	make	the	film	somewhat	aloof	involve	rudy	trying	to	make	an	escape	from	the	casino	and	getting	caught	in	the	wilderness	.	we	see	that	he	has	a	knack	for	hot	wiring	cars	.	there	are	plenty	around	in	this	scene	.	why	not	just	hi	jack	one	and	make	a	run	for	it	.	oh	,	the	irony	of	it	.	geeeeeesh	!	characters	played	by	dennis	farina	,	james	frain	,	donal	logue	,	danny	trejo	,	clarence	williams	iii	,	and	issac	hayes	are	given	no	real	focus	and	some	of	them	have	major	time	on	screen	and	this	is	only	an	added	and	unwanted	annoyance	.	john	frankenheimer	has	tried	his	hand	at	hack	second	rate	pictures	before	such	as	'52	pick	up'	,	'the	holcroft	covenant'	and	'year	of	the	gun'	and	had	little	or	no	success	with	them	.	he	is	a	director	capable	of	so	much	more	but	falls	into	the	rut	of	making	movies	like	'reindeer	games'	and	for	a	man	whose	been	in	the	business	for	50	years	,	you'd	think	he'd	know	better	.	it	isn't	evident	here	.	perhaps	a	better	name	for	this	film	would	have	been	'silly	games'	.
neg	1	2	(	out	of	4	)	directed	by	greg	arraki	starring	james	duval	,	rachel	true	,	kathleen	robertson	,	ryan	phillippe	,	sarah	lassez	,	christina	applegate	gregg	araki's	the	doom	generation	was	possibly	the	very	worst	film	ever	made	.	so	why	did	i	see	his	latest	teen	bisexual	angst	opus	?	first	of	all	,	some	of	the	reviews	were	fairly	positive	.	also	,	the	cast	,	consisting	of	cameos	from	dozens	of	washed	up	ex	tv	stars	(	including	christopher	knight	,	eve	plumb	,	shannen	doherty	,	and	david	leisure	)	was	promising	.	last	of	all	,	i	wanted	to	give	arraki	one	more	chance	.	i	mean	,	the	guy	can't	be	that	untalented	,	can	he	?	the	answer	to	that	question	is	three	letters	long	.	nowhere	follows	the	character	dark	on	his	wild	and	odd	journey	through	los	angeles	.	since	arraki	doesn't	know	how	to	make	anything	coherent	,	it's	hard	to	describe	the	plot	.	let's	just	say	that	dark	spends	the	bulk	of	the	movie	whining	that	his	girlfriend	won't	make	a	commitment	to	him	and	jealous	because	she	sleeps	around	with	other	guys	and	girls	.	the	only	remotely	compelling	storyline	involves	sarah	lassez	as	a	teen	who	has	a	chance	encounter	with	a	famous	tv	star	.	he	turns	out	to	be	a	nice	guy	who	doesn't	care	for	fame	and	wishes	he	could	walk	down	the	street	without	being	mobbed	by	fans	.	this	story	has	a	shocking	twist	and	a	tragic	end	that	i	did	not	see	coming	.	it	is	the	first	time	i	ever	felt	any	compassion	for	a	character	created	by	arraki	,	and	this	can	be	attributed	to	the	appealing	performance	of	lassez	.	i	thought	maybe	arraki	was	improving	in	his	craft	.	he	works	better	with	the	camera	this	time	around	,	especially	in	the	early	scenes	.	halfway	through	the	film	,	i	didn't	necessarily	find	myself	enjoying	the	film	,	but	it	seemed	like	a	considerable	improvement	on	the	doom	generation	.	then	as	the	movie	went	on	,	arraki	loses	all	sensibility	and	introduces	us	to	exploding	heads	,	twisted	sex	games	,	and	alien	abductions	.	it's	sad	,	because	he	almost	actually	had	some	decent	material	here	,	but	he	ruined	it	with	his	usual	in	your	face	"	i'm	such	a	renegade	maverick	filmmaker	,	look	what	i	can	do	"	attitude	.	the	performances	are	generally	better	than	in	the	doom	generation	,	which	isn't	saying	much	.	at	least	we	don't	have	to	suffer	jonathan	"	i	am	the	most	hideous	man	in	america	"	schaech	.	we	are	,	however	treated	to	another	round	of	james	"	i'm	more	wooden	than	keanu	"	duval	.	sarah	lassez	gives	the	best	performance	in	the	film	,	and	kathleen	robertson	(	formerly	of	90210	and	now	arraki's	wife	)	and	rachel	true	are	talented	actresses	caught	up	in	this	mess	.	of	the	tv	star	cameos	,	john	ritter	is	the	most	interesting	as	a	deranged	right	wing	tv	evangelist	.	if	i	prefer	nowhere	to	the	doom	generation	,	it	is	only	in	the	way	that	i	would	prefer	being	assassinated	than	receive	constant	physical	torture	.	maybe	greg	arraki	doesn't	want	you	to	like	his	characters	.	maybe	he	wants	to	laugh	and	make	fun	of	those	of	us	who	try	to	care	about	them	.	maybe	he	just	wanted	to	piss	me	off	.	if	so	,	he	was	successful	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	based	on	the	1960s	tv	series	that	i	had	never	seen	or	heard	of	before	this	movie	(	be	happy	,	i	won't	bore	you	with	any	lame	and	unnecessary	comparisons	)	,	this	film	allows	will	smith	to	take	a	third	stab	at	the	independence	day	weekend	box	office	,	after	scoring	huge	successes	with	men	in	black	(	7	10	)	,	directed	by	the	same	man	who	controlled	this	one	,	and	independence	day	(	6	10	)	.	can	you	say	.	.	.	the	third	times	not	a	charm	?	plot	:	james	west	and	artemus	gordon	are	chosen	by	the	president	to	find	the	man	responsible	for	the	kidnapping	of	the	nation's	top	scientists	,	and	threatening	to	take	over	the	united	states	within	a	week	.	critique	:	i	did	not	laugh	once	during	this	entire	picture	.	when	you	consider	that	this	film	is	a	part	comedy	,	that's	not	a	very	good	sign	.	i	also	did	not	tense	up	or	particularly	enjoy	any	of	its	unenergetic	action	sequences	which	provided	me	with	little	more	than	a	few	minutes	time	to	think	back	to	the	lovely	salma	hayek	scenes	.	when	you	consider	that	the	other	"	part	"	of	this	film	is	geared	as	an	action	adventure	,	i	would	say	that	this	another	negative	sign	.	and	when	you	consider	that	the	first	hour	of	the	film	was	boring	and	a	little	slow	,	the	story	line	tired	,	reminiscent	of	swiss	cheese	and	uninvolving	,	and	the	special	effects	interesting	but	worth	very	little	inside	a	plot	filled	with	lame	one	liners	,	weak	characterizations	and	an	anti	climactic	end	,	you	pretty	much	have	the	gist	of	my	impression	of	this	"	big	"	summer	blockbuster	.	it	blows	.	or	as	they	say	in	french	,	"	eet	blows	"	.	could	it	be	that	the	script	was	crappy	because	it	took	four	people	to	write	it	?	maybe	.	could	it	be	that	most	of	the	special	effects	don't	show	up	until	the	last	half	hour	,	and	even	then	,	we	don't	see	anything	that	its	trailers	hadn't	already	given	away	?	perhaps	.	or	could	it	be	that	we	have	come	to	expect	so	much	more	from	will	smith	and	hollywood	big	budget	movies	,	that	we	cannot	help	but	evaluate	them	on	a	scale	onto	their	own	?	naaaaaaah	!	a	bad	movie	is	a	bad	movie	.	on	a	positive	note	,	i	could	honestly	say	that	i	did	very	much	enjoy	the	lovely	performance	by	the	adorable	salma	hayek	,	who	seemed	underused	(	in	my	humble	opinion	)	,	and	lit	up	every	bubbly	scene	that	she	was	hardly	in	.	branagh	was	also	fun	as	the	scenery	munching	,	over	the	top	bad	guy	,	but	that's	pretty	much	where	the	entertainment	buck	stopped	.	smith	and	kline	were	static	at	best	,	the	plot	full	of	holes	,	and	the	score	insignificant	and	derivative	of	a	dozen	others	.	i	would	strongly	advise	anyone	not	to	see	this	movie	.	then	again	,	there	is	that	one	scene	with	the	lovely	salma	hayek	tied	up	in	a	cage	.	.	.	huh	.	.	.	oh	yeah	,	but	the	rest	of	the	movie	sucked	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	will	smith	has	starred	in	two	of	the	ten	all	time	top	grossing	films	worldwide	:	1997's	summer	blockbuster	men	in	black	(	7	10	)	,	for	which	he	also	recorded	the	grammy	winning	title	song	,	and	1996's	independence	day	(	6	10	)	.	he	once	turned	down	a	scholarship	to	mit	to	pursue	his	singing	career	.	kevin	kline	is	a	graduate	of	the	juilliard	school	of	drama	,	and	has	been	married	to	the	cute	as	a	button	actress	phoebe	cates	since	1989	.	they	have	two	kids	together	,	greta	simone	and	owen	.	one	of	the	buildings	that	gets	blown	up	in	this	film	has	"	kasdan	"	written	on	it	.	lawrence	kasdan	is	a	director	known	to	have	worked	with	kevin	on	five	of	his	movies	,	including	the	big	chill	,	silverado	,	i	love	you	to	death	,	grand	canyon	and	french	kiss	.	salma	hayek	gave	up	a	successful	career	as	a	major	television	star	in	latin	america	and	moved	to	the	united	states	to	start	over	,	even	though	she	spoke	no	english	.	she	made	her	feature	film	debut	as	an	actress	with	a	small	role	in	allison	anders'	mi	vida	loca	(	no	,	not	the	rickie	martin	video	!	)	and	played	her	first	starring	role	in	robert	rodriguez's	desperado	opposite	antonio	banderas	.	since	then	,	she	has	made	an	appearance	in	each	one	of	rodriguez's	films	.	she	stands	5'2	"	,	was	born	in	southeast	mexico	,	and	the	daughter	of	a	lebanese	father	and	a	mexican	mother	.	one	of	the	actresses	cast	as	branagh's	lovely	but	lethal	beauties	includes	bail	ling	,	a	stage	and	screen	star	in	her	native	china	who	was	last	seen	starring	opposite	dick	gere	in	red	corner	(	7	10	)	.	another	is	dutch	born	frederique	van	der	wal	,	who	is	one	of	the	world's	most	recognized	supermodels	,	having	graced	the	cover	of	cosmopolitan	numerous	times	,	as	well	as	harper's	bazaar	,	vogue	and	mademoiselle	.
neg	the	happy	bastard's	quick	movie	reviewthe	concept	of	enjoying	a	stupid	comedy	is	best	realized	as	keeping	it	stupid	,	really	.	shift	gears	even	once	and	the	audience	can	be	thrown	miserably	out	of	control	.	sadly	,	that	is	the	case	with	kingpin	,	a	film	directed	by	the	farrelly	brothers	,	the	duo	that	brought	us	there's	something	about	mary	and	dumb	and	dumber	.	since	the	duo	directed	and	didn't	write	the	script	,	i	can	assume	that's	part	of	the	problem	.	the	story	seems	good	enough	:	a	pro	bowler	in	the	1970's	by	the	name	of	roy	munson	(	woody	harrelson	)	is	sitting	on	top	of	the	world	.	his	popularity	has	gone	through	the	roof	and	he's	getting	his	career	off	the	ground	.	then	,	however	,	he	runs	into	ed	mccracken	(	bill	murray	)	,	a	rival	bowler	with	hardly	any	real	consideration	for	,	well	,	anything	.	these	two	form	an	ill	timed	relationship	that	involves	risky	betting	,	and	,	before	roy	sees	it	coming	,	ed's	abandoned	him	and	he's	about	to	lose	his	hand	in	a	bowling	ball	machine	.	forward	seventeen	years	later	,	where	roy	has	become	quite	the	loser	,	complete	with	mechanical	hand	,	torn	up	car	,	and	,	of	course	,	the	occasional	knocking	up	of	the	ugly	ass	landlord	to	avoid	paying	rent	for	a	while	.	however	,	he	finds	a	glimmer	of	a	hope	upon	a	visit	to	a	local	bowling	alley	,	where	he	runs	into	an	amish	kid	named	ishmael	(	randy	quaid	)	,	who	has	quite	the	bowling	arm	.	with	the	kid's	help	,	he	figures	he	can	be	known	again	,	particularly	at	the	biggest	bowling	tournament	rapidly	approaching	in	reno	,	nevada	.	of	course	,	the	amish	kid	needs	some	coaxing	,	particularly	when	you	consider	,	well	,	he's	amish	.	this	leads	to	some	of	the	best	comic	scenes	in	the	film	,	such	as	roy's	process	of	removing	horseshoes	or	milking	the	cow	.	finally	,	the	duo	get	on	the	road	and	,	along	the	way	,	pick	up	an	additional	helper	a	beautiful	hustler	(	played	by	the	gorgeous	vanessa	angel	)	.	the	main	problem	i	had	with	kingpin	wasn't	the	fact	it	wasn't	funny	.	in	fact	,	it	does	have	some	rather	hilarious	scenes	in	it	,	such	as	the	aformentioned	above	and	roy's	explanation	of	not	having	children	(	something	involving	a	cheese	grater	?	)	.	but	that's	just	it	scenes	.	there's	a	couple	of	really	serious	scenes	that	throw	off	the	entire	momentum	of	the	movie	,	like	the	abuse	angel	takes	from	her	hustler	ex	boyfriend	.	i	mean	,	was	this	really	necessary	?	couldn't	have	this	been	handled	just	a	bit	wackier	?	i	mean	,	this	is	a	comedy	,	why	throw	ethics	in	?	particularly	in	a	farrelly	brothers	vehicle	,	where	hair	gel	can	be	easily	mistaken	?	that	really	ruined	it	,	however	,	and	that's	too	bad	.	the	acting	is	top	notch	,	especially	from	angel	and	murray	,	and	the	really	funny	scenes	are	worth	noting	.	still	,	if	you're	going	to	think	dumb	,	think	dumb	all	the	way	through	,	ok	?	at	least	the	farrelly	brothers	got	back	on	track	with	mary	or	i'd	still	be	a	little	bit	irked	.
neg	rated	pg	13	universal	pictures	starring	hank	azaria	,	janeane	garofalo	,	william	h	.	macy	,	kel	mitchell	,	paul	reubens	,	ben	stiller	,	wes	studi	,	greg	kinnear	,	lena	olin	,	geoffrey	rush	,	tom	waits	,	eddie	izzard	,	claire	forlani	based	on	the	comic	book	by	bob	burden	written	by	neil	cuthbert	directed	by	kinka	usher	it	could	have	been	a	summer	hit	;	perhaps	the	beginning	of	a	much	needed	franchise	for	universal	pictures	.	the	superheroes	without	superpowers	storyline	seemed	to	appeal	to	all	of	us	underachieving	americans	.	so	where	did	"	mystery	men	"	go	wrong	?	in	my	opinion	,	at	almost	every	turn	.	"	mystery	men	"	is	the	story	of	7	self	made	heroes	out	to	fight	supervillain	cassanova	frankenstein	(	geoffrey	rush	)	in	order	to	get	back	their	real	superhero	,	captain	amazing	(	greg	kinnear	)	.	the	film	is	supposed	to	be	a	mockery	of	comic	book	action	franchises	,	but	the	jokes	just	aren't	funny	at	all	.	the	only	real	high	notes	in	an	"	all	star	"	cast	(	which	includes	paul	reubens	a	.	k	.	a	pee	wee	herman	)	are	ben	stiller	and	janeane	garofalo	,	who	each	have	the	talent	to	make	any	line	into	a	sardonic	,	cynical	catchphrase	.	while	the	film's	basic	idea	sounds	like	fun	,	"	mystery	men	"	is	actually	somewhat	of	a	bore	thanks	to	neil	cuthbert's	one	note	script	and	kinka	usher's	wannabe	hip	and	stylish	direction	.	even	as	a	comedy	sketch	,	there	wouldn't	be	much	to	"	mystery	men	"	,	so	why	torture	us	with	a	feature	film	?	"	mystery	men	"	also	disappointed	at	the	box	office	,	so	thankfully	,	no	sequel	is	being	planned	.	a	capsule	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	teenagemoviecritic	.	8m	.	com	hr	get	free	voicemail	,	fax	and	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	voicemail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	voicemail	.	excite	.	com	a	talk	online	at	a	href	"	http	:	voicechat	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	voicechat	.	excite	.	com	a
neg	review	by	lars	lindahl	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	larsattacks	mail	.	com	"	larsattacks	mail	.	com	a	)	"	double	jeopardy	"	(	1999	)	(	out	of	four	)	tommy	lee	jones	chases	an	innocent	victim	around	america	who	is	trying	to	prove	that	she	did	not	kill	her	spouse	.	the	fugitive	?	not	quitethis	is	the	plot	for	double	jeopardy	,	another	fugitive	copycat	without	the	action	,	excitement	,	and	good	acting	that	the	original	had	.	there	are	other	slight	differences	besides	one	movie	being	bad	and	the	other	good	;	this	time	tommy	lee	jones	plays	a	parole	officer	not	a	us	marshall	,	clever	huh	?	oh	and	the	fugitive	ashley	judd	was	framed	by	her	own	husband	(	bruce	greenwood	)	who	needed	to	collect	two	million	dollars	in	life	insurance	money	not	a	one	armed	man	.	both	movies	are	on	video	.	make	the	wise	choice	and	pick	the	fugitive	.	there	are	so	many	flaws	in	double	jeopardy	,	it	is	laughable	.	while	serving	time	in	prison	,	libby	parsons	(	judd	)	discovers	that	she	can	never	be	charged	for	committing	the	same	crime	twice	.	learning	that	her	husband	is	still	alive	,	she	decides	to	serve	her	time	in	prison	,	find	him	,	retrieve	her	son	,	and	kill	her	husband	if	necessary	.	when	the	strict	parole	officer	travis	lehman	(	jones	)	stands	in	her	way	,	libby	decides	to	break	the	rules	(	who	knows	why	?	)	and	continue	her	plan	,	despite	the	fact	that	if	she	gets	caught	,	she's	going	back	to	jail	.	director	bruce	beresford	spends	way	too	much	time	trying	to	convince	the	audience	that	libby	misses	her	son	.	every	other	scene	,	we	are	given	a	shot	of	libby	staring	and	crying	at	his	picture	.	in	an	action	movie	like	this	,	valuable	time	wasted	on	these	shots	takes	away	more	opportunities	for	libby	to	get	up	and	do	something	.	all	that	is	needed	in	this	type	of	movie	is	a	short	scene	in	which	libby	tells	herself	or	a	friend	"	i	miss	my	son	.	"	nothing	more	,	nothing	less	.	dr	.	kimble	of	the	fugitive	didn't	look	at	one	picture	of	his	dead	wife	,	his	primary	concern	was	to	save	himself	.	libby	at	times	shows	this	same	determination	but	not	nearly	enough	.	ashley	judd	and	bruce	greenwood	both	are	excellent	actors	but	if	they	continue	to	do	movies	like	this	,	they	will	be	typecast	for	the	rest	of	their	careers	,	kind	of	like	their	doomed	co	star	tommy	lee	jones	.	winning	an	oscar	for	the	fugitive	must	have	convinced	jones	that	audiences	will	never	get	tired	of	his	i	do	my	job	whether	they	are	innocent	or	guilty	roles	.	people	still	pay	to	see	his	movies	and	he	makes	plenty	of	money	so	i	guess	he	was	right	.	though	i	don't	think	he	will	win	another	oscar	again	.	the	ultimate	mistake	in	the	script	is	what	eventually	becomes	of	libby	parsons	.	even	if	she	was	excused	for	disobeying	her	parole	officer	,	the	number	of	other	crimes	she	commits	while	on	the	run	are	too	numerous	to	count	.	burglary	,	assault	,	grand	theft	auto	are	some	of	libby's	slipups	.	the	message	of	the	movie	is	you	can	break	all	of	the	small	laws	as	long	as	you're	innocent	of	the	major	crime	.	hopefully	criminals	won't	use	double	jeopardy	as	a	reference	in	court	for	why	they	are	innocent	.	that	would	just	be	plain	stupid	.
neg	great	.	here	i	am	,	writing	a	review	of	yet	another	cheesy	,	clichd	,	ben	affleck	romantic	comedy	in	which	i	will	probably	be	flamed	by	affleck	fans	,	paltrow	fans	,	romantics	,	teens	,	and	widows	.	yeah	widows	.	why	?	because	bounce	is	the	latest	in	a	string	of	contrived	romantic	comedies	to	feature	a	man	falling	for	a	widow	whom	he	helped	to	make	a	widow	.	yeah	it's	our	old	friends	bob	and	harvey	weinstein	,	and	this	time	they're	capitalizing	on	plane	crashes	,	public	relations	companies	,	alcoholics	,	and	stalkers	all	in	the	same	wicked	stroke	.	here	we	have	buddy	amaral	(	affleck	)	,	just	a	good	old	sweet	talking	ad	rep	who	happens	to	give	a	free	first	class	plane	ticket	to	a	guy	named	greg	(	tony	goldwyn	)	in	order	to	sleep	with	mimi	(	natasha	henstridge	really	,	who	wouldn't	go	for	that	)	?	of	course	,	the	plane	crashes	,	and	,	wouldn't	you	know	it	,	he	happens	to	rep	the	airlines	.	so	he	does	what	any	person	would	:	he	drinks	.	cut	to	a	year	later	,	and	buddy's	out	of	rehab	and	decides	to	take	step	8	(	contact	those	you	have	wronged	and	make	amends	)	a	little	too	seriously	,	and	he	begins	following	the	widowed	abby	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	,	the	former	wife	of	greg	.	finding	out	that	she's	a	realtor	,	he	fixes	it	so	he	rips	his	own	business	off	to	the	tune	of	100	,	000	,	making	herself	a	double	commission	to	boot	.	grateful	as	she	is	,	she	buys	a	couple	of	dodgers	tickets	and	the	two	head	down	the	eventless	path	towards	true	bliss	.	if	this	plot	thrills	you	,	or	makes	you	coo	,	"	ah	,	how	sweet	,	"	then	please	go	see	bounce	.	now	.	i'm	sure	you'll	enjoy	the	paint	by	numbers	romance	.	but	let's	face	it	,	this	is	not	exactly	a	great	flick	.	in	fact	,	it's	downright	terrible	.	in	fact	,	the	idea	of	being	romanced	by	an	alcoholic	stalker	named	buddy	is	a	little	more	silence	of	the	lambs	than	sliding	doors	.	writer	director	don	roos's	last	project	,	the	opposite	of	sex	,	was	one	of	the	most	honest	films	about	homosexual	stereotypes	in	recent	years	.	and	i'll	give	him	the	benefit	of	the	doubt	that	he	was	trying	to	address	issues	of	honesty	and	grieving	,	but	this	time	he	crashes	and	burns	like	the	plush	747	o'hare	red	eye	that	makes	a	fiery	farewell	.	the	performances	are	weak	,	the	script	couldn't	hold	up	a	toddler	,	and	the	emotional	value	is	slightly	above	that	of	a	couple	of	valium	.	sorry	,	gwen	and	ben	,	but	even	that	oh	so	cute	non	romance	we	read	about	at	checkout	lines	daily	can't	salvage	this	wreck	.
neg	what's	the	worst	that	could	happen	?	a	film	review	by	david	n	.	butterworth	copyright	2001	david	n	.	butterworth	if	you've	been	following	william	fichtner's	career	(	and	there's	absolutely	no	reason	why	you	should	have	)	,	you	might	have	noticed	that	he's	played	some	rather	similar	roles	over	the	years	.	like	sully	in	"	the	perfect	storm	"	tough	,	gruff	,	and	a	little	bit	scary	.	or	law	in	"	albino	alligator	"	tough	,	gruff	,	and	little	bit	scarier	.	or	colonel	william	sharp	in	"	armageddon	,	"	or	dwayne	engelman	in	"	strange	days	,	"	or	even	his	brief	appearance	towards	the	beginning	of	"	pearl	harbor	,	"	as	the	abusive	father	of	danny	here	is	an	actor	who	gravitates	towards	tough	,	gruff	,	hard	hitting	roles	.	which	is	why	his	performance	in	"	what's	the	worst	that	could	happen	?	"	is	such	a	shock	,	such	a	delight	.	in	the	film	,	fichtner	plays	a	blonde	haired	,	meticulously	dressed	,	overtly	effeminate	,	dog	loving	detective	.	as	alex	tardio	,	fichtner's	performance	borders	on	caricature	but	goes	beyond	it	.	it	borders	on	offensive	but	doesn't	really	manage	it	.	and	it	borders	on	clichd	stereotype	but	doesn't	quite	succumb	to	that	definition	either	.	in	a	role	so	diametrically	opposed	to	what	the	actor	has	played	before	we	should	have	seen	it	coming	,	fichtner	isn't	perfect	you	can	see	him	struggling	a	little	at	times	,	concentrating	a	little	too	hard	on	the	look	as	he	swishes	his	hand	through	the	air	,	or	nuzzles	a	coiffed	canine	up	close	and	personal	but	he's	pretty	damned	good	,	and	silly	,	and	without	question	the	best	thing	in	the	film	.	in	fact	,	had	it	not	been	for	fitchner's	sudden	and	bizarre	appearance	,	and	his	jarring	screen	presence	thereafter	,	i	would	have	walked	out	,	for	"	what's	the	worst	that	could	happen	?	"	is	mesmerizing	in	its	awfulness	,	a	poorly	written	,	haphazardly	edited	,	and	totally	unfunny	(	yes	,	it	stars	martin	lawrence	and	danny	devito	so	how	could	that	be	possible	?	)	moviegoing	experience	.	fichtner's	performance	doesn't	exactly	save	the	film	,	and	it's	not	like	i'm	recommending	"	what's	the	worst	that	could	happen	?	"	solely	on	the	strength	of	the	actor's	dramatic	turnaround	,	but	his	contributions	do	raise	the	film's	rating	from	no	stars	to	one	and	a	half	.	thumbs	up	to	fichtner	then	,	and	thumbs	down	way	,	way	,	down	to	everyone	else	involved	in	this	sorry	mess	,	a	movie	so	dull	and	pedestrian	and	nonsensical	it	doesn't	even	warrant	discussion	.
neg	in	the	james	bond	film	"	diamonds	are	forever	,	"	tiffany	case	asks	007	whether	he	prefers	brunettes	to	redheads	.	bond's	response	is	that	it	doesn't	really	matter	,	as	long	as	collars	and	cuffs	match	.	well	,	collars	and	cuffs	don't	match	in	"	the	real	blonde	.	"	what	might	have	sounded	good	on	paper	ends	up	as	a	largely	unfunny	,	meandering	comedy	on	screen	.	the	film	,	supposedly	a	satire	of	the	superficiality	of	soap	operas	and	the	modeling	business	,	is	wafer	thin	.	it	plays	like	an	"	ally	mcbeal	"	episode	dragged	out	to	the	nth	degree	,	replete	with	a	few	unnecessary	"	fantasy	"	sequences	.	writer	director	tom	dicillo	manages	the	material	as	if	poking	fun	at	daytime	dramas	is	a	fresh	idea	.	it	isn't	.	the	only	surprise	here	is	that	the	talented	dicillo	could	make	familiar	terrain	so	dreary	.	matthew	modine	plays	joe	,	a	struggling	actor	waiting	tables	in	order	to	pay	the	rent	.	he's	35	with	no	agent	and	no	credits	since	he's	too	proud	to	take	on	roles	in	commercials	or	soap	operas	.	"	that's	not	really	acting	"	he	tells	his	girlfriend	of	six	years	,	mary	(	catherine	keener	)	,	with	whom	he	bickers	constantly	about	sex	.	but	they	need	the	money	,	so	joe	finally	agrees	to	take	a	part	in	a	madonna	video	.	but	it's	not	really	madonna	starring	in	the	video	but	a	lookalike	(	played	by	elizabeth	berkley	,	still	trying	to	jump	start	her	career	after	"	showgirls	"	)	.	this	points	out	how	artificial	this	whole	business	is	,	one	supposes	.	dicillo	has	referred	to	"	the	real	blonde	"	as	"	off	kilter	,	but	an	interesting	combination	of	all	sorts	of	stuff	.	.	.	"	the	film	,	which	wanders	all	over	the	place	without	getting	anywhere	,	is	remarkably	on	kilter	and	,	with	perhaps	the	single	exception	of	the	always	likable	modine	(	who's	not	afraid	to	stand	around	in	a	very	unattractive	bathing	suit	surrounded	by	hunks	)	,	the	entire	cast	is	vague	and	uninteresting	.	catherine	keener	,	who's	appeared	in	dicillo's	previous	three	films	(	including	the	brilliant	"	living	in	oblivion	"	)	,	is	at	her	most	annoying	in	"	the	real	blonde	.	"	look	at	her	closely	;	she	really	can't	act	at	all	.	her	reactions	are	all	wrong	,	almost	always	out	of	sync	with	her	co	stars	.	she	reacts	too	soon	,	or	too	late	,	to	lines	and	situations	.	she	moves	her	eyes	,	or	her	mouth	,	far	too	much	.	she	frowns	,	she	yells	,	she	babbles	she	blows	chunks	.	maxwell	caulfield	plays	joe's	actor	waiter	buddy	bob	,	the	one	obsessed	with	dating	a	"	natural	"	blonde	.	bob's	personality	(	not	to	mention	caulfield's	acting	ability	)	parallels	that	of	the	character	he	plays	on	the	soap	opera	"	passion	crest	"	stiff	and	uninteresting	.	maybe	that's	the	point	.	daryl	hannah	is	dim	and	uninteresting	as	the	real	blonde	of	the	title	,	a	soap	dish	who	beds	bob	both	on	and	off	camera	.	hannah	looks	about	fifty	in	this	movie	(	she's	only	37	)	.	why	is	that	?	almost	all	the	women	in	the	film	wear	tops	that	show	their	nipples	.	why	is	that	!	?	marlo	thomas	plays	an	uninteresting	fashion	photographer	.	kathleen	turner	plays	an	uninteresting	talent	agent	.	buck	henry	plays	an	uninteresting	shrink	.	christopher	lloyd	plays	an	uninteresting	caterer	.	and	so	on	.	the	best	parts	of	the	"	the	real	blonde	"	are	the	beginning	and	the	end	,	brief	scenes	of	an	elderly	woman	losing	and	then	finding	her	dog	.	there's	more	depth	and	sincerity	in	a	single	close	up	of	her	expressive	face	than	in	the	entire	film	.	while	this	contrast	is	supposedly	meant	to	highlight	the	shallowness	of	the	other	characters'	lives	,	the	only	thing	that	makes	shallow	and	superficial	interesting	is	if	it's	funny	.
neg	the	back	of	the	video	box	for	arachnophobia	is	deceiving	.	it	markets	itself	as	a	horror	movie	with	a	comedic	side	and	it's	anything	but	that	.	what	begins	as	a	cool	idea	for	a	horror	movie	(	out	in	the	tropical	rainforest	)	trying	to	find	old	species	of	spiders	and	other	creepy	crawlies	(	ok	,	i	admit	that	word	is	extremely	hokey	.	)	but	once	the	film	gets	off	to	it's	interesting	start	,	and	the	story	is	set	up	,	it's	all	down	hill	from	there	.	ross	(	daniels	in	one	of	his	non	comedic	roles	)	and	molly	(	jane	kozak	)	have	just	moved	to	a	lovely	small	town	in	california	from	san	francisco	.	but	he's	frightened	when	his	wife	shows	him	a	huge	spider	web	in	their	barn	because	he's	an	arachnophobic	,	someone	who	is	afraid	of	spiders	.	he's	destined	to	become	the	local	doctor	when	the	town's	current	doctor	retires	,	but	when	he	decides	not	to	throw	in	the	towel	yet	,	his	job	is	insecure	.	when	a	throws	a	party	for	everyone	in	the	town	and	someone	is	killed	shortly	thereafter	he	begins	to	wonder	.	naturally	the	spiders	take	over	,	killing	and	sucking	the	blood	of	all	of	the	surrounding	areas	from	their	house	.	a	spider	from	south	america	and	a	domestic	house	spider	have	bred	a	whole	new	deadly	species	who's	headquarters	is	in	ross's	barn	.	it	takes	them	more	than	three	fourths	of	the	movie	to	figure	this	out	,	but	the	movie	shows	you	the	solution	in	minutes	.	while	having	it's	creepy	moments	,	arachnophobia	isn't	that	scary	.	hollywood	has	once	again	easily	taken	something	that's	almost	harmless	and	turned	it	into	the	evil	villain	.	everyone	in	the	film	realizes	that	they	are	in	a	cheesy	movie	and	they	pretty	much	play	it	to	the	limit	.	the	film	isn't	funny	at	all	(	but	the	video	package	won't	tell	you	that	.	)	if	you	enjoy	a	film	that	will	have	you	checking	your	bed	,	shower	,	or	other	household	appliances	for	weeks	,	rent	arachnophobia	which	gets	1	2	stars	.	the	young	uns	:	the	film	contains	some	brief	graphic	spider	bites	and	related	goo	and	gore	.	it	also	contains	some	language	.	good	age	:	10	up	,	if	they	can	handle	spiders	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	a
neg	_	reach	_	the	_	rock	_	(	r	)	1	2	(	out	of	)	"	an	intimate	,	character	driven	drama	about	a	troubled	youth	at	a	crossroads	in	his	life	,	"	read	the	press	notes	for	_	reach	_	the	_	rock	_	.	i'm	not	really	sure	what	film	that	statement	is	describing	because	those	words	bear	little	resemblance	to	the	slow	,	completely	uninvolving	bore	i	saw	at	least	,	it	certainly	does	not	describe	what	goes	on	for	most	of	the	film	.	alessandro	nivola	plays	robin	fleming	,	a	troubled	,	directionless	21	year	old	who	has	a	penchant	for	breaking	storefront	windows	in	a	small	town	.	police	sergeant	phil	quinn	(	william	sadler	)	takes	him	in	,	and	what	ensues	for	the	first	70	minutes	is	a	tedious	series	of	sneak	outs	and	sneak	ins	where	robin	slips	out	of	his	jail	cell	,	breaks	a	window	,	then	returns	,	all	without	quinn	ever	noticing	.	also	added	to	the	pointless	proceedings	is	some	would	be	humorous	shenanigans	involving	quinn's	dimwitted	deputy	ernie	attempting	to	engage	in	clandestine	patrol	car	sex	with	his	girlfriend	donna	(	karen	sillas	)	.	with	a	half	hour	(	if	even	that	long	)	remaining	,	director	william	ryan	and	writer	john	hughes	(	yes	,	john	hughes	of	'80s	youth	films	and	_	home	_	alone	_	)	finally	approach	something	close	to	a	point	.	turns	out	robin	still	pines	for	his	high	school	sweetheart	lise	(	brooke	langton	)	,	who	has	long	gone	on	with	her	life	,	and	hughes's	main	concern	at	long	last	reveals	itself	as	a	tired	"	live	in	the	present	and	for	the	future	"	message	.	most	moviegoers	,	however	,	will	likely	be	asleep	by	that	time	.	wide	awake	,	however	,	is	the	cast	,	who	individually	tackle	their	showcase	dramatic	scenes	with	energy	and	skill	thus	revealing	the	_	real	_	purpose	behind	this	listless	enterprise	:	to	serve	as	a	series	of	acting	exercises	.	such	a	glorified	workshop	may	have	its	rewards	for	the	actors	,	but	it	leaves	audiences	with	a	booby	prize	.	(	opens	october	16	)
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	america's	sweethearts	"	(	columbia	sony	)	what	a	waste	of	a	talented	cast	!	billy	crystal	and	co	writer	peter	tolan	have	concocted	a	sly	,	provocative	premise	and	,	as	the	opening	credits	roll	,	it's	obvious	that	they're	attempting	an	old	fashioned	romantic	comedy	.	the	story	involves	a	veteran	publicist	(	billy	crystal	)	who	is	summoned	to	orchestrate	a	press	junket	in	las	vegas	when	an	arrogant	director	(	christopher	walken	)	holds	a	megabuck	movie	hostage	in	his	editing	room	,	refusing	to	show	it	to	anyone	.	he	figures	that	by	giving	the	journalists	juicy	hints	of	a	possible	reconciliation	between	the	film's	once	married	but	now	estranged	stars	,	gwen	and	eddie	(	catherine	zeta	jones	,	john	cusack	)	,	they'll	be	so	distracted	that	they	won't	remember	they	didn't	see	the	movie	or	it	wasn't	what	they	expected	.	(	and	crystal	thought	of	this	long	before	a	sony	exec	concocted	the	phony	critic	david	manning	quote	scandal	!	)	for	help	,	he	turns	to	gwen's	personal	assistant	sister	(	julia	roberts	)	.	but	the	laughs	are	few	and	far	between	.	crystal's	glib	,	cynical	flack	isn't	wickedly	funny	enough	with	a	few	amusing	one	liners	.	after	six	months	under	the	care	of	a	depak	chopra	like	guru	(	alan	arkin	)	,	cusack's	character's	too	emotionally	fragile	,	lacking	the	necessary	charisma	.	zeta	jones's	vain	,	narcissistic	diva	is	undeveloped	and	one	dimensional	.	only	hank	azaria	,	as	zeta	jones's	much	macho	spanish	lover	,	and	stanley	tucci	,	as	a	studio	exec	,	and	roberts	manage	to	whip	up	any	farcical	froth	.	basically	,	we	don't	like	these	ego	driven	,	stereotypical	characters	,	let	alone	root	for	them	to	unwind	their	romantic	entanglements	,	and	joe	roth's	direction	is	predictable	,	formulaic	and	telegraphic	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	america's	sweethearts	"	is	a	contrived	,	shallow	4	.	as	a	screwball	satire	,	it's	strictly	superficial	.
neg	writers	directors	:	harry	elfont	and	deborah	kaplan	starring	:	ethan	embry	,	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	peter	facinelli	,	lauren	ambrose	,	charlie	korsmo	,	seth	green	,	michelle	brookhurst	,	erik	palladino	,	melissa	joan	hart	,	breckin	meyer	,	donald	adeosun	faison	,	jerry	o'connell	,	jenna	elfman	the	most	interesting	part	of	"	can't	hardly	wait	"	just	happens	to	be	not	only	the	most	human	,	but	for	many	of	us	,	the	one	part	that	many	of	us	can	easily	relate	to	.	that	is	the	character	of	denise	(	lauren	ambrose	)	,	the	film's	sole	sarcastic	member	who	mocks	everything	that	goes	on	in	the	film	,	and	at	one	point	sits	down	on	a	couch	and	looks	totally	bored	.	the	film	wisely	holds	over	this	moment	,	nicely	showing	her	alienation	in	the	midst	of	a	large	high	school	party	.	.	.	almost	too	nicely	.	for	some	members	of	the	audience	(	read	:	me	)	,	this	is	basically	a	mirror	of	what's	going	on	with	them	watching	this	film	.	we	sit	there	wondering	why	we've	even	bothered	to	see	a	film	about	a	long	high	school	party	we	probably	never	felt	the	desire	to	go	to	in	the	first	place	.	i	would	actually	highly	recommend	this	film	if	it	satirized	all	of	this	.	after	all	,	this	film	is	filled	with	a	bunch	of	pathetic	stereotypes	much	of	which	i	went	to	high	school	with	.	everyone's	here	:	the	jock	,	the	homecoming	queen	,	the	nerd	(	and	his	dominions	of	trekkies	and	x	philes	)	,	the	alienated	wannabe	writer	,	the	school	spirit	girl	,	the	pothead	(	s	)	,	the	wigger	,	etc	,	etc	,	etc	,	and	weirdly	enough	this	film	shows	them	as	superficial	,	lame	,	and	basically	as	a	bunch	of	losers	.	except	for	denise	,	who	rolls	her	eyes	at	everything	,	and	easily	becomes	the	most	likable	character	even	before	she	speaks	(	her	yearbook	entry	,	something	which	is	done	for	each	main	character	,	quotes	oscar	wilde	definite	pointers	there	)	.	unfortunately	,	the	writers	and	directors	take	several	major	misteps	on	the	way	to	making	this	into	an	admirable	and	even	likable	film	.	the	film	,	as	i	said	,	portrays	most	of	its	characters	as	superficial	and	just	totally	ignorant	to	everything	.	however	,	instead	of	sticking	with	this	,	perhaps	even	going	a	bit	further	with	it	,	they	let	this	lie	,	and	actually	make	these	characters	into	our	heroes	.	we	follow	several	of	them	,	all	a	bunch	of	moronic	stereotypes	with	only	a	shread	of	humanity	and	realism	,	and	tries	to	tell	boring	and	overly	melodramatic	tales	about	them	as	if	we	actually	cared	and	or	identified	with	them	.	and	if	we	did	,	we	certainly	don't	want	to	revisit	that	state	of	being	.	here's	a	quick	low	down	:	it's	graduation	,	and	we	follow	a	bunch	of	seniors	on	the	last	night	,	otherwise	known	as	the	"	american	grafitti	"	or	,	to	a	lesser	extent	,	the	"	dazed	and	confused	"	cliche	.	the	formal	just	followed	them	as	they	drove	aimlessly	;	the	latter	did	a	little	bit	of	that	and	featured	a	big	outdoor	keg	party	.	"	can't	hardly	wait	"	just	opts	for	a	big	indoor	keg	party	,	and	a	little	bit	of	aimless	driving	,	albeit	of	the	i'm	whining	because	i	can't	get	a	girl	i	want	brand	.	we	follow	many	people	around	,	but	mostly	we	trail	preston	(	ethan	embry	,	of	"	that	thing	you	do	!	"	)	,	the	alienated	writer	,	who's	been	pining	over	the	homcoming	queen	,	amanda	(	the	totally	overrated	jennifer	love	hewitt	)	,	for	the	entirety	of	high	school	because	he	thinks	they	shared	a	moment	their	freshman	year	over	a	freaking	pop	tart	.	now	that	she's	broken	up	with	her	football	player	boyfriend	,	mike	(	peter	facinelli	)	,	he	decides	to	go	to	the	party	with	a	note	he's	written	declaring	his	"	love	"	for	her	in	the	hopes	he'll	build	up	the	guts	to	give	it	to	her	.	.	.	even	though	he's	leaving	for	a	multi	week	intensive	writing	program	hosted	by	none	other	than	kurt	vonnegut	(	okay	:	the	ingenius	vonnegut	or	some	icky	noxema	spokesperson	?	)	.	since	that	plot	is	incredibly	lame	and	a	track	record	of	what	goes	on	with	it	wouldn't	be	able	to	carry	a	commercial	let	alone	a	feature	film	,	and	because	it's	a	party	,	there	are	some	more	main	characters	,	such	as	:	william	(	charlie	korsmo	,	finally	surfacing	after	"	dick	tracy	"	)	,	the	nerd	(	and	his	dominions	)	who	has	come	up	with	a	ridiculous	plan	to	publically	sabotage	mike	,	who's	humiliated	him	for	years	,	but	gets	too	caught	up	in	drinking	to	do	it	;	kenny	(	seth	green	)	,	the	wigger	,	who	has	decided	that	this	party	will	be	where	he	will	finally	get	laid	(	uh	huh	)	;	and	denise	,	the	only	exceptional	character	,	who	unfortunately	gets	stuck	in	a	bathroom	(	don't	ask	)	with	kenny	where	the	two	characters	let	down	their	characters	and	are	allowed	to	follow	the	laws	of	plot	cliches	from	point	a	to	point	b	with	nary	a	bit	of	characterization	involved	after	awhile	.	ugh	.	the	main	comparison	this	film	is	getting	to	another	film	is	actually	not	"	american	grafitti	"	or	"	dazed	and	confused	,	"	two	films	that	embraced	and	ultimately	made	humans	out	of	many	of	its	high	schoolers	(	not	to	mention	were	extremely	entertaining	)	,	but	to	john	hughes	films	of	the	80s	,	most	notably	"	sixteen	candles	.	"	the	big	difference	in	the	two	is	that	that	film	managed	to	not	only	embrace	but	even	satirize	its	main	characters	,	and	did	so	equally	and	in	an	entertaining	fashion	.	this	film	forgets	to	satirize	its	characters	,	and	ultimately	tells	a	story	about	a	bunch	of	uninteresting	stereotypes	.	.	.	and	then	says	that	it's	all	okay	.	we	can't	take	this	film	seriously	,	nor	can	we	take	this	as	fun	,	so	really	what	good	is	it	?	but	i	will	tell	you	some	things	i	did	like	:	i	liked	the	direction	,	except	for	a	couple	too	over	the	top	features	,	like	way	too	glossy	jump	cuts	(	it's	like	an	oxymoron	)	and	other	obscurities	.	generally	,	though	,	elfont	and	kaplan	do	have	graceful	camera	movement	,	and	even	manage	to	capture	an	altman	esque	feel	to	their	film	from	time	to	time	(	a	thing	with	a	note	,	though	,	is	too	hokey	to	really	be	admirable	)	.	i	actually	did	like	seth	green	,	for	once	in	about	a	decade	(	when	he	played	a	very	young	woody	allen	in	"	radio	days	"	)	his	desintegration	of	his	wigger	character	was	almost	believable	.	.	.	almost	.	and	,	of	course	,	lauren	ambrose	is	wonderful	as	denise	,	the	one	character	we	could	have	used	some	more	of	,	even	though	it	would	have	changed	the	entirety	of	the	film	.	however	,	the	character	of	denise	really	doesn't	work	with	the	film	,	when	really	thought	about	.	she's	far	too	witty	and	realized	(	at	least	for	the	first	half	)	to	belong	in	this	film	,	and	whenever	she	appears	,	she	automatically	gives	everything	a	delightfully	satirical	tone	.	she's	not	just	the	cynic	or	the	intellectual	;	she's	just	a	very	interesting	character	who	provides	entertainment	even	if	it	further	damages	other	already	damaged	characters	.	she	may	ruin	the	film	more	,	but	at	least	when	she's	on	screen	we	can	sit	up	and	think	to	ourselves	"	well	,	at	least	we'll	be	entertained	.	"	a	couple	other	things	that	just	don't	work	:	mike's	character	,	who	suffers	an	epiphany	throughout	the	film	but	in	the	end	acts	as	though	he	has	forgotten	everything	:	too	much	the	sacrificial	lamb	for	the	film	in	general	;	the	aimless	,	bitchy	driving	by	preston	to	try	and	get	over	his	inability	to	shack	up	with	amanda	give	me	a	break	;	and	perhaps	the	one	thing	that	just	doesn't	work	at	all	:	jenna	eflman's	uncredited	cameo	as	an	angel	just	didn't	work	,	but	nice	try	.	basically	the	worst	thing	about	this	film	,	the	real	reason	i'm	giving	this	such	a	low	rating	,	is	because	it	refuses	to	give	us	any	fully	realized	characters	and	then	insists	we	follow	around	complete	stereotypes	from	other	movies	doing	things	that	are	inane	and	unlike	anything	we'd	do	.	we	don't	feel	for	these	characters	because	for	most	of	us	,	we	aren't	stereotypes	going	through	the	motions	to	worn	subplots	.	the	acid	test	for	high	school	movies	is	:	does	it	at	all	capture	the	feel	of	what	it's	portraying	?	the	answer	for	this	film	is	no	.	nice	try	,	though	.
neg	when	you've	run	out	of	old	tv	shows	to	turn	into	movies	,	i	guess	you	try	video	games	.	why	did	i	go	to	see	mortal	kombat	:	annihilation	?	the	quest	to	seek	an	answer	to	this	query	may	prove	a	better	movie	that	the	one	i	just	saw	.	this	film	was	a	bunch	of	fighting	,	yelling	,	special	effects	,	and	bad	acting	set	to	an	oppressive	techno	music	soundtrack	.	the	plot	is	fairly	simple	:	a	portal	has	opened	between	our	world	and	the	"	outworld	"	,	allowing	evil	forces	commanded	by	shao	kahn	(	brian	thompson	)	to	wreak	havoc	and	attempt	to	destroy	humanity	.	the	good	guys	,	led	by	sorcerer	rayden	(	james	remar	)	and	human	mortal	liu	kang	(	robin	shou	)	,	must	take	the	fight	to	outworld	,	where	the	fate	of	both	worlds	will	be	determined	.	here's	the	catch	:	they	must	reunite	princess	katana	(	talia	soto	)	,	who's	on	the	good	side	,	with	her	resurrected	mother	queen	sindel	(	musetta	vander	)	,	who's	on	the	bad	side	,	for	their	love	for	each	other	will	close	the	portal	and	ensure	humanity's	safety	for	another	generation	.	how	this	is	supposed	to	work	,	i	still	have	no	idea	,	but	i	liked	katana's	line	,	"	i	knew	love	would	keep	us	together	,	"	since	that	captain	and	tennille	song	ran	through	my	head	and	i	got	a	good	laugh	.	there	are	some	seriously	stupid	things	in	this	movie	.	take	,	for	example	,	a	transportation	system	which	utilizes	the	"	inner	winds	"	,	generated	by	earth's	magma	flows	.	you	get	in	this	metal	ball	which	transports	you	through	underground	tunnels	really	fast	.	how	fast	?	as	katana	says	,	"	you	will	be	moving	so	fast	,	it	will	be	as	if	you	are	not	moving	at	all	.	"	what	?	later	,	sonya	blade	(	sandra	hess	)	goes	to	find	jax	(	lynn	"	red	"	williams	,	otherwise	known	as	"	saber	"	on	tv's	american	gladiators	)	at	a	medical	research	facility	on	the	island	of	oahu	.	how	do	we	know	this	is	where	she	went	?	there's	a	sign	on	the	facility's	perimeter	fence	that	reads	:	medical	research	facility	oahu	,	hawaii	.	remember	,	this	is	not	a	caption	,	but	an	actual	sign	.	i	guess	the	location	is	on	there	for	all	those	medical	researchers	who	keep	forgetting	where	they	are	.	there's	a	lot	of	major	flipping	action	,	too	.	the	first	encounter	between	good	and	evil	shows	kahn	and	rayden	swiftly	arching	though	the	air	toward	one	another	.	do	they	land	and	immediately	get	into	the	fighting	?	does	one	of	them	land	first	and	catch	the	other	off	guard	?	do	they	collide	in	mid	air	?	no	,	apparently	they	flip	toward	each	other	so	they	can	talk	without	having	to	yell	from	far	away	.	why	did	they	need	those	metal	balls	to	travel	?	everyone	could	have	just	flipped	from	point	a	to	point	b	.	i	have	to	admit	,	the	fight	scenes	are	pretty	good	,	although	you	can	tell	they	are	heavily	enhanced	by	digital	effects	and	fly	wires	,	allowing	the	characters	to	surpass	the	limits	of	the	human	body	and	the	laws	of	physics	.	the	movie's	thrills	are	derived	from	these	scenes	and	most	of	the	audience	responses	are	on	the	visceral	level	when	someone	gets	trashed	really	badly	.	"	ouch	"	was	the	most	common	expletive	heard	when	i	screened	this	one	.	you	could	tell	that	the	filmmakers	knew	in	advance	that	fights	,	not	plot	,	would	be	the	main	draw	,	since	dialog	is	apparently	in	the	film	just	to	get	from	one	fight	to	the	next	.	it	seems	that's	all	there	is	in	this	movie	.	maybe	it	is	.	as	i	had	mentioned	,	the	acting	is	bad	.	there's	not	one	solid	performance	in	the	film	,	although	williams	as	jax	was	pretty	funny	.	after	a	fight	between	sonya	and	one	of	the	bad	guys	degenerates	into	female	mud	wrestling	,	jax	says	,	"	you	look	good	in	mud	.	no	,	really	,	you	do	.	"	remar	plays	rayden	with	an	inconsistency	which	makes	it	hard	to	take	his	character	seriously	,	and	shou	is	relatively	emotionless	as	liu	kang	.	brian	thompson	,	who	has	played	good	guys	,	bad	guys	,	and	even	an	alien	on	tv's	the	x	files	,	but	always	some	muscle	bound	behemoth	,	is	your	average	evil	demi	god	,	but	it's	more	the	script's	fault	than	his	own	that	he	doesn't	have	anything	original	to	say	.	the	one	really	impressive	thing	about	this	movie	is	that	there	is	not	one	swear	word	in	the	whole	hour	and	a	half	.	another	thing	which	should	be	noted	is	that	for	all	its	punching	and	kicking	,	blood	only	appears	in	one	scene	.	all	in	all	,	mortal	kombat	:	annihilation	is	loud	,	violent	,	shallow	,	and	marketed	toward	kids	.	hey	,	just	like	the	video	game	!
neg	martin	lawrence	is	not	funny	.	for	the	proof	just	turn	to	his	newest	film	,	what's	the	worst	that	could	happen	?	the	answer	to	its	own	question	if	ever	there	has	been	one	.	i	don't	know	how	martin	lawrence	the	former	1987	star	search	winner	with	an	arrest	record	that	would	make	tommy	lee	envious	has	been	able	to	survive	with	all	of	the	bad	,	bad	films	he	has	starred	in	during	the	past	6	years	.	two	words	:	bad	boys	.	ed	.	big	momma's	house	,	blue	streak	,	life	,	and	a	thin	line	between	love	and	hate	are	all	forgettable	movies	which	can	be	found	in	quantity	on	the	clearance	table	at	your	local	video	store	.	but	survive	he	has	,	and	in	worst	,	lawrence	is	a	mediocre	eddie	murphy	stuck	playing	another	jewel	thief	in	another	run	of	the	mill	studio	comedy	.	worst	revolves	around	a	ridiculous	cat	and	mouse	game	between	a	thief	named	kevin	caffery	(	lawrence	)	who	gets	caught	burglarizing	media	conglomerate	ceo	max	fairbanks	(	danny	devito	)	,	who	in	turn	steals	kevin's	lucky	ring	given	to	him	by	his	girlfriend	.	kevin	then	vows	to	get	the	ring	back	at	any	cost	thus	setting	up	numerous	comedic	situations	to	follow	that	play	out	like	a	homogenized	sitcom	.	the	cast	is	rounded	out	with	an	annoying	latino	sidekick	(	john	leguizamo	)	,	a	one	dimensional	girlfriend	(	carmen	ejogo	)	who	spends	half	the	movie	whining	about	kevin's	numerous	exploits	in	retrieving	the	ring	,	a	super	fly	white	guy	hacker	who	uses	more	apple	products	than	jeff	goldblum	to	hack	into	max's	e	mail	and	surveillance	system	,	and	kevin's	sharp	tongued	mentor	(	bernie	mac	)	who	deserves	much	better	roles	than	bit	parts	in	martin	lawrence	comedies	.	the	comedy	plays	out	like	a	henny	youngman	joke	.	kevin	and	his	cronies	break	into	max's	miami	penthouse	dressed	up	like	arabic	princes	and	steal	pac	contributions	intended	for	shady	senate	sub	committee	members	.	kevin	calls	max	on	his	cell	phone	he	answers	it	during	a	senate	sub	committee	hearing	!	and	max	then	curses	at	kevin	via	the	television	cameras	as	the	sign	language	interpreter	makes	enough	obscene	gestures	to	would	make	the	diceman	blush	.	whoa	ho	!	sam	weisman's	(	george	of	the	jungle	)	direction	is	lopsided	and	uninteresting	,	and	the	film's	pacing	is	worse	than	betty	white	running	the	boston	marathon	.	the	jokes	are	cheap	,	predictable	,	and	come	solely	at	the	expense	of	others	.	every	race	and	lifestyle	gay	,	black	,	german	,	arabic	,	and	white	,	to	name	but	a	few	are	used	as	easy	targets	.	danny	devito	walks	through	his	role	as	max	fairbanks	as	a	mini	gordon	gekko	crossed	with	his	louie	de	palma	character	from	taxi	.	the	biggest	insult	comes	in	the	guise	of	underrated	actor	william	fichtner	playing	a	sexually	ambiguous	detective	dressed	up	like	a	1970's	bowie	doll	who	is	trying	to	nail	(	ahem	)	max	for	all	of	his	shady	business	deals	.	what's	the	worse	that	could	happen	?	.	.	.	besides	the	release	of	this	film	?	sadly	,	blue	streak	2	is	in	pre	production	,	for	which	lawrence	will	receive	a	20	million	dollar	paycheck	.	now	,	that's	bad	.
neg	a	hotshot	lawyer	gets	an	obviously	guilty	child	molester	acquitted	,	and	shortly	after	during	the	victory	celebration	gets	offered	an	opportunity	to	show	his	prowess	in	new	york	city	.	the	lawyer	,	kevin	lomax	(	keanu	reeves	)	is	not	offered	a	job	yet	,	he	is	asked	to	simply	pick	a	jury	.	he	accepts	.	the	jury	he	selects	work	out	well	and	before	long	he	is	offered	a	job	with	the	firm	.	making	his	decision	easy	is	the	fact	that	not	only	is	he	offered	big	money	,	but	a	gorgeous	apartment	.	he	convinces	his	wife	,	mary	ann	(	charlize	theron	)	to	make	the	move	to	new	york	.	the	first	case	given	to	him	is	a	big	test	;	a	"	winless	"	case	concerning	a	man	who	sacrifices	animals	in	his	basement	.	the	charge	was	health	code	violations	and	kevin	once	again	shows	his	skill	and	earns	an	acquittal	.	his	new	boss	and	partner	in	the	firm	,	john	milton	(	al	pacino	)	is	quite	impressed	and	takes	kevin	under	his	wing	,	explaining	many	of	his	philosophies	on	law	,	women	and	sex	,	and	angles	the	promise	of	a	blissful	,	wealthy	life	.	kevin's	next	case	is	a	dream	case	,	given	to	him	by	milton	himself	(	much	to	the	chagrin	to	his	colleagues	)	,	defending	a	triple	murder	suspect	who	has	had	a	history	of	problems	with	the	law	.	although	kevin's	career	is	taking	off	,	his	home	life	is	not	doing	very	well	.	mary	ann	is	starting	to	have	numerous	problems	.	she	is	experiencing	severe	depression	over	kevin's	long	hours	,	and	before	long	is	having	horrible	dreams	and	hallucinations	of	people	turning	into	ghouls	,	their	faces	becoming	horribly	disfigured	.	kevin	does	not	help	matters	by	dismissing	his	wife	.	he	does	not	spend	more	time	with	her	as	he	explains	to	milton	that	he	needs	to	spend	as	much	time	on	the	case	as	possible	to	get	it	over	with	,	then	focus	all	of	his	attention	on	his	wife	.	not	helping	matters	is	the	fact	that	kevin	is	having	ideas	about	a	possible	affair	with	a	sexy	lawyer	(	connie	nielson	)	also	working	with	the	firm	.	mary	ann	falls	deeper	into	her	madness	as	kevin	spends	more	time	away	from	home	.	kevin	eventually	looses	control	of	his	life	and	has	to	institutionalize	his	wife	,	and	gets	disturbing	news	from	his	mother	(	judith	ivey	)	about	the	mystery	concerning	the	identity	of	his	father	.	he	also	starts	to	lose	control	of	his	case	.	kevin	learns	that	all	of	his	problems	have	been	caused	by	the	work	of	one	man	.	that	man	is	his	boss	,	mr	.	milton	,	a	truly	evil	character	who	just	may	be	the	devil	himself	.	kevin	must	somehow	confront	milton	and	thwart	whatever	diabolical	plan	he	has	in	store	.	but	how	do	you	defeat	the	devil	?
neg	directed	by	bill	froehlich	.	cast	:	scott	jacoby	,	lori	lethin	,	vince	edwards	,	alex	rocco	,	brendan	hughes	,	philip	mckeon	,	richard	brestoff	,	al	fann	,	panchito	gomez	,	michael	eric	kramer	,	pepper	martin	,	maureen	mccormick	,	marvin	mcintyre	,	remy	o'neill	,	andy	romano	,	george	clooney	.	1987	95	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	gore	,	profanity	,	sex	,	nudity	)	.	reviewed	november	10	,	1998	.	"	return	to	horror	high	,	"	wants	to	be	a	couple	different	types	of	movies	at	once	.	the	film	tells	the	story	of	a	low	budget	horror	movie	being	filmed	at	the	closed	down	crippen	high	,	a	school	where	a	group	of	serial	murders	took	place	five	years	before	.	but	what	the	cast	and	crew	don't	know	is	that	a	real	killer	,	maybe	the	same	one	that	was	never	apprehended	,	is	going	into	action	again	.	on	one	level	,	"	return	to	horror	high	"	is	a	slasher	movie	,	and	it	is	at	this	level	that	it	works	the	best	on	.	watching	the	film	,	which	was	made	in	1987	,	i	couldn't	help	but	take	notice	that	the	killer's	costume	was	almost	identital	to	that	of	the	ghostface	in	,	"	scream	,	"	and	"	scream	2	.	"	on	another	level	,	the	film	wants	to	be	a	slapstick	comedy	,	and	there	are	many	hints	of	this	throughout	.	unfortunately	,	most	of	these	jokes	fall	flat	.	and	the	last	thing	the	film	wants	to	be	is	a	"	behind	the	scenes	"	look	at	an	exploitation	film	being	made	.	the	only	problem	is	that	,	while	much	of	it	is	supposed	to	be	from	the	movie	itself	being	made	,	no	cameras	are	shown	filming	it	,	thus	making	it	far	more	confusing	than	it	had	to	be	.	and	to	top	it	all	off	,	the	"	twist	"	ending	makes	very	little	to	no	sense	whatsoever	,	and	so	we	are	basically	left	with	feeling	as	if	we	wasted	our	time	.	there	are	story	developments	that	are	beyond	ludicrous	,	and	plot	holes	you	could	drive	a	winnebago	through	.	if	you	see	the	film	,	or	have	seen	it	,	you'll	know	what	i	mean	.	the	premise	of	"	return	to	horror	high	,	"	is	admittedly	pretty	crafty	,	and	i	liked	the	atmosphere	of	the	school	,	which	is	where	the	whole	thing	takes	place	.	but	director	froehlich	,	judging	from	this	movie	,	is	an	incompetent	director	,	except	for	being	able	to	film	the	seldom	suspeneful	scene	.	well	,	come	to	think	of	it	,	there	is	only	one	scene	that	is	actually	scary	,	and	it	has	to	do	with	two	actors	being	locked	in	a	room	as	the	killer	tries	to	break	in	.	but	other	than	that	two	minute	distraction	,	"	return	to	horror	high	,	"	is	certainly	no	great	shake	.	note	:	look	for	george	clooney	in	a	supporting	role	as	one	of	the	actors	on	the	film	.	and	strangely	enough	,	he	is	the	first	character	to	get	the	ax	.	.	.	literally	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	review	by	scott	hunt	visit	me	at	movie	hunt	a	href	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	a	)	cast	:	danny	devito	,	bette	midler	,	casey	affleck	,	jamie	lee	curtis	,	neve	campbell	,	william	fichtner	director	:	nick	gomez	writer	:	peter	steinfeld	ever	watch	a	very	young	child	try	and	tell	a	joke	that	is	beyond	his	,	or	her	,	sophistication	?	it's	full	of	stops	and	starts	and	usually	,	the	punch	line	is	ruined	.	i	felt	the	same	way	watching	drowning	mona	.	skip	a	stone	across	water	and	you	approximate	the	depth	of	this	attempt	at	an	ensemble	comedy	.	there	are	some	slightly	successful	attempts	at	humor	,	but	they	only	serve	as	window	dressing	.	there	is	a	running	gag	about	the	town	,	verplanck	,	n	.	y	.	,	being	a	test	town	for	the	then	new	yugo	.	everyone	drives	a	yugo	,	differentiating	their	cars	with	personalized	license	plates	.	even	the	police	chief	drives	one	.	there	is	a	certain	sublimeness	to	the	image	of	a	lights	and	siren	decked	out	yugo	skittering	its	way	through	the	town	streets	.	there	also	is	a	running	gag	about	one	of	the	characters	,	jeff	,	missing	a	hand	and	how	it	occurred	.	it	pokes	gentle	fun	at	the	notion	of	urban	legends	.	it	turns	out	the	truth	is	more	horrifying	than	any	legend	.	there	are	some	sight	gags	that	pop	up	as	well	,	such	as	mona's	tombstone	,	which	reads	"	demoted	"	,	instead	of	devoted	.	still	,	the	core	of	the	story	maintains	the	flatness	of	a	still	pond	.	the	lynchpin	of	the	film	falls	on	the	redundant	and	sporadic	scenes	involving	mona	(	midler	)	.	each	scene	with	her	is	the	same	:	scream	at	someone	,	hit	someone	,	then	scream	some	more	.	there's	no	uniqueness	or	modulation	to	her	or	explanation	for	her	meanness	.	anyone	off	the	street	could	have	played	the	role	,	such	as	it	is	.	the	other	characters	are	walking	cardboard	cutouts	.	each	one	is	defined	by	one	trait	and	no	further	attempt	is	made	at	deeper	characterization	.	there	is	a	burly	,	female	car	mechanic	,	so	of	course	,	there	is	a	forced	lesbianism	gag	.	mona's	son	,	jeff	(	marcus	thomas	)	is	a	simpleton	,	hence	you	can	predict	his	dialogue	before	it	even	plods	its	way	from	his	mouth	.	chief	of	police	rash	(	devito	)	likes	broadway	musicals	and	loves	his	daughter	.	there's	nothing	more	to	him	.	elle	,	the	chief's	daughter	(	campbell	)	,	is	bland	personified	,	a	dutiful	girl	with	no	higher	aspiration	than	to	have	a	child	and	be	married	.	mona's	husband	phil	(	fichtner	)	jeckle	and	hydes	from	shirking	coward	to	reptilian	letch	.	bob	(	affleck	)	,	elle's	betrothed	,	and	business	partner	to	jeff	,	is	a	mumbling	,	obvious	dullard	.	there	is	no	contrast	to	any	of	the	characters	.	by	having	at	least	one	character	with	some	wit	,	or	wits	,	to	serve	as	counterpoint	to	the	others	,	perhaps	steinfeld's	attempt	at	satirizing	a	small	town	infested	with	ambitionless	people	might	have	come	off	better	.	ostensibly	a	murder	mystery	,	drowning	mona	gives	you	almost	all	the	clues	immediately	,	then	lets	you	sit	back	and	feel	superior	as	you	watch	the	cast	of	paper	people	fumble	their	way	to	finding	the	killer	,	who	could	be	anyone	due	to	mona's	loving	manner	with	everyone	on	town	.	even	that	aspect	of	the	film	fails	,	throwing	in	a	convenient	,	ridiculous	and	unsatisfying	wrap	to	things	.	it's	been	a	while	since	i	walked	away	from	a	movie	theater	in	an	angry	mood	.	what	makes	it	all	the	more	remarkable	is	that	i	rarely	remember	a	comedy	making	me	so	angry	for	wasting	my	time	at	it's	ineptitude	.
neg	it	would	be	easy	to	miss	the	point	of	a	film	like	'hurlyburly'	.	that	is	if	it	had	one	.	i've	been	a	movie	critic	for	15	years	and	i	don't	think	i've	ever	seen	a	more	pointless	film	that	rambles	on	and	on	and	on	like	a	broken	record	and	when	it's	over	,	it's	no	closer	to	having	said	anything	in	its	final	10	minutes	than	in	its	opening	running	time	of	the	same	length	.	set	in	hollywood	hills	,	eddie	and	mickey	(	sean	penn	and	kevin	spacey	)	play	room	mates	who	are	successful	talent	agency	executives	and	are	well	on	their	way	to	becoming	major	hollywood	players	.	they	wallow	in	all	the	excesses	of	classic	tinsel	town	life	.	snorting	cocaine	,	picking	up	drifting	hookers	and	bringing	them	home	for	wild	sex	,	indulging	themselves	in	the	extremes	of	alcohol	.	and	when	it's	all	said	and	done	,	it's	real	but	you	won't	care	one	bit	.	also	along	for	the	socially	unredeeming	ride	is	phil	(	chazz	palminteri	)	.	phil	is	an	ex	con	who	always	wears	a	leather	jacket	and	tries	to	pass	himself	off	as	the	gq	end	of	the	movie	business	.	nothing	more	than	a	hollywood	wannabe	,	phil	wants	to	be	a	stuntman	and	goes	on	endless	cattle	calls	only	to	be	passed	over	each	time	he	auditions	.	quick	tempered	and	having	had	many	different	children	with	many	different	women	,	phil	is	perhaps	the	most	amoral	of	the	bunch	and	his	fate	is	of	little	consequence	or	surprise	.	others	characters	in	the	film	are	artie	(	gary	shandling	)	.	artie	is	a	close	friend	of	eddie	and	mickey's	who	pops	by	for	the	occasional	boys	night	out	and	his	character	is	perhaps	the	most	pointless	male	in	the	film	.	the	female	characters	are	even	more	disappointing	.	meg	ryan	is	bonnie	,	a	stripper	with	a	child	who	comes	to	party	at	the	whim	of	a	phone	call	.	robin	wright	penn	is	darlene	,	an	actress	struggling	to	make	it	with	more	than	just	her	talent	and	anna	paquin	is	donna	,	a	drifter	and	air	head	who	looks	for	her	next	meal	ticket	and	place	to	call	home	around	every	corner	.	'hurlyburly'	has	a	companion	film	in	1998	known	as	'high	art'	.	this	film	knew	when	to	listen	and	when	to	keep	quiet	.	it	displayed	the	seedy	side	of	big	city	life	,	the	consequences	of	drug	use	,	and	low	morals	with	polish	and	a	sedated	side	to	its	personality	.	'hurlyburly'	is	like	a	car	wreck	with	no	chance	to	breathe	,	an	extremely	high	decibel	level	,	and	a	screenplay	by	david	rabe	,	based	on	his	play	,	that	tries	too	hard	to	look	like	a	well	written	piece	of	art	when	it	is	nothing	more	than	a	two	hour	play	on	semantics	with	a	calculating	sense	of	the	preposterous	.	director	anthony	drazan	is	a	slave	to	the	film's	screenplay	,	adding	no	injection	of	his	own	vision	and	there	is	a	scene	in	the	final	third	of	the	film	where	eddie	and	darlene	have	sex	and	upon	leaving	the	bed	,	the	long	arm	of	a	boom	mic	is	visible	in	a	mirror	for	about	thirty	seconds	!	this	really	is	professional	film	making	?	!	how	a	cast	like	this	could	be	coaxed	into	such	a	mess	is	a	mystery	.	despite	their	energy	and	convincing	styles	,	i	suspect	that	they	wanted	to	make	a	film	with	long	takes	,	limited	editing	and	a	chance	to	put	any	actor's	true	test	of	talent	(	the	stage	)	on	celluloid	in	a	filmed	stage	play	that	is	as	desirable	to	watch	as	falling	into	a	bottomless	pit	.
neg	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	i'll	make	a	prediction	right	now	.	kurt	russell	,	whom	i	admire	as	an	actor	in	a	lot	of	movies	,	will	win	the	razzie	award	for	worst	actor	of	1998	in	'soldier'	.	i	read	somewhere	that	russell	utters	a	total	of	only	68	words	in	the	entire	film	and	to	me	he	spends	the	rest	of	the	movie	looking	like	a	mindless	version	of	frankenstein's	monster	,	one	of	the	living	dead	and	a	cyborg	all	rolled	into	one	.	russell	gave	an	excellent	performance	in	1979's	'elvis'	,	a	television	classic	that	brought	him	an	emmy	nomination	as	best	actor	.	some	of	his	best	work	can	be	found	in	movies	such	as	'breakdown'	,	'unlawful	entry'	,	'backdraft'	and	'tequila	sunrise'	.	but	as	an	action	hero	?	russell	is	too	talented	for	that	.	his	portrayal	of	the	ordinary	guy	in	a	lot	of	films	makes	his	presence	work	but	'soldier'	is	junk	.	an	unsavory	mix	of	several	science	fiction	films	scaled	down	into	one	mess	.	beginning	in	1996	,	russell	is	taken	from	the	maternity	ward	of	the	hospital	he's	born	at	by	a	secret	military	attach	that	trains	him	from	the	cradle	to	be	an	unbeatable	,	unstoppable	and	pure	fighting	machine	.	we	see	his	progression	as	a	soldier	at	various	ages	until	his	training	ends	at	the	beginning	of	manhood	when	he	turns	17	.	several	more	years	pass	and	russell	is	now	around	40	and	a	new	breed	of	soldier	is	created	and	their	colonel	(	jason	issacs	)	is	arrogantly	pleased	that	his	men	,	he	feels	,	are	superior	to	the	men	lead	by	a	rather	sedate	captain	(	gary	busey	)	who	is	russell's	commanding	officer	.	issacs	challenges	busey	to	select	his	best	men	to	take	down	his	most	effective	new	breed	of	soldier	(	jason	scott	lee	)	.	russell	is	one	of	the	men	selected	and	during	the	hand	to	hand	combat	exercise	,	russell	is	presumed	dead	along	with	a	couple	of	other	men	but	not	before	he	can	take	out	one	of	the	new	soldier's	eye	and	scar	part	of	his	face	.	the	bodies	of	the	now	"	obsolete	"	soldiers	are	disposed	of	on	a	desolate	planet	but	russell	turns	out	not	to	be	dead	and	upon	landing	with	a	large	batch	of	space	junk	,	meets	the	inhabitants	of	the	desolate	waste	planet	and	tries	to	lead	them	in	the	oncoming	invasion	to	be	carried	out	by	the	deranged	colonel	responsible	for	his	current	fate	.	the	people	are	taken	a	back	to	russell's	deadly	form	of	fighting	power	since	their	way	of	life	is	relatively	peaceful	and	the	climax	is	pay	back	and	revenge	in	a	most	ordinary	way	.	director	paul	anderson	(	'event	horizon'	)	has	made	an	real	turkey	of	a	movie	that	cries	out	as	the	definition	of	'empty'	if	you	were	to	look	it	up	in	the	dictionary	.	the	film's	obligatory	violence	is	meaningless	and	to	a	larger	extent	,	no	focus	is	given	to	create	any	interesting	characters	as	a	contrast	to	russell's	character	.	what	made	1984's	'the	terminator'	work	was	the	fact	that	the	characters	portrayed	by	linda	hamilton	and	michael	biehn	were	truly	human	and	were	a	good	character	contrast	to	arnold's	mechanical	elements	.	trashy	and	exploiting	,	'soldier'	will	have	you	asking	"	what's	the	point	?	"	when	you	leave	the	theatre	.	not	bad	for	the	testosterone	crowd	but	for	the	rest	of	us	,	this	film	is	an	example	of	too	much	money	spent	on	a	film	that's	been	done	a	million	times	before	.
neg	paramount	2	:	02	1997	r	(	violence	,	language	,	nudie	pics	)	cast	:	dennis	quaid	;	danny	glover	;	jared	leto	;	r	.	lee	ermey	;	ted	levine	;	william	fichtner	director	:	jeb	stuart	screenplay	:	jeb	stuart	this	season	needs	another	serial	killer	movie	like	kathie	lee	gifford	needs	more	public	devastation	.	but	lo	and	behold	,	here	comes	"	switchback	,	"	and	fast	on	the	heels	of	such	stalker	fare	as	"	kiss	the	girls	"	and	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	.	"	but	"	switchback	"	is	an	undoubtedly	weak	genre	entry	,	as	the	material	it	covers	is	old	and	tired	,	and	the	filmmakers	rarely	sustain	enough	energy	to	make	any	of	the	proceedings	interesting	.	"	switchback	"	opens	with	the	murder	of	a	babysitter	and	the	abduction	of	the	young	child	she's	watching	.	we	learn	late	in	the	game	that	the	kid	belongs	to	fbi	agent	frank	lacrosse	(	dennis	quaid	)	,	and	that	the	kidnapper	killer	is	a	nameless	fiend	that	lacrosse	has	been	tracking	across	the	country	for	quite	a	while	.	he	is	promptly	removed	from	the	case	,	but	this	conflict	of	interest	doesn't	keep	him	from	offering	pursuit	.	lacrosse's	most	recent	trek	takes	him	to	a	blood	soaked	hotel	room	in	amarillo	,	texas	,	where	the	local	sheriff	(	r	.	lee	ermey	)	is	torn	between	his	re	election	campaign	and	helping	his	new	ally	catch	his	man	.	in	a	related	aside	,	former	railway	worker	bob	goodall	(	danny	glover	)	is	cruising	through	the	snowbound	west	in	his	pinup	plastered	(	even	on	the	seatbelts	)	el	dorado	.	along	the	way	,	he	picks	up	and	subsequently	saves	the	life	of	hitchhiking	loner	lane	dixon	(	jared	leto	)	.	this	tangent	isn't	a	random	one	,	as	bob	or	lane	will	end	up	either	holding	a	piece	of	the	puzzle	or	turn	out	to	be	the	killer	himself	.	or	is	the	villain	in	fact	lacrosse	,	only	pretending	to	be	after	the	cold	hearted	murderer	he	knows	so	much	about	.	in	a	sense	,	that's	half	of	the	basic	problem	with	"	switchback	.	"	for	its	first	hour	,	the	movie	presents	evidence	that	any	of	these	three	men	could	be	the	perpetrator	,	so	we're	given	little	insight	into	who	they	are	,	likely	for	fear	that	we'll	learn	too	much	too	fast	and	therefore	be	able	to	make	the	proper	deduction	.	but	"	switchback	"	then	decides	to	explicitly	reveal	the	killer's	identity	at	its	midpoint	,	and	the	following	contradictory	character	motivations	muddle	both	the	pacing	and	the	generation	of	suspense	.	some	of	the	acting	is	a	burdensome	area	as	well	,	probably	because	the	performers	were	instructed	to	build	personas	that	are	the	exact	opposite	of	their	true	selves	.	what	is	danny	glover	doing	here	,	grinning	and	yeehawing	his	way	through	the	messy	plot	?	and	dennis	quaid	?	(	that	monotone	stop	it	!	)	ermey	is	solid	in	a	supporting	role	that's	more	interesting	than	the	two	leads	thrown	together	,	but	the	charismatic	leto	(	claire	danes'	object	of	affection	in	"	my	so	called	life	"	)	is	a	scene	stealer	tried	and	true	.	from	a	material	standpoint	,	"	switchback	"	is	pretty	empty	.	but	even	when	first	time	director	jeb	stuart	(	who	wrote	"	the	fugitive	"	and	"	die	hard	"	)	doesn't	know	what	to	do	,	he	knows	what	he	wants	it	to	look	like	the	movie	provides	some	great	visuals	.	the	set	on	a	train	climax	looks	good	(	even	though	the	action	is	illogical	)	,	and	the	beautiful	,	crisp	cinematography	captures	the	rockies	in	all	of	their	icy	splendor	.	still	,	that's	not	enough	to	turn	a	lump	of	coal	into	a	diamond	,	and	more	than	the	movie's	look	will	end	up	leaving	you	cold	.	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
neg	cast	:	leslie	nielsen	,	kelly	lynch	,	ernie	hudson	,	stephen	tobolowsky	,	matt	keeslar	,	nick	chinlund	,	malcolm	mcdowell	,	miguel	ferrer	,	jennifer	garner	director	:	stanley	tong	producer	:	ben	myron	screenplay	:	pat	proft	tom	sherohman	cinematography	:	jingle	ma	music	:	michael	tavera	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	walt	disney	pictures	when	walt	disney	pictures	announced	a	live	action	feature	based	on	the	'60s	cartoon	series	of	"	mr	.	magoo	,	"	special	interests	groups	representing	the	vision	impaired	let	out	a	cry	of	dismay	.	mr	.	magoo	,	they	claimed	,	would	be	an	insult	to	the	men	and	women	they	represented	.	in	fact	,	they	were	wrong	.	mr	.	magoo	is	not	just	an	insult	to	the	blind	and	near	blind	,	it's	an	insult	to	every	human	being	who	has	the	misfortune	to	suffer	through	this	dreadfully	unfunny	,	90	minute	atrocity	.	it's	stating	the	obvious	to	remark	that	disney	appears	to	have	run	out	of	original	ideas	.	look	at	their	roster	of	1996	and	1997	releases	,	and	you'll	see	a	shocking	list	of	retreads	,	including	101	dalmatians	,	george	of	the	jungle	,	jungle2jungle	,	that	darn	cat	!	,	flubber	,	and	now	mr	.	magoo	.	the	best	of	these	(	george	of	the	jungle	)	was	mildly	entertaining	.	the	worst	,	mr	.	magoo	,	exposes	just	how	painful	a	bad	movie	experience	can	be	.	the	first	problem	with	mr	.	magoo	is	the	script	.	despite	the	collaboration	of	naked	gun	scribe	pat	proft	,	mr	.	magoo	is	comically	barren	.	from	beginning	to	end	,	there's	not	a	laugh	to	be	found	.	every	attempt	at	humor	and	there	are	lots	of	them	falls	flat	with	an	audible	thud	.	you'd	think	that	out	of	the	dozens	of	gags	jammed	into	this	film	,	at	least	a	few	would	work	,	but	that's	not	the	case	.	i've	had	more	laughs	during	ingmar	bergman	pictures	.	then	there's	leslie	nielsen	,	who	looks	,	sounds	,	and	acts	absolutely	nothing	like	the	animated	character	(	memorably	voiced	by	jim	backus	)	.	in	the	past	,	nielsen	has	proven	his	comic	aptitude	with	roles	in	movies	like	airplane	and	the	naked	gun	.	lately	,	however	,	he	has	been	getting	lazy	,	taking	parts	in	the	likes	of	dracula	:	dead	and	loving	it	,	spy	hard	,	and	mr	.	magoo	.	even	if	nielsen	was	in	top	form	,	it	would	take	an	incredible	stretch	of	imagination	to	see	him	as	magoo	(	especially	since	we're	reminded	of	the	original	by	the	short	cartoon	segments	that	open	and	close	the	film	)	,	but	"	top	form	"	is	not	a	phrase	i	would	use	to	describe	his	performance	here	.	this	is	strictly	a	take	the	money	and	run	operation	.	the	story	,	which	,	like	many	disney	stories	,	can	be	described	in	one	long	sentence	:	magoo	is	the	only	witness	to	the	theft	of	a	rare	jewel	from	a	museum	,	and	,	as	he	is	trying	to	apprehend	the	thieves	on	his	own	,	the	police	mistake	him	for	the	robber	.	the	cops	are	played	by	ernie	hudson	and	stephen	tobolowsky	,	who	take	their	lumps	early	and	often	.	the	bad	guys	are	kelly	lynch	(	who	does	a	lot	of	martial	arts	type	kicking	)	,	nick	chinlund	,	and	malcolm	mcdowell	(	who	has	the	good	sense	to	look	embarrassed	)	.	matt	keeslar	portrays	one	of	magoo's	sidekicks	his	nephew	,	waldo	.	the	bumbling	man's	other	,	more	interesting	companion	is	a	dog	named	angus	.	most	of	mr	.	magoo's	humor	comes	in	the	form	of	failed	slapstick	.	the	cartoon	violence	level	in	this	film	doesn't	approach	that	of	home	alone	3	or	flubber	,	but	it's	still	pretty	acute	,	with	characters	getting	hit	on	the	head	with	sledgehammers	and	knocked	off	snowy	precipices	.	there's	a	non	violent	bit	with	magoo	preparing	a	chicken	dinner	that	could	have	been	funny	if	it	was	handled	better	,	but	,	compared	to	mr	.	bean's	recent	,	similar	misadventure	,	it	doesn't	hold	up	well	.	then	there	is	the	series	of	lame	jokes	that	result	from	magoo's	near	blindness	,	such	as	the	occasion	when	he	mistakes	a	wild	animal	for	a	baby	.	i'm	willing	to	cut	director	stanley	tong	a	little	slack	.	tong	,	a	hong	kong	film	maker	trying	to	break	into	the	hollywood	market	,	has	helmed	several	jackie	chan	movies	,	including	first	strike	,	rumble	in	the	bronx	,	and	supercop	.	his	chief	talent	,	that	of	choreographing	martial	arts	fights	,	is	wasted	here	(	despite	some	high	kicking	by	kelly	lynch	)	.	like	john	woo	(	hard	target	)	and	ringo	lam	(	maximum	risk	)	before	him	,	it	appears	that	tong	has	been	consigned	to	the	purgatory	of	making	a	bad	movie	as	his	entry	into	the	american	mainstream	.	it	is	worth	noting	that	,	unlike	many	disney	films	which	hold	a	perverse	appeal	for	the	under	10	crowd	while	driving	parents	to	distraction	,	mr	.	magoo	appears	to	bore	viewers	of	all	ages	.	the	screening	i	attended	was	wall	to	wall	kids	,	and	,	for	the	most	part	,	they	didn't	seem	to	be	enjoying	themselves	.	when	the	film	was	over	,	i	asked	one	little	girl	what	she	thought	of	it	.	her	pained	expression	confirmed	the	adage	that	a	picture	can	indeed	be	worth	a	thousand	words	.	mr	.	magoo	is	the	kind	of	movie	that	should	be	rejected	by	any	potential	viewer	,	sight	unseen	.
neg	director	:	les	mayfield	writers	:	john	hughes	and	bill	walsh	(	based	on	the	1961	film	"	the	absent	minded	professor	"	by	bill	walsh	)	starring	:	robin	williams	,	marcia	gay	harden	,	christopher	mcdonald	,	raymond	j	.	barry	,	clancy	brown	,	ted	levine	,	will	wheaton	,	edie	mcclurg	,	jodi	benson	"	flubber	"	is	the	second	best	example	of	how	to	take	all	the	life	out	of	a	film	remake	an	adaptation	,	and	hysterically	enough	both	were	distributed	by	disney	.	it's	the	kind	of	film	that	may	be	slightly	entertaining	to	tiny	kids	,	but	anyone	else	will	feel	left	out	as	it's	boring	,	slow	,	and	incredibly	lifeless	.	what	could	be	a	film	with	cinematic	magic	is	instead	dead	in	the	water	,	and	it's	a	shame	because	it	could	have	been	a	great	film	.	hypothetically	,	i	mean	.	"	flubber	,	"	as	you	probably	know	,	is	a	remake	of	the	disney	classic	i	never	saw	,	"	the	absent	minded	professor	,	"	where	a	,	well	,	absent	minded	professor	played	by	fred	mcmurray	created	an	erratic	substance	known	as	"	flubber	,	"	you	know	,	flying	rubber	?	the	new	one	keeps	the	basic	plot	,	but	appears	to	have	added	a	lot	else	,	like	more	absent	mindedness	on	the	part	of	the	proffessor	,	some	more	villains	,	and	several	"	show	stopping	"	moments	,	like	a	big	rumba	with	the	flubber	,	and	some	more	elaborate	setups	,	none	which	really	make	it	any	better	,	but	instead	make	it	worse	.	the	basic	plot	revolves	around	a	college	professor	,	philip	brainerd	(	robin	williams	)	,	who	creates	lots	and	lots	of	inventions	,	but	is	sadly	absent	minded	.	in	fact	,	he's	forgotten	his	wedding	to	the	college's	president	,	sara	jean	reynolds	(	indie	actress	marcia	gay	harden	)	,	two	times	before	he	forgets	it	again	at	the	beginning	.	doesn't	this	warrant	some	kind	of	mental	treatment	?	anyway	,	on	his	wedding	day	(	the	third	one	)	,	he	invents	the	flubber	,	which	not	only	bounces	off	of	everything	like	a	super	ball	on	speed	,	but	can	also	change	shape	like	the	aliens	in	water	form	in	"	the	abyss	.	"	philip	believes	that	this	invention	,	once	fully	realized	,	will	save	his	college	,	which	is	in	threat	of	being	shut	down	by	a	millionaire	tycoon	villain	,	chester	hoenicker	(	raymond	j	.	barry	)	,	which	is	ironically	enough	the	same	college	his	brat	son	(	will	wheaton	thought	he	was	dead	)	goes	to	.	through	a	plot	twist	,	hoenicker's	goons	,	named	smith	and	wesson	(	ha	ha	what	a	great	sense	of	humor	this	film	has	)	who	are	played	by	clancy	brown	and	ted	levine	(	both	who	needed	the	pay	check	)	,	discover	it	the	hard	way	,	and	try	to	steal	for	hoenicker	,	who	wants	it	just	'cause	he's	evil	enough	.	a	sub	plot	involves	philip's	attempts	to	win	back	sara	,	who's	angry	at	him	(	and	with	good	reason	)	,	but	who	is	being	seduced	by	who	is	basically	philip's	belloq	,	wilson	croft	(	christopher	mcdonald	,	playing	the	hysterically	suave	yet	unsuave	asswhole	once	again	)	.	and	in	another	subplot	,	philip's	day	timer	robot	,	weebo	(	voiced	by	the	one	and	only	jodi	benson	)	,	falls	in	love	with	him	.	yuckity	yuck	.	what's	most	pathetic	about	this	film	is	how	dull	it	is	.	you	don't	need	to	be	a	cynical	college	student	to	be	able	to	see	right	through	this	film	,	which	is	another	in	a	long	line	of	cheap	attempts	at	making	a	quick	buck	by	disney	,	who	have	essentially	become	the	puff	daddy	of	the	film	industry	,	half	assedly	re	mixing	classics	(	or	non	classics	)	for	distribution	to	the	general	public	,	who	sadly	eats	it	all	up	.	earlier	in	'97	,	they	released	"	jungle	2	jungle	,	"	an	adaptation	of	a	really	awful	french	film	,	"	un	indien	dans	la	ville	,	"	which	,	yeah	,	improved	over	the	original	,	but	not	by	much	.	disney's	in	about	as	bad	shape	as	warner	brothers	right	now	,	only	creatively	.	in	the	rush	to	ship	out	a	film	for	distribution	,	disney	has	forgotten	to	give	this	film	a	little	thing	called	"	magic	.	"	such	scenes	as	dancing	flubber	,	a	flying	car	,	a	basketball	team	that	pretty	much	sucks	flying	all	around	thanks	to	some	carefully	placed	flubber	,	and	an	elaborate	ending	all	fail	to	amaze	,	delight	,	or	even	cause	people	to	laugh	.	i	sat	there	the	entire	film	stone	faced	,	chuckling	perhaps	twice	,	and	shaking	my	head	at	all	the	bad	jokes	.	who	could	really	laugh	at	a	scene	where	philip	enters	the	wrong	classroom	and	starts	teaching	chemistry	?	didn't	think	so	.	it	doesn't	help	that	our	protagonist	is	essentially	unfunny	or	even	really	respectable	.	philip	is	not	a	lovable	absent	minded	professory	,	just	a	really	dumb	man	being	played	by	robin	williams	.	williams	is	a	brilliant	comic	actor	.	.	.	okay	,	a	brilliant	actor	in	general	,	but	here	he's	given	very	little	to	do	but	occasionally	get	hyper	over	something	,	and	other	times	act	sad	.	those	times	,	he's	not	bad	.	but	what	are	we	supposed	to	think	of	a	man	who's	forgotten	his	wedding	thrice	?	maybe	it	was	funny	and	or	respectable	in	the	60s	.	.	.	i	like	disney	,	and	i	usually	enjoy	their	films	,	not	only	animated	but	live	action	,	and	their	recent	films	(	save	for	"	hercules	,	"	which	was	good	,	but	not	great	)	have	been	worse	than	lackluster	,	they've	been	pathetic	.	"	jungle	2	jungle	"	is	probably	the	worst	film	i	saw	last	year	.	"	flubber	"	's	probably	second	.	what	do	they	need	to	do	?	perhaps	create	something	new	.	get	writers	who	can	write	something	that's	universally	entertaining	.	films	like	"	the	parent	trap	"	and	"	mary	poppins	"	are	films	that	are	live	action	(	or	in	the	latter	case	a	mix	of	both	)	,	but	even	i	can	still	watch	them	because	they're	not	only	written	to	be	magical	to	children	,	but	to	be	fun	to	adults	.	what's	more	torturous	that	taking	a	child	to	a	film	that	insults	you	and	annoys	you	at	every	turn	?	and	my	god	,	couldn't	they	have	done	something	else	with	edie	mcclurg	?
neg	for	more	movie	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	and	just	when	you	thought	joblo	was	getting	a	little	soft	around	the	corners	,	not	rating	anything	lower	than	your	standard	"	this	movie	sucks	"	,	along	comes	this	cinematic	atrocity	and	he's	forced	to	take	out	his	secret	weapon	and	spray	it	with	a	stench	so	thick	,	even	the	bravest	movie	goer	would	think	twice	about	seeing	this	waste	of	time	.	yes	,	despite	being	a	third	sequel	to	a	successful	original	movie	,	the	latest	highlander	doesn't	seem	to	have	anything	going	for	it	.	oh	stinky	movie	,	let	me	count	thee	ways	.	.	.	plot	:	(	from	what	i	understood	)	a	really	bad	highlander	dude	comes	to	the	present	looking	to	whack	out	the	nice	highlander	dudes	in	order	to	gain	their	power	and	become	the	mightiest	immortal	.	.	.	or	something	along	those	lines	.	critique	:	a	complete	and	utter	mess	.	disjointed	,	incoherent	,	boring	,	corny	,	filled	with	bad	dialogue	.	.	.	and	that's	just	the	first	thirty	minutes	!	this	film	doesn't	seem	to	know	what	to	do	with	itself	.	it's	confusing	to	anyone	who	doesn't	know	the	series	(	i	include	myself	in	that	group	)	and	apparently	idiotic	to	those	who	do	know	the	series	(	i	include	die	hard	highlander	fan	the	arrow	in	that	group	)	.	the	film	doesn't	explain	anything	about	itself	.	.	.	it	just	goes	from	one	inexplicable	situation	to	another	.	one	moment	they're	in	the	present	time	,	the	next	moment	,	they're	in	italy	in	the	1600s	.	why	?	who	knows	.	what	are	they	talking	about	?	no	idea	.	flashbacks	mixed	in	with	the	present	,	mixed	in	with	a	few	spontaneously	cheesy	fight	sequences	every	now	and	again	,	and	i	even	remember	seeing	one	flashback	scene	which	went	even	further	into	its	own	flashback	scene	!	!	hullo	.	.	.	?	!	?	confused	yet	?	i	was	and	i	basically	stopped	giving	a	crap	about	anyone	in	the	film	when	i	realized	that	neither	the	writer	or	director	was	interested	in	presenting	me	with	any	kind	of	semblance	of	a	story	.	random	swordplay	,	mad	max	like	dudes	showing	up	in	motorcycles	in	the	1800s	?	or	were	they	in	the	present	at	that	time	?	who	knows	.	.	.	and	to	be	honest	.	.	.	who	seriously	cares	!	this	series	should	have	been	shot	in	the	head	and	put	out	of	its	own	misery	a	long	time	ago	,	but	sadly	,	someone	at	the	studio	decided	that	it	still	had	a	little	life	left	in	it	.	please	,	please	.	.	.	for	the	love	of	god	and	all	that	is	holy	in	the	world	of	movie	making	,	and	mostly	out	of	respect	for	those	who	loved	the	original	film	,	put	this	series	to	bed	and	end	it	!	even	christopher	lambert	knew	enough	to	play	second	fiddle	to	adrian	paul	in	this	one	.	the	director	also	tries	to	do	the	best	he	can	with	the	muddled	material	,	but	all	he	could	come	up	with	is	plenty	of	slo	mo	action	,	some	fast	motion	fight	scenes	and	lots	of	smoke	everywhere	.	and	is	there	anything	spectacular	about	the	sword	play	or	fight	scenes	?	nope	.	and	i	think	we	all	could	have	done	without	all	those	zooming	lambert	face	close	ups	.	.	.	yipes	,	the	man	is	not	aging	gracefully	,	is	he	?	oh	boy	,	and	i	haven't	even	gotten	around	to	the	greatest	piece	of	over	acting	that	i've	seen	in	years	.	the	man	who	plays	kell	in	this	movie	,	bruce	payne	,	should	get	a	ham	trophy	for	literally	chewing	up	every	piece	of	scenery	that	he	gets	near	.	overacting	is	not	a	hobby	for	this	guy	.	.	.	it's	a	living	!	he's	also	very	funny	,	not	purposely	though	.	all	in	all	,	the	movie	stinks	.	nuff	said	.
neg	director	:	carl	schenkel	screenplay	:	bayard	johnson	and	j	.	anderson	black	stars	:	casper	van	dien	(	tarzan	)	,	jane	march	(	jane	porter	)	,	steven	waddington	(	nigel	ravens	)	mpaa	rating	:	pg	hr	"	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	"	is	one	of	the	most	anemic	movies	to	come	out	in	quite	a	while	.	not	only	it	is	poorly	written	,	badly	acted	,	and	generally	incompetent	in	all	cinematic	areas	,	it	is	thoroughly	uninspired	and	insipid	.	unfortunately	,	it's	not	bad	in	the	way	great	,	colossal	misfires	like	"	heaven's	gate	"	(	1980	)	or	"	ishtar	"	(	1987	)	were	bad	.	instead	,	it	literally	drips	off	the	screen	like	a	movie	nobody	wanted	to	be	associated	with	,	which	begs	the	question	of	why	it	was	made	in	the	first	place	.	with	all	the	good	scripts	lying	around	hollywood	un	produced	,	how	does	needless	drek	like	this	make	its	way	to	the	big	screen	?	of	course	,	tarzan	is	one	of	the	most	filmed	characters	in	all	of	motion	picture	history	he	has	appeared	in	over	forty	films	,	which	have	ranged	from	the	very	good	(	1984's	"	greystoke	:	the	legend	of	tarzan	,	lord	of	the	apes	"	)	down	to	the	really	bad	(	1981's	"	tarzan	,	the	ape	man	"	with	bo	derek	)	.	most	of	these	films	were	just	cheapie	b	movies	made	in	the	thirties	and	forties	,	starring	ex	olympic	athletes	and	a	lot	of	cutsie	chimps	.	therefore	,	if	another	tarzan	movie	is	to	be	made	,	one	might	assume	that	it	would	have	something	new	to	offer	a	different	angle	,	an	original	storyline	,	anything	to	set	it	apart	from	all	the	others	.	"	greystoke	"	added	a	never	before	seen	level	of	realism	to	the	pulpy	tale	,	and	even	"	tarzan	,	the	ape	man	"	at	least	had	the	mis	guided	audacity	to	sexualize	the	story	as	a	vehicle	for	bo	derek's	bare	breasts	.	"	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	,	"	on	the	other	hand	,	has	absolutely	nothing	to	offer	but	a	bunch	of	recycled	storylines	and	bad	dialogue	.	the	script	,	by	bayard	johnson	and	j	.	anderson	black	is	about	as	formulaic	and	generic	as	they	come	.	comic	books	have	better	plots	than	this	.	the	movie	is	so	bad	,	in	fact	,	that	it	retains	that	ridiculous	tarzan	call	that	was	so	tirelessly	mocked	in	last	summer's	comedy	"	george	of	the	jungle	.	"	didn't	the	producers	think	to	leave	that	back	in	the	old	weissmuller	pictures	where	it	belongs	?	the	story	starts	with	the	legend	of	tarzan	already	firmly	established	:	a	quick	opening	narration	tells	of	tarzan	(	casper	van	dien	)	being	found	in	the	jungle	after	having	been	raised	by	apes	,	and	his	return	to	england	where	he	assumes	his	greystoke	heritage	.	when	the	movie	starts	in	1913	,	he	is	a	civilized	english	gentleman	(	without	an	english	accent	)	,	and	he	is	to	marry	jane	(	jane	march	)	in	less	than	a	week	.	however	,	when	a	wicked	archeologist	grave	robber	named	nigel	ravens	(	steve	waddington	)	begins	hunting	for	the	fabled	lost	city	of	opar	,	one	of	africa's	last	great	secrets	,	the	witch	doctor	of	an	ancient	african	tribe	summons	tarzan	back	to	the	jungle	.	at	first	,	jane	refuses	to	go	,	pouting	about	how	it	will	interfere	with	their	wedding	;	but	after	tarzan	leaves	she	changes	her	mind	and	tracks	him	down	,	therefore	assuring	lots	of	lame	smooch	scenes	between	her	and	her	ape	man	.	once	the	film	gets	going	(	in	its	own	sluggish	way	)	,	it	delves	into	a	series	of	jungle	adventures	,	as	tarzan	,	jane	,	and	the	natives	attempt	the	thwart	ravens	and	his	crew	from	discovering	the	city	.	most	of	the	so	called	adventures	are	cheesy	,	predictable	,	and	unexciting	,	with	no	pace	,	tension	,	or	action	to	speak	of	.	there	are	sequences	stolen	from	innumerable	recent	adventure	movies	,	ranging	from	"	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	"	(	1981	)	to	"	the	goonies	"	(	1985	)	.	when	the	movie	is	running	short	on	action	,	it	includes	a	few	greenpeace	friendly	scenes	of	tarzan	freeing	caged	animals	,	releasing	a	baby	elephant	from	a	trap	,	and	throwing	ivory	tusks	into	the	river	.	the	movie	is	also	lacking	even	a	remote	hint	of	reality	.	for	instance	,	when	tarzan	who	was	raised	in	the	jungle	is	bit	by	a	cobra	,	he	doesn't	even	attempt	to	suck	the	venom	out	like	any	semi	experienced	weekend	backpacker	would	do	.	instead	,	he	ties	a	tourniquet	around	his	arm	and	stumbles	off	into	the	jungle	with	no	plan	for	survival	.	of	course	,	one	can't	help	but	notice	how	fundamentally	misleading	the	title	is	.	not	to	ruin	the	ending	or	anything	,	but	there	is	no	lost	city	.	there	is	,	however	,	a	lost	pyramid	,	which	i	suppose	is	all	the	resource	strapped	fx	department	could	come	up	with	(	the	special	effects	are	not	worthy	of	a	made	for	tv	movie	)	.	which	also	brings	up	the	question	of	why	the	treasure	hunters	had	to	slog	through	numerous	underground	caverns	to	get	to	the	lost	pyramid	,	when	it's	sitting	right	out	in	the	middle	of	an	open	field	?	strictly	speaking	,	"	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	"	isn't	even	bad	enough	to	have	camp	quality	,	although	casper	van	dien's	laughably	stiff	performance	comes	real	close	.	this	movie	proves	what	"	starship	troopers	"	only	hinted	at	:	he	cannot	act	,	but	he	sure	looks	well	groomed	,	even	in	the	deepest	heart	of	the	african	jungle	.	van	dien	is	much	too	much	of	a	pretty	boy	to	be	an	effective	tarzan	;	he's	a	calvin	klein	model	in	a	loin	cloth	.	i	also	wondered	what	the	make	up	department	was	thinking	when	it	outfitted	him	with	that	awful	circa	1983	steve	perry	haircut	.	waddington	makes	a	decent	villain	,	although	he's	like	a	charmless	version	of	belloq	from	"	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	.	"	as	jane	,	the	ex	model	jane	march	has	little	to	do	but	smile	and	look	pretty	next	to	tarzan	.	she	does	fire	off	a	gun	at	the	evil	treasure	hunters	a	time	or	two	,	but	whenever	a	snake	comes	into	the	picture	,	she	is	reduced	to	a	hysterical	mess	.	however	,	amidst	all	this	complaining	,	i	do	have	one	piece	of	good	news	.	"	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	"	is	so	lacking	in	ideas	both	new	and	old	,	that	it	is	unable	to	fill	even	an	hour	and	a	half	of	celluloid	.	so	,	we	can	say	this	much	for	it	:	at	least	it	had	the	decency	to	be	short	.
neg	terra	nova	(	r	)	.	(	dendy	)	director	:	paul	middleditch	stars	:	jeanette	cronin	,	paul	kelman	,	angela	punch	mcgregor	,	trent	atkinson	,	teo	gebert	,	ritchie	singer	,	vince	jones	,	gillian	jones	running	time	:	87	minutes	.	an	unrelentingly	grim	,	bleak	and	depressing	film	,	terra	nova	is	almost	the	cinematic	equivalent	of	listening	to	an	album	of	leonard	cohen's	most	mournful	songs	.	new	zealand	born	director	paul	middleditch	makes	his	feature	debut	with	this	confronting	and	down	beat	story	of	a	disturbed	young	mother	attempting	to	overcome	enormous	odds	and	strike	out	on	her	own	.	following	a	bout	of	post	natal	depression	,	ruth	(	jeanette	cronin	,	who	had	small	roles	in	black	rock	and	dark	city	,	etc	)	has	been	confined	to	a	psychiatric	institution	by	her	domineering	parents	.	one	night	she	surreptitiously	returns	to	her	parents'	house	to	take	her	four	year	old	daughter	tuesday	away	with	her	.	arriving	in	australia	,	ruth	finds	a	temporary	haven	at	terra	nova	,	a	dilapidated	beach	side	boarding	house	run	by	the	sympathetic	margie	(	angela	punch	mcgregor	,	in	the	role	for	which	she	was	nominated	for	an	afi	award	in	1998	)	.	however	,	the	creaky	old	house	and	its	small	contingent	of	hopeless	and	destitute	residents	is	no	real	place	in	which	to	raise	a	young	daughter	.	reluctantly	,	ruth	leaves	tuesday	in	the	care	of	dud	(	trent	atkinson	)	,	a	sensitive	teenage	artist	,	who	shares	a	room	with	his	older	brother	simon	(	paul	kelman	,	a	veteran	of	several	local	tv	series	)	.	simon	is	also	sleeping	with	margie	in	lieu	of	paying	rent	.	on	the	first	day	,	while	ruth	is	out	looking	for	work	,	her	flat	is	burgled	by	warren	(	teo	gumbert	,	from	the	boys	,	etc	)	,	the	schizophrenic	neo	nazi	.	simon	leaps	to	her	defence	and	batters	warren	senseless	.	when	he	also	begins	an	affair	with	ruth	,	the	tensions	in	the	boarding	house	increase	.	eventually	some	harsh	truths	about	the	residents	and	their	pasts	are	revealed	.	this	is	a	cold	,	unsettling	and	alienating	film	.	middleditch's	insights	into	his	characters	are	rather	naive	,	and	their	complex	relationships	don't	always	ring	true	.	he	doesn't	allow	the	audience	an	opportunity	to	make	any	sort	of	identification	or	emotional	connection	with	the	characters	and	their	plight	.	cronin	struggles	to	make	the	enigmatic	ruth	a	sympathetic	heroine	,	while	kelman	brings	a	volatile	edge	to	his	performance	.	mcgregor	dominates	the	film	with	a	superb	performance	that	perfectly	captures	margie's	air	of	weariness	.	terra	nova	is	not	a	film	that	audiences	will	embrace	with	any	sort	of	warmth	or	enthusiasm	.	the	film	deals	with	themes	of	loss	,	loneliness	,	failure	,	and	is	suffused	with	an	air	of	despair	and	desperation	.	a	motif	of	water	continually	runs	throughout	the	film	,	although	the	imagery	is	often	allusive	and	bewildering	.	terra	nova	is	also	terribly	dull	and	painfully	slow	moving	.	the	film	is	primarily	shot	in	cold	grey	colours	,	which	adds	to	the	oppressive	and	claustrophobic	atmosphere	.	nonetheless	,	cinematographer	simon	arnold	creates	some	powerful	and	evocative	imagery	along	the	way	.	in	some	ways	,	terra	nova	invites	comparisons	to	the	recent	praise	,	another	local	production	also	set	in	a	decrepit	boarding	house	.	whereas	john	curran	imbued	that	film	with	a	streak	of	optimism	and	albeit	black	humour	,	here	middleditch	offers	little	relief	along	the	way	.	when	ruth	finally	gathers	the	courage	to	leave	this	bleak	house	it	is	far	too	late	,	as	most	of	the	audience	will	have	despaired	of	a	happy	ending	long	ago	.
neg	honey	,	i	blew	up	the	kid	(	1992	)	1	2	.	directed	by	randal	kleiser	.	written	by	thom	eberhardt	,	peter	elbling	,	garry	goodrow	.	cinematography	,	john	hora	.	production	design	,	leslie	dilley	.	cast	:	daniel	and	joshua	shalikar	,	rick	moranis	,	marcia	strassman	,	robert	oliveri	,	amy	o'neill	,	lloyd	bridges	et	al	.	a	walt	disney	release	.	89	minutes	.	rated	pg	.	a	honey	of	a	movie	?	not	.	its	predecessor	,	"	honey	,	i	shrunk	the	kids	,	"	was	far	richer	in	possibilities	,	suspense	,	plot	,	characters	and	humor	.	had	the	filmmakers	kept	faith	with	the	original's	grammar	,	the	sequel	would	have	been	titled	"	honey	,	i	blown	up	the	kid	.	"	but	nobody	cares	about	tradition	these	days	.	it's	all	about	adam	,	played	by	the	shalikar	twins	who	are	variously	reported	as	2	or	2	1	2	years	old	.	it	depends	,	i	suppose	,	from	whether	you	count	the	age	at	the	start	or	the	end	of	the	filming	.	accidentally	zapped	by	a	special	ray	,	adam	becomes	larger	each	time	he	is	exposed	to	an	electromagnetic	force	field	.	in	stages	,	he	reaches	112	feet	at	least	that's	what	the	press	release	says	a	world	record	for	a	human	.	the	previous	champion	i	could	locate	was	"	the	amazing	colossal	man	,	"	only	60	feet	tall	.	the	ray's	inventor	is	wayne	szalinski	,	adam's	dad	.	he	is	once	again	played	by	rick	moranis	as	a	hyper	type	and	a	super	high	tech	rube	goldberg	.	he	looks	dim	and	is	inept	with	simple	daily	chores	.	welcome	back	to	the	old	cliche	about	the	absent	minded	professor	,	the	spacey	scientist	or	the	intellectual	discombobulated	by	"	real	"	life	.	(	a	lot	of	strange	people	are	named	wayne	these	days	,	in	movies	)	.	"	honey	2	"	is	a	single	joker	,	whereas	"	honey1	"	had	variety	.	the	spanish	saying	"	if	you	lie	down	with	babies	,	you	wake	up	wet	"	applies	here	.	if	your	entire	movie	is	about	a	colossal	kid	,	there's	little	you	can	do	except	follow	him	with	the	camera	,	hope	for	the	best	and	try	to	be	flexible	,	fitting	whatever	baby	does	to	your	framework	.	as	adam's	size	increases	so	does	the	movie's	yawn	quotient	.	two	feeble	mini	subplots	wayne's	nasty	superior	,	adam's	older	brother	and	a	babysitter	are	of	small	help	.	the	film	does	very	little	with	people	,	context	or	dialogue	.	it's	all	about	special	effects	and	adam's	"	ooh	,	aah	"	cuteness	.	big	deal	.	adam	doesn't	say	much	either	.	a	little	eve	would	have	been	more	interesting	,	since	girls	seem	to	develop	speech	faster	.	i	retained	just	one	nice	,	throwaway	conceit	and	two	good	lines	.	the	szalinskis'	suburb	in	desert	surrounded	las	vegas	is	called	"	vista	del	mar	"	(	"	sea	view	"	)	.	the	sentences	,	funny	in	context	,	are	:	"	there's	no	way	i'm	changing	those	diapers	"	and	"	look	at	that	mother	!	"	the	special	effects	bring	modern	techniques	to	the	venerable	screen	genres	about	gigantic	people	,	animals	or	prehistoric	creatures	,	whose	size	was	caused	by	arrested	evolution	,	encounters	with	aliens	,	nuclear	radiation	and	such	.	some	of	those	pictures	became	classics	,	like	"	the	lost	world	"	(	1924	)	or	,	better	yet	,	"	king	kong	"	with	all	its	mythological	,	freudian	or	sociological	implications	.	sometimes	,	as	in	"	the	attack	of	the	50	ft	.	woman	,	"	the	movies	dreadful	enough	to	become	howls	.	"	honey	2	"	is	neither	campy	,	droll	,	or	suspenseful	.	you	know	that	no	harm	will	come	to	the	child	,	that	adam	will	do	only	material	damage	,	and	that	he	will	get	back	to	regulation	size	at	the	end	.	i	heard	just	one	big	laugh	from	the	audience	,	and	this	from	an	adult	.	the	many	children	in	the	theater	were	quiet	throughout	.	confused	by	the	sights	?	by	the	technobabble	?	overawed	?	plain	bored	?	nowadays	even	the	best	special	effects	seldom	impress	the	public	.	we	take	movie	magic	for	granted	.	it	is	no	longer	like	earlier	periods	when	giant	squids	,	invisible	men	or	lilliputians	took	the	spectators'	breath	away	and	had	them	asking	each	other	:	"	how	did	they	do	it	?	"	in	the	small	part	of	a	laboratory	watchman	is	redhead	ken	tobey	,	that	likable	second	shelf	actor	,	who	,	as	kenneth	tobey	,	had	his	hour	of	glory	when	he	played	the	lead	in	the	classic	sci	fi	horror	"	the	thing	"	of	1951	.	nice	to	see	him	again	.	it's	a	small	bonus	for	aficionados	clutching	at	straws	.
neg	last	summer	,	a	feature	length	version	of	the	avengers	hit	theaters	to	the	tune	of	a	unanimous	critical	panning	.	based	on	the	famous	60's	television	show	,	the	film	was	an	enormous	box	office	flop	and	a	huge	disappointment	for	warner	bros	.	a	year	later	,	the	studio	is	up	to	their	old	tricks	again	,	with	the	unnecessary	revival	of	the	robert	conrad	program	the	wild	,	wild	west	.	but	it	sounded	promising	:	the	same	tag	team	of	star	will	smith	and	director	barry	sonnenfeld	,	who	both	contributed	to	make	men	in	black	such	a	financial	success	,	is	at	the	reins	again	.	and	co	star	kevin	kline	is	attached	to	the	project	,	as	well	as	a	substantial	budget	to	spice	up	the	special	effects	.	i	mean	,	what	could	possibly	go	wrong	?	the	answer	is	just	about	everything	.	wild	wild	west	is	a	cinematic	abomination	a	film	that	was	so	entirely	pointless	to	begin	with	that	it	is	never	given	a	proper	chance	to	get	out	of	the	gate	.	there	are	a	lot	of	fancy	special	effects	,	and	a	handful	of	distinguished	actors	who	try	desperately	to	tunnel	through	the	inane	plot	and	make	a	lasting	impression	.	but	the	script	is	so	deliriously	uneven	,	the	entire	movie	so	off	course	,	that	no	human	being	or	technical	achievement	has	a	chance	to	salvage	it	.	at	square	one	,	we	have	a	bizarre	case	of	casting	.	will	smith	plays	james	west	,	a	renegade	cowboy	who	was	originally	played	by	white	actor	robert	conrad	in	the	tv	series	.	my	guess	regarding	the	casting	of	african	american	smith	is	a	simple	one	:	the	actor	a	cozy	summertime	release	big	bucks	for	all	those	involved	.	smith	is	a	very	talented	performer	who	usually	brings	swift	assurance	to	any	comic	relief	material	,	but	this	is	not	an	ideal	role	for	him	.	he's	too	much	of	a	joker	.	i	heard	that	initial	casting	included	george	clooney	in	the	lead	role	,	and	frankly	,	that	sounds	a	lot	more	plausible	.	what	makes	matters	worse	is	that	smith	goes	through	the	role	with	such	self	assurance	in	his	eyes	;	you	can	practically	sense	his	contentment	with	the	fact	that	he	knows	wild	wild	west	will	be	a	huge	hit	at	the	summer	box	office	.	the	plot	involves	west	and	cross	dressing	government	agent	artemus	gordon	(	kevin	kline	)	,	who	are	assigned	by	the	president	to	recover	a	group	of	kidnapped	scientists	.	the	trail	leads	to	the	diabolical	dr	.	arliss	loveless	(	kenneth	branagh	)	,	a	man	with	no	lower	body	who	speaks	in	a	dry	,	witty	southern	accent	.	loveless	has	taken	the	country's	top	technical	minds	hostage	so	that	they	can	assist	in	his	deranged	plan	of	total	government	control	,	using	lethal	superweapons	to	destroy	entire	towns	.	one	such	weapon	is	an	80	foot	mechanical	tarantula	,	bearing	eight	spindly	legs	of	thrashing	metal	and	spewing	enormous	fireballs	left	and	right	.	the	visual	effects	that	bring	this	metallic	bug	to	life	are	spectacular	,	seamlessly	blending	computer	generated	imagery	with	the	western	surroundings	.	unfortunately	,	all	of	these	effects	seem	so	detached	from	the	story	,	and	can	do	little	to	support	the	film's	plot	deficiencies	,	which	are	undoubtedly	the	main	problem	.	wild	wild	west	is	a	running	gag	that	never	truly	works	.	most	of	the	jokes	,	usually	care	of	smith	,	die	on	arrival	.	if	it's	one	thing	that	could	possibly	be	the	saving	grace	,	it's	the	performances	,	and	even	they	are	mostly	off	kilter	and	poorly	delivered	.	kline	is	admirable	,	but	he	has	little	to	do	but	invent	silly	devices	on	the	spot	.	salma	hayek	is	wasted	as	the	romantic	interest	,	because	she	is	viewed	as	little	more	than	that	window	dressing	to	look	pretty	and	create	conflict	between	west	and	gordon	.	branagh	,	an	esteemed	shakespearean	actor	and	director	,	adds	marginal	enjoyment	to	the	film	.	but	even	he	is	so	utterly	weird	and	over	the	top	.	rarely	is	a	film	so	lost	in	itself	as	wild	wild	west	is	.	i	suppose	there's	always	one	turkey	of	the	summer	season	;	a	highly	anticipated	,	big	budget	release	that	manages	to	completely	disappoint	.	wild	wild	west	is	such	a	movie	,	and	will	probably	go	down	as	one	of	the	biggest	disappointments	of	1999	.	but	it	is	highly	unlikely	that	this	will	go	down	in	defeat	at	the	box	office	.	perhaps	after	this	,	audiences	will	be	less	assured	when	they	see	will	smith's	name	stamped	on	a	summer	movie	.	after	such	hits	as	independence	day	and	mib	,	wild	wild	west	is	not	an	impressive	addition	to	the	resume	.
neg	directed	by	:	john	ottman	written	by	:	silvio	horta	,	paul	harris	boardman	,	scott	derrickson	the	events	of	the	first	"	urban	legends	"	film	have	become	urban	legends	themselves	.	the	only	person	still	hanging	around	to	talk	about	them	is	the	security	guard	,	reese	(	loretta	devine	)	.	she's	now	at	a	different	school	,	but	the	same	thing	seems	to	be	happening	again	.	this	time	,	film	student	amy	mayfield	(	jennifer	morrison	)	is	making	a	movie	about	the	killer	from	the	first	movie	.	professor	solomon	(	hart	bochner	)	encourages	her	to	proceed	,	as	does	her	friend	and	fellow	student	film	director	,	travis	stark	(	matthew	davis	)	.	so	,	gathering	a	crew	of	film	students	,	she	sets	about	making	her	movie	.	there's	just	one	problem	,	a	real	serial	killer	has	started	wiping	out	her	cast	.	amy's	theory	is	that	it's	another	film	student	who	is	seeking	to	kill	all	competition	for	the	much	coveted	alfred	hitchcock	award	.	the	award	includes	a	large	sum	of	cash	,	and	a	chance	to	direct	a	real	motion	picture	in	hollywood	.	now	amy	and	her	friends	have	to	find	out	who	the	killer	is	before	she	runs	out	of	crew	members	.	could	it	be	graham	(	joey	lawrence	)	,	the	student	making	another	slasher	movie	?	or	how	about	toby	(	anson	mount	)	,	the	slightly	off	kilter	sound	guy	.	of	course	,	the	real	mystery	is	to	find	out	if	anyone	really	cares	.	hah	!	sorry	,	that	just	slipped	out	.	truth	be	told	,	i	couldn't	help	but	laugh	at	this	stupid	movie	.	i	think	i	would	have	lost	my	mind	if	i	hadn't	.	"	urban	legends	:	final	cut	"	is	such	a	ridiculously	stupid	movie	you'll	probably	spend	half	your	time	staring	blankly	at	the	screen	,	shocked	that	this	thing	ever	got	the	green	light	.	i	personally	stumbled	out	of	the	theater	searching	vainly	for	something	strong	to	drink	.	"	ulfc	"	will	appeal	to	one	group	,	those	who	love	mindless	,	cookie	cutter	teen	slasher	movies	.	all	the	rest	of	us	will	react	with	varying	degrees	of	disgust	.	at	first	i	was	actually	willing	to	brush	the	film	off	with	a	two	star	rating	for	being	yet	another	stupid	,	harmless	slasher	movie	.	then	it	did	something	flat	out	insulting	.	the	writers	had	the	gall	to	talk	about	hitchcock	in	this	film	.	they	dared	to	compare	this	piece	of	garbage	to	the	master	in	any	way	?	i	think	that's	punishable	by	death	in	some	states	(	or	if	it	isn't	,	it	certainly	should	be	)	.	i	can	picture	the	master	right	now	,	rolling	in	his	grave	at	the	thought	of	his	name	being	thrown	about	in	some	cheesy	teen	movie	.	it's	enough	to	make	on	violently	ill	.	the	cast	in	"	ulfc	"	is	full	of	your	traditional	teen	movie	stars	.	you	know	the	type	,	people	who	are	nice	to	look	at	but	don't	have	anything	even	remotely	resembling	talent	.	first	up	is	jennifer	morrison	(	"	stir	of	echoes	"	)	.	comely	?	yes	.	talented	?	far	from	it	.	she	seems	to	have	been	educated	at	the	jennifer	lopez	school	for	acting	,	where	students	are	taught	that	talking	softly	makes	you	appear	to	have	acting	skills	.	next	we've	got	matthew	davis	,	making	his	first	(	and	hopefully	last	)	appearance	in	a	feature	film	.	i	think	matthew	was	educated	at	the	freddie	prinze	school	for	acting	.	there	they	teach	students	to	say	little	,	but	occasionally	smile	slightly	at	the	camera	so	all	the	girls	in	the	audience	can	swoon	.	he	should	get	a	refund	,	because	i	didn't	hear	any	girls	swooning	.	the	talented	anthony	anderson	(	"	me	,	myself	,	and	irene	"	)	makes	an	appearance	as	the	school's	film	geek	,	but	he	has	hardly	any	screen	time	.	he	does	get	one	of	the	film's	few	truly	funny	scenes	however	.	the	remaining	actors	fall	into	the	"	don't	care	who	they	are	or	what	they've	done	"	category	,	with	the	exception	of	jessica	cauffiel	(	last	seen	destroying	her	boyfriend's	car	in	"	road	trip	"	)	.	jessica	does	a	great	job	playing	a	girl	who	can't	act	.	take	that	in	whatever	context	you'd	like	.	much	as	i'd	like	to	blame	john	ottman	for	this	movie	i	can't	.	why	do	i	want	to	blame	him	?	well	,	i'm	more	than	a	little	irritated	with	him	for	giving	up	composing	(	he	composed	the	great	theme	to	the	equally	great	"	the	usual	suspects	"	)	so	he	could	direct	a	movie	like	this	.	no	,	all	the	blame	can	rest	firmly	on	the	shoulders	of	the	film's	three	writers	(	another	bad	movie	with	multiple	writers	.	what	is	this	?	)	.	this	script	is	so	insipidly	stupid	it	doesn't	deserve	to	be	analyzed	,	but	i'm	going	to	anyway	.	first	of	all	,	the	title	makes	no	sense	.	granted	,	the	characters	are	making	a	movie	about	the	first	"	urban	legends	"	film	,	but	the	killer	doesn't	kill	based	on	urban	legends	(	except	for	the	first	victim	,	but	that	was	the	movie's	only	somewhat	interesting	scene	)	.	second	,	the	mystery	element	is	terrible	.	it's	painfully	obvious	who	the	killer	is	.	i	won't	say	here	of	course	,	but	if	you	don't	figure	it	out	you	must	have	been	asleep	(	not	that	i	can	blame	you	for	that	.	wish	i'd	fallen	asleep	)	.	third	,	the	movie	is	more	predictable	than	than	i	can't	even	think	of	a	comparison	.	you	know	exactly	who	is	going	to	die	from	the	first	ten	minutes	of	the	movie	.	finally	,	the	script	borrows	from	everything	.	from	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	,	from	ever	slasher	film	ever	made	,	even	from	"	the	usual	suspects	"	(	at	least	there	was	a	scene	that	had	a	usual	suspects	feel	to	it	)	.	okay	,	now	that	i've	ground	another	movie	into	the	dirt	and	spit	on	it	,	i	guess	i	should	make	note	of	the	film's	good	points	(	this	won't	take	long	)	.	there	is	one	good	gore	scene	for	all	the	gore	lovers	out	there	.	anthony	anderson	does	have	a	few	funny	moments	.	that	about	does	it	.	one	thing	that	really	shocked	me	was	that	we	had	a	serial	killer	dressed	in	fencing	garb	(	or	at	least	the	mask	)	and	we	didn't	get	one	"	en	garde	"	or	"	touche	"	.	that	just	shows	lack	of	ability	on	the	parts	of	the	writers	(	hah	!	as	though	everything	else	didn't	)	.	the	film's	score	is	decent	enough	,	and	big	surprise	,	it's	by	john	ottman	.	"	urban	legends	:	final	cut	"	runs	100	minutes	,	which	is	about	an	hour	and	a	half	too	long	.	at	one	point	the	characters	say	that	the	question	was	asked	,	"	is	film	more	important	than	life	?	"	whoever	asked	that	obviously	never	saw	this	movie	.	i	recommend	"	ulfc	"	to	those	strange	people	who	love	cliche	ridden	,	predictable	teen	slasher	movies	,	but	to	no	one	else	.	i	give	the	film	one	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	oh	!	before	i	forget	,	the	film	does	contain	one	legitimate	scare	:	it	leaves	itself	open	for	a	sequel	.	be	afraid	,	be	very	afraid	.	comments	?	send	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	past	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	a	one	of	the	best	movies	of	the	year	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	at	your	own	risk	.	see	this	one	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	hr	get	your	private	,	free	e	mail	from	msn	hotmail	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	a	share	information	about	yourself	,	create	your	own	public	profile	at	a	href	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	a
neg	(	1996	)	1	2	c	:	tom	arnold	,	david	paymer	,	rod	steiger	,	rhea	perlman	.	keep	in	mind	that	this	film	is	directed	by	arthur	hiller	,	the	man	who	is	the	president	of	the	motion	picture	academy	.	the	man	who	theoretically	should	have	seen	every	good	movie	made	since	his	term	of	office	began	.	the	man	who	directed	the	hilarious	alan	arkin	peter	falk	comedy	"	the	in	laws	"	and	also	such	acclaimed	films	as	"	love	story	"	and	"	the	hospital	"	.	keep	in	mind	that	the	film's	producer	,	arnon	milchan	,	has	produced	some	of	the	best	films	in	the	last	fifteen	years	,	such	as	"	the	king	of	comedy	"	,	"	jfk	"	,	and	"	falling	down	"	.	with	such	experience	,	these	men	know	exactly	what	makes	a	movie	great	.	which	is	why	it's	so	shocking	that	"	carpool	"	is	a	truly	horrible	mess	.	the	plot	is	extremely	simple	.	as	a	matter	of	fact	,	the	plot	is	beyond	simple	.	tom	arnold	robs	a	gourmet	pastry	shop	,	kidnaps	david	paymer	and	takes	his	minvan	,	only	to	discover	that	paymer	was	driving	the	neighborhood	kids	to	school	.	and	for	the	rest	of	the	film	they	have	to	not	get	caught	by	the	seattle	police	,	who	are	portrayed	as	the	most	inept	police	force	on	the	planet	.	what's	so	troublesome	about	the	film	is	that	it's	"	pg	"	.	it's	meant	to	be	a	kids	film	.	but	there	are	things	in	this	film	that	are	completely	inappropriate	for	kids	.	there	are	gay	jokes	,	jokes	about	breast	enlargement	,	young	teenage	boys	grabbing	and	feeling	young	teenage	girls	,	and	other	such	things	.	also	,	tom	arnold	is	portrayed	as	a	hero	and	the	cops	,	of	course	,	are	idiots	.	good	message	for	the	children	.	and	the	worst	thing	about	the	film	,	regardless	of	what	kinds	of	jokes	there	are	,	they	just	aren't	funny	,	no	matter	how	old	you	are	.	the	crowd	in	the	theater	when	i	saw	the	film	laughed	once	,	and	that	was	when	a	kid	stuck	a	gummi	bear	up	his	nose	.	comedy	gold	to	little	kids	you	know	.	there	were	one	or	two	lines	in	the	film	which	i	found	humorous	,	but	certainly	not	enough	to	carry	the	entire	film	.	there's	one	ridiculous	thing	about	a	scene	in	the	film	i'd	like	to	comment	on	(	there	are	many	actually	,	but	i	just	don't	have	that	kind	of	time	to	comment	on	all	of	them	)	.	at	one	point	the	"	good	guys	"	are	at	a	carnival	,	fleeing	from	the	bad	guys	.	one	of	the	kids	is	riding	a	ferris	wheel	and	someone	bumps	a	lever	and	the	ferris	wheel	starts	to	spin	dangerously	fast	.	and	of	course	they	have	to	save	the	kid	.	now	,	why	would	an	amusement	park	ride	have	a	setting	on	it	which	would	never	be	used	and	is	certain	to	cause	death	?	just	a	thought	.	now	i	need	to	justify	why	i	saw	this	film	.	the	only	reason	i	watched	it	was	because	my	favorite	actor	,	rod	steiger	,	was	in	it	.	arthur	hiller	was	smart	enough	to	get	an	actor	he's	worked	with	in	the	past	(	1976's	"	w	.	c	.	fields	and	me	"	)	and	then	not	smart	enough	to	give	him	anything	to	do	.	he's	in	the	last	five	minutes	of	the	film	and	he	does	a	good	job	as	always	with	what	he's	given	,	but	it's	just	not	enough	.	and	hiller	should	be	beaten	for	actually	putting	steiger	in	a	clown	outfit	at	the	end	and	having	him	sell	doughnuts	at	a	carnival	.	booooooooooo	mr	.	hiller	.	at	one	point	in	the	film	,	david	paymer	says	to	someone	"	this	isn't	funny	"	.	mr	.	paymer	,	you're	exactly	right	.	chuck	dowling	visit	chuck's	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	over	1	,	500	movies	rated	and	or	reviewed	!	movie	news	,	box	office	reports	,	film	related	links	,	and	reader's	polls	and	reviews	.
neg	one	might	expect	a	cathartic	viewing	experience	walking	into	a	new	jean	luc	godard	film	.	after	all	,	he	was	a	founding	member	of	the	highly	influential	french	new	wave	.	he	is	also	an	esteemed	film	critic	,	lending	intelligence	and	historical	perspective	to	us	in	much	of	his	writing	.	however	,	his	latest	creation	,	in	praise	of	love	,	is	possibly	the	most	exasperating	film	experience	of	the	year	.	the	abstract	concept	on	which	the	film	is	based	had	merit	,	to	dissect	love	into	the	following	four	categories	:	meeting	,	physical	passion	,	quarrels	,	and	reconciliation	.	these	four	universal	truths	would	be	revealed	through	three	different	couples	:	young	,	adult	,	and	elderly	.	it	is	edgar's	(	bruno	putzulu	)	self	appointed	task	to	capture	these	moments	after	a	recent	breakup	,	to	define	a	central	idea	:	"	it's	only	when	things	are	over	that	they	make	sense	.	"	whether	this	project	will	end	up	a	play	,	film	,	or	opera	remains	undecided	.	the	thesis	is	simple	enough	that	,	if	played	right	,	it	could	really	hold	sympathetic	value	for	anyone	.	instead	what	ensues	is	an	hour	and	a	half	of	repetitive	vignettes	,	the	next	scene	no	more	engaging	than	the	last	.	only	once	does	any	character	utter	something	worthwhile	,	but	by	the	time	it	happens	you're	so	thoroughly	bored	you	can	easily	miss	it	.	but	don't	fret	,	it	will	surface	again	.	you	could	easily	sleep	through	whole	sections	of	the	film	(	as	some	fellow	critics	did	)	and	wake	up	in	a	scene	exactly	like	the	one	you	nodded	off	in	,	not	having	missed	anything	worthwhile	.	but	you	hold	hope	for	some	time	.	the	background	music	keeps	you	in	a	state	of	urgency	,	and	even	suspense	,	for	the	first	few	conversations	.	it's	only	after	repeated	failures	to	pay	any	of	this	off	that	you	lose	all	hope	.	and	with	speeches	like	,	"	i	am	thinking	of	something	,	but	i	can	only	think	of	that	something	when	i	am	thinking	of	something	else	,	"	how	can	you	expect	to	hold	anyone's	interest	?	to	godard's	credit	,	he	certainly	knows	how	to	frame	a	scene	.	the	black	and	white	footage	used	for	the	first	half	of	the	film	is	starkly	beautiful	.	watching	edgar	read	while	walking	along	a	train	track	on	a	mountain	makes	you	wish	you	had	something	to	ponder	along	with	him	.	and	if	this	film	had	anything	poignant	to	say	,	you	would	have	,	which	makes	you	all	the	angrier	at	the	numerous	missed	opportunities	.	the	environments	,	be	it	city	or	country	,	are	impeccably	captured	in	crisp	detail	,	but	the	script	never	complements	them	.	unfortunately	,	godard	also	manages	to	pillage	his	photographic	eye	by	randomly	cutting	to	black	numerous	times	within	any	given	scene	.	sometimes	these	breaks	are	used	for	chapter	headings	,	but	these	are	even	more	cryptic	than	the	spoken	words	.	the	second	half	is	composed	of	nauseating	hyper	color	that	often	blurs	the	image	.	you	suddenly	feel	like	a	doomed	character	straight	out	of	scanners	.	the	only	scene	that	makes	any	sense	is	one	that	complains	about	the	united	states	bastardizing	history	in	the	making	of	movies	.	steven	spielberg	is	picked	on	in	particular	.	while	i'll	grant	that	this	does	happen	,	and	i	tend	to	shy	away	from	watching	such	garbage	,	it's	still	a	pointless	focus	for	a	film	that	purports	to	articulate	the	specific	qualities	of	couplehood	.	it	just	goes	to	show	,	an	intelligent	person	isn't	necessarily	an	admirable	storyteller	.	the	days	of	breathless	are	no	more	.
neg	one	of	my	favorite	songs	by	the	stranglers	includes	the	lyric	,	"	you'd	better	watch	out	for	the	skin	deep	.	"	i'd	like	to	extend	the	same	warning	:	watch	out	for	skin	deep	,	but	whatever	you	do	don't	watch	skin	deep	.	skin	deep	is	a	tedious	and	uneven	comedy	written	and	directed	by	blake	edwards	.	john	ritter	stars	as	zach	,	a	dried	up	writer	and	insatiable	womanizer	with	a	big	time	drinking	problem	.	i	never	saw	edwards'	comedy	the	man	who	loved	women	,	but	i	have	to	wonder	whether	skin	deep	is	a	remake	.	you	see	,	to	put	it	mildly	,	zach	goes	to	bed	with	just	about	each	and	every	woman	he	meets	.	as	the	movie	opens	,	zach's	wife	,	alex	,	catches	him	with	not	only	his	mistress	but	also	his	mistress'	hairdresser	.	like	any	sensible	wife	,	alex	kicks	zach	out	of	the	house	and	divorces	him	.	in	response	,	zach	goes	on	a	spiritual	journey	of	drinking	,	womanizing	,	psychotherapy	,	and	self	discovery	.	if	you're	turned	on	by	the	idea	of	watching	ritter	drink	,	get	arrested	,	have	sex	,	drink	,	crash	his	mercedes	,	have	more	sex	,	drink	,	get	arrested	again	,	drink	,	and	sing	horrendously	at	the	piano	,	then	skin	deep	should	be	right	up	your	alley	.	skin	deep	makes	the	fatal	mistake	of	inflicting	on	us	unbelievable	and	unsympathetic	characters	.	zach	is	a	rich	,	'80s	l	.	a	.	version	of	ritter's	jack	tripper	character	from	"	three's	company	.	"	like	jack	,	zach	is	clumsy	and	inept	;	he's	the	type	of	guy	whose	bad	aim	makes	him	accidently	squirt	breath	freshener	into	his	eye	.	zach	is	supposed	to	be	charming	and	charismatic	,	but	i	failed	to	see	even	one	redeeming	virtue	in	him	.	consequently	,	i	never	felt	the	least	bit	of	sympathy	or	pity	for	the	philandering	alcoholic	during	his	moments	of	crisis	.	in	fact	,	when	zach	crashes	his	ex	wife's	wedding	in	a	desperate	attempt	to	stop	her	from	remarrying	,	i	actually	rooted	for	her	to	go	through	with	the	ceremony	.	to	add	insult	to	injury	,	edwards	gives	his	large	supporting	cast	nothing	but	stereotypes	with	which	to	work	.	for	instance	,	vincent	gardenia's	talents	are	wasted	in	his	role	as	the	fatherly	bartender	.	of	all	the	women	in	the	film	and	there	are	many	alyson	reed	,	alone	,	stands	out	as	zach's	wife	;	reed	brings	intelligence	and	sensitivity	to	the	role	.	because	we	don't	care	the	slightest	bit	about	anyone	in	skin	deep	,	the	film's	few	feeble	attempts	at	drama	inevitably	fail	.	the	comedy	in	skin	deep	doesn't	fare	much	better	.	most	of	the	jokes	are	dumb	,	predictable	,	and	sitcomish	.	about	every	ten	minutes	,	however	,	edwards	does	manage	to	come	up	with	a	good	line	or	a	novel	sight	gag	,	the	most	effective	of	which	involves	a	pair	of	"	dueling	"	condoms	.	overall	,	the	laughs	in	skin	deep	are	just	too	infrequent	and	the	characters	just	too	shallow	for	the	film	to	stay	afloat	.	my	final	criticism	of	the	film	lies	in	its	glamorous	depiction	of	alcohol	and	alcoholism	.	zach's	excessive	drinking	is	clearly	ruining	his	life	,	but	nevertheless	it	seems	to	give	him	more	pleasure	than	pain	.	zach's	drinking	binges	never	have	any	truly	serious	or	lasting	consequences	.	if	he	crashes	his	mercedes	,	he	gets	a	new	one	.	if	he	gets	arrested	,	his	lawyer	bails	him	out	of	jail	.	if	his	wife	leaves	him	,	she	will	eventually	decide	to	give	him	a	second	chance	if	he'll	clean	up	his	act	.	the	tone	in	skin	deep	is	all	wrong	;	edwards	treats	a	very	serious	issue	far	too	lightly	,	making	a	joke	out	of	a	problem	that	is	no	joking	matter	.	perhaps	edwards	should	have	studied	dudley	moore	in	arthur	or	,	better	yet	,	michael	keaton	in	clean	and	sober	before	making	skin	deep	.
neg	be	warned	.	.	brit	love	story	in	the	offing	.	effeminate	,	mild	mannered	karl	is	about	to	take	a	beatng	from	a	bunch	of	ruffians	at	school	as	he	bathes	himself	under	a	shower	,	his	genitals	tucked	between	his	legs	in	the	manner	of	a	posing	transvestite	.	he	is	only	just	saved	by	prentice	,	who	appears	in	all	respects	barring	his	protective	attitude	towards	karl	to	be	your	average	street	wise	punk	in	the	making	.	the	ensuing	scene	ends	up	with	both	boys	being	ridiculed	and	then	unfairly	expelled	from	the	school	.	they	do	not	see	each	other	for	another	eighteen	yeas	.	in	that	time	,	prentice	has	matured	into	a	somewhat	loveable	,	if	brash	and	bull	heaed	goon	who	screws	up	his	jobs	and	relationships	while	gamely	clinging	onto	perennial	adolescence	via	lether	jackets	,	motorcycles	and	punk	rock	music	.	karl	,	on	the	other	hand	,	has	grown	up	to	become	kim	,	a	drabby	,	insecure	woman	who	works	as	a	verse	writer	for	a	greeting	card	company	.	chance	brings	the	two	together	,	and	love	,	such	as	will	inevitably	blossom	in	your	quirky	british	romantic	comedy	,	is	what	this	skewed	little	story	is	largely	about	.	if	at	this	point	you	think	you're	going	to	get	any	cheap	laughs	with	that	gender	bending	theme	(	see	the	birdcage	,	to	wong	foo	.	.	.	,	priscilla	queen	of	the	desert	)	,	you	can	just	go	home	and	brood	on	your	own	maladjusted	sexuality	you	low	life	deadbeat	.	kim	is	a	post	operative	transsexual	,	thank	you	very	much	.	.	.	a	new	born	woman	for	all	purposes	,	with	confusions	and	sensitivities	that	deserve	treatment	with	a	touch	of	delicacy	.	personally	,	give	me	those	cheap	laughs	any	day	.	i'd	rather	enjoy	obvious	camp	than	endure	the	shallow	exploration	of	a	soft	hearted	transsexual	love	story	.	different	for	girls	comes	up	with	a	promising	enough	proposition	,	but	does	nothing	that	surpasses	the	merely	workmanlike	with	it	.	by	refusing	to	make	the	audience	really	uncomfortable	with	the	notion	of	kim	and	prentice's	relation	ship	,	or	at	the	very	least	feel	uncomfortable	for	them	(	prentice	for	example	,	doesn't	seem	to	give	hiself	all	that	much	grief	when	he	becomes	attracted	to	kim	despite	being	a	fight	picking	,	beer	drinking	,	macho	kind	of	guy	,	and	kim	,	for	all	her	insecurities	and	fears	is	always	saved	any	truly	disturbing	victimisation	in	the	film	)	,	and	instead	drawing	them	into	a	basically	wimpy	love	story	,	the	film	manages	to	lobotomise	itself	.	lightweight	comedy	as	it's	doomed	to	be	,	it	could've	still	have	hacked	it	with	the	requisitive	endearing	couple	.	but	this	doesn't	either	,	since	even	mrs	doubtfire	is	sexier	than	steven	mackintosh's	kim	foyle	,	and	as	either	sex	,	he's	just	plainly	a	simpering	wanker	nobody	should	like	.	prentice	does	though	,	and	that's	never	explained	.	but	then	rupert	graves	gives	us	so	heroic	performance	as	prentice	,	the	guy	who	never	grew	up	(	and	if	there	is	a	bafta	prize	for	most	convincing	portrayal	of	a	rabid	fan	at	a	buzzcocks'	concert	,	he	should	win	that	too	)	that	i	guess	there's	no	reason	to	explain	why	he's	so	screwed	up	.	if	oddly	enough	you	grow	to	like	this	show	,	you'll	be	wanting	your	happy	ending	,	and	the	film	won't	fail	you	there	either	.	snide	underling	at	kim's	office	gets	her	come	uppance	.	misogynistic	police	officer	who	beats	up	prentice	gets	his	come	uppance	.	the	couple	prevail	against	a	disagreeable	society	and	come	together	in	kim's	apartment	.	kim's	sister	and	her	impotent	sarge	type	husband	kiss	and	make	up	after	a	tiff	(	tv	movie	sub	plot	with	incidental	juxtaposition	)	.	and	best	of	all	,	kim	sheds	her	insecurities	and	learns	how	to	ride	the	motorcycle	and	wear	leathers	,	making	prentice	ride	pilion	.	awwww	.	terrific	closure	.	happy	ending	.	but	just	what	is	it	that's	differnt	for	girls	anyway	?	if	you	figure	that	one	out	,	let	me	know	.	the	flying	inkpot	rating	system	:	wait	for	the	tv2	broadcast	.	a	little	creaky	,	but	still	better	than	staying	at	home	with	gotcha	!	pretty	good	,	bring	a	friend	.	amazing	,	potent	stuff	.	perfection	.	see	it	twice	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	for	reviews	of	the	latest	films	,	concerts	,	album	releases	,	books	and	plays	in	singapore	,	swing	by	a	href	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	hr	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	hr	a
neg	maybe	this	mission	should	have	been	scrubbedthere's	a	world	of	difference	between	artists	and	technicians	.	the	artist	has	a	vision	to	create	something	new	.	he	may	not	do	it	well	,	it	might	be	sloppy	,	but	it's	something	you've	never	seen	before	.	a	good	technician	can	make	it	look	good	,	but	without	direction	from	his	own	inner	artist	or	someone	else	,	it's	going	to	be	just	a	xerox	.	obviously	successful	films	need	both	skills	.	brian	de	palma	is	a	masterful	technician	.	he's	spent	his	career	copying	others	,	most	notably	hitchcock	.	he	usually	knows	exactly	what	to	do	to	make	a	scene	work	,	but	only	because	he	has	learned	it	by	rote	.	aside	from	rare	flashes	of	originality	,	his	films	are	often	soul	dead	.	in	de	palma's	latest	,	he	turns	his	attention	to	stanley	kubrick	.	to	tell	the	truth	,	i	enjoyed	portions	of	this	movie	,	but	i	liked	it	a	lot	better	over	30	years	ago	when	it	was	called	"	2001	"	.	i	enjoyed	it	even	more	when	it	was	titled	"	close	encounters	"	.	nasa	has	set	its	sights	for	mars	.	when	the	first	crew	meets	with	disaster	,	a	rescue	mission	is	sent	to	the	red	planet	.	they	don't	do	so	well	either	,	but	eventually	meet	up	the	lone	surviving	astronaut	gone	rasta	and	solve	the	mysteries	of	the	universe	.	and	it's	all	so	boring	.	there	are	so	many	scenes	that	just	don't	work	,	it's	difficult	to	begin	.	when	the	first	crew	is	a	few	feet	away	from	a	raging	massive	upside	down	martian	tornado	(	which	looks	remarkably	like	a	sandworm	from	"	dune	"	)	destroying	everything	in	its	path	,	they	just	hang	out	watching	.	error	.	the	most	interesting	character	(	and	that's	not	saying	much	)	is	killed	off	.	error	.	the	alien	is	laughable	.	error	.	the	rest	of	the	characters	are	the	dullest	people	imaginable	.	error	.	there's	some	nice	eyecandy	.	the	face	on	mars	,	which	turns	out	to	be	a	giant	metal	thai	buddha	head	,	looks	cool	.	a	three	dimensional	holographic	planetarium	is	more	fun	to	watch	than	anything	at	disney	world	.	maneuvering	in	space	suits	outside	the	ship	seems	realistic	.	but	there's	so	much	more	that	feels	as	if	we've	been	there	before	.	from	"	2001	"	,	there's	the	rotating	space	station	,	the	blinding	white	room	.	from	"	close	encounters	"	,	they	solve	a	sound	puzzle	and	play	it	to	the	aliens	.	the	list	goes	on	.	the	actors	are	mostly	mobile	wooden	statues	.	even	gary	sinise	and	tim	robbins	can't	muster	enough	emotion	to	convince	us	they	are	breathing	.	no	one	seems	to	care	about	anything	that	happens	.	you	won't	either	.	the	absolutely	worst	sin	is	the	blatant	product	placement	as	dr	.	pepper	,	with	a	20	foot	tall	logo	,	saves	the	day	.	they	should	save	the	commercials	for	those	insipid	bits	before	the	film	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	since	before	mars	was	discovered	and	if	that	planet	is	as	exciting	as	this	film	,	he	thinks	he'll	just	stay	home	.	email	your	martian	chronicles	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	"	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	a	)	this	appeared	in	the	3	16	2000	"	bloomington	independent	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	"	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	a	film	reviews	archive	:	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	a	month	ago	i	wrote	that	speed	2	was	the	worst	film	i've	ever	reviewed	on	paper	.	i	didn't	know	at	the	time	that	i'd	soon	encounter	and	despise	batman	robin	,	which	has	just	overtaken	speed	2	as	the	picture	least	worthy	of	your	attention	this	summer	.	as	directed	by	joel	schumacher	(	who	now	specializes	in	batman	sequels	and	john	grisham	adaptations	and	isn't	very	good	at	either	)	,	b	r	is	one	long	excuse	for	a	taco	bell	promotion	.	the	plot	,	which	has	mr	.	freeze	and	poison	ivy	(	uma	thurman	)	planning	to	take	over	gotham	city	and	then	"	the	vorld	"	(	as	an	oddly	ineffective	schwarzenegger	states	)	,	is	weighted	down	by	repetitive	asides	about	the	nature	of	trust	,	partnership	,	blah	,	blah	,	blah	.	but	morals	are	not	the	point	of	this	film	topping	each	bloated	,	confusing	action	scene	with	next	one	is	.	the	garish	art	direction	and	overlit	cinematography	make	this	picture	oddly	comparable	to	the	trashy	showgirls	.	since	when	did	gotham	city	become	a	giant	las	vegas	hotel	?	only	george	clooney	comes	out	on	top	;	he	underplays	nicely	and	pretends	like	he's	in	a	real	movie	.	(	out	of	four	)
neg	senseless	(	r	)	1	2	(	out	of	)	marlon	wayans	is	a	very	talented	physical	comedian	,	and	it	is	that	gift	that	brings	senseless	moments	of	life	.	alas	,	moments	are	simply	that	,	moments	,	which	are	not	enough	to	lift	this	fantasy	comedy	above	its	one	joke	premise	.	granted	,	that	one	joke	is	initially	amusing	.	when	wayans's	darryl	witherspoon	,	an	economics	major	at	stratford	university	,	hits	some	dire	financial	straits	,	he	becomes	a	guinea	pig	for	a	experimental	drug	that	heightens	all	five	senses	.	after	some	initial	side	effects	and	problems	controlling	his	superhuman	senses	,	darryl	learns	to	enjoy	the	benefits	of	his	abilities	and	uses	them	to	land	a	position	at	a	highly	esteemed	corporate	firm	.	at	this	point	,	the	film	sounds	more	like	senseful	than	senseless	,	but	through	some	turns	of	the	plot	,	darryl	finds	himself	only	able	to	use	four	of	his	five	senses	at	once	,	essentially	leaving	him	yes	senseless	.	this	sets	up	some	showcase	moments	for	wayans's	gift	for	physical	comedy	,	especially	when	darryl	loses	his	sense	of	feeling	and	his	body	goes	completely	,	hilariously	limp	.	but	these	gags	,	and	the	gag	behind	the	entire	movie	,	quickly	grows	stale	.	once	darryl	is	shown	without	the	use	of	all	of	the	senses	,	instead	of	exploring	any	new	comic	territory	,	director	penelope	spheeris	and	screenwriters	greg	erb	and	craig	mazin	take	the	easy	way	out	and	simply	recycle	each	form	of	senselessness	.	wayans	approaches	each	go	round	with	gusto	,	but	by	this	point	he's	simply	treading	water	for	the	rest	of	the	film's	unfunny	duration	.	senseless	would	not	be	as	problematic	as	it	is	if	it	didn't	strive	to	be	anything	more	than	a	comic	trifle	.	however	,	the	raucous	and	often	raunchy	comedy	is	wrapped	in	a	blanket	of	bogus	sincerity	.	darryl	goes	through	the	experiment	in	order	to	help	his	cash	strapped	family	,	and	this	"	serious	"	angle	seems	to	come	from	an	entirely	different	movie	.	unlike	wayans's	last	starring	vehicle	,	the	surprisingly	effective	(	and	serious	)	the	6th	man	,	the	"	emotional	"	content	of	senseless	is	forced	and	unconvincing	.	any	attempt	at	anything	more	substantial	than	broad	comedy	fizzles	darryl's	romance	with	janice	(	tamara	taylor	)	,	a	young	woman	who	yearns	for	a	man	who	is	true	to	himself	,	does	not	generate	sparks	of	any	kind	.	once	his	wb	television	sitcom	the	wayans	bros	.	comes	to	an	end	,	the	genuinely	funny	marlon	wayans	has	a	promising	big	screen	future	ahead	of	him	.	but	if	he	continues	to	associate	himself	with	projects	as	flat	as	senseless	,	his	film	career	could	go	the	way	of	his	once	promising	older	brother	,	damon	,	who	is	now	set	to	make	his	comeback	on	television	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	wallpapers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	rich	guy	who	doesn't	believe	in	love	,	orders	a	mail	order	bride	for	himself	.	that	very	evening	,	the	couple	is	married	and	fall	madly	in	love	soon	thereafter	.	but	what's	this	?	one	of	them	might	not	be	the	person	they	are	pretending	to	be	?	wow	.	.	.	a	sin	,	indeed	.	critique	:	easily	one	of	the	worst	movies	that	i've	seen	all	year	.	too	long	,	too	boring	,	too	predictable	and	too	ridiculous	for	anyone	interested	in	watching	a	good	movie	.	what	the	hell	were	they	thinking	when	they	made	this	thing	?	(	it's	no	wonder	that	the	film	has	been	sitting	on	the	racks	for	about	a	year	)	this	felt	like	a	really	bad	tv	movie	of	the	week	,	with	some	nudity	stuffed	in	from	time	to	time	,	just	to	wake	up	the	audience	.	have	you	ever	switched	channels	and	fallen	upon	one	of	those	ridiculously	melodramatic	tv	movies	,	one	that	you	just	couldn't	help	but	switch	back	to	from	time	to	time	,	just	to	make	sure	that	it	wasn't	part	of	some	sick	joke	?	well	,	this	movie	is	exactly	like	that	,	only	it	isn't	a	joke	,	it	isn't	on	tv	and	you	are	asked	to	pay	money	to	see	it	!	!	i	say	again	.	.	.	what	the	shite	were	they	thinking	?	okay	,	so	where	do	i	start	?	first	of	all	,	the	trailer	of	this	film	gives	away	the	movie's	main	plot	twist	,	the	betrayal	.	so	for	the	first	half	hour	of	the	film	,	you're	basically	just	sitting	there	,	watching	these	two	"	lovers	"	go	through	the	motions	until	the	"	betrayal	"	occurs	.	whoopee	,	big	surprise	.	second	of	all	,	angelina	jolie	is	horribly	miscast	in	this	part	.	why	?	well	,	it's	like	this	:	not	for	one	second	do	you	ever	believe	that	she	is	not	a	nasty	backstabbing	woman	!	i	mean	,	it's	like	all	of	those	people	who	complained	about	jack	nicholson	being	psycho	from	the	start	of	the	shining	,	well	,	the	same	goes	here	.	every	look	in	jolie's	eyes	screams	"	psycho	"	!	then	of	course	,	you	have	the	case	of	the	"	patsy	"	husband	,	a	man	who	just	can't	seem	to	figure	out	anything	in	time	.	i	mean	.	.	.	how	boring	is	that	for	the	audience	?	you're	watching	this	guy	screw	up	time	after	time	after	time	,	and	somehow	,	we're	supposed	to	feel	sorry	or	care	about	this	dude	.	no	,	thanks	!	and	if	we	don't	care	about	him	,	and	we	really	don't	care	about	her	(	she's	a	beeyatch	and	as	confused	as	we	are	about	her	actual	motivations	in	the	film	)	,	who	the	hell	are	we	supposed	to	care	about	in	this	film	?	well	,	i'll	tell	you	.	the	only	thing	that	i	was	worrying	about	the	whole	way	through	this	picture	was	whether	or	not	i'd	actually	fall	asleep	before	the	end	credits	rolled	.	no	suspense	,	no	chemistry	between	the	leads	,	no	real	love	or	passion	,	no	sense	of	surprise	,	plenty	of	plot	holes	for	everyone	and	an	extra	moronic	ending	.	so	why	am	i	even	giving	this	film	a	rating	of	three	points	?	well	,	it's	actually	pretty	simple	.	i	liked	the	locations	in	the	movie	and	the	groovy	score	,	but	my	primary	reason	for	slipping	three	notches	onto	this	bedpost	is	for	the	gratuitous	shots	of	jolie's	boobies	(	that's	two	points	right	there	!	)	and	another	one	for	antonio's	ass	(	hairless	,	just	for	the	record	)	.	everything	else	in	this	movie	was	pointless	,	boring	and	just	plain	stupid	.	try	imagining	a	soft	porn	movie	.	.	.	but	without	the	plot	!	that's	pretty	much	what	you've	got	here	.	a	low	point	in	the	careers	of	both	stars	.	oops	,	i	almost	forgot	to	mention	the	crappy	dialogue	.	.	.	god	oh	mighty	.	.	.	make	it	stop	!	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	american	psycho	(	9	10	)	cruel	intentions	(	8	10	)	eyes	wide	shut	(	6	10	)	fatal	attraction	(	8	10	)	playing	by	heart	(	7	10	)	under	suspicion	(	7	10	)	what	lies	beneath	(	8	10	)	what	women	want	(	4	10	)	whipped	(	7	10	)
neg	directed	by	jonathan	frakes	.	cast	:	patrick	stewart	,	jonathan	frakes	,	levar	burton	,	brent	spiner	,	michael	dorn	,	donna	murphy	,	gates	mcfadden	,	marina	sirtis	,	f	.	murray	abraham	,	anthony	zerbe	.	1998	103	minutes	.	rated	pg	(	for	mild	violence	)	.	reviewed	december	13	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	mailto	:	filmfan16	aol	.	com	"	filmfan16	aol	.	com	a	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a	i	have	never	been	a	"	star	trek	"	fan	,	and	,	to	tell	the	truth	,	out	of	the	five	films	in	the	series	that	i	have	seen	(	1	,	2	,	3	,	8	,	9	)	,	i	have	disliked	all	of	them	.	i	do	,	however	,	always	go	into	one	of	these	with	an	open	mind	,	and	the	ninth	film	in	the	series	,	"	star	trek	:	insurrection	,	"	is	no	exception	.	dropping	almost	completely	the	hard	core	sci	fi	element	of	the	previous	one	in	the	series	,	"	first	contact	,	"	"	insurrection	,	"	tells	the	story	of	a	planet	that	holds	only	600	people	,	known	as	the	ba'ku	,	as	well	as	the	fountain	of	youth	.	at	the	start	of	the	picture	,	the	villagers	go	under	attack	by	a	second	alien	species	,	known	as	the	son'a	,	who	want	to	push	all	of	the	ba'ku	out	so	that	their	own	race	will	not	die	out	.	also	attacking	the	ba'ku	is	data	(	brent	spiner	)	,	a	robot	from	the	star	trek	enterprise	.	after	returning	to	jean	luc	picard	(	patrick	stewart	)	and	the	gang	on	their	space	ship	,	no	one	can	understand	why	data	was	somehow	taken	over	by	another	force	.	so	several	of	the	star	trek	members	travel	down	to	the	planet	of	the	ba'ku	,	where	picard	meets	up	and	starts	to	fall	in	love	with	one	of	the	inhabitants	,	a	sultry	,	kind	alien	woman	(	donna	murphy	)	,	who	is	over	six	hundred	years	old	,	but	looks	to	only	be	in	her	thirties	.	"	star	trek	:	insurrection	,	"	is	a	completely	unoriginal	and	cheap	looking	installment	in	the	series	,	and	is	a	big	step	down	from	,	1996's	"	first	contact	,	"	which	at	least	appeared	to	try	to	make	something	a	bit	different	.	in	,	"	insurrection	,	"	however	,	it	plays	like	a	low	rent	episode	of	the	television	show	,	due	to	the	small	scale	,	generic	storyline	,	and	an	emphasis	on	one	liners	rather	than	excitement	.	the	film	was	filled	with	nearly	non	stop	comedy	,	and	worse	yet	,	most	of	it	fell	flatter	than	a	cartoon	character	that	drops	off	a	cliff	.	meanwhile	,	when	there	were	action	sequences	,	they	were	not	at	all	interesting	or	inventive	,	relying	on	that	old	reliable	ticking	timer	that	counts	down	very	,	very	slowly	.	this	plot	device	,	which	is	seen	in	just	about	every	action	film	made	nowadays	,	is	getting	old	fast	.	are	filmmakers	so	bankrupt	of	ingenuity	and	ideas	that	they	must	always	have	a	timer	ticking	away	during	the	climax	?	another	element	of	,	"	star	trek	,	"	films	in	general	is	that	picard	seems	to	always	have	to	have	a	love	interest	,	but	then	she	always	miraculously	disappears	when	the	next	film	is	made	two	or	three	years	later	.	although	donna	murphy	,	who	falls	victim	to	this	thankless	love	interest	role	here	,	is	actually	one	of	the	few	characters	that	we	get	to	know	in	the	103	minute	running	time	,	alfre	woodard	was	far	superior	in	,	"	first	contact	.	"	she	should	have	returned	for	this	one	,	but	i	don't	blame	her	for	not	wanting	to	waste	her	time	with	this	movie's	disappointing	and	often	lifeless	screenplay	,	by	michael	piller	.	"	star	trek	:	insurrection	,	"	is	perhaps	the	weakest	film	in	the	"	star	trek	,	"	series	,	although	i	have	not	seen	what	is	widely	considered	the	worst	,	"	star	trek	v	:	the	final	frontier	.	"	"	insurrection	,	"	is	the	type	of	"	safe	"	sequel	that	will	bewilder	non	fans	,	since	it	is	so	low	tech	compared	to	most	of	today's	blockbuster	action	films	(	although	most	of	these	are	honestly	not	very	good	,	either	)	,	and	should	disappoint	the	loyal	trekkies	,	since	it	could	have	easily	been	better	if	the	makers	had	realized	that	the	screenplay	needed	to	go	through	a	few	more	drafts	.	on	second	thought	,	they	probably	should	have	completely	thrown	the	script	out	.	that	way	,	they	could	have	come	up	with	a	story	that	at	least	had	a	sign	of	intelligence	and	freshness	.
neg	(	tv	1993	)	1	2	c	:	bokeem	woodbine	,	michael	biehn	,	craig	wasson	.	yet	another	in	a	long	line	of	"	hood	"	movies	,	and	this	one	is	just	as	bad	as	the	rest	.	"	strapped	"	tells	us	the	story	of	diquan	,	a	teenaged	ex	con	with	a	heart	made	of	gold	and	a	mind	made	of	cheese	.	diquan	has	a	pregnant	girlfriend	and	a	steady	job	as	a	delivery	boy	.	then	,	his	girlfriend	is	arrested	for	selling	crack	(	for	the	third	time	)	and	she's	facing	a	long	stretch	in	jail	.	so	,	you	know	,	he's	got	to	do	whatever	it	takes	to	get	the	bail	money	for	her	.	this	means	he's	got	to	sell	guns	to	ten	year	old	kids	.	any	sympathy	i	might	have	had	for	this	character	was	gone	after	that	.	then	there's	"	the	man	"	,	a	white	police	officer	(	biehn	)	who	wants	to	help	diquan	get	his	girl	out	of	jail	if	he'll	give	him	information	as	to	who's	selling	guns	on	the	streets	to	ten	year	old	kids	.	of	course	"	whitey	"	is	the	bad	guy	here	,	wanting	to	get	those	guns	off	the	streets	and	all	,	sheesh	.	so	anyway	,	by	the	end	of	the	film	diquan	is	facing	with	his	toughest	decision	,	should	he	save	his	crack	dealing	girl	or	should	he	save	his	gun	selling	buddy	.	instead	he	cops	out	and	comes	up	with	the	most	ridiculous	solution	,	which	then	renders	the	entire	film	as	being	completely	pointless	.	first	time	director	forest	whitaker	does	an	impressive	job	with	the	film	.	it's	a	very	well	made	movie	,	except	that	every	ten	minutes	or	so	the	action	is	interrupted	by	a	few	seconds	of	the	main	character	jumping	up	and	down	while	listening	to	rap	music	.	the	problem	here	is	with	the	script	.	first	,	you've	got	no	one	to	like	here	.	you	keep	trying	to	like	biehn's	character	but	the	film	keeps	telling	you	not	to	,	cause	he's	"	whitey	"	.	and	diquan	keeps	an	attitude	about	him	like	"	yeah	?	so	what	if	she	was	selling	crack	?	she's	pregnant	!	let	her	out	!	"	also	,	the	whole	entire	movie	is	basically	slang	,	and	it's	very	difficult	to	understand	.	for	example	,	diquan's	heartfelt	comments	to	a	friend	of	his	that	he	sees	shoot	another	kid	:	"	yo	man	you	whacked	!	"	touching	.	but	,	there	is	an	appearance	by	the	fat	kid	from	"	lean	on	me	"	,	so	you	make	up	your	own	minds	.	"	strapped	"	was	made	for	hbo	.	have	a	question	or	comment	?	email	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	southeast	.	net	"	chuckd21	southeast	.	net	a	chuck	dowling	visit	chuck's	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	over	1	,	500	movies	rated	and	or	reviewed	!	movie	news	,	box	office	reports	,	film	related	links	,	and	reader's	polls	and	reviews	.
neg	written	by	nicholas	niciphor	.	directed	by	alan	smithee	.	starring	christopher	atkins	,	amanda	peterson	,	mary	frann	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	,	nudity	,	and	profanity	)	90	mins	.	synopsis	:	valerie	,	a	high	school	junior	who	doesn't	look	a	day	under	22	,	writes	bad	poetry	,	complains	about	how	much	she	hates	school	,	fantasizes	about	a	young	guy	on	trial	for	raping	and	murdering	six	women	,	chooses	him	as	a	pen	pal	,	and	plays	hooky	to	see	him	in	court	.	after	a	jailbreak	,	the	killer	puts	on	big	sunglasses	,	wears	a	half	buttoned	jacket	,	and	uses	his	fatal	charm	to	go	after	valerie	.	comments	:	"	alan	smithee	"	directed	fatal	charm	,	which	should	have	been	more	appropriately	titled	"	fatal	bore	"	or	"	fatal	crap	"	.	if	you	find	out	that	a	film	you're	about	to	see	is	directed	by	"	alan	smithee	,	"	then	you	should	seriously	,	seriously	,	seriously	consider	watching	something	,	anything	,	else	.	"	alan	smithee	"	is	a	pseudonym	which	a	number	of	directors	have	used	when	they	produce	something	really	bad	.	frankly	,	i'd	be	embarrassed	if	i	had	directed	this	turkey	,	so	i	think	i	understand	why	the	director	might	have	picked	the	"	alan	smithee	"	moniker	for	this	film	.	where	to	begin	with	this	painfully	poor	thriller	?	let's	start	with	the	acting	.	it's	pretty	bad	.	amanda	peterson	plays	valerie	and	shows	at	least	some	talent	(	the	rest	of	the	cast	don't	)	,	even	though	her	performance	isn't	exactly	stellar	material	.	she's	also	miscast	;	she	seems	way	too	old	to	still	have	a	year	of	high	school	to	complete	.	her	scenes	with	valerie's	mother	,	played	by	mary	frann	,	are	a	joke	.	the	two	look	as	though	they're	a	couple	of	coworkers	going	out	to	lunch	together	,	rather	than	a	daughter	with	her	mother	who	just	doesn't	understand	.	christopher	atkins	,	a	handsome	enough	actor	who	plays	the	killer	,	adam	,	looks	like	a	clown	in	the	second	half	of	fatal	charm	.	trying	to	appear	malicious	and	dangerous	,	he	wears	large	sunglasses	and	a	half	buttoned	jacket	.	if	disney	decided	to	do	a	zany	comedy	caper	about	the	unabomber	,	atkins	would	probably	be	a	perfect	candidate	for	the	lead	,	but	he	doesn't	cut	it	here	.	early	on	in	the	movie	,	a	number	of	scenes	occurs	in	a	courtroom	.	outside	of	the	laughably	poor	performances	given	by	the	actors	portraying	lawyers	,	the	people	sitting	in	the	benches	provide	the	silliest	effort	at	drama	in	the	film	.	they	constantly	shift	and	turn	and	arc	their	heads	in	mock	interest	in	what	has	got	to	be	one	of	the	worst	perfomances	that	a	large	group	of	people	have	given	at	one	time	ever	.	fatal	charm's	storyline	,	such	as	it	is	,	inspires	more	yawns	than	thrills	.	the	script	belabors	a	red	herring	,	early	on	,	about	a	second	suspect	who	may	have	committed	the	murders	for	which	adam	(	atkins	)	is	charged	with	.	this	suspect	,	however	,	turns	up	strangled	and	drowned	halfway	through	the	film	:	an	obvious	plot	fault	.	even	for	the	idiots	who	didn't	consider	the	movie's	title	as	valerie	and	a	blond	newsreporter	commented	how	innocent	and	charming	the	defendant	seemed	,	it	becomes	quite	obvious	that	adam	is	dangerous	when	the	other	suspect	washes	up	.	so	,	the	audience	must	wait	(	if	they	haven't	already	stopped	watching	)	as	the	necessary	details	fall	into	place	and	the	killer	goes	after	the	heroine	in	the	drawn	out	finale	.	the	video	box	for	this	dud	describes	fatal	charm	as	an	"	erotic	thriller	"	.	a	thriller	it	isn't	,	and	neither	is	it	particularly	erotic	.	i	can't	imagine	,	if	someone	were	in	the	mood	for	something	"	erotic	,	"	that	he'd	be	happy	after	watching	this	fluff	.	a	few	erotic	moments	occur	in	the	film	;	they	take	place	in	a	van	with	little	lighting	and	are	filmed	out	of	focus	(	see	,	they're	supposed	to	be	valerie's	fantasies	how	creative	)	.	on	a	personal	note	,	i	was	disturbed	by	the	ludicrous	english	literature	class	shown	in	this	film	which	valerie	had	to	suffer	through	.	it's	no	wonder	why	she	hated	high	school	so	much	.	as	an	instructor	of	english	myself	,	i	have	a	hard	time	accepting	the	fact	that	in	a	course	emphasizing	great	literature	,	a	teacher	would	stoop	to	reading	a	student's	bad	poetry	(	of	course	,	it's	valerie's	)	about	boyfriends	out	loud	and	then	embarassing	its	author	in	front	of	class	with	questions	about	the	poem's	inspiration	.	i	guess	the	public	school	system	is	still	setting	dubious	standards	for	its	students	.	fatal	charm	won't	charm	anyone	,	unless	there's	someone	that's	charmed	by	boring	,	lifeless	,	insipid	,	suspenseless	thrillers	.	if	you	happen	upon	this	turkey	,	just	keep	moving	on	.
neg	in	one	of	the	most	hyped	films	of	the	past	decade	,	armageddon	is	a	mega	bust	.	a	disaster	flick	that	is	a	disaster	on	every	level	.	not	even	bruce	willis	can	save	this	expensive	,	incoherent	,	derivative	mess	.	following	in	the	superior	deep	impact's	heels	,	armageddon	tells	the	mudding	tale	of	an	asteroid	the	size	of	texas	on	a	collision	course	with	earth	.	the	film	fails	to	mention	how	this	particular	hunk	of	space	rock	was	detected	by	nasa	,	or	even	the	inept	script	hole	that	shows	a	u	.	s	.	spacecraft	being	obliterated	in	orbit	by	a	comet	shower	,	followed	by	the	destruction	of	manhattan	.	oops	.	nasa	couldn't	see	that	?	i	guess	when	you	are	billy	bob	thornton	(	playing	a	nasa	official	)	,	you	kinda	wonder	how	such	a	wonderful	actor	as	yourself	is	reduced	to	rubish	like	armageddon	.	willis	plays	harry	stamper	,	"	the	world's	best	oil	driller	,	"	who	is	called	into	action	(	just	like	it	die	hard	,	mercury	rising	,	die	hard	2	!	)	.	i	have	no	idea	why	harry	,	and	his	retarted	group	of	drillers	,	are	called	for	a	job	that	if	failed	,	would	mean	the	end	of	life	as	we	know	it	.	i	guess	it	would	seem	cooler	to	have	a	bunch	of	dudes	rescuing	us	from	complete	death	and	destruction	than	some	smart	,	well	mannered	scientist	cume	amercian	hero	.	the	dvd	of	the	movie	is	okay	.	it	contains	a	trailer	,	i	believe	a	commentary	(	i	was	so	looking	forward	to	taking	this	disc	out	of	my	machine	,	i	didn't	notice	)	,	and	some	other	mumbo	jumbo	.	the	soundtrack	is	wide	and	good	,	but	,	like	the	cast	,	this	disc	is	just	worthless	.
neg	a	movie	laced	with	a	good	blend	of	action	,	comedy	,	and	a	heavy	dose	of	musical	celebrity	guest	appearances	sounds	pretty	gourmet	,	but	even	the	best	ingredients	can	be	thrown	together	in	the	wrong	way	,	creating	a	dismal	and	unsatisfactory	product	.	eighteen	years	after	the	blues	brothers	hit	theaters	,	blues	brothers	2000	is	being	unleashed	,	minus	half	of	its	original	duo	(	the	late	john	belushi	)	and	nearly	all	of	its	original	charm	.	dan	aykroyd	reprises	his	role	(	as	well	as	his	co	writing	credit	)	as	elwood	blues	,	the	sharp	dressed	con	man	who	wreaked	havoc	on	a	self	proclaimed	"	mission	from	god	"	along	with	his	brother	jake	and	their	blues	brothers	band	nearly	eighteen	years	ago	.	as	we	begin	,	elwood	is	being	released	from	a	state	penitentiary	along	with	the	news	of	his	brother's	death	in	prison	years	ago	.	completely	on	his	own	,	elwood	decides	to	trace	his	roots	back	to	the	orphanage	where	he	spent	his	childhood	,	only	to	discover	that	everyone	he	has	ever	known	has	passed	away	.	but	elwood	isn't	completely	without	family	.	it	seems	he	has	a	half	brother	of	sorts	not	a	real	brother	mind	you	,	just	the	illegitimate	child	of	his	bluesman	pseudo	father	curtis	(	cab	calloway	from	the	first	film	)	,	who	has	also	passed	on	.	despite	inklings	from	mother	superior	mary	stigmata	(	kathleen	freeman	)	to	do	otherwise	,	elwood	seeks	out	his	only	remaining	family	in	an	effort	to	start	up	an	all	new	blues	brothers	band	.	working	as	a	police	commander	,	cabel	chamberlain	(	joe	morton	)	,	has	an	immediate	disliking	for	elwood	,	who	nonchalantly	fills	cab	in	on	his	mother's	affair	years	ago	and	then	goes	on	to	steal	his	wallet	.	following	elwood	around	is	the	lonely	orphan	buster	(	j	.	evan	bonifant	)	,	who	quickly	learns	to	become	a	mini	elwood	.	when	bartender	mighty	mack	mcteer	(	john	goodman	)	joins	the	group	,	the	blues	brothers	band	is	complete	,	and	once	again	,	the	group	travels	the	country	,	crashing	cars	,	blowing	things	up	,	and	obstructing	peace	with	more	than	just	solid	blues	rock	.	meanwhile	,	cab's	personal	vendetta	against	elwood	leads	him	on	an	impassioned	manhunt	for	his	next	to	next	of	kin	.	from	this	point	,	the	movie	turns	into	a	series	of	music	videos	with	a	few	bits	of	acting	in	between	.	those	hoping	for	an	interesting	and	or	funny	yarn	are	given	too	many	musical	interludes	while	those	heavily	interested	in	the	music	are	given	too	much	of	a	story	.	only	the	extremely	avid	blues	fans	should	attempt	getting	thru	these	two	hours	.	for	those	people	,	it	may	be	worth	it	,	for	luckily	there	is	much	more	music	than	shoddy	attempts	at	acting	,	but	when	the	story	does	intrude	upon	the	festivities	,	the	film	is	heavily	bogged	down	with	unfunny	jokes	,	musicians	turned	stiff	actors	,	and	the	pointless	10	year	old	buster	attempting	to	add	some	sort	of	home	alone	cuteness	to	the	whole	thing	.	appearances	by	musical	legends	such	as	aretha	franklin	,	james	brown	,	eric	clapton	,	and	a	whole	slew	of	others	are	the	high	points	of	the	film	,	but	they	also	confirm	why	these	people	are	musicians	and	not	actors	.	blues	brothers	2000	is	deserving	of	one	whole	star	simply	because	if	you	really	,	really	love	this	kind	of	music	,	you	might	kind	of	,	sort	of	like	this	movie	.	many	,	many	scenes	are	nauseatingly	unfunny	,	and	if	you	don't	have	a	passion	for	very	deep	blues	rock	,	you'll	be	bored	out	of	your	skull	.	much	of	this	film	seems	nothing	more	than	aykroyd's	self	serving	vanity	project	,	but	no	matter	how	much	fun	aykroyd	may	be	having	with	this	,	none	of	the	excitement	is	passed	on	to	the	audience	.	and	seeing	three	guys	in	three	piece	suits	goofily	dancing	around	with	poker	faces	can	only	be	funny	for	so	long	.	unfortunately	,	those	two	seconds	are	over	about	fifteen	minutes	into	the	film	.
neg	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	at	the	end	of	the	day	,	those	reflecting	upon	the	debacle	that	is	the	avengers	would	do	well	to	take	note	that	warning	clouds	loomed	on	the	horizon	for	the	project	well	before	warner	bros	.	made	the	contentious	decision	to	abandon	preview	press	screenings	and	scrapped	plans	for	a	gala	premiere	.	this	highly	anticipated	film	rendition	of	the	cult	television	show	was	originally	slotted	for	an	early	june	opening	,	where	it	would	have	gone	head	to	head	against	the	rival	studios'	heavy	hitters	;	its	eventual	demotion	to	a	less	potent	mid	august	opening	was	an	obvious	early	indication	of	the	studio's	lack	of	confidence	with	the	picture	.	and	with	good	reason	.	this	is	a	joyless	exercise	of	a	film	,	held	together	by	a	barely	coherent	plot	and	lacking	any	semblance	of	excitement	,	thrills	or	wit	.	remarkable	in	its	banality	and	brutally	uninvolving	,	the	avengers	is	a	catastrophic	mess	which	immediately	invites	comparisons	to	last	year's	case	study	in	style	over	substance	,	joel	schumacher's	much	loathed	batman	robin	.	(	indeed	,	both	films	even	feature	appalling	,	ridiculous	sequences	which	find	central	characters	dressed	up	in	fuzzy	oversized	costumes	.	)	uma	thurman	,	who	takes	on	the	salacious	role	of	the	catsuit	clad	,	karate	chopping	emma	peel	immortalized	by	diana	rigg	,	was	the	only	bright	spot	in	the	aforementioned	schumacher	disaster	,	imbuing	her	poison	ivy	with	a	dose	of	sassiness	and	sly	wit	that	gave	audiences	something	to	smile	at	amidst	the	cinematic	carnage	.	unfortunately	,	the	same	can't	be	said	here	,	where	she	and	cohort	ralph	fiennes	(	our	new	john	steed	,	taking	over	for	patrick	macnee	)	demonstrate	no	appreciable	chemistry	whatsoever	,	fatally	crippling	the	picture	as	they	volley	fizzling	repartee	back	and	forth	and	trade	double	entendres	with	all	the	enthusiasm	of	two	actors	painfully	aware	that	they're	on	board	a	sinking	ship	.	at	this	rate	,	usually	splendid	actor	mr	.	fiennes	may	never	make	the	transition	from	arthouse	apollo	to	mainstream	leading	man	his	tepid	turn	here	will	make	as	much	of	an	inroad	as	his	commendably	seedy	performance	in	the	regrettably	neglected	kathyrn	bigelow	film	strange	days	.	the	duo	look	the	part	and	admittedly	the	avengers	is	,	more	than	most	,	heavily	dependent	upon	style	but	they're	no	fun	to	watch	,	and	i	found	myself	growing	increasingly	distant	and	annoyed	by	the	lack	of	spark	between	the	two	cheekily	ironic	characters	as	they	navigated	through	the	picture's	caper	esque	plot	.	when	not	checking	my	wristwatch	or	shifting	restlessly	in	my	seat	,	i	began	to	alleviate	the	boredom	by	considering	how	this	all	might	have	played	out	had	the	filmmakers	chose	to	go	instead	with	that	erstwhile	emma	as	our	mrs	.	peel	no	,	not	kate	beckinsale	(	although	the	notion	now	intrigues	me	)	,	but	gwyneth	paltrow	,	who	was	originally	in	the	running	for	the	part	and	can	veritably	handle	a	spot	on	english	accent	.	if	nothing	else	,	it'd	at	least	be	highly	entertaining	for	the	incongruous	sight	of	the	vaguely	twiggish	young	actress	kicking	butt	.	the	story	,	such	as	it	is	,	involves	the	ever	bemused	tandem	of	steed	and	peel	combating	the	malevolent	sir	august	de	wynter	(	sean	connery	)	,	an	eccentric	aristocrat	threatening	the	safety	of	the	nation	with	his	climate	controlling	contraption	.	(	they	also	sip	a	lot	of	tea	.	)	overlooking	some	goofy	cloning	nonsense	and	quirky	hijinx	involving	our	protagonists'	superiors	,	it	sounds	far	better	than	it	plays	,	and	is	rendered	almost	indecipherable	by	blatant	post	production	tinkering	;	it's	clearly	evident	that	the	picture	has	been	cut	to	shreds	.	the	avengers	was	never	about	gripping	drama	,	and	our	heroes	accordingly	never	take	villainous	sir	august	very	seriously	,	but	given	the	lack	of	cohesion	in	the	plot	and	the	lack	of	menace	conveyed	by	the	buffoonish	maniac	,	it's	all	decidedly	uncompelling	.	mr	.	connery	,	who's	onscreen	barely	long	enough	to	register	an	impression	,	approaches	the	role	like	a	man	fulfilling	a	contractual	obligation	,	simultaneously	chewing	the	scenery	while	unable	to	hide	his	disinterest	.	at	least	it	all	looks	good	.	this	is	a	genuinely	handsome	production	,	with	fine	costume	design	by	anthony	powell	and	crisply	shot	by	roger	pratt	.	in	particular	,	the	gleaming	production	design	by	stuart	craig	commands	attention	,	adeptly	drawing	elements	both	old	and	new	in	order	to	depict	this	great	britain	.	there	are	a	handful	of	striking	visual	moments	in	the	film	,	including	an	attack	by	a	swarm	of	giant	robotic	bees	and	a	nice	shot	of	steed	and	peel	finding	a	way	to	walk	on	water	,	but	the	film	is	so	unremittingly	dull	that	even	these	instances	fail	to	stir	interest	or	raise	pulse	rates	.	by	the	time	the	film's	climax	had	arrived	,	my	interest	was	not	with	the	sight	of	steed	and	sir	august	slugging	it	out	amidst	crashing	waves	and	thundering	rain	,	but	with	the	quickest	escape	route	from	the	theatre	.	not	coincidentally	,	the	enticing	bits	of	visual	bravura	were	the	shots	assembled	into	the	movie's	remarkable	trailer	,	a	savvy	piece	of	work	which	ironically	is	infinitely	more	appealing	that	the	feature	film	itself	;	the	first	promo	which	made	the	rounds	in	early	spring	is	probably	my	favourite	studio	trailer	so	far	this	year	.	it's	everything	that	the	avengers	is	not	saucy	,	clever	,	engaging	,	and	entertaining	.	a	crushing	disappointment	,	the	film	is	one	of	the	worst	outings	of	the	year	too	drearily	awful	to	be	savoured	as	gleefully	bad	,	too	polished	to	overlook	its	deficiencies	.	there	may	be	upcoming	pictures	that	are	even	more	lifeless	than	the	avengers	,	but	i	sure	hope	not	.
neg	ever	wished	longingly	for	the	glory	days	when	you	could	watch	"	late	night	with	david	letterman	"	and	catch	a	little	bit	of	that	wacky	super	dave	osborne	,	the	stuntman	who	just	can't	get	things	right	?	well	now	you	can	relive	those	happy	moments	at	your	leisure	,	by	taking	super	dave	home	in	his	theatrical	er	,	straight	to	video	debut	:	the	extreme	adventures	of	super	dave	!	what	,	you	aren't	frantically	dialing	your	phone	to	reserve	your	copy	at	the	video	store	yet	?	take	off	your	shoes	and	put	down	the	car	keys	.	if	this	video	has	proven	anything	,	it's	that	what	can	be	funny	for	1	2	a	minute	probably	usually	won't	make	it	for	91	.	oh	,	how	super	dave	proves	it	.	in	the	film	,	bob	einstein	,	aka	super	dave	osborne	,	finds	himself	a	washed	up	stuntman	.	his	manager	has	run	off	with	his	fortunes	,	his	fun	park	is	failing	,	and	he	finds	himself	in	the	charge	of	a	sick	little	boy	.	dave	retires	to	train	up	and	coming	stunt	stars	,	and	soon	an	heir	apparent	arises	,	even	dubbing	himself	super	dave	jr	.	but	jr	.	turns	out	to	be	a	traitor	in	the	employ	of	dan	hedaya's	evil	promoter	.	a	grudge	match	is	announced	,	and	super	dave	must	jump	half	a	mile	of	cars	in	order	to	win	the	prize	and	save	the	kid	.	that	smell	is	not	your	garbage	can	,	it's	this	movie	,	which	has	all	the	plot	of	a	box	of	cheerios	.	perhaps	less	,	if	you	include	the	maze	on	the	back	.	most	of	the	nutty	stunts	are	repeats	from	"	letterman	"	's	of	old	,	and	while	a	few	earn	a	chuckle	or	two	,	you	aren't	likely	to	break	much	of	a	smile	during	the	running	time	of	this	dog	.	the	production	might	as	well	have	been	made	with	a	handicam	,	and	the	shot	sequence	of	dave	car	falling	dummy	gets	crushed	by	car	gets	very	old	,	very	fast	.	but	wait	!	don't	give	up	yet	!	filmcritic	.	com's	exclusive	inside	news	says	that	next	we	can	expect	a	feature	length	"	top	ten	"	list	!	you	gotta	dream	.
neg	once	upon	a	time	jean	claude	van	damme	was	a	decent	action	hero	.	the	muscles	from	brussels	bursted	into	the	hollywood	market	with	mindless	adventure	films	,	boasting	his	spectacular	martial	arts	ability	.	some	of	these	excursions	were	fun	.	but	now	it	seems	like	watching	a	van	damme	movie	has	become	a	painful	chore	,	with	no	rewards	but	the	virtually	guaranteed	helping	of	mind	numbing	action	.	and	when	the	action	goes	sour	,	what	is	there	left	to	enjoy	?	i'll	explain	.	knock	off	is	about	a	pair	of	counterfeit	jeans	salesmen	working	out	of	an	office	in	hong	kong	.	marcus	ray	(	van	damme	)	,	a	babe	magnet	and	stylish	dresser	,	heads	up	the	company	with	an	annoying	weasel	of	a	partner	(	rob	schneider	)	.	they	become	part	of	a	plot	involving	microbombs	implanted	in	counterfeit	jeans	,	seemingly	by	a	mole	in	the	business	.	i'm	going	to	reveal	about	everything	in	the	next	paragraph	,	so	if	you	want	a	review	devoid	of	spoilers	,	skip	onto	the	next	one	.	i'm	not	quite	sure	who	gives	a	crap	,	but	i'll	issue	a	warning	anyhow	.	tommy	is	really	working	with	the	cia	.	his	boss	(	a	very	hammy	and	flat	paul	sorvino	)	is	the	mole	,	and	he	wants	to	cause	carnage	with	these	tiny	but	immensely	powerful	super	weapons	.	he	even	stoops	so	low	to	put	them	into	children's	toys	.	if	you	thought	this	plot	outline	sounded	intriguing	,	then	you	probably	will	enjoy	knock	off	.	if	you	think	that	this	ridiculous	set	up	couldn't	even	fill	five	minutes	of	screen	time	without	causing	you	to	roll	over	laughing	,	this	might	not	be	your	cup	of	tea	.	knock	off	sucks	.	it	stoops	to	ridiculous	levels	that	most	individuals	could	only	conjure	up	in	horrific	nightmares	.	it	amazes	me	how	far	these	producers	will	go	to	sell	something	,	simply	because	van	damme	is	the	star	.	the	plot	is	pathetic	garbage	strung	together	by	inane	action	sequences	that	will	baffle	your	mind	,	the	performances	are	so	wooden	you	could	use	them	to	row	a	canoe	,	and	the	action	itself	is	an	absolute	catastrophe	.	director	tsui	hark	(	who	teamed	with	van	damme	in	the	superior	,	but	still	lame	brained	double	team	)	is	at	the	helm	,	and	he	would	rather	attempt	to	dazzle	us	with	fantastic	camera	angles	than	engage	us	with	the	plot	.	i	suppose	i	enjoyed	some	of	the	camera	work	,	but	the	incessant	desperation	of	it	all	made	me	rather	nauseous	.	the	picture	freezes	in	the	middle	of	an	action	sequence	,	speeds	are	altered	consistently	,	and	the	camera	tricks	mostly	apply	to	traveling	up	gun	barrels	as	the	weapons	are	fired	.	it	all	sounds	very	cool	.	trust	me	,	it	isn't	.	as	much	as	it	scars	me	to	say	this	(	har	,	har	)	,	van	damme	is	terrible	.	sure	,	he	does	lots	of	fancy	kickboxing	moves	and	dodges	giant	crates	with	the	greatest	of	ease	.	he	looks	like	he's	doing	a	bad	impersonation	of	jackie	chan	,	and	his	performance	is	stiff	and	tired	.	i	hate	to	say	it	,	but	perhaps	it's	time	for	mr	.	van	damme	to	give	up	his	day	job	.	it's	really	a	test	of	endurance	watching	knock	off	.	i	suppose	there's	some	enjoyment	derived	from	schneider's	character	,	who	is	extremely	annoying	,	but	provides	the	film's	better	moments	.	and	what	is	the	beautiful	lela	rochon	doing	in	this	movie	?	hopefully	she	grabbed	her	paycheck	and	then	fled	the	premises	like	an	olympic	sprinter	.	knock	off	doesn't	even	stand	strong	as	a	mindless	but	entertaining	action	film	,	like	a	handful	of	van	damme's	others	.	no	,	this	movie	is	an	embarrassment	to	the	entire	action	genre	of	modern	filmmaking	.	and	considering	how	low	hollywood	has	stooped	as	of	late	in	that	department	,	that	is	certainly	not	saying	much	.	note	to	self	:	avoid	universal	soldier	2	:	the	return	upon	release	in	august	99	.
neg	lauded	as	a	genius	by	many	,	stanley	kubrick	commands	a	superlative	filmography	that	includes	such	critically	acclaimed	films	as	"	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	,	"	"	a	clockwork	orange	,	"	"	lolita	,	"	and	"	dr	.	strangelove	,	or	:	how	i	learned	to	stop	worrying	and	love	the	bomb	.	"	now	,	sadly	,	he's	added	"	eyes	wide	shut	"	to	that	impeccable	body	of	work	and	his	final	film	is	the	first	and	only	blot	on	his	near	flawless	copybook	.	this	much	publicized	psycho	sexual	tease	a	thon	,	with	its	star	billing	of	real	life	marrieds	tom	cruise	and	nicole	kidman	,	is	nothing	more	than	one	long	(	two	and	a	half	hours	long	)	boring	exercise	that	features	kubrick	operating	with	talent	wide	shut	.	kubrick	,	faithless	to	arthur	schnitzler's	1926	novella	"	dream	story	,	"	has	confused	eroticism	with	nudity	.	he	has	confused	intellectualism	with	talking	slowly	.	he	has	confused	profundity	with	pretentiousness	.	in	addition	,	the	director	has	made	some	strange	casting	choices	,	leaving	sydney	pollack	in	and	leaving	accomplished	performers	harvey	keitel	and	jennifer	jason	leigh	out	.	pollack	,	the	director	of	such	box	office	hits	as	"	tootsie	"	and	"	out	of	africa	,	"	is	normally	solid	in	his	occasional	acting	stints	but	here	he's	miserably	out	of	his	depth	.	.	.	and	there	isn't	much	depth	to	begin	with	!	unhappily	,	there's	not	likely	to	be	a	director's	cut	of	this	film	to	determine	whether	the	decision	to	exorcise	keitel	and	leigh	was	the	right	one	.	in	fact	,	with	the	exception	of	the	stark	black	and	white	credits	,	snatches	of	baroque	music	on	the	soundtrack	,	and	many	,	many	grainy	tracking	shots	down	lavishly	decorated	corridors	,	there's	none	of	kubrick's	trademark	brilliance	in	this	film	.
neg	cast	:	treat	williams	,	famke	janssen	,	wes	studi	,	kevin	j	.	o'connor	,	anthony	heald	director	:	stephen	sommers	producers	:	john	baldecchi	,	laurence	mark	screenplay	:	stephen	sommers	cinematography	:	howard	atherton	music	:	jerry	goldsmith	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	hollywood	pictures	here's	something	to	chew	on	:	what's	the	favorite	food	of	big	,	cheesy	looking	special	effects	monsters	like	the	one	lurking	in	the	bowels	of	a	luxury	liner	in	deep	rising	?	the	obvious	answer	to	this	question	is	cardboard	,	because	that's	the	depth	of	the	most	fully	developed	character	in	this	painfully	generic	creature	feature	.	deep	rising	demonstrates	all	the	originality	and	vitality	of	something	scripted	by	a	computer	.	in	fact	,	considering	the	rigid	adherence	to	the	expected	formulas	,	perhaps	it	was	.	the	most	astonishing	thing	about	deep	rising	is	the	exceptionally	high	level	of	gore	.	not	since	starship	troopers	have	this	many	chunks	of	flesh	(	both	human	and	non	human	)	been	scattered	in	all	directions	.	we	learn	some	bloody	trivia	,	as	well	,	such	as	how	a	sea	monster	spraypaints	in	red	(	it	drinks	a	human	being	then	spits	out	the	liquefied	remains	)	and	what	it	does	with	half	digested	leftovers	.	i	suppose	deep	rising's	gallery	of	grotesque	images	represents	fun	stuff	for	those	who	love	the	macabre	,	but	it	doesn't	do	much	for	me	.	on	the	surface	,	and	that's	about	the	only	level	at	which	this	film	can	be	analyzed	,	deep	rising	feels	like	tremors	grafted	onto	titanic	(	everyone	else	is	citing	the	equally	valid	aliens	titanic	connection	,	since	james	cameron	directed	both	)	.	in	going	for	the	big	disaster	angle	of	titanic	and	the	tongue	in	cheek	mayhem	of	tremors	,	deep	rising	somehow	misses	both	marks	by	a	wide	margin	.	the	film	is	not	humorous	,	tense	,	or	exciting	.	in	fact	,	it's	downright	boring	,	and	,	despite	being	half	the	length	of	cameron's	current	box	office	champ	,	deep	rising	feels	like	the	longer	movie	.	is	it	really	necessary	to	say	anything	about	the	plot	?	probably	not	,	since	it's	easy	to	guess	,	but	i'll	go	ahead	and	oblige	anyone	who	wants	a	synopsis	.	the	film	opens	by	introducing	us	to	a	gang	of	bad	guys	on	board	a	mercenary	ship	.	in	addition	to	the	usual	cast	of	psychopaths	and	lunatics	,	there's	finnegan	(	treat	williams	)	,	the	boat's	pilot	,	who's	supposed	to	be	an	indiana	jones	knockoff	;	joey	(	kevin	j	.	o'connor	)	,	the	inept	sidekick	who's	supposed	to	be	lovable	and	funny	(	but	is	really	just	irritating	)	;	and	hanover	(	wes	studi	)	,	the	"	mastermind	"	(	and	i	use	that	term	lightly	)	of	the	operation	.	their	goal	:	attack	a	cruise	ship	,	clean	out	the	safe	,	then	sink	it	using	some	illegally	acquired	torpedoes	.	the	problem	is	,	by	the	time	they	reach	the	argonautica	,	the	titanic	like	luxury	liner	has	turned	into	the	marie	celeste	.	aside	from	a	beautiful	jewel	thief	(	famke	janssen	)	and	a	couple	of	crew	members	,	there's	no	one	on	board	.	the	reason	soon	becomes	obvious	the	ship	has	been	taken	over	by	a	bad	special	effect	that	is	supposed	to	resemble	an	octopus	with	teeth	and	more	than	eight	tentacles	.	the	cast	,	which	is	led	by	treat	williams	,	is	primarily	comprised	of	has	beens	and	probably	never	will	bes	(	two	exceptions	:	wes	studi	,	best	known	as	the	villain	in	the	last	of	the	mohicans	,	and	djimon	hounsou	,	amistad's	cinque	)	.	williams	,	once	a	"	can't	miss	"	prospect	in	hollywood	,	has	fallen	so	far	out	of	favor	that	the	best	he	can	do	these	days	for	a	lead	role	is	a	film	like	deep	rising	,	and	his	inability	to	create	a	charismatic	or	interesting	figure	here	may	sink	whatever	is	left	of	his	sputtering	career	.	famke	janssen	,	who	will	forever	be	known	as	xenia	onatopp	from	goldeneye	,	is	the	perfect	bland	match	for	williams	.	given	her	limited	acting	abilities	,	it's	likely	that	she	was	chosen	for	this	part	primarily	on	the	basis	of	her	physical	attributes	.	unfortunately	,	a	bra	defeats	the	purpose	of	having	her	in	a	wet	tee	shirt	for	half	of	the	picture	.	meanwhile	,	kevin	j	.	o'connor	,	who	has	entirely	too	much	screen	time	,	exhibits	all	the	appeal	of	fingernails	scratching	a	blackboard	.	these	days	,	audiences	are	becoming	more	difficult	to	impress	with	computer	generated	special	effects	.	this	is	a	lesson	that	writer	director	stephen	sommers	(	who	previously	helmed	the	live	action	jungle	book	)	needs	to	learn	.	the	days	of	jurassic	park	,	when	viewers	were	astounded	by	the	mere	spectacle	of	seeing	something	big	and	imposing	on	screen	,	are	past	.	now	,	movie	goers	are	looking	for	the	sophistication	of	titanic	visuals	that	are	so	well	incorporated	that	it's	impossible	to	tell	where	they	end	and	where	"	reality	"	begins	.	in	deep	rising	,	the	monster	,	like	everything	,	is	artificial	and	unconvincing	.	unfortunately	,	the	fundamental	problem	audiences	are	faced	with	here	isn't	so	much	the	idiotic	monotony	of	this	individual	picture	,	but	the	poor	quality	of	the	entire	bankrupt	genre	(	although	,	to	be	fair	,	deep	rising	is	a	particularly	bad	entry	)	.	even	once	this	film	has	sunk	out	of	sight	,	the	knowledgeable	viewer	knows	it	won't	be	the	last	of	its	kind	.	like	the	slimy	,	slithering	things	that	inhabit	the	air	vents	and	pipes	of	these	movies	,	more	are	waiting	just	around	the	corner	in	ambush	.	and	that	consideration	,	unlike	anything	on	screen	,	is	truly	horrifying	.
neg	director	:	mick	jackson	writers	:	jerome	armstrong	and	billy	ray	starring	:	tommy	lee	jones	,	anne	heche	,	don	cheadle	,	gaby	hoffman	,	keith	david	there's	a	scene	somewhere	in	this	film	where	one	of	the	characters	reads	the	book	"	screenwriting	made	easy	.	"	this	is	funny	the	first	time	just	'cause	it	is	,	but	funnier	as	the	film	goes	on	since	it's	totally	ironic	since	the	screenwriters	of	this	inane	film	probably	read	it	,	outlined	it	and	then	wrote	this	film	.	it's	like	they	took	the	sub	genre	of	the	disaster	pic	,	which	can	be	fun	and	hokey	at	the	same	time	,	and	then	forgot	one	of	the	greatest	parts	of	them	:	the	stupid	,	eccentric	characters	.	yes	,	"	the	poseidon	adventure	"	is	crap	,	but	it's	fun	'cause	of	all	the	stupid	,	eccentric	characters	.	and	"	earthquake	,	"	my	god	!	"	earthquake	"	has	got	to	be	one	of	the	worst	movies	of	all	time	,	but	at	least	they	had	the	joke	of	having	charlton	heston	sleeping	with	genevieve	bujold	.	"	volcano	"	takes	a	semi	intriguing	yet	stupendously	inane	plot	(	a	volcano	no	one	knew	about	suddenly	errupts	one	fine	morning	and	then	erupts	again	later	then	stops	.	.	.	only	it's	in	,	dare	i	say	it	?	l	.	a	!	!	!	)	and	then	puts	no	stupid	,	stereotypical	,	eccentric	characters	in	it	.	they're	just	stupid	.	and	the	actors	are	all	good	ones	.	tommy	lee	jones	is	great	,	an	oscar	winner	,	and	a	member	of	the	men	in	black	(	my	vote	for	what	should	be	the	coolest	movie	of	the	summer	)	.	anne	heche	is	a	good	indy	actress	.	don	cheadle	stole	the	disappointing	"	devil	in	a	blue	dress	"	from	denzel's	feet	.	and	gaby's	one	of	the	few	good	teenage	actors	.	but	they	get	nothing	to	do	but	act	dumb	and	scream	at	what's	going	on	.	they	do	their	best	,	god	bless	them	,	but	they're	all	lost	in	the	fake	magma	(	only	don	cheadle	gets	an	interesting	part	and	he's	the	greatest	part	of	the	film	)	.	there's	no	real	suspense	here	'cause	you	don't	care	about	anyone	.	i	actually	was	rooting	for	gaby's	character	to	get	killed	so	tommy	lee	jones	wouldn't	have	to	keep	saving	her	(	he	did	it	like	thirty	times	!	)	.	and	there	are	no	interesting	sites	in	l	.	a	.	that	we	see	get	destroyed	.	part	of	the	fun	of	disaster	films	is	watching	sites	get	toppled	or	destroyed	or	whatever	.	in	"	independence	day	,	"	the	best	part	(	other	than	judd	hirsch	)	was	watching	the	white	house	and	empire	state	building	get	blown	up	by	the	aliens	.	that	was	cool	.	watching	really	fake	looking	magma	plow	down	the	street	is	not	.	okay	,	so	the	film's	not	devoid	of	merit	.	as	i	already	stated	,	don	cheadle	was	great	and	the	cast	does	their	best	.	and	there's	this	really	moronic	scene	which	looks	cool	.	john	carrol	lynch	(	norm	from	"	fargo	"	)	goes	on	a	subway	car	to	save	people	but	the	lava	comes	and	surrounds	it	.	he	has	one	guy	who's	wounded	and	could	make	it	.	he	could	throw	the	guy	and	jump	and	still	survive	.	but	no	!	!	!	he	has	to	go	and	inanely	jump	and	land	right	in	the	middle	of	the	lava	.	here's	the	cool	sight	:	he	melts	.	here's	the	dumb	part	of	it	:	he	somehow	manages	to	throw	the	man	to	safety	as	his	legs	are	melting	.	cool	sight	.	no	logic	.	but	cool	sight	.	the	volcano	erupts	twice	and	for	some	reason	,	the	film	ends	there	.	they	aren't	worried	about	it	eruting	again	,	they	just	go	home	to	their	toppled	homes	.	but	to	tell	the	truth	,	i	was	glad	they	didn't	go	on	.	i	was	hoping	the	film	was	over	after	the	first	eruption	ended	.	my	god	,	it	was	actually	painful	to	sit	through	this	little	102	minute	long	film	.	i	haven't	seen	"	dante's	peak	"	but	i've	heard	it's	a	masterpiece	compared	to	this	.	if	you	want	to	see	a	cool	disaster	flick	that's	inane	but	interesting	,	rent	"	the	towering	inferno	"	with	steve	mcqueen	,	paul	newman	,	and	the	schweppervescent	o	.	j	.	simpson	(	he	saves	a	cat	)	.	if	you	want	to	waste	your	time	watching	a	boring	,	stupid	disaster	flick	(	literally	,	it	almost	grossed	half	of	its	budget	)	,	see	this	.	but	i	warned	you	.
neg	brian	de	palma's	snake	eyes	stars	nicolas	cage's	evil	twin	,	who	confusingly	uses	the	same	stage	name	as	his	talented	brother	.	like	a	foreign	tourist	who	screams	his	lines	in	english	to	ensure	that	he	will	be	understood	,	cage	yells	with	the	ferocity	of	a	man	with	a	bad	case	of	caffeine	overload	.	de	palma	,	whose	last	great	film	,	the	untouchables	,	was	crafted	over	a	decade	ago	seems	to	have	lost	his	magic	.	in	snake	eyes	,	he	manages	to	elicit	some	of	the	worst	performances	possible	out	of	a	skilled	cast	.	only	gary	sinise	rises	slightly	above	the	hackneyed	material	.	the	rest	of	the	actors	become	caricatures	in	this	by	the	numbers	thriller	.	ryuichi	sakamoto's	atmospheric	and	melodramatic	music	dominates	almost	every	scene	.	heavy	on	the	long	violin	notes	,	its	rhythm	is	punctuated	by	thunder	.	(	the	script	by	de	palma	and	lost	world's	david	koepp	sets	the	action	during	a	hurricane	in	an	attempt	to	pump	up	the	adrenaline	level	and	the	noise	.	only	the	latter	is	achieved	.	)	cage	plays	rick	santoro	,	a	corrupt	atlantic	city	cop	who	shakes	down	criminals	to	get	betting	money	.	the	movie	takes	place	over	a	single	evening	when	a	world	championship	fight	is	being	held	.	with	a	flashy	,	bad	wardrobe	and	a	gold	cell	phone	,	rick	is	an	obnoxious	cop	who	doesn't	know	when	to	shut	up	.	spouting	cliched	and	ridiculous	dialog	,	he	screams	such	lines	as	,	"	i	was	made	for	the	sewer	,	baby	!	"	actually	the	line	is	more	apropos	for	the	movie	as	a	whole	.	sinise	plays	kevin	dunne	,	a	naval	officer	who	is	in	charge	of	the	security	for	the	secretary	of	the	navy	,	who	has	come	to	watch	the	fight	.	but	most	people	in	the	film	are	not	who	they	seem	to	be	,	and	the	thin	script	makes	all	of	them	easy	to	guess	.	the	plot	,	which	is	told	in	endless	flashbacks	,	concerns	the	assassination	of	the	secretary	through	a	scheme	set	up	by	some	malevolent	businessmen	that	adjective	is	,	of	course	,	redundant	in	hollywood	thrillers	.	the	flashbacks	become	repetitious	with	the	same	scene	shown	again	and	again	,	sometimes	from	a	different	perspective	and	sometimes	not	.	although	a	brian	de	palma	film	requires	a	certain	amount	of	gratuitous	violence	,	this	one	is	remarkably	tame	for	the	man	who	became	famous	when	he	made	carrie	.	the	movie's	outline	has	some	promise	,	but	the	movie	itself	is	leaden	.	the	film	takes	itself	all	too	seriously	.	at	best	,	it	is	a	1940s	style	b	movie	.	a	little	humor	would	have	helped	the	script	some	,	but	a	complete	rewrite	would	have	been	better	.	and	,	although	i	hate	to	say	it	,	a	different	director	would	have	been	the	biggest	improvement	.	snake	eyes	runs	1	:	39	.	it	is	rated	r	for	violence	and	would	be	acceptable	for	teenagers	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	little	boy	born	in	east	germany	(	named	hansel	)	loves	the	american	music	.	one	day	,	he	gets	the	opportunity	to	meet	and	marry	an	american	g	.	i	.	,	but	first	,	he	must	get	a	sex	change	(	enter	hedwig	)	.	once	married	,	the	two	move	to	the	states	,	but	quickly	thereafter	,	get	a	divorce	.	at	that	point	,	hedwig	starts	writing	music	and	meets	another	confused	boy	,	who	soon	turns	into	a	star	.	that	boy	also	turns	his	back	on	hedwig	,	and	it	isn't	long	before	hedwig	puts	together	his	her	own	band	and	tours	the	states	via	seafood	restaurants	.	this	is	the	story	of	his	her	life	,	told	via	flashbacks	and	musical	numbers	.	critique	:	an	artsy	fartsy	musical	with	great	songs	and	a	superb	performance	by	john	cameron	mitchell	,	doesn't	really	come	together	as	a	whole	,	with	over	the	top	symbolism	,	incoherence	and	too	much	pretension	to	retain	my	interest	all	the	whole	way	through	.	in	fact	,	this	isn't	so	much	of	a	realistic	,	articulate	,	behind	the	scenes	look	at	the	rise	of	a	rock	'n	roll	star	,	as	it	is	an	ambiguous	,	overly	poetic	and	incomprehensible	struggle	of	a	man	,	his	sexuality	and	his	identity	as	a	whole	person	on	this	planet	.	i	guess	that	i	was	expecting	the	former	going	in	.	the	film	is	somewhat	interesting	to	a	point	,	but	i	was	personally	never	able	to	involve	myself	too	much	,	as	the	basic	symbolic	and	incongruent	nature	of	the	film	left	me	feeling	cold	and	distant	.	but	it	is	definitely	tuned	to	a	certain	type	of	audience	.	chances	are	that	if	you	are	a	fan	of	the	wall	,	the	rocky	horror	picture	show	or	even	priscilla	,	queen	of	the	desert	,	the	elements	tangled	in	this	movie	will	likely	strike	your	fancy	(	some	of	the	characters	in	this	film	even	ask	the	audience	to	sing	along	at	some	point	,	and	provide	the	lyrics	of	their	song	,	on	screen	)	.	well	,	i	personally	don't	care	for	those	films	,	and	didn't	really	get	into	the	whole	"	show	"	atmosphere	of	this	movie	either	.	i	guess	i	might've	looked	at	it	all	too	literally	,	but	like	i	said	earlier	,	i	just	didn't	care	enough	about	the	characters	to	delve	into	the	"	so	the	butterfly	represents	his	freedom	?	"	side	of	things	.	all	i	know	is	that	the	film	left	me	with	many	questions	unanswered	and	didn't	make	me	feel	any	more	fulfilled	.	what	was	hedwig's	relationship	with	that	other	member	of	his	band	(	with	the	beard	)	?	what	happened	with	hedwig	and	tommy	gnosis	at	the	end	of	the	movie	?	(	was	that	an	actual	sequence	or	a	fantasy	?	)	what	ever	happened	to	the	lawsuit	?	and	more	.	.	.	all	of	which	were	part	of	the	film	and	interested	me	somewhat	.	if	the	only	idea	behind	the	film	was	for	the	main	character	to	uncover	his	her	sexuality	,	then	that's	one	thing	,	but	as	many	of	the	relationships	and	situations	presented	themselves	in	this	movie	,	i	wanted	some	resolution	to	those	pieces	as	well	.	i	didn't	get	it	.	the	film's	humor	also	didn't	tickle	my	funny	bone	either	.	then	again	,	i've	seen	many	a	film	in	these	art	house	theatres	in	which	patrons	are	rolling	down	the	aisles	with	laughter	,	while	all	i	see	is	a	tiny	bit	of	whimsy	on	the	screen	.	some	of	these	films	are	also	better	enjoyed	with	the	added	"	atmosphere	"	of	a	plant	called	marijuana	,	and	i	can	certainly	see	how	this	movie	ingrains	within	itself	some	nifty	visual	elements	,	in	order	to	jazz	up	that	experience	.	but	being	sober	as	i	was	and	expecting	a	coherent	,	funny	,	musical	with	a	transsexual	twist	,	i	didn't	leave	the	theater	very	satisfied	.	i	came	out	having	watched	an	existential	story	of	a	confused	man	caught	up	in	a	musical	lifestyle	,	wrapped	in	metaphors	,	dramatics	and	more	questions	than	answers	.	i	will	,	on	the	other	hand	,	definitely	hand	some	props	out	to	the	lead	in	this	film	,	john	cameron	mitchell	,	who	is	also	the	man	who	wrote	,	directed	and	created	the	play	on	which	this	movie	is	based	,	and	the	tunes	,	which	will	likely	be	enjoyed	by	anyone	who	digs	the	sex	pistols	,	david	bowie	and	the	whole	70s	glam	rock	scene	.	note	:	btw	,	it	seems	as	though	pretty	much	every	single	"	mainstream	"	critic	in	the	united	states	loved	this	movie	from	top	to	bottom	(	and	thought	that	it	was	really	funny	to	boot	!	)	,	so	you	might	want	to	take	that	into	consideration	yourself	.	but	having	said	that	,	the	main	reason	that	i	started	this	dinky	website	in	the	first	place	was	because	films	like	this	would	sometimes	be	uniformly	applauded	by	the	"	official	"	critics	,	while	i	,	a	regular	"	joblo	"	in	the	audience	,	just	wouldn't	get	what	all	the	fuss	was	about	.	this	movie	is	a	perfect	example	of	why	i	continue	to	write	movie	reviews	.	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	moulin	rouge	(	8	10	)	grease	(	8	10	)	everyone	says	i	love	you	(	5	10	)	the	opposite	of	sex	(	8	10	)	dancer	in	the	dark	(	5	10	)	o	brother	,	where	art	thou	(	7	10	)	love's	labour's	lost	(	8	10	)
neg	"	there's	nothing	new	under	the	sun	"	is	a	phrase	often	used	when	the	speaker	actually	means	"	let's	find	something	to	copy	.	"	of	course	there	are	very	few	completely	original	ideas	.	even	earth	shattering	concepts	are	built	upon	the	vast	body	of	human	experience	.	there	is	,	after	all	,	no	need	to	re	invent	the	wheel	time	after	time	.	recently	it	seems	that	hollywood	doesn't	feel	the	need	to	even	re	write	the	script	.	my	understanding	of	the	word	"	sequel	"	is	a	continuation	of	the	story	.	the	film	industry	has	defined	the	word	to	mean	reshooting	the	original	with	minor	changes	.	have	an	overwhelming	desire	to	see	an	inferior	version	of	brian	depalma's	adaptation	of	the	steven	king	novel	?	this	is	your	dream	come	true	.	rachel	(	emily	bergl	)	,	a	high	school	outcast	,	is	beginning	to	notice	weird	things	happening	around	her	.	doors	slam	shut	by	themselves	.	glass	globes	blow	up	.	her	mother	has	severe	mental	problems	and	her	father	is	absent	.	a	popular	boy	unexpectedly	asks	her	out	.	the	in	crowd	conspires	to	embarrass	her	at	a	public	event	.
neg	well	,	there's	nothing	like	missing	a	fad	by	a	few	years	to	show	how	really	behind	the	curve	you	are	.	permanent	midnight	,	the	new	film	about	the	rise	and	fall	.	.	.	well	,	mostly	the	fall	.	.	.	of	tv	writer	jerry	stahl	should	prove	to	be	the	final	nail	in	the	short	lived	,	and	now	painful	to	watch	,	genre	:	the	drug	movie	.	perhaps	best	known	as	the	chief	influence	behind	the	tv	show	"	alf	,	"	midnight	is	a	simplistic	retelling	of	stahl's	tell	all	autobiography	.	ben	stiller	,	the	only	remotely	passable	part	of	this	film	,	plays	stahl	with	gusto	,	but	twenty	minutes	of	stiller	going	berserk	as	a	strung	out	junkie	are	more	than	enough	.	sadly	,	that's	all	this	movie	is	:	a	whopping	85	minutes	of	stiller	on	heroin	.	there's	precious	little	about	his	life	before	or	after	his	addiction	.	it's	just	a	few	pages	out	of	the	life	of	a	junkie	.	and	i	couldn't	have	cared	less	.	plot	development	?	ha	!	first	time	director	veloz	obviously	feels	it's	beneath	him	.	maybe	the	worst	part	of	midnight	is	that	it's	told	completely	in	flashback	,	as	stahl	reminisces	to	some	blonde	girl	who	picks	him	up	at	a	fast	food	joint	.	played	by	maria	bello	,	this	outta	nowhere	character	is	so	devoid	of	,	well	,	of	anything	that	my	cat	could	have	played	her	with	the	same	conviction	.	bello	had	best	start	rethinking	that	"	er	"	departure	,	pronto	.	i	won't	waste	any	more	time	droning	about	how	bad	permanent	midnight	is	.	but	i	will	say	one	thing	:	at	least	it	explains	a	lot	about	"	alf	.	"
neg	michael	richards	leaves	his	spot	as	kramer	on	the	infamous	seinfeld	tv	sitcom	for	a	stint	as	a	lanky	,	goofy	best	friend	to	jeff	daniels'	lawyer	character	in	this	ill	fated	,	and	unfunny	,	"	comedy	"	.	plot	:	richard	the	actor	(	richards	)	has	to	take	the	place	of	charles	the	lawyer	(	daniels	)	in	a	real	court	case	,	after	charles	is	left	unintelligible	from	a	night	of	heavy	drinking	at	his	bachelor	party	.	the	film	follows	the	antics	of	the	two	men	as	they	try	to	get	away	with	their	tomfoolery	.	critique	:	this	movie	did	not	make	me	laugh	once	.	perhaps	it	was	because	i	was	tired	when	i	watched	it	.	perhaps	.	perhaps	it	was	because	i	had	seen	richards	perform	most	of	the	same	schtick	a	thousand	times	on	seinfeld	.	perhaps	.	perhaps	it	was	because	the	movie	just	wasn't	funny	.	absolutely	.	the	lack	of	humour	wasn't	the	only	issue	that	i	had	with	this	film	either	.	the	movie	attempts	to	weave	a	couple	of	love	stories	through	its	vision	,	but	unfortunately	,	they	are	also	lacking	in	conviction	,	believability	and	credibility	.	they	are	contrived	and	appear	to	be	placed	into	the	story	for	convenience	sake	.	the	actors	were	all	adequate	enough	in	their	roles	,	but	the	problem	didn't	lie	in	the	acting	.	i	wish	i	could	find	one	good	reason	for	you	to	see	this	waste	of	time	,	but	i	can't	.	unless	of	course	,	you	need	something	playing	on	your	tv	set	while	you	waste	some	time	around	the	house	.	overall	,	this	movie	stinks	.	on	the	good	side	,	charlize	theron	is	darn	cute	,	and	the	movie	is	no	longer	then	90	minutes	.	on	the	bad	side	,	this	movie	is	not	funny	,	interesting	or	enjoyable	in	any	which	way	possible	.	a	person	wouldn't	even	enjoy	his	nachos	while	watching	this	emptiness	.	please	skip	it	.	little	known	facts	:	jonathan	lynn	earned	a	degree	in	law	from	cambridge	before	becoming	an	actor	director	.	charlize	theron	grew	up	on	a	farm	outside	benoni	,	south	africa	,	as	the	only	child	.	at	the	age	of	18	her	mother	made	her	go	to	los	angeles	to	try	a	career	in	the	movie	industry	.	she	came	to	la	without	knowing	anyone	in	the	city	but	after	two	weeks	when	she	was	standing	in	line	on	hollywood	boulevard	an	agent	gave	her	his	card	.	after	eight	months	in	la	she	got	her	first	part	.	since	then	she	has	taken	acting	lessons	and	her	career	has	skyrocketed	,	specifically	in	devil's	advocate	(	8	10	)	.	charlize	was	narrowly	beat	out	by	elizabeth	berkley	for	the	lead	role	in	the	"	movie	"	,	showgirls	.	she	was	quoted	as	saying	"	it	was	like	i	had	some	guardian	angel	.	"	hr	visit	joblo's	movie	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	a
neg	silent	fall	has	the	shreds	and	shards	of	a	far	better	movie	lurking	around	inside	it	somewhere	.	it	takes	the	form	of	a	psychological	thriller	,	where	the	detectives	work	hand	in	glove	with	psychiatrists	to	disentangle	the	mind	of	a	witness	to	a	murder	.	the	witness	is	an	autistic	little	boy	,	and	there	are	strong	hints	that	he	is	probably	the	killer	as	well	after	all	,	they	found	him	swinging	the	knife	while	standing	over	his	parent's	corpses	.	richard	dreyfuss	is	the	psychiatrist	,	and	it	is	to	his	credit	that	he	does	the	best	job	he	can	in	a	movie	of	such	abysmal	silliness	.	he	has	one	very	nice	scene	where	he	uses	a	deck	of	cards	as	a	metaphor	for	how	to	jog	the	kid's	memory	.	unfortunately	,	like	so	many	other	ham	handed	scripts	,	the	metaphor	is	hammered	on	again	and	again	until	its	initial	charm	collapses	.	i	had	high	hopes	going	into	this	movie	.	for	the	most	part	,	psychiatrists	get	short	shrift	in	films	:	they	get	portrayed	as	soulless	technicians	(	one	flew	over	the	cuckoo's	nest	)	,	or	fiendish	maniacs	(	bad	dreams	)	,	or	goofy	and	ineffectual	softies	(	amos	andrew	)	.	dreyfuss	plays	a	fellow	with	smarts	and	presence	,	and	he	does	a	decent	job	of	soldiering	on	while	the	film	collapses	around	him	.	john	lithgow	gets	dragged	in	for	a	wasteful	little	cameo	as	a	drug	dispensing	doctor	,	which	reminded	me	of	what	a	good	actor	he	is	when	he's	not	in	junk	like	this	.	the	movie	has	so	few	real	ideas	about	its	alleged	subjects	that	it's	distressing	.	take	,	for	instance	,	the	murder	investigation	.	if	you	were	a	cop	,	would	you	let	the	children	of	the	murder	victims	live	in	their	house	while	it	would	still	be	a	crime	scene	?	the	movie's	insights	into	autism	are	also	pretty	much	nonexistent	.	autism	,	like	the	rest	of	the	movie's	conceits	with	psychology	,	are	just	cheap	hooks	onto	which	to	hang	the	rest	of	the	plot	.	and	if	there	is	another	thriller	out	there	with	a	more	contrived	mess	of	a	plot	than	this	one	write	me	,	i've	got	cigars	.	the	film's	big	climax	has	dreyfuss	getting	the	kid	to	re	enact	almost	on	cue	what	he	witnessed	.	never	mind	if	the	people	in	the	movie	watching	this	thought	it	was	believable	:	did	anyone	filming	it	think	it	was	believable	?	really	?
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trivia	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	by	the	numbers	:	a	film	which	introduces	characters	,	situations	,	dilemmas	and	developments	that	we've	seen	before	in	a	parade	of	other	films	.	a	film	which	can	easily	be	guessed	out	by	the	end	of	frame	number	one	.	a	film	which	is	packed	to	the	cap	with	predictability	,	leading	to	very	little	tension	,	excitement	,	suspense	or	interest	on	the	part	of	its	paying	audience	.	in	short	,	a	clich	ridden	formula	film	.	welcome	to	my	review	of	the	general's	daughter	.	plot	:	an	undercover	army	detective	and	a	rape	counselor	find	themselves	locked	inside	an	investigation	into	some	bigwig	general	daughter's	rape	,	torture	and	murder	.	they	must	delve	through	all	of	the	unspoken	army	rules	and	the	hush	hushes	,	to	figure	out	the	conspiracy	behind	the	shocking	murder	.	critique	:	by	the	numbers	(	see	above	)	.	this	film	is	just	there	.	it	sits	there	on	the	big	screen	for	a	couple	of	hours	,	floats	around	,	goes	away	,	hopefully	never	to	be	heard	from	again	.	it	is	so	predictable	that	even	a	blind	man	could	see	its	plot	points	coming	a	mile	away	.	it's	as	suspenseful	as	a	leaf	dropping	from	a	tree	.	it's	as	action	packed	as	a	canadian	curling	tournament	.	get	the	picture	?	i	sure	did	.	.	.	it's	too	bad	that	it	took	my	friend	and	i	less	than	two	minutes	to	figure	out	the	entire	plot	,	and	to	break	down	each	scene	before	it	was	even	completed	.	easy	as	pie	.	it's	unfortunate	because	james	woods	and	john	travolta	actually	have	one	extremely	enjoyable	scene	together	near	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	but	alas	,	t'was	not	to	be	(	that	scene	alone	scored	two	of	my	four	points	allotted	.	)	woods	chews	it	up	in	the	few	scenes	that	he's	in	,	travolta	passes	the	test	,	cromwell	plays	,	well	,	cromwell	,	and	stowe	is	window	dressing	with	a	smile	(	mia	since	12	monkeys	(	8	10	)	it	seems	)	.	and	this	predictability	isn't	reserved	only	to	those	who	have	seen	films	like	courage	under	fire	or	a	few	good	men	,	it	runs	deep	inside	every	one	of	us	who	knows	to	suspect	someone	as	soon	as	they	see	their	obvious	guilty	mug	on	the	big	screen	.	it's	like	riding	a	bike	.	other	scenarios	which	sponge	out	any	tension	,	suspense	or	interest	from	this	film	include	every	single	character	eventually	"	breaking	down	"	to	the	investigators	without	much	reason	given	,	a	ridiculously	placed	background	relationship	between	two	of	the	lead	characters	,	as	much	action	as	my	grandparents	bedroom	nightly	,	and	a	directorial	style	that	can	only	reward	director	simon	west	with	a	solid	nomination	for	the	"	best	poor	man's	michael	bay	doing	his	best	poor	man's	impression	of	tony	scott	"	(	add	two	scenes	with	sunlight	shining	through	some	half	open	shades	for	grit	and	integrity	,	and	an	all	out	rainfall	for	the	finale	for	further	chaos	,	and	you're	a	great	director	.	yawn	.	yeah	,	whatever	tony	.	.	.	i	mean	,	simon	.	)	and	aren't	we	all	sick	of	hearing	about	these	army	"	bad	boys	"	and	their	overdone	"	code	of	silence	"	?	!	enough	already	!	next	subject	,	please	.	see	it	on	video	if	you	wanna	fall	asleep	after	seeing	a	much	better	movie	like	an	officer	and	a	gentleman	(	8	.	5	10	)	.	otherwise	,	save	yourself	the	trouble	and	go	take	a	crap	instead	.	you'll	feel	much	better	afterwards	.	trust	me	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	ironically	,	john	travolta	turned	down	the	lead	role	in	an	officer	and	a	gentleman	,	which	eventually	went	to	little	dickie	gere	.	ironically	on	james	woods'	part	,	he	completed	one	of	his	earliest	acting	roles	on	tv's	"	welcome	back	,	kotter	"	,	starring	none	other	than	john	travolta	.	actor	james	woods	recently	confirmed	reports	of	his	"	big	dick	"	on	howard	stern's	radio	program	.	unlike	rocker	tommy	lee	,	woods	is	also	alleged	to	have	an	iq	of	180	.	he	apparently	scored	a	perfect	800	on	his	verbal	sats	and	a	779	on	the	math	section	.	what	a	man	!	john	travolta	is	married	to	actress	kelly	preston	,	and	they	have	a	son	named	jett	(	travolta	loves	them	planes	!	)	.	word	on	the	street	is	that	the	kid	was	apparently	conceived	during	a	weekend	at	demi	moore	and	bruce	willis'	home	.	director	simon	west's	first	film	was	the	jerry	bruckheimer	produced	con	air	(	6	.	5	10	)	.	before	that	,	he	directed	tv	commercials	including	the	budweiser	ad	with	the	dancing	ants	.	yippee	!	veteran	director	john	frankenheimer	(	ronin	(	7	.	5	10	)	,	the	manchurian	candidate	)	portrays	the	character	of	general	sonnenberg	in	this	film	.	the	imdb	reports	that	when	senator	robert	kennedy	was	shot	at	the	ambassador	hotel	in	los	angeles	on	june	5	,	1968	,	it	was	his	good	friend	john	frankenheimer	who	had	personally	driven	him	there	that	day	.	clarence	williams	iii	,	who	plays	colonel	fowler	in	this	film	,	is	known	to	some	from	his	role	as	"	linc	"	in	the	original	"	mod	squad	"	tv	series	.	younger	folk	may	remember	him	as	prince's	father	in	purple	rain	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	pete	croatto	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c07fa1f8af5471768825695c00674d56	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c07fa1f8af5471768825695c00674d56	?	opendocument	a	in	duets	,	karaoke	bars	dominate	the	american	western	landscape	like	taco	bells	and	starbucks	.	they're	in	every	major	city	and	full	of	hot	,	young	people	swaying	while	marginally	talented	participants	sing	weather	girls	covers	.	karaoke	is	a	craze	,	the	way	dandruff	or	waxy	ears	are	a	craze	.	i	like	to	think	i'm	pretty	pop	culture	savvy	,	thanks	to	years	of	reading	rolling	stone	and	entertainment	weekly	.	but	i	don't	remember	reading	one	article	about	karaoke	clubs	being	the	discos	of	our	times	.
neg	director	:	robert	mandel	written	by	:	roy	frumkes	alan	ormsby	rocco	simonelli	cast	:	tom	berenger	,	diane	venora	,	ernie	hudson	rating	:	out	of	run	time	:	approx	.	114	minutes	the	premise	of	this	movie	is	,	well	,	pretty	far	fetched	.	tom	berenger	plays	shale	,	a	mercenary	who	is	temporarily	out	of	work	(	those	fools	at	the	cia	have	denied	his	existence	just	because	he	and	his	buddies	botched	a	job	in	cuba	)	.	fortunately	,	his	girl	friend	(	diane	venora	)	,	a	teacher	at	christopher	columbus	high	school	in	miami	,	gets	her	knee	cap	broken	by	a	disgruntled	student	,	creating	a	job	opening	for	shale	as	a	substitute	teacher	.	not	telling	his	girl	friend	,	who	might	object	on	pedagogical	grounds	,	he	creates	a	number	of	fake	higher	degrees	for	himself	(	from	yale	,	harvard	,	princeton	,	et	al	)	and	begins	his	tenure	as	a	high	school	teacher	.	the	students	(	junkies	,	drug	dealers	,	gang	members	,	sleazy	sluts	,	ice	pick	wielders	.	.	.	you	get	the	picture	)	don't	really	take	to	him	right	away	,	so	he	hits	one	in	the	face	with	a	can	and	breaks	a	few	fingers	.	this	gets	their	attention	to	a	certain	extent	,	so	he	tells	them	the	story	of	the	vietnam	war	:	"	see	,	some	homeboys	from	the	north	tried	to	muscle	in	on	the	turf	of	the	homeboys	from	the	south	.	"	oh	yeah	,	now	they	can	dig	it	;	the	problem	is	just	that	nobody	ever	explained	it	properly	before	.	but	wait	!	there	are	drugs	being	dealt	in	the	school	itself	!	and	behind	the	whole	scheme	,	in	cahoots	with	the	head	gang	,	the	kod	(	no	,	not	"	cod	"	,	but	"	knights	of	destruction	"	.	.	.	really	!	)	,	is	none	other	than	.	.	.	the	upright	,	ex	cop	principal	,	played	by	the	forgotten	ghostbuster	,	ernie	hudson	!	so	shale	does	what	any	good	teacher	would	do	.	he	gets	his	buddies	together	,	they	gather	together	a	bunch	of	bazookas	and	other	major	weapons	,	explosives	,	and	cool	stuff	like	that	,	and	they	have	a	big	showdown	against	the	drug	dealers	and	kod	at	the	high	school	.	ok	,	so	the	premise	is	not	just	far	fetched	,	it's	downright	dumb	.	if	this	were	a	hong	kong	action	comedy	,	we	might	just	accept	it	,	but	it	takes	itself	far	too	seriously	to	be	truly	fun	.	oh	,	it	has	its	moments	;	how	one	can	truly	hate	a	movie	in	which	huge	(	really	huge	)	amounts	of	cocaine	are	delivered	in	school	busses	?	and	to	be	fair	,	it	is	almost	never	really	boring	,	as	the	action	is	interrupted	by	only	short	sequences	of	actual	story	.	but	over	all	,	this	is	pretty	much	a	made	for	tv	movie	with	more	(	and	bigger	)	explosions	and	more	foul	language	.	in	fact	,	it	reminded	me	of	"	miami	vice	"	without	the	production	values	,	babes	in	skimpy	bikinis	,	and	pastels	.	if	you	can	sneak	into	the	theater	without	paying	,	go	for	it	.	otherwise	,	wait	for	video	.	the	flying	inkpot	rating	system	:	wait	for	the	tv2	broadcast	.	a	little	creaky	,	but	still	better	than	staying	at	home	with	gotcha	!	pretty	good	,	bring	a	friend	.	amazing	,	potent	stuff	.	perfection	.	see	it	twice	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	current	film	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	a
neg	there	is	only	so	much	star	power	that	you	can	handle	.	several	films	base	their	success	on	their	main	star	,	thinking	that	they	will	be	a	big	draw	whether	or	not	the	film	is	any	good	.	i	think	that	this	must	have	been	what	was	on	the	minds	of	the	people	who	created	payback	,	a	new	mel	gibson	thriller	that	doesn	t	really	thrill	.	the	public	seems	to	trust	mel	when	it	comes	to	making	good	action	movies	,	after	this	i	wonder	if	anyone	will	.	what	starts	out	as	an	ultra	violent	revenge	movie	ends	as	an	ultra	violent	revenge	movie	with	not	much	difference	in	between	.	porter	(	gibson	,	who	s	right	for	the	role	but	can	t	pull	it	off	)	was	betrayed	by	his	partner	and	his	wife	when	they	all	stole	135	,	000	.	they	leave	him	for	dead	in	a	parking	lot	.	but	porter	is	alive	and	(	depending	on	your	point	of	view	)	well	,	he	plans	to	seek	them	out	,	retrieve	his	70	,	000	,	and	get	some	good	old	fashioned	revenge	.	but	in	order	to	find	the	guy	,	who	know	works	for	a	drug	lord	,	he	ll	have	to	kill	a	bunch	of	people	and	a	bunch	of	people	will	have	to	seriously	hurt	him	and	all	of	them	do	it	as	if	their	having	fun	.	somehow	,	(	i	don	t	really	get	this	)	they	must	plan	the	ultimate	plan	to	get	away	from	the	two	corrupt	cops	that	are	following	them	and	escape	from	an	evil	guy	(	kris	kristofferson	)	who	s	son	they	kidnap	.	will	mel	gibson	die	?	or	will	he	overcome	the	bad	guys	?	seriously	,	does	anyone	not	know	the	answer	to	those	questions	?	payback	is	an	example	of	what	is	wrong	with	out	culture	.	the	film	is	extremely	violent	,	but	the	thing	that	bothered	me	is	that	plenty	of	that	violence	didn	t	seem	to	be	occurring	for	a	reason	.	another	depressing	factor	of	the	film	was	that	everything	was	shot	when	it	was	really	cloudy	or	with	no	light	,	there	isn	t	one	scene	in	the	movie	that	has	an	lighting	at	all	.	plus	lucy	liu	s	character	,	a	hooker	that	s	into	s	m	isn	t	interesting	even	though	there	s	several	moments	where	she	could	be	.	she	s	basically	the	only	woman	in	this	that	kills	a	lot	of	people	.	i	also	see	no	reason	why	the	female	characters	were	in	this	film	at	all	because	they	didn	t	bare	their	chests	,	which	in	this	type	of	movie	,	seems	like	the	only	important	thing	they	could	do	.	the	film	played	to	me	as	kind	of	an	old	detective	story	,	you	can	kind	of	sense	gibson	doing	a	humphrey	bogart	thing	as	he	narrates	a	lot	of	the	story	.	but	this	film	is	way	too	much	like	twilight	,	starring	paul	newman	,	to	be	any	good	.	female	gibson	fans	will	be	treated	to	only	a	brief	glimpse	of	his	chest	in	the	shower	,	this	is	definitely	a	guy	movie	.	so	,	if	your	looking	to	see	a	bunch	of	people	get	killed	,	punched	,	have	their	feet	hit	with	hammers	and	whips	,	spanked	,	and	shot	,	see	payback	which	gets	star	.	the	young	uns	:	bloody	and	brutal	violence	and	shooting	accompany	almost	every	scene	.	s	m	sex	scenes	,	heavy	smoking	,	and	language	also	occur	.	good	age	17	up	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	a
neg	adrenalin	:	fear	the	rush	(	1996	)	a	"	turkey	of	the	week	"	film	review	by	justin	felix	copyright	1998	justin	felix	written	and	directed	by	albert	pyun	starring	christopher	lambert	,	natasha	henstridge	rated	r	(	contains	violence	and	profanity	)	76	minutes	synopsis	:	a	maniac	,	crazed	by	virulent	microphage	,	slaughters	more	than	twenty	people	,	including	a	street	gang	and	heavily	armed	troops	,	with	a	small	knife	.	even	with	a	handgun	,	however	,	he	can't	take	out	the	two	cops	who	are	after	him	,	despite	having	shot	one	of	them	a	total	of	seven	times	.	comments	:	the	most	notable	aspect	of	adrenalin	:	fear	the	rush	is	that	it	marks	a	striking	career	move	for	natasha	henstridge	.	not	only	does	she	manage	to	keep	all	her	clothes	on	(	her	trademark	in	earlier	films	such	as	species	and	maximum	risk	was	to	strip	naked	as	often	as	possible	)	,	but	she	actually	puts	on	even	more	clothes	as	the	film	progresses	.	this	will	probably	disappoint	many	henstridge	fans	,	but	i	welcome	the	change	because	henstridge	is	an	attractive	,	capable	actress	who	deserves	less	exploitative	roles	(	though	,	i	admit	,	it	doesn't	show	in	this	mess	)	.	henstridge	,	just	like	every	other	actor	in	the	film	,	delivers	a	wooden	performance	in	this	monumental	turkey	.	(	the	cast	also	includes	christopher	lambert	,	who	has	appeared	in	the	highlander	and	mortal	kombat	films	.	)	how	on	earth	this	movie	got	two	big	name	stars	to	appear	in	it	is	beyond	me	.	adrenalin	:	fear	the	rush	is	set	in	boston	ten	years	in	the	future	(	2007	)	.	boston	has	changed	dramatically	in	those	ten	years	.	it	is	now	home	to	a	bunch	of	interred	foreigners	and	policed	by	cops	who	drive	around	in	small	cars	with	"	policia	"	printed	on	their	doors	.	some	guy	has	a	really	bad	virus	,	and	he's	killing	people	because	of	it	.	so	,	the	brave	good	guys	(	lambert	and	henstridge	)	go	after	him	.	that's	it	.	76	minutes	never	seemed	so	long	.	this	is	a	drawn	out	chase	scene	through	dimly	lit	abandoned	buildings	turned	into	an	entire	movie	.	the	plot	development	is	nil	;	we	learn	absolutely	nothing	about	lambert's	character	and	very	little	about	henstridge's	character	.	the	dialogue	is	littered	with	unnecessary	obscenities	and	concerns	mindnumbingly	idiotic	arguments	over	who	will	go	down	the	next	dark	corridor	tunnel	airduct	next	and	who	will	carry	the	flashlight	.	a	subplot	does	exist	involving	henstridge's	character's	illegal	attempt	to	get	her	son	out	of	boston	.	in	her	opening	monologue	,	a	monologue	which	sounds	as	though	henstridge	was	reading	from	cue	cards	,	we	learn	that	she	has	gone	to	great	lengths	to	secure	a	fake	passport	for	her	son	.	twenty	minutes	into	the	film	,	i	wondered	if	the	movie	would	have	been	better	if	it	focused	on	this	plot	.	in	a	defining	scene	of	the	movie	,	however	,	i	changed	my	mind	.	this	fake	passport	drops	to	the	ground	.	lambert's	cop	immediately	recognizes	it	as	a	fraud	from	six	feet	away	.	must	not	have	been	a	good	fake	.	this	emphasizes	another	fault	with	the	film	.	things	just	defy	common	sense	.	lambert's	cop	,	for	instance	,	is	shot	seven	times	,	yet	he	is	still	able	to	talk	and	slide	about	.	adrenalin	:	fear	the	rush	ends	in	a	trite	manner	that	doesn't	seem	to	even	fit	the	mood	that	the	filmmakers	were	trying	for	.	i	found	myself	rather	bored	with	this	film	,	which	will	disappoint	both	sci	fi	horror	fans	and	fans	of	henstridge	and	lambert	.	don't	fear	the	rush	.	fear	the	movie	.	watch	something	else	.
neg	director	:	richard	t	.	heffron	screenplay	:	larry	cohen	(	based	on	the	novel	by	mickey	spillane	)	stars	:	armand	assante	(	mike	hammer	)	,	barbara	carrera	(	dr	.	charlotte	bennett	)	,	laurene	landon	(	velda	)	,	alan	king	(	charles	kalecki	)	,	geoffrey	lewis	(	joe	butler	)	,	paul	sorvino	(	detective	pat	chambers	)	,	judson	scott	(	charles	hendricks	)	,	barry	snider	(	romero	)	,	julia	barr	(	norma	childs	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	review	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	in	the	1982	updating	of	mickey	spillane's	1947	novel	"	i	,	the	jury	,	"	hard	boiled	detective	mike	hammer	is	a	vietnam	vet	who	drives	a	shiny	bronze	trans	am	,	dresses	like	don	johnson	in	"	miami	vice	"	with	less	pastels	,	and	has	sworn	off	alcohol	.	however	,	he	still	smokes	his	lucky	strikes	,	detests	all	forms	of	authority	,	and	kills	at	a	whim	.	beyond	that	,	the	updated	film	retains	little	or	no	resemblance	to	the	original	pulpy	page	turner	by	spillane	,	probably	the	most	infamous	and	often	reviled	of	all	mystery	writers	.	the	movie	starts	off	with	a	bang	:	a	howler	of	an	opening	credits	sequence	that	is	a	cheap	steal	from	the	james	bond	series	,	complete	with	cheesy	graphics	and	an	overbearing	jazz	score	by	bill	conti	(	"	rocky	"	)	.	after	that	,	the	movie	and	the	book	begin	the	same	,	with	the	murder	of	jack	williams	(	frederick	downs	)	,	a	one	armed	detective	and	hammer's	best	friend	.	hammer	declares	that	he	will	seek	vengeance	for	jack's	death	,	and	with	the	help	of	his	devoted	secretary	,	the	blond	and	shapely	velda	(	laurene	landon	)	,	and	the	alternately	friendly	antagonistic	police	chief	pat	chambers	(	paul	sorvino	)	,	he	is	immediately	on	the	killer's	trail	.	here	the	movie	splits	completely	from	the	book	,	and	dives	into	a	convoluted	and	improbable	tale	of	government	conspiracy	and	mind	control	tactics	involving	the	mafia	,	the	cia	,	one	of	hammer's	vietnam	vet	buddies	,	and	a	kinky	sex	clinic	.	many	of	the	same	characters	from	the	book	appear	in	the	movie	,	but	they	take	on	slightly	different	roles	.	for	instance	,	charles	kalecki	(	alan	king	)	,	a	numbers	runner	and	narcotics	dealer	in	the	book	,	turns	into	a	suave	mob	boss	.	and	,	more	importantly	,	hammer's	suspicious	love	interest	,	charlotte	bennett	(	barbara	carrera	)	,	morphs	from	a	run	of	the	mill	psychiatrist	into	the	coordinator	and	founder	of	the	sex	clinic	.	"	i	,	the	jury	"	is	one	of	several	cinematic	renditions	of	spillane's	books	(	including	a	1953	version	which	was	made	in	3	d	)	,	but	this	film	differs	from	those	earlier	versions	in	one	major	way	:	it	includes	all	of	the	sex	and	violence	spillane	wrote	about	that	could	never	be	given	screen	treatment	due	to	hollywood's	production	code	.	although	this	takes	the	1982	version	of	"	i	,	the	jury	"	closer	to	the	core	of	the	original	subject	matter	,	it	is	in	this	aspect	that	the	film	received	the	most	criticism	,	because	it	took	this	new	license	to	extremes	that	many	argued	surpassed	what	was	in	the	book	.	rest	assured	,	the	movie	not	only	includes	a	great	deal	of	nudity	,	but	it	is	thoroughly	violent	,	especially	toward	women	.	it	features	one	woman	having	her	neck	slashed	,	a	set	of	twins	forced	to	strip	before	being	stabbed	to	death	by	a	psychotic	sexual	deviant	programmed	by	the	cia	(	judson	scott	)	,	and	another	woman	shot	point	blank	in	the	belly	by	hammer	himself	.	no	one	would	deny	that	spillane's	writing	has	a	definite	misogynistic	nature	,	but	the	movie	seems	to	take	it	a	step	further	by	giving	it	such	glorious	screen	treatment	;	its	constant	equation	of	sex	and	violence	,	much	of	which	is	played	with	the	intention	of	being	erotic	,	is	quite	unsettling	.	it's	no	surprise	that	the	movie	,	like	the	book	,	fades	to	black	with	a	dead	woman	on	the	floor	.	"	i	,	the	jury	"	had	a	troubled	production	and	was	not	well	supported	by	the	studio	that	made	it	,	which	is	one	explanation	why	it	didn't	do	well	in	theaters	and	many	people	have	forgotten	that	it	was	ever	made	.	the	script	was	written	by	larry	cohen	,	who	is	best	known	for	his	creatively	cheesy	but	nonetheless	effective	monster	movies	,	like	"	it's	alive	"	(	1974	)	and	its	two	sequels	,	"	q	"	(	1981	)	,	and	"	the	stuff	"	(	1985	)	.	cohen	wrote	the	script	thinking	he	was	going	to	helm	the	project	as	well	,	but	he	was	yanked	from	the	director's	chair	after	only	a	week's	worth	of	shooting	because	he	was	already	100	,	000	over	budget	.	he	was	quickly	replaced	by	richard	t	.	heffron	,	who	has	worked	for	the	last	three	decades	on	a	handful	of	undistinguished	movies	and	dozens	of	television	projects	.	heffron	was	obviously	brought	in	not	for	his	talent	,	but	because	he	could	make	the	movie	rapidly	and	efficiently	.	it	shows	in	the	final	product	.	cohen	had	personal	interest	in	the	updated	version	of	hammer	,	but	heffron	has	none	.	he	shot	the	movie	quickly	and	clumsily	,	and	although	some	scenes	ring	true	,	most	of	them	are	flat	,	trite	,	and	invariably	dull	.	the	movie	features	numerous	car	chases	,	shoot	outs	,	and	stunts	,	but	heffron's	background	in	television	is	the	dominant	tone	;	despite	the	graphic	violence	and	full	frontal	nudity	,	"	i	,	the	jury	,	"	takes	on	the	air	of	a	made	for	tv	quickie	,	with	no	real	punch	or	depth	.	but	the	problems	in	"	i	,	the	jury	"	run	deeper	than	the	technical	.	the	central	fault	in	this	updating	is	mike	hammer	,	whose	character	was	lost	in	the	shuffle	while	updating	from	the	fifties	to	the	eighties	.	because	spillane	wrote	all	his	hammer	mysteries	in	the	first	person	,	hammer's	character	is	central	to	the	tale	because	all	the	events	are	filtered	through	his	persona	.	we	never	really	get	that	impression	in	the	movie	there	is	no	first	person	voice	over	narration	and	some	scenes	don't	have	hammer	in	them	at	all	.	consequently	,	a	great	deal	of	the	texture	of	spillane's	storytelling	is	lost	.	the	period	updating	turns	out	to	be	a	detrimentally	bad	idea	because	much	of	hammer's	moral	code	is	thrown	to	the	wind	.	despite	his	characterization	as	a	hard	nosed	,	violent	,	misogynistic	killer	,	hammer	always	stuck	fervently	to	his	own	moral	code	.	the	title	itself	,	"	i	,	the	jury	,	"	refers	to	his	anti	establishment	notion	of	being	his	own	law	.	unlike	private	eyes	who	seek	out	the	bad	guys	and	then	turn	them	over	the	police	,	hammer	both	pursues	the	criminal	and	exacts	the	punishment	.	in	this	way	,	he	can	be	seen	as	"	above	the	law	,	"	but	he	still	adheres	strictly	to	her	own	personal	code	of	conduct	,	his	own	morality	.	the	movie	forgoes	that	aspect	of	his	character	,	and	hammer	comes	off	not	only	as	amoral	in	society's	terms	,	but	in	any	terms	,	especially	his	own	.	if	anything	,	hammer	always	had	his	professionalism	,	but	the	movie	does	away	with	that	in	the	first	three	minutes	by	showing	him	rolling	in	the	sack	with	the	wife	of	a	client	who	had	paid	him	to	find	out	if	that	wife	was	being	unfaithful	.	maybe	the	scene	was	intended	for	laughs	,	but	it	only	cheapens	hammer's	character	and	is	,	by	all	accounts	,	a	lousy	way	to	start	the	movie	.	the	blame	for	hammer's	character	can't	be	laid	on	assante's	shoulders	,	because	despite	some	unnecessary	marlon	brandon	like	mumbling	,	he	delivers	a	fine	performance	.	spillane	never	once	described	hammer's	physical	attributes	in	any	of	the	dozen	books	in	which	he	appeared	,	so	any	actor	could	conceivably	portray	him	.	of	course	,	because	of	the	lack	of	written	description	,	those	who	have	read	spillane's	books	will	have	a	strong	personal	notion	of	what	hammer	looks	like	,	and	therefore	almost	any	screen	incarnation	will	somehow	fall	short	of	expectations	(	spillane	,	who	played	the	character	himself	in	1963's	"	the	girl	hunters	,	"	is	generally	considered	the	best	of	the	film	hammers	)	.	the	rest	of	actors	are	most	un	noteworthy	.	with	the	exceptions	of	alan	king	and	paul	sorvino	,	everyone	who	appeared	in	"	i	,	the	jury	"	were	up	and	comers	who	basically	went	nowhere	.	many	of	them	ended	up	working	in	television	(	like	carrera	,	who	had	a	short	stint	on	"	dallas	"	in	the	mid	eighties	)	,	which	only	adds	to	the	made	for	tv	atmosphere	of	the	film	.	maybe	someday	,	someone	will	manage	to	get	the	right	elements	together	and	make	an	effective	film	rendition	of	a	spillane	book	,	but	this	is	certainly	not	it	.
neg	the	u	.	s	.	army	utilizes	a	number	of	books	known	as	field	manuals	which	stipulate	the	specific	way	in	which	almost	every	action	imaginable	must	be	done	.	one	particular	field	manual	is	known	as	the	fm	22	5	,	which	among	other	things	,	covers	the	practice	of	saluting	.	under	the	"	saluting	"	section	is	a	sub	section	which	covers	how	a	salute	is	rendered	by	a	military	work	detail	in	the	presence	of	a	superior	officer	.	the	salute	is	rendered	by	the	highest	ranking	individual	present	when	the	superior	officer	comes	within	six	paces	of	the	detail	,	and	is	dropped	when	the	officer	passes	six	paces	from	the	detail	.	in	any	event	,	the	salute	is	rendered	only	by	the	man	(	or	woman	)	in	charge	,	rather	than	by	the	whole	group	.	almost	at	the	very	beginning	of	the	general's	daughter	,	we	see	a	general's	motorcade	passing	a	work	detail	.	everyone	salutes	.	it	looked	impressive	,	but	it	just	wasn't	right	.	that	little	bit	showed	me	that	someone	either	didn't	do	the	appropriate	research	,	or	made	the	conscious	decision	to	go	with	style	over	substance	for	the	scene	.	in	fact	,	this	would	serve	as	a	metaphor	for	the	rest	of	the	picture	,	as	it	seems	director	simon	west	tried	so	hard	to	craft	a	film	with	atmosphere	and	flash	that	he	forgot	a	coherent	story	and	good	characterization	are	also	crucial	to	a	good	movie	.	what	results	is	a	film	that	looks	good	,	but	like	that	one	scene	,	just	isn't	right	.	the	first	fifteen	minutes	of	the	film	is	a	good	example	.	paul	brenner	(	john	travolta	)	is	an	agent	for	the	army's	criminal	investigation	division	,	undercover	at	a	georgia	army	base	to	investigate	an	illegal	arms	sale	.	prior	to	the	transaction	,	the	buyer	gets	a	whiff	that	brenner	isn't	the	unscrupulous	supply	sergeant	he's	supposed	to	be	,	and	later	that	night	attempts	to	kill	him	by	shooting	up	the	houseboat	on	which	brenner	is	living	.	so	ensues	a	cat	and	mouse	action	sequence	which	ends	like	a	certain	scene	in	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	(	we'll	just	say	that	it	involves	propellers	)	.	brenner	then	receives	new	orders	when	the	commanding	general's	daughter	,	captain	elisabeth	campbell	(	leslie	stefanson	)	,	is	found	naked	,	bound	,	and	dead	on	one	of	the	base's	training	ranges	.	he	is	teamed	with	rape	investigator	sarah	sunhill	(	madeleine	stowe	)	to	uncover	the	truth	about	the	peculiarly	gruesome	murder	.	what	i	want	to	know	is	why	the	whole	action	scene	with	the	arms	buyer	was	even	necessary	.	it	gives	no	insight	into	brenner	,	other	than	the	fact	that	he's	a	little	cocky	.	does	the	arms	subplot	turn	up	later	?	no	,	so	why	add	this	extra	running	time	to	the	film	?	the	answer	:	it	looked	cool	.	or	how	about	the	"	atmosphere	"	?	the	beginning	of	the	general's	daughter	presents	us	with	imagery	of	the	deep	south	thick	trees	,	dirt	roads	,	sultry	colors	over	water	all	backed	up	with	bayouesque	music	.	nice	immersion	in	the	setting	,	but	it	soon	doesn't	matter	,	for	when	the	film's	plot	shifts	over	to	the	murder	investigation	,	so	does	the	entire	mood	.	no	attention	is	paid	to	the	location	of	the	story	,	and	the	music	is	altered	to	fit	a	very	generic	thriller	theme	.	did	the	filmmakers	start	out	thinking	they	were	making	a	different	movie	?	instead	of	creating	a	cohesive	atmospheric	theme	for	the	entire	film	,	we	get	the	distraction	of	one	of	theme	followed	by	another	,	just	because	the	director	thought	he	should	show	off	some	of	the	countryside	.	the	above	examples	also	serve	to	illustrate	that	inconsistency	is	another	problem	with	this	movie	.	as	i've	already	mentioned	,	an	entire	section	of	the	film	doesn't	jibe	with	the	rest	,	and	the	characterization	only	adds	to	the	difficulty	.	brenner	,	who	comes	across	as	a	man	with	little	respect	for	authority	,	suddenly	snaps	to	in	the	presence	of	general	campbell	(	james	cromwell	)	and	utters	some	of	the	corniest	"	yes	,	sir	"	s	i've	ever	heard	.	he	even	delivers	an	emotion	charged	monologue	about	why	he	will	work	so	hard	to	catch	the	person	who	killed	the	general's	daughter	,	even	though	he	was	totally	flippant	about	the	whole	thing	just	a	couple	of	minutes	previous	.	sunhill	,	who	initially	comes	across	as	a	professional	investigator	,	utilizes	a	couple	of	blatantly	illegal	methods	to	obtain	information	,	and	even	revels	in	her	ingenuity	.	both	characters	are	protagonists	,	but	it's	hard	to	get	behind	them	when	their	personalities	are	all	over	the	place	,	and	in	some	cases	,	simply	unappealing	.	i	could	imagine	that	during	filming	,	west	would	shoot	a	scene	,	then	take	the	actors	aside	and	tell	them	,	"	let's	do	it	again	,	but	this	time	,	i	want	more	.	"	i	say	this	because	although	travolta	and	stowe	are	normally	very	good	,	in	this	film	they	overact	in	most	of	their	scenes	.	an	even	worse	offender	is	clarence	williams	iii	as	the	general's	aide	,	colonel	fowler	.	i	swear	the	guy	says	all	of	his	lines	from	the	position	of	attention	.	a	far	cry	from	his	days	as	linc	in	"	the	mod	squad	"	,	i	can't	help	but	think	he	was	acting	from	west's	direction	.	a	couple	of	side	characters	including	a	west	point	psychologist	(	john	beasly	)	and	a	young	female	private	(	ariyan	a	.	johnson	)	make	their	scenes	nearly	impossible	to	bear	.	the	only	two	actors	who	seem	to	have	escaped	west's	influence	are	james	woods	,	who	provides	a	good	performance	as	colonel	moore	,	elisabeth's	mentor	at	the	psychological	operations	unit	,	and	timothy	hutton	as	colonel	kent	of	the	military	police	.	woods	relishes	the	role	of	a	man	whose	job	is	playing	with	people's	minds	,	and	does	so	without	ever	taking	it	over	the	top	.	hutton	just	kind	of	hangs	around	,	but	at	least	he	wasn't	overacting	.	i	haven't	read	the	nelson	demille	novel	on	which	this	movie	was	based	,	but	i'll	bet	more	than	a	few	dollars	that	the	story	was	better	in	book	form	.	the	movie	version	has	got	characters	which	come	and	go	with	little	or	nothing	to	do	except	fill	up	space	,	or	provide	bits	of	information	which	seem	to	neither	mean	anything	in	terms	of	advancing	the	story	nor	reveal	any	significance	once	the	whole	story	is	finished	.	every	time	we're	presented	with	some	new	aspect	to	the	case	,	west	gives	us	more	of	that	flash	by	playing	it	up	like	it's	the	most	momentous	discovery	ever	,	but	the	information	is	not	used	by	the	investigators	at	all	.	instead	,	when	conclusions	are	drawn	,	they	are	such	tremendous	leaps	of	faith	that	you	wonder	if	successful	investigations	are	not	based	on	facts	,	but	lucky	guesses	instead	.	the	army	should	have	saved	time	by	bringing	in	brennan	and	sunhill	,	letting	them	play	a	game	of	twenty	questions	with	the	suspects	,	then	letting	them	guess	who	the	killer	was	.	would've	been	over	in	a	half	hour	.	the	film	finishes	with	a	sort	of	bookend	,	featuring	the	same	style	and	southern	scenery	as	the	very	beginning	.	literally	during	the	closing	credits	,	we	get	to	see	brennan	get	in	his	car	and	drive	off	,	then	we	get	to	see	sunhill	get	in	her	car	and	drive	off	.	they	both	seem	kind	of	happy	.	maybe	they	were	driving	away	from	simon	west	.
neg	starring	tom	hanks	,	meg	ryan	,	rosie	o'donnell	,	ross	malinger	,	bill	pullman	.	rated	pg	.	i	have	nothing	against	unabashedly	romantic	films	.	when	done	right	,	with	at	least	slightly	evident	restraint	,	they	can	be	engaging	,	sweeping	,	appealing	.	but	it's	a	hell	of	a	shame	when	someone	botches	it	as	badly	as	nora	ephron	botched	sleepless	in	seattle	,	a	hollow	,	boring	romance	that	should	appeal	only	to	the	most	gullible	of	viewers	;	the	ones	willing	to	buy	into	ephron's	whiny	views	of	life	and	romance	.	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	,	two	of	hollywood's	most	likeable	stars	play	sam	baldwin	and	annie	reed	,	repectively	.	baldwin's	wife	recently	died	and	he	moved	to	seattle	with	his	son	,	jonah	,	seeking	to	get	away	from	the	familiar	surroundings	which	remind	him	of	his	late	spouse	.	jonah	senses	tension	and	calls	a	talk	radio	show	to	tell	the	world	about	their	problems	.	sam	seems	ready	to	strangle	his	son	for	calling	the	show	,	but	when	he	gets	on	the	phone	he	begins	pouring	his	heart	out	.	ephron	has	him	do	this	so	that	annie	reed	(	meg	ryan	)	can	hear	it	.	annie	is	a	happy	woman	.	she	is	engaged	to	walter	,	an	allergy	prone	working	man	and	seems	to	be	perfectly	content	.	but	after	hearing	sam	the	widower	on	the	radio	show	,	she	becomes	convinced	that	he	is	her	destiny	and	is	willing	to	risk	her	engagement	for	it	.	five	years	after	this	movie	hit	theaters	,	hanks	,	ryan	and	ephron	would	team	up	again	in	the	far	better	,	although	still	sub	par	romantic	comedy	you've	got	mail	,	which	is	about	people	who	hate	each	other	in	real	life	falling	in	love	on	the	internet	.	at	least	that	movie	had	a	sense	of	spontaneity	.	here	it	seems	that	the	first	one	hundred	minutes	exist	solely	to	set	up	for	the	last	five	.	the	fact	that	sam	and	annie	will	finally	meet	is	so	excruciatingly	obvious	that	everything	else	is	perfunctory	.	sleepless	in	seattle	is	full	of	wonderful	performers	;	from	its	two	leads	to	supporting	stars	like	bill	pullman	and	rosie	o'donnell	.	but	none	of	them	can	save	the	film	from	being	a	bore	.	its	characters	are	dull	and	empty	,	its	script	isn't	funny	or	particularly	charming	.	the	script	has	a	fundamental	problem	:	annie	gives	up	,	for	little	reason	,	her	life	with	walter	to	pursue	"	sleepless	in	seattle	,	"	whom	she	has	never	even	seen	.	it's	the	kind	of	life	decision	that	real	people	don't	make	,	and	its	a	major	,	unforgivable	plausibility	sacrifice	.	in	essence	,	this	movie's	purpose	is	to	head	towards	a	goal	that	shouldn't	even	exist	.	it's	a	ten	minute	short	film	with	ninety	five	minutes	of	filler	.	if	you	were	to	show	me	sleepless	in	seattle	and	i	didn't	have	to	review	it	,	you	could	just	call	me	"	asleep	in	philadelphia	.	"	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
neg	written	by	:	john	herzfeld	directed	by	:	john	herzfeld	produced	by	:	mgm	(	metro	goldwyn	mayer	)	aka	mgm	ua	redemption	rysher	entertainment	cast	:	danny	aiello	,	greg	cruttwell	,	jeff	daniels	,	teri	hatcher	,	glenne	headly	,	peter	horton	,	marsha	mason	,	paul	mazursky	,	james	spader	,	eric	stoltz	,	louise	fletcher	,	natasha	henstridge	.	runtime	:	about	107	minutes	rating	:	out	of	there	are	movies	that	pose	a	question	in	its	first	five	minutes	and	spend	the	rest	of	the	time	trying	to	answer	it	.	then	there	are	movies	that	spend	the	whole	time	posing	questions	and	try	to	answer	it	all	in	the	last	five	minutes	.	writer	director	john	herzfeld's	two	days	in	the	valley	falls	into	the	latter	category	.	weaving	together	a	grabbag	of	seemingly	unrelated	characters	,	herzfeld's	tries	very	hard	to	keep	the	audience	guessing	with	a	altmanesque	series	of	parallel	stories	.	hitmen	lee	(	james	spader	)	and	his	partner	dosmo	(	danny	aiello	)	pop	a	guy	in	bed	while	leaving	his	drugged	wife	becky	fox	(	teri	hatcher	)	lying	next	to	him	showing	the	audience	where	on	her	behind	she	got	nicely	pricked	.	an	understandeably	shocked	becky	runs	out	of	the	house	the	next	morning	before	hailing	down	a	couple	of	vice	cops	,	(	jeff	daniels	)	and	wes	(	eric	stoltz	)	.	a	murder	is	not	vice	territory	,	flirting	with	asian	prostitues	is	,	but	wes	would	rather	play	inquisitive	detective	.	meanwhile	,	washed	up	director	,	teddy	(	paul	mazursky	)	is	about	to	end	his	life	.	but	before	he	can	do	that	,	he	must	find	a	good	home	for	his	dog	.	enter	nurse	audrey	(	marsha	mason	)	,	who	takes	the	dog	and	teddy	for	a	ride	.	stuffy	art	dealer	,	allan	hopper	(	greg	cruttwell	)	has	kidney	stones	.	while	struggling	about	his	fancy	house	,	he	switches	between	moaning	in	self	pity	and	dropping	condescending	hints	about	his	loyal	secretary's	(	glenne	headly	)	plain	appearance	.	don't	be	surprised	if	you	find	yourself	asking	more	than	once	just	what	the	hell	is	going	on	.	you	might	like	that	feeling	of	cluelessness	.	herzfeld	does	answer	all	the	questions	in	the	course	of	time	and	pieces	it	all	rather	neatly	in	the	last	five	minutes	.	the	jigsaw	puzzle	assembled	isn't	stunning	by	any	means	though	.	the	characters	lack	the	stature	or	moral	complexity	of	altman's	real	life	heroes	in	short	cuts	,	even	though	they	are	interesting	and	funny	.	funny	,	that	is	if	you	aren't	comparing	them	to	the	likes	of	tarantino's	pulp	chcaracters	.	the	tie	up	is	tidy	but	nowhere	near	the	squeaky	clean	resolution	of	(	director's	name	?	guy	who	also	did	last	seduction	)	red	rock	west	.	two	days	isn't	a	bad	movie	but	there	isn't	much	else	to	it	than	the	screenplay	novelty	of	the	linkage	of	seemingly	unrelated	characters	.	it'll	keep	you	guessing	alright	but	you	won't	remember	the	answers	five	minutes	after	the	credits	.	the	flying	inkpot	rating	system	:	wait	for	the	tv2	broadcast	.	a	little	creaky	,	but	still	better	than	staying	at	home	with	gotcha	!	pretty	good	,	bring	a	friend	.	amazing	,	potent	stuff	.	perfection	.	see	it	twice	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	for	reviews	of	the	latest	films	,	concerts	and	plays	in	singapore	,	take	a	look	at	a	href	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	.	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	.	a	bring	money	!	hr
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	columbia	tristar	on	july	14	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	157	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	roland	emmerich	;	produced	by	mark	gordon	,	gary	levinsohn	.	written	by	robert	rodat	.	photographed	by	caleb	deschanel	;	edited	by	david	brenner	.	cast	.	.	.	.	.	mel	gibson	.	.	.	.	.	benjamin	martin	heath	ledger	.	.	.	.	.	gabriel	martin	jason	isaacs	.	.	.	.	.	colonel	william	tavington	joely	richardson	.	.	.	.	.	charlotte	selton	chris	cooper	.	.	.	.	.	colonel	harry	burwell	tom	wilkinson	.	.	.	.	.	general	cornwallis	you	don't	send	a	boy	to	do	a	man's	job	.	roland	emmerich	the	director	of	such	dreadful	action	films	as	"	independence	day	"	,	and	the	recent	"	godzilla	"	remake	should	not	have	been	assigned	an	epic	about	the	american	revolutionary	war	.	it's	nonetheless	unsurprising	that	my	opening	maxim	never	occurred	to	anyone	involved	with	"	the	patriot	"	.	after	all	,	they	did	approve	a	script	in	which	two	small	boys	are	given	guns	and	told	to	shoot	at	british	people	in	the	woods	.	the	tots	are	about	ten	years	old	,	or	maybe	a	little	younger	.	the	film's	hero	,	played	by	mel	gibson	,	is	a	widower	whose	farm	is	unjustly	attacked	by	'redcoats'	(	the	nickname	for	the	brits	)	;	he's	also	the	one	who	supplied	the	kids	with	their	weapons	,	and	ordered	them	to	commit	murder	.	after	their	shooting	spree	,	when	gibson	is	tucking	the	lads	into	bed	,	one	of	them	reports	"	i'm	glad	i've	killed	,	pop	!	"	america	although	a	film	as	blindly	patriotic	as	this	would	never	admit	it	already	has	enough	gun	crazed	maniacs	.	their	defence	for	bearing	arms	is	that	1	)	the	constitution	allows	it	,	and	2	)	they	need	to	do	so	for	home	protection	.	with	scenes	like	the	one	above	,	"	the	patriot	"	serves	as	an	incitement	of	those	freaks	,	and	also	of	the	pathetic	flag	wavers	who	wear	stars	and	stripes	shorts	at	street	parades	and	recite	"	we	really	do	live	in	the	land	of	the	free	and	the	home	of	the	brave	!	"	as	if	paraphrasing	a	line	from	one's	national	anthem	is	the	same	thing	as	seriously	examining	one's	country	.	"	the	patriot	"	is	being	advertised	as	the	revolutionary	war	equivalent	of	gibson's	great	scottish	epic	"	braveheart	"	,	but	it's	nowhere	near	as	entertaining	,	and	does	a	much	more	methodical	job	of	demonising	the	british	while	glamorising	a	revolt	.	the	narrative	essentially	consists	of	gibson	and	a	small	band	of	merry	men	wandering	around	the	country	discussing	"	the	cause	"	;	although	now	and	again	gibson	meets	up	with	his	family	,	or	there	will	be	another	attack	from	those	horrid	recoats	.	of	course	there	is	a	token	black	character	among	gibson's	troupe	,	who	gets	some	racist	comments	at	first	,	but	then	apologies	,	so	none	of	the	americans	come	off	looking	evil	.	when	the	level	of	the	storytelling	becomes	apparent	,	we	hold	out	hope	that	we	can	at	least	expect	some	spectacular	sequences	of	dumb	action	.	but	there	is	hardly	any	fighting	until	the	climax	,	when	comes	a	highly	implausible	battle	scene	,	with	gibson	running	through	the	bloody	lines	unharmed	,	carrying	the	american	flag	.	then	he	thrusts	it	into	the	ground	and	has	a	ridiculous	clash	with	a	british	officer	(	jason	isaacs	)	,	where	each	man	wields	two	swords	in	each	hand	,	and	juts	them	at	each	other	in	time	to	swashbuckler	music	chords	.	to	picture	this	,	recall	the	jim	carrey	comedy	"	cable	guy	"	,	with	its	parody	of	the	famous	"	star	trek	"	fight	.	gibson	opens	every	scene	with	a	flustered	,	confused	expression	and	then	turns	it	into	a	frown	.	it's	like	"	braveheart	"	going	senile	but	sporadically	returning	to	his	old	self	.	the	dialogue	that	he	and	all	the	other	actors	have	to	speak	varies	from	horribly	stilted	(	"	men	!	richly	fight	for	the	cause	about	which	you	spake	!	"	;	"	father	.	.	.	this	yonder	boy	be	two	years	younger	than	i	!	"	)	to	nonsensical	(	"	i'm	a	parent	,	i	don't	have	the	luxury	of	principles	"	)	to	lazy	and	pedestrian	(	"	daddy	,	daddy	,	come	back	!	"	)	.	and	there	are	scenes	of	ineptitude	,	such	as	when	gibson's	platoon	creep	up	behind	a	british	ship	,	and	then	emmerich	cuts	to	a	wide	shot	to	show	the	boat	blow	up	.	how	the	hell	did	that	happen	?	did	they	throw	a	hand	grenade	?	where	did	they	find	one	of	those	,	being	in	the	1770s	an'	all	?	like	"	u	571	"	,	another	dreadful	recent	war	movie	,	"	the	patriot	"	has	drawn	fire	for	its	reworking	of	history	.	the	real	life	figure	gibson's	character	is	based	on	was	known	for	shooting	civilians	for	sport	,	and	raping	his	slaves	(	in	the	film	,	he	doesn't	even	keep	slaves	;	the	negroes	working	his	land	are	free	men	)	.	and	william	tavington	,	the	english	colonel	who	the	screenplay	pits	him	against	,	did	not	murder	children	or	use	any	unorthodox	tactics	.	even	if	you	don't	care	about	the	facts	,	"	the	patriot	"	is	incompetent	and	disappointing	.	i	dragged	a	buddy	to	the	screening	with	me	,	and	felt	compelled	to	apologise	both	during	and	after	.	i	think	i'll	ring	him	again	right	now	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	john	carpenter	makes	b	movies	.	always	has	(	"	halloween	,	"	"	escape	from	new	york	,	"	"	the	thing	"	)	and	,	by	the	looks	of	it	(	"	they	live	,	"	"	escape	from	l	.	a	.	,	"	"	vampires	"	)	,	always	will	.	carpenter's	latest	horror	opus	with	a	science	fiction	bent	(	or	science	fiction	outing	with	a	schlock	horror	bent	)	is	the	aptly	titled	"	john	carpenter's	ghosts	of	mars	"	(	in	case	,	i	suppose	,	you	went	looking	for	someone	else's	"	ghosts	of	mars	"	)	.	like	all	those	films	prefixed	by	the	very	possessive	"	john	carpenter's	,	"	"	ghosts	of	mars	"	is	an	unashamed	b	movie	punctuated	by	a	b	movie	plot	,	b	movie	actors	,	and	b	movie	special	effects	.	in	category	one	,	above	,	we	have	a	storyline	that	borders	on	idiotic	(	and	,	at	times	,	chaotic	)	.	dormant	martians	(	i	.	e	.	,	swirling	red	gases	)	awakened	by	meddling	humans	possess	the	souls	of	hapless	mining	colonists	rendering	them	testy	marilyn	manson	lookalikes	.	all	this	explained	(	in	flashback	)	to	some	grand	pooh	bah	counsel	by	martian	police	official	melanie	ballard	(	natasha	henstridge	,	from	the	sub	"	species	"	films	)	,	the	only	returnee	on	a	silly	looking	train	.	officer	ballard	went	in	to	bring	back	incarcerated	felon	james	"	desolation	"	williams	;	what	she	found	was	not	a	pretty	picture	.	in	the	second	category	we	have	ms	.	henstridge	,	her	blonde	hair	pulled	back	tightly	and	awkwardly	into	a	ponytail	,	ice	cube	(	as	the	appropriately	named	"	desolation	"	)	,	pam	grier	(	briefly	,	oddly	who	wanted	to	work	with	whom	i	wonder	?	)	,	and	a	host	of	extras	all	assuming	that	the	story	and	special	effects	were	going	to	carry	this	film	and	therefore	they	didn't	need	to	try	too	hard	.	in	category	number	three	we	have	,	in	addition	to	those	swirling	red	gases	and	the	silly	looking	train	,	a	couple	of	bird's	eye	view	shots	of	a	sprawling	martian	metropolis	(	reddish	also	)	.	state	of	the	art	special	effects	have	never	been	a	carpenter	trademark	and	once	again	the	writer	director	(	who	seems	to	have	no	problem	finding	work	,	however	)	doesn't	waste	any	of	the	film's	budget	in	that	department	.	"	ghosts	of	mars	"	is	lock	,	laughing	stock	,	and	barrel	all	your	standard	carpenter	fare	:	dingy	interiors	,	cluttered	exteriors	,	inane	dialogue	,	lots	of	leather	,	scarred	,	crazed	looking	aliens	,	and	lots	and	lots	of	weaponry	.	the	film	often	and	always	explodes	into	warfare	without	warning	spontaneously	,	stupidly	.	carpenter	might	like	to	think	he's	made	a	western	here	but	it's	a	western	without	any	real	heroes	,	villains	,	or	border	conflicts	.	it's	just	the	shootouts	minus	a	hissing	snake	plissken	.	i	never	thought	i'd	miss	the	guy	but	i	do	.	it's	not	all	the	same	,	however	.	dubbed	the	"	one	note	wonder	"	for	his	minimalist	music	soundtracks	,	carpenter	seems	to	have	graduated	from	simplistic	(	yet	effective	)	scoring	by	highlighting	his	action	with	loud	,	screeching	guitar	work	.	fortunately	this	drowns	out	a	lot	of	the	dialogue	.	the	final	exchange	between	henstridge	and	,	er	,	cube	though	is	both	audible	and	priceless	.	mars	has	proven	an	infertile	breeding	ground	for	hollywood	in	the	last	year	or	so	,	what	with	the	stillborn	"	mission	to	mars	"	and	"	red	planet	"	(	with	val	kilmer	)	.	"	ghosts	of	mars	"	sadly	adds	to	those	disappointing	returns	(	in	its	opening	weekend	it	was	overshadowed	by	a	bunch	of	sequels	,	among	them	"	american	pie	2	"	and	"	rush	hour	2	"	)	.	the	irony	is	that	the	mars	in	carpenter's	film	feels	sadly	absent	.	there	are	occasional	references	to	the	red	planet	,	of	course	,	but	the	film	might	as	well	have	been	set	in	perth	amboys	than	on	earth's	closest	neighbor	.	two	things	keep	"	john	carpenter's	ghosts	of	mars	"	from	getting	a	huge	slap	upside	the	head	.	1	.	henstridge	keeps	her	top	on	(	miraculously	)	,	and	2	.	the	film	doesn't	pretend	to	be	anything	it's	not	.	what	that	means	,	however	,	is	that	fans	of	superior	,	intelligent	,	grade	a	sci	fi	horror	are	singularly	out	of	luck	.
neg	have	you	ever	known	someone	who	was	so	detestable	that	everyone	hated	him	?	imagine	if	that	person	was	murdered	,	who	would	the	suspects	be	,	everyone	?	now	,	imagine	if	someone	,	we'll	just	call	him	nick	,	were	to	make	a	movie	entirely	about	a	person	like	this	;	what	kind	of	movie	would	that	be	?	apparently	,	it	would	be	a	movie	called	"	drowning	mona	"	,	one	of	the	most	despicable	,	mean	spirited	,	evil	little	movies	i	have	ever	seen	.	the	only	thing	that	saved	this	movie	from	a	one	star	rating	,	was	the	presence	of	danny	devito	as	the	only	likable	character	in	a	movie	filled	with	abhorrent	people	.	"	drowning	mona	"	managed	to	cause	me	to	stare	,	slack	jawed	and	horrified	at	the	screen	during	its	full	running	time	.	there	aren't	too	many	films	out	there	which	can	do	that	.	mona	dearly	(	bette	midler	)	is	an	evil	,	loathsome	creature	,	whose	life	is	filled	with	caustic	remarks	and	hate	filled	glares	.	her	husband	,	phil	(	william	fichtner	)	,	is	a	depressed	looking	man	who	makes	it	through	life	only	because	of	the	happiness	he	finds	in	his	affair	with	rona	(	jamie	lee	curtis	)	,	a	local	waitress	.	then	one	day	mona's	brakes	fail	while	driving	along	a	mountain	road	,	and	she	flies	into	the	river	.	of	course	,	everyone	in	the	town	is	suspect	:	her	husband	;	her	one	handed	son	,	jeff	(	marcus	thomas	)	;	his	business	partner	,	bobby	(	casey	affleck	)	;	bobby's	fiancee	,	ellen	(	neve	campbell	)	;	and	a	slew	of	other	people	all	had	plenty	of	reason	to	want	mona	dearly	dead	.	chief	wyatt	rash	(	danny	devito	)	,	the	local	sheriff	,	must	try	to	determine	who	the	killer	might	be	out	of	the	hundreds	of	possible	suspects	.	it's	only	march	,	and	already	a	candidate	for	worst	movie	of	the	year	has	arisen	.	seldom	have	i	seen	a	movie	audience	so	silent	during	a	comedy	.	on	those	rare	occasions	where	i	was	able	to	tear	my	eyes	from	the	horrors	on	display	,	i	would	glance	about	to	see	other	audience	members	staring	at	the	screen	with	looks	of	shock	plastered	on	their	faces	.	"	drowning	mona	"	is	an	amazingly	evil	,	twisted	movie	,	which	nearly	gives	"	very	bad	things	"	a	run	for	its	money	as	most	disturbing	film	of	the	past	five	years	.	not	only	is	the	movie	evil	,	but	its	attempts	at	actual	humor	fall	completely	flat	.	i	think	that	"	drowning	mona	"	was	supposed	to	be	a	dark	,	dark	comedy	,	but	it	succeeds	only	in	being	very	dark	.	perhaps	most	terrifying	of	all	is	that	the	actors	involved	appeared	to	be	having	a	grand	old	time	acting	like	yugo	driving	demons	(	everyone	in	the	film	drives	a	yugo	)	.	bette	midler	is	amazingly	convincing	as	the	queen	of	this	hell	on	earth	,	and	her	fellow	stars	,	particularly	marcus	thomas	(	"	palmetto	"	)	,	are	very	nearly	as	loathsome	.	the	running	gag	with	thomas	involves	him	having	a	stump	for	a	left	hand	(	pretty	funny	,	huh	?	)	.	thomas's	character	,	jeff	,	does	wonderful	things	such	as	run	over	his	neighbor's	dog	with	a	lawnmower	and	hit	on	a	thirteen	year	old	girl	.	i	think	this	was	all	supposed	to	be	funny	,	but	if	that's	the	case	it	failed	miserably	.	devito	plays	the	only	fully	likeable	character	here	the	sheriff	with	a	heart	of	gold	.	the	truth	is	,	devito	can't	help	but	be	great	in	any	moive	,	no	matter	how	otherwise	terrible	it	might	be	(	"	war	of	the	roses	"	,	for	example	)	.	"	drowning	mona	"	is	a	waste	of	both	talent	and	time	.	i	wouldn't	wish	it	on	anyone	except	perhaps	nick	gomez	and	peter	steinfeld	for	creating	this	heap	of	garbage	.	i'll	grant	you	,	the	two	men	must	have	talent	because	it	takes	some	to	create	a	film	so	thoroughly	revolting	.	the	film	runs	95	minutes	,	which	is	about	an	hour	and	a	half	too	long	.	i	don't	recommend	it	to	anyone	,	anywhere	.	if	you're	really	desperate	to	see	bette	midler	in	something	new	(	and	i	mean	desperate	enough	that	you're	going	to	die	without	seeing	her	)	,	i'd	still	suggest	you	wait	for	video	or	at	least	catch	a	matinee	.	with	any	luck	,	"	drowning	mona	"	will	be	out	of	theaters	in	a	few	weeks	.	i	give	this	sorry	movie	one	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	only	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	made	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
neg	movies	can	do	the	two	big	es	very	well	:	educate	and	entertain	.	in	the	best	of	all	possible	worlds	,	they	accomplish	both	.	on	the	red	planet	,	they	fail	entirely	.	in	the	near	future	,	a	manned	mission	is	sent	to	mars	to	observe	primitive	plant	growth	.	this	film	does	a	remarkable	job	of	demonstrating	exactly	how	exciting	watching	algae	grow	would	be	.	after	some	mumbo	jumbo	about	an	ecological	disaster	on	earth	and	an	interminable	wait	to	reach	the	fourth	planet	,	the	ship	falls	apart	almost	as	fast	as	the	movie	does	.	the	ground	crew	of	people	you	couldn't	care	less	about	is	trapped	on	the	surface	without	food	,	water	or	air	and	stalked	by	a	deadly	rogue	cyberdog	.	the	one	potentially	interesting	character	(	carrie	anne	moss	)	spends	her	time	alone	in	the	orbiting	ship	talking	to	a	computer	.	attempting	to	graft	"	2001	"	esque	space	mysticism	with	"	terminator	"	robot	horror	,	first	time	director	antony	hoffman	can't	seem	to	figure	out	what's	going	on	.	neither	can	we	.	didn't	he	have	anyone	who	could	step	back	from	the	shooting	and	make	sure	there	was	a	coherent	story	?	couldn't	he	have	used	the	money	saved	by	only	having	to	pay	half	a	dozen	actors	to	hire	a	scriptwriter	?	there	are	so	many	mis	steps	.	every	opportunity	to	create	dynamic	tension	is	thwarted	by	plot	holes	and	lackluster	direction	.	why	introduce	the	theme	of	faith	vs	.	science	if	the	crewman	who	could	comment	on	it	disappears	early	only	to	die	_	offscreen	_	?	the	audience	begins	the	film	waiting	for	something	to	happen	.	two	hours	later	,	they're	still	waiting	.	despite	our	greatest	hopes	,	there	is	no	life	on	the	red	planet	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	a	very	long	time	and	finds	observing	mars	from	the	ground	much	more	interesting	than	anything	in	this	film	.	email	your	experiences	with	the	cosmos	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	"	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	a	)	this	appeared	in	the	11	16	2000	"	bloomington	independent	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	"	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	a	film	reviews	archive	:	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	michael	redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	michael	redman	a
neg	director	:	josef	rusnak	cast	:	craig	bierko	,	gretchen	mol	,	armin	mueller	stahl	,	vincent	d'onofrio	,	dennis	haysbert	,	steve	schub	screenplay	:	josef	rusnak	,	ravel	centeno	rodriguez	producers	:	roland	emmerich	,	ute	emmerich	,	marco	weber	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	columbia	rated	r	:	violence	,	language	copyright	1999	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	the	thirteenth	floor	is	a	bland	,	obligatory	exercise	in	genre	film	making	.	if	i	hadn't	recently	watched	the	matrix	and	open	your	eyes	both	of	which	are	similar	but	far	superior	i	might	have	been	a	little	nicer	to	this	picture	.	craig	bierko	makes	an	adequate	hero	as	douglas	hall	,	the	rich	co	creator	of	a	perfect	human	world	simulation	who	is	suddenly	blamed	for	the	murder	of	his	boss	(	armin	mueller	stahl	)	.	everything	that	was	subtle	and	smart	about	the	previously	mentioned	films	is	battered	over	our	heads	in	this	one	,	and	characters	stare	at	each	other	for	maddeningly	long	periods	of	time	and	refuse	to	communicate	on	any	realistic	level	.	the	acting	is	okay	,	but	the	film	suffers	from	every	logical	flaw	one	could	think	of	,	and	features	a	script	(	co	penned	by	director	josef	rusnak	)	loaded	with	cliches	and	stock	characters	.	there	are	individual	scenes	and	ideas	that	work	i	like	the	thought	of	a	sentient	computer	program	but	none	of	the	film's	strengths	are	recognized	to	any	meaningful	degree	.	producer	roland	emmerich	,	based	on	this	and	his	previous	directorial	efforts	,	seems	hell	bent	on	bringing	us	the	ultimate	standard	in	mediocre	science	fiction	.
neg	walt	disney	1	:	30	1997	pg	(	gooey	sentiment	,	overacting	)	cast	:	kevin	zegers	;	wendy	makkena	;	michael	jeter	;	bill	cobbs	;	eric	christmas	director	:	charles	martin	smith	screenplay	:	aaron	mendelson	;	paul	tamasy	disney's	"	air	bud	"	tells	a	boy	and	his	dog	story	with	a	twist	the	pooch	is	quite	an	accomplished	basketball	player	.	granted	,	for	a	family	comedy	,	it's	not	a	very	funny	or	successful	idea	to	begin	with	,	but	it	doesn't	seem	to	matter	"	air	bud	"	is	surprisingly	solemn	.	save	for	occasional	moments	of	forced	slapstick	,	the	movie	wags	its	tale	with	a	straight	face	not	a	very	enjoyable	approach	.	if	"	air	bud	"	had	realized	its	own	absurdity	,	then	it	possibly	could	have	been	better	.	here	,	we're	actually	asked	to	cheer	a	moment	when	the	dog	marches	out	to	save	the	big	game	,	clad	in	two	pairs	of	sneakers	and	even	a	jersey	.	its	number	?	k9	.	yeah	,	whatever	.	the	movie	opens	as	golden	retriever	buddy	(	as	himself	)	escapes	from	his	current	owner	,	abusive	clown	for	hire	norm	snively	(	michael	jeter	)	.	he	ends	up	in	fernwell	,	washington	,	where	mopey	new	kid	on	the	block	josh	(	kevin	zegers	)	is	trying	to	cope	with	the	move	and	the	recent	death	of	his	father	.	buddy	,	kevin	.	kevin	,	buddy	.	once	the	dog	proves	his	on	court	prowess	,	kevin's	self	esteem	rockets	.	they	both	win	places	in	the	school's	basketball	team	,	with	the	animal	as	their	mascot	.	but	before	they	can	make	it	to	the	finals	,	snively	surfaces	to	reclaim	buddy	.	everything	plays	out	just	as	one	would	think	:	heavy	on	predictability	,	light	on	an	actual	story	.	the	movie	follows	a	calculated	chain	of	events	kevin's	gloom	fades	,	snively	gets	his	comeuppance	and	buddy	contracts	rabies	and	must	be	executed	old	yeller	style	.	okay	,	that	last	one's	a	lie	,	but	at	least	it	would	have	been	a	quicker	send	off	than	"	air	bud	"	's	courtroom	climax	no	joke	!	there's	even	a	faux	cute	musical	montage	where	a	reluctant	buddy	gets	cleaned	up	to	"	splish	splash	.	"	paint	cans	are	spilled	and	newspapers	are	buried	,	all	in	the	name	of	formula	.	the	end	credits	note	that	"	no	special	visual	effects	were	used	in	the	basketball	sequences	of	this	motion	picture	.	"	that	very	well	may	be	true	,	and	although	to	see	a	dog	sink	shots	is	quite	a	sight	,	a	movie	cannot	exist	on	feat	alone	.	but	"	air	bud	"	doesn't	seem	to	be	interested	in	anything	else	.	a	friend	of	mine	insists	he	saw	buddy	a	while	back	on	a	segment	of	david	letterman's	"	stupid	pet	tricks	.	"	i	can't	think	of	a	more	appropriate	connection	this	movie	is	a	stupid	pet	trick	.	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
neg	starring	woody	harrelson	,	antonio	banderas	,	lolita	davidovich	,	tom	sizemore	,	robert	wagner	,	lucy	liu	,	kevin	costner	,	james	woods	,	george	foreman	,	rod	stewart	,	and	mike	tyson	.	play	it	to	the	bone	,	the	newest	addition	to	ron	shelton's	sports	themed	repertoire	fails	in	numerous	ways	.	like	most	of	shelton's	other	great	films	(	bull	durham	,	white	men	can't	jump	)	,	this	dud	unsuccessfully	attempts	to	use	athleticism	as	a	method	of	connecting	characters	and	creating	interesting	subplots	.	shelton's	films	are	not	considered	sports	films	,	but	they	do	heavily	revolve	around	a	specific	game	to	tell	a	story	.	shelton	has	been	so	good	in	the	past	at	using	sports	to	analyze	the	structure	of	society	that	from	his	collection	of	films	we	are	given	an	examination	of	different	classes	and	races	living	in	various	different	regions	.	play	it	to	the	bone	is	unsuccessful	because	not	only	is	the	boxing	theme	dull	,	but	the	side	story	of	the	two	guys	and	a	girl	travelling	across	the	country	is	even	worse	.	the	film	has	no	social	message	like	its	predecessors	.	the	relationship	between	the	friends	,	two	failed	boxers	who	must	face	off	against	each	other	in	the	ring	for	50	thousand	dollars	,	is	very	confusing	for	a	number	of	reasons	.	the	whole	film	,	since	it	is	primarily	a	"	buddy	picture	,	"	depends	on	the	strength	of	the	friendship	the	two	characters	have	for	each	other	.	unfortunately	,	it	is	a	very	weak	bond	for	the	reasons	listed	below	.	1	)	we	never	see	how	cesar	(	antonio	banderas	)	and	vince	(	woody	harrelson	)	meet	.	the	two	are	so	different	from	each	other	,	that	a	scene	of	how	this	odd	friendship	developed	should	have	been	mandatory	.	2	)	vince	and	cesar	argue	every	moment	possible	on	their	trip	to	las	vegas	.	there	is	not	one	convincing	moment	dedicated	to	seeing	the	characters	laugh	together	or	actually	agree	on	something	.	3	)	the	third	character	on	the	trip	,	grace	(	lolita	davidovich	)	stands	in	the	way	.	she	is	in	nearly	every	scene	with	them	,	making	it	impossible	to	understand	the	difficulty	the	two	male	characters	are	going	to	have	when	they	fight	each	other	.	4	)	there	are	two	many	interfering	,	irrelevant	side	stories	.	vince	is	convinced	that	he	sees	jesus	on	a	regular	basis	,	cesar	yells	at	the	sky	in	spanish	when	he	is	angry	,	and	grace	tries	to	sell	her	inventions	to	hotel	owner	robert	wagner	.	these	boring	tales	only	hurt	the	central	plot	.	5	)	when	it	comes	to	time	for	the	two	men	to	fight	,	they	don't	even	hesitate	to	pound	each	other	.	wasn't	the	whole	point	of	the	road	trip	to	show	that	these	two	are	friends	who	could	never	hurt	each	other	?	by	the	time	the	road	trip	part	of	the	movie	is	over	with	,	the	film	wants	to	be	over	.	shelton	,	on	the	other	hand	,	continues	to	tell	his	story	.	forty	five	painful	minutes	remain	.	the	boxing	scene	between	cesar	and	vince	starts	out	very	powerful	and	interestingly	different	from	other	boxing	movies	.	however	,	the	fight	goes	on	for	way	too	long	and	becomes	very	repetitive	and	predictable	after	awhile	,	kind	of	like	the	whole	film	.
neg	starring	freddie	prinze	jr	.	,	julia	stiles	,	zak	orth	,	shawn	hatosy	,	selma	blair	and	henry	winkler	director	kris	isaacson	canadian	rating	pg	released	by	miramax	films	01	00	ahh	yes	.	the	teenage	romance	.	an	attractive	young	cast	is	pitted	into	an	unlikely	scenario	that	could	only	happen	in	the	movies	,	and	in	the	end	,	the	guy	always	gets	the	girl	.	and	with	the	arrival	of	the	breakout	hit	she's	all	that'	last	year	(	followed	by	a	long	catalogue	of	imitators	including	10	things	i	hate	about	you'	and	drive	me	crazy'	)	,	the	genre	previously	on	life	support	is	once	again	a	hot	commodity	.	along	now	comes	down	to	you'	.	the	folks	at	miramax	are	obviously	trying	to	capitalize	on	the	rabid	she's	all	that'	craze	with	their	latest	project	,	which	has	the	studdly	freddie	prinze	jr	.	attached	and	all	.	only	down	to	you'	doesn't	have	the	unlikely	scenario'	mentioned	above	.	it	is	an	extraordinarily	ordinary	romance	a	dull	,	unattractive	teen	comedy	that	sticks	to	the	boring	game	plan	that	we're	accustomed	to	.	this	is	the	kind	of	romance	that	only	giggly	12	year	old	girls	will	find	convincing	.	in	strictly	textbook	fashion	,	college	sophomore	and	aspiring	chef	al	(	prinze	jr	.	)	meets	freshman	artist	imogen	(	julia	stiles	)	.	they	hit	it	off	like	a	couple	can	only	in	the	movies	.	from	here	,	it's	the	standard	boy	meets	girl	,	boy	loses	girl	,	boy	drinks	entire	bottle	of	shampoo	and	may	or	may	not	get	girl	back	story	.	the	plot	is	conveniently	assembled	to	suit	the	requirements	of	the	main	characters	,	who	are	frequently	taking	part	in	activities	that	.	.	.	.	well	,	only	happen	in	the	movies	.	fortunately	,	the	cast	of	down	to	you'	has	a	certain	appeal	.	freddie	prinze	jr	.	and	julia	stiles	are	an	adorable	couple	,	and	when	on	screen	together	,	they	radiate	the	sort	of	warmth	and	charisma	that	the	movie	should	have	centered	around	.	zak	orth	,	as	the	newly	realized	porn	star	monk	,	shows	an	unmistakable	flair	with	handling	all	of	the	film's	intelligent	dialogue	.	rounding	out	the	impressive	ensemble	of	young	talent	are	shawn	hatosy	(	the	faculty'	)	,	selma	blair	(	cruel	intentions'	)	and	ashton	kutcher	(	tv's	that	70's	shows'	)	.	even	the	fonz	himself	henry	winkler	,	the	epitome	of	teenage	angst	and	nostalgia	has	a	welcome	role	as	al's	dad	,	the	host	of	the	popular	cooking	program	chef	ray'	.	maybe	the	concept	of	down	to	you'	looked	good	on	paper	to	draw	such	a	crowd	.	as	a	feature	film	,	however	,	the	finished	product	is	bland	and	tasteless	fluff	with	only	an	occasional	whiff	of	cuteness	to	keep	the	gears	from	stopping	entirely	.	perhaps	worst	of	all	,	down	to	you'	is	not	funny	.	the	jokes	are	drawn	from	obvious	sources	and	the	resulting	humor	is	banal	and	uninspired	.	the	characters	on	screen	,	often	laughing	at	each	other's	goofy	embarrassing	antics	,	seemed	far	more	amused	than	the	audience	.	even	the	giggly	12	year	old	girls	had	grown	restless	toward	the	end	as	they	waited	impatiently	for	the	formula	to	run	it's	course	.	the	one	mildly	clever	segment	featured	winkler	and	prinze	jr	.	in	a	fantasy	sequence	called	cooks'	,	a	cops'	take	off	in	which	the	father	and	son	would	storm	houses	and	cook	a	decent	meal	for	needy'	families	(	with	the	assistance	of	a	fully	armed	swat	team	,	of	course	)	.	when	this	is	the	highlight	reel	,	you	know	the	remaining	film	could	leave	something	to	be	desired	.	in	order	to	make	a	teen	comedy	work	,	you've	got	to	have	characters	that	show	something	by	way	of	depth	and	identity	.	10	things	i	hate	about	you'	actually	featured	characters	who	were	more	than	walking	flashcards	,	and	the	result	was	refreshing	.	no	such	luck	with	down	to	you'	.	it's	just	a	textbook	romance	where	,	despite	absurd	circumstances	,	everything	is	bound	to	work	out	in	the	end	.	and	at	the	end	of	the	whole	clichd	ordeal	,	the	nicest	thing	you	could	possibly	say	would	be	.	.	.	.	only	in	the	movies'	.
neg	new	year	,	new	pile	of	movies	straight	from	the	hollywood	dumping	ground	of	badly	test	screened	,	obscure	,	unfunny	,	and	badly	acted	garbage	.	double	take	is	the	first	pony	out	of	the	gate	.	i	don't	know	which	is	the	worst	part	of	the	film	:	eddie	griffin's	overacting	,	orlando	jones'	non	acting	,	or	the	ugly	mutt	that	passes	as	griffin's	sidekick	.	orlando	jones	does	a	better	job	in	those	7	up	commercials	than	in	the	role	of	darryl	chase	,	an	uptight	investment	banker	set	up	by	a	combination	of	the	cia	,	the	fbi	,	a	mexican	drug	cartel	,	the	federales	,	and	an	emu	farmer	as	part	of	a	double	murder	embezzlement	scheme	.	running	from	the	law	,	chase	changes	clothes	and	identity	with	freddy	tiffany	,	a	two	bit	hustler	named	played	by	eddie	griffin	he	encounters	on	the	street	.	together	,	the	pair	travel	across	the	country	to	mexico	,	where	a	certain	cia	agent	holds	the	key	to	chase's	freedom	.	and	of	course	,	during	the	journey	,	darryl	chase	rediscovers	his	roots	as	a	black	man	while	freddy	tiffany	shucks	and	jives	his	way	through	every	situation	like	he's	the	bastard	son	of	eddie	murphy	and	jerry	lewis	.	after	numerous	car	chases	,	way	too	many	plot	"	twists	,	"	the	aforementioned	annoying	dog	,	the	bad	acting	of	vivica	a	.	fox	,	and	too	many	jokes	about	a	glass	eye	,	the	movie	becomes	a	science	project	left	in	the	school	refrigerator	to	rot	over	the	summer	.	orlando	jones	,	a	genuinely	talented	actor	writer	,	seems	out	of	place	here	,	annoyed	by	the	film	and	especially	by	his	costar's	lack	of	acting	ability	.	griffin	has	the	energy	of	tito	puente	,	the	humor	of	richard	pryor	,	and	the	acting	ability	of	former	seattle	seahawks	linebacker	brian	bosworth	.	jones	deserves	better	material	and	collaborators	.	it's	a	shame	that	double	take	is	as	bad	as	it	is	,	because	this	cinematic	travesty	was	written	and	directed	by	george	gallo	,	the	screenwriter	of	one	of	the	funniest	films	of	the	1980's	,	midnight	run	(	the	plot	of	which	bears	a	striking	similarity	to	this	film	)	.	here	are	a	few	bonus	facts	to	consider	if	you	haven't	bought	my	evaluation	:	the	film	is	based	on	an	obscure	1950's	english	film	starring	rod	steiger	called	across	the	bridge	.	it	took	more	than	a	decade	to	get	the	green	light	for	production	.	it	describes	itself	as	a	cross	between	"	film	noir	,	a	thriller	,	and	a	comedy	.	"
neg	the	most	imaginative	part	of	mallrats	comes	with	its	opening	credits	,	which	are	blatantly	sexual	comic	book	pictures	and	that's	not	too	imaginative	either	.	the	biggest	laugh	in	mallrats	,	from	an	audience	of	11	12	year	olds	assembled	in	rows	15	and	16	,	came	when	the	two	protagonists	buddies	consult	a	fortune	teller	who	bares	her	top	and	exhibits	three	nipples	.	(	number	three	,	of	course	,	is	a	fake	,	but	the	boys	are	taken	in	)	.	even	then	,	it	was	only	size	4	or	5	laughter	on	a	scale	of	1	to	10	.	the	view	of	american	youth	in	mallrats	tries	to	be	funny	,	which	it	isn't	.	it	might	have	been	a	satire	of	slackers	and	mall	culture	but	it	isn't	that	either	.	it's	plain	dull	and	just	a	series	of	nails	in	the	american	coffin	.	the	filmmaker	is	kevin	smith	,	whose	feature	writer	director	debut	was	clerks	,	an	original	,	plotless	comedy	of	people	in	and	around	a	convenience	and	a	video	store	.	the	absurdist	,	slice	of	life	,	desultorily	conversational	and	pointedly	scatological	clerks	was	a	hit	,	though	i	had	my	reservations	about	it	.	mallrats	,	done	in	the	same	spirit	and	with	some	of	the	same	actors	(	smith	himself	playing	silent	bob	)	,	is	a	flop	.	it	has	something	of	a	plot	,	vague	and	disjointed	.	t	.	s	.	(	notice	the	scatology	of	the	name	)	(	jeremy	london	)	has	been	dumped	by	his	fiancee	brandi	(	claire	forlani	)	for	reasons	too	dull	to	mention	.	brodie	(	jason	lee	)	,	has	been	dumped	by	his	girl	rene	(	shannen	doherty	)	because	,	in	bed	,	he	is	more	interested	in	video	games	than	in	sex	.	(	let's	not	even	talk	about	love	)	.	the	two	men	(	men	?	)	find	solace	in	doing	what	any	red	blooded	idiots	will	do	.	they	go	to	the	mall	.	there	,	a	subplot	has	them	trying	to	sabotage	that	day's	forthcoming	game	show	,	a	kind	of	dating	game	,	which	is	produced	by	brandi's	father	,	a	youthful	but	bald	creep	.	the	movie's	comedy	is	below	sitcom	level	,	the	dialogue	,	action	and	characters	are	of	no	interest	,	except	perhaps	to	people	under	twenty	with	a	mental	age	under	six	.	since	those	people	neither	read	film	reviews	nor	put	any	credence	in	adult	judgments	,	mallrats	might	just	have	a	career	,	even	though	it	is	exceptionally	thin	and	dull	in	every	way	.	the	best	that	can	be	said	is	that	,	at	the	mall	,	smith	places	a	fat	young	man	who	stares	at	a	sort	of	pointillist	painting	which	,	looked	at	with	concentration	,	reveals	a	sailboat	.	but	the	poor	fellow	stands	there	and	stands	there	and	can't	see	a	thing	.	not	a	bad	gag	,	though	thoroughly	milked	.	another	"	funny	"	item	is	about	a	fifteen	year	old	girl	who	is	presumably	so	bright	that	she's	a	senior	.	she	is	writing	a	book	about	orgasms	and	researches	by	sleeping	with	men	right	and	left	and	videotaping	the	activities	.	her	language	is	raunchy	even	by	kevin	smith	standards	,	standards	that	use	the	alphabet	from	the	a	word	to	perhaps	some	z	word	,	though	the	n	word	is	not	heard	.	the	fun	and	games	are	uncoordinated	and	slipshod	.	the	film	might	have	used	updated	marx	brothers	strategies	instead	of	applying	a	para	clerks	style	which	relies	on	frail	crutches	instead	of	tempo	,	energy	or	the	occasional	witticism	.	there	are	also	other	inconsistencies	.	in	her	letter	of	resignation	,	so	to	speak	,	brodie's	girl	lists	his	defects	.	brodie	thinks	that	"	callow	"	is	the	only	nice	thing	in	the	letter	,	yet	he	will	occasionally	use	a	hi	fallutin'	word	.	we	also	think	for	a	long	time	that	brodie	and	co	.	are	high	schoolers	,	but	are	told	at	the	end	that	they	are	college	students	.	somehow	,	comic	book	author	and	icon	stan	lee	shows	up	,	gives	sage	advice	to	brodie	.	it	might	have	been	amusing	,	it	is	merely	artificial	.	and	here	and	there	are	tentative	take	offs	,	but	these	do	not	take	off	.
neg	some	concepts	seem	patently	hopeless	from	the	beginning	,	a	live	action	version	of	mr	.	magoo	being	a	prime	example	.	the	cartoon	figure	mr	.	magoo	,	the	bumbling	blind	man	,	can	be	quite	funny	,	but	only	in	small	doses	and	only	within	the	confines	of	animated	images	.	if	you	think	naked	gun	star	leslie	nielsen	is	a	dubious	choice	to	play	the	role	of	the	short	guy	who	runs	into	walls	,	you	are	right	,	but	there	is	an	even	more	astonishing	selection	.	for	a	director	they	tapped	hong	kong's	stanley	tong	,	whose	resume	consists	mainly	of	a	handful	of	movies	featuring	martial	arts	expert	jackie	chan	.	the	story	,	such	that	there	is	one	,	is	about	a	large	,	stolen	ruby	,	which	looks	a	woolworth	reject	.	mr	.	magoo	gets	it	and	,	of	course	,	does	not	realize	he	has	it	.	mayhem	then	ensues	as	the	bad	and	the	good	guys	chase	each	other	with	mr	.	magoo	frequently	oblivious	to	the	fact	that	anyone	is	being	chased	.	like	home	alone	3	but	without	any	class	,	mr	.	magoo	can	only	be	described	as	painfully	bad	.	fifteen	minutes	of	it	feels	like	an	eternity	.	the	movie's	humor	is	pathetically	lame	,	and	the	pacing	is	way	off	.	when	one	is	stuck	in	a	theater	for	an	hour	and	a	half	watching	what	claims	to	be	a	motion	picture	,	one	looks	for	some	solace	.	mr	.	magoo	provides	only	three	such	moments	.	the	movie	begins	and	ends	with	the	classic	cartoon	version	of	the	character	,	who	exudes	his	usual	charm	.	the	only	other	saving	grave	in	the	movie	itself	is	angus	,	the	sweet	little	bulldog	.	angus	demonstrates	more	genuine	emotions	and	a	wider	acting	range	than	any	of	the	humans	in	the	picture	.	finally	,	the	ending	credits	contain	outtakes	of	the	movie	,	which	have	some	of	the	genuineness	and	spontaneity	that	the	movie	badly	lacked	.	rather	than	attempt	to	adapt	mr	.	magoo	to	a	non	cartoon	movie	,	nielsen	makes	the	strategic	mistake	of	trying	to	literally	be	a	human	version	of	the	cartoon	.	he	has	trouble	sustaining	the	squinting	eyes	and	the	affected	voice	,	and	even	when	he	does	it	comes	off	as	awkwardly	unfunny	.	my	wife	managed	to	get	some	sleep	during	the	movie	,	but	i	was	not	so	lucky	.	hopefully	,	this	picture	will	force	producers	to	think	harder	about	which	subjects	have	promise	and	which	do	not	.	mr	.	magoo	runs	1	:	37	.	it	is	rated	pg	for	comic	violence	and	would	be	acceptable	for	all	ages	.	my	son	jeffrey	,	age	8	,	said	he	thought	the	movie	was	good	and	really	funny	,	but	recommends	you	not	choose	it	if	you	want	an	action	movie	.	he	said	he	liked	home	alone	3	much	more	.	his	friend	maxim	,	age	9	,	said	that	he	thought	it	was	good	but	very	silly	and	parts	did	not	make	sense	.	his	other	friend	nickolas	,	age	8	,	said	he'd	give	the	movie	1	2	,	but	that	it	was	really	silly	.
neg	200	cigarettes	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	paramount	1	:	40	1999	r	(	language	,	sexual	situations	)	cast	:	paul	rudd	;	courtney	love	;	martha	plimpton	;	ben	affleck	;	kate	hudson	;	jay	mohr	;	christina	ricci	;	gaby	hoffman	;	dave	chappelle	;	casey	affleck	;	guillermo	diaz	;	janeane	garofalo	;	angela	featherstone	director	:	risa	bramon	garcia	screenplay	:	shana	larsen	hr	a	backdrop	of	new	year's	eve	in	1981	would	seem	to	lend	itself	to	a	great	party	movie	.	the	decor	possibilities	are	endless	disco	balls	had	yet	to	migrate	into	the	dark	corners	of	the	attic	,	big	hair	was	worth	its	weight	in	aquanet	,	and	the	louder	the	fashion	,	the	better	the	look	.	but	despite	this	setting	,	these	details	and	a	soundtrack	that	includes	some	40	plus	irresistible	hits	from	the	early	days	of	the	me	decade	,	something	is	inherently	wrong	with	"	200	cigarettes	.	"	a	better	title	for	this	nostalgic	mess	would	be	"	50	missed	opportunities	.	"	what	is	it	that	makes	this	retro	comedy	such	a	downer	?	it's	certainly	not	the	cast	,	which	includes	enough	hot	,	young	talent	for	several	movies	.	there's	courtney	love	,	cementing	her	reputation	as	a	serious	actress	;	christina	ricci	,	hot	off	her	shoulda	been	nominated	turn	in	"	the	opposite	of	sex	"	;	paul	rudd	,	who	gets	even	more	appealing	with	every	role	;	kate	hudson	,	inheriting	some	fine	acting	genes	from	mom	goldie	hawn	;	and	affleck	brothers	ben	and	casey	,	two	of	the	best	things	about	"	good	will	hunting	.	"	perhaps	the	question	is	this	:	what	drew	these	and	other	immensely	talented	actors	to	such	a	dreary	project	?	maybe	it	looked	good	on	paper	.	"	200	cigarettes	"	is	composed	of	a	series	of	vignettes	,	as	various	characters	make	their	way	through	new	york's	festively	decorated	east	village	to	a	holiday	bash	thrown	by	a	jittery	bundle	of	nerves	named	monica	(	martha	plimpton	,	all	dressed	up	in	her	best	cyndi	lauper	)	.	among	the	potential	guests	are	likeable	cad	kevin	(	rudd	)	and	his	best	friend	lucy	(	love	)	,	busy	bickering	over	his	recent	break	up	,	and	a	clumsy	but	seemingly	charming	bartender	(	ben	affleck	)	who	opens	his	mouth	only	to	spew	forth	bad	pick	up	lines	.	more	subplots	_	many	_	more	dot	the	big	picture	,	but	those	listed	above	are	the	only	ones	worth	noting	in	a	positive	light	.	all	the	other	story	tangents	are	as	frazzled	as	a	cokehead	trying	to	solve	a	rubick's	cube	.	ricci	and	gaby	hoffman	grate	as	two	ronkonkoma	gals	(	the	kind	that	have	trouble	pronouncing	hard	consonants	)	out	to	have	a	high	time	in	the	big	city	.	infamously	acerbic	comedienne	janeane	garofalo	is	wasted	in	what	amounts	to	a	several	scene	cameo	.	hudson	,	as	a	pretty	in	pink	klutz	recently	devirginized	by	a	reprehensible	ladies'	man	(	jay	mohr	)	,	trips	,	pukes	and	gets	smeared	with	dog	poop	.	are	we	laughing	yet	?	the	film	boils	down	to	a	mixture	of	the	good	,	the	bad	and	the	gaudy	,	with	the	latter	two	overtaking	the	former	.	game	performances	especially	by	love	,	rudd	and	plimpton	are	almost	shot	down	by	the	bizarrely	colorful	parts	and	a	constantly	roving	focus	,	here	a	combination	that	mostly	sputters	when	it	should	crackle	.	too	many	sidetracks	rate	as	uninteresting	and	have	little	payoff	until	a	lengthy	final	montage	where	we	find	out	many	of	the	performers	served	as	one	night	stands	for	each	other	.	if	this	is	"	200	cigarettes	,	"	then	get	me	200	nicotine	patches	.	hr	1999	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	here	it	is	at	last	,	the	first	150	minute	trailer	.	armageddon'	is	cut	together	like	its	own	highlights	.	take	almost	any	30	seconds	at	random	,	and	you'd	have	a	tv	ad	.	the	movie	is	an	assault	on	the	eyes	,	the	ears	,	the	brain	,	common	sense	and	the	human	desire	to	be	entertained	.	no	matter	what	they're	charging	to	get	in	,	it's	worth	more	to	get	out	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	armageddon	"
neg	over	40	years	ago	,	a	japanese	production	company	called	toho	introduced	the	land	of	the	rising	sun	to	gojira	,	a	reptilian	creature	of	immense	proportions	created	by	mankind's	nuclear	testing	.	partly	flight	of	fancy	,	partly	commentary	on	the	exploitation	of	atomic	power	and	weaponry	,	gojira	emerged	from	the	ocean	to	terrorize	tokyo	.	a	year	later	,	gojira	was	marketed	to	the	united	states	by	adding	three	things	:	a	new	name	,	a	dubbed	english	track	,	and	raymond	burr	.	as	godzilla	,	the	film	took	on	the	rest	of	the	world	.	thirty	years	later	,	toho	remade	the	classic	film	and	once	again	took	it	to	the	american	market	by	adding	the	same	three	things	(	yes	,	including	raymond	burr	)	and	called	it	godzilla	1985	.	now	it's	14	years	after	toho's	remake	,	and	director	roland	emmerich	has	allowed	the	giant	lizard	to	make	an	american	first	run	.	in	emmerich's	godzilla	,	matthew	broderick	plays	dr	.	niko	tatopoulos	,	a	biologist	who	is	called	in	to	join	other	scientists	in	the	south	pacific	already	studying	the	existence	of	a	radiation	induced	super	mutant	which	leaves	footprints	the	size	of	livingrooms	.	when	the	mutant	reptile	suddenly	appears	out	of	the	hudson	river	,	tatopoulos	and	the	rest	of	the	team	relocate	themselves	back	to	the	states	.	meanwhile	,	tatopoulos's	college	girlfriend	,	audrey	timmonds	(	maria	pitillo	)	,	works	in	new	york	city	as	an	assistant	to	a	big	time	news	reporter	.	she'd	like	to	be	a	reporter	herself	,	and	when	godzilla	comes	ashore	,	she	figures	this	is	her	big	break	.	of	course	,	with	the	big	guy	running	amok	in	the	city	,	niko	and	audrey	are	bound	to	cross	paths	,	and	are	joined	by	victor	"	animal	"	palotti	(	hank	azaria	)	,	audrey's	trusty	cameraman	friend	,	and	phillipe	roche	(	jean	reno	)	,	an	operative	for	the	french	government	,	whose	nuclear	testing	started	the	whole	problem	in	the	first	place	.	together	they	attempt	to	find	and	destroy	the	surprisingly	elusive	godzilla	.	with	the	resources	of	the	most	cutting	edge	special	effects	houses	and	the	clout	of	one	of	the	nation's	premiere	movie	production	companies	,	one	would	think	emmerich	could	make	a	film	truly	deserving	of	the	name	godzilla	.	he	didn't	.	right	up	there	with	the	lost	world	,	godzilla	is	one	of	the	biggest	disappointments	in	recent	cinematic	history	.	the	plot	is	pretty	much	what	we	expect	:	the	big	dinosaur	like	creature	comes	out	of	the	water	and	starts	smashing	new	york	city	,	and	it's	up	to	our	heroes	to	figure	out	why	this	thing	is	on	its	rampage	and	how	it	can	be	stopped	,	while	the	military	makes	futile	attempts	to	bring	the	creature	down	.	the	script	,	however	,	is	painfully	bad	.	it's	fraught	with	lines	so	corny	,	they	don't	even	belong	in	b	movies	,	and	includes	many	character	actions	which	make	you	think	,	"	you	idiot	,	"	or	"	you	stupid	girl	.	"	i	suppose	when	you've	got	a	movie	with	a	giant	lizard	loose	in	new	york	,	any	other	semblance	of	reality	goes	out	the	window	as	well	.	why	is	it	that	godzilla	topples	some	buildings	by	merely	brushing	against	them	,	but	is	conveniently	able	to	leap	atop	others	?	why	do	helicopters	have	to	follow	godzilla	by	flying	dangerously	between	buildings	where	they	can	lose	sight	of	him	,	when	they	could	more	easily	keep	track	of	him	by	flying	a	little	higher	and	in	a	straight	line	?	why	do	sidewinder	missiles	,	which	have	small	explosive	warheads	,	blow	up	entire	buildings	when	they	miss	godzilla	?	why	is	a	mission	to	bomb	madison	square	garden	carried	out	by	three	f	18	fighter	bombers	,	when	flights	of	such	aircraft	are	always	comprised	of	multiples	of	two	?	okay	,	maybe	the	last	one	was	a	bit	nit	picky	,	but	hey	,	i	was	on	a	roll	.	broderick	is	usually	a	good	actor	,	but	in	this	film	he's	weighed	down	by	an	unexciting	character	and	an	atrocious	screenplay	which	seem	to	fight	against	him	every	step	of	the	way	.	hank	azaria	does	what	he	can	,	but	don't	expect	to	see	development	of	any	of	the	promise	he	showed	in	the	birdcage	.	like	broderick's	,	azaria's	character	is	quite	simply	lacking	in	color	.	what	really	annoyed	me	was	maria	pitillo	,	who	actually	takes	the	bad	script	and	makes	it	worse	with	her	acting	.	casting	must	have	been	asleep	on	this	one	.	the	one	bright	spot	here	is	jean	reno	,	who	oddly	enough	seems	to	fit	well	into	a	role	which	is	often	comedic	,	quite	unlike	what	we've	seem	him	do	in	the	past	.	although	his	character	is	contradictory	to	the	unfolding	disaster	,	reno	brings	a	style	to	the	role	of	phillipe	which	makes	him	enjoyable	.	unfortunately	,	the	same	cannot	be	said	of	the	other	incongruities	.	the	entire	feel	of	the	movie	is	tongue	in	cheek	,	and	seems	to	pay	comical	homage	to	a	dozen	or	so	films	that	have	come	before	it	.	this	results	in	a	significant	amount	of	parody	,	which	contrasts	sharply	with	the	threat	of	the	monster	,	and	ends	up	just	producing	a	mess	.	most	of	the	characters	seem	to	be	there	for	comic	relief	,	and	almost	none	are	smart	enough	for	the	audience	to	take	seriously	.	although	emmerich	obviously	wanted	to	make	a	fun	action	picture	,	what	good	is	it	to	sink	millions	into	a	cgi	creature	whose	ferocity	is	undermined	by	the	humans	he	threatens	?	if	we	can't	take	the	characters	seriously	,	the	threat	they	face	is	an	empty	one	because	we	simply	don't	care	what	happens	to	them	.	godzilla	simply	pulls	too	many	punches	in	its	attempt	to	be	a	film	more	light	hearted	than	it	should	be	.	far	be	it	from	me	to	want	to	see	more	carnage	in	the	theaters	,	but	here's	a	behemoth	running	through	the	city	!	there's	bound	to	be	a	lot	of	casualties	,	but	instead	godzilla	is	afflicted	with	the	after	school	g	.	i	.	joe	cartoon	syndrome	,	where	almost	everyone	seems	to	get	out	of	harm's	way	just	in	time	.	in	a	couple	of	scenes	,	godzilla	briefly	breathes	fire	.	none	of	the	characters	even	remark	upon	this	ability	,	nor	is	it	used	to	any	particular	advantage	by	the	filmmakers	.	it's	as	if	the	special	effects	people	just	wanted	to	show	that	yes	,	godzilla	can	do	this	,	just	like	in	the	old	movie	.	consider	another	punch	pulled	.	through	creative	script	writing	,	you	can	make	a	sequel	out	of	just	about	any	movie	,	but	the	final	scene	in	this	one	doesn't	just	leave	the	door	open	,	it	opens	into	a	hallway	leading	directly	into	a	room	where	godzilla	ii	is	waiting	patiently	.	it	made	me	want	to	gag	.	emmerich	should	have	done	away	with	90	of	the	humor	and	in	jokes	and	played	this	one	as	a	straight	action	film	.	with	an	intelligently	written	screenplay	,	godzilla	could	have	been	so	much	more	.	however	,	by	confusing	the	viewer	with	a	ton	of	add	ins	and	parodies	,	the	movie	ends	up	being	something	that	just	doesn't	work	.	now	if	they	only	had	raymond	burr	.	.	.	.
neg	it's	difficult	to	write	a	review	of	'in	and	out'	without	giving	too	much	away	.	when	i	first	heard	about	this	film	that	bills	itself	as	a	comedy	i	was	afraid	that	it	might	be	offensive	to	members	of	the	gay	community	.	i	don't	know	how	some	will	react	but	as	a	straight	person	,	i	found	it	had	many	problems	which	i	will	describe	later	on	.	it's	about	a	small	town	english	teacher	(	kevin	kline	)	whose	former	student	goes	on	to	win	an	academy	award	and	during	his	acceptance	speech	thanks	everyone	who	helped	him	make	it	possible	and	in	his	thanks	he	singles	out	kline	as	his	former	teacher	and	declares	at	the	end	of	his	speech	that	kline	is	gay	.	needless	to	say	this	causes	the	usual	uproar	of	intolerance	within	the	community	from	the	close	minded	while	it	shocks	and	surprises	many	others	.	kline	insists	he	is	not	gay	but	it's	hard	to	convince	everyone	and	his	wedding	is	in	three	days	!	two	of	the	best	films	i've	seen	in	recent	years	dealing	with	homosexuality	were	'kiss	of	the	spider	woman'	(	1985	)	and	'longtime	companion'	(	1990	)	.	what	these	films	had	in	common	is	that	they	both	took	a	forward	look	at	their	subject	matter	without	making	more	about	their	themes	than	was	necessary	.	they	were	extremely	well	acted	(	william	hurt	won	the	oscar	for	'kiss	of	the	spider	woman'	)	and	they	were	memorable	.	what	'in	and	out'	does	is	take	this	very	sensitive	subject	matter	and	treats	its	second	half	by	being	flagrantly	condescending	.	to	tell	you	anything	more	than	that	would	spoil	the	film	but	its	climax	is	disappointing	and	the	entire	film	has	frumpy	humor	to	boot	and	doesn't	quite	know	in	many	scenes	when	to	make	its	point	and	leave	.	when	the	credits	roll	up	the	screen	there	are	many	unanswered	questions	and	'in	and	out'	is	a	true	disappointment	and	believe	me	if	you've	laughed	at	the	coming	soon	attraction	of	this	film	or	the	television	commercial	advertising	it	,	then	you've	already	seen	most	of	the	funny	moments	.
neg	what	were	they	thinking	?	nostalgia	for	the	seventies	is	bad	enough	,	but	do	we	really	need	an	eighties	film	?	robbie	hart	(	adam	sandler	)	used	to	want	to	be	a	rock	and	roll	star	,	but	in	1985	he's	singing	at	weddings	and	having	a	good	time	.	a	romantic	at	heart	,	he	loves	weddings	and	is	just	about	to	get	married	to	his	high	school	sweetie	.	when	she	leaves	him	waiting	at	the	altar	,	his	tune	changes	to	"	love	stinks	"	.	he	meets	waitress	julia	(	drew	barrymore	)	who	is	engaged	to	a	junk	bonds	salesman	and	you	know	that	they	are	going	to	get	together	.	in	fact	you	know	everything	that	is	going	to	happen	during	this	movie	.	sandler	is	somewhat	adequate	in	his	leading	man	role	,	but	there	is	no	spark	.	barrymore	doesn't	seem	to	be	able	to	convey	anything	other	than	a	pretty	face	with	nothing	behind	it	:	beauty	but	no	attitude	.	both	characters	are	just	there	.	bit	parts	by	steve	buscemi	and	jon	lovitz	steal	the	show	.	the	eighties	are	shoved	in	our	face	.	references	to	deloreans	,	madonna	,	"	dallas	"	,	ivana	and	donald	,	burt	and	loni	and	"	miami	vice	"	get	old	fast	.	the	filmmakers	must	have	realized	that	there	wasn't	much	entertainment	to	the	story	and	thought	they	could	dazzle	the	audience	with	humorous	period	allusions	.	they're	not	funny	and	it	doesn't	work	.	with	change	on	all	fronts	accelerating	more	and	more	,	nostalgia	appears	to	have	a	great	appeal	,	but	don't	you	think	we	could	have	more	than	14	years	before	we	yearn	for	the	past	.	maybe	we	can	look	forward	to	a	film	next	year	waxing	nostalgically	about	el	nino	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	23	years	and	he	knows	that	nostalgia	is	not	what	it	used	to	be	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	3	5	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	a	big	house	.	a	big	director	,	jan	de	bont	of	speed	and	twister	fame	.	a	big	star	,	catherine	zeta	jones	,	hot	of	the	heels	of	entrapment	(	6	.	5	10	)	and	zorro	.	a	big	remake	of	the	haunting	.	and	big	special	effects	.	so	what	do	they	all	amount	to	?	unfortunately	for	us	,	a	big	bore	!	plot	:	a	hotshot	doctor	brings	three	insomniacs	to	an	old	,	spooky	mansion	for	controlled	testing	.	unbeknownst	to	the	patients	,	the	good	doctor	is	actually	conducting	his	own	cover	project	that	has	to	do	with	the	psychology	of	fear	.	critique	:	this	movie	just	didn't	scare	me	one	bit	.	sure	,	it	creeped	and	spooked	me	out	a	little	here	and	there	,	but	on	the	whole	,	it	took	waaaaay	too	long	to	get	going	,	provided	very	little	meat	in	the	plot	,	went	way	past	its	own	bedtime	,	and	basically	relied	on	grunts	,	the	muttering	of	children's	voices	and	over	the	top	special	effects	,	to	scare	us	.	well	,	this	film	didn't	do	much	for	me	.	and	they	might	as	well	have	called	it	the	"	haunting	of	lily	taylor	"	,	since	she's	basically	the	only	character	who	had	any	real	depth	,	background	or	reason	to	be	in	the	house	in	the	first	place	.	don't	get	me	wrong	,	catherine	zeta	was	sweet	window	dressing	(	despite	my	continued	perception	of	her	faint	mustache	see	entrapment	)	,	and	owen	wilson	was	good	as	the	standard	"	comic	relief	"	,	but	come	on	people	,	if	you're	going	to	have	us	sit	through	two	hours	in	a	theater	with	these	folks	,	how	'bout	giving	them	a	little	more	than	one	liners	as	dimension	.	neeson	was	also	wasted	as	the	smart	,	british	guy	.	it's	all	too	sad	,	cause	certainly	the	"	idea	"	seemed	like	a	good	one	(	see	the	shining	(	9	10	)	for	a	close	to	perfect	example	of	a	creepy	gone	awry	)	,	but	the	story	was	thin	,	the	conclusion	was	laughable	(	be	gone	.	.	.	poof	!	)	and	the	special	effects	?	well	,	they	sure	were	nice	to	look	at	,	but	not	for	a	moment	did	one	of	them	scare	,	or	even	for	a	split	second	,	have	me	believe	that	they	were	anything	more	than	hollywood	special	gadgetry	.	see	it	for	zeta	jones	,	or	if	you	like	special	effects	and	scary	movies	that	take	forever	to	get	going	,	and	provide	very	little	payback	,	otherwise	skip	it	and	check	out	the	original	or	the	ultimate	movie	about	spooky	homes	from	the	netherworld	,	the	shining	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	goofy	actor	owen	wilson	co	scripted	indie	favorites	rushmore	(	8	10	)	and	bottle	rocket	with	director	wes	anderson	.	his	brother	luke	wilson	is	also	an	actor	,	who	once	dated	drew	barrymore	for	a	year	or	so	.	brother	andrew	is	also	an	actor	.	singer	lisa	loeb	is	listed	in	the	credits	as	having	portrayed	the	character	of	olivia	morice	,	but	i	personally	did	not	notice	her	.	she	is	well	known	for	her	number	one	single	"	stay	(	i	missed	you	)	"	and	goofy	glasses	.	the	creaks	and	moans	heard	throughout	the	house	were	prerecorded	and	played	during	filming	in	order	to	get	a	more	natural	expression	of	fear	out	of	the	actors	.	catherine	zeta	jones	is	currently	dating	flabby	ass	actor	michael	"	sex	is	my	life	"	douglas	.	she	stands	5'8	"	.	in	1998	,	actor	michael	rapaport	pleaded	guilty	to	the	aggravated	harassment	of	lily	taylor	.	he	was	ordered	to	stay	away	from	her	and	undergo	counseling	for	one	year	.	actor	bruce	dern	,	who	plays	the	throwaway	role	of	the	gatekeeper	in	this	film	,	was	once	nominated	for	an	oscar	for	best	supporting	actor	for	his	role	in	coming	home	.	director	jan	de	bont	was	born	in	holland	,	and	began	his	lengthy	career	as	a	cinematographer	on	films	as	die	hard	,	hunt	for	red	october	and	basic	instinct	,	directed	by	another	dutchman	,	paul	verhoeven	.	actor	todd	field	also	played	a	small	but	pivotal	role	in	stanley	kubrick's	last	film	,	eyes	wide	shut	.	he	was	nick	nightingale	,	the	pianist	.	this	film	was	originally	titled	the	haunting	of	hill	house	.
neg	director	:	simon	west	cast	:	john	travolta	,	madeleine	stowe	,	james	cromwell	,	timothy	hutton	,	clarence	williams	iii	,	james	woods	,	rick	dial	,	leslie	stefanson	screenplay	:	christopher	bertolini	,	william	goldman	(	based	on	a	novel	by	nelson	demille	)	producers	:	mace	neufeld	runtime	:	120	min	.	us	distribution	:	paramount	pictures	rated	r	:	graphic	sexual	violence	,	nudity	,	language	copyright	1999	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonthe	general's	daughter	is	a	heartless	,	absurd	film	,	a	movie	so	hopelessly	dedicated	to	its	inane	plot	that	it	forgets	entirely	about	its	own	characters	.	director	simon	west	treats	issues	like	rape	and	sexual	fetish	with	ham	handed	obscenity	,	creating	a	film	that	banks	almost	entirely	on	exploitation	and	offensive	pseudo	depth	.	what's	worse	is	that	the	movie	is	haphazardly	glued	together	by	two	characters	who	are	neither	interesting	nor	sympathetic	the	ridiculous	story	requires	them	to	do	unbelievable	things	in	the	interest	of	reaching	a	dark	conclusion	in	a	sudden	rain	storm	.	john	travolta	finds	himself	in	the	middle	of	the	mess	,	playing	warrant	officer	paul	brenner	;	brenner	is	assigned	to	find	the	murderer	and	rape	of	captain	elizabeth	campbell	(	leslie	stefanson	)	,	daughter	of	general	joe	campbell	(	james	cromwell	)	.	brenner	is	teamed	up	with	ex	spouse	sarah	sunderland	(	madeline	stowe	)	,	and	they	check	out	all	the	suspects	on	the	base	,	including	elizabeth's	mentor	,	colonel	moore	(	james	woods	)	.	soon	,	it	becomes	apparent	that	elizabeth	was	into	kinky	sexual	stuff	,	but	the	question	comes	down	to	why	and	,	of	course	,	who	.	ebert's	law	of	the	economy	of	characters	can	be	applied	here	;	one	interesting	thing	i	noted	is	that	not	only	are	all	the	characters	suspects	at	some	point	(	including	the	two	protagonists	)	,	but	almost	all	of	them	end	up	directly	intertwined	with	the	story	.	perhaps	i	should	have	issued	a	spoiler	alert	before	mentioning	that	,	but	it's	painfully	obvious	from	the	beginning	that	everyone	in	the	film	is	hiding	something	.	on	a	story	level	,	the	general's	daughter	is	ineptly	constructed	.	the	film	,	adapted	by	christopher	bertolini	and	william	goldman	from	nelson	demille's	novel	(	which	was	apparently	based	on	a	true	story	)	,	plods	along	to	its	conclusion	,	filling	in	the	blanks	with	stale	,	unrealistic	dialogue	and	"	shocking	"	plot	developments	.	having	not	read	the	novel	,	it's	difficult	to	determine	if	these	problems	are	the	fault	of	the	adapters	or	the	original	author	,	but	i	suppose	they	all	are	guilty	to	some	degree	.	scene	after	scene	stumbles	with	pointless	insincerity	;	minutes	after	finding	the	dead	young	woman	,	brenner	and	sunderland	engage	in	sarcastic	dialogue	,	which	includes	endless	strings	of	forced	lines	.	(	sunderland	actually	asks	brenner	,	"	why	was	she	killed	?	"	to	which	i	would	have	answered	,	"	if	i	knew	,	then	the	movie	would	already	be	over	.	"	)	only	after	we've	spent	twenty	minutes	or	so	with	these	characters	do	we	learn	that	they	have	a	sordid	history	together	;	this	angle	,	though	apparently	present	to	develop	their	characters	,	is	never	explored	.	not	that	it	really	matters	,	since	the	characters	consistently	do	ludicrous	things	for	no	other	reason	than	to	drive	the	plot	.	in	one	scene	,	sunderland	is	attacked	by	a	man	in	a	mask	.	she	sees	one	of	his	rings	,	and	she	and	brenner	find	the	man	later	that	day	based	on	the	ring	.	instead	of	questioning	him	like	as	they	would	a	real	suspect	,	they	take	him	to	brenner's	houseboat	,	beat	him	up	,	and	pour	hot	coffee	in	his	lap	.	this	scene	really	pushed	me	over	the	edge	,	not	because	it's	gratuitous	and	mean	spirited	,	but	because	it	illustrates	the	film's	complete	disregard	for	the	characters	and	the	audience	.	it	was	impossible	for	me	to	feel	anything	for	these	people	beyond	this	scene	,	mostly	because	nothing	they	do	comes	as	a	surprise	.	i	realized	that	these	constructs	on	screen	aren't	actually	characters	,	but	devices	present	only	to	serve	the	story	.	this	would	have	been	bad	enough	without	the	west's	need	to	hose	his	movie	down	in	tasteless	images	of	rape	and	sexual	misconduct	.	compelling	films	about	sexual	crimes	don't	spend	a	lot	of	time	on	rape	flashbacks	,	and	they	certainly	don't	show	as	much	skin	and	sweat	as	a	typical	pornographic	picture	.	these	scenes	are	not	the	least	bit	powerful	;	on	the	contrary	,	they're	intended	simply	to	provide	the	audience	with	the	necessary	resentment	for	the	villain	,	whomever	that	may	turn	out	to	be	.	in	addition	,	the	movie	treats	sexual	fetishes	and	sadomasochism	in	particular	as	if	it's	a	perversion	of	everything	we	know	to	be	pure	.	this	standpoint	is	certainly	allowed	,	but	only	in	accompaniment	with	well	developed	themes	to	back	it	up	.	as	it	is	,	the	film	forgets	that	a	lot	of	people	have	sexual	fetishes	,	and	that	putting	on	a	pair	of	handcuffs	does	not	make	a	person	insane	.	perhaps	the	only	positive	elements	in	the	general's	daughter	are	a	couple	of	the	performances	.	james	woods	has	a	few	terrific	scenes	,	and	plays	his	role	with	sharp	,	witty	subtlety	.	i	also	liked	james	cromwell	,	mostly	because	he	comes	across	as	slightly	sympathetic	despite	the	obvious	intent	of	west	to	make	him	villainous	.	nonetheless	,	these	performances	are	undermined	entirely	by	the	dreary	,	obligatory	atmosphere	and	the	senseless	neglect	of	characterization	.	the	general's	daughter	is	the	worst	kind	of	hollywood	film	it	pretends	to	have	a	soul	,	to	be	of	strict	moral	code	,	when	in	fact	it	has	nothing	more	than	a	group	of	cardboard	cut	outs	force	feeding	the	audience	a	toxic	landfill	of	plot	contrivances	and	one	sided	moral	judgments	.
neg	the	most	absurd	remake	of	1998	?	it's	a	toss	up	between	gus	van	sant's	psycho	and	mighty	joe	young	,	the	new	disney	picture	based	on	the	old	rko	picture	.	(	i	knew	i	was	in	trouble	when	a	polished	,	computer	generated	version	of	that	famous	rko	logo	appeared	before	the	head	credits	.	)	there	is	no	great	demand	for	another	giant	ape	movie	make	that	ape	movie	,	period	.	(	witness	the	quick	deaths	of	buddy	,	born	to	be	wild	and	congo	.	)	and	while	this	latest	entry	is	inoffensive	and	watchable	,	it's	also	an	assembly	line	product	through	and	through	,	lacking	the	charm	and	unpredictability	of	the	jungle	serials	that	partly	inspired	it	.	theron	is	jill	young	:	as	a	young	girl	in	the	wilds	of	africa	,	she	befriended	a	baby	gorilla	after	both	their	mothers	were	slain	by	poachers	.	that	baby	gorilla	(	nicknamed	joe	)	grows	to	immense	proportions	,	and	adult	jill	basically	bides	her	time	looking	after	him	,	playing	hide	and	seek	with	him	and	guarding	him	against	poachers	.	enter	conservationist	greg	(	paxton	)	,	who	convinces	jill	to	move	with	joe	to	california	,	where	they	can	protect	him	better	in	a	controlled	environment	.	joe	is	restless	at	first	;	no	sooner	does	he	finally	settle	in	to	the	new	place	than	those	nasty	poachers	show	up	in	l	.	a	.	,	plotting	joe's	demise	.	suffice	it	to	say	,	the	movie	could	have	been	called	"	joe	:	ape	in	the	city	.	"	theron	(	so	good	in	devil's	advocate	)	and	paxton	(	so	good	in	the	recent	a	simple	plan	)	are	fine	actors	,	but	not	fine	enough	to	transcend	the	material	,	a	paint	by	numbers	script	from	the	hack	writers	of	superman	iv	and	mercury	rising	.	the	plot	arguably	borrows	more	from	steven	spielberg's	the	lost	world	than	the	1949	original	,	with	the	computer	generated	t	rex	i	mean	,	joe	wreaking	havoc	on	the	busy	streets	for	an	encore	;	the	storytelling	becomes	especially	lazy	during	this	final	third	,	with	jill	shouting	,	"	look	,	joe's	headed	for	the	movie	theatre	!	"	followed	by	a	shot	of	joe	scaling	mann's	chinese	theater	;	a	moment	later	,	jill	shouts	again	something	like	"	look	,	joe's	headed	for	an	amusement	park	!	"	and	what	do	you	know	,	there's	joe	at	the	pallisades	carnival	,	scaring	the	bejesus	out	of	innocent	thrillseekers	.	the	seams	of	last	minute	edits	to	mighty	joe	young	show	unrelated	scenes	are	patched	together	with	quick	dissolves	.	the	movie	sure	feels	uneven	,	regardless	:	act	two	is	underdeveloped	,	while	a	little	of	joe	smashing	cars	in	act	three	goes	a	long	,	long	way	.	underwood	(	tremors	,	speechless	)	was	perhaps	not	the	director	for	the	job	;	even	the	plentiful	,	untamed	landscape	looks	dull	in	his	hands	.	(	capturing	the	beauty	of	nature	requires	more	than	his	point	and	shoot	style	.	)	i	did	enjoy	certain	sequences	,	especially	the	demoliton	of	a	black	tie	dinner	sequence	;	and	the	prologue	,	however	implausible	,	is	touching	.	(	as	a	tyke	,	joe	acts	just	like	e	.	t	.	)	rick	baker's	make	up	effects	and	puppetry	are	outstanding	,	the	real	star	of	the	show	yet	,	for	all	its	technical	flawlessness	,	the	creature	remains	too	grumpy	and	homicidal	to	love	.	(	his	facial	expressions	are	variations	on	a	scowl	.	)	to	be	fair	,	i	saw	mighty	joe	young	in	a	cinema	packed	with	wailing	children	it's	a	wonder	i	was	able	to	decipher	the	dialogue	.	it's	certainly	not	a	film	for	very	young	kids	intense	fighting	scenes	may	scare	them	,	while	any	time	joe's	not	on	camera	may	bore	them	to	tears	.	(	note	:	older	boys	are	more	likely	to	be	dazzled	by	theron's	colourful	array	of	tank	tops	.	)	i	suspect	bland	mighty	joe	young	is	passable	entertainment	for	a	family	outing	,	but	they	sure	don't	make	em	like	they	used	to	.
neg	capsule	:	this	super	light	situation	comedy	from	sweden	tells	the	story	of	two	close	friends	with	romantic	problems	.	the	script	involves	formerly	taboo	subjects	like	erotic	toys	and	sexual	enhancers	but	otherwise	the	writing	is	not	a	lot	different	from	what	is	shown	free	on	television	.	the	characters	are	paper	thin	and	the	interesting	ideas	purely	non	existent	.	this	is	a	decrement	life	by	90	minutes	card	.	rating	:	4	(	0	to	10	)	,	0	(	4	to	4	)	jalla	!	jalla	!	is	basically	an	exuberant	tv	situation	comedy	written	instead	for	the	wide	screen	.	it	tells	the	story	of	two	park	custodians	and	the	problems	they	are	finding	on	the	path	to	true	love	.	the	film	is	set	in	sweden	where	roro	and	mans	(	fares	fares	and	torkel	petersson	)	are	custodians	at	a	public	park	.	roro	is	from	a	tightly	knit	lebanese	family	who	control	him	very	closely	,	mans	is	a	swede	from	a	much	more	liberal	background	.	they	spend	most	of	the	day	in	the	bushes	at	their	park	,	cleaning	up	after	dogs	.	roro	and	mans	each	have	girlfriends	,	but	each	has	a	problem	.	roro	(	nicknamed	"	jalla	"	)	is	having	family	problems	.	it	seems	that	his	family	wants	to	arrange	a	marriage	between	him	and	a	nice	lebanese	woman	,	yasmin	(	laleh	pourkarim	)	,	but	he	is	already	in	love	with	lisa	(	tuva	novotny	)	.	yasmin	likes	roro	,	but	does	not	want	to	get	married	either	.	mans	on	the	other	hand	has	been	having	a	problem	of	sexual	impotence	.	the	two	friends	worry	about	their	problems	and	discuss	the	problems	with	each	other	.	mans	thinks	the	answer	to	his	problem	is	to	purchase	sexual	enhancers	.	the	one	catch	is	that	he	is	too	shy	to	go	in	and	buy	them	.	roro	and	yasmin	decide	to	give	themselves	some	time	by	telling	the	families	that	they	want	to	marry	each	other	,	but	then	plan	to	break	up	before	the	wedding	.	not	too	surprisingly	neither	finds	that	his	idea	works	out	the	way	he	quite	expected	.	the	plot	turns	in	several	places	are	contrived	.	one	knows	fairly	quickly	that	if	things	are	going	to	work	our	happily	for	everybody	certain	plot	contrivances	have	to	happen	.	lebanese	born	josef	fares	who	wrote	and	directed	is	perhaps	a	better	director	than	he	is	a	writer	.	when	things	start	to	get	slow	,	he	just	adds	throws	in	another	story	.	for	example	halfway	into	the	film	mans	innocently	antagonizes	some	local	toughs	and	a	long	chase	is	added	to	the	film	.	characterization	is	a	little	better	with	roro	than	it	is	with	mans	who	does	not	seem	to	have	a	whole	lot	more	personality	beyond	fear	for	losing	a	biological	function	.	we	do	see	some	of	roro's	family	life	and	his	concerns	.	that	may	be	because	roro's	background	is	a	lot	like	that	of	the	director	.	while	the	story	was	entertaining	,	i	did	not	feel	that	i	got	anything	worthwhile	from	the	film	.	it	was	just	a	way	to	pass	about	an	hour	and	a	half	in	my	life	.	one	does	not	have	to	go	to	the	movies	to	see	entertainment	like	this	.	i	rate	it	a	4	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	0	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
neg	director	:	jon	turtletaub	cast	:	anthony	hopkins	,	cuba	gooding	jr	.	,	donald	sutherland	,	maura	tierney	,	george	dzundza	screenplay	:	gerald	di	pego	(	based	on	the	novel	by	daniel	quinn	)	producers	:	barbara	boyle	,	michael	taylor	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	buena	vista	pictures	rated	r	:	violence	copyright	1999	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonyou	know	,	i	never	really	wondered	what	the	tarzan	films	would	have	been	like	had	tarzan	been	an	old	man	.	while	watching	instinct	,	i	couldn't	help	but	acknowledge	the	way	the	film	carelessly	rehashes	the	well	explored	themes	of	those	earlier	movies	.	even	beside	the	tarzan	comparison	,	instinct	just	isn't	a	very	good	film	.	it's	painfully	idealistic	,	manipulative	,	and	silly	.	i	didn't	hate	it	it's	simply	impossible	for	me	to	hate	any	film	starring	anthony	hopkins	;	furthermore	,	most	of	the	acting	is	quite	good	.	but	i	can	recognize	instinct	for	what	it	is	beyond	my	subjective	admiration	for	the	actors	involved	.	i	can	also	recognize	reasons	for	wanting	to	make	instinct	,	and	it's	pretty	clear	that	this	could	have	been	a	good	film	with	a	massive	script	overhaul	and	a	director	less	interested	in	imitating	movies	like	patch	adams	.	things	start	off	in	the	predictable	way	,	as	director	jon	turtletaub	introduces	us	to	our	hero	,	theo	caulder	(	cuba	gooding	,	jr	.	)	,	an	ambitious	,	young	psychiatrist	under	the	supervision	of	an	experienced	,	old	psychiatrist	(	donald	sutherland	)	.	caulder	soon	finds	himself	involved	in	the	case	of	his	life	,	the	one	he	thinks	will	make	him	famous	.	the	subject	is	ethan	powell	(	hopkins	)	,	an	anthropologist	who	has	been	living	among	gorillas	in	africa	for	the	past	two	years	.	powell	has	been	charged	with	the	brutal	murders	of	several	men	in	africa	,	and	it's	now	caulder's	job	to	find	out	of	he's	mentally	competent	enough	to	stand	trial	.	through	a	series	of	short	sessions	,	caulder	tries	to	put	together	the	complex	psyche	of	powell	.	even	though	it	really	is	an	old	man	version	of	tarzan	,	much	of	this	central	idea	is	rather	interesting	.	as	i	said	,	hopkins	is	captivating	for	every	second	he's	on	screen	;	he	has	a	way	of	convincing	us	that	he's	not	acting	,	that	he's	actually	a	man	who	has	just	spent	two	years	of	his	life	living	with	a	family	of	wild	gorillas	.	the	character	himself	isn't	very	interesting	he's	just	an	anthropologist	who	really	likes	gorillas	but	hopkins	makes	him	interesting	with	subtleties	both	in	speech	and	action	.	gooding	jr	.	does	strong	work	opposite	hopkins	,	playing	caulder	as	an	intelligent	and	flawed	individual	.	the	screenplay	,	written	by	gerald	di	pego	and	"	suggested	by	"	a	novel	by	daniel	quinn	,	gives	us	no	background	information	on	caulder	,	but	that	seems	to	be	the	point	(	he	has	no	time	for	friends	because	he's	obsessed	with	his	work	)	.	nonetheless	,	these	two	actors	are	essentially	the	entire	list	of	things	that	are	good	about	instinct	.	unfortunately	,	filmmaking	this	inept	can	mangle	the	effect	of	even	the	best	acting	.	turtletaub	and	di	pego	are	both	guilty	of	instinct's	artistic	failure	,	for	they	work	together	to	make	the	dumbest	,	most	cliche	ridden	environment	in	which	their	characters	are	to	live	,	and	they	do	so	by	means	of	brainless	subplots	.	first	,	we	have	the	prison	warden	subplot	.	the	prison	warden	is	evil	and	wants	to	stop	caulder's	progress	at	any	cost	;	if	this	means	taking	caulder	off	the	powell	case	,	then	that's	fine	.	there's	also	the	prison	guard	subplot	.	the	prison	guard	is	played	by	john	ashton	;	the	prison	guard	seems	to	enjoy	mercilessly	beating	upon	the	psychotics	under	his	supervision	,	and	he's	instrumental	in	helping	the	story	along	to	its	obvious	conclusion	.	then	there's	the	daughter	subplot	,	in	which	maura	tierney	(	playing	the	daughter	)	must	look	very	upset	a	lot	of	the	time	;	after	all	,	she	is	the	daughter	of	a	deranged	man	.	if	some	of	this	stuff	sounds	familiar	,	that's	because	they're	all	devices	that	have	been	used	and	reused	in	countless	other	films	.	the	evil	doctor	in	patch	adams	is	not	unlike	the	evil	warden	here	.	the	offensive	caricatures	of	mental	patients	lack	the	depth	that	the	similar	portrayals	in	one	flew	over	the	cuckoo's	nest	had	.	ashton's	evil	prison	guard	pales	in	comparison	to	clancy	brown's	in	the	shawshank	redemption	.	hopkins'	performance	will	undoubtedly	remind	audiences	of	his	turn	in	the	silence	of	the	lambs	.	and	then	there's	the	whole	tarzan	thing	,	which	is	more	than	a	little	bit	obvious	through	the	entire	film	.	perhaps	what	irritates	me	most	about	instinct	is	the	half	hearted	attempt	at	philosophical	depth	.	the	message	powell	brings	back	from	the	wild	is	not	a	subtle	one	:	he	thinks	that	humans	are	"	takers	,	"	that	they	expand	and	kill	and	that	we	should	all	just	live	like	gorillas	.	i	can	sympathize	with	that	,	but	only	when	it's	in	a	compelling	film	.	this	is	the	kind	of	stupid	movie	just	like	patch	adams	in	which	a	big	group	of	characters	(	psychotic	inmates	,	in	this	case	)	rise	against	the	evil	forces	oppressing	them	by	tearing	up	playing	cards	.	what	does	any	of	this	have	to	do	with	a	man	who	has	just	spent	two	years	of	his	life	with	gorillas	?	if	all	the	subplots	of	instinct	had	been	left	on	the	cutting	room	floor	,	we	would	have	had	a	thirty	minute	movie	far	superior	to	the	two	hour	one	that	i	watched	today	.	if	the	central	idea	had	been	developed	beyond	the	old	man	tarzan	premise	,	then	we	would	really	have	had	something	interesting	a	movie	that	doesn't	rely	on	the	strength	of	its	actors	.
neg	_	dead	_	man	_	on	_	campus	_	(	r	)	(	out	of	)	while	i	am	not	fond	of	any	writer's	use	of	cheap	,	easy	puns	,	i	am	not	completely	above	using	them	myself	when	the	situation	merits	it	(	witness	my	review	of	_	pecker	_	from	a	couple	of	issues	ago	)	.	so	here	goes	:	the	juvenile	,	college	set	black	comedy	_	dead	_	man	_	on	_	campus	_	is	dead	on	arrival	.	strait	laced	med	student	josh	(	tom	everett	scott	,	who	manages	to	remain	somewhat	likable	throughout	)	's	blemish	free	academic	record	breaks	out	into	fs	,	thanks	to	the	influence	of	his	ever	partying	roommate	,	cooper	(	mark	paul	gosselaar	)	,	who	introduces	josh	to	the	sex	and	booze	filled	nights	that	come	with	university	life	.	with	the	threat	of	losing	an	academic	scholarship	(	josh	)	and	a	life	cleaning	toilets	for	his	dad	looming	(	cooper	)	,	what	are	two	good	hearted	slackers	to	do	?	easy	look	for	a	loophole	,	which	they	find	in	the	form	of	an	unbelievable	rule	in	the	school	charter	that	states	that	if	a	student's	(	or	students'	)	roommate	commits	suicide	,	the	surviving	student	(	s	)	shall	receive	straight	as	.	so	instead	of	studying	,	josh	and	cooper	attempt	to	seek	out	the	most	depressed	student	out	there	,	move	him	into	their	dorm	room	,	and	drive	him	to	suicide	before	the	semester	ends	.	director	alan	cohn	and	screenwriters	michael	traeger	and	mike	white	(	working	from	a	story	by	anthony	abrams	and	adam	larson	broder	)	take	their	sweet	time	to	build	the	head	of	steam	that	comes	with	josh	and	cooper's	diabolical	plot	.	until	then	,	the	usual	boring	cliches	of	college	life	(	booze	,	sex	,	more	booze	)	fill	the	time	,	which	is	made	to	feel	longer	by	_	saved	_	by	_	the	_	bell	_	alumnus	gosselaar's	sitcom	bred	mugging	.	that	said	,	once	cohn	and	company	do	build	some	comic	momentum	,	they	mishandle	it	.	the	introduction	of	the	manic	,	psychotic	cliff	(	lochlyn	munro	)	,	a	potential	roommate	for	josh	and	cooper	,	brings	some	demented	life	to	the	uninspired	proceedings	before	being	hastily	written	out	in	favor	of	two	less	interesting	candidates	:	paranoid	nerd	buckley	(	randy	pearlstein	)	and	british	death	rocker	matt	(	corey	page	)	.	one	wishes	that	cliff	would	reappear	,	but	,	as	they	say	,	be	careful	what	you	wish	for	.	not	surprisingly	,	he	does	resurface	,	and	it	then	becomes	clear	that	this	is	a	character	that	is	best	taken	in	a	small	dose	;	almost	immediately	,	his	extended	boorish	and	sociopathic	antics	loses	its	novelty	.	the	same	can	be	said	about	all	of	_	dead	_	man	_	on	_	campus	_	.	whatever	morbid	appeal	the	far	fetched	premise	has	quickly	evaporates	,	and	the	self	absorbed	characters	,	especially	cooper	,	pretty	much	grate	from	the	get	go	.	_	dead	_	man	_	doesn't	grow	tiresome	;	it	already	_	is	_	once	the	clever	opening	titles	are	through	.	as	it	slogs	along	to	a	cheesy	,	happy	for	all	parties	conclusion	,	_	dead	_	man	_	lives	up	to	its	title	and	then	some	not	only	does	the	movie	grow	even	more	tired	and	die	,	it	still	insists	on	going	on	.	.	.	like	a	zombie	.
neg	john	carpenter's	ghosts	of	mars	(	2001	)	1	2	star	out	of	4	.	starring	ice	cube	,	natasha	henstridge	,	jason	statham	,	pam	grier	,	joanna	cassidy	and	clea	duvall	.	written	by	larry	sulkis	and	john	carpenter	.	music	by	john	carpenter	.	directed	by	carpenter	.	rated	r	.	the	red	planet	runs	redder	in	john	carpenter's	ghosts	of	mars	.	those	who	enjoy	watching	decapitations	and	body	limbs	being	hacked	off	will	go	orgasmic	over	this	cartoonish	piece	of	unoriginality	.	this	pulplike	outing	is	sloppy	and	derivative	,	owing	much	to	carpenter's	first	big	hit	,	assault	on	precinct	13	.	so	many	parts	of	this	movie	go	haywire	that	finding	a	starting	point	is	difficult	.	first	,	carpenter	offers	a	crash	course	on	martian	colonization	,	explaining	that	the	colonists	established	a	matriarchal	society	.	this	is	merely	a	setup	so	the	audience	won't	be	shocked	when	they	see	female	cops	bossing	men	around	.	big	deal	.	then	,	there's	the	confusing	story	structure	.	the	film	is	told	in	flashback	by	lt	.	ballard	(	natasha	henstridge	)	,	the	sole	survivor	of	a	team	set	to	a	distant	mining	town	to	check	on	a	disturbance	and	bring	back	and	well	known	criminal	named	james	"	desolation	"	williams	(	ice	cube	)	,	whose	characterization	is	most	reminiscent	of	carpenter's	napoleon	wilson	from	precinct	13	.	cube's	williams	even	cribs	some	dialogue	that	is	similar	to	lines	spoken	by	wilson	in	the	earlier	flick	.	it	seems	that	every	major	character	must	be	given	his	or	her	own	flashback	,	explaining	events	we	are	watching	as	they	do	voice	overs	.	it	becomes	most	repetitious	and	boring	.	carpenter	takes	too	long	in	building	up	the	suspense	,	and	the	payoff	is	a	big	let	down	.	the	martian	ghosts	really	dustlike	particles	that	take	over	humans	create	an	army	of	zombies	who	run	around	shouting	and	killing	colonists	.	the	army	also	is	a	rip	off	of	the	anonymous	gangbangers	who	were	mowed	down	during	precinct	13	.	even	what	is	supposed	to	pass	for	witty	repartee	between	henstridge's	ballard	and	ice	cube's	williams	seems	forced	.	the	chemistry	factor	is	zero	.	carpenter	does	add	a	couple	of	interesting	touches	.	ballard	and	her	mouthy	subordinate	,	jericho	(	jason	statham	)	sneak	off	into	a	store	room	where	jericho	suggests	they	have	one	last	fling	before	facing	the	overwhelming	odds	against	them	.	instead	of	acting	insulted	or	slapping	his	face	,	ballard	pauses	,	agrees	with	him	and	begins	sucking	face	.	before	anything	can	happen	,	though	,	those	rude	martians	begin	attacking	again	.	ghosts	of	mars	is	one	of	carpenter's	weakest	efforts	yet	,	and	he	has	helmed	a	bunch	of	howlers	.	and	carpenter	doesn't	help	with	his	obnoxious	,	pulsating	and	loud	score	that	blares	every	suspenseful	piece	of	business	as	if	it	was	the	most	important	bit	of	action	in	the	movie	.	this	is	one	of	those	watch	movies	.	no	,	you're	not	watching	the	screen	,	but	checking	your	time	piece	to	try	to	determine	when	it	will	all	end	.	ghosts	of	mars	is	a	snoozer	.	only	the	explosions	may	interfere	with	your	napping	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
neg	call	it	a	road	trip	for	the	walking	wounded	.	stellan	skarsgrd	plays	such	a	convincingly	zombified	drunken	loser	that	it's	difficult	to	spend	nearly	two	hours	of	screen	time	in	his	smelly	,	boozed	out	presence	.	yet	this	ever	reliable	swedish	actor	adds	depth	and	significance	to	the	otherwise	plodding	and	forgettable	aberdeen	,	a	sentimental	and	painfully	mundane	european	drama	.	playwright	august	strindberg	built	his	career	on	families	and	relationships	paralyzed	by	secrets	,	unable	to	express	their	longings	until	the	hour	is	far	too	late	.	that's	an	accurate	reflection	of	what	aberdeen	strives	for	,	focusing	on	the	pairing	of	an	alcoholic	father	,	tomas	(	skarsgrd	)	and	his	alienated	,	openly	hostile	yuppie	daughter	,	kaisa	(	lena	headey	,	gossip	)	.	they	haven't	spoken	in	years	,	and	wouldn't	even	be	making	the	long	trip	from	norway	to	aberdeen	,	scotland	by	automobile	if	it	weren't	for	kaisa's	mother	(	charlotte	rampling	,	under	the	sand	)	rotting	away	in	a	hospital	bed	from	cancer	.	in	a	soap	opera	twist	,	mother	has	only	a	few	days	to	live	.	(	only	in	the	movies	,	right	?	)	too	blitzed	to	even	step	foot	on	a	plane	,	tomas	hits	the	open	road	with	kaisa	.	loathing	each	other	all	the	while	,	they	make	periodic	stops	for	tomas	to	puke	on	the	dashboard	or	pass	out	whenever	he	isn't	muttering	what	a	rotten	kid	she	turned	out	to	be	.	despite	his	sloshed	viewpoint	,	tomas	recognizes	that	the	apple	hasn't	fallen	very	far	from	the	tree	.	kaisa	gets	nosebleeds	from	snorting	coke	,	sabotages	her	personal	relationships	through	indifference	,	and	is	unable	to	restrain	her	quick	and	vindictive	temper	.	ain't	they	a	pair	?	unable	to	find	true	notes	of	unspoken	familial	empathy	in	the	one	note	and	repetitively	bitchy	dialogue	,	screenwriters	kristin	amundsen	and	hans	petter	moland	fabricate	a	series	of	contrivances	to	propel	events	forward	lost	money	,	roving	street	hooligans	looking	for	drunks	to	kick	around	,	nosy	cops	,	and	flat	tires	all	figure	into	the	schematic	and	convenient	narrative	.	by	the	time	they	reach	the	hospital	,	it's	time	to	unveil	the	secrets	from	a	dark	past	that	are	not	only	simplistic	devices	that	trivialize	the	father	daughter	conflict	,	they're	also	the	mainstays	of	many	a	bad	strindberg	wannabe	.	this	revelation	exists	purely	for	its	own	sake	.	aberdeen	doesn't	know	where	else	to	go	.	weak	,	unimaginative	casting	thwarts	the	pivotal	role	of	kaisa	.	if	lena	headey	were	a	stronger	actress	,	perhaps	aberdeen	could	have	been	able	to	coast	on	the	performances	and	moody	,	haunting	cinematography	(	rendering	norway	into	its	own	pastoral	ghost	world	the	reference	to	a	certain	superior	american	indie	flick	intentional	)	.	headey's	too	busy	acting	,	using	her	face	and	furrowed	brow	to	convey	every	last	twitch	of	insouciance	.	if	she	were	paying	any	attention	to	skarsgrd	,	maybe	she'd	figure	out	that	doing	less	can	reveal	so	much	more	.	it's	worthwhile	to	compare	aberdeen	to	an	earlier	film	released	in	2001	,	jonathan	nossiter's	captivating	signs	wonders	.	it's	not	just	because	skarsgrd	and	rampling	played	disturbed	parental	figures	in	both	films	(	they're	not	bound	by	ceremonial	wedlock	in	aberdeen	)	.	the	differences	in	the	way	their	characters	were	presented	is	significant	.	in	aberdeen	,	rampling	is	a	luminous	diva	,	preening	and	static	in	her	hospital	bed	.	despite	skarsgrd's	solid	performance	as	tomas	,	his	pathetic	drunk	is	never	given	much	of	a	chance	to	emote	anything	besides	catatonic	sorrow	.	there's	genuine	ferocity	and	sexually	charged	frisson	during	their	understated	confrontations	in	signs	wonders	,	allowing	them	to	suggest	a	gray	zone	of	complications	that	accompany	torn	romance	and	years	of	stifled	curiosity	.	nossiter's	film	thoroughly	explores	this	neurotic	territory	in	addition	to	delving	into	the	americanization	of	greece	and	the	use	of	mysticism	as	an	illusion	to	deflect	pain	.	if	signs	wonders	sometimes	feels	overloaded	with	ideas	,	at	least	it's	willing	to	stretch	beyond	what	we've	come	to	expect	from	traditional	drama	.	aberdeen	is	never	half	so	ambitious	,	content	to	sleepwalk	through	the	rhythms	and	timing	of	other	movies	.	when	did	character	driven	stories	stop	paying	attention	to	the	complexities	of	real	life	?	the	depressing	answer	can	be	found	in	lawrence	kasdan's	trite	but	occasionally	useful	grand	canyon	,	where	steve	martin's	hollywood	mogul	pronounces	,	"	all	of	life's	riddles	are	answered	in	the	movies	!	"	even	foreign	films	are	taking	that	advice	to	heart	.
neg	directed	by	paul	verhoeven	.	screenplay	by	andrew	w	marlowe	from	a	story	by	gary	scott	thompson	and	marlowe	.	starring	kevin	bacon	,	elisabeth	shue	,	josh	brolin	.	running	time	:	112	minutes	.	rated	r	for	extreme	violence	and	offensive	language	throughout	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	august	7th	,	2000	.	what	would	you	do	if	you	could	turn	invisible	?	the	possibilities	are	virtually	limitless	.	there	are	the	cheap	,	visceral	thrills	,	such	as	sneaking	into	changing	rooms	and	dormitories	.	there	are	more	noble	pursuits	,	like	acting	as	a	genuine	force	for	good	in	your	community	.	perhaps	you	could	offer	your	services	to	the	government	as	a	crack	espionage	agent	.	well	,	if	the	makers	of	"	hollow	man	"	are	to	believed	,	you'd	probably	take	a	page	from	any	generic	slasher	movie	of	the	past	twenty	five	years	and	start	hunting	down	your	friends	in	gory	,	if	not	particularly	imaginative	,	ways	.	uh	huh	.	inspired	by	,	though	not	really	similar	to	,	hg	wells'	novel	"	the	invisible	man	"	,	"	hollow	man	"	is	about	a	team	of	scientists	trying	to	create	an	invisibility	formula	(	here	it's	described	as	"	going	out	of	quantum	synch	"	with	the	universe	,	but	of	course	that's	just	the	technobabble	explanation	)	.	the	project	head	is	dr	sebastian	caine	(	kevin	bacon	)	,	an	arrogant	genius	with	more	than	a	slight	streak	of	megalomania	.	his	assistants	include	ex	girlfriend	linda	(	elisabeth	shue	)	and	matt	(	josh	brolin	)	,	who	are	sleeping	together	behind	sebastian's	back	.	in	fact	,	the	team	has	already	figured	out	how	to	make	people	become	invisible	the	problem	lies	in	trying	to	reverse	the	effects	.	in	a	flash	of	inspiration	one	night	,	sebastian	thinks	he	figures	it	out	,	and	indeed	their	test	gorilla	isabelle	is	successfully	made	visible	again	.	without	informing	his	superiors	,	sebastian	decides	to	proceed	to	the	next	stage	of	the	experiment	and	test	both	serums	on	a	human	subject	:	himself	.	but	although	he	becomes	invisible	without	undue	difficulty	,	the	antidote	proves	to	be	useless	on	humans	,	and	sebastian	is	trapped	in	his	phantomlike	state	.	soon	,	the	tantalising	possibilities	invisibility	offers	become	too	much	for	sebastian	,	and	he	begins	to	succumb	to	his	base	desires	.	"	hollow	man	"	falls	short	in	all	moviemaking	fundamentals	:	plot	,	characterisation	,	atmosphere	.	even	paul	verhoeven's	directorial	flair	,	striking	in	"	total	recall	"	ten	years	ago	,	is	absent	here	,	as	the	director	continues	the	downward	spiral	most	recently	evident	in	the	tedious	"	starship	troopers	"	.	i	find	it	appalling	that	a	movie	can	take	such	a	great	,	multifaceted	concept	invisibility	and	hogtie	itself	to	a	standard	old	slasher	storyline	.	and	"	hollow	man	"	isn't	even	a	particularly	good	slasher	film	,	because	we're	not	so	much	as	afforded	an	interesting	death	sequence	.	sebastian's	murderous	rampage	,	when	it	finally	comes	,	is	without	tension	,	excitement	,	or	invention	.	it's	just	an	invisible	guy	killing	people	,	as	if	that	single	gimmick	would	somehow	enliven	the	entire	film	.	there's	no	effort	to	create	any	suspense	,	or	to	really	shock	the	viewer	;	it	just	feels	like	the	filmmakers	are	going	through	the	motions	,	and	rather	feebly	at	that	.	personally	,	i'm	more	interested	in	special	effects	where	i	can	see	something	,	rather	than	those	where	i	can't	.	sure	,	a	good	job	is	done	to	achieve	the	appearance	(	as	it	were	)	of	invisibility	,	and	i'm	sure	it	took	a	lot	of	hard	work	,	but	the	gosh	wow	factor	is	exhausted	pretty	quickly	.	the	same	goes	for	the	scenes	where	sebastian	suddenly	becomes	semi	visible	,	when	he	is	immersed	in	water	or	smoke	or	whatever	.	the	first	such	sequence	is	appealing	;	the	concept	gets	tired	soon	thereafter	.	indeed	,	the	only	effects	which	really	left	an	impression	on	me	were	the	scenes	where	the	invisibility	formula	and	its	antidote	are	employed	first	on	a	gorilla	,	then	on	sebastian	.	instead	of	taking	effect	all	at	once	,	the	serums	work	layer	by	layer	,	giving	us	a	view	of	the	inner	workings	of	the	bodies	like	an	anatomy	textbook	brought	to	life	.	beyond	this	,	there	is	little	to	recommend	"	hollow	man	"	.	kevin	bacon	does	a	reasonable	job	in	a	role	in	which	his	voicework	is	paramount	.	but	sebastian	caine	is	a	desperately	uninteresting	character	.	we	are	robbed	of	the	chance	to	investigate	whether	or	not	it	is	invisibility	which	has	affected	his	mind	,	because	he's	clearly	on	the	edge	even	before	the	experiment	.	a	far	more	interesting	approach	to	have	taken	would	have	been	to	give	us	a	less	unscrupulous	character	and	really	delve	into	the	temptations	he	experiences	.	sebastian	is	already	such	a	bastard	that	his	swift	decision	to	abandon	his	already	loose	morals	comes	as	little	surprise	.	i	realise	that	"	hollow	man	"	is	,	first	and	foremost	,	a	thriller	,	and	i	am	not	suggesting	that	it	should	have	been	bogged	down	in	ethical	posturing	.	but	i	think	a	more	clever	movie	could	have	balanced	its	protagonist's	inner	turmoil	with	the	requisite	action	scenes	.	to	make	matters	worse	,	the	screenplay	by	andrew	w	marlowe	(	from	a	story	co	conceived	with	gary	scott	thompson	)	doesn't	even	come	up	with	interesting	things	for	the	invisible	sebastian	to	do	.	indeed	,	of	all	the	scenes	involving	sebastian's	abuse	of	his	power	,	the	only	one	that's	at	all	intriguing	is	the	very	first	one	,	where	he	molests	a	co	worker	(	kim	dickens	)	,	with	her	being	only	barely	aware	of	it	.	there	is	a	definite	eroticism	to	this	scene	,	not	the	least	because	of	the	conflict	previously	established	between	the	two	characters	.	but	it's	all	downhill	from	there	we	subsequently	get	another	excuse	for	partial	nudity	,	and	then	it's	slasher	time	.	that	such	a	fantastic	premise	is	so	thoroughly	wasted	is	the	surest	sign	of	the	sheer	creative	bankruptcy	of	the	movie	.	amongst	the	supporting	cast	,	shue	and	brolin	try	gamely	to	play	the	heroes	,	but	neither	of	their	characters	have	much	personality	to	speak	of	.	the	film's	engagement	in	a	bit	of	role	reversal	,	casting	shue	as	the	more	proactive	of	the	pair	,	is	but	a	minor	triumph	.	most	of	the	other	characters	are	simply	there	to	act	as	cannon	fodder	,	although	dickens	and	joey	slotnick	make	the	most	of	their	small	roles	.	no	fair	guessing	who	survives	and	who	doesn't	,	though	.	in	order	to	surprised	on	that	point	,	there	would	have	to	be	some	imagination	behind	the	movie	.	on	the	set	of	"	hollow	man	"	,	it	seems	that	bodies	weren't	the	only	things	made	to	vanish	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	hollowman	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	hollowman	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
neg	in	the	series	of	the	erotic	thrillers	that	flooded	the	videoshelves	in	the	early	1990s	came	this	french	canadian	co	production	by	max	fischer	.	the	movie	is	set	in	paris	where	its	hero	,	struggling	american	author	david	mirkine	(	judd	nelson	,	at	the	time	specialised	in	playing	losers	and	people	at	the	edge	of	sanity	)	suffers	a	terrible	writers	bloc	.	he	manages	to	overcome	crisis	after	beginning	romantic	relationship	with	beautiful	model	anabelle	(	laurence	treill	)	.	unfortunately	,	she	hangs	out	in	jet	set	circles	,	which	gradually	makes	mirkine	pathologically	jealous	.	her	connection	with	powerful	david	caravan	(	pierce	brosnan	)	would	make	mirkine	step	the	line	between	reason	and	sanity	and	put	in	motion	whole	series	of	violent	and	tragic	events	.	although	few	pseudoerotic	scenes	and	some	elements	of	the	plot	do	indeed	make	this	film	an	erotic	thriller	,	drama	would	probably	be	more	appropriate	genre	label	.	pacing	of	the	film	is	simply	too	slow	to	thrill	the	viewers	,	and	those	patient	enough	to	sit	through	its	entirety	have	to	wait	a	long	time	between	any	interesting	or	significant	developments	.	low	budget	also	becomes	painfully	visible	,	and	physical	attributes	of	laurence	treill	are	the	only	thing	worth	watching	in	this	film	.	unfortunately	,	this	film	has	too	little	of	those	supposedly	erotic	scenes	,	so	those	who	wanted	to	watch	erotic	thriller	have	all	the	reasons	to	feel	disappointed	.	instead	,	they	would	have	to	settle	with	pointless	,	slow	scenes	involving	nelson	,	brosnan	and	laurence	treill's	attempts	of	serious	acting	.	all	of	those	definitely	not	worth	spending	hour	and	half	of	someone's	precious	time	.
neg	i	missed	a	1	oclock	for	stir	of	echoes	by	six	minutes	and	,	not	being	one	to	miss	a	second	of	the	movie	going	experience	im	talking	lights	dimming	,	previews	,	even	that	thx	thing	with	the	cows	(	mi	psycho	,	or	what	)	i	caught	a	1	:	15	of	this	film	,	instead	.	mistake	.	produced	with	an	mtv	eye	,	stigmata	is	all	photography	direction	.	the	story	,	next	to	impossible	to	concentrate	on	one	second	to	the	next	because	the	films	visual	style	is	so	abrasive	,	follows	atheist	hairdresser	frankie	page	(	patricia	arquette	)	as	she	becomes	afflicted	with	the	titular	phenomena	.	meaning	,	wounds	of	christ	;	receive	five	,	and	you	die	.	so	,	the	film	is	more	or	less	a	countdown	to	her	death	.	well	.	.	why	is	this	happening	?	as	a	form	of	extreme	punishment	on	a	non	believer	,	or	a	method	of	_	making	_	them	believe	?	dunno	.	either	way	,	thats	not	entertaining	,	its	depressing	.	we	get	loving	shots	of	large	nails	being	hammered	into	feet	and	hands	,	over	and	over	again	;	divine	imagery	,	right	?	if	it	isnt	arquette	getting	slashed	or	impaled	,	its	blood	dripping	into	water	,	water	dripping	into	water	(	frankies	apartment	has	a	convenient	leak	)	,	or	rain	everything	in	annoying	close	up	.	tip	:	try	to	make	everything	look	cool	(	microwaves	,	candles	,	coffee	cups	,	more	candles	.	.	did	i	mention	water	)	,	and	nothing	does	.	as	for	the	gore	,	i	wonder	how	a	movie	like	this	one	skirts	the	nc	17	rating	.	one	scene	,	featuring	an	open	wound	on	arquettes	wrist	that	gushes	blood	so	profusely	for	,	like	,	five	seconds	,	or	thereabouts	,	made	me	nauseous	.	that	,	plus	images	of	carnage	scattered	throughout	at	what	seemed	like	two	minute	intervals	;	wheres	the	line	?	a	minutes	worth	of	sex	in	greater	cinema	like	eyes	wide	shut	is	too	obscene	for	mass	audiences	,	but	100	minutes	of	bloodshed	here	isnt	?	oy	.	.	.	the	hypocrisy	continues	.	if	anything	,	i	enjoyed	gabriel	byrnes	performance	as	the	priest	scientist	whatever	the	hell	hes	supposed	to	be	.	hes	got	a	couple	reaction	takes	,	off	the	possessed	frankie	,	that	felt	natural	.	of	course	,	then	they	get	all	doe	eyed	toward	one	another	,	and	flirty	,	and	talk	about	how	he	misses	sex	,	and	drink	beer	:	how	is	there	time	for	this	?	hes	supposed	to	be	a	man	of	the	cloth	,	what	would	she	see	in	a	nevermind	.
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	uip	on	january	21	,	2000	;	certificate	18	;	102	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	rupert	wainwright	;	produced	by	frank	mancuso	jr	.	written	by	tom	lazarus	,	rick	ramage	.	photographed	by	jeffrey	l	kimball	;	edited	by	michael	j	duthie	,	michael	r	miller	.	"	stigmata	"	starts	as	a	badly	made	film	,	proceeds	as	a	muddled	one	and	ends	up	as	psychotic	.	the	final	moments	of	this	movie	attack	the	roman	catholic	church	in	the	manner	of	a	deranged	ex	girlfriend	wasting	our	time	,	solemnly	declaring	ridiculous	accusations	,	making	a	lot	of	noise	but	no	sense	.	the	first	act	introduces	us	to	frankie	paige	(	patricia	arquette	)	,	an	attractive	pittsburgh	hairdresser	who	exists	in	one	of	those	fairytale	movie	worlds	where	,	at	work	,	she	walks	in	to	find	everyone	greeting	her	like	she's	just	come	back	from	holiday	,	and	,	at	night	,	she	always	gets	to	her	favourite	night	club	to	find	her	friends	already	waiting	there	.	there	are	lots	of	lingering	close	ups	of	her	drinks	and	cigarettes	;	look	,	kids	,	she's	naughty	.	.	.	this	is	what	big	grown	up	people	call	a	'wanton	lifestyle'	!	meanwhile	a	priest	played	by	gabriel	byrne	,	father	andrew	kiernan	,	is	travelling	around	the	world	investigating	reports	of	miracles	.	he's	an	objective	,	scientific	fellow	,	we	learn	,	who	would	never	be	taken	in	by	a	hoax	.	but	when	he	assesses	a	statue	of	the	virgin	mary	that	cries	blood	,	and	comes	to	the	conclusion	that	the	relic	is	genuine	,	the	cardinals	at	the	vatican	don't	pay	it	any	mind	.	instead	,	they	just	send	him	on	another	assignment	,	this	time	to	examine	frankie	.	she	has	been	seen	reacting	to	hallucinations	and	displaying	signs	of	stigmata	,	a	phenomenon	whereby	christians	with	strong	faith	and	empathy	with	jesus	will	break	out	in	the	wounds	their	saviour	suffered	on	the	cross	.	but	frankie	is	an	atheist	,	and	the	pointless	middle	of	"	stigmata	"	,	which	is	a	battle	to	stay	awake	through	,	mentions	this	discrepancy	a	lot	without	actually	explaining	it	.	instead	,	every	"	how	could	this	happen	to	me	?	"	moment	is	interrupted	by	jarring	music	chords	and	fits	of	screaming	,	as	frankie	freaks	out	like	linda	blair	in	"	the	exorcist	"	.	is	she	possessed	by	something	evil	,	as	blair's	character	was	?	i'm	still	not	sure	.	if	i	followed	the	movie	correctly	,	the	soul	of	a	dead	catholic	priest	has	invaded	her	by	storing	his	soul	in	magic	rosary	beads	,	to	use	her	as	a	messenger	and	announce	his	discovery	of	christ's	own	version	of	the	gospel	.	the	stigmata	is	a	side	effect	of	all	the	holy	phenomena	floating	around	,	and	this	joyful	miracle	only	seems	like	an	attack	by	a	demonic	force	because	the	priest	is	so	darn	angry	at	the	state	of	the	vatican	.	this	is	ridiculous	,	but	gets	even	more	farfetched	,	when	the	film	explicitly	accuses	catholicism	of	being	a	conspiracy	against	god	.	just	before	the	end	credits	,	factoids	and	statistics	appear	onscreen	to	tell	us	how	many	reports	of	miracles	the	vatican	have	dismissed	as	fake	.	that	the	director	,	rupert	wainwright	,	could	think	this	is	serious	evidence	of	corruption	suggests	he's	the	kind	of	guy	who	would	look	at	the	circus	antics	of	a	kooky	talk	show	like	"	jerry	springer	"	and	declare	them	to	contain	compelling	social	expos	.	even	his	visual	style	gets	on	my	nerves	from	the	outset	he	keeps	switching	between	grainy	documentary	realism	and	saturated	slow	motion	montages	of	bad	dance	music	,	which	play	like	demented	coca	cola	commercials	.	watching	gabriel	byrne	in	this	movie	,	i	pondered	the	possibility	that	he	enjoys	deliberately	appearing	in	bad	religious	pictures	.	only	a	few	weeks	ago	he	played	satan	in	"	end	of	days	"	,	which	,	like	"	stigmata	"	,	used	half	baked	knowledge	about	catholicism	as	an	excuse	for	a	lot	of	ugly	gore	and	noise	.	byrne	is	a	good	actor	;	if	you	ever	pass	by	a	film	set	and	see	him	,	try	to	get	his	autograph	.	if	you	see	a	crucifix	anywhere	nearby	,	though	,	ask	him	the	title	of	the	movie	he's	working	on	and	tell	all	your	friends	to	avoid	it	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantganiplease	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	to	watch	a	steven	seagal	film	,	one	must	fully	suspend	all	disbelief	.	and	to	fully	enjoy	the	audacity	of	seagal	,	one	must	ignore	all	of	the	consequences	associated	with	the	following	:	starting	fistfights	with	large	men	in	flashy	nightclubs	,	destroying	everything	in	sight	along	the	way	.	surviving	every	semi	automatic	gun	battle	and	car	crash	without	a	scratch	.	purchasing	italian	racing	cars	with	bundles	of	100	bills	stuffed	in	a	gym	bag	.	actually	being	able	to	cash	out	stock	options	from	a	dot	com	and	then	creating	a	private	surveillance	unit	devoted	to	uncovering	a	ring	of	corrupt	detroit	cops	involved	in	smuggling	heroin	inside	of	sweatshop	produced	t	shirts	.	ok	.	.	.	maybe	that	corrupt	cops	thing	is	a	bit	hard	to	swallow	.	i	remember	a	time	when	i	used	to	enjoy	seagal	.	such	films	as	above	the	law	,	hard	to	kill	,	marked	for	death	,	under	siege	,	and	out	for	justice	are	all	solid	action	films	from	the	'90s	.	under	siege	is	even	kind	of	good	.	but	lately	,	films	like	under	siege	2	,	fire	down	below	,	and	the	patriot	have	shown	the	age	of	the	italian	stallion	of	aikido	.	now	,	exit	wounds	stands	as	seagal's	biggest	failure	,	a	pitiful	reminder	of	the	death	of	the	american	action	film	.	by	overextending	the	violence	,	the	ludicrousness	,	and	the	sheer	improbability	of	everything	,	exit	wounds	plays	out	like	a	circus	of	the	damned	with	tom	arnold	working	the	tilt	a	whirl	.	(	speaking	of	tom	arnold	,	it's	always	a	bad	sign	when	his	thespian	attempts	at	comedy	are	the	most	memorable	parts	of	a	film	.	)	exit	wounds	is	bad	really	,	really	bad	.	should	you	care	about	the	plot	,	the	mighty	steven	plays	orin	boyd	,	a	burned	out	cop	without	his	trademark	pony	nub	who	gets	reassigned	to	a	tough	detroit	precinct	after	saving	the	vice	president's	life	during	a	michigan	militia	terrorist	act	.	apparently	,	this	particular	precinct	is	filled	with	police	officers	who	use	the	gym	way	too	much	,	use	stun	guns	in	strange	naked	homoerotic	bonding	moments	,	and	routinely	steal	heroin	from	police	labs	to	fund	those	out	of	state	fishing	trips	so	popular	among	detroit	city	cops	.	then	there's	dmx	,	the	hardcore	rapper	turned	actor	who	does	a	better	job	in	his	music	videos	than	in	this	role	as	a	stereotypical	drug	dealer	club	owner	martial	arts	master	dot	com	entrepreneur	.	seagal	and	dmx	team	up	to	stop	the	corrupt	cop	ring	,	run	by	michael	jai	white	(	spawn	)	.	the	gratuitous	violence	of	exit	wounds	would	have	made	peckinpah	cringe	and	reach	for	the	stop	button	on	the	remote	.	in	earlier	seagal	films	,	you	got	brief	moments	of	violence	that	made	the	films	memorable	and	not	so	gory	.	exit	wounds	overflows	with	carnage	people	being	bloodied	by	fists	wrapped	in	chains	,	body	parts	being	impaled	on	exposed	bolts	and	pipes	,	people	being	crushed	by	oncoming	cars	and	buses	.	and	every	single	car	involved	in	a	chase	sequence	erupts	in	flames	,	of	course	.	the	biggest	shame	of	the	film	is	the	misuse	of	seagal	.	instead	of	having	seagal	demonstrate	the	prowess	and	speed	of	a	7th	dan	of	aikido	,	shown	off	so	well	in	his	earlier	films	,	he	ends	up	being	nothing	more	than	a	patsy	,	used	to	connect	the	dots	of	all	the	inane	plot	points	in	what	stands	as	a	truly	rotten	film	.
neg	directed	by	ivan	reitman	.	screenplay	by	david	diamond	,	david	weissman	and	don	jakoby	,	based	on	a	story	by	jakoby	.	starring	david	duchovny	,	orlando	jones	,	julianne	moore	.	running	time	:	104	minutes	.	rated	pg	for	frightening	scenes	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	august	27th	,	2001	.	synopsis	:	when	a	meteorite	crashlands	in	the	arizona	desert	,	community	college	professors	ira	kane	(	duchovny	)	and	harry	block	(	jones	)	are	first	on	the	scene	.	they	discover	that	an	alien	lifeform	has	arisen	from	the	rock	and	is	evolving	at	an	amazing	rate	.	soon	the	army	,	advised	by	dr	allison	reed	(	moore	)	,	moves	in	and	forces	kane	and	block	out	.	but	when	the	aliens	begin	to	menace	society	,	it	may	take	the	scientists'	combined	efforts	to	stop	them	before	they	terminate	the	evolution	of	another	lifeform	:	humanity	.	review	:	"	evolution	"	certainly	has	the	ingredients	for	a	decent	comedy	.	it's	directed	by	reitman	,	clearly	trying	to	parlay	his	"	ghostbusters	"	success	into	a	twenty	first	century	counterpart	.	it	stars	duchovny	,	and	although	one	might	question	his	judgment	in	lampooning	his	"	x	files	"	character	so	soon	after	leaving	the	tv	series	,	it	should	certainly	provide	him	with	plenty	of	ammunition	.	and	then	there's	moore	,	who	may	not	have	much	prior	experience	in	comedy	,	but	who	has	certainly	proven	her	ability	as	an	actress	.	a	shame	,	then	,	that	it	all	deteriorates	into	such	a	hopelessly	unfunny	morass	.	"	evolution	"	is	a	movie	more	concerned	with	its	special	effects	(	which	are	quite	good	)	than	anything	resembling	a	consistently	funny	script	.	it	has	its	moments	(	a	scene	in	which	jones'	body	is	invaded	by	an	alien	is	particularly	entertaining	)	,	but	there	are	embarrassingly	long	stretches	that	are	utterly	devoid	of	humour	.	moore	is	totally	wasted	,	her	clumsy	shtick	getting	very	old	,	very	fast	.	duchovny	has	stunningly	little	in	the	way	of	material	to	work	with	.	and	the	story	is	so	formulaic	,	it	could	have	been	written	by	monkeys	.	part	of	what	made	"	ghostbusters	"	so	wonderful	was	a	combination	of	a	great	script	and	characters	the	audience	could	root	for	.	"	evolution	"	is	so	mind	numbingly	tedious	that	it's	difficult	not	to	start	cheering	for	the	aliens	.	copyright	2001	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	a	shannon	patrick	sullivan	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	go	.	to	drwho	history	__	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	but	some	of	us	are	looking	at	the	stars	__
neg	directed	by	chuck	russell	;	produced	by	mace	neufeld	.	written	by	clifford	green	,	ellen	green	,	tom	rickman	;	based	on	the	novel	by	cathy	cash	spellman	.	photographed	by	peter	menzies	jr	;	edited	by	alan	heim	.	after	winning	an	oscar	for	"	l	.	a	.	confidential	"	,	kim	basinger	had	a	baby	and	took	a	rest	from	movies	for	three	years	.	this	is	not	a	great	way	to	return	.	"	bless	the	child	"	is	yet	another	shoddy	and	uninteresting	movie	about	dark	forces	throw	it	onto	the	pile	with	"	stigmata	"	and	"	book	of	shadows	:	blair	witch	2	"	.	basinger	stars	as	maggie	o'connor	,	a	psychiatric	nurse	left	to	raise	her	young	niece	cody	(	holliston	coleman	)	when	her	heroin	addicted	sister	jenna	(	angela	bettis	)	skips	town	.	the	child	is	quiet	and	withdrawn	autistic	,	everyone	assumes	,	until	she's	kidnapped	by	a	gang	of	satan	worshipping	child	killers	who	have	discovered	she's	the	second	coming	,	and	want	to	use	her	power	for	evil	.	the	first	half	of	the	movie	involves	basinger's	raising	of	the	child	;	it's	dumb	in	its	hammy	dialogue	and	cliched	,	obvious	scenes	of	creepy	noises	coming	from	nowhere	clear	,	but	so	familiar	it's	somewhat	involving	,	and	contains	the	potential	to	turn	into	good	pulp	fiction	.	structural	elements	are	stolen	from	"	the	exorcist	"	,	and	hey	,	if	you're	gonna	steal	,	steal	from	the	best	.	ah	,	but	it	turns	to	vinegar	.	it's	annoying	stupid	,	not	fun	stupid	.	there	are	a	parade	of	vulgar	scenes	depicting	the	kid's	greatness	,	showing	her	bring	birds	back	to	life	and	light	candles	through	telekinesis	,	during	which	i	thought	,	shouldn't	the	child	of	god	be	a	wise	and	kind	hearted	revolutionary	,	rather	than	a	smug	little	kid	pulling	houdini	tricks	?	several	moments	defy	common	sense	,	such	as	one	in	which	a	cult	defector	sits	in	a	cafe	giving	basinger	information	,	and	in	run	a	bunch	of	satanists	who	give	the	defector	chase	and	don't	think	to	touch	basinger	at	all	.	the	movie	wants	us	to	take	it	seriously	,	and	yet	there	are	sneering	villains	,	guns	waved	around	,	and	cars	dangling	off	bridges	.	it's	funny	at	times	how	could	it	not	be	when	one	of	the	baddies	is	a	ludicrously	stone	faced	mrs	.	danvers	clone	,	the	climax	takes	place	in	a	cobweb	filled	haunted	house	,	and	at	one	point	knitting	needles	are	used	as	murder	weapons	?	at	other	times	it's	just	sick	you	can't	laugh	too	hard	when	you're	watching	devil	worshippers	burning	homeless	people	to	death	and	committing	ritual	infanticide	.	one	other	thing	the	special	effects	are	terrible	.	they	look	like	pieces	of	cartoon	superimposed	over	live	action	.	five	years	ago	movie	visuals	were	so	perfect	that	mentioning	them	in	reviews	seemed	redundant	.	nowadays	they	almost	always	suck	.	a	sign	,	perhaps	,	that	the	digital	revolution	ain't	all	it's	cracked	up	to	be	?	copyright	2001	ian	waldron	mantganithe	uk	critic	is	located	at	www	.	ukcritic	.	com
neg	capsule	:	repugnant	,	overlong	anime	that	makes	it	clear	how	the	genre	sometimes	gets	its	bad	name	.	anime	,	like	any	other	genre	or	group	,	gets	an	undeservedly	bad	reputation	from	its	worst	members	.	aside	from	the	wretched	and	overrated	overfiend	,	there's	other	culprits	:	the	insanely	dull	odin	,	for	one	.	and	angel	cop	,	which	is	just	plain	vile	.	what	can	you	say	about	a	story	where	the	title	cards	are	spelled	out	in	splattered	blood	to	the	sound	of	machine	gun	fire	,	and	then	goes	downhill	from	there	?	angel	cop	is	like	a	bad	version	of	sylvester	stallone's	cobra	fused	with	a	really	low	rent	rip	off	of	the	first	power	and	some	robocop	thrown	in	for	good	measure	which	is	really	saying	something	,	since	first	power	and	cobra	were	wretched	to	begin	with	.	any	association	with	robocop	is	a	slur	on	that	fine	movie	.	the	whole	thing	clocks	in	at	slightly	under	two	and	a	half	hours	edited	together	from	five	half	hour	pieces	,	but	while	they	were	doing	that	,	they	could	certainly	have	brought	the	story	down	to	a	less	painful	length	.	the	plot	:	an	avowedly	communist	cell	named	the	red	may	are	trying	to	destabilize	japan	through	acts	of	terrorism	.	to	combat	this	threat	,	the	police	have	created	a	black	bag	ops	group	who	work	above	the	law	.	(	yes	,	i'm	quoting	pretty	much	word	for	word	.	)	their	leader's	so	macho	he	doesn't	bother	wearing	a	shirt	,	but	this	has	to	be	the	first	anime	where	i've	seen	a	normal	guy	who	looked	like	he	had	more	scar	tissue	than	healthy	flesh	.	oh	,	i'm	sorry	that's	chest	hair	,	combined	with	particularly	bad	character	animation	.	he	is	assigned	a	new	partner	,	a	female	cop	named	angel	who's	probably	even	more	violent	and	undisciplined	than	he	is	.	in	a	scene	where	the	partner's	got	a	gun	to	her	head	,	she	blows	away	one	of	the	other	terrorists	in	the	room	,	splattering	brains	and	bone	all	over	the	wall	.	in	detail	.	part	of	the	story	ostensibly	concerns	how	angel	goes	from	an	unfeeling	bitch	to	someone	with	a	bit	more	heart	,	but	the	way	angel	cop	plays	that	point	off	is	by	giving	her	the	nerve	to	ultimately	blow	her	partner's	brains	out	(	and	all	over	their	enemy	)	.	oh	.	angel	is	,	as	are	the	rest	of	the	characters	,	mostly	nonentities	who	do	what	the	plot	and	the	screenplay	tell	them	to	do	which	is	shoot	people	,	blow	things	up	,	fall	out	of	windows	,	and	karate	chop	people	to	death	.	their	enemies	are	not	much	better	,	although	they	get	a	few	allies	who	are	marginally	interesting	(	before	they	get	killed	rather	unceremoniously	)	.	i	wish	there	was	more	to	leave	out	,	but	i'll	sum	by	saying	angel	cop	is	a	good	way	not	to	introduce	someone	to	anime	.
neg	in	dreams	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	dreamworks	skg	1	:	40	1999	r	(	violence	,	language	)	cast	:	annette	bening	;	aidan	quinn	;	stephen	rea	;	robert	downey	jr	.	;	paul	guilfoyle	director	:	neil	jordan	screenplay	:	bruce	robinson	;	neil	jordan	hr	"	in	dreams	"	might	keep	you	awake	at	night	,	but	not	because	of	its	creepy	imagery	,	bizarre	visual	style	or	story	about	a	clairvoyant	madman	who	lures	young	girls	to	their	untimely	deaths	.	no	,	the	source	of	potential	sleeplessness	here	lies	within	the	movie's	brutally	squandered	potential	,	the	least	of	which	is	an	admittedly	nifty	premise	even	by	tired	serial	killer	genre	standards	.	the	big	letdown	,	however	,	comes	upon	the	realization	that	this	100	minute	head	scratcher	was	masterminded	by	neil	jordan	,	the	man	behind	"	the	crying	game	.	"	he's	no	stranger	to	cinematic	weirdness	,	but	this	nutty	nonsense	really	pushes	the	envelope	.	things	start	out	strong	enough	,	with	cinematographer	darius	khondji's	stunning	camera	work	guiding	viewers	into	the	bowels	of	a	underwater	ghost	town	during	a	creepy	prologue	that	establishes	a	notably	grim	tone	right	off	the	bat	.	this	eerie	opulence	remains	a	dazzling	display	of	showmanship	throughout	the	entire	film	there's	even	something	macabre	about	the	way	khondji	photographs	a	rustic	,	seemingly	innocent	new	england	autumn	but	if	there	ever	was	a	film	that	didn't	deserve	so	good	a	polish	,	it's	this	one	.	don't	knock	the	look	,	but	say	what	you	will	about	the	foolish	plot	,	underdeveloped	characters	and	flat	dialogue	.	annette	bening	,	another	asset	"	in	dreams	"	shouldn't	be	so	lucky	to	boast	,	gives	an	increasingly	effective	performance	in	a	role	that	doesn't	do	much	for	her	in	return	.	she	plays	claire	cooper	,	a	massachusetts	children's	book	illustrator	who's	plagued	by	terrifying	nightmares	involving	kidnaped	children	.	she	thinks	these	visions	are	a	warning	knell	for	horrible	,	soon	to	be	committed	crimes	,	but	neither	her	ho	hum	husband	(	aidan	quinn	)	nor	the	ho	hummer	police	can	muster	up	the	sense	to	take	her	seriously	.	this	being	a	thriller	,	we	know	that	she	is	,	in	fact	,	on	the	money	,	and	it's	a	credit	to	bening's	acting	that	she	delves	equally	into	claire's	madness	and	compassion	.	but	as	soon	as	a	body	turns	up	and	claire	has	given	the	authorities	reason	enough	to	believe	her	claims	,	"	in	dreams	"	trades	in	its	nifty	supernatural	chills	for	a	long	series	of	allegedly	spooky	jolts	that	simply	refuse	to	make	sense	.	scenes	pile	up	like	a	car	wreck	with	little	or	no	explanation	or	exposition	.	subplots	appear	and	disappear	.	when	claire	finally	comes	face	to	face	with	our	evil	murderer	(	robert	downey	jr	.	)	,	it	turns	out	his	name	is	vivian	,	he's	clairvoyant	and	he's	got	some	major	issues	with	mama	,	a	la	norman	bates	.	"	in	dreams	"	reaches	its	absurdist	zenith	here	,	and	the	climax	drags	with	mumbled	revelations	and	laughable	twists	.	some	questions	,	then	:	what's	with	the	garbage	disposal	retching	applesauce	?	are	the	drawings	on	the	wall	blood	or	paint	?	who	cranked	up	the	andrews	sisters	on	the	cd	player	and	caused	the	swing	to	move	on	its	own	?	what	about	the	computer	?	does	vivian	possess	the	gift	of	telekinesis	in	addition	to	his	other	powers	?	why	would	he	continually	endanger	claire	if	she	was	necessary	for	his	ultimate	plan	?	is	the	woman	in	australia	integral	to	anything	?	and	the	aforementioned	flooded	city	what	function	does	that	_	really	_	serve	?	sigh	.	at	least	in	my	own	dreams	,	i	can	imagine	a	better	movie	where	certain	talent	didn't	go	to	waste	.	hr	1999	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	like	so	many	horror	films	,	this	one	is	set	on	a	national	holiday	the	fourth	of	july	.	christmas	and	graduation	day	are	also	popular	,	although	thanksgiving	now	seems	reserved	for	movies	about	dysfunctional	families	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"
neg	how	could	a	g	rated	disney	film	based	on	meg	cabot's	novel	"	the	princess	diaries	"	be	anything	but	cute	,	harmless	fun	?	easy	.	take	all	the	cute	,	harmless	fun	out	of	it	.	and	while	you're	at	it	make	it	borrr	ring	.	that's	what	director	garry	marshall	,	screenwriter	gina	wendkos	and	,	not	to	be	outdone	,	producer	whitney	houston	have	done	with	the	g	rated	disney	film	"	the	princess	diaries	.	"	you	couldn't	tell	it	from	the	audience	though	,	a	braintree	,	mass	.	of	growing	,	glowing	pre	pubescent	girls	(	and	the	odd	parental	,	popcorn	perched	about	their	persons	)	,	who	positively	cheered	when	the	end	credits	rolled	(	ah	the	film	had	struck	a	lovely	nerve	with	them	but	not	with	fuddy	duddy	old	me	)	.	well	,	i	might	have	cheered	that	the	utter	tripe	was	now	well	and	truly	over	,	but	that	would	have	been	too	obvious	.	too	obvious	is	the	least	of	the	problems	with	marshall's	film	(	garry	made	a	couple	of	other	"	princess	"	movies	"	pretty	woman	"	and	"	runaway	bride	"	but	this	one's	way	without	julia	roberts	so	maybe	that's	its	problem	)	.	in	addition	to	being	predictable	as	molasses	,	"	the	princess	diaries	"	has	hardly	got	a	laugh	in	it	(	it's	a	comedy	)	,	could	bore	the	pants	off	an	abyssinian	for	long	,	long	stretches	,	and	is	so	sloppily	edited	the	principals	refer	to	scenes	we	haven't	even	seen	yet	(	and	probably	never	will	except	,	perhaps	,	in	the	dvd	edition	)	.	marshall	should	take	virtually	all	of	the	blame	here	,	since	he's	been	at	this	for	some	time	and	should	know	when	a	scene	or	two	isn't	working	.	.	.	and	hardly	any	of	"	the	princess	diaries	"	works	(	"	works	,	"	alas	,	implies	cleverness	and	there's	none	of	that	here	either	)	.	newcomer	anne	hathaway	stars	as	mia	thermopolis	,	a	bright	but	socially	invisible	san	franciscan	teen	who	learns	that	her	single	mom	(	a	wacky	artist	played	by	the	likable	caroline	goodall	)	had	a	bit	of	a	fling	with	some	royal	member	of	some	miniscule	european	country	nobody	ever	heard	of	(	the	filmmakers	go	out	of	their	way	not	to	call	it	serbia	,	which	is	pretty	much	what	all	miniscule	european	countries	are	called	in	the	movies	mark	my	words	)	and	now	she	,	mia	,	is	next	in	line	to	rule	"	genovia	"	(	hence	the	headphones	tiara	combo	in	the	print	ads	)	.	julie	andrews	,	with	the	luminous	factor	cranked	to	11	,	plays	mia's	grandmother	(	aka	queen	clarisse	renaldi	)	,	who	shows	up	out	of	the	royal	blue	and	lends	mia	much	advice	and	direction	in	the	eating	,	talking	,	and	looking	like	a	princess	department	(	although	mia's	big	makeover	simply	transforms	her	from	ugly	duckling	to	ugly	swan	)	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	two	teen	couples	go	to	a	church	party	,	drink	and	then	drive	.	they	get	into	an	accident	.	one	of	the	guys	dies	,	but	his	girlfriend	continues	to	see	him	in	her	life	,	and	has	nightmares	.	what's	the	deal	?	watch	the	movie	and	"	sorta	"	find	out	.	.	.	critique	:	a	mind	fuck	movie	for	the	teen	generation	that	touches	on	a	very	cool	idea	,	but	presents	it	in	a	very	bad	package	.	which	is	what	makes	this	review	an	even	harder	one	to	write	,	since	i	generally	applaud	films	which	attempt	to	break	the	mold	,	mess	with	your	head	and	such	(	lost	highway	memento	)	,	but	there	are	good	and	bad	ways	of	making	all	types	of	films	,	and	these	folks	just	didn't	snag	this	one	correctly	.	they	seem	to	have	taken	this	pretty	neat	concept	,	but	executed	it	terribly	.	so	what	are	the	problems	with	the	movie	?	well	,	its	main	problem	is	that	it's	simply	too	jumbled	.	it	starts	off	"	normal	"	but	then	downshifts	into	this	"	fantasy	"	world	in	which	you	,	as	an	audience	member	,	have	no	idea	what's	going	on	.	there	are	dreams	,	there	are	characters	coming	back	from	the	dead	,	there	are	others	who	look	like	the	dead	,	there	are	strange	apparitions	,	there	are	disappearances	,	there	are	a	looooot	of	chase	scenes	,	there	are	tons	of	weird	things	that	happen	,	and	most	of	it	is	simply	not	explained	.	now	i	personally	don't	mind	trying	to	unravel	a	film	every	now	and	then	,	but	when	all	it	does	is	give	me	the	same	clue	over	and	over	again	,	i	get	kind	of	fed	up	after	a	while	,	which	is	this	film's	biggest	problem	.	it's	obviously	got	this	big	secret	to	hide	,	but	it	seems	to	want	to	hide	it	completely	until	its	final	five	minutes	.	and	do	they	make	things	entertaining	,	thrilling	or	even	engaging	,	in	the	meantime	?	not	really	.	the	sad	part	is	that	the	arrow	and	i	both	dig	on	flicks	like	this	,	so	we	actually	figured	most	of	it	out	by	the	half	way	point	,	so	all	of	the	strangeness	after	that	did	start	to	make	a	little	bit	of	sense	,	but	it	still	didn't	the	make	the	film	all	that	more	entertaining	.	i	guess	the	bottom	line	with	movies	like	this	is	that	you	should	always	make	sure	that	the	audience	is	"	into	it	"	even	before	they	are	given	the	secret	password	to	enter	your	world	of	understanding	.	i	mean	,	showing	melissa	sagemiller	running	away	from	visions	for	about	20	minutes	throughout	the	movie	is	just	plain	lazy	!	!	okay	,	we	get	it	.	.	.	there	are	people	chasing	her	and	we	don't	know	who	they	are	.	do	we	really	need	to	see	it	over	and	over	again	?	how	about	giving	us	different	scenes	offering	further	insight	into	all	of	the	strangeness	going	down	in	the	movie	?	apparently	,	the	studio	took	this	film	away	from	its	director	and	chopped	it	up	themselves	,	and	it	shows	.	there	might've	been	a	pretty	decent	teen	mind	fuck	movie	in	here	somewhere	,	but	i	guess	"	the	suits	"	decided	that	turning	it	into	a	music	video	with	little	edge	,	would	make	more	sense	.	the	actors	are	pretty	good	for	the	most	part	,	although	wes	bentley	just	seemed	to	be	playing	the	exact	same	character	that	he	did	in	american	beauty	,	only	in	a	new	neighborhood	.	but	my	biggest	kudos	go	out	to	sagemiller	,	who	holds	her	own	throughout	the	entire	film	,	and	actually	has	you	feeling	her	character's	unraveling	.	overall	,	the	film	doesn't	stick	because	it	doesn't	entertain	,	it's	confusing	,	it	rarely	excites	and	it	feels	pretty	redundant	for	most	of	its	runtime	,	despite	a	pretty	cool	ending	and	explanation	to	all	of	the	craziness	that	came	before	it	.	oh	,	and	by	the	way	,	this	is	not	a	horror	or	teen	slasher	flick	.	.	.	it's	just	packaged	to	look	that	way	because	someone	is	apparently	assuming	that	the	genre	is	still	hot	with	the	kids	.	it	also	wrapped	production	two	years	ago	and	has	been	sitting	on	the	shelves	ever	since	.	whatever	.	.	.	skip	it	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	a	nightmare	of	elm	street	3	(	7	10	)	blair	witch	2	(	7	10	)	the	crow	(	9	10	)	the	crow	:	salvation	(	4	10	)	lost	highway	(	10	10	)	memento	(	10	10	)	the	others	(	9	10	)	stir	of	echoes	(	8	10	)
neg	author	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	chadpolenz	aol	.	com	"	chadpolenz	aol	.	com	a	subject	:	review	:	the	gift	(	2000	)	approved	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	graham	ee	.	washington	.	edu	"	graham	ee	.	washington	.	edu	a	newsgroups	:	rec	.	arts	.	movies	.	reviews	organization	:	none	x	questions	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	graham	jetcity	.	com	"	graham	jetcity	.	com	a	x	submissions	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	graham	ee	.	washington	.	edu	"	graham	ee	.	washington	.	edu	a	followup	to	:	rec	.	arts	.	movies	.	current	films	summary	:	r	.	a	.	m	.	r	.	28093	keywords	:	author	polenz	annie	wilson	(	cate	blanchett	)	,	a	widow	who	struggles	to	raise	her	children	in	a	small	town	in	georgia	is	asked	for	help	by	local	authorities	in	solving	the	case	of	a	missing	woman	.	annie	is	something	of	a	psychic	,	she	has	involuntary	bouts	with	the	supernatural	where	she	can	see	the	past	and	the	future	and	physically	feel	the	actions	happenning	to	her	she	envisions	.	her	"	gift	"	leads	to	the	arrest	of	a	nasty	wife	beater	who	may	or	may	not	have	killed	the	pretty	rich	girl	found	in	the	swamp	on	his	property	.	in	an	ultra	conservative	backwoods	town	will	her	testimony	based	on	her	psychic	visions	hold	up	in	court	?	do	they	even	have	the	right	man	?
neg	director	:	john	boorman	screenplay	:	john	boorman	stars	:	sean	connery	(	zed	)	,	charlotte	rampling	(	consuella	)	,	sara	kestelman	(	may	)	,	sally	anne	newton	(	avalow	)	,	john	alderton	(	friend	)	,	niall	buggy	(	zardoz	arthur	frayn	)	,	bosco	hogan	(	george	saden	)	,	jessica	swift	(	apathetic	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	john	boorman's	"	zardoz	"	is	a	goofy	cinematic	debacle	so	fundamentally	misconceived	and	laughably	executed	that	it	takes	on	a	bizarre	enjoyment	quality	all	its	own	.	not	since	the	rampant	bumblings	of	one	edward	d	.	wood	jr	.	has	a	movie	been	so	silly	and	so	serious	at	the	same	time	.	of	course	,	wood's	career	can	be	explained	by	two	things	:	he	had	no	money	and	he	had	no	talent	.	boorman	,	on	the	other	hand	,	cannot	court	such	excuses	to	explain	"	zardoz	"	(	or	his	follow	up	film	,	the	equally	awful	"	exorcist	ii	:	the	heretic	"	)	.	boorman	obviously	had	a	sizable	budget	,	a	matinee	idol	movie	star	(	sean	connery	)	in	the	lead	role	,	and	although	you	wouldn't	know	it	from	this	film	,	boorman	does	indeed	have	talent	.	this	is	the	man	who	made	the	slick	modern	masterpiece	"	deliverance	"	(	1972	)	,	as	well	as	the	autobiographical	world	war	ii	drama	"	hope	and	glory	"	(	1987	)	,	the	slightly	over	conceived	arthurian	epic	"	excalibur	"	(	1981	)	and	the	father	son	jungle	adventure	"	the	emerald	forest	"	(	1985	)	.	his	films	all	show	that	boorman	is	never	lacking	in	imagination	,	but	sometimes	that	comes	at	the	cost	of	coherence	and	taste	.	if	boorman	is	anything	,	he's	ambitious	,	and	when	he	succeeds	,	it's	in	grand	fashion	.	unfortunately	,	the	bigger	they	are	,	the	harder	they	fall	,	and	when	boorman	falls	,	the	resounding	impact	can	be	heard	for	miles	around	.	"	zardoz	"	is	meant	to	takes	its	place	among	the	grandest	of	mystical	movies	,	an	obsession	of	boorman's	.	his	screenplay	tries	to	elicit	the	same	mythological	connotations	of	the	arthurian	legends	or	even	"	the	wizard	of	oz	,	"	a	book	which	figures	into	the	movie's	plot	.	but	,	despite	all	this	reaching	,	the	resulting	movie	is	more	unintentionally	funny	than	intentionally	enigmatical	or	compelling	.	the	events	take	place	in	the	distant	year	2293	,	but	there	is	little	of	the	typical	futuristic	movie	ness	to	be	found	.	in	fact	,	things	seems	to	have	moved	backwards	,	with	people	riding	horses	,	shooting	old	style	guns	,	and	living	in	large	victorian	mansions	.	it's	more	middle	ages	than	space	age	.	the	world	of	"	zardoz	"	is	divided	into	two	distinct	hemispheres	:	the	outlands	,	where	all	the	poor	,	pathetic	people	live	,	and	the	vortex	,	where	a	select	group	of	wealthy	intellectuals	live	in	comfort	and	everlasting	life	.	these	immortals	never	grow	old	,	they	never	engage	in	sexual	activity	,	they	possess	psychological	powers	,	and	they	live	in	a	sort	of	quasi	utopian	marxist	society	where	everyone	is	equal	,	and	everyone	contributes	equally	to	the	society	.	however	,	if	one	breaks	the	rules	,	that	person	is	punished	by	being	aged	so	many	years	.	if	someone	breaks	the	rules	enough	,	he	or	she	is	aged	to	the	point	of	senility	,	and	imprisoned	to	an	eternal	existence	in	a	geriatric	home	with	others	aged	criminals	.	one	of	the	immortals	,	arthur	frayn	(	niall	buggy	)	,	a	squirmy	man	with	a	mustache	and	goatee	tattooed	on	his	face	,	is	charged	with	keeping	order	in	the	outlands	and	forcing	the	residents	to	farm	so	the	immortals	can	be	fed	.	like	"	the	wizard	of	oz	,	"	he	adopts	a	god	like	status	among	the	people	by	flying	in	to	their	part	of	the	world	in	a	giant	stone	carved	like	a	menacing	head	.	(	this	flying	head	is	one	of	the	movie's	opening	images	,	and	it's	a	dead	giveaway	of	the	lunacy	to	come	.	)	calling	himself	zardoz	,	frayn	gathers	a	bunch	of	outlanders	and	makes	them	into	a	group	called	the	exterminators	,	whose	purpose	is	to	kill	most	of	the	other	outlanders	so	they	can't	procreate	and	take	up	more	resources	.	from	inside	his	giant	,	stone	head	,	zardoz	bellows	seriously	laugh	inducting	statements	like	,	"	the	gun	is	good	.	the	penis	is	evil	.	"	that	line	alone	is	worth	the	movie's	cult	following	.	one	day	,	an	exterminator	named	zed	(	sean	connery	)	,	sneaks	into	zardoz's	flying	stone	,	pushes	frayn	out	,	and	goes	back	to	the	vortex	.	once	there	,	the	immortals	label	him	a	"	brutal	"	and	study	him	like	a	lab	rat	,	taking	great	,	perverse	care	in	exploring	his	sexuality	,	which	is	a	mystery	to	them	.	they	seem	especially	interested	in	his	ability	to	gain	an	erection	,	and	there	is	one	downright	hilarious	sequence	where	a	bunch	of	scantily	clad	female	scientists	show	zed	erotic	footage	on	a	video	screen	in	an	attempt	to	determine	what	gets	him	worked	up	.	i	say	"	hilarious	"	because	that	is	exactly	what	"	zardoz	"	is	.	it	is	obvious	that	boorman	did	not	intend	it	to	be	so	;	he	made	this	film	with	the	straightest	of	faces	,	although	i	have	a	hard	time	believing	that	as	production	moved	forward	,	he	didn't	get	even	the	slightest	inkling	of	how	patently	ridiculous	it	was	becoming	.	just	looking	at	connery	is	enough	to	give	one	the	giggles	he	spends	most	of	the	film	running	around	in	a	red	loin	cloth	that	resembles	a	diaper	,	a	mane	of	hair	braided	halfway	down	his	back	,	a	wyatt	earp	style	handlebar	mustache	,	and	a	pair	of	thigh	high	patent	leather	boots	that	would	look	more	appropriate	on	a	cheap	hollywood	hooker	.	boorman	made	the	film	right	after	the	critical	and	financial	success	of	"	deliverance	,	"	which	is	the	only	reason	i	can	imagine	a	studio	would	green	light	this	effort	.	he	attracted	some	rich	talent	on	both	sides	of	the	camera	,	including	cinematographer	geoffrey	unsworth	(	"	2001	"	)	,	whose	striking	visuals	are	about	the	only	good	thing	in	"	zardoz	"	besides	the	inadvertent	humor	.	sean	connery	had	made	his	last	james	bond	film	in	1971	,	and	perhaps	he	was	looking	for	a	change	in	pace	.	he	got	exactly	that	in	"	zardoz	,	"	and	it's	a	wonder	it	didn't	end	his	career	.	i'm	sure	boorman	intended	for	this	movie	to	make	some	grand	statements	.	is	it	a	treatise	about	the	infallibility	of	eternal	life	?	is	it	a	condemnation	of	those	who	consider	growing	old	to	be	a	bad	thing	?	or	is	it	a	social	statement	,	something	about	the	inherent	negativity	of	class	distinctions	and	the	violence	it	creates	?	karl	marx	might	like	it	if	he	were	more	like	timothy	leary	.	come	to	think	of	it	,	maybe	boorman	made	it	as	an	extended	lsd	trip	.	people	high	on	illicit	substances	are	the	only	ones	i	can	imagine	enjoying	this	asinine	silliness	as	anything	more	than	a	completely	unintentional	comedy	.
neg	written	and	directed	by	guy	ferland	based	on	a	short	story	by	robert	coover	starring	alicia	silverstone	,	jeremy	london	,	j	.	t	.	walsh	rated	r	(	contains	violence	,	profanity	,	and	brief	nudity	)	90	minutes	synopsis	:	a	small	town	thug	convinces	a	dimwitted	high	school	student	to	spy	on	his	girlfriend	,	who	is	babysitting	three	unruly	kids	for	their	alcoholic	parents	on	a	friday	night	.	while	this	is	going	on	,	the	thug	,	the	father	,	the	boyfriend	,	and	a	kid	reaching	the	onset	of	puberty	all	have	fantasies	about	the	babysitter	.	comments	:	to	say	this	movie	is	bad	would	be	quite	an	understatement	.	i'm	not	sure	what	writer	and	director	ferland	was	hoping	to	accomplish	with	the	babysitter	.	suspense	?	family	drama	?	humor	?	erotica	?	elements	of	each	of	these	genres	exist	in	the	film	,	yet	it	fails	to	successfully	achieve	any	of	them	.	instead	,	the	babysitter	is	a	dull	,	lifeless	movie	which	manages	to	bore	and	ultimately	irritate	its	viewers	.	i	suppose	this	film	could	have	been	watchable	if	it	weren't	for	the	fact	that	the	characters	are	universally	unappealing	.	alicia	silverstone	is	completely	wasted	playing	jennifer	,	the	babysitter	.	her	character	has	absolutely	no	depth	at	all	,	and	her	sole	purpose	in	the	movie	is	to	be	the	object	of	the	other	characters'	fantasies	.	everyone	else	in	the	film	seems	to	be	in	a	competition	to	see	who	can	stoop	to	the	lowest	level	by	the	time	the	film	ends	.	the	parents	are	alcoholics	who	become	increasingly	obnoxious	as	the	movie	proceeds	.	the	father	(	played	by	j	.	t	.	walsh	)	fantasizes	about	the	babysitter	;	the	mother	fantasizes	about	her	husband's	best	friend	.	none	of	these	fantasy	sequences	,	trust	me	,	are	things	that	need	to	be	seen	,	but	we	see	them	anyway	,	complete	with	cheesy	,	make	out	saxophone	music	.	the	thug	,	in	the	meantime	,	proves	that	he's	evil	through	his	annoying	habit	of	smashing	half	empty	beer	bottles	all	of	a	sudden	and	for	no	apparent	reason	.	the	most	absurd	character	,	however	,	is	the	babysitter's	boyfriend	who	seems	catatonically	brain	dead	.	the	thug	,	in	a	manipulative	,	iago	like	manner	(	though	he	doesn't	really	need	to	try	hard	)	,	manages	to	talk	the	boyfriend	into	binge	drinking	,	smoking	grass	,	running	away	from	cops	,	and	playing	peeping	tom	on	his	own	girlfriend	in	a	matter	of	minutes	.	incredible	!	(	of	course	,	the	boyfriend's	original	plan	for	the	evening	was	,	try	not	to	laugh	,	to	sit	in	an	empty	diner	and	read	catcher	in	the	rye	by	j	.	d	.	salinger	.	)	if	the	goal	of	the	babysitter	was	to	be	suspenseful	,	then	it	fails	.	there	are	surprisingly	few	tense	moments	in	this	film	,	and	nearly	all	of	them	come	at	the	final	minute	.	by	that	time	,	however	,	the	audience	is	so	tired	of	the	inane	characters	that	no	one	truthfully	cares	what	happens	to	any	of	them	.	no	suspense	occurs	in	the	dream	sequences	either	because	every	single	one	of	them	is	obviously	a	dream	sequence	from	its	inception	.	if	the	goal	of	the	babysitter	was	to	be	humorous	,	then	it	also	fails	.	i	found	nothing	even	remotely	funny	about	the	boozing	parents	who	seemed	,	at	times	,	to	be	played	for	laughs	.	if	the	goal	of	the	babysitter	was	to	be	dramatic	,	then	,	once	again	,	it	fails	.	the	characters	are	one	dimensional	and	uninteresting	.	finally	,	if	the	goal	of	the	babysitter	was	to	be	titillating	(	the	type	of	film	destined	to	be	played	ad	infinitum	on	hbo	at	2	in	the	morning	)	,	then	it	fails	as	well	.	the	dream	sequences	aren't	erotic	;	they	are	too	brief	and	,	outside	of	one	very	short	scene	,	contain	no	nudity	.	i	can't	completely	trash	this	movie	.	the	first	10	minutes	or	so	vaguely	resemble	an	interesting	film	,	and	the	conclusion	sports	a	halfway	decent	fistfight	.	the	other	79	minutes	,	though	,	are	a	drag	.	silverstone's	character	,	at	the	end	of	the	movie	,	turns	to	her	boyfriend	and	asks	"	what	were	you	thinking	?	"	i	asked	myself	the	same	question	,	having	spent	99	cents	renting	this	turkey	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	jeremiah	kipp	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	e63ca07a750cf033882568d0001963bf	?	opendocument	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	e63ca07a750cf033882568d0001963bf	?	opendocument	a	quite	a	cast	has	been	assembled	for	this	altman	esque	tale	of	interlocked	lives	,	all	clamoring	around	the	"	serious	social	problem	"	of	gun	control	.	while	there's	no	denying	that	the	usa	has	over	fifty	million	gun	owners	and	it's	a	subject	worthy	of	address	and	debate	,	this	movie	thuddingly	hits	the	same	numb	point	over	and	over	again	:	guns	are	bad	,	guns	can	kill	.	that's	about	as	resonant	as	it's	the	rage	will	get	.	jeff	daniels	and	joan	allen	play	a	miserable	suburban	couple	whose	marriage	is	disrupted	by	an	accidental	shooting	in	their	living	room	at	midnight	.	as	it	turns	out	,	the	guy	was	daniels'	business	partner	.	allen	moves	out	in	disgust	and	,	through	a	process	of	self	discovery	,	figures	out	that	her	happy	little	life	was	nothing	more	than	a	middle	class	prison	.	she	hides	away	at	her	new	workplace	,	in	the	employ	of	eccentric	millionaire	and	computer	guru	gary	sinise	.	daniels	sits	at	home	fuming	,	renting	pornography	and	playing	with	his	gun	.	andre	braugher	(	as	daniels'	attorney	)	and	david	schwimmer	play	a	gay	couple	who	have	just	purchased	their	first	pistol	.	good	timing	,	too	,	if	you're	talking	soap	operas	.	schwimmer	has	begun	to	suspect	his	longtime	companion	of	having	an	affair	.	braugher's	problems	escalate	when	his	white	trash	lover	(	anna	paquin	)	becomes	afraid	that	her	powder	keg	older	brother	(	wild	giovanni	ribisi	)	is	gonna	grab	his	gun	and	blow	braugher	away	.	of	course	,	this	being	an	altman	esque	intertwined	plot	,	ribisi	is	chasing	after	entirely	the	wrong	guy	.	he	thinks	friendly	video	store	clerk	josh	brolin	is	the	one	who's	playing	lolita	with	his	kid	sister	.	wouldn't	you	know	that	brolin	worked	for	mad	computer	guru	sinise	at	the	start	of	the	movie	?	guns	figure	into	each	narrative	,	and	because	they're	so	close	at	hand	our	trigger	happy	cast	are	always	a	hairs	breath	from	blowing	each	other	away	.	unfortunately	,	they	don't	.	we	the	audience	are	stuck	with	ninety	minutes	of	angry	one	note	characters	who	rub	their	quirkiness	in	our	faces	.	jeff	daniels	flounders	as	a	pompous	hubbie	who	screams	and	yells	when	he	doesn't	get	his	way	and	david	schwimmer	is	grating	as	a	swishy	gay	stereotype	prone	to	fidgety	hissy	fits	.	robert	forster	sleepwalks	through	the	standard	"	cop	ready	for	retirement	"	role	who's	investigating	every	other	character	,	often	launching	into	bone	dry	,	monotonous	speeches	about	the	grim	state	of	the	world	.	oh	,	the	humanity	.	i	don't	fault	the	cast	,	though	.	some	of	them	,	like	the	always	reliable	joan	allen	,	fare	better	than	others	.	gary	sinise	in	particular	has	fun	with	his	socially	inept	geek	persona	,	often	reacting	to	the	computer	screens	in	his	room	which	purportedly	reflect	his	games	but	seem	to	display	his	own	manic	thoughts	(	which	sometimes	involve	violence	and	guns	,	natch	.	)	only	problem	is	,	the	charismatic	and	mannered	sinise	often	looks	like	he	belongs	in	another	movie	entirely	say	,	a	better	terry	gilliam	movie	,	than	the	bland	,	by	the	numbers	movie	of	the	week	everyone	else	is	taking	part	in	.	once	you	get	past	the	characters	,	the	very	look	of	the	film	screams	student	filmmaker	.	the	budget	shows	its	seams	painfully	in	poorly	lit	flat	imagery	,	often	cheating	shots	to	avoid	showing	the	entire	house	of	a	millionaire	or	upper	middle	class	couple	in	ways	which	limit	the	film	visually	.	the	final	montage	where	everything	heats	up	and	blows	,	involving	several	guns	going	off	and	many	characters	buying	the	farm	,	it's	so	choppy	and	unclear	that	i	didn't	know	what	happened	to	a	major	character	until	catching	it	a	second	time	.	intended	as	a	bleak	comedy	about	the	"	gun	control	problem	"	,	the	movie	never	finds	enough	social	nuances	in	its	display	of	guns	in	the	homes	of	the	rich	,	the	middle	class	and	the	poor	to	work	as	humor	or	political	satire	.	the	caricatures	and	situations	james	stern	has	placed	under	his	microscope	are	simply	too	broad	to	have	much	of	an	impact	.	by	the	time	i	reached	the	closing	credits	,	where	we	are	informed	what	happened	to	each	of	the	characters	afterwards	in	a	cutesy	anecdote	about	what	they	learned	(	such	as	"	don't	shoot	the	friendly	charging	rhino	,	climb	up	a	tree	instead	!	"	)	,	the	temptation	was	great	to	hang	up	my	liberal	conscience	and	join	charlton	heston's	merry	men	at	the	nra	.	i	had	to	remind	myself	,	"	it's	only	a	movie	,	it's	only	a	movie	"
neg	'runaway	bride'	is	such	a	bad	film	that	it's	difficult	to	know	where	to	begin	.	the	poster	for	it	certainly	made	it	look	like	it	was	more	interested	in	showing	the	physical	attributes	of	its	stars	rather	than	their	talents	.	their	smiles	,	their	smirks	,	their	way	with	each	other	that	was	all	seen	in	1990's	'pretty	woman'	.	the	mismatched	man	and	woman	who	dislike	each	other	at	first	but	later	fall	in	love	in	such	an	unconvincing	manner	that	not	only	is	it	an	insult	to	the	audiences	intelligence	but	takes	two	very	serious	subjects	like	prostitution	(	the	background	subject	of	'pretty	woman'	)	and	libelous	journalism	(	the	background	subject	of	'runaway	bride'	)	and	sugar	coats	them	in	a	shameful	manner	.	if	you're	going	to	make	a	film	like	this	,	why	inflate	it	with	such	an	overblown	cast	of	characters	who	mean	nothing	to	the	story	except	to	the	actors	playing	them	as	well	as	the	people	calling	the	shots	?	i	think	if	you	asked	most	movie	audiences	,	they	probably	would	have	wanted	to	see	a	sequel	to	'pretty	woman'	nine	years	after	the	original	with	more	admirable	qualities	rather	than	another	pairing	of	its	two	leading	stars	in	a	movie	with	different	material	.	look	at	1997	.	the	cast	of	1988's	'a	fish	called	wanda'	teamed	up	for	'fierce	creatures'	an	abysmal	attempt	to	go	home	again	and	capture	the	magic	of	the	original	chemistry	that	'wanda'	was	able	to	project	.	better	yet	,	how	about	a	prequel	to	'pretty	woman'	showing	how	the	character's	lives	progressed	into	their	eventual	choices	to	make	a	living	and	eventually	meeting	each	other	.	but	no	,	director	garry	marshall	chooses	to	take	his	skill	that	has	never	really	amounted	to	anything	above	the	level	of	television	entertainment	and	make	a	movie	that	appeals	only	to	a	certain	audience	and	has	very	little	to	offer	to	anyone	else	.	in	'runaway	bride'	,	gere	plays	ike	graham	,	a	journalist	for	usa	today	who	writes	a	story	that	causes	a	firestorm	of	controversy	.	his	source	,	an	intoxicated	guy	in	a	bar	,	tells	ike	that	there's	a	woman	in	small	town	america	named	maggie	carpenter	(	julia	roberts	)	who	has	developed	a	habit	of	being	a	man	eater	.	she	has	allegedly	dumped	several	would	be	grooms	at	the	altar	and	earned	the	nick	name	"	runaway	bride	"	because	she	literally	runs	away	,	bridal	dress	and	all	and	one	incident	shows	here	managing	to	escape	on	a	horse	at	full	charge	.	after	writing	an	anti	female	article	that	knocks	maggie	at	every	turn	,	women	rap	ike	on	the	head	with	a	copy	of	the	newspaper	as	he	walks	the	big	city	streets	and	his	editor	and	ex	wife	(	rita	wilson	)	fires	him	after	she	says	that	the	stuff	he	wrote	is	"	actionable	"	on	the	part	of	its	subject	.	determined	to	stand	by	his	story	win	vindication	for	himself	and	investigate	maggie	herself	,	ike	travels	to	her	small	town	and	encounters	its	culture	with	all	of	its	people	and	,	of	course	,	ike	and	maggie	fall	in	love	but	do	they	stay	together	?	you'll	have	to	see	for	yourself	.	'runaway	bride'	had	me	wanting	to	scream	in	disgust	at	many	of	the	obvious	phony	scenes	of	a	relationship	that	is	not	in	the	least	bit	convincing	and	its	climax	which	involves	the	news	of	how	the	two	leads	lives	turn	out	for	the	moment	,	has	all	of	the	films	characters	receiving	the	news	one	way	or	the	other	and	projecting	their	reaction	to	it	like	you	would	react	to	a	plot	twist	in	your	favourite	soap	opera	.	to	further	complicate	things	,	there	are	even	some	in	jokes	about	'pretty	woman'	which	aren't	even	funny	.	the	most	manipulative	film	in	the	last	ten	years	is	1989's	'dead	poets	society'	which	saved	itself	by	giving	the	audience	an	original	story	to	fall	back	on	and	the	outcome	was	both	believable	and	flowed	naturally	and	didn't	look	manufactured	.	when	a	film	can	manipulate	its	audience	and	disguise	it	as	genuine	entertainment	,	it's	still	sort	of	a	cheat	but	at	least	it	can	make	up	for	its	shortcomings	by	injecting	a	sense	of	convincing	traits	.	the	manipulation	here	is	both	obvious	with	no	redeeming	qualities	and	a	style	similar	to	fast	food	which	is	digested	quickly	and	forgotten	even	faster	.
neg	underwater	science	fiction	stays	submergedone	of	the	most	unpleasant	experiences	that	can	occur	in	a	movie	theater	is	when	a	cast	of	fine	actors	end	up	in	a	film	that	wastes	their	talents	.	you	keep	thinking	what	they	might	have	accomplished	with	the	time	they	squandered	.	psychologist	norman	goodman	(	dustin	hoffman	)	is	called	to	the	middle	of	the	pacific	ocean	to	work	with	the	survivors	of	a	plane	crash	.	when	he	arrives	at	the	site	,	he	discovers	that	there	is	no	plane	,	but	rather	an	enormous	spacecraft	that	has	been	sitting	1	,	000	feet	below	the	surface	for	almost	300	years	.	having	written	a	paper	for	the	bush	administration	on	how	to	handle	first	contact	,	he	is	chosen	to	head	up	the	team	of	scientists	investigating	the	ship	.	his	group	as	outlined	in	his	report	,	consists	of	beth	halperin	(	sharon	stone	)	,	a	biochemist	;	harry	adams	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	a	mathematician	;	and	ted	fielding	(	liev	schreiber	)	,	an	astrophysicist	.	unfortunately	it	turns	out	that	the	writing	was	a	blow	off	project	for	goodman	who	did	it	for	the	money	and	named	his	then	colleagues	to	the	team	.	"	after	all	,	"	he	explains	,	"	who	reads	government	documents	?	"	lead	by	harold	barnes	(	peter	coyote	)	,	a	top	secret	federal	operative	,	the	group	descends	to	a	mobile	undersea	headquarters	set	up	next	to	the	alien	vessel	.	once	there	they	stroll	over	,	knock	on	the	door	and	explore	the	still	operational	ufo	.	discovering	the	surprising	origin	of	the	ship	and	the	crew	finds	an	astonishing	gigantic	golden	liquid	metal	sphere	.	when	adams	enters	the	sphere	,	the	weirdness	unfolds	.	a	storm	rolls	in	on	the	surface	and	the	team	is	forced	to	remain	below	just	as	an	unseen	presence	begins	to	communicate	through	their	computer	.	"	my	name	is	jerry	.	i	am	happy	"	flashes	across	the	screen	.	this	is	unsettling	for	the	psychologist	.	"	what	happens	if	jerry	gets	mad	?	"	he	asks	.	barnes	is	more	pragmatic	:	he	needs	a	last	name	because	he	can't	put	in	his	report	that	they	made	contact	with	an	alien	named	jerry	.	then	the	situation	turns	bad	.	deadly	beasts	appear	from	nowhere	.	a	gang	of	jellyfish	kills	one	of	the	navy	personnel	.	lethal	sea	snakes	attack	goodman	.	a	giant	squid	batters	the	habitat	just	as	adams	is	reading	"	20	,	000	leagues	under	the	sea	"	.	the	suspicious	scientists	turn	against	each	other	.	this	has	all	the	makings	of	a	first	rate	thinking	man's	science	fiction	film	.	however	even	the	finest	ingredients	don't	go	very	far	in	the	hands	of	a	chief	who	doesn't	seem	to	care	about	his	product	.	director	barry	levinson	has	churned	out	a	mish	mosh	that	doesn't	engage	the	audience	beyond	a	few	skillful	suspense	scenes	.	the	first	of	the	film	zooms	by	as	the	situation	and	players	are	introduced	without	any	characterization	or	justification	.	it's	much	like	speed	reading	a	novel	and	realizing	that	you	missed	the	nuances	.	it	doesn't	get	any	better	when	the	action	scenes	begin	.	while	the	actors	do	an	adequate	job	with	their	limited	roles	,	the	people	are	still	flat	.	oddly	they	hardly	have	reactions	when	deaths	occur	around	them	.	after	adams	experiences	the	interior	of	the	sphere	,	no	one	bothers	to	ask	him	what	happened	.	their	history	together	is	an	intriguing	plot	device	but	is	barely	exploited	.	even	goodman	and	halperin's	ill	conceived	affair	when	she	was	his	student	is	just	mentioned	in	passing	.	her	psychotic	tendencies	are	talked	about	but	never	convincing	.	there's	a	truism	that	items	shown	early	in	a	movie	must	be	used	before	the	ending	,	but	here	they	are	far	too	obvious	.	when	an	emergency	mini	sub	is	explained	,	you	know	what's	going	to	happen	.	the	movie	affectations	are	nothing	more	than	distracting	.	chapter	headings	that	divide	the	movie	have	no	function	.	the	shaky	camera	work	muddies	already	perplexing	chaos	.	much	of	what	goes	on	is	confusing	and	difficult	to	follow	.	although	some	of	the	disorientation	eventually	is	understandable	,	a	great	deal	of	it	isn't	.	even	a	science	fiction	film	must	be	internally	consistent	.	there's	too	much	here	that	doesn't	make	sense	.	are	the	manifestations	real	?	the	jellyfish	kill	queen	latifa	(	in	a	throw	away	role	)	and	the	squid	nearly	destroys	the	outpost	,	but	the	bites	of	the	fatal	snakes	have	no	effect	.	a	scene	in	the	sub	suggests	that	it's	illusion	,	but	earlier	episodes	indicate	that	it's	not	.	not	everything	has	to	be	explained	to	death	,	but	there	are	major	questions	that	the	film	never	answers	.	where	the	ship	came	from	is	clarified	,	but	how	it	ended	up	on	the	ocean	floor	in	1709	is	merely	alluded	to	.	even	the	enigmatic	sphere	is	still	mysterious	when	the	credits	roll	.	the	climax	is	followed	by	15	minutes	of	epilogue	that	does	little	but	weaken	the	already	labored	tale	.	after	pre	release	audience	testing	,	the	actors	were	called	back	to	re	shoot	the	ending	.	it's	difficult	to	imagine	how	the	original	could	have	been	worse	.	following	the	recent	tradition	of	lengthy	films	,	this	weighs	in	at	over	two	very	long	hours	.	the	weak	scenes	could	have	been	cut	,	but	then	there	wouldn't	have	been	much	left	.	the	movie	was	supposedly	held	up	by	effects	work	,	but	there's	nothing	special	on	the	screen	.	we	never	even	see	the	monstrous	squid	or	the	menacing	storm	.	stealing	from	"	alien	"	,	"	the	abyss	"	and	the	disastrous	"	event	horizon	"	,	this	film	has	learned	nothing	from	them	.	remarkably	levinson	and	hoffman's	other	currently	showing	film	is	"	wag	the	dog	"	,	a	smart	and	entertaining	piece	of	work	.	this	one	could	have	been	titled	the	same	sans	one	word	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	23	years	and	is	amazed	that	the	wild	raccoons	party	mardi	is	next	week	.	it	seems	like	only	a	year	since	the	last	one	.	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	is	the	magical	electronic	eaddress	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	2	19	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	director	:	john	bruno	cast	:	jamie	lee	curtis	,	william	baldwin	,	donald	sutherland	screenplay	:	dennis	feldman	,	jonathan	hensleigh	producers	:	gale	anne	hurd	,	mike	richardson	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	universal	rated	r	:	sci	fi	violence	gore	,	language	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonthe	most	interesting	thing	about	virus	is	that	the	title	of	the	film	does	not	refer	to	the	clunky	robotic	animals	that	try	to	kill	our	heroes	.	alas	,	it	refers	to	our	heroes	!	as	it	turns	out	,	the	alien	race	that	sends	a	computer	virus	to	earth	(	via	the	mir	space	station	)	thinks	of	the	human	race	as	a	virus	perhaps	even	a	cancer	that	needs	to	be	eradicated	before	it	spreads	any	further	.	after	all	,	we	have	taken	up	this	entire	planet	,	and	if	they	let	us	live	for	another	billion	years	or	so	,	we	might	advance	beyond	our	solar	system	and	into	the	next	one	.	but	the	human	race	doesn't	have	much	to	worry	about	.	after	all	,	there's	a	woman	named	foster	(	jamie	lee	curtis	)	out	there	stopping	the	computer	virus	.	she's	the	chief	navigator	on	a	sea	vessel	;	travelling	with	her	is	captain	everton	(	donald	sutherland	)	,	steve	baker	(	william	baldwin	)	,	woods	(	marshall	bell	)	,	squeaky	(	julio	oscar	mechoso	)	,	and	richie	(	sherman	augustus	)	.	they're	all	sailing	in	a	typhoon	one	lovely	evening	when	they	stumble	across	an	enormous	,	abandoned	russian	satellite	ship	in	international	waters	.	lucky	for	us	,	we	already	saw	that	the	computer	virus	has	taken	over	the	ship	and	eliminated	everyone	on	board	.	the	evil	captain	everton	thinks	he's	going	to	take	the	ship	in	and	get	a	reward	;	he	convinces	his	crew	that	there's	going	to	be	big	money	,	so	they	try	to	salvage	the	ship	.	soon	,	however	,	when	it's	apparent	that	no	one	is	on	board	and	that	the	ship	has	no	power	,	they	realize	that	something	bad	must	have	happened	.	finally	,	they	meet	nadia	(	joanna	pacula	)	who	explains	their	situation	:	a	computer	virus	has	taken	over	the	ship	!	it's	creating	bio	mechanical	life	forms	to	eliminate	the	human	race	!	virus	is	a	truly	dumb	action	thriller	,	one	of	negligible	intelligence	and	innovation	.	when	considering	the	entire	film	,	you	will	realize	that	it	lacks	a	single	original	scene	.	it's	a	direct	rip	off	of	nearly	every	james	cameron	film	(	aliens	,	the	abyss	,	and	the	terminator	films	are	the	most	plagiarized	)	;	more	importantly	,	it's	basically	the	same	movie	as	last	year's	deep	rising	.	i	liked	deep	rising	simply	because	it's	funny	it	knows	it's	silly	and	derivative	.	virus	takes	itself	seriously	.	and	,	in	the	most	serious	manner	possible	,	it	steals	from	every	good	and	bad	film	of	the	genre	,	showing	you	countless	familiar	scenes	,	and	sporting	a	cookie	cutter	plot	that	any	film	of	the	sci	fi	horror	genre	could	fit	with	a	little	trimming	.	but	what	is	so	amazing	about	virus	is	how	poorly	the	whole	thing	has	been	thought	out	.	okay	,	let	me	get	this	straight	the	alien	race	(	which	is	never	really	explained	)	is	basically	sentient	electricity	.	they	need	to	make	themselves	physical	,	so	they	use	a	space	station	to	get	onto	a	ship	(	which	is	surrounded	by	water	,	but	who	cares	about	that	)	.	on	the	ship	,	they	make	a	bunch	of	clunky	,	immobile	robots	that	somehow	kill	three	hundred	people	.	after	that	,	they	start	using	the	dead	people	to	create	half	human	,	half	machine	creatures	that	look	like	the	terminator	but	are	much	worse	at	walking	around	.	the	leader	,	of	course	,	is	a	big	creature	.	every	film	like	this	has	a	big	creature	at	the	end	,	but	the	big	creature	in	virus	is	so	big	that	it	has	to	tear	down	the	walls	to	move	around	.	virus	is	indeed	a	cliched	film	,	but	the	central	flaw	lies	in	the	fact	that	the	computer	virus	just	isn't	very	threatening	.	it's	established	that	they	can	simply	turn	off	the	power	to	stop	it	,	but	the	virus	has	sealed	the	power	room	by	the	time	our	heroes	get	there	.	on	one	level	,	virus	is	almost	passable	fun	.	it's	really	gory	,	and	a	few	of	the	scenes	have	interesting	camp	appeal	(	the	director	,	john	bruno	,	worked	on	a	lot	of	cameron's	films	)	.	there's	also	a	nice	array	of	actors	,	even	though	none	of	them	do	any	acting	(	except	for	donald	sutherland	,	who	does	a	lot	of	very	bad	acting	)	.	the	bottom	line	,	however	,	is	this	:	virus	is	a	bad	movie	.	it	rips	off	a	lot	of	good	movies	that	are	worth	seeing	.	in	that	order	,	i	recommend	that	you	rent	any	one	of	the	alien	films	,	simply	to	admire	the	qualities	of	a	creature	that	actually	threatens	our	heroes	.
neg	before	the	remake	of	psycho	appears	,	we've	got	to	suffer	through	this	remake	of	an	earlier	hitchcock	film	,	dial	m	for	murder	.	as	usual	,	hollywood	has	filled	it	with	glitz	and	big	name	stars	,	and	it	all	amounts	to	a	loud	sounding	nothing	.	the	film	opens	with	emily	(	paltrow	)	and	david	(	viggo	mortensen	)	'having	fun'	in	an	loft	apartment	.	the	problem	is	,	paltrow	is	married	to	stephen	(	douglas	)	,	who	is	not	too	happy	when	he	discovers	this	affair	.	if	i	was	paltrow	,	though	,	i'd	definitely	go	with	mortensen	.	less	wrinkles	.	anyhow	,	stephen	approaches	david	with	an	interesting	proposition	:	he'll	pay	him	to	kill	his	lovely	wife	.	mortensen	agrees	,	but	the	murder	goes	awry	,	and	the	twists	keep	on	coming	as	the	film	progresses	.	unfortunately	,	the	film	dosen't	progress	very	fast	.	in	fact	,	it	moves	like	a	tortoise	with	arthritis	(	read	:	very	,	very	s	l	o	w	.	)	the	plot	moves	nowhere	fast	,	and	only	becomes	exciting	in	very	short	bursts	.	not	too	good	for	a	'thriller	.	'	also	,	the	performances	,	apart	from	douglas	,	are	below	par	.	paltrow	,	showing	immense	talent	in	se7en	(	1995	)	and	sliding	doors	(	1997	)	is	strangely	stilted	,	even	unconvincing	,	in	this	movie	.	mortensen	is	a	little	bit	better	,	coming	across	as	a	younger	douglas	,	but	his	role	isn't	meaty	enough	to	show	all	his	talent	.	which	leaves	douglas	to	waltz	away	with	the	film	,	which	is	does	.	however	,	i	doubt	douglas	finds	it	very	hard	to	play	a	stogie	smoking	,	drinking	womanizer	with	a	creepy	underside	.	also	popping	up	in	the	film	is	david	suchet	,	playing	a	shifty	looking	detective	.	again	,	it's	not	a	character	we're	seeing	on	the	screen	,	it's	david	suchet	.	the	director	,	who	bought	us	the	fugitive	,	piles	on	all	the	flash	techniques	,	such	as	zoom	in's	,	quick	cuts	,	etc	.	the	lighting	is	also	interesting	.	however	,	looks	can't	save	this	film	from	the	depths	of	mediocre	,	and	the	film	seemed	to	work	better	in	a	single	set	anyway	.	the	screenplay	is	o	.	k	,	but	there's	some	hackneyed	sub	plot	about	douglas	being	a	ruthless	player	on	wall	street	(	again	)	and	the	ending	is	surprisingly	stupid	and	cliched	.	the	characters	also	make	incredibly	dumb	moves	,	especially	paltrow	,	and	stephen	appears	to	lose	all	intelligence	in	the	last	reel	.	with	a	combination	of	no	tension	,	drama	,	or	decent	characters	,	a	perfect	murder	is	a	failure	all	round	,	and	an	incredible	disappointment	.	there	are	a	few	bright	moments	,	but	they	are	far	and	few	between	.	the	last	thing	a	thriller	should	be	is	boring	,	and	although	the	film	just	barely	manages	to	keep	your	interest	thanks	to	michael	douglas	,	you	wouldn't	be	missing	anything	if	you	decided	not	to	watch	a	perfect	murder	.
neg	directed	by	brian	robbins	.	cast	:	james	van	der	beek	,	jon	voight	,	paul	walker	,	ron	lester	,	amy	smart	,	ali	larter	,	scott	caan	.	1999	104	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	profanity	,	sexual	situations	,	and	nudity	)	.	reviewed	january	9	,	1999	.	"	varsity	blues	"	is	the	best	film	of	1999	thus	far	.	unfortunately	,	it	is	also	the	first	film	i	have	seen	from	1999	.	it	is	another	one	of	those	small	town	sports	movies	that	involves	a	flawed	,	but	good	heartedfrom	1999	.	it	is	another	one	of	those	small	town	sports	movies	that	involves	a	flawed	,	but	good	hearted	protagonist	;	a	rough	and	meanspirited	coach	;	and	the	"	big	game	.	"	by	the	end	,	will	the	underdog	overcome	great	odds	and	triumph	?	will	everyone	in	the	town	turn	against	the	coach	?	will	the	team	win	the	climactic	game	?	do	cats	bathe	themselves	regularly	?	the	so	called	"	hero	"	in	question	is	john	moxin	(	james	van	der	beek	)	,	a	senior	at	west	canaan	high	school	who	plays	for	the	varsity	football	team	,	but	is	really	just	hoping	to	get	a	scholarship	at	brown	university	so	that	he	can	get	out	of	the	dead	end	town	.	at	least	he's	got	the	right	idea	,	since	west	canaan	,	texas	is	portrayed	in	the	film	as	,	frankly	,	pathetic	,	with	the	whole	town	treating	the	weekly	football	games	as	the	second	coming	.	heck	,	in	one	scene	,	the	front	page	of	the	town's	newspaper	is	proclaiming	about	the	west	canaan	badgers'	big	win	the	night	before	.	when	the	team's	star	quarterback	is	severely	injured	,	tearing	the	ligaments	in	his	leg	,	john	finds	himself	taking	over	as	the	team's	leader	,	but	his	few	minutes	of	glory	do	not	last	long	,	as	he	begins	to	have	problems	with	his	girlfriend	(	amy	smart	)	when	she	discovers	he	spent	an	evening	with	another	girl	(	ali	larter	)	.	and	after	staying	out	all	night	with	his	drinking	buddies	at	a	strip	joint	(	all	of	the	teenagers	in	the	film	are	portrayed	as	raging	alcoholics	)	,	the	team	loses	their	second	to	last	game	,	putting	john	at	feuds	with	the	coach	(	jon	voight	who	,	like	gary	oldman	,	is	overstaying	his	welcome	in	the	typecasted	role	as	the	"	bad	guy	"	)	.	worse	yet	,	the	coach	is	threatening	to	ruin	john's	scholarship	chances	if	the	badgers	don't	win	their	final	game	.	the	plotting	of	"	varsity	blues	"	is	as	old	as	the	hills	,	and	contains	every	cliche	in	the	book	.	admittedly	,	i	was	never	exactly	bored	while	i	was	watching	it	,	but	i	hasten	to	add	that	i	was	rarely	ever	entertained	.	throughout	,	all	i	could	really	think	of	is	how	virtually	the	same	exact	story	had	been	filmed	with	a	great	deal	more	thoughtfulness	and	maturity	in	1983's	"	all	the	right	moves	.	"	one	of	the	biggest	problems	i	had	with	the	film	is	how	little	of	interest	any	of	the	characters	actually	were	,	least	of	all	certainly	not	john	,	who	,	played	by	van	der	beek	(	of	tv's	"	dawson's	creek	"	)	,	is	pretty	much	a	bore	without	any	engaging	qualities	.	while	i	probably	shouldn't	blame	this	on	van	der	beek	,	since	the	inauspicious	and	"	by	the	numbers	"	screenplay	by	w	.	peter	iliff	isn't	of	any	help	,	he	is	still	certainly	not	in	the	league	of	tom	cruise	in	"	all	the	right	moves	.	"	the	story	revolving	around	john	,	meanwhile	,	is	extemely	thin	throughout	,	particularly	for	its	104	minute	running	time	,	and	it	alternates	between	uninspired	comic	relief	(	as	in	when	the	students	see	their	sex	education	teacher	working	as	a	stripper	at	the	club	)	and	heavy	handed	melodrama	.	the	romance	between	john	and	his	girlfriend	had	the	potential	to	be	an	adequate	subplot	,	but	we	also	learned	very	little	about	her	,	which	is	unfortunate	since	amy	smart	,	whom	i	don't	think	i've	seen	before	in	past	films	,	is	probably	the	only	character	written	with	any	sort	of	intelligence	.	smart	does	not	allow	her	character	to	become	the	"	passive	girlfriend	,	"	instead	coming	off	as	a	young	woman	with	her	own	ideas	and	opinions	.	it's	too	bad	the	camera	didn't	linger	on	her	long	enough	so	we	could	hear	some	of	those	thoughts	.	the	adult	characters	probably	fare	the	worse	of	any	,	since	they	all	must	play	residents	of	a	dim	witted	town	that	cares	about	nothing	but	football	.	john's	relationship	with	his	parents	can	also	be	telegraphed	far	in	advance	.	his	father	is	set	on	him	becoming	a	football	player	at	a	university	,	but	john	doesn't	want	any	part	of	that	.	his	mother	stands	beside	her	"	big	,	strong	husband	"	and	is	a	passive	female	.	finally	,	jon	voight	plays	the	stock	bully	coach	character	and	he	does	nothing	to	make	the	thankless	role	any	more	than	one	dimensional	.	saving	"	varsity	blues	"	from	being	a	total	washout	are	a	few	amusing	sequences	,	including	one	set	in	the	sex	education	class	,	which	did	get	a	laugh	out	of	me	.	the	scenes	of	playing	football	were	well	shot	and	thankfully	didn't	overstay	their	welcome	,	as	many	sports	films	fall	victim	to	.	but	leaving	the	theater	,	the	question	i	had	in	my	mind	was	why	did	this	film	need	to	be	made	?	i	seem	to	be	asking	this	question	quite	a	lot	lately	,	since	the	same	old	stories	seem	to	be	cranking	out	of	hollywood	.	do	we	really	need	another	high	school	sports	film	?	no	,	we	don't	,	and	certainly	not	one	of	this	low	caliber	,	which	felt	like	a	cut	and	paste	job	of	spare	parts	from	much	better	,	but	similar	,	films	.	"	varsity	blues	,	"	no	doubt	is	the	first	one	,	however	,	to	include	an	earnest	scene	in	which	one	of	the	characters	is	only	wearing	whipped	cream	on	their	private	parts	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	haven	a
neg	robin	williams	,	this	time	without	a	beard	,	returns	to	drama	in	this	sloppy	,	sickly	sweet	fantasy	with	few	redeeming	features	apart	from	the	incredible	effects	.	he	plays	chris	nielsen	,	who	meets	annie	(	annabella	sciora	)	and	promptly	marries	her	.	they	have	two	great	kids	,	who	sadly	die	in	a	car	crash	.	just	when	it	couldn't	get	any	worse	,	chris	gets	killed	in	a	car	crash	,	and	goes	to	heaven	where	he	meets	his	guide	albert	(	gooding	jnr	.	)	annie	can't	take	the	grief	anymore	,	and	kills	herself	.	(	all	sounding	like	good	fun	so	far	?	)	the	'penalty'	for	suicide	is	to	go	to	hell	,	and	chris	goes	on	a	mission	to	try	and	rescue	her	using	the	help	of	the	traveller	(	max	von	sydow	.	)	based	on	a	novel	by	twilight	zone	writer	richard	matheson	,	what	dreams	may	come	is	clunky	,	manufactured	material	doused	with	a	extra	load	of	sugar	.	this	is	the	worse	spielberg	film	spielberg	never	made	.	everything	is	wrong	about	this	movie	:	the	performances	are	forced	,	and	the	audiences	fail	to	relate	to	any	of	the	characters	.	williams	puts	on	a	convincing	upset	face	,	but	that's	all	it	is	:	a	face	.	there's	no	emotion	behind	it	.	sciora's	performance	is	lazy	,	and	bogs	down	the	whole	film	.	she	may	look	pretty	,	but	she	can't	act	.	max	von	sydow	is	o	.	k	as	the	traveller	,	if	nothing	special	.	cuba	gooding	jnr	,	thankfully	,	adds	some	bounce	to	his	performance	,	and	is	certainly	the	best	performer	in	the	film	.	it's	a	shame	that	his	character	is	so	flat	and	2	d	,	and	offers	no	room	for	improvement	.	all	the	performers	have	to	work	with	a	soppy	script	,	that	tries	it's	best	to	get	some	emotion	going	,	but	never	takes	off	the	ground	.	there	are	_	some	_	scenes	which	could	be	real	heartwarmers	,	but	the	faceless	characters	don't	help	to	get	anything	out	of	the	performers	.	while	films	like	e	.	t	used	great	actors	,	music	and	direction	to	pull	of	a	masterful	heart	tugging	scene	,	what	dreams	may	come	is	haphazard	,	expecting	the	emotion	to	come	out	of	the	scene	automatically	.	instead	,	it's	all	rather	boring	.	sure	,	the	music	is	pretty	(	by	michael	kamen	)	and	the	cinematography	isn't	bad	(	by	eduardo	serra	)	but	there's	something	lacking	.	the	script	doesn't	help	,	filled	with	hopeless	romantic	clichs	,	and	dud	speeches	.	richard	matheson	can	write	some	awesome	science	fiction	stories	,	sadly	this	novel	would	look	embarrassed	in	a	bargain	bin	,	let	alone	being	converted	into	a	70	million	vehicle	for	robin	williams	.	despite	being	set	in	heaven	,	what	dreams	may	come	is	mightily	depressing	.	the	film	rushes	a	happy	ending	,	but	everything	before	this	is	very	,	very	sad	and	black	,	which	just	adds	to	make	the	ending	even	more	hopeless	and	stupid	.	but	there's	one	redeeming	feature	about	this	failure	of	a	movie	:	the	special	effects	.	heaven	and	hell	are	truly	incredible	places	,	and	the	actors	fit	perfectly	with	the	virtual	sets	.	but	despite	this	,	what	dreams	may	come	,	proves	to	be	nothing	but	the	biggest	disappointment	of	1998	.	instead	of	raising	questions	about	existence	,	it	raises	boredom	.	sadly	,	i	recommend	you	give	this	film	a	miss	.	better	luck	next	time	,	robin	.
neg	director	:	john	pasquin	writers	:	bruce	a	.	evans	and	raymond	a	.	gideon	starring	:	tim	allen	,	sam	huntington	,	martin	short	,	lolita	davidovitch	,	jobeth	williams	,	david	ogden	stiers	,	leelee	sobieski	okay	,	i	just	don't	know	why	,	but	i	seem	to	be	getting	this	diversion	to	disney	made	real	life	actors	movies	.	.	.	as	well	as	real	life	acting	tim	allen	movies	.	i	couldn't	even	make	it	through	"	the	santa	clause	,	"	so	why	did	i	even	see	this	?	(	just	to	make	an	idle	point	,	i	did	like	"	toy	story	,	"	but	that	was	good	)	also	,	i	have	this	aversion	to	bad	french	farces	,	and	if	they	remake	them	into	american	films	.	well	,	this	is	my	excuse	:	it	was	prom	night	,	i'm	not	a	prom	person	,	my	best	friend	and	i	impulsively	went	to	the	drive	ins	where	they	were	playing	"	grosse	pointe	blank	"	wouldn't	mind	seeing	it	again	but	i	had	to	suffer	through	this	first	.	i	agreed	to	go	.	ugh	.	in	all	fairness	,	i	can	say	that	at	least	this	inane	plot	wasn't	dreamed	by	an	american	.	it	was	originally	a	french	film	released	in	america	under	the	pseudonym	of	"	little	indian	,	big	city	"	(	french	title	"	un	indien	dans	la	ville	"	)	.	i	stayed	away	from	it	like	it	was	limburgher	,	and	according	to	roger	ebert	,	that	was	a	good	idea	.	but	i	can	only	imagine	how	bad	that	must	be	if	this	is	an	improvement	.	the	stupid	plot	concerns	a	father	who	just	learns	he	has	a	son	from	his	current	marriage	.	let	me	clarify	:	his	wife	(	jobeth	williams	)	left	him	years	ago	,	and	i	mean	years	around	13	or	so	and	went	to	an	island	in	the	carribean	or	something	.	he	goes	to	her	to	finally	get	the	divorce	papers	signed	so	he	can	remarry	this	.	.	.	thing	(	played	with	an	emphasis	on	over	done	by	lolita	davidovitch	,	who	is	usually	good	)	.	she	tells	him	he	has	a	son	as	his	boatman	goes	off	.	he	meets	him	,	he	has	a	weird	name	(	mimi	seku	,	i	think	.	.	.	or	as	the	bad	joke	goes	"	mitsubishi	"	laugh	track	cue	)	,	he	knows	english	,	they	fish	,	more	bad	jokes	,	pirhanna	joke	,	the	kid	has	a	pet	spider	,	he	makes	a	promise	to	take	him	to	the	statue	of	liberty	.	.	.	you	know	the	drill	.	now	this	is	where	the	plot	complicates	(	well	,	complicates	for	this	one	,	at	least	)	:	the	fish	out	of	water	joke	switches	from	tim	allen	on	an	island	to	his	island	son	in	new	york	city	.	tim	is	a	stock	broker	and	his	coffee	profits	are	plunging	because	his	laptop	died	and	he	wasn't	able	to	communicate	with	his	assistant	or	whatever	he	is	martin	short	.	a	russian	mob	is	tossed	into	the	plot	somewhere	(	how	come	in	every	hokey	french	import	,	there	is	a	mob	?	!	)	tim	learns	a	lesson	of	life	from	his	son	and	we	discover	that	cellular	phones	can	operate	on	an	island	even	though	there	are	no	sockets	to	recharge	the	batteries	.	the	story	is	crap	,	the	jokes	are	hokey	and	not	really	funny	,	and	the	actors	have	to	struggle	to	make	it	interesting	.	but	the	material	is	so	fowl	that	even	a	rewrite	by	quentin	tarantino	couldn't	help	it	.	the	whole	time	,	i	kept	thinking	that	a	grown	person	had	to	think	this	up	and	several	more	grown	people	had	to	do	this	.	at	the	end	of	filming	,	did	they	all	scream	out	,	"	we've	made	a	great	movie	,	guys	!	"	i	sure	hope	not	.	big	question	to	get	from	this	film	:	why	would	someone	want	to	remake	what	was	billed	as	one	of	the	worst	films	of	all	time	if	they're	just	going	to	do	it	the	exact	same	way	?	huh	?	my	rating	(	out	of	5	)	:	(	for	some	of	the	actors'	names	and	a	joke	or	two	that	made	me	chuckle	,	i	guess	.	.	.	okay	,	so	i	really	feel	bad	for	it	,	so	i	only	gave	it	one	star	)
neg	the	outrageous	antics	of	comedian	rodney	dangerfield	are	seen	in	such	hilarious	films	as	'caddyshack'	(	1980	)	,	'easy	money'	(	1983	)	and	'back	to	school'	(	1986	)	.	'back	to	school'	is	probably	the	funniest	and	most	likable	of	these	films	but	dangerfield	(	who	is	75	)	has	lost	his	way	pretty	much	with	'meet	wally	sparks'	.	rodney	portrays	an	unorthodox	tabloid	talk	show	host	who	becomes	mixed	up	in	one	wild	situation	with	a	southern	governor	and	his	family	who	are	extremely	conservative	.	dangerfield's	son	becomes	romantically	involved	with	the	governor's	daughter	and	a	television	executive's	assistant	who's	trying	to	have	rodney	fired	is	in	tow	and	gets	exactly	what	he	deserves	.	throw	in	a	political	sex	scandal	and	a	head	butting	feud	with	dangerfield's	television	boss	(	burt	reynolds	)	and	you	have	the	makings	for	a	trivial	and	desperate	comedy	of	enormously	bad	proportions	.	someone	should	have	told	dangerfield	(	who	co	wrote	the	picture	)	that	less	is	sometimes	more	and	that	good	comedy	doesn't	necessarily	include	throwing	in	everything	but	the	kitchen	sink	in	order	to	make	people	laugh	and	the	film	degrades	not	only	itself	but	the	audience	.	furthermore	the	film	is	bogged	down	with	dangerfield's	one	liners	that	are	growing	tiresome	.	it's	slapstick	humour	is	both	juvenile	and	self	defeating	.	given	the	limited	release	this	film	had	,	i	suspect	that	it	may	have	been	considered	at	some	point	as	a	direct	to	video	release	.	dangerfield's	fans	will	be	pleased	but	others	may	feel	that	even	though	we	somehow	know	what	to	expect	going	in	,	we	don't	expect	the	humour	to	hammer	us	over	the	head	like	a	baseball	bat	.
neg	apparantly	money	talks	.	.	.	and	uses	quite	a	bit	of	obscenities	doing	so	!	i've	always	considered	myself	pretty	open	about	the	gratuity	a	film	can	possess	,	whether	in	language	,	violence	,	sex	,	or	what	have	you	.	i	find	that	this	fact	gives	me	a	little	more	leverage	to	complain	when	a	movie	goes	overboard	,	and	money	talks	definitely	does	!	it's	not	so	much	that	the	movie	swore	nearly	constantly	(	and	i	mean	constantly	!	)	,	but	it	swore	so	much	that	it	seemed	overly	prominent	and	way	too	staged	.	perhaps	if	one	character	were	foul	mouthed	,	but	in	this	film	,	everybody	swears	nearly	every	other	word	.	money	talks	is	about	a	black	ticket	scalper	named	franklin	hatchett	(	played	less	annoyingly	than	expected	by	chris	tucker	)	.	franklin	is	your	typical	con	man	and	ends	up	with	more	than	one	person	out	to	get	him	.	when	the	plot	finally	gets	underway	,	there's	no	less	than	three	people	(	or	groups	)	that	want	him	,	dead	or	alive	.	the	frenchman	who's	somewhat	responsible	for	franklin's	escape	from	a	prisoner	packed	bus	,	a	hoodlum	whom	franklin	owes	seven	grand	,	and	the	cops	who	wrongly	suspect	him	of	murder	.	franklin's	only	hope	:	james	russell	(	charlie	sheen	)	,	an	investigative	reporter	for	the	local	news	who's	out	to	prove	himself	a	worthy	journalist	.	james	offers	to	help	clear	franklin's	name	if	franklin	will	just	allow	him	an	exclusive	report	to	help	channel	12	conquer	sweeps	week	.	both	of	these	elements	are	completely	lost	along	the	way	however	,	and	never	do	reappear	.	as	expected	,	the	odd	couple	of	franklin	and	james	do	wind	up	friends	at	the	end	,	which	is	another	wasted	element	seeing	as	how	they	show	no	signs	of	becoming	friends	at	any	point	along	the	way	.	there	is	just	nothing	original	or	intriguing	about	this	film	,	and	so	many	developments	are	either	non	relevant	,	or	just	plain	forgotten	about	.	money	talks	is	a	paint	by	numbers	movie	that	lacks	any	real	involvment	with	the	audience	.	frivilous	dialogue	,	a	predictable	,	flat	storyline	,	and	two	dimensional	characters	make	money	talks	a	reason	to	save	your	money	.
neg	director	:	woody	allen	cast	:	hank	azaria	,	kenneth	branagh	,	judy	davis	,	leonardo	dicaprio	,	melanie	griffith	,	famke	janssen	,	michael	lerner	,	joe	mantegna	,	winona	ryder	,	charlize	theron	,	dylan	baker	,	screenplay	:	woody	allen	producer	:	jean	doumanian	runtime	:	113	min	.	us	distribution	:	miramax	rated	r	:	language	,	sex	,	drug	use	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonif	you're	going	to	make	a	two	hour	hollywood	in	joke	,	why	bother	releasing	it	to	the	general	public	?	if	you're	going	to	create	a	film	that	will	appeal	primarily	to	big	name	actors	and	people	who	know	woody	allen	,	then	why	waste	the	time	of	the	rest	of	us	peons	by	playing	it	in	theaters	?	while	watching	celebrity	,	i	realized	that	allen	had	only	marginal	interest	in	creating	a	story	about	real	people	.	what	he	really	wanted	to	do	was	continue	on	his	recent	kick	of	conceited	self	deprecation	.	celebrity	is	yet	another	film	in	which	allen	tells	a	story	about	himself	,	living	in	a	world	that	he's	familiar	with	,	dealing	with	people	like	the	ones	he	actually	knows	.	allen	recruited	poor	kenneth	branagh	to	bumble	through	this	picture	,	in	an	imitation	of	allen	so	perfect	that	it	almost	made	me	like	the	film	more	.	branagh	plays	lee	simon	,	a	journalist	turned	screenwriter	who	divorces	his	wife	,	robin	(	judy	davis	)	,	shacks	up	with	some	hot	women	(	famke	janssen	,	charlize	theron	,	winona	ryder	)	,	and	goes	about	trying	to	get	big	stars	(	melanie	griffith	,	leonardo	dicaprio	)	to	read	his	script	about	an	armored	car	robbery	.	the	usual	elements	of	recent	allen	films	are	all	here	,	including	the	sexual	insecurity	of	the	main	character	,	lots	of	self	loathing	women	,	and	a	tiring	continuum	of	episodes	that	are	only	loosely	related	to	one	another	.	unless	you	work	in	the	film	industry	or	know	woody	allen	personally	,	it's	not	likely	that	you'll	find	a	whole	lot	of	interest	in	celebrity	.	aside	from	all	the	in	jokes	,	the	story	falls	far	short	of	compelling	,	and	the	characters	are	all	empty	and	lifeless	.	branagh	proves	once	again	that	he's	a	superb	performer	,	nailing	his	imitation	of	allen	flawlessly	.	the	problem	is	that	he's	the	same	character	allen	always	plays	,	a	character	who's	getting	more	than	a	little	dull	to	watch	.	i	mean	,	come	on	,	how	many	times	have	you	seen	this	guy	?	he	hates	his	work	,	and	he	can't	be	satisfied	by	any	one	woman	,	and	,	at	the	end	of	the	movie	,	nothing	has	been	solved	.	he	brings	all	of	his	problems	upon	himself	(	crashing	his	car	because	he's	receiving	fellatio	,	and	other	such	stunts	)	,	so	it's	pretty	hard	to	care	about	him	.	in	addition	,	isn't	allen	capable	of	creating	characters	who	aren't	just	like	him	?	i	know	he	is	,	but	he	didn't	do	it	in	celebrity	.	the	vacant	emotional	attachment	with	the	main	character	is	not	recaptured	in	the	supporting	performances	.	davis	,	playing	the	same	woman	with	low	self	esteem	that	she	played	in	deconstructing	harry	,	has	a	few	touching	moments	,	but	ends	up	the	same	despicable	celebrity	type	that	fills	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	some	of	the	actresses	are	saved	because	of	their	beauty	theron	and	ryder	,	especially	but	they're	not	likable	people	.	only	famke	janssen	,	as	a	book	editor	interested	in	simon's	new	novel	,	has	any	life	.	the	men	in	the	picture	don't	do	much	better	joe	mantegna	is	pretty	dull	as	the	man	who	remarries	robin	,	while	dicaprio	,	as	a	christian	slater	johnny	depp	type	spoiled	young	actor	,	is	funny	but	disengaging	.	what's	really	insulting	about	celebrity	is	how	dull	and	standard	its	"	themes	"	are	.	allen	seems	to	think	that	he's	making	an	insightful	movie	about	the	way	"	normal	"	people	look	at	celebrities	.	the	main	problem	with	this	is	that	the	character	with	whom	we're	supposed	to	identify	,	simon	,	is	not	a	"	normal	"	guy	he's	just	as	entrenched	in	the	hollywood	image	as	the	rest	of	the	characters	.	the	other	problem	is	that	the	image	we	get	of	these	celebrities	is	no	more	enlightening	than	the	view	the	media	gives	us	none	of	them	register	as	realistic	,	interesting	characters	;	they	mostly	just	function	as	set	pieces	for	boring	dialogue	.	in	addition	,	allen	decides	he	needs	a	scene	in	which	the	theme	is	expressed	explicitly	(	robin	,	in	this	scene	,	says	something	like	,	"	it's	interesting	to	see	the	way	we	all	look	at	the	people	we	celebrate	!	"	)	.	celebrity	is	arguably	allen's	biggest	misfire	to	date	.	it	does	have	a	few	good	scenes	theron's	super	orgasmic	model	character	is	kind	of	funny	,	and	the	last	scene	might	have	been	moving	had	the	rest	of	the	film	shown	us	a	character	or	two	.	but	celebrity	is	a	failure	at	the	core	,	unless	allen's	point	was	to	make	a	self	indulgent	movie	about	himself	and	his	friends	.	if	he	wanted	to	make	his	audience	feel	like	they	were	on	the	outside	of	a	big	joke	,	then	he	succeeded	in	that	.	i	,	for	one	,	don't	enjoy	feeling	like	an	outsider	.
neg	mulholland	drive	did	very	well	at	the	cannes	film	festival	.	as	you	can	see	from	the	rating	it	did	not	do	very	well	from	me	at	the	toronto	international	film	festival	.	it	may	not	be	clear	to	the	viewer	why	i	am	so	negative	on	this	film	for	most	of	the	running	time	.	in	fact	it	is	an	interesting	mystery	story	told	on	the	backdrop	of	the	hollywood	film	industry	.	toward	the	end	of	the	film	i	think	everything	that	has	been	built	falls	apart	.	the	film	was	to	be	a	pilot	for	a	tv	series	but	writer	and	director	david	lynch	did	not	sell	his	tv	pilot	and	i	think	he	decided	that	he	wanted	to	do	something	else	with	it	.	something	else	is	what	he	did	.	the	film	opens	with	a	woman	(	played	by	laura	harring	)	about	to	be	killed	in	a	car	when	a	car	crash	saves	her	life	.	she	crawls	away	from	the	accident	with	a	concussion	and	finds	herself	a	bungalow	with	an	unlocked	door	to	sleep	.	meanwhile	young	vivacious	betty	(	naomi	watts	)	arrives	in	hollywood	from	canada	.	she	wants	to	build	a	career	as	an	actress	.	betty	is	a	little	surprised	to	find	a	woman	sleeping	in	the	borrowed	bungalow	.	she	does	not	know	who	the	woman	is	.	she	is	even	more	surprised	when	the	woman	awakes	and	does	not	herself	know	who	she	is	.	they	fix	on	a	name	rita	for	her	,	but	are	not	sure	if	this	right	or	not	.	meanwhile	local	director	adam	kesher	(	justin	theroux	)	has	problems	of	his	own	.	he	is	trying	to	cast	one	actress	for	his	new	film	and	is	getting	pressure	from	the	producers	and	from	crime	figures	to	cast	someone	else	,	cammie	rhodes	(	melissa	george	)	.	these	two	threads	are	joined	by	a	third	one	in	which	there	is	a	strange	and	comic	murder	that	goes	terribly	wrong	.	there	is	also	a	strange	character	called	the	cowboy	(	monty	montgomery	)	adding	to	the	confusion	.	in	what	was	probably	intended	for	the	television	pilot	the	film	opens	with	a	great	vibrancy	showing	dancing	60s	style	under	the	credits	.	a	lot	of	mulholland	drive	starts	out	fun	.	lynch	wants	you	to	know	he	could	make	an	enjoyable	stylish	film	.	he	just	chooses	not	to	.	as	with	any	david	lynch	film	there	is	strange	material	added	for	little	reason	.	there	are	no	earthworms	,	but	there	are	some	decidedly	strange	david	lynch	touches	.	the	film	is	a	little	long	for	the	subject	matter	.	toward	the	end	it	gets	into	some	heavier	violence	and	sex	scenes	,	clearly	not	intended	for	the	tv	pilot	.	unfortunately	some	of	the	most	important	comments	to	make	about	this	film	would	be	spoilers	.	i	will	not	mention	them	in	the	main	body	of	the	review	but	i	give	mulholland	drive	a	4	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	low	0	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.	mulholland	drive	spoiler	warning	.	i	have	rated	this	film	fairly	low	.	you	should	read	this	only	after	seeing	the	film	or	deciding	that	you	will	not	see	the	film	.	david	lynch	is	in	large	part	a	dark	satirist	.	most	of	his	work	is	done	in	familiar	genres	but	in	some	way	shows	their	underside	.	in	mulholland	drive	i	think	he	is	having	a	laugh	at	the	expense	of	the	crime	film	genre	.	what	he	does	with	this	film	is	(	are	you	sure	you	want	to	read	this	?	)	playing	off	the	audience	expectations	that	there	will	be	a	simple	explanation	for	what	is	going	on	.	the	first	80	of	the	film	he	tells	a	simple	multi	thread	crime	story	with	clues	sprinkled	throughout	.	then	suddenly	at	the	end	he	turns	the	story	on	its	ear	with	a	large	number	of	clues	that	appear	that	they	should	add	up	to	something	.	the	audience	expectation	is	that	they	will	add	up	.	but	he	has	given	clues	that	are	self	contradictory	.	lynch	wants	the	audience	to	argue	about	what	they	have	seen	afterward	and	come	up	with	theories	.	in	fact	,	the	pointers	are	noticeably	contradictory	and	until	i	hear	a	better	explanation	,	i	think	lynch	is	merely	playing	a	joke	.	there	is	a	visual	curiosity	that	was	popular	in	the	sixties	.	mad	magazine	called	it	a	poiuyt	.	other	sources	called	it	a	tri	pronged	u	bar	.	look	at	small	portions	of	it	and	makes	sense	.	look	at	the	whole	figure	and	it	does	not	.	this	film	is	,	in	my	estimation	,	the	cinematic	equivalent	of	a	tri	pronged	u	bar	.
neg	wrong	o	.	i've	never	played	the	game	aside	from	a	30	minute	tour	,	and	now	i	wish	i	hadn't	seen	the	movie	,	either	.	come	now	,	you	say	,	it	can't	be	that	bad	!	wasn't	wing	commander	a	highly	lauded	,	critically	acclaimed	video	game	?	maybe	the	star	wars	of	the	pc	?	sure	.	but	when	you	rid	yourself	of	everything	but	the	title	and	the	setting	(	redux	:	humans	at	war	with	kilrathi	,	an	evil	alien	race	that	look	like	walking	walnuts	with	beards	)	,	you'll	find	you're	high	and	dry	.	how	bad	is	wing	commander	?	bad	.	really	bad	.	throughout	most	of	the	film	,	my	advance	screening	theater	was	filled	with	the	merry	sounds	of	laughter	.	alas	,	there	are	no	(	intentional	)	jokes	on	film	.	(	disclaimer	:	said	laughter	does	not	count	those	who	had	fallen	asleep	.	)	not	only	does	the	plot	stink	,	but	wing	commander	has	some	of	the	worst	dialogue	this	side	of	showgirls	.	the	marketing	ploy	behind	wing	commander	is	obvious	,	and	i'll	outline	the	sad	history	for	you	so	you	can	get	a	sense	for	it	.	.	.	.	20th	century	fox	nabs	rights	to	successful	video	game	for	crossover	hit	(	mortal	kombat	,	the	movie	,	was	hugely	successful	)	maybe	even	a	franchise	!	but	isn't	mark	hamill	getting	old	?	replace	him	with	some	young	,	unknown	studs	and	draw	the	teen	crowd	!	it'll	be	cheap	!	uh	oh	.	.	.	movie's	done	and	it	is	cheap	.	.	.	in	every	way	imaginable	.	shelve	the	movie	.	fast	forward	a	few	years	.	.	.	uh	oh	again	!	prinze	and	lillard	are	,	surprise	,	big	stars	!	release	movie	with	big	ad	campaign	,	touting	the	newly	idolized	heroes	.	teens	go	nuts	!	score	!
neg	directed	by	mark	tarlov	.	cast	:	sarah	michelle	gellar	,	sean	patrick	flanery	,	patricia	clarkson	,	christopher	durang	,	larry	gilliard	jr	.	,	dylan	baker	,	betty	buckley	.	1999	95	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	(	for	profanity	)	.	reviewed	february	6	,	1999	.	blatantly	borrowing	elements	from	1993's	"	like	water	for	chocolate	"	and	1991's	"	the	butcher's	wife	,	"	"	simply	irresistible	"	attempts	to	be	a	whimsical	romantic	comedy	but	,	more	often	than	not	,	comes	off	as	laughable	,	leaving	you	to	wonder	why	rising	star	sarah	michelle	gellar	(	t	.	v	.	's	"	buffy	,	the	vampire	slayer	"	)	would	choose	such	an	obviously	inept	film	project	to	waste	her	time	on	.	things	get	off	to	a	bad	start	right	from	the	onset	as	amanda	(	sarah	michelle	gellar	)	,	a	young	woman	who	runs	her	late	family's	struggling	new	york	restaurant	,	runs	into	a	mystery	man	who	forces	a	bushel	of	crabs	on	her	and	then	vansihes	into	thin	air	.	while	out	shopping	,	she	also	meets	tom	(	sean	patrick	flanery	)	,	a	charming	,	handsome	man	,	who	happens	to	be	planning	a	ritzy	restaurant	for	the	department	store	he	works	for	,	and	later	when	he	decides	to	drop	by	her	dive	,	called	southern	cross	,	for	lunch	,	she	somehow	makes	a	delicious	crab	dish	for	him	,	even	though	she	is	known	to	not	be	a	very	good	chef	.	suddenly	,	amanda	finds	her	restaurant	,	on	the	edge	of	foreclosure	,	rejuvenate	to	life	as	customer	begin	to	swarm	for	her	food	,	which	strangely	causes	everyone	immediate	jubilation	when	it	hits	their	mouths	.	are	amanda	and	tom	destined	to	be	together	?	and	is	it	not	just	because	of	the	magical	food	,	but	because	they	really	,	truly	like	each	other	?	and	what	exactly	is	going	on	with	the	food	she	is	making	?	does	it	have	anything	to	do	with	that	pesky	crab	she	got	that	sits	on	the	shelf	in	the	kitchen	somehow	assisting	her	in	her	food	preparation	?	"	simply	irresistible	"	is	a	ridiculous	and	just	plain	goofy	romantic	fantasy	that's	as	flimsy	as	a	slice	of	bologna	.	it	takes	one	joke	that	people	who	eat	the	food	are	taken	aback	by	it	in	most	unusual	ways	and	recycles	it	over	and	over	again	until	the	film	has	reached	an	appropriate	running	time	of	95	minutes	.	add	in	a	music	montage	every	ten	minutes	(	these	are	actually	the	best	scenes	in	the	movie	,	which	certainly	tells	you	something	about	the	film	itself	)	,	and	what	you've	got	is	an	utterly	empty	,	if	not	necessarily	boring	,	excursion	.	the	cast	of	"	simply	irresistible	"	is	fairly	good	,	but	it	is	the	supporting	characters	who	are	the	most	interesting	.	patricia	clarkson	(	1998's	"	high	art	,	"	in	which	she	played	a	drugged	out	lesbian	)	is	a	standout	as	tom's	colleague	,	and	is	thankfully	given	a	few	funny	lines	of	dialogue	.	also	of	note	is	larry	gilliard	jr	.	,	as	amanda's	cooking	assistant	and	buddy	,	who	is	allowed	to	create	a	seemingly	full	character	out	of	only	a	handful	of	scenes	.	of	the	main	stars	,	sarah	michelle	gellar	is	fine	,	but	really	does	often	look	like	she's	struggling	through	the	unmistakably	clumsy	material	,	and	if	sean	patrick	flanery	plans	on	keeping	a	film	career	in	the	future	,	he	has	certainly	got	to	pick	better	projects	than	this	.	the	bottom	line	is	that	"	simply	irresistible	"	is	the	exact	opposite	of	its	deprophesized	title	,	and	when	the	movie	got	to	the	point	where	the	characters	began	to	float	in	mid	air	(	an	unamusing	plot	device	that	was	repeated	in	the	stupid	last	scene	)	,	my	mind	checked	out	from	the	characters	and	the	romance	.	when	i	think	about	it	in	hindsight	,	i	should	have	checked	out	in	the	very	first	scene	,	where	the	point	of	the	action	was	for	gellar	to	crawl	under	tables	looking	for	a	runaway	mechanical	crab	.	now	,	that	certainly	is	what	i'd	call	magical	!	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putmam	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	wrongfully	accused	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	warner	bros	.	1	:	26	1998	pg	13	(	language	,	sexual	crude	humor	,	comic	violence	)	cast	:	leslie	nielsen	;	richard	crenna	;	kelly	le	brock	;	melinda	mcgraw	;	michael	york	;	aaron	pearl	;	sandra	bernhard	director	:	pat	proft	screenplay	:	pat	proft	hr	there	are	those	of	us	who	think	of	leslie	nielsen	as	the	bumbling	,	hapless	straight	man	from	the	hysterical	"	naked	gun	"	films	,	crack	an	immediate	smile	and	forgive	him	of	whatever	wavering	movie	spoof	he's	committed	himself	to	starring	in	since	.	the	wavering	movie	spoofs	,	however	,	are	less	forgivable	.	to	be	fair	,	"	wrongfully	accused	,	"	the	send	up	in	question	and	nielsen's	third	parody	since	the	last	"	gun	,	"	isn't	quite	as	excruciatingly	humorless	as	his	"	dracula	:	dead	and	loving	it	"	or	"	spy	hard	,	"	which	is	a	mighty	good	thing	.	nielsen	is	still	in	tip	top	comedic	form	,	able	as	ever	to	deadpan	his	way	through	even	the	most	horrible	puns	,	but	he	really	needs	a	screenplay	that	plays	off	his	talents	instead	of	relying	on	them	,	and	he	needs	one	very	soon	.	"	wrongfully	accused	"	meshes	together	the	premises	of	"	the	fugitive	"	and	"	patriot	games	,	"	casting	its	always	game	star	as	ryan	harrison	(	get	it	?	)	,	a	master	violinist	who	is	drawn	into	an	affair	with	a	married	temptress	(	kelly	le	brock	)	.	she	,	however	,	sets	harrison	up	to	take	the	rap	for	the	murder	of	her	husband	(	michael	york	)	a	crime	actually	committed	by	a	one	armed	,	one	legged	,	one	eyed	man	(	aaron	pearl	)	.	harrison	is	arrested	,	found	guilty	and	sentenced	to	death	,	but	escapes	from	a	prison	bus	,	of	course	,	and	then	is	pursued	by	a	determined	u	.	s	.	marshal	named	fergus	falls	(	richard	crenna	,	unnecessarily	riffing	off	of	tommy	lee	jones'	already	smirky	oscar	winning	role	)	.	there's	also	a	mystery	brunette	(	melinda	mcgraw	)	and	an	assassination	subplot	involving	the	u	.	n	.	secretary	general	,	but	like	any	of	it	matters	.	"	wrongfully	accused	"	gets	off	to	an	assured	start	,	with	an	in	concert	nielsen	,	touted	"	lord	of	the	violin	"	by	bare	chested	posters	,	pulling	a	jimi	hendrix	on	his	musical	instrument	as	hundreds	of	tuxedo	clad	mosh	in	front	of	the	stage	.	nice	touch	.	most	of	the	scenes	that	follow	,	however	,	never	top	the	opener	.	(	hysterical	exceptions	:	the	mentos	and	"	baywatch	"	goofs	.	)	movie	parodies	are	crammed	in	at	an	almost	subliminal	rate	,	but	most	are	empty	.	when	a	giant	snake	lunges	onto	the	screen	and	snatches	a	cast	member	a	la	"	anaconda	"	or	baseball	players	disappear	into	a	"	field	of	dreams	"	esque	cornfield	,	there's	really	nothing	to	laugh	at	.	other	moments	,	like	an	interlude	in	a	fishing	shop	,	are	so	unfocused	that	you're	not	sure	what	you're	supposed	to	be	laughing	at	.	there	seem	to	be	more	cheap	references	than	frenzied	send	ups	here	,	so	it's	possible	that	director	writer	pat	proft	,	by	bombarding	the	viewer	with	a	careless	mixture	of	the	two	,	guarantees	something	is	sure	to	stick	.	and	what	does	stick	sticks	well	,	particularly	the	jabs	at	genre	conventions	like	stylized	flashbacks	and	hard	boiled	dialogue	,	what	those	"	naked	gun	"	s	(	which	proft	collaborated	on	)	did	great	;	these	bits	are	so	on	target	that	they	allow	you	to	remember	"	wrongfully	accused	"	as	an	almost	halfway	there	spoof	instead	of	a	lame	brained	failure	.	the	movie	might	have	been	cursed	to	begin	with	,	opening	fast	on	the	heels	of	"	mafia	!	"	,	from	proft	colleague	jim	abrahams	,	and	"	baseketball	,	"	from	proft	colleague	david	zucker	,	but	it's	a	strong	possibility	that	nobody	is	going	to	be	accusing	"	wrongfully	accused	"	of	being	nielsen's	funniest	.	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	the	plot	of	jungle	2	jungle'	has	been	removed	from	a	french	film	called	little	indian	,	big	city	.	'	the	operation	was	a	failure	and	the	patient	dies	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	jungle	2	jungle	"
neg	computer	games	don't	translate	well	into	feature	films	just	check	out	mortal	kombat	,	streetfighter	,	super	mario	brothers	and	judge	dredd	for	proof	.	now	you	can	add	to	this	inauspicious	list	wing	commander	,	a	dull	and	clich	ridden	futuristic	space	adventure	that	makes	the	phantom	menace	seem	like	citizen	kane	by	comparison	.	set	some	500	years	in	the	future	,	wing	commander	is	a	science	fiction	adventure	aimed	squarely	at	undemanding	teenage	audiences	.	the	plot	deals	with	a	confederation	attempt	to	stop	an	attack	on	earth	launched	by	the	hostile	slug	like	kilrathi	.	apparently	the	kilrathi	have	gained	access	to	a	navigation	device	that	will	enable	them	to	launch	a	surprise	attack	on	the	earth	.	sent	to	counter	this	threat	are	two	rookie	pilots	straight	out	of	military	academy	and	the	diligent	,	a	decrepit	old	trade	vessel	piloted	by	the	enigmatic	paladin	(	tcheky	karyo	,	from	bad	boys	,	etc	)	.	the	aptly	named	maniac	(	matthew	lillard	,	from	scream	,	etc	)	is	full	of	bravado	but	little	actual	combat	experience	.	christopher	blair	(	freddie	prinze	jr	,	from	she's	all	that	,	etc	)	carries	a	vital	coded	message	about	the	planned	invasion	.	although	his	father	was	a	legendary	hero	,	blair	is	not	entirely	trusted	by	confederation	commanders	because	of	his	mixed	heritage	.	their	flight	commander	is	deveraux	(	saffron	burrows	,	from	circle	of	friends	and	the	upcoming	shark	thriller	deep	blue	sea	,	etc	)	,	a	tough	as	nails	woman	who	has	forgotten	her	humanity	.	chris	roberts	,	who	conceived	and	developed	the	series	of	computer	games	on	which	the	film	is	based	,	makes	his	feature	film	debut	as	a	director	,	but	his	handling	of	the	material	is	less	than	emphatic	.	the	special	effects	are	good	,	but	the	action	sequences	lack	genuine	excitement	.	one	of	the	key	sequences	,	in	which	our	heroes	hide	from	an	enemy	fleet	that	is	tracking	them	by	radar	,	resembles	those	old	w	.	w	.	ii	submarine	movies	of	yesteryear	,	a	comparison	that	is	enhanced	through	the	stolid	presence	of	jurgen	prochnow	(	das	boot	,	etc	)	.	the	seemingly	hurriedly	written	script	has	enough	holes	to	sink	a	black	hole	.	the	hunky	youthful	cast	will	certainly	appeal	to	the	target	audience	,	even	if	their	enthusiastic	,	but	shallow	,	performances	lack	conviction	.	the	international	supporting	cast	of	veterans	(	prochnow	,	karyo	,	david	warner	and	david	suchet	)	deliver	dour	,	wooden	performances	that	suggest	they	are	uncomfortable	acting	with	the	computer	generated	special	effects	.	they	also	seem	to	be	having	second	thoughts	about	their	involvement	with	this	clichd	and	unexciting	adventure	.	unfortunately	,	this	is	one	wing	commander	that	fails	to	take	off	!
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	jeepers	creepers	"	(	mgm	ua	entertainment	)	this	nasty	,	little	horror	film	begins	as	a	bickering	brother	(	justin	long	)	and	sister	(	gina	philips	)	are	driving	through	the	desolate	countryside	on	their	way	home	from	college	and	spy	a	man	dropping	wrapped	up	bodies	down	a	drainage	pipe	.	when	long	decides	to	investigate	,	there's	nothing	but	trouble	.	"	you	know	the	part	in	scary	movies	where	somebody	does	something	really	stupid	and	everybody	hates	them	for	it	?	well	,	this	is	it	!	"	philips	warns	.	what	he	finds	in	the	basement	of	an	old	,	abandoned	church	is	a	dying	boy	with	a	horrifying	,	jagged	stitched	incision	from	his	neck	to	his	navel	,	plus	hundreds	of	other	mutilated	bodies	,	stitched	together	on	the	walls	and	ceiling	like	a	disgusting	tapestry	.	long	flees	but	now	the	monstrous	,	winged	creeper	(	jonathan	breck	)	is	after	both	of	them	!	eileen	brennan	appears	briefly	as	the	cat	lady	and	patricia	belcher	is	jezelle	,	a	psychic	who	explains	the	evil	creature's	bizarre	feeding	habits	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	jeepers	creepers	"	is	a	fiendishly	visceral	2	with	an	extraordinarily	gruesome	conclusion	,	giving	new	meaning	to	the	old	song	"	jeepers	creepers	.	"	and	now	as	paul	harvey	would	say	for	the	rest	of	the	story	.	what's	more	scary	than	the	cruelty	of	the	satanic	film	itself	is	the	fact	that	writer	director	victor	salva	is	a	convicted	child	molester	who	videotaped	himself	having	oral	sex	with	a	12	year	old	actor	in	california	.	sentenced	to	three	years	in	prison	,	he	served	15	months	and	completed	parole	in	1992	.	when	salva	made	"	powder	"	(	1995	)	,	the	story	of	an	albino	boy	with	supernatural	abilities	,	disney	studio	executives	claimed	that	they	did	not	know	about	his	prior	conviction	as	a	pedophile	.	and	now	,	once	again	,	in	this	mgm	ua	film	,	that	fact	is	conspicuously	absent	from	his	press	kit	bio	.
neg	united	states	france	uk	,	1997	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	12	25	97	(	wide	)	running	length	:	1	:	40	mpaa	classification	:	r	(	violence	,	gore	,	profanity	,	nudity	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	1	.	85	:	1	cast	:	tom	everett	scott	,	julie	delpy	,	vince	vieluf	,	phil	buckman	,	julie	bowen	,	pierre	cosso	,	tom	novembre	,	thierry	lhermitte	director	:	anthony	waller	producer	:	richard	claus	screenplay	:	tim	burns	tom	stern	and	anthony	waller	cinematography	:	egon	werdin	music	:	wilbert	hirsch	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	hollywood	pictures	an	american	werewolf	in	paris	is	a	failed	attempt	to	recapture	the	humor	and	horror	of	john	landis'	1981	feature	,	an	american	werewolf	in	london	.	where	the	original	had	comedy	,	the	sequel	has	the	kind	of	revolting	silliness	that	can	be	found	in	tv	sit	coms	.	where	the	first	installment	had	chills	,	this	one	has	sequences	that	are	inappropriately	,	unintentionally	funny	.	in	short	,	while	an	american	werewolf	in	london	has	become	something	of	a	minor	classic	in	its	genre	,	the	woeful	an	american	werewolf	in	paris	seems	destined	for	late	nights	on	cinemax	(	it	even	has	the	necessary	gratuitous	nudity	)	.	the	film	opens	with	a	trio	of	daredevil	americans	andy	(	tom	everett	scott	)	,	brad	(	vince	vieluf	)	,	and	chris	(	phil	buckman	)	sneaking	up	to	the	top	of	the	eiffel	tower	to	drink	wine	and	do	a	little	bungee	jumping	.	soon	they	have	company	in	the	person	of	serafine	(	julie	delpy	)	,	who	has	decided	to	end	it	all	.	she	jumps	,	but	andy	,	with	a	bungee	cord	attached	,	goes	after	her	,	and	manages	to	save	her	(	at	the	price	of	a	major	headache	)	.	serafine	disappears	,	but	a	smitten	andy	seeks	her	out	.	however	,	once	he	learns	his	would	be	girlfriend's	dark	secret	,	he	wishes	he	hadn't	.	she's	a	werewolf	,	cursed	to	change	into	a	hideous	beast	when	the	moon	is	full	,	and	,	to	make	matters	worse	,	he	has	suffered	a	nasty	bite	himself	.	actress	julie	delpy	is	far	too	good	for	this	movie	.	she	imbues	serafine	with	spirit	,	spunk	,	and	humanity	,	which	gives	us	an	emotional	stake	in	the	character's	fate	.	this	isn't	necessarily	a	good	thing	,	since	it	prevents	us	from	relaxing	and	enjoying	an	american	werewolf	in	paris	as	a	completely	mindless	,	campy	entertainment	experience	.	delpy's	injection	of	class	into	an	otherwise	classless	production	raises	the	specter	of	what	this	film	could	have	been	with	a	better	script	and	a	better	cast	surrounding	her	.	delpy's	previous	credits	include	such	memorable	ventures	as	krzysztof	kieslowski's	white	and	richard	linklater's	before	sunrise	.	she	was	radiant	,	charismatic	,	and	effective	in	both	.	given	the	nature	and	level	of	the	material	she	has	to	work	with	here	,	she	gets	as	close	as	possible	to	those	adjectives	.	it	could	be	argued	that	delpy	is	the	only	reason	to	see	an	american	werewolf	in	paris	,	but	even	her	most	devoted	fans	should	consider	giving	this	one	a	miss	.	and	if	your	primary	objective	is	catching	a	glimpse	of	her	in	the	buff	,	check	out	either	killing	zoe	or	the	passion	of	beatrice	those	movies	have	intelligible	plots	in	addition	to	breasts	.	the	rest	of	the	cast	acts	at	a	level	considerably	below	that	of	delpy	which	is	to	say	,	they	give	performances	appropriate	for	the	screenplay	.	tom	everett	scott	(	that	thing	you	do	)	plays	the	lead	like	he's	in	a	made	for	tv	movie	.	it	would	be	kind	to	call	him	bland	.	actors	vince	vieluf	and	phil	buckman	,	as	andy's	friends	,	are	no	more	impressive	.	julie	bowen	(	happy	gilmore	)	is	suitably	fetching	as	werewolf	meat	.	and	respected	french	actor	thierry	lhermitte	has	a	brief	turn	as	another	monster	meal	.	on	the	technical	side	,	it's	all	bad	news	.	the	computer	generated	werewolves	look	painfully	unreal	.	the	creatures	would	probably	have	been	more	believable	had	they	been	men	in	wolf	suits	.	repeated	use	is	made	of	the	"	werewolf	cam	"	,	an	infrared	wolf's	point	of	view	approach	that's	interesting	the	first	couple	of	times	it's	employed	,	then	becomes	tedious	.	and	the	soundtrack	includes	some	alternative	grunge	rock	tunes	that	clash	violently	with	the	on	screen	action	they're	matched	to	.	director	anthony	waller	,	who	displayed	a	confident	,	edgy	style	in	mute	witness	,	stumbles	with	this	material	,	never	being	able	to	make	the	comedy	and	horror	elements	gel	.	as	a	result	,	we	get	the	worst	werewolf	sequel	since	the	howling	ii	:	your	sister	is	a	werewolf	.	(	i	will	give	waller	credit	for	killing	off	a	dog	,	though	something	that's	rarely	seen	in	movies	these	days	.	)	an	american	werewolf	in	paris	is	marginally	entertaining	in	a	"	bad	movie	"	sort	of	way	,	but	that's	a	dubious	distinction	.	ultimately	,	it's	an	unfortunate	effort	,	for	,	while	it	isn't	unbearable	to	sit	through	,	it	isn't	a	howl	,	either	.
neg	a	price	above	rubies	(	r	)	1	2	(	out	of	)	renee	zellweger	stars	as	sonia	,	a	young	jewish	wife	and	mother	frustrated	by	the	constraints	of	her	hasidic	community	in	brooklyn	.	her	husband	(	glenn	fitzgerald	)	is	a	religious	scholar	whose	all	in	a	day's	work	attitude	on	sex	fails	to	tame	the	"	fire	"	she	feels	within	,	as	so	she	confesses	to	the	rebbe	(	after	hearing	her	fiery	confession	,	the	rebbe	suddenly	gets	frisky	with	his	pleasantly	surprised	wife	and	dies	the	next	morning	)	.	sensing	her	frustration	,	her	husband's	brother	(	christopher	eccleston	)	gives	her	a	job	in	his	jewelry	brokering	business	in	exchange	for	raw	,	passionless	sex	that	just	fans	sonia's	still	burning	flame	.	on	the	job	,	sonia	befriends	ramon	(	allen	payne	)	,	a	cool	blast	of	hunky	puerto	rican	water	who	does	his	own	jewelry	designs	when	not	working	as	a	grunt	in	an	upscale	jewelry	store	.	can	fire	taming	be	far	be	that	far	behind	for	the	ever	smoldering	sonia	?	just	about	everything	in	writer	director	boaz	yakin's	rings	false	,	starting	with	the	improbably	cast	zellweger	,	who	does	an	adequate	enough	acting	job	but	simply	looks	too	waspy	for	the	role	.	a	better	fit	would	have	been	julianna	margulies	,	who	outshines	zellweger	as	sonia's	take	no	crap	sister	in	law	.	some	of	sonia's	baby	steps	toward	liberation	,	such	as	indulging	in	a	non	kosher	egg	roll	in	chinatown	,	come	off	as	silly	.	yakin	attempts	to	spice	up	the	proceedings	with	a	touch	of	magical	realism	in	the	form	of	the	recurring	presence	of	sonia's	long	dead	brother's	ghost	make	the	story	feel	even	more	trite	than	it	already	is	.
neg	bats'	is	an	insulting	slap	across	the	face	for	any	dedicated	horror	movie	fan	.	to	pull	something	like	this	off	,	you	need	to	have	a	sense	of	wit	and	style	,	with	a	heavy	dosage	of	humor	to	back	up	the	process	if	the	fright	factor	ever	declines	.	something	like	the	underground	worm	thriller	tremors'	had	just	the	perfect	mixture	of	these	elements	,	and	in	return	,	the	film	was	tremendous	fun	.	with	the	notable	exception	of	a	wisecracking	supporting	player	,	bats'	mainly	plays	it's	premise	for	straight	arrow	horror	.	judging	by	the	ridiculous	premise	,	this	was	not	exactly	a	wise	move	.	the	movie	attempts	to	capture	the	essence	of	alfred	hitchcock's	the	birds'	,	but	fails	miserably	.	done	right	,	it	could	have	been	adequately	amusing	halloween	cinema	.	unfortunately	,	bats'	is	a	prime	example	of	a	formula	movie	done	terribly	,	terribly	wrong	.	the	only	thing	amusing	about	this	festering	pile	of	guano	is	in	how	intelligible	the	filmmakers	anticipate	their	core	audience	to	be	.	i	will	recite	the	following	paragraph	in	a	manner	that	will	reach	the	audience	of	individuals	to	whom	bats'	is	aimed	toward	.	those	guys	in	hollywood	have	made	a	movie	about	bats	.	these	bats	are	not	very	nice	,	because	they	eat	a	lot	of	people	.	boy	,	are	these	bats	ugly	.	they	are	infected	with	this	bogus	virus	that	makes	them	super	duper	smart	.	they've	got	big	claws	and	red	eyes	and	they	are	not	very	friendly	at	all	.	a	whole	bunch	of	people	in	texas	get	killed	,	so	a	sheriff	guy	and	a	scientist	lady	are	brought	in	to	kill	the	bats	.	they	have	big	guns	and	other	cool	things	to	fight	them	with	,	but	the	bats	are	pretty	smart	,	so	it's	sorta	hard	to	do	.	the	bats	swoop	down	and	they	shoot	at	them	to	make	they	go	away	for	good	.	but	no	,	bats'	is	probably	too	violent	for	pre	schoolers	.	the	film	,	directed	by	louis	morneau	,	should	have	ventured	straight	into	video	stores	.	on	the	small	screen	,	perhaps	more	fun	could	have	been	derived	with	lower	expectations	.	but	sitting	through	this	crapper	on	the	big	screen	is	almost	awkward	;	although	at	a	few	moments	it	becomes	a	guilty	pleasure	,	the	film	is	poorly	written	,	poorly	acted	and	executed	with	glaring	ineptitude	.	even	the	bats	themselves	are	cheesy	,	and	the	attack	sequences	too	rushed	and	jittery	to	be	properly	enjoyed	.	the	sheriff	in	the	story	is	emmett	kimsey	(	lou	diamond	phillips	)	,	who	embodies	every	pathetic	stereotype	a	small	town	authority	figure	usually	portrays	(	he	chomps	on	a	cigar	,	struts	contentedly	in	his	boots	,	etc	.	.	.	)	.	the	scientist	is	dr	.	sheila	casper	(	dina	meyer	)	,	who	specializes	in	flying	mammals	and	is	classified	as	the	best	in	her	field'	.	meyer	uses	a	lot	of	technical	terms	designed	to	make	the	movie	seem	more	intellectually	capable	,	but	everything	about	dr	.	casper	is	recycled	beyond	recognition	.	her	memories	of	how	she	became	hooked	on	the	topic	of	bats	sounds	suspiciously	like	oceanographic	student	matt	hooper's	tale	of	how	he	became	infatuated	with	sharks	in	jaws'	.	everything	revolving	around	bats'	is	tired	drivel	,	which	desperately	requires	some	directorial	style	or	acting	capabilities	to	spruce	it	up	.	the	supporting	cast	could	have	been	constructed	out	of	straw	,	with	voices	dubbed	in	later	.	in	fact	,	that	may	have	worked	out	better	in	the	end	.	take	one	glance	at	casper's	bat	loathing	sidekick	jimmy	(	leon	)	,	and	you'll	have	immediate	deja	vu	he's	the	exact	same	humorous	buddy	caricature	from	every	other	movie	,	constructed	specifically	for	timed	comic	relief	.	unfortunately	,	none	of	his	comic	interludes	are	funny	.	in	the	role	of	deranged	mad	scientist	dr	.	mccabe	,	the	reliable	bob	gunton	gets	cornered	with	the	most	hideously	idiotic	character	in	the	bunch	.	mccabe	accidentally'	released	two	experimental	test	subjects	,	and	the	virus	spread	to	other	bats	.	the	entire	town	of	gallup	,	texas	is	under	attack	from	an	enormous	swarm	of	the	creatures	,	but	gunton	appears	to	be	inconspicuously	contemplating	something	else	.	something	like	:	when	is	the	damn	movie	going	to	be	over	?	?	i	just	want	my	money	.	'	the	bats	are	ugly	,	i	must	say	.	there's	the	occasional	moment	where	they	look	moderately	convincing	,	but	mainly	,	the	swarm	is	represented	in	cheesy	digital	imagery	.	only	bits	of	the	bloody	action	even	hint	at	the	campy	fun	the	film	could	have	been	,	but	by	the	absurdly	stupid	climax	,	it's	way	too	late	in	the	game	for	a	decent	recovery	.	characters	experiment	in	slaughtering	the	bats	with	gunfire	.	let's	explore	the	logic	there	:	is	this	really	a	very	efficient	way	to	decrease	the	bat	population	?	?	you	could	empty	an	entire	clip	at	the	flying	winged	serpents	and	not	even	wound	one	,	and	after	that	there	are	only	18	,	000	more	of	them	.	this	kind	of	behavior	represents	the	regular	level	of	intelligence	behind	bats'	.
neg	annie	wilson	(	cate	blanchett	)	,	a	widow	who	struggles	to	raise	her	children	in	a	small	town	in	georgia	is	asked	for	help	by	local	authorities	in	solving	the	case	of	a	missing	woman	.	annie	is	something	of	a	psychic	,	she	has	involuntary	bouts	with	the	supernatural	where	she	can	see	the	past	and	the	future	and	physically	feel	the	actions	happenning	to	her	she	envisions	.	her	"	gift	"	leads	to	the	arrest	of	a	nasty	wife	beater	who	may	or	may	not	have	killed	the	pretty	rich	girl	found	in	the	swamp	on	his	property	.	in	an	ultra	conservative	backwoods	town	will	her	testimony	based	on	her	psychic	visions	hold	up	in	court	?	do	they	even	have	the	right	man	?
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	two	can	play	that	game	"	(	screen	gems	)	since	the	success	of	"	waiting	to	exhale	,	"	there	have	been	several	romantic	comedies	about	african	american	professionals	.	this	female	revenge	fantasy	,	vivica	a	.	fox	plays	shante	smith	,	a	stunning	ad	exec	who	seems	to	have	reached	the	pinnacle	of	success	:	a	mansion	,	a	sporty	car	and	an	idyllic	relationship	with	a	hunky	,	hot	shot	lawyer	,	morris	chestnut	.	she's	at	a	point	in	her	life	when	she	dispenses	advice	to	her	grateful	girl	friends	(	mo'nique	,	wendy	racquel	robinson	,	tamala	jones	)	.	"	when	your	man	messes	up	,	no	matter	how	small	it	is	,	"	she	smugly	decrees	,	"	yuh	gots	to	punish	him	.	"	so	when	she	catches	her	hot	man	dancing	at	a	bar	with	a	smart	and	sexy	rival	,	gabrielle	union	,	she	devises	her	own	version	of	"	the	rules	,	"	a	10	day	"	tough	love	"	emotionally	punishing	plan	to	get	him	back	.	unfortunately	,	writer	director	mark	brown	(	"	how	to	be	a	player	"	)	breaks	the	cardinal	rule	of	romantic	comedy	:	you	have	to	like	the	protagonist	and	shrill	,	self	congratulatory	shante	smith	is	a	smirking	,	superficial	,	spiteful	shrew	who	doesn't	realize	that	rational	rules	cannot	always	be	applied	to	love	.	having	her	talk	directly	into	the	camera	gets	stale	very	quickly	and	the	"	day	one	,	"	"	day	two	"	title	card	device	underscores	the	tedium	.	comic	anthony	anderson	scores	as	chestnut's	boisterous	best	friend	,	and	singer	bobby	brown	does	a	cameo	as	a	scuzzy	mechanic	who's	given	a	smooth	makeover	by	ms	.	robinson	.	but	the	out	takes	over	the	closing	credits	contain	more	humor	than	the	film	itself	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	two	can	play	that	game	"	is	smarmy	if	slick	4	,	filled	with	misogynistic	attitude	and	blatant	product	placements	(	coca	cola	,	miller	genuine	draft	)	but	little	else	.	in	this	r	rated	(	for	explicit	sexual	language	)	,	pseudo	hip	battle	of	the	sexes	,	the	audience	loses	.
neg	the	word	unfilmable'	is	often	bandied	about	over	cult	classic	books	.	that	never	stops	people	from	filming	them	.	witness	the	english	patient	,	which	turned	out	to	be	filmable	after	all	.	and	then	there	was	fear	and	loathing	in	las	vegas	,	which	wasn't	.	but	maybe	unfilmable	is	the	wrong	word	.	breakfast	of	champions	might	have	proved	filmable	,	but	it	sure	isn't	watchable	.	this	,	of	course	,	saddens	me	greatly	.	kurt	vonnegut	is	my	favorite	author	ever	,	and	breakfast	of	champions	was	his	first	book	that	i	read	.	it	made	enough	of	an	impression	for	me	to	track	down	his	entire	oeuvre	,	which	i	have	devoured	.	this	film	just	shouldn't	have	been	made	,	sadly	.	take	cat's	cradle	(	his	second	best	work	)	next	time	that	ought	to	make	a	great	film	.	why	is	this	breakfast	so	bad	?	because	the	book	is	about	craziness	.	dwayne	hoover	(	willis	)	is	a	crazy	auto	salesman	,	married	to	a	crazy	wife	(	hershey	)	,	and	he	becomes	obsessed	with	a	crazy	sci	fi	writer	named	kilgore	trout	(	finney	)	.	trout's	sales	manager	(	nolte	)	is	also	a	crazy	guy	that	likes	to	dress	in	women's	lingerie	,	and	his	secretary	(	headley	)	isn't	all	together	.	oh	,	and	trout's	son	(	haas	)	wants	to	be	a	lounge	singer	named	bunny	.	what	made	the	book	so	good	is	that	you	can	go	inside	these	characters	,	heads	,	plus	vonnegut's	writing	style	is	so	nutty	that	it	all	actually	works	.	director	rudolph	tries	to	do	this	,	too	,	with	wacky	camera	angles	,	digital	effects	,	and	other	tricks	,	but	none	of	this	works	.	in	fact	,	it's	just	annoying	and	is	barely	entertaining	for	even	a	minute	.	a	couple	of	wisecracks	aside	,	this	breakfast	is	unedible	.
neg	'er'	.	wie	kent	deze	ziekenhuisserie	niet	?	het	hectische	leven	van	de	dokters	en	verpleegsters	wordt	in	deze	populaire	serie	goed	weergegeven	en	in	elke	aflevering	ligt	er	minimaal	n	persoon	op	sterven	.	door	het	kijken	naar	zo'n	situatie	stijgt	je	adrenaline	gehalte	naar	ongekende	hoogten	,	want	je	weet	nooit	zeker	of	hij	zij	het	haalt	.	"	desperate	measures	"	speelt	zich	voor	een	groot	gedeelte	ook	in	een	ziekenhuis	af	.	"	dat	moet	toch	wel	een	spannende	film	worden	!	"	zul	je	nu	denken	.	nou	nee	,	eigenlijk	niet	.	frank	connor	(	andy	garcia	)	leeft	in	moeilijke	tijden	.	z'n	zoontje	matthew	(	joseph	cross	)	heeft	een	gevaarlijk	vorm	van	kanker	en	de	enige	manier	om	de	kanker	te	verdrijven	is	het	transplanteren	van	beenmerg	.	er	is	maar	n	persoon	op	de	hele	aardkloot	die	hetzelfde	beenmerg	als	hem	heeft	en	dat	is	een	levensgevaarlijke	psychopaat	,	peter	mccabe	(	michael	keaton	)	.	mccabe	wil	wel	aan	de	operatie	meewerken	,	op	voorwaarde	dat	een	paar	wensen	van	hem	vervuld	worden	.	zo	gezegd	,	zo	gedaan	.	na	veel	moeite	ligt	mccabe	eindelijk	op	de	operatietafel	.	helaas	heeft	hij	van	tevoren	een	paar	maatregelen	genomen	en	dus	weet	hij	al	snel	te	ontsnappen	.	na	veel	personeel	gedood	te	hebben	,	probeert	mccabe	zo	snel	mogelijk	meester	te	worden	van	de	situatie	.	intussen	zit	connor	achter	hem	aan	,	maar	hij	mag	in	geen	geval	mccabe	dood	schieten	.	doet	hij	dat	wel	,	dan	verliest	het	beenmerg	z'n	werking	en	zal	z'n	zoon	sterven	aan	de	kanker	.	.	.	"	desperate	measures	"	is	zo'n	film	die	veelbelovend	klinkt	.	dat	'n	wanhopige	man	een	boef	achtervolgt	,	is	een	veel	gebruikt	idee	,	maar	dat	hij	hem	niet	mag	doden	,	is	een	interessante	twist	.	sterren	als	michael	keaton	en	andy	garcia	beloven	ook	veel	goeds	.	en	barbet	schroeder	is	ook	de	beroerdste	regisseur	niet	.	dat	klinken	dus	als	de	perfecte	ingredinten	om	een	goede	film	te	maken	.	helaas	wordt	alles	hopeloos	uitgewerkt	.	de	film	bestaat	voornamelijk	uit	lange	achtervolgingen	,	die	erg	saai	zijn	om	naar	te	kijken	.	hoe	groot	de	explosies	ook	mogen	zijn	en	hoe	dreigend	de	muziek	ook	mag	klinken	,	"	desperate	measures	"	wordt	nergens	spannend	of	boeiend	.	het	verhaal	is	na	een	kwartier	al	niet	meer	te	volgen	,	want	het	script	bevat	net	zoveel	gaten	als	de	gemiddelde	zwitserse	kaas	.	en	matthew	connor	,	gespeeld	door	joseph	cross	,	lijkt	met	z'n	bizarre	dialogen	een	abnormaal	intelligent	kind	.	echt	zo'n	'doogie	howser'	type	.	"	desperate	measures	"	is	dus	een	grote	teleurstelling	.	michael	keaton	weet	nog	wat	leven	in	z'n	rol	te	blazen	en	andy	garcia	is	ook	goed	op	dreef	,	maar	dat	de	film	zo	belachelijk	slecht	is	,	daar	kunnen	zelfs	deze	topacteurs	niks	aan	doen	.
neg	"	virus	"	is	the	type	of	cliched	,	vacuous	film	that	has	been	recylcled	so	many	times	before	that	you	wonder	why	anyone	would	even	bother	putting	work	into	making	it	.	strangely	enough	,	on	the	same	mid	january	weekend	last	year	,	another	film	was	released	like	this	,	"	deep	rising	,	"	about	an	ugly	monster	on	a	cruise	liner	.	prior	movies	with	the	almost	exact	same	storyline	include	1989's	"	leviathan	,	"	1989's	"	deep	star	six	,	"	and	all	four	"	alien	"	pictures	.	"	virus	,	"	in	comparison	,	is	a	servicable	thriller	,	well	made	and	produced	,	but	since	it	doesn't	include	one	moment	of	even	remote	originality	or	intelligence	,	it	sinks	under	the	weight	of	the	water	that	the	film	was	shot	on	.	based	on	a	series	of	comic	books	,	"	virus	"	concerns	the	crew	of	an	ocean	salvage	tugboat	,	which	becomes	extremely	damaged	during	a	violent	typhoon	.	after	discovering	that	the	boat	is	slowly	sinking	,	(	un	)	lucky	for	them	,	a	huge	ocean	vessel	that	appears	to	be	dead	in	the	water	turns	up	within	the	confines	of	their	radar	screen	.	once	the	team	reaches	the	russian	ship	,	they	go	on	board	to	find	that	the	place	is	seemingly	deserted	.	after	turning	the	power	back	on	,	however	,	there	gradually	are	signs	that	something	else	is	on	the	ship	,	and	the	electrical	equipment	is	oddly	working	by	itself	.	one	survivor	finally	does	turn	up	,	nadia	(	joanna	pacula	)	,	who	informs	the	suicidal	and	stern	captain	(	donald	sutherland	)	and	one	of	the	crew	,	kit	foster	(	jamie	lee	curtis	)	,	that	a	mysterious	alien	life	form	hit	the	santi	mir	space	station	which	then	was	transported	down	to	the	ship	,	taking	over	the	minds	of	all	of	the	electrical	machines	and	thinking	that	humans	are	viruses	that	should	be	completely	wiped	out	.	if	"	virus	"	sounds	like	all	of	the	previously	mentioned	movies	,	you're	correct	.	although	the	technical	artistry	is	fairly	impressive	to	bring	the	mechanical	creature	to	life	,	the	film	itself	doesn't	appear	to	have	a	brain	in	its	head	.	the	film	sticks	so	close	to	the	worn	out	conventions	of	the	"	creature	"	genre	that	it	is	amazing	anyone	would	spend	the	money	and	time	filming	it	when	they	could	be	making	an	original	film	.	the	actors	are	all	very	good	and	have	all	proven	their	acting	abilities	in	the	past	,	but	they	are	sorely	wasted	here	and	do	not	really	even	have	characters	to	play	.	in	her	second	return	to	horror	in	the	last	year	,	jamie	lee	curtis	once	again	proves	to	be	a	strong	and	resourceful	heroine	,	but	that	is	about	it	.	although	1998's	"	halloween	:	h20	"	was	also	a	disappointment	,	at	least	she	was	given	a	few	scenes	to	develop	a	character	,	unlike	here	.	donald	sutherland	has	fallen	on	hard	times	recently	by	starring	in	thoroughly	disposable	films	,	such	as	1994's	"	the	puppet	masters	,	"	although	i	just	watched	him	in	the	superb	1978	sci	fi	classic	"	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	,	"	where	he	was	fabulous	.	the	last	of	the	three	top	billers	is	william	baldwin	,	but	it	is	fairly	hard	to	say	if	he	is	good	or	not	in	the	picture	,	since	he	has	nothing	to	do	.	basically	,	"	virus	"	is	another	one	of	those	films	where	a	group	of	people	walk	around	and	investigate	a	space	ship	ocean	liner	haunted	house	until	the	deadly	and	equally	grotesque	and	slimy	creature	pops	up	and	kills	them	one	by	one	.	it	is	not	the	worst	of	its	type	,	but	it	is	far	from	one	of	the	best	,	and	when	exactly	are	studios	going	to	give	up	recycling	such	shameless	and	overdone	plot	gimmicks	such	as	this	?	as	long	as	some	of	them	keep	making	money	,	i	suspect	the	answer	is	never	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	adam	sandler	turns	up	the	charm	in	his	latest	romantic	comedy	,	the	wedding	singer	.	unfortunately	,	that	also	has	the	effect	of	softening	his	edge	.	he's	nowhere	near	his	peak	of	happy	gilmore	,	not	that	it	was	much	of	one	.	he's	certainly	not	helped	here	by	a	rather	frail	plot	.	the	year	is	1985	,	letting	the	whole	film	obsess	with	80s	nostalgia	.	adam	sandler	is	nice	guy	robbie	,	the	titular	wedding	singer	,	who	entertains	at	the	local	reception	hall	by	belting	out	his	interpretations	of	classic	80s	hits	.	robbie's	life	is	thrown	into	turmoil	when	his	fiancee	,	linda	(	angela	featherstone	)	,	leaves	him	at	the	altar	.	however	,	things	are	looking	up	when	he	meets	julia	(	drew	barrymore	)	,	a	waitress	at	the	hall	.	she's	the	perfect	woman	,	but	for	one	small	flaw	:	she's	engaged	to	be	married	to	a	slick	junk	bond	king	,	glenn	(	matthew	glave	)	.	so	,	most	of	the	film	deals	with	the	slow	realization	by	robbie	that	he	and	julia	are	in	love	,	and	his	attempts	to	stop	the	wedding	.	as	far	as	plots	go	,	it's	a	pretty	thin	and	tired	one	.	to	fill	the	gaps	,	the	wedding	singer	delivers	heaping	spoonfuls	of	1980s	nostalgia	.	from	boy	george	to	michael	jackson	,	from	miami	vice	to	dallas	,	from	the	first	cds	to	the	last	rubik's	cubes	,	this	film	revels	in	all	the	minutiae	.	and	then	there's	the	music	.	.	.	learning	a	lesson	from	the	successful	soundtracks	to	grosse	pointe	blank	,	and	romy	and	michele's	high	school	reunion	,	this	film	packs	more	80s	songs	in	the	film	than	the	running	time	will	allow	.	as	a	result	,	most	songs	get	maybe	a	lyric	or	a	half	,	but	you	can	almost	see	the	bright	gleam	in	the	record	executives'	eyes	:	the	wedding	singer	vols	.	2	,	3	,	and	4	!	while	the	nonstop	80s	riffs	get	incredibly	tiring	,	at	least	they	distract	you	from	the	plot	.	at	least	last	year's	my	best	friend's	wedding	stirred	up	the	standard	"	keep	your	true	love	from	marrying	someone	else	"	plot	by	making	the	rival	a	nice	person	.	here	,	glenn	is	such	a	lowly	rat	of	a	man	that	you	never	see	what	julia	saw	in	him	.	barrymore	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	simply	charming	as	julia	.	which	leaves	us	with	adam	sandler	.	he's	at	his	best	in	the	film	when	his	nice	guy	persona	fades	a	little	(	such	as	when	he	has	a	breakdown	on	stage	during	a	wedding	reception	)	.	when	he's	in	full	nice	guy	mode	,	he's	more	pathetic	than	endearing	.	the	film	boasts	several	cameos	(	most	notably	by	steve	buscemi	and	jon	lovitz	)	.	but	none	of	them	work	well	at	all	.	buscemi's	role	as	a	drunken	best	man	simply	fails	to	be	humorous	.	lovitz	,	on	the	other	hand	,	as	a	rival	wedding	singer	,	makes	you	long	for	his	good	old	days	on	saturday	night	live	,	where	he	was	actually	funny	.	the	only	cameo	which	has	some	appeal	is	a	guest	appearance	by	a	classic	80s	rocker	during	the	film's	finale	(	surprisingly	,	one	of	the	only	plot	related	scenes	which	actually	works	.	)	adam	sandler	still	has	some	work	to	do	before	he	can	become	a	dependable	leading	man	.	while	he	attempts	to	change	his	image	in	the	wedding	singer	,	the	end	result	is	no	net	gain	.
neg	director	:	dennis	dugan	cast	:	adam	sandler	,	cole	sprouse	,	dylan	sprouse	,	jon	stewart	,	leslie	mann	joey	lauren	adams	screenplay	:	steve	franks	,	tim	herlihy	,	adam	sandler	producers	:	sidney	ganis	,	jack	giarraputo	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	columbia	rated	pg	13	:	language	,	crude	humor	copyright	1999	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	adam	sandler	isn't	known	for	appearing	in	deep	,	thought	provoking	films	,	but	he's	still	a	really	funny	guy	.	most	of	his	movies	are	successful	not	because	of	the	film	making	behind	them	,	but	because	they	let	sandler	do	what	he	does	best	without	a	stupid	plot	to	drown	him	out	.	big	daddy	is	the	first	film	in	which	the	story	seems	more	important	than	sandler's	comic	performance	,	and	it's	a	miserable	failure	.	sandler	plays	a	thirty	something	loser	who	gets	attached	to	an	orphaned	young	boy	(	played	by	cole	and	dylan	sprouse	)	.	as	one	might	expect	from	the	synopsis	,	director	dennis	dugan	resorts	to	the	usual	bag	of	manipulative	and	sentimental	sequences	,	including	a	repulsive	courtroom	battle	and	a	lot	of	teary	scenes	in	which	characters	say	"	good	bye	"	to	one	another	;	in	addition	,	there's	a	ridiculous	amount	of	disgusting	toilet	humor	(	urine	and	vomit	both	get	more	screen	time	than	sandler	himself	)	.	there's	a	hilarious	running	joke	featuring	a	female	doctor	who	previously	worked	at	hooters	,	and	the	film	features	passable	performances	from	sandler	,	joey	lauren	adams	(	as	the	love	interest	)	,	and	the	two	young	boys	,	but	the	film	on	the	whole	is	trite	and	disappointingly	unfunny	.
neg	part	buddy	comedy	,	part	fish	out	of	water	story	,	part	nature	tale	,	meet	the	deedles	is	not	nearly	as	interesting	as	any	of	those	archetypes	.	in	fact	,	it	is	an	invitation	you	ought	to	disregard	.	phil	and	stew	deedle	(	paul	walker	and	steve	van	wormer	)	are	the	twin	sons	of	the	famous	millionaire	,	elton	deedle	(	eric	braeden	)	,	founder	of	deedle	enterprises	.	elton	wants	his	sons	to	be	the	perfect	heirs	to	his	fortune	.	.	.	instead	the	two	are	careless	hawaiian	surf	bums	.	to	set	them	straight	,	he	enrolls	them	into	a	strict	wyoming	boot	camp	,	to	which	the	pair	inevitably	go	.	after	several	misadventures	in	wyoming	,	where	the	duo	is	stunned	to	discover	there's	no	surf	,	the	brothers	deedle	stumble	upon	a	routine	mistaken	identity	plot	.	they	arrive	at	yellowstone	national	park	,	where	they	are	believed	to	be	two	new	park	ranger	recruits	.	rather	than	slinking	back	home	and	disappointing	their	dad	,	the	deedles	play	along	.	phil	,	actually	,	has	other	motives	:	the	beautiful	park	ranger	jesse	(	a	.	j	.	langer	)	,	who	unfortunately	happens	to	be	the	beloved	stepdaughter	of	the	overprotective	park	ranger	captain	douglas	pine	(	john	ashton	)	.	yellowstone	has	a	problem	.	it's	only	a	week	before	the	famous	geyser	old	faithful	celebrates	its	one	billionth	birthday	,	and	the	park	is	being	overrun	with	prairie	dogs	.	not	just	one	or	two	.	.	.	thousands	of	them	.	the	deedles	are	assigned	to	eliminate	the	p	.	dog	menace	,	not	knowing	that	it	all	is	part	of	a	fiendish	plan	by	disgraced	former	head	ranger	frank	slater	(	dennis	hopper	)	.	the	brothers	deedle	aren't	supposed	to	be	out	and	out	stupid	,	like	the	team	from	dumb	and	dumber	,	or	bill	and	ted	.	instead	,	their	brains	just	operate	in	a	different	,	simpler	,	realm	.	a	more	accurate	comparison	would	be	with	carrot	top	in	chairman	of	the	board	,	a	film	which	,	unfortunately	,	this	one	resembles	in	several	hideous	ways	.	the	central	problem	with	meet	the	deedles	is	that	it	simply	just	isn't	funny	.	there's	a	moment	when	phil	utters	the	line	,	"	insert	laugh	here	"	,	which	nearly	sums	up	the	entire	meet	the	deedles	experience	.	the	result	isn't	bad	in	a	run	shrieking	from	the	theater	type	of	way	.	instead	,	it's	merely	bad	in	an	excruciatingly	boring	sort	of	way	.	the	cast	seems	decent	,	but	they're	never	asked	to	do	anything	remotely	interesting	.	instead	,	the	film	inundates	the	audience	with	countless	shots	of	people	and	or	cars	rolling	downhill	in	the	forest	,	and	with	constant	annoying	references	to	other	disney	films	.	you'll	have	much	better	luck	finding	a	good	spot	to	surf	in	wyoming	than	finding	entertainment	in	meet	the	deedles	.
neg	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	where's	bob	barker	when	you	need	him	?	seeing	him	pound	adam	sandler	senseless	in	1996's	'happy	gilmore'	was	a	scream	(	because	this	guy	sucks	!	)	and	that	film	along	with	1996's	'bulletproof'	are	the	only	two	films	i've	enjoyed	seeing	the	amateur	comedian	in	,	but	just	mildly	.	'the	waterboy'	is	filled	with	enough	stereotyped	comedy	to	offend	everyone	and	while	most	people	are	expected	to	have	at	least	some	sense	of	humour	,	this	film	clearly	crosses	the	line	and	enough	is	enough	.	let's	see	,	we	are	to	believe	that	everyone	in	the	southern	united	states	is	a	redneck	,	a	bible	thumping	fanatic	who	thinks	everyone	and	everything	is	the	devil	,	that	they	all	are	incoherent	when	they	speak	,	that	they're	cross	eyed	or	just	plain	backwards	.	am	i	from	the	south	?	no	.	i'm	a	canadian	but	it	still	filled	me	with	a	sense	of	indignity	to	see	such	politically	incorrect	humour	taken	to	the	extreme	.	p	.	i	.	humour	is	fine	here	and	there	but	not	to	the	point	where	it	scars	your	equilibrium	so	you	can't	think	straight	after	the	film	is	over	.	in	'the	waterboy'	,	sandler	plays	a	31	year	old	water	boy	for	the	worst	college	team	in	louisiana	.	he	talks	with	a	lisp	,	and	an	unappealing	southern	accent	that	whines	.	sandler	is	no	meryl	streep	or	laurence	olivier	and	his	attempt	at	accenting	is	not	acceptable	nor	is	it	convincing	.	he	lives	with	his	mother	in	their	bayou	home	where	everything	is	decorated	for	the	classic	southern	stereotype	.	mama	(	kathy	bates	)	believes	that	girls	are	the	devil	and	even	has	her	pet	donkey	tied	up	in	the	living	room	and	it	drinks	from	the	toilet	and	hee	haws	at	will	.	i'm	glad	it	didn't	have	to	sit	through	this	movie	.	it	seems	that	dad	left	many	years	ago	and	sandler	and	his	mama	are	the	only	ones	at	home	.	the	players	tease	and	torment	sandler	as	the	water	boy	to	the	point	where	he	gets	himself	fired	by	the	redneck	coach	(	jerry	reed	)	.	sandler	gets	re	hired	by	another	school	football	coach	(	henry	winkler	)	to	be	the	team's	water	boy	and	after	experiencing	the	same	torment	from	the	players	the	same	as	in	his	last	job	,	sandler's	boiling	point	erupts	and	he	tackles	one	of	the	players	on	the	field	in	anger	and	devastates	him	.	the	coach	is	so	impressed	he	asks	sandler	to	play	on	the	team	as	a	linebacker	.	he	has	no	clue	how	to	play	ball	but	learns	the	hard	way	.	he	is	inspired	to	play	by	a	girl	he	always	fancied	(	fairuza	balk	)	,	a	woman	with	tattoos	and	a	criminal	record	who	mama	refers	to	as	the	.	.	.	.	.	well	,	you	know	.	sandler	clearly	wants	to	aim	his	meager	abilities	at	the	under	18	market	where	a	film	like	this	would	get	an	academy	award	if	they	had	their	way	.	just	as	in	'happy	gilmore'	when	sandler	discovered	he	had	a	hidden	athletic	ability	to	drive	a	golf	ball	400	yards	each	time	,	he	finds	here	that	he	has	a	hidden	athletic	ability	to	tackle	.	the	only	tackling	dummy	here	is	the	audience	as	we	get	our	intelligence	insulted	at	every	turn	and	to	be	fair	,	while	the	film	does	have	some	good	football	field	action	and	a	few	genuine	laughs	,	it's	shallow	stuff	at	best	.	director	frank	coraci	was	clearly	hired	to	supervise	the	editing	,	sound	and	other	technical	mixes	because	he	looks	about	as	capable	to	direct	a	movie	as	a	water	boy	on	the	set	of	a	movie	.	no	,	wait	,	that's	the	guy	that	gets	coffee	for	everyone	,	isn't	it	.	since	sandler	co	wrote	the	film	with	tim	herlihy	,	it's	clear	that	he	called	a	lot	of	the	film's	shots	as	the	film	is	similar	in	nature	to	other	films	bearing	sandler's	childish	humour	.	i'm	glad	'the	waterboy'	was	released	in	november	as	it	becomes	a	fresh	minded	candidate	for	one	of	the	worst	films	of	1998	.	by	the	way	adam	,	the	title	of	your	movie	,	just	so	you	can	learn	how	to	spell	,	is	actually	two	words	.	some	teenagers	i'm	sure	would	like	to	"	moon	"	me	for	this	review	but	i	would	consider	it	a	compliment	after	viewing	this	mess	of	a	movie	.
neg	year	:	2000	starring	angela	bassett	,	james	spader	,	peter	facinelli	,	lou	diamond	phillips	,	robin	tunney	,	wilson	cruz	,	robert	forster	written	by	william	malone	and	daniel	chuba	(	story	)	and	david	campbell	wilson	(	screenplay	)	directed	by	walter	hill	(	credited	as	thomas	lee	)	rated	r	if	i	were	one	of	those	arrogant	critics	who	thinks	his	review	has	some	great	impact	on	the	success	or	failure	of	certain	films	,	i	might	say	that	i	review	movies	that	don't	look	particularly	good	because	i'm	doing	a	service	to	my	readers	by	warning	them	against	seeing	it	.	if	that	were	true	,	i	could	put	a	banner	at	the	top	of	my	site	that	reads	:	"	shay	casey	:	seeing	bad	movies	so	you	don't	have	to	.	"	but	i	know	that's	bunk	you're	going	to	see	whatever	movies	you	want	to	no	matter	what	i	say	.	so	i	have	to	tell	the	truth	:	every	once	in	a	while	i	get	a	nasty	,	masochistic	urge	to	see	a	bad	movie	.	you	know	the	feeling	,	when	you're	sick	of	seeing	all	these	damn	academy	award	contenders	and	you	want	to	see	something	you	can	have	a	ball	trashing	mercilessly	.	sometimes	i	think	that's	why	anyone	goes	to	see	pauly	shore	movies	,	ever	.	admit	it	:	sometimes	you	like	seeing	bad	movies	.	so	do	i	.
neg	it	happens	every	year	the	days	get	longer	,	the	weather	gets	warmer	and	the	studios	start	releasing	their	big	budget	blockbusters	.	this	year's	crop	already	seems	inferior	to	that	of	past	summers	,	even	1997's	lackluster	trio	of	batman	robin	,	the	fifth	element	and	the	lost	world	.	the	marketing	blitz	in	1998	has	been	centered	on	godzilla	(	"	heeere	,	lee	zerd	,	lee	zerd	.	.	.	"	)	,	which	doesn't	make	me	optimistic	about	future	summers	.	godzilla	is	,	of	course	,	based	on	a	series	of	cult	movies	(	translation	:	really	bad	movies	only	a	few	people	can	tolerate	)	from	japan	that	turn	up	really	late	at	night	on	ted	turner	owned	cable	stations	.	that	this	big	budget	remake	won't	rise	above	its	roots	is	fairly	obvious	.	the	credits	show	us	the	origin	of	godzilla	.	in	five	words	:	nuclear	explosion	creates	giant	lizard	.	sounds	like	an	enquirer	headline	,	doesn't	it	?	the	mushroom	cloud	is	followed	by	the	inevitable	"	discovery	"	sequence	.	this	time	,	a	japanese	guy	is	eating	noodles	with	chopsticks	while	watching	sumo	wrestling	(	if	that	ain't	a	stereotype	.	.	.	)	when	he	discovers	the	telltale	radar	blip	.	people	die	.	cut	to	our	protagonist	,	played	by	matthew	broderick	.	he	makes	his	first	appearance	wearing	headphones	,	warbling	along	to	"	singin'	in	the	rain	.	"	it's	a	none	too	subtle	sign	that	he	wishes	he	were	in	a	classier	movie	.	no	dice	,	bueller	.	from	the	beginning	,	poor	matthew	has	to	do	embarassing	things	like	fondle	giant	earthworms	and	stand	in	godzilla's	enormous	footprint	.	every	disaster	movie	has	to	have	a	know	it	all	scientist	,	and	this	time	broderick	is	it	.	as	the	world's	leading	expert	on	radiated	earthworms	(	and	wouldn't	you	love	to	have	that	printed	on	your	business	card	?	)	,	broderick	is	invaluable	to	the	government	.	he	immediately	dispels	vicki	lewis'	theory	that	godzilla	is	a	dinosaur	because	,	hey	,	you	can't	take	seriously	the	intellectual	arguments	of	"	newsradio	"	cast	members	.	broderick	instead	hits	the	nail	on	the	head	,	announcing	godzilla	is	a	radiated	lizard	.	"	the	radiation	isn't	an	anamoly	,	"	he	announces	,	and	lightning	strikes	.	"	i	believe	this	is	a	mutated	abberation	,	"	he	continues	,	and	lightning	strikes	again	.	it's	vocabulary	lightning	,	you	see	,	activated	by	words	of	four	syllables	or	more	.	meanwhile	,	we're	introduced	to	our	new	york	cast	,	headed	by	an	ambitious	broadcast	journalist	(	maria	patillo	)	,	broderick's	former	love	.	gee	,	what	are	the	odds	their	paths	will	cross	again	at	a	dramatically	important	time	?	poor	patillo	has	been	trying	to	get	ahead	in	the	news	business	for	years	but	has	been	held	down	by	heartless	anchorman	harry	shearer	.	italian	cameraman	hank	azaria	tells	her	she's	not	ruthless	enough	:	"	nice	doesn't	get	you	anywhere	in	this	town	.	it's	dog	eat	dog	.	"	actually	,	it's	lizard	eat	city	,	as	godzilla	emerges	from	the	atlantic	to	begin	a	rampage	on	the	big	apple's	core	.	the	filmmakers	provide	us	with	a	one	note	drunk	fisherman	who	hooks	godzilla	.	"	i	think	i've	got	a	bite	,	"	he	announces	as	a	gigantic	tidal	wave	begins	rushing	toward	him	.	you	can	guess	what	happens	next	.	similar	reactions	spring	forth	as	the	monster	prowls	the	city	.	hearing	the	rumble	of	approaching	footsteps	,	one	new	yorker	remarks	,	"	please	don't	tell	me	that's	another	parade	.	"	please	don't	tell	me	that's	the	best	line	you	could	come	up	with	.	mayor	ebert	is	not	pleased	.	played	by	the	principal	from	"	head	of	the	class	,	"	he	continually	makes	the	wrong	decision	when	given	an	option	,	and	bickers	with	his	assistant	gene	.	i	guess	the	filmmakers	knew	they'd	be	getting	two	thumbs	down	from	the	critics	and	didn't	even	bother	to	kiss	ass	.	the	problem	is	,	if	you're	going	to	attack	siskel	and	ebert	,	you	should	at	least	make	it	funny	.	dialogue	like	,	"	didn't	we	agree	that	we	weren't	going	to	have	any	sweets	until	after	the	election	?	"	followed	by	,	"	back	off	,	gene	,	"	just	doesn't	work	for	me	.	other	lame	running	jokes	include	everyone	mispronouncing	the	broderick	character's	last	name	and	frenchman	jean	reno's	inability	to	find	a	good	cup	of	coffee	in	new	york	.	there's	even	more	fun	to	be	had	as	godzilla	progresses	.	as	the	beast	heads	back	into	hiding	,	broderick	suggests	the	military	lure	it	out	with	food	.	cue	twelve	dump	trucks	,	all	dropping	fish	into	a	new	york	intersection	.	(	broderick	:	that's	a	lot	of	fish	.	)	that	ambush	fails	,	but	broderick	soon	figures	out	why	godzilla	came	to	new	york	by	buying	50	worth	of	home	pregnancy	tests	and	running	lizard	blood	through	them	.	yep	,	godzilla's	with	children	,	which	makes	you	wonder	just	what	kind	of	creature	would	be	horny	enough	to	have	sex	with	godzilla	.	that's	until	broderick	explains	that	godzilla	reproduces	asexually	,	like	linda	tripp	.	godzilla	comes	to	us	from	the	makers	of	independence	day	,	so	it	has	a	lot	of	dumb	action	scenes	,	destructive	special	effects	and	shallow	subplots	.	look	no	further	than	patillo's	betrayal	of	broderick	(	patillo	:	what	have	i	done	,	animal	?	what	have	i	become	?	)	and	the	climactic	"	godzilla's	nest	"	sequence	in	madison	square	garden	.	the	main	difference	is	,	independence	day	was	about	the	experience	.	it	had	a	real	global	,	patriotic	element	to	it	,	and	some	genuinely	fun	characters	.	godzilla	has	lots	of	rain	and	lightning	,	reptilian	action	ripped	off	from	jurassic	park	and	endless	product	placement	from	the	likes	of	kodak	,	blockbuster	,	juicy	fruit	,	swatch	,	sprint	and	bumble	bee	tuna	.	yes	,	bumble	bee	actually	paid	to	be	known	as	the	official	tuna	of	godzilla	.	that	fact	alone	is	twice	as	interesting	as	anything	in	the	movie	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
neg	review	by	scott	hunt	visit	me	at	movie	hunt	a	href	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	a	)	cast	:	gary	dourdan	,	gretchen	palmer	,	kenya	moore	,	chrystale	wilson	,	bryce	wilson	,	soloman	k	.	smith	,	thom	byrd	director	:	rob	hardy	writer	:	rob	hardy	for	a	film	touted	as	exploring	relationships	and	black	sexuality	,	trois	is	surprisingly	tame	.	despite	it's	lurid	subject	matter	and	it's	passing	nod	to	fatal	attraction	,	it	moves	along	with	flat	,	uninspired	dialogue	as	it	sets	up	a	surprising	climax	that	tries	mightily	to	overthrow	the	considerable	dead	weight	of	the	rest	of	the	film	.	freshly	moved	to	atlanta	,	jermaine	(	dourdan	)	and	his	wife	,	jasmine	(	moore	)	,	have	the	trappings	of	a	perfect	life	.	they	have	a	beautiful	house	in	suburbia	.	jermaine	is	a	lawyer	on	the	fast	track	at	his	firm	.	jasmine	is	his	supportive	wife	,	who	is	finishing	up	her	college	degree	.	in	an	opening	montage	via	a	home	video	of	the	pair	,	we	see	the	unremarkable	story	of	their	marriage	and	early	marital	triumphs	.	this	is	a	couple	that	has	it	all	.	into	this	eden	slithers	the	lure	of	lust	.	despite	his	outward	appearance	,	jermaine	reveals	himself	as	selfish	and	covetous	of	his	wife	more	as	a	possession	than	a	person	.	a	glimmer	of	his	true	nature	peeks	out	during	an	early	sex	scene	with	his	wife	as	he	goes	about	his	business	,	oblivious	to	jasmine's	concerns	.	we	also	find	that	he	has	been	relentlessly	asking	jasmine	to	participate	in	a	menage	a	trois	,	much	to	jasmine's	dismay	.	as	jermaine	puts	it	,	"	don't	you	want	to	be	sexually	free	?	"	jermaine	shares	his	desire	with	co	worker	terrence	(	smith	)	,	who	obligingly	sets	jermaine	up	with	a	woman	who	might	be	interested	in	just	such	an	encounter	.	the	woman	,	jade	(	palmer	)	is	a	direct	counterpoint	to	jasmine	.	jade	,	at	one	point	was	a	college	student	,	too	.	unlike	jasmine	,	she	found	herself	pregnant	,	dropped	out	of	school	and	now	struggles	to	make	ends	meet	.	to	further	reinforce	their	differences	,	it's	revealed	that	jade	is	involved	in	a	custody	battle	over	her	son	.	inevitably	,	through	liquor	and	a	touch	of	duplicity	on	jermaine's	part	,	the	forbidden	act	is	consummated	.	the	aftermath	of	the	encounter	sidesteps	into	fatal	attraction	territory	as	acts	of	violence	are	perpetrated	upon	jermaine's	property	with	the	hint	that	the	violence	may	escalate	.	by	this	point	,	trois	shows	itself	to	be	a	soap	opera	without	the	requisite	melodrama	:	a	fatal	attraction	without	the	social	significance	.	the	exploration	of	relationships	is	strictly	superficial	and	stereotypical	.	jermaine	comes	off	as	insincere	,	sexually	driven	and	selfish	.	jasmine	is	bland	and	subservient	.	jade	comes	off	a	bit	sympathetically	,	but	that	is	negated	by	her	moral	bankruptcy	.	yet	another	tale	of	a	sexually	aggressive	"	dog	"	of	a	man	who	imposes	his	will	upon	his	accommodating	,	innocent	mate	.	the	last	10	minutes	will	undoubtly	throw	you	a	curve	,	but	by	this	point	,	will	you	even	care	?	if	the	rest	of	the	movie	was	as	dynamic	as	the	ending	,	perhaps	there	could	have	been	some	freshness	to	it	.	as	it	stands	,	trois	is	pretty	standard	fare	.
neg	the	beach	(	2000	)	directed	by	danny	boyle	;	written	by	johnhodge	,	based	on	the	book	by	alex	garland	.	photography	,	darius	khondji	.	editing	,	masahiro	hirakubo	.	production	design	,	andrew	mcalpine	.	music	,	angelo	badalamenti	.	produced	by	andrew	macdonald	.	cast	:	leonardo	dicaprio	(	richard	)	,	virginie	ledoyen	(	francoise	)	,	guillaume	canet	(	etienne	)	,	robert	carlyle	(	daffy	)	,	tilda	swinton	(	sal	)	,	paterson	joseph	(	keaty	)	.	a	20th	century	fox	release	.	120	minutes	.	r	(	drugs	,	sex	)	the	long	e	(	ea	)	as	in	beach	,	is	pronounced	by	many	native	speakers	of	other	languages	(	even	by	persons	who	speak	fine	english	)	in	such	a	short	manner	that	the	beach	becomes	the	bitch	.	leonardo	dicaprio	could	be	dicapriocorn	.	but	he's	the	darling	of	teens	,	which	fact	is	reinforced	by	audiences	getting	younger	and	younger	,	as	do	,	compared	to	many	earlier	decades	,	performers	on	the	screen	.	di	caprio	is	said	to	have	been	20	million	for	his	role	.	the	movie	,	made	by	the	scottish	team	that	gave	us	"	trainspotting	,	"	is	a	kind	of	perverse	swiss	family	robinson	,	all	the	more	swiss	given	the	holes	in	the	cheesy	script	.	generation	xer	richard	(	changed	from	the	book	to	an	american	)	is	yet	another	20	something	who's	searching	for	himself	,	in	thailand	.	bangkok	,	the	sex	for	sale	capital	of	the	world	,	attracts	some	(	otherwise	)	quite	respectable	adults	,	including	couples	,	including	persons	with	deep	pockets	.	it	also	attracts	many	among	the	young	,	the	dumb	,	and	the	druggies	.	it's	like	the	1960s	(	and	some	of	the	70s	)	.	hippies	experimented	with	substances	,	got	together	in	communes	,	did	all	sorts	of	non	conformist	things	.	except	that	when	millions	do	non	conformist	thing	they	ipso	facto	adopt	a	new	conformism	.	bangkok	is	(	as	shown	or	implied	here	)	a	dismal	center	of	vices	,	or	oddities	such	as	offering	tourists	to	drink	snake	blood	which	richard	does	.	even	more	dismal	is	the	seedy	(	that's	an	euphemism	)	flea	bag	hotel	he's	staying	in	.	there	he	is	approached	by	"	daffy	duck	,	"	who	seems	to	be	vaguely	british	,	is	stoned	out	of	his	head	,	befriends	richard	.	briefly	,	because	he	kills	himself	.	but	not	telling	richard	about	a	forbidden	island	not	in	the	tourist	guides	.	the	place	is	paradise	,	with	all	its	exquisite	beaches	,	technicolor	lagoons	and	stuff	,	and	with	enough	cannabis	growing	to	last	one	a	lifetime	.	returning	to	his	so	called	room	after	daffy's	suicide	,	richard	finds	on	the	door	a	handmade	map	of	paradise	.	he	will	go	there	,	of	course	.	and	he	asks	francoise	and	etienne	a	french	couple	next	door	(	he	hardly	knows	them	)	to	come	along	.	they	make	the	trip	.	but	not	before	richard	,	who	is	getting	dumber	and	dumber	,	slips	a	copy	of	the	map	under	the	door	of	two	other	generation	xers	.	(	don't	ask	)	.	i'll	skip	the	itinerary	.	by	going	to	a	legal	,	open	to	the	public	island	neighboring	their	destination	,	the	idiot	three	manage	to	swim	the	waters	leading	to	paradise	.	the	first	thing	they	see	is	an	immensity	of	cannabis	plants	.	the	second	is	a	bunch	of	sinister	,	heavily	armed	locals	,	whom	they	evade	.	next	stop	is	a	commune	of	perhaps	two	dozen	non	angels	.	they	live	or	so	they	think	an	idyllic	life	,	are	sort	of	self	sufficient	(	but	not	really	)	,	play	a	lot	,	do	soccer	,	cricket	,	smoke	dope	by	the	ton	,	tattoo	themselves	and	presumably	have	mucho	sex	.	but	there	are	no	scenes	of	copulation	.	and	rather	coyly	,	hardly	any	male	or	female	naked	bodies	(	where	it	matters	)	.	it	's	no	topless	french	riviera	.	absent	too	are	:	aids	,	pregnancies	,	doctors	,	dentists	,	condoms	,	you	name	it	.	from	the	air	(	don't	ask	)	the	island	looks	like	a	lamb	chop	.	i	don't	think	this	symbolizes	anything	.	newcomers	and	resident	aliens	are	all	constantly	dumfounded	by	the	scenic	beauty	of	the	place	.	there	is	even	a	waterfall	whose	top	comes	in	handy	for	a	butch	cassidy	mega	jump	.	they	commune	ists	have	made	a	deal	with	local	peasants	(	the	heavily	armed	guys	)	who	live	off	the	lucrative	sea	of	grass	:	the	foreigners	can	stay	,	but	never	,	never	add	new	people	to	the	commune	.	why	the	locals	have	settled	for	this	arrangement	makes	no	sense	.	the	commune	is	sort	of	led	by	a	gal	called	sal	.	not	particularly	pretty	,	thirty	something	,	therefore	older	than	the	other	womens	,	she	is	the	top	(	and	sole	)	authority	.	the	three	new	people	are	accepted	.	richard	and	francois	become	a	twosome	,	to	the	detriment	of	her	french	lover	etienne	.	richard	becomes	a	hero	for	battling	and	killing	a	shark	.	(	a	kill	joy	point	out	it	was	a	mere	baby	shark	)	.	he	makes	a	dumb	"	philosophical	"	speech	about	sharks	and	how	to	face	them	.	(	do	not	try	this	at	home	or	underwater	)	.	all	is	hunky	dory	,	except	that	bugs	(	note	the	cartoonishness	of	names	pure	infantilism	)	.	who	is	sal's	man	,	does	not	like	richard	who	in	turn	mistrusts	him	.	lisa	takes	off	for	one	her	periodical	trips	to	the	nearest	town	,	called	something	like	kopenyang	.	i	can't	remember	.	she	asks	for	richard	to	go	with	her	.	the	commune	people	order	all	sorts	of	things	,	from	vittels	to	body	oil	to	cigarettes	to	tampons	and	more	.	fact	is	too	that	the	town	is	full	of	sleazy	youths	of	all	sexes	,	from	the	west	(	or	the	east	,	if	you	think	of	america	)	who	are	carousing	,	dancing	,	making	out	,	drinking	and	doping	.	richard	calls	his	folks	,	at	home	.	where	does	the	shopping	money	come	from	?	never	mind	.	coincidence	!	it	goes	without	saying	that	you've	been	expecting	it	.	the	two	boys	for	whom	richard	left	a	copy	of	the	famous	map	are	there	,	with	two	girls	.	how	to	prevent	them	from	going	to	paradise	?	never	mind	.	richard	and	somewhat	spinsterish	looking	sal	have	sex	.	it	is	prudishly	shown	on	a	tent's	surface	like	chinese	shadows	.	here	comes	the	great	line	of	this	cinematic	masterpiece	.	sal	,	about	to	go	to	sleep	,	tells	richard	to	do	the	same	"	because	tomorrow	morning	i	may	want	some	more	sex	.	"	the	island	starts	becoming	paradise	lost	upon	ther	return	from	the	shopping	trip	.	francoise	smells	a	sexual	rat	(	r	s	)	,	is	not	pleased	.	richard	lies	.	someone	has	a	terrible	problem	with	a	tooth	.	(	or	perhaps	that	was	before	the	trip	?	)	two	or	three	men	are	attacked	by	sharks	.	a	survivor	,	horribly	mauled	,	disturbs	the	happy	family	with	his	cries	.	of	agony	.	so	they	put	him	in	distant	corner	of	the	beach	and	resume	their	fun	and	games	.	in	spite	of	abundant	christian	symbolism	(	prayers	,	crosses	,	etc	.	)	the	men	and	women	are	totally	self	centered	.	(	richard's	compassion	will	however	,	illustrate	his	humanity	.	after	all	,	he	is	leonardo	)	.	the	two	couples	with	the	map's	copy	camp	across	the	water	.	they	are	a	dangerous	no	no	.	sal	mercilessly	orders	richard	to	guard	the	beach	,	keep	an	eye	on	the	potential	intruders	,	keep	them	away	no	matter	at	what	cost	.	richard	,	alone	in	his	outpost	,	goes	bananas	,	hallucinates	,	eat	a	bug	,	has	visions	,	also	goes	native	a	la	kurtz	in	"	apocalypse	now	,	"	a	film	referred	to	more	than	once	.	but	he	is	a	sub	kurtz	.	the	four	kids	raft	over	.	the	farmers	with	automatic	weapons	take	care	of	them	.	oh	,	the	horror	,	the	horror	.	but	worry	not	.	an	exodus	from	paradise	finds	mr	.	dicaprio	alive	and	well	well	,	alive	anyway	and	ready	for	another	astronomic	paycheck	.	this	movie	about	post	hippie	retards	is	ludicrous	and	unpleasant	.	the	exotic	photography	is	fine	.	the	music	is	not	.	it	loads	on	generic	romantic	sounds	which	come	up	on	the	least	provocation	.	it's	like	the	experienced	person	who	gave	this	advice	to	a	new	director	:	"	whenever	you	don't	know	what	to	do	,	throw	in	the	hallelujah	chorus	from	handel's	"	the	messiah	.	"	"	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	film	reviews	are	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
neg	director	:	mark	robson	writers	:	george	fox	and	mario	puzo	starring	:	charlton	heston	,	ava	gardner	,	george	kennedy	,	genieveve	bujold	,	richard	roundtree	,	marjoe	gartner	,	lorne	green	,	victoria	principal	,	lloyd	nolan	,	barry	sullivan	,	john	richardson	,	donald	moffat	,	walter	matthau	i	looked	at	the	"	internet	movie	database	"	's	awards	section	for	this	film	,	and	found	that	this	was	nominated	for	a	golden	globe	for	"	best	picture	(	drama	)	.	"	anyone	who's	seen	this	film	can	back	me	up	on	this	:	this	is	the	worst	of	the	"	great	"	disaster	films	,	and	that's	not	really	saying	a	lot	for	this	film	.	"	earthquake	"	is	basically	notable	because	it	originally	included	some	theatre	thing	where	the	theatre	shook	when	the	big	earthquake	occured	.	on	video	,	it's	a	bland	and	slow	moving	film	which	gives	us	a	bunch	of	different	characters	(	the	disaster	film	requisite	)	,	then	brings	them	together	in	the	struggle	against	the	big	disaster	.	while	this	worked	in	,	say	,	"	the	towering	inferno	,	"	it	doesn't	here	for	one	single	reason	:	we	don't	care	about	any	of	the	characters	.	the	film	gives	us	charlton	heston	(	in	one	of	many	crap	70s	films	he	made	,	including	"	skyjacked	"	and	that	classic	,	"	soylent	green	"	)	as	a	rich	man	married	to	ava	gardner	,	who	is	having	a	little	affair	with	a	young	single	mom	(	genieveve	bujold	)	;	a	renegade	police	officer	on	suspension	(	george	kennedy	,	in	his	least	humored	performance	)	;	in	the	second	weirdest	subplot	,	a	motorcycle	stuntman	(	richard	roundtree	,	right	after	his	"	shaft	"	thing	)	whose	big	stunt	is	he	goes	on	a	little	track	that	goes	upside	down	(	yea	,	snore	)	;	and	the	weirdest	subplot	:	a	military	man	bag	boy	at	a	grocery	store	who	has	a	little	thing	for	buxom	victoria	principal	,	and	eventually	gets	vengeance	on	those	guys	who	made	fun	of	his	hair	(	!	!	!	)	.	in	smaller	subplots	,	there's	a	pointless	bit	about	people	who	are	flying	over	l	.	a	.	(	the	city	in	the	film	,	by	the	way	)	,	one	who's	playing	cards	and	married	to	a	boring	non	acting	husband	(	you	think	this	one	can	go	nowhere	?	guess	again	.	he	gets	interested	in	the	final	frames	)	;	there's	genieveve	bujold's	moron	son	,	who	has	a	little	adventure	with	wires	;	and	for	some	much	needed	comedy	,	there's	walter	matthau	(	billed	as	walter	mutha	.	.	.	.	the	only	laugh	in	the	film	)	,	as	a	wild	drunkard	,	who's	big	moment	is	a	dance	he	does	at	a	critical	time	.	as	for	the	actual	"	earthquake	,	"	it's	rather	a	let	down	.	there's	a	full	hour	of	character	setups	,	none	of	which	is	interesting	,	then	about	10	minutes	of	shaking	,	crumbling	,	and	a	bit	where	a	house	almost	falls	on	bujold	(	narrowly	missing	)	.	this	film	needed	that	whole	theatre	shaking	:	they	needed	to	wake	everybody	up	because	they	were	so	bored	.	there's	little	suspense	following	the	quake	,	although	this	film	tries	for	it	.	there's	an	adventure	in	a	crumbling	high	rise	office	building	,	the	wires	with	the	kid	,	and	the	movement	of	people	who	are	all	injured	.	but	none	of	these	are	all	too	suspenseful	.	the	finale	with	the	heston	gardner	bujold	love	triangle	is	ended	in	a	basic	flip	of	the	coin	bit	,	which	brings	out	a	big	let	down	.	and	there's	no	real	finale	.	even	"	volcano	"	ended	nicely	,	and	that	movie	really	sucked	.	not	only	is	it	hokey	,	but	you	don't	care	about	any	character	.	who	cares	if	heston	dies	?	who	cares	if	he	choses	bujold	or	gardner	(	although	i	would	have	chosen	gardner	,	mainly	on	the	basis	that	she	can	actually	act	)	?	who	cares	if	richard	roundtree	makes	money	on	his	stupid	"	stunt	?	"	who	cares	if	that	idiot	kid	falls	to	his	death	on	some	wires	?	and	who	cares	about	that	whole	plane	spiel	?	if	anything	,	"	earthquake	"	is	worth	a	viewing	for	the	same	reason	"	glen	or	glenda	?	"	is	.	i	mean	,	i	laughed	at	this	more	than	i	did	at	"	bio	dome	.	"	but	that's	another	story	(	and	review	)	.	in	short	,	"	earthquake	"	gives	disaster	pics	a	bad	name	.
neg	dead	bang	,	an	action	thriller	starring	don	johnson	,	lives	up	to	its	dumb	title	,	or	at	least	to	half	of	it	.	although	dead	bang	is	definitely	dead	,	it	is	anything	but	a	bang	;	in	fact	,	they	should	have	called	this	one	"	dead	bore	.	"	in	the	film	,	johnson	plays	.	.	.	you	guessed	it	.	.	.	a	cop	.	the	role	must	have	been	really	challenging	for	johnson	since	his	character	,	jerry	beck	,	is	a	gritty	los	angeles	homicide	detective	,	a	real	stretch	from	the	slick	vice	detective	johnson	portrayed	on	"	miami	vice	.	"	a	la	mel	gibson	in	lethal	weapon	,	beck	is	an	emotional	wreck	,	complete	with	violent	outbursts	,	unscrupulous	police	methods	,	and	a	bleak	outlook	on	life	.	beck's	wife	has	just	divorced	him	,	and	she	is	cutting	him	off	from	their	children	.	she	will	not	even	allow	him	to	wish	them	"	merry	christmas	"	by	telephone	.	but	beck's	family	and	emotional	problems	take	a	back	seat	to	the	action	and	thrills	in	dead	bang	.	beck	is	investigating	the	brutal	murders	of	a	shopkeeper	and	a	cop	.	his	investigation	starts	in	l	.	a	.	and	finally	culminates	and	climaxes	in	oklahoma	,	where	he	has	a	violent	showdown	with	the	killers	at	a	white	supremacist	camp	.	virtually	every	aspect	of	dead	bang	is	inept	and	ineffective	.	the	plot	is	incoherent	and	full	of	holes	.	the	movie	depicts	beck's	investigation	so	clumsily	that	you	never	see	the	connections	between	his	clues	and	his	conclusions	.	the	action	sequences	in	dead	bang	are	strictly	third	rate	,	and	the	movie	has	absolutely	no	momentum	or	suspense	.	i	certainly	expected	more	from	long	time	director	john	frankenheimer	who	directed	the	classic	political	thriller	,	the	manchurian	candidate	as	well	as	black	sunday	,	seven	days	in	may	,	and	the	french	connection	ii	.	in	all	fairness	to	frankenheimer	,	however	,	i	should	note	that	most	of	dead	bang's	shortcomings	seem	to	stem	from	its	shabby	script	rather	than	from	the	direction	.	dead	bang	tries	to	don	a	mask	of	social	relevance	by	incorporating	themes	of	racism	and	white	supremacy	,	but	its	efforts	are	nothing	more	than	token	gestures	and	nothing	less	than	insulting	.	according	to	the	movie's	production	notes	,	dead	bang	is	based	on	the	real	life	experiences	of	still	active	detective	jerry	beck	.	you	would	never	guess	this	from	watching	dead	bang	,	however	,	since	the	film	totally	lacks	credibility	;	it	is	utterly	unconvincing	and	unbelievable	.	most	of	the	characters	in	dead	bang	are	either	atrociously	acted	,	underdeveloped	,	superfluous	,	or	all	of	the	above	.	william	forsythe	,	for	example	,	is	painfully	bad	as	arthur	kressler	,	a	wholesome	by	the	book	fbi	agent	who's	offended	by	beck's	foul	language	and	unorthodox	methods	.	forsythe's	lame	performance	and	corny	dialogue	makes	his	character	unbearable	.	dead	bang	marks	the	motion	picture	debut	of	tim	reid	(	"	wkrp	in	cincinnati	"	and	"	frank's	place	"	)	,	but	his	talents	are	completely	wasted	in	a	cliched	and	contrived	role	;	he	plays	the	chief	officer	of	a	squadron	of	black	cops	who	help	beck	to	nail	the	villains	.	the	sole	function	of	penelope	ann	miller's	character	is	to	give	dead	bang	an	excuse	to	include	a	gratuitous	love	scene	between	characters	about	whom	you	could	not	care	less	.	i	guess	the	film's	title	refers	to	this	love	scene	since	it's	definitely	a	dead	bang	.	the	only	real	virtue	of	dead	bang	,	believe	it	or	not	,	is	don	johnson	,	who	tries	to	overcome	the	limitations	of	the	movie's	pitiful	script	.	johnson	succeeds	in	giving	his	character	a	sarcastic	sense	of	humor	and	a	hint	of	depth	,	and	his	pessimistic	wisecracks	occasionally	bring	the	film	to	life	.	and	i	must	admit	that	dead	bang	does	have	one	or	two	amusing	moments	.	the	funniest	scene	has	johnson	throwing	up	all	over	a	criminal	as	he	interrogates	him	.	but	when	barf	is	the	highlight	of	a	movie	,	you	know	the	movie's	in	trouble	.	the	other	amusing	scene	involves	a	psychological	examination	of	beck	,	in	which	he	can't	keep	a	straight	face	because	the	psychiatrist	resembles	woody	allen	.	but	two	funny	scenes	and	a	couple	good	wisecracks	do	not	a	movie	make	.
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	columbia	tristar	on	may	12	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	95	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	diane	keaton	;	produced	by	nora	ephron	,	laurence	mark	.	written	by	delia	ephron	,	nora	ephron	;	based	on	the	book	by	delia	ephron	.	photographed	by	howard	atherton	;	edited	by	julie	monroe	.	"	hanging	up	"	is	not	the	worst	movie	i	have	ever	seen	,	but	it	is	the	only	one	i	can	think	of	that	made	me	want	to	pull	out	a	gun	and	start	shooting	at	the	images	onscreen	.	it's	a	horrible	experience	,	as	if	somebody	had	discovered	my	pet	peeves	and	decided	to	devote	a	whole	film	to	winding	me	up	.	although	i	own	a	cellphone	and	am	acquainted	with	whiny	women	,	they	are	both	things	i	detest	,	and	for	emergencies	only	.	watching	them	for	95	minutes	is	not	my	idea	of	a	good	time	.	the	film	is	supposed	to	be	the	story	of	a	man's	family	reacting	to	his	descent	into	death	.	it's	actually	just	an	irritating	bunch	of	phone	conversations	between	three	witless	sisters	,	who	might	actually	develop	personalities	if	they	cancelled	their	at	t	subscriptions	and	lived	in	the	real	world	.	meg	ryan	plays	eve	,	the	one	who	stays	by	her	father's	hospital	bed	,	deals	with	his	eruptions	of	dementia	,	and	calls	up	everyone	else	,	trying	to	get	them	to	visit	him	.	maddy	(	lisa	kudrow	)	,	the	youngest	sibling	,	is	an	insecure	little	tramp	who	complains	that	nobody	will	take	her	seriously	;	she	doesn't	think	it	odd	that	at	age	29	she	was	still	dreaming	of	becoming	a	rock	star	,	and	in	her	mid	30s	she	expects	she's	going	to	be	an	actress	.	georgia	(	diane	keaton	)	,	the	eldest	,	is	smarmy	,	dishonest	and	lies	about	her	personal	life	when	it	will	bring	her	gain	.	so	much	of	"	hanging	up	"	takes	place	on	the	phone	,	with	the	annoying	trio	barking	insipid	platitudes	down	receivers	,	that	when	i	left	the	cinema	my	ears	were	still	ringing	from	clicks	,	beeps	and	dial	tones	.	perhaps	this	movie	was	inevitable	,	such	is	contemporary	society's	obsession	with	telecommunication	.	delia	and	nora	ephron	,	who	wrote	the	screenplay	,	and	diane	keaton	,	the	director	,	seem	to	think	this	presentation	of	people	is	normal	,	and	that's	rather	sad	.	worse	is	the	grating	nature	of	the	performances	.	keaton	plays	her	detestable	character	with	the	kind	of	glee	that	shoves	right	into	our	faces	and	makes	us	want	to	scream	.	ryan	is	unconvincing	,	because	she	uses	the	same	disorganised	comic	presence	as	in	"	when	harry	met	sally	"	and	"	joe	versus	the	volcano	"	,	and	expects	it	to	work	when	her	character	is	supposed	to	be	a	cornerstone	of	emotional	stability	.	as	for	lisa	kudrow	,	well	,	she's	a	joke	,	who	exudes	stupidity	from	all	of	her	phoney	body	,	dead	eyes	,	and	flat	,	sarcastic	whimper	of	a	voice	.	you	know	when	you're	on	a	crowded	train	,	and	you're	wedged	into	the	window	seat	when	three	other	people	need	to	sit	in	the	same	booth	as	you	?	"	hanging	up	"	is	a	lot	like	that	,	as	long	as	the	three	people	are	vapid	yuppie	bitches	whining	and	crying	about	their	boyfriends	and	families	into	mobile	telephones	that	play	a	little	tune	when	they	ring	.	this	is	a	film	that	could	get	gandhi's	blood	boiling	.	if	it	becomes	your	wife's	favourite	video	,	no	sane	jury	will	convict	you	of	domestic	abuse	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	the	premise	of	turbulence	is	i'm	sure	very	familiar	to	us	all	.	we've	seen	it	before	in	passenger	57	,	executive	decision	,	and	countless	other	flicks	that	are	good	in	there	own	way	.	you	know	,	terrorists	take	over	a	plane	,	ask	the	police	on	the	ground	for	what	they	what	and	so	on	.	turbulence	starts	out	with	a	"	convict	"	ray	liotta	being	accused	of	a	crime	.	you	think	there	is	no	way	he	could	have	done	it	,	he's	so	open	and	kind	.	he	is	taken	in	and	is	subsequently	transported	on	a	commerical	plane	to	la	.	this	is	already	a	problem	.	there	is	no	way	that	convicts	would	be	transported	on	the	same	commercial	flight	that	normal	passangers	would	be	on	.	anyway	,	it	is	christmas	eve	and	everyone	is	waiting	to	get	to	la	and	spend	christmas	eve	there	.	well	,	convict	one	manages	to	stop	the	flight	in	its	proverbial	"	tracks	"	and	liotta	,	still	as	calm	as	ever	,	takes	the	other	convict	out	.	he	also	has	eyes	for	lauren	holly	,	a	flight	attendent	,	and	seems	to	grow	closer	to	her	.
neg	1	2	(	out	of	4	)	note	:	this	review	contains	one	or	two	of	those	words	some	people	get	upset	over	.	read	at	your	own	risk	.	except	for	a	few	bright	moments	of	good	verbal	comedy	,	that	old	feeling	is	embarrassing	to	sit	through	.	bette	midler	and	dennis	farina	play	lilly	and	dan	,	actress	and	author	,	once	married	,	now	violently	divorced	,	and	back	together	one	last	time	for	their	daughter	molly's	(	paula	marshall	)	wedding	.	lilly	and	dan	hate	each	other	passionately	so	passionately	that	they	have	sex	at	the	wedding	and	fall	in	love	again	.	each	ditches	his	or	her	current	spouse	of	14	years	and	runs	off	with	the	other	.	molly	,	married	now	only	24	hours	,	runs	off	in	search	of	her	irresponsible	parents	while	her	husband	keith	(	jamie	denton	)	tries	to	console	the	abandoned	spouses	.	in	molly's	search	for	her	parents	,	she	somehow	falls	in	love	with	lilly's	paparazzo	joey	(	danny	nucci	)	.	meanwhile	,	the	newlywed	keith	ends	up	consoling	dan's	wife	rowena	(	gail	o'grady	)	in	bed	.	the	audience	i	saw	this	with	apparently	thought	that	all	the	adultery	was	hilarious	.	i'm	no	dan	quayle	,	but	i	thought	it	was	a	bit	creepy	.	the	message	seemed	to	be	"	ignore	your	responsibilities	unrepentantly	and	have	fun	fucking	who	you	wish	.	"	"	family	values	"	aside	,	there's	something	cruel	about	all	this	.	perhaps	this	movie	would	have	played	well	as	a	black	comedy	,	but	the	movie	is	a	romantic	comedy	.	we	are	supposed	to	be	rooting	for	these	creeps	.	reiner	and	screenwriter	leslie	dixon	tried	to	make	it	easier	on	us	by	making	the	victims	unlikeable	.	lilly's	husband	is	a	new	age	flake	who	rambles	about	"	emotional	valet	parking	,	"	so	we	can	write	him	off	as	irrelevant	.	dan's	wife	is	vain	,	manipulative	,	and	jealous	so	we	can	write	her	off	as	a	bitch	.	molly's	husband	is	a	career	conscious	,	self	centered	republican	politician	who	thinks	she's	too	fat	(	and	just	for	good	measure	,	he	also	fucked	dan's	wife	)	,	so	we	can	write	him	off	as	a	prick	.	everyone	else	falls	in	love	.	but	still	,	that	somehow	doesn't	justify	the	actions	of	the	movie's	main	characters	.	"	he's	a	prick	"	or	"	she's	a	bitch	"	is	no	defense	.	the	movie	is	somewhat	redeemed	by	some	funny	dialog	often	during	heated	arguments	and	by	above	average	performances	by	midler	and	farina	(	breaking	out	of	his	character	actor	mold	)	.	other	than	that	,	it's	a	standard	romantic	comedy	with	a	very	substandard	gimmick	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
neg	lara	croft	:	tomb	raider	(	2001	)	angelina	jolie	,	daniel	craig	,	iain	glen	,	chris	barrie	,	noah	taylor	,	jon	voight	.	screenplay	by	patrick	massett	john	zinman	.	directed	by	simon	west	.	98	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	1	.	5	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	at	the	end	of	an	action	scene	in	"	lara	croft	:	tomb	raider	,	"	a	wall	collapses	near	the	nubile	warrior	.	with	her	face	on	the	floor	,	she	gazes	into	the	rubble	,	then	grins	abruptly	and	says	"	oh	,	my	car	keys	!	"	i	mention	this	scene	because	it	was	the	only	moment	in	the	whole	damned	production	that	made	me	smile	.	based	on	an	incredibly	popular	video	game	,	"	lara	croft	:	tomb	raider	"	is	a	lousy	movie	.	the	structure	goes	like	this	:	poorly	staged	action	sequence	,	boring	exposition	,	poorly	staged	action	sequence	,	boring	exposition	,	etc	.	etc	.	,	the	end	.	basically	,	the	film	exists	to	showcase	angelina	jolie's	puffy	lips	and	enhanced	tits	.	close	ups	are	framed	oh	so	carefully	to	include	her	million	dollar	bazooms	.	running	scenes	highlight	her	bouncing	breasts	in	vintage	"	baywatch	"	fashion	.	there's	even	include	a	shower	scene	that	offers	a	brief	side	view	of	them	.	but	the	filmmakers	are	so	inept	they	can't	even	flash	the	audience	correctly	.	the	one	extended	display	of	nudity	is	of	get	ready	for	this	a	guy	.	for	no	particular	reason	,	a	muscular	supporting	character	strolls	around	naked	for	about	30	seconds	,	with	each	shot	composed	to	barely	cover	his	package	,	la	"	austin	powers	.	"	now	,	i	enjoy	a	good	looking	male	body	as	much	as	the	next	gay	guy	,	but	what	the	hell	is	beefcake	doing	in	a	t	a	flick	aimed	at	heterosexual	males	?	of	course	,	what	else	should	one	expect	in	a	film	that	does	virtually	nothing	right	?	"	tomb	raider	"	sets	up	elaborate	action	set	pieces	,	then	renders	them	incomprehensible	with	needless	jump	cut	editing	(	a	promising	dual	bungee	cord	battle	is	ruined	by	excessive	cuts	)	.	it	promises	a	series	of	exotic	locales	,	then	delivers	cavernous	sets	and	grimy	matte	paintings	with	smoggy	skies	.	throw	in	some	bargain	basement	computer	graphics	and	you	end	up	with	the	ugliest	movie	to	come	down	the	pike	in	many	moons	.	intended	to	be	a	rousing	"	indiana	jones	"	style	adventure	,	"	tomb	raider	"	lacks	any	sense	of	tension	.	the	low	point	comes	when	lara	is	"	threatened	"	by	statues	of	monkey	warriors	and	a	giant	multi	armed	shiva	figure	that	come	to	life	courtesy	of	cgi	.	easily	the	lamest	menaces	i	have	ever	seen	,	the	creatures	move	like	snails	and	fall	apart	with	a	single	shot	from	a	gun	.	if	you	ever	have	to	be	chased	by	monsters	,	pray	that	you	get	the	monkey	warriors	.	"	tomb	raider	"	tells	a	story	,	sort	of	.	once	every	5	,	000	years	,	the	planets	align	.	a	group	of	very	bad	men	are	out	to	find	two	halves	of	an	object	that	,	if	reassembled	just	as	the	planets	align	,	will	give	them	control	over	time	itself	.	lara's	goal	is	to	stop	them	and	rescue	her	long	missing	poppa	(	jon	voight	,	jolie's	real	life	dad	)	.	none	of	this	matters	though	,	because	stunning	gaps	in	internal	logic	assure	that	the	plot	of	"	lara	croft	:	tomb	raider	"	is	as	lame	as	ever	other	aspect	of	the	film	except	angelina	jolie's	lips	and	breasts	.
neg	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	a	new	address	.	same	old	attitude	.	don't	forget	to	recommend	a	film	,	read	the	journal	,	or	send	me	some	of	that	nasty	hate	mail	.	)	it	rocks	actually	,	lots	of	rocks	fly	at	us	or	from	us	,	in	slow	or	fast	motion	,	at	several	points	in	the	film	.	they	seem	like	dangerous	rocks	because	they	kind	of	twirl	through	the	air	instead	of	just	propelling	forward	,	and	when	they	land	once	in	a	while	,	when	we	need	a	break	from	the	space	sequences	they	cause	damage	enough	to	destroy	the	chrysler	building	and	the	like	.	(	nary	a	mention	of	these	apocalyptic	events	is	made	after	they	occur	.	)	they	also	just	might	be	the	most	interesting	element	of	armageddon	,	a	steroid	user's	answer	to	deep	impact	.	bruce	willis	stars	as	harry	stamper	,	a	famed	oil	driller	commissioned	by	the	white	house	and	nasa	to	stop	a	giant	asteroid	before	it	travels	beyond	"	zero	barrier	"	and	destroys	our	planet	.	why	an	oil	driller	?	they	require	someone	experienced	with	deep	core	mining	to	plant	a	nuclear	missile	into	said	asteroid	.	(	in	one	unintentionally	(	?	)	hilarious	sequence	,	nasa	asks	harry	to	inspect	a	deep	core	driller	they	built	based	on	his	own	blueprints	;	it	is	poorly	constructed	harry	criticizes	almost	every	aspect	of	it	.	we	trust	nasa	to	build	space	shuttles	that	can	land	on	twirling	asteroids	?	)	harry	assembles	the	obligatory	"	ragtag	"	bunch	of	"	cowboys	"	,	including	a	blond	guy	,	a	fat	guy	,	a	black	guy	,	a	wiseass	,	and	the	man	who	is	sleeping	with	his	daughter	(	affleck	)	.	once	they	reach	space	,	we	experience	sequence	after	sequence	of	something	going	wrong	perhaps	the	fact	that	they	sent	a	bunch	of	nincompoops	into	outer	space	has	something	to	do	with	it	;	i	cannot	count	the	number	of	times	they	almost	fail	the	mission	on	all	my	fingers	and	toes	.	whether	or	not	they	save	the	day	,	i	will	not	reveal	.	nor	will	you	care	.	i	will	say	this	:	you	know	you're	in	trouble	when	deep	impact	dwarfs	your	asteroid	movie	in	terms	of	emotion	and	scope	.	willis	has	barely	a	chance	to	come	alive	;	ditto	for	affleck	.	their	big	scenes	are	mostly	reserved	for	the	third	act	,	in	a	last	minute	and	futile	attempt	to	inject	warmth	into	the	material	.	steve	buscemi's	character	the	wiseass	is	exceptionally	problematic	.	"	rockhound	"	,	as	he's	called	,	is	sarcastic	and	foolish	,	so	they	tape	him	to	a	chair	,	where	he	spends	most	of	the	film	.	so	why	did	they	bring	him	up	there	to	begin	with	?	rather	,	why	write	him	into	the	film	?	give	his	almost	witty	one	liners	to	serious	willis	,	who	scowls	and	mopes	and	demonstrates	psychotic	tendencies	:	at	one	point	he	chases	after	affleck	with	his	shotgun	for	screwing	his	daughter	,	firing	often	and	causing	significant	damage	to	his	oil	rig	.	i'm	guessing	he	qualifies	under	nasa	guidelines	as	someone	unfit	for	space	travel	,	at	least	in	my	world	where	the	sky	is	blue	.	liv	tyler	is	pretty	and	humourless	,	as	always	;	suspiciously	,	four	of	her	father's	band's	(	"	aerosmith	"	)	songs	grace	the	soundtrack	.	director	michael	bay	lays	the	visual	and	sound	effects	on	thick	,	like	ketchup	,	eventually	drowning	the	movie	on	screen	.	(	the	middle	hour	is	a	non	sensical	,	pyrotechnic	assault	on	the	average	primate's	brain	.	)	whenever	someone	dies	in	this	movie	,	a	crew	member	inevitably	yells	out	"	we	lost	(	insert	dead	person's	last	name	here	)	!	"	i	must	admit	that	not	once	could	i	distinguish	a	dead	oil	guy	cum	astronaut	from	a	live	one	,	and	close	ups	of	the	corpses'	faces	beneath	cracked	helmets	provided	little	assistance	,	as	their	skin	was	often	covered	in	fake	blood	.	armageddon	is	not	as	terrible	movie	as	godzilla	.	it	looks	nicer	,	and	has	fewer	plot	holes	within	its	equally	ludicrous	framework	.	it	has	a	vivid	soundmix	.	but	at	almost	two	and	a	half	hours	,	i	could	not	believe	how	little	actually	happened	over	the	course	of	the	story	.	the	love	story	has	been	played	up	in	the	ads	,	perhaps	hoping	to	catch	people	before	they	recover	from	titanic	fever	.	bollocks	!	the	lovers	in	the	film	are	miles	apart	throughout	erase	all	thoughts	of	nude	sketching	or	car	sex	and	replace	them	with	obligatory	shots	of	liv	tyler	tearing	up	while	ben	affleck	dicks	around	in	a	moon	crawler	.	remember	a	little	film	called	jaws	?	in	this	film	,	three	independent	minded	men	suddenly	found	themselves	on	a	fishing	boat	in	pursuit	of	a	deadly	shark	.	they	didn't	much	like	each	other	at	first	;	eventually	,	they	started	to	respect	one	another	.	one	of	jaws'	great	scenes	involved	the	would	be	ahabs	drinking	and	singing	songs	and	telling	stories	.	this	is	the	sort	of	male	bonding	foreign	to	bay	or	his	producer	,	jerry	bruckheimer	,	who	throw	too	many	characters	into	the	mix	and	expect	we'll	care	about	them	on	the	grounds	that	the	world	is	about	to	end	.	not	once	do	we	get	the	feeling	that	these	characters	are	even	acquaintances	i'd	be	surprised	if	these	actors	bothered	to	introduce	themselves	to	one	another	before	"	action	"	was	called	.	a	male	friend	who	loved	the	film	suggested	to	me	that	perhaps	i	cannot	relate	to	a	bunch	of	men	who	don't	bare	their	souls	,	who	believe	in	dying	macho	concepts	like	heroism	and	a	kind	of	chest	beating	bravery	.	to	this	,	i	will	respond	that	the	boys	in	armageddon	are	neither	heroic	,	nor	brave	,	nor	smart	,	even	:	this	team	couldn't	build	a	birdhouse	.	and	if	i	get	no	respect	for	disliking	a	movie	with	all	the	synthetic	feeling	of	a	trailer	a	trailer	for	a	movie	written	by	a	team	of	body	builders	and	greeting	card	authors	i've	never	been	a	prouder	wimp	my	whole	life	.
neg	for	more	movie	reviews	and	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	set	in	the	future	,	a	courier	has	uploaded	some	data	into	a	"	hard	drive	"	that	resides	in	his	head	,	and	must	now	escape	the	bad	guys	who	are	after	that	very	important	information	.	since	he	overloaded	his	"	hard	drive	"	,	he's	also	racing	against	the	clock	before	the	information	seeps	into	his	brain	and	kills	him	.	critique	:	incoherent	,	boring	,	one	act	drivel	with	no	suspense	,	horribly	unbelievable	futuristic	environment	,	bad	dialogue	,	career	defining	bad	acting	by	keanu	reeves	and	a	hilarious	ending	.	it's	too	bad	because	the	premise	of	the	film	was	interesting	,	but	unfortunately	for	my	friends	and	i	,	this	movie	turned	out	to	be	just	as	bad	as	everyone	had	warned	us	.	it's	one	of	those	films	that	makes	you	start	laughing	half	way	through	,	when	you	realize	that	most	of	the	actors	in	it	suck	,	the	location	shots	are	filmed	in	dark	"	junkyard	"	type	areas	which	they	would	like	to	have	us	believe	to	be	futuristic	(	whatever	.	.	.	)	,	and	all	the	sets	look	like	.	.	.	.	well	,	sets	.	there	is	also	absolutely	no	arc	to	this	story	.	it	basically	starts	off	with	keanu	uploading	info	into	his	brain	,	and	then	a	bunch	of	folks	chasing	him	from	place	to	place	until	a	laughable	ending	puts	a	stop	to	the	former	uneventful	proceedings	.	gibson	should	stick	to	writing	novels	and	"	x	files	"	episodes	,	since	his	segue	into	the	paranormal	tv	series	was	much	more	entertaining	than	any	of	this	garbage	.	some	other	hilarities	of	this	film	include	dolph	lundgren	as	some	futuristic	jesus	character	whose	supposed	to	kick	ass	,	henry	rollins	as	a	pumped	up	cyber	doctor	or	something	,	and	ice	t	as	some	kind	of	a	hobo	dude	with	paint	all	over	his	face	(	don't	ask	)	.	the	ending	is	the	funniest	with	some	robot	dolphin	and	a	stupid	ghost	lady	from	inside	the	computer	doing	some	stuff	that	no	one	really	cares	about	by	that	point	.	i'm	ashamed	to	say	this	film	was	shot	in	my	hometown	of	montreal	,	canada	,	but	sadly	enough	for	us	all	,	it	was	.	some	of	the	cyber	travelling	special	effects	were	okay	(	hence	,	the	2	10	)	,	but	overall	,	it's	one	of	those	bad	movies	that's	just	funny	to	watch	and	cringe	at	.	thankfully	for	keanu	,	he	redeemed	his	sci	fi	career	with	1999's	the	matrix	(	7	.	5	10	)	.	it's	too	bad	that	he	has	yet	to	redeem	his	lack	of	acting	talent	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	as	of	1999	,	director	robert	longo	never	directed	another	full	feature	film	.	hmmm	.	.	.	now	isn't	that	odd	?	:	)	writer	william	gibson	immigrated	from	the	us	to	canada	in	1968	,	after	being	rejected	for	the	draft	.	he	lived	in	toronto	at	first	,	but	since	1972	,	has	made	vancouver	his	home	.	his	1984	novel	"	neuromancer	"	and	its	sequels	1986's	"	count	zero	"	and	1988's	"	mona	lisa	overdrive	"	are	generally	considered	to	be	the	definitive	works	of	the	"	cyberpunk	"	science	fiction	sub	genre	.	this	film	garnered	keanu	reeves	a	nomination	in	the	"	worst	actor	"	category	in	the	1996	razzie	awards	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	robert	strohmeyer	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	a798b7c8e97eb65c8825695900042829	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	a798b7c8e97eb65c8825695900042829	?	opendocument	a	after	40	continuous	years	of	off	broadway	performances	,	the	musical	sensation	of	tom	jones	and	harvey	schmidt	comes	inexplicably	to	the	big	screen	.	that's	right	,	folks	.	all	the	dancing	,	singing	,	and	mindbogglingly	stupid	antics	of	off	broadway's	longest	running	embarrassment	can	now	be	experienced	at	a	cinema	near	you	.	set	deep	in	rural	america	,	this	is	the	story	of	two	neighboring	fathers	who	fake	a	feud	in	order	to	trick	their	children	into	courtship	.	of	course	,	the	young	man	and	woman	(	played	by	joe	mcintyre	and	jean	louisa	kelly	,	respectively	)	are	easily	duped	and	everything	is	going	as	planned	.	that	is	,	until	the	circus	comes	to	town	.	and	that's	when	the	moronic	singing	starts	.	perhaps	the	most	baffling	thing	about	this	incomprehensible	production	is	that	it	languished	for	about	five	years	on	mgm	shelves	,	nearly	(	but	not	nearly	enough	)	not	making	it	to	the	screen	,	until	francis	ford	coppola	offered	to	have	a	look	at	it	at	much	risk	to	his	own	sanity	.	sadly	,	even	ffc's	magical	touch	could	not	spare	us	the	horror	the	fantasticks	has	in	store	.	the	unique	combination	of	cheesy	choreography	,	inept	dialog	,	and	insanely	ridiculous	music	,	so	brilliantly	captured	under	michael	ritchie's	direction	,	is	surely	enough	to	have	audiences	howling	all	the	way	to	their	cars	within	the	first	twenty	minutes	.	this	is	the	sort	of	film	our	grandmothers	might	have	loved	.	well	,	probably	not	my	grandmother	but	maybe	yours	,	if	she	was	an	invalid	.	one	credit	i	can	pay	this	flick	is	that	,	against	all	probability	,	its	makers	managed	to	cram	more	moments	of	ungodly	torture	into	an	86	minute	musical	than	i	could	ever	have	thought	possible	.	the	saddest	thing	about	the	fantasticks	is	the	inclusion	in	its	cast	of	cabaret's	memorable	emcee	,	joel	grey	.	a	longtime	fan	of	grey's	performances	,	i	will	be	forever	scarred	by	this	experience	.	to	be	sure	,	jean	louisa	kelly	and	joe	mcintyre	will	live	long	enough	to	regret	their	roles	in	this	picture	.	teller	(	of	penn	teller	)	,	on	the	other	hand	,	might	very	well	consider	this	the	crowning	achievement	of	a	career	spent	frolicking	silently	about	in	the	shadow	of	a	lowbrow	windbag	.	the	fantasticks	might	well	serve	as	a	worthwhile	sacrifice	in	american	filmmaking	,	demonstrating	for	all	time	the	god	awful	stupidity	of	silver	screen	musicals	.	use	it	as	you	would	a	roadside	accident	;	gawk	thoroughly	as	you	cruise	slowly	by	,	praying	for	all	your	life	is	worth	that	this	sort	of	atrocity	never	happens	to	anyone	,	ever	again	.
neg	stephen	king	is	a	prolific	and	sometimes	gifted	writer	,	but	his	track	record	with	the	movies	is	spotty	.	every	now	and	then	,	we	get	an	original	vision	or	an	offbeat	story	to	begin	with	,	and	the	result	is	really	memorable	:	the	shining	,	the	dead	zone	,	stand	by	me	,	the	shawshank	redemption	were	all	strong	and	enjoyable	.	the	rest	of	them	have	been	by	the	numbers	piffle	,	like	this	one	.	what's	wrong	with	this	movie	?	it	was	lifted	more	or	less	intact	from	his	novel	of	the	same	name	,	and	i	think	that's	the	source	of	the	problem	.	many	of	his	novels	have	become	windy	,	overcooked	exhalations	to	no	clear	purpose	.	once	you	get	your	mind	around	the	basic	conceit	of	the	story	,	the	rest	is	just	a	taxi	ride	.	needful	things	fits	squarely	into	that	category	.	as	a	movie	,	it's	even	more	insufferable	and	dessicated	than	the	book	it	was	taken	from	.	the	story	opens	up	in	castle	rock	,	another	of	king's	fictional	maine	towns	that	looks	peaceful	on	the	outside	but	you	just	know	is	brimming	with	repressed	horror	.	ooo	.	one	day	a	store	that	vaguely	resembles	an	antique	store	,	named	"	needful	things	"	,	opens	shop	.	the	proprietor	is	played	by	max	von	sydow	,	who	is	probably	the	best	thing	in	the	movie	,	since	he	is	always	enjoyable	as	someone	of	diabolical	intent	.	i'm	half	expecting	a	movie	biography	of	anton	szandor	lavey	with	him	starring	in	it	,	and	come	to	think	of	it	,	that	would	be	far	more	interesting	than	anything	that	happens	here	.	never	mind	.	the	store	has	in	its	collection	of	bric	a	brac	various	items	for	which	all	the	members	of	the	town	all	harbor	the	deepest	desires	.	the	proprietor	sells	them	,	but	he	is	of	course	charging	the	highest	possible	price	for	them	:	your	soul	.	there	are	other	developments	,	too	,	which	involve	the	townspeople	stabbing	each	other	in	the	back	to	curry	favor	with	satan	.	the	only	person	who	holds	out	against	the	big	sellout	is	ed	harris	,	playing	a	police	chief	with	an	ugly	past	,	but	soon	everyone	else	in	town	has	succumbed	and	it	isn't	long	before	the	whole	place	is	going	up	in	flames	.	god	,	i'm	so	sick	of	a	movie's	third	act	where	they	"	solve	"	everything	by	blowing	it	up	.	it	didn't	work	in	zabriskie	point	,	so	why	should	it	work	now	?	there's	not	much	variety	in	the	movie	,	either	;	it's	all	horribly	monochromatic	and	repetitive	.	satan	arrives	,	sets	up	shop	,	people	fall	all	over	each	other	selling	out	to	the	devil	,	mayhem	ensues	,	movie	eventually	terminates	on	a	sarcastic	note	.	when	i	think	about	how	much	money	and	time	and	care	goes	into	making	any	movie	,	and	i	see	something	like	this	,	my	heart	dies	a	little	.
neg	the	following	review	contains	some	harsh	language	.	.	.	but	what	did	you	expect	when	you	clicked	on	this	title	?	cast	:	kristen	holly	smith	,	danica	sheridan	,	alex	boling	,	michael	dotson	,	sonya	hensley	,	janet	krajeski	,	sabrina	lu	,	dionysius	burbano	,	calvin	grant	,	jeff	b	.	harmon	written	and	directed	by	:	jeff	b	.	harmon	running	time	:	97	minutes	"	the	thought	of	losing	you	makes	me	all	vomity	inside	.	"	blatz	balinski	(	danica	sheridan	)	laments	the	fact	that	her	lesbian	lover	,	april	(	kristen	holly	smith	)	,	has	just	received	a	telegram	from	her	ex	fiance	.
neg	"	tina	!	!	!	fetch	me	the	axe	!	!	!	"	a	favourite	book	of	mine	called	the	golden	turkey	awards	relates	the	story	that	when	mommie	dearest	was	unleashed	upon	unsuspecting	audiences	back	in	1981	,	paramount	soon	realised	they	had	a	problem	on	their	hands	.	it	wasn't	just	the	film's	disappointing	box	office	performance	.	indeed	,	in	the	coming	years	some	people	would	be	going	back	to	see	it	two	,	three	,	even	six	times	.	no	,	the	main	problem	was	that	what	was	intended	as	a	serious	biopic	of	screen	queen	joan	crawford	was	turning	into	the	laugh	riot	of	the	year	.	in	a	desperate	attempt	to	capitalise	on	this	unexpected	turn	of	events	,	some	publicity	hacks	dreamed	up	outrageous	print	advertisements	screaming	:	"	mommie	dearest	:	the	biggest	mommie	of	them	all	!	"	.	executives	at	paramount	were	appalled	and	soon	had	the	ads	withdrawn	,	but	it	was	all	too	late	.	mommie	dearest	was	already	cementing	its	place	in	camp	cinema	history	.	unfortunately	,	faye	dunaway's	energetic	,	at	times	ridiculously	over	the	top	performance	is	about	the	film's	only	redeeming	feature	.	based	on	daughter	christina	crawford's	trashy	biography	,	mommie	dearest	chronicles	a	series	of	mainly	private	events	in	the	life	of	her	moviestar	mother	.	if	you	believe	this	movie	,	it	was	a	life	was	racked	by	obsession	,	lonliness	,	child	abuse	and	rampant	egomania	.	the	film	begins	with	crawford	adopting	two	children	,	and	concludes	in	the	office	of	her	lawyer	where	her	now	grown	up	daughter	and	son	find	out	they	have	been	left	out	of	their	mother's	will	.	joan	always	wanted	her	kids	to	be	able	to	fend	for	themselves	,	you	see	.	but	that's	about	the	only	thread	in	the	narrative	that	manages	to	survive	to	the	film's	end	.	the	script	laboured	over	by	four	writers	,	a	bad	sign	in	itself	is	a	poorly	connected	series	of	episodes	that	builds	little	dramatic	momentum	.	frank	perry's	direction	is	no	more	than	competent	,	and	dunaway's	bitchy	lines	aside	,	the	dialogue	is	flat	and	uninvolving	.	in	fairness	,	the	film's	second	half	ditches	some	of	the	cartoon	hysterics	and	does	develop	a	degree	empathy	for	its	characters	.	when	the	adult	christina	moves	out	of	home	into	her	own	modest	dwelling	,	joan	visits	and	keeps	in	touch	,	not	helping	her	financially	but	encouraging	christina's	own	acting	and	career	ambitions	.	crawford	does	seem	to	care	about	her	daughter	,	but	you	can	sense	the	emotional	distance	and	feel	some	of	their	pain	.	you	also	get	glimpses	of	what	the	film	could	have	been	in	the	hands	of	better	writers	.	ah	,	but	there	is	dunaway's	performance	.	and	what	a	delicious	piece	of	campery	it	often	is	.	having	just	been	sacked	by	her	studio	after	a	run	of	box	office	duds	,	crawford	storms	home	late	at	night	and	proceeds	to	go	ballistic	in	the	garden	.	she	has	the	maid	drag	the	kids	out	of	bed	to	come	down	and	clean	up	the	mess	she's	making	.	spotting	a	young	tree	she	doesn't	like	the	look	of	,	she	turns	to	the	trembling	christina	and	utters	the	immortal	line	"	tina	!	!	fetch	me	the	axe	!	!	"	with	which	she	proceeds	to	enthusiastically	dismember	the	poor	sapling	.	in	the	film's	most	outrageous	scene	,	joan	realises	that	some	of	her	daughter's	clothes	are	hanging	on	wire	coat	hangers	.	oh	dear	!	sounds	like	the	perfect	excuse	for	another	temper	tantrum	,	doesn't	it	?	this	time	she	gives	her	daughter	a	horrible	beating	while	delivering	another	classic	outburst	:	"	no	.	.	.	wire	.	.	.	hangers	.	.	.	.	ever	!	!	!	!	"	.	and	later	,	when	the	board	of	her	late	husband's	company	pepsi	cola	tries	to	divest	her	of	her	directorship	,	she	displays	a	superb	grasp	of	business	etiquette	by	jumping	to	her	feet	and	roaring	:	"	don't	fuck	with	me	,	fellas	!	!	"	.	oh	joy	!	something	of	a	camp	classic	,	then	,	but	if	that's	not	you're	cup	of	tea	then	mommie	dearest	doesn't	have	too	much	to	recommend	it	.	better	you	see	the	real	crawford	in	the	women	(	1939	)	,	mildred	pierce	(	1945	)	or	whatever	happened	to	baby	jane	(	1962	)	.	great	films	distinguished	by	great	performances	,	and	a	far	more	eloquent	testament	to	this	great	woman	than	frank	perry's	shrieking	piece	of	tabloid	froth	.
neg	anywhere	but	here	?	a	more	apt	title	you	will	not	find	on	a	motion	picture	this	decade	.	after	a	witty	lead	like	that	,	at	this	point	in	the	movie	review	,	i	usually	launch	into	a	brief	plot	synopsis	.	so	here	goes	:	a	down	to	earth	teenage	girl	hates	her	crazy	mother	.	if	you're	waiting	for	more	,	you	can	stop	holding	your	breath	.	in	a	nutshell	,	that's	it	.	sure	,	there	are	some	details	(	the	two	move	from	wisconsin	to	beverly	hills	)	okay	,	there	is	a	detail	but	someone	really	tried	to	make	a	movie	out	of	this	shocking	premise	.	so	maybe	you	think	there's	something	to	be	salvaged	by	the	two	big	name	actresses	headlining	the	picture	.	well	,	there's	sarandon	as	the	nutty	and	irresponsible	mom	,	played	in	one	full	dimension	and	with	sarandon	looking	indistinguishable	from	leslie	ann	warren	.	or	there's	the	pouty	portman	,	in	what	will	go	down	as	the	most	forgettable	role	she's	ever	played	.	but	the	worst	failing	of	anywhere	but	here	is	the	utter	lack	of	any	sort	of	plot	.	for	two	hours	,	we	drag	through	one	boring	and	random	tragedy	after	another	.	the	characters	never	change	,	the	film	never	matures	.	it's	excruciating	to	watch	.	i	mean	,	what	is	this	movie	supposed	to	be	about	?	an	aging	woman's	midlife	crisis	?	the	struggle	of	a	teenager	who	finds	herself	playing	parent	to	the	real	mother	?	outcasts	in	beverly	hills	?	all	of	this	has	been	done	,	and	occasionally	it's	been	done	well	.	but	anywhere	but	here	takes	these	three	movies	and	runs	them	straight	into	the	ground	.	anywhere	but	here	is	so	bad	that	if	i	wasn't	a	film	critic	,	i	would	have	left	the	theater	in	the	first	45	minutes	.	but	as	a	professional	,	i	knew	i	would	have	had	to	see	the	last	half	sometime	.	the	prospect	of	that	,	well	,	the	mind	reels	,	the	stomach	turns	,	and	the	ass	revolts	.
neg	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	my	opinion	on	a	film	can	be	easily	swayed	by	the	presence	of	actors	i	love	.	i	love	ralph	fiennes	.	i	love	uma	thurman	.	i	love	sean	connery	.	hell	,	i'm	even	a	big	fan	of	jim	broadbent	and	fiona	shaw	.	i	saw	the	fantastic	preview	for	the	avengers	nearly	eight	months	ago	,	and	i've	been	eagerly	awaiting	the	film	ever	since	.	a	few	months	into	the	summer	,	however	,	i	noticed	that	its	release	date	had	been	changed	a	few	times	,	and	that	it	had	ended	up	in	the	mid	august	dumping	ground	.	then	,	in	this	final	week	before	its	official	release	,	i	learned	that	it	was	not	to	be	screened	for	critics	.	and	that	the	actors	had	not	been	plugging	the	film	on	late	night	programs	.	and	that	it	was	directed	by	the	same	man	who	brought	us	the	remake	of	diabolique	.	my	expectations	fell	to	pieces	when	i	learned	all	of	these	things	.	the	film	i	saw	today	didn't	even	meet	those	expectations	.	this	is	a	lousy	,	incoherent	mess	.	i	would	slam	it	harder	,	if	it	weren't	for	the	nifty	sets	and	the	mere	presence	of	all	these	fine	,	lovable	actors	.	but	sets	are	ultimately	empty	,	and	the	performances	are	completely	uninspired	.	that's	the	main	problem	with	the	avengers	:	for	all	it's	hip	hop	flash	and	tidal	waves	,	none	of	it	feels	the	least	bit	energetic	or	inspired	.	it's	like	a	chore	,	a	bland	exercise	in	superhero	film	making	.	it	also	feels	like	its	been	cut	to	pieces	,	clocking	in	at	90	minutes	and	forgetting	to	close	some	of	its	own	subplots	.	this	is	just	plain	depressing	.	the	avengers	is	a	film	version	of	the	popular	60s	television	show	.	frequent	readers	of	mine	will	not	be	surprised	to	learn	that	i've	never	watched	an	episode	.	i	wasn't	alive	then	.	i	don't	even	watch	television	now	.	i'm	very	sorry	that	i	don't	have	this	perspective	,	but	,	judging	from	the	reviews	i've	already	read	,	knowing	the	tv	show	just	makes	matters	worse	.	i	didn't	know	and	love	john	steed	and	emma	peel	,	and	therefore	i	was	not	as	upset	to	see	how	these	actors	i	love	have	managed	to	thrash	their	roles	.	i	also	doubt	that	familiarity	with	the	series	would	allow	me	to	understand	more	clearly	the	chain	of	events	that	do	take	place	in	this	film	.	based	on	what	the	film	told	me	,	i	gather	that	steed	(	fiennes	)	is	some	kind	of	british	super	guy	(	somewhat	like	james	bond	)	,	and	that	dr	.	peel	(	thurman	)	is	just	a	really	smart	doctor	,	who	also	happens	to	know	a	lot	about	weather	and	about	beating	people	up	while	limited	by	tight	leather	suits	.	they	are	to	work	together	,	under	mother's	orders	(	mother	is	played	by	jolly	jim	broadbent	,	while	his	co	conspirator	,	father	,	is	played	by	the	equally	talented	fiona	shaw	)	.	it	seems	that	there	is	a	man	out	there	controlling	the	weather	.	his	name	is	de	wynter	(	connery	)	.	he	is	a	crazy	scottish	guy	.	our	heroes	had	better	stop	him	,	or	else	.	.	.	the	weather	will	keep	getting	colder	until	they	"	have	to	go	to	hell	to	warm	up	"	(	one	of	the	film's	few	funny	lines	)	.	along	the	way	there	is	subplot	after	subplot	,	hinged	sloppily	together	by	scenes	that	go	nowhere	,	feel	perfunctory	,	and	ultimately	make	no	sense	.	for	example	,	our	heroes	are	eventually	attacked	by	a	swarm	of	giant	mechanical	insects	with	machineguns	attached	to	their	torsos	.	now	,	killer	bugs	don't	really	go	with	the	weather	controlling	theme	of	the	film	.	the	purpose	of	the	bugs	,	other	than	to	annihilate	our	heroes	,	is	never	established	.	they're	never	even	directly	connected	to	de	wynter	(	they're	controlled	by	his	crazy	henchman	,	played	by	eddie	izzard	)	.	the	special	effects	aren't	bad	,	but	they're	loud	,	obnoxious	,	and	intrusive	.	like	so	many	scenes	in	the	film	,	it	seems	present	only	to	keep	your	attention	from	waning	.	and	i	guarantee	you	,	it	will	wane	.	i	stopped	thinking	about	the	story	when	i	realized	it	didn't	do	any	good	to	think	.	the	avengers	has	clearly	been	chopped	up	and	re	assembled	so	many	times	that	even	the	people	involved	couldn't	tell	us	what	happens	.	there	are	several	scenes	in	the	preview	that	didn't	make	the	final	cut	.	in	addition	,	many	of	the	sequences	have	irritating	,	grainy	film	quality	,	which	makes	it	feel	low	budget	(	the	last	scene	is	particularly	bad	)	.	the	scenes	that	don't	feature	action	should	be	electric	,	thanks	to	our	wonderful	cast	.	they	aren't	.	the	action	scenes	should	be	electric	,	because	this	is	an	action	film	.	they	aren't	,	either	.	and	what	about	this	wasted	cast	?	oh	,	it	makes	me	weep	with	disappointment	.	we're	talking	ralph	fiennes	here	,	one	of	the	best	actors	working	today	,	one	of	the	best	actors	ever	.	i	love	the	guy	.	i've	loved	all	his	films	,	until	this	one	.	he	seems	like	he	wants	to	understand	the	film	,	but	he's	as	lost	as	we	are	.	and	thurman	,	in	all	of	her	spectacular	beauty	and	talent	,	can't	manage	to	look	at	home	here	.	(	i	don't	blame	her	completely	,	for	there	is	a	strange	subplot	involving	her	evil	twin	that	is	never	explained	in	any	way	,	and	it	can't	be	easy	to	deal	with	such	terrible	screenwriting	.	)	connery	,	however	,	seems	the	most	out	of	it	,	totally	lacking	any	kind	of	focus	,	or	interest	,	for	that	matter	.	who	is	to	blame	?	is	it	the	screenwriter	,	don	macpherson	?	perhaps	,	although	i	can	see	a	shell	of	a	story	here	that	could	have	been	a	good	superhero	movie	had	it	been	handled	right	.	is	it	the	actors	?	for	god's	sake	,	no	these	people	clearly	lost	interest	when	they	saw	the	inevitable	path	of	destruction	on	which	this	film	was	travelling	.	i	blame	director	jeremiah	chechik	,	who	shouldn't	have	been	given	the	task	to	begin	with	.	his	best	film	,	benny	joon	,	is	quirky	in	the	same	way	that	this	one	was	supposed	to	be	,	but	here	it	mostly	seems	like	a	lot	of	failed	attempts	at	wit	and	humor	.	add	to	that	a	lack	of	experience	in	big	budget	action	,	and	you	have	the	worst	choice	for	director	this	side	of	james	ivory	.	if	the	avengers	has	a	saving	grace	,	it's	the	set	design	.	the	sets	(	by	stuart	craig	)	are	big	,	colorful	,	and	often	pleasing	to	look	at	.	i	like	the	final	set	piece	,	on	de	wynter's	island	,	even	if	none	of	it	makes	a	bit	of	sense	.	i	admired	the	overhead	view	of	the	stairs	,	showing	dr	.	peel	running	around	in	circles	and	never	getting	anywhere	.	i	also	enjoyed	michael	kamen's	music	score	,	particularly	in	the	opening	credits	.	but	this	stuff	is	routine	good	sets	and	music	are	nice	,	but	there's	a	lot	more	that	needs	to	be	here	.	inspiration	,	for	instance	,	would	have	been	really	nice	.	maybe	a	little	bit	of	cohesion	in	the	story	.	or	a	sense	of	purpose	.	most	of	all	,	though	,	i	would	have	liked	to	see	these	actors	relish	in	their	roles	.	damn	this	movie	for	not	giving	them	the	chance	.
neg	there	are	some	actors	that	you	just	look	at	and	will	automatically	see	them	as	the	famous	character	they	play	.	fran	drescher	will	forever	will	the	nanny	,	bob	denver	will	always	be	gilligan	,	and	don	knotts	lives	forever	as	barney	fife	.	all	these	people	are	television	actors	who	appear	on	their	show	,	week	after	week	playing	the	same	character	,	so	it	is	hard	for	this	to	translate	into	celebrities	who	appear	in	movies	.	anthony	hopkins	on	the	other	hand	apparently	wants	us	to	always	think	of	him	as	a	crazed	madman	behind	bars	.	this	is	the	only	reason	i	could	come	up	with	for	him	to	take	the	leading	role	in	instinct	,	a	new	movie	that	re	defines	cliched	and	painful	.	it	does	not	matter	if	the	prison	inmates	are	tough	praying	on	the	few	weak	ones	,	or	that	the	guards	give	new	meaning	to	police	brutality	.	you	could	probably	withstand	all	of	the	above	material	on	a	good	bucket	of	popcorn	and	a	very	large	soda	.	but	the	movie	can't	even	be	even	fun	and	smart	on	a	summer	movie	level	,	and	fails	miserably	to	make	us	excited	or	scared	in	any	way	.	dr	.	theo	calder	is	a	young	psychologist	who	is	very	high	in	the	areas	of	self	confidence	and	self	assurance	.	he	wants	to	begin	seeing	a	crazed	scientist	who	recently	was	transported	from	a	prison	in	africa	to	one	in	the	states	.	ethan	powell	(	hopkins	,	playing	the	role	of	hannibal	lecter	s	non	cannibal	cousin	)	was	a	scientist	who	disappeared	in	the	forests	of	africa	in	1994	.	he	lived	in	the	forest	with	the	gorillas	he	studies	for	two	years	before	killing	two	park	rangers	and	injuring	two	more	while	trying	to	protect	his	gorilla	family	.	in	the	first	interview	theo	learns	some	problems	that	may	hinder	the	investigation	of	ethan	.	one	,	he	doesn't	speak	to	anyone	at	all	.	two	,	he	hasn't	experienced	human	interaction	in	so	long	he	responds	to	almost	everything	with	violent	outbursts	.	three	,	the	doctors	at	the	prison	just	don't	care	.	how	dramatic	,	how	thrilling	,	how	(	inserting	snoring	sounds	here	)	.	eventually	he	does	get	the	man	to	finally	utter	a	few	words	,	but	the	psychiatrist	soon	finds	himself	to	be	the	one	who	s	being	taught	a	lesson	.	there	s	some	message	about	how	no	human	actually	has	control	,	they	just	think	they	do	,	that	is	what	powell	teaches	him	.	dr	.	calder	soon	expands	his	horizons	as	a	realizes	that	is	may	not	be	the	people	in	the	prison	,	but	the	prison	itself	.	the	problems	with	the	inmates	must	live	with	are	guards	that	are	not	fair	to	them	and	treat	them	with	harshly	and	violently	.	plus	,	oh	my	god	!	everyone	in	the	prison	is	not	being	treated	with	proper	respect	.	ok	,	let	us	take	a	poll	:	who	would	ever	really	care	about	what	happens	to	any	of	the	people	in	this	movie	?	see	it	and	if	you	don	t	come	out	disgusted	then	i	will	personally	pay	for	your	next	outing	to	the	cinema	.	(	note	:	the	preceding	sentence	was	just	to	prove	a	point	that	this	movie	is	bad	,	i	will	not	pay	for	your	next	movie	so	don	t	e	mail	me	asking	for	money	.	)	the	acting	in	the	film	is	just	horrible	.	hopkins	does	nothing	in	the	role	that	he	is	accustomed	to	,	and	cuba	has	some	keen	intellectual	ability	to	pick	bad	roles	that	will	make	him	lose	his	star	status	.	this	is	not	entirely	the	actor	s	faults	though	.	the	script	could	easily	have	been	written	better	if	the	proper	time	was	taken	with	it	.	the	soapy	emotion	that	floats	up	near	the	end	of	the	film	also	doesn	t	make	any	sense	with	all	of	the	happenings	in	the	beginning	of	the	picture	.	the	setting	is	uninteresting	and	the	story	has	too	many	side	plots	that	they	do	nothing	with	which	just	seem	to	be	there	to	add	to	the	running	time	.	you	could	rip	up	all	of	the	copies	(	with	gloves	on	so	as	not	to	burn	your	fingers	)	of	this	movie	at	your	local	video	store	.	you	could	warn	people	who	try	to	rent	it	,	or	you	could	make	a	big	bonfire	and	burn	all	of	the	copies	in	the	neighborhood	.	whatever	you	can	do	to	help	make	sure	that	no	one	on	earth	will	ever	have	to	experience	this	film	(	i	believe	)	would	be	greatly	appreciated	by	the	american	public	.	so	if	you	haven	t	gotten	the	message	yet	,	avoid	instinct	,	which	gets	1	2	a	.	the	young	uns	:	the	film	contains	some	suspenseful	scenes	and	strong	language	.	it	is	also	senselessly	brutal	and	violent	in	some	scenes	.	good	age	:	no	one	who	is	sober	anyone	who	liked	chill	factor	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	homestead	.	com	teenagemoviecritic	mainpage	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	homestead	.	com	teenagemoviecritic	mainpage	.	html	a
neg	holy	man	1	4	directed	by	stephen	herek	.	written	by	tom	schulman	.	photography	,	adrian	biddle	.	editing	,	trudy	ship	.	production	design	,	andrew	mcalpine	.	music	by	alan	silvestri	.	cast	:	eddie	murphy	(	"	g	"	)	,	jeff	goldblum	(	ricky	)	,	kelly	preston	(	kate	)	,	robert	loggia	(	mcbainbridge	)	,	jon	cryer	(	barry	)	,	eric	mccormack	(	scott	hawkes	)	et	al	.	a	touchstone	release	.	114	minutes	.	pg	(	references	to	body	parts	and	functions	)	nothing	holy	about	this	flick	,	but	plenty	that's	hokey	.	ricky	is	a	hustling	producer	in	the	good	buy	shopping	network	(	gbsn	)	,	located	in	miami's	south	beach	and	lately	acquired	by	crass	capitalist	mcbainbridge	.	the	boss	,	made	furious	by	27	months	of	"	flatness	"	gives	ricky	an	ultimatum	:	"	you	have	two	weeks	to	bring	the	sales	up	8	or	you're	fired	.	"	ricky	,	at	his	wits	(	such	as	they	are	)	end	,	thinks	only	a	miracle	can	save	him	.	he	also	falls	for	kate	,	newly	hired	as	a	gee	whiz	marketer	.	while	changing	a	tire	on	the	highway	,	these	two	meet	eddie	murphy	,	a	cheerful	,	shaved	head	eccentric	garbed	in	a	vaguely	indian	asian	two	piece	outfit	.	he	will	(	how	did	you	guess	?	!	)	turn	out	to	be	the	prayed	for	miracle	.	the	encounter	is	most	artificial	.	so	is	everything	that	follows	.	somehow	(	don't	ask	)	all	three	people	make	friends	.	somehow	(	please	don't	ask	again	)	,	murphy	,	mysterious	down	to	his	name	(	just	"	g	"	)	,	becomes	the	instrument	of	making	the	gbsn	a	hit	,	and	promoting	the	love	affair	between	ricky	and	kate	,	an	affair	that	follows	the	tired	cliche	of	antagonism	becoming	love	.	a	protracted	,	dull	introduction	and	inane	fast	talk	impede	rather	than	help	the	story	.	it	picks	up	a	bit	when	,	at	rick's	reception	for	potential	sponsors	,	g	(	by	now	rick's	house	guest	)	shows	up	and	spices	up	things	somewhat	.	vaguely	guru	ish	,	certainly	upbeat	and	humorous	,	he	hypnotizes	nino	cerruti	(	the	italian	tycoon	,	played	by	himself	)	,	cures	him	of	his	fear	of	flying	,	and	performs	magic	(	prestidigitation	)	with	a	rolex	.	all	this	simply	postpones	the	action	for	about	three	quarters	of	an	hour	.	when	g	is	somehow	(	thanks	for	not	asking	)	made	to	go	on	the	network	to	increase	sales	,	he	debunks	the	products	and	the	customers	,	but	spouts	"	wisdom	"	and	true	values	that	somehow	(	don't	ask	)	send	the	sales	skyrocketing	.	it's	all	silliness	and	inanity	.	how	sad	.	at	his	best	murphy	can	be	wildly	funny	with	his	distinctive	ebullience	,	his	infectious	,	toothy	grin	,	his	patter	.	not	here	.	the	film	does	have	the	novelty	of	a	"	new	,	"	quiet	,	presumably	thoughtful	murphy	,	but	does	little	to	exploit	it	.	the	movie	has	no	bite	,	no	zip	,	no	energy	.	its	elements	are	disconnected	,	illogical	and	incredible	.	murphy	,	even	in	this	bummer	,	is	nice	to	watch	,	but	he	overspouts	platitudes	and	cliche	"	morality	.	"	the	goldblum	preston	couple	who	,	take	up	half	of	the	film	and	weaken	murphy's	moments	have	zero	personality	.	(	goldblum's	deep	tan	seems	to	indicate	more	time	spent	at	the	beach	than	at	work	but	it	still	cannot	rival	george	hamilton's	and	the	champion's	,	douglas	fairbanks'	sr	.	)	.	loggia	is	a	caricature	.	the	balance	of	the	supporting	cast	(	including	an	ill	conceived	,	unreal	villain	)	were	written	in	with	the	press	this	key	for	reaction	2	method	.	satirizing	tv	shopping	,	its	hucksters	and	its	public	,	ought	to	be	a	golden	subject	.	but	here	,	it	becomes	a	toothless	dud	in	script	and	execution	.	this	,	for	a	host	of	reasons	,	from	phony	attempts	at	being	farcical	,	peddling	products	that	are	outlandish	and	ridiculous	,	overall	incoherence	,	ineffectual	morality	,	sluggishness	,	lack	of	humor	and	effective	dialogue	,	the	absence	of	a	real	focus	and	point	of	view	.	.	.	this	makes	the	movie	a	yawner	with	just	a	handful	of	amusing	moments	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
neg	conventional	wisdom	among	collectibles	retailers	is	that	children's	items	begin	to	dramatically	escalate	in	price	about	twenty	five	or	thirty	years	after	the	item	was	made	.	that's	when	the	kids	of	that	time	have	jobs	,	disposable	income	and	a	desire	to	re	visit	the	awe	and	wonderment	of	childhood	that	has	disappeared	from	their	lives	.	check	out	the	prices	of	toys	from	the	late	sixties	and	you'll	find	that	i	yogi	bear	i	lunch	boxes	are	demanding	big	bucks	.	there's	a	heavy	nostalgia	nowadays	for	the	late	sixties	and	early	seventies	and	nowhere	is	it	more	apparent	than	on	the	big	screen	.	boomers	are	now	mostly	in	their	forties	and	fifties	and	have	lived	in	the	work	a	day	world	for	a	long	time	.	they'd	like	to	re	capture	some	of	that	fun	they	remember	from	days	of	yore	.	hollywood	seems	more	than	eager	to	churn	out	product	to	help	them	.	directors	are	zealous	to	put	their	stamp	on	icons	from	that	time	.	and	for	the	most	part	they're	messing	it	up	.	"	mission	impossible	"	,	"	lost	in	space	"	,	"	godzilla	"	,	"	zorro	"	.	none	of	these	successfully	capture	the	originals	.	none	of	these	are	even	good	films	.	you	can	now	add	"	the	avengers	"	to	the	list	.	the	british	television	series	began	in	1961	.	super	secret	agent	john	steed	(	then	patrick	macnee	)	and	his	third	partner	,	emma	peel	(	then	diana	rigg	)	are	the	pair	that	the	american	audience	fell	for	.	surrealistic	and	witty	,	the	series	fit	the	mood	of	the	times	.	the	leather	clad	rigg	probably	didn't	hurt	the	ratings	either	.	after	all	it's	not	a	coincidence	that	you	can't	pronounce	her	character's	name	without	"	appeal	"	.	now	we're	in	the	nineties	.	steed	(	now	ralph	fiennes	)	and	peel	(	now	uma	thurman	)	are	battling	evil	genius	sir	august	de	wynter	(	sean	connery	)	who	is	screwing	with	england's	weather	.	that's	about	as	much	of	a	plot	as	we	have	.	there's	some	footage	about	a	lot	of	other	things	that	either	don't	make	sense	or	make	even	less	sense	.	we	get	betrayal	for	some	unknown	reason	.	evil	clones	appear	and	vanish	and	have	no	connection	to	the	film	.	remarkably	ineffective	giant	flying	robot	wasps	with	machine	guns	in	their	belly	come	from	nowhere	for	no	good	reason	.	there's	a	high	tech	hot	air	balloon	,	but	i	have	no	idea	why	anyone's	in	it	.	the	spy	agency	is	run	by	a	man	called	"	mother	"	who	is	in	a	wheelchair	and	a	woman	named	"	father	"	who	is	blind	.	.	.	at	least	in	some	scenes	.	there's	probably	a	reason	for	all	of	this	,	but	we'll	never	know	it	.	macnee	makes	an	appearance	of	sorts	.	he	is	the	voice	for	an	invisible	man	whose	character	goes	nowhere	in	a	scene	that	does	nothing	.	a	group	of	villains	sits	around	a	table	,	all	clad	in	huge	pastel	colored	teddy	bear	outfits	.	at	first	it's	humorous	to	watch	the	teddies	waddle	around	,	but	then	it	becomes	goofy	.	the	movie	is	a	medley	of	clutter	,	confusion	and	wrong	decisions	around	every	corner	.	it	feels	like	major	portions	of	the	film	are	missing	.	the	storyline	jumps	rather	than	flows	.	reportedly	the	film	was	re	cut	several	times	.	this	is	one	of	those	times	where	the	whole	is	less	than	the	sum	of	the	parts	especially	since	some	of	the	parts	appear	to	be	missing	.	there's	one	good	point	where	peel	is	running	from	one	room	to	another	in	a	house	designed	by	escher	.	other	than	that	,	the	effects	are	second	rate	.	the	weather	threat	is	old	hat	as	are	the	scenes	of	huge	tornadoes	.	thurman	almost	makes	an	adequate	emma	peel	but	it	doesn't	work	.	she	looks	good	,	dresses	in	all	the	right	fetish	outfits	but	there's	no	spark	.	fiennes	fares	even	less	well	.	macnee's	steed	was	a	witty	man	of	the	world	with	a	sense	of	humor	.	fiennes'	agent	comes	across	as	a	dour	kid	in	grown	up	clothes	who	has	never	been	out	of	his	home	town	.	even	connery	,	one	of	the	greatest	living	actors	,	doesn't	have	much	of	a	presence	outside	of	a	few	fiery	scenes	.	the	action	scenes	are	difficult	to	follow	.	director	jeremiah	chechik	(	responsible	for	the	atrocious	remake	of	"	diabolique	"	)	somehow	manages	to	put	the	camera	exactly	where	it	shouldn't	be	.	things	happen	,	people	move	around	,	but	even	if	,	with	the	utmost	effort	,	you	were	able	to	care	about	any	of	it	,	the	scenes	are	bewildering	.	the	primary	allure	of	the	original	was	the	interaction	between	the	two	leads	.	witty	banter	and	an	underplayed	sexual	tension	were	a	winning	combination	.	admittedly	there	are	a	few	humorous	sexual	puns	in	the	film	,	but	there's	no	chemistry	and	the	repartee	is	anything	but	clever	.	one	of	emma	peel's	first	lines	of	dialog	is	"	rules	are	made	to	be	broken	.	"	it	doesn't	get	any	better	.	advance	word	alone	should	have	been	enough	to	scare	off	anyone	.	the	release	date	was	changed	several	times	.	connery	refuses	to	promote	the	film	.	there	was	no	screening	for	critics	which	may	have	been	a	good	choice	for	warner	brothers	.	at	least	this	way	,	they	get	something	of	an	audience	for	the	first	weekend	before	the	news	gets	out	.	admittedly	i	haven't	seen	an	episode	of	the	television	series	for	a	couple	of	decades	.	my	guess	is	that	it	would	be	severely	dated	now	.	no	matter	how	antiquated	it	might	be	,	there's	no	doubt	that	it	holds	up	better	than	this	film	is	at	first	viewing	.	there's	no	reason	to	waste	any	part	of	the	last	few	days	of	summer	inside	watching	this	movie	.	no	reason	at	all	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	one	score	and	three	years	and	thinks	he's	going	outside	for	a	while	.	he'll	come	in	occasionally	to	check	his	email	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	)	this	appeared	in	the	8	20	98	"	bloomington	independent	"	(	formerly	the	"	bloomington	voice	"	)	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	in	1970s	,	many	european	intellectuals	,	especially	those	on	the	left	political	hemisphere	,	became	obsessed	with	the	rise	of	fascism	.	which	wasn't	so	hard	to	expect	,	because	the	social	turmoil	of	1960s	and	economic	decline	of	1970s	seemed	to	be	the	breeding	ground	for	many	dangerous	ideologies	.	in	such	times	,	when	political	involvement	could	be	associated	with	noble	passion	,	many	filmmakers	tried	to	warn	the	present	generations	of	dangers	that	lurk	ahead	by	giving	the	look	of	pre	war	europe	and	circumstances	that	led	to	phenomena	like	fascist	italy	and	nazi	germany	.	of	course	,	there	were	authors	who	jumped	on	the	bandwagon	for	other	,	less	noble	reasons	.	for	them	,	moral	depravity	of	fascism	could	be	explained	to	the	audience	by	explicitly	showing	sexual	depravity	of	those	era	.	which	,	naturally	,	made	some	of	those	films	very	popular	among	teen	audience	.	one	of	such	filmmakers	was	italian	director	tinto	brass	,	who	later	made	career	shooting	expensive	,	stylish	soft	porn	.	salon	kitty	,	his	1976	film	,	is	very	losely	based	on	the	novel	by	peter	nordern	,	book	that	deals	with	bizarre	yet	true	story	that	took	place	in	the	first	years	of	ww2	.	in	1939	,	walter	schellenberg	,	one	of	the	heads	of	nazi	intelligence	service	has	set	up	the	elite	,	exclusive	brothel	in	berlin	with	clientele	comprised	of	top	nazi	officials	and	foreign	diplomats	.	none	of	the	customers	knew	that	the	girls	were	all	nazi	agents	,	and	that	all	the	rooms	happened	to	be	bugged	.	the	most	bizarre	thing	is	the	fact	that	not	even	kitty	,	nominal	madame	of	the	brothel	,	didn't	know	the	real	purpose	of	that	enterprise	.	screenplay	by	tinto	brass	,	of	course	,	simplifies	the	story	and	changes	few	names	.	schellenberg	is	now	wallenberg	(	helmut	berger	)	,	ambitious	nazi	official	who	wants	to	use	the	brothel	in	order	to	blackmail	his	way	to	the	top	.	kitty	kellerman	(	ingrid	thulin	)	,	apart	from	being	madam	,	has	a	second	job	as	a	cabaret	singer	.	caught	in	the	net	of	depravity	is	sweet	,	innocent	girl	margerithe	(	theresa	ann	savoy	)	thrown	into	brothel	.	there	she	falls	in	love	with	customer	hans	reiter	(	bekim	fehmiu	)	,	disenchanted	pilot	of	luftwaffe	.	when	margerithe	discovers	that	her	lover	had	been	executed	for	defeatist	speeches	he	made	in	the	brothel	,	she	finds	out	that	the	place	is	bugged	.	she	informs	the	madam	of	the	real	situation	,	and	both	women	decide	to	confront	wallenberg	.	those	who	tend	to	bash	benigni	for	exploiting	holocaust	as	the	topic	of	comedy	would	probably	go	bananas	watching	this	film	,	that	uses	the	darkest	pages	of	european	history	for	cheap	sexploitation	.	but	,	although	salon	kitty	doesn't	happen	to	be	anything	more	than	rather	more	stylish	and	expensive	soft	porn	(	although	not	very	successful	;	some	of	supposedly	erotic	scenes	are	quite	unappealing	)	,	it	does	try	to	have	more	multidimensional	characters	and	even	something	resembling	dramatic	conflict	this	time	between	power	hungry	and	scruples	wallenberg	and	hedonistic	womanhood	symbolised	by	kitty	.	unfortunately	,	brass	seems	to	overuse	other	cinematical	references	,	probably	thinking	that	he	could	repeat	the	successful	interaction	of	berger	and	thulin	in	luchino	visconti's	the	damned	,	but	the	most	noticeable	and	irritating	is	ingrid	thulin's	unsuccessful	attempt	to	imitate	lisa	minelli's	musical	numbers	from	cabaret	.	all	in	all	,	salon	kitty	is	failure	,	although	with	some	very	interesting	moments	.
neg	back	in	the	early	years	of	his	career	,	eddie	murphy	was	afflicted	with	what	roger	ebert	termed	"	star	magic	syndrome	"	,	where	a	hot	young	star	is	shoved	blindly	into	one	ill	conceived	production	after	another	,	in	the	hopes	that	name	brand	recognition	will	make	up	for	shoddy	writing	or	inept	concepts	.	after	the	surefooted	fun	of	doctor	doolittle	and	the	nutty	professor	,	holy	man	is	a	step	back	to	the	golden	child	for	murphy	.	murphy	plays	a	guru	swami	type	figure	named	g	(	yes	,	just	"	g	"	g	andhi	?	g	autama	?	we	never	find	out	)	,	whose	idea	of	mysticism	is	parlor	tricks	and	whose	expoundings	on	philosophy	are	torn	wholesale	from	sub	robert	bly	self	help	books	.	he's	the	kind	of	character	that	desperately	needs	an	edge	,	a	twist	.	i	kept	thinking	back	to	my	own	readings	on	zen	buddhism	,	in	which	the	masters	slapped	their	disciples	around	mercilessly	,	insulted	them	,	posed	impossible	riddles	,	and	did	all	kinds	of	other	off	the	wall	things	in	the	name	of	enlightenment	.	no	two	ways	about	it	:	g	is	boring	.	g	wanders	into	the	lives	of	two	tv	execs	(	jeff	goldblum	and	kelly	preston	)	,	who	are	the	manufactured	romance	for	the	movie	.	they're	a	little	unnerved	by	this	guy	,	even	when	he	repairs	the	flat	tires	on	their	car	.	every	time	they	look	at	g	,	their	faces	seem	to	say	something	like	:	"	what	if	he's	one	of	those	wackos	who	insinuates	themselves	into	your	life	and	kills	your	dog	?	"	now	right	there	is	something	more	interesting	than	anything	that	actually	happens	in	the	movie	.	see	,	the	execs	are	in	charge	of	a	rapidly	failing	home	shopping	network	which	hawks	various	utterly	unsellable	products	.	they	desperately	need	to	revamp	things	.	one	day	,	on	a	whim	,	g	wanders	onto	the	set	and	does	his	thing	and	suddenly	,	merchandise	is	blowing	out	the	door	!	this	guy's	a	kick	butt	salesman	!	this	leads	to	him	getting	his	own	show	(	named	,	with	agonizing	predictability	,	"	the	g	spot	"	)	.	why	isn't	any	of	this	funny	?	probably	because	we	can	see	it	coming	a	billion	miles	away	.	nothing	happens	in	this	movies	because	it's	human	nature	certainly	not	the	cardboard	romance	,	which	has	preston	and	goldblum	fighting	,	making	up	and	getting	back	together	in	scenes	of	leaden	predictability	.	and	g	isn't	a	counterpoint	to	anything	:	he's	his	own	straight	man	.	he	has	a	bunch	of	unedifying	little	speeches	and	one	long	one	that's	not	only	unedifying	,	but	dishonest	,	because	it's	a	parable	that	we've	heard	way	too	many	times	before	.	the	writer	,	tom	schulman	,	has	indulged	in	this	kind	of	sappiness	before	.	he	penned	the	insufferable	dead	poets	society	,	which	indulged	in	the	insincere	fiction	that	poetry	and	writing	need	to	be	"	sold	"	to	students	with	flashy	technique	instead	of	cherished	on	their	own	.	here	,	he's	no	better	:	he	gives	g	nothing	of	importance	to	do	,	surrounds	him	with	a	setup	that's	bloodless	and	uninvolving	,	and	fills	his	mouth	with	thimble	deep	pop	psych	blather	.	suggestions	for	the	rewrite	:	either	ditch	the	romance	or	make	it	more	bloodthirsty	.	and	as	for	g	,	give	him	some	actual	attitude	instead	of	just	a	smile	.	here's	one	role	where	eddie	murphy	should	actually	have	let	the	more	scatological	,	scabrous	side	of	his	personality	out	of	the	closet	.	failing	that	,	maybe	they	should	have	case	chris	tucker	.	he	would	have	been	funny	just	standing	there	in	swami	pajamas	.
neg	"	goodbye	,	lover	"	sat	on	the	shelf	for	almost	a	year	since	its	lukewarm	reception	at	the	cannes	film	festival	last	may	,	and	one	look	will	tell	you	why	.	it's	a	mess	.	and	that's	way	before	ellen	degeneres	shows	up	.	the	film	is	one	of	those	torrid	double	indemnity	crime	stories	that	,	in	this	case	,	required	the	services	of	three	screenwriters	.	i	suspect	that	one	wrote	a	sexy	thriller	,	one	wrote	a	murder	mystery	,	and	one	wrote	a	comedy	,	then	director	roland	joff	tried	to	piece	it	all	together	in	the	editing	room	while	scratching	his	head	in	bewilderment	.	i	didn't	laugh	at	ellen	degeneres	much	(	i	think	i	was	supposed	to	)	.	degeneres	is	horrible	and	her	character	is	even	worse	,	a	tough	talking	vulgar	cop	with	a	bad	wardrobe	and	bad	hair	.	either	degeneres	is	wearing	a	wig	as	most	of	the	actors	appear	to	be	or	she	doesn't	yet	have	enough	clout	to	secure	a	hairstylist	.	every	single	word	out	of	her	mouth	is	supposed	to	be	racy	and	hip	,	but	her	incessant	wisecracking	is	poorly	written	and	merely	stupid	.	her	reaction	to	the	brutal	killing	of	a	jogger	is	"	at	least	she	died	healthy	.	"	and	that's	one	of	her	wittier	asides	.	degeneres'	sgt	.	rita	pompano	is	called	in	to	investigate	the	allegedly	accidental	death	of	.	.	.	wait	.	to	give	away	too	much	of	the	plot	would	all	but	ruin	a	film	that	has	very	little	going	for	it	outside	of	its	numbing	plot	twists	and	multiple	triple	crosses	.	it's	best	described	this	way	:	sultry	sexpot	real	estate	agent	sandra	dunmore	(	patricia	arquette	)	is	married	to	jake	,	a	"	creative	yet	unfocused	"	(	and	alcoholic	)	advertising	rep	,	played	by	dermot	mulroney	.	sandra	likes	to	act	out	her	deep	seated	sexual	fantasies	and	jake's	brother	ben	(	the	suave	as	ever	don	johnson	)	likes	to	help	.	ben	is	also	coming	on	to	his	petite	,	mousy	co	worker	peggy	blaine	(	mary	louise	parker	)	and	someone	,	somewhere	,	is	planning	to	cash	in	on	that	huge	life	insurance	policy	of	his	.	the	film	is	ripe	with	cheating	lovers	cheating	on	each	other	and	back	again	.	although	there	are	some	genuine	surprises	,	the	plot	twists	get	too	contrived	too	quickly	.	probably	around	the	time	degeneres'	gumcracking	gumshoe	appears	.	at	least	the	former	"	ellen	"	star	is	going	for	something	a	little	different	.	arquette	turns	in	yet	another	of	her	stiletto	heeled	,	platinum	blonde	bombshell	roles	(	see	:	"	lost	highway	,	"	"	true	romance	"	)	while	quoting	embarrassing	lines	like	"	i'm	not	wearing	any	underwear	.	"	i	hope	she	got	paid	a	lot	of	money	to	do	this	.	here's	an	example	of	some	of	the	film's	flat	out	stupidity	.	sandra	purchases	a	used	car	and	disguises	herself	in	a	red	wig	prior	to	stalking	two	of	the	film's	duplicitous	lovers	.	she	drives	the	motorbiking	couple	off	a	cliff	while	blaring	her	favorite	"	the	sound	of	music	"	on	her	car	stereo	,	intent	on	identifying	herself	to	her	hapless	victims	.	so	what	was	the	point	of	the	wig	and	the	car	?	"	the	sound	of	music	"	stuff	might	be	a	reference	to	"	the	wizard	of	oz	"	allusions	in	david	lynch's	"	wild	at	heart	,	"	but	if	so	joff	must	have	forgotten	that	"	wild	at	heart	"	was	a	despicable	movie	.	it's	hard	to	believe	that	"	goodbye	,	lover	"	was	directed	by	the	same	person	who	made	"	the	killing	fields	"	and	"	the	mission	.	"	it's	not	,	however	,	hard	to	see	why	it	sat	on	the	shelf	for	so	long	.	it	should	have	stayed	there	.
neg	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	starring	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	brandy	,	mekhi	phifer	,	matthew	settle	,	freddie	prinze	,	jr	.	,	jennifer	esposito	,	muse	watson	and	jeffrey	combs	rated	r	for	violence	,	gore	and	profanity	the	first	in	a	very	long	list	of	things	wrong	with	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	is	the	title	.	think	about	it	for	a	second	.	if	the	last	movie	was	called	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	,	wouldn't	the	next	movie	have	to	be	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	two	summers	ago	"	?	if	anyone	working	on	this	movie	had	an	i	.	q	.	greater	than	five	would	have	thought	about	it	logically	and	said	,	"	hey	.	.	.	wait	a	minute	"	.	but	alas	,	the	people	behind	this	film	are	obviously	idiots	,	so	i	won't	hold	them	to	that	.	what	i	will	hold	them	to	is	the	fact	that	they	have	a	pretty	bad	movie	on	their	hands	,	even	for	a	teenage	slasher	flick	.	i	guess	i'm	one	of	the	few	critics	who	actually	kind	of	liked	the	original	film	(	emphasis	on	the	"	kind	of	"	)	.	it	wasn't	great	or	anything	and	maybe	not	even	necessarily	good	,	but	at	least	it	didn't	have	me	glancing	at	my	watch	every	minute	or	so	like	it's	sequel	did	.	there	are	just	so	many	problems	with	this	movie	that	it's	hard	trying	to	figure	out	where	to	start	.	first	of	all	,	i	guess	,	is	the	setting	.	the	movie	offers	no	rational	reason	why	the	film	had	to	take	place	in	the	bahamas	,	other	than	the	fact	that	the	producers	wanted	a	seaside	setting	.	exactly	why	does	the	fisherman	want	to	go	through	all	the	trouble	of	faking	a	radio	contest	to	get	julie	james	(	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	one	of	the	only	survivors	of	the	first	film	)	and	her	new	college	buddies	out	to	the	islands	before	he	hacks	them	up	?	the	movie	suffers	from	this	kind	of	logic	all	the	way	through	.	in	one	scene	,	julie	is	in	a	tanning	booth	at	a	deserted	gym	when	the	hooked	fisherman	with	the	slicker	comes	in	and	seals	up	the	booth	so	the	damsel	in	distress	can't	get	out	,	no	matter	how	hard	she	tries	.	when	julie	discovers	she's	going	to	slowly	fry	to	death	,	she	screams	for	help	and	her	friends	come	to	her	rescue	.	now	,	this	is	all	fine	and	dandy	except	for	one	thing	;	instead	of	spending	five	minutes	trying	to	bust	open	the	booth	,	why	not	just	turn	the	freakin'	thing	off	?	in	another	scene	,	one	of	the	characters	,	after	having	their	significant	other	all	but	decapitated	by	the	man	in	the	slicker	,	says	to	julie	,	"	just	don't	tell	anybody	it	rained	the	whole	time	.	"	oh	yeah	,	i've	just	been	terrorized	by	a	hook	wielding	sociopath	and	had	some	of	my	best	friends	gruesomely	slaughtered	,	but	hey	,	i'll	crack	jokes	anyway	.	after	all	,	it	is	in	the	script	.	the	film's	only	saving	graces	are	a	few	well	executed	suspense	sequences	and	a	really	cool	cameo	by	the	"	re	animator	himself	,	jeffrey	combs	.	he	brings	some	good	comic	relief	and	life	to	an	otherwise	limp	movie	.	way	to	go	,	jeffrey	.	i	have	a	hunch	that	the	reason	this	film	fizzles	while	the	first	one	at	least	kept	it's	head	above	water	is	the	recent	absence	of	writer	kevin	williamson	.	with	"	scream	"	and	even	it's	sequel	,	he	displayed	a	real	talent	as	a	screenwriter	.	his	ear	for	dialogue	and	the	terrific	endings	he	puts	on	all	his	films	make	him	a	standout	from	all	the	rest	of	the	horror	writers	,	and	i	think	"	i	still	know	"	has	really	suffered	by	not	having	him	on	board	.	the	cool	atmosphere	is	still	there	this	time	around	,	but	i	just	didn't	like	the	characters	or	the	writing	as	much	as	i	did	in	the	first	one	.	even	though	the	movie	doesn't	have	williamson	,	it	still	has	a	hacky	ending	,	trying	to	do	what	kevin	did	with	the	first	two	"	scream	"	s	by	(	some	may	consider	this	a	spoiler	,	but	if	you	have	seen	any	horror	movies	whatsoever	,	then	you	should	be	able	to	guess	the	identity	of	the	madman	within	twenty	minutes	)	having	two	killers	and	,	this	time	,	having	one	of	them	being	a	family	member	to	the	other	.	i	think	someone	in	the	audience	put	it	best	when	,	after	the	movie	had	ended	with	another	"	the	killer	is	back	!	"	cliffhanger	,	he	said	"	who	is	this	time	,	the	grandma	?	"	all	in	all	,	"	i	still	know	"	tries	to	be	as	successful	as	the	first	the	film	was	,	but	really	fails	in	the	attempt	.	i	mean	,	it's	okay	when	slasher	movies	rip	off	each	other	,	but	when	they	start	copying	themselves	.	.	.	find	all	of	jason's	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	a	complimentary	movie	ticket	courtesy	of	valley	cinemas	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	movie	tickets	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	movie	tickets	.	com	a
neg	it's	hard	to	approach	the	good	and	bad	in	this	film	without	being	caught	up	a	discussion	of	the	message	of	bosna	!	,	for	this	is	a	film	that	explicitly	sets	out	to	convert	its	audience	to	its	side	,	to	make	people	aware	of	the	war	and	to	try	to	influence	them	to	pressure	their	governments	to	intervene	.	it's	a	film	that's	very	aware	of	itself	,	of	the	process	of	its	making	and	of	the	influence	it	might	have	:	for	example	,	mitterand's	visit	to	bosnia	is	portrayed	as	an	outcome	of	information	given	to	the	french	president	by	the	director	,	bernard	henri	levy	.	the	film	is	full	of	very	disturbing	images	:	a	mother	and	child	fleeing	from	snipers	in	sarajevo	;	bodies	littering	a	street	after	a	shell	has	landed	on	a	bread	queue	,	many	of	them	with	legs	or	faces	blown	off	;	starving	prisoners	staring	at	the	camera	through	the	barbed	wire	of	a	concentration	camp	.	it's	impossible	not	to	be	moved	by	the	suffering	of	these	people	,	and	difficult	not	to	feel	anger	at	the	inaction	of	the	diplomats	who	do	little	but	talk	while	people	are	fighting	for	their	lives	and	homes	.	the	film	makes	much	of	comparisons	between	western	indifference	to	bosnia	today	and	western	indifference	to	czechoslovakia	and	the	spanish	republic	in	the	1930s	.	there	is	,	suggests	levy	,	the	same	denial	,	the	same	explanations	that	it's	all	much	too	complex	to	get	involved	in	.	in	1945	people	saw	pictures	of	the	concentration	camps	in	poland	and	said	"	never	again	"	,	but	now	that	the	camps	are	back	it	seems	that	we	would	rather	deny	them	,	or	suggest	that	there's	fault	on	both	sides	,	then	determine	to	stop	the	atrocities	.	if	there	is	anything	i	don't	like	about	bosna	!	,	it	is	the	incessant	wordiness	of	the	voice	over	.	perhaps	levy	was	so	anxious	to	persuade	that	he	didn't	dare	to	let	the	audience	come	to	their	own	conclusions	.	at	times	sounding	like	a	biblical	prophet	,	at	times	hectoring	us	,	at	times	reflecting	on	how	the	war	affects	our	image	of	ourselves	as	europeans	,	the	narration	never	lets	the	eloquent	pictures	speak	for	themselves	,	pictures	that	have	more	than	enough	power	to	move	and	to	persuade	on	their	own	.
neg	rating	1	2	out	of	length	:	93	min	(	1	:	33	hours	)	director	:	les	mayfield	producer	(	s	)	:	john	hughes	,	michael	polaire	cast	:	robin	williams	,	marcia	gay	harden	,	christopher	mcdonald	,	raymond	j	.	barry	,	clancy	brown	,	ted	levine	,	wil	wheaton	,	jodi	benson	(	voice	)	as	forgetful	as	some	people	may	be	it	is	doubtful	that	anyone	could	forget	their	wedding	,	especially	three	times	.	but	,	alas	professor	brainard	somehow	manages	to	accomplish	this	feat	twice	before	the	momentous	night	that	he	actually	creates	flubber	.	it's	amazing	that	he	is	able	to	remember	any	of	the	processes	he	uses	to	make	anything	.	the	whole	point	here	is	how	could	a	man	be	so	blatantly	forgetful	.	this	is	not	absent	minded	this	is	almost	mindless	and	he	is	a	professor	.	well	,	this	is	the	case	for	about	the	first	half	of	the	movie	then	things	begin	to	settle	into	what	might	truly	be	considered	absent	minded	.	along	the	way	to	becoming	absent	minded	from	absent	of	mind	the	professor	stumbles	onto	flubber	.	thankfully	or	there	would	be	no	movie	or	any	amusement	for	the	audience	.	the	flubber	is	supposed	to	be	flying	rubber	,	but	it	seems	to	have	a	life	of	its	own	.	this	is	there	strictly	for	the	kids	.	the	properties	of	the	flubber	provide	some	antics	for	the	audience	when	flubber	coated	golfballs	and	bowling	balls	assail	two	would	be	thugs	.	although	amusing	this	is	not	original	what	so	ever	and	brings	back	haunting	memories	of	home	alone	.	the	poor	professor	has	to	save	the	university	where	he	teaches	at	,	get	his	fiancee	back	,	finally	stop	the	plotting	of	an	evil	millionaire	,	and	do	all	this	in	the	funniest	way	possible	.	admittedly	there	are	funny	moments	but	the	movie	is	rather	shallow	and	does	not	compare	very	well	to	the	original	(	the	absent	minded	professor	)	.	the	whole	scene	with	the	basketball	game	was	just	atrocious	and	totally	unbelievable	.	the	basketball	players	,	stereotypically	unqualified	for	the	sport	,	somehow	manage	to	bounce	,	fly	and	dribble	their	way	back	to	being	close	to	winning	?	this	just	sounds	too	bad	to	be	true	,	the	least	that	could	have	been	done	was	keep	semi	close	to	the	original	movie	to	give	this	film	a	chance	.	as	for	innovations	and	new	ideas	there	is	but	two	good	ones	in	this	movie	.	giving	life	to	the	flubber	,	which	is	so	poorly	executed	that	it's	best	forgotten	,	and	prof	.	brainard's	flying	robot	weebo	.	giving	life	to	the	flubber	would	have	worked	beautifully	if	it	wasn't	for	scenes	of	the	sort	where	you	have	the	flubber	dancing	around	on	tables	and	books	for	no	real	reason	other	than	to	put	in	a	bit	of	music	and	extend	the	length	of	the	movie	.	the	life	of	the	flubber	had	brief	and	rather	whimsical	moments	where	it	might	have	been	used	well	,	but	it	wasn't	and	in	the	end	might	have	done	the	movie	more	harm	than	good	.	now	,	weebo	is	a	totally	different	story	.	it's	a	robot	that	prof	.	brainard	created	but	forgot	how	and	gave	something	of	a	life	too	.	this	is	a	really	original	idea	,	well	maybe	not	,	but	it	is	an	idea	that	is	well	executed	and	in	the	end	makes	the	poor	robot	the	most	developed	and	real	character	in	the	movie	.	yes	folks	the	little	yellow	robot	has	more	emotion	and	character	than	the	characters	.	the	film	lacks	the	emotional	punch	to	pull	the	audience	in	at	all	.	the	acting	by	robin	williams	(	prof	.	brainard	)	seems	to	be	half	hearted	for	most	of	the	movie	and	in	many	cases	quite	forced	.	most	of	the	acting	in	the	movie	was	so	convincing	as	to	fool	only	the	part	of	the	audience	that	had	not	quite	yet	reached	the	age	to	12	.	people	when	stood	up	at	the	altar	,	don't	usually	give	third	chances	.	or	for	that	matter	talk	to	the	fiancee	afterwards	,	but	what	can	be	expected	this	is	a	children's	movie	.	flubber	,	as	a	movie	does	little	original	and	is	nothing	special	in	any	respect	.	with	the	best	character	in	the	movie	being	something	of	a	prop	i	doubt	that	many	people	will	find	it	all	that	great	.	it	does	have	its	amusing	moments	and	it	is	a	good	story	in	the	end	,	but	it	does	not	wash	up	to	the	original	.	kids	should	find	this	movie	amusing	and	fun	and	they'll	probably	enjoy	the	whole	movie	.	as	a	movie	it's	just	a	kids	movie	and	not	the	best	of	ones	at	that	.
neg	roger	ebert	asks	in	his	review	of	sexy	beast	,	"	who	would	have	guessed	that	the	most	savage	mad	dog	frothing	gangster	in	recent	movies	would	be	played	by	.	.	.	ben	kingsley	?	"	my	response	would	be	that	anyone	who	has	seen	alan	arkin	in	wait	until	dark	,	henry	fonda	in	once	upon	a	time	in	the	west	,	or	anthony	hopkins	in	the	silence	of	the	lambs	should	have	guessed	it	.	they	should	know	that	the	way	for	a	film	to	create	a	really	creepy	sociopath	is	cast	someone	who	generally	plays	mild	,	sympathetic	,	or	even	ineffectual	character	roles	.	the	same	characteristics	that	make	an	actor	seem	gentle	in	most	of	his	roles	can	work	in	his	favor	when	a	role	calls	for	him	to	be	fierce	and	vicious	.	that	is	the	principle	that	works	for	kingsley	in	sexy	beast	.	gary	"	gal	"	dove	(	played	by	ray	winstone	)	has	retired	from	a	london	career	of	crime	and	is	living	on	a	luxurious	villa	in	spain	.	life	has	become	a	routine	of	sunning	himself	and	relaxing	.	but	his	paradise	is	about	to	be	shattered	by	a	one	two	punch	.	the	first	punch	is	a	boulder	that	comes	rolling	down	the	hill	next	to	the	villa	.	the	second	punch	comes	from	gal's	past	.	back	in	london	gang	boss	teddy	bass	(	ian	mcshane	,	tv's	lovejoy	)	is	planning	to	break	into	a	safety	deposit	room	in	a	bank	and	he	wants	gal	.	he	sends	his	most	rabid	henchman	don	logan	(	ben	kingsley	)	to	fetch	gal	.	don	will	accept	any	decision	gal	makes	from	"	yes	"	to	"	certainly	.	"	however	,	if	gal	says	"	no	"	don	will	do	whatever	it	takes	to	turn	it	into	a	yes	including	threatening	guy's	ex	porn	star	wife	deedee	(	amanda	redman	)	.	in	the	meantime	don	knows	just	how	to	get	under	everybody's	skin	.	kingsley	makes	don	a	compact	package	of	fury	and	nastiness	.	there	are	some	serious	problems	in	louis	mellis's	and	david	scinto's	script	that	should	have	been	caught	before	filming	.	when	we	see	the	actual	crime	we	have	no	idea	why	gal	was	so	important	to	its	success	.	beyond	an	ability	to	use	skin	diving	gear	,	no	special	talents	are	required	of	him	.	any	local	hood	could	have	done	what	gal	is	needed	for	.	additionally	the	crime	involves	digging	from	a	swimming	pool	to	the	bank	vault	,	flooding	the	vault	.	no	only	could	they	have	let	the	water	out	of	the	pool	and	avoided	the	complication	altogether	,	but	there	is	by	far	too	much	water	to	be	accounted	for	by	what	was	in	the	pool	.	in	spite	of	the	provocative	title	,	the	story	is	cliched	and	overly	familiar	.	i	know	i	have	seen	all	the	plot	elements	of	sexy	beast	in	old	westerns	like	the	law	and	jake	wade	.	the	story	is	usually	of	the	reformed	outlaw	,	a	robert	taylor	type	,	who	has	hung	up	his	guns	and	is	trying	for	a	life	of	peaceful	respectability	.	the	old	gang	,	however	,	wants	to	do	one	more	job	with	their	old	buddy	and	sends	a	rabid	richard	widmark	type	to	go	and	git	im	.	it	is	not	a	great	plot	.	in	sexy	beast	even	the	plot	twists	have	gray	beards	.	perhaps	the	film	has	a	little	more	respectability	because	it	was	made	not	as	a	western	but	as	a	stylish	british	gangster	film	.	it	is	an	old	plot	dressed	up	to	look	new	.	if	the	plot	is	old	,	at	least	the	style	is	creative	.	this	is	director	jonathan	glazer's	first	film	,	but	he	has	reputedly	done	some	notable	tv	ads	for	guinness	stout	.	his	style	does	have	some	unexpected	touches	including	some	very	odd	dream	sequences	.	cinematographer	ivan	bird	uses	a	lot	of	half	lit	scenes	.	we	see	one	side	of	a	person's	faces	.	but	the	other	side	fades	into	the	darkness	,	a	sort	of	metaphor	for	the	half	world	these	characters	in	habit	.	half	of	everything	that	is	happening	is	also	kept	hidden	.	us	yanks	will	have	a	hard	time	with	some	of	the	dialog	.	at	least	in	my	theater	it	was	difficult	to	make	out	the	words	with	the	quiet	speaking	,	the	heavy	accents	,	and	the	cockney	language	.	sexy	beast	is	a	very	and	familiar	minor	plot	lent	respectability	in	the	us	by	being	done	in	what	is	here	a	still	somewhat	novel	genre	,	the	london	crime	film	.	the	plot	may	be	new	to	british	crime	films	,	but	it	would	be	overly	familiar	as	a	western	.	further	respectability	comes	from	ben	kingsley's	high	powered	performance	.	i	give	it	a	4	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	0	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
neg	directed	by	harold	ramis	.	cast	:	billy	crystal	,	robert	de	niro	,	joe	viterelli	,	lisa	kudrow	,	chazz	palminteri	,	bill	macy	,	leo	rossi	,	kyle	sabihy	,	rebecca	schull	,	molly	shannon	,	max	casella	,	pat	cooper	,	richard	castellano	,	jimmie	ray	weeks	,	elizabeth	bracco	.	1999	106	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	profanity	,	sexual	situations	,	and	violence	)	.	reviewed	march	6	,	1999	.	reading	the	cast	and	director	for	the	new	mobster	comedy	,	"	analyze	this	,	"	i	asked	myself	,	"	how	could	this	miss	?	"	robert	de	niro	(	"	taxi	driver	,	"	"	raging	bull	"	)	,	billy	crystal	(	"	city	slickers	"	)	,	lisa	kudrow	(	"	the	opposite	of	sex	"	)	,	and	director	harold	ramis	(	"	national	lampoon's	vacation	"	)	.	these	are	usually	reliable	filmmakers	(	well	,	okay	,	crystal	has	been	in	a	sizable	slump	lately	)	,	and	tellingly	,	the	first	half	hour	of	"	analyze	this	"	was	very	funny	.	unfortunately	,	as	the	running	time	ticked	away	,	i	began	to	think	that	the	first	thirty	minutes	had	,	unbeknownst	to	me	,	been	rewound	and	were	being	replayed	another	two	and	a	half	times	.	the	film	has	obtained	a	clever	premise	,	but	does	not	have	any	idea	what	to	do	with	it	as	it	progressively	becomes	more	and	more	repetitive	until	i	finally	stopped	enjoying	or	caring	about	what	was	happening	on	the	screen	.	middle	aged	psychoanalyst	ben	sobel's	(	billy	crystal	)	life	is	finally	going	very	well	.	although	he	has	never	gotten	along	with	his	own	uncaring	parents	,	especially	his	father	,	who	is	also	a	psychiatrist	,	ben	has	an	easy	going	teenage	son	(	kyle	sabihy	)	and	is	about	to	travel	down	to	miami	to	get	married	to	his	tv	news	reporter	girlfriend	,	laura	(	lisa	kudrow	)	.	in	little	but	a	flash	,	however	,	ben	suddenly	sees	his	plans	ruined	when	he	accidentally	hits	the	car	of	the	mob	and	subsequently	gets	paid	a	visit	from	famed	mafia	guy	paul	vitti	(	robert	de	niro	)	,	who	desperately	wants	counseling	,	even	though	he	himself	won't	even	admit	to	having	anxiety	attacks	.	ben	tries	to	help	paul	,	mostly	so	he	will	get	him	off	his	back	,	but	the	plot	gets	more	complicated	when	paul	follows	ben	to	his	wedding	,	which	ends	with	a	man	dropping	eight	stories	to	his	death	.	it	seems	to	ben	that	no	matter	what	he	does	,	paul	vitti	will	not	go	away	,	and	the	more	they	become	involved	,	the	more	ben's	potentially	happy	life	gets	into	danger	.	"	analyze	this	"	has	a	few	laughs	sprinkled	throughout	(	mostly	in	the	first	half	)	,	but	i	always	had	the	nagging	thought	that	what	director	ramis	and	writers	peter	tolan	,	ramis	,	and	kenneth	lonergan	had	done	was	thought	of	one	joke	(	robert	de	niro	lightly	spoofing	his	serious	past	mafia	roles	,	while	terrorizing	and	becoming	buddies	with	comic	billy	crystal	)	and	then	tiresomely	recycled	it	for	the	duration	of	the	106	minute	running	time	.	admittedly	,	de	niro	is	very	funny	here	(	and	i	can't	remember	the	last	time	you	could	use	that	adjective	to	describe	him	)	,	and	crystal	is	in	top	form	,	but	the	whole	movie	is	weighed	down	directly	on	their	shoulders	with	nothing	else	to	support	them	,	including	a	substantial	plotline	.	since	"	analyze	this	"	bills	not	one	,	not	two	,	but	three	writers	,	you'd	think	that	they	would	have	been	able	to	work	together	to	fix	the	noticably	large	flaws	,	but	they	must	have	all	been	on	auto	pilot	.	one	of	the	most	disappointing	and	wasted	opportunities	in	the	film	is	the	way	the	movie	deals	with	the	supporting	characters	,	all	of	which	have	next	to	nothing	to	do	and	aren't	even	given	multi	dimensional	characters	to	attempt	to	develop	.	coming	off	of	her	oscar	caliber	work	in	two	of	last	year's	best	films	,	"	clockwatchers	"	and	"	the	opposite	of	sex	,	"	lisa	kudrow's	throwaway	"	girlfriend	"	role	is	an	incredible	step	down	.	sure	,	kudrow's	fellow	"	friend	"	jennifer	aniston	did	the	same	thing	two	weeks	ago	in	"	office	space	,	"	but	at	least	we	got	to	spend	a	little	time	with	aniston	.	kudrow	,	meanwhile	,	mostly	just	stands	around	,	no	doubt	wondering	why	she	agreed	to	appear	in	this	film	in	the	first	place	.	chazz	palminteri	,	as	rival	gangster	primo	,	fares	even	worse	,	in	a	role	that	plays	more	like	an	afterthought	than	an	actual	character	.	finally	,	molly	shannon	(	rising	film	star	and	cast	member	on	"	saturday	night	live	"	)	has	a	rousingly	hilarious	one	scene	cameo	right	at	the	beginning	as	one	of	crystal's	patients	and	then	completely	disappears	.	too	bad	,	considering	that	the	supporting	actors	surely	have	proven	that	they	have	the	abilities	to	support	de	niro	and	crystal	.	once	"	analyze	this	"	approached	its	second	wedding	scene	leaving	kudrow's	laura	standing	alone	at	the	altar	once	again	,	i	had	become	thoroughly	annoyed	by	where	the	story	had	gone	,	and	had	mostly	lost	respect	for	the	character	we	were	supposed	to	sympathize	with	the	most	,	ben	.	afterwards	,	the	climactic	scene	with	ben	posing	as	a	fellow	mob	boss	in	place	of	the	depressed	paul	,	became	a	real	laugh	free	dead	zone	,	losing	its	last	remaining	comic	punches	.	"	analyze	this	"	proves	that	talent	can	certainly	help	any	film	out	,	but	when	the	written	material	isn't	up	to	their	level	,	what	we	are	virtually	left	with	is	a	vacuum	of	thin	air	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	mailto	:	filmfan16	aol	.	com	"	filmfan16	aol	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	cast	:	michael	madsen	,	natasha	henstridge	,	marg	helgenberger	,	justin	lazard	,	mykelti	williamson	,	george	dzundza	,	james	cromwell	director	:	peter	medak	producer	:	frank	mancuso	jr	.	screenplay	:	chris	brancato	cinematography	:	matthew	f	.	leonetti	music	:	edward	shearmur	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	mgm	the	first	species	was	a	moderately	successful	science	fiction	yarn	that	diverted	audiences	with	some	nifty	special	effects	,	a	few	well	paced	action	sequences	,	and	frequent	views	of	model	turned	actress	natasha	henstridge	sans	clothing	.	however	,	it	was	definitely	not	a	movie	that	cried	out	for	a	sequel	.	and	,	considering	the	quality	of	species	2	,	it's	obvious	that	mgm	should	have	stopped	while	they	were	ahead	.	the	only	thing	that	distinguishes	species	2	is	how	awful	it	is	.	if	you	throw	away	the	plot	,	which	is	characterized	by	a	blatant	disregard	for	intelligence	,	logic	,	coherence	,	and	consistency	,	species	2	actually	has	a	few	things	to	recommend	it	to	a	select	audience	.	of	course	,	that	audience	is	primarily	comprised	of	teenage	boys	(	who	,	at	least	in	theory	,	shouldn't	be	able	to	get	into	an	"	r	"	rated	film	)	and	connoisseurs	of	bad	movies	.	there's	enough	blood	,	gore	,	simulated	sex	,	and	bare	flesh	in	species	2	to	prevent	it	from	ever	becoming	boring	.	this	is	a	grade	z	exploitation	flick	that's	ripe	for	the	mystery	science	theater	3000	treatment	.	somewhere	,	someplace	,	i	recall	hearing	species	2	described	as	"	erotic	.	"	i	would	love	to	know	who	used	with	that	adjective	for	this	movie	,	because	he	(	or	she	)	has	a	peculiar	notion	of	eroticism	.	sure	,	there's	a	lot	of	sex	and	nudity	,	but	it's	almost	always	accompanied	by	the	ripping	open	of	a	woman's	abdomen	as	an	alien	baby	claws	its	way	free	,	splattering	blood	and	gore	in	all	directions	.	anyone	turned	on	by	that	is	not	someone	i	would	care	to	be	sitting	next	to	in	a	theater	.	i	suppose	the	main	attraction	in	species	2	is	natasha	henstridge	(	and	,	to	get	the	obvious	question	out	of	the	way	yes	,	she	does	remove	her	top	,	but	only	once	,	and	only	briefly	)	.	although	the	character	she	played	in	the	original	species	is	dead	,	government	scientists	still	have	the	dna	,	and	,	out	of	what	can	only	be	described	as	a	suicidal	impulse	,	they	decide	to	create	another	clone	.	this	creature	,	dubbed	"	eve	"	by	its	creator	,	dr	.	laura	baker	(	played	by	marg	helgenberger	,	reprising	her	role	)	,	is	genetically	engineered	to	be	kinder	and	more	docile	.	meanwhile	,	man	has	finally	set	foot	on	mars	.	a	team	of	three	,	led	by	patrick	ross	(	justin	lazard	)	,	has	traveled	to	the	red	planet	,	but	when	they	return	to	earth	,	they	bring	something	with	them	.	ross	has	become	a	half	human	half	alien	hybrid	,	and	he's	soon	mating	like	crazy	,	collecting	the	blood	soaked	children	that	are	the	result	of	each	sex	session	.	his	intention	is	obviously	world	domination	.	standing	in	his	way	is	that	indomitable	soldier	of	fortune	from	the	first	film	,	preston	lennox	(	michael	madsen	)	,	and	one	of	patrick's	fellow	astronauts	,	dennis	gamble	(	mykelti	williamson	)	.	but	when	patrick	learns	about	eve	,	a	female	of	his	kind	,	there's	no	damping	his	ardor	.	i'm	not	sure	what	the	budget	for	species	2	was	,	but	a	significant	portion	of	it	must	have	gone	into	paying	handsome	salaries	to	several	recognizable	actors	(	as	opposed	to	being	diverted	into	the	special	effects	)	.	michael	madsen	and	marg	helgenberger	,	both	back	for	a	second	round	,	are	clearly	on	hand	to	do	as	little	as	they	can	,	grab	the	money	,	and	run	.	ditto	for	james	cromwell	,	who	plays	patrick's	father	"	underused	"	is	too	kind	a	word	to	describe	his	involvement	(	"	invisible	"	would	be	more	like	it	)	.	george	dzundza	gets	to	do	a	little	scenery	chewing	as	an	angry	but	inept	general	.	meanwhile	,	justin	lazard's	performance	as	patrick	is	so	flat	that	he	makes	natasha	henstridge's	limited	abilities	look	good	by	comparison	.	the	only	one	in	the	whole	production	with	any	energy	is	mykelti	williamson	,	who	is	cast	in	the	part	of	the	wisecracking	black	sidekick	.	complete	with	cheesy	special	effects	,	bare	breasts	around	every	narrative	corner	,	and	dialogue	capable	of	producing	howls	of	laughter	,	species	2	has	been	dumped	into	the	marketplace	without	advance	screenings	for	critics	.	director	peter	medak	,	a	journeyman	film	maker	with	a	significant	list	of	mediocre	movies	on	his	resume	,	has	added	another	forgettable	title	,	but	at	least	he	appears	to	have	had	fun	doing	it	,	which	is	more	than	can	be	said	of	anyone	trying	to	take	this	film	with	even	a	scintilla	of	seriousness	.	do	i	recommend	the	movie	?	absolutely	not	,	but	i	will	admit	that	species	2	is	dopey	enough	that	it	didn't	try	my	patience	to	the	degree	that	some	pseudo	intellectual	bad	movies	do	.	here's	hoping	there's	no	species	3	.
neg	senseless	is	a	prime	example	of	what	can	happen	when	you	try	to	push	a	one	joke	concept	a	bit	too	far	.	director	penelope	spheeris	is	no	stranger	to	this	,	having	subjected	audiences	before	to	such	tortures	as	the	beverly	hillbillies	.	marlon	wayans	stars	as	darryl	witherspoon	,	a	college	senior	vying	for	a	lucrative	job	at	a	prominent	brokerage	.	however	,	he	lacks	the	advantages	of	his	chief	opposition	,	scott	thorpe	(	david	spade	,	in	the	smarmy	sort	of	role	he	can	deliver	in	his	sleep	)	:	an	athletic	record	,	sponsorship	by	a	fraternity	,	and	,	most	of	all	,	a	wealthy	family	to	back	him	up	.	in	fact	,	darryl	has	to	work	at	four	jobs	simply	to	make	ends	meet	.	but	there	may	be	a	light	at	the	end	of	that	tunnel	.	he	signs	up	as	a	human	guinea	pig	in	a	neurological	experiment	run	by	the	university's	dr	.	wheedon	(	brad	dourif	)	.	as	a	result	,	his	senses	are	magnified	tenfold	.	using	his	newfound	abilities	,	he	sets	himself	in	complete	pursuit	of	the	job	(	unaware	that	there	may	be	some	disadvantageous	side	effects	to	having	super	senses	)	.	naturally	,	marlon	wayans	plays	this	comedy	at	full	throttle	,	giving	jim	carrey	ish	amounts	of	physical	humor	.	the	problem	is	,	aside	from	a	few	genuinely	inspired	bits	,	there's	not	much	that's	funny	here	.	the	film	has	it's	one	central	gag	,	and	pads	out	the	rest	of	its	length	with	rather	obvious	lowbrow	humor	.	there	obviously	wasn't	much	thought	put	into	the	plot	.	the	entire	job	selection	process	is	completely	ridiculous	.	i	mean	,	why	the	emphasis	on	extra	curricular	activities	if	the	entire	job	is	going	to	come	down	to	a	single	elimination	quiz	anyhow	?	and	is	this	the	only	job	being	offered	to	economics	majors	this	semester	?	to	give	it	credit	,	senseless	does	try	to	create	a	secondary	joke	with	darryl's	roommate	,	tim	laflour	(	matthew	lillard	)	.	apparently	,	he	is	supposed	to	be	faddish	,	but	the	film	never	does	anything	with	him	,	leaving	him	in	a	piercing	phase	throughout	the	movie	.	his	"	intervention	"	scenes	with	darryl	,	however	,	do	provide	a	rare	,	and	welcome	,	laugh	.	and	then	there's	the	love	interest	which	is	always	pathetically	tacked	onto	comedies	like	this	one	.	in	this	case	,	the	object	of	darryl's	amor	is	janice	(	tamara	taylor	)	,	a	fellow	student	who	won't	have	anything	to	do	with	darryl	until	he	gains	his	super	senses	.	needless	to	say	,	the	romance	is	completely	extraneous	,	and	adds	little	to	the	film	.	this	is	a	film	that	desperately	needed	something	else	.	be	that	a	good	plot	,	more	jokes	(	or	simply	funnier	ones	)	,	or	a	strong	character	or	two	,	anything	would	have	helped	senseless	get	off	the	ground	.	as	it	is	,	all	the	manic	exuberant	mugging	in	the	world	can't	help	marlon	wayans	get	this	one	off	the	ground	.
neg	these	days	the	lack	of	originality	in	hollywood	reflects	itself	in	the	deluge	of	remakes	.	but	,	only	a	few	years	ago	,	before	wes	craven	publicly	made	fun	of	the	practice	,	sequels	had	been	more	popular	among	hollywood	producers	.	sequels	also	used	to	be	popular	among	directors	and	movie	stars	whose	careers	went	south	.	the	way	to	regain	popularity	and	prestige	,	they	thought	,	was	the	use	the	same	formulas	,	characters	and	story	lines	that	brought	them	success	in	the	first	place	.	one	of	such	celebrity	was	eddie	murphy	,	black	comedian	of	1980s	whose	career	was	in	big	decline	during	the	first	part	of	this	decade	.	in	order	to	return	to	the	spotlight	,	he	chose	to	resurrect	the	franchise	created	by	his	most	popular	film	,	beverly	hills	cop	,	1984	action	comedy	that	had	already	spawned	the	sequel	in	1987	.	seven	years	later	,	for	the	third	instalment	,	he	used	the	directorial	service	of	john	landis	,	another	fading	star	,	with	whom	he	successfully	collaborated	twice	in	trading	places	and	coming	to	america	.	this	time	,	however	,	third	time	wasn't	the	charm	and	beverly	hills	iii	was	failure	.	eddie	murphy	had	to	wait	few	more	years	for	real	comeback	.	eddie	murphy	here	plays	axel	foley	,	fast	talking	streetwise	detroit	policeman	,	who	raids	illegal	chop	shop	.	the	routine	police	action	ends	in	tragedy	,	when	the	criminals	kill	foley's	boss	.	determined	to	bring	the	killers	to	justice	,	foley	realises	that	their	leader	is	ellis	de	wald	(	timothy	carhart	)	.	when	it	turns	out	that	de	wald	happens	to	be	security	chief	for	wonderland	theme	park	in	los	angeles	,	foley	goes	back	to	los	angeles	.	there	,	with	the	help	of	his	old	friend	,	local	policeman	rosewood	(	judge	rheinhold	)	,	foley	would	clash	with	money	counterfeit	ring	.	ten	years	has	passed	since	the	original	and	times	are	definitely	different	.	in	this	decade	,	the	contrast	between	blue	collar	detroit	and	yuppie	beverly	hills	,	which	provided	a	lot	of	gags	in	1984	film	,	simply	doesn't	work	.	screenwriter	steven	e	.	de	souza	provides	another	conflict	,	this	time	between	the	childish	sillyness	of	the	good	guys	and	business	like	professionalism	of	the	bad	guys	.	since	foley	belongs	to	the	former	,	his	character	had	to	watch	his	language	,	and	the	tone	of	the	film	in	general	is	more	infantile	.	unfortunately	,	this	film	still	belongs	to	action	movie	genre	,	and	there	is	too	much	violence	for	little	children	.	nice	example	is	the	humorous	scene	in	the	beginning	,	which	turns	into	standard	ramboesque	bloodbath	.	unlike	donner	with	the	lethal	weapon	series	,	landis	simply	can't	balance	the	comedy	with	"	regular	"	action	,	and	the	result	is	a	film	that	fails	in	both	aspects	.	action	scenes	are	sometimes	interesting	,	but	not	too	spectacular	(	at	the	end	,	scenery	of	wonderland	is	more	fascinating	than	the	action	itself	)	;	humour	,	on	the	other	hand	,	falls	flat	.	to	make	even	worse	,	some	minor	characters	from	1984	film	gets	unnecessary	and	sometimes	irritating	overexposure	(	especially	art	expert	turned	into	arms	dealer	,	played	by	bronson	pinchot	)	.	in	the	end	,	although	the	film	provided	some	entertainment	,	viewers	,	at	least	critical	ones	,	would	probably	be	happy	to	know	that	there	aren't	any	plans	for	beverly	hills	iv	.
neg	in	michael	corrente's	"	outside	providence	"	,	the	first	image	we	see	is	that	of	a	boy	on	his	bicycle	.	behind	him	,	tied	to	his	bike	with	a	rope	,	is	a	kid	in	a	wheelchair	,	throwing	newspapers	to	people's	houses	.	tied	to	the	wheelchair	is	a	three	legged	dog	,	limping	for	his	life	.	we've	seen	this	picture	before	,	now	haven't	we	?	if	"	we	"	have	seen	a	film	by	peter	and	bobby	farrelly	,	then	yes	,	we	have	.	but	then	again	,	the	farrelly	brothers'	three	films	(	"	dumb	and	dumber	"	,	"	kingpin	"	and	"	there's	something	about	mary	"	)	all	had	something	going	for	them	.	a	hilarious	sense	of	humor	and	an	aura	of	unpredictabililty	.	"	outside	providence	"	,	which	is	based	on	the	"	semi	autobiography	"	of	peter	farrelly	,	shares	neither	of	these	two	qualities	,	and	doesn't	have	much	to	offer	.	peter	farrelly's	alias	in	the	film	is	tim	dunphy	(	shawn	hatosy	)	,	a	teenager	who	lives	in	1970's	pawtucket	,	rhode	island	with	his	wheelchair	bound	little	brother	and	his	alcoholic	,	aggressive	father	(	alec	baldwin	)	,	who	refers	to	tim	as	"	dildo	"	.	tim	lives	a	somewhat	bored	existence	in	pawtucket	,	where	he	spends	his	time	going	to	parties	and	getting	high	with	his	friends	.	however	,	when	he	accidentally	crashes	into	a	parked	police	car	,	he	is	given	no	choice	but	to	spend	his	senior	year	at	cornwall	academy	,	a	strict	co	ed	private	high	school	.	tim	makes	a	few	new	friends	,	and	manages	to	break	just	about	every	rule	the	school	has	.	but	it	isn't	until	he	meets	jane	weston	(	amy	smart	)	,	the	best	looking	and	perhaps	smartest	girl	in	school	,	that	he	begins	let	go	and	just	try	to	have	fun	.	and	of	course	,	through	jane	,	tim	learns	about	real	love	,	and	starts	to	do	better	in	school	.	"	outside	providence	"	also	relies	on	a	small	subplot	which	has	old	man	dunphy	(	alec	baldwin	)	and	some	of	his	buddies	sitting	around	playing	cards	.	in	one	particular	scene	,	a	guy	named	joey	(	george	wendt	)	admits	to	being	gay	,	and	the	guys	kick	him	out	of	the	house	.	this	scene	and	another	awful	subplot	involving	tim's	dead	mother	make	up	the	dramatic	core	of	the	film	,	which	is	not	good	news	.	not	only	is	"	outside	providence	"	a	story	we	seem	to	have	seen	before	,	it	is	also	a	very	poorly	made	film	.	it's	predictable	,	corny	,	unfunny	and	gratuitous	.	why	do	i	have	a	good	feeling	that	the	farrelly	brothers	were	forced	into	adding	a	three	legged	dog	and	a	barfing	scene	?	maybe	because	i	took	a	look	at	miramax's	marketing	push	behind	the	movie	.	the	acting	isn't	very	good	either	.	shawn	hatosy	and	amy	smart	are	one	dimensional	as	the	leads	,	and	even	a	"	different	"	performance	by	alec	baldwin	,	who	surprisingly	takes	a	supporting	role	here	,	is	only	marginally	good	.	"	outside	providence	"	,	the	book	by	peter	farrelly	,	was	blasted	by	critics	,	so	it	doesn't	surprise	me	that	the	farrelly	brothers	would	be	the	ones	adapting	it	for	the	screen	.	being	a	farrelly	brothers	movie	,	the	movie	obviously	has	some	fun	scenes	,	but	the	film	as	a	whole	feels	pointless	,	and	without	direction	,	thanks	in	a	large	part	to	first	time	director	michael	corrente	.	miramax	films	has	made	some	very	smart	moves	in	the	past	few	years	,	and	financing	this	piece	of	recycled	trash	was	not	one	of	them	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	teenagemoviecritic	.	8m	.	com	"	http	:	teenagemoviecritic	.	8m	.	com	a	this	review	is	also	featured	at	a	href	"	http	:	jump	.	to	moviepage	"	http	:	jump	.	to	moviepage	a	hr	get	free	voicemail	,	fax	and	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	voicemail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	voicemail	.	excite	.	com	a	talk	online	at	a	href	"	http	:	voicechat	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	voicechat	.	excite	.	com	a
neg	old	soldiers	never	die	,	they	just	turn	into	clichesthe	warrior	and	the	lover	are	two	personality	aspects	that	find	it	difficult	to	exist	in	the	same	body	.	jungian	archetypes	,	these	two	opposites	need	each	other	to	create	a	whole	,	but	it's	difficult	to	integrate	both	.	often	we'll	encounter	lovers	who	think	everything	is	just	wonderful	and	,	with	the	help	of	jung's	magician	,	sit	around	imagining	grand	schemes	.	without	the	drive	to	manifest	their	plans	,	much	less	the	wisdom	to	recognize	the	darkness	,	all	they	have	are	dreams	.	warriors	on	the	other	hand	,	are	ready	to	go	to	war	at	the	drop	of	a	hat	,	and	will	do	combat	with	every	last	bit	of	their	energy	.	they	don't	care	enough	about	anything	to	know	what's	worth	fighting	for	:	gladiators	who	live	only	for	the	battle	.	this	dichotomy	not	only	describes	individuals	that	we	all	know	,	but	can	also	illustrate	societies	.	america	during	the	late	sixties	was	a	conflict	between	old	style	cold	warriors	and	the	new	hippie	lovers	.	todd	3465	(	kurt	russell	)	is	a	living	,	breathing	archetype	.	chosen	from	birth	as	a	soldier	,	he	is	raised	by	the	government	to	be	a	killing	machine	.	his	childhood	is	cruelty	and	competition	.	he	is	indoctrinated	with	the	big	rules	.	never	question	authority	.	winning	is	everything	.	strength	beats	knowledge	.	a	veteran	of	numerous	intergalactic	wars	,	todd	is	40	and	he's	obsolete	.	a	new	generation	of	genetically	engineered	soldiers	are	faster	and	stronger	.	left	for	dead	after	a	test	battle	with	the	best	of	the	new	killers	,	caine	607	(	jason	scott	lee	)	,	he's	unceremoniously	dumped	as	trash	on	arcadia	234	,	a	garbage	world	.	obviously	our	hero	is	still	alive	.	he	finds	a	group	of	shipwrecked	settlers	abandoned	on	the	planet	who	nurse	him	back	to	health	.	when	the	peace	loving	colonists	get	a	good	look	at	who	todd	is	,	they	are	afraid	of	him	and	he	is	exiled	to	live	by	himself	amid	the	junk	on	an	environmentally	hostile	world	.	they	are	the	other	good	guys	.	these	lovers	find	that	they	need	a	warrior	when	the	military	coincidentally	chooses	this	world	to	conduct	exercises	for	their	improved	human	weapons	.	todd	finds	himself	in	the	role	of	protector	.	what	could	have	been	a	fascinating	look	at	the	roles	played	in	our	culture	and	the	fears	of	an	ultra	right	wing	future	is	ruined	by	turning	the	film	into	a	cartoon	.	the	effects	are	mostly	second	rate	explosions	or	jerky	slow	motion	.	the	plot	is	old	hat	.	we	don't	get	even	a	glimpse	at	the	society	that	created	the	soldiers	.	hardly	anything	makes	sense	.	the	film's	science	fares	badly	.	with	all	the	remarkable	advances	we've	made	in	just	37	years	(	the	film	takes	place	in	2036	)	,	we're	still	stupid	.	after	conquering	the	stars	,	for	some	reason	we	use	vast	amounts	of	energy	to	load	up	huge	space	ships	with	rubbish	tote	it	to	a	landfill	light	years	away	.	even	stranger	,	the	garbage	barges	appear	to	double	as	time	machines	.	virtually	all	the	trash	is	vintage	1960	.	there	is	nothing	in	the	story	that	is	not	predictable	.	the	first	thing	that	todd	sees	after	coming	back	to	life	is	sandra	(	connie	nielsen	)	,	the	woman	just	a	little	too	beautiful	to	be	living	in	such	harsh	conditions	who	is	taking	care	of	him	.	it	doesn't	take	a	genius	to	foresee	that	her	husband	isn't	going	to	be	around	much	longer	.	is	it	a	shock	to	find	out	that	the	film's	climax	is	an	unarmed	battle	between	todd	and	caine	?	who	would	you	guess	wins	?	some	of	the	scenes	would	work	if	this	were	a	comedy	.	todd's	first	awakening	of	human	emotion	comes	when	he	glimpses	connie's	nipple	poking	through	her	thin	blouse	.	later	as	he	sits	by	his	lonely	campfire	,	a	tear	rolls	down	his	dramatically	lighted	cheek	in	slow	motion	.	supposedly	this	clich	isn't	meant	to	be	humorous	.	dastardly	col	.	mekum	(	jason	isaacs	)	with	a	pencil	thin	mustache	is	as	real	as	snidley	whiplash	.	responsible	for	last	year's	quirky	and	visually	enticing	but	problematic	"	the	fifth	element	"	,	director	paul	anderson	sees	the	film	as	"	shane	"	in	outer	space	.	maybe	,	if	shane	were	played	by	sylvester	stallone	in	rambo	mode	.	the	movie	doesn't	even	work	as	an	action	film	.	there	is	never	a	question	as	to	the	outcome	.	somehow	the	new	superior	soldiers	don't	prove	much	of	a	match	for	todd	.	the	acting	isn't	anything	to	write	home	about	.	nielsen	almost	comes	across	as	a	real	person	but	is	soon	relegated	to	a	background	victim	.	russell	is	buffed	up	and	does	a	credible	job	but	it's	not	much	of	a	challenge	.	uttering	around	100	words	during	the	film	,	mostly	what	todd	does	is	hit	things	and	stare	grimly	into	space	.	gary	busey	as	todd's	commanding	officer	is	completely	wasted	in	his	low	key	role	.	everything	blows	up	and	occasionally	it	looks	cool	.	sometimes	the	sets	are	impressive	.	unfortunately	"	occasionally	"	and	"	sometimes	"	don't	make	a	film	.	most	disappointing	is	that	the	screenplay	is	by	david	webb	peoples	who	wrote	"	blade	runner	"	,	possibly	the	best	science	fiction	movie	ever	made	.	sharp	eyed	viewers	will	notice	a	few	obscure	references	to	that	film	.	peoples	says	that	this	is	not	a	"	blade	runner	"	sequel	,	but	a	"	sidequel	"	that	takes	place	in	the	same	universe	.	although	that	may	have	been	the	intent	in	his	original	script	,	the	result	is	more	like	a	bad	television	series	that	the	"	blade	runner	"	replicants	watch	to	pass	time	.	perhaps	those	artificial	humans	would	find	this	entertaining	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	23	years	and	wants	to	wish	everyone	an	appropriate	halloween	.	.	.	whatever	you'd	like	it	to	be	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	10	29	98	"	bloomington	independent	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	"	redman	indepen	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indepen	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	indepen	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	if	i	were	to	plot	a	graph	of	year	against	movie	plot	ridiculity	for	hollywood	movies	,	you'll	probably	see	a	line	with	constant	gradient	.	now	,	if	i	were	to	plot	that	same	graph	for	the	movies	that	the	michael	bay	jerry	bruckheimer	has	made	over	the	last	4	years	,	that	line	would	be	exponential	in	growth	.	the	team	started	out	with	the	will	smith	vehicle	bad	boys	which	was	no	more	than	a	2hr	long	action	music	video	,	nevertheless	entertaining	.	then	came	the	rock	,	where	audiences	flocked	to	see	nicholas	cage	team	up	with	sean	connery	against	some	terrorizing	general	fighting	over	some	stupid	cause	.	con	air	was	ridiculousy	dumb	in	its	premise	but	it	did	have	fun	moments	,	and	who	can	forget	the	nursery	rhyme	sang	by	that	psycho	killer	played	by	steve	buscemi	.	while	these	movies	worked	because	there	was	something	better	to	cover	up	the	dirt	,	armageddon	does	not	.	very	much	like	deep	impact	,	a	meteor	is	heading	towards	earth	and	they	didn't	realize	it	until	18	days	from	impact	.	deep	impact	settled	with	the	modest	meteor	size	as	large	as	the	city	of	new	york	but	armageddon	just	had	to	be	bigger	.	.	.	.	well	about	the	size	of	texas	(	that	kinda	meteor	whould	probably	knock	earth	out	of	its	orbit	!	)	.	the	panic	of	this	sighting	spurs	the	idea	of	landing	people	on	the	meteor	,	drill	it	then	nuke	it	(	sounds	familiar	)	and	who	better	to	do	such	a	job	than	harry	stamper	(	bruce	willis	)	,	your	very	own	oil	driller	extraordinaire	and	his	team	of	macho	misfits	,	nursing	the	tagline	there	ain't	nothin'	on	this	planet	that	harry	can't	drill	!	'	.	in	that	18	days	,	harry's	group	was	split	into	2	teams	,	trained	for	deep	space	flight	and	finally	blasted	into	space	in	with	special	drilling	vehicles	on	2	new	space	shuttles	.	the	main	relationship	drama	of	armageddon	is	formed	within	the	relationship	of	harry	,	a	.	j	.	and	grace	.	to	give	you	an	idea	,	a	.	j	.	works	for	harry	,	and	loves	grace	,	harry's	daughter	.	the	problem	is	,	harry	hates	to	see	his	daughter	hanging	around	some	scruffy	grunt	like	himself	for	the	rest	of	her	life	.	so	while	a	.	j	.	and	harry	struts	it	out	,	grace	is	place	in	a	position	where	she	is	unable	to	take	sides	,	so	she	remains	seated	in	the	nasa	control	tower	,	crying	over	both	of	them	in	about	80	of	the	movie	.	the	human	elements	this	movie	tries	to	inject	proves	to	be	nothing	more	than	just	an	excuse	for	more	slow	mo's	and	gold	tinted	photography	.	the	anguish	of	the	world	is	potrayed	with	scenes	of	people	praying	,	running	for	their	lives	or	just	sitting	still	staring	at	the	sky	,	sounds	fine	right	?	i	know	,	but	it	looks	too	out	of	place	on	screen	,	too	staged	.	if	you	were	to	ask	yourself	,	what's	the	difference	between	armageddon	and	a	r	b	music	video	?	"	you'd	probably	just	said	the	music	.	"	.	not	surprising	since	michael	bay	is	a	child	of	that	industry	and	has	actually	managed	to	transpose	his	mtv	skills	to	screen	successfully	.	his	foray	into	armageddon	just	proves	that	he	doesn't	when	to	stop	.	well	there's	really	nothing	much	to	sum	up	here	.	the	stock	aitken	waterman	of	hollywood	movies	have	projected	their	art	form	into	ridiculity	,	beyond	the	plane	believability	,	where	people	still	accept	even	if	they	didn't	believe	.	deep	impact	was	ridiculous	in	most	aspects	and	i	believe	the	makers	know	this	.	the	thing	is	,	they	decided	to	shroud	myth	and	fantasy	with	a	purely	believable	human	tale	of	suffering	and	coming	in	terms	with	ones	problems	,	which	ultimately	brought	it	above	the	ashes	which	it	had	initially	put	itself	in	.	armageddon	,	is	an	overcrowded	,	loud	,	messy	,	preposterously	manipulative	waste	of	money	and	deserves	to	remain	in	that	same	pile	of	ash	.	.	20	if	you	have	planned	to	watched	this	over	deep	impact	because	of	liv	tyler	,	bruce	willis	or	the	tagline	"	from	the	makers	of	the	rock'	!	!	"	.	please	catch	deep	impact	before	it	finishes	its	run	,	it	may	be	the	only	meteor	worth	watching	in	long	long	time	.	if	you	have	to	see	it	,	please	bring	ear	plugs	and	some	aspirins	(	for	the	vertigo	)	.	expect	armageddon	ld's	to	retail	at	s	19	.	90	at	carrefour	come	release	time	.	gee	.	.	.	.	.	.	even	that's	not	worth	it	!
neg	starring	kate	capshaw	,	tom	everett	scott	,	blythe	danner	,	tom	selleck	,	ellen	degeneres	.	rated	pg	13	.	it's	actually	not	so	bad	that	dreamworks	decided	to	release	the	love	letter	at	about	the	same	time	as	star	wars	episode	i	:	the	phantom	menace	,	because	this	way	less	people	will	have	to	sit	through	this	dreadful	little	comedy	.	and	no	,	i	really	don't	feel	guilty	about	wishing	this	movie	death	at	the	box	office	.	really	,	i	don't	.	not	at	all	.	the	plot	has	been	done	before	a	mysterious	,	unaddressed	love	letter	shows	up	in	a	small	town	,	causing	confusion	for	everyone	who	reads	it	.	the	center	of	the	ensuing	disaster	is	bookstore	owner	helen	(	kate	capshaw	,	and	by	the	way	,	what	is	it	with	bookstore	owner	main	characters	?	in	the	past	year	and	a	half	we've	seen	them	in	life	is	beautiful	,	you've	got	mail	,	this	movie	,	and	the	upcoming	notting	hill	)	,	who	finds	the	letter	in	between	couch	cushions	in	the	bookstore	.	she	immediately	starts	testing	other	people	to	see	who	it	might	be	from	,	and	comes	to	the	(	incorrect	)	conclusion	that	the	author	of	the	note	is	a	young	employee	played	by	tom	everett	scott	.	he	,	reading	the	letter	himself	,	assumes	that	she	wrote	it	for	him	.	after	a	while	,	they	fall	in	love	(	well	,	duh	)	.	kate	feels	guilty	about	getting	in	a	relationship	with	someone	more	than	twenty	years	younger	than	her	,	and	she	also	feels	guilty	because	at	the	same	time	she	is	also	involved	with	the	town	fireman	(	tom	selleck	)	.	to	add	to	her	turmoil	,	her	mother	shows	up	(	blythe	danner	,	who	apparently	must	have	had	her	daughter	when	she	was	about	9	)	and	her	trusted	bookstore	manager	(	deadpan	ellen	degeneres	)	quits	.	supporting	characters	aren't	called	supporting	for	nothing	.	their	purpose	isn't	just	to	move	the	plot	along	,	they're	also	supposed	to	give	the	storyline	a	backbone	.	to	do	this	,	they	must	exhibit	at	least	marginal	depth	and	must	also	be	interesting	.	rarely	can	a	movie	work	if	it	puts	an	interesting	protagonist	in	the	middle	and	surrounds	her	with	hackneyed	,	dull	,	cardboard	secondary	characters	,	especially	when	at	the	core	of	the	movie	is	the	protagonist's	various	interactions	with	them	.	this	is	the	love	letter's	damning	error	.	capshaw's	character	is	as	good	as	i	have	seen	present	in	recent	romantic	comedies	,	but	the	people	that	surround	her	are	all	either	underwritten	or	purely	one	dimensional	.	because	of	that	,	the	love	letter	is	awkward	and	insincere	.	even	worse	it's	a	bore	.	i	liked	capshaw	and	her	helen	,	but	everyone	else	is	painfully	fake	,	undermining	the	little	drama	or	sexual	tension	that	has	the	potential	to	exist	.	there	is	nothing	particularly	hilarious	about	all	this	either	and	besides	degeneres'	wisecracks	,	there's	little	that	is	even	a	little	amusing	.	this	is	not	a	completely	thoughtless	film	and	director	peter	ho	sun	chan	does	a	good	job	of	portraying	helen's	yearnings	and	various	subtle	complexities	.	but	it's	far	from	profound	.	there	isn't	a	common	theme	running	through	the	proceedings	,	thus	the	movie	seems	thoughtfully	pointless	.	really	,	this	is	a	harmless	little	movie	;	it's	far	from	an	abomination	and	it's	not	torturous	to	sit	through	.	but	bad	,	it	is	.	awful	,	it	also	is	.	the	love	letter	is	a	failure	,	and	an	inane	failure	at	that	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
neg	directed	by	dominic	sena	.	screenplay	by	scott	rosenberg	.	starring	nicolas	cage	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	delroy	lindo	.	running	time	:	121	minutes	.	rated	aa	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	june	11th	,	2000	.	movies	like	"	gone	in	60	seconds	"	boggle	my	mind	.	here	we	have	a	cast	of	academy	award	winning	actors	.	we	have	a	scenario	that	promises	lots	of	high	octane	action	and	excitement	.	we	have	a	screenplay	written	by	scott	rosenberg	,	who	penned	the	entertaining	"	con	air	"	.	we	have	that	film's	producer	,	jerry	bruckheimer	,	who	has	also	overseen	such	thrilling	fare	as	"	the	rock	"	,	"	crimson	tide	"	and	"	beverly	hills	cop	"	(	although	,	it	should	be	noted	,	also	masterminded	that	most	gratuitous	waste	of	celluloid	,	"	armageddon	"	)	.	and	yet	despite	these	promising	ingredients	,	we	have	a	movie	that	just	doesn't	deliver	.	"	gone	in	60	seconds	"	feels	like	it	can	barely	get	out	of	neutral	,	let	alone	shift	into	high	gear	.	nicolas	cage	plays	"	memphis	"	raines	,	formerly	california's	best	car	thief	and	now	retired	to	run	a	gas	station	and	go	kart	track	.	unbeknownst	to	memphis	,	his	brother	kip	(	giovanni	ribisi	)	has	followed	in	his	footsteps	and	is	trying	to	make	his	own	name	boosting	autos	.	but	kip	messes	up	one	night	while	on	the	job	for	raymond	calitri	(	christopher	eccleston	)	,	who	took	over	when	memphis	left	town	.	contacting	memphis	,	calitri	informs	him	that	he	needs	to	steal	fifty	rare	cars	in	the	space	of	four	days	,	or	kip	will	be	killed	.	reluctantly	agreeing	to	reenter	his	old	profession	,	memphis	starts	getting	back	in	touch	with	members	of	his	old	gang	,	including	mentor	otto	(	robert	duvall	)	and	ex	girlfriend	sway	(	angelina	jolie	)	;	kip	brings	along	his	own	young	accomplices	to	fill	out	the	ranks	.	but	by	the	time	the	team	has	been	assembled	and	the	reconnaissance	carried	out	,	only	twenty	four	hours	remain	before	calitri's	deadline	,	forcing	memphis	and	his	friends	to	boost	the	fifty	cars	in	a	single	night	.	and	to	add	to	their	troubles	,	they	must	contend	with	veteran	cop	roland	castlebeck	(	delroy	lindo	)	,	who	missed	his	chance	to	nab	memphis	once	,	and	does	not	intend	to	let	it	pass	him	by	again	.	"	gone	in	60	seconds	"	is	based	loosely	on	the	popular	1974	drive	in	feature	by	hb	halicki	,	and	i	headed	into	the	theatre	expecting	one	of	those	movies	which	sacrificed	plot	and	characterisation	in	favour	of	relentless	excitement	.	i	was	half	right	:	there's	not	much	plot	and	not	much	characterisation	,	but	it	takes	an	hour	and	a	half	before	the	film	even	starts	trying	to	get	the	adrenalin	pumping	.	the	big	problem	with	the	movie	is	that	it	feels	like	it	was	made	from	the	first	draft	of	the	script	rather	than	the	final	version	.	rosenberg's	storytelling	is	extremely	clumsy	.	after	a	mildly	entertaining	opening	bit	,	we	are	sucked	into	a	dull	and	overlong	middle	section	in	which	memphis	brings	together	his	team	,	checks	out	the	cars	,	and	reencounters	old	sparring	partner	castlebeck	.	not	only	is	all	this	extremely	tedious	,	it	feels	almost	unnecessary	.	rosenberg	is	obviously	trying	to	give	each	of	the	players	a	distinctive	personality	but	lacks	the	skill	to	do	so	,	and	would	have	been	better	off	spotlighting	just	a	handful	.	the	result	is	that	memphis'	team	consists	of	a	dozen	people	all	with	minimal	characterisation	,	and	none	of	whom	we	end	up	caring	very	much	about	.	this	is	particularly	unfortunate	because	it	means	that	some	very	talented	actors	like	duvall	,	ribisi	and	jolie	are	pretty	much	wasted	in	roles	that	struggle	for	screen	time	.	duvall	,	for	example	,	is	consigned	to	standing	around	a	warehouse	most	of	the	time	.	jolie	appears	just	long	enough	to	remind	us	of	the	tremendous	charisma	she	brings	to	any	role	,	and	make	us	wish	her	part	was	more	significant	.	eccleston	,	as	the	malevolent	calitri	,	seems	like	he	could	have	been	a	delightfully	cartoonish	sort	of	villain	,	but	appears	only	briefly	,	in	the	film's	first	and	last	half	hours	.	cage	,	meanwhile	,	seems	to	be	on	autopilot	as	memphis	;	he	does	what	he	can	with	the	paltry	material	,	but	there	is	no	real	enthusiasm	to	the	performance	.	cage	lowers	himself	to	the	standards	of	the	script	,	rather	than	trying	to	bring	it	up	to	his	own	level	.	examples	of	these	low	standards	litter	"	gone	in	60	seconds	"	.	there	are	some	sequences	which	are	so	contrived	,	and	feel	so	obviously	shoehorned	into	the	plot	,	that	i	found	myself	shaking	my	head	in	the	theatre	.	for	example	,	late	in	the	film	,	one	of	kip's	friends	a	computer	wizard	who	usually	stays	behind	a	laptop	rather	than	heading	out	into	the	field	suddenly	demands	to	go	on	a	heist	.	that	he	nearly	screws	everything	up	should	come	as	a	surprise	to	no	one	.	rosenberg's	dialogue	also	verges	on	the	excruciating	at	several	points	;	calitri	is	described	as	coming	after	kip	"	like	stains	on	a	mattress	"	,	for	instance	.	"	gone	in	60	seconds	"	finally	gets	moving	when	after	an	hour	and	a	half	gasp	,	shock	we	finally	get	some	car	chases	.	these	are	undeniably	engrossing	,	although	i	was	disappointed	that	they	weren't	a	little	more	inventive	.	certainly	,	they	are	inferior	to	such	memorable	chase	sequences	as	,	say	,	gene	hackman's	in	"	the	french	connection	"	.	they	are	also	somewhat	hamstrung	by	dominic	sena's	otherwise	competent	direction	.	more	than	once	,	sena	is	unable	to	keep	the	depiction	of	the	car	chases	fluid	and	coherent	,	and	this	difficulty	in	following	the	action	works	against	its	entertainment	value	.	but	perhaps	the	worst	thing	that	can	be	said	about	the	car	chases	is	that	they	lead	up	to	the	film's	routine	,	lacklustre	and	faintly	ludicrous	conclusion	.	it	is	here	that	the	laziness	of	rosenberg's	script	is	most	evident	,	giving	us	an	ending	which	not	only	steals	from	every	other	b	grade	action	movie	,	but	also	totally	dismisses	one	of	his	principals'	established	characterisation	.	as	mindless	summer	entertainment	,	"	gone	in	60	seconds	"	isn't	bad	,	but	even	the	most	avid	action	fan	is	likely	to	be	turned	off	by	the	movie's	lethargic	pacing	.	compared	to	the	film's	two	hour	running	time	,	the	twenty	minutes	or	so	of	car	chases	seems	paltry	,	given	that	the	anticipation	of	these	scenes	is	the	movie's	main	selling	point	.	"	gone	in	60	seconds	"	will	make	you	wish	you'd	been	gone	from	the	theatre	in	a	lot	less	than	119	minutes	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	gonein60seconds	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	gonein60seconds	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
neg	director	:	ron	underwood	cast	:	bill	paxton	,	charlize	theron	,	david	paymer	,	regina	king	,	naveen	andrews	screenplay	:	mark	rosenthal	,	lawrence	konner	producers	:	ted	hartley	,	tom	jacobson	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	walt	disney	productions	rated	pg	:	action	violence	,	mild	language	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonmighty	joe	young	blunders	about	for	nearly	twenty	minutes	before	we	actually	get	to	see	a	great	big	gorilla	.	his	entrance	,	however	,	is	a	grand	one	:	out	from	the	trees	he	leaps	,	gargantuan	and	imposing	,	sporting	hands	big	enough	to	crush	a	volkswagen	bug	,	and	a	pair	of	feet	much	larger	than	any	pro	basketball	player	will	ever	have	.	joe	bellows	at	the	poachers	before	him	,	angry	that	they	would	like	to	kill	him	and	sell	him	for	millions	of	dollars	.	during	this	scene	,	i	turned	to	my	friend	and	said	,	"	wow	.	that's	some	ape	.	"	joe	is	quite	a	gorilla	a	big	,	digital	gorilla	.	he	runs	around	the	fields	,	chasing	cars	and	people	.	he	picks	things	up	and	stares	at	them	pensively	.	he	breaks	things	on	accident	,	because	he's	just	too	big	to	avoid	clumsiness	.	joe	,	as	a	special	effect	,	is	an	image	that	might	hold	your	interest	for	five	minutes	.	as	a	character	,	he	doesn't	quite	register	.	and	the	story	he's	been	put	in	is	as	limp	as	they	come	.	the	words	"	family	entertainment	"	have	never	been	a	stamp	of	quality	,	but	might	joe	young	is	just	a	silly	special	effects	movie	pretending	to	have	a	heart	.	the	picture	is	a	remake	of	the	1949	film	.	it's	mostly	just	about	the	big	gorilla	,	but	,	strictly	as	a	formality	,	the	movie	also	has	a	few	human	characters	.	the	main	one	is	jill	young	(	poor	charlize	theron	,	forced	to	waste	her	talent	)	,	a	lover	of	gorillas	.	as	a	child	,	she	witnessed	a	group	of	poachers	murder	her	mother	;	now	,	she	lives	in	the	jungle	to	protect	the	wildlife	.	specifically	,	she's	out	to	protect	joe	,	a	giant	gorilla	who	has	been	her	friend	since	her	childhood	.	soon	,	zoologist	gregg	o'hara	(	bill	paxton	)	discovers	joe	;	he	quickly	realizes	that	poachers	want	to	get	joe	and	sell	him	to	a	big	game	hunter	named	strasser	(	rade	sherbedgia	)	,	who	just	happens	to	be	the	same	guy	who	killed	jill's	mother	.	so	,	in	an	effort	to	save	joe	,	jill	and	gregg	take	the	big	gorilla	to	a	preserve	,	where	it	is	instantly	clear	that	he	is	not	safe	from	poachers	.	in	addition	,	the	space	is	way	too	small	for	him	(	after	all	,	he	is	a	really	big	gorilla	)	.	and	,	to	add	to	the	complications	,	strasser	shows	up	under	a	benevolent	pretext	(	he	tells	jill	that	he	has	a	preserve	big	enough	for	joe	)	,	and	joe	recognizes	strasser	as	the	guy	who	killed	jill's	mother	.	jill	,	of	course	,	doesn't	recognize	strasser	,	even	though	he	did	kill	her	mother	.	this	is	just	one	of	the	many	examples	of	stupidity	in	mighty	joe	young	,	a	film	that	fulfills	every	stereotype	that	comes	with	a	special	effects	film	.	the	movie	isn't	really	offensive	it	has	some	competent	actors	,	a	few	nifty	sets	,	and	a	lot	of	scenes	with	a	big	,	digitized	gorilla	.	but	the	story	is	really	dumb	,	there	aren't	any	characters	,	and	the	film	isn't	satisfying	on	any	level	beyond	its	visuals	.	the	movie	also	has	bad	dialogue	.	if	a	critic	says	that	a	film	has	bad	dialogue	,	it's	only	fair	to	quote	some	of	it	,	but	most	of	the	words	spoken	in	this	picture	are	phrases	like	"	joe	isn't	happy	!	"	and	"	joe	isn't	safe	here	!	"	"	we	need	to	get	joe	out	of	here	!	"	"	joe	is	way	too	big	for	that	cage	!	"	i	don't	know	if	these	phrases	are	word	for	word	,	but	they're	close	.	as	i	said	,	the	characters	here	are	only	present	as	a	formality	:	they	do	little	more	than	state	the	obvious	(	of	course	joe	is	too	big	for	that	cage	)	.	paxton	and	theron	are	talented	performers	who	deserve	to	work	on	a	script	that	provides	characters	for	them	.	sadly	,	mighty	joe	young	wastes	them	both	.	there	are	a	few	clever	moments	(	although	none	of	them	are	surfacing	in	my	memory	at	the	moment	)	,	and	,	as	i	said	,	the	digital	effects	held	my	attention	for	at	least	five	minutes	.	it's	certainly	not	a	bad	film	for	kids	;	i	doubt	joe	will	give	them	nightmares	.	but	adults	in	the	audience	aren't	likely	to	find	much	of	anything	interesting	about	the	big	gorilla	.	a	big	gorilla	is	only	interesting	for	a	little	while	;	after	that	,	something	needs	to	be	done	with	the	big	gorilla	.	nobody	ever	figures	out	what	to	do	with	the	big	gorilla	.
neg	starring	joshua	jackson	,	paul	walker	,	leslie	bibb	,	craig	t	.	nelson	,	hill	harper	,	william	peterson	,	christopher	mcdonald	and	steve	harris	director	rob	cohen	canadian	rating	pg	released	by	universal	pictures	03	00	the	skulls'	is	a	laughably	bad	thriller	,	a	teen	orientated	doppelganger	of	the	firm'	so	blazingly	ridiculous	that	it	caused	me	to	drift	into	a	hypnotic	stupor	.	certain	moments	are	so	preposterous	that	i	nearly	herniated	myself	in	an	attempt	to	stifle	laughter	.	i	chuckled	incessantly	,	all	the	way	home	.	let	me	share	.	the	skulls	is	a	secret	society	conceived	inside	the	walls	of	yale	(	designed	,	i'm	sure	,	to	mirror	the	actual	skull	bones	from	the	same	college	)	.	luke	mcnamara	(	joshua	jackson	)	,	a	townie	and	local	varsity	rowing	championship	victor	for	the	third	consecutive	year	,	highlights	the	latest	skull	scouting	report	.	despite	some	anxiety	and	caution	from	others	,	luke	accepts	entry	into	the	organization	.	soon	after	,	he	finds	himself	surrounded	by	beautiful	women	,	driving	a	new	car	and	marveling	at	the	20	,	000	that	somehow	surfaced	in	his	bank	account	.	yeah	,	dude	,	pretty	good	deal	eh	?	but	luke	soon	learns	that	the	membership	is	somewhat	suffocating	;	when	circumstances	become	extreme	,	there	is	no	way	he	can	leave	the	society	except	maybe	as	a	drooling	vegetable	.	the	premise	,	although	lacking	in	originality	,	certainly	offers	its	share	of	potential	intrigue	and	suspense	.	unfortunately	,	the	skulls'	is	neither	intriguing	,	nor	suspenseful	,	nor	anything	else	you	would	associate	with	fresh	or	exciting	.	it's	just	another	abysmal	teen	prototype	that	has	the	soundtrack	,	the	stars	.	.	.	.	but	not	the	script	.	the	skulls'	is	so	bad	it	attains	a	certain	level	of	entertainment	value	,	with	the	screenplay	,	by	jon	pogue	,	immediately	becoming	the	basis	for	a	slew	of	unintentional	howlers	.	first	off	,	upon	their	initiation	into	the	skulls	,	each	new	member	has	to	have	a	skull	branded	onto	their	arm	.	afterward	they	are	supplied	with	a	wristwatch	that	conveniently	covers	up	the	scar	.	will	they	never	take	this	watch	off	?	and	what	if	they	forget	it	by	their	bedside	?	perhaps	their	secret'	society	was	being	a	little	too	conspicuous	when	they	decided	to	brand	new	members	like	cattle	on	an	area	of	the	body	that	is	easily	exposed	.	on	top	of	this	,	they	are	each	given	a	rulebook	and	a	key	to	headquarters	.	gee	,	why	not	member	t	shirts	?	but	my	favorite	bit	is	this	:	the	voting	committee	for	the	skulls	does	not	bother	with	individual	agree'	or	disagree'	notions	when	making	collective	decisions	.	they	are	given	official	skull	paddles	.	when	flipped	to	one	side	,	they	indicate	the	member	agrees	with	the	proposal	.	facing	the	opposite	way	means	a	disagreement	.	wouldn't	they	merely	express	themselves	verbally	?	hell	no	.	they	have	to	retrieve	the	paddles	for	a	proper	vote	,	and	maybe	afterward	they	can	play	ping	pong	.	i'm	still	chuckling	about	these	ludicrous	details	,	but	the	humiliating	dialogue	is	enough	to	send	one	into	arrest	.	the	cast	,	meanwhile	,	combines	a	pinch	of	veteran	talent	with	a	dash	of	the	dawson's	creek'	crowd	,	and	fuses	the	two	together	,	ensuring	that	the	embarrassment	will	be	a	mutually	shared	union	throughout	.	but	not	entirely	.	accomplished	actors	like	craig	t	.	nelson	(	as	skulls	chairman	judge	litten	mandrake	)	and	william	peterson	(	as	fellow	board	member	senator	levritt	)	are	dealt	pathetic	villain	caricatures	,	and	look	suitably	embarrassed	handling	them	.	and	then	there's	christopher	mcdonald	,	who	has	the	capacity	to	be	a	fun	,	exciting	actor	.	mcdonald's	charisma	is	totally	diminished	here	as	he	sleepwalks	through	another	perfunctory	bad	guy	role	(	yes	,	pogue	makes	it	a	hat	trick	)	.	i	pray	it	was	a	snatch	the	paycheck	and	run'	exercise	for	all	these	actors	.	the	young	troupe	of	performers	involved	fair	moderately	better	.	let's	cut	the	talented	canadian	lad	joshua	jackson	some	slack	for	maintaining	believability	within	the	confines	of	his	character	.	paul	walker	,	the	strapping	quarterback	from	varsity	blues'	,	is	bland	but	passable	as	caleb	mandrake	the	judge's	son	.	walker	preserves	a	straight	face	,	even	when	dealt	the	silliest	dialogue	in	the	movie	(	dad	,	i	just	killed	a	guy	in	the	ritual	room	!	'	)	.	some	actual	spark	is	generated	by	leslie	bibb	,	who	plays	luke's	longtime	chum	chloe	,	and	manages	to	successfully	pull	off	some	convincing	dramatics	.	it	really	boils	down	to	the	actors	attempting	to	puncture	the	surrounding	plastic	bubble	of	absurdity	that	cages	them	from	minute	one	.	or	maybe	not	minute	one	,	thanks	to	a	decent	set	up	from	director	rob	cohen	,	who	films	early	sequences	with	a	sense	of	atmosphere	and	style	.	it	makes	you	wonder	why	he	didn't	flee	indefinitely	from	the	project	,	because	while	enjoyable	cheese	like	dragonheart'	and	the	moderate	stallone	thriller	daylight'	aren't	superior	cinema	,	they	belong	on	the	afi	top	100	list	when	compared	to	this	degrading	trash	.	aside	from	unintentionally	humoring	the	audience	,	the	skulls'	gets	little	accomplished	.	the	thrills	and	action	are	lazy	and	mechanical	.	the	story	is	stuffed	with	ridiculous	,	formulaic	plotting	that	sheepishly	overlooks	the	cool	potential	of	a	secret	underground	society	flick	.	instead	of	gaining	knowledge	about	the	skulls	as	an	organization	,	we	are	thrust	into	a	lame	video	surveillance	conspiracy	that	has	developed	barnacles	from	excessive	usage	.	we've	seen	it	all	before	,	and	better	.	the	skulls'	is	a	feeble	little	circus	of	stupidity	,	so	miscalculated	that	while	it	would	serve	as	a	clever	pun	a	term	like	boneheaded'	seems	just	too	generous	.
neg	directed	by	luis	mandoki	.	cast	:	robin	wright	penn	,	kevin	costner	,	paul	newman	,	jesse	james	,	illeana	douglas	,	john	savage	,	robbie	coltrane	,	viveka	davis	.	1999	126	minutes	rated	pg	13	(	for	profanity	,	mild	violence	,	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	february	13	,	1999	.	director	luis	mandoki's	last	film	was	the	superb	,	serious	1994	drama	"	when	a	man	loves	a	woman	,	"	but	his	luck	has	ultimately	run	out	with	his	latest	picture	,	"	message	in	a	bottle	,	"	which	is	the	worst	type	of	romance	,	a	movie	that	tugs	so	relentlessly	and	violently	at	the	heartstrings	that	it	miraculously	manages	to	dry	out	your	eyes	rather	than	tear	them	up	.	everything	that	occurs	can	be	telegraphed	way	in	advance	since	this	same	type	of	story	has	been	done	many	times	before	and	much	better	so	there's	an	absence	of	suspense	,	and	the	film	ultimately	moves	at	such	a	very	,	very	deliberate	pace	,	as	if	it	is	trying	to	make	great	,	"	meaningful	"	statements	and	plot	developments	,	that	it	just	becomes	a	tedious	bore	to	sit	through	.	"	message	in	a	bottle	"	begins	with	theresa	osborne	(	robin	wright	penn	)	,	a	single	mother	and	researcher	at	the	chicago	tribune	,	whom	finds	a	bottle	washed	up	on	shore	as	she	is	jogging	one	day	.	inside	the	bottle	is	an	anonymous	love	letter	addressed	to	a	mystery	woman	named	catherine	,	and	theresa	is	so	taken	aback	by	its	honesty	and	sweetness	that	she	shows	it	around	at	her	work	and	,	to	her	objection	,	finds	that	her	editor	has	placed	the	letter	in	the	newspaper	.	soon	,	a	heavy	research	is	conducted	to	find	out	who	wrote	the	letter	based	on	the	type	of	bottle	and	a	ship	logo	on	the	top	of	the	typed	message	,	and	after	it	is	traced	to	a	man	named	garrett	blake	,	theresa	finds	herself	traveling	to	the	outer	banks	,	a	boating	town	in	north	carolina	,	to	find	out	the	specifics	of	the	message	.	of	course	,	garrett	turns	out	to	be	a	handsome	,	rugged	man	around	theresa's	age	and	played	by	kevin	costner	.	she	is	immediately	charmed	by	him	,	but	hesitant	to	unveil	the	truth	of	why	she	is	there	,	and	finds	that	catherine	was	garrett's	late	wife	who	died	a	few	years	earlier	.	do	you	think	you	know	where	this	is	headed	?	most	likely	you	do	,	and	i	wouldn't	call	it	giving	away	anything	to	say	that	by	the	picture's	end	,	the	movie	has	fallen	into	deep	,	artificial	melodrama	that	i	didn't	buy	for	a	second	.	if	there	are	any	positive	things	to	say	about	"	message	in	a	bottle	,	"	it	is	that	the	performances	by	robin	wright	penn	and	paul	newman	,	as	garrett's	stubborn	,	but	loving	father	,	are	far	above	par	to	be	in	such	a	wasteful	,	"	shaggy	dog	"	love	story	,	and	that	the	cinematography	by	caleb	deschanel	takes	great	advantage	of	the	beautiful	eastern	coast	,	and	paints	chicago	as	an	equally	alluring	city	.	meanwhile	,	costner	has	yet	to	redeem	himself	for	some	of	the	less	than	stellar	films	that	he	has	made	recently	.	it	seems	that	with	such	bad	luck	,	he	wouldn't	want	to	make	another	movie	set	near	water	,	but	here	he	is	again	with	one	of	the	main	,	and	most	ridiculous	,	centerpieces	set	on	a	storm	swept	sea	.	the	other	actors	are	all	,	sadly	,	wasted	,	including	illeana	douglas	,	an	underused	actress	who	seems	to	always	get	stuck	with	the	"	friend	"	roles	,	here	playing	penn's	confidante	and	co	worker	at	the	tribune	.	the	first	half	of	"	message	in	a	bottle	"	plays	like	a	hum	drum	,	trite	television	movie	for	the	lifetime	channel	,	as	theresa	spends	a	great	deal	of	time	"	getting	to	know	"	garrett	,	with	dialogue	that	is	not	the	least	bit	stimulating	or	entertaining	.	usually	,	i	am	the	type	of	person	to	practically	salivate	over	dialogue	laden	sequences	since	the	film	is	no	doubt	trying	to	develop	the	characters	and	their	relationships	,	but	here	it	all	rang	with	a	resounding	falseness	since	the	dialogue	felt	"	written	,	"	and	not	as	if	people	were	really	"	talking	.	"	when	the	main	characters	of	a	film	have	very	little	of	interest	to	say	to	each	other	,	and	are	not	particularly	interesting	themselves	,	you	know	immediately	that	you	are	in	trouble	.	i	swear	that	while	watching	"	message	in	a	bottle	,	"	i	felt	as	if	i	had	just	read	the	screenplay	in	its	entirety	before	arriving	at	the	theater	(	heck	,	in	actuality	i'm	not	even	familiar	to	the	novel	this	is	based	on	,	by	nicholas	sparks	)	.	always	one	step	ahead	of	the	characters	,	the	movie	ran	so	closely	and	tightly	to	the	constraints	of	the	tried	and	true	hollywood	melodrama	,	the	film	strip	often	seemed	to	almost	be	in	danger	of	tearing	.	nobody	wins	prizes	for	guessing	that	garrett	will	eventually	find	out	theresa's	secret	,	and	that	several	obstacles	will	come	within	their	ways	of	living	happily	ever	after	.	this	same	exact	problem	occurred	in	last	year's	very	,	very	similar	(	watch	this	,	and	you	will	realize	just	how	similar	i	mean	)	meg	ryan	nicolas	cage	romantic	drama	,	"	city	of	angels	.	"	although	theresa	is	deeply	touched	by	the	"	heartfelt	"	letter	that	she	finds	in	the	bottle	,	perhaps	the	filmakers	might	have	been	better	off	finding	a	message	in	a	bottle	of	their	own	,	preferably	before	filming	began	.	it	should	have	read	,	"	memo	to	screenwriters	:	use	you	brain	!	"	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	from	dusk	till	dawn	1	2	.	directed	and	edited	by	robert	rodriguez	.	written	by	quentin	tarantino	.	photography	,	guillermo	navarro	.	production	design	,	cecilia	montiel	.	music	,	graeme	revell	.	cast	:	harvey	keitel	,	george	clooney	,	quentin	tarantino	,	juliette	lewis	,	cheech	marin	,	fred	williamson	,	salma	hayek	,	tom	savini	,	ernest	liu	.	a	miramax	release	.	100	minutes	.	rated	r	(	language	,	graphic	violence	,	more	violence	,	sex	,	sex	and	horror	exploitation	)	"	el	mariachi	,	"	the	made	for	pennies	first	major	work	of	robert	rodriguez	,	was	better	than	"	desperado	,	"	his	big	budget	sequel	.	his	third	movie	,	a	segment	in	"	four	rooms	,	"	intensified	the	slide	.	in	the	latter	,	writer	director	tarantino	did	even	worse	.	"	from	dusk	till	dawn	,	"	written	by	tarantino	,	directed	and	edited	by	rodriguez	,	is	also	a	disappointment	.	mister	ugly	(	tarantino	)	and	mister	pretty	(	clooney	)	are	the	gecko	brothers	.	their	name	(	remember	michael	douglas's	gordon	gekko	in	"	wall	street	"	?	)	is	the	starting	point	for	smug	,	mostly	ineffectual	filmic	in	jokes	and	references	.	the	geckos	are	sadistic	robbers	and	killers	.	escaped	convict	seth	(	clooney	)	seems	relatively	rational	by	his	standards	(	but	how	could	he	be	?	)	and	is	in	nominal	control	.	dumb	,	trigger	happy	richard	(	tarantino	)	is	a	card	carrying	delusional	nut	,	sex	maniac	and	rapist	.	real	life	hyper	kinetic	,	weirdo	tarantino	is	well	cast	.	clooney	too	.	he	slips	easily	into	the	strong	,	menacing	character	of	rodriguez	or	tarantino	movies	.	the	pair	have	just	robbed	a	texas	bank	,	killed	many	and	taken	a	hostage	.	(	all	this	is	later	reported	on	tv	with	amusing	black	,	media	satirizing	humor	)	.	in	a	roadside	gas	station	the	brothers	add	to	the	body	count	.	it's	so	gratuitously	,	crazily	shown	that	the	violence	is	stylized	and	surreal	.	as	they're	fleeing	to	mexico	,	another	in	joke	,	a	kind	of	x	ray	of	their	car's	trunk	,	reveals	momentarily	their	trussed	up	hostage	.	someone	has	been	watching	godard	and	truffaut	movies	;	someone	ought	to	have	learned	from	them	more	about	substance	and	subtexts	.	a	family	of	three	in	an	rv	are	the	next	hostages	.	the	parts	are	performed	with	unusual	calm	another	in	joke	.	harvey	keitel	is	a	widowed	pastor	who	has	lost	his	faith	.	in	another	joke	on	the	audience	,	keitel's	daughter	juliette	lewis	,	whom	we	would	expect	to	join	the	brothers	as	a	natural	born	killer	,	does	not	.	in	a	logic	defying	gag	,	chinese	american	ernest	liu	plays	the	son	.	clooney	wonders	:	"	how	can	he	be	your	son	?	he	looks	japanese	.	"	"	no	"	retorts	keitel	,	"	he	looks	chinese	.	"	of	such	bits	is	the	first	part	made	.	they	are	sort	of	promising	,	although	for	a	good	,	oddly	lyrical	yet	based	on	fact	killing	spree	movie	i	would	recommend	"	badlands	"	(	1973	)	with	martin	sheen	and	sissy	spacek	.	entering	mexico	,	the	brothers	rendez	vous	with	their	mexican	contacts	in	titty	twister	,	a	huge	,	crass	,	baroque	,	surreal	strip	joint	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	.	it	is	full	of	nude	dancers	and	swarthy	,	murderous	looking	mexican	bikers	and	truckers	.	(	texican	rodriguez	keeps	perpetuating	movie	cliches	)	.	one	of	the	customers	has	a	miniature	cannon	strapped	to	his	private	parts	.	the	joint	almost	makes	you	smell	sweat	,	body	odors	,	and	think	of	v	.	d	.	violent	things	happen	.	after	a	lull	,	satanico	pandemonium	(	beautiful	salma	hayek	from	"	desperado	"	)	does	a	number	with	a	huge	snake	.	suddenly	she	morphs	into	a	ghoul	as	does	everyone	else	.	becoming	allies	,	captors	and	hostages	unite	against	an	onslaught	of	vampires	,	the	undead	,	monsters	.	the	struggle	goes	on	forever	.	how	long	is	"	forever	"	?	my	stopwatch	's	battery	got	so	fed	up	that	it	died	.	at	the	start	of	this	second	half	there	are	sporadic	gags	.	"	does	anyone	have	a	cross	?	"	(	to	stop	the	vampires	)	.	"	no	,	but	two	pieces	of	wood	would	do	.	peter	cushing	does	it	all	the	time	.	"	a	disquisition	on	vampires	follows	.	"	we	need	a	book	,	a	real	book	"	"	like	a	time	life	book	?	"	cheap	humor	,	but	still	preferable	to	the	mayhem	.	interminably	,	the	morphing	and	re	morphing	disgusting	vampire	critters	attack	.	the	lurid	,	incoherent	hodge	podge	of	massacres	is	an	orgy	of	gore	and	dismemberment	.	it	also	kills	whatever	character	development	was	present	earlier	.	unrelieved	,	very	dull	,	this	becomes	a	second	,	tacked	on	,	irrelevant	movie	.	the	visuals	and	other	special	effects	are	skillful	,	but	so	what	?	it's	all	deja	vu	.	the	only	original	,	also	surreal	gag	,	at	the	very	end	,	when	we	see	the	back	of	the	joint	.	it	is	built	like	a	mexican	pyramid	.	the	fortune	all	this	cost	could	have	rodriguez's	parents	,	nine	siblings	and	extended	family	live	in	comfort	for	a	lifetime	,	with	money	left	over	for	another	ten	generations	.	this	flick	is	not	merely	over	the	top	,	it	tops	the	topper	.	it	is	not	plain	old	pulp	fiction	either	.	much	of	it	is	what	happens	to	pulp	after	it's	been	digested	.
neg	actually	,	i'm	fairly	sure	the	experience	of	having	my	flesh	torn	and	mutilated	by	barbed	wire	would	have	been	more	positive	than	watching	this	movie	.	"	baywatch	"	babe	pamela	anderson	lee	proves	once	and	for	all	that	she	should	keep	her	double	d's	on	the	small	screen	.	at	least	there	you	don't	have	to	pay	to	see	her	cleavage	.	and	for	those	viewers	out	there	who	would	only	lay	down	money	for	this	movie	in	hopes	of	seeing	pam	topless	,	hate	to	burst	your	bubble	,	but	there	are	no	full	fledged	nude	scenes	in	barb	wire	.	you	wouldn't	be	reading	this	review	right	now	if	i	had	known	that	fact	going	in	.	i	can't	go	back	in	time	and	reverse	my	mistake	,	but	i	can	warn	other	horny	teenage	boys	out	there	.	they	do	tease	us	a	few	times	with	scenes	where	you	almost	see	her	topless	but	if	she	is	nude	,	it's	so	quick	you	can't	even	tell	for	sure	whether	you're	seeing	her	andersons	or	not	.	a	nipple	hallucination	sort	of	thing	.	barb	wire	was	adapted	from	a	comic	book	,	interesting	because	pamela	is	probably	the	only	woman	who	looks	like	a	comic	book	character	in	real	life	,	even	wearing	low	cut	leather	to	do	office	work	(	businesswoman	bondage	wear	)	and	having	unreal	body	proportions	.	yes	,	like	the	mona	lisa	,	pamela	anderson	is	a	man	made	beauty	,	probably	in	more	senses	than	one	.	she	is	a	definite	beauty	,	though	,	and	looking	at	her	is	never	an	unpleasant	experience	.	you'd	just	think	the	woman	who	began	her	career	as	a	playboy	playmate	wouldn't	have	any	reservations	about	appearing	nude	in	the	movie	,	because	it's	obvious	she	wasn't	pulling	a	sharon	stone	and	trying	to	make	people	pay	attention	to	her	acting	skills	.	i	mean	,	she	shows	off	more	cleavage	here	than	a	jeweler's	convention	.	the	movie	is	set	in	the	year	2017	,	"	the	worst	year	of	my	life	,	"	pam	says	.	(	"	the	worst	movie	of	the	year	,	"	i	say	.	)	america	is	going	through	a	second	civil	war	and	pamela	is	a	nightclub	owner	in	the	only	free	city	in	the	nation	(	silicone	valley	,	i	think	)	.	she	also	hires	herself	out	as	a	bounty	hunter	when	the	price	is	right	,	posing	as	first	a	stripper	and	later	as	a	prostitute	.	but	don't	call	her	"	babe	.	"	she	hates	that	,	and	reminds	us	of	that	fact	way	too	many	times	.	imagine	,	a	woman	who	does	a	trapeze	strip	tease	in	a	bar	while	having	a	hose	sprayed	on	her	being	referred	to	in	such	a	sexist	,	demeaning	term	.	a	liberated	woman	like	pamela	anderson	shouldn't	have	to	hear	words	like	"	babe	"	during	a	strip	tease	,	especially	since	that	movie	about	the	talking	pig	was	such	a	success	.	the	plot	(	ha	ha	)	revolves	around	a	pair	of	contact	lenses	that	allow	their	wearer	to	pass	through	the	congressional	directorate's	retina	scanners	.	in	the	words	of	one	of	the	characters	,	they're	"	more	than	meets	the	eye	.	"	reminds	me	of	the	"	transformers	"	cartoon	,	and	i	sure	wished	the	movie	could	somehow	be	transformed	into	something	decent	,	but	that	never	happened	.	no	,	the	movie	just	continued	on	its	path	of	lame	action	scenes	starring	pamela	van	damme	,	big	busted	kickboxer	,	and	her	resistance	accomplices	,	ex	boyfriend	axel	(	tamuera	morrison	)	and	cora	(	victoria	rowell	)	.	thank	god	they	didn't	name	her	cora	reef	.	one	bad	character	name	is	more	than	enough	.	pamela	originally	doesn't	take	sides	,	giving	some	speech	about	she's	only	loyal	to	the	money	they	pay	her	,	but	she	changes	her	mind	once	the	congressional	bastards	kill	her	blind	brother	,	jack	noseworthy	of	bon	jovi	"	always	"	video	fame	.	i	still	don't	know	if	barb	wire	is	a	step	up	or	step	down	for	noseworthy	,	but	he	definitely	is	nose	worthy	(	even	if	he	isn't	sponge	worthy	)	.	pam	gets	ready	to	avenge	his	death	by	grabbing	up	an	armful	of	semi	automatic	weapons	and	strapping	an	ammunitions	belt	to	her	chest	.	it's	not	rambo	.	.	.	it's	bimbo	!	mark	my	words	,	barb	wire	will	be	all	over	the	cinemax	network	in	a	year	.	it's	got	all	the	elements	of	the	direct	to	video	releases	featured	on	hbo's	bastard	cousin	,	the	cable	channel	i'd	never	watch	if	it	didn't	somehow	come	free	.	it's	got	the	non	titillating	scenes	of	voyeurism	,	laughable	flashbacks	,	bad	dialogue	and	action	cliches	out	the	wazzoo	.	there's	even	a	narrator	at	the	beginning	setting	up	the	movie's	premise	while	the	words	scroll	up	the	screen	.	someone	needs	to	tell	pamela	the	wookie	this	ain't	star	wars	.	if	you've	seen	any	action	flick	of	the	past	fifteen	years	,	you'll	recognize	plenty	of	lifted	elements	.	barb	wire	has	the	obligatory	trucks	flipping	over	,	car	crashes	,	explosions	,	broken	glass	and	slow	motion	shots	of	bodies	falling	hundreds	of	feet	to	their	death	.	this	is	one	of	those	automatic	pilot	movies	anyone	could	write	or	direct	.	barb	wire	has	only	two	things	going	for	it	.	.	.	and	i	think	you	know	what	those	two	things	are	.
neg	polish	wedding	(	pg	13	)	1	2	(	out	of	)	in	this	year's	summer	movie	preview	issue	of	_	entertainment	_	weekly	_	,	theresa	connelly	described	her	writing	directing	debut	,	_	polish	_	wedding	_	,	as	"	a	child	that	did	not	quite	become	the	child	i	thought	it	would	.	"	one	wonders	what	exactly	she	originally	had	in	mind	for	this	jumbled	film	,	a	comedy	drama	that	appears	doomed	at	its	most	basic	elements	.	the	family	at	the	center	of	_	polish	_	wedding	_	is	the	pzoniaks	,	which	consists	of	mother	jadzia	(	lena	olin	)	,	father	bolek	(	gabriel	byrne	)	,	sole	daughter	hala	(	claire	danes	)	and	four	sons	of	varying	degrees	of	facelessness	.	it's	a	large	family	,	but	there's	not	a	sympathetic	one	in	the	whole	bunch	,	certainly	not	in	the	primary	trio	.	jadzia	takes	pride	in	building	and	maintaining	a	home	and	family	,	but	she's	kind	of	a	hypocrite	since	she's	carrying	on	an	affair	with	a	businessman	rade	serbedzija	)	.	her	excuse	for	her	affair	is	neglect	from	bolek	,	who	is	such	a	passive	wimp	that	one	cannot	connect	with	his	sadness	and	frustration	.	also	,	how	could	he	possibly	pay	so	little	attention	to	the	saucy	,	sexy	jadzia	?	hala	is	a	spoiled	,	self	centered	high	school	dropout	whose	reckless	sexual	experimentation	predictably	leads	to	pregnancy	.	with	such	an	unappealing	set	of	characters	,	it's	no	surprise	that	_	polish	_	wedding	_	's	plot	complications	are	far	from	involving	.	naturally	,	jadzia	and	bolek	would	like	hala	to	marry	the	young	cop	,	russell	schuster	(	adam	trese	)	,	who	fathered	the	child	,	but	he	refuses	to	make	such	a	commitment	.	ho	hum	.	another	complication	,	involving	the	decidedly	un	virginal	hala	being	selected	to	crown	a	statue	of	the	virgin	mary	,	is	first	played	for	laughs	and	then	,	inexplicably	,	as	a	profound	statement	in	the	film's	climax	which	,	ironically	,	is	funnier	than	any	of	the	film's	lame	attempts	at	humor	,	such	as	a	painfully	labored	slapstick	attempt	where	jadzia	leads	her	sons	in	a	charge	to	beat	up	russell	.	that	scene	is	but	one	in	a	number	of	writing	miscues	by	connelly	.	the	jadzia	bolek	conflict	is	resolved	in	an	overly	pat	way	not	unfamiliar	to	sitcom	viewers	.	the	hala	russell	conflict	isn't	resolved	in	as	contrived	a	manner	,	but	their	ultimate	resolution	will	leave	viewers	wondering	if	they	had	missed	something	.	and	then	there's	some	atrocious	dialogue	,	which	i	am	sure	was	not	supposed	to	be	as	ridiculous	as	they	sound	:	"	look	at	all	these	pickles	.	just	looking	at	them	gives	me	such	great	sadness	.	"	as	misguided	as	_	polish	_	wedding	_	is	,	the	affair	is	something	of	a	letdown	,	considering	the	strong	performances	by	byrne	,	danes	,	and	especially	the	fiery	olin	.	they	obviously	believed	in	connelly	and	her	material	a	faith	that	audiences	will	be	hard	pressed	to	share	.
neg	one	of	the	90s'	most	unwelcome	thriller	trends	returns	from	the	grave	:	it's	the	"	___	from	hell	"	movie	!	starting	in	the	early	nineties	,	we	were	subjected	to	nearly	every	conceivable	combination	of	relationships	from	hell	!	there	were	boyfriends	from	hell	,	friendly	neighborhood	cops	from	hell	,	nannies	from	hell	,	and	even	secretaries	from	hell	.	but	hush	has	found	an	old	standby	that	somehow	was	forgotten	in	the	rush	:	the	mother	in	law	from	hell	!	!	!	!	!	the	mother	in	law	in	question	is	martha	,	played	by	jessica	lange	.	she	has	been	single	handedly	running	the	family	horse	farm	,	kilronan	.	her	son	,	jackson	(	johnathon	schaech	)	and	his	girlfriend	,	helen	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	,	live	in	new	york	,	and	have	no	intention	to	move	back	down	south	to	the	rural	kilronan	.	but	those	intentions	are	about	to	change	.	you	see	,	martha	lives	by	manipulation	.	she	has	used	it	in	years	past	to	breed	many	championship	horses	.	now	,	she	believes	she	can	use	it	to	breed	herself	a	grandson	.	though	at	first	,	helen	finds	martha	charming	,	soon	she	is	caught	in	the	domineering	martha's	web	of	deception	.	it's	hard	to	understand	why	nobody	ever	wises	up	to	martha'	schemes	.	as	written	,	most	of	the	characters	in	the	film	must	be	very	slow	witted	.	but	then	,	the	film	even	treats	the	audience	like	idiots	.	it	tries	to	get	away	with	things	(	like	leaving	a	critical	piece	of	evidence	in	a	rather	unlikely	place	)	without	even	batting	an	eye	.	then	again	an	audience	which	accepts	characters	as	shallow	as	these	isn't	one	that's	likely	to	question	details	.	jessica	lange's	martha	is	the	only	semi	developed	character	in	the	film	,	and	she	applies	her	talents	to	redeem	it	as	much	as	she	can	.	a	character	that	could	have	been	simply	awful	is	merely	groan	worthy	.	gwyneth	paltrow	doesn't	have	much	to	build	upon	,	as	helen's	only	character	trait	seems	to	be	"	daughter	in	law	"	.	still	,	she	fares	better	than	johnathon	schaech	,	whose	character	is	so	nonexistent	,	he's	inexplicably	missing	for	much	of	the	film	.	still	,	there	have	been	much	worse	"	____	from	hell	"	films	.	even	with	its	paper	thin	characters	and	ludicrous	setups	,	hush	manages	to	create	a	few	thrills	in	a	color	by	numbers	fashion	.	you	know	what's	coming	,	but	occasionally	the	film	will	deliver	a	shock	or	two	.	the	old	formulas	are	around	for	a	reason	,	but	that	doesn't	mean	they	taste	fresh	.
neg	the	mod	squad	(	m	)	.	(	mgm	uip	)	director	:	scott	silver	stars	:	claire	danes	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	omar	epps	,	dennis	farina	,	josh	brolin	,	michael	lerner	,	steve	harris	,	richard	jenkins	.	another	old	tv	series	is	revisited	and	updated	for	the	'90's	.	however	,	this	lacklustre	big	screen	version	of	the	mod	squad	,	which	originally	ran	from	1968	to	1973	,	joins	other	dud	adaptations	such	as	the	beverly	hillbillies	,	lost	in	space	and	the	recent	my	favourite	martian	.	the	original	series	centred	around	a	squad	of	delinquent	teenagers	put	back	onto	the	streets	by	a	tough	but	sympathetic	cop	,	who	used	them	to	infiltrate	seedy	bars	and	clubs	and	street	gangs	in	an	effort	to	fight	crime	.	this	big	screen	version	takes	the	same	premise	,	but	basically	trashes	it	with	a	formulaic	and	unoriginal	plot	that	involves	crooked	cops	and	illicit	drug	deals	.	this	'90's	version	also	loses	the	rebellious	anti	establishment	undercurrents	that	were	prevalent	in	the	'60's	and	'70's	,	and	which	gave	the	series	an	unusual	edge	.	this	new	look	mod	squad	is	little	more	than	an	average	television	movie	,	and	is	unlikely	to	appeal	to	the	same	audiences	that	remember	the	similarly	themed	21	jump	street	with	more	affection	.	the	script	is	trite	and	predictable	,	the	dialogue	terribly	clichd	and	the	characters	one	dimensional	.	scott	silver's	direction	is	pedestrian	.	the	three	stars	lack	rapport	,	and	their	performances	are	uncomfortable	,	flat	and	uncharismatic	.	claire	danes	does	the	best	she	can	with	the	undemanding	role	of	julie	barnes	,	the	street	wise	former	drug	addict	.	giovanni	ribisi	(	from	the	other	sister	,	saving	private	ryan	,	etc	)	brings	an	intensity	to	his	performance	as	pete	cochrane	,	the	rich	kid	turned	bad	,	that	seems	misplaced	given	the	almost	comic	book	quality	of	the	material	.	omar	epps	(	from	higher	learning	,	etc	)	gives	his	linc	hayes	all	the	life	and	energy	of	a	lump	of	wood	.	veteran	dennis	farina	is	wasted	as	the	squad's	mentor	adam	greer	,	whose	murder	kick	starts	the	plot	.	the	ending	conveniently	leaves	the	way	open	for	a	sequel	.	however	,	if	prolific	producer	aaron	spelling	was	hoping	to	turn	the	mod	squad	into	a	successful	new	movie	series	he	has	sadly	under	estimated	the	intelligence	of	the	audience	and	over	estimated	the	quality	of	the	banal	script	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	norm	schrager	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	aa3c88368f877b5e8825695b00047bfd	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	aa3c88368f877b5e8825695b00047bfd	?	opendocument	a	a	day	after	the	west	wing	ruled	the	emmy	awards	,	rod	lurie's	white	house	drama	the	contender	screened	at	the	boston	film	festival	.	with	that	kind	of	timing	,	comparisons	are	unavoidable	.	so	with	the	contender	boasting	an	intriguing	storyline	(	woman	nominated	for	the	vice	presidency	)	and	a	top	line	cast	,	how	is	it	that	i	was	pining	for	martin	sheen	by	movie's	end	?	i	blame	lurie	,	for	what	i	believe	to	be	a	true	dud	of	the	fall	season	.	lurie	is	an	l	.	a	.	film	critic	turned	filmmaker	who	made	his	debut	with	last	year's	virtually	unseen	deterrence	,	with	kevin	pollak	as	the	president	.	lurie's	back	to	politics	again	,	and	this	time	it's	jeff	bridges	as	commander	in	chief	,	and	he'd	like	to	appoint	senator	laine	hanson	(	joan	allen	,	in	a	role	written	especially	for	her	)	to	the	vp	vacancy	.	not	so	easy	.	the	senator	has	enemies	,	like	gary	oldman's	congressman	sheldon	runyon	.	his	team	digs	up	dirty	pictures	from	hanson's	youth	,	and	all	hell	breaks	loose	for	the	senator	.	it's	not	so	much	fun	for	us	either	.	the	primary	problem	is	that	lurie	just	can't	direct	.	he	rushes	and	bumps	through	his	somewhat	appealing	script	in	the	first	half	,	just	so	we	can	get	to	that	naughty	photo	.	and	with	predictable	plot	points	,	such	as	a	clumsy	,	oh	so	secret	rendezvous	to	pass	over	the	pictures	,	it	seems	that	lurie	read	some	book	about	moments	needed	to	make	a	government	conspiracy	movie	.	no	wonder	the	guy's	favorite	film	is	all	the	president's	men	.	and	i'm	not	sure	he	knows	where	to	place	the	camera	.	not	once	do	we	get	a	satisfying	wide	shot	within	the	oval	office	,	or	anywhere	in	the	white	house	for	that	matter	(	don't	have	that	trouble	with	the	west	wing	,	do	you	?	)	.	at	one	point	,	he	follows	oldman	running	down	a	set	of	stairs	with	a	jarring	,	useless	steadicam	shot	,	borrowing	from	others'	styles	with	no	narrative	purpose	.	speaking	of	narrative	,	there	are	problems	there	too	.	lurie's	subject	matter	is	admirable	,	but	it	takes	way	too	long	to	get	from	setup	to	dnouement	.	much	of	the	screenplay	smacks	of	a	trying	too	hard	intensity	,	and	scattered	visuals	(	the	senator	jogs	through	arlington	national	cemetery	i	get	it	!	)	are	as	heavy	handed	as	lurie's	obvious	politics	.	and	although	the	president's	been	in	office	6	years	,	he's	continually	amazed	by	the	variety	of	food	at	the	white	house	,	ordering	a	snack	at	every	opportunity	.	cute	once	,	passable	twice	,	stupid	the	fifth	time	.	what's	inexcusable	,	though	,	is	the	hypocrisy	in	this	film	.	while	lurie	chides	the	act	of	digging	up	the	photo	,	he	revels	in	its	discovery	,	showing	us	a	gang	bang	snapshot	5	or	6	times	.	later	,	after	his	screenplay	smartly	supports	a	politician's	right	to	privacy	,	and	we're	sure	hanson's	past	is	immaterial	to	her	success	,	the	president	asks	for	lurid	details	and	she	tells	him	!	in	my	eyes	,	that	cheats	the	character	,	and	it's	a	huge	,	cowardly	cop	out	.	on	the	bright	side	,	joan	allen	continues	to	be	one	of	this	country's	best	actors	,	and	she'll	probably	pull	an	oscar	nomination	for	this	one	.	she	brings	such	a	stoic	pride	to	hanson	that	i'd	vote	for	her	in	a	second	.	oldman	,	who	has	spent	much	of	his	career	overacting	,	is	subdued	and	natural	as	runyon	,	and	the	likable	bridges	is	just	plain	goofy	.	how	did	lurie	get	such	talent	in	this	picture	anyway	!	?	i	figure	either	most	actors	are	thrilled	to	sink	their	teeth	into	political	issues	,	or	this	guy	smooched	a	lot	of	butt	while	reviewing	movies	in	l	.	a	.	either	way	,	fall	will	arrive	,	you'll	make	your	decision	on	the	upcoming	election	,	and	hopefully	,	you	will	vote	.	and	,	if	hungry	for	fictional	politics	,	you	should	stay	home	and	see	what	ol'	president	bartlett	is	up	to	.
neg	in	times	of	crisis	people	are	driven	to	desperate	measures	.	of	course	what	constitutes	a	crisis	differs	from	person	to	person	.	what	may	be	a	disastrous	situation	for	one	,	may	be	seen	as	a	challenge	to	another	.	as	deepak	chopra	is	known	to	say	,	"	it's	not	the	ride	,	it's	the	rider	.	"	unfortunately	clear	thinking	is	not	always	the	reaction	to	problems	.	wall	street	wheeler	dealer	steven	taylor	(	michael	douglas	)	is	a	man	with	troubles	.	he's	sunk	his	money	in	illegal	financial	activities	and	it's	blown	up	in	his	face	.	in	a	matter	of	days	he	will	lose	it	all	.	his	wife	emily	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	is	a	highly	placed	un	interpreter	and	is	not	happy	with	her	life	either	.	her	marriage	is	cold	and	unfulfilling	.	unknown	to	her	,	her	new	lover	david	shaw	(	viggo	mortensen	)	is	not	only	a	painter	,	but	an	ex	con	with	a	history	of	bilking	wealthy	women	of	their	money	.	emily	is	a	prime	target	:	she's	worth	over	100	million	.	steven's	solution	to	his	predicament	is	to	offer	david	half	a	million	to	kill	his	wife	.	the	artist	accepts	and	the	movie	is	underway	.	drawing	from	frederick	knott's	play	and	loosely	based	on	hitchcock's	i	dial	m	for	murder	i	,	this	is	all	too	typical	of	summer	releases	.	all	style	and	no	substance	.	and	there's	really	not	much	style	.	director	andrew	davis	(	the	accomplished	i	witness	i	and	best	forgotten	other	films	)	has	made	exactly	the	wrong	choices	at	almost	every	turn	.	douglas	and	paltrow	have	both	shown	us	that	they	are	skillful	actors	in	previous	films	.	mortensen	showed	promise	in	the	past	.	here	all	three	are	walking	uninterestingly	through	their	roles	with	oddly	waxen	faces	.	the	only	person	who	shows	any	sense	of	life	is	david	suchet	as	new	york	detective	mohamed	karaman	.	he's	only	on	screen	long	enough	to	make	you	think	that	there	might	be	a	likable	person	in	the	film	and	then	he	disappears	.	the	first	concern	of	a	suspense	film	is	to	create	suspense	.	surprises	are	important	.	in	this	movie	the	audience	keeps	waiting	for	something	to	happen	.	and	nothing	ever	does	.	nearly	every	event	is	telegraphed	in	advance	.	close	up	on	this	object	or	that	action	and	it's	easy	to	guess	what's	going	to	happen	.	as	the	film	plods	towards	its	inevitable	conclusion	you	keep	expecting	a	plot	twist	to	make	the	movie	worthwhile	.	it's	a	hopeless	quest	.	the	story	doesn't	make	much	sense	.	steven's	wife	is	loaded	.	even	with	unfriendly	relations	,	you'd	think	that	he	could	have	talked	to	her	about	his	difficulty	rather	than	deciding	to	kill	her	.	when	he	does	decide	on	the	dire	plan	he	makes	an	unreasonable	choice	.	if	you	were	going	to	hire	someone	to	kill	your	wife	,	would	your	first	choice	be	her	lover	?	no	matter	how	sleazy	he	is	,	i	would	think	there	might	be	a	chance	that	he	would	turn	down	the	opportunity	.	why	would	steven	plan	the	murder	as	a	break	in	in	their	apartment	?	why	not	just	take	her	out	as	she	was	walking	to	david's	loft	in	a	bad	neighborhood	?	while	deciding	among	the	numerous	summer	films	,	you	might	do	well	to	skip	this	one	.	you'll	find	more	suspense	than	this	movie	offers	by	watching	the	weather	channel	.	this	appeared	in	the	6	18	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	cast	:	rentaro	mikuni	,	choichiro	kawarazaki	,	kazuo	kitamura	,	kazuko	okiyama	,	yasuko	matsui	,	yoshi	kato	,	hosei	komatsu	,	kanjuro	arashi	,	chikako	hosokawa	,	chikage	ogi	,	jun	hamamura	.	credits	:	directed	by	shohei	imamura	.	screenplay	by	shohei	imamura	and	keiji	hasebe	.	adapted	from	the	1962	play	paraji	.	cinematography	by	masao	tochizawa	.	music	by	toshiro	mayuzumi	.	art	direction	by	takeshi	omura	.	shohei	imamura	has	always	liked	making	"	messy	,	really	human	,	japanese	,	unsettling	films	.	"	and	he	has	done	exactly	that	in	kamigami	no	fukaki	yokubo	(	the	profound	desire	of	the	gods	)	,	a	film	he	made	in	1968	that	had	to	wait	two	decades	to	be	released	in	its	full	170	minute	version	in	the	united	states	.	using	vivid	color	and	and	magnificent	cinemascope	photography	,	imamura	reaches	back	to	ancient	myths	to	explore	the	incestual	origins	of	human	society	in	the	tiny	island	paradise	of	kuragejima	,	in	the	ryukyu	islands	.	imamura	coalesces	all	aspects	of	the	film	into	a	coherent	whole	with	a	supreme	confidence	that	permeates	virtually	every	shot	of	his	film	.	not	until	the	short	epilogue	at	the	end	does	this	rare	sort	of	masterful	filmmaking	go	slightly	astray	.	the	film	is	defined	by	its	six	main	characters	,	who	form	a	microcosm	of	both	the	island's	past	and	its	encroaching	future	.	four	of	them	are	members	of	the	futori	family	,	which	has	a	long	history	of	engaging	in	taboo	practices	(	like	incest	)	and	being	punished	by	both	the	gods	and	their	fellow	island	residents	.	because	of	this	,	they	are	commonly	considered	little	more	than	animals	by	the	other	islanders	,	and	they	are	treated	accordingly	.	twenty	years	ago	,	nekichi	futori	(	rentaro	mikuni	)	was	discovered	having	an	incestuous	relationship	with	his	sister	uma	(	yasuko	matsui	)	.	according	to	legend	,	the	gods	showed	their	displeasure	by	hurling	a	huge	boulder	onto	the	island	during	a	terrible	storm	.	the	islanders	then	chained	nekichi	for	his	crimes	and	put	uma	in	the	care	of	the	local	noros	(	shamanesses	)	.	to	appease	the	wrath	of	the	gods	,	nekichi	has	been	digging	a	pit	for	the	boulder	to	fall	into	for	the	past	twenty	years	,	and	the	job	is	nearing	completion	.	nekichi's	son	kametaro	futori	(	choichiro	kawarazaki	)	is	understandably	confused	about	his	heritage	,	since	nekichi	is	the	son	of	his	own	grandfather	.	kametaro	is	also	uncertain	about	his	future	career	plans	.	kametaro's	sister	toriko	(	kazuko	okiyama	)	is	mentally	retarded	and	is	quite	content	to	wander	around	in	a	burlap	sack	and	to	be	used	sexually	by	island	men	.	the	other	two	main	characters	in	the	film	are	the	village	headman	ryugen	ryu	(	yoshi	kato	)	,	who	manages	a	sugar	mill	on	the	island	,	and	mr	.	kariya	,	an	engineer	from	tokyo	who	is	sent	by	his	company	to	construct	a	water	source	for	the	mill	.	kariya	is	,	of	course	,	the	representative	of	civilization	,	and	he	finds	the	local	traditions	and	myths	that	obstruct	his	task	to	be	incomprehensible	.	(	as	may	be	expected	from	this	culture	clash	,	imamura	draws	a	few	comedic	moments	with	kariya	.	)	also	in	the	film	is	grouchy	grandpa	futori	(	kanjuro	arashi	)	,	who	eventually	dies	and	returns	from	the	grave	in	a	night	time	vision	seen	by	many	of	the	islanders	.	finally	,	tokuri	the	balladeer	(	jun	hamamura	)	imparts	the	film	with	much	of	its	mythic	proportions	through	his	storytelling	and	songs	.	for	most	of	the	film	,	imamura	calmly	and	casually	explores	the	idiosyncratic	world	of	the	futoris	and	their	life	on	kuragejima	with	an	almost	documentary	like	style	.	but	all	throughout	the	film	is	an	ongoing	subtext	that	ultimately	relates	back	to	the	film's	title	.	furthermore	,	that	subtext	is	the	heart	of	the	film	and	is	crucially	dependent	on	imamura's	camerawork	.	typical	of	how	imamura	constructs	his	shots	is	one	scene	where	kariya	,	ryugen	,	and	kametaro	(	who	has	become	the	engineer's	helper	)	inspect	a	cliff	for	sources	of	water	.	most	of	the	scene	is	shot	matter	of	factly	from	ground	or	eye	level	.	however	,	as	the	three	begin	to	inspect	a	hole	already	dug	in	the	rock	,	imamura	abruptly	shifts	the	camera	angle	to	an	overhead	shot	.	on	one	edge	of	the	cinemascope	frame	is	kametaro	and	on	the	other	edge	are	ryugen	and	kariya	.	because	the	sudden	cut	is	deliberate	and	repeated	throughout	the	film	,	the	scene	strongly	implies	that	the	three	men	are	being	watched	by	hidden	,	unseen	forces	.	and	because	the	camera	photographs	the	three	men	precisely	on	the	edges	of	the	frame	,	it	seems	as	though	the	hidden	forces	are	watching	them	through	a	perfectly	situated	window	that	leads	from	one	world	to	another	.	the	question	of	who	or	what	these	hidden	forces	are	the	key	to	the	subtext	is	answered	by	numerous	stylized	shots	of	owls	,	lizards	,	birds	,	snakes	,	and	other	animals	.	(	these	shots	are	,	by	the	way	,	good	examples	imamura's	fascination	with	hybridizing	documentary	and	dramatic	styles	.	he	first	explored	documentary	authenticity	in	his	1963	film	nippon	knochuki	the	insect	woman	.	)	the	common	factor	linking	most	of	the	animal	shots	is	that	imamura	repeatedly	focuses	on	the	animals'	piercing	eyes	.	that	and	the	fact	that	imamura	includes	them	in	the	film	at	all	transforms	the	creatures	into	physical	extensions	of	an	omnipresent	divinity	constantly	observing	the	island	from	all	directions	.	this	is	especially	apparent	when	an	owl	with	bright	yellow	eyes	gazes	steadily	at	the	characters	as	they	bumble	around	in	a	forest	late	at	night	.	the	cinematic	link	between	nature	and	divinity	is	the	underlying	structure	that	the	entire	film	is	based	on	,	and	indeed	it	is	the	key	to	beauty	of	how	imamura	documents	the	vagaries	of	human	interaction	and	the	worlds	in	which	they	live	the	issue	with	which	imamura	is	ultimately	most	concerned	.	one	should	note	that	imamura's	camerawork	both	raises	the	sense	of	watching	through	a	window	and	also	conveys	a	sense	of	the	animals	actually	legendary	gods	through	the	film's	identification	of	divinity	with	nature	as	the	ones	doing	the	watching	.	what	the	film's	title	,	content	,	and	structure	emphatically	exclude	is	the	possibility	of	equating	the	film's	"	gods	"	with	the	film's	audience	.	it	would	be	smug	and	arrogant	to	assume	that	the	film's	viewers	are	meant	to	be	gods	.	because	imamura's	camera	often	switches	focus	from	the	human	characters	to	the	animals	and	back	again	,	it	is	clear	that	the	camera's	field	of	view	does	not	singlemindedly	represent	any	one	particular	perspective	.	and	even	if	it	were	imamura's	intention	to	make	viewers	into	gods	,	so	to	speak	,	the	viewer	gods	would	be	necessarily	impotent	and	ineffective	,	since	the	viewer	is	at	the	mercy	of	imamura's	cinematic	and	narrative	judgment	.	to	the	other	hand	,	one	could	conclude	that	the	film	is	little	more	than	an	indulgent	effort	to	equate	the	real	god	back	to	imamura	himself	.	while	imamura	has	played	similar	tricks	in	his	other	films	most	notably	in	his	1967	film	ningen	johatsu	(	a	man	vanishes	)	where	imamura	surreptitiously	photographed	a	woman	who	is	searching	for	her	missing	fiance	and	who	falls	in	love	with	the	fake	interviewer	investigator	imamura	paid	to	accompany	her	there	is	no	such	sense	of	egotism	in	kamigami	no	fukaki	yokubo	because	imamura	never	calls	undue	attention	to	his	camera	tricks	.	he	also	does	not	carry	anything	to	gratuitous	extremes	.	imamura	is	certainly	fascinated	by	the	dirty	laundry	of	humankind	,	and	it	is	therefore	only	natural	that	he	would	be	attracted	to	the	themes	of	incest	and	lecherous	gods	that	kuragejima	has	to	offer	.	but	in	this	film	at	least	,	imamura	wants	to	examine	and	learn	from	those	themes	,	not	exploit	or	revel	in	them	.	the	abrupt	epilogue	of	the	film	somewhat	disrupts	the	flow	of	the	film	,	but	it	does	effectively	address	how	these	concerns	have	changed	the	community	five	years	after	the	main	events	of	the	film	.	kariya	,	the	engineer	,	returns	with	his	family	to	visit	,	as	does	kametaro	,	who	has	become	disillusioned	with	life	in	tokyo	.	although	western	influences	have	transformed	the	island	(	coca	cola	signs	are	everywhere	)	,	new	indigenous	legends	are	also	emerging	.	imamura	implies	that	such	folklore	will	always	find	resources	to	survive	in	the	face	of	encroaching	realities	.	what	is	most	striking	,	though	,	is	how	strange	and	foreign	the	visitors	seem	on	the	island	.	not	having	witnessed	the	events	that	led	to	the	creation	of	the	new	myths	,	the	visitors	will	never	consider	the	rock	named	after	the	now	deceased	toriko	to	be	anything	more	than	a	curiosity	.	kametaro	is	best	qualified	among	the	visitors	to	realize	the	full	import	of	the	changes	,	and	it	is	therefore	appropriate	that	he	is	the	only	one	who	sees	a	vision	of	toriko	dancing	on	the	train	tracks	ahead	of	the	locomotive	pulling	kariya's	train	.	this	is	a	rather	clumsy	method	,	but	imamura	makes	his	point	:	kametaro	(	and	the	audience	)	are	well	on	their	way	to	realizing	that	the	story	of	toriko	has	now	become	intimately	anchored	within	the	village's	traditions	and	collective	mythology	just	as	a	large	rock	hurled	onto	the	island	became	a	part	of	the	local	lore	twenty	years	earlier	.	imamura	is	in	this	film	concerned	with	the	symbiotic	relationship	among	individual	humans	in	a	primitive	society	,	as	well	as	the	dynamic	tensions	between	civilization	and	mythology	.	he	has	managed	to	explore	the	relatively	isolated	world	of	kuragejima	with	both	his	and	the	residents'	integrity	intact	.	not	once	does	imamura	patronize	the	villagers	.	and	his	filmmaking	is	near	the	height	of	perfection	.	imamura's	documentary	style	footage	is	in	fact	decidely	manipulative	,	but	it	is	also	disarmingly	laidback	and	easygoing	enough	that	that	neither	the	narrative	impact	nor	the	cinematic	illusion	(	except	during	the	epilogue	)	is	ever	lost	.	kamigami	no	fukaki	yokubo	is	another	of	imamura's	excellent	films	,	one	that	has	endured	two	decades	of	obscurity	in	this	country	.	the	full	length	version	will	undoubtedly	transform	that	situation	for	the	better	.
neg	directed	by	michael	cristofer	.	screenplay	by	cristofer	,	based	on	the	novel	"	waltz	into	darkness	"	by	cornell	woolrich	.	starring	antonio	banderas	,	angelina	jolie	,	thomas	jane	.	running	time	:	119	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	sexual	content	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	august	14th	,	2001	.	synopsis	:	wealthy	cuban	landowner	luis	(	banderas	)	gets	more	than	he	bargained	for	when	he	sends	away	for	an	american	bride	.	not	only	does	his	new	wife	turn	out	to	be	the	beautiful	julia	(	jolie	)	,	she	also	harbours	a	secret	past	of	dubious	merit	.	soon	,	julia	has	absconded	with	both	luis'	fortune	and	his	heart	,	and	as	he	pursues	his	wife	through	the	cuban	underworld	,	luis	begins	to	realise	that	,	for	him	,	there	is	no	turning	back	.	review	:	given	the	absurdism	of	its	would	be	plot	,	it's	unlikely	that	"	original	sin	"	could	have	been	turned	into	a	reputable	piece	of	filmmaking	,	regardless	of	writer	,	director	or	stars	.	this	is	,	at	its	heart	,	b	movie	junk	:	a	lurid	melodrama	which	appeals	to	neither	the	brain	nor	the	heart	but	to	the	nether	regions	.	that	said	,	"	original	sin	"	could	at	least	have	become	enjoyable	junk	had	the	filmmakers	embraced	its	trashiness	and	indulged	in	it	.	instead	,	cristofer	seems	to	have	mistaken	this	for	a	serious	production	,	and	directs	it	as	such	.	the	result	is	a	vapid	,	uninteresting	morass	of	obvious	crosses	and	double	crosses	,	as	likely	to	incite	a	yawn	as	a	thrill	.	consider	the	initial	sex	scene	between	banderas	and	jolie	:	brightly	lit	and	mostly	filmed	from	above	,	it	looks	like	an	excerpt	from	an	amateur	soft	porn	show	.	cristofer	doesn't	even	manage	to	capture	the	allure	of	cuba	;	instead	of	portraying	his	setting	as	a	steamy	,	sensuous	island	paradise	,	it	appears	bland	and	lifeless	.	at	least	banderas	and	jolie	manage	to	inspire	some	interest	;	there	are	hints	at	times	that	they	want	to	have	more	fun	with	the	script	,	but	aren't	being	given	the	chance	.	the	same	cannot	be	said	of	jane	,	whose	billy	is	nebbish	and	transparent	.	also	unwise	is	the	jolie	framing	sequence	,	which	practically	gives	away	the	film's	denouement	.	copyright	2001	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	a	shannon	patrick	sullivan	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	go	.	to	drwho	history	__	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	but	some	of	us	are	looking	at	the	stars	__
neg	starring	:	keanu	reeves	,	james	spader	,	marisa	tomei	.	when	i	first	saw	the	previews	for	joe	charbonic's	new	serial	killer	thriller	,	i	thought	"	hey	maybe	keanu	might	come	out	with	a	somewhat	decent	movie	"	.	i	was	somewhat	disappointed	with	"	the	matrix	"	though	i	liked	it	never	the	less	.	i	went	into	"	the	watcher	"	expecting	a	somewhat	good	serial	killer	flick	and	walked	out	with	a	headache	,	some	confusion	and	wondering	why	they	wanted	to	make	this	movie	in	the	first	place	.	i	may	be	the	only	one	to	give	this	movie	this	low	of	a	rating	,	but	when	you	have	to	sit	through	a	movie	,	checking	your	watch	every	five	minutes	to	see	if	it	is	over	yet	,	then	it	is	definately	bad	to	me	.	james	spader	plays	a	detective	who	has	been	haunted	from	memories	of	his	past	.	a	killer	has	been	following	him	trying	to	latch	on	to	him	,	after	he	did	something	horrible	to	his	girlfriend	.	he	has	a	therapist	(	marisa	tomei	)	who	is	trying	to	help	him	through	all	this	trauma	he	is	going	through	.	now	the	killer	(	keanu	reeves	)	is	sending	him	pictures	of	the	girls	he	is	going	to	kill	,	and	spader	has	one	day	to	try	to	find	them	before	its	too	late	.	now	all	of	new	york	city	has	to	strap	down	and	try	to	find	these	girls	before	the	body	count	becomes	bigger	.	jumbled	plot	?	bad	writing	?	sloppy	direction	?	flat	acting	?	thats	pretty	much	what	all	this	movie	has	in	it	.	first	of	all	the	plot	,	if	that	is	what	you	want	me	to	call	it	,	is	so	underdeveloped	that	is	painfully	confusing	and	so	predictable	that	by	the	end	of	the	movie	i	leaned	over	to	my	girlfriend	and	said	"	let's	go	"	.	i	wasn't	going	to	be	insulted	anymore	,	but	she	insisted	on	staying	saying	it	has	to	be	good	somewhere	somehow	.	of	course	when	i	left	the	theatre	she	thought	it	was	good	,	while	i	thought	the	opposite	.	i	had	to	wonder	why	keanu	reeves	a	somewhat	talented	actor	chose	such	a	terrible	role	as	a	serial	killer	,	who	isn't	believable	as	a	serial	killer	,	nor	does	he	fit	the	serial	killer	role	.	james	spader	has	never	been	someone	in	hollyweird	i	have	liked	,	and	in	"	the	watcher	"	he	doesn't	prove	to	me	he	can	really	be	anyone	i	will	like	,	after	starring	in	the	huge	flop	earlier	this	year	"	supernova	"	he	really	hasn't	had	much	in	the	way	of	a	job	.	his	character	is	completely	and	utterly	underdeveloped	and	we	know	nothing	about	him	to	like	or	dislike	.	marisa	tomei	is	one	of	the	top	billed	stars	and	has	around	fifteen	minutes	of	total	screen	time	.	joe	charbonic's	direction	is	not	good	either	,	and	some	of	the	sloppily	made	scenes	in	the	movie	are	so	dumb	that	i	started	to	get	a	pounding	headache	.	a	five	year	old	could	have	made	a	better	film	than	this	mess	.	the	script	is	somewhat	good	,	but	the	dialogue	that	comes	out	the	actors	mouth	is	stiffly	said	,	and	doesn't	make	much	sense	sometimes	.	could	"	the	watcher	"	have	been	a	good	movie	?	its	highly	doubtful	and	in	the	end	product	it	clearly	shows	that	hollywood	is	starting	to	run	out	of	steam	in	their	movies	.	with	"	almost	famous	"	coming	out	in	a	few	weeks	,	i'm	highly	waiting	for	a	really	really	good	movie	worth	the	watch	,	and	worth	the	wait	of	a	trip	to	the	movie	theatre	,	until	then	though	i	tell	you	to	avoid	"	the	watcher	"	if	anything	possible	,	go	see	"	the	way	of	the	gun	"	its	not	great	but	at	least	its	better	than	this	.
neg	seen	with	tony	in	june	1995	at	the	angelika	.	you	very	well	might	have	missed	party	girl	,	which	came	and	went	from	theaters	quicker	than	you	can	say	"	library	card	.	"	while	many	reviewers	judged	it	mainly	on	the	merits	of	lead	actress	parker	posey	(	tales	of	the	city	,	dazed	and	confused	)	,	with	entertainment	weekly	and	people	magazines	giving	it	"	b	"	ratings	,	this	fun	little	film	rises	in	ratings	appeal	when	seen	from	the	librarian's	point	of	view	.	inline	our	protagonist	is	mary	,	a	doyenne	of	the	downtown	scene	.	when	her	latest	illegal	rent	party	is	busted	by	the	police	,	she	is	bailed	out	by	her	godmother	(	played	by	sasha	von	scherler	)	,	a	nypl	librarian	.	to	pay	off	her	debt	,	mary	becomes	a	clerk	at	a	branch	library	(	a	jersey	city	library	posed	as	a	nypl	branch	for	this	film	)	and	is	immediately	challenged	as	irresponsible	and	not	up	to	the	"	challenge	.	"	mary	eventually	memorized	the	ddc20	and	begins	her	quest	better	living	by	getting	an	mls	.	along	the	way	,	mary	is	also	involved	in	helping	her	disc	jockey	friend	,	leo	(	guillermo	diaz	)	get	a	job	,	and	in	a	romance	with	falafel	vendor	mustafa	(	omar	townsend	)	i	noticed	that	the	scenes	i	reacted	to	most	did	not	concur	with	the	audience's	.	those	who	reacted	along	with	me	must	have	also	been	librarians	and	other	likeminded	people	.	hearing	the	librarians'	professional	bickering	,	seeing	the	fans	blowing	on	water	damaged	books	,	and	other	little	touches	would	most	likely	only	be	best	appreciated	by	those	in	the	know	.	scene	to	watch	for	:	mary	confronts	a	patron	who	reshelves	a	book	improperly	.	what	really	makes	party	girl	stand	out	,	from	the	mls	(	masters	of	libary	science	)	point	of	view	,	is	that	becoming	a	librarian	is	seen	a	constructive	,	positive	objective	,	rather	than	a	punishment	.	fifty	years	ago	,	the	worst	thing	that	could	have	happened	to	mary	baily	in	it's	a	wonderful	life	is	to	have	become	a	librarian	.	after	decades	of	hollywood	showing	the	profession	in	the	most	unflattering	poses	,	party	girl	shows	us	a	hip	downtowner	deciding	to	improve	her	life	by	getting	an	mls	.	a	nice	change	of	pace	and	certainly	worth	looking	for	in	the	videostores	.	basically	,	if	you	are	somewhat	familiar	with	libraries	,	falafel	,	the	dewey	decimal	system	,	house	music	,	babganoush	,	or	new	york	city	,	you	will	probably	enjoy	this	movie	.	the	perfect	break	for	those	times	your	not	at	the	library	yourself	.	note	:	this	review	originally	appeared	under	this	title	in	keywords	,	the	newsletter	of	the	queens	college	graduate	school	of	library	and	information	studies	student	association	.	reprinted	with	my	permission	(	since	i	wrote	the	review	and	edit	the	newsletter	)	.	librarians	will	also	enjoy	desk	set	(	1957	)	.	_________________________________________________________________	copyright	(	c	)	1997	seth	j	.	bookey	,	new	york	,	ny	10021more	movie	reviews	by	seth	bookey	,	with	graphics	,	can	be	found	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	athens	2679	kino	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	athens	2679	kino	.	html	a
neg	rated	r	starring	claire	danes	,	omar	epps	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	dennis	farina	,	josh	brolin	,	steve	harris	,	michael	lerner	,	richard	jenkins	written	by	stephen	t	.	kay	,	scott	silver	,	and	kate	lanier	directed	by	scott	silver	about	five	minutes	into	scott	silver's	awful	the	mod	squad	,	i	had	already	made	up	my	mind	to	leave	the	theater	.	but	just	as	i	was	getting	out	of	my	chair	,	a	feeling	hit	me	.	maybe	by	the	end	of	this	review	,	i'll	know	what	that	feeling	was	.	now	i	know	that	in	most	of	my	reviews	i	reserve	the	second	paragraph	to	describe	the	plot	,	but	i	looked	hard	at	the	mod	squad	and	couldn't	find	one	.	those	of	you	who	watched	the	60's	tv	series	on	which	this	film	is	based	know	that	the	"	mod	squad	"	is	a	group	of	three	young	criminals	(	claire	danes	,	omar	epps	,	giovanni	ribisi	)	who	are	sent	out	to	become	undercover	cops	.	in	this	two	hour	long	episode	(	hmm	,	maybe	the	show	wasn't	this	bad	)	they	are	sent	out	by	their	boss	(	dennis	farina	)	to	execute	some	kind	of	drug	bust	.	the	funny	thing	is	that	there	is	not	one	engaging	plot	twist	to	be	found	at	all	.	for	some	reason	though	,	when	i	decided	not	to	walk	out	,	i	became	oddly	drawn	towards	the	screen	.	in	no	way	was	i	engrossed	in	the	experience	,	but	there	was	something	subtle	in	the	film	that	begged	me	to	like	it	even	the	slightest	bit	.	i	mean	,	the	film	at	least	lookd	great	,	thanks	to	some	great	cinematography	by	ellen	kuras	and	three	very	fresh	looking	young	faces	.	each	one	of	these	actors	has	shown	incredible	potential	in	their	prior	film	outings	.	get	danes	,	epps	,	and	ribisi	together	in	a	film	with	a	decent	script	and	i'll	be	first	in	line	to	see	it	.	and	somebody	please	give	giovanni	ribisi	a	good	role	!	how	come	the	brat	pack	from	suburbia	(	steve	zahn	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	parker	posey	,	ajay	naidu	)	is	all	of	a	sudden	selling	out	.	suburbia's	one	of	my	favorite	movies	for	g	d's	sake	!	as	you	can	tell	by	now	,	i	have	gone	off	topic	in	this	very	personal	review	of	the	mod	squad	,	but	i	have	finally	figured	out	what	made	me	sit	through	it	.	i	ended	up	feeling	sorry	not	for	any	character	in	the	film	,	but	for	the	entire	production	itself	.	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
neg	director	:	ivan	reitman	cast	:	harrison	ford	,	anne	heche	,	david	schwimmer	,	jacqueline	obradors	,	temuera	morrison	,	danny	trejo	screenplay	:	michael	browning	producers	:	roger	birnbaum	,	wallis	nicita	,	ivan	reitman	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	hollywood	pictures	rated	pg	13	:	language	,	adult	themes	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	movies	like	six	days	,	seven	nights	make	me	mad	because	talented	people	like	harrison	ford	,	anne	heche	,	and	ivan	reitman	put	a	lot	of	hard	work	in	to	a	script	worth	about	ten	cents	.	the	script	was	written	by	michael	browning	,	and	he	decided	that	,	instead	of	thinking	up	new	ideas	,	he'd	rehash	a	lot	of	cliches	,	omit	even	the	slightest	bit	of	character	development	,	and	then	throw	in	drug	dealing	pirates	to	provide	for	a	few	high	level	action	sequences	and	explosions	.	there	are	good	scripts	out	there	that	high	profile	actors	can	make	(	see	the	truman	show	,	for	instance	)	.	six	days	,	seven	nights	is	simply	a	waste	.	let's	see	.	.	.	we	have	to	get	harrison	ford	and	anne	heche	alone	on	an	island	.	so	,	how	do	we	do	that	?	well	,	we'll	make	her	a	feisty	magazine	editor	,	and	we'll	make	him	a	crusty	old	pilot	.	but	wait	,	she	has	to	have	a	fiance	;	that	can	be	david	schwimmer	.	but	wait	,	if	she	has	a	fiance	,	how	will	she	and	harrison	ford	crash	on	the	island	alone	?	i	know	!	they'll	get	to	their	vacation	spot	,	and	then	she'll	get	called	back	!	yessssss	!	so	,	they'll	crash	on	the	island	,	and	that	will	be	funny	for	about	five	minutes	.	shucks	.	oh	,	i've	got	it	!	we'll	throw	in	a	distracting	subplot	in	which	her	fiance	has	sex	with	a	really	attractive	woman	who	acts	like	a	bimbo	,	and	then	he	can	feel	guilty	.	then	,	when	anne	heche	kisses	harrison	ford	(	they	have	to	kiss	,	because	otherwise	nobody	will	want	to	see	the	movie	)	,	it	will	be	a	vindicated	action	,	because	her	fiance	will	already	have	cheated	on	her	!	then	,	for	no	obvious	reason	,	they'll	accidentally	run	into	pirates	who	try	to	kill	them	.	oh	,	yes	!	i	feel	so	good	about	this	story	.	instead	of	using	characterization	to	propel	the	events	,	it	will	be	completely	random	,	and	yet	totally	predictable	!	imagine	that	.	don't	get	me	wrong	six	days	,	seven	nights	is	not	a	boring	picture	;	ford	and	heche	both	do	a	great	job	.	the	sparks	fly	between	them	,	and	so	most	of	browning's	inane	dialogue	is	drowned	out	by	the	actors'	sheer	force	of	talent	.	almost	every	scene	between	them	has	energy	that	the	performers	bring	to	the	screen	,	and	i	found	myself	laughing	pretty	hard	.	schwimmer	is	also	funny	,	and	manages	to	milk	all	of	his	scenes	for	whatever	he	can	get	.	and	reitman	,	who	has	made	some	good	films	,	at	least	tries	to	make	things	exciting	.	even	though	the	pirate	subplot	is	profoundly	dumb	,	i	was	prepared	to	be	pleasantly	sidetracked	by	the	action	sequences	.	it's	just	when	i	start	to	think	about	the	story	that	my	contempt	for	this	film	surfaces	.	the	picture	feels	like	it's	been	hacked	to	pieces	i	wouldn't	be	surprised	if	five	or	six	inept	subplots	have	been	edited	out	completely	.	the	ones	that	are	here	are	as	bad	as	they	come	(	i	think	i	let	out	a	very	audible	groan	when	they	get	the	first	glimpse	of	the	pirate	ships	)	,	and	i'd	just	like	to	shake	the	producers	by	the	shoulders	and	scream	,	"	why	did	you	pick	this	awful	script	!	?	"	the	film	is	outright	stupid	,	but	some	of	the	elements	are	subtly	horrifying	.	for	instance	,	take	the	subplot	in	which	the	schwimmer	character	has	sex	with	the	bimbo	,	and	then	feels	really	guilty	.	this	is	a	serious	problem	in	real	life	,	but	six	days	,	seven	nights	reduces	any	chance	of	complexity	to	a	weak	plot	device	:	his	actions	are	what	makes	it	okay	for	heche	to	kiss	ford	.	in	a	script	that	lacks	even	a	glimpse	of	intelligent	subtlety	,	i	find	it	odd	that	such	a	strangely	insulting	device	ended	up	in	the	story	.	this	is	summer	movie	season	,	but	that	doesn't	mean	our	movies	have	to	be	dumb	.	1998	so	far	has	been	one	of	the	worst	years	in	recent	memory	for	summer	blockbusters	.	when	i	was	in	line	for	six	days	,	seven	nights	,	i	heard	the	woman	in	front	of	me	ask	for	"	two	tickets	to	that	new	harrison	ford	movie	.	"	why	didn't	she	know	the	name	of	the	film	?	i	suppose	she	just	didn't	care	.	what	bothers	me	even	more	is	that	the	people	who	make	these	big	budget	pictures	don't	realize	that	their	films	are	becoming	parodies	of	themselves	.	good	actors	should	sign	to	good	scripts	,	and	if	hollywood	insists	on	making	flicks	to	rake	in	cash	,	they	least	they	could	do	is	assume	that	we'd	like	to	spend	our	money	on	a	story	worth	more	than	ten	cents	.
neg	directed	by	steven	zaillian	.	cast	:	john	travolta	,	robert	duvall	,	stephen	fry	,	william	h	.	macy	,	james	gandolfini	,	kathleen	quinlan	,	tony	shalhoub	,	dan	hedaya	,	john	lithgow	,	mary	mara	,	kathy	bates	.	1998	115	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	(	for	profanity	)	.	reviewed	january	10	,	1999	.	since	director	steven	zaillian	previously	wrote	the	powerful	screenplay	for	1993's	steven	spielberg	drama	"	schindler's	list	"	and	directed	1993's	intelligent	"	searching	for	bobby	fischer	,	"	his	new	film	,	"	a	civil	action	,	"	should	most	likely	be	looked	upon	as	an	unfortunate	misstep	in	an	otherwise	prosperous	career	.	what	doesn't	make	sense	is	how	such	high	profile	and	superb	actors	as	john	travolta	,	robert	duvall	,	william	h	.	macy	,	and	kathleen	quinlan	got	involved	in	this	project	,	which	is	both	dull	and	completely	ineffective	.	the	film	,	which	involves	a	small	community	of	children	who	mysteriously	died	of	leukemia	,	certainly	contains	the	type	of	story	to	be	emotionally	charged	,	but	somehow	all	signs	of	feeling	have	been	completely	removed	from	the	proceedings	,	leaving	us	with	nothing	more	than	a	poorly	done	courtroom	drama	.	based	on	a	book	by	jonathan	hart	,	which	was	consequently	based	on	a	true	account	,	"	a	civil	action	"	is	set	in	1982	in	the	town	of	woburn	,	mass	.	,	where	personal	injury	lawyer	jan	schlictmann	(	john	travolta	)	decides	to	take	on	the	case	of	eight	families	who	simply	want	an	apology	for	their	children's	death	from	leukemia	due	to	unknown	causes	.	jan	originally	decides	to	drop	the	case	,	but	when	he	stumbles	across	to	corporate	giants	,	grace	and	beatrice	foods	,	who	have	plants	located	near	the	families'	homes	,	he	sees	all	of	the	pieces	suddenly	fall	into	place	:	the	two	companies	have	been	leaking	harmful	chemicals	into	the	nearby	lake	which	,	thus	,	goes	into	the	city's	drinking	water	.	suddenly	,	after	hearing	about	the	families'	heartbreak	and	personal	stories	,	he	begins	to	care	for	them	and	becomes	determined	to	get	to	the	bottom	of	the	mystery	,	even	though	he	is	warned	by	his	staff	accountant	(	william	h	.	macy	)	that	no	money	is	coming	in	to	them	,	only	going	out	.	also	figuring	into	the	story	is	jerome	facher	(	robert	duvall	)	,	beatrice	foods'	corporate	counsel	,	who	finds	himself	in	heated	waters	when	jan	will	not	accept	his	20	million	offer	to	settle	the	case	.	coming	from	such	a	talented	writer	,	director	,	and	cast	,	not	to	mention	one	of	the	most	interesting	film	composers	,	danny	elfman	,	"	a	civil	action	"	is	an	astoundingly	empty	headed	drama	,	one	that	includes	an	intriguing	story	and	somehow	transforms	it	into	an	admittedly	tiresome	and	occasionally	even	boring	experience	.	perhaps	one	of	its	major	problems	was	that	in	its	attempts	to	be	a	relatively	uncommercial	motion	picture	,	zaillian	has	misplaced	its	refreshing	unconventional	attitude	with	an	absence	of	magnetism	and	even	meaning	.	watching	the	film	,	i	couldn't	help	but	notice	its	similarities	with	1997's	far	,	far	superior	film	"	the	sweet	hereafter	,	"	which	dealt	with	a	lawyer	,	played	brilliantly	by	ian	holm	,	investigating	a	school	bus	accident	that	killed	a	number	of	children	.	in	his	attempts	to	find	someone	who	may	have	been	responsible	for	the	accident	,	holm	interviews	the	grieving	parents	,	as	well	as	the	sole	surviving	passenger	,	a	teenage	girl	,	which	starts	to	remind	him	of	his	own	teenage	daughter	,	a	young	drug	addict	who	has	run	away	from	home	.	not	only	was	the	plotting	similar	to	"	a	civil	action	,	"	but	it	also	had	the	same	exact	running	time	of	115	minutes	.	considering	this	,	it	is	amazing	how	fulfilling	and	truthful	"	a	sweet	hereafter	"	was	,	not	only	concentrating	on	the	school	bus	accident	,	but	delving	deeply	into	ian	holm's	character	and	his	own	personal	demons	,	as	well	as	the	teenage	girl	.	in	"	a	civil	action	,	"	however	,	i	have	no	idea	where	the	running	time	went	,	since	the	film	is	virtually	two	hours	of	nothingness	.	we	do	not	get	to	know	the	parents	very	well	,	nor	any	of	the	main	characters	.	through	its	whole	duration	,	i	did	not	learn	one	thing	__	not	one	thing	__	about	travolta's	lawyer	character	,	jan	schlictmann	,	who	doesn't	appear	to	have	any	sort	of	life	or	purpose	outside	of	his	job	.	every	scene	is	tediously	related	directly	to	the	premise	,	and	therefore	,	there	was	no	one	for	me	to	care	about	or	root	for	.	you've	got	to	work	pretty	hard	,	actually	,	to	not	get	an	audience	to	become	involved	in	the	parents'	plight	,	since	their	children	are	dead	,	but	that	is	exactly	what	"	a	civil	action	"	does	.	to	be	honest	,	i	would	be	fairly	hard	pressed	to	state	an	aspect	of	the	film	that	i	actually	liked	.	aside	from	one	flashback	to	when	a	man's	young	son	died	on	the	way	to	the	doctor	,	i	remained	unmoved	and	passive	about	what	was	going	on	in	the	scenes	,	and	more	than	once	found	my	mind	wandering	.	i	could	say	the	performances	were	good	,	but	who's	fooling	who	?	since	every	character	is	one	dimensionally	written	,	no	one's	acting	abilities	are	challenged	in	any	way	.	travolta	plays	a	lawyer	well	enough	,	but	that's	about	all	he	does	.	duvall	virtually	sleepwalks	through	his	role	,	apparently	only	appearing	to	give	one	liners	at	every	chance	he	gets	.	and	what	in	the	world	is	kathy	bates	doing	in	the	picture's	final	scene	,	as	a	judge	?	she	appears	unbilled	,	since	it	is	just	a	cameo	,	but	why	did	she	even	agree	to	do	it	in	the	first	place	?	finally	,	when	the	conclusion	arrived	and	the	end	credits	began	to	role	,	the	film	left	me	with	another	question	:	what	was	the	point	?	abruptly	ending	without	any	susceptible	momentum	,	where	none	came	before	that	to	begin	with	,	"	a	civil	action	"	seemed	to	me	,	at	least	,	to	be	an	example	of	how	not	to	make	a	courtroom	drama	,	and	it	certainly	did	not	do	justice	to	the	very	serious	subject	matter	the	film	deals	with	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	haven	a
neg	the	trailer	for	this	low	budget	,	independently	financed	documentary	made	it	appear	as	if	american	movie	was	a	po	faced	piss	take	on	the	making	of	the	blair	witch	project	.	but	it	is	so	much	more	.	the	brainchild	of	chris	smith	,	american	movie	is	a	journey	through	the	frustrations	and	anguish	of	the	low	budget	film	maker	.	it	is	enough	to	either	inspire	all	young	hopeful	film	makers	that	hope	and	naivet	can	eventually	triumph	over	adversity	and	inexperience	,	or	else	it	will	send	them	and	their	cameras	packing	fearing	that	the	task	of	making	a	low	budget	film	is	almost	impossible	in	today's	climate	.	smith	documents	the	trials	and	tribulations	of	mark	borchardt	,	an	aspiring	young	film	maker	from	wisconsin	,	as	he	tries	to	get	his	masterpiece	northwestern	up	and	running	.	to	raise	the	finance	for	his	feature	film	though	he	first	has	to	complete	work	on	his	short	film	coven	and	then	sell	3000	units	on	video	.	american	movie	is	an	up	close	and	intimately	personal	portrait	of	borchardt's	struggle	,	both	financially	and	spiritually	,	to	achieve	his	dream	.	this	film	was	nearly	three	years	in	the	making	,	as	smith	followed	borchardt	around	,	recording	his	frustrating	efforts	to	complete	his	film	without	compromising	his	vision	or	artistic	integrity	.	we	follow	borchardt	through	film	festivals	,	trying	to	hype	interest	in	his	project	,	as	well	as	his	endeavours	to	cast	and	complete	his	short	horror	film	.	when	the	going	gets	tough	,	borchardt's	relatives	,	including	the	unforgettable	82	year	old	uncle	bill	,	come	to	the	rescue	,	with	funding	and	physical	assistance	.	but	the	most	amazing	character	we	meet	here	is	mike	schank	,	who	has	provided	the	film's	music	as	well	as	doubling	as	a	production	assistant	.	if	anyone	can	come	close	to	stealing	a	documentary	then	it	is	the	intriguing	schank	,	whose	deadpan	style	and	earnestness	are	unforced	yet	endearingly	hilarious	.	the	film	also	blurs	the	distinction	between	the	film	maker	and	his	subjects	,	as	smith	and	borchardt	become	friends	off	camera	,	adding	yet	another	more	intimate	dimension	to	the	documentary	.	so	cleverly	put	together	is	this	off	beat	film	that	,	at	times	,	it	is	hard	to	tell	whether	american	movie	is	the	genuine	article	or	yet	another	of	the	increasing	series	of	mock	documentaries	(	like	bigger	than	tina	,	etc	)	that	have	recently	hit	our	screens	.	the	background	notes	certainly	make	it	appear	real	!	throughout	the	film	smith	displays	a	dry	and	very	droll	sense	of	humour	,	although	not	everyone	will	find	the	film	particularly	funny	.	american	movie	has	an	almost	unstructured	narrative	style	and	many	self	indulgent	passages	that	will	probably	appall	as	many	as	it	pleases	.	american	movie	will	not	be	to	everyone's	tastes	.	this	is	a	film	that	you	will	either	love	or	hate	!
neg	cast	:	melissa	joan	hart	,	adrien	grenier	,	stephen	collins	,	faye	grant	written	by	:	rob	thomas	based	on	the	novel	"	how	i	created	my	perfect	prom	date	"	written	by	:	todd	strasser	directed	by	:	john	schultz	running	time	:	91	minutes	the	law	of	crowd	pleasing	romantic	movies	states	that	the	two	leads	must	end	up	together	by	film's	end	.	if	you're	not	familiar	with	this	law	,	then	maybe	you've	seen	the	trailer	for	this	film	which	shows	that	the	two	leads	are	together	by	film's	end	.	now	if	you're	a	regular	reader	of	mine	,	you've	heard	me	say	this	countless	times	:	you	know	how	drive	me	crazy	is	going	to	end	,	but	is	the	journey	to	get	to	that	ending	worth	it	?	no	,	it	definitely	is	not	.	melissa	joan	hart	(	from	abc's	"	sabrina	,	the	teenage	witch	"	)	likes	a	hunky	stud	on	the	basketball	team	.	adrien	grenier	is	her	grungy	neighbor	who's	just	broken	up	with	his	activist	girlfriend	.	apparently	he	wants	to	make	his	ex	girlfriend	jealous	enough	to	take	him	back	,	and	she	wants	someone	to	take	her	to	the	big	year	end	dance	.	so	the	two	pretend	to	date	for	some	reason	,	but	only	after	hart	gives	grenier	a	bath	to	turn	him	into	a	hunky	stud	.	will	grenier	like	his	new	popularity	and	turn	on	his	friends	?	will	this	crazy	scheme	work	?	do	i	care	?	the	teen	comedy	resurgence	of	late	has	been	surprisingly	good	in	terms	of	comedy	.	what	makes	movies	like	can't	hardly	wait	and	10	things	i	hate	about	you	work	(	and	to	a	lesser	extent	,	she's	all	that	and	never	been	kissed	)	is	because	the	writers	of	those	films	seem	to	realize	that	high	school	is	a	joke	and	write	their	scripts	accordingly	.	i	don't	know	what	the	writer's	intention	was	with	drive	me	crazy	.	there	was	some	smart	comedy	in	those	films	to	make	the	obvious	endings	worth	getting	to	.	here	there's	nothing	.	.	.	just	teens	whining	about	who's	going	to	take	them	to	the	big	dance	.	do	me	a	favor	kids	,	go	get	a	job	or	something	.	.	.	just	shut	the	hell	up	.	in	all	honesty	,	the	best	part	of	this	film	is	the	end	credits	.	now	normally	when	i	say	that	it's	followed	with	the	joke	"	.	.	.	because	the	movie	is	finally	over	.	"	in	this	case	though	the	end	credits	really	are	the	most	entertaining	part	of	the	film	.	after	the	obligatory	second	playing	of	britney	spears'	titular	song	,	there's	a	quick	commercial	jingle	for	a	burger	joint	the	kids	in	the	film	hang	out	in	and	a	brief	rendition	of	the	school	song	for	their	high	school	.	nothing	great	,	but	more	entertaining	than	anything	in	the	90	minutes	which	preceded	them	.	sci	fi	fans	take	note	:	there	are	brief	appearances	from	stephen	collins	(	star	trek	:	the	motion	picture	)	and	faye	grant	(	the	tv	miniseries	"	v	"	and	"	v	:	the	final	battle	"	)	.	pg	13	the	jacksonville	film	journal	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	"	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	a	1999	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.
neg	director	:	guy	ferland	writer	:	guy	ferland	(	based	on	a	story	by	robert	coover	)	starring	:	alicia	silverstone	,	jeremy	london	,	nicky	katt	,	j	.	t	.	walsh	,	lee	garlington	,	george	segal	everybody	in	this	film's	thinking	of	alicia	.	no	,	this	is	not	a	documentary	on	those	of	us	after	we	first	saw	the	"	cryin'	"	video	.	this	is	one	of	those	erotic	thrillers	,	but	not	like	one	starring	shannon	whirry	or	shannon	tweed	.	first	off	,	there's	zero	sex	,	almost	no	nudity	,	and	it's	not	as	well	plotted	as	one	of	those	tweed	flicks	.	well	,	anyway	.	the	"	plot	.	"	alicia	plays	,	well	,	the	babysitter	,	who	is	taking	care	of	some	kids	one	night	while	the	parents	(	j	.	t	.	walsh	and	lee	garlington	)	go	out	to	a	party	.	the	film	,	trying	to	be	like	one	of	those	introspective	erotic	thrillers	,	shows	every	characters'	thoughts	,	except	alicia's	.	the	thing	is	alicia's	in	most	of	them	in	most	cases	,	and	the	thoughts	aren't	too	kosher	.	first	off	,	there's	her	boyfriend	(	jeremy	london	,	who	gave	one	of	the	all	time	lousy	performances	in	"	mallrats	,	"	and	is	only	a	notch	better	here	)	,	who's	a	dorky	kid	who	hangs	out	with	a	kind	of	bully	,	played	by	nicky	katt	from	"	suburbia	"	(	who	shows	he's	got	that	quiet	creepiness	down	pat	once	again	)	.	they	decide	they	want	to	crash	her	babysitting	job	,	looking	for	the	typical	babysitting	hanky	panky	.	somethine	like	that	.	the	film	intercuts	between	the	subplots	(	alicia	babysitting	,	nicky	and	jeremy	,	the	party	)	and	each	characters'	thoughts	.	we	get	to	see	jeremy	and	nicky's	dreams	of	doing	a	little	threeway	with	alicia	,	j	.	t	.	thinking	of	coming	home	to	find	alicia	naked	in	the	bathtub	(	she	has	it	all	covered	up	,	the	little	tease	)	,	and	,	worst	of	all	,	lee	garlington	dreaming	of	that	hunk	,	george	segal	.	it	even	shows	them	in	bed	together	.	yea	.	i	so	wanted	to	see	george	and	lee	garlington	in	bed	,	though	i	guess	i'm	used	to	george	after	seeing	her	and	mary	tyler	moore	fooling	around	in	"	flirting	with	disaster	.	"	the	ending	is	some	kind	of	big	tragedy	thing	,	but	come	on	.	like	we	care	about	any	of	the	characters	.	the	only	interesting	one	is	alicia	,	mainly	because	she's	alicia	,	and	we	mostly	see	her	in	the	fantasies	.	so	i	guess	she's	some	kind	of	mystery	or	something	.	but	she	is	never	explored	further	.	so	,	basically	,	this	film	is	just	a	series	of	mastabatory	images	,	sometimes	featuring	a	non	nude	alicia	(	once	again	,	sadly	)	,	sometimes	featuring	a	scantily	clad	george	segal	(	once	again	,	sadly	)	.	i	watched	this	on	one	of	those	free	previews	of	showtime	or	cinemax	one	night	,	and	let	me	tell	you	,	it	is	the	only	way	to	watch	this	film	.	i	mean	,	there's	a	reason	they	put	these	kinds	of	films	on	late	at	night	:	they're	just	as	good	as	sleeping	pills	.	and	this	one	is	one	big	fat	waste	of	time	,	even	for	an	alicia	film	.
neg	so	ask	yourself	what	"	8mm	"	(	"	eight	millimeter	"	)	is	really	all	about	.	is	it	about	a	wholesome	surveillance	man	who	loses	sight	of	his	values	after	becoming	enmeshed	in	the	seedy	,	sleazy	underworld	of	hardcore	pornography	?	is	it	about	the	business	itself	,	how	,	bubbling	just	beneath	the	surface	of	big	town	americana	,	there's	a	sordid	world	of	sick	and	depraved	people	who	won't	necessarily	stop	short	of	murder	in	order	to	satisfy	their	sick	and	twisted	desires	?	or	is	it	about	those	who	can	,	those	who	are	in	a	position	to	influence	the	making	of	the	kinds	of	films	sick	and	demented	people	want	to	see	?	i'm	not	talking	about	snuff	films	,	supposed	"	documentaries	"	of	victims	being	brutalized	and	killed	on	camera	.	i'm	talking	about	films	like	"	8mm	"	and	its	director	,	joel	schumacher	.	with	a	recent	run	of	big	budget	movies	to	his	credit	"	batman	robin	,	"	"	a	time	to	kill	,	"	"	batman	forever	,	"	"	the	client	"	schumacher	certainly	has	that	kind	of	influence	.	is	"	8mm	"	something	you	really	want	to	see	?	probably	not	.	the	first	two	thirds	of	"	8mm	"	unwind	as	a	fairly	conventional	missing	persons	drama	,	albeit	with	a	particularly	unsavory	core	.	then	,	as	it's	been	threatening	all	along	,	the	film	explodes	into	violence	.	and	just	when	you	think	it's	finally	over	,	schumacher	tags	on	a	ridiculous	self	righteous	finale	that	drags	the	whole	unpleasant	experience	down	even	further	.	trust	me	.	there	are	better	ways	to	waste	two	hours	of	your	life	.	nicolas	'	"	snake	eyes	"	'	cage	plays	private	investigator	tom	welles	who	is	hired	by	a	wealthy	philadelphia	widow	to	determine	whether	a	reel	of	film	found	in	her	late	husband's	safe	documents	a	young	girl's	murder	.	welles	goes	about	his	assignment	rather	matter	of	factly	,	and	the	pieces	of	the	puzzle	fall	into	place	rather	neatly	,	almost	as	if	you	don't	need	any	specialized	skills	or	training	to	do	this	.	welles	certainly	makes	it	look	easy	.	and	cops	,	obviously	,	never	look	in	toilet	tanks	for	clues	.	the	deeper	welles	digs	into	his	investigation	the	more	obsessed	he	becomes	,	like	george	c	.	scott	in	paul	schrader's	"	hardcore	.	"	occasionally	,	a	little	flickering	sound	whirs	in	his	head	like	sprockets	winding	through	a	film	projector	,	reminding	him	of	his	unpleasant	task	.	there	are	hints	that	this	is	taking	its	toll	on	his	lovely	wife	,	played	by	catherine	keener	,	who	is	frustrated	by	her	husband	spending	all	of	his	time	in	cleveland	rather	than	in	their	ugly	split	level	home	in	harrisburg	,	pa	.	"	8mm	"	doesn't	condemn	or	condone	its	subject	matter	,	it	just	exploits	it	.	the	irony	,	of	course	,	is	that	schumacher	and	"	seven	"	scribe	andrew	kevin	walker's	vision	of	life	in	the	snuff	lane	is	limited	by	what	they	can	show	in	an	r	rated	,	first	run	hollywood	product	.	so	we	only	see	snippets	of	snuff	,	and	a	lot	more	footage	of	nicolas	cage	covering	his	face	in	horror	.	later	it's	the	turn	of	joaquin	phoenix	(	who's	quite	good	and	by	far	the	film's	most	interesting	character	as	adult	bookstore	flunky	max	california	)	to	cover	his	face	as	the	horrid	thing	is	screened	over	and	over	again	.	all	this	to	get	to	the	familiar	yet	offensive	"	revelation	"	that	sexual	deviants	are	not	,	indeed	,	monsters	but	everyday	people	like	you	and	me	.	neither	super	nor	standard	,	"	8mm	"	is	shocking	only	in	its	banality	.
neg	"	easely	one	of	the	worst	films	of	the	year	.	.	"	with	the	millenium	just	around	the	corner	,	hollywood	is	playing	with	our	insecurities	concerning	the	biggest	event	of	this	century	.	this	time	it	is	arnold	schwartzenegger	against	the	powers	of	evil	.	the	result	is	somewhat	predictable	.	i	didn't	have	high	hopes	about	arnold's	"	much	anticipated	"	return	to	the	big	screen	.	schwarzenegger	fans	will	probably	be	pleased	,	action	lovers	won't	be	bored	,	and	the	catholic	league	will	be	angry	.	everyone	else	will	see	'end	of	days'	for	what	it	is	:	a	deliciously	bad	motion	picture	.	think	of	it	as	hollywood's	own	y2k	bug	.	did	you	know	that	if	you	turn	the	three	diabolical	numbers	666	you'll	get	999	,	as	in	1999	?	yes	,	you	better	believe	it	.	.	satan	is	here	on	earth	,	working	on	his	latest	project	the	end	of	days	.	this	time	it	is	gabriel	burne	who	gets	the	privilege	to	play	lucifer	and	,	although	not	al	pacino	,	he	is	fun	to	behold	.	he	coolly	strolls	through	manhattan	in	the	borrowed	body	of	an	investment	banker	,	wreaking	,	as	they	say	,	havoc	.	the	way	it	works	is	he	smirks	and	something	explodes	.	before	the	stroke	of	the	new	millennium	he's	got	to	find	and	impregnate	a	certain	woman	in	order	to	climb	out	from	under	a	heavenly	curse	as	spelled	out	in	the	book	of	revelations	.	only	schwarzenegger's	cop	attached	to	an	anti	terrorist	unit	can	stop	him	.	films	like	this	has	one	serious	weakness	logic	.	no	matter	how	you	twist	the	"	plot	"	,	you'll	find	it	incredibly	stupid	(	even	for	a	schwartzenegger	movie	!	)	.	the	incredible	fact	is	that	such	directors	never	learn	.	after	thousands	of	headless	productions	,	this	theme	has	become	one	big	clich	.	here	the	devil	looks	more	like	a	sex	addicted	maniac	that	has	just	got	out	of	a	mental	institution	.	he	is	walking	around	n	.	y	.	,	blowing	everything	up	and	killing	everyone	that	gets	in	a	5	meter	radius	.	all	he	wants	is	the	girl	,	that	is	somehow	special	.	but	schwartzenegger	is	more	clever	than	he	looks	,	he	has	hidden	her	in	a	church	,	where	satan	dare	not	enter	.	so	the	evil	one	is	forced	to	seduce	the	good	cop	in	order	to	get	the	valuable	information	:	"	you	can	have	your	wife	and	daughter	back	.	.	i	can	give	you	happiness	that	you	can	only	dream	of	.	.	just	give	me	the	address	.	.	"	indeed	with	a	script	like	that	,	you	could	make	a	wonderful	parody	,	but	unfortunately	the	director	is	taking	this	subject	very	seriously	,	attempting	to	create	a	provoking	an	dramatic	thriller	.	and	for	you	who	have	awaited	arnold	swartzenegger's	comeback	,	will	not	be	very	satisfied	.	we've	not	seen	him	in	a	while	.	that's	because	he	didn't	have	a	worthy	opponent	.	he	has	battled	nuclear	terrorists	on	earth	and	power	mad	conspirators	on	mars	.	he	has	taken	on	alien	predators	in	the	darkest	reaches	of	the	jungle	and	morphing	cyberkillers	that	seemingly	nothing	can	stop	.	so	,	after	all	those	fights	,	what's	left	for	arnold	schwarzenegger	?	how	about	satan	?	in	my	opinion	,	he	has	never	quite	overcome	his	first	role	as	the	deadly	robot	in	cameron's	"	terminator	"	.	and	that	is	schwartzenegger's	strength	muscles	and	no	emotions	.	here	he	tries	to	achieve	an	artistic	level	,	moving	towards	the	oscar	.	this	is	called	"	an	adult	turn	"	if	successful	and	"	a	flop	"	if	unsuccessful	.	make	a	wild	guess	!	his	character	has	lost	his	wife	and	daughter	and	has	serious	drinking	problems	.	this	requires	at	least	some	acting	skills	.	regrettably	,	the	only	thing	convincing	about	old	arnold	is	his	muscles	.	the	rest	of	the	cast	are	struggling	with	their	so	called	characters	.	the	movie	is	otherwise	technically	impressive	,	with	a	solid	cinematography	and	fine	lighting	.	but	the	movie	doesn't	serve	neither	as	a	serious	thriller	(	because	of	its	stupidity	)	nor	as	comic	entertainment	(	because	of	its	serious	tone	)	.	the	only	real	comic	relief	in	this	film	is	when	swartzenegger	tries	to	cry	.	the	action	sequences	are	all	recycled	and	the	effects	are	everything	but	spectacular	.	so	i	really	have	a	hard	time	recommending	this	film	to	somebody	.	unless	you	are	a	die	hard	schwartzenegger	fan	,	stay	away	.	as	for	schwarzenegger	,	he'll	be	back	.	"	end	of	days	"	all	related	marks	media	are	tm	1999	universal	studios	.	this	site	is	in	no	way	affiliated	with	any	entity	involved	in	the	production	of	the	movie	.	all	opinions	contained	herein	are	those	of	the	author	alone	.	all	pictures	and	other	material	were	obtained	through	approved	channels	or	from	the	public	domain	and	are	not	intended	to	infringe	any	copyrights	.	visit	the	official	site	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	end	of	days	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	end	of	days	.	com	a
neg	robin	williams	is	a	comedic	genus	.	that	is	,	he	is	one	when	he's	in	a	film	that	allows	him	space	to	move	.	"	flubber	"	straps	him	in	a	straitjacket	,	covers	him	with	duct	tape	,	stuffs	him	in	a	coat	closet	and	piles	furniture	against	the	door	to	make	sure	that	he	doesn't	get	out	.	in	a	re	make	of	its	own	1961	"	absent	minded	professor	"	,	disney	offers	us	proof	that	more	is	definitely	less	.	recycling	old	films	(	"	that	darned	cat	"	,	"	101	dalmatians	"	)	dressed	up	as	new	is	the	newest	money	machine	from	the	home	of	the	mouse	that	roared	.	professor	phillip	brainard	(	williams	)	is	a	terminally	forgetful	scientist	teaching	at	a	small	college	.	his	fiancee	,	sara	jean	reynolds	(	marcia	gay	harden	)	,	president	of	the	college	is	none	too	happy	with	him	because	he's	left	her	waiting	at	the	altar	due	to	his	lack	of	short	term	and	long	term	memory	.	she's	giving	him	one	more	chance	.	he	blows	that	chance	when	he	invents	"	flubber	"	(	flying	rubber	)	and	is	so	excited	by	his	discovery	that	sara	jean	is	once	again	awaiting	him	in	her	white	dress	.	his	tardiness	is	helped	along	by	his	jealous	flying	robotic	assistant	who	wants	him	all	to	herself	.	it's	not	all	bad	news	.	flubber	is	a	green	jello	that	can	magnify	and	reflect	energy	that	is	applied	to	it	.	brainard	realizes	the	commercial	potential	within	the	goo	can	save	the	school	from	bankruptcy	and	being	taken	over	by	the	town's	evil	industrialist	charles	hoenicker	(	raymond	barry	)	.	while	he's	busy	with	his	new	breakthrough	,	the	slighted	sweetheart	is	being	wooed	by	his	sleazy	rival	wilson	croft	(	christopher	mcdonald	)	.	there's	a	flying	car	,	flubber	enhanced	basketball	game	and	an	assortment	of	broken	lab	equipment	:	none	of	which	are	the	least	bit	interesting	or	funny	.	at	one	point	,	my	son	looked	around	the	audience	and	asked	"	why	are	these	people	laughing	?	"	although	williams	turns	in	one	of	his	least	inspired	roles	,	he	is	easily	the	most	lively	of	the	actors	.	everyone	else	comes	across	as	half	asleep	.	the	re	make	is	successful	in	that	respect	.	it	feels	like	a	bad	disney	movie	from	the	sixties	.	i	remember	the	original	as	being	charming	,	but	my	guess	is	that	the	memory	from	almost	four	decades	ago	has	been	artificially	enhanced	by	the	years	.	there	have	been	some	updates	.	fred	macmurray's	flying	model	t	has	been	replaced	by	a	t	bird	.	his	faithful	dog	charlie	is	now	"	weebo	"	,	the	hovering	robot	.	the	biggest	change	is	that	,	with	sophisticated	computer	animation	,	we	now	can	have	films	show	off	special	effects	without	being	at	all	entertaining	.	flubber	is	anthropomorphized	into	a	being	supposedly	with	personality	.	the	gloop	has	little	arms	and	legs	and	splits	into	tiny	little	gloopettes	for	a	big	dance	number	.	this	has	nothing	to	do	with	the	story	.	the	only	possible	reason	is	to	create	merchandising	opportunities	so	that	kids	can	badger	their	parents	into	taking	them	to	mcdonalds	for	the	toys	.	not	that	contributing	little	to	the	plot	is	a	big	problem	.	there	are	very	few	aspects	of	the	film	that	move	the	story	and	those	that	do	don't	make	sense	.	the	discovery	of	flubber	is	going	to	save	the	college	because	brainard	can	sell	his	flying	car	to	ford	.	anyone	with	half	a	brain	would	be	able	to	see	that	his	intelligent	flying	automaton	is	worth	billions	.	it's	unbelievable	that	his	lover	(	well	,	probably	not	a	lover	after	all	this	is	disney	)	starts	dating	croft	after	the	aborted	wedding	.	there's	not	one	appealing	component	of	this	man	.	after	the	professor	discovers	that	smearing	a	golf	ball	with	the	gunk	causes	it	to	bounce	uncontrollably	around	his	lab	wreaking	havoc	,	i	cringed	as	he	picked	up	a	bowling	ball	.	this	guy	is	beyond	forgetful	,	venturing	into	the	certifiable	.	co	writer	john	hughes	used	to	direct	light	weight	but	thoughtful	teen	films	.	the	care	behind	"	pretty	in	pink	"	and	"	the	breakfast	club	"	all	went	out	the	window	after	his	"	home	alone	"	franchise	heated	up	the	box	offices	.	looking	much	like	"	home	alone	3	1	2	"	,	"	flubber	"	even	features	a	couple	of	vapid	goons	who	get	banged	around	and	a	cute	little	boy	who	screams	a	lot	.	in	some	ways	,	it's	difficult	to	judge	this	film	.	i	have	a	suspicion	that	i'm	not	it's	target	audience	.	after	all	,	i	measure	my	age	in	two	digits	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	22	years	and	can't	believe	that	there	are	only	some	unspecific	number	of	shopping	days	before	all	those	holidays	that	fall	on	december	25	.	email	gift	ideas	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	)	this	appeared	in	the	12	10	97	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	reached	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	the	first	scene	of	operation	condor	has	jackie	chan	preparing	for	a	secret	mission	.	he	attempts	to	pop	a	couple	of	pieces	of	chewing	gum	into	his	mouth	,	but	misses	.	after	they	ricochet	off	his	face	,	he	says	,	"	not	a	good	start	.	"	as	it	turns	out	,	this	line	not	only	gives	foreshadowing	to	the	opening	sequence	,	but	to	the	rest	of	the	movie	as	well	.	in	this	,	the	latest	of	the	jackie	chan	movies	to	be	released	in	america	after	first	runs	in	hong	kong	,	chan	plays	an	international	operative	codenamed	"	condor	"	,	and	is	tasked	by	the	united	nations	with	finding	a	stash	of	gold	hidden	at	a	secret	base	by	the	nazi's	during	their	retreat	across	the	saharan	desert	during	the	second	world	war	.	for	some	reason	,	condor	is	given	his	mission	at	the	u	.	s	.	embassy	in	spain	.	i	think	this	may	have	been	done	so	that	in	a	chase	scene	,	they	could	honor	the	time	old	tradition	of	knocking	over	a	fruit	cart	.	watch	for	it	in	any	chase	scene	set	in	a	foreign	country	,	most	notably	in	europe	.	the	chase	will	take	itself	through	a	marketplace	,	and	a	fruit	cart	will	be	overturned	.	it's	almost	a	guarantee	.	anyway	.	.	.	.	condor	is	given	a	key	which	is	supposed	to	unlock	a	giant	vault	in	which	the	gold	is	hidden	;	the	problem	is	that	the	key	has	insulators	integrated	into	it	,	which	may	mean	a	booby	trap	might	be	electronically	triggered	if	the	key	is	used	improperly	.	to	help	him	figure	out	where	the	gold	is	hidden	and	how	to	use	the	key	correctly	,	condor	is	accompanied	by	a	desert	expert	(	carol	cheng	)	and	the	granddaughter	of	the	captain	who	was	in	charge	of	hiding	the	gold	(	eva	cobo	)	.	there	aren't	supposed	to	be	any	relatives	of	the	nazi	captain	living	in	spain	,	but	condor	finds	the	granddaughter	by	looking	her	up	in	the	phone	book	or	something	.	although	these	two	women	are	supposed	to	be	integral	parts	of	the	mission	,	they	prove	no	help	at	all	except	to	get	in	trouble	and	provide	an	excuse	for	chan	to	jump	into	his	martial	arts	.	in	fact	,	most	of	the	scenes	are	so	ridiculously	contrived	that	it	seems	everything	is	just	a	way	to	set	up	a	fight	.	i	suppose	this	isn't	so	bad	,	since	chan's	action	is	really	the	best	part	of	the	movie	,	and	the	only	reason	you	go	to	see	one	of	his	films	anyway	.	if	you've	never	seen	a	jackie	chan	movie	,	don't	expect	a	great	plot	,	but	do	expect	to	be	entertained	by	his	moves	.	they	are	so	well	choreographed	and	often	so	amazing	that	you	wonder	if	this	guy	is	human	.	knowing	that	he	does	his	own	stunts	,	and	knowing	that	this	is	the	real	stuff	(	no	computer	masked	bungee	cords	here	)	makes	the	action	sequences	all	the	more	exciting	.	you've	got	to	hand	it	to	a	guy	who's	probably	broken	every	bone	in	his	body	for	the	sake	of	his	art	.	also	of	note	in	this	,	as	in	any	jackie	chan	movie	,	is	the	humor	.	as	far	as	i	know	,	none	of	his	films	take	themselves	too	seriously	,	and	even	the	dramatic	parts	have	a	certain	tongue	in	cheek	quality	about	them	.	what	is	almost	masterful	is	the	way	that	humor	is	even	integrated	into	the	fight	scenes	.	unlike	a	martial	arts	film	such	as	anything	with	jean	claude	van	damme	,	where	the	fights	get	you	on	the	visceral	level	,	fight	scenes	in	chan's	movies	are	simply	entertaining	.	you	marvel	at	both	his	moves	and	at	the	way	he	employs	them	in	such	a	way	to	make	you	laugh	.	unfortunately	,	even	chan's	mastery	can't	save	this	film	.	the	plot	and	characters	are	so	weak	that	they	don't	hold	the	movie	together	at	all	,	and	the	acting	is	terrible	.	carol	cheng	has	apparently	won	best	actress	honors	at	the	hong	kong	movie	awards	in	the	past	,	but	since	operation	condor	is	a	dubbed	movie	it	kind	of	takes	all	bets	off	.	this	,	combined	with	an	obviously	low	production	value	made	we	want	to	turn	away	from	the	screen	until	i	heard	those	kicks	start	flying	.
neg	imagine	putting	both	addams	family	movies	together	,	adding	a	heap	of	sexual	innuendo	,	and	placing	the	effects	of	men	in	black	on	top	of	it	.	now	imagine	taking	the	dry	wit	out	of	all	these	movies	,	adding	an	extreme	amount	of	violence	,	ethnical	slurs	,	and	push	up	bras	.	wild	wild	west	,	a	new	creation	of	barry	sonnenfeld	,	director	of	get	shorty	and	men	in	black	tries	to	make	it	work	.	.	.	it	doesn't	.	exactly	whose	fault	it	is	is	yet	to	be	determined	,	so	let	me	just	give	you	an	outline	.	james	west	(	smith	,	who	still	fits	the	superhero	role	nicely	,	but	he's	horribly	miscast	)	is	teamed	up	with	effects	specialist	artemus	gordon	(	kline	,	who	puts	on	that	fancy	pants	know	it	all	thing	that	worked	in	in	out	,	but	not	here	)	to	save	president	grant	from	an	80	foot	tarantula	created	by	arliss	loveless	(	kenneth	branagh	,	who	,	i'm	ashamed	to	say	,	should	stick	with	helena	bonham	carter	and	shakespeare	)	he's	using	to	take	over	the	entire	us	government	turning	the	northwest	into	loveliss	land	.	now	this	could	be	an	original	premise	,	but	the	film	is	so	darned	contrived	that	you	know	will	smith	will	win	in	the	end	.	whereas	,	arlington	road	(	a	better	action	paranoia	thriller	by	about	,	oh	,	or	stars	)	had	a	suprising	explosive	ending	that	you	couldn't	see	coming	until	the	very	end	,	this	one's	obvious	at	about	the	30	minute	point	.	i	believe	that	the	filmmakers	realized	this	,	so	they	decided	to	make	the	film	more	fun	by	adding	cool	gadgets	,	heaps	of	jokes	about	breasts	,	tons	of	violence	(	an	extreme	amount	for	a	pg	13	movie	)	and	racial	and	ethnic	slurs	that	sound	like	their	coming	from	episodes	of	jerry	springer	and	american	history	x	.	this	film	is	not	for	children	and	parents	should	be	very	cautious	about	taking	them	to	it	.	i	actually	believe	that	a	child	would	benefit	much	more	from	seeing	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	,	and	uncut	,	arlington	road	,	or	maybe	even	american	pie	.	thus	,	i	give	wild	wild	west	(	the	worst	movie	of	the	year	so	far	along	with	virus	)	1	2	stars	.
neg	the	happy	bastard's	quick	movie	reviewa	better	name	for	this	movie	might've	been	"	wild	wild	waste	"	.	warner	bros	.	,	in	an	attempt	to	get	their	own	men	in	black	style	of	movie	,	had	managed	to	lasso	in	some	big	names	(	actor	will	smith	and	director	barry	sonnenfeld	,	the	duo	behind	mib's	success	)	in	order	to	get	their	own	fourth	of	july	blockbuster	,	a	contemporary	big	screen	update	to	the	classic	western	sci	fi	series	the	wild	wild	west	starring	robert	conrad	.	but	somehow	,	they	ran	into	a	problem	along	the	way	.	they	were	so	busy	trying	to	fill	specific	roles	that	they	forgot	one	in	general	that	would've	made	all	the	difference	a	story	writer	.	wild	wild	west's	story	and	script	was	compiled	by	six	different	people	,	rather	than	just	the	one	who	put	the	brilliant	touches	on	men	in	black	,	ed	solomon	.	if	warner	bros	.	had	gotten	him	,	the	movie	would've	possibly	been	five	times	better	than	what	it	is	.	heck	,	ten	times	.	as	is	,	however	,	the	story	and	screenplay	is	a	mess	,	filled	with	dead	laughs	,	enough	racist	and	sex	jokes	to	make	even	will	cringe	as	he's	performing	them	,	and	a	complete	lack	of	chemistry	that	made	the	tv	show	work	so	well	.	here's	the	story	:	us	army	member	james	west	(	will	smith	)	teams	up	with	creative	genius	artemus	gordon	(	kevin	kline	)	to	take	on	a	ruthless	villain	by	the	name	of	arliss	loveless	(	kenneth	branagh	)	,	whose	lower	half	was	blown	off	during	the	civil	war	,	leaving	him	to	roll	around	in	a	steam	controlled	wheelchair	.	they	catch	onto	a	plot	of	his	involving	a	superweapon	that	can	basically	be	considered	an	80	foot	tarantula	(	although	it	looks	bigger	than	that	)	,	hellbent	on	destroying	anything	in	its	path	.	as	i	said	,	the	way	the	script	unfolds	is	a	complete	mess	.	but	the	acting	doesn't	help	either	.	kevin	kline	is	miserable	as	gordon	,	failing	to	display	even	a	smidgeon	of	care	as	he	did	in	the	1985	western	silverado	.	smith	seems	to	be	having	a	better	time	as	west	,	although	he's	not	nearly	as	charming	as	he	was	in	mib	.	branagh	goes	excessively	over	the	top	as	the	villain	,	perhaps	to	the	point	where	we	can't	even	stand	to	look	at	him	or	his	strange	beard	.	and	salma	hayek	is	along	for	the	ride	to	search	for	her	missing	father	,	but	mostly	she	exists	just	for	sexual	attention	.	her	acting	is	barely	passable	,	but	what	a	"	breath	of	fresh	ass	"	.	director	barry	sonnenfeld	isn't	of	great	help	either	.	even	though	he	shows	some	good	creativity	at	some	points	,	his	overall	urgency	for	directing	is	lost	.	it's	as	if	he	feels	he's	directing	a	tv	movie	,	a	big	no	no	when	you're	helming	what's	supposed	to	be	a	big	screen	hit	.	last	but	not	least	,	there	are	huge	gaps	of	logic	that	are	just	plain	unacceptable	.	at	one	point	,	smith	defies	gravity	when	first	boarding	kline's	train	.	he	jumps	on	the	back	,	gets	launched	straight	up	in	the	air	,	and	somehow	manages	to	land	three	cars	ahead	on	the	train	while	it's	still	in	motion	!	also	,	he	seems	to	be	strangely	comfortable	talking	about	racism	in	front	of	a	lynch	mob	,	particularly	considering	the	fact	that	his	family	was	killed	by	the	likes	of	such	folks	.	last	but	not	least	,	why	is	he	still	making	kissing	faces	when	he	knows	he's	not	kissing	a	woman	as	he's	looking	through	a	peephole	at	the	enemy	?	!	the	only	saving	grace	for	wild	wild	west	come	mostly	in	the	form	of	special	effects	.	the	huge	mechanical	spider	is	a	technical	marvel	,	very	authentic	looking	and	considerable	to	the	creativity	of	the	show	.	there's	also	a	good	sequence	involving	metal	magnet	neckbraces	and	spinning	saw	blades	,	but	,	again	,	a	logic	question	comes	into	play	regarding	their	polarity	.	i	would	say	sit	back	and	have	a	good	time	with	wild	wild	west	,	but	it	really	isn't	possible	.	if	the	racist	and	sex	jokes	don't	bother	you	,	the	performances	will	.	if	the	performances	don't	bother	you	,	the	story	will	.	if	the	story	doesn't	bother	you	,	the	racist	and	sex	jokes	will	.	there's	no	end	to	the	vicious	circle	.	go	rent	men	in	black	instead	and	pretend	smith	and	tommy	lee	jones	are	wearing	cowboy	hats	.	you'll	have	a	better	time	.	if	you	do	go	,	keep	an	eye	out	for	robert	conrad	in	a	role	as	president	grant	.	i	bet	he	wishes	he	were	somewhere	else	.	.	.
neg	i	really	wanted	to	like	dude	,	where's	my	car	?	after	a	week	of	deadlines	,	dead	time	,	and	dead	emotions	,	i	needed	a	goofy	movie	to	revive	me	.	so	,	imagine	my	horror	as	i	sat	alone	in	the	cavernous	theater	,	trying	to	muster	a	chuckle	or	a	titter	.	ornery	ostriches	didn't	do	the	trick	.	neither	did	a	transsexual	stripper	,	a	pot	smoking	dog	or	an	appearance	by	fabio	.	there	is	a	place	for	movies	like	dude	,	where's	my	car	?	national	lampoon's	animal	house	,	blazing	saddles	,	tommy	boy	,	etc	.	when	they	work	.	and	when	that	happens	,	i'm	on	a	cinematic	high	for	weeks	.	i	still	smile	whenever	i	hear	the	phrase	"	double	secret	probation	.	"	in	the	case	of	the	silly	comedies	that	fail	,	it's	like	watching	a	guy	slip	on	a	banana	peel	.	it	might	be	funny	the	first	time	,	but	how	about	the	fiftieth	time	?	unfortunately	,	dude	has	crates	full	of	bananas	,	and	it's	ultimately	doomed	just	like	its	two	main	characters	,	jesse	and	chester	(	ashton	kutcher	and	seann	william	scott	,	respectively	)	,	doper	roommates	with	a	major	problem	.	after	a	wild	night	of	partying	with	chester	,	jesse	can't	find	his	car	the	next	day	.	the	two	friends	don't	even	have	a	clue	as	to	what	happened	the	night	before	.	the	boys	soon	embark	on	a	madcap	adventure	to	find	jesse's	car	.	in	their	odyssey	,	they	gradually	learn	about	last	night's	events	,	which	included	strippers	,	buff	aliens	,	and	tattoos	.	jesse	and	chester	also	discover	that	they	are	now	responsible	for	the	fate	of	the	universe	.	bummer	.	i	know	a	movie	like	dude	is	geared	for	brainless	laughs	,	but	shouldn't	some	thought	have	been	invested	in	making	it	?	the	movie	survives	solely	on	the	aforementioned	wacky	antics	,	which	turns	dude	into	a	feat	of	endurance	that	would	fatigue	a	marathon	runner	.	there's	no	break	from	the	goofball	proceedings	.	screenwriter	philip	stark	and	director	danny	leiner	don't	give	us	a	single	character	with	any	wit	or	subtlety	.	watching	dude	is	like	viewing	a	parade	of	the	hackneyed	characters	of	movies	past	.	there	are	stoned	morons	,	sympathetic	girlfriends	,	bullying	jocks	,	super	intense	space	nerds	,	and	the	soulful	black	pizza	owner	(	from	the	last	dragon	,	of	course	)	.	as	for	jesse	and	chester	,	they	might	be	the	first	characters	in	movie	history	without	a	working	cerebrum	.	it	would	have	been	funnier	if	these	guys	were	smart	,	so	they	could	sarcastically	comment	on	their	absurd	situation	.	but	scott	and	kutcher	are	given	little	more	to	do	than	say	"	shibby	"	and	"	sweet	"	in	a	frat	boy	cadence	.	.	.	and	then	break	things	.	and	that's	a	shame	,	because	i	like	both	of	these	guys	.	kutcher	is	a	dopey	highlight	on	the	fox	sitcom	that	'70s	show	,	and	scott	with	his	prankster	grin	was	a	big	reason	why	american	pie	was	my	favorite	movie	last	year	.	in	dude	,	their	scenes	induce	empathetic	winces	,	instead	of	laughs	.	i	wish	i	could	say	something	glowing	about	this	mess	,	and	i	wish	i	had	an	idea	of	why	people	are	seeing	it	.	my	guess	is	it's	either	an	indication	that	2000	was	truly	a	terrible	year	for	movies	,	or	it	could	be	a	genuine	sign	of	the	apocalypse	.
neg	bamboozled	(	2000	)	rated	r	;	running	time	136	minutes	genre	:	drama	(	forget	what	the	genre	labellers	are	sayin'	;	this	ain't	no	comedy	.	)	imdb	site	:	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	details	?	0215545	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	details	?	0215545	a	official	site	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bamboozledmovie	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bamboozledmovie	.	com	a	written	by	:	spike	lee	directed	by	:	spike	lee	cast	:	damon	wayans	,	savion	glover	,	tommy	davidson	,	jada	pinkett	smith	,	michael	rapaport	,	mos	def	review	copyright	rose	cooper	,	2000	review	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	3blackchicks	.	com	bamsbamboozled	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	3blackchicks	.	com	bamsbamboozled	.	html	a	you	are	about	to	read	the	most	schizophrenically	lengthy	review	i	have	ever	written	which	,	ironically	,	marries	it	perfectly	to	the	movie	being	reviewed	:	spike	lee's	controversial	bamboozled	.	here	we	go	.	.	.	the	story	(	warning	:	spoilers	contained	below	)	:	black	tv	writer	pierre	delacroix	(	damon	wayans	)	is	charged	by	the	white	producer	of	the	continental	network	systems	station	mr	.	dunwitty	(	michael	rapaport	)	to	come	up	with	an	all	black	comedy	show	that	will	boost	cns's	ratings	.	but	when	the	"	streetwise	"	dunwitty	rejects	the	harvard	educated	delacroix's	plans	to	create	"	the	next	cosby	show	"	,	dela	,	along	with	his	assistant	,	sloane	hopkins	(	jada	pinkett	smith	)	decides	to	create	a	show	so	offensive	that	dela	would	be	fired	and	thus	allowed	to	get	out	of	his	contract	.	.	.	since	,	after	all	,	he	has	"	a	mortgage	to	pay	"	.	don't	ask	how	being	fired	will	help	pay	that	mortgage	,	though	.	too	much	logic	,	and	all	.	inspired	by	homeless	black	street	tap	dancer	manray	(	savion	glover	)	and	his	partner	womack	(	tommy	davidson	)	,	dela	and	sloane	come	up	with	the	most	heinous	show	imaginable	:	"	mantan	the	new	millennium	minstrel	show	"	,	in	which	manray	would	play	mantan	and	womack	would	play	"	sleep	'n	eat	"	;	they	both	would	be	made	up	in	blackface	(	"	black	actors	in	blacker	blackface	"	)	,	and	called	"	two	reeee	aaaal	coons	"	.	manray	and	womack	,	being	in	a	state	of	poverty	,	agree	to	this	(	womack	more	reluctantly	so	than	manray	,	who'll	do	anything	"	longas	the	hoofin's	real	"	)	,	but	dela	is	ultimately	undone	when	to	his	surprise	not	only	does	the	"	nigga	"	spouting	dunwitty	love	the	concept	,	the	american	tv	audience	eats	it	up	.	sloane	and	dela	have	a	hard	time	living	with	this	but	not	as	hard	a	time	as	sloane's	brother	julius	,	aka	big	black	africa	(	mos	def	)	,	a	member	of	the	maumau	rap	group	who	takes	issue	with	the	"	comically	"	blackened	minstrels	,	at	the	same	time	as	he	and	his	fellow	malt	liquor	guzzling	self	righteous	maumaus	use	the	word	"	nigga	"	as	much	if	not	more	than	the	minstrels	themselves	.	the	upshot	:	and	the	schizophrenic	part	?	bamboozled	worked	for	me	on	so	many	levels	at	first	,	that	i	was	so	utterly	disappointed	when	it	just	kept	going	on	and	on	,	repeating	itself	without	saying	anything	new	,	eventually	running	out	of	juice	well	before	it	was	over	.	had	i	stopped	watching	it	at	a	certain	point	,	i	might've	declared	it	a	masterpiece	.	as	it	is	,	i	can	neither	fully	praise	,	nor	fully	denigrate	,	this	movie	.	and	the	funny	thing	is	,	some	black	folks	will	try	to	take	me	to	task	for	that	very	thing	"	'bamboozled'	was	dope	!	,	you	oreo	traitor	!	"	.	.	.	"	'bamboozled'	was	wack	!	,	you	bougie	traitor	!	"	.	can't	win	for	losing	.	as	a	visionary	tale	,	bamboozled	knows	few	equals	.	spike	lee	nailed	many	of	the	dysfunctional	issues	black	folks	in	america	have	as	a	people	(	and	,	of	course	,	as	the	many	sub	cultures	within	the	larger	,	mostly	undefined	black	culture	)	,	and	well	as	the	issue	itself	:	what	exactly	does	it	mean	to	be	black	in	america	?	is	dela	less	black	than	julius	because	julius	is	"	keepin'	it	real	"	?	is	dunwitty	clearly	a	caucasian	more	black	than	dela	because	dunwitty	considers	himself	"	street	"	?	is	the	white	maumau	blacker	than	all	of	them	?	and	when	it	gets	right	down	to	it	,	is	there	even	such	a	thing	as	one	single	"	black	culture	"	?	though	lee's	targets	were	many	,	and	wide	(	and	,	depending	on	who	you	ask	for	instance	,	hollywood's	finest	black	comedy	stars	,	many	of	whom	loudly	questioned	lee's	"	right	"	to	do	this	movie	just	plain	off	base	)	,	i	found	his	aim	fairly	accurate	,	for	the	most	part	.	all	the	"	nigga	"	slinging	,	all	the	malt	liquor	drinking	,	all	the	empty	mau	mauing	even	the	mental	separation	of	us	into	"	blacks	"	and	"	negroes	"	(	or	,	telling	it	like	it	'tis	,	"	niggers	"	)	that	too	many	of	us	(	me	included	)	do	.	.	.	when	spike	aimed	,	and	hit	,	it	spoke	to	many	of	the	things	i've	long	felt	were	cultural	ills	with	us	here	in	this	so	called	melting	pot	.	the	most	heinous	ill	being	that	we	so	gladly	supply	the	cork	,	and	willingly	apply	the	ugly	blackface	,	to	ourselves	.	but	and	this	isn't	a	small	thing	being	a	visionary	is	only	half	the	battle	;	to	have	a	successful	movie	,	one	must	also	have	successful	acting	and	directing	,	a	tight	storyline	,	and	cohesive	editing	.	and	that	is	where	bamboozled	ultimately	failed	.	granted	,	a	spike	lee	joint	doesn't	always	follow	the	typical	moviemaking	blueprint	of	your	standard	motion	picture	.	to	that	end	,	the	weird	jumpcuts	,	the	unnatural	feeling	scenes	,	and	the	strange	editing	,	were	lee	trademarks	.	but	this	film	couldn't	afford	lee's	quirks	and	his	inability	to	cut	out	the	repetition	on	the	one	hand	and	"	grow	"	the	story	on	the	other	and	an	in	your	face	storyline	,	all	at	the	same	time	.	that	,	on	top	of	the	unbelievability	of	both	mantan's	and	sleep	'n	eat's	instant	revelations	with	no	good	cause	(	except	,	of	course	,	the	"	wake	up	!	"	caused	by	looking	at	your	cork	blackfaced	image	in	the	mirror	,	which	should	make	anybody	say	"	hmmm	.	.	.	maybe	this	isn't	a	good	idea	after	all	"	)	,	and	damon	wayans'	bizarre	choice	of	a	one	dimensional	portrayal	of	delacroix	,	almost	killed	the	joy	of	the	bamboozled	philosophy	for	me	.	great	acting	by	jada	pinkett	smith	,	michael	rappaport	,	and	an	interesting	turn	by	rapper	mos	def	as	big	black	africa	,	could	not	overcome	lee's	lack	of	tight	focus	,	the	far	too	easy	"	instant	"	acceptance	of	the	minstrel	show	by	the	audience	,	the	completely	incredulous	"	payoff	"	involving	the	maumaus	and	mantan	(	my	eyes	truly	rolled	)	,	or	wayans'	just	plain	bad	acting	and	worse	,	the	bad	decision	to	let	him	do	the	narrative	voiceover	.	the	"	jolly	nigger	"	type	collectibles	,	and	the	black	actors	of	the	past	who	did	what	they	had	to	do	and	having	done	so	,	allowed	a	spike	lee	,	a	damon	wayans	,	et	al	,	to	be	where	they	are	today	should	have	supplied	the	final	narrative	.	too	bad	they	weren't	really	allowed	to	speak	.	the	"	black	factor	"	obdisclaimer	:	we	are	not	a	monolith	:	"	we	are	not	a	monolith	"	.	it	is	my	daily	mantra	.	and	it	applies	oh	so	well	to	bamboozled	.	but	what	,	exactly	,	does	it	mean	?	it	means	that	somewhere	out	there	,	there's	a	harvard	educated	,	stick	up	the	butt	,	"	negro	"	labelling	,	confused	dela	;	and	a	status	seeking	,	hard	working	,	bougie	,	confused	sloane	;	and	a	tap	dancing	,	fast	talking	,	struggling	to	get	by	manray	and	womack	;	and	a	malt	liquor	drinking	,	gun	slinging	,	pseudo	revolutionary	julius	.	and	like	it	or	not	,	they're	all	black	.	which	,	of	course	,	lays	waste	to	the	one	huge	stereotype	we	seem	to	be	portrayed	as	on	the	idiot	box	that	pierre	set	out	to	feed	.	if	this	,	more	so	than	the	viewer's	experience	of	the	acting	itself	,	was	the	ultimate	point	of	bamboozled	,	then	bad	acting	directing	editing	or	not	,	bamboozled	is	indeed	a	masterpiece	.	one	that	,	when	all	is	said	and	done	,	should	be	seen	,	no	matter	your	color	.	bammer's	bottom	line	:	bamboozled	,	conceptually	,	is	something	that	spike	lee	should	be	applauded	for	.	would	that	the	finished	product	were	as	great	as	the	concept	behind	it	.	it	pains	me	to	say	that	;	after	all	,	i	drove	88	miles	to	the	hood	just	to	see	a	movie	that	a	lot	of	theater	owners	in	predominantly	white	neighborhoods	were	apparently	too	chicken	to	show	.	i	desperately	wanted	to	love	this	movie	for	both	its	message	and	the	talent	behind	it	.	the	message	came	through	loud	and	clear	;	but	judging	bamboozled	on	its	creative	merits	alone	,	we	have	been	hoodwinked	.	bamboozled	(	mixed	rating	)	:	a	greenlight	rating	for	what	visionary	spike	lee	tried	to	say	;	but	.	.	.	.	.	.	a	cautionary	yellowlight	for	the	way	director	spike	lee	said	it	.	spike	,	i	gotta	go	with	what	dela's	mama	said	about	him	:	you	disappoint	me	.
neg	director	:	john	flynn	writer	:	david	lee	henry	starring	:	steven	seagal	,	william	forsythe	,	jo	champa	,	jerry	orbach	,	gina	gershon	,	julliana	marguilles	,	shannon	whirry	,	john	leguiziamo	,	athena	massey	it	was	with	a	huge	lack	of	something	to	do	that	i	decided	to	watch	this	on	good	old	upn	on	sunday	afternoon	,	when	the	only	good	things	on	tv	are	the	second	rate	movies	they	show	(	some	are	good	:	they	showed	"	total	recall	"	before	this	one	)	.	if	you	know	me	,	i	think	seagal	is	probably	the	most	boring	action	star	to	ever	live	.	and	this	includes	keanu	reeves	.	what	do	i	hate	about	seagal	?	i	hate	how	he	uses	one	facial	expression	for	every	single	threatening	and	non	threatening	situation	(	the	squint	)	.	i	hate	those	scenes	in	every	movie	where	he	goes	around	,	bullying	people	up	,	saying	stupid	lines	with	a	brooklyn	accent	more	fake	than	burt	reynold's	hairpiece	in	"	boogie	nights	.	"	i	despise	how	he	never	gets	a	bruise	in	any	of	his	fights	.	i	hate	how	every	single	plot	twist	leads	to	just	a	melodramatic	fight	between	he	and	the	chief	villain	.	i	hate	his	non	satirical	messages	(	in	the	beginning	of	this	one	,	he	slaps	on	a	quote	from	arthur	miller	,	which	has	nothing	to	do	with	the	film	,	except	it's	about	brooklyn	where	this	film	takes	place	)	.	and	i	hate	how	he's	so	narcissistic	that	he	thinks	that	he	can	actually	fucking	sing	(	during	the	end	credits	,	he	has	a	good	old	hill	billy	rock	tune	sung	and	penned	by	him	)	.	sure	,	the	guy's	probably	a	nice	guy	in	person	(	i	actually	found	him	very	non	threatening	when	he	was	on	letterman	not	too	long	ago	)	.	but	the	guy	makes	worse	films	than	reagan	did	.	so	what's	the	plot	of	this	shit	terpiece	?	well	.	.	.	something	about	him	trying	to	catch	a	stupid	ass	crook	(	william	forsythe	)	who	shot	and	killed	his	partner	in	broad	daylight	.	i	couldn't	believe	how	bad	this	scene	was	the	guy	was	conveniently	with	his	family	so	we	get	the	maximum	emotional	effect	(	ahem	!	)	.	and	forsythe	even	said	some	stupid	lines	to	him	before	he	took	off	.	i'm	sorry	,	did	anyone	ever	hear	of	concealing	one's	self	?	so	in	comes	ex	brooklynite	seagal	,	who	dedicates	his	life	to	catching	this	guy	.	and	i	just	wished	he	had	caught	him	in	the	beginning	,	then	ended	the	film	.	but	noooo	,	this	drags	on	,	as	he	bullies	forsythe's	family	members	(	including	a	stupid	bar	owner	,	and	none	other	than	gina	gershon	as	his	other	bar	owner	sister	)	.	and	forsythe	more	than	once	threatens	his	family	.	at	one	point	,	he	actually	comes	to	their	house	and	stalks	them	like	a	non	threatening	nicholson	in	"	the	shining	"	(	complete	with	them	all	hiding	in	the	bathroom	,	but	with	an	added	bonus	of	one	girl	conveniently	loosing	her	cool	and	screaming	to	give	them	away	)	.	seagal	paints	himself	as	a	lovable	person	,	with	a	son	,	and	a	fiancee	.	he	even	shows	him	hanging	with	his	son	,	checking	up	on	his	homework	,	and	then	about	to	take	him	out	for	a	bit	of	"	catch	,	"	when	he's	conveniently	called	away	on	assignment	.	i	dunno	about	you	,	but	playing	"	catch	"	with	seagal	was	one	of	my	childhood	nightmares	.	he	also	shows	him	as	that	bad	ass	he	wants	to	be	,	with	scenes	of	him	bullying	crooks	around	,	and	taking	out	people	who	are	stupid	enough	to	attack	him	even	after	he's	unarmed	a	chinese	guy	swinging	bats	with	a	pool	cue	.	serves	them	right	.	this	film	,	as	some	of	his	do	,	has	an	interesting	supporting	cast	of	actors	who	are	actually	talented	,	but	don't	appear	to	be	in	this	film	.	i	already	mentioned	gina	gershon	(	who's	pretty	horrible	in	this	one	)	,	as	well	as	william	forsythe	,	who	over	acts	terribly	.	i	know	this	guy	can	act	:	he	was	awesome	in	"	raising	arizona	"	as	goodman's	partner	in	crime	.	but	he's	just	awful	here	.	jerry	orbach	gives	the	only	credible	performance	in	the	film	as	the	police	chief	who	checks	up	on	segal	after	things	have	gone	down	.	why	is	he	the	only	one	who	gives	a	good	performance	?	well	,	because	his	role	is	small	enough	and	sporadic	enough	to	not	tarnish	his	credibility	.	he	seems	to	be	in	here	just	to	give	it	a	cool	"	law	and	order	"	feeling	(	even	if	it's	not	a	"	cool	"	feeling	)	.	and	in	cameos	are	b	rated	erotic	thriller	cinemax	style	stars	,	shannon	whirry	(	as	"	terry	malloy	,	"	which	is	more	of	a	bad	joke	than	a	clever	one	)	and	athena	massey	.	oh	!	and	"	er	"	's	julliana	margiulles	has	two	scenes	.	"	out	for	justice	"	just	proves	once	again	that	american	action	films	just	suck	.	i	know	that	there's	such	a	good	thing	as	good	action	he's	called	john	woo	.	but	if	you're	in	the	mood	for	some	good	old	no	brainer	,	fun	yet	dumb	action	,	don't	bother	watching	this	.	it's	so	stupid	that	it's	boring	.
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	mulholland	drive	"	(	universal	focus	)	whatever	david	lynch	is	selling	,	i'm	not	buying	.	from	the	writer	director	of	"	blue	velvet	"	and	"	twin	peaks	"	comes	another	dark	,	mysterious	thriller	that	opens	with	an	automobile	accident	on	mulholland	drive	,	the	serpentine	street	that	twists	high	in	the	hollywood	hills	.	dazed	,	a	beautiful	brunette	(	laura	elena	harring	)	emerges	and	stumbles	down	a	hill	,	slipping	unobserved	into	a	'30s	style	apartment	as	the	tenant	leaves	for	a	trip	.	the	next	morning	,	a	dewy	blonde	(	naomi	watts	)	from	deep	river	,	ontario	,	arrives	in	la	with	dreams	of	stardom	in	her	suitcase	.	her	aunt	owns	the	apartment	and	the	two	women	meet	.	the	brunette	has	amnesia	so	the	blonde	tries	to	help	her	discover	her	identity	along	with	her	latent	lesbian	lust	.	meanwhile	,	a	hotshot	director	(	justin	theroux	)	,	whose	wife	is	in	bed	with	the	poolman	,	is	forced	to	cast	a	certain	actress	in	his	new	film	and	there's	an	assassin	(	mark	pellegrino	)	roaming	the	city	.	the	tortuous	paths	of	these	various	characters	and	others	named	cookie	,	coco	and	cowboy	intersect	at	various	points	but	the	plot	remains	elusive	because	,	midway	through	the	story	,	lynch	has	the	brunette	and	blonde	play	two	different	women	in	an	alternate	reality	,	leaving	a	huge	wad	of	cash	,	a	blue	metallic	key	,	a	paralyzed	mogul	and	a	lot	of	questions	that	go	unanswered	.	elena	harring	and	particularly	naomi	watts	are	gifted	actresses	,	effectively	making	the	subtle	switch	.	the	same	cannot	be	said	for	former	m	.	g	.	m	.	dancer	ann	miller	who's	stiff	and	self	conscious	,	speaking	like	most	lynch	players	in	staccato	tones	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	mulholland	drive	"	is	a	frenzied	,	frustrating	4	.	originally	designed	as	an	episodic	tv	pilot	,	this	surreal	triumph	of	suspenseful	style	over	substance	is	packaged	as	a	puzzle	with	several	of	the	key	pieces	left	out	.
neg	yeah	,	yeah	,	the	advertisements	didn't	even	try	to	conceal	the	fact	that	this	movie	had	only	one	hook	sex	.	neve	campbell	and	starship	trooper's	denise	richards	getting	it	on	?	ok	!	yeah	,	it's	a	decent	two	minutes	of	film	erotica	,	but	even	if	that's	your	main	interest	in	this	film	,	there's	plenty	of	cheeziness	to	sit	thru	in	exchange	for	those	two	minutes	.	wild	things	does	have	a	lot	more	to	think	about	than	you	might	expect	however	.	nearly	every	single	scene	is	a	huge	plot	twist	guaranteed	to	leave	you	guessing	,	or	at	least	curious	to	see	the	next	turn	,	throughout	the	entire	movie	.	but	this	fast	paced	,	razor	sharp	turning	of	events	doesn't	leave	much	time	to	enjoy	the	surprises	.	we	start	off	in	a	high	class	california	high	school	where	every	student	resembles	a	supermodel	in	the	making	.	guidance	counselor	sam	lombardo	(	matt	dillon	)	seems	to	catch	the	eye	of	every	student	,	particularly	kelly	van	ryan	(	richards	)	,	daughter	of	the	locally	prestigious	family	whose	social	status	is	about	as	high	as	their	bank	accounts	.	right	off	the	bat	,	kelly	is	using	every	asset	she	has	in	an	effort	to	seduce	"	mr	.	lombardo	"	.	the	fund	raiser	car	wash	seems	the	opportune	time	,	particularly	when	you	wash	your	guidance	counselor's	jeep	in	all	white	clothes	and	take	plenty	of	precautions	to	insure	you'll	be	soaked	from	head	to	toe	when	you're	done	.	on	the	weekend	of	the	car	wash	,	kelly's	attempts	at	seduction	fall	flat	,	and	when	they	do	,	she	concocts	the	tale	that	sam	in	fact	raped	her	that	day	.	naturally	sam	is	thrown	into	a	state	of	panicked	shock	at	these	accusations	.	but	the	otherwise	unsubstantial	fabrications	soon	lead	to	a	criminal	trial	when	a	low	class	,	marijuana	smoking	student	by	the	name	of	suzie	toller	(	campbell	)	comes	forth	with	a	near	identical	story	,	also	involving	her	trusted	guidance	counselor	.	pitting	himself	against	the	communities	most	respected	names	and	authoritarians	,	sam	must	prove	his	innocence	thru	the	aid	of	his	makeshift	defense	attorney	,	ken	bowden	,	played	by	bill	murray	.	yes	,	that	bill	murray	!	sound	like	a	good	,	complete	movie	?	yes	,	that	alone	could	have	been	,	but	this	is	just	the	beginning	.	in	fact	,	the	trial	is	over	about	fifteen	or	twenty	minutes	into	the	film	.	it	is	merely	used	to	launch	the	most	twisted	story	of	recent	time	.	by	the	time	the	movie	finishes	,	you	will	have	gone	thru	every	plot	twist	imaginable	.	unfortunately	,	with	so	much	going	on	,	you're	not	given	enough	time	in	one	predicament	to	be	as	effectively	shocked	when	a	new	twist	comes	about	.	this	is	just	one	way	director	john	mcnaughton	fails	to	make	this	movie	as	fun	as	it	could've	been	.	the	113	minutes	fly	by	,	and	although	it	never	feels	underdeveloped	,	this	pretzel	of	storytelling	could've	been	much	more	richly	realized	had	a	slower	pace	been	taken	.	the	acting	is	incredibly	reminiscent	of	fox	prime	time	soap	operas	,	which	no	,	is	not	a	good	thing	.	and	it's	not	just	campbell	,	who	happens	to	hail	from	the	prime	time	fox	soap	"	party	of	five	"	,	but	everyone	suffers	from	heavily	melodramatic	overtones	.	dillon	,	who	was	so	charming	in	his	understated	role	in	last	year's	in	out	,	gives	the	best	performance	,	and	murray's	surprising	appearance	adds	some	comedic	flare	to	the	film	.	in	fact	,	if	the	whole	movie	had	been	promoted	as	a	subtle	comedy	,	even	if	it	was	the	exact	same	film	,	i	would	actually	give	it	a	better	grade	.	that's	how	cheezy	it	comes	off	.	but	aside	from	these	two	,	the	rest	offer	nothing	more	than	some	good	eye	full's	.	in	the	right	hands	,	wild	things	could've	been	a	wickedly	delightful	,	scrumptiously	twisted	thriller	,	but	instead	we	get	juvenile	overuses	of	profanity	and	some	very	laughable	displays	of	acting	.	and	what's	up	with	these	people	passing	as	high	school	students	?	i	realize	hollywood	often	casts	older	actors	to	play	teenage	roles	,	but	when	i	realized	it	wasn't	supposed	to	be	a	college	they	were	at	,	i	had	to	snicker	.	i	won't	lie	this	is	definitely	a	guilty	pleasure	.	as	corny	as	it	is	,	it's	got	some	interesting	aspects	and	could	deserve	at	least	a	"	b	"	for	effort	.	but	if	you	just	want	to	admire	denise	richards	,	go	for	last	year's	starship	troopers	,	which	was	every	bit	as	campy	,	but	a	million	times	better	.	of	course	,	if	seeing	her	breasts	is	your	most	important	goal	,	you'll	be	right	at	home	with	wild	things	.	perhaps	the	wildest	thing	of	all	is	that	somebody	actually	looked	at	this	and	thought	it	deserved	to	be	in	theaters	.
neg	based	on	the	best	selling	novel	,	left	behind	is	the	latest	in	an	assembly	line	of	evangelical	thrillers	from	cloud	ten	pictures	.	considering	the	success	of	the	omega	code	,	there's	a	surprisingly	large	audience	of	zealots	who	dream	of	screening	films	with	"	spiritual	value	"	nationwide	.	and	apparently	,	all	that	hard	work	is	paying	off	.	let	readers	be	warned	in	advance	,	if	you're	part	of	the	camp	which	tries	to	catch	the	"	so	bad	it's	good	"	movies	filmcritic	.	com	cheerfully	slams	on	a	weekly	basis	(	and	i	mean	you	,	battlefield	earth	)	,	do	yourself	a	favor	and	avoid	left	behind	.	even	if	your	interest	is	akin	to	mine	,	approaching	the	entire	affair	as	a	postmodern	joke	,	your	contribution	is	paving	the	way	for	more	of	this	generic	,	bible	thumping	crap	.	with	this	kind	of	marketing	campaign	,	every	dollar	counts	.	having	said	that	,	i	really	wanted	to	enjoy	left	behind	.	the	premise	has	all	the	makings	of	a	crackerjack	apocalyptic	epic	in	the	vein	of	stephen	king's	the	stand	crossed	with	the	omen	.	if	handled	right	,	this	could	have	been	the	mainstream	alternative	to	michael	tolkin's	chilling	end	of	the	world	melodrama	,	the	rapture	.	on	an	international	flight	,	half	of	the	passengers	vanish	mid	air	.	this	is	not	an	isolated	incident	.	around	the	world	,	christians	have	mysteriously	disappeared	without	a	trace	.	it	seems	the	book	of	revelations	has	cracked	wide	open	,	and	the	newly	departed	are	spared	seven	years	of	tribulation	during	the	antichrist's	rise	to	global	power	.	those	who	have	been	left	behind	must	struggle	in	the	ultimate	battle	between	good	and	evil	,	which	will	no	doubt	be	further	documented	in	the	inevitable	string	of	sequels	.	don't	tell	me	that	doesn't	sound	exciting	,	even	to	heathens	such	as	myself	.	my	interest	abruptly	waned	the	moment	a	freshly	scrubbed	kirk	cameron	appears	on	the	scene	as	opportunistic	news	correspondent	buck	williams	.	we're	asked	to	buy	kirk	cameron	as	a	hardcore	journalist	covering	an	international	crisis	in	the	middle	east	?	named	buck	williams	?	when	buck	places	his	camera	in	the	middle	"	of	the	shit	"	as	bombs	burst	in	midair	,	it's	difficult	to	shake	the	thought	that	this	pathetic	former	star	hasn't	aged	a	day	since	growing	pains	.	his	behavior	,	his	goofy	smile	,	his	curly	locks	of	hair	are	all	exactly	the	same	.	i	guess	some	things	never	change	,	even	after	you're	born	again	.	buck	pursues	a	conspiracy	that	goes	all	the	way	to	the	united	nations	.	will	he	be	able	to	warn	idealistic	scientist	chaim	rosenzweig	(	colin	fox	)	that	his	"	eden	formula	"	which	could	end	world	hunger	may	land	in	the	wrong	hands	?	sure	enough	,	there's	a	missing	disk	,	a	car	explosion	,	an	attempted	assassination	,	and	shifty	men	in	black	who	plot	armageddon	.	these	familiar	genre	requirements	are	as	lifeless	as	they	are	predictable	,	shot	with	all	the	bland	mushiness	of	late	night	cable	television	.	indeed	,	left	behind	could	easily	be	confused	with	less	ambitious	fare	were	it	not	for	the	preachy	subplot	involving	the	tormented	pilot	(	brad	johnson	)	of	that	ill	fated	international	flight	mentioned	earlier	.	when	his	wife	and	son	disappear	in	the	rapture	,	he	falls	to	his	knees	begging	forgiveness	.	if	only	he	had	listened	when	jesus	was	knocking	on	the	door	to	his	heart	.	it's	not	long	before	buck	joins	him	as	a	soldier	in	god's	army	.	after	the	end	credits	scroll	on	left	behind's	home	video	release	,	kirk	cameron	provides	a	public	service	announcement	encouraging	viewers	to	tell	everyone	they	know	to	see	this	movie	.	my	only	request	for	the	christians	who	happen	upon	this	article	:	don't	settle	for	less	.	go	to	the	left	behind	website	and	demand	quality	scripts	which	address	your	theological	concerns	.	of	course	,	the	built	in	audience	will	see	these	movies	whether	or	not	they	receive	a	critical	bitch	slap	.	after	an	initial	release	on	video	to	spread	word	of	mouth	,	left	behind	has	found	its	way	into	the	20	top	grossing	theatrical	releases	during	the	week	it	opened	nationwide	.	let's	hear	it	for	the	almighty	buck	.
neg	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	watching	'bulworth'	feels	like	having	somebody	punch	you	in	the	face	and	as	you	turn	around	to	recover	and	regain	your	balance	,	there's	somebody	waiting	that	throws	a	bucket	of	cold	water	where	you've	just	been	punched	.	in	other	words	,	the	film	is	a	double	whammy	of	intended	satire	but	comes	off	more	as	a	series	of	condescending	failed	scenes	which	do	nothing	to	advance	the	nature	of	the	movie's	characters	and	caricatures	.	caricatures	are	usually	the	least	interesting	thing	about	a	film	that	centres	on	people	because	they	never	get	developed	beyond	the	realm	of	their	first	scene	(	s	)	,	hence	,	their	given	name	.	'bulworth'	has	more	than	its	share	of	unnecessary	players	and	the	centre	piece	of	the	movie's	main	personality	is	a	man	with	a	pretty	unattractive	personality	named	jay	billington	bulworth	(	warren	beatty	)	.	i	understood	completely	where	beatty	was	trying	to	go	with	this	film	but	rather	than	churn	out	a	political	satire	,	beatty	has	instead	made	a	film	where	bulworth	rambles	about	our	unbalanced	society	without	telling	us	anything	about	how	he	intends	to	improve	it	.	that	is	often	the	true	nature	of	politicians	and	if	the	movie	wants	to	do	that	,	what	exactly	is	its	point	beyond	anything	we've	seen	before	?	it	doesn't	take	a	genius	to	do	a	simple	turning	of	the	tables	and	make	a	fibbing	politician	,	who	doesn't	believe	in	the	things	he's	saying	and	turn	him	into	a	suicidal	and	supposedly	conscience	stricken	self	redeemer	who	becomes	suicidal	and	says	what's	really	on	his	mind	.	the	film	opens	with	a	rehearsed	speech	billington	intends	to	give	where	the	opening	line	is	heard	over	and	over	and	over	again	and	is	the	usual	blah	blah	blah	he	will	use	in	an	upcoming	campaign	.	we	soon	begin	to	see	bulworth's	mental	breakdown	as	he	displays	his	suicidal	tendencies	and	takes	out	a	large	insurance	policy	on	himself	before	hiring	a	contract	killer	to	knock	himself	off	?	!	i	didn't	believe	it	for	a	second	.	the	idea	is	too	simple	to	be	believable	and	even	if	you	accept	the	premise	,	the	movie's	core	issue	hasn't	even	surfaced	yet	.	as	bulworth	is	speaking	to	a	large	audience	of	african	americans	in	south	central	l	.	a	.	,	he	makes	some	rather	blunt	comments	that	he	believes	are	true	,	putting	aside	the	political	line	for	an	unexpected	dose	of	what	many	will	accept	as	reality	.	next	his	comments	turn	to	the	jewish	community	and	these	two	outbursts	cause	a	media	carnage	where	bulworth	is	asked	to	explain	exactly	what	he	meant	by	these	two	incidents	.	somewhere	in	the	middle	of	all	this	,	he	begins	saying	what	he	really	feels	is	the	trouble	with	american	society	.	his	remarks	make	the	u	.	s	.	a	.	sound	instead	like	the	corporate	states	of	america	,	perhaps	a	good	theory	and	while	reasonably	admirable	and	truthful	,	his	execution	of	these	ideas	are	awkward	and	sound	more	like	the	ramblings	of	a	paranoid	fanatic	.	during	his	outburst	in	south	central	l	.	a	.	,	he	meets	nina	(	halle	berry	)	,	a	young	woman	from	the	community	whom	he	fancies	and	he	tries	to	understand	her	world	and	express	himself	through	it	by	a	transformation	of	image	.	it's	a	world	bulworth	doesn't	understand	because	the	words	he	hears	and	the	problems	he	sees	,	he	repeats	them	when	interviewed	on	television	and	the	execution	this	time	isn't	only	awkward	,	its	phony	and	self	indulgent	on	beatty's	part	.	what's	even	more	astonishing	about	this	film	is	the	way	that	beatty	presents	not	only	the	other	characters	in	the	film	,	but	his	own	.	the	other	characters	played	by	such	wonderful	actors	as	jack	warden	,	paul	sorvino	,	oliver	platt	,	don	cheadle	and	christine	baranski	are	never	given	any	real	focus	or	development	and	when	the	fate	of	beatty's	character	is	decided	,	you	will	not	care	.	beatty	is	more	concerned	with	presenting	his	story	too	quickly	and	as	you	figure	out	that	his	film	lacks	depth	and	insight	,	you'll	be	amazed	at	what	little	foundation	is	built	around	the	the	rest	of	the	story	.	beatty	directs	and	is	the	co	author	of	'bulworth'	and	for	a	man	who	has	been	a	part	of	classics	like	'bonnie	and	clyde'	,	'shampoo'	,	'	heaven	can	wait'	and	his	most	ambitious	film	for	which	he	won	a	best	director	oscar	,	1981's	'reds'	,	beatty	has	made	an	abysmal	failure	of	a	film	the	has	absolutely	no	after	thought	and	is	as	stimulating	as	frozen	silly	putty	.
neg	running	time	:	2	hours	20	minutes	starring	matthew	broderick	,	jean	reno	and	maria	pitillo	directed	by	roland	emmerich	fantastically	over	hyped	,	godzila	finally	lumbers	onto	the	big	screen	.	the	film	opens	with	footage	of	nuclear	testing	on	the	french	polynesian	islands	,	then	an	attack	on	a	boat	from	some	beast	,	and	finally	we	join	dr	.	nick	tatopoulos	(	broderick	looking	about	17	years	old	)	doing	some	research	in	chernobyl	.	some	shady	u	.	s	government	guys	appear	,	and	ask	him	to	come	to	an	island	where	they	have	massive	footprints	,	from	what	looks	like	a	giant	lizard	.	and	what's	more	,	this	beast	is	heading	for	new	york	.	gulp	!	although	godzilla	should	be	a	non	stop	roller	coaster	ride	,	and	at	some	points	it	is	,	there	is	something	curiously	uninvolving	and	unexciting	about	this	movie	.	the	main	faults	lie	with	the	acting	and	writing	,	common	problems	with	'summer	blockbuster'	movies	.	broderick	is	pretty	useless	as	the	hero	,	with	no	humour	or	a	'tough	guy'	image	.	while	emmerich's	previous	summer	flick	,	independence	day	(	1996	)	had	wisecracks	and	action	from	jeff	goldblum	and	will	smith	,	this	has	neither	.	also	,	maria	pitillo	,	as	broderick's	former	girlfriend	,	is	just	as	useless	,	with	a	chronic	disability	in	acting	.	she's	incapable	of	showing	emotion	,	speaks	every	line	in	the	same	way	,	and	basically	she's	total	crap	.	it's	up	to	french	actor	jean	reno	to	save	the	day	,	and	indeed	he	does	,	turning	in	a	campy	performance	as	a	french	secret	agent	.	shame	he	has	such	little	screen	time	in	such	a	overlong	film	.	hank	azaria	also	turns	up	as	a	crazy	cameraman	named	'animal'	,	and	he	adds	a	little	life	to	the	picture	.	also	making	an	appearance	is	harry	shearer	(	probably	best	know	for	doing	voices	in	the	simpsons	)	as	a	slimy	news	reporter	.	o	.	k	,	so	the	acting	is	not	up	to	par	,	but	it	never	is	in	these	movies	.	but	what	about	the	script	?	well	,	that's	not	up	to	par	either	.	emmerich	and	screenwriting	pal	dean	devlin	seem	so	caught	in	the	destruction	of	new	york	city	that	they	forgot	to	write	a	script	.	the	dialogue	is	banal	(	broderick	looks	at	a	lot	of	fish	and	utters	'that's	a	lot	of	fish	.	'	)	,	and	the	character	development	is	non	existent	(	reno	plays	the	typical	frenchman	(	'no	croissant	?	'	)	,	broderick	forever	remains	a	geeky	scientist	.	)	also	,	the	film	is	seriously	lacking	a	sense	of	humour	.	the	jokes	that	are	uttered	are	pathetic	,	and	there's	an	'hilarious'	running	gag	about	siskel	and	ebert	.	(	the	mayor	is	mayor	ebert	,	and	is	assistant	is	called	gene	!	ha	ha	ha	ha	!	.	)	the	plot	is	dire	,	and	in	the	end	just	rips	off	jurassic	park	(	1993	)	by	having	lots	of	baby	godzilla's	(	i	.	e	.	velicorapters	)	running	around	new	york	.	right	,	so	the	script	and	acting	suck	.	but	what	about	the	special	effects	?	thankfully	,	they're	are	quite	good	.	godzilla	is	an	impressive	piece	of	cgi	,	although	we	don't	see	much	of	him	because	the	movie	is	so	dark	.	the	destruction	of	new	york	is	pretty	well	done	aswell	.	but	although	they	are	impressive	,	they	can't	save	godzilla	from	being	an	hugely	disappointing	and	boring	movie	.	the	movie	goes	on	for	far	too	long	aswell	,	and	it	can't	seem	to	decide	on	a	ending	.	and	of	course	,	the	ending	itself	leaves	possibility	for	a	sequel	.	let's	just	hope	one	never	arrives	.
neg	the	marketers	of	hudson	hawk	obviously	have	a	lot	more	talent	than	the	filmmakers	.	misguided	and	miscalculated	on	every	conceivable	level	,	hudson	hawk	is	the	most	lame	brained	,	stupefyingly	awful	movie	to	have	come	around	in	a	long	time	.	director	michael	lehmann	(	heathers	)	has	taken	a	promising	idea	and	turned	it	into	a	mind	boggling	misfire	,	a	sorry	spectacle	of	a	film	that	even	the	most	die	hard	bruce	willis	fans	will	abhor	.	the	movie's	wooden	and	empty	headed	plot	revolves	around	master	cat	burglar	eddie	"	hudson	hawk	,	"	played	by	willis	.	he's	hired	to	steal	three	priceless	da	vinci	artifacts	by	a	variety	of	odious	villains	the	mario	brothers	,	george	kaplan	and	the	candy	bars	,	and	a	pair	of	kinky	and	colorful	miscreants	,	darwin	and	minerva	mayflower	(	played	to	the	hilt	by	richard	e	.	grant	and	sandra	bernhard	)	.	the	plan	is	to	unlock	the	secrets	of	leonardo's	puzzle	,	three	rubik's	cube	like	crystals	which	,	when	put	together	correctly	,	are	said	to	provide	instant	wealth	and	gratification	.	pity	the	same	couldn't	be	said	of	the	film	.	the	hawk	is	aided	and	abetted	by	long	time	partner	in	crime	and	confidante	tommy	five	tone	(	danny	aiello	of	do	the	right	thing	)	.	they	get	to	perform	a	couple	of	gratuitously	surreal	musical	numbers	together	,	which	shows	you	just	how	low	this	film	will	sink	in	order	to	get	a	laugh	.	andie	macdowell	(	sex	,	lies	and	videotape	)	plays	willis'	love	interest	,	anna	baragli	.	lovely	,	yes	,	but	interesting	?	not	in	this	movie	.	you	know	where	the	film's	heading	when	it	manages	to	poke	fun	at	asians	,	the	handicapped	and	overweight	people	all	within	the	first	five	minutes	.	by	its	long	overdue	conclusion	,	everyone	else	in	between	including	the	audience	has	been	insulted	.	the	best	thing	in	the	film	are	the	mayflowers	,	who	resemble	characters	in	a	john	waters	movie	.	bernhard	has	a	field	day	in	her	role	as	minerva	,	a	garishly	outfitted	,	rubber	faced	dominatrix	who	gets	off	on	psychologically	ridiculing	the	mawkish	hawk	.	her	performance	is	hideously	over	the	top	,	but	that's	what	makes	it	all	the	more	fun	to	watch	.	and	grant's	despotic	darwin	delivers	what	few	funny	lines	there	are	in	the	film	.	waters	,	the	director	of	such	sleazoid	epics	as	pink	flamingos	and	polyester	,	has	said	that	bad	taste	is	what	entertainment	is	all	about	.	but	in	hudson	hawk	,	lehmann	abuses	the	privilege	.	apparently	the	film	had	more	than	its	fair	share	of	production	problems	,	discernible	from	the	opening	credits	.	willis	who	must	take	a	large	part	of	the	blame	for	this	embarrassment	co	wrote	the	story	with	executive	producer	robert	kraft	.	kraft	,	in	turn	,	shares	screen	credit	with	composer	michael	kamen	(	die	hard	and	the	"	lethal	weapon	"	series	)	.	kamen	was	supposedly	still	working	on	the	score	days	before	the	film	was	released	.	and	it	shows	.	the	sound	,	too	,	is	so	bad	you	can't	often	hear	what	the	characters	are	saying	.	and	the	film	is	poorly	edited	some	snatches	of	footage	are	so	short	you're	not	quite	sure	what	you	are	supposed	to	have	seen	.	all	this	in	a	movie	reputed	to	have	cost	upwards	of	75	million	!
neg	the	army	comedy	genre	has	never	turned	out	a	truly	good	movie	(	if	you	don't	count	neil	simon's	biloxi	blues	)	.	year	after	year	,	more	predictably	cliched	military	movies	come	out	most	recently	sgt	.	bilko	and	none	of	them	ever	manage	to	be	anything	more	than	a	rehash	of	the	last	.	i	thought	stripes	would	be	different	.	with	ivan	reitman	as	director	,	bill	murray	as	star	and	harold	ramis	as	co	star	and	co	screenwriter	,	it	seemed	like	it	would	be	ghostbusters	in	the	army	.	instead	,	it	was	a	bunch	of	unfunny	crap	in	the	army	.	murray	,	about	as	funny	and	sophisticated	here	as	he	was	in	meatballs	,	plays	a	loser	cab	driver	who	sees	the	army	as	his	only	chance	for	success	,	and	convinces	his	friend	ramis	to	enlist	with	him	.	so	he	does	,	and	we	get	the	obligatory	drill	sergeant	from	hell	,	head	shaving	and	marching	singing	sequences	,	more	mind	numbingly	stale	here	than	ever	.	the	characters	are	even	less	original	,	ranging	from	underachieving	slob	john	candy	to	incompetent	captain	john	larroquette	.	all	the	big	name	stars	in	stripes	(	and	even	larroquette	)	fall	victim	to	the	lame	,	rehashed	material	and	are	never	really	likeable	,	murray	in	particular	.	he	only	gets	a	few	decent	lines	in	,	although	those	barely	funny	one	liners	pale	in	comparison	to	the	hilarious	peter	venkman	character	he	played	three	years	later	in	ghostbusters	.	he	was	even	better	in	caddyshack	,	for	crying	out	loud	.	as	with	a	lot	of	the	late	70's	early	80's	comedies	,	stripes	is	a	completely	juvenile	movie	only	a	child	would	like	but	is	so	sex	obsessed	no	child	should	be	able	to	watch	it	.	i'm	sure	it	seems	funny	on	paper	to	have	candy	pay	over	400	to	mud	wrestle	five	beautiful	women	,	but	while	watching	it	all	that	was	coming	out	of	my	mouth	was	the	admonition	"	dear	god	!	"	every	few	seconds	.	stripes	isn't	the	playful	kind	of	sex	comedy	,	either	.	most	of	the	time	it	seems	downright	misogynistic	,	as	when	larroquette	uses	his	telescope	to	peer	into	the	women's	showers	or	murray	lifts	a	female	m	.	p	.	onto	the	stove	and	,	with	an	i	know	what	you	like	look	on	his	face	,	says	he's	going	to	give	her	the	"	aunt	jemima	treatment	,	"	which	means	shoving	a	spatula	under	her	butt	repeatedly	.	you	don't	want	to	stick	around	as	the	scene	progresses	and	he	uses	an	ice	cream	scoop	on	her	genital	region	.	"	i'm	not	enjoying	this	,	"	the	woman	protests	.	my	sentiments	exactly	.
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	ghosts	of	mars	"	(	sony	pictures	entertainment	)	horror	auteur	john	carpenter	(	"	halloween	,	"	"	vampires	"	)	strikes	out	with	this	sci	fi	eco	fable	that's	so	bad	it	boggles	the	mind	to	imagine	how	the	project	ever	got	green	lit	.	the	script	by	carpenter	and	larry	sulkis	appears	to	have	been	lifted	directly	from	last	year's	"	pitch	black	,	"	involving	a	violent	prisoner	who	must	be	released	from	bondage	so	that	he	can	help	a	small	band	of	humans	protect	themselves	from	blood	thirsty	,	marauding	aliens	.	in	the	year	2176	,	there	are	640	,	000	earthlings	on	mars	,	living	in	a	matriarchal	society	led	by	a	commander	,	played	by	pam	grier	.	grier	,	pill	poppin'	natasha	henstridge	,	and	some	rookie	mars	police	officers	(	clea	duvall	,	jason	statham	)	travel	to	the	remote	mining	town	of	shining	canyon	to	fetch	"	desolation	"	williams	that's	ice	cube	to	bring	him	back	to	chryse	city	to	stand	trial	for	murder	.	but	when	they're	besieged	by	demented	,	zombie	like	,	body	snatching	miners	,	they	readily	free	the	scowling	ice	cube	since	they	need	him	for	protection	.	it	seems	a	red	cloud	was	released	from	a	shining	canyon	cave	and	,	soon	after	,	most	of	the	miners	went	bonkers	as	long	dormant	remnants	of	an	ancient	martian	civilization	took	over	their	minds	and	bodies	,	lopping	off	heads	as	"	vengeance	for	anything	that	tries	to	lay	claim	to	their	planet	,	"	according	to	a	scientist	(	joanna	cassidy	)	.	carpenter	uses	so	many	flashbacks	to	tell	the	"	night	of	the	living	dead	"	like	story	that	the	idiotic	plot	gets	incomprehensibly	confusing	.	but	you	can	easily	predict	each	of	the	supporting	characters	who	will	be	killed	,	along	with	the	order	of	their	elimination	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	ghosts	of	mars	"	thuds	to	a	laborious	,	bottom	of	the	barrel	1	.	perhaps	,	indeed	,	there	is	a	curse	on	mars	films	,	if	you	recall	two	other	duds	:	"	mission	to	mars	"	and	"	red	planet	.	"
neg	it's	not	a	bad	thing	to	update	old	stories	.	it's	done	all	the	time	in	the	oral	tradition	.	the	difficulty	with	this	film	is	not	that	the	tale	has	changed	,	it's	that	it's	dry	.	the	new	cinderella	,	danielle	(	drew	barrymore	)	is	not	sitting	around	waiting	for	her	prince	to	come	.	she's	a	woman	of	the	late	twentieth	century	albeit	situated	in	sixteenth	century	france	.	when	her	father	dies	,	she	stays	on	in	his	house	even	though	she	is	mistreated	by	her	wicked	stepmother	rodmilla	(	anjelica	huston	)	.	she	works	by	day	,	but	reads	sir	thomas	more	by	firelight	at	night	.	although	the	story	is	updated	,	you	know	the	plot	.	danielle	meets	prince	henry	(	dougray	scott	)	,	goes	to	a	ball	disguised	,	is	later	found	out	and	they	live	happily	ever	after	.	the	movie	is	often	like	watching	a	filmed	play	.	theater	in	real	life	is	engrossing	.	theater	on	the	screen	is	usually	lifeless	.	there	doesn't	seem	to	be	much	going	on	.	the	camera	can	be	a	star	of	films	.	here	it's	a	co	conspirator	.	danielle's	convictions	are	compromised	.	a	socialist	and	a	feminist	,	she	pretends	to	be	royalty	to	get	her	man	.	a	kind	woman	,	her	last	act	in	the	movie	is	one	of	revenge	.	the	most	enjoyable	characters	are	the	most	cartoonish	.	the	fairy	godmother	stand	in	,	leonardo	da	vinci	(	patrick	godfrey	)	is	fun	to	watch	as	the	eccentric	old	man	who	advises	danielle	.	huston	is	enjoyable	in	her	over	the	top	wickedness	.	in	all	fairness	,	my	companion	loved	the	film	.	maybe	it's	one	of	those	"	chick	flicks	"	that	men	don't	like	.	it	is	certainly	a	date	film	.	nearly	the	entire	audience	was	couples	.	oh	well	,	maybe	it's	good	for	something	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	23	years	and	should	have	known	that	his	run	of	enjoyable	summer	films	was	bound	to	end	sometime	.	email	your	retro	fitted	legends	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	)	this	appeared	in	the	8	6	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	manchester	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	alliance	atlantis	on	july	14	,	2000	;	certificate	u	;	85	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	britt	allcroft	;	produced	by	britt	allcroft	,	phil	fehrle	.	written	by	britt	allcroft	.	photographed	by	paul	ryan	;	edited	by	ron	wisman	.	to	begin	,	some	background	information	:	"	thomas	the	tank	engine	"	was	a	strange	and	wonderful	british	tv	show	for	children	,	first	broadcast	when	i	was	growing	up	in	the	1980s	,	and	still	popular	today	.	it	took	place	at	a	railway	station	,	where	every	day	virtuous	steam	engines	and	malevolent	diesel	trains	would	pull	in	to	tell	the	one	human	character	,	fat	controller	,	what	scrapes	they'd	been	getting	into	.	it	was	innocent	fantasy	,	complete	with	a	great	theme	tune	,	and	narration	by	ringo	starr	.	now	it	has	been	adapted	to	the	big	screen	in	a	movie	that	shows	why	'americanisation'	is	a	pejorative	term	.	"	thomas	and	the	magic	railroad	"	is	nonsensical	,	cheesy	,	saccharine	drivel	,	with	all	the	charm	of	its	source	material	removed	,	and	the	low	tech	special	effects	kept	in	.	the	original	television	programme	was	on	a	limited	budget	,	and	so	the	trains	were	plastic	models	with	stationary	painted	on	expressions	that	talked	without	moving	their	mouths	.	this	is	a	big	hollywood	movie	,	but	uses	the	same	technique	,	despite	having	computer	graphics	for	its	other	sections	.	the	movie's	shabby	,	mismatched	visual	style	prevents	its	multiple	story	threads	from	coming	together	,	and	creates	a	schizophrenic	tone	,	especially	as	characters	zoom	across	different	worlds	"	alice	in	wonderland	"	style	without	ever	looking	shocked	.	there	are	scenes	in	'reality'	where	a	reclusive	railway	tycoon	,	burnett	stone	(	peter	fonda	)	,	is	being	visited	by	his	granddaughter	lily	(	mara	wilson	)	.	their	time	together	is	interrupted	by	a	distress	call	from	the	film's	main	character	,	mr	.	conductor	(	alec	baldwin	)	,	a	midget	pixie	who	uses	a	magic	whistle	to	transport	himself	across	the	multiple	universes	he	inhabits	.	these	include	shining	time	a	whitewashed	theme	park	of	a	town	,	whose	residents	wear	zombie	like	smiles	and	uniform	clothing	and	the	island	of	sodor	,	which	resembles	episodes	of	"	thomas	the	tank	engine	"	but	has	nothing	to	do	with	anything	else	in	the	movie	.	the	plot	follows	mr	.	conductor's	search	for	gold	dust	,	which	he	needs	to	power	his	whistle	.	efforts	to	resupply	keep	getting	thwarted	by	naughty	trains	like	diesel	,	splatter	and	dodge	,	and	he	must	speak	to	flowers	,	send	supernatural	spells	to	dogs	and	do	a	lot	of	other	incomprehensible	stuff	to	succeed	.	i	found	this	hard	to	follow	.	kids	will	be	so	confused	you	might	as	well	hand	them	the	work	of	plato	in	the	original	ancient	greek	tablets	.	the	actors	deserve	sympathy	,	too	,	because	they	had	to	pretend	that	it	all	made	sense	.	baldwin	is	the	most	embarrassing	wandering	around	on	his	own	,	attempting	to	breathe	excitement	into	nothing	in	particular	,	talking	as	if	to	an	imaginary	friend	.	fonda	delivers	a	ridiculous	series	of	sentimental	,	deadly	serious	speeches	;	he	looks	like	he's	trying	to	win	an	oscar	,	even	though	his	lines	are	all	similar	to	the	following	:	"	lady	was	the	best	steam	engine	in	the	world	.	.	.	ah	,	how	i	loved	her	.	.	.	and	my	wife	loved	her	,	too	.	.	.	but	diesel	chased	her	.	.	.	and	her	coal	all	ran	out	!	o	god	!	"	"	thomas	and	the	magic	railroad	"	was	written	,	produced	and	directed	by	a	first	time	helmsman	named	britt	allcroft	.	he	should	be	ashamed	of	himself	.	projects	like	this	incompetent	and	tortuous	,	but	advertised	as	'family	entertainment'	not	only	insult	children's	intelligence	,	but	eat	away	at	them	,	causing	devastation	.	kids	will	approach	it	with	high	expectations	,	because	of	love	for	the	tv	show	;	then	refuse	to	believe	it's	bad	,	convince	themselves	that	it	must	be	good	,	and	that	they	just	weren't	paying	attention	.	then	they	will	slowly	realise	that	,	no	,	it	was	bad	,	and	that	they	have	been	cheated	and	fooled	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	wild	wild	west	(	pg	)	.	(	warner	bros	village	roadshow	)	director	:	barry	sonnenfeld	stars	:	will	smith	,	kevin	kline	,	kenneth	branagh	,	salma	hayek	,	ted	levine	,	m	emmett	walsh	,	frederique	van	der	wal	,	musetia	vander	,	sofia	eng	,	bai	ling	,	rodney	a	grant	running	time	:	106	minutes	.	hollywood	again	proves	that	it	has	lost	the	plot	with	yet	another	misguided	attempt	at	bringing	a	forgotten	'60's	tv	series	to	the	screen	.	wild	wild	west	followed	the	exploits	of	a	pair	of	secret	government	agents	who	travelled	across	the	wild	frontier	by	train	thwarting	threats	against	the	country	.	this	big	screen	version	ultimately	seems	little	more	than	a	camp	,	second	rate	bond	like	adventure	set	against	the	background	of	the	old	west	.	from	the	outset	,	with	its	fresh	,	hip	hop	take	on	the	familiar	theme	music	,	it's	clear	that	this	new	look	wild	wild	west	is	far	removed	from	the	original	tv	series	,	and	clearly	determined	to	follow	its	own	slightly	modern	path	.	a	horribly	miscast	will	smith	(	enemy	of	the	people	,	etc	)	steps	into	the	robert	conrad	role	of	james	west	,	president	grant's	top	secret	agent	.	although	the	film	is	set	in	the	years	immediately	following	the	civil	war	,	the	thought	of	a	black	man	venturing	unobtrusively	through	the	frontier	and	battling	villainous	plots	is	a	little	too	incredible	to	swallow	.	the	film	is	set	in	1869	,	several	years	after	the	destructive	and	divisive	civil	war	has	left	its	scars	on	the	fledgling	nation's	psyche	.	long	presumed	dead	,	the	embittered	and	crippled	dr	arliss	loveless	(	kenneth	branagh	)	re	emerges	from	hiding	,	driven	by	a	megalomaniacal	lust	for	power	.	he	has	conceived	a	preposterous	plot	to	dismantle	the	union	and	return	the	various	states	to	their	previous	owners	.	he	has	kidnapped	several	notable	scientists	,	and	forced	them	to	work	on	his	ultimate	weapon	of	mass	destruction	actually	a	giant	mechanical	spider	which	stomps	across	the	frontier	blasting	towns	into	oblivion	in	the	hope	of	blackmailing	president	grant	into	agreeing	to	his	demands	.	enter	west	(	smith	)	and	artemus	gordon	(	kevin	kline	)	,	two	of	grant's	top	agents	,	who	are	forced	into	a	reluctant	partnership	to	thwart	loveless's	diabolical	scheme	.	west	is	an	impulsive	man	of	action	who	shoots	first	,	while	gordon	is	a	more	thoughtful	but	somewhat	eccentric	agent	,	with	a	penchant	for	disguises	and	clever	inventions	that	are	ahead	of	their	time	.	this	odd	couple	pairing	follows	a	predictable	formula	,	although	their	relationship	brings	an	almost	contemporary	sensibility	to	this	unorthodox	western	.	the	pair	spark	a	number	of	laughs	along	the	way	,	with	plenty	of	snappy	one	liners	and	some	risque	humour	.	the	best	gags	though	are	the	visual	ones	,	in	particular	a	series	of	sly	in	jokes	depicting	some	contemporary	cultural	icons	.	the	film	starts	off	promisingly	enough	,	but	degenerates	into	camp	farce	with	the	arrival	of	the	legless	loveless	and	his	amazon	army	.	branagh's	performance	is	all	corn	ball	humour	and	dreary	accent	and	bad	jokes	,	and	he	hardly	establishes	a	menacing	presence	.	smith	brings	an	arrogant	attitude	to	the	role	,	but	his	performance	lends	a	contemporary	flavour	to	the	character	.	kline	actually	plays	a	dual	role	here	,	appearing	both	as	gordon	and	as	president	grant	,	and	he	brings	a	nice	comic	edge	to	his	performance	.	although	smith	and	kline	develop	a	good	rapport	and	work	well	together	,	they	deserve	better	material	.	the	vivacious	salma	hayek	is	wasted	in	thankless	,	exploitive	role	that	doesn't	really	allow	her	to	do	much	.	director	barry	sonnenfeld	(	men	in	black	,	etc	)	is	a	dab	hand	with	the	spectacular	effects	and	gimmickry	on	display	,	but	somehow	the	whole	thing	lacks	credibility	and	a	genuine	sense	of	excitement	.	with	this	often	silly	mix	of	western	action	and	high	tech	gadgetry	,	sonnenfeld	and	his	team	of	gun	writers	,	which	includes	s	s	wilson	and	brent	maddock	(	short	circuit	,	etc	)	and	jeffrey	price	and	peter	s	seaman	(	who	framed	roger	rabbit	?	,	etc	)	,	seem	unsure	of	their	target	audience	.	like	the	b	grade	,	megalomaniacal	bond	villain	of	the	piece	,	this	lame	attempt	to	revive	the	'60's	television	series	lacks	any	sort	of	legs	,	and	fails	to	last	the	distance	.	tame	tame	west	is	more	like	it	!
neg	apparently	,	when	crap	calls	,	jim	carrey	answers	.	here	he	is	,	mugging	it	up	in	countless	unfunny	ways	for	the	fifth	time	,	his	second	go	around	in	the	role	of	pet	detective	ace	ventura	.	that	means	more	talking	ass	cracks	,	penis	jokes	and	cries	of	"	al	l	l	l	l	l	l	l	l	l	lrighty	then	.	"	it	all	adds	up	to	a	sequel	that	makes	the	original	resemble	schindler's	list	in	terms	of	dramatic	merit	,	or	lack	of	.	granted	,	there	are	a	few	laughs	amid	the	constant	barrage	of	pre	school	humor	,	but	anyone	who	appreciates	good	comedy	will	bang	their	head	against	the	wall	ten	times	for	every	minor	chuckle	.	it's	a	painful	experience	for	anyone	with	a	brain	.	ace	is	distraught	after	accidentally	dropping	a	racoon	into	a	canyon	(	in	a	parody	of	the	opening	scene	of	sylvester	stallone's	cliffhanger	,	jim	carrey	being	the	only	person	who	can	make	stallone	look	like	a	college	professor	in	terms	of	intellect	,	or	lack	of	)	and	decides	to	retire	to	the	mountains	of	tibet	to	gain	a	higher	level	of	consciousness	(	or	,	in	his	case	,	a	level	of	consciousness	)	.	but	he	is	pulled	out	of	retirement	to	the	tune	of	20	,	000	to	retrieve	a	sacred	white	bat	for	an	african	tribe	.	why	africa	?	so	carrey	can	disguise	himself	nude	inside	a	fake	rhino	and	later	climb	out	the	rear	end	as	a	tourist	family	watches	(	"	look	,	the	rhino's	about	to	give	birth	!	"	)	.	if	that	seems	like	hee	haw	humor	to	you	,	by	all	means	,	see	the	movie	.	if	not	,	claim	your	place	in	human	civilization	with	the	rest	of	us	.	obviously	,	there	are	quite	a	few	nonmembers	of	civilization	who	made	this	movie	,	like	the	first	ace	ventura	film	(	i	use	the	word	"	film	"	only	because	it	was	filmed	,	not	because	there's	any	level	of	artistic	merit	.	)	,	a	huge	success	.	in	fact	,	carrey	only	has	a	career	because	of	the	decline	of	intelligence	in	our	culture	.	you	may	say	to	me	,	"	but	andrew	,	look	at	jerry	lewis	.	he	was	born	with	a	negative	i	.	q	.	and	look	how	popular	he	was	thirty	years	ago	.	"	maybe	,	but	i	still	say	jerry	lewis	is	a	notch	or	two	up	on	the	comedic	ladder	because	he	never	actually	did	an	impression	in	a	movie	of	a	rabid	bulldog	biting	off	a	man's	testicles	.	.	.	lewis	at	least	had	the	dignity	to	save	that	performance	for	when	company	came	over	.
neg	united	states	,	1998	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	3	20	98	(	wide	)	running	length	:	1	:	48	mpaa	classification	:	r	(	male	full	frontal	nudity	,	female	topless	nudity	,	graphic	sexual	activity	,	frequent	profanity	,	violence	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	2	.	35	:	1	cast	:	kevin	bacon	,	matt	dillon	,	neve	campbell	,	theresa	russell	,	denise	richards	,	daphne	rubin	vega	,	carrie	snodgress	,	jeff	perry	,	robert	wagner	,	bill	murray	director	:	john	mcnaughton	producers	:	steven	a	.	jones	,	rodney	m	.	liber	screenplay	:	stephen	peters	cinematography	:	jeffrey	l	.	kimball	music	:	george	s	.	clinton	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	columbia	pictures	wild	things	is	a	way	to	steam	up	an	otherwise	dreary	early	spring	day	provided	,	of	course	,	that	you're	the	victim	of	a	frontal	lobotomy	.	there	is	,	in	fact	,	no	doubt	about	who	this	motion	picture	is	aimed	at	:	movie	goers	in	their	late	teens	and	early	twenties	the	most	lucrative	target	group	.	this	is	film	noir	for	the	mtv	generation	:	fast	paced	,	slick	,	flashy	,	gleefully	mindless	,	and	hollow	to	the	core	.	wild	things	is	easily	one	of	the	five	dumbest	movies	to	arrive	in	theaters	during	the	first	eleven	weeks	of	1998	.	i've	seen	more	convincing	drama	(	with	nearly	as	much	bare	flesh	)	on	that	pinnacle	of	narrative	quality	,	baywatch	.	wild	things	wants	to	dupe	viewers	into	thinking	it's	a	thriller	with	a	real	story	.	what	it	is	,	however	,	is	a	series	of	increasingly	improbable	and	shockingly	predictable	plot	twists	.	everything	in	between	those	serpentine	moments	is	filler	a	flash	of	a	breast	,	a	spatter	of	blood	,	and	some	of	the	most	idiotic	dialogue	this	side	of	a	steven	seagal	movie	.	the	film	tries	so	hard	to	surprise	its	audience	that	the	twists	end	up	being	easy	to	guess	just	take	a	stab	at	the	most	unlikely	thing	to	happen	,	and	that	will	probably	be	it	.	using	this	approach	,	i	was	right	three	times	and	wrong	only	once	.	that's	not	a	good	average	for	a	production	that	wants	to	keep	viewers	in	the	dark	about	what's	around	the	next	corner	.	the	ad	campaign	uses	two	things	to	sell	this	movie	:	the	hot	,	young	cast	and	the	old	standby	,	sex	.	both	have	an	abundance	of	screen	time	,	although	i'll	admit	that	the	film's	erotic	content	is	somewhat	less	impressive	than	i	expected	.	nothing	about	wild	things	is	exceptionally	risqu	.	the	soft	core	sex	sequences	are	generic	,	and	don't	generate	much	heat	.	the	lesbian	kisses	can't	hold	a	candle	to	those	in	bound	.	theresa	russell	and	denise	richards	have	only	token	topless	appearances	(	neve	campbell	,	possessing	an	iron	clad	"	no	nudity	"	clause	in	her	contract	,	keeps	her	clothes	more	or	less	on	)	.	the	film's	greatest	curiosity	is	a	full	frontal	shot	of	kevin	bacon	climbing	out	of	the	shower	.	maybe	a	few	girls	will	skip	seeing	a	fully	clothed	leonardo	dicaprio	for	the	thirteenth	time	in	titanic	to	catch	a	glimpse	of	what	kyra	sedgwick	(	mrs	.	kevin	bacon	)	is	familiar	with	.	the	director	of	wild	things	is	john	mcnaughton	,	whose	last	effort	was	the	finely	tuned	psychological	thriller	,	normal	life	.	that	movie	featured	copious	sex	,	a	pair	of	real	characters	,	and	a	powerful	script	.	it's	difficult	to	believe	that	something	this	shallow	could	come	from	the	same	film	maker	.	but	i	suppose	we	all	need	to	put	food	on	the	table	.	mcnaughton	appears	to	have	completely	lost	his	way	here	,	in	what	is	obviously	a	stab	at	mainstream	success	(	his	previous	wide	release	picture	,	mad	dog	and	glory	,	was	a	box	office	disappointment	)	.	quick	cuts	and	pretty	sunrises	can't	even	begin	to	cover	up	this	movie's	flaws	.	the	main	character	(	and	i	use	that	term	lightly	,	since	no	one	in	wild	things	shows	more	than	an	occasional	flash	of	personality	)	is	sam	lombardo	(	matt	dillon	)	,	a	guidance	counselor	at	florida's	blue	bay	high	school	.	a	student	,	the	deliciously	curvaceous	kelly	van	ryan	(	denise	richards	)	,	has	a	crush	on	him	.	one	afternoon	,	she	comes	to	his	house	to	wash	his	car	,	and	,	when	she	leaves	,	her	clothing	is	torn	.	after	confessing	to	her	mother	(	theresa	russell	)	that	she	was	raped	,	she	goes	to	the	police	station	,	where	she	tells	her	story	to	detectives	ray	duquette	(	kevin	bacon	)	and	gloria	perez	(	daphne	rubin	vega	)	.	they	are	skeptical	about	here	claims	until	another	girl	,	suzie	toller	(	neve	campbell	)	,	comes	forward	with	a	similar	tale	.	meanwhile	,	sam	,	convinced	that	he's	being	set	up	,	goes	to	a	shyster	lawyer	(	bill	murray	)	for	help	.	the	acting	in	wild	things	isn't	very	good	,	but	none	of	the	principals	have	much	to	work	with	.	this	is	definitely	not	a	character	based	motion	picture	.	not	only	does	the	ludicrous	screenplay	ignore	the	possibility	that	someone	in	the	audience	may	have	a	triple	digit	i	.	q	.	,	but	it	doesn't	bother	to	give	any	of	the	on	screen	individuals	even	a	hint	of	depth	.	the	men	and	women	populating	the	picture	are	there	to	look	nice	,	but	nothing	more	.	matt	dillon	is	given	plenty	of	opportunities	to	flex	his	biceps	.	neve	campbell	gets	to	model	the	slutty	look	.	denise	richards	strikes	a	fetching	pose	in	a	see	through	,	one	piece	bathing	suit	.	and	nothing	in	the	film	gets	a	rise	out	of	kevin	bacon	.	the	only	one	who's	even	remotely	interesting	is	bill	murray	,	and	he	seems	to	think	he's	in	comedy	,	not	a	thriller	(	maybe	he's	got	the	right	idea	)	.	columbia	pictures	has	specifically	requested	that	critics	not	reveal	the	film's	ending	,	which	prompts	the	question	:	which	ending	do	they	want	kept	secret	?	wild	things	has	no	less	than	three	(	one	occurs	during	the	end	credits	,	so	stay	seated	)	,	all	of	which	are	jaw	droppingly	absurd	a	feat	that	joe	eszterhas	(	the	writer	of	basic	instinct	and	showgirls	)	would	be	impressed	by	.	thanks	to	jeffrey	kimball's	polished	,	kinetic	cinematography	,	wild	things	always	looks	great	,	and	george	s	.	clinton's	score	keeps	it	pulsing	and	throbbing	.	but	,	no	matter	how	shiny	the	superficial	sheen	is	,	this	is	still	trash	,	and	,	like	all	garbage	,	it	stinks	.
neg	starring	:	billy	zane	,	christina	ricci	,	sandra	bernhard	,	tippi	hendred	,	andrew	mccarthy	,	jonathan	taylor	thomas	,	nicollette	sheridan	,	steven	weber	,	ann	magnuson	,	john	ritter	,	rick	schroder	,	will	patton	,	ron	perlman	and	many	more	.	unrated	contains	violence	and	brief	nudity	.	there	have	been	bad	films	in	recent	years	:	'mr	.	magoo'	was	by	far	the	worst	ever	made	,	the	spectacularly	bad	'blue	in	the	face'	,	the	horrible	'baby	genuises'	and	now	'i	woke	up	early	the	day	i	died'	.	it	may	not	however	be	the	worst	movie	made	but	it	certainly	ranks	as	one	bad	movie	.	the	film's	acting	(	if	that's	what	you	want	to	call	it	)	is	well	mediocre	to	me	.	loaded	with	a	sensational	cast	you	would	think	that	the	cast	would	at	least	save	the	film	a	bit	,	boy	was	i	wrong	.	after	escaping	from	a	mental	institution	'the	thief'	played	by	billy	zane	goes	out	in	the	real	world	and	finds	that	it	is	pretty	harsh	and	gritty	.	he	turns	to	burglary	to	survive	,	robs	a	loan	back	,	kills	the	loan	officer	and	runs	with	thousands	.	a	country	wide	man	hunt	is	on	for	him	to	catch	him	and	bring	him	down	.	he	ends	up	in	a	cemetery	where	he	puts	his	money	in	a	coffin	to	keep	it	for	later	,	comes	back	and	realizes	that	someone	took	it	and	put	it	somewhere	.	now	he	is	determined	to	kill	all	the	visitors	at	the	funeral	earlier	that	day	until	he	gets	his	money	back	,	ultimately	leading	to	a	finale	that	is	less	that	satisfying	.	a	film	which	was	based	on	a	'long	lost'	script	by	ed	wood	,	i	have	only	one	question	:	no	dialogue	,	only	music	and	movement	where	exactly	is	the	point	?	the	film	moves	along	at	a	rather	slow	pace	,	but	does	have	one	advantage	:	the	soundtrack	which	is	catchy	and	vibrant	except	the	first	song	which	can	be	offensive	to	some	.	it	opens	with	a	fun	,	innovative	opening	credits	sequence	and	quickly	goes	downhill	after	that	.	some	of	the	low	points	are	when	'the	thief'	steals	a	woman's	purse	,	and	then	she	faints	,	sandra	bernhard	as	a	dancer	and	tippi	hendren	as	a	deaf	woman	whom	'the	thief'	kills	to	the	music	of	'psycho'	.	come	on	people	get	some	new	ideas	already	!	what's	even	worse	is	that	the	film	has	no	plot	at	all	.	well	to	a	certain	extent	it	does	,	but	who	cares	by	the	time	the	middle	of	the	film	arrives	we're	bored	out	of	our	mind	and	ready	for	something	fun	and	exciting	to	happen	.	'i	woke	up	early	the	day	i	died'	is	a	perfectly	bad	film	.	it	shows	us	how	low	filmmakers	get	sometimes	just	when	desperate	to	make	a	movie	.	even	with	the	huge	cast	talent	,	the	film	is	a	waste	of	my	time	and	certainly	a	waste	of	yours	.	reviewed	september	9	,	1999	by	brandon	herringmovie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	uip	on	april	14	,	2000	;	certificate	12	;	105	minutes	;	countries	of	origin	usa	uk	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	philip	haas	;	produced	by	david	brown	,	geoff	stier	.	written	by	belinda	haas	;	based	on	the	novella	by	w	.	somerset	maugham	.	photographed	by	maurizio	calvesi	;	edited	by	belinda	haas	.	it	was	akira	kurosawa	,	i	think	,	or	perhaps	luis	buuel	,	who	said	that	movies	which	tell	us	everything	often	have	nothing	to	say	.	it	was	one	of	the	great	directors	,	anyway	,	and	those	guys	know	what	they're	talking	about	.	"	up	at	the	villa	"	feels	like	it	was	made	to	prove	the	point	.	if	you	removed	every	bit	of	its	dialogue	that	strains	to	make	sure	we	understand	obvious	details	,	the	film	would	be	half	as	long	.	that	would	be	great	for	the	authors	,	because	they'd	have	plenty	of	free	space	in	which	to	insert	a	comprehensible	story	.	kristin	scott	thomas	stars	as	mary	panton	,	a	young	english	widow	staying	in	florence	at	the	advent	of	word	war	two	.	she	receives	a	marriage	proposal	from	sir	edgar	smith	(	james	fox	)	,	a	man	she	does	not	love	,	but	who	could	provide	her	with	security	.	this	point	is	emphasised	by	an	american	society	lady	,	princess	san	fernando	(	anne	bancroft	)	,	who	informs	her	guests	"	he	has	his	qualities	.	.	.	"	while	rubbing	her	fingers	together	to	make	clear	she's	alluding	to	his	money	.	of	course	,	every	minor	point	is	emphasised	in	"	up	at	the	villa	"	.	"	surely	he	didn't	come	all	the	way	here	just	to	dance	with	you	,	"	princess	asks	mary	,	while	needlessly	adding	"	he	must	be	wanting	to	marry	you	!	"	we	understand	what	the	characters	are	talking	about	,	but	the	screenplay	keeps	providing	them	with	unnecessary	clarifications	.	my	reviews	have	featured	a	lot	of	quotations	as	of	late	,	because	sometimes	that's	the	best	way	to	illustrate	what	a	film	is	like	.	it's	absolutely	essential	here	;	the	dialogue	is	the	key	point	,	drawing	attention	to	itself	by	insulting	our	intelligence	and	cluttering	things	up	.	there	is	a	love	interest	for	mary	in	the	movie	,	a	playboy	named	roley	flint	(	sean	penn	)	.	he	too	gets	some	awkward	lines	,	the	most	memorable	of	which	are	spoken	at	a	dinner	party	.	the	topic	of	conversation	is	electricity	shortages	.	"	it's	because	of	the	munitions	factories	,	"	says	roley	.	"	they're	using	up	all	the	power	.	"	so	far	,	so	good	.	but	then	:	"	they're	preparing	for	war	.	the	situation	in	europe	is	getting	really	tense	right	now	.	opposing	countries	are	getting	ready	for	armed	conflict	,	and	preparing	arsenals	of	weapons	.	"	as	the	film	goes	on	,	mary	finds	she	needs	to	turn	to	roley	for	help	:	after	she	breaks	the	heart	of	a	young	austrian	refugee	(	jeremy	davies	)	,	the	boy	shoots	himself	in	her	bedroom	,	and	roley	is	needed	to	help	get	rid	of	the	corpse	.	this	part	of	the	plot	becomes	the	middle	section	of	the	film	;	it's	intended	,	i	suppose	,	to	show	mary	and	roley	getting	to	know	each	other	.	but	it	sidetracks	the	drama	by	bogging	it	down	in	thriller	elements	the	characters	are	closely	observed	,	all	right	,	but	as	conspirators	rather	than	potential	lovers	.	the	emotions	of	the	film	get	confused	and	lost	,	and	by	the	finale	i	wasn't	sure	what	had	happened	.	mary	ends	up	with	neither	edgar	nor	roley	,	but	is	this	intended	as	a	sad	or	happy	ending	,	and	what	made	her	come	to	her	decision	?	"	up	at	the	villa	"	was	written	,	directed	and	edited	by	the	husband	and	wife	team	of	philip	and	belinda	haas	,	who	adapted	the	novella	by	w	.	somerset	maugham	.	it's	tempting	to	say	that	two	people	with	an	intimate	psychological	connection	shouldn't	work	on	a	film	together	without	some	other	significant	creative	influence	,	because	they	run	the	risk	of	making	it	so	personal	that	other	people	won't	understand	it	.	but	that's	just	not	true	think	of	the	wonderful	movies	made	by	such	auteurs	as	the	coen	,	hughes	and	marx	brothers	.	this	is	a	bland	and	aimless	film	.	i	don't	know	why	and	i	don't	much	care	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	_	a	_	night	_	at	_	the	_	roxbury	_	(	pg	13	)	1	2	(	out	of	)	two	party	guys	bob	their	heads	to	haddaway's	dance	hit	"	what	is	love	?	"	while	getting	themselves	into	trouble	in	nightclub	after	nightclub	.	it's	barely	enough	to	sustain	a	three	minute	_	saturday	_	night	_	live	_	skit	,	but	_	snl	_	producer	lorne	michaels	,	_	clueless	_	creator	amy	heckerling	,	and	paramount	pictures	saw	something	in	the	late	night	television	institution's	recurring	"	roxbury	guys	"	sketch	that	would	presumably	make	a	good	feature	.	emphasis	on	the	word	"	presumably	.	"	_	a	_	night	_	at	_	the	_	roxbury	_	takes	an	already	thin	concept	and	tediously	stretches	it	far	beyond	the	breaking	point	and	that	of	viewers'	patience	levels	.	the	first	five	minutes	or	so	of	_	roxbury	_	play	very	much	like	one	of	the	original	"	roxbury	guys	"	skits	.	with	"	what	is	love	?	"	blaring	on	the	soundtrack	,	the	brotherly	duo	of	doug	and	steve	butabi	(	chris	kattan	and	will	ferrell	)	bob	their	heads	,	scope	out	"	hotties	"	at	clubs	,	and	then	bump	a	select	few	with	violent	pelvic	thrusts	.	there	is	one	crucial	difference	,	however	these	guys	speak	.	that	little	fact	has	been	used	as	justification	for	the	film's	existence	,	that	the	butabis'	newfound	capacity	for	speech	would	open	up	a	whole	new	set	of	doors	for	the	characters	.	the	doors	opened	by	director	john	fortenberry	and	screenwriters	steve	koren	,	ferrell	,	and	kattan	are	new	,	that's	for	sure	,	but	they	all	lead	to	comic	dead	ends	.	there	is	no	story	per	se	,	only	a	loosely	structured	and	linked	series	of	subplots	.	the	brothers	literally	run	into	(	or	,	rather	,	get	run	into	,	as	in	by	car	)	richard	grieco	of	_	21	_	jump	_	street	_	fame	,	and	through	him	they	gain	entrance	into	the	exclusive	roxbury	club	.	there	,	they	meet	a	hotshot	club	owner	(	chazz	palminteri	,	conspicuously	uncredited	can	you	blame	him	?	)	,	who	takes	an	interest	in	an	idea	of	theirs	.	meanwhile	,	the	bros'	overbearing	father	(	dan	hedaya	)	wants	them	to	stop	clubbing	.	when	doug	refuses	and	the	dimwitted	steve	obeys	his	father	,	a	rift	is	created	between	the	two	.	the	narrative	messiness	of	_	roxbury	_	would	have	been	forgivable	if	all	that	went	on	were	the	slightest	bit	funny	,	but	virtually	none	of	it	is	.	the	assembled	press	audience	mostly	sat	stonily	silent	throughout	the	entire	film	,	with	the	one	big	exception	being	a	big	laugh	near	the	end	.	alas	,	the	joke	a	rather	lazy	takeoff	on	_	jerry	_	maguire	_	will	only	strike	a	chord	with	people	who	have	seen	that	film	.	granted	,	a	lot	of	people	_	have	_	seen	_	jerry	_	maguire	_	,	but	the	fact	that	the	film's	best	joke	is	completely	dependent	on	one's	familiarity	with	another	film	says	a	lot	about	_	roxbury	_	's	lack	of	inspiration	.	that	lack	of	inspiration	can	be	traced	back	to	the	insipid	characters	themselves	.	like	too	many	of	the	skits	on	the	current	incarnation	of	_	saturday	_	night	_	live	_	,	"	the	roxbury	guys	"	is	a	one	joke	sketch	that	never	once	suggests	that	the	characters	have	enough	comic	life	in	them	to	survive	outside	of	the	sketch	context	.	after	watching	one	of	the	"	roxbury	"	skits	on	snl	,	this	is	what	you	come	away	with	from	the	characters	:	they	bob	their	heads	to	"	what	is	love	?	"	,	bump	unsuspecting	women	,	and	.	.	.	that's	all	.	after	watching	_	a	_	night	_	at	_	the	_	roxbury	_	,	you'll	be	left	with	exactly	the	same	.
neg	set	against	the	colourful	background	of	the	cappuccino	culture	of	adelaide's	fashionable	rundle	street	,	the	low	budget	comedy	spank	!	is	both	an	embarrassment	and	a	disappointment	.	the	main	problem	lies	with	the	underdeveloped	script	from	first	time	writer	david	farrell	,	and	the	lack	of	control	over	the	material	displayed	by	first	time	director	ernie	clark	,	making	an	inauspicious	debut	.	nick	(	mario	gamma	)	and	his	friend	vinny	(	checc	musolino	)	decide	that	they	want	to	go	into	business	together	and	open	their	own	cafe	.	they	enter	into	a	partnership	with	wannabe	local	wheeler	and	dealer	rocky	pisoni	(	vince	poletto	,	recently	seen	in	jackie	chan's	mr	nice	guy	)	,	who	agrees	to	bankroll	the	enterprise	.	rocky	has	power	of	attorney	over	his	ailing	father's	business	.	although	he	dresses	sharply	he	has	few	clues	about	successfully	running	a	business	.	he	uses	bully	boy	tactics	to	oversee	his	father's	vast	investments	,	but	he	is	largely	ineffectual	.	the	dubious	deal	quickly	comes	unstuck	as	the	characters'	egos	and	personalities	take	over	.	nick	is	lazy	and	obnoxious	,	and	thinks	he's	a	real	charmer	with	the	ladies	.	vinny	lacks	money	,	and	turns	to	his	girl	friend	tina	(	lucia	mastrantone	)	for	financial	help	.	she	initially	advises	him	against	becoming	involved	in	any	dealing	with	nick	and	rocky	.	before	long	there	is	competition	between	the	various	players	to	open	their	own	establishments	.	intended	as	a	satire	with	something	constructive	to	say	about	the	rich	diversity	of	ethnic	culture	and	experiences	in	contemporary	australia	,	spank	!	misfires	badly	.	clark	has	completely	misjudged	the	tone	and	mood	of	the	material	,	and	this	comedy	actually	has	very	little	genuine	humour	.	wogs	out	of	work	and	head	on	explored	similar	issues	and	characters	in	far	more	emphatic	and	compelling	fashion	.	clark	,	a	former	cinematographer	,	makes	good	use	of	locations	to	provide	the	film	with	atmosphere	and	character	.	but	his	lack	of	experience	shows	in	the	quality	of	performances	he	draws	from	his	cast	.	the	performances	are	pitched	at	a	hysterically	overwrought	level	in	which	stereotypes	are	reduced	to	the	level	of	caricature	.	any	nuances	are	bludgeoned	into	submission	.	poletto	gives	a	completely	unbelievable	and	outrageous	performance	as	rocky	,	and	his	grating	and	unbearable	character	wears	out	his	welcome	even	before	the	film	is	half	over	.	gamma	captures	nick's	overbearing	personality	beautifully	with	an	energetic	but	unsubtle	performance	.	robert	mammone	(	heaven's	burning	,	etc	)	plays	paulie	,	the	film's	conscience	,	although	his	thoughtful	and	restrained	performance	almost	seems	to	belong	in	another	film	.	jo	(	victoria	dixon	whittle	)	is	a	thankless	clich	,	a	woman	who	dumps	her	narcissistic	but	wealthy	lover	,	who	treats	her	with	contempt	,	for	another	man	who	treats	her	with	respect	.	only	theatre	veteran	mastrantone	gives	a	more	positive	portrayal	of	a	strong	,	modern	woman	with	her	performance	as	the	independent	,	assertive	and	confident	tina	.	for	a	first	feature	spank	!	lacks	spark	,	polish	and	spunk	.	it	is	a	huge	disappointment	,	especially	when	compared	to	the	recent	achievements	of	gregor	jordan	with	his	superb	debut	two	hands	.	even	the	local	distributors	seem	to	have	recognised	its	overall	lack	of	quality	and	audience	appeal	,	and	have	decided	to	release	spank	!	straight	to	video	in	melbourne	and	sydney	.
neg	starring	heather	donahue	,	michael	williams	and	joshua	leonard	.	directed	by	daniel	myrick	and	ed	sanchez	running	time	:	1	hour	20	minutes	arriving	in	a	barrage	of	hype	,	the	blair	witch	project	is	one	of	the	biggest	box	office	success	of	the	year	.	however	,	like	the	golden	child	,	although	blair	witch	has	made	a	lot	of	money	,	it's	not	very	good	.	donahue	,	williams	and	leonard	play	themselves	as	three	students	who	set	out	to	make	a	documentary	about	the	blair	witch	myth	.	the	film	is	made	up	of	the	camcorder	footage	they	recorded	,	which	means	grainy	footage	and	woozy	camera	angles	.	although	events	start	of	normal	,	they	get	weird	pretty	quickly	,	while	the	threesome	argue	more	and	more	as	the	journey	goes	on	.	although	an	interesting	premise	,	the	blair	witch	project	amounts	to	nothing	more	than	a	missed	opportunity	.	the	biggest	mistake	the	film	makes	is	to	let	three	mediocre	actors	the	chance	to	improvise	.	most	of	the	dialogue	is	ad	libbed	,	and	still	manages	to	sound	like	a	poor	b	movie	.	the	'script'	eventually	degenerates	into	shouting	matches	,	with	the	f	word	included	a	lot	to	sound	like	students	.	there	are	breaks	in	these	arguments	where	some	creepy	events	occur	,	but	then	it's	back	to	the	shouting	and	swearing	,	which	gets	very	tiresome	very	quickly	.	if	i	wanted	to	see	three	people	get	lost	in	the	woods	,	shout	a	lot	and	swear	,	i'd	go	on	scout	camp	.	but	no	,	the	audience	is	meant	to	get	some	entertainment	factor	out	of	this	,	but	i'm	not	quite	sure	how	.	the	supernatural	parts	of	the	film	are	actually	interesting	,	especially	if	close	attention	is	paid	to	the	story	developing	first	twenty	minutes	.	with	no	music	and	no	budget	to	work	with	,	the	film	has	to	depend	on	natural	,	psychological	scares	,	which	are	sometimes	well	delivered	,	sometimes	not	.	i	never	really	felt	truly	scared	during	any	part	of	the	film	,	although	there	is	a	small	sense	of	fear	underlying	throughout	the	film	.	however	,	because	the	actors	are	so	irritating	,	the	scares	are	lost	when	it	eventually	reverts	back	to	heather	saying	'what	the	f	ck	is	that	?	'	a	lot	,	and	mike	giggling	like	a	loony	.	there's	also	the	niggling	fact	that	these	student	filmmakers	do	some	really	stupid	things	.	the	main	problem	is	the	fact	that	even	though	these	hapless	bunch	could	be	killed	at	any	moment	,	and	are	hopelessly	lost	,	heather	still	insists	on	filming	it	all	.	the	film	gives	a	half	hearted	reason	why	she	should	want	to	do	this	,	but	it	isn't	very	convincing	.	also	,	the	students	have	no	idea	how	to	survive	in	the	woods	,	such	as	following	a	large	river	flowing	through	the	woods	to	civilisation	.	there	are	also	some	parts	where	the	'amateur'	camcorder	footage	is	obviously	staged	,	heather's	apology	being	a	major	one	.	the	blair	witch	project	,	in	the	end	,	just	fails	to	deliver	.	i	suppose	if	you've	been	lost	camping	before	,	the	film	may	deliver	some	chills	,	but	this	is	no	use	for	the	other	99	of	the	paying	audience	who	haven't	been	lost	in	the	woods	.	apart	from	the	final	minutes	,	the	film	is	mind	boggingly	unscary	,	and	the	shouting	matches	get	hideously	dull	.	the	spook	scenes	are	short	and	far	between	,	and	any	other	horror	movie	could	probably	achieve	the	same	amount	of	fear	that	these	scenes	provide	.	although	a	good	idea	,	it's	not	executed	well	enough	to	be	a	fun	,	scary	cinema	experience	.	it's	a	worrying	fact	when	the	website	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	blairwitch	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	blairwitch	.	com	a	)	is	better	than	the	film	.
neg	if	someone	had	told	me	that	a	movie	starring	richard	gere	and	sharon	stone	as	a	married	couple	would	be	low	quality	,	boring	,	unsexy	,	and	incongruous	in	every	way	,	i'd	have	laughed	in	his	face	.	know	what	?	intersection	is	everything	i've	just	mentioned	.	gere	stars	as	vincent	eastman	,	a	successful	architect	who	runs	a	joint	business	with	wife	sherry	,	played	by	sharon	stone	.	vincent	is	absolutely	unhappy	with	his	life	and	marriage	,	as	he	tells	a	friend	,	"	we	weren't	a	family	.	we	were	a	corporation	with	a	daughter	.	"	it's	easy	to	see	why	vincent	would	want	to	leave	his	wife	for	another	woman	,	the	sensual	red	head	olivia	(	played	by	lolita	davidovich	)	.	he's	obviously	very	in	love	with	his	mistress	;	vincent	plans	to	build	a	new	home	for	them	,	get	married	,	and	have	children	soon	thereafter	.	a	terrific	beginning	.	a	wonderful	set	up	.	we	see	vincent	driving	along	a	slick	road	after	a	rain	storm	at	high	speed	,	letter	in	hand	,	smiling	.	what	about	?	without	giving	too	much	away	,	during	the	opening	moments	of	the	film	,	gere's	character	has	made	an	important	decision	regarding	what	he's	going	to	do	with	the	rest	of	his	life	.	he's	on	his	way	in	that	direction	when	he	slams	on	the	brakes	and	plows	into	three	different	cars	before	tumbling	his	own	vehicle	off	the	side	of	the	road	.	that's	the	story	.	that	and	that	only	.	what	fills	the	remaining	eighty	minutes	of	the	film	is	flashbacks	,	lots	of	them	.	we	see	gere	with	his	wife	at	home	and	in	the	office	.	we	see	gere	with	his	daughter	,	gere	with	work	associates	,	and	gere	with	his	mistress	.	flashbacks	and	flashbacks	.	flashbacks	intertwined	and	within	one	another	.	after	a	while	it's	difficult	to	tell	whether	or	not	anything	is	actually	happening	at	the	time	we	are	watching	,	in	the	present	.	and	it's	even	more	difficult	to	give	a	damn	.	this	is	one	hell	of	a	free	form	movie	.	that's	fine	,	if	that's	the	way	you	want	to	go	with	the	material	,	so	long	as	you	weed	out	the	unnecessary	from	the	.	.	.	well	,	in	the	case	of	this	film	.	.	.	not	so	unnecessary	.	give	it	all	some	meaning	,	at	least	.	that's	what	i	would	have	done	,	anyway	.	unfortunately	i	wasn't	in	charge	of	production	.	i	would	like	to	say	that	intersection	is	about	the	memories	of	a	dying	man	;	the	memories	of	him	and	the	woman	he	truly	loves	,	and	why	he	wants	to	be	with	her	and	her	alone	.	i	can't	say	it	.	even	when	we're	sure	he	loves	her	,	we	aren't	quite	positive	.	i'd	love	to	say	that	this	movie	will	entertain	you	in	some	fashion	,	but	i	can't	.	what	i	can	say	of	intersection	is	that	it	was	almost	a	complete	waste	of	my	time	.	anything	else	i	could	say	would	be	a	waste	of	yours	.
neg	simply	irresistible	tries	really	hard	to	recapture	the	feel	of	an	old	fashioned	romantic	fantasy	.	in	fact	,	it	tries	too	hard	.	the	film	wants	to	be	soft	,	cuddly	,	and	loveable	,	and	succeeds	only	in	being	incredibly	stupid	.	i'm	usually	kind	to	this	sort	of	film	,	especially	when	there	is	a	wonderfully	charming	lead	performance	such	as	sarah	michelle	gellar	delivers	here	.	unfortunately	,	her	performance	is	comppletely	wasted	since	the	film	does	not	provide	her	with	a	leading	man	that	is	a	tenth	as	interesting	as	she	is	.	gellar	stars	as	amanda	,	a	chef	at	her	small	family	restaraunt	that	is	going	out	of	business	.	one	reason	is	that	she	can't	cook	very	well	at	all	.	one	day	some	guy	gives	her	a	crab	(	i'm	not	making	this	up	)	,	and	all	of	a	sudden	crazy	things	begin	to	happen	such	as	her	food	actually	tasting	great	.	people	start	flocking	to	her	restaraunt	and	she	has	a	hard	time	keeping	up	with	all	the	customers	.	sean	patrick	flanery	is	an	upper	class	businessman	who	is	planning	on	opening	his	own	restaraunt	.	he	stops	by	amanda's	one	day	and	is	entranced	by	the	food	,	eventhough	his	girlfriend	breaks	up	with	him	at	the	same	time	.	amanda	is	instantly	attracted	to	him	and	they	begin	to	fall	for	one	another	.	this	is	helped	by	the	magic	of	the	food	,	which	creates	a	thick	vanilla	fog	,	and	has	them	floating	off	the	ground	.	flanery's	character	is	one	of	the	most	confusing	leading	men	in	a	romantic	comedy	in	quite	some	time	.	at	first	he	loves	the	fact	that	they	are	rolling	around	kissing	in	the	vanilla	fog	.	when	they	start	to	float	,	it's	too	much	for	him	.	he	claims	that	he	wants	to	be	in	control	of	his	own	destiny	,	and	refuses	to	be	with	her	alone	again	.	whenever	she	tries	to	get	near	him	,	he	shouts	at	her	and	calls	her	a	witch	,	like	he's	in	salem	or	something	.	what	the	hell	is	this	guy's	problem	?	who	wouldn't	want	to	roll	around	and	kiss	sarah	michelle	gellar	in	thick	vanilla	fog	?	who	wouldn't	want	to	be	holding	her	as	the	two	of	you	float	off	the	ground	?	it	doesn't	help	that	flanery	has	absolutely	zero	charisma	.	his	character	annoyed	me	so	much	at	times	i	had	to	look	away	from	the	screen	.	surprisingly	,	the	only	other	interesting	performance	comes	from	patricia	clarkson	,	as	flanery's	assistant	.	i	very	much	disliked	her	annoyingly	mannered	performance	in	high	art	.	but	here	she	strips	away	all	the	extra	baggage	and	allows	her	natural	personality	to	come	through	.	i	found	her	to	be	rather	charming	in	a	classy	,	sophisticated	way	.	clarkson	and	gellar	do	their	best	to	make	this	featherweight	film	palatable	,	but	they	receive	very	little	help	.	the	film	does	have	some	nice	photography	.	they	sure	got	the	look	of	a	old	fashioned	romance	right	.	but	the	most	important	thing	in	any	romance	is	chemistry	,	and	despite	gellar's	best	efforts	,	there	is	none	to	speak	of	.	other	than	some	nice	photography	and	two	fine	performances	,	simply	irresistible	offers	nothing	for	even	the	least	discriminating	of	viewers	.	larry	mcgillicuddy	the	cinemaniac	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	xoom	.	com	lmcgill	movpage	.	htm	"	http	:	members	.	xoom	.	com	lmcgill	movpage	.	htm	a
neg	warning	:	may	contain	slight	mild	spoilers	.	rated	:	r	for	intense	violence	gore	,	some	strong	sexuality	and	language	.	starring	:	arnold	schwarzeneggar	,	robin	tunney	,	rod	stieger	,	gabriel	byrne	.	we	go	into	a	movie	theater	,	boom	!	the	lights	go	down	,	our	hearts	race	,	we	go	through	ten	minutes	of	preview	and	finally	the	movie	we've	been	waiting	to	see	for	a	long	time	comes	on	.	we	sit	there	,	watch	in	disbelief	that	this	movie	is	as	bad	as	it	is	.	why	shouldn't	i	have	know	what	i	was	getting	myself	into	.	again	like	this	past	summers	hit	"	stigmata	"	,	"	end	of	days	"	may	be	worse	.	it's	not	like	this	is	any	kind	of	original	idea	,	it	just	throws	in	some	"	rosemary's	baby	"	,	along	with	"	the	devil's	advocate	"	a	little	"	exorcist	"	and	some	"	stigmata	"	here	and	there	.	whala	you	have	"	end	of	days	"	a	movie	that	is	extremely	disappointing	and	by	the	previews	made	it	look	terrific	.	sadly	but	truly	again	like	most	recent	films	,	all	the	good	parts	are	in	the	trailers	.	the	plot	which	is	very	confusing	at	times	is	also	very	ludicrous	and	the	movie	is	destined	to	be	a	hit	in	the	first	weekend	,	and	flop	in	the	next	.	jericho	cane	(	arnold	schwarzneggar	in	hit	typical	macho	role	)	is	a	cop	who	finds	out	that	he	is	chosen	to	track	down	satan	(	living	in	gabriel	byrnes	body	)	and	stop	him	from	impregnating	christine	york	(	robin	tunney	)	because	if	he	does	,	and	she	gives	birth	all	existence	as	we	know	it	will	cease	to	exist	.	he	has	to	do	this	before	it	turns	into	the	year	2000	,	and	strangely	he's	trying	to	fight	him	5	minutes	before	2000	comes	.	he	seeks	help	from	the	catholic	church	and	help	from	rod	stieger	(	in	a	terrific	role	)	and	tries	to	save	this	girl	leading	to	an	ending	that's	satisfying	,	but	turns	into	a	typical	action	movie	.	that's	pretty	much	it	on	plot	.	it	does	have	the	razzle	and	dazzle	of	a	great	action	movie	,	and	with	the	100m	dollar	budget	parts	seem	to	show	it	,	parts	you	have	to	wonder	where	all	the	money	went	.	as	for	arnie	?	good	role	,	ok	performance	.	i	think	since	he	is	getting	a	little	older	he	is	held	back	a	lot	of	his	stunts	.	the	thing	that	disappointed	me	was	the	fact	that	there	was	nothing	to	the	film	.	in	the	trailers	it	looks	like	a	good	scary	,	action	film	and	ends	up	being	a	boring	,	long	and	preposterous	drama	that	leads	into	something	else	that	leaves	us	with	questions	.	gabriel	byrnes	(	who	ironically	played	a	priest	in	"	stigmata	"	)	here	plays	satan	and	gives	a	good	performance	but	again	seems	held	back	and	not	into	his	character	.	two	years	back	al	pacino	gave	a	terrific	performance	in	the	fun	"	the	devil's	advocate	"	and	here	it	seems	like	the	idea	of	him	is	in	the	character	also	.	robin	tunney	(	great	performance	as	always	)	plays	satan's	main	person	whom	he	wants	to	impregnate	to	carry	his	child	.	of	course	rod	stieger	gives	another	great	performance	which	really	isn't	nothing	new	.	the	direction	by	peter	hyams	is	at	times	a	bit	overblown	,	though	not	nearly	as	the	visual	style	was	in	"	stigmata	"	.	here	we	are	given	great	camera	work	,	and	some	great	scenes	that	are	terrifically	directed	but	sadly	just	don't	work	in	this	movie	.	the	script	written	by	andrew	marlowe	has	a	few	witty	lines	,	but	again	the	movie	is	all	style	and	no	substance	and	by	the	ending	finale	climax	i	was	ready	to	go	home	.	only	a	few	things	work	here	and	those	are	a	few	of	the	performances	,	the	writing	and	visual	style	,	but	the	storyline	and	the	finished	product	don't	work	as	well	.	the	sad	thing	is	that	"	end	of	days	"	had	so	many	things	going	for	it	.	the	plot	could	have	been	more	organized	,	the	action	scenes	could	have	been	more	brainy	and	less	mind	numbing	.	at	times	it	seems	like	"	armageddon	"	and	started	to	get	old	and	tiresome	.	hollywood	is	running	out	of	ideas	bad	,	and	like	i've	always	said	before	needs	new	ones	.	even	with	its	100m	budget	"	end	of	days	"	is	less	than	pleasing	.	in	fact	the	100m	dollar	budget	is	at	least	30m	over	,	and	easily	could	have	had	a	70m	budget	.	maybe	i	sound	crazy	,	but	i	am	really	looking	forward	to	the	new	exorcist	film	,	and	hope	that	they	make	it	as	good	as	the	original	.	we	need	to	get	new	ideas	and	stop	recycling	old	ones	just	to	make	money	at	the	box	office	.	we	need	to	get	more	films	like	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	that	could	scare	people	to	death	,	while	people	thinking	well	what	exactly	is	scaring	them	and	how	do	i	know	that	it	is	in	fact	the	blair	witch	.	overblown	effects	,	stupid	and	thin	plot	line	,	good	performances	,	disappointing	.	.	.	.	umm	yup	those	pretty	much	describe	"	end	of	days	"	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	november	23	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
neg	i	know	there	were	times	during	this	movie	that	i	laughed	pretty	hard	.	the	problem	is	,	i	can't	remember	them	as	i	write	this	review	.	that's	not	a	good	sign	.	in	booty	call	,	jamie	foxx	is	bunz	,	a	character	whom	i	can't	really	describe	,	because	i	don't	know	that	much	about	him	.	i	only	know	that	he	likes	to	shoot	dice	on	the	sidewalk	,	and	that	he	doesn't	like	relationships	,	just	"	booty	calls	"	at	three	in	the	morning	(	no	questions	,	no	commitment	)	.	bunz	has	a	best	friend	named	rushon	(	tommy	davidson	)	,	who	seems	to	be	bunz's	direct	opposite	:	on	the	straight	and	narrow	,	and	currently	in	a	long	term	commitment	(	a	whole	seven	weeks	,	wow	!	)	.	rushon	wants	to	finally	sleep	with	his	girlfriend	,	nikki	(	tamala	jones	)	,	but	for	a	reason	which	is	not	totally	explained	,	it's	going	to	happen	after	a	double	date	with	bunz	and	nikki's	friend	lysterine	(	vivica	a	.	fox	)	,	who	have	never	met	.	to	make	a	long	story	short	,	the	two	couples	pair	off	and	spend	the	rest	of	the	evening	having	their	attempts	to	do	the	deed	spoiled	by	nikki's	obsession	with	safe	sex	.	first	she	wants	condoms	,	so	bunz	and	rushon	go	out	and	get	them	.	oh	,	no	,	they	have	to	be	latex	,	not	lambskin	.	back	to	the	store	.	now	they've	got	to	get	dental	dams	,	or	there'll	be	no	foreplay	.	why	are	both	couples	stopped	each	time	nikki	makes	a	demand	?	nikki	phones	lysterine	,	who	lives	across	the	hall	,	and	tells	her	she'd	better	be	making	these	demands	,	too	.	talk	about	coitus	interruptus	.	booty	call	is	a	film	that	does	not	know	whether	it	wants	to	be	a	regular	comedy	or	one	of	those	over	the	top	comedies	.	the	difference	between	the	two	is	that	in	the	latter	,	things	constantly	happen	which	are	so	far	removed	from	reality	.	in	this	category	,	for	example	,	you	have	ace	ventura	:	private	eye	on	the	mild	side	,	and	airplane	!	at	the	extreme	.	there	are	times	during	booty	call	where	the	film	steps	out	of	its	shell	and	tries	for	this	status	,	but	then	too	often	quickly	retreats	to	the	safety	of	convention	.	it	is	disappointing	,	and	even	worse	,	distracting	.	there	are	also	instances	where	the	screenplay	by	takashi	bufford	and	bootsie	parker	(	are	those	real	names	?	)	does	not	live	up	to	its	potential	,	as	jokes	are	left	unexploited	or	even	ruined	by	bad	writing	.	for	instance	,	there	is	a	scene	where	our	main	characters	are	in	a	chinese	restaurant	.	bunz	goes	up	to	an	asian	gangster	and	speaks	to	him	in	fluent	cantonese	,	much	to	everyone's	surprise	.	however	,	when	asked	how	he	learned	the	language	,	he	goes	into	this	explanation	of	how	he	started	picking	up	words	from	late	night	kung	fu	films	,	and	soon	gained	mastery	.	this	negated	the	ludicrousness	of	the	entire	scene	.	if	,	on	the	other	hand	,	when	asked	how	he	learned	to	speak	chinese	,	bunz	simply	replied	with	,	"	kung	fu	movies	,	"	and	then	moved	on	,	the	joke	would	have	been	much	more	effective	.	this	is	because	it	would	have	been	totally	unbelievable	,	but	funny	because	we	know	it	is	unbelievable	.	by	explaining	the	point	and	trying	to	make	the	ridiculous	plausible	,	the	film	is	not	giving	its	viewers	enough	credit	.	the	inconsistency	and	uncertain	believability	unfortunately	also	raise	other	questions	.	why	are	two	such	disparate	people	like	bunz	and	rushon	best	friends	?	why	do	rushon	and	nikki	fix	up	bunz	and	lysterine	?	if	nikki	is	so	obsessed	with	safe	sex	,	why	doesn't	she	have	some	condoms	at	her	own	apartment	?	these	questions	are	not	answered	by	the	screenplay	,	but	are	overlooked	for	the	sole	reason	of	moving	the	plot	forward	.	a	very	noticeable	quality	of	booty	call	is	the	prevalence	of	unnecessary	foul	language	.	some	movies	use	a	lot	of	swear	words	,	but	use	them	under	very	justifiable	circumstances	,	as	when	they	are	employed	consistent	with	a	character's	pattern	of	speech	.	other	films	,	such	as	the	recent	jackie	brown	,	use	them	in	ways	that	almost	parody	themselves	.	booty	call	just	sticks	them	in	to	get	laughs	,	and	it	doesn't	work	.	they	stick	out	like	sore	thumbs	because	there	is	almost	no	reason	to	use	them	.	half	of	the	scenes	seem	to	occur	for	no	reason	.	the	chinese	restaurant	,	a	holdup	at	a	convenience	store	,	and	a	trip	to	the	hospital	seem	to	have	nothing	to	do	with	the	story	,	and	are	in	there	for	filler	.	this	is	surprising	,	considering	that	the	film	is	less	than	eighty	minutes	long	.	it's	too	bad	that	the	core	of	the	film	isn't	much	better	,	since	it	is	comprised	of	sometimes	funny	,	but	forgettable	dialog	.	i	refer	you	to	the	first	paragraph	of	this	review	.
neg	and	now	the	high	flying	hong	kong	style	of	filmmaking	has	made	its	way	down	to	the	classics	,	and	it	isn't	pretty	.	this	time	out	the	nod	to	asia	goes	by	way	of	france	in	the	excruciating	bland	and	lukewarm	production	of	the	musketeer	,	a	version	of	dumas's	the	three	musketeers	.	by	bringing	in	popular	asian	actor	stunt	coordinator	xing	xing	xiong	whose	only	prior	american	attempts	at	stunt	choreography	have	been	the	laughable	van	damme	vehicle	double	team	and	the	dennis	rodman	cinematic	joke	simon	sez	our	musketeers	are	thrown	into	the	air	to	do	their	fighting	.	the	end	result	is	a	tepid	and	dull	action	adventure	rip	off	that	stinks	of	indiana	jones	and	bad	asian	kung	fu	.	the	story	is	so	simple	my	grandmother	could	have	adapted	the	screenplay	.	d'artagnan	(	justin	chambers	)	is	the	vengeful	son	of	a	slain	musketeer	.	he	travels	to	paris	to	join	the	royal	musketeers	and	find	the	man	that	killed	his	parents	.	in	paris	,	he	meets	the	cunning	cardinal	richelieu	(	stephen	rea	)	,	who	is	trying	to	overthrow	the	king	,	and	richelieu's	man	in	black	associate	febre	(	tim	roth	)	,	the	killer	of	his	folks	.	he	finds	the	musketeers	in	paris	disbanded	and	drunk	,	so	he	rounds	up	aramis	(	nick	moran	)	,	athos	(	jan	gregor	kremp	)	and	porthos	(	steven	spiers	)	to	free	the	musketeer's	wrongfully	imprisoned	leader	treville	from	the	king's	prison	.	d'artagnan	and	his	new	frisky	love	interest	chambermaid	francesca	(	mena	suvari	)	play	footsy	and	coo	at	each	other	as	the	cardinal	hunts	down	the	musketeers	until	finally	the	queen	(	catherine	deneuve	)	ends	up	being	captured	by	the	menancing	febre	,	forcing	the	musketeers	to	regroup	,	with	d'artagnan	leading	the	charge	,	and	save	the	day	.	director	peter	hyams	(	end	of	days	)	obviously	wanted	to	blend	eastern	and	western	filmmaking	styles	,	but	here	it's	a	disaster	.	one	problem	is	that	,	in	reality	,	most	eastern	films	have	taken	their	lead	from	western	ones	.	jet	li's	high	risk	is	a	rip	off	of	die	hard	not	the	other	way	around	.	ironically	,	there	is	awfully	little	swordplay	or	action	in	the	film	at	all	maybe	ten	minutes	of	swashbuckling	spread	over	five	scenes	.	most	asian	action	films	carry	the	bulk	of	their	production	with	20	to	30	minute	action	sequences	,	because	they	know	the	scenes	have	to	carry	the	picture	.	the	musketeer	instead	weighs	itself	down	with	a	predictable	and	monotonous	screenplay	by	gene	quintano	(	sudden	death	)	,	horrible	acting	by	stephen	rea	and	tim	roth	,	and	the	prosaic	attempt	of	justin	chambers	(	the	wedding	planner	)	to	deliver	his	mousy	self	as	a	leader	.	chambers'	d'artangnan	isn't	a	musketeer	he's	a	mouseketeer	!	and	hyam's	use	of	candles	and	torches	to	light	the	grime	and	filth	of	17th	century	paris	are	well	noted	,	but	that's	the	only	standout	in	an	overall	flat	production	.
neg	talk	about	a	movie	that	seemed	dated	before	it	even	hit	the	theaters	!	spice	world	is	the	feature	film	debut	of	the	pre	fabricated	pop	band	,	the	spice	girls	.	it's	intended	as	a	sort	of	hard	day's	night	,	but	ends	up	simply	hard	to	watch	.	when	watching	the	spice	girls	,	i'm	reminded	of	an	old	saturday	morning	cartoon	trick	(	such	as	from	the	smurfs	,	the	snorks	,	or	teenage	mutant	ninja	turtles	)	in	which	identically	animated	creatures	are	differentiated	into	characters	merely	by	one	personality	quirk	and	a	different	name	.	the	spice	girls	are	themselves	as	interchangable	as	pringles	,	and	about	as	talented	.	there's	ginger	(	geri	halliwell	)	,	the	brainy	one	,	sporty	(	melanie	chisholm	)	,	the	athletic	one	,	baby	(	emma	bunton	)	,	the	childish	one	,	posh	(	victoria	adams	)	,	the	fashion	conscious	one	,	and	scary	(	melanie	brown	)	,	the	one	with	a	tongue	pierced	back	so	far	you're	almost	certain	the	post	sticks	out	her	throat	.	the	film	itself	doesn't	really	have	a	plot	.	it	follows	the	girls	as	they	travel	here	and	there	,	culminating	at	their	"	first	live	performance	"	at	albert	hall	.	the	action	,	however	,	seems	more	like	a	hodgepodge	of	mismatched	ideas	.	the	various	misfires	include	:	an	alien	encounter	,	a	fiendish	tabloid	editor	scheming	to	wreck	the	spice	girls	,	the	shooting	of	a	spice	girls	documentary	,	a	movie	producer	(	george	wendt	)	trying	to	pitch	various	ideas	for	a	spice	girls	movie	(	nearly	all	of	which	,	though	incredibly	far	fetched	,	seem	more	plausible	than	the	mess	with	which	they	ended	up	)	,	a	meeting	with	a	pregnant	friend	(	whose	sole	purpose	seems	to	be	to	maintain	the	film	maxim	that	all	pregnant	characters	must	give	birth	before	the	movie	ends	)	,	a	boating	adventure	,	a	bus	race	,	club	hopping	(	wherein	apparently	no	one	notices	the	famous	spice	girls	among	the	crowd	.	.	.	even	when	they	start	to	sing	)	,	and	an	assorted	number	of	musical	performances	,	press	conferences	,	and	general	all	around	celebrity	stuff	.	whew	.	for	some	reason	,	the	film	is	littered	with	star	cameos	.	from	elton	john	to	elvis	costello	,	from	bob	hoskins	to	meat	loaf	.	heck	,	even	roger	moore	shows	up	,	though	he	can't	decide	if	he's	parodying	himself	as	james	bond	,	or	if	he's	lobbying	to	be	the	reincarnation	of	ernst	stavro	blofeld	.	richard	e	.	grant	has	the	largest	secondary	part	,	a	thankless	role	of	the	band's	manager	,	clifford	.	the	celebrity	spotting	is	partially	amusing	,	and	a	decent	way	to	pass	the	time	when	confronted	with	the	rest	of	the	film	.	neither	amusing	or	spontaneous	,	when	the	spice	girls	are	between	songs	they	are	deadly	boring	.	their	songs	are	alright	,	but	they	play	like	lifeless	adaptations	of	the	music	videos	.	my	advice	to	fans	is	:	stay	home	and	watch	that	video	collection	,	or	at	least	spin	that	cd	a	couple	of	more	times	.	.	.	either	option	will	be	more	enjoyable	than	the	film	.	non	fans	should	know	to	stay	well	away	from	this	one	.
neg	capsule	:	potentially	interesting	story	rendered	dull	and	coldly	distant	by	david	lynch's	perpetually	smug	and	alienating	style	.	there	are	better	ways	to	be	conned	.	watching	lost	highway	,	i	kept	thinking	about	a	picture	puzzle	that	you	spend	a	week	trying	to	solve	,	only	to	discover	half	the	pieces	are	missing	.	i	felt	conned	;	i'd	lost	two	and	a	half	hours	of	my	life	over	a	movie	that	added	up	to	exactly	nothing	.	everything	in	lost	highway	cancels	itself	out	.	there	are	people	who	have	argued	this	point	with	me	at	length	,	insisting	that	was	what	the	movie	was	about	.	i	disagree	,	because	lost	highway	doesn't	even	bother	to	enlist	our	attention	long	enough	to	be	about	anything	.	it	is	a	self	important	and	boring	film	that	builds	in	its	own	excuses	for	being	and	never	tells	us	what	they	are	.	the	story	actually	has	an	intriguing	presence	.	a	jazz	musician	(	bill	pullman	)	and	his	wife	receive	a	series	of	videotapes	in	the	mail	.	someone	is	walking	around	filming	their	house	.	then	the	stranger	gets	bolder	and	starts	filming	the	inside	of	the	house	as	well	.	eventually	,	the	tapes	show	pullman	having	murdered	his	wife	and	sure	enough	,	guess	what's	happened	.	pullman	is	sent	to	prison	,	but	while	awaiting	execution	,	he	has	a	series	of	bizarre	lynchian	experiences	in	his	cell	and	morphs	into	someone	else	(	balthazar	getty	)	,	a	young	punk	.	nobody	can	explain	it	,	but	they	have	to	let	him	go	.	that	doesn't	mean	they	can't	keep	an	eye	on	him	,	of	course	.	as	i	said	,	all	of	this	is	potentially	interesting	.	not	in	lynch's	hands	.	everything	i	described	is	stretched	out	to	fill	the	entire	first	hour	of	the	movie	,	which	slithers	by	so	slowly	and	lingers	on	every	insignificant	gesture	so	painfully	that	by	the	time	we	get	to	the	change	over	,	all	interest	in	the	goings	on	has	been	buried	.	the	actors	are	not	bad	in	their	roles	they're	just	made	into	zombies	.	i	was	reminded	of	the	way	robert	bresson	the	french	director	with	an	almost	paranoid	loathing	of	actors	attempting	to	supersede	the	director's	vision	who	made	his	actors	repeat	scenes	until	they	simply	did	them	with	mechanical	precision	and	no	attempt	at	personification	.	except	that	bresson	had	a	larger	vision	to	communicate	.	lynch	has	nothing	that	we	can	discern	,	save	the	urge	to	be	artfully	bizarre	.	the	other	day	i	saw	begotten	,	a	movie	with	no	dialogue	and	no	real	storyline	that	succeeded	excellently	in	being	enthralling	.	why	did	that	work	and	lost	highway	fail	?	probably	because	begotten	was	purer	and	not	beholden	to	anything	remotely	familiar	.	lost	highway	is	so	obviously	david	lynch	indulging	himself	to	no	good	end	that	we're	alienated	and	fed	up	in	short	order	.	david	lynch	has	made	two	,	possibly	three	films	that	i	enjoyed	:	eraserhead	,	which	was	probably	the	best	showcase	for	his	homegrown	surreal	nightmares	;	blue	velvet	,	which	actually	set	up	a	story	in	the	midst	of	his	pretentions	,	and	the	elephant	man	,	which	made	the	most	sense	and	was	the	most	human	.	everything	since	,	and	no	doubt	from	now	on	,	has	proven	to	be	a	waste	of	time	,	and	to	be	honest	i'm	not	one	to	mourn	.
neg	steve	martin	is	one	of	the	funniest	men	alive	.	if	you	can	take	that	as	a	true	statement	,	then	your	disappointment	at	this	film	will	equal	mine	.	martin	can	be	hilarious	,	creating	some	of	the	best	laugh	out	loud	experiences	that	have	ever	taken	place	in	movie	theaters	.	you	won't	find	any	of	them	here	.	the	old	television	series	that	this	is	based	on	has	its	moments	of	humor	and	wit	.	bilko	(	and	the	name	isn't	an	accident	)	is	the	head	of	an	army	motor	pool	group	,	but	his	passion	is	his	schemes	.	every	episode	involves	the	sergeant	and	his	men	in	one	or	another	hair	brained	plan	to	get	rich	quick	while	outwitting	the	officers	of	the	base	.	"	mchale's	navy	"	's	granddaddy	.	that's	the	idea	behind	this	movie	too	,	but	the	difference	is	that	,	as	far	fetched	and	usually	goofy	as	the	television	series	was	,	it	was	funny	.	there	is	not	one	laugh	in	the	film	.	the	re	make	retains	the	goofiness	,	but	not	the	entertainment	.	everything	is	just	too	clean	.	it	was	obviously	made	on	a	hollywood	back	lot	and	looks	every	bit	like	it	.	it	all	looks	brand	new	,	even	the	old	beat	up	stuff	.	martin	is	remarkably	small	in	what	should	have	been	a	bigger	than	life	role	.	in	the	original	,	phil	silvers	played	the	huckster	with	a	heart	of	gold	and	more	than	a	touch	of	sleaziness	.	martin's	bilko	is	a	pale	imitation	.	the	only	semi	bright	spot	is	phil	hartman	as	bilko's	arch	enemy	.	it's	not	saying	much	,	considering	martin's	lackluster	character	,	but	hartman	leaves	him	in	the	dust	.	this	appeared	in	the	4	4	96	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	writer	director	:	mark	christopher	starring	:	ryan	phllippe	,	salma	hayek	,	breckin	meyer	,	mike	myers	,	neve	campbell	,	sela	ward	,	heather	matarazzo	,	sherry	stringfield	,	ellen	albertini	dow	,	lauren	hutton	,	michael	york	,	jared	haris	,	art	garfunkel	,	peter	bogdonovich	studio	54	attracted	so	many	weird	and	bizarre	people	to	its	gates	that	it's	a	wonder	why	the	film	about	the	life	and	death	of	the	studio	centers	itself	on	one	very	boring	,	cliched	individual	,	not	to	mention	an	ensemble	of	people	who	wouldn't	be	at	all	fascinating	unless	they	worked	at	the	studio	,	which	they	did	according	to	this	film	.	are	we	supposed	to	believe	that	out	of	all	the	strange	folk	who	populated	the	studio	nightly	,	that	a	character	who	is	a	bland	ripoff	of	tony	manero	would	really	make	a	good	protagonist	for	the	film	about	it	?	"	54	"	belongs	in	the	elite	group	of	films	known	as	"	the	big	disappointments	"	:	the	films	that	attain	so	much	hype	and	or	so	much	potential	in	its	creation	that	they	come	off	worse	than	they	are	when	they	are	finally	finished	.	i	was	heavily	awaiting	"	54	,	"	not	the	least	because	i've	become	fascinated	with	the	infamous	club	,	which	has	been	the	subject	of	an	engrossing	documentary	that's	been	running	all	summer	on	vh1	,	which	is	,	weirdly	enough	,	much	more	intriguing	and	engrossing	than	this	"	edgy	"	film	.	perhaps	more	importantly	,	"	54	"	is	part	of	the	blossoming	subgenre	,	"	the	70s	nostalgia	film	,	"	which	has	been	picking	up	mighty	steam	,	what	with	"	boogie	nights	"	and	"	the	last	days	of	disco	"	coming	out	within	the	year	,	and	both	being	such	damn	good	movies	that	not	only	captured	the	feel	of	a	certain	time	period	(	the	late	70s	party	and	the	early	80s	wakeup	period	)	,	but	brought	us	interesting	and	real	characters	,	like	scotty	,	the	tragically	gay	boom	mike	operator	from	"	boogie	nights	,	"	and	charlotte	,	the	ironically	clueless	and	bitchy	co	protagonist	from	"	the	last	days	of	disco	,	"	not	to	mention	several	others	.	"	54	"	deals	not	so	much	with	the	timeline	of	the	studio	(	how	it	began	,	how	it	was	run	,	how	it	ended	)	that's	all	dealt	with	in	the	narrated	opening	and	finale	but	more	interested	in	the	characters	who	populated	it	.	this	is	a	definite	plus	.	here's	a	film	that	could	have	been	a	fascinating	2	hour	plus	film	about	the	tragic	people	who	went	there	to	party	,	and	had	to	wakeup	in	the	80s	when	things	like	diseases	,	economy	problems	,	and	perhaps	worst	of	all	,	reagan	,	all	hit	and	forced	everyone	into	a	rude	awakening	.	the	story	of	the	studio	is	tragedy	in	itself	:	let's	look	at	how	it	all	affected	the	people	.	but	this	film	doesn't	let	that	happen	.	it	gives	us	a	half	assed	protagonist	named	shane	o'shea	(	ryan	phillippe	,	from	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	)	,	who's	chief	character	trait	is	the	fact	that	he's	from	new	jersey	,	which	also	happens	to	be	his	chief	character	flaw	(	i	guess	)	.	he's	dim	witted	,	into	being	part	of	"	the	scene	,	"	and	soon	finds	he's	become	a	bit	of	a	rave	amongst	the	studio	regulars	.	.	.	a	bit	like	"	saturday	night	fever	,	"	'cept	no	travolta	and	no	real	interest	put	into	him	.	poor	,	poor	phillippe	struggles	to	make	him	interesting	,	but	all	he	is	a	half	assed	character	and	not	at	all	our	ticket	to	the	glimpse	of	the	decadence	going	on	inside	the	club	that	he	could	have	been	.	shane	begins	to	hang	out	with	some	other	denizens	of	the	club	,	like	anita	(	salma	hayek	)	,	a	wannabe	donna	sommers	,	and	her	young	hubby	,	greg	randanzo	(	breckin	meyer	,	from	"	clueless	"	)	,	who	helps	shane	become	a	bartender	and	rise	to	a	bit	of	fame	.	although	he	begins	to	get	somewhere	when	he	sleeps	with	the	foxy	billie	auster	(	sela	ward	)	,	an	exec	of	sorts	,	he	falls	in	lust	with	a	soap	star	named	julie	black	(	neve	campbell	)	,	and	thus	the	boring	romance	subplot	that's	all	too	not	necessarily	important	to	anything	else	in	the	film	and	never	really	becomes	interesting	at	any	point	in	the	film	.	the	film's	sole	point	of	interest	and	one	major	strongpoint	is	the	all	too	necesary	personage	of	steve	rubell	,	played	by	mike	myers	(	you	heard	me	)	.	rubell	,	the	famous	head	of	the	studio	acted	as	if	he	never	stopped	partying	ever	,	and	is	an	easy	metaphor	for	the	life	and	times	of	his	creation	,	but	the	film	,	thanks	to	a	surprisingly	strong	performance	by	myers	,	makes	him	out	to	be	more	than	that	.	notice	the	scenes	sole	shocking	scene	,	where	he	tries	to	get	felatio	from	one	of	his	male	employees	in	turn	for	a	promotion	:	myers	brings	the	humanity	to	rubell	in	this	scene	,	and	a	couple	others	,	that	some	of	us	who've	only	seen	him	on	tv	never	saw	,	and	proves	to	be	perhaps	the	one	aspect	of	studio	54	that	this	film	actually	nails	.	first	time	feature	director	mark	christopher	proves	that	he's	a	better	director	than	a	writer	,	though	not	too	terribly	much	.	his	story	is	trite	and	shallow	,	as	are	his	characters	,	and	his	direction	is	shockingly	flat	,	especially	for	a	film	about	this	subject	.	it's	as	if	he	had	a	great	story	to	tell	,	but	instead	opted	for	the	easier	route	.	the	studio's	recreation	is	amazingly	accurate	,	though	,	and	very	impressive	,	but	his	direction	is	never	captivating	enough	.	some	people	say	that	a	film	does	its	job	if	it	makes	you	want	to	visit	the	locale	it	takes	place	in	(	despite	the	film's	tone	,	i	still	want	to	go	to	rome	and	its	many	nightclubs	after	i	saw	fellini's	"	la	dolce	vita	"	)	,	and	when	i	watched	"	54	,	"	i	didn't	particularly	want	to	stay	.
neg	united	states	,	1998	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	4	10	98	(	limited	)	running	length	:	1	:	36	mpaa	classification	:	r	(	frequent	profanity	,	sexual	situations	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	1	.	85	:	1	cast	:	edward	burns	,	lauren	holly	,	jon	bon	jovi	,	blythe	danner	,	connie	britton	,	jennifer	esposito	,	nick	sandow	director	:	edward	burns	producers	:	ted	hope	,	michael	nozik	,	edward	burns	screenplay	:	edward	burns	cinematography	:	frank	prinzi	music	:	john	delia	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	gramercy	pictures	the	working	title	for	no	looking	back	was	long	time	,	nothing	new	,	and	rarely	has	there	been	a	more	apt	name	for	a	motion	picture	.	even	though	this	movie	clocks	in	at	a	relatively	skinny	96	minutes	,	it	seems	to	run	long	enough	to	engulf	two	titanics	.	writer	director	edward	burns	has	trotted	out	a	hackneyed	storyline	,	the	trajectory	of	which	will	be	instantly	recognizable	to	anyone	who	hasn't	spent	their	life	in	seclusion	.	instead	of	tweaking	the	formula	a	little	to	invigorate	the	proceedings	,	burns	is	content	to	allow	the	film	to	ramble	aimlessly	towards	its	irritatingly	predictable	conclusion	,	offering	precious	few	momentary	pleasures	along	the	way	.	no	looking	back	is	dominated	by	three	very	dislikable	characters	whose	constant	presence	on	the	screen	is	painful	.	the	most	appropriate	ending	would	have	been	a	triple	suicide	,	and	the	sooner	,	the	better	.	alas	,	that's	not	the	case	,	and	those	who	stick	with	this	film	for	its	entire	length	will	be	forced	to	endure	the	prolonged	company	of	this	wretched	trio	.	and	,	to	further	depress	audiences	,	burns	has	shot	the	entire	film	on	cold	,	rainy	days	in	a	gray	new	york	state	beach	town	.	peeks	of	sunshine	are	few	and	far	between	.	no	wonder	the	characters	are	all	so	miserable	.	first	of	all	,	we	have	charlie	(	burns	)	,	a	generation	x	slacker	who	abandoned	his	girlfriend	three	years	ago	after	she	had	an	abortion	,	then	spent	some	time	bumming	around	in	california	before	deciding	to	come	home	.	that	girlfriend	is	claudia	(	lauren	holly	)	,	and	,	after	picking	up	the	pieces	of	her	life	following	charlie's	departure	,	she	has	moved	on	,	shacking	up	with	one	of	charlie's	old	school	buddies	,	mike	(	jon	bon	jovi	)	.	the	two	have	a	comfortable	relationship	,	but	it's	apparent	to	even	a	blind	person	that	they're	not	right	for	each	other	.	claudia	years	for	some	spice	in	her	life	;	mike	wants	to	settle	down	and	have	children	.	then	charlie	re	enters	the	mix	.	so	who	,	if	anyone	,	will	claudia	end	up	with	?	who	cares	?	?	no	looking	back	goes	to	extraordinary	lengths	to	make	sure	that	we're	not	especially	interested	in	the	outcome	of	the	romantic	triangle	.	so	what	if	no	one	finds	happiness	these	characters	don't	deserve	it	anyway	,	especially	after	wasting	90	minutes	of	our	time	.	they	aren't	real	people	they're	a	writer's	construct	stumbling	through	a	too	obvious	storyline	.	they	should	know	the	ending	as	well	as	we	do	.	and	burns	should	have	given	his	audience	more	credit	and	presented	them	with	a	plot	that	at	least	offered	a	surprise	or	two	.	another	frustrating	thing	about	no	looking	back	is	that	burns	has	populated	the	film	with	a	group	of	potentially	interesting	supporting	characters	.	blythe	danner	is	solid	as	claudia's	housebound	mother	,	connie	britton	is	suitably	high	strung	as	claudia's	neurotic	sister	,	and	jennifer	esposito	is	eye	catching	as	a	bartender	in	search	of	a	little	romance	.	sadly	,	all	we	get	is	quick	glimpses	into	their	lives	,	although	a	movie	about	any	of	them	would	have	been	far	more	intriguing	than	the	story	burns	has	chosen	to	tell	.	none	of	the	lead	performers	are	going	to	wow	critics	with	their	thespian	attributes	.	edward	burns	is	pushing	the	edge	of	his	limited	range	here	.	jon	bon	jovi	shows	more	acting	ability	than	one	might	reasonably	expect	from	a	singer	branching	into	a	different	career	,	but	he	could	still	use	a	little	polish	.	the	worst	case	is	lauren	holly	,	who	presents	a	completely	bland	claudia	.	as	portrayed	here	,	she's	hardly	the	kind	of	woman	who	would	inspire	even	a	moment's	interest	,	not	to	mention	undying	love	.	burns'	ex	,	the	monumentally	untalented	maxine	bahns	,	would	have	been	hard	pressed	to	do	a	less	inspired	job	.	when	he	released	the	brothers	mcmullen	,	edward	burns	was	revered	as	the	wunderkind	of	the	1995	sundance	film	festival	(	robert	redford	has	apparently	stuck	with	him	the	aging	actor	director	executive	produced	this	mess	)	.	two	films	and	three	short	years	later	,	the	luster	has	faded	.	some	movie	makers	have	only	one	good	film	in	them	.	with	back	to	back	duds	like	she's	the	one	and	no	looking	back	to	follow	the	delightful	brothers	,	burns	is	beginning	to	look	like	a	member	of	that	undistinguished	club	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	i	heard	actor	skeet	ulrich	discussing	this	film	in	a	couple	of	interviews	,	and	in	both	instances	,	he	felt	the	strange	compulsion	to	compare	it	a	little	series	of	films	called	lethal	weapon	.	now	,	i	personally	remember	those	films	as	a	)	starring	a	major	motion	picture	star	b	)	being	funny	c	)	having	great	action	sequences	d	)	great	chemistry	e	)	decent	character	development	.	hmmm	.	.	.	.	okay	.	.	.	now	on	to	my	review	of	chill	factor	.	plot	:	a	graveyard	shift	regular	working	joe	and	ice	cream	truck	driver	fall	onto	a	malicious	plan	by	an	ex	army	general	,	to	propose	a	nuclear	device	to	international	prospects	.	when	the	device	suddenly	falls	into	their	reluctant	laps	,	they	must	keep	it	cool	on	ice	,	and	rush	it	over	to	an	army	base	,	before	the	contraption	ticks	over	50	degrees	fahrenheit	,	and	kills	millions	of	people	.	critique	:	"	speed	on	an	ice	cream	truck	"	is	probably	the	pitch	that	was	used	to	sell	this	one	tone	movie	to	its	backers	,	but	unfortunately	,	the	only	way	that	anyone	could	compare	this	film	to	that	tension	filled	,	original	two	hours	of	cinema	,	is	in	its	distinct	honor	of	being	the	complete	opposite	of	what	that	film	,	and	the	lethal	weapon	movies	,	stood	for	.	this	film	is	seasoned	in	cliches	,	with	plenty	of	badly	written	dialogue	,	over	the	top	acting	from	cuba	gooding	jr	.	,	zero	chemistry	between	the	two	leads	,	and	horribly	tacky	bad	guys	,	tossed	in	to	complete	an	overall	bad	movie	recipe	.	my	friend	and	i	enjoyed	watching	this	movie	to	a	certain	extent	,	because	some	of	the	lines	in	it	were	so	bad	and	obviously	"	written	"	,	that	we	just	had	to	crack	up	.	that	,	and	the	formula	for	the	film's	script	which	followed	the	proverbial	1	2	,	and	you	guessed	it	.	.	.	3	scenario	!	and	what	about	all	those	catchy	,	hip	names	to	get	us	to	relate	to	the	characters	.	.	.	.	"	elvis	"	and	"	nighshift	"	,	oh	what	talent	lies	in	the	minds	of	these	screenwriters	(	and	yes	,	it	actually	took	two	guys	to	come	up	with	this	regurgitated	drivel	)	.	it	is	unfathomable	to	me	as	to	how	actors	skeet	ulrich	and	cuba	gooding	jr	.	got	involved	in	this	one	week	old	blue	cheese	smelling	project	.	did	they	actually	think	that	it	would	boost	their	careers	,	or	did	they	know	that	the	script	sucked	,	but	discounted	any	fall	from	grace	,	knowing	full	well	that	the	stack	of	cash	in	their	back	pockets	would	pad	their	fall	?	most	probably	the	latter	.	have	you	seen	either	fled	or	bulletproof	?	well	,	despite	the	slight	differences	in	plot	,	the	essentials	are	basically	the	same	here	.	you	get	a	black	guy	and	a	white	guy	being	chased	by	a	bunch	of	people	,	having	no	choice	but	to	work	together	to	get	somewhere	,	hating	each	other	at	first	,	but	over	time	,	learning	to	respect	one	another	as	individuals	.	yawn	.	add	to	that	,	the	fact	that	our	film	actually	has	bad	guys	who	are	all	dressed	in	black	,	drive	black	cars	and	black	vans	,	and	run	around	with	all	kinds	of	telecommunicative	devices	sprinkled	around	their	head	.	not	too	conspicuous	,	eh	?	call	me	a	party	pooper	,	but	as	much	as	i	like	a	nice	cheezy	movie	as	much	as	the	next	guy	,	this	film	just	doesn't	even	try	to	do	anything	original	or	reasonably	entertaining	.	one	cool	scene	with	a	boat	careening	down	a	mountainside	,	and	another	with	a	nuclear	device	obliterating	everything	on	an	island	,	do	not	a	fun	,	buddy	action	flick	make	.
neg	american	pie	2	(	2001	)	1	1	2	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	jason	biggs	,	chris	klein	,	shannon	elizabeth	,	alyson	hannigan	,	natasha	lyonne	,	thomas	ian	nicholas	,	chris	own	,	tara	reid	,	seann	william	scott	,	mena	suvari	,	eddie	kaye	thomas	and	eugene	levy	.	story	by	david	h	.	steinberg	and	adam	herz	.	screenplay	by	adam	herz	.	directed	by	j	.	b	.	rogers	.	rated	r	.	approx	.	115	minutes	.	american	pie	2	is	filled	with	laughs	.	but	they	are	mostly	cheap	ones	built	primarily	upon	sexual	degradation	and	adolescent	humor	more	fit	for	a	locker	room	than	a	movie	theater	.	i'm	no	prude	and	i	admit	to	laughing	along	with	everyone	else	at	the	preview	screening	to	this	sequel	to	the	1999	hit	comedy	.	but	the	laughs	are	built	on	discomfort	and	embarrassment	,	not	on	any	intrinsic	humor	from	within	the	story	itself	.	what	separates	american	pie	2	from	its	predecessor	is	heart	.	of	the	original	,	i	noted	it	was	"	a	warm	,	pleasant	outing	about	the	travails	of	growing	up	.	"	well	,	the	quartet	of	chums	jim	(	jason	biggs	)	,	oz	(	chris	klein	)	,	kevin	(	thomas	ian	nicholas	)	and	finch	(	eddie	kaye	thomas	)	have	grown	up	.	at	least	they	are	a	year	older	,	but	don't	seem	any	wiser	.	fresh	from	their	first	year	of	college	the	quartet	,	along	with	the	obnoxious	stifler	(	seann	william	scott	)	,	rent	a	summer	house	by	the	lake	in	order	to	attract	girls	in	an	attempt	to	score	.	as	usual	nothing	goes	right	until	the	last	reel	.	but	what	we	are	left	with	is	five	guys	spending	nearly	two	hours	drooling	over	various	young	women	.	and	american	pie	2	is	rather	degrading	to	women	.	for	the	most	part	,	they	are	not	shown	as	individuals	.	they	are	nothing	more	than	potential	recipients	of	over	active	,	raging	hormones	.	it	is	telling	that	the	most	normal	couple	,	oz	and	heather	(	mena	suvari	)	spend	the	bulk	of	the	film	trying	to	have	phone	sex	she's	overseas	on	an	exchange	student	program	.	despite	having	been	to	college	,	jim	is	still	klutzy	and	awkward	,	unsure	of	himself	around	the	opposite	sex	.	most	of	the	pratfalls	and	humiliations	are	heaped	upon	him	,	including	a	painful	episode	involving	an	instant	glue	like	substance	.	also	uncomfortable	to	watch	is	a	sequence	involving	three	of	the	lads	with	two	young	women	roommates	,	whom	the	boys	suspect	of	being	lesbians	.	it	is	offensive	and	plays	upon	outdated	,	adolescent	stereotypes	to	generate	laughs	.	the	first	film	,	despite	some	raunchy	moments	,	had	an	innocent	charm	to	it	.	the	sequel	is	more	cynical	.	it	knows	what	its	predominantly	male	audience	members	want	and	unabashedly	gives	it	to	them	:	the	many	mentions	of	finch's	encounter	with	stifler's	mom	becomes	a	tiresome	running	gag	throughout	as	does	eugene	levy's	return	as	jim's	well	meaning	,	trying	to	be	hip	dad	.	the	only	performer	who	is	actually	given	some	new	,	fresh	material	is	alyson	hannigan	as	michelle	,	the	band	geek	from	the	original	.	in	the	sequel	,	she	imbues	her	character	with	vulnerability	,	wisdom	and	maturity	.	american	pie	2	is	a	pre	sold	commodity	that	will	earn	several	million	at	the	box	office	.	it	is	a	shame	,	though	,	that	in	its	rush	to	rake	in	some	bucks	screenwriter	adam	herz	,	who	also	penned	the	original	,	could	not	have	set	his	sights	higher	.	american	pie	2	is	funny	,	but	it's	still	a	comedown	as	well	as	a	letdown	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
neg	the	mechanics	of	a	film	like	'firestorm'	are	pretty	basic	.	it	isn't	like	you	would	expect	a	brainstorm	of	ideas	to	revolve	around	such	a	simple	and	mundane	premise	.	therefore	,	you	have	to	count	on	the	film	having	a	well	executed	blend	of	stunt	work	,	editing	,	photographic	expertise	,	and	it	should	,	at	the	very	least	,	have	a	brisk	pace	.	'firestorm'	doesn't	have	any	of	these	elements	in	the	proper	place	.	in	a	somewhat	shameless	and	pitiful	way	,	it	passes	itself	off	with	the	trademark	elements	of	a	television	movie	.	the	shaky	camera	angles	,	an	obviously	low	number	of	takes	,	murky	photography	and	cheesy	special	effects	are	all	presented	in	a	protracted	and	scattershot	manner	and	many	of	the	movie's	bland	action	sequences	are	clumsily	executed	and	in	a	movie	involving	fire	,	you	almost	need	a	magnifying	glass	to	see	any	of	the	important	moments	.	former	nfl	celebrity	and	present	day	football	analyst	howie	long	stars	(	barely	)	as	a	wilderness	firefighter	who	confronts	a	renegade	group	of	escaped	prisoners	,	disguised	as	firefighters	,	who	are	using	a	forest	fire	as	the	perfect	cover	for	a	getaway	scheme	involving	the	recovery	of	millions	of	dollars	hidden	away	just	before	their	leader	was	caught	and	sent	away	to	prison	.	william	forsythe	plays	the	villain	leader	(	barely	)	who	enlists	the	aid	of	other	prisoners	to	help	him	recover	the	money	but	kills	each	one	of	his	helpers	along	the	way	so	he	doesn't	have	to	share	the	loot	with	them	.	tagging	along	for	the	ride	is	a	nature	photographer	(	suzi	amis	)	who	becomes	embroiled	in	long's	fight	against	the	bad	guys	after	long	rescues	her	from	forsythe's	gang	after	she's	kidnapped	and	tells	long	during	their	hike	through	the	forest	that	she's	the	daughter	of	a	tough	marine	and	learned	a	lot	from	her	old	man	.	where's	the	incredible	hulk	when	you	need	him	?	rounding	out	the	cast	is	the	veteran	actor	scott	glenn	who	is	completely	wasted	as	a	colleague	of	long's	in	the	fire	fighting	game	who	suffers	a	career	ending	injury	and	has	to	make	an	embarrassing	sacrifice	during	the	film's	climax	.	'firestorm'	is	unbelievably	anaemic	and	has	some	of	the	worst	computer	enhanced	gimmicks	so	far	in	the	technology	of	motion	pictures	.	it's	credibility	is	strained	by	so	many	phony	fire	related	elements	that	you'll	wish	you	had	a	little	device	with	you	that's	marked	"	break	glass	in	the	event	of	boredom	"	.	there	are	countless	scenes	where	some	of	the	cast	members	would	have	become	overcome	by	smoke	inhalation	and	died	long	before	they	get	out	of	their	entanglements	and	other	scenes	that	depict	debris	landing	on	them	,	in	front	of	them	and	around	them	would	have	been	equally	fatal	in	a	real	scenario	.	the	only	thing	worse	than	this	movie	would	be	to	see	it	turned	into	a	movie	theme	park	ride	which	actually	may	be	more	entertaining	than	sitting	through	this	.	thankfully	,	it's	less	than	90	minutes	.	wow	!	it	really	does	resemble	a	t	.	v	.	movie	!
neg	"	book	"	should	have	remained	in	shadowscertain	things	in	our	lives	are	inevitable	.	death	,	sorrow	,	love	,	heartbreak	,	pain	,	joy	.	we	expect	these	events	.	we	know	they're	going	to	happen	and	some	,	we	even	look	forward	to	.	it's	part	of	the	human	condition	.	we	have	also	become	accustomed	to	inevitable	occurrences	in	our	society	.	as	we	near	the	fall	election	,	several	of	them	are	hitting	us	in	the	face	.	politicians	exaggerate	their	own	importance	.	our	side	is	always	right	;	theirs	is	always	wrong	.	in	the	end	,	voters	are	usually	forced	to	choose	the	lesser	of	two	whocares	.	in	hollywood	the	one	indisputable	inevitable	is	that	if	a	film	makes	big	money	,	there	will	be	a	sequel	.	even	if	the	original	story	doesn't	merit	one	.	even	if	the	first	film	is	complete	in	itself	.	even	if	success	is	a	fluke	.	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	was	made	with	a	budget	of	1	.	75	and	exploded	on	the	screen	,	raking	in	huge	profits	.	the	concept	was	brilliant	.	the	filmmakers	created	a	remarkable	buzz	that	the	story	might	be	real	.	the	film	itself	was	even	more	convincing	.	the	movie	_	must	_	be	authentic	.	why	else	would	such	amateurish	footage	be	on	the	big	screen	?	the	first	film	caught	lightning	in	a	bottle	.	the	sequel	proves	you	can't	pour	that	old	lightning	into	a	new	bottle	.	you	have	to	give	this	effort	some	credit	.	it	would	have	been	easy	to	have	made	the	same	movie	again	with	a	new	group	of	kids	.	it	would	have	been	easy	,	but	of	course	,	it	wouldn't	have	worked	.	instead	"	book	of	shadows	"	acknowledges	the	first	film	as	a	movie	and	concentrates	on	the	hysteria	following	its	release	.	it's	a	great	scheme	and	possibly	the	only	entertaining	way	to	do	a	sequel	.	unfortunately	it	doesn't	work	either	.	five	kids	spend	the	night	in	the	woods	at	the	scene	of	the	first	film	.	weird	stuff	happens	and	they	retreat	to	an	old	factory	where	one	of	them	lives	.	even	weirder	stuff	happens	.	some	people	die	,	there's	blood	and	knives	and	none	of	the	characters	have	a	lick	of	common	sense	.	while	supposedly	doing	serious	research	,	the	group	sets	up	a	circle	of	surveillance	cameras	in	the	ruins	of	the	old	house	in	the	woods	and	vows	to	stay	alert	all	night	awaiting	a	visitation	.	then	they	proceed	to	get	totally	trashed	on	drugs	and	alcohol	and	party	down	with	very	loud	,	very	obnoxious	heavy	metal	music	.	it's	a	bad	plan	.	the	cast	shows	some	early	promise	.	a	couple	is	doing	research	on	a	"	blair	witch	"	book	.	the	tour	guide	is	a	former	mental	patient	turned	ebay	aficionado	.	a	goth	amazon	princess	adds	a	bit	of	comedic	relief	.	the	obligatory	hot	babe	is	the	2000	spiritual	cinematic	descendent	of	the	cute	hippie	chick	,	the	cute	rock	and	roll	chick	and	the	cute	disco	chick	:	the	cute	wiccan	chick	.	the	first	film's	unaccomplished	actors	came	across	as	real	people	in	a	real	situation	because	hours	and	hours	of	video	were	shot	during	days	in	the	woods	.	this	time	,	these	unaccomplished	actors	just	come	across	as	unaccomplished	actors	.	there's	not	one	character	you	care	about	when	they	start	shouting	for	no	reason	.	although	what	passes	for	a	plot	starts	out	with	a	solid	idea	,	it's	ruined	by	poor	execution	.	the	follow	up	to	one	of	the	most	successful	horror	films	ever	is	nothing	more	than	a	bad	slasher	movie	.	they're	trapped	in	an	old	big	weird	house	.	they	stupidly	separate	into	various	rooms	.	there	are	strange	noises	,	they	see	scary	apparitions	and	people	disappear	.	ever	see	this	movie	?	seasoned	documentary	director	joe	berlinger	should	know	better	.	the	film	features	mostly	cheap	tricks	and	unnecessary	gore	.	for	a	storyline	filled	with	surprises	,	it's	oddly	predicable	.	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	was	a	rare	triumph	of	style	over	substance	.	"	the	book	of	shadows	"	is	a	triumph	of	tedium	over	promise	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	25	years	.	for	the	first	time	during	that	period	,	he's	going	to	vote	for	someone	who	might	make	a	good	president	.	but	he'll	have	to	use	a	pencil	to	do	it	.	send	vapid	political	commentary	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	"	redman	bluemarble	.	net	.	a	)	this	appeared	in	the	11	2	00	"	bloomington	independent	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bluemarble	.	net	"	redman	bluemarble	.	net	a
neg	an	experience	like	baby	geniuses	can	have	certain	effects	on	an	average	moviegoer	.	you	may	be	scarred	for	life	after	seeing	this	petrified	piece	of	garbage	,	which	is	so	disarmingly	horrible	that	it	may	cause	you	to	ponder	it's	hollywood	existence	.	when	i	think	of	the	screenwriters	behind	this	film	,	i	picture	a	room	full	of	monkeys	.	the	monkeys	are	pounding	on	their	typewriters	while	scratching	themselves	.	all	of	the	monkeys	combine	their	efforts	,	hop	in	a	cab	and	take	the	finished	product	downtown	to	director	bob	clark's	office	.	the	designated	monkey	explains	the	plot	by	jumping	up	and	down	on	clark's	desk	while	flailing	his	arms	and	shrieking	.	the	director	appears	to	be	deep	in	thought	,	until	he	slams	his	fist	down	on	the	desktop	and	exclaims	i	love	it	!	!	!	'	the	writing	behind	this	project	is	embarrassing	.	for	your	amusement	,	i	will	explain	the	plot	.	dr	.	kinder	(	kathleen	turner	)	and	dr	.	heep	(	christopher	lloyd	)	are	two	of	the	cold	hearted	executives	at	the	baby	geniuses	institute	,	where	peculiar	studies	are	going	on	.	as	the	story	goes	,	there	is	an	ancient	myth	explaining	that	babies	(	ages	2	and	under	)	know	all	the	secrets	of	the	world	from	previous	life	experiences	.	when	they	move	past	this	phase	,	they	become	like	any	other	drooling	toddler	.	kinder	and	heep	want	to	unlock	the	secrets	using	their	test	babies	,	namely	little	sylvester	(	sly	for	short	)	,	who	can	break	in	or	out	of	any	given	situation	so	efficiently	that	he	would	be	right	at	home	on	the	mission	:	impossible	team	.	there	is	so	much	crap	derived	from	this	premise	,	despite	the	fact	it's	virtually	identical	to	the	plot	in	look	who's	talking	!	(	a	far	superior	film	in	any	league	)	.	you	will	be	able	to	determine	the	quality	of	the	film	by	examining	the	opening	scene	.	sylvester	has	broken	out	and	managed	to	elude	several	security	guards	with	his	amazing	intellect	and	kung	fu	tactics	.	question	:	it's	obvious	the	babies	are	super	smart	,	but	why	are	they	able	to	fight	like	jackie	chan	?	?	the	adults	in	this	film	are	furiously	beaten	by	these	youngsters	in	diapers	.	it's	a	shock	when	writers	will	stoop	this	low	just	to	draw	cheap	laughs	by	using	john	hughes'	familiar	home	alone	formula	.	i	also	found	it	disturbing	that	the	babies	in	this	film	have	attitude	and	endless	90's	knowledge	,	quoting	numerous	movies	and	insulting	their	adult	captors	.	the	effects	in	baby	geniuses	(	similar	to	the	talking	animals	in	babe	)	are	pathetic	,	the	editing	is	a	disaster	,	and	the	jokes	are	never	funny	.	the	only	reason	viewers	may	avoid	vomiting	is	the	argument	that	the	babies	are	cute'	.	i	suppose	they	are	.	i	can	admit	to	smiling	a	few	times	because	the	babies	were	cute	.	other	instances	,	though	,	i	was	howling	in	laughter	due	to	the	inane	stupidity	of	the	script	.	there	are	supporting	characters	who	have	no	personality	whatsoever	;	their	entire	existence	is	based	on	punch	lines	.	peter	macnicol	and	kim	cattrall	,	as	an	unwilling	couple	who	have	adopted	sylvester's	twin	,	are	both	miscast	.	then	again	,	i	don't	suppose	any	performer	could	handle	the	uneven	material	without	looking	incredibly	stupid	.	meanwhile	,	dom	deluise	plays	a	fellow	who	gets	hit	in	the	crotch	with	a	monkey	wrench	(	hahaha	)	.	i	would	avoid	baby	geniuses	at	all	costs	.	instead	of	watching	this	,	i	would	recommended	filling	your	bathtub	with	cement	and	going	snorkeling	.	or	perhaps	you	would	consider	going	diving	in	shark	infested	waters	.	anything	to	avoid	this	painful	movie	.	the	final	line	in	the	film	,	spoken	by	the	bratty	sylvester	,	is	if	they	think	i'm	doing	the	sequel	for	less	than	20	mill	,	they're	nuts'	.	sequel	?	please	have	mercy	.
neg	for	his	directoral	debut	,	gary	oldman	chose	a	highly	personal	family	drama	about	a	violent	,	alcoholic	husband	and	father	,	and	the	various	lives	he	affects	.	but	while	the	characters	,	places	and	events	may	have	special	meaning	to	the	writer	director	,	the	audience	is	left	in	the	dark	.	the	center	of	this	tale	is	the	abusive	raymond	(	ray	winstone	)	,	and	the	film	focuses	on	him	and	the	people	who	orbit	around	him	.	he	spends	his	days	hanging	out	with	his	friends	at	pubs	and	girlie	bars	.	then	,	he	returns	home	to	his	pregnant	wife	,	valerie	(	kathy	burke	)	and	their	five	year	old	daughter	.	raymond	demonstrates	his	violent	tendencies	(	and	his	paranoid	delusions	)	early	on	when	he	accuses	valerie's	brother	,	billy	(	charlie	creed	miles	)	,	of	stealing	.	raymond	then	proceed	to	beat	(	and	bite	)	him	to	a	bloody	wreck	.	but	these	are	the	least	of	billy's	problems	.	billy	is	a	heroin	addict	on	the	downturn	,	and	it	doesn't	seem	that	he'll	last	much	longer	.	billy	and	valerie's	mother	,	janet	(	laila	morse	)	,	is	raymond's	nemesis	.	she	disapproves	of	him	(	and	he	of	her	)	,	but	is	powerless	to	do	anything	about	it	.	she	merely	struggles	on	,	hoping	her	children	will	survive	their	respective	torments	.	if	this	description	seems	bleak	,	i	haven't	told	the	half	of	it	.	this	is	not	a	cheery	movie	,	and	most	of	the	time	it's	downright	depressing	.	while	at	times	it	is	interesting	to	watch	to	see	just	what	makes	raymond	tick	,	and	why	no	one	ever	simply	calls	the	cops	on	him	,	in	the	end	,	it's	not	quite	worth	it	.	there	are	too	many	scenes	which	randomly	dot	the	picture	with	little	or	no	purpose	.	take	for	example	the	extended	sequence	where	one	of	billy's	scuzzy	friends	defends	a	stray	puppy	.	the	film	is	filled	with	these	"	character	moments	"	that	never	really	achieve	anything	.	granted	,	there	are	a	few	genuinely	powerful	(	and	sickening	)	moments	in	the	film	,	but	their	expression	seems	to	be	more	of	a	catharsis	for	the	creator	than	us	.	the	actors	do	a	fine	job	,	particularly	in	the	central	roles	.	the	good	thing	about	an	actor	turned	writer	is	that	oldman	knows	how	to	write	good	scenes	,	and	the	actors	in	nil	by	mouth	have	some	meat	they	can	tear	into	.	the	bad	thing	about	an	actor	turned	director	is	that	there's	no	one	to	restrain	oldman	from	making	poor	choices	.	a	good	character	drama	should	mean	something	to	those	involved	in	making	the	film	and	the	audience	.	oldman	got	it	about	half	right	.
neg	(	out	of	)	in	this	re	make	of	the	1954	japanese	monster	film	,	godzilla	is	transformed	into	a	"	jurassic	park	"	copy	who	swims	from	the	south	pacific	to	new	york	for	no	real	reason	and	trashes	the	town	.	although	some	of	the	destruction	is	entertaining	for	a	while	,	it	gets	old	fast	.	the	film	often	makes	no	sense	(	a	several	hundred	foot	tall	beast	hides	in	subway	tunnels	)	,	sports	second	rate	effects	(	the	baby	godzillas	seem	to	be	one	computer	effect	multiplied	on	the	screen	)	,	lame	jokes	(	mayor	ebert	and	his	assistant	gene	are	never	funny	)	,	horrendous	acting	(	even	matthew	broderick	is	dull	)	and	an	unbelievable	love	story	(	why	would	anyone	want	to	get	back	together	with	maria	pitillo's	character	?	)	.	there	are	other	elements	of	the	film	that	fall	flat	,	but	going	on	would	just	be	a	waste	of	good	words	.	only	for	die	hard	creature	feature	fans	,	this	might	be	fun	if	you	could	check	your	brain	at	the	door	.	i	couldn't	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	23	years	and	has	seldom	had	a	more	disorienting	cinematic	experience	than	seeing	both	"	fear	and	loathing	"	and	"	godzilla	"	in	the	same	evening	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	5	28	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	ingredients	:	possessed	plastic	dolls	in	love	,	plastic	dolls	having	sexstarring	:	jennifer	tilly	,	voice	of	brad	dourif	,	katherine	heigl	,	nick	stabile	,	john	ritter	synopsis	:	this	is	the	fourth	film	in	the	chucky	series	,	which	debuted	in	the	late	1980s	.	basically	,	chucky	is	a	plastic	doll	that	can	walk	and	talk	because	it	is	possessed	by	the	spirit	of	a	slain	murderer	.	in	bride	of	chucky	,	chucky's	longtime	girlfriend	tiffany	(	jennifer	tilly	)	dies	and	her	spirit	inhabits	a	female	plastic	doll	through	voodoo	.	dolls	tiffany	and	chucky	get	married	and	embark	on	a	quest	to	reach	a	cemetery	in	new	jersey	,	where	a	mystical	gem	might	enable	them	to	be	humans	.	the	dolls	stow	away	in	the	back	of	a	vehicle	driven	by	a	newly	eloped	couple	,	so	in	the	side	plot	,	the	couple	suspects	each	other	of	being	a	murderer	.	opinion	:	bride	of	chucky	is	an	attempt	at	horror	with	humor	,	but	doesn't	succeed	.	somehow	,	chucky	moaning	about	mid	life	crisis	,	and	how	he	should	have	gotten	married	does	not	make	for	a	very	scary	chucky	.	and	tiffany	harping	about	mid	life	crisis	,	and	how	she	should	have	gotten	married	does	not	make	for	a	very	scary	tiffany	.	the	suspenseless	bride	of	chucky	relies	mostly	on	jennifer	tilly's	cleavage	to	keep	attention	during	the	first	half	,	and	on	occasional	puns	to	keep	attention	during	the	second	half	.	the	best	that	can	be	said	about	bride	of	chucky	is	that	it	is	sarcastic	.
neg	the	modern	use	of	the	western	movie	,	and	the	western	genre	has	almost	evaporated	.	even	cowgirls	get	the	blues	and	wild	wild	west	are	some	of	the	most	recent	entries	,	both	of	them	were	bad	,	and	this	one	is	coming	right	along	to	join	them	.	what	starts	out	like	a	promising	desert	film	(	martin	scorsese	is	one	of	the	producers	)	turns	into	boring	drech	.	pete	calder	(	crudup	,	who	was	steve	prefontaine	in	without	limits	)	is	new	to	hi	lo	,	new	mexico	.	he's	here	to	start	his	cattle	business	and	quickly	makes	friends	with	,	oh	,	the	western	version	of	woody	harrelson	(	and	,	what	a	surprise	,	he's	played	by	woody	harrelson	)	his	name	is	big	boy	and	he's	in	the	same	business	.	the	two	men	constantly	go	to	the	bar	,	and	celebrate	the	death	of	a	man	that	they	beat	in	poker	.	when	mona	(	patricia	arquette	)	crosses	through	both	of	their	lives	,	they	are	both	lovestruck	and	each	of	them	begin	their	own	private	affairs	.	the	men	struggle	to	keep	their	bonds	alive	while	they	are	constantly	drunk	,	herding	cattle	,	and	making	crude	sexual	references	.	(	if	this	doesn't	sound	like	a	classic	western	you're	right	.	)	the	film	follows	the	two	men's	lives	until	one	character	dies	,	by	the	time	we	get	there	,	we	don't	really	care	.	there	are	three	problems	in	the	hi	lo	country	.	one	,	harrelson	seems	to	have	his	role	written	exactly	for	him	.	rather	than	seeing	harrelson's	big	boy	character	when	i	looked	on	the	screen	,	i	saw	woody	harrelson	playing	the	same	type	of	woody	ized	character	that	he	always	plays	.	this	also	goes	for	arquette	,	who's	role	seems	patricia	ized	for	her	and	reminded	me	constantly	of	her	alice	character	in	lost	highway	.	two	,	the	film	is	boring	.	so	boring	in	fact	,	that	i	believe	my	minutes	of	film	to	yawn	ratio	is	6	:	2	.	three	,	the	film	plays	in	no	particular	order	,	showing	us	a	handful	of	random	events	that	don't	have	any	meaning	to	what	happens	in	the	conclusion	.	add	some	sappy	drama	,	and	you've	got	another	bad	western	,	the	hi	lo	country	gets	1	2	stars	.
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	fox	on	february	11	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	118	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	danny	boyle	;	produced	by	andrew	macdonald	.	written	by	john	hodge	;	based	on	the	novel	by	alex	garland	.	photographed	by	darius	khondji	;	edited	by	masahiro	hirakubo	.	danny	boyle	is	one	of	the	most	hyperactive	boors	in	modern	cinema	,	the	film	director	equivalent	of	someone	who'd	take	your	arthritic	father	to	a	rave	,	forcibly	make	him	dance	to	the	horrible	music	and	claim	to	be	promoting	social	integration	between	the	generations	.	he	takes	gritty	works	of	literature	,	which	are	filled	with	reality	and	truth	,	and	shakes	them	up	into	shallow	feature	length	pop	videos	.	obviously	he	paid	attention	in	film	school	,	where	they	teach	you	conventional	hollywood	structures	and	cheap	tricks	that	please	mass	audiences	;	if	only	he'd	realise	you're	supposed	to	move	on	after	you	graduate	.	boyle	first	trampled	on	a	great	book	with	"	trainspotting	"	(	1996	)	,	a	grotesquely	lively	romp	based	on	irvine	welsh's	epic	study	of	drug	addiction	in	inner	city	scotland	.	now	the	filmmaker	,	and	his	team	of	writer	john	hodge	and	producer	andrew	macdonald	,	have	brought	us	an	adaptation	of	alex	garland's	"	the	beach	"	,	in	which	leonardo	dicaprio	plays	richard	,	an	american	backpacker	disillusioned	by	the	tacky	westernisation	of	foreign	culture	.	he	walks	through	the	cities	of	thailand	shaking	his	head	at	the	hustle	and	bustle	of	yapping	market	traders	,	caf	bars	full	of	people	watching	television	,	and	vulgar	drunken	tourists	.	in	his	fleapit	hotel	,	the	kid	is	kept	awake	by	the	sounds	of	a	crazed	scottish	pot	head	who	goes	by	the	pseudonym	of	daffy	duck	(	robert	carlyle	)	and	raves	about	a	perfect	beach	which	has	so	far	been	kept	secret	from	these	ruinous	tourist	crowds	.	he	takes	a	liking	to	richard	,	though	,	and	gives	him	a	map	to	this	paradise	before	killing	himself	.	richard	and	his	french	travelling	companions	,	tienne	(	guillaume	canet	)	and	franoise	(	virginie	ledoyen	)	,	do	eventually	get	to	the	place	daffy	promised	them	,	and	settle	into	the	beautiful	locale	,	which	is	populated	by	young	folks	just	as	sick	as	they	are	at	the	state	of	traditional	holiday	destinations	.	their	community	is	rather	sophisticated	everyone	has	work	assignments	,	there	are	group	meetings	,	huts	have	been	well	built	and	yet	more	than	anywhere	else	these	people	have	been	,	their	island	offers	them	the	opportunity	to	absorb	parts	of	the	world	that	haven't	been	trodden	on	.	one	of	them	describes	it	as	a	"	beach	resort	for	people	who	can't	stand	beach	resorts	"	.	the	dream	doesn't	last	,	because	inevitably	people	do	find	out	about	the	place	,	and	try	to	come	.	this	invokes	the	violent	anger	of	the	dope	farmers	on	the	other	side	of	the	island	an	added	devastation	to	the	lives	of	our	beach	dwelling	friends	,	who	have	already	begun	to	destroy	their	own	peace	by	developing	hostile	paranoia	about	their	privacy	.	in	his	book	,	garland	found	all	the	right	notes	to	tell	this	story	;	he	knew	that	the	experience	of	paradise	found	and	lost	had	to	really	happen	to	the	reader	,	so	it	had	some	emotional	charge	and	didn't	just	become	a	pretentious	cogitation	on	man's	tendency	to	ruin	the	gifts	god	gave	him	.	his	hero	was	a	perceptive	,	down	to	earth	brit	we	could	identify	with	.	the	beach	society	was	made	up	of	people	looking	for	clean	fun	,	not	a	bunch	of	freaks	with	some	twisted	revolutionary	ideology	.	and	their	downward	spiral	emerged	gradually	,	tragically	,	out	of	reasonable	concerns	that	got	out	of	hand	.	boyle	and	company	,	however	,	plunge	enthusiastically	into	every	pitfall	possible	.	the	middle	passages	of	their	film	should	settle	into	beach	life	,	capture	a	feeling	of	tranquillity	and	make	us	hope	that	it	can	last	;	instead	,	the	happy	part	of	the	plot	is	covered	in	a	short	montage	where	we	see	snippets	of	activity	and	hear	dicaprio's	narration	tell	us	how	everything	was	going	fine	.	consequently	the	madness	and	carnage	of	the	latter	passages	come	from	nowhere	and	mean	nothing	.	the	condensed	structure	,	the	introduction	of	irrelevant	romantic	subplots	and	the	brief	dialogue	make	"	the	beach	"	a	film	of	plot	,	which	is	a	mistake	,	since	it	should	be	one	of	journey	.	the	production	design	and	photography	are	impeccable	,	and	dicaprio's	intense	screen	presence	is	always	fascinating	.	strange	,	then	,	how	bland	and	superficial	the	film	feels	;	i	think	it's	because	boyle	jumps	around	instead	of	absorbing	atmosphere	,	and	is	working	from	a	screenplay	without	any	well	defined	characters	or	key	moments	.	the	experience	of	reading	"	the	beach	"	and	then	seeing	the	film	resembles	the	plight	of	the	characters	they	found	something	wonderful	,	rejoiced	in	it	,	and	then	saw	a	bunch	of	careless	bastards	trample	it	into	bloody	pulp	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantganiplease	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	warner	brothers	;	rated	pg	13	(	mild	violence	,	sexual	situations	)	;	132	minutesscreenplay	:	gerald	di	pego	(	from	the	novel	by	nicholas	sparks	)	cast	:	kevin	costner	,	robin	wright	penn	,	paul	newman	,	illeana	douglas	,	robbie	coltrane	,	jesse	james	,	john	savage	.	i'm	not	an	overly	cynical	guy	.	there	have	been	many	glossy	hollywood	romances	that	have	carried	me	away	with	their	romanticism	over	the	years	.	however	,	i	have	my	limits	and	i	also	have	standards	.	this	brings	us	to	the	subject	at	hand	:	message	in	a	bottle	,	the	big	ticket	romance	that	warner	brothers'	unleashed	upon	the	movie	going	public	just	in	time	for	valentine's	day	.	the	story	,	what	little	of	it	that	there	is	,	involves	boring	chicago	tribune	reporter	theresa	osborne	(	robin	wright	penn	)	dealing	with	her	recent	divorce	and	trying	to	raise	her	young	son	jason	(	jesse	james	)	.	during	a	brief	stay	somewhere	in	new	england	she	finds	the	titular	message	in	a	bottle	while	on	a	morning	run	by	the	ocean	.	the	letter	,	written	to	a	mystery	woman	named	catherine	,	instantly	captivates	her	.	upon	her	return	,	theresa	shares	it	with	her	best	friend	lina	(	illeana	douglas	)	,	her	boss	charlie	(	robbie	coltrane	)	,	and	the	entire	city	of	chicago	(	the	newspaper	publishes	an	article	about	it	)	.	it	turns	out	that	the	message	was	written	by	grieving	widower	garret	blake	(	kevin	costner	)	and	so	theresa	travels	to	north	carolina	and	tracks	him	down	.	he	turns	out	to	have	a	colorful	father	(	paul	newman	)	but	is	otherwise	perfectly	dull	and	overly	obsessed	with	sailing	.	this	is	somehow	attractive	to	theresa	and	the	two	begin	their	awkward	courtship	.	of	course	she	doesn't	tell	him	that	she	found	his	letter	,	she	wants	to	but	the	rules	of	this	type	of	film	require	him	to	find	out	later	(	preferably	right	after	they	first	make	love	)	.	this	way	garret	can	get	very	angry	and	the	relationship	can	be	threatened	.	the	discovery	of	the	message	and	garret's	discovery	that	theresa	discovered	the	message	are	really	the	only	two	noteworthy	events	that	happen	during	the	nearly	two	and	a	quarter	hour	running	time	of	this	film	.	there's	a	truly	lame	subplot	about	garret's	relationship	with	his	dead	wife's	family	(	he	gets	into	a	bar	fight	with	her	brother	,	played	by	john	savage	)	and	then	the	necessary	tear	jerking	ending	.	a	fun	way	to	pass	the	time	is	to	take	bets	on	exactly	who	will	die	,	although	it	becomes	pretty	clear	by	the	second	reel	.	the	actual	death	sequence	is	one	of	the	most	ridiculously	forced	,	and	unintentionally	humorous	,	sequences	filmed	since	.	.	.	well	,	since	costner's	the	postman	(	1997	)	.	message	in	a	bottle	is	one	slow	moving	film	.	last	year	audiences	were	offered	endurance	tests	such	as	the	horse	whisperer	and	meet	joe	black	but	both	of	those	films	resemble	jerry	bruckheimer	productions	next	to	this	.	they	also	had	redeeming	qualities	in	the	form	of	quality	performances	and	some	stand	out	technical	work	.	message	in	a	bottle	has	a	decent	enough	cast	but	they're	fighting	the	material	all	the	way	,	and	losing	badly	.	costner	and	,	especially	,	wright	penn	are	both	likable	and	attractive	enough	to	cheer	for	but	their	characters	are	simply	too	boring	.	they	also	fail	to	generate	any	kind	of	real	romantic	chemistry	.	the	supporting	players	are	given	very	little	to	do	.	the	reliable	douglas	is	particularly	wasted	.	old	pro	newman	gives	his	all	and	occasionally	threatens	to	kick	some	life	into	this	dead	horse	of	a	film	.	a	confrontational	scene	he	has	with	costner	near	the	end	is	especially	well	played	.	however	,	too	frequently	he	just	reminds	us	how	unexciting	our	lead	characters	are	.	the	film	is	very	polished	on	the	technical	side	to	be	sure	but	it	only	works	to	undercut	the	story	.	gabriel	yared	,	who	previously	set	the	romantic	moods	of	the	english	patient	(	1996	)	and	city	of	angels	(	1998	)	with	his	scores	,	overdoes	it	a	bit	here	.	caleb	deschanel's	camera	makes	everything	look	a	little	too	beautiful	.	do	the	offices	of	the	chicago	tribune	really	need	to	look	heavenly	?	the	editing	by	steven	weisberg	is	troubling	not	only	considering	all	that	could	have	been	cut	out	but	is	also	simply	messy	at	times	.	the	real	offender	here	is	screenwriter	gerald	di	pego	.	working	from	a	best	selling	novel	by	nicholas	sparks	(	which	i	have	not	read	but	have	been	told	is	on	the	same	literary	level	as	the	bridges	of	madison	county	)	,	di	pego	creates	one	of	the	most	uninspired	scripts	of	recent	times	.	its	strict	adherence	to	clichs	brings	to	mind	such	disasters	as	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	(	1998	)	.	there	simply	isn't	an	original	scene	in	this	film	.	the	dialogue	is	rarely	better	than	laughable	and	this	is	only	accentuated	by	the	excessively	long	pauses	every	character	takes	while	speaking	.	this	is	director	mandoki's	first	film	since	when	a	man	loves	a	woman	(	1994	)	,	the	solid	meg	ryan	andy	garcia	romance	.	he's	simply	going	through	the	motions	with	this	.	message	in	a	bottle	is	easily	the	worst	of	the	several	romantic	offerings	available	in	theaters	at	the	moment	and	vies	with	what	dreams	may	come	(	1998	)	as	one	of	the	most	misguided	romances	of	the	decade	.
neg	i'm	still	trying	to	figure	out	how	to	look	at	the	minus	man	.	either	it's	supposed	to	be	a	dark	,	black	comedy	,	or	it's	supposed	to	be	a	thoughtful	,	pensive	drama	thriller	a	la	sling	blade	.	and	it	has	so	much	going	for	it	.	owen	wilson	,	who	was	so	great	in	films	like	bottle	rocket	.	janeane	garofalo	,	who	i	like	pretty	much	universally	.	hampton	fancher	,	who	adapted	the	screenplay	for	blade	runner	.	what's	not	to	like	?	the	minus	man	takes	as	its	premise	that	your	average	,	thirtysomething	,	white	male	is	the	most	likely	serial	killer	around	.	vann	(	wilson	)	fits	the	profile	perfectly	,	a	quiet	,	blonde	,	super	polite	drifter	who	poisons	people	at	random	.	the	town	of	owensville	is	no	different	,	as	vann	randomly	offs	people	,	narrating	to	himself	along	the	way	along	with	two	imaginary	cops	.	there's	a	romance	of	sorts	,	with	garofalo	as	a	postal	worker	smitten	with	vann	,	and	her	screen	time	turns	out	to	be	the	only	stuff	worth	watching	.	the	rest	of	the	film	is	interminable	,	boring	,	and	ultimately	plotless	,	meandering	from	scene	to	scene	with	no	discernable	direction	.	frankly	,	i	gave	up	on	the	minus	man	after	30	minutes	.	turned	out	there	were	90	more	to	go	.	i	don't	know	what	the	ultimate	point	of	this	film	was	supposed	to	be	.	that	there	are	crazy	people	all	around	?	that	life	and	film	can	ultimately	lack	meaning	?	that	rock	stars	(	crow	)	can	do	whatever	they	want	?	that	once	great	actors	and	writers	can	produce	junk	now	and	again	?
neg	"	you	damn	dirty	apes	!	"	that's	just	one	of	the	inadvertenty	hilarious	lines	from	planet	of	the	apes	that's	taken	on	a	comedic	context	over	time	.	no	one	back	then	seemed	to	realize	how	over	the	top	charlton	heston's	acting	style	was	,	but	it	shows	now	,	particularly	in	this	"	mystery	science	theater	3000	"	wannabe	that	was	taken	for	a	film	masterpiece	in	its	time	,	actually	winning	one	oscar	(	for	makeup	,	no	less	)	and	being	nominated	for	a	couple	others	.	it	also	spawned	multiple	sequels	like	beneath	the	planet	of	the	apes	,	escape	from	the	planet	of	the	apes	,	return	of	the	planet	of	the	apes	,	beneath	the	escape	from	the	return	of	the	planet	of	the	apes	,	planet	of	the	apes	:	the	next	generation	,	police	academy	of	the	apes	.	.	.	the	list	goes	on	.	heston	is	an	american	astronaut	who	spends	a	few	thousand	light	years	in	space	with	his	three	companions	and	ends	up	on	a	planet	not	too	dissimilar	from	earth	.	the	thing	is	,	on	this	planet	humans	can't	talk	or	think	and	the	guys	in	the	gorilla	masks	are	the	dominant	species	.	heston's	companions	are	killed	or	turned	into	vegetables	by	the	apon	is	imprisoned	.	he	surprises	them	all	with	his	gift	of	speech	,	making	two	primate	scientists	(	roddy	mcdowall	and	kim	hunter	)	believe	heston	is	the	missing	link	between	ape	and	man	.	believe	me	,	we	movie	critics	have	been	thinking	the	same	thing	for	years	.	when	the	two	apes	present	the	idea	before	a	judicial	counsel	(	the	head	ape	being	shakespearean	actor	maurice	evans	)	,	it	is	received	as	heresy	,	for	all	good	monkeys	know	god	"	created	ape	in	his	image	.	"	but	heston	has	already	seen	a	cave	that	contains	evidence	that	humans	were	originally	the	dominant	species	,	before	apes	ever	gained	the	ability	to	speak	and	run	for	president	.	and	he	takes	them	there	,	holding	up	a	baby	doll	and	yelling	,	"	if	humans	couldn't	speak	,	then	how	do	you	account	for	this	talking	doll	?	!	"	and	how	do	you	account	for	your	acting	ability	,	mr	.	heston	?	the	absolute	most	laughable	scene	comes	with	the	movie's	surprise	conclusion	.	i	won't	reveal	the	details	except	to	say	it	involves	heston	falling	to	his	knees	on	a	beach	and	yelling	"	god	damn	you	all	to	hell	!	"	several	times	in	succession	.	the	movie	is	atrocious	and	should	only	be	viewed	by	those	members	of	society	who	like	to	watch	bad	movies	and	laugh	at	them	.	what	makes	planet	of	the	apes	even	more	amusing	is	that	it	was	supposed	to	function	as	some	sort	of	social	irony	,	a	condemnation	of	fundamentals	who	reject	the	theories	of	evolution	.	but	let	me	tell	you	,	if	darwin	could	see	the	ape	masks	and	hear	the	rotten	dialogue	exchanges	(	heston	to	female	ape	:	may	i	kiss	you	before	i	go	?	ape	:	but	.	.	.	you're	so	.	.	.	ugly	.	)	,	he'd	convert	to	creationism	on	the	spot	.	luckily	for	us	,	science	fiction	movies	have	evolved	over	time	to	the	point	at	which	some	of	them	are	actually	good	.
neg	what	have	i	done	to	deserve	this	?	(	que	he	hecho	yo	para	merecer	esto	?	)	(	spain	,	1984	)	written	and	directed	by	pedro	almodovar	.	cinematography	,	angel	luis	fernandez	.	art	direction	,	pin	morales	,	roman	arango	.	editing	,	jose	solcedo	.	music	,	bernardo	bonezzi	.	cast	:	carmen	maura	,	angel	de	andres	lopez	,	veronica	forque	,	gonzalo	suarez	,	chus	lampreave	,	juan	martinez	,	miguel	angel	herranz	,	amparo	soler	leal	,	luis	hostalot	.	a	tesauro	and	kaktus	coproduction	,	released	by	cinevista	.	in	spanish	with	subtitles	.	100	minutes	.	no	rating	.	pedro	almodovar	,	who	has	been	emerging	in	the	1980s	as	the	naughty	boy	of	spanish	cinema	,	may	baffle	you	with	what	have	i	done	.	.	.	,	but	he	will	also	amuse	you	and	instruct	you	.	the	film's	mixed	genre	is	something	that	unsettles	habitues	of	commercial	spectacles	.	although	our	desire	to	classify	what	we	see	makes	us	wonder	where	exactly	this	movie	fits	(	from	scene	to	scene	and	within	scenes	it	swings	from	farce	to	drama	and	from	comedy	to	tragedy	)	,	the	unorthodox	effects	build	up	into	a	coherent	absurdist	whole	,	somewhat	like	a	play	by	eugene	ionesco	.	gloria	is	a	woman	in	her	thirties	.	she	would	be	attractive	were	she	not	so	harried	.	she	lives	in	a	cramped	apartment	within	a	monstrous	low	cost	housing	development	.	co	existing	around	her	is	a	gallery	of	individuals	,	each	of	whom	is	outrageous	in	a	different	way	,	each	of	whom	is	worked	into	the	plots	and	subplots	of	the	movie	.	there's	antonio	,	the	chauvinist	pig	taxi	driver	husband	who	is	hung	up	on	german	songs	by	zarah	leander	(	the	darling	of	the	nazi	era	)	;	who	has	a	talent	for	imitating	handwriting	;	who	once	forged	some	letters	of	hitler	to	a	mistress	,	when	he	(	antonio	)	was	a	chauffeur	in	germany	and	sleeping	with	his	lady	employer	.	there's	the	older	son	who	deals	drugs	and	the	younger	son	who	goes	to	bed	with	his	classmate's	father	.	there's	antonio's	stingy	old	mother	(	played	with	filmic	effrontery	by	a	young	woman	in	opaque	glasses	)	who's	hung	up	on	sweets	and	mineral	water	(	"	with	lots	of	bubbles	"	)	and	sells	part	of	her	stock	to	her	son	,	as	needed	.	across	the	hall	is	sexy	cristal	,	gloria's	only	friend	and	a	whore	.	another	neighbor	is	a	seamstress	who	hates	her	former	husband	and	takes	it	out	on	her	cherubic	little	girl	.	the	child	has	telekinetic	powers	.	if	movies	had	a	face	,	this	one	would	have	a	deadpan	expression	.	in	a	series	of	off	the	wall	crises	,	the	film	proceeds	imperturbably	,	treating	the	most	outlandish	or	immoral	events	in	casual	fashion	.	ill	husbanded	gloria	,	long	on	household	slavery	and	short	on	household	money	,	also	works	as	a	cleaning	woman	.	she	pops	uppers	to	steady	her	nerves	.	as	the	picture	opens	,	she	has	a	sexual	encounter	of	the	last	tango	in	paris	school	.	later	,	one	of	her	husband's	fares	who	also	happens	to	be	one	of	cristal's	clients	,	hires	her	for	himself	and	his	brother	.	the	man	is	a	failed	writer	whose	wife	is	another	failed	writer	as	well	as	a	kleptomaniac	.	he	hatches	a	plot	involving	antonio	and	another	nazi	forgery	.	his	brother	,	a	psychiatrist	who	ought	to	be	seeing	a	psychiatrist	,	counsels	an	impotent	police	inspector	who	is	in	and	out	of	everyone's	life	.	gloria	lets	a	pederastic	dentist	adopt	her	junior	son	so	that	the	youngster	may	have	a	better	life	.	grandma	adopts	a	lizard	and	baptizes	him	"	money	,	"	the	most	important	thing	in	life	.	that's	only	part	of	the	criss	crossings	where	each	individual	gets	by	hook	,	crook	,	or	arbitrariness	,	involved	with	several	others	,	but	is	hardly	involved	in	any	concern	for	others	.	it	takes	a	while	for	us	to	sort	things	out	in	those	concentric	circles	,	to	realize	that	the	shifting	center	of	the	movie	is	gloria	,	to	see	that	the	main	point	is	a	feminist	one	about	the	still	unliberated	woman	in	spain	.	women	may	have	come	a	long	way	since	franco	died	,	but	they	still	have	a	much	longer	way	to	go	.	almodovar	,	performer	,	cartoonist	,	writer	and	filmmaker	,	conducts	his	movie	like	a	series	of	mad	yet	cool	improvisations	.	what	have	i	done	.	.	.	.	may	remind	you	in	some	ways	of	underground	features	,	of	the	work	of	american	director	paul	bartel	,	of	gonzo	journalism	,	of	the	dark	humor	of	bunuel	and	other	spaniards	,	but	it	is	essentially	an	original	work	.	the	french	new	wave	by	now	old	but	staging	a	welcome	comeback	via	contemporary	imitators	in	britain	and	elsewhere	may	also	come	to	mind	,	with	for	example	,	almodovar's	asides	on	top	of	asides	.	some	of	those	are	obviously	relevant	.	others	are	indirectly	relevant	,	like	the	very	funny	parodies	of	neo	hispanic	tv	commercials	which	comment	on	the	ludicrousness	of	the	media	and	the	way	they	stultify	the	public	.	others	yet	(	like	a	man	who	makes	car	noises	)	look	like	inventions	that	were	too	good	to	pass	up	so	why	not	throw	them	in	?	as	you	watch	this	film	,	you	may	go	through	different	stages	,	including	one	where	you	think	that	there's	overkill	,	but	keep	going	and	the	purposes	of	almodovar's	exaggerations	fall	into	place	.	paradoxically	,	as	matters	become	increasingly	surreal	,	social	criticism	becomes	increasingly	real	.	i	will	not	reveal	all	the	ins	and	outs	of	the	plot	,	but	when	a	hambone	and	police	investigators	get	involved	,	not	only	does	this	in	with	the	opening	sequence	in	a	"	kendo	"	(	martial	arts	)	academy	,	but	also	with	a	once	famous	black	humor	story	by	roald	dahl	,	first	printed	in	the	new	yorker	magazine	many	years	ago	.	in	keeping	with	its	subject	(	s	)	,	the	film	has	provocative	tastelessness	at	times	,	and	always	a	voluntarily	garish	look	,	from	the	amateurish	opening	credits	in	strong	,	primary	colors	,	to	its	defiant	use	of	unsophisticated	lighting	set	ups	.	the	closing	shots	of	the	building	complex	may	or	may	not	be	a	reference	to	godard's	denunciation	of	soulless	low	cost	housing	and	living	in	his	film	one	or	two	things	i	know	about	her	.	but	anyone	who	knows	european	public	housing	will	see	the	validity	of	those	simple	,	emblematic	images	.	in	speech	and	deed	,	there's	much	bawdiness	,	with	parodistic	sex	scenes	and	rabelaisian	glee	at	bodily	functions	and	references	to	them	.	the	subtitles	try	much	too	hard	to	render	the	spanish	slang	into	english	slang	,	with	unintentionally	funny	results	and	misspellings	:	you	get	sonny	for	sony	,	smak	for	smack	,	nitwuit	,	or	cryptic	things	like	"	my	j'ug	.	"	what	i	have	done	is	not	a	"	finished	"	product	by	ordinary	standards	.	i	say	this	as	a	compliment	to	its	convention	defying	nature	,	to	its	maverick	power	,	the	method	in	its	madness	,	and	the	consistently	ironical	view	of	a	world	which	is	askew	.	it	is	certainly	one	of	the	most	interesting	films	shown	in	the	us	in	1988	.	review	written	in	1988	.	1996	addenda	:	(	1	)	many	sources	in	us	film	guides	give	it	erroneously	a	1985	release	date	.	(	2	)	the	roald	dahl	story	and	or	its	main	trick	found	their	way	into	tv	programs	of	the	alfred	hitchcock	presents	type	,	as	well	as	in	features	.
neg	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonthe	corruptor	is	a	big	silly	mess	of	an	action	movie	,	complete	with	pointless	plot	turns	and	gratuitous	violence	.	it's	not	abhorrent	,	or	even	blatantly	unlikable	,	but	it	doesn't	make	a	shred	of	sense	.	and	whose	idea	was	it	to	have	the	director	of	glengarry	glen	ross	direct	an	action	film	?	james	foley	knows	a	lot	about	characters	and	acting	,	and	those	are	the	strengths	of	the	corruptor	.	but	the	quiet	scenes	clash	with	the	ludicrous	action	nonsense	,	and	the	result	is	less	like	a	movie	and	more	like	a	derailed	train	.	at	least	we	have	chow	yun	fat	in	the	lead	role	.	chow	plays	nick	chen	,	a	chinatown	cop	.	he's	a	good	cop	,	as	the	first	few	scenes	establish	,	and	he's	very	familiar	with	chinatown	.	that's	probably	why	the	powers	that	be	decide	to	team	him	up	with	a	rookie	named	danny	wallace	(	mark	wahlberg	)	.	nick	and	danny	begin	by	stepping	on	each	other's	toes	,	but	finally	end	up	liking	each	other	once	they	both	get	a	chance	to	save	the	other	one's	life	.	what	happens	after	that	is	kind	of	a	mystery	to	me	.	i'm	fairly	certain	that	the	villains	are	all	part	of	the	fukienese	dragons	,	led	by	a	young	chinese	psycho	named	bobby	vu	(	byron	mann	)	.	i'm	also	pretty	sure	that	nick	is	on	the	payroll	of	henry	lee	(	ric	young	)	,	a	gangster	dealing	in	prostitutes	and	other	neat	stuff	.	i'm	not	quite	sure	why	henry	lee	decides	to	employ	danny	,	although	this	makes	for	some	ridiculous	(	albeit	unpredictable	)	plot	twists	along	the	way	.	there's	also	an	interesting	subplot	revolving	around	danny's	father	(	brian	cox	)	,	but	it	doesn't	have	much	to	do	with	the	main	story	.	one	of	the	problems	,	as	i	said	,	is	that	the	movie	doesn't	make	any	sense	.	i	don't	blame	this	entirely	on	foley	,	because	he's	obviously	a	good	director	.	i'm	more	inclined	to	point	my	finger	at	robert	pucci's	script	,	which	doesn't	seem	to	be	in	tune	to	the	way	normal	people	act	.	one	scene	early	on	had	me	particularly	annoyed	:	nick	confronts	his	boss	because	he's	angry	about	his	new	white	partner	.	he's	shouting	and	pointing	his	finger	and	stepping	on	the	furniture	,	and	i	was	thinking	that	i	would	have	fired	him	if	he	had	done	that	to	me	.	(	in	addition	,	the	film	takes	a	bite	into	race	related	issues	,	and	never	develops	them	at	all	.	)	there	are	a	lot	of	scenes	like	this	one	,	and	none	of	them	are	very	coherent	.	there's	also	a	considerable	language	barrier	,	given	that	chow	and	some	of	the	other	actors	have	thick	chinese	accents	.	the	plot	itself	never	straightens	out	.	i'm	not	sure	who	or	what	the	fukienese	dragons	are	,	or	why	henry	lee	is	associated	with	them	,	or	what	they	do	as	a	group	.	the	corruptor	is	an	action	movie	,	and	so	all	these	weird	plot	developments	are	decorated	with	loud	and	violent	action	sequences	.	the	sequences	aren't	bad	,	but	they're	not	new	;	how	many	car	chases	through	chinatown	have	you	seen	?	on	that	note	,	how	many	chinatown	cop	movies	have	you	seen	?	one	too	many	,	i'd	imagine	.	foley's	strength	is	clearly	in	characterization	,	and	he	does	a	pretty	good	job	here	.	the	scenes	between	nick	and	danny	are	very	good	,	and	i	actually	got	a	feel	for	their	characters	;	a	bond	forms	between	them	that	holds	parts	of	the	film	together	.	chow	and	wahlberg	are	both	good	actors	;	chow	is	a	pro	,	and	can	do	this	kind	of	stuff	in	his	sleep	.	wahlberg	seems	less	at	home	in	this	atmosphere	,	but	he's	still	fun	to	watch	.	i	also	liked	the	subplot	involving	danny's	father	;	brian	cox's	performance	is	powerful	,	and	his	character	makes	a	compelling	moral	compass	for	danny	.	but	the	film	ultimately	fails	,	mostly	at	the	hands	of	insane	incoherence	and	overly	familiar	action	scenes	.	a	complicated	plot	can	be	successful	,	but	the	story	needs	to	make	sense	when	it's	over	.	the	corruptor	never	manages	to	make	any	sense	it	just	keeps	spinning	out	of	control	until	,	finally	,	there's	nothing	left	to	hold	on	to	.
neg	directed	by	danny	cannon	.	cast	:	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	brandy	,	freddie	prinze	jr	.	,	matthew	settle	,	mekhi	phifer	,	jennifer	esposito	,	bill	cobbs	,	jeffrey	combs	,	jack	black	,	muse	watson	.	1998	96	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	gore	,	profanity	,	and	drug	use	)	.	reviewed	november	14	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	so	much	for	sweet	returns	.	after	smart	horror	films	were	starting	to	be	made	again	after	the	exploitative	80's	slasher	movies	,	starting	with	1996's	"	scream	,	"	and	followed	by	"	scream	2	,	"	"	urban	legend	,	"	and	the	original	,	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	"	a	film	like	,	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	"	was	bound	to	be	made	sooner	or	late	.	it	is	a	perfect	example	of	the	exact	reason	why	horror	films	temporarily	burned	out	,	and	that	is	because	they	reached	for	the	lowest	common	denominator	in	filmmaking	,	favoring	non	stop	deaths	and	gore	for	suspense	,	and	trading	in	fleshed	out	,	likable	characters	for	one	dimensional	nitwits	.	it	has	been	exactly	one	year	since	julie	james	(	jennifer	love	hewitt	)	suffered	through	the	ordeal	of	being	terrorized	by	ben	willis	,	a	psychopathic	fisherman	whom	her	friends	and	she	accidentally	hit	in	the	middle	of	the	road	,	and	then	,	thinking	he	was	dead	,	dumped	him	into	the	ocean	.	since	then	,	julie	has	relocated	to	boston	university	,	and	although	often	paranoid	and	haunted	by	bad	dreams	,	she	has	been	able	to	put	her	life	back	together	.	when	julie's	friend	,	karla	(	brandy	)	,	is	called	up	by	a	radio	station	and	answers	correctly	what	the	capital	of	brazil	is	,	she	wins	a	vacation	to	the	bahamas	for	four	people	,	which	also	includes	karla's	horny	boyfriend	,	tyrell	(	mekhi	phifer	)	,	and	will	(	matthew	settle	)	,	who	karla	sets	julie	up	with	after	her	own	boyfriend	,	ray	(	freddie	prinze	jr	.	,	also	returning	from	the	original	)	,	doesn't	show	up	.	when	they	reach	the	secluded	island	,	they	discover	it	is	the	last	day	of	the	open	season	,	and	will	be	stranded	there	for	the	4th	of	july	weekend	with	a	few	employees	to	fend	off	a	violent	storm	headed	for	them	.	of	course	,	julie	,	her	friends	,	and	the	workers	aren't	the	only	ones	there	,	as	the	murderous	ben	willis	,	dressed	in	fisherman	garb	,	returns	to	seek	revenge	on	julie	once	and	for	all	.	it	is	a	sad	state	of	affairs	when	a	movie	like	,	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	"	is	made	.	i	am	a	very	big	fan	of	horror	movies	,	and	so	it	is	especially	disheartening	to	find	out	that	this	sequel	to	"	ikwydls	,	"	which	i	am	a	fan	of	,	is	almost	an	exact	replica	of	a	"	friday	the	13th	"	movie	.	while	the	original	focused	more	on	the	story	and	characters	,	as	well	as	genuinely	suspenseful	moments	,	thanks	to	the	screenplay	by	kevin	williamson	(	who	didn't	return	to	write	the	sequel	,	and	it	shows	)	,	"	i	still	know	.	.	.	"	has	no	story	to	speak	of	,	and	is	so	vacuous	of	ideas	,	that	the	filmmakers	,	were	forced	to	have	a	murder	occur	every	five	minutes	just	to	keep	the	audience	interested	.	also	gone	are	any	signs	of	character	development	,	and	since	every	single	character	died	before	i	got	to	know	them	,	all	i	was	left	with	was	to	stare	at	the	screen	,	indifferent	to	what	was	going	on	.	while	i	cared	about	the	fates	of	the	characters	in	the	original	,	it	made	no	difference	to	me	in	this	sequel	who	lived	and	died	.	they	were	all	paper	thin	and	pointless	,	except	to	become	victims	to	the	lethal	hook	of	the	fisherman	.	another	element	that	made	the	original	so	memorable	were	some	superbly	crafted	set	pieces	,	like	the	store	sequence	with	sarah	michelle	gellar	,	but	there	are	none	to	speak	of	in	this	sequel	(	although	they	do	come	close	at	one	moment	with	brandy	)	.	since	so	many	people	were	killed	every	couple	minutes	,	the	suspense	and	scares	evaporated	faster	than	salt	in	water	.	also	of	note	is	the	mystery	of	the	second	killer	,	and	accomplice	to	ben	,	but	it	is	obvious	from	the	first	frame	who	it	is	,	and	so	i	couldn't	even	have	fun	at	that	,	like	i	did	in	the	"	scream	"	movies	and	,	"	urban	legend	.	"	it	figures	that	just	as	slasher	films	were	starting	to	get	some	recognition	again	,	a	film	would	come	along	and	ruin	it	for	everyone	else	.	maybe	the	people	who	made	,	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	"	should	have	realized	that	in	order	to	make	a	good	movie	,	you	must	have	a	screenplay	or	at	least	one	that	isn't	such	a	black	hole	for	thoughts	and	ideas	.	the	ending	of	the	film	inevitably	leaves	the	door	wide	open	for	a	third	part	,	but	judging	from	this	amazingly	lackluster	first	sequel	,	everyone	involved	should	have	quit	while	they	were	still	ahead	.
neg	united	states	,	1998	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	5	20	98	(	wide	)	running	length	:	2	:	12	mpaa	classification	:	pg	13	(	typical	monster	movie	disaster	scenario	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	2	.	35	:	1	cast	:	matthew	broderick	,	jean	reno	,	hank	azaria	,	maria	pitillo	,	kevin	dunn	,	michael	lerner	,	harry	shearer	,	arabella	field	director	:	roland	emmerich	producers	:	dean	devlin	screenplay	:	dean	devlin	,	roland	emmerich	cinematography	:	ueli	steiger	music	:	david	arnold	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	tristar	pictures	godzilla	is	the	ultimate	culmination	of	the	"	who	cares	about	plot	"	summer	movie	.	a	loose	remake	of	the	1954	"	classic	"	japanese	monster	movie	,	godzilla	,	king	of	the	monsters	(	which	is	itself	pretty	thin	in	the	story	department	)	,	roland	emmerich	and	dean	devlin's	big	budget	lizard	stomps	manhattan	disaster	flick	has	been	written	with	the	brain	dead	in	mind	.	the	script	isn't	just	"	dumbed	down	,	"	it's	lobotomized	.	godzilla	lives	and	dies	on	special	effects	alone	.	presumably	,	the	primary	target	group	for	this	film	is	teenage	boys	,	the	demographic	most	likely	to	shell	out	7	repeatedly	to	see	the	same	images	of	monster	instigated	carnage	.	that's	not	to	say	that	females	and	other	age	groups	are	immune	to	the	special	effects	seduction	;	they're	just	not	as	readily	susceptible	.	this	is	the	third	straight	movie	in	a	row	where	emmerich	and	devlin	have	demonstrated	that	a	mastery	of	computer	generated	visuals	is	far	more	important	for	making	money	than	the	ability	to	write	and	direct	for	actors	.	stargate	was	a	financial	success	.	independence	day	was	a	runaway	hit	.	and	,	with	godzilla	already	drowning	in	hype	and	merchandising	tie	ins	before	it	even	opens	,	it's	virtually	guaranteed	at	least	100	million	.	nice	numbers	for	a	film	that	could	have	been	penned	by	a	not	too	precocious	grade	school	kid	.	godzilla	isn't	completely	without	merit	,	although	it	is	close	.	there's	a	certain	visceral	thrill	inherent	in	watching	the	giant	lizard	rip	his	way	through	manhattan	,	but	it	wears	off	quickly	.	frankly	,	while	the	special	effects	are	competent	,	they're	not	all	that	stunning	.	there's	nothing	new	here	;	it's	jurassic	park	meets	aliens	,	with	a	little	independence	day	thrown	in	for	bad	measure	.	maybe	it	will	require	george	lucas	and	his	new	star	wars	movie	to	take	computer	generated	visuals	to	the	next	level	.	godzilla	never	really	pushes	the	envelope	,	preferring	to	remain	within	a	comfort	zone	.	the	imagination	of	monster	movies	like	king	kong	has	been	replaced	by	a	crass	,	formulaic	approach	which	disallows	creativity	.	(	how	disturbing	is	it	to	know	that	godzilla	has	been	chosen	to	close	the	51st	cannes	film	festival	?	)	worst	of	all	,	godzilla	isn't	even	exciting	.	with	the	possible	exception	of	a	mildly	enjoyable	car	chase	near	the	end	,	there	isn't	a	sequence	in	this	film	that	raises	the	pulse	.	even	the	scenes	with	dozens	of	aircraft	attacking	the	monster	are	so	devoid	of	tension	and	suspense	that	they	are	yawn	provoking	.	independence	day	may	have	been	dumb	,	but	it	was	full	of	"	adrenaline	moments	"	capable	of	getting	the	audience	involved	in	the	action	.	in	this	aspect	of	its	production	,	as	in	so	many	others	,	godzilla	is	lacking	.	actually	,	part	of	the	problem	is	that	we're	never	sure	who	we're	supposed	to	be	rooting	for	:	the	green	monster	with	an	attitude	or	the	paper	thin	humans	trying	to	stop	him	.	the	plot	,	such	as	it	is	,	can	be	summed	up	rather	simply	.	after	sinking	a	few	ships	and	leaving	some	footprints	on	tropical	islands	,	godzilla	shows	up	in	the	big	apple	.	he	does	some	of	the	usual	tourist	things	:	stops	by	madison	square	garden	,	visits	the	chrysler	building	,	goes	on	a	walk	through	central	park	,	and	takes	the	subway	.	in	the	process	,	he	knocks	over	a	few	buildings	and	steps	on	countless	cabs	,	but	he	never	has	trouble	with	traffic	jams	.	on	hand	to	stop	him	is	an	elite	u	.	s	.	army	unit	,	led	by	a	slightly	less	arrogant	than	usual	military	man	(	kevin	dunn	)	and	a	biologist	named	nick	tatopoulos	,	who	has	a	theory	about	godzilla	.	in	his	opinion	,	the	big	guy	is	actually	a	lizard	grown	to	enormous	proportions	as	a	result	of	the	radiation	given	off	by	french	atomic	bomb	tests	in	the	south	pacific	.	in	nick's	words	,	godzilla	is	"	a	mutated	aberration	an	incipient	creature	the	first	of	its	kind	.	"	as	luck	would	have	it	,	nick's	old	girlfriend	,	audrey	(	maria	pitillo	)	,	is	a	reporter	based	at	a	new	york	tv	station	.	along	with	her	cameraman	friend	,	animal	(	hank	azaria	)	,	she	decides	to	follow	nick	around	as	he	trails	godzilla	.	then	,	just	when	the	military	has	rejected	nick's	theory	about	why	godzilla	is	in	new	york	,	a	member	of	the	french	secret	service	(	jean	reno	)	recruits	him	for	a	special	assignment	.	instead	of	stomping	around	tokyo	this	time	,	godzilla	has	chosen	new	york	city	.	unfortunately	,	manhattan	has	been	destroyed	so	many	times	in	recent	disaster	movies	(	independence	day	,	deep	impact	,	armageddon	)	that	it's	becoming	boring	.	the	whole	tradition	of	monsters	roaming	around	the	city	started	with	king	kong	,	but	the	big	ape	was	only	about	30	feet	tall	.	he	could	climb	the	empire	state	building	.	at	ten	times	that	height	,	godzilla	would	be	more	likely	to	knock	it	over	.	godzilla	contains	a	few	lame	attempts	at	humor	.	there's	an	ongoing	feud	between	animal	and	his	wife	that	plays	like	sit	com	material	,	an	unfunny	and	repetitive	gag	about	how	no	one	can	pronounce	nick's	last	name	properly	,	and	a	rather	tame	attack	on	film	critics	roger	ebert	and	gene	siskel	.	both	of	the	popular	personalities	have	alter	egos	in	the	film	:	"	ebert	,	"	the	mayor	of	new	york	,	is	played	by	michael	lerner	,	and	"	gene	"	(	lorry	goldman	)	is	his	campaign	manager	.	ebert's	re	election	slogan	is	,	not	surprisingly	,	"	thumbs	up	for	new	york	.	"	the	siskel	ebert	stuff	is	amusing	the	first	time	it's	used	,	but	,	after	a	while	,	it	grows	tiresome	.	and	,	although	the	"	characters	"	don't	serve	any	real	purpose	,	they	keep	popping	up	.	godzilla	is	saddled	with	an	unimpressive	cast	.	this	is	largely	because	emmerich	doesn't	want	to	risk	a	human	performance	upstaging	his	lizard	.	that's	not	to	say	that	matthew	broderick	and	jean	reno	aren't	capable	of	good	performances	(	both	have	done	their	share	of	solid	acting	in	the	past	)	,	but	they	aren't	a	list	names	.	then	again	,	considering	the	quality	of	the	writing	,	even	pacino	and	deniro	would	have	been	hard	pressed	to	shine	.	maria	pitillo	(	dear	god	)	plays	the	love	interest	and	hank	azaria	(	great	expectations	)	is	on	hand	to	present	what	is	supposed	to	be	comic	relief	.	ultimately	,	it	doesn't	really	matter	what	i	(	or	any	other	critic	,	for	that	matter	)	have	to	say	about	the	movie	.	tristar	has	assumed	that	godzilla	,	like	all	self	proclaimed	summer	event	motion	pictures	,	is	pretty	much	critic	proof	.	it	may	also	be	word	of	mouth	proof	.	those	who	want	to	see	the	movie	will	see	it	no	matter	what	i	write	or	their	friends	say	.	so	,	when	i	go	on	record	to	assert	that	godzilla	is	one	of	the	most	idiotic	blockbuster	movies	of	all	time	,	it's	like	spitting	into	the	wind	.	emmerich	and	devlin	are	master	illusionists	,	waving	their	wands	and	mesmerizing	audiences	with	their	smoke	and	mirrors	.	it's	probably	too	much	to	hope	that	some	day	,	movie	goers	will	wake	up	and	realize	that	they've	been	had	.
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	uip	on	june	2	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	115	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	jonathan	mostow	;	produced	by	dino	de	laurentiis	,	martha	de	laurentiis	.	written	by	david	ayer	,	sam	montgomery	,	jonathan	mostow	.	photographed	by	oliver	wood	;	edited	by	wayne	wahrman	.	cast	.	.	.	.	.	matthew	mcconaughey	.	.	.	.	.	lieutenant	tyler	bill	paxton	.	.	.	.	.	lieutenant	commander	mike	dahlgren	harvey	keitel	.	.	.	.	.	chief	klough	jon	bon	jovi	.	.	.	.	.	lieutenant	pete	emmett	matthew	settle	.	.	.	.	.	larson	david	keith	.	.	.	.	.	marine	major	coonan	jake	weber	.	.	.	.	.	lieutenant	hirsch	"	the	moment	i	get	confused	,	i	check	out	of	the	movie	.	when	all	of	a	sudden	stuff	starts	happening	,	and	i	don't	know	where	i'm	at	.	.	.	well	,	i	think	an	audience	has	,	like	,	an	umbilical	cord	to	the	screen	,	and	it	gets	severed	when	confusion	comes	in	.	"	quentin	tarantino	well	put	.	that's	exactly	what	happened	to	me	right	in	the	middle	of	"	u	571	"	.	submarine	movies	are	inevitably	going	to	be	claustrophobic	,	sweaty	,	noisy	and	dark	tension	turns	this	into	masterful	entertainment	,	confusion	kills	it	.	the	setting	is	world	war	two	.	a	squad	in	the	u	.	s	.	navy	,	led	by	bill	paxton	and	matthew	mcconaughey	,	have	been	ordered	to	seize	a	german	u	boat	that	carries	the	radio	codes	used	by	nazi	submarines	to	plan	attacks	on	allied	shipping	.	the	movie	opens	with	a	clich	introducing	us	to	all	the	boys	at	a	big	gala	,	before	an	urgent	telegram	comes	in	,	informing	them	to	return	to	their	posts	but	there	was	still	hope	for	the	film	at	this	point	,	because	it	has	a	promising	appearance	,	with	period	texture	perfectly	captured	.	people	looked	,	talked	and	walked	differently	in	the	1940s	;	they	had	different	ways	of	eating	,	washing	,	learning	,	wearing	clothes	.	many	period	films	just	plant	obviously	contemporary	figures	among	archaic	props	,	but	the	director	of	"	u	571	"	,	jonathan	mostow	,	gets	the	details	just	right	.	there	is	tension	on	the	boat	before	the	big	attack	.	it's	a	risky	assignment	,	having	to	seize	this	sub	,	and	these	guys	are	sailors	,	not	combat	soldiers	.	if	it	goes	wrong	,	not	only	is	everyone	dead	,	but	the	germans	will	change	their	codes	and	tighten	their	security	,	and	that	may	have	implications	for	the	outcome	of	the	war	.	at	the	decisive	moment	of	action	,	when	the	americans	sneak	onto	the	german	boat	by	posing	as	a	supply	ship	,	i	got	completely	lost	as	to	what	was	going	on	.	one	of	the	sailors	plants	dynamite	somewhere	,	and	we	can't	tell	if	he's	supposed	to	be	doing	so	or	not	.	something	explodes	elsewhere	,	and	the	cause	is	never	made	clear	.	someone	thinks	they've	found	a	code	book	,	and	we're	not	sure	if	they	have	or	not	.	a	load	of	americans	end	up	in	the	water	for	no	reason	,	and	they	don't	swim	the	few	metres	back	to	their	sub	,	they	just	scream	and	drown	.	why	?	this	isn't	one	of	those	battle	scenes	that's	supposed	to	disorientate	us	.	it's	an	incompetently	shot	beginning	to	the	film's	middle	section	.	so	,	with	my	umbilical	cord	severed	,	i	found	it	hard	to	watch	the	rest	of	the	film	,	with	the	guys	in	the	submarine	shouting	impenetrable	jargon	and	running	around	tight	spaces	,	often	with	no	clear	purpose	.	the	scenes	i	did	manage	to	follow	were	repetitive	and	silly	:	every	now	and	again	a	new	obstacle	would	come	up	,	and	mcconaughey	would	give	an	order	as	to	how	to	combat	it	.	two	of	the	other	men	would	take	separate	turns	to	repeat	these	instructions	verbatim	,	in	hushed	awe	.	it	would	be	carried	out	to	the	letter	,	and	work	.	then	they'd	repeat	it	back	to	themselves	,	and	say	"	phew	!	"	even	some	of	the	visual	effects	are	shoddy	.	i'm	amazed	that	hollywood	seems	to	be	going	backwards	in	this	respect	two	or	three	years	ago	complimenting	a	movie's	technological	wizardry	seemed	redundant	,	but	now	,	with	releases	such	as	"	battlefield	earth	"	on	our	screens	,	we	seem	to	have	returned	to	the	days	of	shoddy	"	star	wars	"	rip	offs	.	"	u	571	"	has	a	torpedo	attack	that	looks	like	it	was	shot	by	a	kid	throwing	toys	at	a	camcorder	in	the	bathtub	.	and	in	the	shots	where	people	are	supposed	to	be	drowning	,	they	look	awfully	in	control	:	remember	the	scene	with	the	rubber	octopus	in	"	ed	wood	"	?	i	feel	sympathy	for	mostow	,	who	spent	eight	years	of	his	life	on	this	project	,	and	has	come	out	with	something	that	can't	be	taken	seriously	.	it	did	fill	me	with	respect	for	world	war	two	veterans	,	but	only	in	the	sense	that	if	their	experiences	were	anything	near	as	stifling	or	boring	as	the	movie	,	then	it's	amazing	they	managed	to	carry	on	making	important	strategic	decisions	.	the	end	credits	reveal	,	by	the	way	,	that	it	was	the	british	,	not	the	americans	,	who	were	actually	the	heroes	of	the	german	code	breaking	operation	.	how	nice	that	the	filmmakers	thought	to	tell	us	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	much	ado	about	nothing	.	ah	,	how	sweet	the	irony	!	it's	accepted	wisdom	in	some	circles	among	english	literature	nuts	,	mainly	that	whenever	a	critic	knocks	shakespeare	they	are	only	doing	so	through	ignorance	.	he	just	doesn't	"	understand	"	shakespeare	,	you	will	hear	them	say	.	the	bard's	work	is	apparently	beyond	criticism	.	what	a	load	of	old	cobblers	.	if	these	arbiters	of	public	taste	think	kenneth	branaugh's	film	of	shakespeare's	"	comedy	"	much	ado	about	nothing	is	comedy	in	any	modern	sense	of	the	word	,	it's	time	to	get	a	life	.	get	monty	python	.	get	woody	allen	.	get	john	waters	.	whatever	.	just	get	a	real	taste	of	some	clever	,	witty	,	risky	comedy	.	and	banish	this	nonsense	to	where	it	belongs	.	drama	and	tragedy	was	shakespeare's	strength	.	to	my	sensibilities	and	i'm	no	stick	in	the	mud	much	ado	about	nothing	resonates	with	no	spark	whatsoever	.	no	kidding	:	this	film	ranks	among	the	most	embarrassing	two	hours	i	have	ever	spent	in	a	cinema	in	my	20	years	of	movie	going	.	the	only	thing	that	stopped	me	walking	out	was	loyalty	to	my	lady	friend	,	as	this	was	our	day	out	and	i	hadn't	seen	her	in	ages	.	but	boy	,	does	she	owe	me	one	!	i	won't	spend	too	much	time	on	the	plot	.	basically	,	we	follow	the	trials	and	tribulations	of	two	would	be	couples	one	young	,	the	other	older	.	there's	some	dark	treachery	amongst	all	this	,	but	everyone	is	so	awfully	jolly	that	you'd	hardly	know	it	.	mind	you	,	there's	nothing	wrong	with	the	basic	story	.	good	romantic	comedies	based	on	similar	premises	abound	.	nothing	wrong	with	most	of	the	cast	,	either	.	branaugh	,	emma	thompson	and	denzel	washington	are	all	talented	performers	.	the	problem	is	the	script	,	or	more	accurately	,	shakespeare's	original	text	.	light	comedy	shouldn't	be	complex	.	yet	wrapped	in	elizabethan	english	,	the	dialogue	becomes	difficult	to	comprehend	.	for	this	alone	it	will	be	a	problem	for	modern	audiences	unschooled	in	shakespeare	and	in	search	of	nothing	more	than	a	good	,	undemanding	laugh	.	the	only	laughs	to	escape	my	belly	were	brought	on	by	the	gloriously	inept	performance	of	keanu	reeves	,	the	actor	once	again	miscast	as	a	jealous	half	brother	or	something	.	but	when	dissected	and	understood	,	what	it	all	boils	down	to	is	that	this	stuff	is	just	so	goddamn	lame	.	this	is	comedy	so	clean	and	nice	and	corny	and	so	devoid	of	danger	that	it	leaves	this	viewer	totally	cold	.	ho	,	ho	,	ho	,	boy	likes	girl	!	ho	,	ho	,	ho	,	men	are	such	klutzes	!	ho	,	ho	,	ho	,	she's	so	awfully	clumsy	!	oh	please	!	there's	wit	in	here	somewhere	,	i'm	told	.	i	call	it	pretentious	.	something	lightweight	striving	to	be	something	sophisticated	through	clever	wordplay	.	in	the	end	,	it's	cringeworthy	.	watching	some	of	the	cinema	patrons	around	me	collapse	with	laughter	made	much	ado	about	nothing	a	very	weird	movie	going	experience	.	comedy	?	bah	,	humbug	!
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	path	on	may	26	,	2000	;	certificate	18	;	110	minutes	;	country	of	origin	uk	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	david	a	.	stewart	;	produced	by	eileen	gregory	,	michael	peiser	.	written	by	dick	clement	,	ian	la	frenais	,	david	a	.	stewart	,	karen	lee	street	.	photographed	by	david	johnson	;	edited	by	david	martin	.	"	honest	"	is	too	confident	and	professional	to	really	be	called	bad	,	but	it's	still	a	bewildering	mess	.	there's	too	much	going	on	in	terms	of	art	direction	and	too	much	going	nowhere	in	terms	of	plot	,	and	although	it's	intended	as	a	star	vehicle	for	the	pop	group	all	saints	,	two	of	them	are	hardly	ever	onscreen	and	the	third	plays	a	character	who	hides	her	feelings	.	i	have	a	question	for	the	four	screenwriters	:	what	the	hell	is	this	movie	about	,	why	does	it	take	so	long	to	get	going	,	is	it	comic	or	dramatic	,	and	who	is	the	main	player	?	those	all	saints	girls	nicole	appleton	,	natalie	appleton	and	melanie	blatt	play	three	sisters	in	the	east	end	of	london	in	the	1960s	.	they	dress	up	as	men	and	pull	armed	robberies	,	but	the	folks	in	the	neighbourhood	don't	know	this	,	and	think	they're	just	a	bunch	of	harmless	young	tarts	.	during	one	botched	heist	of	a	magazine	office	,	an	american	hippie	journalist	,	daniel	wheaton	(	peter	facinelli	)	,	captures	and	then	proceeds	to	fall	in	love	with	nicole's	character	,	gerry	.	most	of	the	movie	is	taken	up	by	him	following	her	around	,	and	her	telling	him	she's	not	interested	(	but	not	why	)	,	and	then	he	gets	entangled	in	a	big	violent	chase	,	as	the	girls'	criminal	pasts	catch	up	with	them	.	this	probably	sounds	dull	and	confusing	,	and	it	is	,	not	least	because	it's	all	that	happens	in	the	movie	.	things	take	forever	to	unfold	,	and	yet	somehow	nothing	is	ever	fleshed	out	.	the	three	sisters	never	have	a	conversation	that	tells	us	anything	about	their	personalities	all	their	lines	are	questions	,	answers	,	orders	or	points	of	information	.	the	script	tries	to	use	some	of	gerry	and	daniel's	exchanges	to	compare	the	revolutionaries	of	the	1960s	with	the	unchanging	working	class	,	but	nothing	much	is	made	of	this	theme	,	because	"	honest	"	does	not	give	us	a	convincing	re	creation	of	its	time	.	it	doesn't	so	much	take	place	in	the	60s	as	in	one	of	those	"	austin	powers	"	style	pieces	of	production	design	overkill	that	pretend	to	be	the	60s	by	teeming	with	joints	,	psychedelic	polka	dot	clothes	,	people	saying	"	far	out	!	"	and	hit	songs	blasting	out	of	every	radio	.	lazy	critics	will	blame	the	failure	of	this	movie	on	the	all	saints	,	or	on	the	director	,	the	eurythmics'	dave	stewart	,	who	are	all	musicians	making	their	film	debuts	.	but	it's	not	their	fault	that	they	can't	make	sense	of	a	script	in	which	nothing	happens	for	long	stretches	,	and	there	is	no	real	focus	for	anything	,	or	reason	for	the	period	setting	.	it's	not	that	i	wasn't	paying	attention	i	watched	"	honest	"	so	attentively	that	i	even	noticed	the	in	jokes	on	the	road	signs	of	the	sets	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	the	original	kings	of	comedy	(	2000	)	1	2directed	by	spike	lee	.	starring	steve	harvey	,	dl	hughley	,	cedric	the	entertainer	,	bernie	mac	.	running	time	:	115	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	mature	subject	matter	and	coarse	language	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	september	12th	,	2000	.	that's	a	cliche	,	to	be	sure	,	but	it's	also	true	.	much	of	it	comes	from	the	fact	that	the	act	of	killing	is	reasonably	straightforward	,	whereas	making	people	laugh	is	considerably	more	elusive	.	and	,	by	extension	,	it's	because	while	being	dead	is	a	pretty	objective	state	(	certain	metaphysical	concerns	notwithstanding	)	,	being	funny	is	a	lot	more	personal	and	subjective	.	what	i	find	absolutely	uproarious	might	be	stupid	or	silly	or	just	plain	boring	to	somebody	else	.	sense	of	humour	is	as	individual	as	we	are	.	as	such	,	i	will	not	really	attempt	to	assess	how	funny	"	the	original	kings	of	comedy	"	is	.	i	will	merely	indicate	that	i	didn't	find	it	at	all	amusing	.	certainly	,	there	were	moments	which	elicited	a	few	chuckles	,	but	i	spent	most	of	the	film's	nearly	two	hour	duration	sitting	in	my	seat	slack	jawed	,	wondering	what	i	was	missing	.	because	not	only	does	the	audience	in	the	movie	clearly	love	the	act	(	it'd	be	a	curious	concert	film	otherwise	!	)	but	many	others	at	the	screening	i	attended	got	a	kick	out	of	it	too	.	so	the	humour	in	the	picture	clearly	has	an	appeal	just	not	for	me	.	all	that	said	,	though	,	there	are	aspects	of	"	the	original	kings	of	comedy	"	which	are	candidates	for	discussion	and	which	are	not	quite	so	subjective	as	the	quality	(	or	lack	thereof	)	of	its	humour	.	it	is	in	many	ways	a	very	flawed	undertaking	and	while	those	who	appreciate	its	brand	of	comedy	may	be	able	to	overlook	this	,	it	makes	the	experience	all	the	more	intolerable	for	those	who	do	not	.	"	the	original	kings	of	comedy	"	is	spliced	together	by	director	spike	lee	from	two	performances	in	charlotte	,	on	february	26th	and	27th	of	this	year	.	the	show	consists	of	four	respected	(	if	not	exactly	famous	)	black	comedians	plying	their	trade	.	dl	hughley	,	cedric	the	entertainer	,	and	bernie	mac	are	presented	in	single	individual	segments	running	about	thirty	minutes	each	.	introducing	each	act	is	steve	harvey	,	which	is	to	basically	say	that	harvey	gets	three	separate	ten	minute	blocks	of	stage	time	to	put	on	his	act	instead	of	an	unbroken	half	hour	like	the	others	.	the	picture	is	also	peppered	with	brief	behind	the	scenes	clips	which	add	little	to	the	proceedings	as	a	whole	.	the	film's	major	problem	is	the	sheer	lack	of	variety	amongst	the	four	comedians	,	virtually	all	of	whose	humour	runs	along	similar	lines	.	all	four	indulge	in	lots	of	"	black	people	versus	white	people	"	commentary	(	which	is	often	hilarious	,	but	gets	really	tedious	on	its	umpteenth	iteration	in	the	span	of	two	hours	)	.	all	four	stay	confined	to	very	broad	based	topics	,	largely	eschewing	any	political	or	intellectual	commentary	.	and	all	of	them	lace	their	monologues	with	an	endless	litany	of	profanity	.	whereas	the	best	comedians	know	to	use	swearing	to	punctuate	their	punchlines	,	here	it	is	often	used	in	place	of	one	:	a	much	lower	brand	of	humour	for	sure	.	further	,	there	is	little	insight	offered	through	the	jokes	.	there	is	a	lot	of	racial	content	,	but	it	mostly	consists	of	potshots	at	caucasians	and	or	african	americans	.	certainly	,	we	are	afforded	only	the	barest	of	glimpses	into	what	it	is	like	to	be	a	black	man	in	america	.	these	comedians	are	happy	to	talk	about	the	world	around	them	,	but	reveal	precious	little	about	themselves	in	the	process	.	most	of	the	comedy	is	of	sitcom	variety	,	and	while	this	is	fine	in	half	hour	doses	on	prime	time	television	,	it	feels	like	an	opportunity	wasted	in	a	major	motion	picture	.	the	comedian	who	comes	closest	to	achieving	some	sort	of	relevance	with	his	segment	is	bernie	mac	,	who	discusses	the	effects	of	his	sister's	drug	habit	on	his	family	(	he	is	now	sharing	custody	of	her	three	children	with	his	brother	in	law	)	.	unfortunately	,	mac	couches	this	portion	of	his	monologue	in	exceedingly	unpleasant	jokes	,	constantly	referring	to	his	six	year	old	nephew	as	a	"	faggot	"	and	talking	about	physically	beating	his	own	child	.	mac's	brand	of	humor	is	extremely	edgy	,	maybe	too	much	so	;	it	makes	for	an	uncomfortable	performance	which	straddles	the	line	between	comedy	and	cruelty	and	,	perhaps	,	goes	a	little	too	far	.	mac's	half	hour	also	illustrates	the	restrictions	imposed	by	recording	the	film	in	a	live	environment	.	mac	has	a	thick	accent	(	as	does	cedric	,	to	a	lesser	extent	)	,	and	i	found	that	the	concert's	sound	facilities	obviously	a	poor	comparison	with	anything	that	would	be	taped	in	a	studio	often	distorted	his	words	to	the	point	of	unintelligibility	.	lee	is	also	occasionally	forced	to	choose	some	rather	poor	camera	angles	,	though	in	general	he	does	a	good	job	of	setting	things	up	to	capture	the	performers	at	the	best	possible	angles	.	of	the	four	comedians	,	i	found	harvey's	material	the	best	.	this	may	have	been	aided	by	the	fact	that	,	alone	amongst	the	quartet	,	his	screentime	is	split	up	,	so	that	he	does	not	overstay	his	welcome	.	intriguingly	,	harvey's	best	material	comes	when	he	is	adlibbing	to	the	audience	.	for	example	,	when	a	rastafarian	looking	man	in	the	front	row	tells	him	that	he's	doing	computer	technology	education	,	harvey	retorts	that	the	last	two	words	that	come	to	his	mind	when	he	looks	at	the	man	are	"	technology	"	.	.	.	or	"	education	"	.	he	also	has	a	few	amusing	rehearsed	skits	,	like	one	about	black	people	on	the	"	titanic	"	.	but	good	gags	like	this	are	few	and	far	between	.	i	found	"	the	original	kings	of	comedy	"	to	be	an	unpleasant	morass	,	a	sterile	waste	of	a	long	two	hours	.	maybe	my	sense	of	humour	just	isn't	geared	in	the	right	way	.	maybe	i'm	not	the	demographic	that	the	"	kings	"	are	appealing	to	.	i	guess	much	the	same	reaction	would	be	had	if	newfoundland's	comedy	troupe	buddy	wassisname	and	the	other	fellers	were	dropped	off	in	the	south	bronx	to	do	a	show	.	if	you	understand	the	reference	,	i	expect	you'll	see	the	point	.	if	you	don't	understand	the	reference	.	.	.	well	,	maybe	that	makes	the	point	,	too	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	originalkings	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	originalkings	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
neg	cast	:	howie	long	,	scott	glenn	,	william	forsythe	,	suzy	amis	,	christianne	hirt	director	:	dean	semler	producers	:	thomas	m	.	hammel	,	joseph	loeb	iii	,	matthew	weisman	screenplay	:	chris	soth	cinematography	:	stephen	f	.	windon	music	:	j	.	peter	robinson	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	twentieth	century	fox	i	can	think	of	three	reasons	why	howie	long	will	likely	never	be	a	major	action	star	:	1	.	he	doesn't	have	a	hard	to	decipher	accent	,	2	.	he	doesn't	always	speak	in	a	monotone	,	and	3	.	his	face	doesn't	always	wear	the	same	impassive	expression	.	in	short	,	the	former	nfl	player	turned	fox	sportscaster	turned	actor	is	too	good	to	be	bad	,	but	too	bad	to	be	good	.	unfortunately	,	the	same	cannot	be	said	of	his	first	star	vehicle	,	firestorm	,	which	is	just	plain	awful	.	one	of	the	most	glaring	problems	with	long	(	who	made	his	acting	debut	in	john	woo's	broken	arrow	)	is	that	he's	so	mediocre	that	he	often	blends	in	with	the	scenery	.	as	ace	firefighter	jesse	graves	,	long	is	supposed	to	be	playing	a	bigger	than	life	action	hero	the	kind	of	he	man	who	will	crash	through	a	flaming	door	to	save	a	child	or	parachute	into	a	burning	clearing	to	rescue	some	stupid	campers	.	unfortunately	,	despite	the	best	efforts	of	first	time	director	dean	semler	to	photograph	long	using	heroic	shots	that	make	kevin	costner's	work	in	the	postman	look	stark	,	jesse	turns	out	to	be	a	pretty	boring	good	guy	.	to	put	it	kindly	,	this	is	not	a	well	written	motion	picture	.	firestorm	is	a	collection	of	howlingly	bad	lines	set	against	a	backdrop	of	disaster	movie	clichs	which	,	taken	together	,	form	something	that	requires	a	level	of	viewer	inebriation	to	be	recognized	as	a	plot	.	the	only	reason	this	film	is	getting	one	star	(	instead	of	something	lower	)	is	that	most	of	the	fire	sequences	are	realistic	,	and	i	was	fascinated	by	the	meticulous	planning	that	must	have	been	necessary	to	stage	them	effectively	.	we're	introduced	to	our	big	burly	hero	one	afternoon	when	he	and	some	colleagues	jump	into	the	midst	of	a	forest	fire	to	save	a	group	of	people	.	during	this	sequence	,	our	big	burly	hero	proves	that	he's	also	a	sensitive	guy	by	risking	his	life	to	save	a	little	girl	and	her	dog	(	yes	,	the	dog	lives	)	from	being	broiled	alive	.	flash	forward	a	year	.	now	,	our	big	burly	hero	is	taking	over	as	chief	of	his	smokejumpers	association	,	replacing	outgoing	honcho	wynt	perkins	(	real	actor	scott	glenn	)	.	but	this	day	,	our	big	burly	hero's	first	in	charge	,	isn't	going	to	be	business	as	usual	.	a	group	of	nasty	escaped	criminals	have	set	a	wyoming	forest	alight	to	aid	their	flight	to	freedom	.	led	by	randy	earl	shaye	(	william	forsythe	)	,	the	sadistic	creep	who	must	be	killed	twice	to	really	die	,	they	pose	as	canadian	firefighters	who	somehow	got	lost	across	the	border	.	along	the	way	,	they	meet	and	take	hostage	the	damsel	in	distress	(	suzy	amis	)	.	eventually	,	our	big	burly	hero	is	placed	in	a	position	where	he	has	to	fight	the	fire	,	rescue	the	damsel	in	distress	,	defeat	the	sadistic	creep	who	must	be	killed	twice	to	really	die	,	and	restore	order	to	the	galaxy	.	firestorm's	director	,	dean	semler	,	is	a	former	cinematographer	(	he	won	an	academy	award	for	his	work	on	dances	with	wolves	)	,	so	it's	no	surprise	that	the	film	looks	good	.	unfortunately	,	that's	firestorm's	lone	asset	,	and	it	falters	near	the	end	,	when	computer	generated	special	effects	fill	up	the	screen	.	these	are	of	about	equal	quality	to	what	you	might	observe	on	a	nintendo	64	video	game	.	the	action	sequences	,	which	include	a	variety	of	chases	,	are	occasionally	interesting	,	but	never	invigorating	.	everyone	,	including	long	,	appears	to	be	going	through	the	motions	.	there	isn't	a	memorable	performance	to	be	found	from	beginning	to	end	,	unless	you	count	the	forest	fire	,	which	generates	some	heat	.	as	the	sadistic	creep	who	must	be	killed	twice	to	really	die	,	william	forsythe	lacks	panache	.	he's	worse	than	a	generic	bad	guy	;	he's	a	boring	generic	bad	guy	who	doesn't	have	any	snappy	one	liners	to	hurl	at	our	big	burly	hero	.	my	advice	to	scott	glenn	(	absolute	power	)	and	suzy	amis	(	titanic	)	is	to	accidentally	forget	this	film	the	next	time	they're	making	out	a	resume	.	there's	some	small	comfort	in	knowing	this	early	in	the	year	that	i	already	have	one	entry	for	my	bottom	10	list	.	(	at	least	i	hope	there	aren't	10	worse	films	than	this	.	)	and	i	know	i	wasn't	the	only	one	who	really	disliked	this	movie	.	as	the	audience	was	filing	out	of	the	screening	,	i	loitered	in	the	theater	lobby	to	catch	a	few	comments	.	the	general	consensus	seemed	to	be	that	,	although	the	movie	sucked	,	the	promotional	key	ring	was	cool	.	the	problem	is	that	fox	won't	be	giving	out	key	rings	to	regular	movie	goers	,	so	that	nixes	any	reason	to	see	firestorm	.
neg	year	:	1999	.	starring	edward	furlong	,	giuseppe	andrews	,	james	debello	,	sam	huntington	,	lin	shaye	,	natasha	lyonne	,	melanie	lynskey	,	shannon	tweed	,	kiss	(	gene	simmons	,	paul	stanley	,	ace	frehley	,	peter	criss	)	.	written	by	carl	v	.	dupr	.	directed	by	adam	rifkin	.	rated	r	.	one	of	the	responses	those	that	enjoy	"	detroit	rock	city	"	(	probably	kiss	fans	,	mostly	)	might	have	upon	first	glance	at	the	rating	i've	given	the	film	might	be	something	like	:	"	oh	,	that	casey's	gone	and	become	a	jaded	critic	on	us	.	just	what	did	he	expect	out	of	a	dumb	teenage	rock	n'	roll	movie	like	this	?	"	i'm	wondering	the	same	thing	.	i	feel	like	i	should	have	had	a	grand	time	with	"	detroit	rock	city	.	"	it's	the	sort	of	movie	i	wish	i	could've	had	a	lot	of	fun	with	,	but	i	didn't	.	i	just	didn't	.	surely	this	film	isn't	trying	to	win	any	major	awards	,	so	should	i	have	expected	an	oscar	caliber	film	?	no	,	but	i	expected	something	.	a	funny	joke	.	a	clever	prank	.	a	plot	development	.	anything	.	the	movie	never	delivers	.	you've	got	to	marvel	at	how	the	filmmakers	managed	to	come	up	with	a	movie	that	is	truly	about	nothing	.	"	detroit	rock	city	"	is	one	of	those	films	that	you	walk	out	of	after	the	credits	have	rolled	and	realize	that	you	just	spent	90	minutes	watching	a	movie	in	which	absolutely	nothing	happened	to	justify	the	film's	existence	,	and	it's	not	a	very	satisfying	realization	.	the	film	is	about	four	teenage	boys	,	all	huge	kiss	fans	from	cleveland	,	trying	to	get	into	a	kiss	concert	in	detroit	,	michigan	.	that's	it	.	there	is	no	big	plot	description	in	this	review	,	because	the	movie	has	very	little	plot	.	the	characters	are	hawk	(	edward	furlong	)	,	lex	(	giuseppe	andrews	)	,	trip	(	james	debello	)	,	and	jam	(	sam	huntington	)	.	they	have	a	garage	band	.	they're	pathetic	,	like	all	garage	bands	,	but	they	like	kiss	and	they	like	rock	n'	roll	,	so	i	guess	that	means	we	root	for	them	.	they	have	tickets	,	they	lose	them	.	they	get	more	tickets	,	they	lose	those	too	.	they	come	up	with	crazy	schemes	to	get	tickets	,	most	of	which	backfire	.	there's	not	much	more	to	it	.	frankly	,	it	becomes	a	little	less	than	exciting	to	see	them	try	to	get	kiss	tickets	about	halfway	through	the	film	,	when	a	total	of	eight	tickets	have	already	graced	the	boys'	hands	,	only	to	be	lost	because	of	their	sheer	stupidity	.	oh	,	and	jam	(	real	name	jeremiah	)	has	a	really	,	really	annoying	ultra	religious	mother	who	ought	to	be	reported	to	the	child	welfare	agency	.	she	doesn't	want	them	to	see	kiss	,	if	you	hadn't	figured	that	out	already	.	it's	really	quite	disheartening	to	see	such	a	fine	soundtrack	go	to	waste	in	a	pointless	movie	like	this	.	we've	got	plenty	of	kiss	,	along	with	some	ac	dc	,	ramones	,	and	thin	lizzy	.	then	again	,	"	maximum	overdrive	"	had	an	awesome	soundtrack	(	me	being	the	big	ac	dc	fan	that	i	am	)	,	but	is	probably	one	of	the	worst	movies	of	all	time	.	"	detroit	rock	city	"	doesn't	quite	reach	that	level	of	ineptitude	,	but	it	gets	dangerously	close	.	in	fact	,	the	music	is	the	only	thing	that	keeps	this	movie	from	being	a	complete	failure	in	my	mind	.	basically	,	the	soundtrack	has	earned	the	film	a	full	half	star	,	which	means	all	the	bands	involved	can	pat	themselves	on	the	back	(	except	for	marilyn	manson	,	whose	half	hearted	cover	of	ac	dc's	"	highway	to	hell	"	sounds	like	something	my	neighbor's	cat	coughed	up	)	.	it's	also	really	sad	to	see	the	talents	of	the	cast	go	to	waste	,	because	it'	s	evident	that	they're	all	trying	really	hard	to	squeeze	some	life	out	of	this	dead	turkey	of	a	movie	.	edward	furlong	has	done	far	better	work	than	this	,	and	so	has	natasha	lyonne	,	and	so	has	lin	shaye	,	but	hey	,	they've	got	to	make	a	living	in	hollywood	.	people	wanting	to	see	kiss	,	and	lots	of	it	will	probably	be	disappointed	,	considering	the	band	appears	for	about	five	minutes	and	plays	one	song	.	too	bad	,	they	might	have	provided	some	energy	to	this	mess	.	director	adam	rifkin	knows	he	hasn't	got	much	material	to	work	with	,	so	he	takes	a	chapter	from	the	michael	bay	book	of	directing	and	keeps	his	camera	spinning	.	we	get	an	endless	parade	of	quick	cuts	,	split	screens	,	zoom	outs	,	zoom	ins	,	and	rotating	cameras	,	all	in	an	effort	to	cover	up	the	sheer	stupidity	of	the	script	.	it's	fun	for	a	while	,	but	eventually	it	becomes	disorienting	.	i	would	recommend	that	those	who	felt	seasick	at	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	stay	far	away	from	"	detroit	rock	city	,	"	because	the	witch	has	got	nothing	on	this	baby	.	i	haven't	felt	such	an	urge	to	reach	out	and	hold	the	camera	still	since	"	armageddon	.	"	and	what	about	that	script	?	it's	written	by	carl	j	.	dupr	,	which	sounds	like	as	made	up	a	name	as	i've	ever	heard	.	if	it	is	,	i	can't	say	i	blame	the	writer	for	distancing	himself	as	far	from	this	script	as	possible	.	a	plotless	,	pointless	rock	n'	roll	movie	can	be	fun	,	if	the	jokes	and	gags	are	actually	funny	.	the	jokes	in	"	detroit	rock	city	"	rarely	are	.	in	fact	,	the	only	time	i	really	laughed	was	when	a	priest	gets	stoned	on	a	marijuana	laced	pizza	,	and	that	was	just	because	it	was	so	surreal	.	the	rest	of	the	movie	just	seems	like	they	just	threw	a	bunch	of	vulgar	stuff	up	on	screen	and	called	it	"	comedy	.	"	there	is	no	set	up	,	just	a	succession	of	punchlines	that	don't	provide	for	much	in	the	way	of	chuckles	,	precisely	because	there	was	no	set	up	.	it's	as	if	they	just	whacked	someone	on	the	head	,	pointed	at	him	and	said	,	"	see	?	funny	!	"	look	,	that	woman	was	so	shocked	by	hearing	loud	kiss	music	that	she	spilled	her	drink	.	see	?	funny	!	look	,	that	guy	just	got	clocked	by	a	telephone	receiver	.	twice	.	see	?	funny	!	look	,	that	kid	has	been	vomiting	for	20	minutes	after	drinking	an	inordinate	amount	of	alcohol	and	is	now	about	to	perform	an	exotic	dance	for	money	.	see	?	funny	!	a	word	of	advice	to	mr	.	dupr	:	no	,	these	things	aren't	funny	all	by	themselves	.	they	must	be	preceded	by	a	clever	set	up	so	the	audience	hasn	't	predicted	them	five	minutes	in	advance	.	that's	it	,	i've	said	enough	about	this	movie	.	it's	a	waste	of	time	and	money	.	i	liked	the	music	,	but	don't	bother	buying	the	soundtrack	.	i	hear	it'	s	just	modern	bands	doing	inferior	versions	of	the	songs	that	are	actually	in	the	movie	.	you	want	to	see	this	concept	executed	well	?	go	rent	roger	corman's	1979	classic	"	rock	n'	roll	high	school	.	"	it	features	another	late	seventies	rock	band	(	the	ramones	)	and	a	far	more	interesting	story	about	a	girl	trying	to	get	tickets	to	their	show	.	yes	,	go	rent	that	,	and	skip	"	detroit	rock	city	,	"	which	will	probably	bomb	,	and	deservedly	so	.
neg	directed	by	:	roger	christian	written	by	:	l	.	ron	hubbard	(	novel	)	,	corey	mandell	once	in	a	great	while	there	comes	a	movie	which	is	regarded	as	an	instant	classic	.	movies	like	"	ben	hur	"	and	"	the	godfather	"	were	known	to	be	great	films	the	moment	they	hit	theaters	.	roger	christian's	"	battlefield	earth	"	,	based	on	l	.	ron	hubbard's	thousand	page	epic	,	is	not	one	of	these	movies	.	"	battlefield	earth	"	is	more	akin	to	"	plan	9	from	outer	space	"	;	a	movie	so	incredibly	bad	that	it	will	one	day	develop	a	cult	following	.	"	battlefield	earth	"	is	a	movie	words	cannot	adequately	describe	.	i	hate	to	say	this	,	but	i	truly	believe	it	must	be	witnessed	to	be	fully	appreciated	.	most	bad	films	have	at	least	one	redeeming	quality	to	them	;	whether	it	be	unintentional	laughs	,	one	truly	good	scene	,	or	some	interesting	special	effects	.	this	movie	somehow	manages	to	possess	no	redeeming	qualities	.	i	must	admit	,	it's	not	an	easy	task	creating	such	a	movie	,	which	is	why	they	only	come	along	once	in	a	great	while	.	appreciate	this	movie	for	the	few	weeks	it	will	be	in	theaters	folks	.	you'll	not	see	another	one	like	it	for	a	great	while	.	it's	the	31st	century	,	and	man	is	an	endangered	species	(	so	the	opening	credits	tell	us	in	a	cheap	,	green	home	computer	font	)	.	the	psychlos	,	a	race	of	nine	foot	tall	whiners	,	have	taken	over	the	planet	in	a	battle	which	took	only	nine	minutes	.	now	,	1000	years	later	,	there	are	only	a	handful	of	humans	remaining	,	and	they	are	used	as	cheap	labor	by	the	psychlos	,	led	by	the	maniacal	terl	(	john	travolta	)	.	a	lone	woodsman	,	jonnie	goodboy	tyler	(	barry	pepper	)	,	is	on	a	quest	to	find	what	happend	to	his	people	when	he	is	captured	by	the	alien	invaders	.	found	to	be	somewhat	intelligent	by	the	psychlos	,	he	is	trained	in	how	to	speak	their	language	and	handle	their	machinery	.	tyler	soon	decides	that	he	must	lead	his	people	in	a	revolt	or	the	human	race	will	become	extinct	.	with	nothing	but	his	wits	,	a	few	fellow	captives	,	some	explosives	,	and	a	handy	fleet	of	harrier	jets	,	he	leads	his	people	in	a	final	strike	against	their	oppressors	.	let	me	start	by	listing	the	things	i	liked	about	this	film	.	okay	,	now	on	to	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	you	can	tell	from	the	opening	titles	that	you're	in	for	a	very	bumpy	ride	.	the	picture	leaps	right	into	its	narrative	without	explaining	anything	.	instead	,	we	meet	barry	pepper's	(	"	saving	private	ryan	"	)	character	,	and	before	we	know	anything	about	him	,	he	is	off	on	his	quest	.	in	fact	,	there	is	no	emotional	involvment	with	any	character	in	this	movie	.	at	one	point	,	terl	has	captured	tyler's	girlfriend	and	threatens	to	kill	her	if	tyler	doesn't	obey	him	.	i	think	this	was	supposed	to	be	an	emotional	scene	,	watching	tyler	grapple	with	how	to	save	his	girlfriend's	life	.	the	problem	,	however	,	is	that	we	know	next	to	nothing	about	tyler	,	and	his	girlfriend	has	just	been	introduced	so	we	couldn't	care	less	about	her	.	things	are	even	worse	with	tyler's	comrades	.	they	die	all	the	time	without	anyone	really	knowing	just	who	died	.	everytime	anyone	dies	,	the	music	blasts	through	the	theater	,	the	characters	scream	silently	,	and	the	audience	stares	at	the	screen	in	complete	confusion	about	who	just	bit	the	dust	.	allow	me	to	now	list	everything	that	is	wrong	with	this	movie	.	the	scenery	is	obviously	fake	and	created	mostly	from	models	or	really	bad	mat	jobs	(	watch	for	the	mat	job	on	a	scene	where	a	character	falls	off	a	cliff	;	it's	laughably	bad	)	.	the	special	effects	look	like	they	were	done	on	the	same	home	computer	used	for	the	opening	credits	.	the	costumes	consist	of	cheap	looking	furs	for	the	humans	and	shoddy	silver	things	for	the	aliens	(	travolta	manages	to	appear	even	more	overweight	in	his	costume	)	.	the	battle	scenes	are	shot	entirely	in	slow	motion	and	with	no	sound	.	these	fights	consist	of	watching	humans	and	aliens	getting	hit	by	little	white	bursts	of	light	which	bounce	off	them	but	cause	the	victims	to	fall	dead	to	the	ground	(	except	jonnie	tyler	,	who	gets	shot	numerous	times	but	always	springs	back	)	.	the	dialogue	is	amazingly	cheesy	,	and	is	made	even	worse	by	the	over	the	top	performances	from	all	the	cast	members	.	the	score	is	quite	obnoxious	,	booming	dramatically	through	the	speakers	all	the	time	regardless	of	what	the	characters	are	doing	.	barry	pepper	raises	his	hand	,	the	music	booms	dramatically	;	barry	pepper	eats	a	raw	rat	,	the	score	plays	so	loudly	you'll	be	vibrating	in	your	chair	.	there	is	much	more	to	hate	in	this	film	,	but	i	don't	have	room	to	mention	it	all	in	one	review	.	in	case	you're	wondering	just	who	roger	christian	is	,	allow	me	to	give	you	a	quick	biography	.	christian	is	the	fellow	who	directed	1997's	"	masterminds	"	,	and	little	else	.	he	also	worked	as	a	crew	member	on	the	first	"	star	wars	"	movie	,	which	would	explain	his	affinity	for	using	wipes	.	the	problem	is	,	while	george	lucas	may	have	used	all	sorts	of	different	wipes	throughout	the	"	star	wars	"	movies	,	christian	uses	the	same	wipe	over	and	over	again	in	"	battlefield	earth	"	.	the	wipe	starts	in	the	middle	and	goes	outward	,	again	and	again	,	between	nearly	every	scene	.	not	only	is	it	amateurish	to	use	the	same	wipe	repeatedly	,	but	it's	a	cheap	looking	,	unimaginative	wipe	.	the	actors	are	given	very	little	to	do	,	and	they	chew	the	scenery	like	you've	never	seen	.	barry	pepper	,	who	was	interesting	and	a	little	creepy	as	the	christian	sniper	in	"	saving	private	ryan	"	,	is	given	nothing	to	do	as	the	always	grunting	jonnie	tyler	.	john	travolta	overacts	like	you've	never	seen	before	,	and	rather	than	appearing	menacing	as	i	believe	was	intended	,	he	looks	like	an	eight	foot	tall	clown	.	only	forest	whitaker	(	"	ghost	dog	:	the	way	of	the	samurai	"	)	,	playing	terl's	henchman	,	appears	to	realize	what	a	horrendous	movie	he	is	in	.	for	nearly	any	science	fiction	film	,	a	certain	amount	of	suspension	of	disbelief	is	necessary	.	"	battlefield	earth	"	requires	more	than	any	other	movie	i	have	seen	in	recent	years	.	nearly	every	scene	contains	some	ludicrous	idea	that	an	eight	year	old	wouldn't	buy	.	try	this	out	:	the	psychlos	are	interested	in	mining	gold	from	a	mountain	,	and	they	use	the	humans	to	do	so	.	jonnie	tyler	,	being	the	genius	he	now	is	,	takes	bricked	gold	from	fort	knox	and	gives	it	to	terl	in	place	of	the	gold	they	didn't	mine	.	there	are	two	serious	oversights	here	.	first	,	terl	actually	believes	that	tyler	smelted	the	gold	into	bricks	for	him	;	second	,	terl's	scanners	could	find	gold	ore	in	a	mountain	,	but	he	couldn't	find	any	sitting	in	a	demolished	fort	knox	?	not	ludicrous	enough	for	you	?	try	this	one	on	for	size	:	tyler	and	his	troops	just	happen	to	find	a	fleet	of	harriers	sitting	armed	,	fueled	,	and	in	perfect	working	order	after	one	thousand	years	.	tyler's	men	,	who	could	barely	speak	intelligibly	not	too	long	ago	,	then	proceed	to	learn	how	to	fly	them	like	experts	in	less	than	a	week	.	there	are	dozens	of	examples	like	these	two	,	but	i've	wasted	enough	time	writing	about	this	stupid	movie	.	i'd	recommend	"	battlefield	earth	"	to	aspiring	directors	so	they	can	see	how	not	to	make	a	sci	fi	movie	,	but	to	no	one	else	under	any	circumstances	.	the	movie	runs	a	torturous	117	minutes	,	and	i	give	it	one	out	of	five	stars	.	any	past	movies	you	want	me	to	review	?	send	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	best	movies	of	the	year	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	at	your	own	risk	.	see	this	one	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
neg	director	:	luis	llosa	cast	:	jennifer	lopez	,	ice	cube	,	owen	wilson	,	eric	stoltz	humanities	quest	for	knowledge	never	ends	.	so	a	team	of	scientists	and	film	makers	travel	to	the	amazon	to	search	for	a	legendary	indian	tribe	.	the	party	consists	of	anthropologist	steven	cale	(	eric	stoltz	)	and	the	camera	team	consisting	of	terri	flores	(	jennifer	lopez	)	,	danny	rich	(	ice	cube	)	,	gary	dixon	(	owen	wilson	)	,	denise	kahlberg	(	kari	wuhrer	)	and	warren	westridge	(	jonathan	hyde	)	.	early	on	their	journey	they	meet	paul	sarone	(	jon	voight	)	whose	boat	is	stuck	on	the	shore	.	they	agree	to	give	him	a	ride	to	the	next	village	.	he	claims	to	know	the	area	well	and	can	be	useful	locating	the	native	tribe	.	very	soon	their	friendliness	backfires	on	the	group	because	sarone	turns	out	to	be	a	snake	hunter	without	scruples	who	only	wants	to	catch	a	giant	anaconda	and	sell	it	to	a	zoo	.	we	don't	have	to	wait	too	long	for	the	giant	snake	.	she	just	had	a	panther	hors	d'oevre	and	now	is	looking	for	the	main	course	.	our	heroes	paddle	around	in	the	amazonas	as	if	it	were	the	pool	in	their	own	backyard	.	no	wonder	giant	animals	mistake	their	splashing	for	a	dinner	bell	.	our	anaconda	is	a	polite	one	and	swallows	the	first	victim	in	one	big	gulp	.	enjoy	!	so	much	for	the	first	attempt	to	catch	her	.	but	who	would	want	to	catch	a	giant	snake	with	a	fishing	pole	?	our	villain	sarone	shows	his	soft	side	when	he	stops	terri	from	shooting	the	snake	.	too	bad	that	anaconda	is	just	about	to	strangle	another	member	of	the	expedition	.	one	by	one	she	goes	after	the	others	.	eric	stoltz	is	stung	by	a	giant	wasp	right	in	the	beginning	and	is	mercifully	unconcious	for	the	rest	of	the	adventure	.	the	rest	of	the	crew	keeps	entertaining	the	viewer	although	not	the	way	the	makers	of	the	movie	had	planned	.	however	the	scenes	without	the	anaconda	are	rather	boring	.	whenever	the	leading	lady	shows	up	we're	in	for	a	laugh	.	the	snake	reminds	us	of	a	favorite	character	of	a	famous	animated	movie	even	if	she	should	be	an	awe	inspiring	monster	.	her	attacks	always	follow	the	same	plan	:	one	last	hypnotic	look	she's	looking	at	you	,	kid	then	she	speedily	wraps	herself	around	her	victim	and	starts	to	gush	it	down	.	mostly	we	don't	see	the	act	of	devouring	.	but	she	looks	nice	when	she	wiggles	away	with	her	bulging	middle	part	.	whoever	did	the	special	effects	on	this	movie	may	have	wanted	to	go	to	a	zoo	first	and	study	some	real	snakes	.	maybe	then	the	anaconda	model	would	have	looked	more	real	.	the	animatronics	are	somewhat	more	believable	.	but	that	didn't	work	for	the	strangling	scenes	.	don't	go	see	the	movie	for	the	f	x	.	they	are	everything	but	up	to	date	.	the	viewer	who	likes	to	watch	the	end	credits	will	see	to	his	her	surprise	that	a	snake	expert	was	a	consultant	for	the	team	.	we	may	doubt	though	that	he	has	ever	seen	the	final	result	of	his	work	.	a	well	known	american	science	magazine	is	also	mentioned	in	the	credits	,	but	i	will	refrain	from	naming	it	here	to	avoid	further	damage	to	its	reputation	.	the	majority	of	viewer	will	have	left	the	theater	as	soon	as	the	credits	start	rolling	,	anyway	.	what	kind	of	audience	is	the	target	group	for	this	movie	?	hard	to	say	.	this	can't	be	a	serious	horror	movie	,	or	can	it	?	see	for	yourself	.
neg	species	is	a	forehead	knockingly	bad	movie	.	you	know	what	i'm	talking	about	:	that's	when	you	sit	there	,	slack	jawed	,	staring	at	the	screen	,	and	then	just	pound	your	first	into	your	forehead	in	total	disbelief	at	what	you're	witnessing	.	it's	so	awful	it's	downright	charming	;	it's	about	as	bad	and	as	loud	as	stargate	.	here's	the	"	plot	"	:	scientists	recieve	a	transmission	from	space	that	seems	to	consist	of	a	genetic	code	.	after	synthesizing	it	and	crossbreeding	it	with	human	dna	,	they	develop	sil	:	an	innocent	looking	,	wide	eyed	girl	thing	who	,	for	reasons	too	protracted	to	list	here	,	has	to	be	destroyed	.	only	trouble	is	,	they	can't	simply	put	a	gun	to	the	back	of	her	head	and	turn	her	into	dog	food	like	a	bond	movie	,	they	have	to	kill	her	elaborately	,	which	gives	her	a	chance	to	escape	.	the	government	corralls	together	a	team	of	"	experts	"	mostly	at	screwing	up	,	from	the	look	of	it	:	an	assassin	(	michael	madsen	,	looking	even	dopier	than	he	did	in	resevoir	dogs	)	,	an	empath	(	forest	whitaker	,	looking	like	the	pillsbury	doughboy	)	,	another	scientist	,	and	the	creator	of	sil	(	ben	kingsley	,	the	best	thing	in	the	movie	)	.	most	of	them	will	of	course	be	murdered	in	various	creative	ways	,	but	not	before	they	get	to	show	their	various	"	skills	"	.	smithson	,	the	empath	,	for	instance	,	has	the	uncanny	ability	to	just	spit	out	where	sil	is	and	what	she's	doing	.	thanks	to	the	fact	that	his	skill	doesn't	have	any	explicit	rules	,	it	leaves	us	scratching	our	heads	as	to	why	he	doesn't	just	produce	a	map	and	draw	an	x	on	it	.	sil	,	as	it	turns	out	,	is	growing	and	developing	at	a	furious	rate	which	,	of	course	,	requires	that	she	murder	several	people	to	feed	herself	.	which	is	nothing	compared	to	the	vigor	she	exhibits	when	trying	to	find	a	mate	.	the	adult	sil	(	played	by	natasha	henstridge	)	looks	like	she	just	walked	off	the	runway	of	a	fashion	show	and	has	no	trouble	finding	nookie	in	california	,	and	the	movie	gets	some	good	laughs	out	of	everyone	reacting	to	her	total	guilelessness	.	there	is	also	one	moment	maybe	salvaged	from	an	earlier	,	better	draft	of	the	script	where	she	tries	to	to	explain	who	she	is	,	and	can't	.	but	the	main	purpose	of	the	movie	is	never	in	doubt	:	violence	,	gratuitous	nudity	,	ear	hammering	sound	effects	.	the	last	one	is	really	ticking	me	off	in	a	lot	of	movies	lately	:	why	,	for	instance	,	do	we	alwasy	have	swooshing	sound	effects	to	accompany	the	image	of	a	flashlight	playing	across	the	camera	lens	?	light	beams	didn't	disturb	the	air	much	the	last	time	i	checked	.
neg	can	you	say	"	dated	"	?	you	can	if	you've	seen	rosemary's	baby	which	,	like	the	exorcist	,	was	a	thrilling	horror	film	in	its	time	but	seems	boring	and	laughable	in	the	decades	that	have	passed	since	its	original	release	.	"	mystery	science	theater	3000	"	has	skewered	the	bad	films	of	the	past	,	but	let	me	tell	you	,	it	could	do	a	number	on	the	"	good	"	ones	too	.	rosemary's	baby	stars	mia	farrow	(	from	the	time	she	was	actually	good	looking	)	as	an	innocent	housewife	and	her	not	so	innocent	husband	(	john	cassavettes	)	,	an	actor	who	takes	an	easy	,	albeit	evil	,	road	to	success	.	it	all	seems	so	harmless	in	the	beginning	.	mia	and	john	move	into	an	apartment	where	several	past	murders	have	been	committed	.	(	there's	also	a	skull	in	the	living	room	,	but	it's	only	for	decoration	.	)	their	elderly	neighbors	pop	in	for	a	housewarming	.	all's	well	for	about	the	first	hour	of	this	slow	moving	film	,	until	mia	eats	some	of	the	neighbors'	chocolate	mousse	and	passes	out	.	when	she	comes	to	,	she	finds	herself	in	a	darkened	room	with	a	bunch	of	people	yelling	and	dancing	like	savages	and	a	big	,	evil	man	raping	her	a	foreshadowing	of	her	future	life	with	woody	allen	.	it	seems	like	a	dream	and	,	when	she	finds	herself	pregnant	,	she	almost	forgets	about	it	.	and	everyone's	helping	with	the	pregnancy	.	the	neighbors	have	some	wonderful	vitamin	potions	for	her	to	drink	,	a	good	luck	charm	for	her	to	wear	around	her	neck	,	and	the	name	of	an	obstetrician	who's	been	in	the	business	66	.	6	years	.	meanwhile	,	mia	begins	having	chronic	stomach	pains	and	losing	a	lot	of	weight	.	before	too	long	she	looks	just	like	the	lead	singer	of	the	cranberries	.	that's	when	you	know	your	health's	failing	.	the	only	person	in	the	movie	who's	the	least	bit	suspicious	of	all	this	is	an	old	friend	(	maurice	evans	)	who	calls	mia	up	to	give	her	the	bad	news	and	immediately	falls	into	a	coma	.	by	about	the	two	hour	mark	i	felt	the	same	way	.	rosemary's	baby	is	way	too	long	,	and	leads	up	to	a	payoff	that's	about	as	boring	and	laughable	as	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	i	guess	someone	put	a	spell	on	this	movie	.
neg	back	in	the	days	of	the	roman	empire	,	italian	soldiers	spent	a	lot	of	time	conquering	europe	.	but	as	one	particular	caesar	ages	,	he	ponders	his	purpose	.	"	maximus	,	why	are	we	here	?	"	(	in	germania	)	,	he	whines	.	"	for	the	glory	of	rome	,	"	maximus	(	crowe	)	responds	.	reflecting	on	the	bloodshed	,	caesar	sighs	,	"	so	much	for	the	glory	of	rome	.	"	this	seemingly	innocent	mumble	has	a	wonderfully	biting	double	edge	.	tired	of	war	,	caesar	plans	to	raise	his	trusted	and	son	like	warrior	,	maximus	,	to	guardian	of	a	restored	republican	rome	.	yet	,	in	all	his	great	wisdom	caesar	prematurely	reveals	the	plan	to	his	real	son	,	commodus	.	(	there'll	be	no	rome	left	for	him	.	)	before	maximus	is	ordained	,	commodus	kills	his	father	and	thus	becomes	a	tyrant	king	.	he	orders	the	deaths	of	maximus	and	family	,	then	sits	back	in	the	throne	.	maximus	narrowly	escapes	,	but	is	captured	(	as	a	slave	)	by	a	circus	leader	who	runs	a	traveling	gladiator	show	.	coincidentally	,	commodus	decides	to	reinstate	the	game	in	rome	,	thus	the	mighty	maximus	arrives	back	in	the	capital	harboring	a	festering	vendetta	.	it's	a	great	story	,	celebrated	warrior	turned	slave	,	turned	gladiator	,	turned	revolutionist	.	and	crowe	is	steadfast	.	but	here	are	the	problems	:	his	son	and	daughter	look	like	models	in	an	aspirin	commercial	.	they	have	no	lines	.	they're	displayed	either	as	utopian	or	crispy	dead	never	real	.	so	we	feel	nothing	for	them	and	when	they're	slain	,	we	don't	care	.	better	to	leave	them	unshown	.	crowe	is	a	great	actor	,	let	his	love	for	them	be	enough	to	make	us	care	.	this	is	a	long	film	,	cut	out	their	segments	entirely	.	conveying	them	only	as	ideas	,	the	film	would	be	stronger	.	i	have	great	faith	in	crowe's	ability	to	make	us	long	for	that	family	with	him	.	unspecified	,	we	can	fill	in	the	blanks	with	our	own	warm	feelings	of	home	.	the	two	other	problems	involve	the	beginning	and	the	ending	.	i	just	don't	believe	that	a	great	wise	leader	would	have	so	immaturely	handled	such	a	delicate	situation	as	depriving	the	thrown	from	his	immoral	son	.	caesar	would	have	ordered	his	son	commodus	off	on	some	important	mission	in	some	distant	land	or	other	,	while	maximus	was	ordained	.	either	that	,	or	(	dare	you	scheme	with	me	)	caesar	may	have	wanted	the	son	to	murder	him	,	thus	inspiring	maximus	all	the	more	but	if	the	writers	intended	this	twist	they	certainly	did	not	clearly	lay	it	out	.	such	a	strategy	would	have	improved	the	film	and	my	ability	to	"	buy	in	"	earlier	on	.	but	weather	you	"	buy	in	"	or	not	,	it's	still	a	fun	story	.	powerful	underdog	,	rising	from	the	slime	and	under	appreciated	to	challenge	the	all	mighty	czar	.	and	there's	all	that	blood	and	guts	in	the	arena	.	the	very	first	fight	(	meant	to	establish	crowe	as	a	fighting	man's	general	of	war	)	begins	with	nightsky	scraping	flaming	arrows	that	dash	across	in	the	twilight	emitting	a	magically	lethal	orange	glow	.	i	thought	to	myself	,	"	this	is	one	medieval	battlefield	rumble	to	end	all	cinema	recreations	.	"	as	the	conflict	rages	,	the	camera	angles	become	increasingly	narrowed	and	the	screen	full	of	flames	and	blurred	soldiers	in	slow	mo	.	but	the	effect	becomes	over	digitized	in	a	strobe	reminiscent	of	a	consumer	camera	,	subtracting	from	the	realism	and	gravity	of	the	fight	.	and	instead	of	continuing	the	ever	tightening	angle	to	personalize	the	savagery	,	a	few	mid	wide	shots	are	tossed	in	.	it	breaks	up	the	direction	of	the	sequence	and	wakes	the	viewer	from	its	hypnotic	effect	.	still	a	strong	sequence	overall	,	but	"	the	messenger	"	did	a	better	job	.	lastly	,	this	is	an	action	film	and	not	disappointingly	it	ends	with	action	.	unfortunately	,	a	few	additional	lines	of	dialogue	are	tacked	on	,	again	diluting	the	power	of	the	event	.	nothing	needed	to	be	said	!	"	gladiator	"	does	best	what	it	proposes	it	be's	big	!	though	i	expected	more	from	this	two	hour	fifty	minute	epic	,	i	still	enjoyed	it	,	while	most	others	i	spoke	with	loved	it	.	gladiator	.	copyright	2000	.	rated	r	.	starring	russell	crowe	,	joaquin	phoenix	(	commodus	)	,	oliver	reed	(	proximo	palindromos	)	,	richard	harris	(	marcus	aurelius	)	,	connie	nielsen	(	lucilla	)	,	djimon	hounsou	(	juba	)	,	ralf	moeller	(	hagen	)	,	derek	jacobi	(	gracchus	)	,	spencer	treat	clark	(	lucius	)	,	david	hemmings	(	cassius	)	,	tomas	arana	(	quintus	)	.	directed	by	ridley	scott	.	written	by	david	franzoni	.	executive	producers	:	walter	f	.	parkes	,	laurie	macdonald	.	produced	by	douglas	wick	,	david	franzoni	,	branko	lustig	at	dreamworks	universal	.	grade	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	b	copyright	2000	.	ross	anthony	,	currently	based	in	los	angeles	,	has	scripted	and	shot	documentaries	,	music	videos	,	and	shorts	in	35	countries	across	north	america	,	europe	,	africa	and	asia	.	for	more	reviews	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	rossanthony	.	com	"	http	:	rossanthony	.	com	a
neg	there	are	certain	rules	in	hollywood	involving	the	portrayal	of	romantic	relationships	on	the	big	screen	.	certain	combinations	of	leads	naturally	go	together	handsome	men	and	beautiful	women	being	the	predominant	pairing	.	lately	,	a	trend	has	emerged	involving	cute	young	adult	males	and	lovable	teenage	females	(	usually	with	shows	on	fox	or	the	wb	)	and	,	once	in	a	while	,	moviegoers	are	treated	to	the	unlikely	affairs	of	rickety	old	men	and	chicks	half	their	age	.	stars	are	always	fit	,	have	great	teeth	,	skin	and	hair	,	and	are	usually	white	.	films	that	stray	from	these	templates	of	success	are	generally	resounding	box	office	failures	.	why	?	because	people	won't	line	up	for	number	18	with	hunan	foot	,	the	touching	story	of	a	chinese	guy	with	a	really	large	head	who	falls	in	love	with	a	70	year	old	lady	leper	.	they	will	also	reject	mommy	,	i'm	taller	than	daddy	,	starring	a	middle	aged	single	mom	with	a	huge	raised	birthmark	on	her	face	and	her	lucky	find	a	midget	with	one	eyebrow	and	a	cowlick	.	howard	stern	has	made	a	career	out	of	shining	a	spotlight	on	those	aforementioned	oddities	.	until	now	,	if	you	wanted	to	hear	a	drunk	dwarf	,	paranoid	stutterers	or	alien	lesbians	,	howard	was	the	only	place	to	go	.	hollywood	could	only	ignore	his	phenomenal	ratings	for	so	long	.	so	,	along	comes	the	other	sister	(	1	2	)	,	a	film	that	bills	itself	as	a	romantic	comedy	for	the	emotionally	challenged	.	'	translation	a	love	story	about	two	retards	.	they	meet	.	they	fall	in	love	.	the	have	a	fight	.	they	get	back	together	.	they	get	married	.	and	they	drive	off	with	their	car	dragging	a	just	lobotomized	!	'	sign	.	okay	,	i	made	that	last	part	up	,	but	it	would	have	been	more	original	than	anything	in	sister's	tiresome	script	.	the	film	opens	with	carla	(	juliette	lewis	,	natural	born	killers	)	having	just	graduated	from	the	roselake	,	a	school	for	mentally	challenged	children	.	carla	flies	home	to	san	francisco	,	where	her	father	(	tom	skerritt	)	and	overbearing	mother	(	diane	keaton	)	seem	intent	on	keeping	her	at	home	under	a	watchful	eye	.	they	live	in	a	giant	house	with	a	live	in	maid	and	a	gate	,	so	one	has	to	wonder	why	they	didn't	just	lock	her	in	the	attic	.	like	the	kennedys	.	but	carla	has	other	plans	.	she	wants	to	enroll	in	a	public	vocational	school	.	her	parents	say	no	but	eventually	give	in	.	she	wants	her	own	apartment	.	her	parents	say	no	but	eventually	give	in	.	she	wants	a	boyfriend	.	her	parents	say	no	buthey	!	are	you	tired	of	reading	this	yet	?	try	sitting	through	130	minutes	of	it	.	lewis	is	remarkably	unremarkable	as	carla	.	but	,	then	again	,	carla	isn't	too	far	off	of	the	roles	that	she	usually	plays	.	her	love	interest	daniel	(	giovanni	ribisi	,	saving	private	ryan	)	is	much	better	,	but	also	not	much	different	from	his	recurring	role	of	phoebe's	brother	on	friends	.	actually	,	the	only	difference	is	fake	teeth	.	keaton's	mother	is	purposefully	and	pleasantly	annoying	while	skerritt	is	just	plan	scary	sans	facial	hair	.	sister	was	written	and	directed	by	garry	marshall	,	who	hit	the	big	time	with	70s	television	shows	like	mork	and	mindy	and	laverne	shirley	.	his	resume	as	of	late	boasts	the	blockbusters	dear	god	and	exit	to	eden	.	this	is	the	first	script	he	has	written	since	1984's	the	flamingo	kid	,	proving	that	writing	must	not	be	like	riding	a	bike	.	but	,	hey	if	you	watch	with	your	eyes	closed	,	it	sounds	just	like	howard	.	2	:	10	r	for	adult	situations	and	mild	languageplanet	sick	boy	:	a	href	"	http	:	home	.	eznet	.	net	jpopick	"	http	:	home	.	eznet	.	net	jpopick	a
neg	i'm	sure	that	there	is	something	to	behold	within	the	personality	and	act	of	the	late	andy	kaufman	.	but	i	just	don't	see	it	.	director	milos	forman's	1996	bio	pick	on	the	life	of	pornographer	larry	flynt	is	a	seriously	under	rated	and	brilliant	film	that	didn't	get	the	credit	it	deserved	.	i	never	liked	larry	flynt	or	the	things	he	did	but	his	right	to	free	speech	was	and	is	absolute	and	although	i	never	liked	his	lifestyle	,	i	still	thought	the	film	about	him	is	a	classic	and	it	was	my	favourite	film	the	year	it	came	out	.	so	my	dislike	for	'man	on	the	moon'	has	nothing	to	do	with	the	way	i	feel	about	andy	kaufman	.	this	is	simply	a	one	dimensional	and	totally	non	lethal	motion	picture	that	never	finds	a	way	to	tell	its	story	above	the	level	of	mediocrity	,	a	quality	a	lot	of	people	thought	andy	kaufman	possessed	.	the	first	thing	that	has	to	be	noted	is	the	casting	of	jim	carrey	.	it	came	down	to	casting	either	him	or	edward	norton	.	carrey	looks	more	like	kaufman	that	norton	but	what's	really	disappointing	about	the	movie	is	that	instead	of	jim	carrey	playing	andy	kaufman	,	carrey	plays	andy	kaufman	playing	jim	carrey	!	and	shame	on	the	powers	that	be	for	selecting	carrey	over	a	real	actor	simply	for	box	office	reasons	.	andy	kaufman	(	1949	1984	)	died	at	the	age	of	35	of	lung	cancer	and	the	film	opens	in	the	late	1950's	when	he	is	just	a	boy	and	shows	how	he	always	had	the	desire	and	ambition	to	become	a	performer	.	the	film	then	zips	forward	to	the	mid	70's	when	kaufman	is	in	his	mid	to	late	20's	and	how	he	got	his	start	in	the	profession	of	stand	up	comedy	.	this	is	how	the	film	begins	its	downfall	.	it	fails	to	avoid	mirroring	its	own	subject	and	can't	find	a	way	to	be	a	grand	piece	of	film	making	and	can't	elevate	itself	very	far	to	give	its	structure	depth	and	remains	totally	mediocre	for	two	hours	.	there	is	also	no	room	for	real	characterizations	.	carrey	as	kaufman	is	the	only	mildly	interesting	character	in	the	entire	movie	.	danny	devito	plays	his	agent	,	george	shapiro	and	is	neither	colourful	nor	absorbing	.	courtney	love	,	who	was	so	good	in	'the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt'	isn't	introduced	in	the	film	until	almost	a	full	hour	into	it	and	never	shows	any	strong	characteristics	in	a	very	pivotal	role	.	aspects	of	popular	culture	cannot	be	explained	to	people	.	you	either	see	the	art	of	you	don't	.	it's	like	the	andy	warhol	contribution	of	the	campbell's	soup	can	as	art	.	no	one	can	explain	it	as	you	either	see	it	or	you	don't	.	the	only	contagious	part	of	'man	on	the	moon'	is	the	pro	wrestling	reference	.	as	a	fan	of	pro	wrestling	myself	,	i	thought	the	segments	involving	andy	kaufman	and	jerry	lawler	were	worth	watching	.	pro	wrestling	is	like	a	male	soap	opera	with	circus	like	performers	who	make	it	big	based	on	personality	and	microphone	skills	rather	than	pure	wrestling	talent	.	again	,	when	realizing	this	,	you	either	see	the	concept	or	you	don't	.	another	aching	part	of	'man	on	the	moon'	is	that	it	spends	too	much	time	showing	kaufman	in	his	stand	up	performances	and	his	antics	on	stage	,	including	the	creation	of	a	character	kaufman	created	named	tony	clifton	.	carrey	brings	aspects	to	the	andy	kaufman	portrayal	by	using	scenes	from	'ace	ventura	:	when	nature	calls'	(	the	bongo	playing	)	and	'the	cable	guy'	in	the	way	he	showcases	clifton	.	there	is	a	scene	in	'the	cable	guy'	where	carrey	,	dressed	up	with	bad	hair	and	a	bushy	moustache	,	beats	up	a	guy	in	the	men's	room	in	comic	fashion	.	carrey	looks	like	that	and	acts	like	that	in	his	portrayal	of	clifton	.	there	is	too	much	jim	carrey	on	screen	and	not	enough	andy	kaufman	.	all	of	kaufman's	involvements	with	the	entertainment	industry	only	scratch	the	surface	,	except	for	the	pro	wrestling	stuff	.	there	was	a	need	in	this	film	to	place	more	emphasis	on	the	personal	side	of	andy	kaufman's	life	with	the	woman	he	loved	.	more	interaction	with	the	cast	of	'taxi'	was	not	shown	and	it	should	have	been	.	writers	scott	alexander	and	larry	karaszewski	have	written	what	looks	more	like	a	television	script	and	you	won't	see	director	milos	forman's	stamp	of	sub	text	on	any	part	of	this	movie	.	the	movie	also	has	serious	problems	with	its	continuity	.	a	reference	is	made	to	jimmy	carter	as	president	of	the	united	states	and	then	it	later	shows	kaufman	on	the	first	broadcast	of	saturday	night	live	which	1975	.	carter	didn't	take	office	as	president	until	january	1977	so	how	could	a	reference	be	made	to	him	as	president	in	1975	.	also	,	a	scene	where	kaufman	and	his	lady	go	to	the	movies	shows	a	poster	of	1980's	'coal	miner's	daughter'	and	1982's	'e	.	t	.	the	extra	terrestrial'	side	by	side	.	the	film	is	also	technically	flat	.	the	climax	of	a	christmas	palladium	act	near	the	end	of	the	film	looks	more	like	a	college	production	than	a	professionally	put	together	movie	.	as	movie	making	,	'man	on	the	moon'	fails	on	almost	every	level	and	was	a	shocking	disappointment	from	a	two	time	oscar	winning	director	like	milos	forman	and	as	for	oscar	talk	about	jim	carrey	,	this	film	looks	like	robin	wiliams'	first	oscar	nomination	for	'good	morning	vietnam'	in	1987	.	it's	simply	the	comedian	playing	himself	more	and	not	enough	of	the	character	the	script	called	for	.	what	a	let	down	!
neg	capsule	:	the	running	gag	pair	of	characters	from	all	of	kevin	smith's	films	gets	their	own	movie	.	the	gags	are	sporadically	funny	.	it	is	more	than	occasionally	funny	for	teens	who	are	fond	of	scatological	humor	and	anti	gay	jokes	.	the	plot	is	weak	and	the	leads	are	not	a	particularly	funny	comic	team	.	the	little	inside	jokes	and	digs	at	other	entertainment	and	particularly	at	kevin	smith	films	are	the	best	features	of	the	film	.	sadly	for	me	they	were	just	not	funny	enough	to	make	the	film	worth	watching	.	this	feels	like	the	high	school	skit	that	that	the	principal	would	not	let	the	kids	do	on	talent	night	.	(	and	it	turns	out	he	had	very	good	reasons	.	)	rating	:	4	(	0	to	10	)	,	low	0	(	4	to	4	)	a	film	needs	a	plot	.	it	needs	characters	for	empathy	value	.	it	needs	a	story	and	an	emotional	center	.	if	a	film	is	just	a	chain	of	jokes	it	can	only	be	so	good	and	any	entertainment	value	will	succeed	or	fail	based	on	how	funny	the	jokes	are	.	kevin	smith	has	now	made	two	satisfying	films	,	clerks	and	chasing	amy	.	with	dogma	he	tried	to	make	a	philosophical	religious	comedy	and	mixed	with	a	madcap	romp	.	peter	cook	and	dudley	moore	did	that	very	successfully	with	their	bedazzled	.	but	getting	the	combination	to	work	is	very	hard	to	do	right	and	kevin	smith's	fecal	monsters	in	dogma	were	not	the	way	to	do	it	.	his	remaining	two	films	,	mallrats	and	his	new	jay	and	silent	bob	strike	back	are	aimed	squarely	at	a	teenage	audience	.	jay	and	silent	bob	strike	back	is	a	compendium	of	gay	jokes	,	penis	jokes	,	flatulence	jokes	,	film	pastiches	,	and	in	jokes	.	how	funny	the	jokes	are	will	be	a	subjective	call	.	for	me	,	the	vast	majority	of	the	jokes	were	just	not	very	funny	.	there	was	not	enough	cleverness	or	variety	.	it	is	funny	at	most	once	or	twice	to	accuse	someone	of	being	gay	.	penis	jokes	work	only	so	many	times	.	showing	up	as	minor	characters	in	every	kevin	smith	film	jay	and	silent	bob	were	a	clever	pair	of	human	running	gags	.	they	were	sort	of	the	modern	equivalents	of	naunton	wayne	and	basil	radford	,	the	comic	duo	who	showed	up	satirizing	the	english	middle	class	in	several	good	british	post	war	films	including	dead	of	night	,	the	lady	vanishes	,	and	passport	to	pimlico	.	jay	and	silent	bob	were	originally	supposedly	typical	generation	x	stoners	.	as	the	series	wore	on	they	had	larger	and	larger	parts	.	in	jay	and	silent	bob	strike	back	they	are	the	leads	.	jay	and	silent	bob	(	played	by	jason	mewes	and	kevin	smith	)	are	chased	away	from	the	front	of	the	convenience	store	where	they	were	dealing	drugs	in	clerks	.	this	leaves	them	at	loose	ends	.	they	are	not	sure	what	would	be	worthwhile	to	do	with	their	lives	when	they	hear	that	a	comic	book	with	characters	visually	modeled	on	them	will	be	adapted	into	a	movie	.	they	decide	to	devote	their	lives	to	wrecking	the	movie	or	getting	some	of	that	big	movie	industry	cash	.	so	it	is	off	to	hollywood	to	shake	down	the	movie	company	and	having	adventures	along	the	way	.	the	film	is	mostly	about	their	adventures	on	the	road	and	when	they	get	to	hollywood	the	problem	with	this	comedy	team	is	that	neither	really	pulls	his	weight	to	make	the	film	funny	.	silent	bob	,	being	silent	,	can	only	contribute	to	the	comedy	by	reacting	with	that	very	expressive	face	of	his	.	this	makes	his	piece	of	the	comedy	even	less	than	a	straight	man	like	a	dean	martin	or	bud	abbott	would	have	.	jay	has	to	be	the	comic	.	he	could	carry	the	load	for	both	if	he	were	extremely	inventive	.	the	problem	is	that	he	is	not	sufficiently	funny	.	he	is	too	bland	to	be	the	comic	half	and	his	lines	just	do	not	show	any	comic	flair	.	so	jay	and	silent	bob	are	a	long	way	from	being	a	successful	comic	team	.	their	starring	roles	and	the	low	humor	make	this	a	comedy	for	those	young	at	mind	and	for	people	who	can	laugh	at	gags	they	have	seen	before	sometimes	just	minutes	before	.	like	dogma	before	it	,	but	definitely	not	like	chasing	amy	,	this	film	feels	more	like	an	amateurish	skit	than	a	real	movie	.	certainly	neither	the	plot	nor	the	characters	are	at	all	involving	.	they	are	excuses	for	gags	,	many	of	which	still	fall	flat	.	it	is	dogma	without	any	of	the	humorous	theological	content	.	the	film	does	not	offer	much	to	an	adult	audience	.	i	rate	it	4	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	low	0	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	glitter	"	(	20th	century	fox	)	there's	less	here	than	meets	the	eye	.	or	,	put	it	this	way	,	if	you	thought	madonna	was	awful	in	"	shanghai	surprise	,	"	mariah	carey's	worse	in	this	reworking	of	"	a	star	is	born	.	"	she	plays	billie	frank	who	,	despite	being	abandoned	by	her	singer	alcoholic	mother	(	valerie	pettiford	)	,	believes	she's	destined	for	greatness	because	everyone	tells	her	she	is	.	"	you've	got	this	amazing	gift	,	and	you	gotta	use	it	,	"	her	roommate	says	.	"	your	voice	it's	incredible	,	"	says	another	singer	.	"	i	ain't	never	met	anyone	like	you	,	"	proclaims	julian	"	dice	"	black	(	max	beesley	)	,	the	hot	new	york	dj	who	becomes	her	svengali	like	producer	lover	.	problem	is	:	her	signature	song	,	"	i	didn't	mean	to	turn	you	on	"	is	wretched	.	and	when	she	fumes	out	of	filming	her	first	music	video	because	the	director	wants	to	"	exploit	"	her	by	having	her	wear	a	bikini	,	the	audience	bursts	into	laughter	.	exploit	mariah	carey	,	who	chooses	to	wear	as	little	as	the	law	will	allow	?	come	on	!	writer	kate	lanier's	script	is	fatuous	and	director	vondie	curtis	hall	doesn't	have	a	clue	how	to	handle	the	glitzy	pop	diva	and	,	as	a	result	of	their	incompetence	,	whispery	voice'd	ms	.	carey	seems	to	be	embarrassed	on	screen	.	she	almost	cringes	when	the	camera	comes	in	for	a	close	up	,	pursing	her	lips	and	averting	her	glassy	eyes	.	talented	british	musician	max	beesley	appears	equally	inept	,	and	as	cinematographer	geoffrey	simpson	pans	around	the	manhattan	skyline	,	there's	an	audible	audience	groan	when	the	twin	towers	of	the	world	trade	center	come	into	view	.	perhaps	one	of	the	reasons	ms	.	carey	suffered	her	highly	publicized	nervous	breakdown	this	summer	is	because	she	saw	a	preview	of	this	clunker	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	glitter	"	is	a	pathetic	1	.	right	now	,	it's	tops	on	my	list	of	the	worst	of	2001	.
neg	year	:	1999	.	starring	patricia	arquette	,	gabriel	byrne	,	jonathan	pryce	,	nia	long	,	thomas	kopache	,	rade	serbedzija	,	enrico	colantoni	,	dick	latessa	,	portia	de	rossi	.	written	by	tom	lazarus	and	rick	ramage	.	directed	by	rupert	wainwright	.	rated	r	.	if	anything	,	"	stigmata	"	should	be	taken	as	a	warning	against	releasing	similarly	themed	films	relatively	close	to	one	another	.	of	the	four	supernatural	horror	flicks	released	this	year	,	it	is	clearly	the	worst	.	i	suppose	i	should	have	seen	this	coming	.	after	all	,	"	blair	witch	"	thoroughly	creeped	me	out	,	"	sixth	sense	"	was	mildly	spooky	,	and	then	"	stir	of	echoes	"	had	its	moments	,	but	wasn't	anything	i'd	lose	sleep	over	.	clearly	,	the	quality	of	the	horror	this	summer	has	slowly	been	dropping	.	is	it	then	any	surprise	that	"	stigmata	"	is	the	dullest	,	most	horribly	executed	piece	of	mtv	influenced	tripe	i	have	seen	in	a	long	while	?	no	,	not	really	.	patricia	arquette	plays	frankie	page	,	a	hairdresser	from	pittsburgh	who	receives	a	rosary	as	a	gift	from	her	globe	trotting	mother	.	as	it	turns	out	,	the	rosary	belonged	to	a	recently	deceased	brazilian	priest	.	the	priest's	church	had	been	under	investigation	by	father	andrew	kiernan	(	gabriel	byrne	)	because	of	the	mysterious	appearance	of	a	bleeding	statue	.	father	kiernan	is	an	investigator	who	has	made	a	career	out	of	disproving	supposed	religious	signs	,	but	this	time	he	believes	there	is	something	to	the	bleeding	statue	.	his	investigation	is	soon	called	off	,	however	,	when	the	frankie	starts	exhibiting	signs	of	the	stigmata	,	in	which	a	person	is	inflicted	with	wounds	like	that	of	jesus	christ	.	father	kiernan	is	initially	skeptical	of	frankie'	s	story	,	considering	she's	an	atheist	,	but	once	he	witnesses	the	stigmata	attacks	himself	,	he	dedicates	himself	to	finding	out	what	is	going	on	.	he	eventually	begins	to	suspect	that	his	boss	,	cardinal	houseman	(	jonathan	pryce	)	,	is	concealing	something	that	could	bring	down	the	catholic	church	.	as	it	turns	out	,	the	dead	priest	had	been	working	on	the	translation	of	a	"	fifth	gospel	"	before	they	were	excommunicated	.	the	new	rupert	wainwright	music	video	.	.	.	i	mean	film	"	stigmata	"	is	the	sort	of	film	that	starts	off	ok	and	only	gets	worse	.	indeed	,	it	would	have	been	good	if	it	were	a	music	video	,	because	it's	only	interesting	for	about	five	minutes	.	i'm	not	sure	what	wainwright	is	trying	to	prove	with	his	endless	parade	of	slow	motion	,	double	exposure	,	and	extreme	close	ups	(	whoaaaaaa	!	!	!	!	)	,	other	than	the	fact	that	he	has	the	most	swelled	head	of	any	director	in	hollywood	and	,	yes	,	he	has	been	to	film	school	.	his	camera	trickery	is	interesting	for	a	little	while	,	but	eventually	,	it	becomes	headache	inducing	.	what	this	film	needed	is	a	second	audio	track	to	be	played	over	the	dialogue	(	such	as	it	is	)	,	with	wainwright	screaming	at	the	audience	,	"	see	?	look	at	what	i	can	do	!	i'm	an	ex	cellent	dir	ect	or	.	"	maybe	then	he'd	explain	why	he	decided	to	start	half	of	his	scenes	with	slow	motion	shots	of	water	dripping	in	reverse	,	or	why	he	included	random	superfluous	shots	as	that	of	an	egg	frying	(	ooh	,	scary	!	)	.	if	there	was	some	underlying	meaning	behind	all	this	camera	trickery	,	i	didn't	see	it	.	just	when	you	thought	it	was	safe	to	get	involved	in	the	story	,	here	comes	a	double	exposure	shot	of	two	patricia	arquettes	collapsing	into	bed	for	no	reason	whatsoever	.	arrrrrrrghhhh	.	.	.	then	again	,	the	superfluous	camera	trickery	wouldn't	bother	me	if	"	stigmata	"	had	a	story	or	characters	that	were	remotely	engaging	.	though	wainwright's	vanity	certainly	doesn't	help	,	he	does	seem	to	have	been	given	a	nearly	unworkable	script	.	where	are	plot	continuity	and	character	development	when	you	need	them	?	case	in	point	:	frankie	page	is	the	character	that	(	i	assume	)	we	are	supposed	to	identify	and	sympathize	with	,	but	we	aren't	given	any	back	story	on	her	character	,	or	any	reason	to	like	her	.	the	extent	of	her	character	development	seems	to	be	that	she	is	a	hard	working	hairdresser	(	who	can	somehow	afford	a	cavernous	apartment	on	the	top	floor	of	her	building	)	and	she's	kind	of	cute	,	so	let's	start	the	bleeding	!	the	fact	that	she's	clearly	not	the	brightest	bulb	in	the	drawer	doesn't	help	,	either	.	according	to	frankie	page	,	what	is	the	first	thing	to	do	after	receiving	mysterious	wounds	on	your	wrists	and	back	?	go	clubbing	!	sure	,	that	makes	sense	.	arquette	,	byrne	,	and	pryce	give	it	the	old	college	try	,	but	their	characters	are	so	one	dimensional	that	they	just	appear	to	be	sleepwalking	.	scenes	between	arquette	and	byrne	that	were	probably	supposed	to	be	sexually	charged	fall	almost	embarrassingly	flat	,	because	the	setup	of	the	romantic	subplot	is	so	clumsily	handled	that	it	almost	reaches	the	point	of	becoming	laughable	.	even	though	frankie	page's	life	is	falling	apart	before	her	very	eyes	,	she	still	finds	the	time	to	hit	on	a	priest	who	wanders	in	to	her	hair	salon	.	even	more	curiously	,	he	seems	to	be	interested	in	her	advances	.	father	andrew's	religious	doubt	pops	up	so	suddenly	that	it	seems	more	silly	than	dramatic	.	as	for	pryce	,	he	may	as	well	wear	a	curled	mustache	and	cackle	,	"	i'll	get	you	,	my	pretty	,	"	for	all	the	depth	his	cardinal	houseman	is	afforded	.	trust	me	,	i'm	not	revealing	anything	by	telling	you	pryce	turns	out	to	be	a	villain	.	what's	worse	,	after	being	faced	with	dull	characters	and	the	prospect	of	having	annoying	camera	tricks	and	loud	music	jammed	down	our	throats	,	we	now	have	to	contend	with	a	story	that	starts	off	in	one	direction	,	veers	off	in	another	,	then	another	,	and	ends	up	being	totally	incomprehensible	.	first	of	all	,	the	film	doesn't	even	bother	to	explain	what	should	be	very	simple	plot	details	.	how	does	frankie	get	the	stigmata	merely	by	touching	a	rosary	?	how	come	an	atheist	like	her	was	chosen	,	since	father	andrew	mentions	that	only	very	devout	believers	have	ever	received	stigmata	?	actually	,	i'm	not	sure	what	frankie	was	posessed	by	.	supposedly	,	stigmata	occurs	when	one	is	posessed	by	the	holy	spirit	,	but	the	film	later	has	her	being	posessed	by	the	dead	priest	,	and	later	by	some	evil	spirit	(	i	think	)	.	which	one	is	it	?	the	answer	to	this	question	,	of	course	,	is	very	simple	:	the	possessing	entity	in	each	scene	is	determined	by	whichever	effects	and	flashy	camera	work	mr	.	wainwright	wants	to	use	this	time	.	furthermore	,	the	ending	is	a	ridiculously	neat	little	wrap	up	,	and	the	filmmakers	compound	this	problem	by	ultimately	turning	the	film	into	a	diatribe	against	the	catholic	church	.	if	you	do	any	research	at	all	about	the	gospel	of	st	.	thomas	,	you'll	find	that	it	is	not	being	suppressed	by	the	church	(	as	the	film	seems	to	claim	)	,	but	that	it	is	readily	available	at	your	local	library	.	there's	nothing	the	catholics	need	to	worry	about	,	though	.	"	stigmata's	"	religion	is	so	off	base	that	it	can't	be	confused	for	anything	remotely	resembling	the	real	catholic	church	.	if	they	wanted	to	portray	catholic	priests	as	mobsters	,	they	should	have	gone	all	out	and	equipped	them	with	sharkskin	suits	and	tommy	guns	,	which	would	have	been	far	more	interesting	.	i'm	not	catholic	;	in	fact	,	i	don	't	care	much	for	the	catholic	church	,	but	its	cartoonish	misrepresentation	in	this	film	should	not	be	considered	realistic	by	any	means	.	it's	rare	to	see	a	film	that	fails	on	as	many	levels	as	"	stigmata	"	does	.	it'	s	not	thought	provoking	,	though	it	would	like	to	be	,	and	it	is	definitely	not	scary	,	though	it	pretends	to	be	.	i'm	not	sure	why	they	tried	to	pass	this	off	as	a	horror	film	,	because	there	is	absolutely	nothing	scary	about	the	story	.	maybe	it's	an	attempt	to	cover	up	the	fact	that	none	of	the	scenes	have	any	dramatic	weight	whatsoever	.	the	initial	shock	of	seeing	arquette	covered	with	blood	is	dulled	by	the	fact	that	it	happens	over	,	and	over	,	and	over	.	like	so	many	films	of	the	mtv	generation	,	this	one	suffers	from	overkill	.	so	much	is	overdone	in	"	stigmata	,	"	that	it	eventually	has	no	effect	on	the	audience	,	leaving	us	to	pick	out	the	film's	(	many	)	flaws	.	i'm	also	still	trying	to	figure	out	why	the	quotation	they	take	from	the	gospel	of	st	.	thomas	is	so	earth	shattering	.	when	we	finally	hear	it	,	the	saying	sounds	like	something	every	five	year	old	learns	on	their	first	day	of	sunday	school	,	which	means	that	for	all	its	flash	,	the	whole	film	is	really	much	ado	about	nothing	.	the	dog	days	of	summer	usually	produce	one	monstrous	dog	,	and	"	stigmata	"	is	it	.
neg	director	:	tom	shadyac	cast	:	robin	williams	,	monica	potters	,	philip	seymour	hoffman	,	bob	gunton	,	daniel	london	,	peter	coyote	screenplay	:	steve	oedekerk	producers	:	mike	farrell	,	barry	kemp	,	marvin	minoff	,	charles	newirth	runtime	:	115	min	.	us	distribution	:	universal	rated	pg	13	:	strong	language	,	crude	humor	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonthere	is	a	scene	in	patch	adams	in	which	patch	is	in	the	center	of	a	courtroom	,	surrounded	by	people	who	are	giving	him	a	lively	standing	ovation	because	of	his	strong	worded	attack	on	a	group	of	stoic	doctors	.	when	i	noticed	that	the	audience	with	whom	i	saw	this	film	was	reacting	the	same	way	,	i	realized	that	i	was	going	to	have	a	hard	time	finding	someone	who	agrees	with	me	about	the	quality	of	the	picture	.	you	see	,	patch	adams	revolted	me	beyond	all	boundaries	.	i	hated	this	movie	for	every	second	that	i	sat	watching	it	,	and	i	actively	hate	it	now	,	days	later	,	with	the	simpering	,	superficial	,	nauseatingly	sentimental	images	forever	plaguing	my	memories	.	i	hate	every	element	of	the	film	,	beginning	with	tom	shadyac's	shameless	direction	,	and	all	the	way	up	to	the	misguided	and	mishandled	themes	that	the	screenplay	wants	so	desperately	to	convey	.	the	badness	of	patch	adams	is	stupefying	.	it's	confounding	.	i	can't	believe	a	film	can	be	this	bad	.	and	yet	,	it's	based	on	a	real	man	who	probably	has	a	good	point	to	make	.	in	the	film	,	patch	is	played	by	the	undefeatable	and	indefatigable	robin	williams	,	in	a	performance	of	such	insulting	pathos	and	sledgehammer	sympathy	that	i	wonder	now	if	he	is	even	human	.	in	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	patch	commits	himself	to	a	mental	institution	because	he	doesn't	want	to	kill	himself	.	while	there	,	he	notices	that	the	doctors	don't	care	about	the	patients	,	and	that	the	best	way	to	get	through	to	the	patients	is	to	treat	them	like	human	beings	.	so	,	patch	goes	on	a	crusade	to	be	a	great	doctor	who	actually	talks	to	his	patients	.	he	goes	to	medical	school	,	where	he	meets	truman	(	daniel	london	)	and	convinces	him	that	it's	good	to	help	people	.	he	also	meets	carin	fischer	(	monica	potters	)	,	the	anti	male	med	student	who	just	wants	to	go	through	the	motions	and	be	a	successful	doctor	.	naturally	,	the	dean	of	the	medical	school	(	bob	gunton	)	hates	patch	,	and	wants	to	thwart	his	plans	,	even	though	patch	gets	the	highest	scores	on	all	of	his	exams	.	so	patch	decides	that	he's	going	to	build	a	free	clinic	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	to	help	people	with	any	problem	they	may	have	.	and	that	,	my	friends	,	is	the	synopsis	for	what	is	easily	the	most	abhorrent	picture	of	1998	.	on	a	superficial	level	,	the	film	is	not	particularly	bad	:	i	wouldn't	say	the	cinematography	bothered	me	,	and	most	of	the	performances	seem	to	be	exactly	what	shadyac	was	aiming	for	(	i	actually	liked	potter's	performance	,	even	if	she	is	wasted	)	.	but	the	film	fails	fundamentally	in	execution	.	every	scene	swells	with	grand	,	"	emotional	"	music	,	played	at	maximum	volume	just	to	get	us	all	to	cry	real	hard	.	take	,	for	instance	,	the	first	scene	,	which	shows	patch	sitting	on	a	bus	.	we	don't	know	patch	yet	,	but	there's	sad	music	,	and	it's	supposed	to	make	us	really	sad	that	he's	sad	.	later	on	,	patch	makes	a	lot	of	progress	:	he	helps	a	dying	patient	(	peter	coyote	)	to	enjoy	the	last	days	of	his	life	,	and	the	music	as	patch	is	pushing	the	patient	recklessly	through	the	halls	of	the	hospital	is	very	lively	.	and	when	that	patient	finally	dies	(	spoiler	alert	!	)	,	the	music	is	very	very	sad	.	but	the	problem	with	all	of	this	is	that	the	music	should	not	be	the	center	of	the	emotions	.	real	drama	is	character	based	.	you	grow	to	like	someone	,	and	then	something	bad	happens	,	and	you	feel	it	.	we	don't	ever	grow	to	know	the	dying	patient	;	he's	simply	a	vehicle	for	patch's	greatness	.	real	drama	doesn't	seem	forced	,	or	present	just	to	make	the	audience	cry	.	that's	why	patch	adams	is	not	real	drama	.	it	goes	for	every	cheap	tear	imaginable	,	wringing	tired	and	overbearing	sentimentality	out	of	every	scene	.	even	scenes	that	have	very	little	impact	on	the	overall	film	are	drowning	in	marc	shaiman's	sickening	musical	score	.	sentimentality	like	this	is	indeed	bad	.	but	it's	not	as	bad	as	half	baked	,	simplistic	themes	.	you	see	,	patch	is	a	really	great	student	.	he	aces	his	tests	without	studying	,	and	does	it	so	effectively	that	people	think	he's	cheating	.	but	patch	doesn't	think	that	memorizing	facts	is	the	way	to	become	a	good	doctor	.	"	why	don't	we	see	patients	until	the	third	year	?	"	he	bursts	out	every	three	seconds	.	well	,	patch	,	that	might	have	something	to	do	with	the	fact	that	you	need	to	learn	something	before	you	go	treating	patients	.	not	everyone	has	the	capability	of	memorizing	facts	with	no	effort	.	most	of	us	have	to	study	.	and	a	doctor	who	really	wants	to	help	,	but	doesn't	know	a	toe	from	a	finger	,	probably	won't	be	too	successful	in	preventing	death	.	oh	wait	,	i	almost	forgot	:	the	point	of	doctors	is	not	just	to	"	prevent	death	,	"	but	to	"	improve	the	quality	of	life	!	"	yes	!	that	is	true	!	and	you	can	not	do	that	without	studying	.	you	can	not	do	that	without	going	to	medical	school	.	what	patch	never	seemed	to	understand	was	the	possibility	that	maybe	,	just	maybe	,	it	is	a	good	idea	to	study	first	and	talk	to	patients	later	.	follow	the	rules	?	bah	!	who	needs	the	rules	!	only	uptight	doctors	follow	the	rules	.	the	real	saviors	are	the	ones	running	around	the	hospitals	with	big	red	spheres	on	their	faces	and	sporting	baggy	yellow	pants	.	and	then	there's	the	free	clinic	issue	,	which	i	find	shockingly	,	frighteningly	idealistic	.	a	free	clinic	.	in	the	middle	of	the	forest	.	where	patients	can	be	taken	to	be	helped	.	for	free	.	how	will	patients	be	transported	to	the	free	clinic	?	will	it	have	an	emergency	room	?	or	is	it	just	for	mental	patients	?	and	who	,	may	i	ask	,	will	pay	for	it	?	the	film	does	give	some	token	attempts	to	question	patch's	motives	(	i	think	another	character	asks	him	how	he's	going	to	pay	for	it	,	in	addition	to	a	little	bit	of	meaningless	blather	about	hmos	and	medical	insurance	)	,	but	they	certainly	don't	explore	or	challenge	patch's	ideas	to	any	meaningful	extent	.	reader	,	please	understand	this	:	i	am	not	making	any	kind	of	judgment	on	the	real	patch	adams	.	i	know	nothing	about	him	.	if	his	beliefs	mirror	those	of	this	film	character	,	then	i	might	like	to	have	an	intelligent	discussion	with	him	about	them	.	but	regardless	of	what	the	real	patch	adams	believes	,	the	themes	put	forth	in	this	film	are	simplistic	and	phony	.	and	in	the	last	scene	,	the	big	,	obligatory	courtroom	scene	that	forced	my	lunch	halfway	up	my	esophagus	,	patch	does	a	lot	of	shouting	.	actually	,	robin	williams	does	a	lot	of	shouting	.	he	shouts	a	lot	about	helping	people	,	and	a	lot	of	people	cry	because	they	are	moved	by	his	words	.	i	won't	tell	you	that	you	can't	be	moved	by	his	words	,	because	i	,	too	,	was	moved	by	his	words	.	i	was	moved	in	such	a	profoundly	negative	way	that	i	was	reminded	of	how	cheap	and	phony	a	cinematic	experience	can	be	.	patch	adams	is	the	cheapest	of	them	all	.
neg	fairy	tale	claims	to	be	based	in	truth	,	from	the	writings	of	sir	arthur	conan	doyle	.	however	,	the	title	and	the	special	effects	might	lead	you	to	believe	this	is	a	children's	fantasy	.	unfortunately	,	this	inspired	attempt	at	a	sweet	story	fails	on	both	accounts	.	it's	subject	matter	and	dry	storytelling	are	much	to	advanced	for	children	,	and	is	too	dry	for	adults	.	the	film	focuses	on	a	pair	of	little	girls	,	cousins	who	roam	the	meadows	looking	for	fairies	.	what	sets	them	apart	is	from	the	adults	in	the	film	is	that	they	believe	in	the	existence	of	these	little	people	,	not	only	because	they	are	girls	at	play	,	but	because	they	have	actually	seen	them	.	the	adults	don't	develop	faith	until	the	girls	take	two	photographs	of	fairies	,	at	which	point	a	controversy	arises	,	do	they	exist	,	or	was	this	an	act	of	trickery	?	the	little	girls	and	the	fairies	should	be	the	focus	of	this	film	,	but	too	much	screen	time	is	devoted	to	harry	houdini	(	harvey	keitel	)	and	sir	arthur	conan	doyle	(	peter	o'toole	)	.	because	of	the	claimed	truthfulness	of	the	story	,	doyle	and	houdini	are	important	to	the	story	,	but	that	doesn't	mean	they	work	.	this	film	would	have	been	much	more	entertaining	both	for	children	and	for	adults	if	they	had	taken	the	doyle	storyline	,	and	applied	more	of	a	fantastic	twist	.	the	true	disappointment	for	me	was	that	the	fairies	only	appear	onscreen	briefly	,	and	we	never	get	to	meet	any	of	them	.	they	look	like	wonderful	characters	,	but	none	are	ever	explored	,	we	don't	know	their	names	,	we	don't	even	get	to	hear	them	talk	.	there	are	some	good	aspects	of	the	film	,	however	.	though	much	of	the	photography	is	standard	and	not	terribly	challenging	,	it	manages	to	capture	some	beautiful	scenery	quite	well	.	there	are	also	some	interesting	looks	at	the	early	days	of	photography	,	showing	us	cameras	from	the	early	20th	century	,	and	glass	plate	exposures	.	the	little	girls	are	quite	good	,	especially	frances	(	elizabeth	earl	)	.	she	has	a	cute	,	smart	and	almost	sassy	attitude	that	translates	quite	well	for	her	character	.	her	energy	is	always	high	and	she	has	some	of	the	more	enjoyable	dialogue	.	unfortunately	,	type	casting	does	have	its	place	in	filmmaking	,	and	even	the	most	versatile	of	typecast	actors	have	trouble	now	and	again	.	physcially	,	there	couldn't	be	a	better	match	for	harry	houdini	than	harvey	keitel	,	but	when	i	watched	him	in	this	,	i	couldn't	stop	images	of	the	pimp	from	taxi	driver	,	or	"	the	wolf	"	from	pulp	fiction	from	flooding	my	head	.	aside	from	the	fact	that	houdini	doesn't	make	much	of	an	impact	as	a	character	in	this	film	,	keitel	adds	to	the	distraction	.	fairy	tale	a	true	story	could	have	done	a	lot	more	.	had	it	decided	to	take	a	turn	into	more	fantasy	,	less	realism	,	this	could	have	been	a	real	success	.	but	the	only	time	the	children	in	the	audience	seemed	excited	,	and	asked	questions	of	their	parents	as	children	so	often	do	at	the	movies	,	was	when	the	faires	were	onscreen	.	it	seemed	a	shame	that	they	were	only	able	to	enjoy	the	film	for	those	fleeting	moments	.	coincidentally	,	the	two	girls	grew	up	to	become	old	women	,	and	confessed	that	the	photographs	were	indeed	fakes	.	so	why	couldn't	this	film	have	gone	deeper	into	fantasy	than	it	did	if	there	was	no	truth	to	it	.	.	.	.	.	?	two	out	of	four	stars	copyright	(	c	)	nicholas	amado	1997	hr	comments	?	complaints	?	debate	?	autos	for	sale	?	e	mail	me	a	href	"	mailto	:	namiam	aol	.	com	"	namiam	aol	.	com	a
neg	starring	:	william	hurt	(	prof	.	john	robinson	)	,	matt	leblanc	(	major	don	west	)	,	gary	oldman	(	dr	.	smith	)	,	heather	graham	(	judy	robinson	)	;	written	by	akiva	goldsman	;	produced	by	carla	fry	,	akiva	goldsman	,	stephen	hopkins	,	mark	w	.	koch	;	directed	by	stephen	hopkins	;	based	on	the	1965	cbs	television	series	.	seen	may	2	,	1998	at	3	:	40	p	.	m	.	at	the	crossgates	cinema	18	,	theater	13	,	with	chris	wessell	and	sean	o'shea	for	5	.	theater	rating	:	1	2	:	very	good	sound	,	picture	,	and	seats	the	big	budget	,	mega	hype	"	event	"	movie	is	becoming	so	trendy	now	it	is	becoming	a	weekly	routine	instead	of	a	seasonal	one	.	gluttony	is	hollywood's	favorite	sin	,	but	it	is	the	movie	goers	who	pay	the	price	by	being	dealt	the	same	things	over	and	over	on	an	ever	worsening	basis	.	"	lost	in	space	"	is	the	latest	such	offering	a	film	so	poor	it	would	be	twice	as	good	if	it	were	mediocre	.	it's	made	up	of	every	element	of	science	fiction	,	but	at	no	time	does	it	evoke	the	slightest	amount	of	wonderment	the	genre	was	meant	for	.	audiences'	attention	spans	are	rapidly	decreasing	and	as	is	the	trend	with	such	films	,	this	one	opens	with	a	fast	paced	space	battle	which	serves	not	only	as	the	most	interesting	scene	in	the	film	(	probably	because	it	has	"	star	wars	"	written	all	over	it	)	,	but	as	the	producers'	way	of	showing	off	their	budget	through	the	special	effects	.	battle	scenes	are	worthless	without	tension	,	and	since	we	have	no	idea	what	the	setting	is	it's	impossible	to	care	about	anything	that	happens	.	in	essence	,	the	entire	segment	works	like	a	teaser	for	an	arcade	game	,	not	a	piece	of	filmmaking	.	we	meet	the	robinson	family	a	family	of	five	that	does	not	get	along	but	has	been	chosen	to	act	on	earth's	behalf	in	effort	to	find	another	planet	worthy	of	colonization	due	to	the	exhausting	of	our	natural	resources	.	each	member	of	the	family	has	a	special	trait	and	personality	,	and	yet	none	of	them	seem	like	actual	people	.	professor	john	robinson	(	hurt	)	is	the	intelligent	,	quiet	leader	who	has	devoted	so	much	time	to	his	work	his	family	and	marriage	are	suffering	without	his	realizing	it	(	it's	obvious	what	role	this	aspect	will	play	)	.	of	course	this	is	all	established	through	extremely	melodramatic	scenes	such	as	the	children	and	parents	arguing	and	bickering	among	themselves	and	with	each	other	,	while	the	necessary	problems	are	"	resolved	"	at	the	right	moments	.	the	only	thing	worse	than	the	screenplay	is	the	fact	it's	presented	in	a	completely	serious	manner	without	a	trace	of	satire	,	and	is	so	pathetic	it's	laughable	.	the	first	act	is	not	a	building	of	a	story	,	but	a	juxtaposition	of	scenes	that	serve	no	purpose	other	than	to	plug	in	all	the	required	elements	(	such	as	plot	,	conflict	,	and	characterization	god	forbid	!	)	.	we're	provided	with	the	minimum	amount	possible	of	these	elements	to	keep	the	film	from	being	completely	silent	.	in	fact	,	it	might	as	well	be	since	the	dialogue	is	virtually	non	existent	.	yes	,	the	characters	do	speak	,	but	they	do	not	talk	.	they	say	things	that	only	relate	to	the	conflict	,	but	they	never	really	interact	(	unless	it's	the	cartoony	flirting	scenes	between	arrogant	major	don	west	(	leblanc	)	and	uptight	,	unemotional	judy	robinson	(	graham	)	)	.	it's	amazing	that	after	an	hour	of	trite	dialogue	and	generic	plot	devices	that	so	little	happens	.	eventually	the	pacing	rapidly	increases	,	but	the	amount	of	genuine	interest	does	not	.	the	story	finally	gains	some	prospective	by	living	up	to	its	title	as	the	robinsons	find	themselves	lost	in	space	after	narrowly	managing	to	defeat	dr	.	smith	(	oldman	)	,	the	cartoony	villain	,	and	his	plans	for	sabotage	.	what	ensues	is	a	series	upon	series	of	completely	unrelated	conflicts	.	the	first	such	scene	takes	place	on	an	abandoned	spaceship	and	what	ensues	could	best	be	described	as	"	alien	"	lite	.	the	story	changes	again	when	the	robinsons	crash	land	on	an	alien	planet	and	must	act	quickly	to	escape	it	and	survive	.	but	there's	never	any	real	notion	of	suspense	here	because	the	script	constantly	wanders	aimlessly	.	plotlines	are	developed	,	but	each	becomes	totally	irrelevant	as	the	story	changes	from	scenario	to	scenario	.	the	atmosphere	attempts	to	be	surreal	by	incorporating	time	travel	and	various	time	paradoxes	,	but	it's	presented	in	such	a	ridiculous	way	it's	utterly	boring	.	by	the	time	the	last	act	rolls	around	,	there	is	no	sense	of	a	payoff	building	.	the	ending	does	not	go	out	on	a	high	note	with	any	kind	of	climax	,	instead	,	it	seems	to	come	to	a	sudden	halt	(	but	at	least	it	ends	at	all	)	.	"	lost	in	space	"	is	major	film	production	at	its	worst	.	it's	frightening	that	a	film	so	poorly	written	,	directed	,	and	acted	might	be	considered	mainstream	entertainment	.	hr	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	190	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.
neg	stallone	attempts	to	'act'	in	this	cop	drama	.	the	film	is	set	in	a	neighbourhood	pratically	built	by	kietal	,	who's	nephew	(	played	by	michael	rappaport	)	is	involved	in	a	car	crash	and	killing	of	two	black	youths	.	keital	dosen't	really	want	to	get	involved	in	anything	,	gets	rid	of	rappaport	,	and	stallone	and	de	niro	try	to	work	out	what	the	hell	is	going	on	.	this	film	should	be	brilliant	.	it	sounds	like	a	great	plot	,	the	actors	are	first	grade	,	and	the	supporting	cast	is	good	aswell	,	and	stallone	is	attempting	to	deliver	a	good	performance	.	however	,	it	can't	hold	up	.	although	the	acting	is	fantastic	(	even	stallone	isn't	bad	)	the	directing	and	story	is	dull	and	long	winded	some	scenes	go	on	for	too	long	,	with	nothing	really	happening	in	them	.	in	fact	,	the	only	scenes	that	do	work	are	action	scenes	,	which	i	suspect	stallone	was	trying	to	avoid	.	in	this	film	,	serious	means	dull	.	the	dialogue	is	warbling	,	and	basically	just	repeats	the	same	points	over	and	over	,	no	matter	who	is	delivering	them	.	the	plot	,	which	has	potential	,	is	wasted	,	again	just	being	cliched	after	a	while	.	in	fact	,	the	only	thing	that	does	keep	the	film	going	is	kietal	and	de	niro	,	both	delivering	their	usual	good	performances	.	however	,	stallone	,	although	not	given	much	to	say	,	gives	a	good	performance	.	however	,	it's	not	all	that	bad	.	as	said	above	,	the	action	scenes	are	well	done	.	theres	also	a	very	good	ending	,	which	uses	the	cinemas	sound	system	well	.	in	fact	,	the	last	10	minutes	of	this	2	hour	film	are	one	of	the	best	endings	of	1997	.	if	only	the	rest	of	the	film	was	as	good	as	the	ending	.	cop	land	,	then	,	turns	out	not	to	be	a	power	house	film	,	but	a	rather	dull	,	and	not	every	exciting	film	.	hugely	disappointing	,	and	i	can't	really	recommend	it	.
neg	rated	:	r	for	strong	violence	,	language	,	drug	use	,	nudity	,	and	some	sexuality	.	starring	:	wesley	snipes	,	anne	archer	,	michael	chaykin	,	donald	sutherland	,	marie	matiko	.	i've	never	fully	understood	wesley	snipes's	career	.	he	has	his	ups	and	downs	,	but	mostly	the	downs	.	his	best	movie	was	one	of	the	best	of	1998	and	that	movie	was	entitled	"	blade	"	.	he	has	had	his	typical	action	movies	,	"	boiling	point	"	,	"	passenger	57	"	,	but	his	new	movie	"	the	art	of	war	"	should	just	be	called	"	rising	sun	2	:	the	art	of	war	"	cause	basically	it's	a	semi	remake	of	the	same	plot	,	with	a	different	cast	,	and	forced	to	be	a	ridiculously	unbelievable	thriller	,	that	is	high	on	style	and	low	on	substance	.	wesley	snipes	plays	a	james	bondish	type	secret	agent	working	for	the	u	.	n	.	after	a	chinese	ambassador	is	killed	,	he	is	on	the	track	of	the	killer	,	trying	to	find	out	who	it	is	,	how	it	happened	,	where	the	killer	was	,	and	what	to	do	.	anne	archer	plays	his	"	boss	"	type	person	of	the	u	.	n	.	and	she	has	hired	snipes	to	track	down	the	killer	.	well	snipes	is	mistakenly	framed	as	the	killer	,	and	is	now	an	outlaw	,	kidnapping	a	chinese	woman	with	him	,	and	having	her	help	him	along	the	way	.	all	this	leads	to	a	finale	that	is	so	dumb	,	and	so	stupid	that	is	it	unbelievably	dumb	,	and	the	stunts	,	dialogue	and	acting	all	ruin	this	movie	.	wesley	snipes	isn't	one	of	my	favorite	actors	because	of	the	fact	that	the	character	he	plays	in	every	movie	is	the	same	character	he	plays	in	the	movie	before	.	the	only	good	role	snipes	has	really	had	was	in	1998's	"	blade	"	.	i	walked	into	"	the	art	of	war	"	expecting	a	good	,	high	octane	thriller	,	and	all	i	got	was	a	pile	of	mush	.	the	only	real	'good'	thing	the	movie	has	is	action	,	and	plenty	of	it	,	but	i	noticed	it	is	badly	filmed	,	the	camera	is	so	shaky	you	cannot	even	tell	what	is	going	on	.	the	ending	finale	is	so	worthless	and	pitiful	,	that	it	even	tries	to	mock	"	the	matrix	"	,	laughably	funny	,	it	is	undeniably	stupid	.	christian	duguay's	direction	is	also	not	that	great	.	his	camera	angles	and	sense	of	style	are	all	in	place	,	but	sadly	his	lighting	and	editing	are	all	badly	done	.	even	the	whole	"	matrix	"	ending	wasn't	even	good	.	the	stunts	and	action	are	badly	filmed	,	and	badly	choreographed	.	his	placing	of	the	characters	,	and	the	assination	of	the	chinese	ambassador	,	and	the	plotting	of	the	movie	are	so	predictable	and	laughable	,	that	it	just	takes	all	the	fun	out	of	the	entire	movie	.	anne	archer	who	is	usually	good	in	her	roles	,	turns	in	a	horrible	job	here	.	she	is	sour	,	downbeat	,	and	dreadfully	dull	with	her	forced	dialogue	,	and	dumb	moves	.	even	donald	sutherland	as	a	co	star	can't	save	this	movie	from	being	a	bust	.	so	for	an	overall	opinion	:	"	the	art	of	war	"	is	a	total	waste	of	time	.	it's	not	entertaining	,	nor	exciting	,	or	even	action	packed	.	it	is	a	pointless	movie	,	and	makes	absolutely	no	sense	at	all	.	if	you	really	want	to	see	a	good	version	of	"	the	art	of	war	"	,	rent	the	wesley	snipes	and	sean	connery	action	vehicle	of	the	same	kind	"	rising	sun	"	,	it	isn't	a	great	film	either	,	but	at	least	it's	better	than	this	.
neg	some	houses	should	never	be	visited	.	and	some	movies	should	never	be	remade	.	the	haunting	represents	both	of	those	tenets	.	a	loose	remake	of	the	1963	haunting	,	this	version	gives	us	a	creepy	haunted	house	and	four	hapless	people	to	populate	it	.	chief	among	them	is	eleanor	(	taylor	)	,	a	real	wacko	who	believes	there	are	children's	spirits	in	the	house	that	speak	to	her	.	and	she's	right	!	wow	,	original	!	and	hey	kids	,	the	sexy	zeta	jones	plays	a	bisexual	in	the	movie	!	oooooh	,	scandalous	!	(	sarcasm	,	people	.	)	so	how	does	jan	de	bont	,	made	famous	as	director	of	speed	but	best	known	as	the	director	of	speed	2	:	cruise	control	,	get	to	make	a	horror	film	?	he	was	probably	the	only	sucker	in	hollywood	desperate	enough	to	take	a	dog	of	a	film	like	this	.	the	fact	that	he's	never	done	a	horror	flick	just	compounds	the	problems	.	as	a	result	,	the	haunting	is	not	scary	at	all	.	instead	it's	just	a	conglomeration	of	cheap	fright	tactics	and	a	booming	bass	track	meant	to	get	you	to	jump	out	of	your	seat	.	which	doesn't	work	.	the	haunting	also	features	such	a	dumb	story	line	and	such	bad	dialogue	it's	almost	pathetic	.	for	a	horror	film	to	be	frequently	boring	is	unforgivable	.	and	i	wager	that	anyone	who	bothers	to	spend	money	on	this	lemon	won't	be	able	to	forgive	themselves	either	.	a	really	cool	set	(	that	ultimately	serves	no	purpose	)	is	the	only	shining	spot	in	the	film	.	otherwise	,	feel	free	to	skip	this	one	.
neg	writers	:	dennis	feldman	and	jonathan	hensleigh	(	based	on	the	comic	book	by	chuck	pfarrer	)	starring	:	jamie	lee	curtis	,	william	baldwin	,	donald	sutherland	,	joanna	pacula	,	sherman	augustus	,	marshall	bell	,	cliff	curtis	,	julio	oscar	mechoso	i	suppose	i'm	not	extremely	surprised	that	"	virus	"	comes	to	us	from	a	deciple	of	james	cameron	(	john	bruno	)	,	and	if	i	strain	real	hard	,	i	could	even	say	that	it's	an	obvious	given	,	particuarly	looking	from	the	standpoint	of	mr	.	cameron's	early	works	.	in	fact	,	"	virus	"	is	yet	another	in	the	long	line	of	action	horror	paranoia	thrillers	from	the	"	aliens	"	vein	:	a	group	of	people	are	dropped	into	a	mysterious	situation	only	to	find	a	mortally	threatening	entity	is	out	to	get	them	,	a	textbook	example	hailing	all	the	way	back	to	the	early	talkies	,	and	maybe	even	to	the	first	pictures	,	albeit	redeveloped	by	cameron	in	his	1986	blockbuster	that	earned	him	esteem	and	bigger	budgets	to	come	in	his	future	.	no	such	thing	will	happen	to	bruno	,	whom	i	believe	worked	in	some	capacity	on	that	quasi	landmark	feature	;	while	bruno	may	have	studied	under	cameron's	wing	for	years	and	years	,	i'm	beginning	to	wonder	at	what	capacity	,	and	what	exactly	did	he	learn	from	him	.	in	fact	,	"	virus	"	should	at	least	be	mediocre	;	the	fact	that	bruno	could	have	worked	under	a	man	like	cameron	a	director	who	,	if	anything	,	just	knows	how	to	make	a	movie	and	then	make	a	film	like	"	virus	"	is	just	another	detraction	fairly	aimed	at	this	z	grade	schlockfest	of	a	film	,	albeit	a	z	grade	schlockfest	with	a	respectable	budget	.	the	film	seems	to	not	only	borrow	it's	plot	from	last	year's	similarly	fated	"	deep	rising	,	"	but	also	from	a	clunkish	b	movie	from	the	'80s	called	"	leviathan	,	"	an	underwater	thriller	starring	peter	weller	,	richard	crenna	,	hector	elizando	,	and	daniel	stern	about	a	group	of	miners	who	stumble	upon	an	alien	lifeform	that	was	part	"	alien	,	"	part	john	carpenter's	twisted	remake	of	"	the	thing	.	"	"	virus	,	"	again	,	has	a	similar	,	uh	,	selling	point	:	a	group	of	sailors	on	a	boat	stumble	upon	a	russian	cruiser	that	is	dead	in	the	water	.	they	get	on	.	they	break	up	into	pairs	and	investigate	.	and	they	find	an	alien	lifeform	on	board	that	comes	in	the	form	of	energy	,	has	taken	over	all	the	machines	on	board	,	have	meshed	the	machines	with	parts	from	corpses	,	and	have	deemed	humankind	their	enemy	because	of	a	misquote	in	the	dictionary	(	ha	ha	)	.	not	that	any	of	this	is	for	a	second	scary	or	the	least	bit	involving	;	not	only	does	this	film	start	off	with	a	chintzy	bond	ian	opening	(	the	destruction	of	the	cruiser	via	a	satellite	transmission	from	mir	)	,	destroying	any	of	the	suspense	in	what	could	happen	,	but	it	also	fails	to	bring	us	any	interesting	chracters	.	of	its	motley	crew	,	it	only	choses	as	its	potentially	eccentric	cast	of	characters	a	lead	woman	skipper	,	a	masculine	potential	romantic	interest	,	a	drunken	captain	,	a	black	technician	,	a	tatooed	aborigine	,	a	manic	russian	survivor	,	and	a	couple	other	candidates	for	alien	food	,	none	whom	are	the	least	bit	interesting	or	more	dimensional	than	a	thin	,	plain	piece	of	writing	paper	.	and	it's	not	the	traditional	argument	for	films	like	these	,	where	you	may	in	fact	want	them	all	to	be	eaten	(	even	"	aliens	"	played	with	the	karma	of	the	arrogant	soldiers	,	but	this	was	more	of	a	plus	side	for	the	film	as	a	whole	than	the	opposite	)	;	instead	,	as	another	cliche	goes	,	you	just	don't	give	a	damn	.	i	almost	don't	even	have	to	say	that	the	acting	from	everyone	ranges	from	sub	par	to	horrific	,	the	former	being	jamie	lee	curtis	in	the	lead	showing	off	what	a	strong	female	lead	she	is	(	and	she	is	,	just	not	really	here	)	and	the	latter	being	and	it	pains	me	to	say	this	as	he's	a	particular	favorite	of	mine	donald	sutherland	,	who	plays	the	captain	so	poorly	and	without	a	second	of	credibility	that	this	will	go	down	as	the	performance	of	which	he	should	be	ashamed	.	like	anthony	hopkins	for	"	legends	of	the	fall	"	(	the	line	"	scrooooooo	'em	"	has	been	thus	embroidered	upon	my	membrance	)	.	or	peter	o'toole	in	"	caligula	.	"	great	actor	,	horrific	performance	.	it	happens	every	now	and	then	,	and	it	only	helps	sutherland's	career	that	no	one	,	except	for	an	elite	few	,	even	bothered	to	see	this	film	.	though	it	has	sat	on	the	shelves	of	universal	studios	for	about	two	years	,	waiting	until	it	can	be	released	and	make	as	much	money	as	it	possibly	can	(	read	:	early	january	,	when	everyone's	still	trying	to	catch	up	on	the	potential	oscar	nominees	)	,	it	does	show	that	universal	shelled	out	a	pretty	penny	to	make	this	film	:	it's	laden	with	complex	machinery	,	boasts	respectable	production	design	,	and	it	may	even	feature	believable	special	effects	.	.	.	if	,	of	course	,	i	,	or	anyone	else	,	could	see	them	.	"	virus	"	mostly	takes	place	on	a	large	,	abandoned	cruiser	,	and	mostly	at	night	until	the	dawn	,	and	mostly	without	the	use	of	lights	,	not	so	much	for	the	productivity	of	the	alien	creatures	in	their	pursuit	of	their	human	prey	,	but	more	so	because	,	as	the	hollywood	cliche	seems	to	go	,	"	if	it's	dark	enough	,	then	the	special	effects	will	be	more	believable	.	"	and	if	you	don't	believe	me	,	go	back	and	rent	"	godzilla	,	"	and	tell	me	if	there's	even	one	shot	where	we	see	godzilla	either	a	)	in	his	entirety	in	one	wide	shot	,	or	b	)	n	the	light	so	that	we	can	at	least	see	him	(	well	,	you	don't	really	have	to	sit	through	it	again	;	just	take	my	word	for	it	)	.	but	all	of	this	doesn't	matter	since	"	virus	"	is	basically	just	one	loud	,	cluttered	mess	of	a	movie	.	the	action	scenes	are	muddled	and	as	difficult	to	follow	as	any	action	movie	i've	ever	seen	(	my	,	um	,	favorite	part	was	the	scene	where	a	trio	of	them	end	up	somehow	on	the	outside	of	the	ship	,	during	a	five	minute	bouillabaisse	of	tidal	waves	,	rain	,	and	any	other	ocean	extremeties	the	film	can	cook	up	,	then	end	up	back	in	the	ship	when	one	of	them	is	revealed	to	have	apparently	drowned	well	,	i	must	say	,	thanks	for	telling	me	afterwards	because	i	sure	couldn't	figure	it	out	when	i	saw	it	)	.	imagine	the	first	attack	of	the	aliens	in	"	aliens	,	"	shot	from	the	pov	of	the	soldiers	and	then	the	authorities	in	the	battle	car	if	it	was	all	hard	to	follow	and	done	without	any	dramatic	intensity	,	and	that's	basically	the	whole	of	"	virus	"	:	one	horribly	directed	action	scene	after	the	other	,	capping	it	off	with	a	proposterous	gadget	that	saves	the	day	and	at	least	a	couple	of	the	original	cast	members	.	and	my	god	,	it's	a	long	damn	sit	.	with	no	interesting	characters	,	no	dramatic	urgency	,	no	tension	,	not	one	good	moment	of	action	,	and	no	mesmerizing	visuals	,	it's	a	wonder	that	it	even	got	made	.	we	already	know	that	big	movie	studios'	mentality	is	shallow	at	best	,	and	movies	like	"	out	of	sight	"	and	"	saving	private	ryan	"	give	you	more	faith	in	them	,	but	movies	like	"	virus	"	manage	to	drain	a	little	more	out	of	the	pool	.	i	almost	wish	that	instead	of	making	this	movie	,	john	bruno	had	gone	cinema	verite	and	captured	the	meetings	with	universal	heads	when	they	gave	this	film	a	green	light	.	they	read	the	script	,	they	knew	they	were	entrusting	millions	upon	millions	of	dollars	into	a	director	who	might	have	very	well	been	a	cameron	hack	(	and	he	is	)	,	and	they	still	went	ahead	with	the	project	,	only	to	have	bruno	and	company	shit	back	in	their	face	.	even	though	i	hold	universal	in	contempt	for	making	this	horrible	movie	,	i'd	say	even	more	contempt	should	be	aimed	at	mr	.	bruno	for	making	a	movie	that	could	be	this	bad	.	in	fact	,	shouts	of	"	egad	,	man	,	what	were	you	doing	when	you	worked	for	cameron	anyway	?	"	are	not	only	justifiable	,	but	encouraged	.
neg	it	seems	that	david	lynch's	adaptation	of	frank	herbert's	epic	science	fiction	novel	dune	(	1984	)	wasn't	enough	to	convince	people	that	this	classic	works	far	better	on	the	page	.	at	least	that	box	office	fiasco	packs	in	some	interesting	lynchian	perversions	.	besides	,	how	can	you	go	wrong	with	a	cast	that	includes	patrick	stewart	,	max	von	sydow	,	and	alicia	witt	as	a	bald	,	pint	sized	,	knife	wielding	child	?	let	me	tell	you	something	,	buddy	you	can't	top	that	!	maybe	it	ain't	herbert's	vision	of	dune	,	but	it's	fun	at	parties	.	so	someone	in	the	sci	fi	channel	marketing	department	thought	that	they'd	be	able	to	create	the	definitive	version	of	the	novel	,	making	much	ballyhoo	over	it	in	the	press	.	"	this	is	the	way	frank	herbert	intended	it	!	"	yes	,	yes	,	i'm	sure	he	was	precisely	thinking	of	static	,	made	for	television	sets	lifted	from	star	trek	:	the	next	generation	,	bathed	in	nauseating	greens	,	oranges	,	and	fire	engine	reds	.	instead	of	lynchian	puppets	and	latex	gore	,	we're	treated	to	phony	bluescreens	,	computer	generated	b	movie	effects	,	and	a	series	of	unrealistic	matte	paintings	(	at	least	,	they	looked	like	matte	paintings	the	press	kit	says	they	filmed	in	prague	and	tunisia	!	)	and	what's	up	with	those	gauche	costumes	,	a	cross	between	japanese	kimonos	and	ronald	mcdonald	.	something	is	clearly	wrong	here	.	an	attempt	to	summarize	herbert's	richly	layered	plot	would	prove	confounding	,	what	with	his	fastidious	attention	to	detail	.	we'll	stick	with	the	cliff's	notes	version	:	spice	is	the	key	to	time	travel	,	so	ruthless	barons	and	emperors	across	the	galaxy	negotiate	to	get	their	greedy	stinking	hands	on	as	much	of	it	as	possible	.	he	who	controls	the	spice	controls	the	universe	.	with	his	eye	on	the	prize	,	stalwart	duke	leto	atreities	(	william	hurt	,	given	top	billing	but	whacked	pretty	quick	)	picks	up	stakes	from	his	homeland	and	moves	to	the	desert	planet	known	as	dune	.	comfortably	settled	into	his	new	digs	,	he	proceeds	to	mine	for	the	spice	and	teach	his	brash	young	son	paul	(	alec	newman	)	about	the	birds	and	the	bees	.	bizarre	omens	forebode	that	duke	leto	will	be	slain	,	and	that	young	paul	will	be	groomed	as	the	prophesied	messiah	to	lead	the	fremen	(	rogue	desert	warriors	)	to	salvation	and	freedom	?	slobbering	baron	vladimir	harkonnen	(	ian	mcneice	)	,	sleek	emperor	shaddam	iv	(	giancarlo	giannini	,	hannibal	)	and	other	diabolical	forces	work	intricate	plots	against	the	good	guys	.	a	traitor	,	an	assassination	attempt	,	and	an	ambush	all	figure	into	play	before	paul	and	his	pouting	cosmopolitan	mother	(	saskia	reeves	)	are	cast	out	into	the	wild	.	will	paul	be	groomed	by	the	fremen	tribes	to	fight	in	a	ritualized	kung	fu	fight	with	feyd	rautha	harkonnen	(	matt	keeslar	,	the	last	days	of	disco	)	?	he	damned	well	better	,	lads	,	because	this	is	a	six	hour	epic	!	all	of	the	shoddy	production	elements	would	be	forgiven	if	there	was	a	halfway	decent	cast	holding	this	house	of	cards	together	.	hurt	wanders	through	early	scenes	mumbling	his	lines	,	coasting	on	what	i	hope	was	a	fat	paycheck	.	he	at	least	exudes	regal	presence	,	whereas	newman's	paul	atreities	(	played	with	authority	by	kyle	maclachlan	in	lynch's	version	)	is	less	a	boy	prince	than	a	refugee	from	a	boy	band	.	the	women	are	a	gaggle	of	weak	willed	geese	,	with	julie	cox	especially	bratty	as	the	emperor's	daughter	.	her	"	flirting	"	scenes	with	paul	will	not	only	disgust	fans	of	herbert's	book	(	for	which	their	relationship	is	purely	a	matter	of	social	convenience	and	political	tact	)	,	but	will	also	turn	off	anyone	who	happened	to	be	taking	this	malarkey	seriously	.	when	did	the	sci	fi	space	opera	turn	into	teen	beat	?	i	hate	to	keep	returning	to	the	lynch	version	,	but	it	was	really	so	much	better	.	even	if	you	didn't	catch	all	the	new	language	or	rituals	originated	by	frank	herbert	(	for	he	is	the	kwizatz	haderach	!	)	,	you	accepted	it	as	dream	logic	.	better	to	be	entertained	and	confused	than	casually	dismissive	,	which	is	as	much	as	this	new	dune	deserves	.
neg	mortal	kombat	:	annihilation	starring	:	robin	shou	(	liu	kang	)	,	tailsa	soto	(	princess	kitana	)	directed	by	:	john	r	.	leonetti	,	written	by	:	brent	v	.	friedman	and	bryce	zabel	from	a	story	by	lawrence	kasanoff	,	john	tobias	,	and	joshua	wexler	.	rated	pg	13	by	the	mpaa	for	some	strong	language	and	plenty	of	violence	,	mostly	of	the	martial	arts	variety	.	bah	buh	bah	bah	buhbuh	,	bah	buh	bah	bah	bahbuh	,	bah	bah	bah	buh	bahbuh	,	bah	bah	buhbahbuhbuhbah	okay	,	so	chances	are	you've	heard	that	now	famous	outcry	and	the	techno	music	that	follows	it	,	either	on	commercials	for	the	movies	,	or	the	video	games	,	or	on	the	soundtracks	for	the	games	or	movies	,	or	in	the	movies	themselves	.	in	this	,	the	sequel	to	the	original	mortal	kombat	film	,	titled	mortal	kombat	:	annihilation	,	that	theme	music	is	still	intact	,	and	,	just	like	the	last	time	,	bolts	into	our	ears	right	from	the	new	line	cinema	logo	.	however	,	it's	almost	the	only	thing	that's	still	around	from	the	first	film	.	in	order	to	review	mortal	kombat	:	annihilation	,	one	must	have	an	opinion	of	the	original	,	since	this	essentially	just	tries	to	be	more	of	the	same	.	okay	.	i	truly	liked	mortal	kombat	.	yes	,	i	really	did	.	maybe	the	plot	was	sort	of	basic	,	but	it	was	fun	.	it	was	one	of	the	most	fun	movies	of	the	summer	of	1995	.	it	had	some	funny	dialouge	,	some	appealing	actors	(	and	some	not	so	much	)	,	some	nice	effects	,	plenty	of	extremely	well	choreographed	martial	arts	battles	,	and	a	cool	,	pumping	soundtrack	.	and	,	of	course	,	it	was	directed	very	well	by	the	talented	paul	anderson	,	who	could	have	a	great	career	as	long	as	he	avoids	crap	like	event	horizon	from	now	on	.	now	the	sequel	is	upon	us	.	the	martial	arts	battles	aren't	as	well	choreographed	,	but	they're	still	pretty	good	.	unfortunately	,	the	directing	is	nowhere	near	as	good	as	in	the	original	,	and	it	dilutes	the	quality	of	the	fights	.	the	villian	isn't	nearly	as	imposing	,	many	of	the	original	actors	have	been	replaced	for	the	worse	,	the	effects	might	have	been	impressive	in	1992	,	it's	filled	with	extraneous	subplots	and	characters	,	and	,	well	,	basically	this	movie	just	plain	sucks	.	robin	shou	is	honestly	trying	here	.	you	can	tell	.	he	wants	this	to	really	not	suck	.	sandra	hess	wants	to	have	an	acting	career	,	that's	obvious	.	.	.	so	it's	good	news	for	her	that	she's	better	than	the	original	actress	behind	sonya	blade	(	bridgette	wilson	)	.	in	fact	,	she's	not	bad	at	all	.	i	wouldn't	mind	horribly	if	i	saw	her	again	.	.	.	in	some	other	film	,	of	course	.	talisa	soto	seems	sort	of	bored	with	this	.	she	obviously	beefed	up	her	martial	arts	training	,	but	when	she's	acting	,	she's	rather	stiff	,	just	like	in	the	original	.	of	course	,	that's	kitana's	character	for	you	,	i	guess	.	as	a	side	note	,	her	sudden	romance	with	liu	kang	is	utterly	ludicrous	,	and	has	no	place	here	it's	just	another	piece	of	excess	baggage	for	the	plot	to	carry	.	the	only	person	putting	forth	anything	resembeling	effort	is	litefoot	,	who	plays	nightwolf	,	at	least	for	the	whopping	two	minutes	that	he's	on	the	screen	.	this	guy	deserves	better	.	james	remar	replaces	christopher	lambert	as	rayden	,	and	does	a	shoddy	job	.	lambert	was	perfect	for	this	role	.	however	,	remar	isn't	given	much	to	work	with	here	,	anyway	.	our	villian	,	shao	kahn	(	brian	thompson	)	shouts	a	lot	,	but	that	doesn't	mean	he's	threatening	.	kahn's	father	is	more	interesting	,	but	doesn't	do	much	.	johnny	cage	,	the	most	fun	of	the	characters	in	the	original	,	is	played	by	another	actor	as	well	(	linden	ashby	is	having	fun	doing	"	melrose	place	"	by	now	)	,	and	is	killed	in	the	first	five	minutes	.	this	is	pure	idiocy	at	work	,	people	.	there's	no	reason	for	his	death	.	it	just	opens	up	for	another	comic	relief	character	to	appear	,	jax	,	played	by	lynn	"	red	"	williams	,	previously	known	as	"	sabre	"	on	american	gladiators	.	he	gets	a	few	funny	lines	,	but	is	no	where	near	as	amusing	as	johnny	cage	was	.	williams	just	tries	too	hard	to	be	will	smith	.	he	seems	to	have	some	talent	buried	in	him	that	briefly	shines	through	here	and	there	,	but	overall	,	it's	not	really	on	display	here	.	tons	of	characters	show	up	for	no	reason	,	and	bring	up	sub	plots	that	have	no	point	.	one	example	is	when	sub	zero	(	keith	cooke	)	appears	.	he	states	that	the	sub	zero	that	liu	kang	killed	in	the	original	was	his	brother	,	and	that	a	robot	,	smoke	,	has	been	reprogrammed	to	go	after	kang	,	instead	of	original	target	,	sub	zero	himself	.	why	was	the	robot	going	after	subbie	?	why	was	it	reprogrammed	?	why	did	sub	zero	bother	to	save	kang	?	why	did	he	take	up	the	mantle	of	his	brother	?	how	does	he	do	those	cool	ice	manuvers	?	why	do	none	of	the	writers	of	this	movie	care	to	tell	us	any	of	this	?	sub	zero	is	off	the	screen	about	three	minutes	after	he	appears	,	and	never	comes	back	.	what	was	the	point	?	other	characters	,	like	rain	(	tyrone	wiggins	)	and	mileena	(	dana	hee	)	,	pop	up	in	gaudy	costumes	and	don't	even	last	the	three	minutes	that	sub	zero	does	.	and	who	honestly	cares	about	the	woman	that	shows	up	calling	herself	jade	(	irina	pantaeva	)	?	this	is	worse	than	the	"	street	fighter	"	movie's	overflow	of	characters	.	what	were	they	thinking	?	considering	the	advancements	in	effects	since	the	original	kombat	,	it's	also	distressing	that	the	effects	in	this	sequel	are	rather	shoddy	.	in	fact	,	we	had	some	movies	that	had	better	cgi	effects	back	in	1992	,	such	as	terminator	2	and	alien	3	.	oh	well	.	some	things	in	this	movie	seemed	to	be	tossed	in	just	because	they	allowed	the	chance	for	cheesy	effects	.	c'mon	,	did	we	really	need	that	lame	"	animality	"	sub	plot	?	at	least	the	soundtrack	succeeds	in	doing	what	the	original's	did	:	it	makes	hard	rock	and	techno	sound	good	and	fun	by	setting	it	to	martial	arts	battles	,	and	making	those	genres	of	music	sound	good	is	not	a	horribly	easy	feat	.	but	still	,	the	original's	is	better	.	overall	,	this	is	just	another	bad	sequel	.	it's	about	on	the	level	of	this	year's	batman	robin	,	and	that's	really	a	shame	.	the	whole	plot	is	a	jumble	it's	tough	to	care	much	about	what's	going	on	.	the	first	one	was	fun	,	but	this	is	just	a	big	mess	.	it	looks	like	1995's	mortal	kombat	remains	the	only	truly	good	video	game	based	film	so	far	.	the	mistakes	here	are	so	obvious	.	this	should've	been	better	.
neg	osmosis	jones	(	2001	)	.	1	1	2	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	bill	murray	,	chris	elliott	,	elena	franklin	and	molly	shannon	,	plus	the	vocal	talents	of	chris	rock	,	david	hyde	pierce	,	laurence	fishburne	,	brandy	norwood	and	william	shatner	.	written	by	marc	hyman	.	directed	by	peter	farrelly	and	bobby	farrelly	.	animation	directed	by	piet	kroon	and	tom	sito	.	rated	pg	.	approx	.	100	minutes	.	the	idea	for	osmosis	jones	is	most	imaginative	:	a	live	action	animation	feature	about	a	slovenly	man	and	the	battle	his	body	rages	against	an	invading	virus	.	it's	a	shame	the	execution	of	this	concept	falls	very	short	of	its	premise	.	the	movie	is	lacking	and	most	unsatisfying	.	osmosis	jones	is	crude	,	gross	,	disgusting	,	and	was	directed	by	the	farrelly	brothers	the	twisted	siblings	behind	there's	something	about	mary	,	me	,	myself	and	irene	and	a	couple	of	other	movies	in	which	the	humor	is	mostly	targeted	below	the	belt	.	not	that	there's	anything	wrong	with	scatology	.	i	bet	even	cavemen	appreciated	bathroom	humor	such	as	it	was	.	it's	merely	that	with	osmosis	jones	,	the	farrellys	humor	is	too	juvenile	,	too	predictable	.	you	can	almost	foresee	the	puns	just	by	viewing	the	part	of	the	inner	anatomy	a	sequence	is	drawn	.	osmosis	jones	looks	like	one	of	those	old	health	class	movies	gone	psycho	.	the	trouble	is	,	the	animation	may	please	the	very	young	,	but	the	jokes	may	be	over	their	heads	,	while	the	teen	age	audience	may	find	it	too	tame	for	their	tastes	.	adults	?	well	,	let's	just	say	most	will	find	it	unappetizing	.	osmosis	jones	plays	like	a	100	minute	infomercial	for	the	eat	healthy	foods	lobby	.	the	live	action	sequences	revolve	around	frank	(	bill	murray	)	,	who	seems	to	be	the	grungiest	human	being	in	the	universe	.	he	continually	looks	as	if	he	needs	a	shave	and	a	shower	.	frank	,	much	to	the	consternation	of	his	daughter	,	is	a	fast	food	addict	,	eating	anything	and	everything	that	can	kill	you	.	he	works	at	a	zoo	where	the	animals	look	cleaner	and	presumably	smell	better	than	he	does	.	frank's	body	is	invaded	by	thrax	,	a	lethal	virus	,	after	frank	eats	a	hard	boiled	egg	that	had	fallen	to	the	ground	.	it's	not	gross	enough	that	frank	picks	the	egg	up	from	the	dirt	and	plops	it	into	his	mouth	.	nope	,	the	farrellys	pile	it	on	by	first	having	frank	wrestle	a	chimp	for	the	egg	,	wresting	it	from	the	primate's	mouth	.	like	i	said	,	the	gross	meter	tips	the	scales	on	this	one	.	after	ingesting	the	egg	,	the	movie	begins	its	animated	sequences	.	here	,	osmosis	jones	(	voiced	by	chris	rock	)	,	a	renegade	white	blood	cell	is	teamed	with	drix	(	voiced	by	frasier's	david	hyde	pierce	)	,	a	12	hour	,	painkiller	cold	capsule	to	battle	thrax	(	smoothly	voiced	by	laurence	fishburne	)	.	basically	,	what	we	have	is	a	cliched	cop	buddy	movie	,	rife	with	all	the	clichs	of	that	genre	.	and	this	is	why	osmosis	jones	doesn't	click	.	it	merely	falls	back	on	tired	,	familiar	conventions	instead	of	creating	new	and	exciting	situations	.	the	jokes	and	puns	are	lame	:	osmosis	searches	out	a	snitch	,	a	former	flu	virus	.	after	pumping	him	for	information	,	drix	tells	osmosis	,	"	funny	,	he	doesn't	look	fluish	.	"	and	the	jokes	don't	rise	above	that	level	.	the	live	action	scenes	are	no	better	.	frank	is	such	a	slob	,	so	unappealing	that	it	is	difficult	to	fathom	how	he	ever	married	or	even	sired	a	child	.	he's	almost	a	bigger	cartoon	than	the	animated	characters	.	osmosis	jones	is	a	movie	that	may	be	too	violent	for	young	children	as	thrax	burns	and	dissolves	blood	cells	right	and	left	.	the	animation	is	rather	two	dimensional	and	flat	.	it	lacks	scope	and	depth	.	it	is	an	unappealing	movie	that	will	leave	you	scratching	your	head	,	and	maybe	leaning	toward	a	shower	after	you	walk	out	of	the	theater	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
neg	directed	by	:	mic	rodgers	written	by	:	william	malone	john	fasano	starring	:	jean	claude	van	damme	,	michael	jai	white	,	heidi	schanz	,	bill	goldberg	produced	by	:	craig	baumgarten	,	allen	shapiro	,	jean	claude	van	damme	ex	universal	soldier	luc	has	to	battle	a	group	of	newer	model	engineered	fighters	gone	bad	.	jean	claude	van	damme	has	a	one	liner	early	on	in	universal	soldier	:	the	return	,	his	latest	attempt	to	remain	relevant	,	that	sums	up	this	entire	movie	;	he	says	"	been	there	,	done	that	.	"	no	film	critic	could	possibly	sum	up	van	damme's	recent	film	choices	any	better	.	while	other	ageing	action	stars	have	wisely	moved	into	other	film	genres	(	schwarzenegger	makes	as	many	family	comedies	as	he	does	action	films	)	,	van	damme	stubbornly	persists	in	sticking	with	what	used	to	work	for	him	:	martial	arts	and	guns	.	this	unwillingness	or	perhaps	inability	to	move	into	new	genres	has	caused	van	damme	to	enter	the	straight	to	video	world	,	with	legionnaire	never	seeing	the	inside	of	a	multiplex	.	he	joins	fellow	martial	artist	action	star	steven	seagal	as	they	watch	their	film	careers	rapidly	fizzle	away	.	universal	soldier	:	the	return	is	truly	poor	.	the	plot	is	a	complete	copy	of	several	action	films	from	this	decade	,	specifically	terminator	2	:	judgement	day	and	the	similarly	named	soldier	.	soldier's	kurt	russell	was	an	older	model	super	soldier	sent	off	to	retirement	when	circumstances	forced	him	to	battle	his	successors	,	for	the	good	of	a	planet	;	schwarzenegger's	terminator	in	t2	tried	to	save	john	connor	from	a	newer	model	killing	machine	,	the	t	1000	;	and	jean	claude	,	a	former	universal	soldier	,	has	to	save	the	planet	from	the	rampage	of	a	group	of	,	you	guessed	it	,	newer	model	soldiers	.	considering	the	poor	box	office	performance	of	soldier	,	it's	amazing	that	this	project	was	ever	given	the	go	ahead	.	luc	devereaux	(	van	damme	)	was	the	sole	remaining	universal	soldier	(	or	unisol	for	short	)	,	until	he	was	returned	to	a	normal	,	if	muscular	,	human	form	.	in	this	sequel	(	technically	the	fourth	film	in	the	series	,	following	two	straight	to	video	duds	that	were	ignored	here	plot	wise	)	,	luc	is	now	a	human	trainer	consultant	of	sorts	for	the	unisol	program	.	working	with	dylan	cotner	(	xander	berkeley	,	who	interestingly	also	appeared	in	t2	)	,	the	unisol	program	has	engineered	a	tougher	,	fiercer	fighting	force	with	the	help	of	super	computer	seth	.	unfortunately	,	upon	hearing	that	the	program	has	been	axed	by	the	government	,	seth	takes	control	of	his	soldiers	,	killing	everyone	in	the	building	except	for	luc	,	his	partner	maggie	,	his	daughter	hillary	and	erin	,	a	reporter	trapped	inside	.	the	rest	of	the	film	involves	luc	trying	to	keep	them	all	alive	,	while	beating	up	a	group	of	near	indestructible	soldiers	,	most	notably	romeo	(	popular	wrestler	goldberg	)	.	there	are	lots	of	fights	,	gun	battles	,	lame	plot	developments	and	a	noticeable	lack	of	plausibility	.	there	are	so	many	clichs	in	this	film	that	it	is	almost	painful	to	watch	.	luc	gets	saddled	with	the	task	of	saving	erin	the	reporter	early	on	,	and	in	the	course	of	a	single	night	,	they	go	from	bickering	to	falling	for	each	other	,	to	kissing	.	erin	is	a	pathetically	written	character	;	people	are	getting	brutally	gunned	down	all	around	her	,	and	yet	,	not	only	does	this	not	seem	to	frighten	her	,	but	she	finds	time	to	remind	luc	that	she	"	isn't	leaving	without	her	story	"	.	whatever	.	other	laughable	moments	include	a	)	luc	going	to	a	strip	club	to	get	internet	access	(	what	?	)	and	b	)	a	group	of	rangers	,	who	after	having	been	given	good	advice	(	luc	tells	them	that	their	weapons	are	useless	,	and	shows	them	a	specific	gun	which	should	work	better	)	,	choose	to	go	into	battle	with	their	useless	weapons	anyway	(	guess	who	wins	the	battle	?	)	.	not	one	single	scene	in	universal	soldier	:	the	return	has	any	originality	to	it	.	when	fuelled	by	don	davis'	loud	,	driving	music	score	,	the	film's	many	fights	become	almost	passable	,	but	mostly	are	full	of	the	same	ol'	jean	claude	moves	.	director	mic	rodgers	(	a	former	stunt	co	ordinator	)	keeps	the	action	coming	at	a	rapid	pace	,	with	only	a	few	token	serious	moments	to	be	found	.	his	past	work	is	evident	in	the	many	moments	when	characters	are	thrown	through	windows	,	tossed	off	of	buildings	or	sent	flying	through	the	air	thanks	to	an	explosion	.	if	only	jean	claude	weren't	getting	so	old	and	slow	compared	to	younger	martial	arts	film	actors	like	jet	li	,	rodgers	could	probably	have	made	a	decent	action	film	.	to	place	the	blame	squarely	at	van	damme's	feet	,	however	,	is	an	injustice	.	i'm	not	sure	that	anyone	,	not	even	robert	deniro	or	edward	norton	,	could	make	writers	william	malone	and	john	fasano's	script	sound	good	.	one	particularly	painful	scene	is	when	erin	asks	luc	how	he	is	so	sure	that	the	aforementioned	strip	club	will	have	internet	access	.	he	cringes	,	looks	down	and	mutters	"	uh	.	.	.	uhm	.	.	.	they	all	do	,	i	saw	it	on	60	minutes	.	eh	he	he	he	"	the	script's	and	indeed	the	entire	film's	only	saving	grace	is	goldberg	.	he	chews	up	every	scene	he	is	in	,	obviously	enjoying	his	role	immensely	.	he	even	gives	the	film	a	few	laughs	,	as	he	mutters	things	like	"	i	really	don't	like	that	guy	"	every	time	he	fails	to	kill	luc	.	sadly	,	his	presence	is	not	enough	to	turn	universal	soldier	:	the	return	into	anything	better	than	a	below	average	action	film	that	truly	deserves	to	have	joined	its	fellow	sequels	by	going	straight	to	video	.	email	tim	chandler	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	timbit	canada	.	com	"	timbit	canada	.	com	a	and	check	out	my	other	reviews	at	the	bottom	line	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	heights	8000	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	heights	8000	index	.	html	a
neg	cast	:	john	saxon	,	ronee	blakley	,	heather	langenkamp	,	robert	englund	,	amanda	wyss	,	nick	corri	,	johnny	depp	,	charles	fleischer	,	lin	shaye	,	mimi	craven	written	and	directed	by	:	wes	craven	running	time	:	91	minutes	my	first	exposure	to	the	nightmare	on	elm	street	series	of	films	was	not	this	one	,	but	in	fact	the	third	installment	(	it	was	the	first	to	gain	a	national	theatrical	release	)	.	i	didn't	see	the	first	film	until	much	later	.	so	looking	back	,	the	original	didn't	hold	a	lot	of	great	memories	for	me	,	since	i	didn't	think	too	much	of	it	when	i	initially	saw	it	.	watching	it	now	for	a	second	time	confirmed	that	it's	an	overrated	horror	film	that	ultimately	makes	no	sense	whatsoever	.	you	all	know	the	story	by	now	:	child	murderer	freddy	krueger	(	robert	englund	)	returns	from	the	grave	by	haunting	the	dreams	of	the	children	of	those	who	burned	him	alive	years	before	.	this	first	installment	does	an	adequate	job	with	it's	low	budget	,	but	there's	some	absurd	dialogue	and	conceptual	problems	with	the	story	.	plus	the	movie's	ending	(	understandably	the	result	of	the	studio	wanting	the	end	of	the	film	to	have	a	"	hook	"	for	a	sequel	)	renders	the	rest	of	the	film	pointless	.	and	does	anyone	understand	what	happens	to	nancy's	mother	at	the	end	of	this	film	?	don't	get	me	wrong	though	.	.	.	it's	not	as	if	a	new	generation	of	horror	films	have	spurned	me	away	from	the	classics	.	most	horror	movies	released	today	are	just	as	inane	as	this	film	is	.	horror	is	a	difficult	genre	to	pull	off	credibly	,	and	a	nightmare	on	elm	street	just	doesn't	cut	it	.	a	nightmare	on	elm	street	is	available	on	dvd	from	new	line	home	video	.	it	is	available	both	as	a	single	disc	and	as	part	of	the	nightmare	on	elm	street	collection	box	set	.	the	film	is	presented	in	both	pan	and	scan	and	it's	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	78	:	1	(	although	on	the	disc	that	comes	in	the	box	set	,	only	a	widescreen	transfer	is	provided	)	.	the	film	has	been	digitally	remastered	and	includes	two	options	for	audio	:	a	mono	mix	and	a	new	dolby	digital	5	.	1	mix	.	also	included	on	the	dvd	is	a	full	length	audio	commentary	track	with	writer	director	wes	craven	,	stars	john	saxon	and	heather	langenkamp	,	and	the	film's	director	of	photography	.	other	extras	include	the	"	jump	to	a	nightmare	"	feature	(	i'm	sure	you	can	figure	that	one	out	)	,	the	usual	cast	and	crew	bios	(	which	are	from	the	film's	original	press	release	kit	,	and	notably	leave	out	robert	englund	and	johnny	depp	!	)	,	and	the	film's	original	theatrical	trailer	.	some	dvd	rom	features	are	also	included	,	but	since	i	don't	have	dvd	rom	capabilities	i	can't	really	get	into	that	.	the	commentary	track	is	entertaining	and	informative	,	but	nothing	spectacular	.	the	first	thing	of	note	is	that	it's	the	same	commentary	track	that	was	on	the	special	edition	laserdisc	from	a	few	years	ago	.	i'm	not	saying	that's	a	negative	thing	,	just	pointing	it	out	.	everyone	seems	enthusiastic	about	being	there	,	with	the	possible	exception	of	john	saxon	,	who	just	doesn't	say	much	at	all	.	most	of	the	time	you'll	forget	he's	even	there	.	everyone	else	talks	really	quietly	though	for	some	reason	,	as	if	because	they're	commenting	on	a	scary	movie	that	they	need	to	stay	as	quiet	as	possible	.	the	bonus	disc	with	the	boxed	set	called	the	nightmare	series	encyclopedia	features	about	45	minutes	worth	of	interviews	relating	to	the	first	film	of	the	series	.	also	included	is	the	original	theatrical	trailer	and	two	alternate	endings	to	the	film	.	.	.	however	you	can	only	access	one	easily	.	the	other	is	hidden	in	what's	called	"	the	labyrinth	"	,	which	might	possibly	be	the	most	annoying	feature	of	a	dvd	ever	created	.	basically	,	it's	an	interactive	game	of	sorts	where	you	wander	through	different	nightmare	locations	looking	at	objects	which	give	you	access	to	extra	little	snippets	of	footage	,	interviews	,	etc	.	somewhere	in	the	labyrinth	is	the	second	alternate	ending	to	the	film	.	finding	it	though	is	both	a	chore	and	a	bore	.	r	the	jacksonville	film	journal	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	"	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	a	1999	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.
neg	capsule	:	wretched	,	supposedly	fanciful	combination	of	animation	and	live	action	that	puts	a	fat	nail	in	ralph	bakshi's	career	coffin	.	cool	world	was	stalled	and	then	re	started	when	roger	rabbit	took	theaters	by	storm	.	based	on	what's	on	screen	,	it	should	have	remained	stalled	.	it's	a	haphazardly	assembled	movie	that	nobody	thought	very	much	about	,	except	in	how	it	would	look	.	and	even	there	they	didn't	do	much	thinking	.	brad	pitt	(	called	frank	harris	)	opens	the	movie	,	shortly	after	"	the	war	"	.	after	coming	home	,	he	rides	on	a	motorcycle	with	his	mother	,	gets	into	an	accident	,	and	somehow	manages	to	breach	a	path	into	a	parallel	dimension	called	,	none	too	surprisingly	,	cool	world	.	the	inhabitants	are	cartoons	,	called	doodles	although	based	on	the	mouth	dialog	mismatch	,	i	suspect	they	were	originally	called	toons	before	the	adr	people	decided	to	avoid	trouble	.	flash	forward	.	jack	deebs	(	gabriel	byrne	)	is	a	comic	book	creator	who's	about	to	get	out	of	prison	.	we	learn	though	various	incompetently	placed	bits	and	pieces	of	exposition	that	he	landed	there	when	he	murdered	the	guy	who	was	duking	his	wife	,	although	like	a	lot	of	things	in	this	movie	,	that	kind	of	behavior	is	not	shown	to	really	be	a	part	of	his	personality	.	it's	just	sort	of	dropped	in	.	but	deebs	has	bigger	problems	:	he	keep	sliding	back	and	forth	between	reality	and	the	world	of	his	comics	,	which	is	,	of	course	,	cool	world	.	and	then	one	day	he	lands	there	for	keeps	,	and	is	instantly	hit	upon	by	sexbomb	doodle	holli	would	(	"	realized	"	by	kim	basinger	,	who	has	gone	on	to	prove	that	she	is	,	in	fact	,	a	very	capable	actress	)	.	cool	world	tries	to	set	up	the	"	rules	"	about	its	universe	and	falls	flat	on	its	face	.	for	instance	,	doodles	and	humans	are	never	supposed	to	have	sex	,	for	reasons	that	are	never	made	clear	.	worse	,	the	consequences	of	such	intercourse	are	depicted	later	in	the	movie	,	but	they're	so	confusing	and	nonsensical	that	we	don't	even	care	.	the	movie's	look	is	frantic	and	inconsistent	.	bakshi's	animation	has	never	been	long	on	clarity	,	and	cool	world	looks	like	a	hashish	crazed	version	of	those	jack	davis	cartoons	in	mad	,	where	grotty	looking	maniacs	all	chase	each	other	around	the	room	.	the	art	direction	,	staging	,	'tweening	,	and	everything	else	are	pitched	so	hard	and	so	far	over	the	top	that	it's	impossible	to	focus	on	anything	.	there	is	less	imagination	at	work	here	than	anthologizing	.	everything	looks	bizarre	for	the	sake	of	being	bizarre	,	and	the	"	ironic	"	contrasts	(	the	little	fluffy	bunnies	,	etc	.	)	are	just	witless	.	the	live	action	backdrops	also	don't	look	credible	.	bakshi	,	in	an	interview	,	lovingly	described	how	the	sets	were	created	by	simply	projecting	cels	of	animation	onto	them	and	then	having	the	builders	paint	using	the	projections	as	guidelines	.	the	results	aren't	like	a	cartoon	come	to	life	;	they	look	like	a	very	bad	set	for	a	school	play	.	one	of	the	walls	vibrates	disturbingly	when	pitt	throws	byrne	against	it	.	the	story	shows	the	signs	of	a	script	,	and	a	movie	,	that	were	hacked	to	shreds	and	then	pieced	back	together	on	the	editing	table	.	an	interesting	way	to	find	out	about	tampering	is	to	read	the	comic	book	tie	ins	or	novelizations	of	movies	:	you	frequently	see	a	lot	of	material	that	existed	in	the	shooting	script	,	provided	to	the	artists	or	writers	of	the	tie	ins	,	but	never	made	it	to	the	screen	.	cool	world's	tie	ins	not	only	have	a	totally	different	ending	,	but	show	the	fingerprints	of	meddling	all	the	way	through	.	at	no	point	,	i	guess	,	did	anyone	take	a	look	at	his	story	and	decide	it	simply	wasn't	enough	that	there	needed	to	be	a	clear	line	of	logic	from	beginning	to	end	,	that	the	characters	had	to	be	motivated	by	other	things	than	passing	whims	,	and	that	we	get	more	out	of	the	movie	than	a	juicy	headache	.	ralph	bakshi	seems	to	have	been	an	artifact	of	a	very	particular	time	.	his	earlier	movies	,	like	heavy	traffic	and	street	fight	,	were	inconsistent	,	but	also	funny	and	nasty	in	hallucinatory	ways	.	then	he	tried	to	create	more	upscale	work	,	like	the	spastic	wizards	and	the	over	touted	lord	of	the	rings	productions	.	now	this	.	he	hasn't	done	anything	since	,	has	he	?	posted	via	deja	news	,	the	leader	in	internet	discussion	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	a	now	offering	spam	free	web	based	newsreading
neg	payback	(	1	2	out	of	four	)	starring	mel	gibson	,	maria	bello	,	kris	kristofferson	written	by	donald	e	.	westlake	,	adapted	from	the	novel	the	hunter	,	written	by	richard	stark	directed	by	brian	helgeland	it	seems	that	i've	stopped	enjoying	movies	that	should	be	fun	to	watch	.	take	payback	,	for	example	,	a	movie	that	most	people	seem	to	like	.	however	,	it's	horrible	schlock	,	straight	out	of	hollywood's	vast	talent	for	sucking	creativity	out	of	movies	.	it	was	written	and	directed	by	a	guy	who	should	have	done	better	;	however	,	maybe	he	did	do	better	,	after	all	,	30	percent	of	the	movie	isn't	his	own	.	mel	gibson	,	that	hollywood	zombie	,	decided	he	didn't	like	the	ending	and	had	another	director	reshoot	it	.	what	a	crock	.	if	you	sign	on	to	do	a	movie	,	then	do	it	the	way	the	script	calls	for	.	why	film	a	movie	and	then	look	at	it	later	and	say	,	no	,	i	changed	my	mind	,	i	don't	like	the	ending	.	you're	fired	.	let's	get	someone	else	to	do	it	.	i	suppose	honor	is	dead	in	hollywood	.	the	end	of	the	film	is	,	of	course	,	hollywoodized	.	which	is	to	say	that	it's	happy	and	the	guy	you	root	for	beats	impossible	odds	to	win	his	prize	.	in	this	case	,	as	is	most	victories	in	hollywood	movies	,	gibson's	prize	is	a	blond	and	money	.	i	miss	originality	in	film	,	i	really	do	.	i	think	audiences	are	so	starved	for	it	that	they'll	flop	down	a	lot	of	money	in	hopes	that	a	movie	will	be	original	.	payback's	tagline	get	ready	to	root	for	the	bad	guy	promised	an	original	idea	,	but	it	was	far	from	the	truth	.	while	gibson's	character	certainly	broke	the	law	,	he	was	a	character	that	had	honor	(	odd	that	gibson	himself	seems	to	have	very	little	of	it	)	,	wouldn't	kill	in	front	of	children	and	protects	his	blond	woman	.	there's	nothing	bad	about	him	he's	a	hollywood	character	,	a	person	who	could	never	exist	in	real	life	.	and	gibson	knows	it	he	spends	his	time	trying	to	act	like	a	"	bad	guy	"	,	and	instead	comes	off	as	pretentious	and	arrogant	.	the	story	involves	gibson	being	double	crossed	by	his	partner	(	who	is	a	real	bad	guy	,	which	made	me	wish	that	we	could	root	for	him	)	over	70	,	000	.	gibson	recovers	from	multiple	gunshots	,	is	pissed	(	naturally	)	,	and	will	do	whatever	it	takes	to	get	the	exact	amount	of	money	back	no	more	,	no	less	.	he	makes	a	point	of	it	that	it's	strictly	70	grand	.	a	real	bad	guy	would	have	made	his	ex	partner	pay	25	interest	.	this	idea	is	completely	stretched	out	.	gibson	ends	up	going	after	his	partner	and	the	chicago	mafia	that	his	partner	is	affiliated	with	.	what	i	didn't	understand	this	is	the	chicago	mafia	.	70	,	000	is	like	spare	change	to	them	.	they'd	probably	just	pay	the	guy	rather	than	go	through	the	trouble	of	dealing	with	him	.	i	think	they'd	respect	a	guy	going	through	this	much	trouble	for	a	simple	70	,	000	.	maybe	i'm	being	too	hard	on	the	movie	.	perhaps	the	filmmakers	were	just	trying	to	make	a	simple	popcorn	movie	.	i	read	roger	ebert's	review	and	he	liked	gibson	in	the	role	because	he	is	a	comic	at	heart	playing	a	bad	guy	.	that's	why	we're	allowed	to	root	for	him	.	and	it's	true	gibson	walks	the	movie	as	if	he's	smiling	at	a	joke	he	just	heard	.	but	he's	wrong	here	.	i	wanted	a	lee	marvin	or	old	time	clint	eastwood	or	somebody	who	wasn't	a	comic	,	just	an	ass	kicker	.	as	a	side	note	,	i've	just	checked	the	internet	movie	database	and	discovered	that	i	am	the	38th	person	to	post	a	newsgroup	review	of	payback	.	after	this	many	reviews	,	why	would	anyone	want	to	read	this	?	really	,	i	don't	care	.	i'm	just	trying	to	gain	membership	into	the	on	line	film	critics	society	by	posting	as	many	reviews	as	i	can	.
neg	see	this	review	as	it	was	intended	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a	cast	:	chris	klein	,	leelee	sobieski	,	josh	hartnett	,	michael	rooker	,	annie	corley	,	bruce	greenwood	,	annette	o'toole	,	elaine	hendrix	,	stuart	wilson	,	ronni	saxon	written	by	:	michael	seitzman	directed	by	:	mark	piznarski	running	time	:	96	minutes	spoiled	rich	kid	kelley	morse	(	chris	klein	)	receives	a	new	mercedes	for	a	graduation	present	.	he	and	his	buddies	take	it	for	a	joyride	to	a	small	nearby	town	,	where	he	proceeds	to	torment	the	locals	simply	because	he's	rich	and	they're	not	.	he	ends	up	provoking	jasper	(	josh	hartnett	)	into	a	race	and	as	a	result	,	the	local	gas	station	and	diner	are	destroyed	when	they	crash	into	it	.	kelley	is	sentenced	to	rebuild	the	diner	,	and	has	to	live	with	jasper	in	a	spare	room	over	his	family's	barn	.	jasper's	girlfriend	sam	(	leelee	sobieski	)	soon	takes	a	liking	to	kelley	however	,	despite	the	fact	that	1	)	it	was	her	family's	diner	that	was	destroyed	and	b	)	all	kelley	does	is	sit	around	,	sulk	,	and	smart	off	to	the	townspeople	.	but	when	she	sees	him	sweaty	and	shirtless	,	that's	apparently	all	she	needs	to	lose	her	feelings	for	jasper	(	whose	only	fault	seems	to	be	a	perpetual	case	of	hat	hair	)	.	so	sobieski	soon	falls	in	love	with	kelley	,	especially	after	the	day	she	follows	him	through	the	woods	and	hears	him	giving	his	graduation	speech	(	which	he	was	unable	to	deliver	because	he	caused	the	destruction	of	property	and	nearly	killed	dozens	of	people	)	.	in	the	speech	,	kelley	quotes	a	poem	by	robert	frost	,	which	just	so	happens	to	be	sam's	favorite	poem	as	well	.	awwwww	.	soon	they're	frolicking	around	in	the	fields	and	for	some	reason	waste	no	time	letting	people	in	town	(	especially	jasper's	best	friend	)	see	them	together	.	kelley	continues	to	make	an	ass	of	himself	in	town	,	especially	when	he	shows	up	at	the	town	dance	,	drunk	and	steaming	because	sam	went	with	jasper	.	kelley	runs	off	and	decides	to	leave	town	.	sam	catches	up	to	him	at	the	bus	station	and	he	asks	her	to	come	to	boston	with	him	.	jasper	shows	up	and	tearfully	confesses	to	sam	just	how	much	he	loves	her	,	and	sam	,	without	even	breaking	stride	basically	says	"	see	ya	!	"	and	takes	off	to	boston	with	kelley	.	here	on	earth	goes	in	so	many	wrong	directions	from	the	start	that	by	the	time	its	fairly	decent	ending	comes	around	,	its	completely	worthless	.	chris	klein	and	leelee	sobieski	are	two	of	my	current	favorite	young	performers	,	and	it's	because	of	their	presence	that	i	watched	this	film	in	the	first	place	.	however	,	not	long	into	the	proceedings	i	wanted	to	just	reach	into	the	film	and	strangle	them	both	.	i	shouldn't	have	such	feelings	towards	people	i	like	,	but	their	characters	are	so	infuriating	that	.	.	.	well	trust	me	,	you'll	feel	the	same	way	.	even	though	both	of	the	lead	male	characters	are	usually	in	the	wrong	,	kelley	is	hands	down	the	more	unlikable	of	the	two	,	simply	because	his	jerkish	actions	are	calculated	.	he	intends	to	be	a	jackass	each	and	every	time	he	does	it	.	jasper	on	the	other	hand	,	only	reacts	to	kelley's	provocations	,	and	afterwards	comes	across	as	being	truly	sorry	for	his	impulsive	actions	.	but	,	as	in	life	,	nice	guys	finish	last	.	for	the	entire	film	we	watch	sam	fall	in	love	with	the	guy	no	one	likes	while	the	film's	only	sympathetic	character	gets	completely	crushed	.	then	,	a	cancer	subplot	comes	into	play	(	where	things	get	even	more	infuriating	,	if	you	can	imagine	that	)	.	what	,	things	weren't	depressing	enough	for	you	mr	.	screenwriter	?	who	greenlit	this	project	?	who	"	on	earth	"	thought	this	would	entertain	anyone	?	perhaps	if	the	film	had	been	structured	where	kelley	perhaps	felt	some	remorse	after	he	caused	the	destruction	of	property	and	nearly	killed	dozens	of	people	.	but	even	after	he's	destroyed	these	people's	lives	he	continues	to	be	a	snob	to	them	,	and	ruins	one	more	for	good	measure	.	here	on	earth	is	available	on	dvd	from	fox	home	entertainment	.	it	contains	the	film	in	its	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	85	:	1	and	is	enhanced	for	16x9	televisions	.	extras	include	jessica	simpson's	music	video	for	"	where	you	are	"	,	a	commercial	for	the	film's	soundtrack	(	which	by	the	way	is	the	only	good	thing	about	the	film	)	,	the	original	theatrical	trailer	and	five	tv	spots	,	trailers	for	other	fox	releases	(	anna	and	the	king	,	anywhere	but	here	,	the	beach	,	drive	me	crazy	,	ever	after	,	romeo	juliet	,	simply	irresistible	)	,	as	well	as	that	new	fox	promo	touting	their	upcoming	dvd	releases	that	i	really	enjoy	.	the	picture	and	sound	quality	on	the	disc	are	fine	.	.	.	nothing	that	will	challenge	anyone's	audio	video	systems	of	course	.	fans	of	this	movie	(	if	any	exist	)	should	enjoy	the	dvd	release	.	here	on	earth	is	not	entertaining	nor	is	it	compelling	.	no	joy	or	entertainment	value	can	be	derived	from	any	of	the	events	of	the	film	.	it	is	merely	a	waste	of	time	,	money	and	talent	.
neg	there's	a	1	,	000	foot	tidal	wave	at	the	end	of	deep	impact	.	i'd	say	it	pretty	accurately	represents	the	towering	flood	of	the	last	two	years	worth	of	disaster	movies	,	which	are	getting	more	irwin	allen	esque	with	every	release	.	the	early	wave	of	this	revival	,	while	just	as	cheesy	and	laughable	,	at	least	knew	to	include	thrills	every	five	to	ten	minutes	.	deep	impact	tries	to	disguise	itself	as	a	human	drama	,	with	endless	filler	comprised	of	disaster	prevention	plans	the	country	keeps	taking	.	the	repeating	cycle	is	as	follows	the	president	(	morgan	freeman	)	will	go	on	tv	and	tell	the	country	that	there's	a	remote	chance	a	comet	will	strike	the	earth	,	but	that	the	nation's	crack	scientists	and	astronauts	have	some	brilliant	plan	to	stop	the	problem	.	then	we	get	to	see	the	plan	in	action	,	in	some	sequence	utterly	lacking	suspense	.	the	mission	will	barely	fail	,	and	freeman	will	tell	the	country	that	the	comet	is	still	headed	toward	earth	,	and	there's	a	remote	chance	it	will	strike	,	but	that	the	nation's	crack	scientists	and	astronauts	have	some	brilliant	plan	to	stop	the	problem	.	it	goes	on	and	on	throughout	the	movie	,	but	every	time	freeman	goes	on	tv	,	we	know	his	plan	is	going	to	fail	.	how	do	we	know	this	?	because	we've	seen	the	tv	ads	for	deep	impact	,	ads	that	feature	freeman	telling	the	nation	that	"	the	comet	is	still	headed	right	for	us	"	and	show	disaster	shots	of	the	comet	striking	earth	and	the	giant	tidal	wave	spreading	.	ladies	and	gentlemen	,	that	is	the	movie	.	successful	disaster	movies	have	the	main	disaster	toward	the	beginning	and	more	little	disasters	that	follow	,	but	deep	impact	saves	its	one	disaster	for	the	end	and	discloses	all	in	its	30	second	tv	spots	.	television	is	what's	wrong	with	deep	impact	.	the	main	character	,	played	by	tea	leoni	,	is	a	low	level	broadcast	journalist	for	msnbc	(	and	that's	the	mere	tip	of	the	product	placement	iceberg	)	who	stumbles	upon	a	huge	government	conspiracy	.	she	thinks	it's	an	instance	of	an	ex	secretary	of	something	or	other	(	james	cromwell	)	resigning	because	of	a	mistress	,	and	that	maybe	he	took	the	fall	for	the	president	in	the	same	area	.	when	she	goes	nosing	around	cromwell	,	he	begs	her	to	keep	it	under	wraps	.	"	i	know	you're	just	a	reporter	,	but	you	used	to	be	a	human	being	.	"	she	figures	out	what's	really	going	on	after	getting	roughed	up	by	some	fbi	men	and	doing	an	internet	search	,	where	all	good	journalists	learn	the	difference	between	a	mistress	and	an	extinction	level	comet	.	upon	a	top	secret	meeting	with	president	freeman	,	leoni	agrees	to	keep	the	story	under	wraps	until	the	president	can	hold	a	press	conference	,	at	which	she	gets	to	ask	the	first	question	.	and	everyone	knows	,	if	you	get	to	ask	the	first	question	,	baby	you're	a	star	.	leoni	ends	up	in	the	anchor	chair	,	broadcasting	every	step	of	the	comet's	collision	course	with	earth	.	and	i'm	sure	it's	comforting	for	her	to	know	that	,	even	though	the	world's	ending	in	a	matter	of	months	,	she's	a	cable	news	personality	.	so	there	she	is	,	narrating	the	six	astronaut	mission	to	blow	the	comet	up	.	such	personalities	as	robert	duvall	,	jon	favreau	and	blair	underwood	cash	their	paychecks	and	go	through	the	motions	of	this	dragged	out	process	.	but	as	anyone	who's	seen	the	commercials	knows	,	the	astronauts	fail	.	they	only	end	up	breaking	the	comet	into	two	pieces	,	which	means	even	more	destruction	to	the	earth	.	yeah	,	thanks	,	nasa	.	that's	when	freeman	has	to	come	on	tv	for	the	last	time	and	say	goodbye	to	all	the	people	who	aren't	picked	to	live	in	the	missouri	cave	site	for	two	years	.	they	even	have	animals	,	two	by	two	,	ready	to	climb	into	the	cave	.	if	the	focus	had	been	on	people	living	inside	these	caves	after	the	world	had	been	destroyed	,	deep	impact	could	have	been	a	far	more	interesting	movie	.	instead	we	watch	as	a	lovestruck	elijah	wood	defies	all	odds	to	chase	down	his	young	wife	,	while	people	pack	the	highways	out	of	town	.	the	reasoning	is	,	of	course	,	that	if	a	comet	is	going	to	strike	,	they	might	as	well	be	out	in	some	scenic	rural	location	.	and	,	amusingly	,	the	highway	is	spotted	with	people	in	u	haul	trucks	.	i'm	sure	it's	comforting	to	know	that	,	even	though	the	world's	ending	in	a	matter	of	minutes	,	the	u	haul	people	are	doing	the	most	business	of	their	lives	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
neg	the	pagemaster	is	the	oddest	film	aimed	at	children	i've	ever	seen	.	it	makes	a	number	of	gigantic	errors	in	judgment	not	the	least	of	which	is	that	it	has	the	unsubtle	subtext	of	reading	as	being	a	chore	to	be	risen	to	.	it's	a	depressing	and	blatantly	manipulative	movie	at	its	heart	,	although	it	obviously	wants	to	be	anything	but	.	the	movie	opens	interestingly	enough	.	macaulay	culkin	is	featured	as	a	kid	who	is	paralyzed	by	fear	of	well	,	everything	,	from	the	look	of	it	.	he's	memorized	reams	of	accident	statistics	and	keeps	emergency	provisions	of	all	kinds	in	his	room	(	which	gives	rise	to	one	of	the	movie's	few	genuine	laughs	)	.	one	day	he	blunders	into	a	mysterious	library	,	and	after	some	mishaps	,	manages	to	get	himself	projected	into	various	animated	versions	of	several	classic	books	.	this	is	where	the	first	of	the	errors	in	judgment	come	in	:	instead	of	trying	to	woo	the	audience	with	the	subtexts	or	emotional	content	of	those	books	(	"	moby	dick	"	and	"	dr	.	jekyll	and	mr	.	hyde	"	among	them	)	,	they	get	turned	into	cheap	arcade	game	attacks	on	the	senses	.	the	movie	is	not	interested	in	reading	,	or	the	stories	,	per	se	or	even	in	the	kid's	plight	,	really	.	it's	just	an	excuse	to	throw	us	into	one	animated	headrush	after	another	and	,	presumably	,	to	unload	pagemaster	toys	of	one	variety	or	another	.	even	the	animation	doesn't	hold	up	.	shows	like	"	south	park	"	and	"	beavis	and	butthead	"	(	and	their	attendant	spinoffs	)	don't	have	disney	level	animation	,	but	they	use	smart	writing	and	clever	direction	to	more	than	make	up	for	it	.	they	are	no	more	than	they	need	to	be	.	the	pagemaster	badly	wants	to	be	an	eyeful	of	the	disney	variety	,	but	looks	dim	and	unclear	,	done	in	haste	.	how	do	movies	like	this	get	made	?	the	whole	thing	probably	sounded	like	such	a	nice	idea	that	nobody	paid	much	attention	to	the	way	it	was	being	embodied	.	didn't	anyone	stop	and	wonder	,	what	an	unrepentant	piece	of	cynicism	this	is	,	trying	to	sell	kids	on	books	and	reading	through	the	same	strategies	as	mindless	action	movies	and	electronic	games	?	i	have	nothing	against	video	games	just	that	books	and	video	games	are	apples	and	oranges	,	and	this	movie	should	have	known	better	than	to	blatantly	confuse	the	two	.	i	also	resented	the	way	the	kid's	emotional	problems	are	used	for	a	cheap	payoff	.	at	the	end	of	the	movie	,	he's	basically	learned	to	suck	in	his	gut	and	take	it	all	like	a	man	.	allegedly	,	the	movie	is	propaganda	in	favor	of	kids	picking	up	books	,	but	after	something	like	the	pagemaster	,	they're	more	likely	to	feel	insulted	than	inspired	.	the	best	way	to	get	kids	interested	in	books	is	to	read	to	them	,	and	let	them	pick	up	the	habit	naturally	,	instead	of	subjecting	them	to	cynical	concoctions	like	this	.
neg	i	have	little	against	remakes	and	updates	of	older	films	and	tv	series	.	if	there's	a	will	,	there's	a	way	;	and	i	believe	that	anything	,	no	matter	how	great	or	revered	can	be	effectively	improved	upon	.	this	is	the	reason	that	i	responded	so	well	to	gus	van	sant's	universally	panned	update	of	psycho	;	i	thought	it	to	be	not	only	an	intriguing	cinematic	experience	,	but	also	very	on	par	with	an	original	.	but	i	do	have	a	big	problem	with	remakes	that	are	blatantly	bad	.	you	see	,	the	point	of	a	remake	is	,	or	at	least	it	should	be	,	to	iron	out	the	original's	flaws	and	bring	the	work	that	much	closer	to	greatness	or	even	perfection	.	but	what	if	the	source	material	on	which	the	remake	is	based	isn't	any	good	to	begin	with	?	that	is	the	only	cinematic	question	pondered	by	the	bland	actioner	the	mod	squad	.	i've	only	seen	a	couple	episodes	of	the	late	60s	tv	series	on	which	it	is	based	,	and	to	be	honest	,	i	didn't	like	it	all	that	much	.	it	has	a	concept	that	and	still	is	interesting	;	a	group	of	corrupt	young	adults	,	all	in	their	early	20s	are	given	a	choice	:	they	either	go	to	jail	for	the	various	crimes	that	they	all	have	committed	,	or	they	can	become	undercover	cops	,	helping	the	police	get	into	places	that	they	normally	wouldn't	be	able	to	access	.	obviously	,	all	3	opt	for	the	latter	option	and	become	undercover	policemen	(	and	policewomen	)	.	the	three	main	characters	here	are	played	by	claire	danes	,	omar	epps	and	giovanni	ribisi	.	of	the	three	,	only	danes	has	a	real	character	.	ribisi's	dumbass	20	year	old	is	played	exclusively	for	laughs	;	epps'	slightly	more	intelligent	one	is	used	to	create	various	chase	scenes	.	when	the	squad's	superviser	gets	killed	off	and	his	reputation	dirtied	in	death	,	the	three	of	them	,	sure	that	their	beloved	master	was	framed	,	go	off	and	investigate	on	their	own	,	discovering	corrupt	cops	,	lots	and	lots	of	expensive	whores	and	very	lucrative	drug	operations	.	all	kinds	of	good	stuff	!	the	only	times	that	the	mod	squad	comes	even	close	to	working	is	in	its	comedic	moments	.	although	ribisi	is	a	trite	actor	and	his	characters	repeat	movie	after	movie	,	his	man	here	is	really	rather	amusing	,	when	the	script	gives	him	a	chance	.	epps'	straight	man	is	effectively	played	against	ribisi's	clueless	spontaneity	.	but	the	rest	of	the	film	is	dull	,	boring	and	singularly	uninteresting	.	a	drug	op	action	plot	is	no	longer	anything	new	,	not	even	with	teenage	action	heroes	,	and	the	way	it's	executed	here	,	it's	also	nowhere	near	exciting	or	suspenseful	.	claire	danes'	character	has	potential	,	but	it	is	buried	under	heaps	of	cliches	and	her	performance	is	too	restrained	.	she	could	have	been	a	tour	de	force	,	but	instead	director	scott	silver	puts	shackles	on	her	and	simply	does	not	allow	her	to	do	anything	really	significant	with	her	role	.	epps	and	ribisi	fare	slightly	better	and	do	as	well	as	can	be	expected	,	although	their	characters	aren't	nearly	as	rich	as	danes'	could	have	been	.	the	mod	squad	is	a	mind	numbing	marketing	plot	of	a	film	,	and	teens	will	jump	all	over	it	.	it's	full	of	bad	dialogue	,	scenes	and	concepts	that	make	no	sense	and	get	this	drug	dealers	that	like	to	tango	with	other	guys	in	their	spare	time	.	nothing	is	remotely	intriguing	or	worth	paying	for	.	claire	danes	is	no	longer	alluring	mainly	because	she's	got	a	horrible	hairdo	,	so	that	draw	is	out	.	there	are	,	however	,	cool	explosions	,	guns	and	chases	which	may	lure	a	viewer	into	thinking	that	he	or	she	is	about	to	experience	an	exciting	thriller	of	some	sort	.	do	not	be	fooled	.	some	may	call	this	escapist	fare	i	call	it	escape	as	quickly	as	you	can	fare	.
neg	perhaps	if	the	impostors	didn't	have	so	much	going	for	it	,	it	wouldn't	have	been	such	a	tremendous	disappointment	.	written	,	directed	,	and	produced	by	one	of	its	two	stars	,	stanley	tucci	,	whose	last	picture	was	the	indie	smash	hit	,	big	night	,	the	impostors	almost	never	catches	fire	.	sputtering	like	a	two	day	old	campfire	,	the	story	plays	like	an	ad	lib	sketch	that	was	never	polished	or	completed	.	the	film's	other	star	,	oliver	platt	,	was	hilarious	as	the	senator's	aide	in	bulworth	.	the	bloated	supporting	cast	is	a	veritable	cornucopia	of	acting	talent	,	including	woody	allen	,	steve	buscemi	,	hope	davis	,	alfred	molina	,	campbell	scott	,	lili	taylor	and	tony	shalhoub	.	all	are	wasted	save	allen	,	who	plays	a	theatrical	director	who	stares	in	disbelief	at	the	bad	acting	before	his	eyes	.	(	the	audience	will	easily	identify	with	allen's	sentiments	.	)	with	the	exception	of	a	single	original	joke	involving	mirror	imaged	subtitles	,	the	movie	engenders	little	genuine	laughter	.	the	stale	humor	is	so	embarrassingly	bad	that	you	will	find	yourself	laughing	sporadically	at	the	picture	rather	than	with	it	.	the	plot	for	the	movie	involves	two	starving	actors	,	maurice	(	oliver	platt	)	and	arthur	(	stanley	tucci	)	,	who	accidentally	end	up	on	a	cruise	ship	.	in	order	to	escape	an	angry	shakespearean	actor	(	alfred	molina	)	,	who	is	chasing	them	,	they	dress	up	as	ship's	stewards	.	the	over	the	top	script	has	the	subtlety	of	a	sledgehammer	.	when	the	leads	hide	from	their	pursuers	,	arthur	covers	maurice's	mouth	as	he	suffers	an	unending	sneeze	.	at	other	times	,	we	have	the	typical	zany	comedy	routine	where	everyone	chases	everyone	else	,	while	darting	in	and	out	of	staterooms	.	with	the	film's	chapters	introduced	like	placards	at	a	vaudeville	stage	,	it	is	clear	the	movie	wants	to	be	taken	as	farce	.	the	press	notes	describes	how	everyone	that	came	on	the	set	remarked	at	what	a	good	time	all	of	the	actors	were	having	.	too	bad	they	weren't	more	concerned	with	the	audience's	potential	enjoyment	.	the	jokes	,	frequently	framed	in	silence	,	fall	like	stones	with	such	intensity	that	one	can	almost	hear	them	hitting	the	ground	.	one	wonders	if	anyone	ever	viewed	the	film's	dailies	.	surely	,	if	they	had	,	they	would	have	realized	what	leaden	results	they	were	producing	.	it	is	tricky	having	good	actors	play	bad	ones	,	but	,	if	they	couldn't	pull	it	off	,	they	should	have	just	given	up	.	"	the	show	is	over	for	this	fella	,	"	steve	buscemi's	character	says	towards	the	end	.	the	mystery	is	why	they	didn't	all	give	up	in	the	beginning	.	there	must	have	been	a	better	script	somewhere	for	such	a	wonderful	cast	.	the	impostors	runs	1	:	42	.	it	is	rated	r	for	a	little	profanity	and	would	be	fine	for	kids	around	12	and	up	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	rating	:	(	out	of	)	mgm	1	:	33	1999	r	(	language	,	violence	,	fleeting	nudity	,	drug	use	)	cast	:	claire	danes	;	giovanni	ribisi	;	omar	epps	;	josh	brolin	;	dennis	farina	;	richard	jenkins	;	steve	harris	;	michael	lerner	director	:	scott	silver	screenplay	:	stephen	t	.	kay	;	scott	silver	;	kate	lanier	hr	there	have	been	merchant	ivory	costume	dramas	with	more	of	a	pulse	than	"	the	mod	squad	,	"	a	self	consciously	"	hip	"	cinematic	rendering	of	the	old	tv	series	still	looked	upon	fondly	by	so	many	baby	boomers	.	well	,	said	"	squad	"	certainly	won't	be	a	pleasant	viewing	experience	for	them	or	anybody	else	,	maybe	even	the	teen	target	audience	the	movie	has	been	geared	towards	.	a	contemporary	take	on	this	decidedly	'70s	show	doesn't	exactly	seem	unwarranted	,	but	one	wonders	if	the	mold	it	accumulated	while	waiting	on	the	shelf	didn't	transform	into	a	full	blown	case	of	botulism	.	how	curious	that	the	film	begins	by	defining	both	mod	and	squad	,	insisting	that	the	latter	is	a	group	of	people	working	together	and	then	contradicting	this	definition	by	keeping	its	titular	trio	apart	for	a	sizeable	chunk	of	the	running	time	.	they	are	julie	,	pete	and	linc	,	reformed	delinquents	working	undercover	for	the	lapd	(	exposition	put	out	of	the	way	so	fast	that	you're	likely	to	be	lost	from	the	opening	moments	on	)	,	and	they	are	respectively	played	by	claire	danes	,	giovanni	ribisi	and	omar	epps	,	talented	actors	each	deserving	of	better	than	this	.	their	plight	involves	standard	cop	corruption	stuff	,	as	our	would	be	protagonists	catch	wind	of	an	internal	cover	up	after	their	superior	(	reliable	dennis	farina	,	one	of	the	best	things	here	and	gone	so	quickly	)	gets	killed	and	framed	for	drug	trafficking	.	they	pout	a	lot	and	eventually	get	cracking	to	expose	this	convoluted	conspiracy	using	surveillance	tactics	that	would	impress	the	hardy	boys	and	linda	tripp	but	few	others	.	when	you're	supposed	to	be	asking	,	"	what's	going	to	happen	next	?	"	,	you'll	instead	entertain	thoughts	like	"	who	are	these	people	and	why	should	i	care	?	"	or	"	aren't	thrillers	supposed	to	contain	thrills	?	"	not	that	danes	,	epps	and	ribisi	don't	give	it	a	shot	.	danes	can	do	the	troubled	teen	thing	in	her	sleep	,	as	evidenced	by	"	my	so	called	life	,	"	but	she's	saddled	with	a	mysterious	boyfriend	(	josh	brolin	)	subplot	so	see	through	you	begin	to	seriously	question	her	so	called	intelligence	.	ditto	for	ribisi's	(	"	saving	private	ryan	"	)	looney	loose	cannon	,	though	at	least	he	performs	with	a	wild	and	crazy	vigor	that	occasionally	demands	attention	.	but	epps	poor	epps	.	epps	(	"	higher	learning	"	)	is	so	short	changed	he's	reduced	to	literally	waiting	around	for	a	bad	guy	to	chase	him	.	all	this	sloppiness	can	be	attributed	to	the	screenwriters	,	one	of	whom	,	scott	silver	,	is	also	the	director	.	they	must	think	that	if	they	dress	up	their	stupid	story	in	such	spiffy	trappings	(	the	look	of	the	film	is	really	quite	impressive	)	,	it'll	somehow	pay	off	,	but	this	"	mod	squad	"	plods	anyway	.	characters	are	non	existent	;	present	are	just	some	good	looking	young	things	modeling	cool	levis	and	cooler	attitudes	.	plot	hardly	escapes	confusing	convention	.	and	the	one	genre	element	you'd	think	would	be	show	up	in	generous	portions	a	few	nifty	explosions	,	some	fights	,	any	kind	of	action	whatsoever	only	rarely	makes	it	to	this	dull	gabfest	.	all	those	quick	to	put	down	last	month's	inept	but	serviceable	"	my	favorite	martian	"	update	need	to	take	a	step	back	.	here's	a	small	to	big	screen	translation	that	really	should've	stayed	in	its	former	incarnation	,	"	mod	"	or	not	.	hr	1999	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	it	presents	as	comedy	things	that	are	not	amusing	.	if	you	think	this	movie	is	funny	,	that	tells	me	things	about	you	i	don't	want	to	know	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	very	bad	things	"
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trivia	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	writer	director	todd	solondz'	third	full	length	feature	made	plenty	of	"	best	of	1998	"	lists	,	but	made	only	one	list	of	mine	this	year	,	and	that's	the	one	at	the	unfortunate	end	of	the	cinematic	totem	pole	.	his	second	film	was	the	critically	acclaimed	sundance	sensation	welcome	to	the	dollhouse	,	but	i	believe	that	it	is	the	title	to	his	first	movie	,	that	essentially	describes	this	year's	film	,	fear	,	anxiety	and	depression	.	plot	:	vignettes	of	several	dysfunctional	people	all	linked	together	through	the	lives	of	three	diametric	sisters	.	one	sister	is	a	very	successful	novelist	.	the	other	is	a	housewife	,	whose	husband	hides	an	extremely	dark	secret	about	himself	,	and	the	third	is	a	30	something	loser	,	who	still	has	no	clue	as	to	what	she	wants	to	do	with	her	life	.	their	parents	are	also	part	of	the	package	,	as	the	film	serpentines	its	way	through	the	troubles	,	perversions	and	sexual	dichotomy	of	many	of	its	happily	challenged	subjects	.	critique	:	this	is	a	bad	movie	.	crap	served	surreptitiously	on	an	independent	tray	of	arty	pretension	and	highbrow	entertainment	.	some	of	its	problems	:	it's	too	long	and	runs	at	a	snails	pace	.	it's	uninteresting	and	unentertaining	.	it's	not	funny	and	contains	very	little	human	drama	.	but	even	worse	than	that	,	it	pretends	to	be	something	terribly	insightful	and	revealing	,	when	really	it's	just	boring	and	obviously	shocking	.	it's	pretentious	and	might	actually	by	enjoyed	by	those	who	like	figuring	out	the	"	true	meaning	"	of	a	film	or	its	characters'	intentions	,	but	for	all	the	rest	of	us	,	who	like	to	go	to	a	movie	theatre	,	order	some	nachos	,	and	enjoy	ourselves	,	this	one	is	a	lost	cause	.	i'm	trying	to	think	of	one	redeemable	quality	in	this	film	,	but	i	just	can't	figure	one	out	.	there's	a	regular	husband	guy	(	"	mr	.	rogers	on	acid	"	as	per	the	arrow's	comments	)	who	lives	a	double	as	a	pedophile	.	hmmmm	.	.	.	.	yes	,	yes	,	how	utterly	insightful	and	shocking	.	yawn	ironic	as	it	all	may	be	,	i	didn't	care	for	the	characters	,	their	lives	,	or	this	film	.	so	is	this	film	a	satire	or	a	true	reflection	of	the	lives	of	many	of	our	contemporaries	living	amongst	us	today	?	the	truth	is	that	i	just	don't	know	.	the	film	was	very	uneven	in	that	sense	,	and	had	plenty	of	scenes	featuring	real	life	dramatic	situations	,	while	others	,	clearly	indicated	its	"	tongue	and	cheekness	"	.	the	point	is	that	i	couldn't	figure	it	out	,	cared	even	less	,	and	i	just	didn't	appreciate	any	of	the	tragic	characters	or	anything	that	the	film	had	to	say	.	am	i	too	much	of	a	simpleton	,	and	am	i	missing	the	"	bigger	picture	"	of	what	mr	.	solondz	is	attempting	to	tell	us	in	his	oh	so	subtle	and	annoying	depression	fest	?	perhaps	.	the	bottom	line	is	that	as	a	great	movie	lover	,	i	generally	tend	to	find	something	nice	to	say	about	most	films	.	in	that	sense	,	this	movie	did	offer	some	true	and	realistic	performances	by	its	cast	,	especially	dylan	baker	,	who	was	excellent	as	the	husband	with	the	secret	,	and	jane	adams	as	the	pathetic	loser	sister	.	but	other	than	that	,	please	don't	see	this	movie	unless	you	also	enjoyed	other	self	indulgent	indie	pieces	such	as	the	doom	generation	(	3	10	)	and	friends	and	neighbors	(	5	.	5	10	)	.	and	another	thing	,	a	few	scenes	of	masturbation	in	a	film	,	mixed	with	plenty	of	shots	of	cum	flying	around	do	not	an	insightful	,	real	and	good	indie	movie	make	.	we	must	always	remember	that	a	film	must	be	interesting	or	insightful	,	or	at	the	very	least	,	entertaining	.	this	movie	struck	out	on	all	three	counts	.	where	are	the	tarantinos	and	kevin	smiths	when	you	need	'em	?	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	director	todd	solondz	had	a	small	cameo	in	as	good	as	it	gets	(	7	.	5	10	)	as	a	passenger	on	a	bus	.	solondz	was	born	in	newark	,	nj	,	and	grew	up	in	the	suburbs	.	at	new	york	university	film	school	,	he	made	three	award	winning	short	films	.	this	film	was	dumped	by	universal's	october	films	,	and	picked	up	by	the	production	company	good	machine	.	camryn	manheim	(	the	overweight	woman	in	this	film	)	received	a	master's	degree	in	drama	in	1987	from	new	york	university	.	the	mother	in	this	film	,	actress	louise	lasser	,	was	married	to	writer	director	woody	allen	from	1966	69	,	and	starred	in	four	of	his	films	,	including	the	amazing	bananas	(	8	10	)	.	actor	philip	seymour	hoffman	has	been	in	20	films	since	1991	.	he	graduated	from	nyu's	tisch	school	of	the	arts	.	you	might	remember	actress	cynthia	stevenson	as	the	relentless	character	of	doris	,	norm's	secretary	,	on	the	popular	tv	sitcom	"	cheers	"	.	two	members	from	tv's	"	saturday	night	live	"	cast	list	make	cameos	in	this	picture	.	jon	lovitz	from	snl	past	,	and	molly	shannon	from	snl	present	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	james	brundage	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c97ebb11df0b98398825694f005571d7	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c97ebb11df0b98398825694f005571d7	?	opendocument	a	he	is	duncan	macleod	of	the	clan	macleod	.	he's	been	pimpin'	it	since	he	was	born	in	the	village	of	glennfillan	in	15somethingsomething	,	and	he	continues	to	pimp	it	in	modern	day	.	he	is	immortal	and	he	cannot	die	.
neg	a	follow	up	to	disney's	live	action	"	101	dalmatians	"	that's	better	,	more	entertaining	than	the	first	?	just	as	unlikely	.	with	"	102	dalmatians	,	"	the	disney	studios	have	proven	that	when	it	comes	to	going	to	the	dogs	,	more	is	definitely	not	the	merrier	.	1996's	"	101	dalmatians	"	certainly	wasn't	the	greatest	movie	going	experience	of	all	time	,	but	it	did	feature	glenn	close	in	an	outrageous	,	larger	than	life	performance	.	in	addition	,	we	had	two	amiable	leads	in	the	form	of	jeff	daniels	and	joely	richardson	,	and	lots	and	lots	of	adorable	spotted	puppies	.	this	time	around	there	seem	to	be	fewer	puppies	on	the	screen	,	and	close's	facial	and	physical	gyrations	are	starting	to	feel	as	old	as	the	53	year	old	actress	under	that	startling	black	and	white	wig	of	hers	.	but	that's	only	half	the	problem	with	kevin	lima's	laborious	film	.	what	makes	"	102	dalmatians	"	such	a	collosal	bore	is	its	embarrassing	attempts	at	humor	(	here	almost	single	handedly	foisted	on	a	wisecracking	macaw	who	thinks	he's	a	dog	,	voiced	by	eric	idle	)	,	its	rabid	plotlessness	(	cruella	goes	after	puppies	again	;	winds	up	in	goo	again	)	and	most	of	all	,	the	incredibly	wooden	actors	who	plays	the	romantic	"	heroes	"	of	the	piece	,	a	welshman	named	ioan	gruffudd	and	the	blander	than	bland	alice	evans	as	a	parole	officer	named	chlo	.	gruffudd	is	cute	and	harmless	,	perhaps	,	but	evans	can't	even	aspire	to	that	.	the	dogs	upstage	them	both	,	of	course	,	but	in	the	case	of	evans	,	even	close's	split	ends	are	more	animated	.	bad	acting	,	however	,	seems	to	be	a	requirement	for	this	sequel	,	since	grard	depardieu	shows	up	as	a	french	furrier	with	a	haircut	like	robert	de	niro's	in	"	men	of	honor	.	"	jean	pierre	le	pelt	is	a	flamboyant	fashion	designer	with	a	penchant	for	fine	furs	and	depardieu's	over	the	top	antics	mimic	those	of	the	campy	close	flail	for	flail	,	and	wail	for	wail	.	france's	most	popular	export	besides	brie	has	long	since	turned	into	a	caricature	of	himself	,	and	in	"	102	dalmatians	"	the	producers	milk	that	realization	for	all	it's	worth	le	pelt	likes	to	refer	to	the	furry	little	critters	as	"	poopies	,	"	par	example	(	and	ad	nauseum	)	.	the	finesses	of	the	script	(	attributed	to	four	screenwriters	no	less	,	and	far	removed	from	anything	dodie	smith	ever	dreamed	up	)	are	quickly	dispensed	with	,	since	all	it	takes	for	a	paroled	cruella	to	be	shaken	from	her	years	of	successful	aversion	therapy	in	the	slammer	is	the	tolling	of	big	ben	(	?	)	.	that	done	,	it's	back	to	the	mansion	to	roll	around	in	her	heretofore	off	limits	sables	and	minks	and	a	plan	to	skin	those	little	dahlings	for	the	sake	of	a	hooded	designer	gown	.	the	dogs	are	pretty	cute	try	making	a	puppy	look	otherwise	but	that's	pretty	much	all	they	are	.	there's	always	the	feeling	that	there's	a	trainer	off	in	the	wings	,	coaxing	the	dogs	to	open	doors	,	or	pick	up	their	food	bowls	in	unison	,	or	pop	a	tape	into	the	videocasette	recorder	.	savvy	holiday	goers	should	skip	"	102	dalmatians	"	and	pop	the	original	1961	animated	classic	into	their	vcrs	instead	.	it's	one	dalmatian	less	,	but	101	more	satisfying	.
neg	sometimes	listed	as	nosferatu	the	vampiresynopsis	:	very	classy	and	stylish	version	of	the	dracula	story	.	a	remake	of	the	classic	1927	film	by	f	.	w	.	murnau	,	nosferatu	.	of	interest	to	fans	of	vampire	movies	.	germany	(	german	with	english	subtitles	)	,	color	,	1979	.	director	:	werner	herzog	principal	cast	:	klaus	kinski	,	isabelle	adjani	,	bruno	ganz	there	is	no	need	to	detail	the	plot	of	this	film	,	other	than	to	say	that	it	is	a	very	well	made	version	of	the	classic	novel	,	dracula	,	by	bram	stoker	.	klaus	kinski	stars	as	the	evil	ghoul	,	count	dracula	.	kinski's	dracula	has	a	shaved	head	,	and	he	wears	white	make	up	for	a	distinct	"	ghoulish	"	appearance	.	according	to	the	information	available	to	me	,	the	film	follows	the	original	novel	storyline	very	closely	.	as	such	,	it	may	interest	individuals	who	liked	the	book	,	but	not	the	numerous	film	versions	that	modify	the	story	(	"	rewrite	"	might	be	a	more	accurate	description	for	many	of	the	dracula	films	)	.	the	film	has	a	"	gothic	feel	,	"	and	is	very	well	done	.	there	is	very	careful	attention	to	detail	,	and	the	film	was	shot	on	location	in	eastern	europe	.	one	attraction	of	the	film	is	its	music	,	done	by	the	german	group	popol	vuh	(	florian	fricke	,	daniel	fichelser	)	.	their	music	falls	into	the	category	that	is	now	called	"	new	age	,	"	although	popol	vuh	began	in	1971	as	part	of	the	early	german	electronic	music	scene	.	the	acting	is	excellent	,	although	it	may	be	a	bit	understated	.	kinski's	dracula	comes	across	as	a	very	strange	recluse	,	rather	than	the	flamboyant	,	arrogant	persona	evident	in	other	dracula	films	.	this	makes	the	story	more	"	believable	.	"	this	film	is	a	staple	at	many	repertory	theatres	.	some	theaters	screen	it	several	times	a	year	,	usually	pairing	it	with	more	recent	vampire	films	.	when	i	last	checked	(	fall	1988	)	,	it	was	not	available	on	video	,	although	the	1927	silent	version	is	available	on	video	.	overall	evaluation	:	very	good	.	recommended	if	you	want	to	see	a	"	quality	"	dracula	film	.	reviewer	:	thomas	e	.	billings	,	department	of	statistics	university	of	california	,	berkeley	reviewer	contact	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	teb	stat	.	berkeley	.	edu	"	teb	stat	.	berkeley	.	edu	a
neg	armageddon	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	film	,	dvd	,	ld	reviews	!	a	section	where	you	can	recommend	movies	!	fabric	softener	!	all	in	one	!	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	a	new	address	.	new	attitude	.	same	purple	prose	.	)	starring	bruce	willis	,	billy	bob	thornton	,	liv	tyler	,	ben	affleck	written	by	jonathan	hensleigh	and	j	.	j	.	abrams	directed	by	michael	bay	it	rocks	actually	,	lots	of	rocks	fly	at	us	or	from	us	,	in	slow	or	fast	motion	,	at	several	points	in	the	film	.	they	seem	like	dangerous	rocks	because	they	kind	of	twirl	through	the	air	instead	of	just	propelling	forward	,	and	when	they	land	once	in	a	while	,	when	we	need	a	break	from	the	space	sequences	they	cause	damage	enough	to	destroy	the	chrysler	building	and	the	like	.	(	nary	a	mention	of	these	apocalyptic	events	is	made	after	they	occur	.	)	they	also	just	might	be	the	most	interesting	element	of	armageddon	,	a	steroid	user's	answer	to	deep	impact	.	bruce	willis	stars	as	harry	stamper	,	a	famed	oil	driller	commissioned	by	the	white	house	and	nasa	to	stop	a	giant	asteroid	before	it	travels	beyond	"	zero	barrier	"	and	destroys	our	planet	.	why	an	oil	driller	?	they	require	someone	experience	with	deep	core	mining	to	plant	a	nuclear	missile	into	said	asteroid	.	(	in	one	unintentionally	(	?	)	hilarious	sequence	,	nasa	asks	harry	to	inspect	a	deep	core	driller	they	built	based	on	his	blueprints	;	it	is	poorly	constructed	harry	criticizes	almost	every	aspect	of	it	.	we	trust	nasa	to	build	space	shuttles	?	)	harry	assembles	the	obligatory	"	ragtag	"	bunch	of	"	cowboys	"	,	including	a	blond	guy	,	a	fat	guy	,	a	black	guy	,	a	wiseass	,	and	the	man	who	is	sleeping	with	his	daughter	(	affleck	)	.	once	they	reach	space	,	we	experience	sequence	after	sequence	of	something	going	wrong	perhaps	the	fact	that	they	sent	a	bunch	of	nincompoops	into	outer	space	has	something	to	do	with	it	;	i	cannot	count	the	number	of	times	they	almost	fail	the	mission	on	all	my	fingers	and	toes	.	whether	or	not	they	save	the	day	,	i	will	not	reveal	.	nor	will	you	care	.	i	will	say	this	:	you	know	you're	in	trouble	when	deep	impact	dwarfs	your	asteroid	movie	in	terms	of	emotion	and	scope	.	willis	has	barely	a	chance	to	come	alive	;	ditto	for	affleck	.	their	big	scenes	are	mostly	reserved	for	the	third	act	,	in	a	last	minute	and	futile	attempt	to	inject	warmth	into	the	material	.	steve	buscemi's	character	the	wiseass	is	exceptionally	problematic	.	"	rockhound	"	,	as	he's	called	,	is	sarcastic	and	foolish	,	so	they	tape	him	to	a	chair	,	where	he	spends	most	of	the	film	.	so	why	did	they	bring	him	up	there	to	begin	with	?	rather	,	why	write	him	into	the	film	?	give	his	almost	witty	one	liners	to	serious	willis	,	who	scowls	and	mopes	and	demonstrates	psychotic	tendencies	:	at	one	point	he	chases	after	affleck	with	his	shotgun	for	screwing	his	daughter	,	firing	often	and	causing	significant	damage	to	his	oil	rig	.	i'm	guessing	he	qualifies	under	nasa	guidelines	as	someone	unfit	for	space	travel	,	at	least	in	my	world	where	the	sky	is	blue	.	liv	tyler	is	pretty	and	humourless	,	as	always	;	suspiciously	,	four	of	her	father's	band's	(	"	aerosmith	"	)	songs	grace	the	soundtrack	.	director	michael	bay	lays	the	visual	and	sound	effects	on	thick	,	like	ketchup	,	eventually	drowning	the	movie	on	screen	.	(	the	middle	hour	is	a	non	sensical	,	pyrotechnic	assault	on	the	average	primate's	brain	.	)	whenever	someone	dies	in	this	movie	,	a	crew	member	inevitably	yells	out	"	we	lost	(	insert	dead	person's	last	name	here	)	!	"	i	must	admit	that	not	once	could	i	distinguish	a	dead	oil	guy	cum	astronaut	from	a	live	one	,	and	close	ups	of	the	corpses'	faces	beneath	cracked	helmets	provided	little	assistance	,	as	their	skin	was	often	covered	in	fake	blood	.	armageddon	is	not	as	terrible	movie	as	godzilla	.	it	looks	nicer	,	and	has	fewer	plot	holes	within	its	equally	ludicrous	framework	.	it	has	a	vivid	soundmix	.	but	at	almost	two	and	a	half	hours	,	i	could	not	believe	how	little	actually	happened	over	the	course	of	the	story	.	the	love	story	has	been	played	up	in	the	ads	,	perhaps	hoping	to	catch	people	before	they	recover	from	titanic	fever	.	bollocks	!	the	lovers	in	the	film	are	miles	apart	throughout	erase	all	thoughts	of	nude	sketching	or	car	sex	and	replace	them	with	obligatory	shots	of	liv	tyler	tearing	up	while	ben	affleck	dicks	around	in	a	moon	crawler	.	remember	a	little	film	called	jaws	?	in	this	film	,	three	independent	minded	men	suddenly	found	themselves	on	a	fishing	boat	in	pursuit	of	a	deadly	shark	.	they	didn't	much	like	each	other	at	first	;	eventually	,	they	started	to	respect	one	another	.	one	of	jaws'	great	scenes	involved	the	would	be	ahabs	drinking	and	singing	songs	and	telling	stories	.	this	is	the	sort	of	male	bonding	foreign	to	bay	or	his	producer	,	jerry	bruckheimer	,	who	throw	too	many	characters	into	the	mix	and	expect	we'll	care	about	them	on	the	grounds	that	the	world	is	about	to	end	.	not	once	do	we	get	the	feeling	that	these	characters	are	even	acquaintances	i'd	be	surprised	if	these	actors	bothered	to	introduce	themselves	to	one	another	before	"	action	"	was	called	.	a	male	friend	who	loved	the	film	suggested	to	me	that	perhaps	i	cannot	relate	to	a	bunch	of	men	who	don't	bare	their	souls	,	who	believe	in	dying	macho	concepts	like	heroism	and	a	kind	of	chest	beating	bravery	.	to	this	,	i	will	respond	that	the	boys	in	armageddon	are	neither	heroic	,	nor	brave	,	nor	smart	,	even	:	this	team	couldn't	build	a	birdhouse	.	and	if	i	get	no	respect	for	disliking	a	movie	with	all	the	synthetic	feeling	of	a	trailer	a	trailer	for	a	movie	written	by	a	team	of	body	builders	and	greeting	card	authors	i've	never	been	a	prouder	wimp	my	whole	life	.
neg	i'll	start	by	saying	up	front	that	i	really	don't	admire	bette	midler	.	i	find	her	loud	,	hammy	,	a	bit	trashy	,	and	generally	obnoxious	in	every	way	.	oddly	,	this	instantly	qualifies	her	to	play	novelist	jacqueline	susann	,	who	was	loud	,	hammy	,	a	bit	trashy	,	and	generally	obnoxious	in	every	way	.	if	the	name	susann	doesn't	ring	a	bell	,	it's	because	you're	too	young	.	"	jackie	"	was	a	washed	up	actress	and	radio	star	when	she	penned	her	first	novel	,	the	valley	of	the	dolls	,	which	went	on	to	become	,	at	its	time	,	the	biggest	selling	novel	ever	.	why	?	in	the	late	60's	the	tale	of	drugs	and	lurid	sex	against	the	backdrop	of	hollywood	was	shocking	.	now	,	it's	quite	tepid	,	and	so	is	this	film	,	exploring	susann's	rise	to	fame	.	and	fame	is	what	our	jackie	was	after	.	she	was	what	you	might	even	call	a	fame	whore	.	she	prays	to	a	tree	for	fame	.	after	getting	cancer	,	she	bargains	with	god	for	ten	more	years	of	life	so	she	can	have	more	fame	.	kids	,	this	is	not	a	role	model	.	with	the	movie's	tagline	"	talent	isn't	everything	,	"	our	heroes	hope	to	inspire	the	wretches	of	the	earth	to	greatness	,	by	showing	that	even	a	loud	,	hammy	,	trashy	,	and	generally	obnoxious	in	every	way	person	can	become	a	star	with	a	little	luck	and	grunt	work	.	but	susann	midler	is	so	gratingly	awful	,	not	only	when	it	comes	to	talent	,	but	also	as	a	person	,	it's	impossible	to	relate	to	the	character	.	oh	,	and	this	is	a	comedy	.	you	might	think	a	comedy	would	really	blow	if	the	lead	is	dying	of	cancer	.	oh	,	and	how	it	blows	.	i	smiled	maybe	once	during	this	film	,	and	what	with	jokes	like	"	table	for	three	:	two	adults	and	one	gentile	,	"	how	can	you	blame	me	?	everything	from	the	opening	credits	to	burt	bacharach's	tinny	score	is	just	plain	bad	.	that	said	,	i	was	stunned	to	hear	the	laughter	of	our	baby	boomer	heavy	audience	throughout	this	film	.	maybe	it	worked	for	them	,	but	boy	did	it	fail	for	me	.	frankly	i	would	have	preferred	to	go	beyond	the	valley	of	the	dolls	.
neg	literally	blink	,	and	you'll	miss	_	soldier	_	's	lone	flash	of	wit	:	a	fleeting	glimpse	of	a	computer	screen	listing	futuristic	supersoldier	todd's	(	kurt	russell	)	numerous	war	commendations	,	among	them	the	"	plissken	patch	"	referring	,	of	course	,	to	russell's	character	in	john	carpenter's	_	escape	_	from	.	.	.	_	movies	.	the	rest	of	this	sci	fi	actioner	is	brainless	junk	though	writer	david	webb	peoples	and	director	paul	anderson	serve	up	an	interesting	basic	premise	.	in	the	future	,	a	select	few	males	are	chosen	at	birth	to	be	trained	their	whole	life	as	soldiers	,	nothing	more	;	veteran	soldier	todd	is	among	the	best	,	if	not	_	the	_	best	.	but	when	a	new	genetically	engineered	brand	of	soldier	is	developed	,	todd	and	his	ilk	are	rendered	obsolete	.	from	here	,	the	story	takes	a	most	uninspired	turn	.	presumed	dead	,	todd	is	dumped	onto	a	trash	dump	planet	,	where	he	meets	up	with	a	peaceful	community	of	people	who	look	and	act	like	extras	from	_	the	_	postman	_	.	for	reasons	that	are	never	clear	,	the	new	soldiers	attack	this	trash	planet	,	and	the	film	becomes	an	outer	space	_	rambo	_	,	boldly	declaring	,	"	i'm	gonna	kill	'em	all	,	sir	!	"	thus	ensues	much	machine	gun	action	and	laughable	"	emotional	"	content	where	todd	finds	the	humanity	within	his	tough	exterior	.	it	plays	even	worse	than	it	sounds	.
neg	"	houston	.	we	have	a	serious	problem	.	"	after	making	"	mission	:	impossible	"	,	brian	de	palma	has	a	lot	to	live	up	to	.	by	making	an	epic	science	fiction	and	inviting	great	cast	and	talented	crew	,	he	hopes	to	reach	the	modern	audience	.	and	the	possibilities	are	certainly	there	,	but	the	result	is	a	great	disaster	.	starting	in	a	near	future	,	with	a	prologue	copied	from	"	apollo	13	"	,	de	palma	slowly	builds	up	his	"	story	"	.	the	human	race	has	already	set	foot	on	mars	.	a	research	expedition	has	vanished	without	trace	on	the	red	planet	and	another	one	has	been	sent	to	find	out	what	happened	.	this	is	basically	the	whole	plot	.	so	it's	hard	to	imagine	that	it	can	be	stretched	to	2	hours	.	but	de	palma	manages	to	do	that	.	it	is	not	a	very	good	achievement	.	as	we	follow	this	expedition	to	mars	and	watch	them	slowly	float	in	space	,	the	hardest	thing	to	do	is	stay	awake	.	the	film's	major	problem	is	that	it	tries	to	seem	more	clever	than	it	is	.	david	mamet's	dialogue	,	while	trying	to	seem	natural	,	is	distant	and	simply	fake	.	de	palma	and	mamet	wanted	to	combine	action	with	a	thought	provoking	plot	.	the	result	is	more	like	an	unsuccessful	mutation	of	kubrick's	"	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	"	,	"	apollo	13	"	and	"	godzilla	"	.	to	make	time	pass	,	the	creators	have	inserted	several	"	refreshing	"	scientific	details	,	that	would	not	convince	a	half	crazed	frog	.	it	consists	of	multiple	copies	and	direct	ripp	offs	from	several	great	science	fiction	films	and	stories	.	when	it	finally	presents	an	almost	original	idea	,	it	falls	flat	because	of	its	uncovered	stupidity	.	i	can't	even	call	this	film	predictable	,	since	no	one	with	a	healthy	imagination	can	come	up	with	something	like	this	.	sometimes	it	gets	so	cheesy	,	that	you'll	start	laughing	when	you're	supposed	to	cry	and	cry	when	you're	supposed	to	laugh	.	you'll	see	enormous	sandstorms	,	hear	mysterious	sounds	and	,	last	but	not	least	,	on	this	"	constantly	surprising	"	tour	you'll	see	an	alien	.	it's	really	hard	to	find	comparisons	to	such	an	experience	,	and	i	know	that	i've	never	said	that	before	(	i	thought	i	never	would	)	,	but	"	lost	in	space	"	is	actually	better	.	that's	an	achievement	in	itself	!	director	brian	de	palma	has	stroke	gold	with	"	untouchables	"	that	became	an	instant	american	classic	.	it	is	for	this	film	that	he	will	be	remembered	,	while	all	his	other	failures	will	be	forgotten	.	he'll	live	to	fight	another	day	!	i	send	the	actors	my	condolences	,	since	they	truly	do	try	to	transform	into	their	undeveloped	and	dull	characters	.	and	both	the	cinematography	,	production	design	and	art	direction	are	very	decent	.	it	is	because	of	the	achievement	of	254	people	,	that	i	rate	this	film	2	10	.	unfortunately	their	hard	work	was	in	vain	.	if	you	have	problems	with	insomnia	,	i	recommend	you	this	film	.	if	you're	not	asleep	within	the	first	half	hour	,	consult	your	doctor	.
neg	eddie	murphy	has	a	lot	riding	on	harlem	nights	.	as	the	movie's	writer	,	director	,	executive	producer	,	and	star	,	murphy	will	shoulder	all	of	the	blame	if	harlem	nights	fails	.	but	at	the	same	time	,	he'll	receive	all	of	the	credit	if	it	succeeds	.	should	you	sacrifice	your	hard	earned	cash	to	support	murphy's	risky	gamble	?	well	,	that	depends	on	whom	you	trust	more	:	me	or	eddie	murphy	.	here's	what	murphy	thinks	:	"	i	think	the	audience	is	expecting	a	good	time	.	they	gonna	get	sexy	.	they	gonna	get	funny	.	they	gonna	get	drama	.	they	gonna	get	all	of	that	.	i	think	it's	the	best	movie	i've	done	"	(	paramount	radio	network	)	.	here's	what	i	think	:	harlem	nights	is	charmless	,	unoriginal	,	disappointing	,	and	almost	without	question	,	the	worst	film	of	the	actor's	career	(	i	haven't	seen	best	defense	)	.	and	guess	who's	to	blame	?	!	the	movie's	problem	is	not	murphy's	direction	:	harlem	nights	is	a	fairly	good	looking	film	.	no	,	the	project	was	probably	doomed	even	before	the	cameras	rolled	.	murphy's	awful	script	is	the	culprit	.	let's	count	the	mistakes	he	makes	in	his	first	attempt	at	screenwriting	:	(	1	)	murphy	shatters	the	record	for	the	most	profanity	in	a	motion	picture	.	yes	,	he	even	outdoes	his	own	work	in	raw	.	practically	every	line	of	dialogue	in	harlem	nights	contains	at	least	one	four	letter	word	.	and	after	15	minutes	,	it	gets	irritating	.	(	2	)	murphy	wastes	the	talents	of	his	fine	cast	.	richard	pryor	,	redd	foxx	,	michael	lerner	,	and	della	reese	face	the	impossible	task	of	carving	out	credible	characters	from	a	script	riddled	with	stereotypes	.	each	of	them	shines	occasionally	,	but	basically	what	we	have	are	good	performers	stuck	in	a	bad	vehicle	.	(	3	)	the	movie	demeans	women	by	depicting	them	solely	as	sexual	objects	and	as	pawns	in	power	struggles	between	men	.	murphy	has	admitted	in	interviews	that	he	is	weary	of	women	in	his	private	life	,	which	is	really	neither	here	nor	there	.	but	when	murphy	puts	his	bitter	feelings	on	3	,	000	movie	screens	across	the	country	,	it's	another	matter	altogether	.	you're	forced	to	swallow	some	pretty	gruesome	stuff	.	for	instance	,	murphy	punches	della	reese	in	the	stomach	.	and	he	shoots	jasmine	guy	in	the	head	.	this	is	a	mean	spirited	movie	,	folks	!	lovely	newcomer	lela	rochon	gets	off	easy	in	her	role	as	a	common	whore	,	but	only	because	she	doesn't	have	any	scenes	with	murphy	.	thank	god	:	he	might	have	run	her	over	with	a	bulldozer	.	(	4	)	murphy	has	written	for	himself	perhaps	his	blandest	role	to	date	.	the	loveable	eddie	murphy	charisma	emerges	only	once	or	twice	during	the	film	.	murphy	would	rather	give	his	character	a	spiffy	wardrobe	than	a	spiffy	personality	.	sometimes	it	seems	as	if	murphy	made	harlem	nights	just	so	he	could	wear	fancy	suits	and	look	debonair	.	(	5	)	the	plot	is	a	shameless	rip	off	of	the	sting	.	if	you're	going	to	make	another	sting	movie	,	you've	got	to	do	something	original	.	murphy's	tale	of	warring	nightclub	owners	in	harlem	(	circa	1938	)	fails	to	add	anything	new	to	the	formula	.	(	6	)	to	get	laughs	,	murphy	makes	fun	of	stuttering	.	you	know	a	comedy	is	digging	deep	when	it	resorts	to	ridiculing	the	handicapped	.	(	7	)	murphy's	idea	of	drama	is	a	scene	in	which	his	character	apologizes	for	the	first	time	in	his	life	.	for	what	?	for	shooting	reese's	little	toe	off	!	needless	to	say	,	murphy	shows	little	,	if	any	,	promise	or	imagination	as	a	screenwriter	.	in	all	fairness	,	however	,	a	few	rays	of	sunshine	do	manage	to	break	through	the	gloomy	cloud	surrounding	the	movie	.	danny	aiello	is	fun	to	watch	as	a	dirty	cop	on	the	take	.	aiello	stands	out	in	the	large	,	ensemble	cast	:	he	obviously	relishes	the	opportunity	to	play	such	a	nasty	character	(	a	racist	detective	with	mob	ties	)	.	aiello's	zesty	performance	gives	harlem	nights	some	much	needed	spice	.	another	bright	spot	is	arsenio	hall	,	who	has	a	hilarious	,	show	stopping	cameo	as	a	cry	baby	gangster	;	hall	virtually	steals	the	spotlight	from	murphy	.	in	fact	,	hall's	ten	minutes	on	screen	are	the	funniest	ten	minutes	in	the	movie	.	unfortunately	,	his	character	is	completely	irrelevant	to	the	plot	;	murphy	should	have	given	hall	a	much	bigger	role	.	of	course	,	i've	already	mentioned	that	i	didn't	care	for	murphy's	character	,	but	i	have	to	admit	that	i	did	love	his	neckties	.	they	are	simply	spectacular	almost	worth	the	price	of	admission	.
neg	remember	tom	cruise	and	brian	brown	as	rival	bartenders	juggling	bottles	of	booze	in	"	cocktail	"	?	remember	how	stupid	that	looked	?	and	remember	the	scantily	clad	dancers	of	"	flashdance	"	getting	doused	with	buckets	of	water	?	well	,	"	coyote	ugly	"	does	those	films	five	better	(	or	six	better	if	you	count	john	goodman	)	,	since	here	we	have	piper	perado	,	maria	bello	,	tyra	banks	,	melanie	lynskey	,	and	izabella	miko	doing	the	absolut	spinning	and	jiggling	thing	while	pouring	pitchers	of	perrier	all	over	their	semi	naked	torsos	.	no	,	goodman	doesn't	flip	jim	beams	or	wear	anything	particularly	risqu	in	the	film	but	he	does	get	up	on	the	bar	and	start	gyrating	with	the	rest	of	them	.	and	the	central	character's	love	interest	,	played	by	an	australian	actor	named	adam	garcia	,	proves	he	can	get	up	on	that	bar	and	start	shimmying	along	with	the	rest	of	them	too	.	what	seems	to	have	started	life	as	a	victoria's	secret	photo	shoot	quickly	deteriorates	into	one	heck	of	an	embarrassing	movie	.	violet	(	perado	)	is	a	south	amboy	hopeful	who	tries	to	make	it	big	as	a	songwriter	(	not	a	welder	)	in	new	jack	city	.	as	nave	as	they	come	,	she's	fobbed	off	by	music	producer's	receptionists	by	the	scorn	ful	and	has	her	apartment	robbed	hours	after	touching	down	in	chinatown	.	and	,	like	her	mother	before	her	,	she	gets	stage	fright	whenever	she	tries	to	do	the	open	mike	night	thing	.	when	she	sees	a	trio	of	babe	a	licious	barkeeps	thumbing	through	a	stack	of	20s	in	an	all	night	diner	,	violet	simply	has	to	check	out	this	bar	they	call	coyote	ugly	.	lil	(	bello	)	,	the	no	nonsense	owner	,	agrees	to	give	violet	an	audition	but	violet	blows	it	.	still	,	lil	gives	violet	another	chance	.	a	riot	breaks	out	(	riots	are	the	order	of	the	day	at	'ugly's	,	since	the	staff	are	relentless	in	flaunting	their	sexual	wares	,	flambeeing	the	bar	,	and	soaking	the	patrons	with	diet	sprite	this	is	certifiable	behavior	in	case	i	didn't	mention	it	)	but	violet	successfully	subdues	the	crowd	by	singing	along	to	blondie's	"	one	way	or	another	"	on	the	jukebox	.	she's	hired	!	and	cured	,	since	this	little	episode	gives	her	the	confidence	to	sing	in	an	amateur	talent	contest	where	her	dad	(	goodman	)	,	the	junk	food	eating	,	laundry	impaired	toll	collector	,	comes	to	see	her	and	is	as	proud	as	punch	.	the	end	.
neg	the	most	depressing	thing	about	the	depressingly	pedestrian	james	bond	film	"	the	world	is	not	enough	"	is	its	final	frame	:	white	letters	on	a	black	background	proclaiming	"	james	bond	will	return	.	"	oh	i	certainly	hope	not	.	with	pierce	brosnan	in	his	third	and	reportedly	last	go	round	as	james	bond	007	,	"	the	world	is	not	enough	"	is	the	best	example	to	date	that	"	'enough	"	is	enough	.	in	this	,	the	19th	chapter	in	the	seemingly	endless	franchise	featuring	ian	fleming's	debonair	british	secret	agent	who	likes	his	martinis	and	his	nemeses	shaken	not	stirred	,	the	sub	inspired	screenwriters	have	chosen	to	rehash	all	of	the	setups	,	stunts	,	and	sexy	encounters	of	the	previous	18	bond	flicks	rather	than	coming	up	with	anything	the	slightest	bit	original	.	we've	got	previously	used	speedboat	chases	,	ski	chases	,	and	sticky	situations	aboard	nuclear	submarines	.	we've	got	a	couple	of	hot	to	trot	babes	without	an	ounce	of	acting	ability	between	them	.	we've	got	a	post	cold	war	megalomaniac	bent	on	world	domination	slash	destruction	(	here	played	by	a	skinheaded	robert	carlyle	with	mean	,	lean	panache	)	.	and	,	as	has	been	the	case	since	1977's	"	the	spy	who	loved	me	,	"	we've	got	a	plot	that	has	nothing	whatsoever	to	do	with	anything	conceived	by	mr	.	fleming	.	we've	also	got	a	main	title	song	by	garbage	to	which	,	with	very	little	effort	,	you	can	fit	the	lyrics	to	both	songs	from	"	tomorrow	never	dies	.	"	while	originality	was	never	the	series'	strong	suit	,	the	films	were	almost	always	fun	,	with	at	least	some	thought	going	into	the	nonstop	stunts	.	i	can't	think	of	one	memorable	set	piece	in	the	entire	and	very	dull	"	the	world	is	not	enough	.	"	in	addition	,	michael	apted	(	yes	,	the	respected	director	of	such	films	as	"	coal	miner's	daughter	,	"	"	nell	,	"	and	the	"	28up	"	documentary	series	)	takes	embarrassing	advantage	of	the	full	range	of	bond	clichs	.	you	get	the	"	talking	killer	"	plot	device	you	know	the	scenario	:	the	bad	guy	has	the	good	guy	at	his	mercy	yet	waxes	poetic	just	long	enough	to	die	of	old	age	.	and	you	get	a	slew	of	high	priced	assassins	who	can't	hit	a	barn	door	at	20	paces	:	in	the	film's	opening	minutes	(	of	an	endless	128	)	,	bond	chases	a	sultry	sniper	along	the	thames	and	the	leather	clad	lovely	fails	to	hit	bond's	souped	up	"	fishing	boat	"	with	a	bazooka	when	he	pulls	within	a	few	feet	of	her	.	later	,	she	takes	off	in	a	hot	air	balloon	with	bond	dangling	from	a	guy	rope	beneath	her	but	is	still	unable	to	take	him	out	.	these	reliable	absurdities	are	more	frustrating	than	usual	since	there	are	no	distractions	other	than	occasional	ads	for	luxury	automobiles	,	vodka	,	or	credit	cards	.	in	and	among	the	rampant	product	placements	,	brosnan	grapples	with	carlyle	,	"	braveheart	"	's	sophie	marceau	(	as	former	kidnap	victim	slash	heiress	elektra	king	;	she's	terrible	)	,	"	wild	things	"	'	denise	richards	(	as	a	nuclear	physicist	lord	help	me	;	she's	laughable	)	,	and	judi	dench	as	m	.	dame	judi	brings	the	only	shred	of	dignity	to	a	series	that	has	long	since	jettisoned	its	self	respect	(	about	the	time	roger	moore	inherited	bond's	walther	ppk	)	.	brosnan	goes	through	the	motions	with	the	grace	and	charm	you'd	expect	of	the	former	"	remington	steele	"	star	,	but	even	he	has	to	be	thinking	there's	more	to	life	than	an	easy	paycheck	.	he's	given	plenty	of	wiseacre	asides	to	deliver	,	but	only	one	of	them	"	i	don't	know	any	doctor	jokes	"	made	me	chuckle	(	although	"	i	thought	christmas	only	comes	once	a	year	"	is	more	in	keeping	with	the	series'	penchant	for	grown	worthy	puns	)	.
neg	see	if	this	makes	sense	to	you	.	mtv	,	the	network	that	has	given	the	current	generation	of	teenagers	a	short	attention	span	and	craving	for	sex	and	violence	,	makes	a	non	violent	,	non	sexual	movie	out	of	something	that	was	originally	two	minutes	long	.	it	is	to	quote	the	green	day	video	they've	been	playing	all	summer	a	walking	contradiction	.	joe's	apartment	,	a	low	budget	,	low	plot	,	low	intelligence	and	even	lower	comedy	level	movie	,	is	based	on	a	very	short	film	that	has	been	airing	on	mtv	since	about	1993	.	in	that	film	,	a	young	man	brought	his	pretty	young	date	up	to	his	place	and	was	about	to	score	when	a	couple	hundred	talking	cockroaches	fell	out	of	the	chandelier	and	down	the	woman's	dress	.	it	was	a	decent	one	joke	,	two	minute	piece	of	entertainment	.	now	comes	the	ninety	minute	version	,	where	we	get	joe's	life	story	.	he's	just	out	of	college	and	trying	to	find	a	cheap	apartment	in	new	york	city	.	some	old	woman	dies	right	in	front	of	him	and	he	decides	to	move	into	her	apartment	,	but	the	punk	landlords	want	him	out	,	beginning	a	few	rounds	of	lowbrow	harrassment	.	also	wanting	him	out	of	the	apartment	is	a	transvestite	senator	who	has	bought	out	the	leases	of	every	surrounding	building	,	joe	being	the	only	thing	keeping	him	from	building	a	giant	prison	on	the	property	.	so	joe	moves	in	and	finds	out	he	has	a	few	thousand	roommates	,	a	bunch	of	talking	cockroaches	who	also	sing	and	dance	on	occasion	.	he	reacts	in	surprise	,	digust	,	etc	.	but	they	like	him	so	much	he	eventually	accepts	life	with	40	,	000	talking	insects	.	and	he	meets	a	woman	named	lily	who	wants	to	make	the	delapidated	neighborhood	into	one	big	garden	for	the	kids	to	play	in	before	getting	shot	.	joe	,	of	course	,	falls	in	love	instantly	and	wouldn't	you	know	it	?	she	turns	out	to	be	the	senator's	daughter	.	the	plot	is	right	out	of	a	hundred	other	comedies	with	slightly	unique	premises	driven	into	the	ground	.	the	idea	of	an	apartment	inhabited	by	talking	cockroaches	has	potential	but	never	goes	anywhere	because	the	writing	is	lame	and	the	plot	so	stale	and	transparent	,	not	to	mention	the	fact	that	the	joe	character	is	just	plain	annoying	.	joe's	apartment	alternates	between	petty	conflicts	with	the	hoodlum	landlords	and	scenes	of	joe	trying	to	find	a	job	or	impress	lily	.	none	of	it	is	any	good	and	the	only	times	the	movie	elevates	itself	past	awful	and	up	to	the	level	of	pretty	bad	are	when	the	cockroaches	do	their	three	song	and	dance	numbers	.	mtv	should	have	realized	what	they	were	getting	into	when	they	decided	to	inflate	something	to	almost	fifty	times	its	original	length	and	anyone	who	went	to	see	this	should	have	known	better	.	joe's	apartment	is	ridiculously	bad	,	unfunny	beyond	belief	.	it	gets	the	one	star	rating	on	the	strength	of	two	short	sequences	the	song	and	dance	number	where	the	cockroaches	swim	in	the	toilet	and	the	final	sequence	,	where	everything	turns	out	happy	and	the	cockroaches	turn	the	apartment	into	a	charismatic	church	,	complete	with	pipe	organs	and	a	crippled	cockroach	who	is	healed	by	faith	.	unfortunately	,	this	crippled	little	movie	is	never	healed	by	faith	or	anything	else	.
neg	directed	by	peyton	reed	.	screenplay	by	jessica	bendinger	.	starring	kirsten	dunst	,	eliza	dushku	,	gabrielle	union	.	running	time	:	98	minutes	.	rated	pg	for	mild	language	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	august	28th	,	2000	.	here	we	have	it	:	"	bring	it	on	"	,	the	first	feature	film	targeted	at	ten	year	olds	with	the	sensibilities	of	an	adult	.	or	maybe	at	adults	with	the	mindset	of	a	ten	year	old	;	frankly	,	it's	hard	to	tell	.	either	way	,	"	bring	it	on	"	is	an	uncomfortable	melding	of	an	after	school	special	plot	with	distinctly	mature	humor	.	it's	not	quite	paedophilia	,	fortunately	,	but	at	times	it	comes	disturbingly	close	.	whereas	movies	like	"	american	pie	"	are	up	front	about	their	attitude	toward	sex	and	profanity	,	"	bring	it	on	"	couches	its	mature	content	in	a	maudlin	,	juvenile	storyline	.	who	is	this	film	aimed	at	?	the	swearing	and	sensuality	is	clearly	not	for	the	young	.	the	story	will	bore	anyone	out	of	knee	socks	and	pigtails	.	"	bring	it	on	"	tries	to	appeal	to	all	demographics	,	and	in	doing	so	becomes	a	peculiar	hybrid	suitable	for	none	.	torrance	"	tor	"	shipman	(	kirsten	dunst	)	is	the	new	captain	of	the	cheerleading	squad	at	rancho	carne	,	a	high	school	in	a	well	to	do	san	diego	neighbourhood	.	although	the	school	football	team	is	a	perpetual	disaster	,	the	cheerleaders	are	champions	,	having	placed	first	in	the	nationals	for	five	years	running	.	the	squad	looks	set	for	another	easy	victory	until	new	recruit	missy	(	played	by	eliza	dushku	,	the	psychotic	slayer	faith	on	tv's	"	buffy	the	vampire	slayer	"	)	realises	that	all	their	routines	have	been	cribbed	from	the	cheerleaders	of	east	compton	high	in	urban	san	diego	.	tor	is	faced	with	having	to	develop	an	entirely	new	set	of	cheers	in	just	three	weeks	,	before	the	big	showdown	with	east	compton	and	its	captain	,	isis	(	gabrielle	union	)	,	at	the	national	championships	.	"	bring	it	on	"	reads	like	a	litany	of	teen	melodrama	cliches	.	there	are	,	of	course	,	the	snobby	white	girls	and	the	hip	but	poor	black	girls	.	there's	tor's	unfaithful	college	boyfriend	and	the	new	boy	who's	perfect	for	her	if	it	weren't	for	the	misunderstandings	which	keep	them	apart	.	there's	the	leadership	challenge	tor	must	endure	,	and	the	inevitable	climactic	meet	which	will	decide	everything	.	oh	,	and	let's	not	forget	the	syrupy	sweet	conclusion	in	which	all	wrongs	are	righted	,	and	everybody	goes	home	happy	.	but	most	damning	of	all	is	the	fact	that	,	for	long	stretches	of	time	,	"	bring	it	on	"	just	isn't	funny	.	partly	this	is	because	the	filmmakers	seem	uncertain	about	whether	they're	making	a	satire	or	a	serious	movie	,	and	so	the	jokes	just	cease	while	they	go	about	advancing	the	plot	.	and	partly	this	is	because	the	raunchy	humor	is	such	a	poor	fit	with	the	general	attitude	of	the	picture	.	several	jokes	aroused	only	uncomfortable	chuckles	from	the	audience	during	the	screening	i	attended	,	accompanied	by	much	squirming	and	shifting	in	the	seats	.	scenes	in	which	the	cheerleaders	parade	about	in	their	underwear	,	or	one	in	which	a	male	cheerleader	"	inadvertently	"	lets	his	fingers	slip	while	holding	up	a	pantie	less	female	cheerleader	,	sit	uncomfortably	next	to	the	simple	moralising	of	jessica	bendinger's	screenplay	.	indeed	,	"	bring	it	on	"	feels	like	a	movie	which	underwent	a	major	rethink	halfway	through	production	.	i'm	not	sure	if	it	started	out	as	a	sharp	pastiche	on	cheerleading	which	was	subverted	into	something	more	homogeneous	,	or	if	it	was	originally	just	a	standard	kids'	movie	later	spiced	up	to	bring	in	the	adults	.	without	a	doubt	,	i	would	have	preferred	either	to	the	end	result	.	to	be	fair	,	there	are	some	good	moments	.	for	example	,	a	sequence	in	which	a	desperate	tor	hires	a	professional	choreographer	to	discipline	her	troupe	is	a	lot	of	fun	,	as	the	dancer	(	ian	roberts	)	proceeds	to	tear	apart	each	and	every	member	of	the	rancho	carne	squad	.	dunst	manages	to	preserve	her	natural	charm	despite	the	poor	quality	of	her	material	.	she	makes	a	real	effort	here	,	but	she's	fighting	an	uphill	battle	and	just	can't	make	the	movie	succeed	on	her	own	.	dushku	is	also	very	good	,	although	the	script	never	really	finds	anything	for	missy	to	do	after	her	introduction	as	a	rebellious	gymnast	.	she	spends	the	rest	of	the	film	acting	like	dunst's	shadow	,	the	third	wheel	in	the	romantic	subplot	involving	tor	and	missy's	brother	cliff	(	jesse	bradford	)	.	less	laudable	is	the	movie's	treatment	of	the	east	compton	squad	.	their	appearances	are	so	brief	that	none	of	them	benefit	from	any	character	development	whatsoever	,	not	even	gabrielle	union's	isis	.	this	is	unfortunate	because	when	she	is	on	screen	,	union	demonstrates	a	real	presence	,	and	i	was	hoping	to	see	more	of	her	.	further	,	the	flimsy	portrayal	of	the	east	compton	troupe	ensures	that	their	rivalry	with	the	rancho	carne	cheerleaders	is	all	but	devoid	of	tension	or	excitement	.	it	is	difficult	for	the	audience	to	get	excited	about	a	competition	when	one	side	is	virtually	unknown	.	also	unimpressive	is	peyton	reed's	pedantic	direction	.	whereas	movies	of	this	sort	often	excel	at	showcasing	their	subject	material	,	if	nothing	else	(	"	center	stage	"	's	exposure	of	ballet	is	a	good	recent	example	)	,	"	bring	it	on	"	does	cheerleading	no	real	favours	.	despite	the	energy	and	enthusiasm	of	the	cast	,	their	routines	are	filmed	in	a	dull	and	commonplace	manner	.	as	much	time	is	spent	on	sending	up	the	sport	as	it	is	on	portraying	the	real	trials	and	tribulations	it	incurs	.	there	is	little	in	"	bring	it	on	"	to	suggest	that	cheerleaders	are	,	as	roberts'	choreographer	puts	it	,	anything	other	than	"	dancers	who	have	gone	retarded	"	.	an	ill	conceived	motion	picture	from	start	to	finish	,	"	bring	it	on	"	is	one	of	those	rare	films	which	isn't	just	dull	or	insipid	,	but	is	occasionally	embarrassing	to	watch	.	only	some	lively	performances	save	this	from	the	scrap	heap	of	the	truly	dreadful	.	"	bring	it	on	"	?	do	us	all	a	favour	please	,	don't	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	bringiton	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	bringiton	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
neg	the	marvelous	british	actor	derek	jacobi	stars	in	writer	and	director	john	maybury's	love	is	the	devil	about	the	popular	modern	artist	francis	bacon	.	as	always	,	jacobi's	acting	is	impeccable	,	but	the	movie	tries	hard	and	succeeds	at	being	unentertaining	and	opaque	.	the	movie	convincingly	argues	that	francis	,	played	by	jacobi	,	was	a	completely	despicable	and	vain	individual	,	but	it	never	provides	any	insight	into	his	work	or	any	motivation	for	his	attitude	.	when	interviewed	by	a	fawning	talk	show	host	,	francis	calls	his	style	"	chance	brushstrokes	.	"	starting	with	a	burglary	of	francis's	flat	,	the	film	uses	loud	sound	effects	that	sound	like	they	were	lifted	from	a	cheap	horror	movie	.	the	camera	shots	are	heavy	on	the	avant	garde	angles	lots	of	wide	angle	close	ups	and	distorted	shots	filmed	through	colored	glass	reflections	.	the	director	is	much	more	interested	in	filmmaking	style	than	in	the	substance	of	the	story	with	the	result	being	a	sterile	examination	of	a	lonely	and	vain	man	.	daniel	craig	,	in	a	lifeless	performance	,	plays	the	burglar	and	boxer	,	george	dyer	.	when	francis	lays	eyes	on	him	after	the	break	in	,	francis	promises	not	to	call	the	police	if	he'll	stay	for	sex	.	he	stays	for	the	entire	movie	but	never	respects	the	man	with	whom	he	shares	a	bed	.	he	thinks	that	francis's	paintings	have	"	no	bloody	use	,	"	and	the	movie	presents	no	counterargument	.	writer	maybury	barely	outlines	francis's	character	,	and	george	and	the	rest	of	the	supporting	cast	remain	a	complete	enigma	.	we	learn	little	of	george	other	than	francis's	reason	for	liking	him	george's	"	amorality	and	innocence	.	"	francis's	love	of	sadomasochism	is	shown	early	and	often	.	"	boxing	is	such	a	marvelous	aperitif	for	sex	,	"	he	reflects	to	george	on	the	way	to	watch	a	boxing	match	.	as	the	fighter's	head	is	sliced	open	with	a	heavy	blow	,	the	camera	cuts	to	a	gleeful	francis	whose	own	head	is	soaked	by	the	flying	blood	.	francis	appears	to	be	in	complete	ecstasy	.	another	of	francis's	favorite	activities	is	viewing	old	movies	of	atrocities	.	as	the	carnage	mounts	,	we	witness	an	orgasmically	happy	francis	in	the	audience	.	in	a	film	that	tries	obsessively	to	shock	,	one	dream	sequence	portrays	a	family	in	a	car	accident	.	francis's	mind	slowly	examines	every	bloody	limb	of	the	mother	,	the	father	,	and	the	boy	.	sometimes	the	script	throws	us	tidbits	of	francis's	wisdom	which	illuminate	little	while	merely	sounding	insightful	.	(	"	i'm	optimistic	by	nature	.	i'm	optimistic	about	nothing	.	"	"	loneliness	is	my	only	true	companion	.	"	)	we	learn	more	details	about	francis's	makeup	techniques	than	about	the	man	himself	.	he	prefers	shoe	polish	for	his	hair	and	sink	cleaning	powder	for	his	teeth	.	full	of	metaphorical	interpretations	,	the	film's	best	scene	occurs	late	one	night	when	george	has	to	get	up	to	go	to	the	bathroom	.	mistaking	francis's	picture	of	a	toilet	for	the	genuine	article	,	he	urinates	on	it	and	then	crawls	back	into	bed	contentedly	.	like	a	parody	of	a	bad	art	house	movie	,	love	is	the	devil	has	horrid	characters	filmed	bizarrely	and	confusingly	by	a	director	who	is	much	more	interested	in	technique	than	storytelling	.	by	the	end	,	the	audience	hasn't	learned	any	more	than	it	could	have	in	a	three	minute	sketch	.	love	is	the	devil	runs	1	:	30	.	the	film	is	not	rated	but	should	be	considered	nc	17	for	violence	,	profanity	,	graphic	sex	,	nudity	and	sadomasochism	and	is	unacceptable	for	most	teenagers	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	the	blues	brothers	was	a	wonderful	film	,	a	hilarious	comedy	packed	with	good	music	.	it	cried	out	for	a	sequel	,	but	john	belushi's	untimely	death	seemed	to	eliminate	the	idea	.	however	,	eighteen	years	have	passed	,	and	the	long	dormant	sequel	has	finally	emerged	.	unfortunately	,	it's	a	sequel	not	worthy	of	the	original	.	the	film	starts	exactly	eighteen	years	after	the	first	one	ended	.	elwood	blues	(	dan	aykroyd	)	is	just	getting	out	of	jail	,	his	brother	jake	having	recently	died	.	as	in	the	first	film	,	he	first	visits	mother	mary	stigmata	(	kathleen	freeman	)	and	then	sets	about	getting	the	band	back	together	.	john	belushi's	absence	leaves	a	terrible	hole	in	the	film	,	and	although	three	new	characters	are	created	to	fill	the	void	,	it	is	still	very	noticeable	.	first	,	there's	cabel	(	joe	morton	)	the	illegitimate	son	of	elwood's	stepfather	(	played	by	cab	calloway	in	the	first	movie	)	.	cabel	is	reluctant	to	join	his	destiny	,	and	spends	most	of	the	movie	as	an	illinois	sheriff	,	chasing	the	blues	brothers	band	.	next	,	there's	mighty	mack	(	john	goodman	)	,	a	bartender	who	becomes	the	new	lead	singer	of	the	band	.	finally	,	there's	buster	(	j	.	evan	bonifant	)	,	a	ten	year	old	orphan	who	tags	along	with	elwood	and	eventually	joins	the	band	.	the	plotting	of	the	film	is	hardly	original	.	.	.	it	seems	to	be	almost	a	clone	of	the	original	.	elwood	has	to	go	to	reluctantly	retrieve	each	member	of	the	band	,	they	then	travel	,	while	being	pursued	by	the	police	,	and	perform	at	several	odd	stops	until	they	finally	reach	the	big	concert	finale	.	the	first	film	had	neo	nazis	as	the	random	element	,	this	time	around	,	the	russian	mafia	and	a	militia	group	fill	their	role	.	in	fact	,	the	duplication	of	the	plot	is	so	ridiculously	complete	that	certain	scenes	are	practically	identical	to	the	original	.	remember	the	classic	performance	at	country	bob's	(	where	they	like	both	types	of	music	:	country	and	western	)	from	the	first	movie	?	well	,	this	movie	has	a	performance	at	a	country	fair	,	where	the	band	is	expected	to	play	bluegrass	music	.	there's	the	massive	police	car	pileup	,	although	this	time	the	gag	falls	completely	flat	.	there's	even	an	exact	replica	of	the	conversion	scene	in	the	church	of	reverend	cleophus	(	james	brown	)	.	there	are	plenty	of	recurring	characters	too	.	in	addition	to	mother	stigmata	and	reverend	cleophus	,	aretha	franklin	reprises	her	role	as	mrs	.	murphy	.	frank	oz	,	a	prison	guard	in	the	first	film	,	makes	an	appearance	here	as	the	prison	warden	.	as	the	stars	,	the	new	blues	brothers	don't	live	up	to	their	legacy	.	aykroyd	is	more	loquacious	,	yet	much	flatter	as	elwood	.	john	goodman	barely	has	a	character	as	mighty	mack	.	joe	morton	has	the	deepest	character	,	but	not	a	terribly	interesting	one	,	as	cab	.	and	what's	the	deal	with	the	orphan	?	it	plays	like	a	desperate	gimmick	that	doesn't	mesh	at	all	with	the	rest	of	the	film	.	at	least	bonifant	isn't	as	precocious	as	he	could	have	been	in	the	role	.	but	the	true	star	,	and	the	only	saving	grace	,	of	the	film	is	the	music	.	and	the	film	is	packed	with	it	(	even	during	and	after	the	ending	credits	)	.	although	there	are	no	brilliant	mergers	of	comedy	and	song	as	in	the	original's	rawhide	stand	by	your	man	medley	,	the	music	is	very	much	enjoyable	.	to	top	it	off	,	the	film	is	packed	to	the	gills	with	cameo	musician	appearances	.	b	.	b	.	king	,	blues	traveler	,	eric	clapton	,	travis	tritt	,	wilson	pickett	,	erykah	badu	,	bo	diddley	and	steve	winwood	are	just	a	sampling	of	the	multitude	of	stars	that	make	an	appearance	here	and	there	.	unfortunately	,	the	music	pauses	here	and	there	to	allow	in	the	familiar	plot	.	if	simply	copying	the	original	blues	brothers	wasn't	bad	enough	,	writers	aykroyd	and	john	landis	dumb	it	down	,	removing	any	memorable	characters	,	and	replacing	them	with	flashy	,	but	unbelievable	,	magical	gimmicks	.	it's	a	shame	.	buy	the	soundtrack	and	avoid	the	film	.	better	yet	,	rewatch	the	original	.	.	.	you'll	have	a	much	better	time	.
neg	"	love	to	kill	"	starts	off	aimlessly	and	gets	progressively	less	coherent	as	time	passes	.	at	the	outset	,	the	movie	appears	to	be	about	tony	danza	,	who's	an	illegal	distributor	of	guns	,	trying	to	establish	a	relationship	with	an	unsuspecting	woman	.	danza	sets	up	a	double	date	with	her	,	her	sister	,	and	a	collegue	of	his	.	everything	seems	to	be	going	well	,	until	the	sister	accidentally	dies	by	falling	down	a	set	of	stairs	.	much	confusion	and	mahem	ensues	,	as	the	death	is	covered	up	and	other	associates	of	danza's	begin	to	emerge	,	all	after	one	thing	or	another	.	sound	confusing	?	it	is	.	i	think	what	the	filmmakers	were	trying	to	do	is	take	the	standard	crime	movie	and	throw	in	a	little	humour	and	levity	.	in	some	respects	,	it	works	.	but	the	majority	of	the	film	is	a	convoluted	and	confusing	mess	.	characters	keep	popping	up	with	no	explanation	,	demanding	money	for	deals	that	occur	off	screen	.	the	only	aspect	of	the	movie	that	actually	works	is	the	budding	relationship	between	danza	and	the	dead	woman's	sister	.	but	so	little	time	is	devoted	to	this	part	of	the	story	,	we	never	really	become	too	familiar	with	these	characters	,	and	because	of	this	,	we	don't	really	care	what	happens	to	them	.	well	,	i	didn't	,	at	least	.	one	thing	i	will	give	the	movie	is	that	it's	a	complete	departure	for	tony	danza	.	here's	a	guy	,	because	of	his	many	sitcom	roles	,	who's	ingrained	in	the	consciousness	as	a	nice	guy	who	always	does	the	right	thing	.	here	,	he	plays	a	man	who's	just	looking	out	for	himself	,	and	if	that	means	he	needs	to	kill	in	order	to	save	his	own	skin	,	so	be	it	.	i	was	very	impressed	by	his	performance	,	and	within	minutes	of	the	start	of	the	film	,	i	had	forgotten	all	about	his	good	guy	persona	.	michael	madsen	is	also	good	as	an	associate	of	danza's	who	spends	half	the	movie	buddying	up	to	him	and	the	other	half	trying	to	kill	him	.	like	i	said	,	it's	not	exactly	a	linear	storyline	.	"	love	to	kill	"	should	be	praised	for	trying	to	do	something	different	with	the	well	worn	crime	genre	,	but	it's	just	too	bad	that	the	story	doesn't	really	add	up	to	much	.	the	stars	deserved	better	,	and	so	did	the	audience	.
neg	who	was	the	most	annoying	character	in	1995's	'babe'	?	farmer	arthur	hoggett's	wife	,	of	course	,	as	portrayed	by	magda	szubanski	.	just	our	luck	that	she	is	the	main	human	character	in	this	sequel	to	the	oscar	nominated	film	and	this	movie	is	protracted	,	dark	,	idiotic	and	lame	brained	.	what	made	'babe'	such	a	big	hit	in	1995	is	that	the	computerized	special	effects	(	which	won	as	oscar	)	,	made	the	animals	seem	like	they	were	really	talking	!	i'm	glad	this	film	is	failing	at	the	box	office	because	money	was	the	only	motivation	behind	this	mess	of	a	movie	that	will	make	you	despise	monkeys	,	loathe	hotels	and	never	desire	to	see	mickey	rooney	in	another	movie	.	he	is	a	true	screen	legend	and	i	can't	figure	out	why	he	would	degrade	himself	in	a	film	like	this	in	a	part	that	is	clearly	intended	for	a	no	name	actor	staggering	off	of	the	unemployment	line	.	the	film	has	no	script	,	mechanized	direction	and	screeching	slapstick	that	falls	flat	on	its	face	.	farmer	hoggett	(	james	cromwell	)	is	injured	in	an	accident	on	the	farm	and	babe	and	mrs	.	hoggett	make	a	trip	to	the	big	city	because	babe	is	in	demand	right	now	for	making	guest	appearances	all	over	the	world	since	he	won	the	sheep	herding	contest	at	the	end	of	the	last	film	.	the	reason	for	the	trip	is	that	it	will	mean	a	big	pay	day	for	the	hoggett's	and	the	money	will	save	their	farm	from	its	creditors	.	james	cromwell	appears	for	about	five	minutes	at	the	beginning	of	the	sequel	and	five	minutes	at	the	end	.	since	he	was	nominated	as	best	supporting	actor	for	the	first	film	,	i	would	say	this	is	a	big	let	down	for	the	audience	.	upon	arriving	in	"	the	city	"	,	it	is	a	combination	of	all	the	cities	in	the	world	as	things	devised	by	computer	for	the	film	as	seen	from	the	hotel	window	view	are	the	eifel	tower	in	paris	,	the	statue	of	liberty	in	new	york	city	,	the	hollywood	sign	in	california	and	the	cn	tower	in	toronto	canada	.	mrs	.	hoggett	meets	the	olive	oyl	type	landlady	of	the	hotel	(	mary	stein	)	who	is	also	an	annoying	character	.	babe	has	a	run	in	with	a	troupe	of	monkeys	who	live	in	the	hotel	with	a	seemingly	drunken	circus	clown	(	mickey	rooney	)	who	doesn't	utter	a	word	for	the	two	minutes	or	so	that	he's	seen	on	screen	.	the	monkeys	are	mean	spirited	and	they	hold	babe	against	his	will	for	an	appearance	in	their	circus	and	children	may	find	this	a	bit	frightening	as	the	whole	circus	routine	is	done	in	extremely	bad	taste	ending	in	a	fire	at	a	children's	hospital	?	?	?	!	!	!	babe	befriends	a	bull	terrier	,	meets	other	oddities	from	the	animal	world	and	the	film	goes	around	and	around	in	circles	without	a	real	pay	off	and	anyone	above	the	age	of	4	who	enjoys	this	film	is	in	serious	trouble	.	this	film	tries	to	be	different	from	the	first	movie	but	in	its	attempt	,	it	is	disorganized	,	clumsy	,	and	has	no	charm	at	all	.	the	film's	climax	has	too	many	humans	in	it	and	the	human	characters	as	a	whole	are	given	too	much	screen	time	in	this	one	and	while	babe	remains	a	cute	and	likable	character	,	the	only	redeeming	quality	this	film	has	is	the	rascally	duck	from	the	first	film	and	the	message	that	a	lot	of	animals	are	indeed	more	likable	than	a	lot	of	people	.	big	deal	.	we	already	know	that	!
neg	film	review	(	c	)	1997	by	kevin	pattersoncontact	(	pg	,	1997	)	directed	by	robert	zemeckis	.	starring	jodie	foster	,	matthew	mcconaughey	,	tom	skerritt	.	contact	is	a	film	that	tries	to	do	several	different	things	.	it	is	intended	to	present	a	realistic	picture	of	what	alien	contact	might	be	like	,	to	restore	a	sense	of	wonder	and	mystery	to	the	issue	of	extraterrestrial	life	,	to	raise	questions	about	science	and	faith	and	how	they	would	be	relevant	in	such	a	situation	,	and	to	tell	a	personal	story	of	a	romance	between	the	astronomer	dr	.	ellie	arroway	(	jodie	foster	)	and	the	religious	spokesman	palmer	joss	(	matthew	mcconaughey	)	.	the	film	succeeds	wonderfully	at	its	first	two	goals	.	the	portrayal	of	the	communication	from	an	alien	world	is	much	more	reasonable	(	albeit	less	immediately	engaging	)	than	,	say	,	the	cold	blooded	destructiveness	of	the	invaders	in	independence	day	or	even	the	complex	process	of	abductions	and	genetic	hybridization	that	forms	the	ongoing	plot	line	of	tv's	the	x	files	.	the	aliens	in	contact	seem	to	be	like	us	they	are	more	curious	than	anything	else	.	they	know	we	exist	,	they	want	us	to	know	that	they	exist	,	and	they	would	like	to	make	the	next	step	and	communicate	in	person	.	the	film	wisely	refrains	from	showing	us	the	aliens	directly	,	and	between	the	characters'	ongoing	speculation	about	the	extraterrestrials	and	the	outstanding	visuals	in	the	climactic	yet	enigmatic	scene	when	arroway	arrives	on	the	alien	world	,	that	sense	of	wonder	and	mystery	comes	through	with	a	force	rarely	seen	since	stanley	kubrick's	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	.	most	of	the	film	,	however	,	takes	place	on	earth	,	where	there	is	an	extended	public	debate	on	how	to	respond	to	these	aliens	.	scientists	are	enthusiastic	,	ultraconservative	religious	leaders	are	wary	,	and	government	officials	are	caught	somewhere	in	between	.	the	debate	is	fueled	largely	by	dr	.	arroway's	atheism	;	she	seems	the	obvious	choice	to	pilot	the	spacecraft	for	which	the	aliens	have	provided	blueprints	,	but	many	are	wary	of	sending	an	atheist	as	humankind's	representative	to	another	species	.	the	film	is	partly	successful	in	raising	and	exploring	these	questions	,	especially	when	it	reaches	a	conclusion	that	suggests	that	the	two	approaches	science	and	faith	could	be	viewed	as	complementary	rather	than	diametrically	opposed	.	still	,	the	film	falls	a	little	short	in	its	representation	of	this	conflict	as	it	exists	in	american	society	.	the	two	"	sides	"	are	represented	primarily	by	arroway	and	by	far	right	fundamentalists	,	but	in	reality	probably	80	of	americans	are	neither	atheists	nor	far	right	fundamentalists	.	palmer	joss	occupies	something	of	a	middle	ground	,	but	he	ultimately	becomes	distracted	by	personal	motives	and	comes	across	as	a	less	than	ideal	spokesman	for	any	ideology	.	then	again	,	the	film	does	concentrate	mostly	on	public	debate	,	which	does	,	after	all	,	tend	to	be	dominated	by	extremists	,	rather	than	on	dinner	table	or	college	dormitory	discussions	.	contact	is	accurate	in	its	portrayal	of	these	issues	,	then	,	but	only	within	the	narrow	scope	to	which	it	confines	itself	.	the	film's	one	clear	failure	is	in	the	portrayal	of	the	romance	between	arroway	and	joss	.	for	one	thing	,	it	resorts	to	the	tired	movie	clich	that	two	attractive	people	will	immediately	fall	in	love	as	soon	as	they	appear	on	the	screen	together	,	as	there	does	not	seem	to	be	any	other	reason	for	their	instant	mutual	attraction	.	the	romance	rarely	,	if	ever	,	sheds	any	light	on	the	characters	,	although	it	occasionally	tries	and	fails	joss's	explanation	that	he	quit	the	priesthood	because	of	the	celibacy	requirement	(	"	i	guess	you	could	say	i'm	a	man	of	the	cloth	,	but	without	the	cloth	"	)	,	for	example	,	is	more	like	a	punchline	to	a	joke	than	character	development	.	instead	,	the	romance	mostly	seems	to	exist	for	the	sake	of	later	plot	developments	.	granted	,	this	is	a	plot	and	idea	driven	film	and	the	characters	are	secondary	,	but	this	just	seemed	like	laziness	on	the	writers'	part	more	than	anything	else	.	the	successes	of	contact	,	however	,	far	outweigh	its	failures	.	even	if	the	social	commentary	had	fizzled	altogether	(	which	it	didn't	)	,	the	simple	yet	mysterious	story	of	alien	communication	still	would	have	made	it	a	memorable	film	.	contact	doesn't	quite	cover	all	the	bases	,	but	it	covers	about	as	much	as	one	could	hope	for	in	a	two	hour	film	,	and	its	rejection	of	big	budget	theatrics	for	a	more	realistic	story	is	certainly	admirable	.	and	i	would	not	be	surprised	if	,	ten	years	from	now	,	contact	is	mentioned	in	the	same	breath	as	2001	and	blade	runner	as	one	of	the	finest	examples	of	sophisticated	and	intellectually	relevant	science	fiction	.	grade	:	a
neg	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	i	was	incredulous	when	i	first	heard	that	mgm	was	planning	a	sequel	to	their	1995	science	fiction	flick	species	.	squandering	an	intriguing	premise	,	the	original	film	turned	out	to	be	a	dreadful	mess	,	widely	disliked	by	both	audiences	and	critics	alike	and	nonetheless	still	somehow	succeeded	in	becoming	a	financial	success	,	raking	in	over	60	million	domestic	during	the	competitive	summer	season	despite	a	distinct	lack	of	star	power	in	its	cast	(	ben	kingsley's	a	splendid	actor	,	but	a	marquee	name	he	ain't	)	.	miraculously	dodging	the	bullet	with	the	first	film	,	i	doubted	that	they'd	dare	tempt	fate	and	go	for	another	round	.	so	here	comes	species	ii	,	with	a	new	creative	team	(	director	peter	medak	and	screenwriter	chris	brancato	step	in	for	roger	donaldson	and	dennis	feldman	,	respectively	)	that	fails	to	improve	the	series	one	iota	like	its	predecessor	,	species	ii	fails	to	capitalize	on	a	potentially	promising	kernel	and	instead	runs	the	gamut	from	ridiculously	silly	to	unmitigatedly	stupid	.	the	film	follows	the	exploits	of	a	young	man	,	patrick	ross	(	justin	lazard	)	,	whose	sole	focus	is	on	cruising	along	the	streets	in	order	to	pick	up	women	,	loitering	in	strip	clubs	,	and	generally	trying	to	bed	as	many	different	ladies	as	he	possibly	can	.	in	other	words	,	patrick	is	like	a	lot	of	guys	;	these	activities	could	describe	the	everyday	routines	of	a	huge	percentage	of	men	his	age	,	but	there's	a	catch	he's	an	astronaut	who	recently	returned	from	a	seemingly	successful	mission	to	mars	,	and	who's	now	infected	with	alien	dna	.	patrick's	overriding	compulsion	:	to	mate	and	sire	countless	numbers	of	gooey	little	alien	offspring	.	and	when	he	becomes	aware	of	eve	(	natasha	henstridge	)	,	a	half	human	,	half	alien	clone	of	the	monster	from	the	first	film	being	studied	in	a	government	lab	,	patrick's	primary	focus	turns	to	her	"	if	these	two	were	to	mate	,	the	resulting	pure	strain	of	offspring	would	be	unstoppable	"	warns	dr	.	laura	baker	(	marg	helgenberger	,	gamely	reprising	her	role	)	with	admirable	conviction	.	species	ii	opens	with	the	mars	mission	,	and	the	space	scenes	are	remarkably	unconvincing	and	hokey	looking	,	even	splicing	back	to	dated	,	grainy	footage	of	actual	spacecraft	activities	they	really	skimped	on	production	values	this	time	around	.	however	,	this	all	looks	positively	inspired	when	compared	to	the	first	appearance	of	the	evil	alien	goo	which	ultimately	infests	patrick	;	watching	as	it	slinks	around	the	command	module	of	the	spaceship	,	any	question	as	to	whether	or	not	this	is	a	cheesy	b	movie	is	quickly	answered	.	mr	.	brancato's	original	screenplay	is	filled	with	outrageous	lines	which	often	leaves	the	audience	in	stitches	.	like	the	first	film	(	and	perhaps	in	homage	to	it	)	,	there's	a	real	penchant	for	dialogue	which	underlines	the	obvious	.	last	time	around	featured	the	hootworthy	line	uttered	by	forest	whitaker's	psychic	empath	character	upon	entering	a	bloodsoaked	room	"	something	bad	happened	here	.	"	this	time	,	laura	gets	to	stand	over	a	fresh	,	shredded	corpse	with	its	entails	ripped	out	and	mutter	"	this	is	awful	.	"	and	she's	not	even	empathic	!	and	when	a	psychotically	horny	patrick	accosts	a	supermarket	shopper	and	drags	her	kicking	and	screaming	behind	the	building	in	a	woefully	paced	suspense	sequence	,	eve	,	who's	telepathically	linked	to	her	alien	human	hybrid	counterpart	(	whatever	)	,	helpfully	tells	our	alien	hunting	protagonists	,	"	he's	going	to	rape	her	.	"	while	species	ii	is	often	unintentionally	hilarious	,	at	least	it	occasionally	demonstrates	a	sense	of	humour	of	its	own	.	there's	an	amusing	,	tongue	in	cheek	bit	of	product	placement	(	which	doesn't	really	make	much	sense	,	but	i	appreciated	the	sentiment	)	,	as	well	as	some	supermarket	related	hijinx	(	"	he's	in	aisle	1	!	"	informs	eve	)	.	if	the	film	maintained	this	sort	of	light	hearted	tone	,	it	would	have	been	much	more	charming	and	enjoyable	to	watch	,	but	,	to	its	detriment	,	it	instead	takes	its	silly	plot	far	too	seriously	and	barrels	along	to	a	bloody	,	effects	ladened	anticlimactic	conclusion	.	much	of	the	film	fails	to	make	a	whole	lot	of	sense	,	and	there	are	such	gaping	plot	holes	that	it's	terribly	difficult	to	contain	any	suspension	of	disbelief	.	the	implausibilities	are	endless	:	what	about	the	toxic	bomb	in	eve's	brain	?	why	are	the	guards	armed	with	guns	when	they	already	know	firearms	are	ineffectual	?	my	favourite	was	the	slow	motion	sequence	in	the	film	where	eve	,	sporting	superhuman	strength	,	is	shown	tossing	aside	guards	who	are	attempting	to	contain	her	with	what	look	like	body	blocks	.	this	is	the	sort	of	movie	which	leaves	you	holding	your	head	in	amazed	disbelief	,	incredulous	that	it's	being	foisted	upon	the	public	.	returning	headlines	michael	madsen	(	who	reprises	tough	guy	press	lennox	)	and	ms	.	helgenberger	do	what	they	can	with	this	goofy	screenplay	,	but	there's	realistically	only	so	much	one	can	do	with	this	script	as	a	basis	.	mykelti	williamson	(	portraying	astronaut	dennis	gamble	)	churns	out	an	all	too	familiar	spin	on	a	generic	brash	mouthed	character	,	and	fine	character	actors	george	dzundza	(	playing	colonel	burgess	and	looking	ridiculous	in	the	process	)	and	james	cromwell	(	patrick's	neglectful	father	,	senator	ross	)	are	utterly	wasted	in	the	film	.	mr	.	lazard	gives	his	character	an	appropriately	shifty	eyed	look	,	while	returning	vixen	ms	.	henstridge	is	actually	given	the	opportunity	to	act	in	one	scene	(	and	acquits	herself	nicely	)	,	but	is	mostly	relegated	to	reprising	her	familiar	role	of	parading	about	in	skimpy	clothing	(	or	none	at	all	)	.	ms	.	henstridge	recently	commented	on	how	some	female	audiences	have	expressed	appreciation	for	her	character	in	the	first	entry	of	the	species	series	,	claiming	that	"	she's	so	empowered	.	"	a	lethal	half	alien	in	heat	who	dispatches	of	her	sexual	partners	in	grotesque	fashion	now	that's	what	i	call	empowerment	.
neg	making	your	first	feature	film	ain't	easy	.	assemble	a	decent	,	if	not	,	strong	cast	,	as	writer	director	robert	moresco	has	done	with	one	eyed	king	,	and	you're	already	ahead	of	the	game	.	but	rehash	old	plot	lines	,	tired	dialogue	,	and	standard	clichs	,	and	a	well	intentioned	effort	such	as	this	one	could	jeopardize	your	chance	at	a	second	feature	film	.	how	many	more	movies	do	we	need	about	a	rough	neighborhood	full	of	lifelong	friends	hopelessly	turned	to	crime	or	worse	?	the	enormous	catalog	of	such	movies	might	dissuade	a	filmmaker	from	making	yet	another	,	but	here	we	have	it	.	again	.	five	irish	kids	in	nyc's	hell's	kitchen	make	an	overemotional	pact	over	some	stolen	rings	on	an	anonymous	rooftop	.	with	teary	music	.	and	slow	motion	.	in	the	film's	first	scene	.	the	kids	grow	up	to	be	fairly	worthless	adults	,	unable	or	unwilling	to	make	their	way	out	of	the	heat	of	the	kitchen	.	leading	the	clueless	pack	is	william	baldwin	as	a	good	hearted	guy	who	watches	out	for	his	buddies	and	is	in	tight	with	local	mob	head	armand	assante	.	i'd	like	to	say	that	his	character	gets	involved	over	his	head	in	some	sort	of	blah	,	blah	,	blah	,	but	all	we	seem	to	get	are	little	tastes	of	possible	plot	points	.	he's	concerned	about	buddy	jason	gedrick's	heroin	abuse	.	he	sticks	up	for	jim	breuer	after	he	impregnates	baldwin's	character's	sister	.	he	looks	into	who	might	be	pushing	the	most	moronic	looking	counterfeit	cash	ever	made	(	a	genuinely	funny	touch	)	.	but	none	of	this	ever	really	amounts	to	anything	.	it	seems	that	moresco's	greater	concern	is	to	provide	that	intangible	"	slice	of	life	"	,	that	flavor	of	the	neighborhood	that	everyone's	been	trying	to	evoke	since	scorsese's	early	work	.	so	,	we	get	the	drunk	guys	,	hugging	and	singing	together	at	the	local	bar	,	to	prove	to	us	that	they	really	love	each	other	.	(	do	people	actually	do	this	!	?	)	we	get	a	lot	of	tough	street	talk	usually	mumbled	for	effect	and	a	whole	lot	of	the	f	word	,	whether	it	sounds	like	it	fits	or	not	.	we	also	get	a	handful	of	good	actors	in	small	roles	that	seem	to	lack	purpose	.	bruno	kirby	,	chazz	palminteri	,	you	know	,	guys	you've	seen	in	movies	just	like	this	one	before	.	assante	is	intelligent	casting	as	the	man	that	everyone	fears	,	and	baldwin's	performance	is	adequate	,	but	most	of	the	rest	of	the	cast	jump	into	the	tough	guy	persona	so	thoroughly	that	it's	almost	funny	.	moresco	,	a	theater	guy	and	sometimes	tv	writer	(	including	the	series	falcone	)	,	obviously	labored	over	this	one	as	anyone	might	a	first	child	,	but	the	content	is	probably	too	personal	.	as	a	result	,	the	movie's	style	is	heavy	handed	,	in	need	of	a	considerable	amount	of	toning	down	.	nearly	every	time	an	action	by	the	grown	up	gang	recalls	something	they	did	as	kids	,	moresco	reminds	us	boy	does	he	remind	us	.	with	slow	dissolves	to	the	earlier	scene	,	running	in	slow	motion	,	complete	with	dialogue	from	the	present	,	just	in	case	we	don't	comprehend	the	link	to	the	past	.	moresco	needs	to	either	trust	his	audience's	intelligence	,	or	have	more	faith	in	his	own	presentation	rather	than	beat	us	over	the	head	with	it	.	his	next	project	should	have	a	little	more	personal	distance	,	and	a	lot	more	subtlety	.	if	he	actually	gets	that	chance	.	reviewed	as	part	of	our	2001	boston	film	festival	coverage	(	feature	story	coming	soon	)	.
neg	who	knew	that	in	16	years	eddie	murphy	,	who	made	such	a	brash	,	raucous	big	screen	splash	in	_	48	_	hrs	.	_	,	would	become	.	.	.	cuddly	.	the	disconcerting	trend	begun	in	this	summer's	cutesy	,	largely	laugh	free	_	doctor	_	dolittle	_	continues	with	this	earnest	to	a	fault	dramedy	.	although	he	is	top	billed	,	here	murphy	is	merely	support	for	jeff	goldblum	,	who	plays	ricky	hayman	,	the	programming	director	at	a	home	shopping	network	.	sales	are	way	down	,	and	ricky's	job	hangs	by	a	thread	until	he	meets	g	(	murphy	)	,	a	mysterious	spiritual	guru	whom	a	desperate	ricky	puts	on	the	air	.	while	sales	skyrocket	and	g	becomes	an	overnight	sensation	,	the	reinvigorated	ricky's	greed	grows	,	endangering	his	budding	romance	with	a	goodhearted	media	research	consultant	(	kelly	preston	)	.	writer	tom	schulman	has	some	promising	ideas	,	satirizing	home	shopping	and	infomercials	and	the	nature	of	instant	celebrity	.	but	these	ideas	would	have	more	bite	if	stephen	herek	had	invested	any	energy	into	the	direction	of	the	film	.	the	sluggishly	paced	_	holy	_	man	_	is	not	only	slow	and	overlong	(	113	minutes	)	,	but	an	unfunny	bore	,	and	murphy	can	do	little	to	juice	up	the	proceedings	;	cleansed	of	both	the	attitude	_	and	_	comic	sensibility	that	made	him	a	star	(	g	is	,	for	the	most	part	,	a	straight	man	)	,	he	is	a	curiously	lifeless	presence	.	goldblum	is	actually	quite	good	,	but	it's	hard	for	the	audience	to	sustain	much	interest	in	his	character	and	spiritual	journey	when	the	director	doesn't	seem	to	be	much	interested	,	either	.
neg	summer	catch	(	2001	)	freddie	prinze	jr	.	,	jessica	biel	,	fred	ward	,	jason	gedrick	,	matthew	lillard	,	bruce	davison	,	marc	blucas	,	brian	dennehy	,	corey	pearson	,	wilmer	valderrama	.	written	by	kevin	falls	and	john	gatins	.	directed	by	mike	tollin	.	108	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	2	stars	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	a	number	of	critics	have	decided	that	it's	open	season	on	freddie	prize	jr	.	,	slamming	the	young	actor	as	an	utterly	talentless	pretty	boy	on	career	cruise	control	in	sound	alike	,	disposable	teen	fluff	like	"	head	over	heels	,	"	"	boys	and	girls	,	"	"	down	to	you	"	and	"	she's	all	that	.	"	while	the	prinze	oeuvre	is	hard	to	defend	,	his	talent	is	not	.	i	first	saw	him	in	the	independent	dark	comedy	"	the	house	of	yes	,	"	where	he	gave	a	subtle	,	impressive	performance	as	the	younger	brother	in	one	of	america's	freakiest	families	.	prinze	has	the	acting	chops	;	he	just	needs	to	take	a	few	supporting	roles	in	some	grown	up	movies	to	show	the	non	believers	that	he	has	what	it	takes	.	"	summer	catch	"	certainly	won't	help	his	case	.	inoffensive	,	but	utterly	generic	,	the	baseball	related	romantic	comedy	does	little	more	than	kill	time	.	the	story	deals	with	the	love	affair	between	tenley	(	jessica	biel	)	,	a	wealthy	cape	cod	girl	and	ryan	(	prinze	)	,	a	local	boy	from	a	working	class	family	who	dreams	of	becoming	a	big	time	baseball	star	.	ryan's	preoccupation	with	his	new	honey	bunny	drives	her	elitist	father	(	bruce	davison	)	crazy	and	endangers	his	position	as	pitcher	with	a	cape	cod	summer	league	team	.	it's	a	wonder	the	kid	has	any	time	to	pitch	,	as	his	time	is	occupied	with	making	out	with	tenley	,	fighting	with	her	dad	,	bonding	with	his	own	dad	(	fred	ward	,	who	deserves	better	than	this	)	,	fighting	with	his	brother	(	jason	gedrick	)	and	carousing	at	a	neighborhood	bar	with	his	teammates	.	the	filmmakers	desperately	want	to	make	a	quirky	,	character	heavy	baseball	movie	like	"	bull	durham	,	"	but	haven't	got	a	clue	how	to	get	there	.	and	so	they	glide	from	one	clich	to	the	next	for	108	minutes	.	the	only	bit	of	originality	comes	from	marc	blucas	in	a	minor	role	as	a	center	fielder	from	texas	.	in	an	early	barroom	scene	,	blucas	,	best	known	as	demon	fighting	riley	finn	from	"	buffy	the	vampire	slayer	,	"	hears	a	young	woman	compliment	a	guy	on	his	ass	,	then	turns	to	teammate	matthew	lillard	and	states	,	"	he	does	have	a	nice	ass	.	a	bubble	butt	.	"	when	lillard	gives	him	an	"	are	you	insane	?	"	look	,	blucas	calmly	says	,	"	it's	nothing	sexual	,	"	then	goes	on	to	evaluate	the	hind	ends	of	some	other	players	,	including	lillard's	.	speaking	of	asses	,	prinze	does	not	bare	his	in	the	movie	.	the	actor	has	a	no	nudity	clause	in	his	contract	,	so	two	stunt	butts	were	employed	for	a	couple	of	semi	nude	shots	.	blucas	,	whose	character	secretly	dates	a	large	woman	throughout	the	story	,	gets	another	unique	moment	late	in	the	film	.	sick	of	hearing	teammates	make	"	fat	chick	"	jokes	,	he	climbs	on	top	of	a	table	and	loudly	declares	his	love	of	amply	sized	ladies	.	while	his	speech	still	ends	up	objectifying	women	,	it	remains	a	nice	change	of	pace	in	a	numbingly	ordinary	movie	.	trivial	tidbit	:	"	summer	catch	"	marks	a	scooby	doo	summit	.	marc	blucas	appears	in	"	jay	and	silent	bob	strike	back	"	as	fred	from	the	scooby	doo	gang	,	while	freddie	prinze	jr	.	plays	the	same	character	in	the	upcoming	big	budget	film	version	of	the	old	cartoon	.
neg	never	talk	to	strangers	(	1995	)	a	"	turkey	of	the	week	"	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1998	justin	felix	.	written	by	lewis	green	and	jordan	rush	.	directed	by	peter	hall	.	starring	rebecca	de	mornay	,	antonio	banderas	,	dennis	miller	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	,	nudity	,	and	profanity	)	86	mins	.	synopsis	:	blond	criminal	psychologist	sarah	chooses	to	copulate	with	greasy	tony	the	mysterious	puerto	rican	rather	than	bearded	cliff	the	wisecracking	neighbor	upstairs	.	in	the	meantime	,	someone	sends	sarah	rotting	flowers	,	puts	her	name	in	the	newspaper's	obituary	column	,	and	kills	her	cat	.	comments	:	never	talk	to	strangers	,	a	colossal	waste	of	time	,	moves	slower	than	molasses	in	winter	to	arrive	at	a	conclusion	which	should	be	obvious	to	the	audience	20	minutes	into	the	film	.	one	wouldn't	think	that	two	genuine	movie	stars	,	antonio	banderas	(	evita	)	and	rebecca	de	mornay	(	hand	that	rocks	the	cradle	)	,	and	the	acerbic	comic	genius	dennis	miller	(	"	saturday	night	live	"	)	would	be	involved	in	such	a	celluloid	backfire	as	this	turkey	.	not	only	are	they	in	it	,	however	,	but	de	mornay	executive	produced	it	.	what	was	she	thinking	?	never	talk	to	strangers	centers	upon	sarah	,	a	psychologist	examining	the	ill	tempered	max	,	a	murderer	soon	to	stand	trial	.	she	receives	a	sudden	visit	from	her	father	which	elicits	flashbacks	of	some	tragedy	in	her	early	childhood	.	two	men	woo	her	;	tony	the	"	security	consultant	"	wins	her	over	(	so	they	have	passionate	sex	replete	with	cheesy	saxophone	music	)	.	a	lot	of	psychobabble	is	thrown	around	about	multiple	personality	disorder	,	but	the	movie	asks	its	audience	not	to	derive	the	obvious	conclusion	between	mpd	and	sarah	,	and	instead	offers	several	male	characters	as	red	herrings	.	86	minutes	,	the	running	time	of	this	cinematic	mess	,	thus	,	seem	like	86	hours	.	a	good	chunk	of	never	talk	to	strangers	is	spent	upon	sarah	and	tony	.	why	would	the	career	minded	,	professional	sarah	feel	attracted	to	the	walking	steroid	with	a	black	hat	called	tony	?	that's	one	of	the	film's	mysteries	which	are	never	answered	.	regardless	of	motive	,	de	mornay	and	banderas	strip	down	and	have	sex	several	times	in	what	passes	for	eroticism	.	they	also	manage	to	go	out	before	copulating	occasionally	in	one	of	the	stupidest	scenes	of	the	film	,	tony	takes	sarah	to	a	carnival	that's	right	outside	his	dingy	apartment	(	that	way	,	they	can	hurry	back	and	have	sex	quickly	)	.	also	,	apparently	,	the	weather	changes	quickly	in	their	locale	:	they're	at	this	outdoor	carnival	one	day	before	having	sex	;	the	next	day	,	they're	out	playing	in	the	snow	before	having	sex	.	the	filmmakers	attempt	to	produce	a	suspenseful	plot	interspersed	with	tony	and	sarah's	"	character	development	.	"	someone	is	out	to	get	poor	sarah	(	though	most	of	the	audience	should	have	figured	out	who	before	any	of	this	starts	)	.	rotting	flowers	,	a	writeup	in	the	obituary	,	and	a	beaten	neighbor	are	just	a	few	of	the	bad	things	which	happen	to	her	.	suspense	cliche	number	one	also	occurs	:	whenever	someone	is	stalked	in	thrillers	,	by	any	means	,	if	the	stalked	has	a	pet	,	that	pet	will	die	.	oftentimes	,	to	even	further	the	cliche	,	the	murdered	pet	is	a	cat	(	suspense	filmmakers	,	for	some	reason	,	just	don't	like	cats	)	.	sarah	,	in	never	talk	to	strangers	,	receives	a	package	and	,	lo	and	behold	,	discovers	her	mutilated	cat	within	.	suspense	at	its	very	derivative	!	as	stated	before	,	never	talk	to	strangers	is	a	poor	excuse	for	a	film	whose	sole	purpose	seems	to	be	exploiting	banderas	and	de	mornay's	bodies	as	often	as	possible	.	comedian	dennis	miller	is	completely	wasted	here	(	he's	not	given	lines	that	are	suitable	for	his	persona	)	and	doesn't	even	appear	all	that	much	.	maybe	,	in	a	way	,	he's	lucky	for	that	.	early	on	in	the	movie	,	sarah	tells	tony	,	after	meeting	him	in	a	supermarket	,	that	she	had	been	advised	to	never	talk	to	strangers	.	allow	me	to	advise	that	you	never	watch	this	stinker	.
neg	attention	moviegoers	:	you	are	about	to	enter	a	meaning	free	zone	.	should	the	sound	system	malfunction	during	your	viewing	of	200	cigarettes	,	do	not	panic	.	the	film	will	work	just	as	well	as	a	silent	movie	.	chronicling	the	meaningless	lives	of	vain	,	yuppie	types	,	the	movie	covers	the	same	ground	as	the	wilt	stillman	films	(	last	days	of	disco	,	barcelona	and	metropolitan	)	but	without	any	of	his	acerbic	wit	and	the	inviting	style	of	his	writing	.	first	time	writer	shana	larsen	makes	the	mistake	of	creating	a	couple	of	dozen	characters	and	not	giving	any	of	them	any	depth	.	there	isn't	one	of	these	characters	worth	caring	about	.	the	movie	features	such	a	cornucopia	of	hot	young	stars	that	it	looks	like	a	celluloid	version	of	"	people	magazine	.	"	among	others	,	the	movie	features	:	ben	affleck	,	casey	affleck	,	david	chappelle	,	janeane	garofalo	,	gaby	hoffmann	,	catherine	kellner	,	courtney	love	,	jay	mohr	,	martha	plimpton	,	christina	ricci	and	paul	rudd	.	and	unlike	people	magazine	,	the	people	speak	,	not	that	they	have	anything	interesting	to	say	.	it's	new	year's	eve	in	1981	,	and	monica	(	martha	plimpton	)	is	preparing	her	big	party	.	structured	as	a	series	of	relatively	unrelated	stories	about	her	guests	on	the	way	to	the	party	,	director	risa	bramon	garcia	flits	back	and	forth	among	her	stars	.	monica's	apartment	is	in	"	noho	,	"	an	area	that	one	of	the	guests	describes	as	"	so	cool	,	all	of	the	poor	people	live	there	.	"	typical	of	the	shallow	couples	in	the	movie	are	kevin	(	paul	rudd	)	and	his	friend	and	would	be	sexual	partner	lucy	(	courtney	love	)	.	they	argue	about	whether	lucy	is	a	slut	or	not	since	she	sleeps	with	everyone	,	except	him	,	of	course	.	she	dares	him	to	go	immediately	to	a	bathroom	stall	and	have	sex	with	her	,	which	turns	out	to	be	neither	erotic	,	funny	or	successful	rather	like	the	rest	of	the	story	.	the	movie	gets	its	title	from	the	carton	of	cigarettes	that	lucy	gives	kevin	for	his	new	year's	eve	birthday	.	"	cigarettes	are	a	shield	against	emotional	interaction	with	other	people	,	"	kevin	later	tells	lucy	in	a	snippet	of	dialog	that	sounds	profound	only	outside	the	context	of	the	movie	.	another	character	,	played	by	jay	mohr	,	has	a	problem	with	his	sexual	triumphs	.	every	woman	he	beds	falls	deeply	in	love	with	him	by	the	next	morning	.	when	his	latest	conquest	tells	him	of	her	affection	for	him	,	his	response	is	"	i	like	a	lot	of	people	.	"	as	the	movie	finally	draws	to	a	close	,	the	characters	awaken	from	their	post	party	game	of	musical	beds	.	some	have	passed	out	early	from	alcohol	abuse	and	remember	little	,	while	others	actually	have	some	clue	as	to	what	happened	.	the	movie	itself	is	so	forgettable	that	by	the	time	you	reach	your	car	in	the	parking	lot	,	all	trace	of	the	film	will	have	vanished	from	your	mind	,	which	is	probably	the	best	thing	that	can	be	said	about	the	movie	.	200	cigarettes	runs	1	:	40	.	it	is	rated	r	for	profanity	,	sex	and	one	dope	smoking	scene	and	would	be	acceptable	for	older	teenagers	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	(	r	)	1	2	starring	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	brandy	norwood	directed	by	danny	cannon	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	obviously	,	the	hook	handed	ben	willis	is	at	it	again	,	this	time	it's	on	an	island	in	the	bahamas	where	the	lush	surroundings	are	just	bound	to	turn	deadly	.	in	the	middle	of	summertime	,	julie	james	(	hewitt	)	and	her	friend	karla	(	norwood	)	are	called	up	by	the	local	radio	station	.	they	have	to	guess	the	capital	of	brazil	to	go	on	their	dream	vacation	,	scrambling	around	the	kitchen	,	they	find	a	bag	of	coffee	that	says	it	was	produced	in	rio	.	they	guess	that	,	and	their	vacation	begins	.	karla	brings	along	tyrell	(	mekhi	phifer	)	and	reluctant	julie	is	forced	into	bringing	will	(	matthew	settle	)	because	her	old	boyfriend	ray	(	freddie	prinze	jr	.	)	has	to	work	.	apparently	julie	still	can't	get	over	the	fact	that	they	cut	off	ben	willis's	hand	and	threw	him	into	the	water	to	drown	in	the	last	movie	but	,	"	they	never	found	the	body	!	"	oh	my	!	what	shocking	horror	!	the	capital	of	brazil	isn't	rio	,	it's	brazilia	,	ben	has	set	them	up	.	he's	once	again	on	a	vengance	gig	,	back	for	more	action	this	time	killing	everyone	in	sight	.	i	mean	,	come	on	,	does	the	housekeeper	or	the	bartender	have	any	idea	what	julie	did	last	summer	?	and	what	happened	to	all	the	people	that	were	on	the	island	?	this	film	is	greatly	lacking	kevin	williamson	,	who	brought	spark	and	witty	dialouge	to	the	original	.	sarah	michelle	gellar	is	also	not	here	,	couldn't	she	have	been	resurrected	from	the	dead	in	a	demonic	ritual	or	something	?	this	film	is	so	predictable	,	and	it	even	surpasses	the	number	of	cliches	that	scream	mentions	and	features	.	i	don't	care	how	little	hewitt	has	on	for	most	of	the	film	,	so	i	give	it	1	2	stars	.
neg	ok	,	i	admit	it	i	find	camp	amusement	with	the	spice	girls	.	yes	,	the	same	spice	girls	of	the	gimmicky	individual	"	identities	,	"	they	of	the	annoyingly	infectious	bubblegum	pop	hooks	and	cheesy	unifying	mantra	of	"	girl	power	.	"	but	not	even	their	guilty	pleasure	appeal	isn't	enough	to	carry	their	big	screen	debut	,	a	junky	mess	which	would	be	more	aptly	named	shite	world	than	spice	world	.	the	film	begins	amusingly	enough	,	with	a	cheeky	007	esque	title	sequence	in	which	the	british	quintet	"	scary	"	(	melanie	brown	)	,	"	baby	"	(	emma	bunton	)	,	"	sporty	"	(	melanie	chisolm	)	,	"	ginger	"	(	geri	halliwell	)	,	and	"	posh	"	(	victoria	adams	)	are	introduced	one	by	one	(	to	,	much	to	my	surprise	,	excited	and	only	slightly	mocking	cheers	from	the	press	audience	)	as	they	croon	the	silky	ballad	"	too	much	"	(	a	tune	that	would	sound	right	at	home	in	an	actual	james	bond	film	)	.	a	few	minutes	and	an	elton	john	cameo	later	comes	an	introductory	tour	of	the	numerous	plotlines	that	run	through	the	film	:	(	1	)	the	spicy	ones	go	on	a	european	publicity	tour	leading	up	to	their	first	live	concert	at	london's	royal	albert	hall	;	(	2	)	a	film	producer	(	george	wendt	)	and	a	screenwriter	(	mark	mckinney	)	pitch	various	film	ideas	to	the	girls'	manager	,	clifford	(	richard	e	.	grant	)	;	(	3	)	a	documentary	film	crew	follows	the	girls	;	(	4	)	a	pregnant	"	mate	"	(	naoki	mori	)	of	the	group	rapidly	approaches	her	due	date	;	and	(	5	)	a	tabloid	publisher	(	barry	humphries	)	attempts	to	destroy	the	group	with	the	help	of	a	sneaky	shutterbug	(	richard	o'brien	)	.	capped	off	by	a	live	rendition	of	the	girls'	bouncy	hit	"	say	you'll	be	there	,	"	a	wealth	of	laughs	and	merriment	is	sure	to	follow	,	right	?	wrong	.	it's	all	downhill	from	there	as	spice	world	collapses	into	a	series	of	misfired	comedy	sketches	.	i	must	give	the	girls	credit	for	their	refreshing	willingness	to	make	fun	of	themselves	,	but	writer	kim	fuller	and	director	bob	spiers	can	barely	come	up	with	a	funny	joke	between	them	,	much	less	a	organized	framework	for	all	the	"	wacky	"	goings	on	.	spice	world	jumps	from	vignette	to	vignette	,	subplot	to	subplot	with	no	direction	and	little	sense	,	at	one	minute	having	the	girls	meet	with	aliens	(	no	joke	)	and	at	another	having	them	stage	a	daring	rescue	of	two	young	fans	who	fall	into	the	water	during	a	boat	ride	.	while	a	decent	joke	slips	through	the	cracks	here	and	there	during	a	"	dance	bootcamp	"	scene	,	the	girls	sing	the	lyric	"	we	know	how	we	got	this	far	strength	and	courage	and	a	wonderbra	"	much	of	the	material	is	not	even	funny	on	the	chuckle	level	.	some	gags	are	just	plain	pointless	,	such	as	roger	moore's	recurring	role	as	the	mysterious	chief	,	who	dispenses	cryptic	,	metaphor	heavy	advice	to	clifford	.	the	only	reason	why	i	can	think	anyone	would	find	that	funny	is	the	fact	that	moore	once	played	james	bond	.	ha	ha	.	as	weak	as	the	script	is	,	i	think	there's	one	insurmountable	problem	with	even	attempting	to	make	a	spice	girls	movie	,	and	that	is	the	girls	themselves	.	the	point	is	not	that	they	can't	act	(	and	,	for	the	record	,	they	really	_	can't	_	)	but	that	their	individual	personas	,	which	works	as	a	gimmick	over	the	span	of	a	four	minute	music	video	,	are	too	thin	to	survive	outside	of	the	truncated	,	video	bite	mtv	world	.	posh	(	who	garnered	the	most	enthusiastic	cheers	during	the	introductions	)	comes	off	best	by	default	because	her	persona	(	rich	bitch	)	most	easily	translates	into	character	in	a	film	.	baby's	persona	(	young	innocent	)	,	to	a	lesser	extent	,	also	works	,	but	the	remaining	girls'	identities	are	a	little	harder	to	flesh	out	.	there	really	isn't	much	to	do	with	sporty	besides	having	her	exercise	every	so	often	(	which	is	_	exactly	_	what	fuller	and	spiers	do	)	,	and	,	after	all	,	what	exactly	entails	being	"	ginger	"	or	"	scary	"	?	apparently	,	just	their	wardrobes	.	spice	world	manages	to	pick	up	some	steam	in	the	late	going	following	a	flashback	performance	of	the	spices'	signature	hit	,	"	wannabe	.	"	the	song	is	as	grating	as	ever	,	but	the	energy	of	the	number	gives	the	proceedings	a	much	needed	shot	in	the	arm	,	setting	the	stage	for	a	wave	of	self	referential	humor	stemmed	from	the	screenwriters'	film	ideas	(	the	film	almost	mirrors	robert	altman's	the	player	in	the	way	the	film	snails	into	itself	)	.	this	section	of	the	film	,	involving	all	manner	of	derring	do	involving	a	speeding	bus	,	is	perhaps	its	most	effective	,	but	it	also	points	up	how	all	the	other	storylines	(	the	publisher	,	the	documentary	crew	)	lack	a	satisfactory	payoff	.	spice	world	is	harmless	entertainment	suitable	for	the	entire	family	,	and	it	will	please	the	spice	faithful	.	but	this	sloppy	enterprise	surely	won't	win	them	any	new	fans	,	which	is	what	the	group	sorely	needs	to	bolster	its	rapidly	waning	girl	power	in	the	states	.	once	the	hype	disappears	,	spice	world	will	likely	serve	as	the	the	spices'	final	hurrah	in	america	.
neg	in	the	wake	of	the	columbine	shootings	,	there	have	been	many	discussions	on	the	effects	that	movies	have	on	our	young	society	.	the	ratings	system	is	obviously	not	well	kept	,	allowing	films	like	american	pie	,	south	park	:	bigger	longer	and	uncut	,	and	eyes	wide	shut	to	pass	with	r	ratings	.	our	television	is	also	becoming	more	and	more	violence	dominated	,	with	shows	like	pyromaniacs	caught	on	tape	and	buxom	blondes	and	their	hotels	airing	on	network	television	nightly	.	alternative	and	hard	rock	bands	are	ranking	high	on	the	charts	replacing	all	of	the	regular	sugar	choked	pop	that	normally	reigns	supreme	.	but	what	about	one	of	the	most	outrageous	bands	of	all	time	?	kiss	,	(	gene	simmons	serves	as	head	producer	)	tries	to	resurrect	their	career	in	this	movie	by	trying	to	bring	out	a	state	of	teenage	rebellion	,	but	let's	get	back	to	the	young	society	subject	.	some	politicians	are	damning	every	group	possible	(	the	gay	community	,	hollywood	,	oliver	stone	)	for	destroying	family	values	,	they	want	a	better	movie	,	tv	,	and	music	rating	system	,	some	are	even	suggesting	that	concerts	be	rated	.	there	is	one	simple	answer	to	all	of	these	issues	,	not	exploiting	any	person	on	the	face	of	the	planet	to	this	film	.	this	should	indeed	be	labeled	with	a	fair	warning	of	the	idiotic	badness	(	ok	,	bad	and	boring	word	,	i	admit	it	)	for	all	the	crude	humor	and	the	lessons	in	everything	but	the	ways	to	run	a	family	.	four	members	of	the	band	mystery	are	hanging	out	in	their	pad	in	the	seventies	and	are	getting	high	and	playing	some	good	old	fashioned	rock	and	roll	.	they	are	all	devoted	to	kiss	,	they	punish	anyone	who	likes	disco	,	and	escape	the	high	school	security	guard	on	a	regular	basis	.	when	one	of	their	mothers	discovers	her	son	sam	is	listening	to	the	devil	,	(	"	don't	you	know	what	kiss	stands	for	?	"	she	asks	,	"	knights	in	satan's	service	.	"	)	she	is	even	more	shocked	to	find	tickets	to	see	the	devil	in	the	flesh	and	torches	her	son's	tickets	in	an	instant	.	but	not	all	hope	is	lost	,	one	of	the	boys	wins	front	row	tickets	in	a	local	call	in	radio	station	and	they	decide	to	break	into	st	.	bernard's	boarding	school	where	sam	in	being	held	and	go	to	the	kiss	concert	.	on	their	way	they	lose	their	tickets	again	and	the	film	follows	each	of	their	adventures	while	trying	to	score	the	passes	.	if	i'm	correct	,	they	are	hundreds	and	hundreds	of	people	that	help	contribute	and	see	over	a	film	.	the	around	8	million	budget	didn't	make	any	of	those	hundreds	of	people	make	a	better	film	.	this	is	a	horrible	piece	of	trash	is	only	occasionally	funny	because	of	the	amount	of	risks	that	it's	willing	to	take	for	a	laugh	.	in	fact	,	edward	furlong	is	so	devoted	to	kiss	,	he	decides	to	try	and	win	a	male	stripping	contest	and	ends	up	throwing	up	an	entire	pitcher	of	alcohol	.	the	more	the	film	pushes	the	envelope	,	the	more	i	found	the	film	belonging	to	the	catergory	of	"	never	after	columbine	.	"	but	it	was	released	afterwards	,	luckily	to	a	small	audience	that	does	not	have	to	undergo	the	pain	and	anguish	that	i	experienced	.	since	this	review	is	nice	and	cheery	,	and	says	great	things	about	the	movie	,	i'm	sure	that	you'll	want	to	see	it	,	detroit	rock	city	gets	1	2	stars	.	the	young	uns	:	the	film	contains	very	strong	language	,	constant	drug	and	alcohol	use	,	horrible	attitudes	,	violence	,	lots	of	sex	scenes	,	and	brief	nudity	.	good	age	:	16	up	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	a
neg	the	1999	teen	comedy	she's	all	that	was	about	a	girl	with	no	social	life	suddenly	transformed	into	a	potential	prom	queen	.	a	full	decade	earlier	,	she's	out	of	control	was	released	.	it	was	about	a	girl	who	,	in	the	midst	of	puberty	,	is	transformed	into	a	beauty	.	the	way	both	films	approach	this	idea	differs	considerably	,	and	is	just	one	of	many	factors	separating	the	success	of	both	.	tony	danza	stars	as	a	single	father	who	goes	away	for	vacation	and	when	he	comes	back	,	his	daughter	has	blossomed	into	womanhood	,	thanks	to	the	help	of	his	henry	higgins	inspired	girlfriend	played	by	catherine	hicks	.	danza	is	not	pleased	to	see	this	,	and	spends	the	rest	of	the	movie	in	screwball	situations	trying	to	prevent	his	daughter	from	having	a	social	life	of	her	own	.	in	she's	all	that	,	it	wasn't	entirely	about	her	looks	.	the	main	idea	was	that	she	finally	started	to	come	out	of	her	shell	.	her	father	encourages	her	to	have	a	social	life	.	the	fact	that	she	looks	more	attractive	doesn't	even	come	into	play	with	him	.	there	is	something	really	disturbing	about	the	danza's	characters	attitude	about	his	daughter	.	it	seems	to	be	a	innate	fear	of	sexuality	on	behalf	of	the	filmmakers	.	or	maybe	they	just	thought	it	would	be	funny	.	in	the	case	of	the	latter	,	it's	even	worse	.	i'm	insulted	that	these	filmmakers	would	think	tony	danza	in	a	neckbrace	is	funny	.	that	very	thought	is	as	repulsive	to	me	as	anything	in	the	doom	generation	.	there	is	not	one	scene	in	this	film	that	even	approaches	humor	.	it's	not	as	if	there	are	missed	opportunities	,	the	film	can't	even	set	up	situations	where	a	laugh	would	be	possible	.	danza's	behavior	makes	him	into	a	complete	jerk	,	so	the	audience	could	barely	care	about	his	efforts	.	and	the	daughter	is	only	seen	from	danza's	perspective	,	so	there	is	no	way	we	can	warm	up	to	her	.	basically	what	we	are	left	with	is	catherine	hicks	almost	approaching	charm	.	that	would	account	for	the	half	star	.	other	than	that	,	it's	just	watching	an	old	guy	ogling	his	younger	daughter	and	trying	to	prevent	any	boys	from	getting	near	her	.	todd	solondz	should've	directed	this	.	his	approach	would've	been	much	more	interesting	.	as	it	is	,	she's	out	of	control	is	the	worst	film	of	1989	,	hands	down	.	larry	mcgillicuddy	the	cinemaniac	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	xoom	.	com	lmcgill	movpage	.	htm	"	http	:	members	.	xoom	.	com	lmcgill	movpage	.	htm	a
neg	scary	movie	2	(	2001	)	1	star	out	of	4	.	starring	shawn	wayans	,	marlon	wayans	,	anna	faris	,	regina	hall	,	chris	masterson	,	kathleen	robertson	,	james	woods	,	tim	curry	,	tori	spelling	and	chris	elliott	.	written	by	shawn	wayans	marlon	wayans	alyson	fouse	greg	grabianski	dave	polsky	michael	anthony	snowden	craig	wayans	.	directed	by	keenen	ivory	wayans	.	rated	r	.	they	should	have	stuck	to	the	promise	emblazoned	on	the	original	movie's	poster	:	"	no	sequel	.	"	scary	movie	2	is	nowhere	near	as	funny	as	its	predecessor	,	and	it	is	not	because	the	wayans	brothers	,	shawn	and	marlon	doing	the	writing	and	keenen	ivory	behind	the	camera	,	don't	try	.	what	defeats	them	is	the	genre	they	have	chosen	to	spoof	.	the	first	movie	an	outrageous	,	low	brow	,	savage	satire	of	teen	slasher	flicks	such	as	scream	and	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	succeeded	because	of	its	take	no	prisoners	attitude	toward	a	type	of	film	that	was	in	vogue	,	familiar	and	popular	.	in	scary	movie	2	,	the	filmmakers	take	on	the	haunted	house	ghost	story	format	which	,	if	you	look	at	the	grosses	for	such	recent	lame	offerings	as	the	respective	remakes	of	the	haunting	and	house	on	haunted	hill	,	did	not	draw	audiences	nor	enter	the	cultural	psyche	as	did	the	various	teen	slasher	series	.	scary	movie	2	does	start	off	promising	with	a	wonderful	spoof	of	the	exorcist	,	featuring	james	wood	in	the	max	von	sydow	role	and	veronica	cartwright	lampooning	ellen	burstyn	.	of	course	split	pea	soup	is	the	punch	line	an	overabundant	amount	,	which	offers	the	hope	that	the	rest	of	the	movie	will	be	just	as	tasteless	and	excessive	.	but	this	pre	credit	sequence	has	nothing	at	all	to	do	with	the	main	action	,	which	features	the	cast	members	from	the	original	signing	up	to	spend	a	weekend	at	a	creepy	haunted	mansion	as	part	of	a	university	class	project	.	some	of	the	jokes	are	as	scatological	and	offensive	as	in	the	original	,	but	they	lack	that	take	no	prisoners	bite	that	raised	scary	movie	to	the	heights	of	burlesque	.	scary	movie	2	merely	lurches	from	one	lame	sendup	to	another	,	offering	weak	spoofs	of	that	nike	shoe	ad	in	which	everyone	does	acrobatics	with	a	basketball	,	and	the	films	what	lies	beneath	and	hannibal	(	features	that	only	faired	adequately	at	the	box	office	)	,	john	woo's	mission	:	impossible	2	and	charlie's	angels	.	it	is	as	if	the	wayans	and	their	team	of	writers	at	least	seven	are	credited	just	threw	ideas	in	a	blender	and	hoped	they'd	coalesce	.	they	don't	.	while	the	pace	of	the	original	left	you	breathless	,	the	sequel	moves	with	the	speed	of	an	18	wheeler	carrying	two	tons	of	concrete	up	a	steep	mountain	road	.	you	can	almost	hear	the	reels	panting	.	scary	movie	2	tries	very	hard	to	live	up	to	its	original	,	but	it	falls	very	short	.	it's	a	dissatisfying	spectacle	,	a	very	weak	sister	of	a	very	good	movie	.	the	really	scary	aspect	of	this	sequel	is	how	disappointing	it	really	is	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	.	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
neg	corky	romano	(	2001	)	.	1	4	star	out	of	4	.	starring	chris	kattan	,	vinessa	shaw	,	peter	falk	,	peter	berg	,	chris	penn	,	fred	ward	,	richard	roundtree	,	matthrew	glave	,	roger	fan	and	david	sheridan	.	written	by	david	garrett	jason	ward	.	directed	by	rob	pritts	.	rated	pg	13	.	approx	.	88	minutes	.	it's	too	bad	.	i	was	all	set	to	blame	lorne	michaels	for	another	comedic	disaster	starring	a	saturday	night	live	cast	member	when	i	noticed	michaels	name	does	not	appear	anywhere	in	the	credits	.	ok	,	lorne	,	you're	off	the	hook	for	this	one	.	but	someone	needs	to	take	the	blame	for	foisting	corky	romano	on	an	unsuspecting	public	.	corky	romano	stars	chris	kattan	,	one	of	the	less	than	funny	snl	cast	members	,	in	a	movie	that	hardly	qualifies	as	a	comedy	.	heck	,	it	hardly	qualifies	as	a	motion	picture	.	corky	romano	is	an	embarrassment	,	a	sloppy	,	sophomoric	feature	.	kattan	plays	corky	as	a	combination	jerry	lewis	jim	carrey	kind	of	manchild	;	a	naive	innocent	,	kind	of	spastic	,	an	uncoordinated	idiot	.	he	is	an	assistant	veterinarian	as	well	as	the	outcast	,	youngest	son	of	a	reputed	crime	lord	,	"	pops	"	romano	(	peter	falk	)	.	corky	is	drafted	by	the	family	to	infiltrate	the	fbi	and	retrieve	whatever	evidence	the	bureau	has	on	his	dad	.	of	course	it	is	all	implausible	nonsense	,	made	moreso	by	the	incompetence	of	kattan's	corky	,	who	acts	as	if	he	can't	even	tie	his	shoelaces	.	but	,	only	in	the	movies	,	through	a	crooked	computer	hacker	corky	is	renamed	corky	pissant	and	is	a	full	fledged	fbi	operative	,	skilled	in	five	languages	,	an	olympic	marksman	and	just	a	superman	among	crimefighters	.	it	numbs	the	mind	to	think	that	screenwriters	david	garrett	and	jason	ward	have	such	contempt	for	their	audience	that	they	believe	any	intelligent	fbi	official	would	believe	a	klutzy	,	nerd	such	as	corky	is	a	special	agent	.	it's	insulting	and	contemptible	.	the	screenwriters'	plot	is	predictable	;	everything	can	be	foretold	a	reel	or	three	before	it	happens	.	they	don't	create	any	characters	,	just	throw	us	familiar	types	.	illogical	and	implausible	situations	abound	throughout	.	corky	romano	is	not	funny	and	lacks	any	comedic	pacing	.	plus	kattan	can't	carry	the	movie	.	he	is	funny	in	small	spurts	,	but	he	does	not	have	the	presence	or	weight	to	bolster	a	feature	length	venture	.	it	is	sad	to	see	a	great	actor	such	as	falk	reduced	to	playing	such	a	stereotypical	character	,	nor	is	there	anything	funny	about	illiteracy	nor	homosexuality	,	two	areas	the	writers	unsuccessfully	try	to	mine	for	humor	,	but	come	up	with	only	pyrite	.	the	only	good	that	may	come	from	this	entire	folly	is	to	give	lorne	michaels	second	thoughts	about	mounting	any	features	based	on	some	of	kattan's	snl	characters	.	corky	romano	is	for	the	dogs	,	it	stinks	.	it's	about	as	funny	as	road	kill	.	so	,	i'd	advise	you	to	swerve	around	it	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
neg	cast	:	cristian	slater	,	morgan	freeman	,	randy	quaid	,	minnie	driver	,	edward	asner	,	mark	rolston	,	richard	dysart	,	betty	white	,	henry	sears	,	wayne	duvall	director	:	mikael	salomon	producers	:	ian	bryce	,	mark	gordon	,	gary	levinsohn	screenplay	:	graham	yost	cinematography	:	peter	menzies	jr	.	music	:	christopher	young	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	paramount	pictures	all	through	its	production	and	into	the	early	days	of	its	initial	,	aborted	pre	release	publicity	,	hard	rain	bore	the	appropriate	moniker	of	the	flood	.	ultimately	,	however	,	paramount	pictures	,	nervous	that	this	movie	would	be	confused	with	1996's	other	,	underperforming	disaster	films	(	dante's	peak	,	volcano	)	,	changed	the	title	and	shifted	the	release	date	by	nearly	a	year	.	but	,	to	paraphrase	the	bard	,	swill	,	by	any	other	name	,	would	smell	as	rank	.	no	number	of	name	changes	can	help	this	picture	.	it's	not	just	about	a	disaster	,	it	is	a	disaster	.	hard	rain	is	the	case	of	a	movie	that	gets	progressively	worse	with	every	passing	minute	.	the	best	shot	occurs	during	the	opening	credits	,	as	the	camera	pans	over	the	streets	and	byways	of	huntingburg	,	indiana	as	the	water	level	slowly	rises	.	the	community	,	protected	by	an	overworked	dam	,	is	being	evacuated	as	the	rain	continues	to	pour	relentlessly	from	the	cloud	choked	skies	.	from	that	moment	on	,	it's	all	downhill	.	whatever	initial	entertainment	value	the	film	possesses	has	long	since	drained	away	by	the	halfway	point	.	it	takes	forever	to	get	to	the	end	credits	this	is	one	of	the	longest	seeming	95	minute	motion	pictures	i	have	recently	endured	.	basically	,	hard	rain	is	one	extended	,	dull	chase	sequence	punctuated	by	occasional	shoot	outs	.	there's	a	lot	of	water	,	broken	glass	,	gunfire	,	and	explosions	.	it's	all	very	routine	and	uninteresting	because	there	aren't	any	real	characters	and	the	plot	only	occasionally	makes	sense	.	the	film's	conclusion	is	so	preposterous	that	it's	almost	worth	watching	for	the	sheer	masochistic	enjoyment	of	seeing	the	monumentally	idiotic	way	that	the	film	makers	decide	to	resolve	the	myriad	subplots	that	are	floating	around	.	action	films	are	supposed	to	become	progressively	more	invigorating	as	they	rush	towards	a	conclusion	.	graham	yost	,	the	writer	of	both	speed	and	hard	rain	,	surely	understands	that	principle	.	unfortunately	,	neither	he	,	nor	cinematographer	turned	director	mikael	salomon	(	a	far	off	place	)	,	applies	it	.	the	action	in	hard	rain	grows	tedious	through	repetition	.	we	see	the	same	kinds	of	things	speedboat	chases	,	flood	damage	,	shoot	outs	,	etc	.	over	and	over	again	.	the	movie	constantly	recycles	about	twenty	minutes	worth	of	material	to	pad	the	running	time	out	to	an	acceptable	movie	length	.	the	storyline	gives	us	a	number	of	paper	thin	characters	in	contrived	circumstances	.	there's	tom	(	christian	slater	)	,	the	one	dimensional	action	hero	who	works	as	a	security	guard	driving	an	armored	car	full	of	cash	.	he	and	his	partner	,	charlie	(	edward	asner	,	tv's	"	lou	grant	"	)	,	get	stuck	on	a	street	that's	rapidly	turning	into	a	river	.	a	group	of	men	,	led	by	jimmy	(	morgan	freeman	)	,	arrive	on	the	scene	not	as	rescuers	but	as	robbers	.	after	charlie	is	killed	in	a	shoot	out	,	tom	hides	the	money	,	then	runs	.	as	he	swims	and	boats	his	way	through	huntingburg's	roads	,	he	encounters	some	of	the	locals	:	karen	(	minnie	driver	)	,	a	would	be	love	interest	;	a	bickering	old	couple	(	richard	dysart	and	betty	white	)	,	who	are	on	hand	to	provide	comic	relief	;	and	the	easily	corrupted	sheriff	(	randy	quaid	)	,	whose	seeming	helpfulness	hides	sinister	ulterior	motives	.	there	isn't	any	real	acting	in	this	film	.	christian	slater	utters	a	few	lame	one	liners	and	does	a	lot	of	mugging	for	the	camera	.	tom	is	easily	one	of	the	most	lifeless	characters	the	actor	has	brought	to	the	screen	.	randy	quaid	sneers	a	lot	,	and	is	totally	unconvincing	.	morgan	freeman	and	minnie	driver	both	attempt	to	give	legitimate	performances	,	but	they	are	defeated	by	the	script	.	freeman	,	one	of	the	best	cinematic	thespians	working	today	,	looks	suitably	embarrassed	to	be	here	,	but	i	suppose	everyone	needs	a	good	paycheck	from	time	to	time	.	following	in	the	wake	of	twister	,	this	is	yet	another	natural	disaster	movie	that	doesn't	trust	nature's	fury	as	the	chief	engine	of	conflict	.	as	a	result	,	we	are	saddled	with	an	idiotic	good	guys	bad	guys	story	that	effectively	ruins	any	potential	that	the	flood	tale	could	have	had	.	titanic	proved	that	there	can	be	a	wealth	of	drama	in	a	movie	where	everything	goes	under	water	.	hard	rain	successfully	demonstrates	that	the	opposite	is	equally	possible	.	thus	far	this	year	,	hollywood	has	already	subjected	us	to	its	unique	brand	of	moronic	mayhem	by	fire	(	firestorm	)	and	water	(	hard	rain	)	.	fortunately	,	there	are	only	two	elements	left	.
neg	the	real	blonde	(	r	)	1	2	(	out	of	)	a	woman's	face	,	an	arm	,	some	pumped	up	pectorals	,	blond	hair	,	a	man's	sad	face	,	slender	legs	,	a	random	hand	here	and	there	.	as	the	opening	credits	of	tom	dicillo's	the	real	blonde	unfold	,	these	scattered	,	fractured	glimpses	eventually	come	together	to	form	the	image	of	a	bikini	brief	clad	man	on	his	knees	clinging	to	a	nurturing	woman	,	his	head	concealing	her	unclothed	breasts	.	if	only	the	rest	of	this	formless	,	aimless	ensemble	comedy	assembled	so	coherently	.	joe	(	matthew	modine	)	is	a	waiter	struggling	actor	too	proud	to	take	gigs	in	commercials	or	soap	operas	.	he's	feeling	somewhat	dissatisfied	with	his	relationship	with	his	live	in	love	,	mary	(	catherine	keener	)	,	who	holds	some	subconscious	hostility	toward	the	male	gender	.	mary	,	a	makeup	artist	,	regularly	works	on	model	sahara	(	bridgette	wilson	)	,	who	is	obsessed	with	the	underlying	messages	in	disney's	the	little	mermaid	.	the	bottle	blonde	has	a	turbulent	on	again	,	off	again	relationship	with	bob	(	maxwell	caulfield	)	,	a	soap	actor	who	yearns	for	the	taste	of	a	real	blonde	,	which	he	finds	in	co	star	kelly	(	daryl	hannah	)	.	as	the	film	unspools	,	a	variety	of	other	characters	pass	through	:	fashion	photographer	blair	(	marlo	thomas	)	;	mary's	shrink	(	buck	henry	)	and	self	defense	instructor	(	denis	leary	)	;	joe's	casting	agent	(	kathleen	turner	)	and	hardass	boss	(	christopher	lloyd	)	;	and	a	mystery	woman	(	elizabeth	berkley	)	who	keeps	on	crossing	joe's	path	.	where	exactly	does	all	this	go	?	that's	a	question	best	posed	to	writer	director	dicillo	,	who	doesn't	appear	to	have	the	slightest	clue	himself	.	his	meandering	,	largely	unfunny	script	and	direction	are	like	hopelessly	lost	drivers	,	turning	into	dead	end	narrative	streets	only	to	reverse	course	and	hit	another	creative	cul	de	sac	.	and	another	.	and	another	.	at	one	point	bob	,	frustrated	with	the	soap	scripts	,	complains	to	the	head	writer	(	jim	fyfe	)	that	his	and	kelly's	characters	keep	on	going	in	circles	,	with	no	hint	of	development	or	growth	.	that	is	most	certainly	the	case	here	.	joe	gets	a	job	and	ultimately	botches	things	;	he	and	mary	bicker	;	they	make	up	,	only	to	have	the	pattern	repeat	itself	.	unhappy	with	his	bottle	blonde	,	bob	gets	his	real	blonde	but	is	unsatisfied	;	he	returns	to	the	faux	and	is	still	unsatisfied	.	if	there	is	a	point	to	all	of	this	,	dicillo	dances	around	it	,	spending	his	time	on	apparent	digressions	that	,	as	it	turns	out	,	aren't	digressions	at	all	.	the	real	blonde	is	not	without	some	amusements	.	it	does	have	the	occasional	funny	line	and	situation	;	leary	,	henry	,	lloyd	,	steve	buscemi	,	and	dave	chappelle	shine	in	their	small	roles	;	keener	is	a	likable	,	refreshingly	earthy	lead	;	berkley's	appearance	is	mercifully	brief	(	she	receives	outrageously	prominent	billing	and	ad	placement	for	a	ten	minute	role	)	;	and	there	is	the	irony	of	having	caulfield	play	a	wildly	popular	soap	star	who	makes	the	ratings	skyrocket	(	last	year	,	the	actor	was	fired	from	the	daytime	drama	all	my	children	after	a	scant	six	months	due	to	lack	of	viewer	interest	)	.	but	on	the	whole	,	the	real	blonde	is	a	frustrating	sit	that	lives	up	to	the	stereotypes	of	its	title	it	may	be	glossy	on	the	surface	,	but	there's	nothing	going	on	inside	.	(	opens	february	27	)
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	news	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	so	what	do	you	get	when	you	mix	together	plot	elements	from	various	successful	sci	fi	films	such	as	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	,	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	,	apollo	13	and	contact	?	well	,	whatever	it	is	,	you'd	sure	as	hell	hope	that	it	would	be	a	thousand	times	better	than	this	shoddy	attempt	at	such	a	melange	,	considering	the	disastrous	results	we're	left	with	here	.	this	is	a	film	that	takes	a	little	bit	of	everything	,	but	ultimately	adds	up	to	a	lot	of	nothing	!	it's	like	i	said	.	.	.	this	movie	sucks	.	plot	:	a	rescue	crew	of	astronauts	is	sent	down	to	mars	in	the	year	2020	,	after	an	unknown	energy	force	leads	to	a	loss	of	contact	with	the	previous	gang	of	space	aviators	to	visit	the	red	planet	.	critique	:	extremely	underwhelming	is	the	best	way	to	describe	this	movie	.	uneven	,	would	be	another	.	the	trailer	for	this	movie	actually	showed	some	promise	,	the	buzz	around	it	had	been	so	so	,	and	even	the	film	itself	starts	off	with	a	decent	first	twenty	minutes	,	all	leading	you	to	believe	that	it's	actually	going	to	go	"	somewhere	"	.	but	it	isn't	long	before	the	entire	movie	downshifts	into	neutral	,	features	more	space	walks	than	anything	interesting	on	the	cherry	colored	planet	,	tries	too	hard	to	get	us	into	the	"	pain	"	of	some	its	characters	and	unsuccessfully	tosses	some	romance	into	the	mix	.	in	a	sci	fi	movie	?	well	,	i	don't	know	,	much	of	it	just	seemed	like	a	bunch	of	nerdies	talking	techie	jargon	for	about	an	hour	and	a	half	,	only	to	figure	out	some	big	secret	in	the	end	,	a	secret	which	practically	had	me	yawning	with	excitement	.	ultimately	,	this	is	a	movie	that	starts	off	with	a	decent	premise	,	joins	the	crew	in	their	"	misadventures	in	space	"	for	the	main	crux	of	its	journey	,	and	eventually	settles	down	for	one	of	the	most	anti	climactic	endings	this	side	of	contact	.	mind	you	,	if	you	enjoyed	that	film's	shrug	of	the	shoulders	ending	,	you	might	just	enjoy	this	frivolous	ditty	as	well	.	of	course	,	i	don't	remember	contact	having	such	obvious	and	painfully	distracting	computer	generated	effects	at	its	end	of	story	.	ugh	.	what	a	friggin'	mess	.	films	like	this	generally	get	me	wondering	about	the	brass	in	hollywood	again	.	didn't	anybody	recognize	the	crappiness	in	this	script	?	didn't	they	read	the	bad	dialogue	,	the	cheezy	lines	,	the	obvious	derivative	nature	of	the	work	(	mind	you	,	with	a	director	like	depalma	at	the	helm	,	that	ain't	saying	much	!	)	.	of	course	,	you	can't	really	blame	the	brass	for	the	inclusion	of	jerry	o'connell	in	this	fine	crew	of	thespians	.	'nuff	said	.	neither	can	you	blame	them	for	depalma	cranking	up	the	juice	on	the	film's	musical	score	during	the	last	fifteen	minutes	,	presumably	in	order	to	wake	the	audience	up	(	okay	,	we	get	it	brian	,	this	scene	is	supposed	to	be	powerful	.	.	.	wow	.	.	.	yawn	.	.	.	my	ears	hurt	!	)	.	so	is	anything	salvageable	in	this	movie	?	sure	.	gary	sinise	does	another	great	job	,	as	does	cheadle	,	the	film	doesn't	completely	bore	you	as	much	as	it	just	moves	along	slowly	without	anything	really	interesting	happening	,	and	yes	,	the	"	sand	twister	"	effect	that	you	see	in	the	commercial	is	well	done	.	other	than	that	?	i	guess	i	could	say	that	i	admire	how	filmmakers	have	become	so	much	more	devious	in	their	product	placement	strategies	.	.	.	oops	,	did	i	say	"	admire	"	,	i	meant	"	am	disgusted	"	!	all	in	all	,	this	movie	delivers	very	little	in	actual	substance	,	offers	two	bit	dialogue	masked	in	a	lot	of	sci	fi	mumbo	jumbo	,	pretends	to	be	deep	when	really	it's	just	sappy	,	and	eventually	just	settles	into	an	ending	which	,	other	than	presenting	us	with	a	pathetic	computer	graphic	as	a	part	of	the	story	,	gives	us	little	more	to	think	about	than	how	we	might	be	able	to	get	our	money	back	for	sitting	through	this	rehashed	dreck	.	go	see	the	ninth	gate	.	.	.	now	there's	a	great	movie	!	and	on	a	personal	note	,	i	think	it's	time	for	depalma	to	stop	worrying	so	much	about	his	proverbial	12	minute	uninterrupted	film	sequences	,	and	start	worrying	more	about	how	crappy	his	movies	are	getting	.
neg	(	dreamworks	skg	)	running	time	:	2	hours	starring	robert	duvall	,	tea	leoni	and	elijah	wood	directed	by	mimi	leder	the	first	of	the	two	asteroid	movies	coming	out	this	year	(	the	second	is	the	macho	armageddon	)	is	actually	a	dull	affair	.	elijah	wood	plays	leo	biederman	,	who	during	astronomy	class	discovers	that	a	large	asteroid	is	heading	for	earth	.	tea	leoni	plays	a	(	rather	crap	)	news	reporter	,	jenny	lerner	,	who	soon	discovers	about	this	asteroid	through	a	very	long	winded	and	boring	way	,	and	robert	duvall	plays	the	leader	of	a	space	crew	,	spurgeon	tanner	,	who	are	planning	to	blow	the	asteroid	out	of	the	path	of	earth	.	also	featuring	is	morgan	freeman	as	the	president	,	and	maximilian	schell	and	vanessa	redgrave	as	jenny's	father	and	mother	.	while	many	people	will	walk	into	the	film	expecting	a	big	special	effects	fest	with	the	asteroid	blowing	everything	up	(	as	the	trailers	seem	to	promise	)	,	the	film	is	actually	more	of	a	character	study	,	if	a	very	poor	one	.	the	main	problem	is	that	there	are	too	many	characters	in	the	film	,	and	not	enough	time	to	explore	them	all	.	only	the	space	crew	are	given	any	depth	,	jenny	lerner	,	leo	and	the	president	are	surprisingly	2d	,	and	we	never	get	to	know	these	characters	.	and	because	i	couldn't	care	for	them	,	i	didn't	really	give	a	crap	if	the	asteroid	killed	them	or	not	.	the	script	by	bruce	joel	rubin	and	michael	tolkin	is	horribly	simple	,	and	never	really	makes	any	interesting	statements	.	mimi	leder	,	the	former	er	director	and	director	of	the	average	the	peacemaker	(	1996	)	,	again	directs	in	a	ho	hum	style	,	and	never	really	gets	any	emotion	out	of	a	scene	,	which	is	a	shame	.	the	cast	are	seemingly	on	autopilot	,	although	tea	leoni	does	gives	a	rather	good	performance	,	even	if	she	acts	a	bit	too	dorky	for	her	own	good	.	she	seems	uncommonly	stupid	for	a	journalist	.	robert	duvall	is	on	autopilot	with	a	underwritten	role	,	he	just	seems	to	be	in	this	film	for	the	money	.	elijah	wood	,	one	of	the	best	child	actors	working	today	,	is	surprisingly	average	,	although	his	choice	of	roles	lately	haven't	exactly	been	brilliant	(	i	.	e	.	flipper	,	1996	)	.	his	role	is	also	vastly	underwritten	.	morgan	freeman	,	again	,	is	utterly	wasted	with	a	ridiculously	underwritten	role	.	like	duvall	,	he	just	seems	to	be	in	the	film	for	the	money	.	the	supporting	cast	are	all	o	.	k	,	none	making	much	of	an	impression	.	ok	,	so	deep	impact	may	have	messed	up	character	wise	,	but	surely	the	special	effects	are	good	?	well	,	yes	and	no	.	although	the	special	effects	should	be	impressive	,	with	a	massive	tidal	wave	destroying	new	york	,	the	special	effects	look	like	,	well	,	special	effects	.	sadly	,	the	waves	looks	like	it's	been	drawn	on	computer	,	and	doesn't	look	too	good	at	all	.	surprising	really	,	when	the	effects	are	done	by	industrial	light	magic	,	who	did	the	effects	for	the	lost	world	and	twister	.	in	the	end	,	deep	impact	is	a	wasted	opportunity	.	what	could	of	been	a	moving	movie	with	good	effects	turns	out	to	be	a	dud	in	both	characters	and	effects	.	the	2	hours	the	film	had	could	have	been	used	to	much	greater	effect	.	once	again	,	dreamworks	has	churned	out	another	average	movie	.	let's	hope	armageddon	is	a	bit	better	.	overall	rating	out	of	review	by	david	wilcock	web	space	provided	by	geocities	david	wilcock	a	href	"	mailto	:	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	"	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	a	visit	the	wilcock	movie	page	!	a	href	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	a	recieve	wilcock	movie	page	reviews	via	e	mail	send	a	blank	e	mail	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	"	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	a	to	join	the	mailing	list	!
neg	in	the	mid	1980s	,	following	the	splendid	debut	in	hugh	hudson's	greystoke	and	relative	success	of	first	highlander	film	,	it	looked	like	christopher	lambert's	acting	career	might	go	somewhere	.	but	,	it	wasn't	meant	to	be	,	which	became	obvious	following	highlander	ii	.	in	this	decade	christopher	lambert	became	associated	with	films	with	low	budgets	and	even	lower	quality	.	very	often	such	films	were	science	fiction	,	which	meant	that	the	fans	of	that	genre	learned	the	hard	way	what	to	evade	anything	starring	christopher	lambert	.	whether	it	was	because	of	real	lack	of	talent	,	terrible	miscasting	or	simple	bad	luck	isn't	important	the	end	result	was	almost	always	horrible	.	the	same	can	be	said	for	fortress	,	1993	science	fiction	film	directed	by	stuart	gordon	,	director	who	created	cult	following	with	his	1980s	horror	gorefests	like	reanimator	and	from	beyond	.	the	movie	is	set	in	2018	.	for	some	undisclosed	reason	,	usa	introduced	strict	population	control	and	couples	are	barred	from	having	more	than	one	child	.	jake	(	christopher	lambert	)	and	karen	brennick	(	lori	laughlin	)	broke	that	law	and	are	caught	by	authorities	on	the	border	.	sentenced	to	31	years	in	prison	,	they	are	both	thrown	into	fortress	,	privately	owned	correctional	facility	,	equiped	with	state	of	the	art	futuristic	technology	and	run	by	computer	called	zed	.	although	equiped	with	gismos	that	regulate	every	aspect	of	inmates'	lives	and	make	any	escape	impossible	,	prison	authorities	often	use	violence	.	jake	survives	many	ordeals	and	earns	respect	of	some	inmates	which	would	help	him	when	he	begins	planing	the	escape	.	such	escape	should	become	necessity	,	because	the	warden	poe	(	kurtwood	smith	)	begins	showing	unhealthy	interest	in	karen	.	after	rather	intriguing	beginning	and	some	interesting	special	effects	that	depict	the	futuristic	settings	of	prison	,	this	film	soon	starts	sinking	into	mediocrity	.	the	reason	is	in	the	screenplay	that	quickly	degenerates	into	whole	series	of	prison	movie	clichs	and	situations	that	are	painfully	predictable	.	by	the	time	brennick	begins	his	escape	from	fortress	,	those	situations	not	only	begin	to	look	predictable	,	but	utterly	implausible	too	.	of	course	,	film	never	tried	to	explain	why	the	country	that	lacks	resources	to	support	its	present	population	happens	to	spend	bucketloads	of	money	on	ultra	expensive	supertechnology	with	sole	intention	of	keeping	alive	most	useless	and	dangerous	members	of	the	society	.	the	initially	interesting	plot	is	done	even	more	wrong	by	stereotyped	characters	,	played	by	not	too	interested	or	talented	actors	.	lori	laughlin	,	although	physically	attractive	,	shows	the	acting	ability	of	sequoia	.	kurtwood	smith	as	prison	warden	is	rather	uninspired	,	capable	of	solid	,	yet	forgettable	performance	.	lambert's	performance	is	also	good	,	but	even	the	bigger	talent	couldn't	help	this	film	,	destined	to	end	in	oblivion	.
neg	the	only	thing	worse	than	a	bad	sequel	is	a	bad	remake	.	bad	remakes	are	worse	because	they	lower	the	integrity	of	the	original	film	somewhat	and	if	anyone	ever	tries	to	remake	'citizen	kane'	,	'the	godfather'	or	'star	wars'	they	will	certainly	fail	.	a	remake	of	the	1968	film	'the	thomas	crown	affair'	directed	by	norman	jewison	probably	sounded	like	a	good	idea	at	the	time	but	who	knew	things	could	go	so	wrong	.	the	original	starred	steve	mcqueen	and	faye	dunaway	and	this	remake	is	with	pierce	brosnan	and	rene	russo	.	brosnan	is	a	corporate	big	shot	named	thomas	crown	in	new	york	city	who	has	a	passion	for	antique	paintings	.	he	also	likes	to	steal	them	.	not	for	the	cash	but	for	the	sheer	pleasure	of	having	them	hang	in	his	home	.	his	latest	fancy	is	a	painting	worth	one	hundred	million	dollars	.	after	scooping	it	up	,	he	becomes	the	prime	suspect	of	an	investigation	headed	by	an	insurance	investigator	named	catherine	banning	(	rene	russo	)	and	she	works	with	the	nyc	police	department	who	,	at	first	,	refuse	to	believe	he	is	a	suspect	in	the	crime	.	'the	thomas	crown	affair'	takes	a	familiar	path	into	the	silly	and	downright	unbelievable	as	it	makes	crown	the	only	intelligent	man	in	the	film	and	russo	is	the	only	other	person	in	the	film	with	similar	intelligence	.	all	the	other	characters	in	the	film	,	the	police	,	the	museum	security	and	anyone	else	involved	in	the	case	are	made	to	look	like	bumbling	idiots	who	can't	do	anything	right	.	to	further	bother	the	frequent	movie	goer	,	the	film	has	banning	falling	for	the	man	she's	supposed	to	be	investigating	.	whether	or	not	a	remake	should	incorporate	things	found	in	the	original	is	beside	the	point	.	i	have	always	found	john	mctiernan	to	be	a	director	better	suited	to	action	films	than	anything	else	.	having	done	the	first	and	third	installments	in	the	'die	hard'	trilogy	along	with	'predator'	made	mctiernan	a	formidable	director	of	action	.	he	is	not	suited	for	dialogue	layered	pictures	where	interaction	and	sub	text	are	needed	.	his	films	become	shallow	in	this	regard	.	mctiernan	tries	to	inject	a	little	antic	he	used	in	'die	hard'	.	there's	a	scene	in	'the	thomas	crown	affair'	where	he	has	brosnan	use	those	little	explosive	hockey	puck	devices	that	explode	and	create	lots	of	smoke	that	develop	a	diversion	to	the	scene	.	one	thing	that	really	bothered	me	about	'the	thomas	crown	affair'	was	the	downright	staging	of	the	whole	thing	.	getting	actors	to	say	their	lines	in	a	convincing	way	is	not	easy	and	it's	made	even	more	complicated	by	the	fact	that	it	doesn't	help	to	mumble	.	have	you	ever	seen	those	programs	about	"	the	making	of	"	a	certain	film	where	you	see	the	actors	on	the	set	talking	between	takes	either	to	each	other	or	to	the	audience	and	there	is	a	lot	of	noise	around	that	drowns	out	what	they're	saying	so	it	isn't	totally	clear	?	that's	a	large	part	of	this	film	and	many	of	the	scenes	look	as	if	they've	been	done	with	only	a	couple	of	takes	.	pierce	brosnan	is	one	of	those	actors	who's	only	tailor	made	for	a	certain	role	and	his	latest	attempts	at	portraying	007	james	bond	have	been	good	ones	but	his	attempts	at	anything	else	have	been	mediocre	at	best	.	rene	russo	has	also	been	bitten	somewhat	by	the	stereotype	bug	.	after	turns	in	two	'lethal	weapon'	films	and	a	stint	as	a	secret	service	agent	in	'in	the	line	of	fire'	in	1993	,	not	to	mention	starring	opposite	a	primate	in	'buddy'	have	given	her	few	qualifications	to	star	in	a	remake	of	a	classic	motion	picture	.	maybe	she	and	brosnan	should	do	a	sequel	to	'the	blue	lagoon'	.	it	couldn't	be	much	worse	than	this	film	.
neg	it	is	rare	that	a	great	actress	(	garofalo	)	will	make	two	really	bad	movies	,	back	to	back	.	it	is	even	rarer	that	those	two	movies	will	premiere	on	the	same	day	.	and	what	are	the	odds	that	those	two	films	will	star	brothers	(	eg	.	luke	wilson	in	this	movie	and	owen	wilson	in	the	minus	man	)	?	according	to	my	astrologer	numerologist	,	it's	an	18	billion	to	one	shot	.	and	yet	it	happened	here	,	when	two	of	the	worst	films	to	grace	the	silver	screen	have	been	star	crossed	in	this	conflagration	of	irony	.	there's	very	little	worth	writing	about	in	dog	park	.	ex	kid	in	the	hall	bruce	mcculloch	wrote	,	directed	,	and	starred	in	this	paean	to	canines	,	where	a	bunch	of	singles	in	what	looks	like	boston	meet	around	the	local	dog	park	and	embark	on	a	romantic	affair	here	and	there	.	central	to	this	epic	saga	are	lorna	(	henstridge	,	looking	really	bizarre	with	a	short	hairdo	)	and	andy	(	wilson	,	playing	dumb	,	as	he	did	in	home	fries	)	.	garofalo	and	mcculloch	make	another	couple	,	and	various	other	people	intersect	the	four	romantically	,	all	with	very	little	in	the	way	of	a	point	or	anything	funny	and	with	zero	chemistry	in	the	entire	lot	.	as	a	fan	of	kids	in	the	hall	,	'	this	is	quite	a	disappointment	.	of	course	,	brain	candy	,	mcculloch's	other	writing	credit	,	wasn't	a	whole	lot	better	.	and	watch	for	superstar	,	mcculloch's	next	directorial	outing	,	next	week	.	a	couple	of	one	liners	here	and	there	,	and	a	notable	supporting	role	by	mckinney	as	a	dog	trainer	psychologist	earn	dog	park	its	half	a	star	,	but	believe	me	,	these	93	minutes	feel	like	an	eternity	with	nary	a	laugh	to	be	heard	.	not	convinced	yet	?	here's	the	teaser	copy	from	dog	park's	web	site	:	i	think	andy	starts	to	fall	in	love	with	lorna	when	she	pukes	on	him	.	'
neg	1	2	out	of	(	poor	,	but	has	some	good	moments	)	.	directed	by	martin	lawrence	,	written	by	martin	lawrence	,	bentley	kyle	evans	,	kenny	buford	,	kim	bass	,	produced	by	martin	lawrence	.	cast	:	martin	lawrence	(	darnell	wright	)	,	lynn	whitfield	(	brandi	web	)	,	regina	king	(	mia	wilkins	)	,	bobby	brown	(	tee	)	,	della	reese	(	momma	wright	)	the	main	problem	with	martin	lawrence's	pet	project	,	a	thin	line	between	love	and	hate	,	like	any	fatal	attraction	variation	where	the	protagonist	is	a	man	,	is	that	his	character	is	an	irresponsible	jerk	,	and	if	that	is	the	case	,	it	doesn't	seem	to	do	anything	except	justify	the	woman's	actions	.	that	is	especially	the	case	in	lawrence's	darnell	wright	.	he	is	one	of	those	macho	guys	with	women	lined	up	a	mile	long	.	now	don't	think	i	condone	this	just	because	i'm	male	.	my	philosophy	is	,	if	you	are	one	of	the	few	heterosexual	males	lucky	enough	to	get	your	hands	on	a	beautiful	,	kind	girl	,	you	should	treat	her	like	a	princess	and	respect	her	.	darnell	doesn't	think	like	this	.	he	sleeps	with	these	girls	once	and	dumps	them	.	and	by	the	period	in	the	film	he	discovered	that	his	newest	target	,	beautiful	,	wealthy	brandi	web	(	played	nicely	by	whitfield	)	who	runs	a	successful	real	estate	business	,	is	out	to	kill	him	for	dumping	her	for	his	childdhood	friend	mia	(	king	)	,	i	found	myself	thinking	,	"	i'm	supposed	to	feel	sorry	for	this	guy	?	"	after	all	,	it	is	largely	darnell's	fault	.	if	he	is	lining	up	all	these	women	,	you'd	think	he'd	have	enough	common	sense	to	think	it	would	backfire	on	him	one	day	,	as	his	mother	says	it	does	.	but	he	doesn't	,	so	you	get	the	sense	that	he's	not	only	irresponsible	,	but	also	pretty	dumb	.	you	especially	get	this	sense	that	he's	dumb	after	brandi	tells	him	she	killed	her	husband	for	allegedly	abusing	her	.	(	i'd	put	my	pants	on	in	two	seconds	after	that	!	)	now	,	brandi	is	a	psycho	bitch	,	but	it's	hard	not	to	agree	with	what	she	says	to	darnell	during	the	finale	about	guys	like	him	treating	her	like	garbage	.	one	final	flaw	,	though	,	is	letting	brandi	fall	for	darnell	to	begin	with	.	brandi	is	a	classy	,	intelligent	woman	with	an	mba	from	harvard	,	who	initally	resists	darnell's	"	immature	play	"	as	she	calls	it	,	as	any	woman	like	her	would	in	real	life	.	but	all	of	a	sudden	she	says	yes	.	but	when	you	listen	to	darnell's	four	letter	word	vocabulary	watch	his	actions	,	you	wonder	why	such	an	intelligent	woman	would	fall	for	a	guy	like	darnell	period	,	much	less	have	such	an	unhealthy	obsession	for	him	!	lawrence	can	be	good	when	he	wants	to	,	but	in	order	to	prove	it	,	he	needs	to	let	other	people	write	and	direct	his	movies	.	look	at	this	movie	.	four	writers	,	as	a	result	it's	too	long	(	two	hours	,	when	it	could've	easily	worked	at	ninety	minutes	!	)	and	it	has	a	lot	of	subplots	and	characters	that	appear	and	disappear	as	quickly	as	they	came	(	which	makes	me	think	the	writers	didn't	get	along	)	,	all	of	which	isn't	necessary	.	there	are	some	bright	spots	,	though	.	whitfield	,	regina	king	,	della	reese	,	and	bobby	brown	all	do	what	they	can	with	lazily	written	parts	,	and	they	help	it	out	a	lot	.	and	there	are	some	funny	parts	(	like	,	for	example	,	the	scene	where	reese	attempts	to	fight	whitfeld	for	harrassing	her	son	and	damaging	her	property	)	,	but	they're	just	not	enough	to	sustain	the	film	.
neg	this	is	the	movie	that	could	single	handedly	bring	"	mystery	science	theater	3000	"	out	of	cancellation	.	it's	one	of	those	movies	that's	so	bad	it's	absolutely	hilarious	,	due	in	no	small	part	to	its	big	star	,	supermodel	cindy	crawford	.	if	you	only	remember	one	thing	about	fair	game	,	it	should	be	that	it	singlehandedly	proves	crawford	should	stick	to	the	sports	illustrated	swimsuit	issues	.	if	you	thought	kathy	ireland	was	laughable	in	alien	from	l	.	a	.	,	you'll	change	your	mind	when	you	see	fair	game	.	ireland	would	win	handfuls	of	oscars	if	this	was	her	only	competition	.	in	a	real	casting	coup	,	crawford	plays	a	super	intelligent	lawyer	(	in	a	jogging	bra	,	of	course	)	.	we	all	know	this	is	a	stretch	,	the	only	legal	opinion	crawford	has	ever	put	forth	being	that	she	favors	the	death	penalty	for	anyone	who	wears	white	after	labor	day	.	nonetheless	,	someone	out	there	thought	she'd	make	a	good	lawyer	,	but	we're	reminded	of	her	true	function	in	the	movie	when	she	takes	two	showers	in	a	period	of	twenty	minutes	.	and	for	you	horny	teenage	boys	out	there	,	you	actually	get	to	see	her	topless	for	two	seconds	in	the	dark	.	.	.	come	to	think	of	it	,	that	may	have	been	a	body	double	.	cindy	crawford	isn't	black	,	is	she	?	like	i	said	,	crawford	is	a	lawyer	with	a	bunch	of	russians	after	her	.	billy	baldwin	(	or	is	it	stephen	?	alec	?	adam	?	kim	basinger	?	)	is	the	police	detective	who	has	to	save	her	life	,	time	after	time	,	chase	after	chase	,	explosion	after	explosion	.	there's	absolutely	nothing	original	about	this	movie	.	it's	every	cop	show	of	the	70's	mixed	with	every	action	thriller	of	the	80's	and	every	technology	exploitation	movie	of	the	90's	.	three	decades	of	crap	all	in	one	place	,	driven	further	into	the	ground	by	crawford's	complete	lack	of	acting	talent	.	and	it's	all	completely	predictable	.	you	know	the	mistakes	baldwin	and	crawford	are	going	to	make	before	they	make	them	,	you	know	when	the	"	sexual	tension	"	will	finally	end	up	in	them	consummating	the	relationship	,	you	know	when	the	villains	will	capture	crawford	so	baldwin	has	to	rescue	her	in	the	climax	and	you	know	the	movie's	going	to	suck	from	the	first	scene	.	the	plot	isn't	really	explained	until	the	end	.	all	we	know	is	these	russians	have	every	detail	about	crawford	in	their	computer	.	in	the	words	of	one	of	the	villains	,	"	we	even	know	what	size	pantyhose	she	wears	.	"	(	yeah	,	you	and	every	14	year	old	boy	in	america	.	)	he	goes	on	to	add	,	"	we	know	more	about	her	than	she	does	.	"	(	_	that	_	i	find	very	easy	to	believe	.	)	i	hope	you	enjoyed	those	two	sample	dialogue	quotes	,	because	i	wrote	down	plenty	of	other	bad	ones	(	"	if	it	weren't	for	me	,	you'd	still	be	pulling	bananas	out	of	your	ass	in	cuba	!	"	)	because	,	you	see	,	fair	game	is	not	only	a	showcase	for	recycled	action	cliches	and	terrible	acting	,	but	also	some	seriously	bad	dialogue	.	it	all	adds	up	to	a	really	terrible	movie	that	made	me	laugh	in	plenty	of	places	i	wasn't	supposed	to	and	grimace	in	places	i	was	supposed	to	laugh	.	one	more	thing	fair	game	has	against	it	is	some	awful	comic	relief	.	would	you	laugh	at	a	scene	where	crawford	tortures	a	computer	nerd	with	double	entendres	like	"	i'm	very	interested	in	_	hard	_	ware	"	and	other	crap	about	playing	with	his	joystick	?	i	wouldn't	,	but	not	because	i'm	a	computer	nerd	.	it's	just	not	funny	.	crawford's	only	contribution	to	the	information	age	are	a	few	gif	files	floating	around	with	her	head	on	a	nude	traci	lords'	body	.	.	.	or	was	it	jack	lord's	body	?	i'll	leave	you	with	the	final	line	of	dialogue	in	the	movie	.	the	boat	with	all	the	russians	has	just	blown	up	and	baldwin	and	crawford	are	floating	on	a	life	raft	.	crawford	says	woodenly	,	"	that	was	my	client's	boat	you	just	blew	up	.	i'm	filing	a	lawsuit	against	you	.	you're	in	big	trouble	,	"	or	something	to	that	effect	,	and	baldwin	replies	smugly	,	"	what	do	i	have	to	do	to	get	out	of	it	?	"	they	of	course	begin	making	out	and	the	credits	roll	.	i'm	not	going	to	talk	about	how	stupid	the	line	is	or	how	,	if	they'd	really	wanted	to	go	for	a	bad	closing	line	they	would	have	had	baldwin	say	,	"	you	think	i	could	settle	out	of	court	?	"	but	i	will	tell	you	that	,	if	anyone	ever	suggests	you	watch	fair	game	with	him	or	her	,	you	quote	the	final	line	of	the	movie	to	that	person	:	"	what	do	i	have	to	do	to	get	out	of	it	?	"
neg	for	more	movie	reviews	and	trivia	quizzes	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	based	on	the	wildly	popular	"	jerry	springer	"	tv	show	,	this	movie	follows	the	lives	of	two	groups	of	people	before	they	make	their	bizarre	appearances	on	the	infamous	program	.	one	posse	comes	from	the	trailer	parks	and	are	to	be	featured	in	the	"	i	slept	with	my	stepfather	"	segment	,	and	the	other	is	based	on	some	fly	girl	whose	girlfriends	keep	sleeping	with	her	undevoted	"	dog	"	boyfriend	.	critique	:	the	truth	is	that	if	i	didn't	have	a	day	job	,	i	would	probably	watch	the	real	"	jerry	springer	"	show	every	day	.	i	find	it	quite	entertaining	,	despite	its	complete	lack	of	redeeming	value	.	having	said	that	,	the	show	itself	is	outrageous	,	funny	,	and	always	filled	with	goofy	surprises	,	as	opposed	to	this	film	which	features	no	laughs	(	is	this	a	comedy	or	a	drama	?	)	,	uninteresting	and	completely	unbelievable	one	dimensional	stereotypes	,	and	a	contrived	plot	which	bores	us	stupid	all	the	way	.	i	never	thought	i	would	utter	the	word	boring	in	the	same	sentence	as	jerry	springer	,	but	this	film	is	an	absolute	yawn	fest	,	despite	offering	various	scenes	featuring	simulated	blowjobs	,	lesbians	,	t	a	and	tv	violence	(	who	would've	guessed	that	?	)	.	i	wish	they	would	have	either	a	)	made	this	movie	much	,	much	funnier	,	or	b	)	turned	it	into	a	complete	drama	and	given	us	a	real	perspective	as	to	why	people	like	this	actually	put	themselves	through	these	public	forums	of	embarrassment	.	unfortunately	,	it	doesn't	seem	as	though	screenwriter	jon	bernstein	spent	more	than	a	drunken	weekend	watching	real	"	jerry	springer	"	reruns	to	complete	his	script	,	leaving	us	with	a	boring	film	,	featuring	no	laughs	,	one	dimensional	characters	,	and	no	fun	whatsoever	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	jerry	springer	used	to	be	the	mayor	of	cincinnati	,	ohio	.	for	this	film	,	he	won	the	1999	razzie	award	for	worst	new	star	,	tied	with	joe	esterhas	from	an	alan	smithee	film	:	burn	hollywood	burn	.
neg	cast	:	michael	douglas	,	gwyneth	paltrow	,	viggo	mortensen	,	david	suchet	,	sarita	choudhury	director	:	andrew	davis	producers	:	arnold	kopelson	,	anne	kopelson	,	peter	macgregor	scott	,	christopher	mankiewicz	screenplay	:	patrick	smith	kelly	based	on	the	play	"	dial	m	for	murder	"	by	frederick	knott	cinematography	:	dariusz	wolski	music	:	james	newton	howard	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	warner	brothers	any	remake	of	an	alfred	hitchcock	film	is	at	best	an	uncertain	project	,	as	a	perfect	murder	illustrates	.	frankly	,	dial	m	for	murder	is	not	one	of	the	master	director's	greatest	efforts	,	so	there	is	ample	room	for	improvement	.	unfortunately	,	instead	of	updating	the	script	,	ironing	out	some	of	the	faults	,	and	speeding	up	the	pace	a	little	,	a	perfect	murder	has	inexplicably	managed	to	eliminate	almost	everything	that	was	worthwhile	about	dial	m	for	murder	,	leaving	behind	the	nearly	unwatchable	wreckage	of	a	would	be	'90s	thriller	.	almost	all	suspense	films	are	loaded	with	plot	implausibilities	.	the	best	thrillers	keep	viewers	involved	enough	in	what's	going	on	so	that	these	flaws	in	logic	don't	become	apparent	until	long	after	the	final	credits	have	rolled	.	unfortunately	,	in	a	perfect	murder	,	the	faults	are	often	so	overt	that	we	become	aware	of	them	as	they're	happening	.	this	is	a	very	bad	sign	.	not	only	do	such	occurrences	shatter	any	suspension	of	disbelief	,	but	they	have	the	astute	viewer	looking	for	the	next	such	blunder	.	of	course	,	in	the	case	of	a	perfect	murder	,	at	least	that	gives	an	audience	member	something	to	do	besides	concentrating	on	the	inane	plot	and	the	lifeless	,	cardboard	characters	.	a	perfect	murder	isn't	a	strict	remake	of	dial	m	for	murder	,	but	it	does	borrow	heavily	from	frederick	knott's	play	(	which	was	also	the	source	material	for	hitchcock's	version	,	as	well	as	a	1981	made	for	tv	retelling	)	.	emily	hayes	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	is	the	wealthy	wife	of	powerful	wall	street	mover	and	shaker	steven	hayes	(	michael	douglas	)	.	their	marriage	isn't	going	well	emily	resents	steven's	controlling	instincts	,	and	,	as	a	form	of	rebellion	,	she	is	having	an	affair	with	a	penniless	painter	,	david	shaw	(	viggo	mortensen	)	.	when	steven	learns	of	the	relationship	,	he	decides	to	confront	david	,	but	his	approach	isn't	that	of	a	typical	cuckolded	husband	.	instead	of	yelling	or	threatening	,	steven	offers	david	a	proposal	that's	too	good	to	resist	:	for	500	,	000	in	cash	(	100	,	000	before	,	the	rest	after	)	,	he	is	to	break	into	steven's	new	york	apartment	and	kill	emily	.	(	of	course	,	after	getting	the	first	payment	,	david	never	bothers	to	ask	how	he's	supposed	to	get	the	rest	.	)	ultimately	,	i'm	not	sure	which	of	the	three	main	characters	we're	supposed	to	be	sympathetic	to	:	the	cold	hearted	husband	,	who	wants	his	wife	dead	so	he	can	get	his	hands	on	her	fortune	;	her	mercenary	lover	,	who	is	willing	to	do	the	deed	for	half	a	million	;	or	the	woman	,	who	is	happily	carrying	on	an	extramarital	affair	.	not	only	are	these	individuals	all	profoundly	dislikable	,	but	they're	not	interesting	.	(	it's	possible	to	make	a	good	movie	with	detestable	characters	see	reservoir	dogs	but	there	has	to	be	something	compelling	about	them	,	which	,	in	this	case	,	there	isn't	.	)	steven	,	emily	,	and	david	are	all	lifted	directly	from	the	screenwriting	101	text	book	on	stereotypes	.	the	actors	in	this	film	are	obviously	just	on	hand	to	get	their	paychecks	.	michael	douglas	is	playing	the	kind	of	heartless	tycoon	that	he	can	do	in	his	sleep	he's	gordon	gekko	with	an	unfaithful	wife	.	gwyneth	paltrow	,	who	was	recently	delightful	and	appealing	in	sliding	doors	,	is	simply	awful	here	.	she	now	has	the	dubious	distinction	of	have	starred	in	two	of	1998's	worst	thrillers	(	the	other	being	hush	)	.	at	least	viggo	mortensen	(	g	.	i	.	jane	)	has	a	little	fun	with	his	part	,	but	then	he	usually	does	interesting	things	even	in	bad	movies	.	the	thin	supporting	cast	includes	david	suchet	,	the	star	of	"	poirot	,	"	as	a	police	inspector	,	and	sarita	choudhury	(	kama	sutra	)	as	emily's	best	friend	.	a	perfect	murder	is	a	plodding	production	that	generates	almost	no	suspense	from	beginning	to	end	.	there	aren't	many	twists	and	turns	in	the	unexpectedly	linear	script	,	which	makes	the	ending	inevitable	almost	from	the	start	.	it's	surprising	to	see	director	andrew	davis	,	the	man	behind	the	fugitive	,	involved	in	this	mess	,	but	,	like	his	stars	,	he	too	needs	to	earn	a	living	.	it's	just	that	remaking	hitchcock	,	and	doing	it	so	badly	,	hardly	seems	to	be	an	honorable	way	to	go	about	getting	the	dough	.
neg	jessica	lange	is	one	of	the	most	inconsistent	actresses	working	today	.	from	time	to	time	,	she	blows	away	audiences	with	powerful	,	intense	performances	.	on	the	other	hand	,	this	is	the	same	woman	who	made	her	jaw	droppingly	awful	feature	debut	in	dino	delaurentiis'	king	kong	.	and	,	much	as	lange	would	probably	prefer	movie	goers	to	develop	amnesia	regarding	that	particular	entry	on	her	resume	,	every	once	in	a	while	she	does	work	that	is	reminiscent	of	it	,	if	only	in	quality	.	hush	is	one	such	example	.	lange	is	so	bad	here	that	she	might	have	been	fun	to	watch	if	the	rest	of	the	film	wasn't	such	a	prime	example	of	motion	picture	tedium	.	the	film	opens	,	as	many	so	called	"	psychological	thrillers	"	do	,	by	posing	as	a	light	drama	.	we	are	introduced	to	jackson	(	johnathon	schaech	,	last	encounter	in	tom	hanks'	that	thing	you	do	!	)	and	helen	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	,	a	picture	perfect	young	couple	who	are	very	much	in	love	.	jackson	is	taking	helen	home	for	the	holidays	so	she	can	meet	his	mother	,	martha	(	lange	)	.	the	moment	i	first	saw	martha	,	i	started	looking	for	fangs	.	soon	,	the	wicked	witch	of	the	east	is	plotting	a	way	for	her	son	to	get	helen	pregnant	(	this	involves	poking	a	hole	in	a	diaphragm	)	.	once	that	goal	is	accomplished	,	she	manipulates	events	so	that	the	expecting	couple	moves	out	of	new	york	city	to	the	horse	farm	where	she	lives	.	as	long	as	she	gets	her	way	,	martha	is	a	perfectly	amicable	person	,	but	when	helen	defies	her	,	it's	a	declaration	of	war	.	hush	has	three	very	simple	problems	:	it's	incredibly	dumb	,	it's	incredibly	boring	,	and	it's	incredibly	predictable	(	at	least	up	to	the	stupefying	ending	)	.	this	film	has	absolutely	nothing	to	recommend	it	,	with	the	exception	of	a	couple	of	nice	shots	of	snow	covered	fields	and	a	quick	glimpse	of	gwyneth	paltrow's	bare	buttocks	.	frankly	,	it's	embarrassing	to	watch	a	respected	actress	of	lange's	stature	give	a	performance	like	this	it's	like	a	bad	blanche	dubois	(	the	role	she	played	in	a	1995	tv	version	of	a	streetcar	named	desire	)	.	meanwhile	,	paltrow	does	her	best	to	get	through	her	dialogue	without	gaping	at	the	stupidity	of	some	of	her	lines	,	and	schaech	attempts	a	passable	imitation	of	an	inanimate	object	.	as	in	all	psychological	thrillers	,	the	battle	lines	are	clearly	drawn	.	here	,	it's	mom	and	against	wife	,	with	jackson	caught	in	the	middle	.	of	course	,	since	schaech's	character	is	poorly	developed	and	badly	acted	,	it's	impossible	to	say	how	he	feels	about	being	in	that	situation	.	maybe	someone	should	ask	him	if	he's	familiar	with	oedipus	.	martha	is	,	of	course	,	the	evil	one	.	how	do	we	know	she's	evil	?	she	smokes	cigarettes	and	drinks	hard	liquor	two	sure	signs	that	the	devil	is	at	work	.	on	the	other	hand	,	helen	is	a	good	girl	.	the	evidence	for	this	is	that	she's	nice	to	old	ladies	and	treasures	a	locket	with	a	picture	of	her	dead	parents	.	that's	about	it	for	character	development	.	beyond	that	point	,	hush	is	just	a	series	of	increasingly	hard	to	swallow	coincidences	,	contrivances	,	and	moronic	plot	twists	.	however	,	the	first	85	minutes	are	just	a	warm	up	for	the	ending	,	which	is	as	anticlimactic	as	it	is	profoundly	dissatisfying	.	i	can't	imagine	anyone	,	no	matter	what	they	thought	of	the	movie	as	a	whole	,	liking	this	conclusion	.	either	there	was	some	serious	last	minute	editing	or	someone	left	out	a	few	pages	of	the	script	.	before	the	climax	,	i	disliked	hush	;	by	the	time	the	end	credits	started	,	i	hated	it	.	viewers	invest	something	in	every	movie	they	watch	,	no	matter	how	good	or	bad	it	is	.	cheating	them	like	this	is	offensive	and	unpardonable	.	most	entries	into	this	worn	out	,	worm	eaten	genre	aren't	especially	good	.	films	like	consenting	adults	,	the	hand	that	rocks	the	cradle	,	and	single	white	female	rely	on	stock	plots	and	predictable	twists	to	propel	the	narrative	along	.	in	general	,	however	,	they're	directed	with	a	degree	of	competence	that	assures	a	level	of	sustained	tension	.	that's	not	the	case	with	really	bad	thrillers	like	this	,	which	fail	to	generate	even	a	momentary	heart	palpitation	the	characters	are	too	bland	and	the	plot	is	too	uninvolving	for	anyone	in	the	audience	to	care	.	indeed	,	the	title	of	this	movie	probably	refers	to	what	the	producers	hope	viewers	will	do	in	lieu	of	telling	their	friends	what	they	really	think	of	this	sorry	piece	of	celluloid	.
neg	brian	de	palma	,	the	director	who	bought	us	carrie	,	dressed	to	kill	and	mission	:	impossible	is	back	,	and	has	bought	all	his	technical	expertise	with	him	.	sadly	,	he	forget	to	bring	a	good	story	and	believable	characters	.	nic	cage	plays	rick	santaro	,	a	fast	talking	cop	who	is	watching	a	boxing	match	with	his	friend	commander	kevin	dunne	(	sinise	.	)	an	assassination	takes	place	,	and	santaro	tries	to	peace	together	how	it	took	place	,	trying	to	work	out	the	roles	of	the	people	involved	in	this	conspiracy	.	the	film	uses	flashbacks	and	video	cameras	to	bring	the	mystery	together	.	however	,	the	film	doesn't	keep	the	mystery	for	long	,	and	once	the	big	'secret'	is	out	concerning	kevin	dunne	,	the	film	is	at	a	dead	end	.	although	there	are	some	fantastic	shots	by	de	palma	,	including	a	15	minute	steadicam	shot	at	the	start	of	the	film	,	halfway	through	the	film	drops	dead	.	the	problem	is	that	de	palma	doesn't	have	a	strong	story	or	characters	to	work	with	.	he	tries	to	offshoot	this	with	flashy	camera	techniques	,	but	pretty	soon	this	has	no	effect	on	the	audience	,	and	i	quickly	got	bored	.	nic	cage	and	gary	sinise	try	to	inject	some	life	into	some	poorly	realised	characters	,	but	it's	no	use	.	they	are	boring	,	faceless	,	and	completely	unlikeable	.	yes	,	another	problem	with	the	film	is	that	there's	no	one	to	root	for	.	we're	supposed	to	be	on	cage's	side	,	because	his	character	becomes	nicer	throughout	the	film	.	however	,	his	change	is	sadly	unbelievable	.	poor	gary	sinise's	character	is	terrible	,	who	completely	changes	throughout	the	start	,	the	middle	and	the	end	,	in	an	appalling	way	.	the	film's	use	of	flashback	quickly	gets	boring	.	while	clever	and	interesting	the	first	few	times	,	it	quickly	becomes	apparent	that	flashbacks	are	being	used	because	the	film	has	nowhere	to	go	.	they	certainly	don't	increase	the	tension	or	suspense	of	the	movie	.	there	is	small	thread	of	suspense	running	through	the	film	,	but	it	certainly	doesn't	make	this	film	a	powerhouse	thriller	,	rather	just	a	slightly	below	average	one	.	the	script	is	lousy	and	contrived	,	the	characters	flat	and	two	dimensional	.	certainly	not	good	factors	for	a	film	passing	itself	off	for	a	thriller	.	the	most	depressing	aspect	of	the	film	is	that	it	had	potential	.	there's	a	good	story	buried	in	snake	eyes	,	it's	just	bogged	down	in	razzle	dazzle	and	flashbacks	.	it	also	gives	itself	away	far	too	quickly	,	rather	than	leaving	the	big	twist	for	the	end	.	while	the	performances	are	intriguing	,	especially	by	newcomer	carla	gugino	as	a	sexy	'number	cruncher'	wrapped	up	in	the	case	,	there's	no	way	of	altering	the	fact	that	snake	eyes	is	a	terminal	case	of	style	of	substance	,	and	unless	you're	a	big	fan	of	either	cage	or	flash	directing	,	should	be	avoided	.
neg	capsule	:	gal	is	a	50s	ish	london	cockney	gangster	who	has	retired	to	spain	.	his	old	associates	want	him	for	one	last	job	and	send	the	vicious	don	to	give	him	an	offer	he	can't	refuse	.	a	standout	performance	by	ben	kingsley	as	don	cannot	save	what	is	essentially	a	set	of	cliches	recycled	from	old	westerns	.	rating	:	4	(	0	to	10	)	,	0	(	4	to	4	)	roger	ebert	asks	in	his	review	of	sexy	beast	,	"	who	would	have	guessed	that	the	most	savage	mad	dog	frothing	gangster	in	recent	movies	would	be	played	by	.	.	.	ben	kingsley	?	"	my	response	would	be	that	anyone	who	has	seen	alan	arkin	in	wait	until	dark	,	henry	fonda	in	once	upon	a	time	in	the	west	,	or	anthony	hopkins	in	the	silence	of	the	lambs	should	have	guessed	it	.	they	should	know	that	the	way	for	a	film	to	create	a	really	creepy	sociopath	is	cast	someone	who	generally	plays	mild	,	sympathetic	,	or	even	ineffectual	character	roles	.	the	same	characteristics	that	make	an	actor	seem	gentle	in	most	of	his	roles	can	work	in	his	favor	when	a	role	calls	for	him	to	be	fierce	and	vicious	.	that	is	the	principle	that	works	for	kingsley	in	sexy	beast	.	gary	"	gal	"	dove	(	played	by	ray	winstone	)	has	retired	from	a	london	career	of	crime	and	is	living	on	a	luxurious	villa	in	spain	.	life	has	become	a	routine	of	sunning	himself	and	relaxing	.	but	his	paradise	is	about	to	be	shattered	by	a	one	two	punch	.	the	first	punch	is	a	boulder	that	comes	rolling	down	the	hill	next	to	the	villa	.	the	second	punch	comes	from	gal's	past	.	back	in	london	gang	boss	teddy	bass	(	ian	mcshane	,	tv's	lovejoy	)	is	planning	to	break	into	a	safety	deposit	room	in	a	bank	and	he	wants	gal	.	he	sends	his	most	rabid	henchman	don	logan	(	ben	kingsley	)	to	fetch	gal	.	don	will	accept	any	decision	gal	makes	from	"	yes	"	to	"	certainly	.	"	however	,	if	gal	says	"	no	"	don	will	do	whatever	it	takes	to	turn	it	into	a	yes	including	threatening	guy's	ex	porn	star	wife	deedee	(	amanda	redman	)	.	in	the	meantime	don	knows	just	how	to	get	under	everybody's	skin	.	kingsley	makes	don	a	compact	package	of	fury	and	nastiness	.	there	are	some	serious	problems	in	louis	mellis's	and	david	scinto's	script	that	should	have	been	caught	before	filming	.	when	we	see	the	actual	crime	we	have	no	idea	why	gal	was	so	important	to	its	success	.	beyond	an	ability	to	use	skin	diving	gear	,	no	special	talents	are	required	of	him	.	any	local	hood	could	have	done	what	gal	is	needed	for	.	additionally	the	crime	involves	digging	from	a	swimming	pool	to	the	bank	vault	,	flooding	the	vault	.	no	only	could	they	have	let	the	water	out	of	the	pool	and	avoided	the	complication	altogether	,	but	there	is	by	far	too	much	water	to	be	accounted	for	by	what	was	in	the	pool	.	in	spite	of	the	provocative	title	,	the	story	is	cliched	and	overly	familiar	.	i	know	i	have	seen	all	the	plot	elements	of	sexy	beast	in	old	westerns	like	the	law	and	jake	wade	.	the	story	is	usually	of	the	reformed	outlaw	,	a	robert	taylor	type	,	who	has	hung	up	his	guns	and	is	trying	for	a	life	of	peaceful	respectability	.	the	old	gang	,	however	,	wants	to	do	one	more	job	with	their	old	buddy	and	sends	a	rabid	richard	widmark	type	to	go	and	git	im	.	it	is	not	a	great	plot	.	in	sexy	beast	even	the	plot	twists	have	gray	beards	.	perhaps	the	film	has	a	little	more	respectability	because	it	was	made	not	as	a	western	but	as	a	stylish	british	gangster	film	.	it	is	an	old	plot	dressed	up	to	look	new	.	if	the	plot	is	old	,	at	least	the	style	is	creative	.	this	is	director	jonathan	glazer's	first	film	,	but	he	has	reputedly	done	some	notable	tv	ads	for	guinness	stout	.	his	style	does	have	some	unexpected	touches	including	some	very	odd	dream	sequences	.	cinematographer	ivan	bird	uses	a	lot	of	half	lit	scenes	.	we	see	one	side	of	a	person's	faces	.	but	the	other	side	fades	into	the	darkness	,	a	sort	of	metaphor	for	the	half	world	these	characters	in	habit	.	half	of	everything	that	is	happening	is	also	kept	hidden	.	we	yanks	will	have	a	hard	time	with	some	of	the	dialog	.	at	least	in	my	theater	it	was	difficult	to	make	out	the	words	with	the	quiet	speaking	,	the	heavy	accents	,	and	the	cockney	language	.	sexy	beast	is	a	very	and	familiar	minor	plot	lent	respectability	in	the	us	by	being	done	in	what	is	here	a	still	somewhat	novel	genre	,	the	london	crime	film	.	the	plot	may	be	new	to	british	crime	films	,	but	it	would	be	overly	familiar	as	a	western	.	further	respectability	comes	from	ben	kingsley's	high	powered	performance	.	i	give	it	a	4	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	0	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
neg	phil	(	radmar	jao	)	has	a	hairy	problem	.	his	beard	is	growing	so	rapidly	that	he	has	to	shave	every	hour	.	he	recently	met	the	author	of	a	non	fiction	book	on	lycanthropy	,	also	referred	to	in	the	movie	as	werewolfism	,	and	phil	now	believes	that	his	problem	is	that	he	has	become	a	werewolf	.	using	enough	chains	and	handcuffs	to	be	a	hit	at	a	sadomasochists	convention	,	he	ties	himself	in	at	night	lest	his	urges	overcome	him	.	and	phil	is	just	one	of	the	many	quirky	characters	that	inhabit	shopping	for	fangs	.	made	on	a	pittance	,	the	film	features	an	almost	exclusively	asian	american	cast	.	as	directed	by	quentin	lee	and	justin	lin	,	the	movie	is	so	amateurishly	bad	that	it	could	almost	be	a	parody	of	indie	films	.	jeanne	chin	plays	katherine	,	a	meek	and	soft	spoken	wife	,	who	worries	that	her	husband	is	unhappy	with	her	because	she	is	not	giving	him	enough	sex	.	we	know	this	through	the	endless	scenes	of	her	confessing	her	sins	,	real	and	imagined	,	to	her	therapist	.	as	her	husband	,	jim	,	clint	jung	plays	a	muscle	man	with	a	macho	crudeness	.	the	picture	is	filled	with	stereotypes	.	there's	a	mysterious	,	loud	mouthed	waitress	with	a	big	,	platinum	blonde	wig	who	brags	to	everyone	she	meets	that	she's	a	lesbian	.	she	spends	most	of	the	movie	putting	the	moves	on	her	favorite	customer	,	a	gay	guy	.	and	the	lone	white	with	a	major	role	,	the	author	on	werewolfism	,	has	wildly	unkempt	,	orangey	blonde	,	curly	hair	.	from	its	opening	scene	of	an	attempted	rape	at	knifepoint	to	its	easy	to	guess	ending	twist	,	the	script	rarely	has	anything	to	offer	.	the	story	is	so	minimally	developed	that	it	feels	almost	like	the	actors	were	ad	libbing	.	one	can	only	hope	that	the	directors'	next	film	will	have	some	substance	and	some	credible	acting	.	shopping	for	fangs	runs	1	:	30	.	it	is	rated	r	for	sex	,	violence	,	and	profanity	and	would	be	fine	for	older	teenagers	.
neg	dr	dolittle	(	20th	century	fox	)	running	time	:	1	hour	25	minutes	starring	eddie	murphy	directed	by	betty	thomas	riding	high	on	the	success	of	the	nutty	professor	(	1996	)	,	murphy	returns	in	this	abysmal	comedy	.	he	plays	doctor	john	dolittle	,	who	as	a	child	had	the	ability	to	understand	animals	.	however	,	after	being	'exorcised'	he	loses	this	ability	,	and	we	fast	forward	to	see	dolittle	in	a	crummy	job	surrounding	by	crummy	people	(	most	notably	dr	mark	weller	,	played	by	oliver	platt	.	)	however	,	with	a	bonk	on	the	head	his	ability	to	understand	animals	returns	,	and	'comedy'	is	ready	and	waiting	to	happen	.	except	comedy	never	does	happen	.	doctor	dolittle	,	even	with	the	excellent	premise	,	rarely	manages	to	raise	a	laugh	.	poor	old	murphy	looks	bored	stiff	throughout	the	whole	movie	,	and	his	performance	suffers	.	the	manic	murphy	we	saw	in	the	80's	is	gone	,	his	more	mature	(	and	more	boring	)	twin	appears	to	be	getting	all	the	work	in	the	90's	.	the	voices	of	the	animals	,	which	include	albert	brooks	,	chris	rock	(	the	'new'	eddie	murphy	)	and	norm	mcdonald	as	'lucky'	the	dog	are	marginally	better	,	and	at	least	they	put	enthusiasm	in	the	movie	.	sadly	,	most	of	their	lines	are	pretty	dumb	.	and	they're	not	'funny'	dumb	,	like	dumb	dumber	(	1994	)	,	but	just	boring	dumb	.	the	film	even	succumbs	to	fart	jokes	halfway	through	,	in	a	desperate	attempt	to	raise	some	laughs	.	there	are	a	few	good	jokes	in	the	script	,	but	they	are	few	and	far	between	.	if	i	had	to	choose	a	favourite	performance	,	it	would	probably	be	albert	brooks	tiger	,	who	has	a	certain	charm	about	him	.	sadly	,	he's	barely	in	the	movie	,	and	rock's	really	annoying	hamster	is	given	far	too	much	screen	time	.	joke	wise	,	we	are	thankfully	,	spared	the	mocking	and	insulting	type	of	jokes	that	featured	heavily	in	the	nutty	professor	.	the	director	,	betty	thomas	,	has	,	well	,	done	better	films	.	she	bought	us	private	parts	(	1997	)	and	the	brady	bunch	movie	(	1995	)	which	were	,	sadly	,	much	better	than	this	.	the	scenes	lack	any	charm	,	she	just	gets	the	job	done	.	the	animals	themselves	,	are	reasonable	realistic	,	although	most	of	them	are	obviously	puppets	.	there's	an	impressive	looking	tiger	,	however	,	and	the	lip	sync	is	pretty	good	.	you'd	have	no	problem	guessing	that	most	of	the	close	up's	are	puppets	,	however	,	with	their	jilted	movement	.	i	was	hoping	jim	hensons	workshop	,	who	created	the	furry	friends	,	would	have	done	a	better	job	.	doctor	dolittle	,	in	the	end	,	is	a	disappointment	for	everyone	involved	.	murphy	has	done	much	better	movies	(	i	.	e	trading	places	)	the	director	has	seen	better	days	,	and	even	the	creatures	aren't	that	good	.	the	target	audience	,	aged	between	7	13	,	who	are	undemanding	,	will	probably	like	it	however	,	thanks	to	it's	dumbed	down	humour	.	everyone	else	,	however	,	should	give	doctor	dolittle	a	miss	.
neg	well	,	there's	nothing	like	missing	a	fad	by	a	few	years	to	show	how	really	behind	the	curve	you	are	.	permanent	midnight	,	the	new	film	about	the	rise	and	fall	.	.	.	well	,	mostly	the	fall	.	.	.	of	tv	writer	jerry	stahl	should	prove	to	be	the	final	nail	in	the	short	lived	,	and	now	painful	to	watch	,	genre	:	the	drug	movie	.	perhaps	best	known	as	the	chief	influence	behind	the	tv	show	"	alf	,	"	midnight	is	a	simplistic	retelling	of	stahl's	tell	all	autobiography	.	ben	stiller	,	the	only	remotely	passable	part	of	this	film	,	plays	stahl	with	gusto	,	but	twenty	minutes	of	stiller	going	berserk	as	a	strung	out	junkie	are	more	than	enough	.	sadly	,	that's	all	this	movie	is	:	a	whopping	85	minutes	of	stiller	on	heroin	.	there's	precious	little	about	his	life	before	or	after	his	addiction	.	it's	just	a	few	pages	out	of	the	life	of	a	junkie	.	and	i	couldn't	have	cared	less	.	plot	development	?	ha	!	first	time	director	veloz	obviously	feels	it's	beneath	him	.	maybe	the	worst	part	of	midnight	is	that	it's	told	completely	in	flashback	,	as	stahl	reminisces	to	some	blonde	girl	who	picks	him	up	at	a	fast	food	joint	.	played	by	maria	bello	,	this	outta	nowhere	character	is	so	devoid	of	,	well	,	of	anything	that	my	cat	could	have	played	her	with	the	same	conviction	.	bello	had	best	start	rethinking	that	"	er	"	departure	,	pronto	.	i	won't	waste	any	more	time	droning	about	how	bad	permanent	midnight	is	.	but	i	will	say	one	thing	:	at	least	it	explains	a	lot	about	"	alf	.	"
neg	the	first	big	disappointment	of	the	holiday	season	is	you've	got	mail	(	)	,	nora	ephron's	uneven	re	pairing	of	sleepless	in	seattle	lovebirds	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	.	surprisingly	empty	and	enormously	light	,	mail	is	anchored	only	by	the	presence	of	its	two	huge	stars	.	once	past	the	nifty	computer	generated	opening	of	a	virtual	new	york	city	,	viewers	will	be	introduced	to	the	two	main	characters	.	ryan	is	kathleen	kelly	,	an	endlessly	perky	and	chipper	owner	of	a	small	children's	book	store	.	hanks	plays	joe	fox	,	the	puffy	faced	owner	of	a	huge	chain	of	successful	bookstores	(	a	la	barnes	and	noble	)	that	is	opening	its	new	outlet	around	the	corner	and	intends	to	run	kelly's	shop	out	of	business	.	they	unknowingly	met	in	a	chat	room	(	before	the	film	starts	)	and	have	been	communicating	via	e	mail	for	monthsbut	neither	knows	who	their	pen	pal	really	is	.	the	rest	of	the	story	unfolds	so	predictably	unimaginative	that	it	actually	rivals	sister	act	2	:	back	in	the	habit	in	terms	of	a	sheer	lack	of	originality	.	essentially	a	remake	of	the	shop	around	the	corner	,	the	1946	jimmy	stewart	margaret	sullavan	classic	,	mail	plods	along	at	powerfully	sluggish	two	hour	pace	that	is	about	30	minutes	too	long	for	fare	this	shallow	and	slight	.	nobody	that	has	been	to	the	movies	in	the	past	forty	years	should	be	entertained	by	this	film	or	surprised	by	its	outcome	.	hanks'	phoned	in	performance	is	particularly	vacant	and	reminiscent	of	harrison	ford's	wooden	turn	in	sabrina	,	while	ryan	is	,	as	always	,	a	pleasure	to	watch	.	his	charm	is	turned	down	to	around	3'	and	hers	is	cranked	up	to	about	12'	.	mail	will	likely	draw	many	comparisons	to	seattle	a	film	about	two	love	hungry	adults	that	fall	for	each	other	site	unseen	.	why	did	the	studio	honchos	think	that	the	average	american	needed	to	see	a	flick	so	similar	that	they	actually	enlisted	the	same	stars	?	the	answer	is	simple	money	.	hanks	and	ryan	are	huge	box	office	draws	.	why	?	because	he's	the	type	of	guy	that	men	want	to	be	,	and	she	is	the	girl	that	most	women	secretly	wish	they	were	(	but	will	never	ever	admitever	)	.	mail	also	boasts	an	amazing	cast	of	co	stars	greg	kinnear	,	jean	stapleton	,	dave	chappelle	and	dabney	coleman	capably	handle	their	roles	,	but	steve	zahn	and	indie	goddess	parker	posey	stand	out	in	their	smaller	parts	.	how	does	a	film	pay	for	this	many	stars	of	this	magnitude	?	the	answer	is	simple	product	placement	.	prepare	to	have	america	online	,	starbucks	,	apple	and	microsoft	products	shoved	in	your	face	for	a	full	two	hours	.	i	have	a	few	suggestions	for	better	plots	;	the	most	obvious	being	a	more	realistic	story	of	two	people	who	meet	on	the	internet	.	he	would	be	a	400	pound	unemployed	star	trek	fan	pretending	to	be	a	successful	businessman	,	while	she	would	say	that	she	resembles	cindy	crawford	but	would	actually	turn	out	to	be	a	man	.	oh	,	yeah	,	and	he	would	be	a	serial	killer	,	too	.	the	tagline	would	be	life	is	like	a	box	of	chocolates	.	'	other	suggestions	include	you've	got	herpes	a	madcap	comedy	(	presumably	starring	either	pauly	shore	or	charlie	sheen	)	about	a	guy	who	has	a	drunken	one	time	sexual	encounter	with	a	girl	he	meets	on	the	internet	and	wakes	up	with	genital	warts	and	a	white	,	clumpy	discharge	.	the	rest	of	the	film	would	be	a	hilarious	romp	as	the	shore	sheen	character	tried	to	track	down	the	one	night	stand	,	who	would	also	turn	out	to	be	a	serial	killer	.	tagline	this	christmas	,	pornography	isn't	the	only	thing	brad	flaherty	downloads	.	'	or	you've	got	cancer	a	bittersweet	drama	,	directed	by	david	lynch	,	about	a	willy	loman	type	travelling	salesman	who	neglects	his	family	and	dies	of	prostate	cancer	.	things	take	a	surreal	turn	when	,	one	year	after	his	death	,	the	soul	of	the	salesman	is	transferred	to	the	toilet	brush	in	his	family's	downstairs	bathroom	.	the	brush	tries	to	be	a	better	father	to	his	two	small	children	,	but	fails	miserably	as	the	children	grow	so	frightened	of	him	that	they	develop	a	psychological	fear	of	the	bathroom	and	must	be	hospitalized	for	severe	constipation	.	tragically	,	when	the	family	returns	home	from	the	hospital	,	they	find	the	brush	hanging	from	a	pipe	on	the	bathroom	ceiling	.	then	the	two	kids	would	grow	up	to	be	serial	killers	.	tagline	frank	schwartz	thought	his	life	was	baduntil	he	died	.	'	how	about	you've	got	conjoined	twin	myslexia	the	big	screen	debut	of	television's	south	park	centers	around	the	origins	of	the	two	faced	school	nurse	.	the	kids	would	get	to	use	dirtier	words	,	cartman's	manhood	would	be	revealed	,	stan	would	be	a	serial	killer	and	kenny	would	die	in	every	reel	.	tagline	give	us	your	money	;	it's	south	park	!	'	actually	,	you've	got	anything	(	except	mail	)	would	have	been	an	improvement	.	you've	got	mail	(	1	:	59	)	is	rated	pg	for	some	very	mild	language	and	some	adult	situations	.
neg	i	challenge	any	film	reviewer	to	find	an	animated	film	that	is	more	sickeningly	bad	,	predictable	,	and	stupidly	sappy	than	this	one	.	the	winner	(	if	one	finds	a	film	worse	than	this	)	will	receive	the	chance	to	remove	this	movie	from	all	video	shelves	across	america	.	kayley	(	jessalyn	gilsig	)	has	always	dreamed	of	becoming	a	knight	of	the	round	table	just	like	her	father	sir	lionel	(	gabriel	bryne	)	so	when	the	evil	ruber	(	gary	oldman	,	who's	character	is	scarier	than	he	is	)	has	his	griffin	steal	excalibur	,	he	plans	to	rule	all	,	but	the	griffin	drops	it	in	the	"	forbidden	forest	.	"	kayley	runs	away	from	her	mother	(	jane	seymour	)	to	find	the	famed	sword	where	she	meets	up	with	a	blind	man	(	elwes	)	who	has	magically	lived	his	entire	life	in	the	forest	alone	with	a	falcon	that	helps	him	see	.	throw	in	a	two	headed	wisecracking	dragon	and	you've	got	probably	one	of	the	worst	family	films	ever	made	.	never	mind	that	the	animation	is	pretty	,	and	kayley	always	remains	pretty	and	clean	throughout	the	entire	movie	,	this	is	just	plain	bad	material	(	that	doesn't	deserve	this	long	of	a	review	)	and	for	that	i	give	it	a	paltry	1	2	stars	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	robert	strohmeyer	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	a46c7fd38f94c1c0882569660003758e	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	a46c7fd38f94c1c0882569660003758e	?	opendocument	a	the	story	of	two	friends	drifting	apart	in	a	world	of	increasingly	conflicting	interests	,	one	is	the	directorial	debut	of	former	fashion	photographer's	assistant	and	college	ballplayer	tony	barbieri	.	meet	nick	razca	(	kane	picoy	)	,	a	twenty	something	san	francisco	trash	collector	who	coulda	been	a	contender	in	major	league	baseball	if	he	hadn't	started	his	career	by	socking	his	coach	in	the	face	.	now	meet	charlie	o'connell	,	fresh	out	of	the	big	house	after	apparently	assisting	in	his	grandfather's	suicide	.	nick	and	charlie	are	lifelong	friends	.	now	that	charlie's	out	of	prison	,	nick	and	his	family	(	he	still	lives	with	his	parents	)	have	opened	their	doors	to	him	indefinitely	.	soon	charlie	will	be	working	the	trash	truck	with	nick	,	but	first	he	has	some	community	service	to	do	,	under	the	management	of	a	moderately	plausible	love	interest	named	sarah	(	autumn	macintosh	)	.	meanwhile	,	some	bad	guys	are	out	to	kill	poor	charlie	because	he	pissed	some	people	off	in	prison	.	due	to	its	horrendously	amateurish	scripting	and	direction	,	it	took	yours	truly	about	60	of	this	film's	88	minutes	to	learn	all	the	background	presented	above	;	converting	what	seems	at	face	value	like	an	interesting	story	into	little	more	than	a	tangle	of	bad	editing	and	ambient	noise	.	and	let's	talk	about	the	noise	for	a	moment	.	while	it's	perfectly	understandable	that	filmmakers	on	a	budget	might	not	produce	the	best	possible	audio	tracks	,	barbieri's	insistence	on	having	his	actors	talk	with	their	mouths	full	for	two	thirds	of	the	movie	is	absolutely	senseless	.	coupled	with	the	slow	,	pathetic	dialogue	,	conversation	between	the	characters	serves	little	purpose	beyond	breaking	up	long	periods	of	slurping	spaghetti	and	shuffling	feet	.	so	,	based	on	observations	from	this	film's	failures	,	here	are	a	few	tips	for	you	budding	filmmakers	out	there	:	1	)	when	characters	are	speaking	,	it's	a	good	idea	to	show	them	on	camera	at	least	some	of	the	time	.	about	a	third	of	macintosh's	lines	are	spoken	off	camera	,	sometimes	showing	just	her	hands	so	we	know	she's	still	there	.	it's	a	real	tension	killer	.	2	)	lay	out	your	story	up	front	.	there's	nothing	wrong	with	plot	twists	and	surprises	,	but	it's	a	good	idea	to	let	your	audience	know	right	from	the	beginning	that	your	movie	is	actually	about	something	.	3	)	keep	it	moving	.	long	,	pointless	silences	may	be	common	in	real	life	conversations	,	but	should	be	kept	to	a	minimum	in	movie	life	,	unless	they	convey	some	kind	of	meaning	,	which	wasn't	the	case	in	any	of	one's	innumerable	long	,	pointless	silences	.	on	the	bright	side	,	actors	jason	cairns	and	autumn	macintosh	show	a	lot	of	potential	,	and	they	might	even	have	saved	the	film	had	barbieri's	direction	not	bungled	the	job	so	completely	.	sadly	.	kane	picoy's	portrayal	of	nick	is	one	dimensional	and	bland	,	but	the	highlight	of	the	cast	is	paul	herman	as	nick's	hot	headed	father	,	ted	.	in	the	end	,	this	flick	has	all	the	trimmings	of	a	fourth	year	film	school	final	project	and	just	isn't	ready	for	the	big	screen	.	barbieri's	one	probably	could	have	pulled	a	b	at	ucla	,	but	at	filmcritic	.	com	it	gets	a	d	.
neg	nostalgia	for	the	70s	continues	,	as	we	see	a	revival	of	one	of	the	decade's	greatest	achievements	:	the	marijuana	comedy	.	however	half	baked	doesn't	quite	run	with	all	its	brain	cells	,	and	will	make	you	appreciate	the	questionable	talents	of	cheech	and	chong	all	the	more	.	the	plot	follows	the	misadventures	of	four	ne'er	do	well	stoners	.	there's	the	group's	unofficial	leader	,	thurgood	(	david	chappelle	)	,	scarface	(	guillermo	diaz	)	,	brian	(	jim	breuer	)	,	and	kenny	(	harland	williams	)	.	kenny	gets	into	trouble	,	when	,	while	on	a	munchie	run	,	feeds	his	snack	foods	to	a	diabetic	police	horse	.	when	the	animal	keels	over	,	he	finds	himself	accused	of	killing	a	police	officer	,	and	facing	a	1	,	000	,	000	bail	.	his	friends	promise	to	raise	money	for	a	10	bail	bond	,	but	have	no	idea	how	.	that	is	,	until	thurgood	stumbles	upon	a	stash	of	pharmaceutical	marijuana	being	tested	at	the	company	where	he	works	as	a	janitor	.	soon	the	three	guys	are	dealing	dope	to	raise	funds	,	while	avoiding	the	cops	and	rival	dealer	sampson	simpson	(	clarence	williams	iii	)	.	for	a	comedy	,	the	film	is	pretty	humorless	.	not	that	it	doesn't	try	.	.	.	it's	just	that	the	comic	setups	are	obvious	and	the	payoffs	nearly	all	fall	flat	.	the	four	leads	are	nearly	all	playing	the	same	character	.	only	williams	stands	out	(	while	still	performing	on	the	level	of	his	humor	free	comedy	rocket	man	)	,	but	that	is	because	he's	imprisoned	throughout	most	of	the	film	,	giving	a	much	needed	change	of	pace	(	but	mostly	swapping	one	set	of	obvious	gags	for	another	)	.	to	help	out	,	the	film	is	packed	full	of	cameos	.	steven	wright	,	tommy	chong	,	janeane	garofalo	,	willie	nelson	,	snoop	doggy	dogg	,	and	jon	stewart	all	make	appearances	at	one	point	or	another	.	none	of	them	work	,	beyond	the	simple	"	hey	,	that's	_____	"	level	.	in	fact	the	funniest	work	in	the	film	comes	from	chappelle	.	not	as	his	bland	pothead	lead	,	but	in	his	second	role	,	as	a	pot	obsessed	rapper	,	sir	smokealot	.	granted	,	it's	pretty	much	a	one	joke	role	,	and	there	aren't	a	ton	of	laughs	.	.	.	but	this	film	needs	every	one	it	can	scrape	up	.	to	top	it	off	,	and	in	a	move	contrasting	with	the	tone	of	the	rest	of	the	film	,	thurgood	is	given	a	love	interest	,	mary	jane	(	rachel	true	)	.	her	role	is	that	of	the	public	service	announcement	:	to	inform	us	why	doing	drugs	(	including	pot	)	is	wrong	.	her	character	seems	fabricated	merely	as	a	defense	to	the	"	your	film	promotes	the	use	of	drugs	"	camp	.	the	film	would	have	been	better	off	by	sticking	with	the	"	rebel	"	tone	it	so	eagerly	tries	to	claim	.	yet	,	in	the	end	,	it	doesn't	really	matter	.	watching	the	film	clean	and	sober	,	you	are	bound	to	recognize	how	truly	awful	it	is	.
neg	robin	williams	is	echt	zo'n	acteur	die	elke	rol	aankan	.	hij	is	o	.	a	.	dj	geweest	in	"	good	morning	vietnam	"	,	leraar	in	"	dead	poets	society	,	genie	in	"	the	world	according	to	garp	"	,	homo	in	"	the	birdcage	"	en	later	in	het	jaar	is	hij	te	zien	als	therapeut	in	"	good	will	hunting	"	,	waar	hij	een	golden	globe	nominatie	voor	kreeg	.	altijd	hyperactief	en	nooit	verlegen	voor	andere	stemmetjes	,	dat	zijn	de	kenmerken	van	williams	.	geen	wonder	dus	dat	hij	zich	in	z'n	laatste	film	,	"	flubber	"	,	helemaal	kan	uitleven	,	want	in	deze	disney	productie	speelt	hij	een	verstrooide	professor	,	compleet	met	een	bril	en	een	mooi	strikje	.	clich	dus	.	net	als	de	rest	van	de	film	.	het	gaat	niet	goed	met	professor	brainard	(	robin	williams	)	.	al	voor	de	derde	keer	is	hij	z'n	huwelijk	met	sara	jean	(	marcia	gay	harden	)	vergeten	.	de	afgelopen	dagen	is	brainard	namelijk	druk	bezig	geweest	met	het	ontwikkelen	van	een	nieuwe	stof	.	eindelijk	,	na	eindeloos	proberen	,	krijgt	hij	het	voor	elkaar	.	er	onstaat	een	stof	,	wat	uiterst	rekbaar	,	sterk	en	stuiterend	is	.	brainard	doopt	deze	stof	om	tot	'flubber'	,	vergelijkbaar	met	vliegend	rubber	.	professor	brainard	is	erg	enthousiast	over	deze	stof	en	wilt	het	al	meteen	gebruiken	voor	het	basketbalteam	van	zijn	school	.	dit	basketbalteam	,	bestaande	uit	doorsnee	nerds	,	wint	door	het	'flubber'	voor	de	eerste	keer	een	wedstrijd	.	dat	valt	natuurlijk	iedereen	op	.	ook	een	miljonair	die	de	wedstrijd	bijwoont	heeft	in	de	gaten	dat	er	iets	niet	klopt	,	dus	stuurt	hij	een	paar	handlangers	op	pad	om	erachter	te	komen	wat	het	geheim	van	het	winnende	basketbalteam	is	.	ze	belanden	bij	brainard	en	ontdekken	het	'flubber'	.	foute	boel	dus	.	het	grootste	minpunt	van	"	flubber	"	is	dat	het	zo	voorspelbaar	is	.	binnen	een	kwartier	had	ik	al	in	de	gaten	wie	de	slechterik	was	en	daarna	duurde	het	niet	zo	lang	voordat	ik	wist	hoe	de	rest	van	de	film	zou	lopen	.	alles	wat	je	in	"	flubber	"	ziet	,	heb	je	al	in	honderden	andere	films	gezien	.	het	is	duidelijk	dat	john	hughes	,	maker	van	de	"	home	alone	"	serie	,	een	vinger	in	de	pap	had	.	de	capriolen	van	de	twee	handlangers	van	de	slechterik	hangen	je	al	snel	de	keel	uit	,	mede	doordat	ze	gewoon	rechtstreeks	overgenomen	zijn	van	"	home	alone	"	.	met	het	verschil	dat	"	home	alone	"	veel	grappiger	is	.	"	flubber	"	is	de	eerste	comedy	waarbij	ik	niet	n	keer	gelachen	heb	,	het	is	zelfs	voor	een	disney	film	te	flauw	voor	woorden	.	het	enige	wat	de	film	te	bieden	heeft	,	zijn	mooie	special	effects	.	maar	of	die	je	bioscoopkaartje	waard	zijn	.	.	.
neg	summer	catch	(	2001	)	1	1	2	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	freddie	prinze	jr	.	,	jessical	biel	,	matthew	lillard	,	fred	ward	,	jason	gedrick	,	brittany	murphy	,	bruce	davison	and	brian	dennehy	.	screenplay	by	kevin	falls	and	john	gatins	.	story	by	falls	.	directed	by	mike	tollin	.	rated	pg	13	.	approx	.	110	minutes	.	summer	catch	is	a	minor	league	effort	,	nine	innings	of	banality	with	a	lineup	of	stock	situations	and	stereotypical	characters	.	this	feature	is	like	a	double	header	,	two	sets	of	clichs	for	the	price	of	one	.	not	only	do	we	get	the	usual	tired	sports	chestnuts	,	but	the	banal	rich	girl	poor	boy	love	story	is	tossed	in	for	good	measure	.	an	original	moment	in	this	loser	is	as	rare	as	a	chicago	cubs	world	series	appearance	.	the	screenplay	by	kevin	falls	and	john	gatins	,	based	on	a	story	by	falls	,	merely	lobs	its	plotline	at	the	audience	.	this	is	a	story	that	needed	sent	down	for	seasoning	and	more	coaching	.	summer	catch	centers	around	ryan	dunne	(	freddie	prinze	jr	.	)	,	a	cape	cod	youth	chosen	to	participate	in	the	prestigious	cape	cod	baseball	league	,	supposedly	a	showcase	for	the	best	young	amateur	and	college	players	in	the	country	.	ryan	is	a	blue	collar	kind	of	guy	.	he	works	with	his	dad	taking	care	of	the	lawns	of	cape	cod's	rich	and	famous	.	he	also	,	as	we	are	informed	early	,	his	own	worst	enemy	.	he	has	the	potential	and	the	talent	,	but	always	seems	to	self	destruct	at	the	crucial	moment	.	so	,	ryan	tries	to	remained	focused	on	baseball	.	then	he	meets	tenley	parrish	(	jessica	biel	)	,	daughter	of	one	of	the	blue	bloods	whose	lawn	he	manicures	.	tenley	,	a	name	only	a	hack	screenwriter	could	invent	,	is	unlike	her	snobbish	counterparts	and	falls	for	ryan	.	if	you	can't	figure	out	where	all	this	nonsense	leads	,	then	you	need	a	remedial	course	in	film	viewing	.	as	always	prinze	is	pretty	to	look	at	,	but	his	performance	mainly	consists	of	facial	expressions	:	puppy	dog	love	,	heartbreak	,	frustration	,	self	loathing	or	determination	.	biel	cries	a	lot	,	while	bruce	davison	merely	acts	smarmy	as	her	class	conscious	father	.	the	only	beacon	is	matthew	lillard's	fun	loving	billy	brubaker	,	the	team's	catcher	.	summer	catch	borrows	situations	and	stylings	from	other	baseball	movies	,	such	as	bull	durham	and	the	natural	.	no	curve	balls	here	,	no	sliders	.	every	pitch	is	predictable	.	a	blind	umpire	could	call	this	movie	.	summer	catch	is	strictly	rookie	league	moviemaking	.	it	has	as	much	chance	of	making	the	movie	hall	of	fame	as	the	dodgers	have	of	moving	back	to	brooklyn	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
neg	black	.	a	moment's	hesitation	and	then	we	see	the	word	in	simple	white	lettering	:	real	movie	buffs	will	know	that	i	am	quoting	the	third	draft	of	the	godfather	,	except	that	the	title	we	see	isn't	contact	.	in	a	moment	we	are	staring	into	a	familiar	corner	of	the	earth	rather	then	the	face	of	bonasera	.	we	look	on	for	a	moment	the	theater	is	utterly	silent	.	you	can	almost	feel	the	collective	awe	.	then	we	begin	to	pull	back	.	still	silent	.	galaxies	fly	past	us	slowly	,	spiralling	into	oblivion	.	they	look	less	like	galaxies	then	like	big	puffy	clouds	.	and	then	we	realize	what	the	movie	is	trying	to	communicate	;	that	the	universe	is	a	huge	place	that	streches	back	and	back	.	.	.	farther	then	we	can	see	or	even	imagine	.	that	we	will	never	reach	into	these	strange	corners	,	and	meet	or	find	those	that	inhabit	it	.	it's	well	communicated	.	and	when	we	are	sure	that	we	can't	go	back	further	,	we	do	.	it's	an	amazing	unbroken	shot	,	far	more	effective	then	say	the	opening	shot	of	last	year's	star	trek	:	first	contact	.	but	how	can	the	movie	top	such	a	wonderful	opening	?	i	wasn't	sure	myself	.	but	,	it	does	.	and	it's	quite	a	feat	.	the	sublime	shot	practically	a	bliss	out	is	broken	.	it	hasn't	even	happened	it	took	place	in	the	mind	of	a	young	girl	,	ellie	arroway	.	after	a	short	introduction	we	cut	to	ellie	as	an	adult	.	she	is	everything	we	want	to	be	confident	,	attractive	,	jodie	foster	.	to	be	honest	,	we	also	suspect	that	she	is	a	little	stupid	.	later	on	she	goes	to	bed	with	palmer	joss	(	matthew	mcconaughey	)	so	we	think	"	yes	,	she	is	stupid	.	just	a	little	.	"	but	we	are	wrong	.	she's	smart	we	realize	that	when	she	finally	contacts	aliens	(	in	a	thrilling	scene	)	.	through	a	series	of	beautifully	staged	events	she	finds	herself	in	a	space	ship	(	well	,	sorta	)	about	to	be	transported	to	the	star	vega	.	and	she	is	.	.	.	oh	yes	,	she	is	.	when	she	arrives	there	you	are	struck	by	the	beautiful	vision	of	a	far	away	planet	,	in	all	it's	glory	.	gentle	waves	lap	on	the	shore	.	.	.	you	are	awe	struck	.	how	can	director	robert	zemeckis	live	up	to	all	of	our	excpectations	when	he	finally	shows	us	aliens	?	he	does	.	the	film	is	glorious	.	i	have	now	seen	contact	twice	,	and	i	loved	it	both	times	.	it's	not	quite	2001	:	a	space	oddessey	,	e	.	t	,	or	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	.	who	cares	?	do	we	mark	it	down	because	of	that	?	rarely	has	a	film	astounded	me	on	so	many	rare	and	diverse	levels	.	contact	is	a	masterpiece	and	an	achievement	.	the	last	shot	tops	off	everything	else	and	brings	the	picture	to	a	wonderful	and	amazing	conclusion	.	intelligently	scripted	(	gasp	!	)	with	characters	we	(	gasp	again	!	)	identify	with	,	understand	and	like	.	contact	is	a	most	remarkable	film	.	it	is	also	a	spectacle	be	sure	to	see	it	on	the	big	screen	.	the	greatest	films	the	godfather	,	casablanca	,	singin'	in	the	rain	,	vertigo	,	citizen	kane	,	psycho	,	the	world	of	apu	,	cast	spells	.	but	the	90s	has	been	a	bit	short	on	films	like	the	ones	i	decsribe	.	contact	breaks	the	trend	.	i	can't	say	that	about	barry	sonenfield's	men	in	black	,	which	is	pretty	bad	.	the	first	scene	is	probably	the	best	;	the	credits	sequence	is	spectacular	and	good	fun	,	and	the	special	effects	are	dazzling	.	i	saw	men	in	black	twice	,	(	an	accident	it's	not	the	kind	of	film	you	would	like	to	see	more	then	once	.	the	second	time	was	at	a	double	feature	with	the	mediocre	julia	roberts	comedy	,	"	my	best	friend's	wedding	"	which	has	a	review	below	)	and	i	found	comparing	my	reactions	more	interesting	then	thinking	about	the	movie	.	the	first	time	i	liked	the	movie	,	but	was	dissapointed	by	danny	elfman's	score	.	the	second	time	i	found	the	movie	stupid	and	sappy	just	barely	watchable	made	more	so	by	the	score	which	,	this	time	,	i	liked	.	yet	the	score	is	never	as	overwhelming	as	it	is	in	his	tim	burton	films	(	the	best	of	his	scores	can	be	found	in	batman	,	edward	scissorhands	,	and	the	nightmare	before	christmas	which	was	not	directed	by	burton	but	was	concieved	by	him	.	blah	,	blah	,	blah	)	.	sonenfield	is	,	undoubtedly	,	the	wrong	choice	for	director	.	so	if	i	you	are	gonna	keep	talking	who	would	you	elect	?	my	candidate	is	tim	burton	who	would	have	made	this	a	masterpiece	(	as	steven	spielberg	would	have	made	contact	one	of	the	best	films	ever	.	pity	he	didn't	direct	that	rather	then	the	lost	world	which	was	entertaining	and	accomplished	what	it	wanted	to	)	.	i'm	also	a	bit	sorry	to	say	that	the	sense	of	humor	this	film	celebrates	doesn't	apeal	to	me	.	i	would	have	preffered	a	spoof	of	old	alien	movies	of	the	50s	with	the	aliens	invisible	,	yet	causing	mayhem	.	to	be	fair	,	there	are	two	excellent	scenes	shots	.	the	first	is	when	will	smith	is	first	transformed	into	agent	k	.	i	won't	say	how	it	is	done	,	but	i	will	say	that	is	a	comic	moment	,	and	it	is	truly	inspired	.	the	second	is	the	films	last	shot	,	a	remarkable	pull	back	that	is	a	fancy	less	magical	and	mysterious	,	but	still	fun	take	on	the	last	shot	of	contact	.	if	the	rest	of	the	film	had	been	that	good	,	and	had	that	impact	,	we	would	have	been	on	to	something	.	i	loved	contact	.	i	disliked	men	in	black	.	i	have	no	feelings	towards	my	best	friend's	wedding	.	it	is	a	julia	roberts	comedy	.	it	is	what	you	would	excpect	a	julia	roberts	comedy	to	be	,	only	a	little	better	.	it	isn't	that	bad	it's	a	bit	of	fluff	.	if	you	are	sick	of	event	movies	then	see	it	now	.	julia	roberts	is	good	very	good	,	and	it	begins	wonderfully	.	then	it	degenerates	into	a	formualic	mess	.	it	has	the	best	scene	of	the	year	,	featuring	the	dazzling	vocal	talents	of	cameron	diaz	.	it	has	another	great	scene	which	involves	a	musical	number	that	takes	place	inside	of	a	resteraunt	.	otherwize	it's	the	kind	of	film	that	is	pleasent	and	fun	.	to	snooze	through	.	but	,	hey	it	could	have	been	worse	.	it	is	worth	noting	that	apart	from	contact	,	hercules	is	the	only	other	really	good	film	i	have	seen	this	year	.	it	is	far	more	sophisticated	then	your	average	con	air	.	naturally	it's	doing	dismally	at	the	box	office	.	frankly	,	i'm	not	suprised	at	all	.	just	depressed	.	i	also	think	that	1997	will	be	remembered	as	one	of	the	great	years	for	movies	.	not	for	new	movies	but	for	old	ones	.	reissue	galore	!	the	films	being	released	are	mostly	bad	,	but	this	is	a	movie	lover's	dream	!	coming	soon	,	reviews	of	three	classics	seen	on	the	big	screen	:	the	neverending	story	(	well	it	should	be	a	classic	)	,	the	godfather	,	and	vertigo	.	also	:	the	greatest	american	comedy	(	not	counting	chaplin	)	,	some	like	it	hot	.	check	out	max	and	micah's	movie	page	a	href	"	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	garfieldlib	.	com	yanews	july97	max	max	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	garfieldlib	.	com	yanews	july97	max	max	.	html	a	here	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	bradley	null	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	2806678910bd05a588256896002ac2e9	?	opendocument	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	2806678910bd05a588256896002ac2e9	?	opendocument	a	if	you've	ever	found	yourself	in	a	theater	watching	a	movie	like	throw	momma	from	the	train	or	don't	tell	mom	the	babysitter's	dead	,	then	you'll	understand	my	experience	with	drowning	mona	.	drowning	mona	is	one	of	those	films	that	you	might	hear	about	and	shrug	it	off	as	a	bad	idea	.	then	you'll	see	a	trailer	and	realize	that	your	first	instinct	was	right	.	there	is	no	logical	reason	for	you	to	ever	see	this	movie	.	it	looks	unfunny	,	moronic	,	and	you	have	already	crossed	it	off	the	list	of	all	the	movies	you	are	potentially	interested	in	ever	investing	your	time	in	.	but	despite	all	of	that	,	you	somehow	end	up	forking	over	eight	bucks	for	the	privilege	to	see	it	.	and	your	worst	fears	are	realized	.	suffice	it	to	say	that	drowning	mona	is	a	bad	film	.	it	is	a	very	bad	film	.	let	us	count	the	ways	.	first	,	there	is	the	plot	.	everybody	hates	mona	.	mona	gets	killed	.	and	the	question	is	not	who	did	it	,	but	who	didn't	do	it	.	as	far	as	this	plot	goes	,	let	me	just	ask	,	can	anybody	think	of	a	good	whodunit	black	comedy	?	hell	,	the	trouble	with	harry	was	alfred	hitchcock's	worst	movie	.	i'll	even	go	so	far	as	to	say	that	it's	simply	not	wise	to	attempt	to	conjure	any	sort	of	comedy	out	of	movies	about	mean	and	or	dead	women	.	anyone	who	has	seen	either	of	the	two	movies	cited	above	should	understand	this	concern	.	in	the	particular	case	of	mona	,	it	seems	to	be	an	important	element	of	the	plot	and	theme	of	the	movie	that	nobody	seems	to	care	who	killed	mona	.	they	are	just	glad	that	she	is	dead	.	well	,	i	ask	,	if	nobody	in	the	movie	cares	,	then	why	the	hell	would	we	?	the	second	problem	with	the	film	is	the	characters	and	the	acting	.	the	actors	were	actually	the	reason	i	talked	myself	into	seeing	this	film	in	the	first	place	.	i	mean	sure	,	danny	devito	and	bette	midler	have	a	tendency	to	not	discriminate	when	it	comes	to	scripts	.	and	they	also	have	a	tendency	to	sink	to	the	level	of	their	material	.	but	here	we	had	jamie	lee	curtis	,	william	fichtner	,	casey	affleck	,	and	will	ferrell	,	all	actors	whom	i	before	had	thought	either	had	some	talent	or	were	at	the	very	least	a	little	funny	.	but	none	of	them	pulled	it	off	here	.	affleck	particularly	,	who	was	hilarious	in	good	will	hunting	,	turns	in	a	conspicuously	morose	performance	as	the	good	kid	that	turns	into	the	prime	suspect	.	fichtner	has	the	sole	funny	line	in	the	script	.	ferrell	,	as	the	funeral	home	director	,	trying	to	pull	off	yet	another	variation	of	his	saturday	night	live	stock	character	(	half	shifty	,	half	outright	weird	)	,	just	can't	seem	to	suck	enough	out	of	the	script	to	generate	a	single	laugh	.	the	third	problem	with	the	film	is	the	theme	,	otherwise	known	as	the	point	.	to	put	it	bluntly	,	this	movie	has	no	point	.	so	just	in	case	your	best	judgment	has	left	you	and	you	find	yourself	standing	at	the	ticket	booth	.	maybe	everything	else	is	sold	out	.	maybe	you	feel	a	sudden	compulsion	to	experience	the	entire	oeuvre	of	bette	midler	.	maybe	you're	just	not	thinking	.	please	,	do	not	see	this	movie	.	if	movies	like	this	perform	poorly	enough	at	the	box	office	,	maybe	we	won't	be	subjected	to	any	more	of	them	.	that's	my	public	service	announcement	for	the	month	.	black	comedy	is	hard	.	only	the	select	few	,	like	the	coen	brothers	or	stanley	kubrick	seem	to	be	able	to	pull	it	off	.	please	note	that	none	of	them	had	anything	to	do	with	this	film	.
neg	as	far	as	"	mystery	men	"	is	concerned	,	the	burning	question	is	less	"	is	it	really	as	bad	as	it	looks	from	the	trailer	?	"	(	the	answer	there	is	an	unequivocal	"	yes	"	)	and	more	"	how	in	the	name	of	sweet	jesus	did	first	time	director	kinka	usher	get	such	a	first	rate	cast	to	act	in	this	muck	?	"	"	mystery	men	"	features	greg	kinnear	as	the	heavily	sponsored	captain	amazing	and	geoffrey	rush	as	his	arch	nemesis	(	singular	)	casanova	frankenstein	.	a	veritable	police	lineup	of	hot	hollywood	talent	plays	the	superhero	wannabes	of	the	title	,	who	join	forces	to	get	c	.	amazing	out	of	a	tight	spot	when	c	.	frankenstein	puts	the	screws	on	champion	city	.	there's	william	h	.	macy	as	the	mild	mannered	shoveler	,	hank	azaria	as	the	cutlery	flinging	blue	raja	(	no	knives	,	but	a	phony	english	accent	that's	just	as	sharp	)	,	ben	stiller	as	mr	.	furious	(	whose	only	power	seems	to	be	his	ability	to	get	hot	under	the	collar	)	,	janeane	garofalo	as	a	crazed	bowler	with	her	father's	skull	interestingly	preserved	,	wes	studi	as	a	rhetoric	spouting	cowled	avenger	,	and	kel	mitchell	as	the	token	(	and	,	adding	insult	to	injury	,	invisible	!	)	black	guy	.	bringing	up	the	rear	,	so	to	speak	,	is	paul	reubens	(	yes	,	that's	pee	wee	herman	paul	reubens	)	as	.	.	.	well	,	let's	just	call	him	the	gas	man	.	the	production	design	is	overblown	,	the	special	effects	are	overdone	,	and	the	script	(	based	on	bob	burden's	"	dark	horse	"	comic	book	series	)	is	overbaked	.	the	appealing	actors	are	uniformly	good	and	stiller	is	even	stellar	,	but	they	can't	begin	to	save	"	mystery	men	"	it's	just	one	big	mess	.	you're	better	off	renting	the	video	and	pressing	fast	forward	to	get	to	the	funny	bits	.	i	believe	i	counted	three	.
neg	rating	:	(	out	of	four	)	new	line	1	:	46	1999	r	(	language	,	violence	,	clothed	sex	)	cast	:	charlize	theron	;	johnny	depp	;	joe	morton	;	clea	duvall	;	donna	murphy	;	nick	cassavetes	;	blair	brown	director	:	rand	ravich	screenplay	:	rand	ravich	hr	in	"	the	astronaut's	wife	,	"	charlize	theron	plays	a	young	woman	with	a	nervous	demeanor	,	pixie	hairdo	and	demon	spawn	unwittingly	growing	in	her	belly	.	if	only	her	name	wasn't	jillian	,	the	makers	of	this	embarrassing	bit	of	sci	fi	shlock	could	have	come	up	with	a	far	more	appropriate	title	:	"	rosemary's	species	.	"	what	a	shame	it	is	to	see	such	a	gifted	actress	as	theron	oscar	worthy	in	"	the	devil's	advocate	"	struggle	with	the	lamest	rip	off	of	a	screendom	classic	in	recent	memory	.	ok	,	maybe	"	the	astronaut's	wife	"	deviates	from	"	rosemary's	baby	"	turf	for	its	set	up	,	which	finds	our	heroine	terrorized	not	by	satan's	minions	but	her	possessed	husband	(	johnny	depp	)	,	a	shuttle	pilot	whose	mission	mishap	leaves	him	,	um	,	a	changed	man	.	predictably	,	he	and	the	missus	get	it	on	in	a	sequence	best	described	as	unpleasant	,	his	evil	seed	impregnating	her	with	twins	and	realizing	that	great	"	bowfinger	"	line	about	"	alien	love	.	"	theron's	"	advocate	"	character	faced	a	similar	dilemma	,	the	horror	there	resonating	strongly	.	"	astronaut	"	provides	only	artificial	anxiety	.	last	year's	equally	noodle	headed	"	species	ii	"	spun	a	similar	premise	about	the	breeding	habits	of	an	extraterrestrial	on	earth	,	but	at	least	that	movie	more	or	less	knew	it	was	garbage	.	"	the	astronaut's	wife	"	is	grave	and	humor	free	,	passing	its	increasingly	silly	story	off	as	full	fledged	serious	,	right	down	to	an	ambiguous	finale	that	isn't	even	going	to	satisfy	those	who've	stayed	with	it	thus	far	.	here's	a	hint	:	it	involves	lots	of	water	,	electrical	equipment	,	a	special	effect	from	"	the	abyss	"	and	the	tots	who	doubled	up	as	adam	sandler's	co	star	in	"	big	daddy	.	"	draw	your	own	conclusions	.	director	writer	rand	ravich	coats	the	proceedings	in	dynamic	sights	masterminded	by	legendary	"	e	.	t	.	"	cinematographer	allen	daviau	,	but	too	often	favors	the	film's	visual	presentation	over	the	story	he's	trying	to	tell	.	this	bodes	horribly	for	each	dramatic	development	,	like	the	surfacing	of	a	suspicious	nasa	official	(	"	speed	"	's	joe	morton	)	to	instigate	jill's	slow	and	stupid	comprehension	of	the	truth	.	his	hyper	erratic	behavior	is	probably	supposed	to	give	wife	a	paranoid	edge	.	instead	,	he	adds	to	the	phoniness	.	theron	and	depp	are	certainly	beyond	this	junk	and	will	get	other	chances	to	prove	themselves	this	fall	she	as	part	of	an	imposing	ensemble	case	in	the	john	irving	adaptation	"	cider	house	rules	,	"	he	in	the	lead	of	tim	burton's	eagerly	awaited	"	sleepy	hollow	.	"	undeserving	of	such	talent	,	"	the	astronaut's	wife	"	manages	to	be	derivative	,	dull	and	uninvolving	despite	its	seemingly	ripe	potential	for	unintentional	laughs	.	in	space	,	no	one	can	hear	you	scream	.	but	in	a	movie	theatre	,	everyone	can	hear	you	snore	.	hr	1999	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	the	best	possible	argument	for	including	a	shot	of	bruce	willis'	genitals	would	have	been	that	the	movie	,	after	all	,	contains	everything	else	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	color	of	night	"
neg	cast	:	dustin	hoffman	,	sharon	stone	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	liev	schreiber	,	peter	coyote	director	:	barry	levinson	producers	:	michael	crichton	and	barry	levinson	screenplay	:	stephen	hauser	and	paul	attanasio	based	on	the	novel	by	michael	crichton	cinematography	:	adam	greenberg	music	:	elliot	goldenthal	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	warner	brothers	by	trying	to	satisfy	every	kind	of	viewer	,	it's	possible	that	sphere	may	end	up	pleasing	no	one	.	action	lovers	will	be	bored	by	what	they	will	see	as	an	interminably	boring	setup	.	audience	members	who	crave	more	intellectual	fare	will	be	disgusted	by	the	film's	sudden	collapse	into	mindless	storytelling	and	by	the	ending	,	which	is	an	insulting	cop	out	.	somewhere	out	there	,	maybe	there's	a	small	cadre	of	film	goers	who	will	appreciate	sphere's	dubious	charms	,	but	i'm	not	among	them	.	i	sincerely	hope	the	novel	is	better	than	the	movie	(	i	no	longer	read	anything	by	either	michael	crichton	or	john	grisham	)	,	because	if	the	finished	motion	picture	product	is	anything	to	go	by	,	it's	hard	to	understand	why	the	rights	were	optioned	.	sphere	is	the	kind	of	first	class	mess	that	only	a	top	line	director	with	an	a	list	cast	can	create	.	with	expectations	high	(	and	how	could	they	not	be	,	considering	that	another	barry	levinson	dustin	hoffman	collaboration	,	the	excellent	wag	the	dog	,	is	still	playing	in	theaters	?	)	,	something	this	bad	can't	help	but	look	even	worse	.	the	last	time	a	big	name	,	big	budget	film	displayed	this	level	of	ineptitude	was	last	year's	batman	robin	,	and	everyone	knows	how	that	movie	was	received	.	sphere	starts	out	a	little	like	an	amalgamation	of	contact	and	james	cameron's	the	abyss	,	but	,	somewhere	along	the	way	,	it	collapses	into	the	cellar	with	another	recent	science	fiction	effort	,	event	horizon	.	science	and	philosophy	,	which	are	used	to	good	effect	during	sphere's	first	hour	,	give	way	to	mindless	,	confusing	action	sequences	.	attempts	at	characterization	fall	apart	.	intelligent	writing	,	which	is	evident	early	on	,	is	replaced	by	hackneyed	drivel	.	special	effects	take	over	as	the	plotline	devolves	into	incoherent	silliness	.	but	all	that	is	just	in	preparation	for	the	ending	,	which	is	inexcusably	awful	.	this	is	the	time	honored	deus	ex	machina	device	used	to	its	worst	effect	.	i	left	the	theater	feeling	cheated	by	the	way	crichton	and	his	screenwriters	had	chosen	to	end	the	film	.	there	is	some	promise	,	but	it's	all	in	the	setup	.	we're	introduced	to	norman	goodman	(	dustin	hoffman	)	,	a	psychologist	who	once	wrote	a	35	,	000	report	for	the	government	about	what	to	do	in	the	event	that	a	crashed	space	ship	is	discovered	.	when	one	is	found	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	,	1000	feet	below	the	surface	of	the	pacific	ocean	,	norman	is	called	in	to	be	part	of	the	welcoming	committee	.	on	the	team	with	him	are	beth	halperin	(	sharon	stone	)	,	a	biochemist	who	was	once	his	student	and	lover	;	harry	adams	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	a	mathematician	who	earned	his	first	doctorate	at	the	age	of	18	;	ted	fielding	(	liev	schreiber	)	,	an	astrophysicist	who	is	awed	by	the	opportunity	to	explore	alien	technology	;	and	harold	barnes	(	peter	coyote	)	,	the	government	operative	in	charge	of	the	mission	.	together	,	the	five	descend	into	the	bowels	of	the	ocean	,	where	they	rendezvous	with	a	temporary	sea	base	on	the	ocean	floor	from	which	they	will	attempt	to	make	first	contact	.	for	a	while	,	sphere	had	me	fooled	into	thinking	it	was	going	to	take	an	astute	approach	to	the	man	meets	alien	situation	.	the	overall	scenario	is	not	without	promise	and	several	plot	twists	(	such	as	the	revelation	that	the	enormous	craft	is	actually	an	american	space	ship	,	apparently	from	the	future	)	offer	intriguing	possibilities	.	then	,	right	around	the	one	hour	mark	(	that's	the	time	to	sneak	into	the	theater	next	door	and	check	out	whatever's	left	of	titanic	)	,	the	virtually	non	stop	action	begins	,	and	,	once	it	starts	,	the	script	becomes	superfluous	.	this	might	be	acceptable	if	director	levinson	generated	some	legitimate	tension	,	but	,	instead	,	he	relies	on	loud	,	overbearing	music	,	strange	camera	angles	,	and	quick	cuts	to	make	things	"	exciting	.	"	additionally	,	because	none	of	the	characters	are	well	formed	(	a	common	failing	in	anything	penned	by	crichton	,	who's	more	interested	in	technology	than	people	)	,	viewers	don't	develop	much	of	a	rooting	interest	.	it	makes	sitting	through	sphere	a	frustrating	and	pointless	experience	.	what	about	that	a	list	cast	?	not	surprisingly	,	the	most	energetic	performance	is	given	by	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	but	his	harry	isn't	a	person	;	he's	a	walking	plot	device	spouting	occasionally	witty	dialogue	.	dustin	hoffman	isn't	lively	or	particularly	good	it's	ironic	that	this	,	which	may	be	his	worst	work	in	a	decade	,	has	arrived	in	theaters	on	the	heels	of	his	best	actor	nomination	(	for	wag	the	dog	)	.	sharon	stone	and	peter	coyote	are	both	flat	.	their	characters	exhibit	little	evidence	of	emotion	;	automatons	would	have	been	as	effective	.	then	there's	queen	latifa	,	who	,	despite	getting	fifth	billing	in	the	credits	(	ahead	of	liev	schreiber	,	who	boasts	at	least	quadruple	her	screen	time	)	,	has	less	than	a	handful	of	lines	and	almost	nothing	to	do	other	than	inflate	the	body	count	.	i	like	to	think	that	levinson	and	hoffman	,	recognizing	how	uninspired	this	movie	was	likely	to	be	,	chose	to	make	wag	the	dog	as	a	sort	of	penance	(	the	low	budget	picture	was	filmed	during	sphere's	lengthy	pre	production	phase	)	.	if	that's	the	case	,	forgiveness	is	granted	.	i'm	less	inclined	to	look	favorably	upon	crichton	,	although	he	has	a	few	enjoyable	titles	on	his	resume	(	jurassic	park	and	the	levinson	directed	disclosure	come	to	mind	)	.	even	if	his	novel	was	butchered	in	the	adaptation	process	,	crichton's	credit	as	a	producer	disallows	him	absolution	.	he	was	a	willing	participant	in	a	creative	travesty	.	no	wonder	sphere	is	being	released	in	february	,	in	the	midst	of	the	early	year's	cinematic	wasteland	.	it	deserves	no	better	than	to	get	sunk	by	the	unstoppable	titanic	,	which	should	plow	sphere	under	on	its	way	to	a	ninth	consecutive	weekend	atop	the	box	office	heap	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	jeremiah	kipp	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c0d27d402232edf3882569740004ddd7	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c0d27d402232edf3882569740004ddd7	?	opendocument	a	imagine	trainspotting	without	any	trace	of	humor	and	you're	on	the	right	track	.	picture	pasolini's	salo	:	120	days	of	sodom	shot	by	some	mtv	music	video	kid	interested	in	the	novelty	of	his	new	camera	.	darren	aronofsky	(	pi	)	stacks	one	degrading	sight	atop	another	without	implicating	the	viewer	,	nor	providing	any	framework	or	reference	for	his	visual	rape	of	his	audience	all	smoke	and	mirrors	disguising	a	great	,	vapid	emptiness	.	for	starters	,	i've	never	seen	coney	island	junkies	who	look	as	pretty	as	harry	(	jared	leto	)	and	tyrone	(	marlon	wayans	)	,	who	bear	a	passing	resemblance	to	the	kids	from	calvin	klein	ads	.	they're	drug	dealers	who	have	high	aspirations	,	saving	their	earnings	for	a	better	tomorrow	.	placing	all	their	cash	in	a	locker	,	they	sit	under	the	boardwalk	smoking	up	and	dreaming	their	grandiose	dreams	.	too	bad	they	get	high	too	often	off	their	own	supply	.	the	good	times	can't	last	forever	.	the	drug	use	scenes	are	done	in	vivid	smash	cuts	showing	dilating	pupils	,	squeezing	needles	,	the	sizzle	of	white	powder	cooked	in	a	spoon	.	we	never	see	these	kids	shoot	up	rather	,	we	see	abstract	images	.	every	time	this	technique	appears	,	it's	too	flashy	and	aware	of	its	own	experimental	filmmaking	approach	,	a	purely	stylistic	flourish	.	kronos	quartet	wrote	the	driving	,	thumping	,	angry	,	brutal	violin	score	which	drums	like	a	hammer	and	chain	beating	you	into	submission	.	harry	,	tyrone	,	and	their	ambitious	if	drug	addled	friend	marion	(	a	very	good	jennifer	connelly	)	,	who	could	be	a	great	designer	were	it	not	for	her	plunge	into	addiction	,	eventually	become	slaves	to	their	own	destructive	destinies	.	they	run	out	of	money	,	and	in	the	second	half	of	the	movie	they	move	through	a	bleak	winter	,	suffering	the	eternal	torments	of	the	damned	.	each	situation	is	set	up	so	neatly	,	we're	certain	where	the	path	will	lead	.	harry	sports	a	nasty	welt	on	his	arm	which	doesn't	look	so	good	.	tyrone	discovers	that	maybe	that	trip	to	florida	to	track	down	some	fresh	supply	was	a	bad	idea	since	them	southern	boys	don't	like	colored	folk	.	marion	eventually	telephones	a	sadistic	pimp	(	keith	david	)	and	sells	her	body	for	drugs	.	the	movie's	first	scene	involves	harry	stealing	his	mom's	television	set	.	she	can	always	go	right	down	the	block	in	half	an	hour	and	buy	it	back	.	that's	their	adorable	dog	and	pony	show	,	and	poor	sara	goldfarb	(	ellen	burstyn	)	is	too	nice	,	too	soft	around	the	edges	,	so	apathetic	she	won't	do	anything	about	it	.	her	husband	is	dead	,	harry	is	all	she's	got	left	.	ellen	burstyn	is	so	good	,	so	unglamorous	and	believable	as	a	brighton	beach	jewish	mama	,	that	she	shines	through	aronofsky's	bag	of	tricks	and	delivers	a	strong	,	sad	,	comic	performance	.	at	first	,	sara	seems	to	share	the	addiction	of	the	film's	other	characters	,	endlessly	watching	her	television	,	but	when	she	gets	a	surprise	phone	call	asking	her	to	appear	on	a	tv	show	she	realizes	she's	too	overweight	to	fit	into	the	red	dress	her	husband	once	admired	her	in	.	she	goes	on	a	diet	.	unfortunately	for	the	audience	,	midway	through	we	realize	that	sara's	in	trouble	.	she's	gone	to	a	quack	doctor	for	some	diet	pills	,	which	turn	out	to	be	speed	.	she's	gnashing	her	teeth	in	no	time	,	and	the	worst	is	yet	to	come	.	sara's	refrigerator	starts	roaring	like	a	lion	as	the	images	become	fuzzy	and	,	well	,	straight	out	of	terry	gilliam's	superior	fear	and	loathing	in	las	vegas	.	in	short	order	,	sara	wears	the	same	junkie	shoes	as	her	younger	co	stars	.	while	it's	painful	to	watch	a	harmless	old	woman	descend	into	the	circle	of	hell	,	she	could	easily	have	escaped	it	by	going	to	another	doctor	for	a	second	opinion	.	some	critics	are	sure	to	fawn	over	requiem	.	it	goes	further	than	most	films	into	uncomfortable	territory	,	and	the	spinning	visuals	are	technically	accomplished	.	i'm	sure	darren	aronofsky's	courage	will	be	extolled	yes	,	it's	so	bold	to	show	human	misery	without	sympathy	or	understanding	.	i'm	not	against	violence	or	torture	onscreen	.	the	best	film	to	compare	requiem	to	is	pasolini's	salo	.	wisely	,	pasolini	used	restraint	with	his	camera	and	simply	filmed	people	being	sexually	abused	and	beaten	without	showy	fanfare	.	salo	creates	a	hollow	,	disturbing	feeling	of	helplessness	.	ultimately	,	aronofsky	lacks	that	crucial	insight	when	showing	the	nature	of	horror	.	his	gaze	feels	inexperienced	.	perhaps	young	filmmakers	should	not	attempt	to	tackle	the	bleak	world	before	they	have	had	a	chance	to	go	through	it	themselves	.	(	salo	was	pasolini's	final	film	;	mike	leigh's	bleak	naked	was	made	when	he	was	middle	aged	.	)	once	we	get	past	the	notion	that	addiction	is	a	horrible	thing	(	which	i	don't	believe	is	news	to	anyone	who	will	watch	requiem	for	a	dream	)	,	the	question	remains	:	what	purpose	does	this	film	serve	?	let	me	know	if	you	figure	it	out	.
neg	1	2	(	out	of	4	poor	)	1992	,	pg	13	,	91	minutes	1	hour	,	31	minutes	comedy	starring	:	rodney	dangerfield	(	chester	)	,	jonathon	brandis	(	matthew	)	,	jackee	(	julie	)	,	ilene	graff	(	bess	)	,	written	by	curtis	burch	,	produced	by	albert	s	.	ruddy	,	andre	e	.	morgan	,	directed	by	sidney	j	.	furie	.	"	ladybugs	"	is	a	typical	comedy	that	relies	on	three	supposed	guarantees	:	the	pathetic	team	who	beats	the	champs	;	cross	dressing	;	and	the	presence	of	rodney	dangerfield	.	this	picture	doesn't	play	like	a	comedy	for	children	,	so	who	is	it	aimed	at	?	and	why	is	it	told	like	a	91	minute	sit	com	instead	of	a	feature	film	?	rodney	dangerfield	stars	as	chester	lee	,	a	total	schmuck	working	at	a	huge	corporation	.	he	obviously	doesn't	have	a	lot	of	self	esteem	and	thinks	he	has	to	kiss	up	to	get	ahead	,	which	he	does	by	volunteering	to	coach	the	company's	girls'	soccer	team	.	what	a	shock	to	learn	chester	and	his	assistant	julie	(	jackee	)	know	absolutely	nothing	about	the	game	,	and	the	players	seem	to	know	even	less	.	i	didn't	laugh	,	but	for	some	reason	it	didn't	annoy	me	that	much	.	chester's	fiancee	bess	(	graff	)	thinks	he	got	a	promotion	in	addition	to	the	coaching	position	,	and	of	course	she	has	a	slacker	for	a	son	who	is	doing	poorly	in	school	and	is	kicked	off	the	sports	teams	.	jonathon	brandis	is	a	nice	surprise	as	matthew	,	who	agrees	to	dress	up	as	a	girl	named	martha	to	help	out	chester	(	probably	because	the	girl	he	has	a	crush	on	plays	on	the	team	what	original	story	ideas	!	)	.	what	we	get	is	just	another	retread	of	the	"	underdog	sports	team	"	mixed	with	some	cross	dressing	.	unfortunately	,	the	film	isn't	smart	enough	to	play	upon	the	drag	aspect	.	in	fact	,	it	downplays	it	so	heavily	it's	totally	unbelievable	.	could	it	be	any	more	obvious	martha	is	a	boy	?	he	only	wears	a	girl's	wig	,	without	any	makeup	,	and	they	don't	even	give	him	falsies	.	brandis	doesn't	bother	to	mimic	a	girl's	voice	either	.	then	there	is	a	pointless	scene	where	chester	and	matthew	shop	for	a	dress	,	but	for	what	reason	?	martha	is	only	seen	on	the	soccer	field	,	why	would	they	buy	a	dress	for	her	?	just	when	we	think	the	martha	character	is	going	to	be	useful	,	she	disappears	,	and	the	story	wanders	aimlessly	looking	for	a	new	plot	to	pick	up	on	.	when	bess	discovers	what's	really	going	on	she	breaks	up	with	chester	,	and	the	relationship	is	forgotten	about	and	the	film	focuses	on	the	soccer	team	and	the	tension	between	chester	and	his	boss	.	this	film	could've	been	less	bad	had	it	been	the	cliche	sports	comedy	,	but	it	feels	the	need	to	go	off	on	tangents	that	are	completely	unnecessary	(	and	bad	at	that	)	.	there's	just	too	much	of	a	sit	com	feel	here	,	especially	during	the	so	called	serious	moments	,	and	all	the	confusion	between	the	characters	.	i've	seen	worse	movies	than	"	ladybugs	,	"	but	for	some	reason	it	contained	some	sort	of	bizarre	charm	,	so	even	when	it	turns	sour	it	doesn't	seem	as	bad	as	it	is	.	dangerfield	finally	gets	his	respect	in	the	end	,	but	at	what	a	price	.	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a
neg	directed	by	brian	helgeland	.	cast	:	mel	gibson	,	gregg	henry	,	maria	bello	,	david	paymer	,	william	devane	,	lucy	alexis	liu	,	bill	duke	,	deborah	kara	unger	,	kris	kristofferson	.	1999	102	minutes	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	profanity	,	sexual	situations	,	and	blood	)	.	reviewed	february	6	,	1999	.	"	payback	,	"	brian	helgeland's	inauspicious	directing	debut	(	coincidentally	,	he	previously	penned	the	award	winning	screenplay	for	1997's	"	l	.	a	.	confidential	"	)	,	is	a	wildly	uneven	and	thoroughly	unpleasant	revenge	thriller	that	takes	one	idea	a	movie	with	non	stop	violence	,	death	,	and	villains	and	runs	with	it	,	or	should	i	say	,	barely	manages	to	crawl	away	with	it	.	mel	gibson	,	in	yet	another	disappointing	picture	(	"	conspiracy	theory	"	and	"	lethal	weapon	4	,	"	anyone	?	)	,	stars	as	the	reprehensible	villain	hero	,	porter	,	a	man	who	becomes	determined	to	get	his	50	share	of	140	,	000	,	which	he	stole	in	a	robbery	,	back	when	his	partner	in	crime	(	gregg	henry	)	and	drug	addicted	wife	(	deborah	kara	unger	)	double	cross	him	,	shoot	him	,	and	leave	him	for	dead	.	porter	is	not	dead	,	however	not	by	a	long	shot	as	he	quickly	rehabilitates	and	,	along	with	his	loyal	prositute	girlfriend	,	rosie	(	maria	bello	)	,	sets	out	to	make	everyone	involved	in	the	scam	pay	.	the	tagline	for	"	payback	"	is	,	"	get	ready	to	root	for	the	bad	guy	,	"	and	sure	enough	,	this	is	true	,	as	pretty	much	every	significant	character	who	appears	is	crooked	in	some	way	.	i	wouldn't	have	a	problem	with	this	offbeat	detail	if	the	painfully	thin	story	had	been	of	any	interest	,	but	it	wasn't	,	and	therefore	,	i	found	myself	having	an	especially	laborious	time	investing	myself	into	a	wide	array	of	character	that	have	absolutely	no	redeeming	qualities	whatsoever	.	no	attempt	is	made	to	flesh	the	roles	into	three	dimensional	characters	,	and	there	are	no	vacant	signs	that	anyone	has	any	sort	of	humanity	in	them	.	just	because	the	protagonist	,	a	"	bad	guy	,	"	is	played	by	mel	gibson	doesn't	mean	i	will	"	root	for	him	,	"	and	i	didn't	.	quite	the	contrary	,	every	person	in	the	movie	deserved	to	die	a	gory	death	(	although	some	of	them	did	,	anyway	,	just	to	spice	up	the	dull	proceedings	)	.	since	none	of	the	respectable	actors	in	"	payback	"	actually	have	human	beings	to	play	,	only	one	performance	managed	to	stand	out	.	lucy	alexis	liu	(	of	t	.	v	.	's	"	ally	mcbeal	"	)	,	who	plays	a	spicy	s	m	dominatrix	,	brightens	up	every	scene	she	is	in	,	and	has	a	definite	flair	for	comedy	,	something	i	would	have	liked	to	have	seen	more	of	,	since	most	of	the	humor	fell	with	a	resounding	splat	.	meanwhile	,	gibson	,	who	is	perfectly	fine	here	,	sleepwalks	through	a	role	that	is	not	the	least	bit	challenging	.	unger	,	who	made	an	impression	in	1997's	"	the	game	,	"	is	surprisingly	wasted	and	it	is	difficult	to	see	why	she	took	such	a	part	since	she	disappears	ten	minutes	in	,	and	only	has	two	purproses	:	(	1	)	to	get	high	on	heroin	,	and	(	2	)	because	she	plays	a	key	part	in	an	early	flashback	.	finally	,	kris	kristofferson	appears	in	a	throwaway	role	during	the	climax	,	and	this	unnecessary	plot	development	sticks	out	like	a	sore	thumb	(	tellingly	,	he	didn't	appear	in	the	original	cut	of	the	film	,	but	was	cast	when	extensive	reshoots	took	place	months	later	)	.	like	most	action	movies	,	the	star	often	takes	a	licking	but	keeps	on	ticking	.	in	the	course	of	the	102	minute	running	time	of	"	payback	,	"	porter	is	shot	three	times	in	the	back	,	hit	by	a	van	,	beaten	up	,	and	has	his	feet	smashed	with	a	sledgehammer	.	and	guess	what	?	not	only	does	he	survive	the	whole	ordeal	,	but	he	is	happy	go	lucky	in	the	penultimate	sequence	(	and	can	still	walk	!	)	,	even	though	he	looks	like	he	had	recently	substituted	for	a	punching	bag	.	"	payback	"	is	not	,	in	any	way	,	an	entertaining	film	,	even	though	i	am	sure	the	makers	hoped	it	would	be	with	all	the	graphic	carnage	that	goes	on	,	but	take	away	that	violence	and	what	you	are	basically	left	with	is	a	blank	screen	.	perhaps	director	helgeland	would	have	been	smart	to	consider	this	,	so	he	could	have	at	least	added	a	few	worthwhile	elements	,	like	a	fresh	storyline	and	characters	whom	you	could	even	remotely	stand	to	be	around	for	a	few	hours	.
neg	the	team	who	brought	us	'a	fish	called	wanda'	in	1988	re	team	for	'fierce	creatures	.	'	there	is	an	old	saying	in	life	which	is	"	you	can't	go	home	again	.	"	that	was	never	more	true	than	with	the	production	of	'fierce	creatures	.	'	john	cleese	,	jamie	lee	curtis	,	kevin	kline	and	michael	palin	return	in	a	film	that	has	nothing	to	do	with	'a	fish	called	wanda'	but	perhaps	it	should	have	.	a	sequel	would	have	been	a	far	more	interesting	concept	than	this	plotline	.	a	multi	billionaire	(	kevin	kline	)	who	is	truly	a	hard	edged	businessman	rascal	employs	his	son	(	also	played	by	kevin	kline	)	to	travel	from	atlanta	to	merry	old	england	to	investigate	the	corporate	restructuring	of	a	zoo	run	by	a	bumbling	but	well	meaning	chap	(	john	cleese	)	.	along	for	the	ride	is	jamie	lee	curtis	to	assist	in	the	investigation	and	rounding	out	the	cast	is	michael	palin	as	a	zoo	employee	who	is	key	to	the	film's	bizarre	climax	.	putting	it	plainly	,	'fierce	creatures'	is	a	disaster	not	so	much	because	of	what	it's	about	but	because	it	tries	to	capture	the	same	level	of	humour	as	'a	fish	called	wanda'	did	.	the	personalities	of	the	characters	in	this	movie	are	similar	in	nature	to	'wanda'	and	some	of	the	scenes	are	downright	copycats	of	that	film	.	the	jokes	and	the	physical	gags	are	surprisingly	flat	and	the	movie	is	abruptly	immature	at	the	wrong	moments	and	the	word	that	comes	to	mind	to	sum	it	all	up	is	'phony'	.	even	more	preposterous	is	the	fact	that	it	took	two	men	to	direct	this	farcical	mess	(	robert	young	and	fred	schepisi	)	and	john	cleese	is	aided	in	the	screenplay	by	iain	johnstone	.	producer	michael	shamberg	should	have	recognized	that	this	film	wouldn't	work	and	even	if	you've	never	seen	'a	fish	called	wanda'	you	still	will	recognize	the	flaws	that	make	this	production	superficial	and	self	serving	.
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	american	outlaws	"	(	warner	bros	.	)	thomas	edison's	"	the	great	train	robbery	"	(	1903	)	was	the	first	western	ever	made	and	"	jesse	james	under	the	black	flag	"	(	1923	)	first	introduced	the	outlaw	folk	hero	.	now	,	more	than	20	similarly	themed	pictures	later	,	jesse	james	and	his	notorious	gang	of	outlaws	ride	again	in	a	banal	mtv	spin	on	an	american	legend	.	the	story	begins	as	jesse	(	charasmatic	colin	farrell	)	and	his	brother	frank	(	gabriel	macht	)	,	cole	and	scott	younger	(	scott	caan	,	will	mccormack	)	and	trusty	comanche	tom	(	nathaniel	arcand	)	,	after	four	years	of	fighting	for	the	rebs	in	the	civil	war	,	return	to	liberty	,	missouri	only	to	discover	union	troops	are	occupying	their	hometown	.	and	an	avaricious	east	coast	railroad	baron	,	thaddeus	rains	(	harris	yulin	)	,	is	forcing	farmers	to	sell	their	land	at	less	than	true	value	,	aided	by	allan	pinkerton	(	timothy	dalton	)	and	his	infamous	detectives	who	,	back	then	,	were	just	thugs	who	provided	security	.	but	when	ma	james	(	kathy	bates	)	becomes	one	of	their	victims	,	jesse	and	the	rest	of	the	guys	(	gregory	smith	,	ty	o'neal	,	joe	stevens	)	form	the	james	younger	gang	to	wreak	revenge	by	attacking	the	railroad's	supply	lines	,	sabotaging	track	and	robbing	the	banks	where	the	payroll	is	kept	.	plus	there's	romance	between	jesse	and	a	spunky	hometown	gal	,	lee	mimms	(	ali	larter	)	.	working	from	a	politically	correct	,	clich	drenched	,	sanitized	and	revisionist	screenplay	by	roderick	taylor	and	john	rodgers	,	director	les	mayfield	keeps	the	action	fast	paced	and	goes	for	lightweight	laughs	when	he	can	.	the	choppy	editing	hurts	but	russell	boyd's	cinematography	,	luke	reichle's	designer	duds	and	trevor	rabin's	music	lend	authenticity	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	american	outlaws	"	is	a	galloping	,	formulaic	3	.	it's	the	wild	west	re	visited	as	a	date	movie	.
neg	sometimes	a	stellar	cast	can	compensate	for	a	lot	of	things	,	and	"	pushing	tin	"	certainly	features	some	name	stars	who	are	going	places	:	billy	bob	thornton	,	cate	blanchett	,	angelina	jolie	,	and	oh	yes	john	cusack	who	might	not	realize	it	at	first	,	but	he's	actually	the	veteran	among	this	quartet	of	fine	looking	people	.	sometimes	a	terrific	cast	like	this	can	compensate	for	a	lackluster	screen	treatment	of	an	idea	that	has	"	hip	comedy	"	written	all	over	it	,	compensate	for	workmanlike	but	uninspired	direction	,	compensate	for	an	obnoxious	score	that	would	have	anyone	but	the	tone	deaf	screaming	for	the	exits	,	compensate	for	clichd	characterizations	,	compensate	for	embarrassing	"	you	have	to	be	joking	"	situations	.	etc	.	in	"	pushing	tin	,	"	thornton	,	blanchett	,	jolie	,	and	cusack	don't	have	an	earthly	.	from	the	opening	sequence	the	film	is	in	big	trouble	:	squiggly	,	"	quirky	"	credits	,	fake	looking	passenger	planes	circling	new	york	,	and	anne	dudley's	in	your	ear	music	making	us	wonder	how	she	ever	got	that	best	original	score	nomination	for	"	the	full	monty	,	"	let	alone	won	it	.	but	i	,	for	one	,	wasn't	ready	to	walk	just	yet	.	so	quickly	we	descend	into	a	tightly	edited	air	traffic	controllers	montage	which	screams	to	us	in	large	capital	letters	these	people	have	a	difficult	job	,	yes	,	what	with	their	frantic	,	mile	a	minute	instructional	personas	,	juggling	planes	and	passenger's	lives	like	some	huge	,	real	,	mid	air	video	game	.	hip	,	cool	,	demonic	auctioneer	nick	"	the	zone	"	falzone	(	cusack	)	is	the	best	in	the	biz	.	of	course	.	until	some	hipper	,	cooler	,	leather	clad	flyboy	assist	in	the	guise	of	russell	bell	(	thornton	)	shows	up	to	challenge	falzone's	finite	air	space	.	boys	will	be	boys	and	some	heavy	duty	testosterone	starts	exuding	,	then	the	macho	one	upmanship	begins	.	it	doesn't	stop	with	seeing	who	can	juggle	three	747s	within	a	cat's	whisker	of	each	other	.	oh	no	.	there	are	some	broken	hoop	dreams	,	some	wanna	see	how	fast	i	can	drives	,	and	then	the	ultimate	showdown	:	was	that	my	wife	i	saw	you	with	last	night	?	director	mike	newell	(	"	four	weddings	and	a	funeral	"	)	must	have	read	a	different	draft	of	this	script	because	the	one	that's	being	acted	out	up	there	between	newark	,	jfk	,	and	la	guardia	doesn't	have	an	ounce	of	subtlety	,	and	newell	has	made	some	awfully	good	and	funny	movies	before	.	the	antics	of	these	air	traffic	controllers	will	make	you	cringe	.	they'll	make	you	frown	in	disbelief	.	they'll	have	you	constantly	looking	at	your	watch	.	but	wait	!	there's	still	100	minutes	to	go	!	!	the	film's	only	saving	grace	is	blanchett	,	whose	connie	falzone	is	a	spunky	,	brash	,	long	island	housewife	who	wants	to	better	herself	by	taking	art	classes	.	this	is	a	wonderful	accomplishment	for	the	fine	actress	who	has	previously	played	a	red	headed	australian	gambler	(	"	oscar	and	lucinda	"	)	and	a	tempestuous	british	monarch	(	"	elizabeth	"	)	.	but	she's	not	enough	to	save	the	picture	.	thornton	looks	terrific	and	performs	solidly	but	his	character	is	a	joke	.	jolie	(	as	russell's	knock	'em	dead	wife	)	isn't	bad	,	but	the	up	and	coming	actress	disappoints	by	allowing	herself	to	be	displayed	like	a	plaything	.	cusack	cracks	gum	,	dons	shades	,	and	acts	hip	throughout	but	,	like	everything	else	in	the	film	,	his	performance	is	forced	.	in	the	last	ten	minutes	or	so	,	for	some	inexplicable	reason	,	things	start	coming	together	and	you	begin	to	get	a	sense	of	how	this	film	might	have	been	,	like	the	trailer	teases	.	but	it's	too	little	too	late	.	a	fine	cast	aside	,	"	pushing	tin	"	is	nothing	more	than	an	embarrassment	.
neg	capsule	:	why	is	this	movie	three	hours	long	?	because	it's	too	stupid	to	know	when	to	stop	.	the	postman	may	be	the	single	dumbest	movie	i've	ever	seen	.	not	the	worst	i	still	leave	that	accolade	to	be	divided	between	starship	troopers	and	money	train	but	by	far	the	dumbest	.	it	takes	a	situation	that	had	plenty	of	possibilities	,	which	are	all	better	examined	in	the	david	brin	novel	that	the	postman	has	been	sensessly	cannibalized	from	,	and	turns	them	into	an	idiot's	delight	.	people	should	be	able	to	buy	insulin	along	with	their	popcorn	for	this	one	,	it's	so	saccharine	and	treacly	.	not	too	far	into	the	future	,	america	has	been	ravaged	by	a	war	which	has	shattered	civilization	.	the	exact	details	of	this	war	are	conveniently	omitted	i	imagine	they	felt	"	it	wasn't	important	"	,	or	some	other	such	lame	writer's	left	handed	excuse	.	omitting	critical	detail	is	not	the	same	thing	as	creative	restraint	,	and	in	this	movie	they	add	up	to	glaring	empty	places	in	the	story	.	wandering	through	the	shattered	landscape	(	snore	)	is	a	man	with	no	name	(	double	snore	)	who	comes	across	the	uniform	and	truck	of	a	dead	mailman	.	he's	used	to	sleazing	his	way	from	one	end	of	hell	to	the	other	,	so	he	puts	on	the	uniform	(	hey	,	it's	in	pretty	good	shape	for	a	guy	who's	been	dead	at	least	a	decade	!	)	and	tries	to	scam	whatever	little	pockets	of	civilization	are	left	into	offering	him	shelter	,	by	pretending	to	be	a	letter	carrier	for	the	"	restored	united	states	of	america	"	.	we	are	supposed	to	believe	that	the	movie	is	about	how	this	drifted	inspires	people	by	his	"	example	"	.	wrong	:	the	movie	is	not	about	anything	,	because	it's	too	busy	drowning	in	jackass	cliches	and	godawful	writing	to	ever	manage	a	statement	of	purpose	.	it's	one	part	western	,	one	part	mad	max	and	one	part	hollywood	self	congratulatory	sentimentalism	,	none	of	which	works	.	it's	also	an	ass	(	and	bladder	)	breaking	three	hours	.	titanic	,	in	comparison	,	felt	half	as	long	because	it	was	so	watchable	and	so	swift	on	its	feet	.	the	postman	is	a	lumbering	,	boneheaded	wreck	of	a	movie	that	doens't	know	when	to	lie	down	and	give	up	.	the	silliness	is	just	unstoppable	.	one	painfully	unfunny	scene	has	costner's	character	trying	to	do	shakespeare	from	memory	(	and	we	learn	,	over	and	over	and	over	again	,	that	he	can't	do	it	without	cue	cards	)	.	another	one	has	him	doing	his	letter	carrying	rounds	on	horseback	,	shot	in	such	agonizing	slow	motion	that	we	want	to	shout	instructions	at	the	projectionist	.	maybe	when	this	is	released	on	tape	and	in	a	deluxe	cav	letterboxed	collector's	edition	laserdisc	set	(	as	it	inevitably	will	be	)	,	we	can	thumb	the	fast	forward	and	make	up	for	costner's	hamhandedness	in	the	director's	chair	.	monty	python	once	had	a	recurring	character	they	named	d	.	p	.	gumby	,	an	utter	dimwit	who	approached	everything	from	brain	surgery	to	flower	arranging	with	granite	jawed	seriousness	.	watching	the	postman	,	i	felt	many	associations	could	be	drawn	between	mr	.	gumby	and	kevin	costner	as	a	filmmaker	.	costner	is	just	so	ploddingly	,	heart	rendingly	,	goddamned	earnest	in	this	movie	both	as	an	actor	and	as	the	creative	mind	behind	it	that	he	fails	to	notice	he's	making	a	complete	and	utter	fool	of	himself	.
neg	rated	r	sony	pictures	classics	starring	julian	sands	,	saffron	burrows	,	stefano	dionisi	,	gina	mckee	,	kelly	macdonald	,	femi	ogumbanjo	,	jonathan	rhys	meyers	,	hanne	klintoe	written	and	directed	by	mike	figgis	as	much	as	i	hate	to	say	it	,	mike	figgis	has	only	made	one	film	worth	seeing	.	that	film	was	the	gritty	,	heartbreaking	drama	"	leaving	las	vegas	"	.	and	as	i	look	back	at	it	,	the	performances	of	nicolas	cage	and	elisabeth	shue	carried	a	film	that	was	merely	above	average	.	his	second	post	"	vegas	"	film	(	after	the	awful	"	one	night	stand	"	)	is	the	plotless	,	narcissistic	and	dull	"	loss	of	sexual	innocence	"	.	"	the	loss	of	sexual	innocence	"	is	essentially	a	series	of	unrelated	moments	in	the	life	of	nic	,	a	british	filmmaker	.	the	stories	are	supposedly	autobiographical	,	and	if	that's	true	,	then	i	have	learned	things	about	figgis	that	i'm	better	off	not	knowing	.	the	moments	in	nic's	life	are	pointlessly	intercut	with	scenes	of	a	modern	adam	and	eve	.	the	irony	of	the	film	is	that	we	see	nic	in	so	many	stages	of	life	,	yet	at	the	end	we	still	know	almost	nothing	about	him	.	i	happen	to	think	that	mike	figgis	was	just	being	self	important	by	intercutting	scenes	of	adam	and	eve	and	flashing	titles	across	the	screen	before	each	new	segment	,	so	if	there's	any	subtlety	to	be	found	,	i	didn't	see	it	.	if	there	is	anything	redeeming	about	"	the	loss	of	sexual	innocence	"	,	it	is	benoit	delhomme's	lucid	cinematography	.	there	is	something	subtle	about	his	own	work	,	even	though	it	can't	add	any	depth	to	a	shallow	film	.	and	what	is	with	the	title	?	this	is	not	a	term	paper	.	the	best	that	can	be	said	about	the	film	is	that	it's	unconventional	,	but	conventionality	may	have	made	this	an	interesting	character	study	.	there	are	certain	filmmakers	who	can	turn	narcissism	into	a	fine	art	,	as	vincent	gallo	did	in	last	year's	excellent	"	buffalo	'66	"	.	mike	figgis	,	however	,	needs	to	learn	that	while	independent	film	is	about	our	own	visions	,	it	is	also	about	how	we	present	those	visions	on	film	.	if	mike	figgis	stares	at	a	house	for	five	minutes	,	that	doesn't	mean	it	needs	to	be	translated	onto	a	reel	.	where	"	leaving	las	vegas	"	was	compassionate	,	"	the	loss	of	sexual	innocence	"	is	selfish	.	what	a	disappointment	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
neg	in	a	typical	cinematic	high	school	,	the	football	jocks	have	sex	with	the	girls	and	then	dump	them	,	but	not	before	the	boys'	scores	are	dutifully	recorded	in	their	little	black	books	.	as	the	sexual	acts	take	place	,	the	other	guys	hang	out	nearby	,	guzzling	beer	and	grunting	like	pigs	.	in	the	rage	:	carrie	2	,	robert	mandel's	terminally	bland	sequel	to	carrie	,	there	isn't	a	single	original	moment	.	only	amy	irving	returns	from	carrie	,	and	the	talent	of	the	rest	of	the	sequel's	cast	is	impossible	to	determine	given	the	stupefying	mediocrity	of	rafael	moreu's	script	.	as	rachel	,	the	horror	story's	lead	,	emily	bergl	gives	one	of	the	least	scary	performances	in	recent	memory	,	but	it	isn't	exactly	her	fault	.	the	director	asks	for	little	from	his	actors	,	which	is	precisely	what	he	gets	.	sporadically	in	this	lame	and	lifeless	movie	,	rachel	will	cause	school	lockers	and	windows	to	fly	open	,	but	generally	she	just	mopes	around	looking	like	a	victim	.	her	fellow	students	delight	in	tormenting	her	.	of	course	,	she	will	get	her	revenge	in	the	obligatory	ending	bloodbath	in	which	she	will	decapitate	and	castrate	the	boys	and	crush	the	girls	with	burning	timbers	.	as	the	movie	marks	time	until	its	big	finale	,	it	throws	in	some	repugnant	scenes	,	hoping	to	turn	audience's	stomachs	.	rachel's	girlfriend	commits	a	horrible	and	realistic	suicide	after	the	boy	who	made	"	love	"	to	her	the	night	before	spurns	her	.	(	he	gets	major	points	in	his	black	book	for	this	,	but	his	buddies	say	he	would	have	gotten	more	if	he	had	had	sex	with	her	after	her	death	.	)	even	a	helpless	puppy	is	run	over	,	and	we	see	his	poor	,	little	body	flipping	over	and	over	under	a	truck	.	the	teenagers	in	the	movie	are	completely	blas	about	it	all	.	"	doesn't	it	offend	you	that	some	girl	offed	herself	yesterday	,	"	asks	one	of	the	few	kids	with	a	conscience	.	"	why	?	"	responds	his	nonplussed	girlfriend	.	"	she	wasn't	anybody	.	"	remarkably	devoid	of	any	energy	,	especially	for	a	horror	flick	,	the	movie	makes	one	yearn	for	a	fast	forward	button	on	the	theater's	armrest	.	with	material	this	bad	,	the	film's	only	hope	is	to	go	for	parody	,	but	it	isn't	smart	enough	to	realize	it	.	even	the	mandatory	epilogue	is	as	pointless	and	predictable	as	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	the	rage	:	carrie	2	runs	1	:	45	.	it	is	rated	r	for	graphic	violence	,	teen	alcohol	abuse	,	sex	,	nudity	and	profanity	and	would	be	acceptable	only	for	older	teenagers	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	there	are	many	things	that	we	ve	learned	from	computers	.	there	are	also	many	ways	in	which	computers	are	helping	people	live	their	lives	today	.	e	mail	,	instant	messages	,	and	3	d	heavy	games	are	now	a	part	of	everyday	life	for	most	people	in	the	country	.	game	designers	have	come	out	with	some	pretty	classic	games	such	as	starcraft	,	warcraft	,	everquest	,	and	wing	commander	in	the	past	couple	of	years	.	while	starcraft	might	make	a	good	movie	,	wing	commander	doesn	t	.	the	only	thing	i	can	come	up	with	is	that	20th	century	fox	must	have	gotten	together	and	said	,	we	have	a	lot	of	computers	.	so	let	s	make	a	movie	based	off	of	a	computer	game	,	include	bad	computer	generated	effects	,	and	make	the	characters	have	the	dimension	of	their	pc	game	counterparts	.	?	that	s	the	only	thing	i	can	possibly	think	of	that	they	must	have	been	thinking	because	this	film	is	easily	one	of	the	worst	movies	of	the	year	.	christopher	blair	(	prinze	jr	.	)	has	an	encrypted	cd	with	information	pertaining	to	the	destruction	of	a	ship	by	the	evil	kilrahti	,	an	alien	race	that	wasn	t	to	be	dominant	of	the	entire	galaxy	.	kilrathi	are	strange	looking	wolf	type	creatures	who	walk	around	in	rooms	with	lots	of	fog	and	speak	in	techno	font	subtitles	.	when	blair	and	his	friend	todd	marshall	(	matthew	lillard	,	who	once	again	proves	that	he	cannot	act	)	get	assigned	to	help	beat	the	kilrathi	,	they	become	a	fighter	on	the	ship	.	so	a	bunch	of	space	stuff	that	doesn	t	really	have	any	significance	happens	,	and	then	more	of	it	happens	,	and	then	more	until	we	really	don	t	care	much	about	what	s	happening	on	screen	.	most	of	the	shots	are	of	bad	computer	created	ships	leaving	,	taking	off	,	and	firing	,	always	hitting	their	target	.	then	for	some	reason	,	freddie	has	to	leave	his	girl	behind	when	she	has	to	eject	from	her	space	plane	.	this	of	course	is	right	before	he	has	to	make	the	jump	that	determines	what	happens	in	the	end	of	the	movie	.	(	you	will	ask	yourself	why	he	has	to	do	this	,	you	will	also	ask	yourself	why	you	ever	wanted	to	see	this	movie	.	)	so	he's	up	there	in	space	worried	and	wondering	whether	his	love	will	be	dead	or	alive	when	he	comes	home	.	i	know	,	i	just	gave	away	what	happens	in	the	end	,	but	trust	me	,	you	won	t	care	.	the	film	contains	horrible	acting	by	everyone	,	there	isn't	one	single	exception	,	none	,	zero	,	nada	.	this	isn	t	to	say	it	s	entirely	the	cast	s	fault	,	matthew	lillard	is	giving	some	pretty	bad	lines	,	and	freddie	prinze	doesn	t	have	much	to	do	.	i	think	that	i	found	the	most	compelling	and	interesting	character	to	be	mr	.	obutu	,	(	hugh	quarshie	)	an	african	american	ship	navigator	person	,	and	that	s	only	because	of	his	name	.	the	effects	aren	t	very	good	at	all	,	and	the	action	scenes	don	t	build	any	suspense	,	so	we	don	t	really	care	about	the	characters	.	besides	,	the	script	is	filled	with	so	many	stereotypes	(	the	captain	who	doesn	t	believe	everyone	else	,	the	good	hearted	bad	girl	)	that	you	know	what	s	going	to	happen	from	about	the	35	minute	point	.	if	you	love	the	game	you	will	be	extremely	disappointed	.	heck	,	if	you	saw	it	in	the	theaters	,	at	least	the	new	star	wars	trailer	was	shown	before	it	.	that	might	make	the	experience	a	bit	less	painful	.	but	if	you	consider	renting	it	on	video	,	(	what	the	heck	is	wrong	with	you	?	!	)	i	seriously	recommend	that	you	seek	help	because	wing	commander	gets	1	2	a	.	the	young	uns	:	the	film	contains	sci	fi	action	violence	and	a	suggestive	after	sex	scene	.	good	age	12	up	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	teenage	movie	critic	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	homestead	.	com	teenagemoviecritic	mainpage	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	homestead	.	com	teenagemoviecritic	mainpage	.	html	a
neg	following	one	of	the	most	pitiful	title	sequences	i've	ever	seen	,	the	watcher	actually	proceeds	to	become	one	of	the	most	pitiful	thrillers	i've	ever	seen	.	and	that	takes	some	doing	.	.	.	but	let	me	tell	you	how	.	i	give	the	movie	half	a	point	for	its	mildly	eyebrow	raising	premise	.	an	l	.	a	.	serial	killer	(	reeves	)	has	finally	worn	down	the	cop	who	was	chasing	him	(	james	spader	)	to	the	point	where	he	can	no	longer	function	in	society	.	the	cop	gives	up	on	the	chase	after	a	dozen	plus	murders	go	unsolved	,	moves	to	chicago	,	and	tries	to	drop	out	of	life	with	his	migraine	medication	.	only	the	killer	tracks	him	down	,	2	,	000	miles	away	,	and	tries	to	revive	their	old	cat	and	mouse	game	,	by	mailing	our	hero	a	photograph	of	an	anonymous	and	lovely	young	lady	,	sentencing	her	to	die	in	24	hours	if	the	cops	can't	track	her	down	.	surprise	:	witness	some	of	the	worst	police	work	in	movie	history	as	the	cops	can't	track	her	down	.	rinse	and	repeat	.	like	i	said	,	it's	a	semi	interesting	premise	once	you	get	past	the	fact	that	nancy	drew	could	put	these	cops	to	shame	.	but	of	course	,	it's	all	ruined	by	shoddy	acting	and	some	just	plain	god	awful	filmmaking	that	is	shameful	in	its	incompetence	.	reeves	is	utterly	wooden	,	as	if	he	is	reading	his	lines	from	a	teleprompter	that's	running	too	slow	,	and	with	nary	a	"	whoa	"	to	utter	.	spader	is	fine	yet	unimpressive	.	and	marisa	tomei	starring	as	spader's	shrink	and	a	would	be	victim	of	the	killer	has	turned	positively	ghoulish	now	that	she's	reached	maturity	.	(	note	:	she's	supposed	to	be	one	of	those	"	lovely	young	ladies	"	i	mentioned	above	.	)	but	let's	get	down	to	the	worst	offendor	.	director	joe	charbanic	(	absolutely	no	credits	on	record	aside	from	a	few	crappy	music	videos	)	has	no	business	being	behind	a	camera	at	all	and	should	retire	now	before	someone	gets	hurt	.	this	is	film	school	101	stuff	,	what	with	the	ridiculous	use	of	blurred	motion	video	footage	(	you	see	,	we're	looking	through	the	killer's	eyes	!	)	,	the	positive	negative	positive	effect	to	make	things	oh	so	creepy	,	sudden	flashes	of	white	light	,	and	,	well	,	more	blurred	motion	video	footage	.	my	cat	could	puke	up	a	better	film	after	a	diet	of	canned	tuna	and	fur	.	which	reminds	me	:	as	a	funny	footnote	to	the	watcher	,	keanu	reeves	has	actually	hired	charbanic	to	direct	a	music	video	or	two	for	his	band	dogstar	(	which	is	reportedly	quite	awful	)	.	my	poor	kitty	may	be	spared	some	work	after	all	.
neg	new	line	1	:	30	1997	r	(	language	,	violence	)	cast	:	chris	tucker	;	charlie	sheen	;	paul	sorvino	;	heather	locklear	;	gerard	ismael	;	paul	gleason	;	elise	neal	;	veronica	cartwright	;	david	warner	director	:	brett	ratner	screenplay	:	joel	cohen	;	alec	sokolow	chris	tucker	is	one	of	those	guys	you	immediately	get	a	reaction	from	you	either	find	his	helium	voice	,	crazy	eyes	and	jerky	mannerisms	funny	or	annoying	.	i	think	i	fall	into	the	former	category	(	i'm	one	of	the	few	who	thought	his	turn	in	"	the	fifth	element	"	as	a	prancing	,	prince	like	deejay	was	complete	inspired	lunacy	and	not	the	least	bit	aggravating	)	,	but	his	new	vehicle	"	money	talks	"	just	doesn't	do	him	service	.	tucker	is	good	in	the	movie	and	this	is	the	kind	of	film	that	,	if	people	see	it	,	could	make	him	a	big	star	but	he's	also	really	the	only	thing	good	about	the	movie	.	in	fact	,	if	you	see	"	money	talks	,	"	it	should	shock	you	beyond	recognition	that	two	of	"	toy	story	"	's	writers	penned	the	sloppy	script	.	tucker's	role	here	is	that	of	franklin	hatchett	,	a	petty	los	angeles	con	artist	whose	carwash	scams	get	him	dogged	by	investigative	reporter	james	russell	(	charlie	sheen	)	.	after	being	busted	on	the	job	for	some	illegal	business	involving	counterfeit	passports	,	franklin	finds	himself	on	a	bus	to	the	county	jail	and	handcuffed	to	slick	international	jewel	smuggler	raymond	villard	(	gerard	ismael	)	.	but	villard's	thugs	blow	up	the	bus	in	an	attempt	to	free	their	leader	(	never	mind	that	the	explosion	could	have	instead	killed	him	)	,	and	because	he	and	franklin	are	joined	at	the	wrist	,	franklin	is	allowed	to	escape	as	well	,	but	not	before	overhearing	some	important	information	regarding	a	diamond	stash	that	for	some	reason	or	another	is	being	hidden	in	a	vintage	roadster	waiting	to	be	auctioned	off	at	an	upcoming	auto	expo	.	the	local	media	mistakenly	puts	the	prison	break	out	blame	on	franklin	,	which	is	where	james	comes	back	into	the	picture	.	he	makes	a	deal	to	protect	franklin	if	,	in	turn	,	franklin	gives	him	an	exclusive	interview	.	this	means	james	must	present	his	new	"	friend	"	in	the	stickiest	of	situations	a	formal	dinner	party	for	he	and	fiancee	grace	(	heather	locklear	)	,	also	attended	by	her	uber	rich	parents	(	veronica	cartwright	and	nicely	game	paul	sorvino	)	.	and	of	course	the	bad	guys	track	franklin	down	and	try	to	knock	him	off	,	all	the	while	he	spars	and	forms	an	unlikely	bond	with	james	.	"	this	ain't	no	buddy	movie	,	"	claim	the	print	ads	.	yeah	,	right	.	actually	,	for	the	better	part	of	,	oh	,	20	minutes	,	it	appears	"	money	talks	"	has	the	momentum	to	cover	entertaining	ground	,	and	this	is	mostly	due	to	the	presence	of	spastic	motormouth	tucker	.	this	is	tucker's	first	leading	role	,	and	if	you	imagine	a	slightly	lankier	,	african	american	jim	carrey	with	a	reliance	on	wild	r	rated	raunch	rather	than	pg	13	physical	comedy	,	you	have	a	good	idea	of	the	conviction	with	which	he	assaults	the	role	.	but	you	realize	all	too	quickly	that	tucker's	overstated	liveliness	is	the	only	thing	"	money	talks	"	has	going	for	it	.	and	a	lively	actor	alone	does	not	a	successful	movie	make	.	it's	all	too	easy	to	pick	out	everything	wrong	with	"	money	talks	.	"	the	plot	is	recycled	buddy	buddy	comedy	thriller	tripe	that	seemed	overused	even	when	"	nothing	to	lose	"	employed	it	last	month	.	everything	is	paint	by	numbers	,	especially	the	los	angeles	coliseum	finale	,	which	finds	not	one	,	not	two	,	but	three	separate	enemy	factions	firing	at	franklin	as	they	pursue	him	through	the	bleachers	.	the	villains	,	as	many	as	there	are	,	are	dull	.	certain	story	elements	are	too	coincidental	.	and	too	much	of	the	film's	dramatic	agenda	is	played	too	straight	.	a	scene	where	grace	confronts	james	after	learning	franklin's	true	identity	(	"	you	brought	a	killer	into	my	parents'	house	!	"	)	is	extremely	silly	.	you	get	the	picture	.	obviously	,	i	did	not	have	a	pleasant	experience	at	"	money	talks	.	"	but	the	people	around	me	appeared	to	be	having	a	rip	roaring	good	time	(	one	gentleman	several	rows	behind	me	chortled	with	such	expressive	conviction	i	began	fearing	for	his	health	)	.	but	tucker	,	at	least	for	me	,	is	a	pretty	funny	guy	,	and	aces	the	movie's	best	scene	,	where	franklin	passes	himself	off	as	vic	damone's	son	at	james	and	grace's	engagement	bash	and	toasts	the	couple	with	barry	white	lyrics	.	tucker's	audience	and	he	does	have	one	will	probably	like	"	money	talks	.	"	those	who	he	irritates	,	however	,	will	have	a	more	productive	day	staying	home	and	scraping	the	gook	out	from	under	their	toenails	.	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
neg	directed	by	martin	campbell	.	screenplay	by	robert	king	and	terry	hayes	,	from	a	story	by	king	.	starring	chris	o'donnell	,	robin	tunney	,	bill	paxton	.	running	time	:	126	minutes	.	rated	aa	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	december	16th	,	2000	.	i	can	remember	clearly	the	moment	i	knew	"	vertical	limit	"	was	going	to	be	a	disappointment	.	chris	o'donnell	walks	through	a	camp	at	the	base	of	k2	,	the	world's	second	tallest	mountain	.	another	climber	,	played	by	izabella	scorupco	,	spots	o'donnell	.	and	that's	when	the	look	transpires	between	them	.	they	look	,	and	they	look	,	and	they	look	.	so	artificial	and	transparent	is	the	scene	that	it	would	have	worked	better	had	scorupco	been	wearing	a	big	sign	around	her	neck	reading	"	o'donnell's	love	interest	"	at	least	that	would	have	been	worth	a	chuckle	.	but	"	vertical	limit	"	is	short	on	imagination	,	and	long	on	predictability	and	shallowness	.	it	is	populated	by	characters	into	whom	very	little	thought	has	obviously	been	invested	;	they	exist	purely	to	fill	their	roles	in	the	paper	thin	plot	and	,	once	they	have	served	this	role	,	they	are	dispensed	with	,	one	way	or	another	.	that's	how	you	know	that	,	inevitably	,	scorupco	and	o'donnell	will	end	up	together	.	or	consider	the	mountaineer	skip	(	robert	taylor	)	.	his	purpose	in	"	vertical	limit	"	is	to	use	his	status	at	the	k2	camp	to	goad	others	into	joining	o'donnell	on	a	rescue	mission	.	this	accomplished	,	an	arbitrary	whim	of	the	story	shunts	him	out	of	the	action	,	and	he	practically	vanishes	from	the	screen	.	no	more	inventive	are	the	plot	twists	,	most	of	which	hinge	on	the	canisters	of	nitroglycerine	the	characters	carry	with	them	as	they	speedily	ascend	k2	.	it's	bad	enough	that	the	explosive	force	of	the	nitro	seems	to	vary	depending	on	the	needs	of	the	plot	(	at	one	point	,	an	entire	crateful	barely	destroys	a	shed	;	later	,	a	single	canister	nearly	devastates	a	mountainside	)	.	it's	even	worse	that	the	stuff	seems	to	survive	any	amount	of	jostling	,	unless	the	story	demands	that	it	suddenly	become	a	peril	.	but	the	sheer	stupidity	of	the	characters	around	it	leaving	a	crate	,	which	had	been	carefully	stowed	away	,	open	in	the	sunshine	for	no	good	reason	;	or	,	later	,	sitting	five	feet	away	from	it	when	they	know	there's	a	good	chance	it	might	explode	is	positively	criminal	.	to	be	fair	,	there	are	some	good	,	tense	moments	.	mountaineering	is	an	extremely	hazardous	sport	,	and	"	vertical	limit	"	effectively	conveys	the	many	disasters	which	can	befall	even	the	most	experienced	climber	.	one	of	the	best	scenes	in	the	movie	sees	scorupco	trying	to	save	a	fellow	mountaineer	,	who	is	clinging	by	his	pickaxe	to	the	edge	of	a	snowy	ledge	.	as	scorupco	edges	out	toward	him	,	the	ledge	slowly	starts	to	break	away	,	threatening	to	pitch	them	both	into	the	abyss	beyond	.	similarly	,	a	scene	where	o'donnell	jumps	a	wide	chasm	and	barely	manages	to	hook	himself	into	the	opposite	mountain	face	is	genuinely	exciting	(	even	if	,	in	reality	,	he	probably	would	have	torn	his	shoulders	from	their	sockets	)	.	but	the	dangers	become	too	repetitive	,	too	quickly	.	there's	only	so	many	times	a	yawning	chasm	,	an	incipient	avalanche	,	or	the	ubiquitous	nitroglycerine	can	be	brought	into	play	and	still	make	the	audience	anxious	.	director	martin	campbell	(	"	goldeneye	"	,	"	the	mask	of	zorro	"	)	simply	doesn't	find	a	way	to	make	each	danger	seem	new	and	rivetting	.	of	course	,	it's	hard	to	expect	much	from	a	movie	which	borrows	from	sylvester	stallone's	"	cliffhanger	"	from	the	word	go	.	o'donnell	plays	peter	garrett	,	a	climber	along	with	his	sister	annie	(	robin	tunney	)	and	father	royce	(	stuart	wilson	)	.	while	scaling	a	sheer	cliff	face	,	the	ineptitude	of	a	couple	of	novice	mountaineers	puts	the	garrett	family	in	jeopardy	,	hanging	from	a	single	carabiner	.	royce	,	who	is	on	the	bottom	,	tells	peter	to	cut	him	loose	,	since	he	knows	the	carabiner	can't	support	the	weight	of	all	three	of	them	.	reluctantly	,	peter	does	so	;	in	one	of	the	movie's	most	gratuitous	scenes	,	we	then	see	royce's	body	thud	to	the	ground	far	below	.	three	years	later	,	peter	is	a	photographer	for	the	national	geographic	society	.	he	and	annie	now	a	world	renowned	speed	climber	are	no	longer	on	speaking	terms	,	because	she	blames	peter	for	their	father's	death	.	by	coincidence	,	peter	ends	up	in	the	vicinity	of	k2	at	the	same	time	as	annie	,	who	is	helping	billionaire	elliott	vaughn	(	bill	paxton	)	scale	the	peak	as	part	of	a	publicity	gimmick	.	vaughn	pretends	that	k2	expert	tom	mclaren	(	nicholas	lea	)	is	in	charge	of	the	ascent	,	but	when	bad	weather	hits	and	tom	wants	to	turn	back	,	vaughn	goads	him	into	continuing	on	.	soon	,	the	party	is	hit	by	a	ferocious	avalanche	;	everyone	is	killed	except	vaughn	,	annie	and	tom	,	who	fall	into	a	crevasse	.	this	leaves	peter	to	mount	a	desperate	mission	to	save	the	trio	before	thirty	six	hours	pass	and	they	all	die	from	pulmonary	edema	.	beyond	this	point	,	"	vertical	limit	"	transpires	in	typical	disaster	movie	fashion	:	a	variety	of	supporting	characters	are	introduced	,	only	to	be	killed	off	one	by	one	to	show	how	truly	fearsome	the	situation	is	.	there	is	a	villain	,	of	course	,	and	there	is	an	old	eccentric	(	scott	glenn	)	who	proves	to	be	the	key	to	the	rescue	mission	,	despite	having	a	hidden	agenda	of	his	own	.	it	is	clear	that	scriptwriters	robert	king	and	terry	hayes	have	lifted	this	one	step	by	step	from	"	screenplays	for	dummies	"	there's	not	a	single	plot	point	you	won't	see	coming	a	mile	away	.	even	worse	,	king	and	hayes	demonstrate	no	flair	whatsoever	for	dialogue	.	"	vertical	limit	"	is	full	of	overwrought	,	scarcely	believable	passages	.	there	is	precisely	one	good	line	in	the	entire	film	taylor's	description	of	scorupco	and	even	that	probably	won't	have	as	much	meaning	for	audiences	outside	of	canada	.	campbell	does	at	least	take	good	advantage	of	the	tremendous	asian	landscape	;	"	vertical	limit	"	is	breathtaking	visually	,	if	in	no	other	respects	.	but	this	is	scarcely	enough	to	save	the	movie	as	a	whole	.	by	the	time	the	first	wave	of	snow	comes	thundering	down	the	mountainside	,	i	found	myself	wishing	it	would	sweep	me	out	of	the	theatre	,	too	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	verticallimit	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	verticallimit	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
neg	starring	will	smith	,	kevin	kline	and	kenneth	branagh	directed	by	barry	sonnenfeld	running	time	:	1	hour	47	minutes	summer	movies	are	,	by	nature	,	dumb	affairs	that	are	usually	made	for	some	quick	enjoyment	and	to	make	money	.	wild	wild	west	,	the	latest	will	smith	affair	,	follows	much	the	same	formula	,	except	that	it	is	dumber	and	less	enjoying	than	most	summer	movies	.	will	smith	plays	jim	west	,	a	black	sheriff	with	a	nice	line	in	sunglasses	.	he	is	called	by	president	grant	(	kline	)	to	go	on	a	mission	to	find	out	why	top	government	scientists	are	disappearing	.	west	is	paired	up	with	scientist	artemus	gordon	(	kline	again	)	and	the	two	track	the	missing	scientists	to	a	legless	mastermind	,	named	dr	.	loveless	(	branagh	,	with	a	zany	moustache	.	)	before	i	pile	on	with	the	many	negatives	in	this	sorry	affair	,	i'll	give	it	a	chance	with	the	positives	.	there's	a	nice	credit	sequence	,	the	production	design	by	bo	welch	is	pleasing	to	the	eye	,	and	the	special	effects	are	decent	enough	.	there's	also	a	pleasant	soundtrack	.	buried	deep	in	the	dross	are	one	or	two	amusing	jokes	.	and	salma	hayek	pops	up	as	the	female	interest	,	which	is	always	nice	to	see	.	apart	from	these	factors	,	though	,	nothing	else	in	wild	wild	west	works	.	firstly	,	there's	little	chemistry	between	smith	and	kline	,	who	appears	to	be	in	it	purely	for	the	money	.	one	would	expect	zingers	passing	between	the	two	:	none	arise	.	both	of	them	plod	through	the	below	standard	plot	,	knowing	that	there	is	a	pay	cheque	waiting	at	the	end	.	not	even	kenneth	branagh	provides	much	entertainment	:	although	he	is	over	the	top	,	the	material	doesn't	present	much	opportunity	for	branagh	to	be	truly	crazy	.	therefore	,	he	just	comes	across	as	loud	as	obnoxious	.	the	only	enjoyable	performance	comes	from	the	sexy	salma	hayek	,	who	is	given	so	little	screen	time	it's	embarrassing	.	she	appears	to	be	in	the	film	to	merely	show	off	her	body	,	and	be	ogled	at	by	kline	and	smith	.	her	character	also	changes	at	a	whim	to	fit	the	mechanics	of	the	script	,	and	there	is	no	sense	of	realism	about	the	character	.	the	'humour'	in	the	film	is	also	very	off	.	will	smith	put	a	little	spin	to	his	daft	lines	in	men	in	black	,	here	,	not	even	smith	could	save	the	humour	on	display	.	the	script	largely	boils	down	to	insults	that	aren't	very	funny	,	and	one	liners	that	barely	raise	a	smirk	.	it's	also	somewhat	racist	,	although	it	doesn't	intend	to	be	,	with	one	scene	with	jim	west	trying	to	wisecrack	his	way	out	of	a	lynching	,	and	actually	says	slavery	is	good	to	save	himself	.	it's	not	a	funny	scene	,	and	the	whole	thing	comes	off	rather	uncomfortably	.	the	film	also	makes	the	tragic	mistake	that	a	man	(	in	this	case	kline	)	in	a	dress	is	automatically	unfunny	,	it	isn't	,	but	the	wild	wild	west	makes	this	joke	even	more	painful	to	watch	through	pure	ineptness	.	there's	also	problems	with	the	plot	.	jim	west	and	artemus	gordon	get	caught	up	in	all	kinds	of	sticky	situations	,	but	the	way	they	get	out	of	them	are	always	unsatisfying	,	and	rely	purely	on	luck	,	rather	than	audience	pleasing	skill	.	plot	elements	are	introduced	into	the	film	,	and	then	thrown	away	just	as	quickly	.	the	main	piece	of	the	story	,	a	80	foot	mechanical	,	steam	driven	spider	devised	by	loveless	looks	rather	impressive	,	but	there's	no	particular	reason	why	it	should	be	built	.	why	not	loveless	build	a	great	big	tank	,	instead	of	an	ungainly	,	fragile	piece	of	machinery	that's	just	begging	to	be	blown	up	?	director	barry	sonnenfeld	always	has	a	breezy	look	to	them	,	with	some	nice	camera	tricks	,	but	even	this	is	missing	from	this	stilted	affair	.	wild	wild	west	could	have	benefited	from	sonnenfelds	whacked	out	style	of	directing	,	but	not	much	of	it	is	evident	,	making	this	film	drag	out	even	more	.	it's	a	sad	thing	when	_	four	_	(	credited	)	screenwriters	,	a	talented	director	and	a	willing	star	can't	make	a	film	work	,	and	eventually	wild	wild	west	collapses	under	it's	sexist	,	mildly	racist	,	unfunny	weight	.
neg	among	multitude	of	erotic	thrillers	,	that	had	been	released	in	the	early	1990s	,	woman	of	desire	is	interesting	only	because	it	was	directed	by	robert	ginty	,	star	of	the	b	grade	action	films	of	the	previous	decade	.	those	who	tend	not	to	be	nostalgic	about	1980s	can	find	very	good	reason	in	the	type	of	movies	that	made	ginty	the	star	.	as	director	,	ginty	did	very	little	to	improve	that	impression	.	the	protagonist	of	the	movie	is	jack	(	played	by	jeff	fahey	)	,	yacht	skipper	that	falls	madly	in	love	with	christina	ford	(	played	by	bo	derek	)	.	however	,	she	has	relationship	with	rich	and	powerful	jonathan	ashby	(	steven	bauer	)	.	one	stormy	night	,	the	tragedy	occurs	and	jack	is	accused	of	rape	and	murder	.	however	,	his	good	friend	walter	j	.	hill	(	robert	mitchum	)	happens	to	be	very	good	lawyer	,	so	jack	might	even	prove	his	innocence	in	the	end	.	belonging	more	to	the	genre	of	courtroom	drama	than	erotic	thriller	,	woman	of	desire	distinguishes	itself	from	similar	films	by	having	almost	all	characters	behaving	like	total	idiots	.	unfortunately	,	this	film	isn't	comedy	and	any	laugh	is	unintentional	.	the	characters	are	totally	antipathetic	and	irritating	and	soon	we	stop	caring	what	would	happen	to	them	.	the	actors	that	play	them	don't	help	either	.	that	is	especially	the	case	with	jeff	fahey	,	whose	jack	is	so	stupid	that	even	the	character	played	by	fahey	in	lawnmower	man	looks	like	a	genius	in	comparison	.	his	partner	bo	derek	,	on	the	other	hand	,	shows	that	she	didn't	age	enough	to	cease	being	the	sex	goddess	,	but	that	is	small	compensation	for	her	apparent	lack	of	acting	talents	.	ginty	,	on	the	other	hand	,	tries	to	bring	some	life	in	the	movie	by	using	many	flashbacks	and	strange	angles	of	shooting	,	but	in	the	end	it	gets	only	irritating	to	the	already	bored	and	dissatisfied	viewer	.
neg	young	einstein	is	embarrassingly	lame	,	but	that	didn't	stop	it	from	becoming	a	phenomenon	in	australia	,	where	it	became	the	third	largest	box	office	hit	of	all	time	.	in	the	u	.	s	.	,	warner	brothers	is	hoping	the	movie	will	follow	in	the	footsteps	of	paul	hogan	,	inxs	,	and	shrimp	on	the	barby	to	become	the	latest	rage	from	down	under	.	personally	,	i'm	hoping	americans	everywhere	will	rise	to	the	occasion	and	make	young	einstein	a	box	office	bomb	.	young	einstein	sprang	from	the	twisted	mind	of	yahoo	serious	,	who	not	only	wrote	,	produced	,	edited	,	and	directed	the	film	,	but	also	starred	and	did	his	own	stunts	.	his	creation	is	about	as	stupid	and	contrived	as	you'd	expect	from	someone	named	yahoo	.	the	movie	takes	substantial	historical	liberties	in	recreating	einstein's	youth	.	whereas	the	scientist	actually	hailed	from	germany	,	the	film	finds	him	still	living	with	his	parents	on	tasmania	,	a	remote	australian	island	.	in	addition	to	deriving	the	formula	for	energy	and	the	theory	of	relativity	,	albert	invents	surfing	,	bubbles	in	beer	,	and	the	electric	guitar	.	yahoo	plays	einstein	as	a	naive	and	unrefined	country	hick	a	clown	with	an	insatiable	curiosity	.	although	yahoo's	performance	is	at	first	endearing	,	the	one	dimensional	characterization	loses	its	novelty	faster	than	you	can	say	e	mc2	.	yahoo	has	created	a	charming	family	for	albert	,	and	the	scenes	on	tasmania	are	often	clever	.	but	after	the	first	twenty	minutes	,	the	movie	quickly	plummets	and	degenerates	into	a	poor	excuse	for	a	comedy	.	young	einstein	is	hampered	by	its	lethargic	pace	and	inane	plot	.	yahoo	must	be	an	mtv	addict	because	his	movie	features	an	omnipresent	soundtrack	;	unfortunately	,	the	music	is	altogether	gratuitous	and	quickly	becomes	overbearing	.	almost	every	other	scene	includes	a	blaring	rock	song	that	leaves	you	wondering	whether	you	are	watching	a	movie	or	a	music	video	.	the	instrumental	score	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	generally	playful	;	yahoo	uses	such	classics	as	the	"	1812	overture	"	and	the	theme	from	the	good	,	the	bad	and	the	ugly	to	great	comic	effect	.	halfway	through	young	einstein	,	i	knew	for	sure	the	movie	was	a	stinker	.	but	it	wasn't	until	the	very	end	that	i	finally	put	my	finger	on	why	:	the	comedy	takes	its	roots	not	from	whimsical	film	fantasies	(	such	as	young	sherlock	holmes	)	but	from	cheesy	prime	time	sitcoms	.	in	fact	,	young	einstein	might	have	been	more	at	home	on	network	television	,	where	its	sophomoric	humor	wouldn't	raise	any	eyebrows	.
neg	monkeybone	1	2	out	of	starring	:	brendan	fraser	,	bridget	fonda	,	chris	kattan	,	rose	mcgowan	,	megan	mullally	,	voice	of	john	turturro	.	directed	by	:	henry	selick	running	time	:	90	minutes	rated	pg	13	:	crude	humor	and	brief	nudity	.	"	from	the	director	of	"	the	nightmare	before	christmas	"	it	said	in	the	previews	,	which	i'm	guessing	was	said	to	get	people	to	go	see	the	movie	,	obviously	it	hasn't	worked	since	the	75	million	dollar	movie	has	yet	to	break	5	million	.	to	each	it's	own	however	,	since	"	monkey	bone	"	is	not	only	a	bad	movie	all	together	,	but	technically	well	made	.	a	tragic	waste	of	talent	and	incredible	visual	effects	.	stu	miley	is	the	genius	behind	the	new	phenomena	"	monkey	bone	"	a	crude	comic	strip	,	that	everyone	wants	to	merchandise	,	they	go	to	great	links	to	get	it	as	well	,	including	dollars	that	let	out	fart	powder	.	when	stu	and	his	girlfriend	,	julie	(	bridget	fonda	)	are	in	a	freak	car	accident	(	you'll	see	)	stu	goes	into	a	coma	,	and	while	in	his	coma	stu	travels	to	i'm	guessing	dark	town	,	where	all	the	characters	in	dreams	come	to	life	.	people	are	stuck	in	this	town	,	with	their	nightmares	roaming	around	them	.	when	stu	spots	monkey	bone	(	whom	he	really	can't	stand	)	he	tries	to	keep	him	under	control	.	making	a	new	friend	kitty	(	rose	mcgowan	)	he	learns	that	if	he	gets	an	exit	pass	from	death	,	he	can	go	back	up	and	live	his	life	.	when	monkey	bone	and	stu	steal	a	pass	,	monkey	bone	becomes	a	trader	and	takes	it	and	goes	into	stu's	body	.	now	monkey	bone	must	get	everyone	to	buy	these	dolls	with	nightmare	powder	,	so	everyone	has	nightmares	.	.	.	or	something	like	that	.	rather	complex	(	in	fact	more	than	it	needs	to	be	)	"	monkey	bone	"	had	potential	in	the	script	and	even	the	story	.	what	is	considerably	noticeable	is	the	gaping	plot	holes	,	and	lack	of	character	development	.	for	instance	we	really	don't	get	to	know	who	stu	or	julie	are	,	so	why	should	we	even	care	?	kitty	played	well	by	rose	mcgowan	ha	a	story	behind	her	,	but	we	are	not	given	a	chance	to	know	her	.	the	cast	is	decent	however	,	brendan	fraser	seems	to	be	enjoying	himself	in	the	role	as	stu	miley	,	but	becomes	awfully	annoying	when	monkey	bone	takes	over	his	body	.	bridget	fonda	is	dreary	and	seems	to	bring	the	film	to	a	screeching	halt	,	her	performance	is	bad	and	she	seems	miscast	.	dave	foley	isn't	given	enough	to	do	,	as	well	as	"	will	grace's	"	megan	mullally	who	can	be	funny	.	the	standout	performance	is	the	voice	of	nick	turturro	as	monkey	bone	himself	,	he	is	very	funny	and	entertaining	and	really	keeps	the	film	from	being	a	total	bust	.	the	special	effects	of	"	monkey	bone	"	is	what	might	really	bring	in	some	curious	viewers	,	these	special	effects	are	highly	effective	,	and	nice	to	look	at	with	the	eyes	.	some	of	them	are	believable	and	some	unbelievable	.	.	.	for	monkey	bone	he	seems	to	be	like	stuart	little	,	you	really	don't	realize	that	he	is	animated	.	.	.	but	on	occasion	it	sneaks	up	on	you	.	the	direction	by	henry	selick	is	good	,	but	at	times	he	doesn't	know	what	kind	of	film	he	wants	to	make	,	and	the	ending	climax	falls	off	the	cliff	.	it's	too	bad	really	,	"	monkey	bone	"	could	have	been	a	real	good	movie	,	but	with	it's	heavily	done	hack	job	,	and	lack	of	character	development	it	just	sinks	when	the	end	credits	role	.	for	those	curious	however	,	it	might	be	worth	the	rental	,	but	other	than	that	avoid	this	one	.
neg	"	the	44	caliber	killer	has	struck	again	.	"	starring	john	leguizamo	,	mira	sorvino	,	adrian	brody	,	jennifer	esposito	,	michael	rispoli	,	bebe	neuwirth	.	rated	r	.	summer	of	sam	will	be	remembered	as	a	waste	of	spike	lee's	abilities	.	lee	is	a	great	filmmaker	,	often	exhibiting	kinetic	visual	flair	on	par	with	brian	depalma	and	martin	scorsese	and	a	storytelling	ability	comparable	to	steven	spielberg	.	but	here	,	he	gets	himself	into	a	bind	.	his	latest	effort	is	a	case	of	a	director	pretending	he	has	something	to	say	when	in	reality	there	is	little	of	substance	to	absorb	from	his	work	.	the	summer	of	1977	was	an	unusual	summer	in	new	york	city	.	it	was	the	hottest	summer	on	record	.	to	boot	,	new	york's	first	serial	killer	was	on	the	loose	:	calling	himself	the	son	of	sam	,	david	berkowitz	killed	9	people	in	the	new	york	area	and	frightened	the	whole	city	population	.	so	it	was	understandable	that	when	nyc	was	hit	with	a	citywide	blackout	,	people	went	berserk	,	causing	billions	of	dollars	in	damage	to	the	city	.	the	movie's	focus	is	on	a	group	of	twenty	somethings	during	that	fateful	summer	:	vinny	(	john	leguizamo	)	,	a	club	hopping	,	adultrous	hairdresser	,	his	benevolent	wife	dionna	(	mira	sorvino	,	looking	young	)	,	ritchie	(	adrian	brody	)	,	a	punk	who	becomes	an	outcast	as	well	as	a	son	of	sam	suspect	,	a	gang	of	small	time	mobsters	and	a	few	more	minor	characters	.	we	follow	them	through	their	roller	coaster	lives	,	thrown	out	of	whack	even	more	by	the	recent	killings	.	vinny	and	dionna	have	marital	problems	because	vinny	cheats	and	dionna	tries	to	please	him	,	make	him	stay	faithful	to	her	.	ritchie	gets	shunned	by	his	group	of	friends	because	he	has	started	to	become	more	and	more	"	eccentric	,	"	and	has	degenerated	to	the	point	of	dancing	in	gay	night	clubs	and	making	porno	films	with	his	girlfriend	.	tensions	build	and	conflicts	arise	as	the	anniversary	night	of	son	of	sam's	first	murder	looms	;	the	night	he	promises	he	will	strike	again	.	a	local	gang	with	too	much	time	on	its	hands	makes	a	list	detailing	all	of	the	people	that	its	members	think	might	be	suspects	.	at	the	top	of	the	list	is	ritchie	.	vinny	,	an	unwilling	part	of	the	said	group	,	is	called	upon	to	set	a	trap	for	his	friend	.	as	we	watch	these	proceedings	,	some	of	which	are	painfully	graphic	,	the	dreaded	"	so	what	?	"	question	springs	to	mind	.	from	the	way	this	movie	is	made	,	i'd	have	guessed	that	spike	lee	was	trying	to	tell	us	something	,	but	as	i	searched	deeper	it	became	clear	that	there	is	very	little	there	to	find	.	lee	touches	on	so	much	the	media	,	the	70's	punk	scene	,	the	details	of	the	actual	killings	,	as	well	as	the	characters'	very	personal	dilemmas	but	he	doesn't	bring	all	of	his	topics	together	to	form	a	coherent	theme	or	make	a	discernible	statement	.	all	is	not	lost	if	a	movie	turns	out	to	be	hollow	;	it	can	be	a	saving	grace	for	the	film	to	be	enjoyable	.	too	bad	summer	of	sam	doesn't	get	any	help	here	.	frankly	,	it's	a	bore	,	a	redundant	and	repetitive	two	hour	and	twenty	minute	film	that	doesn't	entertain	beyond	its	first	half	hour	.	there	is	no	suspense	because	the	film	refuses	to	be	fully	about	the	murders	and	little	involving	drama	because	the	film	is	too	muddled	and	its	focus	too	vague	.	leguizamo's	turn	as	vinnie	is	annoying	and	whiny	.	the	script	makes	it	clear	that	we're	supposed	to	believe	that	his	character	is	flawed	,	but	still	a	good	guy	.	you'd	never	guess	from	his	performance	.	adrian	brody	and	especially	mira	sorvino	fare	better	.	sorvino	gives	a	riveting	,	touching	performance	in	a	banal	movie	(	i'm	tempted	to	think	that	i	liked	her	because	nearly	everything	else	around	her	was	inane	)	;	her	character	is	affecting	and	her	emotions	true	to	heart	.	brody	,	too	paints	an	effective	portrait	of	a	young	guy	desperate	for	attention	who	gets	a	little	more	than	he	bargained	for	.	summer	of	sam	has	some	superficial	elements	of	a	good	film	:	it	looks	great	,	it	has	a	few	notable	performances	and	i	suppose	it's	pretty	well	directed	,	in	a	purely	technical	way	.	but	it's	also	empty	,	pretentious	and	boring	.	like	last	year's	the	thin	red	line	,	it's	a	movie	by	a	director	who	doesn't	know	what	he	wants	to	say	but	goes	ahead	and	says	it	anyway	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
neg	seen	on	31	december	1997	with	tony	for	free	at	the	loews	village	viias	007	movies	go	,	tomorrow	never	dies	provides	is	a	lively	entry	with	the	sexually	appealing	pierce	brosnan	in	his	second	outing	as	the	fourth	james	bond	to	grace	the	series	.	for	reasons	that	are	not	completely	clear	to	me	,	i	have	seen	a	lot	of	action	adventure	movies	this	year	,	but	this	is	the	one	that	intentionally	made	me	laugh	.	unlike	american	pictures	,	the	brits	prove	once	again	that	a	keen	whit	can	coexist	with	explosions	.	i	was	laughing	within	the	first	five	minutes	,	and	the	mile	high	flames	ensued	about	three	minutes	afterward	.	in	general	,	if	you've	seen	one	007	movie	,	you	have	seen	them	all	.	what	separates	them	is	the	strength	of	the	characters	and	the	execution	of	the	formula	.	here	,	media	mogul	elliot	carver	(	jonathan	pryce	)	engineers	the	makings	of	world	war	iii	between	china	and	the	uk	by	rearranging	gps	signals	,	forcing	the	chinese	to	think	their	waters	are	being	breached	,	while	manipulating	the	british	into	thinking	they	sank	their	destroyer	,	when	he	sank	it	himself	.	like	most	007	movies	,	the	movie	makes	the	most	of	location	shooting	,	with	a	parking	garage	car	chase	in	hamburg	and	a	helicopter	motorcycle	chase	in	bangkok	,	after	a	spectacular	fall	from	an	office	tower	.	as	james	bond	,	pierce	brosnan	is	probably	the	most	sexually	appealing	of	the	actors	to	play	the	role	of	the	british	agent	.	he	is	prone	to	wearing	open	denim	shirts	than	tuxedos	and	suits	like	his	predecessors	.	the	"	bond	girls	"	this	time	around	are	the	horrible	teri	hatcher	as	carver's	wife	"	paris	,	"	and	the	formidable	michelle	yeoh	as	chinese	agent	wai	lin	.	luckily	,	hatcher	disappears	after	the	first	reel	,	and	seeing	yeoh	and	brosnan	handcuffed	together	on	a	motorcycle	while	being	chased	by	a	helicopter	was	very	entertaining	.	the	villains	are	equally	good	.	pryce	is	perfectly	cast	as	the	billionaire	maniac	,	a	1990s	dr	.	no	,	assisted	by	the	evil	stamper	(	gutz	otto	)	,	an	able	successor	to	007	villains	like	jaws	or	odd	job	.	carver's	visage	appears	in	a	variety	of	places	throughout	the	movie	,	projected	on	tv	screens	and	hanging	from	the	side	of	a	skyscraper	,	much	like	big	brother	in	1984	.	also	requisite	is	the	007	gadgetry	,	and	they	outdo	themselves	this	time	as	q	(	desmond	llewelyn	who	has	played	q	since	1964's	goldfinger	)	presents	bond	with	a	car	he	can	operate	with	a	finger	on	a	touchpad	on	his	cellular	phone	.	judi	dench	continues	nicely	as	bond's	boss	tough	m	,	as	does	samantha	bond	as	moneypenny	.	joe	don	baker	appears	briefly	as	a	buffoonish	american	military	man	.	hr	copyright	(	c	)	1997	seth	j	.	bookey	,	new	york	,	ny	10021more	movie	reviews	by	seth	bookey	,	with	graphics	,	can	be	found	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	athens	2679	kino	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	athens	2679	kino	.	html	a
neg	directed	by	john	carpenter	.	cast	:	james	woods	,	daniel	baldwin	,	sheryl	lee	,	thomas	ian	griffith	,	maximillian	schell	,	tom	guinee	.	1998	105	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	profanity	,	gore	,	nudity	,	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	october	31	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	there	was	a	time	when	john	carpenter	was	a	great	horror	director	.	of	course	,	his	best	film	was	1978's	masterpiece	,	"	halloween	,	"	but	he	also	made	1980's	"	the	fog	,	"	and	1987's	underrated	,	"	prince	of	darkness	.	"	heck	,	he	even	made	a	good	film	in	1995	,	with	"	in	the	mouth	of	madness	.	"	but	something	terribly	wrong	happened	to	him	in	1992	,	with	the	terrible	comedy	,	"	memoirs	of	an	invisible	man	.	"	somehow	,	carpenter	has	lost	his	touch	,	with	junk	like	his	failed	1995	remake	of	,	"	village	of	the	damned	,	"	to	his	uninspired	1996	sequel	,	"	escape	from	l	.	a	.	"	those	movies	,	however	,	look	like	cinematic	works	of	art	compared	to	his	latest	film	,	"	john	carpenter's	vampires	.	"	if	i	was	him	,	i	definately	wouldn't	want	to	put	my	own	name	in	the	title	.	it	is	a	sad	state	of	affairs	when	carpenter	can	make	something	as	misguided	and	flatly	written	and	filmed	as	,	"	vampires	.	"	the	story	is	simple	.	jack	crow	(	james	woods	)	is	a	vampire	hunter	who	,	along	with	one	of	his	partners	,	montoya	(	daniel	baldwin	)	,	and	a	prostitute	,	katrina	(	sheryl	lee	)	,	survives	an	attack	from	the	master	vampire	,	valek	(	thomas	ian	griffith	)	.	since	katrina	was	previously	bitten	by	him	,	crow	takes	her	along	because	anyone	who	is	bitten	by	valek	becomes	telepathically	linked	to	him	until	they	themselves	turn	into	vampires	a	couple	days	later	,	and	crow	is	hoping	to	find	him	with	the	help	of	her	.	it	seems	valek's	mission	is	to	steal	a	black	,	wooden	cross	from	a	roman	catholic	church	that	will	enable	him	to	become	so	powerful	that	sunlight	will	not	destroy	him	.	my	question	is	:	how	many	time	have	we	seen	this	same	story	played	out	?	well	,	the	answer	is	just	about	as	many	times	as	a	better	version	of	the	story	has	been	made	.	"	john	carpenter's	vampires	,	"	sadly	enough	,	is	one	of	the	most	unscary	horror	films	i've	ever	seen	.	in	fact	,	there	isn't	even	one	suspenseful	moment	in	the	whole	105	minute	running	time	.	the	non	stop	vampire	attack	sequences	are	stylelessly	filmed	,	without	any	interesting	camera	work	,	which	is	usually	a	trademark	of	carpenter's	.	and	then	we	come	to	the	screenplay	,	which	,	as	far	as	i	can	tell	,	is	nearly	non	existent	.	there	is	no	story	development	,	and	there	isn't	even	an	attempt	to	flesh	out	the	characters	.	james	woods	can	be	a	good	actor	,	but	he	has	nothing	to	do	here	but	to	say	a	couple	of	"	pseudo	"	clever	lines	of	dialogue	.	daniel	baldwin	has	some	potential	,	but	his	character	comes	off	as	being	very	dense	.	and	sheryl	lee	(	faring	much	better	as	laura	palmer	in	"	twin	peaks	"	)	,	like	all	of	the	female	characters	,	plays	an	offensive	stereotypical	whore	.	there	is	not	an	ounce	of	intelligence	,	or	excitement	in	,	"	john	carpenter's	vamires	,	"	which	is	very	disheartening	coming	from	an	ex	fan	of	carpenter's	.	he	has	said	that	he	turned	down	directing	,	"	halloween	:	h20	,	"	because	he	couldn't	work	up	any	excitement	for	it	.	and	yet	,	when	asked	about	a	"	vampires	"	sequel	,	he	said	he	would	be	happy	to	do	it	.	i	think	that's	a	definite	sign	that	carpenter	has	finally	lost	any	trace	of	his	lasting	talent	,	not	to	mention	a	significant	number	of	iq	points	.
neg	director	:	david	nutter	cast	:	jimmy	marsden	,	katie	holmes	,	nick	stahl	,	chad	e	.	donella	,	bruce	greenwood	,	william	sadler	screenplay	:	scott	rosenberg	producers	:	armyan	bernstein	,	jonathan	shestack	runtime	:	83	min	.	us	distribution	:	mgm	rated	r	:	violence	,	sex	,	profanity	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	sometimes	,	when	i	decide	to	write	a	short	story	or	a	poem	,	i	think	of	a	title	first	,	and	then	think	of	a	subject	to	go	with	it	.	it	seems	that	the	makers	of	disturbing	behavior	had	a	similar	train	of	thought	when	it	came	to	the	title	sequence	.	i	wouldn't	be	surprised	if	a	couple	of	guys	got	together	and	created	the	opening	credits	,	and	then	someone	saw	it	and	made	up	a	story	to	go	along	with	it	.	the	title	sequence	is	so	good	,	so	ominous	and	original	,	that	it	had	me	engrossed	before	the	picture	even	began	.	of	course	,	my	attention	dwindled	shortly	into	the	film	.	disturbing	behavior	,	like	so	many	thrillers	,	starts	off	interesting	and	ends	up	laughably	ridiculous	.	it's	a	teen	horror	film	with	no	interesting	violence	or	sex	.	it's	a	suspense	film	with	no	suspense	.	it's	an	evil	small	town	story	with	no	story	to	speak	of	.	it's	a	disaster	,	a	listless	and	uninspired	disaster	,	that	just	barely	misses	one	stardom	because	of	a	few	good	sequences	,	a	mercifully	short	running	time	,	and	one	terrific	set	of	opening	credits	.	our	main	man	is	a	fellow	named	steve	clark	,	blandly	played	by	jimmy	marsden	.	he	moves	to	a	small	town	with	his	family	after	,	tragically	,	his	brother	shoots	himself	.	steve	is	very	upset	about	the	untimely	death	of	his	brother	;	we	learn	this	through	strange	home	video	like	nightmares	that	he	has	occasionally	.	the	big	trial	for	steve	is	,	of	course	,	to	fit	in	at	school	and	make	new	friends	.	marsden	looks	like	your	stereotypical	jock	down	to	the	last	detail	,	so	he	seems	a	poor	casting	choice	for	a	social	reject	.	as	a	social	reject	,	he	falls	in	with	some	pretentious	dope	smoking	philosophers	,	gavin	(	nick	stahl	)	and	rachel	(	katie	holmes	)	.	gavin	informs	steve	that	the	local	group	of	jocks	,	known	as	the	blue	ribboners	,	are	actually	a	bunch	of	zombies	,	assimilating	new	members	into	their	group	,	while	sporadically	killing	innocent	people	.	so	,	it's	up	to	our	group	of	mismatched	protagonists	to	1	)	solve	the	mystery	,	and	2	)	do	something	about	it	.	by	the	end	of	it	all	,	something	has	happened	and	things	have	been	explained	,	but	the	film	still	doesn't	make	any	sense	.	disturbing	behavior	was	written	by	scott	rosenberg	.	i've	seen	his	name	around	recently	(	he	was	one	of	the	toucher	uppers	on	the	armageddon	script	)	,	and	i	imagine	that	,	for	the	most	part	,	he	knows	what	he's	doing	when	it	comes	to	screenwriting	.	he	did	,	however	,	have	a	complete	lapse	in	judgement	when	he	got	the	idea	for	this	film	,	and	then	decided	to	actually	take	the	time	to	write	it	out	.	evil	small	town	films	are	pretty	common	(	the	last	one	,	phantoms	,	is	also	a	dismal	failure	)	,	but	it	takes	a	lot	of	skill	to	make	the	formula	work	.	rosenberg's	script	is	a	complete	mess	,	lacking	in	even	the	most	basic	attempts	at	characterization	.	and	it	makes	no	sense	,	nor	is	their	any	purpose	when	things	are	finally	"	explained	.	"	there	is	supposed	to	be	an	element	of	surprise	when	we	see	what	is	happening	to	the	jocks	,	but	the	film	never	explains	exactly	what	is	happening	.	they	get	strapped	to	chairs	,	a	microchip	is	inserted	into	their	eyes	,	and	poof	they	become	sex	crazed	,	superviolent	,	machine	like	creatures	.	the	doctor	responsible	for	all	this	,	dr	.	caldicott	(	bruce	greenwood	)	,	must	be	pretty	nuts	for	thinking	that	this	kind	of	behavior	is	a	step	up	from	the	way	high	school	jocks	actually	behave	(	or	,	perhaps	,	this	is	the	only	realistic	element	in	the	film	)	.	much	of	the	writing	is	simply	bad	,	and	rosenberg	has	no	intuition	when	it	comes	to	the	way	high	school	kids	act	.	in	one	terrible	scene	,	gavin	explains	to	steve	all	of	the	high	school	cliques	,	while	pointing	them	out	in	the	cafeteria	.	up	front	,	i	should	say	that	,	in	four	years	of	high	school	,	i	did	not	eat	in	the	cafeteria	even	once	.	that	aside	,	the	various	social	groups	he	points	out	are	general	,	uninteresting	,	and	poorly	shown	.	for	instance	,	he	points	to	the	"	nerds	,	"	who	are	all	wearing	glasses	and	playing	with	their	laptops	.	it's	such	an	obvious	cliche	that	i	can't	believe	rosenberg	even	bothered	.	most	of	the	dialogue	is	forced	(	no	one	says	,	"	bite	me	!	"	anymore	)	,	and	none	of	the	scenes	have	any	degree	of	wit	.	this	picture	is	not	inspired	,	and	most	scenes	flop	from	one	to	the	other	,	with	no	sense	of	momentum	or	energy	.	the	blame	for	this	can	be	placed	on	director	david	nutter	,	who	apparently	likes	his	films	dry	.	horror	films	should	at	least	exploit	violence	,	but	this	one	is	shockingly	timid	.	there	are	a	few	good	scenes	,	though	,	such	as	an	interesting	trip	through	an	insane	asylum	(	this	is	,	however	,	the	most	forced	scene	in	the	film	,	for	how	our	heroes	get	there	or	why	they	bother	are	things	we	never	learn	)	.	i	also	liked	the	school	janitor	character	,	played	by	william	sadler	.	he	has	a	few	lines	that	are	surprisingly	thought	provoking	.	the	acting	is	largely	a	waste	of	talent	.	marsden	is	,	as	i	said	,	bland	(	thought	not	particularly	bad	)	.	bruce	greenwood	is	shamelessly	wasted	.	stahl	and	holmes	both	show	they	have	talent	,	but	the	direction	isn't	good	enough	to	hone	in	on	their	skills	(	stahl's	performance	seems	more	like	a	parody	of	high	school	potheads	)	.	none	of	these	characters	expand	beyond	their	one	dimension	,	and	,	frankly	,	watching	cardboard	cut	outs	of	human	beings	run	down	hallways	while	screaming	just	isn't	all	that	cool	.	disturbing	behavior	is	a	wreck	of	a	film	,	and	it	started	out	a	wreck	before	shooting	even	began	.	i'm	surprised	there	were	producers	who	read	this	script	and	thought	that	it	would	make	a	good	film	,	or	that	it	would	make	a	lot	of	money	at	the	box	office	.	it's	not	boring	,	or	even	blatantly	awful	,	but	it's	an	uninspired	lump	of	a	film	.	it	sure	starts	off	nicely	,	but	the	regression	into	total	absurdity	is	so	consistent	that	the	very	last	scene	is	outright	laughable	.	so	,	if	you	go	to	see	this	film	,	take	my	advice	:	appreciate	the	credit	sequence	,	and	pray	it	never	ends	.
neg	heartbreakers	(	2001	)	sigourney	weaver	,	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	ray	liotta	,	jason	lee	,	anne	bancroft	,	jeffrey	jones	,	gene	hackman	,	nora	dunn	,	julio	oscar	mechoso	,	ricky	jay	,	sarah	silverman	,	zach	galifianakis	,	michael	hitchcock	.	screenplay	by	robert	dunn	,	paul	guay	,	stephen	mazur	.	directed	by	david	mirkin	.	123	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	1	star	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	com	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	the	swirling	sick	feeling	hit	me	just	a	few	minutes	into	"	heartbreakers	.	"	ray	liotta's	character	was	making	out	with	his	secretary	when	his	new	wife	knocked	on	the	door	of	his	office	.	while	scrambling	to	collect	himself	,	he	frantically	shouted	to	her	,	"	just	wait	a	sex	er	,	i	mean	sec	!	"	i	was	struck	by	a	wave	of	revulsion	,	thinking	,	"	geez	,	didn't	lines	like	that	die	when	'three's	company'	was	canceled	?	"	over	the	next	few	minutes	,	as	the	barely	double	entendres	and	lingering	cleavage	shots	grew	more	numerous	,	i	realized	that	the	mindset	behind	"	heartbreakers	"	predated	"	three's	company	.	"	suddenly	,	i	had	an	out	of	body	experience	as	my	internal	way	back	machine	swept	me	to	the	mid	1960s	.	all	across	america	,	the	counter	culture	was	growing	like	wildfire	,	but	there	was	scant	evidence	of	it	on	tv	.	while	young	people	were	challenging	traditional	values	on	the	streets	,	frustrated	teenagers	like	me	were	stuck	at	home	,	sulking	while	our	parents	enjoyed	the	latest	bob	hope	special	.	women	in	skimpy	bathing	suits	would	prance	onscreen	while	hope	made	growling	noises	and	leered	at	their	breasts	.	on	another	channel	,	dean	martin	made	wisecracks	about	"	booze	and	broads	"	and	peter	lawford	,	decked	out	in	love	beads	and	a	nehru	jacket	,	purred	suggestive	one	liners	as	he	ogled	the	go	go	dancers	.
neg	these	are	words	that	could	be	used	to	describe	the	emotions	of	john	sayles'	characters	in	his	latest	,	limbo	.	but	no	,	i	use	them	to	describe	myself	after	sitting	through	his	latest	little	exercise	in	indie	egomania	.	i	can	forgive	many	things	.	but	using	some	hackneyed	,	whacked	out	,	screwed	up	non	ending	on	a	movie	is	unforgivable	.	i	walked	a	half	mile	in	the	rain	and	sat	through	two	hours	of	typical	,	plodding	sayles	melodrama	to	get	cheated	by	a	complete	and	total	copout	finale	.	does	sayles	think	he's	roger	corman	?
neg	simply	irresistible	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	(	out	of	)	20th	century	fox	1	:	36	1999	pg	13	(	language	,	sexual	suggestiveness	)	cast	:	sarah	michelle	gellar	;	sean	patrick	flanery	;	patricia	clarkson	;	dylan	baker	;	betty	buckley	;	larry	gillard	jr	.	director	:	mark	tarlov	screenplay	:	judith	roberts	hr	tv's	buffy	finds	herself	on	the	other	side	of	the	supernatural	spectrum	in	"	simply	irresistible	.	"	sarah	michelle	gellar	,	that	never	ceasing	crusader	against	never	ending	evil	every	tuesday	night	on	the	wb	network	,	here	plays	a	down	on	her	luck	chef	suspected	of	dabbling	in	witchcraft	after	her	flailing	restaurant	receives	help	in	the	form	of	magically	scrumptious	meals	.	taste	test	results	:	some	vampire	slaying	,	though	out	of	place	,	would	have	really	livened	this	excruciating	movie	up	.	"	simply	irresistible	"	is	actually	quite	easy	to	deny	,	a	disaster	of	culinary	and	other	proportions	pretty	much	from	the	opening	on	.	gellar's	amanda	finds	herself	falling	for	harried	henri	bendel	exec	tom	(	sean	patrick	flannery	of	powder	)	around	the	same	time	she	discovers	an	uncanny	ability	to	mystically	manifest	emotions	in	her	cooking	,	a	secret	ingredient	that	arouses	both	his	interest	in	her	and	the	public's	in	her	tiny	tribeca	eatery	.	all	this	love	and	sorcery	have	a	lot	to	do	with	the	telekinetic	crab	that	also	figures	into	the	story	,	a	tale	that	at	times	plays	like	an	american	spin	on	1993's	mexican	classic	"	like	water	for	chocolate	.	"	several	differences	:	one	,	"	like	water	"	didn't	have	a	telekinetic	crab	,	and	two	,	"	like	water	"	was	a	good	film	.	"	simply	irresistible	,	"	on	the	other	hand	,	is	about	as	challenging	as	an	easy	bake	oven	.	amateurishly	staged	scenes	cancel	each	other	out	in	their	badness	,	from	an	embarrassing	seduction	in	a	literal	vanilla	fog	to	an	impromptu	dance	sequence	where	tom	and	amanda	do	their	best	fred	and	ginger	though	fred	and	ginger	never	took	part	in	anything	this	garish	.	the	intrusive	musical	score	distracts	from	the	flat	dialogue	at	regular	intervals	,	but	it's	not	like	you're	were	going	to	miss	much	.	in	fact	,	take	away	the	few	instances	of	salty	language	and	this	has	made	for	disney	channel	written	all	over	it	.	but	a	majority	of	"	simply	irresistible	"	's	resistibility	factor	has	less	to	do	with	the	afore	mentioned	overkill	than	the	bland	leads	tom	and	amanda	are	so	thin	and	ambiguously	defined	that	there's	just	no	fun	rooting	for	their	inevitable	"	happily	ever	after	.	"	nor	do	the	otherworldly	powers	that	serve	to	bring	them	together	make	sense	,	so	we're	left	with	a	ho	hum	relationship	based	on	enchanted	eclairs	;	it's	not	going	to	last	long	,	people	.	perhaps	sensing	this	,	the	filmmakers	have	piled	on	weird	supporting	characters	for	acting	vets	like	betty	buckley	,	dylan	baker	and	patricia	clarkson	,	but	they	don't	go	anywhere	either	.	in	fact	,	nothing	in	"	simply	irresistible	"	goes	anywhere	save	for	gellar	,	and	she	doesn't	go	somewhere	so	much	as	you	wish	she'd	go	_	somewhere	_	like	to	a	better	movie	.	already	proving	major	talent	with	relatively	few	big	and	small	screen	roles	,	she's	the	sole	reason	this	overcooked	souffle	isn't	completely	fit	for	the	garbage	disposal	,	looking	smashing	in	her	todd	oldham	designed	duds	and	investing	much	more	in	her	perfunctory	part	than	she	ever	gets	in	return	.	it's	certainly	a	dish	best	not	served	in	it's	current	condition	,	but	one	can	only	guess	that	,	without	gellar	,	"	simply	irresistible	"	would	be	strictly	unwatchable	.	hr	1999	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	she	doubles	up	in	pain	.	her	body	is	wracked	by	great	cataclysmic	sobs	.	her	two	friends	weep	in	sympathy	,	the	three	of	them	wailing	and	gnashing	.	so	great	is	their	grief	that	mere	words	cannot	encompass	it	,	and	they	sink	to	the	ultimate	form	of	lamentation	:	they	clean	house	.	bitter	salt	tears	course	down	their	cheeks	as	they	ajax	the	bathtub	and	bab	o	the	pots	and	pans	,	while	the	audience	collapses	in	disbelieving	laughter	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	let's	talk	about	sex	"
neg	cast	:	bruce	willis	,	alec	baldwin	,	miko	hughes	,	chi	mcbride	,	kim	dickens	director	:	harold	becker	producers	:	brian	grazer	,	karen	kehela	screenplay	:	lawrence	konner	,	mark	rosenthal	based	on	the	novel	simple	simon	by	ryne	pearson	cinematography	:	michael	seresin	music	:	john	barry	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	universal	pictures	the	film	may	be	called	mercury	rising	,	but	that	title	doesn't	describe	the	trajectory	taken	by	this	motion	picture	,	a	routine	thriller	that	combines	government	cover	ups	with	a	cloying	and	poorly	motivated	buddy	story	.	the	"	hook	"	that	is	supposed	to	make	mercury	rising	unique	is	that	the	young	protagonist	is	autistic	.	however	,	aside	from	giving	actor	miko	hughes	a	chance	to	win	raves	for	his	performance	,	this	particular	aspect	of	the	film	comes	across	as	nothing	more	than	a	convenient	plot	device	.	those	expecting	to	see	even	a	semi	thorough	exploration	of	the	condition	will	be	disappointed	.	mercury	rising	treats	autism	with	the	same	degree	of	efficiency	that	many	action	thrillers	accord	to	alcoholism	.	the	script	for	mercury	rising	is	exceptionally	tiresome	and	hard	to	swallow	.	i	don't	know	whether	the	problem	is	in	the	original	book	,	simple	simon	,	or	in	the	screenplay	adaptation	,	but	this	movie	easily	exceeds	the	intangible	threshold	beyond	which	a	suspension	of	disbelief	is	no	longer	possible	.	once	again	,	certain	standby	plot	elements	the	high	level	government	conspiracy	and	the	maverick	law	enforcement	agent	are	recycled	,	and	not	to	good	effect	.	while	bruce	willis	can	play	the	action	hero	as	well	as	anyone	in	hollywood	,	this	particular	outing	leaves	him	marooned	in	situations	that	are	characterized	by	too	little	tension	and	too	much	nonsense	.	the	story	begins	with	a	formulaic	sequence	in	which	the	tough	fbi	agent	with	a	heart	of	gold	,	art	jeffries	(	bruce	willis	)	,	is	confronted	with	his	own	failure	.	unable	to	resolve	a	hostage	crisis	in	time	,	he	is	forced	to	observe	as	two	teenagers	are	shot	to	death	.	the	event	weighs	heavily	on	his	conscience	and	heavy	handedly	establishes	his	motivation	for	protecting	9	year	old	simon	lynch	(	miko	hughes	)	when	he	discovers	the	autistic	child	hiding	in	a	closet	after	his	parents	have	been	gunned	down	by	the	evil	hit	man	who	looks	like	an	ex	football	player	.	soon	,	art	and	simon	are	on	the	run	from	seemingly	everyone	fleeing	for	their	lives	and	bonding	at	the	same	time	,	with	the	evil	hit	man	who	looks	like	an	ex	football	player	always	just	a	step	behind	them	.	along	the	way	,	they	are	helped	by	the	best	friend	who	defies	orders	to	help	out	his	buddy	(	chi	mcbride	)	and	the	supporting	female	who	may	or	may	not	become	a	love	interest	(	kim	dickens	)	.	why	is	simon	in	danger	and	why	were	his	parents	turned	into	swiss	cheese	by	the	evil	hit	man	who	looks	like	an	ex	football	player	?	apparently	,	the	government	has	spent	millions	of	dollars	developing	an	ultra	secret	code	called	"	mercury	.	"	to	make	sure	it	can't	be	cracked	,	they	do	the	most	intuitive	thing	possible	:	place	a	sample	of	it	in	a	"	nerds'	puzzle	magazine	.	"	of	course	,	no	one	can	solve	it	no	one	except	autistic	simon	,	that	is	.	when	he	calls	the	phone	number	listed	in	the	solution	,	he	gets	the	nsa	.	as	a	result	,	the	cold	hearted	,	sneering	government	man	(	alec	baldwin	)	decides	that	simon	has	to	be	eliminated	for	the	good	of	the	country	,	of	course	.	but	he	hasn't	counted	on	the	tough	fbi	agent	with	a	heart	of	gold	,	even	though	everyone	in	the	audience	has	.	it's	hard	to	get	worked	up	about	a	routine	thriller	that	doesn't	do	anything	exceptionally	well	,	and	does	quite	a	few	things	rather	poorly	.	for	those	who	are	desperate	to	find	elements	of	this	movie	to	like	,	mercury	rising	manages	to	manufacture	tension	from	time	to	time	,	but	even	the	most	exciting	scenes	(	such	as	the	one	where	art	and	simon	are	crouched	down	,	avoiding	passing	trains	)	aren't	that	pulse	pounding	.	the	climactic	struggle	is	a	real	ho	hum	affair	which	leads	to	a	finale	that	is	painful	in	its	obviousness	.	overall	,	director	harold	becker	is	constantly	struggling	(	and	failing	)	to	generate	even	a	moment	that	isn't	derivative	or	obligatory	.	bruce	willis'	star	seems	to	be	fading	.	this	is	his	fourth	straight	lackluster	outing	,	following	last	man	standing	,	the	fifth	element	,	and	the	jackal	.	willis	isn't	terrible	,	but	this	is	the	kind	of	role	he	can	sleepwalk	through	,	and	often	does	.	alec	baldwin	,	combining	elements	of	his	characters	from	glengarry	glenn	ross	and	malice	,	does	some	scenery	chewing	,	but	his	performance	is	surprisingly	lacking	in	menace	.	the	film's	real	star	is	young	miko	hughes	(	heather	langenkamp's	son	in	wes	craven's	new	nightmare	)	,	who	does	as	good	a	job	as	dustin	hoffman	playing	an	autistic	individual	,	but	is	about	50	years	younger	.	mercury	rising	joins	the	likes	of	hard	rain	,	the	replacement	killers	,	and	u	.	s	.	marshals	on	the	heap	of	pallid	1998	thrillers	.	for	those	who	like	action	and	adventure	in	the	theater	,	this	has	not	been	a	good	year	.	hopefully	,	the	advent	of	summer	will	change	that	.	until	then	,	the	best	choices	(	for	bruce	willis	or	any	other	action	hero	)	are	on	video	.	and	,	if	you're	determined	to	see	mercury	rising	,	check	out	the	morning	sky	in	early	may	.
neg	principal	cast	:	marie	gignac	,	robert	lapage	,	celine	bonnier	director	screenwriter	:	peter	mettler	based	on	the	play	by	robert	lapage	in	english	and	french	with	subtitles	tectonic	plates	is	an	incredibly	painful	motion	picture	experience	that	nearly	prompted	me	to	walk	out	20	minutes	into	the	movie	.	the	film	(	which	opened	in	canada	during	1992	but	was	never	released	in	the	united	states	)	is	based	on	a	1988	stage	play	by	canadian	auteur	robert	lapage	,	and	,	while	it's	evident	that	this	could	be	a	fascinating	live	production	,	the	translation	to	the	screen	is	a	creative	disaster	.	enduring	tectonic	plates	is	like	sitting	through	a	filmed	version	of	performance	art	lifeless	and	tedious	.	the	qualities	that	make	it	captivating	when	seen	in	person	are	effaced	in	the	motion	picture	medium	.	tectonic	plates	has	a	storyline	,	although	the	narrative	is	developed	in	a	decidedly	non	traditional	fashion	,	with	shots	of	the	stagebound	play	intercut	with	more	typical	cinematic	sequences	.	it's	not	an	inherently	uninteresting	way	to	present	a	movie	(	despite	the	valid	complaint	that	it	is	pretentious	,	all	but	screaming	,	"	look	!	art	!	"	)	,	although	it	keeps	the	audience	distanced	from	the	characters	.	because	we're	constantly	made	aware	that	we're	watching	a	play	or	a	movie	,	it's	impossible	to	accept	these	individuals	as	anything	more	than	mouthpieces	for	the	writer's	ideas	.	they're	not	real	,	sympathetic	,	or	believable	.	i'm	willing	to	give	director	peter	mettler	credit	for	trying	something	different	,	but	this	particular	experiment	is	not	a	success	.	tectonic	plates	opens	by	introducing	us	to	madeleine	(	marie	gignac	)	,	an	art	student	studying	in	montreal	who	has	fallen	in	love	with	her	professor	,	jacques	(	lapage	)	.	one	day	,	he	disappears	,	and	,	fearing	that	he	left	because	she	was	undeserving	of	his	love	,	madeleine	travels	to	venice	to	kill	herself	.	while	preparing	to	commit	suicide	,	she	encounters	drug	addict	constance	(	celine	bonnier	)	,	who	causes	madeleine	to	re	think	her	decision	.	meanwhile	,	jacques	has	moved	to	new	york	city	,	where	he	starts	cross	dressing	,	calls	himself	jennifer	,	and	becomes	a	successful	counter	culture	talkshow	host	.	with	settings	that	shift	from	paris	to	venice	to	montreal	to	manhattan	to	scotland	,	supporting	characters	that	include	a	topless	goddess	and	a	deaf	mute	,	and	cultural	references	that	point	to	chopin	,	george	sand	,	and	jim	morrison	,	tectonic	plates	is	unique	,	if	nothing	else	.	however	,	as	interesting	as	the	film	sounds	(	and	i	was	excited	to	see	it	because	the	synopsis	is	promising	)	,	it	never	really	delivers	.	the	tone	is	soporific	,	the	supposedly	intellectual	prattle	is	inane	and	uninteresting	,	the	plot	meanders	in	a	pointless	and	irritating	manner	(	although	it	doesn't	take	long	for	the	viewer	to	determine	that	the	story	is	largely	unimportant	)	,	and	the	symbolism	is	obvious	.	tectonic	plates	is	trying	to	show	that	human	interaction	is	as	volatile	as	unpredictable	as	the	shifting	of	the	earth	,	but	it	takes	one	hundred	minutes	to	get	across	this	transparent	point	.	there	are	some	worthwhile	moments	,	such	as	a	silly	sword	fight	between	jacques	and	the	topless	goddess	and	an	entertaining	discussion	in	both	french	and	english	about	the	differences	between	the	two	languages	(	although	the	fine	points	will	certainly	be	lost	on	those	who	aren't	bilingual	)	.	the	only	people	likely	to	enjoy	tectonic	plates	are	those	who	feel	a	strong	need	to	praise	something	this	rootless	and	boring	because	(	a	)	it's	different	,	(	b	)	it's	not	like	anything	they've	seen	before	,	and	(	c	)	it's	pretentious	.	for	everyone	else	,	it's	not	only	a	waste	of	time	,	but	a	poor	introduction	to	the	work	of	robert	lapage	.
neg	in	my	opinion	,	a	movie	reviewer's	most	important	task	is	to	offer	an	explanation	for	his	opinion	.	but	with	soul	survivors	,	i'm	so	full	of	critical	rage	that	this	review	is	liable	to	turn	into	a	venomous	,	uncontrollable	rant	,	obligations	damned	.	however	,	protocol	forces	me	to	do	otherwise	.	soul	survivors	tells	the	story	of	four	college	bound	friends	:	cassandra	(	melissa	sagemiller	)	is	sweet	and	innocent	.	party	girl	annabel	(	eliza	dushku	of	bring	it	on	)	is	dating	world	weary	harvard	student	matt	(	wes	bentley	)	.	matt	still	has	feelings	for	cassie	,	who	is	now	dating	sean	(	casey	affleck	)	.	driving	back	from	a	creepy	,	gothic	party	,	the	quartet	gets	into	a	horrific	car	crash	.	sean	dies	,	leaving	cassie	crestfallen	and	guilty	,	made	worse	because	sean	saw	matt	kiss	cassie	just	minutes	after	sean	revealed	his	love	for	her	.	as	cassie	mopes	through	her	classes	,	she	sees	the	ghost	of	sean	all	over	the	place	,	urging	her	to	follow	him	.	along	with	being	plagued	by	other	ghastly	visions	,	cassie	is	also	followed	by	thugs	from	that	strange	party	.	annabel	and	matt	try	calming	her	down	,	but	no	one	shares	cass's	visions	.	she	has	to	figure	out	this	purgatory	all	by	herself	.	rarely	have	i	seen	a	director	so	thoroughly	mishandle	material	.	in	his	directorial	debut	,	steve	carpenter	does	nothing	to	provoke	the	audience	into	feeling	any	emotion	.	when	the	movie's	camerawork	isn't	pedestrian	,	it's	clichd	.	carpenter's	need	for	close	ups	,	his	camera	following	sagemiller	from	behind	,	drain	the	movie	of	any	anticipation	.	we	already	know	what	to	look	for	,	so	why	should	we	be	surprised	?	and	the	sense	of	scary	atmosphere	,	which	was	recently	done	so	well	in	the	others	,	is	nowhere	to	be	found	here	.	carpenter's	script	relies	on	random	twists	and	turns	with	a	minimum	of	logic	and	loads	of	laziness	.	this	is	a	movie	where	the	ending	features	one	character	providing	an	explanation	about	the	plot	to	another	character	,	which	is	one	of	the	lamest	screenwriting	devices	around	.	the	second	lamest	device	,	of	course	,	is	the	,	"	oh	,	it	was	all	a	dream	"	resolution	.	and	guess	what	?	this	movie	has	both	!	not	that	the	main	body	of	the	film	,	which	has	sagemiller	constantly	running	in	fear	or	having	a	nervous	breakdown	,	is	anything	worthwhile	.	since	there's	no	captivating	dialogue	,	no	character	chemistry	exists	anywhere	.	that's	a	huge	problem	,	since	the	four	main	characters	are	supposed	to	be	couples	.	carpenter	can't	even	get	the	smutty	scenes	right	,	which	are	becoming	more	prevalent	in	pg	13	movies	like	bring	it	on	and	get	over	it	.	the	film	was	recently	re	cut	from	an	r	rating	to	get	more	kids	in	the	seats	.	ed	.	when	sagemiller	and	dushku	dance	together	at	a	club	,	he	rarely	shows	them	in	a	full	shot	and	he	never	keeps	the	camera	on	them	for	longer	than	a	second	before	relating	to	some	michael	bay	style	quick	cuts	.	and	when	sagemiller	and	dushku	take	a	shower	together	after	getting	covered	in	paint	,	they're	fully	clothed	.	regardless	,	any	sexiness	in	that	scene	is	undercut	by	its	stupidity	.	why	wouldn't	they	wash	the	clothes	in	the	sink	or	in	the	washing	machine	?	why	would	they	shower	in	their	clothes	?	what	if	they	weren't	covered	in	latex	paint	?	the	cast	,	which	will	see	better	material	in	the	future	,	would	be	wise	to	leave	this	one	off	their	resumes	.	i	felt	sorry	for	affleck	,	who	i've	liked	in	other	movies	,	and	bentley	,	who	was	great	in	american	beauty	.	dushku	,	who	possesses	an	alluring	femme	fetale	quality	,	has	got	to	stop	taking	roles	belonging	to	rose	mcgowan	.	as	for	sagemiller	(	star	of	the	aforementioned	get	over	it	)	,	i	want	to	see	her	in	a	movie	where	she	plays	a	person	,	and	not	an	object	for	gawking	.	and	i'm	not	even	getting	into	luke	wilson's	role	as	a	priest	.	at	least	he's	friends	with	wes	anderson	.	bottom	line	:	soul	survivors	is	so	awful	i	feel	compelled	to	knock	on	doors	and	warn	people	about	it	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	wallpapers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	lara	croft	is	british	,	rich	and	kicks	a	lot	of	ass	.	she	also	likes	to	raid	tombs	but	when	the	illuminata	discover	that	all	nine	planets	are	about	to	stand	in	alignment	for	the	first	time	in	5000	years	,	and	that	lara	holds	the	key	to	time	,	well	,	needless	to	say	,	they	want	to	nab	it	from	her	.	oh	yeah	,	lara	also	likes	to	sport	a	lot	of	tight	shirts	.	.	.	hummana	hummana	hummana	.	.	.	critique	:	angelina	jolie	was	great	in	this	movie	.	there	were	also	about	three	"	action	scenes	"	that	were	pretty	cool	to	look	at	in	this	film	.	uhhhhhm	,	unfortunately	the	rest	of	the	movie	sucked	!	bad	dialogue	,	generic	sidekicks	and	bad	guys	,	a	lame	mystery	,	yoda	esque	moments	with	mumbo	jumbo	being	sprouted	about	and	even	some	crappy	cgi	near	the	end	.	all	in	all	,	this	movie	wasn't	the	horror	show	that	some	of	the	early	reviews	had	warned	us	about	,	especially	since	every	other	scene	does	feature	jolie's	torpedoes	begging	to	burst	out	of	her	lucky	shirts	,	but	it	was	quite	the	letdown	nonetheless	,	especially	when	you	consider	the	major	opportunity	that	the	filmmakers	had	here	to	create	a	cool	,	hip	woman	hero	,	based	on	a	popular	video	game	.	i	don't	know	,	i	guess	you	have	to	put	most	of	the	blame	on	director	simon	west	,	who	didn't	really	tie	the	whole	movie	together	all	that	well	.	the	film	lacked	energy	,	a	consistent	pace	and	well	.	.	.	a	fun	time	!	i	felt	kinda	depressed	while	watching	this	movie	.	all	that	"	father	"	crap	was	horrible	and	the	dialogue	given	to	poor	john	voight	to	recite	was	just	plain	embarrassing	(	and	i'm	not	even	gonna	mention	his	moustache	.	.	.	hehehe	)	.	why	have	this	shite	in	the	movie	at	all	?	!	?	i	especially	hated	the	scenes	in	which	some	ghost	like	figure	,	friend	or	child	would	ramble	on	about	lara	croft's	father	while	all	the	time	,	i'm	not	giving	one	ounce	of	crap	as	to	what	they're	talking	about	.	i	guess	that's	called	lack	of	"	character	development	"	,	right	?	that's	when	a	movie	builds	enough	background	into	the	characters	on	the	screen	,	so	that	we	could	actually	"	get	into	"	it	and	care	about	them	.	i	didn't	care	about	anyone	in	this	movie	,	and	was	bored	during	most	of	its	"	let's	explain	why	we're	doing	all	this	gobbledygook	"	moments	.	and	even	though	i	thought	that	jolie	kicked	some	mighty	ass	(	damn	,	did	she	look	sexy	blasting	those	guns	or	what	?	!	?	)	,	everybody	else	around	her	was	so	goddamn	boring	!	her	butler	was	a	throwaway	with	no	personality	,	her	side	kick	was	supposed	to	be	funny	but	just	annoyed	me	every	time	he	said	the	word	"	bugger	"	(	and	he	says	it	a	lot	,	trust	me	!	)	and	all	of	the	so	called	bad	guys	just	spewed	one	dimension	!	they	had	no	spark	,	no	energy	amongst	them	,	and	even	though	a	few	of	the	action	scenes	in	the	movie	were	cool	(	see	the	trailer	and	you'll	know	which	ones	i'm	talking	about	)	,	the	overall	picture	was	lame	and	the	dialogue	and	mystical	bull	crap	just	buried	it	even	further	.	also	,	for	a	movie	that's	supposed	to	be	about	all	of	these	exotic	locations	,	i	wasn't	necessarily	impressed	by	any	of	its	exterior	shots	,	and	even	less	so	with	its	interiors	,	which	all	looked	like	they	were	shot	in	the	same	room	.	mind	you	,	i	won't	go	as	far	as	to	say	that	it's	the	"	worst	movie	of	the	year	"	(	remember	that	i	actually	have	to	go	see	freddie	prinze	jr	.	movies	also	!	)	,	but	it's	definitely	the	worst	film	that	i've	seen	during	this	summer	movie	season	(	of	course	,	it's	still	early	and	i'm	sure	there	are	a	few	more	garbage	heaps	coming	down	the	pike	)	.	skip	this	one	altogether	and	rent	any	of	the	indiana	jones	movies	instead	.	.	.	trust	me	,	you'll	miss	the	boobs	but	end	your	night	with	some	rock	solid	porn	and	it's	all	good	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	(	10	10	)	the	mummy	(	8	10	)	lost	in	space	(	7	10	)	the	mummy	returns	(	6	10	)	the	general's	daughter	(	3	10	)	romancing	the	stone	(	7	10	)	wild	wild	west	(	3	10	)	mission	impossible	2	(	7	10	)
neg	i'll	admit	to	watching	the	early	1980's	inspector	gadget'	cartoon	,	and	probably	far	too	late	in	life	.	looks	like	now	i'm	waaaaay	too	old	for	this	kind	of	thing	,	but	judging	by	the	mute	stares	of	the	many	children	in	our	advance	screening	audience	,	maybe	they	are	too	.	inspector	gadget	the	live	action	version	starring	matthew	broderick	in	a	thankless	slapstick	role	tries	so	hard	to	be	funny	,	aiming	alternately	at	kids	and	their	parents	,	that	it	misses	on	all	counts	.	in	one	scene	,	gadget	will	grab	some	guy's	crotch	until	he	squeals	.	in	the	next	,	the	evil	dr	.	claw	(	everett	)	will	pontificate	on	how	his	moniker	is	one	word	,	like	madonna	.	'	do	kids	get	the	subtlety	of	the	joke	,	considering	everett	is	openly	gay	?	do	adults	think	it's	funny	?	nix	on	both	counts	,	and	the	super	streamlined	plot	line	(	john	brown	is	injured	and	becomes	superhuman	crime	fighting	machine	)	is	stolen	completely	from	robocop	.	how's	that	for	your	average	kiddie	movie	?	two	funny	items	of	note	earn	gadget	its	half	star	.	first	is	the	minion	recovery	group	scene	,	which	appears	during	the	closing	credits	.	second	is	actually	up	front	,	when	a	yahoo	!	'	billboard	crushes	claw's	limo	.	considering	that	disney's	go	network	is	now	an	arch	rival	of	yahoo	!	,	the	free	advertising	for	the	competition	(	which	likely	wasn't	an	issue	during	the	movie's	original	production	)	seems	particularly	ironic	.
neg	while	the	film	world	awaits	what	sounds	like	a	daring	experiment	from	director	richard	linklater	the	animated	waking	life	,	coming	in	october	the	filmmaker	attempts	to	hold	us	over	with	tape	,	a	failure	of	a	low	budget	project	if	ever	there	was	one	.	the	movie	is	shot	on	video	and	confined	to	a	single	motel	room	,	for	the	entirety	of	its	real	time	,	84	minute	length	.	with	such	restrictive	parameters	self	imposed	on	a	feature	,	success	really	must	lie	in	creative	direction	,	acting	power	,	and	a	solid	screenplay	.	all	three	are	non	existent	here	.	tape	is	based	on	a	play	by	stephen	belber	,	and	the	playwright	contributes	the	clunky	script	,	full	of	obvious	dialogue	and	silly	posturing	.	with	one	strike	already	against	them	,	the	experienced	,	name	cast	(	hawke	,	leonard	,	and	thurman	)	then	take	the	problem	a	step	further	,	apparently	not	realizing	that	performances	need	to	be	taken	down	a	notch	on	video	,	as	the	medium	tends	to	overexpose	every	movement	and	moment	.	(	while	thurman's	performance	is	good	,	the	trio	need	to	watch	brad	anderson's	session	9	for	a	good	example	of	subtle	acting	on	video	.	)	hawke	,	linklater's	before	sunrise	star	,	is	vince	,	a	manipulative	,	possibly	violent	drug	dealer	who's	reuniting	with	leonard's	johnny	,	ten	years	after	their	questionable	friendship	in	high	school	.	johnny	is	in	town	to	premiere	his	first	film	in	a	local	festival	,	and	they	convene	in	vince's	seedy	,	low	key	motel	room	.	through	some	poorly	delivered	dialogue	although	much	of	it	can't	be	saved	from	the	page	anyway	we	learn	of	vince's	problematic	tendencies	and	johnny's	existence	as	a	self	proclaimed	goody	two	shoes	,	high	on	moral	fiber	and	good	intentions	.	when	vince	pushes	johnny's	buttons	in	just	the	right	way	,	a	revelation	surfaces	,	steeped	in	jealousy	and	revenge	.	fellow	classmate	thurman	is	then	thrown	into	the	mix	,	as	is	,	unfortunately	for	her	,	the	motel	room	.	it	must	be	quite	a	challenge	adapting	a	stage	play	to	the	screen	,	as	many	plays	can	be	painfully	static	in	comparison	to	the	cinematic	rhythms	of	a	film	.	one	would	think	that	camera	movement	and	placement	could	truly	turn	a	"	stagy	"	setup	into	a	visually	intriguing	film	(	lumet's	deathtrap	comes	to	mind	,	as	do	the	warehouse	scenes	in	tarantino's	reservoir	dogs	)	.	so	it's	quite	a	disappointment	to	see	linklater's	direction	of	tape	alternate	between	being	stale	and	clich	.	when	he's	not	spending	too	much	time	sitting	on	one	shot	trying	to	be	kind	of	video	"	underground	"	,	i	guess	he's	pulling	off	annoying	swish	pans	between	hawke	and	leonard	while	they	argue	,	trying	way	too	hard	to	force	some	urgency	.	hawke's	performance	reeks	of	exaggeration	,	and	leonard	would	appear	to	be	a	plain	old	bad	actor	.	he	barely	gets	into	the	role	,	looking	as	if	he	were	auditioning	for	the	school	play	.	the	plaintive	,	wimpy	,	holier	than	thou	stance	that	he	applies	to	johnny	comes	off	as	being	not	only	annoying	,	but	wholly	stilted	.	i	kept	hoping	for	vince	to	sock	john	in	the	face	,	but	alas	,	it	never	happens	.	things	perk	up	when	uma	thurman's	amy	joins	the	fray	,	not	only	because	it	highlights	the	smartest	points	of	the	script	,	but	because	thurman's	performance	is	the	richest	of	the	three	.	she	plays	it	nave	,	mysterious	,	and	collected	,	and	it	helps	push	through	the	finale	a	finale	which	linklater	and	belber	surely	think	is	cooler	than	it	actually	is	.	reviewed	as	part	of	our	2001	boston	film	festival	coverage	(	feature	story	coming	soon	)	.
neg	when	i	arrived	in	paris	in	june	,	1992	,	i	was	surprised	to	find	france	plastered	with	posters	twin	peaks	:	fire	walk	with	me	,	since	the	movie	wasn't	scheduled	to	open	in	the	u	.	s	.	until	late	august	.	happily	,	the	film	the	prequel	to	david	lynch's	cult	television	series	was	playing	in	a	fancy	,	thx	theater	.	unfortunately	,	the	theater	was	far	more	impressive	than	the	movie	,	which	absolutely	stinks	,	much	like	a	french	lavatory	.	worse	,	actually	.	fire	walk	with	me	(	directed	by	lynch	)	will	be	completely	incomprehensible	to	anyone	who	has	not	seen	the	tv	series	or	read	"	laura	palmer's	secret	diary	.	"	for	"	twin	peaks	"	junkies	,	like	me	,	the	movie	is	only	marginally	improved	.	the	plot	is	jumbled	and	illogical	,	not	to	mention	excruciatingly	sluggish	.	the	first	30	minutes	,	which	have	almost	nothing	to	do	with	the	main	story	line	,	feature	chris	isaak	and	kiefer	sutherland	as	fbi	agents	investigating	a	murder	in	portland	,	oregon	.	the	movie	then	stops	in	philadelphia	for	a	nonsensical	cameo	by	david	bowie	and	a	brief	appearance	by	kyle	maclachlan	as	dale	cooper	.	lynch	then	drops	this	plot	strand	altogether	and	abruptly	shifts	the	setting	to	twin	peaks	,	washington	one	year	later	.	ah	,	twin	peaks	:	"	familiar	territory	,	"	you	think	to	yourself	as	angelo	badalamenti's	distinctive	musical	score	chimes	in	.	wrong	!	the	movie	proves	that	you	really	can't	go	home	again	,	or	at	least	lynch	can't	.	only	about	a	quarter	of	the	characters	from	the	tv	series	appear	in	the	movie	:	leland	palmer	,	bobby	briggs	,	james	,	shelly	,	leo	,	the	log	lady	and	a	few	others	mostly	in	meaningless	cameos	.	the	rest	of	the	"	twin	peaks	"	cast	is	nowhere	to	be	seen	,	and	consequently	,	lynch	fails	to	recreate	the	spirit	and	flavor	of	tv's	most	enigmatic	town	.	cast	members	michael	ontkean	,	sherilyn	fenn	,	piper	laurie	,	and	richard	beymer	are	sorely	missed	,	not	to	mention	lara	flynn	boyle	,	who	has	been	replaced	by	lackluster	moira	kelly	in	the	crucial	role	of	donna	.	the	movie	concentrates	solely	on	laura	palmer	(	sheryl	lee	)	as	she	suffers	through	drug	abuse	,	prostitution	,	and	incest	,	during	her	miserable	last	seven	days	on	earth	.	the	night	of	laura's	death	,	which	is	truly	terrifying	,	is	the	film's	only	remotely	effective	sequence	.	we	finally	get	to	see	exactly	what	happened	to	laura	after	she	jumped	off	james'	motorcycle	and	ran	into	the	woods	at	that	lonely	traffic	light	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	.	her	murder	unfolds	just	as	agent	cooper	reconstructed	it	in	the	tv	series	,	which	is	gratifying	for	faithful	"	twin	peaks	"	viewers	.	but	it's	an	awfully	small	reward	for	sitting	through	a	painfully	awful	movie	.
neg	directed	by	griffin	dunne	.	cast	:	sandra	bullock	,	nicole	kidman	,	stockard	channing	,	dianne	wiest	,	aidan	quinn	,	goran	visjnic	,	chloe	webb	,	lucinda	jenney	.	1998	105	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	(	for	mild	violence	,	profanity	,	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	october	17	,	1998	.	"	practical	magic	,	"	is	a	film	that	is	so	misguided	in	so	many	ways	that	it	makes	you	wonder	how	such	talented	and	high	profile	actors	would	even	get	involved	in	an	embarrassing	clap	trap	like	this	one	.	the	film	stars	sandra	bullock	and	nicole	kidman	as	sally	and	gillian	owens	,	two	sisters	whose	family	comes	from	a	long	line	of	witches	,	spanning	back	200	years	.	at	the	start	,	their	parents	die	when	they	are	still	children	,	and	they	go	to	live	with	their	two	zany	aunts	(	stockard	channing	and	dianne	wiest	)	.	switch	to	the	present	day	,	gillian	,	who	is	the	stronger	,	more	rebellious	sibling	,	leaves	home	,	and	meets	up	with	a	dark	,	abusive	guy	(	goran	visjnic	)	,	while	sally	stays	in	their	hometown	,	meets	and	falls	in	love	with	a	sweet	,	caring	man	,	has	two	children	,	and	then	is	devastated	when	her	husband	is	hit	by	a	truck	and	killed	(	come	to	think	of	it	,	she's	not	too	devastated	since	she	gets	over	it	in	about	two	minutes	)	.	when	gillian	calls	sally	to	come	get	her	after	having	another	abusive	spat	with	visjnic	,	they	accidentally	murder	him	,	and	in	desperation	,	bury	the	body	in	the	backyard	of	their	aunts'	house	.	add	to	this	wildly	convoluted	story	subplots	involving	the	dead	rising	and	an	exorcism	,	not	to	mention	a	spattering	of	"	light	hearted	whimsy	,	"	and	you	have	a	pretty	good	idea	how	messy	"	practical	magic	"	is	.	after	seeing	the	film	,	i	reflected	that	there	was	not	even	one	scene	,	or	element	,	that	i	liked	or	enjoyed	.	it	is	a	comedy	,	to	be	sure	,	but	all	of	the	humor	falls	astoundingly	flat	,	and	the	occasional	dramatic	moments	are	the	least	bit	touching	.	it	is	not	charming	or	entertaining	in	any	way	.	and	then	to	top	it	off	,	we've	got	this	dark	,	but	bird	brained	story	of	an	evil	spirit	taking	over	gillian's	body	.	whatever	.	the	characters	are	handled	terribly	,	and	actually	,	most	of	the	actors	do	not	have	the	fortune	of	even	getting	to	be	what	you	could	call	a	character	.	there	is	no	reason	why	channing	and	wiest	should	have	decided	to	be	in	this	film	,	and	in	every	scene	involving	them	,	they	are	always	standing	side	by	side	.	no	attempt	is	made	to	flesh	them	out	into	actual	people	.	the	same	goes	for	aidan	quinn	,	as	a	handsome	police	investigator	,	who	has	the	misfortune	of	being	the	romantic	lead	opposite	bullock	,	even	though	he	comes	into	it	at	around	the	70	minute	mark	,	and	once	again	,	there	is	no	attempt	to	develop	their	relationship	,	or	his	character	,	in	any	way	.	in	fact	,	every	line	of	dialogue	in	the	film	is	in	service	of	moving	the	plot	along	,	rather	than	getting	to	know	the	people	saying	the	lines	.	i	should	have	know	i	was	headed	for	trouble	during	the	opening	credits	,	when	i	found	out	the	screenplay	was	written	by	the	deeply	hated	akiva	goldsman	,	who	managed	to	destroy	the	"	batman	"	series	with	"	batman	forever	"	and	"	batman	and	robin	.	"	"	practical	magic	"	is	directed	by	griffin	dunne	,	primarily	an	actor	,	who	last	year	made	the	contrived	,	clumsy	romance	,	"	addicted	to	love	,	"	with	meg	ryan	and	matthew	broderick	.	i	disliked	that	movie	quite	a	bit	,	but	since	"	practical	magic	"	is	even	worse	,	that	can	only	give	you	a	taste	of	what	a	talentless	filmmaker	he	is	.	i'd	tell	him	to	quit	while	he's	ahead	,	but	in	these	last	two	years	,	he's	ultimately	already	buried	himself	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	keep	cool	,	a	chinese	film	directed	by	semi	accomplished	filmmaker	yimou	zhang	,	was	one	of	the	kickoff	films	for	this	year's	hawaii	international	film	festival	.	on	the	day	it	premiered	,	lines	of	eager	moviegoers	stretched	around	the	block	,	some	anticipants	having	queued	up	well	in	advance	to	get	a	good	seat	in	the	theater	.	they	need	not	have	wasted	their	time	.	the	movie	is	billed	as	a	comedy	,	but	is	surprisingly	bereft	of	humor	.	there	are	noticeable	attempts	at	laughs	,	but	very	few	tries	actually	click	.	i	wondered	if	there	were	jokes	that	i	wasn't	getting	because	i'm	not	from	china	,	but	unfortunately	my	conclusion	was	that	this	lack	of	humor	couldn't	be	attributed	to	the	cultural	barrier	either	.	keep	cool	just	isn't	very	funny	.	the	prelude	to	the	film	was	a	visit	by	keep	cool's	producer	who	,	with	the	help	of	an	interpreter	,	regaled	us	of	how	in	order	to	get	the	print	to	the	festival	in	time	,	an	assistant	hand	carried	it	on	the	plane	from	china	to	hawaii	.	although	the	print	made	it	,	the	assistant's	luggage	was	lost	.	too	bad	that	story	wasn't	in	the	movie	,	because	it	got	a	big	laugh	.	qu	ying	,	the	film's	female	lead	,	was	also	on	hand	to	give	a	few	comments	.	however	,	whereas	the	producer	politely	made	regular	pauses	in	his	dialog	so	the	interpreter	could	bring	us	up	to	speed	,	ms	.	ying	saw	fit	to	say	everything	she	had	to	say	in	one	,	fast	paced	,	incredibly	long	tirade	.	it	was	dizzying	;	good	foreshadowing	for	the	film	.	you	see	,	keep	cool	is	filmed	almost	totally	with	a	camera	handheld	by	a	man	with	a	bad	case	of	the	shakes	.	at	least	that's	the	way	it	seems	,	since	the	camera	is	constantly	moving	.	cinema	verite	is	one	thing	,	but	panning	and	shaking	around	until	your	audience	has	a	headache	is	another	.	although	some	might	consider	it	a	form	which	helps	give	the	viewer	an	idea	of	the	anarchic	state	into	which	chinese	youth	is	slowly	growing	,	i	found	it	thoroughly	distracting	,	and	after	a	while	,	quite	annoying	.	headache	,	as	i	said	.	the	film	is	about	a	young	bookseller	(	wen	jiang	)	who	is	after	a	young	woman	(	qu	ying	)	.	they	used	to	be	romantically	involved	,	but	the	woman	grew	tired	of	him	and	left	the	relationship	.	the	first	half	of	the	film	is	about	the	young	man's	plan	to	win	her	back	.	of	course	the	thing	is	,	she	doesn't	want	to	be	won	back	,	and	has	a	nightclub	owner	friend	of	hers	rough	him	up	a	bit	.	in	the	fight	,	the	young	man	grabs	a	laptop	computer	belonging	to	a	bystander	and	attempts	to	use	it	to	fend	off	his	attacker	,	but	only	ends	up	smashing	it	against	a	lamppost	.	we	later	find	out	that	the	laptop	belongs	to	an	older	man	who	wishes	to	get	his	damaged	computer	replaced	.	there	is	a	funny	scene	(	the	only	one	in	the	film	)	where	the	young	man	tries	to	use	some	twisted	logic	in	order	to	get	the	older	man	to	seek	out	the	nightclub	owner	(	baotian	li	)	in	order	to	recoup	his	losses	.	there	is	no	sense	to	be	made	out	of	the	young	woman's	behavior	;	cold	one	minute	,	caring	the	next	,	so	we	feel	no	sympathy	for	her	character	.	the	bookseller	would	be	better	off	without	her	.	although	the	second	half	of	the	film	causes	us	to	lose	a	lot	of	sympathy	for	the	young	bookseller	as	well	,	who	is	obsessed	with	chopping	off	the	nightclub	owner's	hand	as	revenge	for	the	beating	he	took	,	it	also	offers	us	some	nice	interaction	between	the	bookseller	and	the	older	man	.	while	the	bookseller	is	blinded	by	his	thirst	for	revenge	,	the	older	man	is	the	voice	of	reason	and	tries	to	rationalize	each	situation	.	his	quest	to	end	the	dispute	peacefully	and	equitably	is	the	one	we	identify	with	,	but	it	is	frustrating	to	see	that	he	seems	to	be	talking	to	a	brick	wall	half	the	time	.	a	friendship	develops	between	the	two	men	,	but	it	occurs	too	late	in	the	film	for	the	audience	to	appreciate	.	although	only	an	hour	and	a	half	in	length	,	keep	cool	contains	extraneous	material	.	the	whole	plot	of	how	the	bookseller	is	after	the	young	woman	could	have	been	taken	out	,	since	we	don't	see	her	from	the	midpoint	on	.	a	case	of	mistaken	identity	or	some	other	device	could	have	served	as	the	point	of	conflict	between	the	bookseller	and	the	nightclub	owner	,	and	would	have	saved	us	from	the	bookseller's	boring	pursuit	during	the	first	half	.	but	of	course	,	this	would	have	shortened	the	movie	to	less	than	an	hour	.	there	are	a	few	things	that	keep	cool	does	right	.	as	mentioned	before	,	the	interaction	between	the	bookseller	and	the	older	man	is	generally	pretty	good	.	although	it	grows	tiresome	,	the	reasoning	with	the	unreasonable	is	a	nice	exercise	in	logic	,	and	represents	the	differences	in	thinking	between	generations	.	in	one	scene	,	for	example	,	the	bookseller	quotes	confucius	to	get	his	point	across	,	but	the	older	man	claims	the	quote	was	misinterpreted	,	and	that	it	means	something	entirely	different	.	also	effective	is	the	way	zhang	sets	up	tension	within	a	scene	,	such	as	when	the	bookseller	is	getting	ready	to	cut	off	the	hand	of	the	unwitting	nightclub	owner	.	the	nightclub	owner	is	counting	out	money	,	slapping	each	bundle	of	currency	on	the	table	.	with	every	shot	of	his	hand	,	we	can	hardly	stand	the	interminable	wait	before	the	bookseller	is	going	to	pull	out	his	cleaver	and	exact	his	revenge	.	unfortunately	,	these	crumbs	are	not	enough	to	overcome	the	rest	of	the	film's	shortcomings	,	and	weren't	enough	to	prevent	that	headache	from	lingering	after	i	left	the	theater	.
neg	8mm	,	written	by	seven	scribe	andrew	kevin	walker	,	has	an	interesting	idea	which	is	ruined	by	hollywood	formula	to	become	a	bog	standard	murder	mystery	.	nicolas	cage	plays	family	man	detective	tom	welles	,	who	is	asked	by	upper	class	toff	mrs	.	christian	(	myra	carter	)	to	investigate	an	movie	found	in	her	recently	deceased	husbands	safe	.	the	movie	happens	to	be	an	mythical	'snuff	movie'	,	where	the	girl	featured	in	the	film	appears	to	get	brutally	slashed	.	all	mrs	.	christian	wants	to	know	if	the	girl	in	the	film	was	killed	or	not	.	welles	agrees	,	and	soon	gets	pulled	into	the	seedy	underworld	of	porn	movies	,	with	video	clerk	max	california	(	phoenix	)	as	his	guide	.	although	the	'snuff'	industry	hasn't	really	been	examined	in	mainstream	cinema	,	8mm	still	makes	a	rather	plodding	thriller	which	just	seems	to	be	a	bit	sicker	than	most	.	the	snuff	movie	within	the	movie	is	certainly	disturbing	,	although	the	jerky	camera	angles	and	grainy	image	takes	some	of	the	shock	away	.	8mm	has	the	problem	of	not	wanting	to	shock	too	much	,	and	apart	from	a	few	moments	,	most	of	the	action	in	the	film	is	nothing	you	haven't	seen	from	another	standard	thriller	.	the	cast	help	towards	the	entertainment	,	apart	from	an	hideous	performance	by	the	increasingly	lazy	nicolas	cage	.	while	he	was	fun	and	breezy	in	earlier	films	such	as	raising	arizona	(	1987	)	,	ever	since	leaving	las	vegas	(	1995	)	,	cage	has	lost	much	of	his	acting	talent	and	appears	to	be	on	autopilot	,	such	as	in	the	terrible	snake	eyes	(	1998	.	)	here	,	in	8mm	,	he's	boring	,	uninteresting	and	has	a	dull	monotonous	voice	.	and	in	this	overlong	thriller	,	these	virtues	do	not	help	keep	the	suspense	up	.	only	when	cage	is	onscreen	with	the	excellent	phoenix	does	the	film	start	moving	,	as	phoenix	is	a	true	talent	.	his	performance	is	a	great	break	away	from	the	gloom	,	and	he's	just	purely	enjoyable	to	watch	.	catherine	keener	is	completely	wasted	as	cage's	wife	,	although	she	delivers	a	far	better	performance	than	her	character	deserves	.	her	character	,	though	,	is	hugely	underwritten	,	one	of	the	most	wasted	characters	of	the	year	.	also	fun	is	fargo's	peter	stormare	as	the	wildly	over	the	top	snuff	film	director	.	as	this	film	is	written	by	the	person	behind	seven	,	8mm	is	filled	with	doom	and	gloom	,	and	no	one	appears	to	know	how	to	use	an	light	switch	.	unlike	seven	,	8mm	isn't	too	clever	,	and	the	twist	is	pathetic	and	startlingly	obvious	when	it	arrives	.	lacking	the	strong	characters	seven	featured	,	8mm	ultimately	becomes	uninvolving	plot	wise	,	and	relies	on	the	graphic	scenes	to	provide	any	entertainment	.	but	director	joel	schumacher	,	the	completely	wrong	guy	for	the	job	,	puts	style	over	content	,	and	while	the	direction	and	look	are	good	,	it's	just	not	very	disturbing	.	schumacher	also	has	no	idea	how	to	shock	and	audience	,	and	though	we	are	meant	to	be	looking	at	the	'dark	belly'	of	the	porn	industry	,	it	doesn't	exactly	leave	an	haunting	impression	on	the	viewers	mind	,	which	misses	the	point	.	also	,	the	last	20	minutes	are	so	hackneyed	,	so	cliched	,	it's	amazing	to	think	it's	the	same	film	you're	watching	.	8mm	is	far	from	an	success	,	a	'snuffed'	opportunity	.	with	a	boring	lead	character	,	'controversial'	scenes	that	manage	not	to	be	controversial	,	and	a	director	obsessed	with	looks	,	what	could	have	been	one	of	the	most	shocking	films	of	the	year	is	a	dumb	thriller	.	ultimately	,	8mm	is	probably	worth	renting	on	home	video	,	unless	your	desperate	to	see	what	the	snuff	film	within	the	film	looks	like	.	and	trust	me	,	the	rest	of	the	2	hours	are	not	worth	it	.
neg	directed	by	:	martin	brest	written	by	:	ron	osborn	,	jeff	reno	,	kevin	wade	and	bo	goldman	(	based	on	the	play	"	death	takes	a	holiday	"	by	alberto	casella	cast	:	anthony	hopkins	,	brad	pitt	,	claire	forlani	,	jeffrey	tambor	mpaa	:	rated	pg	13	for	an	accident	scene	,	some	sexuality	and	brief	strong	language	.	runtime	:	usa	:	178	reviewed	by	:	alex	ioshpe	(	c	)	1998	hr	i	have	never	been	so	confused	after	watching	a	movie	.	"	meet	joe	black	"	is	probably	one	of	the	most	visually	satisfying	films	of	this	year	,	with	a	cinematography	,	music	and	cast	that	will	dazzle	most	of	us	.	at	the	same	time	it	is	probably	the	most	boring	and	ridiculous	experience	hat	you	will	have	this	season	.	at	first	you	marvel	at	the	elegant	direction	,	graceful	cinematography	and	sensual	musical	score	.	then	you'll	wait	for	something	to	happen	for	half	an	hour	,	but	when	you	finally	understand	what's	going	on	,	you'll	wonder	what	are	actors	such	as	anthony	hopkins	,	brad	pitt	and	claire	forlani	are	doing	in	a	film	like	this	?	the	script	is	simply	a	silly	and	unresolved	story	,	which	is	artificially	stretched	into	a	three	hour	long	motion	picture	.	it	feels	like	an	eternity	.	most	of	the	time	it	is	a	pompous	soap	opera	,	filled	with	empty	dialogue	that	the	actors	deliver	in	a	high	pitched	voice	and	"	meaningful	"	winks	.	the	film	is	based	on	alberto	caesella's	play	"	death	takes	a	holiday	"	.	the	story	concentrates	around	bill	(	anthony	hopkins	)	who	lives	a	fulfilled	life	as	a	successful	business	man	,	but	sometimes	he	wakes	up	in	the	middle	of	the	night	and	hears	a	voice	that	is	saying	"	yes	"	.	soon	he	meets	a	young	elegant	gentlemen	(	brad	pitt	)	who	introduces	himself	as	"	death	"	.	it	is	bill's	time	.	but	death	has	other	plans	.	it	has	come	down	to	us	simple	mortals	to	find	out	what	it	means	to	be	alive	.	our	bill	is	chosen	to	be	death's	guide	and	in	exchange	he	gets	time	.	bill	introduces	death	as	joe	black	,	who	immediately	becomes	the	center	of	everyone's	attention	.	bill's	business	partners	speculate	about	why	joe	is	constantly	at	bill's	side	,	lives	in	his	house	and	resides	at	his	office	.	that	is	not	all	,	however	.	bill's	youngest	daughter	susan	(	claire	forlani	)	falls	in	love	with	the	mysterious	stranger	and	joe	falls	in	love	with	her	.	this	relationship	is	bound	to	have	some	serious	consequences	.	it	wouldn't	be	fair	to	say	that	this	film	didn't	have	some	interesting	moments	,	such	as	the	scene	where	joe	is	invited	to	join	bill's	family	for	dinner	.	when	joe	starts	enjoying	peanut	butter	and	later	falls	in	love	,	the	experience	is	somewhat	different	.	it	is	obvious	that	a	story	like	this	story	is	very	difficult	to	structure	.	it's	one	thing	to	say	:	"	wouldn't	it	be	fun	to	have	death	take	human	form	and	come	down	to	earth	.	.	"	to	create	a	motion	picture	out	of	this	is	another	.	four	screenwriters	have	worked	on	a	script	that	lacks	drive	and	logic	.	it	is	overlong	and	too	primitive	to	pass	as	a	serious	film	.	on	the	other	hand	it	demonstrates	incredible	performances	and	a	very	decent	direction	by	martin	brest	(	"	scent	of	a	woman	"	)	.	hopkins	looks	great	in	any	role	,	and	no	matter	how	shallow	or	hollow	it	is	,	he	will	complete	it	.	his	talent	and	charisma	are	needed	here	more	than	any	where	else	,	since	it	actually	saves	the	film	from	a	complete	embarrassment	.	but	pitt	is	the	one	that	got	one	of	the	most	difficult	roles	of	recent	time	.	how	can	you	play	death	in	human	form	?	to	me	it	seems	that	death	and	life	are	not	something	that	can	be	associated	with	earthly	matters	.	they	are	not	creatures	,	but	phenomenas	.	saying	that	death	takes	human	form	would	be	the	same	as	to	suggest	that	eternity	would	take	human	form	.	handling	such	a	ridiculous	task	is	incredibly	difficult	and	pitt	deserves	some	credit	for	his	work	.	speaking	in	a	calm	,	soft	voice	,	portraying	death	as	a	lonely	,	distant	and	powerful	guy	that	is	unfamiliar	with	practical	earthly	matters	.	he	looks	and	acts	more	like	an	angel	of	death	,	rather	than	a	demon	or	a	red	eyed	executioner	.	claire	forlani	and	others	are	also	fine	,	stretching	their	stereotypical	characters	to	their	limits	.	unfortunately	their	performances	are	not	enough	to	rescue	this	film	from	its	self	inflicted	misery	.	in	other	words	this	is	not	what	i	expected	from	the	director	of	"	scent	of	a	woman	"	.	it	could	(	and	should	)	be	better	with	such	cast	and	crew	.	in	the	end	it	seems	as	if	they	have	all	been	intensively	working	on	a	ravishingly	looking	soap	opera	.
neg	fit	for	a	ghoul's	night	out	,	fat	girl	stands	cast	iron	firm	with	the	simplistic	,	fatuous	,	built	in	excuse	that	its	woman	director	is	baring	the	harsh	sexual	realities	of	adolescent	girls	.	being	a	boy	,	i	might	not	understand	female	behavior	and	am	unequipped	to	analyze	this	particular	pseudo	feminist	coming	of	age	story	.	fair	enough	.	i'll	pretend	to	ignore	the	mannered	posturing	and	health	class	101	"	this	is	a	no	no	"	dialogue	when	older	teenage	boy	coaxes	younger	teenage	girl	to	let	him	fuck	her	up	the	ass	,	speaking	variations	on	"	it	won't	hurt	!	"	for	a	scene	that	seems	to	last	at	least	ten	minutes	.	this	is	done	almost	entirely	in	an	unbroken	master	shot	that	suggests	unimaginative	camerawork	more	than	unblinking	voyeurism	.	they	dare	you	to	look	away	,	without	possessing	the	courage	of	allowing	the	children	to	actually	sound	like	children	(	they're	mouthpieces	for	writer	director	catherine	breillat's	one	note	clinical	politics	)	.	rather	than	show	an	even	handed	evaluation	of	the	rigors	of	hormonal	change	,	breillat	(	previously	responsible	for	the	unwatchable	romance	)	wants	to	indulge	in	her	hour	of	hate	.	life	is	pain	,	highness	.	get	used	to	it	.	she'd	find	keen	bedfellows	in	neil	labute	and	todd	solondz	,	other	sultans	of	misanthropy	who	lack	the	balls	to	be	earnest	or	honest	.	for	children	,	dealing	with	trauma	and	pain	is	complicated	.	to	bury	that	in	sarcasm	and	academic	theory	feels	cheap	.	these	would	be	auteurs	(	more	like	hauteurs	)	haven't	earned	the	right	to	display	suffering	because	they	don't	layer	it	in	emotional	truth	(	as	mike	leigh	does	throughout	naked	and	david	lynch	in	several	key	scenes	of	blue	velvet	)	.	of	course	,	there	i	go	again	comparing	her	to	all	these	(	better	)	male	directors	.	i	don't	care	.	gender	be	damned	,	she's	borderline	inept	.	braced	for	a	knee	jerk	reaction	from	the	art	house	crowd	(	mortified	shock	or	compulsory	applause	will	suffice	)	,	writer	director	catherine	breillat	may	well	accomplish	her	mission	to	get	a	rise	out	of	people	.	don't	be	fooled	.	this	grotesque	oversimplification	of	awkward	forays	into	passion	may	be	quickly	forgotten	,	remembered	only	as	cold	,	boring	,	philosophically	arid	,	and	incompetently	photographed	.	the	hyperviolent	climactic	sequence	proves	so	extraordinarily	misguided	that	i	honestly	wondered	whether	breillat	had	thrown	in	an	impromptu	dream	sequence	.	twelve	years	old	,	a	bundle	of	dough	with	a	sour	pout	,	the	superb	anas	reboux	plays	the	titular	fat	girl	with	a	thousand	yard	stare	and	a	frumpy	insouciance	.	(	her	character	is	also	named	anas	.	)	sitting	at	the	table	morosely	slurping	down	a	banana	split	,	her	presence	is	grounded	and	heartbreaking	.	it's	a	pity	breillat	never	finds	anything	for	her	to	do	other	than	get	defensive	against	her	evil	storybook	sister	,	15	year	old	elena	(	roxane	mesquida	)	,	for	bringing	a	transitory	boyfriend	home	to	their	shared	room	.	in	this	summer	cottage	,	anas	has	no	escape	from	her	position	as	stoic	bedside	observer	to	elena's	depressing	confusion	of	cheap	sex	with	romance	.	the	boy	in	question	,	a	smug	italian	college	kid	named	fernando	(	libero	de	rienzo	)	is	a	real	piece	of	work	,	claiming	that	the	experience	is	a	declaration	of	love	while	begging	for	a	blowjob	.	anas	doesn't	receive	any	warmth	from	her	largely	absent	parents	,	who	join	elena	in	making	fun	of	her	hefty	girth	.	she	finds	pleasure	in	wandering	the	beach	alone	,	singing	songs	to	herself	,	and	swimming	in	the	pool	kissing	the	metal	railing	and	pretending	that	it's	her	paramour	.	reboux	commands	the	screen	,	but	there's	only	so	much	a	child	actress	can	do	recounting	pretentious	monologues	to	herself	.	if	one	is	inspired	to	rescue	this	young	performer	and	place	her	in	a	better	movie	,	at	least	she	fares	better	than	the	other	young	talent	asked	to	perform	in	intense	love	scenes	that	might	feel	justified	if	they	weren't	so	dramatically	misguided	.	this	83	minute	vignette	is	something	of	a	horror	show	,	but	breillat	saves	her	nastiest	poison	for	the	very	end	.	on	the	long	ride	home	punctuated	by	an	uncomfortable	silence	between	family	members	,	gigantic	trucks	swerve	by	as	the	hour	grows	late	.	will	mommy	fall	asleep	at	the	wheel	?	perhaps	.	or	maybe	there's	something	deadlier	around	the	corner	,	lying	in	wait	to	pounce	upon	the	unsuspecting	fat	girl	.	what's	more	,	she	might	even	like	it	.	with	the	intent	of	being	unfair	and	unpredictable	,	placing	her	heroine	in	the	most	diabolical	of	corners	in	order	to	face	up	to	impending	adulthood	,	breillat's	extreme	flourish	of	sadistic	tawdriness	reveals	her	as	a	master	purveyor	of	contempt	.	fat	girl	is	a	bitter	pill	indeed	.	aka	ma	soeur	!	screened	at	the	2001	new	york	film	festival	(	feature	coming	soon	)	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	something	about	a	bunch	of	kids	going	into	a	haunted	house	and	playing	out	parodies	of	other	horror	and	non	horror	movies	.	oh	yeah	,	there's	also	something	about	a	ghost	possessing	the	mansion	and	shit	,	but	trust	me	,	you	won't	care	much	about	the	"	plot	"	in	this	film	.	.	.	critique	:	parody	movies	either	work	or	they	don't	and	this	one	just	doesn't	work	!	the	laughs	aren't	as	pronounced	this	time	around	,	the	energy	level	,	the	gags	and	all	of	the	characters	just	seem	to	be	going	through	the	motions	here	.	it's	like	they	were	all	in	a	hurry	to	finish	the	film	or	something	(	wink	,	wink	)	.	and	the	scariest	part	of	it	all	?	check	out	the	number	of	screenwriters	it	took	to	pen	this	puppy	:	seven	!	i	say	again	,	it	took	seven	people	to	write	82	minutes	worth	of	fart	jokes	,	half	assed	stunts	and	spoofs	of	films	other	than	horror	.	now	i'm	not	exactly	sure	if	each	of	the	writers	wrote	their	own	parts	separately	or	just	tossed	"	funny	sketch	"	ideas	out	there	while	smoking	the	chronic	themselves	,	but	the	end	result	is	a	film	that	basically	plays	out	like	an	extended	skit	on	"	saturday	night	live	"	.	there	are	a	couple	of	funny	one	liners	,	but	mostly	just	rehashed	one	joke	scenes	,	a	lot	of	dead	silence	and	lame	gags	.	add	to	that	the	very	unoriginal	title	and	movie	poster	and	you	gotta	start	asking	yourself	if	anybody	was	even	trying	here	(	the	film's	website	isn't	even	up	yet	!	!	!	what	the	f	?	!	?	)	.	i	do	however	have	to	give	it	up	to	james	woods	,	the	man	who	opens	up	this	movie	with	the	funniest	parody	of	them	all	(	the	exorcist	take	off	miss	this	and	you've	missed	any	reason	to	see	the	flick	)	.	i	especially	liked	his	one	liner	as	he	walked	in	to	see	the	possessed	woman's	head	turning	.	very	funny	!	unfortunately	,	the	film	plummets	straight	down	after	that	,	with	dumb	parodies	of	many	teen	flicks	that	have	nothing	to	do	with	horror	such	as	save	the	last	dance	and	dude	,	where's	my	car	,	and	other	action	movies	like	charlie's	angels	and	mission	impossible	2	.	now	help	me	figure	this	one	out	,	will	you	?	isn't	this	supposed	to	be	a	parody	film	of	horror	movies	?	!	?	(	or	maybe	that's	just	the	title	of	the	film	f	ing	with	my	head	)	.	well	,	i'm	sorry	to	have	to	say	this	but	the	only	horror	in	this	film	is	its	lame	ass	script	!	the	wayans	brothers	should	have	known	better	than	to	look	towards	the	weinstein	brothers	(	money	)	instead	of	the	zucker	brothers	(	comedy	)	for	this	sequel	.	unfortunately	for	us	,	all	we're	left	with	here	is	a	skeleton	of	a	film	which	might've	been	funny	,	had	it	been	worked	over	a	few	more	times	,	tightened	up	here	and	there	,	and	been	injected	with	more	solid	laughs	.	but	as	things	stand	now	,	there	is	no	doubt	in	my	mind	that	the	obvious	greed	to	capitalize	on	the	success	of	last	year's	film	has	led	everyone	down	this	path	,	so	screw	them	for	not	trying	as	hard	(	critically	speaking	,	of	course	)	.	you	should	all	be	ashamed	of	yourselves	for	not	putting	enough	"	real	"	effort	into	this	chop	job	and	for	not	providing	your	fans	with	the	ultimate	of	your	talents	.	pooh	on	you	!	(	that's	telling	'em	,	joblo	!	sheesh	)	btw	,	i'm	allotting	one	point	alone	to	actress	kathleen	robertson	,	whose	massive	breasts	and	skanky	g	string	had	me	chompin'	at	the	bit	.	you	go	,	girl	!	everyone	else	.	.	.	stay	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	airplane	(	10	10	)	airplane	ii	(	10	10	)	galaxy	quest	(	8	10	)	hannibal	(	7	10	)	the	haunting	(	3	10	)	mafia	(	5	10	)	naked	gun	(	8	10	)	scary	movie	(	8	10	)	top	secret	(	9	10	)
neg	starring	robert	carlyle	,	johnny	lee	miller	and	liv	tyler	directed	by	jake	scott	running	time	:	1	hour	40	minutes	.	plunkett	macleane	marks	the	directing	debut	of	jake	scott	,	brother	of	ridley	and	tony	.	naturally	,	this	got	me	worried	.	would	jake's	talent	be	inherited	from	ridley	or	tony	?	if	it	was	from	ridley	,	than	the	movie	would	be	a	thoughtful	suspensor	with	action	thrown	in	.	if	it	was	from	tony	,	it	would	be	wham	bang	drivel	.	unfortunately	,	the	latter	is	true	for	this	worthless	picture	with	little	charm	.	carlyle	and	miller	are	the	titular	highwaymen	,	plunkett	(	carlyle	)	who	is	poor	and	unruly	,	and	captain	james	macleane	(	miller	)	a	clean	cut	gentleman	.	as	the	tagline	clearly	wants	to	make	known	,	they	rob	the	rich	and	nothing	else	.	the	film	basically	follows	the	rowdy	hold	ups	the	two	stage	,	along	with	romantic	interludes	with	lady	rebecca	(	tyler	.	)	hot	on	both	their	tails	is	mr	chance	(	ken	stott	)	who	wants	to	see	them	both	dead	.	plunkett	macleane	is	an	annoying	little	film	that	serves	little	purpose	.	although	undoubtedly	slick	and	fast	paced	,	there's	very	little	merit	contained	in	the	film	.	carlyle	and	miller	are	fun	enough	as	the	foul	mouthed	pair	,	although	their	characters	are	criminally	undeveloped	.	it	appears	that	much	of	the	money	has	been	spent	on	the	expensive	looking	sets	and	costumes	,	but	not	on	the	script	.	the	five	(	!	)	screenwriters	(	three	credited	)	have	produced	an	still	born	movie	:	there's	very	little	development	in	the	story	.	also	,	major	events	,	such	as	mr	.	cash	finding	out	who	plunkett	and	macleane	really	are	,	are	so	rushed	that	they	barely	happened	.	the	story	is	a	bit	of	a	mess	,	frankly	.	the	performances	aren't	bad	:	carlyle	and	miller	are	typical	lads	,	but	liv	tyler	is	a	huge	disappointment	as	the	love	interest	.	her	irritable	,	stilted	performance	sticks	out	like	a	sore	thumb	,	and	i	was	quite	unsure	on	what	accent	she	was	trying	to	put	on	.	she	looks	nice	,	though	.	more	interesting	is	alan	cummings	as	the	campy	lord	rochester	,	and	although	his	character	amounts	to	nothing	more	than	a	two	dimensional	comedy	gay	character	,	he	hams	it	up	well	.	ken	stott	is	suitably	evil	as	chance	,	but	again	he	is	nothing	but	a	flat	character	.	i	didn't	particularly	care	when	the	predictable	death	sequence	arrived	.	although	a	disappointment	in	writing	,	and	a	minor	success	in	acting	,	the	film	certainly	look	lavish	,	with	good	costumes	,	and	wonderful	sets	.	but	production	design	alone	can't	save	a	movie	,	especially	a	movie	as	bad	as	this	mess	.	jake	scott	would	be	more	suited	to	directing	a	music	video	rather	than	this	failed	update	of	a	period	drama	:	the	only	update	seems	to	be	the	fact	that	everyone	must	talk	dirty	,	with	'f	ck	this'	and	'stand	and	f	cking	deliver'	splattered	all	over	the	place	.	the	mtv	editing	and	direction	are	flash	enough	,	but	in	the	end	decidedly	empty	.	plunkett	macleane	is	a	massive	disappointment	.	although	somewhat	enjoyable	during	parts	,	it's	so	light	it	could	float	off	the	screen	if	it	wasn't	just	images	on	a	reel	.	there's	no	thought	,	no	development	,	no	plot	,	just	a	series	of	manic	edits	and	quirky	camera	angles	to	make	this	film	appeal	to	gen	xers	.	although	it's	a	great	idea	:	update	a	period	drama	to	the	mtv	generation	:	it's	execution	is	awful	,	and	would	more	likely	bore	than	excite	.	sloppy	and	occasionally	off	puttingly	tasteless	,	it's	hard	to	recommend	plunkett	macleane	as	a	movie	,	but	easy	to	recommend	it	as	a	overlong	music	video	.	give	it	a	miss	.
neg	directed	by	john	lasseter	.	voices	:	dave	foley	,	julia	louis	dreyfus	,	kevin	spacey	,	hayden	panettiere	,	madeline	kahn	,	david	hyde	pierce	,	phyllis	diller	,	brad	garrett	,	denis	leary	,	joe	ranft	,	edie	mcclurg	.	1998	94	minutes	.	rated	g	(	nothing	objectionable	)	.	reviewed	november	28	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	after	the	recent	animated	debacles	of	,	"	a	rugrats	movie	,	"	and	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	i	am	seriously	considering	raising	my	highly	negative	rating	on	dreamworks'	other	insect	film	from	october	,	"	antz	.	"	i	hated	that	movie	,	and	yet	,	it	is	so	much	better	than	these	latest	two	excursions	.	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	is	the	second	animated	insect	film	in	the	last	two	months	,	and	i	hoped	for	the	best	,	considering	it	was	done	in	the	wonderful	style	of	pixar's	last	film	,	1995's	"	toy	story	,	"	but	in	no	way	does	,	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	even	remotely	match	up	to	that	.	flik	(	david	foley	)	,	an	ant	,	who	along	with	his	many	comrades	,	has	the	job	every	year	of	gathering	up	the	seasonal	harvest	,	only	to	have	to	give	half	of	it	away	to	the	dominating	grasshoppers	,	led	by	hopper	(	kevin	spacey	)	.	flik	,	however	,	feels	all	alone	and	unwanted	in	the	world	,	especially	after	he	accidentally	loses	all	of	their	food	,	and	the	ants	are	threated	by	hopper	to	gather	up	a	whole	other	season's	load	by	the	time	the	last	summer	leaf	falls	from	the	trees	.	banished	from	ant	island	,	flik	leaves	the	colony	in	search	of	some	strong	reinforcement	to	help	out	,	but	through	a	misunderstanding	,	returns	with	a	handful	of	helpless	circus	bugs	,	including	a	walking	stick	(	david	hyde	pierce	)	,	a	dung	beetle	(	brad	garrett	)	,	a	gypsy	moth	(	madeline	kahn	)	,	a	male	ladybug	(	denis	leary	)	,	and	a	caterpillar	(	joe	ranft	)	.	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	has	one	thing	going	for	it	.	only	one	thing	.	with	its	glorious	,	bright	colors	,	the	computer	generated	animation	is	a	spectacle	to	look	at	.	the	film	itself	,	unfortunately	,	is	a	lifeless	,	unamusing	contraption	without	any	of	the	flair	or	excitement	of	,	"	toy	story	.	"	the	characters	in	,	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	are	an	assortment	of	either	unlikable	or	dull	insects	without	any	charm	or	personality	,	other	than	to	stand	around	and	recite	arbitrary	and	thoroughly	unfunny	one	liners	.	the	thin	story	was	also	stretched	out	to	a	nearly	unbearable	94	minutes	,	and	it	often	felt	as	if	they	ran	out	of	ideas	throughout	,	and	so	they	made	up	pointless	scenes	to	pass	as	time	filler	.	after	giving	such	scathing	reviews	to	the	animated	films	from	this	year	,	i	was	beginning	to	think	that	i	had	simply	outgrown	them	,	but	then	i	realized	this	is	just	not	so	.	i	still	adore	almost	all	of	the	older	disney	films	,	and	many	of	the	newer	ones	,	such	as	1989's	,	"	the	little	mermaid	,	"	1991's	,	"	beauty	and	the	beast	,	"	1993's	,	"	the	nightmare	before	christmas	,	"	and	yes	,	1995's	,	"	toy	story	.	"	maybe	this	has	just	been	a	bad	year	for	children's	films	,	and	hopefully	,	the	upcoming	,	"	the	prince	of	egypt	,	"	will	not	be	a	disappointment	.	as	for	,	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	i	did	not	enjoy	anything	about	it	.	not	the	story	,	not	the	characters	,	and	not	even	the	voiceover	work	,	which	was	far	more	lively	in	,	"	antz	.	"	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	goes	down	as	yet	another	failure	for	disney	,	and	it	is	a	sad	state	of	affairs	when	their	best	film	in	the	last	two	years	has	been	the	minor	jonathan	taylor	thomas	picture	,	"	i'll	be	home	for	christmas	.	"
neg	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	columbia	1	:	36	1998	r	(	garden	tool	gore	,	terror	,	language	,	pot	use	,	assorted	idiocies	)	cast	:	jennifer	love	hewitt	;	brandy	;	freddie	prinze	,	jr	.	;	mekhi	phifer	;	muse	watson	;	bill	cobbs	;	matthew	settle	;	jeffery	combs	;	jennifer	esposito	;	john	hawkes	director	:	danny	cannon	screenplay	:	trey	callaway	hr	movies	don't	come	much	more	ridiculously	titled	than	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	"	but	since	the	movie	in	question	is	best	described	as	ridiculous	,	the	title	sort	of	works	as	a	warning	.	more	than	a	silly	sounding	mouthful	to	blurt	out	to	the	ticket	vendor	,	this	horror	sequel's	moniker	also	contains	a	grievous	oversight	that	anyone	who	saw	the	original	will	be	able	to	spot	:	what	"	you	"	did	_	last	_	summer	"	you	"	actually	did	the	summer	_	before	_	last	summer	,	and	since	"	i	"	knew	about	it	_	this	_	summer	as	well	as	_	last	_	summer	,	it's	really	illogical	to	say	that	"	i	"	_	still	_	know	what	"	you	"	did	_	last	_	summer	.	the	filmmakers	would	have	at	least	made	sense	with	the	shorter	"	i	still	know	,	"	the	longer	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	two	summers	ago	"	or	the	appropriate	"	stupid	people	getting	hacked	to	bits	.	"	that	last	suggestion	is	the	preferable	one	since	the	characters	in	this	film	do	things	that	are	the	polar	opposite	of	smart	.	for	example	,	if	your	roommate	is	plagued	by	terrible	nightmares	as	a	result	of	being	stalked	and	nearly	murdered	not	long	ago	,	would	you	sneak	into	her	room	late	at	night	and	hide	in	the	closet	,	even	if	it	was	just	to	locate	and	borrow	a	cute	little	dress	?	probably	not	,	but	that's	precisely	what	college	student	karla	(	pop	diva	brandy	)	does	to	best	friend	julie	(	jennifer	love	hewitt	)	,	resulting	in	the	first	in	a	long	line	of	phony	frights	.	julie	,	you'll	recall	,	was	one	of	the	sole	survivors	at	the	end	of	1997's	surprise	hit	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	"	after	a	slasher	with	a	grudge	to	bear	it's	a	_	long	_	story	began	trying	to	pick	off	her	,	her	buddies	and	various	others	in	their	coastal	carolina	village	.	in	this	installment	,	the	plot	picks	up	as	karla	wins	a	trip	to	the	bahamas	,	and	julie	,	yet	racked	by	guilt	,	decides	that	maybe	a	tropical	getaway	will	help	ease	her	mind	.	yeah	,	right	.	their	island	paradise	has	room	,	of	course	,	for	one	more	in	the	form	of	the	still	alive	killer	(	muse	watson	)	from	the	first	film	.	he	sports	the	same	gorton's	fisherman	get	up	,	a	heavy	hat	and	rain	slicker	that	mask	his	identity	,	but	why	he's	still	trying	to	stay	anonymous	is	a	mystery	this	movie	never	solves	.	.	.	though	i	suppose	his	hook	hand	would	look	funny	protruding	from	the	sleeve	of	a	leisure	suit	.	in	a	sense	,	that's	the	movie's	glaring	flaw	everybody	knows	who	the	bad	guy	is	,	thus	evaporating	the	level	of	paranoid	tension	nicely	sustained	by	its	prequel	.	the	murders	and	attempted	murders	in	that	film	were	vivid	and	scary	,	but	trey	callaway's	derivative	"	i	still	know	"	screenplay	makes	the	fisherman	just	as	dumb	as	his	pretty	potential	victims	.	when	julie	lays	blissfully	unaware	in	a	tanning	bed	,	giving	him	a	perfect	chance	to	wreak	vengeance	once	and	for	all	,	what	does	he	do	?	he	twist	ties	the	lid	shut	and	cranks	up	the	uv	rays	you'd	think	he'd	want	her	gutted	now	instead	of	a	skin	cancer	victim	later	.	even	prequel	"	summer	"	lovers	might	balk	at	how	little	there	is	here	beyond	sporadically	amusing	absurdity	and	a	few	neat	o	shots	of	blood	flowing	from	toned	teenage	flesh	.	the	innovative	gallows	humor	that	scribe	(	and	"	scream	"	wunderkind	)	kevin	williamson	injected	into	"	i	know	"	's	unfolding	story	is	sorely	missed	,	replaced	with	the	grating	antics	of	a	white	rastafarian	cabana	boy	who	smokes	weed	and	tosses	off	slang	like	"	yo	"	;	you'll	cheer	not	shriek	when	he	ends	up	with	a	pair	of	hedgetrimmers	firmly	implanted	in	his	chest	.	if	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	"	however	effective	,	was	just	the	kind	of	movie	that	those	subversive	"	scream	"	flicks	poked	fun	at	,	then	the	deadly	"	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	deserves	a	full	blown	roasting	on	"	mystery	science	theatre	3000	.	"	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	after	the	screening	was	over	and	the	lights	went	up	,	i	observed	a	couple	of	my	colleagues	in	deep	and	earnest	conversation	,	trying	to	resolve	twists	in	the	plot	.	they	were	applying	more	thought	to	the	movie	than	the	makers	did	.	a	critic's	mind	is	a	terrible	thing	to	waste	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"
neg	starring	eddie	griffin	,	master	p	.	rated	r	.	what	would	inspire	someone	who	cannot	write	or	act	to	pen	and	star	in	a	movie	?	a	better	question	,	what	would	inspire	a	studio	to	produce	said	movie	?	if	you	have	an	answer	,	let	me	know	.	foolish	,	the	new	movie	written	by	and	starring	master	p	is	a	jaw	droppingly	horrible	film	,	one	with	no	redeeming	value	socially	,	cinematically	or	otherwise	.	comedically	it	has	some	potential	,	but	only	in	its	stand	up	comedy	moments	,	which	i	can	turn	on	comedy	central	for	.	master	p	stars	as	fifty	dollah'	(	beat	that	!	)	as	a	mobster	(	i	think	)	who	is	trying	to	start	a	comedy	club	act	with	his	little	brother	foolish	(	eddie	griffin	)	.	but	the	two	of	them	have	to	deal	with	an	angry	mob	boss	(	played	by	andrew	dice	clay	,	for	the	very	first	time	entertaining	)	,	a	stubborn	club	owner	and	family	problems	(	the	latter	in	foolish	is	a	perfect	example	of	roger	ebert's	"	idiot	plot	,	"	if	everyone	here	wasn't	an	idiot	,	there	would	be	no	problem	)	so	what	does	foolish	have	to	offer	beside	a	bunch	of	idiotic	character	names	?	not	a	hell	of	a	lot	.	as	i	have	mentioned	,	master	p	cannot	act	or	write	.	he	acts	like	the	rapper	that	he	is	.	the	occasional	despair	that	his	script	requires	him	to	exhibit	is	excruciatingly	forced	,	as	are	his	warm	and	fuzzy	scenes	with	his	little	bro	.	as	for	his	script	well	,	i	suppose	he	delivers	what	one	would	expect	from	a	musical	artist	with	no	previous	screenwriting	experience	.	if	you	haven't	yet	figured	it	out	,	that	is	not	saying	much	.	co	star	eddie	griffin	(	really	the	star	of	the	show	)	is	quite	a	different	story	.	the	fact	of	the	matter	is	that	griffin	,	whose	most	significant	screen	outing	to	date	is	probably	the	mildly	successful	tv	show	malcolm	and	eddie	on	the	fledgling	upn	network	,	is	an	extremely	talented	comedian	,	stand	up	and	otherwise	.	he	has	much	in	common	with	chris	tucker	(	rush	hour	,	money	talks	)	in	how	quickly	and	effortlessly	his	speech	flows	from	his	lips	.	he	spouts	profanity	with	impressive	dexterity	(	to	the	extent	which	that	can	be	done	)	,	and	while	i	hope	that	does	not	become	his	trademark	it	works	in	a	few	scenes	in	this	movie	.	and	indeed	,	i	laughed	at	a	few	stand	up	scenes	here	,	but	from	a	feature	length	movie	i	expect	more	.	foolish	provided	me	with	no	reason	to	care	for	these	characters	.	every	scene	which	has	any	potential	for	dramatic	impact	is	effectively	diffused	by	either	a	stupid	joke	(	in	a	scene	where	tension	escalates	between	the	two	brothers	,	foolish	blurts	out	towards	his	jewelry	sporting	sibling	"	you	lay	one	hand	on	me	and	this	cemetary	is	going	to	be	a	gold	rush	"	)	or	something	even	more	idiotic	such	as	foolish	smashing	his	own	car	(	to	which	i	said	,	a	bit	too	loudly	for	the	occasion	"	huh	?	"	)	after	getting	slightly	upset	with	his	wife	.	believe	me	when	i	say	that	there	is	nothing	in	foolish	that	warrants	parting	with	your	hard	earned	8	.	you'll	get	more	laughs	from	watching	30	minutes	of	comedy	central	or	any	virtually	any	sitcom	if	you	don't	have	cable	.	eddie	griffin	fans	may	enjoy	this	derivative	(	although	offensive	)	yarn	,	but	everyone	else	should	stay	the	hell	away	.	137	;	posted	via	deja	news	,	the	discussion	network	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	a	search	,	read	,	discuss	,	or	start	your	own
neg	bob	the	happy	bastard's	quickie	review	:	grumpy	old	men	,	it	ain't	.	hell	,	my	fellow	americans	,	it	ain't	.	walter	matthau	and	jack	lemmon	team	up	again	for	an	even	more	worn	out	vehicle	than	any	of	their	films	over	the	past	few	years	.	odd	couple	ii	feels	terribly	generic	,	where	in	the	first	movie	,	made	thirty	one	years	ago	,	feels	like	a	wonderful	tale	.	that's	like	repackaging	campbell's	soup	in	a	generic	food	can	,	really	.	how	writer	neil	simon	could've	made	such	a	horrible	mistake	in	screen	writing	is	beyond	me	.	throughout	the	movie	,	i	really	didn't	laugh	once	.	honestly	.	i	mean	,	there	were	dumb	situations	,	yeah	,	like	the	cropduster	who	let	these	old	geezers	have	it	without	any	notice	,	but	they	just	really	didn't	seem	funny	to	me	.	and	that	car	rolling	off	the	cliff	?	the	only	way	i	would've	seen	humor	in	that	is	if	they	were	still	in	it	.	and	the	ending	gets	all	super	mushy	,	too	.	in	the	final	twenty	minutes	or	so	,	lemmon	meets	a	girl	he	thinks	is	the	one	,	then	loses	her	;	matthau	talks	to	his	son	(	a	wasted	jonathan	silverman	)	about	his	amrriage	to	lemmon's	daughter	;	and	,	of	course	,	lemmon	and	matthau	have	another	roomie	situation	on	their	hands	.	ooh	,	i	really	gave	a	lot	away	there	,	i'm	sure	.	consider	it	a	hospitable	gester	,	you	won't	waste	your	time	renting	this	muck	.
neg	director	:	michael	lehmann	cast	:	billy	crystal	,	gheorghe	muresan	,	kathleen	quinlan	,	zane	carney	,	steven	seagal	,	joss	ackland	screenplay	:	david	seltzer	producers	:	billy	crystal	,	peter	schindler	runtime	:	1	:	37	us	distribution	:	columbia	rated	pg	:	language	,	mild	violence	,	crude	humor	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	if	there's	one	thing	i	just	can't	stand	,	it's	a	film	that	oozes	with	sentimentality	.	here's	a	note	to	all	film	makers	:	films	are	more	effective	when	the	emotions	of	the	characters	speak	for	themselves	.	swelling	,	saddening	music	is	not	a	good	way	to	tell	us	that	the	people	in	the	film	are	unhappy	,	and	that	the	situation	is	hopeless	.	alas	,	my	giant	is	a	film	that	uses	manipulative	sentimentality	so	frequently	and	with	such	high	intensity	that	i	forgot	as	i	watched	it	that	there	are	other	ways	of	getting	audience	members	choked	up	.	what	reminded	me	was	that	i	wasn't	choked	up	,	or	even	the	slightest	bit	moved	,	for	that	matter	.	my	giant	is	a	forced	,	contrived	,	and	conspicuously	un	cute	(	i	detest	the	word	"	cute	"	but	i've	chosen	to	use	it	because	the	makers	clearly	wanted	to	create	a	"	cute	"	film	here	)	.	it	takes	a	premise	that	might	have	been	interesting	(	i	liked	the	preview	)	,	and	bogs	it	down	with	endless	plot	turns	and	cliches	,	all	of	which	are	intended	to	get	some	kind	of	easy	emotional	rise	from	the	audience	.	maybe	it	will	work	for	some	people	.	it	didn't	work	for	me	.	billy	crystal	plays	sam	cayman	,	an	agent	who	,	at	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	is	in	romania	.	he's	in	romania	because	the	kid	actor	he	made	famous	is	doing	a	film	.	the	screenplay	has	him	in	romania	so	he	can	get	fired	,	get	in	a	car	accident	,	and	get	saved	by	an	enormous	individual	who	stands	almost	eight	feet	tall	.	his	name	is	max	(	gheorghe	muresan	)	,	and	sam	thinks	he'd	be	a	great	movie	star	because	of	his	size	.	subplots	are	as	follows	:	sam	has	a	son	and	a	wife	(	kathleen	quinlan	)	,	and	he's	never	around	for	them	,	so	they	move	to	chicago	.	max	is	in	love	with	a	woman	named	lilianna	who	moved	away	from	romania	twenty	years	before	the	film	begins	.	sam	convinces	max	to	go	back	to	america	with	him	so	they	can	make	lots	of	money	,	and	so	their	various	subplots	can	all	be	resolved	.	sam	is	broke	.	max	is	dying	.	pass	the	kleenex	.	my	giant	,	as	a	comedy	,	is	only	moderately	funny	.	it	has	its	moments	,	the	best	of	which	features	steven	seagal	making	fun	of	himself	.	in	one	great	scene	,	sam	gets	his	son	on	the	phone	to	talk	to	seagal	;	of	course	,	his	son	doesn't	believe	that	he's	actually	speaking	to	seagal	,	and	he	goes	off	about	how	bad	of	an	actor	he	is	(	i	would	quote	the	line	i	like	but	it	would	probably	lose	its	effect	)	.	crystal	is	always	entertaining	,	and	he	has	a	few	good	lines	here	(	some	of	which	are	subtle	throwaways	that	many	will	miss	entirely	)	;	often	,	however	,	he's	countered	by	a	slew	of	jokes	that	aren't	funny	,	and	cause	an	involuntary	rolling	of	the	eyes	.	muresan	is	kind	of	fun	to	watch	,	but	he	just	can't	act	very	well	.	quinlan	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	a	great	actress	who	needs	to	get	a	role	that	shows	off	her	talents	.	she	was	underused	last	year	in	both	event	horizon	and	breakdown	,	but	at	least	in	those	films	she	had	moments	in	which	she	could	show	us	her	stuff	.	here	,	the	best	thing	she	gets	to	do	is	fake	a	romanian	accent	.	all	of	these	disappointing	ingredients	create	a	film	that	,	for	much	of	its	running	time	,	is	simply	mediocre	.	as	my	giant	lumbers	to	its	inevitable	conclusion	,	however	,	director	michael	lehmann	(	who	did	a	great	job	directing	the	underrated	hudson	hawk	)	and	scriptwriter	david	seltzer	pile	on	every	cliche	imaginable	,	each	one	intended	specifically	to	pull	at	our	heartstrings	.	sam's	multiple	engagements	with	his	family	are	all	completely	hackneyed	(	how	about	a	main	character	who	has	a	healthy	relationship	with	his	family	?	)	.	later	,	it	turns	out	the	entire	story	is	supposed	to	be	a	great	big	metaphor	signifying	sam's	reunion	with	his	family	.	and	some	people	might	think	that	what	sam	does	for	max	towards	the	end	is	a	valiant	thing	,	but	i	had	a	few	morality	problems	with	it	(	and	i	apologize	for	being	vague	)	.	it's	icky	.	it	drips	with	gooey	,	wannabe	human	emotions	.	my	giant	could	have	been	a	straightforward	and	funny	family	film	.	more	importantly	,	it	could	have	been	moving	on	a	level	far	deeper	than	it	is	.	instead	,	it's	a	complicated	,	overlong	,	and	under	engaging	film	that	elicits	too	few	laughs	and	strives	for	superficial	tears	.	and	since	it	left	me	feeling	completely	unmoved	,	i	stand	by	my	position	that	sentimentality	is	evil	and	will	ultimately	destroy	the	world	.
neg	home	fries	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	)	for	past	reviews	,	bi	weekly	trivia	,	etc	.	,	visit	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	a	starring	drew	barrymore	,	luke	wilson	,	jake	busey	,	catherine	o'hara	screenplay	by	vince	gilligan	directed	by	dean	parisot	note	to	screenwriters	and	self	:	when	you	hit	the	big	time	,	and	the	studios	come	knocking	for	those	scripts	that	are	sitting	in	your	bottom	drawer	,	tell	em	all	to	hit	the	road	.	gilligan	wrote	the	arbitrarily	titled	home	fries	ten	years	ago	;	it	was	shelved	until	he	found	success	as	one	of	"	the	took	a	second	look	at	gilligan's	"	comedy	"	they	read	it	again	wearing	rose	tinted	glasses	.	drew	stars	as	sally	,	a	dim	(	but	sweet	)	,	pregnant	waitress	at	a	small	town	burger	joint	located	somewhere	in	the	southern	united	states	.	the	father	of	her	child	is	dead	,	the	victim	of	a	severe	heart	attack	brought	on	by	sadistic	torture	from	his	two	stepsons	these	flyboys	scared	him	with	their	low	flying	helicopter	.	dorian	(	wilson	)	and	angus	(	busey	)	were	getting	even	for	his	philandering	ways	on	behalf	of	their	anguished	mother	(	o'hara	)	.	trouble	is	,	sally	picked	up	some	interference	on	her	drive	thru	headset	,	and	angus	worries	she	may	have	heard	conversations	that	took	place	in	the	helicopter	prior	to	the	accidental	killing	.	so	dorian	goes	undercover	as	a	burger	flipper	;	before	you	can	say	"	with	cheese	"	he	falls	for	the	mother	to	be	.	too	bad	mom	and	angus	have	homicidal	plans	for	sally	.	does	this	sound	like	a	movie	you	want	to	see	?	without	a	doubt	,	the	best	thing	about	home	fries	is	barrymore	;	at	the	risk	of	sounding	sexist	,	she's	never	looked	better	than	here	,	as	a	curly	redhead	with	twinkling	eyes	.	she	is	winning	in	a	role	that	requires	her	to	do	absolutely	nothing	except	look	apple	cheek	cute	and	gawk	at	wilson	,	her	real	life	boyfriend	.	but	the	plot	and	the	situations	are	so	off	putting	that	nothing	could	save	it	.	this	movie	desperately	wants	to	get	mentioned	in	the	same	breath	as	the	coen	brothers	,	but	home	fries'	brand	of	laboured	hipness	would	be	foreign	to	geniuses	like	ethan	and	joel	.	it's	raising	arizona	without	babies	,	without	charm	,	without	laughs	,	without	human	characters	,	and	without	intelligence	;	worst	of	all	,	it's	creepy	.	what's	funny	about	threatening	to	gun	down	a	pregnant	woman	with	a	machine	gun	?	(	unless	the	woman	in	question	is	a	spice	girl	.	)	take	out	the	helicopters	,	the	quasi	incestuous	relationship	between	the	mother	and	her	sons	(	it	is	absolutely	illogical	,	within	the	movie's	framework	,	that	dorian	still	lives	with	his	mother	and	brother	)	,	and	the	scenes	of	murder	(	attempted	and	otherwise	)	,	and	what	are	you	left	with	?	the	story	of	a	single	woman	with	child	who	works	at	a	fast	food	joint	(	but	dreams	of	becoming	a	country	singer	)	.	that	could	turn	out	to	be	the	most	boring	movie	ever	made	,	but	it'd	be	better	than	home	fries	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	this	movie	is	written	by	the	man	who	is	deemed	to	be	"	one	of	the	hottest	writers	in	hollywood	"	.	he	wrote	the	groundbreaking	screenplay	for	scream	(	8	10	)	,	then	added	the	successful	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	(	7	.	5	10	)	script	to	his	mix	,	and	also	created	the	popular	tv	series	"	dawson's	creek	"	.	so	when	he	asked	to	direct	his	first	movie	,	based	on	his	first	ever	script	written	,	everyone	and	their	grandma	said	"	sure	,	go	for	it	!	"	.	uhhm	,	my	question	is	.	.	.	did	anyone	bother	reading	this	stupid	script	?	?	?	plot	:	ace	student	leigh	ann	watson	is	mistakenly	caught	with	some	cheating	papers	by	the	bitchiest	teacher	in	the	west	,	mrs	.	tingle	,	and	set	to	lose	her	scholarship	to	college	.	when	she	and	her	friends	visit	the	teacher	at	home	in	order	to	explain	their	side	of	the	story	,	they	end	up	tying	her	up	,	and	slowly	trying	to	talk	some	sense	into	the	hardheaded	woman	.	critique	:	it's	not	so	much	that	this	is	a	bad	movie	,	than	the	fact	that	it	sucks	.	this	movie	is	chock	full	of	one	dimensional	characters	,	contains	no	actual	humor	that	i	was	able	to	zone	in	on	,	zero	tension	or	thrills	,	plot	holes	the	size	of	my	big	ass	,	lame	pop	tunes	played	to	mask	nothing	going	on	in	the	movie	,	and	molly	ringwald	,	vivica	a	.	fox	and	lesley	anne	warren	tossed	away	in	throwaway	roles	.	i	was	primed	for	this	film	as	its	interesting	premise	had	me	thinking	misery	(	8	10	)	and	9	to	5	,	but	unfortunately	for	williamson	,	he	went	nowhere	with	the	bright	foundation	,	making	references	to	the	exorcist	and	dr	.	zhivago	,	which	i	doubt	many	in	his	target	market	will	appreciate	.	he	also	forgot	about	suspense	,	with	all	of	his	characters	based	on	incomprehensible	decisions	,	unbelievable	motivations	and	simply	boring	us	with	all	of	their	trite	dialogue	.	sure	,	katie	holmes	is	cute	,	and	her	co	star	,	marisa	coughlan	,	did	a	reasonably	amusing	impression	of	the	exorcist	(	worth	two	points	out	of	my	three	on	ten	)	,	but	how	can	we	forgive	the	biggest	one	dimensional	character	in	any	film	,	holmes'	rival	in	the	film	,	mrs	.	tingle's	complete	unprofessionalism	being	let	go	by	all	others	around	her	(	are	teachers	allowed	to	behave	that	way	nowadays	?	)	and	a	transparent	romance	between	holmes	and	some	long	haired	dude	,	hired	to	be	the	poor	man's	version	of	skeet	ulrich	(	who	himself	is	a	poor	man's	version	of	johnny	depp	!	)	.	all	in	all	,	this	movie	was	laughable	for	me	,	provided	me	with	no	insight	into	anything	,	demonstrated	williamson's	genuine	lack	of	directorial	skills	alongside	a	juvenile	script	,	and	provided	helen	mirren	with	a	great	role	to	chew	into	,	unfortunately	forgetting	to	give	her	character	any	believability	,	humanity	or	capacity	to	comprehend	.	no	hip	lines	,	no	cheap	thrills	,	just	a	dull	time	at	the	movie	theater	.	if	you	want	to	see	a	funny	teenage	movie	,	go	see	detroit	rock	city	(	8	10	)	,	and	thank	my	drunken	,	sorry	ass	in	the	morning	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	kevin	williamson's	father	was	a	fisherman	.	kevin	used	his	knowledge	of	fishing	hooks	and	winches	when	creating	the	killer	in	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	(	7	.	5	10	)	.	he	is	also	a	huge	fan	of	steven	spielberg	and	coincidentally	,	so	is	dawson	leery	on	tv's	"	dawson's	creek	"	,	a	show	kevin	created	.	he	was	once	an	aspiring	actor	.	in	fact	,	he	even	landed	a	bit	part	on	tv's	"	another	world	"	.	also	,	williamson	has	gone	on	record	to	say	that	an	unsupportive	english	teacher	who	once	told	him	that	he	would	never	amount	to	anything	was	the	inspiration	for	mrs	.	tingle	,	which	is	also	loosely	based	on	the	book	"	killing	mr	.	griffin	"	by	the	writer	of	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	(	7	.	5	10	)	,	lois	duncan	.	he	has	also	come	out	and	said	that	he	is	a	gay	man	.	helen	mirren	was	born	in	london	,	england	under	the	name	ilynea	lydia	mironoff	.	she	is	married	to	director	taylor	hackford	,	whose	works	include	devil's	advocate	(	8	10	)	and	an	officer	and	a	gentleman	(	8	.	5	10	)	.	this	film	was	originally	titled	killing	mrs	.	tingle	,	but	was	changed	after	the	columbine	high	school	shooting	incident	.	actress	marisa	coughlan	will	star	in	kevin	williamson	next	tv	project	called	"	wasteland	"	.	this	is	actor	barry	watson	first	full	feature	film	.	he	has	played	the	character	of	"	seth	"	on	tv's	"	malibu	shores	"	several	times	.
neg	as	scary	as	it	sounds	,	i	was	actually	looking	forward	to	seeing	the	new	david	spade	comedy	,	joe	dirt	.	my	entire	childhood	and	much	of	my	adolescence	was	spent	in	such	podunk	california	towns	such	as	exeter	,	georgetown	,	placerville	,	bakersfield	,	visalia	,	fresno	,	garden	valley	,	kelsey	,	and	cool	.	such	places	where	ripped	dokken	t	shirts	were	worn	with	pride	,	jeans	were	bathed	in	an	acid	wash	,	and	hair	cuts	were	sported	by	the	mullet	kings	of	cali	.	i	grew	up	in	fear	of	wrangler	jeans	,	bob	seger	t	shirts	,	and	chevy	camaros	.	joe	dirt	was	meant	to	be	redemption	for	my	miserable	years	at	the	hands	of	these	greasy	,	ignorant	tormentors	.	but	then	30	minutes	went	by	and	the	movie	took	a	sharp	left	into	saps	ville	,	crashing	and	burning	like	a	74	'cuda	wrapped	around	an	oak	tree	.	oh	well	.	joe	dirt	the	man	(	david	spade	)	is	a	rebel	without	a	clue	or	a	proper	barber	.	while	mopping	the	floors	at	a	local	radio	station	in	la	,	joe	is	corralled	by	a	producer	into	an	on	air	interview	with	a	howard	stern	wannabe	dj	(	dennis	miller	,	in	a	role	that	finally	solidifies	his	sell	out	status	)	,	who	ridicules	his	mullet	hair	and	his	white	trash	beard	patches	.	in	defensive	of	his	social	stature	,	joe	tells	the	tale	of	his	life	story	his	search	for	the	parents	who	abandoned	him	at	the	grand	canyon	;	his	various	jobs	as	a	'gator	wrestler	,	circus	carnie	,	walking	billboard	,	oil	rig	worker	,	janitor	at	a	grade	school	;	and	the	love	of	his	life	brandy	(	brittany	daniel	)	the	"	tokyo	rose	of	the	trailer	park	.	"	along	the	way	,	joe	dirt	has	incestuous	sex	with	an	assumed	sister	;	gets	pelted	by	hot	chili	and	hot	dogs	;	gets	beat	up	by	numerous	thugs	;	receives	mental	torment	via	kid	rock	and	his	white	trash	crew	;	shoots	fireworks	at	gasoline	filled	tubs	;	and	is	held	hostage	by	buffalo	bob	in	a	strange	silence	of	the	lambs	homage	.	it's	too	bad	that	instead	of	exploiting	the	ignorance	and	ridiculousness	of	the	white	trash	mentality	,	joe	dirt	is	portrayed	as	a	sympathetic	loser	who	proclaims	his	vitality	through	motivational	statements	like	"	keep	on	keepin'	on	"	and	"	life's	a	garden	,	dig	it	"	enough	to	make	stuart	smalley	cringe	.	the	sappy	love	story	also	carries	about	as	much	credibility	as	whitesnake's	greatest	hits	,	sucking	the	energy	out	of	the	film	.	put	simply	,	david	spade	is	not	a	romantic	lead	,	and	he	really	can't	carry	a	film	on	his	zany	attempt	to	be	a	thespian	(	see	also	lost	and	found	)	.	the	collection	of	bit	parts	given	to	such	notable	actors	as	roseanne	arquette	(	a	'gator	ranch	owner	)	,	christopher	walken	(	a	janitor	hiding	out	in	the	witness	protection	program	)	,	and	fred	ward	(	joe's	mullet	headed	bastard	of	a	father	)	are	actually	the	funniest	parts	of	the	movie	.	the	best	job	in	the	film	,	though	,	goes	to	kid	rock	,	who	clearly	didn't	need	to	stretch	beyond	his	roots	,	with	his	greasy	long	hair	and	limited	vocabulary	.	.	.	the	essence	of	trailer	trash	.	more	white	trash	movies	are	on	the	way	.	up	next	,	a	film	about	the	mr	.	show	character	"	ronnie	dobbs	"	called	run	,	ronnie	,	run	.	will	the	mullet	finally	get	its	due	?	we	shall	see	.
neg	well	,	what	are	you	going	to	expect	?	it's	a	movie	about	a	big	snake	that	eats	people	.	that's	what	i	should	have	been	thinking	when	i	viewed	this	film	,	because	maybe	then	i	would	have	enjoyed	myself	more	.	instead	,	i	ended	up	wishing	a	giant	snake	would	come	along	and	eat	me	,	too	.	anaconda	is	about	a	documentary	film	crew	sailing	down	a	south	american	river	.	led	by	anthropologists	dr	.	steven	cale	(	eric	stolz	)	and	terri	flores	(	jennifer	lopez	)	,	the	crew	is	attempting	to	locate	a	lost	tribe	of	natives	.	along	the	way	,	they	find	poacher	paul	sarone	(	jon	voight	)	,	and	become	unwillingly	embroiled	in	his	quest	to	capture	the	elusive	anaconda	.	to	simply	say	that	this	is	the	world's	largest	snake	wouldn't	be	doing	it	justice	,	since	the	anaconda	in	this	movie	is	at	least	two	feet	wide	.	if	this	isn't	a	good	reason	to	avoid	picking	up	hitchhikers	,	i	don't	know	what	is	.	at	the	beginning	of	anaconda	,	we	find	that	flores	and	cale	have	had	some	kind	of	relationship	in	the	past	,	but	that	seems	to	be	more	or	less	over	now	.	i	expected	that	fact	to	play	a	key	part	somewhere	down	the	line	,	but	it	ended	up	being	a	set	up	for	nothing	.	cale	chokes	on	a	deadly	wasp	(	don't	ask	me	how	that	happens	i	don't	know	)	and	is	put	out	of	action	,	relegated	to	being	the	person	whom	the	rest	of	the	film	crew	must	get	back	to	civilization	for	medical	help	.	this	minimally	helps	to	add	a	sense	of	urgency	for	the	plot	,	since	this	goal	now	comes	in	direct	conflict	with	sarone's	plan	to	capture	the	snake	.	however	,	this	is	negated	by	the	fact	that	cale	seems	to	get	better	by	himself	about	halfway	through	the	film	,	and	in	any	event	still	results	in	zero	payoff	from	the	relationship	angle	.	most	bad	characters	are	either	annoying	or	stupid	.	in	this	movie	,	they're	both	.	since	this	description	applies	to	all	the	characters	except	sarone	,	it's	hard	to	find	someone	to	root	for	.	you're	supposed	to	back	the	good	guys	,	but	you	really	end	up	cheering	for	sarone	because	he's	smarter	than	everyone	else	.	or	maybe	he's	just	not	as	dumb	as	everyone	else	.	at	times	,	i	almost	found	myself	rooting	for	the	snake	.	there	are	no	standout	performances	here	.	everyone	seems	to	be	reciting	lines	written	for	stock	characters	.	even	voight	appears	to	be	doing	his	best	impression	of	christopher	walken	for	some	reason	.	no	matter	,	as	in	most	monster	movies	,	the	snake	is	supposed	to	be	the	real	star	anyway	.	in	most	of	the	scenes	,	the	snake	is	computer	generated	,	and	the	effects	crew	did	a	decent	job	of	making	it	look	real	.	however	,	the	realism	is	thrown	off	by	some	pretty	unrealistic	occurrences	.	sometimes	,	for	example	,	the	snake	just	moves	too	fast	.	it	catches	a	guy	jumping	off	of	a	waterfall	,	for	crying	out	loud	.	then	there's	another	scene	where	the	snake	eats	one	of	the	characters	,	and	we	see	the	snake's	skin	drawn	so	tightly	over	its	prey	that	we	can	see	the	victim's	pained	expression	from	within	the	snake's	belly	.	absolutely	ridiculous	.	a	testimony	to	the	film's	bad	direction	is	the	inclusion	of	a	scene	early	on	the	in	the	film	,	where	we	get	to	see	just	how	dangerous	the	mighty	anaconda	is	.	in	a	scene	totally	unrelated	to	anything	else	,	we	are	witness	to	the	big	snake	winning	a	showdown	with	a	panther	.	the	anaconda	wraps	itself	around	the	powerful	feline	as	if	it	were	a	stuffed	animal	and	squeezes	it	so	hard	,	one	of	the	panther's	eyeballs	pops	out	.	eeeewwwww	.	above	and	beyond	the	sick	factor	,	however	,	this	scene	surprised	me	because	it	actually	showed	the	face	of	the	snake	before	a	quarter	of	the	movie	had	even	passed	.	in	films	like	these	,	a	sense	of	mystery	surrounding	the	monster	must	be	maintained	.	if	the	characters	are	reacting	to	something	they	fear	more	than	see	,	we	as	an	audience	must	experience	that	feeling	along	with	them	.	to	show	us	the	monster	early	on	is	to	let	us	in	on	something	the	characters	don't	know	about	,	and	therefore	allow	us	to	get	used	to	the	danger	before	the	pivotal	moment	when	man	and	beast	have	their	climactic	showdown	.	in	a	case	like	that	,	the	showdown	just	ends	up	being	a	letdown	.	when	i	saw	the	snake	for	the	first	time	,	i	decided	to	give	the	film	the	benefit	of	the	doubt	and	assume	that	the	snake	i	saw	wasn't	the	real	danger	.	this	one	was	just	a	decoy	,	and	there	was	actually	a	bigger	snake	waiting	to	make	its	appearance	just	when	everyone	thought	they	were	safe	.	no	such	luck	.	okay	,	maybe	anaconda	is	actually	a	decoy	,	and	there's	really	a	better	movie	waiting	to	make	its	debut	.
neg	the	love	letter	(	m	)	.	(	dreamworks	uip	)	director	:	peter	ho	sun	chan	stars	:	kate	capshaw	,	tom	selleck	,	tom	everett	scott	,	ellen	degeneres	,	blythe	danner	,	geraldine	mcewan	,	julianne	nicholson	,	gloria	stuart	,	alice	drummond	running	time	:	87	minutes	.	this	twee	romantic	comedy	has	been	something	of	a	labour	of	love	for	kate	capshaw	,	who	is	both	star	and	producer	.	inevitably	,	it	is	she	who	must	also	shoulder	much	of	the	blame	for	the	film's	failings	.	this	surprisingly	bland	and	ultimately	uninvolving	film	is	set	in	the	old	fashioned	and	laid	back	,	picturesque	seaside	village	of	loblolly	by	the	sea	,	and	centres	around	a	number	of	residents	whose	lives	are	changed	by	an	anonymous	love	letter	.	helen	(	capshaw	)	runs	the	town's	small	bookstore	,	which	amazingly	enough	,	survives	even	though	it	never	seems	to	do	any	business	.	one	day	she	discovers	the	titular	epistle	nestled	in	the	store's	couch	,	and	immediately	assumes	it	was	addressed	to	her	.	she	hopes	that	it	was	written	by	george	(	tom	selleck	)	,	the	town's	fireman	,	who	was	also	her	childhood	sweetheart	before	they	went	their	own	way	with	plenty	of	unresolved	differences	still	simmering	between	them	.	now	that	he	is	in	the	throes	of	a	divorce	,	she	hopes	for	a	long	overdue	reconciliation	.	but	she	is	a	little	surprised	when	she	suspects	that	it	was	possibly	written	by	johnny	(	tom	everett	scott	,	from	that	thing	you	do	!	,	etc	)	,	the	handsome	college	student	working	in	the	bookstore	for	the	summer	vacation	,	who	has	developed	a	crush	on	her	.	a	series	of	misunderstandings	and	liaisons	follows	,	as	several	other	townsfolk	are	similarly	entranced	by	the	lyrical	letter	and	its	mysterious	author	.	the	script	from	maria	maggenti	(	the	incredibly	true	adventure	of	two	girls	in	love	)	is	nicely	done	,	but	doesn't	really	provide	a	lot	of	insight	into	this	sleepy	little	town	,	with	its	hidden	secrets	,	or	its	eccentric	inhabitants	with	their	secret	passions	.	nor	does	it	satisfactorily	answer	a	number	of	questions	that	continue	to	nag	long	after	the	final	credits	.	the	ensemble	cast	try	hard	to	breathe	some	life	into	the	underdeveloped	script	,	but	to	little	avail	.	we	know	that	blythe	danner	is	gwyneth	paltrow's	mother	,	but	it	takes	some	leap	of	the	imagination	to	accept	her	as	kate	capshaw's	mother	here	.	ellen	degeneres	gets	the	bulk	of	the	one	liners	as	janet	,	the	co	manager	of	the	book	store	,	a	role	that	is	not	that	far	removed	from	the	one	she	played	in	her	television	sitcom	.	this	disappointing	but	mercifully	brief	film	marks	an	inauspicious	hollywood	debut	for	acclaimed	hong	kong	director	peter	ho	sun	chan	(	comrades	:	almost	a	love	story	,	etc	)	,	who	handles	the	material	in	an	almost	leisurely	fashion	.	unfortunately	,	the	film	lacks	any	real	sense	of	passion	,	inspiration	or	heartfelt	emotions	.	this	is	one	letter	that	should	never	have	been	opened	!
neg	my	first	press	screening	of	1998	and	already	i've	gotten	a	prime	candidate	for	my	worst	ten	of	the	year	list	.	what	an	auspicious	beginning	!	welcome	to	the	dog	days	of	winter	when	the	only	film	openings	of	merit	are	those	oscar	contenders	that	the	studios	opened	in	late	december	in	new	york	and	l	.	a	.	and	which	are	just	now	beginning	to	appear	elsewhere	.	firestorm	,	the	directorial	debut	of	dances	with	wolves's	academy	award	winning	cinematographer	dean	semler	,	is	the	first	of	the	new	year's	crop	of	movies	.	as	our	story	opens	,	the	movie	pretentiously	informs	us	that	of	the	tens	of	thousands	of	firefighters	only	400	are	"	smokejumpers	.	"	we	then	cut	to	a	plane	load	of	smoke	jumping	cowboys	and	one	cowgirl	,	where	one	of	the	gung	ho	guys	is	taking	a	romance	quiz	from	"	cosmopolitan	.	"	having	the	time	of	their	lives	,	they	then	jump	into	the	middle	of	a	burning	forest	.	when	,	even	in	the	beginning	,	the	director	can't	get	the	small	parts	right	,	you	can	sense	the	movie	is	in	trouble	.	with	the	noisy	fire	roaring	all	about	them	and	with	the	trapped	people	huddled	near	their	gasoline	filled	cars	,	smokejumper	monica	(	christianne	hirt	)	tells	them	to	get	away	from	their	soon	to	explode	vehicles	.	not	bothering	to	shout	nor	even	get	close	to	them	,	she	announces	her	warning	without	raising	her	voice	much	or	approaching	the	people	.	miraculously	,	they	manage	to	hear	her	and	move	away	.	in	a	movie	that	specializes	in	cheap	shots	,	the	camera	locates	the	proverbial	young	girl	trapped	in	a	nearby	burning	building	.	as	it	does	throughout	,	overly	dramatic	cinematographer	stephen	f	.	windon	from	the	postman	uses	extremely	fast	zooms	right	down	to	the	endangered	girl's	face	.	our	show's	two	heroes	,	the	crew's	chief	,	wynt	perkins	,	played	laconically	by	scott	glenn	,	and	his	second	in	command	,	jesse	graves	,	played	by	howie	long	in	a	weak	attempt	to	be	the	next	steven	seagal	,	enter	the	burning	house	looking	for	the	little	girl	.	in	a	panic	they	have	difficulty	in	locating	her	before	they	are	engulfed	in	flames	.	the	manipulative	script	has	her	hidden	in	her	own	dollhouse	.	this	mawkish	show	cuts	back	to	monica	,	who	has	a	life	or	death	decision	to	make	.	the	chopper	with	the	fire	retardant	chemicals	has	only	enough	to	save	one	group	.	will	it	be	the	large	group	near	the	cars	or	the	helpless	little	girl	and	monica's	two	firefighting	buddies	?	she	has	only	seconds	to	decide	who	will	be	saved	.	yes	,	she	goes	for	the	majority	,	but	,	miracle	of	miracles	,	the	other	three	come	out	alive	anyway	.	not	content	with	a	traditional	firefighting	story	,	chris	soth's	screenplay	attempts	to	jazz	it	up	by	having	william	forsythe	from	palookaville	play	a	vicious	killer	named	randy	earl	shaye	who	sets	a	forest	fire	so	that	he	can	join	the	crew	to	put	it	out	and	then	escape	.	(	"	hoods	in	the	woods	,	"	is	what	the	"	ground	pounders	"	yell	out	when	the	convicts	are	bused	in	to	help	them	fight	the	fire	.	)	along	the	way	,	shaye	picks	up	an	ornithologist	hostage	played	by	suzy	amis	,	who	turns	out	to	have	been	trained	in	warrior	ways	by	her	father	,	who	was	a	marine	drill	instructor	.	most	of	the	highly	predictable	movie	is	a	long	chase	in	which	poor	howie	long	is	given	one	ridiculous	stunt	after	another	to	look	silly	performing	.	he	flings	a	chain	saw	backwards	over	his	head	while	riding	a	speeding	motorcycle	so	that	the	saw	can	hit	the	windshield	of	the	pursuing	truck	.	arguably	the	low	point	is	when	he	escapes	from	a	locked	burning	building	by	riding	a	motorcycle	conveniently	parked	inside	.	using	a	ramp	,	he	shoots	straight	out	of	the	top	of	the	building's	attic	,	and	when	he	hits	the	ground	,	he	just	rides	off	in	a	cloud	of	dust	.	when	the	film	isn't	using	some	stock	footage	of	actual	forest	fires	,	the	simulated	ones	look	hokey	.	editor	jack	hofstra	cheapens	the	action	even	more	by	his	use	of	burning	flames	in	scene	transitions	.	the	ending	,	with	its	sick	twists	,	manages	to	be	even	worse	than	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	perhaps	the	best	that	can	be	said	for	the	picture	is	the	faint	praise	i	heard	afterwards	in	the	lobby	,	"	it's	not	as	bad	as	some	of	the	television	sitcoms	.	"	firestorm	runs	mercifully	just	1	:	29	.	it	is	rated	r	for	violence	and	language	and	would	be	acceptable	for	teenagers	.
neg	starring	gary	sinise	,	don	cheadle	,	tim	robbins	,	jerry	o'connell	,	connie	nielsen	and	kim	delaney	director	brian	de	palma	canadian	rating	pg	released	by	touchstone	pictures	03	00	it's	been	hours	since	i	returned	from	the	much	anticipated	sci	fi	opus	mission	to	mars'	,	and	i	can	still	detect	the	reek	of	moldy	cheddar	.	why	?	the	movie	is	a	shoddy	cheesefest	full	of	digital	eye	candy	,	stapled	carelessly	onto	a	flimsy	screenplay	which	somehow	manages	to	leapfrog	the	great	promise	of	a	space	opera	,	instead	shooting	for	the	angle	of	a	feel	good	science	fiction	drama	more	akin	to	2001	:	a	space	odyssey'	.	i	got	the	feeling	that	most	of	my	fellow	movie	going	patrons	were	expecting	another	armageddon'	.	but	no	,	mission	to	mars'	certainly	isn't	one	large	action	sequence	about	colossal	disaster	.	this	is	a	supposedly	thoughtful	,	family	friendly	space	flick	in	which	the	apocalyptic	excitement	takes	a	back	seat	to	visual	elegance	and	uplifting	drivel	.	you	have	been	warned	.	of	course	,	crafting	a	tightly	claustrophobic	space	drama	is	not	impossible	(	see	apollo	13'	for	an	excellent	example	)	,	but	few	directors	possess	the	skill	and	craftsmanship	to	pull	it	off	without	seriously	scarring	their	reputation	.	brian	de	palma	has	enough	directorial	expertise	and	visual	wizardry	up	his	sleeve	to	pull	it	off	.	when	he	gets	his	hands	on	an	intelligent	,	systematically	practical	script	like	the	untouchables'	or	mission	:	impossible'	,	the	director	has	the	ability	to	create	a	sound	technical	achievement	(	although	his	overly	indulgent	style	becomes	bothersome	more	than	occasionally	)	.	of	course	,	there's	also	the	inexcusable	string	of	crap	that	has	carried	his	name	(	including	snake	eyes'	and	the	notorious	bomb	the	bonfire	of	the	vanities'	)	.	.	.	.	all	of	which	makes	me	want	to	call	de	palma	the	most	talented	hack	in	hollywood	.	that	term	may	be	too	harsh	,	but	if	i	were	judging	him	solely	on	the	perpetual	waste	of	talent	that	is	mission	to	mars'	,	my	choice	of	words	would	have	been	slightly	less	lenient	.	if	i	were	gary	sinise	,	i	wouldn't	touch	de	palma	with	a	10	foot	pole	.	sinise	is	a	wonderful	,	wonderful	actor	,	but	after	appearing	in	snake	eyes'	and	this	vomit	inducing	sham	,	i'm	sure	he	wouldn't	want	to	risk	the	embarrassment	of	a	third	collaboration	.	the	academy	award	winner	plays	nasa	astronaut	jim	mcconnell	,	a	man	who	recently	lost	his	wife	(	kim	delaney	)	and	is	apparently	psychologically	unfit	for	an	upcoming	space	shuttle	mission	to	mars	(	oops	,	forgot	to	mention	the	year	2020	)	.	after	a	barbecue	get	together	for	the	astronauts	,	we	cut	to	luc	goddard	(	don	cheadle	)	and	his	team	,	who	are	already	taking	measurements	and	calculations	on	the	red	planet	.	suddenly	,	a	towering	formation	of	rocks	and	soil	probably	best	dubbed	a	sand	tornado'	appears	and	creates	a	whirlwind	of	suction	.	for	some	reason	,	the	astronauts	just	stand	there	calmly	to	admire	this	,	as	if	it	were	a	lovely	piece	of	art	.	the	team	is	killed	within	seconds	,	expect	for	luc	,	who	was	able	to	send	one	final	transmission	and	may	still	be	alive	.	immediately	,	a	second	mission	consisting	of	astronauts	mcconnell	,	husband	and	wife	woody	and	terri	blake	(	tim	robbins	and	connie	nielsen	)	and	phil	ohlmyer	(	jerry	o'connell	)	are	dispatched	to	rescue	luc	and	discover	the	mysterious	secret	of	planet	mars	.	let's	put	the	secret'	on	hold	for	now	,	and	discuss	the	trip	there	.	it	is	explained	,	whether	scientifically	accurate	or	not	(	probably	not	)	,	that	a	trip	to	mars	takes	roughly	six	months	.	i'm	not	sure	why	the	quartet	of	screenwriters	behind	m2m'	didn't	capitalize	on	this	juicy	opportunity	of	creating	tension	and	claustrophobia	.	instead	,	we	join	the	team	during	their	final	days	aboard	the	ship	.	what	happened	during	the	five	months	prior	to	this	?	did	they	just	play	cards	and	tell	dirty	jokes	?	still	,	there	are	few	nicely	tense	moments	(	maybe	the	only	in	the	movie	)	during	the	time	frame	involving	a	fuel	leak	.	depalma's	direction	is	quite	good	in	these	scenes	,	although	the	score	by	ennio	morricone	is	largely	inconsistent	(	organ	music	in	space	?	c'mon	)	.	there's	a	few	good	,	imaginative	ideas	in	the	landslide	of	cheese	,	a	sad	realization	that	causes	me	to	sigh	out	loud	.	it's	a	colossal	bummer	that	mission	to	mars'	is	poorly	assembled	and	laughably	written	,	with	a	dubious	and	supremely	silly	finale	that	will	only	satisfy	dedicated	optimists	.	as	mentioned	before	,	anyone	looking	for	some	disaster	movie	carnage	is	going	to	feel	savagely	disappointed	.	.	.	maybe	even	cheated	.	after	the	unbelievably	hokey	final	shot	(	with	the	words	the	end'	somehow	adding	insult	to	injury	)	,	a	few	audience	members	made	the	effort	to	boo	and	hiss	at	the	screen	.	others	muttered	obscenities	,	shaking	their	heads	in	disbelief	while	mumbling	jeez	,	that	sucked	.	'	okay	,	it	did	suck	.	but	you	have	to	show	the	actors	some	sympathetic	mercy	.	.	.	after	all	,	they	do	pretty	well	.	sinise	is	sincere	and	effective	in	many	of	his	scenes	,	robbins	and	nielsen	wholeheartedly	convince	as	a	loving	nasa	couple	,	and	funnyman	o'connell	well	,	he	has	a	couple	lines	are	actually	amusing	(	and	intentionally	so	)	.	the	digital	effects	accompanying	the	sand	tornado	sequence	are	quite	impressive	.	so	,	by	golly	,	where	did	this	mission'	go	wrong	?	looking	back	on	the	appalling	experience	,	i	would	say	in	practically	every	conduit	and	crevasse	it	could	have	.	while	watching	mission	to	mars'	,	my	suggestion	would	be	to	immediately	abort	,	or	better	yet	,	don't	even	strap	yourself	in	for	lift	off	.
neg	release	date	:	october	23	,	1998	starring	:	kurt	russell	,	jason	scott	lee	,	connie	nielsen	,	sean	pertwee	,	michael	chiklis	,	gary	busey	,	jason	isaacs	directed	by	:	paul	anderson	distributed	by	:	warner	brothers	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	strong	violence	,	brief	language	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	soldier	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	soldier	.	htm	a	for	those	interested	in	the	true	spirit	of	moviemaking	or	what's	left	of	it	in	mainstream	hollywood	movie	which	are	star	vehicles	are	terrible	things	.	as	a	rule	,	the	ignore	general	principles	of	cinema	because	they	are	not	made	to	advance	the	media	but	rather	to	advance	the	career	of	a	particular	actor	.	an	actor	might	be	chosen	on	the	up	and	up	,	to	give	him	exposure	;	or	he	might	be	chosen	on	the	way	down	to	hand	him	a	paycheck	.	generally	,	though	,	the	actor	doesn't	matter	,	and	soldier	,	the	latest	from	the	beleaguered	warner	brothers	,	exemplifies	this	:	the	picture	lacks	pizazz	.	the	star	for	the	vehicle	in	this	case	is	kurt	russell	,	otherwise	known	as	the	man	of	thirty	words	or	less	.	russell	plays	todd	,	a	human	trained	from	birth	in	the	ways	of	waging	war	and	becoming	emotionally	distanced	from	the	carnage	he	has	wrought	.	the	movie	lets	us	see	this	degenerate	process	,	but	by	the	time	the	real	plot	starts	,	we're	into	todd's	later	years	.	he's	about	to	be	replaced	by	a	new	breed	of	soldiers	,	ones	who	,	instead	of	being	trained	from	birth	,	are	genetically	selected	before	birth	.	the	pride	of	this	class	caine	607	(	jason	scott	lee	)	will	be	our	villain	,	and	you	know	he's	the	villain	because	he	has	a	staring	contest	with	our	hero	near	the	movie's	start	.	between	the	two	leads	,	less	than	a	full	typed	page	of	dialogue	is	spoken	,	and	it's	possible	to	imagine	a	script	which	is	ninety	percent	stage	direction	.	director	paul	anderson	,	who	helmed	last	year's	icy	thriller	,	event	horizon	,	doesn't	show	any	inventiveness	here	and	instead	is	content	to	let	the	actions	play	out	on	screen	ad	nauseam	.	todd	,	upon	being	replaced	,	is	left	to	die	on	a	garbage	planet	;	but	in	order	to	stretch	the	running	time	out	,	the	villains	return	to	the	garbage	planet	on	a	"	routine	patrol	"	and	set	the	stage	for	the	final	firefight	.	events	are	predictable	from	the	time	that	the	setups	are	made	,	and	neither	anderson	nor	scriptwriter	david	peoples	attempts	to	show	any	creativeness	here	.	the	most	annoying	plot	facet	is	the	reason	that	the	whole	of	the	movie	comes	to	be	:	todd	fails	to	show	physical	superiority	against	caine	in	fact	,	not	even	todd	and	two	of	his	companions	can	best	the	baddie	but	near	the	end	of	the	movie	he	shows	remarkable	prowess	with	automatic	weaponry	.	it's	not	as	though	todd	undergoes	any	significant	character	changes	throughout	the	plot	of	the	story	,	and	so	the	plot	has	a	very	canned	feeling	about	it	.	the	best	route	through	this	disaster	is	to	take	it	lighthearted	in	spirit	,	and	treat	it	as	a	parody	of	typical	action	fare	,	like	universal	soldier	.	a	strict	interpretation	,	however	,	reveals	an	unmistakeable	and	unforgiveable	lack	of	style	,	class	,	or	substance	;	and	by	next	year	,	a	large	percentage	of	the	people	who	have	seen	this	will	have	taped	it	off	of	network	television	.
neg	tristar	1	:	40	1998	r	(	language	,	violence	,	wasted	talent	)	cast	:	michael	keaton	;	andy	garcia	;	brian	cox	;	marcia	gay	harden	;	joseph	cross	;	erik	king	;	efrain	figueroa	director	:	barbet	schroeder	screenplay	:	david	klass	"	desperate	measures	"	is	a	generic	title	for	a	film	that's	beyond	generic	.	it's	also	a	depressing	waste	of	talent	,	with	the	solid	team	of	michael	keaton	and	andy	garcia	unthankfully	thrown	thankless	lead	roles	,	not	to	mention	once	cool	director	barbet	schroeder	sadly	continuing	his	string	of	not	cool	flicks	this	thriller	is	more	"	before	and	after	"	than	"	reversal	of	fortune	.	"	the	movie	is	a	big	disappointment	,	and	yet	it's	somewhat	easy	to	see	what	motivated	such	big	names	to	attach	themselves	to	it	the	premise	is	both	promising	and	intriguing	.	too	bad	the	execution's	all	wrong	,	though	,	because	the	set	up	of	"	desperate	measures	"	boasts	some	rather	enticing	elements	that	deserve	to	be	put	to	far	better	use	.	san	francisco	cop	frank	connor	(	garcia	)	is	a	single	parent	with	a	troubling	dilemma	his	son	matt	(	joseph	cross	)	is	stricken	with	cancer	which	only	a	bone	marrow	transplant	can	push	into	remission	.	even	worse	,	the	only	compatible	donor	is	violent	sociopath	peter	mccabe	(	michael	keaton	)	,	currently	serving	a	life	sentence	for	multiple	murders	and	other	various	crimes	against	society	.	connor	tries	his	best	to	convince	mccabe	to	go	along	with	the	surgery	;	he's	at	first	reluctant	,	but	reconsiders	after	he	realizes	he	can	plan	his	escape	at	the	hospital	.	when	he	does	make	a	run	for	it	,	connor	offers	close	pursuit	,	but	for	different	reasons	than	his	superiors	(	including	the	crusty	brian	cox	)	they	want	to	take	mccabe	down	,	while	connor	needs	to	keep	him	alive	,	or	all	hope	is	lost	for	his	little	boy	.	one	misstep	"	desperate	measures	"	makes	is	in	its	underdevelopment	of	matt's	illness	.	what's	needed	are	more	details	as	to	exactly	why	mccabe	is	the	only	bone	marrow	match	that	works	;	there	would	seem	to	be	other	possible	contenders	somewhere	in	the	country	,	and	thus	many	of	the	ways	that	connor	endangers	the	lives	of	himself	and	those	around	him	by	attempting	to	keep	mccabe	alive	are	just	a	little	too	hard	to	swallow	.	take	,	for	example	,	a	scene	where	mccabe	is	trying	to	make	a	getaway	by	climbing	over	an	elevated	passage	tunnel	connecting	two	sections	of	the	hospital	.	the	police	have	their	spotlight	and	guns	aimed	right	on	him	,	and	what	does	connor	do	?	he	shoots	the	spotlight	out	so	that	mccabe	can	continue	his	flight	.	connor	knows	very	well	what	dangerous	deeds	this	guy	is	capable	of	,	and	yet	never	seems	to	think	that	mccabe	will	eventually	get	to	and	try	to	harm	his	son	.	whatever	.	to	be	fair	,	though	,	the	lack	of	story	background	is	the	least	of	the	movie's	problems	.	first	and	foremost	is	how	cheaply	"	desperate	measures	"	trades	the	potential	of	it's	opening	scenes	for	the	routine	action	ballistics	of	its	final	hour	.	once	mccabe	escapes	,	the	film	becomes	the	fugitive	in	reverse	and	with	no	thrills	.	there	are	countless	scenes	where	the	good	guys	catch	up	to	keaton	only	to	have	him	grab	a	hostage	and	get	away	.	also	,	the	movie	is	so	intent	on	giving	you	a	hoot	inducing	,	lip	smacking	villain	(	the	ads	have	compared	peter	mccabe	to	hannibal	lechter	,	natch	)	that	it	completely	casts	garcia's	frank	connor	by	the	dullsville	wayside	;	"	desperate	measures	"	appears	to	like	its	antagonist	so	much	more	than	its	protagonist	,	and	the	movie's	head	scratcher	of	a	send	off	confirms	this	.	there	is	some	good	to	be	found	amongst	this	mess	,	particularly	in	the	acting	department	.	cast	against	type	,	michael	keaton's	understated	menace	is	highly	effective	.	although	he's	not	given	much	believable	to	work	with	,	andy	garcia	plays	off	a	taut	emotional	chord	.	joseph	cross	,	as	garicia's	ailing	son	,	is	surprisingly	unsentimental	,	and	marcia	gay	harden	lends	solid	support	as	a	doctor	who	becomes	a	major	player	in	the	unfolding	chaos	.	this	cast	does	its	best	to	camouflage	the	sorry	plot	as	it	chugs	towards	an	inevitably	happy	ending	,	but	most	is	lost	.	it	goes	without	saying	that	"	desperate	measures	"	needs	an	operation	of	its	very	own	.	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
neg	there	is	no	honour	among	thieves	.	point	well	taken	but	in	'city	of	industry'	there	is	no	honour	among	the	people	who	have	put	together	this	shallow	,	unrelenting	and	downright	boring	montage	which	has	a	promising	start	but	then	crashes	and	burns	like	a	bad	plane	wreck	.	a	group	of	low	life	thieves	(	harvey	keitel	,	stephen	dorff	,	timothy	hutton	,	wade	dominguez	)	pull	of	what	is	a	seemingly	smooth	heist	by	robbing	a	jewelry	store	and	as	they	count	up	the	loot	in	seclusion	,	one	of	them	(	dorff	)	clumsily	opens	fire	in	a	moment	of	greed	and	kills	two	others	(	hutton	and	dominguez	)	.	keitel	manages	to	escape	but	just	barely	and	all	this	occurs	in	the	first	thirty	five	minutes	of	the	film	which	begins	well	but	goes	nowhere	after	that	.	the	last	hour	is	a	slow	and	monotonous	opera	of	planned	revenge	as	keitel	goes	after	dorff	since	hutton	was	keitel's	brother	in	the	film	and	he	is	helped	by	dominguez's	widow	(	famke	janssen	)	in	a	seedy	payback	scheme	.	it's	also	about	betrayal	and	all	those	things	you've	seen	before	but	with	no	new	twist	whatsoever	.	the	climax	is	predictable	and	the	film	is	sort	of	like	having	a	bad	night's	sleep	.	you	know	,	one	of	those	nights	where	you	doze	off	and	wake	up	and	then	doze	off	again	and	wake	up	again	etc	.	,	etc	.	it's	an	uncomfortable	odyssey	into	crime	courtesy	of	director	john	irvin	(	'the	dogs	of	war'	,	'raw	deal'	,	'hamburger	hill'	)	.	were	any	of	these	any	good	?	the	type	of	visual	style	that	'city	of	industry'	strives	for	is	that	of	'film	noir'	and	the	picture	would	have	been	much	better	if	it	had	been	in	the	hands	of	such	stylish	men	as	martin	scorsese	,	quentin	tarantino	or	abel	ferrara	.	all	of	these	intense	filmmakers	have	directed	keitel	with	better	results	.	'city	of	industry'	is	a	copycat	wannabe	of	films	gone	by	and	can	easily	be	tossed	into	the	junk	pile	in	the	opinion	of	this	reviewer	.
neg	member	of	the	online	critic's	association	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	it	looks	more	and	more	like	hollywood	is	running	out	of	ideas	.	remember	a	little	space	horror	film	entitled	'event	horizon'	from	1997	?	'sphere'	has	almost	the	exact	same	plot	and	manifestation	of	visual	output	except	that	'event	horizon'	is	a	lot	scarier	and	i	actually	recommended	that	one	for	the	kind	of	film	that	it	was	because	it	was	the	first	film	in	a	long	time	that	made	me	jump	in	my	seat	at	the	movies	as	it	was	genuinely	scary	with	religiously	sublime	overtones	.	i	can't	recommend	'sphere'	.	i	get	so	angry	at	hollywood	marketing	through	coming	attractions	on	posters	,	trailers	,	newspaper	,	t	.	v	.	and	radio	ads	when	they	say	'sphere'	is	from	"	michael	crichton	,	the	author	of	'jurassic	park'	and	'the	lost	world'	"	and	immediately	people	begin	saying	,	"	wow	,	if	it's	from	that	guy	,	it	must	be	great	"	.	to	no	one's	surprise	,	in	many	cases	advertising	is	an	insult	to	the	intelligence	and	we've	all	fallen	for	it	at	one	time	or	another	.	'sphere'	is	from	director	barry	(	in	most	cases	'yawn'	)	levinson	who	has	concocted	a	flat	and	lifeless	motion	picture	disguised	as	science	fiction	but	looking	more	like	a	low	budget	episode	of	any	paranormal	television	series	with	a	cast	of	actors	far	beyond	the	realm	of	this	mess	.	dustin	hoffman	(	a	psychologist	)	,	sharon	stone	(	a	biologist	)	and	samuel	l	.	jackson	(	a	mathematician	)	along	with	two	others	are	sent	on	a	mission	to	the	bottom	of	the	pacific	ocean	to	investigate	an	alleged	alien	spacecraft	that	landed	more	than	300	years	ago	.	as	they	investigate	further	,	there	is	a	strange	transmission	coming	from	somewhere	on	the	ship	that	allows	the	crew	to	communicate	with	an	unseen	force	and	later	they	discover	a	gigantic	golden	sphere	which	reflects	everything	in	the	room	except	the	people	looking	at	it	.	members	of	the	team	get	drawn	into	it	and	they	later	draw	conclusions	that	it	has	the	power	to	inhibit	mind	control	at	will	and	visually	enhance	a	person's	sub	conscious	thoughts	.	at	one	point	jackson	is	reading	the	book	'20	,	000	leagues	under	the	sea'	and	says	to	hoffman	that	he	can	never	get	past	page	87	because	it's	"	too	scary	"	.	later	,	hoffman	finds	the	cupboards	of	the	ship	filled	with	multiple	copies	of	'20	,	000	leagues	under	the	sea'	all	with	blank	pages	after	page	87	.	the	film	is	just	downright	boring	and	never	gets	off	the	ground	with	any	substance	or	point	of	interest	worthy	of	a	plot	twist	and	the	film	feels	like	a	nightmare	you	have	trouble	describing	to	people	the	next	morning	because	it	was	so	weird	,	people	look	at	you	funny	.	there's	also	no	reason	for	it	to	be	well	over	two	hours	with	a	running	time	of	132	minutes	.	i	looked	at	my	watch	about	every	fifteen	minutes	after	the	first	half	hour	and	i	was	drawn	into	a	tedious	and	restless	odyssey	of	blandness	.	there	isn't	much	more	to	write	because	there	isn't	that	much	more	to	say	about	a	film	that	looks	so	similar	in	many	of	its	scenes	.	the	only	thing	memorable	about	'sphere'	is	telling	people	that	for	quite	a	while	,	dustin	hoffman	appeared	in	a	movie	about	every	five	years	and	now	that	he's	been	in	three	in	the	last	6	months	(	'mad	city'	,	'wag	the	dog'	,	'sphere'	)	perhaps	it	was	a	good	idea	for	him	to	remain	absent	until	a	good	project	came	along	,	one	that	he	could	really	believe	in	.	there	certainly	isn't	a	good	film	contained	in	this	block	of	celluloid	.
neg	cast	:	rob	schneider	,	arija	bareikis	,	eddie	griffin	,	william	forsythe	,	oded	fehr	,	gail	o'grady	,	richard	riehle	,	amy	poehler	,	chi	chi	larue	,	norm	macdonald	written	by	:	harris	goldberg	and	rob	schneider	directed	by	:	mike	mitchell	running	time	:	88	minutes	the	first	film	produced	by	adam	sandler's	happy	madison	production	company	(	clever	title	eh	?	)	is	essentially	a	one	joke	movie	,	much	like	the	movies	sandler	stars	in	himself	.	however	the	difference	here	is	that	this	one	joke	just	isn't	very	funny	.	rob	schneider	stars	as	the	title	character	,	a	scruffy	fish	tank	cleaner	who	ends	up	becoming	a	"	man	whore	"	to	raise	enough	money	to	replace	a	wealthy	client's	custom	made	fish	tank	,	which	deuce	destroyed	while	staying	in	his	home	.	deuce	goes	on	numerous	"	dates	"	,	and	each	woman	he	goes	out	with	has	a	"	humorous	"	quirk	about	herself	.	one	has	narcolepsy	,	one	has	tourette's	syndrome	,	one	is	a	man	.	.	.	etc	.	etc	.	my	problem	is	that	we	see	all	of	these	women	in	the	film's	trailer	,	so	why	do	i	need	to	watch	the	movie	?	seen	the	trailer	.	.	.	seen	the	film	.	only	a	quick	cameo	from	norm	macdonald	(	and	a	follow	up	joke	during	the	closing	credits	)	generates	any	chuckles	.	deuce	bigalow	:	male	gigolo	is	available	on	dvd	from	touchstone	home	video	(	a	division	of	di	ney	)	.	the	disc	includes	the	film	in	its	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	85	:	1	,	and	features	the	original	theatrical	trailer	(	as	well	as	trailers	for	mystery	alaska	,	happy	texas	,	and	outside	providence	)	,	an	extremely	brief	production	featurette	(	which	contains	footage	not	used	in	the	film	)	,	and	storyboard	to	scene	comparisons	.	yep	,	you	read	that	right	.	.	.	there	are	storyboard	comparisons	on	this	dvd	.	two	scenes	are	storyboarded	.	.	.	neither	of	which	are	particularly	exciting	.	there	are	fight	scenes	in	this	movie	,	so	why	aren't	we	seeing	storyboards	of	those	segments	(	especially	the	parody	moments	from	the	matrix	)	?	i	wonder	what's	funnier	:	the	fact	that	any	moment	in	this	film	required	storyboards	or	that	di	ney	thought	fans	of	this	film	would	want	to	see	them	?	deleted	scenes	?	sure	.	audio	commentary	?	you	betcha	.	but	storyboards	?	come	on	.	r	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	a	combination	of	coincidence	and	trend	has	just	brought	us	at	least	three	new	american	movies	either	directed	by	women	and	or	with	a	nearly	all	female	cast	:	diane	keaton's	unstrung	heroes	,	david	anspaugh's	(	hoosiers	)	moonlight	and	valentino	,	and	,	by	australian	jocelyn	moorhouse	(	proof	)	,	how	to	make	an	american	quilt	.	in	moonlight	and	valentino	a	bunch	of	relatives	and	or	friends	are	trying	to	support	college	poetry	teacher	elizabeth	perkins	after	her	(	also	academic	)	husband	is	killed	in	a	yuppie	accident	:	a	car	hits	him	as	he	jogs	.	moonlight	and	valentino	is	a	would	be	tearjerker	.	the	problem	is	that	the	tears	are	on	the	screen	and	not	in	the	audience	,	unless	you	count	tears	caused	by	boredom	.	the	script	,	from	a	play	by	neil	simon's	daughter	,	suffers	from	uninteresting	everything	:	characters	,	acts	,	facts	and	dialogue	.	a	lot	of	useless	yakety	yak	here	makes	the	sluggish	pace	even	slower	.	the	talk	is	of	time	killing	trivia	.	the	death	in	the	family	treatment	is	far	inferior	to	that	in	unstrung	heroes	.	the	roles	are	dull	and	artificially	constructed	much	less	attention	getting	than	those	in	how	to	make	an	american	quilt	.	the	consolers	are	themselves	in	need	of	drastic	straightening	out	too	.	the	ladies	bond	,	de	bond	,	re	bond	.	a	hefty	whoopi	goldberg	,	a	pottery	maker	,	is	unstable	,	with	pathological	fears	about	her	husband	leaving	her	.	gwyneth	paltrow	,	still	mixed	up	from	the	long	ago	death	of	her	mother	,	spots	a	kooky	,	perpetually	hat	wearing	student	of	her	sister	perkins	.	the	movie	telegraphs	with	hammer	blows	that	a	new	twosome	is	in	the	making	.	and	as	paltrow	has	troubles	with	her	virginity	,	she	first	shows	her	body	to	big	sis	who	decrees	"	you're	a	knockout	.	you	should	never	wear	clothes	.	"	then	she	asks	sis	for	advice	on	how	to	moan	during	sex	.	perkins	obliges	.	(	i	am	not	making	any	of	this	up	)	.	and	to	think	that	they	now	blame	the	internet	.	kathleen	turner	whose	best	role	by	far	was	in	serial	mom	is	photographed	in	terribly	unflattering	ways	,	with	the	focus	on	her	oddly	soft	nose	,	while	she	has	an	un	dimensional	,	vague	part	as	a	self	centered	,	hard	nosed	business	exec	.	it	takes	29	minutes	into	the	film	(	during	which	time	you	waste	your	energy	deciphering	matters	)	to	establish	relationships	or	unscramble	who's	who	and	what's	what	.	even	then	things	are	not	always	clear	.	the	neighborhood	seems	to	be	bucolic	suburbia	with	too	many	pretty	landscape	shots	of	the	"	on	golden	pond	"	school	.	for	some	reason	,	sentimental	family	gatherings	in	movies	are	located	in	the	east	of	the	united	states	,	unlike	the	enormous	majority	of	other	subjects	that	all	take	place	in	california	.	(	ph	.	d	.	thesis	,	anyone	?	)	perkins	teaches	a	three	minute	class	(	sic	)	.	she	also	injects	francois	truffaut	in	her	lectures	,	for	no	discernible	reason	.	distraught	perkins	(	the	very	actress	who	was	recently	quoted	as	deriding	demi	moore's	nudity	in	movies	)	takes	a	bath	.	the	mixing	of	pathos	and	nipples	is	counterproductive	,	distracting	indeed	,	as	it	is	known	from	statistics	that	94	.	67	percent	of	men	are	voyeurs	to	some	degree	.	turner	turns	out	to	be	the	former	stepmother	of	perkins	and	paltrow	,	whose	father	,	at	the	funeral	reception	,	is	coyly	told	by	his	ex	that	she	needs	a	hug	and	kisses	.	he	replies	"	here's	my	kiss	,	and	you	fax	me	your	hug	.	"	that's	the	movie's	best	line	.	except	for	paltrow's	new	boyfriend	,	the	main	male	presence	is	bon	jovi's	.	he	is	a	house	painter	,	an	italian	who	speaks	no	english	,	and	whose	buns	inflame	the	women's	libido	.	they	discuss	them	openly	,	until	the	man	turns	out	to	be	a	real	yankee	.	(	score	one	for	sitcom	humor	)	.	his	name	is	wrongly	believed	to	be	valentino	,	hence	the	awkward	title	.	the	other	part	of	the	title	comes	from	bon	jovi	showing	up	at	night	to	paint	the	perkins	home	.	why	night	?	he's	a	romantic	,	which	leads	of	course	to	intercourse	that	speeds	up	perkins'	healing	process	.	(	he	also	relaxes	perkins	by	teaching	her	how	to	eat	pizza	with	her	fingers	)	.	how	exciting	.	there	is	a	mystery	however	:	is	why	change	the	house	color	from	a	perfectly	nice	gray	to	the	color	of	regurgitation	?	the	bottom	line	in	this	film	is	that	everyone	,	but	everyone	,	is	uninteresting	.	not	only	is	everyone	unconvincing	,	but	everything	stultifies	us	with	boredom	,	down	to	the	heavy	,	lachrymose	musical	score	.	capping	all	this	,	the	"	good	bye	to	ben	"	(	perkins'	defunct	spouse	)	finale	has	all	the	women	,	with	painted	faces	,	coming	to	terms	with	the	past	by	doing	a	kind	of	witchcrafty	ritual	at	night	,	in	the	cemetery	,	with	loud	music	and	song	plus	up	and	down	dancing	.	then	a	magic	rain	falls	.	ugh	!
neg	cast	:	adam	beach	,	jurgen	prochnow	,	rose	mcgowan	,	callum	keith	rennie	,	winston	rekert	,	p	.	lynn	johnson	,	william	s	.	taylor	,	amy	adamson	,	damon	johnson	written	by	:	bart	sumner	directed	by	:	mark	malone	running	time	:	94	minutes	silly	performances	and	some	huge	gaps	in	logic	mar	an	otherwise	interesting	tale	of	an	eclectic	group	of	people	stranded	at	"	the	last	stop	cafe	and	motel	"	due	to	heavy	snowfall	.	one	of	the	stranded	is	a	colorado	state	highway	patrolman	(	adam	beach	)	who	discovers	a	murder	scene	and	a	bag	full	of	cash	from	a	recent	bank	robbery	.	someone	amongst	the	group	of	strangers	is	a	bank	robber	and	a	murderer	,	but	is	it	the	same	person	or	are	there	multiple	criminals	?	adam	beach	unfortunately	was	the	wrong	choice	for	the	lead	in	this	film	.	he	doesn't	play	the	role	with	enough	seriousness	to	be	believable	or	enough	goofiness	for	it	to	be	funny	.	his	performance	is	stuck	somewhere	in	the	middle	,	and	this	film	really	needed	it	to	be	on	one	side	or	the	other	.	rose	mcgowan	is	cold	and	unpleasant	to	the	eye	as	always	,	and	jurgen	prochnow	.	.	.	what	on	earth	is	he	doing	in	this	?	best	performance	comes	from	william	s	.	taylor	as	a	cheesy	(	yet	still	somehow	cool	and	confident	)	wayne	newton	drifter	type	.	the	last	stop	is	available	on	dvd	from	sterling	home	entertainment	.	as	usual	with	sterling	,	they've	filled	out	this	dvd	with	extra	features	.	the	disc	contains	the	film	in	its	original	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	85	:	1	,	a	choice	of	2	.	0	dolby	surround	sound	or	5	.	1	dolby	digital	surround	sound	,	a	full	length	audio	commentary	track	with	director	mark	malone	,	interviews	with	the	cast	and	crew	,	the	original	trailer	,	and	the	usual	cast	and	crew	biographies	.	the	film	itself	might	not	be	the	greatest	,	but	sterling's	effort	of	adding	decent	extra	features	while	keeping	the	price	affordable	(	suggested	retail	of	19	.	95	)	makes	this	dvd	worth	the	money	.	r	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	director	:	harold	becker	screenwriter	:	lawrence	konner	and	mark	rosenthal	(	based	on	the	novel	"	simple	simon	"	by	ryne	douglas	pearson	)	stars	:	bruce	willis	(	art	jeffries	)	,	alec	baldwin	(	nicholas	kudrow	)	,	miko	hughes	(	simon	lynch	)	,	chi	mcbride	(	bizzi	jordan	)	,	kim	dickens	(	stacey	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	.	review	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	.	"	mercury	rising	"	has	numerous	flaws	,	but	there	is	one	that	really	stands	out	:	its	central	plot	device	is	unnecessary	.	that's	right	.	the	major	aspect	of	the	film	,	that	which	is	supposed	to	make	it	different	from	other	routine	government	conspiracy	action	flicks	could	be	dropped	from	the	beginning	,	and	the	movie	would	turn	out	exactly	the	same	,	if	not	better	.	this	central	device	is	the	fact	that	a	nine	year	old	boy	is	autistic	.	his	name	is	simon	,	and	an	evil	government	bureaucrat	named	nicholas	kudrow	(	alec	baldwin	)	wants	him	dead	because	he	unknowingly	cracked	a	supersecret	government	code	slipped	into	the	back	of	a	puzzle	magazine	by	its	programmers	just	to	see	if	someone	could	beat	it	.	simon	is	intended	to	be	the	heart	and	soul	of	the	film	,	and	we	are	supposed	to	feel	for	him	because	he	is	a	poor	handicapped	child	thrown	into	a	violent	,	unfair	world	against	his	will	,	with	only	a	renegade	fbi	agent	played	by	bruce	willis	to	protect	him	.	the	fact	that	he	is	autistic	does	nothing	for	the	emotional	intensity	or	the	plot	necessities	of	"	mercury	rising	.	"	i	suppose	the	original	novel	upon	which	the	movie	was	based	did	much	more	with	this	aspect	of	simon's	character	and	his	relationship	with	willis	,	but	here	it	is	lost	.	miko	hughes	,	the	young	actor	who	plays	simon	,	goes	through	the	prescribed	motions	of	being	autistic	:	he	walks	slowly	,	drawls	his	words	,	kicks	and	screams	when	he's	touched	,	and	has	a	hard	time	looking	at	other	people	.	it's	a	difficult	role	for	an	adult	,	much	less	a	young	child	,	to	play	,	and	unfortunately	hughes	never	convinces	us	that	he	isn't	playing	like	he's	autistic	.	unlike	dustin	hoffman's	performance	in	"	rain	man	"	or	leonardo	dicaprio's	in	"	what's	eating	gilbert	grape	,	"	we	are	always	painfully	aware	that	hughes	is	i	acting	i	.	however	,	unlike	"	rain	man	"	which	used	its	character's	autism	in	unique	and	interesting	ways	to	build	a	credible	and	touching	story	,	"	mercury	rising	"	could	go	right	about	its	generic	,	predictable	plot	with	simon	being	simply	a	really	smart	but	really	shy	kid	.	hell	,	he	doesn't	even	have	to	be	shy	.	in	fact	,	the	movie	might	have	been	more	interesting	if	he	had	had	a	more	active	role	,	rather	than	just	being	carted	around	under	willis'	arm	.	willis'	character	,	art	jeffries	,	is	a	disillusioned	fbi	agent	who	has	been	removed	from	undercover	work	and	is	now	doing	menial	tasks	like	listening	to	wiretaps	with	rookies	who	are	happy	to	be	doing	anything	.	he	becomes	involved	with	simon	when	he	is	called	to	check	out	a	murder	scene	at	simon's	house	,	where	his	father	has	apparently	shot	his	mother	in	the	back	and	then	committed	suicide	.	of	course	,	we	know	that	isn't	the	way	it	happened	happen	because	we	saw	an	evil	,	square	jawed	government	hitman	with	a	mean	looking	crew	cut	knock	off	the	parents	.	simon	was	able	to	get	away	,	and	jeffries	finds	him	hiding	in	a	secret	compartment	in	a	closet	,	which	the	rest	of	the	chicago	police	department	had	overlooked	.	jeffries	who	is	accused	by	several	characters	at	different	times	of	being	paranoid	although	his	actions	never	suggest	it	knows	there	is	something	more	,	and	he	makes	it	his	personal	mission	to	go	against	everything	and	everyone	in	order	to	protect	simon	.	this	is	quite	a	task	because	that	same	hitman	who	knocked	off	simon's	parents	is	crawling	everywhere	,	attempting	to	kill	simon	at	the	hospital	,	on	the	highway	,	and	every	other	place	he	goes	.	late	in	the	movie	,	jeffries	is	forced	to	enlist	the	aid	of	a	pretty	young	woman	named	stacey	(	kim	dickens	)	who	he	meets	at	a	coffee	shop	.	of	all	the	hard	to	believe	aspects	of	the	movie	,	this	is	the	worst	.	i	can	believe	in	the	decency	of	the	human	heart	,	but	stacey's	character	is	far	too	accommodating	.	not	only	does	she	agree	to	watch	simon	while	jeffries	runs	off	to	solve	the	mystery	,	she	lets	him	into	her	apartment	at	two	o'clock	in	the	morning	when	she	knows	the	police	is	after	him	,	and	then	lets	him	leave	simon	in	her	apartment	which	means	that	she	has	to	forgo	a	business	trip	that	is	desperately	needed	to	pay	the	rent	.	the	grinding	squeals	of	the	rusty	plot	machine	are	almost	overbearing	at	this	point	.	the	movie	might	have	been	redeemed	by	some	good	action	sequences	,	but	even	here	"	mercury	rising	"	doesn't	rise	to	the	challenge	.	the	movie	was	directed	by	harold	becker	,	who	has	made	some	good	suspense	films	including	"	sea	of	love	"	(	1989	)	and	"	malice	"	(	1993	)	,	but	his	talent	is	nowhere	to	be	found	in	this	latest	excursion	.	there	is	one	fight	on	a	streetcar	between	jeffries	and	another	hitman	(	played	by	peter	stormare	)	that	is	so	ineptly	directed	,	shot	and	edited	,	that	i	had	no	idea	1	)	exactly	where	they	were	on	the	streetcar	,	2	)	who	was	hitting	who	,	and	3	)	where	this	hitman	came	from	and	how	he	knew	where	jeffries	and	simon	were	.	the	grand	finale	takes	place	on	the	roof	of	a	tall	building	,	and	features	a	harrowing	(	yawn	)	scene	where	simon	walks	along	the	very	edge	of	the	building	,	not	because	he	has	to	,	but	because	it's	more	suspenseful	that	way	.	taken	as	a	whole	,	"	mercury	rising	"	is	an	tepid	,	confused	movie	that	lacks	style	,	wit	,	and	any	traces	of	a	sense	of	humor	.	usually	willis	brings	his	personal	brand	of	understated	humor	to	his	roles	,	but	here	he	is	too	straight	and	serious	.	this	is	because	the	movie	wants	to	be	an	action	flick	and	a	heartfelt	drama	at	the	same	time	,	but	it	ends	up	failing	on	both	fronts	.	maybe	the	book	was	better	,	but	the	way	it's	handled	here	is	a	perfect	case	study	in	formula	filmmaking	guaranteed	to	bore	.
neg	director	:	brian	depalma	writer	:	david	koepp	(	story	by	brian	depalma	and	david	koepp	)	starring	:	nicolas	cage	,	gary	sinise	,	carla	gugino	,	stan	shaw	,	kevin	dunn	,	john	heard	,	joel	fabiani	,	chip	zien	,	david	higgins	,	luis	guzmn	"	snake	eyes	"	is	the	most	aggravating	kind	of	movie	:	the	kind	that	shows	so	much	potential	then	becomes	unbelievably	disappointing	.	it's	not	just	because	this	is	a	brian	depalma	film	,	and	since	he's	a	great	director	and	one	who's	films	are	always	greeted	with	at	least	some	fanfare	.	and	it's	not	even	because	this	was	a	film	starring	nicolas	cage	and	since	he	gives	a	brauvara	performance	,	this	film	is	hardly	worth	his	talents	.	it's	worse	than	that	.	it's	aggravating	for	the	sole	reason	that	its	story	could	be	so	much	more	,	could	be	totally	intelligent	,	and	it	opens	up	with	absolutely	no	subtlety	that	it	will	be	handled	complexly	and	intensely	.	.	.	then	at	one	point	in	the	movie	makes	on	wrong	turn	that	leads	it	to	the	hall	of	fame	of	half	assedness	.	or	more	deservedly	,	the	hall	of	fame	of	the	eighth	assedness	.	in	certain	circles	,	"	snake	eyes	"	was	being	advertised	as	a	kind	of	modern	day	version	of	kurosawa's	classic	"	rashomon	,	"	where	a	crime	is	told	from	the	four	different	(	and	i	mean	different	)	perspectives	,	and	it	looks	as	though	it	may	actually	be	just	like	this	with	the	opening	,	which	,	i	might	add	,	is	superb	.	in	one	very	very	very	long	steadicam	shot	,	we	meet	the	protagonist	,	crooked	atlantic	city	detective	,	rick	santoro	(	cage	)	,	and	follow	him	before	a	boxing	match	as	he	talks	on	his	cell	phone	with	his	wife	,	interupts	a	pay	per	view	event	on	tv	,	chases	down	a	gambler	,	enters	the	arena	all	pumped	up	for	the	fight	,	sits	down	and	talks	with	his	bud	,	kevin	dunne	(	gary	sinise	,	who's	character	should	not	be	confused	with	that	of	actor	kevin	dunn	,	who's	also	in	this	)	,	and	watches	as	it	happens	.	there's	a	big	name	in	the	crowd	,	and	that's	the	secretary	of	defense	,	charles	kirkland	(	joel	fabiani	)	,	who's	sitting	behind	rick	,	and	who	gets	shot	a	second	after	the	heavyweight	champion	,	lincoln	tyler	(	stan	shaw	)	,	is	knocked	out	.	this	all	happens	in	the	opening	shot	,	and	it	creates	so	many	red	herrings	and	possibilities	of	what	happened	that	it	opens	this	scene	up	for	close	examination	and	total	deconstruction	.	what	really	happened	,	this	film	asks	,	and	it	sets	this	film	up	extremely	well	for	when	rick	begins	to	question	people	and	get	different	perspectives	on	the	scene	.	.	.	and	discovers	there's	a	very	good	possibility	it	was	a	conspiracy	.	as	we	follow	rick	trying	to	learn	of	more	information	,	we	also	meet	a	woman	who	was	talking	to	kirkland	before	he	was	shot	(	carla	gugino	)	,	and	who	flees	the	scene	in	a	panic	,	and	tries	to	hide	from	the	cops	in	the	arena	and	the	adjacent	casino	hotel	since	the	cops	have	blocked	off	the	doors	so	they	can	get	witness'	takes	on	what	happened	.	this	is	all	going	pretty	fine	and	dandy	,	and	it's	extremely	interesting	to	watch	.	.	.	then	it	takes	one	wrong	step	.	we	follow	the	wrong	character	,	and	we	learn	of	the	answer	to	the	mystery	too	early	on	,	and	way	before	rick	can	find	it	out	.	but	that's	not	the	worst	part	of	it	:	it's	that	it's	the	one	person	you	didn't	think	it	would	be	because	he	was	too	obviously	supposed	to	be	the	red	herring	,	the	one	you	didn't	think	did	it	because	it	would	be	stupid	and	cliched	of	that	person	to	be	behind	it	.	it	only	gets	worse	:	the	film	turns	into	a	chase	film	about	half	way	through	the	film	,	and	since	we	already	know	what	happened	,	we	can't	rely	on	rick's	investigation	to	be	all	that	interesting	.	it's	as	if	the	film	ran	out	of	the	guts	to	be	really	complex	and	original	about	a	third	of	the	way	in	,	and	decided	to	just	fall	back	on	an	easy	way	out	,	and	that	just	happens	to	mean	that	it	has	to	become	less	and	less	credible	.	events	become	more	and	more	proposterous	,	and	by	the	end	,	the	film	has	decided	to	rely	on	the	worst	offender	in	mysteries	like	this	:	the	deux	ex	machina	.	that's	where	some	outside	intereference	brings	the	film	to	a	sudden	conclusion	and	makes	everything	okay	.	this	time	,	it's	a	hurricane	,	an	out	of	control	police	car	,	and	a	big	round	ball	that	adorned	the	arena	.	what	went	wrong	?	depalma	and	the	screenwriter	,	david	koepp	,	are	extremely	credible	people	in	their	respective	fields	,	and	have	been	known	for	bringing	life	and	complexity	to	mysteries	such	as	this	.	depalma	,	who	idolizes	hitchcock	to	death	,	has	done	many	a	film	like	this	,	such	as	his	masterpiece	,	"	blow	out	,	"	where	a	movie	soundman	uses	movie	elements	to	uncover	a	conspiracy	piece	by	piece	.	but	granted	,	depalma	at	least	makes	it	intriguing	to	watch	,	what	with	his	over	the	top	shot	set	ups	,	notably	the	beginning	and	a	sequence	where	the	camera	pans	over	top	of	a	bunch	of	rooms	in	the	hotel	,	forgetting	anything	about	boundaries	.	at	least	his	direction	makes	up	partly	for	it	.	then	there's	koepp	,	who	showed	such	great	ability	at	making	a	character's	flaws	come	to	life	like	he	did	in	depalma's	earlier	"	carlito's	way	,	"	a	film	that	dove	right	into	the	life	and	past	of	its	character	and	examined	him	extremely	well	.	he	can	write	a	flawed	character	,	but	his	rick	santoro	seems	to	be	just	a	half	assed	effort	.	he's	flawed	,	and	we	can	see	redemption	if	the	story	wasn't	so	formulaic	.	a	scene	towards	the	end	where	he	has	to	make	a	fatal	decision	is	cheapened	by	the	fact	that	his	answer	has	no	emotional	buildup	.	he	may	as	well	have	said	the	opposite	of	what	he	says	;	it	would	have	at	least	gone	with	what	the	character	was	like	.	this	is	the	most	disappointing	kind	of	film	because	it	promises	intelligence	and	complexity	,	because	it	promises	disection	of	a	flawed	character	and	perhaps	even	redemption	,	then	pulls	the	rug	from	under	us	just	as	we	were	about	to	be	convinced	it	would	be	able	to	go	all	the	way	.	as	i	was	watching	the	first	half	hour	,	i	couldn't	wait	to	see	how	the	mystery	would	be	unearthed	,	how	many	different	perspectives	he'd	be	given	,	and	perhaps	he'd	have	to	make	a	choice	between	who's	he	has	to	believe	.	now	there's	a	film	.	unfortunately	,	the	film	has	two	major	deux	ex	machinas	:	one	in	the	disasterous	ending	;	the	other	,	about	a	half	hour	in	when	the	film	goes	into	autopilot	and	becomes	a	stale	and	recycled	piece	of	crap	we've	seen	all	too	much	before	,	but	never	from	someone	like	depalma	.
neg	directed	and	co	produced	by	jodie	foster	.	written	by	w	.	d	.	richter	.	cast	:	holly	hunter	,	robert	downey	,	jr	.	,	anne	bancroft	,	dylan	mcdermott	,	charles	durning	,	geraldine	chaplin	,	steve	guttenberg	,	claire	danes	,	cynthia	stevenson	.	distributed	by	paramount	and	polygram	.	the	title	"	home	for	the	holidays	"	suggests	either	a	feel	good	story	,	a	family	drama	or	a	comedy	,	but	guesses	can	be	wrong	.	there	was	a	made	for	tv	movie	with	that	title	in	1972	which	turned	out	to	be	a	christmastime	thriller	.	now	,	the	current	film's	distributors	have	announced	it	as	a	comedy	,	but	this	description	will	do	only	if	you	stretch	it	.	claudia	(	holly	hunter	)	just	lost	her	job	as	an	art	restorer	at	a	museum	.	(	you	wait	a	long	time	to	find	out	that	the	museum	is	in	chicago	.	)	with	some	trepidation	,	claudia	leaves	behind	her	sixteen	year	old	daughter	(	we	later	learn	in	passing	that	hunter	is	unmarried	)	and	flies	to	another	state	to	spend	thanksgiving	with	her	parents	.	(	you	wait	a	long	time	to	find	out	that	it	is	maryland	.	if	your	eyes	are	peeled	,	you	might	catch	the	sign	"	maryland	lottery	.	"	)	the	opening	sequence	tries	for	screwball	comedy	style	,	but	it	is	only	slightly	weird	and	far	from	hilarious	.	soon	the	film	goes	into	fast	decline	,	in	a	structure	that	is	a	succession	of	sections	,	each	with	its	title	.	"	flying	"	is	followed	by	"	mom	and	dad	.	"	mom	is	anne	bancroft	,	nee	anna	maria	luisa	italiano	,	one	of	the	very	few	catholics	who	can	do	a	jewish	mother	turn	,	which	she	sort	of	does	here	.	perhaps	husband	mel	brooks	is	of	help	.	dad	(	charles	durning	)	is	a	retired	something	or	other	employee	of	an	airline	or	of	the	baltimore	airport	.	(	this	is	made	clear	only	at	the	end	.	)	he	is	a	kind	of	putterer	now	.	pa	and	ma	are	eccentrics	,	sort	of	,	but	uninteresting	as	individuals	and	as	a	couple	.	if	you	remember	bancroft	as	the	famously	seductive	mrs	.	robinson	in	1967	the	graduate	,	you	can	now	see	her	in	bra	and	slip	.	she	may	be	showing	us	how	well	kept	she	is	at	64	,	but	her	talent	does	not	show	in	home	for	the	holidays	.	the	next	chapter	,	"	company	,	"	centers	mostly	around	claudia's	brother	tommy	(	robert	downey	,	jr	.	)	.	tommy	is	gay	,	but	you	can't	tell	.	you	learn	it	only	when	you	hear	that	"	he	has	broken	with	jack	.	"	on	the	other	hand	,	tommy	is	relentlessly	gay	in	the	old	sense	,	ebullient	,	bouncy	and	far	,	far	too	cute	.	you	feel	right	away	that	downey	is	uncomfortable	in	,	and	unconvinced	by	his	role	.	he	arrives	from	boston	with	leo	fish	(	dylan	mcdermott	)	whom	everybody	takes	for	a	new	lover	.	each	section	has	claudia	in	it	but	is	normally	focused	on	one	or	two	additional	characters	.	in	"	relatives	"	we	meet	mom's	unmarried	sister	,	retired	schoolteacher	geraldine	chaplin	.	she	too	is	an	eccentric	,	unconvincing	and	unconvinced	.	her	closeups	are	cruel	.	someone	flatulates	.	there's	an	in	joke	:	a	furnace	repairman	works	for	"	the	big	heat	"	company	,	a	reference	to	a	classic	film	noir	.	in	"	more	relatives	,	"	we	meet	claudia's	younger	sister	joanna	,	her	sententious	husband	walter	(	steve	guttenberg	)	and	their	two	kids	.	the	house	becomes	a	zoo	of	agitation	and	hyperactivity	,	forced	and	seldom	funny	.	only	the	cat	is	normal	.	next	,	"	the	dinner	"	reveals	that	tommy	had	married	jack	some	time	ago	.	joanna	calls	tommy	a	freak	.	he	keeps	his	good	mood	but	overacts	again	.	by	accident	,	joanna	gets	a	plateful	spilled	on	her	dress	.	it	turns	out	that	leo	fish	is	heterosexual	.	geraldine	chaplin	passionately	kisses	dad	on	the	mouth	.	watching	the	slicing	of	the	turkey	,	it	dawned	on	me	that	this	film	was	trying	to	be	a	slice	of	life	.	but	it	is	also	a	turkey	that	jodie	foster	directed	her	second	effort	,	after	little	man	tate	.	just	as	responsible	is	the	uneven	writer	w	.	d	.	richter	,	whose	biggest	hit	was	the	dubious	buckaroo	banzai	.	his	best	works	were	slither	,	nickelodeon	,	and	the	excellent	remake	of	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	.	the	stephen	king	story	he	scripted	before	home	for	the	holidays	was	the	disastrous	needful	things	.	in	"	cleanup	"	claudia's	daughter	calls	,	tells	mom	that	she	is	disgusted	with	her	boyfriend	and	is	still	a	virgin	.	tommy	and	walter	have	a	fight	.	jack	telephones	tommy	.	tommy	is	happy	.	the	marriage	is	on	again	.	the	movie	turns	"	sensitive	.	"	"	now	what	?	"	follows	.	here	,	this	mish	mashy	,	misguided	,	mis	written	film	predictably	brings	together	leo	fish	and	claudia	.	earlier	,	leo	was	passable	as	a	quiet	observer	.	now	that	he	emotes	,	he	is	artificial	.	the	couple	have	a	too	cute	impromptu	date	and	kiss	.	taking	leftovers	to	joanna's	house	,	the	sisters	have	a	heart	to	heart	talk	.	says	claudia	:	"	we	don't	have	to	like	each	other	.	we're	a	family	.	"	this	,	i	guess	,	is	the	moral	of	the	story	.	viewer	liberation	comes	with	"	the	point	.	"	claudia	and	leo	,	by	mutual	consent	,	will	not	have	sex	as	they	are	going	in	different	geographic	(	and	other	)	directions	.	dad	watches	home	movies	.	more	sentiment	.	the	real	point	is	that	this	movie	is	pointless	.	that	not	a	single	performer	is	explored	,	seems	to	believe	in	his	part	,	plays	well	,	is	involving	,	that	no	one	uses	more	than	two	basic	expressions	.	claudia	takes	the	return	plane	.	who	comes	in	but	leo	,	with	a	ridiculous	lamp	(	don't	ask	)	?	he	proposes	that	they	spend	the	two	hour	flight	sitting	together	.	perhaps	they'll	go	to	sleep	.	that's	what	the	film's	audience	ought	to	do	too	.
neg	father	of	the	bride	ii	follows	the	1991	father	of	the	bride	,	itself	a	remake	of	the	1950	movie	by	the	same	title	.	the	original	was	a	nice	,	high	bourgeoisie	,	mainstream	film	.	the	father	was	spencer	tracy	who	could	do	no	wrong	in	his	roles	.	the	daughter	was	elizabeth	taylor	.	that	film	was	followed	by	father's	little	dividend	(	1951	)	,	also	with	tracy	and	taylor	.	it	is	that	last	movie	that	has	been	now	remade	as	father	of	the	bride	ii	.	i	have	not	seen	the	1991	picture	and	my	memory	of	father's	little	dividend	is	hazy	,	so	no	comparisons	will	be	made	.	but	i	have	seen	father	of	the	bride	ii	and	i	can	tell	you	that	if	you	want	to	see	steve	martin	in	fine	fettle	in	a	good	picture	,	find	something	else	to	watch	.	there's	ample	choice	,	including	four	fine	films	that	for	mysterious	reasons	averaged	poor	to	mediocre	reviews	:	pennies	from	heaven	,	three	amigos	,	my	blue	heaven	,	and	housesitter	.	the	script	of	father	of	the	bride	ii	is	based	on	that	of	father's	little	dividend	,	but	this	time	there	are	two	pregnancies	.	george	banks	(	martin	)	is	a	wealthy	man	approaching	50	contented	with	his	life	,	kids	,	wife	and	house	.	he	say	so	at	the	start	of	the	movie	,	addressing	the	audience	.	there	is	more	of	this	later	too	.	the	uncreative	way	the	monologue	is	handled	shows	that	it	is	used	as	a	crutch	.	when	his	married	daughter	announces	that	she	is	pregnant	,	george	goes	into	a	blue	funk	at	the	idea	of	aging	and	becoming	a	grandfather	.	this	too	is	handled	lamely	,	opting	for	sentiment	instead	of	having	steve	martin	do	a	manic	depressive	turn	.	george	tries	rejuvenating	his	appearance	by	dyeing	his	white	hair	and	other	steps	.	in	a	moment	of	abandon	he	makes	love	to	his	wife	nina	(	keaton	)	on	the	kitchen	floor	.	let's	cut	to	the	chase	.	some	time	later	the	senior	couple	find	out	that	nina	is	pregnant	,	to	her	delight	and	to	his	shock	.	but	he	comes	around	and	everything	goes	swimmingly	as	mother	and	daughter	both	produce	babies	next	door	to	each	other	in	the	same	hospital	and	at	the	exact	same	time	.	if	you	can	swallow	that	much	coincidence	you	should	see	the	infinitely	funnier	(	but	naughty	)	"	micki	maude	,	"	a	1984	farce	by	blake	edwards	in	which	bigamist	tv	reporter	dudley	moore	has	two	wives	giving	birth	at	the	same	time	and	place	.	skip	,	however	the	1995	pregnancy	movie	"	nine	months	"	(	with	hugh	grant	)	,	which	is	pretty	poor	,	except	for	robin	wiliams's	turn	.	father	of	the	bride	ii	is	phony	throughout	and	disconnected	from	real	life	,	or	at	least	the	life	of	the	huge	majority	of	viewers	.	the	banks	live	in	a	mansion	that	would	make	cary	grant	and	myrna	loy	(	in	mr	.	blandings	builds	his	dream	house	(	1948	)	green	with	envy	.	george's	profession	and	source	of	income	are	a	mystery	.	the	only	time	we	see	him	in	his	work	place	is	when	he	crosses	a	large	office	while	getting	from	his	secretary	a	list	of	famous	people	who	are	his	seniors	.	father	of	the	brdie	ii	is	a	rich	people's	film	.	when	for	reasons	i	will	not	go	into	,	george	has	sold	his	house	then	wants	to	buy	it	back	from	mr	.	habib	(	eugene	levy	)	the	entrepreneur	,	he	thinks	nothing	of	returning	habib's	check	plus	a	bonus	of	100	,	000	.	with	the	help	of	another	entrepreneur	,	the	family	friend	played	by	martin	short	,	george	then	gets	going	on	building	an	addition	,	a	"	baby	suite	"	that	could	easily	house	a	small	family	.	then	comes	a	luxurious	two	babies	shower	,	also	orchestrated	by	martin	short	.	wnna	bet	that	george	and	nina	do	not	clip	grocery	coupons	?	very	,	very	little	is	funny	about	this	film	,	in	spite	of	martin's	unquestioned	abilities	.	instead	we	get	a	lot	of	delighted	squealing	(	as	when	the	daughter	makes	her	announcement	)	and	dumb	,	silly	scenes	(	as	in	the	dog	sequence	)	.	we	get	oceans	of	glop	and	an	overall	atmosphere	that	is	like	an	updated	or	transplanted	eisenhower	era	mentality	,	when	much	of	america	was	optimistic	and	thriving	.	the	picture	also	wallows	in	corny	sentiment	,	like	a	flashback	of	george	teaching	basketball	to	his	then	little	girl	to	the	sounds	of	awful	swelling	music	.	(	normally	composer	alan	silvestri	does	a	lot	better	than	in	this	picture	)	.	what's	even	worse	is	that	the	film	is	so	lethargic	that	a	sleeping	pills	incident	stands	as	a	symbol	of	the	whole	.	at	the	same	time	the	movie	manages	to	offend	people	right	and	left	:	arabs	(	the	grasping	,	cold	mr	.	habib	)	,	hospital	staff	(	they	make	an	initial	mistake	)	and	doctors	(	there	is	mistrust	of	obstetrician	dr	.	eisenberg	who	is	young	and	a	woman	)	.	canines	too	.	more	irritating	yet	is	the	role	of	martin	short	as	frank	eggelhoffer	.	he	is	an	unexplained	friend	(	unless	perhaps	you	know	father	of	the	bride	)	who	is	now	an	interior	decorator	,	now	a	contractor	,	now	a	caterer	.	introduced	as	a	flaming	gay	,	in	gestures	and	speech	he	minces	,	flounces	,	overdoes	everything	so	much	that	he	is	an	insult	to	both	gays	and	straights	.	with	vague	european	origins	,	he	speaks	with	an	accent	that's	neither	german	or	anything	else	.	it	starts	out	highly	exaggerated	then	ebbs	,	flows	and	changes	as	the	movie	unreels	.	his	nom	de	film	is	taken	,	i	bet	,	from	the	screwball	classic	nothing	sacred	(	1937	)	where	the	great	supporting	actor	sig	ruman	played	dr	.	eggelhoffer	.	the	only	four	things	i	liked	in	father	of	the	bride	ii	were	jane	adams	in	her	small	part	as	the	charming	and	most	professional	dr	.	eisenberg	;	the	two	dobermans	;	and	george's	beautiful	two	seater	convertible	.	neither	the	end	credits	nor	the	body	of	the	movie	identify	the	car	.	for	once	,	product	placement	would	have	been	welcome	.
neg	capsule	:	in	2176	on	the	planet	mars	police	taking	into	custody	an	accused	murderer	face	the	title	menace	.	there	is	a	lot	of	fighting	and	not	a	whole	lot	of	story	otherwise	.	john	carpenter	reprises	so	many	ideas	from	his	previous	films	,	especially	assault	on	precinct	13	,	that	the	new	film	comes	off	as	his	homage	to	himself	.	rating	:	4	(	0	to	10	)	,	0	(	4	to	4	)	.	john	carpenter	apparently	believes	that	action	scenes	in	which	people	fight	something	horrible	are	the	same	as	horror	scenes	.	for	a	writer	and	director	of	horror	films	,	supposedly	an	expert	on	horror	,	it	is	a	very	bad	mistake	to	make	.	ghosts	of	mars	is	called	a	horror	movie	,	but	it	is	more	just	a	drawn	out	fight	between	humans	and	a	surprisingly	low	powered	alien	menace	.	in	addition	if	anybody	but	john	carpenter	had	made	ghosts	of	mars	,	carpenter	would	have	grounds	to	sue	.	this	film	is	just	chock	full	of	pieces	taken	from	assault	on	precinct	13	,	the	thing	,	and	prince	of	darkness	.	it	is	,	in	fact	,	surprising	that	carpenter	managed	to	fit	so	many	pieces	of	his	previous	work	into	this	film	in	such	an	admittedly	novel	way	.	but	that	still	does	not	make	for	a	really	good	science	fiction	experience	.	ghosts	of	mars	takes	place	in	the	year	2176	.	mars	has	been	mostly	terraformed	so	that	humans	can	walk	on	the	surface	without	breathing	gear	(	which	is	good	for	the	film's	budget	)	.	it	is	never	mentioned	,	but	the	gravity	on	mars	has	been	increased	somehow	to	earth	normal	,	again	making	it	easier	to	film	.	society	has	changed	a	bit	by	that	time	,	but	it	has	advanced	surprisingly	little	.	apparently	the	culture	has	changed	so	that	women	are	much	more	in	positions	of	control	.	and	from	carpenter's	view	,	women	have	really	made	a	mess	of	things	.	society	has	stagnated	under	female	control	so	that	beyond	some	minor	technological	advances	society	has	changed	less	in	175	years	than	we	might	expect	it	to	change	in	ten	.	the	basic	plot	of	ghosts	of	mars	has	much	in	common	with	that	of	assault	on	precinct	13	except	that	precinct	9	(	yes	,	precinct	9	)	has	been	replaced	by	a	somewhat	tacky	looking	rundown	martian	mining	colony	.	instead	of	having	the	criminal	"	napolean	"	wilson	,	this	film	has	the	criminal	"	desolation	"	williams	.	instead	of	facing	hoodlums	with	automatic	weapons	the	police	face	,	well	,	ghosts	of	mars	.	because	the	ghosts	are	somewhat	alien	in	nature	they	should	behave	in	some	alien	manner	,	but	they	essentially	behave	as	human	savages	,	in	another	lapse	of	imagination	.	the	story	is	told	in	flashback	,	flashback	within	flashback	,	and	flashback	within	flashback	within	flashback	.	ghosts	of	mars	takes	place	entirely	at	night	and	is	filmed	almost	entirely	in	tones	of	red	,	yellow	,	and	black	.	carpenter	manages	to	give	us	a	powerful	opening	scene	,	showing	a	mining	train	rushing	through	the	martian	night	to	the	sound	of	music	with	a	heavy	beat	.	sadly	what	follows	is	not	really	up	to	the	buildup	.	the	terror	he	creates	looks	a	little	too	much	like	fugitive	wannabes	from	the	rock	band	kiss	.	his	idea	of	building	suspense	is	having	a	bunch	of	sudden	jump	scenes	that	sucker	the	viewer	into	thinking	something	scary	is	happening	and	then	prove	to	be	just	something	boring	.	these	are	standard	haunted	house	film	shock	effects	that	require	no	great	talent	to	give	the	audience	.	somewhat	newer	but	also	unimpressive	are	the	cgi	digital	decapitations	in	some	of	the	fights	.	within	a	short	stretch	of	time	we	have	seen	the	release	of	mission	to	mars	,	red	planet	,	and	ghosts	of	mars	.	after	mission	to	mars	was	panned	by	too	many	reviewers	it	looks	better	and	better	and	better	as	time	goes	by	.	i	rate	ghosts	of	mars	a	4	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	0	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.	following	the	movie	i	showed	my	wife	,	who	liked	ghosts	of	mars	moderately	more	than	i	did	,	carpenter's	classic	assault	on	precinct	13	.	her	comment	is	that	it	was	seeing	the	same	film	twice	.
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	warner	bros	on	june	2	,	2000	;	certificate	12	;	118	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	roger	christian	;	produced	by	elie	samaha	,	jonathan	d	.	crane	,	john	travolta	.	written	by	corey	mandell	,	j	.	d	.	shapiro	;	based	on	the	novel	by	l	.	ron	hubbard	.	photographed	by	giles	nuttgens	;	edited	by	robin	russell	.	i	sometimes	get	angry	,	looking	at	the	smug	cynicism	of	organisations	like	the	golden	raspberry	awards	and	www	.	thestinkers	.	com	,	which	exist	to	discuss	bad	movies	.	after	a	while	they	forget	about	their	purpose	,	and	just	rip	into	everything	they	can	,	regardless	of	the	quality	.	it	takes	a	movie	like	"	battlefield	earth	"	to	remind	us	why	they	were	formed	in	the	first	place	;	it's	a	big	scale	disaster	that	brings	back	memories	of	all	the	shoddy	space	opera	crap	that	came	out	when	i	was	a	kid	in	the	80s	.	watching	those	grainy	tapes	in	the	early	days	of	vhs	,	i	wondered	what	the	same	crappy	special	effects	and	drab	colours	would	look	like	on	the	big	screen	.	now	i	know	.	"	battlefield	earth	"	is	based	on	a	novel	by	l	.	ron	hubbard	,	the	founder	of	the	new	age	religion	scientology	,	but	if	the	book	contains	any	moral	messages	or	symbols	,	then	they've	been	lost	in	the	transition	to	the	screen	,	in	favour	of	dimensionless	sci	fi	.	the	story	takes	place	in	the	year	3000	.	an	alien	race	,	the	psychlos	,	has	taken	over	earth	,	and	man	is	an	endangered	species	.	the	few	humans	who	are	not	enslaved	in	manual	labour	camps	roam	the	countryside	,	hunting	for	food	and	making	weird	noises	,	like	cavemen	.	the	hero	of	the	movie	is	one	of	these	neanderthal	chaps	,	johnny	goodboy	tyler	(	barry	pepper	)	,	who	announces	,	in	his	own	grunting	way	,	that	he	is	going	to	find	the	psychlos	,	arrange	a	revolt	against	them	and	reclaim	the	planet	.	when	his	plan	gets	underway	,	johnny	comes	to	the	attention	of	terl	(	john	travolta	)	and	ker	(	forest	whitaker	)	,	two	chiefs	of	staff	in	the	psychlos'	security	command	.	they	try	to	stop	him	by	keeping	him	busy	,	having	him	mine	gold	for	them	in	some	kind	of	secret	corrupt	operation	.	humans	grumble	,	aliens	snarl	,	and	then	there's	an	action	climax	that	attempts	to	rip	off	the	death	star	attack	in	"	star	wars	"	but	looks	more	like	an	atari	game	.	throughout	everything	,	plot	holes	and	contradictions	abound	.	at	the	start	of	the	movie	,	everyone	has	to	wear	breathing	apparatus	resembling	big	lines	of	snot	,	because	earth	air	is	unbreathable	people	are	even	executed	by	being	deprived	of	their	tubes	.	next	thing	you	know	,	terl	comes	up	with	his	idea	of	having	humans	mine	for	gold	,	because	they	don't	need	breathing	apparatus	.	eh	?	how	about	the	fact	that	the	psychlos	are	obviously	a	bunch	of	incompetents	who	can	be	defeated	by	rebellious	cavemen	,	and	yet	they	apparently	conquered	all	human	armies	in	nine	minutes	?	why	doesn't	terl	have	a	clue	about	human	levels	of	intelligence	or	behaviour	patterns	,	when	he	has	a	computer	programme	full	of	details	about	our	languages	,	history	,	biology	and	technology	?	why	does	terl	want	to	mine	gold	,	when	it	is	a	worthless	substance	to	the	psychlos	?	why	does	johnny	seize	terl's	gun	,	make	a	rousing	speech	about	how	human	comrades	should	fight	for	freedom	,	then	return	the	gun	and	go	back	to	work	?	?	the	production	values	are	just	as	inexplicable	.	travolta	and	whitaker	are	virtually	unrecognisable	underneath	pounds	of	rotten	makeup	,	they	talk	like	drunkards	telling	jokes	,	and	they	wear	codpieces	that	restrict	their	movements	.	and	everything	is	seen	in	tilt	shots	or	slow	motion	,	through	a	pall	of	bluish	mist	that	makes	everything	look	grubby	.	although	special	effects	have	improved	dramatically	in	the	last	twenty	years	,	those	in	"	battlefield	earth	"	are	a	throwback	to	worse	times	the	soundtrack	is	made	up	of	distorted	echoes	,	and	the	visuals	are	a	collection	of	blurred	model	shots	and	weird	looking	props	scattered	around	cheap	sets	.	the	movie	is	so	outrageously	,	spectacularly	,	unbelievably	bad	that	we	stare	at	it	with	some	sort	of	appalled	curiosity	.	it	fails	on	so	many	levels	that	it's	fascinating	,	although	not	so	much	that	i'd	sit	through	it	again	.	remember	all	that	"	who	shot	jr	?	"	merchandise	?	maybe	one	day	they'll	also	have	t	shirts	and	bumper	stickers	declaring	"	i	sat	through	battlefield	earth	!	"	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	director	:	steven	seagal	writers	:	ed	horowitz	and	robin	o	.	russin	starring	:	steven	seagal	,	joan	chen	,	michael	caine	,	john	c	.	mcginley	,	r	.	lee	ermey	,	billy	bob	thornton	martial	arts	master	steven	seagal	(	not	to	mention	director	!	)	has	built	a	career	out	of	playing	an	allegedly	fictitious	martial	arts	superman	who	never	gets	hurt	in	fights	,	talks	in	a	hushed	tone	,	and	squints	at	any	sign	of	danger	.	he's	also	the	most	consistent	individual	in	hollywood	today	,	since	all	his	movies	suck	.	they	basically	represent	his	egotisitical	tendencies	about	his	art	(	that	is	,	martial	art	)	.	i'm	sure	the	guy's	good	,	and	he	seems	like	a	nice	guy	on	talk	shows	,	although	a	tad	haughty	,	but	these	movies	he	makes	are	all	the	same	:	a	guy	who	is	basically	indestructable	,	is	maybe	wounded	supposedly	mortally	,	then	comes	back	with	a	vengeance	and	goes	buddha	on	all	the	baddies	asses	(	although	i	kinda	liked	"	under	siege	"	)	.	of	course	,	this	one	,	as	a	change	,	has	a	"	message	"	that	is	drilled	into	our	mind	.	.	.	of	course	,	after	he	blows	up	a	lot	of	stuff	and	kills	a	bunch	of	people	.	so	why	do	i	watch	his	crap	?	i	usually	don't	.	i	will	never	,	and	you	can	hold	me	to	this	,	i	will	never	pay	to	see	this	man's	movies	,	unless	,	and	only	unless	,	he's	in	a	supporting	role	(	i	.	e	.	"	executive	decision	"	)	and	i'd	definitely	pay	if	he	dies	(	i	.	e	.	"	executive	decision	"	)	.	but	this	one	has	a	special	place	in	my	heart	.	this	doesn't	mean	it's	good	or	that	i	even	liked	it	.	this	was	the	last	movie	i	watched	with	my	deceased	uncle	,	and	we	had	one	hell	of	a	time	ripping	it	apart	a	la	"	mystery	science	theatre	3000	,	"	and	this	was	a	couple	years	before	i	had	heard	of	"	mystery	science	theatre	3000	.	"	in	this	one	,	seagal	plays	a	worker	for	a	mining	factory	set	in	alaska	and	run	by	the	greased	up	typical	shallow	villain	,	this	time	played	by	an	oscar	winner	to	give	the	movie	some	more	clout	michael	caine	.	it	seems	that	caine	wants	to	do	something	with	his	oil	factory	that	includes	him	dumping	oil	all	over	inuit	land	.	around	the	20	30	minute	point	,	seagal	speaks	up	to	him	in	what	seems	to	be	the	typical	speech	to	all	the	vain	entrepeneurs	(	what	with	his	new	"	fire	down	below	,	"	another	"	message	film	"	)	,	and	caine	has	him	bumped	off	.	.	.	or	does	he	?	seagal	is	rescued	by	some	inuits	,	and	falls	in	love	with	one	of	them	,	played	by	joan	chen	,	who	can	act	,	hypothetically	,	but	,	for	some	reason	,	not	here	.	one	of	caine's	cliched	henchmen	(	played	here	with	a	lot	of	overacting	by	john	c	.	mcginley	)	shoots	the	cheif	of	the	inuit	clan	,	and	chen	and	seagal	go	on	a	voyage	to	take	down	the	oil	factory	.	.	.	literally	,	of	course	.	at	one	point	,	seagal	gives	a	wonderfully	hysterical	speech	about	how	he	doesn't	have	any	options	but	blow	stuff	up	.	he	even	goes	as	far	as	to	say	,	"	i	don't	want	to	kill	someone	,	"	and	in	the	same	breath	,	he	asks	some	guy	where	the	arsenal	is	.	i	have	no	problem	with	violence	.	i'm	a	huge	john	woo	fan	,	but	he	paints	his	films	with	suspense	,	skill	,	style	,	depth	,	characterization	,	and	just	plain	cool	violence	.	in	the	films	of	seagal	,	the	suspense	mainly	consists	of	the	baddie	attacking	him	stupidly	,	and	him	either	wounding	or	killing	them	.	at	some	points	,	they	use	the	cliche	of	the	talking	villain	,	where	the	villain	has	the	advantage	,	can	shoot	seagal	,	but	begins	talking	by	either	telling	him	his	big	secret	plan	,	or	saying	a	corny	line	,	to	which	seagal	says	something	hokey	back	,	and	has	had	enough	time	to	devise	of	a	way	to	do	away	with	them	,	and	does	.	this	would	be	okay	if	there	were	any	suspense	or	if	it	didn't	take	itself	seriously	at	all	,	like	in	the	case	of	this	summer's	"	con	air	.	"	but	seagal	is	serious	about	his	skill	,	and	of	course	,	his	message	.	i	wouldn't	mind	if	this	was	a	message	film	in	the	way	that	they	present	it	to	you	with	evidence	.	but	seagal	has	no	idea	how	to	present	a	film	where	the	message	is	subtle	,	not	pounded	into	the	viewer's	mind	.	the	villain	is	totally	shallow	and	cartoonish	,	thus	we	can't	take	him	and	his	motives	seriously	,	and	while	seagal	talks	about	being	kind	to	the	environment	,	he	also	goes	ahead	and	blows	up	a	square	mile	of	rig	,	and	kills	some	workers	who	were	just	doing	his	job	.	then	at	the	end	,	he	spends	a	good	10	minutes	giving	a	speech	,	just	in	case	you	didn't	get	the	message	from	the	trailers	.	what	seagal	doesn't	realize	is	that	no	one	takes	his	films	seriously	(	although	maybe	a	couple	do	)	and	any	message	he	has	is	no	only	redundant	,	but	doesn't	comfortably	fit	in	his	film	,	which	is	filled	to	the	brim	with	hokey	violence	,	crap	suspense	,	stupid	melodrama	,	and	characters	who	have	about	as	much	emotional	depth	as	a	petri	dish	.	as	far	as	seagal	and	his	acting	,	he's	rather	boring	.	he	squints	,	he	kills	.	period	.	nothing	else	.	oh	,	yeah	,	there's	corny	one	liners	(	"	i'm	gonna	reach	out	and	touch	someone	!	"	)	.	of	course	,	he's	the	star	,	and	we're	supposed	to	root	for	him	and	all	,	so	he	makes	all	the	villains	unbelievably	stupid	and	a	bunch	of	jerks	.	michael	caine	,	who's	a	great	actor	,	is	just	supposed	to	yell	and	look	cold	.	he	does	it	well	,	i	guess	,	but	this	is	no	"	alfie	.	"	of	coure	,	no	one	was	expecting	that	caliber	of	performance	from	him	.	his	big	henchman	,	john	c	.	mcginley	is	kinda	boring	as	well	,	but	is	not	horrible	.	and	we	even	get	a	small	performance	from	that	god	of	drill	sergeants	on	celluloid	,	r	.	lee	ermey	(	from	"	full	metal	jacket	"	)	as	a	hired	assasin	squad	leader	who	gets	to	say	the	obligatory	speech	about	how	dangerous	seagal	is	,	just	for	the	movie	trailers	and	for	seagal's	ego	.	and	also	,	look	for	billy	bob	thornton	as	one	of	ermey's	assasins	.	anyway	,	to	conclude	this	all	,	to	judge	one	of	seagal's	movies	is	to	judge	all	of	them	(	except	for	"	under	siege	"	and	"	executive	decision	,	"	though	the	latter	is	not	really	a	"	seagal	movie	"	)	.	they	all	have	this	same	formula	,	they	all	have	the	same	action	,	same	villain	,	same	plot	,	but	this	one	has	that	message	,	which	makes	it	more	excrucitating	to	watch	.	i	mean	,	if	you	do	rent	it	,	and	i	don't	reccomend	you	do	,	make	sure	you	just	skip	the	last	10	minutes	.	but	i	have	to	put	it	to	seagal	for	creating	a	film	so	bad	,	that	the	last	film	i	viewed	with	my	uncle	was	a	pleasurable	one	.	my	rating	(	out	of	4	)	:	(	extra	star	for	the	fun	it	is	to	watch	and	mock	)	homepage	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	hills	8335	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	hills	8335	a
neg	director	:	richard	fleischer	screenwriter	:	normal	wexler	(	based	on	the	novel	by	ken	ostott	and	the	play	by	jack	krikland	)	stars	:	james	mason	(	warren	maxwell	)	,	perry	king	(	hammond	maxwell	)	,	susan	george	(	blanche	)	,	ken	norton	(	mede	)	,	brenda	sykes	(	ellen	)	,	ji	tu	cumbuka	(	cicero	)	,	roy	poole	(	doc	redfield	)	,	richard	ward	(	agamemnon	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	review	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	"	mandingo	"	has	traditionally	been	seen	as	one	of	two	things	:	either	a	much	needed	revisionist	look	at	slavery	in	the	south	,	or	in	the	words	of	film	critic	leonard	maltin	,	"	a	trashy	potboiler	"	that	"	appeals	only	to	the	s	m	crowd	.	"	actually	,	i	think	"	mandingo	"	is	a	strange	combination	of	the	two	,	although	it	fails	on	both	fronts	.	it's	too	trashy	to	be	good	drama	,	but	too	dramatic	to	be	good	trash	.	the	story	takes	place	on	a	dilapidated	louisiana	plantation	run	by	crotchety	old	warren	maxwell	(	james	mason	)	and	his	son	,	hammond	(	perry	king	)	.	one	day	in	new	orleans	,	hammond	comes	across	a	slave	trader	selling	a	mandingo	named	mede	(	heavyweight	boxer	ken	norton	)	.	although	the	movie	never	explains	it	,	a	mandingo	is	simply	the	name	for	africans	who	come	from	the	region	of	the	upper	niger	river	valley	.	according	to	the	movie	,	mandingos	were	the	rolls	royce	of	african	slaves	.	hammond	pays	top	price	for	mede	and	has	to	fight	off	others	in	order	to	get	him	.	hammond	then	spends	his	time	training	mede	to	be	a	fighter	in	money	brawls	with	other	slaves	.	meanwhile	,	hammond	has	married	his	cousin	,	blanche	(	susan	george	)	,	because	she	wants	to	escape	her	family	and	he	is	under	pressure	from	his	father	to	produce	a	grandchild	.	hammond	,	however	,	is	happier	spending	nights	with	his	"	bed	wench	,	"	the	derogatory	name	given	to	female	slaves	used	by	their	masters	for	easy	sex	.	it	is	quickly	apparent	that	hammond	,	despite	his	overt	racism	,	is	more	in	love	with	his	bed	wench	,	a	sensitive	slave	girl	named	ellen	(	brenda	sykes	)	,	than	he	is	with	blanche	.	hammond	considers	blanche	tainted	goods	because	he	finds	out	on	their	wedding	night	that	another	man	had	"	pleasured	"	her	before	he	did	.	of	course	,	it's	fine	that	he's	slept	with	numerous	slave	girls	,	but	the	fact	that	his	wife	,	a	"	white	lady	,	"	had	been	with	another	man	out	of	wedlock	destroys	his	capacity	to	care	for	her	.	so	blanche	is	usually	left	lonely	and	sex	starved	while	hammond	is	sleeping	with	ellen	.	blanche	gets	back	at	hammond	by	seducing	the	studly	mede	and	bearing	his	child	.	hammond	and	his	father	cannot	stand	the	idea	that	blanche	has	given	birth	to	a	half	black	child	(	although	it's	okay	that	ellen	was	pregnant	by	hammond	)	,	so	warren	kills	the	child	by	letting	it	bleed	to	death	after	birth	,	and	hammond	poisons	blanche	.	hammond	then	finds	mede	,	shoots	him	twice	in	the	shoulder	,	and	pushes	him	into	a	giant	cauldron	of	boiling	water	.	yes	,	you	read	right	:	the	film	ends	with	hammond	getting	his	revenge	by	boiling	mede	alive	.	judging	only	by	the	plot	,	"	mandingo	"	is	pure	sexploitation	.	the	main	purpose	of	the	film	seems	to	be	getting	as	many	blacks	and	whites	into	bed	together	as	possible	,	with	only	the	slightest	commentary	on	what	that	would	mean	in	19th	century	southern	society	.	when	"	mandingo	"	was	released	in	1975	,	it	was	still	a	bit	of	a	shocker	to	see	miscegenation	on	screen	in	such	a	graphic	detail	;	this	way	the	movie	could	revise	cinematic	history	while	attracting	large	audiences	of	curious	voyeurs	.	dramatically	,	"	mandingo	"	is	weak	and	unfocused	,	and	historically	it's	mostly	confused	.	if	one	were	to	judge	history	by	this	film	,	it	would	be	easy	to	walk	away	with	the	notion	that	the	entire	system	of	american	slavery	was	based	on	sexuality	,	not	economics	.	not	once	in	the	film	do	we	see	any	of	the	slaves	working	,	except	for	a	few	house	servants	.	the	men	spend	most	of	the	time	sitting	around	,	while	the	sole	purpose	of	a	female	slave	seems	to	be	free	sex	for	the	owner	.	there	is	historical	basis	in	the	notion	that	slave	owners	often	slept	with	their	female	slaves	,	but	"	mandingo's	"	overwhelming	emphasis	on	this	aspect	of	slavery	gives	the	movie	the	unpleasant	taste	of	a	cheap	sex	flick	(	although	there's	plenty	of	violence	fights	,	vicious	beatings	,	shootings	,	and	the	aforementioned	human	boiling	sequence	thrown	in	for	good	measure	)	.	some	tried	to	write	off	"	mandingo	"	as	a	blaxploitation	film	,	one	of	a	number	of	quickly	made	,	low	budget	films	appealing	to	black	sensibilities	in	the	early	seventies	,	but	it's	not	that	easy	.	"	mandingo	"	was	studio	financed	by	paramount	pictures	,	and	produced	by	dino	de	laurentiis	,	the	grandiose	italian	producer	behind	such	notorious	productions	as	"	the	bible	"	(	1966	)	,	the	remake	of	"	king	kong	"	(	1976	)	,	and	the	ill	fated	"	dune	"	(	1984	)	.	the	director	was	richard	fleischer	,	a	veteran	who	was	best	known	for	several	special	effects	laden	action	movies	including	"	20	,	000	leagues	under	the	sea	"	(	1954	)	and	"	fantastic	voyage	"	(	1966	)	,	as	well	as	such	superior	suspense	films	as	"	the	narrow	margin	"	(	1952	)	.	the	script	,	based	on	the	supermarket	best	seller	by	ken	ostott	(	and	the	subsequent	play	by	jack	kirkland	)	,	was	penned	by	norman	wexler	,	who	had	been	nominated	for	an	oscar	two	years	earlier	for	his	work	on	"	serpico	.	"	james	mason	,	perry	king	,	and	susan	george	were	well	known	and	respected	actors	(	mason	already	had	three	oscar	nominations	under	his	belt	)	,	and	ken	norton	appeared	to	have	a	promising	film	career	.	so	why	is	"	mandingo	"	so	bad	?	a	number	of	reasons	,	including	the	fact	that	all	those	experienced	filmmakers	behind	and	in	front	of	the	camera	did	a	lousy	job	.	wexler's	script	is	pure	poor	hokum	bordering	on	the	offensive	;	it	combines	stereotyped	slave	talk	(	"	yessuh	,	massuh	"	)	,	stereotyped	southern	white	trash	talk	(	"	fer	whut're	you	gittin'	outta	bed	?	"	)	,	and	stereotyped	contemporary	militant	black	talk	(	"	if	you	see	me	hang	,	you	gonna	know	you	killed	a	black	brother	!	"	)	.	fleischer's	direction	is	clumsy	,	especially	during	the	fight	scenes	,	and	all	the	actors	give	weak	performances	,	especially	susan	george	whose	constant	shrieking	finally	becomes	laughable	.	nevertheless	,	credit	should	be	given	where	credit	is	due	.	despite	its	exploitative	nature	,	"	mandingo	"	was	one	of	the	first	hollywood	movies	to	take	an	alternative	look	at	slavery	.	until	then	,	there	had	been	a	kind	of	underlying	racism	in	all	hollywood	films	dealing	with	slavery	.	even	classics	such	as	"	gone	with	the	wind	"	(	1939	)	can	be	seen	as	inherently	racist	by	its	glossing	over	the	subject	matter	.	"	mandingo	"	reassessed	the	south	,	and	showed	that	it	wasn't	all	beautiful	plantations	,	green	fields	,	and	pretty	sunsets	.	but	all	this	is	constantly	undermined	by	the	film's	negligible	point	of	view	it	claims	to	see	things	from	the	black	perspective	,	but	the	entire	narrative	focus	is	on	the	soap	opera	tales	of	the	white	owners	.	with	a	little	more	maturity	and	different	handling	,	"	mandingo	"	might	have	been	an	effective	,	worthwhile	film	.	while	it	portrays	many	sensitive	aspects	of	slavery	,	it	never	deals	with	them	.	the	issues	the	movie	brings	up	are	worthwhile	,	but	wexler's	script	refuses	to	move	them	beyond	a	surface	level	of	trashily	vicarious	viewing	.	there	is	a	great	deal	of	potential	in	honestly	exploring	the	nature	of	a	sexual	relationship	between	slave	and	owner	,	but	"	mandingo	"	never	does	it	.	steven	spielberg	touched	on	that	same	topic	in	"	schindler's	list	"	(	1993	)	,	by	looking	at	a	nazi	officer	writhing	in	inner	turmoil	because	of	his	feelings	for	a	jewish	maid	.	the	difference	between	that	film	and	"	mandingo	"	is	that	spielberg	dealt	with	the	situation	in	a	fair	,	unexploitive	manner	that	focused	on	the	inherent	human	dilemma	.	"	mandingo	"	is	satisfied	to	simply	show	some	skin	,	and	because	of	that	,	its	"	trashy	potboiler	"	nature	overshadows	any	potential	social	good	it	might	have	accomplished	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	two	sister	witches	have	to	live	with	a	curse	placed	upon	their	family	,	which	prevents	them	from	ever	enjoying	a	full	life	with	a	lover	.	the	hex	invokes	the	eventual	demise	of	their	loved	one	.	when	one	of	their	past	loves	comes	back	to	haunt	them	,	they	have	to	figure	a	way	out	of	their	eternal	dilemma	.	critique	:	i've	been	waiting	for	a	good	witch	movie	for	a	while	now	,	but	hold	on	to	your	brooms	and	incantations	,	cause	this	puppy	is	far	from	being	it	!	for	a	film	that	has	the	word	"	magic	"	in	its	title	,	this	movie	contains	very	few	moments	of	magic	.	.	.	or	humor	for	that	matter	,	drama	,	suspense	,	or	romance	.	well	actually	,	there	is	some	manufactured	romance	within	a	plot	that	is	so	muddled	,	it	never	lets	you	in	on	whether	it's	a	comedy	,	a	drama	,	a	horror	show	,	or	a	murder	mystery	.	or	maybe	it's	a	romance	,	eh	?	it	doesn't	really	matter	,	cause	the	characters	in	the	film	are	so	boring	and	uninteresting	,	that	you	have	absolutely	no	basis	on	which	to	care	for	them	,	or	the	film	as	a	whole	.	if	only	the	filmmakers	had	spent	as	much	time	on	the	plot	as	they	did	the	sinfully	obvious	soundtrack	,	this	film	might've	had	a	chance	to	be	more	than	what	it	is	now	.	which	is	an	unentertaining	,	crappy	film	that	uses	the	witch	angle	as	a	diversionary	tactic	to	weave	us	away	from	its	grab	bag	of	stupid	voice	overs	,	overdone	songs	,	melodramatic	romance	,	undeveloped	story	and	uneven	acting	.	i	only	wish	that	i	could	make	that	one	hour	and	forty	five	minutes	of	my	life	re	appear	,	but	alas	,	it	is	lost	in	the	spiritual	world	of	"	interesting	ideas	gone	wildly	awry	"	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	this	film	is	based	on	the	novel	written	by	alice	hoffman	.	co	screenwriter	akiva	goldsman	also	wrote	the	screenplay	for	1997's	batman	robin	.	director	griffin	dunne	is	known	mainly	as	an	actor	in	such	films	as	an	american	werewolf	in	london	and	after	hours	.
neg	cast	:	nicolas	cage	,	joaquin	phoenix	,	james	gandolfini	,	peter	stormare	,	anthony	heald	written	by	:	andrew	kevin	walker	directed	by	:	joel	schumacher	running	time	:	124	minutes	the	following	review	contains	spoilers	"	please	someone	stop	joel	schumacher	before	he	vomits	into	a	film	canister	again	and	tries	to	pass	it	off	as	a	movie	.	"	chuck	dowling	,	the	jacksonville	film	journal	i	wrote	the	above	sentence	in	my	review	for	1997's	batman	and	robin	.	apparently	,	no	one	heard	my	words	.	oh	,	how	i	wish	you	had	heard	them	.	oh	how	i	wish	someone	had	stopped	him	.	.	.	because	he's	done	it	again	.	the	plot	of	8mm	is	similar	to	the	1977	paul	schrader	film	hardcore	,	a	surprisingly	decent	and	engrossing	tale	.	in	fact	,	it	was	everything	that	8mm	is	not	.	in	the	opening	minutes	of	8mm	,	we	see	private	detective	tom	welles	(	nicolas	cage	)	working	on	a	case	for	a	prestigious	member	of	the	u	.	s	.	government	.	keep	this	fact	in	mind	,	cage	is	trusted	with	an	important	case	,	which	he	solves	.	he	returns	home	to	his	wife	and	new	daughter	,	and	even	finds	time	to	rake	his	yard	(	keep	that	in	mind	too	,	it's	important	as	well	)	.	he's	hired	by	a	rich	elderly	woman	to	solve	a	mystery	.	after	her	husband's	death	she	comes	across	a	film	in	his	private	safe	.	it	appears	to	be	snuff	film	,	a	sort	of	urban	legend	of	the	pornography	industry	in	which	someone	is	actually	brutally	murdered	for	the	camera	.	the	woman	wants	welles	to	locate	the	young	girl	in	the	film	,	hopefully	to	disprove	that	it	is	in	fact	a	snuff	film	.	so	he	sets	off	on	a	journey	into	the	sordid	underworld	of	sleaze	to	discover	the	truth	about	the	film	.	the	main	problem	with	8mm	is	that	the	whole	film	is	completely	pointless	.	welles	is	actually	selected	for	the	case	by	the	old	woman's	lawyer	(	anthony	heald	,	an	actor	who	always	plays	the	same	type	of	character	,	that	being	a	bad	guy	)	.	when	you	first	see	him	,	your	first	instinct	is	that	he's	behind	the	whole	thing	.	the	choice	of	casting	does	the	film	in	.	then	,	as	welles	begins	his	investigation	,	at	times	we	will	see	a	shadowy	figure	following	him	.	the	only	person	it	could	possibly	be	is	the	lawyer	(	or	someone	sent	by	the	lawyer	)	because	no	one	knows	welles	is	even	investigating	anything	yet	.	so	your	first	instinct	has	now	been	confirmed	.	then	,	when	it	is	in	fact	revealed	that	the	lawyer	is	a	part	of	the	whole	thing	,	he	tells	welles	that	he	was	chosen	for	the	case	because	he	was	young	and	inexperienced	(	in	one	of	those	ridiculous	"	since	we're	going	to	kill	you	anyway	,	why	not	tell	you	the	whole	thing	"	moments	)	.	but	earlier	when	we	see	welles	being	hired	for	the	case	he's	told	that	he	was	hired	because	he	comes	highly	recommended	.	huh	?	also	,	when	the	lawyer	reveals	himself	to	be	a	part	of	the	whole	thing	,	his	main	goal	is	to	get	the	film	back	.	so	why	did	he	give	it	up	in	the	first	place	?	!	the	lawyer	had	the	film	the	whole	time	,	then	gave	it	away	to	the	private	detective	thinking	that	he	would	just	give	up	on	the	case	and	return	the	film	?	!	it's	totally	absurd	.	.	.	and	this	is	the	screenwriter	of	seven	?	late	in	the	film	there's	a	confrontation	between	all	the	main	characters	,	and	after	a	struggle	one	of	the	character's	guns	ends	up	underneath	a	car	.	cage	,	who	has	been	handcuffed	to	a	bed	,	is	rapidly	trying	to	get	to	his	gun	,	which	is	on	a	table	.	james	gandolfini's	character	goes	for	the	gun	under	the	car	in	what	is	supposed	to	be	a	scene	of	"	suspense	"	.	you	see	,	the	gun	is	just	slightly	out	of	reach	from	the	side	of	the	car	he's	trying	to	reach	it	from	,	and	so	instead	of	going	around	the	car	to	the	other	side	(	where	he	can	easily	reach	it	)	he	just	keeps	stretching	.	go	around	to	the	other	side	of	the	car	!	!	this	goes	on	for	minutes	.	then	,	after	cage	gets	his	gun	,	gandolfini	then	decides	it	would	be	best	to	go	around	to	the	other	side	of	the	car	.	boy	,	schumacher	is	really	really	getting	on	my	nerves	.	i	think	the	final	straw	would	be	when	cage	returns	home	,	devastated	by	everything	that	he's	seen	on	this	case	,	and	then	is	no	longer	able	to	rake	his	lawn	!	we	actually	see	a	shot	of	him	pathetically	poking	at	leaves	in	his	yard	.	other	things	that	bugged	me	about	8mm	:	one	would	be	the	music	,	if	you	can	call	it	that	.	whenever	the	score	starts	up	,	it	sounds	like	techno	music	,	and	then	this	awful	indian	or	middle	eastern	type	music	will	accompany	it	.	awful	decision	there	joel	.	another	is	cage's	performance	.	at	this	point	he's	capable	of	a	wide	range	of	performances	,	either	good	or	bad	.	for	8mm	,	he	delivers	a	very	wooden	one	,	and	only	shines	when	he's	interacting	with	joaquin	phoenix	(	who	gives	a	great	performance	as	a	porn	shop	clerk	with	a	heart	of	gold	who	helps	cage	with	his	case	)	.	you're	capable	of	much	better	mr	.	cage	.	now	as	for	you	mr	.	schumacher	.	.	.	i'm	starting	to	doubt	if	you're	capable	of	anything	else	besides	urinating	onto	the	institution	of	american	cinema	.	r	the	jacksonville	film	journal	film	reviews	by	chuck	dowling	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	"	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	a	1999	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.
neg	these	days	,	we	are	witnessing	the	deluge	of	films	based	on	old	,	cult	tv	shows	.	most	of	the	times	,	the	fans	of	these	shows	shudder	thinking	what	could	hollywood	hacks	of	the	present	do	with	the	memories	of	their	past	.	but	,	some	five	or	six	years	ago	,	there	weren't	that	many	movies	and	the	trend	didn't	look	that	depressing	.	so	,	the	people	who	,	like	the	author	of	this	review	,	grew	up	watching	flintstones	,	popular	1960s	animated	series	about	"	modern	stone	age	"	family	,	weren't	particularly	worried	when	the	word	came	about	live	action	remake	.	after	all	,	the	producer	behind	the	project	was	steven	spielberg	and	,	if	anything	else	,	at	least	the	special	effects	would	be	good	.	the	plot	revolves	about	flintstones	,	family	set	in	fictious	stone	age	"	town	"	of	bedrock	,	whose	members	enjoy	the	lifestyle	of	1950s	middle	class	america	.	fred	flinstone	(	john	goodman	)	works	in	the	quarry	,	and	one	day	he	helps	his	best	friend	and	neighbour	barney	rubble	(	rick	moranis	)	and	his	wife	betty	(	rosie	o'donnell	)	to	adopt	a	baby	.	to	return	the	favour	,	barney	switches	his	results	of	aptitude	test	with	fred	,	and	,	based	on	that	,	fred	gets	well	paid	job	in	management	.	but	,	of	course	,	this	is	just	a	sham	corrupt	official	cliff	vandercave	(	kyle	maclachlan	)	and	his	sultry	secretary	sharon	stone	(	halle	berry	)	need	a	scapegoat	for	their	embezzlement	scheme	.	in	the	meantime	,	fred's	wife	wilma	(	elizabeth	perkins	)	must	face	her	mother	(	elizabeth	taylor	)	who	can't	stand	fred	.	on	the	superficial	level	,	the	flintstones	did	the	excellent	job	in	bringing	the	animated	series	to	life	.	computer	effects	are	flawless	,	and	the	costumes	,	settings	and	other	details	are	authentic	for	all	the	fans	of	the	show	.	unfortunately	,	problems	with	this	film	start	with	inadequate	casting	rick	moranis	is	too	thin	for	the	role	of	barney	,	while	the	cartoon	betty	used	to	be	much	skinnier	than	rosie	o'donnell	.	but	the	greatest	problem	of	all	is	plot	,	or	to	be	precise	,	the	lack	of	plot	.	some	thirty	six	screenwriters	made	sure	that	the	plot	of	the	film	is	lame	,	original	characters	one	dimensional	,	and	many	elements	of	the	story	,	like	embezzlement	and	inter	office	politics	,	totally	incomprehensible	for	the	little	children	,	the	main	targeted	audience	of	this	film	.	result	is	almost	unwatchable	mess	,	occasionally	saved	mostly	by	excellent	acting	(	elizabeth	perkins	was	right	on	mark	as	wilma	)	and	one	of	the	classic	example	of	mortal	hollywood	disease	known	as	"	high	concept	"	.	after	great	hype	,	movie	quickly	sank	into	oblivion	and	the	fans	of	the	show	returned	to	the	animated	version	.	all	in	all	,	film	isn't	that	bad	,	but	only	the	hard	core	fans	and	nostalgics	can	find	more	than	guilty	pleasure	in	it	.
neg	in	1990	,	the	surprise	success	an	unheralded	little	movie	called	ghost	instantly	rescued	the	moribund	careers	of	its	trio	of	above	the	title	stars	,	patrick	swayze	,	demi	moore	,	and	whoopi	goldberg	.	eight	years	later	,	moore	and	goldberg's	careers	aren't	exactly	thriving	,	but	they	have	had	their	share	of	screen	successes	since	;	the	same	can't	be	said	of	swayze	,	who	has	just	added	yet	another	turkey	to	his	resume	with	the	aptly	named	black	dog	.	forget	the	mortal	kombat	movies	this	trucksploitation	flick	is	the	closest	the	movies	has	come	to	video	games	.	good	truck	driver	jack	crews	(	swayze	)	must	drive	a	cargo	of	illegal	firearms	from	atlanta	to	new	jersey	.	along	the	way	,	jack	and	his	crew	of	three	run	into	a	number	of	obstacles	such	as	a	highway	weigh	station	,	evil	truckers	,	and	deadly	uzi	firing	motorcyclists	.	every	so	often	,	like	at	the	end	of	a	video	game	"	level	"	or	"	stage	,	"	the	main	baddie	pops	up	:	red	(	meat	loaf	,	fresh	from	the	triumph	of	spice	world	)	,	who	wants	to	steal	the	cache	of	guns	.	just	in	case	you	forget	his	name	or	have	trouble	keeping	track	of	who's	driving	what	,	all	of	red's	vehicles	,	be	it	a	pickup	or	a	big	rig	,	are	painted	you	guessed	it	red	.	i	could	go	into	more	of	the	plot	specifics	(	such	as	jack's	dream	of	having	a	nice	home	with	his	family	,	the	past	trauma	that	sent	him	to	prison	and	cost	him	his	trucking	license	,	the	fbi	atf	crew	tracking	the	cargo	)	,	but	they	are	of	little	importance	.	all	that	matters	to	director	kevin	hooks	and	writers	william	mickelberry	and	dan	vining	are	the	obstacles	jack	confronts	in	his	drive	from	point	a	to	point	b	.	but	they	fail	at	even	this	modest	goal	,	for	none	of	the	highway	chaos	,	as	credibly	staged	as	it	is	,	is	terribly	interesting	,	let	alone	exciting	.	once	you've	seen	a	couple	of	trucks	bang	against	each	other	or	a	big	rig	explode	the	first	time	,	you've	seen	it	every	time	.	as	dreary	as	black	dog	is	as	an	entertainment	,	the	saddest	part	about	the	film	has	nothing	to	do	with	what	shows	up	onscreen	;	it's	that	swayze	has	to	reduce	himself	to	such	work	.	while	far	from	the	best	of	actors	,	he	is	certainly	not	horrible	,	and	he	is	a	charismatic	presence	.	i	don't	know	if	it's	his	judgment	or	the	dearth	of	quality	job	offers	that	leads	him	to	involve	himself	with	bombs	such	as	black	dog	.	regardless	,	if	he	continues	on	this	career	track	,	could	a	tv	series	be	far	behind	?
neg	i	am	a	steven	seagal	fan	.	i	only	say	this	now	because	"	mufti	splenetik	"	isn't	my	real	name	and	because	i	probably	need	to	explain	why	i	went	into	this	film	expecting	great	things	.	any	proud	seagal	fan	worth	his	beans	will	tell	you	that	the	seagal	formula	is	something	you	can	depend	on	.	seagal	films	can	always	be	counted	on	for	minimal	dialogue	,	heaps	of	expendable	baddies	with	extemely	crunchable	bones	(	which	we'll	always	hear	when	seagal	does	his	limb	twisting	thing	)	,	rarely	a	female	co	lead	in	sight	(	unless	it's	a	real	life	model	wife	who	hasn't	worked	since	weird	science	)	and	,	usually	the	worst	possible	titles	you	can	imagine	.	not	to	mention	very	straightforward	plots	,	generally	all	round	bad	dialogue	and	mr	implacable	leather	face	himself	in	that	same	black	outfit	he's	been	in	since	nico	doing	his	"	my	hands	are	sharp	,	nimble	knives	"	thing	,	seagal	the	stoic	,	sir	petrified	ponytail	,	duke	of	dull	.	in	the	glimmer	man	,	seagal	breaks	out	of	this	formula	:	he	gets	a	sidekick	,	attempts	to	banter	,	and	puts	on	a	new	vest	.	he's	also	put	on	quite	a	lot	of	weight	.	small	potatoes	,	you	may	say	,	a	man	should	be	able	to	accessorize	and	banter	if	he	wants	to	,	but	damnit	,	if	it	ain't	broke	,	why	fix	it	?	(	more	on	this	disappointed	person's	dashed	expectations	later	)	.	as	jack	cole	,	seagal	is	a	homicide	detective	with	a	questionable	past	.	while	he	and	his	partner	(	played	by	keenen	ivory	wayans	)	are	investigating	a	series	of	ritual	killings	,	cole	himself	becomes	a	suspect	,	especially	when	a	background	check	run	by	campbell	reveals	practically	nothing	on	cole	.	it	turns	out	that	cole	is	a	former	trained	government	assassin	(	you	just	can't	trust	these	homicide	detectives	)	,	someone	whom	victims	used	to	catch	just	a	glimpse	of	in	the	jungle	before	he	pounced	on	them	,	and	hence	,	well	,	you	know	,	that	"	glimmer	man	"	thing	.	an	increasingly	fishy	homicide	investigation	in	the	present	soon	leads	to	the	gradual	uncovering	of	a	larger	,	more	threatening	conspiracy	that	involves	a	crooked	businessman	(	bob	gunton	)	,	cole's	former	cia	boss	(	brian	cox	)	and	deals	involving	chemical	weapons	.	the	glimmer	man	plot	is	pretty	standard	stuff	,	drawing	(	as	with	his	other	films	)	elements	from	the	hotter	films	of	the	year	(	eg	,	se7en	)	.	it's	the	other	changes	that	disappoint	.	for	example	,	although	there's	a	fair	amount	of	violence	in	this	movie	,	there's	also	the	disastrous	pairing	of	seagal	with	keenen	ivory	wayans	,	probably	the	best	known	of	the	wayans	tribe	(	how	many	are	there	,	exactly	?	)	from	television's	"	in	living	colour	.	"	wayans	plays	whiney	straightman	to	seagal's	bead	adorned	and	brocade	draped	cole	,	keeping	up	his	"	are	you	crazy	"	part	of	the	dialogue	with	wasted	zest	.	as	campbell	,	wayans	confines	himself	to	bemoaning	his	new	partner's	eccentric	habits	,	but	the	chemistry	between	the	two	is	minimal	,	and	seagal's	wooden	comebacks	make	for	painful	watching	.	a	cook	in	under	seige	2	,	seagal	is	now	a	buddhist	who	speaks	chinese	and	wears	prayer	beads	and	intricate	silk	jackets	over	his	normal	black	ensemble	.	he	chants	,	refuses	to	fight	unless	truly	provoked	and	introduces	campbell	to	powdered	deer	penis	to	cure	his	allergies	.	again	,	a	benign	(	if	trite	)	plot	device	except	for	the	fact	that	these	new	character	traits	require	seagal	to	speak	more	than	usual	.	heck	,	he	has	to	deliver	punchlines	and	carry	a	steady	conversation	with	someone	other	than	himself	for	a	large	part	of	the	film	.	is	that	a	lot	to	ask	of	the	seague	?	too	much	.	seagal's	best	characteristic	used	to	be	that	he	knew	his	purpose	in	this	already	complicated	world	of	movies	:	to	crunchily	snap	off	bad	guy	appendages	,	and	to	do	it	silently	,	and	alone	.	not	for	seagal	,	the	snappy	one	liners	of	arnold	and	stallone	,	nor	the	attempts	to	show	that	he	can	act	,	much	less	think	.	no	kindergarten	cop	,	no	oscar	,	just	simple	,	unadulterated	deathblows	.	that's	really	how	it	must	have	started	:	like	minded	fans	who	knew	what	they	wanted	streamed	in	to	watch	the	seague	do	his	thing	,	knowing	that	never	in	the	seagal	universe	would	they	ever	have	to	see	him	do	anything	else	.	we	trusted	him	.	we	got	to	know	him	.	now	,	betrayal	.	i	don't	know	if	i	can	watch	another	seagal	movie	without	that	little	niggling	doubt	that	he's	going	to	try	to	be	funny	again	.	i'll	try	,	but	it	won't	be	easy	.	if	you	haven't	watched	the	glimmer	man	yet	,	you	might	want	to	wait	for	the	video	to	come	out	.	it's	easier	to	just	fast	forward	the	dialogue	parts	and	linger	on	the	action	sequences	.	after	all	,	if	we	can't	depend	on	our	fantasies	,	what	can	we	depend	on	?	the	flying	inkpot	rating	system	:	wait	for	the	tv2	broadcast	.	a	little	creaky	,	but	still	better	than	staying	at	home	with	gotcha	!	pretty	good	,	bring	a	friend	.	amazing	,	potent	stuff	.	perfection	.	see	it	twice	.	font	hr	font	size	3d	2	b	mufti	spelenetik	is	still	a	steven	seagal	fan	.	everybody	makes	mistakes	once	in	awhile	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	for	reviews	of	the	latest	films	,	concerts	and	plays	in	singapore	,	take	a	look	at	a	href	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	.	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	.	a	bring	money	!	hr
neg	everyone	knows	that	old	rule	,	'never	work	with	children	and	animals	.	'	in	this	latest	horror	flick	mimic	case	,	it's	'never	work	with	children	and	genetically	enhanced	killer	animals'	instead	,	as	mimic	features	both	of	these	and	succeeds	in	doing	nothing	except	mildly	engaging	the	audience	.	the	film	begins	in	new	york	,	where	we	see	children	dying	from	a	mysterious	disease	,	which	is	being	carried	by	cockroaches	.	dr	.	susan	tyler	(	sorvino	)	creates	a	genetically	enhanced	bug	(	the	'judas'	breed	)	,	however	,	which	is	designed	to	kill	all	cockroaches	.	the	bug	does	it's	job	,	the	cockroaches	all	die	,	and	the	terror	is	gone	.	'three	years	later'	appears	on	the	screen	,	and	we	discover	that	the	judas	breed	is	back	,	bigger	than	ever	,	and	ready	to	kill	.	the	spin	on	this	bug	,	however	,	is	that	it	can	mimic	it's	predator	,	and	in	this	case	.	.	.	.	it's	humans	.	that	should	teach	us	for	squishing	all	those	bugs	.	what	should	be	a	roller	coaster	ride	with	bugs	everywhere	,	tons	of	gory	deaths	and	some	massive	set	pieces	instead	turns	out	to	be	a	rather	subdued	,	almost	boring	movie	which	plods	along	at	a	very	slow	pace	.	perhaps	the	movie	was	trying	to	be	thought	provoking	,	and	trying	to	avoid	the	'predator'	type	movie	it	could	easily	have	become	.	if	it	is	,	then	the	director	and	writers	have	made	the	wrong	move	,	because	this	is	perfectly	suited	to	be	an	all	out	action	fest	.	the	director	,	who	bought	us	cronos	,	a	far	superior	film	,	directs	the	film	in	a	calm	,	and	frankly	dull	movie	.	there	are	few	exciting	sequences	,	instead	just	a	lot	of	people	talking	.	if	the	dialogue	was	intelligent	,	then	it	would	be	all	right	,	but	it's	sadly	babbling	nonsense	.	in	fact	,	the	script	is	embarrsingly	weak	,	and	the	characterizations	not	much	better	.	sorvino	and	company	are	as	2d	as	characters	come	,	with	the	script	not	bothering	to	develop	them	.	there	is	some	action	in	this	film	,	but	it's	directed	in	such	an	annoying	way	,	it's	just	infuriating	to	watch	.	the	camera	cuts	all	over	the	place	,	disoreitating	the	audience	,	and	instead	of	involving	the	audience	in	the	action	,	it	merely	alienates	them	.	the	peformances	are	o	.	k	,	if	slightly	below	average	.	sorvino	is	o	.	k	,	although	she's	not	very	good	at	conveying	terror	,	or	anything	emotion	really	.	the	supporting	cast	are	all	sterotypes	,	with	characters	such	as	a	big	black	security	guard	with	a	foul	mouth	,	a	geeky	scientist	with	spectacles	,	and	what	could	be	the	most	stereotypical	mexican	'old	timer'	ever	.	their	reasonable	good	fun	,	however	.	mimic	,	then	,	may	fail	with	it's	story	,	pacing	and	characters	,	but	the	film	does	look	good	.	like	dark	city	,	mimic	is	a	definite	case	of	style	of	content	.	it	may	be	a	bit	too	gloomy	for	it's	own	good	,	but	the	sets	look	nice	,	and	parts	of	the	film	are	directed	well	.	but	looks	aren't	good	enough	to	save	mimic	from	the	depths	of	mediocre	,	somewhere	where	it	shouldn't	really	belong	.	a	good	opportunity	,	then	,	wasted	.	a	shame	.	overall	rating	out	of	review	by	david	wilcock	1998	david	wilcock	a	href	"	mailto	:	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	"	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	a	visit	the	wilcock	movie	page	!	a	href	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	a	recieve	wilcock	movie	page	reviews	via	e	mail	send	a	blank	e	mail	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	"	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	a	to	join	the	mailing	list	!
neg	do	the	folks	at	disney	have	no	common	decency	?	they	have	resurrected	yet	another	cartoon	and	turned	it	into	a	live	action	hodgepodge	of	expensive	special	effects	,	embarrassing	writing	and	kid	friendly	slapstick	.	wasn't	mr	.	magoo	enough	,	people	?	obviously	not	.	inspector	gadget	is	not	what	i	would	call	ideal	family	entertainment	.	younger	viewers	will	likely	be	taken	in	by	the	abounding	goofiness	,	but	their	adult	companions	may	feel	a	wave	of	nausea	sweeping	over	them	as	they	attempt	to	endure	this	appalling	80	minute	exercise	in	glaring	stupidity	.	the	movie	is	poorly	edited	,	grossly	manipulative	,	and	the	finished	product	resembles	somewhat	of	a	failed	jigsaw	puzzle	.	all	the	elements	are	there	,	but	the	manner	in	which	director	david	kellogg	pieces	them	together	is	laughable	and	trite	.	as	a	huge	fan	of	the	80's	animated	tv	show	,	the	first	thing	i	must	express	is	my	anger	toward	the	treatment	of	the	main	villain	.	in	the	cartoon	,	dr	.	claw	was	a	frightening	,	raspy	voiced	presence	who	remained	a	total	mystery	to	the	viewer	.	we	never	saw	his	face	;	he	simply	sat	back	in	his	arm	chair	,	watching	surveillance	cameras	and	gently	stroking	his	loyal	cat	.	as	a	child	,	i	always	imagined	what	dr	.	claw	would	appear	as	and	this	curiosity	kept	me	watching	for	many	years	.	with	the	release	of	the	live	action	movie	,	the	face	of	this	once	intriguing	villain	has	been	unrightfully	exposed	it's	.	.	.	rupert	everett	?	!	only	now	,	dr	.	claw	is	simply	known	as	claw	(	one	word	,	'	he	explains	,	like	madonna'	)	.	he	sports	a	shiny	clamp	instead	of	the	steel	glove	,	and	seems	far	less	interesting	than	the	animated	version	.	it	helps	that	the	dashing	everett	is	enthusiastic	,	but	he	overplays	the	role	entirely	too	far	.	when	all	is	said	and	done	,	this	wasn't	a	very	wise	move	on	the	part	of	the	screenwriters	the	infamous	dr	.	claw	has	been	turned	into	a	wisecracking	game	show	host	who	makes	cheap	attempts	at	being	suave	and	cool	.	he	does	still	have	his	cat	,	though	.	in	the	title	role	,	matthew	broderick	looks	lost	.	the	actor	,	while	usually	downright	charming	,	doesn't	know	exactly	where	to	take	his	character	a	fault	that	again	can	be	blamed	on	the	hapless	writers	.	broderick	first	plays	a	friendly	,	naive	security	guard	named	john	brown	,	who	dreams	of	becoming	a	cop	and	upholding	the	law	for	the	good	of	the	people	.	he	has	a	mad	crush	on	pretty	scientist	brenda	(	joely	fisher	)	,	who	has	stumbled	upon	a	new	wave	of	technology	involving	the	interaction	of	human	tissue	and	electronics	.	but	one	fateful	night	,	her	lab	is	destroyed	and	her	experiment	is	stolen	by	a	fiendish	millionaire	(	everett	)	who	wants	to	take	over	the	world	.	john	courageously	pursues	the	limousine	from	the	scene	of	the	crime	,	but	loses	the	chase	when	his	vehicle	bursts	into	flames	.	in	a	full	body	cast	,	he	is	chosen	to	be	the	first	human	prototype	for	brenda's	work	;	a	revolutionary	crime	fighting	tool	with	numerous	fancy	gadgets	to	dispatch	bad	guys	.	and	so	is	born	inspector	gadget	.	as	bad	as	this	movie	is	,	it	does	have	a	certain	charm	in	isolated	scenes	.	broderick	actually	fares	better	playing	robo	gadget	,	an	evil	and	destructive	clone	that	claw	has	set	loose	on	the	city	.	and	there	are	about	two	or	three	amusing	punch	lines	,	the	funniest	being	when	robo	gadget	impersonates	a	rampaging	monster	with	shadow	puppets	on	a	brick	wall	,	and	a	japanese	man	flees	the	scene	while	screaming	,	this	is	why	i	left	tokyo	!	'	alas	,	the	hit	ratio	of	the	ongoing	gags	is	about	20	to	1	in	favor	of	not	even	cracking	a	slight	giggle	.	there	are	so	many	tired	plot	additions	.	gadget's	talking	car	(	voiced	by	d	.	l	.	hughley	)	is	the	same	type	of	character	as	zoot	the	suit	from	my	favorite	martian	.	both	are	wisecracking	,	non	human	additions	designed	to	coax	laughter	from	smaller	children	.	well	,	it	just	doesn't	work	(	in	fact	,	zoot	functioned	marvelously	in	comparison	to	this	)	.	and	don't	even	get	me	started	about	the	villains	.	i	didn't	mind	everett's	performance	,	but	his	bumbling	assistants	will	make	every	adult	cringe	with	disgust	.	the	characters	from	the	cartoon	have	been	reduced	to	thankless	supporting	roles	.	penny	(	michelle	trachtenberg	)	and	brain	the	dog	now	have	little	to	do	with	the	action	,	and	chief	quimby	(	dabney	coleman	)	has	lost	considerable	appeal	in	the	transition	of	animation	to	live	action	.	the	special	effects	are	everywhere	,	but	not	so	annoying	they	will	cause	your	eyes	to	peel	over	.	the	problem	here	lies	solely	in	the	script	.	perhaps	the	next	time	disney	attempts	a	remake	like	this	,	they	will	invest	more	in	the	screenplay	than	the	fancy	schmancy	visuals	.	here	is	one	critic	crossing	his	fingers	,	anyway	.
neg	billy	crystal	reappears	in	yet	another	high	concept	comedy	.	he	tries	to	infuse	some	life	into	it	,	but	it	gets	bogged	down	with	sentimentality	and	a	lack	of	sophistication	.	sammy	(	billy	crystal	)	is	a	struggling	agent	at	the	end	of	his	ropes	.	he's	separated	from	his	wife	,	serena	(	kathleen	quinlan	)	,	and	down	to	his	last	serious	client	.	.	.	in	a	low	budget	film	shooting	in	romania	.	but	in	a	turn	of	bad	luck	,	sammy	wrecks	his	car	.	.	.	only	to	be	mysteriously	saved	by	a	giant	(	gheorghe	muresan	)	.	but	this	giant	has	a	heart	of	gold	.	he	leads	a	solitary	life	,	helping	out	the	monks	at	a	local	monastery	.	his	only	longing	is	for	his	long	lost	love	,	lilianna	(	joanna	pacula	)	,	who	has	since	moved	to	america	.	sammy	,	seeing	a	golden	ticket	,	convinces	max	to	become	an	actor	(	represented	by	sammy	,	of	course	)	,	and	come	back	to	america	.	and	so	sam	and	max	bounce	from	pathetic	job	to	pathetic	job	,	with	sammy	dangling	a	meeting	with	lilianna	as	a	carrot	before	max's	nose	.	but	slowly	sammy's	deceptions	begin	to	haunt	him	.	but	will	he	develop	a	conscience	before	the	innocent	max	becomes	disillusioned	.	the	humor	in	my	giant	isn't	the	world's	greatest	.	mostly	,	it	falls	under	the	category	of	"	boy	.	.	.	he's	so	big	!	"	,	and	that	can	only	go	so	far	,	no	matter	how	hard	the	talent	tries	.	still	,	its	slightly	amusing	parts	are	longed	for	when	the	movie	gets	bogged	down	in	sappy	moments	.	the	film's	best	moment	(	and	that's	not	saying	much	)	is	a	bit	part	by	steven	seagal	,	playing	himself	.	between	executive	decision	and	this	,	all	of	seagal's	best	roles	have	been	cameos	.	maybe	he	should	consider	a	change	of	work	:	steven	seagal	,	the	character	actor	!	gheorghe	muresan	isn't	a	natural	actor	at	all	,	and	his	thick	cotton	mouthed	accent	certainly	doesn't	help	.	in	fact	the	only	thing	he	adds	to	the	role	is	his	immense	stature	.	originally	,	the	concept	was	designed	several	years	ago	for	andre	the	giant	.	andre	also	had	a	hefty	accent	,	but	he	displayed	a	knack	for	comedy	in	the	princess	bride	.	.	.	something	muresan	should	have	studied	for	some	pointers	.	why	does	billy	crystal	continually	get	caught	in	these	pathetic	comedies	?	he's	proven	that	he	can	be	much	funnier	than	these	formulaic	films	allow	him	to	be	,	and	yet	,	like	a	glutton	for	punishment	,	he	keeps	coming	back	.	that	doesn't	mean	we	have	to	.
neg	directed	by	norton	virgien	and	igor	kovalyov	.	voices	:	e	.	g	.	daily	,	christine	cavanaugh	,	kath	soucie	,	cheryl	chase	,	tara	charendoff	,	tim	curry	.	1998	76	minutes	.	rated	g	(	nothing	objectionable	,	except	for	the	film	itself	)	.	reviewed	november	21	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	although	i	had	not	been	a	viewer	of	the	"	rugrats	"	television	series	,	i	went	into	their	first	animated	feature	film	,	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	with	a	positive	attitude	.	the	trailer	looked	cute	enough	,	after	all	.	after	seeing	it	,	i	think	the	words	in	my	recent	"	antz	"	review	,	in	which	i	stated	that	it	was	the	worst	film	of	its	type	since	1995's	"	the	pebble	and	the	penguin	,	"	were	a	bit	premature	.	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	is	bottom	of	the	barrel	children's	fare	at	its	worst	,	and	starts	to	make	,	"	antz	"	look	good	in	comparison	.	as	in	the	show	,	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	is	about	a	group	of	very	little	friends	,	ranging	from	babies	to	a	three	year	old	.	the	head	of	the	group	,	tommy	pickles	(	e	.	g	.	daily	)	,	becomes	distraught	when	his	mother	has	a	newborn	baby	named	dill	(	get	it	?	dill	pickles	?	.	.	.	hardee	har	har	!	)	and	is	informed	by	his	three	year	old	cousin	,	anjelica	(	cheryl	chase	)	,	that	the	new	babies	always	take	all	of	the	attention	away	from	the	other	children	.	when	the	other	children	,	chuckie	,	and	twins	lil	and	phil	,	suggest	taking	dill	back	to	the	hospital	,	tommy	goes	along	with	it	,	but	on	their	way	there	,	they	crash	in	the	forest	,	and	become	lost	,	running	into	wolves	and	circus	monkeys	,	among	other	things	.	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	judging	from	the	idea	of	being	lost	in	the	woods	,	could	have	been	a	potentially	fun	family	film	,	and	there	were	many	different	things	that	could	have	been	done	with	the	story	.	so	what	did	the	writers	choose	to	do	?	why	,	they	set	up	a	protracted	,	cliched	scene	where	the	children	almost	go	over	a	waterfall	,	of	course	!	for	the	youngest	of	children	(	ages	3	7	)	,	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	may	very	well	entertain	them	,	judging	from	the	audience	i	saw	this	with	.	of	course	,	if	you	looked	around	at	all	of	the	older	kids	and	their	parents	,	they	were	all	desperately	struggling	to	stay	awake	,	and	that	included	me	.	for	an	adult	,	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	is	a	piece	of	garbage	.	the	plotline	is	unoriginal	and	the	writing	has	absolutely	no	wit	or	charm	.	there	isn't	one	laugh	to	be	had	in	the	film	,	nor	is	there	any	excitement	.	if	anything	is	even	marginally	good	in	the	picture	,	it	is	the	bright	animation	style	,	so	it	is	especially	unfortunate	that	it	wasn't	to	service	a	more	quality	film	.	"	the	rugrats	movie	"	is	doa	from	the	start	.	i	am	all	for	a	worthwhile	family	movie	,	but	sometimes	an	animated	film	comes	along	that	is	simply	awful	.	as	said	before	,	young	children	may	like	it	,	but	even	they	deserve	better	than	this	.	for	adults	,	it	is	a	nearly	unbearable	,	excruciating	chore	to	sit	through	.	as	for	me	,	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	is	not	the	worst	of	the	year	,	nor	is	it	the	most	deeply	hated	,	but	it	is	the	most	boring	.	parents	:	do	yourselves	a	favor	and	take	your	kids	to	see	the	rerelease	of	,	"	the	wizard	of	oz	.	"	that	is	a	picture	that	contains	a	great	deal	of	magic	and	wonder	,	two	things	of	which	,	"	the	rugrats	movie	,	"	is	completely	missing	.
neg	waterworld	chad'z	rating	:	(	out	of	4	poor	)	1995	,	pg	13	,	136	minutes	2	hours	,	16	minutes	science	fiction	thriller	starring	:	kevin	costner	(	the	mariner	)	,	jeanne	tripplehorn	(	helen	)	,	dennis	hopper	(	deacon	)	,	tina	mojorino	(	enola	)	,	produced	by	charles	gordon	,	john	davis	,	kevin	costner	,	written	by	peter	roder	,	david	twohy	,	directed	by	kevin	reynolds	.	i	feel	sorry	for	the	financial	backers	of	"	waterworld	,	"	which	is	supposedly	the	most	expensive	film	ever	made	(	at	172	million	!	)	,	and	is	also	one	of	the	stupidest	boy	did	they	get	ripped	off	!	in	fact	,	this	film	is	not	really	a	movie	,	but	more	of	an	amusement	park	ride	with	a	plot	.	it's	not	even	just	another	case	of	cliches	strung	together	(	well	,	it	is	that	too	)	,	it's	something	that's	painful	to	watch	because	it	relishes	in	its	flaws	.	kevin	costner	stars	as	a	man	who	is	some	kind	of	mutant	half	man	half	fish	.	he	is	an	explorer	mariner	on	an	alternate	earth	that	is	completely	covered	by	water	because	the	polar	ice	caps	melted	.	he's	referred	to	as	the	mariner	,	but	they	"	the	meaner	"	would	have	been	a	more	appropriate	title	because	he's	cold	,	rigid	,	and	strict	and	he's	supposed	the	be	the	good	guy	!	he	docks	at	a	small	floating	village	of	sorts	.	he	trades	dirt	for	money	and	this	introduces	us	to	the	other	important	characters	.	first	we	meet	one	of	the	villains	,	then	the	soon	to	be	heroine	,	a	child	prodigy	,	a	wacky	inventor	,	and	a	group	of	primitive	people	that	somehow	have	some	of	the	technology	we	have	today	,	but	also	some	of	the	low	tech	tools	used	by	pirates	and	vikings	.	immediately	the	film's	biggest	flaw	is	apparent	:	are	these	people	primitive	or	highly	advanced	?	it	doesn't	seem	like	anyone	can	read	yet	they	have	ski	doos	and	airplanes	!	how	are	these	things	powered	?	and	if	they	have	airplanes	,	couldn't	they	just	keep	flying	until	they	reached	dry	land	?	also	,	if	the	planet	is	completely	covered	in	water	where	did	they	get	the	materials	to	make	these	things	?	i'm	sorry	,	i'm	all	for	checking	your	brain	at	the	door	when	going	to	the	movies	,	but	elements	like	these	cannot	go	unnoticed	because	they	draw	our	attention	away	from	the	story	and	confuse	us	.	there	was	potential	here	for	a	good	pirate	story	set	in	medieval	times	before	modern	technology	,	so	why	mix	the	two	together	?	it	doesn't	make	any	sense	.	there	really	isn't	much	of	a	plot	here	because	the	story	moves	so	quickly	it	never	takes	time	to	explain	anything	.	the	only	thing	we	learn	is	that	the	prodigy	child	,	enola	(	mojorino	)	,	has	a	tattoo	on	her	back	that	is	supposedly	a	map	to	"	dryland	.	"	who	put	the	tattoo	there	and	how	come	it	has	taken	them	this	long	to	figure	this	out	?	we	never	get	an	answer	,	just	a	stupid	action	movie	about	whoever	can	get	the	girl	will	be	the	victor	of	sorts	if	they	reach	dryland	.	to	make	a	long	,	boring	,	stupid	,	and	just	plain	bad	story	short	;	the	mariner	escapes	with	a	woman	named	helen	(	tripplehorn	)	and	enola	.	they	sail	for	a	long	time	,	encountering	some	strange	people	in	the	process	and	fight	off	"	the	smokers	"	as	lead	by	the	idiot	villain	deacon	(	hopper	)	,	who	kidnaps	enola	.	the	story	becomes	a	overly	grand	adventure	with	the	mariner	taking	on	an	army	of	goons	,	rescuing	enola	,	and	bringing	them	all	to	salvation	(	how	original	)	.	even	with	all	its	special	effects	,	action	,	and	adventure	this	film	is	boring	.	not	a	single	character	is	likable	,	therefore	neither	is	the	plot	.	dennis	hopper	completely	rips	off	jack	nicholson's	joker	,	while	costner	just	plain	rips	.	still	,	"	waterworld	"	is	professionally	made	with	a	good	production	design	and	an	original	idea	but	no	substance	to	it	.	i	just	hope	they	don't	make	a	sequel	!	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	140	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	capsules	.	also	,	check	out	the	first	shay	astar	web	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	a
neg	it	is	movies	like	these	that	make	a	jaded	movie	viewer	thankful	for	the	invention	of	the	timex	indiglo	watch	.	based	on	the	late	1960's	television	show	by	the	same	name	,	the	mod	squad	tells	the	tale	of	three	reformed	criminals	under	the	employ	of	the	police	to	go	undercover	.	however	,	things	go	wrong	as	evidence	gets	stolen	and	they	are	immediately	under	suspicion	.	of	course	,	the	ads	make	it	seem	like	so	much	more	.	quick	cuts	,	cool	music	,	claire	dane's	nice	hair	and	cute	outfits	,	car	chases	,	stuff	blowing	up	,	and	the	like	.	sounds	like	a	cool	movie	,	does	it	not	?	after	the	first	fifteen	minutes	,	it	quickly	becomes	apparent	that	it	is	not	.	the	mod	squad	is	certainly	a	slick	looking	production	,	complete	with	nice	hair	and	costumes	,	but	that	simply	isn't	enough	.	the	film	is	best	described	as	a	cross	between	an	hour	long	cop	show	and	a	music	video	,	both	stretched	out	into	the	span	of	an	hour	and	a	half	.	and	with	it	comes	every	single	clich	.	it	doesn't	really	matter	that	the	film	is	based	on	a	television	show	,	as	most	of	the	plot	elements	have	been	recycled	from	everything	we've	already	seen	.	the	characters	and	acting	is	nothing	spectacular	,	sometimes	even	bordering	on	wooden	.	claire	danes	and	omar	epps	deliver	their	lines	as	if	they	are	bored	,	which	really	transfers	onto	the	audience	.	the	only	one	to	escape	relatively	unscathed	is	giovanni	ribisi	,	who	plays	the	resident	crazy	man	,	ultimately	being	the	only	thing	worth	watching	.	unfortunately	,	even	he's	not	enough	to	save	this	convoluted	mess	,	as	all	the	characters	don't	do	much	apart	from	occupying	screen	time	.	with	the	young	cast	,	cool	clothes	,	nice	hair	,	and	hip	soundtrack	,	it	appears	that	the	film	is	geared	towards	the	teenage	mindset	.	despite	an	american	'r'	rating	(	which	the	content	does	not	justify	)	,	the	film	is	way	too	juvenile	for	the	older	mindset	.	information	on	the	characters	is	literally	spoon	fed	to	the	audience	(	would	it	be	that	hard	to	show	us	instead	of	telling	us	?	)	,	dialogue	is	poorly	written	,	and	the	plot	is	extremely	predictable	.	the	way	the	film	progresses	,	you	likely	won't	even	care	if	the	heroes	are	in	any	jeopardy	,	because	you'll	know	they	aren't	.	basing	the	show	on	a	1960's	television	show	that	nobody	remembers	is	of	questionable	wisdom	,	especially	when	one	considers	the	target	audience	and	the	fact	that	the	number	of	memorable	films	based	on	television	shows	can	be	counted	on	one	hand	(	even	one	that's	missing	a	finger	or	two	)	.	the	number	of	times	that	i	checked	my	watch	(	six	)	is	a	clear	indication	that	this	film	is	not	one	of	them	.	it	is	clear	that	the	film	is	nothing	more	than	an	attempt	to	cash	in	on	the	teenage	spending	dollar	,	judging	from	the	rash	of	really	awful	teen	flicks	that	we've	been	seeing	as	of	late	.	avoid	this	film	at	all	costs	.
neg	the	rage	:	carrie	2	(	m	)	.	(	mgm	ua	uip	)	director	:	katt	shea	stars	:	emily	bergl	,	jason	london	,	dylan	bruno	,	amy	irving	,	zachery	ty	bryan	,	j	smith	cameron	,	john	doe	,	gordon	clapp	,	rachel	blanchard	,	charlotte	ayanna	,	justin	urich	,	mena	suvari	,	elijah	craig	,	eddie	kaye	thomas	,	clint	jordan	,	steven	ford	,	kate	skinner	,	katt	shea	running	time	:	104	minutes	.	the	scene	:	the	offices	of	mgm	ua	studios	in	hollywood	,	sometime	last	year	.	we	are	privy	to	a	rare	conversation	between	two	production	executives	.	"	we've	got	a	pretty	thin	slate	this	year	until	the	next	bond	film	comes	out	.	what	can	we	do	to	beef	it	up	a	little	?	"	"	sequels	and	remakes	always	do	reasonable	business	.	"	"	yes	,	but	we've	already	done	the	mod	squad	,	and	we've	still	got	the	remake	of	the	thomas	crown	affair	on	the	way	.	"	"	why	not	do	another	,	but	let's	call	it	a	sequel	,	just	to	be	different	.	"	"	i	know	the	perfect	film	,	too	!	remember	that	fantastic	horror	film	from	1976	.	that	one	about	the	tormented	adolescent	with	telekinetic	powers	who	destroyed	her	school	on	prom	night	.	that	one	that	made	the	reputations	of	both	brian	de	palma	and	stephen	king	?	what	was	it	called	.	.	.	carrie	?	it's	old	enough	now	that	most	of	today's	audiences	probably	won't	have	seen	it	,	or	won't	remember	it	.	"
neg	under	any	other	circumstances	,	i	would	not	be	discussing	the	ending	of	a	film	to	the	extent	that	i	will	in	this	particular	review	.	however	,	in	order	to	fully	explain	exactly	how	and	why	this	movie	is	so	awful	,	a	minute	dissection	of	the	ending	is	necessary	.	even	though	i	will	not	reveal	the	details	of	the	last	scenes	,	do	proceed	at	your	own	risk	.	the	movie	opens	(	quite	poorly	,	i	might	add	)	as	child	psychologist	malcolm	crowe	(	bruce	willis	,	looking	like	he	was	dragged	out	of	his	trailer	at	the	wee	hours	of	the	morning	to	shoot	each	scene	)	and	his	wife	are	intruded	upon	by	one	of	malcolm's	past	patients	.	distraught	,	the	suicidal	man	(	a	cameo	by	new	kid	on	the	block	donnie	wahlberg	)	shoots	malcolm	and	then	turns	the	gun	on	himself	.	cut	to	the	"	next	fall	"	,	as	we	find	the	good	doctor	quietly	observing	his	latest	case	,	a	trouble	young	man	named	cole	(	haley	joel	osment	,	one	of	the	only	child	actors	in	a	while	i	didn't	want	to	bludgeoned	over	the	head	with	a	blunt	instrument	)	.	after	about	45	minutes	of	seemingly	unrelated	freak	occurrences	,	we	learn	that	cole	has	"	the	sixth	sense	"	,	the	gift	of	being	able	to	communicate	with	the	dead	.	and	this	,	as	they	say	,	is	where	the	healing	begins	.	the	sixth	sense	and	its	unexpected	popularity	is	founded	upon	a	twist	ending	that	i	knew	going	into	the	film	(	one	of	roger	ebert's	colleges	was	kind	enough	to	give	it	away	on	a	recent	segment	of	"	siskel	and	ebert	"	)	.	although	i	was	at	first	enraged	that	an	established	film	critic	could	so	callously	ruin	a	film	for	thousands	of	patrons	,	i	soon	realized	that	this	turn	of	events	could	in	fact	have	been	a	blessing	in	disguise	;	i've	always	been	a	sucker	for	surprise	endings	(	my	favorite	movie	is	the	usual	suspects	)	and	rarely	dislike	a	film	that	sports	one	.	here	,	since	i	knew	the	major	plot	twist	that	was	coming	at	the	film's	conclusion	,	the	possibly	of	being	bamboozled	into	loving	a	bad	movie	solely	because	of	its	ending	(	something	i've	fallen	victim	to	in	the	past	)	was	eliminated	.	and	indeed	,	my	viewing	of	the	sixth	sense	did	prove	to	be	quite	an	enlightening	experiment	.	stripped	of	the	element	of	surprise	,	the	film	was	put	to	the	task	of	showing	what	it	really	had	,	instead	of	simply	hiding	behind	a	shocking	conclusion	.	after	seeing	its	true	colors	,	i	came	to	the	conclusion	that	the	sixth	sense	is	,	despite	what	the	many	champions	of	the	movie	may	say	,	void	of	any	real	power	.	it's	a	neat	concept	,	but	not	one	that	justifies	being	made	into	a	feature	length	movie	.	in	fact	,	the	sixth	sense	relies	so	strongly	on	its	finale	that	the	rest	of	the	film	develops	as	a	sort	of	prelude	to	the	supposedly	earth	shattering	revelation	that	is	yet	to	come	.	and	when	the	final	moments	do	come	,	it's	a	huge	letdown	;	the	end	makes	no	sense	at	all	.	it	stupefied	me	with	the	heights	of	its	ineptitude	and	is	completely	idiotic	on	a	fundamental	and	very	rare	level	.	i	won't	go	into	any	details	,	but	suffice	to	say	that	,	as	far	as	i	can	tell	,	it	negates	to	rest	of	the	movie	to	such	an	extent	that	anyone	who	buys	it	even	for	a	second	must	be	suffering	from	a	very	acute	case	of	attention	deficit	disorder	.	now	,	in	all	fairness	,	i	cannot	say	for	sure	that	i	would	have	guessed	the	ending	(	however	stupid	it	may	be	)	had	it	not	been	revealed	to	me	before	hand	.	however	,	i	feel	very	confident	that	i	,	as	well	as	anyone	who	had	seen	a	few	"	twilight	zone	"	episodes	,	would	have	seen	it	coming	a	mile	away	.	the	fact	that	movie	goers	nation	wide	are	surprised	by	the	ending	still	has	me	stumped	.	ironically	,	to	fully	appreciate	the	best	scene	(	that	of	cole	and	malcolm	attending	a	little	girl's	funeral	)	,	the	viewer	is	required	to	be	aware	of	a	very	rare	psychological	disorder	called	munchausen	syndrome	by	proxy	.	i	wouldn't	have	even	known	about	this	mental	disease	if	i	hadn't	,	by	pure	dumb	luck	,	caught	"	dateline	nbc	"	the	other	week	when	they	did	a	feature	story	on	it	.	despite	being	blessed	with	some	really	amazing	cinematography	and	a	brauva	performance	from	osment	(	where	was	this	kid	when	casting	calls	were	going	out	for	the	phantom	menace	?	)	,	in	the	end	,	the	sixth	sense	is	too	chalk	full	of	contradictions	and	just	isn't	plausible	enough	to	warrant	even	a	slight	recommendation	.	find	all	of	jason's	reviews	online	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	a	complimentary	movie	ticket	courtesy	of	valley	cinemas	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	movie	tickets	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	movie	tickets	.	com	a
neg	poster	boy	for	co	dependency	needs	patchingmediocrity	is	a	pox	on	civilization	.	in	our	heavily	consumer	oriented	society	,	there	is	an	enormous	demand	to	churn	out	"	stuff	.	"	what	would	happen	to	our	economy	if	we	didn't	feel	the	need	to	have	more	things	?	to	make	us	buy	more	,	businesses	need	to	produce	a	ton	of	product	.	the	sheer	volume	of	items	necessitates	that	most	of	them	are	of	dubious	quality	.	the	film	industry	is	like	any	other	.	in	order	for	studios	to	survive	,	they	have	to	make	money	.	the	prevailing	attitude	is	that	more	films	equal	more	profit	.	some	movies	obviously	exist	only	to	put	wares	on	the	screen	and	to	do	that	,	less	talented	people	are	used	.	there	aren't	enough	great	directors	and	actors	to	create	the	number	of	films	necessary	.	for	some	reason	,	it's	never	crossed	anyone's	mind	that	the	real	equation	is	quality	films	more	profit	.	often	,	mediocre	films	are	more	of	a	pain	for	the	audience	than	the	horrendous	ones	.	at	you	can	have	a	good	time	making	fun	of	bad	movies	.	i'm	not	suggesting	that	"	patch	adams	"	was	tossed	out	just	to	rake	in	the	bucks	.	my	guess	is	that	someone	was	asleep	at	the	wheel	.	it	features	an	accomplished	actor	and	a	potentially	engrossing	story	,	but	it's	as	dull	as	could	be	.	hunter	"	patch	"	adams'	(	robin	williams	)	desire	to	become	a	doctor	has	an	unusual	genesis	.	checking	himself	into	a	mental	institute	after	a	suicide	attempt	,	he	discovers	that	he	can	help	the	other	patients	by	clowning	around	.	patch	could	be	a	poster	boy	for	co	dependency	.	he	explains	that	he	likes	devoting	himself	to	others	because	then	he	doesn't	focus	on	his	own	problems	.	he	decides	that	he	wants	to	be	a	physician	,	leaves	the	place	and	a	couple	of	years	later	enrolls	in	the	medical	college	of	virginia	.	as	a	med	student	,	patch's	antics	at	the	school's	hospital	catch	the	attention	of	his	soon	to	be	arch	enemy	,	straight	laced	dean	walcott	(	bob	gunton	)	.	the	dean	is	so	opposed	to	the	goofiness	that	he	wants	patch	kicked	out	of	school	although	he's	one	of	the	top	students	.	he	writes	in	patch's	academic	file	that	he	shows	"	excessive	happiness	.	"	i	walked	into	the	film	knowing	little	about	its	history	and	wondered	about	its	odd	mechanical	pacing	.	there	also	seemed	to	be	no	reason	that	it	is	set	in	the	early	seventies	.	then	it	struck	me	.	it	must	be	based	on	a	true	story	.	the	movie	is	an	adaptation	of	a	book	by	hunter	adams	who	founded	the	gesundheit	institute	,	a	free	clinic	.	robin	williams	is	an	amazing	actor	.	while	he	is	adept	at	dramatic	roles	,	his	forte	is	over	the	top	free	spirits	.	that's	what	makes	his	failure	here	so	remarkable	.	patch	is	exactly	the	character	he	should	be	best	at	,	yet	even	the	scene	where	he	and	another	mental	patient	are	battling	fierce	imaginary	squirrels	falls	flat	.	something	holds	him	back	.	most	of	the	rest	of	the	cast	is	two	dimensional	.	for	a	film	that	champions	seeing	patients	as	human	beings	,	it's	curious	that	the	ones	here	are	cardboard	characters	.	peter	coyote	as	a	man	dying	of	cancer	is	refreshing	because	he	seems	like	a	real	person	.	unfortunately	he's	in	the	film	for	only	about	two	minutes	.	the	audience	is	blatantly	lead	by	a	ring	in	its	nose	from	scene	to	scene	.	we're	not	left	to	our	own	emotional	decisions	:	we're	hit	over	the	head	with	them	.	shaved	headed	children	with	cancer	,	an	elderly	woman	whom	patch	makes	laugh	,	a	beautiful	woman	who	can't	love	because	of	her	abusive	history	.	when	a	group	of	students	fix	up	an	old	house	to	use	as	a	clinic	in	the	andy	hardy	"	hey	,	let's	put	on	a	play	!	we	can	use	the	barn	and	my	mom	can	make	the	curtains	!	"	mode	,	they	laugh	and	roll	around	while	painting	each	other	.	there	might	as	well	be	giant	signs	flashing	:	"	feel	good	now	!	"	"	feel	bad	now	!	"	"	patch	"	is	a	good	title	for	the	film	.	it	is	a	patchwork	of	every	manipulative	scene	you	can	think	of	.	the	full	of	life	student	fights	stodgy	establishment	types	.	there's	a	touching	death	.	then	there's	another	.	the	film	doesn't	trust	us	to	get	it	the	first	time	.	the	dean	tries	to	kick	patch	out	and	later	he	tries	again	.	worst	of	all	is	the	final	courtroom	bit	.	scary	looking	old	men	sit	in	judgment	of	a	man	who	only	wants	to	help	people	.	the	room	is	packed	with	patch's	supporters	.	williams	makes	a	supposedly	impassioned	speech	about	the	humanity	of	all	.	it	has	as	much	emotion	as	his	earlier	statement	"	humans	are	the	only	animal	that	kills	members	of	its	own	species	"	contains	truth	.	most	of	the	blame	must	be	placed	with	the	director	tom	shadyac	and	screenwriter	steve	oedekerk	.	shadyac	also	directed	the	first	"	ace	ventura	"	movie	.	oedekerk	directed	the	second	one	.	need	i	say	more	?	the	real	adams	is	to	be	admired	for	his	devotion	to	treating	patients	as	people	rather	than	diseases	.	the	film	has	a	number	of	worthy	messages	about	the	state	of	the	modern	medical	business	with	hmos	and	managed	care	.	the	"	doctors	are	not	gods	"	theme	will	resonate	with	a	number	of	people	,	but	it's	so	poorly	produced	that	no	one	will	care	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	23	years	.	after	being	inundated	with	y2k	information	,	he	thinks	that	kevin	costner's	"	the	postman	"	might	have	found	a	bigger	audience	had	it	been	released	late	this	year	.	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	"	redman	indepen	.	com	a	will	reach	him	.	.	.	probably	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	1	8	99	"	bloomington	independent	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	"	redman	indepen	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	indepen	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indepen	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	indepen	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	cast	:	richard	dreyfuss	,	jenna	elfman	,	lily	tomlin	,	natasha	lyonne	,	gregory	smith	,	carl	michael	linder	,	david	ogden	stiers	director	:	todd	holland	producer	:	larry	brezner	screenplay	:	charlie	peters	based	on	the	book	by	frank	parkin	cinematography	:	dean	cundey	music	:	bruce	broughton	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	touchstone	pictures	even	though	i	have	the	utmost	respect	for	richard	dreyfuss	as	an	actor	,	his	presence	in	a	motion	picture	does	not	guarantee	any	particular	level	of	quality	.	like	everyone	else	,	dreyfuss	has	bills	to	pay	,	so	he	occasionally	accepts	big	paychecks	for	prominent	roles	in	bad	movies	.	consequently	,	while	his	career	highlights	include	jaws	,	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	,	stakeout	,	and	tin	men	,	his	resume	is	dotted	with	titles	like	moon	over	parador	,	let	it	ride	,	and	now	krippendorf's	tribe	.	let	me	start	out	by	saying	that	krippendorf's	tribe	is	occasionally	funny	(	although	never	riotously	so	)	,	but	that's	about	its	only	asset	.	the	best	word	to	describe	this	film	is	"	asinine	.	"	the	target	audience	would	appear	to	be	recent	nursery	school	graduates	if	not	for	the	numerous	sexual	innuendoes	,	which	are	aimed	at	someone	going	through	puberty	.	krippendorf's	tribe	tries	to	be	a	zany	,	off	the	wall	comedy	,	but	the	film	makers	have	forgotten	three	important	rules	.	the	first	is	that	some	minimal	level	of	plot	credibility	has	to	exist	.	the	second	is	that	viewers	should	be	able	to	identify	with	,	or	at	least	care	about	,	a	character	or	two	.	finally	,	and	most	importantly	,	more	than	5	of	the	jokes	have	to	work	.	once	upon	a	time	,	james	krippendorf	(	dreyfuss	)	was	a	respected	professor	of	anthropology	at	little	bounderby	college	.	he	and	his	wife	obtained	a	grant	to	seek	out	a	"	lost	tribe	"	somewhere	in	the	wilds	of	new	guinea	,	a	goal	which	they	never	accomplished	.	shortly	after	their	return	from	the	failed	trip	,	krippendorf's	wife	died	and	he	was	left	with	the	herculean	task	of	raising	three	children	shelly	(	natasha	lyonne	)	,	mickey	(	gregory	smith	)	,	and	edmund	(	carl	michael	linder	)	on	his	own	.	now	,	over	a	year	later	,	the	college	wants	to	see	the	results	of	the	money	they	gave	krippendorf	(	which	he	has	spent	not	on	research	,	but	on	things	for	his	family	)	,	so	they	send	a	new	member	of	their	faculty	,	professor	veronica	micelli	(	jenna	elfman	)	,	to	inform	him	that	he	has	been	scheduled	to	give	a	lecture	on	his	findings	.	when	he	arrives	at	the	college	for	the	momentous	event	,	rather	than	telling	the	truth	and	risking	being	sent	to	jail	for	misappropriating	school	funds	,	he	fabricates	a	tale	about	a	mythical	lost	tribe	,	the	"	shelmikedmu	"	.	to	provide	video	footage	,	he	films	his	children	dressed	in	native	garb	.	soon	,	much	to	krippendorf's	surprise	,	the	shelmikedmu	are	a	national	phenomenon	.	but	one	disaffected	professor	(	lily	tomlin	)	is	determined	to	prove	that	the	tribe	is	a	fraud	.	the	only	way	krippendorf's	tribe	works	is	if	you	assume	that	all	of	the	characters	(	not	to	mention	the	viewers	)	are	dumber	than	dirt	.	unfortunately	,	it's	impossible	to	like	or	sympathize	with	a	bunch	of	putzes	like	this	.	director	todd	holland	completely	fails	to	develop	any	character	into	something	more	substantial	than	a	device	to	implement	various	dubious	gags	.	meanwhile	,	attempts	at	satirizing	the	shallowness	of	american	culture	(	i	.	e	.	,	how	easily	the	public	can	be	fooled	into	jumping	on	the	bandwagon	of	the	latest	trend	)	come	across	as	feeble	and	derivative	.	the	acting	in	underwhelming	.	dreyfuss	has	definitely	not	given	his	"	all	"	to	the	role	of	james	krippendorf	.	alongside	him	,	jenna	elfman	,	the	spunky	co	star	of	tv's	dharma	and	greg	,	radiates	perkiness	and	little	else	.	this	quality	,	while	fine	for	a	22	minute	television	program	,	quickly	becomes	irritating	in	the	arena	of	a	feature	length	movie	.	no	one	in	the	supporting	cast	lily	tomlin	,	david	ogden	stiers	,	natasha	lyonne	(	woody	allen's	daughter	in	everyone	says	i	love	you	)	excels	.	i	know	that	a	movie's	in	trouble	when	it's	half	the	length	of	titanic	,	but	seems	much	longer	.	most	of	what	comes	on	screen	is	generic	sit	com	level	material	the	kind	of	slop	that	people	will	absorb	while	dozing	off	in	their	favorite	easy	chair	in	front	of	the	television	set	.	if	there's	any	upside	,	it's	that	i	don't	see	much	box	office	support	developing	for	this	lame	,	ill	marketed	miscue	.	krippendorf's	tribe	will	quickly	become	extinct	.
neg	this	movie	tries	to	present	itself	as	the	sequel	to	jan	de	bont's	debut	as	a	director	,	1994	surprise	hit	speed	.	but	the	only	thing	the	two	movies	have	in	common	is	sandra	bullock	as	the	female	lead	.	annie	(	sandra	bullock	)	is	in	the	wrong	place	at	the	wrong	time	again	.	she's	going	on	a	cruise	with	her	new	boy	friend	alex	(	jason	patric	)	,	and	of	course	it	is	her	ship	that	is	kidnapped	by	john	geiger	(	willem	dafoe	)	who	has	a	bone	to	pick	with	the	shipping	line	.	they	sacked	him	after	he	got	sick	.	now	he	wants	the	diamonds	stored	in	the	ship's	safe	for	compensation	.	that	actually	is	the	whole	storyline	.	speed	2	could	do	without	dialogues	.	the	movie	is	all	about	images	and	remarkable	sound	.	i	don't	really	know	why	this	is	called	an	action	movie	.	except	for	a	few	scenes	that	are	vaguely	reminiscent	of	speed	this	goes	along	the	lines	of	the	desaster	movies	of	the	70ies	.	first	we	are	introduced	to	a	number	of	people	who	are	going	to	be	important	later	on	in	the	movie	.	then	desaster	strikes	.	sandra	bullock	was	said	to	have	been	glad	that	she	could	take	action	this	time	around	.	i	looked	for	the	"	action	"	but	couldn't	find	it	.	most	of	the	time	she	is	part	of	the	decoration	.	the	only	time	she	is	part	of	what	happens	is	when	she	can	have	a	shot	at	defusing	a	bomb	and	freeing	some	passengers	trapped	behind	a	fire	door	.	now	we	know	that	she	can	handle	a	chain	saw	.	we	also	know	that	fire	doors	on	cruise	ships	can	be	cut	apart	in	seconds	.	the	bomb	defusal	of	course	goes	wrong	,	but	only	the	furniture	is	damaged	,	not	our	heroes	who	still	are	needed	.	jason	patric	alias	alex	spends	most	of	his	time	flirting	with	annie	,	helping	other	passengers	and	frolicking	in	the	water	.	his	initial	sea	sickness	is	suddenly	gone	,	because	there	are	ship	,	crew	and	passengers	to	be	saved	from	evil	geiger	.	he	does	a	pretty	good	job	but	i	can't	blame	keanu	reeves	for	declining	this	part	.	then	there's	willem	dafoe	,	the	villain	,	who	desperately	tries	to	look	as	frightening	as	frankenstein's	monster	.	he	doesn't	succeed	,	though	.	an	untidy	appearance	isn't	enough	to	convince	the	viewer	of	his	psychopath	potential	.	before	he	tries	again	to	make	us	believe	he	is	a	dangerous	man	he	should	practise	for	a	while	in	front	of	a	mirror	.	i	can't	really	recommend	speed	2	.	you	will	probably	like	the	movie	if	you	like	funny	situations	that	aren't	meant	to	be	funny	.	especially	the	showdown	,	when	the	ship	first	runs	into	an	oil	tanker	and	then	dissembles	a	whole	village	is	a	treat	.	there	you	get	to	see	the	most	superfluous	scene	in	the	movie	.	in	keeping	with	last	year's	desaster	movie	tradition	a	dog	is	miraculously	saved	from	certain	death	.	a	really	funny	(	and	meant	to	be	funny	)	scene	takes	place	on	the	oil	tanker	right	before	the	collision	.	some	crew	members	watch	two	ships	colliding	in	an	old	movie	.	had	they	looked	out	the	window	they	wouldn't	have	missed	the	huge	ship	racing	toward	them	.	those	of	you	who	still	want	to	see	the	movie	should	pick	a	theater	with	a	large	screen	and	a	good	sound	system	to	enjoy	the	visual	effects	and	the	phantastic	surround	sound	effects	.	in	an	adequately	equipped	theater	it's	as	if	the	explosion	were	going	off	all	around	you	and	you	can	feel	the	seats	vibrate	.	but	the	ilm	special	effects	can't	save	the	movie	.	for	all	the	money	they	could	have	done	better	.
neg	directed	by	david	nutter	.	written	by	scott	rosenberg	.	running	time	:	83	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	strong	violence	,	sexuality	,	language	,	and	drug	content	)	.	disturbing	behavior	is	the	newest	teen	horror	film	that	desperately	tries	to	milk	a	little	more	money	from	the	crowd	that	liked	scream	and	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	.	disturbing	behavior	doesn't	hold	a	candle	to	any	of	these	films	which	in	comparison	deserve	to	be	studied	thoroughly	by	film	historians	and	placed	on	the	afi	list	.	the	plot	of	disturbing	behavior	is	so	disgusting	it's	almost	unbearable	to	write	it	in	the	review	.	steve	clark	(	james	marsden	)	and	his	family	move	from	chicago	to	get	away	from	the	personal	demons	of	an	older	son	who	had	committed	suicide	which	we	see	in	quick	flashbacks	.	these	quick	flashbacks	have	absolutely	no	point	and	are	only	inserted	to	add	gasoline	to	the	fire	that	will	be	created	later	in	steve's	mind	.	the	family	moves	to	a	little	fishing	town	called	cradle	bay	which	is	very	reminiscent	of	the	little	fishing	town	the	characters	where	terrorized	in	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	.	of	course	we	must	go	through	the	'i'm	new	here'	scenes	where	steve	feels	out	of	place	.	first	day	of	school	rolls	along	and	steve	is	introduced	to	the	gothic	,	stoned	teenagers	gavin	strick	(	nick	stahl	)	and	rachel	wagner	(	katie	holmes	of	wb's	"	dawson	creek	"	)	who	he	becomes	friends	with	.	gavin	has	a	theory	that	something's	up	with	the	popular	kids	at	cradle	bay	high	.	they	call	themselves	the	blue	ribbons	.	they	are	the	jocks	and	cheerleaders	who	have	bake	sales	and	blood	drives	annually	.	gavin	witnesses	a	murder	in	an	earlier	scene	and	this	starts	his	mind	running	.	he	believes	that	teachers	and	parents	are	mindwashing	bad	students	to	make	everyone	perfect	.	none	of	his	goth	friends	believe	his	story	and	claim	he	was	just	"	high	"	.	could	these	parents	be	purifying	the	world	?	who	will	be	there	next	victim	?	you	can	only	guess	.	you	won't	need	to	think	hard	.	well	the	next	40	minutes	is	devoted	to	chases	and	body	counts	.	each	scene	is	shot	very	dark	with	gloomy	images	and	whispers	everywhere	.	blue	ribbon	members	mutilate	people	in	large	populated	areas	and	are	not	noticed	whatsoever	.	is	this	movie	an	entire	lost	cause	.	almost	.	there	is	one	character	i	liked	quite	a	bit	.	william	sadler	does	a	good	job	as	the	school's	janitor	who	is	looked	on	as	the	village	idiot	.	could	he	be	more	?	probably	.	he	seems	to	be	having	a	good	time	and	plays	his	part	very	excited	.	this	horror	film	breaks	a	lot	of	the	horror	film	rules	that	were	defined	by	the	modern	day	classics	like	"	halloween	"	and	"	scream	"	.	they	think	that	just	showing	a	person	being	murdered	is	scary	.	what	the	above	films	do	well	is	play	with	your	mind	.	they	don't	believe	the	gorier	the	better	.	"	hey	!	producers	!	leave	us	critics	alone	!	"
neg	2000	argentina	director	:	marcelo	pieyro	starring	:	eduardo	noriega	,	leonardo	sbaraglia	,	pablo	echarri	,	leticia	brdice	burnt	money	is	the	perfect	festival	film	.	it	will	show	once	or	twice	,	and	then	no	one	,	thankfully	,	will	ever	have	to	hear	from	it	again	.	this	film	from	the	seattle	international	film	festival	2001's	emerging	masters	series	is	easily	one	of	the	year's	worst	.	billed	as	a	gay	bonnie	and	clyde'	,	this	gritty	film	from	director	marcelo	pieyro	has	its	only	highlight	in	a	well	designed	title	sequence	.	two	gay	lovers	get	involved	in	a	bank	robbery	that	makes	a	gang	leader	,	whose	plan	they	screwed	up	,	angry	.	this	causes	the	gang	leader	to	send	his	boys	out	to	get	the	gay	guys	,	one	of	whom	may	not	actually	be	gay	.	hiding	out	in	a	prostitute's	apartment	,	the	two	men	must	fight	off	police	and	gang	members	in	a	very	long	showdown	for	the	movie's	conclusion	.	if	caught	,	they	risk	losing	all	the	money	,	and	their	love	.	as	an	added	emotional	bonus	,	one	of	the	gay	men	is	dying	.	or	something	like	that	.	everything	that	happens	is	so	quick	and	confusing	i	was	completely	lost	.	clarity	isn't	exactly	this	movie's	striving	virtue	,	so	it	was	a	little	hard	to	pick	up	.	not	much	could	have	really	happened	though	.	the	main	events	in	this	long	two	hour	film	are	explicit	homosexual	and	heterosexual	sex	,	graphic	drug	use	,	extreme	violence	,	and	strong	language	.	lots	of	explicit	material	is	never	a	bad	thing	when	there's	a	reason	,	but	there's	no	purpose	to	anything	in	this	film	.	most	of	the	sex	and	violence	scenes	come	off	as	silly	,	while	the	heavy	drug	use	comes	off	as	ridiculous	and	depressing	.	it	appears	pieyro	(	who	co	wrote	with	marcelo	figueras	,	from	a	novel	by	ricardo	piglia	)	purposefully	adds	more	blood	and	lovemaking	for	his	own	amusement	.	he	makes	the	actors	as	sweaty	and	dirty	as	possible	,	makes	them	snort	cocaine	,	gives	them	guns	and	condoms	,	and	lets	them	go	.	burnt	money	is	pointless	.	the	performances	are	bad	.	it	tries	to	thrill	and	shock	,	but	only	causes	boredom	.	god	forbid	it	will	ever	get	a	distributor	.	another	disappointing	film	from	this	year's	so	called	emerging	masters	series	.	pass	on	by	.	read	more	reviews	at	www	.	moviepie	.	com
neg	when	a	film	is	produced	on	a	shoestring	budget	by	a	couple	of	hardworking	filmmakers	and	when	it	tells	the	story	of	a	genuine	tragedy	,	the	easy	path	for	a	reviewer	who	hated	the	movie	is	to	give	it	a	pass	.	toss	out	your	usual	objectivity	,	ignore	how	many	times	you	checked	your	watch	while	viewing	it	,	forget	how	unbearable	it	was	to	sit	through	,	and	find	some	meaningless	way	to	compliment	it	.	this	,	of	course	,	will	be	of	no	service	to	your	readers	,	but	at	least	you'll	avoid	the	hate	mail	from	the	movie's	fans	.	thus	it	is	with	a	heavy	heart	that	i	review	the	movie	paulina	(	not	to	be	confused	with	the	recent	movie	paulie	about	a	talking	parrot	)	.	directed	by	vicky	funari	as	a	labor	of	intense	love	she	spent	the	last	one	third	of	her	life	on	film	the	movie	blends	documentary	footage	with	historic	and	fanciful	recreations	to	relate	the	bitterly	sad	and	true	story	of	paulina	cruz	suarez	.	paulina	was	a	maid	in	vicky's	household	when	vicky	was	young	.	i	got	to	learn	the	film's	background	when	i	attended	a	screening	in	which	the	two	women	who	made	it	were	present	.	for	those	without	such	context	,	the	reaction	to	the	film	may	be	that	it	is	a	parody	of	a	bad	indie	film	.	the	acting	is	amateurish	,	the	story	is	maudlin	,	and	it	has	all	the	visual	appeal	of	a	bad	home	movie	.	grainy	and	overexposed	,	the	movie	,	shot	on	16mm	film	and	videotape	,	has	little	to	recommend	it	.	confusingly	composed	,	the	movie	jumps	about	jarringly	as	it	tells	its	story	.	quite	bloody	at	times	,	the	story	,	full	of	horrific	images	,	seems	designed	to	shock	and	repulse	us	.	why	else	would	you	include	a	scene	with	a	completely	nude	and	bloody	8	year	old	paulina	?	another	scene	has	a	teenage	paulina	being	fondled	on	a	bus	by	the	man	sitting	next	to	her	.	in	retaliation	,	she	bites	off	part	of	his	finger	.	this	covers	the	both	of	them	in	a	bucket	of	blood	.	the	passengers	on	the	bus	then	view	the	girl	in	their	minds	as	everything	from	saint	to	sinner	.	one	,	for	example	,	sees	her	as	an	aztec	priestess	holding	out	a	large	heart	that	she	had	just	cut	from	a	body	.	the	lugubrious	tale	has	paulina	being	raped	and	beaten	.	certainly	she	had	to	endure	a	miserable	life	.	but	that	does	not	guarantee	that	a	movie	about	her	will	necessarily	being	good	.	i	felt	trapped	in	the	theater	watching	it	.	only	the	opportunity	to	talk	with	the	filmmakers	afterwards	made	the	movie	bearable	.	paulina	runs	1	:	28	.	the	film	is	in	spanish	with	english	subtitles	.	it	is	not	rated	but	would	be	an	r	for	violence	and	nudity	and	would	be	acceptable	for	older	teenagers	.
neg	disconnect	the	phone	line	.	don't	accept	the	charges	.	do	anything	you	can	to	avoid	the	wretched	,	melodramatic	sisterhood	dramedy	hanging	up'	.	i	figured	i	needed	to	get	in	touch	with	my	feminine	side	,	and	hanging	up'	seemed	like	an	ideal	opportunity	to	do	so	.	the	film	features	an	incredible	palate	of	female	talent	,	and	the	capability	behind	the	camera	brought	to	mind	such	sparkling	gems	as	sleepless	in	seattle'	and	unsung	heroes'	.	meg	ryan	,	diane	keaton	and	lisa	kudrow	play	a	trio	of	sisters	who	,	once	separated	by	career	judgments	over	family	ties	,	must	reunite	when	their	father	(	walter	matthau	)	is	admitted	into	the	hospital	with	alzheimer's	disease	.	while	this	may	read	like	an	optimum	opportunity	to	rekindle	their	relationship	and	reflect	with	poignancy	on	the	past	,	the	script	by	sisters	delia	and	nora	ephron	is	exasperating	,	shapeless	dreck	teeming	with	emotional	fakery	.	hanging	up'	has	the	overall	effect	of	a	tele	marketer	pestering	you	for	two	hours	,	while	you	don't	have	the	option	of	doing	as	the	title	suggests	.	for	the	first	half	hour	,	the	ephron	sisters	use	telephone	conversations	for	a	basis	of	character	development	.	this	is	an	annoying	and	ineffective	device	.	cell	phones	ring	every	five	minutes	,	and	everyone	hurriedly	rushes	along	,	leaving	marginal	time	for	the	frustrated	viewer	to	relate	to	the	sisters'	issues	and	problems	.	if	hanging	up'	was	an	apple	pie	,	then	i	felt	as	if	we	were	getting	the	mere	crust	of	the	story	.	granted	,	there	are	a	few	genuine	and	sincere	moments	in	the	film	.	but	they	only	help	to	establish	that	the	remainder	of	the	strained	emotions	are	nothing	but	inferior	dramatic	muck	.	the	most	outrageous	strategy	in	hanging	up'	is	that	,	after	a	series	of	largely	unrealized	attempts	at	character	development	,	we	are	expected	to	exhibit	compassion	and	courtesy	toward	the	sisters	as	they	join	for	a	melodramatic	finale	.	we	are	able	to	identify	with	eve	(	ryan	)	,	the	most	open	and	caring	daughter	,	because	she	is	the	one	who	stayed	by	her	father's	side	as	everyone	else	moved	forward	to	pursue	a	impending	career	.	georgia	(	keaton	)	,	the	eldest	daughter	,	is	celebrating	the	fifth	year	anniversary	of	her	magazine	called	.	.	.	.	georgia'	.	maddy	(	kudrow	)	,	the	soap	opera	actress	,	spends	time	either	contemplating	her	possible	path	to	stardom	or	nursing	her	dog	.	ryan's	convincing	performance	and	diverting	cuteness	are	two	of	the	more	agreeable	aspects	of	hanging	up'	.	kudrow	,	so	delightfully	eccentric	as	the	off	kilter	airhead	phoebe	in	friends'	,	is	totally	wasted	.	ditto	for	keaton	,	who	is	serving	a	double	shift	as	co	star	and	director	a	time	slot	that	can	be	a	difficult	priority	juggle	.	her	frenzy	is	apparent	.	for	a	chick	flick	,	there	is	a	distressing	lack	of	chuckles	.	the	reliable	matthau	is	reduced	to	chaotic	shtick	that	,	given	his	character's	situation	,	seems	more	depressing	than	amusing	.	even	so	,	the	peak	form	of	humor	in	hanging	up'	is	represented	by	some	of	matthau's	nasty	quips	and	ryan's	eternal	battle	to	have	the	aforementioned	pooch	swallow	a	pill	.	that	about	accounts	for	the	three	or	four	chuckles	you	will	expel	during	the	film	.	my	curiosity	has	suddenly	been	tweaked	to	discover	how	such	a	promising	and	star	studded	approach	could	turn	so	viciously	sour	.	but	really	,	it's	no	mystery	.	the	predictable	,	melodramatic	filth	that	is	hanging	up'	is	certainly	not	the	fault	of	these	actresses	.	pin	it	on	the	screenplay	,	which	attempts	to	clear	up	vital	issues	in	three	or	four	minutes	,	while	spending	the	rest	of	the	running	time	in	an	annoying	flurry	of	phone	conversations	.	it's	certainly	a	far	cry	from	what	one	would	label	as	a	rewarding	experience	,	but	hanging	up'	should	have	at	least	been	enjoyable	.	uh	uh	.	it's	a	wrong	number	from	the	beginning	.
neg	inspector	gadget	(	pg	)	.	(	walt	disney	pictures	buena	vista	international	)	director	:	david	kellogg	stars	:	matthew	broderick	,	rupert	everett	,	joely	fisher	,	michelle	trachtenberg	,	dabney	coleman	,	rene	auberjonois	,	michael	g	hagerty	,	voice	of	don	adams	.	this	pedestrian	and	largely	unfunny	adaptation	of	the	popular	children's	cartoon	series	joins	those	other	woefully	miscast	,	misguided	live	action	adaptations	of	animated	series	(	the	flintstones	,	mr	magoo	)	in	the	cinematic	wasteland	.	a	strangely	uncharismatic	matthew	broderick	(	remember	his	glory	days	as	ferris	bueller	?	)	steps	into	the	shoes	of	the	robotic	sleuth	with	more	gadgets	than	a	hardware	store	,	but	he	is	clearly	out	of	his	depth	.	broderick	plays	john	brown	,	a	security	guard	who	dreams	of	becoming	a	police	officer	in	riverton	.	his	wish	comes	true	in	a	most	unexpected	way	after	he	is	severely	injured	while	attempting	to	stop	a	break	in	at	the	laboratory	where	he	works	.	brown	becomes	the	guinea	pig	in	a	revolutionary	experiment	conducted	by	the	beautiful	scientist	brenda	bradford	(	joely	fisher	)	aimed	at	creating	a	robotic	cop	.	he	ends	up	looking	like	a	cross	between	the	six	million	dollar	man	and	robocop	,	without	the	inventive	genius	of	either	!	gadget's	first	case	involves	trying	to	solve	the	murder	of	brenda's	father	,	which	brings	him	up	against	the	villainous	industrialist	claw	(	rupert	everett	,	in	a	complete	contrast	to	his	recent	role	in	an	ideal	husband	,	etc	)	,	who	creates	an	evil	version	of	inspector	gadget	and	sets	about	creating	havoc	in	the	city	.	the	less	than	cluey	inspector	gadget	gets	plenty	of	help	from	his	inquisitive	and	intelligent	niece	penny	(	michelle	trachtenberg	,	from	harriet	the	spy	)	and	her	dog	brains	.	david	kellogg's	direction	is	ham	fisted	and	unsubtle	,	and	the	film	has	plenty	of	flat	moments	,	especially	for	older	audiences	or	those	who	fondly	remember	the	'80's	cartoon	with	some	affection	.	the	special	effects	are	occasionally	quite	good	,	but	more	often	than	not	they	are	distinctly	second	rate	and	unconvincing	.	the	performances	are	suitably	camp	and	unconvincing	.	everett	hams	it	up	nicely	as	the	arch	villain	of	the	piece	,	and	almost	steals	the	movie	.	some	of	the	film's	best	lines	belong	to	the	gadgetmobile	,	the	wise	cracking	,	talking	car	with	attitude	,	whose	antics	will	probably	delight	younger	audiences	.	don	adams	,	who	provided	the	voice	of	gadget	in	the	original	series	,	gets	a	brief	cameo	here	providing	the	voice	of	brains	,	the	dog	,	in	some	nonsense	during	the	final	credits	.	admittedly	,	inspector	gadget	is	comic	book	stuff	,	but	still	some	effort	should	have	been	made	to	accommodate	those	audiences	older	than	eight	years	old	who	will	inevitably	be	dragged	into	the	cinemas	.	the	biggest	problem	lies	with	the	uneven	script	,	which	can't	seem	to	make	up	its	mind	whether	it	should	be	over	the	top	comic	book	fantasy	or	not	.	there	are	a	few	clever	in	jokes	throughout	the	film	(	such	as	the	godzilla	send	up	)	that	provide	a	few	chuckles	.	unfortunately	,	the	best	and	most	inspired	moments	come	too	late	,	during	the	final	credits	.	sadly	this	disappointing	film	is	a	case	of	no	go	gadget	!
neg	you	always	have	to	be	careful	with	the	first	official	studio	release	out	of	the	gate	each	year	.	they're	obviously	films	for	which	the	studios	have	no	great	hopes	(	having	missed	both	the	deadline	for	academy	award	eligibility	and	the	big	box	office	holiday	season	)	.	combine	that	with	howie	long's	first	starring	action	role	,	and	you've	got	a	doozy	of	a	movie	that	,	while	not	as	bad	as	it	could	have	been	,	isn't	a	very	good	film	.	howie	stars	as	an	ace	smokejumper	(	a	firefighter	who	parachutes	into	forest	fires	unreachable	from	the	ground	)	.	in	the	slightly	contrived	opening	scenes	,	we	witness	his	heroism	in	action	,	as	he	,	and	his	mentor	(	played	by	scott	glenn	)	attempt	to	rescue	a	small	girl	and	her	dog	from	an	oncoming	forest	fire	.	william	forsythe	plays	the	bad	guy	,	a	mass	murderer	who	has	several	million	dollars	tucked	away	to	help	fund	his	jailbreak	.	he	(	and	five	convict	cohorts	)	manages	to	get	selected	for	firefighting	duty	when	a	woodland	blaze	just	happens	to	ignite	nearby	.	his	escape	plan	bets	a	lot	on	the	laxity	of	the	guards	,	but	(	since	there	must	be	a	movie	)	luck	is	with	him	.	soon	the	now	escaped	convicts	are	masquerading	as	canadian	firefighters	.	why	canadian	?	who	knows	,	eh	?	along	the	way	they	pick	up	a	pretty	birdwatcher	(	suzy	amis	)	to	be	their	hostage	.	enter	howie	long	.	he's	called	in	to	help	fight	the	blaze	,	and	when	he	spots	the	group	of	"	ground	pounders	"	,	apparently	lost	,	he	parachutes	in	to	help	.	when	he	discovers	their	true	identity	,	he	is	the	only	thing	standing	between	them	and	escape	,	and	the	only	hope	of	help	for	the	hostage	.	long's	acting	talents	are	above	those	of	,	say	,	steven	seagal	,	but	not	by	much	.	although	his	delivery	is	mostly	flat	and	wooden	,	he's	a	likeable	hero	,	and	there	are	some	hints	here	and	there	that	he	may	get	better	.	the	script	doesn't	help	him	out	any	,	however	.	all	too	often	,	it	veers	into	the	realm	of	the	unintentionally	funny	.	the	dialogue	is	strictly	b	movie	material	,	and	the	plotting	relies	too	heavily	on	coincidences	to	be	believable	.	long's	co	stars	are	a	mixed	bag	.	at	least	they're	all	comfortable	in	their	respective	roles	.	forsythe	has	the	scenery	chewing	villain	down	cold	,	down	cold	,	and	scott	glenn	is	always	enjoyable	to	watch	,	even	when	he	doesn't	seem	to	be	stretching	his	talents	(	as	is	definitely	the	case	here	)	.	suzy	amis	plays	peril	pretty	well	,	but	isn't	given	much	more	to	do	.	some	of	the	nature	and	wildfire	shots	are	interesting	,	but	many	are	rather	bland	.	you'd	think	that	the	director	,	dean	semler	,	a	former	cinematographer	,	would	at	least	produce	a	film	with	interesting	visuals	.	that's	not	the	case	.	there's	a	lack	of	originality	to	nearly	all	the	sequences	.	.	.	we've	seen	this	stuff	before	.	it's	not	the	most	auspicious	start	to	1998	,	but	it	could	have	been	worse	(	just	think	back	to	1996's	debut	,	bio	dome	)	.	however	,	after	a	month	of	oscar	caliber	pictures	,	a	movie	like	firestorm	at	least	gives	you	some	perspective	on	how	good	those	movies	really	were	.	in	fact	,	there's	a	good	chance	that	some	of	them	are	still	playing	near	you	.	.	.
neg	starring	john	leguizamo	,	michael	jai	white	,	martin	sheen	,	d	.	b	.	sweeney	screenplay	by	alan	mcelroy	,	based	on	todd	mcfarlane's	comic	books	directed	by	mark	a	.	z	.	dippe	the	makers	of	spawn	have	created	something	almost	as	vacuous	as	this	summer's	other	comic	book	adaptation	,	batman	and	robin	.	both	films	make	the	mistake	of	adapting	for	the	screen	not	only	the	look	of	their	graphic	counterparts	,	but	also	their	monosyllabic	dialogue	and	empty	headed	character	motivations	.	in	panel	sized	morsels	,	implausible	plots	and	"	rambo	"	esque	dialogue	are	often	overshadowed	by	the	artwork	,	but	on	thirty	foot	silver	screens	,	it's	much	more	difficult	to	dismiss	the	shallowness	behind	the	pretty	pictures	.	spawn	is	ostensibly	about	an	assassin	named	simmons	(	white	)	who	is	framed	by	a	corporate	baddie	(	played	without	irony	by	sheen	)	,	then	set	on	fire	and	left	for	dead	.	though	the	movie	skimps	on	the	next	few	plot	points	,	here's	what	i	could	determine	:	said	assassin	then	becomes	the	leader	of	satan's	army	,	under	the	tutelage	of	a	flatulating	midget	named	clown	(	leguizamo	,	grating	as	always	)	.	he	is	renamed	,	for	reasons	unbeknownst	,	spawn	,	and	granted	a	really	cool	costume	that	enables	him	to	become	something	of	a	human	chameleon	.	but	when	spawn	spies	on	a	birthday	party	for	his	child	,	he	realizes	that	he	can't	be	the	evil	superdemon	he's	expected	to	be	,	and	he	sets	about	avenging	his	untimely	death	.	typical	of	summer	blockbusters	,	spawn	is	an	effects	laden	ninety	minute	rock	video	.	while	the	visions	of	hell	are	laughably	crude	(	think	the	virtual	reality	sequences	of	the	lawnmower	man	)	,	spawn's	prehensile	outfit	and	the	action	sequences	are	truly	something	to	behold	.	but	the	storytelling	is	completely	lacking	in	emotion	(	spawn	longs	for	his	wife	,	but	they	don't	have	a	single	scene	together	before	simmons'	death	!	)	,	conflict	(	who	will	triumph	is	not	anybody's	guess	)	,	and	believability	(	not	that	i	expected	it	)	.	so	many	questions	are	left	unanswered	,	and	i'm	sure	they	won't	be	addressed	in	the	inevitable	sequel	.	while	last	year's	the	crow	:	city	of	angels	suffered	similar	problems	with	its	narrative	(	which	was	lazy	and	somewhat	incoherent	)	,	it	had	atmosphere	to	spare	and	genuine	moments	of	hypnotic	power	.	spawn	is	an	in	your	face	,	screaming	banshee	of	a	film	;	these	guys	know	how	to	graft	a	comic	book	onto	celluloid	,	but	they	haven't	the	faintest	idea	how	to	make	a	movie	.
neg	directed	by	delbert	mann	written	by	paddy	chayefsky	(	from	his	play	)	cast	:	ernest	borgnine	,	betsy	blair	,	esther	minciotti	,	joe	mantell	.	my	favourite	film	of	all	time	is	james	mangold's	heavy	,	which	i	first	saw	on	the	day	before	new	year's	eve	1995	.	heavy	is	about	the	life	of	man	who	is	paralysed	by	a	lack	of	confidence	and	starts	to	slowly	awaken	when	he	falls	in	love	with	a	young	waitress	.	i	can	attribute	my	passionate	interest	in	the	world	of	cinema	directly	to	that	film	.	of	course	i	had	always	gone	to	the	movies	before	,	but	only	a	handful	of	times	a	year	and	only	to	see	the	latest	blockbuster	like	et	and	batman	etc	.	.	heavy	was	a	turning	point	for	me	because	i	hadn't	seen	many	films	up	to	then	which	moved	me	so	profoundly	and	actually	reflected	things	in	my	own	life	.	it	was	while	reading	through	the	many	reviews	of	heavy	on	the	internet	,	that	i	noticed	one	reviewer	referred	to	the	similarities	between	the	lead	character	,	victor	in	heavy	and	marty	in	marty	.	i	finally	saw	marty	last	night	,	having	stumbled	upon	a	copy	of	it	in	a	london	record	store	.	when	i	read	the	description	on	the	back	of	the	video	box	,	i	thought	it	probably	couldn't	be	anywhere	near	as	good	as	it	sounds	.	thankfully	,	i	was	wrong	and	it	turned	out	to	be	a	truly	wonderful	film	that	far	exceeded	my	already	high	expectations	.	marty	tells	the	story	of	a	butcher	called	marty	(	ernest	borgnine	)	who	lives	and	works	in	the	bronx	,	new	york	.	he	is	35	years	old	and	is	still	living	with	his	mother	(	played	superbly	by	esther	minciotti	)	.	they	are	an	italian	family	and	practising	catholics	.	marty	is	the	oldest	of	all	the	children	and	the	only	one	not	yet	married	.	a	fact	that	he	is	constantly	reminded	of	by	his	friends	and	customers	,	and	of	course	his	mother	who	is	desperate	to	see	her	son	married	.	marty	is	not	a	shy	man	,	like	victor	in	heavy	,	but	is	very	gentle	in	nature	and	in	his	own	words	is	a	"	short	,	fat	,	ugly	man	"	.	he	refers	to	himself	this	way	throughout	the	film	.	marty	tells	his	mother	that	he	has	given	up	on	finding	a	girlfriend	.	he	has	tried	very	hard	but	is	constantly	rejected	,	he	tells	her	,	and	he	can't	stand	any	more	pain	his	mother	won't	listen	to	any	of	this	and	urges	marty	to	go	to	a	ballroom	in	town	where	marty's	cousin	has	said	there	are	"	a	lot	of	tomatoes	"	that's	tomatoes	said	in	a	very	broad	new	york	accent	"	ta	may	tas	"	!	!	when	marty's	mother	tells	marty	this	,	it	is	very	amusing	the	way	she	says	it	and	it	makes	marty	laugh	,	as	well	as	us	the	audience	!	marty	does	go	to	the	ballroom	and	he	takes	along	his	best	friend	,	angie	(	joe	mantell	)	.	angie	is	about	marty's	age	and	is	also	unattached	.	the	two	of	them	often	spend	their	saturday	nights	together	in	their	fruitless	search	for	women	,	and	often	wind	up	drinking	beer	,	watching	the	hit	parade	at	marty's	house	!	angie	finds	a	dancing	partner	very	quickly	but	marty	is	turned	down	and	left	hanging	around	the	edge	of	the	dancefloor	alone	.	marty	is	approached	by	a	man	on	a	blind	date	who	has	found	that	his	partner	is	,	in	his	words	,	"	a	dog	"	and	asks	marty	if	he	will	take	her	home	in	return	for	5	dollars	.	marty	finds	the	idea	objectionable	and	refuses	.	quite	right	too	!	however	marty	watches	as	a	man	with	less	scruples	than	himself	takes	the	money	and	wanders	over	to	"	the	dog	"	.	this	man	takes	one	look	at	her	and	soon	decides	to	walk	off	leaving	the	young	lady	alone	and	in	tears	.	this	has	got	to	be	one	of	the	cruellest	things	i	have	seen	in	a	long	time	.	unspeakably	hurtful	.	marty	sees	this	and	being	the	good	hearted	man	he	is	,	he	goes	over	to	where	she	ran	off	to	cry	,	to	comfort	her	.	marty	talks	to	her	and	finds	out	she	is	called	clara	,	and	is	a	29	year	old	school	teacher	.	they	soon	find	out	that	they	have	lots	in	common	.	both	are	unattached	and	living	at	home	with	their	parents	and	they	both	have	given	up	hope	of	ever	marrying	.	tragically	too	,	they	both	admit	to	thinking	of	themselves	as	"	dogs	"	.	to	hear	them	both	use	this	term	is	quite	shocking	since	it	is	a	terribly	cruel	slur	that	i	had	thought	was	a	british	term	and	a	relatively	recent	one	at	that	.	to	hear	two	americans	using	this	term	in	the	1950s	came	as	a	surprise	.	much	more	shocking	is	the	way	both	marty	and	clara	not	only	feel	they	are	dogs	but	actually	say	to	each	other	that	they	are	.	they	hit	it	off	pretty	much	instantly	and	a	more	likeable	screen	couple	it	would	be	hard	to	find	.	they	are	both	so	genuine	and	decent	that	the	minute	they	meet	you	know	that	they	would	be	a	great	couple	.	they	spend	the	rest	of	the	night	talking	to	each	other	about	themselves	.	marty	and	clara	both	admit	having	had	suicidal	feelings	,	which	marty	feels	particularly	guilty	about	due	his	catholicism	.	when	clara	tells	marty	that	she	finds	she	has	been	crying	a	lot	lately	,	marty	immediately	tells	her	that	he	too	is	always	crying	at	the	smallest	thing	.	this	is	a	great	moment	.	it's	not	often	you	hear	men	in	movies	admitting	that	they	cry	,	but	marty	is	a	sensitive	man	and	not	afraid	to	admit	it	.	not	that	marty	is	a	big	girl's	blouse	!	(	far	from	it	,	we	see	that	marty	has	a	group	of	male	friends	who	he	goes	drinking	with	,	and	in	one	scene	we	see	marty	and	his	mates	sitting	around	his	house	,	while	his	friends	look	at	girlie	mags	)	.	when	his	friends	get	to	hear	that	marty	has	been	seeing	a	"	dog	"	,	as	marty's	mate	angie	probably	put	it	,	they	refuse	to	entertain	the	idea	that	he	could	possibly	be	serious	about	her	.	she	doesn't	fit	with	their	ideal	image	of	women	,	which	they	seem	to	have	been	brainwashed	with	by	the	women	in	mickey	spillane	novels	!	this	bothers	marty	who	is	very	serious	about	clara	,	and	is	obviously	miffed	when	his	friends	are	so	dismissive	.	marty's	mother	also	takes	a	dislike	to	clara	,	even	going	so	far	as	to	say	that	clara	is	unattractive	,	but	this	is	only	due	to	her	sudden	realisation	that	she	is	about	to	lose	marty	.	the	big	question	is	,	will	marty	ignore	those	around	him	and	stick	with	clara	?	what	do	you	think	?	!	(	as	an	aside	,	in	the	scene	where	marty's	friends	are	enthusing	about	the	books	of	mickey	spillane	,	the	line	"	that	mickey	spillane	is	a	great	writer	"	,	is	uttered	three	times	,	with	the	scene	ending	on	this	line	.	it	sounded	awfully	like	the	filmmakers	were	gently	having	a	dig	at	mickey	spillane	.	that	marty's	friends	were	fans	is	not	in	doubt	,	but	it	did	seem	to	me	that	the	references	were	somewhat	sarcastic	in	nature	!	)	marty	is	one	of	those	films	that	surprises	you	with	how	authentic	and	real	the	situations	and	dialogue	are	,	especially	when	you	realise	it	was	made	over	40	years	ago	.	everything	marty	and	clara	says	,	you	can	imagine	people	saying	and	feeling	now	.	i	know	this	shouldn't	be	so	surprising	,	since	people	feel	the	same	things	now	as	they	ever	did	.	the	difference	is	that	dialogue	in	films	is	rarely	as	sharp	and	perceptive	and	,	more	importantly	,	as	natural	as	it	is	in	marty	.	the	screenplay	was	by	paddy	chayefsky	who	i'm	delighted	to	say	won	an	oscar	for	his	magnificent	screenplay	.	there	were	so	many	great	lines	of	dialogue	but	one	that	really	made	me	smile	was	marty's	mother	and	aunt	saying	that	"	college	girls	were	one	step	from	the	street	"	!	marty	response	to	this	was	appropriately	contemptful	.	i	loved	the	scene	where	marty	tells	clara	that	they	are	both	deluding	themselves	by	saying	that	they	live	at	home	for	the	sake	of	their	parents	,	when	they	both	knew	that	in	a	way	they	felt	they	needed	their	parents	.	clara	hit	the	nail	on	the	head	for	me	when	she	said	she	had	avoided	getting	a	car	,	because	she	says	she	had	a	fear	of	killing	someone	in	a	crash	.	i	have	often	felt	this	way	myself	!	another	moment	that	stood	out	as	being	especially	real	and	authentic	was	during	the	scene	at	the	church	when	marty's	cousin	says	he	and	his	wife	will	sit	at	the	back	of	the	church	with	their	baby	,	so	as	to	reduce	the	disruption	to	the	service	.	it's	not	a	line	i've	heard	in	a	film	before	,	but	it	sounded	so	great	hearing	it	in	this	film	.	in	truth	,	to	pick	out	individual	moments	is	unfair	,	as	the	whole	film	is	a	joy	from	beginning	to	end	,	with	every	line	of	dialogue	sparkling	!	the	acting	throughout	is	excellent	,	but	ernest	borgnine	and	betsy	blair	are	both	exceptional	.	borgnine	makes	marty	the	most	natural	,	kind	hearted	,	genuine	man	you're	ever	likely	to	see	in	a	film	.	marty	is	a	difficult	role	as	it	would	be	easy	to	overdo	the	sentimentality	and	make	marty	seem	a	bit	pathetic	and	wet	.	borgnine	gives	marty	a	strong	character	who	is	far	from	weak	and	is	the	sort	of	bloke	who	you	would	feel	proud	and	privileged	to	know	.	betsy	blair	was	nominated	for	best	supporting	actress	(	why	it	wasn't	best	actress	,	i	don't	know	)	,	and	is	frankly	astonishing	in	a	role	that	in	many	ways	is	even	more	demanding	than	that	of	marty	.	clara	is	said	throughout	the	film	to	be	unattractive	and	this	must	be	hard	to	keep	hearing	,	for	the	actress	.	betsy	blair	is	far	from	ugly	,	but	is	made	to	look	very	plain	and	this	must	be	quite	a	brave	thing	for	an	actress	to	do	.	she	imbues	clara	with	dignity	from	the	start	and	again	,	like	borgnine	,	underplays	and	gives	an	incredibly	quiet	and	very	subtle	performance	.	they	are	both	are	so	good	it's	frightening	.	as	a	tribute	to	their	wonderful	acting	burt	lancaster	who	appears	in	a	1955	trailer	for	the	film	(	he	co	produced	marty	)	says	that	they	were	so	good	that	it	made	"	him	feel	proud	to	be	an	actor	"	.	this	is	high	praise	indeed	,	and	so	well	said	!	my	only	criticism	would	be	that	the	ending	is	so	abrupt	that	i	was	left	in	despair	when	the	film	credits	suddenly	started	.	i	couldn't	bear	for	the	film	to	end	!	the	end	credits	soon	made	up	for	my	disappointment	by	featuring	a	great	song	called	"	hey	,	marty	"	which	was	played	over	the	cast	credits	,	complete	with	small	clips	of	the	cast	as	their	names	appeared	.	a	great	end	to	a	great	film	.	i	urge	people	to	see	this	glorious	film	and	i	am	looking	forward	to	seeing	this	many	more	times	during	the	rest	of	my	life	.	awards	for	marty	year	1955	oscar	best	picture	winner	oscar	best	director	delbert	mann	winner	oscar	best	actor	ernest	borgnine	winner	oscar	best	writing	,	screenplay	paddy	chayefsky	winner	golden	globe	best	actor	ernest	borgnine	winner	director	guild	award	for	outstanding	directorial	achievement	in	motion	pictures	delbert	mann	winner
neg	hav	plenty	,	as	we	are	told	in	the	beginning	and	reminded	during	the	film	,	is	a	true	story	.	life	itself	is	a	series	of	true	stories	,	but	most	are	not	movie	material	.	as	scripted	,	directed	,	and	acted	by	cinematic	newcomer	christopher	scott	cherot	,	hav	plenty	limps	along	at	best	.	its	dialog	is	so	stilted	"	you	know	what	they	say	,	'no	women	;	no	cry	.	'	"	that	the	actors	are	content	to	read	the	screenplay	rather	than	invest	much	energy	in	trying	to	act	it	.	in	the	story	,	lee	plenty	(	cherot	)	is	a	28	year	old	author	and	teaching	assistant	.	the	movie	,	which	happens	mainly	over	the	new	year's	holiday	,	consists	of	a	series	of	incidents	in	which	various	single	and	married	women	try	to	kiss	lee	or	take	him	to	bed	.	since	he	consistently	refuses	,	caroline	gooden	(	tammi	katherine	jones	)	figures	that	he	must	be	gay	.	eventually	he	and	havilland	"	hav	"	savage	(	chenoa	maxwell	)	get	together	,	proving	that	he	wasn't	gay	after	all	,	just	picky	.	sexy	women	can	sit	on	his	lap	and	ask	him	to	go	to	bed	with	them	,	but	he	will	not	even	kiss	them	.	he's	a	man	who	knows	his	mind	,	which	he	frequently	shares	directly	with	the	audience	in	a	series	of	trite	and	overly	cute	monologues	.	filled	with	wealthy	african	americans	,	the	story	is	closest	in	tone	to	love	jones	,	which	was	better	.	hav	plenty's	story	doesn't	go	anywhere	.	at	the	end	it	subjects	us	to	lee	plenty's	new	film	,	which	is	a	movie	of	the	movie	we've	just	seen	,	but	with	even	worse	acting	.	"	remember	folks	that	,	as	outrageous	as	this	all	seems	,	this	is	a	true	story	.	"	hav	tells	the	camera	,	but	the	problem	is	that	it's	not	outrageous	at	all	or	even	the	least	bit	interesting	.	hav	plenty	isn't	so	much	a	bad	film	as	it	is	a	total	waste	of	the	audience's	time	.	hav	plenty	runs	1	:	32	.	it	is	rated	r	for	profanity	and	would	be	fine	for	most	teenagers	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	writer	director	lawrence	kasdan	had	a	hand	in	penning	some	of	the	biggest	film	successes	of	the	1980s	.	yes	,	that's	right	,	he	co	wrote	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	(	9	10	)	,	the	empire	strikes	back	(	8	.	5	10	)	and	return	of	the	jedi	(	8	10	)	.	now	with	this	film	,	it	looks	as	though	he	has	decided	to	test	his	skills	at	mediocre	screenwriting	and	bland	directing	.	and	guess	what	?	he	succeeds	once	again	!	plot	:	a	man	with	a	shady	and	regrettable	past	decides	to	run	away	and	into	a	small	american	town	,	where	he	pretends	to	be	a	licensed	psychologist	to	an	open	armed	swarm	of	people	with	problems	.	it	isn't	long	before	he	befriends	the	small	town	billionaire	,	folks	become	suspicious	and	he	falls	for	one	of	his	own	patients	.	critique	:	this	film	is	not	a	comedy	!	it	is	a	drama	.	i	say	this	right	up	front	because	from	the	looks	of	the	trailer	,	you	would	think	that	this	film	secures	its	base	in	humor	,	but	unfortunately	for	us	,	it	does	not	.	it	is	a	serious	film	(	seriously	flawed	if	you	ask	me	,	but	i	digress	)	which	offers	a	couple	of	witty	quips	to	keep	you	awake	,	but	overall	,	just	sits	there	.	now	on	to	my	review	.	this	movie	sucks	because	it	was	slow	and	boring	,	starred	an	uninteresting	protagonist	with	an	unbelievable	past	,	included	extremely	dull	patients	whose	problems	left	me	indifferent	at	best	and	pissed	at	worst	,	and	certified	it	all	with	many	a	predictable	ending	.	i	have	no	idea	what	lawrence	kasdan	was	trying	to	accomplish	with	this	picture	,	but	whatever	it	was	.	.	.	he	missed	!	anyone	without	his	name	could	never	have	made	this	film	because	it	is	an	extremely	generic	puff	piece	,	which	on	a	good	day	,	might	be	described	as	predictably	digestible	.	it's	no	wonder	that	the	studio	is	trying	to	sell	it	as	a	comedy	!	it	sucks	as	a	drama	,	and	bored	my	movie	cohort	right	to	sleep	.	i've	given	it	four	points	on	four	extremely	shallow	yet	distinguishable	marks	.	first	of	all	,	i	couldn't	help	but	think	about	how	much	the	lead	actor	,	loren	dean	,	looked	like	a	young	charles	grodin	.	he	even	acted	like	him	,	save	for	the	dry	,	sardonic	wit	.	this	kept	me	interested	in	watching	him	at	least	.	number	two	,	and	this	one	is	really	shallow	(	seemed	to	be	geared	that	way	as	well	)	,	there	were	quite	a	few	"	titshots	"	,	as	they	would	say	back	in	high	school	.	and	god	help	me	if	i	can't	get	enough	of	those	in	an	aimless	drama	.	and	three	,	and	this	one	surprised	me	the	most	,	actor	ted	danson's	cameo	(	yes	,	he	will	always	be	sam	malone	to	us	real	fans	!	)	was	the	best	part	about	this	movie	and	actually	made	me	see	him	as	a	different	person	.	a	different	asshole	,	but	a	different	person	nonetheless	.	if	ever	you	rent	this	movie	one	day	(	promise	you	won't	throw	away	your	hard	earned	money	at	the	theaters	?	!	)	,	wait	for	his	scene	because	it's	actually	pretty	good	.	other	than	that	,	drab	,	drab	,	drab	and	drab	.	even	jason	lee	,	a	personal	favorite	of	mine	,	was	left	out	to	dry	with	lame	dialogue	and	one	of	the	phoniest	romances	to	hit	the	big	screen	in	a	while	.	well	,	at	least	he	finally	"	came	out	"	and	did	some	real	skateboarding	in	this	movie	!	oh	yeah	,	and	i	guess	that's	the	fourth	point	in	my	rating	.	anyway	,	if	you	enjoy	watching	boring	patients	babble	on	about	their	boring	problems	to	an	uninteresting	psychologist	.	.	.	this	film's	your	bag	!	otherwise	,	skip	it	and	see	analyze	this	(	8	10	)	again	.	.	.	now	there's	a	great	shrink	movie	!	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	"	three's	company	"	fans	alert	!	!	!	terri	from	the	tv	show	,	also	known	as	actress	priscilla	barnes	,	plays	a	small	but	pivotal	part	as	the	landlady	in	this	film	.	the	scene	is	actually	a	fantasy	sequence	and	does	feature	cleavage	,	so	stay	tuned	,	kids	!	also	,	it	is	to	note	that	the	actress	was	once	named	"	penthouse	pet	of	the	month	"	in	march	of	1976	.	she	was	known	as	one	joann	witty	back	then	.	she's	originally	from	jersey	.	who	the	hell	is	loren	dean	,	the	dude	who	plays	mumford	in	this	film	?	you	got	me	,	but	all	i	know	is	that	he	was	born	in	las	vegas	in	1969	and	played	the	character	of	billy	bathgate	in	the	1991	film	of	the	same	name	.	jason	lee	was	born	in	the	state	of	california	in	the	year	of	1971	.	he	was	a	professional	skateboarder	before	his	acting	career	took	off	after	mallrats	(	6	10	)	,	and	even	owns	his	own	skateboarding	company	called	stereo	manufacturing	corp	.	he's	been	in	every	kevin	smith	film	except	for	clerks	(	8	.	5	10	)	.	listen	closely	and	you	will	hear	the	pharmacist	in	this	film	(	the	ballooning	actor	formerly	known	as	pruit	taylor	vince	)	make	a	reference	to	the	"	lost	ark	"	,	which	is	obviously	an	in	joke	,	considering	that	it	is	the	writer	director	of	this	film	,	lawrence	kasdan	,	who	co	wrote	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	(	9	10	)	.	kasdan	also	played	the	part	of	dr	.	green	in	1997's	as	good	as	it	gets	(	8	10	)	.	ted	danson	also	played	the	role	of	lawyer	peter	lowenstein	in	kasdan's	1981	directorial	debut	body	heat	starring	a	sexy	kathleen	turner	and	william	hurt	.
neg	"	pokemon	3	:	the	movie	"	has	a	lot	of	bad	things	in	it	.	first	of	all	it's	a	plot	heavy	mess	that	has	bad	voice	talents	,	badly	written	script	and	fantastic	animation	.	the	first	film	came	out	the	end	of	1999	and	was	a	huge	hit	grossing	almost	90	million	domestically	.	a	sequel	soon	followed	and	even	made	45	million	.	warner	has	released	their	third	movie	based	on	the	immensely	popular	video	game	and	tv	series	and	its	a	waste	of	time	and	celluloid	.	this	time	ash	ketchum	and	his	friends	are	on	their	way	to	the	johto	battles	(	which	my	little	brother	told	me	the	new	spinoff	is	"	pokemon	:	the	johto	journeys	"	so	go	figure	)	anyway	he	comes	in	contact	with	a	young	girl	who's	father	has	disappeared	after	trying	to	discover	the	unown	.	they	are	small	pokemon	with	a	powerful	punch	and	have	great	psychic	abilities	.	the	unown	bring	together	their	psychic	abilities	and	create	entei	a	powerful	legendary	pokemon	who	barriers	young	molly's	house	and	creates	every	wish	she	wants	.	now	it's	up	to	ash	and	his	friends	to	stop	this	pokemon	entei	and	show	him	to	be	a	good	pokemon	rather	than	a	bad	one	.	too	bad	really	that	this	is	a	bad	movie	,	surprisingly	the	first	movie	was	entertaining	and	somewhat	absorbing	,	the	second	was	a	piece	of	trash	and	this	one	is	almost	in	between	.	it	has	some	good	qualities	(	animation	,	message	in	the	end	)	but	the	flaws	seem	to	overpower	the	goods	.	i'm	still	not	sure	what	the	big	thing	is	about	pokemon	,	they	are	ugly	little	animals	who	speak	their	own	name	for	their	language	(	besides	meowth	,	my	personal	favorite	)	and	you	don't	understand	what	they	are	saying	.	my	little	brother	just	thought	the	movie	was	amazing	,	and	i	kept	leaning	over	and	asking	him	happened	,	or	what	pokemon	that	was	.	his	response	was	a	big	lecture	of	how	this	is	that	,	and	that	is	this	.	.	.	he	sure	did	put	me	in	my	place	.	with	the	second	and	third	movie	being	bad	,	i	have	a	feeling	pokemon	4	:	the	movie	might	be	a	total	bust	as	well	.	"	pokemon	3	:	the	movie	"	has	some	redeeming	qualities	for	the	kids	,	and	the	pokemon	fans	will	dig	every	minute	of	this	film	.	for	those	parents	and	or	brothers	and	sisters	who	have	to	sit	through	this	.	.	.	bring	a	pillow	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	4	11	01	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	brandon	herring	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	brandon	herring	a
neg	the	haunting	starring	liam	neeson	,	catherine	zeta	jones	and	lili	taylor	the	haunting	,	a	film	so	confusing	that	it	forgets	the	true	meaning	of	a	horror	film	:	to	scare	us	.	if	you've	ever	seen	a	movie	,	which	you	probably	have	considering	you	are	on	this	website	,	you	should	know	about	all	of	the	trivia	they	post	before	a	movie	.	they	have	things	like	illustrations	and	you	have	to	guess	the	movie	or	facts	about	the	film	.	but	,	the	one	i	always	like	are	the	quot	;	other	name	quot	;	joke	that	try	and	rename	a	particular	film	.	for	instance	,	the	one	playing	before	the	haunting	had	different	titles	for	the	film	,	small	soldiers	.	they	had	titles	like	little	infantry	and	can	i	get	those	fatigues	in	a	smaller	size	?	well	,	after	seeing	the	haunting	,	i	had	a	few	particular	names	for	it	as	well	.	unfortunately	,	i	can	only	post	one	of	them	,	otherwise	,	i'd	be	getting	some	pretty	angry	e	mails	from	overprotective	mothers	.	that	title	would	be	the	confusing	.	ok	,	that	is	a	pretty	bad	title	,	but	it	fits	this	film	perfectly	.	it	basically	serves	up	no	purpose	,	and	combined	with	dry	dialogue	and	a	boring	and	confusing	plot	,	it	completes	the	formula	for	a	cinematic	bomb	.	liam	neeson	once	again	gets	wrapped	up	in	a	film	without	any	depth	,	but	at	least	the	phantom	menace	was	exciting	and	had	some	depth	.	the	haunting	is	nothing	but	trash	,	but	unfortunately	,	will	still	make	a	boatload	of	money	.	before	i	rant	and	rave	about	how	bad	this	film	is	,	let	me	point	out	the	few	,	and	i	stress	the	word	few	,	bright	spots	in	this	film	.	first	,	the	house	is	great	looking	.	it	looks	beautiful	,	but	this	is	also	a	dark	spot	.	it	looks	so	great	that	it	is	hard	to	be	frightened	by	it	.	this	is	something	that	rears	its	ugly	head	at	all	points	of	the	film	.	things	look	so	great	,	that	you	are	looking	on	in	awe	instead	of	being	scared	straight	.	haunted	house	films	have	to	contain	one	element	to	even	be	slightly	successful	and	that	is	being	eerie	.	the	hill	house	is	not	eerie	.	it	is	beautiful	,	but	not	the	least	bit	frightening	.	ever	heard	of	lili	taylor	?	before	this	film	i	did	not	,	but	i	am	glad	that	i	do	now	.	she	gives	the	only	satisfactory	performance	in	the	film	.	despite	the	dry	dialogue	and	boring	confusing	concept	,	she	manages	to	light	up	the	screen	every	time	she	appears	,	but	unfortunately	,	her	co	stars	are	usually	following	right	behind	.	owen	wilson	,	who	plays	luke	,	is	the	only	other	cast	member	even	close	to	giving	an	admirable	performance	,	other	then	taylor	.	he	is	basically	there	for	the	comic	relief	,	and	his	character	development	is	poor	in	all	other	areas	.	all	of	the	characters	are	desperately	underdeveloped	.	wilson	had	potential	as	luke	,	but	it	seems	they	just	needed	him	to	add	a	few	laughs	.	liam	neeson	and	catherine	zeta	jones	suffer	from	the	dialogue	and	plot	and	should	not	have	been	in	this	film	.	their	characters	must	suffer	from	wicked	mood	swings	because	in	each	scene	they	turn	from	ruthless	to	compassionate	to	scared	to	brave	and	whatnot	.	they	just	are	not	believable	and	this	is	the	final	nail	in	the	haunting's	coffin	.	the	plot	is	terrible	.	the	opening	scene	of	the	film	is	very	important	,	but	the	director	makes	it	too	obvious	by	getting	close	ups	of	all	the	things	that	will	play	a	major	role	in	the	end	of	the	film	.	as	i	sat	through	the	film	,	i	kept	wondering	what	this	film	was	trying	to	accomplish	.	nell	,	lili	taylor's	character	,	goes	from	the	hunted	to	the	savior	.	it	makes	no	sense	and	the	director	gives	the	audience	no	reasoning	for	the	ridiculous	changes	that	take	place	in	the	film	.	he	forces	the	viewer	to	make	various	assumptions	and	does	not	give	any	in	depth	information	.	for	instance	,	the	beginning	of	the	film	gives	us	a	sense	of	why	nell	is	getting	involved	in	the	program	.	but	,	we	get	zilch	for	the	other	four	.	plus	,	two	of	them	get	wiped	out	in	the	first	ten	minutes	.	and	the	worst	part	:	most	horror	films	have	killings	.	for	some	reason	,	they	kill	off	luke	at	the	end	of	the	film	.	no	reason	whatsoever	,	just	off	with	his	head	,	literally	.	overall	,	the	haunting	is	the	epitome	of	a	bad	movie	.	bad	plot	,	confusing	storyline	and	a	waste	of	good	talent	.	hopefully	,	liam	neeson	can	rebound	and	get	into	a	good	film	and	be	used	to	his	full	potential	.	hopefully	,	lili	taylor	will	be	recognized	for	doing	such	a	great	job	in	such	a	bad	film	.	and	hopefully	,	other	horror	films	,	such	as	the	blair	witch	project	and	the	haunting	of	hill	house	,	will	not	be	as	bad	as	this	one	.	rating	:	1	stars	out	of	4	stars	the	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	jump	.	to	moviepage	"	http	:	jump	.	to	moviepage	a	reviews	,	previews	,	news	and	so	much	more	!
neg	cast	:	jeff	bridges	,	nick	notle	,	sharon	stone	,	catherine	keener	director	:	matthew	warchus	producer	(	s	)	:	jean	franois	fonlupt	,	dan	lupovitz	,	timm	oberwelland	an	affluent	horse	breeder's	past	comes	up	to	haunt	him	;	an	ages	old	cover	up	and	blackmail	comes	back	to	haunt	him	at	the	hands	of	one	of	his	accomplices	.	that's	pretty	much	the	essence	of	the	movie	and	i	have	to	say	that	it	becomes	quite	boring	at	times	and	is	very	slow	.	that	aside	the	story	was	well	presented	and	probably	quite	close	and	representative	of	its	source	.	the	acting	in	particular	i	found	very	good	,	the	character	development	was	also	quite	interesting	but	alas	the	story	simply	did	not	hold	my	interest	enough	for	me	to	get	into	the	movie	.	a	few	things	about	the	story	didn't	sit	very	well	with	me	for	example	the	original	scam	and	cover	up	heavily	involved	the	character	played	by	sharon	stone	,	yet	in	the	end	her	character	played	a	relatively	small	role	and	it	seems	she	should	have	been	utilized	more	to	further	the	story	along	better	.	on	the	flip	side	the	character	played	by	catherine	keener	i	found	to	be	very	interesting	and	i	thought	that	it	was	developed	very	well	and	helped	the	story	a	lot	.	the	character's	aside	this	movie	had	some	interesting	merits	but	in	the	end	it	lacked	in	story	and	pacing	.	as	far	as	the	acting	and	casting	for	this	movie	is	concerned	i	have	to	say	that	the	choices	of	nick	nolte	and	jeff	bridges	were	great	as	well	as	that	of	catherine	keener	.	all	these	people	acted	their	parts	admirably	,	as	for	the	part	that	sharon	stone	played	,	she	played	it	well	but	the	part	was	not	utilized	enough	.	the	directing	for	this	movie	is	something	that	i	have	to	comment	on	because	for	once	in	a	long	while	you	see	a	director	actually	add	a	very	distinctive	flavor	to	a	movie	,	this	is	one	of	those	occasions	.	matthew	warchus	in	my	opinion	added	an	interesting	touch	and	spin	to	the	movie	and	i	think	he	tackled	a	touch	subject	(	i	myself	wouldn't	be	able	to	look	at	horseracing	and	make	a	movie	out	of	it	)	.	there	is	a	certain	flavor	about	this	movie	and	i	think	that	the	direction	of	the	movie	is	the	reason	for	this	.	the	one	flaw	that	i	do	have	to	comment	on	is	the	pacing	,	the	subject	matter	in	my	opinion	wasn't	interesting	enough	on	its	own	to	have	this	kind	of	flavoring	and	directorial	touch	about	it	.	i	certainly	hope	that	the	director	makes	more	movies	as	this	does	show	promise	even	if	i	myself	don't	like	it	.	all	in	all	i	found	this	movie	boring	and	very	slow	,	the	acting	was	good	but	the	story	just	didn't	evolve	enough	and	wasn't	captivating	enough	to	make	simpatico	an	enjoyable	movie	to	watch	.	although	there	is	much	going	for	the	movie	i	didn't	find	it	good	even	though	i	see	the	merits	and	style	used	and	can	compliment	the	movie	on	them	.	i	wouldn't	recommend	this	movie	to	anyone	but	if	you	are	a	horse	fanatic	or	a	racing	fanatic	then	you	will	most	likely	enjoy	this	movie	.	february	27	,	2000	for	any	comments	i	can	be	reached	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bootsector	hotmail	.	com	"	bootsector	hotmail	.	com	a
neg	you	don't	look	at	a	ren	magritte	painting	and	search	for	a	deeper	meaning	.	you	likewise	don't	look	at	one	for	88	minutes	straight	.	surrealist	works	are	notable	for	their	quirks	,	and	they	are	fun	,	but	looking	at	one	quirk	for	an	hour	and	a	half	is	exhausting	.	that	was	my	experience	with	i	woke	up	early	the	day	i	died	,	a	surrealistic	,	hyperactive	comedy	with	no	dialogue	.	it's	not	a	silent	movie	;	there	is	lots	of	atmospheric	music	,	occasional	screams	and	weird	sound	effects	,	but	nobody	ever	utters	an	audible	word	.	though	the	film	is	distinctive	,	its	unique	style	wore	thin	after	about	20	minutes	,	and	as	it	progressed	,	watching	became	a	chore	.	the	only	reason	the	script	ever	got	filmed	is	because	it	was	written	by	the	pseudo	legendary	ed	wood	,	the	man	behind	such	"	classics	"	as	plan	9	from	outer	space	and	night	of	the	ghouls	.	the	joke	,	of	course	,	is	that	his	films	are	so	bad	,	they're	good	;	so	humorous	in	their	inanity	that	they	become	hits	.	i	woke	up	early	the	day	i	died	,	unfortunatly	,	is	so	bad	that	it's	really	bad	.	it	stars	billy	zane	(	titanic	)	as	a	dangerous	lunatic	who	overpowers	a	nurse	,	escapes	from	a	mental	hospital	and	proceeds	to	wonder	around	,	stealing	a	car	,	clothes	,	and	a	load	of	money	.	our	thief	reaches	a	cemetery	,	where	he	witnesses	a	bizarre	ritual	.	he	falls	asleep	and	finds	himself	,	literally	,	in	a	hole	,	with	his	money	gone	.	for	whatever	reason	,	he	is	bent	on	getting	his	hard	unearned	cash	back	(	considering	how	easily	he	stole	it	the	first	time	,	why	didn't	he	just	go	steal	some	more	?	)	.	he	comes	upon	a	list	of	the	people	who	were	at	the	mysterious	ceremony	and	commences	to	seek	out	each	of	them	and	kill	them	if	they	don't	have	what	he	is	looking	for	.	i	don't	think	either	director	aris	iliopulos	nor	ed	wood	realized	that	this	would	have	made	a	glorious	20	minute	short	.	the	subject	and	the	style	seem	to	have	been	made	for	it	.	unfortunately	,	twenty	minutes	worth	of	material	is	stretched	out	to	more	than	four	times	that	length	,	and	the	film	simply	overstays	its	already	dubious	welcome	.	it	grabbed	my	attention	in	the	beginning	and	gradually	lost	it	as	it	went	on	,	up	to	the	point	where	halfway	through	i	was	already	weary	.	it	might	seem	odd	that	a	film	as	furiously	paced	as	this	one	can	be	so	tedious	;	but	the	surprise	will	wear	off	when	you	consider	how	repetitive	it	is	.	i	woke	up	early	the	day	i	died	is	a	comedy	,	i	guess	,	though	it	could	have	fooled	me	.	unlike	most	ed	wood	films	,	this	one	tries	to	be	funny	and	fails	,	instead	of	the	other	way	around	.	there's	nothing	inherently	wrong	with	that	,	in	fact	,	i	think	it	would	only	make	sense	for	someone	who	has	been	so	"	good	"	at	making	unintentional	comedies	to	take	a	stab	at	a	real	one	.	whether	wood	actually	went	for	comedy	in	his	script	we'll	never	know	,	but	in	either	case	,	this	is	a	failure	.	jonathan	taylor	thomas	,	christina	ricci	,	summer	phoenix	,	john	ritter	and	others	show	up	for	short	and	pointless	cameos	.	ricci	,	for	example	,	plays	a	prostitute	.	her	role	consists	of	dancing	around	with	zane	in	his	motel	room	and	then	being	thrown	out	.	thomas	is	an	astonished	onlooker	as	a	woman	gets	thrown	off	a	cliff	.	was	the	home	improvement	teen	heartthrob	really	that	desperate	for	work	?	zane	,	meanwhile	,	occupies	himself	by	making	weird	faces	at	the	camera	when	he	is	not	called	upon	to	run	around	wildly	and	beat	people	up	.	lack	of	dialogue	makes	him	the	ultimate	caricature	.	the	carnival	side	show	climax	manages	to	demonstrate	everything	that	is	wrong	with	this	no	budget	production	.	it's	desperately	unfunny	,	but	thinks	it's	the	funniest	thing	since	plan	9	;	,	it's	so	spontaneously	surrealistic	it	makes	your	head	spin	all	while	being	confusing	enough	to	make	your	head	spin	twice	as	fast	in	the	other	direction	.	i	hope	another	film	is	made	from	an	ed	wood	screenplay	for	i	woke	up	early	the	day	i	died	is	not	a	fitting	send	off	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
neg	tom	dicillo	directs	this	superficial	comedy	about	superficial	people	in	superficial	careers	,	all	searching	for	deeper	meaning	.	however	,	they	won't	find	much	meaning	in	the	real	blonde	,	and	not	enough	real	humor	,	either	.	joe	(	matthew	modine	)	is	a	struggling	actor	,	or	he	claims	to	be	one	,	even	though	he	has	no	credits	under	his	belt	.	his	girlfriend	,	mary	(	catherine	keener	)	has	no	pretensions	about	her	career	:	she's	a	makeup	artist	,	working	for	the	eccentric	fashion	photographer	blair	(	marlo	thomas	)	and	supermodel	of	the	month	,	sahara	(	bridgette	wilson	)	.	sahara	,	who	has	acquired	a	new	age	spirituality	from	repeated	viewing	of	the	little	mermaid	,	has	an	on	again	,	off	again	relationship	with	joe's	best	friend	,	bob	(	maxwell	caulfield	)	.	however	,	bob	has	gotten	his	biggest	break	yet	:	a	starring	role	on	a	soap	opera	opposite	the	beautiful	kelly	(	daryl	hannah	)	,	who	may	be	that	illusive	woman	he's	always	pursued	:	a	real	blonde	.	there	are	some	moments	of	good	humor	in	the	real	blonde	,	but	not	enough	.	the	best	stuff	is	in	throwaway	details	in	the	background	,	such	as	sahara's	perfume	ads	:	"	depression	it's	not	just	a	state	of	mind	"	.	but	to	find	humor	in	the	superficiality	of	models	and	actors	is	to	shoot	fish	in	a	barrel	.	and	,	unfortunately	,	the	film's	forays	outside	the	realm	of	comedy	are	pathetic	.	take	for	example	the	film's	framing	device	of	an	old	lady	and	her	dog	.	the	story	serves	absolutely	no	purpose	,	makes	little	sense	,	and	is	completely	tangential	to	the	main	plotlines	of	the	movie	.	matthew	modine	and	catherine	keener	have	the	most	sympathetic	characters	in	the	film	,	but	they're	stuck	in	the	most	boring	plotlines	.	modine	whines	and	complains	and	would	be	completely	pathetic	if	he	was	matched	against	someone	stronger	than	elizabeth	berkley	,	who	appears	as	another	struggling	actor	.	keener's	character	has	a	stronger	edge	,	but	the	insult	self	defense	class	(	taught	by	denis	leary	,	no	less	)	she	is	stuck	in	makes	little	sense	.	the	movie's	running	time	is	under	two	hours	,	but	it	seems	like	it	is	well	over	it	.	there's	just	not	enough	humor	to	speed	things	along	,	and	not	enough	meaning	to	propel	any	drama	.
neg	what	a	tough	sell	this	film	must	have	been	:	documenting	the	development	of	an	engineering	device	that	would	automate	the	fixing	of	broken	steam	piping	underground	at	the	flip	of	a	switch	.	set	against	the	backdrop	of	other	advances	in	technology	,	with	a	focus	on	what	robotics	has	done	for	humans	so	far	,	w	.	i	.	s	.	o	.	r	.	may	be	smart	,	but	does	anyone	care	?	of	course	,	we're	supposed	to	care	.	after	all	,	steam	pipes	burst	all	the	time	,	flooding	streets	,	exploding	buildings	,	killing	innocent	people	,	and	causing	nasty	traffic	jams	.	these	pipes	date	back	to	the	early	20th	century	and	it's	time	they	got	updated	to	the	rest	of	civilization	.	so	conedison	(	purveyor	of	gas	and	electricity	in	new	york	city	)	set	honeybee	robotics	to	the	task	of	creating	a	device	that	would	weld	ruptures	in	underground	systems	with	help	of	a	human	interface	.	it's	no	small	feat	,	as	it's	never	been	done	before	,	so	there	are	no	predecessors	to	work	from	,	and	even	the	schematics	of	the	underground	systems	are	questionable	.	it's	a	seemingly	impossible	task	,	even	for	a	large	corporation	used	to	building	robots	for	ibm	.	but	it	will	happen	,	and	the	end	result	will	be	w	.	i	.	s	.	o	.	r	.	,	or	welding	and	inspection	steam	operations	robot	.	michel	negroponte	,	who	came	to	understandable	recognition	after	his	successful	debut	with	jupiter's	wife	,	tries	to	make	this	subject	interesting	.	it	starts	out	with	gusto	,	a	short	energetic	cartoon	of	what	w	.	i	.	s	.	o	.	r	.	will	eventually	do	,	brief	shots	of	the	men	making	it	possible	,	and	some	horror	scene	news	footage	that	prompted	conedison	to	take	action	.	but	not	halfway	through	the	film	,	it	is	difficult	to	stifle	a	yawn	.	the	engineers	bounce	scientific	theories	back	and	forth	,	prove	themselves	frustratingly	wrong	,	and	get	back	on	the	horse	time	and	again	.	to	make	matters	even	more	annoying	,	the	robot	they	are	making	is	given	a	voice	that	mimics	them	.	the	archival	footage	that	is	interspersed	to	break	up	the	development	of	the	machine	has	some	interesting	historical	perspective	.	however	,	the	voice	over	is	a	condescending	one	,	as	if	it	were	speaking	to	mere	5	year	olds	(	who	of	course	would	never	sit	through	a	film	like	this	)	.	visually	speaking	,	it	doesn't	matter	which	section	of	the	"	robo	welder	"	they	are	working	on	,	though	each	piece	gets	an	exhausting	length	of	time	.	again	,	negroponte	tries	to	make	up	for	this	in	shifty	camera	work	mixed	with	slow	and	fast	motion	,	but	all	this	creates	is	an	eyesore	.	for	some	reason	,	the	screen	also	changes	from	black	and	white	to	color	at	random	.	the	redeeming	values	are	few	and	far	between	.	it's	respectable	that	negroponte	would	try	to	teach	the	masses	about	such	a	subject	and	that	the	subjects	aren't	portrayed	as	perfect	geniuses	of	noble	personality	.	the	structure	of	the	film	is	pleasantly	tight	;	none	of	the	scenes	are	particularly	over	extended	.	but	while	it	is	human	tendency	to	turn	to	technology	to	fix	things	,	and	some	of	these	advances	are	fascinating	,	w	.	i	.	s	.	o	.	r	.	just	doesn't	make	the	grade	.
neg	the	now	classic	video	game	tomb	raider	is	a	geek	boy's	dream	a	hot	heroine	with	barbie	like	measurements	goes	on	adventures	and	kicks	ass	.	the	film	adaptation	,	starring	the	buxom	and	bored	angelina	jolie	,	is	nobody's	dream	.	it's	billed	as	an	action	fantasy	,	but	possesses	no	physical	excitement	or	wonder	.	ok	,	maybe	some	wonder	,	as	in	,	"	i	wonder	how	paramount	actually	feels	about	this	film	.	"	even	the	teen	hormones	that	live	in	all	us	guys	are	squashed	by	this	one	.	jolie	,	trying	to	play	our	heroine	lady	lara	croft	as	sexy	and	supercool	,	just	looks	mildly	amused	by	the	goings	on	.	i	half	expected	her	to	check	her	watch	while	on	camera	,	searching	for	lunch	or	a	better	project	.	never	underestimate	crafty	film	editing	.	ed	.	and	it	wouldn't	take	much	to	find	the	latter	.	somewhere	in	tomb	raider	exists	a	loose	story	about	two	parts	of	a	single	rune	that	,	when	joined	together	,	can	cause	major	cosmic	tragedies	when	the	planets	next	align	,	which	is	soon	(	this	only	happens	every	5	,	000	years	,	so	this	is	important	!	)	lady	lara	needs	to	keep	the	pieces	from	the	enemy	,	or	hide	them	,	or	something	,	but	since	the	script	is	so	painfully	bad	,	we	can't	really	tell	or	care	.	the	screenplay	,	credited	to	six	contributors	including	director	simon	west	(	con	air	)	,	is	not	only	uninteresting	,	it	is	devoid	of	any	style	.	if	the	film	is	supposed	to	be	tongue	in	cheek	,	where	are	the	laughs	?	if	it's	got	a	heavy	duty	comic	book	slant	,	where	is	the	camp	?	tomb	raider	takes	itself	almost	too	seriously	,	by	a	group	of	writers	who	reduce	the	humor	of	this	movie	to	lara's	sidekick	whining	because	his	ass	muscles	fall	asleep	.	these	guys	even	cast	jon	voight	(	jolie's	real	life	father	)	as	lara	croft's	father	.	.	.	and	then	make	absolutely	no	reference	to	the	in	joke	.	talk	about	a	lost	opportunity	to	add	some	fun	and	levity	.	at	least	you'd	figure	the	shoot	em	up	sequences	would	make	up	for	the	lack	of	an	entertaining	script	.	not	so	.	save	for	a	somewhat	creative	showdown	during	the	finale	,	this	dud's	got	your	standard	running	,	jumping	,	and	gunplay	,	lifted	from	better	movies	you've	already	seen	.	the	fight	choreography	is	so	tired	that	lara	appears	to	be	rehearsing	for	some	off	screen	gymnastics	event	.	and	while	you're	watching	the	action	,	be	careful	!	the	filmmakers	believe	you	might	not	be	sure	something	cool	is	just	about	to	happen	.	to	help	you	along	,	west	provides	two	hints	:	1	)	the	film	is	in	slow	motion	,	and	2	)	there's	something	resembling	techno	music	in	the	soundtrack	.	of	course	,	the	slo	mo	is	more	reminiscent	of	a	billy	joel	video	than	the	matrix	,	and	the	music	sounds	like	your	mom's	techno	,	generic	and	palatable	enough	to	be	in	a	movie	commercial	or	an	elevator	,	rather	than	in	a	feature	film	(	funny	,	considering	west	began	directing	commercials	)	.	if	it's	action	with	zip	and	spice	you're	looking	for	,	try	the	at	least	passable	mummy	returns	.	if	it's	just	a	hot	babe	wearing	a	closet	full	of	tight	shirts	,	this	movie	just	might	do	.	but	if	it's	tomb	raider	you	really	want	,	keep	your	playstation	plugged	in	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	you	know	that	a	movie	has	issues	when	most	everyone	in	the	audience	comes	out	laughing	.	.	.	and	it's	not	a	comedy	!	and	what	a	strange	career	path	for	director	chuck	russell	.	he	starts	his	career	off	with	a	decent	take	on	the	"	nightmare	on	elm	street	"	series	with	his	debut	as	director	on	installment	number	three	.	he	follows	that	up	with	the	blob	the	very	next	year	,	but	waits	another	six	years	to	do	his	next	piece	,	a	little	film	called	the	mask	starring	jim	carrey	,	and	then	one	more	star	vehicle	in	eraser	two	years	after	that	.	so	then	he	thought	,	"	let	me	wait	another	five	years	,	get	a	weak	script	jammed	with	cliches	and	hope	that	jimmy	smits	and	kim	basinger	could	pull	it	out	of	its	ashes	"	?	!	?	strange	dude	and	one	crappy	flick	.	plot	:	a	six	year	old	girl	is	believed	to	be	some	kind	of	mysterious	prophet	sent	down	from	god	.	a	satanic	cult	wants	the	girl	to	switch	over	to	their	side	,	while	the	girl's	aunt	wants	to	.	.	.	well	,	save	her	from	those	damn	devil	worshippers	!	enter	one	occult	expert	agent	,	plenty	of	bobo	cops	and	lots	of	nuns	praying	,	and	you've	just	about	got	the	gist	of	things	here	.	critique	:	with	plot	holes	the	size	of	my	ass	,	this	movie	barely	squeezes	any	sense	out	of	its	clich	ridden	plot	,	with	wasted	talent	,	cheezy	effects	,	bad	dialogue	and	unintentional	laughs	to	boot	.	what's	good	about	this	movie	?	well	,	rufus	sewell	is	pretty	fun	to	watch	as	the	head	of	a	creepy	runaway	children's	shelter	satanist	supreme	,	with	seriously	wicked	eyes	and	just	enough	ham	in	his	performance	to	go	with	all	of	the	cheese	lying	around	.	the	little	girl	is	also	pretty	good	but	unfortunately	her	character	doesn't	really	do	all	that	much	.	and	believe	it	or	not	,	i	was	actually	enjoying	some	of	the	film's	first	half	hour	,	which	starts	off	with	some	promise	,	but	not	before	bonehead	moves	after	bonehead	moves	from	our	protagonist	,	basinger	,	just	drown	the	film's	entire	basis	of	believability	.	for	some	reason	,	it	takes	her	more	time	than	anyone	to	figure	out	that	her	niece	is	gifted	,	and	even	longer	to	figure	out	that	every	move	that	she	makes	.	.	.	is	a	dumb	one	!	add	that	to	the	entire	police	force	of	incompetents	,	save	for	jimmy	smits	(	whose	talent	agent	advised	him	that	playing	the	exact	same	cop	character	from	nypd	blue	would	be	a	good	career	move	?	at	least	change	the	clothes	,	jimmy	!	)	,	zero	scares	,	zero	thrills	and	even	less	actual	drama	,	and	you've	got	yourself	a	pretty	bad	movie	.	and	why	would	respected	actors	like	christina	ricci	and	ian	holm	take	bit	parts	in	this	movie	?	did	they	owe	the	director	a	favor	or	something	?	together	,	they	barely	have	five	minutes	of	screen	time	,	but	i	suppose	that	ricci's	hospital	room	scene	might	be	worth	a	look	for	some	of	you	horn	dogs	.	the	worst	part	about	this	movie	is	its	hilariously	unbelievable	ending	,	which	features	police	officers	coming	up	with	the	brilliant	idea	of	"	sneaking	up	"	on	a	man's	house	,	who	they	know	to	be	guilty	of	a	crime	!	uuuhmm	.	.	.	how's	about	knocking	on	the	door	and	arresting	his	sorry	ass	,	officers	?	!	anyway	,	i	don't	usually	inscribe	spoilers	in	my	reviews	but	the	stupidity	of	some	of	these	characters	is	just	too	difficult	to	describe	without	validating	it	with	solid	idiotic	proof	(	and	there	was	plenty	to	go	around	)	.	and	did	basinger	lose	some	of	her	acting	"	talent	"	during	her	hiatus	from	the	profession	after	her	1997	oscar	win	?	difficult	to	say	if	it	was	her	lines	that	were	really	bad	,	or	if	she	just	delivered	them	poorly	.	either	way	,	little	originality	,	very	obvious	computer	effects	,	little	thrills	,	little	drama	and	very	little	entertainment	value	,	certainly	bestow	the	honor	of	one	of	the	worst	movies	of	the	summer	upon	this	film	.	but	if	you	really	don't	mind	a	rehashed	gobbledygook	of	various	satanic	and	"	kid	"	based	thrillers	,	and	enjoy	watching	films	that	don't	bring	anything	new	to	the	table	.	.	.	well	,	drink	some	beers	,	smoke	some	beans	and	rent	this	video	,	because	it	may	just	be	one	of	the	funnier	thrillers	of	the	year	.
neg	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	what	an	enigma	.	it's	89	minutes	of	my	life	that	i	can't	get	back	.	i	just	can't	figure	out	how	such	a	skillful	pair	of	performers	like	ralph	fiennes	and	uma	thurman	can	let	themselves	be	a	part	of	such	a	mess	like	'the	avengers'	.	even	a	veteran	like	sean	connery	looks	awkward	in	this	film	and	let's	face	it	,	has	connery	had	a	really	good	film	since	1990's	'the	hunt	for	red	october'	?	connery	has	made	some	bad	decisions	as	an	actor	like	appearing	in	that	horrible	'highlander'	sequel	in	1991	,	and	now	that	i	think	of	it	,	i	wasn't	that	impressed	with	the	first	'highlander'	movie	in	1986	but	such	films	like	1992's	'medicine	man'	,	1993's	'rising	sun'	and	1995's	'just	cause'	all	had	potential	but	looked	more	like	they	were	cranked	out	in	the	usual	hollywood	fashion	in	the	fast	food	section	of	motion	pictures	.	warner	brothers	refused	to	show	the	movie	to	critics	a	short	time	ago	before	its	major	release	and	for	good	reason	!	of	course	,	the	usual	corporate	line	to	put	a	spin	on	things	,	as	voiced	by	one	warner	executive	was	that	the	reason	why	there	was	no	previews	beforehand	was	because	warner	bros	.	was	afraid	that	critics	would	compare	it	to	other	films	and	to	the	original	t	.	v	.	series	.	ha	,	ha	,	ha	!	what	an	insult	to	people's	intelligence	.	ok	,	so	i'll	never	work	there	.	beginning	with	opening	scenes	that	are	relatively	entertaining	(	the	first	ten	minutes	had	me	watching	hopefully	)	,	'the	avengers'	quickly	dissolves	into	another	formula	comic	book	style	movie	with	lavish	sets	,	impressive	costume	designs	and	other	forms	of	eye	candy	that	can't	hide	the	fact	that	the	film	doesn't	know	which	direction	it's	going	in	because	it	doesn't	know	where	it's	been	.	it's	an	abstract	form	of	so	called	entertainment	that	wallows	in	the	excessive	boredom	seen	last	year	in	'batman	and	robin'	where	an	abysmal	script	and	wooden	direction	ticked	off	even	the	casual	movie	fan	.	this	big	screen	version	of	'the	avengers'	is	based	on	the	television	series	from	the	1960's	which	starred	patrick	macnee	and	diana	rigg	.	the	series	ran	from	1961	to	1968	and	rigg	came	in	in	1966	.	prior	to	that	it	was	honor	blackman	who	starred	along	with	macnee	.	in	this	version	,	john	steed	(	fiennes	)	and	dr	.	(	mrs	.	)	emma	peel	(	thurman	)	are	two	highly	skilled	british	secret	agents	who	are	introduced	to	each	other	and	are	given	an	assignment	to	work	on	a	case	involving	the	manipulation	of	the	world's	weather	.	snow	storms	,	twisters	,	warm	weather	,	rain	,	lightening	and	thunder	are	all	present	right	behind	each	other	in	bizarre	fashion	controlled	by	a	mad	scientist	named	sir	august	de	wynter	(	sean	connery	)	.	de	wynter's	plot	is	to	manipulate	the	governments	of	the	world	into	buying	his	weather	,	presumably	the	safe	and	normal	kind	and	if	not	,	he	says	hundreds	of	millions	will	drown	,	burn	,	freeze	etc	.	director	jeremiah	s	.	chechik	(	'benny	and	joon'	,	'national	lampoon's	christmas	vacation'	)	doesn't	know	what	he's	doing	here	.	he	has	no	idea	where	to	take	a	movie	and	how	to	distinguish	his	characters	from	each	other	and	throw	in	his	version	of	sub	text	like	any	creative	director	would	.	screenwriter	don	macpherson's	dialogue	is	pompous	in	an	annoying	sort	of	way	and	his	story	development	is	about	as	slow	as	opening	a	can	of	food	with	a	manual	can	opener	rather	than	by	using	an	electrical	one	.	what's	really	disappointing	about	this	version	is	the	performance	of	uma	thurman	as	peel	.	in	many	ways	,	she	sounds	a	lot	like	her	poison	ivy	character	from	'batman	and	robin'	.	in	fact	,	if	you	were	to	blindfold	even	the	most	high	brow	critic	,	it	is	my	belief	that	he	or	she	would	have	a	hard	time	distinguishing	between	the	two	characters	.	fiennes	is	wooden	and	his	showdown	with	connery	in	the	film's	climax	is	laughably	short	,	predictable	and	badly	edited	.	every	character	in	this	movie	looks	like	they're	reading	their	lines	from	cue	cards	.	the	film's	continuity	is	also	scattershot	.	in	a	freezing	blizzard	,	steed	and	peel	are	speaking	to	each	other	and	they	aren't	shivering	and	their	warm	breath	in	contrast	to	the	cold	air	isn't	even	visible	!	one	shot	has	steed	taking	off	his	hat	which	is	covered	with	fake	snow	,	and	it	looks	fake	,	and	suddenly	as	the	snow	keeps	falling	,	only	a	couple	of	flake's	manage	to	find	their	way	onto	his	neatly	combed	head	of	hair	.	duh	!	i	recently	read	that	original	star	patrick	macnee	actually	approves	of	this	movie	because	steed	doesn't	carry	a	gun	like	he	never	did	on	the	t	.	v	.	show	.	wow	!	there's	a	ringing	endorsement	.	i'll	take	dirty	harry	and	his	magnum	or	john	mcclane	and	his	machine	gun	any	day	and	in	keeping	with	the	dignity	of	the	english	culture	,	i'm	sure	even	the	most	loyal	british	movie	fan	would	be	dying	to	rent	a	james	bond	movie	,	complete	with	guns	and	weaponry	used	stylishly	by	connery	and	roger	moore	after	seeing	this	movie	where	steed's	trusty	umbrella	seems	to	be	lethal	on	his	foes	.	for	fun	with	an	umbrella	,	i	recommend	turning	on	any	re	run	of	the	1960's	television	series	'batman'	and	seeing	burgess	meredith	"	wah	,	wah	wah	!	"	his	way	through	an	episode	as	the	penguin	,	using	his	umbrella	.	it's	more	enjoyable	and	entertaining	than	this	turkey	of	a	movie	where	the	real	asset	is	.	.	.	well	,	there	really	aren't	any	!
neg	starring	christopher	walken	,	jay	mohr	,	dennis	leary	,	sean	patrick	flannery	written	and	directed	by	peter	o'fallon	walken	stars	as	a	mobster	who	is	kidnapped	and	held	for	ransom	by	four	bratty	rich	kids	.	it	seems	that	a	woman	has	also	been	kidnapped	she	is	the	sister	of	one	of	them	(	e	.	t	.	's	henry	thomas	)	and	the	girlfriend	of	another	(	flannery	)	and	the	asking	price	is	2	million	,	which	said	snots	are	unable	to	cough	up	alone	.	they	even	cut	off	walken's	finger	to	show	they	mean	business	,	because	they	are	desperate	to	save	the	woman's	life	.	suicide	kings	is	a	terrible	film	.	walken	aside	,	there	isn't	a	single	appealing	cast	member	.	o'fallon	creates	characters	that	are	functional	types	without	any	resonance	.	in	an	amusingly	unironic	scene	,	walken	plays	poker	with	the	foursome	and	describes	each	of	their	personalities	to	a	tee	it's	as	if	he	was	reading	the	summary	sheet	for	a	casting	director	.	the	plot	is	another	issue	entirely	.	o'fallon	is	someone	whom	i'm	betting	has	seen	reservoir	dogs	and	the	usual	suspects	too	many	times	,	for	not	only	does	his	story	veer	off	on	bizarre	tangents	from	whence	they	never	return	(	do	we	really	need	the	scene	where	dennis	leary	beats	up	an	abusive	father	with	a	toaster	,	which	is	entirely	unrelated	to	both	the	story	and	leary's	character	,	or	the	numerous	anecdotal	sequences	?	)	,	but	the	central	plot	itself	is	a	serpentine	mess	,	filled	with	crosses	and	double	crosses	and	triple	crosses	.	.	.	by	the	fourth	big	revelation	twist	,	i	had	completely	tuned	out	,	wondering	what	on	earth	attracted	these	actors	to	the	material	.	recently	a	peer	,	a	fellow	young	filmmaker	,	informed	me	that	he	had	an	idea	for	a	movie	about	four	guys	,	the	mob	,	and	the	fbi	.	it	occurred	to	me	then	what's	wrong	with	indies	like	suicide	kings	:	i	suspect	o'fallon	has	never	met	a	mobster	,	is	not	a	rich	man	,	doesn't	deliver	endless	"	clever	"	monologues	to	his	friends	about	his	favourite	types	of	boots	.	.	.	in	short	,	these	guys	are	just	riffing	on	other	movies	,	and	in	doing	that	,	making	the	same	film	over	and	over	and	over	again	.	tarantino	found	his	niche	and	now	hundreds	of	genxers	with	movie	cameras	are	trying	to	find	tarantino's	niche	instead	of	carving	their	own	.	reviewed	at	the	toronto	international	film	festival
neg	kissing	a	fool	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	(	my	apologies	for	an	awkward	sphere	review	;	i	posted	the	wrong	draft	.	but	you	can	read	it	restored	on	.	.	.	my	website	!	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	a	enjoy	the	show	,	and	remember	that	i	have	a	section	where	you	,	the	surfer	,	can	recommend	movies	to	me	and	other	surfers	.	just	click	on	"	can't	miss	"	.	do	i	ever	shut	up	?	)	starring	david	schwimmer	,	jason	lee	,	mili	avital	,	bonnie	hunt	written	by	james	frey	doug	ellin	directed	by	doug	ellin	post	chasing	amy	,	a	slew	of	love	triangle	movies	:	this	month	we	have	kissing	a	fool	,	co	starring	amy's	own	lee	,	and	april	brings	us	the	object	of	my	affection	,	which	may	as	well	be	titled	chasing	allan	,	for	it	is	the	story	of	a	woman	who	falls	in	love	with	her	gay	roommate	.	(	to	be	absolutely	six	degrees	of	kevin	bacon	about	it	,	that	film	stars	schwimmer's	friend	jennifer	aniston	.	)	if	only	kevin	smith	could	write	them	all	.	.	.	schwimmer	stars	as	womanizing	chicago	sportscaster	max	,	who	falls	in	love	with	his	best	friend	jay	(	lee	)	's	book	editor	samantha	(	avital	)	a	mere	twenty	four	hours	after	meeting	her	.	they	are	soon	engaged	,	and	max	,	because	of	his	own	raging	libido	,	grows	suspicious	of	samantha's	fidelity	.	he	convinces	jay	to	flirt	with	samantha	during	the	development	of	his	book	,	to	"	test	her	"	.	the	trouble	is	,	jay	might	be	secretly	in	love	with	her	.	to	stretch	this	flat	,	sitcom	premise	to	feature	length	,	the	plot	is	framed	by	a	climactic	wedding	,	at	which	bonnie	hunt	recounts	the	triangular	tale	the	events	leading	up	to	the	nuptials	to	an	annoying	fat	man	and	his	silly	girlfriend	.	hunt	has	the	best	comic	timing	of	anyone	in	the	film	;	schwimmer	can	spin	bad	dialogue	into	mildly	humorous	dialogue	;	and	lee	,	poor	lee	,	is	miscast	.	so	hysterically	funny	in	chasing	amy	,	here	he	is	forced	to	repress	his	comic	instincts	:	to	swear	,	to	yell	,	to	talk	about	oral	sex	.	.	.	the	script's	idea	of	a	character	trait	is	to	stress	that	jay	is	a	"	sensitive	man	"	,	and	then	show	him	drinking	pepto	bismol	when	he's	stewing	over	his	girl	trouble	.	as	for	avital	,	an	israeli	actress	,	she	is	warm	and	sweet	,	but	we	don't	know	anything	about	her	character	other	than	that	it	takes	her	an	incredibly	long	time	to	realize	the	most	obvious	things	.	she	also	too	closely	resembles	the	stunningly	beautiful	kari	wuhrer	,	who	plays	schwimmer's	assistant	and	personal	temptress	,	turning	that	particular	subplot	into	an	unintentional	riff	on	vertigo	.	there	are	a	handful	,	a	smattering	,	of	good	scenes	in	kissing	a	fool	.	i	enjoyed	a	moment	in	a	comedy	club	,	during	which	jay	gets	up	and	asks	"	has	anyone	here	ever	hated	their	girlfriend	so	much	you	wanted	to	kill	her	?	"	over	and	over	until	he's	booted	off	stage	.	there	are	also	a	few	obviously	improvised	lines	that	are	fresher	than	anything	that's	on	the	page	.	kissing	a	fool	is	never	as	clever	as	the	thursday	night	joke	machine	friends	that	spawned	schwimmer's	movie	career	,	so	save	yourself	eight	dollars	and	watch	three	episodes	of	that	series	back	to	back	.	bill	chambers	;	march	,	1998	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	)
neg	the	lives	of	older	people	in	the	twilight	of	their	years	attempting	to	come	to	grips	with	their	shared	histories	and	possible	futures	is	a	fascinating	topic	.	finding	an	all	star	cast	for	such	a	film	is	a	stroke	of	genius	.	combining	all	that	with	a	three	time	oscar	winning	director	(	robert	benton	of	"	kramer	vs	.	kramer	"	)	and	creating	a	decidedly	mediocre	movie	is	the	stuff	of	disappointment	.	in	yet	another	noir	mystery	set	in	hollywood	how	many	of	these	have	we	seen	during	the	past	few	years	?	the	atmosphere	is	moody	,	the	actors	enjoyable	to	watch	and	the	story	goes	nowhere	.	over	70	harry	ross	(	paul	newman	)	is	a	washed	up	cop	turned	private	eye	turned	man	friday	trying	to	figure	out	how	to	live	what	remains	of	his	life	.	he's	screwed	up	things	pretty	well	(	"	i	had	a	wife	and	daughter	.	now	,	i'm	a	drunk	)	and	is	at	a	crossroads	.	a	couple	of	years	ago	,	he	traveled	to	mexico	to	bring	back	mel	(	reese	witherspoon	)	,	the	under	age	daughter	of	jack	(	gene	hackman	)	and	catherine	(	susan	sarandon	)	ames	and	now	lives	with	them	.	the	ames	are	former	movie	stars	,	past	their	prime	and	the	three	have	become	fast	friends	.	one	gets	the	impression	that	ross	is	just	hanging	out	waiting	for	something	to	wake	him	up	.	to	fill	his	time	,	he	does	odd	jobs	for	jack	and	falls	in	love	with	catherine	.	jack	is	in	even	worse	shape	than	harry	.	he's	dying	of	cancer	with	only	a	year	to	live	.	things	do	turn	more	exciting	when	jack	asks	harry	to	drop	off	a	sealed	manila	envelope	for	him	.	instead	of	the	routine	errand	that	ross	expects	,	he	walks	into	a	barrage	of	bullets	from	the	gun	of	another	ex	cop	who	is	,	himself	,	full	of	bloody	holes	.	this	unsettling	event	gives	the	former	detective	a	project	to	throw	himself	into	and	launches	an	investigation	that	revolves	around	the	mysterious	disappearance	of	catherine's	first	husband	20	years	before	.	through	a	series	of	very	complex	and	convoluted	plot	devices	that	involve	murder	;	blackmail	;	guns	;	mel's	mexico	traveling	partner	and	his	parole	officer	;	ross's	former	cop	buddies	,	ex	lover	and	would	be	sidekick	,	the	tale	finally	ends	up	exactly	where	everyone	expects	it	to	.	it's	a	film	noir	tradition	that	the	story	twists	and	turns	down	side	roads	for	an	unexpected	finale	,	but	here	the	journey	meanders	towards	an	ending	that	no	one	cares	about	.	the	only	surprises	are	exactly	whose	face	fits	which	role	in	the	scenario	.	by	the	time	they	show	you	,	it	doesn't	matter	.	the	storyline	gets	goofier	and	goofier	exemplified	in	ross's	relationship	with	rubin	(	giancarlo	esposito	)	,	a	partner	wannabe	.	these	scenes	are	obviously	designed	to	be	comic	relief	,	however	they	are	neither	.	rubin	and	ross	have	some	past	relationship	but	either	it's	not	explained	or	i	didn't	care	enough	at	that	point	to	remember	.	a	running	joke	about	where	harry	was	supposedly	shot	while	in	mexico	is	probably	meant	to	mirror	his	questions	about	whether	he	is	still	able	to	perform	.	it's	also	not	funny	,	doesn't	connect	and	keeps	on	showing	up	long	after	it	has	run	its	course	.	on	the	positive	side	,	it's	often	enjoyable	to	watch	the	seasoned	actors	on	the	screen	.	the	three	leads	all	have	well	deserved	academy	awards	and	turn	in	accomplished	,	if	not	extraordinary	jobs	.	newman	is	a	grand	actor	,	but	doesn't	seem	quite	suited	to	the	dark	film	style	.	he	is	a	bit	too	clean	and	understated	to	come	across	as	desperate	and	down	and	out	.	hackman	,	also	low	key	,	is	believable	but	lacks	sparkle	.	sarandon	comes	across	well	as	an	sultry	older	babe	although	she	is	one	dimensional	.	the	actors	do	what	they	can	with	lame	dialog	,	but	they	can't	pull	the	film	out	of	the	hole	it's	dug	for	itself	.	james	garner	who	plays	ross's	old	buddy	ex	cop	raymond	hope	is	always	a	treat	,	but	even	he	half	heartedly	struggles	through	lines	like	"	i'm	glad	they	didn't	shoot	your	pecker	off	.	"	the	best	part	of	the	film	is	the	look	at	old	friends	,	how	their	relationships	change	over	the	years	and	the	difficult	choices	they	must	make	.	the	genuinely	easy	and	casual	interactions	among	the	actors	hint	that	being	on	the	set	was	much	more	interesting	than	what	ended	up	on	the	screen	the	film	doesn't	run	very	long	before	the	audience	realizes	that	it's	hopeless	.	the	only	reason	for	watching	is	the	actors	.	it	reminds	me	of	disaster	movies	such	as	"	towering	inferno	"	where	the	star	power	is	supposed	to	make	everyone	ignore	the	film's	problems	.	in	a	better	world	,	there	would	have	been	second	rate	actors	in	this	second	rate	movie	and	the	ones	here	would	have	been	saved	for	something	better	.	of	course	,	we	don't	live	in	that	better	world	,	but	you	could	make	yours	a	little	nicer	by	choosing	a	different	movie	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	23	years	and	was	fascinated	to	see	that	we	got	a	week	of	winter	this	year	just	as	spring	is	due	.	email	him	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	with	your	witty	comments	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	3	13	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	review	by	scott	hunt	visit	me	at	movie	hunt	a	href	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	a	)	after	a	marketing	windup	of	striking	visuals	and	the	promise	of	star	caliber	actors	,	mission	to	mars	ends	up	throwing	a	whiffleball	.	fiercely	unoriginal	,	director	depalma	cobbles	together	a	film	by	borrowing	heavily	from	what	has	gone	before	him	.	there	are	aliens	similar	to	those	in	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	.	the	stranded	astronaut	theme	is	reminiscent	of	robinson	crusoe	on	mars	.	the	astronauts	encounter	space	flight	difficulties	that	smack	of	apollo	13	.	interior	spacecraft	visuals	are	redolent	of	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	.	instead	of	using	these	components	as	a	launching	pad	to	create	his	own	movie	,	de	palma	stops	right	there	,	refusing	to	infuse	the	film	with	anything	even	remotely	resembling	cleverness	or	heart	.	mission	to	mars	takes	it's	first	wobbly	steps	at	a	pre	launch	barbeque	in	which	the	perfunctory	character	introductions	are	done	.	during	these	surface	scans	of	the	characters	,	we	learn	that	jim	mcconnell	(	sinise	)	has	lost	his	wife	.	it's	a	plot	point	revisted	throughout	the	film	with	jackhammer	subtlety	.	the	rest	of	the	crew	exhibit	a	bland	affability	.	there	is	no	contentiousness	,	no	friction	to	add	the	the	dramatic	tension	of	these	men	and	women	being	confined	to	close	quarters	for	an	extended	length	of	time	.	maybe	depalma	was	going	for	the	comraderie	of	the	right	stuff	,	but	in	that	movie	,	the	astronauts	had	embers	of	personality	to	warm	us	through	the	technical	aspects	.	it's	the	year	2020	and	this	is	nasa's	first	manned	excursion	to	the	red	planet	.	a	crew	,	led	by	luke	graham	(	cheadle	)	,	arrives	on	mars	and	quickly	discovers	an	anomaly	,	which	they	investigate	with	tragic	results	.	graham	is	able	to	transmit	a	garbled	distress	call	back	to	earth	.	in	response	,	earth	sends	a	rescue	team	comprised	of	mcconnell	,	woody	blake	(	robbins	)	,	wife	terri	fisher	(	nielsen	)	and	phil	ohlmyer	(	o'connell	)	.	obstacles	are	put	in	the	crew's	way	and	and	they	matter	of	factly	go	about	solving	them	.	i	should	say	,	mcconnell	goes	about	solving	them	.	time	and	again	,	mcconnell	is	presented	as	some	kind	of	wunderkind	,	which	wouldn't	be	so	bad	if	the	rest	of	the	crew	didn't	come	across	as	so	aggressivelly	unremarkable	.	(	mention	should	be	made	of	the	misogynistic	handling	of	fisher	in	a	situation	where	the	entire	crew's	mission	and	life	is	in	mortal	danger	.	on	a	team	of	professionals	,	she	is	portrayed	as	an	emotion	directed	weak	link	.	women	serve	no	purpose	in	the	movie	other	than	to	serve	as	a	reflection	of	a	male	character's	personality	trait	.	)	by	the	time	they	land	on	mars	and	try	to	solve	the	mystery	of	what	occurred	,	mission	to	mars	starts	laying	on	the	cliches	and	stilted	dialogue	with	a	heavy	brush	.	there	is	an	adage	in	film	to	"	show	,	don't	tell	.	"	mission	to	mars	does	both	.	repeatedly	.	characters	obsessively	explain	the	obvious	,	explain	their	actions	as	they	are	doing	them	,	explain	to	fellow	astronauts	facts	which	should	be	fundamental	knowledge	to	them	.	the	film's	conclusion	is	momumentally	derivative	,	anti	climatic	and	unsatisying	.	as	i	walked	out	i	wondered	who	the	target	audience	might	be	for	this	film	.	the	best	i	could	come	up	with	is	pre	teen	age	boys	,	but	in	this	media	saturated	era	,	this	film's	components	would	have	been	old	hat	even	for	them	.	i	have	to	think	what	attracted	such	talent	to	this	film	was	the	lure	of	making	a	good	,	modern	day	b	movie	.	the	key	to	such	a	venture	is	a	certain	depth	and	sincerity	towards	the	material	.	i	felt	no	such	earnestness	.
neg	my	giant	is	two	movies	for	the	price	of	one	,	but	neither	is	worth	the	cost	of	admission	,	even	if	you	get	in	free	.	as	lamely	directed	by	michael	lehmann	,	the	picture	tries	to	be	a	comedy	by	using	and	reusing	every	giant	joke	in	the	book	.	(	"	without	goliath	,	david	is	just	some	punk	throwing	rocks	.	"	)	languidly	paced	throughout	,	the	movie	becomes	increasingly	lugubrious	as	the	screenplay	by	david	seltzer	(	the	omen	)	meanders	toward	its	sad	ending	.	since	it's	rarely	funny	or	convincingly	dramatic	,	what	the	filmmakers	thought	they	were	doing	remains	a	mystery	.	other	than	a	few	nice	visuals	,	there's	nothing	to	recommend	the	picture	.	with	great	film	comedies	under	his	belt	from	when	harry	met	sally	to	the	original	city	slickers	,	billy	crystal	has	shown	that	he's	more	than	the	world's	best	oscar	host	.	he	does	,	however	,	have	a	propensity	for	choosing	hopeless	material	as	in	last	year's	father's	day	and	this	year's	my	giant	.	one	wonders	if	he	reads	the	script	before	agreeing	to	go	ahead	with	a	project	.	surely	reading	the	one	for	my	giant	would	have	shown	that	there	was	nothing	there	.	perhaps	he	thought	he	could	ad	lib	it	into	success	.	or	maybe	he	wants	to	be	a	dramatic	actor	and	thought	he	could	do	something	serious	with	the	movie's	somber	tone	.	the	most	charitable	thing	that	could	be	said	about	it	is	that	it	is	so	ineffectual	that	people	will	probably	forget	they	saw	it	by	the	next	day	.	this	one	joke	movie's	single	idea	is	to	place	real	life	basketball	player	gheorghe	muresan	,	who	stands	seven	and	a	half	feet	tall	,	into	as	many	visually	striking	situations	as	possible	.	sammy	(	crystal	)	,	an	agent	currently	without	clients	,	is	rescued	after	a	car	accident	by	a	sweet	romanian	giant	named	max	(	muresan	)	.	after	throwing	out	constant	one	liners	(	"	either	god	is	in	the	salvage	business	or	big	foot	just	took	my	car	.	"	)	,	sammy	decides	to	get	serious	,	seeing	max	as	his	meal	ticket	.	and	although	he	doesn't	like	it	,	he's	willing	to	sign	max	up	to	do	disgusting	events	like	a	wrestling	match	with	a	half	dozen	dwarfs	.	(	the	movie	itself	knows	no	bounds	as	it	contains	one	of	the	most	putrid	and	lengthy	vomiting	scenes	ever	.	)	after	a	series	of	missed	opportunities	,	the	comedic	part	of	the	movie	is	over	,	and	it	turns	into	a	cheap	and	maudlin	disease	movie	.	we	learn	that	max's	condition	is	terminal	,	and	he	will	soon	die	.	to	be	fair	,	the	movie	does	contain	a	few	good	scenes	all	of	which	you	can	see	in	the	trailers	.	let's	hope	billy	gets	himself	a	pair	of	reading	glasses	before	he	signs	up	for	another	movie	.	my	giant	runs	too	long	even	at	just	1	:	37	.	it	is	rated	pg	for	violence	and	profanity	and	would	be	acceptable	for	kids	around	ten	and	up	.	my	son	jeffrey	and	his	friend	matthew	,	both	9	,	gave	the	movie	a	single	star	and	had	nothing	good	to	say	about	it	.	matthew	pointed	out	that	it	"	is	not	as	good	as	it	could	have	been	or	should	have	been	.	"	(	amen	.	)	he	went	on	to	comment	that	he	did	not	like	the	way	the	movie	changed	completely	in	the	middle	.	jeffrey	complained	particularly	about	how	gross	the	movie	was	.
neg	cast	:	liam	neeson	,	catherine	zeta	jones	,	owen	wilson	,	lili	taylor	,	bruce	dern	,	virginia	madsen	,	lisa	loeb	written	by	:	david	self	directed	by	:	jan	de	bont	running	time	:	112	minutes	date	reviewed	:	august	4	,	1999	overblown	remake	of	the	1963	robert	wise	film	of	the	same	name	(	based	on	shirley	jackson's	novel	"	the	haunting	of	hill	house	"	)	stars	lili	taylor	as	one	of	three	"	lab	rats	"	that	participate	in	a	supposed	"	insomnia	"	study	being	initiated	by	liam	neeson	.	he	is	actually	conducting	a	study	on	the	causes	of	fear	and	why	the	human	mind	is	still	affected	by	it	.	he	drags	the	test	subjects	out	to	a	foreboding	mansion	where	all	types	of	"	creepy	"	cgi	effects	scare	the	cast	and	try	the	audience's	patience	.	i	know	this	question	has	been	posed	before	,	but	why	do	people	keep	remaking	good	movies	?	the	original	was	a	great	psychological	horror	film	.	this	new	version	is	dull	and	very	decidedly	not	scary	.	in	fact	,	i	feel	it	is	downright	impossible	to	make	a	modern	day	pg	13	horror	movie	that	is	scary	.	unless	you	find	obvious	computer	generated	special	effects	frightening	,	then	there's	nothing	in	this	film	that	will	raise	hackles	.	i	nearly	fell	asleep	twice	during	the	film	,	and	probably	would	have	if	they	guy	two	rows	behind	me	didn't	seem	to	have	such	a	personal	relationship	with	the	characters	that	he	felt	he	needed	to	discuss	every	decision	they	made	with	them	as	the	film	progressed	.	it's	sad	to	see	such	an	amazing	cast	wasted	so	badly	.	owen	wilson	spends	most	of	the	film	wandering	the	halls	of	the	house	,	and	the	script	does	no	justice	to	his	wonderful	comic	ability	.	catherine	zeta	jones	(	always	nice	to	look	at	)	is	given	the	woefully	underwritten	role	of	a	bi	sexual	insomniac	that	gets	to	run	out	of	her	bedroom	perplexed	every	time	some	strange	noise	occurs	.	liam	neeson	pops	in	from	time	to	time	to	talk	into	his	tape	recorder	and	attempt	to	convince	the	others	that	he	has	as	much	knowledge	about	what's	going	on	as	the	rest	of	them	do	.	finally	,	poor	lili	taylor	,	the	center	of	the	film	,	gets	the	brunt	of	the	cgi	effects	thrown	at	her	while	everyone	else	gets	to	scream	and	try	to	rescue	her	.	apparently	,	a	subplot	involving	a	tryst	between	zeta	jones	and	taylor's	characters	was	filmed	but	removed	.	that's	too	bad	,	because	it	might	have	lent	some	better	characterization	to	the	narrative	.	this	is	jan	de	bont's	second	straight	misfire	(	speed	2	:	cruise	control	being	the	first	)	.	when	is	he	going	to	learn	that	bigger	is	not	always	necessarily	better	?	robert	wise	knew	that	when	he	made	the	original	and	the	makes	of	the	blair	witch	project	also	knew	that	.	one	should	not	approach	a	haunted	house	movie	with	a	twister	mindset	.	if	de	bont	and	screenwriter	david	self	had	let	our	minds	fill	in	the	blanks	as	to	what	was	happening	instead	of	showing	us	everything	,	it	would	have	served	to	make	the	film	terrifying	.	what	our	mind	fashions	on	it's	own	can	be	a	thousand	times	more	frightening	than	having	having	it	completely	led	towards	everything	.	apparently	,	yet	another	version	of	this	story	is	being	filmed	under	it's	original	title	.	i	certainly	hope	that	this	newer	rendition	will	not	be	hurt	by	the	insanity	of	jan	de	bont's	version	and	that	it	will	retain	the	psychological	impact	that	the	original	release	had	.	pg	13	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	1999	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.	hr	get	free	email	and	do	more	on	the	web	.	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	msn	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	msn	.	com	a
neg	you	think	that	these	people	only	exist	in	the	movies	,	but	trust	me	,	they're	as	real	as	life	.	i	once	talked	to	a	guy	who	thought	the	united	states	government	was	putting	satellites	into	orbit	which	could	fry	an	individual	person's	brain	with	microwaves	.	then	i	sat	in	a	room	full	of	people	who	believed	that	the	government	rigged	state	elections	.	i	even	listened	to	a	man	who	swore	that	nicotine	was	an	additive	that	cigarette	companies	put	in	their	products	for	the	specific	goal	of	getting	people	addicted	.	these	people	had	what	are	known	as	"	conspiracy	theories	"	ideas	about	how	unseen	forces	work	to	deceive	and	control	the	public	.	a	little	imagination	goes	a	long	way	.	in	richard	donner's	conspiracy	theory	,	jerry	fletcher	(	mel	gibson	)	is	a	new	york	city	cab	driver	who	seems	to	have	a	conspiracy	theory	about	everything	.	his	latest	,	that	nasa	is	trying	to	kill	the	president	by	causing	an	earthquake	from	the	space	shuttle	,	might	sound	outrageous	to	us	,	but	is	all	in	a	day's	work	for	him	.	he	combs	the	newspaper	,	looking	for	tidbits	that	leave	telltale	warnings	about	the	goings	on	behind	the	scenes	,	and	from	there	jerry	draws	his	conclusions	.	upstanding	citizen	that	he	is	,	he	tries	to	convince	alice	sutton	(	julia	roberts	)	of	the	justice	department	that	the	president	must	be	warned	.	lucky	gal	,	alice	,	who	met	jerry	when	he	saved	her	from	a	couple	of	muggers	and	has	had	to	listen	to	his	theories	during	the	six	months	since	.	what	she	doesn't	know	is	that	jerry's	interest	in	her	is	far	more	than	,	well	,	professional	.	he	goes	to	great	lengths	to	follow	her	around	and	watch	her	in	her	own	apartment	.	but	when	some	secret	government	types	seem	to	take	an	interest	in	jerry's	ideas	and	his	limited	circulation	"	conspiracy	theory	"	newsletter	,	he	finds	himself	in	danger	and	in	real	need	of	alice's	help	.	one	of	the	problems	with	conspiracy	theory	is	that	it	tries	to	pass	itself	off	as	an	action	thriller	when	it	seems	to	have	neither	a	whole	lot	of	action	,	nor	a	significant	number	of	thrills	.	part	of	this	is	a	result	of	the	film's	slow	pace	.	it	takes	forever	to	set	up	the	relationship	between	jerry	and	alice	,	and	even	once	that	is	over	with	,	the	rest	of	the	film	seems	to	be	a	lot	of	boredom	that	every	once	in	a	while	stops	to	take	a	break	for	excitement	.	at	over	two	hours	,	this	film	could	have	been	significantly	condensed	and	had	it's	running	time	shortened	by	twenty	minutes	to	half	an	hour	,	but	even	then	,	the	action	scenes	would	not	be	able	to	save	the	film	.	instead	of	truly	exciting	and	engaging	set	pieces	,	we're	treated	to	a	few	of	the	generic	scenes	with	the	requisite	"	black	elements	"	:	black	helicopter	,	men	in	black	action	suits	and	body	armor	,	black	vehicles	you	know	the	drill	.	they	come	on	down	with	all	kinds	of	neat	gadgets	and	weapons	,	but	for	some	reason	a	guy	with	just	a	bunch	of	theories	and	some	chick	with	no	training	somehow	manage	to	elude	them	every	time	.	big	deal	,	we've	seen	it	all	before	.	watching	the	film	,	i	wished	donner	had	at	least	tried	to	use	a	little	imagination	,	but	i	was	out	of	luck	.	now	,	when	i	say	it	took	forever	to	set	up	the	"	relationship	"	between	jerry	and	alice	,	i	completely	mean	what	one	person	is	relative	to	the	other	,	and	not	romantic	involvement	.	oh	,	donner	and	screenwriter	brian	helgeland	would	like	you	to	believe	that	by	the	end	of	the	movie	,	the	two	main	characters	will	end	up	falling	hopelessly	in	love	with	each	other	,	but	there	seems	to	be	no	evidence	of	that	ever	occurring	.	you	see	,	there	were	more	sparks	between	gibson	and	danny	glover	in	the	lethal	weapon	movies	(	also	directed	by	donner	)	than	between	gibson	and	roberts	in	conspiracy	theory	.	the	two	just	don't	click	,	and	when	you	throw	in	a	number	of	happenings	that	would	cause	alice	to	reject	jerry	altogether	(	like	finding	out	he's	been	stalking	her	)	,	the	subsequent	attraction	is	absolutely	forced	.	the	script	in	general	also	seems	forced	,	like	someone	sat	helgeland	down	and	forced	him	to	write	it	,	then	took	it	and	forced	it	upon	us	.	dialog	is	undistinguished	and	rather	unmemorable	,	to	the	point	that	i	almost	stopped	listening	.	even	gibson's	usual	gift	for	ad	lib	couldn't	punch	up	the	film	sufficiently	to	raise	my	interest	,	although	one	of	jerry's	theories	about	oliver	stone	was	mildly	amusing	.	unfortunately	,	much	of	what's	discussed	in	the	film	is	not	inherently	important	to	what's	going	on	,	but	instead	filler	that	starts	out	with	potential	,	but	ends	up	just	being	extraneous	because	it's	never	followed	through	.	for	example	,	jerry	professes	that	a	man	found	drowned	in	his	swimming	pool	was	actually	murdered	by	the	government	in	a	new	york	subway	station	.	he	even	goes	so	far	as	to	explain	that	the	station	was	flooded	at	the	time	due	to	a	water	main	break	(	hence	the	water	in	a	subway	station	)	,	and	that	the	coroner	should	check	the	man's	lungs	for	chlorine	.	this	is	convincing	enough	to	alice	that	she	seems	to	believe	him	.	you	know	what	happens	then	?	nothing	,	zip	,	nada	.	no	follow	up	whatsoever	,	so	what's	the	significance	?	okay	,	here's	another	one	.	a	couple	of	well	known	(	real	life	)	assassins	were	found	to	have	possessed	copies	of	the	j	.	d	.	salinger	novel	"	the	catcher	in	the	rye	"	.	jerry	also	has	a	bunch	of	copies	.	whenever	he	goes	into	a	bookstore	,	he	has	to	buy	one	.	leaving	out	the	question	of	whether	or	not	this	makes	jerry	an	assassin	,	we're	never	given	a	reason	to	believe	why	this	would	make	him	an	assassin	.	not	when	we	find	out	about	his	salinger	collection	,	not	when	he	goes	to	the	bookstore	,	not	later	on	when	we	get	the	answer	to	our	first	question	.	the	point	becomes	totally	extraneous	.	oh	,	did	i	mention	that	patrick	stewart	is	in	this	film	?	yeah	,	he	plays	this	government	psychiatrist	named	dr	.	jonas	who	may	or	may	not	be	a	bad	guy	.	that's	about	it	.	for	all	the	presence	this	usually	marvelous	actor	has	,	he's	nearly	forgettable	in	conspiracy	theory	.	you	can	just	lump	him	in	with	the	supporting	players	,	with	the	exception	of	cylk	cozart	who	plays	agent	lowry	of	the	fbi	.	this	guy	was	really	likable	,	and	i	wish	he	and	his	character	had	gotten	more	screen	time	.	okay	,	here's	my	theory	.	this	really	started	out	as	a	great	film	,	but	some	of	its	jokes	were	actually	true	!	the	government	came	in	and	forced	donner	to	make	edits	for	the	sake	of	national	security	,	and	this	was	what	was	left	over	.
neg	year	:	2000	.	starring	gary	sinise	,	tim	robbins	,	don	cheadle	,	connie	nielsen	,	jerry	o'	connell	,	kim	delaney	,	elise	neal	,	peter	outerbridge	,	armin	mueller	stahl	.	written	by	lowell	cannon	(	story	)	,	jim	thomas	john	thomas	(	story	screenplay	)	,	graham	yost	(	screenplay	)	.	directed	by	brian	de	palma	.	rated	pg	.	there	should	be	a	requirement	that	a	potential	viewer	be	under	a	certain	film	iq	in	order	to	see	"	mission	to	mars	.	"	there	are	probably	quite	a	few	people	who	are	going	to	enjoy	it	,	and	most	of	them	will	probably	be	those	who	have	seen	very	few	films	of	its	kind	.	but	there	are	those	who	will	not	,	and	those	will	most	likely	be	people	who	have	already	seen	one	or	more	of	the	following	movies	:	"	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	,	"	"	armageddon	,	"	"	apollo	13	,	"	"	the	abyss	,	"	"	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	,	"	"	e	.	t	.	the	extra	terrestrial	,	"	"	alien	,	"	and	"	aliens	.	"	why	?	because	there	is	not	one	original	idea	in	"	mission	to	mars	.	"	all	of	it	is	cribbed	from	other	films	(	and	in	most	cases	,	better	films	)	.	if	this	is	the	sort	of	thing	you	don't	mind	,	you	might	like	the	film	.	of	course	,	there	are	other	reasons	not	to	like	"	mission	to	mars	,	"	the	main	one	being	a	script	written	by	people	who	seem	to	assume	their	audience	is	filled	with	people	who	haven't	used	their	brains	in	some	time	,	and	who	don't	intend	to	start	during	the	film's	running	time	.	"	mission	to	mars	"	manages	to	be	both	stupid	and	boring	at	the	same	time	.	the	plot	,	cribbed	greatly	from	"	2001	,	"	concerns	a	team	sent	to	mars	,	the	first	manned	trip	ever	made	to	the	red	planet	.	luke	graham	(	don	cheadle	)	leads	the	team	,	jointly	formed	of	americans	and	russians	.	the	team	encounters	a	mysterious	monolith	that	emits	a	strange	pulse	(	this	being	nothing	like	the	pulse	emitting	monolith	in	"	2001	"	that	one	was	on	the	moon	)	,	but	when	they	try	to	study	it	,	a	giant	sand	tornado	comes	out	of	the	top	and	swallows	them	(	all	except	luke	,	who	survives	long	enough	to	send	a	garbled	message	back	to	the	rotating	space	station	,	which	looks	strangely	like	the	rotating	space	station	in	"	2001	"	)	.	a	rescue	mission	is	planned	with	husband	wife	team	woody	blake	(	tim	robbins	)	and	terri	fisher	(	connie	nielsen	)	,	obligatory	pilot	with	a	troubled	past	jim	mcconnell	(	gary	sinise	)	,	and	extra	crew	member	phil	ohlmyer	(	jerry	o'connell	)	along	for	the	ride	.	after	some	zero	gravity	dancing	,	they	run	into	problems	when	one	of	their	engines	is	blown	,	forcing	them	to	attempt	a	desperate	landing	aboard	a	supply	vessel	.	now	stranded	on	mars	with	minimal	supplies	,	the	team	must	decide	whether	or	not	it	can	risk	entering	the	monolith	or	if	they	should	return	home	.	after	all	,	that	monolith	just	might	contain	information	about	how	life	originated	on	earth	.	"	mission	to	mars	"	is	one	of	those	films	that	makes	a	critic	wonder	where	to	start	when	talking	about	all	the	things	that	are	wrong	with	it	,	so	let's	start	with	one	of	the	things	that	does	work	:	director	brian	de	palma	manages	to	create	some	eerie	tension	in	a	few	scenes	during	the	middle	of	the	film	.	that's	it	.	everything	else	fails	.	the	failure	isn't	de	palma's	fault	;	he's	working	from	an	atrocious	script	.	only	during	the	sequence	aboard	the	ship	(	looking	an	awful	lot	like	the	jupiter	vessel	in	"	2001	"	)	where	the	rescue	team's	air	begins	running	out	and	they	must	frantically	search	for	the	hole	and	patch	it	up	does	"	mission	to	mars	"	come	to	life	.	a	scene	where	they	attempt	to	save	a	comrade	floating	away	into	space	also	provides	some	tension	,	until	you	realize	that	the	entire	danger	more	danger	attempted	rescue	sequence	has	absolutely	nothing	to	do	with	the	rest	of	the	film	;	it's	just	a	contrived	way	to	generate	thrilling	scenes	.	take	it	out	,	and	the	plot	isn't	affected	in	any	way	.	the	sequence	also	suffers	from	a	few	plot	holes	(	as	does	the	rest	of	the	film	)	:	why	is	the	ship's	computer	(	which	sounds	strangely	like	hal	from	,	uh	,	"	2001	"	)	able	to	detect	a	hole	in	the	main	chamber	but	not	one	in	the	engine	?	why	did	tim	robbins'	character	have	to	go	outside	the	ship	when	the	solution	easily	presented	itself	from	inside	?	shouldn't	the	astronauts	be	better	trained	to	deal	with	a	hull	breach	?	why	are	the	characters	such	idiots	?	because	the	script	makes	little	attempt	to	properly	develop	them	.	all	the	"	conflict	"	is	clumsily	delivered	in	excruciatingly	obvious	exposition	in	the	opening	scene	(	which	rips	off	orson	welles	and	robert	altman	by	utilizing	a	long	opening	tracking	shot	)	during	which	the	characters	repeatedly	tell	each	other	about	things	all	of	them	should	already	know	:	"	jim	,	it's	too	bad	you	can't	go	on	this	mission	because	you	were	determined	'psychologically	inadequate'	because	your	wife	died	right	before	you	were	to	go	on	the	mission	together	"	does	anyone	really	talk	like	this	?	can't	we	find	out	these	things	in	a	less	grating	matter	,	like	maybe	in	a	flashback	?	the	whole	film	is	like	that	.	the	filmmakers	are	not	content	to	merely	show	us	something	and	assume	we	know	what's	going	on	;	they	must	tell	us	exactly	what	we're	looking	at	every	time	.
neg	"	marie	couldn't	talk	,	"	paulie	,	the	parrot	star	of	his	own	movie	,	tells	us	about	the	daughter	in	his	original	family	.	"	dad	couldn't	listen	.	and	mom	couldn't	cope	,	so	they	got	rid	of	me	.	"	paulie	,	the	autobiography	of	a	talking	,	not	merely	a	mimicking	,	parrot	,	has	jay	mohr	in	the	lead	role	of	the	bird	the	voice	,	not	the	body	and	as	the	minor	character	of	benny	,	a	small	time	crook	who	uses	paulie	to	pull	off	small	scams	like	stealing	twenties	from	atms	.	as	the	parrot	,	mohr	is	delightful	when	director	john	roberts	allows	him	to	cut	up	.	benny	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	a	character	you've	seen	a	thousand	times	before	,	and	mohr	brings	nothing	new	to	that	role	.	roberts's	deliberately	slow	pacing	of	laurie	craig's	script	lends	a	subtle	sweetness	to	its	humor	but	creates	some	definite	problems	.	when	a	kids'	movie	wants	to	mosey	along	,	watch	out	.	if	the	material	is	not	crisp	and	perfectly	composed	,	beauty	can	sometimes	dissolve	into	tedium	.	so	it	is	with	paulie	.	when	they	let	their	bird	do	his	stand	up	comedy	routines	,	the	show	hums	and	the	audience	roars	.	too	often	,	however	,	a	sleepy	silence	ensues	among	the	viewers	as	they	wait	for	the	story	to	pickup	again	.	tony	shalhoub	,	the	smart	mouthed	chef	from	big	night	,	plays	misha	,	a	recent	russian	immigrant	to	the	u	.	s	.	he	had	been	a	teacher	of	literature	at	home	,	but	now	he	makes	his	living	as	a	janitor	in	the	animal	research	lab	to	which	paulie	has	been	taken	for	study	.	although	misha	gets	a	few	nice	lines	(	"	i'm	russian	.	i	like	long	stories	.	"	)	,	his	somber	part	seems	designed	only	to	elicit	our	sympathy	.	besides	paulie	,	the	only	character	worth	noting	other	than	2	cute	small	parts	played	by	cheech	marin	and	gina	rowlands	is	the	speech	impaired	marie	,	played	in	a	precious	performance	by	cinematic	newcomer	,	5	year	old	hallie	kate	eisenberg	.	naturally	enchanting	,	she	gives	the	picture	genuine	heart	.	the	bad	news	is	that	her	part	is	confined	to	the	first	half	.	the	best	scenes	have	the	bird	dancing	and	strutting	to	show	off	his	comedic	skills	.	when	marie's	family	gets	a	cat	,	for	example	,	the	bird	,	who	hasn't	wanted	to	learn	how	to	fly	until	then	,	takes	an	instant	interest	in	soaring	.	tricking	the	cat	while	insulting	him	at	the	same	time	,	paulie	calls	him	a	stupid	hairball	.	their	rapid	physical	antics	add	to	the	humor	of	the	situation	.	it's	good	quality	sitcom	material	but	performed	by	animals	.	when	one	of	the	humans	without	much	of	a	voice	begins	to	sing	,	paulie	cringes	.	"	i'm	a	bird	,	"	he	explains	with	his	frequently	subtle	humor	.	"	i	have	a	small	brain	,	and	it's	about	to	explode	.	"	the	movie	contains	rich	doses	of	john	debney's	dreamy	music	.	with	heavy	use	of	a	solo	violin	,	he	keeps	reinforcing	the	film's	heart	warming	themes	.	and	when	paulie	finally	takes	off	in	flight	,	the	orchestra	comes	up	loud	and	strong	with	cymbals	clashing	.	"	it's	a	long	story	,	"	says	paulie	.	"	it's	the	only	kind	he	knows	,	"	reflects	misha	.	and	the	motion	picture	,	which	runs	the	standard	length	for	a	kids'	movie	,	still	feels	too	long	.	the	best	parts	are	enthralling	,	but	then	there	are	all	of	those	dead	spots	in	between	.	paulie	is	a	movie	that	never	quite	lives	up	to	its	promise	but	manages	to	charm	nevertheless	.	paulie	runs	1	:	32	.	it	is	raged	pg	for	a	few	mild	profanities	and	would	be	fine	for	all	ages	.	my	son	,	jeffrey	,	age	9	,	gave	the	movie	with	his	biggest	complaint	being	that	there	wasn't	enough	action	.	he	thought	paulie	was	funny	,	and	the	actress	that	played	marie	was	quite	good	.	his	friend	sam	,	almost	9	,	thought	the	movie	was	"	awesome	,	excellent	,	"	and	gave	it	.	he	thought	paulie	was	good	,	but	he	didn't	believe	the	way	marie's	speech	impediment	was	acted	.
neg	back	in	1980s	,	chuck	norris	used	to	be	synonym	for	the	action	films	.	he	couldn't	,	of	course	,	top	the	success	and	fame	of	big	action	names	like	sylvester	stallone	or	arnold	schwarzenegger	,	but	sheer	quantity	of	his	films	guaranteed	that	he	was	household	name	among	shoot'em	up	and	beat'em	up	genre	aficionados	.	that	quantity	was	mostly	provided	by	cannon	group	,	prolific	production	company	that	dominated	the	b	movie	market	in	previous	decade	by	flooding	it	with	cheap	,	formulaic	and	,	more	often	than	not	,	unwatchable	genre	products	.	the	hitman	,	1991	action	thriller	directed	by	chuck's	brother	aaron	,	is	one	of	the	last	among	them	.	chuck	norris	here	plays	seattle	cop	betrayed	,	shot	and	left	for	dead	by	his	partner	(	which	shouldn't	surprise	anyone	,	considering	the	fact	that	the	partner	is	being	played	by	michael	parks	,	specialised	for	roles	of	usually	very	mean	characters	)	.	surviving	the	shooting	,	cop	is	pronounced	dead	and	hired	as	deep	undercover	agent	.	he	infiltrates	the	underworld	circles	in	seattle	and	becomes	their	top	hitman	,	using	his	abilities	to	start	brutal	war	between	three	major	crime	organisations	italians	,	french	canadians	and	iranians	.	since	it	is	rather	absurd	to	expect	great	acting	ability	from	chuck	norris	,	at	least	not	in	this	kind	of	movie	,	the	biggest	attraction	of	this	film	should	have	been	action	.	well	,	the	action	in	this	film	falls	flat	it	is	boring	,	repetitive	and	not	at	all	exciting	.	it	is	nothing	more	than	monotonous	series	of	scenes	that	contains	violence	too	brutal	even	for	this	type	of	films	.	we	know	very	little	about	norris'	character	while	,	on	the	other	hand	,	gangsters	are	portrayed	with	more	human	dimension	.	in	the	end	we	almost	feel	sorry	for	them	,	since	they	are	shown	totally	powerless	against	norris	and	his	unstoppable	and	bloody	crusade	.	during	the	film	,	somebody	obviously	became	aware	of	that	problem	,	so	the	screenwriter	introduced	the	subplot	dealing	with	the	black	boy	who	gets	adopted	by	norris	.	that	caused	another	problem	any	questions	about	nature	of	that	relationship	had	to	be	quashed	with	another	subplot	this	one	dealing	with	lady	lawyer	who	sleeps	with	the	hero	and	gets	killed	after	fulfilling	that	screenplay	obligation	.	the	photography	in	this	film	is	dark	,	setting	is	depressive	and	this	forgettable	piece	of	1980s	style	cinema	leaves	viewers	without	any	reason	to	justify	the	hour	and	half	spent	in	watching	it	.
neg	one	night	,	during	a	torrential	downpour	that	flooded	the	streets	,	we	went	to	see	what	else	hard	rain	.	"	so	,	are	we	all	going	to	die	?	"	the	sheriff	(	randy	quaid	)	asks	in	the	story's	opening	line	as	he	evacuates	his	flooded	town	.	the	answer	is	pretty	much	yes	,	but	not	nearly	soon	enough	.	and	to	add	insult	to	injury	,	the	supposedly	dead	,	regretfully	,	often	turn	out	not	to	be	so	.	populating	this	bad	tv	movie	of	the	week	material	are	a	host	of	talented	actors	.	one	can	only	hope	they	were	rewarded	handsomely	for	acting	in	this	hopelessly	muddled	picture	.	besides	the	obvious	hardships	of	acting	most	scenes	while	dog	paddling	in	the	water	,	they	will	all	receive	black	marks	on	their	records	for	appearing	in	this	dismal	movie	.	graham	yost's	script	serves	up	one	cliche	after	another	for	the	actors	,	who	thankfully	managed	to	mumble	quite	a	few	of	the	lines	.	director	mikael	salomon's	staging	is	so	confusing	that	you	may	have	trouble	figuring	out	what	is	happening	.	the	befuddled	presentation	is	exacerbated	by	peter	menzies	,	jr	.	's	dark	and	ugly	cinematography	.	the	plot	concerns	an	armored	car	that	gets	stuck	in	the	raging	water	.	onboard	are	guards	tom	and	his	uncle	charlie	.	christian	slater	,	who	is	much	better	in	his	tender	roles	as	in	untamed	heart	,	plays	tom	.	edward	asner	drops	by	briefly	to	take	on	the	role	of	the	soon	to	be	dead	charlie	.	coming	to	their	"	rescue	"	is	a	gang	headed	by	jim	,	played	on	autopilot	by	the	great	actor	morgan	freeman	.	he	views	the	loot	,	three	million	dollars	worth	,	as	his	retirement	plan	.	the	entire	movie	is	one	big	watery	chase	with	the	sheriff	and	his	posse	tracking	jim	and	his	gang	,	who	are	in	turn	after	tom	.	along	the	way	,	tom	picks	up	a	love	interest	in	the	person	of	a	crucifix	weapon	wielding	woman	named	karen	,	played	in	a	totally	wasted	performance	by	minnie	driver	.	the	action	sequences	are	repetitive	and	without	much	interest	.	they	do	feature	lots	of	explosions	and	gunfire	to	keep	you	awake	.	christopher	young's	emotionless	score	for	the	film	has	a	single	trait	,	ear	shattering	loudness	.	the	plot	holes	are	as	big	as	the	ones	in	the	dam	that	breaks	,	submerging	the	town	.	the	characters	have	an	infinite	number	of	bullets	and	rarely	do	they	have	to	bother	reloading	their	guns	.	the	weapons	and	the	ammunition	spend	most	of	the	time	under	water	or	being	rained	on	but	always	fire	perfectly	.	when	one	of	the	bad	guys	drops	a	gun	into	the	water	,	it	stays	in	the	same	place	until	much	later	when	tom	swims	to	get	it	,	even	though	the	swift	water	is	so	strong	it	is	uprooting	large	trees	.	counting	these	improbabilities	is	one	of	the	more	enjoyable	ways	to	spend	your	time	as	you	wait	for	the	characters	to	kill	each	other	.	the	show	has	a	single	,	but	unprintable	,	good	line	.	betty	white	plays	an	incessantly	bossy	wife	,	and	,	when	her	hen	pecked	husband	finally	told	her	off	,	our	audience	roared	with	laughter	.	the	show	concludes	with	a	sickening	set	of	twists	.	the	best	that	can	be	said	of	the	picture	is	that	it	is	merely	stupefyingly	awful	as	opposed	to	laughably	bad	.	hard	rain	runs	1	:	37	.	it	is	rated	r	for	violence	and	would	be	fine	for	teenagers	.	(	the	two	families	behind	us	shockingly	had	a	half	dozen	preschoolers	among	them	.	)
neg	when	the	film	features	richard	lynch	in	the	role	of	chief	villain	,	you	know	that	you	can	expect	nothing	more	than	a	b	grade	action	movie	.	however	,	since	this	film	also	featured	michael	madsen	,	more	than	capable	character	actor	,	this	time	in	the	role	of	protagonist	,	the	author	of	this	review	decided	to	give	the	film	some	benefit	of	the	doubt	.	however	,	the	very	first	scenes	show	clear	b	grade	action	credentials	madsen	plays	richard	montana	,	tough	policeman	who	raids	a	drug	warehouse	and	make	life	miserable	for	local	crime	lord	mario	gio	(	played	by	lynch	)	.	however	,	the	raid	was	only	partially	successful	,	and	montana	is	getting	the	rap	.	so	,	he	begins	his	own	private	war	against	gio	,	trying	to	penetrate	his	organisation	pretending	to	be	corrupt	.	in	the	process	,	he	meets	gio's	mistress	gina	zamora	(	played	by	rosie	vela	)	and	starts	relationship	with	her	too	.	although	it	doesn't	stink	like	many	of	the	similar	films	can	,	inside	edge	is	mostly	forgettable	b	grade	action	routine	.	nobody	in	this	film	actually	puts	much	effort	,	including	madsen	or	lynch	,	and	this	is	especially	case	with	uninspired	screenwriter	william	tannen	or	director	warren	clarke	.	the	only	not	so	forgettable	element	in	this	film	is	presence	of	former	supermodel	rosie	vela	,	who	,	apart	from	showing	her	more	than	impressive	looks	,	shows	some	of	the	singing	talent	too	.	however	,	this	isn't	reason	enough	for	viewers	to	spend	hour	and	half	watching	a	film	that	they	would	,	in	most	likelihood	,	forget	the	next	day	.
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	the	musketeer	"	(	universal	pictures	)	hollywood	launches	another	assault	on	classic	literature	with	this	50	million	adaptation	of	alexandre	dumas's	novel	that's	strong	on	action	but	weak	on	drama	,	fusing	hong	kong	martial	arts	with	17th	century	swordplay	.	the	story	chronicles	the	adventures	of	the	dashing	d'artagnan	(	justin	chambers	)	as	he	leaves	his	village	of	gascogne	,	headed	for	paris	,	to	join	king	louis	xiii's	elite	guard	,	the	royal	musketeers	,	and	to	search	for	the	man	who	killed	his	parents	14	years	earlier	.	this	puts	him	in	conflict	with	the	formidable	febre	(	tim	roth	)	,	vicious	henchman	for	conniving	cardinal	richelieu	(	stephen	rea	)	.	the	traditional	musketeer	trio	aramis	(	nick	moran	)	,	athos	(	jan	gregor	kremp	)	and	porthos	(	steve	speirs	)	don't	offer	much	help	so	he	turns	to	the	feisty	francesca	(	mena	suvari	)	,	chambermaid	to	the	queen	of	france	(	catherine	deneuve	)	.	scripter	gene	quintano	and	director	cinematographer	peter	hyams	are	primarily	interested	in	the	derring	do	,	as	evidenced	by	choreographer	xin	xin	xiong's	elaborate	but	not	original	stunts	,	including	a	fast	paced	stagecoach	chase	,	a	tavern	brawl	on	rolling	barrels	,	high	wire	acrobatics	with	the	combatants	dangling	from	ropes	,	and	a	ladder	fight	sequence	.	filmed	in	southern	france	,	the	scenery	,	sets	and	costumes	are	spectacular	,	but	the	lighting	is	too	dark	and	editing	is	filled	with	choppy	,	restless	mtv'ish	cuts	.	as	the	swashbuckling	d'artagnan	,	bland	calvin	klein	model	justin	chambers	buckles	where	he	should	be	swashing	,	totally	lacking	on	screen	charisma	,	not	to	mention	acting	skill	.	mena	suvari	,	so	impressive	in	"	american	beauty	,	"	seems	like	a	contemporary	interloper	in	the	royal	court	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	the	musketeer	"	is	a	cinematic	but	shallow	3	.	"	all	for	one	and	one	for	all	"	?	not	this	time	'round	.
neg	well	if	you	are	up	for	stellar	effects	then	this	is	the	movie	for	you	.	because	thats	all	that	there	really	is	.	.	.	.	i	found	that	after	watching	this	movie	it	had	many	many	gaps	and	flaws	in	simple	logic	in	the	plot	.	for	one	thing	,	a	white	leading	actor	who	has	a	black	daughter	does	leave	some	curiosity	.	.	.	.	i	am	not	saying	that	this	isn't	possible	.	.	but	it	does	leave	one	to	wonder	.	.	.	i	know	i	did	.	another	thing	is	that	this	movie	has	sections	which	are	painfully	stretched	out	.	.	.	.	and	certain	scenes	are	repeated	essentially	but	with	slight	variations	.	there	was	one	scene	that	should	have	been	short	.	.	.	but	it	was	horribly	stretched	and	somewhere	in	the	middle	of	it	i	found	myself	thinking	.	.	ok	enough	already	get	on	with	it	.	there	are	also	times	where	you	have	to	wonder	why	things	happen	the	way	they	do	.	.	.	things	just	magically	happen	and	there	is	no	prelude	or	anything	of	the	sort	.	.	.	another	thing	that	i	noticed	towards	the	end	was	that	some	characters	just	vanished	without	a	trace	but	they	were	fairly	major	through	most	of	the	beginning	.	this	movie	is	also	very	predictable	.	.	.	you	can	almost	tell	the	final	story	somewhere	in	the	middle	and	you	definitely	know	what	will	happen	at	a	given	moment	.	.	granted	this	is	hard	to	omit	but	here	its	just	blatant	it	sits	there	and	stares	at	you	.	also	some	of	the	things	that	happen	are	a	little	too	predictable	and	several	cliques	are	repeated	.	.	.	it	gets	boring	at	times	to	tell	you	the	truth	.	.	.	even	though	there	is	still	action	going	on	.	another	little	point	i	might	add	is	that	the	main	character	is	supposed	to	be	a	quiet	chaos	mathematician	not	some	shoot	them	up	type	of	hero	.	some	of	the	characters	are	not	proper	for	their	roles	.	the	acting	is	fine	but	the	characters	just	don't	seem	to	add	up	.	if	i	was	to	base	my	review	totally	on	the	plot	then	i	wouldn't	rate	this	movie	too	highly	but	that's	just	the	thing	this	movie	isn't	just	the	plot	,	its	the	whole	package	and	this	package	is	really	well	done	.	the	whole	movie	is	really	well	done	and	looks	really	good	and	if	one	was	to	overlook	the	flaws	in	the	plot	and	characters	then	this	is	really	a	movie	.	the	special	effects	are	just	amazing	,	you	can't	tell	that	the	dinosaurs	are	created	it	looks	like	they	were	there	live	,	in	a	few	instances	of	course	you	know	its	fake	but	there	are	other	times	that	you	just	wouldn't	be	able	to	say	that	the	creature	wasn't	there	during	filming	,	extinct	or	not	.	another	thing	is	the	destruction	scenes	.	.	.	wow	,	those	were	masterpieces	.	.	well	some	of	them	were	they	were	well	choreographed	and	along	with	the	dino's	make	this	one	of	the	reasons	to	see	this	movie	.	this	movie	is	fairly	long	but	it	is	action	packed	so	it	should	do	well	in	the	box	office	.	.	unfortunately	it	will	take	away	from	fifth	element	but	alas	what	can	we	do	.	.	i	may	be	too	cynical	for	my	age	but	this	movie	is	only	worth	seeing	for	the	effects	and	for	it	few	funny	moments	.	.	go	see	it	in	a	matinee	if	you	really	must	see	it	its	not	worth	full	price	if	you	ask	me	.	one	little	side	note	,	although	my	opinion	of	this	movie	may	not	have	been	the	best	the	way	that	this	movie	was	marketed	and	how	many	theaters	it	was	shown	in	toronto	this	opening	weekend	is	nothing	short	of	stupid	,	there	were	10	theater	movie	theaters	that	were	playing	this	movie	around	the	clock	i	think	that	some	people	really	want	money	badly	.	.	.	.	and	i	think	that	this	type	of	activity	hurts	the	movie	industry	let	the	other	movies	also	have	a	chance	.	.	.	.	you	know	any	movie	with	that	much	play	would	succeed	even	if	it	was	the	worst	movie	ever	made	.	.	.	.	.	i	thought	i'd	put	this	here	to	deflate	the	movie	hype	about	this	flick	.	.	.	its	not	that	bad	a	movie	but	its	not	that	great	either	hope	you	people	realize	this	.
neg	cast	:	martin	lawrence	,	nia	long	,	paul	giamatti	,	jascha	washington	,	terrence	dashon	howard	,	anthony	anderson	,	ella	mitchell	written	by	:	darryl	quarles	and	don	rhymer	directed	by	:	raja	gosnell	running	time	:	98	minutes	screening	theater	:	starnet	pablo	9	theaters	jacksonville	beach	,	fl	what	happens	when	you	put	martin	lawrence	in	a	fat	suit	in	real	life	?	you	get	martin	lawrence	in	a	coma	(	the	comedian	thought	he	was	getting	fat	,	so	he	put	on	numerous	layers	of	heavy	clothing	and	went	jogging	in	100	degree	heat	,	ending	up	in	a	coma	)	.	so	what	happens	when	you	put	martin	lawrence	in	a	fat	suit	in	the	movies	?	you	get	an	audience	in	a	coma	.	in	big	momma's	house	,	lawrence	plays	a	fbi	agent	who's	a	master	of	disguises	.	when	a	naughty	,	naughty	man	escapes	from	jail	and	seeks	out	his	former	girlfriend	(	the	very	sexy	nia	long	.	.	.	the	only	thing	worth	looking	at	in	this	movie	)	,	she	flees	to	georgia	to	stay	with	her	rather	large	southern	aunt	"	big	momma	"	(	ella	mitchell	)	.	the	fbi	follows	her	in	order	to	recover	the	large	sum	of	money	stolen	in	the	bank	robbery	that	sent	the	naughty	man	to	jail	.	however	,	big	momma	is	called	away	on	an	emergency	.	sensing	that	they	could	lose	their	only	chance	to	capture	the	criminal	,	lawrence	goes	undercover	as	big	momma	.	and	let	the	comedy	begin	!	big	momma's	house	is	the	definition	of	a	"	gimmick	"	movie	if	there	ever	was	one	.	the	plot	can	basically	be	summed	up	as	"	martin	lawrence	dresses	up	as	a	fat	woman	"	.	.	.	and	even	that	description	is	too	wordy	.	you	can	just	see	this	script	plotted	out	on	a	chalkboard	with	martin	lawrence	fat	woman	in	the	middle	of	the	board	with	a	big	circle	around	it	,	and	all	sorts	of	clichd	,	"	humorous	"	situations	pointing	to	it	.	fat	woman	plays	basketball	!	fat	woman	takes	a	dump	!	fat	woman	kung	fu	!	well	they	left	one	off	the	board	.	.	.	movie	critic	slips	into	coma	!	paul	giamatti	(	private	parts	,	the	negotiator	)	plays	lawrence's	partner	and	as	much	as	i	enjoy	his	work	,	even	he	can't	inject	life	into	this	lifeless	comedy	.	hell	,	the	greatest	performers	on	the	planet	couldn't	make	this	material	work	.	.	.	it's	just	that	awful	.	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	body	count	(	1997	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1999	justin	felix	.	any	comments	about	this	review	?	contact	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	"	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	a	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	written	by	david	diamond	and	richard	shepard	.	directed	by	kurt	voss	.	starring	alyssa	milano	and	ice	t	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	,	profanity	,	and	sexuality	)	88	mins	.	synopsis	:	nice	girl	susanne	has	sex	with	her	boyfriend	daniel	in	his	car	,	visits	daniel's	rich	family	during	thanksgiving	at	their	mansion	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	,	and	has	sex	with	daniel	again	in	the	basement	.	susanne	and	daniel	must	then	decide	where	to	hide	from	evil	art	thieves	who	shoot	everyone	else	in	the	mansion	to	steal	paintings	.	brace	yourself	for	one	of	those	painfully	obvious	"	surprise	endings	.	"	comments	:	thanksgiving	.	for	most	,	it's	a	time	to	be	with	your	loved	ones	and	enjoy	a	good	,	home	cooked	meal	.	for	the	makers	of	body	count	,	however	,	thanksgiving	is	a	time	for	multiple	murders	,	violence	,	profanity	,	family	dysfunction	,	and	sex	.	boy	,	do	i	feel	all	the	more	better	having	sat	through	this	crap	.	alyssa	milano	,	the	former	child	star	of	who's	the	boss	?	,	matures	to	made	for	video	sludge	like	this	movie	.	someone	somewhere	thought	it'd	be	a	great	idea	to	pair	her	with	rapper	ice	t	,	who	has	since	guest	starred	in	the	made	for	the	sci	fi	channel	series	welcome	to	paradox	.	this	isn't	exactly	a	winning	combination	.	outside	of	permanently	ruining	a	holiday	for	me	,	what	else	may	be	said	for	this	turkey	?	well	,	it	teaches	us	that	beautiful	,	attractive	women	who	look	strikingly	like	alyssa	milano	fall	in	love	with	nerds	who	drive	down	long	winding	roads	with	their	eyes	closed	and	complain	about	being	english	teachers	.	it	presents	us	with	a	heartwarming	thanksgiving	dinner	attended	by	alcoholic	,	stuck	up	rich	white	people	waited	on	by	black	servants	.	it	shows	us	that	old	guys	,	try	not	to	laugh	,	sit	around	and	talk	about	"	the	appeal	of	postmodernism	"	during	their	free	time	.	and	,	it	proves	that	you	can	have	sex	in	your	parents'	basement	when	they	have	a	dozen	or	so	guests	over	,	and	no	one	will	notice	.	before	i	go	any	further	,	if	any	young	male	reading	this	has	hopes	of	seeing	alyssa	naked	,	forget	it	.	the	filmmakers	cleverly	shoot	the	simulated	sex	scenes	in	a	manner	that	makes	sure	you	don't	see	any	of	milano's	attributes	.	they	do	,	however	,	inexplicably	throw	in	a	scene	where	ice	t	whistles	"	jingle	bells	"	after	killing	people	,	for	whatever	that's	worth	.	this	film	was	originally	titled	below	utopia	.	perhaps	they	should	have	renamed	it	hell	.	avoid	this	clunker	.
neg	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	)	(	merry	christmas	from	film	freak	central	!	a	href	"	http	:	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	http	:	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	everything	about	this	ninth	trek	movie	seems	on	the	cheap	,	from	the	roger	corman	grade	special	effects	to	its	highly	derivative	and	ugly	ad	campaign	(	the	poster	is	nearly	identical	to	that	of	star	trek	vi	:	the	undiscovered	country	)	.	but	piller's	not	quite	half	baked	screenplay	should	ultimately	claim	responsibility	for	insurrection's	failure	.	i'm	about	to	give	the	same	advice	to	rick	berman	and	co	.	as	i've	given	to	the	financiers	of	james	bond	movies	:	it's	time	to	breathe	life	into	this	workhorse	by	hiring	solid	genre	writers	and	a	real	director	.	(	while	we're	at	it	,	put	that	visor	back	on	laforge	!	)	for	three	hundred	years	,	the	ba'ku	species	(	who	look	just	like	humans	)	have	lived	on	a	ringed	planet	that	might	as	well	be	called	the	fountain	of	youth	.	six	hundred	of	them	occupy	the	briar	patch	,	the	area	affected	by	metaphasic	radition	,	a	positive	energy	that	reverses	the	aging	process	in	the	elderly	.	but	evil	ru'afo	(	this	is	probably	abraham's	last	stop	before	performing	"	amadeus	"	at	a	dinner	theatre	near	you	)	,	leader	of	the	son'a	(	who	look	just	like	burn	victims	after	reconstructive	surgery	)	,	wants	to	relocate	the	ba'ku	and	movie	his	people	onto	the	briar	patch	in	their	place	,	in	order	to	replenish	his	dying	breed	.	the	federation	is	all	for	this	,	but	picard	feels	this	is	a	direct	violation	of	the	prime	directive	:	to	not	interfere	with	the	development	of	an	alien	race	.	(	never	mind	that	the	ba'ku	didn't	exactly	evolve	they	went	wandering	in	the	universe	one	day	and	stumbled	upon	the	magic	world	.	)	every	time	frakes	gives	an	interview	lately	,	he	seems	to	top	whatever	ludicrous	statement	he	last	gave	regarding	this	installment	.	he	has	called	it	a	comedy	,	a	thinking	man's	picture	,	a	throwback	to	the	old	series	,	and	,	most	grievously	,	he	has	likened	it	to	a	john	ford	western	.	(	i	presume	that's	some	john	ford	he	went	to	school	with	,	not	the	director	of	the	searchers	.	)	he	has	also	gone	on	record	as	saying	paramount	recut	the	film	from	his	version	.	that's	no	excuse	someone	generated	this	footage	.	muddy	cinematography	and	sitcom	sets	are	the	least	of	its	problems	;	star	trek	:	insurrection	appears	to	have	been	beamed	in	from	the	planet	plotholia	.	consider	such	curiosities	.	.	.	picard's	love	interest	,	anij	(	donna	murphy	)	,	can	slow	things	down	by	staring	at	them	(	such	as	a	waterfall	or	falling	rocks	)	her	scientific	explanation	for	this	?	"	don't	ask	.	"	worf	gets	a	pimple	(	he's	re	experiencing	klingon	puberty	thanks	to	the	time	defying	atmosphere	)	,	laforge	regains	his	eyesight	(	trust	me	,	levar	burton's	real	eyes	are	scarier	than	those	electronic	lenses	he	wore	in	first	contact	)	and	troi	brags	about	her	firm	boobs	,	but	picard	remains	as	bald	as	an	android's	butt	.	most	suspiciously	,	what	exactly	is	the	problem	with	letting	this	endangered	race	have	a	little	fun	in	the	sun	?	the	filmmakers	cloud	the	issue	with	some	nonsense	about	a	family	feud	of	sorts	,	and	they	also	turn	ru'afo	into	a	completely	power	mad	superfreak	,	just	so	the	characters	will	have	something	to	do	in	the	climax	.	(	and	if	you've	seen	return	of	the	jedi	,	you've	seen	the	ending	of	this	movie	.	)	didn't	picard	himself	previously	disobey	the	prime	directive	when	he	prevented	the	borg	from	assimilating	millions	?	frakes	lucked	out	with	first	contact	,	and	repeat	viewings	of	that	film	reveal	the	seeds	of	what	went	wrong	in	his	direction	of	insurrection	:	he	has	no	sense	of	comic	timing	,	and	he	mines	for	acting	chemistry	where	none	exists	.	(	take	a	look	at	the	painful	"	troi	gets	drunk	"	scene	in	fc	and	you'll	get	the	general	idea	of	insurrection's	unsuccessfully	jokey	and	hollow	tone	.	)	even	the	worst	shatner	and	co	.	treks	,	like	the	final	frontier	,	maintained	a	watchability	thanks	to	the	effortless	,	charming	comaraderie	between	kirk	,	spock	,	and	bones	.	neither	first	contact	nor	insurrection	has	any	idea	what	to	do	with	crusher	(	gates	mcfadden	,	whom	i	must	say	maintains	a	fabulous	physique	)	,	troi	,	or	laforge	.	and	all	three	next	generation	films	spend	too	much	time	on	data	,	who	is	the	franchise's	answer	to	urkel	.	need	a	cheap	laugh	?	have	data	say	something	sexual	,	or	start	singing	,	or	lift	up	a	four	hundred	pound	boulder	as	if	it's	the	hunk	of	styrofoam	it	really	is	.	here's	my	proposed	title	for	number	10	:	data	star	data	trek	:	data	data	data	data	data	.	in	this	movie	,	data	will	become	preoccupied	with	learning	to	blow	his	nose	,	while	crusher	and	troi	watch	silently	from	500	yards	away	and	laforge	points	his	sinister	gaze	at	the	android	in	doubly	robotic	observation	.	star	trek	:	insurrection	had	one	nice	,	eerie	,	silent	moment	that	hints	at	a	better	,	darker	film	.	i'm	not	saying	all	of	them	should	be	star	trek	ii	:	the	wrath	of	khan	,	but	this	one	boldly	went	where	no	movie	should	go	again	.
neg	cast	:	casper	van	dien	,	michael	york	,	michael	ironside	,	catherine	oxenberg	,	william	hootkins	written	by	:	stephen	blinn	and	hollis	barton	directed	by	:	robert	marcarelli	running	time	:	99	minutes	preposterous	religious	action	film	(	produced	by	the	trinity	broadcasting	network	)	about	a	code	hidden	within	the	text	of	the	bible	that	when	deciphered	will	lead	to	the	end	of	the	world	(	nice	of	those	bible	authors	to	put	a	doomsday	code	into	the	most	read	book	ever	eh	?	)	.	michael	york	plays	a	millionaire	diplomat	who	breaks	the	code	and	sets	out	to	become	god	on	earth	and	fulfill	the	doomsday	prophecies	,	while	casper	van	dien	(	terribly	miscast	and	giving	an	awful	performance	as	a	result	)	plays	the	atheist	motivational	speaker	who	must	stop	him	.	michael	ironside	(	great	as	always	,	despite	the	silly	film	surrounding	him	)	plays	a	fallen	priest	and	right	hand	man	to	michael	york's	character	.	here's	some	subtle	character	development	you	may	have	missed	pertaining	to	ironside's	character	.	now	despite	the	fact	that	we	see	him	murder	a	man	in	the	opening	scene	,	the	filmmakers	aren't	quite	sure	if	their	audience	will	understand	that	he	is	evil	.	how	do	they	fix	that	?	make	specific	efforts	to	show	that	his	character	is	the	only	one	in	the	film	who	smokes	!	there	are	lots	of	ominous	shots	of	michael	ironside	smoking	.	.	.	oooooo	scary	.	but	even	that	wasn't	enough	for	the	filmmakers	apparently	,	as	they	later	have	to	infer	that	ironside's	character	is	gay	!	it	comes	out	of	nowhere	and	just	makes	no	sense	.	my	main	problem	with	this	film	is	that	,	despite	the	silly	story	(	which	could	have	been	pulled	off	.	.	.	anything	can	be	made	believable	if	executed	correctly	)	,	the	events	of	the	film	aren't	shown	with	any	sense	of	urgency	or	importance	.	for	example	,	at	one	point	york's	character	is	declared	chancellor	of	the	world	or	something	,	and	we	see	one	brief	,	cheesy	news	report	about	it	.	the	movie	keeps	telling	us	that	the	apocalypse	is	coming	,	but	it	never	seems	that	way	.	there's	no	"	world	reaction	"	to	anything	.	the	omega	code	is	available	on	dvd	from	goodtimes	home	video	.	it	contains	the	film	in	the	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	85	:	1	,	and	includes	the	original	theatrical	trailer	,	a	documentary	on	the	making	of	the	film	,	production	notes	,	and	cast	and	crew	information	.	the	documentary	runs	about	25	minutes	and	is	actually	surprisingly	good	(	it	looks	as	though	it	was	made	for	broadcast	on	tbn	)	,	and	it	does	a	comprehensive	job	of	interviewing	practically	everyone	in	the	cast	and	crew	(	with	the	exception	of	michael	ironside	,	unfortunately	)	.	the	best	thing	about	it	is	that	whenever	crew	members	are	interviewed	,	they	do	an	excellent	job	of	explaining	their	profession	and	exactly	what	it	is	they	do	on	a	movie	set	.	most	documentaries	tend	to	overlook	this	.	doomsday	expert	hal	lindsey	is	even	interviewed	(	you'll	remember	his	documentary	from	the	1970's	called	the	late	great	planet	earth	,	where	lindsey	speculated	that	jimmy	carter	might	actually	be	the	antichrist	)	.	however	,	at	the	very	beginning	of	the	documentary	the	producers	of	the	film	managed	to	get	on	my	bad	side	.	when	interviewed	they	actually	have	the	nerve	to	say	"	ever	see	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	?	well	,	our	film	is	like	that	!	"	no	it	isn't	.	not	by	a	long	shot	.	pg	13	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	imagine	watching	the	superbowl	,	it's	a	goal	line	stand	with	four	seconds	left	in	the	game	.	the	tension	is	palpable	as	you	clench	and	unclench	your	hands	into	fists	,	waiting	for	the	final	play	.	then	,	just	as	the	play	commences	,	you're	surrounded	by	blaring	rap	music	and	the	screen	suddenly	cuts	to	a	bunch	of	people	in	the	stands	beating	each	other	up	.	this	seems	to	be	the	way	oliver	stone	pictures	football	.	i'm	sure	some	will	call	his	filming	ideas	here	moden	and	innovative	,	but	i	think	obnoxious	is	a	more	fitting	adjective	.	stone's	idea	of	direction	seems	to	involve	the	camera	never	sitting	still	for	more	than	two	seconds	at	a	time	,	and	never	allowing	people	to	speak	without	pounding	music	accompanying	them	which	drowns	out	all	that	they	say	.	the	miami	sharks	are	having	a	terrible	season	.	led	by	head	coach	tony	d'amato	(	al	pacino	)	and	aging	quarterback	cap	rooney	(	dennis	quaid	)	,	they've	lost	their	past	four	games	.	the	team's	owner	has	just	passed	away	and	left	things	in	the	hands	of	his	money	grubbing	daughter	,	christina	pagniacci	(	cameron	diaz	)	.	chistina	wants	to	permanently	bench	cap	after	he	is	injured	,	and	place	third	stringer	willie	beaman	(	jamie	foxx	)	at	the	head	of	the	team	.	the	problem	is	,	the	team	doesn't	much	respect	beaman	despite	his	skills	.	tony	tries	desperately	to	bring	the	team	back	together	as	everything	he	has	worked	to	build	crumbles	around	him	.	after	watching	this	film	,	something	interesting	occured	to	me	.	i	haven't	enjoyed	a	single	movie	which	ll	cool	j	(	playing	the	team's	star	running	back	here	)	has	appeared	in	,	yet	i've	found	his	performance	in	each	of	his	films	to	be	rather	entertaining	.	the	man	is	not	without	talent	,	but	he	doesn't	seem	capable	of	selecting	a	good	film	to	appear	in	.	as	for	the	rest	of	the	cast	,	they	most	likely	would	have	performed	well	if	it	weren't	for	some	of	the	worst	dialogue	ever	written	.	then	again	,	i'm	only	assuming	that	all	the	dialogue	was	terrible	.	i	couldn't	hear	half	of	it	because	the	"	music	"	was	playing	so	loudly	.	on	those	rare	occasions	when	the	film	actually	tries	to	deliver	a	message	,	we're	interrupted	by	a	cutaway	to	clouds	moving	across	the	sky	or	something	similarly	pointless	.	i	always	try	to	point	out	the	good	qualities	in	every	film	i	see	,	but	i'm	hard	pressed	to	do	so	here	.	lawrence	taylor	,	the	hall	of	famer	shows	up	playing	the	team's	linebacker	and	actually	turns	in	one	of	the	film's	better	performances	.	james	woods	shows	up	in	what	amounts	to	little	more	than	a	cameo	as	the	team	doctor	,	and	charleton	heston	is	seen	briefly	playing	the	commisioner	.	the	final	game	of	the	movie	is	vaguely	interesting	,	despite	being	incredibly	predictable	.	that	about	does	it	for	the	good	points	here	.	the	remainder	of	the	film	is	composed	of	pointless	pop	culture	references	,	music	videos	and	inane	speeches	.	"	any	given	sunday	"	runs	insanely	long	at	162	minutes	.	don't	worry	though	,	you	won't	fall	asleep	because	the	music	will	constantly	be	pounding	in	your	ears	.	i'd	recommend	the	film	only	if	you're	a	die	hard	fan	of	either	oliver	stone	or	al	pacino	,	although	pacino	appears	rather	embarassed	to	be	in	this	movie	.	the	movie	contains	a	rather	amusing	little	twist	at	the	very	end	,	but	it's	shown	during	the	credits	.	good	luck	staying	through	the	rest	of	the	film	to	catch	it	.	i	give	"	any	given	sunday	"	one	and	a	half	stars	and	a	recommendation	to	stay	far	,	far	away	.	feel	free	to	e	mail	with	comments	at	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jabii	aol	.	com	"	jabii	aol	.	com	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
neg	the	sequel	to	the	fugitive	(	1993	)	,	u	.	s	marshals	is	an	average	thriller	using	it's	association	with	the	fugitive	just	so	it	can	make	a	few	extra	bucks	.	tommy	lee	jones	returns	to	his	role	as	chief	deputy	samuel	gerard	,	the	grizzly	cop	who	was	after	harrison	ford	in	the	fugitive	.	this	time	,	he's	after	fugitive	mark	sheridan	(	snipes	)	who	the	police	think	killed	two	fbi	agents	,	but	of	course	he's	been	set	up	,	and	when	the	police	plane	escort	he	(	and	gerard	)	are	riding	crashes	,	he	makes	a	run	for	it	,	gerard	not	so	hot	on	his	tail	.	what	follows	is	about	2	hours	of	action	,	brought	to	us	by	the	director	of	executive	decision	(	1995	)	,	another	film	curiously	involving	a	plane	.	when	comparing	this	movie	to	the	fugitive	,	the	prequel	is	far	superior	.	but	even	on	it's	own	,	u	.	s	marshals	is	a	pretty	lousy	movie	.	while	the	original	was	reasonably	intelligent	,	and	had	a	fugitive	to	root	for	,	the	audience	feels	strangely	distanced	from	snipes	fugitive	,	mainly	because	we	know	so	little	about	him	until	way	into	the	film's	overlong	running	time	.	while	the	fugitive	gave	a	little	time	to	develop	harrison	fords	character	,	u	.	s	marshals	is	straight	in	there	,	pulling	it's	trump	card	(	the	place	crash	)	almost	immediately	.	to	be	honest	,	i	couldn't	care	less	if	snipe's	character	got	captured	or	not	.	snipes	performance	is	average	,	and	his	character	gets	surprisingly	little	screen	time	(	considering	he	is	the	fugitive	)	for	reasons	i'll	explain	later	.	tommy	lee	jones	is	as	fine	as	ever	,	although	his	role	is	hardly	a	challenge	.	the	sense	of	deja	vu	was	overwhelming	.	i	know	it's	the	same	role	from	the	fugitive	,	but	there	is	seemingly	no	attempt	to	develop	his	character	from	the	last	film	.	there's	a	few	'nudge	nudge'	references	from	the	first	film	,	but	apart	from	that	,	nothing	.	nobody	even	mentions	harrison	ford	in	this	movie	.	downey	jnr	is	ok	as	fbi	agent	john	royce	who's	roped	into	the	chase	,	and	sexy	french	actress	irene	jacob	wanders	in	and	out	of	the	movie	as	snipes	wife	.	nobody	looks	as	if	their	having	a	good	time	,	and	all	the	performers	are	on	autopilot	.	the	supporting	cast	are	o	.	k	,	but	when	it	comes	to	performances	,	u	.	s	marshals	falls	flat	on	it's	face	.	it	doesn't	fare	any	better	plot	wise	,	either	.	the	film	starts	off	with	gerard	trying	to	capture	snipes	,	but	then	veers	off	into	terrorists	territory	.	as	said	above	,	the	film	is	an	normal	,	average	terrorist	thriller	,	seen	a	million	times	before	,	but	is	using	the	fugitive	reputation	to	make	it	sound	more	professional	.	if	this	film	wasn't	the	'sequel'	to	the	fugitive	,	this	would	probably	go	straight	to	video	,	or	not	even	been	made	at	all	,	because	it's	so	average	.	and	because	of	the	film's	plot	changing	it's	course	,	snipes	is	almost	forgotten	apart	,	and	hardly	features	in	the	movie	.	stuart	baird	,	the	director	,	is	all	right	,	but	there's	no	particular	scene	that	stands	out	.	it's	director	is	the	usual	action	movie	style	.	even	the	plane	crash	is	sorely	lacking	in	tension	.	the	special	effects	are	nice	,	especially	the	plane	crash	,	and	there's	a	good	(	if	very	loud	)	soundtrack	by	veteran	composer	jerry	goldsmith	.	but	in	the	end	,	u	.	s	marshals	suffers	from	an	overwhelmingly	lack	of	excitement	.	sure	,	it's	loud	and	dumb	,	but	in	the	end	u	.	s	marshals	just	ain't	fun	.	bored	performers	and	a	lackluster	plot	and	script	,	do	not	make	a	good	action	movie	.	overall	rating	out	of	review	by	david	wilcock	web	space	provided	by	geocities	david	wilcock	a	href	"	mailto	:	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	"	david	.	wilcock	btinternet	.	com	a	visit	the	wilcock	movie	page	!	a	href	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	"	http	:	wilcockmovie	.	home	.	ml	.	org	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	9061	a	recieve	wilcock	movie	page	reviews	via	your	e	mail	send	a	blank	e	mail	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	"	wmp	reviews	subscribe	makelist	.	com	a	to	join	the	mailing	list	!
neg	starring	jeff	daniels	,	christopher	lloyd	,	elizabeth	hurley	and	darryl	hannah	directed	by	donald	petrie	running	time	:	1	hour	33	minutes	i	love	movies	.	i	really	do	.	every	time	i	watch	great	movies	like	goodfellas	(	1990	)	or	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	(	1981	)	,	a	tear	comes	to	my	eye	due	to	the	awesome	talent	,	skill	and	entertainment	that	is	on	display	.	even	lower	grade	films	such	as	the	naked	gun	33	1	3	(	1994	)	or	ghostbusters	ii	(	1988	)	while	not	exactly	brilliantly	well	made	,	are	certainly	not	a	waste	of	celluloid	and	present	entertainment	value	.	then	there's	my	favourite	martian	,	the	exact	opposite	of	what	a	movie	should	be	:	a	hurried	,	poorly	written	and	acted	movie	with	one	goal	,	to	make	money	.	disney	,	ever	since	the	lion	king	(	1994	)	have	lost	their	magic	touch	,	but	this	dross	just	shows	how	far	disney	have	sunk	.	christopher	lloyd	plays	a	martian	who	crash	lands	in	front	of	t	.	v	reporter's	tim	o'hara	car	(	daniels	)	,	and	soon	tim	finds	the	martian	in	his	home	,	trying	to	recover	and	fix	his	spaceship	.	along	with	his	'zoot'	spacesuit	,	voiced	by	wayne	knight	,	must	fix	his	spaceship	before	it	explodes	,	and	also	try	to	stop	his	identity	being	revealed	to	the	public	,	firstly	by	o'hara	,	but	later	by	rival	t	.	v	presenter	brace	channing	(	hurley	)	,	by	calling	himself	tim's	'uncle	martin	.	'	'laughter'	is	supposed	to	arise	from	the	'comical'	events	,	but	never	does	.	many	bad	films	have	good	intentions	,	but	my	favourite	martian	doesn't	appear	to	try	to	provide	any	entertainment	.	filled	to	the	brim	with	wham	bang	special	effects	,	my	favourite	martian	offers	little	more	than	some	nice	eye	candy	.	christopher	lloyd	mugs	his	way	through	the	entire	movie	,	i've	never	seen	a	man	pull	a	face	for	93	minutes	until	now	.	jeff	daniels	plays	'staple	nice	guy'	and	his	role	is	useless	.	his	performance	is	incredibly	lazy	,	although	his	paperthin	character	doesn't	deserve	more	than	the	performance	he	gives	.	darryl	hannah	looks	as	pretty	as	ever	,	but	her	role	is	somewhat	,	erm	,	limited	.	hurley	mistakes	'acting'	for	'shouting	and	looking	like	a	twit'	and	wins	the	david	wilcock	award	for	'most	irritating	,	godawful	performance	in	a	moving	picture	.	'	way	to	go	liz	!	for	the	supporting	cast	,	disney	manage	to	assemble	every	character	actor	out	there	,	during	the	film	i	was	going	'he	was	the	guy	in	.	.	.	ah	.	.	er	.	.	.	'	before	finally	giving	up	and	switching	off	.	another	major	setback	is	the	staple	'comedy	sidekick	.	'	unfortunately	,	the	writers	(	sherri	stoner	and	deanna	oliver	,	if	anyone	cares	)	forget	that	a	comedy	sidekick	needs	to	be	'funny	.	'	instead	,	they	deliver	zoot	,	the	martians	deeply	unfunny	sidekick	.	although	meant	to	be	a	manic	character	no	doubt	,	every	line	that	comes	out	of	his	'neck'	is	a	dud	.	a	real	dud	.	citizen	kane	delivers	more	laughs	a	minute	than	his	hell	spawn	piece	of	polyester	.	even	the	kids	in	the	audience	were	insulted	by	this	character	:	not	one	child	even	bothered	to	smirk	.	it's	a	nice	special	effect	,	though	.	another	problems	with	this	comedy	are	the	gags	themselves	.	or	rather	,	the	lack	of	them	.	my	favourite	martian	reaches	a	new	level	of	toilet	humour	:	it	goes	past	the	bowl	,	down	the	pipe	and	into	the	sewer	.	now	,	toilet	humour	can	be	funny	,	as	dumb	and	dumber	(	1994	)	humorously	showed	.	but	here	,	characters	farting	,	belching	and	almost	getting	crapped	on	(	literally	)	is	not	'amusing	.	'	it's	insulting	.	there's	one	good	gag	right	before	the	credits	,	but	it	appears	the	guy	who	wrote	that	gag	tragically	died	and	his	unfunny	twin	continued	.	either	that	,	or	they	were	hoping	that	easy	to	please	six	year	olds	wouldn't	mind	the	fact	that	his	movie	is	beaten	by	men	at	work	in	the	funny	stakes	.	yes	,	men	at	work	.	yowza	!	the	fact	that	a	lot	of	money	was	pumped	into	this	film	,	and	that	they	actually	got	people	to	agree	to	be	in	this	film	just	depresses	me	even	more	.	there	are	thousands	of	brilliant	films	out	there	that	can't	get	distribution	,	yet	trash	like	this	gets	released	nation	wide	with	ease	.	thankfully	,	as	soon	as	it	makes	it's	money	,	it	will	never	be	seen	again	,	and	my	favourite	martian	will	end	up	where	the	two	lead	characters	do	near	the	end	of	the	movie	:	down	the	toilet	.
neg	hr	cast	:	dina	meyer	,	lou	diamond	phillips	,	leon	,	bob	gunton	,	carlos	jacott	written	by	:	john	logan	directed	by	:	louis	morneau	running	time	:	91	minutes	"	.	.	.	because	i'm	a	scientist	.	that's	what	we	do	!	"	dr	.	alexander	mccabe	(	bob	gunton	)	,	in	response	to	why	he	created	evil	bats	.	alright	folks	,	stop	me	if	you've	heard	this	one	:	genetically	altered	animals	wreak	havoc	on	a	town	and	a	small	band	of	locals	,	assisted	by	a	specialist	in	the	particular	animal's	field	,	must	team	up	to	stop	the	mutant	creatures	before	they	can	multiply	and	spread	across	the	earth	.	oh	yeah	,	the	military	is	on	their	way	to	bomb	the	town	as	well	,	so	they	are	running	short	on	time	.	sound	familiar	?	such	is	the	plot	of	the	destination	films	release	of	bats	.	dina	meyer	stars	as	the	"	bat	specialist	"	sheila	,	who	is	pulled	from	her	research	(	along	with	her	annoying	sidekick	,	played	with	irritating	deftness	by	leon	)	in	order	to	help	a	small	texas	town	figure	out	why	some	local	citizens	and	animals	have	been	chewed	to	death	recently	.	with	the	help	of	the	local	sheriff	(	lou	diamond	phillips	)	,	a	cdc	official	(	carlos	jacott	)	,	and	a	scientist	(	bob	gunton	)	,	sheila	discovers	it	is	indeed	bats	(	who	have	been	genetically	altered	by	gunton's	character	to	be	more	aggressive	and	omnivorous	,	in	order	to	be	used	as	a	military	weapon	!	)	.	i	have	to	say	here	that	i	knew	exactly	what	i	was	getting	into	going	into	this	film	.	there's	not	a	frame	of	promotional	footage	i	have	seen	for	the	film	that	would	have	led	me	to	believe	it	was	going	to	be	any	good	.	in	this	respect	,	the	film	never	disappointed	me	.	this	film	reaches	a	level	that	transcends	the	"	so	bad	it's	good	"	level	and	borders	on	the	downright	insane	.	the	effects	are	awful	,	the	script	is	contrived	,	and	for	most	of	the	feature	i	was	laughing	at	things	that	were	supposed	to	be	taken	seriously	(	i	think	)	.	i	challenge	anyone	to	sit	through	the	scene	,	where	a	bat	stalks	a	baby	in	a	crib	while	another	bat	terrorizes	a	patron	eating	at	a	diner	,	with	a	straight	face	.	thankfully	,	the	performances	are	as	good	as	they	can	be	considering	the	material	the	actors	had	to	perform	with	.	dina	meyer	has	always	been	the	highlight	of	any	of	the	films	she	has	been	in	(	johnny	mnemonic	,	dragonheart	,	and	starship	troopers	.	.	.	the	latter	being	the	only	film	out	of	that	batch	with	any	actual	merit	)	,	and	this	one	is	no	exception	.	while	one	never	really	gets	the	impression	that	meyer's	character	could	be	a	bat	expert	in	reality	,	one	never	really	cares	to	doubt	it	either	.	she	gives	as	good	a	performance	as	could	be	expected	,	plus	she's	nice	to	look	at	for	an	hour	and	a	half	.	lou	diamond	phillips	is	also	serviceable	here	,	as	the	small	town	sheriff	turned	eventual	hero	.	although	when	we	first	meet	his	character	he	knows	bats	are	the	reason	for	what's	going	on	in	town	,	for	some	reason	later	on	he	suddenly	becomes	amazed	to	learn	that	the	actual	cause	of	the	deaths	in	town	are	because	of	bats	.	the	only	bad	performance	in	the	film	is	that	of	leon's	.	he	is	relegated	to	the	"	i'm	not	sticking	around	here	!	"	character	and	proceeds	to	repeat	variations	of	that	line	for	the	majority	of	the	film	even	though	he	stays	.	anyone	who	can't	immediately	tell	that	bob	gunton	(	the	bad	guy	in	patch	adams	and	countless	other	films	)	is	going	to	eventually	turn	on	the	gang	and	side	with	his	creations	before	his	eminent	death	will	probably	be	surprised	,	but	i	highly	doubt	it	.	even	if	he	hadn't	been	the	villain	in	just	about	every	film	he's	ever	been	in	,	so	many	obvious	hints	are	given	to	indicate	the	devious	act	that	it	holds	no	shock	whatsoever	.	in	fact	,	his	death	is	welcome	,	because	it	finally	starts	moving	the	plot	towards	the	finale	.	if	the	plot	doesn't	sound	ridiculous	to	you	yet	,	then	check	out	these	little	tidbits	:	a	multitude	of	bats	inexplicably	disperses	when	a	police	officer	cocks	his	pistol	.	an	entire	town	disregards	the	sheriff	and	doctor's	orders	to	stay	indoors	after	a	curfew	is	instigated	,	causing	mass	hysteria	when	the	bats	come	out	in	full	force	,	killing	several	townsfolk	.	a	government	official	blows	off	shelia's	instructions	(	to	wait	until	dawn	to	install	a	cooling	unit	in	the	bats'	cave	that	will	kill	all	of	them	off	)	by	pulling	a	night	job	,	resulting	in	the	death	of	an	entire	military	unit	.	a	cavern	full	of	bat	feces	never	ignites	when	a	phosphorus	flare	is	lit	right	in	the	middle	of	it	.	finally	,	to	top	it	all	off	,	this	little	texas	town	is	showing	nosferatu	in	it's	single	screen	theater	(	for	reference	,	our	town	has	over	a	million	people	in	it	with	nearly	150	movie	screens	,	and	we're	lucky	to	even	get	kevin	smith's	dogma	)	.	the	most	laughable	part	of	the	movie	though	comes	from	the	ill	conceived	bat	puppets	.	while	the	actual	bat	attack	scenes	are	shot	with	rapid	fire	editing	(	making	the	scenes	nearly	impossible	to	comprehend	what's	going	on	)	,	the	scenes	where	a	bat	is	called	upon	to	interact	with	a	live	actor	are	usually	shot	more	low	key	.	therefore	we	the	audience	get	loving	close	ups	of	the	most	unrealistic	,	rubbery	bat	puppets	ever	committed	to	film	.	being	able	to	see	the	puppeteer's	arms	would	be	the	only	things	that	could	have	made	these	creations	worse	.	after	all	of	this	,	if	you	still	decide	bats	might	be	the	movie	for	you	,	don't	say	you	haven't	been	warned	.	trust	me	when	i	say	that	it's	a	lot	more	fun	to	trash	than	it	is	to	sit	through	.	i	just	wish	that	dina	meyer	would	be	cast	in	more	roles	or	at	least	choose	better	films	to	appear	in	.	she's	definitely	a	talent	that	is	going	to	waste	in	films	like	these	.
neg	for	more	reviews	,	go	to	a	href	"	http	:	surf	.	to	joblo	"	http	:	surf	.	to	joblo	a	tv	stars	tim	allen	and	kirstie	alley	jump	into	a	cinematic	comedy	about	a	rich	couple	having	to	deal	with	the	sudden	loss	of	all	of	their	assets	.	plot	:	rich	,	self	absorbed	husband	and	wife	team	fall	into	major	irs	problems	,	when	their	accountant	steals	from	their	funds	,	and	flees	the	country	.	forced	to	hide	from	the	government	until	their	lawyer	gets	things	settled	,	the	duo	crash	in	on	an	amish	community	,	and	pretend	to	be	long	lost	cousins	.	then	,	the	"	hilarity	"	begins	.	critique	:	uninspired	,	predictable	,	and	mostly	unfunny	comedy	that	joins	trial	and	error	(	4	10	)	in	proving	that	for	some	reason	,	hollywood	executives	like	to	correlate	bad	comedies	with	longer	run	times	(	this	one	clocks	in	at	a	little	under	two	hours	.	)	i	never	really	understood	why	people	in	the	woods	of	holly	liked	to	explore	the	amish	community	to	such	an	extent	in	film	,	and	this	bad	movie	does	little	to	resolve	my	unanswerable	query	.	kingpin	(	8	10	)	successfully	stepped	through	such	a	community	last	year	,	but	this	movie	just	doesn't	gather	any	comedy	or	originality	out	of	this	age	old	community	of	people	.	in	regards	to	the	actors	,	tim	allen	doesn't	add	anything	to	this	horrible	punch	,	and	alley	barely	musters	any	added	value	,	after	she	spends	the	first	hour	and	a	half	of	the	film	whining	about	her	newfound	situation	.	larry	miller	is	actually	pretty	funny	as	the	overly	exuberant	irs	agent	on	their	tail	(	he	carries	a	large	gun	with	him	at	all	times	.	)	but	other	than	him	,	the	film	is	basically	retreading	the	old	"	fish	out	of	water	"	tale	for	the	umpteenth	time	,	without	a	whimper	of	innovation	or	entertainment	.	the	worst	part	about	this	movie	is	that	even	the	lame	attempts	at	humour	are	marred	by	adult	content	,	which	disavows	any	kids	from	seeing	this	dud	on	video	.	and	to	top	that	off	,	they	decide	to	pull	another	pseudo	case	of	my	giant	(	6	10	)	and	get	semi	serious	near	the	end	of	the	film	(	this	is	where	we	recognize	these	people	as	regular	folks	like	you	and	i	with	hearts	.	)	not	one	laugh	out	loud	joke	here	.	nothing	original	to	add	to	anything	based	in	amish	folklore	.	actors	are	very	generic	in	their	roles	.	avoid	this	one	at	all	costs	,	and	please	try	to	recommend	it	to	those	all	those	people	who	you	deeply	despise	.	by	the	way	,	if	you	do	happen	to	rent	it	by	mistake	,	at	least	stay	tuned	for	the	outtakes	during	the	end	credits	.	they	are	actually	the	only	snickerable	things	in	the	whole	movie	(	not	a	good	sign	.	)	little	known	facts	:	in	1978	,	tim	allen	spent	28	months	in	jail	after	being	arrested	for	attempted	drug	dealing	.	his	real	name	is	timothy	allen	dick	.	he	has	nine	brothers	and	sisters	.	kirstie	alley	stands	5	"	7	,	and	is	a	member	of	the	church	of	scientology	.	she	was	part	of	tv's	"	cheers	"	ensemble	cast	from	1987	to	1993	.	larry	miller's	most	famous	role	was	as	the	nice	rodeo	drive	salesman	to	julia	roberts	in	1990's	pretty	woman	(	7	.	5	10	)	.	director	bryan	spicer's	previous	attempt	at	cinematic	humour	was	the	ill	fated	mchale's	navy	.
neg	there	is	a	particular	kind	of	pleasure	in	seeing	a	really	bad	movie	at	least	you	have	the	advantage	of	expressing	anger	,	frustration	,	or	resentment	a	visceral	response	of	some	kind	,	no	matter	how	unsatisfying	that	is	.	don't	let	me	die	on	a	sunday	won't	even	give	you	the	satisfaction	of	disgust	or	hatred	;	it	is	simply	too	dull	for	that	.	after	a	wild	techno	music	party	infused	with	all	kinds	of	sex	,	drugs	and	alcohol	,	a	young	woman	named	terese	(	lodie	bouchez	)	arrives	at	the	local	morgue	:	she	is	pronounced	dead	from	a	drug	overdose	.	her	beautiful	corpse	attracts	the	attention	of	a	gloomy	,	violent	morgue	attendant	named	ben	(	jean	marc	barr	)	,	a	necrophiliac	whose	sexual	voracity	is	so	powerful	it	brings	the	woman	back	to	life	.	with	ben	,	she	discovers	an	alternative	lifestyle	a	subculture	of	sex	fanatics	,	latex	,	nipple	clamps	,	and	other	trappings	of	a	supposedly	promiscuous	sexual	underworld	.	with	this	premise	,	the	film	could	have	been	realized	as	a	farce	or	at	least	black	comedy	,	had	it	managed	to	have	a	drop	of	humor	and	panache	in	presenting	such	distasteful	material	.	instead	,	what	could	have	been	a	wild	quest	for	endless	sexual	gratification	is	realized	in	boring	series	of	catatonic	sexual	gyrations	,	completely	devoid	of	fun	and	pleasure	.	the	film	becomes	an	odyssey	of	dead	people	walking	:	aloof	and	desensitized	,	they	inhabit	the	world	of	dark	hallways	,	sex	clubs	,	morgue	corridors	,	and	vast	empty	spaces	.	their	world	is	a	place	in	which	normal	human	relationships	can't	possibly	be	found	:	ben	and	his	fellow	co	workers	escape	what	they	call	ordinary	life	in	pursuit	of	orgies	,	death	worship	,	petty	violence	,	and	emotional	vacuum	.	the	most	unfortunate	of	all	is	that	the	film	treats	its	material	with	a	straight	face	and	frightening	absence	of	imagination	and	humor	,	and	for	those	interested	in	adventuresome	french	sexual	escapades	without	even	a	slight	attempt	to	be	daring	or	transgressive	.	even	the	wonderful	lodie	bouchez	,	who	won	the	best	actress	award	at	cannes	in	1999	for	her	outstanding	performance	in	the	dreamlife	of	angels	can't	bring	life	to	this	utter	nullity	of	a	movie	.	my	feeble	attempts	to	excavate	the	meaning	of	love	,	life	,	and	death	out	of	this	morgue	land	have	obviously	failed	ignominiously	.
neg	director	doug	ellin's	kissing	a	fool	,	released	earlier	this	year	,	is	an	aptly	titled	comedy	about	two	plastic	couples	housed	in	an	artificial	story	.	like	a	sitcom	with	jokes	so	lame	that	it	would	be	impossible	to	overlay	a	laugh	track	on	it	,	the	movie	meanders	along	insulting	the	viewers'	intelligence	in	almost	every	frame	.	the	script	by	james	frey	and	the	director	is	filled	with	vapid	actors	who	read	meaningless	lines	you've	heard	before	.	(	"	i'm	not	wearing	any	underwear	,	"	the	bimbo	tells	the	famous	sportscaster	,	max	,	in	what	she	assumes	will	be	a	sure	fire	come	on	line	.	)	max	,	chicago's	biggest	playboy	,	decides	to	get	married	after	a	whirlwind	love	affair	with	sam	,	short	for	samantha	.	max	and	sam	possess	two	irritating	personalities	,	and	they	hold	little	chemistry	for	each	other	or	the	audience	.	max	is	played	without	any	style	by	david	schwimmer	.	schwimmer	,	whose	acting	talent	is	playing	characters	devoid	of	personality	,	makes	an	unlikely	lover	.	his	costar	,	mili	avital	as	sam	,	is	cut	from	the	same	cloth	,	so	they	can	be	argued	to	be	a	matched	pair	.	after	all	,	people	of	the	same	intelligence	are	naturally	drawn	to	each	other	,	ditto	for	similar	looks	,	so	why	shouldn't	the	personality	challenged	be	attracted	?	the	implausible	plot	has	max	asking	his	best	friend	,	jay	(	jason	lee	)	,	to	hit	on	sam	as	a	test	.	jay	is	supposed	to	try	to	get	her	to	sleep	with	him	,	but	stop	short	of	the	actual	act	.	max	,	being	promiscuous	by	nature	,	worries	that	his	future	bride	may	have	the	same	need	to	sleep	around	as	he	does	.	the	idea	of	flirting	with	the	beautiful	sam	makes	jay	so	sick	that	he	becomes	unable	to	eat	or	work	.	neither	the	script	nor	the	actors	make	this	test	believable	.	"	the	64	,	000	question	is	:	how	do	you	know	you're	with	the	wrong	person	so	you	can	avoid	wreaking	havoc	on	major	parts	of	your	life	?	"	jay	asks	in	one	of	the	unsuccessful	attempts	at	adding	some	seriousness	to	the	film	.	finally	,	there	is	the	film's	attempt	at	physical	comedy	.	jay's	ex	girlfriend	natasha	(	vanessa	angel	)	becomes	infatuated	with	jay	again	once	she	thinks	he	is	going	out	with	someone	else	.	natasha	rips	jay's	shirt	open	after	pushing	him	down	onto	the	sofa	.	as	she	throws	her	hair	on	his	bare	chest	,	she	demands	he	pull	it	.	this	is	supposed	to	be	funny	?	most	films	have	some	saving	grace	.	some	bit	part	was	done	especially	well	or	some	scene	managed	to	be	funny	even	if	the	rest	of	the	picture	wasn't	.	kissing	a	fool	,	on	the	other	hand	,	has	nothing	to	recommend	it	.	kissing	a	fool	runs	1	:	45	.	it	is	rated	r	for	profanity	and	sexuality	and	would	be	acceptable	for	most	teenagers	.
neg	how	typical	!	joel	schumacher	,	who	is	currently	destabilizing	,	dismantling	,	and	destroying	the	batman	franchise	,	has	taken	a	different	turn	,	definitely	not	for	the	better	with	his	latest	effort	(	ha	!	)	entitled	'8mm'	.	once	again	schumacher	(	who	should	be	relegated	to	directing	t	.	v	.	commercials	and	music	videos	)	pushes	us	away	instead	,	and	instead	of	drawing	us	in	,	he	makes	the	fatal	mistake	of	handing	the	audience	a	movie	that	has	too	much	literal	meaning	and	not	enough	space	to	let	the	audience	digest	one	course	before	he	crams	another	down	our	throats	.	it	would	have	been	a	pleasant	experience	to	see	this	film	use	violence	,	pornography	and	psychotic	lunatics	as	a	metaphor	for	a	missing	persons	case	that	had	great	potential	contained	within	its	story	line	.	but	instead	,	schumacher	and	writer	andrew	kevin	walker	(	'seven'	)	,	have	given	us	a	movie	that	is	as	pleasant	as	going	through	a	fun	house	with	actual	booby	traps	rigged	to	literally	kill	you	.	nicolas	cage	stars	as	a	pittsburgh	private	investigator	who	takes	a	case	offered	to	him	by	a	wealthy	widow	and	her	business	manager	attorney	(	anthony	heald	)	.	the	woman's	husband	was	an	industrial	czar	.	upon	settling	his	estate	a	strange	8mm	film	exists	that	was	in	his	possession	that	basically	turns	out	to	be	a	sadistic	porno	film	where	a	young	woman	is	sexually	tortured	.	it's	not	certain	that	she	was	murdered	which	is	the	thrust	of	the	case	:	to	find	out	if	she	was	.	cage	finds	the	girl's	mother	(	amy	morton	)	who	wants	answers	in	the	disappearance	of	her	daughter	.	his	investigation	of	the	case	takes	him	to	los	angeles	where	he	meets	a	porno	shop	employee	(	joaquin	phoenix	)	who	helps	cage	find	disruptive	and	illegal	material	in	porno's	sickest	places	where	the	young	woman	in	question	may	have	been	photographed	.	cage's	search	also	takes	him	to	new	york	where	he	encounters	some	seedy	and	unspeakably	evil	porno	peddlers	(	james	gandolfini	and	peter	stormare	)	who	turn	out	to	be	killers	in	disguise	.	1989's	'field	of	dreams'	is	not	a	baseball	film	.	it	used	baseball	as	a	poetic	metaphor	to	help	a	man	"	ease	his	pain	"	and	redeem	himself	.	it's	probably	the	best	film	in	the	last	decade	to	find	a	subject	like	baseball	,	and	use	it	as	a	metaphor	to	project	the	image	of	good	story	telling	.	'8mm'	goes	right	for	the	jugular	in	all	the	wrong	ways	and	looks	a	lot	like	a	big	budget	porno	film	and	can	be	described	as	a	movie	becoming	a	victim	of	its	own	subject	matter	that	wallows	in	the	excess	of	its	own	seediness	and	has	little	room	for	the	audience	to	react	in	anything	more	than	standard	fashion	.	the	film	at	times	just	seems	to	be	going	through	the	motions	with	wooden	direction	,	a	bland	performance	by	cage	and	a	clandestine	feeling	of	being	trapped	already	experienced	by	1995's	'seven'	.	another	problem	with	this	film	is	its	editing	.	it's	too	static	at	times	and	too	quick	at	other	times	and	comes	across	as	very	sloppy	and	uneven	.	some	of	the	situations	and	dialogue	are	also	absurd	.	we	see	that	cage	has	a	wife	(	catherine	keener	)	and	baby	daughter	and	his	wife	is	constantly	showing	her	faithful	traits	towards	her	husband	and	supports	him	in	his	career	and	later	in	the	film	,	she	threatens	to	leave	him	if	his	work	continues	to	dominate	his	life	.	a	bit	much	after	showing	her	support	earlier	in	the	film	.	it	seems	totally	out	of	character	for	her	and	a	contradiction	on	the	writer's	part	.	big	,	brooding	,	and	unpleasant	without	making	you	feel	entertained	are	just	some	ways	to	describe	'8mm'	which	is	artificial	entertainment	disguised	as	a	wannabe	thriller	that	had	audiences	i	saw	with	it	,	bolt	for	the	door	upon	the	first	closing	credit	on	the	screen	.
neg	first	troy	beyer	wrote	the	critically	panned	"	b	.	a	.	p	.	s	.	"	now	she	makes	her	directorial	debut	,	writing	,	directing	,	and	starring	in	this	sub	par	film	about	women	talking	about	sex	.	though	not	without	redeeming	qualities	,	this	film	is	bad	.	the	basic	story	follows	three	single	friends	jazz	(	beyer	)	,	lena	(	randi	ingerman	)	,	and	michelle	(	paget	brewster	)	in	their	search	for	love	.	jazz	has	an	idea	for	a	local	talk	show	;	it	would	feature	women	talking	about	sex	and	dating	.	she	and	her	friends	make	a	demo	tape	of	interviews	with	the	women	of	miami	.	the	film	itself	is	sprinkled	with	these	real	interviews	throughout	,	both	as	part	of	the	plot	and	as	commentary	on	the	situations	of	the	main	characters	.	the	fact	that	they	are	real	provides	a	refreshing	break	from	some	of	the	more	melodramatic	moments	in	the	film	.	there	are	several	moments	of	bad	acting	,	corny	dialogue	,	and	emotional	overextension	.	in	a	low	budget	independent	film	from	a	first	time	director	,	these	faults	can	sometimes	be	forgiven	,	if	the	screenplay	is	fresh	and	solid	.	that	is	not	the	case	here	.	the	script	suffers	from	random	plot	developments	.	there	are	four	or	five	of	these	turns	in	the	plot	,	each	one	raising	the	question	"	where	did	that	come	from	?	"	at	one	point	,	a	character	has	a	lifelong	reconciliation	with	her	mother	.	we	are	supposed	to	be	moved	,	but	since	the	scene	is	completely	un	led	up	to	,	we	really	don't	care	if	she	and	her	mother	get	along	.	we've	never	seen	her	mother	before	.	we	never	see	her	again	.	who	cares	?	what's	worse	,	these	sudden	developments	are	supposed	to	engage	our	sympathy	.	at	another	point	,	a	character	announces	that	she	can't	have	children	.	apparently	,	this	is	devastating	.	we	wouldn't	know	this	because	she	never	talked	about	having	kids	before	,	but	we	are	nevertheless	expected	to	be	devastated	for	her	.	the	scene	feels	like	an	afterthought	,	its	emotion	manipulative	and	shallow	.	these	scenes	grow	worse	and	worse	,	culminating	in	an	absurd	climax	.	two	scenes	were	played	with	such	overwhelming	melodrama	that	i	found	myself	laughing	.	one	scene	is	a	lover's	spat	between	two	minor	characters	.	the	other	has	the	main	characters	expressing	their	copious	grief	by	cleaning	house	in	wails	of	despair	and	clouds	of	ajax	.	thinking	on	these	scenes	,	it	is	hard	for	me	to	admit	that	the	film	has	redeeming	qualities	.	but	it	does	.	first	,	it	is	original	.	we	men	often	wonder	what	women	talk	about	when	they	are	alone	in	groups	,	and	i	imagine	this	film	gives	me	a	pretty	good	idea	.	it's	something	i	don't	think	has	been	the	subject	of	a	film	.	second	,	the	interviews	of	the	miami	women	are	sincere	.	taken	together	,	they	form	a	mosaic	picture	of	miami	beachwalkers	and	bistro	diners	.	the	mosaic	is	made	of	sound	bites	and	stereotypes	,	but	each	tile	is	some	woman's	real	experience	.	neither	the	picture	of	women	,	nor	their	picture	of	men	,	is	truly	representative	,	but	the	point	is	that	both	sets	of	generalizations	are	telling	in	their	own	way	.	at	some	level	,	the	stereotypes	that	emerge	can	be	called	true	.	i	can	imagine	some	people	liking	this	film	when	its	characters	talk	about	their	"	likes	,	dislikes	,	skills	,	and	thrills	,	"	but	on	the	whole	,	it's	pretty	bad	.	and	that	makes	it	even	harder	to	forgive	the	bad	acting	,	corny	dialogue	,	and	emotional	overextension	.	i'll	give	beyer	one	more	strike	,	and	then	she's	out	.	rated	r	(	almost	got	an	nc	17	)	for	explicit	sexual	dialogue	and	nudity	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	two	reviews	from	staff	members	james	brundage	and	max	messier	.	you	can	find	the	reviews	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	f4f3233798557e33882568e800788faa	?	opendocument	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	f4f3233798557e33882568e800788faa	?	opendocument	a	editor's	note	:	rarely	have	to	so	divergent	reviews	for	one	movie	crossed	my	desk	on	the	same	day	.	to	wit	,	we	present	a	unique	experience	for	filmcritic	.	com	something	of	a	"	he	said	,	he	said	"	two	looks	at	mission	:	impossible	2	,	from	two	of	our	most	vocal	critics	.	cn
neg	capsule	:	the	much	anticipated	re	adaptation	of	the	pierre	boulle	novel	comes	to	the	screen	as	a	dark	and	a	little	dreary	film	with	lots	of	chases	and	fighting	,	but	very	little	intelligence	.	visually	there	is	much	to	like	about	this	version	,	but	the	approach	is	to	take	an	adventure	after	the	style	of	gulliver's	travels	and	treat	it	as	an	action	film	.	that	makes	it	a	film	without	much	center	.	rating	:	4	(	0	to	10	)	,	0	(	4	to	4	)	pierre	boulle	,	author	of	the	bridge	on	the	river	kwai	,	wrote	planet	of	the	apes	(	a	.	k	.	a	.	monkey	planet	)	,	the	novel	,	as	a	social	satire	.	it	reads	a	lot	like	a	fifth	book	of	gulliver's	travels	.	humans	discover	a	planet	in	which	the	roles	of	apes	and	humans	have	been	reversed	,	not	unlike	the	roles	of	horses	and	humans	on	jonathan	swift's	island	of	the	houyhnhnms	.	the	novel	moves	somewhat	slowly	to	create	some	suspense	in	revealing	all	the	things	most	film	fans	know	to	be	true	about	the	nature	of	the	planet	.	it	seems	to	me	there	is	also	a	statement	about	human	cruelty	to	animals	,	but	perhaps	i	was	just	looking	for	that	.	when	rod	serling	adapted	the	novel	into	a	film	released	in	1968	,	he	added	a	number	of	serling	touches	,	familiar	from	episodes	of	the	twilight	zone	and	changed	the	ending	to	make	it	more	serling	ish	.	the	final	irony	of	the	original	version	has	become	film	history	.	without	it	there	could	never	have	been	a	"	planet	of	the	apes	"	film	series	.	i	can	surmise	only	that	serling	ran	into	serious	script	problems	in	how	to	handle	the	tricky	question	of	language	.	in	the	book	the	apes	had	their	own	language	and	the	human	eventually	learned	that	language	.	that	could	have	been	done	in	the	film	,	but	that	would	have	required	the	entire	film	to	be	subtitled	for	the	non	ape	speaking	.	serling	avoided	this	by	having	the	apes	speak	english	and	,	of	course	,	there	is	some	justification	for	that	by	the	end	of	the	film	.	justifying	why	the	apes	spoke	english	may	have	even	been	the	inspiration	for	his	surprise	ending	.	but	serling	never	tackles	the	all	important	question	of	why	a	supposedly	intelligent	human	never	shows	any	curiosity	or	even	surprise	that	the	apes	speak	his	own	language	,	a	language	they	had	no	opportunity	to	ever	hear	.	few	viewers	questioned	this	serious	plot	hole	,	however	,	and	the	film	has	become	well	respected	in	cinema	history	.	partial	credit	at	least	should	go	to	jerry	goldsmith	whose	extremely	inventive	score	is	one	of	goldsmith's	best	if	not	his	best	.	when	the	film's	success	called	for	sequels	,	the	filmmakers	turned	up	the	violence	and	they	added	well	intentioned	,	though	not	very	subtle	,	political	messages	about	what	was	happening	in	the	united	states	of	the	1960s	and	1970s	.	while	the	first	film	had	a	little	shooting	of	guns	and	what	was	there	seemed	a	little	half	hearted	,	by	the	second	film	,	beneath	the	planet	of	the	apes	,	there	was	a	good	deal	more	violence	and	from	that	point	on	the	series	had	a	lot	of	violence	and	chases	.	the	series	concluded	with	battle	for	the	planet	of	the	apes	in	1973	.	now	director	tim	burton	tries	his	hand	at	adapting	the	original	book	again	.	for	those	who	thought	that	the	1968	version	was	not	very	faithful	to	the	book	,	burton's	new	version	is	even	less	faithful	.	first	,	he	does	not	really	reverse	the	roles	of	the	humans	and	the	apes	.	he	has	them	both	be	intelligent	,	articulate	races	battling	for	a	dominance	of	the	planet	currently	in	the	hands	,	uh	,	make	that	paws	,	of	the	apes	.	that	could	be	a	good	story	too	,	but	it	is	not	planet	of	the	apes	.	as	with	the	mission	impossible	films	and	so	many	other	cinematic	homages	to	the	third	quarter	of	the	last	century	,	the	title	makes	promises	that	the	filmmakers	have	no	intention	of	honoring	.	in	2029	leo	davidson	(	mark	wahlberg	,	not	this	world's	most	expressive	actor	)	works	on	a	space	station	increasing	the	intelligence	and	usefulness	of	apes	.	then	a	convenient	time	storm	sweeps	him	up	wizard	of	oz	fashion	and	drops	him	on	an	alien	planet	.	(	yes	,	he	survives	this	storm	,	but	then	no	storm	is	perfect	.	)	he	quickly	finds	,	not	greatly	to	any	surprise	he	shows	,	that	on	this	planet	apes	rule	and	humans	drool	,	but	everybody	talks	.	and	the	language	they	talk	is	earth	english	.	apparently	it	does	not	even	occur	to	leo	that	there	is	a	mystery	that	needs	to	be	explained	about	that	.	the	fact	it	does	not	occur	to	leo	and	apparently	didn't	occur	to	tim	burton	either	is	the	heart	of	the	real	horror	of	this	film	.	both	just	assumed	that	if	apes	were	going	to	talk	the	language	they	would	speak	would	be	english	.	in	any	case	having	one	talking	race	dominating	another	makes	this	not	a	look	at	human	animal	relationships	and	more	one	of	the	master	slave	relationships	.	outside	of	sudan	and	a	few	other	countries	this	is	a	less	relevant	topic	.	leo	is	captured	to	be	used	as	a	slave	but	also	is	discovered	by	ari	,	played	by	helena	bonham	carter	.	ari	is	an	attractive	ape	with	close	ties	to	high	political	power	.	she	is	bent	on	making	the	world	a	better	place	.	perhaps	in	a	previous	draft	of	the	script	she	was	called	hil	ari	.	in	any	case	with	makeup	that	stifles	her	usual	pout	,	carter	is	just	about	as	attractive	as	she	has	ever	been	in	a	film	.	she	may	want	to	consider	this	to	become	her	standard	look	from	this	point	forward	.	it	is	not	long	before	leo	escapes	with	some	human	and	only	a	couple	of	sympathetic	apes	.	this	is	a	further	abandonment	of	the	source	material	.	the	chase	severely	limits	the	interplay	of	ape	and	human	and	the	examination	of	each's	place	in	this	reversed	society	,	each	important	in	the	book	.	we	cannot	see	how	the	society	works	because	most	of	the	screentime	society	has	broken	down	.	we	see	the	humans	either	separated	from	the	apes	or	fighting	them	.	burton	chooses	visceral	thrills	over	cerebral	ones	at	almost	every	turn	.	this	is	a	miscalculation	,	as	characters	so	lacking	in	empathy	value	are	difficult	ones	to	place	much	emotional	investment	in	.	they	are	basically	chess	pieces	and	the	viewer	has	little	reason	to	root	for	them	to	win	.	the	1968	script	had	little	subtlety	,	with	lines	like	"	i	never	met	an	ape	i	didn't	like	,	"	but	at	least	we	cared	for	what	happened	to	taylor	,	the	main	character	.	most	of	what	this	film	has	to	offer	is	in	the	visuals	.	the	visual	work	is	spotty	but	generally	nicely	done	except	that	so	much	of	the	film	takes	place	in	the	night	or	in	fog	.	this	tends	to	limit	close	looks	at	the	makeup	.	in	general	it	seems	much	improved	from	1968	.	the	makeup	team	is	led	by	rick	baker	instead	of	john	chambers	,	who	did	it	for	the	1968	version	.	in	1968	chambers	makeup	was	a	jaw	dropper	.	it	was	realistic	enough	to	almost	be	believable	but	flexible	enough	to	show	emotion	.	chambers	is	good	,	but	if	anyone	had	a	chance	to	best	him	it	would	have	to	be	baker	.	today	audiences	have	higher	expectations	;	baker's	visualization	is	really	an	improvement	.	these	visuals	work	nicely	.	what	does	not	work	is	the	wire	assisted	leaps	some	of	the	apes	make	.	they	look	like	they	were	inspired	by	the	physics	defying	leaps	of	crouching	tiger	,	hidden	dragon	.	apes	spring	incredible	distances	.	some	of	the	best	scenes	are	apes	running	into	battle	looking	like	they	have	ape	posture	,	but	when	they	start	flying	through	the	air	the	effect	is	lost	.	one	final	visual	problem	is	that	the	film	frequently	shows	its	budget	in	what	should	be	spectacular	battle	scenes	the	camera	shows	us	only	a	small	group	of	people	close	up	.	since	the	days	of	lon	chaney	and	boris	karloff	few	actors	have	crossed	over	to	stardom	in	a	role	that	required	heavy	make	up	.	the	one	actor	who	has	a	shot	is	paul	giamatti	.	it	is	not	that	his	lines	are	so	good	,	most	are	silly	jokes	.	but	he	delivers	them	very	well	.	he	was	always	a	watchable	actor	,	but	has	not	yet	made	stardom	.	as	the	ape	trader	limbo	he	over	emotes	to	overcome	his	ape	make	up	,	but	does	it	very	well	.	in	doing	so	he	makes	himself	the	most	interesting	thing	on	the	screen	.	he	is	probably	the	best	thing	in	the	film	and	conjures	up	memories	of	peter	ustinov's	performance	in	spartacus	.	as	an	in	joke	there	are	several	lines	in	the	script	borrowed	from	the	1968	film	and	an	old	ape	played	by	charleton	heston	becomes	an	allusion	to	the	first	film	by	itself	.	danny	elfman's	score	has	a	nice	primitive	feel	,	but	jerry	goldsmith's	1968	tour	de	force	score	is	a	real	classic	.	that	score	and	the	whole	film	will	be	remembered	when	the	2001	film	is	forgotten	.	i	rate	the	remake	4	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	0	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
neg	tri	star	;	rated	r	(	language	,	sexual	situations	,	violence	)	;	87	minutescast	:	rose	mcgowan	,	rebecca	gayheart	,	judy	greer	,	julie	benz	,	chad	christ	,	ethan	erickson	,	carol	kane	,	pam	grier	,	tatyana	m	.	ali	.	jawbreaker	is	the	very	definition	of	a	"	rip	off	.	"	this	uninspired	teen	comedy	takes	equal	parts	carrie	(	1976	)	,	heathers	(	1989	)	and	clueless	(	1995	)	and	mixes	in	all	the	necessary	teen	movie	clichs	.	along	the	way	writer	director	darren	stein	forgets	to	give	the	film	a	life	of	its	own	.	the	film	opens	with	a	voice	over	from	geeky	fern	mayo	(	judy	greer	)	about	the	four	most	popular	girls	at	reagan	high	:	courtney	shayne	(	rose	mcgowan	)	who	can	basically	be	summed	up	as	satan	in	heels	,	julie	freeman	(	rebecca	gayheart	)	a	good	girl	with	the	face	of	a	supermodel	,	marcie	fox	(	julie	benz	)	a	dim	witted	blonde	who	demands	that	people	call	her	"	foxy	"	,	and	liz	purr	(	charlotte	roldan	)	an	angel	in	disguise	.	liz	is	everyone's	favorite	because	she's	both	beautiful	and	kind	.	liz	is	about	to	turn	17	and	,	as	a	prank	,	courtney	convinces	the	other	girls	to	help	her	in	kidnapping	liz	on	her	birthday	morning	.	in	order	to	keep	liz	from	making	any	noise	courtney	stuffs	a	jawbreaker	into	her	mouth	before	they	gag	her	.	they	then	stuff	liz	in	the	trunk	of	courtney's	car	but	when	they	open	it	later	,	polaroid	camera	waiting	to	capture	the	moment	,	their	lives	will	never	be	the	same	:	poor	liz	has	swallowed	the	jawbreaker	and	choked	to	death	with	it	lodged	in	her	throat	(	the	audience	is	treated	to	a	few	too	many	graphic	looks	at	liz's	dead	body	)	.	courtney	,	thinking	fast	,	decides	to	pass	the	death	off	as	a	rape	murder	and	marcie	and	a	reluctant	julie	assist	her	.	things	get	complicated	when	fern	discovers	what	the	three	girls	are	up	to	.	in	order	to	keep	her	quiet	courtney	comes	up	with	another	plan	and	transforms	geeky	fern	into	"	vylette	"	,	hoping	that	she	will	also	help	to	replace	liz	in	the	minds	of	the	devastated	students	.	up	until	about	this	point	the	film	is	effective	enough	.	however	,	an	investigation	begins	into	liz's	death	and	the	film	becomes	excessively	dull	.	the	recently	rediscovered	talents	of	pam	grier	are	thoroughly	wasted	in	the	role	of	detective	vera	cruz	and	the	film	is	downright	insipid	in	its	treatment	of	both	the	characters	and	the	audience	during	this	long	middle	stretch	.	courtney's	plan	to	frame	a	sleazy	guy	(	marilyn	manson	,	in	a	brief	cameo	)	is	never	believable	for	a	second	.	meanwhile	,	the	audience	is	stuck	watching	a	string	of	random	events	which	fail	to	develop	the	characters	or	add	anything	of	interest	to	the	plot	.	julie	leaves	the	group	and	begins	a	lame	romance	with	aspiring	actor	zack	(	chad	christ	)	.	he	apparently	gives	her	the	courage	to	turn	on	courtney	but	the	way	things	develop	only	make	julie	look	stupid	.	fern's	rise	to	popularity	is	equally	lame	.	we	do	get	the	best	scene	in	the	film	(	the	only	one	with	a	spark	of	originality	)	during	this	section	.	it's	a	smart	and	subversive	bit	where	courtney	gets	the	high	school's	resident	jock	stud	dane	(	ethan	erickson	)	to	demonstrate	,	using	a	popsicle	,	exactly	what	he	would	like	for	her	to	do	to	him	.	it	at	least	provides	us	with	a	look	at	courtney's	personality	but	the	way	the	scene	finishes	doesn't	make	any	sense	.	stein	is	very	conscious	of	the	teen	movie	tradition	he	is	working	in	and	not	only	freely	borrows	major	plot	elements	but	also	includes	direct	acknowledgment	of	this	with	some	stunt	casting	.	william	katt	and	p	.	j	.	soles	(	students	in	carrie	)	are	liz's	distraught	parents	,	jeff	conaway	(	from	grease	(	1978	)	)	is	julie's	creepy	single	dad	and	carol	kane	(	the	frightened	babysitter	in	when	a	stranger	calls	(	1979	)	)	camps	it	up	as	principal	miss	sherman	.	at	times	jawbreaker	feels	simply	like	teen	cinema's	greatest	hits	but	the	audience	is	cheated	with	watered	down	interpretations	of	the	best	this	genre	has	to	offer	.	the	only	notable	aspect	of	jawbreaker	is	the	incredibly	stylish	look	.	the	costume	design	by	vickie	brinkford	and	the	production	design	by	jerry	fleming	are	both	bright	and	vivid	.	they	were	apparently	instructed	to	work	from	the	color	palette	of	a	jawbreaker	and	the	screen	is	always	splashed	with	bits	of	vibrant	color	.	director	of	photography	amy	vicent	,	who	beautifully	lensed	eve's	bayou	(	1997	)	,	does	a	remarkable	job	here	as	well	.	shot	composition	and	camera	movement	is	consistently	impressive	.	performances	are	mostly	sub	par	with	mcgowan	providing	only	a	few	good	moments	(	compared	with	her	excellent	work	in	the	doom	generation	(	1995	)	and	scream	(	1996	)	)	and	gayheart	making	the	biggest	impression	due	to	the	sweet	nature	of	her	character	and	her	obvious	beauty	.	none	of	the	actors	look	as	if	they	have	set	foot	inside	a	high	school	within	the	last	five	years	with	the	exception	of	actress	singer	tatyana	ali	,	who	has	a	small	role	as	a	cheerleader	.	the	male	cast	all	resemble	male	models	and	are	credited	with	names	like	"	auto	stud	,	"	"	college	stud	,	"	and	"	high	school	stud	2	.	"	the	soundtrack	is	decent	and	imperial	teen's	catchy	"	yoo	hoo	"	makes	a	bigger	impression	than	any	other	aspect	of	the	film	.
neg	did	i	do	something	bad	?	i	must	have	,	because	sitting	through	this	movie	was	sheer	punishment	.	here's	the	plot	.	ricky	(	jeff	goldblum	)	is	producer	of	the	good	buy	network	,	one	of	those	24	hour	home	shopping	channels	.	the	new	boss	(	robert	loggia	)	plans	to	can	ricky's	behind	if	he	doesn't	turn	the	previous	months'	flat	sales	numbers	around	,	and	to	add	to	his	problems	,	ricky	also	has	to	work	with	kate	(	kelly	preston	)	,	the	ivy	league	wunderkind	whom	the	boss	has	brought	with	him	.	kate	and	ricky	don't	get	along	and	don't	have	any	great	ideas	until	they	meet	g	(	eddie	murphy	)	,	a	spiritualist	who	sees	something	positive	in	everything	.	his	soothing	voice	and	simple	logic	makes	people	feel	good	,	and	it's	this	quality	that	will	make	g	the	new	gbn	television	star	and	the	key	to	the	network's	success	.	the	first	problem	is	a	flaw	in	the	plot	.	sure	,	g	makes	people	feel	good	.	sure	,	we're	told	that	most	people	feel	guilty	after	buying	an	impulse	item	,	no	matter	how	wealthy	they	might	be	,	and	i'll	even	believe	that	g	talks	a	talk	that	allows	people	to	feel	good	about	what	they've	bought	.	but	,	hey	,	that's	after	they've	bought	it	.	why	do	sales	skyrocket	the	first	time	g	is	on	camera	?	far	from	trying	to	sell	the	product	,	g	instead	blathers	on	about	how	you	don't	even	need	the	thing	.	someone	please	tell	me	how	this	is	supposed	to	move	merchandise	in	the	first	place	.	you	might	say	that	people	feel	good	about	what	they've	bought	,	so	they	come	back	and	by	more	,	but	due	to	the	simple	fact	that	the	first	round	of	sales	in	inexplicable	,	i'm	not	convinced	this	is	what	the	filmmakers	had	in	mind	.	the	whole	movie	is	therefore	seriously	undermined	because	the	key	point	in	the	plot	is	never	credible	.	another	problem	is	in	the	humor	.	you	know	,	if	you	see	that	eddie	murphy	is	in	a	movie	,	i	think	it	is	not	unreasonable	for	you	to	expect	that	the	film	is	a	comedy	.	whoa	,	partner	,	are	you	in	for	a	surprise	.	holy	man	is	not	funny	.	murphy	,	the	one	asset	you'd	think	this	movie	has	(	remember	how	they	brought	him	in	at	the	last	minute	to	save	best	defense	?	then	again	,	maybe	you	don't	)	is	seriously	reigned	in	.	the	script	gives	him	almost	nothing	to	work	with	,	and	it	seems	as	though	director	stephen	herek	kept	him	toned	down	so	that	the	other	actors	in	the	film	wouldn't	be	left	as	window	dressing	.	there's	only	one	moment	in	the	film	where	murphy	is	allowed	to	let	loose	,	and	it	lasts	for	three	shouted	words	,	which	seem	totally	out	of	place	as	a	result	.	pathetic	.	in	all	,	there	are	about	three	jokes	that	work	in	the	entire	picture	,	and	they're	not	even	that	great	.	as	a	side	note	,	there	are	some	cameo	appearances	such	as	dan	marino	pitching	a	contraption	which	allows	you	to	cook	off	of	your	car	engine	,	and	james	brown	introducing	a	medic	alert	device	that	shouts	"	help	me	!	"	just	like	the	hardest	working	man	in	show	business	at	the	push	of	a	button	,	but	these	never	cause	your	personal	laugh	o	meter	to	rise	above	the	level	of	mild	bemusement	.	"	well	,	"	you	ask	,	"	surely	there	must	be	some	convincing	performances	to	make	up	for	the	lack	of	humor	.	"	think	again	,	buckwheat	.	jeff	goldblum	disappoints	.	kelly	preston	is	flat	(	but	not	like	that	)	.	robert	loggia	,	in	the	kind	of	role	for	which	he	has	been	virtually	typecast	,	can't	do	anything	with	it	.	the	script	is	part	of	the	problem	,	but	these	actors	don't	even	look	like	they	believe	in	the	move	they're	making	.	they	look	a	lot	like	they're	bored	.	just	like	the	audience	.	so	what	do	you	have	when	the	humor	is	absent	from	your	comedy	,	and	the	acting	is	like	the	siberian	steppes	?	a	film	that	drags	more	than	a	dropped	anchor	.	but	wait	!	as	if	these	problems	don't	make	the	film	slow	enough	,	the	screenplay's	pacing	makes	the	movie	even	slower	!	it	takes	the	entire	first	half	hour	to	establish	the	movie's	premise	,	then	more	time	as	the	film	wades	through	a	tortuous	(	and	seemingly	mandatory	)	romance	between	ricky	and	kate	,	and	a	sub	plot	involving	a	conniving	pr	man	(	eric	mccormack	)	who	wants	to	discredit	g	and	take	over	ricky's	job	as	producer	.	when	the	pr	guy's	plan	is	foiled	,	the	film	is	climaxes	,	we're	treated	to	that	little	epilogue	,	and	then	we	can	all	go	home	,	right	?	wrong	.	the	movie	goes	on	for	another	half	hour	!	continental	drift	is	the	indy	500	compared	to	the	pace	of	holy	man	!	the	only	thing	holy	about	holy	man	will	surely	be	the	number	of	people	exclaiming	"	holy	!	that	movie	was	awful	!	"	this	one	is	for	the	truly	pious	.
neg	star	wars	:	episode	i	the	phantom	menace	(	1999	)	director	:	george	lucas	cast	:	liam	neeson	,	ewan	mcgregor	,	natalie	portman	,	jake	lloyd	,	ian	mcdiarmid	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	oliver	ford	davies	,	terence	stamp	,	pernilla	august	,	frank	oz	,	ahmed	best	,	kenny	baker	,	anthony	daniels	screenplay	:	george	lucas	producers	:	rick	mccallum	runtime	:	131	min	.	us	distribution	:	20th	century	fox	rated	pg	:	mild	violence	,	thematic	elements	copyright	1999	nathaniel	r	.	atchesona	fellow	critic	once	stated	his	belief	that	a	reviewer	should	not	speak	of	himself	in	his	own	review	.	i've	attempted	to	obey	this	rule	in	recent	months	,	but	to	do	so	would	be	impossible	in	this	case	.	the	fact	is	,	nearly	every	person	who	goes	to	see	the	phantom	menace	brings	baggage	in	with	them	.	the	original	star	wars	trilogy	means	so	much	to	so	many	people	.	for	me	,	they	calibrated	my	creativity	as	a	child	;	they	are	masterful	,	original	works	of	art	that	mix	moving	stories	with	what	were	astonishing	special	effects	at	the	time	(	and	they	still	hold	up	pretty	darn	well	)	.	i	am	too	young	to	have	seen	star	wars	in	the	theater	during	its	original	release	,	but	that	doesn't	make	me	any	less	dedicated	to	it	.	on	the	contrary	,	the	star	wars	trilogy	and	the	empire	strikes	back	in	particular	are	three	items	on	a	very	short	list	of	why	i	love	movies	.	when	i	heard	that	george	lucas	would	be	making	the	first	trilogy	in	the	nine	film	series	,	i	got	exited	.	when	i	first	saw	screenshots	from	the	film	,	well	over	a	year	ago	,	i	embarked	on	a	year	long	drool	of	anticipation	.	and	when	the	first	previews	were	released	last	thanksgiving	,	i	was	ready	to	see	the	film	.	but	then	there	was	the	hype	,	the	insane	marketing	campaign	,	and	lucasfilm's	secretive	snobbery	over	the	picture	.	in	the	last	weeks	before	the	picture	opened	,	while	multitudes	of	fans	waited	outside	of	theaters	and	stood	in	the	boiling	sun	days	in	advance	just	to	be	the	first	ones	in	the	theater	,	i	was	tired	of	hearing	about	it	.	i	was	tired	of	seeing	cardboard	cut	outs	of	the	characters	whenever	i	went	to	kfc	or	taco	bell	.	i	just	wanted	to	see	the	movie	.	reader	,	do	not	misunderstand	.	i	did	not	have	an	anti	hype	reaction	.	the	hype	was	unavoidable	.	i	understand	and	accept	the	hype	it's	just	what	happens	when	the	prequel	to	the	most	widely	beloved	films	of	all	time	get	released	.	five	minutes	into	the	phantom	menace	,	i	knew	there	was	a	problem	.	"	who	are	these	jedi	knights	?	"	i	asked	.	"	why	are	they	churning	out	stale	dialogue	with	machine	gun	rapidity	?	"	"	why	aren't	these	characters	being	developed	before	their	adventures	?	"	"	why	is	there	a	special	effects	shot	in	nearly	every	frame	of	the	entire	film	?	"	these	were	just	some	of	my	questions	early	on	.	later	,	i	asked	,	"	where's	the	magic	of	the	first	three	films	?	"	and	"	why	am	i	looking	at	my	watch	every	fifteen	minutes	?	'	by	the	end	of	the	film	,	i	was	tired	,	maddened	,	and	depressed	.	george	lucas	has	funneled	his	own	wonderful	movies	into	a	pointless	,	mindless	,	summer	blockbuster	.	the	phantom	menace	is	no	star	wars	film	.	take	away	the	title	and	the	jedi	talk	and	the	force	,	and	you're	left	with	what	is	easily	one	of	the	most	vacuous	special	effects	movies	of	all	time	.	it's	an	embarrassment	.	i	looked	desperately	for	a	scene	in	which	a	character	is	explored	,	or	a	new	theme	is	examined	,	or	a	special	effects	shot	isn't	used	.	there	are	a	few	of	each	,	but	they're	all	token	attempts	.	the	fact	is	,	george	lucas	has	created	what	is	simultaneously	an	abysmally	bad	excuse	for	a	movie	and	a	pretty	good	showcase	for	digital	effects	.	this	is	not	what	i	wanted	to	see	.	i	didn't	want	to	leave	the	phantom	menace	with	a	headache	and	a	bitter	taste	in	my	mouth	,	but	i	did	.	the	story	centers	mostly	around	qui	gon	jinn	(	liam	neeson	,	looking	lost	and	confused	)	and	his	apprentice	,	obi	wan	kenobi	(	ewan	mcgregor	,	who	scarcely	has	a	line	in	the	film	)	and	their	attempts	to	liberate	the	people	of	the	planet	naboo	.	naboo	is	the	victim	of	a	bureaucratic	war	with	the	trade	federation	;	their	contact	on	naboo	is	queen	amidala	(	natalie	portman	)	,	the	teenage	ruler	who	truly	cares	for	her	people	.	after	picking	up	jar	jar	binks	(	a	completely	cgi	character	,	voiced	by	ahmed	best	)	,	they	head	to	tatooine	,	where	they	meet	young	anakin	skywalker	(	jake	lloyd	)	and	his	mother	(	pernilla	august	)	.	qui	gon	knows	that	the	force	is	strong	with	young	anakin	,	and	so	the	jedi	knights	take	the	boy	with	them	on	their	journeys	.	the	bad	guys	are	darth	maul	and	darth	sidious	,	neither	of	whom	have	enough	lines	to	register	as	characters	.	there	isn't	anything	particularly	wrong	with	this	story	when	looking	at	it	in	synopsis	form	.	the	way	lucas	has	handled	it	,	however	,	it	unsatisfactory	.	first	of	all	,	we	don't	learn	one	single	thing	about	qui	gon	jinn	.	not	one	thing	.	what	was	his	life	like	before	this	film	?	well	,	i	imagine	he	didn't	have	one	.	that's	why	he	feels	like	a	plot	device	.	this	probably	explains	why	neeson	looks	so	hopeless	in	the	role	,	and	why	he's	recently	retired	from	film	(	i	don't	blame	him	,	honestly	)	.	obi	wan	,	a	character	i	was	really	looking	forward	to	learning	more	about	,	is	even	less	interesting	.	mcgregor	has	just	a	few	lines	,	so	anyone	hoping	to	see	the	engaging	young	actor	in	a	great	performance	is	urged	to	look	elsewhere	.	since	these	two	men	are	the	focus	of	the	phantom	menace	,	lucas	has	served	us	a	big	emotional	void	as	the	centerpiece	of	his	movie	.	things	start	to	pick	up	when	our	characters	reach	tatooine	;	young	anakin	is	perhaps	the	only	truly	fleshed	out	character	in	the	film	,	and	lloyd	does	a	thoughtful	job	with	the	role	.	i	was	also	hugely	impressed	with	the	sand	speeder	scene	;	rarely	is	an	action	sequence	so	fast	and	so	exciting	.	and	when	anakin	says	goodbye	to	his	mother	,	i	found	it	moving	.	also	fairly	good	is	portman	,	and	she	manages	to	give	a	little	depth	to	a	character	where	no	depth	has	been	written	.	jar	jar	binks	is	one	of	the	most	annoying	characters	i've	ever	had	to	endure	,	but	he's	more	interesting	than	most	of	the	humans	.	as	soon	as	the	relatively	brief	segment	on	tatooine	is	over	,	it's	back	to	the	mind	numbing	special	effects	and	depthless	action	scenes	.	i've	seen	many	movies	that	qualify	as	"	special	effects	extravaganzas	,	"	but	the	phantom	menace	is	the	first	one	i've	seen	that	had	me	sick	of	the	special	effects	fifteen	minutes	into	the	movie	.	the	reason	is	obvious	:	george	lucas	has	no	restraint	.	i	can't	say	that	i	didn't	find	the	effects	original	,	because	i	did	the	final	battle	between	darth	maul	,	obi	wan	,	and	qui	gon	is	visually	exceptional	,	as	is	most	of	the	film	.	but	i	also	found	the	effects	deadening	and	tiresome	.	my	breaking	point	was	near	the	end	of	the	picture	,	as	anakin	is	getting	questioned	by	yoda	and	the	other	jedi	masters	;	in	the	background	,	we	see	hundreds	of	digital	spaceships	flying	around	through	a	digital	sky	,	and	i	wanted	that	to	go	away	.	can't	we	have	one	stinking	scene	that	isn't	bursting	at	the	seems	with	a	special	effects	shot	?	i	got	so	sick	of	looking	at	the	cgi	characters	and	spaceships	and	planets	and	backgrounds	that	i	really	just	wanted	to	go	outside	and	look	at	a	physical	landscape	for	a	few	hours	.	and	then	there's	the	question	of	magic	.	what	was	lost	in	the	sixteen	years	between	the	phantom	menace	and	return	of	the	jedi	?	i	have	a	feeling	that	lucas	was	so	focused	on	how	his	movie	looked	that	he	forgot	entirely	the	way	it	should	feel	.	john	williams'	familiar	score	is	no	help	,	nor	is	lucas'	direction	.	i	think	it	comes	right	down	to	characters	:	there	are	none	here	.	i	longed	for	the	magnetic	presence	of	han	,	luke	,	and	leia	,	but	i	got	no	such	thing	.	and	what	about	the	ridiculous	expectations	?	mine	weren't	that	high	;	i	simply	wanted	a	film	that	showed	me	the	roots	of	the	films	that	i	grew	up	loving	,	a	story	that	had	a	few	characters	and	a	few	great	special	effects	.	instead	,	i	got	two	hours	and	fifteen	minutes	of	a	lifeless	and	imaginative	computer	graphics	show	.	i	don't	hate	the	phantom	menace	as	much	as	i	resent	it	:	i'd	like	to	forget	that	it	exists	,	and	yet	i	can't	.	it's	here	to	stay	.	i	can	only	hope	that	episodes	ii	and	iii	have	something	of	substance	in	them	,	because	if	they	don't	,	then	lucas	will	have	pulled	off	the	impossible	task	of	destroying	his	own	indestructible	series	.
neg	directed	by	:	jan	de	bont	written	by	:	david	shelf	,	based	upon	a	novel	by	shirley	jackson	cast	:	liam	neeson	,	cathrine	zeta	jones	,	lili	taylor	,	lili	taylor	,	marian	seldes	the	tagline	for	this	film	is	:	"	some	houses	are	just	born	bad	"	.	so	i	didn't	expect	too	much	from	this	.	but	i	had	preserved	a	little	spark	of	ope	as	i	entered	the	theatre	.	i	thought	:	liam	neeson	,	cathrine	zeta	jones	and	jan	de	bont	.	i	thought	,	mabe	it	will	be	fun	?	and	in	fact	the	beginning	was	rather	intriguing	.	but	by	the	end	of	it	i	thought	:	why	liam	neeson	and	cathrine	zeta	jones	,	jan	de	bont	?	.	these	great	actors	are	basically	helpless	with	this	muddled	mess	that	defies	any	rationality	.	here	is	the	story	:	in	the	monstrously	over	decorated	mansion	known	as	hill	house	,	visitors	are	tricked	by	an	unknown	doctor	(	liam	neeson	)	into	being	guinea	pigs	in	a	fright	experiment	under	the	guise	of	an	insomnia	investigation	.	among	them	is	a	sophisticated	bisexual	(	cathrine	zeta	jones	)	,	a	cynical	dope	(	owen	wilson	)	and	a	gentle	and	emotional	lady	(	lily	taylor	)	.	actually	,	the	doctor	is	researching	the	"	primordial	fear	reaction	"	and	intends	to	plant	disturbing	ideas	in	his	subjects	and	watch	what	happens	.	but	he	gets	unexpected	help	from	the	house	itself	.	it	rumbles	,	hums	and	belches	forth	remarkable	sights	.	portals	become	veiny	stained	glass	eyeballs	.	a	fireplace	guarded	by	stone	lions	gapes	like	a	sinister	mouth	.	filmy	cherubic	spirits	take	shape	under	sheets	and	billowy	curtains	.	but	the	computerized	spooketeria	rarely	feels	real	,	placing	an	emotional	wall	between	audience	and	screen	.	the	second	half	of	the	film	is	basically	about	the	main	heroine	running	back	and	forth	from	the	sinister	lamps	and	evil	furniture	.	is	that	exciting	or	what	?	the	worst	thing	about	it	is	that	it	didn't	have	to	be	bad	.	it's	based	on	a	great	book	,	the	haunting	of	hill	house	,	''	by	shirley	jackson	.	a	1963	adaptation	of	the	book	was	scary	and	intelligent	.	it	played	with	the	greatest	fears	of	our	sub	conscience	.	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	,	that	cost	less	than	an	old	car	,	managed	to	shock	and	terrify	the	audiences	from	their	senses	.	and	with	a	70	mill	.	budget	,	de	bont	and	screenwriter	david	self	make	hash	out	of	a	perfectly	lovely	piece	of	terror	.	de	bont	has	a	style	of	filmmaking	so	out	of	line	with	the	material	that	it	is	,	in	itself	,	frightening	.	he	is	the	master	of	the	extravagant	special	effect	and	the	big	visual	adrenaline	rush	.	but	why	give	him	a	more	serious	material	?	in	the	end	"	haunting	"	will	only	haunt	its	fledgling	studio	(	dream	works	skg	)	and	de	bont's	career	as	a	director	.	yet	it	wouldn't	be	fair	to	say	that	everything	is	bad	.	the	effects	are	truly	impressive	and	the	house	is	wonderfully	decorated	beautiful	,	mysterious	,	magical	and	spooky	.	but	this	is	where	the	good	things	end	.	the	music	is	blaring	,	the	floors	moving	,	the	ceiling	morphing	and	the	pictures	on	the	walls	screaming	and	all	of	this	,	every	second	,	every	moment	of	screen	time	,	is	absolutely	without	life	.	it's	nothing	more	than	a	special	effects	extravaganza	;	visually	impressive	,	but	intellectually	hollow	thriller	that	simply	doesn't	engage	.	at	first	you	do	not	know	what's	going	on	.	is	this	part	of	the	experiment	?	are	these	hallucinations	?	projections	of	the	subconscience	?	paranoia	?	but	in	the	end	it	shows	out	that	this	is	actually	happening	.	the	house	is	actually	possessed	.	it	is	at	that	point	when	all	your	hopes	for	a	good	entertainment	disappears	out	of	the	window	.	for	ever	,	i	sat	in	anticipation	for	a	decent	climax	and	that's	what	i	got	?	i	believe	hichock	once	said	that	"	it's	better	to	wait	for	a	climax	,	than	to	see	one	"	.	this	may	be	true	,	and	it	might	actually	work	,	but	there	is	only	one	problem	jan	de	bont	is	not	hichock	and	the	things	that	he	shows	are	not	scary	,	only	stupid	.	they	are	impossible	to	take	seriously	.	any	paralells	that	you	might	have	heard	before	,	linking	this	picture	to	kubrick's	"	the	shining	"	,	are	absolutely	baseless	.	"	shining	"	had	class	,	style	,	story	,	acting	,	but	most	of	all	talent	and	originality	.	"	haunting	"	has	only	special	effects	and	art	direction	to	boast	of	.	and	those	elements	alone	are	not	enough	to	make	it	a	good	film	.	casting	good	actors	for	small	,	pale	parts	only	makes	things	worse	.	but	i	guess	that	no	matter	what	i	or	other	critics	say	or	write	,	most	of	you	will	see	this	film	anyway	,	even	if	the	tagline	would	say	:	"	some	films	are	just	born	stupid	"	.
neg	directed	by	courtney	solomon	.	screenplay	by	topper	lilien	and	carroll	cartwright	,	based	on	the	game	created	by	e	gary	gygax	.	starring	justin	whalin	,	marlon	wayans	,	zoe	mclellan	.	running	time	:	107	minutes	.	rated	pg	for	frightening	scenes	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	december	21st	,	2000	.	okay	,	i	admit	it	.	as	a	critic	,	i'm	supposed	to	approach	any	movie	objectively	,	but	that	isn't	always	the	case	.	there	are	some	films	i'm	just	predisposed	to	liking	anything	starring	jimmy	stewart	,	for	example	.	"	dungeons	dragons	"	falls	into	this	category	.	i've	been	a	participant	in	the	role	playing	game	for	thirteen	years	,	and	have	anticipated	its	big	screen	treatment	for	some	time	.	to	further	whet	my	appetite	,	the	film	features	a	cameo	by	one	of	my	favourite	actors	(	tom	baker	,	the	curly	haired	time	lord	with	the	immense	scarf	on	the	bbc's	"	doctor	who	"	)	.	and	this	is	on	top	of	boasting	two	traditionally	excellent	actors	in	jeremy	irons	and	thora	birch	.	first	,	let's	be	clear	:	"	dungeons	dragons	"	isn't	really	"	based	on	"	the	role	playing	game	.	that's	because	there's	not	a	lot	of	source	material	:	d	d	,	the	game	,	is	a	set	of	mechanics	sparsely	peppered	with	vague	background	.	you	could	just	as	easily	create	a	movie	based	on	"	monopoly	"	or	"	yahtzee	"	.	the	basic	idea	is	to	take	the	rules	set	down	in	the	d	d	game	and	apply	them	to	a	scenario	invented	by	the	players	themselves	.	the	world	depicted	in	"	dungeons	dragons	"	,	the	movie	,	is	therefore	entirely	an	invention	of	producer	director	courtney	solomon	and	writers	topper	lilien	and	carroll	cartwright	.	at	best	,	"	dungeons	dragons	"	adheres	to	the	rules	laid	down	in	the	game	,	and	then	only	loosely	.	the	empire	of	izmer	is	on	the	brink	of	civil	war	.	socially	conscious	young	empress	savina	(	birch	)	is	locked	in	a	struggle	with	the	ruling	council	of	mages	,	led	by	profion	(	irons	)	.	profion	desires	power	for	himself	,	but	savina	wields	an	enchanted	staff	which	allows	her	to	control	mighty	gold	dragons	.	through	his	brutish	underling	damodar	(	bruce	payne	)	,	profion	learns	of	another	magical	staff	which	would	permit	him	to	command	red	dragons	.	however	,	the	roguish	ridley	(	justin	whalin	)	uncovers	profion's	plot	,	and	sets	out	on	a	quest	to	find	the	staff	first	.	ridley	quickly	accumulates	a	party	of	allies	,	including	his	thieving	partner	snails	(	marlon	wayans	)	,	apprentice	magic	user	norda	(	zoe	mclellan	)	,	elven	tracker	marrina	(	kristen	wilson	)	and	gluttonous	dwarf	elwood	(	lee	arenberg	)	.	(	the	name	elwood	comes	from	the	press	material	if	the	dwarf	is	ever	actually	named	onscreen	,	i	didn't	hear	it	.	)	the	amusing	thing	is	that	,	with	the	exception	of	snails	,	ridley's	companions	accomplish	nothing	beyond	serving	as	convenient	hostages	for	the	bad	guys	.	one	amusing	scene	,	in	which	they	confront	profion	one	after	the	other	only	to	each	be	instantly	despatched	by	the	villain	,	tells	the	whole	story	.	his	adventuring	band	assembled	,	ridley	endures	a	series	of	dungeons	and	mazes	,	eventually	leading	to	the	recovery	of	the	fabled	staff	.	with	the	dungeons	dispensed	with	,	what	comes	next	but	you	guessed	it	the	dragons	.	lots	of	them	.	apparently	,	someone	didn't	quite	realise	that	"	dungeons	dragons	"	is	just	a	cute	,	alliterative	name	for	the	game	,	not	its	complete	description	.	solomon	allegedly	spent	a	decade	crafting	the	storyline	for	this	film	,	but	it	scarcely	shows	.	frankly	,	i've	seen	better	d	d	adventures	put	together	on	the	spur	of	the	moment	at	the	start	of	a	gaming	session	.	at	its	best	,	d	d	allows	participants'	imaginations	to	soar	.	solomon	,	on	the	other	hand	,	has	kept	his	story	firmly	rooted	in	the	most	laboured	cliches	of	the	genre	everything	from	sliding	walls	to	those	boobytrapped	floors	where	you	have	to	step	on	just	the	right	stones	to	make	it	across	.	it's	telling	that	one	of	the	movie's	seemingly	more	interesting	scenes	,	in	which	ridley	and	norda	actually	enter	a	magic	map	and	confront	the	spirit	dwelling	within	,	is	reported	purely	through	dialogue	.	the	acting	in	"	dungeons	dragons	"	is	almost	universally	abysmal	.	whalin	(	who	was	the	second	,	far	duller	jimmy	olsen	in	the	"	lois	clark	"	tv	series	)	and	mclellan	have	clearly	been	cast	purely	for	their	all	american	good	looks	;	their	overacting	is	embarrassing	to	behold	.	only	irons	surpasses	them	in	this	regard	,	chewing	the	scenery	with	gusto	literally	every	time	he	appears	.	birch	shows	none	of	the	prowess	she	demonstrated	in	"	american	beauty	"	she	utters	lines	of	dialogue	as	though	her	mouth	was	filled	with	marbles	,	and	she	lives	up	to	her	surname	for	wooden	acting	.	payne	apparently	spends	the	entire	movie	under	the	misapprehension	that	talking	in	a	raspy	voice	makes	him	sound	menacing	and	not	at	all	like	a	guy	in	need	of	some	vicks	vapo	rub	;	he	inexplicably	wears	silver	lipstick	throughout	,	to	boot	.	virtually	the	only	reasonable	acting	is	offered	by	wayans	,	but	this	is	mitigated	by	the	fact	that	his	role	as	the	cowardly	,	covetous	snails	verges	on	being	a	racist	stereotype	.	none	of	them	are	helped	out	by	the	clumsy	,	cheesy	script	concocted	by	lilien	and	cartwright	.	as	bad	as	the	delivery	might	be	,	in	many	cases	the	actual	dialogue	is	even	worse	.	consider	this	hair	curling	exchange	.	profion	:	"	i	shall	invent	a	new	destiny	of	pain	for	you	.	.	.	and	new	senses	with	which	to	feel	it	!	"	ridley	:	"	not	if	i	kill	you	first	!	"	(	truly	,	the	snappy	comeback	is	a	lost	art	.	)	and	everything	leads	up	to	an	ending	which	tries	to	be	touching	and	inspiring	,	but	only	manages	to	be	sappy	and	confused	.	visually	,	"	dungeons	dragons	"	is	respectable	,	with	scenes	of	dragons	in	combat	above	izmer	looking	particularly	good	(	albeit	clearly	computer	generated	)	.	however	,	it	does	appear	that	the	production	was	running	low	on	funds	for	some	sequences	for	instance	,	count	the	number	of	times	ridley	and	friends	seem	to	pass	the	exact	same	copse	of	trees	.	(	then	again	,	maybe	they	accidentally	let	irons	loose	on	that	particular	set	.	)	otherwise	,	about	the	only	thing	"	dungeons	dragons	"	has	going	for	it	is	that	it	at	least	falls	into	the	category	of	films	so	bad	they're	funny	.	it's	difficult	to	be	bored	sitting	through	this	one	when	you're	spending	the	whole	time	laughing	at	it	(	at	it	,	mind	you	,	not	with	it	)	.	if	ever	there	was	a	compelling	reason	to	revive	the	late	,	lamented	"	mystery	science	theater	3000	"	,	"	dungeons	dragons	"	is	it	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	dungeonsanddragons	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	dungeonsanddragons	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
neg	everything	in	the	phantom	you	have	seen	many	times	before	and	there	is	nothing	new	presented	here	.	wincer	displays	absolutely	no	skill	in	setting	up	an	exciting	action	sequence	.	billy	zane	is	wooden	as	the	hero	.	kristy	swanson	is	given	very	little	to	do	,	and	does	very	little	with	it	.	treat	williams	,	looking	like	rhett	butler	but	sounding	like	mickey	mouse	,	is	one	of	the	worst	villains	i	have	ever	seen	in	a	movie	.	only	catherine	zeta	jones	,	as	one	of	williams	cohorts	turns	in	a	good	performance	.	she	has	energy	and	spunk	,	which	the	movie	needed	much	more	of	.	oh	yeah	,	the	phantom	also	has	a	secret	identity	but	this	is	so	poorly	played	out	you	won't	even	care	.	about	the	only	things	i	can	recommend	are	a	good	performance	by	jones	,	and	some	colorful	scenery	.	however	,	if	youre	looking	for	a	fun	family	movie	,	go	watch	the	underrated	flipper	.	this	is	not	a	good	movie	.
neg	the	crown	jewel	of	1970's	irwin	allen	disaster	movies	,	the	poseidon	adventure	features	an	all	star	cast	including	gene	hackman	and	ernest	borgnine	spouting	some	of	the	most	laughable	dramatic	dialogue	in	movie	history	while	trapped	on	a	cruise	ship	.	the	story	begins	on	the	u	.	s	.	s	.	poseidon's	big	new	year's	cruise	,	where	we	are	introduced	to	the	ensemble	of	people	who	will	soon	be	the	only	passengers	left	alive	.	let's	see	,	there's	the	new	age	preacher	(	hackman	)	who	advises	people	to	"	pray	to	that	part	of	god	within	yourself	.	"	there's	the	ex	cop	(	borgnine	)	who	busted	a	hooker	(	stella	stevens	)	six	times	then	married	her	.	there's	the	hippie	singer	(	"	there's	got	to	be	a	morning	after	.	.	.	"	)	who	turns	to	the	company	of	a	lonely	man	(	red	buttons	)	once	her	brother	is	killed	.	and	to	round	out	the	group	:	the	elderly	couple	(	jack	albertson	and	shelley	winters	)	who	live	aboard	the	ship	,	the	beautiful	teenage	girl	and	her	brother	who	are	sailing	alone	and	adventurous	scotsman	roddy	mcdowall	.	we	get	to	know	these	people	a	little	too	well	in	the	first	thirty	minutes	of	the	poseidon	adventure	,	before	straight	faced	ship	captain	leslie	nielson	looks	in	horror	at	the	giant	tidal	wave	headed	right	for	the	ship	.	everyone's	in	the	giant	ballroom	at	the	time	,	shortly	past	midnight	of	the	new	year	,	when	the	ship	turns	first	on	its	side	,	then	completely	upside	down	.	the	second	in	command	wants	everyone	to	wait	in	the	ballroom	until	help	arrives	,	but	rebel	hackman	leads	his	small	band	of	followers	on	a	quest	to	the	top	of	the	ship	.	in	this	case	,	because	the	ship	is	overturned	,	the	top	is	the	bottom	.	or	is	the	bottom	the	top	?	either	way	,	we	get	to	see	a	lot	of	bottoms	because	the	two	beautiful	women	in	the	crew	are	both	conveniently	wearing	hot	pants	during	the	scenes	where	the	camera	shoots	upwards	while	they	climb	up	ladders	and	in	the	ballroom	scene	christmas	trees	.	thus	begins	an	hour	or	more	of	hushed	trips	down	long	corridors	,	through	burning	rooms	,	etc	.	while	the	ship	slowly	fills	with	water	behind	them	.	it's	a	race	against	the	clock	which	is	only	mildly	interesting	.	the	poseidon	adventure	works	more	as	a	bad	movie	to	laugh	at	,	with	all	the	melodrama	that	comes	in	between	the	non	thrilling	action	scenes	.	the	one	note	in	borgnine's	one	note	performance	is	to	be	a	cranky	old	man	that	argues	with	hackman	every	step	of	the	way	while	buttons	and	the	hippie	fall	in	love	(	although	since	there	isn't	a	sex	scene	,	we	never	find	out	if	his	buttons	really	are	red	)	and	albertson	and	winters	wonder	if	they'll	live	to	see	their	grandson's	birth	.	shelley	winters	provides	the	most	hilarious	scene	in	the	movie	in	a	scene	toward	the	end	,	where	water	has	flooded	the	next	two	rooms	of	the	ship	and	hackman	is	preparing	to	dive	under	with	a	rope	for	the	rest	of	them	to	pull	along	.	winters	,	who	has	been	the	whiny	fat	woman	throughout	the	movie	(	stevens	even	not	so	affectionately	calls	her	"	fatass	"	in	one	scene	)	,	finally	finds	her	purpose	.	"	i	was	the	underwater	swimming	champ	of	new	york	three	years	running	when	i	was	seventeen	,	"	she	brags	,	and	before	hackman	can	even	ask	her	how	she	could	be	seventeen	for	three	years	,	she's	swimming	through	the	water	,	her	skirt	billowing	up	around	her	hips	,	showing	off	her	cellulite	(	or	do	you	call	it	shellulite	?	)	ridden	thighs	.	it's	not	so	much	funny	as	innately	disgusting	,	which	pretty	much	sums	up	the	poseidon	adventure	as	a	whole	.
neg	1	2	directed	by	(	sir	)	peter	hall	.	written	by	lewis	green	jordan	rush	.	photography	,	elemer	ragalyi	.	editing	,	roberto	silvi	.	production	design	,	linda	del	rosario	richard	paris	.	music	,	pino	donaggio	.	cast	:	rebecca	de	mornay	(	sarah	taylor	)	,	antonio	banderas	(	tony	ramirez	)	,	dennis	miller	(	cliff	raddison	)	,	len	cariou	(	henry	taylor	)	,	beau	starr	,	tim	kelleher	,	eugene	lipinski	,	philip	jarrett	,	and	harry	dean	stanton	as	"	max	cheski	.	"	distributed	by	tri	star	.	96	minutes	.	rated	r	(	violence	,	language	,	sex	)	the	latest	antonio	banderas	movie	of	the	week	was	helmed	by	respected	stage	director	peter	hall	(	knighted	in	1977	)	.	between	1967	and	1974	,	sir	peter	also	directed	six	films	,	mostly	adaptations	of	plays	and	mostly	unpraised	.	the	writers	of	never	talk	to	strangers	are	not	movie	celebrities	either	,	although	jordan	rush	must	be	a	favorite	son	in	carbondale	,	illinois	,	since	he	graduated	from	southern	illinois	university	.	there	is	also	another	,	more	tenuous	illinois	connection	.	this	movie's	hungarian	cinematographer	has	shot	several	american	films	,	including	the	1990	journey	of	hope	(	oscar	for	best	foreign	film	)	,	which	was	co	produced	by	university	of	illinois	alumnus	bill	hartman	.	all	those	tie	ins	however	do	not	make	a	movie	worth	watching	.	it	starts	fairly	promisingly	as	bright	criminal	psychologist	sarah	(	rebecca	de	mornay	)	has	another	one	of	her	sessions	in	jail	with	accused	serial	killer	max	(	harry	dean	stanton	)	.	character	actor	stanton	is	always	good	and	has	,	in	fact	,	improved	a	lot	of	films	with	his	presence	.	here	he	claims	that	he	suffers	from	multiple	personality	disorder	,	so	that	other	selves	are	guilty	.	ergo	,	i	,	max	,	am	innocent	.	we	also	meet	sarah's	womanizer	pal	dennis	miller	,	with	whom	she	once	slept	(	she	was	drunk	then	)	.	he	then	moved	into	her	building	,	but	now	sarah	gently	rejects	his	advances	.	as	a	stand	up	practitioner	,	actor	and	talk	show	host	,	miller	is	too	coarse	,	questionable	and	smug	.	he	is	in	character	here	as	he	points	out	to	sarah	that	he	is	not	after	an	involvement	but	only	after	sex	.	(	his	succinct	,	explicit	phrasing	was	unprintable	in	the	main	paper	i	write	for	.	but	for	the	censorless	internet	it	was	:	"	i	just	want	to	fuck	.	"	)	sarah	also	has	somewhere	a	boy	friend	who	once	day	disappeared	.	she	and	puerto	rican	biker	tony	(	banderas	)	meet	cute	at	a	liquor	store	,	where	tattooed	tony	discourses	like	a	connoisseur	of	fine	wines	.	this	is	one	of	the	many	mistakes	of	the	film	,	since	he	looks	as	though	he	should	be	drinking	out	of	a	paper	bag	.	in	quick	succession	,	sarah	goes	to	his	pad	for	wine	tasting	,	which	means	immediate	,	vigorous	sex	.	later	the	two	reluctantly	exchange	information	about	themselves	.	tony	works	in	surveillance	,	electronic	and	otherwise	.	soon	the	plot	thickens	to	impenetrability	.	sarah	is	visited	by	her	estranged	and	it's	hinted	broadly	once	abusive	father	.	her	off	on	relationship	with	tony	goes	with	incrementally	kinky	sex	.	it	is	uninteresting	,	even	though	the	bodies	are	in	fine	shape	and	miss	de	mornay	is	not	siliconed	.	sarah	receives	a	gift	package	of	dead	flowers	,	then	another	with	her	dead	cat	.	later	she	reads	her	own	obituary	in	the	paper	.	the	audience	is	theoretically	supposed	to	suspect	everyone	,	including	max	who	was	released	for	lack	of	evidence	.	but	the	audience	doesn't	give	a	hoot	.	intermittently	suspecting	tony	,	sarah	engages	a	shabby	private	investigator	.	now	the	surveillance	man	is	under	surveillance	,	on	the	"	set	a	thief	to	catch	a	thief	"	principle	while	hitchcock	is	crying	in	movie	heaven	.	sarah	learns	that	tony	is	lying	about	his	trips	.	there's	an	attempt	on	her	life	via	an	electric	heater	that	is	hangs	loosely	right	over	her	bathtub	and	is	magically	supposed	to	fall	and	electrocute	her	at	the	right	moment	!	that's	about	the	only	electricity	in	the	film	,	since	there	is	none	between	de	mornay	and	banderas	.	instead	,	this	awfully	plotted	picture	throws	our	way	a	shipload	of	red	herrings	as	it	gets	exponentially	incoherent	,	improbable	,	impossible	,	unclear	,	dull	,	uninvolving	and	stupid	.	it	uses	a	plethora	of	flashbacks	and	or	visions	.	the	parts	don't	join	or	hold	together	.	the	proverbial	"	holes	so	big	that	you	can	drive	a	truck	through	"	are	here	fit	for	locomotives	.	the	production	values	are	good	,	with	slick	and	somber	camerawork	.	there	is	an	overabundance	of	shots	from	various	angles	that	stress	enclosed	spaces	or	suggest	partitions	such	as	freight	elevator	bars	,	railings	and	the	like	,	all	heavily	symbolic	of	cages	,	jails	and	separations	.	the	film	is	a	waste	of	everything	and	everyone	,	especially	old	reliable	harry	dean	stanton	,	whom	we	see	too	little	of	.	it	was	dumb	of	the	plot	to	have	had	him	released	from	jail	.	it	was	even	dumber	to	have	had	this	movie	released	.
neg	peter	ustinov	,	prunella	scales	and	sean	pertwee	make	complete	fools	of	themselves	in	this	unbelievably	feeble	comedy	.	ostensibly	a	spoof	on	merchant	ivory	productions	(	particularly	a	passage	to	india	)	and	the	english	class	system	,	it	is	simply	dreadful	.	a	bunch	of	upper	class	twits	,	the	ivorys	(	scales	,	georgina	cates	,	samuel	west	and	robert	portal	)	wander	about	india	,	accompanied	by	their	servant	george	(	pertwee	)	.	emily	ivory	(	cates	)	prefers	pertwee	,	who	is	a	commoner	,	to	her	upper	class	male	companions	.	since	they	are	closet	homosexuals	anyway	,	they	haven't	the	slightest	interest	in	her	.	however	,	their	love	affair	leads	to	trouble	and	dire	consequnces	for	george	.	i	have	a	confession	to	make	i	may	have	given	the	impression	that	there	is	a	coherent	plot	.	there	is	not	.	instead	,	there	is	a	series	of	desperately	unfunny	scenes	,	which	don't	deserve	a	description	.	the	film	attempts	to	emulate	the	carry	on	movies	,	but	fails	miserably	,	since	it	lacks	the	sense	of	fun	and	cheekiness	of	that	series	.	god	knows	what	director	and	writer	gary	sinyor	was	thinking	this	film	is	a	huge	step	down	after	his	promising	debut	(	leon	the	pig	farmer	)	and	his	follow	up	,	solitaire	for	two	.	one	can't	help	wishing	for	something	like	top	secret	or	hot	shots	!	while	watching	stiff	upper	lips	and	any	movie	that	makes	you	wish	for	a	charlie	sheen	performance	should	probably	left	well	alone	.
neg	the	following	review	encompasses	two	versions	of	dune	:	dune	:	the	theatrical	version	(	1984	)	runtime	:	137	minutes	rating	:	2	out	of	5	capsule	review	:	cut	down	to	just	over	two	hours	by	nervous	studio	executives	,	the	theatrical	version	of	dune	is	a	spectacular	mess	and	may	be	incomprehensible	to	those	unfamiliar	with	the	book	.	the	film's	visual	splendour	,	mystical	beauty	and	impressive	action	scenes	only	partly	compensate	for	gaping	holes	in	the	narrative	.	dune	:	the	extended	version	(	1988	)	runtime	:	189	minutes	rating	:	3	out	of	5	capsule	review	:	a	bit	of	a	throw	together	assembled	by	mca	tv	special	projects	for	cable	television	.	it	was	disowned	by	director	david	lynch	but	it's	considerably	closer	to	his	original	vision	by	virtue	of	its	improved	characterisation	and	clearer	storyline	.	quality	dubs	of	this	version	from	the	out	of	print	japanese	laserdisc	release	are	available	from	various	dealers	on	the	world	wide	web	.
neg	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	redbus	on	june	2	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	104	minutes	;	country	of	origin	uk	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	ben	elton	;	produced	by	phil	mcintyre	.	written	by	ben	elton	;	based	on	his	novel	"	inconceivable	"	.	photographed	by	roger	lanser	;	edited	by	peter	hollywood	.	to	see	ben	elton's	"	maybe	baby	"	is	to	suffer	one	of	the	most	embarrassing	of	things	a	comedian	straining	to	be	funny	.	successful	humour	comes	out	naturally	and	clearly	;	it	doesn't	need	to	be	underlined	,	shouted	or	propped	up	by	outlandish	gags	.	there	is	a	scene	in	this	movie	where	a	guy	is	being	read	the	results	of	a	sperm	test	,	which	tell	him	that	a	percentage	of	his	little	tadpoles	are	sluggish	.	"	sluggish	?	!	"	he	cries	.	"	couldn't	they	have	figured	out	a	better	way	of	putting	it	,	like	'relaxed'	?	relaxed	sperm	!	"	when	he's	told	that	some	are	swimming	in	the	wrong	direction	:	"	hello	?	!	they're	in	a	plastic	cup	!	!	"	these	same	lines	could	be	funny	,	if	the	guy	was	desperately	muttering	them	to	himself	,	as	rambling	thoughts	.	i	can	picture	woody	allen	playing	it	like	that	.	but	hugh	laurie	,	the	actor	onscreen	,	shouts	and	makes	expressive	gestures	,	as	if	playing	to	a	sitcom	laughter	track	.	a	lot	of	"	maybe	baby	"	is	like	that	although	on	the	surface	the	problem	seems	to	be	a	cheesy	screenplay	,	it's	actually	the	delivery	that's	off	.	i	kept	imagining	what	the	dialogue	would	sound	like	if	spoken	more	calmly	,	and	much	of	it	would	be	witty	,	warm	and	funny	.	that	is	not	a	defence	of	writer	director	elton	,	but	simply	an	observation	.	comedy	is	a	fifty	fifty	balancing	act	of	writing	and	performing	,	so	to	screw	up	even	one	of	these	is	no	small	matter	.	the	story	involves	a	thirtysomething	married	couple	happy	,	well	off	,	but	desperately	in	want	of	a	child	.	sam	(	laurie	)	and	lucy	(	joely	richardson	)	make	love	morning	and	night	,	in	time	slots	carefully	planned	around	lucy's	menstrual	cycle	,	but	months	go	by	without	any	sign	of	pregnancy	.	so	they	begin	to	try	in	vitro	fertilisation	treatment	;	a	long	,	frustrating	process	that	alternately	tests	their	wits	and	brings	them	closer	together	,	what	with	its	great	need	for	patience	and	emotional	commitment	.	it	would	be	fascinating	to	see	a	real	movie	about	the	subject	of	ivf	.	"	maybe	baby	"	is	not	it	.	we	don't	get	answers	to	our	obvious	curiosities	,	such	as	whether	or	not	sam	and	lucy	get	a	kid	,	or	how	they	react	to	that	success	or	failure	.	instead	,	the	plot	veers	off	into	sam	writing	a	screenplay	about	his	marriage	,	producing	it	in	secret	,	and	then	having	to	heal	lucy's	anger	when	she	finds	out	.	even	when	elton	is	concentrating	on	the	ivf	storyline	,	he	seems	more	interested	in	the	goofy	side	characters	it	gives	him	a	chance	to	introduce	.	among	them	are	a	loudmouth	scottish	film	director	(	tom	hollander	)	,	a	burlesque	australian	nurse	(	dawn	french	)	,	and	an	insane	gynaecologist	who	sadistically	dangles	his	instruments	(	rowan	atkinson	)	.	none	of	these	people	are	believable	,	and	since	this	isn't	a	slapstick	comedy	,	that	means	they're	not	funny	.	as	i've	said	,	anything	perceptive	that	might	have	existed	in	the	dialogue	is	ruined	by	the	over	the	top	delivery	,	so	ultimately	we're	left	with	nothing	interesting	but	a	couple	of	sexy	shots	of	joely	richardson	.	elton	based	"	maybe	baby	"	on	his	novel	"	inconceivable	"	,	which	he	has	said	was	inspired	in	concept	but	not	content	on	his	own	ivf	experiences	.	his	reason	for	not	making	it	more	autobiographical	was	that	he	felt	it	would	be	more	personally	comfortable	to	invent	contrived	humour	for	the	story	than	use	the	truth	.	that's	exactly	the	opposite	of	how	comedians	are	supposed	to	work	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	rich	psychiatrist	with	a	great	home	life	gets	his	cute	daughter	kidnapped	by	some	bad	guys	who	want	him	to	extract	some	information	from	the	mind	of	one	of	his	nutty	patients	.	of	course	,	the	patient	is	not	cooperative	and	the	doctor	only	has	a	few	hours	to	comply	with	their	demands	,	before	they	kill	his	daughter	.	pretty	good	premise	,	no	?	critique	:	if	you're	not	a	fan	of	movies	packed	with	plot	holes	,	inconsistencies	and	yes	,	even	more	plot	holes	,	heed	my	words	and	skip	this	hollow	thriller	.	and	i	don't	like	saying	that	either	,	since	this	film	actually	had	some	potential	and	started	off	pretty	well	.	sure	,	the	story	is	basically	just	an	amalgamation	of	ransom	,	primal	fear	and	nick	of	time	pureed	into	one	,	but	the	whole	"	psychiatrist	working	against	the	clock	"	thing	,	actually	had	me	engaged	at	first	.	but	it's	at	about	the	halfway	mark	of	this	movie	,	that	the	bottom	drops	out	and	all	that	we're	left	with	are	a	lot	of	questions	and	very	few	plausible	answers	.	we	get	the	overly	smart	kid	who	manages	to	"	pull	one	"	over	on	the	bad	guys	.	we	get	a	weak	woman	with	her	leg	in	a	cast	beating	the	crap	out	of	a	tough	bad	guy	.	we	get	douglas'	character	,	a	new	york	uppedity	psychiatrist	,	suddenly	turning	into	an	action	hero	,	with	moves	and	attitude	to	boot	.	and	what	about	the	film's	main	plot	point	?	why	would	the	bad	guys	still	give	a	crap	about	this	thing	after	10	years	,	and	even	more	so	,	why	would	they	only	give	the	shrink	until	the	day's	end	to	do	his	part	?	(	you	waited	10	years	,	what's	another	few	days	?	or	why	not	set	up	another	heist	instead	?	)	.	i'll	tell	you	why	,	it's	because	we	wouldn't	have	a	(	bad	)	movie	otherwise	,	that's	why	!	and	many	,	many	more	.	ugh	,	whatever	the	case	,	it	was	just	about	the	time	that	douglas'	character	suddenly	removed	murphy's	character	from	the	mental	home	(	and	how	come	she	went	with	him	so	nicely	?	i	thought	she	didn't	trust	him	)	,	that	i	turned	to	my	buddy	and	asked	when	the	movie	had	turned	into	a	joke	.	and	a	few	bogus	chase	and	action	sequences	later	,	we	were	left	with	a	long	winded	ending	that	did	little	to	answer	any	other	questions	i	might've	still	had	,	and	actually	brought	up	even	more	contradictions	.	badly	put	together	,	this	movie	features	some	decent	acting	,	some	nice	cinematography	and	an	initially	interesting	premise	,	but	loses	it	all	in	a	haze	of	plot	miscues	which	ultimately	leave	you	with	little	care	for	anyone	.	in	fact	,	if	it	wasn't	for	brittany	murphy's	excellent	portrayal	of	a	traumatized	teen	,	jennifer	esposito's	embarrassing	performance	as	a	police	woman	(	yeah	,	right	!	watching	her	delivering	lines	was	the	funniest	part	of	this	flick	but	it	wasn't	supposed	to	be	)	and	michael	douglas'	cool	"	regular	guy	"	part	,	there	would	be	little	reason	to	remain	seated	until	the	end	of	this	picture	.	incidentally	,	can	anyone	please	give	me	one	good	reason	why	esposito's	character	was	in	this	movie	in	the	first	place	?	she	was	completely	superfluous	.	and	on	top	of	all	that	,	by	the	end	of	this	flick	,	the	director	seems	to	have	realized	how	dumb	the	audience	must	be	to	have	bought	most	of	the	garbage	that	he'd	been	shoveling	out	for	the	hour	and	a	half	prior	,	and	decides	to	add	insult	to	injury	by	flashing	back	to	an	earlier	character's	death	when	one	of	the	bad	guys	dies	,	just	so	we	know	(	as	an	audience	)	,	that	the	two	are	interrelated	somehow	.	ooooh	,	thanks	,	mr	.	fleder	.	.	.	i	appreciate	the	spoon	feeding	,	dude	.	.	.	yum	,	yum	.	.	.	but	how	about	explaining	every	other	plot	point	in	your	film	that	made	no	sense	?	whatever	.	either	way	,	i	don't	give	a	rat's	ass	because	this	movie	is	a	dog	and	that's	unfortunate	because	it	actually	did	have	some	good	points	going	for	it	.	see	it	if	you	like	dumb	thrillers	.	incidentally	,	if	you	appreciated	along	came	a	spider	,	you	will	likely	enjoy	this	film	as	well	.	they	both	start	off	with	interesting	premises	,	only	to	toss	all	logic	and	sense	out	the	window	about	halfway	through	.	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	along	came	a	spider	(	4	10	)	girl	,	interrupted	(	5	10	)	kiss	the	girls	(	7	10	)	primal	fear	(	7	10	)	seven	(	10	10	)
neg	director	:	michael	caton	jones	writer	:	chuck	pfarrer	(	based	on	the	screenplay	"	the	day	of	the	jackal	"	by	kenneth	ross	,	"	which	was	in	turn	based	on	the	novel	by	frederick	forsyth	)	starring	:	bruce	willis	,	richard	gere	,	sidney	poitier	,	diane	venora	,	mathilda	may	,	j	.	k	.	simmons	,	richard	lineback	,	john	cunningham	,	jack	black	,	tess	harper	about	an	hour	or	so	into	"	the	jackal	,	"	a	character	wandered	around	as	people	were	being	shot	at	in	a	big	suspense	sequence	,	and	one	of	the	audience	members	in	the	theatre	i	saw	it	in	shouted	out	"	i	hope	she	gets	killed	now	!	"	at	that	point	it	hit	me	:	i	didn't	care	for	any	of	the	characters	being	played	by	actors	i	didn't	really	like	.	when	the	sole	reason	you	care	about	a	character	being	played	by	sidney	poitier	in	a	suspense	film	is	because	he's	being	played	by	sidney	poitier	,	you	know	something's	rotten	in	the	state	of	denmark	.	every	year	,	a	couple	films	like	this	are	released	.	you	know	:	the	cheap	,	action	packed	international	espionnage	film	,	featuring	a	semi	promising	premise	,	some	big	name	actors	(	usually	bruce	willis	)	,	and	the	hopes	that	some	audience	members	will	forget	the	cold	war	ended	several	years	ago	.	this	was	the	third	one	of	'97	,	following	the	very	lackluster	"	the	saint	,	"	which	featured	an	amoral	costume	changing	bond	wannabe	;	and	the	surprisingly	fun	"	the	peacemaker	,	"	featuring	clooney	and	kidman	trying	to	stop	an	almost	untraceable	villain	.	"	the	jackal	"	tries	to	mix	both	elements	.	and	you	thought	"	the	saint	"	was	bad	.	"	the	jackal	"	is	loosely	(	very	loosely	,	i	hope	)	based	on	the	1973	fred	zimmerman	classic	that	i've	yet	to	see	,	"	the	day	of	the	jackal	,	"	which	featured	(	apparently	)	a	suave	hitman	called	the	jackal	,	played	by	edward	fox	,	trying	to	assasinate	charles	degaule	.	well	,	welcome	to	the	90s	,	where	a	sorta	suave	hitman	,	also	called	the	jackal	(	bruce	willis	)	,	trying	to	kill	the	head	of	the	fbi	.	.	.	or	is	he	?	after	being	hired	by	a	russian	mob	lord	as	a	bit	of	vengeance	for	the	murder	of	his	brother	(	killed	in	the	opening	scenes	)	,	the	jackal	romps	all	over	the	northen	hemisphere	,	from	helsinki	to	virginia	,	setting	up	an	elaborate	scheme	wherein	he'll	be	able	to	assasinate	this	person	and	still	get	away	to	live	in	seclusion	.	and	like	the	saint	,	the	jackal	changes	his	look	over	and	over	and	over	again	to	elude	people	.	the	agent	working	on	the	case	,	cater	preston	(	sidney	poitier	yes	,	that	sidney	poitier	)	,	working	with	a	russian	agent	,	valentina	koslova	(	diane	venora	lady	capulet	from	"	romeo	juliet	"	)	,	gives	up	early	on	and	meets	with	an	ex	ira	man	,	declan	mulqueen	(	richard	gere	,	putting	up	some	tight	competition	between	himself	and	brad	pitt	for	worst	fake	irish	accent	of	'97	)	who's	in	a	massachusetts	jail	,	but	who	has	apparently	seen	the	jackal	,	who	has	been	eluding	the	law	forever	.	soon	,	he's	out	working	with	the	two	untrusting	agents	,	and	trying	to	help	them	catch	him	.	there	are	numerous	problems	with	the	film	,	and	which	one	is	the	biggest	one	is	pretty	impossible	to	put	a	finger	on	.	the	film	is	supposed	to	be	a	big	suspense	thriller	,	but	save	a	couple	moments	,	the	film	never	achieves	suspense	,	or	even	a	sense	of	intrigue	.	sure	,	the	big	assasination	attempt	is	a	bit	cool	looking	and	even	slightly	tense	,	but	every	other	scene	in	the	film	is	too	short	and	too	dull	to	register	.	the	film	never	picks	up	enough	to	become	a	thrilling	experience	,	or	even	an	entertaining	one	.	it	doesn't	help	that	the	plot	is	designed	to	be	complex	,	but	falls	into	so	many	problems	,	like	plot	holes	and	unbelievable	circumstances	.	the	script	of	"	the	jackal	"	is	a	complete	mess	,	mostly	because	it	can't	decide	what	it	wants	to	focus	on	.	is	this	a	film	about	a	man	trying	to	find	redemption	by	catching	a	nasty	killer	?	is	it	a	film	about	a	nasty	,	amoral	hitman	who's	in	everything	for	the	money	?	or	is	it	a	combination	of	both	?	"	the	jackal	"	aims	for	the	latter	,	but	never	focuses	in	on	either	character	.	the	connection	between	the	two	feels	completely	edited	,	so	much	that	in	a	scene	when	the	jackal	turns	around	and	notices	declan	,	you	wonder	how	he	recognized	him	so	fast	.	the	worst	part	is	the	little	past	they	try	to	give	declan	,	most	notably	his	relationship	with	an	old	girlfriend	,	isabella	(	mathilda	may	)	,	given	so	little	screen	time	that	you	almost	forget	her	character	exists	until	she	pops	up	every	now	and	then	.	the	supporting	characters	are	worse	.	sidney	poitier	is	given	a	completely	unplayable	role	,	that	of	a	man	who	is	just	stern	sometimes	,	and	other	times	more	giving	and	likable	.	what	is	poitier	doing	here	?	he's	one	of	the	best	living	actors	!	does	he	really	need	to	waste	his	time	doing	drivel	like	this	?	diane	venora's	russian	character	is	almost	as	bad	,	with	a	cigarette	perpetually	in	her	mouth	,	and	a	plastered	on	expressionless	facade	.	it's	not	that	anyone's	bad	here	;	it's	that	they	have	nothing	to	do	.	the	plot	is	a	joke	,	feeling	like	it	was	pasted	together	by	someone	in	post	production	who	dropped	each	scene	on	the	floor	and	pasted	them	together	quickly	so	it	could	be	released	on	time	.	the	jackal	himself	is	not	even	much	of	an	international	villain	.	there	are	several	times	where	he's	in	a	tight	situation	and	makes	things	worse	for	himself	,	the	only	explanation	being	that	the	filmmakers	wanted	to	toss	in	a	cheap	thrill	.	take	a	scene	where	he's	being	followed	by	some	agents	into	a	parking	garage	:	he	quickly	sprays	his	car	another	color	,	and	adds	a	solvent	that	if	touched	kills	the	person	who	touched	it	.	doesn't	killing	someone	attract	more	attention	than	it	does	distract	?	and	does	he	think	dying	his	hair	bottle	blond	makes	him	fit	in	in	a	public	place	?	geez	!	is	there	anything	good	here	?	well	.	.	.	a	couple	things	.	i	did	like	willis's	icy	expressions	;	he	may	not	have	been	real	suave	or	anything	,	but	some	of	his	looks	are	worth	a	chuckle	.	richard	gere	has	a	couple	of	good	moments	,	making	his	character	as	likable	as	he	possibly	could	have	.	and	a	couple	sequences	are	kicky	in	that	kind	of	proposterous	,	completely	inane	but	fun	kinda	way	,	most	notably	:	a	sequence	where	he	tests	out	a	new	gun	on	an	annoying	gun	builder	(	jack	black	)	;	and	a	bit	where	he	seduces	a	gay	washington	man	,	which	has	its	share	of	a	couple	good	jokes	,	most	particular	a	kiss	by	willis	.	but	none	of	these	elevate	the	film	any	higher	than	it	could	go	;	they're	just	little	distractions	along	the	way	to	amuse	us	mildly	then	toss	us	back	into	the	world	of	dullness	and	stupidity	that	is	"	the	jackal	.	"	director	michael	caton	jones	(	who	directed	the	far	superior	"	rob	roy	"	)	has	made	a	film	that	is	made	very	couple	months	,	one	that	is	unentertaining	,	unintriguing	,	and	pretty	much	cold	,	but	will	nevertheless	make	money	because	,	hey	,	the	trailers	do	make	it	look	like	it	may	be	fun	in	that	kind	of	retro	clancy	kinda	way	.	every	now	and	then	,	the	filmmakers	get	it	right	(	"	clear	and	present	danger	,	"	which	was	enormous	fun	in	that	smart	kinda	way	)	,	but	"	the	jackal	"	is	an	example	of	when	they	go	completely	wrong	.
neg	naked	souls	(	1995	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1999	justin	felix	.	any	comments	about	this	review	?	contact	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	"	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	a	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	written	by	frank	dietz	.	directed	by	lyndon	chubbuck	.	starring	pamela	anderson	,	david	warner	,	and	dean	stockwell	.	rated	r	(	contains	nudity	,	sexuality	,	profanity	,	and	violence	)	85	mins	.	synopsis	:	big	breasted	and	dim	witted	sculptress	britt	gets	really	mad	at	her	grad	student	boyfriend	because	he	spends	too	much	time	on	his	thought	transference	experiments	instead	of	her	art	showings	.	elderly	,	evil	scientist	everett	longstreet	switches	minds	with	britt's	boy	,	in	the	meantime	,	and	goes	completely	mental	.	comments	:	naked	souls	opens	with	a	naked	woman	,	and	the	movie	makes	no	illusion	that	it's	a	sci	fi	vehicle	designed	to	show	pamela	anderson's	,	um	,	talents	.	if	you	are	really	interested	in	seeing	anderson's	talents	,	however	,	i	suggest	you	skip	over	this	dud	and	watch	the	infamous	pam	and	tommy	lee	honeymoon	sex	tape	,	now	available	on	home	video	.	at	least	with	that	"	movie	,	"	you	don't	have	to	go	through	the	painful	experience	of	watching	pamela	try	to	pronounce	multiple	syllable	words	like	"	eclectic	.	"	a	premise	does	exist	in	the	movie	.	basically	,	while	anderson	wears	skimpy	clothes	which	barely	contain	her	talents	,	she	practices	her	art	brilliantly	slapping	plaster	of	paris	on	naked	women	.	her	boyfriend	,	meanwhile	,	spends	20	hours	a	day	in	a	morgue	trying	to	view	the	memories	of	dead	prison	inmates	because	this	will	"	make	a	difference	to	humanity	.	"	whatever	.	the	movie	fails	to	explain	how	these	two	hooked	up	.	be	grateful	.	after	we	meet	the	evil	everett	longstreet	,	lots	of	technobabble	and	mystical	mumbo	jumbo	get	tossed	about	,	pammy	has	sex	replete	with	cheesy	make	out	music	,	and	minds	get	transferred	.	never	fear	,	though	,	pammy	uses	her	sharp	mental	abilities	(	ahem	)	to	save	her	boyfriend	in	the	end	.	unfortunately	,	no	one	saves	the	movie	.	avoid	this	would	be	sci	fi	thriller	,	unless	you're	in	for	a	good	laugh	or	two	.
neg	house	on	haunted	hill	(	1999	)	starring	taye	diggs	,	geoffrey	rush	,	ali	larter	,	famke	janssen	,	peter	gallagher	,	bridgette	wilson	,	max	perlich	,	lisa	loeb	,	james	marsters	,	and	chris	kattan	.	directed	by	william	malone	,	written	by	dick	beebe	,	"	house	on	haunted	hill	"	initializes	itself	to	the	audience	with	a	scene	involving	zombie	like	mental	patients	attacking	and	murdering	doctors	in	the	goriest	ways	possible	.	one	doctor	is	killed	instantly	after	having	a	pencil	rammed	completely	through	his	neck	.	a	nurse	has	her	head	forced	into	a	barrel	of	water	.	these	mobs	of	zombies	presented	are	like	those	in	previous	b	horror	flicks	,	with	grunting	noises	and	cadaverous	movements	.	except	this	time	,	at	the	end	of	the	millenium	,	the	film	is	given	the	power	to	show	exactly	how	horrific	these	creatures	can	be	.	in	past	horror	films	,	the	actual	murder	scenes	are	left	out	or	not	shown	forcing	the	viewer	to	assume	their	own	nasty	bloody	deaths	for	the	hapless	victims	.	"	house	on	haunted	hill	"	doesn't	want	their	audience	to	have	an	imagination	,	everything	is	provided	for	them	to	watch	and	squirm	,	not	think	.	this	nonsense	violence	thrown	out	of	nowhere	is	unfortunately	the	most	refreshing	part	about	this	film	.	"	house	on	haunted	hill	"	,	which	is	based	on	the	1958	film	of	the	same	title	,	introduces	a	handful	of	characters	as	quickly	as	it	can	,	following	the	opening	blood	fest	.	the	film	has	no	intention	of	providing	character	development	or	a	laudable	plot	.	the	aim	here	is	to	scare	the	audience	with	chilling	,	unexpected	shots	of	blood	,	guts	,	and	mayhem	.	however	,	the	film	is	neither	scary	nor	unpredictable	.	the	plot	involves	five	people	who	are	dared	to	spend	the	night	in	a	haunted	house	for	one	million	dollars	by	an	amusement	park	owner	(	geoffrey	rush	)	.	each	character	is	a	failure	in	the	external	world	and	acknowledges	that	they	would	do	anything	for	that	money	.	since	the	characters	are	immediately	generalized	as	either	greedy	or	caring	,	the	expectations	of	who	will	survive	or	not	is	killed	five	minutes	after	you	meet	them	.	the	problem	is	that	every	character	is	not	likable	.	the	two	who	come	closest	to	being	civilized	are	a	womanizer	(	taye	diggs	who	should	be	doing	films	a	lot	better	than	this	with	all	of	his	talent	)	and	a	businesswoman	who	accepts	being	womanized	(	ali	larter	)	.	the	characters	presented	are	so	annoying	and	pathetic	,	that	it	is	hard	to	cheer	for	them	or	scream	them	.	the	worst	character	in	this	film	,	or	maybe	in	any	film	released	this	year	,	is	chris	kattan's	watson	pritchett	.	he	spends	the	whole	film	whining	about	the	spooky	house	in	a	tone	so	irritating	and	inappropriate	,	that	he	unintentionally	begins	to	seem	more	evil	than	the	house	itself	.	waiting	for	pritchett	to	die	,	was	a	strenuously	difficult	act	to	sit	through	.	the	most	humorous	actor	of	the	bunch	is	geoffrey	rush	playing	steven	price	(	an	homage	to	victor	price	who	starred	in	the	original	)	.	playing	the	rich	man	who	supposedly	organized	the	party	,	he	plays	the	role	perfectly	in	a	twisted	way	where	it	is	obvious	that	he	is	up	to	something	just	by	the	expressions	on	his	face	.	however	,	rush	is	pretty	much	wasted	in	a	confusing	subplot	involving	a	hateful	marriage	with	evelyn	price	,	played	by	famke	janssen	.	the	main	problem	is	that	"	house	on	haunted	hill	"	is	not	scary	.	to	top	off	that	huge	disappointment	,	every	actor	was	wasted	and	the	script	was	completely	ludicrous	.	if	the	annoying	characters	and	hilariously	bad	dialogue	were	intentionally	underdeveloped	(	similar	to	"	deep	blue	sea	"	)	,	the	goal	for	creating	a	creepy	,	suspenseful	action	film	was	completely	missed	.
neg	cast	:	leonardo	dicaprio	,	tilda	swinton	,	virginie	ledoyen	,	guillaume	canet	,	robert	carlyle	director	:	danny	boyle	producer	(	s	)	:	andrew	macdonald	,	callum	mcdougall	disillusioned	and	trying	to	find	the	spice	of	life	,	richard	(	leonardo	dicaprio	)	sets	off	for	thailand	.	there	he	a	meets	crazed	man	by	the	name	of	daffy	(	robert	carlyle	)	who	gives	him	a	map	to	a	beach	,	a	secret	utopia	,	then	commits	suicide	.	richard	sets	off	for	this	beach	with	his	neighbors	from	this	hotel	,	tienne	(	guillaume	canet	)	and	franoise	(	virginie	ledoyen	)	.	once	they	get	there	the	three	discover	a	secret	society	existing	on	this	beach	,	there	richard	falls	for	franoise	.	this	covers	about	half	to	two	thirds	of	the	movie	and	aside	from	the	romantic	element	,	which	is	solely	a	creation	of	hollywood	,	seems	to	hold	to	the	original	novel	.	the	cinematography	and	general	beauty	of	this	part	of	the	movie	is	breathtaking	.	i	don't	think	anyone	can	argue	that	this	movie	is	visually	stunning	.	but	that	is	were	many	things	go	wrong	,	darius	khondji	has	totally	outdone	himself	in	doing	the	cinematography	.	though	the	script	and	the	interpretation	of	the	novel	are	quite	lacking	.	the	plot	of	the	movie	moves	along	at	a	decent	pace	for	about	half	of	the	movie	or	there	abouts	.	this	is	where	the	movie	has	some	great	potential	,	then	the	three	travelers	get	the	island	and	there	is	a	turn	for	the	better	,	yes	folks	i	said	better	.	now	up	to	about	two	thirds	of	this	movie	its	actually	pretty	good	,	nothing	spectacular	aside	from	the	cinematography	but	it	still	has	promise	.	this	is	where	things	start	to	degenerate	to	something	that	becomes	almost	un	watchable	.	there	is	even	a	'video	game'	style	sequence	that	borders	on	the	disgusting	,	it	doesn't	make	sense	for	the	movie	and	just	looks	dumb	in	my	opinion	(	and	i	am	hoping	many	other	peoples	)	.	i	am	hoping	that	in	my	little	rant	i've	made	it	abundantly	clear	that	the	movie	is	lacking	quite	seriously	in	plot	and	uneven	pacing	,	so	if	you	go	see	it	and	you	don't	like	it	because	of	this	don't	blame	me	.	the	character	development	was	not	up	to	par	either	;	i	found	the	character	of	richard	to	be	nothing	more	than	a	spoiled	child	.	although	there	is	a	feeble	attempt	to	make	this	whole	story	profound	it	fails	and	richard	(	leo's	character	)	comes	off	as	a	wannabe	philosopher	.	the	character	seems	to	be	underdeveloped	from	the	get	go	and	seems	to	just	do	things	for	no	apparent	reason	,	granted	some	people	are	like	this	(	myself	included	)	but	i	nor	anyone	i	know	that	is	fairly	random	would	ever	do	things	of	the	sort	this	character	does	.	the	next	point	is	that	some	of	the	really	interesting	characters	are	simply	not	developed	enough	.	richard	is	obviously	obsessed	by	franoise	at	the	early	stages	of	the	story	,	yet	there	is	actually	very	little	development	along	this	story	line	.	this	i	am	sure	contributes	to	the	movie's	lack	of	core	plot	and	being	unfocused	.	now	,	i	shall	move	onto	something	a	little	better	about	the	movie	(	for	all	you	cynics	out	there	the	movie	did	have	a	few	good	things	about	it	)	.	the	cast	and	acting	was	passable	at	the	very	least	,	and	i	think	that	leonardo	dicaprio	actually	did	pretty	well	in	the	role	of	richard	.	mind	you	i	think	the	rest	of	the	cast	that	had	some	which	had	reasonably	sized	roles	did	equally	well	if	not	better	.	which	begs	the	question	why	is	leonardo	paid	so	much	?	(	i	think	this	is	a	topic	all	on	its	own	so	i	won't	get	into	it	)	.	but	i	like	the	fact	that	there	was	an	international	cast	used	,	had	only	and	american	cast	been	used	i	can	see	this	movie	being	horrible	.	the	international	flavor	added	a	more	global	feel	to	the	movie	that	made	it	that	much	more	bearable	.	not	to	mention	the	movie	is	set	in	thailand	and	a	global	cast	makes	more	sense	.	when	all	is	said	and	done	i	liked	the	movie	for	the	most	part	but	the	gaping	inadequacies	of	the	plot	are	unforgivable	.	i	would	not	recommend	this	movie	to	anyone	,	the	fact	that	i	liked	it	has	a	lot	to	do	with	the	cinematography	and	the	sheer	beauty	of	the	movie	not	its	plot	or	story	.	as	it	is	the	story	tries	to	be	much	too	philosophical	and	fails	at	its	attempt	.	if	you	do	end	up	going	to	see	this	movie	be	forewarned	about	its	shortcomings	.	february	21	,	2000	for	any	comments	i	can	be	reached	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bootsector	hotmail	.	com	"	bootsector	hotmail	.	com	a
neg	1	2	(	out	of	4	)	the	previews	for	the	movie	are	pretty	good	.	they	show	a	little	plot	,	all	the	characters	,	and	the	emotional	highlights	,	all	spliced	together	to	give	a	general	impression	of	the	script	.	unfortunately	,	the	full	movie	adds	nothing	but	115	minutes	.	the	residents	of	mystery	love	hockey	.	mystery	and	hockey	go	together	like	texas	and	high	school	football	.	the	townsfolk	love	hockey	so	much	that	they	even	acquit	a	player	who's	guilty	of	shooting	another	man	(	yes	,	that's	one	of	the	movie's	jokes	.	)	every	saturday	,	the	best	players	pair	off	for	a	game	,	and	the	whole	town	comes	to	watch	.	the	town's	prodigal	son	charlie	(	hank	azaria	)	wrote	an	article	on	the	weekly	game	for	sports	illustrated	.	mystery's	national	fame	has	the	town	abuzz	.	a	week	later	,	charlie	actually	shows	up	in	person	,	and	he	brings	with	him	an	offer	from	the	nhl	.	the	new	york	rangers	will	come	to	mystery	to	play	the	locals	.	the	mysterians	see	this	as	both	good	and	bad	.	on	the	one	hand	,	they'd	love	to	have	the	fame	and	the	money	of	such	an	exhibition	.	on	the	other	hand	,	they	don't	want	to	turn	up	as	the	butt	of	leno	and	letterman	jokes	.	the	movie	follows	a	handful	of	lives	that	are	affected	by	the	proposition	.	biebe	(	russell	crowe	)	has	just	been	retired	from	the	team	and	is	asked	to	coach	the	boys	,	including	his	new	replacement	.	he's	already	resentful	,	and	to	top	it	off	charlie	has	been	making	eyes	at	his	wife	.	crowe	is	not	given	a	lot	of	room	to	act	in	this	film	,	so	he's	just	kind	of	stuck	with	constantly	brooding	.	charlie	,	meanwhile	,	is	resentful	of	having	born	in	a	town	where	hockey	is	the	only	measure	of	a	man's	worth	.	his	"	gift	"	of	the	feature	story	,	and	of	the	new	york	rangers	,	was	his	way	of	compensating	for	not	being	a	better	skater	.	he	hoped	it	would	earn	him	some	respect	and	merit	,	but	the	townspeople	find	reasons	to	continue	disliking	him	.	burt	reynolds	could	have	been	interesting	as	walter	,	the	judge	whose	courtroom	was	befouled	by	a	moronic	jury	of	hockey	fans	.	walter	actually	has	some	experience	with	collegiate	hockey	,	but	he	actively	tries	to	put	it	behind	him	.	he	wants	his	son	to	take	the	game	more	seriously	,	but	he	wants	his	community	to	just	get	over	it	.	reynolds	could	have	been	good	,	but	sloppy	writing	and	or	editing	keep	walter	in	the	corner	,	and	so	reynolds	never	really	gets	to	pull	his	performance	all	together	.	one	character	actually	was	interesting	.	biebe's	wife	(	mary	mccormack	)	,	like	the	judge	,	understood	that	there	was	more	to	life	than	hockey	.	but	unlike	him	she	has	come	to	accept	the	skewed	view	of	the	community	.	she	chose	the	town	and	her	husband	with	her	eyes	wide	open	.	her	unique	insight	is	verbalized	once	,	and	it	lasts	only	a	scene	before	it	is	gone	,	but	her	performance	carries	the	hint	of	some	deeper	wisdom	.	mysterty	,	alaska	follows	a	handful	of	other	characters	,	but	none	are	well	developed	or	worth	mentioning	.	the	biggest	problem	with	this	movie	is	that	there	is	no	real	heart	to	the	story	,	no	underlying	thing	that	the	movie	is	really	about	.	instead	,	roach	and	screenwriters	david	e	.	kelley	and	sean	o'byrne	try	to	cram	the	entire	human	condition	into	this	sports	comedy	.	they	try	to	make	you	laugh	and	cry	,	to	feel	outrage	and	pride	.	they	present	the	framing	and	cadence	for	jokes	,	but	there's	nothing	truly	funny	.	they	show	appropriately	staged	scenes	of	sadness	,	but	they	give	you	nothing	to	be	really	sad	about	.	as	columnist	molly	ivins	would	say	,	it's	all	hat	,	no	cattle	.	the	perfect	opportunity	arises	for	roach	to	say	what	this	movie	is	really	about	.	there	is	a	funeral	scene	,	played	with	appropriate	gravity	and	somber	music	.	it	is	a	chance	for	the	characters	to	reflect	on	their	lives	and	decide	what's	truly	important	.	russell	crowe	steps	forward	to	speak	,	about	to	spell	out	the	movie's	metaphor	for	us	.	he	says	that	what	really	matters	in	life	is	"	community	.	.	.	.	"	then	adds	"	and	hockey	.	"	i	guess	these	mysterians	really	are	as	shallow	as	they	appear	.	only	mildly	bad	,	mystery	,	alaska	probably	deserves	2	stars	.	i	even	laughed	out	loud	,	genuine	laughs	in	places	.	but	i	docked	it	an	extra	half	star	when	mike	myers	,	a	friend	of	roach	,	turned	up	in	a	role	that	didn't	suit	him	.	myers	is	a	comic	character	actor	.	he	puts	on	masks	,	becomes	an	outrageous	caricature	,	and	is	funny	.	he's	great	as	austin	powers	,	dr	.	evil	,	or	any	of	his	scottish	characters	.	nobody	else	in	mysterty	,	alaska	is	a	comic	caricature	.	all	the	other	people	have	the	feel	of	dramatic	characters	in	semi	serious	roles	.	for	roach	to	bring	in	myers	for	a	few	cheap	laughs	shows	incredible	contempt	toward	the	rest	of	his	cast	,	toward	his	audience	,	and	indeed	toward	the	film	itself	.	it's	an	acknowledgment	by	the	director	that	the	film	is	not	worth	taking	seriously	.
neg	written	by	:	by	steve	franks	,	tim	herlihy	and	adam	sandlerstarring	:	adam	sandler	,	joey	lauren	adams	,	jon	stewartsynopsis	:	sonny	koufax	(	adam	sandler	)	is	a	rich	,	childish	,	angry	man	who	has	just	been	dumped	by	his	girlfriend	vanessa	(	kristy	swanson	)	.	in	a	bid	to	impress	vanessa	sonny	impersonates	his	friend	kevin	(	jon	stewart	)	and	adopts	a	5	year	old	boy	named	julian	(	cole	and	dylan	sprouse	)	while	kevin	is	on	an	overseas	trip	.	under	sonny's	supervision	julian	soon	learns	to	lie	to	women	,	tell	people	how	he	"	wipes	his	ass	,	"	throw	tantrums	,	and	scream	for	his	"	god	damned	"	treats	.	self	centered	,	julian	breaks	a	school	classmate's	arm	without	apologizing	or	even	realizing	he	has	done	anything	wrong	.	meanwhile	sonny	bribes	julian	with	sugary	talk	,	food	,	toys	,	and	flashy	promises	in	order	to	get	the	kid	to	perform	.	not	surprisingly	the	government	takes	julian	away	from	sonny's	incompetent	supervision	,	and	this	leads	to	a	custody	battle	.	opinion	:	it's	a	movie	about	an	embittered	creep	teaching	a	little	kid	to	be	a	jerk	,	and	we	all	get	cheap	laughs	because	for	90	minutes	the	innocent	kindergartner	never	finds	out	what	it	means	when	he	mimics	all	the	bad	boy	behavior	.	that's	the	essence	of	big	daddy	.	but	there's	a	bigger	issue	involved	:	marketing	.	movies	that	are	rated	pg	and	pg	13	are	heavily	marketed	towards	children	of	preteen	age	and	below	.	on	tv	,	film	clips	advertise	these	movies	as	family	friendly	hit	comedies	.	then	when	you	go	see	them	they	turn	out	to	be	either	raunchy	sex	acts	like	austin	powers	with	characters	named	fat	bastard	or	big	daddy	where	adult	characters	get	their	jollies	by	buddying	up	to	naive	five	year	olds	and	encouraging	them	to	experiment	with	drugs	and	mistreatment	.	folks	in	hollywood	are	trying	to	develop	a	preteen	market	for	raunchy	stuff	,	but	i	think	most	american	parents	would	agree	that	early	childhood	is	a	time	of	mental	innocence	that	should	be	protected	from	uncaring	media	market	exploitation	.	to	many	american	mothers	there's	probably	nothing	more	pathetic	and	unsettling	than	the	sight	of	a	theater	full	of	unsupervised	little	eight	year	olds	laughing	raucously	as	movie	character	father	adam	sandler	jokes	about	a	woman's	"	ice	cold	tits	.	"
neg	director	:	david	nutter	writer	:	scott	rosenberg	starring	:	jimmy	marsden	,	katie	holmes	,	nick	stahl	,	bruce	greenwood	,	william	sadler	,	steve	railsback	,	chad	donella	,	katherine	isabelle	,	ethan	embry	i'm	not	sure	who	the	genius	is	who	came	up	with	the	idea	of	comparing	"	disturbing	behavior	"	with	"	scream	.	"	maybe	it's	because	they're	both	horror	films	(	kinda	)	,	both	have	hot	young	stars	,	both	have	an	annoying	alternative	soundtrack	,	and	both	are	aimed	at	the	teenage	crowd	,	which	i	guess	includes	me	.	but	this	is	not	the	next	in	line	with	the	"	scream	"	flicks	as	well	as	the	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	soon	to	be	flicks	.	it	owes	less	to	"	halloween	"	and	more	to	kafka	and	orwell	,	which	,	in	my	book	,	makes	for	a	more	interesting	feature	.	and	it	should	have	been	.	this	is	basically	a	rehash	of	"	the	stepford	wives	,	"	the	great	70s	film	i	never	saw	starring	katherine	ross	and	dealing	,	as	i've	been	told	,	with	a	bunch	of	women	who	are	programmed	to	be	perfect	housewives	.	or	something	like	that	.	"	behavior	,	"	starring	katie	holmes	of	"	dawson's	creek	,	"	deals	with	a	bunch	of	teenagers	,	deep	in	angst	,	who	are	being	programmed	to	be	perfect	teenagers	.	suck	ups	.	preppies	.	it	actually	,	at	least	to	me	,	sounds	like	it	would	work	,	and	with	scott	rosenberg	,	that	witty	penmen	who	has	written	stuff	like	"	beautiful	girls	"	and	"	things	to	do	in	denver	when	you're	dead	"	(	as	well	as	"	con	air	"	)	,	it	actually	sounds	like	it	may	be	pulled	off	with	the	right	amount	of	frights	and	satiric	wit	.	alas	,	it's	not	,	and	it	plumets	into	that	little	group	of	movies	known	as	"	the	movies	with	potential	that	blow	it	.	"	i	remember	a	film	called	"	white	man's	burden	"	which	dealt	with	a	reversal	of	blacks	and	whites	in	society	that	did	nothing	with	it's	potentially	brilliant	premise	.	here's	another	one	.	it	could	be	a	brilliant	satire	on	how	teenagers	need	to	go	through	teen	angst	in	order	to	find	themselves	.	it's	a	stage	,	and	this	film	does	in	fact	realize	that	.	it	gets	its	message	across	and	it	does	it	effortlessly	.	now	it	just	needs	to	work	as	a	film	.	which	it	doesn't	.	it's	too	sloppy	and	too	contrived	.	it	paints	a	bleak	portrait	of	high	school	life	.	.	.	then	lets	it	lie	.	it	brings	us	a	bunch	of	scary	monsters	who	are	all	a	bunch	of	disgustingly	icky	kiss	ups	who	do	food	drives	and	hang	out	at	a	50s	diner	drinking	milk	shakes	.	.	.	then	gives	it	a	cheap	twist	:	when	they	get	horny	,	they	become	homicidal	.	isn't	it	scary	enough	that	they're	like	this	,	and	can't	the	real	terror	in	the	town	be	that	you	could	be	next	to	be	just	like	them	not	that	you	could	be	next	to	die	?	the	film	introduces	us	two	three	different	characters	who	,	in	the	beginning	,	are	considered	outsiders	because	they're	not	(	yet	)	part	of	this	clique	:	the	new	kid	,	steve	(	james	marsden	dull	dull	dull	dull	)	,	who's	having	trouble	at	home	because	he	hasn't	gotten	over	his	brother's	(	ethan	embry	,	in	quick	flashes	so	you	don't	recognize	him	i	did	)	suicide	;	the	renegade	girl	,	rachel	(	katie	holmes	,	from	"	dawson's	creek	"	)	,	who's	chief	personality	trait	is	her	prominent	nose	ring	;	and	by	far	the	most	interesting	kid	,	gavin	(	nick	stahl	,	the	kid	from	"	the	man	without	a	face	"	)	,	who's	the	most	interesting	because	he's	the	only	character	who's	given	some	dimension	.	in	the	film's	best	scene	,	he	introduces	steve	to	every	single	clique	,	nailing	each	one's	fetishes	and	hang	ups	,	and	it's	the	best	scene	in	the	movie	because	it's	witty	,	satirical	,	and	interesting	something	the	rest	of	this	film	isn't	.	gavin	suspects	there's	something	awry	with	the	preppie	kids	,	known	as	the	blue	ribbons	,	and	in	the	tradition	of	all	conspirators	,	and	even	when	he	actually	shows	hard	pure	evidence	to	steve	,	he's	only	treated	as	a	typical	raving	conspiracy	buff	.	here	,	we	have	another	case	of	"	the	idiot	plot	,	"	where	not	only	could	steve	had	done	something	about	gavin	and	what	happens	to	him	,	but	he	may	have	saved	this	film	from	being	the	dreary	,	dull	film	that	it	is	without	gavin	,	who	gives	it	life	and	humor	.	the	only	other	half	interesting	character	is	the	school	janitor	,	played	by	william	sadler	as	a	retarded	,	scary	guy	who	may	not	be	what	he	seems	to	be	.	.	.	but	really	,	we	don't	care	anyway	.	i	probably	shouldn't	mention	that	this	was	directed	by	david	nutter	,	who's	works	for	"	the	x	files	,	"	because	that	would	probably	tarnish	his	reputation	.	like	the	show	,	he's	good	at	setting	up	weird	conspiracies	,	and	creating	a	general	creepy	feel	.	most	of	this	film	is	shot	at	night	and	with	dark	eerie	shadows	for	the	maximum	creepy	effect	,	and	some	of	it	works	.	but	what	this	film	is	not	so	good	at	is	coming	out	with	a	good	payoff	.	he	keeps	too	much	inside	,	so	much	that	when	the	characters	journey	to	a	mental	institution	in	the	third	act	,	you	wonder	why	they	just	don't	get	the	hell	out	of	there	.	i	think	what	happens	to	gavin	is	proof	enough	that	there's	something	rotten	in	the	state	of	teen	angstdom	.	what	this	film	needs	to	be	is	a	lot	longer	,	a	lot	more	colorful	,	and	a	lot	creepier	.	if	the	best	villain	they	can	come	up	with	is	a	guidance	counselor	(	played	by	bruce	greenwood	,	an	atom	egoyan	regular	obviously	just	trying	to	pay	the	rent	)	who	still	thinks	he	can	get	away	with	it	even	when	most	is	revealed	,	then	they	need	to	come	up	with	a	tougher	,	smarter	villain	.	if	he's	so	villainous	,	then	why	could	two	dense	teenagers	who	couldn't	figure	out	there	was	something	going	on	until	it	was	way	too	late	find	information	on	him	in	a	couple	minutes	?	the	film	,	which	runs	about	80	or	so	minutes	,	just	needs	to	work	on	these	things	,	and	become	a	lot	less	sloppy	.	at	such	a	short	running	time	and	with	such	lame	,	boring	characters	as	these	,	it's	pretty	much	obvious	that	leaving	this	film	leaves	a	horribly	unsatisfied	taste	in	one's	mouth	,	especially	mine	.
neg	rating	:	1	2	out	of	3	.	0	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	jonny	lee	miller	(	dade	murphy	crash	override	)	,	angelina	jolie	(	kate	libby	acid	burn	)	,	jesse	bradford	(	joey	)	,	matthew	lillard	(	emmanuel	goldstein	cereal	killer	)	,	laurence	mason	(	paul	cook	lord	nikon	)	,	renoly	santiago	(	phantom	phreak	)	,	fisher	stevens	(	eugene	belford	the	plague	)	director	:	iain	softley	certification	:	pg	13	(	usa	)	for	mild	language	and	some	sexuality	year	of	production	:	1995	ever	since	wargames	,	the	first	real	computer	hacking	movie	,	hollywood	has	attempted	to	produce	more	and	more	films	about	hacking	.	these	films	usually	show	the	audience	a	look	into	computers	that	really	is	not	impossible	and	is	usually	ridiculous	.	if	it's	not	this	,	the	exaggeration	about	what	is	real	is	usually	greater	than	you	would	expect	.	hackers	is	guilty	of	all	of	these	crimes	.	to	anyone	familiar	with	computers	and	or	the	internet	,	most	of	the	movie	is	so	incredibly	stupid	that	you	can't	take	it	anymore	.	those	of	you	who	frequent	one	of	the	greatest	sites	on	the	world	wide	web	,	the	internet	movie	database	,	are	probably	aware	of	the	section	for	movies	entitled	"	goofs	"	.	this	is	the	section	for	mistakes	in	the	movies	.	well	,	imdb	sums	up	hackers	extremely	well	with	the	first	goof	listed	:	"	generally	ill	informed	and	ridiculous	to	the	extreme	regarding	the	capabilities	of	computers	and	technology	"	.	and	truthfully	,	this	is	one	hundred	percent	correct	.	the	plot	,	obviously	,	centers	around	computer	hacking	.	more	specifically	,	it	follows	the	exploits	of	dade	murphy	,	a	young	computer	hacker	played	by	jonny	lee	miller	.	miller	should	be	extremely	thankful	for	the	film	trainspotting	,	because	if	it	were	not	for	that	,	who	knows	where	his	career	would	be	now	after	hackers	.	the	film	opens	with	a	young	dade	murphy	being	arrested	for	hacking	computer	systems	.	he	was	forbidden	to	use	a	computer	until	he	turned	eighteen	years	old	.	the	film	then	picks	up	at	that	point	,	an	eighteen	year	old	dade	murphy	hacking	away	at	the	computer	.	dade	later	meets	up	with	fellow	hackers	acid	burn	(	angelina	jolie	)	,	cereal	killer	(	matthew	lillard	)	,	lord	nikon	(	laurence	mason	)	,	and	the	phantom	phreak	(	renoly	santiago	)	,	who	are	basically	trying	to	do	what	is	next	to	impossible	:	hack	the	gibson	computer	and	not	get	caught	by	the	fbi	.	oh	,	and	as	a	little	sub	plot	,	dade	also	tries	to	woo	acid	burn	,	the	only	female	hacker	in	the	film	.	really	,	i	can't	think	of	much	more	to	say	about	the	film's	plot	aside	from	what	i've	said	.	it's	just	a	bunch	of	computer	geeks	(	no	,	obsessive	compulsive	computer	geeks	a	little	too	advanced	for	reality	)	running	around	hacking	computers	and	staying	away	from	the	fbi	.	thanks	to	this	movie	,	the	public	unfamiliar	with	computers	now	has	a	distorted	viewpoint	of	computers	and	what	they	can	do	.	this	movie	makes	computers	look	a	little	bit	too	advanced	for	their	time	,	and	the	frivolous	suggestions	it	makes	are	too	many	to	list	.	to	sum	it	up	,	hackers	is	a	terrible	computer	film	.	if	you're	looking	for	a	film	about	computers	closer	to	what	goes	on	in	the	real	world	,	i	suggest	sneakers	.	although	at	times	it	too	may	seem	a	little	far	fetched	,	it	should	be	much	more	believable	than	hackers	to	regular	computer	users	.	hopefully	,	this	film	didn't	influence	too	many	young	computer	users	out	to	think	they	can	do	what	is	portrayed	in	this	105	minute	waste	of	time	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
neg	contrary	to	what	the	previews	might	have	you	believe	,	"	deep	blue	sea	"	is	not	a	film	about	smart	sharks	.	i	don't	personally	believe	the	sharks	involved	were	particularly	intelligent	.	the	movie	is	actually	about	stupid	people	.	for	example	,	in	one	scene	,	our	supposedly	brilliant	scientists	are	trapped	in	their	cozy	little	underwater	lab	while	a	shark	smashes	the	large	window	they're	all	staring	through	.	the	window	cracks	all	over	the	place	,	water	starts	leaking	through	,	and	still	the	group	continues	to	stare	.	finally	,	it	shatters	completely	,	and	only	samuel	l	.	jackson's	character	has	the	brains	to	tell	everyone	to	run	.	i	truly	believe	that	if	he	hadn't	said	anything	,	they	all	would	have	been	washed	out	into	the	sea	,	still	staring	blankly	ahead	.	this	is	simply	one	of	the	more	idiotic	scenes	in	an	incredibly	stupid	movie	.	dr	.	susan	mcalester	(	saffron	burrows	)	is	a	driven	scientist	who	is	obsessed	with	finding	the	cure	for	alzheimer's	.	the	problem	is	,	she's	not	showing	any	results	,	and	her	funding	is	about	to	be	cut	.	so	she	drags	her	benefactor	,	russell	franklin	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	out	to	her	little	floating	laboratory	to	show	him	all	that	she	has	accomplished	.	her	crew	consists	of	a	shark	expert	(	thomas	jane	)	,	a	cook	(	l	.	l	.	cool	j	)	,	two	scientists	(	jacqueline	mckenzie	,	stellan	skarsgard	)	,	and	the	brainy	,	though	irritating	,	computer	expert	(	michael	rapaport	)	.	i	think	there	were	a	few	others	,	but	it's	obvious	from	the	start	that	they're	going	to	be	shark	food	.	the	sharks	at	this	lab	are	apparently	smarter	than	the	average	bear	,	and	as	a	result	they	are	able	to	break	free	of	their	cages	and	wreak	havoc	.	true	to	disaster	movie	formula	,	there	is	a	massive	hurricane	at	this	time	(	darn	the	luck	)	.	the	valiant	(	though	still	incredibly	stupid	)	crew	tries	to	make	it	to	the	surface	before	the	sharks	make	meals	of	them	.	before	i	go	any	further	,	i	must	confess	to	being	afflicted	by	a	massive	fear	of	sharks	.	i	remember	reading	about	carpet	sharks	when	i	was	a	little	kid	,	and	how	they	hid	in	the	sand	,	just	waiting	for	some	unsuspecting	sap	to	swim	nearby	so	they	could	have	a	snack	.	anyway	,	that	fear	has	haunted	me	to	this	day	,	and	"	deep	blue	sea	"	still	didn't	scare	me	in	the	slightest	.	in	this	modern	age	,	with	its	huge	advances	in	computer	technology	,	you'd	think	they	could	have	made	these	sharks	look	mildly	realistic	.	i'm	afraid	not	folks	.	these	look	like	something	out	of	an	old	'50s	movie	,	like	"	the	lost	world	"	(	the	original	,	not	the	equally	horrible	'97	version	)	.	so	i	sat	there	,	watching	these	stupid	people	being	chased	by	incredibly	fake	looking	sharks	,	and	all	that	i	could	think	was	,	please	let	either	the	sharks	or	the	people	die	,	so	this	torture	will	end	.	how	this	pitiful	excuse	for	a	script	managed	to	attract	an	actor	of	samuel	jackson's	caliber	will	forever	be	a	mystery	to	me	.	all	i	can	figure	,	is	he	was	either	simply	bored	out	of	his	mind	,	or	the	producers	drove	up	to	his	house	with	a	truck	full	of	money	(	which	would	explain	why	they	couldn't	afford	decent	special	effects	)	.	with	the	exception	of	ll	cool	j	,	the	remaining	actors	are	unimpressive	,	even	in	roles	which	require	them	to	do	nothing	more	than	run	around	screaming	.	as	for	poor	ll	cool	j	,	he	somehow	manages	to	spark	some	life	into	his	role	as	the	hassled	and	underappreciated	cook	.	the	truth	is	,	i	really	feel	sorry	for	ll	cool	j	.	the	man	is	not	an	untalented	actor	,	yet	he	is	handed	nothing	but	rotten	scripts	(	"	toys	"	,	"	any	given	sunday	"	)	.	i	believe	he	could	do	something	with	a	good	,	comic	script	.	i	don't	know	if	i	can	even	recommend	this	film	to	fans	of	cheesy	"	b	"	horror	movies	,	because	it's	not	at	all	scary	.	however	,	i	would	recommend	it	to	those	of	you	who	want	to	see	how	not	to	use	digital	technology	.	i	suppose	there	are	a	few	humorous	scenes	(	though	i	can't	seem	to	remember	what	they	were	)	,	and	several	unintentionally	hilarious	ones	(	the	massive	sharks	fitting	through	tiny	little	doors	is	a	good	example	)	.	"	deep	blue	sea	"	runs	an	excruciatingly	long	104	minutes	,	during	which	you'll	either	fall	asleep	,	or	be	too	awe	struck	at	the	stupidity	of	this	film	to	do	so	.	stay	far	,	far	away	from	this	one	or	studios	might	think	there	is	money	to	be	made	in	creating	more	films	like	it	.	i	grant	it	a	sadly	generous	one	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
neg	die	hard	2	is	an	altogether	unfortunate	fiasco	,	inferior	to	the	original	in	every	respect	.	place	the	blame	squarely	on	the	shoulders	of	steven	de	souza	and	doug	richardson	,	who	wrote	the	film's	pathetic	screenplay	.	every	line	of	dialogue	reeks	of	either	smarmy	sap	or	forced	humor	.	the	plot	is	altogether	implausible	;	the	convoluted	story	line	involves	a	band	of	terrorists	who	take	over	dulles	airport	and	shut	down	the	control	tower	,	leaving	a	dozen	planes	stranded	in	the	air	waiting	to	land	.	the	film	has	zero	credibility	,	and	all	of	the	characters	come	off	as	cliched	,	cardboard	cut	outs	.	so	much	for	the	script	.	how	about	the	action	?	well	,	let's	put	it	this	way	:	director	renny	harlin	could	learn	a	few	things	from	john	mctiernan	,	who	directed	the	original	,	as	well	as	the	hunt	for	red	october	and	predator	all	standouts	for	their	hair	raising	suspense	.	by	contrast	,	harlin	doesn't	have	a	clue	when	it	comes	to	choreographing	action	,	and	consequently	,	die	hard	2	never	picks	up	steam	.	die	harder	is	impossible	to	take	seriously	even	for	a	minute	.	in	fact	,	the	movie	often	seems	deliberately	campy	,	and	it	almost	reaches	the	threshold	of	being	so	bad	it's	good	.	you	do	laugh	,	but	you	laugh	at	the	film	,	not	with	it	.	die	hard	2	should	have	never	been	cleared	for	takeoff	.
neg	directed	by	michael	bay	.	screenplay	by	randall	wallace	.	starring	ben	affleck	,	josh	hartnett	,	kate	beckinsale	.	running	time	:	183	minutes	.	rated	aa	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	august	27th	,	2001	.	synopsis	:	lifelong	friends	rafe	(	affleck	)	and	danny	(	hartnett	)	join	the	us	air	force	and	are	stationed	at	pearl	harbor	,	hawaii	.	rafe	goes	to	england	to	fight	alongside	british	pilots	and	is	seemingly	killed	in	action	.	danny	falls	in	love	with	rafe's	girlfriend	,	evelyn	(	beckinsale	)	,	but	rafe	survives	and	returns	to	confront	his	former	friend	.	meanwhile	,	the	japanese	sneak	attack	is	imminent	.	.	.	review	:	"	pearl	harbor	"	is	a	perfect	example	of	movies	as	product	rather	than	as	art	.	it	is	little	more	than	a	crassly	calculated	attempt	to	woo	the	masses	,	enticing	them	with	big	stars	,	big	effects	,	and	a	big	setting	but	no	heart	.	it	is	difficult	to	criticise	the	actors	,	because	they	do	everything	the	movie	demands	of	them	.	sadly	,	this	amounts	to	barely	more	than	reciting	dialogue	of	such	sheer	banality	that	it	makes	one	eager	to	see	the	script	randall	wallace	wrote	with	his	right	hand	at	the	same	time	as	he	was	writing	"	pearl	harbor	"	with	his	left	.	the	plot	here	is	pure	cliche	,	and	the	wartime	setting	simply	a	convenient	backdrop	.	there	is	no	genuine	exploration	of	what	pearl	harbor	meant	to	the	united	states	,	and	no	insight	into	its	vital	role	in	inciting	that	country	to	join	world	war	ii	.	instead	,	there	is	just	an	assembly	line	love	triangle	,	some	empty	patriotic	rhetoric	,	and	a	laughable	attempt	to	placate	japanese	viewers	via	the	inclusion	of	some	reticent	imperial	commanders	(	when	one	intones	,	"	i	fear	all	we	have	done	is	to	awaken	a	sleeping	giant	"	,	i	nearly	fell	out	of	my	seat	)	.	to	the	movie's	credit	,	it	does	include	a	fantastic	portrayal	of	the	attack	itself	,	an	exciting	and	dizzying	hour	which	plunges	viewers	into	the	war	.	if	only	the	remaining	two	hours	had	been	crafted	with	such	skill	,	perhaps	this	memorial	day	non	event	would	have	been	worth	watching	.	copyright	2001	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	a	shannon	patrick	sullivan	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	go	.	to	drwho	history	__	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	but	some	of	us	are	looking	at	the	stars	__
neg	like	the	recent	chinese	box	,	most	of	the	action	in	knock	off	takes	place	against	the	background	of	the	hand	over	of	hong	kong	to	china	after	a	century	of	british	rule	.	however	,	the	lack	of	immediacy	here	doesn't	seem	to	matter	too	much	with	this	tired	,	unconvincing	and	rudimentary	plot	.	rather	than	a	poignant	love	story	set	against	a	backdrop	of	the	clash	between	cultures	,	knock	offis	a	mindless	and	unconvincing	b	grade	spy	thriller	that	offers	fading	action	star	jean	claude	van	damme	one	final	opportunity	to	salvage	his	career	from	the	scrap	heap	.	van	damme's	status	as	an	action	hero	reached	its	pinnacle	with	time	copand	the	die	hardclone	sudden	death	.	since	then	it's	been	largely	downhill	,	with	a	series	of	increasingly	dull	,	mindless	and	gratuitously	violent	action	films	.	the	muscles	from	brussels	has	placed	his	career	in	the	hands	of	a	number	of	influential	hong	kong	action	directors	(	john	woo	,	ringo	lam	,	and	tsui	hark	,	but	they	have	been	unable	to	reverse	his	declining	box	office	fortunes	.	in	knock	off	,	van	damme	plays	marcus	ray	,	an	exporter	and	wholesaler	for	an	american	jeans	company	,	based	in	hong	kong	.	he	and	his	partner	tommy	(	rob	schneider	,	from	judge	dredd	,	etc	)	accidentally	find	themselves	mixed	up	in	a	terrorist	scheme	to	smuggle	small	but	very	lethal	bombs	into	the	us	.	sinister	forces	are	planting	the	bombs	,	which	burst	into	green	flame	,	inside	toys	,	clothes	and	other	consumer	goods	and	shipping	them	to	america	.	ray	finds	himself	up	against	the	cia	,	the	triads	and	the	hong	kong	police	as	he	tries	to	unravel	the	complicated	international	plot	.	this	below	par	effort	has	been	written	by	steven	e	de	souza	,	who	has	previously	written	some	of	hollywood's	best	action	thrillers	of	the	past	decade	die	hard	,	and	die	hard	2	,	etc	.	there's	plenty	of	action	scenes	,	but	the	film	is	undermined	by	tsui	hark's	cold	,	clinical	choreography	and	visual	flourishes	.	hark	,	who	previously	directed	our	hero	in	the	ludicrous	double	team	,	brings	his	own	distinctive	style	to	the	film	.	he	uses	close	ups	,	a	constantly	moving	camera	,	and	lots	of	unusual	angles	to	bring	an	illusion	of	kinetic	energy	to	the	material	.	unfortunately	,	his	unnecessarily	flamboyant	visual	style	somehow	removes	any	genuine	sense	of	excitement	and	suspense	.	van	damme's	performance	is	more	wooden	and	unconvincing	than	ever	,	and	he	seems	uncomfortable	with	the	more	comic	elements	of	the	script	.	even	schneider's	desperate	attempts	to	breathe	some	humour	into	proceedings	with	a	series	of	throw	away	one	liners	fall	flat	.	knock	offis	a	disappointing	and	muddled	actioner	that	marks	a	new	low	in	van	damme's	declining	career	.	at	this	rate	,	van	damme	will	join	the	ranks	of	those	other	faded	action	stars	whose	films	now	regularly	disappear	straight	on	to	video	(	dolph	lundgren	,	rutger	hauer	,	etc	)	.
neg	cast	:	john	travolta	,	barry	pepper	,	forest	whitaker	,	kim	coates	,	richard	tyson	,	kelly	preston	written	by	:	corey	mandell	directed	by	:	roger	christian	running	time	:	117	minutes	battlefield	earth	is	the	worst	film	of	2000	,	and	i	guarantee	you	that	nothing	else	this	year	will	even	come	close	.	in	fact	,	i'll	be	surprised	if	i	see	anything	this	bad	in	the	next	ten	years	.	based	on	the	novel	by	scientology	guru	l	.	ron	hubbard	,	battlefield	earth	begins	and	we	immediately	find	out	two	pieces	of	key	information	.	it's	the	year	3000	,	and	an	alien	race	called	the	psychlos	(	which	sounds	like	a	tag	team	of	mexican	wrestlers	)	conquered	our	planet	in	nine	minutes	.	ok	,	we	are	all	of	10	seconds	in	and	i	have	a	zillion	questions	racing	through	my	mind	.	when	were	we	conquered	?	the	audience	is	led	to	believe	that	this	happened	about	1	,	000	years	earlier	,	and	if	that	is	the	case	then	we're	going	to	get	into	a	whole	bunch	of	problems	later	(	trust	me	.	.	.	keep	reading	)	.	also	,	why	don't	we	get	to	see	earth	get	conquered	?	how	the	hell	do	you	make	a	popcorn	sci	fi	flick	and	not	deliver	the	goods	on	the	one	event	that	sets	up	the	film	?	humans	now	live	as	cavemen	or	slave	labor	,	and	for	the	film's	first	act	we	focus	on	one	particular	cavemen	group	outside	of	denver	,	colorado	.	they	grunt	and	groan	and	babble	about	monsters	.	so	,	when	the	psychlos	conquered	earth	,	were	the	only	humans	not	captured	a	herd	of	newborn	babies	that	crawled	their	way	to	safety	in	the	hills	?	none	of	these	characters	have	any	knowledge	of	the	planet	being	conquered	(	whenever	that	was	)	.	this	is	definitely	not	the	way	to	start	an	action	sci	fi	film	.	one	of	the	humans	wanders	out	into	the	wilderness	and	stumbles	across	what	he	thinks	is	a	monster	,	and	he	begins	to	fight	it	.	the	"	monster	"	turns	out	to	be	a	dinosaur	from	an	old	miniature	golf	course	.	he	turns	around	and	sees	all	sorts	of	other	characters	from	the	golf	course	,	with	some	shrubs	growing	over	them	.	so	,	in	1	,	000	years	this	stupid	little	golf	course	has	stood	the	test	of	time	,	with	only	a	few	weeds	growing	over	it	?	anyway	,	some	of	the	humans	are	captured	by	the	psychlos	led	by	terl	(	john	travolta	)	a	smarmy	and	opportunistic	alien	planning	on	stealing	a	recently	discovered	gold	deposit	.	the	cavemen	(	led	by	barry	pepper	)	are	forced	to	do	their	bidding	or	whatever	,	but	eventually	they	gain	the	upper	hand	and	reclaim	the	planet	,	or	something	.	so	these	cavemen	are	able	to	do	what	earth	failed	to	do	1	,	000	years	earlier	?	and	,	we're	supposed	to	believe	that	earth	was	conquered	in	nine	minutes	by	a	group	of	buffoonish	aliens	who	can't	even	handle	a	few	cavemen	?	one	of	the	ways	the	humans	reclaim	the	planet	is	by	taking	control	of	abandoned	air	force	jets	and	using	them	to	fight	the	psychlos	.	so	jets	left	unattended	for	1	,	000	years	are	still	able	to	fly	?	please	,	if	i	leave	my	car	unattended	for	two	weeks	i	have	to	replace	every	fluid	and	hose	under	the	hood	.	why	did	the	psychlos	leave	jets	around	anyway	?	shouldn't	they	have	destroyed	military	installations	during	their	massive	nine	minute	campaign	against	us	?	the	psychlos	refer	to	humans	as	"	man	animals	"	but	yet	dogs	are	still	"	dogs	"	.	why	aren't	they	"	dog	animals	"	?	the	psychlos	are	after	mining	earth's	precious	resources	,	but	for	1	,	000	years	are	unaware	of	fort	knox	?	why	do	i	even	care	at	this	point	?	i'm	a	fan	of	travolta's	and	i'm	glad	to	see	he's	back	on	the	a	list	in	hollywood	(	despite	the	fact	that	he	occasionally	puts	out	crowd	pleasing	dreck	like	michael	and	phenomenon	)	.	but	how	did	he	possibly	think	this	was	a	good	movie	?	and	how	did	he	think	he	was	giving	a	good	performance	here	?	he's	more	than	capable	of	making	a	menacing	villain	(	see	broken	arrow	and	face	off	)	but	whenever	his	character	came	on	screen	i	couldn't	hold	back	my	laughter	.	now	despite	the	different	facial	features	members	of	this	alien	race	seem	to	have	,	travolta	just	looks	like	travolta	.	all	of	the	other	aliens	have	weird	foreheads	or	other	pointy	bones	on	their	face	,	but	travolta	just	has	a	goatee	.	also	,	travolta's	acts	with	a	sort	of	phony	upper	class	snooty	accent	and	constantly	whines	about	bureaucratic	nonsense	back	on	his	home	world	.	ooooo	,	scary	villain	.	as	a	producer	he	should	know	better	and	as	an	actor	he	should	definitely	know	better	.	you	can	make	a	dumb	but	good	sci	fi	film	(	i	love	independence	day	for	example	)	,	but	there	is	absolutely	nothing	entertaining	about	battlefield	earth	.	i	did	everything	i	possibly	could	to	stay	awake	during	the	screening	.	.	.	i	cleaned	my	glasses	,	walked	around	the	theater	,	made	a	grocery	list	,	chose	my	lottery	numbers	for	the	week	,	replayed	super	bowl	xxv	in	my	head	(	with	commercials	)	.	.	.	and	still	was	compelled	to	scrutinize	the	insides	of	my	eyelids	.	by	the	time	we	actually	reach	the	year	3000	,	people	should	still	be	avoiding	this	film	.	folks	,	save	your	cash	.	.	don't	go	see	it	,	don't	rent	it	,	and	don't	buy	it	.	you'd	be	more	entertained	by	taking	the	money	you'd	use	for	this	movie	and	just	throwing	it	into	the	wind	,	watching	it	sail	away	(	hell	,	send	it	to	us	here	at	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	.	.	we'll	entertain	you	plenty	with	that	kind	of	money	)	.	unless	of	course	you're	just	captivated	by	countless	slow	motion	shots	of	barry	pepper	running	,	which	is	just	about	all	you'll	come	away	with	from	this	movie	.	that	,	and	a	headache	.	editor's	note	:	for	some	reason	though	,	the	day	after	my	screening	i	converted	to	scientology	.	i'm	not	sure	why	.	.	.	something	just	made	me	feel	compelled	make	the	choice	.	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	cast	:	scott	bakula	,	corbin	bernsen	,	dennis	haysbert	,	ted	mcginley	,	walt	goggins	,	eric	bruskotter	,	thom	barry	,	takaaki	ishibashi	,	jensen	daggett	,	bob	uecker	director	:	john	warren	producer	:	james	g	.	robinson	screenplay	:	john	warren	cinematography	:	tim	surhstedt	music	:	robert	folk	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	warner	brothers	from	a	major	league	baseball	radio	broadcast	,	featuring	play	by	play	man	harry	canary	and	color	man	whitey	hashbrown	,	with	special	guest	commentator	james	berardinelli	.	hc	:	as	we	go	to	the	top	of	the	8th	,	we're	joined	in	the	booth	by	film	critic	james	berardinelli	,	who's	here	fresh	from	seeing	the	new	baseball	movie	,	major	league	:	back	to	the	minors	,	the	third	in	the	popular	saga	taking	a	lighter	look	at	the	majors	.	nice	to	see	you	,	jim	.	as	a	big	baseball	fan	and	a	movie	reviewer	,	can	you	give	us	the	scoop	on	the	new	flick	?	jb	:	my	opinion	:	the	producers	should	have	stopped	while	they	were	ahead	,	and	that	was	nine	years	ago	.	one	entry	was	definitely	enough	,	and	i'm	surprised	there	was	a	third	after	the	anemic	showing	and	low	quality	of	major	league	2	.	this	latest	installment	has	all	the	earmarks	of	something	that	should	have	been	released	direct	to	video	.	it's	worse	than	a	mediocre	made	for	tv	feature	.	i	should	also	mention	that	this	movie	likely	won't	play	all	that	well	in	cleveland	.	now	that	the	real	indians	are	perennial	contenders	,	they	have	been	replaced	by	the	minnesota	twins	as	the	cinematic	sadsacks	.	actually	,	most	of	the	action	involves	the	twins'	aaa	minor	league	club	,	the	buzz	,	rather	than	the	actual	major	league	franchise	.	hc	:	sorry	to	interrupt	,	jim	,	but	we	still	have	to	do	play	by	play	for	the	game	on	the	field	.	leading	off	this	inning	is	john	warren	.	he	steps	into	the	batter's	box	and	takes	kent's	pitch	low	for	ball	one	.	wh	:	so	,	the	story's	strictly	minor	league	,	right	?	what's	it	about	?	jb	:	scott	bakula	,	the	guy	from	quantum	leap	,	plays	career	minor	league	pitcher	gus	cantrell	.	when	twins	owner	roger	dorn	,	once	again	portrayed	by	corbin	bernsen	,	needs	a	new	manager	for	his	aaa	team	,	he	offers	the	job	to	gus	,	who	is	now	faced	with	two	daunting	tasks	:	turn	the	team	around	and	groom	hot	prospect	downtown	anderson	(	played	by	walt	goggins	)	for	a	promotion	to	"	the	show	.	"	with	the	help	of	former	major	leaguers	pedro	cerrano	(	dennis	haysbert	)	,	rube	baker	(	eric	bruskotter	)	,	and	isuro	tanaka	(	takaaki	ishibashi	)	,	gus	gets	the	buzz	on	the	right	track	.	in	fact	,	he	is	so	successful	that	he	earns	the	enmity	of	the	jealous	manager	of	the	big	league	club	,	leonard	huff	(	played	with	over	the	top	relish	by	ted	mcginley	)	.	soon	,	dorn	has	arranged	an	exhibition	game	that	pits	gus'	overachieving	group	against	huff's	overpaid	,	last	place	bunch	.
neg	retrospective	:	city	of	the	living	dead	(	1980	)	i	once	heard	someone	describe	the	films	of	italian	schlock	horror	director	lucio	fulci	as	"	dim	witted	"	.	and	by	golly	,	just	about	all	other	words	fail	me	when	confronted	with	a	dog	like	city	of	the	living	dead	.	although	the	late	fulci	managed	some	rather	good	thrillers	in	his	career	,	this	is	not	one	of	them	.	two	points	in	the	movie's	favour	the	impressive	camerawork	of	sergio	salvati	and	occasionally	evocative	score	by	fabio	frizzi	keep	things	from	falling	totally	into	the	abyss	,	but	by	and	large	city	of	the	living	dead	is	a	failure	.	and	like	most	cinematic	failures	,	it	comes	down	to	bad	writing	,	dumb	performances	and	lousy	direction	.	the	story	starts	in	new	york	when	,	during	a	seance	,	a	medium	(	katherine	mccoll	)	sees	a	vision	of	a	priest	hanging	himself	in	the	town	of	dunwich	,	massachusetts	.	for	reasons	we	won't	go	into	here	,	this	opens	the	gates	of	hell	which	must	be	closed	by	all	saints	day	or	the	dead	will	rise	and	walk	the	earth	.	the	medium	apparently	dies	of	fright	during	the	seance	,	but	awakens	in	her	coffin	in	the	graveyard	the	next	day	and	is	rescued	by	a	crusty	old	journalist	(	christopher	george	)	.	that	scene	in	itself	is	a	howler	:	why	would	you	bust	open	a	coffin	with	a	large	pick	axe	when	you	know	someone	is	alive	inside	?	and	don't	cadavers	have	various	things	stuffed	in	them	and	drained	out	of	them	before	they're	buried	?	anyway	,	off	the	two	of	them	go	to	dunwich	to	save	the	world	,	where	various	grisly	goings	on	are	already	happening	as	all	saints	day	approaches	.	fulci's	graphic	gore	is	in	evidence	once	again	,	but	here	it	only	serves	to	further	highlight	the	film's	flimsy	script	and	plodding	direction	.	the	dialogue	,	in	all	manner	of	speaking	,	is	unspeakable	.	not	bad	in	the	quotable	sense	,	like	an	ed	wood	film	,	but	bad	in	its	sheer	dullness	or	blatantly	obvious	"	lets	explain	the	plot	"	type	approach	.	mccoll	doesn't	have	a	clue	who	her	character	is	:	deadly	serious	one	minute	,	frivolous	the	next	,	she	at	times	is	genuinely	hard	to	watch	.	and	the	geezer	(	the	actor's	name	escapes	me	)	who	plays	the	town	psychiatrist	becomes	even	harder	to	stomach	than	mccoll	as	the	film	progresses	.	christopher	george's	performance	is	salvageable	,	but	he	gets	his	brains	ripped	out	in	the	end	by	a	zombie	and	we	don't	care	.	in	fact	we	don't	care	for	anyone	in	city	of	the	living	dead	,	though	in	other	fulci	films	that	hasn't	mattered	so	much	when	he	was	on	form	as	a	stylist	and	an	ideas	man	,	as	he	was	in	the	beyond	.	as	a	director	,	some	of	fulci'	idiosyncrasies	are	incredibly	silly	and	annoying	here	.	he	constantly	uses	extreme	close	ups	of	people's	eyes	,	a	ridiculous	technique	which	suggests	an	attempt	to	convey	the	emotion	that	his	dialogue	and	actors	aren't	capable	of	.	and	despite	some	gruesome	violence	,	he	barely	manages	a	single	scare	in	the	entire	film	.	long	time	collaborator	fabio	frizzi	,	talented	but	always	erratic	,	offers	a	patchy	soundtrack	that	veers	between	eerie	,	gothic	death	marches	and	woefully	inappropriate	electro	pop	that's	quite	frankly	embarrassing	.	fulci's	other	films	of	this	period	may	be	flawed	house	by	the	cemetery	,	the	beyond	,	the	black	cat	but	they	are	nonetheless	films	with	more	inspiration	,	atmosphere	and	better	dialogue	than	this	turkey	.	for	completists	only	.
neg	lucas	was	wise	to	start	his	star	wars	trilogy	with	episode	4	:	episode	1	is	a	boring	,	empty	spectacle	that	features	some	nice	special	effects	.	after	the	familiar	'a	long	time	ago	.	.	.	.	'	opening	,	the	film	starts	with	the	opening	yellow	crawl	that	features	in	every	star	wars	movie	and	computer	game	.	the	plot	is	that	the	trade	confederation	are	blocking	off	supplies	to	the	peaceful	planet	of	naboo	,	ruled	by	queen	amidala	(	portman	)	jedi	knights	qui	gon	(	neeson	)	and	obi	wan	(	mcgregor	)	are	sent	to	negotiate	a	deal	with	the	confederation	to	stop	the	blockade	.	however	,	this	simple	blockade	is	not	all	it	seems	,	and	the	jedi	knights	soon	have	to	deal	with	many	more	dangers	,	including	facing	the	evil	darth	maul	(	ray	park	.	)	they	also	meet	the	future	darth	vadar	,	anakin	skywalker	(	jake	lloyd	)	star	wars	is	largely	a	failure	in	all	the	major	areas	of	filmmaking	:	script	,	direction	and	characters	.	the	script	desperately	tries	to	make	an	thin	and	boring	story	into	a	two	hour	epic	.	the	trade	confederation	plot	is	just	not	as	exciting	as	the	death	star	,	and	as	the	film	goes	on	the	drama	becomes	more	and	more	non	existent	.	there's	no	underlying	tension	,	and	no	urgent	need	to	see	what	the	outcome	is	.	the	film	also	takes	a	leisurely	pace	in	telling	the	boring	story	,	which	doesn't	help	.	there's	no	snap	to	make	the	film	work	,	it	moves	at	a	plod	.	the	script	is	boring	:	all	the	characters	speak	in	morals	,	especially	anakins	mother	.	there's	no	group	spirit	evident	here	,	and	when	all	characters	can	speak	only	in	profound	statements	or	bark	orders	,	it's	evident	that	not	much	is	going	to	happen	.	the	two	leads	are	hideously	boring	,	static	characters	given	little	to	do	and	too	much	time	to	do	it	.	qui	gon	and	obi	wan	hold	no	presence	on	film	,	and	give	little	for	the	audience	to	root	for	.	the	audience	will	probably	warm	more	to	bad	guy	darth	maul	,	if	he	had	been	given	more	screen	time	.	maul	is	one	of	the	most	underused	bad	guys	in	film	history	,	even	if	he	does	provide	the	only	'straight'	plot	line	in	the	film	(	all	the	other	plots	in	this	film	are	to	be	concluded	throughout	the	trilogy	.	)	anakin	is	annoying	and	unlikeable	.	,	instead	of	cute	and	huggable	as	lucas	no	doubt	intended	.	it's	probably	not	surprising	that	his	hateful	little	boy	,	unfortunately	blessed	'ani'	by	everyone	he	knows	,	joins	the	dark	side	and	kills	everyone	as	quickly	as	possible	.	the	comedy	relief	is	supposedly	provided	by	the	gangly	jar	jar	brinks	,	although	in	the	end	none	is	provided	in	the	film	by	him	.	although	his	floppy	features	will	no	doubt	be	great	for	stuffed	toys	,	the	lines	and	actions	he	is	given	are	painfully	unfunny	.	the	only	good	laugh	is	when	his	tongue	is	burned	by	a	'pod'	racer	,	because	i	knew	he	wouldn't	be	able	to	talk	for	a	while	.	queen	amidala	is	a	nothing	in	the	film	,	she	serves	no	real	purpose	apart	from	the	fact	that	she	must	'serve	her	people	,	'	and	go	goo	goo	over	anakin	.	again	,	her	role	will	become	more	important	in	the	later	episodes	,	and	is	given	little	to	do	here	.	the	actors	don't	help	the	movie	much	either	.	liam	neeson	seems	bored	and	embarrassed	,	and	seems	desperate	to	leave	the	movie	as	quickly	as	possible	.	mcgregor	comes	across	as	a	posh	mothers	boy	,	with	little	charm	.	the	casting	director	must	have	chose	him	because	he's	scottish	like	alec	guinness	:	there's	little	other	explanation	for	it	.	natalie	portman	is	plagued	by	hideous	costumes	and	a	poor	script	,	but	she	delivers	a	spunky	performance	.	and	jake	lloyd	looks	at	everyone	with	hateful	eyes	and	delivers	his	lines	in	a	bored	voice	.	there's	very	little	talent	evident	with	him	,	it's	hard	to	see	why	lucas	chose	him	when	there	are	better	child	actors	out	there	.	he's	not	even	very	'cute	.	'	the	main	claim	of	the	film	,	the	special	effects	,	are	okay	.	there's	nothing	impressive	about	them	,	yet	they	complement	the	story	well	.	the	cgi	takes	away	much	of	the	human	element	,	however	.	the	battle	droids	for	example	,	the	replacement	for	the	stormtroopers	,	are	characterless	little	computer	graphics	,	lacking	the	humour	and	humanness	that	came	from	the	stormtroopers	.	episode	1	is	just	disappointing	.	it's	got	high	production	values	,	but	little	else	.	the	music	is	meandering	,	except	near	the	end	.	the	plot	gives	us	no	one	to	root	for	,	or	even	care	for	.	the	effects	are	nice	,	but	dull	.	the	plot	goes	on	for	half	an	hour	longer	than	it	should	.	there's	an	air	of	manufacturing	among	the	whole	sorry	affair	,	and	many	clichs	are	catered	for	throughout	the	film	.	apart	from	a	remotely	exciting	pod	race	sequence	,	episode	1	is	a	dry	affair	that	serves	little	purpose	,	except	to	make	money	and	to	get	us	to	watch	episode	2	to	see	what	happens	to	the	many	unfinished	plot	lines	in	the	film	.	disappointing	is	barely	the	word	.	rating	out	of
neg	battlefield	long	,	boring	and	just	plain	stupidin	my	mid	teen	years	,	i	had	a	horrendous	re	occurring	nightmare	.	behind	the	wheel	of	a	car	,	i	was	driving	down	a	straight	road	in	the	middle	of	a	desert	.	no	scenery	except	the	horizon	line	and	the	converging	parallel	lines	of	the	highway	.	no	matter	what	i	did	,	the	view	didn't	change	:	travelling	but	not	getting	anywhere	.	each	time	i	awoke	in	a	sweat	,	terrified	.	you	don't	have	to	be	carl	jung	to	understand	that	dream	.	powerless	to	make	changes	,	trapped	in	a	boring	situation	with	no	hope	of	rescue	,	this	is	the	stuff	of	nightmares	whether	we	are	asleep	or	awake	.	this	is	exactly	how	you	will	feel	15	minutes	after	"	battlefield	earth	"	begins	.	for	all	of	its	flash	and	style	,	l	.	ron	hubbard's	science	fiction	epic	is	the	earliest	and	best	entry	for	the	dullest	summer	film	of	2000	.	dull	"	and	"	stupid	.	in	the	year	3000	,	the	psychlo	aliens	have	ruled	our	planet	for	1	,	000	years	.	humans	either	work	as	slave	labor	in	mining	operations	or	live	as	barbarians	.	there's	no	hope	.	the	future	is	bleak	.	then	the	psychlo	make	a	mistake	and	capture	feisty	jonnie	goodboy	tyler	(	barry	pepper	)	who	organizes	a	revolution	against	chief	of	security	terl	(	john	travolta	)	and	the	alien	race	.	it's	an	archetypal	post	apocalyptic	plot	full	of	promise	.	considering	some	of	the	talent	involved	and	all	the	millions	thrown	at	the	screen	,	it's	difficult	to	see	how	it	could	have	failed	so	miserably	.	but	it	does	.	the	story	is	so	full	of	holes	that	it	falls	apart	within	minutes	of	the	opening	credits	.	are	we	really	supposed	to	believe	that	after	a	millennium	of	looking	for	gold	,	the	psychlo	never	discovered	fort	knox	?	or	that	fighter	planes	are	still	in	pristine	condition	after	all	that	time	and	gassed	up	?	or	that	the	cavemen	become	such	expert	pilots	in	seven	days	that	they	can	easily	down	the	advanced	alien	ships	?	or	that	the	psychlo	spy	cameras	somehow	don't	notice	that	their	slaves	are	missing	for	days	?	travolta	prances	across	the	screen	hamming	it	up	for	all	he's	worth	and	is	almost	entertaining	.	almost	.	the	rest	of	the	actors	are	wooden	mannequins	trying	not	to	laugh	while	delivering	lines	that	no	person	"	man	animal	"	or	not	would	ever	utter	.	some	of	the	film	_	looks	_	good	,	but	it	also	looks	so	familiar	.	a	race	of	large	hulking	ape	like	creatures	has	taken	over	the	world	while	our	cities	lie	in	ruin	.	sound	like	something	charlton	heston	might	be	in	?	the	psychlo	look	like	overweight	klingons	in	gear	from	"	dune	"	.	the	final	air	battle	between	the	air	force	fighters	and	the	psychlo	ships	in	their	high	tech	city	is	something	george	lucas	might	have	been	associated	with	.	it's	too	loud	.	it's	too	oppressive	.	it's	too	slow	.	it's	too	long	.	.	.	far	too	long	.	and	on	it	goes	.	the	list	of	the	problems	with	"	battlefield	earth	"	is	endless	.	it's	difficult	to	find	anything	in	the	film	that	does	work	.
neg	come	on	hollywood	,	surprise	me	.	stop	giving	us	these	poorly	written	thrillers	with	banal	dialogue	,	sketchy	characters	and	plots	as	predictable	as	the	sunset	.	the	always	watchable	morgan	freeman	plays	a	detective	who	becomes	personally	involved	in	a	case	involving	missing	girls	.	personal	,	because	his	niece	is	one	of	the	victims	.	it's	a	slobbering	psychopath	,	of	course	,	but	this	time	there's	a	twist	.	freeman	notes	that	each	of	the	young	women	who've	disappeared	are	all	strong	willed	,	assertive	,	and	more	successful	in	their	careers	than	the	average	girl	.	we	soon	learn	that	the	guy	calls	himself	casanova	,	whose	aim	is	to	"	dominate	"	these	modern	gals	by	imprisoning	them	in	some	dungeon	and	keeping	them	as	his	personal	harem	.	anyway	,	one	of	the	women	manages	to	escape	(	ashly	judd	)	and	teams	up	with	freeman	to	.	.	.	well	,	you	know	the	rest	.	a	brief	glance	at	the	plot	to	silence	of	the	lambs	,	with	which	this	film	is	constantly	being	compared	to	by	the	hype	merchants	,	may	suggest	lambs	also	has	a	fairly	predictable	story	.	perhaps	,	but	that	film	also	has	superbly	drawn	characters	and	smart	dialogue	.	so	lets	not	insult	a	great	movie	by	taking	the	comparisons	any	further	,	okay	?	and	as	for	comparisons	to	seven	.	.	.	oh	please	!	kiss	the	girls	is	based	on	the	novel	by	james	patterson	and	written	for	the	screen	by	one	david	klass	.	maybe	the	novel	was	a	stinker	to	start	with	,	but	whatever	the	case	,	it's	the	writing	that's	clearly	at	fault	here	.	one	,	these	characters	have	very	little	to	say	that's	engaging	or	interesting	.	two	,	the	script	has	no	sense	of	humour	.	three	,	while	the	notion	of	a	psycho's	victims	being	smart	,	successful	women	is	an	interesting	twist	,	the	execution	isn't	even	half	as	good	as	the	idea	.	thus	,	ashly	judd	comes	across	all	out	of	focus	,	instead	of	being	the	heart	of	the	story	.	we	can't	feel	her	rage	.	some	atrociously	written	casual	exchanges	between	her	and	several	male	characters	are	supposed	to	remind	us	that	she's	the	no	bullshit	90's	type	,	but	these	conversations	barely	register	.	and	as	for	freeman	,	kiss	the	girls	is	his	second	dog	in	a	year	:	first	chain	reaction	,	now	this	.	for	an	actor	of	his	calibre	,	this	is	most	worrying	.	young	director	gary	fleder	scored	a	hit	a	few	years	back	with	his	quirky	pulp	fiction	esque	things	to	do	in	denver	when	your	dead	.	but	what	can	he	do	with	material	as	resolutely	mediocre	as	this	?	not	much	,	and	you	can	hardly	blame	him	.	there's	a	few	well	staged	chase	scenes	through	the	forest	where	the	camera	whirls	,	dives	and	jumps	,	and	the	effect	is	startling	.	but	the	script	is	beyond	rescue	.	what	hurts	most	is	that	hollywood	continues	to	get	away	with	serving	up	this	tripe	,	safe	in	the	knowledge	that	jaded	audiences	will	lap	it	up	.	complacency	rules	:	it's	been	so	long	since	we	saw	a	mainstream	american	thriller	that	delivered	juicy	characters	,	real	surprises	and	consistently	sharp	dialogue	.	the	only	consolation	for	this	viewer	is	that	my	ticket	to	the	movie	was	a	freebie	,	positive	proof	that	the	best	things	in	life	aren't	free	.	.	.	.	.
neg	capsule	:	tired	and	thin	attempt	at	genre	mixing	:	aliens	are	among	us	meets	crime	story	.	cliches	abound	.	alien	nation	starts	with	one	great	idea	and	then	drowns	it	in	an	ocean	of	stupidity	.	it	starts	off	with	a	none	too	thinly	disguised	allegory	about	literally	legal	and	illegal	aliens	.	a	spaceship	comes	to	earth	,	holding	100	,	000	roughly	humanoid	aliens	who	have	been	created	by	some	other	species	for	hard	labor	.	they're	intelligent	and	gifted	,	and	they	slowly	get	absorbed	into	amercan	society	(	i'm	assuming	american	society	,	but	the	movie	focuses	on	socal	)	.	all	of	this	has	great	promise	,	and	the	first	five	minutes	of	the	movie	hum	with	untapped	possibilites	.	then	the	plot	got	under	way	,	and	my	hopes	died	.	why	does	this	happen	,	almost	without	fail	?	i've	seen	countless	movies	that	have	the	germ	of	a	good	idea	but	not	a	whit	of	how	to	deploy	it	properly	,	and	i'm	sad	to	include	alien	nation	on	that	list	.	it's	not	a	cheap	movie	;	it	was	financed	by	gale	anne	hurd	,	who	put	her	money	into	aliens	and	a	number	of	other	movies	of	similar	ilk	.	just	that	somewhere	along	the	line	there	was	a	terrible	failure	of	imagination	,	and	the	whole	thing	turned	into	a	tv	cop	show	.	the	plot	features	a	cop	james	caan	and	his	new	alien	partner	(	mandy	patinkin	)	.	caan	lost	his	last	partner	to	an	alien	grocery	store	robber	,	so	of	course	he's	hesitant	.	eventually	,	he	chokes	back	his	revulsion	and	decides	to	use	the	other	man	to	get	revenge	,	sort	of	.	this	involves	getting	close	to	another	alien	,	played	by	terence	stamp	,	who	simply	mixes	and	matches	all	the	typical	movie	drug	lord	cliches	.	once	we	were	into	the	usual	chases	and	shoot	outs	,	i	lost	all	interest	.	there	were	attempts	to	get	it	back	like	having	the	aliens	get	stoned	on	sour	milk	,	or	giving	them	goofy	names	no	thanks	to	immigration	but	none	of	it	elicited	more	than	a	snicker	.	all	the	problems	can	be	traced	to	the	script	.	there's	nothing	wrong	with	the	movie	technically	it	looks	convincing	enough	,	especially	in	the	opening	moments	.	but	no	one	took	a	good	,	hard	look	at	it	and	said	,	this	isn't	enough	.	we've	all	seen	enough	cop	shows	and	drug	lord	revenge	thrillers	.	gussying	yet	another	one	up	in	the	guise	of	sf	doesn't	help	anyone	.	footnote	:	the	strangest	thing	about	alien	nation	is	the	tv	series	that	was	spun	off	from	it	,	where	they	actually	sat	down	and	took	the	time	to	explore	the	ramifications	of	what	they'd	set	up	.	the	show's	well	done	and	worth	watching	.	the	movie	doesn't	have	a	clue	.	this	may	be	the	first	time	the	spinoff	has	more	going	for	it	than	the	source	material	.	a	href	"	mailto	:	hr	syegul	cablehouse	.	dyn	.	ml	.	org	"	hr	syegul	cablehouse	.	dyn	.	ml	.	org	a	efnet	irc	:	ginrei	icq	:	934998	a	href	"	http	:	cablehouse	.	dyn	.	ml	.	org	serdar	"	http	:	cablehouse	.	dyn	.	ml	.	org	serdar	a	another	worldly	device	.	.	.	you	can	crush	me	as	i	speak	write	on	rocks	what	you	feel	now	feel	this	truth	hr
neg	(	warner	bros	.	1997	)	starring	arnold	schwarzenegger	,	george	clooney	,	chris	o'donnell	,	uma	thurman	,	alicia	silverstone	,	michael	gough	screenplay	by	akiva	goldsman	produced	by	peter	macgregor	scott	directed	by	joel	schumacher	running	time	:	130	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	i	had	never	thought	that	an	entry	in	the	modern	incarnation	of	the	batman	feature	film	would	approach	this	level	of	campiness	,	but	in	many	instances	batman	and	robin	nears	,	and	at	some	point	even	exceeds	this	standard	.	this	is	a	disasterously	bad	film	,	easily	the	worst	in	the	series	to	date	,	and	fairly	epitomizes	a	cinematic	definition	of	the	word	excessive	it's	loud	,	garish	,	and	obnoxious	,	with	pointless	,	gratuitous	action	sequences	and	set	pieces	which	clutter	up	the	screen	with	elaborate	production	design	to	the	point	of	overkill	.	batman	and	robin	features	the	caped	crusaders	(	george	clooney	debuting	as	batman	,	with	chris	o'donnell	returing	as	robin	)	squaring	off	against	another	bevy	of	chemically	induced	villains	the	nefarious	ice	cold	mr	.	freeze	(	arnold	schwarzenegger	)	,	armed	with	a	weapon	which	freezes	everything	in	its	sights	,	and	the	slinky	poison	ivy	(	uma	thurman	)	,	who	has	the	ability	to	blow	powerful	love	dust	into	the	faces	of	men	in	order	so	that	they	will	fall	helplessly	in	love	with	her	(	not	that	the	dust	is	really	necessary	to	accomplish	this	result	,	but	whatever	)	,	and	then	dispatch	them	with	a	poisoned	kiss	.	by	ivy's	side	is	the	giant	steroid	monster	bane	(	jeep	swanson	)	,	a	grunting	hulk	of	a	beast	.	the	villains'	goals	are	noble	ones	freeze	steals	diamonds	to	power	his	climate	suit	(	in	order	to	keep	his	body	temperature	at	zero	degrees	)	,	so	that	he	can	survive	in	order	to	devise	a	cure	for	his	beloved	wife	(	vendela	)	,	dying	of	a	degenerative	disease	and	frozen	in	suspended	animation	,	and	ivy's	intent	is	to	restore	the	dominance	of	plant	life	on	earth	,	albeit	by	destroying	all	human	life	.	meanwhile	,	on	the	homefront	,	life	at	wayne	manor	is	thrown	into	upheaval	by	the	illness	of	butler	alfred	pennyworth	(	michael	gough	)	,	and	the	arrival	of	his	niece	barbara	(	alicia	silverstone	)	.	akiva	goldsman's	screenplay	for	the	film	is	ridiculous	and	laughably	bad	,	with	astonishingly	terrible	dialogue	,	lame	jokes	,	and	an	awful	by	the	number	plot	which	simply	coasts	along	and	fails	to	generate	any	genuine	excitement	.	it	makes	goldsman's	screenplay	of	batman	forever	,	which	i	thought	was	dreadful	,	look	positively	inspired	in	comparison	.	i	am	still	astonished	that	a	cheesy	plot	device	which	i'd	seen	used	in	no	joke	an	episode	of	gilligan's	island	somehow	make	its	way	into	a	multimillion	dollar	blockbuster	production	.	joel	schumacher's	direction	of	batman	and	robin	is	horrific	,	with	a	terrible	balance	of	flashiness	over	substance	.	there	is	a	clear	conceit	towards	neon	in	this	film	,	even	moreso	than	with	his	previous	batman	forever	,	with	the	revamped	batcave	helpfully	sporting	gigantic	glowing	emblems	for	the	dynamic	duo	(	just	in	case	,	i	suppose	,	if	they	ever	happen	to	forget	that	the	batcave	is	the	headquarters	of	batman	and	robin	)	,	and	with	neon	prominently	figuring	in	an	utterly	pointless	fight	sequence	with	bane	and	a	street	gang	over	ivy's	chosen	new	abode	.	another	action	sequence	which	fails	to	serve	any	useful	point	other	than	to	chew	up	five	minutes	of	screentime	involves	an	incredibly	uninvolving	late	night	motorcycle	race	with	barbara	and	some	gotham	goons	.	mr	.	schumacher's	focus	for	batman	and	robin	appears	to	be	to	make	the	film	as	visually	striking	as	possible	,	to	the	detriment	of	the	story	there	are	drastic	shifts	in	the	tone	of	the	film	between	all	out	camp	and	heartfelt	drama	,	with	the	latter	completely	unconvincing	and	ineffective	.	it	is	perhaps	not	the	most	promising	of	signs	when	the	group	i	was	with	burst	out	laughing	within	twenty	seconds	of	the	film's	opening	,	even	before	a	single	line	of	dialogue	had	been	uttered	.	is	batman	and	robin	supposed	to	be	campy	?	i	think	it	is	it's	hard	to	imagine	that	the	filmmakers	could	have	intended	many	parts	of	the	film	to	be	taken	at	all	seriously	.	(	one	of	my	favourites	was	when	bane	helpfully	grunted	"	bomb	!	"	each	time	he	laid	down	an	explosive	device	in	the	gotham	observatory	.	)	is	it	supposed	to	be	as	overly	campy	as	it	turned	out	to	be	?	i	somehow	doubt	it	the	subplot	involving	afred	is	delivered	so	solemnly	and	with	such	graveness	that	the	impression	is	made	that	the	film	isn't	attempting	to	be	the	utter	farce	which	it	is	.	arnold	schwarzenegger	is	top	billed	in	the	film	as	the	villainous	mr	.	freeze	,	and	is	bland	and	uninteresting	,	perhaps	the	worst	thing	that	a	villain	can	be	.	mr	.	schwarzenegger's	attempts	to	be	menacing	are	laughable	,	and	his	attempts	at	conveying	pathos	are	laughable	;	frankly	,	everything	he	does	onscreen	is	laughable	.	by	the	end	of	the	film	,	i	was	stifling	a	chuckle	every	time	he	simply	appeared	onscreen	.	the	bulk	of	his	performance	consists	of	uttering	near	unintelligble	puns	and	one	liners	featuring	every	possible	permutation	of	"	cool	!	"	in	the	least	inventive	way	.	george	clooney	has	been	given	very	little	to	do	in	batman	and	robin	,	being	overshadowed	by	the	villains	,	and	consequently	he	looks	rather	uncomfortable	in	the	film	.	his	batman	is	hardly	an	imposing	figure	.	chris	o'donnell	is	unimpressive	in	a	one	note	performance	,	while	alicia	silverstone	lackadasically	fails	to	make	any	impression	at	all	.	the	film's	one	saving	grace	?	undoubtably	uma	thurman's	entertaining	performance	as	sexy	villainess	poison	ivy	.	her	work	in	batman	and	robin	is	certainly	over	the	top	,	but	in	a	controlled	fashion	which	works	splendidly	within	the	tone	of	the	film	.	ms	.	thurman's	comic	timing	is	impeccable	,	and	reminds	us	that	it	takes	skilled	performers	to	make	campiness	work	successfully	.	(	i'm	already	starting	to	positively	reassess	jim	carrey's	performance	in	batman	forever	.	)	her	amusing	poison	ivy	is	the	most	entertaining	character	in	the	film	,	and	when	she's	offscreen	the	film	greatly	suffers	.	i	figure	that	if	one	has	to	die	,	being	kissed	to	death	by	uma	thurman	isn't	a	half	bad	way	to	go	.	while	batman	and	robin	was	hardly	a	ride	of	pulse	pounding	excitement	,	i	must	admit	that	i	was	not	bored	watching	it	,	although	i	did	glance	at	my	watch	repeatedly	through	the	screening	my	attention	was	kept	through	anticipation	of	the	utterance	of	yet	another	terrible	pun	or	one	liner	,	and	by	awaiting	yet	another	scene	to	fall	flat	.	it's	been	a	long	time	since	i've	laughed	so	much	at	a	movie	.	"	at	"	,	of	course	,	is	the	operative	word	.
neg	depending	on	who	you	ask	,	the	original	sin	was	either	the	eating	of	the	apple	,	the	act	of	disobedience	against	god	,	or	the	act	of	betrayal	.	but	in	case	you	didn't	know	this	,	don't	bother	remembering	it	.	.	.	the	words	"	original	sin	"	never	come	up	in	the	movie	of	the	same	name	,	let	alone	the	concept	of	it	.	the	closest	the	film	even	gets	to	catholicism	is	in	its	narrative	(	the	story	is	told	by	angelina	jolie	to	her	priest	while	on	death	row	in	cuba	,	circa	1900	)	.	regardless	of	its	senseless	title	,	original	sin	does	actually	have	a	plot	(	albeit	one	of	the	most	mangled	acts	of	screenwriting	since	the	art	of	war	,	based	on	the	book	waltz	across	darkness	)	.	boy	(	antionio	banderas	)	places	personal	ad	sometime	around	1900	,	searching	for	a	wife	.	since	this	is	a	century	ago	,	we	narrowly	dodge	a	remake	of	green	card	,	only	to	find	that	the	girl	(	jolie	)	faked	her	photo	and	is	actually	beautiful	.	skipping	a	few	moderately	useless	sex	scenes	(	getting	the	question	out	of	the	way	,	yes	,	we	get	to	see	angelina	jolie's	breasts	again	)	,	the	girl	turns	out	to	be	a	con	artist	,	swindles	boy	for	his	money	,	and	heads	for	the	hills	.	original	sin	then	briefly	tries	to	be	a	thriller	.	we	see	boy	go	whore	chasing	,	saying	he	wants	to	find	girl	and	kill	her	.	but	as	soon	as	boy	actually	finds	girl	,	instead	of	following	what	might	have	been	a	promising	(	or	at	least	not	completely	fucking	boring	)	thriller	,	the	film	degenerates	into	the	worst	dissection	of	the	virgin	whore	complex	since	milk	money	.	girl	toys	with	the	idea	of	reforming	her	con	girl	past	,	all	the	while	avoiding	the	"	other	man	,	"	a	lover	that	keeps	making	her	start	these	scams	in	the	first	place	.	add	insult	to	injury	with	some	of	the	worst	stylistic	choices	in	cinematic	history	(	literally	half	of	the	film	is	either	in	slow	motion	or	uses	a	strobe	effect	)	,	and	acting	roughly	the	caliber	of	a	b	.	b	.	gun	,	and	original	sin	is	one	of	the	most	torturous	films	of	the	summer	,	definitely	front	running	to	make	my	bottom	ten	of	the	year	.	don't	even	bother	with	original	sin	,	but	if	you	do	go	,	be	honest	with	yourself	and	admit	its	pure	sex	appeal	.	just	keep	in	mind	that	although	this	film	may	not	be	the	most	original	on	the	block	,	it's	much	worse	than	a	sin	.	this	is	sacrilege	.
neg	michael	dequina	a	href	"	mailto	:	mrbrown	ucla	.	edu	"	mrbrown	ucla	.	edu	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	michael	_	jordan	geocities	.	com	"	michael	_	jordan	geocities	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mj23	the18thhole	.	com	"	mj23	the18thhole	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mrbrown	michaeljordanfan	.	com	"	mrbrown	michaeljordanfan	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mj23	michaeljordanfan	.	com	"	mj23	michaeljordanfan	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mrbrown23	juno	.	com	"	mrbrown23	juno	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mrbrown	iname	.	com	"	mrbrown	iname	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mst3k	digicron	.	com	"	mst3k	digicron	.	com	a	visit	mr	.	brown's	movie	site	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	mrbrown	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	mrbrown	a	personal	page	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	mrbrown	home	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	mrbrown	home	.	html	a	michael	jordan	beyond	the	court	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	colosseum	field	2302	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	colosseum	field	2302	a	a	michael	jordan	fan's	heartbreak	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	mj23	mj	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	mj23	mj	.	html	a
neg	scheduled	to	open	on	december	20th	is	the	comedy	drama	'one	fine	day'	starring	michelle	pfeiffer	and	george	clooney	.	i	had	the	opportunity	to	view	this	movie	in	advance	on	the	evening	of	december	5th	here	in	my	hometown	through	various	established	contacts	and	i	can	tell	you	right	now	that	there's	no	need	to	hold	your	breath	.	the	movie	is	set	in	new	york	city	and	pfeiffer	and	clooney	star	as	the	parents	of	kindergarten	aged	children	who	arrive	one	morning	escorting	their	offspring	to	school	and	they	are	late	and	the	class	has	already	left	for	their	scheduled	field	trip	.	she	is	an	architect	on	the	verge	of	a	major	promotion	within	her	company	and	he	is	a	high	profile	journalist	working	on	the	most	important	story	of	his	life	.	they	are	forced	to	juggle	the	needs	of	their	children	and	their	careers	and	are	inadvertently	thrown	together	for	one	fine	day	of	course	meaning	it	will	be	one	of	the	most	chaotic	and	alarming	days	in	memory	as	they	must	bring	small	children	to	work	with	them	!	unfortunately	you	can't	build	a	film	with	a	running	time	of	108	minutes	simply	around	a	premise	.	the	premise	must	expand	into	plot	and	develop	gears	to	get	off	the	ground	.	this	film	never	does	that	and	i	looked	at	my	watch	at	precisely	the	24	minute	mark	which	is	a	bad	sign	.	clooney	,	who	has	struck	gold	on	television's	'er'	and	who	is	presently	shoooting	next	summer's	'batman	and	robin'	in	which	he	will	star	as	the	caped	crusader	is	the	only	character	with	some	interesting	aspects	.	he	makes	the	most	of	a	repetitive	script	by	adding	an	easy	going	charm	and	likeability	while	pfeiffer	suffers	badly	in	a	role	that	gives	working	women	a	bad	name	and	really	makes	them	the	target	of	male	chauvanism	.	the	film	plays	more	like	a	network	television	movie	rather	than	a	big	screen	hollywood	presentation	and	i	was	actually	offended	at	the	amount	of	unintended	child	neglect	that	is	associated	with	this	film	.	michelle	pfeiffer	is	a	remarkably	talented	actress	and	gained	breakthrough	recognition	and	critical	acclaim	in	1983's	'scarface'	as	al	pacino's	trashy	and	drug	addicted	wife	.	clooney	has	had	small	success	on	the	big	screen	but	gained	some	surprisingly	good	notices	earlier	this	year	for	robert	rodriguez's	'from	dusk	till	dawn'	as	a	murdering	escaped	prisoner	on	the	lam	in	texas	trying	to	make	it	to	the	mexican	border	with	his	sexually	psychotic	brother	and	a	family	he's	taken	hostage	.	clooney	was	one	of	the	most	chilling	and	unrepenting	bad	guys	in	recent	memory	in	that	movie	which	was	indefensible	garbage	.	i	would	like	to	see	clooney	perform	well	in	a	good	film	instead	of	being	the	standout	character	in	really	bad	movie	which	has	been	happening	a	lot	lately	.	'one	fine	day'	even	has	the	nerve	to	insult	us	by	having	its	two	leading	characters	who	hate	each	other	at	the	beginning	of	the	movie	slowly	fall	in	love	and	bring	us	to	a	disappointing	conclusion	.	i've	given	away	nothing	but	what	a	cliche	!
neg	what	hath	kevin	williamson	wrought	?	while	the	horror	movie	revival	spurred	on	by	his	_	scream	_	has	yielded	a	few	decent	entries	in	the	genre	_	i	_	know	_	what	_	you	_	did	_	last	_	summer	_	,	_	halloween	:	_	h20	_	,	and	_	scream	_	2	_	it	must	be	noted	that	williamson	himself	had	a	hand	in	the	writing	of	those	films	.	those	williamson	less	post	_	scream	_	efforts	,	among	them	_	wishmaster	_	and	the	recent	_	disturbing	_	behavior	_	,	have	been	frightening	all	right	frighteningly	,	insultingly	_	bad	_	.	add	to	that	list	_	urban	_	legend	_	,	which	takes	a	promising	premise	and	runs	it	through	a	predictable	meat	grinder	of	idiocy	.	the	influence	of	williamson	on	screenwriter	silvio	horta	is	clear	in	two	key	areas	.	first	,	the	opening	sequence	,	like	that	of	_	scream	_	,	is	an	extended	set	piece	detailing	the	singular	murder	that	gets	the	proverbial	ball	rolling	.	this	sequence	,	in	which	pendleton	college	coed	michelle	mancini	(	natasha	gregson	wagner	)	is	decapitated	while	driving	,	also	reveals	the	other	obviously	williamson	esque	touch	:	the	killer's	look	.	dressed	in	a	large	hooded	parka	,	wielding	an	axe	,	the	killer	bears	more	than	a	passing	resemblance	to	the	_	i	_	know	.	.	.	_	fisherman	,	sans	the	hook	.	one	thing	horta	does	not	borrow	from	williamson	,	however	,	is	the	intriguing	premise	.	students	at	pendleton	are	being	killed	by	way	of	urban	legends	those	contemporary	bits	of	"	mythology	"	passed	from	person	to	person	,	group	to	group	,	year	to	year	that	become	so	embedded	in	the	social	consciousness	.	it	hardly	matters	if	they	are	true	or	not	,	such	as	the	tall	tale	that	mikey	from	the	life	cereal	commercials	died	from	a	fatal	combination	of	pop	rocks	and	pepsi	(	he	didn't	)	.	michelle	,	slain	by	the	"	killer	lurking	in	the	backseat	"	of	lore	,	is	but	the	first	to	fall	prey	to	an	urban	legend	come	true	;	as	the	body	count	rises	,	fellow	pendleton	student	natalie	(	alicia	witt	)	suspects	not	only	a	link	between	the	murders	,	but	a	personal	link	to	her	past	as	well	.	the	setup	shows	promise	,	but	the	story	never	takes	off	,	due	in	large	part	to	horta	and	the	director	,	the	aptly	named	jamie	blanks	,	who	fires	round	afer	round	of	his	namesake	in	terms	of	suspense	and	scares	.	too	many	of	the	would	be	shocks	are	fakeouts	reliant	on	bombastic	music	cues	,	and	the	film's	chase	scenes	are	riddled	with	the	cliches	that	_	scream	_	tried	to	subvert	,	like	screaming	damsels	knowingly	running	themselves	into	dead	ends	when	they	should	and	could	run	out	the	front	door	.	but	that	is	just	the	tip	of	the	iceberg	when	it	comes	to	cliches	;	there's	also	the	climactic	villain	confession	,	in	which	a	contrived	and	way	too	convenient	motive	is	revealed	,	not	to	mention	the	credit	card	opening	up	the	locked	door	trick	,	which	is	a	cliche	in	any	film	genre	.	banks	and	horta's	(	intentional	)	attempts	at	humor	are	also	lame	;	the	fact	that	the	best	gags	are	lazy	,	in	jokey	references	to	the	other	credits	of	co	stars	joshua	jackson	and	rebecca	gayheart	says	a	lot	about	the	imagination	of	their	humor	.	some	laughs	are	also	had	when	the	rather	predictable	identity	of	the	killer	is	revealed	,	but	i'm	not	so	sure	if	some	of	the	more	hilarious	things	about	it	were	meant	to	be	so	.	the	filmmakers	don't	get	much	help	from	their	onscreen	talent	.	i	was	far	from	a	fan	of	bland	_	i	_	know	.	.	.	_	starlet	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	but	i'd	talke	her	any	day	ove	the	dreadfully	stiff	and	uncharismatic	witt	,	whose	inept	attempts	at	emoting	were	often	met	with	laughter	;	witt	has	a	pefect	foil	in	her	equally	pesence	challenged	leading	man	,	jared	leto	.	_	dawson's	_	creek	_	star	jackson	mugs	his	way	thorugh	a	glorified	cameo	;	gayheart	displays	all	the	depth	and	range	of	,	well	,	a	noxzema	spokeswoman	;	and	robert	englund	lends	the	film	little	more	than	his	freddy	krueger	pedigree	as	a	folklore	professor	.	granted	,	the	cast	is	hampered	by	their	material	.	loretta	devine	,	who	has	done	some	fine	work	in	films	such	as	_	waiting	_	to	_	exhale	_	,	is	saddled	with	the	ridiculous	role	of	a	pam	grier	worshiping	campus	security	guard	.	the	recently	resuscitated	horror	genre	cannot	rely	on	the	efforts	one	man	namely	,	kevin	williamson	to	stay	alive	.	if	other	filmmakers	continue	to	make	such	shoddy	product	as	_	urban	_	legend	_	,	the	genre	looks	to	once	again	go	the	way	of	screen	slashers'	many	victims	.
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	five	years	after	his	directorial	debut	based	on	stephen	king's	writings	called	the	shawshank	redemption	(	9	10	)	,	writer	director	frank	darabont	returns	to	the	big	screen	with	another	prison	film	based	on	the	famous	scribblings	of	stephen	king	.	unlike	the	latter	film	,	this	one	is	a	big	,	long	,	laborious	bore	.	plot	:	a	seven	foot	death	row	inmate	is	discovered	to	have	secret	healing	powers	.	critique	:	this	film	is	slow	,	drawn	out	,	boring	,	uninteresting	,	unexciting	,	predictable	and	topped	with	a	couple	of	one	dimensional	"	evil	"	characters	.	its	only	positive	attribute	lies	in	its	actors	who	all	do	credible	jobs	and	its	message	of	hope	and	belief	in	miracles	.	the	real	miracle	of	my	night	was	the	fact	that	i	did	not	fall	asleep	during	this	straightforward	,	unimpressive	film	about	a	guy	with	special	powers	who	we	never	truly	understand	or	care	about	.	of	course	,	much	like	all	other	death	row	cell	blocks	,	this	one	is	filled	with	decent	inmates	who	all	happen	to	be	"	misunderstood	"	,	except	for	one	cookie	cutter	crazy	guy	who	is	evil	personified	.	and	let's	not	forget	all	the	guards	on	death	row	,	who	also	happen	to	be	angels	from	the	heaven	above	,	except	for	one	cookie	cutter	crazy	guard	who	is	also	evil	personified	(	and	is	there	any	reason	why	there	are	about	six	guards	when	there	appears	to	be	no	more	than	three	inmates	?	?	?	)	.	am	i	supposed	to	identify	with	anyone	in	this	film	?	or	even	more	importantly	,	am	i	supposed	to	give	a	rat's	ass	about	anyone	in	this	film	?	well	,	if	i	was	,	i	sure	missed	that	boat	,	because	the	only	thing	that	i	ended	up	caring	about	during	this	entire	picture	was	the	obscene	amount	of	fat	that	tom	hanks	has	been	able	to	burrow	under	his	loose	chin	.	furthermore	,	there	is	absolutely	no	reason	in	the	world	why	director	frank	darabont	needed	to	take	three	hours	and	ten	minutes	out	of	anyone's	life	to	present	this	story	.	in	fact	,	the	story	is	empty	within	itself	.	i	truly	did	not	get	anything	out	of	the	film	other	than	the	fact	that	there	is	a	guy	on	death	row	who	has	special	powers	to	heal	,	and	we	are	left	wondering	if	he	should	still	be	executed	or	not	.	wow	.	how	interesting	yawn	.	the	plot's	utter	predictability	is	also	at	fault	here	with	one	guess	as	to	whom	is	to	get	healed	by	the	gentle	monster	in	this	film	(	we	are	told	that	one	certain	lady	has	a	tumor	early	on	in	the	movie	)	.	whip	out	those	thinking	caps	,	kids	!	hmmm	,	and	i	wonder	what	will	happen	to	those	two	cookie	cutter	"	evil	"	guys	who	have	nothing	in	their	system	but	hate	and	negativity	.	hmmmm	,	now	think	hard	here	,	boys	and	girls	.	what	a	crock	!	i	am	guessing	that	this	film	was	supposed	to	be	some	three	hour	exercise	in	spirituality	,	but	unfortunately	for	me	,	it	was	neither	spiritual	or	the	least	bit	engaging	.	in	fact	,	it	was	one	big	bore	.	i	didn't	see	the	point	of	the	movie	,	i	didn't	see	the	point	of	the	story	and	i	certainly	didn't	see	the	point	in	tom	hanks'	big	double	chin	.	all	in	all	,	a	bad	movie	starring	some	great	actors	doing	solid	work	,	especially	michael	clarke	duncan	as	the	man	of	the	hour	,	john	coffey	.	give	that	man	an	award	or	something	!
neg	the	wedding	planner	(	2001	)	directed	by	adam	shankman	.	screenplay	,	pamela	falk	,	michael	ellis	.	photography	,	julio	macat	.	music	,	mervyn	warren	.	cast	:	jennifer	lopez	(	mary	fiore	)	,	matthew	mcconaughey	(	steve	edison	)	bridgette	wilson	sampras	(	fran	donolly	)	,	justin	chambers	(	massimo	)	,	judy	greer	(	penny	)	,	alex	rocco	(	salvatore	fiore	)	,	joanna	gleason	(	mrs	.	donolly	)	,	charles	kimbrough	(	mr	.	donolly	)	,	et	al	.	a	sony	release	.	101	minutes	.	pg	13	"	veni	,	vidi	,	vici	"	said	julius	caesar	,	"	i	came	,	i	saw	,	i	conquered	.	"	re	the	wedding	planner	,	i	came	,	i	saw	,	i	was	monumentally	bored	.	after	he	first	reel	.	in	the	latter	,	mary	(	lopez	)	is	the	powerhouse	top	handler	in	a	chic	firm	of	wedding	consultants	in	san	francisco	.	the	early	sequences	are	amusing	.	she	runs	a	wedding	with	the	modern	,	technological	efficiently	of	a	three	star	general	.	self	assured	and	fully	aware	of	her	value	to	the	firm	,	she	is	gunning	for	a	partnership	.	the	scenes	are	fast	moving	and	fast	talking	,	like	a	throwback	to	classic	screwball	comedies	such	as	twentieth	century	,	bringing	up	baby	or	his	girl	friday	.	but	her	private	life	,	while	minutely	organized	,	is	empty	.	then	,	while	planning	the	highly	profitable	wedding	of	heiress	fran	,	in	a	forced	development	a	street	accident	causes	meeting	cute	with	pediatrician	steve	(	mcconaughey	)	.	in	a	mega	coincidence	of	the	kind	that	give	a	bad	name	to	movies	,	romance	raises	its	head	as	soon	after	steve	turns	out	to	be	is	the	fianc	of	client	fran	.	an	unlikely	quid	pro	quo	is	reinforced	by	shovelfuls	of	artificiality	in	plot	,	cardboard	characters	,	relationships	,	antagonisms	,	side	events	.	.	.	another	thread	has	mary's	father	salvatore	(	alex	rocco	)	,	surprise	her	with	the	arrival	from	italy	of	massimo	(	justin	chambers	)	a	childhood	playmate	.	as	absurdities	escalate	,	massimo	wants	to	marry	mary	.	his	role	is	useless	,	gratuitous	and	plain	stupid	.	his	italian	as	well	as	his	italian	accented	english	are	atrociously	false	,	as	are	daddy	salvatore's	.	shots	,	scenes	and	sequences	pile	up	in	a	gauche	,	unintegrated	script	.	the	movie	is	like	a	cut	up	cadaver	that	they	are	trying	to	make	whole	with	stitches	.	there	is	no	forward	movement	,	no	impetus	,	no	suspense	,	no	guessing	in	all	this	flab	.	you	can	see	everything	coming	from	day	two	as	the	"	developments	"	increase	to	himalayan	heights	of	dumbness	.	in	the	finale	,	the	lopez	character	and	the	pediatrician	will	be	the	new	couple	.	predictable	.	but	it	makes	no	sense	that	she	blames	herself	for	having	been	a	control	freak	.	she	was	simply	doing	her	job	.	all	this	is	nap	inducing	with	the	force	of	five	tylenol	plus	.	there's	an	embarrassment	of	choices	in	attributing	film	guilt	to	the	makers	.	a	first	time	director	whose	trade	is	choreography	;	a	novice	writer	and	her	inexperienced	collaborator	;	a	regiment	of	producers	,	executive	producers	and	co	producers	;	a	plethora	of	companies	(	the	credits	read	:	a	sony	pictures	release	of	a	columbia	pictures	and	interme	presentation	of	a	tapestry	films	dee	gee	entertainment	imf	production	in	association	with	prufrock	pictures	.	)	too	many	cooks	?	the	screening	of	this	feature	was	preceded	by	three	unpromising	previews	.	the	wedding	planner	confirmed	that	after	the	mostly	awful	summer	2000	movies	,	and	after	their	subsequent	replacement	by	some	good	films	year	end	items	(	the	usual	pre	oscar	race	)	,	bad	movies	are	back	to	reinforce	the	dismal	norms	of	hollywood	.	by	coincidence	,	a	couple	of	hours	after	seeing	the	wedding	planner	,	i	caught	on	cable	gregory	nava's	1997	biopic	"	selena	,	"	with	jennifer	lopez	in	the	title	role	.	it	is	about	the	tejano	singer	who	was	murdered	in	1995	,	at	age	23	,	just	as	she	was	becoming	a	household	name	.	it	is	just	a	good	movie	but	it	feels	even	better	when	compared	to	the	wedding	planner	.	a	trivial	note	:	fran	is	played	by	the	former	bridgette	wilson	who	married	tennis	player	sampras	and	now	goes	under	the	hyphenated	name	wildon	sampras	.	a	non	trivial	note	:	for	her	role	lopez	was	paid	9	million	dollars	.
neg	bruce	willis	needs	to	stay	away	from	straightforward	action	pictures	.	mercury	rising	adds	to	a	growing	list	(	including	such	stinkers	as	the	jackal	,	last	man	standing	,	striking	distance	and	the	last	boy	scout	)	of	stale	actioners	he	has	headlined	.	and	though	mercury	rising	tries	to	spice	things	up	by	throwing	an	autistic	kid	in	the	mix	,	it	is	every	bit	as	stale	.	art	jeffries	(	bruce	willis	)	is	your	typical	tormented	fbi	agent	.	you	know	the	type	,	haunted	by	his	job	,	yet	so	good	at	what	he	does	that	even	physically	assaulting	another	agent	merely	gets	him	a	slap	on	the	wrist	.	enter	simon	(	miko	hughes	)	,	an	autistic	boy	,	who	,	like	rain	man	and	all	other	autistic	people	,	is	a	savant	.	he	can	merely	gaze	at	a	super	encrypted	message	,	and	,	while	little	computer	beeps	go	off	in	his	head	,	he	can	understand	what	it	says	.	naturally	,	this	talent	has	brought	him	to	the	attention	of	the	federal	government	.	lt	.	col	.	nicholas	kudrow	(	alec	baldwin	)	,	an	nsa	official	bubbling	over	with	evil	,	has	spent	countless	time	and	money	implementing	the	newest	"	unbreakable	"	code	,	mercury	.	however	,	when	two	of	his	underlings	(	robert	stanton	and	bodhi	pine	elfman	)	publish	a	mercury	encrypted	message	in	a	puzzle	magazine	as	a	final	test	of	its	effectiveness	,	simon	cracks	the	code	.	naturally	,	this	infuriates	kudrow	,	who	sends	a	terminator	like	hitman	(	l	.	l	.	ginter	)	to	eliminate	the	security	hazard	.	and	that's	where	art	jeffries	comes	in	.	for	some	reason	that's	never	explained	in	the	film	,	the	fbi	is	called	in	to	help	,	and	through	a	series	of	intricate	machinations	,	art	becomes	the	sole	protector	of	the	young	autistic	boy	.	in	a	few	unrealistic	sequences	,	he	enlists	the	aid	of	a	stranger	,	stacey	(	kim	dickens	)	,	to	help	out	,	but	she	is	given	very	little	to	do	overall	.	the	central	concept	behind	mercury	rising	is	ludicrous	.	why	bother	trying	to	kill	the	kid	.	.	.	i	mean	,	who	would	know	?	it's	not	like	the	kid	(	or	anyone	else	for	that	matter	)	knew	he	was	cracking	a	government	super	cypher	.	and	even	if	he	is	eliminated	,	what	does	that	help	?	he's	already	proven	that	mercury	can	be	broken	.	there's	always	the	chance	that	someone	else	would	crack	it	.	.	.	but	i	guess	without	a	kid	in	jeopardy	,	there's	not	much	of	a	movie	here	.	for	all	its	faults	,	the	film	actually	starts	relatively	well	(	once	you	pass	the	painfully	familiar	teaser	)	.	the	film	flirts	with	developing	real	characters	,	and	a	semblance	of	a	plot	.	.	.	then	mr	.	terminator	the	hitman	appears	and	everything	begins	going	downhill	.	.	.	quickly	.	miko	hughes	does	a	decent	job	,	for	his	age	,	at	creating	a	touching	performance	.	however	,	don't	go	to	this	film	looking	for	any	new	insights	into	autism	(	not	that	many	people	will	)	.	instead	he	merely	becomes	the	latest	unique	partner	in	a	routine	buddy	cop	movie	(	think	cop	and	a	half	.	.	.	with	a	twist	!	)	willis	and	baldwin	are	just	overplaying	to	type	.	rather	than	creating	a	nuanced	character	,	baldwin	simply	oozes	sliminess	.	and	for	willis'	part	,	he	simply	recycles	the	stock	role	of	the	loner	cop	fbi	agent	(	which	he	has	honed	in	the	die	hard	series	)	.	as	almost	an	afterthought	,	about	halfway	through	,	the	film	carelessly	gives	him	a	character	trait	(	an	addiction	)	,	and	then	drops	it	in	the	next	scene	.	but	the	biggest	problem	with	mercury	rising	is	the	screenplay	.	this	film	wasn't	well	thought	out	at	all	.	the	film	goes	to	extraordinary	lengths	to	pad	in	as	many	convenient	coincidences	as	possible	.	the	carbon	paper	scene	alone	is	unworthy	of	the	most	gullible	audience	member	.	at	first	the	bad	scenes	just	trickle	in	,	but	by	the	gruesomely	bad	finale	they're	a	veritable	flood	.	the	film's	few	decent	moments	come	in	the	form	of	bad	jokes	(	mainly	from	the	geeks	who	developed	the	supercode	)	.	but	they're	not	nearly	enough	to	make	the	film	worthwhile	.	mercury	rising	is	a	thriller	that	you're	more	likely	to	groan	at	than	cheer	.
neg	swordfish	(	2001	)	1	1	2	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	john	travolta	,	hugh	jackman	,	halle	berry	,	don	cheadle	,	vinnie	jones	and	sam	shepard	.	written	by	skip	woods	.	directed	by	dominic	sena	.	rated	r	.	at	the	outset	of	swordfish	,	john	travolta's	gabriel	shear	is	pontificating	about	the	status	of	american	cinema	today	.	basically	,	he	says	,	it	boils	down	to	a	lack	of	imagination	among	the	majority	of	writers	.	how	ironic	,	as	travolta	seems	to	be	describing	his	latest	venture	.	swordfish	is	loud	,	violent	and	amoral	.	it	has	the	audacity	to	justify	murder	and	mayhem	in	the	name	of	sustaining	our	way	of	life	.	and	how	does	travolta's	gabriel	plan	to	do	this	?	by	robbing	billions	from	his	own	government	and	using	the	funds	to	out	terrorize	terrorists	.	swordfish	is	a	very	cynical	movie	.	it	relies	on	an	audience's	perception	of	our	leaders	as	ineffectual	and	duplicitous	and	on	terrorists	as	non	human	,	faceless	entities	not	worthy	of	compassion	or	consideration	.	the	movie's	plot	is	preposterous	with	enough	illogical	leaps	that	if	the	film	ever	slowed	down	,	you'd	actually	see	how	ridiculous	it	all	is	.	this	is	a	live	action	road	runner	cartoon	,	moving	so	quickly	that	it's	over	before	you	can	catch	your	breath	to	ask	any	reasonable	questions	.	the	storyline	revolves	around	super	hacker	stanley	jobson	(	hugh	jackman	)	,	recruited	by	gabriel	to	crack	the	government's	computer	codes	so	gabriel	can	gather	billions	for	his	anti	terrorist	campaign	.	talk	about	whacked	out	patriotism	.	my	objections	to	swordfish	are	many	.	the	body	count	is	high	,	but	that	is	expected	in	a	movie	of	this	sort	.	it's	becoming	a	bore	watching	anonymous	soldiers	,	police	officers	and	government	agents	blown	to	bits	.	another	example	is	the	family	dynamics	between	stanley	,	his	10	year	old	daughter	and	his	ex	wife	.	stanley	,	though	having	served	time	in	prison	for	hacking	,	is	shown	as	a	loving	and	caring	father	,	forbidden	by	his	ex	to	see	his	little	girl	.	audience	animosity	is	immediately	created	for	his	former	spouse	by	showing	her	as	a	drinker	and	smoker	who	also	sometimes	stars	in	her	new	husband's	adult	films	.	thus	when	she	is	found	murdered	late	in	the	movie	,	neither	stanley	nor	his	daughter	are	allowed	any	time	to	grieve	.	in	fact	,	subconsciously	,	many	in	the	audience	are	probably	glad	she	was	killed	.	then	there	is	the	sequence	involving	one	of	gabriel's	henchman	holding	a	gun	to	the	head	of	stanley's	daughter	to	coerce	the	hacker	to	download	the	key	computer	program	for	gabriel	.	children	as	pawns	have	become	a	most	unwelcome	clich	in	recent	films	.	there	is	enough	violence	in	the	real	world	involving	children	without	having	to	make	them	on	screen	victims	as	well	.	yea	,	it's	only	make	believe	,	but	that	doesn't	mean	you	have	to	tolerate	it	.	travolta	is	cool	,	deadly	charming	and	flamboyant	as	the	near	crazy	gabriel	.	his	character	is	reminiscent	of	his	villainous	characterizations	in	broken	arrow	and	face	off	.	jackman	looks	dour	through	most	of	the	proceedings	.	his	only	moment	of	any	depth	comes	when	he	finally	is	able	to	create	the	worm	to	get	inside	the	government	database	.	his	sense	of	joy	and	accomplishment	is	one	any	computer	whiz	can	appreciate	.	halle	berry	is	decorative	and	lovely	as	gabriel's	assistant	,	while	don	cheadle	is	given	little	to	do	as	the	head	fbi	agent	hunting	gabriel	.	swordfish	plays	like	a	comic	book	with	a	larger	than	life	character	in	gabriel	.	viewers	align	themselves	with	him	despite	their	uncertainty	if	he	is	hero	or	villain	.	and	maybe	that	is	the	movie's	underlying	flaw	:	there	is	no	real	hero	to	speak	of	,	only	those	doing	their	upmost	to	survive	.	and	that	is	not	enough	.	this	is	one	swordfish	that	should	have	been	thrown	back	in	the	water	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
neg	capsule	:	irredeemably	stupid	and	pigheaded	attempt	at	a	story	about	the	first	female	navy	seal	.	read	rogue	warrior	instead	.	demi	moore	has	never	been	terribly	compelling	,	if	you	ask	me	,	but	she's	the	best	thing	in	g	.	i	.	jane	,	a	dismal	and	off	kilter	piece	of	work	from	the	once	notable	director	ridley	scott	.	what's	to	be	said	about	a	movie	where	the	best	scene	is	the	one	where	she	shaves	her	own	head	?	the	biggest	problems	with	g	.	i	.	jane	are	a	)	plausibility	and	b	)	deployment	.	the	broad	outlines	of	the	story	are	compelling	the	very	concept	of	women	in	the	military	has	always	caused	a	stir	in	many	quarters	but	the	movie	hasn't	got	the	faintest	idea	how	to	put	across	its	conceits	.	plus	,	it	suffers	from	a	grafted	on	hollywood	plot	that	one	can	hear	squeaking	and	grinding	blocks	away	.	moore	plays	o'neil	,	a	career	military	woman	with	enough	endurance	for	any	three	soldiers	.	she	gets	involved	in	a	pilot	program	to	allow	women	in	the	seal	training	program	,	which	is	being	coordinated	by	a	brassy	female	senator	(	anne	bancroft	,	utterly	wasted	)	.	a	good	example	of	the	movie's	basic	airheadedness	or	maybe	indecisiveness	is	an	early	scene	with	moore's	beau	,	also	a	military	man	.	"	i	wasn't	ready	to	decide	the	rest	of	my	life	today	,	"	he	bleats	at	her	while	scrubbing	her	toes	in	the	bathroom	.	the	whole	speech	was	glaringly	upstaged	by	the	fact	that	for	a	military	office	,	o'neil	sorry	,	demi	has	amazingly	good	looking	feet	.	o'neil's	trouble	begins	before	she	even	enters	seal	training	proper	.	a	whole	bevy	of	preferential	treatments	have	been	set	up	to	provide	women	with	a	slightly	easier	road	into	the	military	,	and	apparently	all	of	those	protocols	have	been	preserved	in	the	seal	program	as	well	.	this	gets	o'neil	hopping	mad	,	since	that's	the	last	thing	she	wants	.	there	are	several	tongue	tied	speeches	about	whether	or	not	her	very	presence	there	"	makes	a	statement	"	,	but	the	movie	simply	doesn't	have	the	capacity	to	make	us	care	;	it's	too	busy	hustling	us	through	one	manufactured	conflict	after	another	.	the	details	of	the	seal	training	are	ridiculous	and	overblown	.	in	richard	marcienko's	eye	opening	book	rogue	warrior	,	there	are	a	great	many	details	about	the	brutality	of	the	program	(	60	percent	of	the	enlistees	don't	make	it	)	.	in	g	.	i	.	jane	,	we're	treated	to	the	unbelievable	sight	of	the	drill	seargeants	using	live	ammo	on	the	recruits	in	one	exercise	.	in	another	scene	,	the	recruits	have	to	eat	their	meals	out	of	trash	cans	.	physical	abuse	is	commonplace	(	another	total	boner	)	.	even	the	hill	didn't	go	this	far	.	as	the	movie	plodded	onwards	,	i	kept	asking	myself	:	isn't	there	some	basis	in	fact	for	a	better	,	more	compelling	story	about	this	subject	?	a	story	that	wasn't	beholden	to	hollywood	conventions	about	the	military	,	for	one	?	the	movie	also	shoots	itself	in	the	foot	by	injecting	gratuitous	pop	song	snatches	onto	the	soundtrack	(	"	mama	told	me	not	to	come	"	is	used	to	disastrous	effect	at	one	point	)	,	which	only	makes	the	movie	seem	that	much	more	contrived	and	manipulative	.	demi	is	,	interestingly	enough	,	fine	in	the	picture	.	there	was	never	a	moment	when	i	doubted	her	competence	or	her	physical	presence	.	it	was	the	rest	of	the	movie	i	had	my	reservations	about	.	big	ones	.
neg	new	line	1997	1	:	37	pg	13	(	language	,	violence	,	disturbing	religious	overtones	,	crude	sex	humor	)	cast	:	john	leguizamo	;	michael	jai	white	;	martin	sheen	;	theresa	randle	;	melinda	clarke	;	miko	hughes	;	sydni	beaudoin	;	nicol	williamson	;	d	.	b	.	sweeney	director	:	mark	a	.	z	.	dippe	screenplay	:	alan	mcelroy	"	spawn	"	features	good	guys	,	bad	guys	,	lots	of	fighting	,	bloody	violence	,	a	leather	clad	machine	gun	chick	,	gooey	,	self	healing	bullet	holes	,	scatological	humor	and	a	man	eating	monster	.	it	not	only	appears	to	have	been	tailor	made	for	a	swarm	of	12	and	13	year	old	boys	,	it	appears	to	have	been	made	by	them	.	in	a	classic	example	of	telling	and	not	showing	,	"	spawn	"	opens	with	a	truckload	of	mumbo	jumbo	about	forces	of	darkness	,	forces	of	light	and	how	"	men	are	the	ones	who	create	evil	on	earth	.	"	so	much	for	a	message	.	the	movie	then	lurches	forward	into	the	plight	of	al	simmons	(	michael	jai	white	)	,	a	government	assassin	operative	who	is	murdered	by	diabolical	boss	jason	wynn	(	martin	sheen	,	who	plays	all	of	his	scenes	like	an	oscar	clip	)	while	on	a	top	secret	mission	in	a	north	korean	biological	weapons	plant	.	simmons	goes	to	hell	and	back	,	after	making	a	deal	with	satan	himself	if	he	agrees	to	command	the	devil's	army	to	overtake	the	world	,	he'll	be	allowed	to	return	to	earth	to	see	his	wife	wanda	(	underused	theresa	randle	)	and	little	girl	cyan	(	sydni	beaudoin	)	.	of	course	,	seeing	as	how	five	years	has	passed	,	wanda	has	fallen	for	and	married	simmons'	partner	(	d	.	b	.	sweeney	)	.	his	,	uh	,	shoulder	to	cry	on	comes	in	the	form	of	clown	(	john	leguizamo	)	,	a	disgustingly	disproportioned	minion	of	satan's	.	clown	manipulates	simmons	,	now	in	superhuman	spawn	form	,	into	a	stand	off	with	wynn	.	wynn	,	who	thinks	he	is	in	league	with	the	double	dealing	clown	,	recognizes	spawn	as	a	threat	and	undergoes	an	operation	where	a	bomb	is	placed	on	his	heart	when	it	stops	beating	,	major	cities	around	the	world	will	detonate	,	causing	the	leak	of	a	disease	that	"	makes	the	ebola	virus	look	like	a	skin	rash	.	"
neg	"	expectations	"	may	be	an	obsession	of	mine	,	but	i'll	say	it	:	if	you	can	park	virtually	every	expectation	at	the	door	,	this	will	be	a	flick	that	can	become	addictive	.	it	will	hit	you	on	more	levels	than	most	three	other	movies	.	it's	a	romp	the	sort	of	thing	lots	of	us	wanted	to	do	as	kids	screw	everything	,	grab	a	car	,	and	beat	it	for	the	border	.	it's	an	adventure	where	the	stakes	are	high	,	and	the	hero	must	play	everything	right	or	face	disaster	.	it's	a	comedy	where	adults	are	somewhat	silly	,	and	two	kids	create	their	own	universe	.	it's	sort	of	like	a	horror	story	,	but	without	magic	or	the	supernatural	where	the	demons	are	utterly	ordinary	people	doing	ordinary	sorts	of	things	.	and	it's	a	morality	play	where	the	hero	has	to	face	himself	and	his	own	actions	.	but	if	you	can't	park	the	expectations	,	you	may	very	well	hit	a	wall	with	this	film	.	others	have	.
neg	the	formula	is	simple	.	trap	a	varied	group	of	people	on	an	isolated	location	,	then	pop	in	a	seemingly	unstoppable	monster	to	kill	them	one	by	one	.	these	have	been	the	successful	ingredients	for	many	good	films	(	the	thing	,	alien	,	aliens	,	and	tremors	to	name	a	few	)	.	so	,	why	is	it	that	so	many	films	following	this	recipe	end	up	pathetically	bad	?	(	see	the	relic	for	a	particularly	putrid	example	.	)	perhaps	it	is	simply	too	easy	to	forget	the	necessary	binding	ingredient	:	effort	and	ideas	.	deep	rising	meets	these	two	requirements	part	way	,	but	not	enough	to	salvage	the	film	.	treat	williams	is	finnegan	,	the	leader	of	a	small	boat	crew	who	hire	out	their	services	(	and	their	boat	)	for	any	activity	.	.	.	no	questions	asked	.	this	time	,	however	,	they	may	have	gone	too	far	.	their	passengers	,	led	by	the	ominous	wes	studi	,	are	the	type	of	multi	national	terrorist	squads	usually	only	seen	in	die	hard	films	.	and	their	cargo	.	.	.	let's	just	say	it	has	very	high	explosive	potential	.	what	is	the	target	of	these	thieves	?	why	,	the	argonauticus	,	of	course	,	a	high	tech	luxury	cruise	yacht	on	its	maiden	voyage	.	but	something	else	is	hunting	the	argonauticus	.	.	.	something	ancient	and	deadly	.	by	the	time	the	thieves	arrive	,	nearly	everyone	on	board	the	ship	has	been	killed	.	and	now	the	creature	senses	fresh	meat	!	so	,	you	have	the	thieves	and	their	mercenary	boat	crew	,	joining	forces	with	the	surviving	passengers	(	including	the	ship	owner	canton	(	anthony	heald	)	,	and	a	thief	with	less	lofty	goals	,	trillian	(	famke	janssen	)	)	against	the	terror	from	the	deep	.	and	the	monster	gets	to	pick	them	off	one	by	one	.	fortunately	for	the	creature	,	this	particular	band	of	criminals	happens	to	be	the	dumbest	the	world	can	offer	.	why	else	would	they	indulge	in	petty	squabbling	while	they	watch	their	friends	become	fish	food	.	if	there's	a	more	clarion	call	for	unity	,	i	don't	know	what	it	might	be	.	it's	pretty	easy	to	guess	who	will	get	killed	off	when	.	there	are	no	surprises	in	that	the	most	interesting	characters	seem	to	last	until	the	end	.	for	the	most	part	,	the	watery	tentacles	seem	to	be	acting	on	the	audience's	impulses	to	get	rid	of	the	most	boring	characters	first	.	(	although	i	wonder	if	the	filmmakers	might	have	extended	djimon	hounsou's	life	a	bit	if	they	knew	this	would	be	released	so	soon	after	his	acclaim	for	amistad	.	)	treat	williams	is	a	passable	hero	,	and	famke	janssen	does	her	best	julia	roberts	impersonation	.	but	while	wes	studi	and	anthony	heald	are	particularly	slimy	,	very	little	of	the	rest	of	the	company	stand	out	in	any	way	.	the	biggest	treat	in	the	film	,	however	,	has	to	be	pantucci	,	kevin	j	.	o'connor's	whining	engine	boy	,	under	finnegan's	employ	.	his	constant	quips	may	be	a	bit	over	written	,	but	they	manage	to	capture	the	same	vein	of	nerve	addled	humor	that	bill	paxton	delivered	as	hudson	in	aliens	(	or	todd	graff	as	hippie	in	the	abyss	,	for	that	matter	)	.	it's	just	a	stock	part	(	the	comic	relief	character	)	,	but	it	almost	makes	this	tired	alien	clone	bearable	.	as	far	as	the	monster	goes	,	although	the	cgi	is	done	well	,	the	creature	has	no	logical	consistency	.	think	back	to	the	great	(	or	even	just	good	)	movie	monsters	.	they	all	had	a	set	of	"	rules	"	about	what	they	could	do	,	and	how	and	why	they	would	do	it	.	part	of	the	joy	of	those	films	was	slowly	discovering	,	along	with	the	heroes	,	just	what	those	rules	are	.	the	tentacle	monster	in	deep	rising	doesn't	have	a	set	of	rules	.	.	.	or	if	it	does	,	not	a	very	good	one	.	it	merely	eats	(	or	drinks	,	as	the	case	may	be	)	,	and	there	is	no	rhyme	or	reason	for	what	it	does	in	order	to	do	so	.	the	film	never	explains	why	the	argonauticus	is	attacked	in	the	first	place	.	it	simply	happens	.	the	action	scenes	are	decent	,	but	few	are	noteworthy	.	the	film	definitely	does	suffer	from	its	proximity	to	titanic	.	deep	rising's	peril	in	the	water	scenes	pale	next	to	cameron's	(	but	can	you	really	blame	them	)	.	unfortunately	,	deep	rising's	efforts	are	more	on	par	with	speed	2	.	on	the	plus	side	,	however	,	the	film's	closing	image	shows	some	promise	for	a	potentially	interesting	(	but	unlikely	)	sequel	.	perhaps	you'd	be	better	off	waiting	for	that	one	.
neg	every	now	and	then	,	reviewers	are	faced	with	the	films	that	are	hard	to	be	properly	reviewed	.	most	of	the	time	it	happens	with	films	that	leave	so	overwhelming	impact	,	either	good	or	bad	,	that	in	the	end	reviewers	must	work	hard	to	express	his	thoughts	or	feelings	.	but	,	sometimes	it	can	happen	for	rather	trivial	reasons	.	i	love	trouble	happened	to	be	one	of	such	occasions	for	the	author	of	this	review	.	the	impression	left	by	the	film	wasn't	overwhelming	on	the	contrary	,	there	were	hardly	any	impression	at	all	,	since	i	had	real	trouble	keeping	myself	awake	while	watching	it	.	which	surprise	me	to	this	day	,	because	the	movie	theatre	was	full	,	i	was	close	to	sound	speakers	,	the	show	wasn't	late	and	i	didn't	lack	sleep	before	the	show	.	such	things	happen	very	rarely	to	me	,	and	,	after	many	years	,	the	closest	thing	to	solution	to	this	mystery	is	probably	the	quality	of	the	film	itself	.	the	plot	revolves	around	two	rival	chicago	reporters	old	peter	brackett	(	nick	nolte	)	and	young	,	aspiring	sabrina	peterson	(	julia	roberts	)	.	two	of	them	are	assigned	to	cover	the	train	collision	.	as	soon	as	they	meet	,	they	start	scooping	each	other	,	but	during	the	process	they	both	discover	sinister	plot	involving	cancerogenic	milk	,	and	also	the	romantic	feelings	they	have	for	each	other	.	the	plot	in	this	film	is	rather	secondary	to	its	real	raison	d'tre	romantic	pairing	reminiscent	of	classical	screwball	comedies	starring	spencer	tracy	and	katharine	hepburn	.	movie	author	,	director	and	screenwriter	charles	shyer	,	who	had	some	experiences	with	turning	the	screwball	spirit	into	modern	setting	with	father	of	the	bride	,	tries	again	,	this	time	pairing	old	nick	nolte	with	young	julia	roberts	.	however	,	although	there	is	some	chemistry	between	the	two	,	soon	it	stops	to	arouse	any	interest	.	it	probably	happens	due	to	poorly	executed	genre	mix	,	that	collides	light	hearted	romantic	comedy	with	rather	uninteresting	plot	suitable	to	pure	action	thrillers	.	shyer	as	director	fails	to	make	the	proper	transition	between	the	two	,	and	fails	in	both	areas	,	making	the	story	cliched	and	predictable	.	the	end	result	is	rather	forgettable	effort	,	which	convinced	me	not	to	watch	movie	again	.	i'll	give	it	the	benefit	of	the	doubt	,	though	.
neg	as	any	reasonable	human	being	would	,	i	must	admit	that	occasionally	i	am	befuddled	by	certain	things	.	i	am	befuddled	by	fight	club	.	now	sometimes	our	favorite	films	are	panned	by	critics	and	do	not	achieve	critical	success	until	much	later	,	sometimes	as	much	as	ten	or	twenty	years	later	.	perhaps	it	is	because	these	films	are	way	ahead	of	their	time	.	perhaps	it	is	because	they	are	so	new	and	complex	that	only	after	years	of	allowing	them	to	sink	in	do	we	truly	appreciate	and	understand	them	.	fight	club	is	either	garbage	or	brilliant	,	but	,	at	least	right	now	,	i	must	lean	toward	the	former	.	maybe	i	am	subconsciously	affected	by	word	of	mouth	that	has	been	slowly	leaking	throughout	the	media	for	weeks	that	this	film	is	pure	gold	.	but	if	it	is	,	i	sure	dont	see	it	.	edward	norton	plays	jack	,	a	field	examiner	for	a	major	automobile	manufacturer	.	his	insomnia	,	coupled	with	his	compulsive	desires	to	fill	his	world	with	ikea	furniture	to	complete	himself	,	make	him	a	loser	at	the	game	of	life	.	but	when	all	of	his	worldly	possessions	are	blown	out	his	15th	story	window	,	he	seeks	comfort	in	a	stranger	,	tyler	(	pitt	)	whom	he	met	on	a	flight	home	.	once	jack	is	sucked	into	tylers	world	,	he	cant	get	out	,	literally	.	they	begin	fight	club	,	an	organization	based	on	brutal	and	bloody	fistfights	that	signify	nothing	other	than	to	provide	those	that	join	a	sense	of	belonging	.	as	the	fight	club	grows	,	things	get	out	of	control	and	take	on	cult	status	,	beginning	with	one	future	soldier	who	proves	his	worth	by	standing	still	outside	tylers	house	for	three	days	.	i	dare	not	even	begin	to	bring	up	the	last	quarter	of	the	film	,	since	that	contains	the	twist	that	explains	the	pointless	journey	.	suffice	it	to	say	i	was	truly	disappointed	in	fincher	,	whos	previous	two	films	,	se7en	and	the	game	put	him	in	a	very	slim	category	of	truly	brilliant	young	filmmakers	of	the	next	generation	.	this	is	not	to	imply	by	any	means	that	he	is	no	longer	a	genius	or	capable	of	bringing	more	masterpieces	to	the	table	.	but	with	fight	club	,	he	has	allowed	his	unique	talent	for	extraordinary	vision	to	be	distorted	by	silly	digital	experiments	and	self	referencing	film	elements	,	such	as	talking	to	the	audience	about	what	they	are	seeing	,	telling	them	that	the	little	blips	in	the	right	hand	corner	are	signifiers	that	the	projectionist	is	changing	reels	and	that	a	slightly	altered	recurring	line	is	good	flashback	humor	.	now	,	throughout	the	films	coarsely	woven	texture	and	over	extended	plot	lines	,	fight	club	is	obviously	trying	to	make	various	social	comments	about	the	state	of	the	world	today	.	advertisements	,	inter	office	politics	,	corporations	,	you	name	it	,	its	addressed	.	(	though	the	media	are	suspiciously	absent	from	the	institutions	that	are	referenced	.	)	all	of	them	play	an	important	role	.	how	so	?	well	,	i	can	kinda	just	tell	.	i	cant	really	put	my	finger	on	it	.	to	say	that	starbucks	and	barnes	noble	are	taking	over	their	respective	markets	and	kicking	out	the	small	business	owner	is	no	big	news	.	is	that	bad	for	the	world	?	probably	.	not	much	room	for	social	commentary	there	.	we	all	know	that	inter	office	politics	are	just	that	.	.	.	politics	.	so	what	was	the	point	of	all	this	?	the	film	seems	desperate	to	make	a	point	,	or	a	number	of	points	,	but	i	couldnt	figure	out	what	they	were	.	all	i	saw	was	a	very	bizarre	social	satire	that	was	woven	with	strange	film	techniques	,	a	bleak	visual	design	and	some	fine	acting	.	(	pitt	,	carter	,	norton	.	.	.	all	of	them	are	good	.	even	meatloaf	is	good	.	)	when	you	get	to	the	end	,	you	will	most	likely	be	filled	with	questions	,	many	of	which	the	filmmakers	wanted	you	to	ask	of	yourself	.	not	them	,	because	each	of	them	would	likely	give	you	a	different	answer	.	fight	club	means	what	you	want	it	to	mean	,	i	think	fincher	just	gives	you	the	stuff	to	think	about	.	but	it	couldnt	be	more	bizarre	and	unappealing	.	sure	,	it	had	shock	value	,	but	so	did	se7en	and	the	game	,	and	they	were	significantly	stronger	films	.
neg	despite	its	exceedingly	well	done	visual	effects	,	1995's	original	species	was	one	big	hunk	of	sci	fi	cheese	,	from	the	writing	to	the	feeble	performances	.	so	,	coming	from	such	b	grade	roots	,	its	sequel's	stunning	ineptitude	is	not	terribly	surprising	,	yet	at	the	same	time	it	is	.	it	would	not	have	been	difficult	at	all	for	the	people	behind	species	ii	to	top	the	hokey	original	,	yet	they	have	somehow	managed	to	fabricate	something	just	as	bad	,	if	not	even	worse	.	something	is	clearly	amiss	when	the	back	door	left	open	for	a	sequel	in	species	a	sewer	rat	becomes	not	quite	of	this	earth	after	eating	a	body	part	from	the	exploded	alien	human	hybrid	sil	is	never	entered	into	(	perhaps	that	was	left	for	species	iii	though	i'm	not	giving	away	anything	when	i	say	that	this	installment	has	an	open	back	door	of	its	own	)	.	the	alien	fun	and	games	begin	this	time	when	a	three	person	astronaut	crew	returning	from	mars	inadvertently	carries	within	their	soil	samples	deadly	alien	dna	that	eventually	infects	the	mission	captain	,	patrick	ross	(	justin	lazard	,	late	of	cbs's	short	lived	soap	of	a	few	years	back	,	central	park	west	cpw	)	.	this	alien	dna	is	not	identical	to	that	which	created	the	original	film's	sil	,	but	it's	close	enough	,	and	upon	arrival	on	earth	patrick	is	mating	like	crazy	,	engaging	in	bloody	sex	with	just	about	every	woman	he	can	find	.	meanwhile	,	scientist	dr	.	laura	baker	(	the	returning	marg	helgenberger	)	has	created	a	clone	of	sil	named	eve	(	natasha	henstridge	again	)	for	research	purposes	.	it	doesn't	take	long	for	eve	to	sense	another	alien	presence	,	which	send	her	libido	into	hyperdrive	.	it's	up	to	laura	and	her	former	partner	,	bounty	hunter	press	lennox	(	michael	madsen	,	another	returnee	)	;	and	patrick's	uninfected	shipmate	dennis	gamble	(	mykelti	williamson	)	to	find	patrick	before	the	in	heat	eve	does	.	"	this	isn't	the	x	files	,	goddammit	!	"	exclaims	one	character	in	the	early	going	.	in	terms	of	quality	,	he's	absolutely	right	,	but	he's	also	wrong	.	the	new	alien	first	appears	as	an	otherworldly	oozing	sludge	that	causes	patrick's	pupils	to	dilate	once	he's	infected	.	looks	and	sounds	an	awful	lot	like	the	x	files's	"	black	cancer	"	to	me	.	but	that's	not	the	only	source	director	peter	medak	and	writer	chris	brancato	steal	from	.	species	was	already	a	ripoff	of	alien	,	but	medak	makes	the	cribbing	much	more	blatant	than	the	original's	director	,	roger	donaldson	,	did	.	human	patrick	is	given	a	tongue	that	also	has	a	tongue	within	itself	,	and	his	alien	form	more	closely	resembles	the	alien	than	eve's	alien	body	(	which	ironically	was	designed	by	alien	designer	h	.	r	.	giger	)	.	a	large	alien	hive	that	our	heros	douse	with	a	substance	fired	from	large	guns	?	aliens	sans	flamethrowers	.	the	visual	effects	were	by	far	the	best	thing	about	species	,	and	the	sequel's	effects	crew	at	steve	johnson's	xfx	inc	.	keeps	that	high	quality	tradition	alive	;	no	cheap	looking	lost	in	space	cgi	here	.	after	the	effects	,	the	original's	best	asset	was	the	fresh	presence	of	henstridge	.	however	,	medak	and	brancato	have	no	idea	what	exactly	to	do	with	her	for	this	installment	.	at	one	point	she's	called	on	to	play	alien	"	empath	"	la	forest	whitaker	in	the	original	,	but	for	most	of	the	duration	she's	holed	up	in	a	glass	cell	.	by	the	time	the	big	breakout	so	prominently	featured	in	the	trailer	actually	takes	place	,	the	film	is	well	into	its	home	stretch	.	so	the	rest	of	the	time	we	are	treated	to	patrick	,	played	with	little	zest	by	lazard	.	one	problem	with	the	first	film	was	that	the	deadly	,	horny	,	but	innocent	at	heart	sil	was	too	sympathetic	;	no	such	problem	with	patrick	,	who	comes	off	as	a	cocky	pretty	boy	before	the	alien	takes	control	.	the	rest	of	the	cast	also	fails	to	add	much	,	but	the	writing	can	be	faulted	for	that	.	helgenberger	and	madsen	go	through	the	motions	,	but	they	are	already	hampered	by	the	clichd	development	that	somewhere	between	the	two	films	,	the	once	linked	laura	and	press	stopped	getting	along	.	williamson	suffers	the	worst	indignity	.	he	tries	his	best	to	enliven	the	token	african	american	role	,	but	how	can	anyone	recite	insulting	,	derivative	lines	such	as	"	i'm	gonna	get	african	on	someone's	ass	"	and	not	appear	ridiculous	?	but	species	ii's	worst	crime	is	being	a	thoroughly	uninteresting	piece	of	work	.	at	least	the	original	featured	plenty	to	laugh	at	unaccountably	awful	performances	by	the	otherwise	fine	actors	ben	kingsley	and	whitaker	,	and	the	sight	of	helgenberger's	character	performing	fellatio	on	madsen's	,	for	a	start	.	but	the	filmmakers	do	not	display	any	discernable	effort	at	all	,	let	alone	the	misguided	effort	that	is	required	for	something	to	reach	the	camp	level	.	for	all	the	blood	and	gore	,	nudity	,	and	sex	thrown	in	,	species	ii	is	,	quite	simply	,	a	vapid	bore	.
neg	living	out	loud	1	4	written	and	directed	by	richard	lagravenese	.	photography	,	john	bailey	.	editing	,	gregory	lynzee	klingman	.	production	design	,	nelson	coates	.	music	,	george	fenton	.	produced	by	danny	devito	,	michael	shamberg	stacey	sher	.	a	new	line	release	.	cast	:	holly	hunter	(	judith	)	,	danny	devito	(	pat	)	,	queen	latifah	(	liz	bailey	)	,	martin	donovan	(	bob	nelson	)	,	elias	koteas	(	the	kisser	)	,	richard	schiff	(	philly	)	,	et	al	.	a	new	line	release	.	102	minutes	.	r	(	language	,	drugs	,	sex	massage	)	q	:	mr	.	critic	,	i	have	some	questions	about	this	movie	.	be	patient	with	me	.	i	have	a	doctorate	from	europe	,	have	been	in	the	usa	for	some	time	and	speak	english	pretty	well	.	but	there	are	a	few	things	about	american	life	,	politics	,	and	some	movies	that	i	can't	quite	understand	.	some	expressions	too	as	editor's	note	:	the	speaker	is	foreign	born	,	therefore	he	uses	"	as	"	correctly	,	instead	of	"	like	"	when	you	put	in	your	reviews	words	like	parsimonious	,	avuncular	,	or	tropism	.	a	:	not	to	worry	.	i	have	the	same	trouble	with	finland	and	turkmenistan	.	i	promise	to	keep	things	simple	.	if	i	can't	,	i'll	put	an	asterisk	for	words	easy	to	find	in	a	dictionary	.	q	:	my	first	question	is	about	the	title	that	,	well	,	confuses	me	.	from	the	rather	funny	previews	i	thought	it	was	laughing	out	aloud	.	it	wasn't	,	and	it	wasn't	funny	either	.	a	:	i	concur	(	it	means	i	agree	with	you	)	.	i	don't	get	the	title	either	,	except	in	a	very	roundabout	way	.	q	:	how	about	the	subject	?	it	is	clear	that	holly	hunter	has	recently	divorced	after	being	married	for	16	years	to	a	cardiologist	who	must	make	good	money	.	their	apartment	is	in	an	expensive	co	op	on	fifth	avenue	.	holly	is	desperate	.	devito	,	who	plays	the	co	op's	doorman	elevator	operator	is	sad	.	long	ago	his	wife	had	kicked	him	out	.	very	recently	,	his	daughter	had	died	.	danny	likes	to	gamble	and	owes	a	lot	of	money	.	those	two	characters	have	been	seeing	each	other	for	years	,	but	without	really	seeing	.	for	the	man	,	the	lady	was	so	out	of	his	class	that	he	probably	didn't	think	of	her	.	for	the	woman	,	devito	must	have	been	like	a	piece	of	indifferent	furniture	.	but	now	they	get	together	,	become	friends	,	and	devito	falls	in	love	with	her	.	the	chance	of	her	reciprocating	(	hey	,	i	do	know	some	fancy	words	!	)	is	like	a	snowball	in	hell	(	i	also	know	some	idioms	!	)	i	don't	think	that	the	situation	is	very	original	,	except	for	the	differences	between	the	two	characters	.	i	remember	some	films	with	women	of	about	40	who	suddenly	found	themselves	alone	and	lonely	.	a	:	you're	doing	ok	.	let	me	add	something	from	real	life	and	from	movies	that	also	applies	here	:	the	cases	of	some	medical	students	that	marry	nurses	(	holly	was	and	still	is	one	)	who	work	hard	to	help	their	mates	,	but	after	the	man	becomes	a	wealthy	doctor	,	he	dumps	his	wife	for	a	younger	woman	,	as	in	this	film	.	the	script	does	not	go	into	background	details	,	however	.	what	it	implies	,	you	have	to	take	on	faith	.	and	that	is	that	holly	was	defined	by	her	husband	,	that	holly	was	not	a	whole	person	but	merely	mrs	.	cardiologist	.	so	she	finds	herself	at	loose	ends	,	mentally	,	psychologically	,	even	physically	(	note	the	sequence	with	the	masseur	,	a	hulk	)	q	:	right	.	that's	why	she	wanders	about	,	tries	to	find	herself	(	ugh	!	)	,	gets	a	massage	that	may	or	may	not	includeout	and	out	sex	.	we	don't	know	.	but	aren't	there	more	things	we	don't	know	?	a	:	lots	.	holly	has	fantasies	,	like	a	vision	of	her	suicide	.	that's	pretty	clear	.	but	other	fantasies	are	not	.	the	main	one	is	when	she	is	in	a	bar	during	amateur	night	,	looks	for	a	bathroom	,	opens	a	door	and	is	seized	by	a	man	who	kisses	her	,	then	apologizes	.	he	thought	she	was	a	woman	he	was	expecting	.	did	this	happen	?	was	it	a	figment	of	holly's	imagination	?	in	any	case	,	it	seems	to	have	done	her	some	good	.	q	:	how	about	her	enthusiasm	about	the	singer	of	that	bar	?	she	is	played	by	queen	latifah	.	i	know	that	she	is	a	rapper	who	now	also	does	"	regular	"	music	.	when	i	was	young	,	abroad	,	i	saw	many	movies	that	had	in	them	what	i	believe	you	call	torch	singers	.	here	queen	latifah	(	who	is	very	good	)	is	liz	bailey	.	i	bet	it	is	a	reference	to	pearl	bailey	(	whom	we	adored	in	europe	)	,	in	style	and	appearance	.	a	:	wish	i	had	thought	of	that	.	latifah's	somewhat	modernized	versions	of	older	songs	were	good	,	yes	.	holly's	enthusiasm	is	partly	that	phony	cliche	where	non	wasps	(	think	of	charlie	chan	)	are	endowed	with	wisdom	,	even	though	in	this	case	latifah	herself	admits	that	she	is	none	too	wise	in	her	love	life	.	q	:	were	you	interested	in	the	non	affair	between	holly	and	danny	?	i	just	could	not	get	excited	by	it	,	even	though	there	were	a	few	ok	moments	.	a	:	i	was	most	uninterested	.	those	characters	are	the	whole	movie	,	and	while	i	did	sympathize	with	their	problems	,	this	couple	is	uninteresting	.	the	movie	got	duller	and	duller	.	it	became	sighing	out	loud	as	i	kept	looking	at	my	watch	.	even	the	camera	work	was	dull	.	things	became	laughable	when	holly	took	uppers	(	this	means	feel	good	drugs	,	pills	)	and	went	to	a	nightclub	recommended	by	latifah	.
neg	1	2	1985	,	r	,	96	minutes	1	hour	,	36	minutes	drama	crime	starring	:	john	getz	(	ray	)	,	frances	mcdormand	(	abby	)	,	dan	hedaya	(	marty	)	,	m	.	emment	walsh	(	p	.	i	.	)	,	produced	by	ethan	coen	,	written	by	ethan	and	joel	coen	,	directed	by	joel	coen	.	"	blood	simple	"	acts	like	some	kind	of	genius	,	psychological	thriller	,	but	all	i	saw	was	one	of	those	b	movies	they	show	on	uhf	stations	at	3	a	.	m	.	it	is	a	fair	attempt	at	making	a	good	,	macabre	,	crime	story	,	but	not	much	works	here	.	the	story	revolves	around	some	hick	town	in	texas	where	a	young	woman	,	abby	(	mcdormand	)	,	is	cheating	on	her	husband	marty	(	hedaya	)	with	ray	,	one	of	the	bartenders	(	getz	as	ray	)	at	marty's	strip	club	.	we	don't	learn	much	about	the	affair	except	that	marty	must	be	the	typical	,	insanely	jealous	type	.	they	sleep	at	the	ray's	house	,	and	then	somewhere	else	,	but	nothing	happens	to	create	for	a	plot	.	the	story	lingers	on	events	that	are	of	absolutely	no	importance	to	the	rest	of	the	of	story	as	a	whole	.	there	is	some	dialogue	pushing	the	story	along	,	but	it	isn't	very	interesting	because	they're	not	talking	about	anything	relevant	.	marty	meets	a	generic	p	.	i	.	(	walsh	)	who	seems	too	bubbly	and	happy	compared	to	marty's	nearly	psychotic	attitude	.	the	two	characters	clash	like	polkadots	and	plaid	.	this	isn't	anything	moody	or	intense	,	it's	just	plain	dumb	and	boring	.	marty	wants	the	p	.	i	.	to	kill	abby	and	ray	,	and	so	the	p	.	i	.	stalks	the	two	,	and	forms	an	insane	obsession	with	them	.	meanwhile	,	abby	and	ray	get	their	own	apartment	in	order	to	stop	marty	from	harassing	them	,	but	suddenly	the	story	becomes	even	more	bizarre	when	the	p	.	i	.	kills	marty	.	from	here	on	the	events	are	just	too	strange	to	comprehend	.	it's	not	artistically	surrealistic	,	it's	just	typical	b	movie	trash	disguised	as	an	intricate	crime	story	.	the	characters	all	seem	to	be	going	crazy	and	there's	no	explanation	for	this	insanity	.	the	film	essentially	becomes	a	horror	flick	by	the	end	with	three	dead	bodies	and	no	reasoning	.	"	blood	simple	"	definitely	has	a	tremendous	amount	of	potential	,	but	its	organization	and	execution	are	too	bizarre	for	its	own	good	.	visit	chad'z	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	index	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	index	.	html	a
neg	michael	robbins'	hardball	is	quite	the	cinematic	achievement	.	in	about	two	hours	,	we	get	a	glancing	examination	of	ghetto	life	,	a	funeral	with	a	heartfelt	eulogy	,	speeches	about	never	giving	up	,	a	cache	of	cute	kids	(	including	a	fat	one	with	asthma	)	,	a	hard	luck	gambler	who	finds	salvation	in	a	good	woman	and	a	climactic	"	big	game	,	"	where	the	underdogs	prove	to	have	a	bigger	bite	than	anyone	ever	imagined	.	all	that's	needed	is	a	guy	getting	hit	in	the	nuts	and	a	food	fight	to	have	the	first	film	solely	based	on	cinematic	clichs	.	i	can't	wait	to	see	the	deleted	scenes	when	it	comes	out	on	dvd	.	obviously	,	hardball	is	a	strikeout	of	a	movie	that	never	gets	the	bat	anywhere	near	the	ball	.	it	stars	keanu	reeves	as	the	aforementioned	gambler	,	who	seems	to	owe	every	bookie	in	chicago	an	amount	of	money	that	rivals	the	gross	national	product	of	guam	.	out	of	solutions	,	he	begs	his	successful	corporate	friend	(	the	always	welcome	mike	mcglone	)	to	lend	him	5	,	000	.	instead	,	mcglone	offers	reeves	the	chance	to	help	him	coach	a	youth	baseball	team	from	the	projects	for	a	nice	weekly	stipend	.	reeves	,	who	wants	to	keep	his	fingers	,	accepts	the	offer	,	but	discovers	mcglone	is	only	too	happy	to	let	him	handle	the	team	entirely	.	the	drowsy	voiced	protagonist	must	teach	the	sassy	inner	city	kids	the	baseball	basics	in	a	life	of	absentee	parents	and	merciless	gangs	.	and	maybe	,	just	maybe	,	they'll	play	in	the	big	championship	game	.	one	of	the	glorious	surprises	in	the	screenplay	by	john	gatins	(	summer	catch	)	,	adapted	from	daniel	coyle's	non	fiction	book	,	is	that	there	aren't	any	.	the	movie	coasts	from	heartfelt	moment	to	heartfelt	moment	like	a	zombie	.	that	wouldn't	be	so	bad	,	if	the	characters	had	an	ounce	of	subtlety	or	humanity	to	them	.	most	of	the	kids'	time	is	spent	yelling	at	each	other	,	talking	in	slang	and	acting	surprised	.	there's	little	that's	naturally	amusing	about	them	,	as	they	all	seem	to	know	the	cameras	are	rolling	.	the	worst	of	the	lot	is	a	tough	talking	younger	player	(	dewayne	warren	)	whose	sole	purpose	,	as	the	movie	unfolds	,	is	being	an	emotional	pawn	,	a	tactic	so	utterly	despicable	i	can't	find	the	right	words	to	express	myself	.	the	adults	also	don't	fare	well	.	reeves	is	impressively	uninspiring	as	the	down	on	his	luck	loser	.	the	character	is	poorly	written	,	but	reeves	gives	another	charisma	free	performance	.	every	time	he	speaks	,	he	sounds	like	he	just	got	up	from	a	long	nap	and	is	gradually	waking	up	.	kids	are	supposed	to	rally	around	this	guy	?	diane	lane	,	who	co	stars	as	reeves'	obligatory	love	interest	,	remains	a	glowing	screen	presence	(	see	my	dog	skip	for	better	proof	)	.	it's	too	bad	that	her	role	here	consists	of	uttering	lines	like	,	"	these	kids	trust	you	,	and	they	don't	trust	anyone	!	"	then	there's	d	.	b	.	sweeney	as	an	evil	rival	coach	and	john	hawkes	as	reeves'	scummy	betting	buddy	and	other	unoriginal	characters	you've	seen	before	and	hope	never	to	see	again	.	i	wanted	hardball	to	be	good	.	robbins'	varsity	blues	was	a	funny	and	alternately	taut	tale	of	texas	high	school	football	that	had	ali	larter	smothered	in	whipped	cream	and	jon	voight	sneering	at	everything	that	moved	.	i	haven't	seen	robbins'	goofy	ready	to	rumble	in	its	entirety	,	but	i	am	intrigued	that	"	macho	man	"	randy	savage	and	martin	landau	can	exist	in	the	same	movie	without	there	being	serious	worldwide	repercussions	.	robbins	obviously	needs	to	go	back	to	his	forte	making	sports	movies	for	guys	and	not	cutesy	,	cuddly	pap	such	as	hardball	,	which	also	manages	to	annoy	and	insult	the	audience	.	here's	hoping	that	happens	in	the	immediate	future	.
neg	for	more	movie	reviews	and	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	upon	the	realization	that	they	are	failing	all	of	their	classes	,	two	roommates	try	to	find	a	third	roomie	who	will	kill	himself	,	since	the	school's	charter	automatically	grants	top	grades	to	the	roommates	of	any	student	who	succeeds	in	suicide	.	critique	:	despite	this	film's	interesting	premise	and	dark	subject	matter	,	this	movie	sucks	because	it	is	unfunny	,	boring	,	and	presents	us	with	one	of	tom	everett	scott's	worst	acting	performances	.	add	that	to	a	completely	unsuccessful	romance	element	,	many	lame	and	corny	jokes	,	a	long	wait	for	the	setup	,	and	an	ending	that	takes	all	the	blackness	out	of	this	"	black	comedy	"	(	if	you're	gonna	create	a	black	comedy	,	don't	chicken	out	in	the	end	see	very	bad	things	(	8	10	)	for	a	perfect	example	)	,	and	you've	got	yourself	a	trite	mtv	creation	worthy	of	its	own	subject	matter	.	i	barely	laughed	at	any	gags	,	found	the	bong	element	contrived	and	repetitive	,	and	was	horrified	not	to	find	any	gratuitous	nudity	tossed	anywhere	in	this	movie	(	if	you're	gonna	make	a	bad	college	comedy	,	at	least	slap	in	some	free	t	a	shots	for	the	kids	:	)	.	this	one's	not	even	worth	the	rental	,	fellas	.	skip	it	altogether	!	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	during	auditions	for	that	thing	you	do	!	,	tom	everett	scott's	first	feature	film	role	,	director	tom	hanks	was	opposed	to	hiring	tom	because	of	the	fact	that	scott	could've	passed	for	hanks	15	years	ago	.	it	wasn't	until	hanks'	wife	rita	wilson	saw	the	audition	tape	,	and	decided	he	was	cute	,	that	hanks	decided	to	risk	hiring	scott	.	the	actor	who	played	scott	cooper	in	this	film	,	mark	paul	gosselaar	,	is	best	known	for	having	played	the	character	of	zack	morris	on	tv's	"	saved	by	the	bell	"	.	his	parents	are	dutch	and	named	hans	and	paula	.	and	who	would've	guessed	that	this	is	director	alan	cohn's	first	shot	at	directing	a	feature	film	?
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	jeremiah	kipp	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	7572ca225fc21c928825692700053f91	?	opendocument	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	7572ca225fc21c928825692700053f91	?	opendocument	a	she's	a	mouthy	,	demanding	,	bratty	femme	fatale	who	always	wants	her	own	way	.	her	cuckold	is	a	slightly	goofy	young	fellow	who	hangs	on	her	every	word	and	submissively	goes	along	with	whatever	scheme	she	cooks	up	.	these	are	our	unsympathetic	heroes	in	francois	ozon's	latest	exercise	in	cinematic	shock	treatment	,	criminal	lovers	.	after	a	preliminary	scene	in	bed	where	the	girl	,	alice	(	natacha	regnier	,	unrecognizable	from	the	dreamlife	of	angels	)	,	mouths	off	to	the	boy	,	luc	(	jeremie	renier	)	,	taking	a	photograph	of	his	limp	penis	and	threatening	to	mail	it	to	his	mother	,	they	commit	a	violent	crime	.	without	fully	knowing	their	motive	,	our	title	characters	meander	into	a	high	school	shower	and	stab	their	jock	classmate	said	(	salim	kechiouche	)	.	taking	it's	cue	from	the	coen	brothers'	recently	re	released	blood	simple	,	they	proceed	to	get	rid	of	the	body	by	wiping	up	the	blood	and	dragging	the	canvas	wrapped	body	out	into	the	middle	of	the	woods	to	bury	it	.	ozon	dwells	on	their	first	major	obstacle	,	fully	observing	how	difficult	it	is	to	rid	themselves	of	the	corpse	.	thrillers	should	really	grab	you	in	the	first	fifteen	minutes	.	it's	the	crucial	time	where	we	meet	the	characters	who	you'll	be	following	for	the	duration	of	the	film	.	the	biggest	problem	with	criminal	lovers	is	that	ozon	has	created	two	characters	who	are	downright	annoying	to	be	with	for	ninety	minutes	she's	completely	obnoxious	and	rude	to	the	boy	,	berating	him	with	every	word	.	he's	a	simpering	weakling	who	sulkily	takes	it	on	the	chin	.	they're	nasty	and	dull	,	a	poor	combination	.	things	heat	up	when	they	get	lost	in	the	woods	.	before	you	can	say	"	modern	retelling	of	hansel	and	gretel	,	they're	kidnapped	by	a	natty	old	forest	hick	(	creepy	miki	manojlovic	)	who	locks	them	in	the	basement	.	what	follows	are	drawn	out	scenes	of	the	wood	ogre	demanding	that	luc	bathe	him	and	have	sex	with	him	,	just	for	starters	.	the	worst	,	of	course	,	is	yet	to	come	.	why	do	you	think	he's	fattening	luc	up	?	what	do	fairy	tale	ogres	do	to	their	victims	?	intercut	with	these	relentless	scenes	of	torture	are	flashbacks	of	high	school	as	alice	and	luc	plan	their	murder	.	far	from	illuminating	the	crime	,	they	make	it	trite	because	each	twist	involved	in	their	scheme	is	telegraphed	so	far	in	advance	through	the	obvious	dialogue	that	there's	no	satisfaction	in	those	elements	of	surprise	.	the	viewer	is	forced	to	sit	and	wait	for	the	inevitable	"	moment	of	shock	"	where	we	see	that	"	everything	is	not	what	it	seemed	to	be	.	"	a	good	hour	of	the	movie	is	devoted	to	the	ogre	and	his	child	as	they	spend	time	developing	their	sado	masochistic	relationship	while	alice	seethes	in	the	basement	demanding	food	.	you	quickly	become	used	to	the	wood	ogre	pushing	luc	around	,	and	soon	realize	that	this	is	going	to	be	the	movie	.	the	youngsters	aren't	going	to	escape	for	several	reels	,	so	we're	treated	to	long	takes	of	"	wash	my	hairy	back	"	or	"	my	turn	to	wash	your	back	.	"	since	ozon	so	clearly	wants	to	titillate	and	shock	his	audience	,	the	effect	wears	off	as	his	well	of	continuous	thrills	runs	dry	.	the	grand	finale	is	utterly	ridiculous	on	every	level	,	as	ozon	winks	and	nudges	as	the	action	takes	place	,	asking	the	audience	for	a	pat	on	the	back	to	acknowledge	how	clever	he	is	to	make	fun	of	the	lovers	engaging	in	their	moment	in	the	spotlight	.	with	his	numerous	cutaways	to	animals	peeking	in	from	the	forest	and	the	bright	,	shining	music	,	you	can	almost	hear	ozon	say	,	"	aren't	i	being	so	clever	with	my	use	of	irony	?	"	pretentious	schoolboy	drivel	.	this	is	the	type	of	movie	which	gives	"	art	house	cinema	"	a	bad	name	.
neg	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	when	i	first	saw	the	preview	for	cruel	intentions	,	i	turned	to	my	friend	and	said	,	"	dangerous	liaisons	for	kids	!	"	it	was	clear	to	me	that	the	film	would	be	an	obvious	chunk	of	plagiarized	nonsense	,	owing	everything	it	is	to	stephen	frears'	1988	masterpiece	.	imagine	my	surprise	to	see	that	writer	director	roger	kumble	has	given	credit	to	his	source	material	:	choderlos	de	laclos	is	recognized	for	his	novel	les	liaisons	dangereuses	in	the	opening	credits	.	and	i	was	impressed	.	in	fact	,	i	was	much	more	impressed	with	this	recognition	than	with	the	actual	film	,	which	is	an	appalling	excuse	for	a	movie	.	it's	kiddie	porn	hackwork	,	complete	with	earthy	sex	talk	and	fully	clothed	hand	jobs	.	i	suppose	this	kind	of	movie	was	inevitable	;	with	all	the	teen	high	school	angst	movies	coming	out	,	there	was	certainly	room	for	a	pretentious	and	laughable	movie	about	a	bunch	of	teenagers	who	think	they're	smarter	and	more	beautiful	than	all	the	other	people	on	earth	combined	.	cruel	intentions	is	a	mess	in	every	possible	way	,	and	it	fails	primarily	in	the	way	i	expected	it	to	:	i	hated	all	the	characters	,	and	i	hate	everything	they	do	.	i	also	hate	ryan	phillippe	,	so	perhaps	my	opinion	is	not	as	objective	as	it	could	be	.	phillippe	plays	(	check	out	this	name	)	sebastian	valmont	.	wow	.	isn't	that	a	memorable	name	?	i	could	just	say	it	over	and	over	again	.	sebastian	valmont	.	it	kind	of	rolls	off	the	tongue	,	in	the	spirit	of	phrases	like	sanguine	vapors	and	velvet	sandwich	.	sebastian	valmont	is	the	coolest	guy	who	ever	walked	the	earth	;	there	is	no	woman	he	can't	have	,	no	material	object	out	of	his	reach	.	he	has	all	the	money	,	all	the	sex	all	at	his	fingertips	.	and	,	luckily	,	his	parents	never	enter	into	his	life	no	,	in	the	world	of	cruel	intentions	,	adults	don't	really	exist	.	the	ones	who	do	are	irritating	.	sebastian	valmont	lives	with	his	stepsister	,	kathryn	merteuil	(	sarah	michelle	gellar	)	,	the	bitch	queen	of	the	universe	,	and	also	the	woman	every	man	wants	.	since	these	two	rich	kids	are	so	bored	,	they	only	thing	they	can	do	is	challenge	each	other	with	meaningless	sexual	liaisons	.	kathryn	wants	sebastian	valmont	to	de	virginize	cecile	caldwell	(	selma	blair	)	,	a	naive	dork	chick	who	has	somehow	wronged	kathryn	.	but	it's	too	easy	for	sebastian	valmont	he	wants	to	nail	annette	hargrove	(	reese	witherspoon	)	,	the	"	paradigm	of	chastity	and	beauty	.	"	so	,	sebastian	valmont	and	kathryn	make	a	deal	(	which	is	too	explicit	to	state	here	)	.	but	dear	god	!	sebastian	valmont	actually	begins	to	fall	for	poor	annette	hargrove	.	dangerous	liaisons	is	a	great	movie	because	the	characters	are	all	believable	,	and	because	of	its	masterful	acting	.	cruel	intentions	is	bad	for	many	reasons	,	but	it	lacks	both	believable	characters	and	masterful	acting	.	kathryn	merteuil	is	simply	a	hateful	witch	,	a	girl	so	loathsome	that	i	would	probably	enjoy	pouring	hot	lead	on	her	.	she	is	supposed	to	be	mean	,	but	glenn	close	gave	the	character	some	depth	in	dangerous	liaisons	.	gellar	,	while	aesthetically	pleasing	,	is	one	dimensional	and	utterly	repulsive	.	witherspoon	has	a	truly	beautiful	face	,	but	her	character	isn't	the	moral	staple	she's	supposed	to	be	:	sure	,	she	won't	have	sex	until	she's	in	love	(	is	this	really	a	moral	issue	?	)	,	but	she	does	some	things	in	the	last	few	scenes	that	are	more	than	a	little	reprehensible	.	but	i	can't	forget	mr	.	phillippe	,	who	continues	to	exceed	my	expectations	with	his	impenetrable	,	invulnerable	blandness	.	i	have	to	give	him	credit	and	say	that	he	did	,	in	fact	,	manage	to	change	his	facial	expression	about	three	times	during	the	course	of	cruel	intentions	.	and	there's	one	point	in	the	film	in	which	he	shouts	,	thereby	defeating	my	hypothesis	that	he	is	vocally	monotone	.	true	,	he	is	bad	,	but	it	doesn't	help	that	he	has	no	character	to	work	with	.	kumble	has	drained	all	the	interesting	aspects	from	this	character	,	leaving	us	with	a	sex	crazed	lunatic	who	is	supposed	to	be	sympathetic	because	he	falls	in	love	with	a	moral	flower	and	shuns	the	wicked	bitch	.	the	film	fails	in	every	other	way	,	too	.	first	of	all	,	nobody	talks	like	this	.	even	the	"	intellectuals	"	i	know	don't	bother	with	this	kind	of	pointless	and	pretentious	yammering	.	for	a	while	,	the	movie	looks	like	it	might	play	itself	for	laughs	,	but	it	ends	up	taking	itself	so	seriously	that	there's	no	way	we	can	join	it	.	cruel	intentions	also	manages	to	come	off	as	soft	porn	in	more	than	one	scene	.	earlier	i	mentioned	a	fully	clothed	hand	job	;	this	occurs	between	kathryn	and	sebastian	valmont	,	both	of	whom	are	intended	to	be	hateful	at	this	point	in	the	movie	.	so	,	if	we	hate	them	,	then	what's	the	point	of	an	extended	sex	scene	?	titillation	,	of	course	.	it	can't	even	work	under	the	pretense	of	"	meaningful	love	scene	,	"	because	we	hate	the	characters	.	it's	interesting	to	note	some	of	the	parallels	between	cruel	intentions	and	dangerous	liaisons	.	kumble	is	clearly	familiar	with	the	earlier	film	;	many	of	the	scenes	have	a	similar	tone	,	and	there	are	moments	in	frears'	film	that	kumble	imitates	almost	completely	(	such	as	the	last	scene	,	in	which	spoiler	warning	!	the	antagonist	is	humiliated	in	front	of	her	peers	)	.	but	kids	don't	act	like	this	.	nobody	acts	like	this	.	in	his	translation	,	roger	kumble	forgot	character	development	and	sympathy	some	pretty	crucial	elements	.	the	result	is	a	picture	of	confounding	badness	,	a	kiddie	porn	mess	that	thinks	it's	really	deep	and	profound	.	i'll	give	cruel	intentions	credit	for	realizing	its	influences	,	but	that	doesn't	change	the	fact	that	it's	awful	.
neg	this	was	the	last	carry	on	movie	(	if	you	discount	'carry	on	columbus'	as	a	carry	on	movie	)	and	was	made	by	a	new	production	company	.	based	in	central	london	,	this	movie	is	about	the	attempts	by	emmanuelle	prevert	(	suzanne	danielle	)	to	bed	her	husband	emile	the	french	ambassador	(	kenneth	williams	)	.	when	he	seems	unwilling	,	she	is	given	his	permission	to	bed	anyone	she	likes	,	such	as	the	prime	minister	and	the	u	.	s	.	ambassador	.	her	antics	get	her	into	trouble	and	the	british	press	spread	these	rumours	all	over	their	front	pages	.	she	is	invited	to	talk	on	television	to	set	the	record	straight	but	only	confirms	the	rumours	instead	.	meanwhile	,	theodore	valentine	(	larry	dann	)	is	in	love	with	emmannuelle	after	a	chance	encounter	in	the	toilet	of	the	concorde	and	is	determined	to	marry	her	.	however	,	she	is	only	interested	in	restoring	her	husband's	ardour	which	seems	a	little	difficult	after	emile's	accident	with	a	church	spire	!	this	film	is	the	second	worst	carry	on	movie	,	the	worst	being	'carry	on	england'	.	it	is	embarassing	to	see	some	of	the	remaining	regulars	struggle	through	this	diabolical	script	by	lance	peters	and	try	to	pull	off	some	of	the	crude	and	tasteless	jokes	that	he	has	written	.	newcomers	suzanne	danielle	and	beryl	reid	(	as	mrs	.	valentine	)	are	mildly	funny	,	but	larry	dann	as	theodore	is	excruciatingly	bad	.	kenneth	williams	only	appears	in	a	few	scenes	and	his	lacklustre	performance	is	warranted	,	given	the	script	.	the	small	parts	for	jack	douglas	as	lyons	the	butler	,	joan	sims	as	mrs	.	dangle	,	kenneth	connor	as	leyland	the	chauffeur	,	and	peter	butterworth	as	richmond	,	are	worthless	and	embarassing	.	in	fact	,	all	four	parts	are	surplus	to	requirements	.	however	,	the	only	humourous	scene	in	the	film	is	when	the	four	of	them	and	emmannuelle	talk	about	their	most	amourous	escapades	.	an	awful	script	,	a	terrible	collection	of	jokes	,	very	poor	production	values	(	especially	the	scene	where	emmannuelle	takes	her	clothes	off	at	st	.	james	palace	)	,	a	ludicrous	and	cringeworthy	musical	score	,	and	a	non	existent	plot	or	storyline	.	its	just	a	succession	of	awful	set	pieces	about	who	emmannuelle	will	bed	next	!	jack	douglas	is	not	so	annoying	but	is	more	boring	,	joan	sims	and	peter	butterworth	are	wasted	,	and	kenneth	connor	and	kenneth	williams	put	in	some	poor	performances	as	leyland	and	emile	.	a	complete	waste	of	time	,	this	movie	was	trying	to	catch	up	with	the	new	sexually	permissive	seventies	.	it	was	a	certificate	15	film	but	by	1978	,	there	was	little	interest	in	this	kind	of	film	and	it	flopped	at	the	box	office	and	was	only	given	its	premiere	on	uk	terrestrial	television	in	april	1998	!	avoid	at	all	costs	!
neg	a	pseudo	intellectual	film	about	the	pseudo	intellectual	world	of	art	magazines	,	high	art	is	as	wasted	as	its	drug	addled	protagonists	.	in	the	only	notable	part	of	the	movie	,	ally	sheedy	and	radha	mitchell	deliver	nice	performances	in	the	two	leading	roles	,	not	that	lisa	cholodenko's	script	or	direction	makes	you	care	much	about	either	character	.	living	in	a	world	of	heroin	induced	highs	,	they	float	along	until	they	fall	in	love	with	each	other	.	this	uninviting	picture	,	full	of	pretentious	minor	characters	,	has	a	receptionist	that	reads	dostoevski	and	a	woman	in	the	restroom	line	who	is	a	certified	genius	,	having	recently	been	awarded	a	prestigious	mcarthur	grant	.	24	year	old	syd	(	radha	mitchell	)	,	who	has	a	rather	bland	,	live	in	boyfriend	,	was	just	promoted	to	assistant	editor	at	the	artistic	photography	magazine	"	frame	.	"	although	the	receptionist	is	impressed	,	syd	is	mainly	a	gofer	for	her	boss	until	she	meets	famous	photographer	lucy	berliner	(	ally	sheedy	)	.	for	her	to	do	photos	for	"	frame	,	"	lucy	demands	that	syd	be	promoted	to	editor	and	assigned	to	her	since	lucy	fancies	her	.	lucy	lives	with	her	current	lover	,	a	washed	up	german	actress	named	greta	,	played	with	a	frequently	indecipherable	series	of	mumbles	by	patricia	clarkson	.	the	two	of	them	and	their	friends	wile	away	their	time	snorting	and	shooting	up	dope	,	usually	heroin	.	this	does	not	happen	in	a	single	episode	,	but	becomes	more	commonplace	than	sleeping	in	the	picture	.	syd	,	who	lives	in	the	apartment	below	them	,	joins	in	on	the	fun	and	becomes	a	member	of	the	zombie	club	.	lucy	seems	pretty	happy	with	her	life	of	drugs	,	which	apparently	is	funded	by	her	mother	.	lucy	quit	working	professionally	10	years	ago	since	she	thought	she	was	being	"	pigeonholed	,	"	and	,	since	her	mother	has	money	,	we	can	only	assume	that	that's	how	lucy	supports	her	habit	and	procures	her	living	expenses	.	a	typical	scene	has	the	editors	arguing	about	whether	a	potential	photographer's	work	is	transcendental	or	merely	classical	.	that	no	one	has	a	clue	as	to	the	dogma	they	are	spouting	becomes	obvious	but	not	particularly	funny	.	"	your	work	has	a	cultural	currency	that	is	important	now	,	"	is	the	artist	speak	that	the	frame's	manager	uses	to	convince	lucy	to	show	her	pictures	in	the	magazine	.	when	the	big	scene	comes	in	which	lucy	puts	the	moves	on	syd	,	her	idea	of	a	romantic	line	is	,	"	i	want	to	get	high	with	you	.	"	in	lucy's	world	,	sex	and	drugs	come	hand	in	hand	.	and	the	movie	,	except	for	the	obligatory	scene	of	someone	almost	overdosing	,	shows	drug	usage	as	being	a	hip	and	natural	part	of	the	art	scene	.	this	vacuous	picture	throws	in	a	standard	downer	ending	in	an	attempt	to	manipulate	our	emotions	.	in	another	movie	,	it	might	have	worked	,	but	in	this	one	the	reaction	is	likely	to	be	decidedly	muted	.	high	art	runs	1	:	36	.	it	is	rated	r	for	explicit	sex	,	pervasive	drug	use	and	language	and	is	not	appropriate	for	those	younger	than	college	age	.
neg	directed	by	edward	zwick	.	cast	:	denzel	washington	,	annette	bening	,	tony	shalhoub	,	bruce	willis	,	sami	bouajila	,	david	proval	,	helmi	kassim	.	1998	112	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	profanity	,	brief	nudity	,	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	november	7	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	in	1989	,	director	edward	zwick	began	his	career	with	the	powerful	civil	war	drama	,	"	glory	,	"	but	since	then	,	he	has	made	continuous	disappointments	,	to	me	at	least	,	with	1994's	"	legends	of	the	fall	,	"	and	1996's	"	courage	under	fire	.	"	those	two	films	weren't	bad	,	just	not	very	good	,	but	with	zwick's	latest	film	,	"	the	siege	,	"	he	has	finally	made	one	.	"	the	siege	,	"	is	a	modern	day	action	thriller	that	focuses	on	terrorism	that	is	sweeping	through	new	york	city	.	investigating	the	matter	is	fbi	agents	anthony	hubbard	(	denzel	washington	)	and	frank	haddad	(	tony	shalhoub	)	,	who	are	first	hit	by	the	ordeal	when	a	city	bus	explodes	with	several	innocent	people	on	it	.	later	,	a	bomb	goes	off	in	a	broadway	theater	,	killing	even	more	.	they	soon	meet	cia	operative	elise	kraft	(	annette	bening	)	,	who	may	very	well	hold	the	key	to	the	identity	of	the	arab	terrorist	.	there	are	some	movies	that	simply	don't	need	to	be	made	,	and	,	"	the	siege	"	may	very	well	be	one	of	them	.	oh	,	sure	,	zwick	thinks	he	is	making	a	"	meaningful	"	action	film	,	since	he	has	added	lots	of	exposition	scenes	in	which	the	audience	is	basically	lectured	on	the	horrors	of	terrorism	,	but	what	he	really	has	made	is	actually	no	more	substantial	than	,	say	,	"	die	hard	,	"	which	also	starred	bruce	willis	.	this	time	,	willis	is	horribly	wasted	as	a	general	of	the	u	.	s	.	army	,	who	puts	a	state	of	martial	law	over	nyc	during	the	climax	.	whatever	points	,	"	the	siege	,	"	earnestly	tried	to	make	,	were	obviously	lost	in	the	translation	from	page	to	screen	,	or	maybe	,	zwick	never	really	had	anything	serious	to	say	in	the	first	place	.	the	role	of	the	arab	community	is	offensively	stereotypical	,	just	as	women	were	in	the	recent	,	"	john	caprenter's	vampires	,	"	by	placing	them	all	in	the	category	of	"	bad	guys	.	"	"	the	siege	,	"	contains	three	fine	actors	washington	,	bening	,	and	shalhoub	but	washington	is	stuck	with	a	character	that	contains	not	an	ounce	of	even	remote	development	.	bening	has	slightly	more	to	do	,	and	has	an	intriguing	character	to	work	with	,	while	shalhoub	pretty	much	steals	the	show	,	even	though	,	again	,	he	has	no	real	character	.	by	the	climax	of	,	"	the	siege	,	"	with	washington	giving	a	sermon	to	willis	on	the	so	called	"	message	"	of	the	story	,	i	felt	like	i	had	wandered	into	a	sequel	to	,	"	on	deadly	ground	,	"	in	which	steven	seagal	gave	a	10	minute	speech	at	the	end	about	preserving	the	environment	.	"	the	siege	"	is	constantly	heavy	handed	,	not	entertaining	or	insightful	,	and	just	goes	to	prove	that	not	even	the	best	actors	can	save	a	film	that	lacks	a	satisfactory	screenplay	.
neg	"	spawn	"	may	be	somewhat	of	an	older	film	.	in	fact	it	will	probably	be	on	video	before	anyone	who	hasn't	seen	it	will	finally	get	to	see	it	(	that	is	,	if	they	see	it	)	.	but	i	managed	to	catch	it	before	it	made	it's	way	out	of	theaters	and	into	the	world	of	rentals	and	,	god	forbid	,	video	cassette	purchasing	.	it	wasn't	the	worst	film	of	year	by	any	means	.	it	isn't	even	on	the	top	5	of	the	worst	films	of	the	year	.	but	it	did	manage	to	top	the	bottom	five	of	the	bottom	ten	,	which	,	in	simpler	terms	,	means	it	comes	in	at	number	6	on	my	"	worst	of	1997	"	list	.	the	only	reason	it	doesn't	come	in	lower	is	thanks	to	the	special	effects	,	which	might	actually	have	been	some	of	the	best	of	the	year	.	performances	,	however	,	were	either	wooden	or	,	for	the	most	part	,	unforgivingly	campy	.	in	fact	,	this	film	shows	no	signs	of	attempting	to	avoid	campiness	!	even	the	editing	seemed	to	boast	a	campy	quality	.	i	don't	know	how	to	explain	that	one	;	it	wasn't	exactly	choppy	,	but	something	about	it	seemed	.	.	.	well	,	annoyingly	unprofessional	.	john	leguizamo	almost	makes	it	as	clown	,	but	not	quite	.	he	is	the	only	character	who	provides	the	audience	with	any	laughs	that	can	honestly	be	called	intentional	.	but	the	main	problem	i	found	with	"	spawn	"	,	as	with	most	films	that	wind	up	on	my	"	worst	of	"	lists	,	is	that	it	was	just	plain	boring	.	i	wouldn't	even	say	there	was	a	climax	to	the	film	.	sure	,	it	had	the	big	battle	scene	at	the	end	,	but	the	only	excitement	felt	was	that	the	movie	might	be	nearing	a	conclusion	.	never	too	soon	,	the	movie	did	conclude	in	a	very	simple	,	disappointing	way	.	even	though	it's	one	of	the	shorter	movies	i've	seen	this	year	,	it's	one	that	i	would	definitely	not	want	to	subject	myself	to	sitting	thru	again	.	like	i	said	,	the	special	effects	are	the	only	reason	that	this	film	should	have	any	sense	of	pride	,	no	matter	how	small	.	i	was	impressed	with	the	opening	sequence	,	so	long	as	i	didn't	allow	the	melodramatic	voice	over	and	lobotomizing	editing	to	get	to	me	.	and	batman	has	nothing	on	the	spectacular	visuals	spawn's	outfit	created	.	but	even	the	effects	got	tiresome	during	the	final	scenes	,	which	looked	quite	a	bit	like	a	modern	video	game	.	who	knows	if	"	spawn	:	the	video	game	"	wasn't	part	of	the	plan	from	the	beginning	?	keeping	in	mind	that	the	film	was	based	on	a	comic	book	makes	it	somewhat	more	approachable	,	and	in	a	very	small	amount	,	makes	up	for	the	cheeziness	of	it	all	.	but	none	of	this	movie's	saving	graces	can	it	make	it	something	i'd	recommend	seeing	,	no	matter	what	the	price	of	admission	.	this	movie	is	definitely	not	for	young	children	,	which	shouldn't	really	be	a	problem	seeing	as	how	only	teenagers	,	if	anyone	,	would	likely	find	it	appealing	.	if	you	really	want	to	catch	a	movie	,	there	are	many	better	ones	out	there	,	no	matter	what	your	tastes	might	be	!	trust	me	!	"	spawn	"	has	very	little	to	offer	even	the	most	avid	moviegoers	!
neg	teaching	mrs	.	tingle	(	1999	)	1	2	.	written	and	directed	by	kevin	williamson	;	photography	,	jerzy	zielinski	.	editing	,	debra	neil	fisher	.	production	design	,	naomi	shohan	.	music	,	john	frizzell	.	produced	by	cathy	konrad	.	cast	:	helen	mirren	(	mrs	.	tingle	)	,	katie	holmes	(	leigh	ann	watson	)	,	jeffrey	tambor	(	coach	wenchell	)	,	barry	watson	(	luke	churner	)	,	marisa	coughlan	(	jo	lynn	jordan	)	,	liz	stauber	(	trudie	tucker	)	,	michael	mckean	(	principal	potter	)	,	molly	ringwald	(	miss	banks	)	,	vivica	a	.	fox	(	miss	gold	)	.	a	dimension	films	release	.	93	minutes	.	pg	13	kevin	williamson's	first	feature	as	director	is	a	fizzle	.	he	has	been	one	of	the	new	,	hot	hollywood	screenwriters	since	1996	,	beginning	with	scream	(	and	later	with	scream	2	)	.	his	popular	but	puerile	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	(	1997	)	deserves	what	a	critic	(	in	,	i	think	,	time	)	wrote	about	the	1965	i	saw	what	you	did	.	his	full	review	:	"	and	i	wish	to	hell	i	hadn't	.	"	in	1998	williamson	also	created	the	tv	series	"	dawson's	creek	,	was	an	uncredited	writer	for	halloween	h20	,	and	scripted	the	faculty	.	according	to	an	ap	story	"	much	of	his	work	is	based	on	things	that	really	happened	to	him	.	"	in	particular	,	a	high	school	teacher	described	as	a	true	monster	crushed	all	his	hopes	for	becoming	a	writer	.	the	discouragement	was	repeated	in	a	college	writing	class	.	poor	kevin	!	but	at	least	and	at	last	his	deep	traumas	found	their	way	into	his	eventual	success	as	a	writer	,	and	certainly	in	his	creation	of	the	revenge	movie	teaching	mrs	.	tingle	which	centers	on	a	small	town	school's	history	teacher	from	hell	.	american	high	school	pictures	are	a	genre	with	hundreds	of	entries	,	especially	following	the	success	of	the	appealing	fast	times	at	ridgemont	high	(	1982	)	.	most	of	them	try	to	be	amusing	and	depict	students	doing	anything	except	studying	and	learning	.	in	the	light	as	well	as	in	the	few	"	serious	"	pictures	the	teachers	are	the	victims	of	their	classes	.	the	grandpa	of	such	works	may	be	the	famous	the	blackboard	jungle	(	1955	)	whose	screening	at	the	cannes	festival	brought	out	protests	by	americans	because	"	of	the	bad	name	it	gave	u	.	s	.	schools	.	"	teaching	mrs	.	tingle	turns	the	tables	on	most	high	school	films	,	as	mrs	.	t	.	,	a	martinet	and	a	tyrant	,	is	the	persecutor	of	the	kids	.	the	title	was	originally	killing	mrs	.	tingle	,	but	given	the	increasing	rash	of	real	life	school	killings	,	it	was	changed	.	there	may	be	a	loss	of	audience	among	some	amateurs	of	teacher	murder	,	but	since	there	are	no	corpses	in	the	film	,	"	teaching	"	is	a	better	title	and	has	the	benefit	of	catchy	alliteration	.	yet	even	then	,	the	name	tingle	sends	the	wrong	message	.	it	would	have	been	fine	if	it	evoked	someone	who	does	things	to	you	,	such	as	appeal	or	titillation	.	on	the	other	hand	,	could	this	be	an	attempt	at	irony	,	which	is	something	that	mrs	.	t	likes	to	define	,	and	to	dispense	nastily	and	sarcastically	to	all	:	students	,	staff	,	colleagues	,	administrators	and	most	likely	to	grocery	clerks	,	waiters	,	salespeople	and	everybody	else	.	worse	yet	,	she's	a	master	of	put	downs	which	inevitably	make	all	wilt	in	her	presence	and	all	hate	her	.	she	even	uses	her	unpleasantness	to	get	her	wishes	via	innuendoes	,	as	when	she	blackmails	the	principal	whose	secret	(	he's	in	alcoholics	anonymous	)	she	knows	.	the	story	.	graduating	leigh	ann	watson	(	katie	holmes	)	is	the	top	candidate	for	valedictorian	.	all	she	needs	is	another	a	,	which	will	get	her	a	college	scholarship	indispensable	,	since	her	mother	(	a	single	)	does	not	have	the	means	to	pay	tuition	.	the	girl	slaves	over	a	first	rate	project	for	her	history	class	which	she	presents	to	mrs	.	tingle	.	probably	jealous	of	leigh's	looks	and	promising	future	,	and	,	as	later	revealed	,	frustrated	by	her	own	life	(	she	was	herself	a	student	in	that	school	and	had	been	unable	to	leave	that	small	town	)	,	mrs	t	deprecates	the	project	and	gives	leigh	a	grade	of	c	.	desperate	leigh	and	her	best	friend	marisa	(	a	lively	actress	wannabe	)	,	run	into	classmate	barry	,	a	good	looking	slacker	on	whom	marisa	has	a	crush	.	he	has	just	gotten	an	illegal	copy	of	the	history	final	.	horrified	,	leigh	takes	it	away	from	him	,	puts	it	in	her	bag	.	in	one	of	the	first	artificial	developments	of	the	movie	,	mrs	.	t	walks	in	,	somehow	spots	the	exam	,	and	guarantees	expulsion	for	leigh	.	the	youngsters	,	trying	vainly	to	explain	leigh's	innocence	,	have	to	resort	to	a	visit	to	mrs	.	t's	home	but	the	teacher	,	considering	them	as	invaders	,	throws	them	out	.	and	here	begin	a	dumb	,	dull	,	unreal	chain	of	events	that	do	not	deserve	analysis	.	fake	semi	climaxes	follow	one	another	.	the	status	of	the	kids	goes	from	bad	to	worse	after	they	tie	mrs	.	t	to	her	bed	.	for	three	(	i	believe	,	but	who	cares	?	)	days	,	during	which	mrs	.	t	gets	fed	but	never	goes	to	the	bathroom	.	involved	,	among	other	artifacts	and	events	are	a	crossbow	(	sic	)	,	the	loss	of	leigh's	presumed	virginity	,	and	a	visit	by	mrs	.	t's	secret	lover	,	or	at	least	sex	partner	.	he	goes	by	the	nickname	spanky	,	which	gives	you	a	clue	about	the	couple's	activities	.	the	man	is	an	awfully	unlikely	a	choice	.	i	will	not	reveal	who	plays	him	except	that	it	's	a	waste	of	an	actor	who	has	been	marvelous	on	cable	tv	.	the	movie	is	a	waste	of	the	audience's	time	and	of	the	performers'	abilities	,	including	molly	ringwald	.	she	has	been	relegated	to	a	tiny	,	innocuous	part	as	office	help	and	substitute	teacher	.	michael	mckean	,	that	superbly	versatile	actor	of	film	(	coneheads	,	etc	.	,	etc	.	)	and	tv	(	brian	benben's	aussie	boss	in	hbo's	dream	on	)	has	a	mere	cameo	,	which	cries	out	for	expansion	.	otherwise	,	the	movie	belongs	entirely	to	ms	mirren	.	england's	helen	mirren	has	been	on	much	tv	and	many	films	for	decades	.	she	is	a	great	actress	who	,	in	the	usa	at	least	,	in	spite	of	dozens	of	movies	in	which	she	held	main	or	supporting	roles	,	is	far	from	a	household	name	.	the	reasons	?	she	is	a	mature	woman	and	not	the	regulation	gorgeous	chick	.	not	all	of	her	films	have	been	displayed	,	and	if	so	,	insufficiently	.	many	of	the	best	were	specialty	"	art	"	items	:	the	long	good	friday	,	cal	,	pascali's	island	,	the	cook	the	thief	his	wife	and	her	lover	,	some	mother's	son	,	and	others	.	she	eventually	acquired	some	name	recognition	through	the	madness	of	king	george	and	the	several	prime	suspect	tv	series	(	as	detective	,	then	superintendent	jane	tennison	)	her	mrs	.	tingle	showcases	her	talent	.	not	only	as	a	demonic	teacher	,	but	as	a	diabolical	captive	who	manipulates	her	captors	with	speech	while	tied	to	her	bed	.	proud	,	coaxing	,	menacing	,	scheming	,	attempting	to	disunite	the	youngsters	,	and	eventually	pathetic	,	she	does	not	merely	steal	the	show	,	she	is	the	show	.	but	even	ms	mirren	cannot	save	this	concoction	where	contrived	drama	and	would	be	humor	co	exist	without	ever	hitting	their	marks	.
neg	warning	the	following	review	contains	spoilers	cast	:	gary	sinise	,	don	cheadle	,	connie	nielsen	,	jerry	o'connell	,	kim	delaney	,	tim	robbins	,	elise	neal	,	jill	teed	,	jody	thompson	,	bill	timoney	written	by	:	jim	thomas	,	john	thomas	and	graham	yost	directed	by	:	brian	depalma	running	time	:	115	minutes	the	first	big	event	movie	of	2000	turns	out	to	be	anything	but	.	gary	sinise	stars	as	an	astronaut	who	is	removed	from	a	mars	mission	when	his	astronaut	wife	,	maggie	(	kim	delaney	)	,	becomes	ill	and	passes	away	.	don	cheadle	is	then	given	the	mission	along	with	a	russian	couple	and	a	young	hotshot	.	when	a	strange	whirlwind	shot	from	the	top	of	a	mars	mountain	range	attacks	the	crew	of	the	mission	,	sinise	and	robbins	convince	their	superior	to	let	them	,	neilsen	,	and	o'connell	perform	a	rescue	mission	for	whatever	crew	might	be	remaining	.	what	they	discover	on	the	surface	of	the	planet	will	dramatically	change	their	lives	forever	(	although	no	one	watching	the	film	will	come	away	profoundly	affected	)	.	before	i	ever	saw	the	film	,	i	was	aware	of	the	promotional	campaign	with	dr	.	pepper	.	every	time	i	would	see	a	bottle	of	the	soft	drink	,	the	mission	to	mars	logo	was	emblazoned	upon	it	.	little	did	i	know	that	the	plot	would	be	taking	a	back	seat	to	the	product	placement	of	the	drink	and	several	other	products	.	dr	.	pepper	saves	the	day	at	one	point	,	and	a	dream	sequence	flashback	features	jerry	o'connell	shoving	m	m's	in	our	face	.	these	are	but	a	couple	of	the	ridiculous	examples	of	product	placement	scattered	throughout	the	film	.	clichs	are	also	the	order	of	the	day	with	mission	to	mars	.	dialogue	and	character	motivations	are	all	lifted	directly	from	countless	other	science	fiction	films	that	have	all	done	it	better	and	with	more	style	(	even	independence	day	,	which	lifted	all	of	it's	premises	from	other	sci	fi	films	was	better	than	this	film	,	and	i	don't	like	independence	day	)	.	films	like	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	,	the	abyss	,	and	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	are	all	blatantly	stolen	from	(	and	poorly	at	that	)	.	there	is	even	a	sequence	where	a	rover	is	traveling	through	a	canyon	,	and	i	couldn't	help	but	whisper	"	u'tinni	"	to	myself	and	wait	for	a	jawa	to	quickly	hide	in	the	rocks	before	the	rover	could	get	a	glimpse	of	it	.	this	film	also	features	one	of	my	all	time	least	favorite	movie	clichs	:	the	"	he	would	have	wanted	you	to	have	this	"	moment	,	where	one	character	gives	another	a	trinket	that	yet	another	character	is	established	as	constantly	having	(	and	is	usually	made	fun	of	by	the	character	who	ends	up	getting	all	sappy	over	it	later	on	)	.	scenes	like	these	always	bother	me	when	they	come	out	of	nowhere	in	regular	films	,	but	in	a	film	as	clich	ridden	as	this	,	it	is	particularly	irritating	.	ennio	morricone's	music	is	usually	considered	to	be	some	of	the	best	stuff	in	the	projects	he	works	on	,	but	here	it	is	dreadfully	overbearing	.	his	music	sounds	like	it	came	straight	out	of	a	vincent	price	movie	in	certain	scenes	.	at	other	times	his	music	is	unbearably	over	dramatic	.	one	sequence	involving	a	daring	spacewalk	rescue	is	given	a	particularly	cheesy	sting	when	it	is	discovered	that	the	grappling	hook	device	used	for	the	rescue	won't	reach	its	intended	target	.	mission	to	mars	is	push	button	filmmaking	to	the	greatest	extreme	.	events	are	set	into	motion	that	are	obvious	to	anyone	who	has	ever	seen	a	movie	and	seem	like	they	are	just	there	to	evoke	an	emotional	response	in	the	audience	.	we	are	apparently	supposed	to	be	upset	that	tim	robbins	character	removes	his	helmet	in	deep	space	and	kills	himself	to	save	his	wife	,	but	i	felt	extreme	boredom	coupled	with	a	twinge	of	disinterest	.	what	makes	it	all	worse	is	that	fact	that	there	is	no	real	reason	that	robbins'	character	needs	to	turn	himself	into	a	popsicle	,	except	to	invoke	an	emotional	response	(	i	could	think	of	at	least	one	way	to	save	him	,	and	the	nasa	clowns	in	this	film	are	supposed	to	be	"	smarter	"	than	i	am	)	.	during	the	finale	,	when	we	are	finally	introduced	to	the	translucent	,	conehead	,	kitty	faced	aliens	that	we	ostensibly	sprung	from	,	we	are	presented	with	some	of	the	most	ridiculously	cartoonish	cgi	ever	put	to	film	(	just	slightly	worse	than	the	plane	crash	at	the	end	of	air	force	one	or	the	hell	scenes	in	spawn	)	.	a	brief	history	lesson	about	"	where	we	came	from	"	is	proffered	,	then	sinise	is	whisked	away	to	be	with	"	the	rest	of	our	people	"	(	he	does	this	because	his	late	wife	proclaims	in	a	video	he	watches	early	on	that	"	this	is	a	chance	to	step	foot	where	no	one	else	has	"	)	.	from	the	press	i've	been	seeing	this	film	receive	,	it	is	apparent	that	mission	to	mars	will	be	dying	a	quick	death	at	the	theater	.	i'm	sure	the	first	weekend	or	two	will	be	huge	,	but	once	word	gets	out	people	will	stop	going	.	let's	just	hope	the	upcoming	red	planet	is	better	than	this	and	isn't	hurt	by	the	negativity	this	film	is	generating	.	i'd	venture	to	say	it	won't	be	worse	than	this	waste	of	time	.	pg	reviewed	by	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	directed	by	sidney	lumet	.	cast	:	sharon	stone	,	jean	luke	figueroa	,	jeremy	northam	,	mike	starr	,	george	c	.	scott	,	bonnie	bedelia	,	cathy	moriarty	,	sarita	choudhury	.	1999	105	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	violence	and	profanity	)	.	reviewed	january	23	,	1999	.	one	of	the	most	blatantly	obvious	signs	that	often	acclaimed	director	sidney	lumet's	"	gloria	,	"	a	remake	of	the	1980	john	cassavetes	film	,	had	absolutely	no	effect	on	me	occurred	when	i	was	driving	home	from	the	theatre	.	suddenly	,	i	realized	that	since	i	had	stood	up	from	my	theatre	seat	five	minutes	before	,	i	had	not	thought	once	about	the	film	i	had	just	invested	nearly	two	hours	of	my	life	in	.	when	a	movie	is	over	,	aren't	we	supposed	to	think	about	it	for	a	while	,	and	have	a	conversation	about	it	with	the	acquaintances	we	have	just	watched	it	with	?	i	thought	so	,	but	,	for	one	,	i	saw	this	particular	picture	by	myself	,	and	2	,	even	if	i	had	been	with	someone	there	wouldn't	have	been	anything	to	talk	about	in	the	first	place	.	to	be	sure	,	"	gloria	"	begins	with	a	stirring	,	rather	poignant	prologue	in	which	a	seven	year	old	boy's	family	is	brutally	gunned	down	by	mobsters	,	in	search	of	a	disc	his	father	had	with	incriminating	evidence	on	it	.	right	before	the	men	broke	in	,	of	course	,	his	father	gave	him	the	disc	to	escape	with	.	eventually	,	the	boy	,	named	nicky	nunez	(	jean	luke	figueroa	)	,	is	caught	by	the	mobsters	,	and	taken	back	to	their	apartment	.	meanwhile	,	gloria	(	sharon	stone	)	has	just	gotten	out	of	prison	for	a	crime	she	didn't	commit	and	returns	to	her	ex	boyfriend	(	jeremy	northam	)	to	recieve	the	money	he	promised	her	for	covering	up	his	crime	.	when	he	refuses	to	give	it	to	her	,	and	then	hears	the	group	of	men	talking	about	killing	nicky	,	she	leaves	with	him	in	order	to	save	his	life	,	but	not	before	holding	the	men	at	gunpoint	,	stealing	all	of	their	money	,	and	forcing	them	to	strip	nude	.	gloria	is	the	type	of	fast	talking	,	smart	mouthed	new	yorker	who	always	seems	to	get	involved	with	the	wrong	people	,	and	she	never	expected	to	be	stuck	with	a	kid	,	but	she	has	a	heart	of	gold	(	don't	they	always	in	this	type	of	movie	)	and	is	only	trying	to	protect	the	boy	,	whom	she	quickly	begins	to	form	a	close	bond	with	.	the	previous	incarnation	of	"	gloria	"	by	cassavetes	and	starring	the	luminous	gena	rowlands	,	remains	unseen	by	me	,	but	was	no	doubt	superior	,	even	though	i	can't	really	imagine	how	this	considerably	dull	story	could	be	transformed	into	an	entertaining	one	,	regardless	of	the	director	or	stars	.	there	is	no	doubt	in	my	mind	that	director	lumet	has	stuck	closely	to	the	original	,	but	the	film	itself	is	simply	lifeless	,	with	only	an	occasional	laugh	popping	up	here	and	there	so	that	it	isn't	completely	unbearable	to	watch	.	i	liked	,	for	example	,	a	very	funny	climactic	sequence	where	gloria	is	deciding	whether	to	leave	the	school	she	has	left	the	boy	at	,	and	keeps	turning	the	car	around	,	then	driving	a	little	ways	,	then	slamming	on	the	brakes	and	turning	around	again	.	these	bright	moments	,	however	,	appear	long	and	far	between	,	and	the	majority	of	the	film	deals	with	the	budding	relationship	between	nicky	and	gloria	,	which	is	both	painfully	predictable	and	by	the	numbers	.	throughout	,	my	mind	was	repeatedly	asking	the	question	,	"	who	really	cares	?	"	as	gloria	,	sharon	stone	has	adopted	an	over	the	top	brooklyn	accent	that	honestly	doesn't	sound	realistic	at	all	.	in	the	beginning	,	in	fact	,	i	was	amazed	at	how	amateurish	stone's	performance	was	,	but	as	the	film	progressed	she	got	better	.	although	not	one	of	her	better	turns	,	stone	does	have	a	comic	flare	that	refuses	to	be	ignored	.	jean	luke	figeroa	was	fine	as	nicky	and	a	little	more	natural	than	the	usual	child	actors	who	are	so	precocious	they	make	you	want	to	gag	.	all	other	actors	who	appeared	were	considerably	wasted	,	none	more	than	cathy	moriarty	,	an	entertaining	actress	in	her	own	right	,	who	is	billed	fourth	and	has	all	of	one	scene	,	as	gloria's	friend	whom	she	turns	to	for	help	.	sony	,	the	studio	that	released	"	gloria	,	"	obviously	does	not	have	any	faith	in	the	film	,	and	i	don't	blame	them	.	they	declined	to	screen	the	picture	for	critics	,	which	is	never	a	good	sign	,	particularly	with	the	high	profile	people	involved	.	although	how	much	money	a	movie	makes	does	not	determine	how	good	it	is	(	just	look	at	the	spectacular	"	in	dreams	,	"	which	failed	to	even	make	the	top	10	last	week	)	,	i	have	a	suspicion	"	gloria	"	is	going	to	vanish	from	theaters	faster	than	"	ishtar	,	"	judging	from	the	opening	night	7	:	00	p	.	m	.	showing	i	saw	it	at	,	where	there	were	about	ten	to	fifteen	people	present	,	counting	myself	.	although	stone	can	be	an	impressive	actress	(	just	watch	her	in	1995's	"	casino	"	or	1996's	"	last	dance	"	if	you	don't	believe	me	)	and	sidney	lumet	can	be	a	respectable	director	,	there	is	no	reasoning	for	why	they	thought	the	cliched	story	of	"	gloria	"	was	worth	remaking	or	,	for	that	matter	,	why	columbia	pictures	agreed	to	finance	it	when	they	could	have	been	making	a	picture	that	actually	looked	like	it	might	have	an	inkling	of	a	chance	to	be	successful	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	haven	a
neg	after	seeing	blaze	and	driving	miss	daisy	,	i	was	ready	for	some	mindless	fun	oh	,	maybe	something	like	tango	cash	.	maybe	not	!	mindless	fun	is	one	thing	,	but	brain	dead	slop	is	another	matter	altogether	.	tango	cash	has	"	lowest	common	denominator	"	written	all	over	it	.	the	movie	stars	sylvester	stallone	and	kurt	russell	as	rival	undercover	cops	in	l	.	a	.	russell	plays	cash	,	a	reckless	slob	who	dresses	in	jeans	and	tee	shirts	.	stallone	plays	tango	,	a	wealthy	investor	who	works	on	the	force	strictly	for	the	thrill	of	it	;	he	doesn't	need	the	money	.	in	an	effort	to	change	his	image	,	stallone	goes	for	a	yuppie	,	gq	look	in	the	film	,	wearing	spectacles	and	three	piece	suits	.	the	two	detectives	reluctantly	become	partners	after	they	are	framed	for	murder	and	have	to	break	out	of	prison	to	clear	their	names	.	tango	cash	is	unbearably	noisy	.	for	starters	,	there's	harold	faltermeyer's	annoying	synthesized	score	,	which	gets	old	after	four	notes	.	to	make	matters	worse	,	the	filmmakers	seem	to	think	that	when	it	comes	to	loud	explosions	and	screeching	cars	,	the	more	the	merrier	.	in	fact	,	the	movie	begins	with	not	one	but	two	car	chases	.	there's	nothing	like	a	good	old	car	chase	to	introduce	the	characters	in	a	movie	.	screenwriter	randy	feldman's	brain	must	have	gone	to	mush	from	watching	too	many	cop	shows	on	tv	.	his	shockingly	stupid	screenplay	undermines	anything	and	everything	the	movie	has	going	for	it	,	such	as	stallone's	efforts	to	convince	you	that	tango	is	an	intellectual	.	in	a	movie	with	the	iq	level	of	an	amoeba	,	even	a	great	actor	is	going	to	have	trouble	looking	intelligent	and	stallone	is	no	lawrence	olivier	.	it's	hard	to	imagine	anyone	reading	feldman's	script	and	thinking	,	"	i	want	to	be	in	this	movie	.	"	the	film's	plot	doesn't	have	one	original	bone	in	its	body	,	and	again	you	have	to	point	your	finger	at	the	screenwriting	.	feldman's	story	line	succumbs	to	every	crime	thriller	cliche	in	the	book	,	making	tango	cash	altogether	generic	and	predictable	.	they	simply	could	have	called	it	"	action	movie	.	"	every	character	,	every	twist	and	turn	,	is	stolen	from	television	or	from	other	movies	.	adding	insult	to	injury	,	tango	cash	is	about	as	believable	as	a	"	road	runner	"	cartoon	.	action	movies	don't	have	to	be	realistic	,	but	they	should	absorb	you	enough	so	that	you're	not	thinking	about	the	lack	of	realism	.	the	only	artistic	aspect	of	tango	cash	is	the	cinematography	.	there	are	some	spectacular	shots	,	especially	during	the	rainy	nighttime	prison	break	in	which	tango	and	cash	slide	to	safety	on	electrical	wires	.	the	film's	main	draw	is	the	chemistry	between	stallone	and	russell	.	unfortunately	,	their	relationship	rarely	progresses	past	macho	competition	as	they	endlessly	bicker	about	who	packs	more	meat	in	his	pants	.	the	dialogue	consists	of	nothing	but	one	liners	,	and	consequently	the	attempts	at	character	development	are	embarrassing	.	it's	a	shame	because	with	a	workable	screenplay	,	russell	and	stallone	could	have	turned	tango	cash	into	a	charming	"	lethal	weaponesque	"	adventure	.	tango	cash	tries	to	maintain	a	light	tone	,	and	you	do	laugh	about	once	every	five	minutes	.	seeing	russell	in	drag	is	the	movie's	funniest	moment	,	but	you	probably	already	have	seen	it	in	the	commercials	.	furthermore	,	the	light	tone	does	not	sit	well	against	the	relentlessly	brutal	violence	.	machine	guns	and	torture	generally	don't	mix	well	with	comedy	.	jack	palance	appears	in	tango	cash	doing	what	he	does	best	:	playing	a	sleazy	,	conniving	villain	.	his	character	,	however	,	is	run	of	the	mill	,	except	for	his	strange	obsession	with	mice	.	like	many	movie	villains	,	palance	likes	to	play	games	.	in	fact	,	he	sets	a	ridiculously	elaborate	trap	for	tango	and	cash	,	a	trap	which	sends	the	two	detectives	to	prison	so	they	can	be	beaten	and	electrocuted	by	some	meanies	in	the	boiler	room	.	you	have	to	wonder	why	palance	doesn't	just	shoot	the	detectives	in	the	head	!	the	story	would	crumble	if	any	of	the	characters	were	to	do	anything	intelligent	.	teri	hatcher	plays	stallone's	sister	and	russell's	love	interest	,	and	she	is	just	as	pretty	as	can	be	.	but	regrettably	,	hatcher's	acting	is	not	on	par	with	her	exceptional	beauty	.	every	time	she	opens	her	mouth	,	you	cringe	;	corny	dialogue	and	atrocious	acting	are	always	a	fatal	combination	.	there's	really	very	little	,	if	anything	,	to	recommend	in	the	film	.	and	,	more	to	the	point	,	tango	definitely	isn't	worth	a	penny	of	your	cash	so	don't	bother	.
neg	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critic's	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	alexandre	dumas	,	the	novelist	who	wrote	'the	three	musketeers'	in	the	19th	century	would	be	spinning	in	his	grave	if	he	knew	that	the	only	frenchman	in	1998's	'the	man	in	the	iron	mask'	would	have	the	weakest	role	.	also	written	in	the	19th	century	by	dumas	,	'the	man	in	the	iron	mask'	was	put	into	print	after	'the	three	musketeers'	and	it	,	along	with	'the	three	musketeers'	,	actually	contains	four	heroes	:	athos	,	porthos	,	aramis	and	d'artagnan	.	they	are	portrayed	in	this	version	of	'the	man	in	the	iron	mask'	by	john	malkovich	,	gerard	depardieu	,	jeremy	irons	and	gabriel	byrne	.	set	in	1662	,	their	king	,	louis	xiv	of	france	(	leonardo	dicaprio	)	,	is	a	tyrant	,	watching	his	people	starve	while	he	lives	in	the	seductive	life	of	luxury	,	and	is	a	true	law	unto	himself	.	there	have	been	many	versions	of	both	'the	three	musketeers'	and	'the	man	in	the	iron	mask'	produced	for	film	and	television	and	this	one	has	to	ranks	in	the	much	lower	half	of	all	that	has	been	accomplished	.	the	musketeers	are	defenders	of	the	french	crown	,	a	high	powered	army	of	loyal	soldiers	who	possess	a	talent	to	wield	a	sword	better	than	anyone	to	protect	their	sovereign	ruler	.	d'artagnan	(	byrne	)	,	is	the	most	loyal	and	says	he	will	not	betray	his	king	,	no	matter	how	ruthless	his	methods	are	,	somehow	hoping	his	majesty	will	become	a	better	man	.	athos	,	porthos	and	aramis	are	past	their	prime	and	have	retired	to	a	more	quiet	life	and	decide	to	replace	the	king	with	his	twin	brother	,	the	man	in	the	iron	mask	who	the	king	perceives	as	a	threat	to	his	power	.	they	are	motivated	to	overthrow	the	king	when	one	of	them	is	unknowingly	deemed	to	be	a	suspicious	traitor	to	the	crown	.	leonardo	dicaprio	and	the	rest	of	the	cast	are	convincing	in	their	roles	,	despite	speaking	english	and	containing	no	french	accents	whatsoever	,	except	for	depardieu	,	but	his	role	is	the	weakest	and	most	clownish	in	the	film	.	malkovich	is	miscast	as	he	was	in	the	1988	period	piece	'dangerous	liaisons'	and	why	an	englishman	,	complete	with	an	accent	to	boot	(	irons	)	would	be	asked	to	play	in	this	is	a	mystery	.	but	their	professional	dedication	to	their	roles	make	it	work	and	dicaprio	is	believable	as	both	the	king	and	his	more	decent	twin	.	the	real	problem	with	the	film	is	that	by	concentrating	solely	on	the	dramatic	set	up	of	the	first	90	minutes	or	so	,	the	finished	product	,	at	a	little	over	two	hours	,	comes	off	as	relatively	lifeless	and	rather	stiffly	written	instead	of	sophisticated	and	high	brow	,	as	it	should	be	.	written	and	directed	by	randall	wallace	who	wrote	director	mel	gibson's	1995	oscar	winner	'braveheart'	,	wallace	shows	he	has	no	talent	as	a	director	and	his	attention	to	detail	is	pretty	superficial	.	the	costumes	in	'the	man	in	the	iron	mask'	are	noticeably	"	costume	shop	"	in	their	appearance	and	the	art	direction	and	sets	are	perhaps	the	only	saving	grace	,	technically	.	teenage	girls	are	sure	to	enjoy	watching	dicaprio	in	his	first	role	since	'titanic'	but	one	misfired	scene	has	dicaprio	standing	still	in	a	room	with	his	long	hair	,	and	some	of	it	is	draped	over	his	face	and	with	his	attire	,	it	just	looks	too	feminine	.	i	was	imagining	ear	rings	on	him	at	that	moment	and	it	actually	seemed	funny	.	something	that	i'm	sure	wasn't	intended	and	it	shouldn't	have	been	allowed	to	happen	.	dicaprio's	hair	in	many	scenes	with	his	female	companions	actually	looks	longer	than	theirs	does	.	perhaps	appropriate	,	but	it	just	seems	that	someone	should	have	reminded	director	randall	wallace	that	the	film	is	set	in	the	1660's	and	not	the	1960's	.	peace	.
neg	cast	:	chris	o'donnell	,	renee	zellweger	,	hal	holbrook	,	james	cromwell	,	artie	lange	,	edward	asner	,	sarah	silverman	,	jennifer	esposito	,	peter	ustinov	,	mariah	carey	,	brooke	shields	written	by	:	steve	cohen	directed	by	:	gary	sinyor	running	time	:	101	minutes	one	of	the	contributors	to	the	destruction	of	the	batman	film	franchise	chris	o'donnell	stars	in	this	remake	of	buster	keaton's	1925	silent	film	seven	chances	.	now	i've	never	seen	seven	chances	,	as	i'm	more	of	a	chaplin	fan	than	a	keaton	fan	,	but	i	seriously	doubt	that	the	classic	version	could	be	as	insipid	as	this	.	o'donnell	plays	jimmie	shannon	,	the	manager	of	a	pool	table	manufacturing	company	.	he	also	fears	commitment	,	and	despite	dating	anne	(	renee	zellweger	)	for	over	three	years	,	he's	unwilling	to	marry	her	.	his	reasons	?	well	he's	a	guy	you	see	,	and	well	,	guys	are	like	stallions	,	and	they	apparently	don't	like	to	be	roped	or	something	(	hey	,	that's	the	movie's	explanation	.	.	.	i'd	marry	renee	zellweger	in	a	second	)	.	eventually	it	comes	time	for	jimmie	to	propose	,	and	when	he	does	,	it's	the	most	absurd	proposal	ever	uttered	by	a	man	ever	.	he	essentially	says	to	her	,	"	you	win	"	and	hands	her	a	ring	.	the	audience	should	now	hate	this	character	.	i	did	.	then	the	meat	of	the	plot	presents	itself	.	jimmie's	grandfather	(	peter	ustinov	,	completely	wasted	)	dies	and	leaves	jimmie	his	entire	estate	of	100	million	dollars	as	well	as	ownership	of	the	pool	table	business	.	however	,	in	order	to	get	the	money	and	save	the	jobs	of	the	factory	workers	,	jimmie	must	be	married	before	his	next	birthday	(	which	is	just	over	24	hours	away	)	.	having	blown	his	chances	with	anne	,	jimmie	proceeds	to	track	down	all	his	prior	girlfriends	and	suggest	a	"	business	proposition	"	.	the	movie	wasn't	half	bad	by	this	time	,	surprisingly	.	it	wasn't	boring	me	,	and	even	managed	to	read	my	thoughts	at	one	point	.	ustinov's	character	left	a	video	will	,	and	while	he's	reading	the	ridiculous	clause	in	it	,	i	thought	to	myself	"	what	is	this	,	brewster's	millions	?	"	.	as	soon	as	i	thought	it	,	hal	holbrook's	character	actually	says	"	what	is	this	,	brewster's	millions	?	"	it	was	quite	surreal	.	something	happens	though	during	the	film's	final	act	that	caused	me	to	sharply	drop	the	rating	it	was	going	to	receive	.	up	to	that	point	,	all	of	jimmie's	prior	girlfriends	had	turned	down	his	"	business	proposition	"	which	i	felt	was	good	.	at	least	the	film	wasn't	painting	women	to	be	cold	hearted	gold	diggers	.	when	jimmie	has	no	other	options	,	his	goofy	friend	(	played	by	artie	lange	,	making	a	career	out	of	playing	the	goofy	friend	)	places	an	ad	in	the	newspaper	that	somehow	becomes	a	front	page	story	.	at	this	point	,	100	,	000	women	don	wedding	gowns	and	head	off	to	persuade	jimmie	to	pick	them	to	be	his	bride	.	these	women	arrive	at	jimmie's	location	and	immediately	start	bullying	him	about	what	he's	looking	for	in	a	woman	.	when	he's	had	enough	of	their	unjustified	attacks	,	he	tells	the	angry	mob	that	there's	been	a	mistake	and	he	won't	be	marrying	any	of	them	.	as	a	result	,	the	women	proceed	to	chase	him	around	the	city	,	in	hopes	of	catching	him	and	tearing	his	limbs	off	.	this	goes	on	for	the	rest	of	the	film	.	it's	just	chris	o'donnell	running	from	100	,	000	obnoxious	,	greedy	,	angry	and	stupid	women	.	my	groans	of	disgust	could	be	heard	for	miles	.	the	film	finally	ended	(	thankfully	)	,	but	to	this	day	i'm	still	groaning	.	the	bachelor	is	available	on	dvd	from	new	line	home	video	.	it	contains	the	film	in	both	full	frame	and	in	its	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	85	:	1	,	cast	and	crew	info	,	and	special	dvd	rom	features	.	the	original	theatrical	trailer	is	also	on	the	disc	,	which	contains	scenes	not	in	the	film	.	apparently	there	was	even	more	footage	of	the	gang	of	brides	chasing	o'donnell	around	the	city	,	and	at	one	point	o'donnell	is	leaping	from	the	tops	of	buses	.	so	that	was	bad	enough	to	be	cut	,	but	the	other	30	minutes	of	bride	shenanigans	was	good	?	ugh	.	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	movies	have	been	based	on	novels	for	a	while	.	even	old	tv	shows	and	comic	books	.	but	only	recently	have	movies	been	based	on	video	games	.	the	following	are	short	reviews	of	some	recent	movies	based	on	video	games	.	enjoy	.	send	any	comments	critiques	flames	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	magus	mindspring	.	com	"	magus	mindspring	.	com	a	(	me	)	.	enjoy	!	!	super	mario	bros	.	:	the	movie	(	1994	)	starring	:	dennis	hopper	and	john	leguizamo	this	movie	is	based	off	the	wildly	popular	video	game	series	of	the	same	name	.	before	this	film	,	the	game	had	a	few	spin	off	cartoons	which	were	ok	.	but	the	idea	of	doing	a	movie	is	insane	.	it	should	have	been	animated	,	if	it	should	have	been	done	at	all	.	instead	the	people	do	the	best	they	can	with	a	talented	cast	.	yet	it	still	fails	.	the	plot	is	completely	different	from	the	game's	plot	i'm	not	complaining	about	that	.	the	story	involves	the	mario	bros	.	having	a	plumbing	business	in	brooklyn	and	having	to	compete	with	a	rival	company	.	eventually	they	find	a	construction	site	by	their	nemesis	,	which	happens	to	be	enviromentally	un	safe	.	so	,	due	to	luigi's	(	john	leguizamo	)	girlfriend	princess	daisy	they	go	and	investigate	.	they	get	transported	to	a	blade	runner	esque	world	lead	by	king	koopa	(	dennis	hopper	)	.	somehow	a	plot	dealing	with	all	the	dinosaurs	being	mutated	and	transported	to	an	alternate	futuristic	mega	city	jumbles	in	.	the	plot	is	fine	better	than	the	movie	deserves	.	the	acting	is	ok	.	this	seems	to	be	more	of	a	visual	film	.	the	special	effects	are	good	,	especially	on	the	robotic	yoshi	.	however	the	film	drags	and	is	no	fun	.	and	it	leaves	itself	open	to	a	sequel	,	which	probably	won't	ever	be	made	.	this	movie	begins	sort	of	promising	,	but	ends	up	leaving	a	weird	taste	in	your	mouth	.	so	if	you	want	to	watch	a	sort	of	odd	movie	starring	the	excellent	dennis	hopper	,	then	watch	super	mario	bros	.	:	the	movie	.	you	could	do	worse	.	but	you	could	definitely	do	better	.	.	.	1	2	out	of	.	street	fighter	:	the	movie	(	1995	)	starring	:	raul	julia	and	jean	claude	van	damme	this	movie	was	based	off	of	a	series	of	never	ending	sequels	to	a	game	called	street	fighter	2	.	it	has	all	the	characters	from	the	game	in	a	reasonable	plot	.	it	is	more	like	a	"	movie	"	than	it	should	be	.	yes	,	it's	watchable	.	raul	julia	does	a	good	job	,	considering	this	was	his	final	film	.	while	the	game	had	non	stop	fighting	sequences	,	this	movie	is	a	hodge	podge	of	action	scenes	and	flashy	sets	and	costumes	while	trying	to	show	off	a	plot	at	the	same	time	.	does	it	work	?	sort	of	.	.	.	the	plot	involves	the	evil	shadowloo	organization	run	by	m	.	bison	(	raul	julia	)	.	guile	(	jean	claude	van	damme	)	takes	his	troops	to	attack	bison's	main	base	in	an	attempt	to	liberate	the	innocent	villages	he	has	taken	over	.	in	a	short	amount	of	time	,	the	movie	introduces	several	characters	well	.	it	catches	your	attention	.	but	it	ultimately	seems	like	a	showcase	for	fans	of	the	game	so	you	can	point	out	things	like	"	there's	chun	li	!	!	"	or	"	look	at	that	fire	ball	ryu	did	at	vega	"	.	it	hits	the	bases	by	presenting	the	characters	in	a	plot	with	good	sets	,	but	goes	no	further	.	this	movie	needed	more	action	in	the	first	place	.	the	action	scenes	that	are	here	are	short	and	not	very	exciting	.	if	you	like	light	hearted	action	flicks	,	or	if	you	liked	the	game	,	watch	this	one	.	it	is	even	worth	watching	if	you	want	to	see	raul	julia's	last	performance	,	or	if	you	can't	get	enough	of	van	damme	.	other	than	that	,	you	could	find	better	action	flicks	.	out	of	.
neg	one	of	the	indicator	of	badness	in	film	is	the	hype	being	remembered	more	than	film	itself	.	such	was	the	case	with	boxing	helena	,	1993	directorial	debut	of	jennifer	chambers	lynch	,	daughter	of	the	great	david	lynch	.	made	in	the	dying	years	of	post	twin	peaks	lynch	craze	among	movie	snobs	,	it	was	hyped	as	another	,	"	warped	,	twisted	masterpiece	"	of	lynch	clan	.	kim	basinger	also	provided	extra	publicity	by	quitting	the	lead	role	and	being	sued	for	the	breech	of	contract	.	but	,	the	result	was	extremely	disappointing	film	,	which	quickly	sank	into	well	deserved	oblivion	.	the	movie	protagonist	is	nick	cavanaugh	(	played	by	julian	sands	)	,	talented	surgeon	who	is	getting	obsessed	by	helena	(	sherilyn	fenn	)	,	beautiful	woman	who	ditched	him	after	brief	affair	.	cavanaugh	stalks	her	and	uses	every	opportunity	for	the	pathetic	attempts	to	re	establish	the	relationship	.	during	one	of	such	occasions	,	helena	is	hit	by	a	car	,	and	nick	quickly	takes	the	role	of	her	personal	physician	in	order	to	have	his	way	with	her	.	after	she	wakes	up	,	helena	discovers	not	only	that	she	is	prisoner	in	cavanaugh's	stylish	residence	,	but	also	that	cavanaugh	amputated	her	legs	in	order	to	prevent	her	from	escaping	.	she	is	still	trying	to	escape	,	so	cavanaugh	takes	off	her	arms	.	apart	from	casting	sherilyn	fenn	(	audrey	horne	in	twin	peaks	and	small	cameo	in	wild	at	heart	)	and	the	use	of	twisted	characters	and	their	perverse	fantasies	,	this	film	by	ms	.	lynch	hasn't	got	anything	in	common	with	the	works	of	director's	more	talented	father	.	despite	rather	bizarre	subject	,	the	style	of	this	film	is	conventional	and	setting	is	light	,	characters	are	beautiful	but	the	result	at	the	end	is	quite	sterile	and	the	film	in	the	end	looks	too	artificial	for	dark	sexual	fantasy	it	was	supposed	to	portray	.	jennifer	lynch	obviously	lacks	talents	in	directing	and	it	becomes	painfully	obvious	in	the	scenes	that	are	supposed	to	erotic	its	banal	artificiality	is	even	bellow	the	standards	of	playboy	videos	.	the	actors	aren't	good	either	.	julian	sands	is	terribly	miscast	as	emotionally	disturbed	man	this	actors	is	best	either	when	he	plays	charismatic	protagonists	or	villains	;	being	neurotic	doesn't	suit	him	.	bill	paxton	was	better	for	this	role	,	but	his	presence	was	wasted	in	forgettable	and	unnecessary	subplot	dealing	with	helena's	boyfriend	.	sherilyn	fenn	contributed	to	this	film	mostly	by	her	looks	,	but	even	the	her	greater	effort	in	acting	couldn't	help	this	film	.	the	screenplay	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	awful	,	at	least	for	someone	who	had	made	best	seller	with	laura	palmer's	diary	the	events	in	this	movie	are	implausible	,	characters	come	and	go	without	purpose	and	many	unnecessary	subplots	only	slow	down	the	film	and	add	to	the	total	confusion	.	one	of	those	subplots	involves	character	of	cavanaugh's	"	regular	"	girlfriend	,	played	by	betsy	clarke	.	the	twist	at	the	end	,	although	unpredictable	,	is	unbelievable	and	the	viewers	,	who	had	the	stomach	to	endure	entire	film	,	would	feel	cheated	.	all	in	all	,	boxing	helena	is	disorganised	quasi	artistic	mess	of	a	movie	that	should	be	remembered	as	nothing	more	than	one	of	the	wiser	decisions	in	kim	basinger's	career	.
neg	these	days	,	people	have	rather	short	attention	span	and	hardly	anything	can	satisfy	them	for	the	long	run	.	1970s	nostalgia	is	already	wearing	off	,	and	now	,	people	are	becoming	more	and	more	interested	in	1980s	.	few	years	in	the	future	,	early	1990s	are	going	to	be	regarded	as	next	golden	age	of	nostalgia	.	however	,	i	doubt	that	people	are	going	to	be	very	nostalgic	about	the	hollywood	products	of	that	period	.	one	of	the	reason	would	surely	be	films	like	national	lampoon's	loaded	weapon	1	,	that	,	in	many	ways	,	symbolise	the	biggest	problem	of	contemporary	american	film	industry	lack	of	originality	and	ideas	.	being	made	as	some	kind	of	parody	on	lethal	weapon	series	,	this	film	pairs	two	l	.	a	.	policemen	jack	colt	(	emilio	estevez	)	,	burn	out	alcoholic	cop	on	the	edge	,	and	wes	luger	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	by	the	book	policeman	,	days	away	from	retirement	.	two	of	them	,	following	the	murder	of	luger's	ex	partner	,	must	confront	evil	general	mortars	(	william	shatner	)	,	crime	lord	who	is	going	to	flood	the	market	with	cocaine	stashed	in	wilderness	girl	cookies	.	the	authors	of	this	films	(	whose	director	,	gene	quintano	,	worked	on	such	projects	like	third	and	fourth	sequel	of	police	academy	)	lacked	any	original	idea	before	they	undertook	the	projects	,	and	that	reflects	in	the	lack	plot	,	characters	,	and	,	even	original	lines	.	the	plot	,	or	what	goes	for	the	plot	in	this	movie	,	is	nothing	more	than	a	series	of	gags	that	make	laugh	of	some	popular	films	made	in	previous	few	years	(	apart	from	lethal	weapon	series	,	this	film	"	borrows	"	its	female	lead	from	basic	instinct	)	.	the	best	gags	,	are	,	same	as	with	many	other	similar	movies	,	shown	in	the	trailers	.	the	rest	simply	doesn't	work	.	only	those	who	used	to	watch	a	lot	of	hollywood	products	in	that	period	would	laugh	.	others	would	probably	wince	at	the	lameness	of	humour	.	some	would	be	entertained	by	celebrity	cameos	that	pop	up	every	once	in	a	while	.	but	,	at	the	end	,	spending	hour	and	half	in	front	of	this	disorganised	mess	of	a	movie	is	simply	not	worth	the	effort	.
neg	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	james	brundage	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	00749ece25ab063e882568de001da736	?	opendocument	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	00749ece25ab063e882568de001da736	?	opendocument	a	rarely	does	a	film	like	screwed	come	across	my	desk	:	a	film	so	utterly	easy	to	insult	,	from	its	title	on	in	,	that	writing	the	review	is	an	absolute	piece	of	cake	.	somehow	,	the	producers	of	this	film	chose	the	title	screwed	over	such	options	as	ballbusted	,	foolproof	,	and	pittsburgh	,	probably	hoping	to	attract	a	teenage	crowd	with	its	would	been	risque	if	not	for	the	likes	of	s	.	f	.	w	.	title	and	its	screwball	norm	macdonald	needs	better	work	antics	.	sadly	,	this	marketing	technique	will	probably	succeed	and	result	in	,	well	,	a	lot	of	people	feeling	screwed	.	screwed	concerns	a	butler	(	norm	macdonald	)	and	a	chicken	wing	vendor	(	david	chapelle	)	who	team	up	to	try	to	,	well	,	screw	a	bitter	old	hag	out	of	five	million	dollars	.	needless	to	say	,	the	plan	goes	south	,	and	the	two	have	to	run	all	over	pittsburgh	(	which	is	obviously	not	really	pittsburgh	)	to	get	away	with	their	perfect	crime	.	norm	sleeps	with	some	girl	in	a	bit	part	that	should	have	been	bigger	,	david	convinces	good	old	norm	to	fake	his	death	with	the	help	of	a	mortician	(	danny	devito	)	,	and	all	the	while	we	watch	the	hag	bitch	and	gripe	,	not	really	caring	the	antics	in	screwed	are	childish	,	the	humor	pandering	to	a	sub	human	chord	that	will	resonate	with	no	one	with	an	iq	over	80	.	norm	macdonald	once	again	shows	that	the	pinnacle	of	his	career	will	most	likely	be	doing	the	weekend	update	on	snl	(	a	shtick	which	has	been	stolen	and	improved	upon	by	the	daily	show'	on	comedy	central	,	a	job	norm	macdonald	should	campaign	for	vigorously	)	.	david	chapelle	shows	that	his	comedic	talents	lie	in	stand	up	and	not	physical	antics	.	the	pleasure	that	screwed	offers	is	in	the	supporting	role	of	devito	,	which	is	pretty	much	only	a	pleasure	because	watching	devito	in	such	a	darkly	comic	role	is	so	very	different	from	the	average	part	you	see	him	pigeonholed	into	.	screwed	is	the	perfect	title	for	this	movie	if	only	because	,	after	watching	it	,	you	feel	screwed	six	ways	from	sunday	by	virtue	of	how	absolutely	wretched	this	pitiful	excuse	for	a	film	is	.	writer	directors	scott	alexander	and	larry	karazewski	,	the	writing	team	behind	milos	forman's	last	two	flicks	,	man	on	the	moon	and	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	,	should	probably	stick	to	writing	other	peoples'	movies	.	behind	the	camera	,	they	prove	that	directing	is	not	their	strong	suit	,	and	that	the	input	that	others	add	to	the	script	proves	invaluable	to	the	end	product	.	letting	them	direct	,	it	seems	,	just	gets	a	lot	of	people	screwed	.
neg	some	movies	ask	you	to	leave	your	brain	at	the	door	,	some	movies	ask	you	to	believe	in	the	impossible	to	really	have	a	good	time	.	playing	god	asks	just	one	simple	,	eensy	,	teensy	thing	so	it	can	fully	entertain	you	,	it's	accomplished	in	just	four	easy	to	follow	steps	:	crack	open	your	skull	,	scoop	out	your	brain	,	squish	it	under	your	foot	several	times	and	reverse	steps	two	and	one	.	congratulations	,	you	now	have	all	the	necessary	requirements	to	fully	enjoy	a	whole	lot	of	nothing	.	some	movies	fail	at	the	box	office	but	you	manage	to	see	why	the	producers	thought	it	could	have	been	a	good	movie	,	others	are	simply	good	ideas	that	are	badly	executed	.	then	there's	playing	god	,	which	enters	the	esteemed	category	of	movies	which	seem	to	have	grown	from	the	union	of	a	drunk	director	,	actors	satisfied	in	the	knowledge	that	this	horrible	flick	will	have	no	lasting	impact	on	their	careers	and	a	bunch	of	rip	offs	(	or	homages	as	they	like	to	call	it	)	from	other	,	better	movies	that	end	up	looking	like	an	unflushed	toilet	.
neg	in	the	line	of	duty	is	the	critically	praised	series	of	television	movies	dealing	with	the	real	life	incidents	that	claimed	lives	of	law	enforcement	officers	in	usa	.	the	twilight	murders	,	another	one	from	the	series	,	is	dealing	with	the	case	of	gordon	kahl	(	played	by	rod	steiger	)	,	old	farmer	from	north	dakota	who	would	rather	spend	a	year	in	prison	than	pay	taxes	to	the	despised	u	.	s	.	government	.	after	being	released	,	he	still	refuses	to	pay	taxes	and	the	warrant	is	issued	for	his	arrest	.	when	the	u	.	s	.	marshals	come	to	arrest	him	,	it	turns	out	that	kahl	isn't	alone	.	many	poor	farmers	in	rural	northwest	share	his	extremist	anti	government	beliefs	,	and	the	routine	operation	turns	into	shootout	that	would	leave	federal	officers	that	.	that	brings	fbi	on	the	scene	,	and	agent	mayberly	(	michael	gross	)	is	supervising	the	manhunt	.	however	,	his	efforts	seem	fruitless	,	since	kahl	still	has	many	supporters	,	some	of	them	even	in	the	local	law	enforcement	.	after	betrayed	,	1988	thriller	by	costa	gavras	,	hollywood	mostly	ignored	the	disturbing	trends	of	rising	right	wing	extremism	in	the	american	northwest	,	and	that	remained	so	until	oklahoma	city	bombing	,	when	media	hype	brought	right	wingers	back	into	spotlight	.	until	that	time	,	only	the	television	movies	like	this	one	bothered	to	pay	attention	to	that	phenomenon	.	unfortunately	,	the	twilight	murders	is	still	routine	and	formulaic	television	film	,	that	uses	sensationalist	real	life	content	in	order	to	cover	lack	of	originality	in	the	script	.	sometimes	,	like	many	american	tv	movies	,	it	creates	drama	where	drama	shouldn't	be	.	on	the	other	hand	,	film	is	steadily	directed	by	dick	lowry	,	and	rod	steiger	does	good	job	potraying	gordon	kahl	.	on	the	other	hand	,	michael	gross	as	his	pursuer	is	quite	wooden	and	his	interaction	with	some	of	the	actors	is	terrible	.	however	,	film	does	deal	with	potentially	thought	provoking	social	and	political	issues	,	so	hour	and	half	spent	in	front	of	the	screen	shouldn't	be	the	total	waste	of	time	.
neg	where	the	money	is	directed	by	marek	kanievska	.	written	by	e	.	max	frye	,	topper	lilien	and	carroll	cartwright	,	based	on	a	story	by	frye	.	photography	,	thomas	burstyn	.	editing	,	sam	craven	,	garth	craven	and	dan	lebental	.	production	design	,	andre	chamberland	.	music	,	mark	isham	.	produced	by	ridley	scott	,	charles	weinstock	,	chris	zarpas	and	christopher	dorr	.	cast	:	paul	newman	(	henry	)	,	linda	fiorentino	(	carol	)	,	dermot	mulroney	(	wayne	)	,	susan	barnes	(	foster	)	,	anne	pitoniak	(	tetlow	)	,	et	al	.	a	usa	films	grammercy	release	.	89	minutes	.	pg	13	(	language	,	hints	of	sex	)	points	earned	.	for	likelihood	of	plot	1	2	for	interest	of	subject	for	unpretentiousness	.	for	linda	fiorentino	1	2	.	for	paul	newman	bonus	points	:	we	at	bbnmm	(	bring	back	the	ninety	minute	movie	)	commend	the	film	.	its	title	is	the	famous	quote	attributed	to	robber	willie	sutton	(	1901	1980	)	when	he	was	asked	why	he	robbed	banks	.	"	because	that's	where	the	money	is	.	"	in	reality	,	willie	(	also	known	as	willie	the	actor	for	his	disguises	)	never	said	it	.	unlike	yogi	bera	,	he	did	not	leave	a	legacy	of	other	quotes	.	but	the	apocryphal	reply	has	been	used	time	and	again	in	wildly	different	cicumstances	.	london	born	director	marek	kanievska	,	has	just	two	previously	released	features	.	"	another	country	"	(	uk	,	1984	)	comes	from	a	prize	winning	london	play	about	with	public	schools	(	private	schools	in	american	parlance	)	in	the	1930s	,	homosexuality	,	non	conformism	,	the	real	life	defection	of	brits	to	the	ussr	.	it	was	nominated	for	best	picture	at	the	1984	cannes	film	festival	.	"	less	than	zero	"	(	usa	,	1987	)	was	very	distantly	adapted	from	the	brett	easton	ellis	novel	on	golden	youths	and	their	dissipation	.	a	peculiar	coincidence	:	the	film	of	ellis's	controversial	novel	"	american	psycho	"	came	out	the	same	week	as	"	where	the	money	is	.	"	the	skeleton	of	the	story	.	carol	(	fiorentino	)	is	a	nurse	in	an	old	people's	home	in	the	oregon	sticks	.	(	the	town	is	played	by	areas	of	montreal	)	.	she	is	sharp	,	lively	and	by	now	somehow	aware	that	there's	more	to	life	than	her	job	and	that	there	ought	to	be	more	in	her	marriage	with	her	high	school	sweetheart	,	unambitious	wayne	(	mulrooney	)	a	prison	bus	delivers	to	the	sanitarium	chronic	bank	robber	henry	(	newman	)	who	has	had	a	stroke	.	in	his	wheelchair	,	he	is	like	a	near	paralyzed	vegetable	.	carol	,	however	,	instinctively	suspects	that	he	is	a	fraud	.	she	tries	all	sorts	of	tricks	including	sexual	ones	to	unmask	him	.	in	vain	.	eventually	though	,	she	succeeds	.	shakespeare	wrote	"	out	of	this	nettle	,	danger	,	we	pluck	this	flower	,	safety	"	(	henry	iv	)	.	carol	,	out	of	henry's	catatonia	plucks	a	vigorous	,	smart	,	still	glamorous	and	sexy	man	.	the	purpose	of	his	tour	de	force	act	as	the	total	invalid	is	a	transfer	to	a	place	which	is	easy	to	escape	from	.	now	being	himself	and	laying	his	cards	on	the	table	,	henry	,	authoritative	.	suave	and	charming	flirts	and	dances	with	carol	.	she	is	not	unaffected	.	he	regales	the	couple	with	the	theory	and	practice	of	heists	.	inevitably	,	the	patient	,	his	nurse	,	and	the	reluctant	husband	plan	a	brinks	type	robbery	.	it	nets	them	an	armored	vehicle	and	guard	uniforms	.	the	two	men	impersonate	the	money	collectors	.	carol	operates	the	communications	system	with	admirable	presence	of	mind	.	the	first	part	of	the	film	is	cool	,	laid	back	like	newman	,	and	most	unhurried	.	it	is	pleasant	for	the	viewers	to	have	time	to	watch	developments	,	catch	nuances	and	not	be	pushed	around	by	the	story	the	second	part	is	a	savory	cocktail	of	comedy	,	near	farce	and	suspense	.	in	"	their	"	armored	car	,	the	trio	follow	the	scheduled	route	.	improbabilites	are	numerous	,	but	the	sleight	of	hand	of	script	,	direction	and	production	make	you	forget	all	about	disbelief	and	the	suspension	thereof	.	the	suspense	comes	from	the	steady	changes	of	venues	,	each	with	its	own	problems	and	solutions	.	there	are	echoes	of	some	earlier	paul	newman	roles	.	.	there	might	also	be	a	tongue	in	cheek	homage	to	such	heist	movies	as	stanley	kubrick's	early	"	the	killing	.	"	the	genre	has	longevity	.	so	do	several	pleasantly	immoral	films	which	make	us	root	for	likable	rogues	and	thieves	.	paul	newman	is	the	colorful	,	masterful	glue	that	keeps	things	sticking	together	.	by	the	way	,	he	is	73	and	not	75	here	.	the	picture	was	made	in	1998	.	why	its	release	was	delayed	for	two	years	baffles	me	.	newman	is	astonishing	.	any	signs	of	the	occasional	callowness	of	his	youth	have	disppeared	of	course	.	he	is	,	however	,	vibrant	with	youthfulness	,	energy	,	humor	,	self	control	,	self	confidence	and	wisdom	.	still	a	four	star	charmer	.	linda	fiorentino	is	also	an	umitigated	source	of	joy	.	i	cannot	tell	why	exactly	,	but	at	least	twice	i	felt	that	she	looked	like	lauren	bacall	,	perhaps	because	of	a	combination	of	gutsiness	,	initiative	and	.	smarts	.	she	is	such	a	fast	learner	that	anyone	who	has	ever	taught	a	class	would	give	anything	to	have	students	like	her	.	the	plot's	movie	movie	dialogue	snaps	and	crackles	.	carol	cuts	her	robber	teeth	on	her	own	.	she	gets	from	a	small	bank	a	bonus	toaster	oven	without	opening	the	necessary	account	.	disapproving	henry	throws	it	in	a	lake	.	the	imperturbable	lady's	reaction	:	"	it	says	you're	not	supposed	to	immerse	it	in	water	!	"	or	henry	to	wayne	who	will	case	a	joint	:	"	look	at	them	in	the	eye	.	but	not	like	you're	going	to	remember	their	faces	.	"	there	are	more	small	pearls	of	this	order	.	they	help	raise	the	film	from	light	entertainment	to	a	solid	"	divertimento	.	"	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	film	reviews	are	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
neg	throw	some	shots	of	a	vaguely	menacing	fetus	over	the	opening	credits	,	toss	in	a	brash	score	by	bernard	hermann	,	and	you're	off	and	running	.	is	the	baby	gonna	eat	it's	way	out	of	the	mother	?	is	there	going	to	be	some	sort	of	killer	baby	run	amok	,	a	la	some	larry	cohen	flick	,	in	brian	de	palma's	sisters	(	now	out	on	dvd	)	?	nope	.	false	alarm	.	this	sequence	is	pretty	cool	,	but	we	don't	have	a	mutant	killer	baby	slashing	up	victims	that	honor	goes	to	margot	(	superman	)	kidder	.	we	start	off	with	de	palma's	favorite	theme	:	voyeurism	.	on	a	corny	television	program	called	peeping	toms	,	the	candid	camera	guest	,	philip	(	likeable	lisle	wilson	)	has	to	choose	whether	or	not	to	let	a	blind	woman	know	he's	in	her	dressing	room	when	she's	changing	clothes	.	he	opts	to	be	a	gentleman	and	leave	the	room	before	she	takes	off	her	brassiere	.	the	audience	rewards	him	with	a	free	dinner	at	an	african	restaurant	,	since	he's	a	black	guy	.	it's	a	bold	,	politically	incorrect	move	which	wouldn't	be	done	nowadays	.	brian	de	palma	had	previously	satirized	race	in	hi	,	mom	!	,	but	he	eschews	that	here	in	favor	of	hitchcockian	trickery	.	philip	goes	out	on	a	date	with	the	blind	woman	,	who	was	really	a	french	canadian	model	living	on	staten	island	,	danielle	(	kidder	,	natch	)	.	after	a	nice	trip	back	to	her	apartment	for	some	pre	aids	casual	sex	,	our	would	be	hero	philip	learns	that	danielle	has	a	twin	and	it's	their	collective	birthday	.	he	buys	them	a	cake	and	brings	it	back	to	danielle's	place	.	unfortunately	for	him	,	the	deranged	sister	(	also	kidder	)	is	waiting	for	him	and	she	ain't	interested	in	cutting	the	cake	.	the	film	,	of	course	,	is	psycho	.	we	follow	a	hero	through	the	first	half	of	the	story	only	to	have	him	hastily	dispatched	.	our	norman	bates	comes	in	the	form	of	danielle	,	maybe	,	since	it's	never	clear	whether	she's	the	psycho	killer	or	it's	her	twin	sister	.	our	focus	shifts	to	a	nosy	reporter	who	lives	next	door	(	played	by	brassy	jennifer	salt	)	who	has	witnessed	the	killing	through	her	window	.	whether	this	is	an	homage	to	rear	window	or	outright	theft	is	debatable	.	of	course	,	those	lousy	police	won't	lift	a	finger	to	help	her	since	she	gave	them	some	negative	press	.	we	have	the	obligatory	and	painfully	unfunny	scenes	where	she	tries	to	gets	the	cops	to	investigate	,	complete	with	"	who's	on	first	"	dialogue	not	five	minutes	after	we've	seen	a	gory	on	screen	slaying	.	de	palma	was	never	one	for	maintaining	an	even	tone	in	his	films	,	shifting	wildly	from	sadistic	violence	to	slapstick	.	i'm	sure	he'd	call	it	"	playing	the	audience	like	a	piano	,	"	since	he's	been	trying	to	be	alfred	hitchcock	ever	since	1973	.	the	character	development	is	minimal	,	the	situation	so	over	the	top	as	to	prove	laughable	.	margot	kidder	embarrasses	herself	with	a	va	va	voom	french	accent	,	but	not	so	much	as	jennifer	"	pay	attention	to	me	"	salt	.	de	palma's	camerawork	is	fairly	mundane	,	except	when	he	goes	for	his	split	screen	parallel	action	bit	as	the	cops	are	closing	in	and	the	body	is	being	disposed	.	it	feels	like	an	episode	from	some	bad	sitcom	.	i	gotta	clean	up	this	mess	before	dad	gets	home	!	uh	oh	!	here	comes	dad	!	i'll	just	hide	around	this	corner	!	as	for	the	surreal	dream	sequence	which	closes	the	film	,	involving	black	and	white	cinematography	and	an	explanation	of	how	that	bizarre	doctor	(	william	finley	)	who's	been	scampering	around	throughout	the	film	is	involved	with	the	sisters	,	well	,	this	turns	the	movie	into	a	carnival	freakshow	,	complete	with	the	seedy	feeling	of	being	ripped	off	afterwards	.	the	half	jokey	tone	of	the	eleventh	hour	revelation	probably	didn't	even	play	well	back	in	1973	.	it	sure	doesn't	work	today	.
neg	starring	ben	affleck	,	gary	sinise	,	charlize	theron	,	dennis	farina	,	danny	trejo	,	clarence	williams	iii	,	and	isaac	hayes	.	what	makes	reindeer	games	even	more	disappointing	than	just	a	predictable	,	lifeless	action	flick	is	the	cast	and	crew	who	signed	onto	the	project	.	most	of	the	people	involved	in	reindeer	games	just	came	off	terrible	slumps	with	excellent	comeback	performances	in	their	most	recent	films	.	john	frankenheimer	,	who	made	the	unforgettable	cold	war	drama	the	manchurian	candidate	way	back	in	the	early	60's	,	recently	showed	critics	and	fans	alike	that	he	still	had	some	magic	left	in	his	directorial	skills	when	he	created	the	brilliant	car	chase	scenes	in	ronin	.	screenwriter	ehren	kruger	gave	a	remarkable	first	impression	when	he	wrote	the	script	for	the	underrated	arlington	rd	.	ben	affleck	displayed	his	comedic	talents	in	dogma	and	boiler	room	,	and	even	on	saturday	night	live	directly	after	the	horrible	forces	of	nature	and	200	cigarettes	.	even	charlize	theron	,	who	i	was	convinced	couldn't	act	,	did	a	decent	job	in	cider	house	rules	.	when	all	of	these	bright	stars	come	together	,	one	would	assume	that	the	movie	will	have	great	potential	to	be	entertaining	.	after	coming	out	of	the	theater	showing	reindeer	games	,	disbelief	was	my	first	reactionthen	frustration	.	the	movie	could	have	premiered	on	cinemax	at	two	in	the	morning	starring	an	all	rookie	cast	and	still	would	have	been	equally	lacking	in	entertaining	.	the	acting	is	so	pitiful	and	the	script	so	dull	,	i	may	have	to	rethink	some	of	my	opinions	on	how	talented	these	actors	actually	are	.	it	seemed	like	everyone	was	restricted	to	just	the	script	and	not	given	a	fair	amount	of	improvisational	rights	.	we	have	all	seen	ben	affleck	have	some	fun	on	the	set	,	it	is	so	apparent	in	a	number	of	scenes	in	good	will	hunting	when	he	exchanges	jokes	with	his	friends	at	a	bar	.	the	actors	in	that	movie	were	having	fun	and	,	from	that	,	the	audience	had	fun	.	reindeer	games	is	the	complete	opposite	;	the	actors	don't	seem	to	want	to	be	their	characters	(	even	danny	trejo	,	who	will	do	practically	anything	,	doesn't	look	like	he	is	enjoying	himself	)	,	causing	the	audience	to	quickly	lose	interest	.	evidence	of	public	disapproval	was	noted	when	a	woman	behind	me	yelled	"	boy	this	movie	is	horrible	!	"	and	when	there	were	scattered	giggles	during	the	most	dramatic	moments	.	the	story	follows	a	man	,	rudy	(	ben	affleck	)	,	who	is	leaving	prison	in	a	few	days	along	with	his	best	friend	and	cellmate	nick	(	james	frain	)	.	nick	has	been	exchanging	love	letters	with	a	beautiful	woman	,	ashley	(	charlize	theron	)	,	and	cannot	wait	to	leave	prison	and	meet	her	in	person	.	when	nick	is	killed	in	a	prison	riot	,	rudy	decides	to	pretend	to	be	nick	and	take	ashley	out	on	a	date	for	the	christmas	holidays	.	unfortunately	ashley's	brother	,	gabriel	(	gary	sinise	)	interferes	with	their	relationship	.	thinking	rudy	is	nick	,	he	kidnaps	rudy	and	threatens	to	kill	him	unless	he	helps	rob	a	casino	,	which	nick	use	to	work	at	as	a	security	guard	.	now	rudy	must	pretend	to	be	nick	so	he	can	protect	ashley	from	her	brother	gabriel	.	confused	?	the	movie	only	gets	more	complex	as	it	goes	on	,	until	it	gets	way	,	way	too	complex	at	its	climax	.	but	reindeer	games	makes	its	first	serious	mistake	during	the	first	half	an	hour	.	the	hero	commits	a	greedy	,	selfish	act	when	he	decides	to	pretend	he	is	his	dead	cellmate	in	order	to	date	ashley	.	some	hero	.	the	point	of	a	hero	is	to	do	the	morally	correct	thing	,	a	person	for	the	audience	to	relate	to	or	admire	.	when	rudy	lies	and	cheats	his	way	into	trouble	,	instead	of	gathering	support	from	me	for	him	to	ultimately	succeed	in	getting	the	bad	guys	,	i	felt	more	like	he	was	getting	what	he	deserved	and	even	wanted	to	see	him	fail	at	times	.	the	most	irritating	part	of	the	film	(	besides	the	fact	that	this	is	a	christmas	movie	released	in	february	)	is	the	number	of	chances	the	bad	guys	get	to	kill	rudy	but	fail	or	delay	for	some	idiotic	reason	.	the	routine	in	which	the	bad	guy	must	explain	his	genius	plan	to	the	hero	before	attempting	to	kill	him	with	some	elaborate	machine	is	getting	so	tired	nowadays	,	especially	when	i	eagerly	want	to	see	the	hero	dead	.	the	only	saving	grace	keeping	this	movie	from	receiving	zero	stars	is	an	amusing	but	pointless	cameo	from	isaac	hayes	as	a	prisoner	upset	with	his	food	.	why	he	was	in	this	movie	for	such	a	pointless	role	beats	me	.	why	any	of	these	people	had	anything	at	all	to	do	with	this	movie	beats	me	.
neg	as	you	should	know	,	this	summer	has	been	less	than	memorable	.	with	a	total	of	4	decent	films	,	it's	not	a	surprise	that	these	big	budget	failures	keep	appearing	.	with	that	said	,	you	can	pretty	much	predict	what	my	opinion	on	"	the	13th	warrior	"	will	be	.	the	film	is	based	on	the	michael	crichton	"	eaters	of	the	dead	"	,	in	which	ahmed	ibn	fahdlan	is	banished	from	his	country	for	looking	at	a	wife	of	a	king	.	after	tarveling	for	many	months	,	he	comes	across	a	gang	of	norsemen	,	who	are	forced	to	pick	13	men	to	protect	a	town	from	mythical	monsters	who	travel	in	the	fog	.	so	,	they	start	picking	men	,	and	are	left	without	1	,	thus	ahmed	is	choosen	.	so	far	it	sounds	interesting	right	?	not	when	all	of	this	takes	place	in	15	minutes	.	after	that	,	they	basically	run	around	killing	.	that	alone	shows	how	much	a	script	is	needed	for	a	film	,	because	once	your	story	is	introduced	,	you	have	the	rest	of	the	film	to	start	developing	it	.	obviously	that's	not	the	case	here	.	even	if	you	are	going	into	the	film	expecting	an	action	packed	adventure	,	you	will	be	disappointed	.	since	all	the	action	takes	place	in	fog	,	it	is	constantly	hard	to	see	a	scene	clearly	due	to	those	circumstances	,	and	to	poor	camera	work	.	can't	the	camera	men	sit	still	?	i'd	like	to	actually	watch	a	film	in	focus	,	but	again	,	they	failed	to	deliver	that	as	well	.	the	film	moves	on	and	on	until	the	point	,	where	you	can	care	less	about	anything	but	the	popcorn	you're	eating	.	with	corny	dialogue	,	that	the	characters	laugh	at	for	some	odd	reason	,	a	script	that	goes	nowhere	,	dull	action	sequences	,	a	predictable	ending	,	and	worst	of	all	weak	characters	,	there's	basically	nothing	to	like	here	,	except	for	maybe	the	set	designs	.	that's	the	only	thing	that	honestly	caught	my	interest	.	when	i	heard	that	john	mctiernan	,	the	director	,	wanted	his	name	kept	out	of	the	project	,	that	made	me	wonder	why	?	well	now	i	know	.	crichton's	greed	forced	mctiernan	to	edit	his	finished	product	,	which	led	to	a	big	arguement	.	what's	there	to	argue	about	anyway	?	the	film	couldn't	be	saved	,	no	matter	how	much	they	spent	or	casted	.	seeing	films	like	the	haunting	and	big	daddy	making	money	,	i	wouldn't	be	surprised	to	see	"	the	13th	warrior	"	become	a	hit	.	please	do	me	a	favor	and	save	your	money	at	all	costs	,	or	else	you	will	be	lost	in	the	fog	,	like	the	film	itself	.
neg	director	:	mark	christopher	cast	:	ryan	phillippe	,	mike	myers	,	neve	campbell	,	salma	hayek	,	brecklin	meyer	screenplay	:	mark	christopher	producers	:	ira	deutchman	,	richard	n	.	gladstein	,	dolly	hall	runtime	:	95	min	.	us	distribution	:	miramax	rated	r	:	language	,	sex	,	drug	use	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	54	is	dull	,	perfunctory	,	uninspired	,	and	boring	.	a	greater	writer	might	have	created	a	lyrical	sentence	for	each	of	those	adjectives	,	flowing	in	lovely	arangements	with	soaring	metaphors	.	i	,	however	,	would	rather	cut	to	the	chase	.	54	is	dull	,	perfunctory	,	uninspired	,	and	boring	.	there	is	nothing	in	it	not	a	glimpse	of	depth	,	nor	a	shimmer	of	intelligence	or	insight	.	there	is	no	electricity	in	any	of	the	scenes	,	or	a	moment	of	interest	in	the	story	or	its	subplots	.	and	it's	underdeveloped	,	and	features	an	array	of	bland	characters	played	by	actors	who	think	they're	in	this	year's	boogie	nights	.	they	are	so	wrong	.	the	picture	has	been	assembled	by	mark	christopher	.	based	on	this	film	,	i	don't	know	how	he	got	a	job	in	the	business	.	54	is	supposed	to	be	an	amazing	insight	into	the	world	of	the	dance	club	of	the	same	name	,	which	originated	in	the	70s	and	closed	down	in	the	80s	.	i	don't	know	if	this	film	went	into	production	after	boogie	nights	was	released	,	but	christopher	has	managed	to	plagiarize	paul	thomas	anderson's	brilliant	work	in	every	possible	way	,	from	the	framework	of	the	plot	down	to	the	style	of	the	cinematography	.	what	it	lacks	is	everything	that	made	boogie	nights	great	:	depth	,	intelligence	,	energy	,	fascinating	characters	,	and	challenging	themes	.	54	can't	even	measure	up	to	the	last	days	of	disco	,	which	is	flawed	,	but	still	smart	and	entertaining	.	it's	remarkably	bad	timing	,	i'd	say	,	to	release	a	film	this	tedious	after	a	couple	of	noteworthy	pictures	of	the	same	kind	.	i	have	exaggerated	,	though	:	there	is	one	interesting	character	,	and	one	terrific	performance	.	that	character	is	steve	rubell	,	played	with	more	perceptiveness	by	mike	myers	than	this	limp	production	deserves	.	steve	rubell	is	the	owner	of	studio	54	,	and	if	christopher	had	focused	on	him	,	then	myers	could	have	forced	a	good	film	out	of	this	wreck	all	by	himself	.	alas	,	we	are	instead	guided	to	endure	the	trials	of	a	young	man	named	shane	(	ryan	phillippe	)	,	a	going	nowhere	new	jersey	teen	who	gets	a	job	in	the	club	,	thanks	to	rubell's	homosexual	impulses	.	it's	here	that	he	meets	his	friends	,	the	array	of	uninteresting	characters	:	his	co	worker	,	greg	(	brecklin	meyer	)	,	his	wife	,	anita	(	salma	hayek	)	,	and	,	of	course	,	the	love	interest	,	julie	black	(	neve	campbell	)	.	shane	is	just	an	innocent	young	fool	in	the	beginning	,	and	he	has	a	reasonably	sturdy	home	life	.	(	some	of	the	scenes	with	his	father	border	on	interesting	,	while	heather	matarazzo	,	who	plays	his	sister	,	pushes	phillippe	off	the	screen	.	)	but	he	decides	to	envelop	himself	in	the	disco	scene	,	and	succumb	to	peer	pressure	and	to	drugs	.	why	his	"	friends	"	push	him	into	drugs	is	never	really	explained	,	but	the	fact	that	they	are	"	friends	"	is	questioned	only	is	superficial	ways	(	greg	gets	really	mad	at	shane	because	he's	been	elevated	to	bartender	status	)	.	there	isn't	a	single	conflict	that	takes	center	stage	,	except	that	shane	has	some	kind	of	unexplored	reservation	with	the	business	in	which	he	works	.	most	of	the	film	is	dumb	,	and	most	of	the	dialogue	is	inane	.	there's	a	scene	late	in	the	film	in	which	shane	confronts	julie	black	,	and	,	in	the	next	scene	,	they're	arm	in	arm	without	a	bit	of	development	.	then	,	they're	kissing	in	a	bowling	alley	!	this	is	five	minutes	of	material	,	thrown	into	the	picture	at	the	last	minute	(	well	past	the	one	hour	mark	,	and	this	isn't	a	long	film	to	begin	with	)	.	campbell	is	a	talented	actress	,	but	she	needs	a	role	that	gives	her	a	little	depth	.	this	one	doesn't	.	and	phillippe	has	almost	no	presence	whatsoever	;	this	performance	pales	in	comparison	to	mark	whalberg's	star	making	role	in	boogie	nights	.	he	seems	dumb	and	misguided	,	and	his	voice	never	changes	tone	.	i	guess	he	was	picked	for	the	color	of	his	hair	and	the	shape	of	his	body	,	but	he	seems	pretty	lanky	to	me	.	he's	all	wrong	for	a	lead	role	,	but	it	doesn't	help	that	christopher	has	forgotten	to	develop	his	characters	.	by	the	end	of	54	,	shane's	most	notable	trait	is	his	stupid	,	fake	accent	.	the	rest	of	the	performances	are	wasted	.	hayek	is	an	energetic	,	talented	young	actress	,	and	does	almost	nothing	here	.	meyer	is	endearing	,	but	allowed	to	be	no	deeper	than	cardboard	.	only	myers	,	by	sheer	force	of	talent	,	manages	to	rise	above	christopher's	wading	pool	of	a	script	.	rubell	has	been	written	just	as	depthless	as	the	rest	of	the	characters	,	but	myers	is	good	enough	to	inject	subtleties	that	help	round	out	the	performance	.	in	fact	,	myers	is	the	sole	reason	to	see	54	,	and	all	it	really	does	is	make	you	wish	that	the	film	had	revolved	around	him	.	i've	read	that	studio	54	has	been	recreated	down	to	the	last	detail	.	frankly	,	i	don't	care	.	it's	easy	to	recreate	something	technical	like	this	.	a	fairly	skilled	production	designer	and	a	few	carpenters	can	manage	such	a	task	.	besides	,	christopher	keeps	the	lights	so	low	that	the	sets	are	invisible	,	anyway	.	aside	from	myers'	performance	,	54	is	a	complete	failure	.	it's	dull	,	perfunctory	,	uninspired	,	and	boring	.	some	may	find	my	comparisons	to	boogie	nights	unfair	,	but	they're	so	obvious	to	me	.	in	any	event	,	54	is	pallid	without	the	contrast	.	it	doesn't	even	work	as	mindless	entertainment	:	it's	so	shallow	that	the	most	escapist	viewers	are	likely	to	dismiss	it	.	so	,	don't	forget	those	key	words	:	dull	,	perfunctory	,	uninspired	,	and	boring	.	everything	else	i	said	was	just	padding	.
neg	renowned	hong	kong	action	director	tsui	hark	first	teamed	with	jean	claude	van	damme	on	the	action	star's	1997	pairing	with	dennis	rodman	,	_	double	_	team	_	,	and	managed	to	make	what	initially	appeared	to	be	a	disaster	into	a	slick	,	stylish	,	and	somewhat	diverting	action	timekiller	.	tsui	continues	to	energetically	pile	on	the	visual	razzle	dazzle	in	his	latest	collaboration	with	the	muscles	from	brussels	,	_	knock	_	off	_	,	but	this	time	around	,	style	neither	save	a	script	that	is	at	best	ridiculous	,	and	at	worst	incomprehensible	;	nor	hide	a	host	of	truly	lousy	performances	.	writer	steven	e	.	desouza's	fairly	straightforward	plotline	isn't	as	outre	as	_	double	_	team	_	's	strange	yarn	involving	a	secret	think	tank	prison	,	but	it	makes	about	as	much	sense	,	which	is	little	.	van	damme	plays	marcus	ray	,	a	hong	kong	based	sales	rep	for	a	jeans	company	(	!	)	who	stumbles	upon	a	russian	terrorist	scheme	to	implant	powerful	microchip	sized	bombs	in	hk	product	exports	to	the	u	.	s	.	dolls	,	electronic	equipment	,	and	,	yes	,	jeans	.	it's	all	part	of	some	type	of	ransom	scheme	,	but	all	i	remember	is	and	i	kid	you	not	graphics	on	a	cia	computer	screen	showing	a	map	of	the	world	,	bombs	detonating	,	and	an	hat	wearing	figure	on	the	other	side	of	the	world	bursting	out	into	laughter	.	.	.	.	.	.	which	is	what	the	crowd	at	the	showing	i	attended	spontaneously	did	throughout	_	knock	_	off	_	.	while	all	of	van	damme's	films	have	its	share	of	unintentional	laughs	,	mostly	due	to	the	stiff	acting	"	skills	"	of	the	physically	agile	van	damme	,	_	knock	_	off	_	delivers	more	than	usual	(	though	not	as	many	as	van	damme's	embarrassing	directorial	effort	,	1996's	_	the	_	quest	_	)	.	a	lot	of	the	laughs	are	earned	by	some	particularly	painful	lines	by	desouza	:	"	i	smoked	that	badass	like	a	roman	candle	!	"	and	"	entrepreneurship	,	babycakes	!	"	standing	out	among	my	favorites	.	but	it	is	indeed	the	pathetic	performances	that	provide	the	bulk	of	_	knock	_	off	_	's	laughs	.	van	damme	is	true	to	laughable	form	,	perhaps	even	worse	than	usual	.	early	scenes	actually	_	require	_	him	to	make	funny	with	co	star	rob	schneider	(	improbably	cast	as	a	deep	cover	cia	agent	posing	as	marcus's	business	partner	)	,	and	the	sight	and	sound	of	the	still	heavily	accented	van	damme	haplessly	trying	to	drop	punchlines	is	hilarious	in	the	wrong	way	.	even	typically	good	actors	are	not	immune	to	the	bad	acting	bug	.	paul	sorvino	is	unconvincing	and	terribly	overwrought	as	schneider's	cia	superior	;	and	lela	rochon	,	playing	an	investigator	for	the	jeans	company	,	spends	the	entire	movie	in	perpetual	snarl	mode	.	in	rochon's	defense	,	though	,	her	role	requires	her	to	do	little	more	than	display	her	toned	legs	,	exquisite	bone	structure	,	and	perky	bosoms	,	the	latter	coming	in	handy	for	one	key	scene	where	she	must	fish	for	microbombs	stuck	in	her	ample	cleavage	.	tsui	picks	up	where	he	left	off	visually	in	_	double	_	team	_	,	juicing	up	the	proceedings	with	inventive	camera	work	.	here	,	though	,	tsui's	visual	razzle	dazzle	borders	on	over	kill	,	coming	off	as	desperate	attempts	to	shield	the	inanity	of	the	entire	enterprise	.	for	each	nifty	trick	tsui	pulls	off	,	such	as	a	recurring	visual	theme	that	has	the	camera	literally	going	through	the	circuitry	of	electronic	devices	,	there	are	others	that	are	completely	superfluous	.	this	is	especially	disconcerting	when	the	trick	in	question	could	be	clever	when	used	in	the	right	context	.	for	instance	,	one	scene	early	on	has	marcus	putting	his	hand	in	a	box	.	as	he	puts	his	hand	in	,	the	same	action	is	shown	from	an	overhead	camera	angle	in	a	rectangle	at	the	corner	of	the	screen	.	it's	undoubtedly	an	interesting	visual	,	but	it	would	have	been	nice	if	its	use	actually	amounted	to	something	.	the	test	of	a	van	damme	movie	boils	down	to	the	action	sequences	,	but	surprisingly	,	those	in	_	knock	_	off	_	leave	much	to	be	desired	.	tsui	does	what	he	can	to	make	something	of	them	,	employing	freeze	frames	,	blurred	motion	,	and	unconventional	camera	angles	,	but	there	is	nothing	fundamentally	special	about	the	fairly	generic	chase	and	fight	sequences	written	by	desouza	.	there	isn't	anything	as	preposterously	amusing	as	the	climactic	tiger	land	mine	fight	in	_	double	_	team	_	,	let	alone	anything	remotely	close	to	tsui's	legendary	hong	kong	works	(	but	that's	a	given	going	in	)	.	if	tsui	has	any	hope	of	approaching	his	countryman	john	woo's	stateside	success	,	he	would	do	best	to	break	free	from	van	damme	.	.	.	before	it's	too	late	.	if	he	continues	his	involvement	with	b	grade	movies	such	as	_	knock	_	off	_	,	the	respect	he	has	from	hk	action	fans	will	continue	to	diminish	.	.	.	that	is	,	if	it	hasn't	already	disappeared	entirely	after	this	fiasco	.
neg	john	carpenter's	ghosts	of	mars	(	2001	)	ice	cube	,	natasha	henstridge	,	jason	statham	,	pam	grier	,	clea	duvall	,	joanna	cassidy	,	liam	waite	,	wanda	dejesus	,	duane	davis	,	lobo	sebastian	,	rodney	a	.	grant	,	robert	carradine	,	peter	jason	.	music	by	john	carpenter	.	written	by	larry	sulkis	and	john	carpenter	.	directed	by	john	carpenter	.	98	minutes	.	rated	r	,	1	star	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	beware	of	movies	with	the	director's	name	in	the	title	.	take	"	john	carpenter's	ghosts	of	mars	"	(	please	)	.	if	the	carpenter	brand	name	wasn't	superglued	to	the	title	,	this	embarrassment	would	surely	have	bypassed	theaters	entirely	and	gone	straight	to	its	proper	home	on	the	usa	network	.	and	i	would	have	been	spared	a	headache	.	the	latest	from	the	director	of	"	starman	,	"	"	halloween	"	and	"	escape	from	new	york	"	is	a	lousy	western	all	gussied	up	to	look	like	a	futuristic	horror	flick	.	the	production	is	set	on	mars	in	2176	,	where	humanity	looks	for	relief	from	the	overpopulation	strangling	their	home	world	.	six	hundred	and	forty	thousand	people	in	a	matriarchal	society	live	and	work	at	outposts	all	over	the	red	planet	,	terra	forming	to	make	it	more	hospitable	for	future	generations	.	a	matriarchal	society	.	terra	forming	.	sounds	pretty	intriguing	,	eh	?	well	,	don't	get	your	hopes	up	.
neg	1997	,	pg	,	93	minutes	1	hour	,	33	minutes	starring	:	robin	williams	(	phillip	brainard	)	,	marcia	gay	harden	(	sara	jean	reynolds	)	,	jodi	benson	(	voice	of	weebo	)	,	christopher	mcdonald	(	wilson	croft	)	;	written	by	john	hughes	,	bill	walsh	;	produced	by	john	hughes	;	directed	by	les	mayfield	;	based	on	the	screenplay	"	the	absent	minded	professor	"	by	bill	walsh	.	seen	december	2	,	1997	at	6	:	50	p	.	m	.	at	the	glenwood	movieplex	cinemas	(	oneida	,	ny	)	,	theater	3	,	by	myself	for	free	(	free	pass	)	.	theater	rating	:	:	good	seats	,	sound	,	and	picture	there	are	many	philosophies	as	to	why	we	are	so	fascinated	with	cartoons	.	they	provide	a	method	of	total	escapism	in	which	anything	will	work	within	their	context	,	from	the	outrageous	slapstick	of	looney	tunes	to	the	intensity	of	japanimation	.	watching	"	flubber	"	really	clinched	this	idea	for	me	,	because	it's	just	a	live	action	cartoon	that	presents	itself	as	a	regular	comedy	.	it	proves	how	painfully	unfunny	all	those	gags	and	slapstick	would	be	in	reality	,	and	how	important	it	is	to	actually	have	a	story	.	the	film	wastes	no	time	in	establishing	its	lighthearted	,	cartoony	atmosphere	.	we	meet	medfield	college	chemistry	professor	phillip	brainard	(	williams	)	,	the	typical	,	supposedly	likable	mad	scientist	.	within	the	first	10	minutes	we	get	at	least	a	half	dozen	jokes	about	how	forgetful	he	is	.	phillip's	memory	loss	seems	less	like	a	cartoony	gag	and	more	like	a	real	case	of	alzhiemer's	disease	isn't	this	rather	lowbrow	comedy	?	he	starts	teaching	chemistry	after	walking	in	on	a	nude	figure	drawing	class	(	an	inappropriate	joke	for	a	kids'	movie	if	i	ever	saw	one	)	.	we	learn	he	has	stood	his	up	fiancee	,	sara	(	harden	)	,	twice	at	the	altar	simply	because	he's	forgotten	.	sara	claims	to	love	him	,	but	says	if	he	forgets	the	wedding	again	she'll	stop	loving	him	(	a	sign	of	childish	attitude	the	film	denies	it	has	)	.	but	even	cartoons	must	have	conflicts	to	resolve	,	and	it's	no	surprise	the	major	conflicts	here	are	related	.	christopher	mcdonald	does	and	even	worse	version	of	his	usual	villain	shtick	as	wilson	croft	,	a	scientist	who	not	only	wants	to	steal	phillip's	ideas	,	but	his	woman	too	.	what's	worse	is	that	sara	actually	seems	interested	in	him	!	wilson	works	for	a	rival	college	that	wants	to	buy	out	medfield	,	which	is	going	broke	,	unless	phillip	can	invent	something	to	save	the	day	.	one	of	the	first	rules	of	filmmaking	is	to	make	sure	the	title	has	something	to	do	with	the	film	.	the	flubber	is	played	for	gags	after	it	is	introduced	,	but	is	all	but	forgotten	about	thereafter	.	it's	obvious	phillip	is	going	to	accidentally	invent	flubber	,	a	flying	rubber	compound	that	yields	tremendous	energy	,	and	the	promotions	make	the	flubber	look	realistic	and	funny	.	unfortunately	,	the	flubber	,	like	all	the	special	effects	in	this	film	,	looks	very	fake	and	unconvincing	.	flubber	also	seems	to	have	intelligence	and	a	personality	,	and	by	the	time	it	performs	a	song	and	dance	routine	,	you	give	up	wondering	how	life	could	spontaneously	come	to	an	inanimate	object	.	most	of	the	film	wanders	aimlessly	as	it	relies	on	the	flubber	to	make	for	the	comedy	(	since	phillip's	absent	mindedness	is	forgotten	about	)	and	somehow	push	the	story	along	.	but	it's	clear	how	weak	this	premise	is	from	the	get	go	and	the	film	just	gets	worse	.	all	the	jokes	involve	people	getting	hit	by	fast	moving	,	flubber	powered	objects	including	:	bowling	balls	;	flying	cars	that	don't	fly	well	;	and	a	basketball	team	capable	of	jumping	100	feet	into	the	air	.	it's	all	presented	with	complete	logic	,	and	no	one	believes	flubber	exists	even	when	they	see	it	with	their	own	eyes	.	during	the	basketball	scene	,	the	coach	for	the	rival	team	actually	says	,	"	i	think	they	might	be	cheating	,	"	to	which	the	referee	replies	,	"	there's	no	rules	about	jumping	too	high	.	"	"	predictable	"	doesn't	begin	to	describe	the	motions	the	film	goes	through	,	especially	after	the	halfway	point	.	and	it's	not	how	terribly	contrived	the	plot	is	,	it's	the	way	it's	broken	down	scene	by	scene	,	with	absolutely	no	transition	.	not	only	that	,	but	all	the	actors	here	,	especially	williams	,	seem	bored	to	tears	.	i'd	say	80	percent	of	all	the	scenes	were	shot	with	a	bluescreen	,	so	it's	almost	forgivable	when	you	realize	they're	talking	to	nothing	and	interacting	with	nothing	.	it's	safe	to	say	everything	that	could	be	bad	about	"	flubber	"	is	.	the	only	original	element	the	film	has	is	the	world's	first	romance	between	a	machine	and	a	human	.	but	this	aspect	is	quite	twisted	if	you	think	about	it	,	and	,	like	the	rest	of	the	film	,	you	won't	.
neg	what	in	the	hell	is	wrong	with	conteporary	hollywood	?	don't	they	realize	that	almost	every	single	one	of	their	big	budget	blockbusters	suck	?	obviously	not	,	because	they	just	keep	on	turning	out	the	same	,	tired	ol'	run	of	the	mill	formula	flicks	.	i	mean	,	just	look	at	the	last	couple	years	.	this	year	,	we	had	the	latest	"	batman	"	flick	.	what	started	out	as	a	brilliantly	realized	,	stark	,	gothic	series	of	great	films	directed	by	the	master	of	the	macabre	himself	,	tim	burton	,	has	turned	into	a	franchise	.	then	they	ditched	burton	and	keaton	and	came	out	with	the	sorriest	excuse	for	an	action	film	i	have	ever	had	the	misfortune	of	seeing	.	now	,	they	have	a	better	batman	(	george	clooney	,	by	the	way	)	,	but	some	of	the	stupidest	villians	in	recent	memory	(	though	poisen	ivy	was	great	)	.	look	at	the	kinds	of	lines	we	got	:	"	ice	to	see	you	.	chill	out	.	"	c'mon	!	and	how	can	we	forget	"	speed	2	:	cruise	control	"	?	they	took	what	is	very	possibly	the	greatest	action	film	in	the	past	ten	years	and	spent	,	like	,	170	million	dollars	(	or	something	like	that	)	to	make	a	crap	sequel	that	did	about	70	million	at	the	box	office	!	and	then	you	have	the	queen	of	them	all	:	"	twister	"	.	okay	,	don't	worry	.	i'm	done	ranting	and	raving	about	how	stupid	hollywood	is	and	i'm	actually	going	to	start	talking	about	the	"	film	"	.	"	twister	"	,	like	i	said	,	is	the	queen	of	all	crappy	summer	movies	.	it	has	absolutly	no	character	development	,	no	plot	twists	(	hell	,	it	barely	even	has	a	plot	)	and	basically	no	script	.	this	is	an	empty	film	.	and	what's	sad	is	that	it	doesn't	even	do	what	it	was	meant	to	do	.	some	of	my	favorite	movies	are	empty	films	.	just	look	at	the	films	of	jackie	chan	or	bruce	lee	.	they	have	horrible	acting	and	essentially	no	direction	,	but	they	thrilled	the	hell	out	of	me	.	those	are	four	star	flicks	.	this	is	a	travesty	to	the	art	of	film	making	.	face	it	:	this	is	not	even	a	fun	movie	!	even	"	independence	day	"	,	as	bad	as	it	was	,	had	at	least	some	redeeming	qualities	.	this	has	nothing	.	and	what's	even	more	depressing	is	that	they	actually	could	have	taken	this	somewhere	if	they	had	just	written	a	decent	script	.	they	fx	are	fantastic	and	you	have	some	of	the	best	actors	and	actresses	working	in	hollywood	:	you've	got	bill	paxton	(	"	one	false	move	"	,	"	aliens	"	)	as	the	storm	chaser	turned	weather	man	;	jamie	gertz	(	who	was	great	in	"	sibling	rivalry	"	)	as	his	new	fiance	;	and	finally	alan	ruck	(	very	under	rated	;	just	look	at	"	ferris	bueller's	day	off	"	)	as	one	of	the	other	chasers	.	with	a	cast	like	that	,	you	should	at	least	have	a	two	and	a	half	to	three	star	movie	on	your	hands	.	well	,	jan	de	bont	(	fresh	off	of	"	speed	"	the	film	,	not	the	drug	)	screws	it	up	royaly	.	i'm	not	even	going	to	go	into	plot	details	'cause	you	all	know	what	it's	about	and	even	how	it's	gonna	end	.	it's	that	predictible	.	if	you	are	looking	for	a	good	action	adventure	film	to	rent	tonight	,	please	look	elsewhere	.	in	fact	,	if	you	want	a	good	action	film	,	you're	going	to	have	to	go	off	the	new	release	shelf	and	look	into	the	older	film	of	yesteryear	.	that	is	where	you	will	find	the	truly	great	action	films	:	"	aliens	"	,	"	lethal	weapon	"	,	"	the	killer	"	,	"	enter	the	dragon	"	,	"	jaws	"	or	even	(	dare	i	say	it	?	)	"	mortal	kombat	"	.	any	of	these	movies	are	better	than	this	,	or	anything	else	hollywood	has	put	out	recently	.	skip	it	.	check	out	jason	wallis'	filmaholics	anonymous	web	page	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	a
neg	for	more	movie	reviews	and	free	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	are	you	like	me	?	do	you	get	annoyed	seeing	people	talk	on	their	cellulars	in	public	places	,	shouting	out	loud	,	not	giving	a	ratt's	ass	about	anyone	around	them	,	and	basically	just	wallowing	in	their	own	self	importance	?	well	if	you	are	,	than	you	will	most	likely	agree	with	my	rating	of	this	film	since	it	basically	features	a	trio	of	annoying	ladies	bickering	away	on	the	phone	for	an	hour	and	a	half	.	.	.	only	to	make	up	and	hug	in	the	end	.	aaaaaaaahhhh	.	.	.	plot	:	three	grown	up	sisters	living	their	own	separate	lives	,	begin	to	re	establish	their	communication	lines	when	their	dear	old	dad	falls	ill	.	critique	:	this	would	be	a	good	movie	if	it	wasn't	for	the	fact	that	it's	got	very	little	to	say	,	features	uncaring	people	sharing	annoying	phone	conversations	,	is	chockfull	of	bad	acting	moments	and	provides	less	emotional	satisfaction	than	any	third	rate	after	school	special	.	and	i'm	being	nice	!	how	junk	like	this	gets	made	is	beyond	me	,	but	happy	am	i	that	the	ephron	sisters	will	finally	be	dealt	a	professional	blow	,	considering	the	regurgitation	level	of	their	material	had	just	about	reached	its	limit	.	the	only	true	emotional	moment	demonstrated	between	meg	ryan's	character	and	her	dad	in	this	film	is	when	he	hugs	her	and	swings	her	around	at	a	christmas	tree	lot	.	wow	.	.	.	how	deep	.	of	course	,	the	same	christmas	tune	that's	played	in	every	ephron	flick	chimes	out	in	the	background	,	while	characters	continue	to	build	"	bonds	"	among	one	another	by	making	reference	to	old	,	quaint	movies	or	movie	stars	.	stop	me	.	.	.	i'm	gonna	cry	again	!	this	film	is	a	mess	.	the	characters	are	boring	and	irritating	to	watch	,	the	plot	has	something	to	do	with	three	selfish	sisters	talking	on	the	phone	a	whole	lot	,	kind	of	liking	their	father	(	but	not	really	)	and	then	finally	realizing	the	error	of	their	ways	,	while	sharing	an	"	emotional	"	moment	about	movie	stars	from	the	50s	.	admittedly	,	i	was	not	expecting	much	from	a	film	whose	television	trailer	features	meg	ryan	screaming	every	two	seconds	and	a	big	dog	rolling	its	eyes	,	but	even	i	was	surprised	at	the	level	of	ineptitude	when	it	came	to	some	of	the	acting	efforts	put	forth	in	this	film	.	meg	did	fine	as	the	sister	who	cries	a	lot	,	looking	as	adorable	as	ever	,	but	someone	please	put	lisa	kudrow	inside	a	permanent	home	of	limited	range	,	cause	this	woman	basically	is	that	very	same	character	that	she	plays	in	every	single	movie	tv	show	that	she's	in	.	enough	already	!	and	diane	keaton	must've	spent	more	time	thinking	about	her	role	behind	the	camera	in	this	one	,	cause	her	acting	was	amateurish	at	best	.	neither	one	convinced	in	"	emotional	"	scenes	.	granted	,	they	gave	walter	matthau	the	best	lines	in	the	film	and	that's	probably	where	my	rating	of	three	points	comes	from	.	all	in	all	,	this	movie	is	not	funny	(	unless	you're	one	to	chuckle	at	train	wrecks	)	,	provides	zero	drama	(	unless	you	consider	loud	phone	conversations	moving	)	,	generates	absolutely	no	emotion	(	although	i	did	tear	up	when	meg	hugged	a	coffee	machine	)	and	ends	on	a	perfectly	pretentious	note	(	"	oh	no	,	please	don't	get	any	flour	on	my	donna	karan	dress	!	)	.	ugh	.	i	suggest	that	all	ladies	take	their	husbands	boyfriends	to	see	this	movie	if	they	are	pissed	off	at	them	about	something	!	that'll	teach	'em	to	mess	with	you	!	oh	and	incidentally	,	mrs	.	joblo	also	likened	this	movie	to	a	piece	of	cow	dung	flailing	in	the	wind	,	so	there	!	then	again	.	.	.	maybe	you'll	like	it	.	:	)
neg	kissing	a	fool	1	2	directed	by	doug	ellin	.	written	by	james	frey	and	ellin	from	a	story	by	frey	.	photography	,	thomas	del	ruth	.	productiondesign	,	charles	breen	.	editing	,	favid	finfer	.	music	,	joseph	vitarelli	.	cast	:	david	schimmer	(	max	abbitt	)	,	jason	lee	(	jay	murphy	)	,	mili	avital	(	samantha	andrews	)	,	bonnie	hunt	(	linda	)	,	vanesa	angel	(	natasha	)	,	et	al	.	a	universal	release	.	93	minutes	.	rated	r	(	strong	sexual	content	,	coarse	language	)	it	opens	with	some	beautiful	aerial	shots	of	chicago	to	the	sounds	a	song	(	written	and	sung	by	harry	connick	)	that	's	like	a	"	romantic	"	insipidity	,	a	throwback	to	several	generations	ago	.	a	wedding	is	taking	place	on	a	splendid	suburban	estate	.	right	away	,	the	film	starts	playing	transparent	,	cutesy	coy	little	"	guess	who	?	guess	what	?	"	games	with	the	audience	.	the	groom	is	not	identified	.	a	rather	tipsy	vulgarian	,	linda	(	hunt	)	seems	to	be	a	lesser	(	or	uninvited	)	guest	who	needs	to	talk	to	anybody	but	soon	reveals	that	she	is	the	hostess	,	the	owner	of	the	place	.	she	plays	her	game	with	an	unprepossessing	,	dumb	looking	fellow	and	his	fiancee	,	taunting	them	with	the	story	of	max	and	jay	.	it	comes	out	in	episodes	.	jay	and	max	have	been	best	friends	since	childhood	.	you	realize	instantly	the	artificiality	of	this	.	jay	,	a	sensitive	young	man	now	working	on	his	first	novel	,	cannot	get	over	his	having	been	dumped	by	his	girl	natasha	,	who	became	a	model	,	went	to	paris	,	was	and	still	is	a	tramp	.	an	unlikely	couple	and	another	artificial	situation	.	jay's	novel	is	based	on	his	experiences	.	some	book	!	max	is	a	popular	sportscaster	and	a	stud	.	when	it	comes	to	women	,	he	leaves	no	stone	unturned	.	he	is	a	foul	mouthed	egotist	.	he	has	no	aids	,	but	give	him	time	.	he	may	know	about	passes	,	in	football	games	or	in	bars	,	but	he	is	abysmally	uneducated	.	linda	(	see	above	)	is	a	wealthy	publisher	.	she	will	bring	out	jay's	book	,	and	assigns	to	him	samantha	(	israeli	actress	mili	avital	)	as	editor	,	.	jay	,	for	some	reason	,	persists	in	setting	up	a	date	between	sam	and	max	.	max	loudly	,	coarsely	and	volubly	refuses	,	but	jay	wins	.	cut	to	a	haggard	max	knocking	on	jay's	door	with	his	tale	of	woe	about	that	date	.	cut	to	sam	doing	ditto	with	a	diametrically	opposed	story	.	hey	,	this	might	turn	out	to	be	a	fin	de	siecle	"	rashomon	"	!	it's	not	.	it's	just	a	practical	joke	.	max	and	sam	have	fallen	in	love	instantly	and	plan	to	marry	.	never	mind	that	they	are	opposites	,	that	max	says	"	i	hate	books	,	she	hates	sports	.	"	never	mind	that	max	is	really	an	untraveled	yokel	and	sam	a	worldly	sophisticate	.	so	what's	the	answer	?	there	isn't	one	,	not	any	more	than	there's	a	key	to	the	impossible	friendship	between	the	artistic	jay	and	the	crass	max	.	i've	always	thought	that	the	"	opposites	attract	"	theory	is	mucho	hooey	.	max	moves	in	with	sam	.	three	weeks	later	,	he	gets	cold	feet	as	he	ponders	about	his	future	as	a	husband	and	probably	a	father	.	two	big	worries	.	number	one	is	expressed	:	will	sam	be	faithful	to	him	?	number	two	is	,	i	guess	,	subconscious	and	unexpressed	:	will	,	i	,	max	,	have	to	give	up	all	those	chicks	?	so	max	will	test	sam	.	so	max	will	ask	pal	jay	to	hit	on	sam	,	then	we'll	see	.	by	now	the	film	is	35	minutes	old	.	jay	,	that	decent	,	self	pitying	soul	,	won't	hear	of	it	.	but	somehow	,	as	he	works	closely	with	sam	on	his	book	,	he	falls	for	her	,	and	she	for	him	.	they	have	much	in	common	.	just	happens	they've	both	been	to	that	same	restaurant	in	a	small	italian	town	and	they	ooh	and	aah	about	it	.	and	other	such	things	.	conveniently	too	,	max	has	gone	to	detroit	on	an	assignment	.	with	a	girl	.	jay	and	sam	go	to	a	strip	bar	where	they	encounter	,	of	all	people	,	the	notorious	natasha	back	from	france	.	she	is	now	natassia	.	sam	,	getting	closer	and	closer	to	jay	,	plays	the	game	,	introduces	herself	as	claudette	.	jason	:	:	"	she	is	my	fiancee	.	"	that's	wishful	thinking	.	let's	cut	to	the	chase	.	there	are	3	way	confrontations	;	faithful	friend	jay	moves	to	new	york	;	max	moves	out	of	sam's	apartment	.	months	pass	.	jay's	book	is	a	big	hit	,	max	gets	jay	back	to	chicago	and	reunites	him	with	sam	.	we	return	to	the	framing	story	of	the	wedding	of	sam	and	jay	.	max	,	dancing	with	publisher	linda	,	tells	her	:	"	so	,	you	have	money	.	i	do	too	.	that's	good	.	"	the	end	a	crass	tale	?	yes	.	a	perverted	variant	and	great	grandchild	of	the	really	romantic	cyrano	story	?	perhaps	.	max	comes	to	terms	with	the	situation	during	jay's	stay	in	the	big	apple	,	after	he	(	the	i	hate	books	fellow	)	has	read	a	book	,	probably	the	only	one	in	his	life	,	a	gift	from	jay	.	another	colossal	improbability	.	the	leather	bound	volume	is	not	"	the	further	adventures	of	superman	"	or	"	sex	for	tv	personalities	"	but	"	maxims	,	"	by	the	great	french	moralist	la	rochefoucauld	(	1613	1680	)	.	give	us	a	break	!	who's	trying	to	impress	whom	with	"	cultcha	.	"	the	scriptwriters	showing	off	theirs	?	and	who	could	possibly	ever	but	ever	believe	that	the	cute	,	intelligent	,	educated	sam	would	fall	for	the	creep	max	?	and	who	could	possibly	ever	but	ever	doubt	,	that	sooner	or	later	jay	and	sam	would	become	an	item	?	or	,	for	that	matter	,	that	jay's	book	is	a	huge	best	seller	?	(	i	admit	that	this	is	less	of	a	stretch	than	the	rest	,	since	so	many	bad	novels	do	sell	well	)	.	now	,	the	curious	thing	is	that	this	dumb	movie	had	some	passing	attractions	and	did	often	keep	my	attention	.	unhealthy	curiosity	?	the	sights	and	sounds	of	chicago	?	good	photography	?	frankly	i	can't	tell	without	seeing	it	again	,	in	the	comfort	of	my	tv	screen	that	is	.	one	item	that	did	strike	me	is	the	magic	of	the	movies	.	not	special	effects	but	the	fact	that	mili	avital	looked	pretty	in	all	the	scenes	,	beautiful	in	others	,	very	beautiful	in	others	yet	.	amazing	what	lighting	,	makeup	,	camera	angles	,	clothing	and	such	can	do	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
neg	a	highly	intelligent	life	form	that	is	completely	electronic	in	nature	,	beams	itself	onto	a	russian	science	vessel	.	well	,	this	is	the	point	where	the	movie	strays	from	becoming	a	decent	and	original	movie	and	simply	becomes	a	predictable	sci	fi	thriller	.	anyhow	,	this	life	form	takes	control	of	the	computers	on	the	russian	vessel	then	starts	creating	highly	advanced	robots	to	help	it	in	its	gruesome	task	of	exterminating	the	virus'	known	as	man	.	the	original	crew	of	the	russian	vessel	is	all	but	exterminated	,	and	then	a	hapless	crew	on	a	tug	discovers	the	derelict	ship	and	tries	to	salvage	it	.	no	more	needs	to	be	said	as	to	what	happens	and	where	the	conflict	lies	,	the	movie	is	that	predictable	.	the	story	is	full	of	very	shallow	characters	that	don't	do	much	other	than	subsist	.	the	captain	of	the	tug	,	played	by	donald	sutherland	,	makes	irrational	choice	after	irrational	choice	leaving	the	audience	wondering	as	to	how	he	has	survived	long	enough	to	reach	his	age	(	looks	to	be	in	his	60's	)	.	to	add	to	this	we're	shown	this	motley	crew	that	at	times	seems	to	be	highly	skilled	in	specific	fields	,	and	at	others	seems	barely	capable	of	basic	tasks	.	some	of	the	supposed	capabilities	of	the	characters	leads	one	to	wonder	what	they	are	doing	on	a	tug	transporting	cargo	in	the	middle	of	the	pacific	,	in	a	typhoon	no	less	.	none	of	the	characters	seem	to	work	together	at	all	;	they	are	always	bickering	and	vying	for	some	form	of	control	.	this	makes	no	sense	what	so	ever	and	only	takes	away	from	the	story	,	a	story	that	is	full	of	holes	and	is	extremely	predictable	.	all	the	flaws	of	the	actual	story	are	only	helped	along	by	the	special	effects	.	the	waves	that	are	generated	to	be	part	of	the	typhoon	make	it	look	like	boat	was	is	small	model	sitting	in	a	tub	and	someone	is	simply	creating	waves	.	it	looks	genuinely	fake	,	granted	trying	to	recreate	a	typhoon	or	hurricane	cannot	be	easy	by	any	stretch	of	the	imagination	but	having	the	storm	approach	in	a	style	similar	to	the	huge	wave	of	deep	impact	only	ends	up	looking	corny	and	amateurish	.	also	on	the	topic	of	flaws	,	the	robotics	that	the	advanced	life	form	creates	seem	to	move	extremely	slowly	,	why	?	if	this	life	form	that	is	so	advanced	as	to	be	able	to	create	these	robotics	,	should	it	not	be	able	to	create	them	move	faster	?	regardless	,	the	special	effects	in	this	movie	in	many	cases	take	away	from	the	film	rather	than	add	to	it	.	as	to	the	actual	casting	for	the	movie	,	finally	there	is	nothing	to	complain	about	.	the	actors	were	superb	,	but	then	again	it	is	highly	doubtful	that	chimpanzees	would	have	had	difficulty	acting	the	roles	.	having	the	cast	that	was	present	probably	saved	this	movie	from	being	an	absolute	catastrophe	.	watching	these	actors	act	this	story	out	made	it	bearable	,	if	barely	.	the	one	saving	grace	of	this	movie	is	that	it	was	highly	action	packed	and	there	always	seemed	to	be	something	happening	.	so	if	you	are	going	into	this	movie	not	expecting	to	see	anything	grand	and	are	only	going	to	kill	some	time	and	watch	a	mediocre	sci	fi	thriller	then	you	won't	be	too	disappointed	.	as	the	movie	is	but	the	latest	in	a	genre	that	was	originally	created	by	aliens	,	it	does	little	more	than	try	to	cash	in	on	that	aspect	.	this	movie	would	be	best	left	for	video	and	even	then	you	might	be	advised	to	simply	wait	for	one	of	the	major	networks	to	air	it	on	tv	.
neg	mr	.	bean	,	a	bumbling	security	guard	from	england	is	sent	to	la	to	help	with	the	grandiose	homecoming	of	a	masterpiece	american	painting	.	the	first	two	words	should	have	said	enough	to	let	you	know	what	occurs	during	bean's	trip	to	la	,	but	if	they	didn't	look	out	because	you	are	in	for	a	rather	interesting	if	not	odd	ride	.	heck	depending	on	your	humor	you	might	end	up	laughing	through	the	whole	flick	.	either	way	look	out	america	bean	is	coming	.	well	,	what	can	really	be	said	about	this	movie	,	there	is	very	little	discernible	plot	.	that	much	is	not	hard	to	grapple	with	for	it	is	a	slapstick	comedy	.	it	achieves	that	goal	rather	admirably	,	but	because	it	is	that	,	the	plot	is	just	screaming	for	help	.	the	whole	premise	that	the	movie	is	based	on	is	to	say	the	least	flawed	.	the	movie	had	its	funny	moments	but	there	was	no	real	story	line	other	than	something	that	could	be	thought	up	on	a	whim	and	carried	through	and	in	many	causes	ad	libbed	as	you	went	.	don't	go	into	this	movie	expecting	and	theatrical	masterpiece	.	but	if	this	form	of	humor	floats	your	boat	then	you	will	truly	enjoy	this	movie	,	even	if	you	don't	like	slapstick	style	humor	you	will	end	up	laughing	because	something's	are	just	so	stupid	.	the	movie	goes	out	and	accomplishes	what	it	aims	,	or	so	it	seems	.	now	when	you	look	at	the	acting	in	this	movie	you	have	to	think	about	two	things	,	first	was	there	any	real	acting	and	how	hard	is	it	to	act	in	the	slapstick	manner	.	well	,	there	was	no	real	acting	in	this	movie	but	some	of	the	slapstick	wasn't	the	easiest	i	am	sure	.	i	have	to	concede	that	mr	.	atkinson's	acting	in	this	movie	is	well	done	.	although	the	role	isn't	too	demanding	the	slapstick	is	.	i	think	that	the	character	could	have	had	a	bit	more	dialogue	,	it	would	have	added	quite	a	bit	to	the	overall	effect	of	the	movie	.	now	the	rest	of	the	actors	in	the	movie	,	bad	acting	and	poor	casting	.	i	think	that	the	role	opposite	bean	could	have	been	better	,	just	seemed	wrong	for	the	movie	.	a	different	actor	might	have	done	a	better	job	of	it	but	i	wont	presume	that	wasn't	what	was	trying	to	be	achieved	.	one	thing	that	i	must	say	,	simply	to	get	if	off	my	chest	is	that	i	think	transferring	a	sitcom	to	tv	usually	produces	rather	disastrous	results	.	tv	shows	should	do	just	that	stay	on	tv	,	it	will	probably	save	some	producers	from	getting	ulcers	.	i	can	only	think	of	a	couple	examples	of	tv	going	to	the	big	screen	effectively	,	the	best	known	of	those	would	have	to	be	star	trek	.	bean	seriously	fails	to	accomplish	anything	close	to	what	that	series	gone	movie	achieved	.	now	another	thing	that	i	have	to	state	again	is	this	movie	has	narrowed	its	target	audience	fairly	tightly	.	the	form	of	humor	in	this	movie	will	not	be	liked	by	most	people	,	these	people	will	think	like	i	did	that	this	movie	is	stupid	and	pointless	.	but	if	you	like	the	tv	show	you	might	actually	like	this	movie	.	but	to	be	on	the	safe	side	i	am	opting	to	recommend	you	save	your	money	and	not	go	to	see	this	movie	.	there	are	many	movies	that	are	truly	worth	seeing	unlike	this	one	.
neg	not	to	be	confused	with	that	bruce	willis	ghost	story	,	the	five	senses	is	more	along	the	lines	of	kieslowski	lite	.	the	lives	of	five	canadians	are	connected	by	the	sensations	of	touch	,	taste	,	smell	,	sound	,	and	sight	.	they	all	reside	in	the	same	apartment	complex	,	not	unlike	the	lost	souls	wandering	through	the	decalogue	.	each	of	the	protagonists	are	faced	with	a	glib	moral	crisis	which	must	be	resolved	during	the	seemingly	endless	hour	and	forty	five	minute	running	time	.	ruth	,	a	professional	massage	therapist	(	gabrielle	rose	,	the	sweet	hereafter	)	,	uses	the	sensation	of	touch	get	it	?	to	heal	a	wounded	relationship	with	her	daughter's	former	teacher	(	molly	parker	,	who	saw	,	smelled	,	tasted	,	and	touched	dead	people	in	kissed	)	.	sexy	young	socialite	rona	(	mary	louise	parker	,	fried	green	tomatoes	)	is	able	to	communicate	with	her	hot	italian	lover	(	marco	leonardi	)	,	who	can't	speak	a	word	of	english	,	through	the	magic	of	delicious	food	and	,	of	course	,	some	really	great	sex	.	you	can	cross	taste	off	of	your	mental	checklist	,	folks	.	on	and	on	we	go	.	there's	the	crimes	and	misdemeanors	bit	with	the	sensitive	young	eye	doctor	(	philippe	volter	,	the	double	life	of	veronique	)	who	is	going	deaf	.	not	blind	.	deaf	.	cue	the	orchestra	.	i	can	already	hear	fifty	violins	crying	out	to	god	.	that	covers	both	sight	and	sound	,	doesn't	it	?	most	ridiculous	is	the	story	of	a	happy	go	lucky	bisexual	house	cleaner	(	daniel	macivor	)	who	,	undergoing	a	crisis	of	love	,	sets	up	a	series	of	dates	where	he	proceeds	to	smell	his	former	romantic	partners	.	ooo	la	la	!	throw	in	a	subplot	about	a	missing	child	,	and	you've	got	some	serious	drama	.	writer	director	jeremy	podeswa	approaches	his	story	with	solemnity	which	errs	on	the	side	of	pretentiousness	.	the	heavy	handed	themes	are	so	broad	and	predictable	that	the	five	senses	induces	laughs	in	all	the	wrong	places	.	the	clean	,	austere	shots	are	more	revelatory	in	showing	how	disconnected	and	empty	these	lives	are	,	but	that	canadian	sense	of	detachment	is	familiar	from	atom	egoyan's	stronger	portraits	of	loneliness	.	exotica	comes	immediately	to	mind	,	but	the	difference	between	podeswa	and	egoyan	is	that	the	five	senses	isn't	about	character	or	even	emotion	,	but	about	ideas	.	that's	a	mistake	when	you're	crafting	a	movie	about	human	interaction	no	amount	of	egghead	theory	will	make	you	care	a	fig	about	whether	or	not	the	housecleaner	will	find	true	love	.	mary	louise	parker	brings	a	clever	sensuality	to	her	role	,	whether	flirting	with	leonardi	or	grousing	about	her	lousy	lot	to	macivor	.	she	surpasses	the	generation	x	"	am	i	after	love	or	just	sex	?	"	dialogue	by	making	her	character	decidedly	feral	and	bitchy	.	you	wouldn't	want	to	date	this	vixen	past	a	one	night	stand	,	but	she	makes	for	a	lively	character	in	an	otherwise	ponderous	piece	of	art	house	snobbery	.
neg	starring	:	stephen	baldwin	,	chris	penn	,	gina	gershon	,	michael	mcgloneunfortunately	it	doesn't	get	much	more	formulaic	than	one	tough	cop	.	there's	the	renegade	cop	with	the	loser	partner	who	has	to	many	problems	to	explain	.	the	renegade	has	to	prove	his	good	name	and	is	trapped	between	the	good	guys	,	the	bad	guys	and	some	woman	who	really	has	nothing	to	do	with	the	story	other	than	being	there	for	the	purpose	of	providing	sex	for	the	hero	in	the	middle	of	the	film	.	bo	dietl	(	pronounced	deedle	,	baldwin	)	is	one	tough	cop	,	a	guy	who	is	being	investigated	by	hardass	fbi	agents	due	to	his	association	with	the	ny	mafia	.	on	top	of	that	problem	,	he	has	a	drunk	,	gambling	addicted	partner	(	penn	)	who	has	a	penchant	for	collecting	parking	tickets	(	i	guess	cops	aren't	immune	?	)	.	then	,	throw	into	the	mix	the	femme	fatale	(	gershon	)	.	right	there	you	have	plenty	of	ammo	for	a	decent	cop	drama	.	but	right	in	the	middle	of	the	film	,	they	throw	in	a	completely	un	related	plot	point	.	dietl	and	his	partner	duke	try	to	solve	a	case	that	they	have	been	warned	to	stay	away	from	.	the	film	spends	over	half	an	hour	tracking	the	case	of	a	nun	who	was	beaten	and	raped	to	near	death	.	once	the	case	is	solved	,	the	film	shifts	focus	back	to	the	mafia	issue	.	whatever	neat	mesh	the	screenwriter	wanted	to	create	between	the	two	stories	failed	miserably	.	aside	from	being	asked	to	accept	michael	mcglone	as	a	mafioso	(	an	insult	if	you	ask	me	)	the	performances	were	pretty	good	.	baldwin	,	though	he	occasionally	slips	into	an	impression	of	his	brother	alec	,	does	a	fine	job	as	one	tough	cop	.	penn	,	who	also	slips	into	an	impression	of	his	brother	sean	,	is	even	better	as	a	loser	tough	guy	cop	.	what	one	tough	cop	lacks	is	originality	.	this	film	offers	nothing	new	.	nothing	that	you	can't	get	from	any	cop	film	.	it	screams	sidney	lumet	all	over	the	place	,	perhaps	because	it	was	produced	by	marty	and	michael	bregman	,	producers	of	lumet's	dog	day	afternoon	and	serpico	.	but	even	the	masterful	sidney	would	not	have	been	able	to	make	one	tough	cop	into	a	good	film	.	too	much	else	is	lacking	.	i	also	saw	the	boom	mic	pop	into	the	top	of	the	frame	twice	early	on	in	the	picture	,	something	that	i	almost	never	notice	.	but	once	i	saw	that	,	i	had	it	in	the	back	of	my	mind	every	time	i	saw	a	medium	or	long	shot	.	at	times	,	i	was	hoping	to	see	it	.	one	tough	cop	isn't	laughable	,	nor	is	it	a	terrible	film	,	but	it	just	isn't	unique	.	it	is	a	classic	example	of	a	film	that	didn't	need	to	be	made	.	but	one	thing	is	for	sure	,	it	could	really	use	a	better	title	.
neg	if	there	were	a	subject	just	screaming	to	be	made	into	a	film	,	it	was	studio	54	,	the	late	steve	rubell's	infamous	new	york	discotheque	,	which	came	to	symbolize	the	taboo	smashing	excesses	of	the	disco	era's	heyday	:	easy	drugs	and	even	easier	sex	between	everyone	,	all	set	to	a	thumping	dance	beat	.	so	when	miramax	started	production	on	_	54	_	last	year	,	the	buzz	of	hype	and	resulting	anticipation	began	:	an	edgy	film	as	down	and	dirty	as	the	club	itself	,	written	and	directed	by	a	promising	first	timer	(	mark	christopher	)	and	starring	some	hot	young	talent	(	salma	hayek	,	neve	campbell	,	newcomer	ryan	phillippe	,	and	mike	myers	in	his	dramatic	debut	)	.	my	,	how	easily	does	the	worm	turn	.	hype	turned	into	damage	control	when	word	got	out	about	11th	hour	reshoots	(	wrapped	only	a	month	ago	)	,	a	rash	of	studio	imposed	edits	that	left	virtually	the	entire	cast	and	crew	(	especially	christopher	)	unhappy	,	and	the	very	likely	possibility	that	miramax	would	not	screen	the	finished	film	for	critics	.	at	the	last	minute	,	though	,	miramax	did	decide	to	screen	the	film	(	so	hastily	scheduled	was	the	screening	that	myers's	last	name	was	misspelled	on	the	invitation	,	not	to	mention	the	numerous	typos	in	the	press	notes	)	for	a	media	audience	that	came	away	noticeably	less	than	impressed	,	myself	included	.	and	with	good	reason	somehow	,	some	way	,	the	supremely	disappointing	_	54	_	has	made	the	historically	hip	haven	of	hedonism	.	.	.	boring	.	although	christopher	has	distanced	himself	from	the	finished	film	,	he	still	must	shoulder	some	of	the	blame	for	_	54	_	's	lifelessness	.	_	54	_	focuses	,	for	the	most	part	,	on	a	tight	knit	trio	of	employees	at	the	club	:	coat	check	girl	aspiring	disco	diva	anita	(	a	wasted	hayek	)	;	her	busboy	husband	,	greg	(	breckin	meyer	)	;	and	,	most	prominently	,	the	fresh	from	jersey	shane	o'shea	(	phillippe	)	,	who	enjoys	a	quick	rise	from	busboy	to	head	bartender	.	these	characters	are	about	as	generic	as	those	descriptions	.	in	focusing	on	the	hired	help	,	christopher	really	missed	the	boat	.	with	the	exception	of	the	flamboyant	,	always	woozy	rubell	(	myers	,	in	a	well	modulated	turn	)	,	the	meaty	stories	to	be	told	at	studio	54	are	not	the	workers'	but	those	of	the	people	who	went	there	to	party	;	not	necessarily	the	numerous	vip	guests	,	but	the	wild	eccentrics	who	managed	to	be	picked	from	the	crowd	by	the	club's	famously	hard	ass	doormen	and	dance	(	among	other	things	)	the	night	away	with	the	rich	,	famous	,	and	infamous	(	the	only	taste	of	the	crowd	comes	by	way	of	ellen	dow's	feisty	dottie	,	a	disco	and	drug	crazed	granny	,	but	she's	a	peripheral	character	at	best	)	.	as	such	,	aside	from	the	expected	overhead	crowd	shots	,	there	is	precious	little	actual	_	dancing	_	in	_	54	_	.	what	is	a	disco	film	especially	one	about	the	pinnacle	of	the	movement	without	the	dancing	?	even	whit	stillman's	_	the	_	last	_	days	_	of	_	disco	_	,	which	wasn't	so	much	concerned	with	disco	as	it	was	witty	dialogue	within	a	group	of	hip	to	only	themselves	club	hopping	preppies	,	featured	at	least	one	extended	dance	scene	.	dancing	isn't	the	only	thing	glazed	over	in	_	54	_	so	is	the	sex	,	but	that	may	not	be	entirely	christopher's	fault	.	from	what	i've	heard	,	his	original	vision	was	something	considerably	more	dark	and	daring	,	starting	with	the	shane	character	:	he	was	conceived	(	and	actually	filmed	)	as	a	wild	,	morally	ambiguous	bisexual	,	which	would	have	made	an	efficient	springboard	to	cover	the	pansexual	pleasure	palace	aspect	of	studio	54's	legend	.	but	somewhere	between	principal	photography	and	the	final	cut	,	shane	was	defanged	and	quite	literally	straightened	out	;	consequently	,	so	was	the	film	.	aside	from	a	brief	glimpse	of	erotic	encounters	toward	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	shane's	fleeting	dalliance	with	seductive	socialite	billie	(	sela	ward	)	,	and	an	abbreviated	bedhopping	montage	,	the	sexual	dimension	is	just	about	ignored	.	shane	,	in	this	incarnation	,	is	sanitized	to	the	point	of	blandness	,	an	idealistic	do	gooder	who	pines	for	a	frequent	guest	at	the	club	,	julie	black	(	campbell	)	,	a	worldly	soap	star	with	,	yes	,	a	heart	of	gold	.	this	tacked	on	"	romance	"	would	have	been	slightly	less	tedious	if	either	campbell	or	phillippe	made	some	connection	with	each	other	or	the	audience	.	they	fail	on	both	counts	.	ultimately	,	_	54	_	's	failure	comes	down	to	three	letters	:	f	u	n	.	as	in	,	there	isn't	any	to	be	had	for	the	audience	.	too	much	time	is	spent	with	the	boring	shane	,	and	too	little	is	spent	on	the	club	floor	,	where	all	the	action	took	place	.	anyhow	,	though	,	whatever	time	is	spent	on	the	54	floor	is	not	used	very	effectively	.	when	anita	finally	gets	her	big	break	and	perform	onstage	at	the	club	,	it	should	be	a	euphoric	height	,	for	her	,	the	crowd	,	and	the	audience	;	however	,	the	moment	doesn't	get	a	chance	to	reach	that	level	,	for	it	is	cut	short	by	a	moment	of	forced	sentimentality	,	which	also	mars	the	film's	conclusion	(	one	of	the	last	minute	reshoots	)	.	strangely	upbeat	and	wistful	,	the	resolution	is	wholly	unconvincing	and	unsatisfying	.	there	is	an	interesting	portrait	of	studio	54	out	there	two	of	them	,	in	fact	but	_	54	_	is	not	one	of	them	.	they're	on	cable	tv	:	a	couple	of	documentaries	produced	by	e	!	and	vh1	.	these	two	fascinating	looks	at	the	club	and	all	the	sordid	goings	on	within	it	show	that	there's	still	a	great	disco	movie	to	be	made	.	the	problem	is	,	after	the	critical	and	certain	box	office	failure	of	_	54	_	,	the	subject	may	have	run	its	hollywood	course	.
neg	the	"	fab	4	"	of	ronald	reagan	high	are	four	stuck	up	girls	,	played	by	rose	mcgowan	,	rebecca	gayheart	,	julie	benz	and	charlotte	roldan	,	who	overdress	like	4	posh	spice	wannabes	.	their	daily	ritual	is	to	parade	up	and	down	the	school	halls	like	royalty	,	and	their	constant	reflex	action	is	to	grab	their	compacts	so	they	can	check	their	make	up	and	powder	their	cheeks	.	under	no	circumstances	will	they	ever	let	themselves	be	seen	eating	in	public	.	in	writer	and	director	darren	stein's	jawbreaker	,	it	isn't	as	funny	as	it	sounds	.	in	fact	,	it	isn't	funny	at	all	.	stein	has	taken	the	black	comedy	of	a	teen	movie	like	heathers	and	stripped	it	of	any	intelligence	,	wit	or	charm	.	his	actresses	toss	off	their	lines	so	fast	that	they	don't	have	time	to	add	any	emotion	.	and	all	of	his	female	characters	have	considerably	more	lipstick	than	brains	.	the	setup	for	the	movie	has	one	of	the	fab	4	,	liz	,	who	is	referred	to	as	"	the	princess	di	of	reagan	high	,	"	be	killed	when	a	prank	by	the	other	3	goes	wrong	.	the	princess	di	reference	is	in	bad	taste	,	as	is	much	of	the	movie	.	granted	,	bad	taste	can	sometimes	be	funny	,	but	the	mere	presence	of	bad	taste	doesn't	guarantee	it	.	liz's	girlfriends	stick	a	jawbreaker	that	is	literally	larger	than	a	golf	ball	in	her	mouth	,	tape	her	mouth	shut	,	and	stick	her	bound	body	in	the	trunk	of	a	car	.	when	they	open	the	trunk	later	,	liz	is	dead	.	they	eventually	put	her	blue	and	bruised	body	into	a	sexual	position	and	make	it	look	like	liz	was	the	victim	of	a	brutal	rape	.	these	realistic	and	disgusting	scenes	of	a	dead	,	seminude	teen	have	a	pornographic	feeling	that	is	hard	to	forget	and	will	likely	turn	the	stomach	of	many	a	viewer	.	the	film's	dialog	not	only	isn't	funny	,	it's	trite	.	one	nerdy	young	girl	introduces	herself	with	"	my	name	is	fern	mayo	,	as	in	hold	the	mayo	.	"	when	fern	discovers	what	has	happened	,	the	fab	3	make	her	an	offer	she	can't	refuse	make	up	!	they	cake	it	on	her	and	welcome	her	to	the	clan	.	the	parents	in	the	movie	brag	about	learning	parenting	skills	from	watching	oprah	.	the	teachers	fare	no	better	,	especially	in	the	ridiculous	lines	they	are	given	.	"	miss	shayne	,	please	cover	your	bosom	,	"	one	young	teacher	,	who	has	been	made	up	to	look	old	and	ugly	,	says	without	any	conviction	.	"	this	is	a	learning	institution	,	not	a	brothel	.	"	besides	the	obvious	question	of	why	this	movie	was	ever	made	,	there	is	one	other	question	that	i'd	like	to	ask	the	director	.	why	do	you	have	a	phone	number	start	with	555	if	you	going	to	cover	the	rest	of	the	number	anyway	?	in	a	cameo	,	pam	grier	plays	detective	vera	cruz	,	who	investigates	liz's	murder	.	as	she	interrogates	the	other	people	,	she	stares	at	them	like	they	are	all	idiots	,	proving	that	she	is	the	only	one	that	gets	it	.	i	am	sure	that	if	the	hard	nosed	detective	cruz	were	to	see	this	movie	,	she'd	walk	out	after	about	5	minutes	,	and	you'd	be	well	advised	to	do	the	same	if	you	should	happen	to	find	yourself	in	a	theater	showing	it	.	jawbreaker	runs	1	:	27	.	it	is	rated	r	for	violence	,	gore	,	profanity	and	sex	.	i	would	advise	everyone	to	avoid	it	,	but	if	teenagers	go	they	should	be	older	and	mature	.	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	"	steve	.	rhodes	internetreviews	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	internetreviews	.	com
neg	starring	adam	sandler	,	joey	lauren	adams	and	josh	mostel	directed	by	dennis	dugan	running	time	:	1	hour	33	minutes	adam	sandler	vehicles	are	never	anything	special	,	but	continue	to	make	a	load	of	money	.	which	really	goes	to	show	the	sad	state	of	cinema	today	.	while	good	comedies	like	rushmore	,	to	choose	a	recent	example	,	gets	limited	release	and	doesn't	make	a	lot	of	money	,	big	daddy	got	a	huge	release	and	has	made	a	lot	of	cash	.	it's	also	nothing	special	and	doesn't	deserve	the	money	it's	making	.	but	i	digress	.	sandler	plays	sonny	koufax	,	a	unemployed	new	yorker	with	a	seemingly	low	mental	age	.	his	girlfriend	makes	a	ultimatum	to	him	:	either	wise	up	and	get	responsible	,	or	she's	leaving	him	.	by	a	strange	set	of	events	,	koufax	ends	up	with	julian	(	played	by	twins	cole	and	dylan	sprouse	)	a	five	year	old	kid	.	after	a	failed	attempt	to	impress	his	girlfriend	with	the	child	,	koufax	decides	he	wants	to	keep	the	child	.	however	,	social	worker	mr	brooks	(	mostel	)	finds	out	that	koufax	isn't	the	real	father	and	wants	to	take	julian	back	.	koufax	along	with	his	new	girlfriend	layla	(	lauren	adams	)	fight	to	keep	the	child	.	big	daddy	really	isn't	that	good	.	many	of	the	jokes	revolve	around	toilet	humour	,	and	supposedly	we	are	meant	to	find	julian	and	sonny	peeing	against	a	wall	to	be	funny	.	there's	the	occasional	good	one	liner	,	but	these	are	usually	strangely	delivered	wrong	and	lose	most	of	the	humour	.	the	film	,	after	all	these	silly	gags	,	then	suddenly	turns	sentimental	,	and	this	is	where	big	daddy	really	goes	from	bad	to	hideous	.	the	court	scene	at	the	end	of	the	film	is	useless	and	unbelievable	,	and	not	helped	by	the	soppy	overacting	.	it's	a	poor	attempt	to	win	over	the	audience	.	adam	sandler	basically	plays	the	same	role	he	has	in	his	last	few	films	(	except	the	wedding	singer	.	)	joey	lauren	adams	is	much	,	much	better	,	and	deserves	a	far	better	film	than	this	trash	.	steve	buscemi	pops	up	in	a	funny	cameo	,	and	his	scenes	are	pretty	funny	.	rob	schneider	is	also	funny	as	a	crazy	delivery	man	.	the	two	twins	who	play	julian	are	o	.	k	,	they	start	out	rather	well	,	but	then	becoming	annoying	and	brattish	halfway	through	and	finally	turn	'all	american'	wholesome	goodness	at	the	end	of	the	film	,	where	the	tear	juice	is	turned	up	high	.	big	daddy	is	really	nothing	special	,	and	is	not	even	worth	it	for	a	few	chuckles	.	although	it	is	actually	well	put	together	,	with	nice	direction	,	good	production	design	and	even	some	montages	,	this	professionalism	can't	help	the	fact	that	the	script	and	characters	are	trash	.	big	daddy	is	for	die	hard	fans	of	sandler	,	and	that's	about	it	.
neg	(	1995	)	1	2	c	:	eric	roberts	,	lance	henriksen	,	brion	james	.	a	victor	salva	film	.	victor	salva	.	hmmm	.	why	does	that	sound	so	familiar	to	me	?	victor	salva	.	nope	,	i	can't	quite	place	it	.	we	learn	early	in	the	film	that	there	are	two	criminals	on	the	loose	.	one	has	stolen	money	from	the	mob	,	and	one	is	killing	everyone	he	comes	into	contact	with	,	calling	himself	"	hatchet	man	"	.	he's	called	"	hatchet	man	"	because	he	likes	to	chop	up	his	victims	into	little	tiny	pieces	using	his	hatchet	,	obviously	.	the	two	main	characters	(	the	two	only	characters	really	)	meet	up	and	drive	around	the	desert	,	stopping	in	hotels	and	diners	along	the	way	.	roberts	,	as	an	intense	drug	addict	,	feels	as	though	he	has	bonded	with	businessman	henriksen	(	who	for	some	reason	wears	a	really	fake	looking	padded	stomach	to	make	it	look	like	his	character	has	a	pot	belly	)	,	and	will	not	let	him	wander	from	his	site	as	they	travel	through	the	desert	in	henriksen's	new	company	car	,	each	alluding	to	the	fact	that	they	know	who	the	other	person	is	.	"	the	nature	of	the	beast	"	is	a	letdown	,	and	it	seems	that	writer	director	victor	salva	has	no	idea	how	to	make	a	film	,	whoever	he	is	.	one	big	mistake	with	the	film	is	the	casting	.	eric	roberts	is	perfectly	cast	in	his	role	of	the	shady	,	dusty	drifter	,	but	lance	henriksen	is	not	the	right	man	for	his	character	.	you	see	,	the	script	depends	on	the	fact	that	this	character	be	played	by	an	actor	who	can	portray	a	bewildered	business	man	type	character	and	henriksen	has	played	one	too	many	psychos	in	his	career	to	be	able	to	revert	back	to	this	kind	of	part	.	he	seems	demented	from	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	which	makes	you	start	to	think	more	along	the	lines	of	the	"	surprise	"	plot	twist	,	which	if	you	have	only	a	thimble	full	of	brains	you'll	be	able	to	figure	out	.	victor	salva	.	wait	!	i	know	!	he's	that	guy	who	worked	with	the	"	rat	pack	"	films	along	with	sinatra	and	dean	martin	!	oh	,	no	that	was	henry	silva	.	hmmm	,	well	who	is	this	victor	salva	guy	?	it's	during	the	last	twenty	minutes	or	so	when	the	film	completely	falls	apart	.	the	"	surprise	"	that	you	already	know	and	are	completely	ready	for	,	is	just	presented	on	screen	casually	with	no	attempt	to	make	it	a	startling	revelation	.	then	at	one	point	,	henriksen	has	gotten	so	sick	of	roberts'	drug	use	that	he	ties	him	to	a	chair	,	injects	him	with	a	mix	of	heroin	,	cocaine	,	and	alcohol	and	then	watches	him	die	.	he	then	buries	him	and	goes	about	his	business	.	now	about	six	hours	later	,	roberts	digs	his	way	out	of	his	grave	,	perfectly	ok	.	he	then	confronts	henriksen	and	starts	confessing	to	him	that	he's	the	devil	and	well	,	you	can't	kill	the	devil	now	can	you	?	but	,	maybe	he	is	the	devil	and	then	again	maybe	not	.	needless	to	say	,	none	of	it	makes	any	sense	.	and	the	final	confrontation	makes	you	care	about	the	outcome	just	like	if	you	were	watching	a	serial	rapist	and	a	child	molestor	fight	each	other	.	child	molestor	!	that's	it	!	victor	salva	is	that	guy	who	was	convicted	of	molesting	the	child	star	of	his	previous	film	"	clownhouse	!	"	i	knew	i	knew	his	name	.	his	crimes	are	the	reason	i	will	never	watch	"	powder	"	,	because	there	are	much	more	talented	directors	out	there	who	aren't	working	who	have	not	been	convicted	of	sexual	misconduct	with	little	boys	and	who	deserve	the	opportunity	to	work	much	more	than	this	twisted	pervert	.	man	,	i	wish	i	had	put	things	together	before	i	sat	through	this	mess	.	lance	henriksen	is	credited	as	"	creative	consultant	"	during	the	end	credits	of	the	film	.	he	must	have	thought	up	the	idea	of	the	fake	stomach	.	have	a	question	or	comment	?	email	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	southeast	.	net	"	chuckd21	southeast	.	net	a	chuck	dowling	visit	chuck's	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	over	1	,	500	movies	rated	and	or	reviewed	!	movie	news	,	box	office	reports	,	film	related	links	,	and	reader's	polls	and	reviews	.
neg	besides	being	the	longest	title	of	a	movie	i've	reviewed	so	far	(	only	because	i	was	indisposed	both	days	don't	be	a	menace	to	south	central	while	drinking	your	juice	in	the	hood	was	in	theaters	)	,	everything	you	always	.	.	.	is	also	the	only	movie	in	this	book	based	on	a	sex	manual	.	i	should	know	from	the	ages	of	twelve	to	fourteen	,	every	time	i	was	in	the	library	,	i'd	sneak	up	to	the	612	.	6	(	by	the	dewey	decimal	system	)	section	of	the	stacks	and	grab	up	dr	.	david	reuben's	sex	book	,	only	after	i	was	sure	no	one	was	looking	.	it	was	from	that	book	i	turned	my	warped	,	misinformed	view	of	sex	into	something	even	more	mangled	and	twisted	.	so	naturally	i	was	interested	to	see	how	woody	allen	,	the	world's	most	talented	sex	pervert	,	had	adapted	hundreds	of	pages	of	dry	,	clinical	sex	talk	into	a	comedy	.	the	answer	lies	in	the	fact	that	this	is	an	incredibly	loose	adaptation	of	the	book	.	all	woody	did	was	take	a	few	of	the	chapter	title	questions	and	turn	them	into	separate	vignettes	.	for	a	sex	movie	,	though	,	everything	you	.	.	.	reaches	its	climax	awfully	early	,	is	impotent	for	about	half	an	hour	,	gives	us	a	tease	of	foreplay	,	then	goes	into	two	more	satisfying	climaxes	before	we	all	have	a	smoke	during	the	end	credits	and	bask	in	the	afterglow	of	what	we've	seen	.	since	everything	.	.	.	is	such	an	uneven	movie	,	i'm	rating	each	segment	individually	.	for	those	of	you	who	don't	have	calculators	,	the	average	rating	for	each	segment	was	2	.	43	stars	,	rounded	up	to	two	and	a	half	for	an	overall	rating	of	the	film	.	"	do	aphrodisiacs	work	?	"	(	1	2	)	the	movie's	funniest	segment	,	with	woody	playing	the	jester	in	a	dark	ages	court	.	woody	finds	himself	hot	for	the	queen	,	who	returns	his	feelings	after	he	sneaks	past	two	soldiers	and	slips	her	a	mickey	.	(	that's	m	i	c	k	e	y	.	why	?	because	he	likes	her	.	)	comedy	abounds	from	multiple	situations	,	from	woody	trying	to	unlock	the	queen's	chastity	belt	as	fast	as	he	can	(	"	before	you	know	it	,	the	renaissance	will	be	here	and	we'll	all	be	painting	.	"	)	to	the	scene	where	he	tries	to	entertain	the	court	with	some	awful	jokes	.	(	"	tb	or	not	tb	?	that	is	the	congestion	.	"	)	"	what	is	sodomy	?	"	(	)	a	video	of	actual	sodomy	wouldn't	be	too	much	less	entertaining	than	what	woody	gives	us	here	,	a	sketch	about	a	doctor	(	gene	wilder	)	who	falls	in	love	with	a	sheep	(	yes	,	a	sheep	)	.	it's	more	tasteless	than	funny	,	and	is	actually	played	straight	most	of	the	time	,	with	the	only	mild	laughs	coming	when	a	depressed	wilder	drinks	woolite	from	the	bottle	and	caresses	his	lamb's	wool	sweater	.	"	why	do	some	women	have	trouble	reaching	orgasm	?	"	(	)	woody	ignores	the	obvious	answer	(	because	they're	having	sex	with	_	him	_	!	)	and	instead	plays	a	harrowed	italian	husband	whose	frigid	wife	(	louise	lasser	)	can	only	become	aroused	by	having	intercourse	in	public	places	.	the	entire	segment	is	in	subtitles	and	is	mostly	unfunny	,	a	frigid	piece	of	comedy	.	"	are	transvestites	homosexuals	?	"	(	1	2	)	even	more	one	joke	than	the	last	segment	,	lou	jacobi	gets	caught	wearing	a	dress	outside	.	that's	about	it	.	"	what	are	sex	perverts	?	"	(	1	2	)	instead	of	just	flashing	his	picture	onscreen	and	moving	on	,	woody	recreates	a	"	what's	my	line	?	"	takeoff	entitled	"	what's	my	perversion	?	"	where	panelists	(	including	regis	philbin	,	who	himself	fantasizes	about	spanking	kathie	lee	)	must	ask	questions	to	discover	the	contestant's	perversion	.	this	segment	is	interesting	rather	than	funny	,	due	to	woody's	convincing	recreation	of	badly	preserved	kinescope	reels	and	use	of	game	show	host	jack	barry	as	himself	.	"	are	the	findings	of	doctors	and	clinics	who	do	sexual	research	and	experiments	accurate	?	"	(	)	woody	plays	an	apprentice	sex	doctor	(	and	author	of	the	book	"	advanced	sexual	positions	:	how	to	achieve	them	without	laughing	"	)	who	must	stop	a	giant	breast	(	"	about	4	,	000	in	an	x	cup	"	)	from	destroying	life	as	we	know	it	.	this	one	is	funny	until	he	crosses	the	taste	line	by	having	the	breast	squirt	milk	at	its	victims	.	"	what	happens	during	ejaculation	?	"	(	1	2	)	this	one	takes	us	inside	the	male	body	,	which	is	depicted	as	a	giant	control	center	where	little	men	in	white	suits	(	including	burt	reynolds	and	tony	randall	)	control	every	activity	of	the	body	.	here	,	as	the	erection	is	cranked	up	by	sweaty	manual	laborers	,	nervous	sperm	woody	prepares	to	be	shot	out	of	the	body	.	creative	and	funny	,	a	good	climax	to	a	movie	that	starts	out	with	a	bang	,	lays	limp	for	awhile	and	regains	its	momentum	toward	the	end	.
neg	"	saving	silverman	"	is	a	good	example	of	a	good	comedy	gone	bad	.	as	a	love	story	it	is	good	,	however	as	a	comedy	it	falls	flat	on	it's	face	.	i	think	throughout	the	short	90	minutes	i	laughed	a	total	of	seven	times	.	.	.	and	those	were	just	chuckles	at	the	most	!	the	movie	doesn't	have	the	oomph	to	make	it	a	great	movie	,	and	doesn't	have	the	script	to	make	it	a	funny	movie	.	wayne	lefessier	(	steven	zahn	)	,	j	.	d	.	mcnugent	(	jack	black	)	,	and	darren	silverman	(	jason	biggs	)	have	grown	up	all	their	lives	together	,	they	have	been	best	friends	forever	and	vow	to	stay	close	till	the	end	.	while	in	a	bar	after	doing	a	show	with	their	band	,	based	on	their	love	of	neil	diamond	,	darren	meets	a	young	woman	named	judith	(	amanda	peet	)	whom	he	instantly	falls	for	.	wayne	and	j	.	d	.	however	think	differently	and	when	judith	tells	darren	that	he	can	never	see	his	friends	again	,	it's	up	to	wayne	and	j	.	d	.	to	try	and	begin	saving	silverman	.	the	performances	are	topnotch	and	surprisingly	,	they	are	what	keep	the	movie	afloat	.	jason	biggs	right	off	the	flop	"	loser	"	does	an	ok	job	playing	silverman	,	but	he	is	stale	and	flat	at	times	.	steve	zahn	is	perfect	in	the	role	of	wayne	lefessier	,	and	even	though	the	movie	is	about	silverman	,	lefessier	is	really	the	main	character	and	the	narrator	of	the	movie	itself	.	jack	black	is	well	jack	black	,	and	he	does	an	all	right	job	as	j	.	d	.	but	he	isn't	as	funny	as	he	has	been	in	the	past	.	amanda	peet	plays	the	ultimate	bitch	as	judith	,	and	neil	diamond	plays	neil	diamond	(	he's	better	at	singing	than	acting	)	.	anyway	the	performances	in	the	film	are	good	,	but	it's	too	bad	the	script	isn't	.	speaking	of	script	,	hank	nelkan's	choppy	script	is	not	only	badly	written	,	but	not	funny	enough	even	for	an	episode	of	sesame	street	.	the	trailer	for	the	movie	,	as	with	most	movies	gives	away	everything	that	happens	in	the	movie	,	especially	the	funniest	parts	.	somewhere	"	saving	silverman	"	was	meant	to	be	a	good	movie	,	and	it	could	have	been	,	but	alas	in	the	end	it	wasn't	.	dennis	dugan's	direction	is	all	right	,	he	adds	a	few	directorial	touches	here	and	there	,	nothing	special	being	a	simple	comedy	.	"	saving	silverman	"	is	a	perfectly	bad	movie	in	more	ways	than	one	.	it	has	a	great	cast	,	a	good	director	and	a	sweet	story	.	.	.	it's	just	too	bad	it	has	a	bad	script	and	is	all	together	a	bad	movie	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	3	11	00	.
neg	serial	killer	carl	stargher	(	vincent	d'onofrio	)	is	murdering	young	women	by	placing	them	in	a	sealed	glass	room	for	forty	hours	and	then	flooding	the	room	till	they	drown	.	fbi	agent	peter	novak	(	vince	vaughn	)	has	finally	tracked	the	killer	down	,	but	stargher	has	fallen	into	a	coma	from	which	he	will	never	awaken	.	this	wouldn't	be	a	problem	except	for	the	fact	that	he	kidnapped	one	last	girl	who	is	in	that	very	room	,	and	she's	running	out	of	time	.	novak	has	no	idea	where	the	room	is	,	so	he	employs	the	services	of	dr	.	catherine	deane	(	jennifer	lopez	)	,	a	child	psychologist	,	who	can	use	a	technology	to	enter	peoples'	minds	.	it	seems	catherine	is	able	to	make	her	patients	trust	her	better	than	any	psychologist	who	has	tried	the	machine	before	.	novak	hopes	stargher	will	trust	her	and	tell	her	the	location	.	she	agrees	to	enter	stargher's	mind	,	but	she's	never	experienced	anything	like	stargher's	mind	before	.	soon	she's	lost	in	the	disturbing	world	of	stargher's	sub	conscious	,	unable	to	tell	she's	no	longer	in	the	real	world	.	so	novak	decides	to	go	in	and	fetch	her	,	but	stargher's	mind	is	ready	for	him	.	stephen	king	once	said	,	regarding	stanley	kubrick's	adaption	of	"	the	shining	"	,	"	i	think	you	want	to	hurt	people	with	this	movie	.	"	i	disagree	with	his	assessment	of	kubrick's	horror	masterpiece	(	in	my	humble	opinion	anyway	)	,	but	i	think	his	words	can	be	accurately	applied	to	tarsem	singh's	travesty	,	"	the	cell	"	.	there's	nothing	remotely	likeable	about	this	film	.	the	only	thing	i	could	think	of	that	i	somewhat	enjoyed	were	a	few	special	effects	sequences	.	other	than	that	,	i	was	experiencing	only	three	different	emotions	:	bored	,	confused	,	and	outraged	.	it's	also	the	only	movie	this	year	that	i've	almost	walked	out	of	.	is	it	worse	than	"	battlefield	earth	"	?	of	course	not	,	but	at	least	that	piece	of	tripe	was	so	bad	i	could	laugh	at	it	.	"	the	cell	"	is	one	of	the	most	pretentious	,	stuck	up	movies	i've	ever	seen	(	it	even	beat	out	"	magnolia	"	)	,	completely	convinced	of	how	important	its	message	is	.	it's	one	thing	for	a	movie	to	feature	a	controversial	message	,	it's	quite	another	for	the	writers	to	cram	that	message	down	your	throat	.	singh	and	protosevich	do	just	that	in	"	the	cell	"	,	and	i	hope	never	to	see	another	film	from	either	of	them	.	so	how	does	the	acting	fare	in	this	horrendous	movie	?	well	,	you've	got	vincent	d'onofrio	(	"	13th	floor	"	)	playing	a	serial	killer	;	something	he	seems	to	enjoy	very	much	,	but	he	sleepwalks	his	way	through	the	role	.	i	heard	him	in	a	recent	interview	discussing	the	types	of	roles	he	now	takes	,	and	he	stated	"	i	take	only	the	roles	which	interest	me	.	"	if	that's	the	case	,	and	this	role	interested	him	,	i	think	mr	.	d'onofrio	might	be	in	need	of	serious	medical	attention	.	jennifer	lopez	(	who	was	wonderful	in	last	year's	"	out	of	sight	"	)	seems	to	be	convinced	,	throughout	the	film	,	that	speaking	softly	all	the	time	is	the	same	thing	as	acting	concerned	.	the	only	problem	is	i	couldn't	hear	half	the	"	concerned	"	things	she	was	saying	.	vince	vaughn	(	"	swingers	"	,	the	horrible	"	psycho	"	remake	)	isn't	given	much	of	a	chance	to	act	since	his	character	is	so	underdeveloped	.	protosevich's	idea	of	developing	the	character	seems	to	be	for	him	to	say	that	he	doesn't	agree	with	killers	blaming	their	crimes	on	their	childhood	.	when	lopez's	character	argues	with	him	about	this	however	,	he	doesn't	really	fight	back	.	watch	for	a	cameo	by	james	gammon	(	"	major	league	"	)	as	a	local	police	officer	.	in	that	first	paragraph	i	mentioned	a	message	being	crammed	down	our	throats	,	and	that	message	is	basically	all	there	is	to	"	the	cell	"	.	singh	tries	to	hide	it	behind	bizarre	visuals	and	overly	dramatic	dialogue	,	but	all	i	noticed	was	the	message	being	shoved	in	my	face	.	what	was	this	message	that	i	refer	to	with	such	bitterness	?	simply	,	that	inside	every	psychopathic	serial	killer	there's	a	scared	little	person	trying	to	get	out	.	what	a	serial	killer	does	is	really	just	a	cry	for	help	so	people	will	listen	to	him	,	since	his	parents	were	abusive	when	he	was	a	child	.	i	figure	there	will	be	three	different	groups	of	people	seeing	this	movie	:	first	will	be	the	group	to	which	i	belong	outraged	that	this	message	was	being	thrown	at	us	;	second	is	the	group	that	agrees	with	the	message	and	thinks	it's	wonderful	that	it's	being	shown	in	a	movie	;	and	last	is	the	luckiest	group	,	those	who	either	don't	notice	or	don't	care	about	the	message	and	just	sit	there	dazzled	by	the	pretty	colors	on	screen	.	if	you're	in	the	first	group	,	i	urge	you	to	stay	away	from	this	movie	.	if	you're	in	the	second	group	,	i	adamantly	disagree	with	you	.	if	you're	in	the	third	group	,	i	envy	you	.	obviously	,	one	of	the	biggest	draws	of	"	the	cell	"	is	the	shocking	visuals	,	and	i'll	admit	,	they	look	nice	in	about	a	scene	and	a	half	.	other	than	that	,	they	generally	resemble	poor	attempts	to	imitate	clive	barker	.	it's	as	though	the	film	makers	were	thinking	"	let's	see	what	bizarre	disgusting	image	we	can	hurl	at	them	next	"	,	without	using	images	that	went	along	with	the	story	.	tarsem	singh's	filming	style	involves	giving	all	the	dream	sequences	a	washed	out	look	for	no	other	reason	than	to	distinguish	between	dreams	and	real	life	(	as	though	the	floating	people	and	pools	of	blood	weren't	tipping	us	off	)	.	it	also	involves	making	everything	from	the	dialogue	(	except	jennifer	lopez's	)	to	the	music	(	an	obnoxious	score	by	howard	shore	)	to	the	sound	effects	gratingly	loud	and	in	your	face	.	tarsem	singh	is	a	first	time	director	,	and	i	can	only	hope	he'll	never	be	handed	another	project	.	"	the	cell	"	runs	a	long	105	minutes	.	i'd	recommend	it	only	to	psychology	majors	who	want	to	either	argue	or	agree	with	the	film's	message	and	to	aspiring	directors	so	they	can	see	how	not	to	present	strange	visuals	.	i	give	the	movie	one	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	send	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	past	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	?	public	yes	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	?	public	yes	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	a	one	of	the	best	movies	of	the	year	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	at	your	own	risk	.	see	this	one	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	hr	get	your	private	,	free	e	mail	from	msn	hotmail	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	a	share	information	about	yourself	,	create	your	own	public	profile	at	a	href	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	a
neg	aspiring	broadway	composer	robert	(	aaron	williams	)	secretly	carries	a	torch	for	his	best	friend	,	struggling	actor	marc	(	michael	shawn	lucas	)	.	the	problem	is	,	marc	only	has	eyes	for	"	perfect	10s	,	"	which	the	geeky	,	insecure	robert	certainly	is	not	.	meanwhile	,	marc's	spoiled	(	hetero	)	female	roommate	,	cynthia	(	mara	hobel	)	,	spends	her	days	lying	about	their	apartment	and	harrassing	magazine	editor	tina	brown	.	writer	director	victor	mignatti's	"	very	romantic	comedy	"	(	as	the	ad	campaign	states	)	is	supposed	to	be	(	pardon	the	pun	)	a	gay	ol'	romp	,	but	it's	hard	to	have	much	fun	with	these	annoying	,	self	absorbed	characters	and	their	shallow	personal	problems	:	marc	and	cynthia	have	sitcom	level	domestic	"	crises	"	(	such	as	trying	to	kill	bugs	how	hilarious	)	;	robert	and	marc	go	to	acting	class	(	how	riveting	)	;	the	zaftig	cynthia	goes	on	eating	binges	(	how	original	)	.	but	more	than	anything	else	,	the	three	whine	.	constantly	.	marc	whines	about	his	turbulent	romance	with	an	apparent	"	10	,	"	david	(	hugh	panaro	)	,	the	hunky	musician	from	across	the	way	;	robert	whines	about	not	being	able	to	find	the	right	guy	;	cynthia	whines	about	having	to	find	a	job	(	horrors	)	.	the	terrible	trio	whine	their	way	to	a	happy	ending	that	is	wholly	undeserved	.	add	in	overly	broad	performances	and	some	laughable	lipsynching	by	panaro	,	and	you're	left	with	one	astonishing	piece	of	cinematic	damage	.
neg	one	of	these	days	,	i'll	make	good	on	my	promise	never	to	rent	another	abel	ferrara	movie	.	king	of	new	york	and	body	snatchers	notwithstanding	(	and	bad	lieutenant	is	only	fit	for	a	single	,	emotive	viewing	)	,	his	exploitation	flicks	have	fallen	into	a	rut	of	hoary	art	house	trappings	.	it's	a	perfume	drenched	,	coke	addled	visit	to	the	seedy	pornography	shop	,	where	beautiful	models	(	no	,	hookers	no	,	courtesans	)	usher	you	through	the	silk	curtains	.	ferrara's	only	consistently	smart	move	has	been	casting	christopher	walken	over	and	over	again	,	since	walken	can	make	a	good	movie	great	and	a	loathsome	movie	durable	whenever	he's	onscreen	.	his	8	minute	scene	in	the	addiction	is	the	saving	grace	of	that	otherwise	abysmal	,	unwatchable	,	and	pretentious	failure	.	when	he	starts	talking	about	his	vampiric	bowel	movements	,	or	questions	whether	lili	taylor	has	ever	read	naked	lunch	,	there's	a	much	needed	dose	of	humor	in	an	otherwise	terminally	unfunny	affair	.	you	know	those	gothic	club	kids	who	are	too	cool	to	smile	and	let	you	know	they're	actually	having	fun	?	the	addiction	is	that	movie	.	walken	,	sadly	,	does	not	appear	in	the	blackout	.	the	central	role	of	matty	,	a	junkie	film	star	whose	lightning	paced	hollywood	life	among	the	beautiful	people	is	inevitably	leading	to	his	destruction	,	is	played	by	matthew	modine	(	who	takes	what	he	can	get	after	cutthroat	island	)	.	much	like	the	protagonists	of	michelangelo	antonioni's	terminally	bored	cultural	elite	,	matty	is	involved	in	a	bitter	pill	"	relationship	"	with	high	fashioned	model	annie	(	at	least	i	think	she's	a	model	.	)	matty's	lady	is	played	by	french	actress	batrice	dalle	,	arrested	twice	for	cocaine	possession	during	filming	of	the	blackout	not	that	you	needed	to	know	that	,	but	it	lends	credence	to	the	idea	that	ferrara's	entire	oeuvre	has	been	filmed	in	a	fucking	blackout	.	no	kidding	.	requiem	for	a	dream	has	nothing	on	the	junkie	presentations	seen	in	ferrara's	movies	and	his	controversial	urban	lifestyle	.	matty	and	annie	struggle	over	her	decision	to	have	an	abortion	without	consulting	him	.	no	doubt	,	he	was	off	chasing	the	dragon	.	in	his	despair	,	matty	indulges	in	a	chemical	induced	weekend	of	debauchery	,	tooling	around	the	streets	of	miami	with	video	filmmaker	mickey	wayne	(	dennis	hopper	,	in	full	"	dirty	ol'	man	"	mold	smacking	models	on	the	ass	and	telling	them	to	spread	their	legs	.	wider	!	)	toward	the	end	of	the	night	,	they	pick	up	a	teenage	waitress	also	named	annie	(	sarah	lassez	)	,	start	shooting	a	hastily	improvised	sexual	scene	,	then	matty	thankfully	blacks	out	.	something	happened	that	night	which	haunts	him	throughout	the	rest	of	the	movie	,	and	it's	exactly	what	you	think	it	was	.	suffice	to	say	,	there's	some	confusion	over	whether	he	killed	annie	one	or	annie	two	,	or	anyone	at	all	.	the	blackout	is	typical	ferrara	:	no	plot	to	speak	of	,	plenty	of	raunch	,	and	horribly	vogue	images	of	matthew	modine	downing	a	bottle	of	jack	daniels	and	a	beer	while	wrapping	himself	in	a	see	through	curtain	in	his	hotel	room	by	the	sea	,	by	the	sea	,	by	the	beautiful	sea	.	cinematographer	ken	kelsch	finds	inconsistent	glory	in	alternating	gorgeous	painterly	sunsets	with	docu	style	sleaze	(	and	we're	back	to	dennis	hopper	leering	at	girls	in	bathing	suits	.	"	yeah	!	!	!	yeah	!	!	!	arrrghhh	!	"	says	mr	.	hopper	.	dirty	old	sod	.	)	it's	compulsive	viewing	in	a	tacky	sort	of	way	,	leading	to	a	ridiculous	climax	where	modine	seizes	control	of	his	destiny	.	how's	that	for	cryptic	?	never	fear	ferrara	finds	time	for	some	female	full	frontal	nudity	to	remind	us	what	he's	all	about	.	i	can	picture	it	now	.	"	take	off	yer	clothes	,	kid	it's	essential	to	depict	the	inner	maelstrom	of	my	central	protagonist	,	and	you're	his	visual	id	.	you're	the	soul	,	the	heart	,	the	bloodstream	of	the	picture	.	take	it	off	!	take	it	all	off	!	!	!	ha	ha	ha	!	"	friggin'	vampire	.	yeah	,	you	,	ferrara	.	a	final	word	about	matthew	modine	:	he's	actually	a	fine	actor	when	properly	cast	,	but	there's	something	too	squeaky	clean	in	his	demeanor	.	he's	ideally	suited	for	sarcastic	men	in	tightly	controlled	situations	,	such	as	his	private	joker	in	full	metal	jacket	or	the	time	bomb	nebbish	in	short	cuts	(	who	is	every	bit	as	superb	as	julianne	moore	in	that	famous	scene	,	though	no	one	seems	to	notice	him	)	.	he	was	in	that	scene	?	ed	.	here	,	he's	asked	to	let	it	all	hang	out	,	sporting	a	three	day	stubble	and	oily	bangs	.	he	throws	around	furniture	like	stanley	kowalski	,	but	it's	somehow	lacking	.	modine	lacks	the	feral	intensity	of	brando	,	entirely	miscast	in	ferrara's	flesh	fair	.	better	luck	next	time	,	matt	.	someday	,	you'll	be	forgiven	for	cutthroat	island	,	which	wasn't	really	your	fault	in	the	first	place	.	maybe	atom	egoyan	will	find	a	place	for	you	somewhere	,	and	all	will	once	again	be	well	in	your	world	.
neg	there	were	four	movies	that	earned	jamie	lee	curtis	the	title	of	"	scream	queen	"	in	the	early	'80s	.	two	of	them	were	halloween	movies	,	but	the	other	two	prom	night	and	terror	train	were	the	uninspired	knockoffs	that	came	directly	after	the	success	of	halloween	.	the	same	"	god	,	i'm	scared	,	there's	some	guy	in	a	mask	coming	after	me	"	routine	she	did	in	john	carpenter's	classic	,	jamie	lee	copies	here	,	with	none	of	the	urgency	or	suspense	.	terror	train	takes	place	on	(	where	else	?	)	a	train	,	charted	by	some	pre	med	students	finishing	their	first	four	years	of	higher	education	.	most	of	them	won't	make	it	to	med	school	,	though	,	and	it's	obvious	from	the	foreshadowing	done	when	the	conductor	complains	,	"	i	wish	to	hell	they'd	put	a	radio	on	that	train	.	"	the	conductor	character	probably	has	the	most	lines	of	anyone	,	even	jamie	lee	.	from	the	beginning	,	he's	talking	his	head	off	(	he	tells	one	of	his	co	workers	"	think	on	this	when's	the	last	time	someone	built	a	shopping	mall	next	to	a	train	station	?	"	as	if	it	makes	any	kind	of	sense	)	and	it	only	gets	better	as	he	engages	himself	in	an	argument	about	the	benefits	of	railroad	over	recreational	vehicles	.	of	course	,	the	loudmouth	conductor	is	the	first	person	to	find	a	bloody	body	,	which	is	then	gone	when	he	brings	a	skeptical	trainman	back	to	view	it	.	i	forgot	to	mention	the	prologue	.	it's	a	party	three	years	earlier	,	with	the	same	group	of	students	.	two	of	them	play	a	trick	on	a	geeky	frat	pledge	,	promising	him	he's	going	to	get	laid	.	they	send	jamie	lee	up	to	stand	behind	the	bed	and	talk	to	the	geek	as	he	comes	in	,	noticing	a	form	on	the	bed	.	she	says	,	"	kiss	me	,	kenny	,	"	and	he	kisses	the	body	on	the	bed	,	which	happens	to	be	a	cadaver	.	(	"	oh	my	god	,	they	killed	kenny	!	you	bastards	!	"	)	it's	a	sick	trick	,	and	one	jamie	lee	wasn't	let	in	on	.	she	still	hasn't	forgiven	the	guy	as	they	board	the	terror	train	(	"	you	asshole	,	you	can't	have	a	good	time	without	hurting	somebody	!	"	)	.	the	killing	starts	before	the	train	even	leaves	the	station	.	since	it's	new	year's	,	everyone's	wearing	disguises	(	a	convenient	plot	device	we've	seen	before	)	,	and	someone	stabs	the	guy	in	the	groucho	mask	when	no	one's	looking	.	at	least	one	of	the	characters	says	it's	a	groucho	mask	;	when	the	killer	dons	it	and	steps	aboard	,	it	looks	like	gene	shalit	who	,	by	the	way	,	would	make	a	great	killer	in	a	slasher	movie	.	speaking	of	weird	looking	dorks	who	still	persist	on	the	entertainment	scene	,	one	of	terror	train's	most	famous	gimmicks	is	the	appearance	of	david	copperfield	"	as	the	magician	,	"	who	regails	those	aboard	with	illusions	set	to	disco	music	.	then	there's	his	greatest	trick	getting	laid	with	hair	that	looks	like	that	.	for	all	its	attempts	at	visual	style	and	substance	,	terror	train	is	more	lionel	than	amtrak	,	more	prom	night	than	halloween	,	and	nothing	really	worth	watching	.	only	die	hard	fans	of	jamie	lee	curtis	and	david	copperfield	(	if	he	truly	has	any	fans	)	should	even	attempt	to	watch	it	.	and	it	makes	me	wonder	if	a	horror	movie	set	in	an	rv	could	be	much	worse	.	i	mean	,	when	was	the	last	time	someone	built	a	shopping	mall	next	to	a	train	station	,	anyway	?	terror	train	is	definitely	the	cinematic	equivalent	of	a	sleeper	car	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
neg	this	mummy	should	have	stayed	under	wrapsancient	egypt	has	been	a	source	of	fascination	for	the	western	world	for	centuries	.	mysteries	surrounding	the	construction	and	meaning	of	the	pyramids	have	given	rise	to	numerous	theories	:	some	outlandish	,	others	difficult	to	believe	and	none	proven	.	most	information	concerning	the	arcane	secrets	of	the	gigantic	structures	has	been	lost	to	vandals	and	the	ravages	of	time	.	were	they	built	using	science	that	we	no	longer	know	about	?	by	ancient	astronauts	from	sirius	?	by	engineers	from	legendary	atlantis	?	or	is	there	a	more	mundane	answer	that	,	for	some	reason	,	we've	been	unable	to	discover	?	recent	discoveries	that	the	pyramids	might	be	much	older	than	previously	thought	,	that	they	are	accurate	astronomical	indicators	and	that	they	might	not	have	been	built	as	burial	chambers	verify	how	little	we	know	.	the	lack	of	facts	only	adds	to	the	allure	of	the	lost	civilization	.	in	the	early	1900s	,	occult	groups	dressed	in	egyptian	garb	.	there's	even	a	pyramid	with	a	floating	eye	on	the	back	of	u	.	s	.	currency	.
neg	back	in	february	at	the	monthly	los	angeles	comic	book	and	science	fiction	convention	,	new	line	cinema	put	on	a	lavish	presentation	for	its	big	screen	update	of	the	cult	1960s	sci	fi	tv	show	lost	in	space	,	complete	with	in	person	appearances	by	cast	members	mimi	rogers	,	matt	leblanc	,	lacey	chabert	,	jack	johnson	,	and	even	gary	oldman	.	that	should	have	set	off	my	warning	alarms	the	last	time	such	an	extravagant	film	presentation	took	place	at	the	convention	was	nearly	five	years	ago	,	when	none	other	than	arnold	schwarzenegger	made	an	in	person	cameo	to	peddle	.	.	.	last	action	hero	.	but	no	,	like	millions	of	others	,	i	bought	into	the	hype	and	"	got	lost	.	"	if	only	i	had	gotten	lost	literally	on	the	way	to	theatre	and	spared	myself	the	tedium	of	this	sloppily	slapped	together	blockbuster	wannabe	.	you	may	find	yourself	wondering	if	director	stephen	hopkins	and	screenwriter	akiva	goldsman	were	lost	themselves	when	they	made	the	film	.	at	the	convention	,	goldsman	claimed	to	be	a	rabid	fan	of	the	original	television	series	,	and	if	that	really	is	the	case	,	i'd	hate	to	see	what	he	does	with	concepts	he	only	has	mild	interest	in	.	to	say	that	his	script	lacks	narrative	cohesion	is	to	imply	that	there	is	a	narrative	to	begin	with	which	there	most	certainly	is	not	.	after	the	setup	,	in	which	the	robinson	family	father	john	(	william	hurt	,	looking	and	sounding	as	spaced	out	as	he	does	in	interviews	)	,	mother	maureen	(	rogers	,	wasted	)	,	daughters	judy	(	heather	graham	,	ditto	)	and	penny	(	a	heavily	made	up	chabert	,	looking	like	a	junior	version	of	neve	campbell	in	wild	things	)	,	and	son	will	(	young	newcomer	johnson	,	making	the	best	of	it	)	and	pilot	don	west	(	leblanc	,	doing	a	bad	han	solo	impression	)	find	themselves	lost	in	space	after	their	ship	is	sabotaged	by	evil	stowaway	dr	.	smith	(	a	watered	down	but	still	lively	oldman	,	cashing	a	paycheck	and	loving	every	minute	)	,	the	script's	"	stream	"	of	events	becomes	so	fragmented	and	random	that	it	seems	to	be	made	up	as	it	goes	along	and	hopkins	does	little	to	make	what	does	go	on	the	slightest	bit	interesting	.	they	encounter	another	ship	.	they	board	it	.	alien	spiders	attack	them	.	they	return	to	their	ship	.	the	other	one	explodes	.	they	land	on	a	deserted	planet	.	and	so	on	.	an	attempt	at	a	plot	involving	time	travel	occurs	in	the	third	act	,	but	goldsman	doesn't	seem	to	understand	the	rules	that	come	with	using	such	a	story	device	;	when	one	character's	past	self	dies	,	the	future	incarnation	inexplicably	lives	on	.	the	look	and	effects	should	be	lost	in	space's	ace	in	the	hole	,	but	hopkins	even	manages	to	botch	that	.	for	a	big	budget	film	,	the	visual	effects	are	incredibly	shoddy	.	in	one	composite	background	shot	,	i	could	see	the	blue	outline	around	oldman	;	the	various	digital	effects	for	the	space	battle	scenes	look	like	.	.	.	digital	effects	.	but	nothing	in	those	shots	is	as	jaw	droppingly	unconvincing	as	blawp	,	a	monkey	like	space	creature	that	becomes	penny's	pet	.	entirely	computer	generated	and	every	inch	showing	it	,	blawp	looks	like	it	was	lifted	directly	from	a	sony	playstation	game	.	apparently	hopkins	thought	the	same	and	tried	desperately	to	hide	it	;	how	else	can	one	explain	the	graininess	of	blawp's	composite	shots	with	the	human	actors	?	but	in	doing	so	,	the	seams	are	that	much	more	obvious	.	you	have	to	be	severely	visually	impaired	to	not	be	distracted	when	a	grainy	shot	of	penny	and	blawp	is	immediately	followed	by	a	crystal	clear	solo	reaction	shot	of	judy	.	new	line	is	hoping	lost	in	space	will	become	a	big	franchise	much	like	the	long	running	star	trek	cash	cow	at	paramount	.	i	don't	think	so	.	in	a	few	years	,	the	lost	in	space	movie	will	likely	live	on	not	as	a	series	but	as	the	obscure	answer	to	a	trivia	question	:	what	film	ended	titanic's	15	week	reign	at	the	top	of	the	weekend	box	office	?
neg	"	doesn't	it	bother	you	that	people	like	catherine	hayward	and	jack	ames	can	prance	right	through	life	with	everyone	else	,	guys	like	you	and	me	left	to	pick	up	the	pieces	?	"	asks	raymond	hope	(	james	garner	)	to	harry	ross	.	(	newman	)	they	are	discussing	susan	sarandon	and	gene	hackman	and	the	sudden	disappearance	of	susan's	former	husband	in	twilight	,	a	supposed	nostalgic	piece	of	the	old	40s	crime	dramas	.	yes	it	bothers	me	!	especially	since	the	audience	is	asked	to	pick	up	the	pieces	of	this	horrible	modernized	detective	story	.	harry	is	being	interviewed	about	his	past	in	a	jail	cell	,	he	begins	to	tell	the	tale	of	how	we	got	involved	with	the	ames	family	.	he	was	referred	by	raymond	just	after	his	alcoholism	destroyed	his	life	.	this	begins	is	a	mindless	chase	over	a	10	,	000	payment	of	something	that	happened	in	mexico	that's	full	of	stereotypical	characters	and	bad	acting	to	reach	a	final	conclusion	.	the	actual	parts	of	the	film	that	lead	to	the	finale	(	if	you	can	even	call	it	that	)	take	no	more	than	ten	or	fifteen	minutes	.	so	,	what	else	is	offered	to	make	this	a	96	minute	movie	you	ask	.	the	nostalgia	forties	piece	gets	a	modern	dose	of	sex	and	violence	.	for	instance	,	stockard	channing	is	the	only	female	character	,	whose	breasts	,	we	do	not	see	!	james	garner	is	the	only	one	not	having	sex	.	and	gene	hackman	is	the	only	person	who	hasn't	shot	anyone	!	if	this	sounds	like	a	piece	of	filth	,	it	is	.	the	use	of	gloria	as	a	subplot	is	also	a	very	weak	excuse	to	pile	on	the	violence	.	even	when	she	clubs	him	over	the	head	,	puts	a	gun	to	his	face	,	and	later	tries	to	demand	more	money	and	kill	him	again	.	a	couple	of	minutes	before	she	dies	(	yes	i'm	giving	away	the	plot	,	but	trust	me	,	you	won't	care	anyway	)	she	is	suddenly	made	into	a	complex	character	with	feelings	that	we	are	all	supposed	to	grieve	for	.	this	isn't	to	mention	the	fact	over	overwhelming	cheese	.	whereas	in	dead	men	don't	wear	plaid	(	yes	that	was	a	comedy	but	i'm	on	a	roll	here	)	the	cheese	was	used	effectively	and	the	actors	were	aware	of	it	,	this	is	supposed	to	come	on	as	real	drama	.	let	me	make	this	review	shorter	for	you	:	if	you	enjoy	inflicting	pain	on	yourself	,	over	and	over	again	while	constantly	swearing	and	making	crude	sexual	comments	while	baring	your	chest	,	than	this	is	the	film	for	you	.	if	not	,	don't	see	twilight	,	the	film	gets	my	star	.
neg	copyright	2001	planet	sick	boy	.	all	rights	reserved	.	august	and	september	are	a	wasteland	when	it	comes	to	children's	films	,	and	october	is	a	dumping	ground	for	munchkin	movies	the	studios	don't	want	to	see	slaughtered	against	family	oriented	thanksgiving	films	.	last	year	,	the	benevolent	studio	gods	gave	us	digimon	,	and	this	year	,	they	bestow	max	keeble's	big	move	on	delighted	moviegoers	across	the	country	.	parents	will	be	thrilled	because	they'll	finally	have	something	to	drag	little	austin	and	kayla	to	see	that	doesn't	smell	nearly	as	much	like	ass	as	digimon	did	.	don't	get	me	wrong	keeble	,	which	is	actually	only	a	"	ment	"	away	from	being	a	fetish	film	,	isn't	that	entertaining	.	in	fact	,	you'd	be	better	off	waiting	to	blow	your	disposable	income	when	the	real	kiddie	pics	(	monsters	,	inc	.	,	harry	potter	)	come	out	next	month	.	but	if	dubya	dubya	iii	tells	you	to	go	out	and	spend	money	to	stimulate	the	economy	,	then	you'd	better	do	it	(	because	gassing	up	the	minivan	twice	a	week	just	isn't	going	to	cut	it	)	.	we	first	see	young	max	keeble	(	alex	d	.	linz	,	home	alone	3	)	as	a	pint	sized	superhero	,	delivering	newspapers	with	the	pinpoint	accuracy	of	a	david	beckham	cross	,	foiling	the	diabolical	plans	of	the	evil	ice	cream	man	(	jamie	kennedy	,	jay	and	silent	bob	strike	back	)	and	landing	the	neighborhood	honey	(	brooke	anne	smith	)	,	who	,	by	the	way	,	is	the	hottest	chick	in	a	disney	film	since	emmanuelle	chriqui	played	claire	boner	in	snow	day	.	the	scenario	is	,	of	course	,	a	dream	.	max	is	really	a	doofus	and	he	wakes	up	on	his	first	day	of	junior	high	school	with	a	pessimistic	attitude	,	no	luck	with	the	ladies	and	only	two	friends	,	both	of	whom	can	kindly	be	described	as	social	outcasts	(	and	who	were	both	in	snow	day	)	the	perpetually	robed	robe	(	josh	peck	)	and	a	clarinet	playing	cutie	named	megan	(	summer	catch's	zena	grey	)	,	who	harbors	secret	feelings	for	max	.	things	don't	get	any	better	for	max	when	he	arrives	at	school	.	he	has	to	contend	with	,	among	other	things	,	a	red	hot	science	teacher	(	amber	valletta	,	family	man	)	,	a	pair	of	polar	opposite	bullies	(	noel	fisher	and	orlando	brown	)	,	and	an	illiterate	principal	(	larry	miller	,	the	princess	diaries	)	who's	secretly	diverting	the	school's	last	dime	into	the	football	program	.	when	max's	father	(	grownup	nerd	robert	carradine	)	unexpectedly	announces	the	family	is	moving	to	a	new	town	at	the	end	of	the	week	,	max	decides	this	is	the	perfect	time	to	exact	revenge	on	everyone	who	pisses	him	off	.	whoa	don't	worry	,	parents	.	he	doesn't	do	it	klebold	harris	style	.	it's	all	pretty	tame	stuff	,	but	max	ends	up	in	hot	water	when	dad	nixes	the	move	,	leaving	his	son	dangling	in	the	wind	like	so	many	tampon	strings	.	director	tim	hill	(	muppets	from	space	)	adds	a	few	nice	touches	,	like	max's	voiceover	character	introductions	for	the	film's	main	characters	and	a	flashback	scene	that's	pretty	funny	,	but	there	isn't	too	much	else	happening	here	stylewise	.	.	.	unless	you	count	some	farting	,	a	little	puking	,	and	a	couple	of	bizarre	cameos	from	tony	hawk	and	lil'	romeo	.	1	:	30	pg	for	some	bullying	and	crude	humor
neg	if	anyone	had	been	able	in	1983	to	forsee	a	late	night	cable	show	hosted	by	gilbert	gottfried	showcasing	some	of	the	worst	films	of	the	80's	,	they'd	agree	d	.	c	.	cab	is	the	quintessential	"	usa	up	all	nite	"	movie	.	it's	one	of	those	childish	r	rated	movies	that	kids	would	love	but	can't	see	until	it's	edited	for	tv	.	it's	also	one	of	those	pointless	,	almost	plotless	movies	with	hardly	any	laughs	.	and	,	strike	three	,	it	pairs	mr	.	t	with	gary	busey	.	i	heard	gilbert	say	d	.	c	.	cab	had	"	an	all	star	cast	,	"	but	i'm	still	hoping	there	was	some	degree	of	facetiousness	in	that	statement	.	when	third	billing	goes	to	a	two	minute	appearance	by	famed	flashdancer	irene	cara	"	as	herself	,	"	you	can't	say	a	damn	thing	about	all	star	casts	.	likewise	for	token	appearances	by	marsha	"	roz	"	warfield	,	paul	rodriguez	and	"	politically	incorrect	"	host	bill	maher	,	before	he	was	somebody	.	appearing	in	d	.	c	.	cab	pretty	much	had	the	opposite	effect	on	everyone	else	,	especially	irene	"	i'm	gonna	live	forever	"	cara	.	d	.	c	.	cab	is	an	ensemble	comedy	from	joel	schumacher	(	who	would	go	on	to	direct	batman	forever	)	about	a	bunch	of	misfits	who	drive	cabs	.	you	get	the	feeling	if	the	police	academy	cadets	had	made	a	different	career	choice	,	this	would	be	the	result	,	except	here	you	have	such	interesting	characters	as	the	"	token	white	guy	"	(	busey	)	who	wants	to	get	in	tight	with	the	blacks	now	before	they	take	over	the	world	,	the	token	jive	talker	named	tyrone	(	charlie	barnett	)	who	wears	his	hair	in	rollers	and	uses	the	word	"	honkey	"	as	much	as	possible	,	the	tough	guy	with	the	mohawk	and	gold	chains	(	mr	.	t	a	real	stretch	for	him	)	,	the	aspiring	musician	waiting	for	his	big	break	(	maher	)	,	the	mexican	gigolo	(	rodriguez	)	,	the	woman	who	actually	wants	to	drive	cabs	for	a	living	(	warfield	)	and	the	guy	who	wants	to	own	a	cab	company	for	a	living	(	adam	baldwin	)	.	we've	all	seen	dozens	of	bad	comedies	from	the	80's	.	some	are	fun	to	watch	and	some	are	actually	funny	.	this	one	is	more	or	less	neither	.	you'd	think	plenty	of	comedic	sparks	would	fly	from	the	assemblage	of	talent	(	whatever	)	,	but	d	.	c	.	cab	more	or	less	falls	flat	on	a	continual	basis	,	culminating	in	the	usual	contrived	hollywood	finale	as	baldwin	is	kidnapped	and	the	other	cabbies	have	to	go	to	rescue	him	.	it's	a	shame	no	one	was	able	to	rescue	this	movie	from	the	depths	of	stale	jokes	and	unoriginality	.	d	.	c	.	cab	has	rightly	earned	its	position	on	"	usa	up	all	nite	.	"
neg	cast	:	james	woods	,	kathleen	turner	,	kirsten	dunst	,	josh	harnett	,	hannah	hall	,	chelse	swain	,	a	.	j	.	cook	,	leslie	hayman	,	michael	pare	,	danny	devito	,	scott	glenn	,	giovanni	ribisi	based	on	a	novel	by	:	jeffrey	eugenides	written	and	directed	by	:	sofia	coppola	running	time	:	91	minutes	suicide	is	pointless	,	everyone	should	know	that	.	so	what's	this	movie	like	?	you	guessed	it	.	.	.	pointless	.	the	virgin	suicides	focuses	on	the	lives	of	the	five	lisbon	sisters	,	from	the	perspective	of	the	teenage	boys	who	are	fascinated	by	them	.	when	the	youngest	lisbon	sister	commits	suicide	,	it	sets	in	motion	a	series	of	events	that	will	change	the	lives	of	many	people	forever	.	that's	what	the	press	materials	for	the	film	probably	say	.	now	here's	what	i	say	:	the	virgin	suicides	is	a	huge	waste	of	time	.	boring	,	arty	,	pretentious	junk	that	is	about	as	entertaining	as	.	.	.	well	as	committing	suicide	.	the	movie	lost	me	early	on	,	immediately	following	the	scene	where	the	younger	daughter	jumps	to	her	death	from	her	bedroom	window	.	the	girl's	father	(	james	woods	)	holds	her	lifeless	body	in	his	arms	as	their	horrified	family	looks	on	.	then	,	as	the	scene	ends	,	the	lawn	sprinklers	come	on	.	is	that	a	joke	?	is	that	supposed	to	be	amusing	in	some	way	?	from	then	on	,	the	movie	failed	to	draw	me	back	in	.	performances	are	the	only	saving	grace	of	the	virgin	suicides	.	woods	plays	the	only	character	who	would	actually	interest	me	when	he	came	onscreen	,	but	the	performance	of	kirsten	dunst	as	the	next	youngest	daughter	lux	is	worth	mentioning	as	well	.	dunst	has	the	potential	to	be	a	big	star	,	if	she	chooses	her	projects	well	.	and	while	this	film	is	awful	,	she	manages	to	come	away	from	it	virtually	unscathed	.	there	are	also	a	few	cameos	in	the	film	here	and	there	,	which	only	frustrate	the	audience	as	they	leave	you	wanting	more	.	as	a	result	,	they	all	seem	rather	pointless	(	although	there's	a	brief	role	given	to	michael	pare	from	eddie	and	the	cruisers	which	turns	out	to	be	his	best	role	since	.	.	.	well	since	eddie	and	the	cruisers	)	.	perhaps	the	virgin	suicides	would	have	worked	had	the	story	not	been	told	from	the	point	of	view	of	people	who	had	very	little	access	to	the	main	characters	.	we	never	get	any	significant	insight	into	the	girls	and	why	they	might	be	feeling	what	they're	feeling	.	all	we	really	know	is	that	mrs	.	lisbon	(	kathleen	turner	)	is	strict	and	keeps	them	on	a	short	leash	.	what	mother	doesn't	?	it's	certainly	no	reason	to	commit	suicide	.	with	the	godfather	part	iii	,	sofia	coppola	proved	that	she	had	no	business	being	in	front	of	the	camera	.	with	the	virgin	suicides	,	she	proves	she	has	no	business	behind	it	either	.	having	family	connections	doesn't	entitle	you	to	be	allowed	to	make	movies	.	so	attention	film	directors	.	.	.	stop	letting	your	daughters	pout	their	way	into	the	industry	.	just	because	they	share	your	dna	doesn't	mean	they	share	your	talent	.	r	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
neg	susan	granger's	review	of	"	session	9	"	(	usa	films	)	sometimes	you	just	get	more	than	your	bargained	for	.	.	.	like	when	boston	based	hazmat	elimination	,	run	by	scottish	actor	peter	mullan	and	his	trusty	assistant	,	david	caruso	,	assures	a	town	engineer	(	paul	guilifoyle	)	that	they	can	remove	insidious	asbestos	fibers	from	a	victorian	hospital	facility	in	a	week	.	erected	in	1871	,	deserted	and	decomposing	since	1985	,	the	danvers	mental	hospital	,	is	one	of	the	most	malevolent	"	locations	"	ever	chosen	for	a	film	.	the	structure	is	so	massive	with	its	labyrinth	of	rubble	strewn	corridors	,	collapsing	floors	,	stagnant	pools	of	water	,	isolation	cells	,	and	ominous	surgical	chambers	where	experimental	pre	frontal	lobotomies	were	performed	that	their	task	seems	impossible	within	that	time	frame	.	and	each	member	of	their	inexperienced	crew	(	stephan	gevedon	,	brandon	sexton	iii	,	and	josh	lucas	)	is	coping	with	his	own	personal	demons	as	,	one	by	one	,	their	minds	seem	to	be	affected	by	the	grim	areas	in	which	they're	working	.	the	film's	title	is	derived	from	salvaged	reel	to	reel	audio	recorded	sessions	involving	the	demonic	possession	of	a	young	woman	who	is	suffering	from	multiple	personalities	.	by	the	time	session	9	occurs	so	do	dreadful	disasters	.	filmmaker	brad	anderson	obviously	envisioned	this	as	a	gruesome	chainsaw	massacre	type	ghost	story	but	the	script	lacks	structure	and	isn't	particularly	scary	.	the	conclusion	is	more	ludicrous	than	convincing	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	session	9	"	is	a	dark	,	gloomy	4	.	silly	me	.	.	.	at	first	,	i	thought	that	the	original	name	of	the	danvers	lunatic	asylum	bore	some	reference	to	mrs	.	danvers	,	the	creepy	housekeeper	played	by	judith	anderson	in	alfred	hitchcock's	truly	terrifying	"	rebecca	"	that	also	involved	a	cavernous	mansion	called	manderley	.
neg	look	no	further	than	a	night	at	the	roxbury	for	evidence	of	the	decline	of	two	institutions	:	"	saturdy	night	live	"	,	which	hasn't	managed	to	be	funny	in	over	a	decade	and	a	half	,	and	american	comedies	in	general	.	roxbury	is	so	wan	,	so	thin	and	juiceless	,	that	it	barely	classifies	as	a	movie	.	it	also	commits	the	cardinal	comic	sin	:	it's	not	funny	.	roxbury	gives	us	the	butabi	brothers	,	steve	and	doug	(	will	ferrell	and	chris	kattan	)	,	who	are	in	themselves	clones	of	an	earlier	snl	routine	,	the	"	wild	and	crazy	guys	"	.	the	post	high	school	butabis	are	still	stuck	in	their	parents'	house	,	work	for	dad's	flower	shop	,	and	head	out	when	the	sun	goes	down	in	futile	attempts	to	get	into	upscale	nightclubs	and	score	with	the	ladies	.	after	countless	rejections	(	in	a	movie	like	this	,	anything	that	happens	so	much	as	twice	feels	"	countless	"	)	,	they	get	lucky	and	wind	up	weaselling	their	way	into	the	ultrahip	roxbury	as	part	of	the	entourage	of	a	tv	star	(	richard	grieco	)	.	all	along	the	way	we	get	a	barrage	of	hit	and	miss	gags	the	best	of	which	have	already	been	played	to	death	in	the	trailer	.	it's	a	little	distressing	how	the	movie	manages	to	play	host	to	many	different	pieces	of	action	without	making	any	of	them	funny	,	or	even	interesting	.	f'rinstance	,	father	butabi	(	dan	hedaya	,	they	guy	who	looks	like	harry	dean	stanton's	weaselly	brother	)	and	mom	(	loni	anderson	,	of	all	people	)	,	are	barely	milked	for	a	single	joke	.	their	function	is	to	stand	there	and	look	bewildered	.	a	neighboring	businessman's	daughter	,	emily	(	molly	shannon	)	,	gets	a	mad	crush	on	steve	as	part	of	a	larger	plan	to	manipulate	them	into	mergingin	their	businesses	as	well	as	their	bodies	but	they	dimness	of	the	boys	is	so	absolute	that	we	hardly	care	they're	being	suckered	.	what	fun	is	that	?	lacking	a	story	,	or	even	a	real	moment	of	comic	invention	,	the	roxbury	creators	threw	everything	else	they	could	think	of	at	the	screen	,	and	hoped	some	of	it	would	stick	.	fights	,	weddings	,	wayne	and	garth	antics	,	and	on	and	on	.	for	some	reason	i	was	reminded	of	the	equally	lamentable	tommy	boy	,	which	featured	snl	alumns	chris	farley	and	david	spade	,	landlocked	in	a	script	that	was	equally	barren	of	entertainment	,	and	equally	overstuffed	with	things	to	attract	,	but	not	keep	,	our	attention	,
neg	"	i	just	have	this	feeling	that	everything	is	completely	safe	,	"	says	the	local	sheriff	,	late	in	lake	placid	.	i	don't	think	anyone	in	the	film	,	or	watching	it	,	would	disagree	with	him	this	has	got	to	be	one	of	the	worst	creature	flicks	ever	,	because	its	creature	,	a	giant	crocodile	,	is	so	terribly	lifeless	.	timid	,	too	:	a	character	played	by	oliver	platt	(	he's	an	,	um	,	croc	spert	)	is	swimming	very	slowly	backward	,	away	from	his	subject	,	the	crocodile	following	closely	,	and	never	once	is	there	an	attack	at	the	opportune	time	.	later	,	bridget	fonda	forgive	me	,	actual	character	names	didn't	stick	is	engaged	is	some	kind	of	underwater	battle	(	and	,	btw	,	when	you	finally	do	resurface	,	maybe	be	more	out	of	breath	so	we	can	at	least	pretend	you	were	down	there	that	long	)	with	the	crocodile	,	as	it	languorously	swings	open	its	long	jaws	just	at	the	potential	victim's	feet	,	but	only	tries	for	the	kill	once	fonda	is	safely	behind	a	tree	big	enough	only	to	shroud	her	tiny	frame	.	could	she	outswim	the	beast	,	when	we've	already	seen	it	swiftly	lunge	ashore	and	drag	both	a	cow	and	a	bear	into	the	water	?	not	likely	.	but	,	there's	a	trend	:	no	actor	with	star	billing	is	killed	.	or	,	severely	injured	;	not	one	of	them	.	only	in	the	beginning	,	with	a	diver	tagging	beaver	,	and	then	with	a	town	deputy	,	do	deaths	occur	.	ok	i	sound	morbid	;	don't	mean	to	,	it's	just	that	with	something	that	moves	as	quickly	as	this	crocodile	does	on	land	,	to	have	it	be	so	laidback	and	non	threatening	the	rest	of	the	time	,	namely	during	confrontations	with	most	of	the	cast	,	is	boring	.	earlier	,	the	platt	character	explains	that	freshwater	crocs	do	not	usually	attack	_	in	_	the	water	.	so	,	what	about	the	aforementioned	diver	?	or	,	fonda's	narrow	escape	?	contradictions	in	logic	aside	,	lake	has	a	pleasant	,	sunny	look	,	and	some	witty	,	insult	laden	dialogue	for	fonda	.	all	of	which	is	cute	,	while	it	lasts	;	you	can	literally	feel	the	film	run	out	of	energy	and	resources	and	plot	,	and	then	all	but	evaporate	from	the	screen	.	100	minutes	seems	like	30	,	here	,	because	there's	nothing	going	on	.	and	,	every	time	our	monster	makes	an	appearance	,	the	effect	is	that	of	a	wet	blanket	thrown	over	a	wet	blanket	.	it	moves	too	slow	,	but	maybe	that's	because	of	it's	age	(	150	years	,	we	are	told	)	;	plus	,	there	was	all	that	swimming	from	asia	.	and	,	when	it	takes	to	land	,	it	will	thrash	about	,	chomping	every	which	direction	,	but	will	not	make	contact	.	how	unbelievably	dull	.	best	line	:	hard	to	choose	one	more	ridiculous	than	,	"	don't	throw	heads	at	me	!	"
neg	that's	it	.	the	nostalgia	trip	is	heading	for	a	long	walk	off	of	a	short	pier	.	i	mean	,	really	,	who	pitched	this	movie	,	and	how	did	they	pull	it	off	?	was	it	,	"	come	on	,	let's	revisit	those	good	old	days	when	we	were	worried	the	reds	would	nuke	the	crap	outta	us	.	"	or	,	"	it's	potential	nuclear	holocaust	.	.	.	with	a	heart	.	"	and	,	if	i	didn't	know	the	answer	to	the	question	of	what	moronic	producer	would	buy	the	rights	to	the	project	(	i'll	give	you	a	hint	:	he's	also	the	film's	biggest	star	)	,	i'd	ask	that	,	too	.	thirteen	days	,	the	second	film	of	2000	to	do	a	number	on	the	massachusetts	accent	(	really	,	you	should	hear	costner	,	he	sounds	like	a	drunk	new	jerseyite	)	,	deals	with	a	time	period	of	13	days	during	which	we	almost	destroyed	the	world	.	no	,	it's	not	crimson	tide	,	part	2	.	it's	the	cuban	missle	crisis	,	and	it's	presented	here	to	us	by	the	incapable	hands	of	director	roger	donaldson	,	who	gives	us	such	terrors	as	the	"	artistic	"	blending	of	black	and	white	and	a	digitally	constructed	white	house	exterior	.	and	,	spending	two	and	a	half	hours	exploring	as	few	facets	of	this	story	as	possible	,	roger	donaldson	tries	to	keep	us	guessing	.	his	goofy	mind	tricks	are	so	incompetent	that	,	at	one	point	as	the	film	underwent	technical	difficulties	,	i	had	to	just	yell	out	,	"	so	come	on	,	did	we	all	die	or	what	?	"	there	really	isn't	much	that	i	can	tell	you	about	the	events	within	thirteen	days	that	you	can't	read	in	books	,	but	in	case	you	never	attended	junior	high	and	think	the	cuban	missile	crisis	was	a	bad	porno	,	here's	the	story	:	in	1962	,	the	soviets	began	putting	nukes	in	cuba	,	hoping	to	blow	us	away	.	forget	the	fact	that	we	had	missiles	in	europe	and	had	similar	attack	capabilities	the	soviets	could	have	blown	us	away	in	about	five	minutes	,	and	,	as	americans	,	we	were	really	pissed	off	about	this	.	admittedly	,	the	cuban	missile	crisis	was	a	bit	before	my	time	,	but	come	on	,	do	we	have	to	see	the	movie	?	and	even	if	we	have	to	see	the	movie	,	does	it	have	to	be	this	bad	?	every	time	a	new	character	is	introduced	,	they	come	complete	with	a	subtitle	bearing	their	name	and	position	,	and	are	then	greeted	.	it's	surprising	bruce	greenwood	doesn't	wear	a	nametag	that	reads	,	"	hello	,	my	name	is	mr	.	president	.	"	dramatic	family	montages	,	cheap	stock	footage	,	cliched	characters	,	they're	all	here	.	and	,	even	worse	,	the	film	drags	on	for	the	aforementioned	2	1	2	hours	,	all	failing	to	build	even	a	semblance	of	suspense	.	imagine	apollo	13	if	it	were	made	really	badly	bad	filmmaking	coupled	with	an	ending	that	you	can't	change	(	though	donaldson	actually	tries	to	trick	us	at	many	points	by	interspersing	stock	footage	of	nuclear	explosions	into	the	movie	,	we	know	better	)	.	the	result	is	not	a	reliving	of	the	cuban	missile	crisis	:	it's	a	sickening	exploitation	of	a	historical	event	.	don't	believe	me	?	go	to	the	movie's	web	site	(	see	below	)	and	check	out	the	strategic	military	exercise	,	a	game	in	which	it's	your	patriotic	responsibility	to	destroy	all	russian	forces	.
neg	directed	by	:	stephen	t	.	kay	written	by	:	ted	lewis	(	novel	)	,	david	mckenna	jack	carter	(	sylvester	stallone	)	beats	people	up	for	a	living	.	or	,	as	he	says	,	people	make	promises	and	break	them	;	he	refreshes	their	memories	(	i	still	don't	get	that	.	they	broke	the	promise	,	they	didn't	forget	it	.	oh	well	)	.	when	his	brother	dies	in	a	car	accident	,	jack	goes	back	to	his	hometown	to	find	out	what	happened	to	him	.	he	meets	his	brother's	daughter	,	doreen	(	rachael	leigh	cook	)	,	who	obviously	doesn't	like	jack	,	but	confides	in	him	that	she	doesn't	think	her	father's	death	was	an	accident	.	he	proceeds	to	question	his	sister	in	law	,	gloria	(	miranda	richardson	)	;	his	brother's	boss	,	cliff	(	michael	caine	)	;	cyrus	,	an	old	acquaintance	who	now	runs	a	porn	shop	(	mickey	rourke	)	;	and	a	rich	computer	geek	named	jeremy	kinnear	(	alan	cumming	)	.	none	of	them	will	give	him	straight	answers	,	so	jack	decides	to	beat	the	information	he	needs	out	of	anyone	he	can	find	.	he	says	he's	going	to	fix	things	,	but	as	gloria	points	out	,	jack	doesn't	fix	things	,	he	breaks	things	.	ahh	where	to	begin	.	let	me	start	by	saying	that	there	is	really	nothing	good	about	"	get	carter	"	.	i	mean	nothing	at	all	.	i	hunted	and	searched	endlessly	for	a	good	thing	here	,	pinching	myself	occasionally	to	stay	awake	.	alas	,	it	was	all	for	naught	.	it's	never	a	good	sign	when	the	car	chases	bore	you	,	the	story	loses	you	,	the	jokes	hurt	you	,	and	the	nicest	thing	you	can	say	about	the	movie	is	,	"	boy	,	that's	a	nice	looking	golf	course	.	"	that	was	a	very	nice	looking	golf	course	by	the	way	.	wish	i	could	play	there	.	it	was	nestled	away	on	a	mountain	,	perfectly	kept	,	surrounded	by	a	deep	forest	of	evergreen	trees	.	beautiful	scenery	.	sorry	,	i	just	don't	want	to	talk	about	the	stupid	movie	.	still	,	i	can't	procrastinate	any	longer	,	so	here	goes	.	try	to	imagine	getting	deposited	right	in	the	middle	of	a	film	that	makes	no	sense	at	all	.	when	i	first	walked	in	,	i	thought	i'd	somehow	missed	half	the	movie	since	the	characters	were	all	talking	to	each	other	like	we	were	supposed	to	know	what	was	going	on	.	here's	an	example	of	the	dialogue	between	sly	and	one	of	the	bobs	from	"	office	space	"	.	bob	:	"	i've	covered	your	a	for	long	enough	jack	.	"	sly	:	"	what	are	you	talking	about	?	"	(	my	sentiments	exactly	)	bob	:	"	well	,	you	know	,	people	are	talking	about	you	and	gertrude	(	or	something	like	that	,	i	just	remember	her	name	started	with	a	"	g	"	)	.	"	sly	:	"	if	people	are	talking	it's	because	you	gave	them	something	to	talk	about	.	"	now	,	bear	in	mind	,	this	is	at	the	very	start	of	the	film	.	we	don't	know	who	gertrude	is	,	who	bob	(	that's	not	the	character's	name	,	but	that's	what	i	kept	mentally	calling	him	)	is	,	what	jack's	job	is	,	what	in	the	world	is	going	on	.	already	i	was	starting	to	not	really	care	all	that	much	.	none	of	these	questions	are	ever	fully	answered	(	especially	not	the	last	one	)	,	and	i	never	did	start	caring	what	was	going	on	.	i	tried	my	best	though	dang	it	,	i	tried	to	get	into	this	story	,	but	i	couldn't	.	it	was	too	.	.	.	too	.	.	.	what's	the	word	i'm	looking	for	?	stupid	!	that's	it	.	as	for	the	actors	,	first	up	we	have	the	great	sly	stallone	.	sly's	career	has	been	on	the	rocks	lately	,	and	he	.	.	.	uhh	.	.	line	?	sorry	,	sly's	career	has	been	on	the	rocks	,	and	he	needed	a	boost	to	rev	reval	revitilz	.	.	.	line	?	sly	needed	this	movie	to	revitalize	his	diminishing	career	,	after	box	office	failures	such	as	.	.	.	uhh	.	.	line	?	forget	it	,	take	five	.	sorry	about	that	folks	,	but	sly's	acting	in	"	get	carter	"	really	is	that	bad	.	the	man	looks	completely	lost	during	half	his	scenes	,	and	i'm	willing	to	wager	they	took	several	hundred	takes	before	he	got	it	right	.	during	a	few	of	the	so	called	"	dramatic	"	moments	,	he	has	long	pauses	during	his	varied	speeches	,	during	which	he	gazes	into	the	distance	for	dramatic	effect	.	i'm	sorry	,	but	it	looks	like	he	forgot	his	lines	and	is	looking	desperately	for	cue	cards	somewhere	.	miranda	richardson	(	"	sleepy	hollow	"	)	,	is	wasted	in	nearly	every	movie	she	appears	in	these	days	,	that	trend	doesn't	change	with	"	get	carter	"	.	the	great	michael	caine	(	"	the	cider	house	rules	"	)	is	completely	wasted	as	the	brother's	friend	and	boss	.	i	didn't	think	it	was	possible	for	mickey	rourke	(	"	the	rainmaker	"	)	to	be	considered	wasted	(	i'm	usually	fairly	happy	when	he	has	limited	screen	time	)	,	but	it	was	pulled	off	here	.	robin	leigh	cook	(	"	she's	all	that	"	)	plays	robin	leigh	cook	to	the	hilt	,	looking	vaguely	like	a	deer	caught	in	the	headlights	of	a	semi	;	and	the	less	said	about	alan	cumming	(	"	titus	"	)	the	better	off	we'll	all	be	.	don't	ask	me	to	explain	bob's	(	john	c	.	mcginley	)	presence	,	or	the	character's	significance	in	the	story	,	because	i	can't	.	i	don't	get	it	.	how	does	a	movie	this	bad	get	made	in	this	day	and	age	?	don't	the	studios	read	the	scripts	before	green	lighting	a	film	?	guess	not	.	i'd	like	to	say	that	in	the	hands	of	a	more	capable	director	this	could	have	been	something	,	but	that's	not	the	case	.	still	,	the	direction	(	if	you	can	call	it	that	)	from	relative	newcomer	stephan	t	.	kay	doesn't	help	matters	.	to	start	with	,	i	like	a	movie	that	throws	me	right	into	the	middle	of	the	plot	;	a	movie	that	skips	all	that	often	pointless	exposition	of	plot	that	will	be	revealed	again	later	on	.	what	i	don't	like	is	a	movie	that	throws	us	into	the	middle	of	things	and	never	explains	itself	,	and	"	get	carter	"	is	just	that	kind	of	movie	.	kay	seems	to	consider	himself	something	of	an	oliver	stone	fan	,	since	he's	fond	of	quick	cuts	all	over	the	place	,	sudden	shifts	to	slow	motion	,	and	anything	else	he	can	think	of	to	"	dazzle	"	the	eye	.	yet	while	stone's	technique	is	irritating	,	kay's	is	excruciating	.	i	didn't	think	it	was	possible	to	mangle	a	car	chase	to	the	point	where	you	could	no	longer	tell	who	was	driving	what	,	or	who	just	smashed	into	whom	,	but	kay	manages	to	do	it	.	or	how	about	this	?	sly	walks	up	the	stairs	,	putting	on	leather	gloves	and	getting	ready	to	crack	some	skulls	.	rather	than	just	filming	sly	walking	up	the	stairs	,	kay	films	sly	walking	up	the	stairs	in	quick	little	bursts	.	first	he's	at	the	bottom	,	then	half	way	up	,	then	at	the	top	.	why	was	it	filmed	like	this	?	possibly	to	make	the	film	look	more	artistic	(	heh	)	,	but	your	guess	is	as	good	as	mine	.	next	up	we	have	the	dialogue	,	which	is	amusingly	bad	at	its	best	,	painful	at	its	worst	.	here	are	a	few	examples	:	"	you've	got	as	much	chance	as	a	one	legged	man	in	an	a	kicking	contest	.	"	gee	,	clever	sly	,	never	heard	that	one	before	.	sly	approaches	alan	cumming	on	that	neat	looking	golf	course	.	alan	:	"	who	are	you	?	"	sly	:	"	tiger	woods	.	"	wow	,	that	was	clever	too	.	mickey	rourke	,	referring	to	his	eyes	:	"	are	they	still	pretty	?	"	sly	:	"	yeah	,	pretty	like	cat	urine	in	the	snow	.	"	now	that	was	really	clever	.	one	of	my	"	favorite	"	lines	from	sly	was	"	we're	going	to	take	this	to	the	next	level	.	"	he	only	says	it	twice	,	but	it	was	old	the	first	time	.	hey	sly	,	how	about	taking	your	acting	to	the	next	level	?	didn't	think	so	.	the	film's	score	,	from	composer	tyler	bates	is	grating	,	obnoxious	,	and	fairly	useless	.	"	get	carter	"	runs	an	unholy	115	minutes	,	which	should	have	been	cut	down	to	.	.	uh	.	.	well	it	just	should	have	been	cut	.	i'd	recommend	the	movie	to	those	who	think	stallone	was	jilted	when	he	didn't	get	an	oscar	nomination	for	"	judge	dredd	"	,	and	give	the	film	a	much	deserved	one	out	of	five	stars	.	one	last	note	,	i	know	i	had	a	full	plot	summary	up	there	,	but	here's	the	real	plot	:	jack	asks	question	,	person	won't	answer	,	jack	threatens	then	with	cheesy	catch	phrase	or	twists	a	limb	till	they	cry	uncle	,	person	answers	.	what's	the	final	threat	of	the	movie	?	possible	sequel	is	hinted	at	.	uncle	!	uncle	!	comments	?	send	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	past	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	"	http	:	www	.	epinions	.	com	user	elerad	a	or	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	john	beachem	a	one	of	the	best	movies	of	the	year	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	at	your	own	risk	.	see	this	one	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	hr	get	your	private	,	free	e	mail	from	msn	hotmail	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	.	a	share	information	about	yourself	,	create	your	own	public	profile	at	a	href	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	"	http	:	profiles	.	msn	.	com	.	a
neg	it's	time	to	take	cover	.	after	a	hiatus	of	about	fifteen	years	,	the	disaster	movie	has	come	back	with	renewed	zest	.	in	early	1997	,	there	were	no	less	than	three	movies	about	volcanoes	alone	,	one	on	television	and	two	in	the	theaters	,	with	dante's	peak	and	volcano	in	heavy	competition	for	the	moviegoing	dollar	.	of	the	two	,	i	had	heard	that	dante's	peak	was	the	better	film	,	so	i	decided	to	check	it	out	when	it	was	released	on	video	.	the	film	begins	with	a	slow	motion	scene	of	people	in	a	third	world	country	trying	to	evacuate	their	little	town	.	the	town	is	being	covered	in	ash	and	sulfuric	water	from	what	we	presume	is	a	volcanic	eruption	.	flaming	rocks	of	various	sizes	also	fall	from	the	sky	,	crushing	homes	and	people	.	we	see	people	panicking	,	people	crying	,	and	even	horses	rearing	.	it	is	a	disaster	of	biblical	proportions	,	signified	to	us	by	one	person	dragging	a	cross	down	a	road	.	symbolism	doesn't	get	much	more	blatant	than	that	.	we	learn	that	harry	dalton	(	pierce	brosnan	)	,	a	volcanologist	with	the	u	.	s	.	geological	survey	,	was	there	with	his	wife	when	the	eruption	occurred	.	harry	survived	,	but	his	wife	did	not	.	a	few	years	later	,	harry	is	sent	to	investigate	some	unusual	seismic	activity	detected	near	the	small	town	of	dante's	peak	,	washington	(	which	,	we	are	told	,	has	been	voted	second	most	desirable	place	to	live	(	under	20	,	000	)	by	the	readers	of	money	magazine	)	.	there	harry	meets	rachel	wando	,	a	single	mother	of	two	who	serves	as	mayor	of	dante's	peak	and	proprietor	of	a	small	coffee	shop	.	although	the	mayor	doesn't	seem	to	be	alarmed	by	the	presence	of	a	man	sent	to	determine	if	the	mountain	next	to	their	town	is	going	to	blow	up	,	a	few	members	of	the	city	council	are	.	they	are	afraid	that	harry's	presence	is	going	to	scare	off	an	investor	who	has	pledged	to	put	millions	of	dollars	into	developing	dante's	peak	.	they	would	rather	have	any	news	of	possible	stirrings	within	the	neighboring	dormant	volcano	swept	under	the	rug	.	however	,	when	an	amorous	young	couple	takes	a	skinny	dip	in	the	local	hot	springs	,	they	turn	up	cooked	by	lava	which	bubbles	up	from	a	small	fissure	underneath	.	thus	begins	a	chain	of	events	leading	up	to	the	inevitable	eruption	.	this	film	contains	a	number	of	cliches	.	the	amorous	couple	is	one	.	as	soon	as	they	doff	their	clothes	,	you	know	they're	going	to	die	.	the	town	busybody	and	the	abrasive	mother	in	law	make	appearances	,	as	does	the	death	defying	dog	.	countless	familiar	scenarios	only	serve	to	make	this	film	very	predictable	.	watching	the	movie	,	i	was	able	to	not	only	anticipate	each	of	the	major	plot	elements	,	but	some	of	the	dialogue	as	well	.	unfortunate	,	since	much	of	the	dialog	is	terrible	.	for	example	,	harry's	boss	,	paul	(	charles	hallahan	)	,	and	a	team	from	the	u	.	s	.	geological	survey	join	harry	to	assess	the	situation	.	paul	basically	tells	the	townsfolk	that	harry's	eruption	predictions	aren't	cause	for	alarm	.	this	causes	harry	to	leave	in	a	fit	of	rage	,	only	to	turn	up	the	next	day	,	ready	for	work	.	when	paul	asks	harry	why	he	stayed	,	he	says	with	grim	determination	,	"	cause	this	town's	in	trouble	and	i'm	the	best	man	you've	got	.	"	even	better	is	when	harry	is	trying	to	explain	the	need	to	jolt	the	residents	into	leaving	.	he	likens	the	situation	to	how	a	frog	will	jump	out	if	dropped	into	a	pot	of	boiling	water	.	if	the	frog	is	in	cold	water	which	is	gradually	heated	up	,	however	,	the	frog	won't	move	and	will	allow	itself	to	be	cooked	.	"	is	that	your	recipe	for	frog	soup	?	"	asks	one	of	the	team	members	.	"	it's	my	recipe	for	disaster	,	"	responds	harry	.	dante's	peak	has	a	singular	talent	for	pointing	out	the	obvious	.	our	heroes	are	in	a	boat	in	the	middle	of	a	lake	which	harry	realizes	the	volcanic	activity	has	turned	to	acid	.	mayor	wando	demonstrates	her	brilliant	powers	of	deduction	by	proclaiming	,	in	a	very	grave	tone	,	"	acid	eats	metal	.	"	thanks	for	the	tip	.	when	we	first	see	the	u	.	s	.	geological	survey	building	,	there's	a	caption	labeling	it	as	such	.	this	wouldn't	have	been	so	bad	if	it	weren't	for	the	fact	that	the	caption	is	right	above	a	sign	on	the	building	which	reads	,	in	large	letters	,	"	u	.	s	.	geological	survey	.	"	i	suppose	the	caption	is	for	people	who	can't	read	signs	.	although	harry	and	mayor	wando	become	an	item	by	the	end	of	the	film	,	the	viewer	has	no	idea	why	.	there	is	a	severe	lack	of	chemistry	between	the	two	characters	,	and	the	relationship	seems	rushed	because	of	this	.	when	they	get	close	to	kissing	,	i	was	asking	myself	,	"	why	do	they	want	to	kiss	?	were	they	even	attracted	to	each	other	?	"	if	i	were	the	mayor	,	i	would	sure	think	twice	about	kissing	a	guy	who	doesn't	even	crack	a	smile	through	the	whole	movie	,	trying	to	pull	off	the	rough	yet	debonair	act	.	who	does	he	think	he	is	?	james	bond	?	the	eruption	of	the	volcano	feels	similarly	rushed	.	there	are	several	"	warning	signs	"	prior	to	the	eruption	itself	,	but	they	are	so	lackluster	and	without	suspense	that	we	don't	feel	as	if	they	are	leading	up	to	anything	.	for	example	,	one	of	the	survey	team	members	makes	his	way	down	into	the	crater	of	the	volcano	in	order	to	retrieve	a	remote	controlled	robot	.	a	tremor	occurs	.	does	he	plunge	headlong	to	his	death	?	is	he	engulfed	in	lava	which	shoots	up	from	below	?	no	,	a	couple	of	rocks	fall	on	him	and	break	his	leg	.	the	sole	purpose	of	this	scene	seemed	to	be	to	set	up	the	subsequent	chopper	rescue	scene	,	which	i	suppose	was	intended	to	be	dramatic	as	well	.	it	wasn't	.	one	plot	thread	left	noticeably	hanging	was	the	investment	in	the	town	of	dante's	peak	.	in	a	disaster	movie	,	there's	usually	one	guy	who's	greedy	enough	to	cover	up	the	possibility	of	eruption	fire	earthquake	explosion	tsunami	tornado	meteorite	,	and	usually	gets	killed	by	the	disaster	.	it's	okay	,	of	course	,	because	we	all	think	he	got	what	he	deserved	.	if	you're	going	to	be	unoriginal	,	you	might	as	well	go	all	the	way	.	in	dante's	peak	,	the	city	councilmembers	are	concerned	,	but	they	don't	really	try	hard	enough	.	maybe	the	mayor's	abrasive	mother	in	law	should	have	been	the	one	.	for	no	apparent	reason	,	she	snaps	at	harry	for	even	positing	that	the	volcano	could	erupt	.	perhaps	her	ancestors	invested	in	some	pompeii	real	estate	.	there	are	a	couple	of	good	things	about	this	movie	.	the	first	is	the	scenery	.	there	are	panoramic	shots	of	forests	,	lakes	and	mountains	that	are	absolutely	beautiful	.	the	second	is	the	special	effects	.	they	are	the	closest	i've	ever	seen	to	a	real	pyroclastic	eruption	.	but	when	elements	which	don't	speak	are	going	to	be	the	best	parts	of	your	movie	,	you'd	probably	better	rewrite	the	script	.
neg	i'll	be	the	first	to	admit	it	.	when	you	mention	the	book	great	expectations	,	i	immediately	begin	experiencing	flashbacks	to	junior	high	english	class	,	where	i	was	confronted	with	a	torturously	boring	book	filled	with	people	with	such	nonsensical	names	as	pip	and	magwitch	.	yes	,	it's	a	classic	of	literature	,	but	it	was	a	rather	dry	one	,	shoved	down	my	young	throat	like	a	spoonful	of	bitter	medicine	.	certainly	,	the	experience	wasn't	truly	that	bad	,	but	,	to	quote	ethan	hawke	in	the	latest	movie	adaptation	of	said	book	,	"	i'm	not	going	to	tell	the	story	the	way	it	happened	.	.	.	i'll	gonna	tell	it	the	way	i	remember	it	.	"	anyway	,	to	return	from	nostalgia	lane	,	and	get	back	to	the	present	,	hollywood	,	in	it's	trendy	attempt	to	modernize	the	classics	,	now	presents	an	updated	film	version	of	great	expectations	.	instead	of	pip	,	this	time	the	central	character	is	named	finn	(	played	as	a	boy	by	jeremy	kissner	,	and	by	ethan	hawke	as	an	adult	)	.	finn	is	an	orphan	being	raised	by	his	unfaithful	sister	maggie	,	or	should	that	be	mrs	.	joe	,	(	kim	dickens	)	,	and	her	boorish	fisherman	husband	,	joe	(	chris	cooper	)	.	the	setting	is	the	florida	coast	during	the	mid	70s	.	finn	is	a	blooming	artist	,	and	spends	his	time	running	around	the	beach	drawing	fish	(	one	of	his	two	favorite	subjects	)	.	during	one	of	these	escapades	,	he	literally	stumbles	upon	an	escaped	criminal	(	robert	deniro	)	.	borrowing	a	page	from	the	superhuman	max	cady	,	deniro's	criminal	has	a	seemingly	limitless	lung	capacity	,	and	favors	hiding	on	the	ocean	floor	.	ok	.	.	.	maybe	that's	an	exaggeration	,	but	he	certainly	beats	any	of	houdini's	records	in	the	opening	scenes	of	the	film	.	and	that's	nothing	next	to	the	fuel	efficiency	of	finn's	motorboat	,	but	i	digress	.	anyway	,	finn	does	the	convict	a	good	deed	,	just	to	show	that	he's	a	really	swell	guy	.	and	then	the	plot	moves	on	.	enter	miss	havisham	.	.	.	or	ms	.	dinsmoor	here	(	anne	bancroft	)	.	abandoned	at	the	altar	some	26	years	ago	,	ms	.	dinsmoor	is	the	epitome	of	the	crazy	rich	old	maid	.	with	bizarre	clothing	,	eccentric	mannerisms	and	a	few	pounds	of	makeup	,	anne	bancroft	seriously	overacts	in	this	role	.	although	she	ends	up	nowhere	near	a	believable	character	,	she	does	add	some	humor	to	the	film	.	joe	is	hired	to	help	with	the	gardening	at	her	unkempt	manner	,	but	the	insane	ms	.	dinsmoor	soon	hires	finn	to	be	a	plaything	for	her	niece	,	estella	(	raquel	beaudene	as	a	young	girl	,	gwyneth	paltrow	as	an	adult	)	.	for	no	apparent	reason	,	other	than	to	provide	the	main	plot	of	the	film	,	finn	is	instantly	stricken	for	the	estella	.	perhaps	it's	her	snooty	attitude	or	her	utter	disdain	for	his	person	,	or	maybe	finn	has	simply	never	met	a	girl	before	.	in	any	case	,	neither	as	children	nor	adults	,	chemistry	simply	doesn't	exist	between	the	two	,	and	yet	finn	spends	the	remainder	of	the	film	pining	for	her	.	even	when	,	as	an	adult	,	finn	arrives	in	new	york	at	the	behest	of	a	mysterious	benefactor	,	reacquaints	himself	with	estella	,	and	draws	her	portrait	in	the	nude	,	there's	nothing	.	in	fact	,	there	is	more	sexual	tension	between	helen	hunt	and	greg	kinnear's	gay	artist	during	a	similar	scene	in	as	good	as	it	gets	.	at	this	point	,	the	audience	has	grown	as	cold	and	detached	as	estella's	character	,	and	couldn't	care	less	about	the	two	characters	.	the	bulk	of	the	blame	here	falls	upon	gwyneth	paltrow	.	she	fails	to	imbue	estella	,	a	remote	character	in	the	book	,	with	even	the	vaguest	traces	of	humanity	.	there's	obviously	something	wrong	when	,	watching	the	film	,	you're	more	interested	with	how	big	her	nose	looks	in	silhouette	than	you	are	about	her	character	.	without	a	strong	estella	,	finn's	obsession	seems	baseless	.	you	wish	he	would	just	stop	whining	,	let	estella	marry	his	rival	,	walter	plane	(	an	oddly	subdued	hank	azaria	)	,	and	just	get	on	with	his	life	.	in	fact	,	the	two	relationships	that	work	in	the	film	are	purely	tangential	to	the	main	plot	.	finn's	relationship	with	his	brother	in	law	,	joe	,	is	interesting	,	if	a	bit	stereotypical	.	what's	more	fascinating	are	his	interactions	with	deniro	.	although	it's	only	a	bit	part	,	it	goes	to	show	how	much	vitality	a	strong	actor	can	create	.	it	is	apparent	that	director	alfonso	cuarsn	put	a	lot	of	work	in	creating	the	imagery	of	the	film	.	some	of	the	shots	work	,	but	others	are	too	obviously	staged	(	for	example	,	both	of	the	water	fountain	scenes	)	to	have	any	impact	.	finn's	art	(	actually	the	creations	of	italian	painter	,	francesco	clemente	)	is	used	throughout	the	film	,	but	it	mostly	fails	to	have	the	intended	effect	.	we	never	see	why	finn	would	generate	this	style	of	art	,	which	is	simultaneously	crude	and	insightful	.	as	a	result	,	it	ends	up	as	distant	as	the	rest	of	the	film	.	modernizing	the	classics	is	currently	in	vogue	(	just	see	william	shakespeare's	romeo	juliet	)	.	simply	update	the	action	to	a	modern	setting	,	and	apply	plenty	of	modern	rock	.	but	such	adornments	do	little	to	perk	up	great	expectations	.	as	much	as	i	dreaded	the	novel	when	i	first	read	it	,	you'd	probably	be	better	off	suffering	though	a	reading	than	watching	this	romanceless	film	.
neg	in	the	finale	of	disney's	"	mighty	joe	young	,	"	a	15	foot	tall	,	2000	pound	gorilla	holds	a	frightened	young	boy	in	its	clutches	as	it	topples	from	a	crippled	ferris	wheel	and	plummets	to	the	ground	.	upon	impact	,	rugged	everyman	and	perennial	do	gooder	bill	paxton	rushes	in	,	containing	the	emotional	crowd	with	an	earnest	"	move	along	now	folks	,	there's	nothing	to	see	here	.	"	ok	,	so	those	aren't	exactly	the	words	he	uses	,	but	it's	probably	one	of	the	few	clichs	not	uttered	in	this	unnecessary	remake	of	an	unnecessary	remake	of	that	mother	of	all	monster	movies	,	"	king	kong	.	"	1949's	"	mighty	joe	young	"	was	an	update	of	that	classic	creature	feature	,	also	based	on	merian	c	.	cooper's	original	story	(	16	years	after	"	'kong	"	it	appeared	the	world	was	ready	for	a	new	take	on	the	beauty	and	the	beast	fable	)	.	now	some	49	years	later	,	at	least	according	to	disney's	way	of	thinking	,	the	world	is	ready	for	one	more	.	not	so	.	the	only	and	i	mean	only	reason	to	see	the	1998	version	is	for	the	special	effects	.	and	these	,	unfortunately	,	run	hot	and	cold	.	today's	joe	young	is	designed	and	produced	by	special	effects	whiz	rick	baker	,	who	has	been	wowing	audiences	with	his	state	of	the	art	make	up	effects	since	1971's	"	schlock	"	(	which	,	incidentally	,	featured	a	baker	enhanced	"	gorilla	"	)	.	joe	is	a	combination	of	animatronic	effects	,	computer	graphics	,	and	that	old	standard	,	a	man	in	a	monkey	suit	.	while	there	are	occasional	flashes	of	brilliance	baker's	had	a	lot	of	practice	with	simian	effects	,	after	all	,	including	"	gorillas	in	the	mist	,	"	"	greystoke	:	the	legend	of	tarzan	,	lord	of	the	apes	,	"	and	the	1976	remake	of	"	king	kong	"	there's	also	some	surprising	cheesiness	.	one	of	the	film's	most	embarrassing	moments	is	when	paxton's	band	of	african	trackers	first	encounter	and	pursue	the	larger	than	life	primate	(	in	a	scene	unashamedly	ripped	off	from	"	the	lost	world	:	jurassic	park	"	)	.	paxton	jubilantly	extols	the	beast's	majestic	gait	at	the	same	exact	moment	as	joe	,	and	the	computer	effects	driving	him	,	stutter	to	a	halt	.	also	,	if	the	film's	producers	had	wanted	us	to	focus	our	attentions	on	the	titular	ape	they	shouldn't	have	paraded	female	lead	charlize	theron	(	"	trial	error	"	)	around	in	a	seemingly	endless	wardrobe	of	spaghetti	strapped	tops	.	even	joe	seems	distracted	at	times	.	the	film	piles	on	the	clichs	like	there's	no	tomorrow	,	including	the	predictable	plot	(	anthro	zoologists	ship	gigantic	gorilla	to	l	.	a	.	where	urban	havoc	is	inevitably	wrought	)	,	predictable	villain	(	a	lithuanian	i	think	i	overheard	someplace	)	,	predictable	love	story	(	bill	and	charlize	surprise	!	)	,	and	predictable	denouement	(	"	'twas	box	office	receipts	that	killed	the	beast	"	)	.	kids	raised	on	"	men	in	black	"	(	non	monkey	effects	also	by	baker	)	are	going	to	find	ron	(	"	tremors	"	)	underwood's	outing	a	little	lame	by	comparison	.	while	certainly	better	than	1978's	"	king	kong	lives	"	(	itself	a	lousy	sequel	to	a	not	particularly	good	remake	)	,	"	mighty	joe	young	"	proves	how	the	mighty	keep	falling	.
neg	coinciding	with	the	emerging	popularity	of	movies	that	deal	with	anything	related	to	serial	killers	,	relentless	,	1989	low	budget	thriller	about	lapd	detective	sam	dietz	,	played	by	character	actor	leo	rossi	,	spawned	three	more	sequels	.	relentless	3	,	third	in	the	row	,	features	sam	dietz	again	,	but	this	time	detective	,	who	had	to	catch	vicious	serial	killer	in	his	very	first	case	,	doesn't	want	to	deal	with	similar	line	of	work	.	divorced	,	demoralised	and	transferred	,	he	reluctantly	returns	to	his	old	post	when	los	angeles	becomes	a	hunting	ground	for	another	serial	killer	,	and	evidence	indicate	connection	with	one	of	dietz's	old	cases	.	to	make	things	even	more	interesting	,	it	seems	that	the	killer	deliberately	stages	murders	in	order	to	bring	dietz	to	the	investigation	.	fans	of	the	british	tv	films	and	mini	series	like	prime	suspect	or	cracker	would	probably	see	a	lot	of	similarities	relentless	series	of	movies	.	they	both	feature	vicious	psychopathic	killers	,	yet	also	give	a	lot	of	,	usually	depressive	,	details	about	chief	investigator's	private	lives	.	this	one	isn't	an	exception	,	but	similarities	with	british	television	are	only	in	content	.	the	execution	and	style	is	different	,	which	makes	this	film	mediocre	piece	of	entertainment	at	best	.	useless	,	gratuitous	erotica	also	doesn't	help	either	,	obviously	making	this	film	longer	than	it	should	be	.	the	actors	are	good	,	though	leo	rossi	is	fine	as	usual	,	and	william	forsythe	plays	one	of	more	compelling	villains	in	his	career	.	signy	coleman	as	dietz's	love	interest	,	is	,	on	the	other	hand	,	quite	miscast	.	but	she	won't	have	to	worry	about	it	in	the	future	career	,	since	relentless	3	wasn't	supposed	to	be	anybody's	finest	moment	anyway	.
neg	directed	by	david	twohy	.	screenplay	by	jim	wheat	,	ken	wheat	and	twohy	.	starring	vin	diesel	,	radha	mitchell	,	cole	hauser	.	running	time	:	108	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	offensive	language	and	violent	scenes	.	reviewed	on	march	16th	,	2000	.	my	first	exposure	to	"	pitch	black	"	came	when	the	preview	was	played	in	front	of	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	a	month	and	a	half	ago	.	the	preview	hinted	at	monsters	which	lived	on	a	sun	drenched	planet	but	could	only	come	out	in	the	darkness	.	then	:	"	an	eclipse	!	"	how	convenient	,	i	thought	;	i	could	see	the	whole	movie	playing	out	in	my	mind	.	i	held	out	some	hope	that	the	filmmakers	might	surprise	me	,	but	sadly	,	actually	watching	"	pitch	black	"	did	not	prove	to	be	a	revelatory	experience	.	"	pitch	black	"	is	indeed	as	improbable	,	formulaic	and	predictable	as	its	preview	implies	.	the	film	is	set	sometime	in	the	future	.	men	travel	the	stars	in	enormous	ships	,	cryogenically	frozen	for	the	duration	of	the	voyage	.	one	such	spaceship	is	knocked	off	course	and	crashlands	,	killing	all	but	a	handful	of	the	passengers	and	crew	.	the	survivors	include	docking	pilot	caroline	fry	(	radha	mitchell	)	,	uneasy	with	authority	and	plagued	by	self	doubts	;	no	nonsense	mercenary	william	johns	(	cole	hauser	)	;	and	richard	riddick	(	vin	diesel	)	,	a	convicted	murderer	.	the	planet	on	which	they	are	marooned	has	three	suns	,	and	as	a	result	is	a	dry	,	blasted	terrain	without	plants	or	water	.	soon	,	though	,	the	survivors	discover	evidence	of	a	previous	human	expedition	to	the	planet	which	appears	to	have	been	violently	wiped	out	.	the	culprits	soon	become	obvious	:	in	underground	caverns	live	hideous	creatures	which	thrive	in	darkness	and	emerge	onto	the	planet's	surface	only	during	a	total	solar	eclipse	,	which	in	a	feat	of	mathematical	and	physical	improbability	occurs	like	clockwork	every	twenty	two	years	.	of	course	,	the	cycle	is	almost	up	and	soon	the	survivors	find	themselves	under	assault	from	wave	upon	wave	of	the	terrifying	,	merciless	monsters	which	are	almost	invisible	in	the	pervasive	darkness	.	their	only	hope	lies	with	the	enigmatic	riddick	,	whose	eyes	have	been	surgically	altered	to	permit	him	to	see	in	the	dark	.	convenient	indeed	.	but	to	be	fair	,	films	have	to	be	permitted	a	certain	degree	of	latitude	when	it	comes	to	such	coincidences	;	without	them	,	in	many	cases	there	just	wouldn't	be	much	of	a	movie	.	this	is	particularly	true	of	science	fiction	movies	,	which	are	so	totally	dependent	on	the	imagined	and	the	improbable	to	begin	with	.	but	such	a	leap	of	faith	would	be	far	easier	to	make	if	it	were	in	the	service	of	an	entertaining	movie	.	"	pitch	black	"	simply	is	not	.	the	entire	movie	is	little	more	than	one	long	,	drawn	out	chase	scene	.	the	characters	have	to	get	from	point	a	to	point	b	while	avoiding	the	monsters	,	and	there	isn't	much	more	to	"	pitch	black	"	than	that	.	the	movie	is	punctuated	only	by	a	few	token	nods	to	character	development	,	as	well	as	the	obligatory	deaths	which	occur	with	almost	comical	timing	.	it	is	so	easy	to	forecast	right	from	the	start	the	identity	of	those	characters	who	survive	to	the	end	,	it's	criminal	.	this	is	a	classic	example	of	writing	by	the	numbers	;	the	screenplay	by	jim	wheat	,	ken	wheat	and	director	david	twohy	could	just	as	easily	have	been	generated	by	a	computer	program	,	it	is	so	routine	.	the	best	aspect	of	"	pitch	black	"	is	the	computer	animated	special	effects	.	there	are	some	beautiful	shots	of	the	spaceship	cruising	past	the	rings	of	a	saturn	like	planet	,	and	of	the	onset	of	the	solar	eclipse	.	the	monsters	are	also	well	designed	,	although	they	do	seem	to	owe	something	to	"	alien	"	.	twohy	at	least	has	the	presence	of	mind	to	keep	the	monsters	mostly	out	of	sight	for	much	of	the	film	,	adding	to	their	sense	of	menace	.	even	when	they	are	fully	unveiled	,	the	lighting	and	camerawork	keeps	them	indistinct	.	it's	a	shame	,	then	,	that	"	pitch	black	"	utilizes	them	in	such	tired	,	unimaginative	situations	.	they	hammer	against	doors	.	they	follow	the	party	just	out	of	sight	in	the	darkness	.	they	pop	out	of	nowhere	in	an	apparently	empty	corridor	.	there	aren't	many	genuine	frights	here	,	and	even	the	rare	creepy	moments	are	obvious	and	predictable	.	part	of	the	movie's	problem	is	that	it	develops	few	sympathetic	characters	to	generate	viewer	interest	.	i	found	it	difficult	to	be	absorbed	into	the	atmosphere	of	terror	"	pitch	black	"	attempts	to	generate	when	i	had	absolutely	no	emotional	investment	in	the	characters	whatsoever	.	i	think	it	says	something	about	the	movie	that	of	the	three	principals	,	the	most	sympathetic	is	the	mass	murderer	,	riddick	.	sort	of	a	hunky	hannibal	lecter	with	super	powers	,	diesel	does	a	good	job	of	making	riddick	an	intriguing	anti	hero	while	not	forgetting	that	he	is	,	after	all	,	still	a	criminal	.	mitchell	and	hauser	,	meanwhile	,	struggle	futilely	with	their	unmemorable	,	unlikeable	characters	.	the	rest	of	the	ragtag	band	is	largely	forgettable	,	although	keith	david	does	what	he	can	with	the	underdeveloped	role	of	the	spiritual	imam	.	"	pitch	black	"	is	a	dismal	and	tedious	exercise	in	moviemaking	,	failing	even	to	provide	the	requisite	thrills	and	chills	,	let	alone	living	up	to	the	enormous	potential	of	the	science	fiction	genre	.	sci	f	provides	filmmakers	with	the	opportunity	to	exercise	the	entire	breadth	of	their	vision	and	creativity	,	to	do	things	no	other	genre	permits	.	it	is	all	the	more	unfortunate	,	then	,	to	see	a	movie	like	"	pitch	black	"	dismiss	this	opportunity	in	favor	of	the	banal	and	the	ordinary	.	while	the	characters	spend	the	entire	movie	running	around	the	deathtrap	planet	,	the	audience	is	well	advised	to	run	in	only	one	direction	:	away	from	the	theater	.	either	that	,	or	go	into	cryogenic	sleep	until	"	pitch	black	"	is	over	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	pitchblack	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	pitchblack	.	html	a
neg	cast	:	casper	van	dien	,	jane	march	,	steven	waddingham	director	:	carl	schenkel	producers	:	stanley	canter	,	dieter	geissler	,	michael	lake	screenplay	:	baynard	johnson	and	j	.	anderson	black	based	on	the	"	tarzan	"	stories	by	edgar	rice	burroughs	cinematography	:	paul	gilpin	music	:	christopher	franke	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	warner	brothers	this	is	the	kind	of	movie	that	makes	one	appreciate	disney's	live	action	george	of	the	jungle	.	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	,	the	latest	attempt	to	bring	edgar	rice	burrough's	legendary	hero	to	the	big	screen	,	is	one	of	the	most	inept	and	ill	timed	of	any	tarzan	adventure	so	far	.	badly	conceived	and	poorly	executed	,	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	appears	headed	for	a	quick	trip	to	video	store	shelves	.	i	have	no	idea	why	the	producers	chose	now	to	bring	back	tarzan	;	it's	not	as	if	there	are	legions	of	new	fans	clamoring	for	his	next	movie	.	furthermore	,	it's	even	more	curious	that	this	film	is	rated	pg	,	which	,	by	definition	,	rules	out	any	sex	or	explicit	violence	.	and	,	while	i'm	not	advocating	the	excesses	embraced	by	the	1981	bo	derek	version	of	the	story	,	tarzan	deserves	a	slightly	more	adult	approach	than	the	one	used	in	the	embarrassing	production	.	of	course	,	no	tweaking	of	the	content	to	change	the	rating	could	have	saved	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	,	since	the	film's	troubles	originated	with	the	script	and	were	propagated	all	the	way	down	the	line	.	imagine	george	of	the	jungle	stripped	of	all	(	intentional	)	humor	,	and	you	have	a	fair	idea	of	what	this	tarzan	is	like	.	with	its	uninspired	action	and	tepid	adventure	sequences	,	the	film	barely	registers	a	pulse	.	anyone	in	search	of	a	relatively	entertaining	,	family	jungle	adventure	should	check	out	the	1994	version	of	the	jungle	book	,	which	uses	the	same	basic	elements	to	much	better	effect	.	the	only	worthwhile	element	of	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	is	the	pretty	scenery	(	which	,	unfortunately	,	includes	the	two	lead	actors	)	.	the	film	doesn't	attempt	to	re	tell	the	origin	story	the	thinking	is	that	it	has	been	done	often	enough	.	instead	,	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	introduces	us	to	lord	graystoke	a	.	k	.	a	.	john	clayton	a	.	k	.	a	.	tarzan	the	ape	man	(	casper	van	dien	)	several	days	before	his	marriage	to	lady	jane	porter	(	jane	march	)	.	he	is	living	happily	in	england	,	enjoying	the	benefits	of	being	a	land	owning	noble	.	meanwhile	,	in	central	africa	,	the	dastardly	nigel	ravens	(	steven	waddington	)	,	a	self	proclaimed	scholar	and	explorer	,	believes	he	has	found	the	way	to	the	lost	city	of	opar	,	which	he	calls	the	cradle	of	civilization	.	on	the	way	there	,	he	and	his	band	of	mercenaries	do	all	sorts	of	nasty	things	,	like	burning	native	villages	,	to	earn	the	wrath	of	the	locals	.	one	shaman	,	determined	to	stop	ravens	from	unearthing	opal	,	sends	a	mystical	message	to	tarzan	for	help	.	with	lady	jane	following	close	behind	,	he	returns	to	the	jungle	where	he	was	born	.	its	patently	obvious	that	casper	van	dien	(	one	of	the	pretty	boy	heroes	of	starship	troopers	)	was	not	hired	on	the	basis	of	his	acting	ability	.	with	his	plastic	facial	expressions	,	monotone	voice	,	and	complete	inability	to	make	convincing	animal	noises	,	his	range	rivals	that	of	steven	seagal	.	his	pecs	,	however	,	are	impressive	,	and	director	carl	schenkel	makes	sure	that	he	is	given	every	opportunity	to	show	them	off	.	jane	march	,	on	the	other	hand	,	has	to	keep	her	shirt	on	,	which	may	be	a	first	for	her	.	some	six	years	ago	,	march	give	a	solid	performance	in	jean	jacques	annaud's	steamy	the	lover	.	since	then	,	she	made	the	career	killing	decision	of	appearing	opposite	bruce	willis	in	the	color	of	night	,	which	exploited	her	every	acting	defiency	.	tarzan	continues	this	trend	.	march	may	be	attractive	,	but	,	at	least	judging	by	this	performance	,	she	can't	act	.	meanwhile	,	steven	waddington	has	serious	trouble	summoning	up	the	menace	necessary	to	be	a	really	detestable	bad	guy	.	instead	,	he	turns	out	to	be	little	more	than	a	nuisance	.	the	story	line	is	pure	formula	,	which	has	largely	been	true	throughout	the	years	for	almost	all	of	the	tarzan	movies	.	the	problem	is	that	this	one	seems	so	childish	and	lifeless	.	the	romantic	elements	are	all	contrived	in	fact	,	lady	jane's	presence	is	necessary	only	so	she	can	be	captured	and	subsequently	rescued	by	her	buff	fiance	.	the	special	effects	are	truly	bottom	of	the	barrel	(	including	some	laughably	bad	men	in	ape	costumes	apparently	,	animatronics	were	too	expensive	for	this	production	)	.	and	,	of	course	,	as	with	all	jungle	movies	,	there	are	the	obligatory	cute	animals	.	over	the	years	,	the	legend	of	tarzan	has	been	one	of	the	most	popular	sources	for	film	series	material	.	the	most	famous	ape	man	was	johnny	weismuller	,	but	no	less	than	two	dozen	other	actors	have	essayed	the	part	(	including	gordon	scott	,	who	is	widely	believed	to	be	the	best	actor	to	tackle	the	role	)	.	weismuller	made	12	tarzan	features	;	van	dien	will	probably	fall	11	short	of	that	number	.	and	,	having	seen	tarzan	and	the	lost	city	,	i	would	argue	that	the	movie	going	public	would	have	been	well	served	if	he	had	missed	by	12	.
neg	director	:	josiane	balasko	writers	:	patrick	aubre	and	josiane	balasko	(	story	by	telsche	borman	)	starring	:	victoria	abril	,	josiane	balasko	,	alain	chabat	,	ticky	holgado	,	miguel	bos	contrary	to	popular	belief	,	not	every	single	foregin	film	released	to	an	american	market	is	a	masterpiece	.	some	of	them	aren't	even	good	.	some	examples	of	this	principle	are	the	aboslutely	dreadful	"	un	indien	dans	la	ville	"	(	presented	as	"	little	indian	,	big	city	,	"	and	remade	into	that	crap	tim	allen	flick	,	"	jungle2jungle	"	)	,	and	this	.	what	could	have	been	a	clever	little	sex	comedy	turns	into	one	mess	of	a	french	flick	.	"	french	twist	"	(	the	"	cool	"	american	title	,	not	the	real	one	,	which	was	"	gazon	maudit	,	"	literally	meaning	"	twisted	ground	,	"	or	something	like	that	)	deals	with	a	married	couple	with	kids	,	and	the	intrusion	of	a	stranger	who	kinda	screws	things	up	for	them	.	loli	and	alain	chabat	(	victoria	abril	and	alain	chabat	)	are	not	exactly	happily	married	.	always	on	business	trips	,	alain	chabat	more	than	once	cheats	on	her	,	and	she	eventually	finds	out	.	and	one	day	,	she	meets	a	butch	mechanic	,	marijo	(	the	co	writer	director	josiane	balasko	)	,	and	they	two	kinda	hit	it	off	.	so	she	decides	she	will	get	back	at	alain	chabat	by	doing	the	obvious	:	sleeping	with	marijo	.	but	she	soons	starts	to	not	only	fall	in	love	with	marijo	,	but	she's	also	realizes	she's	still	in	love	with	alain	chabat	.	so	,	of	course	,	she	does	the	obvious	from	that	:	she	decides	to	keep	them	both	.	she'll	be	(	and	sleep	)	with	each	of	them	for	3	days	each	,	then	on	sunday	,	she'll	rest	by	herself	.	after	all	,	she	needs	it	if	she's	gonna	have	more	sex	than	sylvia	kristel	.	the	film	goes	on	for	over	an	hour	and	a	half	,	through	stupidity	after	stupidity	,	moronic	twist	after	moronic	twist	,	and	soon	there's	the	little	ironic	(	!	!	!	)	ending	.	i	know	it's	a	completely	different	culture	,	and	i'm	quite	familiar	with	the	french	and	their	cinema	,	but	this	is	just	bad	.	none	of	the	characters	are	more	intelligent	than	peter	stormare	in	"	fargo	"	(	a	movie	where	stupid	characters	were	backed	up	to	make	a	point	)	,	and	any	action	they	do	is	pretty	much	just	to	get	a	hopeful	chuckle	from	the	audience	.	what's	shocking	is	this	was	not	only	one	of	france's	biggest	hits	,	but	it	was	nominated	for	a	lot	of	cesars	(	french	equivalent	of	oscars	)	.	the	writing	and	directing	is	really	the	big	problem	with	it	.	josiane	balasko	does	a	good	acting	job	with	her	role	,	but	her	little	sex	comedy	isn't	very	humerous	,	entertaining	,	or	even	deep	at	all	.	even	woody	allen's	not	very	good	"	a	midsummer	night's	sex	comedy	"	is	intelligent	,	well	written	,	and	possesses	some	depth	.	this	is	shallow	,	unfunny	,	and	pretty	annoying	to	watch	.	the	film	moves	at	the	pace	of	a	snail	,	and	is	damn	near	painful	to	watch	.	thank	god	for	the	fast	forward	button	.	the	acting	,	however	,	isn't	bad	at	all	.	the	actors	do	the	best	they	can	with	the	bad	material	,	and	victoria	abril	is	pretty	likable	despite	the	script	(	and	the	fact	that	she's	stupid	enough	to	try	to	divide	herself	over	two	people	when	she	has	kids	)	.	and	alain	chabat	has	some	funny	moments	as	the	neurotic	husband	.	but	"	french	twist	"	is	just	pretty	lame	.	it's	not	overly	horrible	,	and	has	a	couple	very	,	very	,	very	brief	moments	.	but	it's	just	a	really	crap	film	,	and	an	example	of	an	ill	advised	distribution	of	a	foreign	film	.
neg	cast	:	michael	j	.	fox	,	gabrielle	anwar	,	anthony	higgins	,	michael	tucker	,	dan	hedaya	,	bob	balaban	(	who	never	appeared	.	.	.	)	director	:	barry	sonnenfield	screenplay	:	mark	rosenthal	,	lawrence	konner	score	:	bruce	broughton	release	:	october	1	,	1993	i	don't	like	movies	that	start	off	bad	and	end	up	that	way	,	too	.	i	don't	like	movies	that	present	an	audience	with	absolutely	no	redeeming	values	(	nothing	to	laugh	at	,	or	cry	about	,	or	feel	excited	about	)	.	i	don't	like	movies	that	front	as	something	that	they're	not	.	i	don't	like	movies	like	this	one	.	michael	j	.	fox	stars	as	douglas	ireland	,	concierge	at	a	ritzy	hotel	in	new	york	.	he	doesn't	take	his	work	lightly	the	man	makes	people	feel	useful	,	saves	marriages	,	takes	dogs	for	a	walk	,	gives	you	tickets	to	any	broadway	show	you	want	.	and	doug	has	a	dream	of	creating	his	very	own	hotel	,	called	the	doug	,	or	the	river	house	.	he	just	needs	to	make	a	big	time	money	man	very	happy	in	the	mean	time	,	so	that	he	can	close	a	deal	.	to	do	this	,	he	must	take	good	care	of	the	man's	younger	mistress	(	played	by	gabrielle	anwar	)	.	the	woman	is	beautiful	,	and	doug	has	been	after	her	for	some	time	now	,	so	he	gladly	accepts	the	job	and	does	whatever	it	takes	to	make	his	dream	a	reality	.	well	,	doug	falls	in	love	with	her	(	big	surprise	,	huh	?	)	.	the	only	problem	is	,	he	can't	act	on	his	feelings	for	risk	of	crushing	his	dream	.	ah	,	what's	a	man	to	do	.	.	.	?	i	knew	what	would	happen	.	in	fact	,	i	knew	everything	about	this	movie	within	the	first	ten	minutes	it	played	.	for	love	or	money	is	an	exercise	in	just	how	predictable	and	utterly	worthless	a	comedy	or	movie	,	in	general	can	be	.	it	isn't	funny	,	or	romantic	,	or	engaging	,	or	surprising	,	or	original	in	any	way	.	fox	acts	with	some	sort	of	smirk	on	his	mug	the	whole	time	,	and	basically	looks	rather	bored	throughout	the	movie	.	the	usually	strong	supporting	"	love	interest	"	that	should	have	backed	him	up	or	,	in	this	case	,	sufficed	for	him	is	played	by	an	enigmatic	young	actress	named	gabrielle	anwar	.	we	saw	her	briefly	in	scent	of	a	woman	,	doing	the	tango	with	al	pacino	,	but	got	nothing	,	no	sort	of	impression	,	from	her	little	screen	time	in	the	film	.	i	guess	for	love	or	money	came	to	her	in	the	wake	of	the	success	of	that	movie	,	she	read	over	the	screen	play	,	and	said	,	"	yeah	,	i	should	probably	do	this	so	i	can	work	some	more	and	survive	in	this	business	.	"	it's	just	too	bad	for	her	that	the	script	,	by	two	different	people	,	has	no	luster	about	it	whatsoever	.	and	what	about	michael	j	.	fox	?	what's	his	problem	?	i	know	he	can	be	funny	,	i	saw	it	in	back	to	the	future	1	,	2	,	and	3	.	i	know	he	can	be	dramatic	,	i	saw	that	in	casualties	of	war	.	but	lately	,	things	just	don't	seem	to	be	working	out	for	him	(	first	life	with	mikey	,	and	now	this	?	)	.	his	character	of	concierge	here	is	pretty	much	a	nice	guy	but	that's	it	.	he's	extremely	shallow	in	the	movie	,	and	isn't	able	to	give	his	character	the	gravity	it	so	desperately	needs	.	i	didn't	want	to	give	this	movie	a	bad	review	i	hate	doing	that	for	any	film	.	but	the	disappointing	fact	is	:	bad	movies	often	are	written	,	and	cast	,	and	filmed	.	for	love	or	money	should've	stopped	on	the	first	level	,	been	trashed	,	and	then	rewritten	until	it	could	make	us	care	about	it	.	what	we	have	here	is	an	excruciatingly	unnecessary	film	.	critical	rating	:	(	1	2	)	rated	pg	13	,	for	very	mild	profanity	running	time	:	1	:	33m
neg	chill	factor	is	a	carbon	copy	of	speed	with	one	notable	exception	:	instead	of	a	speeding	bus	,	we	now	have	an	ice	cream	truck	.	the	truck	is	driven	by	arlo	(	cuba	gooding	jr	.	)	and	mason	(	skeet	ulrich	)	,	who	have	been	instructed	by	a	dying	scientist	to	transport	a	deadly	chemical	weapon	to	a	military	base	by	the	name	of	fort	mcgruder	.	this	particular	weapon	(	nicknamed	elvis'	)	must	be	kept	below	a	temperature	of	50	degrees	,	or	else	the	shockwave	will	goo	iffy	everything	in	a	mile	radius	.	that	would	be	pretty	nasty	.	the	power	of	elvis	is	revealed	in	the	opening	scene	,	as	dr	.	richard	long	(	david	paymer	)	conducts	a	test	on	an	isolated	tropical	island	.	long	accidentally	melts	18	soldiers	and	defoliates	virtually	the	entire	island	,	due	to	an	enormously	miscalculated	safety	distance	.	the	commanding	officer	,	general	brynner	(	peter	firth	)	,	is	sentenced	to	10	years	in	prison	for	the	murder	of	his	troops	.	upon	his	release	,	the	general	is	intent	on	tracking	the	good	doctor	down	,	snatching	elvis	,	and	selling	the	weapon	to	the	highest	international	bidder	.	protecting	the	fate	of	the	world	is	a	drifting	hamburger	flipper	(	ulrich	)	and	a	feisty	ice	cream	delivery	man	(	gooding	jr	.	)	,	who	must	elude	brynner's	men	and	get	elvis	to	safety	at	fort	mcgruder	.	all	the	while	,	of	course	,	they	must	keep	the	weapon	below	50	degrees	.	this	proves	to	be	tricky	.	among	the	wild	adventures	arlo	and	mason	partake	in	is	a	trip	down	a	tree	covered	mountainside	in	a	boat	,	and	a	fist	fight	on	top	of	a	moving	vehicle	.	they	also	crack	a	few	dozen	witty	retorts	that	we	are	supposed	to	find	amusing	.	to	put	it	simply	,	i'll	use	a	clever	pun	:	chill	factor	should	be	put	on	ice	.	director	hugh	johnson	has	mixed	elements	from	speed	,	broken	arrow	and	the	lethal	weapon	series	to	create	a	lifelessly	bland	cocktail	of	a	chase	movie	.	when	there	is	some	occasional	action	,	the	audience	seems	oddly	detached	from	it	.	perhaps	that's	because	we've	already	waded	through	a	pool	of	clichs	and	boring	dialogue	;	all	material	that's	been	used	before	,	and	with	a	lot	more	spice	.	take	the	villains	,	for	example	.	they	are	typical	stereotypes	of	every	terrorist	that	has	ever	walked	the	silver	screen	.	they	speak	lines	that	have	been	recycled	profusely	from	one	movie	to	the	next	,	divulge	important	plot	details	while	holding	their	enemies	at	gunpoint	,	and	act	in	very	predictable	ways	.	the	tag	team	of	gooding	jr	.	and	ulrich	sounds	much	more	exciting	than	it	is	.	frankly	,	i'm	not	sure	i	can	accept	cuba	as	an	ice	cream	man	.	i	suppose	it's	better	than	him	dressed	like	a	giant	hot	dog	,	selling	jumbo	frankfurters	on	a	street	corner	.	gooding	displays	one	single	emotion	in	this	movie	,	which	is	frequently	on	display	in	lines	like	i'm	gonna	get	on	yo	ass	like	last	year's	underwear	!	'	and	the	incessant	sputtering	of	oh	,	sh	t	!	'	this	is	virtually	the	same	character	he	played	in	jerry	maguire	and	as	good	as	it	gets	.	but	where	gooding	was	once	an	exciting	actor	,	he	now	seems	dull	and	endlessly	monotonous	.	at	least	he's	a	bit	more	captivating	than	ulrich	,	who	has	all	the	film's	worst	dialogue	,	but	does	nothing	noticeable	to	enliven	his	character	.	the	supporting	cast	,	which	includes	every	personality	you	expect	to	pop	up	,	is	also	wasted	.	to	be	fair	,	there	are	a	few	brief	moments	of	serviceable	action	.	and	i	did	chuckle	a	few	times	.	one	example	is	when	ulrich	(	an	employee	at	darlene's	diner'	)	is	at	the	counter	when	brynner	walks	through	the	door	.	you	own	this	place	?	'	the	general	asks	.	yeah	,	'	ulrich	says	.	they	call	me	darlene	.	'	these	little	tidbits	of	humor	are	(	mainly	)	welcome	in	this	weak	,	disappointing	wreckage	of	an	action	film	.	as	a	speed	clone	,	it	could	have	benefited	from	a	lot	more	suspense	and	perhaps	(	god	forbid	)	even	some	decent	writing	.	sadly	,	i	walked	away	from	chill	factor	only	wondering	how	much	fun	it	could	have	been	.
neg	directed	by	david	cronenberg	starring	:	jude	law	,	jennifer	jason	leigh	,	don	mckellar	running	time	approximately	1hr	40minsthe	movie	starts	with	a	rather	se7en	ish	opening	sequence	,	rather	cool	and	sets	the	mood	for	things	to	come	.	the	story	propels	the	audience	into	a	neo	reality	;	somewhat	very	close	to	conscious	reality	but	laced	with	weird	tinges	of	blue	and	red	.	existenz	is	actually	the	name	of	a	new	virtual	reality	game	.	supposedly	,	vr	games	are	highly	popular	as	is	considered	a	legal	drug	in	this	neo	reality	.	(	leigh	)	is	the	ultimate	game	creator	and	introduces	her	ultimate	game	experience	in	the	form	of	existenz	.	players	are	required	to	have	bio	ports	embedded	in	their	spine	,	which	plugs	to	a	game	pod	in	order	to	enjoy	the	immersive	experience	.	during	a	secretive	beta	testing	cum	teaser	meeting	for	this	new	game	,	an	assassination	attempt	on	life	occurs	and	she	runs	off	with	fellow	bodyguard	(	law	)	.	is	more	of	a	realists	than	anything	else	,	afraid	that	he'll	lose	reality	if	he	begin	to	play	these	games	but	requires	his	help	to	immerse	together	with	her	into	existenz	to	check	if	the	program	is	still	functioning	properly	after	the	assassination	attempt	.	as	they	soon	discover	,	they	are	transported	between	realities	within	existenz	uncovering	more	than	they	initially	expected	.	existenz	has	all	the	cronenberg	gore	that	is	expected	of	him	.	even	so	,	this	film	is	no	where	near	his	cult	classics	such	as	videodrome	or	scanners	.	not	even	half	as	suspenseful	as	the	commercially	successful	the	fly	.	existenz	can	probably	be	looked	upon	as	his	90's	version	of	videodrome	,	even	so	,	it	is	a	poor	follow	up	.	while	in	most	of	his	famed	films	,	his	penchant	for	gore	always	hit	the	right	note	with	theme	of	the	film	and	plot	.	in	existenz	,	the	gory	sequences	are	no	more	attached	to	spirit	of	the	film	and	seem	to	be	an	act	of	over	indulgence	than	anything	else	.	jennifer	jason	leigh	and	jude	law	,	both	commendable	actors	,	looked	aloof	and	miss	directed	throughout	the	entire	film	.	the	scripting	and	acting	barely	pulls	the	film	out	of	the	b	grade	category	.	it	was	obvious	that	cronenberg	worked	on	a	really	tight	budget	and	it	seems	that	he	handled	that	pretty	well	in	the	production	design	and	values	created	for	this	film	(	the	opening	sequence	,	though	,	probably	formed	a	considerable	portion	of	the	budget	!	)	which	is	actually	quite	good	.	existenz	is	too	predictable	and	cliched	in	these	times	.	10	years	ago	,	it	would	have	been	another	classic	for	cronenberg	.	cronenberg	fans	however	,	(	those	people	who	enjoy	seeing	friends	getting	queasy	over	mutilation	on	film	)	should	not	give	this	film	a	miss	as	some	form	of	appreciation	can	still	be	offered	by	you	.
neg	directed	by	bob	clark	.	cast	:	dan	monahan	,	mark	herrier	,	wyatt	knight	,	roger	wilson	,	kim	cattrall	,	scott	colomby	,	kaki	hunter	,	nancy	parsons	,	alex	karras	,	susan	clark	.	1981	99	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	profanity	,	nudity	,	and	sex	)	.	reviewed	december	8	,	1998	.	well	,	here's	a	distasteful	,	thoroughly	amateurish	item	that	,	surprisingly	,	was	actually	a	box	office	hit	at	the	time	of	its	release	.	after	just	viewing	the	film	for	the	first	time	,	my	primary	question	is	how	did	anyone	with	an	iq	north	of	35	enjoy	this	movie	?	it	is	cheap	,	idiotic	,	unfunny	,	and	not	nearly	as	raunchy	as	i	had	heard	it	was	.	at	least	some	smut	would	have	livened	things	up	a	bit	.	"	porky's	,	"	tells	the	story	(	if	you	can	call	it	that	)	of	four	clueless	high	school	buddies	,	pee	wee	(	dan	monahan	)	,	billy	(	mark	herrier	)	,	tommy	(	wyatt	knight	)	,	and	mickey	(	roger	wilson	)	,	whom	desperately	want	to	get	laid	.	women	,	for	the	most	part	,	are	a	mystery	to	them	(	and	in	this	movie	,	they	are	to	the	audience	,	as	well	,	since	all	of	them	are	written	and	acted	as	if	they	are	aliens	from	a	different	planet	)	.	their	plan	is	sidetracked	,	however	,	when	they	venture	out	to	a	smarmy	strip	bar	named	porky's	,	which	they	are	able	to	get	into	using	fake	id's	.	after	they	pay	the	manager	one	hundred	bucks	for	three	hookers	,	they	are	played	a	trick	on	and	find	themselves	being	dumped	into	the	swamp	below	the	building	.	for	these	four	teenage	guys	,	this	means	war	on	porky's	.	"	porky's	,	"	ultimately	manages	to	fail	on	almost	every	possible	level	.	as	a	teenage	sex	romp	,	it	is	not	wild	or	amusing	enough	.	as	a	comedy	,	all	of	the	jokes	are	predictable	and	fall	flat	.	as	a	look	back	at	the	1950's	,	it	is	something	,	i	suspect	,	most	people	from	that	era	would	want	to	bury	deep	in	a	grave	.	and	as	a	revenge	movie	,	it	is	a	crushing	bore	.	one	of	the	most	offensive	things	about	,	"	porky's	,	"	is	how	jaw	droppingly	inaccurate	the	film	is	about	teenagers	.	the	four	main	characters	are	not	even	attempted	to	be	developed	as	characters	,	and	we	learn	very	little	about	them	,	except	that	they	are	horny	and	would	probably	feel	more	comfortable	in	a	preschool	.	that	sure	is	revealing	information	.	the	female	characters	fare	even	worse	under	the	inaudacious	screenplay	and	direction	by	bob	clark	.	the	women	are	all	treated	as	objects	or	comedy	props	,	rather	than	real	people	.	for	example	,	the	two	gym	teachers	,	mrs	.	balbricker	(	nancy	parsons	)	and	honeywell	(	kim	cattrall	)	,	only	have	one	purpose	,	and	that	is	to	be	made	fun	of	.	mrs	.	balbricker	is	a	gruff	,	no	holds	barred	,	overwight	woman	who	will	not	stand	for	any	foolishness	,	and	,	in	one	particularly	embarrassing	scene	for	all	involved	,	honeywell	has	sex	with	a	coach	and	barks	like	a	dog	.	there	is	no	way	to	tell	if	parsons	or	cattrall	are	servicable	actresses	(	even	though	i	have	the	suspicion	they	are	not	)	,	but	one	thing	is	for	sure	:	they	are	asked	to	do	things	in	this	film	that	are	not	at	all	funny	,	only	humiliating	.	to	prove	how	out	of	touch	this	so	called	comedy	is	,	compare	it	to	other	more	serious	80's	films	about	teenagers	,	and	it	looks	even	worse	in	comaprison	.	any	of	the	john	hughes	pictures	,	such	as	1984's	"	sixteen	candles	,	"	or	,	1985's	"	the	breakfast	club	,	"	put	,	"	porky's	,	"	at	an	even	greater	shame	.	those	films	actually	dealt	with	serious	teen	matters	,	but	remained	a	great	deal	funnier	,	thanks	to	their	bright	and	truthful	writing	.	and	heck	,	if	,	"	porky's	,	"	wanted	to	be	a	teenage	sex	movie	,	i'd	take	1982's	"	fast	times	at	ridgemont	high	,	"	or	1982's	"	the	last	american	virgin	,	"	over	this	any	day	of	the	week	.	director	bob	clark	is	not	a	bad	director	.	two	years	after	he	made	,	"	porky's	,	"	he	directed	the	nostalgic	holiday	classic	,	"	a	christmas	story	.	"	i	would	forgive	him	for	this	misfire	,	in	fact	,	if	it	wasn't	for	the	fact	that	he	also	wrote	the	screenplay	.	just	the	thought	that	someone	would	actually	sit	down	to	write	such	a	piece	of	garbage	,	and	think	that	it	was	actually	a	film	worth	releasing	unto	the	unsuspecting	world	,	is	actually	a	whole	lot	funnier	than	anything	in	,	"	porky's	.	"	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	cast	:	alex	d	.	linz	,	olek	krupa	,	david	thornton	,	lenny	von	dohlen	,	rya	kihlstedt	,	haviland	morris	,	marian	seldes	,	scarlett	johansson	,	seth	smith	,	kevin	kilner	director	:	raja	gosnell	producers	:	john	hughes	and	hilton	green	screenplay	:	john	hughes	cinematography	:	julio	macat	music	:	nick	glennie	smith	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	twentieth	century	fox	talk	about	beating	a	dead	horse	!	when	home	alone	was	released	in	1990	,	it	was	a	breath	of	fresh	air	,	and	the	final	box	office	tally	indicated	how	much	audiences	appreciated	a	genuinely	funny	family	film	.	the	unexpectedly	high	gross	guaranteed	a	sequel	,	so	,	two	years	later	,	we	were	subjected	to	home	alone	2	,	which	might	as	well	have	been	called	clone	alone	for	all	of	the	originality	it	exhibited	.	for	john	hughes	,	two	home	alone	movies	weren't	enough	he	began	recycling	the	same	kinds	of	villains	and	situations	in	almost	every	movie	he	was	involved	with	,	including	a	pathetic	box	office	bomb	called	baby's	day	out	,	last	year's	live	action	101	dalmatians	,	and	this	year's	flubber	.	now	,	inexplicably	,	hughes	has	exhumed	not	only	these	worn	out	plot	elements	,	but	the	"	home	alone	"	name	as	well	.	the	result	1997's	worst	sequel	(	edging	out	speed	2	and	batman	and	robin	)	,	home	alone	3	.	by	changing	the	characters	,	hughes	(	who	wrote	and	co	produced	the	film	)	,	along	with	his	co	conspirator	,	director	raja	gosnell	,	has	attempted	to	inject	new	life	into	a	series	that	is	way	past	the	point	of	cardiac	arrest	.	the	new	kid	,	alex	pruitt	,	is	played	by	alex	d	.	linz	(	one	fine	day	)	,	and	the	only	thing	he	has	going	for	him	is	terminal	cuteness	.	he's	not	half	as	interesting	as	macaulay	culkin	once	was	.	the	villains	,	pale	copies	of	joe	pesci	and	daniel	stern	,	are	even	less	engaging	than	the	pair	of	idiots	in	flubber	.	in	home	alone	3	,	there	are	four	of	them	(	olek	krupa	,	david	thornton	,	lenny	von	dohlen	,	and	rya	kihlstedt	)	,	but	all	that	means	is	an	opportunity	for	twice	as	many	pratfalls	.	this	time	,	the	kid	isn't	left	home	alone	because	his	parents	have	gone	on	a	trip	.	instead	,	he	has	developed	a	bad	case	of	chicken	pox	,	so	he	can't	go	to	school	.	his	dad	(	kevin	kilner	)	is	away	on	business	and	his	mom	(	haviland	morris	)	has	to	run	errands	,	so	,	for	the	most	part	,	he's	all	by	himself	during	the	day	.	through	a	series	of	coincidences	too	irritating	to	relate	,	a	top	secret	u	.	s	.	air	force	integrated	circuit	comes	into	his	possession	.	it's	wanted	by	a	gang	of	four	international	crooks	who	intend	to	break	into	alex's	home	to	retrieve	it	.	the	eight	year	old	,	who	is	wise	beyond	his	years	,	booby	traps	the	house	with	all	sorts	of	rube	goldberg	type	devices	designed	to	humiliate	and	incapacitate	the	villains	.	the	movie's	climax	takes	place	during	a	raging	snowstorm	only	none	of	the	falling	flakes	looks	remotely	believable	.	previously	,	the	most	counterfeit	looking	snow	effects	i	can	remember	were	in	star	trek	iii	.	these	are	far	worse	.	in	fact	,	the	production	values	are	so	shoddy	that	there	are	some	scenes	in	the	midst	of	this	near	blizzard	when	a	shining	sun	can	be	seen	.	if	it's	a	wonderful	life	could	generate	real	looking	snow	back	in	the	1940s	,	why	can't	home	alone	3	,	which	has	a	significantly	larger	budget	and	'90s	technology	at	its	disposal	?	there	has	been	an	ongoing	debate	regarding	the	appropriateness	of	live	action	cartoon	violence	for	young	children	.	home	alone	3	will	add	fuel	to	the	fire	.	it's	one	thing	to	see	wyle	e	.	coyote	flattened	by	a	10	ton	acme	weight	,	but	quite	another	to	watch	a	running	lawn	mower	fall	on	lenny	von	dohlen	.	adults	and	even	older	children	will	recognize	that	this	is	obviously	fake	and	intended	to	be	humorous	,	but	what	about	five	and	six	year	olds	?	the	level	of	violence	in	home	alone	3	is	extreme	many	of	alex's	schemes	are	nasty	enough	to	kill	.	but	,	because	this	is	a	"	family	film	,	"	no	one	dies	,	despite	being	electrocuted	,	falling	thirty	feet	,	and	getting	smacked	on	the	head	by	a	barbell	.	not	only	is	home	alone	3	unnecessary	,	but	it's	offensive	.	it's	an	exercise	in	tediousness	,	and	there	isn't	a	genuine	laugh	to	be	found	from	the	beginning	to	the	end	(	unless	,	by	some	strange	quirk	of	fate	,	you	have	missed	every	1990s	movie	associated	with	john	hughes	,	and	thus	haven't	seen	this	stuff	before	)	.	i	can't	imagine	anyone	with	a	reasonable	attention	span	being	more	than	momentarily	distracted	by	this	pointless	adventure	.	maybe	that's	why	the	only	ones	laughing	at	the	screening	i	attended	were	still	in	their	thumb	sucking	years	.
neg	just	when	you	thought	it	was	safe	to	venture	back	into	the	bayou	,	along	comes	the	return	of	swamp	thing	,	part	monster	movie	,	part	parody	,	wholly	(	if	not	intentionally	)	awful	.	not	since	king	kong	and	godzilla	first	slugged	it	out	atop	mount	fuji	has	there	been	a	more	laughable	or	more	ludicrous	man	in	a	monster	suit	movie	.	the	first	film	of	the	summer	season	to	be	based	on	a	character	from	a	d	.	c	.	comic	,	the	return	of	swamp	thing	plays	it	strictly	for	laughs	.	in	wes	craven's	original	1983	horror	flick	,	swamp	thing	was	portrayed	as	a	sad	,	tormented	creature	,	the	hideous	result	of	research	gone	awry	.	in	this	,	its	purported	sequel	,	swamp	thing	has	been	transformed	into	a	superhero	,	ridding	the	swamp	of	botched	genetic	experiments	and	rushing	to	the	aid	of	damsels	in	distress	.	one	such	damsel	is	the	exquisitely	untalented	heather	locklear	.	locklear	,	who	should	stick	to	making	health	spa	ads	,	is	cast	as	abby	arcane	,	stepdaughter	of	scientist	gone	mad	anton	arcane	(	played	once	again	by	louis	jourdan	in	the	scenery	chewing	role	of	the	century	)	.	abby	visits	her	creepy	stepfather	in	his	heavily	guarded	louisiana	mansion	in	order	to	discover	what	really	happened	to	her	mother	all	those	many	moons	ago	.	arcane	isn't	telling	,	but	somehow	you	get	the	feeling	that	she	didn't	pass	away	under	normal	circumstances	!	realizing	that	abby's	rare	blood	type	holds	the	key	to	his	fountain	of	youth	elixir	,	arcane	and	his	beautiful	henchwoman	dr	.	lana	zurrell	(	played	with	campy	panache	by	sarah	douglas	)	immediately	have	diabolical	designs	on	the	ditzy	blonde	,	family	ties	or	no	family	ties	.	from	the	opening	scene	,	we	learn	that	abby	has	a	very	special	relationship	with	plants	.	not	only	does	she	call	her	succulents	down	to	earth	names	like	"	jimmy	"	and	"	mary	,	"	but	she	holds	entire	,	one	sided	conversations	with	them	.	this	is	,	i	guess	,	just	so	we	know	that	,	come	the	time	when	she	and	swamp	thing	inevitably	meet	,	she's	going	to	be	able	to	relate	to	him	,	woman	to	vegetable	.	sure	enough	,	this	encounter	takes	place	when	swamp	thing	rescues	abby	from	a	pair	of	lecherous	moonshiners	.	barely	batting	a	false	eyelash	at	this	living	lump	of	lichen	,	abby	immediately	senses	the	"	soul	of	a	wonderful	human	being	"	beneath	that	mossy	exterior	.	extraordinary	as	it	might	seem	,	it's	love	at	first	sight	.	to	pad	out	its	ninety	minute	length	,	the	film	introduces	a	stereotypically	pudgy	,	twinkie	eating	white	kid	and	his	precocious	black	pal	,	who	are	in	the	movie	to	try	and	photograph	the	fibroid	avenger	for	commercial	gain	.	in	actual	fact	,	they're	in	the	film	to	be	laughed	at	,	even	though	they	do	get	to	say	some	real	neat	lines	like	"	swamp	thing's	kicking	some	butt	!	"	they	also	get	to	give	the	leafy	fellow	complimentary	thumbs	up	from	time	to	time	,	just	so	we	know	who	the	good	guy	is	.	everybody	in	the	film	overacts	like	crazy	,	and	these	two	obnoxious	youngsters	are	no	exception	.	it's	hard	to	dislike	a	film	as	good	natured	as	this	one	is	,	especially	in	an	industry	rife	with	gratuitous	sex	and	violence	.	sure	,	the	film	does	have	its	explosive	moments	(	courtesy	the	five	and	dime	"	special	"	effects	)	,	but	ne'er	a	drop	of	blood	is	spilled	throughout	.	and	there	are	ample	opportunities	for	nudity	locklear	and	douglas	weren't	employed	solely	for	their	acting	abilities	but	none	ensue	.	abby	and	her	new	found	beau	do	get	to	express	their	love	for	each	other	,	but	it's	tastefully	done	,	if	in	a	slightly	silly	manner	(	as	is	everything	else	in	the	film	)	.	from	the	very	beginning	you	realize	that	this	is	not	a	film	to	be	taken	seriously	.	though	harmless	enough	,	it	does	tend	to	be	rather	smug	and	a	little	too	cute	for	its	own	good	,	and	you	end	up	laughing	at	the	film	rather	than	with	it	.	if	it	weren't	so	badly	acted	,	so	deliberately	self	mocking	all	around	,	then	it	might	have	made	for	better	entertainment	.	as	it	is	,	the	return	of	swamp	thing	remains	strictly	for	the	grade	z	crowd	.	the	only	thought	that	appears	to	have	gone	into	the	making	of	this	movie	is	that	the	producers	decided	not	to	call	it	swamp	thing	2	.	hr	directed	by	:	jim	wynorski	david	n	.	butterworth	university	of	pa	rating	(	l	.	maltin	)	:	1	2	internet	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	"	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	a	hr
neg	the	word	to	describe	sharon	stone	is	"	wonder	"	.	not	that	she	_	is	_	a	wonder	,	but	rather	that	i	wonder	how	she	can	be	so	inconsistent	.	she	has	a	dynamic	screen	presence	in	"	basic	instinct	"	,	turns	in	a	surprisingly	fine	acting	job	in	"	casino	"	,	but	possesses	neither	of	those	here	.	stone	teams	up	with	private	school	headmaster's	wife	isabelle	adjani	to	kill	adjani's	thoroughly	unlikable	husband	(	chazz	palminteri	)	.	in	a	comedy	of	errors	and	unexpected	twists	straight	out	of	hitchcock	(	as	in	homage	to'	read	"	steal	from	"	)	,	it	turns	out	that	someone	saw	them	or	he's	not	dead	or	maybe	.	.	.	kathy	bates	turns	in	a	credible	,	if	unspectacular	,	performance	as	an	investigative	police	detective	.	her	character	is	a	bit	dull	but	realistic	,	although	her	actions	at	the	end	are	puzzling	.	adjani	is	more	than	satisfactory	as	the	timid	beaten	spouse	driven	to	desperation	.	it's	stone	that	is	a	disappointment	among	the	actors	.	how	can	she	be	the	epitome	of	a	femme	fatale	in	previous	films	and	come	off	as	a	blank	in	this	one	?	costumed	in	skin	tight	clothes	and	looking	down	her	nose	at	everyone	,	she	is	someone	you	would	want	to	avoid	because	she	is	boring	,	not	enticingly	dangerous	.	even	the	threat	(	or	promise	?	)	of	a	lesbian	relationship	between	the	conspirators	is	only	half	played	out	.	on	the	positive	side	,	there	are	enough	unexpected	plot	developments	to	keep	your	interest	alive	.	that	is	if	you	can	put	up	with	stone's	cardboard	cut	out	character	and	scenes	directly	lifted	from	hitch's	movies	.	this	appeared	in	the	3	28	96	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
neg	whenever	u	.	s	.	government	starts	meddling	into	other	countries'	affairs	,	under	the	pretext	of	supporting	human	rights	or	preventing	political	,	religious	or	ethnic	persecution	,	the	other	side	is	ready	to	use	mantra	that	says	"	look	who's	talking	!	what	have	you	done	to	the	indians	?	"	however	,	even	the	americans	themselves	are	ready	to	use	that	dark	chapter	of	their	own	national	history	when	it	suits	their	purposes	.	hollywood	is	just	another	example	,	with	its	revisionist	westerns	,	made	in	early	1990s	.	those	movies	tried	to	exploit	the	emerging	wave	of	political	correctness	,	coinciding	with	the	500th	anniversary	of	columbus'	discovery	of	america	.	one	of	such	examples	is	geronimo	:	an	american	legend	,	1993	western	directed	by	walter	hill	,	film	that	deals	with	one	of	the	last	conflicts	between	american	natives	and	white	settlers	.	the	hero	of	the	film	is	geronimo	(	played	by	wes	studi	)	,	leader	of	apaches	,	fierce	warrior	tribe	that	used	to	give	hard	time	to	white	settlers	during	the	second	half	of	19th	century	.	when	the	movie	begins	,	in	1885	,	geronimo	and	his	apaches	made	peace	with	u	.	s	.	government	and	try	to	live	peacefully	in	arizona	reservation	.	however	,	broken	promises	,	injustice	and	violence	against	his	people	would	make	geronimo	restless	.	with	not	more	30	or	so	of	his	followers	,	he	escapes	reservation	and	begins	guerrilla	campaign	.	general	crook	(	gene	hackman	)	,	commander	of	u	.	s	.	army	forces	,	respects	geronimo	and	knows	that	even	his	5	,	000	force	isn't	enough	to	catch	geronimo	in	the	great	spaces	of	the	american	southwest	.	instead	,	he	turns	to	people	who	are	more	experienced	with	apaches	lt	.	charles	gatewood	(	jason	patric	)	and	indian	hunter	al	sieber	(	robert	duvall	)	.	together	with	young	lt	.	britton	davis	(	matt	damon	)	they	would	begin	mission	aimed	at	capturing	geronimo	.	geronimo	:	an	american	legend	,	like	many	movies	made	under	the	shadow	of	political	correctness	,	try	to	tell	the	tale	about	oppressed	minorities	,	but	instead	the	real	subject	is	the	bad	conscience	of	the	oppressors	.	so	,	the	story	about	geronimo	is	told	from	the	perspective	of	his	enemies	.	almost	all	of	them	happen	to	be	his	greatest	admirers	and	use	every	opportunity	to	express	how	sorry	they	feel	for	having	to	fight	him	and	his	people	.	although	such	elements	of	john	millius'	screenplay	do	indeed	have	some	basis	in	history	,	they	harm	the	story	of	geronimo	.	to	be	honest	,	walter	hill	does	try	to	make	geronimo	the	real	hero	of	the	film	,	but	the	movie	segments	that	deal	with	the	plight	of	apaches	and	the	uprising	are	given	too	little	time	.	instead	,	they	turn	out	to	be	nothing	more	than	the	back	story	for	rather	uninteresting	adventure	story	of	gatewood	and	his	band	.	to	make	even	worse	,	hill	has	some	real	problems	with	pacing	and	style	,	and	in	the	end	we	have	impression	that	we	are	watching	two	films	badly	edited	into	one	story	about	geronimo	and	story	about	his	pursuers	.	the	movie	should	have	been	better	if	it	turned	to	geronimo's	life	before	and	after	his	last	uprising	,	in	many	ways	more	interesting	than	the	story	about	gatewood	.	the	difference	between	those	segments	could	be	observed	through	the	different	quality	of	acting	.	wes	studi	,	cherokee	actor	who	was	so	impressive	as	magua	in	the	last	of	the	mohicans	,	was	perfect	choice	for	geronimo	,	not	only	because	he	resembles	geronimo	,	but	because	he	induces	a	lot	of	passion	in	his	role	.	contrary	to	him	,	we	have	disinterested	actors	who	sleepwalk	through	the	roles	of	his	white	enemies	.	while	this	could	be	expected	from	someone	like	jason	patric	,	it	is	shame	when	we	have	veterans	like	gene	hackman	or	robert	duvall	.	even	hill's	directing	is	bellow	expectations	battle	scenes	are	too	short	and	,	like	in	many	of	his	late	films	,	force	viewers	to	ask	what	had	happened	to	the	great	action	director	of	1970s	.	even	his	old	associate	,	music	composer	ry	cooder	,	disappoints	,	with	the	score	that	shifts	between	indian	motives	and	classic	.	on	the	other	hand	,	photography	by	lloyd	ahern	ii	,	with	the	use	of	red	lenses	,	gives	somewhat	dreamy	atmosphere	,	ideal	for	this	movie	that	was	supposed	to	be	melancholic	epic	.	all	in	all	,	compared	with	some	of	the	hollywood's	examples	of	political	correctness	,	this	film	isn't	so	bad	,	but	we	are	left	with	the	unpleasant	impression	that	it	could	have	been	better	.
neg	dream	with	the	fishes	(	sony	pictures	classics	1997	)	starring	david	arquette	,	brad	hunt	,	kathryn	erbe	,	cathy	moriarty	screenplay	by	finn	taylor	produced	by	johnny	wow	,	mitchell	stein	directed	by	finn	taylor	running	time	:	97	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	it's	rather	easy	to	start	tuning	out	after	about	twenty	minutes	of	finn	taylor's	first	feature	film	,	dream	with	the	fishes	,	when	the	plodding	,	tedious	opening	sequence	finally	pays	off	with	a	potentially	provocative	setup	.	any	hopeful	expectations	,	however	,	are	soon	vanquished	as	the	film	settles	upon	being	an	uninvolving	mismatched	buddy	movie	which	is	rarely	as	funny	as	it	aspires	to	be	nor	nearly	as	affecting	as	it	eventually	strives	to	be	in	the	film's	latter	half	.	the	film's	central	characters	are	terry	(	david	arquette	)	,	a	depressed	,	lonely	voyeur	who	claims	to	be	despondent	since	the	death	of	his	wife	in	an	automobile	accident	,	and	nick	(	brad	hunt	)	,	a	carefree	young	street	tough	later	revealed	to	be	terminally	ill	.	nick	lives	in	the	apartment	building	across	from	terry	,	who	spies	on	the	trysts	between	nick	and	girlfriend	liz	(	kathryn	erbe	)	with	his	trusty	set	of	binoculars	,	but	the	two	young	men	first	formally	meet	at	the	bay	bridge	where	a	half	drunk	terry	precariously	teeters	upon	the	edge	,	unconvincingly	vowing	suicide	.	nick	casually	asks	for	terry's	wristwatch	,	and	eventually	cons	terry	into	a	trade	the	watch	for	a	bottle	of	pills	.	of	course	,	terry	finds	that	the	pills	do	not	end	up	having	the	presumed	lethal	effects	,	and	he	angrily	sets	out	to	find	nick	in	order	to	retrieve	his	watch	.	learning	of	nick's	condition	(	he	only	has	a	handful	of	weeks	left	)	,	terry's	compassion	kicks	in	,	and	the	two	eventually	come	to	a	distinctly	peculiar	arrangement	terry	will	agree	to	bankroll	the	dying	nick's	lifelong	fantasies	,	and	nick	will	fulfill	terry's	death	wish	by	killing	him	.	this	is	a	promising	premise	,	and	mr	.	taylor's	film	could	have	gone	any	number	of	ambitious	ways	from	this	point	,	but	he	instead	chooses	to	capitalise	upon	the	obvious	inversion	of	the	characters	(	terry	is	a	repessed	,	mournful	character	who	wants	to	die	,	while	nick	is	a	free	spirit	with	a	joie	de	vivre	who	is	dying	but	wants	to	live	)	and	takes	the	easy	route	out	by	turning	dream	with	the	fishes	into	a	typical	lark	where	the	two	characters	engage	in	a	series	of	generally	dull	exploits	,	and	where	the	straight	laced	character	learns	to	enjoy	and	ppreciate	life	when	hooked	up	with	a	quirky	character	.	this	is	by	the	numbers	plotting	,	buddy	movie	road	movie	redux	.	however	,	dream	with	the	fishes	is	most	hampered	not	by	its	uninspired	storyline	,	but	by	the	characters	which	carry	the	story	it	helps	in	such	a	film	to	have	at	least	one	of	the	protagonists	be	at	least	somewhat	empathetic	,	if	not	likeable	.	unfortunately	,	that	is	not	the	case	here	,	where	both	of	the	film's	leading	characters	are	thorougly	uninteresting	and	annoying	,	giving	the	audience	very	little	to	sympathise	with	their	respective	plights	,	and	even	less	reason	to	want	to	follow	their	onscreen	exploits	.	far	from	a	romp	,	this	fatal	flaw	makes	dream	with	fishes	more	like	a	chore	to	endure	than	a	playful	jaunt	,	and	undermines	the	attempts	at	emotional	resonance	in	the	latter	stages	of	the	film	as	the	two	men	begin	to	bond	.	mr	.	taylor's	dialogue	sporadically	falls	flat	in	dream	with	the	fishes	while	attempting	to	capture	a	quirky	and	clever	tone	,	it	too	often	comes	across	instead	as	hopelessly	contrived	(	witness	such	lines	as	"	you	should	have	asked	something	more	interesting	,	like	'do	you	enjoy	the	pain	?	'	see	,	that's	provocative	,	leaves	room	for	further	questions	.	"	)	the	film	enjoys	a	few	inspired	moments	the	urn	scene	,	a	session	of	nude	bowling	,	the	policeman	joining	in	on	terry	and	nick's	acid	trip	but	unfortunatetely	these	instances	are	few	and	far	between	,	and	for	the	most	part	the	humour	in	dream	with	the	fishes	registers	more	as	attempts	rather	than	actual	successes	.	this	occurs	particularly	often	during	the	film's	opening	sequence	as	terry	is	wrestling	the	bedridden	nick	for	his	watch	in	the	hospital	,	i'm	realising	that	this	is	intended	to	be	funny	,	although	nary	a	smile	crept	upon	my	lips	which	is	probably	due	to	the	obvious	fact	that	it's	painfully	clear	to	the	audience	from	the	outset	that	terry	is	going	to	be	thwarted	in	his	initial	suicide	attempts	,	sapping	any	element	of	surprise	or	amusement	from	nick's	scheme	of	tricking	him	;	this	is	not	a	film	which	has	the	wherewithal	to	kill	off	its	leading	star	in	the	opening	ten	minutes	.	the	entire	sequence	is	,	then	,	clearly	an	exercise	for	character	exposition	,	with	attempts	at	humour	terribly	diminished	by	utter	predictability	.	among	the	cast	,	coming	off	best	is	david	arquette	,	the	current	master	in	the	portrayal	of	meek	,	squirming	,	stammering	fresh	faced	characters	he	would	have	been	terrific	as	the	lead	for	george	huang's	swimming	with	sharks	who	gets	to	apply	his	adeptness	for	timidity	as	terry	.	mr	.	taylor	ambitiously	employs	an	interesting	visual	technique	,	where	the	portions	of	the	film	set	in	an	urban	environment	have	been	processed	to	appear	extremely	grainy	and	heavily	saturated	,	as	opposed	to	a	bright	,	crisp	look	for	the	smalltown	scenes	.	the	charge	of	dream	with	the	fishes's	protagonists	being	wholly	unempathetic	is	a	bit	of	an	odd	one	coming	from	me	;	i	seem	to	have	a	predilection	for	films	with	unlikeable	characters	,	and	indeed	,	in	many	cases	have	i	been	in	the	minority	,	supporting	films	which	have	been	condemned	as	interminable	due	to	the	difficult	,	audience	unfriendly	nature	of	their	characters	.	for	dream	with	the	fishes	,	though	,	i	did	find	myself	on	the	flip	side	of	coin	,	often	hoping	that	the	film	would	quickly	conclude	,	and	that	the	nick	character	would	just	hurry	up	and	die	.
neg	director	:	che	kirk	wong	screenplay	:	ben	ramsey	stars	:	mark	wahlberg	(	melvin	smiley	)	,	lou	diamond	phillips	(	cisco	)	,	christina	applegate	(	pam	schulman	)	,	avery	brooks	(	paris	)	,	bokeem	woodbine	(	crunch	)	,	lela	rochon	(	chantel	)	,	china	chow	(	keiko	nishi	)	,	sab	shimono	(	jiro	nishi	)	,	robin	dunne	(	gump	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	there	are	scenes	in	"	the	big	hit	"	that	are	so	awful	,	they	simply	defy	description	.	the	movie	is	infected	with	the	same	kind	of	blunderheaded	idiocy	and	misplaced	confidence	that	made	"	last	action	hero	"	(	1993	)	such	a	chore	to	sit	through	.	presumably	,	"	the	big	hit	"	is	an	action	comedy	,	a	difficult	but	not	impossible	genre	to	pull	off	.	movies	of	this	sort	require	a	fine	balance	and	careful	tone	,	and	the	comedy	is	usually	meant	to	work	as	catharsis	for	the	violence	.	"	lethal	weapon	2	"	(	1989	)	is	a	perfect	example	of	an	action	thriller	that	was	also	very	,	very	funny	.	unfortunately	,	in	"	the	big	hit	,	"	it	seems	that	comedy	is	the	main	motive	,	and	the	violence	is	only	intended	to	punctuate	the	laughs	.	unfortunately	,	there	are	no	laughs	.	the	movie	resembles	some	of	the	goofy	,	throwaway	ridiculousness	of	early	jackie	chan	films	,	but	it	doesn't	benefit	from	chan's	incredible	stunts	and	goofy	,	charismatic	presence	.	instead	,	we	are	left	with	a	lot	of	digital	effects	and	mark	wahlberg	,	who	must	have	considered	himself	invincible	after	his	critically	acclaimed	performance	in	last	year's	"	boogie	nights	.	"	however	,	if	he	wants	to	maintain	a	decent	career	,	he	had	better	start	selecting	his	projects	more	carefully	movies	like	this	are	a	sure	fire	recipe	for	a	long	career	in	the	straight	to	video	market	.	wahlberg	plays	melvin	smiley	,	an	amiable	guy	who	also	happens	to	be	a	professional	hitman	(	see	"	grosse	pointe	blank	"	for	the	same	character	,	much	better	developed	)	.	the	movie	wants	us	to	think	,	"	gee	how	clever	and	ironic	a	guy	who	can	kill	without	any	moral	implications	,	and	yet	he	can't	stand	for	anyone	not	to	like	him	.	"	the	fact	is	,	melvin	is	so	desperate	to	keep	people	from	not	liking	him	,	that	he	puts	up	with	both	an	obnoxious	fiancee	(	christina	applegate	,	with	a	horrendous	new	york	accent	)	and	an	abusive	girlfriend	(	lela	rochon	)	who	is	only	using	him	for	his	money	.	his	constant	bending	over	backwards	to	please	people	makes	him	a	complete	patsy	at	best	,	and	a	thoroughly	unbelievable	character	at	worst	.	melvin	is	employed	exclusively	by	a	crime	boss	named	paris	(	avery	brooks	)	as	part	of	a	team	of	hitmen	,	which	also	includes	cisco	(	lou	diamond	phillips	)	and	crunch	(	bokeem	woodbine	)	.	one	day	,	melvin	agrees	to	do	some	moonlighting	with	cisco	by	kidnapping	the	teenage	daughter	of	a	rich	japanese	mogul	named	jiro	nishi	(	sab	shimono	)	for	a	million	dollar	ransom	.	however	,	not	only	has	jiro	nishi	lost	all	his	money	producing	a	big	hollywood	movie	(	inside	joke	,	get	it	?	)	,	but	his	kidnapped	daughter	,	keiko	(	china	chow	)	,	also	happens	to	be	paris'	goddaughter	.	so	,	when	paris	finds	out	she's	been	kidnapped	,	he	takes	it	personally	and	becomes	determined	to	find	out	who	did	it	.	not	knowing	the	cisco	is	actually	behind	the	whole	scheme	,	paris	puts	him	in	charge	of	rooting	out	the	kidnapper	.	of	course	cisco	blames	the	whole	thing	on	poor	,	innocent	melvin	.	along	the	way	,	there	are	several	obligatory	gunfights	,	explosions	,	and	car	chases	,	plus	a	literal	cliffhanger	inspired	by	"	jurassic	park	,	"	and	a	completely	unconvincing	romance	between	melvin	and	keiko	(	who	looks	like	she's	barely	pushing	fifteen	)	.	what	the	movie	passes	off	as	humor	resorts	to	thoroughly	unfunny	jokes	about	overweight	jewish	mothers	,	hara	kiri	,	drinking	problems	,	leaking	body	bags	,	and	a	running	gag	about	how	crunch	has	recently	discovered	the	pleasures	of	masturbation	,	and	now	spends	all	his	time	doing	hand	exercises	.	not	to	mention	the	pimply	video	store	clerk	who	is	always	calling	melvin	and	screeching	about	how	he	needs	to	return	his	copy	of	"	king	kong	lives	,	"	which	is	two	weeks	overdue	.	this	mess	of	a	movie	was	helmed	by	che	kirk	wong	,	the	latest	hong	kong	director	imported	by	john	woo	(	"	face	off	"	)	,	who	also	served	as	executive	producer	.	woo	needs	to	stop	acting	as	a	conduit	for	other	directors	,	and	start	making	more	of	his	own	films	.	wong	,	who	directed	such	films	as	"	rock'n'roll	cop	"	back	in	hong	kong	,	is	completely	tone	deaf	when	it	comes	to	comedy	.	maybe	jokes	about	vexatious	video	clerks	and	vomiting	on	other	people	are	funny	across	the	ocean	,	but	they're	not	here	,	at	least	in	the	manner	wong	handles	them	.	many	of	the	problems	can	be	traced	back	to	the	script	,	which	was	penned	by	obvious	freshman	writer	ben	ramsey	.	in	addition	to	his	vague	characterizations	and	uninspired	action	sequences	,	ramsey's	script	assaults	the	audience	with	his	attempts	to	copy	the	vulgar	,	poetic	rhythms	of	tarantino	or	mamet	style	dialogue	.	what	he	comes	out	with	is	just	a	lot	of	annoying	blather	,	most	of	which	spews	from	the	lips	of	lou	diamond	phillips	(	whose	favorite	phrase	is	"	it's	all	love	"	)	and	robin	dunne	,	who	plays	cisco's	stuttering	,	black	wannabe	assistant	.	the	irritation	factor	of	phillips	and	dunne	combined	is	almost	off	the	scale	,	which	can	pretty	much	describe	the	film	as	a	whole	.
neg	edward	burns	tackles	his	third	picture	with	no	looking	back	,	and	like	his	previous	two	,	it	is	a	working	class	relationship	picture	.	however	,	unlike	his	previous	work	,	the	film	dwells	on	a	more	personal	story	,	and	with	a	female	protagonist	.	and	in	no	looking	back	,	he	stumbles	,	making	a	slow	,	boring	film	without	the	spark	that	enlivened	his	previous	work	.	claudia	(	lauren	holly	)	is	a	small	town	waitress	who	is	feeling	stifled	by	her	life	.	she's	at	a	turning	point	in	her	life	,	and	feels	as	if	she's	going	nowhere	.	her	boyfriend	,	michael	(	jon	bon	jovi	)	,	is	broke	and	in	a	dead	end	job	.	if	she	were	to	marry	him	,	she'd	never	get	a	chance	to	escape	this	town	.	enter	charlie	(	edward	burns	)	,	claudia's	old	flame	.	he	skipped	town	several	years	before	,	without	any	explanations	.	.	.	even	for	claudia	.	he	has	come	back	to	town	to	see	her	,	and	suddenly	she	is	torn	.	should	she	stay	with	stable	michael	,	and	never	escape	her	hometown	.	.	.	or	should	she	ignore	her	instincts	and	fall	for	charlie	again	.	part	of	the	answer	lies	in	the	character	of	her	mother	(	blythe	danner	)	,	who	fell	for	the	wrong	man	.	.	.	and	has	spent	her	life	pining	for	claudia's	father	to	return	.	now	it	seems	that	claudia	is	about	to	make	the	same	mistakes	.	at	only	a	little	past	ninety	minutes	,	no	looking	back	is	rather	short	for	its	genre	.	unfortunately	,	it	seems	much	much	longer	.	the	storyline	is	simple	and	uninspired	,	and	there's	a	lack	of	energy	to	the	whole	proceedings	,	which	makes	the	entire	drama	rather	tedious	.	edward	burns	makes	a	misstep	by	casting	himself	in	the	crucial	role	as	the	egomaniacal	old	flame	.	there's	no	one	to	restrain	his	ego	,	which	reigns	unchecked	.	he	walks	into	the	room	and	lauren	holly	swoons	.	.	.	yeah	,	right	.	lauren	holly	does	what	she	can	with	her	central	character	.	but	we	never	understand	why	her	character	makes	such	pathetically	bad	decisions	.	.	.	and	we	never	really	care	.	bon	jovi	is	the	only	sympathetic	character	in	the	whole	movie	.	his	acting	talents	are	much	greater	than	they	might	seem	,	but	he	is	given	a	mostly	bland	and	ineffective	role	to	work	with	.	there's	not	much	to	recommend	in	no	looking	back	.	it's	not	that	the	film	is	bad	.	.	.	it's	simply	boring	.	there's	no	zest	in	any	aspect	of	the	film	,	and	no	reason	to	spend	ninety	minutes	watching	it	.
neg	directed	by	neil	jordan	.	cast	:	eomann	owens	,	stephen	rea	,	fiona	shaw	,	alan	boyle	,	andrew	fullerton	,	aisling	o'sullivan	,	sinead	o'connor	,	ian	hart	,	milo	o'shea	.	1998	111	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	gore	,	and	profanity	)	.	reviewed	november	15	,	1998	.	i	have	always	been	a	fan	of	director	neil	jordan	,	from	his	early	work	,	such	as	1984's	"	the	company	of	wolves	,	"	to	1992's	"	the	crying	game	,	"	and	1994's	"	interview	with	a	vampire	.	"	his	latest	film	,	"	the	butcher	boy	,	"	is	a	return	to	his	roots	in	ireland	,	but	unfortunately	,	it	is	not	a	successful	homecoming	.	told	through	the	eyes	of	a	12	year	old	irish	boy	,	francis	(	newcomer	eomann	owens	)	,	this	peculiar	film	follows	him	as	we	learn	a	little	about	his	decidedly	unstable	life	.	his	father	(	stephen	rea	)	is	an	indifferent	alcoholic	,	his	mother	(	fiona	shaw	)	is	mentally	ill	and	always	in	and	out	of	hospitals	,	and	francis	himself	delights	in	terrorizing	the	mother	of	one	of	his	friends	after	he	is	forbidden	to	see	him	anymore	.	francis	is	the	type	of	boy	who	always	has	a	lot	to	say	,	but	mostly	fluctuates	between	sarcasm	and	frightening	honesty	,	and	it	quickly	becomes	apparent	that	he	may	very	well	be	a	little	psychotic	,	even	capable	of	brutal	murder	.	the	premise	of	,	"	the	butcher	boy	,	"	is	one	that	could	have	very	well	been	turned	into	a	thought	provoking	,	disturbing	motion	picture	,	but	somehow	nothing	works	.	francis	is	in	almost	every	scene	,	but	we	learn	very	little	about	him	,	as	if	the	film	was	distancing	itself	away	from	him	when	,	i	suspect	,	we	were	actually	supposed	to	sympathize	with	him	.	this	is	definately	not	young	owens	fault	,	however	,	because	he	gives	a	brilliantly	accurate	performance	,	and	is	able	to	also	seem	menacing	as	well	.	the	fact	that	we	don't	get	close	to	his	character	is	because	of	the	sloppy	screenplay	.	the	supporting	characters	are	no	help	,	though	.	rea	is	wasted	,	and	has	practically	no	scenes	where	he	actually	talks	to	his	son	,	or	to	anyone	else	for	that	matter	.	he	usually	seems	to	just	be	sitting	watching	the	television	throughout	.	shaw	has	a	little	bit	more	to	work	with	,	since	she	has	one	touching	scene	in	which	she	talks	to	francis	in	a	time	of	despair	,	but	is	out	of	the	picture	just	as	we	are	beginning	to	know	her	.	and	singer	sinead	o'connor	appears	rather	effectively	as	the	virgin	mary	who	occasionally	gives	francis	advice	.	the	pacing	is	all	off	in	,	"	the	butcher	boy	.	"	although	the	story	could	have	been	dynamite	,	it	moves	at	a	deadeningly	slow	rate	,	and	i	found	my	mind	wandering	every	once	in	a	while	.	it	is	also	very	episodic	,	because	the	developments	in	the	story	fly	by	with	no	satisfying	payoffs	.	at	one	point	,	francis	is	sent	away	to	a	juvenile	prison	,	and	an	odd	,	possibly	sexual	relationship	begins	to	develop	between	a	priest	and	himself	,	but	nothing	comes	of	it	.	i'd	rather	think	of	,	"	the	butcher	boy	,	"	as	a	brief	diversion	for	director	jordan	,	rather	than	a	total	misfire	.	he	has	already	proven	to	be	a	strong	director	,	but	he	lucked	out	with	this	latest	film	.	what	could	have	been	a	courageous	,	unsettling	character	study	of	an	emotionally	disturbed	young	boy	,	only	manages	to	be	an	ineffective	,	uninvolivng	bore	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
neg	spice	world	(	1998	)	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	copyright	1998	the	jacksonville	film	journal	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	cast	:	the	spice	girls	,	richard	e	.	grant	,	roger	moore	,	george	wendt	,	mark	mckenney	,	bob	hoskins	,	meat	loaf	,	elvis	costello	written	by	:	kim	fuller	directed	by	:	bob	spiers	running	time	:	93	minutes	my	rating	:	out	of	"	spice	world	"	is	just	one	long	promotional	film	for	the	british	girl	band	the	spice	girls	.	sure	there's	a	hint	of	humor	in	there	every	once	in	a	while	.	actually	,	there's	a	couple	of	pretty	good	jabs	at	the	spice	girls	.	but	overall	,	who	cares	?	not	me	.	if	you	don't	know	by	now	,	the	spice	girls	sing	songs	of	love	and	friendship	and	responsibility	and	girl	power	,	yet	dress	like	streetwalkers	from	a	lower	middle	class	neighborhood	.	in	"	spice	world	"	they	ride	around	in	their	big	tour	bus	,	whining	about	having	to	do	photo	shoots	and	give	interviews	.	amazingly	,	all	the	talk	they	do	about	keeping	commitments	and	upholding	responsibilities	only	really	applies	to	fun	things	,	things	they	want	to	do	,	not	things	they	are	required	to	do	to	keep	earning	money	.	and	they	keep	babbling	about	"	girl	power	"	when	they	should	really	be	talking	about	"	cleavage	power	"	.	i	mean	,	if	all	it	takes	is	girl	power	,	then	why	are	they	only	one	thread	away	from	bursting	out	of	their	skimpy	outfits	?	the	film	is	pg	,	but	really	with	only	some	very	minor	dialogue	changes	and	scene	extentions	,	you'd	have	yourself	one	raunchy	adult	film	.	by	the	way	,	there's	something	in	the	opening	credits	which	says	"	based	on	an	idea	by	the	spice	girls	"	.	wow	,	they	got	idea	credit	!	i	certainly	wish	that	was	a	new	trend	in	hollywood	.	.	.	giving	credit	for	simply	having	the	thought	"	say	girls	,	let's	make	a	movie	!	"	the	supporting	cast	fares	well	.	roger	moore	(	the	real	james	bond	)	mockingly	plays	the	cliche	spewing	"	chief	"	of	the	spice	girls	,	and	darn	it	all	,	he's	fun	to	watch	.	mark	mckenney	also	is	good	as	a	screenwriter	trying	to	pitch	film	ideas	to	the	band's	manager	(	richard	e	.	grant	)	.	one	question	though	:	george	wendt	?	you'd	think	that	"	spice	world	"	would	envoke	one	of	two	reactions	in	people	.	if	you	like	the	spice	girls	,	you'll	like	them	even	more	afterwards	.	and	if	you	can't	stand	them	(	like	me	)	,	then	"	spice	world	"	will	really	make	you	sick	.	oddly	,	the	audience	i	saw	the	film	with	,	roughly	50	twelve	year	old	girls	,	sat	in	silence	for	the	entire	film	.	well	,	not	the	two	who	sat	directly	behind	me	.	they	kept	muttering	"	this	is	stupid	"	over	and	over	again	.	maybe	there	is	hope	for	humanity	after	all	.	pg	hr	the	jacksonville	film	journal	film	reviews	by	chuck	dowling	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	"	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	a	1995	1998	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.
neg	hey	,	i've	got	a	great	idea	for	a	movie	!	ok	,	here	it	is	:	we'll	get	tim	allen	to	pull	angry	faces	for	about	two	hours	or	so	!	what's	that	?	sounds	too	boring	?	ok	,	how	about	this	then	:	we	still	have	tim	allen	pull	faces	for	about	two	hours	,	but	half	of	them	are	angry	looks	and	half	of	them	are	"	i'm	in	pain	!	"	looks	!	what's	that	?	that	still	doesn't	sound	funny	to	you	?	how	about	if	we	through	in	some	"	ewwwww	!	"	looks	?	still	not	funny	?	if	you	answered	"	no	,	that	doesn't	sound	funny	"	,	then	(	ding	ding	ding	!	)	you're	absolutely	correct	!	for	richer	or	poorer	is	a	moronic	farce	about	a	rich	married	couple	(	played	by	tim	allen	and	kirstie	alley	)	who	seek	refuge	in	an	amish	community	after	their	bumbling	accountant	(	wayne	knight	,	best	know	as	newman	on	tv's	"	seinfeld	"	)	gets	them	in	trouble	for	tax	evasion	.	what	ensues	is	a	badly	scripted	and	horribly	directed	114	minutes	of	cinema	hell	.	what	makes	this	all	wrong	is	that	nobody	seems	to	have	what	the	film	needs	.	.	.	namely	,	talent	!	backing	up	,	the	married	couple	is	brad	and	caroline	sexton	(	allen	and	alley	)	,	a	popular	snobby	duo	who	seem	totally	in	love	to	everyone	else	,	but	in	reality	are	on	the	brink	of	divorce	.	just	as	their	marriage	seems	to	be	hanging	from	it's	final	thread	,	brad	discovers	that	his	accountant	,	bob	lachman	(	knight	)	,	has	been	engaging	in	illegitimate	deals	in	the	sexton's	names	.	the	irs	catches	on	,	but	since	everything	points	back	to	the	sexton's	and	not	lachman	,	there	is	nothing	much	to	do	.	.	.	except	run	away	and	join	an	amish	community	.	first	time	screenwriters	jana	howington	and	steve	lukanic	give	us	a	couple	of	chuckle	out	loud	moments	,	and	even	some	decent	laughs	here	and	way	over	there	,	but	there	is	so	much	to	cringe	at	in	this	horribly	made	film	that	you'll	likely	miss	the	laughs	while	regurgitating	popcorn	.	alley	is	absolutely	unwatchable	,	and	the	chemistry	between	her	and	allen	is	about	as	believable	as	my	chemistry	homework	from	tenth	grade	(	which	,	i	inform	you	,	was	total	b	.	s	.	)	.	allen	and	alley	are	in	no	way	convincing	as	tycoons	,	nor	are	they	very	convincing	as	an	amish	couple	!	this	entire	movie	is	one	bad	ill	conceived	notion	that	should	have	been	curtailed	from	the	very	beginning	!	the	amish	in	this	movie	are	also	flimsy	and	unconvincing	.	it's	such	a	trite	,	stereotypical	script	that	i	imagine	the	actors	that	were	cast	(	noticing	that	they're	all	predominantly	tv	figures	)	were	probably	the	only	ones	they	could	get	!	bryan	spicer's	directing	doesn't	help	one	bit	,	either	.	in	fact	,	listing	spicer's	filmography	(	which	includes	the	first	"	power	rangers	"	movie	and	the	big	screen	adaption	of	mchale's	navy	)	is	more	of	an	insult	than	a	rsum	!	now	that	i've	pretty	much	run	for	richer	or	poorer	into	the	ground	,	i	will	let	you	in	on	the	best	thing	about	it	.	it	bumped	seven	films	up	a	notch	on	my	"	worst	of	"	1997	movie	list	.	that's	right	,	thanks	to	this	film	ranking	at	number	3	for	the	year's	worst	,	six	films	are	now	not	seemingly	as	bad	,	and	a	smile	like	yours	,	previously	inhabiting	the	number	ten	spot	,	now	doesn't	have	to	suffer	the	ridicule	of	making	my	bottom	ten	list	.	if	you	look	at	it	in	that	respect	,	for	richer	or	poorer	will	end	up	making	someone	happy	after	all	!
neg	starring	adam	sandler	,	fairuza	balk	,	kathy	bates	,	henry	winkler	,	jerry	reed	,	blake	clark	and	larry	gilliard	,	jr	.	it's	amazing	how	a	comedian	can	have	the	some	of	the	funniest	stand	up	around	but	completely	fall	flat	in	the	movies	.	take	adam	sandler	.	on	the	basis	of	his	first	two	cds	(	"	they're	all	gonna	laugh	at	you	!	"	and	"	what	the	hell	happened	to	me	?	"	)	,	he's	the	best	thing	to	hit	comedy	since	robin	williams	.	but	when	you	put	him	in	front	of	a	camera	,	it	just	isn't	the	same	.	i	kind	of	enjoyed	happy	gilmore	and	thought	that	it	warranted	a	marginal	recommendation	,	but	his	latest	film	,	the	waterboy	is	about	as	funny	as	a	root	canal	.	seriously	,	i'm	willing	to	wager	than	there	were	more	laughs	in	saving	private	ryan	than	there	are	here	.	in	fact	,	i	found	this	movie	to	be	more	depressing	than	comedic	.	the	first	half	hour	generated	not	one	smile	in	me	,	with	it's	scenes	of	emotional	abuse	towards	adam's	character	of	bobby	boucher	not	only	by	the	cruel	football	players	,	but	also	by	his	very	disturbed	mother	(	kathy	bates	what	is	the	world	coming	to	?	)	.	granted	,	after	the	film	gets	rolling	,	there	are	a	few	mild	chuckles	throughout	(	i'm	even	willing	to	admit	that	it	actually	had	me	laughing	once	or	twice	)	,	but	not	nearly	enough	to	sustain	the	waterboy	for	it's	nearly	hour	and	a	half	running	time	.	you're	all	familiar	with	the	plot	because	you've	seen	it	at	least	a	million	times	before	;	everyone	picks	on	the	hero	until	he	shows	a	hidden	talent	and	leads	the	underdog	team	to	victory	over	the	champions	,	in	the	process	not	only	winning	the	respect	of	his	teammates	but	also	getting	the	woman	he	loves	.	and	believe	me	,	i'm	not	giving	anything	away	by	saying	that	sandler's	team	wins	.	if	you	would	actually	feel	any	degree	of	suspense	watching	this	movie	,	then	god	be	with	you	.	the	only	things	that	keep	this	bomb	from	getting	the	big	banana	are	the	winning	performances	from	henry	winkler	as	the	insecure	coach	and	the	severely	underrated	fairuza	balk	as	bobby's	love	interest	.	i	mean	,	they	should	be	lending	their	talents	to	some	loftier	purpose	,	but	they	do	extremely	well	with	what	they	are	given	here	.	kudos	to	both	of	them	.	my	advice	to	adam	is	to	try	and	follow	in	the	footsteps	of	veteran	comedians	like	williams	and	steve	martin	,	who	made	a	very	smooth	and	successful	transition	from	stage	to	screen	.	rely	more	on	actual	comedy	rather	than	strange	voices	and	rude	noises	to	make	people	laugh	.	or	maybe	even	show	what	dramatic	talent	he	might	have	,	like	jim	carrey	did	with	the	recent	truman	show	.	with	the	obvious	and	considerable	talent	that	he	possesses	,	he	just	can't	keep	going	on	like	this	.
neg	universal	soldier	:	the	return	(	m	)	.	(	columbia	tristar	)	director	:	mic	rodgers	stars	:	jean	claude	van	damme	,	michael	jai	white	,	bill	goldberg	,	daniel	von	bargen	,	kiana	tom	,	justin	lazard	.	jean	claude	van	damme	reprises	his	character	of	luc	devereaux	,	the	regenerated	soldier	,	for	this	risible	second	sequel	to	1992's	violent	futuristic	thriller	universal	soldier	.	van	damme	was	absent	from	the	dire	1998	sequel	universal	soldier	ii	brothers	in	arms	,	in	which	his	character	was	played	by	another	performer	.	that	film	disappeared	straight	to	video	in	this	country	.	van	damme's	return	doesn't	necessarily	herald	an	improvement	in	quality	,	but	it	does	ensure	that	universal	soldier	:	the	return	gains	a	brief	cinema	release	before	disappearing	into	the	same	video	wilderness	that	has	claimed	most	of	his	recent	lacklustre	efforts	.	with	the	end	of	the	cold	war	,	the	military	is	drastically	reducing	its	budget	.	the	first	cutbacks	affect	the	futuristic	unisol	project	,	in	which	dead	soldiers	are	regenerated	and	turned	into	virtually	indestructible	cyborgs	.	but	seth	,	the	super	intelligent	computer	responsible	for	much	of	the	unisol	project	,	rebels	against	the	government's	plans	,	and	seizes	control	of	the	soldiers	.	seth	manages	to	assume	human	form	(	martial	arts	star	michael	jai	white	)	and	lead	his	invincible	troops	as	they	take	over	the	top	secret	complex	that	houses	the	unisol	project	.	as	a	stand	off	develops	between	the	regular	army	and	the	cyborgs	it	falls	to	devereaux	to	try	and	stop	seth's	plans	.	mic	rodgers	,	a	former	stunt	co	ordinator	who	has	worked	on	films	including	titanic	and	lethal	weapon	4	,	makes	his	directorial	debut	here	.	he	handles	the	action	and	pyrotechnics	effectively	enough	,	but	he	lacks	the	flair	and	visual	style	of	original	creators	roland	emmerich	and	dean	devlin	.	universal	soldier	the	return	lacks	the	energy	and	spectacularly	staged	action	sequences	of	the	original	.	this	highly	unlikely	scenario	uses	the	original	provocative	theme	purely	as	an	excuse	for	lots	of	testosterone	fuelled	action	,	loud	explosions	,	gratuitous	mayhem	,	formulaic	and	mindless	carnage	.	whereas	the	original	managed	to	pit	van	damme	against	fellow	action	star	dolph	lundgren	,	the	best	this	dire	sequel	can	do	is	pit	our	uncharismatic	muscle	bound	hero	against	bill	goldberg	,	the	popular	wrestler	,	whose	woeful	,	one	dimensional	performance	takes	the	craft	of	screen	acting	to	a	new	low	.	universal	soldier	the	return	is	a	far	cry	from	van	damme's	superior	action	thrillers	like	time	cop	and	sudden	death	,	and	further	demonstrates	just	how	far	his	career	has	fallen	.	the	scene	in	which	his	character	complains	that	he	doesn't	want	to	be	stereotyped	resonates	with	an	unintentional	irony	.	this	is	one	return	that	is	both	unnecessary	and	unwelcome	.
neg	cast	:	nicolas	cage	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	angelina	jolie	,	delroy	lindo	,	will	patton	,	robert	duvall	,	christopher	eccleston	writer	:	scott	rosenberg	.	director	:	dominic	sena	.	review	by	scott	hunt	movie	hunt	:	a	href	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	a	the	stereotypical	american	male	has	an	undeniable	fetishistic	love	of	sports	cars	.	producer	jerry	bruckheimer	plays	upon	that	attraction	with	a	movie	so	loaded	with	testosterone	and	laced	titillatingly	with	shot	after	frenetic	shot	of	powerful	muscle	cars	,	sleek	foreign	road	huggers	and	iconic	speed	machines	that	many	males	will	leave	the	theater	in	an	orgasmic	haze	.	gone	is	60	seconds	is	an	orgy	of	maleness	gone	horribly	awry	.	cage	is	legendary	retired	car	thief	,	memphis	raines	(	don't	you	love	cute	movie	names	)	,	who	must	call	upon	his	time	worn	skills	to	save	his	thick	headed	brother	(	ribisi	)	from	being	killed	.	seems	a	murderous	crime	boss	(	eccleston	)	with	a	fetish	for	wood	(	insert	your	own	joke	)	hired	brother	kip	to	steal	a	ridiculous	amount	of	expensive	,	exotic	autos	.	fifty	cars	,	to	be	exact	.	poor	kip	screws	the	pooch	and	bungles	the	job	badly	.	if	the	cars	aren't	delivered	in	three	days	,	bossman	has	a	casket	carved	out	just	for	kip	.	literally	.	if	only	someone	could	save	him	.	hmmmm	.	.	wonder	what	memphis	is	doing	?	in	order	to	give	the	film	some	emotional	heft	,	there	are	several	subplots	designed	to	tug	at	our	heartstrings	or	give	us	the	thrill	of	.	.	.	yawn	,	excuse	me	,	dramatic	tension	.	shadowing	memphis	is	an	old	law	enforcement	foe	(	lindo	)	who's	looking	to	send	memphis	away	.	will	he	catch	him	?	there's	old	flame	sway	(	jolie	)	,	who	had	her	heart	broken	by	memphis	years	ago	.	will	they	get	back	together	?	shortsighted	,	thrill	seeker	kip	idolizes	his	brother	,	yet	resents	him	for	moving	away	from	the	family	.	will	they	reconnect	?	raines	old	mentor	(	duvall	)	has	long	since	left	the	life	of	crime	.	will	memphis	get	him	finally	caught	as	he	pulls	him	back	into	the	life	,	one	more	time	?	can	you	answer	all	these	questions	correctly	in	2	seconds	without	seeing	the	film	first	?	i'll	bet	you	can	.	following	the	opening	credits	,	which	fill	you	in	on	the	accomplishments	of	the	raines	family	through	a	montage	of	old	photos	,	we	was	taken	full	throttle	into	the	splendor	that	is	memphis	.	he's	first	shown	living	the	good	life	teaching	young	children	to	drive	go	carts	.	in	a	later	scene	,	as	misfit	brother	kip	knowingly	tells	memphis	he	has	the	stolen	car	situation	under	control	,	all	the	while	making	breakfast	,	a	metaphor	is	made	of	shakespearean	proportions	.	just	as	a	pan	of	grease	flares	up	with	kip	clueless	to	how	to	quell	it	,	big	brother	memphis	calmly	and	efficiently	throws	some	salt	on	it	.	looks	like	everything	might	turn	out	alright	after	all	.	you	know	this	because	the	music	swells	on	the	crest	of	violins	.	that's	about	as	strong	as	the	characterization	gets	,	which	is	a	shame	.	bruckheimer	has	a	real	talent	for	loading	his	movies	with	an	obscene	amount	of	talent	given	the	task	at	hand	.	monumentally	underused	jolie	portrays	an	empty	headed	sexpot	whose	idea	of	sex	revolves	around	cars	and	memphis	.	or	maybe	it's	just	the	cars	.	duvall	trots	out	his	ornery	,	but	sweet	old	codger	outfit	.	i'm	sure	he's	still	laughing	at	taking	a	paycheck	for	this	one	.	lindo	projects	a	warm	hearted	,	but	tightly	focused	detective	that	almost	transcends	the	material	.	the	biggest	waste	of	resources	is	vinnie	jones	,	who	plays	a	mute	accomplice	of	memphis	.	without	saying	a	word	,	he	is	easily	the	most	charismatic	person	in	the	movie	.	like	a	blast	of	nitrous	oxide	,	he	attacks	each	scene	with	a	straightforward	zeal	.	too	bad	his	minutes	onscreen	are	so	few	.	somehow	,	bruckheimer	manages	to	attract	top	hollywood	acting	talent	to	high	concept	,	poorly	written	movies	,	gussies	up	the	film	with	lots	of	gold	hues	and	pleasingly	stylized	action	and	they	sell	like	proverbial	hotcakes	.	every	time	something	clever	happens	it's	counterbalanced	by	something	so	overtly	wrong	that	it	jerks	you	back	into	realizing	you're	watching	a	movie	.	there's	a	innovative	usage	of	black	lighting	that	goes	from	being	a	novelty	to	a	part	of	the	plot	.	it's	counterbalanced	by	an	extremely	feeble	attempt	at	humor	by	having	an	asian	american	repeatedly	failing	a	driver's	test	.	imagine	the	yuks	.	there's	a	segment	where	one	of	the	thieves	shows	another	his	cool	fake	fingerprint	trick	.	it's	countered	by	the	lame	semi	subplot	of	a	car	being	stolen	with	a	bunch	of	heroin	in	the	trunk	.	the	ramifications	are	never	explored	.	then	there's	the	ridiculousness	of	the	many	cops	who	actually	shoot	at	fleeing	cars	.	not	only	is	it	stupid	,	but	it's	against	the	law	.	this	is	a	movie	made	of	pretty	,	but	tepid	car	chases	strung	together	by	just	enough	character	interaction	to	move	the	plot	along	.	gone	in	60	seconds	aptly	describes	how	long	it'll	take	for	this	marginally	entertaining	,	but	empty	film	to	leave	your	memory	.	hr	get	your	private	,	free	e	mail	from	msn	hotmail	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	hotmail	.	com	a
neg	directed	by	joe	johnston	.	screenplay	by	peter	buchman	,	alexander	payne	,	and	jim	taylor	,	based	on	characters	created	by	michael	crichton	.	starring	sam	neill	,	william	h	macy	,	tea	leoni	.	running	time	:	94	minutes	.	rated	aa	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	august	15th	,	2001	.	synopsis	:	original	"	jurassic	park	"	survivor	alan	grant	(	neill	)	is	tricked	by	paul	and	amanda	kirby	(	macy	and	leoni	)	into	leading	an	expedition	to	an	island	overrun	by	dinosaur	,	to	rescue	their	stranded	son	.	grant's	team	is	picked	off	one	by	one	as	they	encounter	dinosaurs	both	new	and	familiar	,	and	grant	grows	to	realise	that	some	breeds	are	more	intelligent	than	he	previously	thought	.	review	:	there	is	one	reason	why	"	jurassic	park	iii	"	is	better	than	its	immediate	predecessor	,	"	the	lost	world	:	jurassic	park	"	.	the	latter	wasted	129	minutes	of	my	life	;	the	former	,	only	94	.	the	first	"	park	"	was	a	marvellous	film	,	full	of	awe	inspiring	sights	,	interesting	characters	,	and	genuine	thrills	.	its	two	successors	have	been	pale	imitations	,	amounting	to	hundred	million	dollar	b	grade	horror	movies	.	at	least	this	third	entry	realises	it	;	whereas	"	the	lost	world	"	tried	to	justify	its	existence	with	a	ludicrous	and	overextended	plot	,	"	jurassic	park	iii	"	simply	sticks	its	characters	on	an	island	with	a	bunch	of	dinosaurs	and	lets	the	mayhem	begin	.	there	is	a	desperate	sense	of	deja	vu	presiding	over	this	movie	;	the	computer	animated	dinos	are	no	longer	novel	or	exciting	,	and	even	the	first	time	presence	of	aerial	lizards	scarcely	improves	the	situation	.	remember	that	wondrous	first	trolley	ride	through	the	park	in	the	original	movie	?	nothing	in	this	rehash	even	comes	close	.	add	in	execrable	dialogue	from	screenwriters	buchman	,	payne	and	taylor	,	and	phoned	in	performances	by	the	normally	capable	macy	and	leoni	,	and	it	is	difficult	to	recommend	the	film	to	anyone	but	dino	enthusiasts	.	at	least	neill	makes	some	effort	to	retain	the	dignity	of	his	character	,	and	there	is	much	less	gore	than	in	"	the	lost	world	"	,	making	this	installment	more	suitable	for	children	.	copyright	2001	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	a	shannon	patrick	sullivan	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	go	.	to	drwho	history	__	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	but	some	of	us	are	looking	at	the	stars	__
neg	united	states	,	1998	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	5	8	98	(	wide	)	running	length	:	1	:	20	mpaa	classification	:	r	(	profanity	,	mature	themes	,	sexual	situations	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	1	.	85	:	1	cast	:	jada	pinkett	smith	,	tommy	davidson	,	dave	chappelle	,	paula	jai	parker	,	ll	cool	j	,	darrel	heath	,	michael	ralph	,	duane	martin	director	:	daisy	v	.	s	.	mayer	producers	:	beth	hubbard	,	michael	hubbard	screenplay	:	david	c	.	johnson	cinematography	:	jean	lepine	music	:	michel	colombier	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	new	line	cinema	working	in	the	motion	picture	industry	must	be	a	constant	source	of	frustration	for	a	front	line	african	american	actress	like	jada	pinkett	smith	.	despite	being	one	of	the	freshest	talents	available	,	pinkett	smith	has	often	been	relegated	to	playing	thankless	supporting	parts	(	a	low	down	dirty	shame	,	the	nutty	professor	)	.	the	problem	is	,	of	course	,	that	there	aren't	many	good	roles	available	for	black	women	.	take	away	the	likes	of	waiting	to	exhale	,	set	it	off	,	soul	food	,	and	eve's	bayou	,	and	all	that's	left	is	a	chance	to	be	someone's	girlfriend	,	a	local	whore	,	or	a	murder	victim	.	as	a	result	,	for	pinkett	smith's	first	opportunity	atop	the	marquee	,	she	is	stuck	in	a	stupid	,	formulaic	romantic	comedy	with	the	unpromising	title	of	woo	.	actually	,	woo	,	the	latest	directorial	effort	from	daisy	v	.	s	.	mayer	(	party	girl	)	,	could	have	been	worse	than	it	is	.	the	film	offers	a	few	funny	(	albeit	juvenile	)	moments	and	the	on	screen	relationship	between	pinkett	smith's	woo	and	tommy	davidson's	tim	is	appealing	on	those	rare	occasions	when	the	two	aren't	forced	to	play	it	dumb	for	the	sake	of	an	endless	barrage	of	cheap	gags	.	unfortunately	,	huge	portions	of	the	movie	are	insulting	to	the	intelligence	of	anyone	with	a	triple	digit	i	.	q	.	the	situations	are	painfully	contrived	,	the	main	characters	are	lifted	right	out	of	sit	coms	,	and	the	supporting	players	are	so	incredibly	stupid	that	i	wondered	whether	they	all	participated	in	some	kind	of	"	free	lobotomy	"	lab	experiment	.	woo	is	a	spontaneous	,	energetic	young	woman	who	has	been	looking	for	love	in	all	the	wrong	places	.	her	latest	relationship	,	with	a	testosterone	overdosed	drug	dealer	,	came	to	an	abrupt	end	when	she	refused	to	wear	a	beeper	.	now	,	her	transvestite	medium	friend	celestrial	(	girlina	)	predicts	that	she's	about	to	meet	mr	.	right	,	and	that	he'll	be	a	virgo	.	later	that	day	,	woo	is	given	an	opportunity	to	go	out	on	a	blind	date	with	tim	,	a	shy	man	with	a	penchant	for	neatness	and	order	,	who	just	happens	to	be	a	virgo	.	it's	not	love	at	first	sight	,	however	.	things	get	off	to	a	rocky	start	when	tim	makes	an	awkward	pass	,	and	they	get	even	worse	when	the	pair	arrives	at	a	swanky	restaurant	to	enjoy	a	"	quiet	"	dinner	.	in	the	one	hundred	year	history	of	motion	pictures	,	there	have	been	a	ton	of	bad	"	white	"	movies	about	mismatched	lovers	,	so	i	suppose	it's	only	fair	that	we	get	a	"	black	"	effort	of	the	same	low	caliber	.	as	in	all	romantic	comedies	,	we	know	from	the	beginning	that	woo	and	tim	are	going	to	end	up	together	.	the	question	is	,	are	their	courtship	rituals	entertaining	?	in	a	good	entry	to	the	genre	,	the	audience	becomes	caught	up	in	the	love	story	,	no	matter	how	familiar	it	is	.	in	woo	,	the	constant	reliance	upon	unfunny	,	moronic	humor	sinks	the	project	.	for	those	who	enjoy	spotting	continuity	gaffes	,	there's	a	huge	one	in	woo	involving	a	corvette	with	a	broken	window	that	miraculously	repairs	itself	(	added	to	that	is	the	mystery	of	how	the	car	looses	its	top	)	.	sadly	,	that's	one	of	the	film's	most	enjoyable	sequences	,	and	the	entertainment	value	is	entirely	unintentional	.	despite	exuding	charm	from	every	pore	,	there's	little	that	pinkett	smith	and	davidson	can	do	to	save	their	characters	or	david	c	.	johnson's	script	.	since	it	misses	the	mark	by	so	much	,	a	better	name	for	woo	might	have	been	whoops	.
neg	directed	by	john	ottman	.	screenplay	by	paul	harris	boardman	scott	derrickson	,	based	on	characters	created	by	silvio	horta	.	starring	jennifer	morrison	,	matthew	davis	,	loretta	devine	.	running	time	:	100	minutes	.	rated	r	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	october	2nd	,	2000	.	two	years	ago	,	the	original	"	urban	legend	"	was	a	surprise	,	proving	to	be	the	most	worthy	of	the	litany	of	"	scream	"	rip	offs	.	although	by	no	means	classic	cinema	,	it	was	entertaining	and	boasted	an	entertaining	premise	,	taking	typical	slasher	film	shenanigans	and	dressing	them	up	in	the	context	of	popular	urban	legends	.	aided	by	good	performances	and	energetic	direction	,	"	urban	legend	"	turned	out	to	be	ideal	popcorn	fare	.	now	comes	the	sequel	of	sorts	,	"	urban	legends	:	final	cut	"	.	instead	of	being	a	continuation	of	the	first	movie	,	this	one	is	intended	to	be	more	of	a	thematic	successor	.	its	events	are	inspired	by	the	original	,	and	only	two	characters	carry	over	.	most	notable	is	security	guard	reese	(	loretta	devine	)	,	now	working	at	a	university	whose	film	students	compete	for	the	prestigious	and	lucrative	hitchcock	prize	.	one	night	,	reese	encounters	amy	mayfield	(	jennifer	morrison	)	,	who	is	casting	about	for	a	topic	for	her	thesis	film	.	reese	tells	her	about	the	events	she	endured	at	pendleton	in	the	original	picture	(	"	but	that's	just	an	urban	legend	,	"	amy	protests	in	one	of	the	more	clever	lines	of	dialogue	)	and	this	inspires	amy	to	make	her	own	movie	about	a	campus	killer	who	bases	his	murders	on	urban	myths	.	but	as	production	gets	under	way	,	somebody	seizes	on	the	pendleton	"	legend	"	in	a	far	more	literal	manner	,	and	begins	killing	film	students	in	the	same	style	.	or	,	at	least	,	that's	what's	supposed	to	be	happening	.	but	"	urban	legends	"	is	so	ineptly	written	by	paul	harris	boardman	and	scott	derrickson	that	the	central	motif	is	virtually	forgotten	about	,	or	treated	more	as	a	crutch	.	although	boardman	and	derrickson	go	through	the	motions	of	dressing	their	murders	up	in	"	urban	legend	"	style	,	this	is	largely	just	used	as	an	irrelevant	backdrop	while	the	killings	are	carried	out	in	typical	slasher	style	.	there	is	a	startling	dearth	of	imagination	here	:	even	the	deaths	,	usually	the	high	points	of	any	movie	of	this	genre	,	lack	invention	.	there	is	a	similar	lethargy	to	many	of	the	other	plot	points	.	characters	are	introduced	who	are	so	obviously	intended	to	be	potential	suspects	a	rival	movie	director	,	a	mysterious	twin	brother	,	an	eccentric	movie	groupie	that	they	deserve	little	flags	.	having	introduced	such	characters	,	boardman	and	derrickson	make	little	effort	to	heighten	the	suspense	by	developing	them	further	;	they	are	pretty	much	just	thrown	out	there	,	and	it	is	expected	that	the	viewer	will	generate	his	own	mystery	trying	to	figure	out	which	one	actually	did	it	.	"	urban	legends	"	,	though	,	is	so	thoroughly	unengaging	that	there	is	no	cause	to	contemplate	such	things	;	there	are	far	greater	mysteries	,	like	why	a	studio	would	greenlight	such	a	paltry	,	third	rate	script	.	"	urban	legends	"	has	the	feel	almost	of	a	serialised	drama	,	with	each	incident	happening	seemingly	in	isolation	.	characters	appear	just	so	that	they	can	serve	as	the	next	victim	.	people	die	and	are	not	mentioned	again	for	huge	stretches	of	time	.	the	movie	evokes	the	sense	of	filmmakers	going	through	the	motions	murders	and	other	scary	incidents	occur	not	because	the	plot	demands	it	,	but	just	to	fill	time	.	this	is	moviemaking	at	its	most	mechanical	.	there	is	little	in	the	way	of	characterisation	to	speak	of	,	and	few	of	the	castmembers	engender	any	interest	or	sympathy	.	the	revelation	that	one	character	has	a	twin	,	for	example	,	is	completely	defused	by	the	fact	that	we	knew	nothing	about	the	character	in	the	first	place	.	morrison	proves	a	poor	successor	to	"	urban	legend's	"	spunky	alicia	witt	not	because	she	doesn't	try	,	but	simply	because	she	is	given	no	material	to	work	with	.	amy	is	a	dull	,	monotonous	character	,	and	the	filmmakers	seem	to	assume	that	we	will	empathise	with	her	simply	because	she's	the	main	character	,	not	because	they	have	established	her	as	somebody	worthy	of	our	interest	.	amongst	the	other	characters	,	devine	is	downright	embarrassing	as	reese	,	having	apparently	graduated	from	the	"	police	academy	"	stable	.	matthew	davis	,	who	plays	twins	travis	and	trevor	,	is	aimless	in	either	role	.	perhaps	the	biggest	name	actor	,	joseph	lawrence	(	best	known	as	the	guy	who	says	'woah	!	'	on	"	blossom	"	)	,	is	confined	to	a	forgettable	one	note	part	.	john	ottman's	direction	is	unremarkable	and	drops	the	ball	more	than	once	during	action	scenes	,	where	the	sequence	of	events	is	frequently	confusing	and	difficult	to	discern	.	certainly	,	ottman	does	little	to	cultivate	an	atmosphere	of	suspense	or	terror	.	but	then	,	there	is	precious	little	mystery	anywhere	in	"	urban	legends	"	a	particularly	galling	fact	given	that	the	film	invokes	such	names	as	hitchcock	and	welles	.	it	all	comes	to	a	head	with	the	revelation	of	the	killer	,	which	is	done	so	off	handedly	and	absurdly	that	i	kept	waiting	for	the	other	shoe	to	drop	(	it	never	does	)	.	indeed	,	it	was	moments	like	this	that	made	me	wonder	if	"	urban	legends	"	was	perhaps	intended	to	be	more	a	satire	of	slasher	films	than	just	a	standard	entry	into	the	genre	.	but	if	that	is	the	case	,	then	it	is	a	most	incompetent	effort	,	totally	failing	to	illuminate	any	truths	about	slasher	movies	(	except	,	perhaps	,	that	they're	all	but	exhausted	)	and	instead	wallowing	in	their	most	dubious	cliches	.	"	urban	legends	:	final	cut	"	is	,	quite	simply	,	badly	made	.	the	direction	is	hamfisted	.	the	acting	is	without	merit	.	the	writing	is	on	about	the	same	level	as	that	roomful	of	typewriter	endowed	chimpanzees	.	it	is	amusing	that	the	movie	is	set	at	a	film	school	,	because	you	have	to	wonder	how	much	time	its	creators	actually	spent	at	one	.	the	only	positive	thing	that	can	be	said	about	"	urban	legends	"	is	that	,	in	the	end	,	it	could	have	been	a	lot	worse	.	it	is	never	actively	terrible	;	it	is	just	incredibly	lazy	,	inducing	more	a	sense	of	ennui	than	of	critical	revulsion	.	nonetheless	,	it	is	yet	another	example	of	how	the	teen	slasher	genre	is	in	desperate	need	of	either	fresh	ideas	or	a	long	rest	.	hopefully	,	this	is	indeed	the	'final	cut'	for	the	"	urban	legend	"	mini	franchise	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	urbanlegends	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	urbanlegends	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
neg	tim	burton	has	now	completed	his	evolution	from	the	brilliant	director	of	macabre	stories	about	outcast	individuals	yearning	for	acceptance	,	and	into	a	studio	monkey	whose	name	is	used	as	part	of	multi	tiered	marketing	materials	for	crap	movies	.	and	here	he	hits	rock	bottom	,	with	planet	of	the	apes	.	i	didn't	expect	much	from	this	latest	"	interpretation	"	of	pierre	boulle's	classic	novel	planet	of	the	apes	.	i	mean	,	how	could	you	top	the	force	and	impact	of	the	original	film	,	intelligently	co	scripted	by	rod	serling	(	of	twilight	zone	fame	)	combined	with	the	overbearing	chuck	heston	growling	and	yelling	at	those	"	damn	dirty	apes	,	"	in	one	of	his	best	roles	of	his	career	?	sadly	,	i	sat	down	to	watch	burton's	version	of	planet	of	the	apes	and	within	the	first	20	minutes	,	i	was	checking	my	watch	and	my	girlfriend	(	a	big	fan	of	the	original	film	)	started	to	nod	off	.	this	time	around	,	the	story	plays	out	like	a	cross	between	enemy	mine	,	braveheart	,	and	project	x	.	marky	mark	wahlberg	,	who	was	enjoyable	in	boogie	nights	and	the	corrupter	,	plays	leo	davidson	,	a	hot	shot	u	.	s	.	air	force	pilot	.	leo	and	his	crew	are	in	search	of	some	mysterious	magnetic	storms	(	no	real	explanation	given	in	the	film	)	and	leo	sends	one	of	his	genetically	altered	"	smart	"	chimps	into	the	storms	to	collect	data	.	leo	and	his	crew	lose	communication	with	the	chimp	,	leo	hops	in	another	ship	to	find	the	monkey	,	and	then	he's	thrown	through	some	type	of	time	space	wormhole	which	crashes	lands	on	the	twentieth	century	fox	studio	backlot	,	all	mocked	up	to	look	like	the	amazon	jungle	.	leo	ends	up	getting	captured	by	a	group	of	talking	apes	and	is	sold	to	a	slave	trader	named	limbo	(	paul	giamatti	)	who	in	turn	sells	leo	to	a	chimpanzee	named	ari	(	helena	bonham	carter	)	.	the	kind	ari	then	helps	leo	and	his	fellow	humans	escape	to	the	mountains	to	find	leo's	ship	.	along	the	way	,	monkeys	played	by	tim	roth	(	overacting	his	role	of	a	vicious	general	named	thade	)	and	michael	clarke	duncan	(	who	further	enhances	his	career	by	playing	another	heavy	in	a	bad	action	movie	)	strive	out	to	hunt	down	leo	and	his	band	of	human	savages	,	just	like	battlefield	earth	!	in	the	end	,	it	all	culminates	into	another	braveheart	rip	off	human	versus	ape	battle	scene	.	while	rick	baker's	makeup	work	is	amazing	,	the	script	is	a	pathetic	hodgepodge	(	courtesy	of	three	writers	)	,	the	acting	is	horrible	,	and	the	"	surprise	"	ending	feels	like	a	swing	from	a	ball	peen	hammer	into	the	temple	.	wahlberg	does	not	have	the	physical	or	mental	presence	of	a	chuck	heston	to	carry	the	film	or	any	of	its	action	sequences	.	this	remake	,	or	re	interpretation	,	as	tim	burton	has	proclaimed	it	,	is	an	insult	to	the	intelligence	and	wit	of	the	original	film	.	the	ethical	arguments	about	the	equality	of	species	,	fascism	,	and	military	buildup	have	been	replaced	by	tremendous	amounts	of	ridiculous	dialogue	,	an	unimaginative	narrative	structure	,	and	a	romance	between	a	monkey	and	a	human	.	even	chuck	heston's	anti	gun	tirade	(	in	the	de	rigeur	cameo	)	seems	shallow	and	jokey	.	but	the	main	element	missing	from	this	tim	burton	film	is	tim	burton	.	even	though	his	name	is	plastered	across	every	billboard	in	america	,	john	badham	could	have	directed	this	film	.	even	joel	schumacher	could	have	directed	this	film	.	he	probably	should	have	.	burton's	predominant	themes	of	rejection	,	isolation	,	and	the	search	for	one's	place	in	the	universe	,	as	seen	in	ed	wood	,	edward	scissorshands	,	and	pee	wee's	big	adventure	,	are	completely	absent	in	this	planet	.	i	suppose	that's	what	happen	when	a	great	director	gets	sucked	through	a	wormhole	.
neg	mr	.	wrong	1	2	.	directed	by	nick	castle	.	produced	by	marty	katz	.	written	by	chris	matheson	,	kerry	ehrin	,	craig	munson	.	photography	,	john	schwartzman	.	production	design	,	doug	kraner	.	editing	,	patrick	kennedy	,	music	,	craig	safan	.	cast	:	ellen	degeneres	(	martha	alston	)	,	bill	pullman	(	whitman	crawford	)	,	joan	cusack	(	inge	)	,	dean	stockwell	(	jack	tramonte	)	,	joan	plowright	(	mrs	.	crawford	)	,	john	livingston	(	walter	)	,	robert	goulet	(	dick	braxton	)	,	ellen	cleghorne	(	jane	)	,	hope	davis	(	annie	)	,	brad	henke	(	bob	)	,	christine	cattell	(	nancy	culpepper	)	,	peter	white	(	mr	.	alston	)	,	polly	holliday	(	mrs	.	alston	)	,	maddie	corman	(	missy	)	,	et	al	.	a	touchstone	picture	.	92	mins	.	pg	13	.	today	you're	the	toast	of	the	town	,	tomorrow	you're	just	toast	.	that's	what	happens	to	popular	tv	and	stand	up	comedian	ellen	degeneres	in	her	first	feature	role	.	actually	,	past	a	dumb	giveaway	opening	scene	that	leads	to	a	long	flashback	,	the	start	of	"	mr	.	wrong	"	is	at	least	as	funny	as	the	thought	of	certain	people	as	us	president	.	martha	(	degeneres	)	,	31	,	a	talent	coordinator	for	a	local	tv	talk	show	,	is	at	her	younger	sister's	wedding	.	even	when	unspoken	,	the	pressure	by	family	and	friends	to	have	martha	find	her	own	mr	.	right	permeates	the	air	.	martha	however	,	professionally	content	and	personally	well	balanced	,	is	acceptably	happy	as	a	single	.	she	bides	her	time	.	there	are	good	nuances	in	her	portrait	.	cut	to	some	amusing	office	scenes	,	notably	of	martha's	much	younger	assistant	walter	who	keeps	courting	her	.	cut	to	lonely	martha's	date	with	a	yoyo	who	brags	:	"	i	can	sell	ovens	to	eskimos	.	"	nonplussed	martha	:	"	i	think	the	usual	expression	is	freezers	.	"	he	,	puzzled	:	"	what	would	they	need	them	for	?	"	and	on	her	doorstep	he	asks	:	"	give	me	a	french	kiss	.	"	ugh	.	the	future	suddenly	materializes	in	the	person	of	whitman	crawford	(	pullman	)	,	met	cute	(	but	not	too	)	around	a	jukebox	playing	the	hank	williams	oldie	"	i'm	so	lonesome	i	could	cry	"	(	performed	by	chris	isaak	)	.	before	you	can	say	valentine's	day	,	they're	having	a	hot	affair	.	the	morning	after	,	at	the	office	,	her	best	friend	breathlessly	inquires	"	did	you	?	did	he	?	did	he	?	"	1990s	coded	language	for	safe	sex	.	martha	is	in	seventh	heaven	with	whitman's	devotion	,	classiness	and	gentleness	.	he	writes	poetry	(	he	recites	some	gibberish	to	her	in	a	funny	scene	)	and	,	as	we	learn	later	,	gets	from	a	trust	50	,	000	a	month	.	when	he	takes	her	to	see	his	mother	(	joan	plowright	)	weirdness	begins	to	set	in	.	when	martha	innocently	tells	him	"	i	want	you	to	be	yourself	,	"	this	turns	out	to	be	as	drastic	as	pressing	the	red	missile	launching	button	.	whitman	drops	what	we	realize	was	a	fake	persona	and	does	become	himself	.	no	,	he's	no	serial	killer	but	a	total	loony	who	does	odd	and	tasteless	things	,	and	desperately	wants	to	marry	martha	.	in	turn	,	she	now	desperately	wants	out	.	so	far	,	so	good	.	but	the	movie	takes	a	sudden	dive	past	the	first	35	40	minutes	and	keeps	shedding	ratings	stars	.	the	balance	is	devoted	to	whitman's	relentless	pursuit	and	stalking	of	martha	.	unreasonably	jealous	,	whitman's	previous	girlfriend	inge	(	cusack	)	aided	by	a	fat	,	hopeless	suitor	,	menaces	martha	whom	whitman	keeps	showering	with	gifts	and	unwelcome	attentions	.	"	mr	.	wrong	"	becomes	tedious	though	not	awful	(	yet	)	,	given	its	small	ambitions	.	but	after	a	second	plunge	it	smashes	itself	flat	on	the	pavement	.	meandering	,	incoherence	,	confusion	and	stupidity	turn	fun	into	fiasco	.	much	is	wrong	with	"	mr	.	wrong	.	"	the	direction	,	hesitant	and	uneven	from	the	start	,	worsens	exponentially	.	the	concocted	by	committee	scenario	gets	even	more	painful	.	one	of	the	scripters	had	done	the	"	bill	ted	"	flicks	.	the	other	two	are	first	timers	.	past	the	initial	impetus	,	the	trio	grope	in	the	dark	,	have	no	idea	where	to	go	next	,	fail	to	find	a	single	acceptable	development	,	gag	or	line	.	the	plot	includes	some	name	performers	given	either	microscopic	walk	on	parts	(	goulet	)	or	a	small	,	wasted	ones	(	plowright	,	stockwell	,	tv	"	alice	"	's	holliday	)	.	criminally	idiotic	is	the	role	of	the	usually	incomparable	joan	cusack	,	slated	in	my	book	for	the	thelma	ritter	award	.	criminally	cruel	is	the	way	degeneres	is	photographed	.	the	very	fact	that	she	is	no	movie	beauty	should	have	been	worked	on	to	show	us	a	real	person	,	a	change	from	bimboids	.	it	is	pure	technical	sloppiness	.	look	at	robert	redford	in	newscasts	,	then	at	his	younger	,	well	made	up	and	shot	,	transformed	face	in	the	previews	of	his	new	film	.	coming	close	to	being	right	in	"	mr	.	wrong	"	are	a	)	the	natural	rapport	between	degeneres	and	best	friend	ellen	cleghorne	,	a	black	actress	,	and	b	)	the	perfect	normalcy	of	older	women	having	affairs	with	younger	men	.	alas	,	both	notions	are	way	underdeveloped	,	and	the	second	is	botched	up	by	the	asinine	ending	.	perhaps	theaters	ought	to	screen	only	the	first	section	,	for	two	thirds	off	tickets	.
neg	watchers	reborn	(	1998	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1999	justin	felix	.	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	this	review	also	appears	in	the	shrubbery	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	0299	movie3	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	0299	movie3	.	html	a	screenplay	by	sean	dash	.	based	upon	the	novel	watchers	by	dean	koontz	.	directed	by	john	carl	buechler	.	starring	mark	hamill	,	lou	rawls	,	kane	hodder	,	lisa	wilcox	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	and	profanity	)	83	mins	.	synopsis	:	a	humorless	police	officer's	life	changes	when	he	befriends	a	super	smart	,	super	adorable	golden	retriever	named	einstein	and	a	cute	,	young	blond	scientist	.	unfortunately	,	einstein	shares	a	psychic	link	with	a	bigfoot	sized	ape	creature	trained	by	the	blond	scientist	to	be	an	unstoppable	killing	machine	,	and	this	rogaine	nightmare	is	loose	and	after	the	dog	and	the	girl	.	meanwhile	,	a	group	of	white	,	chain	smoking	,	gun	toting	nsa	agents	in	sunglasses	and	business	suits	tries	to	kill	all	the	other	characters	in	the	movie	.	comments	:	watchers	reborn	,	a	cheaply	made	direct	to	video	turkey	,	is	the	fourth	sequel	to	the	first	film	version	of	dean	koontz's	bestselling	novel	watchers	.	technically	,	this	should	have	been	called	watchers	v	,	but	it	seems	that	this	cycle	of	horror	movies	,	much	like	many	other	sequel	crazy	film	series	,	has	decided	to	drop	the	numbers	from	the	titles	.	(	even	the	star	trek	movies	dropped	the	numbers	from	their	titles	after	star	trek	vi	.	)	the	makers	of	watchers	reborn	probably	want	to	fool	unsuspecting	video	rental	customers	into	thinking	this	might	be	a	good	movie	instead	of	a	crappy	fifth	installment	of	a	film	series	which	should	have	died	a	long	time	ago	.	this	really	isn't	a	good	movie	.	have	you	ever	rented	a	movie	and	recieved	a	sinking	feeling	about	it	when	you	watched	the	previews	preceding	the	feature	presentation	?	well	,	any	hope	a	viewer	may	have	had	,	perhaps	because	he	is	a	fan	of	novelist	dean	koontz	or	actor	mark	hamill	,	will	be	dashed	by	the	time	he's	seen	the	trailers	tagged	on	before	the	beginning	of	watchers	reborn	.	they're	awful	.	these	commercials	cover	films	like	a	strange	stripper	movie	called	shadow	dancer	,	some	weird	crap	about	a	dead	indian	,	teens	,	and	wolves	,	and	an	"	action	"	movie	called	detonator	starring	scott	baio	.	scott	baio	!	what	idiot	dreamed	this	movie	up	?	after	surviving	these	abysmal	trailers	,	the	person	finally	gets	to	watch	the	movie	he	rented	:	watchers	reborn	.	"	maybe	it	won't	be	that	bad	"	he	may	say	to	himself	.	"	perhaps	,	just	perhaps	,	the	bottom	of	the	barrel	film	fluff	advertised	before	it	is	greatly	misleading	.	watchers	reborn	,	after	all	,	is	based	on	that	cool	book	dean	koontz	wrote	a	decade	ago	.	it	stars	mark	hamill	luke	skywalker	himself	from	that	terrific	star	wars	trilogy	.	lou	rawls	is	even	in	the	mix	!	"	unfortunately	,	the	force	is	certainly	no	longer	with	mark	hamill	(	he	looks	very	sick	here	)	,	and	this	movie	shares	only	basic	plot	elements	with	watchers	,	the	book	.	the	latter	is	really	too	bad	.	koontz	is	a	hack	writer	producing	way	too	many	thrillers	for	his	own	good	,	but	he	is	still	my	favorite	hack	writer	.	koontz	has	a	writing	style	which	is	succinct	and	suspenseful	.	people	who	read	many	of	his	books	,	however	,	often	complain	of	repetitive	plot	devices	.	it's	definately	not	a	koontz	book	if	there	isn't	(	1	)	a	psychic	,	(	2	)	a	super	intelligent	dog	,	or	(	3	)	a	psychotic	killer	who	likes	ripping	out	people's	eyeballs	.	watchers	has	all	three	devices	,	which	may	explain	why	it's	arguably	the	most	popular	of	koontz's	books	.	the	idea	behind	koontz's	novel	,	though	highly	implausible	,	is	very	interesting	.	basically	,	a	biological	war	machine	is	created	:	a	smart	dog	can	be	released	in	battle	,	track	down	its	target	,	and	then	relay	the	target's	position	,	psychically	,	to	a	large	creature	designed	to	kill	in	hand	to	hand	combat	.	silly	but	kind	of	neat	too	.	i'm	sorry	.	i	don't	mean	to	ramble	on	about	matters	not	directly	linked	to	watchers	reborn	,	the	movie	.	i	suppose	i	just	don't	want	to	talk	about	the	movie	itself	.	this	turkey	is	really	cheesy	.	no	one	in	this	movie	can	act	,	including	mark	hamill	,	and	it's	difficult	seeing	the	aged	luke	skywalker	stumble	around	trying	to	be	the	hero	.	the	cheese	factor	is	only	increased	when	he's	involved	in	an	implied	sex	scene	with	the	blond	biologist	geneticist	zoologist	whatever	the	f	k	she's	supposed	to	be	whom	he	befriends	.	mercifully	,	the	filmmakers	opted	not	to	do	nudity	.	to	be	honest	,	the	only	half	convincing	actor	in	the	film	is	the	golden	retriever	who	plays	einstein	.	you	know	a	movie	is	bad	when	a	dog	outacts	all	of	its	human	counterparts	.	i	find	it	difficult	to	relate	how	laughable	the	action	sequences	are	in	this	movie	.	and	the	creature	!	yes	,	the	creature	out	after	poor	einstein	is	some	guy	in	a	furry	suit	and	a	mask	which	poorly	imitates	the	werewolves	in	the	howling	.	this	creature	is	shot	about	500	,	000	times	,	but	it's	okay	.	the	creature	has	the	ability	to	kill	people	by	swinging	his	arms	around	and	pushing	.	oh	,	he	can	also	rip	body	parts	off	,	allowing	for	many	scenes	of	fake	hands	and	arms	being	thrown	around	.	cheesy	gore	.	that's	another	main	element	of	watchers	reborn	.	it	has	many	bloody	scenes	which	are	thoroughly	unconvincing	and	only	increase	the	film's	campiness	rather	than	its	suspense	.	ultimately	,	i	gave	watchers	reborn	a	star	and	a	half	because	bad	horror	sci	fi	film	buffs	may	get	a	few	kicks	out	of	the	film's	silliness	(	though	this	film	will	tax	even	their	patience	it's	an	83	minute	film	,	but	it	feels	like	four	hours	)	.	also	,	i	hate	to	admit	,	i	have	survived	far	worse	than	this	.	anyone	who	has	sat	through	the	christopher	lambert	and	natasha	henstridge	debacle	known	as	adrenalin	:	fear	the	rush	will	know	what	i	mean	.	finally	,	i	couldn't	help	but	think	that	watchers	reborn	would	work	well	as	"	bot	fodder	"	for	the	creative	folks	behind	one	of	my	all	time	favorite	shows	,	"	mystery	science	theater	3000	.	"	this	thought	alone	helped	me	survive	watchers	reborn	with	a	smile	on	my	face	.	rated	r	,	watchers	reborn	contains	dozens	of	blood	spattered	bodies	and	unconvincing	gore	.	it	also	has	violence	,	obviously	.	i	wouldn't	recommend	it	for	the	little	kids	,	but	i'm	sure	even	young	teens	would	make	it	through	this	movie	okay	.	instead	of	watching	this	film	,	however	,	i	recommend	reading	koontz's	book	.	trust	me	,	it'll	be	time	much	,	much	better	spent	.
neg	first	time	writer	director	neil	mansfield	contends	that	art	can	be	found	in	the	everyday	lives	of	ordinary	people	.	he	tries	to	prove	his	theory	with	this	video	diary	following	a	week	in	the	lives	of	three	friends	who	share	a	house	in	the	inner	sydney	suburb	of	marrickville	.	kit	(	nadine	garner	)	shares	the	house	with	her	boyfriend	jack	(	marin	mimica	)	,	a	failed	film	maker	,	and	her	best	friend	e	(	new	comer	bridie	carter	)	,	a	uni	student	who	daily	compiles	her	own	personal	magazine	which	she	distributes	to	her	small	circle	of	friends	.	the	house	is	situated	under	the	airport	flight	path	.	it	is	this	element	that	provides	a	thematic	focus	that	runs	throughout	the	otherwise	fragmented	and	loosely	structured	film	.	this	is	an	area	that	mansfield	knows	well	,	and	the	film	is	enthused	with	a	passion	for	the	back	streets	and	the	residents	of	this	slice	of	suburbia	.	mansfield	is	inspired	by	the	early	films	of	godard	and	the	french	new	wave	,	and	he	tries	to	duplicate	some	of	that	energy	here	.	however	,	not	a	lot	that	is	particularly	interesting	occurs	,	and	this	is	ultimately	a	dull	and	meandering	film	.	some	people	may	find	its	easy	going	style	charming	and	endearing	,	others	will	merely	find	it	dull	.	mansfield	has	coined	a	new	term	to	describe	his	low	budget	semi	autobiographical	film	"	zinema	"	which	suits	its	multi	media	format	.	the	film	combines	the	cut	and	paste	methodology	of	magazines	with	the	flexibility	of	various	different	film	stocks	,	and	still	photography	,	drawings	and	other	objects	that	interest	the	characters	.	despite	the	obvious	passion	displayed	by	mansfield	and	his	crew	,	the	film	itself	is	rather	artlessly	constructed	.	a	couple	of	scenes	use	a	disconcerting	method	of	jump	cut	editing	.	every	line	of	dialogue	in	one	scene	is	obviously	cut	together	from	several	takes	,	and	this	scene	is	symptomatic	of	the	film's	overall	lack	of	rhythm	and	style	.	far	from	a	breath	of	fresh	air	for	contemporary	australian	cinema	,	this	film	comes	across	as	little	more	than	a	below	average	,	low	budget	,	experimental	effort	from	a	film	student	.	fresh	air	lacks	the	charm	and	winning	humour	of	love	and	other	catastrophes	,	another	local	low	budget	film	which	used	a	similar	improvised	approach	,	and	seems	rather	stale	by	comparison	.
neg	starring	:	chris	o'donnell	,	rene	zellwegar	,	artie	lange	,	ed	anser	,	hal	holbrook	,	james	cromwell	,	marley	shelton	,	mariah	carey	.	well	there	goes	another	one	.	sadly	this	like	other	movies	this	year	wasn't	good	.	this	one	being	almost	as	bad	as	'the	omega	code'	but	not	quite	.	from	the	opening	credits	i	had	a	good	feeling	this	would	be	bad	,	and	well	i	guess	i	was	right	.	with	bad	excuses	for	acting	,	a	horrible	screenplay	and	straight	out	bad	direction	'the	bachelor'	is	a	terribly	unfunny	movie	that	doesn't	work	on	any	levels	accept	that	fact	that	rene	zellwegar	who	does	give	a	good	performance	.	the	two	cameos	by	brooke	shields	and	mariah	carey	are	also	good	with	brooke	being	the	best	.	the	movie	is	troubled	from	the	start	because	chris	o'donnell	is	hugely	miscast	and	gives	one	of	the	worst	performances	to	date	.	here	is	the	stupid	plot	:	chris	o'donnell	plays	jimmie	shelton	a	man	who	has	just	broken	up	with	his	girlfriend	,	he	meets	anne	(	rene	zellwegar	)	they	instantly	hit	it	off	and	are	together	for	three	years	.	jimmie	decides	that	he	wants	to	bring	their	relationship	a	little	bit	up	.	he	really	doesn't	realize	that	anne	thinks	he	wants	to	marry	her	(	what	he	wants	i	never	did	catch	)	.	so	he	proposes	in	a	really	bad	way	,	and	she	shoots	him	down	and	is	very	mad	.	he	of	course	tries	to	apologize	but	nothing	seems	to	help	any	.	then	his	grandfather	dies	and	he	learns	that	he	has	left	jimmie	100	million	dollars	.	.	.	.	as	long	as	he	marries	before	the	next	day	at	6	:	05	pm	.	now	jimmie	must	find	anne	and	try	to	marry	her	to	get	the	money	and	because	he	loves	her	,	or	get	married	to	someone	else	to	get	the	money	itself	,	leading	to	an	un	funny	and	predictable	ending	that	leaves	a	bad	taste	in	our	mouths	.	ok	so	maybe	this	could	be	one	of	the	dumbest	,	cliched	,	silliest	romantic	comedy	to	date	that	has	no	real	big	laughs	.	even	the	supporting	roles	of	artie	lange	,	hal	holbrook	and	ed	anser	aren't	even	good	.	the	plot	was	a	good	idea	,	but	the	script	would	have	to	have	been	written	in	less	than	five	minutes	and	by	a	five	year	old	.	the	choppy	dialogue	and	bad	directing	don't	help	things	any	.	even	though	chris	o'donnell	gave	an	ok	performance	in	the	two	batman	movies	,	he	does	not	give	even	a	remotely	good	or	funny	performance	here	and	i	wanted	to	boo	and	throw	my	pop	at	the	screen	to	get	rid	of	him	.	rene	zelweggar	is	a	different	story	and	gave	a	charming	,	sweet	and	likable	performance	(	as	usual	)	and	really	was	the	only	thing	that	saved	this	confused	movie	from	being	a	total	huge	washout	.	her	sister	played	by	marley	shelton	is	also	good	and	the	two	have	good	chemistry	onscreen	.	brooke	shields	showed	up	in	a	funny	little	performance	as	a	big	headed	mogul	who	after	a	while	became	routine	and	old	.	one	really	can't	help	but	think	that	we	have	seen	this	stuff	before	.	it's	not	like	this	is	an	original	idea	and	in	the	end	,	everyone	knows	what	is	going	to	happen	due	do	its	cliches	and	typicalness	.	'the	bachelor'	works	on	no	good	levels	and	in	fact	doesn't	work	at	all	.	ed	anser	and	hal	holbrook	were	wasted	in	terrible	roles	and	mariah	carey	can	not	act	to	save	her	soul	,	and	this	could	be	the	only	film	of	her	movie	career	dispite	her	terrific	music	career	.	chris	o'donnell	is	not	as	bad	an	actor	as	casper	van	dien	but	that	is	not	saying	a	great	deal	.	he	seems	held	back	and	really	doesn't	get	into	his	character	much	and	after	even	the	first	30	minutes	gets	annoying	and	old	.	artie	lange	just	to	me	seems	like	he	is	trying	to	another	chris	farley	and	was	completely	unfunny	and	un	nerving	.	why	the	filmmakers	would	want	to	waste	such	a	cast	in	such	a	bad	movie	,	with	such	bad	acting	and	dialogue	is	a	question	only	they	will	know	.	maybe	they	thought	it	would	become	a	hit	or	a	critical	success	,	and	sometimes	i	don't	agree	with	other	critics	on	movies	,	even	from	the	trailers	for	this	film	they	made	it	look	bad	and	showed	all	the	mildly	funny	parts	.	its	based	on	the	1925	silent	film	'seven	chances'	which	i	am	sure	is	very	better	than	this	mess	.	even	though	some	may	think	of	this	as	a	good	date	movie	,	most	who	see	this	will	want	to	pull	out	thier	hair	and	scream	for	thier	money	back	.	besides	being	a	terrible	movie	,	'the	bachelor'	is	well	a	terrible	movie	.	it	has	nothing	worth	recommending	therefore	i	really	can't	recommend	this	movie	.	i	did	not	have	a	good	time	and	i	laughed	only	three	times	.	the	running	time	of	the	movie	is	106	minutes	which	is	wayyyy	over	time	and	needs	to	be	shortened	at	least	thirty	minutes	.	parts	of	it	seems	to	go	on	forever	and	parts	of	seem	to	not	last	enough	time	.	being	one	of	the	worst	movies	of	the	year	,	we	can	be	sure	that	i	hope	they	will	not	make	anymore	stupid	unfunny	romantic	comedies	,	and	if	they	do	they	i	give	up	on	filmmakers	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	november	13	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
neg	for	more	reviews	and	movie	wallpapers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	separated	,	glamorous	,	hollywood	couple	must	pretend	to	reunite	for	a	press	junket	of	the	last	movie	that	they	ever	shot	together	.	kewl	.	.	.	now	i	only	wish	that	i	could	pretend	never	to	have	seen	this	movie	.	.	.	critique	:	trite	,	unfunny	,	boring	and	a	waste	of	everyone's	talent	.	how	a	premise	with	such	zest	and	bite	can	turn	into	a	movie	that	doesn't	feature	any	chemistry	,	any	real	laughs	,	any	surprises	or	any	spice	is	beyond	me	.	how	julia	roberts	is	used	solely	as	a	"	puppy	dog	"	character	,	puttering	around	in	the	background	while	we	endure	the	complete	bitchiness	of	zeta	jones'	character	,	who	is	not	one	bit	funny	or	romantic	(	two	ideal	ingredients	in	a	"	romantic	comedy	"	)	,	is	also	beyond	me	.	and	why	they	chose	john	cusack	,	a	great	,	quirky	actor	in	his	own	right	,	to	play	the	most	bland	,	uninteresting	and	unfetching	character	(	with	zero	chemistry	with	either	of	his	leads	)	is	further	more	,	beyond	me	.	and	to	anybody	who	decided	that	this	project	was	"	funny	"	enough	to	greenlight	featuring	the	talents	mentioned	above	,	along	with	billy	crystal	,	christopher	walker	,	seth	green	and	stanley	tucci	.	.	.	well	,	what	can	i	say	.	.	.	i	just	don't	have	the	words	.	so	is	this	the	worst	movie	that	i've	seen	all	year	?	no	.	but	it	definitely	sucks	and	it's	basically	because	.	.	.	well	,	it's	just	not	funny	.	and	for	the	record	,	allow	me	to	state	a	few	more	problems	with	it	.	it	starts	off	slow	,	it's	got	no	energy	,	it	doesn't	engage	you	with	any	of	its	characters	(	julia	barely	gets	somewhat	interesting	in	the	film	,	everyone	else	.	.	.	lame	!	)	,	it	utilizes	way	too	many	flashbacks	to	move	the	story	forward	,	it's	utterly	predictable	,	standard	,	routine	,	see	through	and	uninteresting	as	a	plot	and	it	just	sits	there	on	the	screen	,	big	and	ugly	,	waiting	.	.	.	waiting	for	you	to	laugh	or	find	something	in	it	that	is	amusing	.	and	then	hank	azaria	shows	up	.	.	.	aaaaaah	,	the	film's	savior	(	mind	you	,	some	might	be	offended	by	his	exaggeration	of	a	stereotype	,	but	that's	another	story	altogether	)	.	but	when	an	experienced	"	voice	"	actor	upstages	all	of	the	main	stars	in	a	summer	"	blockbuster	"	romantic	comedy	with	an	over	the	top	antonio	banderas	accent	,	damn	dude	.	.	.	your	film's	in	trouble	!	!	rent	this	movie	on	video	just	to	see	what	went	wrong	yourself	.	the	references	to	ricky	ricardo	and	senor	wences	(	huh	!	?	)	,	the	idio	plot	points	like	when	one	of	the	characters	goes	on	the	roof	to	stretch	his	arms	out	and	relax	,	but	everyone	believes	that	he's	going	to	kill	himself	(	hardy	har	har	)	and	the	cheap	way	of	getting	the	audience	to	leave	the	theater	laughing	by	bringing	back	a	ball	sniffing	dog	that	has	no	place	being	in	the	location	at	the	end	of	the	movie	,	well	.	.	.	i	could	go	on	.	but	i	won't	because	i	do	still	respect	all	of	the	actors	in	this	film	and	actually	did	laugh	at	azaria	,	green	and	tucci's	antics	from	time	to	time	(	ironic	,	eh	.	.	.	what	about	the	leads	,	dammit	!	)	and	liked	the	premise	behind	the	film	(	before	i	saw	the	finished	product	,	of	course	)	.	a	dud	all	the	way	around	.	btw	,	all	the	talk	about	this	film	was	that	julia	roberts	was	to	be	in	a	fat	suit	for	one	scene	(	her	character	is	supposed	to	have	lost	60	pounds	)	,	so	when	the	scene	finally	came	,	i	did	get	a	little	excited	about	what	it	might	look	like	and	then	.	.	.	well	,	it	basically	just	looked	like	julia	roberts	in	a	fat	suit	!	ugh	.	i	think	i'm	gonna	start	drinking	again	after	this	lame	ass	movie	.	c'mon	hollywood	,	enough	with	the	crud	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	beautiful	(	1	10	)	my	best	friend's	wedding	(	7	10	)	notting	hill	(	5	10	)	pretty	woman	(	7	10	)	runaway	bride	(	5	10	)	someone	like	you	(	4	10	)	wedding	planner	(	3	10	)	when	harry	met	sally	(	10	10	)	you've	got	mail	(	4	10	)
neg	united	states	,	1998	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	5	29	98	(	wide	)	running	length	:	1	:	26	mpaa	classification	:	pg	13	(	profanity	,	vulgarity	,	brief	nudity	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	1	.	85	:	1	cast	:	chris	farley	,	matthew	perry	,	eugene	levy	,	kevin	dunn	,	david	packer	,	lisa	barbuscia	director	:	christopher	guest	producer	:	denise	di	novi	screenplay	:	mark	nutter	tom	wolfe	boyd	hale	cinematography	:	adam	kimmel	,	kenneth	macmillan	music	:	jeffrey	c	.	j	.	vanston	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	warner	brothers	several	days	after	having	seen	this	movie	,	i'm	still	trying	to	determine	what	director	christopher	guest	,	a	man	whose	sense	of	humor	i	usually	appreciate	,	found	funny	in	either	the	concept	or	the	execution	of	almost	heroes	.	this	is	a	dreadful	motion	picture	a	lowbrow	example	of	period	piece	comedy	with	terrible	production	values	and	an	exceptionally	poor	laughs	to	jokes	ratio	.	there's	a	kind	of	desperation	in	the	movie's	approach	to	humor	that	reveals	the	film	makers'	uncertainty	about	how	entertaining	the	material	is	;	the	manic	style	betrays	itself	as	a	last	ditch	attempt	to	hide	the	flaws	of	a	failed	script	.	the	premise	doesn't	sound	especially	amusing	to	begin	with	almost	heroes	tells	the	tale	of	two	explorers	,	the	effeminate	leslie	edwards	(	matthew	perry	)	and	the	uncouth	bartholomew	hunt	(	chris	farley	)	,	who	are	racing	lewis	and	clark	on	the	trip	to	the	american	northwest	.	edwards	and	hunt	are	accompanied	by	the	kinds	of	weirdoes	we	find	in	road	movies	(	albeit	of	the	early	19th	century	variety	)	,	including	a	frenchman	named	guy	fontenot	who	claims	to	speak	hundreds	of	languages	(	none	of	which	prove	to	be	useful	)	,	a	pretty	indian	maiden	who	turns	into	the	obligatory	love	interest	,	and	a	bizarre	man	who	suffers	a	series	of	debilitating	injuries	.	along	the	way	,	the	intrepid	explorers	encounter	bears	,	bald	eagles	,	aging	native	american	warriors	,	and	a	conquistador	named	hildago	(	kevin	dunn	)	who	raves	about	his	beautiful	hair	.	the	explorers'	trek	takes	them	through	forests	,	across	the	snow	capped	rocky	mountains	,	and	over	a	waterfall	.	this	setup	leads	to	a	lot	of	shouting	,	a	great	deal	of	lunacy	,	and	very	few	laughs	.	farley	engages	in	his	usual	shtick	of	falling	down	and	bellowing	,	but	,	aside	from	an	momentarily	diverting	confrontation	with	an	eagle	,	his	heart	doesn't	seem	to	be	in	it	.	matthew	perry	,	one	of	the	stars	of	tv's	friends	(	who	had	some	modest	success	in	the	romantic	comedy	,	fools	rush	in	)	is	badly	miscast	.	as	a	foil	for	farley	and	an	antidote	to	his	runaway	energy	,	perry	lacks	the	necessary	edge	of	the	proverbial	straight	man	.	i'm	not	a	big	fan	of	david	spade	,	and	i	didn't	like	tommy	boy	,	but	at	least	he	and	farley	worked	well	together	.	as	far	as	the	supporting	players	go	,	none	of	them	makes	more	than	a	fleeting	impression	.	eugene	levy	is	wasted	,	and	kevin	dunn	is	about	as	interesting	here	as	he	is	in	godzilla	.	frankly	,	it's	a	disappointment	to	see	something	this	dumb	and	ugly	come	from	christopher	guest	,	the	brilliant	comic	force	behind	such	films	as	this	is	spinal	tap	,	the	big	picture	,	and	waiting	for	guffman	.	although	guest	gets	the	costumes	right	,	this	nearly	inconsequential	success	is	no	substitute	for	the	weak	script	and	unfunny	execution	.	the	special	effects	,	such	as	they	are	,	are	execrable	.	for	an	example	of	some	really	poor	blue	screen	work	,	look	at	the	scenes	where	the	characters	are	shooting	the	rapids	(	they're	obviously	getting	buckets	of	water	thrown	on	them	)	and	where	farley	is	being	carried	off	by	an	eagle	.	even	though	farley	didn't	have	the	most	stellar	of	acting	careers	,	he	doesn't	deserve	the	kind	of	unfortunate	epitaph	offered	by	almost	heroes	.	while	some	of	the	more	outrageous	attempts	at	humor	may	coax	a	few	guffaws	from	12	year	old	boys	,	the	level	of	comedy	in	almost	heroes	falls	far	below	the	level	of	sophomoric	.	farley	fans	who	see	this	film	as	a	way	to	say	goodbye	should	be	commended	for	their	loyalty	,	since	it	takes	real	stamina	to	stay	seated	for	the	full	running	length	of	this	cinematic	torture	session	.
neg	there	are	so	many	people	that	live	their	lives	wanting	to	become	a	filmmaker	or	do	something	in	the	film	related	business	.	every	year	they	enter	our	nation's	film	schools	with	the	high	hopes	that	they	too	may	one	day	make	a	movie	that	will	be	loved	and	adored	by	millions	,	then	make	a	billion	dollars	,	earn	themselves	a	lifelong	career	,	and	start	dating	a	supermodel	.	but	seriously	,	how	often	does	this	type	of	thing	really	happen	?	20	dates	is	supposed	to	be	a	movie	about	a	guy	that	goes	on	twenty	different	dates	in	la	and	secretly	films	them	to	show	what	real	life	dating	is	like	.	however	,	i	actually	found	the	film	to	be	much	more	of	the	man's	quest	to	make	his	first	ever	hollywood	movie	.	myles	berkowitz	is	an	aspiring	filmmaker	who's	come	up	with	a	brilliant	idea	.	he's	going	to	film	20	dates	with	20	different	women	to	see	what	dating	and	love	is	really	like	,	instead	of	what	we	are	usually	shown	in	the	movies	.	his	first	problem	is	funding	,	on	what	are	supposedly	secretly	taped	conversations	myles	and	elie	samaha	,	who's	forking	over	the	60	,	000	to	make	the	picture	will	only	do	it	if	he	can	hire	actresses	to	go	out	with	him	.	myles	sees	this	as	trying	to	kill	his	artistic	vision	,	but	he's	the	producer	so	sooner	or	later	he	will	have	to	agree	.	as	the	film	(	and	a	restraining	order	from	a	woman	who	didn't	want	to	be	filmed	)	go	by	elie	wants	more	nudity	and	more	sex	in	the	film	and	refuses	to	fund	it	unless	tia	carrere	is	in	the	picture	.	this	troubles	myles	because	he's	just	met	,	elizabeth	,	he's	crazy	for	her	and	she	seems	to	be	marraige	material	.	so	myles	faces	a	choice	,	should	he	finish	the	dates	and	start	his	movie	career	,	or	should	he	stay	with	possibly	the	only	woman	that	he	will	ever	truly	love	?	yawn	.	.	.	for	trying	to	be	edgy	and	interesting	,	and	being	unlike	regular	love	stories	,	this	film	certainly	is	what's	it's	trying	not	to	be	.	none	of	the	dates	myles	takes	out	are	all	that	interesting	and	as	for	myles	himself	,	he's	so	god	dang	self	involved	that	i	hated	him	at	about	the	10	minute	point	.	an	interesting	concept	with	a	bad	result	,	20	dates	gets	1	2	stars	.	the	young	uns	:	strong	language	,	brief	images	of	strippers	in	strip	clubs	,	and	lots	of	talk	about	putting	sex	and	nudity	into	the	picture	make	up	the	most	worrysome	content	.	good	age	:	14	up	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	a
neg	no	way	out	was	billed	as	a	suspense	thriller	along	the	lines	of	hitchcock	.	let's	take	a	look	at	the	dramatic	elements	:	action	?	yes	,	there's	plenty	of	action	:	chase	scenes	in	cars	,	trains	,	and	on	foot	and	one	that	is	predominantly	horizontal	.	acting	?	!	?	!	forget	it	!	there	are	so	many	actors	involved	and	so	much	action	(	i	guess	simple	movement	qualifies	)	that	there	isn't	any	time	for	acting	.	although	there	are	a	few	exceptions	:	will	patton	plays	the	part	of	gene	hackman's	aide	.	his	character	appears	to	be	the	most	rounded	,	or	at	least	the	most	intense	.	his	performance	will	get	some	hollywood	heads	turning	.	he	may	(	should	)	get	an	oscar	nomination	.	kevin	costner	plays	the	lead	as	a	naval	officer	who	performs	a	heroic	deed	and	subsequently	gets	involved	with	the	secretary	of	defense	.	the	only	segment	of	his	acting	that	was	valuable	was	when	he	found	out	about	his	girlfriend's	death	.	costner's	performance	in	the	untouchables	was	far	more	dynamic	.	we	will	no	doubt	be	seeing	more	of	him	.	we	hope	he	will	be	screening	any	future	scripts	more	carefully	.	sean	young	delivers	interesting	insight	to	the	term	"	washington	socialite	.	"	a	very	provocative	role	.	unfortunately	,	susan	appears	to	have	majored	in	"	vaginal	gymnastics	"	at	junior	college	.	gene	hackman	has	taken	on	a	role	that	hardly	suits	his	capabilities	.	his	horror	of	killing	susan	was	the	only	portion	of	his	role	that	stands	out	.	howard	duff	had	a	very	insignificant	role	.	his	was	almost	as	empty	as	gene	hackman's	except	gene	had	10	times	as	much	camera	time	.	the	problem	here	is	that	writing	has	failed	some	very	capable	actors	.	action	(	movement	)	has	taken	over	the	movie	.	there	was	a	lot	of	role	playing	,	but	very	little	in	character	development	.	plot	has	suffered	due	to	logistical	error	.	here	are	some	examples	:	a	door	to	door	search	for	the	elusive	bad	guy	in	the	largest	building	in	the	world	.	oh	.	.	.	that	ought	to	take	a	few	weeks	.	how	about	this	?	the	secretary's	aide	(	who	is	gay	and	is	in	love	with	the	secretary	)	hears	the	secretary	(	right	in	front	of	him	)	decide	to	betray	the	aide	as	the	murderer	of	the	secretary's	girlfriend	.	what	does	the	aide	do	?	he	shoots	himself	!	it	seems	to	me	that	if	one	is	about	to	be	betrayed	by	someone	as	omnipotent	as	the	secretary	of	defense	,	has	a	gun	in	possession	,	and	is	within	range	that	he	would	shoot	the	secretary	.	worst	of	all	,	why	is	it	that	a	man	who	is	paid	cash	for	the	use	of	a	boat	is	found	as	a	witness	and	yet	they	never	question	the	secretary's	limo	driver	?	the	limo	driver	would	have	ended	the	movie	before	the	first	60	boring	minutes	would	have	ended	.	i	give	this	one	1	1	2
pos	lancelot	du	lac	(	lancelot	du	lac	)	(	france	,	1974	)	a	film	review	by	james	kendrick	director	:	robert	bresson	screenwriter	:	robert	bresson	(	based	on	the	epic	poem	by	chretien	de	troyes	)	stars	:	luc	simon	(	lancelot	)	,	laura	duke	condominas	(	queen	guinevere	)	,	vladimir	antolek	oresek	(	king	arthur	)	,	humbert	balsan	(	gawain	)	,	patrick	bernhard	(	modred	)	,	arthur	de	montalembert	(	lionel	)	mpaa	rating	:	not	rate	review	:	(	out	of	)	uncompromising	french	director	robert	bresson's	"	lancelot	of	the	lake	"	achieves	the	exact	opposite	effect	of	sir	thomas	malory's	"	morte	darthur	.	"	instead	of	enshrining	the	legend	of	king	arthur	and	his	knights	of	the	round	table	,	it	dethrones	them	by	revealing	arthur	as	a	weak	,	ineffectual	leader	and	the	knights	as	a	group	of	jealous	,	bickering	men	who	failed	to	live	up	to	the	legends	prescribed	to	them	.	chivalry	has	no	place	in	"	lancelot	of	the	lake	,	"	except	as	that	of	a	dying	ideal	.	bresson	begins	his	tale	as	the	knights	of	the	round	table	are	returning	,	decimated	,	after	failing	merlin's	command	to	retrieve	the	holy	grail	,	the	mystical	cup	that	was	filled	with	christ's	blood	.	bresson	immediately	gives	us	his	impression	of	the	essential	meaning	of	the	grail	quest	:	bloodshed	and	failure	.	the	opening	sequence	is	a	series	of	clumsy	,	disjointed	fights	amongst	anonymous	knights	a	head	is	hacked	off	,	a	stomach	is	impaled	,	a	skull	is	split	open	,	skeletal	remains	hang	from	trees	,	and	burning	bodies	smolder	in	the	ruins	of	a	flaming	house	.	since	the	film	starts	with	camelot	in	near	ruin	,	and	takes	only	an	hour	and	a	half	to	arrive	at	its	inevitable	conclusion	,	it	doesn't	carry	the	grand	,	tragic	resonance	of	other	arthurian	films	.	we	never	get	to	see	camelot	at	the	peak	of	its	power	,	therefore	there	is	no	real	downfall	to	witness	.	but	,	then	again	,	it	is	not	the	name	of	camelot	that	is	evoked	in	the	title	of	the	film	.	rather	,	it	is	lancelot	,	and	bresson	is	more	interested	in	the	internal	battle	within	his	heart	,	than	the	external	downfall	of	a	kingdom	.	lancelot	has	always	been	a	tragic	figure	in	the	arthurian	tales	,	and	bresson	uses	him	as	the	central	figure	to	explore	the	battle	between	the	spirit	and	the	flesh	.	the	greatest	of	all	knights	,	he	was	flawed	only	in	his	love	for	arthur's	wife	,	queen	guinevere	,	and	it	was	that	illicit	affair	that	eventually	caused	the	downfall	of	camelot	.	even	when	lancelot	attempts	to	end	the	affair	with	guinevere	(	laura	duke	condominas	)	,	he	only	finds	himself	falling	back	into	her	arms	against	his	better	judgment	.	he	knows	it	means	the	destruction	of	the	idealized	kingdom	,	but	he	is	powerless	in	his	passion	.	when	sir	mordred	(	patrick	bernhard	)	accuses	lancelot	of	the	affair	,	other	knights	,	including	sir	gawain	(	humbert	balsan	)	spring	to	lancelot's	defense	.	it	is	this	battle	within	the	knights	that	is	the	eventual	undoing	of	the	round	table	;	the	flesh	wins	out	over	the	spirit	,	and	the	consequences	are	dire	.	bresson	is	an	intensely	personal	filmmaker	most	interested	in	the	interiors	of	men's	hearts	and	minds	.	"	lancelot	of	the	lake	"	is	filled	with	his	particular	trademarks	:	a	stripped	down	,	minimalist	style	,	flat	,	expressionless	dialogue	,	and	a	grand	use	of	natural	sounds	in	place	of	music	.	he	uses	background	music	only	twice	in	the	film	,	during	an	opening	narration	segment	and	during	the	opening	credits	.	the	music	here	is	a	heavy	drumbeat	and	accompanying	bagpipes	,	but	the	rest	of	the	film	is	scored	with	natural	sounds	that	punctuate	the	film's	thematic	elements	:	the	incessant	clanking	and	creaking	of	heavy	armor	,	the	neighing	of	horses	,	the	rhythm	of	hooves	beating	down	dirt	roads	,	and	the	natural	chirping	and	whispering	of	the	forest	.	like	most	of	his	other	films	,	bresson	employed	nonprofessional	actors	who	recite	the	dialogue	in	emotionless	,	flat	voices	.	all	the	actors	he	used	in	"	lancelot	of	the	lake	"	had	never	acted	before	,	and	with	the	exception	of	patrick	bernhard	,	they	never	acted	again	.	never	once	do	they	raise	their	voices	or	put	any	emphasis	on	a	given	word	.	instead	of	using	vocal	inflection	,	bresson	strove	to	create	emotion	through	images	.	in	some	ways	,	this	technique	works	;	in	other	ways	,	it	doesn't	.	the	final	montage	of	arthur's	men	battling	each	other	is	quite	marvelous	,	and	the	final	image	of	the	knights	in	shining	armor	reduced	to	a	literal	scrap	pile	sums	up	the	entire	film	in	one	moment	.	however	,	other	times	bresson's	uncompromising	methods	are	distracting	and	questionable	.	for	instance	,	during	an	important	jousting	contest	,	bresson	films	the	majority	of	the	action	so	that	the	only	things	visible	are	the	horses'	legs	.	he	does	this	repeatedly	,	opening	each	shot	with	the	same	few	notes	from	a	bagpipe	and	the	raising	of	a	different	flag	.	while	there	might	be	symbolic	value	in	this	,	the	resulting	experience	of	watching	it	can	be	bothersome	.	nevertheless	,	"	lancelot	of	the	lake	"	is	a	fascinating	cinematic	experience	boldly	made	by	a	master	filmmaker	.	bresson's	style	may	not	be	for	everyone	,	but	one	has	to	respect	his	strength	as	an	artist	.	by	re	evaluating	the	arthurian	legends	and	making	them	his	own	,	he	turns	"	lancelot	of	the	lake	"	into	something	rare	in	modern	cinema	:	a	truly	personal	film	.
pos	director	:	brian	de	palma	writer	:	david	koepp	(	based	on	the	novels	"	carlito's	way	"	and	"	after	hours	"	by	edwin	torres	)	starring	:	al	pacino	,	sean	penn	,	penelope	ann	miller	,	john	leguiziamo	,	luis	guzman	,	john	rebhorn	,	viggio	mortensen	,	jorge	porcel	what's	shocking	about	"	carlito's	way	"	is	how	good	it	is	.	having	gotten	a	bit	of	a	bad	rap	for	not	being	a	big	box	office	hit	like	pacino's	previous	film	,	"	scent	of	a	woman	,	"	and	not	having	as	strong	a	performance	as	he	did	in	that	one	(	he	had	just	won	an	oscar	)	,	"	carlito's	way	"	was	destined	for	underrated	heaven	.	that's	what	it	is	:	an	underrated	gem	of	a	movie	.	and	what	a	shame	because	pacino	and	de	palma	both	do	amazing	jobs	with	it	,	and	turn	it	into	a	great	piece	of	a	pulpy	character	study	.	"	carlito's	way	"	deals	with	,	well	,	carlito	brigante	(	pacino	)	,	a	puerto	rican	ex	drug	kingpin	,	who	gets	out	of	a	long	jailterm	when	his	coke	addicted	,	curly	haired	lawyer	(	sean	penn	)	points	out	a	legal	technicality	.	of	course	,	carlito	was	actually	awoken	in	prison	,	and	has	decided	to	go	straight	,	even	if	he's	really	a	crook	at	heart	.	carlito	,	like	barry	lyndon	,	is	a	man	who	is	trapped	by	fate	at	every	turn	,	and	can't	escape	into	something	he	is	not	.	carlito's	attempts	at	a	clean	,	legal	life	are	thwarted	at	nearly	every	turn	.	when	he	first	gets	out	,	a	friend	of	his	ends	up	leading	him	into	a	big	shoot	out	,	where	he	has	to	kill	a	couple	people	to	survive	.	he's	constantly	getting	bugged	by	the	government	to	see	if	he's	doing	anything	illegal	,	and	his	lawyer	finds	himself	neck	deep	in	a	pile	of	shit	,	needing	him	to	try	and	help	him	out	,	which	includes	him	doing	some	prison	breaking	.	carlito	,	like	ratso	rizzo	,	wants	to	go	to	miami	(	since	,	according	to	film	logic	,	that's	where	it's	at	)	,	but	needs	some	funding	.	being	a	legend	,	he	is	quickly	able	to	get	a	nice	job	running	a	big	dance	club	(	this	is	the	70s	,	by	the	way	,	and	since	some	of	this	takes	place	in	night	clubs	,	we	get	to	hear	all	sorts	of	70s	classics	,	including	several	k	.	c	.	and	the	sunshine	band	tunes	my	personal	favorite	)	.	he	gets	a	bodyguard	(	the	great	luis	guzman	,	at	his	best	)	,	and	is	soon	running	a	pretty	good	business	,	even	if	he's	constantly	attracting	underworld	young	thugs	,	like	benny	blanco	"	from	the	bronx	"	(	john	leguiziamo	)	,	who	is	more	than	once	pointed	out	to	be	a	young	version	of	carlito	.	on	the	other	side	,	the	symbol	of	promise	and	hope	,	is	gail	(	penelope	ann	miller	what	happened	to	her	?	)	,	his	girlfriend	from	before	prison	.	she's	a	goregeous	ballerina	,	and	a	stripper	,	and	soon	carlito	is	trying	to	get	back	with	her	,	and	take	her	with	him	when	he	finally	leaves	for	miami	.	while	this	relationship	is	never	fully	defined	or	anything	,	we	get	a	sense	of	love	between	them	,	and	they	have	some	truly	interesting	scenes	between	them	(	she	never	gives	him	addresses	or	locales	he	always	has	to	track	her	down	)	.	all	of	these	elements	clash	together	at	the	end	,	in	a	brilliantly	executed	,	emotional	climax	,	which	is	inevitable	.	when	i	say	inevitable	,	i	mean	we	see	it	at	the	beginning	and	then	backtrack	,	putting	a	great	spin	on	it	.	sure	,	it's	going	to	eleveate	some	of	the	tension	,	but	it	gives	the	film	a	lot	of	depth	,	as	carlito	is	seen	trapped	by	fate	.	what's	amazing	is	the	big	chase	sequence	(	amazingly	done	by	de	palma	)	has	a	lot	of	tension	and	thrills	.	like	"	apollo	13	,	"	we	know	what's	going	to	happen	,	but	we're	still	thrilled	by	what	happens	in	the	middle	.	it's	also	very	emotional	,	thanks	to	a	great	script	by	david	koepp	,	and	amazing	performances	by	pacino	and	miller	.	de	palma	is	famous	(	or	infamous	)	for	lots	of	violence	in	his	films	.	his	earlier	flim	,	"	scarface	"	(	which	starred	pacino	in	the	lead	)	,	has	a	ton	of	it	,	especially	at	the	end	(	and	a	nasty	chainsaw	scene	towards	the	beginning	which	i'm	still	not	over	)	.	but	de	palma	actually	reigns	in	more	quieter	scenes	.	to	me	,	the	best	scene	in	the	film	is	when	carlito	is	on	top	of	a	building	,	looking	down	into	the	room	where	gail	is	doing	ballet	.	this	is	the	most	brilliantly	done	,	and	most	emotionally	stimulating	scene	in	the	entire	film	,	and	probably	the	best	in	de	palma	film	history	.	with	a	gorgeous	soprano	duet	in	the	background	,	and	rain	pouring	down	onto	a	trashcan	lid	covering	carlito's	head	,	and	a	saddened	,	remorseful	look	on	pacino's	face	,	it's	a	tear	jerker	(	well	,	for	me	,	i	dunno	about	you	.	.	.	)	.	the	acting	from	all	is	great	,	especially	from	the	three	leads	.	pacino	was	panned	for	his	performance	,	chiefly	because	his	accent	wasn't	puerto	rican	enough	and	,	well	,	it	wasn't	as	"	strong	"	as	his	oscar	winning	role	in	"	scent	of	a	woman	.	"	well	,	his	"	scent	of	a	woman	"	performance	was	great	and	all	,	but	it	was	nothing	really	but	,	as	comic	kevin	pollack	said	,	a	"	foghorn	leghorn	impression	.	"	in	"	carlito's	way	,	"	he's	emotional	,	and	strong	,	despite	the	fact	that	he's	remorseful	over	his	entire	lifestyle	,	which	he	cannot	change	.	i	felt	more	for	carlito	brigante	than	i	did	for	the	tango	dancing	,	insult	throwing	blind	guy	in	"	scent	of	a	woman	.	"	as	i	said	,	penelope	ann	miller	is	great	,	and	she	and	pacino	actually	have	very	good	chemistry	.	and	they're	scenes	are	well	written	,	with	some	good	clever	dialogue	which	adds	some	interest	to	an	otherwise	bland	relationship	.	and	sean	penn	is	amazing	as	the	coke	addicted	rat	attorney	.	every	scene	he's	in	,	he	has	great	energy	,	and	even	measures	up	to	the	greatness	that	is	pacino	.	in	smaller	roles	,	john	leguiziamo	and	luis	guzman	are	great	.	"	carlito's	way	"	is	one	of	those	films	which	you	heard	about	briefly	,	but	when	you	finally	watch	it	,	you're	absolutely	blown	away	.	it's	a	wonderful	film	,	a	highly	underrated	little	masterpiece	which	was	shelved	after	it	didn't	do	so	hot	.	but	trust	me	and	check	it	out	.	it's	a	great	little	film	,	and	proof	that	the	residential	critics	and	mass	populus	are	not	always	right	.
pos	six	days	,	seven	nights	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	(	out	of	)	touchstone	1	:	41	1998	pg	13	(	language	,	innuendo	,	violence	)	cast	:	harrison	ford	;	anne	heche	;	david	schwimmer	;	jacqueline	obradors	;	temuera	morrison	;	allison	janney	;	douglas	weston	;	cliff	curtis	;	danny	trejo	director	:	ivan	reitman	screenplay	:	michael	browning	hr	"	six	days	,	seven	nights	"	is	a	summer	movie	that	gets	the	summer	movie	experience	deliciously	right	,	a	commendable	achievement	considering	the	season	thus	far	has	been	littered	with	some	pretty	uneven	fare	.	here's	a	genuinely	fun	fluff	piece	that	knows	it's	fluff	,	recognizes	it's	fluff	and	is	admittedly	proud	to	be	fluff	.	of	course	,	the	casting	of	harrison	ford	in	the	broadly	comedic	lead	role	plays	a	sizeable	part	in	the	movie's	success	;	ford	is	such	a	concentrated	dramatic	actor	that	it's	easy	to	forget	what	a	funny	guy	he	can	be	.	as	his	female	counterpart	,	anne	heche	also	deserves	a	big	pat	on	the	back	for	her	sweet	,	goofily	charismatic	performance	.	the	age	difference	(	ford's	56	,	heche's	29	)	matters	not	these	two	click	in	a	charged	way	that's	hard	to	come	by	.	the	story	is	a	no	brainer	ford	stars	as	gruff	but	loveable	island	aviator	quinn	harris	,	while	heche	is	career	minded	but	loveable	new	york	magazine	editor	robin	monroe	.	robin	,	on	a	tropical	vacation	with	fianc	frank	(	david	schwimmer	)	,	gets	assigned	to	supervise	an	emergency	photo	shoot	in	nearby	tahiti	,	so	she	reluctantly	hires	quinn	to	fly	her	there	.	the	plane	crashes	during	a	terrible	storm	,	and	they	immediately	find	themselves	stuck	in	a	deserted	paradise	with	few	ideas	on	getting	back	to	civilization	.	a	series	of	unpleasant	,	often	hilarious	catastrophes	leaves	little	choice	but	for	both	members	of	this	unlikely	odd	couple	to	fall	for	each	other	.	meanwhile	,	back	at	the	resort	,	frank	is	tempted	himself	by	quinn's	shapely	female	tagalong	(	jacqueline	obradors	)	.	that	subplot	obviously	exists	to	get	us	rooting	for	the	quinn	robin	pairing	,	and	while	it	makes	for	a	few	good	laughs	early	on	,	it	eventually	becomes	a	contrived	distraction	from	the	far	more	engrossing	misadventures	of	quinn	and	robin	.	and	since	the	film	spends	most	of	its	time	with	the	castaways	,	this	flaw	is	only	a	minor	inconvenience	.	director	ivan	reitman	keeps	the	pace	brisk	.	at	a	slim	101	minutes	,	"	six	days	,	seven	nights	"	never	wears	out	its	welcome	,	where	a	lesser	film	could	have	felt	like	it	was	as	long	as	its	title	.	michael	browning's	clever	screenplay	allows	for	plenty	of	notable	one	liners	(	my	favorite	,	taken	in	context	,	is	"	you	mean	_	arrrgh	_	pirates	?	"	)	,	and	though	it	essentially	boils	down	to	one	mishap	after	another	,	they're	all	quite	engaging	.	even	the	movie's	more	"	serious	"	moments	are	played	with	a	wink	.	heche	has	been	under	undeserved	fire	over	whether	or	not	her	private	life	with	ellen	degeneres	would	affect	the	"	believability	"	of	"	six	days	,	seven	nights	"	'	heterosexual	pairing	.	(	so	she's	a	lesbian	.	so	what	.	deal	with	it	.	)	of	course	it	doesn't	,	and	here	,	her	naysayers	are	proved	wrong	in	a	big	way	.	in	fact	,	her	chemistry	with	ford	is	what	really	makes	the	film	click	;	these	opposites	attract	with	the	utmost	,	endearing	electricity	.	at	one	point	,	when	the	two	are	discussing	the	likelihood	of	romantic	interest	,	heche	asks	ford	how	old	he	is	.	after	several	wrong	guesses	(	"	forty	five	?	_	fifty	_	?	"	)	,	he	whispers	his	age	to	her	.	"	you	still	look	good	,	"	heche	stammers	.	"	i	still	_	am	_	good	,	"	ford	replies	.	she's	good	too	,	and	together	,	they	make	"	six	days	,	seven	nights	"	one	memorable	ride	.	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	new	and	improved	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	suggestions	,	please	,	for	the	fourth	movie	in	the	series	.	how	about	'look	who's	talking	back	,	'	in	which	the	audience	gets	its	turn	?	"	roger	ebert	on	"	look	who's	talking	now	"
pos	rating	:	1	2	out	of	8	.	0	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	mel	gibson	(	jerry	fletcher	)	,	julia	roberts	(	alice	sutton	)	,	patrick	stewart	(	dr	.	jonas	)	,	cylk	cozart	(	agent	lowry	)	director	:	richard	donner	certification	:	r	(	usa	)	presumably	for	violence	,	language	,	and	intense	situations	year	of	production	:	1997	i	was	fortunate	enough	to	attend	an	advance	screening	for	the	upcoming	thriller	conspiracy	theory	.	this	was	,	of	course	,	a	big	deal	for	me	because	reviewing	movies	is	basically	just	a	hobby	for	me	and	i	never	get	a	chance	at	something	like	this	.	not	only	did	i	get	to	see	an	advance	screening	,	i	was	able	to	see	an	advance	screening	of	a	very	good	movie	.	the	very	fast	paced	film	stars	mel	gibson	as	jerry	fletcher	,	a	fast	talking	,	witty	,	comical	taxi	driver	in	new	york	city	.	gibson's	performance	is	terrific	,	and	his	character	is	similar	to	that	of	martin	riggs	in	the	lethal	weapon	films	.	gibson	again	teams	up	with	richard	donner	,	as	he	did	in	the	lethal	weapon	films	and	maverick	,	and	this	time	around	,	the	combination	works	even	better	.	the	character	of	jerry	fletcher	is	indeed	unique	.	try	to	imagine	a	toned	downed	version	of	travis	bickle	who	,	this	time	around	,	is	a	jittery	guy	with	knowledge	of	government	conspiracy	cover	ups	.	if	you	can	imagine	that	,	then	you've	basically	got	jerry	fletcher	.	in	many	ways	,	i	was	surprised	by	this	movie	.	to	begin	with	,	i	was	surprised	at	how	good	it	was	.	don't	get	me	wrong	,	it's	not	going	to	be	accepting	any	gold	trophies	next	spring	,	but	it	was	a	very	enjoyable	movie	.	secondly	,	i	was	surprised	at	mel	gibson's	performance	.	he	provided	a	fantastic	performance	.	the	previews	of	this	film	led	me	to	believe	it	was	an	all	out	action	flick	,	which	after	viewing	,	it	was	almost	the	opposite	in	a	certain	sense	.	gibson's	character	has	an	almost	uncountable	number	of	one	liners	,	hilarious	situations	,	and	his	character	is	one	that	the	audience	tends	to	side	with	throughout	the	film	.	for	instance	,	jerry's	apartment	(	and	especially	his	security	)	is	memorable	.	and	last	,	i	was	surprised	at	how	good	the	plot	is	.	writer	brian	helgeland	has	created	a	terrific	story	,	and	when	watching	this	film	,	you	are	left	to	wonder	if	all	of	jerry	fletcher's	far	fetched	(	or	so	they	seem	at	first	)	conspiracy	theories	are	helgeland's	own	opinions	.	mel	gibson	isn't	the	only	stand	out	in	the	film	.	julia	roberts	is	very	good	in	her	performance	as	alice	sutton	,	the	department	of	justice	employee	who	can't	seem	to	stay	away	from	jerry	fletcher	,	who	continually	visits	alice	in	hopes	that	she	will	do	something	about	his	theories	.	he	also	seems	obsessed	and	in	love	with	her	.	but	whenever	he	approaches	her	with	another	one	of	his	theories	,	she	shrugs	him	and	his	beliefs	off	,	continually	noting	that	one	day	she	is	going	to	slap	a	restraining	order	on	him	.	jerry	,	obviously	determined	to	continually	seek	out	the	truth	,	continues	to	research	information	for	his	next	conspiracy	theory	,	which	will	be	printed	in	his	newsletter	(	same	title	as	the	movie	)	.	although	he	only	has	five	subscribers	,	he	puts	a	large	amount	of	time	and	effort	into	his	work	,	and	publishes	his	next	edition	.	very	soon	after	he	does	so	,	he	is	abducted	and	tortured	by	a	sinister	man	who	refers	to	himself	as	dr	.	jonas	(	patrick	stewart	)	.	after	barely	escaping	alive	,	jerry	is	forced	to	turn	to	the	only	person	he	can	trust	:	alice	sutton	.	the	remainder	of	the	film	is	almost	always	fast	paced	and	full	of	action	and	suspense	,	with	jerry's	life	being	constantly	put	into	jeopardy	.	and	more	along	the	way	,	the	audience	(	and	alice	)	learn	more	and	more	about	jerry's	life	.	many	things	are	explained	throughout	this	film	,	both	to	the	characters	and	to	the	audience	.	for	instance	,	the	meaning	of	the	book	"	the	catcher	in	the	rye	"	and	its	ties	to	assassins	,	the	reason	lone	gunmen	have	three	names	(	e	.	g	.	lee	harvey	oswald	and	james	earl	ray	)	,	and	the	real	truth	behind	the	grateful	dead	.	make	sure	listen	closely	throughout	the	film	,	as	jerry	is	constantly	throwing	out	interesting	tidbits	such	as	the	above	.	definitely	,	when	conspiracy	theory	hits	theaters	august	8th	,	make	sure	you	are	standing	in	line	to	see	it	.	i	am	nearly	positive	everyone	should	enjoy	this	film	,	especially	if	you	are	into	an	action	thriller	with	witty	dialogue	and	numerous	suspenseful	situations	.	and	even	if	you	aren't	,	you	should	still	like	this	film	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	all	great	things	come	to	an	end	,	and	the	dot	com	era	embodies	that	perfectly	.	beneath	a	mound	of	bankruptcy	paperwork	lies	the	remains	of	a	former	dot	com	darling	,	the	company	kozmo	.	com	,	an	online	convenience	store	stocked	with	ice	cream	,	porn	videos	,	and	other	basic	necessities	of	a	urban	dweller	,	all	hand	delivered	by	couriers	within	an	hour	.	designed	in	1997	by	two	college	roommates	joseph	parks	,	a	27	year	old	goldman	sachs	banker	,	and	yong	kang	kozmo	flamed	out	in	three	short	years	,	raising	more	than	280	million	in	venture	capital	funding	and	from	partnerships	with	such	bigwigs	as	starbucks	and	amazon	.	com	.	by	december	1999	,	the	company	boasted	4	,	000	employees	in	11	cities	,	its	barking	ceo	park	attracting	all	kinds	of	media	attention	.	the	company	was	set	for	an	ipo	in	may	2000	.	.	.	until	april	14	,	2000	,	the	day	the	stock	market	took	its	first	big	dive	,	ending	the	internet	era	.	by	april	13	,	2001	,	kozmo	was	out	of	money	and	ceased	operations	.	unlike	the	earlier	,	similar	documentary	startup	.	com	,	which	chronicled	the	rise	and	fall	of	another	dot	com	,	govworks	,	e	dreams	focuses	both	on	its	original	founders	,	especially	park	,	and	on	the	common	folks	that	ran	the	day	to	day	operations	.	the	contrast	is	amazing	,	showing	how	a	cult	persona	can	convince	anyone	that	any	idea	is	the	next	big	thing	.	the	film's	director	,	wonsuk	chin	(	too	tired	to	die	)	,	expertly	juxtaposes	upper	management	company	meetings	with	on	the	spot	interviews	with	the	bike	messengers	,	general	managers	,	and	floor	staff	that	kept	kozmo	humming	.	the	film's	images	give	a	backbone	to	the	company	and	provide	an	emotional	edge	to	its	ultimate	demise	.	the	most	satisfying	part	of	the	film	comes	in	understanding	,	to	a	degree	,	the	expectations	of	numerous	ceos	commanding	these	titanic	type	businesses	.	in	the	film's	final	interviews	with	park	,	we	learn	what	happens	when	the	money	dries	up	and	backers	don't	return	phone	calls	.	in	the	end	,	the	name	of	the	game	was	profit	,	and	if	you	couldn't	make	money	,	even	the	dreamers	got	the	axe	.	screened	at	the	24th	annual	mill	valley	film	festival	.
pos	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	norm	schrager	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	06577663ed95e8618825695d00660958	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	06577663ed95e8618825695d00660958	?	opendocument	a	i'm	usually	a	sucker	for	a	disney	movie	.	blessed	art	thou	,	screened	at	the	boston	film	festival	,	is	a	disney	movie	of	sorts	,	but	this	ain't	no	little	mermaid	.	the	only	disney	involved	here	is	tim	disney	,	writer	director	of	this	tale	of	theology	,	faith	,	and	the	sexes	.	the	plot	alone	could	make	his	great	uncle	walt	thaw	out	,	and	this	live	action	film	as	a	whole	is	appealing	,	gentle	,	and	hopeful	,	despite	its	weaknesses	.	at	a	quiet	monastery	on	a	vineyard	,	brother	anselm	(	m	.	e	.	hackett	)	claims	to	have	witnessed	a	true	miracle	.	he	purports	to	have	seen	the	angel	gabriel	himself	descend	to	earth	and	initiate	a	sort	of	"	connection	"	with	anselm	,	one	that	disney	smartly	keeps	vague	.	there's	further	confusion	in	that	disney	actually	shows	us	the	encounter	,	a	strangely	homoerotic	visual	that	might	have	worked	well	in	a	dream	sequence	in	the	village	people's	can't	stop	the	music	.	toss	in	the	brother's	androgynous	look	,	and	blessed	art	thou	is	an	exciting	little	mystery	right	from	act	one	.	the	older	,	superior	brothers	(	played	by	a	crew	of	character	actors	led	by	bernard	hill	,	captain	smith	in	titanic	)	question	anselm's	reports	.	but	then	anselm's	meeting	with	gabriel	seems	to	motivate	another	,	well	,	miracle	.	some	reviewers	have	chosen	to	give	this	one	away	,	but	i	do	believe	the	plot	point	to	be	a	spoiler	,	so	i	won't	.	it's	enough	to	say	that	it	tests	the	faith	of	every	member	of	the	small	order	,	in	one	way	or	another	,	and	creates	infighting	within	the	previously	peaceful	monastery	.	disney	,	working	from	a	story	by	rachel	ingalls	,	does	a	fine	job	giving	the	narrative	its	due	time	to	evolve	and	develop	,	but	the	script	peters	out	where	it	counts	the	most	at	the	end	.	the	big	finale	that	we	hope	we'll	get	doesn't	have	the	passion	and	humility	of	the	rest	of	the	film	,	and	it	wraps	too	abruptly	.	but	disney's	first	effort	(	he	is	credited	,	by	the	way	,	as	a	contributing	writer	to	1988's	oliver	and	company	)	is	filled	with	pleasing	details	that	of	a	monk's	life	,	of	the	workings	of	a	vineyard	,	of	the	conversations	that	emerge	between	two	men	who	have	different	interpretations	of	faith	.	that	kind	of	attention	makes	a	small	project	like	this	an	entertaining	endeavor	.	(	perhaps	the	biggest	kick	i	got	out	of	a	film	with	such	a	sweet	religious	bent	was	that	it	was	playing	two	doors	down	from	the	exorcist	.	)	the	director	also	works	in	an	editorial	of	his	own	,	commenting	on	the	politics	of	such	a	place	,	where	a	person	of	free	will	may	join	for	the	love	of	god	,	but	is	given	commands	by	a	higher	ranking	human	.	visually	,	there	is	a	strong	connection	through	disney's	lens	between	the	cell	of	a	monastery	and	a	prison	cell	.	but	for	all	the	heavy	commentary	,	it's	surprising	how	light	and	easy	blessed	art	thou	feels	.	depending	upon	your	point	of	view	,	that	could	be	a	strength	or	a	weakness	,	but	at	a	minimum	,	i	expected	a	bit	more	punch	at	the	finish	.	the	film	doesn't	necessarily	demand	your	90	minutes	in	a	theater	,	but	,	for	a	thoughtful	,	eyebrow	raising	story	,	it	works	.	you	may	now	return	to	associating	the	disney	name	with	plush	toys	.
pos	moulin	rouge	(	2001	)	nicole	kidman	,	ewan	mcgregor	,	john	leguizamo	,	jim	broadbent	,	richard	roxburgh	.	cinematography	by	donald	mcalpine	.	music	by	craig	armstrong	,	marius	de	vries	and	steve	hitchcock	.	screenplay	by	baz	luhrmann	and	craig	pearce	.	directed	by	baz	luhrmann	.	126	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	4	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	after	the	press	screening	of	"	moulin	rouge	,	"	i	stood	in	the	lobby	of	the	theater	listening	to	the	reactions	of	my	friends	and	colleagues	.	everyone	seemed	a	bit	numb	,	understandable	after	sitting	through	a	barrage	of	often	incongruous	sounds	and	images	.	a	pal	of	mine	simply	said	that	he	loved	the	film	and	could	hardly	wait	to	take	his	wife	to	see	it	.	another	enthusiast	immediately	began	to	analyze	the	production	,	while	a	woman	who	flat	out	hated	the	movie	gave	him	the	skunk	eye	.	when	one	fellow	quietly	stated	"	i've	never	really	been	a	fan	of	musicals	,	"	the	statement	surprised	me	because	,	even	though	the	story	is	told	almost	completely	through	song	,	i	didn't	think	of	it	as	a	musical	.	there	is	so	much	going	on	in	"	moulin	rouge	"	that	"	musical	"	seems	too	small	a	term	to	cover	it	.	"	moulin	rouge	"	is	the	kind	of	creation	that	sends	critics	scurrying	off	to	the	big	tub	o'	adjectives	in	search	of	proper	words	to	describe	the	experience	.	australian	director	baz	luhrmann	,	the	man	behind	"	strictly	ballroom	"	and	"	romeo	juliet	,	"	fills	the	heads	of	viewers	with	unique	camerawork	,	opulent	imagery	and	songs	ranging	from	"	the	sound	of	music	"	to	"	smells	like	teen	spirit	.	"	sumptuous	and	beautiful	,	vulgar	and	overdone	,	"	moulin	rogue	"	travels	through	the	looking	glass	while	an	ethereal	stereo	loaded	with	50	years	worth	of	catchy	tunes	operates	on	the	"	random	"	setting	.
pos	i	seem	to	be	in	a	minority	of	one	,	but	chris	tucker's	outrageous	mannerisms	are	beginning	to	grow	on	me	.	when	he	appeared	in	the	fifth	element	as	an	over	the	top	radio	dj	,	my	senses	misfired	:	my	brain	wasn't	properly	able	to	compute	what	i	was	seeing	until	i	relaxed	and	had	a	good	time	.	the	same	thing	applies	to	rush	hour	,	a	sprightly	cop	buddy	movie	that	works	by	being	cheerful	and	engaging	instead	of	cruel	and	mean	spirited	.	don't	expect	it	to	be	an	immortal	piece	of	cinema	,	and	you'll	be	fine	.	it	is	also	the	best	of	the	jackie	chan	vehicles	to	be	produced	in	english	so	far	it	outstrips	mr	.	nice	guy	by	a	fair	margin	,	since	that	movie	was	little	more	than	a	weak	clothesline	for	various	action	pieces	.	rush	hour	is	funner	and	more	sustained	,	and	puts	chan	up	against	someone	who	is	a	terrific	foil	.	the	plot	is	standard	issue	.	a	chinese	diplomat's	daughter	is	kidnapped	by	a	gang	of	criminals	.	the	diplomat	wants	to	enlist	the	help	of	lee	,	an	old	cop	friend	of	his	from	pre	1998	hong	kong	days	.	the	fbi	refuses	to	allow	this	,	so	they	have	the	lapd	send	over	one	of	their	own	to	"	distract	"	him	.	carter	(	tucker	)	catches	on	fast	to	the	sleazy	runaround	he's	been	given	,	and	tells	lee	off	:	he	doesn't	want	to	babysit	a	cop	;	he	wants	to	go	out	there	and	find	these	slimeballs	.	funny	thing	is	,	lee	feels	the	same	way	,	and	before	you	know	it	,	they're	up	to	their	elbows	in	suspects	and	explosives	.	all	of	this	is	,	of	course	,	sustained	and	interleaved	with	tucker's	wild	man	motormouthing	(	which	gets	funnier	and	funnier	the	more	you	watch	it	)	and	jackie's	typically	remarkable	stuntwork	.	what	makes	all	of	this	stand	out	is	primarily	the	tone	and	attitude	.	most	movies	in	this	genre	tend	to	be	cold	blooded	and	unpleasant	;	this	one's	very	much	a	romp	,	with	good	timing	and	pacing	,	and	a	lot	of	good	laughs	.	i'm	betting	jackie	himself	is	the	main	reason	for	that	,	since	he's	professed	repeatedly	that	he	wants	to	make	more	family	oriented	movies	rather	than	john	woo	style	blast	fests	.	barely	anyone	gets	shot	,	and	most	of	the	martial	arts	stunts	are	about	timing	,	object	juggling	,	or	three	stooges	style	slapstick	.	(	there	is	one	stunt	involving	an	antique	vase	that's	vintage	jackie	although	the	way	the	stunt	climaxes	is	a	bit	of	a	cheat	.	)	there	is	also	the	byplay	between	chan	and	tucker	,	much	of	which	seems	improvised	(	or	at	least	minimally	scripted	)	.	at	one	point	during	a	stakeout	,	edwin	starr's	"	war	"	comes	on	the	radio	,	and	jackie	attempts	to	sing	along	only	to	have	tucker	coach	him	on	how	to	sing	with	soul	.	in	turn	,	jackie	teaches	tucker	how	to	do	the	snatch	the	other	guy's	gun	trick	(	and	the	payoff	for	that	gag	is	a	howl	)	.	my	main	criterion	for	a	comedy	is	simple	:	did	i	laugh	?	i	walked	into	rush	hour	in	a	terrible	mood	,	and	laughed	all	the	way	through	.	i	don't	think	you	can	reasonably	expect	much	more	than	that	.
pos	starring	antonio	banderas	and	sir	anthony	hopkins	.	directed	by	martin	campbell	.	running	time	:	2	hours	15	minutes	swashbuckling	adventure	that	can	be	enjoyed	by	both	children	and	adults	.	steven	spielberg	may	not	have	directed	(	he	only	executive	produced	)	but	his	touch	certainly	is	evident	in	this	movie	.	and	he	knows	a	money	making	winner	when	he	sees	one	.	the	mask	of	zorro	has	the	hallmarks	of	a	blockbuster	:	big	action	,	funny	comedy	,	and	the	pacing	of	a	rollercoaster	.	hopkins	plays	don	diego	de	la	vega	,	otherwise	known	as	zorro	.	a	fighter	for	the	people	,	he	is	eventually	captured	by	don	rafael	montero	(	stuart	wilson	)	,	who	also	,	unintentionally	,	kills	his	wife	.	the	film	cuts	to	twenty	years	later	,	where	vega	still	wants	to	montero	dead	.	however	,	he's	far	too	old	now	,	and	trains	up	thief	alejandro	murrieta	(	banderas	)	to	become	the	new	zorro	.	banderas	motive	?	to	avenge	the	death	of	his	brother	,	who	was	killed	at	the	hands	of	captain	love	(	matthew	letscher	)	who	rather	tastefully	keeps	the	head	in	a	jar	,	in	one	of	the	more	graphic	scenes	in	this	family	movie	.	with	the	scene	set	,	the	movie	goes	on	full	blast	,	with	sword	fights	a	plenty	and	witty	one	liners	.	banderas	and	hopkins	have	a	marvellous	chemistry	as	the	two	zorro's	,	playing	each	other	off	with	ease	.	hopkins	seems	to	come	off	a	little	better	,	but	banderas	does	some	excellent	work	.	as	the	bad	guys	,	wilson	and	letscher	seem	one	dimensional	,	but	they	go	through	the	bad	guy	shtick	in	an	above	average	way	.	the	audience	does	hate	them	,	which	can't	be	bad	.	catherine	zeta	jones	also	pops	up	as	hopkins	daughter	,	and	although	she	provides	little	more	than	the	usual	female	lead	,	she	delivers	a	charming	,	but	one	note	,	performance	.	the	chemistry	is	excellent	between	banderas	and	jones	.	there's	a	delightful	little	scene	where	banderas	and	jones	have	a	sword	fight	,	and	every	swipe	an	item	of	clothing	gets	slashed	,	until	jones	clothes	fall	off	all	together	.	the	director	,	fresh	from	the	enjoyable	goldeneye	(	1995	)	handles	the	film	perfectly	.	the	action	is	well	done	and	fast	paced	,	the	comedy	put	across	well	.	the	cast	help	a	lot	,	but	the	direction	is	still	outstanding	.	although	the	film	is	very	long	,	the	plot	keeps	chugging	along	,	and	there's	barely	a	dull	moment	.	however	,	the	film	is	a	little	over	indulgent	,	and	it	could	have	been	trimmed	.	it	manages	to	hold	the	attention	,	thankfully	,	and	the	adventure	and	charm	holds	right	up	to	the	last	reel	.	screenwriters	john	eskow	,	ted	elliot	and	terry	rosio	have	unfortunately	written	an	cliched	and	one	dimensional	script	.	although	they've	bought	zorro	up	to	date	with	big	explosions	and	wild	action	,	the	plot	itself	is	barely	existent	.	there's	lots	of	little	sub	plots	hanging	around	,	but	there's	nothing	substantial	to	bring	them	all	together	.	the	main	story	seems	to	be	the	fact	that	rafael	wants	to	'buy'	california	using	gold	stolen	from	the	guy	he's	buying	the	land	off	.	this	sets	up	for	a	temple	of	doom	type	plot	where	we	see	peasants	slave	driven	into	getting	the	gold	from	little	mines	.	however	,	this	doesn't	seem	to	appear	until	nearly	over	a	hour	into	the	film	,	so	the	film	is	never	quite	sure	where	it's	going	.	in	the	end	however	,	zorro	provides	action	and	comedy	in	spades	.	it	suitable	for	everyone	,	so	put	the	guilt	behind	,	and	put	some	more	money	into	spielbergs	bank	account	.	you	won't	regret	it	.
pos	in	_	daylight	_	,	sylvester	stallone	breaks	no	new	ground	,	cinematically	speaking	,	but	he	covers	familiar	territory	quite	well	.	yesterday	,	as	i	was	going	about	my	business	in	the	university	bookstore	,	i	noticed	this	stand	with	these	_	daylight	_	movie	posters	on	it	.	i	had	never	heard	of	the	movie	,	so	i	stopped	by	to	check	it	out	.	it	turned	out	that	they	were	giving	away	free	passes	to	the	movie	for	people	who	had	or	applied	for	the	credit	card	they	were	offering	.	so	,	i	shrugged	,	thought	,	"	hey	,	they	probably	won't	give	me	the	card	anyway	,	and	i	could	always	use	a	free	movie	,	"	so	i	signed	up	.	all	in	all	,	i	don't	think	i	got	that	bad	of	a	deal	,	either	.	rob	cohen	,	who	has	previously	brought	us	such	films	as	_	dragon	:	the	bruce	lee	story	_	and	,	more	recently	,	_	dragonheart	_	(	gee	,	i	wonder	if	he	likes	dragons	for	some	reason	?	you	think	?	)	,	now	brings	us	a	very	nicely	executed	disaster	picture	,	with	fx	by	industrial	light	and	magic	,	about	the	after	effects	of	an	explosion	that	collapses	a	busy	tunnel	between	new	york	and	new	jersey	.	sylvester	stallone	plays	kit	latura	,	who	is	essentially	a	carbon	copy	of	the	character	he	played	in	_	cliffhanger	_	:	a	paramedic	on	the	outs	because	he	made	a	mistake	that	got	people	killed	.	when	the	crisis	hits	,	he	is	in	the	right	place	at	the	right	time	and	takes	it	upon	himself	to	go	in	and	get	everybody	out	.	there	are	other	similarities	to	_	cliffhanger	_	,	too	;	perhaps	the	only	real	difference	is	that	_	cliffhanger	_	had	a	villain	,	where	_	daylight	_	's	bad	guy	is	mother	nature	.	in	fact	,	had	the	two	movies	been	made	in	hong	kong	,	this	might	have	been	titled	_	cliffhanger	ii	_	it	bears	the	same	relationship	to	that	film	that	most	hk	film	"	sequels	"	do	to	their	predecessors	.	the	first	half	hour	of	_	daylight	_	is	setup	.	subplots	are	woven	,	and	the	mechanism	of	the	disaster	is	assembled	.	we	meet	all	the	important	people	.	.	.	toxic	waste	disposal	truck	drivers	;	a	young	,	frustrated	,	jilted	,	rejected	playwright	;	a	family	struggling	to	stay	together	;	an	older	couple	and	their	dog	;	a	truckload	of	prisoners	;	an	ad	agency	executive	;	a	tunnel	police	officer	;	stallone	;	and	others	.	we	watch	the	trucks	trundle	toward	their	destination	;	we	watch	stallone	and	so	many	others	driving	toward	the	tunnel	for	their	various	reasons	.	and	then	,	thirty	minutes	into	the	film	,	_	boom	_	.	and	it's	a	big	one	.	from	there	on	in	,	it's	sly	stallone	to	the	rescue	.	and	rescue	he	does	,	enduring	batterings	,	beatings	,	falls	,	repeated	immersion	in	34	degree	water	,	explosions	,	mud	,	rats	,	and	constant	setbacks	,	before	going	on	to	save	the	day	,	sly	style	.	again	.	.	.	there's	nothing	new	here	.	and	yet	there	doesn't	need	to	be	.	the	fun	of	_	daylight	_	is	not	in	the	story	but	in	the	execution	.	the	special	effects	are	first	rate	,	thanks	to	industrial	light	and	magic	,	and	the	ensemble	cast	works	well	together	.	once	the	film	hits	its	stride	,	it	carries	the	viewer	right	along	to	the	finish	,	with	very	few	jars	along	the	way	.	this	review	is	copyright	1996	by	christopher	e	.	meadows	.	permission	granted	for	distribution	through	rec	.	arts	.	movies	.	reviews	and	all	associated	archival	.	permission	granted	for	free	redistribution	via	cyberspace	as	long	as	this	message	remains	attached	.	all	other	rights	reserved	to	the	author	.	chris	meadows	aka	author	,	team	m	.	e	.	c	.	h	.	a	.	,	crapshoot	co	.	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	jurai	.	net	"	robotech	jurai	.	net	a	with	a	world	wide	web	homepage	located	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	eyrie	.	org	"	robotech	eyrie	.	org	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jurai	.	net	robotech	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	jurai	.	net	robotech	index	.	html	a
pos	capsule	:	this	is	a	harrowing	look	at	a	rarely	dramatized	chapter	of	wwii	,	life	in	a	japanese	prison	camp	.	to	end	all	wars	is	a	moving	film	about	the	struggle	of	prisoners	to	retain	their	humanity	and	their	dignity	.	the	somewhat	religious	interpretation	may	not	be	to	everyone's	taste	.	rating	:	9	(	0	to	10	)	,	3	(	4	to	4	)	more	than	any	other	people	the	japanese	seem	capable	of	acting	with	one	goal	and	not	letting	any	other	consideration	get	in	their	way	.	this	may	be	a	holdover	from	the	code	of	bushido	when	loyalty	to	ones	master	was	the	only	law	.	during	world	war	ii	,	of	course	,	the	one	goal	was	winning	the	war	.	this	led	them	to	do	some	very	inhuman	things	in	pursuit	of	that	goal	.	when	the	japanese	had	captured	prisoners	,	they	were	very	much	treated	in	whatever	way	would	be	optimum	for	achieving	the	one	goal	.	minimum	resources	were	to	be	spent	in	maintaining	prisoners	in	keeping	with	maximal	positive	output	.	while	the	germans	,	not	known	for	their	kindness	in	those	days	,	had	a	6	mortality	rate	among	captured	prisoners	of	war	,	the	mortality	rate	of	japanese	prisoners	of	war	was	27	.	the	best	thing	for	the	war	effort	was	working	prisoners	nearly	to	death	on	the	thailand	to	burma	railroad	.	that	railroad	was	needed	if	japan	was	to	attack	india	as	it	planned	to	do	.	the	best	thing	for	the	effort	was	not	to	waste	much	food	on	the	prisoners	so	short	and	amazingly	wretched	food	was	the	order	of	the	day	.	and	just	being	in	the	jungle	without	proper	medical	aid	took	its	toll	.	in	the	public	mind	japan	has	never	been	held	as	accountable	for	war	atrocities	as	was	germany	.	filmmakers	have	been	reticent	to	tell	the	story	,	perhaps	for	fear	of	offending	the	japanese	.	there	are	comparatively	few	films	about	the	japanese	pow	camps	.	certainly	there	was	david	lean's	the	bridge	on	the	river	kwai	.	there	were	some	low	budget	british	exploitation	films	and	that	was	about	it	.	then	there	were	tv	series	"	a	town	like	alice	"	and	"	tenko	.	"	lest	the	experience	be	forgotten	we	have	a	new	film	to	end	all	wars	directed	by	david	cunningham	and	written	by	brian	godawa	.	it	is	based	on	the	account	of	ernest	gordan	who	survived	the	horror	of	that	world	war	ii	prison	camp	and	went	on	to	become	for	26	years	the	dean	of	the	chapel	at	princeton	university	.	the	film	while	realistic	shows	the	conditions	in	the	camp	as	being	considerably	more	brutal	and	sadistic	than	bridge	on	the	river	kwai	portrayed	them	.	the	story	opens	with	six	or	so	soldiers	being	marched	into	the	prison	camp	only	to	be	immediately	placed	in	front	of	a	firing	squad	.	it	turns	out	to	be	a	grim	joke	,	one	of	many	that	the	sadistic	japanese	play	to	amuse	themselves	.	beating	and	torture	are	commonplace	events	.	men	already	imprisoned	tell	the	new	arrivals	to	enjoy	the	last	of	their	health	;	it	will	not	last	long	with	parasites	and	disease	almost	inevitable	.	however	,	unlike	as	in	kwai	,	the	prisoners	want	to	avoid	going	to	the	hospital	,	called	by	the	prisoners	the	death	house	.	so	goes	a	war	within	a	war	with	the	prisoners	trying	to	maintain	their	humanity	and	with	the	japanese	trying	to	make	them	interchangeable	and	highly	expendable	cogs	in	a	rail	laying	machine	.	this	is	more	than	just	a	battle	of	who	will	win	the	war	but	a	battle	of	ideologies	.	the	japanese	believe	that	the	individual	is	nothing	,	that	conformity	to	group's	norms	is	all	that	gives	a	life	meaning	.	conformity	is	purpose	.	before	the	film	is	over	there	will	be	some	surprising	revelations	about	the	character	of	the	prisoners	and	the	character	of	those	running	the	camp	.	if	this	story	showed	nothing	but	sadism	from	the	japanese	it	would	be	one	kind	of	story	.	if	the	british	(	with	one	american	,	by	the	way	)	and	the	japanese	learned	to	respect	each	other	it	would	be	another	kind	of	story	.	it	is	neither	.	it	is	a	stirring	and	believable	account	of	camp	life	.	the	color	has	been	distorted	in	the	film	to	give	a	washed	out	yellow	.	this	serves	a	double	purpose	for	cunningham	.	it	gives	an	effect	of	technicolor	film	that	has	been	left	in	heat	.	it	also	creates	a	distancing	effect	.	the	only	touch	that	seems	a	little	out	of	place	is	the	use	of	gaelic	music	.	this	is	a	powerful	and	philosophical	view	of	the	prison	camp	experience	.	i	rate	it	a	9	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	3	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
pos	starring	:	anthony	hopkins	,	alec	baldwin	,	harold	perrineau	,	elle	macphersoni	swear	i	have	seen	the	edge	before	.	in	fact	,	it	reminded	me	of	the	bear	,	the	river	wild	,	and	other	various	films	mixed	into	an	entirely	different	film	.	however	,	the	edge	has	done	something	that	most	action	films	should	do	,	and	that	is	add	heart	and	characters	we	like	to	the	plot	.	in	doing	so	,	the	edge	draws	many	more	suspenseful	moments	out	of	cliched	scenes	than	,	say	,	the	peacemaker	.	unfortunately	,	because	of	those	overused	moments	,	we	can	pretty	much	guess	the	outcome	of	the	film	.	but	leave	it	to	screenwriter	david	mamet	to	add	humor	and	a	few	surprises	to	mess	with	your	head	.	one	surprise	,	in	particular	,	left	me	smiling	just	because	mamet	actually	had	the	guts	to	add	it	to	his	script	.	action	films	are	a	dime	a	dozen	in	hollywood	,	and	while	they	are	somewhat	successful	at	entertaining	us	,	they	lack	the	one	thing	which	would	make	them	a	more	respected	genre	:	intelligence	.	even	horror	films	have	learned	this	,	a	genre	which	is	probably	the	least	respected	of	them	all	.	the	river	wild	was	one	of	the	best	action	suspense	films	i	have	seen	from	the	90s	.	the	intelligence	of	the	screenplay	,	and	the	suspense	drawn	from	the	realistic	characters	is	nearly	unmatched	to	this	day	.	the	edge	has	the	intelligence	and	smart	characters	,	but	this	time	the	lack	of	originality	is	the	downfall	.	i	must	admit	that	it	was	very	suspenseful	,	and	had	an	original	third	half	,	but	the	first	hour	and	a	half	is	riddled	with	cliches	and	plot	holes	.	this	is	an	example	of	the	final	act	saving	the	film	,	instead	of	the	other	way	around	(	as	in	the	lost	world	)	.	if	only	the	screenplay	had	maintained	the	final	thirty	minutes'	intensity	,	it	could	have	become	a	great	action	film	(	and	i	use	the	term	loosely	)	.	the	edge	is	pretty	much	a	survival	of	the	fittest	film	.	but	taking	scream's	lead	,	the	edge	makes	fun	of	the	genre's	cliches	,	and	then	uses	them	(	though	not	quite	as	effectively	)	.	charles	morse	(	anthony	hopkins	)	is	the	main	character	,	a	rich	and	very	intelligent	man	who	wonders	what	the	accumulation	of	all	this	knowledge	has	brought	to	him	.	for	once	,	we	don't	immediately	care	for	the	main	character	.	instead	,	we	like	bob	(	alec	baldwin	)	,	a	photographer	who	is	going	to	take	pictures	of	charles'	wife	,	mickey	(	elle	macpherson	)	,	out	in	the	wilderness	.	they	board	a	plane	and	head	to	a	cabin	somewhere	in	the	arctic	.	charles'	birthday	is	the	same	day	,	and	he	receives	a	gold	watch	from	his	wife	,	and	a	pocket	knife	from	bob	.	as	action	films	go	,	these	items	do	have	importance	to	the	rest	of	the	story	,	but	quite	a	bit	more	than	we	first	expect	.	soon	,	however	,	bob	wants	to	find	a	native	to	shoot	pictures	of	because	of	his	"	personality	.	"	charles	,	bob	,	bob's	assistant	steve	(	harold	perrineau	)	,	and	the	pilot	head	off	to	find	him	,	and	as	shown	in	the	previews	,	hit	a	flock	of	birds	flying	south	for	the	winter	.	down	the	plane	goes	,	the	pilot	is	killed	,	and	the	three	are	left	to	survive	in	the	wilderness	.	director	lee	tamahori	is	aware	of	the	silly	plot	which	is	about	to	follow	,	and	therefore	has	to	create	original	ways	to	approach	the	situations	.	he	succeeds	often	enough	for	us	to	enjoy	the	film	.	take	,	for	instance	,	the	entire	man	hunting	bear	plot	.	this	has	been	done	many	times	in	films	with	different	animals	,	and	even	bears	.	but	given	the	charles'	intelligence	,	and	bob's	uncertainty	,	many	of	the	cliches	are	given	fresh	twists	.	even	charles	himself	seems	to	have	seen	these	action	films	before	.	my	favorite	line	of	the	film	comes	from	charles	:	"	most	people	die	in	the	wilderness	because	they	didn't	do	the	one	thing	that	could	save	their	life	.	.	.	thinking	.	"	despite	the	predictability	of	the	main	plot	,	a	subplot	develops	late	in	the	film	which	took	me	by	surprise	,	and	made	me	smile	when	i	realized	that	everything	isn't	as	it	seems	anymore	.	i	have	to	write	cautiously	as	to	not	reveal	this	surprise	,	so	instead	i	will	avoid	it	entirely	.	the	first	two	thirds	of	the	edge	have	many	humorous	moments	to	push	it	along	,	and	some	of	charles'	survival	techniques	seem	possible	,	even	making	fire	from	ice	.	tamahori	is	able	to	create	a	lot	of	suspense	from	the	stalking	bear	,	but	whenever	the	bear	is	present	,	the	characters	lose	all	sensibility	.	i	have	always	wondered	why	characters	in	films	walk	over	a	log	to	get	across	water	.	why	not	do	what	an	intelligent	person	would	and	crawl	across	?	i	guess	getting	chased	by	a	bear	makes	your	thought	process	turn	off	for	a	while	.	thankfully	,	we	already	have	begun	to	care	for	the	characters	,	and	so	we	let	this	small	detail	slide	.	but	some	of	the	technical	details	are	awkward	,	such	as	the	nice	stitching	done	on	the	fur	coat	that	charles	and	bob	make	(	where	did	they	get	thread	and	needles	?	)	.	the	acting	of	the	film	is	highly	above	average	for	a	film	of	this	nature	,	and	borders	on	phenomenal	.	anthony	hopkins	gives	a	terrific	performance	,	creating	his	most	likeable	and	layered	character	since	remains	of	the	day	.	hopkins	usually	brings	greatness	to	his	roles	,	but	here	he	exceeds	at	gaining	the	audiences'	sympathy	,	something	he	definitely	did	not	do	in	silence	of	the	lambs	.	alec	baldwin	gives	one	of	his	best	performances	i	have	ever	seen	(	it	sure	is	better	from	his	fair	game	)	.	baldwin	can	be	a	good	or	a	bad	character	,	and	here	he	succeeds	at	both	in	a	way	.	you	can	never	quite	guess	if	he	is	a	nice	or	a	vllainous	character	until	the	end	,	and	baldwin	is	able	to	handle	the	double	natured	photographer	.	elle	macpherson	gives	a	good	performance	,	albeit	slight	.	she	isn't	in	the	film	all	that	much	,	but	for	the	scenes	she	does	have	,	she	handles	as	an	actress	,	not	as	a	model	.	harold	perrineau	is	a	good	actor	,	and	his	scenes	are	nice	and	underplayed	.	he	is	eliminated	early	,	and	i	reveal	nothing	by	saying	this	because	it	is	inevitable	and	predictable	.	the	edge	is	rated	r	for	graphic	violence	,	some	gore	,	and	language	.	some	of	the	violence	is	a	little	too	disturbing	,	even	for	me	.	this	film	is	a	nice	change	from	the	mindless	action	most	of	us	are	used	to	,	but	too	many	cliches	bog	it	down	.	director	tamahori	has	created	a	very	smooth	and	suspenseful	action	film	out	of	recycled	parts	.	david	mamet's	script	,	though	,	has	a	lot	of	humor	to	keep	the	first	hour	afloat	,	and	the	acting	is	solid	.	the	best	thing	about	the	script	is	the	ending	which	doesn't	end	with	the	normal	high	strung	action	sequence	,	but	with	a	small	detail	involving	a	certain	gift	.	it's	a	nice	touch	considering	what	we	have	had	to	go	through	with	the	bear	.	and	by	the	way	,	most	people	laughed	when	the	film	faded	to	black	due	to	a	large	credit	to	bart	the	bear	.	way	to	go	,	bart	.	reviewed	by	respect	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	respect	aros	.	net	"	respect	aros	.	net	a	)	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	a
pos	(	out	of	4	)	truman	(	"	true	man	"	)	burbank	is	the	perfect	name	for	jim	carrey's	character	in	this	film	.	president	truman	was	an	unassuming	man	who	became	known	worldwide	,	in	spite	of	(	or	was	it	because	of	)	his	stature	.	"	truman	"	also	recalls	an	era	of	plenty	following	a	grim	war	,	an	era	when	planned	communities	built	by	government	scientists	promised	an	idyllic	life	for	americans	.	and	burbank	,	california	,	brings	to	mind	the	tonight	show	and	the	home	of	nbc	.	if	hollywood	is	the	center	of	the	film	world	,	burbank	is	,	or	was	,	the	center	of	tv's	world	,	the	world	where	our	protagonist	lives	.	combine	all	these	names	and	concepts	into	"	truman	burbank	,	"	and	you	get	something	that	well	describes	him	and	his	artificial	world	.	truman	leads	the	perfect	life	.	his	town	,	his	car	,	and	his	wife	are	picture	perfect	.	his	idea	of	reality	comes	under	attack	one	day	when	a	studio	light	falls	from	the	sky	.	the	radio	explains	that	an	overflying	airplane	started	coming	apart	.	.	.	but	then	why	would	an	airplane	be	carrying	a	studio	light	?	the	next	day	during	the	drive	to	work	,	the	radio	jams	and	he	starts	picking	up	a	voice	that	exactly	describes	his	movements	.	he	is	so	distracted	that	he	nearly	hits	a	pedestrian	.	when	the	radio	comes	back	to	normal	,	the	announcer	warns	listeners	to	drive	carefully	.	his	suspicion	aroused	,	he	wanders	around	the	town	square	looking	for	other	oddities	.	the	world	appears	to	be	functioning	properly	until	he	enters	an	office	building	and	tries	to	take	the	elevator	.	the	elevator	doors	open	up	on	a	small	lounge	with	people	on	coffee	breaks	.	a	grip	sees	truman	him	and	quickly	moves	a	paneled	door	,	made	to	look	like	the	back	of	an	elevator	,	into	place	.	two	security	guards	grab	him	and	throw	him	out	.	truman	is	really	suspicious	now	.	it	gets	even	worse	the	next	day	when	his	wife	,	a	nurse	,	describes	an	elevator	accident	in	the	building	where	he	saw	the	lounge	.	"	it's	best	not	to	think	about	it	,	"	she	says	,	trying	vainly	to	change	truman's	memory	.	truman	becomes	determined	to	see	who	or	what	is	behind	this	apparently	elaborate	hoax	at	his	expense	.	at	every	turn	he	is	stopped	by	an	amazing	coincidence	that	just	happens	to	keep	him	in	his	own	little	town	.	his	last	hope	is	to	quell	his	fear	of	the	ocean	and	sail	to	the	edge	of	the	world	.	you	know	by	now	that	truman's	life	is	the	subject	of	a	television	program	.	his	actions	are	"	real	"	but	everything	else	is	carefully	scripted	,	from	the	death	of	his	father	to	the	choice	of	his	wife	.	truman	is	determined	to	find	out	what	the	big	hoax	is	.	meanwhile	,	christof	,	the	all	seeing	creator	of	truman's	world	does	his	best	to	keep	him	unaware	and	happy	.	it's	sort	of	like	westworld	told	from	the	robots'	point	of	view	,	or	jurassic	park	from	the	dinosaurs'	point	of	view	.	we	root	for	the	captive	of	the	cage	world	.	our	protagonist	is	counting	on	"	chaos	theory	"	to	help	him	escape	his	elaborate	trap	.	the	story	,	written	by	andrew	niccol	(	writer	director	of	gattaca	)	,	introduces	some	interesting	questions	,	such	as	the	ethics	of	subjecting	a	person	to	this	type	of	life	,	or	the	psychological	impact	of	learning	that	your	entire	life	has	all	been	fake	.	although	these	questions	came	to	mind	,	i	don't	think	the	film	itself	asked	them	.	it	certainly	didn't	address	them	or	try	to	answer	them	.	i	was	particularly	disappointed	that	the	film	didn't	deal	more	with	the	trauma	of	learning	one's	life	is	a	tv	show	.	carrey's	performance	at	the	end	showed	a	smidgen	of	truman's	pain	,	but	i	almost	felt	that	he	got	over	it	too	easily	for	the	sake	of	the	film's	pacing	.	earlier	in	the	movie	i	found	myself	wondering	if	it	would	be	better	for	truman	to	find	out	the	truth	or	whether	i	should	root	for	him	to	be	well	.	the	two	seemed	exclusive	of	one	another	,	but	weir	and	niccol	didn't	see	it	that	way	.	perhaps	it's	not	fair	to	criticize	a	movie	for	what	it	isn't	,	but	it	seems	like	there	were	some	missed	opportunities	here	.	but	on	its	own	terms	,	the	movie	is	well	made	.	sight	,	sound	and	pacing	are	all	handled	competently	.	much	of	the	first	part	of	the	movie	is	the	truman	show	.	the	scenes	are	all	apparently	shot	from	hidden	cameras	,	with	snoots	and	obstructions	covering	the	corners	of	the	screen	.	one	hidden	camera	is	apparently	in	his	car	radio	,	the	green	led	numbers	obscuring	the	lower	part	of	the	screen	.	the	music	is	well	chosen	and	scored	.	the	film	opens	with	what	sounds	like	family	drama	theme	music	,	when	truman's	world	is	still	beautiful	and	perfect	.	when	the	movie	ends	,	the	score	sounds	more	like	a	frantic	,	driven	,	tangerine	dream	opus	,	while	still	keeping	the	same	timbre	.	philip	glass'	epic	music	(	from	powaqqatsi	)	permeates	truman's	scenes	of	suspicion	and	awakening	.	(	glass	has	a	small	cameo	as	a	keyboardist	for	the	show	.	)	and	the	pacing	of	the	story	was	brisk	.	there	was	no	unnecessarily	long	setup	explaining	the	concept	behind	the	truman	show	,	just	a	few	quick	title	cards	,	a	few	interviews	,	and	then	right	into	the	show	,	and	the	movie	.	one	of	the	first	scenes	is	of	the	studio	light	falling	;	there	was	no	token	scene	of	truman's	idyllic	life	before	it	falls	apart	,	because	it	wasn't	necessary	,	we	pick	up	the	story	at	the	first	sign	of	trouble	,	and	no	sooner	.	there's	also	no	point	in	the	movie	where	the	plot	slows	down	.	it's	a	quick	,	straight	shot	to	the	movie's	end	.	in	terms	of	overall	quality	,	i	would	compare	the	truman	show	to	niccol's	gattaca	.	both	films	are	well	made	with	interesting	stories	set	in	interesting	worlds	.	but	neither	film	really	felt	like	it	capitalized	on	all	the	great	ideas	;	neither	film	"	clicked	"	and	became	an	instant	classic	.	nevertheless	,	i	look	forward	to	niccol's	next	film	,	whatever	it	may	be	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	the	police	negotiator	is	the	person	with	the	entirely	unenviable	job	of	going	into	ground	zero	and	attempting	to	talk	a	dangerous	criminal	out	of	doing	whatever	he	or	she	intends	to	do	.	lives	are	often	at	stake	,	and	the	criminal	is	usually	armed	and	most	likely	mentally	unstable	,	prone	to	turn	on	the	negotiator	at	a	moment's	notice	.	the	negotiator	must	therefore	be	something	of	an	actor	,	psychologist	,	and	sham	artist	,	in	addition	to	being	a	police	officer	;	he	must	be	able	to	think	on	his	feet	and	either	work	toward	the	goal	of	ending	the	confrontation	without	violence	,	or	failing	that	,	must	be	prepared	to	facilitate	the	conclusion	of	the	crisis	through	firepower	.	most	of	all	,	the	negotiator	must	be	able	to	enter	a	situation	with	as	little	intelligence	about	the	scenario	as	possible	,	and	quickly	gain	control	of	the	situation	,	dominate	the	conversation	,	and	influence	the	perpetrator	into	thinking	that	the	end	of	the	conflict	is	what	he	really	wants	.	it	takes	a	pretty	smart	person	to	do	that	.	but	what	if	the	hostage	holding	criminal	is	just	as	smart	?	what	if	he's	also	able	to	think	on	his	feet	?	in	fact	,	what	if	he	also	knows	all	the	tricks	to	turning	the	situation	to	his	favor	?	it	is	this	circumstance	which	forms	the	basis	for	f	.	gary	gray's	the	negotiator	.	in	this	film	,	police	negotiator	danny	roman	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	is	tipped	off	by	his	partner	to	corruption	within	the	chicago	police	force	.	when	his	partner	turns	up	shot	to	death	and	internal	affairs	finds	incriminating	evidence	in	roman's	home	,	roman	becomes	the	prime	suspect	of	both	embezzling	from	the	police	disability	fund	and	murder	.	faced	with	the	scorn	of	most	of	the	police	department	,	and	under	close	scrutiny	by	the	media	,	roman	is	forced	to	turn	in	his	badge	in	one	of	those	typical	scenes	in	the	captain's	office	.	i	don't	quite	remember	if	the	captain	actually	said	,	"	i	hate	to	do	this	,	but	.	.	.	"	,	although	it	wouldn't	surprise	me	if	he	did	.	luckily	,	the	film	soon	shakes	off	the	conventionalism	and	concentrates	on	the	interesting	premise	mentioned	above	.	after	being	offered	a	take	it	or	leave	it	deal	by	the	district	attorney	,	roman	resolves	to	prove	his	innocence	by	walking	into	the	office	of	internal	affairs	inspector	niebaum	(	j	.	t	.	walsh	)	,	taking	him	and	others	hostage	,	and	proclaiming	he	has	been	framed	.	although	roman's	actions	seem	forced	due	to	the	compressed	nature	of	his	motivational	build	up	,	gray	redeems	himself	by	involving	us	with	the	negotiations	between	roman	and	fellow	police	negotiator	chris	sabian	(	kevin	spacey	)	which	soon	ensue	.	jackson	,	while	a	superb	actor	,	is	miscast	in	the	role	of	roman	.	the	actor	has	become	so	popular	,	and	so	often	identified	as	a	protagonist	(	notable	exceptions	can	be	found	,	such	as	in	jackie	brown	)	,	that	we	as	an	audience	have	a	difficult	time	believing	he	will	carry	out	his	threats	.	the	script	also	clearly	sets	him	up	as	the	good	guy	who	is	only	trying	to	prove	his	innocence	.	how	can	we	believe	he's	going	to	shoot	a	hostage	,	no	matter	if	the	hostage	tried	to	kill	him	earlier	?	unfortunately	,	this	preconception	saps	the	film	of	some	of	it's	would	be	suspenseful	moments	,	and	anything	good	left	in	those	scenes	is	largely	attributed	to	jackson's	acting	ability	.	almost	every	time	he's	in	a	scene	,	jackson	steals	it	without	looking	back	.	when	spacey	appears	,	the	film	has	already	run	about	a	third	of	its	course	.	his	is	an	interesting	character	.	made	out	to	be	some	kind	of	negotiating	superman	,	our	first	look	at	him	has	him	hopelessly	trying	to	get	his	family	moving	to	set	out	on	vacation	.	"	i	can	talk	a	man	out	of	blowing	up	the	sears	tower	,	but	i	can't	talk	my	wife	out	of	the	bedroom	or	my	daughter	off	the	phone	,	"	he	says	.	when	he	gets	the	call	to	action	,	however	,	he	quickly	changes	gears	and	becomes	the	man	we	expect	him	to	be	.	soon	,	his	character	has	to	negotiate	not	only	with	roman	,	but	also	with	the	swat	commander	(	david	morse	)	who	is	itching	to	send	in	a	team	to	take	roman	out	,	all	the	while	keeping	wary	of	the	fbi	agents	who	are	waiting	to	take	over	the	operation	,	should	negotiations	fail	.	this	complex	set	of	pressures	are	reflected	well	in	sabian	the	negotiator	and	spacey	the	actor	.	as	the	second	protagonist	,	spacey	measures	up	nicely	.	gray	really	lucked	out	with	this	cast	.	david	morse	as	commander	beck	,	ron	rifkin	as	commander	frost	,	and	john	spencer	as	police	chief	al	travis	are	all	more	than	competent	,	and	can	hold	their	own	in	scenes	with	jackson	and	spacey	.	the	only	problem	is	the	bit	of	typecasting	that	results	from	these	choices	:	morse	played	a	similar	role	in	the	rock	,	rifkin	played	the	d	.	a	.	in	l	.	a	.	confidential	,	and	spencer	played	a	police	detective	in	cop	land	.	with	the	level	of	acting	,	however	,	this	can	be	forgiven	.	also	in	the	supporting	cast	,	paul	giamatti	as	rudy	,	one	of	the	hostages	,	is	notable	for	the	comic	relief	he	provides	.	his	character	is	initially	so	slimy	,	and	giamatti	himself	just	looks	so	shifty	,	that	you	expect	to	laugh	before	he	even	says	anything	.	fortunately	,	this	doesn't	distract	from	the	seriousness	of	the	rest	of	the	film	,	but	instead	provides	some	nice	breathers	from	the	level	of	tension	which	gray	manages	to	sustain	throughout	.	j	.	t	.	walsh	,	as	the	suspicious	internal	affairs	inspector	,	clocks	in	with	one	of	his	final	performances	.	sadly	,	the	talented	but	underrated	actor	passed	away	in	late	february	of	this	year	,	and	the	soon	to	be	released	pleasantville	will	mark	his	last	film	.	walsh	appeared	in	dozens	of	movies	such	as	good	morning	vietnam	,	backdraft	,	and	nixon	.	for	one	of	his	best	performances	,	check	out	sling	blade	,	in	which	he	plays	a	mental	patient	sharing	a	ward	with	billy	bob	thornton	.	when	jack	nicholson	accepted	his	best	actor	oscar	in	march	,	walsh	was	one	of	the	men	to	whom	he	credited	his	success	(	the	actors	performed	together	in	a	few	good	men	)	.	the	negotiator	is	actually	dedicated	to	walsh	,	and	while	inspector	niebaum	may	not	have	been	his	best	role	,	it	certainly	characterizes	the	type	of	character	for	which	walsh	had	become	most	famous	for	playing	.	in	the	end	,	the	negotiator	has	a	plotline	that	parallels	it's	reality	.	we're	served	with	the	premise	that	two	equally	deft	negotiators	are	battling	each	other	to	resolve	the	conflict	in	the	manner	which	will	suit	each	of	them	best	.	as	an	audience	,	we're	also	given	a	situation	where	two	wonderfully	talented	actors	are	thrown	into	a	movie	,	and	we'd	like	to	see	if	one	will	dominate	the	film	.	both	provide	some	pretty	good	entertainment	.
pos	conflict	is	overrated	.	too	many	screenwriters	who	have	based	their	work	on	the	numerous	books	that	teach	you	how	to	write	a	screenplay	step	by	step	feel	the	need	to	inject	conflict	at	every	possible	moment	.	at	first	sight	is	a	good	example	of	this	.	there	are	so	many	things	about	this	film	that	work	so	well	,	but	at	times	the	forced	conflict	is	so	embarrasingly	mindless	it	made	me	cringe	.	at	first	sight	is	based	on	a	story	by	oliver	sacks	about	restored	sight	.	in	the	film	,	val	kilmer	plays	virgil	adamson	,	a	man	who	has	been	blind	since	he	was	3	.	he	works	as	a	masseuse	at	a	vacation	resort	.	this	is	where	he	bumps	into	architect	amy	benic	(	sorvino	)	.	these	early	scenes	between	them	are	nothing	short	of	fantastic	.	kilmer	and	sorvino	have	a	dynamic	chemistry	,	and	the	film	could've	simply	focused	on	their	romance	the	entire	running	time	and	be	successful	.	but	i	know	that's	not	the	only	story	irwin	winkler	wants	to	tell	.	this	film	is	also	about	how	a	blind	man	copes	with	restored	sight	.	there	is	nothing	wrong	with	this	,	considering	the	early	scenes	here	are	also	quite	effective	.	bruce	davison	is	a	doctor	who	performs	a	surgery	to	help	virgil	restore	his	sight	.	virgil's	first	moments	of	sight	are	very	frightening	,	since	has	has	no	idea	what	exactly	he	is	looking	at	.	the	moments	of	this	story	i	enjoyed	most	dealt	with	virgil	attempting	to	make	sense	of	what	he	is	seeing	.	for	example	,	he	knows	what	an	apple	looks	like	,	but	he	can't	tell	the	difference	between	a	real	apple	and	a	picture	of	an	apple	.	virgil	is	aided	by	visual	therapist	phil	webster	(	nathan	lane	)	.	lane's	performance	is	very	good	,	but	i	wish	there	was	more	of	his	character	here	.	i	would've	preferred	more	scenes	of	human	interaction	and	therapy	between	virgil	and	phil	than	dull	lectures	from	bruce	davison's	character	.	but	that's	only	a	minor	problem	.	the	film's	two	biggest	flaws	are	the	introduction	of	two	minor	characters	that	didn't	need	to	be	in	this	story	.	steven	webber	plays	sorvino's	ex	husband	and	boss	.	first	of	all	,	it's	hard	to	beleive	these	two	were	ever	married	,	and	it's	even	harder	to	beleive	that	their	breakup	wouldve	been	amicable	enough	for	her	to	still	want	to	work	for	him	.	but	conflict	is	necessary	says	these	screenwriting	books	,	and	the	screenplay	makes	the	major	mistake	of	presenting	webber's	character	as	a	threat	to	virgil	and	amy's	romance	.	this	guy	is	the	most	pathetic	and	pointless	character	since	john	pankow	in	the	object	of	my	affection	.	any	scene	he	is	in	shakes	the	credibility	of	the	entire	film	.	another	misconceived	character	comes	in	the	form	of	virgil's	father	.	he	left	virgil	many	years	ago	when	he	couldn't	find	a	cure	for	his	blindness	.	when	he	learns	of	virgil's	restored	sight	,	he	tries	to	arrange	a	meeting	between	them	.	i	don't	care	about	this	.	the	father	is	a	throwaway	character	who	we	only	see	in	two	scenes	,	but	the	film	asks	us	to	find	the	scene	between	them	touching	and	sad	.	it's	just	a	mindless	way	to	inject	more	conflict	for	virgil	than	was	necessary	.	instead	,	why	couldn't	the	film	give	a	better	subplot	for	virgil's	sister	(	very	well	played	by	kelly	mcgillis	)	?	.	she	has	seemingly	devoted	her	entire	life	to	taking	care	of	virgil	,	so	why	not	show	scenes	where	she	wonders	about	her	future	without	virgil	?	now	that	he's	with	amy	,	she	no	longer	has	anyone	to	come	home	to	and	take	care	of	.	scenes	like	this	would've	been	more	touching	than	a	lame	father	son	reunion	.	the	film	does	hint	at	this	once	,	but	it's	quickly	abandoned	.	yet	once	again	this	year	,	i	enjoyed	a	film	despite	the	appearance	of	several	major	flaws	.	if	the	allure	of	the	friday	night	lights	propelled	varsity	blues	past	it's	flaws	,	then	what	works	here	is	the	powerful	romance	between	virgil	and	amy	.	mira	sorvino	is	a	terrific	actress	,	and	this	performance	is	among	her	best	.	she	has	a	natural	ability	to	show	how	much	she	cares	for	someone	without	even	having	to	say	a	word	.	val	kilmer	abandons	his	usual	brooding	,	egotistical	style	of	performance	and	instead	creates	a	character	that	he	actually	seems	to	care	about	.	virgil	is	sweet	,	funny	,	smart	,	and	even	infuriating	.	kilmer	is	able	to	bring	out	all	these	traits	perfectly	,	which	is	certainly	more	impressive	than	the	simple	technical	task	of	looking	like	a	blind	person	.	together	,	they	have	immense	chemistry	and	are	able	to	carry	the	entire	film	past	even	it's	most	gaping	of	flaws	.
pos	chad'z	rating	:	(	out	of	4	excellent	)	1998	,	r	,	170	minutes	2	hours	,	50	minutes	starring	:	tom	hanks	(	captain	miller	)	;	tom	sizemore	(	sergeant	horvath	)	,	edward	burns	(	private	reiben	)	,	jeremy	davies	(	corporal	upham	)	;	written	by	robert	rodat	;	produced	by	ian	bryce	,	mark	gordon	,	gary	levinsohn	;	steven	spielberg	;	directed	by	steven	spielberg	.	seen	august	8	,	1998	at	6	p	.	m	.	at	rotterdam	square	cinemas	(	rotterdam	,	ny	)	,	theater	6	,	by	myself	for	free	using	my	sony	loews	critic's	pass	.	theater	rating	:	:	good	seats	,	sound	,	and	picture	war	is	a	topic	that	can't	help	but	be	glorified	any	way	it	is	portrayed	by	the	media	.	movies	,	documentaries	,	and	even	history	books	have	a	way	of	making	the	darker	side	of	humanity	exciting	since	the	most	general	aspects	are	focused	on	,	such	as	strategy	,	politics	,	and	victory	.	it's	easy	to	forget	war	,	in	its	most	basic	form	,	is	a	battle	of	armies	out	to	slaughter	each	other	.	forgotten	more	easily	is	the	fact	that	each	soldier	,	no	matter	what	his	rank	or	importance	,	is	a	real	flesh	and	blood	person	and	not	just	a	number	.	"	saving	private	ryan	"	is	one	of	the	few	films	that	dares	play	up	this	aspect	,	especially	in	its	unapologetic	,	realistic	delivery	.	it	proves	there's	a	huge	difference	between	battling	and	killing	.	the	film	opens	with	one	of	the	most	graphic	,	disturbing	scenes	in	recent	memory	.	it's	world	war	ii	,	d	day	to	be	exact	,	and	the	u	.	s	.	military	is	invading	omaha	beach	where	the	nazis	are	more	than	ready	for	them	.	spielberg	uses	many	techniques	to	create	for	a	total	sense	of	reality	.	instead	of	positioned	cameras	,	the	footage	here	seems	to	have	been	shot	by	camera	operators	running	alongside	soldiers	as	if	they	were	just	as	scared	.	there	is	no	sense	of	stability	,	but	of	constant	,	anxious	,	and	confusing	motion	,	giving	us	the	feeling	of	being	in	the	middle	of	the	battle	,	and	just	a	vulnerable	as	the	poor	troops	.	"	poor	"	is	a	proper	word	to	describe	how	pathetic	and	yet	innocent	the	men	fighting	are	.	there	is	little	to	no	dialogue	throughout	the	loud	battle	and	no	prologue	to	define	any	characters	.	we	don't	get	the	feeling	these	are	handsome	actors	playing	heroic	roles	,	but	that	these	are	men	about	to	kill	and	be	killed	for	reasons	beyond	their	understanding	.	the	nazis	are	not	portrayed	as	enemies	to	be	hated	,	but	as	people	that	must	be	destroyed	because	they're	there	.	in	the	movies	,	the	good	guys	can	run	through	a	firestorm	of	bullets	and	bombs	and	not	get	a	scratch	,	but	in	reality	that	wouldn't	happen	.	the	men	have	nothing	to	shield	or	protect	them	besides	some	metal	flanks	and	dead	bodies	.	they	are	sitting	ducks	and	we	realize	this	through	the	perspective	of	the	well	secured	germans	who	can	actually	see	who	,	what	,	and	where	they're	shooting	,	unlike	the	americans	who	must	fire	in	a	general	direction	to	avoid	getting	their	heads	blown	off	.	perhaps	the	film	is	flawed	by	not	providing	any	backstory	on	the	war	itself	and	who	the	men	really	are	,	but	that	seems	to	be	part	of	the	theme	.	the	film	seems	to	rely	on	the	audience's	sense	of	patriotism	,	that	the	american	military	is	"	right	"	and	good	and	that	the	nazis	are	"	inherently	evil	.	"	the	battle	scene	eventually	focuses	on	a	group	of	men	who	have	miraculously	survived	and	made	their	way	close	to	the	enemy	stronghold	(	a	whole	50	foot	progression	)	,	and	begin	to	inflict	some	damage	.	i	have	to	admit	that	once	the	first	glimpse	of	victory	over	the	nazis	sprang	up	,	i	couldn't	help	but	feel	some	sense	of	joy	and	relief	.	to	triumph	against	all	odds	is	a	cliche	to	be	sure	,	but	there's	nothing	cliche	about	the	graphic	,	detailed	,	atmosphere	here	because	it	really	happened	.	one	of	the	most	surprising	aspects	of	the	film	is	how	little	story	construction	there	is	,	and	yet	the	events	that	take	place	make	sense	and	are	interesting	.	the	plot	is	practically	irrelevant	since	the	film	is	more	concerned	with	the	reality	of	the	war	and	the	soldiers	we	meet	.	tom	hanks	stars	as	captain	miller	,	a	relatively	average	man	who	happens	to	be	the	leader	of	a	platoon	.	he's	never	obsessive	or	any	such	generic	,	cartoonish	characteristic	that	might	dominate	a	character	like	this	.	he	doesn't	want	to	be	there	any	more	than	his	men	,	but	when	he	is	given	a	mission	he	intends	to	carry	it	out	.	the	mission	the	film	is	concerned	with	is	,	as	the	title	states	,	saving	private	ryan	.	through	a	series	of	command	started	by	an	ordinary	clerical	worker	,	it	is	brought	to	a	general's	attention	that	three	brothers	from	iowa	have	been	killed	in	action	and	their	mother	will	receive	notices	of	each's	death	simultaneously	.	when	they	learn	a	fourth	brother	is	stationed	somewhere	in	europe	,	they	make	it	a	top	priority	to	have	him	returned	safely	to	his	mother	.	it's	easy	to	sympathize	with	this	situation	,	after	all	,	no	one	should	have	to	lose	all	their	children	at	once	.	but	finding	one	man	in	this	war	is	,	as	miller	puts	it	,	"	like	trying	to	find	a	needle	in	a	stack	of	needles	.	"	the	saving	of	private	ryan	isn't	just	a	dramatic	device	,	but	a	thematic	one	.	his	salvation	represents	the	sense	of	innocence	the	country	,	the	world	even	,	was	trying	to	convince	itself	it	still	had	.	when	miller's	company	hears	of	the	mission	,	they	scoff	at	the	idea	assuming	he	is	dead	,	but	miller	isn't	so	quick	to	shrug	it	off	.	he	knows	the	only	thing	that	can	really	save	soldiers	from	death	is	hope	,	and	now	he	has	the	opportunity	to	make	someone's	sense	of	hope	a	reality	.	the	mission	to	find	ryan	gives	miller's	group	a	destination	,	but	not	direction	.	along	the	way	many	things	happen	to	them	,	both	good	and	bad	.	a	few	battles	are	fought	,	not	to	be	major	accomplishments	for	the	war	,	but	because	they	encounter	german	soldiers	and	have	no	other	choice	.	the	act	of	killing	itself	becomes	one	of	the	film's	major	philosophical	metaphors	.	the	soldiers	don't	mind	killing	other	soldiers	in	blind	battle	,	but	when	they	come	across	a	lone	survivor	who	begs	them	to	let	him	go	,	they	can	barely	stop	themselves	from	killing	him	in	cold	blood	as	some	kind	of	vengeance	for	their	losses	.	unfortunately	,	death	is	a	fact	of	war	,	and	most	films	try	to	avoid	it	when	it	comes	to	the	main	characters	,	but	here	spielberg	doesn't	want	us	to	think	these	men	are	invincible	.	in	fact	,	only	a	small	amount	of	color	and	personality	is	sketched	into	each	man	,	and	the	performances	are	good	enough	to	make	this	method	work	.	although	the	characters	are	somewhat	typical	,	the	actors	maintain	control	over	the	material	at	all	time	.	whether	they're	arguing	with	each	other	,	telling	stories	of	back	home	,	or	fighting	the	germans	,	they	never	go	overboard	and	always	seem	believable	.	sure	,	there's	a	zinger	here	and	there	,	but	war	doesn't	change	the	fact	boys	will	be	boys	.	if	and	when	one	dies	we	too	can	feel	the	loss	,	even	though	we	hardly	knew	them	.	the	final	act	brings	the	story	full	circle	with	another	tremendous	,	violent	battle	sequence	.	private	ryan	has	been	found	,	but	facing	four	to	one	odds	,	can	the	americans	defeat	the	germans	and	keep	ryan	alive	?	that's	not	a	premise	for	thrills	,	it's	symbolic	of	everything	the	film	has	worked	for	.	it	would	be	wrong	to	say	the	film	has	either	a	happy	or	sad	ending	,	it	ends	the	way	it	must	end	.	i	remember	reading	a	"	calvin	hobbes	"	comic	strip	where	calvin	asked	his	dad	something	like	,	"	dad	,	how	do	armies	of	men	killing	each	other	solve	problems	?	"	"	saving	private	ryan	"	is	the	adult	version	of	that	question	.	hr	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	200	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.
pos	disaster	films	have	a	tendency	to	be	very	formulated	and	very	cliched	.	to	see	a	disaster	film	with	actual	originality	,	or	at	least	a	decent	plot	twist	,	would	definitely	be	a	welcome	surprise	.	unfortunately	,	folks	,	it's	not	likely	.	dante's	peak	is	cliched	,	and	at	times	corny	,	but	also	pretty	decent	.	to	be	honest	,	i	wasn't	very	interested	in	seeing	this	film	,	and	word	of	mouth	,	as	well	as	several	reviews	,	didn't	make	it	sound	promising	.	so	i	was	pleasantly	surprised	that	to	find	that	this	movie	wasn't	bad	at	all	.	it's	pretty	run	of	the	mill	,	but	it's	not	something	i	would	say	is	merely	"	ok	"	to	watch	.	in	case	you	don't	know	,	dante's	peak	is	about	a	volcano	and	the	city	which	lives	in	it's	shadow	,	dante's	peak	(	who	would've	guessed	,	eh	?	)	.	pierce	brosnan	plays	the	volcanologist	sent	to	study	the	volcano	and	,	perhaps	more	by	hunch	than	actual	scientific	proof	,	is	determined	that	the	volcano	will	be	arupting	in	the	very	near	future	.	due	to	the	lack	of	more	substantial	evidence	,	nobody	warns	the	small	town	,	and	when	they	finally	do	,	it's	in	the	middle	of	the	town	meeting	that	the	volcano	finally	blows	.	brosnan	,	all	around	good	guy	,	will	,	of	course	,	save	the	day	.	.	.	or	at	least	the	mayor	of	dante's	peak	(	linda	hamilton	)	.	naturally	the	two	will	become	infatuated	with	one	another	.	(	if	you	think	i	just	ruined	a	plot	development	,	you	haven't	seen	very	many	movies	!	)	there's	also	the	virtually	neccessary	kids	and	pet	dog	to	tug	at	your	heart	strings	.	and	of	course	,	the	kids	or	the	dog	(	at	least	one	or	the	other	)	will	do	something	heroic	.	.	.	but	hey	,	i	don't	want	to	ruin	all	the	surprises	!	if	there	was	a	part	of	you	that	was	hesitating	seeing	dante's	peak	merely	because	it	was	rumored	to	be	a	waste	of	time	,	i	urge	you	to	watch	it	and	decide	for	yourself	.	it's	not	brain	food	,	but	it	succeeds	at	what	it's	meant	to	be	.	.	.	an	enjoyable	,	suspenseful	movie	about	the	fury	mother	nature	can	unleash	!
pos	david	mamet	is	a	good	director	.	mamet's	an	even	better	screenwriter	and	playwright	.	the	guy's	authored	some	of	the	best	film	and	theatre	works	in	the	past	decade	the	verdict	,	house	of	games	,	wag	the	dog	,	state	and	main	,	and	the	guy	even	won	a	pulitzer	prize	for	his	play	glengarry	glen	ross	.	with	that	said	,	it's	such	a	shame	that	his	latest	crime	caper	,	heist	,	falls	apart	by	employing	too	many	of	the	well	known	devices	of	a	mamet	production	double	crossing	femmes	fatale	,	overtly	memorable	characters	,	and	deceptive	plot	lines	.	but	movies	like	the	spanish	prisoner	,	things	change	,	and	the	winslow	boy	display	a	roundness	to	mamet's	innate	abilities	.	and	it's	almost	a	crime	to	witness	how	all	of	that	goes	awry	in	his	latest	film	,	heist	.	heist	twists	and	turns	along	the	road	of	documenting	the	shady	life	of	career	jewel	thief	joe	moore	(	gene	hackman	)	and	his	posse	of	thieves	bobby	blane	(	delroy	lindo	)	and	don	"	pinky	"	pincus	(	ricky	jay	)	.	during	a	raid	on	a	jewelry	store	,	moore	ends	up	with	his	mug	on	the	surveillance	cameras	and	he	goes	on	the	lam	from	the	local	marshals	.	he	decides	to	get	out	of	dodge	with	his	recent	bride	fran	(	rebecca	pidgeon	,	looking	like	a	cross	between	sharon	stone	and	joan	crawford	)	,	sailing	into	the	sunset	on	his	yacht	.	the	only	problem	is	that	his	fence	bergman	(	danny	devito	)	has	set	up	a	big	score	the	swiss	job	which	he	wants	done	so	badly	he	holds	joe's	cut	of	the	jewelry	heist	on	layaway	until	the	swiss	job	is	done	.	to	ensure	his	faithful	hound	brings	the	goods	home	intact	,	bergman	tosses	his	nephew	jimmy	silk	(	sam	rockwell	)	into	joe's	crew	for	observation	purposes	.	things	become	complicated	when	joe's	wife	has	an	affair	with	jimmy	,	the	swiss	job	turns	sour	,	devito	starts	acting	like	his	character	from	ruthless	people	,	and	ricky	jay	starts	looking	for	the	exit	to	this	mess	of	a	film	.	a	mamet	production	usually	derives	its	success	from	a	solid	emotional	attachment	to	its	characters	usually	they've	been	wronged	and	are	seeking	justice	or	absolution	.	the	nave	scientist	from	the	spanish	prisoner	or	the	curious	psychologist	from	house	of	games	were	just	decent	people	we	recognize	in	our	everyday	lives	.	when	those	people	get	royally	screwed	over	,	its	human	nature	to	desire	retribution	.	heist	lacks	any	such	emotional	attachment	.	of	greater	concern	is	the	recycling	of	plot	points	from	ronin	,	which	mamet	also	wrote	and	which	deals	with	a	similar	plot	involving	double	crossing	thieves	on	the	run	.	to	save	the	day	,	though	,	heist	carries	some	of	the	best	actors	working	today	.	devito	,	lindo	,	and	hackman	chew	up	and	spit	out	the	scenery	around	them	.	sam	rockwell	who	usually	plays	nave	and	jovial	characters	in	movies	like	galaxy	quest	plays	silk	as	cold	,	manipulative	,	and	downright	spooky	.	but	the	main	problem	with	heist	is	how	surprisingly	predictable	the	story	is	.	unlike	the	similar	yet	far	superior	the	score	,	there's	never	any	surprise	during	heist's	twisting	.	mamet	has	just	become	lazy	with	this	one	.	everything	about	the	film	looks	great	,	but	there's	nothing	at	all	underneath	.	reviewed	as	part	of	our	coverage	of	the	24th	annual	mill	valley	film	festival	.
pos	united	kingdom	united	states	,	1997	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	12	25	97	(	limited	)	running	length	:	1	:	50	mpaa	classification	:	r	(	profanity	,	mature	themes	,	brief	nudity	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	1	.	85	:	1	cast	:	phylida	law	,	emma	thompson	,	gary	hollywood	,	arlene	cockburn	,	sheila	reid	,	sandra	voe	,	douglas	murphy	,	sean	biggerstaff	director	:	alan	rickman	producers	:	ken	lipper	,	edward	r	.	pressman	,	steve	clark	hall	screenplay	:	sharman	macdonald	and	alan	rickman	cinematography	:	seamus	mcgarvey	music	:	michael	kamen	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	fine	line	features	anyone	who	saw	alan	rickman's	finely	realized	performances	in	truly	madly	deeply	and	sense	and	sensibility	will	be	unsurprised	that	the	actor	turned	director	is	a	bit	of	a	poet	at	heart	.	however	,	for	those	who	recall	him	only	as	the	maniacal	villain	of	die	hard	and	robin	hood	:	prince	of	thieves	,	this	recognition	may	be	something	of	a	shock	.	nevertheless	,	"	poetic	"	is	an	excellent	term	to	describe	rickman's	feature	debut	as	a	director	,	the	winter	guest	.	the	film	has	a	simple	,	unhurried	rhythm	that	uses	all	of	the	available	elements	to	fashion	a	successful	whole	.	the	result	is	an	occasionally	haunting	,	sometimes	magical	,	and	always	insightful	human	drama	.	the	winter	guest	isn't	about	resolving	plot	threads	and	advancing	a	story	line	;	it's	about	exploring	relationships	and	examining	life	in	all	of	its	stages	.	the	winter	guest	does	not	tell	a	traditional	tale	,	nor	does	it	ascribe	to	a	conventional	narrative	structure	there	is	no	real	beginning	or	end	.	instead	,	we	are	given	an	opportunity	to	observe	one	day	in	the	lives	of	eight	humans	.	they	represent	both	sexes	,	multiple	generations	,	and	a	variety	of	relationships	male	and	female	;	young	,	middle	aged	,	and	elderly	;	friends	,	would	be	lovers	,	and	kin	.	we	see	expectations	fulfilled	and	disappointed	,	emotional	boundaries	eroded	,	and	truths	unveiled	.	there	is	comedy	and	tragedy	.	most	importantly	,	much	of	what	transpires	during	the	course	of	the	winter	guest	will	find	an	echo	in	our	own	lives	in	this	fiction	can	be	found	much	truth	.	the	setting	is	small	town	in	scotland	on	the	coldest	day	of	the	year	.	it's	so	frigid	that	the	sea	has	begun	to	freeze	over	.	the	onshore	wind	cuts	like	a	knife	and	snow	blankets	the	beach	,	giving	the	terrain	an	alien	appearance	.	it	is	against	this	backdrop	that	the	relationships	of	the	film	are	captured	.	there	are	four	pairings	,	and	,	although	there	is	some	interaction	between	the	different	twosomes	,	the	winter	guest's	focus	is	on	the	dynamics	internal	to	each	relationship	.	the	first	,	meatiest	pairing	is	that	of	elspeth	(	phylida	law	)	and	her	recently	widowed	daughter	,	frances	(	emma	thompson	)	.	these	two	have	a	stormy	relationship	.	they	love	each	other	deeply	,	but	both	are	stubborn	and	willful	,	and	neither	is	willing	to	admit	that	they	need	the	other	.	much	of	their	interaction	is	argumentative	,	but	,	during	the	course	of	a	long	walk	to	the	frozen	shoreline	,	they	come	to	an	unspoken	understanding	of	how	much	each	means	to	the	other	.	frances'	adult	son	,	alex	(	gary	hollywood	)	,	is	a	lonely	young	man	who	has	been	caring	for	his	mother	since	the	death	of	his	father	.	on	this	day	,	he	meets	a	girl	,	nita	(	arlene	cockburn	)	,	who	has	secretly	been	spying	on	him	for	weeks	.	although	their	first	encounter	is	antagonistic	(	she	throws	a	snowball	at	him	)	,	both	quickly	become	aware	of	an	undeniable	attraction	.	once	they	retire	to	a	place	where	they	can	be	alone	,	however	,	things	don't	go	exactly	as	planned	.	lily	(	sheila	reid	)	and	chloe	(	sandra	voe	)	are	a	couple	of	old	friends	who	are	frequent	funeral	attendees	.	death	is	a	topic	of	endless	fascination	for	them	,	perhaps	because	they	are	so	close	to	it	,	and	they	spend	their	spare	time	scanning	the	obituaries	,	looking	for	the	next	funeral	or	cremation	in	the	area	.	it	doesn't	matter	whether	or	not	they	knew	the	deceased	.	it's	the	ceremony	that	they're	interested	in	.	sam	(	douglas	murphy	)	and	tom	(	sean	biggerstaff	)	,	a	pair	of	schoolboy	chums	,	are	spending	this	cold	february	day	cutting	classes	and	hanging	out	at	the	beach	,	horsing	around	,	building	a	small	fire	for	warmth	,	and	walking	on	the	frozen	water	.	unlike	lily	and	chloe	,	these	two	have	their	entire	lives	ahead	of	them	.	they	are	young	enough	to	still	believe	in	magic	,	but	old	enough	to	recognize	that	the	process	of	crossing	into	adulthood	robs	life	of	the	simple	joy	that	only	children	can	experience	.	the	acting	is	strong	and	believable	.	the	mixture	of	veteran	performers	and	first	timers	is	effective	,	with	the	most	successful	choice	being	the	casting	of	real	life	mother	and	daughter	phylida	law	and	emma	thompson	in	the	most	prominent	roles	.	there	is	a	chemistry	in	their	interaction	that	would	be	hard	to	replicate	with	two	different	,	non	related	actors	.	and	,	of	course	,	the	physical	resemblance	makes	it	that	much	easier	to	accept	elspeth	and	frances	as	parent	and	child	.	the	winter	guest	began	its	life	as	a	stage	play	in	1995	,	with	rickman	as	the	director	.	four	of	the	film's	principals	,	phylida	law	,	arlene	cockburn	,	sheila	reid	,	and	sandra	voe	,	appeared	in	the	theatrical	version	before	moving	to	the	film	.	unlike	several	recent	motion	pictures	adapted	from	plays	,	the	winter	guest	has	been	successfully	opened	up	.	the	rough	,	bleak	scottish	countryside	becomes	as	much	of	a	character	as	any	of	the	eight	humans	.	in	fact	,	considering	how	important	the	climate	is	to	every	relationship	under	rickman's	microscope	,	it	could	be	argued	that	this	is	the	single	most	important	element	of	the	movie	.	if	you	appreciate	character	studies	,	the	winter	guest	is	a	solid	effort	with	enough	power	to	stay	with	you	after	you	have	left	the	theater	.
pos	gramercy	1	:	50	1998	r	(	violence	,	language	,	glimpses	of	nudity	,	drug	use	)	cast	:	jeff	bridges	;	john	goodman	;	julianne	moore	;	steve	buscemi	;	david	huddleston	;	peter	stormare	;	tara	reid	;	philip	seymour	hoffman	;	flea	;	john	turturro	;	sam	elliott	director	:	joel	coen	screenplay	:	ethan	coen	;	joel	coen	you	know	you're	in	for	a	truly	different	cinematic	experience	the	moment	you	realize	steve	buscemi	has	been	cast	as	the	movie	in	question's	most	normal	character	.	such	is	the	case	with	"	the	big	lebowski	,	"	joel	and	ethan	coen's	first	venture	since	their	"	fargo	"	nabbed	nationwide	acclaim	and	a	mantlepiece	of	academy	award	nods	.	there's	no	need	to	fear	that	the	coens	suffered	creative	burnout	with	that	accomplishment	,	because	"	lebowski	"	is	an	effort	that	makes	words	like	"	strange	"	and	"	unusual	"	seem	like	an	understatement	.	thanks	in	part	to	delicious	characterization	and	an	all	encompassing	sense	of	humor	,	the	film	is	a	smashing	success	.	the	central	oddball	here	is	the	dude	(	jeff	bridges	)	,	an	unemployed	cad	whose	ambitions	appear	to	be	zilch	beyond	smoking	pot	,	drinking	beer	and	going	bowling	(	are	you	college	students	already	rooting	for	him	,	or	what	?	)	.	one	night	,	a	pair	of	thugs	break	into	his	house	and	pee	on	his	carpet	,	a	threatening	act	that's	supposed	to	be	carried	out	against	a	famous	pasadena	millionaire	(	david	huddleston	)	who	shares	his	birth	name	jeff	lebowski	with	the	dude	.	once	the	dude	realizes	this	coincidence	,	he	visits	the	big	lebowski	in	hopes	to	claim	reparations	for	his	soiled	rug	,	and	is	back	to	his	normal	life	with	alley	pals	walter	(	john	goodman	)	,	a	hotheaded	vietnam	vet	,	and	donny	(	buscemi	)	,	a	mild	mannered	surfer	,	before	too	long	.	soon	,	though	,	lebowski's	trampy	trophy	wife	bunny	(	tara	reid	)	is	kidnaped	and	held	for	a	hefty	ransom	,	and	he	turns	to	the	dude	for	help	.	it	seems	bunny's	troubles	are	related	to	a	line	of	work	she's	kept	secret	from	her	husband	she's	actually	an	adult	film	star	and	is	very	in	debt	with	a	shady	producer	named	jackie	treehorn	.	the	dude	,	now	on	lebowski's	payroll	,	accepts	the	offer	and	agrees	to	handle	the	money	drop	;	walter	tags	along	and	insists	that	the	dude	keep	the	cash	for	himself	.	chaos	obviously	ensues	,	and	the	dude	eventually	finds	himself	in	hot	water	with	cops	,	crooks	and	lebowski's	ultra	eccentric	artist	daughter	maude	(	julianne	moore	)	.	"	the	big	lebowski	"	deserves	to	win	the	coens	the	same	amount	of	acclaim	that	"	fargo	"	did	;	while	that	1996	black	comedy	was	certainly	a	better	film	,	"	lebowski	"	is	at	least	as	breathtakingly	imaginative	.	the	movie	boasts	a	mile	high	absurdity	level	that	sometimes	threatens	to	topple	over	,	but	thankfully	never	does	.	the	coens	(	joel	directed	,	ethan	produced	and	both	wrote	)	keep	you	in	stitches	as	they	unravel	their	exceedingly	loopy	tale	,	and	must	be	commended	for	juggling	a	number	of	people	and	subplots	one	would	expect	to	find	in	a	robert	altman	flick	.	whether	we're	watching	bridges	fend	off	a	marmet	in	his	bathtub	or	moore	don	viking	duds	and	dance	in	a	busby	berkeley	esque	dream	sequence	,	"	the	big	lebowski	"	is	immensely	lively	.	there	are	those	who	will	dislike	this	film	,	but	not	because	it's	boring	.	the	cast	has	a	great	deal	of	fun	with	the	bounteous	material	they're	given	.	bridges	exudes	a	likeable	,	surprisingly	sweet	presence	;	his	dude	sure	isn't	the	cleanest	guy	around	,	but	you'd	still	follow	him	to	another	movie	.	goodman	merits	1998's	first	oscar	consideration	,	as	walter's	manic	temper	is	one	of	"	the	big	lebowski	"	's	many	highlights	;	the	same	goes	for	moore	,	whose	throaty	,	delectable	performance	as	maude	is	a	hilarious	hoot	.	john	turturro	may	very	well	steal	the	movie	with	his	two	scenes	as	a	colorful	bowler	from	a	rival	faction	.	sam	elliott's	rambling	narration	gets	the	film	off	to	a	solid	start	.	and	some	will	recognize	peter	stormare	"	fargo	"	's	silent	heavy	as	carl	hungus	,	a	porn	star	who's	really	a	samurai	sword	wielding	german	nihilist	and	has	been	pop	star	.	only	in	its	final	third	does	the	movie	falter	,	with	a	couple	of	loose	plot	threads	and	some	cast	members	who	quickly	disappear	and	never	emerge	for	a	curtain	call	.	these	flaws	are	forgivable	,	though	the	coens	have	crafted	a	tale	so	rich	with	personality	that	it's	hard	to	look	at	the	final	product	with	anything	but	a	big	grin	on	your	face	.	without	a	doubt	,	"	the	big	lebowski	"	is	the	best	film	so	far	this	year	.	sure	,	we're	only	three	months	in	and	the	competition	(	"	deep	rising	,	"	"	desperate	measures	,	"	"	the	wedding	singer	,	"	etc	.	)	has	been	pretty	bland	,	but	it's	still	the	gospel	truth	.	maybe	during	next	awards	season	,	"	lebowski	"	won't	be	a	far	cry	from	"	fargo	.	"	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
pos	scream	2	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	directed	by	wes	craven	.	written	by	kevin	williamson	.	starring	neve	campbell	,	courtney	cox	,	david	arquette	.	only	a	year	after	the	initial	release	of	"	scream	,	"	the	horror	send	up	from	veteran	horror	director	wes	craven	and	screenwriter	kevin	williamson	that	seemed	to	breathe	new	life	into	the	slasher	genre	,	the	inevitable	sequel	"	scream	2	"	has	arrived	in	our	theaters	.	while	the	tongue	in	cheek	,	parodic	element	is	still	noticeable	in	this	film	,	it's	really	a	sideshow	to	a	broader	commentary	on	violence	and	the	media	and	a	more	conventional	horror	story	.	the	first	film	,	while	often	violent	and	gruesome	,	was	mostly	lacking	in	genuine	scares	because	almost	every	scene	was	played	for	camp	value	and	the	discussion	of	the	quirks	and	cliches	of	horror	movies	was	nearly	constant	.	the	premise	of	"	scream	2	"	is	that	a	series	of	copycat	killings	begin	when	a	movie	called	"	stab	,	"	based	on	a	book	written	by	opportunistic	reporter	gail	weathers	(	courtney	cox	)	about	the	events	in	"	scream	,	"	is	released	and	two	audience	members	are	killed	during	the	opening	screening	.	i	had	heard	about	this	scene	before	i	went	to	see	the	film	and	was	surprised	to	find	this	sequence	largely	lacking	in	camp	comedy	.	its	conclusion	,	in	which	a	bleeding	,	wounded	woman	stumbles	in	front	of	the	screen	and	dies	in	front	of	an	audience	that	cheers	on	because	they	think	it's	a	publicity	stunt	,	is	more	surreal	and	disturbing	than	anything	else	.	the	satire	in	"	scream	2	"	thus	takes	on	a	broad	focus	and	gradually	evolves	into	an	exploration	of	media	perceptions	in	general	.	although	resident	horror	film	geek	randy	(	jamie	kennedy	)	is	back	with	fresh	dialogue	about	sequels	(	and	,	interestingly	enough	,	how	they	are	usually	inferior	to	their	predecessors	)	,	the	characters	in	this	movie	are	drawing	from	other	entries	in	the	pop	culture	encyclopedia	as	well	.	everything	from	"	friends	"	and	"	saved	by	the	bell	"	to	"	showgirls	"	and	"	terminator	2	"	is	referenced	here	;	horror	is	only	one	of	many	genres	available	for	lampooning	,	and	there	aren't	any	"	wes	carpenter	"	jokes	this	time	.	more	importantly	,	this	film	portrays	characters	willing	to	go	to	disturbing	lengths	for	media	attention	as	well	as	characters	whose	perceptions	have	clearly	been	warped	by	what	they	have	seen	on	tv	and	film	.	the	killings	are	clearly	an	imitation	of	the	previous	murders	from	"	scream	"	(	in	fact	,	the	culprit	even	plans	to	use	the	influence	of	horror	movies	as	a	courtroom	defense	)	,	weathers	exploits	the	situation	for	her	own	notoriety	,	and	one	man	seems	willing	to	save	the	heroine's	life	only	if	it	will	earn	him	an	interview	on	the	today	show	.	understandably	,	"	scream	2	"	does	not	go	so	far	as	to	actually	blame	the	movies	,	but	rather	shows	that	those	who	do	imitate	horror	movies	are	already	sick	and	twisted	.	couple	that	with	the	fact	that	several	of	the	characters	,	most	notably	the	lead	character	sidney	prescott	(	neve	campbell	)	,	are	fairly	well	developed	and	that	there	are	some	genuine	moments	of	spine	chilling	suspense	,	and	what	we	have	is	a	pretty	darned	good	horror	movie	in	its	own	right	.	we	don't	just	get	the	horror	of	scary	masks	and	graphic	gore	we	also	get	the	horror	of	sympathetic	characters	who	seem	helpless	as	their	friends	are	slaughtered	(	and	,	in	one	case	,	a	significant	character	who	was	an	audience	favorite	even	bites	the	dust	)	and	whose	lives	have	been	reduced	to	constant	fear	of	a	crazed	murderer	lurking	around	the	corner	.	while	i	have	not	seen	any	of	his	other	work	,	it's	easy	to	see	why	craven	is	generally	touted	as	the	most	sophisticated	"	slasher	film	"	director	,	as	he	clearly	cares	about	something	more	than	just	the	actual	acts	of	slashing	.	unfortunately	,	"	scream	2	"	occasionally	reverts	to	the	time	honored	horror	tradition	of	throwing	logic	out	the	window	.	for	example	,	several	characters	seem	quite	clearly	dead	and	inexplicably	turn	up	alive	later	there	has	been	a	running	gag	in	both	movies	about	the	villain	being	able	to	pull	off	this	particular	trick	,	but	it	also	happens	with	other	characters	and	in	an	even	less	believable	fashion	.	there	are	also	a	few	scenes	in	which	the	killer	suddenly	appears	behind	the	next	victim	in	a	situation	such	that	(	s	)	he	clearly	would	have	been	seen	moving	in	that	direction	.	as	for	the	question	of	whether	or	not	"	scream	2	"	is	yet	another	sequel	not	as	good	as	its	predecessor	.	.	.	well	,	it's	hard	to	say	.	i	gave	the	first	"	scream	"	3	1	2	stars	as	well	because	it	worked	pretty	consistently	as	a	light	hearted	send	up	.	"	scream	2	"	bounces	all	over	the	place	stylistically	,	but	it	does	a	better	job	delivering	the	genuine	scares	and	asking	the	questions	about	media	violence	that	were	only	hinted	at	in	the	first	installment	.	i'm	not	sure	which	is	the	better	movie	,	but	i	did	leave	the	theater	convinced	of	one	thing	:	sequels	,	however	much	randy	might	argue	,	do	not	necessarily	suck	.
pos	(	out	of	4	)	directed	by	mimi	leder	starring	george	clooney	,	nicole	kidman	,	armin	mueller	stahl	,	michael	lures	,	randall	batinkoff	,	michael	boatman	mimi	leder	is	probably	best	known	for	her	stunning	work	as	a	director	of	the	hit	tv	show	er	.	her	mast	famous	episode	,	"	love's	labour	lost	"	,	dealt	with	the	ordeal	of	doctor	mark	greene	as	he	tried	his	best	to	save	the	life	of	a	pregnant	mother	and	her	child	.	the	way	she	moved	the	camera	and	created	tension	throughout	every	scene	was	amazing	.	there	was	more	excitement	and	adrenaline	rushed	suspense	than	just	about	any	of	hollywood's	big	blockbuster	movies	.	so	it's	only	natural	that	leder	would	get	to	direct	her	very	own	hollywood	blockbuster	.	and	i	have	to	say	,	after	a	shaky	beginning	,	she	does	not	disappoint	.	peacemaker	deals	with	the	theft	of	nuclear	weapons	by	terrorists	,	which	is	obviously	nothing	new	.	the	first	half	hour	goes	into	detail	,	way	too	much	detail	,	about	how	the	weapons	are	stolen	.	despite	a	few	good	images	,	including	a	train	collision	and	a	very	impressive	explosion	,	none	of	this	was	very	coherent	.	it's	long	and	drawn	out	,	and	i	would	have	settled	with	a	more	implausible	beginning	that	would	have	moved	the	story	along	better	.	once	george	clooney	and	nicole	kidman	enter	the	picture	,	it	begins	to	take	off	.	george	clooney	is	an	air	force	colonel	with	connections	all	over	the	world	.	he	has	a	nice	sarcastic	wit	and	the	rough	edges	that	you	expect	from	most	clooney	characters	.	nicole	kidman	is	head	of	a	white	house	team	on	weapons	smuggling	.	there	is	the	usual	flirtatious	banter	between	the	two	,	but	that	is	dispensed	with	quickly	.	the	story	takes	clooney	and	kidman	across	the	globe	,	trying	to	figure	out	who	has	the	weapons	and	where	they	are	going	with	them	.	clooney	goes	through	bouts	of	sarcasm	,	frustration	,	determination	,	and	revenge	while	kidman	works	against	her	own	insecurity	and	self	doubt	.	this	is	when	leder	starts	to	show	her	true	stuff	.	she	starts	us	off	with	a	nifty	little	car	chase	as	an	appetizer	.	then	we	get	clooney	doing	heroics	in	and	out	of	a	helicopter	.	then	that	leads	us	to	the	brilliant	final	showdown	on	new	york	city's	crowded	streets	,	and	a	madman	with	a	nuke	walking	among	them	.	mimi	leder	is	a	natural	at	creating	suspense	.	she	reminds	me	of	wolfgang	petersen	in	her	ability	to	make	the	most	routine	action	sequences	exciting	and	breathtaking	.	nicole	kidman	is	an	intelligent	female	action	hero	.	you're	not	gonna	find	her	falling	down	so	clooney	can	come	back	to	save	her	.	george	clooney	is	a	real	movie	star	.	many	of	you	may	have	hated	him	as	batman	,	but	this	guy	is	for	real	.	he	has	a	natural	screen	presence	,	and	an	ingratiating	personality	.	he'll	be	around	for	a	while	.	dreamworks	is	off	to	a	satisfying	start	with	peacemaker	.
pos	release	date	:	january	22	,	1999	starring	:	emily	watson	,	rachel	griffiths	,	david	morrissey	,	james	frain	,	charles	dance	,	celia	imrie	directed	by	:	anand	tucker	distributed	by	:	october	films	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	language	,	sexuality	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	hilary	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	hilary	.	htm	a	not	since	1996's	shine	,	which	starred	geoffrey	rush	as	pianist	david	helfgott	,	has	a	movie	so	defiantly	laid	bare	the	lives	of	world	class	musicians	.	in	fact	,	if	one	were	to	watch	these	films	together	,	it	would	almost	certainly	stand	as	a	convincing	argument	that	a	life	of	music	naturally	leads	to	all	varieties	of	social	ills	.	yet	hilary	and	jackie	,	the	sophomore	effort	from	director	anand	tucker	,	has	something	more	to	say	it	softly	but	strongly	explores	the	complex	relationships	of	sibling	rivalry	and	love	in	a	very	compelling	tale	.	emily	watson	and	rachel	griffiths	are	the	leads	in	this	tale	,	playing	the	sisters	du	pr	.	both	musicians	from	childhood	,	hilary	(	griffiths	)	is	renowned	flutist	while	jacqueline	(	watson	)	is	easily	as	skilled	on	the	cello	.	the	two	comepete	for	and	win	many	honors	as	children	and	as	young	women	,	both	together	and	seperate	.	their	careers	as	musicians	surpass	and	then	bow	to	one	another's	,	and	although	their	lives	take	very	different	paths	hilary	settles	down	to	marriage	and	a	family	while	rachel	skips	across	the	globe	on	a	world	concert	tour	they	are	bound	together	by	their	deep	family	love	.	the	performances	of	watson	and	griffiths	are	excellent	in	style	and	substance	.	they	contrast	each	other	wonderfully	,	and	while	watson's	portrayal	of	jackie	du	pr	is	at	times	eccentric	and	perhaps	unsympathetic	,	both	characters	are	charged	with	emotion	.	the	frank	cottrell	boyce	script	,	which	is	based	on	the	book	by	hilary	and	piers	du	pr	,	brings	a	great	deal	of	depth	to	these	characters	as	well	.	the	script	is	also	to	be	commended	for	its	well	polished	dual	nature	.	cottrell	boyce	adopts	a	style	which	one	might	expect	to	see	in	a	mystery	thriller	(	which	was	in	fact	the	case	with	david	koepp	and	robert	towne's	script	for	mission	:	impossible	)	and	skillfully	molds	it	to	the	story	of	two	rising	musicians	on	different	courses	to	fame	.	the	latter	parts	of	his	script	are	controversial	to	say	the	least	,	and	the	rather	depressing	ending	takes	the	wind	out	of	an	envigorating	story	.	some	will	leave	this	movie	feeling	disenfranchised	.	nevertheless	,	hilary	and	jackie	is	a	movie	that	reaches	an	upper	echelon	of	contemporary	cinema	through	solid	fundamentals	and	is	a	decent	watch	all	around	.
pos	director	:	brad	silberling	screenplay	:	dana	stevens	(	based	on	an	original	screenplay	by	wim	wenders	and	peter	handke	)	stars	:	nicolas	cage	(	seth	)	,	meg	ryan	(	maggie	)	,	andr	braugher	(	cassiel	)	,	dennis	franz	(	messinger	)	,	colm	feore	(	jordan	)	,	robin	bartlett	(	anne	)	,	joanna	merlin	(	teresa	)	mpaa	rating	:	pg	13	hr	there	is	a	striking	scene	early	in	"	city	of	angels	,	"	where	all	the	angels	who	live	unseen	in	our	midst	,	gather	at	the	beach	to	watch	the	sun	rise	.	the	camera	moves	above	them	,	showing	the	endless	rows	of	ethereal	men	and	women	,	all	garbed	in	black	.	then	the	camera	moves	in	on	the	face	of	seth	,	an	angel	played	by	nicolas	cage	,	and	as	the	sun	rises	,	he	smiles	and	his	entire	face	lights	up	.	you	see	,	the	angels	can	hear	music	in	sunrises	and	sunsets	,	but	they	cannot	feel	a	human	touch	.	it	is	an	important	scene	for	several	reasons	.	first	of	all	,	it	is	one	of	many	instances	in	the	film	that	make	angels	seem	thoroughly	plausible	.	the	film	presents	these	fantastic	beings	as	normal	looking	people	who	drift	amongst	the	inhabitants	of	earth	,	watching	what	goes	on	with	little	interference	.	there	are	none	of	the	standard	,	hokey	angel	references	used	in	recent	films	like	"	angels	in	the	outfield	"	(	1994	)	or	"	michael	"	(	1996	)	.	the	angels	here	are	stark	and	believable	.	this	early	scene	on	the	beach	is	also	an	important	scene	of	juxtaposition	,	for	its	shows	how	god's	angels	can	enjoy	aspects	of	the	earth	that	human	cannot	,	and	yet	they	are	denied	so	many	simple	human	pleasures	,	like	feeling	the	sand	on	their	feet	or	the	waves	lapping	at	their	legs	,	or	the	smell	of	the	salt	in	the	air	.	there	is	an	inherent	tragedy	in	being	an	angel	,	although	there	is	much	beauty	in	it	as	well	.	they	eternally	walk	the	earth	,	listening	to	our	thoughts	,	touching	us	in	our	pain	,	and	leading	the	dying	to	heaven	.	like	human	existence	,	being	an	angel	is	often	confused	and	unsure	.	"	city	of	angels	"	is	essentially	a	love	story	,	between	seth	and	a	human	,	a	beautiful	but	sad	heart	surgeon	named	maggie	(	meg	ryan	)	.	he	first	sees	her	when	he	is	in	her	operating	room	,	waiting	to	lead	the	soul	of	her	dying	patient	to	heaven	.	maggie	is	distraught	,	doing	everything	in	her	power	to	stop	the	man	from	dying	on	her	table	,	and	seth	is	moved	by	her	efforts	and	,	more	importantly	,	her	overwhelming	sadness	when	the	patient	dies	.	angels	have	the	limited	power	to	soothe	humans	in	time	of	misery	and	pain	,	and	seth	does	what	he	can	with	his	invisible	touch	,	but	it's	not	enough	.	he	wants	to	be	with	her	and	share	her	pain	,	not	just	stand	back	at	a	distance	.	he	learns	that	the	only	way	to	fulfill	his	desire	for	human	love	and	touch	is	for	him	to	"	fall	"	and	become	human	.	he	learns	this	from	another	fallen	angel	,	played	by	dennis	franz	(	"	n	.	y	.	p	.	d	.	blue	"	)	in	a	touching	and	humorous	performance	.	sitting	at	a	diner	together	,	franz	tells	cage's	character	about	how	wonderful	it	is	to	be	human	to	be	able	to	taste	food	,	feel	another	person's	skin	,	smell	the	air	,	and	most	importantly	,	have	a	loving	wife	and	children	.	of	course	,	there	is	pain	to	go	along	with	all	this	,	but	for	seth	,	it	will	be	worth	it	.	"	city	of	angels	"	is	something	of	a	reinterpretation	of	wim	wender's	haunting	1988	film	"	wings	of	desire	.	"	wenders'	film	was	more	like	a	poem	it	was	the	feeling	,	the	emotion	that	truly	mattered	over	what	actually	happened	.	the	americanized	version	moves	the	location	from	divided	berlin	to	broken	los	angeles	,	and	the	emphasis	shifts	onto	the	relationship	between	the	immortal	angel	and	the	mortal	human	.	and	,	unlike	most	foreign	films	that	are	re	made	into	hollywood	fare	,	it	doesn't	suffer	extensive	damage	.	this	may	be	because	director	brad	silberling	(	"	casper	"	)	and	screenwriter	dana	stevens	(	"	blink	"	)	wanted	to	make	"	city	of	angels	"	its	own	movie	inspired	by	"	wings	of	desire	,	"	but	not	an	attempt	to	copy	it	.	and	yet	,	"	city	of	angels	"	is	not	a	typical	hollywood	movie	.	it	is	beautifully	filmed	in	lush	colors	by	cinematographer	john	seale	(	"	the	english	patient	"	)	,	whose	sweeping	aerial	shots	and	golden	lighting	make	los	angeles	into	an	almost	unrecognizable	new	world	.	seale	creates	many	striking	visuals	:	in	addition	to	the	beach	scene	,	there	is	a	wonderful	sequence	in	a	circular	library	where	all	the	angels	appear	at	banisters	all	around	,	looking	down	at	seth	as	he	watches	maggie	walk	by	.	while	the	film	travels	along	a	charted	plot	,	it	takes	time	to	develop	its	characters	and	situations	;	it	sheds	light	on	the	boundaries	between	what	is	earthly	and	what	is	heavenly	,	and	shows	just	how	thin	those	boundaries	are	.	both	cage	and	ryan	give	soulful	,	soft	spoken	performances	.	ryan	,	who	is	usually	so	bouncy	and	energetic	,	truly	embodies	a	sadness	that	can	only	be	alleviated	by	a	heavenly	touch	.	cage	projects	all	his	desire	and	longing	to	be	human	in	simple	,	heartfelt	gazes	,	and	speaks	with	the	comforting	,	knowing	voice	that	only	an	angel	could	have	.	what	is	most	striking	about	"	city	of	angels	"	is	that	stevens	has	added	a	new	ending	to	the	screenplay	,	which	is	both	unexpected	and	challenging	.	it's	not	a	formulaic	hollywood	ending	,	because	it	is	both	sad	and	uplifting	at	the	same	time	.	it	doesn't	give	the	audience	what	it	thinks	it	wants	at	the	end	of	a	romance	.	instead	,	it	offers	something	much	better	,	something	that	speaks	to	the	depths	of	what	it	means	to	be	human	and	alive	.	____________________________________________	visit	"	charlie	don't	surf	!	"	an	eclectic	collection	of	film	reviews	by	james	kendrick	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bigfoot	.	com	jimkendrick	"	http	:	www	.	bigfoot	.	com	jimkendrick	a	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jimkendrick	bigfoot	.	com	"	jimkendrick	bigfoot	.	com	a
pos	prompted	by	the	recent	runaway	bride	,	(	a	diaster	all	it's	own	)	i	decided	to	rent	pretty	woman	to	see	what	got	this	tepid	film	made	.	it	all	flashed	before	my	eyes	,	it	was	the	world's	first	glimpse	into	the	world	of	cutesy	julia	movies	.	a	fun	,	inventive	romantic	comedy	that	starts	and	ends	just	like	it	should	.	edward	lewis	(	gere	)	buys	companies	,	takes	them	apart	,	and	sells	them	bit	by	bit	.	he	meets	vivian	(	roberts	)	on	hollywood	way	when	he	asks	her	for	directions	to	beverly	hills	.	asking	her	what	her	name	is	,	she	says	"	what	do	you	want	it	to	be	?	"	needing	to	take	a	load	off	,	he	hires	her	for	the	night	.	taking	a	liking	to	her	,	he	then	hires	her	for	a	whole	week	.	but	he	needs	to	clean	vivian	up	.	buying	her	dresses	and	having	her	learn	table	manners	to	attend	various	dinners	so	she	can	appear	as	his	date	soon	becomes	his	prime	concern	.	he	begins	to	fall	in	love	with	her	,	but	it	takes	awhile	for	her	to	return	his	affections	.	vivian	also	helps	him	see	through	buying	another	family	owned	company	by	bringing	out	the	more	emotional	side	of	him	.	pretty	woman	is	extremely	cute	.	cute	is	the	only	world	for	it	.	i	also	liked	the	fact	that	prostitutes	are	portrayed	as	people	that	need	help	(	much	in	the	same	way	that	african	american	gangsters	were	showcased	in	slam	.	)	the	film	turns	in	fine	performances	by	it's	two	leads	,	but	also	from	hector	elizondo	as	the	hotel	manager	,	and	laura	san	giacomo	as	julia's	prostituting	pal	.	despite	minor	cliches	and	problems	,	the	fun	romantic	comedy	pretty	woman	still	gets	stars	.	the	young	uns	:	the	title	character	is	a	prostitute	and	there	is	some	sexual	discussion	as	well	as	bad	attitudes	towards	her	.	there	is	also	some	mild	language	.	good	age	:	12	up	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	a
pos	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	zero	effect	gets	its	title	from	the	main	character	,	daryl	zero	(	bill	pullman	)	,	although	we	don't	understand	what	it	truly	means	until	the	very	last	line	of	dialogue	in	the	film	.	zero	is	a	private	investigator	,	perhaps	the	best	private	investigator	who	ever	lived	(	at	least	he'd	like	to	think	so	)	.	however	,	he's	a	socially	inept	being	,	and	eccentric	in	every	possible	way	this	fact	certainly	makes	his	talents	as	a	private	eye	even	more	bewildering	than	they	already	are	.	zero's	accomplice	is	steve	arlo	(	ben	stiller	)	,	a	"	normal	"	guy	who	does	the	business	side	of	the	job	he's	the	one	who	actually	speaks	to	clients	and	explains	zero's	greatness	as	an	investigator	.	the	opening	scene	has	steve	explaining	the	many	virtues	of	zero's	talents	to	soon	to	be	client	gregory	stark	(	ryan	o'neal	)	.	it	turns	out	that	stark	has	lost	a	key	to	a	safe	deposit	box	,	and	is	now	being	blackmailed	for	something	that	he	apparently	knows	nothing	about	.	zero	takes	the	case	,	and	the	plot	thickens	.	his	path	leads	to	a	young	,	pretty	paramedic	named	gloria	sullivan	(	kim	dickens	)	.	despite	her	luminous	and	seemingly	harmless	presence	,	she	turns	out	to	be	the	one	blackmailing	stark	.	through	his	investigations	,	zero	learns	why	,	but	not	without	developing	feelings	for	gloria	feelings	that	,	because	of	his	reclusive	behavior	,	are	new	and	confusing	to	him	.	i	have	no	particular	affinity	towards	the	mystery	genre	of	film	.	i	can	idly	enjoy	movies	about	private	investigators	,	and	,	every	once	in	a	while	,	a	film	like	chinatown	comes	a	long	that	blows	me	away	(	actually	,	no	private	eye	film	has	ever	reached	chinatown's	greatness	)	.	zero	effect	,	which	is	jake	kasdan's	first	effort	as	writer	director	,	is	a	film	about	a	private	investigator	that	succeeds	in	all	attempts	:	it's	an	original	,	funny	,	and	completely	involving	motion	picture	.	with	so	many	cliches	available	to	this	genre	,	i	find	it	amazing	that	kasdan	avoided	all	of	them	.	but	he	didn't	just	successfully	avoid	flaws	:	he	has	created	a	great	film	here	,	one	that	had	me	interested	and	fascinated	from	the	first	shot	to	the	final	moment	.	take	,	for	starters	,	the	great	cast	of	characters	.	pullman	is	terrific	as	zero	,	showing	a	comic	flair	that	i	really	haven't	seen	from	him	since	spaceballs	.	zero	is	the	kind	of	guy	who	seems	at	ease	switching	personalities	so	frequently	as	he	does	here	;	the	fact	that	he's	an	almost	exaggeratedly	twisted	,	emotionally	unstable	man	outside	of	his	profession	is	not	at	all	difficult	to	believe	.	pullman's	performance	is	much	more	layered	than	it	might	seem	at	first	glance	,	and	the	occasional	voice	over	as	he's	going	through	the	motions	of	his	job	are	insightful	and	often	hilarious	.	ben	stiller	is	also	a	very	funny	individual	;	he's	the	kind	of	comedian	who	makes	normal	lines	sound	funny	.	"	i'll	shoot	you	,	"	he	says	to	stark	at	one	point	.	"	i	have	a	gun	,	and	everything	.	"	his	character	is	also	well	drawn	,	with	an	interesting	subplot	involving	his	girlfriend	(	angela	featherstone	)	who	is	not	happy	with	the	extensive	amounts	of	time	he	must	spend	away	from	her	due	to	the	unpredictability	of	his	job	.	o'neal	also	gives	his	character	a	bit	of	depth	;	and	kim	dickens	,	last	seen	(	and	underused	)	in	mercury	rising	,	gets	a	chance	to	show	us	her	talent	here	,	giving	gloria	the	realism	this	kind	of	character	really	needs	.	i	find	zero	effect	to	be	an	immensely	funny	and	witty	film	.	kasdan's	humor	is	of	the	best	kind	soft	spoken	,	and	mostly	dialogue	driven	(	though	there	are	some	great	visual	jokes	)	.	it's	the	kind	of	humor	that's	funny	even	after	you've	seen	it	five	or	six	times	.	there's	one	scene	in	which	zero	talks	about	how	detached	he	is	,	an	how	that	makes	him	such	a	great	detective	.	what	we	see	during	this	narration	are	various	shots	of	him	sitting	on	a	bed	,	or	standing	motionlessly	,	with	his	hair	destroyed	and	an	utterly	blank	look	painted	on	his	unshaven	face	,	his	eyes	pointing	to	something	off	camera	,	but	obviously	to	nothing	in	particular	.	i	can't	convey	to	you	how	funny	this	is	,	but	what	makes	it	great	film	making	is	that	it	has	a	point	scenes	like	this	are	frequent	,	and	they	provide	solid	characterization	of	zero	.	as	a	side	note	,	i	don't	consider	myself	an	average	viewer	when	it	comes	to	comedy	(	not	to	sound	elitist	)	i	find	things	funny	that	many	do	not	,	and	vice	versa	.	there	was	a	clump	of	people	near	me	in	the	theater	laughing	uproariously	through	this	film	,	and	the	rest	of	the	theater	was	relatively	silent	through	most	of	it	.	i	have	a	feeling	the	humor	here	won't	appeal	to	everyone	,	but	there's	certainly	enough	story	and	character	development	to	keep	anyone's	interest	.	jake	kasdan	,	son	of	writer	director	lawrence	kasdan	,	is	only	22	years	old	.	i	found	this	out	after	seeing	the	film	,	and	i	can't	remember	ever	being	so	impressed	with	a	film	maker	.	his	direction	is	stylish	without	being	pretentious	,	and	his	writing	is	mature	,	full	,	and	developed	.	zero	effect	is	the	kind	of	film	that	i'll	buy	for	my	collection	smart	,	original	films	like	this	are	rare	as	it	is	,	but	this	one	actually	has	a	heart	and	a	soul	.	at	the	end	of	the	film	,	i	was	involved	in	the	characters	,	and	i	was	satisfied	with	the	outcome	.	and	,	with	kasdan's	undeniable	talent	at	such	a	young	age	,	all	i	can	do	is	hope	to	see	a	lot	more	from	him	in	the	future	.
pos	in	zoolander	,	the	world's	most	successful	,	influential	and	intellectually	challenged	male	model	derek	zoolander	wonders	,	"	is	there	more	to	life	than	being	really	really	really	good	looking	?	"	obviously	,	the	film's	creator	and	star	ben	stiller	asked	a	similar	question	when	crafting	a	feature	length	movie	out	of	his	hilarious	vh1	vogue	fashion	awards	short	film	subject	:	can	there	be	more	to	this	film	than	being	really	really	really	silly	?	no	,	of	course	not	,	and	it	never	aspires	to	be	anything	more	.	much	like	derek	,	zoolander	is	a	sweet	simpleton	of	a	movie	.	it's	not	complex	in	either	its	social	commentary	or	its	comedy	,	and	it	never	produces	any	gut	busting	laughs	(	except	maybe	a	scene	when	derek's	model	roommates	all	die	in	a	tragic	"	gasoline	fight	"	accident	a	riotously	funny	take	off	of	tommy	hilfiger	ads	)	.	but	it	has	a	satisfying	handful	of	strong	chuckles	,	wild	characters	and	performances	,	and	mildly	harsh	potshots	at	the	fashion	industry	to	keep	you	amused	.	better	yet	,	this	exaggerated	version	of	the	original	three	minute	skit	is	only	blown	out	to	an	efficient	95	minutes	just	enough	time	to	string	together	its	goofball	plot	without	exhausting	the	gag	.	zoolander	opens	with	several	fashion	bigwigs	plotting	to	assassinate	the	prime	minister	of	malaysia	,	since	he	wants	to	abolish	child	labor	in	his	country	and	thus	driving	up	their	costs	.	fashion	designer	and	criminal	mastermind	jacobim	mugatu	(	will	ferrell	)	drafts	a	plan	to	brainwash	the	dumbest	fashion	model	to	carry	out	the	evil	deed	.	enter	derek	,	whose	career	is	slumping	as	newcomer	hansel	(	owen	wilson	)	takes	the	spotlight	.	on	the	trail	of	mugatu's	plot	is	time	magazine	reporter	matilda	jeffries	(	stiller's	real	life	wife	christine	taylor	)	,	and	she's	hoping	to	use	mugatu's	pawn	derek	to	ultimately	foil	the	scheme	.	much	like	the	austin	powers	films	,	zoolander	relies	heavily	on	the	strength	of	the	talent	involved	,	and	this	zany	comedy	features	some	of	the	funniest	people	in	entertainment	today	.	wilson	is	hysterical	as	the	young	,	vain	hansel	.	ferrell	nearly	steals	the	show	from	everyone	as	the	flamboyant	,	freakish	mugatu	in	the	same	way	dr	.	evil	upstages	everyone	in	austin	powers	.	jerry	stiller	ben's	dad	who's	best	remembered	as	frank	costanza	of	seinfeld	makes	a	priceless	turn	as	derek's	slimy	agent	maury	ballstein	.	even	ben	stiller	show	alum	andy	dick	shows	up	as	a	deranged	,	large	assed	masseuse	.	as	for	ben	stiller	,	it	seems	his	derek	has	one	gag	:	he's	stupid	,	which	plays	out	in	some	uproarious	one	liners	.	unfortunately	,	taylor	seems	out	of	place	and	out	of	her	league	here	.	maybe	it's	just	because	i	can't	stop	seeing	her	as	marcia	brady	(	who	she	played	in	both	brady	movies	)	,	making	her	unbelievable	as	a	dowdy	,	brainy	plain	jane	who	hasn't	had	sex	in	two	years	.	she	leaves	me	pining	for	the	cynicism	of	janeane	garofolo	,	who	would've	added	real	comic	substance	to	the	flimsy	role	.	while	zoolander	is	hardly	highbrow	,	its	screwball	humor	is	welcome	during	these	trying	times	,	especially	considering	the	gross	lack	of	decent	pickings	in	the	theaters	these	days	.	zoolander's	no	masterpiece	,	but	a	very	worthy	distraction	.
pos	bob	the	happy	bastard's	quickie	review	:	what's	worse	than	y2k	?	how	about	a	fully	digital	future	where	nothing	is	real	?	that's	what	computer	programmer	neo	(	keanu	reeves	)	slowly	learns	as	he	enters	the	dangerous	world	that	is	the	matrix	,	a	movie	directed	by	the	wachowski	brothers	(	the	guys	behind	the	hip	thriller	bound	)	.	before	you	groan	at	the	presence	of	reeves	in	the	lead	role	,	hold	on	.	there's	actually	a	story	with	depth	here	.	it	seems	that	a	group	of	hackers	is	out	to	stop	the	system	that	is	the	matrix	,	led	by	the	bald	but	brilliant	laurence	fishburne	and	assisted	by	carrie	ann	moss	,	who	looks	quite	cool	in	leather	,	i	must	say	.	neo	(	reeves	)	is	pretty	much	a	key	player	in	this	fight	,	although	he	really	doesn't	look	it	at	first	.	could	this	amateur	be	"	the	one	"	as	fisburne	thinks	he	is	?	credit	the	wachowskis	for	putting	together	a	great	story	that	allows	suspense	to	build	,	something	that	few	special	effects	laden	films	seem	to	do	these	days	.	there's	plenty	of	effects	to	go	around	,	of	course	,	but	at	least	there's	a	backbone	to	build	them	on	as	well	.	reeves	is	surprisingly	good	in	his	role	as	neo	,	particularly	in	a	fight	scene	with	fishburne	that	comes	across	as	goofy	,	yet	great	.	i	wish	the	villains	weren't	quite	so	"	generic	"	(	leftover	g	men	from	looking	for	a	sweet	sci	fi	actioner	with	plenty	of	stop	motion	swooping	camera	angles	and	,	of	course	,	a	motherlode	of	a	helicopter	explosion	.	now	the	wachowskis	are	headed	into	horror	films	with	their	next	project	.	bring	it	on	.
pos	the	ability	to	suspend	ones	disbelief	is	a	vital	trait	when	attending	a	schwarzengger	movie	.	however	,	due	to	the	absence	of	a	good	film	from	the	big	austrian	for	quite	some	time	,	people	seem	to	have	forgotten	this	.	the	biggest	complaint	i	hear	about	"	end	of	days	"	is	that	it	was	unbelievable	.	i'm	sorry	,	but	i	personally	believe	it	is	incredibly	naive	to	expect	arnold	to	appear	in	a	realistic	film	.	twenty	years	ago	,	a	newborn	girl	was	chosen	by	a	satanic	cult	to	be	the	one	who	would	bear	the	child	of	satan	.	now	,	young	christine	(	robin	tunney	)	is	grown	up	and	is	being	stalked	by	three	different	groups	:	two	church	factions	,	one	intent	on	killing	her	;	and	the	other	,	led	by	father	kovak	(	rod	steiger	)	,	attempting	to	protect	and	hide	her	;	the	third	party	is	satan	himself	,	possessing	the	body	of	a	wall	street	banker	(	gabriel	byrne	)	.	drawn	into	the	conflict	are	jericho	cane	(	arnold	schwarzenegger	)	and	chicago	(	kevin	pollak	)	,	two	bodyguards	hired	by	the	man	they	do	not	know	to	be	satan	.	as	cane	is	drawn	deeper	and	deeper	into	the	conflict	,	he	learns	that	christine	must	not	be	impregnated	or	the	world	will	come	to	an	end	.	if	you	don't	like	arnold	movies	,	chances	are	you	already	know	to	steer	clear	of	this	one	.	if	this	somehow	hasn't	occured	to	you	,	let	me	reassure	you	that	this	is	a	schwarzenegger	film	in	the	truest	sense	,	so	stay	far	away	.	being	a	typical	film	of	the	schwarzenegger	genre	,	this	movie	is	a	whole	lot	of	fun	,	but	be	sure	to	leave	your	brain	and	sense	of	logic	at	the	door	.	there	are	more	plot	holes	here	than	i	can	begin	to	count	.	this	movie	isn't	about	plot	though	.	it's	about	fight	scenes	,	explosions	and	special	effects	.	these	are	certainly	present	in	abundance	.	on	the	down	side	,	the	acting	here	is	certainly	less	than	phenomenal	from	the	leads	.	as	all	know	,	arnold	isn't	going	to	get	any	oscar	nominations	in	the	near	future	.	however	,	he	is	charismatic	enough	to	get	away	with	this	.	robin	tunney	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	likely	to	get	nominated	for	at	least	one	award	,	and	that's	the	razzie	.	not	only	is	she	laughably	bad	in	this	role	,	but	she	looks	utterly	dumbfounded	as	to	what	she's	supposed	to	be	doing	half	the	time	.	as	for	the	rest	of	the	cast	,	rod	steiger	is	as	good	as	ever	;	kevin	pollak	is	certainly	in	his	element	as	a	smart	alec	of	a	side	kick	;	and	cch	pounder	,	a	remarkable	actress	,	is	woefully	underused	as	a	police	detective	.	the	real	standout	performance	here	comes	from	gabriel	byrne	as	the	man	(	this	is	how	he's	credited	)	himself	.	byrne	simply	oozes	charm	and	authority	.	watch	for	a	scene	in	which	he	meets	a	skateboarder	who	disrespects	him	.	"	end	of	days	"	is	mindless	movie	fun	nearly	at	its	best	.	it	doesn't	quite	make	it	because	the	film	does	border	on	being	too	mindless	at	times	.	some	of	the	scenes	we	are	expected	to	swallow	will	have	you	gawking	at	the	screen	in	disbelief	(	such	as	how	cane	discovers	the	existence	of	christine	)	.	if	you	think	you	can	get	past	this	,	just	sit	back	,	relax	,	and	enjoy	.	"	end	of	days	"	runs	a	touch	too	long	at	120	minutes	.	i	give	it	three	and	a	half	stars	,	and	a	recommendation	to	catch	a	matinee	.	feel	free	to	e	mail	with	comments	at	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jabii	aol	.	com	"	jabii	aol	.	com	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	rating	:	out	of	length	:	98	min	(	1	:	38	hours	)	director	:	barry	sonnenfeld	producer	(	s	)	:	laurie	macdonald	,	steven	r	.	molen	,	walter	f	.	parkes	,	graham	place	,	steven	spielberg	cast	:	tommy	lee	jones	,	will	smith	,	linda	fiorentino	,	vincent	d'onofrio	,	rip	torn	,	tony	shalhoub	aliens	!	!	well	,	that	is	what	this	movie	is	about	.	computer	generated	aliens	.	ok	,	the	movie	is	not	just	about	computer	generated	aliens	.	it's	about	computer	generated	aliens	and	a	secret	organization	known	as	mib	.	if	one	wasn't	green	and	running	around	the	other	would	not	exist	as	it's	known	.	the	computer	graphics	in	this	movie	are	spectacular	,	they	make	you	want	to	believe	that	aliens	like	the	ones	depicted	exits	.	since	seeing	this	movie	i	have	to	agree	concede	that	denis	rodman	is	an	alien	,	he	simply	has	to	be	.	well	,	in	all	seriousness	the	aliens	created	here	are	not	only	of	the	monster	variety	but	are	also	of	the	soft	,	squishy	and	cuddly	kind	.	just	adds	something	of	a	lighter	note	to	the	movie	where	it	could	have	become	very	dark	.	along	with	aliens	comes	the	humor	and	in	a	pretty	decent	way	.	j	,	well	soon	to	be	j	,	a	smart	ass	cop	(	played	by	will	smith	)	runs	down	what	he	thinks	is	a	would	be	villain	and	gets	some	attention	from	the	mib	and	k	in	particular	.	k	aims	to	recruit	our	poor	j	,	but	that	is	not	the	whole	point	of	this	movie	.	the	main	duty	of	the	mib	is	to	police	the	extra	terrestrials	on	earth	who	have	chosen	it	as	a	home	or	a	refuge	.	that's	also	the	main	point	of	this	movie	:	protect	the	earth	from	the	scum	of	the	galaxy	.	some	of	the	scum	from	space	is	awfully	bad	and	just	down	right	nasty	.	color	commentary	abounds	when	forced	to	deal	with	alien	scum	and	none	other	than	will	smith	and	tommy	lee	jones	are	there	to	deliver	the	punch	.	the	dialogue	is	witty	to	say	the	least	.	this	wittiness	lets	the	movie	flow	well	from	scene	to	scene	developing	the	characters	to	the	extent	needed	for	this	movie	.	tommy	lee	jones	(	as	k	)	and	will	smith	(	as	j	)	provide	both	the	action	and	the	comedy	beautifully	.	the	characters	they	play	don't	seem	to	be	wrong	in	any	way	nor	does	their	performance	as	them	.	i	would	have	to	say	that	k	is	more	amusing	than	j	,	but	what's	one	without	the	other	.	both	roles	complemented	each	other	very	well	and	the	script	seemed	to	be	written	for	these	two	actors	.	the	story	also	goes	deep	enough	to	provide	a	proper	background	so	the	audience	is	not	totally	clueless	.	altogether	good	performances	were	put	in	by	all	the	cast	and	the	director	blended	everything	marvelously	with	the	necessary	special	effects	to	create	a	good	movie	.	a	movie	well	worth	seeing	if	you	are	up	for	some	lighthearted	and	witty	humor	.	as	most	movies	have	their	good	things	they	also	have	their	bad	things	.	the	character	development	in	this	movie	was	not	all	that	grand	because	it	didn't	need	to	be	.	but	if	there	was	more	character	development	and	if	there	was	some	development	of	the	alien	characters	that	might	have	added	quite	considerable	to	the	movie	.	especially	the	evil	alien	,	he	did	need	some	work	.	though	this	could	have	been	worked	on	,	the	movie	was	what	it	proposed	to	be	a	rather	shallow	and	witty	comedy	.	that	was	achieved	rather	well	,	with	some	interesting	commentary	and	observations	.	a	movie	worth	a	view	,	but	keep	in	mind	what	the	movie	is	and	if	you	are	not	fond	of	will	smith's	form	of	humor	then	i	wouldn't	go	.	originally	written	after	original	release	.	totally	rewritten	december	26	,	1997	hr	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	bootsector	hotmail	.	com	"	bootsector	hotmail	.	com	a	web	:	www	.	imactive	.	com	bootsector	hr
pos	cast	:	kim	novak	,	james	garner	,	tony	randall	,	howard	morris	,	howard	duff	,	oskar	homolka	i	love	this	movie	,	and	i've	just	seen	for	the	umptenth	time	.	unfortunately	,	it	is	also	completly	unknown	and	very	few	have	seen	it	.	it's	my	mission	in	life	to	spread	the	word	:	see	this	movie	!	fred	,	george	,	doug	and	howie	are	reaching	middleage	.	three	of	them	have	a	wife	,	kids	and	a	house	in	the	suburb	with	a	mortgage	to	pay	.	only	fred	is	still	a	bachelor	.	together	they	take	the	local	train	every	morning	to	work	in	town	.	on	one	of	their	organized	thursday	evenings	at	a	bar	,	fred	tells	them	of	his	boss	and	the	arrangements	he	has	made	to	keep	a	mistress	.	he	has	gotten	an	apartment	in	downtown	where	he	can	meet	her	but	has	told	his	wife	that	he	needs	the	apartment	to	spend	the	night	after	staff	meetings	every	thursday	night	.	since	they	always	split	everything	four	ways	,	they	decide	that	they	should	get	an	apartment	with	a	young	woman	as	well	,	kathy	.	however	,	kathy	isn't	completly	honest	to	them	.	in	fact	,	she	is	a	sociology	student	writing	a	thesis	about	the	sex	life	of	the	suburban	male	.	with	these	four	species	she	believes	that	she	will	make	a	very	good	paper	.	ok	,	have	one	thing	clear	though	.	the	romantic	rendezvous'	between	kathy	and	each	of	the	men	are	completly	innocent	.	the	script	stays	above	the	waist	or	to	be	precise	,	above	the	neck	.	noboyd	claims	that	kathy	is	their	mistress	,	the	four	guys	call	her	their	'companion'	.	the	censorship	board	here	in	sweden	considered	it	to	be	suitable	only	for	people	above	15	years	,	but	that	only	shows	how	long	ago	1962	was	.	small	children	could	watch	this	without	being	corrupted	.	kim	novak	is	as	lovely	as	always	in	this	movie	,	even	if	she	seems	to	be	a	bit	too	old	for	a	student	.	james	garner	is	the	playboy	just	like	in	many	other	movies	.	i	liked	howard	morris	the	best	as	howard	the	accountant	who	has	to	diet	to	support	his	wife	.	tony	randall	is	funny	as	always	.	1962	was	more	than	35	years	ago	.	how	many	accountants	,	copywriters	or	investment	bankers	can	today	afford	to	live	in	a	house	in	the	suburb	with	a	lot	of	kids	and	a	wife	who	does	not	work	?	this	is	the	white	middle	class	,	i	can't	remember	that	i	saw	any	blacks	on	the	commuter	train	they	use	.	these	are	the	people	who	can	count	on	their	kids	to	live	an	even	better	life	than	themselves	.	perhaps	this	should	also	be	a	subject	for	a	thesis	in	movie	sociology	?
pos	jake	kasdan	,	son	of	one	of	the	best	screenwriters	around	,	breaks	into	filmmaking	by	writing	and	directing	this	hard	to	categorize	detective	story	:	part	mystery	,	part	comedy	,	part	character	study	and	part	romance	.	for	the	most	part	,	kasdan	manages	to	combine	the	genres	successfully	and	create	a	captivating	film	.	daryl	zero	(	bill	pullman	)	is	a	modern	day	sherlock	holmes	.	the	parallel	is	present	down	to	his	love	of	music	(	though	zero	plays	the	guitar	rather	than	the	violin	)	,	and	his	addiction	to	drugs	(	amphetamines	,	rather	than	morphine	)	.	he	even	titles	his	cases	with	such	sherlockian	epigrams	as	the	case	of	the	mismatched	shoelaces	,	the	case	about	the	man	who	lied	about	his	age	,	or	the	case	of	the	hired	gun	who	made	way	way	too	many	mistakes	.	however	zero's	observance	of	the	fine	art	of	detachment	,	though	it	makes	him	a	brilliant	private	investigator	,	makes	him	somewhat	of	a	self	imposed	outcast	in	society	.	he	could	do	nothing	without	the	legwork	of	his	trusty	assistant	dr	.	watson	,	i	mean	steve	arlo	(	ben	stiller	)	.	arlo	is	not	happy	with	his	job	.	he	is	thrilled	to	be	around	zero's	brilliance	,	but	his	bizarre	behavior	,	and	strange	requests	,	are	frustrating	to	the	former	lawyer	.	and	they're	even	more	so	to	his	girlfriend	,	jess	(	angela	featherstone	)	,	who	is	fed	up	that	her	boyfriend's	boss	means	more	to	arlo	than	her	.	this	is	the	situation	when	a	new	case	comes	knocking	.	gregory	stark	(	ryan	o'neill	)	hires	zero	to	find	his	lost	keys	.	it	seems	that	he	kept	a	safety	deposit	box	key	on	the	ring	,	and	the	box	apparently	contains	some	incriminating	evidence	.	now	,	stark	is	being	blackmailed	,	and	needs	to	reclaim	his	key	before	the	nightmare	can	end	.	to	solve	this	case	,	zero	reluctantly	crawls	out	of	his	shell	.	however	,	this	is	when	he	is	vulnerable	.	.	.	and	this	time	he	falls	for	charms	of	a	wily	paramedic	,	gloria	sullivan	(	kim	dickens	)	,	who	may	be	involved	in	the	blackmail	scheme	.	for	the	first	time	,	zero	has	to	question	his	own	objectivity	,	as	he	finds	his	client	less	and	less	sympathetic	.	zero	effect	is	weakest	in	its	obviously	"	wacky	"	scenes	depicting	daryl	zero's	odd	behavior	.	such	scenes	might	be	appropriate	in	an	out	and	out	satire	,	making	zero	an	ace	ventura	ish	character	.	however	,	there's	a	much	meatier	movie	in	here	.	.	.	it	just	takes	a	while	to	get	out	.	that's	not	to	say	that	there's	not	a	place	for	humor	in	this	film	.	in	fact	,	some	of	the	best	scenes	are	ben	stiller's	wonderfully	underplayed	comic	moments	of	absolute	disgust	and	frustration	with	his	employer	.	however	,	the	over	the	top	scenes	never	quite	gel	with	the	rest	of	the	film	,	and	they	aren't	funny	enough	to	stand	on	their	own	.	once	the	investigation	is	underway	,	however	,	zero's	brilliance	really	begins	to	shine	.	his	lightning	quick	inferences	are	as	fascinating	as	many	of	sherlock's	own	.	as	the	mystery	begins	to	unfold	,	zero's	deductions	lead	the	plot	in	interesting	directions	,	but	never	lose	the	viewer	.	zero	effect	works	well	during	its	romantic	scenes	as	well	.	zero's	relationship	with	gloria	is	low	key	,	but	it	hits	all	the	right	notes	.	however	,	we	are	always	kept	distant	from	gloria's	character	.	she's	given	plenty	of	development	,	but	we	never	understand	what	she	is	thinking	.	perhaps	that	may	be	intentional	:	to	place	the	audience	in	zero's	zone	of	detachment	.	but	,	on	the	whole	,	it	is	frustrating	.	bill	pullman	,	when	he's	not	spacing	out	,	creates	a	vibrant	character	in	daryl	zero	.	there's	one	moment	when	zero	briefly	connects	to	the	world	which	he	has	managed	to	detach	from	for	many	years	,	and	it	is	shockingly	moving	.	.	.	expressing	a	seriousness	that	heretofore	was	unassociated	with	the	character	,	but	one	which	fits	in	well	.	and	,	although	it	is	sometimes	hard	to	take	a	detective	called	"	zero	"	seriously	,	it	is	at	this	moment	that	the	viewer	understands	the	meaning	behind	the	name	.	although	zero	effect	is	a	bit	awkward	in	places	,	it	is	a	strong	debut	for	kasdan	,	and	shows	great	promise	.
pos	bob	the	happy	bastard's	quickie	review	:	brendan	fraser's	stuck	in	the	past	again	,	but	at	least	this	time	he	has	something	better	to	do	than	to	quote	sitcom	lines	and	try	to	woo	alicia	silverstone	.	.	.	fraser	is	the	lead	star	of	the	mummy	,	the	second	directorial	effort	from	action	director	stephen	sommers	(	who	also	brought	us	the	decent	thrill	ride	that	was	deep	rising	)	.	it's	a	rough	adaptation	of	the	1932	film	,	and	i	say	rough	because	it	focuses	more	on	special	effects	than	on	some	guy	in	bandages	,	like	boris	karloff	was	engulfed	in	.	but	who	cares	,	the	movie	has	a	sort	of	swashbuckling	quality	to	it	you	can't	get	from	,	oh	,	say	,	godzilla	or	armageddon	.	fraser	plays	a	soldier	who	gets	a	premonition	during	a	battle	with	soldiers	in	an	egyptian	ground	.	basically	,	it's	a	little	sign	from	the	mummy	buried	underneath	a	priest	named	ihmoetep	who	was	buried	alive	for	taking	part	of	murdering	the	king	and	making	out	with	his	mistress	.	his	plan	wake	back	up	and	wake	her	up	also	,	making	him	invincible	.	of	course	,	fraser	returns	to	the	site	years	later	with	a	librarian	(	rachel	weisz	)	and	her	brother	(	john	hanna	)	,	along	with	a	former	buddy	of	his	(	deep	rising's	kevin	j	.	o'connor	)	and	some	"	americans	"	.	.	.	and	guess	what	?	yup	,	ihmoetep	(	arnold	vosloo	)	awakens	and	wreaks	havoc	.	fire	flies	from	the	sky	,	flesh	eating	beetles	crawl	about	,	and	,	well	,	ihmoetep's	plan	begins	to	unfold	.	ok	,	so	it's	not	really	all	that	new	a	story	,	but	the	way	sommers	tells	it	is	entertaining	enough	.	the	special	effects	from	industrial	light	and	magic	are	top	notch	,	and	the	acting	from	fraser	and	weisz	isn't	half	bad	either	.	the	action	is	pretty	intense	(	favorite	scene	:	the	sandstorm	)	and	there	are	a	few	shocking	scenes	just	to	jolt	you	horror	loving	folks	as	well	.	no	,	it's	no	phantom	menace	beater	,	but	if	you're	looking	for	a	solid	warm	up	to	the	summer	movie	season	,	you	won't	find	a	better	film	under	wraps	than	the	mummy	.	if	this	doesn't	give	fraser	forgiveness	from	blast	from	the	past	and	encino	man	,	then	nothing	will	.
pos	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	'lethal	weapon	4'	is	the	film	mel	gibson	said	he	would	never	do	.	never	say	never	.	with	a	pay	cheque	of	20	million	dollars	and	a	guarantee	of	20	per	cent	of	the	film's	earnings	,	"	never	"	is	a	word	the	isn't	found	in	mel's	vocabulary	.	this	is	a	film	made	for	one	reason	and	one	reason	only	:	pure	profit	!	that	is	always	the	case	with	sequels	but	in	the	case	of	warner	brothers	,	it	is	particularly	a	show	of	desperation	since	they	have	had	a	number	of	flops	recently	and	need	a	hit	badly	.	i	don't	have	a	problem	with	movie	sequels	because	in	many	ways	,	they're	equivalent	to	visiting	an	old	friend	as	you	come	back	for	more	and	more	fun	each	time	.	'lethal	weapon	4'	isn't	a	terrible	movie	,	it's	just	one	too	many	and	the	franchise	is	starting	to	show	one	thing	:	age	!	mel	gibson	,	danny	glover	,	joe	pesci	and	rene	russo	are	all	starting	to	show	signs	of	aging	.	not	too	badly	but	in	comparison	to	the	other	films	:	a	lot	.	as	'lethal	weapon	4'	opens	,	the	streets	of	l	.	a	.	are	once	again	endangered	,	this	time	by	a	psychotic	,	protected	with	body	armor	who	fires	automatic	rounds	and	shots	from	a	flame	thrower	in	any	direction	he	pleases	.	riggs	and	murtaugh	(	gibson	and	glover	)	eventually	put	a	stop	to	his	antics	with	humourous	results	and	the	film	move	forward	from	there	.	the	central	plot	of	'lethal	weapon	4'	is	an	immigrant	smuggling	ring	run	by	an	old	asian	warlord	whose	right	hand	man	(	jet	li	)	is	a	cool	and	frightening	martial	arts	expert	who	silences	his	enemies	by	putting	his	moves	on	them	.	some	of	the	immigrants	brought	to	america	are	to	work	as	slaves	and	murtaugh	takes	a	family	under	his	wing	and	has	them	live	at	home	with	his	wife	and	children	as	a	way	of	understanding	how	slavery	affected	his	ancestors	.	all	the	while	illegal	but	definitely	the	humane	thing	to	do	.	riggs	and	his	girlfriend	lorna	(	rene	russo	)	are	expecting	a	baby	any	day	now	,	as	is	murtaugh's	daughter	who	is	married	to	a	cop	(	chris	rock	)	,	a	man	who	works	with	riggs	and	murtaugh	and	a	man	murtaugh	doesn't	know	is	married	to	his	daughter	because	she	was	afraid	to	tell	him	since	he	was	always	against	her	marrying	a	cop	.	murtaugh	later	finds	out	about	his	new	son	in	law	while	getting	high	on	some	dentist's	laughing	gas	and	the	humour	is	what	has	always	saved	these	movies	from	falling	into	the	abyss	.	this	movie	certainly	stays	within	the	tradition	of	slick	action	movies	with	the	key	emphasis	being	on	the	word	"	slick	"	.	the	slickest	and	best	installment	of	all	the	'lethal	weapon'	movies	is	2	which	had	the	most	bruising	story	and	climax	of	all	.	it	also	introduced	us	to	joe	pesci	as	leo	getz	who	became	the	comic	relief	of	the	series	and	although	his	character	was	badly	used	in	3	,	he	is	better	this	time	around	.	director	richard	donner	keeps	the	movie	alive	with	well	photographed	and	edited	scenes	of	action	and	ranks	as	one	of	the	action	genre's	most	talented	contributors	.	i'll	probably	put	'lethal	weapon	4'	in	my	video	collection	for	the	sake	of	uniting	it	with	other	members	of	its	family	but	i'll	probably	watch	it	the	least	as	it	is	the	least	of	all	the	'lethal	weapon'	movies	,	without	hesitation	.
pos	rated	r	for	horror	violence	and	gore	,	language	and	some	nudity	.	starring	:	geoffrey	rush	,	famke	jansen	,	ali	larter	,	brigette	wilson	,	taye	diggs	,	chris	kattan	,	lisa	loeb	,	james	marsters	.	running	time	:	115	minutes	so	here	is	the	second	of	1999's	remakes	of	classic	horror	movies	.	the	first	was	the	dumb	,	pathetic	but	ok	remake	of	the	classic	'the	haunting'	.	now	comes	the	highly	awaited	remake	of	house	on	haunted	hill	.	the	classic	which	starred	vincent	price	as	a	man	who	pays	a	group	of	people	100	,	000	to	stay	in	his	house	.	if	they	survive	the	night	they	get	the	money	.	if	not	well	you	get	the	jurisdiction	.	having	not	yet	seen	the	film	(	dvd	on	its	way	)	i	wasn't	sure	if	i	would	really	like	the	remake	.	but	sure	enough	it	comes	through	and	has	a	great	storyline	to	fall	back	on	.	geoffrey	rush	(	in	a	fantastic	role	with	an	incredible	performance	)	is	steven	price	,	the	owner	of	an	amusement	park	destined	to	scare	the	wits	out	of	people	.	his	wife	evelyn	price	is	throwing	a	party	with	her	friends	.	steven	dismays	at	the	idea	and	makes	his	own	list	.	somehow	someone	,	or	something	changes	that	list	and	five	other	people	are	invited	to	the	party	.	eddie	(	taye	diggs	)	an	ex	baseball	player	,	sarah	(	ali	carter	)	an	ex	assistant	who	can	re	wire	anything	,	melissa	(	brigette	wilson	)	a	talk	show	host	in	sorts	,	dr	.	blackburn	(	peter	ghallager	)	,	and	watson	(	chris	kattan	)	a	smart	mouthed	humorist	in	ways	.	what	he	is	gonna	do	is	pay	these	five	people	1	,	000	,	000	dollars	if	they	can	survive	through	the	night	.	if	they	can	they	get	the	money	,	if	not	well	they	don't	.	the	house	on	haunted	hill	used	to	be	an	insane	asylum	.	years	before	mental	patients	broke	out	and	killed	the	dr	.	there	,	forcing	him	to	lock	the	place	up	because	if	he	died	,	so	did	they	.	everyone	who	was	in	there	burned	to	death	.	now	it	is	steven	price's	home	and	he	is	throwing	this	party	for	these	five	people	.	what	starts	out	as	a	seemingly	normal	night	,	turns	into	a	horrifying	,	blood	splattering	night	.	the	deep	dark	secrets	of	what	really	happened	in	that	asylum	and	why	those	guests	are	actually	there	are	revealed	.	one	by	one	the	people	start	to	disappear	.	conspiracies	start	to	turn	up	,	and	steven	price	finds	out	that	his	house	may	be	alive	after	all	.	the	people	find	rooms	,	which	once	held	mental	patients	.	rooms	which	once	had	people	dying	.	rooms	which	may	still	contain	these	people	.	now	these	five	people	must	try	and	survive	the	night	and	try	and	survive	the	house	,	and	they	must	survive	each	other	with	terrorfying	results	.	since	i	officially	haven't	seen	the	original	i	can't	say	which	is	better	.	i	can	say	however	i	liked	this	movie	.	geoffrey	rush	gives	a	one	in	a	million	performance	as	the	rich	steven	price	,	and	does	a	great	job	doing	a	vincent	price	role	.	famke	jansen	as	his	wife	was	great	and	even	kind	of	eerie	at	times	.	ali	carter	and	taye	diggs	sort	of	become	the	main	characters	and	ali	carter	who	debuted	in	varsity	blues	gives	a	fantastic	performance	here	as	does	taye	diggs	.	chris	kattan	gives	us	great	comic	relief	and	the	movie	contains	a	lot	of	comical	lines	.	peter	ghallager	and	brigette	wilson	were	great	as	well	and	gave	commanding	performances	as	potential	victims	.	the	plot	was	well	conceived	and	was	very	absorbing	.	the	movie	has	atmosphere	the	whole	way	through	that	is	disturbing	and	creepy	,	and	even	sometimes	downright	scary	.	i	found	even	the	opening	credits	to	me	a	little	ominous	.	one	thing	i	knew	not	to	expect	was	a	'haunting'	type	movie	with	special	effects	galore	.	even	though	it	had	fantastic	gore	and	special	effects	,	the	movie	has	only	a	19	million	dollar	budget	,	which	doesn's	show	all	the	way	through	but	you	can	tell	.	the	movie	was	written	well	,	and	it's	only	major	flaw	is	the	under	developed	characters	and	plot	holes	that	we	are	left	with	.	the	ending	is	quite	clever	and	some	may	not	even	get	it	.	i	must	say	house	on	haunted	hill	was	a	surprise	.	i	was	expecting	another	haunting	with	special	effects	,	no	scares	and	a	dumb	ending	.	instead	i	found	a	good	halloween	movie	with	gore	,	scares	and	great	acting	.	house	on	haunted	hill	is	one	of	those	movies	you	really	can't	take	seriously	.	though	it	is	a	well	made	movie	with	a	good	storyline	it	still	has	some	flaws	.	but	besides	that	the	movie	is	fun	,	smart	and	scary	and	makes	us	wonder	why	remakes	like	this	can't	be	made	all	the	time	!	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	october	28	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	movie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	warning	!	:	may	contain	some	mild	spoilers	and	offensive	material	.	rated	:	r	(	!	)	for	sexual	content	,	crude	and	sexual	humor	,	and	some	nudity	.	.	(	a	mild	r	rating	)	starring	:	rob	schneider	,	oded	fehr	,	eddie	griffin	,	arija	bareikis	,	amy	poehler	,	norm	mcdonald	.	"	deuce	bigalow	:	male	gigolo	"	is	simply	a	hilarious	good	natured	comedy	that	may	offend	some	,	but	underneath	all	it's	crude	humor	and	sexual	content	is	a	sweet	little	love	story	that	is	surprisingly	involving	.	it	isn't	any	kind	of	cinematic	classic	,	but	it's	a	very	very	funny	comedy	that	keeps	us	entertained	until	the	end	credits	which	themselves	are	funny	too	.	it	has	all	it	needs	to	be	a	breezy	entertaining	comedy	:	the	acting	is	up	to	pace	and	some	of	the	performances	quite	funny	,	the	screenplay	is	witty	and	smart	,	and	the	whole	story	is	sweet	and	cute	.	deuce	bigalow	(	rob	schneider	)	is	your	typically	average	guy	:	he	cleans	fish	tanks	for	a	living	and	gets	an	average	of	10	bucks	for	it	.	though	one	might	call	him	a	loser	,	deuce	gets	a	job	he	would	never	thought	he	would	get	.	he	gets	to	clean	the	tank	for	a	male	gigolo	(	oded	fehr	)	and	gets	offered	to	watch	over	his	place	while	he	goes	on	a	trip	.	trying	to	be	like	him	he	hangs	upside	down	from	a	pole	and	accidentally	pushes	off	the	fishtank	and	burns	his	cabinets	.	the	thing	is	now	he	has	to	try	and	find	6	,	000	dollars	in	three	weeks	to	make	sure	everything	looks	right	again	.	so	he	decides	to	go	"	man	whoring	"	and	to	his	luck	gets	the	oddest	people	on	earth	:	an	over	weight	woman	who	decidedly	wants	to	eat	everything	in	site	,	a	woman	with	narcolepsy	who	sleeps	all	the	time	,	a	woman	who	has	sudden	screaming	outbursts	,	and	a	woman	he	can't	stop	thinking	about	.	he	charges	10	but	he	is	willing	to	negotiate	.	from	now	on	he	is	considered	deuce	bigalow	:	male	gigolo	.	with	non	stop	laughs	an	a	abundence	of	crude	humor	"	deuce	bigalow	:	male	gigolo	"	is	sometimes	like	last	years	hit	"	there's	something	about	mary	"	that	is	offensive	but	very	funny	.	the	screenplay	by	harris	goldberg	and	rob	schneider	himself	is	a	smart	,	clever	and	witty	screenplay	that	seems	to	have	been	written	with	care	to	make	is	so	hilariously	funny	.	the	characters	in	the	film	are	all	actually	likable	especially	"	jabba	lady	"	with	her	big	body	but	soft	heart	.	there	are	actually	times	in	the	movie	where	i	fell	out	of	my	chair	laughing	so	hard	that	my	stomach	was	killing	me	.	even	though	i	thought	"	toy	story	2	"	and	"	being	john	malkovich	"	were	the	funniest	of	the	year	"	deuce	bigalow	"	follows	right	behind	them	.	the	directing	by	mike	mitchell	is	fantastic	and	shows	he	took	time	on	the	film	.	rob	schneider	gives	a	surprisingly	endearing	performance	and	when	his	romance	develops	with	one	of	his	customers	kate	(	arija	bareikis	)	it	is	a	sweet	romance	that	we	get	involved	in	and	actually	like	being	involved	in	it	.	"	deuce	bigalow	"	is	a	good	natured	film	worth	all	the	merit	it	can	get	.	its	not	a	classic	or	a	masterpiece	,	it's	just	a	comedy	that	we	don't	feel	bad	about	watching	.	sure	it	may	come	off	as	offensive	and	may	come	off	as	dumb	sometimes	,	but	you	cannot	deny	that	it	isn't	funny	.	"	deuce	bigalow	:	male	gigolo	"	is	no	disappointment	.	its	a	fast	paced	,	entertaining	sweet	and	hilarious	comedy	that	may	be	destined	to	become	a	cult	classic	.	fans	of	schneider	will	not	be	disappointed	and	fans	of	crude	but	nice	comedies	will	not	either	.	for	some	reason	the	film	garnered	an	r	rating	but	with	no	"	f	words	"	or	extensive	use	of	sexual	content	or	explicit	nudity	i	was	really	wondering	why	the	film	was	r	.	a	mild	r	to	put	it	to	the	least	,	but	even	if	your	under	17	or	above	at	least	13	this	film	is	good	enough	for	you	to	see	.	don't	try	to	be	one	of	those	people	who	make	so	much	of	a	film	that	they	do	not	like	it	,	just	sit	back	,	laugh	and	enjoy	the	movie	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	december	9	,	1999brandon	herring	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	oliver	stone's	latest	feature	is	the	last	one	standing	in	the	long	line	of	biographies	of	american	presidents	.	it's	a	three	hour	long	saga	about	the	life	of	one	of	the	most	hated	and	misunderstood	leaders	of	the	20th	century	.	stone	doesn't	hold	back	anything	as	he	digs	deep	inside	politics	and	legal	maneuvers	of	the	white	house	.	the	director	holds	nixon	responsible	for	everything	he	has	done	.	at	the	same	time	he	creates	a	very	human	character	,	a	brilliant	and	tortured	man	that	is	caught	in	the	dirty	game	of	politics	,	which	is	here	pictured	as	a	wild	animal	.	he	is	simply	trying	to	tame	it	.	but	the	occasional	switch	to	the	raging	sky	and	the	clouds	swiftly	fleeing	over	the	white	house	as	events	run	ahead	of	the	president's	ability	to	control	them	.	stone	doesn't	in	any	way	apologize	for	nixon	.	he	blames	not	only	nixon's	own	character	flaws	but	also	the	imperial	presidency	itself	,	the	system	that	,	once	set	in	motion	,	behaves	with	a	mindlessness	of	its	own	.	"	nixon	"	is	a	modern	shakespeare	story	a	saga	about	a	ruler	destroyed	by	his	fatal	flaws	.	there's	something	almost	majestic	about	the	process	:	as	nixon	goes	down	in	this	film	,	there	is	no	gloating	,	but	a	watery	sigh	,	as	of	a	great	ship	sinking	.	sir	anthony	hopkins	is	staggering	and	plays	nixon	with	incredible	honesty	and	understanding	,	creating	a	very	emotional	picture	of	the	37th	american	president	.	joan	allen's	magnificent	and	captivating	performance	is	certainly	worth	an	oscar	statuette	.	she	is	strong	and	loyal	as	mrs	.	nixon	.	the	rest	of	the	cast	is	equally	magnificent	,	including	:	james	woods	,	j	.	t	.	walsh	,	paul	sorvino	,	ed	harris	and	bob	hoskins	.	everyone	does	a	serious	and	demanding	job	,	no	one	are	disappointing	.	stone	never	loses	focus	and	his	direction	is	steddy	,	honest	and	determined	.	he	is	displaying	the	historical	facts	and	at	the	same	time	concentrating	at	the	human	element	.	at	times	he	is	showing	to	black	and	white	showing	flashbacks	from	nixon's	youth	and	childhood	.	the	flashy	editing	by	brian	berdan	and	frank	corwin	,	robert	richardson's	rich	cinematography	and	john	williams'	musical	score	create	a	hectic	and	bizarre	atmosphere	.	the	film's	only	fault	is	that	it's	a	bit	tiering	and	overloaded	with	too	much	political	material	and	legal	maneuvers	.	still	it's	an	honest	and	captivating	a	solid	piece	of	movie	making	.
pos	starring	:	val	kilmer	(	bruce	wayne	batman	)	,	jim	carrey	(	edward	nygma	the	riddler	)	,	tommy	lee	jones	(	harvey	dent	two	face	)	,	chris	o'donnell	(	dick	grayson	robin	)	,	nicole	kidman	(	dr	.	chase	meridian	)	,	michael	gough	(	alfred	pennyworth	)	,	pat	hingle	(	commissioner	gordon	)	,	drew	barrymore	(	sugar	)	,	debi	mazar	(	spice	)	directed	by	:	joel	schumacher	,	written	by	:	lee	batchler	janet	scott	batchler	and	akiva	goldsman	,	based	on	characters	created	by	bob	kane	rated	pg	13	by	the	mpaa	for	violence	,	strong	language	,	and	a	sexual	implication	or	two
pos	capsule	:	russ	meyer's	most	popular	movie	hasn't	dated	badly	,	and	it	serves	as	the	best	introduction	to	the	mammary	mad	director	.	i	wasn't	too	sure	what	to	think	when	john	waters	raved	in	his	memoirs	that	faster	,	pussycat	!	was	"	the	best	film	ever	made	"	.	chalk	that	up	to	waters'	love	of	high	trash	cinema	,	i	guess	.	exactly	how	much	credit	,	and	for	what	,	to	give	to	meyer	is	a	seriously	debatable	question	.	one	thing	i	don't	doubt	was	that	he	made	a	campy	,	magnetic	,	high	energy	movie	that	hasn't	dated	all	that	badly	much	better	than	many	of	the	other	movies	he	made	at	the	time	.	(	and	because	all	the	eroticism	is	implied	,	that	makes	it	only	smuttier	and	therefore	more	fascinating	.	)	faster	,	pussycat	!	gives	us	three	go	go	dancers	who	head	out	into	the	desert	to	race	their	cars	.	(	i	couldn't	help	thinking	that	meyer	would	have	had	endless	fun	with	a	scene	where	one	of	them	explains	her	ambitions	to	eventually	enter	law	school	,	making	love	to	a	support	pillar	during	the	whole	conversation	.	)	after	meeting	up	with	a	whitebread	innocent	couple	,	varla	(	tura	satana	)	gets	fed	up	with	being	one	upped	,	and	kills	the	guy	with	a	few	well	placed	karate	blows	.	they	kidnap	the	girl	and	keep	her	sedated	while	trying	to	figure	out	what	to	do	next	although	it	sort	of	hits	them	over	the	head	:	at	a	gas	station	,	they	learn	than	a	weird	old	cripple	and	his	sons	live	in	the	area	,	harboring	a	massive	fortune	.	no	prizes	for	guessing	what	happens	next	.	the	movie's	loaded	with	things	that	have	since	become	pop	cinema	staples	:	bizarre	camera	angles	and	editing	,	improbable	character	pairings	,	bizarre	fights	.	one	of	the	most	memorable	scenes	has	satana	vs	.	one	of	the	old	man's	sons	.	she's	trying	to	run	him	into	a	wall	with	her	speedster	,	and	he's	holding	her	car	at	bay	with	his	bare	hands	,	the	wheels	digging	a	huge	ditch	.	satana's	idea	of	karate	has	nothing	on	jackie	chan	,	but	it's	not	hard	to	see	how	a	woman	using	violence	against	a	man	in	the	late	sixties	,	on	screen	,	could	be	construed	as	really	shocking	.	she	isn't	flashy	;	she's	trying	to	do	damage	.	she	means	business	.	as	the	model	(	or	at	least	the	center	of	inspiration	)	for	the	rest	of	the	women	in	the	film	,	tura	satana	eats	up	the	screen	without	even	trying	.	she	reminds	me	of	the	extremely	fetishistic	,	almost	representational	ways	women	are	depicted	in	x	rated	japanese	manga	:	gigantic	chest	,	mask	like	face	,	drill	instructor's	voice	.	she	reportedly	received	a	deluge	of	fan	mail	after	the	movie	came	out	,	mostly	from	men	who	either	wanted	to	marry	her	or	be	flogged	by	her	.	most	of	the	reason	you	can't	look	away	from	the	screen	is	her	,	and	it's	not	because	she's	attractive	,	or	even	sexy	.	she's	terrifying	,	especially	when	meyer	shoves	the	camera	down	on	the	desert	floor	,	somewhere	between	her	toes	,	and	has	her	stare	down	at	us	.	what	we	wind	up	with	,	incredibly	,	is	probably	the	wellspring	of	almost	every	butch	femme	empowerment	image	.	i'm	not	sure	madonna	or	pat	califa	would	exist	as	we	know	them	,	without	something	like	faster	,	pussycat	!	as	part	of	the	ambient	background	noise	in	american	culture	.	then	again	,	maybe	i'm	crediting	him	with	too	much	.	but	then	i	watched	ralph	fiennes	get	the	cheese	kicked	out	of	him	by	a	green	haired	punk	girl	in	strange	days	,	and	thought	:	maybe	too	much	credit	isn't	nearly	enough	!	posted	via	deja	news	,	the	leader	in	internet	discussion	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	a	now	offering	spam	free	web	based	newsreading
pos	(	out	of	4	)	at	first	glance	,	it	appears	that	the	home	alone	movies	are	brainless	slapstick	intended	for	those	with	minds	of	8	year	olds	.	that's	true	of	home	alone	2	and	i'd	bet	money	that	it's	true	of	home	alone	3	(	opening	soon	)	.	but	home	alone	actually	has	a	lot	going	for	it	,	and	the	cartoon	slapstick	doesn't	get	in	the	way	.	the	mcalisters	,	all	15	of	them	,	are	going	to	france	for	the	holidays	.	four	adults	and	eleven	kids	are	spending	the	night	together	before	heading	to	the	airport	en	masse	.	the	littlest	kid	,	kevin	,	is	the	victim	of	the	older	kids'	cruelty	.	kevin's	patience	runs	out	when	he	learns	that	his	plain	cheese	pizza	has	already	been	eaten	,	and	he's	going	to	have	to	starve	.	he	attacks	his	big	bully	brother	buzz	,	who	had	been	teasing	him	.	the	fight	disrupts	the	already	chaotic	dinner	,	spilling	milk	and	soft	drinks	all	over	the	table	,	a	few	cousins	,	and	an	uncle	.	the	knee	jerk	reaction	is	for	everyone	to	blame	kevin	.	nobody	came	to	his	rescue	when	he	was	being	teased	,	but	they	all	point	their	fingers	when	he	fights	back	.	the	ultimate	punishment	comes	from	mom	(	catherine	o'hara	)	who	sends	him	up	to	the	spare	bedroom	in	the	attic	for	the	night	.	on	his	way	up	the	stairs	,	he	tells	her	that	"	families	suck	"	and	that	he	hopes	never	to	see	any	of	his	family	again	.	that	night	the	power	goes	out	,	knocking	out	the	alarm	clocks	,	so	the	mcalisters	wake	up	in	a	big	hurry	to	get	to	the	airport	.	in	a	surprisingly	plausible	setup	,	kevin	is	mistakenly	accounted	for	,	and	the	family	heads	off	without	him	.	it's	interesting	that	,	in	a	subtle	way	,	his	parents	never	noticed	him	missing	because	of	their	deliberate	desire	to	separate	themselves	from	their	children	.	first	they	delegate	the	headcount	to	an	older	sibling	,	and	second	,	they	put	all	the	kids	in	coach	while	they	fly	first	class	.	they're	two	thirds	of	the	way	across	the	atlantic	before	they	realize	they	are	missing	a	child	.	meanwhile	,	kevin	believes	that	somehow	his	wish	has	come	true	.	he's	finally	rid	of	his	family	!	life	is	a	dream	come	true	.	he	can	jump	on	the	beds	,	watch	r	rated	movies	,	eat	gobs	of	ice	cream	and	potato	chips	,	and	dig	through	his	big	brother's	secret	box	.	slowly	,	the	novelty	wears	off	and	he	settles	into	the	mundane	.	he	grooms	himself	,	he	does	the	laundry	,	he	goes	shopping	(	"	i	bought	some	milk	,	eggs	,	and	fabric	softener	"	)	.	he	also	starts	to	miss	his	family	,	not	just	for	their	company	,	but	for	the	security	they	bring	.	the	furnace	in	the	basement	is	a	scary	monster	,	the	old	man	next	door	is	a	snow	shovel	murderer	,	and	two	crooks	are	trying	to	break	into	his	house	.	macaulay	culkin	is	cute	but	he	isn't	much	of	an	actor	.	still	,	we	can	see	that	kevin's	character	grows	,	thanks	to	some	good	direction	and	editing	.	for	example	,	acting	has	little	to	do	with	the	emotional	impact	of	the	scene	where	kevin	searches	out	a	seasonal	santa	at	night	,	just	as	"	santa	"	is	getting	in	his	car	.	kevin	asks	the	man	to	pass	on	his	request	he	wants	his	family	back	to	the	real	santa	.	he	learned	how	to	deal	with	the	furnace	.	you	turn	on	the	lights	and	it's	not	so	scary	anymore	.	he	goes	to	a	church	one	evening	and	there	he	sees	the	snow	shovel	murderer	,	who	actually	turns	out	to	be	a	nice	man	.	they	talk	about	their	fears	and	kevin	learns	that	age	alone	does	not	make	you	less	afraid	.	finally	,	in	the	last	20	minutes	,	kevin	confronts	his	last	fear	the	bandits	,	head	on	(	literally	)	.	this	last	act	is	full	of	violent	comedic	slapstick	,	and	after	the	movie's	genuine	dramatic	setup	,	it	is	dessert	.	it's	a	lot	of	fun	,	and	it	doesn't	overwhelm	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	on	the	whole	,	home	alone	is	a	great	holiday	movie	.	john	williams'	original	score	has	the	sound	and	feel	of	holiday	music	without	the	disadvantage	of	being	overplayed	at	the	malls	,	and	the	christmas	setting	can	put	you	in	the	mood	for	those	family	gatherings	.	but	it	does	have	its	flaws	.	the	smallest	problem	is	that	culkin	doesn't	act	very	well	.	as	i	said	before	,	he	is	cute	,	but	repeated	viewings	reveal	more	about	how	columbus	covered	himself	than	about	culkin's	insight	into	his	character	.	the	biggest	problem	is	that	during	the	cartoony	coda	,	the	villains	threaten	kevin's	life	about	five	times	.	instead	of	"	i'm	gonna	get	that	kid	"	they	say	"	i'm	gonna	kill	that	kid	.	"	some	might	argue	that	the	tone	is	the	same	,	but	i	strongly	disagree	.	mixing	comedy	with	specific	and	viable	threats	of	murder	is	a	sociopathic	faux	pas	.	i'll	probably	never	see	home	alone	3	,	and	i	wish	i	had	skipped	home	alone	2	,	but	i	do	enjoy	home	alone	almost	every	year	.	don't	let	your	impressions	of	the	others	detract	from	the	original	,	which	has	much	more	to	offer	than	cartoon	slapstick	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	mr	.	saturday	night	(	1992	)	1	2	directed	by	billy	crystal	.	written	by	billy	crystal	,	lowell	ganz	,	babaloo	mandel	.	editing	,	ken	beyda	.	music	,	marc	shaiman	.	production	design	,	albert	brenner	.	produced	by	billy	crystal	and	peter	schindler	.	cast	:	billy	crystal	,	david	paymer	,	julie	warner	,	helen	hunt	,	mary	mara	,	jerry	orbach	,	ron	silver	,	sage	allen	,	michael	weiner	,	jerry	lewis	,	et	al	.	a	columbia	release	.	110	min	.	rated	r	(	language	)	.	language	is	constantly	inventing	or	reviving	expressions	.	two	current	ones	are	illustrated	by	comedian	billy	crystal	playing	comedian	buddy	young	,	jr	.	and	dedicating	his	life	to	in	your	face	jokes	that	keep	pushing	the	envelope	.	created	by	crystal	in	1984	for	hbo	and	repeated	on	"	saturday	night	live	,	"	buddy	now	gets	full	,	favorite	comic	treatment	in	crystal's	excellent	directorial	start	.	the	character	is	fine	honed	,	assuming	you	can	say	this	about	someone	whose	humor	is	not	exactly	wildeian	or	shavian	.	"	mr	.	saturday	night	"	is	the	biography	of	now	aged	buddy	and	his	brother	stan	,	told	in	alternating	flashbacks	and	flashforwards	,	with	nearly	equal	time	given	to	the	present	.	the	two	yankelman	boys	are	broad	,	in	house	comics	who	keep	their	family	in	stitches	.	at	their	first	public	appearance	on	amateur	nite	(	sic	)	,	stan	,	18	,	gets	cold	feet	,	but	remains	in	the	wings	,	encouraging	abie	,	16	,	who	,	at	the	last	second	,	has	taken	on	the	name	of	buddy	young	,	jr	.	nice	,	quiet	,	sensitive	stan	,	stays	on	with	the	raucous	buddy	as	the	latter	serves	his	apprenticeship	and	reaches	specialized	fame	in	the	borscht	belt's	circuit	,	culminating	at	grossinger's	in	1950	.	while	buddy	convulses	his	audiences	,	stan	,	in	the	background	,	is	a	perfect	definition	of	"	factotum	.	"	he	is	figaro	to	buddy's	count	almaviva	,	his	manager	,	gofer	,	soundboard	,	as	well	as	the	butt	of	his	brother's	whims	and	ego	.	occasionally	too	becomes	an	unwilling	,	resentful	pimp	,	as	when	he	brings	to	buddy	an	admirer	,	elaine	(	julie	warner	)	.	stan	is	attracted	to	her	but	it	is	buddy	who	marries	the	charming	young	woman	.	buddy	rises	to	becoming	an	increasingly	important	las	vegas	performer	,	though	always	billed	below	the	headliners	.	in	a	clever	bit	,	his	appearance	on	the	ed	sullivan	show	is	a	catastrophe	,	since	he	follows	the	beatles	before	a	frenzied	,	hysterical	audience	of	youths	.	still	,	he	does	get	tv	celebrity	as	"	mr	.	saturday	night	,	"	though	never	attaining	superstardom	.	actors	never	stop	acting	in	real	life	,	but	this	isn't	always	evident	.	most	comics	are	non	stop	performers	too	,	but	the	nature	of	their	trade	is	such	that	their	off	stage	jokes	are	always	obvious	.	buddy	,	if	not	the	ultimate	,	is	the	archetypical	new	york	jewish	comedian	,	conceived	,	written	and	played	with	great	inside	track	knowledge	and	much	affection	,	colossal	warts	and	all	.	he	is	a	monomaniacally	compulsive	jokester	24	hours	a	day	,	to	the	point	that	only	one	liners	and	gags	count	for	him	.	being	so	set	in	his	tunnel	vision	ways	,	he	becomes	self	destructive	,	flubs	his	chances	,	loses	sponsors	and	exploits	even	those	who	love	him	(	brother	,	wife	,	daughter	)	,	through	neglect	and	jokes	at	their	expense	.	anything	for	a	laugh	,	any	time	.	buddy's	compulsive	,	incessant	joking	does	not	spare	events	such	as	his	wedding	,	the	birth	of	his	child	,	his	being	at	his	dying	mother's	side	,	even	her	funeral	too	.	yet	on	those	occasions	the	film	manages	sometimes	to	transcend	the	tacky	and	the	crude	,	and	can	introduce	bittersweet	moments	of	true	pathos	.	the	movie	is	a	two	hour	homage	to	generations	of	ethnic	jokemeisters	and	their	shticks	.	it	would	take	a	computer	to	analyze	all	the	ingredients	,	the	name	comics	who	enter	this	amalgam	.	yet	,	crystal's	buddy	is	both	a	composite	and	a	comic	in	his	own	right	.	but	he	is	no	human	being	by	common	norms	.	like	many	one	track	mind	professionals	,	he	is	self	centered	,	has	no	personal	dimensions	,	or	,	for	that	matter	,	a	meaningful	private	life	.	in	vague	terms	which	place	much	of	the	onus	on	buddy	,	we	learn	that	his	daughter's	life	has	been	a	failure	.	his	wife	,	the	lovely	elaine	,	was	introduced	in	1950	as	the	perfect	mate	:	witty	,	gutsy	,	lively	with	repartee	.	.	.	later	though	,	when	we	meet	her	repeatedly	,	she	has	receded	into	the	background	.	her	personality	has	disappeared	.	whilst	all	those	around	buddy	fade	into	stooges	or	supporting	characters	,	the	movie	makes	an	exception	by	sketching	with	deft	irony	and	much	affection	buddy's	mother	,	thus	salvaging	some	family	values	.	mostly	though	,	it	shows	with	sharp	realism	the	perpetual	insecurity	of	showbiz	people	,	even	at	the	height	of	their	reputation	.	above	all	,	the	movie	works	in	,	as	its	second	major	,	as	well	as	most	original	element	,	the	buddy	stan	relationship	,	ambiguous	yet	clear	,	built	on	narcissism	and	monstrous	insensitivity	on	one	side	,	antagonism	,	devotion	and	frustration	on	the	other	,	and	a	weird	kind	of	love	under	the	surface	.	as	stan	,	david	paymer	quietly	steals	every	scene	he	appears	in	.	when	,	"	tired	of	shlepwork	,	"	he	retires	,	the	film	almost	acquires	a	tragic	tinge	.	it	is	an	osca	caliber	performance	.	billy	crystal's	supercharged	acting	is	striking	too	,	as	a	monochord	,	more	obvious	tour	de	force	.	the	excellent	playing	extends	to	the	supporting	actors	:	young	agent	helen	hunt	who	tries	,	against	the	comic's	own	self	defeating	nature	,	to	give	the	aged	buddy	a	second	chance	;	jerry	orbach	as	her	boss	;	or	ron	silver	as	a	big	time	film	director	who	used	to	idolize	buddy	.	the	gallery	of	characters	is	also	reinforced	by	the	precise	physical	casting	of	two	youngsters	as	the	teen	age	brothers	,	and	by	the	make	up	of	stan	as	an	old	man	.	parchment	faced	buddy	however	,	in	spite	of	the	much	advertised	,	lengthy	cosmetic	sessions	,	made	me	uncomfortable	.	it	felt	as	though	the	eyes	were	peering	from	behind	a	plastic	mask	the	story's	structure	tends	to	be	a	bit	systematically	repetitious	.	it	hammers	its	points	,	especially	the	swinging	pendulum	between	rapport	and	alienation	in	the	two	brothers	.	in	the	last	act	you	sense	that	the	writers	are	desperately	seeking	a	wrap	up	.	and	since	movies	cannot	let	go	of	the	odd	notion	that	performers	,	whether	young	or	old	,	deserve	more	pathos	and	sympathy	than	anyone	else	,	"	mr	.	saturday	night	"	too	oversentimentalizes	the	actors	and	the	showbiz	profession	.	as	they	should	,	the	jokes	run	realistically	from	crude	to	indifferent	,	with	occasional	fresh	gems	.	equally	true	to	life	is	buddy's	repertory	,	strong	on	insults	but	cautious	on	political	issues	.	a	hilarious	,	lightning	fast	scene	with	bread	rolls	would	have	made	charlie	chaplin	proud	of	crystal	.	but	there	is	much	more	than	rib	tickling	to	this	suprisingly	complex	and	ultimately	affecting	view	of	a	lifetime	in	schlock	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	after	sixteen	years	francis	ford	copolla	has	again	returned	to	his	favorite	project	,	making	the	third	installment	in	the	godfather	trilogy	.	this	new	film	has	been	underrated	for	no	reason	.	it	is	as	intellectual	and	majestically	made	as	copolla's	pervious	films	.	it	is	also	more	psychological	,	pessimistic	and	more	tragic	than	the	first	two	.	the	only	regret	is	the	unconvincing	performance	by	the	newcomer	sofia	copolla	and	some	"	unfinished	"	developments	of	some	characters	.	the	film	elegantly	begins	with	nino	rota's	recognizable	musical	score	,	the	beautiful	skyscrapers	of	new	york	and	michael's	voice	as	he	is	writing	a	letter	to	his	children	:	"	the	only	wealth	in	this	world	is	children	.	more	than	all	money	and	power	on	earth	,	you	are	my	treasure	"	.	the	year	is	1979	and	michael	corleone	has	used	the	time	since	the	ending	of	"	part	ii	"	to	make	his	father's	dream	come	true	making	the	corleone	family	legitimate	.	michael	sold	all	his	casinos	and	invests	only	in	gambling	.	constantly	haunted	by	the	past	,	his	only	reason	to	live	is	his	children	.	the	family	has	amassed	unimaginable	wealth	,	and	as	the	film	opens	michael	corleone	(	al	pacino	)	is	being	invested	with	a	great	honor	by	the	church	.	later	that	day	,	at	a	reception	,	his	daughter	announces	a	corleone	family	gift	to	the	church	and	the	charities	of	sicily	,	"	a	check	in	the	amount	of	100	million	.	"	but	the	corleones	are	about	to	find	,	as	others	have	throughout	history	,	that	you	cannot	buy	forgiveness	.	sure	,	you	can	do	business	with	evil	men	inside	the	church	,	for	all	men	are	fallible	and	capable	of	sin	.	but	god	does	not	take	payoffs	.	the	plot	of	the	movie	,	concocted	by	coppola	and	mario	puzo	in	a	screenplay	inspired	by	headlines	,	brings	the	corleone	family	into	the	inner	circles	of	corruption	in	the	vatican	.	there	is	a	moment	in	"	godfather	iii	"	where	michael	says	:	"	all	my	life	i	have	been	trying	to	go	up	in	society	,	where	everything	was	legal	.	but	the	higher	i	go	,	the	crookier	it	becomes	.	.	"	.	visually	this	film	is	as	spectacular	as	the	first	two	.	gordon	willis'	rich	cinematography	,	carmine	copolla's	beautiful	composition	and	alex	tavoularis'	wonderful	art	direction	could	not	be	better	.	but	copolla's	first	two	godfather	films	were	more	famous	for	their	deep	,	intellectual	plots	,	tree	dimensional	characters	and	incredible	acting	,	than	for	their	visual	perfection	.	the	third	installment	has	only	the	plot	and	visuals	.	some	characters	could	be	much	more	developed	and	the	acting	,	although	good	,	never	accomplishes	to	reach	the	same	height	of	the	first	two	films	.	the	biggest	miscasting	is	sofia	copolla	,	who	is	so	unconvincing	and	unemotional	that	she	manages	to	ruin	several	scenes	throughout	the	movie	,	that	could	have	been	grander	and	more	emotional	.	the	best	performance	comes	unsurprisingly	from	al	pacino	,	who	should	have	got	a	nomination	for	best	actor	at	the	oscars	.	andy	garcia	is	powerful	as	sonny's	son	,	strong	,	focused	and	loyal	.	violence	is	natural	to	him	.	he	suffers	no	pangs	of	conscience	when	he	takes	revenge	on	his	family's	behalf	,	and	in	this	he	is	supposed	to	be	strong	in	the	uncomplicated	way	don	vito	corleone	was	.	however	both	kay	(	diane	keaton	)	and	connie	(	talia	shire	)	are	useless	.	and	characters	like	vito	corleone	and	tom	hagen	are	really	missed	.	the	good	part	is	that	michael	is	again	reunited	with	old	friends	,	that	you	remember	from	the	first	and	second	films	.	in	the	third	film	michael	has	become	almost	like	his	father	,	vito	in	the	first	film	and	vincenzo	resembles	michael	when	he	was	much	younger	.	this	parallel	could	be	more	interesting	if	vincenzo's	character	was	more	developed	.	many	have	pointed	out	that	making	the	third	film	,	was	unnecessary	.	i	disagree	.	it	is	a	beautiful	film	of	great	importance	,	completing	the	tragic	saga	of	the	corleone	family	.	the	first	film	showed	some	horrible	results	of	corleone's	life	.	it	showed	michael	making	a	choice	;	the	second	showed	a	man	damning	himself	for	his	choices	and	feeling	the	impact	of	changing	times	.	a	man	desperately	trying	to	keep	his	balance	,	focus	,	family	and	sanity	,	while	everything	is	crashing	all	around	him	.	the	third	film	is	a	terrifying	conclusion	a	result	of	michael's	life	.	the	life	he	chose	for	himself	is	like	quicksand	one	wrong	step	and	you	are	doomed	.	there	is	no	turning	back	.	and	no	matter	how	hard	you	try	to	get	out	of	it	,	to	free	yourself	,	no	matter	how	powerful	and	wealthy	you	are	,	you	are	helpless	sinking	deeper	and	deeper	till	it	swallows	you	completely	.	the	beautifully	directed	last	sequence	is	also	the	powerful	climax	of	the	film	,	when	michael	is	sitting	alone	in	his	chair	,	left	by	everyone	,	surrounded	by	emptiness	and	memories	of	his	friends	and	family	members	long	dead	.	here	he	dies	alone	,	miserable	and	unforgiven
pos	rated	r	fine	line	features	in	spanish	with	english	subtitles	starring	najwa	nimri	,	fele	martinez	,	nacho	novo	,	maru	valdivieso	,	kristel	diaz	,	victor	hugo	oliveira	,	sara	valiente	,	peru	medem	,	jaroslav	bielski	,	rosa	morales	written	and	directed	by	julio	medem	julio	medem's	poignant	,	unconventional	"	lovers	of	the	arctic	circle	"	is	a	film	that	shows	the	viewer	the	earthshaking	power	of	destiny	.	the	film	stars	najwa	nimri	and	fele	martinez	(	both	of	whom	starred	in	this	year's	other	spanish	import	"	open	your	eyes	"	)	as	ana	and	otto	,	two	people	with	palindromic	names	who	are	destined	to	be	lovers	.	we	learn	of	their	destinies	through	a	series	of	coincidences	;	coincidences	that	ana	says	,	through	voice	over	,	make	up	her	entire	life	.	when	ana	meets	otto	,	her	father	has	just	died	,	and	she	believes	that	his	soul	has	crossed	over	to	this	boy	.	fate	then	works	in	mysterious	ways	,	making	her	mom	and	otto's	dad	fall	in	love	.	while	she	is	still	a	child	,	she	only	looks	up	to	otto	in	a	paternal	way	.	otto	,	however	,	is	love	stricken	from	the	first	time	he	sees	ana	.	his	parents	have	just	gotten	a	divorce	and	he	is	going	through	problems	of	his	own	.	otto	and	ana	bond	together	in	their	time	of	loss	,	creating	a	kinship	based	on	empathy	.	as	they	become	teenagers	,	their	relationship	becomes	sexual	,	and	they	must	try	to	hide	their	affairs	from	their	very	naive	parents	.	as	they	get	older	,	though	,	they	begin	to	drift	apart	.	the	inevitable	tragedy	,	foreshadowed	in	the	film's	first	scene	,	draws	nearer	.	writer	director	julio	medem	crafts	a	highly	poetic	love	story	;	one	that	spans	the	circle	of	life	.	"	lovers	of	the	arctic	circle	"	gives	an	entirely	new	spin	on	the	age	old	tale	of	tragic	romance	.	the	camera	work	is	wondrous	and	the	characters	are	vivid	.	"	lovers	of	the	arctic	circle	"	gets	my	full	recommendation	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	directed	by	gregory	hoblit	.	screenplay	by	tobias	emmerich	.	starring	dennis	quaid	,	james	caviezel	,	elizabeth	mitchell	.	running	time	:	121	minutes	.	rated	aa	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	may	4th	,	2000	.	one	of	the	big	problems	with	many	movies	about	changing	history	is	that	they	tend	to	get	bogged	down	in	its	mechanics	.	the	difficulty	is	that	our	modern	understanding	of	time	is	still	incredibly	limited	,	so	any	such	discussion	will	by	its	very	nature	come	across	as	a	load	of	gobbledegook	.	good	movies	like	"	back	to	the	future	"	ignore	the	subject	altogether	,	or	at	most	give	it	a	passing	acknowledgement	.	their	makers	are	aware	that	the	fun	thing	about	time	isn't	how	it	works	,	but	how	it	can	be	used	in	a	dramatic	context	.	"	frequency	"	is	such	a	film	,	and	it	proves	to	be	one	of	the	most	entertaining	movies	of	the	year	so	far	.	john	sullivan	(	james	caviezel	)	is	a	cop	in	1999	new	york	.	he	has	just	broken	up	with	his	girlfriend	,	drinks	a	little	too	much	,	and	is	all	too	aware	that	it's	almost	the	thirtieth	anniversary	of	the	death	of	his	father	.	frank	sullivan	(	dennis	quaid	)	was	a	firefighter	who	perished	in	1969	rescuing	a	transient	from	a	warehouse	fire	.	one	night	,	john	happens	upon	his	dad's	old	ham	radio	,	mothballed	since	frank's	demise	.	for	old	times'	sake	,	he	switches	it	on	.	a	lot	of	things	were	happening	in	new	york	around	the	time	of	frank's	death	.	the	"	amazing	"	mets	were	on	their	way	to	winning	the	world	series	against	the	baltimore	orioles	.	a	serial	killer	murdered	four	nurses	before	vanishing	without	a	trace	.	and	the	aurora	borealis	the	northern	lights	was	making	a	rare	week	long	appearance	in	the	skies	above	the	city	.	in	1999	,	the	northern	lights	have	returned	to	new	york	for	the	first	time	in	three	decades	.	by	some	freak	accident	of	nature	,	this	allows	john	to	speak	to	frank	in	1969	via	the	ham	radio	.	john	manages	to	convince	his	father	that	he	really	is	communicating	from	the	future	by	predicting	events	of	the	mets	orioles	world	series	,	and	gives	him	enough	information	about	the	warehouse	fire	to	save	his	life	.	but	this	changes	the	whole	pattern	of	history	,	and	not	all	for	the	good	.	somehow	,	frank's	survival	has	meant	that	the	so	called	nightingale	killer's	death	toll	was	ten	instead	of	four	and	one	of	the	"	new	"	victims	was	john's	mother	julia	(	elizabeth	mitchell	)	.	frank	and	john	must	cooperate	across	the	years	to	stop	the	murderer	in	time	.	"	frequency	"	is	not	a	particularly	deep	movie	.	in	a	way	it's	about	the	relationship	between	fathers	and	sons	,	and	how	profoundly	the	absence	of	the	former	can	affect	the	latter	.	and	of	course	it	deals	with	the	familiar	science	fiction	notion	of	how	changing	one	seemingly	innocuous	event	can	have	major	ramifications	on	things	long	after	.	but	,	in	the	end	,	the	real	point	of	"	frequency	"	is	just	to	tell	a	good	story	,	and	in	this	it	excels	.	there	are	a	lot	of	great	scenes	in	which	frank	and	john's	altering	of	history	is	explored	,	not	on	a	pseudoscientific	level	but	on	a	purely	visceral	one	.	the	movie	doesn't	try	to	justify	its	temporal	mechanics	(	indeed	,	there	are	some	inconsistencies	in	how	frank's	actions	ripple	down	to	his	son	)	,	but	just	taps	into	our	sense	of	the	fantastic	.	for	example	,	at	one	point	frank	communicates	with	john	by	burning	a	message	into	his	desk	.	john	sees	the	letters	appear	one	by	one	and	touches	them	,	expecting	to	find	them	hot	.	but	of	course	they're	not	,	because	they	were	made	thirty	years	earlier	.	later	,	frank	acquires	a	wallet	with	the	murderer's	fingerprints	on	it	,	but	can't	go	to	the	police	in	1969	because	they'd	never	believe	his	story	.	so	he	hides	the	wallet	beneath	a	loose	floorboard	,	where	john	retrieves	it	in	1999	.	"	wow	,	"	breathes	frank	,	and	he	is	speaking	as	much	for	the	audience	as	for	himself	.	while	these	sorts	of	things	are	nothing	new	to	the	genre	,	rarely	have	they	been	done	so	well	and	with	such	enthusiasm	.	and	there	are	a	couple	of	particularly	imaginative	sequences	,	especially	a	visually	awesome	one	at	the	movie's	climax	.	the	only	real	downside	to	"	frequency	"	is	that	the	serial	killer	storyline	which	dominates	its	second	half	is	rather	pedestrian	.	this	is	not	to	say	that	it's	badly	done	it's	intriguing	enough	in	its	own	way	but	it	just	doesn't	live	up	to	the	wonder	which	permeates	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	scenes	like	one	where	frank	is	arrested	for	being	the	nightingale	killer	seem	commonplace	,	for	instance	,	and	the	proceedings	generally	feel	as	though	they've	been	lifted	out	of	an	uncommonly	bizarre	episode	of	"	law	and	order	"	.	but	even	this	is	energised	by	excellent	performances	from	caviezel	and	particularly	quaid	.	"	frequency	"	lives	or	dies	on	the	conviction	of	their	father	son	relationship	,	made	more	challenging	by	the	fact	that	their	communications	aren't	face	to	face	.	but	both	actors	are	up	to	the	task	,	bringing	genuine	emotion	to	the	story	.	as	a	result	,	it's	easy	to	suspend	our	disbelief	and	buy	into	the	movie	,	and	it's	hard	to	suppress	a	cheer	when	frank	survives	the	fire	,	or	when	father	and	son	team	up	to	stop	the	killer	.	director	gregory	hoblit	does	a	good	job	,	especially	in	keeping	the	frequent	and	potentially	dull	scenes	of	frank	and	john	talking	on	the	radio	alive	and	interesting	.	also	,	he	wisely	chooses	not	to	overplay	the	changes	father	and	son	have	wrought	on	the	present	.	although	some	differences	are	highlighted	,	many	others	are	left	as	subtle	background	detail	.	like	"	back	to	the	future	"	,	this	gives	the	film	a	richness	it	would	otherwise	be	lacking	.	"	frequency	"	has	a	broad	appeal	that's	rare	in	movies	today	.	it's	a	science	fiction	movie	where	the	characters	come	first	,	where	visual	effects	take	a	backseat	to	story	and	acting	,	but	which	is	exciting	and	suspenseful	nonetheless	.	"	frequency	"	probably	won't	win	any	academy	awards	,	but	it	was	one	of	the	most	enjoyable	cinematic	experiences	i've	had	in	a	long	time	.	and	,	in	the	end	,	i	can't	ask	for	much	more	than	that	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	frequency	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	frequency	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
pos	copyright	2001	planet	sick	boy	.	all	rights	reserved	.	with	his	last	two	films	shine	and	snow	falling	on	cedars	australian	director	scott	hicks	has	proven	his	cinematic	flashbacks	to	be	some	of	the	best	out	there	,	and	his	latest	,	hearts	in	atlantis	,	is	no	different	.	its	structure	beginning	and	ending	in	present	day	with	one	long	flashback	in	the	middle	is	similar	to	the	green	mile	,	which	is	a	bit	ironic	considering	both	were	based	on	stephen	king	books	.	the	parallels	don't	end	there	,	either	.	atlantis	was	adapted	by	william	goldman	,	who	had	previously	penned	the	big	screen	version	of	misery	and	is	in	the	process	of	working	on	the	script	for	king's	dreamcatcher	.	even	the	film's	content	is	a	bit	reminiscent	of	mile	.	in	fact	,	it's	the	perfect	blend	of	the	feel	good	'60s	nostalgia	of	stand	by	me	(	also	by	king	)	and	mystical	power	hokum	of	mile	.	king's	atlantis	is	a	book	comprised	of	five	related	short	stories	,	but	the	main	focus	here	is	on	the	first	(	and	longest	)	tale	,	called	low	men	in	yellow	coats	(	the	film's	title	comes	from	the	second	chapter	)	.	it's	set	in	1960	harwich	,	connecticut	,	where	11	year	old	bobby	garfield	(	anton	yelchin	)	lives	in	a	boarding	house	run	by	his	cold	,	self	centered	mother	elizabeth	(	hope	davis	,	joe	gould's	secret	)	,	who	seems	to	care	more	about	her	wardrobe	than	her	son	.	bobby	spends	his	time	with	his	two	closest	friends	,	john	sullivan	(	will	rothhaar	)	and	tomboy	carol	gerber	(	mika	boorem	)	,	who	become	something	like	the	kevin	,	paul	and	winnie	of	harwich	.	when	a	new	tenant	moves	into	the	vacant	room	,	the	fatherless	bobby	finds	a	male	role	model	in	ted	brautigan	(	anthony	hopkins	,	hannibal	)	,	a	mysterious	stranger	who	is	vague	enough	about	his	past	to	make	bobby's	mom	suspicious	enough	to	at	least	momentarily	turn	her	head	away	from	the	mirror	.	ted	teaches	his	young	neighbor	about	the	wonders	of	literature	(	after	his	cheapskate	mother	gives	him	a	library	card	for	his	birthday	)	,	dispenses	prophetic	words	of	wisdom	and	even	pays	bobby	one	dollar	a	week	to	read	him	the	local	newspaper	and	keep	his	eyes	peeled	for	the	low	men	,	a	group	of	people	chasing	ted	to	exploit	his	special	powers	.	i	won't	go	into	what	these	powers	are	,	but	they're	considerably	toned	down	from	the	book	(	and	don't	involve	black	stuff	flying	out	of	ted's	mouth	,	a	la	mile	)	.	atlantis'	present	day	setting	which	bookends	the	film	is	based	on	the	novel's	final	chapter	,	titled	heavenly	shades	of	night	are	falling	,	and	features	david	morse	(	in	yet	another	connection	to	the	green	mile	)	as	a	married	,	middle	aged	bobby	who	learns	of	the	death	of	both	of	his	childhood	friends	and	returns	to	the	dilapidated	boarding	house	in	which	he	spent	his	formative	years	.	atlantis	is	nowhere	near	as	flashy	as	hicks'	cedars	,	which	is	disappointing	but	understandable	considering	the	switch	from	the	completely	amazing	robert	richardson	to	the	occasionally	amazing	piotr	sobocinski	,	the	oscar	nominated	cinematographer	behind	krzysztof	kieslowski's	red	.	the	acting	is	solid	from	everyone	,	including	hopkins	,	who	never	once	makes	you	think	of	dr	.	lecter	.	most	impressive	are	youngsters	yelchin	and	boorem	,	who	both	had	tiny	parts	in	along	came	a	spider	.	while	i	didn't	really	have	much	of	a	problem	with	goldman's	screenplay	,	i	do	need	to	point	out	at	least	one	inconsistency	.	goldman	,	for	those	of	you	who	don't	read	premiere	,	writes	what	seems	like	an	annual	criticism	of	everybody	else's	films	,	carefully	explaining	why	they	all	suck	,	make	no	sense	and	insult	their	audiences	,	while	somehow	failing	to	mention	the	crap	that	he's	penned	(	like	the	general's	daughter	)	.	it's	mean	spirited	but	fun	to	read	,	mostly	on	account	of	nobody	else	in	hollywood	having	the	balls	to	say	anything	remotely	negative	about	anybody	else	in	the	business	(	including	michael	jackson	,	o	.	j	.	and	robert	blake	)	.	in	atlantis	,	which	is	supposed	to	be	told	through	the	eyes	of	young	bobby	,	one	would	assume	he	would	have	to	be	in	each	scene	in	order	to	have	the	memory	to	which	to	flash	back	.	well	,	he's	not	,	and	it	doesn't	make	sense	.	1	:	41	pg	13	for	violence	and	thematic	elements
pos	the	others	(	2001	)	nicole	kidman	,	christopher	eccleston	,	fionnula	flanagan	,	elaine	cassidy	,	eric	sykes	,	alakina	mann	,	james	bentley	,	rene	ascherson	.	written	and	directed	by	alejandro	amenbar	.	104	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	3	stars	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	it's	hard	not	to	recommend	"	the	others	.	"	the	supernatural	thriller	,	written	and	directed	by	alejandro	amenbar	(	"	open	your	eyes	"	)	,	adroitly	establishes	and	maintains	a	low	key	atmosphere	of	menace	.	the	cinematography	,	by	javier	aguirresarobe	,	is	as	good	as	i	have	ever	seen	and	nicole	kidman	gives	another	in	her	growing	body	of	fine	performances	.	but	the	pacing	of	the	story	moves	from	deliberate	to	downright	sluggish	and	the	payoff	of	the	tale	left	me	less	than	satisfied	.	overall	,	the	film	plays	like	a	very	high	quality	version	of	any	number	of	old	"	twilight	zone	"	episodes	where	the	characters	spend	a	great	deal	of	time	wandering	about	looking	afraid	and	disoriented	,	only	to	learn	they	are	actually	a	child's	toy	,	a	military	test	subject	or	a	department	store	dummy	.	watching	those	vintage	shows	and	listening	to	the	players	chatter	,	i	always	wanted	to	shout	,	"	get	on	with	it	!	"	as	much	as	i	appreciated	the	atmosphere	and	acting	in	"	the	others	,	"	my	reaction	was	much	the	same	.	set	at	an	island	mansion	off	the	coast	of	england	during	world	war	ii	,	the	story	focuses	on	grace	(	kidman	)	,	who	tends	to	her	children	anne	(	alakina	mann	)	and	nicholas	(	james	bentley	)	and	worries	about	her	husband	,	charles	(	christopher	eccleston	)	,	a	missing	serviceman	.	anne	and	nicholas	suffer	from	photosensitivity	and	grace	patrols	the	estate	with	the	keys	to	all	50	doors	,	protecting	the	little	ones	from	excess	light	by	making	sure	that	only	one	door	is	open	at	a	time	.	at	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	three	servants	,	mrs	.	mills	(	fionnula	flanagan	)	,	young	,	mute	lydia	(	elaine	cassidy	)	,	and	mr	.	tuttle	(	eric	sykes	)	,	an	aging	gardener	,	join	the	family	.	the	two	that	speak	seem	agreeable	enough	at	first	,	but	it	soon	becomes	apparent	that	they	know	something	that	grace	does	not	.	to	make	matters	worse	,	the	children	are	upset	:	nicholas	is	unusually	jittery	and	anne	claims	to	be	seeing	ghosts	.	grace	attempts	to	blame	the	troubles	on	the	new	arrivals	to	her	home	,	only	to	realize	that	whatever	is	happening	is	beyond	them	.	that's	essentially	the	whole	story	,	with	the	tension	growing	until	the	pivotal	moment	when	everything	becomes	clear	.	earlier	,	there	is	an	outstanding	scene	where	grace	darts	outside	,	only	to	be	enveloped	in	fold	after	fold	of	shimmering	fog	.	the	visuals	in	the	otherworldly	sequence	,	courtesy	of	aguirresarobe	,	are	simply	astounding	.	i	also	enjoyed	the	presence	of	religion	,	a	rarity	in	films	dealing	with	the	supernatural	.	grace	is	a	christian	and	answers	her	children's	questions	about	life	and	death	with	the	assurance	of	a	devout	worshiper	.	when	mother	is	away	,	though	,	the	kids	speculate	whether	her	statements	are	fact	or	folklore	,	just	as	real	children	do	.	but	those	nice	touches	fail	to	enliven	a	film	that	is	too	slow	or	make	up	for	a	lackluster	ending	.	"	the	others	"	sets	out	to	be	a	classic	ghost	story	,	but	fails	to	grasp	that	special	something	that	makes	such	films	more	than	layers	of	mist	.
pos	my	fellow	americans	is	a	movie	that	at	first	glance	looks	to	have	little	substance	(	or	a	movie	that	we've	all	seen	a	million	times	)	,	two	lifetime	rivals	thrown	together	and	then	the	fun	begins	.	this	is	exactly	what	happened	in	this	movie	,	but	fortunately	,	they	managed	to	do	it	in	an	interesting	and	funny	way	.	the	movie	starts	with	a	quick	(	and	i	do	mean	quick	)	glance	of	two	presidents	russell	kramer	(	jack	lemmon	)	and	matt	douglas	(	james	garner	)	.	william	haney	(	dan	aykroyd	)	and	ted	matthews	(	john	heard	)	are	the	new	president	and	vice	president	.	there	is	a	scandal	that	arises	involving	a	kickback	from	a	contractor	and	haney	is	positive	that	he	buried	that	years	ago	.	he	finds	a	scapegoat	in	kramer	and	now	everyone	wants	kramer	and	douglas	dead	.	this	movie	was	exceptional	for	many	reasons	.	one	being	that	they	found	people	(	lemmon	and	garner	)	that	have	good	chemisty	together	.	they	worked	very	well	as	a	unit	and	they	mirrored	each	other	perfectly	,	one	being	a	ladies	man	and	one	being	the	old	man	(	i'll	let	you	fiqure	which	is	which	)	.	also	,	they	found	people	that	know	their	parts	as	govenment	officials	well	.	it	seemed	to	me	that	garner	played	almost	exactly	the	same	role	that	he	played	in	the	distinquished	gentleman	(	except	then	he	was	a	congressman	)	.	experience	counts	for	a	lot	!	!
pos	mute	witness	(	1994	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1999	justin	felix	.	any	comments	about	this	review	?	contact	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	"	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	a	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	written	and	directed	by	anthony	waller	.	starring	marina	zudina	.	special	cameo	by	alec	guinness	.	rated	r	(	contains	brutal	violence	,	nudity	,	and	profanity	)	90	mins	.	synopsis	:	an	attractive	mute	makeup	artist	,	working	on	an	ultra	cheesy	slasher	movie	in	moscow	,	witnesses	the	production	of	a	brutal	snuff	film	and	is	subsequently	chased	by	really	bad	russians	.	meanwhile	,	the	artist's	sister	and	boyfriend	clumsily	try	to	save	her	.	comments	:	mute	witness	came	as	a	surprise	to	me	the	first	time	i	watched	it	.	drawn	by	the	clever	artwork	on	the	video	box	,	i	rented	the	film	expecting	a	complete	turkey	.	mute	witness	,	however	,	was	original	,	offbeat	,	and	well	made	.	it's	one	of	those	cool	little	finds	that	no	one	seems	to	know	about	.	i've	subsequently	found	it	at	most	video	rental	places	i	visit	,	and	it	may	be	seen	,	on	occasion	,	on	the	independent	film	channel	.	the	first	hour	of	mute	witness	is	extremely	tense	,	as	billy	,	the	quite	believable	mute	heroine	,	sees	members	of	the	russian	mob	brutally	kill	a	prostitute	while	filming	an	illegal	snuff	film	.	the	rest	of	the	film	takes	good	advantage	of	billy's	vulnerable	position	as	a	mute	foreigner	in	moscow	being	pursued	by	powerful	criminal	figures	.	to	throw	a	curveball	into	the	fray	,	billy's	sister	karen	and	her	filmmaking	beau	become	bizarre	figures	of	comic	relief	to	offset	several	violent	sequences	in	what	are	some	genuinely	funny	scenes	.	a	disappointingly	trite	ending	and	occasional	comic	blunders	are	the	only	two	things	which	mar	this	otherwise	suspenseful	film	.	look	for	alec	guinness	(	obi	wan	kenobi	from	the	first	star	wars	trilogy	)	in	a	small	role	as	the	evil	reaper	.	definately	check	this	movie	out	;	although	,	as	a	word	of	warning	,	it	does	contain	several	scenes	of	rather	grisly	violence	which	certainly	aren't	for	the	squeamish	.
pos	the	director	of	the	crow	(	1994	)	returns	with	this	happy	epic	,	set	in	a	world	where	the	sun	is	always	shining	and	everyone	is	cheerful	.	only	kidding	.	as	you	could	guess	by	the	title	,	dark	city	is	a	dark	,	depressive	,	but	somewhat	entertaining	picture	.	set	sometime	in	the	future	,	the	film	begins	when	we	see	john	murdoch	(	sewell	)	wake	up	with	no	memory	.	he	can't	remember	his	wife	emma	(	connely	)	or	the	murders	that	he	has	been	framed	for	.	and	when	he	encounters	strange	,	tall	people	wearing	silly	hats	trying	to	kill	him	(	called	'the	strangers'	)	,	he	tries	to	get	answers	.	with	the	help	of	dr	.	scheriber	(	sutherland	)	he	tries	to	work	out	what	the	hell	is	going	on	.	hot	on	his	tail	on	this	time	is	world	weary	cop	inspector	frank	bumstead	(	hurt	.	)	despite	the	dark	setting	,	and	the	depressive	mood	the	picture	has	,	dark	city	is	entertaining	.	the	first	thing	that	makes	the	film	fun	is	the	cast	.	director	alex	proyas	has	managed	to	assemble	a	pretty	good	cast	for	what	is	essentially	a	very	silly	sci	fi	movie	.	rufus	sewell	does	a	good	job	looking	confused	,	and	also	does	the	action	scenes	all	right	aswell	.	sutherland	appears	to	be	having	fun	as	the	doctor	,	even	if	he	is	overacting	just	a	little	.	his	delivery	of	his	lines	really	started	to	annoy	me	,	though	.	(	he	pauses	every	two	words	.	)	more	worringly	,	he's	looking	more	like	his	father	every	day	.	connelly	fine	in	her	role	,	although	it	dosen't	require	much	.	her	singing	voice	,	by	the	way	,	is	anita	kelsey	,	so	don't	expect	any	connelly	hits	in	the	chart's	any	time	soon	.	william	hurt	is	not	bad	,	even	though	he	dosen't	really	appear	to	be	trying	.	also	popping	up	is	ian	richardson	and	richard	o'brian	as	two	of	the	strangers	.	both	are	good	english	actors	,	and	watching	them	dress	up	in	the	most	stupid	costumes	,	blurting	out	lines	which	a	b	movie	screenwriter	would	be	proud	of	is	actually	quite	amusing	(	if	you're	british	,	that	is	.	)	then	again	,	o'brien	dressed	up	stupid	in	the	rocky	horror	picture	show	(	1975	)	so	looking	silly	is	no	stranger	to	him	.	like	the	crow	,	the	film	is	directed	like	a	music	video	with	a	large	budget	.	proyas	uses	fast	cuts	,	quick	zooms	and	a	dance	soundtrack	to	great	effect	,	as	they	manage	(	along	with	the	acting	)	to	drown	out	the	poor	dialogue	(	written	by	lem	dobbs	,	david	s	.	goyer	and	proyas	himself	.	)	the	fast	paced	directing	helps	the	movie	bound	along	.	the	dialogue	just	slows	it	down	.	it's	clumsy	,	stupid	,	and	in	the	end	,	just	boring	.	the	best	thing	about	dark	city	,	however	,	is	the	look	of	the	film	.	the	city	is	impressive	,	it's	look	the	place	the	crow	(	and	deckard	from	bladerunner	,	1982	)	would	live	.	the	special	effects	are	also	impressive	,	especially	the	ones	in	the	overblown	finale	.	dark	city	is	a	definite	case	of	style	of	content	.	if	you	get	bored	of	the	movie	,	just	sit	back	and	enjoy	the	great	scenery	,	the	great	directing	,	and	the	soundtrack	.	this	things	alone	probably	make	dark	city	worth	watching	.	it	may	not	be	the	best	film	of	the	year	,	but	dark	city	is	worth	watching	,	and	is	ultimately	just	good	fun	.
pos	as	i	write	the	review	for	the	new	hanks	ryan	romantic	comedy	you've	got	mail	,	i	am	acutely	aware	that	i	am	typing	it	on	a	computer	and	sending	it	a	billion	miles	away	on	the	internet	.	i	am	also	aware	that	i	have	just	spent	the	last	2	hours	watching	the	world's	biggest	paid	commercial	for	america	online	.	and	i	wonder	:	is	that	so	bad	?	well	,	the	commercial	part	is	.	as	for	the	movie	,	well	,	as	long	as	i	can	watch	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	,	i	think	i'll	be	okay	.	to	paraphrase	james	berardinelli	,	whose	reviews	i	admire	very	much	,	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	can	act	.	they	are	both	wonderful	,	but	for	all	of	hanks'	glorious	work	in	serious	films	,	such	as	his	magnificent	performance	in	saving	private	ryan	,	and	his	glorious	triumph	in	philadelphia	,	i	like	him	best	when	he's	suitably	obnoxious	.	tom	hanks	is	wonderful	when	he	is	obnoxious	in	a	romantic	comedy	when	he's	going	to	get	the	girl	:	the	only	question	is	how	?	meg	ryan	,	america's	high	school	sweetheart	,	can	act	.	she's	had	a	handful	of	memorable	performances	,	including	the	great	scene	in	the	diner	in	when	harry	met	sally	(	i	must	not	mention	what	she	does	,	due	to	the	,	well	,	um	,	you	get	the	idea	,	and	if	you	don't	,	get	the	movie	fantastic	)	.	but	,	i	like	her	best	when	she's	,	well	,	perky	.	she	is	so	adorably	perky	cute	that	together	with	hanks	,	they	are	the	most	amazing	onscreen	duo	in	my	short	lifetime	.	some	people	have	them	going	back	to	really	old	classic	romantic	couples	,	but	i	don't	really	know	.	all	i	know	is	that	i	just	like	them	both	.	they	have	such	wonderfully	kinetic	chemistry	that's	really	hard	to	resist	,	and	i'm	not	going	to	even	try	.	they're	just	really	,	really	cute	,	sweet	,	and	charming	.	hanks	and	ryan	collaborate	once	again	with	nora	ephron	,	who	directed	them	in	the	megahit	sleepless	in	seattle	.	here	,	the	setup	is	a	little	different	.	kathleen	kelly	(	ryan	)	owns	a	small	children's	bookstore	which	her	mother	founded	42	years	ago	and	passed	down	to	her	.	she	is	successful	,	beautiful	,	and	dates	a	well	known	columnist	with	very	radical	idea	(	kinnear	)	.	she	is	also	having	an	affair	,	of	sorts	.	you	see	,	kathleen	,	with	the	handle	shopgirl	,	is	secretly	emailing	ny152	.	they	have	a	strictly	un	detailed	relationship	:	there	are	no	specifics	,	and	they	have	no	idea	who	each	other	is	.	ny152	happens	to	be	joe	fox	(	hanks	)	,	a	multimillionaire	bookseller	who	is	the	heir	to	the	fortune	of	the	fox	chain	of	mega	bookstores	,	run	by	his	father	(	coleman	)	.	fox	books	has	decided	to	open	a	store	on	the	west	side	,	right	across	from	a	little	children's	bookseller	named	"	shop	around	the	corner	"	,	run	by	a	perky	girl	named	kathleen	kelly	.	every	morning	,	these	two	email	each	other	silly	,	and	every	day	,	they	fight	"	to	the	death	!	!	"	.	it's	a	charming	premise	,	and	one	that	works	nicely	,	balancing	the	immense	troubles	kathleen	is	in	with	the	romance	she	wants	to	have	.	it	also	has	the	great	sense	of	being	a	classic	romance	:	there	is	no	"	let's	have	sex	tonight	"	mantra	,	if	you'll	excuse	my	bluntness	.	this	is	a	solid	romance	built	around	that	vague	concept	of	love	.	hmm	.	well	,	the	movie	goes	through	twists	and	turns	,	having	some	sad	moments	and	happy	ones	,	until	at	one	moment	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	"	hook	up	"	,	to	use	modern	terminology	,	and	kiss	their	way	into	happiness	.	you	know	it's	going	to	happen	,	the	question	is	now	?	thankfully	,	ephron	has	a	wonderful	supporting	cast	with	posey	,	kinnear	,	chappelle	,	and	a	host	of	others	,	including	a	great	scene	involving	brothers	,	aunts	,	and	two	sweet	kids	.	it's	all	cute	and	wonderful	,	and	for	all	of	the	idealism	,	it	makes	me	feel	good	.	hanks	is	as	obnoxious	as	ever	on	the	outside	and	as	warm	on	the	inside	as	he	always	is	.	he	is	,	i	believe	,	america's	greatest	actor	.	does	he	show	it	here	?	nah	.	but	he's	still	tom	hanks	,	and	she's	still	meg	ryan	.	which	is	what	this	movie	boils	down	to	.	it's	pure	confection	.	all	the	bits	about	the	godfather	,	the	jokes	,	the	superb	script	,	it's	all	really	sweet	.	there	are	some	immense	flaws	,	like	pacing	.	the	last	third	of	the	movie	really	doesn't	work	as	well	as	i	would	have	liked	,	and	for	a	romantic	comedy	,	it's	slow	.	once	hanks	knows	the	secret	,	it	gets	really	slow	.	i	even	looked	at	my	watch	a	couple	times	,	to	make	sure	ephron	was	going	to	deliver	the	big	onscreen	kiss	i	was	waiting	for	,	so	that	i	could	get	home	at	a	reasonable	hour	.	the	other	problem	is	that	this	movie	is	shaping	up	to	be	really	dated	.	e	mail	?	when	my	kids	are	my	age	,	i	don't	know	what	we'll	be	using	.	but	hanks	can	do	more	with	one	eyeroll	than	anybody	,	and	meg	ryan	just	loves	to	dive	into	a	pillow	better	than	anyone	in	movie	history	.	they	just	work	together	,	and	it's	nice	to	see	.	it	gives	you	,	well	,	a	smile	.	the	script	helps	with	some	great	lines	that	are	absolutely	hilarious	,	and	that	always	come	at	the	exact	right	time	to	keep	the	audience	awake	.	i	was	arguing	with	my	father	on	the	drive	back	home	on	what	the	purpose	of	movies	was	.	i've	always	believed	that	movies	are	very	powerful	,	very	powerful	indeed	.	you	see	,	mankind	has	three	abilities	he	needs	to	survive	:	the	ability	to	think	,	entertain	,	and	procreate	.	movies	can	definitely	do	the	first	two	,	and	as	for	the	third	,	well	,	i'd	rather	not	think	about	that	.	i	always	thought	films	that	made	you	think	enlightened	you	and	made	you	see	something	from	another	viewpoint	,	and	that	films	that	entertained	you	were	good	,	because	you	forgot	about	your	troubles	and	thought	about	something	nice	for	a	night	.	and	i	was	thinking	about	how	incredible	a	year	tom	hanks	has	had	.	hanks	was	the	driving	force	behind	one	of	the	year's	best	films	in	saving	private	ryan	,	which	is	one	of	those	thinking	films	that	truly	made	someone	wonder	about	the	world	.	he's	also	half	of	the	glue	behind	the	year's	best	example	of	pure	entertainment	.	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	are	magical	,	as	is	this	movie	.	it's	a	sweet	,	lovely	affair	with	a	technology	twist	.	it	may	be	a	long	commercial	,	but	it	gave	me	a	pretty	big	smile	on	my	face	.
pos	apollo	13	is	simply	one	of	the	most	dramatic	film	this	summer	(	apart	from	swashbuckling	braveheart	)	.	director	(	and	former	actor	)	ron	howard	(	splash	,	backdraft	,	far	away	)	,	most	noted	for	his	dramatic	film	making	,	displays	again	his	brilliance	in	creating	drama	and	suspense	in	apollo	13	.	being	the	second	largest	box	office	hit	in	the	us	this	summer	(	with	more	than	us	150	million	in	the	states	alone	)	,	this	film	is	his	most	successful	effort	yet	.	perhaps	one	of	the	most	appealing	feature	of	this	film	is	the	pool	of	talented	actors	such	as	tom	hanks	(	gump	himself	)	,	kevin	bacon	(	footloose	,	tremors	,	a	few	good	men	etc	.	)	,	gary	sinise	(	forrest	gump	)	,	bill	paxton	(	aliens	,	true	lies	,	boxing	helena	)	and	ed	harris	(	the	abyss	,	just	cause	)	.	.	all	of	whom	gave	good	performances	in	their	respective	roles	.	apollo	13	was	the	second	worst	accident	ever	to	occur	in	the	history	of	us	spaceflight	(	the	worst	being	the	challenger	accident	)	.	jim	lovell	(	hanks	)	,	the	mission	commander	,	together	with	his	crew	,	fred	haise	(	paxton	)	and	last	minute	replacement	tom	swigert	(	bacon	)	are	put	to	the	ultimate	test	when	part	of	their	command	module	explodes	on	the	third	day	of	the	mission	,	more	than	three	quarters	way	to	the	moon	.	suspense	and	drama	ensue	as	the	three	men	are	left	in	space	with	their	spaceship	out	of	control	and	the	problem	of	surviving	the	journey	home	.	.	.	if	they	ever	reach	it	.	ed	harris	and	gary	sinise	who	play	,	respectively	,	the	man	in	charge	of	the	entire	mission	control	and	the	astronaut	who	was	supposed	to	fly	but	was	diagnosed	with	measles	,	both	delve	into	their	roles	superbly	.	audiences	are	shown	the	chaotic	and	worrisome	state	of	the	entire	ground	control	crew	,	as	they	frantically	attempt	to	come	up	with	ideas	on	how	to	save	the	astronauts	from	hurtling	into	space	.	also	,	there	are	quite	a	number	of	real	news	footages	which	were	broadcast	during	the	accident	which	took	the	entire	us	nation	into	5	days	of	drama	in	1970	.	the	special	effects	by	digital	domain	are	up	to	standard	and	the	music	suits	the	suspense	and	drama	very	well	,	thanks	to	film	music	maestro	james	horner	.	watch	out	for	the	launching	sequence	,	it	is	simply	one	of	the	most	breathtaking	scenes	of	the	film	.	a	bad	point	though	:	apollo	13	features	much	technical	jargon	and	many	physics	concepts	in	its	script	.	those	who	consider	themselves	scientifically	illiterate'	might	have	a	slight	problem	understanding	what	caused	this	and	what	caused	that	during	the	course	of	the	show	.	this	is	however	,	just	a	minor	point	,	just	forget	all	those	technical	bullshit	and	immerse	yourselves	into	the	drama	and	suspense	throughout	the	film	.	you	should	enjoy	it	.
pos	rated	r	for	intense	violence	,	sexuality	and	some	nudity	.	starring	:	jamie	lee	curtis	,	donald	pleasance	,	nancy	loomis	,	p	.	j	.	soles	.	once	in	a	great	while	a	brilliant	horror	film	will	come	out	,	this	year	we've	had	the	new	classic	'the	blair	witch	project'	which	has	been	hailed	as	the	scariest	film	ever	made	.	while	one	of	the	scariest	,	halloween	still	reigns	supreme	as	the	most	horrifying	movie	ever	put	on	film	strip	.	it's	whole	approach	to	horror	movies	are	the	most	amazing	thing	of	the	film	is	that	it	needs	no	gore	,	no	explicit	violence	and	no	excess	blood	to	scare	the	hell	out	of	us	,	instead	it	relies	on	genuine	scares	and	atmosphere	to	make	us	pee	our	pants	with	fright	.	the	score	of	the	film	is	also	a	big	thing	too	.	sometimes	the	score	is	what	scares	us	the	most	,	along	with	michael	myers	we	have	no	mercy	from	this	terrifying	motion	picture	masterpiece	.	the	film	starts	out	with	a	creepy	opening	sequence	to	which	has	the	now	classic	and	creepy	score	by	writer	director	producer	john	carpenter	who	in	my	mind	is	a	brilliant	director	,	he	really	is	.	he	wrote	this	film	,	he	directed	this	film	,	he	produced	this	film	and	he	made	the	excessively	creepy	score	to	this	film	.	i	think	he	is	and	always	will	be	famous	for	this	classic	which	after	21	years	has	not	lost	it's	popularity	or	it's	ability	to	scare	the	wits	out	of	people	.	i	think	i	have	seen	'halloween'	over	100	times	and	each	time	i	find	something	new	and	brilliant	,	and	each	time	i	am	scared	even	though	i	know	what	is	going	to	happen	.	i	own	three	different	versions	of	the	film	:	a	vhs	regular	version	that	came	with	a	limited	edition	20th	anniversary	t	shirt	,	a	boxed	edition	vhs	in	a	hardcover	case	digitally	re	mastered	with	the	original	theatrical	widescreen	presentation	,	in	a	nifty	plastic	picture	decorated	box	with	a	numbered	snow	globe	.	in	other	words	i	am	completely	and	utterly	obsessed	with	the	film	.	it	has	changed	horror	movies	forever	and	spawned	six	sequels	with	only	2	,	4	,	and	7	being	truly	good	.	it	also	spawned	several	cheap	imitations	of	the	film	that	were	offensive	in	some	ways	to	a	true	halloween	fan	.	since	i	heard	about	halloween	being	released	on	dvd	in	a	limited	edition	of	30	,	000	copies	,	i	knew	i	had	to	buy	one	no	matter	what	!	i	did	and	man	to	me	it's	the	best	dvd	ever	manufactured	with	the	brilliance	of	the	film	.	no	words	can	describe	the	dvd	.	in	'halloween'	michael	myers	is	a	evil	person	whom	killed	his	sister	in	cold	blood	16	years	ago	in	1963	.	now	in	1978	grown	up	and	in	a	mental	hospital	michael	myers	escapes	to	go	back	to	his	hometown	of	haddonfield	,	illinois	,	followed	by	his	past	doctor	sam	loomis	.	the	person	michael	is	targeting	is	laurie	strode	who	is	played	by	jamie	lee	curtis	in	her	film	debut	.	why	is	he	stalking	her	?	check	out	halloween	ii	it	explains	it	all	.	on	this	unholy	night	on	october	31	,	1978	laurie	strode	and	her	two	friends	are	going	to	have	the	time	of	their	lives	,	which	is	trying	to	stay	alive	.	the	whole	film	is	filled	with	terrifying	moments	most	coming	from	just	seeing	michael	myers	walk	.	nick	castle	who	played	the	shape	in	the	first	movie	did	an	incredible	job	,	and	no	other	person	in	any	other	halloween	flick	can	do	what	he	did	.	what	john	carpenter	did	in	1978	is	made	a	ground	breaking	new	film	,	with	scares	,	wit	,	and	style	.	the	movie	is	flawless	if	not	perfect	.	no	other	movie	or	sequel	has	lived	up	to	this	one	,	and	in	my	opinion	never	will	.	'halloween'	will	be	like	'psycho'	and	still	be	extremely	popular	even	almost	40	years	later	.	i	just	hope	someday	'halloween'	will	be	released	in	a	new	dolby	soundtrack	with	the	4	extra	scenes	on	the	dvd	edition	.	'halloween'	isn't	just	another	slice	and	dice	horror	flick	,	it's	an	intelligent	,	horrifying	and	best	film	experience	ever	made	.	see	'halloween'	and	be	scared	.	.	.	.	then	watch	it	again	!	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	october	7	,	1999	.	ratings	for	the	other	halloween	movies	:	halloween	ii	halloween	iii	zero	stars	halloween	4	:	the	return	of	michael	myers	halloween	5	:	the	revenge	of	michael	myers	halloween	:	the	curse	of	michael	myers	halloween	:	h20	brandon	herring	movie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	steven	phillips	(	brooks	)	is	sitting	in	a	posh	restaurant	with	a	young	studio	executive	that	says	he's	lost	his	edge	.	"	what	can	i	do	to	fix	it	?	"	brooks	asks	,	but	he	says	it's	beyond	fixing	.	"	but	i	just	got	the	humanitarian	award	!	"	he	fires	back	,	"	oh	come	on	,	everyone	gets	that	.	"	the	muse	is	a	perfect	example	of	the	way	that	young	hollywood	stars	and	executives	are	shaping	what	type	of	movies	that	we	see	in	the	next	millennium	.	it	also	shows	what	this	young	movement	does	to	the	aging	workers	who've	been	there	awhile	.	when	steven	sees	a	mysterious	woman	getting	into	a	cab	when	he	comes	to	ask	his	friend	jack	warrick	(	jeff	bridges	)	for	advice	he	at	first	begins	to	think	that	he	is	having	an	affair	.	but	in	his	desperation	,	jack	feels	sorry	for	him	and	tells	him	that	she	is	a	muse	.	a	muse	is	a	child	of	zeus	and	is	supposed	to	inspire	all	creativity	.	(	just	a	little	update	for	those	of	us	who	didn't	pay	attention	in	history	.	)	steven	decides	to	consult	the	muse	,	(	stone	)	who	turns	to	want	more	than	anybody	in	hollywood	are	paying	for	their	services	.	decked	out	in	a	four	seasons	suite	,	she	makes	him	be	at	her	beck	and	call	,	in	exchange	he's	starting	to	form	an	idea	about	a	jim	carrey	comedy	in	a	water	park	.	she	also	helps	inspire	steven's	wife	laura	(	andie	mcdowell	)	to	become	the	next	mrs	.	fields	.	she	two	investigators	of	a	local	mentor	hospital	show	up	at	the	front	door	looking	for	her	.	.	.	they	begin	to	wonder	.	the	film	turns	in	a	great	performance	by	stone	.	her	wackiness	reminded	me	of	some	of	her	craziness	scenes	in	casino	.	albert	brooks	also	turns	in	a	fine	screenplay	that	constantly	moving	and	funny	.	but	the	film	also	raises	the	idea	of	what	will	happen	when	the	sarah	michelle	gellar's	of	today	turn	30	?	what	will	happen	to	the	industry	then	?	if	your	looking	for	a	fun	film	to	see	,	go	out	and	see	the	muse	which	gets	stars	.	the	young	uns	:	the	film	contains	a	brief	view	of	sharon	stone's	butt	.	good	age	7	up	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	a
pos	capsule	:	the	funniest	horror	movie	ever	made	;	a	melange	of	dario	argento	and	wile	e	.	coyote	.	evil	dead	2	:	dead	by	dawn	is	the	result	of	an	unstable	fusion	of	warner	bros	.	cartoon	slapstick	and	_	giallo	_	horror	movie	conventions	.	it's	a	flick	with	the	mind	of	a	splatter	film	and	the	heart	of	a	mack	sennett	two	reeler	.	in	plain	,	non	fanboy	language	,	it's	a	ton	of	disgusting	fun	.	example	:	a	monster	of	the	undead	rises	from	the	cellar	,	only	to	have	its	head	smashed	in	the	trapdoor	.	its	eyeball	pops	out	and	flies	into	the	mouth	of	one	of	the	three	screaming	girls	in	the	movie	.	gulp	.	the	plot	,	what	there	is	of	it	,	is	simple	to	the	point	of	irrelevancy	.	a	young	man	and	his	girlfriend	head	out	to	an	abandoned	cabin	for	a	romantic	interlude	,	and	unwittingly	unleash	the	evil	undead	.	the	girl	dies	horribly	and	the	man	(	square	jawed	bruce	campbell	)	lives	but	as	what	?	horrendous	mutations	strike	him	like	epileptic	fits	.	the	dead	rise	out	of	their	graves	and	inflict	ghastly	punishments	and	tortures	on	him	.	his	own	hand	rebels	against	him	(	and	the	punishment	he	exacts	on	it	is	howlingly	painful	)	.	the	majority	of	the	movie	is	one	long	,	roaring	blast	of	slime	,	guts	,	special	effects	and	ear	drilling	sound	effects	,	but	it's	put	together	in	a	way	that	gets	more	than	a	fair	amount	of	good	laughs	.	evil	dead	2	is	most	likely	the	item	that	started	the	whole	trend	of	sly	,	self	referential	horror	movies	(	culminating	,	of	course	,	in	the	brilliantly	nasty	scream	)	,	although	it's	a	lot	more	freakish	and	far	out	.
pos	starring	:	arthur	hill	(	dr	.	jeremy	stone	)	,	david	wayne	(	dr	.	charles	dutton	)	,	james	olson	(	dr	.	mark	hall	)	,	kate	reid	(	dr	.	ruth	leavitt	)	.	produced	and	directed	by	robert	wise	.	the	andromeda	strain	is	the	greatest	science	fiction	film	ever	made	.	i	know	that	is	very	sweeping	statement	,	so	i'll	qualify	it	by	adding	that	the	andromeda	strain	is	one	of	the	few	films	made	that	genuinely	deserve	the	label	of	"	science	fiction	,	"	stories	in	which	speculative	science	is	at	the	core	of	the	plot	.	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	is	probably	a	better	film	,	but	it	really	only	qualifies	as	science	fiction	if	you	consider	metaphysics	to	be	a	science	.	most	all	other	films	we	normally	classify	as	science	fiction	,	or	sf	,	are	really	just	fantasy	,	action	or	horror	stories	set	in	a	futuristic	setting	.	the	andromeda	strain	starts	out	with	two	soldiers	in	a	high	tech	(	for	1970	)	van	looking	for	a	crashed	satellite	in	a	tiny	new	mexico	town	.	something	bad	happens	to	them	.	pictures	from	a	reconnaissance	plane	show	a	shocking	sight	.	apparently	everyone	in	the	town	is	dead	.	the	authorities	call	a	"	wildfire	alert	,	"	summoning	four	scientists	,	all	but	one	of	them	somewhat	reluctant	,	to	a	super	secret	underground	germ	warfare	laboratory	in	nevada	.	two	of	scientists	,	stone	and	hall	,	fly	directly	to	the	town	in	space	suits	and	find	a	town	where	almost	every	single	resident	literally	dropped	in	their	tracks	,	their	blood	turned	to	powder	in	their	veins	.	some	went	insane	before	they	died	and	two	of	them	,	a	baby	and	an	old	wino	,	are	miraculously	still	alive	.	they	take	the	survivors	and	the	satellite	back	to	the	lab	,	where	stone	pressures	the	white	house	to	call	up	a	"	directive	712	,	"	an	executive	order	to	cauterize	the	area	around	the	town	with	a	nuclear	bomb	.	what	they	find	on	the	satellite	when	they	get	back	to	the	lab	is	andromeda	,	an	organism	that	defies	all	the	normal	rules	of	earth	like	life	and	mutates	as	it	grows	.	their	only	hope	to	cure	it	is	to	find	out	what	a	perfectly	healthy	baby	boy	has	in	common	with	an	old	derelict	.	what	they	find	out	is	that	organism	feeds	directly	on	energy	and	that	detonating	the	a	bomb	over	the	town	would	only	spread	it	across	the	entire	planet	.	they	barely	call	off	the	bombing	in	time	.	but	then	the	organism	mutates	into	something	that	threatens	to	eat	through	the	labs	defenses	and	break	out	.	this	triggers	the	lab's	last	ditch	defense	mechanism	,	an	atomic	bomb	.	to	those	raised	on	the	brainless	action	fare	that	pollutes	movie	theaters	these	days	,	the	andromeda	strain	will	probably	seem	interminably	slow	.	much	of	the	film	is	a	lot	of	people	standing	around	looking	at	video	screens	and	computer	readouts	.	but	what	the	characters	see	on	those	screens	ratchets	up	the	tension	with	every	turn	of	the	screw	.	the	performances	are	universally	fine	,	with	the	actors	keeping	things	low	key	and	restrained	,	just	like	scientists	.	to	me	,	the	real	appeal	of	this	film	is	the	fact	that	it	shows	scientists	acting	like	scientists	and	makes	it	seem	exciting	.	we	follow	the	logic	of	their	deduction	step	by	methodical	step	,	puzzling	like	they	do	every	time	andromeda	behaves	in	a	way	we	don't	expect	.	this	film	is	only	available	on	wide	screen	on	dvd	and	that	is	the	way	to	see	it	.	it	was	originally	rated	g	when	first	released	but	it	now	carries	the	pg	rating	,	mostly	for	very	mild	nudity	and	one	scene	in	which	a	body's	wrist	is	slashed	,	spilling	its	powdered	blood	.
pos	lili	taylor	nabbed	one	of	her	first	lead	roles	in	this	true	life	drama	about	valerie	jean	solanas	,	the	woman	who	shot	andy	warhol	in	1968	.	but	the	film	is	more	of	a	showcase	to	the	ways	of	the	60s	and	the	influence	that	warhol	and	other	artists	had	on	the	people	at	that	time	.	valerie	jean	solanas	(	taylor	)	is	a	lesbian	feminist	who	as	written	a	book	called	scum	manifesto	,	a	book	(	which	is	now	a	classic	)	about	the	way	that	men	(	like	disease	,	or	so	she	says	)	have	been	ruling	here	for	the	millions	of	years	before	us	.	she	tries	to	sell	it	on	the	street	,	and	is	thrilled	when	her	drag	queen	friend	is	invited	to	andy	warhol's	pad	.	this	is	her	chance	to	sell	him	not	only	on	the	book	,	but	on	some	plays	that	she	has	been	writing	.	but	andy	is	just	like	all	of	the	other	men	out	there	.	when	a	publisher	signs	her	to	a	fraud	contract	and	a	friend	puts	her	on	a	television	show	discussing	homosexuality	where	the	host	makes	fun	of	her	,	she	begins	to	think	that	andy	is	all	behind	it	.	he's	been	constantly	ignoring	and	making	fun	of	her	and	she	doesn't	like	it	.	her	increasing	rage	is	about	to	bring	on	the	deadliest	of	consequences	.	lili	taylor	gives	the	performance	of	her	career	(	at	least	so	far	)	she	puts	every	ounce	that	she	can	into	this	character	and	it's	a	great	treat	to	watch	.	flaws	are	abound	however	,	most	of	the	film	is	boring	and	needs	something	interesting	to	be	put	on	the	screen	and	the	story	was	told	harsher	than	it	needs	to	be	.	still	,	the	film	does	a	good	job	of	examining	the	inner	rage	that	overcame	the	woman	and	her	actions	thereafter	.	if	your	looking	for	a	cool	60s	noir	piece	,	rent	i	shot	andy	warhol	,	which	gets	stars	.	the	young	uns	:	the	main	character	is	lesbian	and	we	see	one	lesbian	encounter	.	she	is	also	a	prostitute	and	we	see	two	(	not	very	explicit	)	sex	scenes	of	her	servicing	her	customers	.	it	also	contains	strong	language	and	drug	use	.	good	age	:	16	up	a	review	by	frankie	paiva	the	12	year	old	movie	reviewer	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	swpstke	aol	.	com	"	swpstke	aol	.	com	a	visit	my	website	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	"	http	:	expage	.	com	page	teenagemoviecritic	a
pos	i	love	japanese	anime	on	the	big	screen	.	the	gorgeous	colors	,	the	daunting	cel	animation	detailing	the	smallest	blades	of	grass	,	the	complex	storylines	and	character	designs	,	and	the	thundering	soundtrack	.	and	the	impending	release	of	vampire	hunter	d	:	bloodlust	has	made	me	wet	with	anticipation	.	the	original	vampire	hunter	d	was	produced	for	video	only	in	1985	.	its	twisted	violence	,	a	plot	thick	with	deception	and	honor	,	perverted	sex	scenes	,	and	beautiful	acts	of	heads	and	limbs	being	lopped	off	are	a	d	d	geek's	wet	dream	.	based	upon	volume	three	of	hideyuki	kikuchi's	vampire	hunter	d	novel	series	,	bloodlust	follows	the	continuing	story	of	d	and	his	travels	as	a	vampire	hunter	for	hire	.	in	the	distant	future	,	vampires	rule	with	an	iron	first	over	fiefdoms	of	human	occupied	lands	with	their	minions	of	mutants	and	werewolves	.	as	the	years	have	passed	,	though	,	the	vampire	rulers	have	gradually	lost	their	power	and	are	now	being	hunted	by	bounty	hunters	.	one	of	the	most	famous	hunters	is	a	mysterious	outcast	named	d	,	a	"	dunpeal	"	(	born	of	a	vampire	father	and	a	human	mother	)	,	who's	equipped	with	a	super	quick	sword	,	a	black	cape	blowing	in	the	wind	,	and	a	penchant	for	ass	kicking	.	d's	latest	job	involves	a	simple	rescue	operation	to	reclaim	an	affluent	family's	lovely	daughter	charlotte	from	the	clutches	of	meier	link	,	an	ultra	smooth	vampire	with	a	silly	eurotrash	accent	.	but	competition	waits	in	the	form	of	the	markus	brothers	a	randy	bunch	of	mercenaries	who	use	knives	,	strength	,	crossbows	,	and	even	a	guy's	ghost	to	capture	their	vampire	booty	.	along	the	way	,	the	undead	rise	from	their	graves	,	werewolves	howl	at	the	moon	,	and	creeping	evil	in	the	shadows	crosses	their	paths	at	every	turn	.	vampire	hunter	d	:	bloodlust	is	a	qualified	success	in	the	animation	department	,	combining	fantasy	with	reality	through	the	solid	efforts	of	asian	production	house	madhouse	studios	(	also	responsible	for	co	creating	the	awesome	hbo	spawn	animated	series	)	.	but	there's	a	strong	western	influence	in	both	set	design	and	landscapes	throughout	the	picture	.	as	well	,	director	yoshiaki	kawajiri	(	wicked	city	)	handles	the	action	well	and	delivers	a	number	of	memorable	moments	that	even	rival	anime	classics	like	battle	angel	.	on	the	flip	side	,	the	main	problems	with	the	film	are	that	its	plot	is	weak	and	the	characters	fail	to	evolve	.	bloodlust	never	sells	the	conviction	of	evil	within	any	of	the	main	characters	,	instead	relying	on	the	age	old	romanticism	of	the	vampire	.	eventually	it	degenerates	into	a	standard	love	story	rescue	mission	.	worse	still	,	d's	character	is	so	utterly	invincible	there's	never	a	sense	that	the	story	could	go	any	other	way	than	that	he	will	save	the	girl	and	beat	the	evil	bad	guys	.	the	film's	humor	,	mainly	projected	by	d's	talking	left	hand	,	feels	forced	and	unsure	.	vampire	hunter	d	:	bloodlust	earns	enough	points	in	the	animation	department	to	carry	the	innocuous	plot	.	it's	almost	enough	to	make	you	forgive	the	lousy	title	.
pos	as	fairy	tales	go	,	cinderella	has	to	be	one	of	the	most	famous	.	almost	everyone	knows	it	,	well	at	least	in	north	america	.	so	it	is	natural	that	someone	will	try	to	make	a	movie	out	of	it	.	it	has	been	done	before	with	varying	results	.	this	version	of	the	story	is	both	similar	to	the	original	and	different	at	the	same	time	.	the	basic	story	remains	unchanged	but	,	one	thing	that	seems	to	vanish	with	this	version	,	and	that	is	all	the	fantastical	elements	of	the	story	.	there	is	no	fairy	god	mother	or	anything	even	remotely	of	that	nature	.	after	the	fantastical	elements	are	stripped	away	what	is	left	is	a	realistic	believable	rendition	of	the	cinderella	story	and	an	interesting	love	story	at	the	least	.	.	unlike	in	the	fairy	tale	,	the	prince	plays	a	much	larger	part	than	just	that	of	the	masked	ball	at	the	end	.	the	prince'	,	who	happens	to	be	the	crown	prince	to	the	throne	of	france	,	meets	'cinderella'	,	known	as	danielle	,	on	a	few	occasions	,	most	coincidentally	and	he	becomes	smitten	with	her	.	although	this	seems	to	be	a	far	cry	from	the	traditional	story	it	allows	for	the	main	plot	to	proceed	with	enough	room	for	some	imaginative	story	telling	.	.	the	story	takes	place	in	a	renaissance	setting	;	in	france	,	with	leonardo	da	vinci	providing	some	comic	relief	on	more	than	one	occasion	.	this	addition	of	leonardo	da	vinci	,	was	quite	successful	in	that	it	added	some	color	to	the	movie	,	since	some	of	the	roles	are	a	bit	stereotypical	.	for	example	the	role	that	was	scripted	for	the	prince	leaves	a	few	things	to	be	desired	.	for	instance	the	character	seems	to	be	a	bit	too	unstable	and	fickle	,	a	crown	prince	should	not	be	anything	remotely	like	that	.	especially	since	he	is	portrayed	to	be	in	his	mid	twenties	at	the	least	and	almost	ready	to	take	the	throne	.	the	characters	of	danielle	(	cinderella	)	played	by	drew	barrymore	,	and	that	of	the	evil	step	mother	,	played	by	anjelica	huston	,	are	well	developed	and	well	played	by	the	two	women	.	although	the	part	of	danielle	is	a	bit	stretched	it	is	not	too	unlikely	and	not	totally	unbelievable	.	the	nuances	of	the	character	are	brought	out	well	by	drew	barrymore	and	from	watching	the	movie	it	seems	like	she	had	fun	making	the	movie	.	as	a	contrast	the	part	of	the	evil	step	mother	is	clearly	seen	from	the	very	beginning	and	is	almost	clique	.	but	,	anjelica	huston	seems	to	add	a	certain	flair	to	the	role	that	makes	it	suit	the	movie	nearly	perfectly	.	the	actual	story	is	fairly	predictable	since	it	is	after	all	the	basic	story	of	cinderella	,	but	there	are	more	than	enough	twists	in	how	the	story	is	told	to	make	it	interesting	and	enjoyable	.	the	acting	is	of	high	caliber	and	seems	deserved	of	praise	.	all	in	all	this	movie	takes	you	back	into	history	,	into	a	seemingly	magical	fairy	land	.	but	,	don't	get	me	wrong	there	is	nothing	but	reality	,	it	is	just	refreshing	to	watch	a	movie	that	is	not	based	in	a	familiar	setting	with	everyday	familiar	things	happening	.	so	although	the	story	is	basically	familiar	the	world	it	is	set	in	is	not	,	and	that	adds	a	dimension	to	the	film	which	in	this	humble	reviewers	opinion	makes	it	worth	seeing
pos	congratulations	to	kate	winslet	for	defying	the	odds	,	by	choosing	to	play	the	lead	role	in	the	small	,	but	beautiful	hideous	kinky	as	a	follow	up	to	her	oscar	nominated	turn	in	titanic	,	the	highest	grossing	and	most	expensive	film	of	all	time	.	but	was	this	really	such	a	surprise	?	not	at	all	,	once	you	look	at	the	wide	range	of	films	that	the	british	actress	appeared	in	before	titanic	.	she	showed	incredible	talent	at	a	young	age	in	such	films	as	jude	,	heavenly	creatures	and	sense	and	sensibility	(	for	which	she	recieved	her	first	oscar	nomination	)	.	her	latest	,	hideous	kinky	,	is	an	exotic	odyssey	that	is	much	more	than	a	star	vehicle	.	hideous	kinky	is	not	a	plot	driven	movie	,	but	it	tells	the	tale	of	a	hippie	named	julia	(	kate	winslet	)	who	has	brought	her	two	young	girls	(	bella	riza	and	carrie	mullan	)	to	morocco	to	find	peace	,	love	,	and	faith	in	the	early	70's	.	while	in	london	,	the	children's	father	thrives	as	a	poet	,	julia	has	no	money	.	it	is	then	that	she	meets	bilal	(	said	taghmaoui	)	,	a	moroccan	ex	con	who	is	hiding	from	his	past	.	he	wins	the	affection	of	julia	and	her	children	and	he	becomes	like	a	father	to	them	.	bilal	seems	to	be	a	nice	man	,	but	he	often	vanishes	at	times	when	he	is	needed	.	for	all	the	wonder	of	hideous	kinky	,	the	real	pleasure	comes	from	watching	the	two	little	girls	onscreen	.	they	both	run	around	screaming	wild	phrases	like	"	hideous	kinky	!	"	and	each	character	is	a	presence	on	her	own	.	it	is	rare	for	children	to	dominate	a	film	,	especially	when	matched	up	against	kate	winslet	,	who	gives	one	of	her	better	performances	.	hideous	kinky	reminded	me	a	little	of	this	year's	a	walk	on	the	moon	,	because	both	are	similar	tales	of	a	woman	trying	to	find	herself	during	the	same	time	period	.	hideous	kinky's	wondrous	soundtrack	combines	moroccan	music	with	60's	hits	,	and	john	de	borman's	luscious	cinematography	makes	the	film	what	it	is	.	director	gillies	mackinnon	(	regeneration	,	a	simple	twist	of	fate	)	has	crafted	a	spritual	gem	,	scripted	by	brother	billy	.	mackinnon	lets	kate	winslet	show	depth	unseen	in	titanic	,	and	he	shows	a	talent	for	working	with	young	actors	.	as	for	the	film's	title	;	it's	a	bit	misleading	,	and	i	still	haven't	figured	out	what	it	means	.	but	hideous	kinky	is	an	independent	film	that	takes	us	to	places	we've	never	been	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	"	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	men	have	feelings	too	.	men	cry	,	despite	the	stigma	attached	to	their	gender	,	or	at	least	they	want	to	more	than	they	let	on	.	it's	all	societal	conditioning	.	that's	the	pretentious	premise	of	this	never	ending	,	two	hour	look	at	couple	dysfunction	.	with	a	highly	acclaimed	cast	that	includes	anthony	lapaglia	,	barbara	hershey	,	and	geoffrey	rush	you	would	hope	this	idea	would	provide	great	material	for	such	illustrious	actors	to	sink	their	teeth	into	.	unfortunately	,	having	been	adapted	for	the	screen	from	a	play	,	by	the	playwright	himself	,	much	of	the	emotional	impact	is	lost	in	overwhelmingly	dramatic	dialogue	.	valerie	(	hershey	)	,	married	to	john	(	rush	)	,	is	a	therapist	,	and	her	patients'	lives	are	starting	to	intrude	on	her	own	mental	state	.	her	daughter	was	horribly	murdered	two	years	before	and	her	marriage	has	been	stagnant	ever	since	.	she	and	john	love	each	other	but	cannot	connect	.	one	of	valerie's	patients	,	patrick	,	is	a	homosexual	who	continually	talks	of	an	affair	with	a	married	man	.	slowly	,	valerie	becomes	convinced	that	the	divide	between	she	and	john	is	larger	than	she	thought	,	possibly	as	a	result	of	patrick	.	then	there's	leon	(	lapaglia	)	a	cop	married	to	the	beautiful	and	vibrant	sonja	(	kerry	armstrong	)	,	who	is	secretly	going	to	valerie	for	therapy	.	leon	is	having	an	affair	with	jane	(	rachael	blake	)	,	though	he	is	still	in	love	with	his	wife	,	as	an	attempt	to	feel	something	.	jane	herself	is	consistently	lonely	after	separating	from	her	husband	and	often	spies	on	the	family	next	door	.	these	circles	become	claustrophobic	because	valerie	suddenly	disappears	one	evening	.	leon	is	put	on	the	case	as	a	detective	and	breaks	off	his	affair	with	jane	,	but	still	can't	get	his	life	in	order	.	these	factors	combine	to	create	many	a	scene	in	which	men	are	trying	to	express	emotions	and	mistakes	to	one	another	,	and	fail	miserably	.	to	give	the	film	some	credit	,	it	is	able	to	portray	masculine	anxiety	in	reacting	to	a	situation	too	much	like	a	stereotypical	woman	would	.	the	real	problem	is	that	during	sympathetic	moments	,	emotive	speeches	seem	forced	on	all	the	characters	that	are	uttering	them	.	while	the	acting	is	basically	impeccable	,	the	conversations	are	unreal	and	difficult	to	accept	,	even	at	their	most	dramatic	climaxes	.	it	doesn't	help	that	,	when	these	men	are	trying	to	talk	to	one	another	,	there	is	repetitive	whining	about	how	men	aren't	suppose	to	cry	or	show	emotion	.	still	,	what	keeps	things	interesting	is	that	every	person	involved	is	heavily	flawed	.	they	lie	and	cheat	and	find	it	difficult	to	learn	from	their	mistakes	.	there's	always	hope	,	in	a	new	scene	filled	with	tension	,	that	some	kind	of	new	barrier	will	be	breached	,	that	some	catharsis	will	come	through	.	the	plot	is	hazy	enough	,	as	are	its	characters	,	that	any	growth	or	change	is	unpredictable	.	to	see	the	little	details	that	spring	from	the	characters'	effects	on	each	other	rings	true	enough	.	what	also	works	are	the	dysfunctional	marriage	scenes	between	husband	and	wife	.	communication	comes	through	looks	and	stares	instead	of	accusatory	speeches	.	the	annoying	chatter	present	when	it's	two	movie	character	men	talking	is	thankfully	left	out	.	lantana's	strengths	and	weaknesses	,	like	its	characters	,	balance	each	other	out	.	not	a	flaw	can	be	found	in	how	it	articulates	difficulty	within	a	marriage	.	if	only	it	would	stop	complaining	about	how	men	are	raised	.
pos	based	on	the	laura	zigman	novel	,	animal	husbandry	,	someone	like	you	is	a	romantic	comedy	about	a	late	night	tv	talent	coordinator	named	jane	(	ashley	judd	)	,	whose	luck	in	love	is	predictably	bad	.	so	predictable	is	her	misfortune	,	in	fact	,	that	she	has	devised	a	pervasive	theory	on	the	subject	,	revolving	around	the	notion	that	men	are	like	cattle	.	when	she	meets	her	show's	new	executive	,	ray	(	kinnear	,	you've	got	mail	)	,	however	,	her	luck	she	thinks	begins	to	change	.	but	ray	,	she	discovers	,	is	just	a	typical	bull	,	looking	to	spread	his	seed	in	wider	pastures	.	and	it's	not	until	he	dumps	her	for	his	ex	girlfriend	that	she	realizes	the	true	depth	of	her	plight	.	jane	,	it	seems	,	is	an	old	cow	.	and	ray	is	looking	for	a	new	cow	.	this	joke	more	or	less	carries	the	film	,	and	though	interesting	at	first	it	gets	old	after	its	twentieth	or	fiftieth	appearance	in	the	script	.	fortunately	,	though	,	the	film's	fresh	,	funny	dialogue	packs	enough	power	to	keep	things	interesting	.	and	the	wry	,	cynical	performance	of	hugh	jackman	(	x	men	)	as	the	incorrigibly	good	timing	eddie	drops	in	just	in	time	to	prevent	the	entire	film	from	degenerating	into	a	ridiculously	softball	piece	of	fluff	.	these	combine	with	quick	,	quirky	editing	to	provide	enough	stimuli	to	keep	most	audiences	alert	for	this	sub	two	hour	picture	.	those	needing	a	little	more	stimulation	than	that	(	men	,	mostly	)	should	take	heart	in	the	fact	that	ashley's	underpants	scene	from	the	movie's	trailer	is	served	justly	on	the	big	screen	.	(	though	anyone	looking	for	world	class	cheerleading	sequences	will	be	saddened	to	learn	that	judd's	jumping	splits	performance	was	ruined	by	her	inability	to	keep	both	legs	straight	in	midair	.	for	the	record	,	this	didn't	bother	me	a	bit	.	)	judd	carries	her	role	with	a	meg	ryan	esque	charm	that	should	prove	valuable	in	future	productions	,	while	jackman	proves	he	has	all	the	qualities	of	a	rugged	,	enviable	leading	man	.	the	supporting	cast	is	funny	,	and	well	placed	,	as	well	particularly	ellen	barkin	as	the	host	of	the	late	night	show	.	much	to	my	surprise	,	someone	like	you	made	for	a	funny	,	enjoyable	picture	right	up	until	its	final	moments	,	when	it	completely	brained	itself	by	falling	into	the	usual	rut	of	romantic	comedy	conclusions	.	with	its	richness	of	dialogue	and	editing	,	i	was	certain	it	might	have	overcome	its	genre	to	set	some	new	precedent	in	romantic	comedy	cheese	.	but	no	.	in	the	end	,	this	is	still	a	warm	,	fuzzy	picture	with	enough	wit	to	satisfy	most	audiences	in	need	of	a	laugh	.	ladies	:	go	for	the	humor	.	gents	:	stay	for	the	underpants	.
pos	i	didn't	read	mitch	albom's	book	,	tuesdays	with	morrie	,	which	spent	about	two	jillion	years	on	the	bestseller	lists	.	but	based	on	the	movie	,	i	can	see	why	so	many	people	bought	the	book	and	why	it's	ripe	for	criticism	.	as	brandeis	university	professor	morrie	schwartz's	body	deteriorated	from	lou	gehrig's	disease	,	former	student	albom	decided	to	record	the	man's	thoughts	on	an	array	of	topics	.	if	the	movie	is	anything	like	the	book	,	then	morrie	sounds	like	the	world's	foremost	pop	psychologist	.	and	that's	part	of	the	problem	i	had	watching	the	adaptation	.	albom	claims	that	morrie	was	"	a	force	"	in	the	classroom	,	but	he	gets	stuck	saying	things	like	"	once	you	learn	how	to	die	,	you	learn	how	to	live	.	"	albom	is	certainly	a	happier	person	for	having	talked	to	his	teacher	,	but	i	get	the	feeling	he	could	have	rented	old	yeller	or	watched	a	few	self	help	infomercials	and	came	out	ok	.	sarcastic	comments	aside	,	i	can't	fault	a	made	for	tv	movie	that	has	sturdy	,	sensitive	performances	and	good	intentions	.	if	i	can	be	taught	about	the	values	of	life	and	not	want	to	smack	any	of	the	characters	upside	the	head	,	then	the	movie	can't	be	all	that	bad	.	hank	azaria	(	the	birdcage	)	plays	albom	,	a	work	obsessed	detroit	sportswriter	who	is	constantly	on	the	go	.	his	world	stops	when	he	sees	a	news	special	profiling	morrie's	condition	.	some	15	years	after	promising	to	keep	in	touch	and	not	doing	so	,	albom	decides	to	visit	his	professor	.	pretty	soon	,	they	regularly	meet	on	tuesdays	morrie's	old	office	hours	.	jack	lemmon	plays	morrie	,	a	man	whose	indomitable	spirit	is	still	whole	regardless	of	the	medical	obstacles	he	faces	.	it's	a	role	that	could	have	been	played	like	a	geriatric	patch	adams	,	but	lemmon	(	one	of	the	best	actors	of	his	generation	)	handles	the	role	with	grace	.	azaria	,	always	an	undervalued	actor	,	does	a	good	job	and	even	sounds	a	bit	like	albom	,	a	regular	on	espn	.	azaria	has	always	had	a	slightly	cynical	streak	to	him	that	makes	him	more	human	.	that	trait	serves	him	especially	well	in	this	occasionally	sudsy	,	but	overall	entertaining	fare	.
pos	the	thin	red	line	(	m	)	.	(	twentieth	century	fox	)	director	:	terrence	malick	stars	:	sean	penn	,	nick	nolte	,	jim	caviezel	,	john	cusack	,	elias	koteas	,	woody	harrelson	,	ben	chaplin	,	jared	leton	,	adrien	brody	,	george	clooney	,	john	c	reilly	,	john	travolta	,	john	savage	,	arie	verveen	,	dash	mihok	running	time	:	171	minutes	.	writer	director	terrence	malick	can	hardly	be	called	prolific	.	he	made	only	two	films	(	the	critically	acclaimed	badlands	and	days	of	heaven	)	in	the	mid	'70's	,	before	taking	a	self	imposed	twenty	year	hiatus	from	hollywood	.	his	first	film	in	two	decades	is	one	of	the	most	eagerly	anticipated	cinema	events	this	side	of	the	new	star	wars	film	.	while	it	is	certainly	visually	impressive	,	malick's	the	thin	red	line	is	something	of	a	disappointment	,	especially	when	compared	with	spielberg's	achievement	in	the	recent	devastating	and	unforgettable	saving	private	ryan	.	based	on	the	novel	by	james	jones	,	the	thin	red	line	deals	with	us	forces	fighting	the	japanese	army	at	guadalcanal	,	a	bitter	and	costly	campaign	that	became	one	of	the	turning	points	of	w	.	w	.	ii	.	however	,	malick's	epic	war	film	is	a	different	animal	to	spielberg's	.	unlike	spielberg	,	malick	doesn't	immediately	hurtle	us	into	the	inferno	of	battle	.	instead	,	he	lulls	us	into	the	brutality	of	war	through	an	extended	prologue	.	witt	(	jim	caviezel	)	,	an	awol	soldier	,	lives	in	short	lived	tranquillity	in	a	peaceful	native	village	somewhere	in	the	pacific	.	he	becomes	part	of	the	massive	us	landing	force	at	guadalcanal	.	the	film's	centrepiece	is	the	extended	and	savage	campaign	to	destroy	japanese	machine	gun	fortifications	and	take	a	crucial	hill	.	this	often	graphic	and	quite	harrowing	battle	occupies	over	half	of	the	film's	three	hour	running	time	.	however	,	the	action	lacks	the	intensity	and	ferocity	of	spielberg's	recreation	of	the	fury	of	warfare	.	it	also	seems	to	lack	that	gritty	air	of	authenticity	that	seemed	to	effectively	suck	audiences	into	the	maelstrom	.	the	combat	scenes	give	the	audience	the	extremes	of	heroism	.	but	malick	is	also	concerned	with	showing	the	madness	of	battle	fatigue	,	and	the	film	depicts	the	senseless	loss	of	life	and	futile	carnage	of	the	war	.	the	thin	red	line	is	almost	a	profound	and	almost	poetic	meditation	on	the	nature	of	war	and	how	it	poisons	man's	soul	.	there's	nothing	noble	about	this	bloody	conflict	,	and	,	ultimately	,	there	are	no	winners	.	the	film	was	shot	on	location	,	partly	in	tropical	far	north	queensland	as	well	as	in	the	solomon	islands	.	such	is	malick's	reputation	that	he	had	a	veritable	who's	who	of	hollywood	queuing	up	for	small	roles	,	including	john	travolta	,	john	cusack	,	woody	harrelson	,	george	clooney	,	and	sean	penn	.	unfortunately	,	though	,	few	of	the	characters	leave	a	lasting	impact	on	the	audience	,	and	i	found	that	i	didn't	really	care	about	them	or	their	fate	.	nick	nolte	is	dynamic	as	the	obsessed	and	driven	colonel	who	relishes	his	first	opportunity	to	fight	a	war	after	fifteen	years	in	the	army	,	and	who	doesn't	care	how	many	men	have	to	lose	their	lives	in	securing	a	vital	strategic	position	.	caviezel	brings	a	human	face	to	the	film	as	witt	,	the	reluctant	soldier	who	ultimately	becomes	a	hero	when	tested	in	battle	.	the	thin	red	line	is	certainly	malick's	most	epic	and	ambitious	film	to	date	,	and	it	is	as	meticulously	crafted	and	evocative	as	his	previous	work	.	he	gives	this	war	film	an	almost	elegiac	quality	and	a	rare	humanity	.	his	sweeping	vision	is	complemented	by	the	spectacularly	gorgeous	cinematography	of	dual	oscar	winner	john	toll	and	the	haunting	score	from	hans	zimmer	.
pos	spy	kids	(	2001	)	antonio	banderas	,	carla	gugino	,	alexa	vega	,	daryl	sabara	,	alan	cumming	,	tony	shalhoub	,	teri	hatcher	,	cheech	marin	,	robert	patrick	,	george	clooney	.	music	by	danny	elfman	,	gavin	greenaway	heitor	pereira	,	john	debney	,	robert	rodriguez	and	los	lobos	.	written	,	edited	and	directed	by	robert	rodriguez	.	86	minutes	.	rated	pg	,	3	.	5	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	com	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	one	of	the	best	things	about	my	job	is	that	,	every	so	often	,	a	film	still	catches	me	by	surprise	.	"	spy	kids	"	certainly	did	.	an	adventure	story	aimed	primarily	at	children	,	the	movie	is	smart	,	zippy	fun	.	the	production	neither	panders	nor	talks	down	to	its	audience	.	the	brother	and	sister	at	the	center	of	the	tale	are	believable	,	likable	kids	and	their	parents	are	get	ready	for	this	intelligent	,	capable	and	loving	.	bathroom	humor	is	kept	to	a	minimum	and	the	numerous	well	staged	action	scenes	avoid	excessive	violence	.	what	a	relief	it	is	to	be	able	to	review	an	all	ages	film	on	its	artistic	merits	and	not	its	ethics	.	consider	the	other	pg	rated	"	family	friendly	"	movie	in	theaters	now	.	"	see	spot	run	"	has	a	mother	going	out	of	town	,	leaving	her	son	with	an	idiot	neighbor	.	body	function	humor	abounds	,	including	a	slapstick	bit	that	has	the	adult	male	lead	repeatedly	falling	in	dog	poop	.	what	really	disturbs	me	are	the	jokes	that	bookend	the	film	.	the	story	begins	with	a	police	dog	capturing	a	mobster	and	biting	off	one	of	his	testicles	in	the	process	.	at	the	hospital	,	the	doctors	explain	that	they	replaced	the	testicle	with	a	metal	ball	and	joke	that	the	victim	is	lucky	the	dog	didn't	bit	off	the	other	one	,	because	two	metal	replacement	balls	would	clack	together	.	of	course	,	the	movie	ends	with	the	dog	biting	off	the	remaining	testicle	and	shows	prisoners	laughing	at	the	criminal	as	he	clacks	past	their	cells	.	somebody	clue	me	in	when	did	genital	mutilation	become	funny	?	"	spy	kids	"	is	a	welcome	antidote	to	the	repellent	"	see	spot	run	,	"	using	imagination	instead	of	cruelty	and	crudeness	.	carmen	(	alexa	vega	)	and	her	younger	brother	juni	(	daryl	sabara	)	live	in	a	beautiful	seaside	home	with	their	parents	,	gregorio	(	antonio	banderas	)	and	ingrid	cortez	(	carla	gugino	)	.	mom	and	dad	are	a	sultry	couple	devoted	to	their	children	.	what	the	kids	don't	know	is	that	they	are	also	former	spies	.	once	agents	from	different	countries	assigned	to	"	erase	"	each	other	,	they	instead	fell	in	love	,	married	and	retired	to	raise	a	family	.	needless	to	say	,	they	get	drawn	back	to	the	business	.	shortly	into	their	first	joint	mission	,	they	are	captured	and	end	up	in	the	headquarters	of	fegan	floop	(	alan	cumming	)	,	a	foppish	hybrid	of	willy	wonka	and	pee	wee	herman	who	hosts	juni's	favorite	tv	show	.	but	there	is	evil	behind	the	scenes	,	as	inventors	prepare	an	army	of	robots	disguised	as	children	.	papa	gregorio	has	the	device	necessary	to	radically	increase	the	efficiency	of	the	creatures	and	the	bad	guys	will	stop	at	nothing	to	get	it	from	him	.	back	at	home	,	"	uncle	"	felix	(	cheech	marin	)	shows	up	to	reveal	mom	and	dad's	secret	to	the	kids	.	after	a	brief	respite	at	a	safe	house	filled	with	enough	cool	gadgets	for	a	dozen	sharper	image	stores	,	carmen	and	juni	set	off	to	find	their	parents	and	save	the	world	,	zooming	through	the	sea	in	a	submarine	pod	that	looks	like	a	goldfish	,	while	a	slew	of	wicked	people	(	including	teri	hatcher	)	chase	them	.	during	the	course	of	their	adventures	,	they	get	to	use	jet	packs	,	electroshock	bubblegum	and	super	computer	sunglasses	.	they	watch	as	secret	agents	are	transformed	into	bizarre	creatures	with	silly	putty	faces	and	used	as	background	characters	on	floop's	tv	show	.	they	deal	with	guards	that	have	huge	thumbs	where	their	arms	,	legs	and	heads	would	normally	be	(	why	are	the	guards	so	ineffective	?	because	they're	all	thumbs	!	)	they	move	from	one	colorful	locale	to	another	,	including	a	nifty	virtual	reality	room	reminiscent	of	the	holodeck	from	"	star	trek	.	"	the	storyline	is	silly	and	convoluted	,	but	even	at	its	most	dense	,	it	is	easier	to	follow	than	either	"	mission	:	impossible	"	movie	.	director	robert	rodriguez	(	"	from	dusk	to	dawn	"	)	maintains	a	frenetic	pace	,	with	the	whole	film	clocking	in	at	a	mere	86	minutes	.	a	bit	less	action	and	a	little	more	character	development	would	have	been	nice	,	but	he	does	provide	enough	quiet	moments	for	viewers	to	become	fully	invested	in	the	family	.	alexa	vega	and	daryl	sabara	make	an	agreeable	brother	and	sister	team	,	squabbling	the	way	kids	do	,	but	coming	together	when	it	counts	.	antonio	banderas	and	carla	gugino	are	even	better	as	the	parents	;	they	quickly	establish	and	maintain	a	great	lusty	chemistry	while	keeping	their	tongues	properly	in	cheek	during	the	action	scenes	.	even	the	usually	irritating	alan	cumming	has	some	nice	moments	a	virtual	cloud	backed	chat	between	his	character	and	juni	is	one	of	the	best	segments	in	the	film	.	had	rodriguez	added	a	few	more	scenes	like	that	,	i	would	have	enjoyed	the	film	more	(	and	i	definitely	could	have	lived	without	the	glaring	product	placement	for	a	certain	mc	ubiquitous	company	)	.	regardless	,	"	spy	kids	"	is	a	hoot	,	offering	fun	for	adults	and	children	alike	.	and	just	think	,	they	managed	to	do	it	without	sacrificing	a	single	testicle	.
pos	1	2	(	out	of	4	)	i've	never	been	a	huge	fan	of	jeff	bridges	,	but	i	loved	him	in	the	big	lebowski	.	the	part	of	jeff	"	the	dude	"	lebowski	was	reportedly	written	specifically	with	bridges	in	mind	,	and	the	fit	is	perfect	.	the	dude	is	an	unemployed	denizen	of	los	angeles	,	a	hippie	slob	on	a	bowling	team	with	a	soft	spot	for	white	russians	.	he's	enjoying	a	leisurely	soak	in	the	tub	when	two	thugs	break	into	his	apartment	demanding	to	be	paid	for	the	money	his	wife	owes	.	after	much	pleading	he	convinces	them	they	have	the	wrong	guy	,	but	not	before	they	urinate	on	his	rug	.	the	dude	assumes	that	these	"	collection	agents	"	were	after	another	jeff	lebowski	,	a	famous	millionaire	who	also	lives	in	l	.	a	.	so	he	goes	to	meet	his	namesake	to	ask	for	enough	money	to	replace	his	rug	.	the	millionaire	refuses	,	but	calls	him	back	when	he	discovers	his	wife	has	been	kidnaped	.	he	wants	the	dude	to	act	as	go	between	for	the	kidnapers	.	dude	and	his	friend	walter	(	john	goodman	)	take	on	the	task	,	and	get	caught	in	an	intricate	web	of	kidnapers	,	millionaires	,	high	schoolers	,	nihilists	,	artists	,	pornographers	,	thugs	,	and	league	bowlers	.	comedy	is	perhaps	the	most	subjective	of	genres	,	so	take	my	recommendation	as	you	will	:	for	me	,	the	big	lebowski	is	very	funny	.	it	is	an	incredibly	successful	comedy	,	the	ratio	of	laughs	to	intended	jokes	much	higher	than	in	most	films	.	not	only	are	the	two	leads	(	bridges	and	goodman	)	funny	separately	and	together	,	but	each	supporting	character	is	a	refreshing	comic	figure	.	all	the	characters	end	up	as	the	butt	of	jokes	,	but	the	jokes	are	always	deserved	and	never	contrived	.	each	person	may	be	a	comic	caricature	,	but	there	is	always	a	respectful	self	acceptance	that	lets	us	laugh	at	these	people	without	condescension	.	the	characters	are	firmly	established	,	and	they	never	change	their	behavior	for	a	quick	,	cheap	laugh	.	it's	not	what	they	do	that's	funny	,	it's	who	they	are	,	which	is	why	the	acting	is	so	important	,	and	so	successful	,	in	this	movie	.	worth	mentioning	are	john	turturro	as	jesus	(	that's	jee	zus	,	not	hay	soos	)	,	the	greaser	bowler	who's	in	a	lusty	marriage	with	the	game	;	julianne	moore	as	the	post	post	feminist	artist	whose	work	has	been	described	as	"	vaginal	;	"	steve	buscemi	as	the	eager	tagalong	bowler	who	is	constantly	rebuked	and	ignored	by	teammates	dude	and	walter	;	and	sam	elliott	as	the	rambling	,	long	winded	narrator	.	aside	from	the	performances	,	what	makes	all	the	characters	funny	and	interesting	is	the	astute	dialogue	.	people	lose	trains	of	thought	,	they	interrupt	,	they	boast	,	they	repeat	themselves	,	they	repeat	their	friends	.	.	.	they	sound	natural	.	taken	with	fargo	,	the	coen	brothers'	last	film	,	it	is	evidence	that	the	brothers	are	observant	listeners	and	gifted	writers	.	ethan	coen	is	not	just	good	at	directing	actors	,	he's	also	good	at	technical	directing	.	he	and	cinematographr	roger	deakins	created	a	beautiful	world	on	film	.	perhaps	"	beautiful	"	is	the	wrong	word	;	nihilists	,	carpet	pissers	and	thugs	are	not	objects	of	beauty	.	but	the	bowling	photography	and	a	series	of	viking	bowling	fantasy	dream	sequences	are	lovingly	photographed	,	as	though	the	dude	himself	were	in	charge	of	immortalizing	them	on	film	.	all	around	,	the	big	lebowski	is	great	,	solid	comedy	.	outstanding	acting	,	writing	,	direction	and	photography	all	combine	to	make	this	a	great	comic	success	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	year	:	1999	.	starring	the	voices	of	tom	hanks	,	tim	allen	,	joan	cusack	,	kelsey	grammer	,	don	rickles	,	jim	varney	,	wallace	shawn	,	john	ratzenberger	,	annie	potts	,	wayne	knight	.	story	by	john	lasseter	,	peter	docter	,	ash	brannon	,	andrew	stanton	.	screenplay	by	andrew	stanton	,	rita	hsiao	,	doug	chamberlain	,	chris	webb	.	directed	by	john	lasseter	.	rated	g	.	most	sequels	don't	do	what	they're	supposed	to	do	like	"	toy	story	2	"	does	.	far	too	many	of	them	end	up	re	hashing	the	original	and	adding	very	little	.	is	it	any	wonder	that	most	sequels	fail	to	live	up	to	their	predecessors	?	thankfully	,	"	toy	story	2	"	is	a	wonderful	exception	.	i	can't	remember	the	last	time	i	saw	a	sequel	as	consistently	fun	and	inventive	as	this	one	.	it's	yet	another	sign	that	pixar	,	the	acclaimed	animation	studio	behind	"	toy	story	"	and	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	is	still	at	the	top	of	its	game	.	woody	and	buzz	are	back	in	the	sequel	to	the	1995	hit	"	toy	story	,	"	and	things	have	changed	a	bit	since	the	last	one	ended	.	woody	(	voiced	by	tom	hanks	)	is	preparing	to	leave	with	his	owner	andy	for	cowboy	camp	.	in	his	absence	,	he	has	assigned	buzz	lightyear	(	tim	allen	)	,	now	comfortable	in	his	role	as	a	toy	,	to	take	charge	.	unfortunately	,	woody's	trip	is	ruined	when	he	is	accidentally	put	into	the	family	garage	sale	,	and	is	stolen	by	an	over	zealous	toy	collector	(	wayne	knight	)	.	off	to	save	him	are	buzz	and	members	of	the	old	"	toy	gang	,	"	including	mr	.	potato	head	(	don	rickles	)	,	rex	the	nervous	dinosaur	(	wallace	shawn	)	,	hamm	the	piggy	bank	(	john	ratzenberger	)	,	and	slinky	dog	(	jim	varney	)	.	while	in	captivity	,	woody	makes	a	startling	discovery	:	he	is	actually	part	of	a	collection	of	toys	based	on	a	1950's	children's	show	entitled	"	woody's	roundup	.	"	he	meets	the	show's	other	characters	,	which	include	jesse	(	joan	cusack	)	,	his	cowgirl	sidekick	,	the	wise	old	prospector	(	kelsey	grammer	)	,	and	bullseye	,	his	trusty	horse	.	they	have	all	been	anxiously	awaiting	woody's	arrival	,	as	once	their	set	is	completed	,	they	will	be	sold	to	a	japanese	toy	museum	,	and	finally	escape	storage	forever	.	this	means	woody	now	faces	a	difficult	choice	.	with	his	friends	coming	to	rescue	him	,	does	he	go	with	them	and	spend	a	few	more	years	with	andy	,	or	does	he	go	to	japan	and	be	immortalized	forever	?	as	in	the	original	film	,	"	toy	story	2	"	contains	first	rate	animation	,	and	pixar	studios	has	done	a	remarkable	job	improving	on	the	impressive	work	they	did	there	.	reportedly	,	the	film	was	originally	slated	for	a	direct	to	video	release	,	but	after	seeing	the	improvements	that	had	been	made	,	disney	rightly	decided	to	release	it	into	theaters	.	the	film	is	well	worth	seeing	on	the	big	screen	.	the	colors	are	bright	,	the	textures	sharp	,	and	even	the	human	characters	look	more	"	human	.	"	the	animation	is	consistently	seamless	,	with	the	action	fast	and	furious	and	the	facial	expressions	believable	.	there	are	so	many	impressive	sequences	that	i'd	find	it	impossible	to	list	them	here	,	but	i	was	particularly	wowed	by	a	scene	where	buzz	and	his	cohorts	must	get	across	a	busy	intersection	to	get	to	al'	s	toy	barn	,	the	store	owned	by	woody's	captor	.	pixar's	rendition	of	the	family	dog	is	also	nicely	done	,	with	fur	so	realistic	you	almost	feel	you	could	reach	out	and	touch	it	.	the	voice	work	is	also	perfectly	complementary	,	and	as	with	the	first	movie	,	does	much	to	help	further	character	development	.	tom	hanks	and	tim	allen	again	disappear	into	their	roles	as	woody	and	buzz	,	making	you	forget	who	is	doing	the	voice	.	it	was	woody	and	buzz	up	there	,	not	tom	and	tim	.	all	the	cast	members	from	the	original	reprise	their	roles	,	and	each	is	excellent	.	several	new	voices	have	been	added	,	with	joan	cusack	,	kelsey	grammer	,	and	wayne	knight	doing	fine	work	.	"	toy	story	2	"	is	strong	in	characterization	,	and	is	able	to	expand	on	what	we	saw	in	the	first	movie	.	woody	faces	difficult	choices	,	while	buzz	is	confronted	with	a	new	buzz	who	hasn't	yet	realized	his	status	as	a	toy	,	forcing	him	to	see	what	he	used	to	be	like	.	the	new	characters	are	also	developed	quite	well	,	especially	jesse	,	who	narrates	a	sarah	mclachlan	aided	flashback	illustrating	how	she	was	loved	,	then	forgotten	by	her	owner	.	it	may	be	computer	animated	,	and	it	may	have	sappy	music	,	but	it's	downright	touching	.	the	script	,	despite	having	a	story	and	screenplay	each	credited	to	four	different	writers	,	is	endlessly	clever	and	inventive	,	especially	considering	that	it's	a	sequel	.	the	reason	"	toy	story	2	"	works	where	other	movie	sequels	fail	is	that	it	refuses	to	just	capitalize	on	the	original's	success	by	re	doing	the	same	story	and	using	the	same	characters	.	not	this	one	.	we	get	character	change	,	new	characters	,	and	new	issues	brought	up	.	"	toy	story	2	"	is	also	remarkable	for	the	way	in	which	it	keeps	reinventing	itself	.	there	is	always	another	clever	idea	waiting	just	around	the	corner	here	.	the	humor	is	sharp	and	witty	,	with	something	to	amuse	both	kids	and	adults	.	there	are	funny	asides	to	films	such	as	"	star	wars	"	and	"	jurassic	park	,	"	among	others	,	new	takes	on	classic	toys	like	barbie	and	rock	'em	sock	'em	robots	,	and	appearances	from	other	pixar	efforts	"	a	bug's	life	"	and	the	1997	short	"	geri	's	game	.	"	(	geri	himself	makes	an	appearance	as	a	toy	repairman	who	fixes	woody's	broken	arm	.	)	the	action	is	fast	and	furious	,	and	the	chases	(	in	the	street	,	in	a	toy	store	,	in	an	elevator	,	on	a	baggage	carousel	,	and	in	an	airplane	)	keep	getting	bigger	and	better	.	"	toy	story	2	"	never	grows	stagnant	,	because	there	is	always	something	new	to	hold	your	interest	.	the	more	you	pay	attention	to	it	,	the	more	rewarding	it	is	.	it's	rare	to	see	a	film	like	"	toy	story	2	"	come	along	,	because	it's	the	kind	of	film	that's	almost	impossible	to	dislike	.	it's	created	purely	to	entertain	,	and	though	i	enjoy	a	thought	provoking	drama	as	much	as	the	next	person	,	it's	nice	to	see	that	films	are	still	trying	to	do	exactly	what	movies	first	tried	to	do	:	send	us	out	with	a	smile	.	it's	a	fair	bet	that	the	whole	family	will	have	smiles	on	their	collective	faces	after	seeing	"	toy	story	2	.	"	it's	the	rare	sequel	that	manages	to	expand	on	,	and	live	up	to	,	the	original	.
pos	rated	r	for	strong	language	,	crude	sexual	humor	,	violence	and	some	nudity	.	voices	.	.	.	.	.	trey	parker	,	matt	stone	,	george	clooney	,	minnie	driver	.	"	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	and	uncut	"	is	undoubtedly	crude	,	offensive	,	mean	spirited	movie	,	that	comes	off	as	a	politcally	correct	movie	too	.	if	your	canadian	,	a	strong	christian	,	fat	,	gay	or	anything	else	,	you	will	be	offended	.	but	when	you	watch	this	movie	,	there	is	no	doubt	that	you	will	laugh	.	based	on	the	wildly	popular	comedy	central	tv	show	,	south	park	stars	cartman	,	an	overweight	,	foul	mouthed	kid	,	with	attitude	,	and	a	sweet	side	.	kenny	,	a	poor	kid	who	gets	killed	in	every	episode	,	and	talks	with	his	coat	hood	covering	his	head	.	stan	a	regular	,	sometimes	boring	kid	who	has	problems	with	women	.	and	kyle	a	lonely	jew	who	talks	to	his	poop	.	the	movie	opens	with	a	funny	,	but	messageable	song	,	that	all	of	the	people	of	south	park	sing	.	cartman	,	stan	,	kenny	and	kyle	are	very	excited	to	see	the	new	terrance	and	phillip	(	beavis	and	butthead	types	)	movie	"	asses	of	fire	"	.	but	when	the	kids	get	up	to	the	movie	to	get	the	tickets	,	they	learn	the	movie	is	rated	r	,	which	of	course	means	that	anyone	under	the	age	of	17	cannot	get	in	without	a	parent	or	legal	guardian	.	the	kids	do	not	understand	this	,	and	they	pay	a	homeless	man	to	buy	their	tickets	.	while	in	the	movie	,	laughing	at	the	movie	,	terrance	and	phillip	cuss	repeatedly	entertaining	the	kids	.	they	kids	then	go	out	and	cuss	themselves	,	getting	in	trouble	and	causing	kyle's	mom	to	go	against	the	mpaa	.	while	doing	this	kenny	learns	a	thing	or	to	,	by	proving	to	cartman	he	can	light	his	fart	on	fire	.	kenny	does	so	,	dies	,	and	goes	to	hell	,	to	find	out	that	satan	and	saddam	huiessan	(	homosexual	lovers	)	,	are	about	to	take	over	the	world	,	if	terrance	and	phillip	die	.	from	here	on	,	nothing	more	should	be	said	to	keep	the	rest	a	surprise	.	but	believe	me	,	this	isn't	your	regular	south	park	tv	show	,	and	should	not	be	seen	by	anyone	under	14	or	more	.	this	film	contains	extreme	profanity	(	over	130	"	f	"	words	and	a	collection	of	others	)	.	but	beyond	being	bad	in	a	tasteless	type	way	,	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	and	uncut	has	many	messages	that	are	embedded	inside	it	.	but	i	bet	you	will	not	leave	the	movie	,	for	at	least	laughing	one	time	or	more	.	and	enjoying	yourself	.	take	it	from	me	,	south	park	:	b	,	l	,	and	u	,	isn't	as	good	as	you'd	hope	,	but	it	is	good	for	some	laughs	.	reviewed	:	july	14th	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	movie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	starring	:	david	duchovny	(	fox	mulder	)	,	gillian	anderson	(	dana	scully	)	,	william	b	.	davis	(	the	cigarette	smoking	man	)	,	martin	landau	(	dr	.	alvin	kurtzweil	)	,	jeffrey	demunn	(	dr	.	ben	bronschweig	)	,	john	neville	(	the	well	manicured	man	)	,	mitch	pileggi	(	walter	skinner	)	directed	by	:	rob	bowman	,	written	by	:	chris	carter	from	a	story	by	chris	carter	and	frank	spotnitz	rated	pg	13	by	the	mpaa	for	violence	,	gore	,	and	profanityso	,	um	,	what's	the	truth	?	well	,	if	you	mean	you	want	the	truth	about	what	the	new	x	files	movie	is	titled	,	i	can't	really	help	you	.	the	movie	titles	only	said	the	x	files	.	the	advertisements	all	seem	to	say	the	x	files	:	fight	the	future	.	well	,	take	it	either	way	.	i	think	it's	just	the	x	files	,	but	,	well	,	i	don't	really	know	.	oh	,	did	you	want	the	truth	about	the	movie	?	as	in	,	is	it	any	good	?	well	,	i'm	not	the	biggest	expert	in	this	area	.	you	see	,	i've	only	seen	maybe	4	episodes	of	the	television	series	,	give	or	take	one	or	two	.	so	i'm	not	a	big	x	phile	.	so	it's	safe	to	say	that	it's	quite	reassuring	that	i	can	say	yes	.	it's	good	.	it's	very	good	.	it's	great	,	in	fact	.	the	first	true	ride	of	the	summer	is	here	,	and	you'll	be	kicking	yourself	if	you	don't	strap	in	to	this	one	while	it's	in	theaters	some	of	the	images	just	won't	translate	as	well	onto	a	tv	screen	.	if	you	haven't	seen	the	film	yet	,	get	up	and	go	now	.	wait	,	not	now	.	you	might	want	to	read	this	review	first	.	of	course	,	that's	really	up	to	you	,	but	still	,	you	might	want	to	.	don't	worry	,	i	won't	spoil	anything	.	i	make	a	point	to	only	talk	about	maybe	five	minutes	of	the	film	and	then	leave	the	lesser	known	details	to	you	.	okay	,	citizens	.	the	x	files	opens	up	with	us	seeing	a	freaky	beast	attack	ancient	humans	in	the	b	.	c	.	caveman	ages	.	the	beast	remains	in	shadows	so	that	we're	not	quite	sure	what	it	is	.	cut	to	the	present	day	.	we	see	a	mysterious	black	ooze	(	i	think	fans	of	the	tv	series	will	recognize	this	,	or	so	i'm	told	)	inhabit	a	little	boy	who	goes	to	the	same	spot	where	the	cavemen	were	attacked	so	long	ago	.	is	there	a	connection	?	does	bea	arthur	look	hideous	naked	?	and	from	there	,	we	cut	to	our	heroes	,	fbi	agents	mulder	and	scully	.	previously	,	they	worked	on	the	mysterious	x	files	,	files	found	in	the	darker	rooms	of	the	fbi's	hallways	,	files	which	detail	cases	too	strange	to	be	explained	by	rational	thought	and	logical	explanation	.	cases	that	seem	to	deal	with	the	supernatural	,	or	the	extraterrestrial	.	.	.	or	both	.	but	that's	ridiculous	.	well	,	scully	thinks	it's	ridiculous	.	mulder	believes	all	of	it	.	anyway	,	the	files	have	since	been	shut	down	after	mulder	pushed	his	beliefs	a	little	too	far	and	annoyed	the	wrong	people	.	now	he	and	scully	are	still	a	team	,	but	they're	a	team	of	ordinary	fbi	agents	,	dealing	with	less	interesting	things	,	like	terrorist	threats	.	yeah	,	that's	a	big	yawn	,	huh	mulder	?	of	course	,	when	something	goes	wrong	in	their	new	line	of	duty	,	the	fbi	looks	for	someone	to	blame	for	the	foul	up	,	and	even	though	it	wasn't	their	fault	,	mulder	and	scully	were	there	,	and	they're	first	in	line	to	have	the	whole	thing	put	on	their	heads	.	now	they're	going	to	try	to	clear	their	names	,	and	along	the	way	,	they're	going	to	learn	a	lot	more	about	the	mysterious	conspiracy	that's	being	run	behind	the	scenes	worldwide	,	to	hide	the	real	truth	about	just	the	kinds	of	things	that	mulder	and	scully	used	to	investigate	in	the	x	files	division	.	of	course	,	they	can't	learn	everything	there's	plenty	more	episodes	of	the	series	to	be	had	,	and	future	movies	to	be	made	.	the	performances	are	all	acted	by	people	who've	handled	these	roles	for	years	on	the	tv	show	(	with	the	exception	of	martin	landau	playing	a	new	character	and	he's	never	bad	,	so	of	course	that's	just	another	good	point	)	.	and	since	they've	had	to	time	to	develop	the	roles	,	they	make	us	feel	like	we're	watching	developed	,	layered	characters	even	if	we	don't	watch	the	show	much	,	or	at	all	.	we	really	care	about	mulder	and	scully	they	actually	have	deep	personalities	,	which	is	truly	something	to	be	appreciated	,	especially	in	today's	film	world	.	the	action	scenes	are	infrequent	,	but	tense	,	and	solid	.	really	though	,	this	story	is	driven	by	plot	and	dialogue	.	it's	a	winding	plot	that	you	have	to	pay	attention	to	,	especially	if	you're	not	a	series	afficianado	,	but	trust	me	,	it's	worth	it	.	some	of	the	scenes	are	awe	inspiring	,	and	the	scope	of	some	visuals	,	particularly	towards	the	end	,	make	you	truly	appreciate	that	this	was	made	into	a	movie	as	opposed	to	just	another	episode	of	the	show	.	the	plot	winds	around	and	around	but	always	holds	your	interest	,	thanks	in	part	to	great	performances	and	in	part	to	great	writing	that	takes	the	time	to	give	us	characterizations	of	the	people	we're	watching	instead	of	just	putting	them	through	the	paces	.	the	effects	,	when	they	show	up	,	are	also	great	.	seems	like	this	movie	works	even	for	those	who	don't	watch	the	show	,	and	i	also	find	it	very	hard	to	believe	that	those	who	do	watch	would	be	let	down	by	this	.	if	there's	a	flaw	to	this	,	it's	that	the	villians	aren't	quite	clearly	explained	enough	.	we	understand	their	motives	,	but	how	did	they	come	to	reach	these	motives	?	there	had	to	be	some	kind	of	communication	that	we	didn't	learn	about	.	i	know	,	i	know	,	i'm	keeping	this	pretty	vague	.	but	i	can	assure	you	,	i'm	not	digging	too	deep	here	,	this	is	actually	a	question	you	need	to	ask	yourself	,	and	in	the	end	,	it's	never	quite	answered	.	maybe	series	fans	know	more	on	this	subject	.	though	really	,	in	such	an	otherwise	great	movie	,	why	should	i	gripe	about	this	?	i	can't	elaborate	too	much	on	things	that	were	great	because	i	wouldn't	dare	reveal	the	plot	.	you	have	to	go	and	see	it	for	yourself	.	and	you'd	better	.	the	summer	has	had	some	letdowns	,	and	some	fun	,	but	so	far	,	this	is	the	best	ride	out	there	,	and	it's	a	damn	good	ride	that	could	hold	its	own	in	any	summer	.	.	.	or	any	season	of	any	year	,	for	that	matter	.	one	wonders	if	chris	carter	,	the	show's	creator	,	can	continue	to	make	x	files	films	that	can	stand	alone	as	their	own	series	and	still	make	them	interesting	and	relevant	to	the	viewers	at	home	.	but	there's	no	need	to	worry	about	this	now	.	now	,	all	you	have	to	do	is	go	see	the
pos	director	:	warren	beatty	cast	:	warren	beatty	,	sean	astin	,	halle	berry	,	don	cheadle	,	laurie	metcalf	,	oliver	platt	,	paul	sorvino	,	jack	warden	screenplay	:	warren	beatty	,	jeremy	pikser	producers	:	warren	beatty	,	pieter	jan	brugge	,	lauren	shuler	donner	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	20th	century	fox	rated	r	:	language	,	violence	,	drug	use	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	when	bulworth	ended	,	i	allowed	myself	a	sigh	of	relief	:	it	is	possible	for	me	to	enjoy	political	satire	.	there	have	been	several	recent	political	films	that	didn't	do	a	whole	lot	for	me	wag	the	dog	,	for	instance	,	i	found	to	be	an	intelligent	but	heartless	film	,	while	primary	colors	is	unbearable	and	unwatchable	in	its	awfulness	.	bulworth	is	a	far	better	film	than	these	,	both	in	its	execution	and	lasting	impression	.	it's	a	tremendously	funny	and	intelligent	picture	,	but	it	also	has	an	emotional	center	writer	director	star	warren	beatty	allows	the	audience	to	identify	with	his	character	,	and	,	in	turn	,	we	like	him	and	actually	care	about	the	story	.	beatty	plays	incumbent	democratic	senator	jay	billington	bulworth	;	the	film	opens	and	we	see	bulworth	sobbing	as	he	watches	his	television	spots	over	and	over	again	.	he	hasn't	slept	in	days	,	nor	has	he	eaten	,	and	,	almost	instantaneously	,	he	goes	insane	.	he's	not	stark	raving	mad	(	not	outright	,	anyway	)	,	but	he's	definitely	bonkers	.	it's	the	final	weekend	of	his	campaign	,	and	his	assistant	,	murphy	(	oliver	platt	)	has	written	him	a	speech	to	feed	to	a	group	of	black	people	in	a	church	in	the	ghetto	.	bulworth	begins	the	speech	,	but	suddenly	goes	off	track	and	just	starts	being	honest	.	"	you	mean	,	"	one	lady	asks	,	"	the	democratic	party	doesn't	care	about	the	african	american	community	?	"	"	well	,	"	he	shouts	,	laughing	,	"	isn't	that	obvious	?	"	the	story	is	propelled	by	a	device	in	which	bulworth	puts	out	a	contract	on	his	own	life	(	he	muses	later	that	it's	a	bad	thing	to	make	decisions	when	you're	suicidal	)	;	he	keeps	seeing	a	man	in	sunglasses	(	graham	beckel	)	whom	he	believes	to	be	the	hitman	.	bulworth	also	meets	nina	(	halle	berry	)	with	whom	he	becomes	infatuated	.	suddenly	,	in	the	short	span	of	this	weekend	,	bulworth's	no	nonsense	"	truth	in	politics	"	methods	become	a	national	sensation	,	and	he	shoots	ahead	in	the	polls	despite	the	fact	that	he's	appearing	on	television	wearing	gang	clothes	and	spewing	more	profanity	than	coherent	sentences	.	beatty's	work	on	both	sides	of	the	camera	is	excellent	.	his	script	and	direction	are	both	extremely	sharp	,	as	is	the	surprisingly	strong	characterization	of	bulworth	himself	.	here	is	a	man	who's	reached	his	limit	,	and	his	way	of	lashing	back	is	by	screwing	over	the	entire	political	structure	.	i	like	that	the	film	doesn't	take	a	clear	shot	at	any	of	the	political	parties	or	affiliations	,	but	at	politics	in	general	and	how	everything	is	run	by	the	rich	(	although	the	anti	rich	sentiments	do	get	a	bit	tiresome	by	the	end	of	the	film	)	.	some	of	the	segments	are	simply	hilarious	,	such	as	a	lengthy	rap	that	he	delivers	at	a	luncheon	dedicated	to	him	.	much	of	the	film	is	completely	absurd	,	but	that's	the	fun	part	about	it	.	it's	an	angry	,	serious	film	at	the	core	,	but	the	package	that	beatty	has	created	is	so	much	more	accessible	than	recent	attempts	in	the	genre	.	what	adds	to	this	feeling	is	beatty's	portrayal	of	bulworth	;	this	is	a	performance	that	deserves	recognition	on	a	higher	scale	.	beatty	is	so	much	fun	to	watch	here	he's	always	funny	,	but	he's	also	subtle	in	ways	that	flesh	out	his	character	without	dialogue	or	hugely	noticeable	actions	.	beatty	is	so	good	that	bulworth	,	despite	his	shortcomings	as	a	human	being	,	is	an	entirely	sympathetic	and	likable	character	almost	from	the	beginning	.	the	supporting	cast	is	vast	and	colorful	.	berry	is	luminous	,	as	always	,	and	adds	to	her	repertoire	of	solid	supporting	roles	.	don	cheadle	has	a	good	role	as	a	drug	dealer	who	uses	gun	toting	toddlers	to	do	his	dirty	work	.	oliver	platt	is	an	actor	who	should	be	careful	,	for	someday	i	fear	he	may	induce	a	heart	attack	with	the	intensity	of	his	acting	(	though	he's	very	funny	to	watch	)	.	paul	sorvino	adds	the	southern	accent	to	his	list	of	mastered	inflections	.	is	bulworth	offensive	?	i	suppose	some	may	see	it	that	way	.	i	wasn't	offended	by	the	film	,	but	then	again	,	i	hardly	care	about	politics	.	i	think	that	people	who	find	this	film	offensive	will	just	be	blindsided	by	the	honesty	of	the	story	.	the	film	isn't	perfect	,	of	course	the	ending	didn't	quite	work	for	me	,	and	the	a	few	of	the	scenes	between	bulworth	and	nina	feel	forced	(	although	the	eclectic	dance	sequence	is	fantastic	)	.	but	these	are	minor	quibbles	about	an	otherwise	brilliant	film	.	bulworth	is	a	smart	,	uproariously	funny	picture	that	proves	to	me	that	political	satire	can	scratch	far	deeper	than	the	surface	.
pos	somewhere	between	big	budget	action	films	and	small	budget	morality	tales	exists	judgement	night	,	a	constantly	exciting	,	always	tense	urban	thriller	about	kids	on	the	run	.	and	no	matter	how	you	feel	about	foot	chase	movies	,	or	shoot	out	movies	(	or	even	movies	that	seldom	show	you	the	light	of	day	)	,	this	movie	is	never	less	than	engaging	at	any	time	.	we	first	meet	frank	wyatt	,	a	family	man	whose	wife	thinks	he	should	stop	hanging	out	with	the	guys	who	"	have	the	hormones	of	teenagers	"	and	start	being	around	adults	more	.	but	frank	hasn't	been	out	of	the	house	in	a	long	while	and	he	thinks	he	needs	a	breather	.	so	,	he	tells	his	wife	he	loves	her	,	kisses	his	baby's	head	(	just	like	any	devoted	father	and	husband	should	)	,	and	is	off	with	his	best	friends	for	a	night	out	.	next	,	are	mike	,	ray	,	and	frank's	brother	(	whom	he	never	,	ever	gets	along	with	)	john	.	they	all	congregate	in	a	van	bus	,	and	are	off	to	watch	boxing	in	downtown	chicago	.	wouldn't	you	know	,	traffic's	too	damn	slow	,	and	ray	decides	to	get	off	the	main	highway	for	a	short	detour	.	and	wouldn't	you	know	,	they	find	themselves	in	a	part	of	town	none	of	them	has	ever	seen	before	.	ray	is	determined	to	get	them	to	the	boxing	match	on	time	,	but	then	a	funny	thing	happens	he	hits	some	guy	on	the	run	from	bad	guys	.	the	guys	try	to	help	out	this	stranger	they've	nearly	killed	,	but	before	you	know	it	the	bad	guys	show	up	and	retrieve	the	strange	man	.	enter	fallon	(	played	by	denis	leary	)	,	a	drug	kingpin	mobster	whatever	who	pulls	a	gun	and	murders	the	man	in	cold	blood	.	"	rule	number	one	:	do	not	steal	from	me	,	"	fallon	states	to	his	band	of	henchmen	.	"	rule	number	two	,	no	witnesses	.	"	and	so	it	goes	,	as	this	action	adventure	is	set	into	nonstop	motion	.	given	the	amount	of	time	this	film	in	on	the	screen	,	and	the	number	of	long	encounters	which	take	place	,	not	much	time	is	allowed	for	much	character	development	.	so	,	there	isn't	any	(	except	if	you	count	a	whiner	wimp	who	only	shows	his	true	colors	when	it's	too	late	)	.	then	again	,	developing	characters	who	provide	the	grounds	for	a	story	that	just	about	leaves	you	breathless	,	and	nothing	more	,	would	be	a	waste	of	time	,	especially	when	the	action	is	as	good	as	it	is	here	.	we	get	fights	in	the	sewers	,	on	and	off	trains	,	in	low	rent	apartment	buildings	,	and	even	(	the	finale	)	in	a	small	shopping	mall	downtown	.	and	each	sequence	has	a	distinct	feel	to	it	,	and	each	is	inventive	enough	to	make	you	feel	as	though	you	haven't	seen	any	of	this	before	.	the	script	,	by	lewis	colick	,	is	extremely	derivative	in	its	ways	of	executing	action	and	suspense	,	and	the	score	,	by	alan	silvestri	,	(	when	it	can	be	heard	through	all	the	fantastic	rap	music	)	sets	a	nice	tone	for	what	you	see	.	director	stephen	hopkins	,	of	predator	ii	fame	,	does	what	he	couldn't	do	in	that	film	with	this	one	:	make	it	credible	enough	for	us	to	want	to	continue	watching	.	true	,	this	isn't	a	classical	piece	of	cinema	,	but	it	does	just	what	it	needs	to	:	stay	on	the	screen	as	long	as	it	needs	to	be	there	(	no	longer	,	and	no	less	)	,	and	excite	us	while	we	watch	.
pos	it	must	be	tough	to	be	a	mob	boss	.	just	ask	paul	vitti	(	robert	deniro	)	,	a	man	who	finds	his	job	as	mafia	head	to	be	rather	stress	inducing	.	i	can	believe	it	,	too	one	can't	even	begin	to	fathom	the	turmoil	he	must	go	through	when	he's	forced	to	choose	between	an	ice	pick	,	baseball	bat	or	sledgehammer	to	torture	victims	with	.	suffering	from	reoccurring	panic	attacks	,	paul	decides	he	needs	to	consult	some	professional	help	.	and	who	better	than	billy	crystal	.	after	appearing	in	bottom	of	the	barrel	flops	,	father's	day	and	my	giant	,	crystal	finally	finds	a	reliable	costar	and	some	very	promising	material	here	.	playing	vitti's	private	shrink	,	the	two	very	different	stars	strike	an	unorthodox	,	but	interesting	relationship	that	carries	this	enjoyable	comedy	on	a	steady	wave	of	laughs	from	start	to	finish	.	casting	robert	deniro	as	paul	vitti	is	something	of	an	in	joke	,	i	think	.	placed	in	this	mobster's	shoes	,	deniro	gets	to	spoof	characters	he	himself	played	in	films	like	the	godfather	,	part	ii	and	casino	.	it's	obvious	he's	having	a	lot	of	fun	doing	so	.	the	man	behind	the	camera	is	harold	ramis	,	whose	credits	include	ghostbusters	(	as	writer	and	star	)	,	and	his	best	directing	effort	,	the	bill	murray	vehicle	,	groundhog	day	.	ramis	has	a	knack	for	drawing	laughs	because	he	simply	knows	what's	funny	,	and	here	he	manages	to	accentuate	the	strengths	of	nearly	all	the	actors	.	the	only	character	who	weakens	the	payoff	is	crystal's	bride	to	be	(	lisa	kudrow	)	.	playing	the	same	dumbed	down	role	as	she	does	in	friends	,	kudrow	is	amusing	,	but	doesn't	fit	into	this	comedy	mold	as	well	as	the	director	may	have	hoped	.	the	supporting	cast	sparkles	.	joe	viterelli	is	hilarious	as	jelly	,	vitti's	pea	brained	right	hand	man	,	and	chazz	palminteri	is	a	show	stopper	playing	a	fellow	mobster	who's	in	desperate	need	of	the	definition	of	closure'	.	the	movie	manages	to	maintain	consistent	chuckles	throughout	,	putting	the	emphasis	on	3	or	4	really	big	laughs	that	will	have	audiences	grasping	their	sides	.	the	situation	is	just	too	cute	to	resist	.	it's	unfortunate	that	the	language	gets	somewhat	out	of	hand	.	but	hey	,	if	you're	in	the	mafia	,	using	obscenities	probably	comes	naturally	.	and	near	the	end	,	seeing	billy	crystal	attempt	to	walk	and	talk	like	a	mob	boss	is	truly	a	special	treat	.
pos	"	you'll	go	ape	over	tarzan	because	it's	more	fun	than	a	barrel	of	monkeys	!	"	okay	,	there's	the	quote	in	case	disney	wants	to	put	something	in	their	ads	for	the	movie	.	disney's	latest	animated	feature	throws	us	right	into	the	action	from	the	very	beginning	,	skipping	the	usual	main	title	sequence	and	putting	us	on	pitching	waves	as	a	small	family	attempts	to	escape	from	a	sinking	ship	.	father	,	mother	,	and	infant	somehow	make	it	to	shore	amidst	a	rousing	song	by	phil	collins	,	and	have	soon	built	a	treehouse	which	would	impress	the	swiss	family	robinson	.	it's	amazing	,	the	kinds	of	things	you	can	do	when	you	work	to	a	soundtrack	.	before	you	know	it	,	an	unfortunate	set	of	circumstances	put	the	baby	in	the	hands	of	kala	(	glenn	close	)	,	a	mother	ape	who	recently	lost	her	own	baby	to	a	predatory	leopard	.	against	the	wishes	of	her	mate	and	family	leader	,	kerchak	(	lance	henricksen	)	,	she	takes	on	the	infant	boy	as	her	own	.	tarzan	is	not	so	much	a	story	about	a	human	boy	surviving	in	the	african	jungles	as	it	is	about	one	who	does	not	really	fit	in	either	humanity	or	the	wild	.	much	of	tarzan's	young	life	is	spent	trying	to	become	one	of	the	apes	in	the	eyes	of	his	peers	and	his	"	father	,	"	which	occasionally	gets	him	into	trouble	no	matter	how	well	meant	his	attempts	.	all	he's	looking	for	is	acceptance	,	perhaps	a	goal	easily	identifiable	by	young	viewers	,	but	one	which	will	ring	true	with	a	lot	of	adults	.	when	you	really	think	about	it	,	this	story	fits	right	into	the	disney	formula	of	the	outcast	that	triumphs	in	the	end	.	look	back	on	past	disney	animated	features	and	you'll	see	the	trend	.	growing	up	,	tarzan	(	voiced	by	alex	d	.	linz	as	a	child	,	and	by	tony	goldwyn	as	an	adult	)	has	a	couple	of	friends	.	one	is	an	ape	named	terk	(	rosie	o'donnell	)	,	and	the	other	is	a	paranoid	hypochondriac	of	an	elephant	named	tantor	(	wayne	knight	)	.	both	provide	the	requisite	comic	relief	(	timon	and	poombah	from	the	lion	king	immediately	come	to	mind	)	and	perform	the	usual	hijinks	as	prescribed	by	the	disney	mold	.	i'm	beginning	to	think	anyone	can	write	the	screenplay	for	one	of	these	films	.	just	fill	in	the	blanks	!	can	you	see	it	?	"	now	we	have	to	have	a	couple	of	zany	friends	for	out	hero	who	might	get	him	into	mischief	,	but	cover	for	him	or	come	to	his	rescue	when	he	needs	it	.	we've	already	had	a	fish	and	a	crab	,	and	we've	had	a	candle	and	a	teapot	,	a	genie	and	a	dog	,	a	few	stone	statues	.	.	.	.	have	we	had	an	ape	and	an	elephant	yet	?	well	,	there	we	go	!	"	of	course	,	there's	gotta	be	romance	somewhere	along	the	line	,	so	jane	(	minnie	driver	)	gets	introduced	about	halfway	through	.	together	with	her	father	dr	.	porter	(	nigel	hawthorne	)	and	the	big	game	hunter	clayton	(	brian	blessed	)	,	jane	is	on	an	expedition	to	find	and	study	the	wild	gorillas	of	africa	.	she	discovers	the	man	raised	by	apes	and	is	enchanted	almost	immediately	,	and	soon	shares	an	amusing	version	of	the	compulsory	"	you	tarzan	,	me	jane	"	scene	.	thankfully	,	those	aren't	the	exact	words	.	however	,	i	found	it	distracting	that	tarzan	is	going	"	ohh	ohh	ee	ee	"	one	second	and	then	tells	jane	his	name	in	this	manly	voice	with	perfect	diction	.	how	does	he	tell	his	name	to	another	ape	?	"	ohh	ohh	ee	tarzan	ee	ee	ohh	?	"	well	,	regardless	of	my	picky	nature	,	the	romance	actually	works	as	only	disney	romance	can	:	purely	contrived	,	but	for	some	reason	rather	believable	.	but	hey	,	tarzan's	a	young	adult	.	do	you	think	he	dated	a	few	of	the	female	apes	before	meeting	jane	?	isn't	that	illegal	in	most	countries	?	oh	,	well	.	i	don't	think	disney	will	be	using	my	quote	anymore	.	tarzan	departs	from	the	usual	disney	feature	in	that	this	one	is	not	a	musical	.	there's	lots	of	music	to	be	sure	,	but	not	a	single	character	song	in	the	whole	hour	and	a	half	of	running	time	.	we	instead	get	more	of	a	phil	collins	concert	,	as	no	less	than	five	of	his	original	songs	are	used	as	interlude	material	.	this	isn't	really	a	bad	thing	,	as	the	songs	are	very	high	energy	and	catchy	(	i	found	myself	singing	one	to	myself	for	most	of	the	following	day	)	;	it's	just	different	.	do	yourself	a	favor	and	see	this	film	in	a	theater	with	a	good	sound	system	,	because	the	music	will	come	through	astonishingly	well	and	really	enhance	the	movie	.	with	each	new	feature	,	disney	animation	gets	even	better	.	not	necessarily	by	leaps	and	bounds	,	but	since	they	put	out	a	new	film	each	year	,	a	steady	rate	of	improvement	is	apparent	,	and	this	definitely	shows	in	tarzan	.	there	are	a	couple	of	scenes	where	the	animation	achieves	a	near	3	d	effect	,	and	a	number	of	scenes	which	feature	tarzan	moving	through	the	trees	are	absolutely	dizzying	.	the	way	he	slides	down	tree	limbs	and	trunks	is	very	reminiscent	of	skateboarding	and	rollerblading	maneuvers	,	and	had	me	thinking	this	isn't	just	tarzan	,	it's	"	extreme	tarzan	.	"	however	,	tarzan	does	not	seem	to	have	what	i	call	its	"	chandelier	scene	,	"	which	is	the	one	scene	to	which	the	animators	have	chosen	to	devote	an	inordinate	amount	of	effort	,	utilizing	a	computer	assisted	process	that	makes	the	animation	absolutely	breathtaking	.	lasting	but	a	few	seconds	at	most	,	it's	been	the	signature	of	nearly	every	disney	animated	feature	since	beauty	and	the	beast	,	in	which	the	castle	ballroom	chandelier	was	rendered	in	stunning	detail	.	as	usual	,	the	voice	talent	is	up	to	snuff	,	convincingly	make	you	believe	in	the	convictions	of	animated	characters	.	the	one	poor	choice	in	casting	,	however	,	was	rosie	o'donnell	.	going	into	the	film	,	i	didn't	know	she	was	even	a	part	of	it	,	but	when	terk	started	talking	,	i	recognized	her	voice	immediately	.	her	performance	was	fine	,	but	through	the	rest	of	the	film	i	kept	thinking	,	"	that's	no	boy	ape	,	that	rosie	o'donnell	.	"	distracting	to	say	the	least	.	i'll	admit	i've	never	read	the	edgar	rice	burroughs	story	"	tarzan	of	the	apes	,	"	so	i	couldn't	tell	you	how	true	this	film	stays	to	the	book	.	but	unless	you're	a	purist	,	you	should	have	few	objections	to	this	film	.	with	solid	performances	,	action	,	adventure	,	a	bit	of	romance	,	and	great	music	and	animation	,	tarzan	should	appeal	to	the	kids	and	to	the	kid	in	all	of	us	.	note	:	when	i	wrote	my	review	of	mulan	a	year	ago	,	i	went	off	on	the	promotional	and	merchandising	tie	ins	prevalent	with	the	release	of	a	disney	animated	feature	.	this	time	,	i'll	just	say	that	i	went	to	mcdonald's	yesterday	to	treat	myself	to	a	mcflurry	,	and	tarzan	was	on	the	cup	.	'nuff	said	.
pos	in	1912	,	a	ship	set	sail	on	her	maiden	voyage	across	the	atlantic	for	america	.	this	ship	was	built	to	be	the	largest	ship	in	the	world	,	and	she	was	.	she	was	also	build	to	be	one	of	the	most	luxurious	,	and	that	she	was	.	finally	,	she	was	built	to	be	unsinkable	and	that	unfortunately	she	was	not	.	to	get	a	ticket	for	this	voyage	you	either	:	spent	a	life's	savings	to	get	to	america	to	start	life	anew	,	were	part	of	the	upper	class	and	had	the	money	to	spare	,	or	finally	were	lucky	enough	to	have	a	full	house	in	a	poker	match	by	the	docks	like	jack	dawson	.	jack	dawson	makes	the	trip	,	and	happens	to	be	at	the	right	place	at	the	right	time	.	rose	dewitt	bukater	,	a	first	class	passenger	,	climbs	the	railings	at	the	aft	of	the	ship	with	thoughts	of	jumping	.	thus	is	started	a	tale	of	romance	and	intrigue	,	and	a	tale	of	death	and	tragedy	.	.	.	this	movie	is	about	a	tragic	event	that	took	place	a	great	many	years	ago	,	an	even	that	should	not	be	taken	lightly	as	any	other	bit	of	historical	trivia	.	the	movie	titanic	shows	what	happened	,	maybe	not	with	a	100	degree	of	accuracy	,	but	it	still	shows	it	very	realisticaly	.	now	the	titanic	is	both	a	story	on	its	own	and	a	backdrop	for	a	story	.	it	serves	as	both	admirably	,	brining	forth	an	interesting	story	that	although	simple	in	its	most	simple	premise	is	very	captivating	.	this	movie	is	very	emotional	simply	because	of	what	it	is	,	but	that	alone	is	not	enough	.	the	story	is	brought	out	with	a	certain	style	that	makes	is	so	much	more	emotional	and	so	much	more	effective	.	movies	such	as	this	will	not	be	forgotten	all	too	quickly	and	unfortunately	then	are	not	something	that	is	produced	by	hollywood	with	any	great	frequency	.	the	attention	to	detail	that	was	paid	is	remarkable	.	the	whole	premise	for	the	telling	of	the	story	is	interesting	,	with	the	showing	of	brand	new	footage	from	the	wreck	of	the	titanic	adding	much	flavor	to	an	already	good	movie	.	part	of	the	magical	chemistry	behind	this	story	is	the	acting	,	and	for	this	movie	its	extremely	good	acting	from	the	whole	cast	.	the	performances	put	in	by	the	main	stars	is	something	to	be	admired	.	the	characters	were	played	out	so	memorably	that	both	leonardo	dicaprip	and	kate	winslet	should	receive	at	the	least	nominations	for	their	roles	.	looking	at	the	acting	done	in	the	movie	it	seems	as	if	they	aren't	acting	but	are	actually	the	characters	in	the	movie	.	the	casting	for	the	movie	could	really	have	been	better	,	in	my	humble	opinion	that	is	.	one	character	that	will	most	likely	not	be	mentioned	by	any	other	review	or	commentary	about	this	film	is	that	of	the	ship	itself	.	yes	,	you	read	correctly	,	the	ship	is	a	character	.	how	is	the	titanic	a	character	?	you	ask	well	simple	,	a	ship	had	a	certain	character	about	it	and	as	most	sailors	and	boats	men	will	tell	you	.	this	character	is	everything	about	the	ship	from	its	specifications	to	its	luxuries	and	the	titanic	was	no	stranger	to	this	.	mr	.	cameron	brings	the	ship	to	life	in	an	almost	literal	sense	.	all	this	adds	to	the	movie	in	a	certain	way	that	most	hollywood	productions	cant	seem	to	grasp	.	now	,	to	produce	the	effect	that	i	mentioned	above	and	to	sink	the	ship	itself	are	feats	that	are	accomplished	by	special	effects	wizards	.	the	effects	in	this	movie	range	from	marvelous	costumes	to	beautifully	rendered	scenes	of	the	ships	sinking	.	in	some	respects	you	cannot	tell	that	the	effects	are	there	,	you	simply	think	that	what	you	see	is	what	happened	or	what	is	happening	(	if	your	imagination	is	good	)	.	the	technical	wizardry	done	in	this	movie	is	just	spectacular	and	actually	getting	new	footage	from	the	wreck	of	the	titanic	is	unique	.	the	movie	will	leave	you	amazed	at	the	effects	,	and	that	is	a	feat	since	there	is	no	monsters	or	aliens	in	this	movie	,	just	humans	and	an	oversized	ship	.	the	movie	will	amaze	you	and	it	will	pull	on	your	emotions	,	the	theater	that	i	went	to	had	a	few	people	leaving	with	tears	in	their	eyes	.	now	that	is	not	a	feat	accomplished	by	most	movies	,	now	the	fact	that	the	tragedy	actually	occurred	is	brought	home	with	something	of	a	punch	,	i	wont	spoil	the	ending	and	say	what	happens	regardless	it	is	an	interesting	movie	from	beginning	to	the	very	end	.	the	historical	value	of	this	movie	is	quite	high	,	and	honestly	is	something	that	should	be	watched	for	the	sake	of	seeing	it	and	seeing	the	tragedy	,	for	it	is	extremely	well	done	.	the	method	of	telling	the	story	is	also	good	,	maybe	not	totally	unique	but	effective	none	the	less	.	regardless	of	anything	mentioned	above	this	movie	is	a	grandiose	production	and	the	sheer	size	of	the	project	undertaken	is	something	to	be	marveled	at	.	the	simple	fact	that	the	movie	is	smashingly	successful	at	what	it	aims	to	achieve	is	just	astonishing	.	if	you	get	the	chance	to	see	this	movie	go	!	!	!	it	might	not	be	the	best	movie	in	the	world	.	.	but	it	ranks	fairly	highly	and	is	well	worth	the	time	spent	watching	it	.	during	none	of	the	3	hours	and	13	minutes	of	the	movie	are	you	bored	nor	does	your	attention	wane	from	the	movie	.
pos	getting	it	right	is	a	far	far	cry	from	the	teenage	sex	comedy	you	might	expect	from	a	summer	movie	about	male	virginity	.	the	film	was	directed	by	randal	kleiser	,	who	brought	us	such	bubble	gum	classics	as	grease	and	the	blue	lagoon	.	but	thanks	to	kleiser's	surprisingly	good	direction	and	an	intelligent	script	,	getting	it	right	is	a	pleasantly	quiet	,	moving	,	and	memorable	film	one	geared	strictly	toward	a	sophisticated	,	adult	audience	.	getting	it	right	stars	jesse	birdsall	(	emily	lloyd's	boyfriend	in	wish	you	were	here	)	as	gavin	,	a	painfully	shy	31	year	old	hairdresser	who	lives	at	home	with	his	parents	and	who	gasp	is	still	a	virgin	.	gavin	has	no	problem	whatsoever	making	small	talk	with	the	elderly	women	who	clamor	for	his	services	at	the	hair	salon	,	but	expose	him	to	a	single	30	year	old	beauty	and	he's	a	mess	.	much	to	gavin's	surprise	,	the	woman	who	finally	brings	him	out	of	his	shell	and	robs	him	of	his	virginity	is	joan	(	lynn	redgrave	)	,	a	rich	,	married	,	and	lonely	45	year	old	.	getting	it	right	is	the	simple	story	of	gavin's	awkward	and	haphazard	efforts	to	get	it	right	;	that	is	,	to	find	the	right	woman	to	fulfill	his	life	.	getting	it	right	is	one	of	those	rare	movies	that	devotes	itself	entirely	to	in	depth	character	development	.	gavin's	self	conscious	voice	over	narration	of	his	experiences	firmly	thrusts	us	into	his	psyche	.	we	observe	his	fascinating	metamorphosis	from	shy	and	passive	introversion	to	assertive	and	self	confident	maturity	.	birdsall's	superb	,	understated	performance	as	gavin	is	the	real	backbone	of	the	film	;	he	seems	convincing	and	authentic	throughout	.	the	charm	of	getting	it	right	also	lies	in	the	wide	array	of	people	who	inhabit	or	invade	gavin's	life	.	despite	her	limited	screen	time	,	redgrave	makes	quite	a	splash	in	the	movie	as	gavin's	middle	aged	seducer	.	for	a	supporting	character	,	joan	is	unusually	and	impressively	complex	,	thanks	in	large	part	to	redgrave's	magnificent	performance	.	gavin	is	also	pursued	,	or	perhaps	plagued	,	by	minnie	,	the	totally	neurotic	daughter	of	a	rich	aristocrat	.	after	minnie	and	gavin	meet	at	a	party	,	she	takes	great	pleasure	in	disrupting	his	safe	and	simple	life	.	helena	bonham	carter	is	delightfully	pathetic	and	kooky	in	the	role	,	and	sir	john	gielgud	,	with	his	tongue	in	his	cheek	,	embodies	the	height	of	arrogance	as	her	father	.	gavin's	eventual	love	interest	is	jenny	,	the	adorable	twenty	year	old	single	mother	who	assists	him	at	the	beauty	salon	;	london	stage	actress	jane	horrocks'	fine	performance	yields	a	touchingly	sweet	character	.	peter	cook	,	the	great	british	satirist	,	appears	briefly	in	the	film	as	gavin's	uptight	employer	.	the	scenes	of	gavin's	home	life	with	his	parents	are	also	a	treat	.	gavin's	over	protective	mother	(	pat	heywood	)	,	whom	even	woody	allen	would	find	overbearing	,	almost	steals	the	movie	.	her	life	seems	limited	to	just	two	activities	:	treating	gavin	like	a	10	year	old	and	preparing	exotic	but	inedible	meals	,	such	as	scalding	hot	curry	and	baked	chicken	with	chocolate	sauce	.	gavin	and	his	father's	attempts	to	avoid	eating	her	meals	are	extremely	amusing	.	getting	it	right	,	for	the	most	part	,	is	very	well	crafted	,	except	for	two	minor	shortcomings	.	first	,	the	movie	is	about	15	minutes	too	long	,	and	consequently	it	loses	momentum	at	times	.	second	,	the	film	includes	an	altogether	extraneous	subplot	about	the	domestic	problems	between	gavin's	best	friend	,	harry	,	and	his	unfaithful	lover	,	winthrop	.	overall	,	however	,	getting	it	right	is	quite	memorable	for	its	humor	,	depth	,	sophistication	,	and	outstanding	acting	.	director	kleiser	and	screenwriter	elizabeth	jane	howard	(	adapting	her	own	highly	acclaimed	novel	)	deserve	praise	for	finding	just	the	right	tone	for	this	tale	of	growth	,	maturation	,	and	self	discovery	.
pos	written	by	stephen	peters	.	directed	by	john	mcnaughton	.	starring	kevin	bacon	,	matt	dillon	,	neve	campbell	,	denise	richards	,	bill	murray	,	robert	wagner	.	rated	r	(	contains	nudity	,	profanity	,	and	violence	)	116	mins	.	synopsis	:	a	wild	teen	aged	girl	with	an	iq	around	200	manipulates	a	beefy	guidance	counselor	,	a	determined	police	detective	,	two	trial	lawyers	,	the	u	.	s	.	judicial	system	,	the	news	media	,	a	millionaire	playgirl	,	and	her	supersexy	teen	aged	daughter	in	an	elaborate	scheme	to	swindle	millions	of	dollars	.	comments	:	for	this	week	,	i	have	decided	to	review	a	movie	currently	playing	in	theaters	rather	than	an	almost	forgotten	video	collecting	dust	in	the	far	corner	of	a	rental	outlet	.	this	may	become	a	trend	as	species	2	,	a	sequel	to	one	of	the	best	bad	sci	fi	films	of	the	decade	,	is	set	to	be	released	this	friday	(	april	10	,	1998	)	.	anyway	,	this	week's	turkey	is	the	sleazy	,	exploitative	wild	things	,	a	film	which	shares	quite	a	number	of	conventions	with	many	of	the	b	level	,	direct	to	video	or	cable	thrillers	i	have	reviewed	in	the	past	.	the	movie	,	in	fact	,	only	possesses	one	noticeable	difference	:	it	has	an	all	star	cast	.	let's	be	blunt	for	a	moment	.	veteran	film	actors	kevin	bacon	and	matt	dillon	are	technically	the	main	stars	here	;	they	are	listed	first	in	the	credits	and	the	majority	of	the	film's	running	time	favors	them	.	wild	things'	producers	,	however	,	heavily	advertised	this	movie	as	an	erotic	exercise	between	rising	stars	neve	campbell	and	denise	richards	.	the	movie	posters	prominently	feature	the	two	rising	out	of	a	pool	of	water	and	staring	at	the	viewer	with	sultry	gazes	.	i	suspect	the	target	audience	for	this	film	was	predominantly	younger	males	;	though	,	surprisingly	,	the	matinee	showing	i	attended	with	my	friend	had	an	audience	with	far	more	women	than	men	.	if	one's	only	reason	to	see	wild	things	is	to	see	ms	.	campbell	and	ms	.	richards	get	it	on	,	then	one	will	be	remarkedly	disappointed	.	a	menage	a	trois	does	occur	between	the	two	ladies	and	matt	dillon	,	but	it	is	a	poorly	lit	,	seemingly	superfluous	scene	.	the	two	also	kiss	a	couple	of	times	,	but	it	feels	mechanic	and	obligatory	rather	than	racy	as	it	was	intended	.	neve	campbell	,	by	the	way	,	does	not	strip	naked	at	all	.	sorry	,	guys	.	wild	things'	advertised	sexual	fireworks	fizzle	here	,	but	the	movie	itself	,	as	bad	movies	go	,	is	quite	entertaining	.	the	actors	turn	in	hammy	performances	(	more	on	this	in	a	bit	)	,	and	the	surprisingly	complex	script	keeps	the	viewer	guessing	while	the	laughable	dialogue	is	full	of	cheesy	lines	undercutting	the	seriousness	of	the	subject	matter	.	my	friend	and	i	chuckled	throughout	the	movie	,	but	the	rest	of	the	audience	didn't	seem	to	be	in	on	it	.	don't	go	see	wild	things	expecting	a	run	of	the	mill	suspense	film	.	(	it's	an	amusing	exercise	in	sleaze	populated	with	comically	self	absorbed	,	greedy	characters	who	all	get	what	they	deserve	in	the	end	.	)	part	of	the	film's	qualified	success	comes	from	its	cast	.	a	number	of	fine	,	first	rate	actors	have	fun	with	their	characters	.	the	attractive	,	young	actress	denise	richards	,	of	last	year's	megabudget	starship	troopers	,	nearly	steals	the	show	here	as	the	pouty	high	school	student	with	a	supermodel	body	who	catches	everyone's	eyes	.	neve	campbell	,	the	scream	queen	of	scream	and	scream	2	,	drops	her	innocent	,	damsel	in	distress	routine	and	turns	180	degrees	in	her	role	as	the	trailer	trash	girl	who	secretly	instigates	everything	.	the	best	supporting	nods	go	to	bill	murray	and	robert	wagner	,	both	making	surprise	appearances	in	this	,	an	atypical	film	for	either	of	them	.	bill	murray	,	in	particular	,	is	great	as	the	fraud	obsessed	lawyer	who	can	sniff	a	lawsuit	from	a	mile	away	.	robert	wagner	is	hilarious	in	his	wooden	portrayal	of	another	lawyer	.	he	seems	to	be	doing	a	self	parody	of	himself	which	reminds	me	of	his	brief	role	in	the	john	candy	vehicle	delirious	.	despite	its	humorous	dialogue	and	delightfully	smarmy	actors	,	wild	things	cannot	be	excused	for	some	of	its	shortcomings	.	while	the	first	two	thirds	of	the	movie	moves	at	a	breakneck	pace	,	the	last	third	becomes	tired	.	without	revealing	too	much	,	one	character	will	kill	another	only	to	be	killed	by	someone	else	.	it	becomes	a	cycle	which	tries	the	audience's	patience	.	also	,	though	this	film	is	designed	to	be	unexpectedly	funny	,	a	subplot	deals	with	an	affair	that	a	guidance	counselor	has	with	two	of	his	students	.	this	seems	inexcusably	unethical	and	borders	on	pedophilia	(	the	students	,	to	give	wild	things	the	benefit	of	the	doubt	,	may	be	18	)	.	the	audience	should	feel	uneasy	when	they	realize	they	are	viewing	what	is	supposed	to	be	a	sexual	affair	between	a	high	school	teacher	and	his	students	.	wild	things	ends	on	a	somewhat	unique	note	.	important	background	flashbacks	are	interspersed	throughout	the	closing	credits	,	and	they	are	rather	fun	to	watch	.	so	,	don't	get	up	and	walk	out	the	theater	as	soon	as	you	see	the	closing	credits	start	to	roll	at	the	end	.	all	in	all	,	wild	things	is	a	pretty	good	and	humorous	turkey	.	it's	certainly	not	for	everyone	,	but	for	those	who	are	into	exploitative	thrillers	like	basic	instinct	or	sliver	,	you	could	find	a	lot	worse	than	this	.
pos	directed	by	milos	forman	.	written	by	peter	shaffer	(	based	on	his	play	)	.	running	time	:	158	minutes	.	rated	pg	(	for	language	and	sexual	references	)	.	amadeus	is	considered	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	1980s	.	that	decade	mostly	developed	brat	pack	films	so	there's	no	doubt	that	the	epic	film	would	be	one	of	the	best	.	it	made	the	american	film	institute's	top	100	list	in	the	summer	of	1998	.	although	it	is	not	as	good	as	some	of	the	films	near	the	bottom	or	off	the	list	it	still	deserves	it's	place	in	cinema	.	antonio	salieri	(	f	.	murray	abraham	)	is	a	struggling	composer	who	has	worked	hard	to	become	great	.	throughout	his	childhood	he	has	seen	a	little	boy	named	wolfgang	amadeus	mozart	.	the	young	boy	performed	for	royalty	.	when	mozart	grows	up	he	is	a	giddy	,	over	excited	brat	(	played	now	by	tom	hulce	)	who	makes	obscene	comments	to	women	and	curses	.	salieri	can't	understand	why	god	has	chosen	such	a	delinquent	to	pass	his	music	through	.	salieri	swears	hatred	on	mozart	and	the	god	who	raised	him	to	his	status	.	the	highlight	of	this	movie	is	,	of	course	,	the	music	.	john	strauss	did	much	of	it	but	also	included	music	by	mozart	,	salieri	,	and	giovanni	battista	pergolesi	.	the	music	is	used	beautifully	in	the	many	operas	that	take	place	during	the	movie	.	hulce	and	abraham	do	a	great	job	acting	during	their	many	scenes	of	conducting	and	piano	playing	.	abraham	and	hulce	each	were	awarded	academy	award	recognition	which	they	deserve	.	abraham	won	best	actor	over	hulce	,	which	isn't	wrong	because	two	people	can't	win	.	abraham	plays	salieri	with	all	the	hatred	he	can	without	becoming	an	evil	character	.	he	has	no	heart	and	just	wants	the	life	that	he	thinks	was	taken	from	him	as	a	brilliant	composer	.	hulce	does	an	excellent	job	as	well	as	the	eccentric	mozart	.	he	is	able	to	act	extremely	serious	during	his	compositions	but	then	chase	a	woman	around	a	house	.	this	was	easily	his	best	role	to	date	.	he	is	very	well	cast	with	his	young	looking	face	and	acting	talent	.	director	milos	forman	along	with	cinematographer	miroslav	ondrcek	and	the	art	and	production	designers	have	created	one	beautiful	movie	.	the	opera	theater	scenes	,	along	with	wonderful	wigs	,	costumes	,	and	makeup	,	are	a	delight	to	watch	.	the	use	of	scope	is	also	very	good	.	now	to	why	i	believe	amadeus	to	be	less	a	film	then	the	afi	makes	it	to	be	.	while	i	do	really	like	many	things	about	this	movie	i	still	have	some	complaints	.	the	movie	is	quite	long	at	158	minutes	.	the	movie	isn't	boring	and	is	much	shorter	than	other	epics	but	it	is	still	quite	a	long	time	.	a	couple	of	scenes	could	have	been	shortened	and	not	have	hurt	the	movie	much	.	with	my	complaint	aside	,	i	can	still	say	that	amadeus	was	definitely	one	of	the	better	movies	to	come	out	in	the	80s	.	i	don't	know	if	it's	one	of	100	best	of	all	time	but	it	is	a	very	good	movie	.
pos	"	everybody	has	a	story	about	chet	baker	.	he	was	bad	,	trouble	,	and	beautiful	.	"	let's	get	lost	,	bruce	weber's	visually	thematic	biography	of	'50s	jazz	musician	chet	baker	,	might	well	be	the	ultimate	story	,	an	evocatively	photographed	,	seamlessly	edited	collage	of	sights	and	sounds	.	unfortunately	,	many	people	are	going	to	pass	up	the	film	for	two	reasons	:	one	,	it's	a	documentary	and	two	,	it's	in	black	and	white	.	but	those	two	elements	alone	combine	to	make	let's	get	lost	more	compelling	than	most	of	this	summer's	run	of	the	mill	movie	fodder	.	the	life	and	times	of	this	jazz	trumpeter	and	vocalist	,	whose	troubled	career	culminated	in	a	fall	to	his	death	from	an	amsterdam	hotel	window	in	may	of	1988	,	is	chronicled	through	a	variety	of	cinematic	techniques	.	candid	interviews	with	an	ensemble	of	friends	,	relatives	,	and	fellow	musicians	,	stills	,	archive	footage	of	baker	himself	,	in	concert	and	out	,	moody	,	mesmerizing	,	iconoclastic	.	baker's	whisper	like	vocals	permeate	the	background	like	cigarette	smoke	,	ever	present	,	softly	punctuating	the	blank	spaces	.	it's	a	near	perfect	blend	of	styles	,	yet	it	is	never	showy	or	pushy	.	in	his	20s	,	baker	was	the	james	dean	of	the	jazz	world	,	his	boyish	good	looks	as	much	a	part	of	his	image	as	his	hypnotic	trumpet	playing	and	soulful	,	lyrical	style	.	working	initially	with	the	likes	of	charlie	parker	and	gerry	mulligan	,	baker	quickly	branched	out	on	his	own	.	soon	his	angular	face	was	gracing	record	jackets	everywhere	.	he	even	appeared	in	a	number	of	movie	bit	parts	,	such	as	1955's	hell's	horizon	(	billed	as	"	chet	baker	and	his	trumpet	"	)	,	as	well	as	a	number	of	disposable	,	italian	teen	flicks	.	almost	forty	years	later	,	the	change	is	dramatic	.	baker's	once	adonis	like	looks	are	wizened	wrinkled	creases	of	skin	abound	;	aged	,	hollowed	out	eyes	;	bloodless	cheeks	;	a	leather	faced	,	lipless	junkie	.	baker	knew	more	than	anyone	that	you	gotta	pay	the	price	if	you	wanna	play	the	blues	.	baker's	midas	touch	on	stage	became	leprous	in	his	private	life	.	a	compulsive	womanizer	,	he	left	a	legacy	of	cast	off	wives	and	embittered	offspring	in	his	wake	.	there	is	a	lot	of	hate	in	this	movie	;	few	people	have	much	respect	for	this	burned	out	,	unlikable	shell	of	a	man	.	even	his	mother	,	when	asked	if	chet	was	a	good	son	,	cannot	answer	in	the	affirmative	.	what's	so	compelling	about	the	film	is	that	,	as	unappealing	as	baker	is	,	his	music	is	anything	but	.	the	only	time	that	we	feel	he's	being	totally	honest	with	us	is	when	he's	performing	.	then	,	and	only	then	,	do	we	feel	the	man's	sincerity	,	his	quietly	hushed	and	sexy	vocal	style	totally	absorbing	the	viewer	.	the	allure	of	his	stage	persona	compared	to	the	shambles	of	his	personal	life	is	staggering	.	in	one	scene	,	baker	recalls	the	names	of	other	jazz	greats	who	have	succumbed	to	the	lure	of	drugs	.	the	list	seems	endless	.	but	this	is	not	an	anti	drug	movie	.	it's	a	film	about	contrasts	,	about	the	profound	affect	one	man	had	on	the	lives	of	others	.	director	weber	has	gotten	to	the	crux	of	the	issue	so	adeptly	that	at	times	it's	hard	to	believe	that	a	lot	of	this	film	was	shot	before	baker's	death	.	at	cannes	,	nearing	the	film's	end	,	baker	comments	to	weber	that	this	is	the	first	time	he	has	ever	faced	such	a	rowdy	audience	.	"	at	those	other	places	you	could	hear	a	pin	drop	,	"	he	observes	.	so	when	he	calls	for	silence	before	performing	his	final	,	haunting	number	,	"	almost	blue	,	"	you	probably	could	hear	a	pin	drop	.	that	silence	,	and	the	performance	which	follows	,	is	a	fitting	elegy	to	a	genius	who	lived	hard	yet	made	it	all	look	so	easy	.	hr	directed	by	:	bruce	weber	david	n	.	butterworth	university	of	pa	rating	(	l	.	maltin	)	:	1	2	internet	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	"	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	a	hr
pos	starring	:	pierce	brosnan	,	michelle	yeoh	,	jonathan	pryce	,	teri	hatcher	ingredients	:	james	bond	,	scuba	scene	,	car	controlled	by	cellular	telephone	synopsis	:	warped	media	tycoon	elliot	carver	(	jonathan	pryce	)	plots	to	start	a	war	between	britain	and	china	in	order	to	boost	ratings	by	using	a	'stealth	ship'	to	fire	a	captured	british	missile	at	the	city	of	beijing	.	super	agent	james	bond	(	pierce	brosnan	)	uses	trick	gadgets	,	pluck	,	and	charm	in	order	to	foil	carver's	scheme	.	this	time	bond	teams	up	with	top	female	agent	wai	lin	from	china	(	michelle	yeoh	)	.	the	film	contains	fights	,	chases	,	gadgets	,	and	comedic	moments	.	opinion	:	it	does	not	have	a	casino	scene	or	a	ski	scene	,	but	tomorrow	never	dies	is	nevertheless	a	solid	,	enjoyable	bond	movie	.	it	neither	stands	out	nor	disappoints	.	in	old	bond	movies	bond	sometimes	teamed	up	with	american	cia	agent	felix	leiter	.	tomorrow	never	dies	introduces	a	new	character	in	the	form	of	chinese	agent	wai	lin	.	like	leiter's	character	,	wai	lin	would	be	a	sure	bet	for	a	cameo	in	a	later	bond	movie	.	stars	:	michelle	yeoh	was	born	a	leo	in	the	western	zodiac	in	the	year	of	the	tiger	on	the	asian	astrology	calendar	.	i	don	t	believe	in	horoscopes	.	but	at	an	airport	i	once	browsed	an	astrology	book	with	a	section	on	leo	tigers	(	lts	)	.	"	leo	tigers	prefer	enough	solitude	to	grow	at	their	own	pace	.	lts	are	unbelievably	courageous	when	facing	adversity	.	the	lt	is	also	classy	,	and	has	an	excellent	sense	of	refinement	,	but	she	sees	herself	as	an	adventurer	,	and	prefers	freedom	of	movement	rather	than	flashy	status	symbols	.	this	person	loves	family	and	friends	with	a	fierce	loyalty	.	she	delights	in	siblings	,	nephews	,	nieces	and	extended	family	but	she	must	have	her	personal	freedom	to	come	and	go	as	she	pleases	.	sometimes	annoyance	at	injustice	drives	her	to	take	up	one	or	two	causes	.	in	love	life	,	the	lt	has	an	unfortunate	mental	block	against	committing	to	any	partner	who	is	less	powerful	than	she	.	"	in	real	life	,	michelle	yeoh	is	asia's	top	female	star	.	like	jackie	chan	,	she	does	her	own	stunts	.	she	was	born	in	malaysia	a	country	of	many	languages	and	her	primary	language	(	the	language	she	speaks	in	her	sleep	)	is	english	.	she	was	taught	malay	in	school	,	and	learned	cantonese	from	bilingual	parents	.	as	an	athlete	michelle	represented	malaysia	internationally	.	she	enjoyed	squash	,	diving	,	swimming	,	and	rugby	.	she	studied	ballet	at	the	royal	academy	of	dance	in	london	,	but	switched	to	drama	after	a	spinal	injury	.	in	1983	she	won	the	miss	malaysia	pageant	without	really	intending	to	,	since	a	family	member	had	entered	her	in	the	contest	without	her	knowledge	.	notoriety	from	the	contest	led	eventually	to	a	movie	career	as	an	action	heroine	.	michelle	has	survived	a	divorce	with	asian	retail	tycoon	dickson	poon	;	a	nearly	fatal	stunt	accident	falling	from	a	freeway	overpass	which	put	her	in	the	hospital	for	three	months	,	and	;	a	retirement	from	the	movies	.	her	comeback	from	retirement	,	supercop	(	1992	)	became	the	top	grossing	film	in	asia	that	year	.	it	is	not	clear	what	michelle	s	martial	arts	style	is	,	but	it	may	be	a	theatrical	version	of	wing	chun	.	of	her	character	wai	lin	in	tomorrow	never	dies	,	michelle	says	,	"	wai	lin	is	the	first	bond	girl	who	is	on	a	par	with	bond	,	someone	who	can	match	up	with	him	mentally	and	physically	.	"	my	own	opinion	is	that	casting	michelle	yeoh	as	agent	wai	lin	was	an	excellent	choice	.
pos	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	city	of	angels	is	the	kind	of	love	story	that	i	enjoy	the	most	:	thought	provoking	,	moving	,	and	completely	unsentimental	.	i	find	it	interesting	that	this	film	has	been	released	the	same	day	as	my	giant	,	which	is	a	film	that	is	undone	completely	by	its	wretched	sentimentality	.	city	of	angels	is	a	wonderful	film	,	enhanced	by	interesting	and	well	rounded	characters	and	some	of	the	most	immersive	imagery	of	the	last	couple	of	years	.	it's	a	love	story	that	takes	the	familiar	angel	themes	and	makes	them	new	and	necessary	to	the	story	,	and	avoids	most	of	the	cliches	we're	so	used	to	seeing	in	films	like	this	.	city	of	angels	is	an	apparently	loose	remake	of	wim	wenders'	1988	film	wings	of	desire	.	i	have	yet	to	see	wings	of	desire	,	so	i	am	,	unfortunately	,	unable	to	make	a	comparison	of	the	two	.	i	have	heard	,	however	,	that	city	of	angels	is	dissimilar	from	the	original	in	numerous	ways	,	which	makes	me	glad	that	this	film	isn't	a	rip	off	of	its	source	material	.	nicolas	cage	stars	as	seth	,	an	angel	who	,	like	all	of	his	angel	counterparts	,	is	present	to	lead	the	dying	to	heaven	(	or	somewhere	just	like	it	)	.	one	day	,	he	is	forced	to	take	the	life	of	a	patient	of	dr	.	maggie	rice	(	meg	ryan	)	,	and	his	attention	is	called	to	her	.	the	angels	can	make	themselves	seen	to	humans	,	but	they	can't	experience	any	of	the	senses	(	most	importantly	,	touch	)	.	he	shows	himself	to	maggie	,	and	she	falls	for	him	,	unaware	that	he	is	slightly	unavailable	because	of	his	apparition	status	.	seth	wants	to	become	human	so	he	can	feel	her	.	that's	when	he	meets	nathaniel	messinger	(	dennis	franz	)	,	"	former	celestial	messenger	and	recent	addition	to	the	human	race	.	"	(	as	a	side	note	,	i	found	messinger	to	be	the	most	fascinating	character	,	for	i	can	only	imagine	how	incredibly	liberating	it	must	be	to	live	knowing	what	lies	beyond	death	.	)	messinger	explains	to	seth	that	it	is	possible	for	angels	to	become	human	.	seth	manages	to	convince	maggie	that	he	is	an	angel	(	i	know	,	it	sounds	ridiculous	,	but	the	scene	in	which	she	finds	out	is	exceptionally	well	done	)	;	after	much	deliberation	,	she	tells	him	that	she	could	only	be	with	a	man	who	can	feel	.	this	,	of	course	,	is	when	seth	decides	to	take	the	plunge	(	literally	)	from	a	building	;	when	he	wakes	up	from	the	fall	,	he	is	human	,	and	happy	to	feel	what	it's	like	to	have	a	split	lip	and	blood	oozing	from	his	forehead	.	since	i	love	this	film	so	much	,	i'll	make	a	minor	note	that	it	certainly	isn't	perfect	.	although	it	is	original	and	mesmerizing	,	it	does	fall	prey	to	a	few	of	the	cliches	of	the	genre	.	the	plotting	of	the	story	by	writer	dawn	steel	is	rather	formulaic	(	though	the	details	are	what	make	the	story	excellent	,	and	steel	has	done	a	great	job	with	them	)	.	the	ending	,	too	,	could	have	been	more	powerful	and	less	predictable	.	these	elements	are	minor	,	though	,	and	barely	detracted	from	my	overall	enjoyment	of	city	of	angels	.	the	acting	is	superb	from	everyone	involved	.	this	is	perhaps	my	second	favorite	performance	from	cage	(	my	favorite	being	the	rock	)	.	he's	quiet	and	pensive	,	and	his	eyes	are	engaging	when	he	speaks	his	softly	toned	words	.	he's	perfect	for	a	role	like	this	,	and	at	the	same	time	he	reassures	us	he's	not	bound	by	playing	the	psycho	(	though	he	is	good	at	it	,	as	he	shows	in	face	off	)	.	meg	ryan	is	a	powerful	,	enticing	,	and	appealingly	chirpy	actress	,	and	her	work	here	is	some	of	her	best	.	dennis	franz	,	however	,	steals	all	of	his	scenes	as	the	energetic	former	angel	.	what	i	admire	most	about	city	of	angels	is	its	overall	presentation	.	director	brad	silberling	is	a	talented	man	,	and	he	knows	that	a	story	like	this	is	driven	by	the	characters	,	rather	than	forced	sentimentality	.	his	direction	is	steady	,	and	he	shows	this	in	just	about	every	scene	:	near	the	beginning	,	maggie	has	to	tell	a	mother	and	her	two	children	that	their	father	is	dead	.	there	is	no	music	or	elaborate	camera	work	;	we	simply	see	the	reactions	of	the	characters	to	the	information	.	this	is	the	way	stories	should	be	told	,	and	the	strength	of	scenes	resonates	more	completely	when	the	emotions	are	real	.	the	film	also	appeals	to	the	senses	in	a	way	that	few	love	stories	do	.	cinematographer	john	seale	(	the	english	patient	)	provides	some	of	the	most	stunning	images	i've	seen	on	the	big	screen	:	hundreds	of	black	clad	angels	stand	on	a	dim	beach	in	the	early	morning	hours	(	just	as	an	example	)	.	the	music	,	by	gabriel	yared	(	also	of	the	english	patient	)	,	is	perfect	for	this	film	:	it's	quiet	and	moody	music	(	but	not	sentimental	!	)	,	and	adds	to	the	atmosphere	and	tone	nicely	.	the	visual	presentation	of	city	of	angels	is	easily	the	best	of	1998	so	far	.	all	of	this	adds	up	to	a	film	that	is	instantly	set	apart	from	other	members	of	this	genre	.	it's	a	film	that	relies	on	character	development	and	imagery	to	get	the	story	across	the	excellent	actors	and	the	professional	production	values	make	city	of	angels	one	of	those	rare	films	that	both	entertains	and	instigates	thought	simultaneously	.
pos	1997	,	r	,	95	minutes	1	hour	,	35	minutes	starring	:	dustin	hoffman	(	stanley	motss	)	,	robert	de	niro	(	conrad	brean	)	,	anne	heche	(	winifred	ames	)	,	denis	leary	(	fad	king	)	,	written	by	hilary	henkin	,	david	mamet	;	produced	by	robert	de	niro	,	barry	levinson	,	jane	rosenthal	;	directed	by	barry	levinson	;	based	on	the	novel	"	american	hero	"	by	larry	beinhart	.	satirical	films	usually	fall	into	one	of	two	categories	:	1	)	long	term	satire	where	everything	,	including	the	jokes	,	is	somehow	related	on	a	large	scale	(	i	.	e	.	"	dr	.	strangelove	"	;	2	)	situation	satire	in	which	the	comedy	and	themes	are	derived	moment	by	moment	and	scene	by	scene	(	i	.	e	.	"	men	in	black	"	)	.	what's	unique	about	"	wag	the	dog	"	is	that	it	doesn't	necessarily	fit	either	of	these	descriptions	,	and	yet	is	both	at	the	same	time	.	the	result	is	a	clever	comedy	based	on	an	original	,	smart	premise	,	even	if	the	focus	does	tend	to	wander	a	bit	.	if	there's	anything	that	affects	americans	the	most	it's	politics	and	showbusiness	.	in	this	age	of	information	and	technology	,	we've	been	so	conditioned	by	the	media	and	the	entertainment	industry	in	our	ways	of	perceiving	things	,	it's	gotten	to	the	point	that	we	are	practically	controlled	by	it	.	we	need	the	media	to	bring	us	the	most	up	to	date	news	,	but	we	also	need	the	escapism	of	hollywood	to	counter	all	that	thinking	.	this	film	starts	off	well	by	quickly	establishing	these	ideas	,	and	then	presents	an	interesting	scenario	:	if	politics	,	the	media	coverage	of	politics	,	and	the	entertainment	industry	are	so	closely	related	,	couldn't	someone	with	the	power	and	authority	to	manipulate	one	of	the	aspects	manipulate	them	all	?	that's	the	idea	conrad	brean	(	de	niro	)	,	a	professional	washington	spin	doctor	,	comes	up	with	in	order	to	restore	the	president's	good	name	who	has	been	accused	of	child	molestation	just	weeks	before	the	election	.	brean	,	along	with	the	president's	top	advisor	,	winifred	ames	(	heche	)	,	fly	to	california	to	meet	up	with	hot	shot	movie	producer	stanley	motss	(	hoffman	)	.	they	pitch	him	an	idea	to	"	produce	"	the	image	of	a	war	with	albania	(	it's	a	country	no	one's	heard	of	so	they	people	will	buy	it	)	.	soon	the	wheels	are	in	motion	and	the	film's	riffing	satire	comes	into	play	.	we're	inundated	with	the	hollywood	mind	set	as	motss	brings	in	a	number	of	experts	to	help	manage	the	situation	,	such	as	a	folk	singer	,	visual	and	sound	effects	technicians	,	and	a	modern	style	expert	known	as	the	fad	king	(	leary	)	.	the	initial	atmosphere	is	rich	with	numerous	pop	culture	references	where	everything	somehow	relates	to	something	on	tv	,	in	the	movies	,	or	in	the	news	.	the	characters'	dialogue	is	witty	and	funny	,	although	some	of	the	actual	jokes	and	gags	seem	rather	sitcom	esque	.	for	example	,	one	scene	shows	motss	and	brean's	production	crew	filming	an	actress	portraying	a	poor	albanian	refugee	.	motss	ordered	a	kitten	for	the	girl	to	carry	,	but	instead	wound	up	with	a	dozen	different	dogs	.	since	it's	all	computer	enhanced	anyway	,	she	ends	up	cradling	a	bag	of	tostitos	with	the	kitten	to	be	inserted	later	.	this	demonstrates	the	film's	ability	to	take	a	relatively	ordinary	situation	and	make	it	smart	and	funny	just	through	the	premise	.	but	then	there's	the	gags	and	one	liners	that	,	although	are	humorous	,	seem	a	little	gratuitious	in	the	long	run	such	as	motss	not	being	able	to	remember	the	actress's	name	,	or	,	whenever	a	problem	emerges	,	always	responding	with	,	"	this	is	nothing	!	"	by	the	time	the	film	makes	it	to	the	midpoint	,	everything	that	is	going	to	happen	in	terms	of	plot	happens	.	the	first	act	is	quickly	paced	,	while	the	second	act	contains	most	of	the	jokes	and	is	the	core	of	the	film	.	every	ten	minutes	or	so	a	new	problem	crops	up	that	motss	and	brean	must	deal	with	,	and	it's	always	fascinating	to	see	what	they	do	and	how	they	do	it	.	the	screenplay	provides	good	characterization	and	actually	deals	with	most	of	the	problems	head	on	in	realistic	manners	.	however	,	it	does	have	a	tendency	to	avoid	things	and	shift	its	focus	from	the	election	campaign	and	false	war	smokescreen	to	something	a	bit	off	the	subject	.	as	the	third	act	rolls	around	the	satirical	nature	becomes	more	concerned	with	the	situations	and	less	so	with	the	big	picture	.	what	had	started	off	as	a	brilliant	,	somewhat	harmless	conspiracy	to	fool	the	general	public	begins	to	seem	more	like	something	that	would	happen	in	a	movie	.	still	,	the	situation	comedy	is	quite	funny	,	especially	a	montage	showing	the	entire	country	flinging	old	shoes	into	trees	to	honor	sgt	.	willie	schumann	a	war	hero	motss	and	brean	concocted	.	truly	great	satire	manages	to	create	for	an	entertaining	story	that	makes	you	laugh	at	the	time	,	but	think	about	afterwards	and	"	wag	the	dog	"	at	least	succeeds	in	this	respect	.	however	,	in	retrospect	it	seems	like	so	much	more	could	have	been	done	,	namely	by	extending	the	running	time	and	filling	in	the	plot	holes	.	then	again	,	it's	a	valiant	effort	.	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	180	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.	also	,	check	out	the	first	shay	astar	web	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	a
pos	written	by	:	richard	friedenberg	(	adapted	from	the	novel	by	forrest	carter	)	starring	:	joseph	ashton	,	james	cromwell	,	tantoo	cardinal	,	graham	greeneingredients	:	little	orphan	boy	,	rural	grandparents	,	mountains	,	native	american	lore	synopsis	:	in	this	loving	film	portrayal	of	an	idyllic	and	pivotal	time	that	a	young	boy	spends	with	grandpa	and	grandma	,	the	self	recollections	of	an	unseen	narrator	focus	on	his	world	view	as	a	tennessee	orphan	boy	learning	of	his	heritage	through	his	grandparents	.	the	setting	is	after	the	first	world	war	,	during	the	great	depression	years	.	a	nine	year	old	orphan	named	little	tree	(	joseph	ashton	)	is	taken	in	and	taught	the	wondrous	ways	of	the	woods	by	his	caucasian	moonshiner	grandpa	(	james	cromwell	)	and	his	native	american	grandma	(	tantoo	cardinal	)	in	the	wilderness	of	the	mountains	of	tennessee	.	here	little	tree	learns	an	almost	magical	appreciation	for	nature	and	farm	life	and	experiences	beautiful	and	wondrous	things	such	as	the	sunrise	.	everything	is	miraculous	to	a	child	.	but	it	all	comes	crashing	down	for	the	boy	when	the	u	.	s	.	government	forcibly	takes	custody	away	from	grandpa	and	grandma	,	and	forces	little	tree	to	attend	the	notched	gap	boarding	school	,	a	kind	of	internment	camp	where	multiracial	cherokee	kids	are	indoctrinated	to	dress	,	pray	,	speak	,	and	think	like	white	people	or	face	solitary	confinement	and	corporeal	punishment	.	through	his	childhood	experiences	,	little	tree	learns	lessons	about	love	,	race	,	life	,	death	,	people	,	nature	,	and	folk	wisdom	.	opinion	:	this	excellent	,	excellent	family	movie	.	it	is	one	of	those	priceless	screen	gems	that	nobody	knows	about	because	it's	not	highly	advertised	.	you	won't	find	any	formula	schlock	,	cutesy	characters	,	canned	spirituality	,	sequel	teasers	or	commercial	tie	ins	,	but	you	will	find	the	education	of	little	tree	to	be	a	refreshing	,	impeccably	acted	,	original	,	wonderful	,	and	touching	film	.	take	the	whole	family	and	bring	a	box	of	tissues	for	the	tearjerkers	.	this	one's	as	good	as	old	yeller	.
pos	what	do	you	get	when	you	combine	clueless	and	dumb	and	dumber	?	to	answer	the	question	,	you	get	director	david	mirkin's	new	comedy	romy	and	michele's	high	school	reunion	.	romy	white	(	mira	sorvino	,	mighty	aprhodite	)	and	michele	weinberger	(	lisa	kudrow	,	tv's	friends	)	have	been	inseparable	buddies	since	they	graduated	from	sagebrush	high	in	1987	.	however	,	when	former	classmate	heather	mooney	(	janeane	garafolo	,	the	truth	about	cats	and	dogs	)	confronts	romy	about	the	10	year	reunion	,	she	is	astounded	that	she	forgot	.	watching	pretty	woman	for	the	um	teenth	time	,	they	are	reminded	of	how	they	wouldn't	let	julia	roberts'	character	shop	in	the	expensive	stores	because	of	her	appearance	.	then	it	hits	them	:	they	are	not	successful	.	what	are	she	and	michele	going	to	do	?	romy's	instant	solution	is	lose	some	weight	off	their	already	slender	frames	,	"	bag	a	couple	of	boyfriends	,	"	and	get	jobs	.	romy	says	this	will	be	easy	,	but	michele	retorts	that	if	it	is	so	easy	,	why	hadn't	they	already	done	it	.	robin	schiff's	script	keeps	the	show	moving	with	some	nice	one	liners	.	one	of	the	best	has	romy	reminiscing	about	her	life's	battle	against	the	bathroom	scales	.	"	i	was	so	lucky	getting	mono	,	"	she	says	looking	at	her	thinnest	high	school	picture	.	"	that	was	like	the	best	diet	ever	.	"	the	casting	for	the	film	is	so	perfect	that	one	begins	to	suspect	that	the	leads	were	chosen	and	then	the	script	was	developed	.	romy	and	michele	use	their	high	school	yearbook	to	discuss	the	caste	system	at	their	high	school	.	the	film's	editor	david	finfer	dissolves	the	stills	from	the	yearbook	to	live	action	flashbacks	which	makes	the	past	come	to	life	.	at	sagebrush	high	,	the	hierarchy	consisted	of	the	a	group	(	cheerleaders	)	,	the	b	group	(	drama	club	)	and	the	c	group	(	nerds	)	.	romy	and	michele	were	none	of	the	above	.	ridiculed	as	"	the	weirdoes	,	"	they	were	constant	targets	for	abuse	.	even	though	they	were	quite	attractive	,	they	had	so	much	fun	being	together	that	they	did	not	care	about	the	others	.	that	they	make	their	own	outlandish	clothes	helped	keep	the	wall	around	them	.	complementing	romy	and	michele's	lightness	,	is	janeane	garofalo	as	the	dark	,	pudgy	heather	mooney	.	heather	,	who	invented	a	new	cigarette	paper	for	cigarettes	with	"	twice	the	taste	in	half	the	time	for	the	gal	on	the	go	,	"	has	the	success	and	the	money	that	they	would	like	.	heather	was	even	more	of	an	outsider	than	they	were	in	high	school	.	garofalo's	one	dimensional	role	is	only	a	side	show	.	this	is	a	two	person	film	with	the	other	characters	there	merely	for	the	two	leads	to	bounce	their	lines	off	of	.	the	genuine	chemistry	between	sorvino	and	kudrow	makes	for	a	sweet	and	sometimes	touching	comedy	.	they	have	so	much	fun	acting	out	their	parts	,	their	enjoyment	spreads	to	the	audience	.	grade	:	b	,	1	2	out	of
pos	the	age	of	innocence	a	film	by	martin	scorsese	starring	:	daniel	day	lewis	,	winona	ryder	,	and	michelle	pfeiffer	written	by	jay	cocks	and	martin	scorsese	based	on	the	novel	by	edith	wharton	martin	scorsese's	triumphant	adaptation	of	edith	wharton's	the	age	of	innocence	is	a	stunning	film	for	the	quintessential	new	york	filmmaker	,	the	man	who	brought	the	streets	of	taxi	driver	and	mean	streets	to	life	.	it	seems	like	an	odd	choice	for	scorsese	to	do	a	period	piece	in	the	early	1900's	,	but	the	fact	that	he	pulls	it	off	so	brilliantly	is	a	wonder	,	and	a	testament	to	the	greatness	of	scorsese	as	a	filmmaker	.	this	is	a	gorgeous	visual	experience	that	it	surely	one	of	scorsese's	finest	.	newland	archer	(	day	lewis	)	is	a	prestigious	lawyer	who	is	engaged	to	may	welland	(	ryder	)	,	a	somewhat	empty	and	shallow	new	yorker	,	who	belongs	to	a	prestigious	family	and	is	quite	beautiful	.	the	marriage	is	one	which	will	unite	two	very	prestigious	families	,	in	a	society	where	nothing	is	more	important	than	the	opinions	of	others	.	on	the	day	that	archer	is	to	announce	his	engagement	to	may	,	countess	ellen	olenska	(	pfeiffer	)	,	cousin	of	may	,	walks	into	archer's	life	.	archer	is	immediately	captivated	,	and	finds	himself	in	love	with	ellen	.	archer	is	also	bound	by	the	limits	of	new	york	society	,	which	is	an	intrusive	as	any	other	in	the	world	.	archer	finds	himself	having	a	secret	love	affair	in	his	mind	with	countess	olenska	,	attempting	to	keep	her	in	his	mind	while	trying	not	to	lose	his	social	status	.	the	film's	subject	matter	may	seem	alien	to	scorsese	,	but	the	theme	is	definitely	not	.	it	is	a	theme	of	forbidden	romance	,	guilty	pleasures	,	and	the	consequences	causes	because	of	those	actions	.	there	is	a	painstakingly	flawed	hero	,	and	his	choice	between	the	life	he	wants	,	and	the	life	he	is	destined	for	.	in	truth	,	it	is	a	film	about	a	society	the	audience	doesn't	know	about	,	but	wants	to	find	out	more	,	much	like	the	society	of	goodfellas	or	even	kundun	.	the	performances	are	absolutely	breathtaking	.	day	lewis	portrays	more	mental	anguish	in	his	face	than	one	man	should	be	forced	to	take	.	pfeiffer	is	marvelous	as	countess	olenska	,	a	mix	of	passion	and	beauty	that	the	audience	would	die	for	as	well	.	ryder	is	probably	the	gem	of	the	group	,	for	it	is	her	quiet	presence	that	overwhelms	the	plot	,	and	slowly	pushes	day	lewis	closer	and	closer	to	his	eventual	ending	.	the	supporting	cast	is	also	wonderful	,	with	several	characters	so	singular	that	they	are	indelible	in	one's	memory	.	scorsese	definitely	has	a	passion	for	filmmaking	.	his	lavish	and	sumptuous	set	design	and	marvelous	recreation	of	new	york	is	a	wondrous	sight	.	he	literally	transports	the	viewer	to	another	world	with	incredible	imagery	.	his	script	is	also	excellent	,	slow	in	buildup	,	with	a	rapid	conclusion	and	a	fantastic	ending	that	has	to	be	seen	to	be	believed	.	it	is	difficult	to	make	a	period	piece	gripping	:	scorsese	,	however	,	does	it	beautifully	.	the	famous	cameras	of	the	legendary	director	are	also	everywhere	.	he	is	patient	,	but	he	films	everything	and	anything	remotely	important	.	the	cameras	sweep	,	pan	,	track	,	and	do	more	than	they've	ever	done	,	but	they	are	so	subtle	,	one	doesn't	realize	he's	watching	all	the	scorsese	hallmarks	until	a	2nd	viewing	.	the	central	tracking	shot	is	probably	longer	and	more	complex	than	the	famous	goodfellas	shot	,	but	the	viewer	doesn't	notice	it	,	because	we	want	to	see	more	of	this	gorgeous	world	.	there	are	a	few	deft	touches	of	filmmaking	that	are	simply	outstanding	,	and	joanne	woodward'	narration	is	exquisite	.	not	a	fast	film	like	goodfellas	,	this	shares	more	in	common	with	kundun	than	anything	else	.	and	like	kundun	,	this	is	a	slow	starting	film	that	truly	shines	,	when	given	the	chance	to	fully	breathe	and	bloom	in	the	end	.	a	beautiful	film	by	a	director	continuing	to	challenge	himself	year	after	year	.
pos	saving	private	ryan	(	dreamworks	)	running	time	:	2	hours	48	minutes	.	starring	tom	hanks	,	edward	burns	,	tom	sizemore	and	matt	damon	directed	by	steven	spielberg	already	being	hailed	as	the	'greatest	war	movie	ever	made	,	'	saving	private	ryan	is	an	harrowing	,	saddening	and	riveting	movie	.	it	may	not	be	the	greatest	war	movie	in	my	opinion	,	but	it's	certainly	one	of	the	best	war	movies	made	,	and	one	of	the	best	of	1998	.	tom	hanks	stars	as	a	captain	who's	troop	has	to	find	private	ryan	(	damon	)	who	has	a	ticket	home	because	his	three	brothers	have	been	killed	in	action	.	action	,	drama	and	even	some	humour	occur	as	the	troop	journeys	through	wartime	france	to	find	him	.	after	the	disappointing	amistad	(	1997	)	spielberg	has	returned	to	form	with	this	excellent	movie	.	i'm	not	the	war	movie	genre	biggest	fan	,	but	i	found	this	film	to	be	gripping	,	and	very	scary	,	thanks	to	the	excellent	cast	,	direction	and	terrifying	battle	scenes	.	tom	hanks	is	superb	,	straying	away	from	his	usually	soppy	dramatic	roles	,	such	as	in	forrest	gump	(	1994	)	.	this	time	,	he	plays	the	role	with	gritty	realism	,	and	is	much	better	for	it	.	occasionally	he	overacts	the	sentimentally	,	but	he	generally	delivers	a	fine	performance	.	edward	burns	,	looking	a	lot	like	armageddon's	ben	affleck	,	also	delivers	a	top	notch	performance	,	moving	away	from	his	roles	in	films	such	as	she's	the	one	(	1996	)	tom	sizemore	makes	less	of	an	impact	,	but	is	still	watchable	,	and	matt	damon	reinforcing	his	position	as	one	of	the	finest	young	actors	working	today	.	spielberg	directs	very	well	,	putting	the	audience	right	in	the	heart	of	the	action	of	the	battle	scenes	.	and	what	battle	scenes	they	are	!	they're	truly	terrifying	,	yet	the	audience	cannot	drag	their	eyes	away	from	the	screen	.	the	battle	scenes	are	filmed	with	a	jerky	hand	held	camera	,	and	the	panic	and	confusion	felt	by	the	soldiers	is	emphasized	by	this	technique	.	the	gore	and	violence	isn't	spared	either	,	which	body	parts	flying	,	and	blood	spurting	.	this	film	is	certainly	not	for	kids	and	sensitive	adults	.	other	factors	help	saving	private	ryan	be	a	masterpiece	of	90's	film	making	.	the	cinematography	is	excellent	,	and	the	music	score	by	john	william's	is	also	superb	.	it	is	never	intrusive	,	and	adds	to	the	drama	on	screen	.	but	while	they	are	thousands	of	good	things	great	about	private	ryan	,	there's	one	major	flaw	that	detracts	the	genius	of	the	film	:	the	writing	.	it	is	unusually	flat	,	with	many	of	the	speeches	strangely	weak	.	the	film	never	really	makes	any	profound	statements	.	this	is	not	a	major	gripe	,	as	private	ryan	is	a	film	of	action	,	not	words	.	still	,	the	script	could	of	been	a	lot	better	.	thankfully	,	the	actors	help	partly	to	rectify	the	situation	with	their	great	delivery	of	their	lines	.	saving	private	ryan	,	in	the	end	,	is	an	excellent	film	,	but	not	the	'greatest	war	movie'	due	to	it's	weak	acting	.	this	film	should	be	viewed	by	everyone	who	has	the	stomach	for	it	,	as	it's	rewarding	and	extremely	worthwhile	.	it	really	shouldn't	be	missed	,	and	dreamworks	skg	has	finally	found	it's	first	hit	movie	.
pos	first	,	i'd	like	to	say	it's	nice	to	have	spike	lee	vindicate	himself	after	doing	something	like	girl	6	.	get	on	the	bus	is	easily	the	best	film	he	has	made	since	do	the	right	thing	with	the	exception	of	maybe	malcolm	x	.	spike	does	in	this	film	what	he	does	best	he	presents	issues	that	face	society	in	an	unbiased	manner	and	lets	the	audience	sort	their	feelings	on	their	own	.	i	love	a	film	that	engages	my	mind	.	the	story	is	about	a	busload	of	black	men	that	board	in	south	central	los	angeles	and	drive	across	the	country	to	the	million	man	march	in	washington	d	.	c	.	the	film	was	funded	by	fifteen	african	american	men	and	shot	in	just	18	days	.	this	is	another	example	of	expert	filmmaking	(	writing	,	directing	,	acting	)	that	i	hope	the	oscars	do	not	overlook	.	the	screenwriter	,	reggie	rock	bythewood	is	very	talented	.	however	,	i	would	say	that	the	screenplay	is	a	little	weak	in	a	few	spots	.	this	may	be	due	to	the	film's	hurried	production	.	but	i	tell	you	that	nothing	in	the	script	is	so	bad	as	to	detract	from	the	better	scenes	.	the	greatest	aspect	of	the	screenplay	is	that	the	ideas	behind	the	million	man	march	and	the	reasons	for	going	are	expressed	without	directly	involving	the	march	itself	.	this	makes	those	ideas	much	more	powerful	because	it	eliminates	the	inclusion	of	minister	farrakhan	,	to	which	many	would	disregard	the	march's	message	in	favor	of	claiming	it	racist	and	sexist	.	this	idea	is	also	expressed	in	another	way	.	there	is	a	member	of	the	nation	of	islam	on	the	bus	who	never	says	a	word	and	never	gets	involved	in	any	of	the	scenes	.	his	presence	is	a	symbol	of	the	march	,	in	that	,	even	though	the	nation	of	islam	was	there	and	organized	the	march	,	the	march	was	not	about	the	nation	of	islam	.	spike	lee	is	one	of	the	best	filmmakers	working	today	.	in	get	on	the	bus	,	he's	trying	something	different	the	sure	sign	of	a	filmmaker	that	understands	that	the	learning	process	never	stops	.	here	,	he	meshes	his	ever	evolving	style	with	that	of	a	documentarian's	eye	.	the	bus	ride	feels	"	captured	"	by	the	filmmaker	.	although	there	is	plenty	of	hand	held	camerawork	,	it	is	as	though	spike	lee	was	able	to	film	a	documentary	and	still	maintain	effective	use	of	dollies	,	cranes	and	tripods	.	it	is	an	astonishing	feat	from	a	filmmaker's	perspective	and	an	effective	technique	for	anyone	watching	.	as	i	watched	the	film	,	i	noticed	two	things	about	the	audience	.	the	first	was	that	anytime	a	character	made	a	slant	toward	one	of	the	homosexual	characters	,	the	audience	laughed	hysterically	.	the	scenes	were	obviously	written	to	be	funny	,	but	i	think	that	the	predictability	of	our	own	stereotypes	was	what	the	screenwriter	was	knowingly	commenting	on	.	i	back	this	up	with	another	scene	where	the	bus	stops	at	a	roadside	diner	in	tennessee	.	the	instant	we	see	all	the	white	faces	inside	,	the	audience	expects	a	confrontation	.	in	fact	,	everyone	gets	along	pretty	well	.	even	when	ossie	davis	explains	that	steer	wrestling	was	invented	by	a	black	cowboy	,	his	listener	responds	with	,	"	how	about	that	.	"	it's	fairly	obvious	that	these	two	scenes	say	more	about	the	audience	than	the	characters	.	but	then	,	that's	what	i	expect	from	a	spike	lee	joint	.
pos	with	storytelling	this	compelling	,	who	needs	books	?	based	on	the	book	by	author	james	ellroy	,	l	.	a	.	confidential	is	probably	one	of	the	best	piece	of	work	produced	by	hollywood	in	recent	years	.	together	with	director	curtis	hanson	(	the	hand	that	rocks	the	cradle	,	the	river	wild	)	whom	ellroy	corroborated	closely	throughout	the	shooting	of	the	film	,	resulted	in	a	movie	with	a	plot	and	and	script	so	tight	,	an	atom	would	have	to	squeeze	itself	through	.	set	in	the	50s	,	the	story	revolves	around	3	policemen	of	vivid	personalities	.	jack	vincennes	(	spacey	)	is	the	cop	who	is	more	concerned	on	busting	with	fame	and	stardom	ala	hollywood	style	,	concentrating	heavily	on	work	which	will	attract	him	media	attention	.	there	is	also	the	young	hot	shot	rookie	,	ed	exley	(	pearce	)	,	fresh	out	of	the	academy	and	all	out	to	carve	a	name	for	himself	in	the	footsteps	of	his	legendary	cop	father	.	the	tough	and	unnerving	bud	white	(	crowe	)	,	a	cop	who	believes	in	justice	,	the	swift	and	violent	way	.	3	policemen	,	distinct	in	their	characters	and	paths	but	all	of	them	working	in	a	place	where	there	is	no	real	distinction	between	good	and	evil	.	when	his	partner	is	murdered	on	the	day	of	his	resignation	,	bud	sets	out	to	find	the	people	responsible	but	unwittingly	delved	himself	into	something	more	than	just	a	simple	robbery	murder	.	even	after	exley	receives	a	promotion	for	his	work	on	the	murder	case	,	happenings	began	to	link	itself	to	the	murder	.	the	3	eventually	reach	a	point	of	convergence	when	what	actually	began	as	a	personal	investigation	turns	out	to	be	an	uncovering	of	a	complex	web	of	organised	crime	in	hollywood	.	the	last	time	i	remember	a	film	so	clever	and	compelling	was	when	i	watched	the	usual	suspects	.	in	l	.	a	.	confidential	,	you	do	not	get	the	shock	and	cleverness	as	the	former	but	it	has	a	lot	more	of	story'	going	for	it	.	there	is	not	a	single	moment	in	the	film	in	which	i	felt	was	slow	at	all	.	surprisingly	,	though	spacey	did	a	very	convincing	job	as	the	street	wise	vincennes	,	the	movie	was	carried	mostly	by	the	two	rather	unknowns'	,	pearce	and	crowe	.	pearce's	exley	is	cool	and	calculative	in	his	actions	and	there	is	a	slight	hint	of	val	kilmer	in	his	appearance	.	crowe's	bud	white	is	the	most	impressive	of	all	;	head	strong	and	temperamental	,	he	should	obtain	some	sort	of	recognition	for	his	work	here	.	superb	acting	.	,	wonderful	storytelling	and	one	of	the	best	climaxing	gunfights	ever	.	easily	the	best	hollywood	piece	for	1997	.
pos	rating	:	1	2	out	of	8	.	5	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	tommy	lee	jones	(	agent	kay	)	,	will	smith	(	james	edwards	agent	jay	)	,	linda	fiorentino	(	dr	.	laurel	weaver	agent	elle	)	,	vincent	d'onofrio	(	edgar	)	,	rip	torn	(	zed	)	director	:	barry	sonnenfeld	certification	:	pg	13	(	usa	)	mild	violence	and	language	year	of	production	:	1997	men	in	black	is	an	explosive	mix	of	science	fiction	,	action	,	and	comedy	that	hits	the	target	in	every	possible	way	.	although	another	alien	movie	,	men	in	black	succeeds	in	every	way	that	independence	day	didn't	,	and	towers	above	many	other	movies	of	its	type	.	the	brilliant	acting	,	especially	by	tommy	lee	jones	as	agent	kay	,	is	also	as	good	as	it	gets	.	director	barry	sonnenfeld	,	who	was	behind	the	camera	for	the	addams	family	movies	and	get	shorty	,	has	crafted	a	masterpiece	.	the	story	behind	men	in	black	is	just	as	interesting	as	you	would	want	it	to	be	.	the	men	in	black	,	or	mib	,	are	a	top	secret	governmental	agency	that	is	not	known	to	exist	.	the	mib	are	responsible	for	"	saving	the	world	from	the	scum	of	the	universe	"	.	a	though	job	,	indeed	.	the	film	opens	with	a	truckload	of	illegal	aliens	(	the	human	kind	)	being	transported	across	the	mexico	border	and	into	the	united	states	.	presumably	,	these	"	aliens	"	are	all	migrant	workers	.	that	is	,	until	the	mib	show	up	and	begin	interrogating	them	.	agent	kay	selects	a	particular	suspicious	worker	and	takes	him	away	from	the	other	local	authorities	to	discover	that	he	is	not	an	illegal	human	alien	,	but	a	real	extra	terrestrial	alien	.	when	the	alien	makes	a	run	for	it	,	agent	kay	is	forced	to	eliminate	the	alien	with	one	of	the	mib's	very	unique	weapons	,	and	after	one	of	the	local	law	enforcement	officers	witnesses	this	bizarre	occurrence	,	agent	kay	is	forced	to	use	another	very	unique	device	on	them	.	the	device	,	described	as	"	out	of	state	"	,	eliminates	the	memory	of	anyone	it	is	used	on	.	from	here	,	we	are	introduced	to	james	edwards	,	played	very	well	by	will	smith	.	edwards	,	a	police	officer	,	is	chasing	a	fleeing	criminal	.	the	criminal	gives	a	very	good	chase	,	and	at	one	point	when	edwards	confronts	him	,	the	criminal	pulls	out	a	very	different	looking	weapon	that	disintegrated	when	it	hit	the	ground	.	edwards	continues	to	chase	the	very	athletic	criminal	to	the	top	of	a	building	,	where	the	criminal	informs	edwards	that	he	must	let	him	go	,	because	someone	is	after	him	.	edwards	doesn't	take	this	seriously	,	but	when	the	criminal	shows	very	non	human	characteristics	and	leaps	off	the	building	,	he	begins	to	wonder	.	back	at	the	police	station	,	agent	kay	shows	up	to	ask	edwards	a	few	questions	.	he	informs	edwards	that	is	was	,	in	fact	,	a	non	human	that	he	was	chasing	,	and	that	the	gun	he	pulled	out	was	definitely	not	man	made	.	he	has	edwards	identify	the	gun	,	and	asks	edwards	to	come	to	the	mib	headquarters	the	following	day	.	edwards	arrives	and	finds	that	he	is	involved	in	a	recruiting	process	,	along	with	various	other	men	who	seem	a	bit	more	qualified	than	he	.	after	goofing	up	for	half	of	the	time	,	edwards	puts	on	a	show	at	the	firing	range	,	and	agent	kay	notes	the	reason	why	he	feels	edwards	should	be	the	man	to	join	the	mib	:	he	chased	down	the	"	criminal	"	on	foot	,	which	is	something	that	no	one	is	supposed	to	be	able	to	do	.	in	the	meantime	,	an	upstate	new	york	farm	has	a	very	close	encounter	.	edgar	(	vincent	d'onofrio	)	,	owner	of	the	farm	,	investigates	a	strange	crash	landing	and	is	attacked	by	the	inhabitant	of	the	flying	object	,	which	presumes	to	jump	inside	edgar	and	use	his	body	as	a	human	transport	.	the	"	bug	"	,	as	he	is	called	,	is	an	intergalactic	terrorist	who	has	come	to	earth	to	attempt	to	kill	two	ambassadors	.	and	it	up	to	the	mib	,	with	newly	recruited	agent	jay	(	formerly	james	edwards	)	to	exterminate	the	bug	and	save	the	planet	from	intergalactic	war	.	men	in	black	delightfully	combines	fast	paced	action	with	often	hilarious	comedy	,	which	is	usually	from	will	smith	,	although	tommy	lee	jones	opens	up	his	comedic	personality	in	this	film	.	the	special	effects	are	also	very	well	done	and	are	not	the	entire	source	of	the	plot	,	as	in	another	big	alien	film	from	the	past	summer	.	screenwriter	ed	solomon	,	writer	of	super	mario	bros	.	and	the	upcoming	x	men	film	,	has	surely	struck	gold	with	this	story	.	all	ages	will	enjoy	men	in	black	.	it	is	an	extremely	fun	film	that	you	will	want	to	see	again	.	although	it	runs	a	very	quick	and	speedy	96	minutes	,	the	entire	film	from	beginning	to	end	is	a	non	stop	adventure	.	the	ending	of	the	film	,	which	ties	up	a	few	loose	ends	for	one	of	the	main	characters	,	is	also	very	well	done	.	a	sequel	is	already	being	planned	,	so	there	is	more	to	look	forward	to	!	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	directed	by	eric	rohmer	.	cast	:	amanda	langlet	,	arielle	dombsale	,	pascal	greggory	,	fedoor	atkine	,	simon	de	la	brosse	,	rosette	.	1983	94	minutes	french	subtitled	.	rated	r	(	for	nudity	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	october	5	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	mailto	:	filmfan16	aol	.	com	"	filmfan16	aol	.	com	a	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a	eric	rohmer's	"	pauline	at	the	beach	,	"	is	one	of	those	small	,	deliberately	paced	,	but	charming	foreign	films	in	which	not	much	happens	plot	wise	,	but	a	lot	happens	to	the	characters	emotionally	.	the	film	takes	place	during	a	few	weeks	of	august	at	the	normandy	coast	,	and	centers	on	six	different	characters	,	primarily	pauline	(	amanda	langlet	)	,	a	wise	beyond	her	years	15	year	old	who	has	come	to	stay	for	the	summer	with	her	older	cousin	,	marion	(	arielle	dombasle	)	.	on	the	first	day	at	the	beach	,	marion	runs	into	an	old	high	school	flame	(	fedoore	atkine	)	,	and	although	he	wants	to	rekindle	their	relationship	,	she	is	more	interested	in	an	older	,	more	seductive	womanizer	(	pascal	greggory	)	,	who	is	also	secretly	having	an	affair	with	a	candy	vendor	(	rosette	)	.	while	pauline	watches	as	an	outsider	at	what	is	happening	between	all	of	the	adults	,	she	forms	a	relationship	of	her	own	with	a	young	teenage	boy	(	simon	de	la	brosse	)	.	"	pauline	at	the	beach	,	"	is	not	a	film	in	which	big	dramatic	things	occur	,	and	there	is	not	a	clear	cut	,	tidy	conclusion	to	the	story	.	instead	,	it	is	a	picture	that	simply	observes	its	characters	in	every	day	life	,	and	the	surprises	come	from	little	character	details	.	the	film	is	quite	talky	and	slow	moving	,	and	so	it	is	pretty	safe	to	say	it	isn't	for	those	who	are	only	a	fan	of	action	movies	,	but	is	a	treat	for	those	viewers	who	often	like	to	venture	outside	of	the	big	budget	genre	and	see	a	good	art	film	.	this	is	the	first	film	by	acclaimed	director	eric	rohmer	(	1969's	"	my	night	at	mauds	,	"	and	1971's	"	claire's	knee	"	)	that	i	have	seen	,	but	his	direction	is	assured	and	intelligent	,	as	is	the	screenplay	,	which	he	also	wrote	.	"	pauline	at	the	beach	,	"	is	a	film	worth	seeing	.
pos	cast	:	denzel	washington	,	john	goodman	,	donald	sutherland	,	embeth	davidtz	,	james	gandolfini	,	elias	koteas	director	:	gregory	hoblit	producers	:	charles	roven	,	dawn	steel	screenplay	:	nicholas	kazan	cinematography	:	newton	thomas	sigel	music	:	tan	dun	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	warner	brothers	call	it	touched	by	a	demon	.	gregory	hoblit's	fallen	is	a	serial	killer	movie	with	an	unusual	,	horrific	twist	.	if	marketed	properly	,	this	film	could	have	crossover	appeal	for	both	those	who	appreciate	supernatural	tales	like	the	prophesy	and	those	who	crave	grim	,	dark	thrillers	like	silence	of	the	lambs	and	seven	.	in	fact	,	there's	even	a	little	twin	peaks	to	be	found	here	,	albeit	with	the	lion's	share	of	the	weirdness	distilled	out	.	(	remember	bob	?	)	the	biggest	failing	of	fallen	is	that	,	although	it's	consistently	interesting	,	it's	not	always	as	edgy	and	suspenseful	as	one	might	hope	.	a	serial	killer	(	elias	koteas	)	has	been	on	the	loose	in	philadephia	,	but	detective	john	hobbes	(	denzel	washington	)	,	the	noblest	man	on	the	police	force	,	has	brought	him	to	justice	.	now	,	during	his	last	hours	on	death	row	awaiting	his	inevitable	date	with	the	gas	chamber	,	the	mass	murderer	cryptically	tells	hobbes	,	"	what	goes	around	really	goes	around	.	"	shortly	thereafter	,	he	begins	to	sing	"	time	is	on	my	side	"	as	he's	taken	on	his	last	walk	.	minutes	later	,	the	state	of	pennsylvania	has	carried	out	the	execution	and	edgar	reese	is	dead	.	but	for	hobbes	,	the	nightmare	is	just	beginning	,	because	reese	wasn't	a	normal	psychopath	he	was	the	host	body	for	a	mythical	dark	angel	named	azazel	.	and	,	with	reese's	death	,	azazel	is	free	to	hop	from	body	to	body	,	murdering	and	wreaking	havoc	at	will	.	only	hobbes	and	a	pretty	,	female	theology	teacher	(	embeth	davidtz	)	have	an	inkling	of	what	they're	up	against	.	the	rest	of	the	cops	,	including	hobbes'	partner	,	jonesy	(	john	goodman	)	;	lou	(	james	gandolfini	)	,	a	newcomer	to	the	department	;	and	lieutenant	stanton	(	donald	sutherland	)	,	don't	have	a	clue	,	and	,	as	a	result	,	they	are	in	mortal	danger	.	as	depicted	by	hoblit	(	primal	fear	)	and	cinematographer	newton	thomas	sigel	,	philadelphia	is	a	dark	,	dreary	place	a	gothic	city	rather	than	a	modern	one	.	no	skyscrapers	or	other	monoliths	of	current	architecture	or	technology	are	shown	.	the	most	famous	landmark	to	appear	isn't	the	liberty	bell	or	independence	hall	;	it's	geno's	steaks	.	shadows	and	night	scenes	abound	.	the	days	are	cloudy	and	unpromising	.	this	is	the	kind	of	setting	where	it's	easy	to	believe	that	fallen	angels	walk	among	men	.	fallen's	plot	is	brimming	with	potential	,	not	all	of	which	is	realized	.	somehow	,	i	would	have	expected	a	more	frightening	tale	to	emerge	from	something	with	this	kind	of	premise	.	but	the	level	of	terror	,	like	that	of	gore	,	is	kept	in	check	.	nevertheless	,	there	are	several	creepily	effective	scenes	as	the	spirit	of	azazel	moves	from	body	to	body	when	people	bump	against	each	other	on	crowded	city	sidewalks	.	the	film	also	boasts	a	chase	sequence	of	a	kind	that	can	best	be	described	as	unusual	.	of	the	several	dozen	actors	to	play	azazel	,	the	best	is	by	far	elias	koteas	(	exotica	,	crash	)	,	who	,	despite	only	being	on	screen	for	about	ten	minutes	,	gives	a	fantastically	charged	performance	.	john	goodman	also	seems	to	be	enjoying	himself	,	although	his	role	for	most	of	the	film	is	relegated	to	that	of	a	burly	sidekick	.	sadly	,	however	,	these	two	are	the	only	ones	who	excel	.	everyone	else	,	including	denzel	washington	,	is	boring	.	washington's	flat	performance	is	the	most	disappointing	surprise	of	the	film	.	it's	not	that	he's	bad	per	se	,	but	he's	not	very	interesting	.	there's	no	real	sense	of	vulnerability	or	desperation	in	the	way	he	portrays	his	character	,	and	that	keeps	us	distanced	,	however	slightly	,	from	hobbes	.	as	circumstances	become	progressively	more	dire	for	the	cop	,	and	as	his	life	or	death	chess	game	with	azazel	approaches	the	point	of	checkmate	,	i	expected	to	be	more	on	the	edge	of	my	seat	than	i	was	.	washington's	subdued	approach	is	part	of	the	reason	for	this	;	i	never	felt	a	sense	of	urgency	.	however	,	at	least	washington	was	believable	,	which	is	more	than	can	be	said	for	embeth	davidtz	(	schindler's	list	)	and	donald	sutherland	.	to	be	fair	,	the	flaws	in	their	characters	aren't	all	acting	related	;	neither	stanton	nor	gretta	milano	are	well	written	.	that	said	,	however	,	there's	nothing	inspired	about	either	davidtz's	or	sutherland's	work	.	both	appear	to	be	sleepwalking	their	way	through	the	parts	,	as	if	they	know	that	their	contribution	to	the	film	is	one	of	advancing	the	plot	rather	than	developing	a	multi	dimensional	individual	.	narratively	,	fallen	has	a	few	glaring	weaknesses	.	although	the	plot	proceeds	with	a	convoluted	,	game	like	structure	,	it	uses	a	denzel	washington	supplied	voiceover	to	overexplain	matters	.	at	times	,	this	is	actually	helpful	,	and	it	has	a	use	beyond	the	obvious	,	but	there	are	occasions	when	ponderous	lines	like	"	i	like	the	night	sometimes	you	come	face	to	face	with	yourself	"	become	a	little	hard	to	swallow	.	in	addition	,	fallen	is	saddled	with	the	same	kind	of	disgustingly	bland	,	generic	theology	embraced	by	numerous	movies	and	tv	shows	like	touched	by	an	angel	.	however	,	despite	the	negatives	,	i'm	still	recommending	fallen	on	the	strength	of	its	complex	plot	and	especially	its	ending	,	which	i	loved	.	the	final	scenes	are	startling	,	audacious	,	and	unexpected	.	it's	not	often	that	a	plot	development	takes	me	by	surprise	the	way	this	one	did	.	at	a	time	when	most	movies	fall	apart	in	the	last	ten	minutes	,	fallen	manages	to	buck	the	trend	and	redeem	itself	.	this	is	not	a	great	motion	picture	,	but	,	considering	how	bad	most	january	releases	are	,	it's	a	reasonably	entertaining	way	to	spend	two	hours	.	and	,	whatever	you	do	,	don't	walk	out	on	the	film	before	the	end	credits	have	begun	to	roll	.
pos	did	claus	von	bulow	try	to	kill	his	wife	sunny	in	their	newport	mansion	?	that	is	the	question	reversal	of	fortune	asks	you	to	consider	as	it	opens	in	a	hospital	ward	,	with	a	comatose	sunny	von	bulow	.	she	is	the	main	narrator	of	the	film	,	in	a	narrative	trick	that	was	extraordinarily	risky	for	schroeder	.	the	dramatic	trick	works	,	as	sunny	von	bulow	narrates	a	compelling	story	of	murder	,	sex	,	unhappiness	,	and	a	lawyer's	moral	dilemma	as	he	takes	a	case	he	thinks	he	cannot	win	.	jeremy	irons	is	claus	von	bulow	,	in	what	is	his	finest	role	,	and	one	of	the	most	devastingly	evil	performances	in	history	.	he	is	as	hated	as	any	man	alive	,	as	cold	as	a	cucumber	.	his	remorse	for	his	wife's	comatose	condition	is	nonexistant	,	and	it	is	no	wonder	that	even	his	children	have	difficulty	accepting	his	version	of	what	happened	during	christmas	,	1980	.	the	background	to	the	case	is	such	.	during	christmas	of	1979	,	sunny	von	bulow	fell	into	a	deep	coma	from	which	she	recovered	and	awoke	.	the	same	situation	occured	in	1980	,	only	sunny	never	woke	,	and	probably	never	will	.	when	examined	,	it	was	found	that	she	had	14	times	the	normal	amount	of	insulin	within	her	blood	.	claus	von	bulow	is	then	accused	of	attempted	murder	by	his	stepson	,	convicted	,	and	freed	on	bail	.	he	immediately	hires	alan	dershowitz	,	the	renowed	harvard	law	professor	,	to	acquit	him	.	ron	silver	is	magnificent	as	a	moral	lawyer	who	cannot	stand	what	has	happened	to	him	.	we	follow	him	through	two	very	different	cases	;	the	case	of	the	johnson	case	,	where	two	innocent	kids	are	standing	on	death	row	for	a	crime	they	didn't	commit	,	and	von	bulow	,	who	he	still	hasn't	figured	out	.	dershowitz	doesn't	know	what	happened	to	sunny	,	and	he	is	extremely	hesitant	to	take	the	case	.	nevertheless	,	he	does	,	based	on	certain	things	which	happen	during	the	investigative	process	that	deeply	upset	him	.	together	with	a	group	of	law	students	,	dershowitz	concocts	a	defense	and	ultimately	get	the	verdict	reversed	.	silver's	performance	is	one	of	a	handful	of	solid	roles	in	this	deep	film	.	schroeder	directs	on	many	different	levels	,	with	multiple	plot	lines	which	blend	in	wonderfully	in	the	mind	of	alan	dershowitz	.	there	are	flaws	;	at	times	,	the	film	gets	overly	theatrical	.	yet	,	due	to	glenn	close's	troubled	and	brutally	honest	performance	as	sunny	von	bulow	,	the	use	of	her	comatose	body	as	a	narrator	works	here	fairly	well	.	the	flashbacks	are	good	,	but	at	times	schroeder	doesn't	fill	in	the	blanks	.	the	movie	could	have	benefited	with	the	increased	attention	of	certain	developments	during	the	film	,	and	it	could	have	used	a	better	ending	.	the	film	progressed	wonderfully	before	ending	suddenly	,	without	any	intelligent	conclusion	.	the	supporting	characters	are	often	neglected	,	and	dershowitz's	team	should	have	been	allowed	to	grow	character	wise	,	but	schroeder	over	simplifies	the	story	and	the	characters	.	yet	,	for	all	these	flaws	,	the	film	is	deeply	engrossing	because	of	irons	.	as	von	bulow	,	he	is	brutally	evil	.	anti	semitic	,	prejudiced	,	arrogant	,	protective	,	he	is	a	rotten	,	lying	monster	,	whose	conviction	may	have	been	wrong	legally	,	but	morally	he	was	to	blame	.	irons	plays	him	to	a	cold	perfection	,	with	pathetic	attempts	to	gain	moral	support	for	his	claims	to	innocence	.	he	is	an	adulterous	liar	and	a	cheat	who	in	all	likelihood	committed	the	murder	.	however	,	the	genius	of	reversal	of	fortune	comes	in	its	distinction	between	moral	culpability	and	legal	responsibility	.	there	is	no	doubt	von	bulow	is	responsible	for	his	wife's	death	by	years	of	neglect	and	coldness	.	however	,	legally	,	did	he	do	the	murder	?	schroeder	dares	the	viewer	to	make	up	his	own	mind	.	with	all	the	character	flaws	,	reversal	of	fortune	is	an	engrossing	puzzle	because	it	is	intelligent	;	he	wants	the	viewer	to	make	up	his	own	mind	.	schroeder	taunts	the	viewer	with	contradictory	revelations	,	and	then	mentions	that	the	answer	to	this	compelling	puzzle	shall	be	revealed	when	we	join	sunny	von	bulow	,	in	death	.	for	all	the	failed	dramatic	theatrics	,	this	is	one	that	works	beautifully	.	we	don't	know	what	happened	.	that	sense	of	legal	ambiguousness	,	along	with	von	bulow's	obvious	moral	guilt	,	is	why	reversalf	fortune	works	.	in	the	end	,	von	bulow	is	as	sadistic	as	ever	.	irons	is	haunting	,	and	that	is	why	reversal	of	fortune	is	so	good	.
pos	year	:	2000	.	starring	the	voices	of	julia	sawalha	,	mel	gibson	,	miranda	richardson	,	jane	horrocks	,	imelda	staunton	,	tony	haygarth	,	benjamin	whitrow	.	written	by	peter	lord	nick	park	(	story	)	and	karey	kirkpatrick	(	screenplay	)	.	directed	by	peter	lord	and	nick	park	.	rated	g	.	i	know	that	"	funnest	"	isn't	a	word	.	"	fun	"	is	a	noun	,	and	therefore	cannot	be	conjugated	like	an	adjective	.	but	that's	the	word	that	came	to	me	right	after	viewing	"	chicken	run	.	"	no	wonder	:	this	is	the	kind	of	movie	that	reduces	you	to	childish	expressions	,	like	"	that	was	the	funnest	movie	i've	ever	seen	!	"	so	to	hell	with	webster's	"	chicken	run	"	is	one	of	the	funnest	movies	i've	seen	in	a	while	.	i	can't	remember	the	last	time	i've	seen	anything	funner	.	the	chickens	at	tweedy's	farm	are	up	to	something	.	living	in	a	concentration	camp	like	atmosphere	,	they	are	led	by	one	plucky	hen	called	ginger	(	voice	of	julia	sawalha	)	who	continually	comes	up	with	plans	for	escape	and	always	gets	caught	,	subsequently	spending	day	after	day	in	the	coal	box	.	one	night	,	a	brash	american	rooster	flies	in	over	the	fence	,	calling	himself	rocky	(	mel	gibson	)	,	famous	flying	rooster	and	circus	performer	.	rocky	promises	to	teach	the	chickens	how	to	fly	,	and	the	situation	grows	more	desperate	as	the	nefarious	mrs	.	tweedy	(	miranda	richardson	)	decides	to	abandon	the	farm's	egg	selling	plan	for	a	pie	selling	plan	.	she	orders	a	huge	pie	making	machine	,	cackling	,	"	chickens	go	in	;	pies	come	out	.	"	what	sort	of	pies	?	chicken	pies	,	of	course	.	co	director	nick	park	and	his	studio	,	aardman	animation	,	produced	three	oscar	winning	short	films	:	"	creature	comforts	,	"	"	the	wrong	trousers	,	"	and	"	a	close	shave	.	"	the	latter	two	were	the	second	and	third	installments	of	a	trilogy	starring	the	delightful	team	wallace	gromit	,	a	man	and	his	dog	famous	for	getting	themselves	into	increasingly	peculiar	adventures	.	part	of	what	made	the	"	wallace	"	films	brilliantly	entertaining	was	park's	uncanny	ability	to	make	an	old	story	seem	new	.	"	the	wrong	trousers	,	"	for	example	,	pulled	out	a	lot	of	old	hitchcockian	suspense	tricks	,	and	"	a	close	shave	"	owed	a	great	deal	of	inspiration	to	classic	detective	stories	.	but	in	the	hands	of	park	and	his	team	,	the	stories	felt	fresh	and	inspired	,	and	not	the	least	bit	contrived	.	now	teaming	with	co	director	peter	lord	,	park	has	created	a	similar	creature	in	"	chicken	run	.	"	the	plot	is	largely	lifted	from	"	the	great	escape	"	(	watch	for	a	quick	reference	to	the	ball	bouncing	scene	)	,	with	some	spielberg	inspired	action	sequences	providing	the	excitement	.	thing	is	,	the	film	doesn't	feel	like	it's	been	lifted	from	somewhere	else	;	"	chicken	run	"	feels	fresh	,	alive	,	like	nothing	else	ever	done	.	part	of	it	is	the	original	idea	:	who	in	the	world	came	up	with	the	idea	to	make	a	prisoners	of	war	movie	starring	chickens	?	park	and	lord	milk	the	incongruity	for	all	it's	worth	:	the	characters	treat	their	situation	as	if	it	were	dead	serious	,	and	to	them	,	it	is	.	but	they're	chickens	,	so	it's	funny	to	us	.	another	thing	that	helps	"	chicken	run	"	(	and	most	of	park's	films	)	succeed	is	the	animators'	subtle	way	of	giving	nods	to	the	very	films	they're	cribbing	.	there	are	references	to	"	the	great	escape	,	"	obviously	,	and	"	stalag	17	.	"	the	chase	sequence	inside	the	chicken	grinder	parodies	both	"	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	"	and	"	indiana	jones	and	the	temple	of	doom	.	"	there's	even	a	nod	to	"	the	blues	brothers	,	"	if	you	can	believe	it	,	and	the	filmmakers	even	get	in	a	little	light	hearted	ribbing	at	the	expense	of	their	star	voice	actor	,	taking	a	couple	of	very	subtle	jabs	at	mel	gibson's	nationality	and	film	history	.	the	"	braveheart	"	reference	is	a	hoot	if	you	catch	it	.	when	you	consider	just	how	fine	a	line	resides	between	a	funny	parody	and	a	redundant	one	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	downright	brilliant	in	its	execution	.	consider	this	:	since	july	of	last	year	,	i've	seen	dozens	upon	dozens	of	"	blair	witch	project	"	parodies	,	on	television	,	on	the	radio	,	and	online	.	out	of	all	those	,	maybe	one	or	two	were	amusing	,	the	rest	tiresome	.	why	?	because	once	you	got	past	the	thought	that	"	they're	parodying	that	'blair	witch'	movie	,	"	most	of	the	parodies	had	nothing	to	offer	no	insight	,	no	original	idea	,	no	greater	purpose	.	they	were	only	funny	if	you	had	seen	the	movie	;	otherwise	,	you	got	nothing	.	conversely	,	"	chicken	run	"	doesn't	lean	on	its	parodies	the	film	references	are	never	the	sole	focus	of	any	scene	.	if	you've	never	seen	"	indiana	jones	,	"	the	chase	sequence	is	still	fun	.	even	if	you	have	no	idea	who	mel	gibson	is	,	rocky	remains	an	interesting	character	.	park	,	lord	,	and	screenwriter	karey	kirkpatrick	realize	that	an	audience	does	not	need	a	parody	shoved	in	their	faces	before	it's	understood	,	and	as	a	result	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	filled	with	visual	and	verbal	jabs	that	are	never	too	obvious	,	but	not	quite	vague	either	.	enjoyment	of	this	movie	doesn't	require	knowledge	of	film	history	,	but	if	you've	got	it	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	that	much	richer	.	the	voice	cast	turns	in	uniformly	lively	performances	,	and	the	characters	they	play	are	given	so	many	subtle	nuances	that	it's	hard	not	to	fall	in	love	with	every	one	of	them	.	ginger	is	perfect	,	spunky	and	opinionated	,	but	with	a	soft	heart	that	forbids	her	to	leave	her	companions	behind	,	and	julia	sawalha	(	known	as	the	cute	mousy	girl	on	"	absolutely	fabulous	"	)	nails	it	.	she	has	warm	,	human	chemistry	with	gibson	,	whose	rocky	hides	his	personal	doubt	under	a	brash	gung	ho	veneer	.	the	characters'	inevitable	romance	doesn't	feel	contrived	,	but	sweet	.	poor	mr	.	tweedy	(	tony	haygarth	)	suspects	the	chickens	are	organizing	in	some	way	,	but	his	limited	intellect	prevents	him	from	figuring	things	out	,	and	his	overbearing	wife	certainly	isn't	any	help	.	jane	horrocks	delivers	a	lovely	voice	characterization	as	tragically	optimistic	babs	(	a	hen	that	runs	away	with	most	of	the	best	one	liners	,	all	while	perpetually	crocheting	a	sweater	)	,	and	two	supply	trading	rats	that	seem	to	have	walked	straight	out	of	a	monty	python	sketch	nearly	steal	the	show	during	the	lively	central	swing	dancing	sequence	.	they	even	come	up	with	an	inspired	riff	on	something	that's	baffled	scholars	and	theologians	alike	for	decades	:	the	chicken	vs	.	egg	dilemma	.	one	might	have	expected	this	inevitable	joke	to	come	off	as	wearisome	,	but	as	with	most	of	"	chicken	run	,	"	it	comes	as	a	delightful	surprise	.	the	film	manages	to	cross	all	barriers	;	it	should	be	accessible	to	both	children	and	adults	,	brits	and	yanks	,	rats	and	chickens	.	the	animation	is	first	rate	.	remember	that	this	was	all	done	the	old	fashioned	way	,	with	actual	humans	moving	clay	figurines	around	on	a	tiny	set	bit	by	painstaking	bit	,	and	you	see	just	how	truly	remarkable	"	chicken	run	"	really	is	.	this	movie	possesses	that	same	quality	that	makes	pixar	studios'	animation	great	:	precise	and	unwavering	attention	to	detail	.	as	in	such	top	notch	family	fare	as	"	a	bug's	life	"	or	"	toy	story	2	,	"	"	chicken	run	"	has	something	to	offer	in	nearly	every	frame	.	certainly	a	passive	viewer	can	enjoy	it	as	a	straightforward	story	with	a	worthwhile	moral	and	some	surprisingly	touching	scenes	,	but	a	active	,	attentive	viewers	will	enjoy	it	even	more	because	they'll	catch	all	the	details	.	anyway	,	the	movie's	just	a	boatload	of	fun	.	funnest	damn	movie	i've	seen	all	year	.
pos	blue	streak'	,	martin	lawrence's	newest	outing	and	first	appearance	without	a	big	name	star	by	his	side	(	life	,	bad	boys	)	,	may	be	cliched	and	formulaic	,	but	it	entertains	,	none	the	less	.	however	,	be	warned	that	if	you're	not	a	martin	lawrence	fan	you	should	stay	far	away	from	this	film	,	as	it	is	carried	almost	entirely	by	his	comic	antics	.	the	story	opens	with	a	gang	of	high	tech	thieves	led	by	miles	logan	breaking	into	what	appears	to	be	a	jewelry	store	.	the	robbery	has	just	been	completed	,	when	one	of	the	gang	pulls	a	double	cross	and	accidentally	alerts	the	police	.	miles	manages	to	secure	the	stolen	gem	in	an	air	duct	of	an	uncompleted	building	before	the	police	catch	him	.	two	years	later	,	released	from	prison	,	miles	goes	back	to	recover	his	prize	only	to	discover	that	the	building	is	now	a	police	station	.	what	is	the	most	obvious	solution	?	why	,	to	disguise	himself	as	a	cop	and	join	the	ranks	of	course	.	as	a	by	the	numbers	piece	of	film	making	,	it	is	fairly	easy	to	guess	the	outcome	of	this	movie	from	the	start	,	though	i	won't	reveal	it	here	.	in	fact	,	the	only	things	that	truly	make	this	worth	seeing	are	the	performances	by	martin	lawrence	and	luke	wilson	as	his	likable	,	yet	incredibly	naive	partner	.	lawrence's	talent	stems	mainly	from	his	exaggerated	speech	and	facial	expressions	,	and	he	puts	this	talent	to	good	use	here	.	just	watch	his	expressions	in	a	scene	in	which	a	dozen	or	so	cops	have	cornered	him	and	are	asking	what	his	opinion	is	about	some	new	piece	of	police	equipment	.	unfortunately	,	there	are	some	rather	large	problems	with	this	movie	in	addition	to	the	predictable	script	.	first	,	there	are	several	utterly	pointless	characters	such	as	melissa	green	,	a	defense	attorney	who	appears	in	only	three	or	four	scenes	,	and	is	apparently	present	only	so	the	audience	can	dislike	her	.	the	film's	largest	annoyance	comes	from	tulley	,	who	is	a	friend	of	logan's	from	the	jewel	heist	.	chappelle	has	such	a	whiny	,	obnoxious	voice	that	i	saw	several	people	in	the	audience	cringing	whenever	he	spoke	.	despite	these	problems	,	the	movie	is	a	lot	of	fun	,	and	lawrence	is	clearly	having	the	time	of	his	life	making	it	.	i	simply	hope	that	next	time	he	finds	a	more	original	script	to	house	his	rather	considerable	comic	talent	.	for	delivering	a	lot	of	chuckles	and	a	few	belly	laughs	,	i	give	blue	streak'	three	and	a	half	stars	and	a	recommendation	to	try	and	catch	a	matinee	.	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	e	mail	with	comments	at	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jabii	aol	.	com	"	jabii	aol	.	com	a
pos	it's	an	interesting	premise	.	our	reality	is	only	real	to	us	because	it	is	what	we	perceive	to	be	real	.	in	truth	,	our	entire	existences	are	lived	out	in	our	minds	as	we	are	fed	information	through	electronic	inputs	directly	to	our	brains	.	what	we	see	,	what	we	do	,	everything	around	us	is	nothing	more	than	a	computer	generated	construct	interlinked	with	the	minds	of	others	through	a	vastly	powerful	artificial	intelligence	.	our	bodies	,	severely	atrophied	,	are	kept	alive	for	the	sole	purpose	of	generating	heat	and	electrical	energy	for	a	dominating	order	of	machines	which	control	the	planet	.	the	sci	fi	realm	has	been	waiting	a	little	while	for	something	new	to	come	along	.	the	matrix	isn't	it	the	idea	of	a	war	between	man	and	a	sentient	computer	network	,	a	sham	world	,	the	ability	to	plug	one's	brain	into	a	computer	,	has	all	been	gleaned	from	such	sources	as	the	terminator	,	dark	city	,	and	a	few	star	trek	episodes	(	both	classic	and	next	generation	)	.	what	is	new	is	the	ability	to	weave	all	of	these	various	elements	together	and	succeed	in	producing	a	film	that	is	both	entertaining	as	well	as	thought	provoking	.	keanu	reeves	plays	a	computer	whiz	nicknamed	neo	,	who	is	plucked	out	of	the	artificial	world	(	known	as	the	matrix	)	by	a	group	of	renegade	humans	who	are	clandestinely	fighting	to	expose	the	fallacy	of	the	computer	generated	existence	and	free	humankind	from	the	oppression	of	the	machines	.	the	group's	leader	,	morpheus	(	laurence	fishburne	)	,	has	chosen	neo	because	he	believes	neo	is	"	the	one	"	who	is	destined	to	lead	the	attack	against	the	artificial	intelligence	.	from	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	we	are	kept	on	our	toes	trying	to	figure	things	out	.	this	,	in	a	lesser	movie	would	be	annoying	,	but	the	matrix	presents	itself	in	an	intelligent	manner	which	makes	the	puzzle	rather	interesting	and	even	fun	.	what	is	reality	?	what	is	a	sham	?	the	film	turns	our	very	perception	of	life	on	its	side	.	more	than	once	,	we	are	also	presented	with	the	question	of	whether	we	would	rather	know	the	harsh	truth	of	reality	,	or	live	a	life	of	relative	bliss	,	oblivious	to	the	true	nature	of	our	surroundings	.	as	viewers	,	this	is	intriguing	enough	,	so	imagine	what	it	would	be	like	for	neo	.	and	who	to	better	play	a	bewildered	person	than	keanu	reeves	?	reeves	,	whom	i've	never	really	cared	for	as	an	actor	,	is	competent	in	roles	which	require	a	lot	of	straightforwardness	,	and	little	subtlety	.	he	was	good	in	speed	,	for	example	,	but	laughably	poor	in	a	walk	in	the	clouds	.	neo	is	actually	one	of	those	roles	which	reeves	slips	into	rather	nicely	,	so	much	of	my	expectation	was	happily	for	naught	.	in	a	couple	of	places	,	the	script	even	capitalizes	upon	his	wooden	nature	,	and	this	is	a	heavy	credit	to	writers	directors	andy	and	larry	wachowski	.	i	mean	,	since	bill	and	ted's	excellent	adventure	,	what	movie	could	you	say	really	"	utilized	"	keanu	reeves	?	more	interesting	than	reeves	is	fishburne	,	who's	morpheus	nearly	runs	the	gamut	of	emotions	,	and	convincingly	so	.	very	surprising	for	a	sci	fi	movie	.	fishburne	also	maintains	a	certain	demeanor	about	himself	throughout	,	as	if	he	always	knows	what	to	expect	.	this	helps	to	further	the	aura	of	his	character's	proficiency	and	extensive	knowledge	.	hugo	weaving	as	agent	smith	,	one	of	the	artificial	intelligence's	anti	intruder	programs	,	is	also	good	playing	his	deadpan	,	no	nonsense	,	kick	ass	role	,	which	requires	him	to	show	emotion	at	the	appropriate	time	.	unfortunately	,	when	weaving	speaks	for	more	than	a	few	sentences	in	a	row	,	the	nature	of	his	character's	speech	pattern	becomes	a	little	more	laughable	than	impressive	.	carrie	anne	moss	plays	trinity	,	morpheus's	number	one	assistant	who	becomes	somewhat	of	a	love	interest	for	neo	.	although	her	character	is	somewhat	inconsistent	,	moss	nevertheless	delivers	an	above	par	performance	when	fishburne	isn't	in	the	picture	.	there	were	few	expenses	spared	when	it	comes	to	the	special	effects	.	many	methods	of	imagery	are	employed	,	from	modeling	to	bluescreen	to	computer	graphics	.	of	special	note	is	the	use	of	the	"	freeze	and	turn	"	effect	where	the	entire	scene	is	frozen	,	turned	,	then	continued	from	a	new	angle	.	this	is	accomplished	by	using	a	large	number	of	still	cameras	employed	in	a	semi	circle	,	with	motion	picture	cameras	placed	at	the	two	ends	.	the	motion	cameras	film	the	action	,	and	at	the	appropriate	moment	all	the	still	cameras	fire	at	once	.	place	each	still	image	in	a	film	sequence	and	you	get	a	nearly	seamless	transition	from	the	first	motion	camera	to	the	second	.	pretty	slick	.	the	matrix	drips	with	style	.	from	the	clothing	to	the	music	to	the	action	,	we're	watching	an	exaggerated	version	of	what	we're	used	to	.	much	of	it	seems	like	the	combination	of	two	genres	of	the	hong	kong	action	film	there's	a	lot	of	kung	fu	,	there's	a	lot	of	gunplay	.	when	a	character	is	letting	go	with	an	automatic	weapon	,	much	is	made	of	the	empty	cartridges	falling	to	the	floor	in	slow	motion	.	there's	also	the	element	of	the	japanese	action	cartoon	(	called	anime	by	aficionados	)	,	especially	in	the	way	the	sequences	are	filmed	in	sweeping	pans	and	emphasized	actions	through	special	effects	.	combined	,	it's	really	like	no	live	action	film	i	have	ever	seen	.	the	film	is	not	without	its	faults	.	some	of	the	scenes	and	ideas	are	"	borrowed	"	a	little	too	liberally	from	other	films	,	and	one	component	of	the	ending	is	decidedly	disappointing	.	some	of	the	lines	are	also	pretty	bad	in	one	instance	,	a	supporting	character	incorrectly	delivers	a	famous	saying	,	and	it	wasn't	meant	to	be	a	joke	.	however	,	these	shortcomings	detract	little	from	what	is	an	overall	solid	action	sci	fi	film	that	for	once	does	more	than	merely	entertain	.
pos	the	happy	bastard's	quick	movie	reviewfor	a	minute	there	,	i	thought	i	was	going	to	be	groaning	over	the	release	of	disney's	latest	,	another	adaptation	of	a	legend	from	the	past	.	(	remember	the	pathetic	pocahontas	?	yikes	!	)	but	guess	what	disney	,	a	company	that's	been	on	a	roll	lately	with	animated	films	,	strikes	again	with	another	wonderful	tale	that	pleases	the	eyes	as	well	as	the	inner	kid	in	you	.	the	story	is	pretty	basic	tarzan	is	left	orphaned	and	a	female	gorilla	who's	lost	her	young	adopts	him	into	her	group	.	as	he	matures	into	a	much	older	man	,	tarzan	still	wonders	just	why	he's	so	much	different	from	the	clan	,	and	then	arrives	a	hunter	,	a	professor	,	and	the	professor's	lovely	daughter	,	jane	who	meets	tarzan	rather	quickly	after	getting	in	trouble	with	a	group	of	feisty	babboons	.	from	there	,	tarzan	faces	tough	choices	should	he	stay	with	the	ones	that	he	grew	up	with	or	go	join	his	own	kind	in	england	?	the	voicework	here	is	pretty	top	level	.	tony	goldwyn	is	very	convincing	as	the	ape	man	;	minnie	driver	adds	a	delectable	touch	to	the	already	beautiful	jane	;	nigel	hawthorne	makes	for	a	pretty	nasty	hunter	voice	;	rosie	o'	donnell	keeps	the	laughs	rolling	as	tarzan's	best	ape	friend	terk	;	and	wayne	"	newman	"	knight	has	his	moments	as	a	panicky	elephant	.	the	movie	is	superb	throughout	,	mixing	a	great	script	with	incredible	computer	assisted	visuals	.	when	tarzan	tree	surfs	(	a	twist	that	was	added	on	top	of	the	same	ol'	vine	swinging	and	a	great	one	,	i	might	add	)	,	the	camera	twists	and	turns	,	allowing	the	trees	all	around	to	come	to	life	vividly	.	i	couldn't	believe	my	eyes	disney	has	come	a	long	way	since	starting	in	a	ballroom	for	beauty	and	the	beast	.	and	the	music's	not	half	bad	,	either	.	fortunately	,	there's	no	ridiculous	singing	characters	here	,	just	a	great	set	of	songs	by	phil	collins	that	perfectly	fit	the	mood	.	there's	some	great	action	sequences	here	as	well	,	including	a	wonderfully	done	chase	between	tarzan	,	jane	,	and	the	aforementioned	babboons	.	but	,	of	course	,	it's	not	all	action	there's	a	message	here	as	well	that	has	to	do	with	family	.	this	is	easily	one	of	disney's	best	animated	films	of	the	decade	and	it's	one	i	can't	wait	to	put	in	my	home	library	.	.	.	that	is	,	if	my	vcr	still	works	in	the	year	2000	.
pos	big	courtroom	thrillers	have	always	captivated	america	.	o	.	j	.	simpson	,	tom	capano	,	the	menendez	brothers	.	all	these	names	are	synonymous	to	americans	and	courtrooms	.	and	,	of	course	,	courtroom	dramas	are	not	a	new	topic	to	hollywood	.	whether	it	be	john	grisham's	thrilling	novels	or	television's	famous	dramas	,	the	courtroom	has	always	provided	big	bucks	.	so	when	i	rented	a	civil	action	,	i	was	expecting	the	film	to	be	like	the	rainmaker	,	a	brilliant	law	film	that	kept	viewers	on	the	edge	of	their	seat	.	however	,	what	i	saw	in	a	civil	action	was	far	different	from	what	i	expected	,	a	major	surprise	,	but	fortunately	,	a	pleasant	one	.	john	travolta	always	seems	to	come	up	big	when	you	least	expect	it	.	no	one	expected	him	to	light	up	the	screen	in	grease	,	nor	in	saturday	night	fever	.	but	,	whenever	he	gets	knocked	down	,	he	always	seems	to	come	back	fighting	.	a	civil	action	is	not	john's	best	performance	,	but	a	strong	one	that	could	rival	any	performance	in	1998	.	travolta	proves	that	a	normal	and	believable	performance	can	vault	a	film	into	oscar	nominations	.	his	performance	is	not	flashy	,	nor	memorable	,	just	solid	.	if	he	delivered	the	only	solid	performance	,	this	film	would	still	be	average	.	luckily	,	he	has	a	strong	supporting	cast	.	william	h	.	macy	is	probably	one	of	the	most	underrated	actors	in	hollywood	.	he	continues	to	deliver	great	performances	one	after	the	other	,	but	he	is	still	regarded	as	a	secondary	actor	.	in	a	civil	action	,	he	delivers	yet	another	great	performance	as	travolta's	paranoid	and	greedy	accountant	.	he	is	not	a	lovable	character	,	but	a	character	who	stands	out	in	your	mind	whenever	you	think	of	the	film	.	he	is	not	one	of	the	big	time	lawyers	,	just	a	measly	accountant	.	but	,	he	delivers	one	of	the	best	supporting	roles	of	1998	,	but	there	is	actually	someone	better	in	a	civil	action	.	robert	duvall	is	also	an	underrated	actor	.	he	gets	many	leading	roles	,	but	is	never	heard	when	you	hear	of	big	box	office	draws	like	tom	hanks	,	brad	pitt	and	jim	carrey	.	duvall	has	a	supporting	role	in	this	as	a	lawyer	of	the	co	defendant	.	duvall	is	magical	in	this	role	.	he	is	the	wise	teacher	,	who	not	only	battles	it	out	in	the	courtroom	,	but	also	manages	to	teach	every	major	player	a	lesson	,	in	his	own	twisted	way	.	in	many	non	comedic	films	,	directors	are	always	trying	to	find	a	way	to	implement	a	touch	of	comedy	,	to	keep	the	audience	on	their	toes	.	unfortunately	,	they	usually	just	key	in	on	one	character	whose	main	objective	is	to	be	funny	(	jar	jar	binks	,	anyone	?	)	.	however	,	this	usually	backfires	because	the	character	is	never	fully	developed	.	this	is	not	the	case	in	a	civil	action	.	they	have	comedy	coming	from	all	sides	.	whether	it	be	duvall's	inane	questions	or	macy's	sharp	anger	,	the	laughs	come	in	a	steady	pace	.	granted	,	it's	not	roll	in	the	aisle	funny	,	but	it	provides	a	nice	addition	to	the	film	.	the	plot	is	terrific	somewhat	.	the	setup	is	nice	with	the	film	actually	starting	with	a	victory	in	the	courtroom	.	then	the	case	that	will	make	or	break	jan	(	travolta	)	's	career	rears	its	ugly	head	.	they	find	out	the	goldmine	involved	with	the	case	and	wind	up	taking	it	.	however	,	budgets	soon	flounder	and	jan	finds	himself	in	deep	debt	.	i	will	not	spoil	the	rest	,	although	i	must	speak	of	the	one	downside	to	the	film	.	the	courtroom	debates	are	great	,	but	the	actual	problem	they	are	fighting	for	is	never	fully	explored	.	it	left	me	somewhat	confused	,	although	the	rest	of	the	film	is	terrific	.	all	in	all	,	john	travolta	is	back	yet	again	in	this	great	film	.	his	supporting	cast	,	consisting	of	macy	and	duvall	,	turn	in	tremendous	performances	,	which	ease	the	load	on	travolta	.	the	film	is	smart	,	witty	and	thought	provoking	.	not	only	does	it	gauge	in	court	battles	,	but	also	the	various	tolls	it	can	take	on	the	major	players	.	a	civil	action	provides	everything	a	drama	lover	craves	.
pos	release	date	:	january	15	,	1999	starring	:	sean	penn	,	adrien	brody	,	james	caviezel	,	ben	chaplin	,	elias	koteas	,	nick	nolte	,	john	cusack	,	woody	harrelson	,	john	travolta	,	george	clooney	directed	by	:	terrence	malick	distributed	by	:	20th	century	fox	film	corp	.	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	prolonged	sequences	of	war	violence	,	strong	language	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	thinredline	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	thinredline	.	htm	a	james	jones	,	one	of	the	major	novelists	from	the	middle	of	the	twentieth	century	,	has	written	a	number	of	fictional	works	about	the	effects	of	war	on	the	individual	.	a	veteran	of	world	war	ii	,	and	a	witness	to	the	pearl	harbor	bombings	,	his	novels	are	not	only	grounded	in	realism	but	poetic	in	nature	.	they	are	reminiscent	of	stephen	crane	in	their	blunt	eloquence	,	a	trait	which	lends	itself	to	razor	sharp	focus	.	but	perhaps	none	matches	the	scope	of	his	autobiographical	novel	,	the	thin	red	line	;	now	a	cinematic	masterpiece	from	director	terrence	malick	.	the	book's	principal	cast	,	some	thirty	characters	,	has	been	trimmed	down	for	this	rendition	,	but	it	still	retains	its	most	endearing	value	.	each	of	the	roles	has	an	everyman	quality	,	emphasizing	jones'	examination	of	world	war	ii	on	the	american	soldier	.	there's	a	definitive	chain	of	command	present	,	and	this	also	plays	on	the	motivations	of	the	cast	.	but	most	importantly	,	and	perhaps	intrinsic	to	the	novel	but	not	to	the	movie	,	a	dynamic	and	effective	voice	over	is	used	.	malick	has	several	characters	relating	their	thoughts	,	giving	the	viewer	a	greater	perspective	of	the	issues	at	stake	.	the	issues	at	stake	are	many	and	one	.	told	from	a	limited	third	person	perspective	(	as	opposed	to	a	top	down	,	omniscient	view	)	,	the	movie	entails	the	struggle	of	an	american	infantry	company	(	"	c	for	charlie	"	)	to	take	a	hill	during	the	conflict	at	guadalcanal	.	the	south	pacific	island	is	seen	by	the	top	brass	as	the	key	position	for	american	armed	forces	to	hold	if	they	want	to	win	the	war	.	and	want	to	win	the	war	they	do	.	in	an	excellent	performance	,	nick	nolte	plays	c	for	charlie's	commanding	officer	,	lt	.	col	.	gordon	tall	.	he's	an	aging	soldier	who	embodies	the	win	at	all	costs	mentality	,	if	only	to	impress	his	superior	(	john	travolta	,	in	a	questionable	cameo	)	.	this	philosophy	is	opposite	that	of	captain	bugger	staros	(	elias	koteas	)	,	who	dearly	values	the	life	of	each	and	every	one	of	the	men	under	his	command	.	at	the	front	are	the	privates	and	corporals	(	adrien	brody	,	james	caviezel	,	ben	chaplin	,	et	al	)	,	lead	by	1st	sgt	.	welsh	(	sean	penn	)	,	who	must	actually	execute	the	suicide	orders	handed	down	to	them	.	the	thin	red	line	is	filled	with	intense	,	visual	poetry	,	but	it's	nearly	three	hours	long	.	although	the	interest	level	is	high	throughout	the	first	two	hours	,	the	climax	comes	forty	five	minutes	before	the	end	of	the	movie	;	it	goes	without	saying	that	the	movie	drags	on	the	back	end	.	the	thin	red	line	will	doubtless	be	compared	to	1998's	other	masterpiece	of	war	,	saving	private	ryan	a	countless	number	of	times	.	but	to	do	so	is	to	belittle	both	films	,	for	although	similarities	abound	,	so	do	differences	.	director	malick	has	a	story	to	tell	,	and	for	those	interested	in	listening	,	this	can	be	a	very	outstanding	movie	.
pos	director	:	warren	beatty	screenplay	:	warren	beatty	and	jeremy	pikser	stars	:	warren	beatty	(	jay	billington	bulworth	)	,	halle	berry	(	nina	)	,	oliver	platt	(	dennis	murphy	)	,	don	cheadle	(	l	.	d	.	)	,	paul	sorvino	(	graham	crockett	)	,	jack	warden	(	eddie	davers	)	,	christine	baranski	(	constance	bulworth	)	,	joshua	malina	(	bill	feldman	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	warren	beatty's	"	bulworth	"	is	a	caustic	political	comedy	that	doesn't	attack	any	particular	political	group	,	but	rather	the	ingrained	insincerity	that	has	infected	the	american	political	system	.	some	might	think	this	film	is	vulgar	,	and	in	many	ways	it	is	.	however	,	as	loud	and	raucous	as	it	is	,	"	bulworth	"	speaks	the	truth	,	which	is	almost	always	ugly	to	hear	.	beatty	,	who	directed	the	film	and	co	wrote	the	script	with	jeremy	pikser	(	"	the	lemon	sisters	"	)	,	stars	as	incumbent	u	.	s	.	senator	jay	billington	bulworth	,	who	has	one	of	the	best	politician	names	in	cinema	history	.	bulworth	is	a	democrat	,	and	in	beatty's	view	,	he	is	symbolic	of	everything	that	has	gone	wrong	with	the	current	democratic	party	.	once	an	ideological	liberal	(	like	beatty	still	is	)	,	bulworth	has	long	since	succumbed	to	the	materialistic	pressures	of	washington	.	instead	of	waging	the	battles	for	the	impoverished	and	the	downtrodden	,	which	was	once	the	calling	card	of	democrats	,	bulworth	has	become	another	sell	out	money	hound	if	he's	not	accepting	illegal	bribes	from	the	insurance	lobby	or	taking	campaign	contributions	from	the	chinese	,	he's	making	wind	bag	speeches	that	start	with	the	amusingly	clintonesqe	statement	,	"	america	is	standing	on	the	doorstep	of	a	new	millennium	.	.	.	.	blah	,	blah	,	blah	.	"	when	the	film	opens	,	it	is	a	few	days	before	the	1996	primary	elections	,	and	bulworth	is	sitting	at	his	desk	weeping	because	he	realizes	how	corrupt	he	has	become	.	in	a	fit	of	desperation	,	he	takes	out	a	10	million	life	insurance	policy	from	a	dirty	insurance	rep	played	by	paul	sorvino	(	part	of	a	shady	lobby	deal	to	kill	a	threatening	bill	in	committee	)	,	and	then	hires	a	hit	man	to	kill	him	,	although	he	doesn't	know	who	the	assassin	will	be	,	or	when	the	hit	will	take	place	.	knowing	that	he	will	soon	be	dead	,	bulworth	unleashes	his	own	brand	of	political	rhetoric	on	the	world	,	which	is	made	up	of	politically	incorrect	truths	about	the	state	of	american	politics	and	the	society	in	general	.	at	a	compton	church	,	he	tells	the	group	of	african	americans	that	they	will	have	no	power	in	the	u	.	s	.	unless	they	"	put	down	that	malt	liquor	and	chicken	wings	,	and	get	behind	somebody	other	than	a	running	back	who	stabs	his	wife	.	"	later	,	in	a	particularly	hilarious	sequence	,	bulworth	mixes	with	the	hollywood	elite	,	then	insults	the	quality	of	their	movies	and	informs	them	that	the	only	reason	he's	there	is	because	"	my	guys	always	put	the	big	jews	on	my	schedule	.	"	all	throughout	this	physically	and	politically	suicidal	escapade	,	bulworth's	chief	of	staff	,	dennis	murphy	(	oliver	platt	)	,	follows	behind	in	a	state	of	constant	shock	and	bewilderment	.	platt	has	some	of	the	movie's	funniest	scenes	,	as	he	makes	murphy	into	a	politically	savvy	but	nonetheless	clueless	assistant	who	is	forced	to	watch	his	own	career	teeter	at	the	brink	of	being	flushed	down	the	toilet	.	his	constant	half	truth	telling	and	spin	doctoring	to	cover	bulworth's	stampede	is	equaled	in	its	perversion	only	by	a	self	righteous	reporter	(	nora	dunn	)	who	acts	like	murphy's	refusal	to	explain	bulworth's	actions	(	something	he	really	cannot	do	)	is	somehow	an	act	of	treason	.	when	bulworth	decides	he	wants	to	live	after	all	,	and	therefore	must	constantly	evade	a	grim	looking	assassin	to	be	who's	trailing	him	at	every	turn	,	he	hides	out	in	the	ghetto	,	complete	with	a	stereotypical	gangsta	wardrobe	which	he	wears	to	one	of	his	television	interviews	.	at	this	point	,	beatty	abandons	much	of	the	political	aspect	and	dives	into	a	cartoonish	exploration	of	the	black	inner	city	experience	.	bulworth	becomes	friendly	with	a	young	black	woman	named	nina	(	halle	berry	)	,	who	he	meets	at	the	harlem	church	rally	.	she	has	a	tough	talking	brother	who	is	deep	in	debt	to	a	local	gangster	named	l	.	d	.	(	don	cheadle	of	"	boogie	nights	"	)	,	who	also	becomes	involved	in	bulworth's	campaign	.	some	of	the	scenes	in	the	ghetto	ring	true	,	but	much	of	it	feels	like	a	lighter	version	of	scenes	depicted	in	more	intense	inner	city	films	like	"	boyz'n'hood	"	(	1991	)	and	"	menace	ii	society	"	(	1993	)	.	"	bulworth's	"	chief	liability	is	beatty's	insistence	on	having	his	character	adopt	a	clumsy	style	of	rap	as	his	new	communication	device	.	instead	of	speaking	at	political	rallies	,	he	breaks	into	a	kind	of	rhythmless	rap	style	that	is	a	reminder	of	why	almost	all	hip	hop	stars	are	black	.	it's	hard	to	tell	whether	beatty	is	being	humorous	by	being	so	bad	,	or	whether	he's	actually	that	incompetent	.	at	any	rate	,	the	rap	sounds	more	run	d	.	m	.	c	.	than	snoop	doggy	dogg	,	which	makes	the	film	seem	dated	instead	of	contemporary	.	beatty	would	have	been	better	off	simply	adopting	some	of	the	inner	city	lingo	and	working	that	into	his	speeches	,	instead	of	trying	to	sound	like	l	.	l	.	cool	j	.	other	than	that	,	"	bulworth	"	hits	all	its	targets	with	wry	,	hilarious	accuracy	.	the	film	is	like	a	letter	bomb	to	the	democratic	party	,	and	even	if	you	don't	agree	with	beatty's	liberal	message	about	the	unrequited	duties	of	the	federal	government	,	it	is	hard	to	deny	the	impact	the	film	has	in	exploring	the	monetary	and	moral	debauchery	that	infests	modern	politics	.	unlike	"	primary	colors	"	which	opened	earlier	this	year	,	"	bulworth	"	doesn't	try	to	tip	toe	around	the	truly	painful	issues	that	hit	close	to	home	instead	,	it	takes	them	dead	on	.
pos	indie	filmmaker	marcus	van	bavel	may	not	have	a	knack	for	catchy	titles	,	but	he	certainly	has	a	flair	for	spoofing	the	big	budget	spy	genre	on	what	must	have	been	a	low	six	figure	budget	.	redboy	13	pays	homage	to	dr	.	strangelove	,	full	metal	jacket	,	dirty	harry	,	mission	:	impossible	,	rambo	,	and	,	most	importantly	,	the	james	bond	films	.	hell	,	if	it	wasn't	for	austin	powers	,	redboy	13	would	be	the	first	real	spy	spoof	to	come	along	in	a	while	.	especially	considering	its	humble	origins	in	the	backwoods	of	texas	,	it's	a	damn	good	one	.	er	.	.	.	a	gosh	darn	good	one	,	as	colonel	calcan	(	logan	)	would	say	.	set	in	the	waning	days	of	the	cold	war	,	redboy	13	is	the	story	of	a	13	year	old	boy	(	roy	brown	)	who	is	trained	to	be	a	top	agent	for	a	splinter	group	of	the	u	.	s	.	government	called	the	c	.	y	.	a	.	under	the	supervision	of	calcan	,	redboy	is	sent	to	central	america	to	overthrow	a	military	regime	.	.	.	when	he	returns	,	he'll	be	"	the	biggest	hero	since	ollie	north	.	"	there's	even	a	big	bondian	opening	credits	sequence	with	silhouettes	,	grandiose	vocalizing	,	etc	.	redboy	13	plays	it	straight	all	the	way	,	with	the	exception	of	van	bavel's	appearance	(	s	)	in	the	film	as	three	supporting	characters	,	a	la	peter	sellers	in	strangelove	(	one	of	the	characters	is	even	a	wheelchair	bound	mad	scientist	whose	allegiance	is	with	nazi	germany	)	.	in	fact	,	if	van	bavel	didn't	look	so	frighteningly	like	shock	filmmaker	john	waters	,	one	might	be	tempted	to	take	redboy	at	face	value	.	tempted	,	but	impossible	.	a	darling	of	the	festival	circuit	,	redboy	13	is	shot	in	35mm	cinemascope	,	has	dozens	of	computer	generated	effects	(	they	look	kinda	cheesy	,	but	hey	,	this	is	an	indie	pic	)	,	and	only	really	suffers	during	some	hammy	acting	that	wanders	into	leslie	nielsen	territory	a	few	times	.	but	in	the	end	,	van	bavel's	assured	technical	direction	and	clever	photography	make	redboy	imminently	watchable	.
pos	what	surprises	me	most	about	the	long	awaited	batman	is	that	the	movie	centers	not	on	the	caped	crusader	but	on	the	joker	.	the	dark	knight	actually	has	less	screen	time	than	his	homicidal	arch	nemesis	!	i	can	hear	batfans	everywhere	protesting	:	"	first	they	had	the	nerve	to	cast	michael	keaton	as	batman	,	and	now	they	think	they	can	get	away	with	making	him	second	banana	to	the	joker	!	!	"	and	,	indeed	,	this	situation	would	have	been	altogether	inappropriate	and	intolerable	were	it	not	for	the	fact	that	someone	at	warner	brothers	had	the	savvy	to	cast	jack	nicholson	in	the	role	he	was	born	to	play	.	nicholson	deserves	the	top	billing	he	is	receiving	in	the	posters	and	opening	credits	since	his	astounding	,	oscar	worthy	performance	as	the	joker	is	the	highlight	of	batman	.	nicholson	shows	no	inhibition	or	shame	as	he	pulls	out	all	the	stops	to	create	a	joker	that	makes	cesar	romero	look	like	bozo	the	clown	(	romero	played	the	joker	in	the	'60s	tv	series	)	.	on	one	hand	,	nicholson's	joker	is	extremely	funny	.	his	murderous	escapades	and	manic	outbursts	(	which	include	defacing	paintings	in	an	art	museum	and	invading	the	television	airwaves	with	hilarious	pirate	broadcasts	)	bring	humor	and	laughter	into	an	otherwise	dark	film	.	but	on	the	other	hand	,	his	outwardly	jovial	disposition	is	only	a	mask	for	his	intense	contempt	for	all	of	mankind	.	the	joker's	cruelty	and	demented	,	diabolical	nature	are	truly	frightening	and	sinister	.	this	guy	is	off	his	rocker	,	and	he	not	only	knows	it	,	he	flaunts	it	!	but	enough	about	nicholson	as	the	joker	:	i'm	sure	most	people	are	wondering	about	michael	keaton	as	batman	.	like	many	,	i	was	outraged	when	warner	brothers	announced	that	keaton	had	been	cast	as	the	caped	crusader	.	but	batfans	need	not	worry	because	holy	unconventional	casting	!	keaton	delivers	.	he	is	convincing	as	the	tormented	millionaire	,	bruce	wayne	,	and	beneath	his	hard	,	black	body	armor	,	he	is	mysterious	and	formidable	as	the	batman	.	even	though	the	screenplay	only	halfheartedly	attempts	to	develop	the	character	,	keaton	manages	to	give	hints	of	the	inner	turmoil	and	emotional	rage	that	drive	wayne	to	don	his	bat	gear	and	battle	the	low	life	scum	of	gotham	city	.	visually	,	batman	is	a	knockout	nothing	short	of	a	triumph	for	director	tim	burton	and	his	production	team	.	the	movie	successfully	captures	the	film	noir	look	and	bleak	,	gloomy	atmosphere	of	such	batman	comic	books	as	"	the	dark	knight	returns	"	and	"	the	killing	joke	.	"	burton's	film	is	a	feast	for	the	eyes	;	the	35	million	budget	is	definitely	on	the	screen	.	the	sets	,	costumes	,	and	make	up	are	stunning	and	worthy	of	oscar	nominations	.	nicholson	isn't	joking	when	he	boasts	,	"	wait	'till	they	get	a	load	of	me	!	"	his	grimacing	smile	,	green	hair	,	and	purple	suits	over	orange	shirts	are	colorful	and	outrageous	.	keaton's	wardrobe	is	equally	appropriate	.	batman's	cape	,	mask	,	and	body	armor	make	him	look	threatening	,	frightening	,	and	invincible	bringing	to	mind	not	adam	west's	campy	costume	in	the	tv	series	but	peter	weir's	outfit	in	robocop	.	production	designer	anton	furst's	sets	are	a	wonder	.	gotham	city	is	dark	and	foreboding	,	almost	as	if	it	were	an	expressionist	vision	of	new	york	.	the	batcave	is	cold	,	bare	,	and	desolate	.	the	world	that	burton	and	furst	have	created	in	batman	is	a	melancholy	nightmare	of	violence	and	corruption	.	the	movie's	gritty	bladerunner	robocop	look	is	a	joy	to	behold	.	the	plot	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	not	as	rousing	.	the	screenplay	is	not	up	to	snuff	in	comparison	to	the	stylized	sets	and	superb	acting	.	it	takes	forever	for	what	little	story	there	is	to	finally	kick	into	gear	.	batman	tries	to	walk	a	thin	line	between	action	and	character	psychology	,	but	it	fails	to	give	us	enough	of	either	one	.	as	i	mentioned	earlier	,	the	screenplay	gives	us	plenty	of	the	joker	,	but	it	never	fully	establishes	batman's	psychological	motives	and	underpinnings	.	in	terms	of	action	,	batman	is	not	as	thrilling	as	you	might	expect	.	burton	seems	more	concerned	with	the	visual	and	dramatic	elements	of	the	story	.	more	than	anything	,	batman	is	a	mood	film	.	while	batman	may	not	completely	absorb	and	excite	you	,	it	will	likely	impress	you	with	its	success	at	bringing	to	life	the	style	and	spirit	of	the	batman	comic	books	.	thanks	to	its	distinctive	look	,	the	movie	like	a	good	comic	book	transports	us	to	another	world	.
pos	director	:	jonathan	frakes	cast	:	patrick	stewart	,	jonathan	frakes	,	brent	spiner	,	levar	burton	,	michael	dorn	,	gates	mcfadden	,	marina	sirtis	,	f	.	murray	abraham	screenplay	:	rick	berman	,	michael	piller	producers	:	rick	berman	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	paramount	rated	pg	:	action	violence	,	mild	language	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonone	can	not	observe	a	star	trek	movie	and	expect	to	see	serious	science	fiction	.	the	purpose	of	star	trek	is	to	provide	flashy	,	innocent	fun	.	sometimes	the	stories	are	compelling	.	sometimes	they're	not	.	but	,	with	the	exception	of	the	first	film	in	the	series	(	which	provides	little	more	than	endless	shots	of	amazed	faces	)	,	i've	never	been	bored	by	any	of	the	enterprise's	numerous	missions	.	star	trek	:	insurrection	is	no	exception	.	the	film	has	gotten	some	negative	reviews	(	a	friend	of	mine	actually	thinks	it's	the	worst	in	the	series	)	,	but	i'm	not	really	sure	why	.	it's	an	exciting	,	often	hilarious	movie	that	engaged	me	and	left	me	ready	for	the	next	star	trek	film	.	some	say	it's	a	bit	too	light	,	and	more	of	a	long	episode	than	a	film	.	others	say	the	special	effects	are	cheesy	and	that	it's	boring	.	i	simply	enjoyed	the	film	.	insurrection	,	which	is	the	second	film	to	feature	strictly	the	next	generation	cast	,	introduces	us	to	a	race	of	people	called	the	ba'ku	;	the	ba'ku	are	very	old	(	most	of	them	are	about	three	hundred	years	old	)	,	but	they	actually	appear	younger	with	age	due	to	strange	radiation	in	the	rings	of	their	planet	.	of	course	,	these	peaceful	people	can't	horde	this	fountain	of	youth	all	for	themselves	leave	it	up	to	their	archenemies	,	the	son'a	,	led	by	ru'afo	(	f	.	murray	abraham	)	,	to	mess	everything	up	.	the	son'a	,	who	are	horribly	disfigured	and	rely	on	daily	reconstructive	surgery	to	be	aesthetically	acceptable	,	strike	a	deal	with	the	federation	to	move	the	ba'ku	elsewhere	and	exploit	the	secret	to	keep	their	race	from	dying	.	that's	when	captain	picard	(	patrick	stewart	)	steps	in	:	he	realizes	that	moving	the	ba'ku	would	kill	them	(	it	also	helps	that	he	falls	in	love	with	a	ba'ku	woman	(	donna	murphy	)	)	.	so	,	with	his	trusty	crew	,	picard	defies	the	federation	to	keep	the	ba'ku	in	their	natural	habitat	.	when	dealing	with	a	series	with	as	much	history	as	this	,	it's	not	entirely	necessary	to	re	introduce	your	characters	with	each	episode	.	this	is	why	i	believe	non	fans	have	a	hard	time	getting	into	star	trek	;	in	order	to	enjoy	it	,	one	has	to	understand	how	to	approach	it	.	insurrection	,	however	,	does	a	surprisingly	good	job	of	us	new	aspects	of	the	characters	.	stewart	is	bold	as	always	,	a	magnetic	screen	presence	and	perfectly	capable	of	holding	an	entire	film	together	.	jonathan	frakes	,	who	also	directed	,	is	funny	as	commander	riker	;	a	subplot	with	data	(	brent	spiner	)	discovering	his	lost	childhood	is	fairly	interesting	;	and	abraham	makes	a	perfect	star	trek	villain	,	overacting	like	crazy	.	frakes	showed	similar	aptitude	for	direction	in	first	contact	;	insurrection	is	an	exciting	film	,	with	some	really	attractive	special	effects	and	a	lot	of	good	action	.	this	is	apparently	the	first	star	trek	film	to	utilize	computer	animation	,	and	the	result	is	very	pleasing	to	the	eye	:	particularly	in	the	climactic	scenes	,	in	which	the	son'a	employ	a	giant	space	ship	to	suck	up	the	rings	of	the	ba'ku	planet	,	the	special	effects	have	a	clean	,	impressively	sharp	look	.	if	i	have	any	complaint	about	the	film	,	it's	that	it	tries	to	take	a	moral	stance	when	it's	not	very	appropriate	to	do	so	.	i	don't	think	it's	that	big	of	a	deal	that	the	federation	wanted	to	move	600	ba'ku	in	order	to	save	the	lives	of	thousands	.	better	yet	,	why	couldn't	they	have	co	existed	?	insurrection	feels	a	little	to	light	to	spring	these	kinds	of	big	moral	questions	on	the	audience	.	with	it's	inherent	camp	factor	,	the	star	trek	series	doesn't	seem	well	equipped	to	deal	with	issues	like	this	.	i	prefer	to	just	enjoy	the	spectacle	.
pos	starring	the	voices	of	:	kevin	conroy	(	bruce	wayne	batman	)	,	michael	ansara	(	mr	.	freeze	)	,	loren	lester	(	dick	grayson	robin	)	,	mary	kay	bergman	well	,	i'm	.	.	.	fairly	sure	it	was	her	(	barbara	gordon	batgirl	)	,	george	dzunda	(	dr	.	robert	belson	)	,	efrem	zimbalist	jr	.	(	alfred	pennyworth	)	,	bob	hastings	(	commissioner	gordon	)	not	rated	(	but	it's	probably	a	pg	,	just	like	the	last	animated	batman	film	was	)	that	having	been	said	,	let	it	be	known	that	possibly	the	greatest	interpretation	of	batman	to	hit	tv	or	movie	screens	is	the	animated	bat	that	first	appeared	in	the	fall	of	1992	on	fox	.	it	quickly	became	a	prime	time	series	before	hitting	the	big	time	an	animated	theatrical	release	film	.	that	was	batman	:	mask	of	the	phantasm	(	1993	)	.	clearly	,	it	was	and	still	is	the	best	batman	film	to	yet	hit	theaters	.	the	plot	was	intelligent	,	the	action	loud	and	exciting	,	the	voice	acting	perfect	,	and	the	score	beautiful	.	as	of	this	year	,	on	tv	,	batman	has	moved	his	animated	adventures	to	the	wb	network	.	characters	have	grown	,	and	,	most	noticably	,	design	styles	for	many	of	the	characters	have	changed	mostly	for	the	worse	.	as	a	result	,	for	both	those	who	watch	the	series	,	and	those	casual	bat	fans	who	have	only	seen	the	first	animated	film	,	this	second	animated	feature	(	which	has	gone	straight	to	video	)	,	batman	mr	.	freeze	:	subzero	,	is	like	reuniting	with	an	old	friend	.	the	film	tells	a	story	that	takes	place	before	the	current	season	of	the	show	and	after	the	final	season	on	fox	,	so	the	character	designs	the	like	are	all	in	line	with	those	of	the	earlier	part	of	the	series	.	only	better	animated	than	usually	seen	on	the	show	.	this	is	a	level	of	animation	slightly	under	that	seen	in	batman	:	mask	of	the	phantasm	but	still	slightly	higher	than	that	seen	on	the	tv	series	.	one	thing	this	movie	does	have	other	mask	of	the	phantasm	is	more	use	of	computer	animation	.	there's	a	cg	submarine	,	batwing	,	and	highway	scene	for	your	viewing	pleasure	,	and	all	of	them	look	very	nice	.	of	course	,	animation	comes	secondary	to	plot	.	plot	,	action	,	dialogue	,	and	of	course	,	acting	are	what	drive	a	film	.	well	,	on	the	old	batman	scale	,	subzero	is	not	quite	as	good	as	phantasm	was	,	and	maybe	not	even	as	good	as	the	first	two	tim	burton	live	action	films	,	though	that	could	be	debated	.	it's	certainly	much	better	than	the	last	two	joel	schumacher	films	and	it's	truer	to	the	characters	than	any	of	the	live	action	films	to	date	.	the	plot	goes	that	mr	.	freeze's	wife	,	nora	fries	,	still	in	cryo	sleep	,	has	her	stasis	tube	broken	open	in	an	accident	.	now	freeze	knows	that	the	only	thing	that	can	save	her	is	an	organ	transplant	.	he	enlists	the	help	of	dr	.	belson	,	and	,	when	no	deceased	donors	of	nora's	rare	blood	type	are	found	,	freeze	decides	that	he	will	use	a	live	donor	which	of	course	,	will	kill	said	donor	.	there's	18	live	donors	of	nora's	blood	type	in	gotham	.	and	one	of	them	is	barbara	gordon	.	luckily	,	barbara	only	appears	in	batgirl	garb	for	about	one	minute	near	the	beginning	of	the	movie	,	and	stays	out	of	costume	for	the	rest	while	batman	and	robin	try	to	save	her	and	she	tries	to	save	herself	.	the	whole	thing	is	better	animated	than	most	of	the	non	disney	stuff	you	see	(	well	,	those	big	time	other	studio	releases	like	anastasia	1997	not	withstanding	,	i	guess	)	and	has	that	same	simple	yet	beautiful	character	design	of	the	max	fleischer	superman	cartoons	from	the	days	of	yore	.	all	the	characters	are	well	done	.	of	course	batman	is	cool	,	but	wow	,	so	are	robin	and	barbara	.	now	that's	a	feat	.	belson	is	interesting	,	and	mr	.	freeze	is	cold	and	emotionless	,	as	he	should	be	,	thanks	to	ansara	(	i	promise	he's	not	at	all	jokey	,	like	schwarzenegger	)	,	and	overall	,	i	assure	you	,	this	is	a	much	better	experience	than	that	schumacher	piece	of	crap	batman	robin	(	1997	)	that	had	many	of	the	same	characters	.	in	all	,	though	it	runs	a	too	short	67	minutes	,	and	yes	,	it	has	appearances	by	batgirl	and	robin	(	come	on	,	you	know	that	robin	isn't	always	a	bad	character	)	,	this	is	still	definitely	worth	a	rent	.	.	.	and	if	you're	a	big	batfan	.	.	.	it's	worth	a	purchase	.	watch	it	,	then	rewind	,	and	enjoy	it	again	.	hey	wb	.	.	.	you	want	a	good	batman	film	to	add	to	your	live	action	franchise	?	why	not	put	paul	dini	and	bruce	timm	in	charge	?	!
pos	release	date	:	september	18	,	1998	starring	:	jackie	chan	,	chris	tucker	,	tom	wilkinson	,	elizabeth	pena	,	tzi	ma	,	julia	hsu	directed	by	:	brett	ratner	distributed	by	:	new	line	cinema	mpaa	rating	:	pg	13	(	sequences	of	action	violence	and	shootings	,	language	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	rushhour	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	rushhour	.	htm	a	it's	no	secret	in	the	motion	picture	industry	that	the	relationship	between	a	script	and	the	actors	involved	often	makes	or	breaks	a	movie	at	the	box	office	.	a	poorly	written	script	can	be	bested	by	a	superb	acting	corps	,	and	a	well	written	piece	can	be	mangled	by	a	group	of	amateurs	.	in	directing	his	latest	action	comedy	,	director	brett	ratner	(	money	talks	)	takes	a	relatively	mediocre	piece	of	standup	comedy	and	turns	it	into	a	funny	as	all	get	out	buddy	cop	movie	.	in	addition	,	rush	hour	serves	as	a	first	class	example	of	directing	a	movie	with	conservative	attitude	a	feature	that	is	sure	to	draw	in	crowds	of	all	types	.	the	two	lead	names	share	equal	screen	time	here	,	mostly	because	they	spend	it	together	.	jackie	chan	,	in	his	first	completely	american	production	,	makes	an	impressive	debut	by	mixing	dialogue	with	martial	arts	.	the	other	martial	arts	flick	from	a	few	weeks	ago	,	knock	off	,	stands	no	chance	against	the	content	of	this	one	.	chan	manages	to	make	every	fight	scene	exude	grace	and	poise	,	and	there's	no	doubt	that	a	large	percentage	of	video	sales	for	this	movie	will	come	from	viewers	who	couldn't	believe	their	eyes	the	first	time	.	chris	tucker	,	on	the	opposite	side	,	relates	a	hilarious	comedic	approach	which	smoothes	out	the	rough	edges	to	chan's	performance	.	he	works	perfectly	with	the	script	,	and	it's	quite	likely	he	lent	scribe	jim	kouf	a	hand	with	some	of	his	lines	.	almost	essential	to	the	action	genre	,	the	plot	is	nonexistent	.	we're	quickly	introduced	to	detective	james	carter	(	tucker	)	is	a	maverick	officer	for	the	lapd	.	cut	forward	to	another	scene	where	the	daughter	(	julia	hsu	)	of	the	american	chinese	consul	(	tzi	ma	)	is	kidnapped	by	a	gang	of	swarthy	characters	.	the	fbi	is	quick	to	the	rescue	,	but	the	consul	insists	that	one	of	his	men	,	detective	inspector	lee	(	chan	)	,	be	brought	on	the	case	to	help	.	the	fbi	resists	,	but	then	requests	that	lapd	send	a	man	over	to	babysit	the	chinese	detective	.	it's	here	that	carter	and	lee	hook	up	,	and	the	two	unwittingly	solve	the	case	while	the	fbi	rushes	in	to	back	them	up	.	rattner	does	a	fine	job	of	going	the	extra	mile	to	get	his	movie	to	move	a	step	up	,	but	it	doesn't	quite	reach	the	top	tier	of	action	comedies	like	last	year's	grosse	pointe	blank	.	there	are	moments	where	the	plot	strays	too	far	off	the	straight	line	it	sticks	almost	exclusively	to	,	and	if	not	for	the	comedic	interactions	between	tucker	and	chan	,	this	might	be	a	major	drawback	.	also	,	some	supporting	characters	are	almost	entirely	along	for	the	ride	,	and	others	are	there	simply	to	look	menacing	.	however	,	none	gives	a	standoffish	performance	and	they	mostly	mesh	into	the	background	.	almost	every	member	of	the	cast	displays	some	reservation	at	one	point	or	another	whether	it's	tucker's	toned	down	routine	or	chan's	tight	rein	on	his	action	sequences	and	that	contributes	greatly	to	this	being	a	watchable	movie	for	all	types	.	a	recommendable	visit	to	the	theater	,	indeed	.
pos	i	rented	this	movie	with	very	high	hopes	.	this	movie	got	praise	as	one	of	the	best	films	of	1998	,	and	unfortunately	,	was	not	as	good	as	i	hoped	,	but	was	still	very	intriguing	and	thought	provoking	.	first	of	all	,	the	casting	for	this	film	is	great	.	tobey	maguire	and	reese	witherspoon	are	the	future	of	hollywood	.	they	play	their	roles	as	the	parker	brother	and	sister	perfectly	.	with	a	plot	as	unbelievable	as	this	film	,	you	need	chemistry	and	honest	acting	from	your	cast	.	tobey	and	reese	(	bud	and	mary	sue	parker	)	play	their	roles	perfectly	and	display	their	characters	with	honesty	and	believability	.	william	h	.	macy	,	an	actor	i	have	grown	to	love	over	the	past	year	,	turns	in	another	great	performance	as	the	tv	dad	who	is	torn	over	his	wife	,	a	"	colored	"	person	and	his	friends	,	the	"	non	colored	"	ones	.	he	also	displays	believability	and	must	display	a	certain	lack	of	chemistry	with	his	wife	.	he	does	this	perfectly	and	yet	again	shows	why	he	should	be	one	of	the	top	actors	in	hollywood	.	joan	allen	is	equally	great	as	betty	parker	,	the	ideal	tv	mom	.	her	character	is	the	most	ambitious	.	she	is	very	nave	,	and	must	display	this	well	to	make	her	character	believable	and	she	does	just	that	.	her	lack	of	chemistry	with	macy	,	which	the	role	calls	for	,	and	her	developed	chemistry	with	jeff	daniels	is	terrific	,	and	if	daniels	would	have	been	as	stellar	as	the	rest	of	the	cast	,	then	this	film	would	even	been	even	better	.	as	said	before	,	jeff	daniels	gives	a	bad	performance	.	his	character	displays	the	change	going	on	throughout	the	town	,	yet	he	does	not	display	it	with	enough	conviction	.	his	character	is	very	confusing	and	he	is	not	very	believable	.	this	film	could	have	been	elevated	to	a	whole	new	level	had	daniels	been	able	to	give	a	better	performance	.	the	movie	is	very	provocative	.	it	challenges	the	issues	of	racism	that	existed	in	the	past	and	that	still	exist	today	.	i	really	was	not	expecting	all	of	the	elements	they	brought	up	,	but	they	pulled	them	off	with	such	flair	that	it	was	mind	blowing	.	they	demonstrate	the	racism	issue	without	a	hitch	,	but	do	it	in	a	slow	pace	.	the	only	major	flaw	in	the	film	besides	the	performance	by	daniels	is	length	.	some	films	are	not	meant	to	be	that	long	.	pleasantville	is	one	of	those	films	.	this	film	could	have	been	so	much	better	had	they	not	moved	so	slowly	to	it	.	first	,	they	are	amazed	by	the	implementation	of	color	.	then	they	want	to	have	it	.	then	they	do	not	want	to	.	then	the	war	ensues	between	the	colored	and	non	colored	.	this	is	all	strung	out	over	two	hours	,	which	was	way	too	long	.	some	movies	need	a	lot	of	time	.	saving	private	ryan	was	a	little	bit	under	three	hours	long	and	i	thought	it	could	have	used	more	time	.	this	film	is	only	two	hours	long	,	and	seems	much	longer	.	length	is	everything	in	films	.	if	you	can	nail	down	the	perfect	timing	and	pace	,	you	can	win	half	the	battle	.	pleasantville	can	move	at	a	good	pace	at	times	,	but	it	is	not	consistent	enough	.	overall	,	pleasantville	is	a	very	pleasant	and	provocative	departure	from	the	predictability	of	most	films	these	days	.	i	went	in	expecting	a	light	hearted	film	about	change	.	i	left	learning	an	important	lesson	about	racism	and	the	way	things	change	.	luckily	,	pleasantville	teaches	this	lesson	in	such	a	way	to	make	it	appeal	to	all	audiences	.	only	if	it	could	have	done	in	a	shorter	amount	of	time	.
pos	release	date	:	december	18	,	1998	the	voices	of	:	val	kilmer	,	ralph	fiennes	,	sandra	bullock	,	jeff	goldblum	,	danny	glover	,	michelle	pfeiffer	,	patrick	stewart	,	steve	martin	,	martin	short	,	helen	mirren	directed	by	:	brenda	chapman	,	steve	hickner	,	simon	wells	distributed	by	:	dreamworks	pictures	mpaa	rating	:	pg	(	intense	depiction	of	thematic	elements	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	prince	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	prince	.	htm	a	near	the	end	of	1996	,	analysts	remarked	that	the	year	would	be	the	last	in	which	disney	would	stand	alone	as	the	animation	king	.	the	following	year	,	1997	,	saw	the	first	sleeper	entry	into	the	genre	from	a	studio	other	than	the	magic	kingdom	:	twentieth	century	fox	gave	baronial	russia	to	the	masses	in	the	form	of	anastasia	.	at	best	,	that's	all	it	was	a	sleeper	hit	,	designed	to	surprise	but	not	shake	the	industry	.	in	1998	,	however	,	things	have	been	decidedly	different	.	there	have	been	a	number	of	pushes	on	disney's	death	grip	on	the	market	,	and	fifty	one	weeks	into	'98	,	a	new	champion	has	emerged	.	dreamworks'	the	prince	of	egypt	succeeds	where	all	of	the	other	conventionally	animated	products	have	failed	.	the	other	two	contenders	,	warner	brothers'	quest	for	camelot	and	disney's	own	annual	entry	,	mulan	,	lacked	inspiration	and	drive	respectively	.	although	camelot	was	borderline	abysmal	,	and	can't	really	be	considered	a	shot	at	the	title	,	mulan	had	the	makings	of	winner	.	unfortunately	,	it	was	saturated	with	traditional	,	disney	cute	animation	,	and	lost	points	against	the	rapidly	changing	face	of	the	competition	.	in	making	the	prince	of	egypt	,	dreamworks	has	strayed	from	all	of	these	hallmarks	and	created	a	genuinely	unique	product	.	the	animation	is	flawless	,	and	,	aside	from	a	bug's	life	,	is	the	best	looking	movie	to	date	.	the	animators	have	nimbly	mixed	both	flat	and	spatial	effects	,	and	the	2d	3d	combination	is	something	that	artists	from	disney	and	fox	have	heretofore	struggled	with	.	the	key	to	success	,	however	,	was	that	the	visuals	were	used	not	just	because	they	looked	cool	but	also	as	a	method	of	advancing	the	plot	.	namely	,	some	of	the	most	important	action	sequences	(	like	the	parting	of	the	red	sea	)	were	done	almost	entirely	in	3d	.	dreamworks	is	the	first	studio	to	prove	that	they've	got	the	stuff	of	success	,	and	that	they're	capable	of	challenging	disney	.	the	story	is	also	well	written	,	and	the	characters	voiced	with	talent	.	for	the	most	part	,	the	plot	follows	its	source	material	the	book	of	exodus	although	only	in	the	most	general	sense	.	the	writers	took	a	few	creative	liberties	,	and	most	do	not	damage	the	story	in	any	way	.	in	fact	,	the	shakespearean	relationship	between	moses	(	val	kilmer	)	and	the	pharaoh	rameses	(	ralph	fiennes	)	makes	the	story	more	interesting	if	anything	.	moses	,	a	hebrew	,	is	saved	from	the	slaughter	of	the	firstborn	sons	by	his	mother	when	she	sets	him	in	a	basket	on	the	nile	;	he	floats	into	the	pharaoh	seti	(	patrick	stewart	)	's	palace	and	is	taken	in	by	the	royal	family	.	moses	grows	up	but	learns	of	his	heritage	and	flees	into	the	desert	,	where	he	discovers	the	burning	bush	and	is	commissioned	by	god	to	return	to	egypt	and	free	the	slaves	.	by	this	time	,	rameses	is	now	pharaoh	,	and	the	two	brothers	,	now	on	opposite	sides	of	the	line	,	face	off	in	a	battle	of	wills	and	divine	intervention	.	the	cast	of	voices	is	most	impressive	,	and	also	includes	such	noteables	as	sandra	bullock	,	jeff	goldblum	,	danny	glover	,	and	steve	martin	.	the	script	does	not	have	a	lot	of	one	liners	in	it	,	and	god	is	reduced	to	a	voice	that	might	well	be	mistaken	for	the	same	one	that	spoke	to	kevin	costner	in	field	of	dreams	,	but	overall	the	story	is	exciting	and	interesting	.	it's	decidedly	for	an	older	crowd	,	and	the	tykes	who	haven't	had	a	few	years	of	religion	class	will	be	hopelessly	lost	.	but	for	those	who	make	the	bid	,	the	prince	of	egypt	can	be	a	great	watch	.
pos	in	this	lighthearted	,	unpretentious	comedy	,	daniel	auteuil	sheds	the	intensity	of	his	previous	roles	in	les	voleurs	,	ma	saison	prfre	,	manon	of	the	spring	,	to	name	just	a	few	and	plays	a	shy	,	crooked	nosed	accountant	too	boring	to	be	tolerated	by	just	about	anyone	.	his	franois	pignon	an	appropriate	name	for	somebody	who	is	about	to	be	fired	,	literally	,	for	being	a	bore	is	a	harmless	placeholder	who	has	no	ambitions	and	no	misconceptions	about	who	he	is	.	pignon's	wife	couldn't	stand	him	and	left	two	years	ago	,	yet	he	still	phones	regularly	to	her	and	their	indifferent	teenage	son	.	after	learning	that	he	is	soon	to	be	fired	,	pignon	,	distraught	,	returns	home	and	meets	that	"	perfect	stranger	"	we	all	want	to	meet	someday	:	the	one	who	steps	into	our	life	and	brings	magic	into	it	.	from	that	moment	on	,	the	neighbor	,	belone	(	michel	aumont	)	,	navigates	pignon's	life	like	a	chess	game	.	belone	easily	persuades	franois	to	concoct	a	story	about	his	homosexuality	so	his	boss	will	fear	a	discrimination	lawsuit	,	superimposes	photographic	images	and	voila	produces	a	shot	of	pignon	in	a	leather	clad	embrace	with	another	man	in	bun	exposed	pants	.	the	photo	gets	sent	to	pignon's	employer	,	and	the	events	start	spinning	like	a	windmill	in	stormy	weather	,	eventually	changing	pignon's	life	forever	.	oddly	,	for	the	rest	of	the	story	,	the	closet	flirts	with	being	politically	correct	and	is	as	predictable	as	it	only	can	be	.	what	gives	the	film	a	tint	of	pleasure	and	saves	it	from	being	totally	grotesque	and	improbable	is	that	the	movie	never	aspires	to	be	anything	more	than	what	it	is	.	director	francis	veber	(	the	dinner	game	)	finds	a	delightful	irony	in	the	fact	that	pignon	has	to	lie	that	he	doesn't	like	women	in	order	to	prove	he	is	a	man	.	we	,	of	course	,	will	learn	that	there	is	so	much	more	to	pignon	than	he	and	his	colleagues	could	ever	imagine	.	while	watching	the	film	,	i	caught	myself	feeling	surprised	that	such	a	banal	movie	could	actually	be	off	the	cuff	and	entertaining	.	the	most	distasteful	thought	in	the	closet	is	how	little	people	really	care	about	political	correctness	but	how	diligent	they	are	in	pretending	the	opposite	.	office	politics	always	reveal	people	at	their	most	vile	:	there	is	something	unquestionably	disturbing	and	familiar	in	watching	petty	little	personalities	trapped	in	their	small	trivial	lives	as	they	entertain	themselves	with	self	made	gossip	and	lies	.	besides	auteuil	,	the	acting	,	for	the	most	part	,	is	adequate	.	grard	depardieu	,	for	example	,	starts	off	great	as	a	gauche	,	self	righteous	macho	rugby	couch	,	a	racist	,	and	a	homophobe	.	however	,	as	pignon	gets	his	job	back	,	depardieu's	colleagues	make	him	fearful	for	his	own	job	for	calling	pignon	a	"	fruit	.	"	the	situation	becomes	repetitiously	improbable	and	depardieu	is	annoying	and	unconvincing	as	we	learn	that	he	might	actually	be	the	one	"	coming	out	of	the	closet	.	"	michle	laroque	is	especially	good	as	mademoiselle	bertrand	,	pignon's	boss	,	who	not	only	discovers	a	real	pignon	and	subsequently	seduces	him	,	but	also	demonstrates	to	us	how	smart	women	master	the	most	impossible	situations	.	though	maybe	not	quite	so	impossible	as	this	film	.
pos	capsule	:	another	great	piece	of	nonsense	from	the	masters	of	enjoyably	bad	moviemaking	.	troma	are	the	best	bad	filmmakers	in	the	world	.	they're	totally	aware	of	their	purpose	in	life	,	and	they	embrace	it	with	a	vehemence	and	a	glee	that	other	schlock	makers	can't	even	come	near	.	actually	,	most	troma	films	are	not	nearly	as	bad	(	unwatchable	,	stupidly	conceived	,	boring	)	as	many	high	ticket	hollywood	movies	,	and	that's	the	secret	of	their	charm	.	they're	always	entertaining	,	if	ridiculous	.	i	saw	sgt	.	kabukiman	in	a	week	where	i'd	suffered	through	an	unbelievable	amount	of	forgettable	and	uncompelling	big	ticket	junk	movies	some	of	them	bad	but	most	of	them	just	plain	dull	.	kabukiman	was	by	far	the	best	of	the	bunch	a	funny	,	sustained	,	surprisingly	witty	movie	with	a	ton	of	good	lines	.	the	plot	is	typically	troma	weird	:	an	nypd	detective	,	name	of	harry	griswold	,	gets	involved	in	a	massacre	during	a	kabuki	performance	and	gets	the	power	of	one	of	the	dying	players	transferred	to	him	.	now	he	can	transform	himself	into	kabukiman	,	with	a	wild	hairdo	and	outfit	,	and	who	can	sling	sushi	and	chopsticks	to	stop	foes	in	their	tracks	.	really	.	all	of	this	is	,	of	course	,	utterly	idiotic	,	and	done	with	grubby	low	budget	production	qualities	that	make	the	movie	all	the	more	fun	.	it's	also	well	sustained	.	the	movie	doesn't	simply	pick	one	schtick	and	slog	through	it	,	but	has	fun	coming	up	with	bizarre	tangents	to	the	story	(	like	when	griswold	tries	to	transform	into	kabukiman	and	.	.	.	uh	.	.	.	comes	up	with	something	else	)	,	and	plays	out	its	elements	well	.	the	movie	finds	a	tone	and	sticks	with	it	,	which	is	not	easy	to	do	:	most	of	the	other	movies	i	saw	that	week	were	hopelessly	confused	as	to	whether	they	were	taking	themselves	seriously	or	not	.	kabukiman	knows	,	and	wallows	happily	in	it	.	better	to	be	an	honest	schlock	movie	than	a	confused	or	dishonest	serious	movie	,	any	day	of	the	a	href	"	mailto	:	week	.	hr	syegul	ix	.	netcom	.	com	"	week	.	hr	syegul	ix	.	netcom	.	com	a	efnet	irc	:	ginrei	new	email	address	coming	soon	icq	:	934998	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	io	.	com	syegul	"	http	:	www	.	io	.	com	syegul	a	another	worldly	device	.	.	.	new	web	site	:	a	href	"	http	:	cablehouse	.	dyn	.	ml	.	org	"	http	:	cablehouse	.	dyn	.	ml	.	org	a	.	.	.	and	the	mandate	of	heaven	you	can	crush	me	as	i	speak	write	on	rocks	what	you	feel	now	feel	this	truth	hr
pos	steven	spielberg's	second	epic	film	on	world	war	ii	is	an	unquestioned	masterpiece	of	film	.	spielberg	,	ever	the	student	on	film	,	has	managed	to	resurrect	the	war	genre	by	producing	one	of	its	grittiest	,	and	most	powerful	entries	.	he	also	managed	to	cast	this	era's	greatest	answer	to	jimmy	stewart	,	tom	hanks	,	who	delivers	a	performance	that	is	nothing	short	of	an	astonishing	miracle	.	for	about	160	out	of	its	170	minutes	,	"	saving	private	ryan	"	is	flawless	.	literally	.	the	plot	is	simple	enough	.	after	the	epic	d	day	invasion	(	whose	sequences	are	nothing	short	of	spectacular	)	,	capt	.	john	miller	(	hanks	)	and	his	team	are	forced	to	search	for	a	pvt	.	james	ryan	(	damon	)	,	whose	brothers	have	all	died	in	battle	.	once	they	find	him	,	they	are	to	bring	him	back	for	immediate	discharge	so	that	he	can	go	home	.	accompanying	miller	are	his	crew	,	played	with	astonishing	perfection	by	a	group	of	character	actors	that	are	simply	sensational	.	barry	pepper	,	adam	goldberg	,	vin	diesel	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	davies	,	and	burns	are	the	team	sent	to	find	one	man	,	and	bring	him	home	.	the	battle	sequences	that	bookend	the	film	are	extraordinary	.	literally	.	there	is	nothing	in	film	that	has	ever	been	recorded	that	will	prepare	you	for	the	sheer	onslaught	of	terrorizing	violence	in	the	film's	first	20	minutes	.	spielberg	films	almost	the	entire	movie	without	music	,	leaving	it	up	to	the	characters	to	generate	emotion	,	and	they	do	to	perfection	.	the	sequences	in	france	,	all	of	them	,	beginning	with	the	battle	and	ending	with	the	battle	,	are	fabulous	,	especially	the	dialogues	between	the	men	as	they	walk	through	the	hills	and	countrysides	,	trying	to	save	private	ryan	.	there	are	no	words	i	can	use	to	describe	the	true	horror	and	power	of	these	sequences	.	this	is	what	coppola	was	looking	for	in	"	apocalypse	now	"	,	but	couldn't	create	.	the	sheer	horror	of	these	sequences	all	but	condemn	war	.	the	performance	by	hanks	as	the	leader	of	this	gang	is	also	extraordinary	.	he	is	head	and	shoulders	above	of	the	rest	of	the	actors	in	the	world	,	with	his	comic	timing	,	dramatic	flair	,	his	quiet	emotion	that	stirs	an	entire	nation	to	tears	.	hanks	is	this	country's	finest	actor	,	and	he	proves	it	here	.	however	,	spielberg	almost	destroys	his	own	masterpiece	.	with	a	chance	to	make	it	the	one	of	the	greatest	films	of	all	time	,	spielberg	creates	10	minutes	of	purely	worthless	film	.	the	sequence	involving	army	chief	of	stafff	george	marshall	and	mrs	.	ryan	is	decent	,	but	doesn't	hold	up	to	the	rest	of	the	film	,	relying	on	wartime	cliches	to	power	it	.	but	that	is	forgivable	.	what	isn't	is	the	bookends	of	the	film	,	the	cemetary	sequences	.	the	first	one	is	quite	good	,	a	decent	introduction	into	the	lives	of	these	men	.	the	last	sequence	is	atrocious	.	the	forced	emotion	,	accompanied	by	a	ridiculous	piece	of	music	,	is	simply	horrible	compared	to	the	rest	of	the	magical	film	.	these	flaws	are	what	downgrade	"	ryan	"	from	the	greatest	film	of	our	era	,	to	the	greatest	war	film	of	our	era	.	spielberg	should	have	trusted	his	own	material	,	and	he	should	have	trusted	hanks	to	deliver	the	most	chilling	line	of	the	movie	,	to	end	his	masterpiece	right	there	.	the	use	of	the	flag	,	though	patriotic	,	is	in	contrast	to	the	movie's	theme	.	the	power	of	the	bulk	of	the	film	,	however	,	is	astonishing	.	spielberg	has	truly	made	a	wondrous	work	of	art	,	that	persists	even	after	first	viewing	of	the	film	,	is	extraordinary	.	this	is	the	film	of	the	year	.
pos	i	was	pleasantly	surprised	by	this	film	.	with	a	budget	topping	200	million	,	i	was	quite	skeptical	about	whether	throwing	all	that	money	toward	one	of	the	twentieth	century's	greatest	tragedies	would	make	a	film	exciting	enough	to	see	.	how	much	could	you	dress	up	the	sets	?	how	many	models	and	computer	effects	could	you	use	?	how	much	more	action	could	you	pack	into	a	ship	that	sinks	?	oh	,	if	i've	just	given	away	part	of	the	plot	for	you	,	go	back	to	school	.	after	having	viewed	titanic	,	however	,	i	found	it	to	be	a	well	paced	,	well	designed	,	and	overall	well	made	movie	.	there	have	been	many	films	made	about	the	maiden	and	final	voyage	of	the	ocean	liner	titanic	,	but	this	latest	offering	from	director	james	cameron	is	the	best	i've	seen	.	titanic	tells	its	story	in	two	time	periods	.	it	starts	out	in	the	present	,	when	ocean	explorer	brock	lovett	(	bill	paxton	)	and	his	team	are	exploring	the	wreckage	of	the	titanic	on	the	floor	of	the	atlantic	,	searching	for	a	priceless	diamond	necklace	which	supposedly	went	down	with	the	ship	.	what	they	find	instead	is	a	drawing	of	a	woman	wearing	the	necklace	,	which	is	broadcast	on	the	news	.	the	woman	in	the	picture	recognizes	herself	and	phones	lovett	,	who	has	her	flown	out	to	his	exploration	vessel	on	the	high	seas	.	there	she	tells	her	story	to	lovett	and	his	team	.	in	1912	,	rose	dewitt	bukater	(	kate	winslett	)	,	a	young	lady	belonging	to	society's	upper	class	,	boards	the	titanic	for	the	ship's	first	atlantic	crossing	,	from	southampton	,	england	to	new	york	.	she	is	engaged	to	cal	hockley	(	billy	zane	)	,	an	heir	to	old	money	,	and	a	snob	in	every	sense	of	the	word	.	on	board	,	rose	feels	the	stifling	trappings	of	high	society's	expectations	,	and	resolves	to	escape	from	it	all	by	throwing	herself	off	the	titanic's	stern	,	but	is	saved	from	her	self	proclaimed	fate	by	jack	dawson	(	leonardo	dicaprio	)	,	a	passenger	in	third	class	(	"	steerage	"	,	as	it's	referred	to	)	,	who	talks	her	out	of	jumping	.	although	for	rose	the	attraction	is	not	immediate	,	a	love	affair	soon	develops	between	the	two	,	which	endangers	rose's	social	standing	as	well	as	her	engagement	to	the	jealous	cal	.	the	story	sounds	very	simple	,	and	perhaps	even	unexciting	,	but	through	solid	performances	by	the	leads	and	good	direction	by	cameron	,	a	good	movie	comes	through	.	dicaprio	is	marvelous	as	the	young	,	but	worldly	wise	jack	,	playing	the	role	with	the	confidence	usually	found	in	older	actors	.	his	is	a	character	that	is	immediately	likable	,	as	he	knows	what	he	wants	out	of	life	and	is	charmingly	able	to	handle	a	variety	of	situations	.	girls	are	going	to	swoon	over	him	.	winslet	also	proves	herself	a	good	actress	,	delivering	her	lines	convincingly	,	and	the	quality	of	performances	between	winslet	and	dicaprio	makes	the	relationship	believable	.	the	only	problem	with	winslet	is	that	she	does	not	carry	herself	in	accordance	with	her	character's	upbringing	.	simply	by	judgment	of	her	gait	,	i	was	distracted	from	the	fact	that	she	was	supposed	to	be	an	upper	crust	debutante	.	rather	than	demonstrate	the	poise	one	would	expect	her	character	to	possess	,	she	sometimes	looks	positively	clumsy	,	and	it	unfortunately	detracts	from	her	otherwise	great	acting	.	billy	zane	is	cast	well	as	the	aristocratic	snob	cal	,	since	he	has	a	certain	look	that	immediately	makes	you	want	to	hate	him	.	his	features	are	such	that	even	when	he	smiles	,	there's	something	mistrustful	about	him	,	and	when	he	scowls	,	he	is	evil	incarnate	.	he's	something	like	a	porcelain	version	of	peter	gallagher	,	but	a	cheaper	model	.	like	dicaprio	and	winslet	,	zane	slips	comfortably	into	his	role	and	plays	it	well	.	backing	up	zane	is	david	warner	as	lovejoy	,	cal's	personal	assistant	(	or	"	man	"	as	they	said	at	the	turn	of	the	century	)	.	no	matter	who	else	is	in	the	cast	,	you	can	always	count	on	a	good	performance	by	warner	,	who	seems	to	be	made	to	play	the	distinguished	gentleman	with	a	gaze	of	steel	and	will	to	match	.	additionally	,	there	are	a	number	of	smaller	fictional	and	non	fictional	roles	thrown	in	for	color	,	such	as	kathy	bates	as	"	the	unsinkable	"	molly	brown	,	danny	nucci	as	jack's	friend	fabrizio	de	rossi	,	eric	braeden	as	john	jacob	astor	,	and	even	bernard	fox	as	colonel	archibald	gracie	.	nice	to	see	dr	.	bombay	getting	work	.	also	scattered	about	are	some	of	the	other	steerage	passengers	who	are	basically	in	the	movie	so	you	can	feel	sorry	for	them	when	they	die	.	this	by	itself	may	have	been	largely	compulsory	in	a	film	about	the	titanic	,	but	it	transcends	this	status	by	putting	these	characters	in	direct	conflict	with	the	ship's	crewmembers	who	strive	to	maintain	order	and	assure	that	the	first	class	passengers	are	placed	aboard	the	lifeboats	before	anyone	else	.	in	this	way	,	titanic	possesses	a	depth	not	usually	found	in	action	pictures	.	you	don't	just	get	a	love	story	with	a	tragedy	as	a	backdrop	,	but	a	very	real	account	of	class	struggle	as	well	.	as	i	mentioned	before	,	the	budget	for	this	film	was	tremendous	,	and	it	certainly	showed	in	the	set	dressing	and	special	effects	.	the	interiors	of	the	titanic	are	nearly	breathtaking	with	their	elaborate	trimmings	and	intricate	detail	,	and	one	has	very	little	doubt	that	the	layouts	are	authentic	.	with	regard	to	the	exteriors	,	i	would	dare	anyone	to	point	out	a	film	in	which	a	vessel	has	been	recreated	with	such	meticulousness	or	on	such	a	scale	.	cameron	actually	built	a	scale	model	of	the	titanic	in	a	water	tank	,	but	only	had	room	for	90	,	and	therefore	had	to	computer	generate	the	remaining	40	feet	.	could've	fooled	me	and	everyone	else	in	the	theater	,	as	the	splicing	is	seamless	.	also	of	note	in	this	film	is	the	way	the	audience	is	presented	with	the	anatomy	of	the	disaster	right	at	the	beginning	.	we	are	told	of	where	the	iceberg	struck	the	ship	,	how	the	flooding	occurred	,	the	way	the	ship	sank	,	and	why	it	did	so	in	that	manner	.	these	technical	details	serve	as	a	guide	for	later	on	when	the	action	starts	happening	,	and	allow	us	to	view	the	sinking	with	informed	analytic	detraction	,	in	addition	to	the	more	conventional	placement	in	the	midst	of	mayhem	and	confusion	.	in	all	,	james	cameron's	titanic	is	a	good	blend	of	love	story	,	history	,	and	action	.	the	fact	that	the	film	runs	longer	than	most	at	about	three	hours	is	almost	unnoticed	as	the	viewer's	attention	is	held	alternately	by	those	three	main	elements	,	from	the	movie's	intriguing	beginning	to	it's	satisfactory	ending	.	in	box	office	receipts	,	titanic	the	movie	will	undoubtedly	live	up	to	the	unsinkable	expectations	of	titanic	the	ship	.
pos	now	that	"	boogie	nights	"	has	made	disco	respectable	again	(	well	,	fashionable	at	least	)	,	we	shouldn't	be	surprised	to	see	more	films	glorifying	that	dubious	era	.	the	latest	art	house	interpretation	is	whit	stillman's	"	the	last	days	of	disco	.	"	stillman	,	who	made	"	metropolitan	"	and	"	barcelona	"	using	some	of	the	same	actors	,	uses	disco's	final	hours	to	highlight	what	is	another	conversation	heavy	movie	that	benefits	from	typically	astute	writing	from	the	director	.	the	young	,	upwardly	mobile	professional	(	don't	call	them	yuppies	!	)	men	and	women	of	"	the	last	days	of	disco	"	frequent	a	prestigious	new	york	city	nightclub	pulsating	to	the	bass	pounding	rhythms	of	earth	wind	and	fire	,	amy	grant	,	and	andrea	true	connection	.	here	they	talk	and	talk	and	talk	,	intellectualizing	about	such	things	as	dating	,	success	,	and	being	liked	,	accepted	,	and	admired	.	if	talk	is	cheap	,	"	the	last	days	of	disco	"	must	surely	have	been	an	extremely	inexpensive	movie	to	shoot	.	what	makes	the	film	so	entertaining	is	that	this	preppie	,	harvard	educated	jet	set	actually	have	something	to	say	and	say	it	with	wit	,	perception	,	and	style	(	including	,	at	one	point	,	a	riotously	inventive	deconstruction	of	"	the	lady	and	the	tramp	"	)	.	nave	alice	(	chlo	sevigny	)	and	sophisticated	charlotte	(	kate	beckinsale	)	are	recent	college	graduates	who	work	as	assistant	editors	for	a	new	york	publishing	house	.	charlotte	is	confident	and	outspoken	perhaps	a	little	too	outspoken	;	alice	is	shy	and	introverted	,	"	like	a	kindergarten	teacher	.	"	the	two	friends	often	doll	themselves	up	and	head	out	to	the	nameless	nightspot	,	looking	good	and	looking	for	excitement	(	and	that	ms	.	beckinsale	sure	looks	good	on	a	dancefloor	!	)	.	here	they	meet	,	or	re	meet	,	a	variety	of	eligible	men	,	many	of	whom	they	knew	in	college	.	des	(	played	by	stillman	favorite	christopher	eigeman	)	is	one	of	the	club's	managers	whose	job	is	on	the	line	for	sneaking	his	ad	agency	buddies	in	the	back	.	des	has	reached	a	crisis	point	in	his	life	:	he	just	found	out	last	wednesday	,	in	fact	that	he's	gay	.	whether	it's	true	or	not	,	it	makes	for	a	convenient	excuse	to	dump	his	latest	girlfriend	(	jennifer	beals	in	a	small	but	soul	baring	turn	)	.	charlotte	observes	cattily	that	the	only	gay	thing	about	des	is	his	mouth	.	jimmy	(	mackenzie	astin	)	is	the	advertising	exec	who	,	by	the	end	of	the	picture	,	winds	up	heading	for	a	new	job	opportunity	in	spain	(	visions	of	"	barcelona	"	?	)	.	josh	(	matt	keeslar	)	is	an	assistant	district	attorney	who	dreams	of	being	able	to	say	,	just	once	,	"	book	this	clown	!	"	and	robert	sean	leonard	plays	another	one	of	alice's	revolving	suitors	;	the	two	have	an	amusing	exchange	about	the	true	definition	of	virginity	.	any	film	that	can	make	robert	sean	leonard	palatable	is	worthy	of	respect	in	my	book	.	in	fact	,	the	entire	ensemble	is	appealing	in	that	well	spoken	stillman	way	.	while	the	eschewing	of	"	ferocious	pairing	"	is	a	favored	topic	of	conversation	in	the	film	,	the	protagonists	tend	to	slip	in	and	out	of	love	,	lust	,	and	trouble	with	each	other	in	an	emotional	merry	go	round	that	cleverly	develops	its	characters	through	the	"	preferred	"	dynamics	of	social	group	interaction	.	more	mature	than	stillman's	previous	two	films	,	"	the	last	days	of	disco	"	is	as	consistently	droll	as	it	is	stimulating	.	it's	a	movie	you	should	definitely	get	on	down	to	.
pos	starring	:	bill	paxton	,	billy	bob	thorton	,	bridget	fondai	know	what	i	would	do	with	4	.	4	million	if	i	found	it	in	a	previously	undiscovered	airplane	crash	site	,	especially	if	i	were	with	jacob	and	lou	.	(	huh	?	)	well	,	in	any	event	,	that	is	the	situation	hank	(	paxton	)	finds	himself	in	.	he	and	his	dim	witted	brother	jacob	(	thorton	)	and	tubby	friend	lou	(	brent	briscoe	)	come	upon	a	large	bag	of	cash	inside	a	plane	wreck	.	against	his	better	judgement	,	hank	decides	to	go	along	with	the	idea	of	keeping	it	rather	than	going	to	the	authorities	.	the	rest	of	the	film	is	a	question	of	who	is	going	to	die	to	keep	this	a	secret	,	and	is	it	worth	it	?	a	simple	wish	lies	along	the	lines	of	very	bad	things	,	clay	pigeons	and	even	fargo	,	and	is	kind	of	wrapped	all	into	one	little	dark	bundle	.	oh	,	and	its	much	better	than	any	of	those	.	sam	raimi	took	a	departure	from	his	normal	freak	show	horror	monkey	films	and	made	this	stylish	and	intriguing	picture	.	he	really	lets	the	audience	sit	back	and	watch	the	events	unfold	rather	than	force	them	down	our	throats	as	many	directors	prefer	to	do	.	i	think	raimi	knew	he	had	a	winner	on	his	hands	and	decided	to	direct	the	picture	on	a	natural	flowing	course	.	one	of	the	film's	components	can	be	linked	to	a	recurring	theme	in	terrence	malick's	the	thin	red	line	.	in	malick's	three	hour	bore	a	thon	,	he	makes	an	interesting	attempt	to	link	mother	earth	to	his	war	story	.	it	seemed	nothing	more	than	an	occasional	pretty	cut	to	a	field	of	flowing	grass	,	a	small	bird	,	or	a	flowing	body	of	water	.	sure	,	there	were	obvious	metaphorical	connections	,	but	there	was	no	subtlty	to	his	efforts	.	raimi	does	a	fine	job	of	tying	in	a	fox	in	a	chicken	coop	and	birds	of	prey	to	signify	the	future	of	the	characters	.	i	think	most	viewers	may	miss	the	comparison	,	but	it	is	a	very	intriguing	ingredient	in	the	film	.	and	then	there's	billy	bob	thorton	,	who	is	proof	that	the	independent	film	industry	is	vital	to	the	life	blood	of	hollywood	.	if	it	can	continute	to	produce	people	like	thorton	,	hollywood	will	be	ok	.	he	gives	a	fantastic	and	devastatingly	deep	performance	here	.	it	is	not	as	engrossing	as	his	carl	childers	character	in	slingblade	,	but	is	is	just	as	complex	,	if	not	more	so	.	jacob	is	slow	and	simple	,	and	yet	we	so	often	see	him	deep	in	thought	.	i	wondered	if	he	was	thinking	about	things	that	he	would	never	say	(	or	didn't	know	how	to	say	)	or	if	he	was	just	taking	a	long	time	to	think	about	the	thing	he	just	said	.	here	he	really	proves	his	worth	as	one	of	the	best	character	actors	in	the	industry	.	though	the	plot	is	somewhat	unoriginal	,	it	has	a	very	appealing	new	twist	in	its	characters	.	paxton	gives	one	of	the	better	performances	of	his	career	as	the	straight	and	serious	leader	of	the	group	(	a	far	cry	from	chet	in	wierd	science	)	.	perhaps	bridget	fonda	is	miscast	as	his	advice	giving	wife	,	but	she	certainly	doesn't	do	anything	ruin	the	picture	.	a	simple	plan	can	be	included	in	the	group	of	recent	small	hollywood	films	that	is	just	dark	and	pretty	un	redeeming	.	but	at	least	this	one	has	an	important	message	,	unlike	so	many	of	its	counterparts	.	1	2	out	of	stars	1999	nick	amado	a	href	"	mailto	:	namado	concentric	.	net	"	namado	concentric	.	net	a	check	out	my	movie	reviews	at	www	.	writerboy	.	com	nick	(	or	i'll	come	to	your	house	and	read	all	my	reviews	outloud	in	miss	piggy's	voice	)
pos	1997	,	pg	13	,	119	minutes	1	hour	,	59	minutes	starring	:	pierce	brosnon	(	james	bond	)	,	jonathon	pryce	(	elliot	carver	)	,	michelle	yeoh	(	wai	lin	)	,	teri	hatcher	(	paris	carver	)	;	written	by	bruce	feirstien	;	produced	by	barbara	broccoli	,	michael	g	.	wilson	;	directed	by	roger	spottiswoode	;	based	on	characters	created	by	ian	fleming	.	seen	december	28	,	1997	at	8	:	45	p	.	m	.	at	the	crossgates	mall	cinema	18	(	guilderland	,	ny	)	,	theater	8	,	with	matt	perreault	and	my	sister	jena	for	free	(	matt	paid	using	pre	paid	passes	)	.	if	there's	ever	been	an	exception	to	the	perils	of	excessive	cliches	and	non	stop	action	,	the	james	bond	films	are	it	.	and	if	there's	ever	been	a	james	bond	film	that	not	only	proves	this	,	but	does	so	by	pushing	it	to	the	extreme	,	"	tomorrow	never	dies	"	is	it	.	opening	sequences	almost	always	make	or	break	action	films	.	when	done	properly	,	not	only	are	they	actually	exciting	,	but	they	foreshadow	things	to	come	.	this	film	starts	off	on	the	right	foot	by	establishing	the	kind	of	atmosphere	that	could	only	be	found	in	an	action	movie	,	but	with	a	sense	of	the	self	aware	,	enclosed	universe	where	james	bond	movies	take	place	in	.	first	there's	a	high	tech	,	slightly	complicated	scene	involving	a	british	warship	crossing	into	unfriendly	,	chinese	waters	.	there's	definite	tension	as	there	seems	to	be	an	unknown	,	but	certainly	hostile	,	third	party	involved	who	is	manipulating	both	sides	.	when	the	scene	ends	in	tragedy	,	it's	clear	there's	some	kind	of	powerful	conspiracy	going	on	,	and	who	else	to	call	on	for	such	a	case	but	james	bond	?	the	film	uses	good	judgment	in	the	way	it	introduces	us	to	bond	(	brosnon	)	.	as	the	enemy	was	portrayed	as	evil	and	mysterious	,	bond	is	clearly	(	and	obviously	)	depicted	as	an	out	and	out	hero	.	he	single	handedly	takes	out	a	small	army	of	terrorists	,	and	then	must	escape	in	the	nick	of	time	by	flying	away	in	a	fighter	jet	while	the	co	pilot	tries	to	strangle	him	and	a	terrorist	in	another	jet	tries	to	shoot	him	down	!	this	might	sound	like	the	kind	of	cliches	films	like	this	are	notorious	for	(	over	)	using	,	but	it	works	here	because	the	film	knows	how	to	get	our	attention	quickly	.	it's	not	about	the	payoff	because	it's	obvious	bond	will	escape	,	instead	,	it's	the	way	it	processes	the	action	sequences	by	going	over	the	top	and	not	apologizing	for	it	,	all	the	while	creating	for	witty	,	hysterical	comedy	.	it	seems	less	emphasis	is	placed	on	the	villains	in	thrillers	anymore	,	because	of	political	correctness	,	and	just	plain	copping	out	on	behalf	of	the	filmmakers	(	even	the	term	"	villain	"	sounds	passe	)	.	what	the	film	deserves	kudos	for	is	its	ability	to	create	a	villain	as	heinous	as	they	come	,	yet	making	him	seem	completely	plausible	.	jonathon	pryce	delivers	a	perfect	performance	as	the	arrogant	,	cunning	elliot	carver	,	a	media	mogul	whose	goal	is	to	take	over	the	world	,	that	is	,	through	his	massive	media	empire	,	not	through	nuclear	weapons	.	through	some	interesting	detective	work	,	bond	and	the	english	ministry	of	defense	believe	carver	is	behind	the	trouble	brewing	in	the	southern	asian	seas	as	a	way	to	create	and	accurately	cover	his	own	news	.	not	only	is	that	an	original	idea	for	a	conflict	,	but	one	which	could	carry	over	into	reality	.	surprisingly	,	this	is	about	as	detailed	as	the	story	allows	the	specific	plot	to	become	.	the	film's	hook	is	the	action	,	and	of	course	those	cool	gadgets	and	we	get	plenty	of	that	here	as	bond	goes	out	to	investigate	carver	and	finds	himself	in	a	jam	or	two	along	the	way	.	the	story	works	much	like	bond	himself	always	on	the	run	and	concentrates	more	on	the	individual	conflicts	than	any	general	plot	.	somehow	a	chinese	agent	,	wai	lin	(	yeoh	)	,	bumps	into	bond	a	few	too	many	times	and	they	find	themselves	working	together	.	the	chemistry	between	brosnon	and	yeoh	is	rigid	,	but	also	works	because	of	this	,	not	in	spite	of	it	.	the	two	are	constantly	on	the	run	from	carver	and	his	goons	,	yet	the	film	manages	to	balance	the	stunts	and	special	effects	with	its	clever	story	.	although	"	tomorrow	never	dies	"	is	far	from	perfect	,	it	is	quite	an	impressive	film	in	terms	of	its	ability	to	be	so	cliche	and	cartoony	and	not	make	plausibility	an	issue	.	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	180	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.	also	,	check	out	the	first	shay	astar	web	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	a	to	receive	chad'z	movie	reviews	directly	,	send	e	mail	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	chadpolenz	aol	.	com	"	chadpolenz	aol	.	com	a	with	"	subscribe	plan	_	"	in	the	header	(	plan	1	new	releases	,	plan	2	all	movies	reviewed	)	.
pos	written	by	:	alex	proyas	,	lem	dobbs	and	david	s	.	goyerstarring	:	rufus	sewell	,	kiefer	sutherland	,	jennifer	connelly	,	william	hurt	ingredients	:	man	with	amnesia	who	wakes	up	wanted	for	murder	,	dark	science	fiction	city	controlled	by	alien	beings	with	mental	powers	.	synopsis	:	what	if	you	woke	up	one	day	,	and	suspected	you	were	not	on	earth	,	and	instead	were	part	of	an	experiment	in	a	giant	space	terrarium	manipulated	by	intergalactic	alien	zookeepers	?	in	dark	city	john	murdoch	(	rufus	sewell	)	has	this	problem	.	dark	city	starts	out	like	a	1940s	noir	amnesia	detective	mystery	.	poor	john	wakes	up	with	amnesia	in	a	hotel	room	with	a	dead	dame	in	one	corner	.	a	mysterious	phone	call	tells	him	to	get	the	heck	out	of	there	,	and	soon	enough	john	is	chased	all	over	town	by	a	murderous	army	of	pale	people	in	black	trench	coats	,	as	well	as	by	the	police	,	and	the	dogged	inspector	bumstead	(	william	hurt	)	.	is	john	a	murderer	,	and	what	can	his	missing	memories	tell	him	?	he	searches	through	his	own	wallet	for	possible	contacts	and	clues	.	but	when	the	clues	don't	fit	,	it	doesn't	just	confuse	him	;	it	causes	john	to	go	so	far	as	to	question	the	whole	nature	of	reality	in	the	dark	city	.	to	john	,	something	is	fishy	,	and	very	unreal	about	this	city	.	how	come	it's	always	dark	,	and	nobody	seems	to	remember	what	they	did	this	morning	?	and	how	come	nobody	seems	to	remember	how	to	leave	the	city	,	or	how	to	get	to	nearby	shell	beach	?	every	night	,	around	midnight	,	john	notices	that	the	whole	city	enters	a	state	of	suspended	animation	,	and	at	this	time	,	creepy	alien	experimenters	known	as	the	'strangers'	come	out	and	do	nasty	things	like	inject	fake	memories	into	people's	heads	with	big	hypodermic	needles	.	the	strangers	have	the	ability	to	'tune	,	'	or	warp	reality	using	telepathic	powers	.	turns	out	,	the	city	is	not	on	earth	at	all	.	and	the	reason	why	john	doesn't	fall	victim	to	the	nightly	suspended	animation	,	is	because	he	is	a	human	mutation	that	possesses	the	same	god	like	reality	warping	abilities	as	the	strangers	.	even	with	the	help	of	scientist	dr	.	daniel	schreber	,	can	john	take	back	the	dark	city	?	opinion	:	director	alex	proyas	(	he	also	directed	the	crow	)	mentions	this	in	the	dark	city	press	kit	:	in	films	,	science	fiction	is	always	"	used	to	have	big	spaceships	blow	up	cities	.	i	think	we're	a	little	tired	of	that	.	"	according	to	director	proyas	,	probably	the	most	interesting	thing	about	dark	city	is	its	layers	.	it's	designed	so	that	you	can	watch	the	film	over	again	,	and	examine	it	from	the	perspective	of	a	main	character	other	than	murdoch	.	it's	a	philosophical	piece	.	cinematic	science	fiction	is	basically	a	thinly	disguised	shootout	between	the	good	humans	and	the	bad	aliens	(	whether	they	be	klingons	,	giant	bugs	,	or	proponents	of	the	dark	side	of	the	force	)	.	but	science	fiction	in	books	reaches	beyond	the	'shoot	em	up'	level	and	targets	the	big	questions	,	questions	like	who	are	we	?	what	is	the	human	condition	?	what	is	ethical	?	what	would	a	true	human	being	do	?	far	from	comic	book	style	on	the	order	of	spawn	,	batman	,	or	the	mutant	ninja	turtles	,	dark	city	not	only	features	the	showdown	between	good	humans	and	powerful	aliens	,	but	it	also	asks	questions	worthy	of	films	such	as	brazil	or	blade	runner	.	dark	city	is	what	philosophers	would	call	an	existentialist	screenplay	.	a	little	more	than	200	years	ago	,	the	world	was	filled	with	unhappy	peasants	unhappy	because	nearly	every	aspect	of	their	lives	was	controlled	by	totalitarian	,	military	,	conformist	,	medieval	regimes	.	the	people	took	refuge	in	religion	,	the	idea	being	that	earthly	life	was	a	time	of	suffering	,	but	after	death	,	heaven	would	be	available	.	meanwhile	,	the	state	used	these	same	ideas	to	prop	up	their	regimes	;	the	king	was	often	head	of	the	religion	and	therefore	sanctioned	by	heaven	.	when	science	finally	overturned	religion	,	the	medieval	dictatorships	came	tumbling	down	and	were	replaced	by	democratic	governments	.	but	the	new	fear	was	that	the	power	of	science	and	experimentation	would	be	used	to	create	a	world	order	as	darkly	totalitarian	as	the	old	.	this	is	the	time	period	when	writers	and	philosophers	such	as	freud	,	kant	,	kafka	,	nietzsche	,	and	dostoevsky	pondered	what	society	should	be	,	and	what	place	the	individual	had	in	it	.	the	existentialists'	in	particular	wrote	about	the	power	of	the	lone	individual	against	what	may	be	a	hostile	,	indifferent	,	or	alienated	universe	.	in	dark	city	,	when	the	last	dying	,	defeated	alien	asks	john	murdoch	why	the	aliens'	scientific	experiments	on	the	human	beings'	brains	failed	,	murdoch	replies	,	pointing	to	his	head	,	"	because	the	human	condition	isn't	located	in	here	.	"
pos	the	always	over	the	top	underrated	don	knotts	kicked	off	his	first	of	a	string	of	family	films	with	this	delightful	comedy	with	a	dash	of	horror	.	luther	heggs	(	knotts	)	is	a	bug	eyed	type	setter	for	the	local	newspaper	,	he's	always	dreamed	of	becoming	a	first	class	reporter	but	newspaper	manager	ollie	(	skip	homeier	)	makes	fun	of	him	and	won't	let	him	write	any	stories	.	luther	is	driving	along	when	a	man	is	hit	over	the	head	in	front	of	the	town's	spooky	old	simmons	mansion	that	everyone	says	is	haunted	.	convinced	that	they	can	scare	him	away	from	the	paper	for	good	,	ollie	and	george	beckett	(	dick	sargent	)	decide	to	let	him	write	a	story	,	what's	the	catch	you	ask	?	he	has	to	write	it	about	his	overnite	stay	in	the	simmons	house	.	much	to	his	horror	he	finds	that	things	go	bump	in	the	night	,	the	organ	plays	by	itself	,	and	a	pair	of	garden	shears	are	stabbed	in	the	neck	of	a	bleeding	portrait	.	he	writes	of	his	experiences	and	the	town	declares	him	a	hero	.	finding	it	unsuitable	against	the	family	name	,	nicholas	simmons	(	philip	ober	)	challenges	luther	to	prove	what	he	saw	.	of	course	,	the	same	things	never	happen	again	,	and	he	can't	prove	the	secret	passageway	that	he	found	.	nicholas	is	trying	to	bulldoze	the	house	because	he	wants	to	cover	up	the	family's	secret	past	.	the	film	is	classic	knotts	,	the	movie	sets	him	up	well	and	he's	wonderful	as	usual	.	sadly	the	film	is	flawed	,	most	of	the	character's	motivations	and	thoughts	are	pretty	obvious	from	the	beginning	.	most	non	knotts	dialouge	is	boring	and	weak	.	plus	,	the	trailer	(	which	appears	before	the	movie	)	shows	almost	every	second	of	luther's	confrontation	in	the	spooked	house	.	but	i	am	a	fan	of	knotts	,	where	the	geeky	wide	eyed	man	gets	the	girl	.	the	film	is	funny	,	but	predictable	,	and	not	original	,	so	it	gets	stars	.
pos	an	astonishingly	difficult	movie	to	watch	,	the	last	temptation	of	christ	may	be	scorsese's	most	important	film	,	and	yet	his	most	impossibly	abstract	as	well	.	scorsese	presents	the	life	of	jesus	christ	,	through	nikos	kazantzakis'	novel	,	which	details	the	life	of	christ	from	approximately	20	until	the	day	of	crucifixtion	.	jesus	of	nazareth	(	dafoe	)	is	a	carpenter	,	who	opens	the	film	making	crosses	,	so	that	he	can	escape	the	fate	he	is	subjected	to	,	his	destiny	on	earth	.	yet	,	he	soon	learns	his	evil	ways	for	aiding	in	the	deaths	of	others	,	and	subjects	himself	to	a	desert	in	exile	,	in	hopes	that	he	can	reach	god	.	before	leaving	,	he	asks	for	forgiveness	from	mary	magdelene	(	barbara	hershey	)	,	a	prostitute	who	is	also	a	childhood	friend	of	jesus	.	20	after	going	to	the	desert	,	christ	learns	his	true	purpose	in	life	,	and	what	he	must	do	.	aided	by	judas	(	keitel	)	,	he	sets	off	on	teaching	the	world	his	message	.	along	the	way	,	he	meets	john	the	baptist	,	the	rest	of	the	prophets	,	and	tries	to	teach	the	world	his	message	.	christ	is	also	confronted	by	internal	demons	and	self	doubt	,	as	he	tries	to	find	his	true	purpose	throughout	the	entire	film	.	during	the	story	,	judas	is	the	closese	ally	of	jesus	:	his	betrayal	,	argues	the	film	,	was	not	out	of	hate	,	but	out	of	love	,	in	order	to	allow	christ	to	die	.	20	he	is	eventually	captured	,	and	crucified	as	per	the	bibile	.	however	,	as	he	is	about	to	die	on	the	cross	,	he	is	saved	by	a	girl	,	who	brings	him	to	his	marriage	with	mary	magdelene	.	the	girl	is	a	guardian	angel	who	is	from	god	,	and	who	has	saved	him	from	his	death	.	jesus	goes	on	to	live	a	life	as	a	man	,	as	a	carpenter	,	and	does	not	die	on	the	cross	.	on	his	deathbed	,	in	the	final	moments	of	his	life	,	he	is	visited	by	the	prophets	,	and	by	judas	,	who	denounces	his	master	for	"	not	keeping	his	end	of	the	bargain	.	"	judas	reveals	the	angel	to	truly	be	the	devil	,	and	the	life	jesus	had	lived	to	be	the	ultimate	selfish	act	.	jesus	escapes	from	his	deathbed	,	and	asks	his	father	for	forgiveness	,	for	succumbing	to	his	last	temptation	.	visually	and	aurally	,	the	film	is	absolutely	breathtaking	.	no	other	director	has	even	come	close	to	realizing	jerusalem	during	the	time	of	christ's	life	to	the	screen	.	peter	gabriel	contributes	a	score	than	is	simply	astonishing	,	with	pulsing	rhythms	that	capture	the	viewer	.	the	performances	are	simply	exquisite	,	with	dafoe	leading	the	way	with	a	mesmerizing	turn	as	jesus	.	keitel	,	although	his	accent	is	a	problem	,	is	passionately	brilliant	,	fighting	through	language	to	bring	the	character	to	life	.	the	visuals	are	also	amazing	.	scorsese	frames	his	movie	in	a	harsh	tone	,	leaving	the	impression	that	jesus	truly	is	a	man	who	is	having	human	frailties	.	the	film	,	though	,	has	many	trouble	spots	.	paul	schrader's	script	is	one	.	schrader	uses	modern	day	new	york	english	to	tell	the	story	,	along	with	new	york	words	,	new	york	mannerisms	,	and	new	york	slang	speech	.	the	film	also	does	not	focus	on	the	godly	aspects	of	christ	.	there	is	no	underlying	message	behind	the	man's	words	.	the	film	fails	to	capture	the	glory	and	splendor	of	christ	.	had	it	faithfully	explored	that	aspect	,	than	the	dichotomy	of	jesus'	soul	,	his	frailties	and	doubt	mixed	with	his	unmistakable	glory	,	would	have	been	simply	spectacular	.	the	message	of	christ	is	confused	between	love	and	violence	,	and	the	film	merely	tells	us	jesus	is	great	,	instead	of	showing	us	his	greatness	.	the	film	is	also	overlong	.	it	just	drags	in	the	middle	,	with	nothing	truly	happening	.	christ	is	a	confused	figure	,	in	the	sense	that	the	audience	doesn't	know	who	he	really	is	.	schrader	forgets	to	give	jesus	a	message	,	to	show	that	he	truly	is	the	messiah	,	to	give	him	the	divinity	.	without	that	,	he	is	a	rambling	prophet	,	who	the	audience	themselves	do	not	believe	.	there	are	several	moments	of	accidental	hilarity	,	and	most	of	them	occur	when	jesus	is	attempting	to	preach	.	there	are	moments	of	brief	awe	and	power	,	followed	by	moments	of	confused	hilarity	.	that	said	,	the	controversial	temptation	sequence	is	something	to	behold	.	it	is	a	step	in	an	unexpected	direction	,	one	that	leaves	the	audience	puzzled	,	until	the	arrival	of	the	disciples	.	it	is	a	simply	breathtaking	scene	,	with	jesus	about	to	die	as	a	mortal	.	it	is	truly	one	of	scorsese's	finest	moments	.	it	is	unfortunate	that	scorsese	couldn't	make	a	film	about	christ	as	powerful	as	that	one	scene	.	20
pos	1	2	(	of	4	)	directed	by	robert	iscove	starring	freddie	prinze	jr	.	,	rachael	leigh	cook	,	jodi	lyn	o'keefe	,	anna	paquin	,	kieran	culkin	,	elden	henson	,	paul	walker	,	kevin	pollak	,	dule	hill	,	usher	raymond	,	matthew	lillard	,	clea	duval	,	lil'	kim	high	school	comedies	have	been	pretty	rare	this	decade	.	while	the	horror	film	saw	itself	revived	back	to	the	glory	days	of	the	early	80s	(	beyond	that	,	actually	)	,	teen	comedies	have	been	absent	for	most	of	the	90's	.	sure	,	there	was	a	dazed	and	confused	here	and	a	clueless	there	,	but	after	that	,	what	are	we	left	with	?	national	lampoon's	senior	trip	?	can't	hardly	wait	came	along	last	year	,	and	was	a	deliberate	attempt	to	recapture	the	80s	spirit	,	when	films	like	say	anything	,	sixteen	candles	,	and	fast	times	at	ridgemont	high	were	opening	seemingly	every	weekend	.	the	problem	with	can't	hardly	wait	was	that	it	tried	too	hard	.	it	remembered	those	great	80s	films	so	much	that	the	line	between	homage	and	ripoff	was	stretched	very	thin	.	there	were	some	fine	individual	moments	and	it	was	certainly	energetic	,	but	in	the	end	it	failed	.	and	considering	it's	weak	box	office	performance	,	it	seemed	like	the	genre	was	dead	.	well	,	she's	all	that	is	perhaps	the	very	film	that	can	revive	this	genre	.	the	sold	out	theater	i	saw	t	in	was	very	receptive	towards	the	movie	and	so	was	i	(	albeit	for	different	reasons	)	.	freddie	prinze	jr	.	is	zack	siler	,	a	guy	who	is	living	on	top	of	the	world	.	he	is	senior	class	president	,	an	honor	student	,	pretty	much	runs	the	school	,	and	has	a	knockout	girlfriend	(	o'keefe	)	to	boot	.	early	in	the	film	,	everything	falls	apart	.	his	girlfriend	dumps	him	for	brock	hudson	,	star	of	mtv's	the	real	world	.	in	an	attempt	to	protect	his	legacy	,	he	bets	his	friend	(	paul	walker	)	that	he	can	turn	any	girl	in	the	school	into	the	prom	queen	.	the	girl	walker	picks	is	laney	boggs	,	a	social	nothing	who	wears	glasses	,	eccentric	clothes	(	to	say	the	least	)	,	and	paints	dark	and	disturbing	works	in	art	class	.	one	would	think	laney	would	love	the	chance	to	get	to	know	zack	.	one	thing	i	enjoyed	about	the	film	,	is	that	she	is	initially	reluctant	to	spend	time	with	him	.	she	is	rightfully	suspicious	about	his	motivations	,	but	he	convinces	her	that	he	wants	to	learn	about	art	.	this	may	not	have	been	just	a	line	.	she	takes	him	to	an	art	show	and	puts	him	on	the	spot	.	he	goes	up	on	stage	,	and	in	a	wonderful	moment	of	spontaneity	improvises	an	act	involving	a	hacky	sack	.	zach	gets	a	real	rush	out	of	the	moment	.	he's	never	experienced	the	thrill	of	a	live	performance	before	.	outside	of	the	theater	,	he	tells	laney	she	has	beautiful	eyes	and	should	not	wear	contacts	.	this	is	a	key	scene	,	because	this	is	the	first	time	we	understand	that	zach's	interest	here	is	more	than	just	winning	a	bet	,	and	it	happens	before	her	transformation	.	that	being	said	,	the	big	transformation	scene	is	every	bit	as	wonderful	as	it	should	be	.	at	it's	heart	,	she's	all	that	is	just	a	traditional	romantic	comedy	.	on	a	broader	scale	,	it	deals	with	themes	such	as	responsibility	,	choices	,	and	the	high	school	social	structure	.	zach	is	afraid	to	decide	what	college	to	go	to	,	and	he	uses	his	father's	agressiveness	as	an	excuse	.	laney	hides	her	true	feelings	in	her	bizaare	paintings	and	uses	her	father	and	brother	,	both	of	whom	she	practically	takes	care	of	,	as	an	excuse	for	not	having	a	social	life	.	john	hughes	usually	attacked	parents	,	and	presented	them	as	one	dimensional	subhumans	who	had	no	ability	to	understand	what	their	children	were	going	through	.	she's	all	that	takes	a	different	route	.	it	says	someone	must	make	their	own	choices	,	and	take	responsibility	for	themselves	,	no	matter	what	problems	their	parents	might	present	.	the	social	structure	in	high	school	is	the	most	painful	,	inhumane	,	cruel	thing	for	a	teenager	to	go	through	.	both	zach	and	laney	begin	to	understand	this	.	they	also	learn	that	it's	possible	to	survive	this	structure	without	actually	becoming	part	of	it	.	laney	has	a	line	later	in	the	film	"	i	think	the	right	person	is	up	there	"	that	pretty	much	sums	up	this	theme	.	freddie	prinze	jr	.	's	performance	is	really	strong	here	,	as	opposed	to	his	bland	,	wooden	performance	in	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	.	at	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	he	is	the	typical	all	american	egotistical	jock	,	proud	of	his	legendary	existence	.	to	prinze's	credit	,	zach	is	never	too	obnoxious	.	this	is	because	prinze	never	overacts	.	instead	,	he	relies	on	his	natural	charisma	and	allows	the	material	to	speak	for	itself	.	it's	a	gamble	that	pays	off	because	later	in	the	film	it	allows	him	to	be	quite	charming	.	as	laney	,	rachael	leigh	cook	is	quite	a	revelation	.	like	janeane	garofalo	in	the	truth	about	cats	and	dogs	,	she	is	beleivable	as	someone	who	could	be	perceived	as	an	ugly	duckling	by	the	majority	,	eventhough	the	rest	of	us	know	better	.	she	has	one	particular	scene	,	when	she	learns	of	the	bet	,	where	she	delivers	a	line	of	pure	uninhibited	rage	perfectly	.	there	is	more	to	anger	than	just	shouting	and	cook	understands	that	.	together	,	they	have	a	fabulous	chemistry	,	and	every	scene	between	them	is	absolute	y	delightful	.	if	she's	all	that	has	a	flaw	,	it	is	in	the	annoying	portrayal	of	two	supporting	characters	.	i	very	much	enjoyed	jodi	lyn	o'	keefe's	performance	in	halloween	:	h20	(	though	i	didn't	enjoy	the	film	)	,	but	here	she	seems	to	be	on	a	mission	to	steal	every	single	scene	she	is	in	.	instead	of	just	playing	her	one	dimensional	character	as	a	bitchy	snob	,	o'keefe	wildly	overacts	with	a	repetitive	line	delivery	and	bizaare	facial	expressions	.	look	at	jordanna	brewster's	performance	in	the	faculty	for	a	much	better	portrayal	of	a	similar	character	.	then	there	is	matthew	lillard	as	brock	hudson	,	the	real	world	star	.	his	performance	is	fine	on	it's	own	i	suppose	,	but	it	really	belongs	in	a	different	movie	.	i	think	this	subplot	would've	worked	better	if	o'keefe's	character	got	together	with	one	of	zach's	friends	.	however	,	other	minor	characters	are	simply	wonderful	.	i	admired	how	the	film	gives	each	of	them	a	chance	to	shine	.	kevin	pollak	,	as	laney's	dad	,	is	addicted	to	watching	jeapordy	.	the	fact	that	he	never	knows	the	right	answer	doesn't	prevent	him	from	giving	a	hilariously	wrong	one	anyways	.	paul	walker's	performance	is	interesting	,	because	he	is	able	to	disguise	his	true	intentions	several	times	throughout	the	film	.	keiran	culkin	is	amusing	as	laney's	younger	brother	,	and	the	friendship	that	develops	between	him	and	zach	is	actually	touching	.	elden	henson	,	as	laney's	childhood	friend	,	and	anna	paquin	,	as	zach's	sister	,	also	have	some	very	nice	moments	.	lee	fleming's	script	is	witty	and	smart	.	he	doesn't	rely	on	tired	cliche's	to	wrap	the	film	up	.	a	key	confrontation	is	left	off	screen	,	and	instead	just	revealed	through	dialogue	.	this	allows	the	incident	to	be	funny	,	instead	of	horrifically	out	of	place	,	as	it	would've	seemed	if	shown	on	screen	.	iscove	does	a	fine	job	throughout	.	the	film	is	never	boring	,	and	a	big	dance	scene	at	the	prom	is	quite	an	exhilarating	moment	,	thanks	to	some	wonderful	choreography	combined	with	lively	music	.	she's	all	that	isn't	very	original	on	it's	surface	.	it's	another	retelling	of	the	pygmalion	story	.	but	it's	execution	that	matters	the	most	,	and	iscove	,	fleming	,	and	the	actors	execute	the	material	just	right	.	larry	mcgillicuddy	the	cinemaniac	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	xoom	.	com	lmcgill	movpage	.	htm	"	http	:	members	.	xoom	.	com	lmcgill	movpage	.	htm	a
pos	(	out	of	4	)	first	,	i	am	not	a	big	fan	of	the	x	files	tv	series	.	i	have	nothing	against	it	particularly	,	i	just	don't	happen	to	watch	it	.	having	said	that	,	i	can	now	say	that	i	liked	the	x	files	pretty	well	.	for	us	non	fans	,	there's	nothing	big	going	for	it	,	but	there	are	a	lot	of	little	things	.	the	movie	opens	on	an	ice	cave	in	north	texas	in	35	,	000	b	.	c	.	two	proto	humans	enter	the	cave	and	find	a	space	alien	cocooned	inside	.	the	alien	breaks	free	and	kills	one	man	in	a	struggle	while	the	other	is	seemingly	captured	by	the	bloody	ooze	from	the	alien	.	the	movie	jumps	to	the	same	cave	today	where	a	boy	(	lucas	black	,	from	sling	blade	)	is	captured	by	the	same	black	ooze	.	we	then	cut	to	fbi	agents	scully	and	mulder	(	gillian	anderson	and	david	duchovny	)	,	who	have	been	pulled	off	of	their	previous	assignment	(	investigations	into	the	paranormal	)	and	put	onto	the	bomb	squad	detail	.	a	caller	has	threatened	a	federal	building	in	dallas	,	texas	.	on	a	hunch	,	mulder	checks	out	the	building	across	the	street	,	and	,	wouldn't	you	know	it	,	he	turns	out	to	be	right	.	the	fbi	finds	the	bomb	in	time	to	evacuate	but	not	in	time	to	defuse	.	five	people	die	in	the	blast	,	and	when	mulder	learns	who	the	victims	were	,	a	light	bulb	goes	on	over	his	head	.	the	two	agents	team	up	to	investigate	,	against	fbi	orders	,	the	links	mulder	has	made	.	their	search	leads	them	back	to	the	north	texas	cave	,	all	across	the	country	,	and	even	to	antarctica	as	they	get	closer	and	closer	to	"	the	truth	.	"	the	plot	,	and	"	the	truth	,	"	are	uninspired	.	i	got	the	feeling	that	what	i	learned	was	supposed	to	shock	and	amaze	me	.	it	didn't	.	the	possible	existence	of	aliens	on	earth	has	been	explored	so	many	times	before	in	movies	that	one	could	hardly	count	them	.	but	the	point	of	the	x	files	is	not	what	the	truth	is	,	but	the	extent	to	which	it	has	been	hidden	.	it's	a	slightly	more	interesting	angle	,	but	it	still	raises	expectations	about	that	"	truth	"	too	high	.	if	this	were	the	whole	film	,	i	would	say	the	movie	was	mediocre	,	perhaps	even	boring	.	but	there	are	other	qualities	that	make	me	like	this	movie	well	enough	to	recommend	it	.	the	pacing	of	the	film	was	brisk	enough	to	hold	my	interest	.	before	the	audience	can	get	tired	of	one	location	,	the	agents	follow	a	hot	tip	to	another	location	,	and	so	on	and	so	forth	.	the	locations	are	not	all	computer	generated	sets	,	either	.	there	are	some	artificial	settings	,	but	the	desert	night	of	nevada	,	the	edge	of	suburbia	in	texas	,	and	the	endless	fields	of	snow	in	antarctica	(	actually	somewhere	in	north	america	.	)	make	this	fantastic	film	feel	more	real	.	ward	russell's	cinematography	is	very	good	.	the	overall	look	is	dark	and	ominous	,	appropriate	to	the	intended	tone	of	the	film's	plot	.	russell	is	able	to	make	something	as	innocuous	as	a	cornfield	look	foreboding	.	when	the	movie	is	set	in	darkness	,	the	picture	quality	is	still	rich	and	detailed	.	finally	,	and	specifically	,	there	is	an	incredible	shot	at	night	in	which	the	camera	crosses	the	tracks	in	front	of	a	fast	oncoming	train	.	i	don't	know	if	the	shot	is	faked	in	any	way	,	but	it	looks	dangerous	,	and	it	looks	great	.	the	movie's	soundtrack	is	also	used	to	convey	the	dark	tone	of	the	film	.	(	skip	to	the	next	paragraph	if	you	have	yet	to	see	the	movie	there	is	a	spoiler	in	the	following	sentences	.	)	during	the	opening	prehistoric	sequence	,	a	howling	wind	dogs	the	soundtrack	,	never	giving	the	characters	or	the	audience	an	escape	from	the	lonely	terrible	sound	.	in	one	of	the	movie's	most	effective	sequences	,	metallic	doors	suddenly	slam	open	to	release	a	cloud	of	buzzing	bees	.	the	visuals	of	the	scene	are	good	,	but	what	makes	it	so	surprising	and	frightening	is	the	sound	.	there	was	no	question	as	to	who	the	movie's	stars	would	be	.	even	so	,	duchovny	and	anderson	are	an	interesting	pair	of	actors	and	a	good	combination	.	both	are	easy	on	the	eyes	and	together	,	they	have	some	good	timing	,	banter	,	and	energy	.	there	is	a	hint	of	chemistry	between	them	,	but	it	never	gets	in	the	way	of	their	professional	relationship	.	they	are	like	a	couple	of	kids	out	exploring	the	empty	lot	at	the	end	of	the	street	.	there	might	be	some	romantic	interest	,	but	for	now	they're	more	interested	in	their	environs	than	they	are	in	each	other	.	no	single	element	really	makes	this	movie	outstanding	not	even	the	sense	of	paranoia	that	makes	the	tv	show	so	popular	.	but	enough	things	were	done	right	that	the	x	files	is	one	of	the	more	interesting	summer	adventures	to	come	along	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	when	i	first	heard	of	contact	,	the	hype	was	building	it	up	as	a	sci	fi	blockbuster	.	now	,	with	that	in	mind	,	coupled	with	the	knowledge	of	jodie	foster's	involvement	in	the	project	,	i	thought	"	what	in	the	world	is	foster	doing	in	a	sci	fi	blockbuster	?	?	?	"	.	as	it	turned	out	,	my	expectations	were	completely	nullified	and	turned	topsy	turvy	.	robert	zemeckis	,	back	from	the	euphoria	created	by	his	last	film	,	forrest	gump	,	once	again	proves	his	mastery	in	fusing	tales	of	adventure	with	along	the	endearing	lines	of	human	spirit	.	don't	get	me	wrong	,	contact	is	sci	fibut	with	a	definite	difference	.	based	on	the	late	carl	sagan	novel	of	the	same	name	,	the	story	delves	itself	in	questions	on	science	and	god	;	fact	and	faith	.	allie	(	foster	)	is	a	radio	astronomer	.	she	spends	her	time	listening	to	the	stars	,	via	ultra	huge	communication	dishes	in	search	of	intelligent	life	beyond	the	solar	system	.	her	passion	for	long	distance	communication'	is	the	result	of	her	younger	days	being	spent	avidly	in	front	of	a	ham	radio	system	(	a	hobbyist	radio	communication	device	)	which	her	late	father	bought	for	her	.	a	scene	which	particularly	strengthens	the	audiences'	view	of	the	passion	is	when	she	asked	her	father	whether	she	could	contact	her	late	mother	through	the	ham	radio	system	in	which	her	father	replied	"	not	even	the	most	powerful	radio	in	the	world	can	do	that	,	now	"	.	allie's	research	is	based	on	the	seti	project	(	search	for	extra	terrestrial	intelligence	)	,	in	which	she	listens	to	radio	emissions	from	other	galaxies	in	the	hope	of	finding	one	which	would	suggest	intelligent	manipulation	.	her	work	has	never	been	off	the	scrutiny	of	the	us	government	,	which	considers	it	a	waste	of	taxpayer's	money	and	politically	unviable	,	her	supervisor	(	tom	skerritt	)	pulls	the	plug	on	seti	.	undaunted	,	allie	managed	to	gather	a	loyal	group	of	believers'	and	eventually	found	funding	from	a	large	private	corporation	.	the	following	months	were	treacherous	to	their	hopes	and	research	as	they	are	contantly	pressured	by	the	government	but	all	that	changed	when	one	day	,	she	caught	an	emission	of	a	seemingly	intelligent	repeating	sound	wave	.	the	news	of	her	find	attracted	hordes	of	alien	believers	,	cultist	,	the	media	and	of	course	,	the	government	.	the	situation	became	intense	upon	her	discovery	of	pictorial	plans	on	building	a	form	of	transport	which	were	embedded	within	the	repeating	sound	emission	.	as	the	world	join	forces	to	build	this	transport	,	allie	is	desperate	to	be	the	one	to	go	.	she	enrols	herself	among	a	few	hopefuls	,	to	represent	the	world	when	the	transport	is	ready	for	operation	.	her	eligibility	for	the	spot	failed	when	she	is	questioned	on	her	beliefs	in	the	existence	of	god	by	the	president's	spiritual	advisor	(	mcconaughey	)	;	allie	,	being	an	atheist	,	a	result	of	her	belief	in	fact	and	science	,	refuses	to	budge	upon	questioning	.	at	this	point	the	movie	plot	thickens	considerably	as	she	is	romantically	involved	with	the	president's	spiritual	advisor	.	a	strong	point	which	propelled	the	movie	is	the	depth	of	its	main	characters	played	by	foster	and	mcconaughey	.	from	the	very	first	meeting	scene	,	it	is	obvious	that	the	two	of	them	was	sort	of	kindred	spirits	but	they	were	worlds	apart	in	almost	all	aspects	,	foster	being	a	person	drawn	to	science	and	facts	and	mcconaughey	being	one	who	believes	in	faith	,	hope	and	the	power	of	the	unseen	.	the	meeting	of	their	worlds	,	added	with	the	situation	which	they	are	put	into	makes	the	entire	storytelling	process	near	flawless	.	many	people	who	read	the	synopsis	of	this	film	would	find	it	a	tad	too	ridiculous	,	but	by	actually	immersing	yourself	in	it	,	gives	you	an	entirely	different	perspective	;	one	which	is	free	from	bias	and	pre	conceptions	.	zemeckis	and	his	team	of	screen	writers	have	done	a	remarkable	job	in	telling	this	tale	through	film	.	contact	works	by	not	delving	in	controversy	but	rather	,	touches	the	thinking	audience	,	urging	them	to	ponder	upon	the	questions	raised	in	the	film	concerning	fact	and	faith	;	whether	one	can	actually	find	compromise	within	.	i	consider	contact	as	one	of	the	must	sees	for	this	year	.
pos	"	face	off	"	is	the	story	of	sean	archer	(	john	travolta	)	,	a	member	of	an	elite	secret	fbi	team	attempting	to	hunt	down	and	catch	castor	troy	(	nicholas	cage	)	,	one	really	vile	and	over	the	top	terrorist	(	of	course	,	who	isn't	in	today's	action	movies	)	.	in	the	opening	of	the	movie	we	watch	as	sean	gets	nailed	from	castor	troy	with	a	sniper's	bullet	.	unfortunately	,	while	sean	barely	survives	the	attack	,	his	son	doesn't	,	and	thus	sets	sean	on	a	life	long	pursuit	after	the	evil	castor	.	normal	action	movie	right	?	wrong	.	flashy	action	director	john	woo	(	somewhat	unsuccessfully	)	throws	the	audience	a	curveball	.	to	better	infiltrate	castor's	crime	syndicate	,	mainly	in	attempt	to	stop	a	bomb	going	off	in	the	middle	of	la	,	sean	uses	"	modern	day	technology	"	.	what	technology	you	ask	?	it's	not	just	rubber	noses	:	sean	literally	exchanges	his	own	face	with	the	face	of	castor	(	who	at	this	point	has	been	brought	into	justice	and	is	resting	peacefully	in	a	coma	)	.	sound	moderately	corny	?	it	is	,	and	no	matter	how	many	special	effects	john	woo	brings	into	the	mix	,	the	switch	still	seems	awkward	to	me	.	while	this	is	in	some	ways	a	pitfall	of	the	movie	,	fortunately	it	turns	around	to	make	the	movie	more	enjoyable	.	as	suspected	,	castor	gets	out	of	the	coma	,	and	takes	the	original	face	of	sean	archer	.	thus	for	the	majority	of	the	movie	,	you	have	literal	role	reversals	,	sean	appears	to	be	castor	,	and	vice	versa	.	more	importantly	however	,	the	audience	gets	to	see	john	travolta	acting	like	the	wild	nicholas	cage	we've	come	to	love	,	and	cage	play	the	more	straight	shooting	travolta	.	you	can	see	the	actors	are	having	a	good	time	in	their	roles	,	and	the	actors	play	wonderfully	off	each	other	.	now	the	real	question	:	how's	the	action	?	fortunately	,	it's	the	other	major	strength	of	the	movie	,	with	incredibly	original	sequences	,	from	speed	boats	to	planes	on	runways	.	john	woo	is	a	master	at	this	art	,	and	succeeds	in	creating	exciting	and	invigorating	shoot	outs	.	on	that	same	note	however	,	i	was	disappointed	in	that	what	i	believed	to	be	the	best	action	sequence	where	sean	is	attempting	to	intercept	castor	at	the	airport	is	the	first	sequence	of	the	movie	!	consequently	,	while	the	movie	opened	with	a	bang	,	i	was	a	little	let	down	by	the	remaining	action	sequences	.	and	on	a	minor	point	,	while	most	of	the	slow	motion	touches	are	nice	,	mr	.	woo	seems	to	be	a	little	too	obsessed	with	this	movie	making	quality	.	all	in	all	,	if	you	allow	yourself	to	be	wrapped	up	in	face	off's	vortex	,	you	may	look	back	at	a	few	parts	(	the	face	swapping	scene	comes	instantly	to	my	mind	)	with	skepticism	,	but	you'll	certainly	enjoy	the	two	hour	ride	.
pos	takeshi	kitano	is	truly	the	"	king	of	all	media	"	in	japan	,	where	he	has	conquered	the	worlds	of	film	,	television	,	radio	,	newspapers	,	even	stand	up	comedy	.	however	,	if	american	audiences	know	him	at	all	,	it	is	likely	for	his	villainous	role	in	the	putrid	cyberthriller	johnny	mnemonic	.	that	could	all	change	with	the	near	simultaneous	stateside	launches	of	two	of	his	writing	directing	editing	acting	efforts	,	sonatine	and	fireworks	(	hana	bi	)	.	notice	i	wrote	"	could	"	instead	of	"	will	"	or	"	should	,	"	because	kitano's	poetic	,	meditative	brand	of	filmmaking	will	probably	be	as	difficult	for	most	mainstream	audiences	to	sit	through	as	it	is	to	describe	(	at	the	showing	of	sonatine	i	attended	,	there	were	more	than	a	handful	of	walkouts	)	.	these	two	films	fit	squarely	within	a	genre	(	in	both	of	these	cases	,	crime	thriller	)	,	yet	they	are	made	in	a	stylized	,	lyrical	style	more	befitting	of	avant	garde	arthouse	fare	.	the	resulting	works	are	slow	and	somewhat	difficult	,	but	they	prove	to	be	rewarding	sits	for	the	more	open	minded	viewer	.	in	1993's	sonatine	,	kitano	(	billed	under	his	acting	moniker	"	'beat'	takeshi	"	)	plays	an	aging	small	time	gangster	dispatched	by	his	boss	to	go	to	okinawa	to	help	resolve	a	turf	conflict	.	after	an	ambush	,	a	double	cross	is	clearly	afoot	,	and	he	and	his	crew	of	rather	immature	young	men	retreat	to	a	seaside	cabin	.	it	is	during	this	section	that	most	people	departed	the	auditorium	,	but	it's	not	for	the	reasons	one	may	think	.	although	there	are	brief	bursts	of	bloody	violence	interspersed	throughout	the	film	,	what	(	for	lack	of	a	better	word	)	"	offended	"	was	the	attention	to	behavior	that	would	normally	be	deemed	too	trivial	to	be	shown	onscreen	.	kitano	spends	plenty	of	time	focusing	on	what	these	men	do	to	keep	themselves	from	complete	boredom	,	such	as	staging	mock	sumo	wrestling	matches	.	it	sounds	kind	of	boring	on	the	page	(	and	,	apparently	for	some	it's	boring	on	screen	as	well	)	,	but	the	quirky	humor	of	these	scenes	give	what	could	easily	be	a	tired	story	an	unusual	air	of	freshness	and	humanity	.	as	expertly	made	as	it	is	,	what	i	found	lacking	in	sonatine	was	any	emotional	connection	,	which	diminished	the	power	of	the	finale	.	the	same	cannot	be	said	of	kitano's	most	recent	effort	,	fireworks	(	hana	bi	)	.	in	this	film	,	kitano	,	in	a	nearly	silent	role	,	plays	a	former	cop	who	takes	his	terminally	ill	wife	(	kayoko	kishimoto	)	on	an	extended	road	trip	;	at	the	same	time	,	police	tail	him	for	a	bank	robbery	he	made	in	order	to	pay	off	a	mob	loan	shark	.	much	like	sonatine	,	the	film	moves	at	a	leisurely	pace	;	there	are	brief	,	unsettling	bursts	of	violence	;	and	laughs	are	derived	from	quirky	situations	and	behavior	.	but	fireworks	is	more	richly	satifying	to	the	emotions	and	the	senses	.	serving	as	a	counterpoint	to	the	main	plot	is	the	story	is	of	a	crippled	former	partner	(	ren	osugi	)	who	searches	for	meaning	through	painting	.	his	paintings	(	which	,	not	so	surprisingly	,	are	actually	painted	by	kitano	himself	)	are	extensively	viewed	in	haunting	wordless	sequences	,	which	provide	the	film	with	a	stunning	visual	framework	that	grows	increasingly	ominous	as	the	quietly	poignant	conclusion	draws	near	.	it	is	unlikely	that	the	films	of	takeshi	kitano	will	be	as	widely	embraced	by	american	viewers	as	those	of	hong	kong	directors	.	but	in	sonatine	and	fireworks	,	kitano	proves	to	be	a	gifted	cinematic	visionary	whose	truly	unique	work	deserves	stateside	recognition	,	even	if	that	recognition	comes	from	a	fairly	limited	,	though	highly	appreciative	,	audience	.
pos	review	by	scott	hunt	movie	hunt	:	a	href	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	a	cast	:	vin	diesel	,	radha	mitchell	,	keith	david	,	cole	hauser	,	rhiana	griffith	,	claudia	black	,	lewis	fitz	gerald	writers	:	david	twohy	,	ken	and	jim	wheat	director	:	david	twohy	pitch	black	is	a	sheep	in	wolf's	clothing	.	it	is	full	of	darkness	,	danger	and	violence	and	if	you	buy	into	the	marketing	hype	,	an	unsettling	and	scary	film	going	experience	.	don't	be	fooled	.	pitch	black	is	a	morality	play	masquerading	as	a	scare	fest	.	it	starts	off	with	blistering	intensity	.	a	cargo	spaceship	crash	lands	on	a	planet	apparently	leeched	of	life	by	the	scorching	heat	of	three	suns	.	among	the	survivors	is	fry	(	mitchell	)	,	the	ship's	pilot	,	who	spends	the	film	wrestling	with	the	fact	that	she	tried	to	jettison	the	other	passengers	in	her	effort	to	land	the	craft	safely	.	there	is	imam	(	david	)	,	an	islamic	leader	whose	faith	in	his	god	is	tested	repeatedly	throughout	the	film	.	there	is	a	law	enforcement	officer	in	the	form	of	johns	(	hauser	)	,	who	attacks	every	situation	with	square	jawed	authoritarian	zeal	.	and	there	is	riddick	(	diesel	)	,	a	menacing	,	muscle	bound	convicted	murderer	who's	being	brought	back	to	justice	by	johns	.	the	group	quickly	sizes	up	the	situation	and	each	other	.	confident	in	their	assessment	of	matters	,	a	plan	is	set	in	motion	to	escape	their	hellish	environment	.	those	plans	are	shredded	by	the	appearance	of	one	of	the	planet's	wildlife	,	a	predatory	,	sometimes	winged	,	species	that	enjoys	the	taste	of	blood	and	flesh	.	fortunately	,	the	creatures	are	light	sensitive	and	are	forced	to	live	in	networks	of	catacombs	under	the	planet's	surface	.	unfortunately	,	the	group	has	managed	to	land	on	the	planet	moments	before	an	eclipse	is	about	to	occur	,	taking	away	their	one	protection	from	the	monsters	.	the	group's	savior	comes	in	the	form	of	johns	,	whose	decisive	leadership	looks	to	deliver	them	from	purgatory	.	or	does	it	?	pitch	black	deviates	from	the	standard	sci	fi	fare	by	avoiding	some	of	the	stock	"	escape	the	boogieman	"	conflicts	the	genre	typically	serves	up	.	just	as	the	planet	gave	a	false	facade	of	lifelessness	,	first	appearances	given	by	the	survivors	proves	to	be	just	as	false	.	the	excitement	of	the	film	comes	not	from	the	danger	posed	by	the	creatures	,	but	rather	from	watching	the	shifting	allegiances	and	emotional	growth	of	the	characters	as	the	planet	serves	as	a	deus	ex	machina	of	sorts	to	catalyze	emotional	growth	.	a	recurrent	theme	runs	throughout	the	movie	of	faith	,	whether	it	be	religious	or	in	a	person	,	and	how	that	powers	their	motivations	.	i	found	it	telling	that	an	accidental	death	occurs	early	on	due	to	the	misperception	of	a	self	professed	atheist	.	conversely	,	imam	constantly	contributes	any	good	fortune	to	allah	.	one	by	one	,	his	perceived	heaven	sent	blessings	are	taken	away	and	crushed	.	imam	is	forced	to	reassess	his	faith	.	another	character	expresses	belief	in	god	,	along	with	a	life	long	hate	.	yet	another	character	makes	a	decision	that	echoes	the	sentiments	of	christ	about	selflessness	and	has	lasting	repercussions	for	several	of	group	.	it	is	a	fascinating	character	study	hiding	under	the	guise	of	a	scare	flick	.	special	mention	should	be	made	of	vin	diesel	,	who	intriguingly	conveys	feral	menace	combined	with	a	truly	mesmerizing	presence	.	his	character	could	have	easily	slipped	into	a	parody	of	the	baddass	killing	machine	,	but	twohy	and	diesel	add	surprising	depth	to	riddick	.	they	can	be	excused	for	the	two	or	three	shwarzenegger	like	catch	phrases	that	growl	their	way	out	of	diesel's	mouth	.	the	movie	has	its	flaws	that	can	be	nitpicked	.	the	creatures	do	look	derivative	of	the	ones	in	alien	.	the	dialogue	isn't	the	freshest	at	times	,	reminiscent	of	a	bad	comic	book	.	yes	,	the	appearance	of	riddick's	vision	skills	are	more	than	a	little	timely	considering	the	situation	.	these	trappings	are	on	the	periphery	of	the	story	twohy	is	really	trying	to	tell	.	twohy	may	have	lured	you	in	under	the	pretense	of	scaring	you	with	film	fabricated	boogieman	,	but	he	shows	the	real	boogieman	to	be	the	prejudices	and	beliefs	we	use	to	direct	decisions	in	our	lives	.
pos	one	of	kyle	mclachlan's	earlier	cinematic	features	,	this	movie	has	had	an	obvious	influence	on	such	films	as	the	terminator	(	8	10	)	,	species	(	7	10	)	and	the	more	recent	,	fallen	with	denzel	washington	.	plot	:	a	science	fiction	picture	set	in	modern	times	,	this	thriller	follows	the	exploits	of	an	"	entity	"	from	outer	space	,	who	likes	to	inhabit	human	bodies	,	use	them	up	until	they	are	completely	worn	out	,	and	then	switch	over	to	the	next	available	receptacle	.	fbi	agent	(	mclachlan	)	and	local	top	cop	(	nouri	)	are	charged	with	the	capture	of	this	"	thing	"	before	it's	too	late	.	critique	:	this	fast	paced	,	urban	equivalent	of	the	thing	(	8	10	)	,	checks	in	on	all	cylinders	for	ultra	violence	(	god	knows	how	many	people	died	in	this	movie	)	,	action	and	an	overall	rock	'n	roll	attitude	.	then	again	,	how	can	you	go	wrong	with	an	"	alien	"	that	likes	the	ferraris	,	guns	,	heavy	metal	music	and	sexy	girls	?	!	granted	,	the	plot	isn't	the	most	elaborate	of	tales	(	alien	bad	,	find	alien	,	kill	alien	)	,	but	i	can	honestly	say	that	i	was	never	once	bored	during	the	viewing	of	this	entire	picture	.	i	wouldn't	recommend	it	to	those	who	don't	like	car	chases	,	murders	,	and	bland	acting	,	but	for	all	the	rest	of	you	out	there	,	those	who	enjoy	putting	away	their	brains	every	now	and	again	,	sitting	back	,	slamming	back	some	salsa'd	nachos	,	and	relishing	in	the	cheeze	some	call	film	.	.	.	have	a	blast	!	!	two	scenes	to	watch	for	are	both	within	the	first	ten	minutes	of	this	gore	fest	.	the	opening	sequence	is	one	of	the	most	rockin'	scenes	to	open	any	action	movie	,	and	the	subsequent	extra	terrestrial	"	transformation	"	is	another	eye	catcher	.	even	the	late	80's	special	effects	were	okay	.	followed	by	the	hidden	ii	in	1994	.	little	known	facts	:	this	film	was	kyle	maclachlan's	first	non	david	lynch	foray	into	the	world	of	feature	films	.	his	first	two	movie	appearances	were	in	lynch's	wretched	dune	(	4	10	)	and	the	sensational	blue	velvet	(	8	.	5	10	)	hr	visit	joblo's	movie	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	a
pos	well	,	i	know	that	stallone	is	50	years	old	now	,	but	in	daylight	he	doesn't	look	it	!	daylight	is	a	great	disaster	movie	.	if	you've	seen	cliffhanger	,	you'll	know	stallone's	character	already	.	a	guy	with	a	bad	past	,	but	is	in	the	right	place	at	the	wrong	time	.	a	tunnel	connecting	new	york	and	new	jersey	has	both	sides	collapses	when	a	group	of	robbers	collide	with	a	truck	carrying	very	flammable	toxic	waste	.	a	dozen	or	so	people	survive	the	collapses	and	the	incinerating	fireball	(	and	what	a	fire	ball	it	was	!	)	stallone	,	a	former	emergency	medical	service	man	,	is	chauffeuring	a	rich	couple	around	,	when	they	reach	the	outside	of	the	tunnel	,	before	the	explosion	.	then	,	30	minutes	into	the	movie	,	boom	!	from	here	on	,	the	plot	takes	a	back	seat	,	and	we	are	treated	to	some	of	the	best	camera	work	and	action	staged	.	most	all	the	action	is	plausible	and	will	hold	you	at	the	edge	of	your	seat	.	there	are	a	few	melodramatic	parts	here	,	but	,	they	tend	to	work	out	well	.	there	is	no	general	antagonist	in	this	film	,	but	the	action	and	suspense	makes	you	forget	all	about	that	.	daylight	is	a	great	film	,	i	saw	a	non	matinee	showing	of	it	,	and	i	thought	it	was	worth	every	penny	.	the	characterizations	are	mostly	flat	,	one	dimesional	,	but	they	have	enough	in	them	to	get	you	to	care	for	some	of	the	characters	.	rob	cohen	(	dragonheart	)	does	a	great	job	with	this	film	.
pos	the	people	of	david	riker's	the	city	(	la	ciudad	)	are	easily	recognizable	:	poor	destitute	mexican	immigrants	living	in	listless	boroughs	of	new	york	city	.	and	the	director's	careful	,	patient	examination	of	their	incessant	,	daily	struggle	to	survive	by	taking	any	job	they	can	get	constitutes	most	of	what	the	film	is	about	.	the	city	is	comprised	of	four	short	vignettes	,	all	very	poetic	in	their	open	endedness	.	in	the	first	one	,	bricks	,	a	group	of	mexican	laborers	is	taken	to	the	field	of	nearly	ruined	buildings	.	they	are	left	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	and	promised	50	dollars	a	day	for	cleaning	up	bricks	.	when	the	ruins	of	a	demolished	building	collapse	and	kill	one	of	the	workers	,	the	rest	can't	even	explain	to	the	ambulance	where	they	are	.	home	,	the	second	story	,	offers	another	look	at	the	immigrant	dilemma	.	a	young	man	,	francisco	,	while	searching	for	his	distant	relatives	,	stumbles	into	a	party	and	ponders	about	his	choice	of	coming	to	america	to	a	woman	he	meets	.	he	doesn't	know	anyone	in	the	city	and	all	his	possessions	fit	in	one	bag	he	carries	with	him	.	the	moment	of	comfort	he	obtains	by	sharing	his	sorrows	with	a	woman	from	his	native	town	in	mexico	is	fleeting	he	is	lost	on	his	way	from	a	grocery	store	back	to	her	apartment	.	the	protagonist	of	the	puppeteer	is	a	loving	father	,	who	lives	with	his	daughter	in	a	car	and	survives	by	performing	puppet	shows	to	the	local	kids	in	the	neighborhood	.	they	watch	the	moon	at	night	while	the	father	reads	fairy	tales	to	his	daughter	,	hoping	that	some	day	she	will	be	able	to	go	to	school	with	the	other	kids	.	she	won't	,	as	it	turns	out	,	because	he	can't	provide	a	receipt	proving	that	his	daughter	lives	in	the	city	.	the	final	and	the	most	desolate	is	the	story	of	seamstress	,	a	woman	who	comes	to	america	to	earn	money	for	the	family	she	left	behind	.	she	is	devastated	to	find	out	that	her	daughter	is	sick	,	but	,	as	in	the	previous	three	tales	,	her	situation	is	hopeless	:	the	sweatshop	owners	keep	promising	to	pay	,	but	it's	obvious	that	the	woman	,	as	well	as	the	other	desperate	workers	,	will	not	get	a	cent	for	their	labor	.	the	stories	of	this	spare	,	reserved	documentary	like	black	and	white	film	give	face	to	the	faceless	,	to	those	aspects	of	urban	and	,	most	importantly	,	human	experience	we	usually	avert	our	eyes	from	.	riker	turns	to	traditions	of	italian	neorealism	,	a	genre	whose	premise	was	to	bring	real	people	and	contemporary	social	problems	into	focus	.	like	most	films	of	that	era	,	the	city	expresses	no	hopes	for	deep	social	change	and	is	thus	an	incredibly	inert	film	.	it	is	authentic	,	somber	and	tragic	,	and	the	poverty	it	depicts	could	have	been	captured	anywhere	in	the	world	.	the	fatalism	that	pervades	the	lives	of	riker's	characters	calls	for	a	depressing	conclusion	:	that	nothing	will	ever	change	for	these	people	.	when	a	seamstress	demands	to	be	paid	,	other	workers	stop	working	and	stare	at	her	breakdown	in	the	agonizing	silence	.	not	being	paid	for	weeks	,	without	any	security	in	their	lives	,	will	they	express	solidarity	with	her	?	probably	not	.	david	riker	does	nothing	to	pull	your	heartstrings	,	which	is	why	the	film	is	so	honest	and	devastating	.	but	it	is	the	absence	of	any	kind	of	inner	force	in	the	film	that	disturbs	me	more	than	its	morbid	subject	matter	.	i	remember	john	huston's	fat	city	,	about	two	fighters	from	stockton	:	one	is	aging	and	paunchy	,	who	had	his	moment	of	glory	but	whose	next	stop	is	skid	row	;	his	young	counterpart	has	chosen	the	same	fate	,	despite	the	living	lesson	before	his	eyes	.	stockton	is	not	new	york	no	one	in	their	right	mind	will	ever	go	there	,	and	fat	city	isn't	about	immigrants	,	but	about	failure	and	poverty	.	it	is	a	brutal	and	bleak	picture	,	but	the	way	huston	depicts	his	characters	is	dramatically	different	from	riker	:	it	is	a	film	about	people	who	are	beaten	before	they	start	,	but	who	never	stop	fighting	.	their	despair	has	the	smell	of	liquor	,	unmade	beds	,	and	cheap	hotels	,	but	they	obstinately	bounce	back	and	refuse	to	take	defeat	for	granted	.	it	is	perhaps	the	passivity	of	la	ciudad	,	both	in	content	and	style	,	that	makes	this	film	a	bittersweet	disappointment	.
pos	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	max	messier	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	d7665b014d292aff8825684b000a1cf2	?	opendocument	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	d7665b014d292aff8825684b000a1cf2	?	opendocument	a	my	assumption	is	that	every	generation	needs	their	own	version	of	the	film	the	king	and	i	.	my	grandparents	had	rex	harrison	,	my	parents	had	yul	brynner	,	and	now	my	generation	has	chow	yun	fat	.	hold	the	phone	right	there	,	mister	.	chow	yun	fat	.	.	.	isn't	he	that	the	guy	from	those	crazy	,	violent	,	hong	kong	action	movies	by	john	woo	?	fear	not	,	kind	reader	,	for	chow	yun	fat	commands	the	role	made	famous	for	all	these	years	and	gives	both	harrison	and	brynner	a	run	for	their	money	.	when	i	watch	chow	yun	fat	,	one	person	comes	to	mind	:	steve	mcqueen	.	watching	chow	move	across	the	screen	and	establish	his	presence	strongly	echoes	the	attitude	and	the	acting	style	of	mcqueen	.	upon	the	viewer's	first	impression	of	the	king	of	siam	,	chow	is	the	complete	image	of	royalty	in	eastern	asia	.	his	curt	,	rigid	mannerisms	and	omnipotent	status	as	king	are	delivered	strongly	with	simple	,	direct	looks	.	this	attitude	clearly	draws	the	line	between	the	customs	of	the	east	and	west	.	as	the	film	progresses	,	i	watched	chow	evolve	from	this	distant	,	commanding	presence	to	an	emotional	,	tangible	creature	that	,	with	an	honest	glance	,	can	covey	passionate	love	for	his	family	and	for	his	country	.	the	chemistry	between	the	king	and	anna	is	made	concrete	by	jodie	foster's	amazing	acting	abilities	.	she	encompasses	fully	the	role	of	a	victorian	lady	born	and	bred	in	england	.	her	staunch	avocation	towards	defending	her	actions	and	securing	proper	respect	from	the	king	is	fueled	by	the	directness	of	foster's	character	.	foster	projects	a	silent	understanding	of	the	king's	actions	towards	his	family	and	strives	to	communicate	with	him	on	an	equal	level	.	she	brings	to	the	role	a	hidden	sorrow	that	is	shared	by	the	king	,	and	this	sorrow	lets	them	draw	closer	to	one	another	.	her	reservations	towards	temptation	are	laid	bare	and	chow	supplements	the	situations	with	his	own	reservations	towards	love	for	another	person	.	the	main	issue	with	films	that	deal	with	an	epic	theme	one	that	requires	grandiose	set	constructions	,	hundreds	upon	thousands	of	extras	,	an	amazing	selection	of	costumes	and	jewelry	,	and	exotic	locations	is	that	it	can	all	fail	with	the	wrong	director	behind	the	camera	.	with	all	the	amazing	acting	achieved	by	chow	yun	fat	and	jodie	foster	and	complex	character	development	they	pull	off	so	well	in	the	film	,	anna	and	the	king	has	the	wrong	director	for	the	job	.	this	is	where	my	main	criticism	for	the	film	lies	.	andy	tennant	,	from	such	hits	as	fools	rush	in	,	that	crazy	salma	hayek	comedy	,	and	ever	after	,	must	have	gotten	his	directing	credentials	out	of	a	crackerjack	box	.	the	emotional	impact	of	many	intimate	scenes	between	chow	and	foster	were	lacking	one	thing	:	intimacy	.	tennant	never	draws	close	to	the	character's	faces	and	i	felt	distant	and	removed	from	most	of	the	scenes	.	the	acting	of	chow	and	foster	held	strong	conviction	for	me	,	but	the	inclusion	of	these	images	would	have	left	a	greater	impression	.	tennant	also	lets	the	actors	move	within	the	scene	without	letting	the	camera	move	with	them	,	but	this	only	instills	greater	remoteness	towards	the	audience	.	another	main	fault	is	the	film's	script	.	i'm	not	to	sure	that	this	subject	matter	should	have	been	handed	over	to	two	guys	,	steve	meerson	and	peter	krikes	,	whose	last	film	was	star	trek	iv	:	the	voyage	home	.	i	could	just	see	the	first	treatments	of	the	film	:	kirk	to	spock	,	put	the	phasers	on	stun	because	the	king	of	siam	needs	our	help	to	rid	his	country	of	imperialist	forces	uniting	against	him	in	a	deadly	trade	war'	.	dammnit	jim	,	i'm	a	doctor	not	a	political	advisor	!	'	this	political	struggle'	of	chow's	king	mongkut	between	british	imperialism	and	the	internal	power	struggles	of	his	kingdom	adds	only	a	distraction	to	the	film's	main	focus	of	the	unrequited	love	people	can	hold	for	one	another	.	when	it	attempts	to	give	partial	validation	to	the	love	of	the	king	and	anna	by	their	uniting	to	overcome	this	power	struggle	,	'	the	film	becomes	trite	and	reaches	resolution	without	fanfare	or	emotional	involvement	from	the	audience	.	overall	,	the	film	is	commendable	for	the	acting	of	chow	and	foster	and	the	impressive	set	and	costume	designs	of	the	film	.	anna	and	the	king	should	also	provide	chow	yun	fat	the	ability	to	finally	move	into	a	stronger	category	of	american	actors	and	achieve	the	notoriety	he	has	held	for	so	long	in	the	east	.	would	that	it	did	more	for	the	audience	.
pos	copyright	2001	planet	sick	boy	.	all	rights	reserved	.	films	adapted	from	comic	books	have	had	plenty	of	success	,	whether	they're	about	superheroes	(	batman	,	superman	,	spawn	)	,	or	geared	toward	kids	(	casper	)	or	the	arthouse	crowd	(	ghost	world	)	,	but	there's	never	really	been	a	comic	book	like	from	hell	before	.	for	starters	,	it	was	created	by	alan	moore	(	and	eddie	campbell	)	,	who	brought	the	medium	to	a	whole	new	level	in	the	mid	'80s	with	a	12	part	series	called	the	watchmen	.	to	say	moore	and	campbell	thoroughly	researched	the	subject	of	jack	the	ripper	would	be	like	saying	michael	jackson	is	starting	to	look	a	little	odd	.	the	book	(	or	"	graphic	novel	,	"	if	you	will	)	is	over	500	pages	long	and	includes	nearly	30	more	that	consist	of	nothing	but	footnotes	.	in	other	words	,	don't	dismiss	this	film	because	of	its	source	.	if	you	can	get	past	the	whole	comic	book	thing	,	you	might	find	another	stumbling	block	in	from	hell's	directors	,	albert	and	allen	hughes	.	getting	the	hughes	brothers	to	direct	this	seems	almost	as	ludicrous	as	casting	carrot	top	in	,	well	,	anything	,	but	riddle	me	this	:	who	better	to	direct	a	film	that's	set	in	the	ghetto	and	features	really	violent	street	crime	than	the	mad	geniuses	behind	menace	ii	society	?	the	ghetto	in	question	is	,	of	course	,	whitechapel	in	1888	london's	east	end	.	it's	a	filthy	,	sooty	place	where	the	whores	(	called	"	unfortunates	"	)	are	starting	to	get	a	little	nervous	about	this	mysterious	psychopath	who	has	been	carving	through	their	profession	with	surgical	precision	.	when	the	first	stiff	turns	up	,	copper	peter	godley	(	robbie	coltrane	,	the	world	is	not	enough	)	calls	in	inspector	frederick	abberline	(	johnny	depp	,	blow	)	to	crack	the	case	.	abberline	,	a	widower	,	has	prophetic	dreams	he	unsuccessfully	tries	to	quell	with	copious	amounts	of	absinthe	and	opium	.	upon	arriving	in	whitechapel	,	he	befriends	an	unfortunate	named	mary	kelly	(	heather	graham	,	say	it	isn't	so	)	and	proceeds	to	investigate	the	horribly	gruesome	crimes	that	even	the	police	surgeon	can't	stomach	.	i	don't	think	anyone	needs	to	be	briefed	on	jack	the	ripper	,	so	i	won't	go	into	the	particulars	here	,	other	than	to	say	moore	and	campbell	have	a	unique	and	interesting	theory	about	both	the	identity	of	the	killer	and	the	reasons	he	chooses	to	slay	.	in	the	comic	,	they	don't	bother	cloaking	the	identity	of	the	ripper	,	but	screenwriters	terry	hayes	(	vertical	limit	)	and	rafael	yglesias	(	les	misrables	)	do	a	good	job	of	keeping	him	hidden	from	viewers	until	the	very	end	.	it's	funny	to	watch	the	locals	blindly	point	the	finger	of	blame	at	jews	and	indians	because	,	after	all	,	an	englishman	could	never	be	capable	of	committing	such	ghastly	acts	.	and	from	hell's	ending	had	me	whistling	the	stonecutters	song	from	the	simpsons	for	days	(	"	who	holds	back	the	electric	car	who	made	steve	guttenberg	a	star	?	"	)	.	don't	worry	it'll	all	make	sense	when	you	see	it	.	now	onto	from	hell's	appearance	:	it's	certainly	dark	and	bleak	enough	,	and	it's	surprising	to	see	how	much	more	it	looks	like	a	tim	burton	film	than	planet	of	the	apes	did	(	at	times	,	it	seems	like	sleepy	hollow	2	)	.	the	print	i	saw	wasn't	completely	finished	(	both	color	and	music	had	not	been	finalized	,	so	no	comments	about	marilyn	manson	)	,	but	cinematographer	peter	deming	(	don't	say	a	word	)	ably	captures	the	dreariness	of	victorian	era	london	and	helped	make	the	flashy	killing	scenes	remind	me	of	the	crazy	flashbacks	in	twin	peaks	,	even	though	the	violence	in	the	film	pales	in	comparison	to	that	in	the	black	and	white	comic	.	oscar	winner	martin	childs'	(	shakespeare	in	love	)	production	design	turns	the	original	prague	surroundings	into	one	creepy	place	.	even	the	acting	in	from	hell	is	solid	,	with	the	dreamy	depp	turning	in	a	typically	strong	performance	and	deftly	handling	a	british	accent	.	ians	holm	(	joe	gould's	secret	)	and	richardson	(	102	dalmatians	)	log	in	great	supporting	roles	,	but	the	big	surprise	here	is	graham	.	i	cringed	the	first	time	she	opened	her	mouth	,	imagining	her	attempt	at	an	irish	accent	,	but	it	actually	wasn't	half	bad	.	the	film	,	however	,	is	all	good	.	2	:	00	r	for	strong	violence	gore	,	sexuality	,	language	and	drug	content
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	entertainment	distribution	on	april	21	,	2000	;	certificate	18	;	101	minutes	;	countries	of	origin	canada	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	mary	harron	;	produced	by	chris	hanley	,	edward	r	.	pressman	,	christian	halsley	solomon	.	written	by	mary	harron	,	guinevere	turner	;	based	on	the	novel	by	bret	easton	ellis	.	photographed	by	andrjez	sekula	;	edited	by	andrew	marcus	.	patrick	bateman	is	someone	tom	wolfe	might	have	come	up	with	if	he	had	written	his	books	on	acid	.	he's	an	arrogant	suit	from	wall	street	obsessed	with	physical	fitness	,	facial	care	products	,	designer	clothing	and	expensive	restaurants	.	and	scoring	cocaine	.	and	misogyny	.	oh	,	and	he	likes	to	mutilate	people	,	and	play	around	with	their	guts	,	too	.	the	character	is	the	creation	of	bret	easton	ellis	,	whose	1991	novel	"	american	psycho	"	was	set	amid	the	manhattan	yuppie	scene	of	the	late	1980s	.	the	book	was	twisted	,	but	it	needed	to	be	,	because	it	had	extreme	things	to	say	.	ellis	saw	the	widespread	obsessive	egoism	and	greed	of	the	me	decade	as	dangerously	sick	,	and	his	vision	of	its	potential	to	produce	vicious	murderers	makes	a	fair	amount	of	sense	.	after	all	,	any	idiotic	businessmen	who	made	enough	bucks	could	follow	their	every	impulse	and	shit	on	whomever	they	wanted	to	,	and	their	attitude	was	championed	as	fashionable	.	now	"	american	psycho	"	is	a	film	directed	by	mary	harron	,	with	christian	bale	in	the	lead	role	.	as	in	the	source	material	,	bateman	divides	his	time	between	working	out	,	making	lunch	appointments	,	sitting	around	in	his	office	and	butchering	fellow	new	yorkers	.	onscreen	we	see	him	stabbing	a	homeless	man	and	a	female	acquaintance	,	decapitating	a	hooker	with	a	chainsaw	,	blowing	up	a	crowd	of	cops	,	chopping	up	one	of	his	colleagues	with	an	axe	and	telling	us	about	numerous	other	crimes	.	even	when	a	private	detective	(	willem	dafoe	)	starts	investigating	the	disappearances	,	though	,	bateman	never	comes	close	to	being	caught	.	why	would	anyone	suspect	a	'normal'	,	standard	,	efficient	young	capitalist	earner	of	criminal	activity	?	the	killings	in	the	story	hammer	home	in	a	jarring	manner	the	message	of	how	inhuman	bateman	and	his	ilk	are	;	although	his	chums	don't	kill	people	or	know	that	he's	doing	so	,	they	do	share	his	level	of	detachment	from	decent	values	.	most	of	the	film	illustrates	this	through	black	humour	.	in	one	scene	,	for	example	,	a	group	of	men	use	their	business	cards	for	a	vanity	contest	,	comparing	them	like	cowboys	showing	off	the	sizes	of	their	guns	.	the	problem	with	the	comedy	in	the	film	is	that	harron	doesn't	trust	the	material	to	be	intrinsically	funny	,	and	has	her	actors	deliver	lines	in	broad	,	goofy	tones	,	making	clear	they're	in	on	the	joke	.	that	doesn't	prevent	us	from	laughing	,	but	it	does	affect	the	satirical	power	of	many	moments	we	giggle	mainly	because	the	characters	are	talking	in	a	preposterous	manner	,	rather	than	because	they're	saying	preposterous	things	.	since	almost	every	scene	is	performed	in	this	silly	way	,	the	film	is	nowhere	near	as	intense	as	the	novel	.	if	we	laugh	at	the	characters'	paper	thin	morals	,	that's	the	extent	of	our	reaction	;	harron	doesn't	let	us	give	them	enough	thought	to	also	be	appalled	by	them	.	you	could	take	the	murders	out	of	her	"	american	psycho	"	and	it	would	be	the	same	movie	its	purpose	is	to	merely	point	at	the	vacant	pomposity	of	the	male	yuppie	,	and	ridicule	it	.	still	,	on	that	level	the	movie	works	well	.	although	it	is	a	missed	opportunity	(	ellis's	angry	expression	of	the	madness	of	the	situation	was	more	affecting	)	,	it	is	at	least	an	entertaining	deflation	of	white	collar	stuffed	shirts	,	and	those	guys	can	be	the	most	despicable	of	people	.	i	see	them	all	the	time	in	bars	and	restaurants	,	thinking	their	suits	make	them	mature	,	arrogantly	raising	their	voices	,	telling	stupid	childish	jokes	to	each	other	,	rambling	in	stockbroker	jargon	that	they	think	impresses	onlookers	.	and	now	,	whenever	that	happens	,	i	can	smile	to	myself	that	someone	else	in	the	vicinity	will	have	probably	seen	this	movie	,	and	will	be	laughing	inside	at	what	morons	it	shows	them	to	be	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	if	the	current	trends	of	hollywood	filmmaking	continue	,	we	are	probably	five	or	six	years	away	from	the	moment	when	the	1980s	would	become	the	next	golden	age	of	movie	nostalgia	.	although	some	hollywood	products	already	use	the	last	decade	as	a	background	for	their	stories	(	mostly	in	ironic	way	,	like	grosse	pointe	blank	and	romy	michelle's	high	school	reunion	)	,	some	time	should	pass	before	the	good	memories	of	that	era	overcome	the	bad	ones	.	until	that	happens	,	1980s	would	be	remembered	as	the	decade	of	greed	,	when	the	revolutionary	ideals	of	1960s	turned	into	its	cruel	,	materialistic	opposite	and	the	money	became	the	only	thing	that	matters	.	contemporary	movies	are	good	in	illustrating	what	was	bad	for	the	people	who	had	to	live	in	those	times	.	one	of	such	movies	,	one	that	probably	brings	the	essence	of	1980s	to	the	screen	,	is	william	friedkin's	to	live	and	die	in	l	.	a	.	the	money	isn't	just	the	symbolic	motive	in	the	film	,	it	is	the	major	elements	of	the	plot	.	rick	masters	(	willem	dafoe	)	is	an	ex	convict	who	used	his	artistic	abilities	in	order	to	become	one	of	the	best	counterfeiters	in	l	.	a	.	being	too	intelligent	to	fall	into	police	traps	,	and	ruthless	enough	to	eliminate	anybody	or	anything	that	could	jeopardise	his	career	,	masters	managed	to	elude	law	for	years	and	became	well	connected	.	richard	chance	(	william	l	.	petersen	)	is	a	secret	service	agent	,	adrenaline	junkie	whose	life	gets	new	meaning	after	his	partner	got	killed	by	masters	.	however	,	his	plans	of	bringing	the	counterfeiter	down	meet	one	obstacle	after	another	.	finally	he	sets	up	a	final	sting	,	but	his	superiors	deny	him	the	necessary	money	.	being	frustrated	,	and	against	the	reluctance	of	his	new	partner	john	vukovich	(	bill	pankow	)	,	he	decides	to	get	the	money	by	robbing	underworld	courier	.	their	plan	backfires	with	almost	tragic	consequences	when	their	target	turns	out	to	be	undercover	fbi	agent	,	but	chance	decides	to	carry	out	his	scheme	anyway	.	like	french	connection	,	one	of	his	previous	masterpieces	,	this	friedkin's	movie	was	inspired	by	real	life	.	gerrald	petievich	,	author	of	the	novel	that	later	served	as	basis	for	his	screenplay	,	spent	many	years	working	as	a	secret	service	agent	.	that	turned	to	be	useful	for	the	portrayal	of	that	law	enforcement	agency	,	not	much	utilised	by	hollywood	.	secret	service	millieu	was	also	cleverly	used	in	order	to	bring	the	viewer	into	the	decade	of	greed	;	the	beginning	scene	where	the	movie's	hero	works	as	a	part	of	presidential	security	detail	is	a	nice	opportunity	to	hear	reagan's	speech	that	could	illustrate	the	political	and	economical	notions	of	those	times	.	ultramaterialistic	and	egotistical	view	of	the	world	is	shared	by	almost	any	character	in	the	movie	.	willem	dafoe	brilliantly	portrays	dangerous	and	intelligent	psychopath	,	whose	ruthlessness	and	lack	of	any	moral	fibber	doesn't	seem	like	affliction	in	the	reagan	years	;	on	the	contrary	,	those	qualities	actually	makes	masters	socially	acceptable	.	compared	with	him	,	and	all	the	other	side	characters	that	want	their	"	piece	of	the	action	"	,	two	heroes	on	the	side	of	law	seem	like	losers	.	instead	of	being	a	classical	good	guy	,	secret	service	agent	richard	chance	(	portrayed	by	william	petersen	in	his	most	impressive	role	so	far	)	is	nothing	more	than	a	lunatic	whose	adrenaline	addiction	and	madness	work	against	his	better	judgement	;	his	sidekick	,	who	should	serve	as	those	"	better	judgement	"	is	a	weakling	and	sentimental	fool	that	gets	suckered	in	the	end	.	in	such	surroundings	of	moral	decay	,	the	not	so	happy	,	yet	surprising	ending	doesn't	seem	out	of	line	(	although	the	very	last	shot	leaves	too	much	questions	unanswered	)	.	the	dark	atmosphere	of	l	.	a	.	city	of	glamour	and	moral	decay	is	nicely	captured	by	william	friedkin's	directing	skills	.	the	tight	and	realistic	scripts	with	memorable	characters	(	portrayed	by	such	capable	actors	like	john	turturro	,	dean	stockwell	,	debra	feuer	,	darlanne	fleugel	and	steve	james	)	gave	opportunity	for	friedkin	to	use	another	gimmick	that	made	him	famous	in	his	1971	masterpiece	great	car	chase	.	that	scene	alone	,	with	lot	of	realism	,	thrills	and	surprise	twists	,	is	worth	seeing	the	rest	of	the	film	.	the	soundtrack	,	provided	by	now	almost	forgotten	band	"	wang	chung	"	,	is	also	one	of	the	more	memorable	of	that	decade	.	in	every	case	,	to	live	and	die	in	l	.	a	.	is	one	of	the	rare	movies	in	which	hollywood	actually	tries	to	tell	some	unflattering	truths	about	the	world	and	succeeds	in	it	.
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	cornerhouse	(	manchester	)	released	in	the	uk	by	uip	on	january	28	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	109	minutes	;	country	of	origin	uk	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	michael	winterbottom	;	produced	by	michelle	camarda	.	written	by	laurence	cordiat	.	photographed	by	sean	bobbitt	;	edited	by	trevor	waite	.	there	is	a	school	of	thought	that	believes	striving	for	reality	in	art	is	not	a	worthwhile	pursuit	.	i've	never	understood	why	;	we	live	in	reality	,	we	connect	with	it	,	it's	exciting	.	think	of	all	the	types	of	situations	you	find	yourself	in	every	week	there'll	always	be	some	forms	of	happiness	,	sadness	,	expectation	,	disappointment	,	serenity	,	tumult	,	calm	and	anger	.	life	,	to	use	a	horrible	clich	,	dear	friends	,	is	an	emotional	roller	coaster	!	"	wonderland	"	is	glorious	proof	of	that	,	a	film	of	scruffy	beauty	and	spellbinding	power	,	which	seems	constructed	to	capture	the	appeal	of	eavesdropping	.	that	pastime	is	involving	,	of	course	,	because	of	our	instinctive	fascination	with	humanity	;	this	movie	uses	the	same	hook	,	diving	into	the	lives	of	several	londoners	,	all	of	whom	are	connected	by	family	ties	,	but	are	at	different	stages	of	their	lives	and	have	different	occupations	.	nadia	(	gina	mckee	)	is	an	attractive	but	lonely	waitress	,	who	places	a	lot	of	personal	ads	but	allows	herself	to	get	upset	every	time	she	goes	on	a	date	.	one	of	her	sisters	,	molly	(	molly	parker	)	,	is	married	and	pregnant	;	the	other	,	debbie	(	shirley	henderson	)	,	is	raising	her	son	alone	.	their	parents	are	eileen	(	kika	markham	)	and	bill	(	jack	shepherd	)	,	two	pathetically	unhappy	people	who	mope	around	the	house	,	and	occasionally	cringe	;	because	of	barking	dogs	,	broken	appliances	,	boredom	or	simple	fear	of	leaving	the	house	.	we	also	meet	up	with	partners	and	ex	partners	,	friends	,	acquaintances	,	neighbours	,	estranged	relatives	,	colleagues	.	.	.	"	wonderland	"	never	announces	itself	as	a	definite	study	of	anything	in	particular	,	which	gives	it	the	freedom	to	roam	around	,	to	spy	on	whomever's	interesting	.	the	director	,	michael	winterbottom	,	shoots	everything	in	a	grainy	,	hand	held	,	almost	camcorder	style	which	makes	events	seem	imparted	to	us	from	the	inside	out	,	rather	than	staged	and	shot	.	it's	as	if	invisible	camera	crews	had	been	ceaselessly	exploring	london	.	it's	essential	to	the	sense	that	we're	watching	real	people	who	aren't	aware	of	our	presence	.	this	could	have	come	across	as	solemn	and	grimy	,	like	any	of	those	pathetic	tv	documentaries	that	follow	losers	around	their	places	of	work	and	play	.	but	in	between	the	quiet	,	sober	scenes	are	astounding	sequences	where	the	camera	submerges	in	neon	light	,	the	editing	plays	around	with	cutting	and	speed	,	and	michael	nyman's	grand	score	soars	on	the	soundtrack	.	the	whole	movie	uses	london	as	a	backdrop	,	letting	us	unconsciously	absorb	it	;	these	grand	musical	moments	explicitly	rejoice	in	the	city's	strange	beauty	,	and	announce	that	the	film	is	not	scrutinising	life	,	but	gazing	at	it	in	wonderment	.	so	music	is	an	important	tone	setter	in	"	wonderland	"	but	it's	always	kept	for	these	side	moments	,	and	never	interferes	with	the	drama	.	scenes	do	not	follow	typical	hollywood	constructions	;	there	isn't	a	little	climax	every	five	minutes	,	characters	don't	subtly	recap	their	situations	to	each	other	to	let	the	audience	know	what's	going	on	.	everything	plays	out	at	a	realistic	pace	,	and	we	get	our	bearings	by	picking	up	on	mood	,	tone	,	emotions	.	winterbottom	,	his	actors	,	and	even	his	extras	,	have	a	knack	for	capturing	the	way	conversational	rhythms	actually	do	sound	in	homes	,	hairdressers'	shops	and	pubs	;	on	dates	,	the	phone	,	and	everywhere	else	the	story	goes	.	and	that	is	why	this	beautiful	film	has	been	made	.	it	is	a	devoted	record	of	modern	human	behaviour	.	i	dreaded	that	there	would	be	some	hugely	inappropriate	surprise	plot	development	near	the	ending	,	but	no	winterbottom	and	screenwriter	laurence	cordiat	know	that	most	of	us	don't	end	a	typical	weekend	by	stumbling	into	life	changing	experiences	.	"	wonderland	"	is	such	an	acute	observance	of	people	that	it	makes	us	confront	our	essential	feelings	about	our	fellow	man	.	and	to	any	foreigners	out	there	,	wondering	what	it's	like	to	be	in	britain	just	take	a	look	at	this	movie	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantganiplease	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	as	antiquated	as	the	formula	is	,	i'm	surprised	hollywood	keeps	it	around	:	wife	cheats	on	abusive	spouse	and	,	instead	of	leaving	him	,	convinces	her	lover	to	kill	him	so	they	can	be	together	and	get	all	his	money	.	or	,	roles	can	be	switched	and	jealous	husband	can	be	the	one	doing	the	plotting	.	as	is	the	case	with	murder	,	nicely	conceived	and	gamely	acted	.	douglas	plays	a	businessman	,	steven	taylor	.	his	business	is	about	to	go	bankrupt	.	his	wife	,	emily	(	paltrow	)	,	is	having	an	affair	with	a	painter	across	town	,	named	david	(	the	expressionless	mortensen	)	.	they	plan	to	let	steven	in	on	it	she	more	than	he	:	"	it's	not	fair	to	him	"	.	but	,	steven	is	no	dupe	.	though	,	how	he	knows	,	or	even	suspects	,	enough	to	have	the	two	photographed	during	an	afternoon	rendezvous	,	is	never	explained	.	standard	stuff	.	but	,	the	movie	has	smart	,	thinking	individuals	.	like	douglas	,	who	has	his	plan	to	do	away	with	his	wife	down	to	how	and	why	to	do	what	with	keys	.	and	,	mortensen	a	scamster	who	agrees	to	do	the	"	wet	work	"	,	but	has	plans	,	also	.	every	detail	of	the	murder	plot	,	and	the	complications	that	inevitably	arise	,	seems	to	be	coherent	and	logical	,	and	it's	kind	of	fun	watching	the	genre	played	out	intelligently	for	once	.	i	liked	someof	the	physical	acting	between	paltrow	and	mortensen	,	as	during	an	art	exhibition	where	he	sees	her	,	starts	walking	toward	her	and	she	inconspicuously	waves	him	off	.	then	,	once	they've	met	in	the	corner	,	and	douglas	comes	upon	them	,	they	act	completely	natural	and	never	give	any	sort	of	nervous	reaction	that	maybe	he	knows	.	and	i	liked	the	way	douglas	seemed	to	have	everything	figured	out	,	and	together	.	he's	able	to	verbally	explain	his	motives	with	well	chosen	words	.	i	like	dialogue	where	people	come	at	the	subject	of	discussion	from	not	just	one	angle	,	but	think	a	situation	through	,	think	about	every	possibility	.	murder	has	that	kind	of	banter	.	i	just	wish	the	film	had	been	about	more	.	i	kept	waiting	for	it	to	ask	questions	movies	like	this	never	ask	.	for	instance	,	why	does	the	paltrow	character	keep	saying	it's	not	fair	to	her	husband	to	keep	her	affair	a	secret	?	as	if	she's	concerned	about	how	he	feels	.	i'm	wondering	why	she	would've	had	the	affair	in	the	first	place	,	and	not	worry	about	how	it	may	or	may	not	affect	him	,	and	why	it	would	only	hit	her	a	good	ways	into	the	affair	to	at	least	let	him	know	about	it	.	does	she	love	her	husband	?	people	don't	usually	get	married	otherwise	,	right	?	and	if	she	does	love	him	,	how	much	or	how	little	that	she	can't	try	and	work	things	out	?	or	,	_	has	_	she	tried	?	does	she	care	about	whether	or	not	she	has	hurt	him	,	or	that	she'll	hurt	him	again	?	steven	doesn't	seem	like	such	a	bad	guy	(	of	course	,	he	_	is	_	,	but	that's	only	later	on	)	.	he's	rich	.	he	likes	being	rich	,	gives	him	a	certain	air	of	superiority	(	at	one	point	he	tells	paltrow	which	dress	to	wear	so	,	you	know	he's	a	real	creep	)	.	maybe	he	makes	her	feel	small	,	and	insecure	,	but	has	it	always	been	that	way	?	how	did	it	_	get	_	that	way	?	also	,	there's	no	tangible	chemistry	between	paltrow	and	mortensen	,	furthering	my	question	into	why	is	she	with	either	man	territory	.	the	same	goes	for	douglas'	character	.	he	has	multiple	reasons	for	wanting	his	wife	dead	,	not	just	the	obvious	(	which	,	come	to	think	,	isn't	really	a	reason	at	all	,	considering	what	he's	most	worried	with	)	.	but	,	why	is	he	married	to	her	?	it's	an	inconsequential	line	of	inquiry	in	the	end	,	i	guess	,	but	wouldn't	answering	such	questions	or	even	addressing	them	give	the	film	a	little	more	dramatic	depth	?	of	course	,	that	would	make	a	longer	movie	.	but	hey	,	attention	spans	do	exist	.	and	why	,	oh	why	,	do	they	have	to	revert	to	a	violent	ending	?	i	saw	a	movie	once	called	,	i	believe	,	lady	beware	.	it	starred	diane	lane	.	the	storyline	wasn't	quite	the	same	,	but	it	,	too	,	could	have	ended	in	a	violent	way	.	instead	,	it	chose	a	more	subtle	approach	that	was	much	,	much	more	effective	.	a	perfect	murder	deserved	one	of	those	,	because	it	has	a	lot	going	for	it	already	.	r
pos	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	athan	bezaitis	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	997038ef028e021d882568b20015019d	?	opendocument	"	http	:	www	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	997038ef028e021d882568b20015019d	?	opendocument	a	at	more	than	one	point	in	his	career	,	paul	newman	has	been	the	ultimate	con	man	.	the	sting	,	butch	cassidy	and	the	sundance	kid	,	cool	hand	luke	,	the	hustler	,	and	the	color	of	money	all	epitomized	this	master	of	smooth	talk	and	wily	ways	.	but	the	successes	of	all	of	his	past	films	and	all	of	their	cons	have	one	common	denominator	:	a	memorable	and	talented	supporting	cast	.	in	the	hustler	,	jackie	gleason	played	minnesota	fats	,	who	proved	to	be	a	worthy	nemesis	by	outsmarting	the	cocky	and	more	talented	newman	.	tom	cruise	,	in	the	color	of	money	,	was	like	an	apprentice	learning	from	the	master	sorcerer	,	as	newman	molded	cruise	into	an	effigy	of	his	old	self	.	while	newman	always	emerged	the	star	,	he	would	continually	share	the	spotlight	,	so	that	none	of	those	movies	became	one	dimensional	.	newman's	latest	film	,	where	the	money	is	,	directed	by	marek	kanievska	(	less	than	zero	)	,	unfortunately	lacks	the	supporting	cast	for	newman	to	thrive	as	the	luminary	"	hustler	.	"	in	the	film	,	newman	plays	henry	manning	,	a	former	bank	robber	who	plans	to	break	out	of	prison	by	faking	a	stroke	.	when	he	is	transferred	to	a	minimum	security	nursing	home	,	he	thinks	he's	home	free	.	however	,	the	woman	assigned	to	take	care	of	him	,	carol	ann	mckay	(	linda	fiorentino	men	in	black	)	suspects	that	he's	a	fake	and	attempts	to	lure	him	out	of	his	trance	so	he	will	help	her	in	a	burglary	with	her	and	her	husband	wayne	(	dermot	mulroney	copycat	,	my	best	friend's	wedding	)	.	she	goes	to	some	outrageous	lengths	to	keep	him	from	playing	possum	,	but	when	she	finally	awakes	the	bank	robbing	legend	,	she	faces	a	challenge	that	could	change	her	life	.	nothing	against	linda	fiorentino	,	who	does	a	fine	job	in	this	movie	,	but	she	has	no	extraordinary	talents	that	allow	her	to	become	a	stand	out	criminal	worthy	of	newman's	tutelage	.	also	,	her	husband	wayne	proves	to	be	a	clumsy	ox	despite	his	prowess	on	the	football	field	and	the	"	cool	head	"	that	his	wife	constantly	brags	about	.	as	newman	states	in	one	of	his	first	lines	,	"	it's	amateur	hour	,	"	and	unfortunately	this	is	the	sad	truth	for	this	movie	.	though	the	far	fetched	plot	and	lack	of	support	diminish	newman's	shining	star	,	the	movie	isn't	a	complete	failure	.	it	offers	some	good	laughs	and	a	few	vintage	newman	moments	,	like	his	dance	with	fiorentino	,	where	he	manages	to	change	her	life	in	one	song	and	a	two	step	.
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	warner	bros	on	march	3	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	115	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	david	o	.	russell	;	produced	by	edward	l	.	mcdonnell	,	charles	roven	,	paul	junger	witt	.	written	by	david	o	.	russell	;	from	a	story	by	john	ridley	.	photographed	by	newton	thomas	sigel	;	edited	by	robert	k	.	lambert	.	david	o	.	russell's	"	three	kings	"	is	the	first	war	movie	i	have	seen	that	takes	the	camera	into	an	imaginary	bullet	wound	to	show	it	filling	up	with	bile	.	what's	more	,	the	moment	seems	perfectly	normal	in	the	context	of	the	film	.	this	is	a	fast	talking	,	cheerfully	deranged	depiction	of	army	intervention	in	iraq	,	which	plays	with	style	,	structure	and	tone	in	the	dangerously	excited	manner	of	a	fire	eating	juggler	.	the	story	takes	place	in	1991	,	just	after	the	end	of	the	gulf	war	.	in	a	camp	of	american	soldiers	who	are	rounding	up	prisoners	and	waiting	to	go	home	,	major	archie	gates	(	george	clooney	)	discovers	an	"	ass	map	"	a	treasure	map	,	that	is	,	found	between	a	captive's	butt	cheeks	.	gates	orders	a	goofy	hillbilly	,	private	conrad	vig	(	spike	jonze	)	,	to	take	it	out	.	"	can't	i	have	a	glove	,	sir	?	"	he	asks	.	"	no	,	"	gates	replies	,	"	that's	how	the	chain	of	command	works	.	"	gates	and	vig	consult	two	reliable	young	comrades	,	muscle	bound	family	man	sergeant	troy	barlow	(	mark	wahlberg	)	and	firm	,	shrewd	staff	sergeant	chief	elgin	(	ice	cube	)	.	together	the	quintet	deduce	the	location	of	the	loot	to	be	an	iraqi	army	bunker	near	cordoba	,	and	guess	that	it	will	be	several	million	dollars	worth	of	kuwaiti	gold	bullion	.	their	plan	:	to	steal	it	.	if	they	get	caught	:	they'll	say	they	were	on	a	legitimate	mission	to	rescue	their	allies'	property	from	the	enemy	.	since	we	never	see	movie	characters	plan	heists	and	then	follow	them	through	without	a	hitch	,	we	know	this	scheme	will	somehow	go	wrong	.	our	heroes'	obstacle	comes	when	they're	about	to	leave	the	village	in	which	the	gold	filled	bunker	is	situated	.	iraqi	guards	are	making	clear	they	plan	to	harm	civilians	,	and	it	would	be	wrong	to	leave	them	to	do	so	.	there	is	a	scene	of	agonising	effectiveness	here	,	as	the	action	goes	into	slow	motion	to	mark	the	cease	fire's	dissolution	into	chaos	.	a	mother	is	shot	in	full	view	of	her	husband	and	children	.	soldiers	resume	fighting	.	watching	this	at	a	delayed	pace	accentuates	the	tension	,	the	horror	,	and	the	reality	of	each	bullet	,	and	all	we	can	do	is	sit	there	,	watching	,	feeling	helpless	.	of	course	,	that's	all	the	american	soldiers	can	do	for	most	of	the	time	.	george	bush	may	have	urged	iraqi	citizens	to	rise	up	against	saddam	hussein's	evil	regime	,	but	he's	not	letting	his	troops	help	them	,	because	the	gulf	war	wasn't	about	liberating	people	,	and	was	fought	to	make	sure	kuwait	could	keep	supplying	oil	to	the	western	world	.	most	people	already	realise	and	are	resigned	to	that	,	but	"	three	kings	"	angrily	indicts	bush	for	it	,	with	a	second	half	that	is	dramatic	and	political	.	the	film	surrounds	gates	,	vig	,	barlow	and	elgin	with	hypocrisy	and	devastation	as	they	attempt	to	get	back	to	their	base	,	fight	off	hostile	fire	,	save	the	lives	of	refugees	and	salvage	some	bullion	.	that's	a	little	anticlimactic	,	as	the	opening	chapters	are	full	of	brilliantly	crude	slapstick	satire	,	and	at	times	thereafter	the	film	becomes	inappropriately	slowed	down	when	accommodating	its	serious	stuff	.	russell	,	who	wrote	and	directed	,	should	have	found	some	way	to	blend	the	different	elements	in	less	jarring	fashion	.	it	is	creative	to	follow	an	elaborate	practical	gag	about	pretending	to	be	saddam	with	realistic	footage	of	refugee	orphans	,	but	it	isn't	necessarily	wise	,	because	it	means	the	audience	is	still	laughing	when	we	should	be	settling	down	for	sober	thought	.	what	"	three	kings	"	conveys	brilliantly	,	throughout	everything	light	and	heavy	,	is	the	utter	confusion	of	war	in	the	opening	words	(	"	are	we	still	shooting	?	"	)	,	the	disorganisation	of	the	u	.	s	.	forces'	barracks	,	and	the	mad	dash	to	safety	the	film	spends	most	of	its	time	on	.	we	can	decipher	what's	going	on	during	immediate	moments	,	but	the	general	experience	is	intentionally	perplexing	and	dizzying	.	ambiguous	individual	point	of	view	shots	contribute	to	this	,	as	does	unstable	,	screw	loose	pacing	.	newton	thomas	sigel's	cinematography	is	the	most	crucial	element	in	putting	us	in	the	middle	of	the	unpredictability	.	in	the	tradition	of	a	lot	of	recent	hollywood	war	dramas	,	it's	shaky	and	grainy	,	but	its	underdeveloped	film	stock	is	a	much	more	original	touch	,	making	the	frame	extremely	sensitive	to	light	.	there	are	huge	contrast	changes	all	the	time	,	and	the	film	seems	to	be	reacting	to	situations	,	and	seeing	images	,	rather	than	creating	them	.	the	four	main	actors	work	subtle	wonders	,	too	,	performing	in	ways	that	balance	each	other's	efforts	nicely	.	clooney	has	authoritative	star	power	;	jonze	,	who	has	also	done	good	work	as	a	director	,	is	pleasing	in	what	is	essentially	a	jester	role	;	wahlberg	is	charming	and	boyish	;	cube	reassures	us	that	there's	someone	sensible	in	this	motley	crew	.	as	of	yet	,	the	only	other	theatrical	motion	picture	dealing	with	the	gulf	war	has	been	edward	zwick's	"	courage	under	fire	"	,	from	1996	.	so	it's	amazing	,	when	you	think	about	it	,	that	russell	has	so	soon	found	the	courage	to	make	a	bizarre	comedic	commentary	on	the	subject	.	shame	on	warner	bros	for	marketing	it	as	a	dumb	action	flick	,	in	ads	that	juxtapose	serious	sounding	lines	with	explosions	.	they're	shooting	themselves	in	the	foot	,	as	fans	of	that	sort	of	thing	will	be	put	off	when	they	learn	what	the	movie	is	actually	about	,	and	most	other	people	will	the	alienated	by	the	commercials	.	"	three	kings	"	deserves	better	treatment	uneven	patches	notwithstanding	,	it's	original	,	powerful	,	and	very	unexpected	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantganiplease	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	in	trying	to	give	proper	praise	to	american	pie	,	the	drop	dead	funniest	film	of	1999	,	i	compare	it	to	other	recent	teen	comedies	,	like	cant	hardly	wait	and	shes	all	that	.	movies	which	have	zero	ambition	,	go	for	the	cheap	,	easy	laugh	and	nothing	more	,	and	dare	not	delve	into	the	intricacies	of	what	adolescent	sexual	confusion	might	actually	entail	.	movies	concerned	with	plot	contrivance	(	will	the	geeky	guy	get	the	prom	queen	;	will	the	girl	be	able	to	figure	out	a	devious	bet	against	her	,	in	time	to	fall	in	love	)	,	and	nothing	that	has	to	do	with	real	life	.	american	pie	puts	them	right	in	their	place	,	with	honesty	and	unparalleled	situational	humor	embarrassing	and	rude	as	it	may	be	.	simply	put	,	this	movie	rocks	.	not	about	anything	in	particular	,	pie	focuses	on	a	group	of	high	school	guys	who	,	three	weeks	before	graduation	,	vow	to	lose	their	virginity	as	of	prom	night	,	out	of	dignity	if	nothing	else	;	because	,	"	its	tradition	.	like	the	rose	bowl	.	"	oz	(	or	nova	,	played	by	a	marvelous	chris	klein	)	starts	off	the	clich	misogynist	pig	jock	,	but	then	joins	the	school	choir	,	in	hopes	of	wooing	the	pretty	heather	(	mena	suvari	)	,	only	to	realize	his	sensitive	side	.	kevin	(	thomas	ian	nicholas	)	already	has	a	girlfriend	,	vicky	(	the	sexy	tara	reid	)	,	but	shes	holding	out	for	just	the	right	time	to	consummate	their	relationship	;	"	its	not	a	space	shuttle	launch	.	its	sex	"	love	that	line	.	jim	(	a	break	through	jason	biggs	)	has	a	slight	crush	on	foreign	exchange	student	nadia	,	but	faces	more	complicated	issues	with	masturbation	,	mainly	on	the	homefront	,	to	wonderful	comic	result	;	the	uncomfortable	discussions	with	his	father	(	a	sly	eugene	levy	)	,	about	the	birds	and	bees	,	are	perfect	gems	of	comic	timing	.	will	they	succeed	in	getting	laid	?	no	matter	.	what	makes	american	pie	great	is	its	intrinsic	sweetness	.	even	the	narrow	minded	stifler	(	seann	w	.	scott	)	,	who	accidentally	drinks	"	pale	ale	"	,	has	a	core	of	innocence	albeit	,	buried	far	beneath	an	abrasive	exterior	.	perverted	and	lewd	,	at	times	,	the	film	remains	not	mean	or	bitter	in	the	least	.	you	want	these	guys	and	girls	to	find	happiness	,	or	as	much	as	one	can	reasonably	expect	to	find	at	that	age	.	every	character	is	thoroughly	likeable	,	which	is	kind	of	rare	in	a	film	like	this	.	i	think	,	again	,	back	to	cant	hardly	wait	,	from	earlier	this	year	,	in	which	just	about	every	one	of	the	characters	was	immature	and	selfish	,	and	compare	it	to	american	pie	,	full	of	real	and	genuine	people	experiencing	more	truthful	trials	of	growing	up	.	there	isnt	a	comparison	to	be	made	,	really	.	i	like	the	way	kevin	goes	the	distance	to	please	vicky	,	and	their	exploration	of	sexual	satisfaction	;	you	dont	see	many	teen	comedies	where	both	the	male	and	female	party	concentrates	respective	attention	on	the	others	personal	gratification	.	i	also	found	ozs	slow	progression	into	true	romantic	kind	of	endearing	.	and	,	not	to	be	overlooked	,	is	the	films	overt	raunch	.	i	laughed	my	ass	off	during	finches	(	eddie	kay	thomas	)	bout	with	uncontrollable	diarrhea	in	the	girls	bathroom	.	jim	copulating	with	the	titular	centerpiece	comes	in	a	close	second	.	and	,	i	especially	love	alyson	hannigans	(	doing	her	willow	bit	)	band	dork	,	who	gets	the	two	biggest	guffaws	during	the	concluding	post	prom	party	.	the	film	originally	garnered	an	nc	17	rating	for	its	full	bore	graphic	content	,	but	all	that	does	is	minimize	the	heart	of	american	pie	a	true	blue	coming	of	age	tale	.	the	script	,	by	adam	herz	,	is	audacious	and	perceptive	,	while	at	the	same	time	smart	and	sophisticated	and	surprisingly	gentle	.	the	actors	are	amicable	and	seem	to	be	having	a	good	time	.	if	the	movie	falters	,	its	by	ending	on	such	a	feel	good	note	.	by	then	,	it	makes	no	real	difference	,	however	,	as	american	pie	has	proved	itself	a	raucous	hit	.	go	!
pos	quaid	stars	as	a	man	who	has	taken	up	the	proffesion	of	dragonslayer	after	he	feels	he	is	betrayed	by	a	dragon	early	in	the	movie	.	he	runs	into	the	last	dragon	in	existence	,	and	there	is	a	genuinely	amusing	battle	between	the	two	which	results	in	a	standoff	where	quaid	is	in	the	dragons	mouth	,	but	has	his	sword	pointed	at	the	dragons	brain	.	eventually	,	they	decide	to	call	a	truce	,	and	they	work	out	a	deal	.	since	he	is	the	last	dragon	,	he	will	pretend	to	die	and	quaid	will	be	able	to	get	paid	for	it	.
pos	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	robert	strohmeyer	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	7bdd22b907aeefa0882569690006544d	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	7bdd22b907aeefa0882569690006544d	?	opendocument	a	few	things	simultaneously	sicken	and	seduce	the	feminist	spirit	in	quite	as	thorough	a	way	as	an	american	beauty	pageant	.	now	an	inextricable	fixture	on	our	cultural	landscape	,	the	pageant	defines	,	glorifies	,	and	objectifies	woman	as	a	prescription	for	all	time	.	an	evening	spent	watching	the	miss	america	proceedings	on	tv	is	like	a	psychosexual	time	warp	,	dragging	us	back	to	a	kinder	,	simpler	time	when	the	female	of	the	species	need	not	worry	itself	over	difficult	issues	like	voting	or	wearing	shoes	.	so	it	was	not	without	a	sense	of	irony	that	i	walked	down	the	cinema	for	a	screening	sally	field's	beautiful	.	irony	is	the	central	force	of	field's	representative	pageantry	,	and	in	the	tradition	of	drop	dead	gorgeous	,	it	is	no	disappointment	.	but	this	is	also	a	human	story	,	about	women	in	search	of	identity	and	belonging	.	mona	(	minnie	driver	)	is	a	dubious	beauty	queen	,	having	spent	her	entire	life	contesting	against	all	reason	and	likelihood	for	the	crown	of	miss	american	miss	.	though	not	graced	with	especially	striking	looks	from	the	outset	,	and	born	into	a	household	that	makes	hee	haw	look	glamorous	,	mona's	years	of	determination	and	artificiality	are	finally	paying	off	.	she	has	become	miss	illinois	.	now	,	if	she	can	keep	her	false	persona	straight	,	she	stands	a	chance	of	winning	the	crown	.	and	if	it	weren't	for	the	untimely	suicide	of	her	best	friend's	convalescent	patient	and	the	disqualifying	existence	of	her	7	year	old	daughter	(	played	by	hallie	kate	eisenberg	,	that	annoying	little	girl	from	the	pepsi	commercials	)	,	victory	might	be	simple	.	fortunately	for	moviegoers	,	life	is	not	so	simple	.	but	equally	unfortunately	,	much	of	this	tale's	delivery	is	bogged	down	by	an	incongruous	sense	of	vision	.	at	the	story's	outset	,	it	is	compelling	and	funny	.	young	mona	is	precocious	and	endearing	as	she	struggles	to	grow	up	and	prove	her	self	worth	in	the	shadow	of	her	alcoholic	mother	.	her	drive	to	win	beauty	pageants	is	a	believable	compulsion	,	though	fraught	with	ridiculous	overtones	.	but	,	by	the	time	driver	steps	in	to	play	the	role	,	mona	has	become	little	more	than	a	caricature	.	she	is	absurd	and	unloving	,	one	dimensional	in	her	desire	to	win	pageants	and	incapable	of	basic	human	emotion	.	this	lack	of	humanity	makes	the	character	fundamentally	boring	to	watch	,	in	spite	of	driver's	obvious	talent	.	eisenberg	,	however	,	is	though	i	so	hate	to	admit	it	quite	good	in	her	role	as	the	young	vanessa	(	except	for	the	argument	scenes	,	in	which	her	shrill	screaming	was	more	deafening	than	interesting	)	.	once	we've	made	it	through	the	long	,	irritating	period	of	watching	how	far	mona's	personality	has	degenerated	,	eisenberg's	performance	as	the	story's	conscience	bearer	is	a	much	needed	refreshment	.	too	quickly	,	though	,	does	this	spiral	into	an	uncontrollable	finale	of	cheesy	feminist	messages	.	sally	field's	direction	is	,	for	the	most	part	,	above	par	.	but	this	film	is	disappointingly	short	on	substance	.	in	the	end	,	mothers	and	daughters	may	bond	over	many	of	the	movie's	funnier	,	heartwarming	scenes	,	but	most	moviegoers	will	do	well	to	wait	for	the	dvd	.
pos	walking	into	"	ready	to	rumble	"	,	the	new	film	from	hollywood's	biggest	goofball	,	david	arquette	(	"	scream	"	,	those	annoying	1	800	call	att	commercials	)	,	i	figured	there	were	two	possibilities	for	this	movie	.	it	was	going	to	be	stupid	,	the	previews	had	already	given	that	much	away	.	the	question	now	,	was	whether	it	was	going	to	be	the	sort	of	stupid	which	you	can't	help	but	chuckle	at	,	or	the	just	plain	moronic	kind	.	it	turns	out	that	the	movie	has	a	little	of	both	.	while	there	are	a	lot	of	faults	,	there	are	also	one	or	two	really	funny	scenes	and	a	few	others	you	can't	help	but	find	amusing	no	matter	how	low	brow	they	might	be	.	however	,	the	film's	biggest	problem	is	the	premise	itself	.	how	can	one	make	a	movie	that	pokes	fun	at	professional	wrestling	when	wrestling	already	pokes	fun	at	itself	?	gordie	(	david	arquette	)	and	sean	(	scott	caan	)	have	only	one	great	love	in	their	lives	.	this	all	consuming	passion	is	professional	wrestling	,	and	specifically	worship	for	their	idol	,	jimmy	"	the	king	"	king	(	oliver	platt	)	.	they	have	just	obtained	tickets	to	the	latest	match	between	the	king	and	diamond	dallas	page	(	page	falkinburg	)	.	they	are	horrified	to	find	that	king's	manager	,	titus	sinclair	(	joe	pantoliano	)	,	has	rigged	the	match	so	that	king	will	not	only	lose	,	but	will	be	ejected	from	the	wrestling	circuit	forever	.	now	gordie	and	sean	have	only	one	purpose	in	life	:	to	get	the	king	his	crown	back	.	however	,	they	soon	discover	that	their	idol	may	not	be	all	they	thought	he	was	,	and	professional	wrestling	may	be	gasp	fake	afterall	!	when	i	said	there	are	one	or	two	really	funny	scenes	in	this	movie	i	wasn't	kidding	.	fortunately	,	there	are	enough	mildly	amusing	scenes	to	make	up	for	this	.	the	interesting	thing	is	that	,	the	best	part	of	this	movie	isn't	the	comedy	,	it's	the	massive	wrestling	match	at	the	film's	end	.	the	problem	with	this	is	that	it's	a	long	,	and	at	times	very	dull	,	trip	to	that	payoff	.	another	problem	is	that	while	the	majority	of	the	jokes	may	fall	flat	,	at	least	the	actors	are	trying	their	best	to	pull	something	out	of	them	.	however	,	at	other	times	the	movie	seems	to	be	trying	to	convey	some	message	about	wrestlers	and	their	fans	and	this	not	only	doesn't	work	,	but	seriously	detracts	from	the	rest	of	the	film	.	i	suppose	this	is	because	anything	serious	seems	completely	out	of	place	in	a	movie	this	goofy	.	as	for	the	actors	,	i've	never	really	cared	for	david	arquette	.	he	may	have	been	somewhat	entertaining	in	the	"	scream	"	films	,	but	i	think	this	is	because	wes	craven	kept	him	tightly	reined	in	.	otherwise	,	he	has	a	tendancy	to	overact	to	the	point	where	the	audience	expects	him	to	rip	out	of	the	screen	and	start	bouncing	off	the	walls	.	scott	caan	(	"	boiler	room	"	,	"	black	and	white	"	)	hasn't	appeared	in	much	till	now	,	but	he	turns	in	a	remarkably	restrained	performance	considering	his	co	star	.	as	for	oliver	platt	(	"	lake	placid	"	)	,	whom	i	consider	one	of	the	better	comic	actors	working	in	hollywood	,	he	is	woefully	miscast	as	a	professional	wrestler	.	the	problem	is	,	platt	is	not	particularly	tall	,	rather	overweight	,	and	about	as	vicious	looking	as	a	small	dog	.	being	surrounded	by	real	wrestlers	,	like	bill	goldberg	throughout	the	movie	,	only	makes	him	look	more	ridiculous	in	this	role	.	"	ready	to	rumble	"	has	a	typical	soundtrack	for	this	type	of	movie	.	it's	filled	with	popular	alternative	music	,	and	it	was	certainly	a	welcome	change	from	the	constant	rap	soundtracks	i've	been	hearing	lately	.	brian	robbins	(	"	varsity	blues	"	)	doesn't	exactly	seem	to	be	directing	this	movie	.	he	simply	seems	to	be	allowing	the	actors	to	do	whatever	they	feel	like	to	try	and	get	a	laugh	out	of	stephen	brill's	(	"	the	mighty	ducks	"	)	rather	weak	script	.	i'm	not	sure	if	this	was	a	good	idea	,	but	keeping	david	arquette	under	control	certainly	couldn't	have	hurt	the	film	.	"	ready	to	rumble	"	runs	far	too	long	at	122	minutes	,	and	should	have	been	no	more	than	95	.	i'd	recommend	"	ready	to	rumble	"	to	wrestling	fans	since	they	will	most	likely	recognize	a	few	familiar	faces	and	give	it	three	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	only	if	you	have	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	made	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	starring	liam	neeson	,	ewan	mcgregor	,	jake	lloyd	,	natalie	portman	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	.	rated	pg	.	the	event	of	events	is	upon	us	.	people	have	waited	twenty	two	years	for	the	prequel	to	star	wars	and	die	hard	fans	have	been	camping	out	at	theaters	for	months	to	get	tickets	to	see	it	.	i	don't	think	that	america	will	ever	actually	recover	from	what	this	hurricane	of	a	film	has	caused	.	it	is	not	a	bit	of	an	exaggeration	to	say	that	this	is	the	most	highly	anticipated	movie	in	history	.	anyone	who	tells	you	"	it's	just	a	movie	"	is	either	lying	or	clueless	.	it	is	clearly	obvious	that	after	the	waiting	and	the	hype	actually	seeing	the	movie	will	be	anticlimactic	.	the	second	coming	of	the	lord	could	not	live	up	to	the	kind	of	buzz	(	which	is	far	too	weak	a	word	)	that	star	wars	epsode	i	:	the	phantom	menace	so	effortlessly	generated	.	but	that	does	not	mean	that	the	film	itself	is	bad	.	in	fact	,	it	is	terrific	.	i	strongly	suspect	that	many	of	the	people	who	were	dissappointed	by	it	have	simply	surrendered	to	the	media	machine	and	the	inevitable	backlash	.	it	is	set	some	decades	before	the	events	of	the	original	1977	star	wars	took	place	.	the	film	focuses	on	the	fledgling	republic	of	planets	and	the	conflict	that	is	raging	:	the	trade	federation	,	angry	at	some	tax	raise	that	was	recently	put	in	place	has	invaded	the	small	,	peaceful	planet	of	naboo	.	the	republic	sent	two	jedi	knights	(	people	that	can	actively	communicate	with	what	is	affectionately	known	as	"	the	force	"	)	,	qui	gon	jinn	(	liam	neeson	)	and	obi	wan	kenobi	(	ewan	mcgregor	)	to	negotiate	.	unable	to	stop	the	tide	of	events	that	was	about	to	occur	,	the	jedi	and	the	queen	of	naboo	(	natalie	portman	)	escape	naboo	and	head	for	coruscant	to	try	and	get	the	republic	senate	to	intervene	.	on	the	way	they	get	sidetracked	to	a	planet	called	tatooine	,	where	they	meet	the	movie's	real	focal	point	,	young	anakin	skywalker	(	jake	lloyd	)	.	he	is	an	innocent	slave	boy	,	but	"	the	force	is	strong	with	him	"	so	qui	gon	is	determined	to	take	him	with	them	to	the	jedi	counsel	and	get	him	trained	as	a	jedi	.	as	any	self	respecting	star	wars	fan	should	know	,	anakin	will	grow	up	to	be	darth	vader	and	give	birth	to	luke	skywalker	.	from	the	beginning	it	is	evident	that	this	is	not	an	actor's	movie	.	around	70	of	the	characters	,	if	not	more	,	are	computer	generated	in	one	form	or	another	,	and	though	the	effects	are	seamless	,	the	movie	lacks	soul	.	i	think	that	although	the	computer	has	played	an	incredibly	instrumental	part	in	moviemaking	this	decade	,	cinema	should	still	be	a	human	art	and	the	phantom	menace	nearly	defies	this	.	this	is	the	lightest	installment	in	the	star	wars	saga	thus	far	,	with	plenty	of	broad	comic	relief	to	go	around	,	much	of	it	courtesy	of	an	irritating	knew	character	named	jar	jar	binks	.	he's	essentially	a	computer	animated	sidekick	who	says	things	like	"	exqueeze	me	?	"	and	"	mesa	go	now	,	okeday	?	"	,	and	although	it	is	often	amusing	it	is	also	inherently	annoying	.	the	visual	effects	are	astounding	(	although	director	george	lucas	often	chickens	out	by	cutting	away	from	them	)	and	the	movie	is	a	thrilling	triumph	.	if	it	lacks	in	plot	and	in	acting	it	makes	up	for	it	through	imagination	and	excitement	.	the	climactic	lightsaber	battle	(	oh	,	come	on	,	as	if	you	didn't	already	know	)	,	among	other	things	,	is	outrageously	entertaining	and	defines	the	term	"	popcorn	movie	"	.	what	made	me	surrender	and	give	this	movie	1	2	stars	was	the	score	by	john	williams	.	even	though	it	does	seem	like	the	man	scores	every	single	movie	that	comes	out	these	days	,	his	work	here	is	nothing	short	of	brilliant	.	his	use	of	opera	during	the	climax	really	does	add	a	punch	and	his	ingenious	way	of	utilizing	the	imperial	march	as	a	sort	of	prophecy	is	chilling	.	the	phantom	menace	is	probably	most	effective	as	pop	nostalgia	.	when	you	see	"	a	long	time	ago	,	in	a	galaxy	far	,	far	away	"	,	when	the	familiar	music	plays	,	when	the	words	"	star	wars	"	appear	on	screen	,	you'll	feel	a	tingle	even	if	you	didn't	see	the	movie	when	it	first	came	out	in	'77	.	it	feels	oddly	exciting	to	be	introduced	to	young	anakin	,	a	boy	whose	innocence	,	we	know	,	will	be	taken	away	and	who	will	soon	cross	over	to	the	dark	side	.	it	is	the	perfect	example	of	dramatic	irony	to	see	the	jedi	masters	aspire	to	get	him	trained	in	the	jedi	arts	;	we	know	that	it	will	do	more	harm	than	good	,	but	they	do	not	.	we	not	only	feel	more	involved	in	the	story	,	but	we	feel	like	we're	seeing	the	beginning	of	a	saga	that	we	have	cherished	for	years	.	the	phantom	menace	,	although	lacking	in	human	aspects	of	the	story	,	is	a	very	worthy	installment	in	the	star	wars	.	it	works	as	an	action	flick	,	visually	eye	popping	and	often	paralyzingly	exciting	;	it	also	works	as	an	elicitor	of	memories	,	a	piece	of	exquisite	nostalgia	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
pos	with	stars	like	sigourney	weaver	(	"	alien	"	trilogy	)	and	academy	award	winner	holly	hunter	(	the	piano	,	raising	arizona	,	etc	.	)	together	in	a	single	hollywood	production	,	one	would	immediately	identify	the	film	as	a	potential	academy	award	hot	shot	.	sadly	for	copycat	,	though	tightly	scripted	and	nicely	plot	,	is	still	at	heart	,	a	typical	hollywood	thriller	.	helen	(	weaver	)	,	after	a	traumatic	near	death	encounter	with	a	serial	killer	,	darryl	(	harry	connick	jr	.	)	,	has	developed	a	phobia	for	being	outdoors	,	so	to	speak	.	incidentally	,	helen	is	also	an	expert	on	the	subject	of	serial	killers	,	which	make	her	a	juicy	target	for	serial	killer	wannabes	.	a	year	has	passed	and	strange	deaths	begin	to	terrorise	the	city	of	san	francisco	.	detective	monahan	(	hunter	)	and	getz	(	mulroney	)	,	baffled	by	the	unorthodox	methods	of	killing	used	by	the	killer	,	seeks	the	professional	help	of	helen	,	who	,	as	expected	was	reluctant	at	first	.	copycat	"	borrows	"	a	lot	from	silence	of	the	lambs	and	in	most	cases	,	it	did	work	.	but	copycat	tries	to	be	a	little	bit	more	by	immersing	the	audience	into	the	lives	of	its	main	characters	to	give	them	more	believability	,	this	was	rather	unnecessary	as	the	scenes	seem	to	disrupt	the	mood	of	the	entire	film	and	also	.	.	.	much	of	the	time	wasted	could've	been	used	to	build	up	the	suspense	and	injected	with	drama	.	even	so	,	weaver	and	hunter	act	very	well	in	their	own	departments	.	.	.	weaver	being	the	vulnerable	yet	strong	within	character	(	as	in	aliens	)	and	hunter	being	the	short	,	tough	,	texan	speaking	cop	(	as	in	raising	arizona	)	.	harry	connick	jr	.	,	a	very	good	jazz	singer	,	shines	as	the	imprisoned	serial	killer	a	la	hannibal	lecter	.	which	comes	to	the	moment	of	judgement	(	drum	roll	please	.	.	.	)	.	copycat	is	a	good	thriller	.	although	the	plot	is	highly	predictable	and	one	can	actually	predict	the	rest	of	the	movie	after	about	45	minutes	into	the	show	,	copycat	survives	from	the	moments	of	anticipation	where	the	audience	are	held	on	to	their	seats	,	in	anticipation	of	the	killers	next	immediate	move	.	this	worked	pretty	well	and	will	offer	audiences	a	couple	of	unexpected	jolts	.	nice	movie	to	bring	your	girlfriend	to	.	.	.	.
pos	corey	yuen's	latest	film	,	"	hero	"	is	notable	on	two	fronts	.	first	this	is	the	film	to	bring	back	the	shaw	brothers	studio	back	to	the	forefront	of	film	production	.	secondly	,	the	film	is	the	re	discovery	of	yuen	biao	.	the	film	opens	around	the	end	of	the	qin	dynasty	,	when	many	immigrants	were	making	their	way	to	shanghai	.	poverty	and	crime	rule	most	of	china	.	a	young	man	,	ma	wing	jing	and	his	brother	enter	the	fabled	city	and	become	laborers	at	the	pier	.	tam	see	is	the	most	powerful	gangster	in	town	,	having	control	of	the	center	of	the	city	and	having	an	alliance	with	the	british	army	.	wing	jing	and	see	become	friends	during	a	confrontation	.	their	friendship	grows	as	both	men	start	to	realize	their	dreams	,	wing	jing's	to	be	a	powerful	and	wealthy	man	,	and	see	to	settle	down	with	a	woman	he	can	truly	love	.	wing	jing	meets	the	singer	at	the	club	(	jessica	hester	)	and	falls	in	love	with	her	,	not	realizing	that	she	is	the	star	attraction	.	after	stealing	her	picture	from	a	display	,	wing	jing	and	his	brother	plot	to	impress	her	.	first	they	rob	two	foreigner's	of	their	money	and	cloths	,	and	set	up	a	midnight	rendezvous	.	unfortunately	,	wing	jing	has	run	afoul	of	a	rival	gangster	,	yeung	seung	who	has	bribed	the	police	in	an	effort	to	gain	control	of	see's	night	club	.	the	two	bothers	are	arrested	and	held	until	they	manage	to	escape	just	before	dawn	.	jessica	,	having	waited	outside	in	the	cold	with	her	manager	all	night	,	gives	up	and	returns	home	.	see	decides	to	retire	,	he	gives	the	night	club	to	wing	jing	,	as	repayment	for	saving	his	life	during	an	attempted	murder	.	see	arranges	the	trade	and	ask	his	lover	(	valerie	chow	)	to	take	care	of	wing	jing	.	unfortunately	,	she	has	sided	with	yeung	seung	.	the	performances	in	the	film	are	all	top	notch	,	with	fine	turns	by	takeshi	kaneshiro	as	ma	wing	jing	and	jessica	hester	and	valerie	chow	.	the	comic	turn	by	yuen	wah	,	previously	known	as	the	mad	vietnamese	in	samo	hung's	"	eastern	condors	"	,	is	a	marvelous	surprise	.	his	gift	for	comedy	is	marvelously	understated	and	hilarious	.	the	stand	out	is	by	yuen	biao	who	returns	to	the	screen	after	a	string	of	disappointments	,	with	a	stellar	performance	.	his	tam	see	is	a	triad	boss	who	knows	that	his	time	is	coming	to	an	end	but	still	has	the	cunning	and	craft	to	uphold	his	pride	.	his	gangster	is	almost	non	violent	,	in	that	he	only	retaliates	,	never	instigates	violence	.	but	when	the	time	comes	to	fight	,	yuen	biao	has	never	looked	better	.	corey	yuen	directs	the	film	with	a	maturity	and	a	sense	of	pacing	that	has	been	lacking	in	hong	kong	movies	as	of	late	.	the	lighting	,	cinematography	and	staging	of	the	film	are	beautiful	to	watch	.	the	action	scenes	do	not	disappoint	either	.	this	is	the	most	aggressive	and	inventive	martial	art	choreography	i've	seen	in	some	time	,	actually	surpassing	jackie	chan's	work	in	both	'rumble	in	the	bronx'	and	'first	strike'	.	the	special	effects	team	deserves	praise	for	a	fantastic	job	of	making	the	impossible	look	possible	.	an	early	fight	between	takeshi	kaneshiro	and	yuen	biao	on	the	back	of	a	horse	is	to	be	seen	to	be	believed	.	also	noteworthy	is	the	score	for	the	film	,	done	in	a	marvelously	lush	orchestral	style	,	not	representative	of	most	hong	kong	fare	.	i	would	dare	to	say	it	ranks	as	high	as	the	scores	for	both	"	titanic	"	and	"	rosewood	"	as	best	of	the	year	.	all	in	all	,	"	hero	"	marks	a	grand	return	to	filmmaking	for	shaw	brothers	.	this	is	the	film	that	gives	us	faith	that	hong	kong	cinema	is	alive	and	flourishing	.
pos	trekkies	,	roger	nygard's	energetic	and	hilarious	documentary	,	brings	viewers	into	the	world	of	the	star	trek	conventions	.	the	beauty	of	the	film	is	that	it	is	good	old	fashion	fun	for	trekkies	and	non	fans	alike	.	(	the	film	generally	writes	off	the	trekkies	vs	.	trekker	polemic	as	not	worth	arguing	about	.	)	the	good	spirited	movie	trekkies	easily	forces	even	the	most	cynical	viewer	into	fits	of	uncontrollable	,	loud	giggles	,	yet	the	picture	treats	its	subject	matter	with	respect	and	a	certain	awe	.	denise	crosby	,	who	played	tasha	yar	on	"	star	trek	:	the	next	generation	,	"	serves	as	the	host	.	in	the	opening	credits	the	movie	reminds	us	that	trekkies	are	the	only	fan	group	listed	in	the	oxford	english	dictionary	(	oed	)	.	(	the	oed	cites	a	february	,	1976	caption	in	the	"	new	yorker	"	as	the	first	recorded	usage	of	the	word	.	)	unless	you've	been	to	the	conventions	,	i	posit	that	you	have	no	idea	of	the	dedication	of	some	of	the	fans	.	one	pointed	out	,	apologetically	,	that	the	stripe	on	his	new	uniform	was	slightly	inaccurate	.	others	talked	about	how	many	star	trek	conventions	they	had	attended	,	several	dozen	being	typical	and	hundreds	not	unheard	of	.	my	personal	favorite	fan	is	sir	speedy	photocopying	worker	barbara	adams	.	arguably	the	most	famous	of	all	the	trekkies	,	she	wears	her	uniform	every	waking	hour	as	many	die	hard	fans	do	.	her	claim	to	fame	is	that	,	as	a	juror	on	the	whitewater	trial	,	she	wore	it	in	court	as	well	.	"	every	day	i	would	walk	past	the	reporters	with	a	vulcan	like	stoicism	,	"	she	says	,	describing	her	way	of	dealing	with	the	crowd	of	reporters	who	became	obsessed	with	her	obsession	.	she	doesn't	quite	understand	all	of	the	uproar	.	"	i'm	an	officer	of	the	federation	24	hours	a	day	,	"	she	reminds	us	.	her	fealty	to	her	hobby	approaches	that	of	a	religious	faith	.	along	with	the	laugher	the	show	evokes	,	there	is	an	equal	measure	of	sincere	appreciation	for	people	with	such	loyalty	.	and	their	infectious	joy	provokes	a	certain	envy	of	their	enjoyment	.	few	other	avocations	could	give	this	much	satisfaction	.	these	people	are	having	the	time	of	their	lives	.	(	for	the	record	,	i'm	not	a	star	trek	fan	although	i	have	seen	some	of	the	movies	.	)	the	film	interviews	the	various	star	trek	series's	stars	as	well	as	its	fans	.	the	stars	had	thought	the	convention	idea	was	a	lark	and	would	soon	fade	,	but	over	twenty	years	later	,	the	conventions	are	still	going	strong	.	filled	with	anecdotes	,	the	show	talks	about	the	happenings	at	the	various	conventions	.	at	one	,	the	actor	who	plays	q	was	so	sick	that	he	thought	he	would	have	to	cancel	.	after	appearing	briefly	,	he	drank	some	water	and	left	.	they	decided	to	auction	off	his	half	empty	glass	,	joking	that	it	had	the	"	q	virus	.	"	the	guy	who	won	the	bidding	immediately	drank	the	water	and	screamed	to	the	crowd	that	he	now	had	the	q	virus	too	.	with	dedication	comes	a	certain	amount	of	stupidity	.	not	just	flitting	among	people	,	the	documentary	takes	the	time	to	let	you	get	to	know	the	trekkies	.	one	guy	is	a	trekkie	cross	dresser	,	another	dresses	her	cat	,	and	then	there	is	the	dentist	.	the	dentist	has	his	entire	office	made	up	to	look	like	a	star	trek	set	.	he	,	his	oral	hygienists	,	his	receptionist	,	his	wife	,	and	his	kids	wear	the	outfits	all	of	the	time	.	it	appears	that	his	workers	are	permitted	to	take	them	off	when	they	go	home	,	but	not	his	family	.	for	variety	,	he	and	his	family	do	change	characters	from	time	to	time	.	he	says	his	patients	like	it	.	well	,	there	was	this	one	complainer	,	but	he	had	a	problem	with	his	bill	anyway	.	there	are	summer	schools	for	klingon	with	ph	.	d	.	linguists	to	teach	the	language	.	hamlet	is	now	available	in	klingon	,	albeit	perhaps	not	at	your	local	bookstore	,	and	they	are	working	on	translating	the	bible	.	they	even	sell	united	federation	passports	that	are	real	enough	that	trekkies	have	used	them	to	fool	customs	,	even	u	.	s	.	customs	.	the	movie	bogs	down	only	briefly	when	it	tries	to	argue	the	series's	larger	meaning	about	diversity	and	humanitarian	concerns	.	sandwiched	in	between	the	levity	,	the	switch	in	tone	doesn't	work	.	the	incessantly	up	beat	film	ends	with	a	singing	elvis	impersonator	.	he	fits	right	in	.	trekkies	runs	a	breezy	1	:	26	.	it	is	not	rated	but	would	be	pg	for	brief	sexual	references	and	would	be	fine	for	all	ages	.
pos	tomorrow	never	dies	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	chambers	,	bill	chambers	(	what	movie	do	you	recommend	?	cast	your	opinion	on	my	updated	website	,	film	freak	central	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	a	)	starring	pierce	brosnan	,	michelle	yeoh	,	jonathan	pryce	,	teri	hatcher	written	by	bruce	fierstein	directed	by	roger	spottiswoode	let's	face	it	:	the	100	million	plus	smash	that	was	"	goldeneye	"	was	not	a	good	film	by	any	means	,	and	as	a	bond	movie	was	only	marginally	better	than	,	say	,	"	a	view	to	a	kill	"	or	either	of	the	timothy	dalton	pictures	,	by	virtue	of	nice	pacing	.	but	it	did	revive	the	series	,	and	granted	the	producers	some	new	directions	in	which	to	take	the	it	(	ie	.	the	new	"	m	"	is	a	woman	)	.	"	tomorrow	never	dies	"	is	the	picture	"	goldeneye	"	should	have	been	;	it's	also	the	most	entertaining	bond	outing	since	"	the	spy	who	loved	me	"	.	the	new	picture	opens	with	china	considering	war	with	britain	after	a	standard	military	operation	is	misconstrued	as	a	hostile	threat	from	an	english	submarine	.	as	an	attack	occurs	,	the	front	page	headline	is	already	being	prepared	,	courtesy	of	carver	media	.	carver	(	pryce	)	the	man	is	a	deluded	magnate	,	a	sort	of	hybrid	of	ted	turner	,	bill	gates	,	and	peter	sellars'	german	scientist	from	"	dr	.	strangelove	"	(	physically	,	pryce	even	recalls	sellars	in	his	kubrick	days	)	.	it's	up	to	james	bond	to	take	him	down	,	with	assistance	,	of	course	,	from	a	wealth	of	gadgets	(	including	a	multi	purpose	cell	phone	)	,	and	beautiful	women	.	enter	michelle	yeoh	,	fresh	from	"	supercop	"	,	as	a	chinese	secret	agent	with	her	own	agenda	;	with	effortless	grace	,	she	cat	burgles	,	dispatches	baddies	seemingly	with	the	ease	of	preparing	pasta	,	and	refuses	the	advances	of	our	philandering	hero	.	they	make	a	great	team	.	"	tomorrow	never	dies	"	is	a	surprisingly	entertaining	and	efficient	film	,	given	that	at	the	helm	is	none	other	than	the	director	of	"	turner	hooch	"	.	spottiswoode	has	crafted	some	breathtaking	set	pieces	,	each	much	more	intricate	and	impressive	than	,	for	instance	,	the	tank	scene	in	"	goldeneye	"	.	moreover	,	brosnan	has	at	last	settled	into	the	role	some	feel	he	was	born	to	play	;	last	time	out	,	the	fate	of	the	franchise	rested	on	his	shoulders	,	and	there	was	noticeable	discomfort	in	his	body	language	.	returned	in	brosnan's	eyes	has	some	of	the	playfulness	he	demonstrated	for	so	many	years	on	tv's	"	remington	steele	"	,	as	has	his	deadpan	wit	.	and	though	carver's	motives	are	muddy	(	when	carver	explains	that	"	genius	is	insanity	with	some	success	"	,	screenwriter	fierstein	is	taking	a	lazy	shortcut	)	,	pryce	makes	an	agreeable	,	memorable	villain	.	in	the	future	,	they	should	pursue	actors	as	talented	and	experienced	as	pryce	to	breathe	life	into	these	cardboard	figures	.	there	a	few	too	many	explosions	in	"	tomorrow	never	dies	"	,	perhaps	so	many	they	qualify	as	dialogue	.	and	it	could	have	used	a	sharper	script	,	though	i	was	amused	by	the	double	entendres	,	none	of	which	i	will	reveal	here	.	as	it	stands	,	the	plot	suffers	many	holes	(	i'm	not	taking	about	implausibilities	)	,	and	the	dialogue	tends	towards	the	hackneyed	.	now	that	the	elements	are	in	place	:	modern	special	effects	and	stunt	work	,	cool	pierce	brosnan	,	kickass	female	allies	.	.	.	it's	time	to	put	them	to	use	in	something	truly	special	.	there's	no	mistaking	,	however	,	that	"	tomorrow	never	dies	"	is	ideal	holiday	escapism	,	and	for	the	first	time	in	perhaps	years	,	you'll	walk	out	wanting	more	bond	movies	.	reviewed	december	17	,	1997
pos	(	1996	)	starring	jennifer	jason	leigh	,	ron	eldard	,	glenne	headley	,	lyle	lovett	,	jena	malone	,	dermot	mulroney	,	christina	ricci	screenplay	by	anne	meredith	,	based	on	the	book	by	dorothy	allison	produced	by	amanda	digiulio	directed	by	anjelica	huston	running	time	:	97	minutes	for	more	than	a	decade	,	anjelica	huston	has	been	one	of	america's	finest	actresses	.	in	her	directorial	debut	,	bastard	out	of	carolina	,	based	upon	dorothy	allison's	largely	autobiographical	book	on	child	abuse	and	poverty	in	the	south	,	huston	displays	impressive	proficiency	behind	the	camera	as	well	.	the	film	tells	the	story	of	ruth	anne	boatwright	,	nicknamed	bone	by	one	of	her	uncles	at	birth	,	in	post	world	war	ii	south	carolina	.	through	voice	over	(	narration	done	by	laura	dern	)	,	we	find	that	she	nearly	didn't	survive	birth	,	as	her	single	mother	anney	,	played	by	jennifer	jason	leigh	,	was	thrown	through	the	windshield	during	an	automobile	accident	.	that's	just	the	beginning	of	her	troubles	.	bone	is	deemed	illegitimate	on	her	birth	certificate	,	a	social	stigma	which	her	mother	and	her	large	poor	family	obsesses	over	for	years	to	come	.	anney	meets	and	weds	lyle	,	a	kind	man	and	good	stepfather	whom	gives	bone	a	baby	sister	before	dying	in	an	automobile	accident	.	anney's	brother	earle	,	played	by	michael	rooker	,	introduces	her	to	glen	,	played	by	ron	eldard	,	a	co	worker	at	the	mill	.	glen	,	the	black	sheep	of	a	wealthy	family	(	"	when	are	you	gonna	make	your	daddy	proud	?	i'll	tell	you	when	never	!	"	he's	told	)	and	filled	with	bitterness	,	courts	anney	and	eventually	wins	her	,	despite	warnings	of	a	violent	temper	.	when	anney	miscarries	with	his	much	prized	baby	boy	,	glen	loses	his	capability	to	supress	his	violent	outbursts	and	begins	to	direct	them	at	bone	,	beating	and	abusing	her	,	while	the	love	dependent	anney	tries	to	turn	a	blind	eye	and	justify	his	behaviour	.	things	turn	for	the	worse	when	glen	loses	his	job	and	the	family	of	four	sink	into	impoverishment	.	while	set	several	decades	ago	,	this	story	remains	completely	relevant	in	today's	society	,	where	abused	wives	return	to	their	husbands	,	and	abuse	committed	against	children	by	one	spouse	is	routinely	overlooked	by	the	other	.	the	real	star	of	this	domestic	drama	is	not	top	billed	jennifer	jason	leigh	,	but	child	actress	jena	malone	,	who	plays	bone	in	a	wrenching	and	wholly	impressive	debut	performance	.	her	work	is	of	award	calibre	,	and	in	this	age	in	which	a	preponderence	of	superb	child	performers	have	emerged	(	kirsten	dunst	,	tina	majorino	,	anna	paquin	,	natalie	portman	,	christina	ricci	,	elijah	wood	)	,	malone's	performance	stands	up	well	.	leigh's	performance	in	bastard	out	of	carolina	is	fine	,	although	she's	not	really	given	much	to	do	,	and	ron	eldard	work	is	very	solid	,	skillfully	manouvering	his	character's	moods	in	and	out	of	explosive	rage	.	one	can	always	sense	that	underneath	his	glen	is	a	pressure	cooker	ticking	away	.	of	the	supporting	cast	,	special	note	must	be	made	of	the	criminally	underrated	michael	rooker's	performance	.	there's	a	bit	too	much	generic	formulaism	in	the	screenplay	for	my	taste	,	from	the	various	characters	spouting	off	country	bumpkinisms	,	to	the	familiar	sight	of	a	dried	up	uptight	wise	old	granny	(	played	by	grace	zabriskie	)	sitting	on	the	porch	rocking	chair	,	to	impassioned	soliloquies	better	suited	for	a	stage	performance	.	still	,	it	cannot	be	denied	that	anne	meredith's	screenplay	contains	a	wallop	of	emotional	power	.	huston's	direction	of	the	film	is	surehanded	and	impressive	,	giving	the	film	good	pacing	and	eliciting	good	performances	from	her	cast	,	particularly	the	young	malone	.	her	sequences	of	child	abuse	are	shot	in	a	hard	hitting	emotional	,	rather	than	graphic	,	manner	,	and	are	very	effective	.	huston's	talent	with	camera	positioning	is	wonderful	,	from	a	visually	striking	shot	done	through	a	fan	,	to	an	extended	sequence	in	the	front	seat	of	an	automobile	.	the	film	has	the	toned	down	feel	of	a	television	production	;	bastard	out	of	carolina	was	originally	composed	and	cut	for	broadcast	on	the	tnt	cable	station	,	who	ended	up	declining	the	film	due	to	sentiments	that	scenes	of	abuse	and	rape	in	the	film	were	too	disturbingly	realistic	for	their	audience	.	perhaps	some	sequences	of	the	film	may	be	unpleasant	,	but	as	a	whole	bastard	out	of	carolina	adds	up	to	a	powerful	viewer	experience	worth	seeing	.
pos	titantic	,	writer	and	director	james	cameron's	much	anticipated	and	sometimes	ridiculed	200	,	000	,	000	epic	,	arrives	shortly	into	the	theaters	so	the	question	naturally	arises	,	whether	the	film	is	worth	it	?	as	a	business	proposition	,	it	seems	hard	to	see	how	it	can	ever	break	even	,	but	as	a	movie	it	is	nothing	short	of	wonderful	.	if	you've	already	neatly	categorized	it	as	yet	another	disaster	movie	a	la	volcano	or	the	poseidon	adventure	,	think	again	.	the	movie	is	both	a	great	love	story	told	with	the	disaster	as	a	backdrop	and	a	portrayal	of	one	of	the	world's	most	memorable	disasters	made	real	and	personal	by	seeing	it	through	the	eyes	of	two	young	lovers	.	in	either	case	,	it	is	filmmaking	at	its	best	.	when	we	entered	the	press	screening	,	my	wife	asked	the	publicity	rep	if	there	would	be	an	intermission	since	the	film	runs	three	and	a	quarter	hours	long	.	he	said	no	but	that	the	time	would	go	by	so	fast	she'd	never	notice	the	length	.	amazingly	,	he	was	right	.	titanic	is	one	of	the	few	long	films	that	doesn't	suffer	because	of	it	.	the	lush	picture	,	filmed	by	russell	carpenter	in	70mm	,	opens	in	the	present	with	two	diving	subs	exploring	the	wreck	of	the	titanic	on	the	bottom	of	the	ocean	.	fortune	hunter	brock	lovett	(	bill	paxton	)	leads	the	expedition	looking	for	the	world's	most	valuable	diamond	necklace	that	went	down	with	the	ship	,	known	back	then	as	"	the	ship	of	dreams	.	"	the	necklace's	hundred	year	old	former	owner	,	rose	dewitt	bukater	(	gloria	stuart	)	,	finds	brock	to	tell	him	her	story	.	although	almost	all	of	the	movie	happens	in	flashback	,	one	of	the	engineers	shows	the	elderly	rose	exactly	how	the	ship	was	sunk	.	using	a	computer	simulation	,	the	movie	takes	the	time	to	explain	what	will	happen	later	,	which	adds	immensely	to	making	a	lucid	story	out	of	what	would	have	otherwise	been	hopelessly	confusing	.	after	twenty	minutes	,	the	story	makes	its	jump	to	the	past	as	the	titanic	leaves	on	her	maiden	voyage	.	in	a	classic	movie	theme	,	the	two	parts	of	the	ship	,	first	class	and	steerage	(	third	class	)	exist	in	sharp	contrast	.	the	strength	of	the	script	is	the	way	it	paints	the	differences	between	rich	and	poor	without	excessive	moralizing	.	entering	the	ship	on	its	day	out	is	rose	along	with	her	millionaire	fiance	,	cal	hockley	,	played	with	perfect	snobbishness	by	billy	zane	.	and	thanks	to	a	last	minute	winning	poker	hand	,	an	itinerant	artist	named	jack	dawson	gets	himself	into	a	little	shared	cabin	in	third	class	.	even	with	her	own	promenade	deck	,	rose	feels	trapped	on	the	ship	,	what	with	an	upcoming	marriage	to	a	man	she	loathes	.	in	contrast	,	jack	can	barely	contain	his	euphoria	at	being	on	board	.	after	jack	saves	rose	from	committing	suicide	,	they	start	a	brief	but	impassioned	love	affair	.	never	tawdry	and	rarely	explicit	,	their	romance	has	the	power	to	sweep	the	audience	into	the	story	.	leonardo	dicaprio	in	his	best	performance	ever	plays	jack	with	confidence	and	charisma	.	in	so	many	ways	,	small	and	large	,	he	makes	all	the	right	decisions	in	his	approach	to	the	part	.	when	he	confronts	cal	,	for	example	,	he	remains	composed	and	polite	and	yet	subtly	undermines	every	one	of	cal's	supercilious	put	downs	.	kate	winslet	gives	a	wonderfully	captivating	performance	as	young	rose	.	the	chemistry	between	these	two	academy	award	nominees	,	him	for	what's	eating	gilbert	grape	and	her	for	sense	and	sensibility	,	is	nothing	short	of	astonishing	.	from	the	scene	where	he	embarrasses	her	by	repeatedly	asking	if	she	loves	her	finace	to	the	beautiful	one	of	them	hanging	off	the	ship's	bow	to	the	one	where	she	embarrasses	him	by	asking	him	to	paint	her	nude	,	they	dazzle	the	screen	with	a	pair	of	mesmerizing	performances	.	if	the	film	breaks	after	an	hour	and	a	half	,	which	is	how	long	cameron	wisely	waits	to	have	the	iceberg	show	up	,	you	will	still	get	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	year	.	peter	lamont's	sets	are	more	than	authentic	.	one	scene	,	for	example	,	starts	with	the	planning	to	retire	captain	,	played	with	insouciance	by	bernard	hill	,	having	his	tea	on	deck	.	it	then	shifts	to	the	ship's	massive	gears	and	then	to	the	bright	hot	boiler	room	filled	with	sweating	muscular	men	shoveling	in	the	coals	.	the	handsome	interior	common	rooms	of	the	ship	resemble	a	palace	more	than	an	ocean	liner	.	easily	the	most	fascinating	part	of	the	story	is	what	happens	after	the	iceberg	hits	and	before	the	battle	with	the	water	begins	in	earnest	.	at	first	,	since	the	iceberg	tears	a	series	of	little	gashes	in	the	hull	,	not	some	big	gaping	hole	,	the	passengers	view	the	hit	as	more	of	curiosity	than	anything	else	.	what	a	lark	.	we've	struck	an	iceberg	.	now	let's	get	back	to	our	brandy	and	cigars	.	the	ship's	musicians	play	like	troopers	through	it	all	,	even	after	the	panic	sets	in	.	after	all	,	they	see	it	as	their	duty	to	calm	the	passengers	.	when	the	musicians	are	about	to	die	,	they	politely	thank	each	other	for	the	pleasure	of	being	able	to	play	together	,	and	they	mean	it	.	their	civility	borders	on	insanity	,	but	it	is	touching	nevertheless	.	the	story	is	so	rich	that	my	description	has	merely	touched	the	surface	.	there	are	more	than	enough	characters	to	love	and	to	hate	,	and	all	of	the	casting	is	dead	on	.	special	effects	work	best	when	their	presence	becomes	almost	undetectable	.	in	titanic	,	for	which	he	created	a	nine	tenths	scale	model	of	the	entire	ship	,	cameron	strove	for	accuracy	at	all	costs	.	the	most	dramatic	moment	in	the	film	happens	when	the	ship	breaks	in	two	,	and	the	front	section	becomes	vertical	in	the	water	.	people	are	flung	like	ants	either	into	the	water	to	be	shortly	frozen	to	death	or	into	other	parts	of	the	ship	to	be	crushed	immediately	.	besides	being	romantic	and	dramatic	,	the	script	includes	liberal	doses	of	humor	.	from	the	many	deliciously	subtle	verbal	put	downs	to	the	physical	comedy	,	as	when	jack	teaches	rose	to	spit	like	a	man	,	the	show	elicits	laughter	in	addition	to	perhaps	a	few	tears	.	"	it's	good	bye	for	a	little	while	,	"	a	less	than	confident	father	tells	his	little	girl	since	it	was	indeed	women	and	children	first	.	"	this	boat's	for	mommies	and	children	.	there'll	be	a	boat	in	a	little	while	for	daddies	.	"	basically	there	was	a	design	decision	to	have	fewer	than	half	of	the	necessary	life	boats	it	made	the	decks	look	too	crowded	otherwise	.	perhaps	the	sinking	is	best	summarized	by	one	of	the	guggenheim's	on	board	the	ship	.	in	the	dining	room	with	the	lifeboats	gone	and	the	ship	certain	to	sink	,	he	is	offered	a	life	jacket	by	one	of	the	crew	.	"	no	thanks	,	"	the	elegantly	attired	guggenheim	replies	.	"	we're	dressed	in	our	best	and	would	prefer	to	go	down	like	gentlemen	.	but	we	would	like	a	brandy	.	"	titanic	runs	3	:	14	.	it	is	rated	pg	13	for	tastefully	and	delicately	presented	sex	and	nudity	and	would	be	fine	for	kids	twelve	and	up	.
pos	grease	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	)	paramount	1	:	50	1978	pg	(	language	,	innuendo	,	brief	nudity	)	cast	:	john	travolta	;	olivia	newton	john	;	stockard	channing	;	jeff	conaway	;	barry	pearl	;	michael	tucci	;	kelly	ward	;	didi	conn	;	jamie	donnelly	;	dinah	manoff	;	eve	arden	;	sid	caesar	;	frankie	avalon	;	joan	blondell	;	edd	byrnes	;	alice	ghostley	director	:	randal	kleiser	screenplay	:	allan	carr	;	bronte	woodward	hr	those	print	and	television	ads	trumpeting	that	"	'grease'	is	still	the	word	"	are	right	on	the	money	.	to	celebrate	its	20th	anniversary	,	this	quintessential	movie	musical	is	getting	the	royal	treatment	reserved	for	classics	like	"	star	wars	"	a	well	deserved	,	red	carpet	rerelease	.	that's	fantastic	,	especially	when	considering	of	all	the	classic	characters	and	scenes	the	film	has	served	up	who	can	forget	aspiring	beautician	frenchie	(	didi	conn	)	being	serenaded	by	her	tell	it	like	it	is	guardian	angel	(	frankie	avalon	)	?	or	the	hard	nosed	principal	(	eve	arden	)	reminding	the	student	body	to	"	be	an	athletic	supporter	"	by	rooting	for	the	home	team	?	or	national	bandstand	emcee	vince	fontaine	(	edd	byrnes	)	flirting	with	marty	(	a	pre	"	empty	nest	"	dinah	manhoff	)	?	and	these	are	all	probably	considered	minor	moments	.	.	.	a	very	skinny	john	travolta	and	a	very	young	olivia	newton	john	have	the	respective	leads	of	danny	zuko	and	sandy	olsson	,	and	their	pairing	still	ranks	as	one	of	screendom's	most	effervescently	charming	.	for	those	eight	of	you	who	aren't	familiar	with	the	story	,	here's	a	brief	recap	:	greaser	bad	boy	danny	and	aussie	good	girl	sandy	are	reunited	for	their	1959	senior	year	at	rydell	high	after	a	brief	fling	during	the	summer	;	both	thought	she	was	going	to	return	to	her	native	continent	before	school	started	,	but	both	were	wrong	.	sandy	tries	to	rekindle	their	relationship	,	but	danny's	too	cool	a	cat	to	fall	for	her	wholesome	appeal	in	front	of	his	t	bird	buddies	(	including	jeff	conaway	)	.	so	sandy	hooks	up	with	a	gang	herself	the	pink	ladies	,	headed	by	sassy	,	sexy	rizzo	(	stockard	channing	,	just	superb	as	an	independent	woman	well	ahead	of	her	time	)	and	danny	,	who	still	really	feels	love	for	her	,	attempts	a	compromise	of	ideals	in	order	to	win	her	back	.	the	drag	race	finale	is	yet	something	of	a	drag	,	and	i	never	have	thought	much	of	"	greased	lightening	,	"	the	film's	big	"	guy	"	number	(	that	choreography	ack	!	)	,	but	"	grease	"	's	flaws	amount	too	few	to	carp	.	the	movie's	first	showpiece	is	"	summer	nights	,	"	where	danny	and	sandy	separately	recount	wildly	different	versions	of	their	fun	in	the	sun	romance	.	not	only	is	"	nights	"	tremendously	catchy	,	but	it's	also	a	smart	look	at	how	men	and	women	see	the	same	events	with	varying	eyes	.	there	has	yet	to	be	a	live	action	musical	sequence	that	rivals	the	one	two	punch	of	"	you're	the	one	that	i	want	"	and	"	we	go	together	,	"	"	grease	"	's	euphoric	cappers	.	all	this	and	some	of	the	most	pleasing	moments	come	from	the	smaller	,	quieter	moments	;	the	oscar	nominated	"	hopelessly	devoted	to	you	"	is	a	lovely	showcase	for	newton	john	,	and	channing's	lamenting	ballad	"	there	are	worse	things	i	could	do	"	is	one	of	"	grease	"	's	most	unjustly	overlooked	tunes	.	the	soundtrack	is	remastered	(	though	travolta	still	hits	that	awful	high	note	at	the	end	of	"	nights	"	)	and	the	restored	widescreen	allows	us	to	see	previously	pan	and	scanned	out	choreography	,	but	nothing	else	has	changed	no	computer	generated	backgrounds	,	no	outtakes	or	new	musical	numbers	,	no	jabba	the	hutt	cameos	.	and	it's	a	testament	to	"	grease	"	's	timeless	success	that	nothing	needs	to	be	changed	it's	the	same	all	around	blast	it's	always	been	,	with	an	appealing	cast	in	a	fun	story	told	with	great	music	.	to	'90s	viewers	,	"	grease	"	will	probably	recall	disco	and	bellbottoms	as	much	as	it	made	its	original	audience	nostalgic	for	doo	wop	and	poodle	skirts	.	but	regardless	of	what	decade	it	transports	us	to	,	we	can	all	agree	on	one	thing	without	a	doubt	,	"	grease	"	is	still	the	word	.	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	suggestions	,	please	,	for	the	fourth	movie	in	the	series	.	how	about	look	who's	talking	back	,	'	in	which	the	audience	gets	its	turn	?	"	roger	ebert	on	"	look	who's	talking	now	"
pos	the	opening	crawl	tells	us	that	the	galaxy	is	in	turmoil	over	the	taxation	of	trade	routes	,	and	the	greedy	trade	federation	has	used	it's	armada	of	powerful	space	battleships	to	blockade	the	planet	naboo	.	we	soon	find	that	the	federation	plans	to	invade	the	planet	with	an	enormous	army	of	warrior	robots	and	force	naboo's	ruler	,	the	young	queen	amidala	(	natalie	portman	)	to	sign	a	treaty	giving	the	federation	control	.	however	,	the	galactic	republic	has	sent	jedi	knights	qui	gon	jinn	(	liam	neeson	)	and	obi	wan	kenobi	(	ewan	mcgregor	)	as	emissaries	to	the	federation	in	order	to	negotiate	for	the	ending	of	the	blockade	.	no	sooner	do	they	arrive	than	the	federation	leaders	are	instructed	via	holographic	transmission	by	a	mysterious	cloaked	figure	to	destroy	the	jedi	,	and	the	first	battle	begins	.	it	seems	that	for	me	and	thousands	of	people	like	me	,	the	love	for	george	lucas's	trilogy	of	star	wars	movies	has	only	grown	over	time	.	we're	the	fans	,	not	the	freaks	.	we	won't	go	dressing	up	like	darth	vader	(	although	you	have	to	admit	those	imperial	uniforms	are	pretty	darn	cool	)	,	and	we	won't	incorporate	lines	from	the	script	in	our	everyday	conversations	(	not	all	the	time	,	anyway	)	,	but	if	someone	wants	to	challenge	us	to	a	little	trivia	contest	,	we're	throwing	down	.	all	right	,	stop	looking	at	me	like	that	.	we	have	been	faithfully	and	patiently	waiting	.	waiting	for	this	movie	ever	since	the	end	credits	of	return	of	the	jedi	started	to	roll	.	you	see	,	the	trilogy	is	not	just	a	set	of	movies	,	but	a	religion	of	sorts	to	we	,	the	faithful	disciples	,	and	the	phantom	menace	is	tantamount	to	the	second	coming	of	the	messiah	.	unfortunately	,	it	is	not	our	savior	.	for	weeks	beforehand	,	i	was	going	around	telling	people	that	this	movie	had	better	be	damned	good	stupendously	good	miraculously	good	.	anything	less	and	it'll	be	the	biggest	disappointment	of	the	century	.	i	didn't	want	the	doomsaying	prophecy	to	come	true	,	really	i	didn't	,	but	this	film	nevertheless	fails	to	reach	the	pinnacles	of	filmmaking	.	character	development	is	virtually	nonexistent	.	with	the	possible	exception	of	qui	gon	,	most	of	the	film's	characters	seem	left	with	nothing	to	do	but	go	through	the	motions	.	none	seem	very	affected	by	their	experiences	,	and	few	even	show	any	passion	at	all	.	contrast	this	with	the	horribly	irritating	comic	relief	we	are	nearly	continuously	subjected	to	in	the	form	of	jar	jar	binks	,	a	creature	belonging	to	a	race	which	lives	in	underwater	cities	on	naboo	,	in	precarious	symbiosis	with	the	land	dwellers	led	by	amidala	.	jar	jar's	life	is	saved	by	qui	gon	early	in	the	film	,	and	travels	with	our	heroes	for	the	sole	reason	of	making	us	laugh	(	or	supposedly	so	)	.	his	speech	mannerisms	are	so	"	cute	ified	"	that	i	couldn't	understand	a	third	of	what	he	was	saying	,	and	the	slapstick	he	performed	was	just	distracting	.	his	head	gets	caught	in	an	electronic	field	,	his	foot	gets	caught	in	the	stirrup	of	some	large	beast	,	he	describes	being	in	trouble	as	"	deep	doo	doo	,	"	and	even	manages	to	step	in	some	of	the	same	while	walking	around	in	mos	eisley	spaceport	.	therein	lies	a	key	difference	between	this	film	and	one	of	its	predecessors	.	in	star	wars	,	we	had	obi	wan	telling	us	mos	eisley	was	a	"	wretched	hive	of	scum	and	villainy	.	"	in	the	phantom	menace	,	we	get	doo	doo	.	the	films	of	the	trilogy	took	me	away	from	my	everyday	life	and	immersed	me	in	a	story	"	a	long	time	ago	in	a	galaxy	far	,	far	away	.	.	.	.	"	this	film	,	on	the	other	hand	,	constantly	reminds	me	that	it's	only	a	movie	by	including	situations	and	phrases	that	are	so	uniquely	modern	american	that	they	seem	incredibly	out	of	place	and	serve	to	jerk	the	viewer	from	the	experience	.	perhaps	the	most	blatant	offense	occurs	during	a	scene	where	young	anakin	skywalker	enters	into	a	pod	racing	competition	(	it's	kind	of	like	chariot	racing	with	large	engines	instead	of	horses	)	,	and	there	are	a	couple	of	commentators	in	a	press	box	delivering	indy	500	like	play	by	play	.	i	liked	the	pod	race	;	it	was	really	exciting	and	ratcheted	the	tension	,	but	when	the	heck	did	lucas	think	up	the	idea	of	putting	in	the	sportscasters	?	the	race	would	have	been	even	more	exciting	without	the	distraction	.	this	aspect	,	coupled	with	the	emphasis	on	humor	simply	baffled	me	.	i	suppose	one	may	say	that	lucas	was	trying	to	appeal	to	the	younger	viewer	,	but	would	more	intelligent	scenes	and	dialog	hurt	this	appeal	at	all	?	didn't	millions	of	youngsters	still	go	back	to	see	the	original	star	wars	in	1977	over	and	over	again	?	didn't	the	action	figures	still	sell	like	hotcakes	?	of	course	they	did	,	and	it's	only	poor	judgment	that	allows	the	most	eagerly	awaited	film	in	history	to	be	marred	by	pandering	to	children	who	would	still	have	enjoyed	a	film	with	more	appeal	for	adults	.	one	aspect	that	will	appeal	broadly	,	however	,	is	the	use	of	special	effects	.	the	people	at	lucas's	industrial	light	and	magic	,	the	world's	premiere	effects	house	,	outdid	themselves	in	providing	seamless	integration	of	computer	generated	images	and	real	life	footage	.	some	of	the	scenes	have	to	be	seen	to	be	believed	,	especially	the	shots	of	a	land	battle	between	the	federation's	robot	army	and	jar	jar's	countrymen	.	the	space	battles	are	also	impressive	,	although	improved	over	past	efforts	by	only	subtle	margins	to	the	casual	observer	.	this	,	however	,	is	a	testament	to	the	work	which	ilm	produced	two	decades	ago	and	still	holds	up	well	today	.	john	williams	is	back	,	of	course	,	providing	a	score	for	the	film	as	only	he	can	.	his	music	is	pervasive	throughout	,	as	rousing	and	as	dramatic	as	ever	,	always	serving	to	punctuate	scenes	noticeably	and	appropriately	.	since	this	film	is	supposed	to	be	the	first	installment	in	a	nine	episode	story	(	star	wars	,	the	empire	strikes	back	and	return	of	the	jedi	being	episodes	four	,	five	and	six	,	respectively	)	,	the	phantom	menace	has	the	daunting	task	of	setting	up	the	origins	of	several	characters	we	know	already	,	in	addition	to	those	with	whom	we	unfamiliar	.	as	a	result	,	attention	to	history	and	characterization	was	spread	a	little	thin	.	it	would	have	been	nice	to	get	more	in	depth	with	yoda	and	obi	wan	,	for	example	,	but	given	the	fact	that	there	were	several	new	characters	to	cover	,	it	is	understandable	that	some	of	the	development	has	been	left	for	the	next	two	films	.	one	of	the	new	characters	is	darth	maul	,	hailed	as	the	new	villain	with	as	much	hype	as	marketing	forces	could	muster	prior	to	this	film's	release	.	in	spite	of	the	hype	,	darth	maul	is	a	character	which	almost	didn't	have	to	be	in	the	film	,	his	role	is	so	insignificant	.	he	has	maybe	three	spoken	lines	(	believe	it	or	not	,	a	second	actor	voices	the	character	)	and	the	rest	of	the	time	just	scowls	and	looks	mean	.	with	that	working	against	him	,	he	never	has	a	chance	at	being	interesting	and	instead	ends	up	an	utter	disappointment	.	lucas	seems	to	have	wanted	to	develop	the	spiritual	nature	of	the	star	wars	universe	,	something	which	has	been	prominent	throughout	.	however	,	he	does	so	largely	by	paralleling	the	star	wars	spirituality	with	the	bible	,	offering	an	easy	out	for	story	writing	and	once	again	bringing	the	viewer	back	to	planet	earth	with	a	real	life	connection	.	oddly	,	while	trying	to	capitalize	on	spirituality	,	lucas	at	the	same	time	introduces	the	fact	that	mastery	of	the	force	is	dependent	upon	having	little	force	loving	parasites	in	your	body's	cells	.	this	only	serves	to	de	mystify	the	workings	of	the	force	a	few	notches	by	offering	a	scientific	connection	.	don't	let	me	mislead	you	too	far	.	the	phantom	menace	,	by	most	standards	,	is	a	good	film	.	it	contains	a	lot	of	visual	treats	,	sets	the	stage	for	an	epic	story	,	gives	us	a	bit	of	excitement	here	and	there	,	and	even	allows	us	to	revisit	some	of	our	old	friends	.	it's	just	that	when	held	up	to	it's	predecessors	(	and	to	not	do	so	would	be	unrealistic	)	,	this	film	simply	pales	.
pos	with	the	exception	of	their	surrealistic	satire	barton	fink	,	the	films	of	joel	and	ethan	coen	fit	into	two	broad	categories	:	quirky	and	sometimes	darkly	humorous	takes	on	the	"	film	noir	"	genre	in	which	crime	schemes	go	wrong	and	spin	increasingly	out	of	control	(	fargo	,	miller's	crossing	,	blood	simple	)	,	and	off	the	wall	comedies	centered	around	an	eccentric	,	scatter	brained	lead	character	(	raising	arizona	,	the	hudsucker	proxy	)	.	their	latest	offering	,	the	big	lebowski	,	falls	within	the	latter	category	,	though	there	are	elements	of	the	crime	gone	wrong	theme	and	even	a	touch	of	satire	to	be	found	in	this	film	.	the	main	difference	,	however	,	is	that	while	the	protagonists	of	raising	arizona	and	the	hudsucker	proxy	had	lofty	aspirations	and	ideals	but	didn't	quite	have	the	brains	to	get	it	all	together	,	the	main	character	of	the	big	lebowski	seems	like	a	fairly	intelligent	guy	who's	wise	to	the	world	,	but	he	doesn't	really	want	to	do	much	of	anything	besides	go	bowling	,	smoke	pot	,	and	generally	relax	.	that	main	character	is	jeffrey	"	the	dude	"	lebowski	(	jeff	bridges	)	,	introduced	by	the	film's	rambling	narrator	(	sam	elliott	)	as	"	quite	possibly	the	laziest	man	in	los	angeles	county	.	"	the	dude	is	unemployed	,	needless	to	say	,	and	spends	most	of	his	time	at	the	bowling	alley	with	his	two	best	friends	,	walter	(	john	goodman	)	,	a	borderline	psychotic	who's	in	the	habit	of	pulling	a	gun	when	he	thinks	somebody's	cheating	in	a	bowling	match	(	"	has	the	whole	world	gone	crazy	?	!	"	he	shouts	at	a	suspected	cheater	)	,	and	donny	(	steve	buscemi	)	,	who's	always	a	few	steps	behind	the	conversation	and	is	constantly	berated	by	walter	for	it	(	"	donny	,	you	have	no	frame	of	reference	here	!	"	)	.	these	three	seem	to	more	or	less	live	for	bowling	tournaments	,	and	as	the	film	begins	they	are	anticipating	an	important	match	with	rival	bowler	jesus	quintana	(	john	turturro	)	,	who	,	when	we	first	meet	him	,	is	doing	a	dance	in	the	bowling	lane	to	accompany	a	spanish	version	of	"	hotel	california	"	and	,	if	it's	possible	,	seems	to	be	even	more	of	a	head	case	than	walter	.	if	that	doesn't	give	you	a	good	idea	of	this	film's	absurdist	tone	,	then	perhaps	this	will	:	the	entire	scenario	which	drives	the	story	is	set	in	motion	by	two	thugs	mistakenly	urinating	on	the	dude's	rug	.	they've	mistaken	him	for	a	millionaire	of	the	same	name	who	is	also	known	as	the	"	big	"	lebowski	(	david	huddleston	)	and	whose	nymphomaniac	wife	bunny	(	tara	reid	)	owes	money	to	porn	producer	jackie	treehorn	(	ben	gazzara	)	.	the	dude	goes	to	the	big	lebowski	seeking	compensation	for	his	ruined	rug	;	he	doesn't	have	any	luck	,	but	when	bunny	is	apparently	kidnapped	,	the	elder	lebowski	asks	him	to	deliver	the	1	million	ransom	.	unfortunately	,	walter	gets	involved	and	fouls	up	the	drop	off	,	and	before	they	can	try	again	to	get	the	money	to	the	supposed	kidnappers	,	the	dude's	car	gets	stolen	,	along	with	the	briefcase	containing	the	money	.	soon	,	the	dude	is	being	harassed	not	only	by	the	big	lebowski	himself	but	also	by	treehorn	and	by	a	group	of	german	"	nihilists	"	who	demand	the	ransom	money	even	though	they	may	not	have	been	involved	in	the	kidnapping	in	the	first	place	;	the	dude	and	walter	suspect	that	bunny	may	well	have	kidnapped	herself	in	order	to	extort	money	from	her	husband	to	repay	her	debts	to	treehorn	.	meanwhile	,	the	big	lebowski's	daughter	maude	(	julianne	moore	)	,	a	feminist	avant	garde	artist	who	likes	to	make	grand	entrances	swinging	through	the	air	naked	,	wants	to	recover	the	money	for	her	family	.	the	plot	,	however	,	is	really	just	a	vehicle	for	all	these	bizarre	characters	to	run	wild	and	wreak	their	own	unique	forms	of	havoc	.	the	previews	for	the	big	lebowski	feature	creedence	clearwater	revival's	"	run	through	the	jungle	,	"	and	it	fits	:	the	coens	see	los	angeles	as	a	veritable	jungle	of	oddballs	and	nutcases	,	with	the	sometimes	bewildered	dude	left	to	run	through	it	and	try	to	avoid	any	more	trouble	(	usually	unsuccessfully	)	.	the	film	doesn't	feature	quite	as	many	one	liners	and	sight	gags	as	the	coens'	other	comedies	(	though	there	are	a	few	hilarious	moments	of	visual	humor	,	particularly	in	the	dude's	dream	sequences	and	acid	flashbacks	)	,	but	it	more	than	makes	up	for	it	with	the	sheer	fun	of	watching	these	strange	characters	interact	.	the	film	sometimes	seems	a	little	disjointed	as	a	result	you	get	the	feeling	that	the	coens	have	not	only	set	their	characters	loose	in	this	"	jungle	"	but	are	also	themselves	running	crazy	through	the	jungle	of	their	own	twisted	imaginations	but	for	the	most	part	the	characterizations	are	interesting	enough	to	overcome	the	shaky	plotting	and	what	turns	out	to	be	a	somewhat	anticlimactic	resolution	.	there's	also	a	noticeable	(	but	not	too	heavy	handed	)	thread	of	social	commentary	in	the	big	lebowski	,	which	,	incidentally	,	takes	place	just	as	the	gulf	war	is	about	to	begin	;	at	the	beginning	,	we	see	george	bush	on	television	making	his	"	this	aggression	will	not	stand	"	speech	.	the	coens	take	aim	at	just	about	every	elite	l	.	a	.	subculture	in	the	book	:	the	egotistical	wealthy	businessman	(	"	the	bums	will	always	lose	!	"	shouts	the	big	lebowski	at	one	point	)	,	the	porn	industry	,	the	overbearing	malibu	policeman	who	berates	the	dude	for	disturbing	their	"	peaceful	beach	community	,	"	and	so	on	.	by	the	end	,	we	really	start	to	admire	the	dude	,	who	almost	certainly	harbors	the	least	"	aggression	"	of	anyone	in	this	story	;	his	passive	resistance	(	emphasis	on	"	passive	,	"	albeit	)	to	the	elite	emerges	as	something	more	than	just	another	quirky	characterization	in	a	film	overflowing	with	quirky	characters	.	he	also	turns	out	to	have	a	pretty	well	functioning	brain	in	his	head	,	even	if	he	doesn't	like	to	use	it	very	much	;	his	sarcasm	towards	treehorn	and	the	malibu	policeman	shows	that	he	knows	when	he's	getting	a	run	around	,	and	he	does	manage	to	unravel	the	kidnapping	mystery	by	the	end	.	the	coens	certainly	poke	fun	at	the	dude	for	his	laziness	,	but	they	don't	just	treat	him	as	fodder	for	cheap	shots	either	.	i	think	that	,	more	than	anything	,	is	what	makes	the	big	lebowski	a	standout	comedy	:	it	manages	to	approach	characters	like	the	dude	and	,	to	some	extent	,	walter	,	with	genuine	affection	while	still	acknowledging	that	they	are	pretty	scatter	brained	.	audience	members	may	find	themselves	surprised	at	how	much	they	like	the	un	dynamic	duo	by	the	end	of	the	movie	,	given	that	they	seemed	like	nothing	more	than	the	butts	of	an	extended	joke	at	first	.	"	it's	good	knowin'	he's	out	there	,	the	dude	,	takin'	it	easy	,	"	posits	the	narrator	towards	the	end	.	i	dare	say	that	truer	words	have	seldom	been	spoken	.
pos	frothy	romantic	comedies	have	become	so	commonplace	at	the	cinema	that	filmmakers	now	generally	resort	to	gimmicks	to	set	their	films	apart	.	two	romantic	comedies	currently	in	release	,	the	object	of	my	affection	and	sliding	doors	,	each	employ	a	twist	that	gives	its	film	a	certain	uniqueness	,	but	in	both	cases	the	gimmicks	work	.	the	object	of	my	affection	roughly	fits	the	romantic	comedy	mold	.	it	has	its	share	of	humorous	moments	and	a	romantic	issue	at	its	heart	,	which	is	where	its	twist	lies	.	after	being	jilted	by	his	lover	dr	.	robert	joley	(	tim	daly	)	,	gay	elementary	school	teacher	george	hanson	(	paul	rudd	)	moves	in	and	instantly	becomes	best	friends	with	social	worker	nina	borowski	(	jennifer	aniston	)	.	when	nina	discovers	that	she	is	pregnant	by	her	less	than	reliable	boyfriend	lawyer	vince	mcbride	(	john	pankow	)	,	she	asks	george	to	be	the	child's	acting	father	.	his	acceptance	,	not	surprisingly	,	leads	to	some	emotional	complications	for	the	both	of	them	.	more	of	a	surprise	is	that	these	complications	don't	necessarily	come	dressed	in	laugh	ready	packages	.	director	nicholas	hytner	and	writer	wendy	wasserstein	,	working	from	the	novel	by	stephen	mccauley	,	while	frequently	throwing	in	a	comic	zinger	or	situation	or	two	,	deal	rather	seriously	with	the	relationship	issues	being	raised	.	while	this	approach	will	certainly	disappoint	those	looking	for	a	lark	like	aniston's	picture	perfect	,	it	was	perhaps	the	best	way	to	go	.	to	go	for	cheap	laughs	would	have	been	to	cheapen	the	characters	,	in	particular	nina	,	whose	ever	growing	but	hopeless	love	for	george	achieves	true	poignancy	.	adding	to	the	poignancy	is	the	terrific	,	natural	chemistry	between	aniston	and	rudd	;	even	though	one	knows	a	romance	is	impossible	,	they	are	such	a	perfect	screen	match	that	one	cannot	help	but	develop	a	rooting	interest	for	their	coupledom	.	i	just	wish	that	the	character	of	vince	was	better	written	.	one	minute	he's	a	jerk	,	the	next	he's	surprisingly	gentle	;	he	doesn't	quite	make	sense	,	and	as	such	,	nina's	initial	devotion	to	him	doesn't	quite	either	.	on	paper	,	the	twist	of	sliding	doors	appears	too	high	concept	for	its	own	good	.	helen	(	gwyneth	paltrow	,	sporting	the	flawless	british	accent	she	adopted	in	emma	)	,	freshly	fired	from	her	job	at	a	pr	agency	,	rushes	to	catch	the	next	train	home	.	the	doors	on	the	train	car	close	just	as	she	reaches	them	.	but	wait	the	film	rewinds	,	and	suddenly	helen	manages	to	squeeze	her	way	into	the	train	as	the	doors	close	.	from	here	on	out	,	sliding	doors	intercuts	between	the	parallel	tales	of	the	two	helens	:	helen	"	a	,	"	who	misses	the	train	,	and	helen	"	b	,	"	who	makes	the	train	.	helen	"	b	,	"	having	made	the	train	,	arrives	home	in	time	to	find	her	live	in	boyfriend	gerry	(	john	lynch	)	in	bed	with	sultry	,	slightly	unhinged	former	flame	lydia	(	jeanne	tripplehorn	)	.	in	a	tiff	,	helen	leaves	him	,	gets	a	makeover	,	and	starts	a	relationship	with	james	(	john	hannah	)	,	a	friendly	scottish	gent	she	met	on	the	train	.	helen	"	a	"	not	only	misses	the	train	;	she	is	also	mugged	,	which	makes	her	arrive	home	long	after	gerry	and	lydia's	tryst	,	of	which	she	remains	not	so	blissfully	unaware	.	in	following	the	two	helens	,	writer	director	peter	howitt	shows	how	one	simple	,	chance	occurrence	can	alter	the	course	of	a	person's	life	.	or	does	he	?	what	makes	sliding	doors	so	unique	and	rather	thought	provoking	is	how	howitt	holds	true	to	the	idea	of	chance	while	at	the	same	time	subscribing	to	that	of	destiny	.	the	two	stories	are	distinctly	different	,	but	howitt	comes	up	with	clever	"	intersections	"	between	the	plots	,	with	certain	touchstone	events	occurring	in	both	stories	(	albeit	in	slightly	altered	ways	)	,	believably	showing	how	,	no	matter	what	happens	,	the	hand	of	fate	is	inescapable	.	also	inescapable	is	the	type	of	person	one	is	,	and	this	is	best	exemplified	by	gerry	,	who	is	a	cheating	lout	in	both	stories	which	is	the	film's	one	problem	.	although	he	appears	to	have	some	genuine	fondness	for	helen	,	he	is	on	the	whole	an	unappealing	character	,	making	the	story	of	helen	"	a	"	less	vibrant	and	involving	than	the	"	b	"	tale	,	which	is	highlighted	by	hannah's	delightfully	witty	james	.	ultimately	,	however	,	the	effectiveness	of	the	object	of	my	affection	and	sliding	doors	is	not	due	to	the	gimmicks	themselves	but	the	filmmakers	who	use	them	with	care	,	intelligence	,	and	style	.	if	it	weren't	for	their	talent	and	savvy	,	the	two	films	could	have	easily	fallen	into	the	gimmicky	romantic	comedy	scrap	heap	,	an	undistinguished	group	that	includes	the	execrable	likes	of	made	in	america	and	mrs	.	winterbourne	.	and	for	that	,	every	moviegoer	in	the	world	owes	a	debt	of	gratitude	.
pos	cast	:	nicholas	cage	,	john	travolta	,	joan	allen	,	alessandro	nivola	,	gina	gershon	,	dominique	swain	directed	by	john	woo	to	tell	you	what	,	i	was	not	impressed	at	all	by	the	only	other	john	woo	film	i	have	seen	.	starring	travolta	,	broken	arrow	was	a	mediocre	action	movie	at	best	,	and	i	really	could	have	cared	less	about	anything	when	i	saw	it	.	not	ture	here	.	i	went	into	face	off	expecting	the	same	and	was	blown	away	!	!	this	is	by	far	,	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	year	.	amazing	action	sequences	,	stunts	,	explosions	,	some	hott	girls	,	and	(	is	this	the	best	thing	?	)	characterization	!	!	!	!	!	john	travolta	(	pulp	fiction	,	phenomenon	)	stars	as	sean	archer	,	leader	of	an	l	.	a	.	anti	terrorist	squad	.	he	is	still	working	to	find	and	kill	castor	troy	,	nicholas	cage	(	the	rock	,	con	air	)	.	cage	,	you	see	,	had	killed	archer's	son	several	years	back	and	his	life	hasn't	been	the	same	since	.	after	an	amazing	shoot	out	involving	aiplaones	and	hangars	,	troy	is	captured	as	is	his	brother	pullocks	(	nivola	)	.	however	everything	is	fine	from	peachy	as	castor	has	planted	a	bomb	somewhere	in	l	.	a	.	and	archer	has	no	idea	how	to	find	it	.	so	,	the	doctors	recommend	switching	faces	,	so	archer	can	be	at	jail	as	troy	to	find	out	where	the	bomb	is	.	in	a	rediculous	sequence	,	travolta	and	cage	switch	faces	.	however	cage	is	left	without	one	and	is	out	like	a	light	.	prolems	begin	when	cage	wakes	up	and	is	able	to	get	travolta's	face	on	him	,	then	he	kills	the	medical	staff	.	the	movie	really	takes	off	from	there	and	let	me	tell	you	,	cage	deserve's	an	acadamy	award	nomination	for	this	one	.	first	he	is	the	evil	cold	heated	villian	troy	,	then	he	must	win	back	our	hearts	as	archer	.	not	that	travolta	good	either	,	he	certainly	had	fun	.	joan	allen	plays	archer's	wife	who	is	confused	and	hen	scared	as	she	slowly	realizes	the	man	she's	living	with	is	not	her	husband	.	dominique	swain	is	great	as	archer's	misunderstood	daughter	.	and	gina	gershon	(	remember	showgirls	)	gives	a	good	performance	as	troy's	ex	girlfriend	,	who	tells	cage	(	as	archer	)	that	her	son	is	his	.	the	action	sequences	here	are	memorable	.	one	of	the	best	includes	gerhon's	son	listening	to	"	over	the	rainbow	"	as	a	fight	goes	on	all	around	him	.	another	includes	a	mexican	standoff	in	a	church	,	complete	with	the	doves	and	the	whole	megillah	.	the	only	prob's	i	had	with	face	off	is	that	its	about	25	minutes	too	long	,	just	when	you	think	its	over	,	there	is	another	chase	scene	involving	speed	boats	,	etc	.	this	scene	is	actually	better	then	the	entire	movie	of	speed	2	.	thats	another	stor	yall	together	though	.	face	off	runs	way	too	long	at	2	:	20	.	it	is	rated	r	for	violence	and	language	.	see	it	,	but	check	your	brain	at	the	door	.	1	2
pos	the	postman	delivers	but	not	first	class	warning	:	my	opinion	of	this	film	is	definitely	in	the	minority	of	reviewers	perhaps	because	it	hits	so	many	of	my	cinematic	buttons	:	post	apocalypse	stories	,	hope	in	a	desperate	situation	,	grassroots	uprisings	and	kevin	costner	.	even	worse	,	i	thought	that	"	waterworld	"	was	watchable	.	read	the	following	with	those	particular	grains	of	salt	.	it's	the	year	2013	and	things	have	fallen	apart	.	due	to	a	world	war	in	the	late	nineties	,	the	resulting	three	year	winter	and	a	devastating	plague	,	life	in	the	former	united	states	has	been	reduced	to	isolated	primitive	fiefdoms	.	although	this	is	the	future	,	it	looks	like	a	western	.	as	the	film	opens	,	kevin	costner	(	his	character's	name	is	never	revealed	)	is	wandering	the	utah	wastelands	with	only	his	mule	bill	for	company	.	giving	extraordinarily	bad	shakespearean	performances	in	exchange	for	food	and	lodging	,	costner	is	an	outsider	in	a	land	of	outsiders	.	running	into	even	worse	luck	,	he	is	forcibly	conscripted	into	the	racially	pure	holnist	army	of	general	bethlehem	(	will	patton	)	.	the	rag	tag	retro	futuristic	cavalry	is	the	descendent	of	militia	groups	and	is	even	called	the	"	clan	"	after	a	brutal	boot	camp	,	he	(	and	you	can	see	this	coming	a	mile	away	)	escapes	.	taking	shelter	in	a	wrecked	postal	truck	,	he	liberates	the	uniform	and	mail	bag	from	the	skeleton	in	the	cab	who	no	longer	has	a	use	for	either	.	once	he	reaches	oregon	,	land	of	beautiful	women	,	bright	youngsters	and	rock	and	roll	;	he	pretends	to	be	a	representative	from	the	"	restored	congress	of	the	united	states	of	america	"	.	this	scam	gets	him	inside	the	walled	towns	where	the	promise	of	mail	delivery	renews	optimism	in	the	hearts	of	the	inhabitants	.	food	and	other	opportunities	come	his	way	in	the	form	of	spirited	abby	(	olivia	williams	)	who	wants	him	to	father	a	child	because	her	husband	is	sterile	.	shortly	her	husband	is	killed	by	bethlehem	and	she	and	the	postman	(	as	costner	is	referred	to	for	the	rest	of	the	film	)	become	a	reluctant	item	.	although	the	postman	knows	he's	running	a	fraud	,	the	concept	of	renewed	communications	sets	the	kids'	imagination	afire	(	especially	ford	lincoln	mercury	(	larenz	tate	)	,	his	second	in	command	)	and	they	form	a	new	pony	express	dedicated	to	getting	the	mail	through	.	the	revived	postal	service	doubles	as	an	army	to	fight	the	holnists'	tyranny	.	the	postman	has	become	a	symbol	for	hope	in	a	rube	goldberg	manner	.	although	the	movie	appeals	to	my	sensibilities	,	there	are	so	many	things	wrong	with	it	that	they	can	hardly	be	counted	.	it's	derivitive	of	costner's	own	"	waterworld	"	and	clint	eastwood	westerns	.	there's	little	here	that	we	haven't	seen	dozens	of	times	before	.	the	film	is	often	down	right	corny	.	a	scene	where	the	postman	is	on	horseback	and	grabs	a	letter	from	the	hands	of	a	bright	eyed	child	is	embarrassing	in	its	slow	motion	banality	.	the	film's	final	few	minutes	should	have	been	left	on	the	cutting	room	floor	.	despite	the	film's	excessive	three	hour	length	,	several	things	are	never	explained	.	what	was	the	war	about	?	how	did	civilization	change	so	rapidly	?	everyone	has	horses	:	where	did	all	they	come	from	?	the	"	law	of	eights	"	that	bethlehem	lives	by	seems	to	have	its	origins	somewhere	beyond	the	film	,	but	where	?	are	we	to	believe	that	the	rest	of	the	world	is	in	the	same	shape	and	hasn't	made	their	way	west	to	help	or	conquer	?	there	is	some	jumbled	symbolism	here	that	doesn't	appear	to	make	sense	.	the	tale	is	obviously	saying	that	communication	can	defeat	evil	in	much	the	same	way	that	the	internet	has	the	potential	to	topple	governments	,	but	beyond	that	there	are	some	oddities	.	the	evil	army	is	called	"	holnists	"	which	sounds	coincidentally	like	the	new	age	"	holism	"	,	but	why	?	is	it	another	coincidence	that	it	takes	place	in	2013	,	just	one	year	after	many	ancient	prophesies	(	including	the	ending	of	the	mayan	calendar	)	predict	a	new	world	for	mankind	?	why	is	the	general	named	"	bethlehem	"	?	there	seems	to	be	some	reason	for	that	,	but	what	?	sometimes	the	movie	feels	like	a	joke	.	an	army	of	postal	workers	armed	with	guns	?	considering	the	headlines	of	recent	years	,	it	takes	a	tremendous	leap	of	faith	to	cheer	for	these	guys	.	it's	even	more	difficult	to	accept	those	re	powering	the	federal	government	as	the	heroes	.	given	the	current	climate	of	the	country	and	the	distrust	of	big	government	,	it's	asking	a	lot	for	the	audience	to	get	behind	the	film's	nationalism	.	even	with	its	numerous	flaws	,	the	movie	all	comes	together	,	if	only	for	those	who	have	the	same	weaknesses	that	i	have	.	it's	doubtful	that	"	the	postman	"	is	going	to	find	much	of	an	audience	,	but	a	few	of	us	are	going	to	have	a	good	time	.	besides	we're	all	awaiting	the	fall	of	civilization	caused	by	the	year	2000	millennium	computer	bug	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	22	years	and	would	like	to	announce	that	the	"	michael	redman	"	arrested	near	indianapolis	last	week	for	accepting	an	illicit	package	from	federal	express	is	,	to	the	best	of	his	knowledge	,	not	him	.	perhaps	this	similarly	named	person	should	have	used	kevin	costner's	postal	service	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	12	30	97	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	reached	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	contact	is	a	nobly	intentioned	but	ultimately	unsatisfying	adaptation	of	carl	sagan's	only	novel	.	it	details	the	circumstances	surrounding	the	first	clear	sign	of	intelligent	life	in	outer	space	and	their	effects	on	the	life	of	a	young	and	idealistic	radio	astronomer	named	ellie	arroway	(	jodie	foster	)	.	we	first	meet	ellie	at	a	giant	radio	telescope	in	puerto	rico	,	where	she	is	part	of	the	seti	(	search	for	extraterrestrial	intelligence	)	project	.	her	research	is	quickly	killed	,	however	,	by	her	highly	political	david	drumlin	(	tom	skerrit	)	,	who	disdains	"	pure	research	"	in	favor	of	science	with	"	commercial	applications	.	she	goes	in	search	of	private	funding	and	is	turned	down	at	every	step	until	she	pitches	her	project	to	a	corporation	run	by	the	mysterious	s	.	r	.	hadden	(	john	hurt	)	.	then	,	with	that	money	just	about	to	finally	dry	up	,	ellie	is	sitting	out	in	the	desert	near	the	very	large	array	in	new	mexico	when	she	hears	over	her	headphones	a	very	powerful	pulsing	radio	signal	.	in	the	movie's	most	exciting	and	believable	sequence	,	ellie	and	her	coworkers	determine	that	the	signal	has	to	be	coming	from	the	star	vega	.	at	first	the	signal	appears	to	be	just	sequences	of	prime	numbers	,	then	it	turns	out	to	be	a	tv	signal	of	the	berlin	olympics	bounced	back	to	earth	from	50	years	before	.	further	decoding	,	with	hadden's	help	,	reveals	another	layer	to	message	,	containing	detailed	plans	for	a	massive	and	complex	machine	.	it	appears	that	the	machine	is	a	transport	that	will	allow	one	person	to	travel	to	the	aliens'	home	world	.	of	course	,	the	big	question	becomes	"	who	gets	to	ride	it	?	"	(	right	after	"	who's	gonna	pay	for	this	thing	?	"	)	.	to	boil	it	down	,	ellie	gets	denied	the	seat	in	the	machine	because	she	bluntly	acknowledges	her	atheism	,	while	drumlin	gets	to	go	because	he	rather	insincerely	professes	his	deep	religious	faith	.	drumlin	is	killed	and	the	machine	destroyed	when	religious	fanatics	bomb	the	launch	platform	(	apparently	to	keep	"	godless	science	"	from	talking	to	god	,	or	something	like	that	)	.	then	hadden	reappears	with	startling	news	.	he	has	secretly	constructed	a	second	machine	off	the	coast	of	japan	and	has	reserved	the	ride	for	ellie	,	in	whom	he	has	taken	a	rather	paternal	interest	.	ellie	boards	the	machine	and	is	transported	through	some	kind	of	wormhole	to	a	dream	like	place	that	looks	a	lot	like	waikiki	beach	before	they	built	the	hotels	,	where	she	meets	the	aliens	who	take	the	form	of	her	late	father	(	david	morse	)	.	when	she	returns	home	,	no	one	believes	her	.	she	was	not	even	gone	for	one	second	,	they	say	,	even	though	she	remembers	being	gone	for	18	hours	.	her	story	is	officially	discredited	,	although	believed	by	a	large	segment	of	the	public	(	who	don't	even	have	to	know	that	her	computer	records	of	the	trip	contain	nothing	but	static	.	.	.	eighteen	hours	worth	of	static	)	.	there	is	a	lot	to	like	about	contact	so	i	will	highlight	those	points	first	.	ellie	arroway	is	a	well	rounded	character	portrayed	by	one	of	the	best	actresses	currently	working	.	neither	the	character	nor	the	performance	has	the	same	depth	as	clarice	starling	in	silence	of	the	lambs	,	but	that's	a	tough	standard	to	meet	.	ellie	is	interesting	in	that	she	is	woman	defined	by	a	strange	array	of	father	figures	.	her	real	father	is	an	idealized	movie	dad	who	does	nothing	in	the	film	but	love	his	daughter	unconditionally	.	drumlin	comes	across	as	a	distant	stepfather	to	whom	ellie	is	like	an	irritating	teenager	who	wants	to	use	his	toys	to	get	into	trouble	.	hadden	obviously	has	affection	for	ellie	,	but	in	the	end	he	seems	to	see	her	as	his	creation	,	nothing	more	than	his	favorite	piece	on	the	chess	board	.	even	palmer	joss	(	matthew	mcconaughey	)	,	ellie's	love	interest	,	takes	a	paternalistic	interest	in	ellie	,	seeing	her	as	a	misguided	person	who	needs	protection	from	her	own	impulses	.	the	film	is	technically	impressive	,	especially	in	the	scenes	where	the	message	is	first	received	and	during	the	destruction	of	the	first	machine	.	the	part	of	the	film	dealing	with	the	message	has	the	best	presentation	of	real	science	in	a	film	since	the	andromeda	strain	.	the	film	falls	apart	when	dealing	with	its	central	theme	,	the	dichotomy	between	science	and	religion	.	this	is	a	very	real	debate	but	contact	boils	it	down	to	a	simplistic	level	that	never	really	touches	on	the	actual	issues	involved	.	the	film	presents	science	pretty	well	(	until	the	end	)	so	the	real	problem	stems	from	it	presentation	of	religious	faith	.	religious	people	are	presented	as	shallow	caricatures	.	rob	lowe	plays	a	ralph	reed	clone	named	richard	rank	(	very	subtle	,	guys	)	,	the	voice	of	the	religious	right	.	another	religious	figure	is	the	fanatic	who	blows	up	the	first	machine	(	jake	busey	)	.	the	only	really	fleshed	out	religious	person	,	palmer	joss	,	is	supposed	to	be	a	minister	of	some	sort	,	but	his	actual	faith	is	left	pretty	vague	.	i	can't	even	say	for	certain	that	he	was	supposed	to	be	a	christian	.	all	we	know	is	that	he	dropped	out	of	the	seminary	and	obviously	has	no	qualms	about	pre	marital	sex	.	the	film	drops	the	science	ball	at	the	very	end	,	when	ellie	appears	to	assert	that	there	are	some	things	even	scientists	must	take	on	faith	.	in	a	day	and	age	when	the	theory	of	evolution	is	denounced	by	the	religion	right	as	an	atheist	"	religious	"	doctrine	,	this	is	exactly	the	wrong	message	to	send	.	in	a	movie	dealing	with	issues	of	science	and	faith	,	the	last	thing	you	want	your	scientist	character	to	do	is	abandon	the	principle	of	scientific	skepticism	.	what	ellie	should	have	said	was	,	"	you	shouldn't	believe	me	.	not	without	evidence	,	and	i	don't	have	the	evidence	.	i	know	what	happened	but	you	shouldn't	take	my	word	alone	.	"	that	is	the	voice	of	science	speaking	.	the	character	of	david	drumlin	is	another	problem	with	this	film	.	his	attitudes	toward	pure	research	project	seem	out	of	place	for	a	person	in	his	position	.	also	,	his	profession	of	"	faith	"	before	the	selection	committee	is	so	nakedly	and	transparently	insincere	that	only	a	pack	of	idiots	should	have	fallen	for	it	.	the	last	big	problem	is	with	the	use	of	real	personalities	in	various	roles	.	the	media	figures	,	such	as	bernard	shaw	and	jay	leno	aren't	so	bad	,	in	as	much	as	their	participation	was	voluntary	.	the	use	of	bill	clinton	,	however	,	should	give	anyone	pause	.	first	of	all	,	lifting	the	image	of	a	sitting	head	of	state	and	inserting	him	into	a	fictional	story	line	,	thus	using	his	words	outside	of	the	context	in	which	they	were	spoken	,	is	just	plain	creepy	.	also	,	using	the	real	president	places	this	film	between	1993	and	2001	,	forever	dating	it	.	people	watching	this	film	in	the	future	will	say	,	"	hey	,	this	never	took	place	during	clinton's	term	.	"	this	bit	of	unreality	will	jar	people	out	of	their	suspension	of	disbelief	.	also	,	the	level	of	technology	portrayed	in	the	film	is	too	advanced	to	take	place	before	the	first	decade	of	the	next	century	.	better	to	have	had	a	fictitious	president	played	by	an	actor	or	no	president	at	all	.	the	film	does	raise	an	interesting	question	,	although	it	never	develops	it	in	a	satisfying	way	.	if	we	were	picking	an	emissary	to	send	to	an	alien	culture	,	would	an	atheist	be	automatically	disqualified	just	because	ninety	percent	of	the	population	of	the	world	professes	a	belief	in	god	,	or	at	least	some	form	of	supernatural	creator	?	personally	,	i	would	hope	not	,	since	religion	is	basically	an	opinion	,	a	form	of	ideology	.	i	would	not	want	any	form	of	ideological	test	for	such	an	import	task	.
pos	clint	eastwood	,	in	his	ripe	old	age	,	is	cashing	one	talent	in	for	another	.	midnight	in	the	garden	of	good	and	evil	is	an	eastwood	directed	film	clint	isn't	even	in	,	and	it's	damn	good	.	adapted	from	a	best	selling	john	berendt	novel	based	on	true	events	,	this	movie	is	set	in	the	bizarre	georgia	town	of	savannah	,	where	people	walk	invisible	dogs	and	attach	horseflies	to	their	head	.	and	that's	just	the	mayor	.	as	director	and	producer	,	eastwood	contributes	a	self	indulgent	but	very	competent	150	minutes	,	neatly	balancing	drama	,	suspense	and	humor	.	like	all	great	movies	,	midnight	in	the	garden	has	a	lot	of	funny	moments	that	spring	from	the	characters	themselves	,	and	not	from	some	contrived	,	juvenile	intrusion	.	the	acting	,	from	big	time	stars	john	cusack	and	kevin	spacey	,	is	as	good	as	you'd	expect	,	but	it's	the	supporting	stable	that	gives	the	movie	its	offbeat	charm	.	cusack	plays	a	free	lance	reporter	sent	to	savannah	to	write	a	fluff	story	for	town	country	magazine	about	one	of	eccentric	millionaire	spacey's	parties	.	lots	of	food	,	beverages	and	gunplay	.	yes	,	an	employee	of	spacey's	has	a	huge	argument	in	front	of	cusack	and	later	turns	up	dead	.	it	seems	like	a	simple	matter	of	self	defense	the	guy	threatened	spacey	,	shot	at	him	,	missed	,	then	spacey	took	him	out	but	being	a	movie	,	there's	much	more	to	it	than	that	,	and	cusack	decides	to	stay	in	town	and	write	a	book	about	the	murder	,	a	book	which	will	eventually	become	a	movie	he	will	star	in	.	the	weird	circle	of	entertainment	.	this	is	where	the	stable	of	supporting	characters	comes	in	.	there's	the	requisite	sexy	woman	(	alison	"	nepotist's	daughter	"	eastwood	)	,	the	strange	piano	player	,	the	voodoo	woman	and	the	transvestite	.	miss	chablis	deserves	a	paragraph	of	his	her	own	,	as	the	stealer	of	every	scene	she	appears	in	what	would	this	movie	be	without	the	castilian	scene	and	her	testimony	?	chablis	,	playing	herself	,	is	five	times	funnier	than	reigning	drag	queen	rupaul	,	but	never	seems	exploited	as	the	movie's	comic	relief	or	out	of	place	in	a	basically	serious	movie	.	there	are	also	a	fair	share	of	courtroom	scenes	,	which	these	days	almost	never	seem	welcome	in	a	movie	,	but	even	here	clint	manages	to	keep	the	movie	fascinating	.	certainly	the	characterizations	of	the	judge	and	spacey's	lawyer	both	help	immensely	,	as	does	having	the	fly	guy	as	the	jury's	foreman	.	it's	here	we	realize	the	case	boils	down	to	an	indictment	of	spacey's	homosexuality	.	yes	,	spacey	had	a	sexual	relationship	with	the	dead	man	before	he	shot	him	,	of	course	.	midnight	in	the	garden	of	good	and	evil	isn't	a	classic	,	but	it	is	one	of	the	better	celebrity	directed	,	true	story	best	seller	adaptations	out	there	.	likewise	,	no	one	from	this	movie	will	be	getting	any	oscar	nominations	,	but	the	performances	are	all	great	.	in	fact	,	i'd	almost	recommend	that	the	academy	add	a	best	supporting	transvestite	category	.
pos	sick	:	the	life	and	death	of	bob	flanagan	,	supermasochist	starring	bob	flanagan	and	sheree	rose	.	interviews	by	kathe	burkhart	,	kirby	dick	and	rita	valencia	.	produced	and	directed	by	kirby	dick	.	running	time	:	90	mins	.	this	film	is	not	rated	.	__________________________________________________________	the	central	themes	of	"	sick	:	the	life	and	death	of	bob	flanagan	,	supermasochist	"	are	pain	and	love	,	and	its	subsequent	effect	on	a	person's	life	.	its	protagonist	,	bob	flanagan	,	who	died	at	the	age	of	52	,	suffered	from	cystic	fibrosis	,	a	mortal	disease	which	debilitates	the	lungs	by	saturating	them	with	thick	coats	of	mucus	,	preventing	him	from	normal	breathing	.	the	movie	is	about	much	more	than	recouperating	(	or	attempting	to	)	from	this	disease	.	an	audacious	,	fabulously	triumphant	docudrama	,	"	sick	"	chronicles	the	life	of	flanagan	and	his	vicious	,	unthinkable	acts	of	sadomasochism	conducted	with	his	mistress	of	15	years	,	sheree	rose	,	who	amazingly	provided	much	of	the	footage	for	the	film	.	flanagan's	idelogy	crosses	the	realms	of	rebelliousness	and	becomes	transcendental	,	similar	to	terry	zwigoff's	brilliant	1994	"	crumb	"	,	which	also	explored	the	dysfunction	of	an	artist	by	painting	not	a	sympathetic	portrait	,	but	a	realistic	one	.	both	crumb	and	flanagan	revelled	in	their	defects	.	but	flanagan	was	not	only	a	man	content	on	enduring	the	pain	via	lungs	,	he	inflicted	acts	of	pain	on	himself	at	a	very	young	age	,	courageously	defying	god	(	he	was	an	irish	catholic	)	and	turning	his	body	into	a	work	of	art	,	which	he	unraveled	in	museums	and	lectures	.	behold	these	works	of	physical	art	.	among	them	is	a	metal	ball	inserted	inside	his	anus	,	and	,	the	most	disturbing	scene	of	the	decade	,	nailing	his	penis	to	a	board	.	flanagan	was	a	man	of	great	intelligence	,	wit	and	humor	,	as	well	as	adopting	a	sense	of	candidness	scarcely	seen	in	modern	filmmaking	.	not	only	did	he	approach	his	disease	with	humor	,	peforming	burlesque	acts	in	front	of	an	audience	,	he	was	also	revitalized	by	his	approachment	.	most	with	cystic	fibrosis	do	not	make	it	past	their	earlier	twenties	(	there's	also	a	subplot	involving	a	female	devotee	who	knew	death	was	awaiting	her	.	)	but	the	most	outstanding	thing	about	"	sick	"	is	flanagan's	relationship	with	sheree	.	brimming	with	honesty	,	sensual	stimulation	and	unapologetically	sad	moments	of	pain	,	their	powerful	bond	lifts	"	sick	"	into	a	rare	cinematic	high	,	where	we	forget	we	are	in	an	auditorium	and	become	a	part	of	these	people	.	the	last	scene	,	where	we	see	the	hero	murmuring	the	last	words	to	his	wife	in	a	hospital	bed	,	as	he	struggles	for	his	last	moments	of	life	,	is	raw	,	tender	,	hideous	.	it	goes	a	step	beyond	cinematic	intimacy	.
pos	capsule	:	violent	and	bizarrely	entertaining	anime	,	part	21	jump	street	and	part	russ	meyer	,	that	somehow	works	despite	its	limitations	.	sukeban	:	n	.	,	jap	.	,	"	bad	girl	"	.	deka	:	n	.	,	jap	.	,	slang	for	policeman	,	"	cop	"	;	possible	corruption	contraction	of	english	"	detective	"	.	i	tried	to	imagine	sukeban	deka	as	live	action	,	and	somehow	i	wound	up	with	the	blueprint	for	a	russ	meyer	movie	,	meyer	,	king	of	american	sixties	exploitation	cinema	,	would	probably	have	loved	to	direct	a	picture	about	a	teenage	ex	con	who	beats	up	juvenile	delinquents	and	assorted	upper	tax	bracket	scumbags	with	a	yo	yo	.	i	am	not	leaving	out	very	much	here	.	and	yet	i	watched	sukeban	deka	with	a	crooked	smile	;	it's	a	perversely	entertaining	movie	that	,	if	it	had	been	live	action	,	might	not	even	have	worked	.	the	plot	:	saki	asamiya	is	a	juvenile	convict	who	is	given	a	shot	at	freedom	by	the	police	.	theyt	want	to	infiltrate	a	private	high	school	overrun	with	crime	,	and	she	makes	a	good	mole	:	fast	with	her	fists	and	good	looking	.	saki	eventually	takes	the	assignment	,	but	only	under	duress	,	and	every	scene	she's	in	has	her	under	pressure	from	one	direction	or	another	.	aside	from	the	yo	yo	(	they	can't	give	her	a	gun	)	,	she	has	a	sidekick	of	sorts	a	dippy	fellow	named	sanpei	who	latches	onto	her	like	a	barnacle	,	and	has	his	head	shaved	to	prove	his	devotion	to	her	.	(	this	leads	us	to	one	of	the	best	lines	in	the	picture	:	"	if	you	don't	stop	hanging	off	me	like	crap	out	of	a	carp's	butt	,	i'll	beat	you	senseless	!	"	sanpei	,	however	,	takes	this	as	an	invitation	to	s	m	,	and	is	even	more	turned	on	.	)	movies	like	this	either	work	or	they	don't	,	and	most	of	the	reason	they	work	is	style	.	sukeban	deka	has	its	over	the	top	ness	right	about	80	of	the	time	.	one	of	the	evil	girls	in	the	story	wears	cammo	fatigues	underneath	her	negligee	;	another	dresses	like	a	walking	bondage	outfitter's	ad	and	hides	snakes	in	her	cleavage	.	(	the	fetish	for	snakes	bleeds	over	into	the	intercollary	images	that	flash	up	between	scenes	:	when	someone	gets	double	crossed	,	we	see	flash	shots	of	one	snake	sinking	its	fangs	into	the	other	.	)	one	fight	is	punctuated	with	a	passing	train	,	which	conveniently	hides	all	the	screams	.	but	there	are	parts	of	the	story	where	the	plot	is	just	stretched	too	thin	,	and	could	have	used	some	extra	writing	maybe	even	some	over	writing	.	there's	a	whole	brainwashing	subplot	that	surfaces	about	two	thirds	of	the	way	through	,	which	feels	suspiciously	plastered	on	,	as	if	the	scriptwriters	were	desperate	for	something	to	spin	things	in	a	new	direction	.	also	,	saki's	enemies	three	sisters	who	control	the	school's	illegal	activities	are	also	patchy	:	the	most	villanous	of	the	bunch	is	not	really	the	most	memorable	,	and	vice	versa	.	a	little	more	work	in	this	department	,	and	they	would	really	have	had	something	here	.	as	it	stands	,	it's	not	bad	at	all	,	just	limited	and	inconsistent	.	footnote	:	part	of	the	reason	for	the	patchiness	of	the	story	may	be	its	source	material	.	sukeban	deka	was	adapted	from	a	manga	which	ran	for	eight	years	and	twelve	volumes	,	and	the	movie	borrows	its	story	from	the	first	and	part	of	the	second	volumes	.	shinji	wada	,	the	original	writer	and	artist	,	had	a	hand	in	the	production	and	the	script	,	but	there's	still	been	a	great	deal	of	condensation	and	collapsing	.	i	went	back	and	read	the	entire	series	myself	the	scope	of	the	whole	story	is	staggering	,	to	put	it	mildly	and	can	see	why	they	might	have	had	trouble	packing	even	the	first	story	into	a	two	hour	movie	.
pos	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critic's	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	the	easiest	noun	to	use	in	describing	'mercury	rising'	would	be	"	routine	"	.	it's	a	simple	description	but	it	fits	.	i	have	to	say	up	front	that	the	movie	is	mildly	entertaining	on	a	trashy	sort	of	level	in	the	sense	that	it's	best	not	to	think	about	it	too	much	after	you	leave	the	theatre	.	you	can't	fault	movie	critics	too	much	for	repeating	themselves	because	it's	only	due	to	the	fact	that	films	keep	repeating	themselves	and	critics	comment	on	what	they	see	.	it's	sort	of	like	a	quarterback	who	sticks	with	the	plays	that	work	.	if	it's	a	winning	formula	,	stick	with	it	and	as	long	as	people	keep	dishing	out	enough	money	to	see	action	stars	in	their	repetitive	vehicles	,	hollywood	will	keep	making	them	.	the	problem	with	bruce	willis	is	that	he	fails	to	connect	in	finding	a	different	personality	for	each	character	he	plays	.	clint	eastwood	made	dirty	harry	different	from	josey	wales	and	his	gunslinger	in	'unforgiven'	was	quite	different	from	the	drill	sergeant	he	played	in	'heartbreak	ridge'	.	all	the	recent	characters	that	bruce	willis	has	played	have	looked	and	felt	the	same	.	1997's	'the	fifth	element'	was	like	watching	john	mcclane	(	willis'	character	in	the	'die	hard'	trilogy	)	wake	up	after	being	in	a	chamber	of	cryogenic	technology	for	three	hundred	years	,	thawed	out	to	strut	his	stuff	with	futuristic	bad	guys	and	it	failed	with	most	critics	except	those	radical	science	fiction	fans	who	refuse	to	knock	even	the	worst	of	that	genre	.	i	really	haven't	seen	willis	in	a	top	notch	role	since	his	1994	attempt	at	serious	stuff	such	as	'pulp	fiction'	and	'nobody's	fool'	.	i	wish	he'd	go	back	to	the	stuff	he	has	the	potential	with	and	earn	a	respectable	name	for	himself	but	he's	becoming	a	stereotyped	performer	like	sylvester	stallone	and	wesley	snipes	.	the	plot	line	in	'mercury	rising'	concerns	a	nine	year	old	autistic	boy	who	has	cracked	a	secret	government	code	which	will	be	used	to	protect	the	covert	operations	of	secret	u	.	s	.	agents	all	over	the	world	.	he	got	the	code	from	a	puzzle	book	and	it	just	so	happens	that	two	government	computer	programmers	put	the	code	in	the	book	on	purpose	,	testing	its	reliability	,	knowing	(	or	at	least	counting	on	the	fact	)	that	no	one	will	be	able	to	crack	it	but	not	understanding	that	the	human	brain	will	always	remain	a	mystery	.	their	boss	,	an	evil	government	stooge	(	alec	baldwin	)	,	is	outraged	that	his	employees	would	pull	such	a	stunt	and	baldwin	takes	steps	to	eliminate	all	traces	of	the	boy's	involvement	with	the	code	and	the	government	office	that	created	it	.	this	includes	killing	the	boy's	parents	and	willis	plays	a	demoted	fbi	agent	who	investigates	the	murder	of	the	boy's	parents	and	eventually	ends	up	the	boy's	protector	when	things	get	more	and	more	dangerous	.	director	harold	becker	(	'the	onion	field'	,	'taps'	,	'sea	of	love'	,	'malice'	)	has	used	his	typical	style	of	stretching	a	story	out	to	be	much	more	than	it	really	is	,	spreading	the	plot	too	thin	in	an	attempt	to	cover	up	plot	holes	and	while	it	hasn't	worked	for	him	in	the	past	,	it	doesn't	work	here	.	based	on	the	novel	'simple	simon'	by	ryne	douglas	pearson	and	written	by	lawrence	konner	,	ryne	douglas	pearson	and	mark	rosenthal	,	'mercury	rising'	isn't	a	film	i	can	recommend	for	its	originality	,	but	it	has	some	decent	action	sequences	as	the	film	is	evenly	paced	and	it	is	touching	in	a	certain	way	as	willis	plays	the	responsible	role	of	the	boy's	protector	and	while	that	may	be	no	big	deal	to	cynics	,	the	film	has	a	style	with	an	average	intention	to	please	audiences	and	because	of	that	it	does	have	some	merit	.
pos	following	the	release	of	his	highly	controversial	the	cook	,	the	thief	,	his	wife	her	lover	this	time	last	year	,	the	roxy	screening	rooms	in	philadelphia	presented	a	retrospective	of	films	by	eclectic	british	film	director	peter	greenaway	.	included	in	that	retrospective	were	the	art	house	hit	the	draughtsman's	contract	,	the	film	which	put	greenaway	on	the	map	in	this	country	,	and	two	philadelphia	premieres	a	zed	and	two	noughts	(	which	prior	to	that	time	had	only	seen	a	limited	run	on	the	bravo	cable	channel	)	and	the	belly	of	an	architect	.	conspicuous	by	its	absence	was	greenaway's	1988	movie	,	drowning	by	numbers	,	a	film	which	is	only	now	making	its	much	belated	philadelphia	debut	.	this	city	,	it	seems	,	has	saved	the	best	until	last	.	drowning	by	numbers	is	another	visually	striking	essay	by	britain's	master	of	the	cinematic	put	on	.	brimming	with	absurdist	wordplay	and	an	exacting	eye	for	detail	,	it's	a	very	tall	tale	of	murder	,	mathematics	,	and	misdirected	love	.	from	the	opening	scene	,	you	know	you	are	not	watching	any	ordinary	film	,	or	dealing	with	any	ordinary	filmmaker	.	a	young	girl	,	bedecked	in	an	outrageous	,	fairy	godmother	like	party	dress	,	jumps	rope	whilst	reciting	the	names	of	the	stars	in	the	constellation	.	the	lighting	casts	giant	shadows	on	the	building	behind	her	,	an	imposing	regency	edifice	fronted	by	pom	pom	shaped	trees	.	a	dead	bird	hangs	from	a	pole	in	the	foreground	.	it's	like	something	out	of	lewis	carroll	.	three	generations	of	women	,	each	named	cissie	,	drown	their	husbands	out	of	passionate	detachment	.	they	are	played	by	joan	plowright	,	juliet	stevenson	(	who	can	currently	be	seen	in	truly	,	madly	,	deeply	)	and	joely	richardson	.	this	maternal	camaraderie	is	incisively	drawn	,	a	refreshing	change	after	the	misogynistic	flourishes	of	a	zed	and	two	noughts	.	a	willing	ally	to	their	sanctimonious	crimes	is	a	local	coroner	named	madgett	(	bernard	hill	)	.	madgett	,	along	with	his	son	,	smut	(	newcomer	jason	edwards	)	,	is	an	obsessive	game	player	,	much	like	greenaway	himself	.	in	love	with	all	three	women	,	madgett	pronounces	each	death	an	accident	.	but	greenaway	appears	to	be	less	concerned	with	plot	than	he	is	with	color	and	composition	.	the	writer	director	uses	madgett's	indulgent	preoccupations	with	contests	and	counting	as	an	excuse	to	exercise	his	own	exuberant	imagination	,	layering	on	the	details	like	oils	on	a	canvas	.	in	fact	,	many	of	the	sequences	in	drowning	by	numbers	the	scenes	with	the	apples	,	the	white	beach	house	against	a	blackening	sky	,	the	angular	symmetry	of	the	swimming	pool	are	shot	with	a	painter's	eye	for	beauty	,	like	a	constable	landscape	or	a	ruebens'	nude	.	the	numbers	1	to	100	run	throughout	the	film	like	a	chronometer	,	marking	time	.	they	start	out	obvious	enough	pinned	to	trees	and	tin	baths	,	painted	on	buildings	,	cows	and	passers	by	but	wind	up	being	woven	into	the	overall	fabric	.	it's	a	rich	and	colorful	tapestry	,	a	sumptuously	crafted	and	richly	textured	experience	that	is	at	once	wicked	,	wry	and	thoroughly	entertaining	.	if	drowning	by	numbers	is	"	about	"	anything	,	then	it	is	about	the	way	in	which	women	conspire	together	,	choking	the	life	out	of	those	who	have	disappointed	them	sexually	,	emotionally	or	otherwise	.	a	darling	of	the	british	film	institute	,	peter	greenaway	made	his	mark	in	the	late	'60s	early	'70s	with	a	string	of	independently	produced	short	films	.	his	big	break	came	in	1982	with	the	bfi	funded	the	draughtsman's	contract	,	an	erotically	charged	murder	mystery	set	in	17th	century	england	.	but	it	wasn't	until	the	release	of	last	year's	the	cook	,	the	thief	,	his	wife	her	lover	that	american	audiences	were	once	again	treated	to	the	cinematic	excesses	of	this	extraordinary	talent	.	in	keeping	with	the	film's	mood	,	michael	nyman's	score	is	somber	and	atypically	melancholic	,	not	the	sawing	strings	that	have	punctuated	his	other	collaborations	with	the	director	.	and	sacha	vierny's	photography	is	no	less	exquisite	than	the	picture	postcard	perfect	views	of	rome	and	its	surrounding	countryside	that	graced	the	belly	of	an	architect	.	the	themes	which	populate	most	of	greenaway's	films	sex	,	death	and	decay	,	puns	and	punning	,	religion	,	numerology	,	entomology	and	ornithology	are	also	very	much	in	evidence	here	.	in	drowning	by	numbers	,	greenaway's	most	accessible	film	to	date	,	these	collective	themes	add	together	to	form	a	bizarre	jigsaw	puzzle	with	few	straight	edges	,	a	delineated	,	looking	glass	world	in	which	numbers	count	for	everything	and	love	is	often	left	dead	in	the	water	.	hr	directed	by	:	peter	greenaway	david	n	.	butterworth	university	of	pa	rating	:	1	2	internet	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	"	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	a	hr
pos	after	a	stylistic	detour	with	mrs	.	parker	and	the	vicious	circle	(	which	,	despite	its	uncomfortable	tone	,	was	close	to	being	a	conventional	movie	)	,	director	alan	rudolph	has	returned	to	his	unique	brand	of	film	making	with	afterglow	,	a	romantic	black	comedy	about	love	,	betrayal	,	and	self	absorption	.	while	these	may	not	be	the	most	unusual	themes	to	fashion	into	a	motion	picture	,	rudolph's	atypical	approach	to	the	characters	and	their	situations	makes	for	an	intriguing	,	if	not	always	pleasant	,	movie	.	it	is	said	that	rudolph	is	a	polarizing	director	meaning	that	most	viewers	either	love	his	work	or	hate	it	.	until	mrs	.	parker	,	i	had	not	been	overly	impressed	by	his	movies	.	i	found	equinox	,	his	last	pre	mrs	.	parker	effort	,	to	be	irritating	and	frustrating	.	i	was	somewhat	surprised	,	therefore	,	to	discover	that	i	liked	afterglow	.	there	are	several	reasons	for	this	,	but	the	paramount	one	is	that	rudolph	seems	to	have	muted	some	of	the	most	strident	,	mannered	aspects	of	his	approach	.	the	characters	here	are	more	like	real	people	with	genuine	problems	,	the	story	is	absorbing	,	and	the	acting	is	top	notch	.	in	short	,	rudolph	has	created	a	world	that	it's	worth	spending	two	hours	in	.	afterglow	introduces	us	to	two	unhappily	married	couples	.	jeffrey	byron	(	jonny	lee	miller	)	is	a	cold	,	seemingly	heartless	businessman	who	is	sexually	indifferent	to	his	young	wife	,	marianne	(	lara	flynn	boyle	)	.	for	her	part	,	marianne	is	so	obsessed	with	having	a	baby	that	she	never	attempts	to	interact	with	her	husband	on	a	human	level	.	all	she's	interested	in	is	seducing	him	during	those	few	days	when	she's	ovulating	.	after	he	refuses	to	make	love	,	she	decides	to	find	someone	else	to	play	the	role	of	sperm	donor	.	the	other	couple	,	lucky	(	nick	nolte	)	and	phyllis	mann	(	julie	christie	)	,	are	an	older	pair	,	but	they're	no	more	content	than	jeffrey	and	marianne	.	a	mysterious	fracture	in	their	past	relationship	has	driven	them	apart	.	they	remain	married	as	a	matter	of	convenience	,	but	,	since	phyllis	won't	allow	lucky	to	touch	her	,	they	have	an	unspoken	agreement	whereby	he	can	fool	around	as	much	as	he	wants	provided	that	no	lasting	bond	is	established	as	a	result	of	these	affairs	.	the	landscape	of	emotional	pain	between	them	is	palpable	.	the	four	characters	begin	interacting	when	marianne	hires	lucky	as	a	handyman	to	fix	up	the	inside	of	the	apartment	she	shares	with	jeffrey	.	the	two	of	them	are	immediately	attracted	to	one	another	,	and	it	doesn't	take	long	before	they're	lounging	together	,	naked	,	in	her	pool	.	meanwhile	,	jeffrey	,	who	is	captivated	by	older	women	,	runs	into	phyllis	in	a	hotel	bar	,	is	smitten	,	and	invites	her	to	accompany	him	on	a	weekend	retreat	to	the	mountains	.	the	romantic	couplings	of	the	characters	are	interesting	in	that	they	illustrate	the	multiple	faces	of	love	.	sex	means	something	different	to	everyone	to	jeffrey	,	it's	an	unpleasant	chore	,	a	loss	of	control	;	to	marianne	,	it's	a	means	to	a	maternal	end	;	to	lucky	,	it's	an	enjoyable	distraction	that	blocks	out	his	marital	troubles	;	and	to	phyllis	,	it's	a	method	of	establishing	or	denying	emotional	closeness	.	ultimately	,	none	of	these	characters	appears	to	love	anyone	else	as	much	as	they	love	themselves	.	the	greatest	strength	of	the	film	lies	not	in	the	script	,	but	in	the	performances	.	jonny	lee	miller	is	perfect	as	the	selfish	,	callous	,	suit	and	tie	businessman	.	those	who	recall	him	as	sickboy	in	trainspotting	will	find	that	he	is	almost	unrecognizable	here	as	the	image	of	conformity	.	lara	flynn	boyle	,	who	wasn't	impressive	in	rudolph's	equinox	,	is	greatly	improved	,	making	marianne	a	jumble	of	sexiness	and	vulnerability	.	nick	nolte	is	delightful	as	the	uninhibited	lucky	,	and	he	manages	to	deliver	some	of	rudolph's	most	pregnant	lines	with	practiced	ease	.	the	clear	standout	,	however	,	is	julie	christie	,	who	is	nothing	short	of	delicious	as	the	world	weary	phyllis	.	her	often	wry	,	occasionally	cutting	asides	are	the	source	of	much	of	the	film's	humor	,	and	there's	hardly	ever	a	moment	when	she	doesn't	steal	the	spotlight	from	her	co	stars	.	i	don't	know	if	afterglow	is	the	film	to	convert	rudolph	detractors	,	but	it	seems	that	this	movie	is	a	little	more	accessible	than	some	of	the	director's	earlier	productions	.	enough	of	his	trademark	style	remains	,	however	,	to	reassure	his	supporters	.	afterglow	is	basically	a	four	pronged	character	study	.	the	plot	is	not	especially	compelling	,	but	the	character	interaction	is	,	and	that's	the	real	reason	to	see	this	motion	picture	.	rudolph	has	painted	an	able	picture	of	the	non	romantic	side	of	love	the	one	that	has	more	to	do	with	tolerance	and	familiarity	than	with	affection	and	attraction	.
pos	starring	:	tom	hanks	,	tom	sizemore	,	edward	burns	,	jeremy	davies	,	vin	diesel	,	adam	goldberg	as	the	small	boats	rock	slowly	toward	the	shore	at	omaha	beach	normandy	on	d	day	,	the	weary	,	seasick	soldiers	take	a	deep	breath	and	open	the	large	protective	shield	at	the	back	of	the	boat	.	they	are	unaware	of	exactly	what	is	going	to	happen	.	one	man	kisses	the	crucifix	that	hangs	around	his	neck	.	as	the	flap	falls	,	the	battle	begins	.	they	are	trapped	like	rats	in	a	cage	and	proceed	to	be	blown	to	pieces	in	the	wake	of	enemy	gunfire	.	amid	the	chaos	of	this	massacre	,	stands	a	shot	that	,	at	least	for	me	,	hangs	in	the	air	like	the	girl	in	the	little	red	coat	in	schindler's	list	.	a	soldier	,	clearly	missing	an	arm	,	wanders	around	the	body	strewn	beach	like	a	lost	puppy	.	we	are	not	invited	to	know	what	he	is	searching	for	until	he	finds	it	himself	.	he	bends	over	,	picks	up	his	arm	and	starts	to	carry	it	,	probably	not	bothering	to	ask	himself	;	"	what	now	?	"	saving	private	ryan	is	a	masterfully	composed	film	.	the	direction	is	out	of	this	world	,	surely	the	type	of	command	that	can	win	spielberg	another	directing	oscar	.	the	cinematography	,	by	janusz	kaminsky	,	is	also	astounding	.	but	be	forewarned	,	this	is	the	most	violent	and	graphic	film	i	have	ever	seen	.	the	articles	you	read	and	the	warnings	you	see	are	justified	;	saving	private	ryan	is	visually	as	disturbing	as	a	film	can	get	.	the	question	is	,	"	does	the	story	and	its	realism	justify	the	excessive	use	?	"	the	answer	from	my	point	of	view	is	"	no	"	.	braveheart	was	a	truly	gritty	,	and	,	one	would	imagine	,	realistic	battle	film	.	ryan	is	ten	times	worse	.	expect	disembowelments	,	sucked	in	skulls	,	heads	blown	to	bits	,	arms	and	legs	flying	across	the	battlefield	.	many	in	the	theater	could	not	bear	to	watch	.	and	it	is	a	shame	,	too	,	because	this	is	otherwise	by	far	one	of	the	standouts	this	year	.	but	such	graphic	displays	may	turn	away	even	the	most	loyal	spielberg	supporters	(	and	academy	members	)	.	saving	private	ryan	takes	us	from	the	attack	at	omaha	beach	on	d	day	,	1944	,	through	into	the	film's	primary	mission	.	captain	miller	(	hanks	)	assembles	an	8	man	crew	and	sets	off	to	find	a	missing	solider	,	private	ryan	,	whose	three	brothers	have	already	been	killed	on	the	battlefield	.	the	government	goes	to	great	lengths	to	make	sure	that	mrs	.	ryan	doesn't	recieve	a	fourth	letter	of	condolences	about	her	sons	,	that	no	person	should	suffer	such	injustice	.	miller's	crew	is	not	in	favor	of	the	mission	and	they	begin	to	harbor	a	secret	hatred	for	ryan	,	though	they	don't	yet	know	him	.	they	resent	having	to	trudge	out	to	bring	home	one	soldier	who	doesn't	have	any	more	or	less	right	to	live	than	any	of	them	.	this	film	manages	to	keep	up	a	rapid	pace	and	,	though	there	is	a	lot	of	set	up	between	battles	,	the	story	continues	full	speed	to	the	end	.	the	pacing	and	dramatism	of	the	extremely	well	choreographed	battle	scenes	is	really	in	a	league	of	it's	own	.	spielberg	,	though	not	a	student	of	the	"	quick	cut	"	school	of	filmmaking	,	takes	a	stab	at	it	here	,	and	does	it	better	than	michael	bay	or	any	of	his	mtv	counterparts	could	ever	hope	to	do	it	.	bay	should	pay	close	attention	,	take	copious	notes	.	if	you	want	to	jump	cut	every	two	seconds	,	do	it	the	way	spielberg	does	it	in	ryan	.	in	the	end	,	the	extremity	of	the	gory	violence	is	not	justified	by	the	"	importance	"	of	the	film	.	schindler's	list	taught	many	people	the	truth	about	the	holocaust	.	it	opened	eyes	,	sparked	debate	and	study	.	though	the	battle	scenes	in	ryan	have	never	been	portrayed	as	realistically	before	,	they	don't	amount	to	anything	as	serious	or	thought	provoking	as	the	schindler's	list	.	overall	,	this	is	just	the	truest	depiction	of	the	old	adage	,	"	war	is	hell	.	"	but	braveheart	dosage	would	have	fit	this	movie	much	more	appropriately	,	and	would	have	made	the	difference	between	me	getting	up	the	nerve	to	see	it	again	some	day	and	realizing	that	this	is	something	i	doubt	i	could	endure	again	.	masterful	work	marred	only	by	excessive	gore	.
pos	director	:	john	sayles	screenplay	:	john	sayles	stars	:	federico	luppi	(	dr	.	fuentes	)	,	damin	delgado	(	domingo	,	the	soldier	)	,	dan	rivera	gonzlez	(	conejo	,	the	boy	)	,	tania	cruz	(	graciela	,	the	mute	girl	)	,	damin	alczar	(	padre	portillo	,	the	priest	)	,	mandy	patinkin	(	andrew	)	,	kathryn	grody	(	harriet	)	,	iguandili	lpez	(	mother	)	,	nandi	luna	ramrez	(	daughter	)	,	rafael	de	quevedo	(	general	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	john	sayles'	"	men	with	guns	"	is	about	what	happens	to	a	society	when	brute	force	and	constant	threat	of	violence	are	the	only	means	of	gaining	and	maintaining	power	.	the	film	takes	place	in	an	unnamed	central	american	country	,	where	the	men	with	guns	are	the	rulers	.	most	of	the	country	is	divided	into	tiny	segments	some	are	controlled	by	guerrillas	with	guns	,	some	are	controlled	by	army	soldiers	with	guns	,	and	all	the	spaces	in	between	are	controlled	by	thieves	,	bandits	,	and	terrorists	.	all	people	not	fitting	one	of	those	descriptions	are	defined	only	by	their	powerlessness	.	however	,	like	so	many	central	american	countries	,	this	one	also	features	modernity	.	there	is	an	unnamed	capital	city	that	bears	all	the	hallmarks	of	contemporary	civilization	:	skyscrapers	,	hospitals	,	televisions	,	highways	,	etc	.	but	,	it	might	as	well	be	in	another	country	because	those	who	live	in	the	comforts	of	the	city	have	either	decided	to	ignore	the	violence	ravaging	the	rest	of	the	land	,	or	else	they	are	simply	ignorant	of	it	.	the	film's	main	character	,	dr	.	fuentes	(	federico	luppi	)	falls	into	the	latter	category	.	one	of	his	patients	,	an	army	general	,	describes	him	as	the	most	educated	man	he	has	ever	met	,	and	also	the	most	naive	.	fuentes	is	a	true	liberal	,	a	caring	man	who	thinks	he	can	cure	the	ills	of	his	country	by	fighting	bacteria	and	ignorance	among	the	indigenous	indians	.	with	government	assistance	,	he	has	trained	a	large	group	of	eager	young	medical	students	and	sent	them	into	the	rainforest	to	cure	and	educate	.	this	program	was	to	be	his	legacy	,	and	he	repeats	over	and	over	that	it	was	a	good	idea	.	however	,	when	he	ventures	into	that	same	rainforest	to	visit	his	protgs	,	he	finds	that	things	have	not	turned	out	as	he	has	envisioned	.	as	he	travels	deeper	into	the	forest	,	going	from	village	to	village	,	the	story	is	always	the	same	:	the	doctors	were	all	killed	by	either	the	guerrillas	or	the	army	soldiers	,	usually	for	helping	the	other	.	when	dr	.	fuentes	asks	a	village	woman	why	the	army	killed	one	of	the	doctors	,	she	replies	simply	,	"	because	they	had	guns	,	and	we	didn't	.	"	rational	science	and	all	its	attempts	to	cure	have	been	wiped	out	by	the	men	with	guns	,	because	others'	sickness	and	ignorance	helps	them	maintain	power	.	dr	.	fuentes	picks	up	several	companions	during	his	journey	,	all	of	whom	are	characterized	by	their	loss	.	first	,	there	is	a	young	boy	named	conejo	(	dan	rivera	gonzlez	)	,	who	has	neither	a	mother	nor	a	father	.	next	,	fuentes	crosses	paths	with	a	thief	named	domingo	(	damin	delgado	)	,	who	deserted	the	army	because	he	was	tired	of	being	jeered	into	committing	murderous	atrocities	.	through	his	ordeal	in	the	army	,	domingo	has	lost	most	of	his	self	respect	,	and	defines	himself	only	by	his	pistol	.	along	the	way	,	the	group	also	picks	up	padre	portillo	(	damin	alczar	)	,	a	priest	who	has	lost	his	faith	.	as	domingo	is	running	from	the	army	,	so	is	portillo	he	has	been	labeled	a	guerrilla	sympathizer	,	and	ran	away	from	the	village	in	which	he	was	preaching	.	last	,	the	group	takes	on	a	mute	girl	named	graciela	(	tania	cruz	)	,	who	hasn't	spoken	since	she	was	raped	two	years	earlier	,	her	innocence	and	even	her	will	to	live	forcefully	taken	from	her	.	sayles	two	major	strengths	as	a	director	characters	and	setting	are	abundantly	evident	in	"	men	with	guns	.	"	(	like	many	of	his	films	,	sayles	might	have	tightened	this	one	somewhat	in	the	editing	room	,	but	a	longer	than	necessary	running	time	is	a	sin	almost	always	committed	when	the	director	is	also	the	editor	.	)	he	creates	fascinating	,	complex	characters	,	especially	dr	.	fuentes	and	domingo	.	their	uneasy	relationship	is	also	somewhat	humorous	in	context	of	the	film's	overarching	theme	of	violence	as	power	domingo's	attempts	to	control	fuentes	with	his	revolver	are	constantly	undermined	by	fuentes'	belief	that	the	revolver	is	unloaded	(	at	first	it	is	,	but	later	is	isn't	)	.	the	setting	is	also	as	thick	with	detail	as	the	rainforest	itself	.	sayles	knows	how	to	bring	a	location	to	life	,	whether	it	be	an	early	twentieth	century	coal	mining	town	in	"	matewan	"	(	1987	)	or	a	contemporary	texas	mexico	bordertown	in	"	lone	star	"	(	1996	)	.	sayles	is	not	a	particularly	inventive	director	he	likes	to	let	his	actors	do	most	of	the	work	but	he	and	cinematographer	slavomir	idziak	(	"	gattaca	"	)	successfully	evoke	both	the	beauty	and	the	danger	of	the	central	american	terrain	.	sayles	also	maintains	a	strong	sense	of	authenticity	by	filming	everything	on	location	in	mexico	,	using	all	latin	american	actors	,	and	having	all	the	dialogue	spoken	in	either	spanish	or	native	indian	dialects	.	the	one	exception	is	a	couple	of	bumbling	american	tourists	who	work	not	only	as	comic	relief	,	but	as	evidence	of	just	how	clueless	the	united	states	is	about	what	is	going	on	a	few	hundred	miles	south	of	the	texas	border	.	it	would	not	be	a	stretch	to	say	that	"	men	with	guns	"	is	a	depressing	film	.	in	fact	,	the	two	feelings	it	evokes	most	are	hopelessness	and	failure	.	in	addition	to	loss	,	the	main	characters	are	also	failures	at	something	,	whether	that	be	dr	.	fuentes	failure	to	change	anything	through	medicine	,	or	padre	portillo's	inability	to	stand	up	and	be	the	martyr	he	always	dreamed	of	being	.	nevertheless	,	it	is	bleak	material	sayles	has	chosen	,	and	he	deals	with	it	accordingly	.	the	last	shot	of	the	film	does	offer	a	hint	of	hope	,	even	in	a	world	where	,	as	one	character	puts	it	,	"	nobody	refuses	the	men	with	guns	.	"
pos	the	uncompromising	nudity	bared	throughout	petrice	chereau's	intimacy	has	already	garnered	much	notoriety	,	but	it's	in	the	naked	faces	of	fearless	actors	mark	rylance	(	angels	insects	)	and	kerry	fox	(	welcome	to	sarajevo	)	that	the	tender	ache	of	emotional	resonance	is	discovered	.	with	sharp	,	intelligent	eyes	that	reflect	experience	and	maturity	,	rylance	and	fox	are	refreshingly	detached	from	the	false	glamour	of	hollywood	idols	.	their	sex	scenes	together	are	bracing	in	their	raw	honesty	,	in	the	acceptance	of	flesh	and	messiness	.	less	apparent	,	but	no	less	remarkable	,	are	the	astute	observations	of	behavior	revealed	through	those	carnal	beats	of	haste	and	hesitance	,	often	without	a	single	line	of	dialogue	.	not	aiming	for	the	spiritual	poetry	of	in	the	realm	of	the	senses	or	the	philosophical	transgressions	of	crash	,	chereau	keeps	his	sexual	odyssey	firmly	grounded	in	terms	of	straightforward	character	development	.	that	may	be	the	very	reason	why	intimacy	seems	unerringly	impressive	but	never	particularly	significant	on	more	than	a	tactile	,	sensory	level	.	the	themes	of	human	isolation	are	barren	and	obvious	,	a	science	project	devoid	of	any	especially	groundbreaking	hypothesis	.	intimacy	does	manage	to	stand	out	from	lesser	portraits	of	"	human	interconnectedness	"	and	pinter	esque	rummages	through	psychological	dirty	drawers	(	okay	,	kill	me	)	.	shallow	though	it	might	sound	,	it's	amazing	how	much	is	filled	in	through	an	inspired	cast	,	perceptive	camerawork	,	and	imaginative	ways	of	treating	the	love	scene	.	those	ingredients	are	too	assured	and	confident	to	merely	dismiss	as	icing	on	the	cake	,	especially	since	they	are	the	substance	of	the	cake	itself	.	adapted	from	a	pair	of	short	stories	by	british	novelist	hanif	kureishi	,	intimacy	weaves	desperate	lovemaking	between	two	strangers	in	london	.	every	wednesday	,	jay	(	rylance	)	and	claire	(	fox	)	meet	in	his	cluttered	,	dank	apartment	for	an	hour	or	two	of	sexual	release	from	their	uninspired	lives	.	he's	been	head	bartender	at	a	posh	restaurant	for	over	six	years	.	she's	a	mystery	to	him	but	her	glum	workaday	appearance	reveals	a	similar	dissatisfaction	.	they're	both	married	,	but	his	relationship	has	curdled	into	an	embittered	separation	.	as	the	weeks	draw	on	,	jay	obsessively	takes	it	upon	himself	to	uncover	claire's	personal	routines	.	in	his	attempt	to	gain	a	fuller	semblance	of	who	she	is	,	he	opens	wounds	that	hadn't	existed	before	by	single	handedly	corrupting	the	fantasy	.	if	it	weren't	for	a	few	unnecessary	subplots	involving	jay's	brother	and	his	bevy	of	disgruntled	co	workers	,	this	minimalist	premise	might	be	described	as	a	modern	fable	on	the	perils	of	wish	fulfillment	.	chareau's	restless	camera	(	once	again	wielded	by	superb	and	ever	attentive	cinematographer	eric	gautier	)	is	less	appropriate	here	than	in	his	family	transit	oriented	those	who	love	me	can	take	the	train	.	the	scenes	that	linger	are	the	still	ones	where	rylance	and	fox	separately	,	pensively	attempt	to	carry	on	with	their	makeshift	household	routines	.	these	are	often	captured	in	lingering	,	unblinking	wide	shots	that	view	them	stranded	amidst	their	drab	workplaces	and	homes	.	separation	proves	haunting	in	a	melancholy	series	of	intercut	shots	as	rylance	and	fox	undress	on	opposite	sides	of	the	room	,	crawling	across	the	floor	to	meet	in	the	center	.	despite	being	as	restless	as	a	fly	during	the	hyperactive	restaurant	scenes	(	all	the	better	to	blend	in	with	a	hustling	crowd	of	gabby	trendsetters	)	,	you'd	be	hard	pressed	to	find	a	single	uninteresting	image	.	intimacy	takes	an	interest	in	its	sordid	world	of	the	lower	middle	class	,	with	lonely	pubs	and	busy	shopping	streets	it	also	understands	the	people	who	inhabit	those	spaces	,	viewing	them	with	sympathy	scraped	raw	.	an	evaluation	would	be	incomplete	without	highlighting	the	great	timothy	spall	(	the	robust	scene	stealer	of	many	a	mike	leigh	collaboration	)	.	as	claire's	cuckolded	husband	,	this	jocular	heavyweight	plays	out	his	handful	of	bitter	pill	scenes	with	the	unforced	menace	and	self	effacing	embarrassment	of	his	imposing	bulk	.	bangs	in	his	eyes	,	his	mouth	forming	into	quizzical	pouts	and	dry	smirks	,	he	may	seem	the	fool	in	his	barroom	encounters	opposite	a	sarcastic	,	gleaming	mark	rylance	(	whose	jay	has	arrived	on	the	scene	looking	to	stir	up	some	trouble	)	,	but	spall	is	no	one	to	trifle	with	.	his	overreaching	best	pal	demeanor	suggests	a	mind	abuzz	with	secret	passageways	of	guile	,	his	pointed	questions	only	nave	if	you	choose	not	to	read	into	their	crafty	insinuations	.	in	his	unassuming	way	,	spall's	carefully	etched	interpretation	of	hostility	buried	under	a	mountain	of	surface	propriety	may	become	one	of	the	most	criminally	underappreciated	performances	of	the	year	,	but	maybe	also	one	of	the	best	.	he's	that	good	.
pos	o	(	1999	)	.	3	1	2	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	mekhi	phifer	,	josh	hartnett	,	julia	stiles	,	martin	sheen	,	andrew	keegan	,	rain	phoenix	,	elden	henson	and	john	heard	.	written	by	brad	kaaya	.	directed	by	tim	blake	nelson	.	rated	r	.	running	time	:	91	minutes	.	a	welcome	cinematic	trend	over	the	past	couple	of	years	has	been	to	make	the	works	of	shakespeare	more	accessible	to	the	younger	audiences	who	are	the	vast	majority	of	moviegoers	by	contemporizing	the	bard	and	altering	the	settings	to	familiar	surroundings	.	a	prime	example	of	this	is	1999's	10	things	i	hate	about	you	,	which	was	basically	the	taming	of	the	shrew	in	a	high	school	.	less	successful	was	last	year's	adaptation	of	hamlet	with	ethan	hawke	as	the	heir	apparent	of	the	denmark	corp	.	here	the	setting	was	the	corporate	world	of	new	york	.	now	comes	o	,	a	faithful	retelling	of	one	of	the	most	tragic	of	shakespeare's	tragedies	.	like	10	things	i	hate	about	you	,	the	stage	is	a	high	school	a	private	prep	school	where	odin	james	(	mekhi	phifer	)	is	the	on	court	general	,	the	basketball	team's	standout	player	.	julia	stiles	,	featured	in	10	things	i	hate	about	you	as	well	as	performing	ophelia	in	hawke's	hamlet	,	plays	desi	brable	,	odin's	girlfriend	,	whose	father	also	happens	to	be	dean	of	the	institution	.	josh	hartnett	(	pearl	harbor	)	is	on	hand	for	the	villainy	,	playing	the	scheming	hugo	,	who	sets	the	tragic	wheels	in	motion	.	o	was	actually	filmed	a	couple	of	years	ago	,	but	was	shelved	because	of	the	columbine	high	school	tragedy	.	the	movie	,	directed	by	tim	blake	nelson	best	known	for	his	co	starring	role	in	o	brother	,	where	art	thou	?	and	written	by	brad	kaaya	,	is	very	grim	.	an	air	of	tragedy	weighs	it	down	from	the	opening	scene	to	the	closing	credits	.	and	that	is	how	it	should	be	.	of	all	of	shakespeare's	tragedies	,	othello	is	the	most	harrowing	,	not	because	of	any	body	count	,	but	because	of	the	psychological	havoc	wreaked	by	iago	,	whose	motivation	in	the	sheer	pleasure	of	his	treachery	.	kaaya's	profane	filled	script	after	all	,	these	are	high	school	kids	does	offer	hugo	a	subtle	motive	of	sorts	.	the	young	man	considers	himself	the	basketball	team's	prime	utility	man	who	does	a	little	bit	of	everything	pass	,	shoot	,	rebound	but	is	constantly	in	the	shadow	of	odin	.	plus	his	father	,	the	team's	coach	played	with	a	ferocious	intensity	by	martin	sheen	showers	more	love	and	concern	on	his	star	player	than	on	his	own	flesh	and	blood	.	the	script	follows	the	familiar	lines	of	the	classic	.	hugo	begins	dropping	hints	to	odin	concerning	desi's	fidelity	,	eroding	the	star's	confidence	in	those	he	considers	closest	to	him	,	affecting	both	his	relationships	and	his	game	.	it	all	ends	in	blood	,	of	course	,	which	is	why	the	movie	was	originally	shelved	.	the	performances	in	o	vary	.	phifer	is	at	first	cocky	and	self	assured	,	emotions	he	handles	with	ease	.	he	also	does	quite	well	displaying	odin's	darker	side	;	his	defensive	sensitivity	about	being	the	only	black	at	the	institution	,	his	growing	distrust	of	those	he	loved	,	his	rage	and	the	erosion	of	his	belief	system	.	hartnett	is	appropriately	cool	and	machiavellian	as	he	weaves	his	deadly	web	of	lies	and	deceit	,	turning	friend	against	friend	,	and	lover	against	lover	.	stiles	seems	a	bit	stilted	,	but	occasionally	also	rises	to	the	occasion	,	moving	from	adoration	to	confusion	to	fear	of	her	young	knight	.	the	film	does	contain	a	few	missteps	:	a	subplot	involving	hugo's	theft	of	the	school	mascot	is	left	hanging	.	also	desi's	actions	concerning	michael	(	andrew	keegan	)	,	odin's	former	teammate	and	best	friend	who	was	kicked	off	the	team	because	of	one	of	hugo's	machinations	,	is	puzzling	.	why	she	would	continually	be	seen	with	michael	however	innocent	the	circumstances	when	she	knows	her	man	suspects	the	two	of	cheating	behind	his	back	.	it	is	irrational	.	but	these	are	minor	carpings	.	overall	,	o	is	a	stylish	and	faithful	adaptation	.	if	nothing	else	,	it	may	encourage	some	people	to	read	the	original	text	,	and	that	will	counterbalance	the	severity	of	this	feature	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	may	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
pos	review	by	laurence	mixson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	venom8	hotmail	.	com	"	venom8	hotmail	.	com	a	)	starring	sigourney	weaver	,	paul	reiser	,	michael	beihn	,	and	bill	paxton	.	every	once	in	a	while	a	movie	comes	along	that	completely	redefines	the	genre	:	with	dramas	,	it	was	citizen	kane	,	with	arthouse	it	was	pulp	fiction	,	and	with	comedy	it	was	,	well	,	that	jim	carrey	guy	(	okay	,	so	he's	not	a	movie	,	but	he	did	have	a	huge	influence	on	the	genre	.	not	to	mention	an	expensive	one	.	)	sometimes	a	movie	even	combines	them	all	into	a	big	,	sprawling	motion	picture	event	,	as	did	forrest	gump	four	years	ago	.	with	action	films	,	it	was	aliens	,	whic	was	released	to	much	hype	seven	years	after	it's	equally	innovative	parent	,	alien	(	1979	)	.	directed	and	written	by	james	cameron	(	t2	:	judgement	day	,	the	abyss	,	true	lies	)	,	the	authority	on	action	films	,	it	was	a	masterful	encore	to	his	sci	fi	thriller	the	terminator	(	1984	)	.	while	the	original	alien	film	was	a	dark	,	enclosed	horror	film	that	featured	one	alien	slowly	massacering	a	horrified	crew	,	james	cameron	took	the	big	budget	action	film	with	aliens	,	which	featured	multiple	aliens	doing	basically	the	same	thing	,	although	on	a	much	larger	scale	.	and	boy	,	did	he	take	that	route	!	i'd	say	at	about	165	mph	or	so	.	.	.	the	film	opens	57	years	after	the	original	,	with	lt	.	ripley	(	weaver	)	being	found	in	her	ship	in	a	cryogenic	state	by	a	salvage	vessel	.	if	you'll	recall	,	at	the	end	of	alien	ripley	,	the	only	surviving	member	,	cryogenically	"	hibernated	"	herself	after	expelling	the	rogue	alien	from	her	ship	.	unfortunately	,	she	thought	she'd	only	be	out	for	a	couple	of	weeks	.	.	.	once	she's	returned	to	earth	,	ripley	is	quickly	interrogated	by	"	the	company	"	,	who	quickly	dismiss	her	and	her	stories	as	lunacy	.	in	truth	,	they	believe	her	,	as	they	soon	approach	ripley	with	an	offer	to	travel	with	some	marines	to	a	new	colony	planet	as	an	"	alien	advisor	"	.	it	seems	that	the	colony	planet	was	a	once	breeding	ground	for	the	nasty	aliens	,	and	now	all	communication	with	the	planet	has	been	lost	.	.	.	it	doesn't	exactly	take	a	genius	to	guess	what	happens	next	:	ripley	agrees	,	and	before	you	can	say	"	big	mistake	"	,	she	and	the	half	dozen	marines	,	plus	the	slimy	corporate	guy	(	reiser	)	,	who	has	more	than	it	looks	like	up	under	his	sleeve	,	are	off	to	the	colony	.	when	they	arrive	,	they	find	the	planet	in	ruins	.	only	one	survivor	is	found	,	a	little	girl	,	newt	,	who	confirms	that	,	yes	,	the	aliens	were	here	and	that	she	only	managed	to	survive	by	hidding	in	the	ventilation	system	.	and	soon	enough	,	the	marines	come	under	attack	from	the	aliens	.	.	.	what	happens	for	the	next	hour	and	a	half	or	so	is	what	completely	sets	this	movie	apart	from	any	other	standard	alien	sci	fi	movie	:	the	action	scenes	.	cameron	directs	them	so	skillfully	,	and	so	suspensefully	,	that	you're	literally	ringing	your	hands	by	the	time	the	finale	rolls	around	.	which	features	,	in	my	opinion	,	the	best	fight	scene	ever	recorded	on	film	,	as	ripley	straps	herself	into	a	huge	robot	and	battles	the	nasty	queen	alien	to	the	death	.	many	people	will	tell	you	that	this	film	,	while	being	a	great	action	film	,	has	no	real	drama	and	is	all	cliches	.	well	,	they	would	be	wrong	,	my	friends	.	if	this	film	had	no	"	drama	"	,	then	why	was	sigourney	weaver	nominated	for	best	actress	at	the	1987	academy	awards	?	that's	right	,	best	actress	.	you	know	that	any	action	film	that	has	an	oscar	nomination	attached	to	it	for	something	other	than	technical	stuff	like	editing	and	f	x	has	got	to	be	good	.	in	short	,	aliens	combines	all	the	right	elements	(	great	action	and	f	x	,	drama	,	a	good	plot	,	good	dialogue	,	and	great	villains	)	into	what	could	arguably	be	called	the	best	action	film	of	all	time	.	then	again	,	maybe	not	.	movies	rise	and	fall	from	glory	and	,	sad	to	say	,	aliens	was	wrestled	from	it's	throne	of	best	action	movie	by	another	cameron	film	,	t2	:	judgement	day	,	in	1991	.	so	who	will	be	the	next	king	?	well	,	let's	wait	until	december	19th	and	see	yet	another	james	cameron	film	the	highest	budgeted	film	of	all	time	titanic	to	make	that	decision	.	i	can't	wait	.
pos	ciby	2000	miramax	1994	starring	toni	collette	,	bill	hunter	,	rachel	griffiths	screenplay	by	p	.	j	.	hogan	produced	by	lynda	house	and	jocelyn	moorhouse	directed	by	p	.	j	.	hogan	rated	aa	adult	accompaniment	for	those	under	fourteen	in	ontario	for	profanity	and	mature	themes	after	a	successful	run	in	australia	last	year	,	and	with	much	critical	praise	heaped	upon	it	,	muriel's	wedding	opens	into	medium	release	this	weekend	in	north	america	.	muriel	heslop	is	a	withdrawn	,	overweight	young	woman	living	in	porpoise	spit	,	australia	.	she	is	often	the	target	of	her	father's	frequent	rants	at	the	family	,	and	drowns	out	her	feelings	of	inadequacy	with	abba	music	and	fantasies	of	marriage	.	her	self	loathing	is	such	that	only	being	wed	shall	she	prove	herself	to	be	a	success	;	marriage	will	transform	her	into	a	new	person	who	is	respected	and	admired	.	after	her	four	cliquey	friends	dump	her	,	muriel	plots	to	follow	them	to	a	resort	where	they	are	celebrating	the	honeymoon	of	one	of	the	girls	,	and	muriel's	wedding	unfolds	from	there	.	toni	collette	plays	muriel	in	a	winning	performance	,	conveying	both	the	sadness	of	her	character	and	her	desperate	eagerness	to	be	accepted	.	collette	gained	a	frightening	43	pounds	in	order	to	play	the	chubby	title	character	.	she	has	a	natural	screen	presence	and	exudes	charisma	,	easily	winning	the	audience	over	with	an	honest	,	painful	performance	.	collette	basically	carries	the	film	,	appearing	in	almost	every	scene	.	muriel's	father	,	bill	"	the	battler	"	heslop	,	is	portrayed	by	bill	hunter	as	a	slick	politician	developer	.	while	chumming	around	with	young	fans	and	crowing	'you	can't	beat	progress'	(	his	slogan	)	,	bill	labels	his	family	as	worthless	and	embarrassments	.	rachel	griffiths	plays	rhonda	,	who	becomes	muriel's	cheeky	new	friend	in	the	film	.	she	has	good	chemistry	with	collette	,	and	the	film	suffers	when	griffiths	is	off	screen	.	muriel's	tormenters	,	played	by	pippa	grandison	,	rosalind	hammond	,	belinda	jarrett	and	sophie	lee	,	are	two	dimensional	caricatures	,	all	saucy	,	vain	and	bumblingly	spiteful	,	though	that	is	probably	due	to	hogan's	scripting	muriel's	wedding	is	essentially	a	genre	teen	comedy	with	more	intelligence	and	a	lot	of	charm	.	hogan's	use	of	abba	tunes	(	which	virtually	comprises	the	entire	soundtrack	)	is	interestingly	appropriate	,	although	its	repetitiveness	tires	after	awhile	.	hogan's	script	is	right	on	the	mark	in	terms	of	proportionately	mixing	comedy	with	muriel's	earnest	quest	for	acceptance	,	and	the	gorgeous	scene	with	muriel	window	shopping	beautifully	illustrates	the	wonder	that	marriage	has	for	her	.	the	glaring	pastel	colours	worn	by	the	performers	is	an	interesting	touch	.	muriel's	wedding	features	a	fine	performance	by	toni	collette	and	a	charming	,	if	a	bit	too	straightforward	and	conventional	story	by	p	.	j	.	hogan	.	on	my	four	star	scale	,	i	give	muriel's	wedding	three	stars	.
pos	director	:	michael	winterbottom	writer	:	hossein	amini	(	based	on	the	novel	"	jude	the	obscure	"	by	thomas	hardy	)	starring	:	christopher	eccleston	,	kate	winslet	,	liam	cunningham	,	rachel	griffiths	,	june	whittfield	,	ross	curvin	turnball	,	james	daley	no	,	i	did	not	read	the	novel	by	thomas	hardy	,	"	jude	the	obscure	,	"	his	final	novel	(	final	because	this	film	created	such	an	outrage	that	he	never	wrote	again	see	:	i	did	do	some	research	on	it	)	about	a	man	who	is	plagued	with	bad	luck	throughout	his	entire	life	.	but	,	after	watching	the	movie	,	i	can	imagine	how	incredibly	depressing	it	is	.	"	jude	"	is	a	satirical	film	from	start	to	finish	about	society's	way	of	spitting	out	and	chewing	up	those	unwanted	in	its	system	,	but	what's	remarkable	is	how	timeless	this	film	is	.	the	film	takes	place	in	the	late	19th	century	(	or	early	20th	wasn't	really	sure	)	,	but	its	story	could	even	be	retold	today	in	modern	form	,	although	it'd	be	kinda	different	(	a	given	)	.	it	tells	the	story	of	jude	(	christopher	eccleston	the	psychotic	accountant	from	"	shallow	grave	"	)	a	simple	,	dim	witted	young	man	with	big	dreams	.	in	its	bleak	,	foreboding	opening	,	shot	in	grainy	black	and	white	,	he	gets	a	lesson	from	phillotson	(	liam	cunningham	)	,	his	teacher	:	as	they	stand	upon	a	mountain	,	looking	upon	a	city	in	the	distance	,	he	says	all	you	have	to	do	is	work	hard	and	you	can	have	anything	in	the	world	.	after	marrying	and	divorcing	an	immature	woman	named	arabella	(	rachel	griffiths	)	because	they	frolicked	in	the	hay	(	literally	)	but	did	not	ultimately	share	anything	in	common	,	he	moves	away	to	a	town	with	a	giant	university	,	with	a	chance	to	learn	more	,	and	get	ahead	in	life	.	taking	a	welding	job	,	he	works	hard	while	studying	constantly	for	his	college	bars	,	reciting	latin	over	and	over	again	,	and	training	himself	.	but	when	he	sends	his	application	for	the	school	in	,	he	is	bluntly	told	to	just	remain	a	worker	.	another	reason	for	going	to	this	town	was	because	someone	in	his	family	lives	there	:	sue	(	kate	winslet	)	,	his	cousin	and	a	very	intelligent	but	kinda	mischevious	young	woman	who	wants	to	be	a	school	teacher	.	she	and	jude	click	eventually	and	become	very	endearing	friends	,	so	much	that	when	she	spends	the	night	at	his	flat	after	running	from	her	apprentice	teacher	job	(	for	none	other	than	phillotson	at	the	local	school	)	,	there	are	rumors	that	she	and	jude	did	some	nasty	business	(	nudge	nudge	)	.	several	twists	turn	in	the	storyline	,	and	eventually	jude	and	sue	do	do	some	nasty	business	(	an	interesting	scene	,	to	say	the	least	.	.	.	)	,	and	are	soon	born	into	a	controversial	non	wedlock	,	as	she	eventually	gives	birth	to	their	baby	,	and	jude	inherits	his	son	from	arabella	,	who	turns	up	again	after	awhile	.	because	they	aren't	married	,	and	because	they're	cousins	,	they	run	into	problems	with	every	place	they	go	to	,	carrying	around	two	children	everywhere	,	and	only	staying	in	lodges	for	a	very	brief	period	of	time	,	then	moving	on	.	if	you	didn't	think	this	was	harsh	enough	,	wait	till	you	see	what	happens	later	on	.	.	.	the	sad	truth	is	that	jude	is	one	of	the	miserable	people	who	can	never	get	any	luck	in	this	world	.	he	will	never	gain	any	true	happiness	,	and	any	happiness	that	happens	to	him	will	be	fleeting	,	and	will	probably	bring	more	horrible	instances	to	his	life	.	part	of	it	is	his	fault	he's	too	optimistic	,	and	too	gullible	.	but	society	has	a	way	of	taking	these	people	,	and	hurting	them	until	their	death	.	the	ending	of	"	jude	"	is	bleak	because	it	has	to	be	(	although	i	hear	the	ending	of	the	novel	is	even	worse	guess	i'll	have	to	read	it	now	)	.	"	jude	"	offers	a	satirical	view	on	society's	cruelties	,	but	shows	no	way	of	curing	this	,	and	thank	heavens	it	doesn't	.	there's	no	way	to	relinquish	the	selfishness	of	society	,	and	any	solution	would	be	too	small	to	cure	such	a	mass	problem	.	satire	has	always	been	one	of	the	few	ways	of	changing	certain	people's	minds	,	and	that's	what	"	jude	"	is	.	sure	,	it's	one	hell	of	a	downer	,	but	it	needs	to	be	.	the	film	also	posesses	two	fantastic	performances	from	its	two	leads	,	and	some	good	supporting	work	along	with	it	.	christopher	eccleston	(	slightly	resembling	richard	edson	with	his	new	look	and	dumb	expression	)	plays	jude	wonderfully	,	sometimes	bringing	a	big	dumb	smile	to	his	face	,	and	making	him	kind	of	child	like	at	other	times	.	kate	winslet	,	in	a	pre	"	titanic	"	performance	,	is	brilliant	,	nailing	every	psyche	of	her	character	,	and	creating	someone	who's	troubled	but	very	seductive	with	her	personality	.	kate	may	be	the	best	actress	in	her	age	group	(	if	you	don't	believe	me	,	see	"	titanic	,	"	branagh's	"	hamlet	,	"	"	sense	and	sensibility	,	"	and	"	heavenly	creatures	,	"	the	latter	one	being	my	favorite	performance	of	hers	)	.	in	the	supporting	roles	,	liam	cunningham	is	a	wonderfully	flawed	teacher	,	exposing	all	his	bad	parts	,	but	ultimately	being	a	pretty	good	person	;	and	rachel	griffiths	is	wonderfully	immature	as	jude's	wife	,	whom	he	never	divorces	.	"	jude	"	moves	at	a	very	slow	pace	,	and	keeps	taunting	its	viewers	with	chances	of	happiness	for	its	protagonists	,	which	would	drive	some	people	nuts	.	but	those	who	appreciate	good	social	commentary	with	their	films	,	no	matter	how	slow	or	downright	depressing	they	are	(	this	one	is	both	)	will	appreciate	"	jude	,	"	though	i	doubt	anyone	truly	enjoys	it	.
pos	shakespeare	.	you	hardly	understood	it	in	high	school	.	why	would	you	want	more	of	it	now	that	your	english	grade	doesn't	count	on	it	?	if	this	is	your	attitude	,	then	i'll	say	right	off	the	bat	that	kenneth	branagh's	hamlet	is	probably	not	for	you	,	and	you	might	as	well	stop	reading	right	now	.	if	,	however	,	you	are	a	lover	of	the	bard	,	or	at	the	very	least	are	open	minded	about	a	challenging	script	,	read	on	,	for	there	is	something	rotten	in	the	state	of	denmark	.	namely	,	the	king	has	died	,	and	his	widow	the	queen	has	wed	the	king's	brother	,	claudius	,	but	prince	hamlet	suspects	foul	play	.	his	suspicions	are	confirmed	when	the	ghost	of	his	father	appears	and	relates	the	story	of	his	murder	at	his	own	brother's	hands	.	hamlet	,	enlisting	the	help	of	his	friend	horatio	,	conspires	to	capture	the	conscience	of	the	new	king	to	expose	his	treachery	.	.	.	.	and	the	game	is	afoot	.	.	.	.	the	first	things	you	notice	about	this	production	are	the	sets	and	costumes	.	with	external	scenes	filmed	at	blemheim	palace	in	england	(	also	the	one	of	the	sites	for	the	recent	the	avengers	)	,	the	grandiose	quality	of	the	setting	is	immediately	established	.	interior	scenes	are	similarly	graced	with	intricate	and	flamboyant	rooms	and	chambers	.	the	hamlet	castle's	grand	throne	room	is	an	impressive	piece	of	work	incorporating	high	ceilings	,	mirror	panel	doors	,	and	bridges	which	connect	opposite	sides	of	a	second	story	loft	.	costuming	is	equally	grand	,	drawing	upon	both	history	and	imagination	.	.	not	quite	the	denmark	of	the	1600's	,	the	characters'	attire	is	something	of	a	cross	between	that	era	and	turn	of	the	century	russia	,	very	effectively	giving	the	film	more	of	a	timeless	feel	.	it	is	not	surprising	that	tim	harvey	and	alexandra	byrne	were	nominated	for	best	art	direction	and	best	costume	design	oscars	,	respectively	.	in	addition	to	directing	,	kenneth	branagh	also	plays	the	title	character	.	as	the	revenge	driven	royal	heir	,	branagh	provides	a	riveting	performance	of	emotional	highs	and	lows	.	from	the	anticipation	of	seeing	his	father's	ghost	,	to	the	melancholy	of	finding	the	burial	site	of	his	childhood	jester	,	to	his	eventual	wrath	,	branagh	delivers	in	spades	.	every	scene	truly	revolves	around	hamlet	,	as	much	a	tribute	to	branagh's	acting	and	directing	as	to	shakespeare's	manuscript	.	hamlet	seems	to	be	a	who's	who	of	shakespearean	trained	actors	,	so	watching	them	perform	the	craft	for	which	they	have	much	love	is	a	delight	in	itself	.	julie	christie	,	as	hamlet's	mother	gertrude	,	and	derek	jacobi	as	his	murderous	uncle	claudius	both	fill	the	classic	roles	superbly	,	as	do	many	of	the	supporting	players	.	kate	winslet	as	hamlet's	lover	ophelia	,	does	an	outstanding	job	demonstrating	the	character's	plummet	to	the	depths	of	dispair	and	madness	.	richard	briers	as	ophelia's	father	,	polonius	,	and	michael	moloney	as	her	brother	,	laertes	,	are	equally	convincing	.	nicholas	farrell	as	hamlet's	trusted	friend	horatio	,	and	timothy	spall	and	reece	dinsdale	as	the	two	timing	rosencrantz	and	guildenstern	round	out	the	excellent	core	cast	.	hamlet	also	seems	to	be	a	film	in	which	someone	tried	to	stuff	as	many	well	known	actors	as	possible	.	in	some	cases	,	this	made	for	interesting	scenes	.	billy	crystal	is	surprisingly	good	as	the	gravedigger	who	unearths	the	skull	of	yorick	,	whom	hamlet	knew	quite	well	.	crystal	proves	himself	able	to	deliver	the	lines	with	both	the	timing	of	a	classic	actor	and	the	verbal	countenance	of	a	comedian	,	and	the	result	is	a	very	funny	scene	.	however	,	charleton	heston	,	whom	many	might	think	would	butcher	shakespeare	,	is	the	biggest	surprise	of	all	.	as	the	player	king	,	the	leader	of	a	troupe	of	traveling	actors	,	he	is	absolutely	breathtaking	when	narrating	the	story	of	priam	and	hecuba	.	part	of	his	monologue	is	overlaid	with	a	visual	enactment	of	the	story	(	with	sir	john	gielgud	and	judi	dench	)	,	but	this	is	most	unfortunate	,	for	it	robs	heston	of	some	of	the	attention	which	he	deserves	at	this	time	.	his	off	camera	speaking	,	while	gripping	,	sort	of	downplays	the	scene	to	a	narration	done	by	any	other	well	voiced	actor	.	i	wish	branagh	had	chosen	to	allow	us	to	envision	in	our	own	minds	the	scene	which	heston	lays	out	,	and	let	the	venerable	actor	have	the	attention	.	unfortunately	,	there	were	some	casting	choices	which	led	to	poor	distractions	.	jack	lemmon	,	an	excellent	actor	,	just	can't	do	shakespeare	.	as	marcellus	,	the	guard	who	sees	the	elder	hamlet's	ghost	,	lemmon	sadly	underperforms	and	is	shown	up	left	and	right	by	those	around	him	.	gerard	depardieu	,	another	talented	actor	,	is	wasted	when	given	little	more	than	the	utterances	of	"	yes	,	my	lord	"	and	"	no	,	my	lord	"	in	the	role	of	reynaldo	.	richard	attenborough	has	a	(	literally	)	walk	on	role	,	showing	up	at	the	eleventh	hour	as	the	english	ambassador	.	i	think	he	had	two	lines	.	then	there	is	rufus	sewell	as	fortinbras	of	norway	.	when	i	went	to	see	dangerous	beauty	earlier	this	year	,	two	ladies	behind	me	kept	commenting	about	how	handsome	he	was	.	if	bulging	eyes	are	your	idea	of	handsome	,	well	i	guess	comic	actor	marty	feldman	was	some	kind	of	sex	symbol	to	you	.	hamlet	is	a	complicated	tale	of	treachery	and	revenge	in	which	triumph	and	defeat	become	one	.	branagh	attempts	to	help	us	out	with	some	of	the	intricacies	by	visually	representing	some	of	the	more	elusive	stretches	of	dialogue	by	presenting	them	as	flashback	type	images	.	this	only	works	about	half	the	time	,	and	i	wonder	if	it	would	have	been	just	as	well	to	do	without	them	.	you	don't	have	to	be	some	kind	of	genius	to	appreciate	shakespeare	,	but	it	is	quite	difficult	to	understand	unless	you	have	the	time	to	read	or	hear	it	carefully	and	repeatedly	.	the	alternate	method	of	comprehension	is	that	with	which	most	of	us	are	familiar	,	the	high	school	english	course	.	in	it	,	you	are	hopefully	fortunate	enough	to	have	an	educator	willing	to	help	you	with	the	plot	points	and	nuances	essential	to	understanding	a	play	written	in	the	rigmarole	known	as	the	king's	english	.	or	i	suppose	you	could	just	read	the	cliff	notes	.
pos	rated	r	starring	eddie	murphy	,	martin	lawrence	,	obba	batabunde	,	lisa	nicole	carson	,	nick	cassavettes	,	noah	emmerich	,	bokeem	woodbine	,	clarence	williams	iii	written	by	robert	ramsey	matthew	stone	directed	by	ted	demme	life	,	ted	demme's	wonderful	new	film	,	falls	prey	to	the	predator	called	marketing	.	anyone	who	has	seen	the	film's	trailer	and	or	poster	will	simply	dismiss	the	film	as	another	dumb	eddie	murphy	or	martin	lawrence	vehicle	,	either	filled	with	offensive	jokes	or	strictly	for	the	kids	.	such	things	happen	when	an	actors	become	typecast	,	as	eddie	murphy	and	martin	lawrence	have	,	but	their	new	film	,	life	,	is	as	expansive	as	it's	title	indicates	.	ray	and	claude	(	murphy	and	lawrence	,	respectively	)	,	two	practical	strangers	living	in	harlem	,	meet	when	they	are	forced	to	retrieve	many	cases	of	beer	for	the	local	kingpin	,	spanky	,	because	of	debts	they	each	owe	.	as	they	travel	down	to	mississippi	,	they	lose	all	of	their	money	gambling	to	a	hotshot	whom	they	later	find	dead	right	in	front	of	their	eyes	.	the	man	was	beaten	to	death	by	a	cop	,	but	the	hicks	who	find	the	two	black	men	suspect	him	immediately	,	and	before	they	know	it	they	are	sentenced	to	prison	for	life	;	hence	the	title	.	the	mississippi	state	prison	of	life	is	a	fairly	lenient	one	.	the	prison	is	actually	a	large	farm	with	no	gates	,	but	a	boundary	called	the	"	gun	line	"	.	ray	and	claude	form	an	unlikely	partnership	,	even	though	claude	still	blames	ray	for	getting	them	into	the	prison	.	among	the	colleagues	they	meet	,	the	most	memorable	ones	(	i	forget	his	name	,	but	it's	long	)	is	a	silent	man	(	bokeem	woodbine	)	who	,	because	of	his	baseball	ablility	,	is	able	to	escape	the	prison	for	the	negro	leagues	,	and	a	homosexual	inmate	who	is	granted	a	pardon	but	decides	to	commit	suicide	instead	of	letting	his	parents	see	what's	happened	to	him	while	in	jail	.	as	ray	and	claude	get	older	,	the	film	begins	to	grow	on	the	viewer	more	and	more	.	after	a	few	failed	escape	attempts	during	their	lifetime	,	the	two	men	are	beginning	to	ponder	their	own	existence	and	wonder	why	they're	wasting	their	time	.	but	they	never	lose	hope	.	these	qualities	of	the	film	,	among	others	,	compare	favorably	with	the	oscar	winning	italian	film	life	is	beautiful	.	like	life	is	beautiful	,	life's	characters	try	to	provide	humor	and	dreams	to	get	them	through	their	suffering	.	ray	sparks	the	interest	of	his	cellmates	when	they	all	begin	to	dream	about	their	place	in	ray's	boom	boom	room	,	a	nightclub	in	which	they	all	play	their	own	little	part	.	ray	and	claude	help	prove	the	universal	theory	that	hope	and	faith	can	get	anyone	through	the	worst	of	times	.	director	ted	demme	(	beautiful	girls	,	monument	ave	.	)	,	nephew	of	director	jonathan	demme	(	silence	of	the	lambs	,	philadelphia	)	lets	his	actors	shine	in	roles	that	flaunt	their	dramatic	and	comedic	acting	abilities	.	the	film	never	really	addresses	subjects	like	racism	head	on	,	but	the	film	does	,	in	a	much	deeper	way	,	help	unite	a	feeling	of	peace	,	instead	of	violence	.	the	film	then	ends	on	a	happy	note	,	before	subjecting	the	viewer	to	the	unneccesary	outtakes	.	but	life	is	still	one	of	the	year's	most	unexpected	surprises	.	the	film	pulls	no	punches	in	getting	it's	way	to	your	heart	,	and	it	proves	that	life	,	though	not	always	beautiful	,	is	always	worth	living	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	"	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	director	:	michael	hoffman	screenplay	:	terrel	seltzer	and	ellen	simon	producer	:	via	rosa	productions	fox	2000	pictures	running	time	:	approx	.	108	minutes	.	cast	:	michelle	pfeiffer	,	george	clooney	,	mae	whitman	,	alex	linz	rating	:	1	2	out	of	ok	,	i	admit	i	had	a	bad	attitude	about	this	film	from	the	start	.	a	romantic	comedy	about	the	trials	and	tribulations	of	single	working	parents	?	with	a	couple	of	incredibly	cute	kids	thrown	in	for	good	measure	?	yuck	.	but	it's	not	really	too	bad	.	it	has	a	lot	working	against	it	,	for	me	at	least	.	in	addition	to	the	above	,	it	is	typical	of	a	lot	of	recent	movies	in	that	it	is	really	just	a	glorified	made	for	tv	movie	,	but	longer	and	with	bigger	stars	,	and	you	have	to	pay	to	see	it	.	it	does	win	you	over	,	though	,	even	if	it	is	painfully	predictable	.	just	think	about	it	:	two	single	parents	,	with	their	cute	kids	,	are	thrown	together	due	to	a	missed	field	trip	.	through	a	day	of	near	disasters	,	they	cont	inually	meet	,	get	in	one	another's	way	,	cause	trouble	for	one	another	,	and	generally	insult	one	another	at	every	opportunity	.	in	fact	,	they	hate	each	other	so	much	that	we	know	that	they	are	,	or	soon	will	be	,	in	love	.	the	only	people	who	hate	each	other	more	than	lovers	are	married	couples	.	so	this	film	is	predictable	,	just	as	the	screwball	comedies	of	the	classical	hollywood	cinema	were	predictable	(	and	the	screwball	genre	is	obviously	hoffman's	model	for	this	film	)	.	will	they	get	fired	from	their	yuppie	jobs	?	will	they	make	the	big	soccer	game	that	is	so	important	to	their	kids	?	will	pfeiffer	realize	what	a	jerk	her	ex	husband	,	a	drummer	for	bruce	springsteen	,	really	is	(	aren't	they	all	?	)	?	will	they	finally	kiss	?	well	,	what	do	you	expect	?	but	there	is	a	certain	amount	of	satisfaction	in	having	our	expectations	fulfilled	,	especially	when	it	is	done	with	as	much	humour	,	along	with	a	lack	of	sticky	sentimentality	,	as	it	is	in	this	film	.	pfeiffer	and	clooney	have	a	certain	chemistry	together	that	is	surprisingly	charming	,	and	the	kids	are	neither	shoved	into	the	background	nor	allowed	to	steal	the	show	.	one	word	of	caution	,	though	.	this	film	is	being	billed	in	some	places	as	a	"	family	"	movie	.	don't	let	that	stop	you	.	however	,	i	think	most	kids	,	especially	boys	,	would	be	pretty	bored	by	this	move	.	after	all	,	nobody	gets	killed	and	there	are	no	explosions	.	all	in	all	,	a	good	,	non	offensive	date	movie	.	the	flying	inkpot	rating	system	:	wait	for	the	tv2	broadcast	.	a	little	creaky	,	but	still	better	than	staying	at	home	with	gotcha	!	pretty	good	,	bring	a	friend	.	amazing	,	potent	stuff	.	perfection	.	see	it	twice	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	current	film	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	a
pos	written	by	:	peter	wang	and	shirley	sunstarring	:	peter	wang	,	sharon	iwai	,	kelvin	han	yee	,	li	qinqin	,	hy	xiaoguang	,	shen	guanglan	synopsis	:	in	this	cultural	exploration	,	a	chinese	american	computer	engineer	named	fang	(	peter	wang	)	decides	to	take	a	month	long	vacation	to	visit	his	sister	mrs	.	chao	(	shen	guanglan	)	,	her	husband	mr	.	chao	(	hy	xiaoguang	)	,	and	their	teenage	daughter	lili	(	li	qinqin	)	in	beijing	after	30	years	of	separation	.	fang	brings	his	asian	american	wife	grace	(	sharon	iwai	)	and	his	college	aged	son	paul	(	kelvin	han	yee	)	along	,	both	of	whom	don't	speak	chinese	.	the	encounter	between	the	two	families	allows	the	audience	to	compare	the	eastern	and	western	cultures	as	well	as	the	ambitions	of	individual	characters	.	opinion	:	sometimes	a	film	is	plot	driven	.	sometimes	it's	a	character	sketch	.	a	great	wall	(	1986	)	can	be	called	a	culture	sketch	,	as	opposed	to	a	character	sketch	because	it	gently	compares	a	chinese	american	family	to	a	beijing	family	.	fang's	family	is	thoroughly	americanized	.	fang	is	an	upper	middle	class	professional	who	enjoys	jogging	and	argues	with	his	boss	.	his	wife	can't	cook	chinese	.	his	son	has	a	white	girlfriend	and	complains	of	racism	when	fang	encourages	him	to	befriend	an	asian	girl	.	meanwhile	fang's	beijing	sister	advocates	absolute	loyalty	to	the	'work	unit	.	'	her	husband	is	a	retired	official	who	has	heard	rumors	of	american	depravity	(	homosexuals	running	the	streets	)	,	and	her	daughter	lili	longs	for	american	freedoms	in	a	youth	culture	where	studying	for	college	entrance	exams	is	the	most	important	thing	in	life	.	the	two	families	spend	a	month	slowly	learning	about	each	other	.	there	is	no	ultimate	'answer'	or	final	comprehensive	understanding	after	the	month	long	vacation	.	the	film	is	neither	here	nor	there	;	it's	a	neutral	,	meandering	,	gentle	,	portrait	of	life	on	both	sides	.	copyright	1998	by	david	sunga	this	review	and	others	like	it	can	be	found	at	the	critic	zoo	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	criticzoo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	criticzoo	.	com	a	email	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	zookeeper	criticzoo	.	com	"	zookeeper	criticzoo	.	com	a
pos	starring	james	dean	,	natalie	wood	,	sal	mineo	,	jim	backus	,	ann	doran	,	corey	allen	,	william	hopper	,	and	dennis	hopper	.	"	rebel	without	a	cause	"	is	such	an	important	film	in	american	history	because	it	is	a	true	analysis	of	youth	in	america	that	everyone	of	all	ages	can	relate	to	.	everyone	feels	that	they	are	different	in	some	way	,	that	they	don't	belong	in	some	places	and	"	rebel	without	a	cause	"	successfully	shows	on	screen	these	universal	emotions	.	no	matter	what	generation	you	belong	to	,	these	feelings	are	present	.	this	is	why	james	dean	is	admired	by	america	,	because	in	this	film	he	represents	us	all	and	his	actions	are	actions	that	we	would	also	execute	.	in	our	minds	,	we	just	try	to	do	the	right	thing	just	like	dean's	jim	stark	does	.	not	only	does	"	rebel	without	a	cause	"	display	these	universal	emotions	for	all	to	relate	to	but	it	also	shows	that	america	has	suffered	a	uniqe	pattern	in	its	social	structure	.	each	generation	looks	at	its	past	generation	without	a	strong	connection	.	this	is	because	times	change	and	in	response	people	change	.	no	matter	how	popular	you	were	once	,	as	your	generation	grows	older	,	newer	breeds	look	at	you	in	a	different	light	.	this	is	why	stark	and	his	friends	never	could	form	a	strong	relationship	with	their	parents	.	even	if	their	parents	insisted	that	they	were	also	rebellious	and	troublesome	in	the	past	,	the	teens	could	not	believe	this	.	in	one	humorous	scene	,	stark	,	his	girlfriend	judy	(	natalie	wood	)	,	and	his	pal	plato	(	sal	mineo	)	pretend	they	are	adults	.	they	use	upper	class	british	accents	and	in	their	conversations	they	make	it	out	to	appear	that	kids	are	no	good	and	should	be	ignored	.	this	scene	shows	that	what	was	once	cool	in	a	past	generation	is	the	complete	opposite	in	another	.	speaking	on	behalf	of	my	generation	,	i	feel	that	dean	has	lost	a	lot	of	his	coolness	from	our	perspective	as	the	years	have	grown	by	.	the	only	ones	who	seem	to	still	lionize	him	are	those	members	of	his	generation	.	same	goes	for	brando	,	redford	,	even	deniro	.	i	can	only	imagine	how	vaguely	matt	damon	,	ben	affleck	,	and	brad	pitt	will	be	viewed	at	the	mid	point	of	the	twenty	first	century	.	will	dean	even	be	remembered	when	these	newcomers	are	forgotten	?	any	film	that	sparks	this	kind	of	thought	is	certainly	a	milestone	in	american	film	.	even	if	"	rebel	without	a	cause	"	has	some	ridiculous	scenes	(	the	game	of	chicken	did	people	really	act	this	way	?	)	,	an	unbelievable	conclusion	(	how	did	everyone	end	up	at	the	abandoned	mansion	at	the	end	?	)	,	and	a	silly	romance	(	wood	declares	her	love	for	dean	after	talking	to	him	for	a	couple	hours	)	it	still	is	a	fabulous	film	.	the	acting	is	so	believable	that	it	is	no	wonder	that	dean	was	considered	the	epitome	of	cool	.	now	,	however	,	the	coolness	is	fading	.	.	.
pos	mary	norton's	children's	book	series	,	the	borrowers	,	has	been	made	into	several	below	average	television	movies	.	so	,	i	wasn't	too	enthused	as	i	entered	the	theater	for	the	big	screen	debut	of	the	minute	clan	.	but	i	was	in	for	a	shock	,	the	borrowers	is	actually	a	thoroughly	delightful	movie	with	plenty	of	good	laughs	and	even	some	decent	special	effects	.	the	lender	family	is	being	thrown	out	of	their	longtime	home	.	their	aunt	,	who	owned	the	property	,	never	left	a	will	.	now	,	an	unscrupulous	lawyer	,	ocious	potter	(	john	goodman	)	plans	to	demolish	the	house	and	replace	it	with	an	ultra	modern	housing	development	.	but	the	lenders	are	not	alone	in	their	house	.	living	under	the	floorboards	is	a	family	of	borrowers	,	4	inch	tall	people	who	make	their	living	as	scavengers	from	the	human	"	beans	"	above	.	the	clock	family	of	borrowers	is	as	distressed	as	the	lenders	,	especially	once	they	discover	the	evil	potter	actually	has	a	copy	of	the	will	which	leaves	the	home	to	the	lenders	.	so	it	is	up	to	the	clocks	(	pod	(	jim	broadbent	)	and	homily	(	celia	imrie	)	,	along	with	their	kids	,	arrietty	(	flora	newbigin	)	and	peagreen	(	tom	felton	)	)	to	recover	the	will	and	save	the	household	.	but	when	potter	learns	of	the	tiny	people	,	he	enlists	the	skills	of	exterminator	jeff	(	mark	williams	)	to	kill	off	the	clan	.	there's	plenty	of	attention	to	detail	in	the	borrowers	,	especially	in	the	furnishings	of	the	clock	family	house	,	made	out	of	lost	board	game	parts	and	credit	cards	.	the	background	details	are	nearly	as	rich	as	the	entertaining	story	.	the	various	predicaments	of	the	clock	family	are	clever	and	thrilling	.	based	on	an	original	story	,	the	screenwriters	did	a	good	job	at	imagining	all	the	potential	and	unusual	perils	that	could	exist	for	a	4	inch	tall	person	.	as	the	villain	,	john	goodman's	performance	veers	on	the	edge	of	being	over	the	top	.	but	his	performance	suits	the	role	well	,	and	he	does	very	well	in	the	film's	many	slapstick	moments	.	with	a	nearly	seamless	mix	of	oversized	sets	,	bluescreen	shots	and	cgi	,	the	special	effects	in	the	borrowers	are	very	well	done	.	there	are	a	few	times	when	you	can	spot	the	effects	at	work	,	but	none	of	them	are	so	jarring	that	you	lose	the	suspension	of	disbelief	.	hopefully	the	borrowers	will	surpass	the	curse	of	being	labeled	a	children	only	movie	,	for	it	is	surprisingly	entertaining	and	fun	to	watch	.
pos	two	girls	and	a	guy	(	fox	searchlight	1998	)	starring	robert	downey	jr	.	,	heather	graham	,	natasha	gregson	wagner	screenplay	by	james	toback	produced	by	edward	r	.	pressman	,	chris	hanley	directed	by	james	toback	running	time	:	92	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	james	toback's	return	to	directing	after	a	eight	year	layoff	,	two	girls	and	a	guy	,	is	a	film	which	is	comprised	,	more	or	less	,	of	just	that	:	one	guy	,	blake	(	robert	downey	jr	.	)	;	two	girls	,	carla	(	heather	graham	)	and	lou	(	natasha	gregson	wagner	)	;	one	primary	setting	(	blake's	absurdly	spacious	bachelor	apartment	)	,	and	a	great	deal	of	dialogue	.	embracing	a	near	real	time	approach	,	this	is	a	highly	theatrical	feature	that	completely	hangs	upon	the	performances	of	its	three	actors	and	the	quality	of	the	dialogue	written	by	mr	.	toback	for	his	bantering	characters	.	fortunately	,	the	film's	cast	is	up	to	the	challenge	,	and	the	wordy	exchanges	between	the	triad	of	characters	,	while	admittedly	variable	,	are	occasionally	wickedly	amusing	.	the	film's	setup	is	fairly	generic	in	nature	,	and	opens	rather	unpromisingly	.	we	meet	self	possessed	blonde	carla	and	feisty	brunette	lou	,	both	waiting	outside	a	soho	loft	.	as	they	engage	in	idle	chatter	,	it	is	revealed	that	they're	both	waiting	for	their	respective	boyfriends	to	return	from	the	airport	,	and	it	doesn't	take	long	for	them	to	come	to	the	realisation	that	they're	being	two	timed	by	the	same	guy	.	more	indignant	with	him	than	catty	with	each	other	,	the	duo	break	into	blake's	loft	and	await	his	arrival	for	a	confrontation	.	it's	when	blake	returns	to	his	abode	where	the	film	hits	its	stride	.	played	with	magnificent	bombast	by	mr	.	downey	jr	.	,	blake	is	a	cad	,	all	right	,	but	a	captivatingly	dynamic	,	blusterous	,	and	stealthy	piece	of	work	that	bursts	onto	the	scene	and	raises	the	stakes	to	new	heights	.	it's	fascinating	to	watch	this	character	in	his	natural	habitat	,	and	perhaps	the	film's	best	choice	was	to	have	his	two	girlfriends	scamper	off	into	hiding	upon	his	return	,	allowing	us	to	size	up	blake	not	with	his	interactions	with	others	,	but	by	his	own	innate	behaviour	.	whether	he's	flamboyantly	behind	his	piano	in	a	rollicking	rendition	of	vivaldi	,	or	on	the	phone	leaving	messages	to	his	beloveds	(	carla	,	lou	,	and	his	unseen	sickly	mother	)	,	it's	never	less	than	wildly	entertaining	and	insightful	.	though	at	this	point	i	almost	hoped	the	film	would	transform	into	a	one	man	show	a	typical	afternoon	in	the	life	of	blake	,	if	you	will	carla	,	and	then	lou	,	reveal	themselves	,	and	the	sparks	begin	to	fly	.	(	one	of	the	great	touches	in	the	film	is	how	blake	,	when	startled	by	carla's	unannounced	appearance	,	begins	to	both	verbally	and	physically	backpedal	even	before	he	realizes	that	the	cat's	out	of	the	bag	.	)	double	teamed	by	the	understandably	aggrieved	women	(	who	are	more	smirkingly	inquisitive	than	ferociously	vengeful	they	want	a	justification	for	his	ongoing	hypocrisy	)	,	an	increasingly	flustered	blake	weakly	defends	himself	with	apologetic	and	even	self	righteous	declarations	against	their	verbal	jabs	.	surprisingly	delightful	in	the	waltz	of	scathing	witty	banter	shared	by	its	trio	of	characters	,	two	girls	and	a	guy	concludes	its	first	sequence	with	an	unexpected	apoplectic	act	of	such	outrageous	audacity	that	it	seemed	nothing	was	off	limits	for	this	film	.	however	,	it'd	be	unfeasible	to	attempt	to	string	along	carla	and	lou's	outrage	to	full	feature	length	,	and	it's	as	the	movie	gradually	transforms	into	the	sharing	of	exploratory	profundities	on	the	nature	of	fidelity	and	relationships	that	it	slowly	but	surely	begins	to	unravel	.	the	dialogue	becomes	less	and	less	engaging	and	clever	,	the	film's	tempo	loses	its	liveliness	,	the	dynamic	between	the	characters	evolves	in	unconvincing	fashion	,	and	several	sequences	fall	flat	.	subtle	and	not	quite	subtle	allusions	are	made	(	a	poster	of	jules	et	jim	hangs	prominently	on	the	wall	)	,	and	secrets	are	revealed	which	barrel	the	film	toward	an	uncompelling	weepy	finale	.	one	key	turning	point	in	the	film	is	the	kinky	sex	scene	between	blake	and	carla	.	two	girls	and	a	guy	was	embroiled	in	a	bitter	,	long	running	dispute	with	the	mpaa	with	regards	to	this	scene	contractually	obligated	to	deliver	an	r	rated	film	,	mr	.	toback	was	forced	to	resubmit	fourteen	scaled	down	versions	of	the	steamy	interlude	before	the	mpaa	withdrew	their	nc	17	rating	in	favour	of	an	r	and	while	admittedly	titillating	,	the	net	effect	of	the	vignette	on	the	film's	thematic	narrative	is	rather	dubious	.	if	anything	,	two	girls	and	a	guy	serves	as	a	showcase	for	the	phenomenal	talents	of	mr	.	downey	jr	.	,	whose	versatility	is	put	to	the	test	in	this	film	.	he	plays	the	gamut	from	indignant	to	humbled	,	from	self	assured	to	disconcerted	,	yet	his	acting	gears	shift	so	smoothly	as	to	not	be	registered	.	it's	a	wonderful	performance	in	a	role	custom	tailored	for	him	;	mr	.	toback	wrote	the	screenplay	in	four	days	shortly	after	mr	.	downey	jr	.	was	arrested	on	drug	charges	,	and	it's	hard	not	to	see	echoes	of	reality	seeping	into	his	character	in	a	monologue	to	his	mirrored	reflection	,	blake's	self	chiding	to	"	get	his	shit	together	"	is	disquieting	in	its	resonance	.	while	mr	.	downey	jr	.	's	showstopping	performance	is	undoubtedly	the	primary	strength	of	the	film	,	both	actresses	are	solid	in	more	broadly	observed	roles	.	ms	.	graham	is	quickly	becoming	one	of	america's	more	daring	actresses	,	involving	herself	in	three	successive	risky	projects	two	girls	and	a	guy	and	boogie	nights	are	both	quite	sexually	frank	,	while	lost	in	space	has	a	screenplay	penned	by	akiva	goldsman	.	she's	quite	appealing	here	,	playing	a	character	at	once	both	dainty	and	sultry	.	meanwhile	,	ms	.	gregson	wagner	initially	portrays	lou	with	such	an	unwarranted	spunk	that	audiences	are	likely	to	find	it	either	annoying	,	or	,	like	me	,	endearing	.	she	tones	it	down	substantially	as	the	film	progresses	,	but	i	found	her	more	fun	to	watch	as	the	artificially	excitable	chatterbox	.	the	film	was	reportedly	shot	in	eleven	days	,	filmed	mostly	in	sequence	,	and	the	resultant	artifacts	of	this	rapid	shoot	are	evident	throughout	.	two	girls	and	a	guy	has	an	agile	,	spontaneous	sort	of	feel	,	and	one	senses	that	mr	.	toback	encouraged	a	good	deal	of	improvisation	from	his	three	actors	.	while	the	film	could	be	transposed	directly	to	the	stage	more	or	less	intact	,	it	doesn't	feel	constricted	;	the	expansive	apartment	setting	is	well	used	to	vary	the	background	,	and	mr	.	toback	allows	his	camera	to	wander	and	linger	on	his	characters	in	an	effective	manner	.	two	girls	and	a	guy	falls	short	of	its	potential	,	but	thanks	to	some	stellar	work	by	mr	.	downey	jr	.	,	it's	still	often	an	enjoyable	,	bitingly	funny	romp	,	particularly	as	we	watch	the	surprisingly	resilient	blake	evasively	try	to	rationalize	his	behaviour	and	even	turn	the	tables	on	his	girlfriends	.	"	i'm	an	actor	,	"	he	tells	them	at	one	point	,	using	the	ol'	tried	and	tested	occupational	hazard	defense	.	"	actors	lie	.	"	but	not	,	they	all	seem	to	agree	,	denzel	washington	.
pos	directed	by	robert	de	niro	.	written	by	chazz	palminteri	(	based	on	his	play	)	.	running	time	:	122	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	language	and	scenes	containing	violence	)	.	a	bronx	tale	reminds	me	a	lot	of	goodfellas	.	it	stars	robert	de	niro	who	also	directed	.	it	also	has	a	cameo	by	joe	pesci	.	i	thought	i	even	saw	martin	scorsece	as	a	priest	at	a	confessional	.	i	began	to	think	that	this	movie	took	it's	style	and	grace	from	goodfellas	.	then	it	hit	me	that	it	reminded	me	of	goodfellas	because	a	bronx	tale	is	almost	as	great	.	lorenzo	(	robert	de	niro	)	is	a	working	man	.	he	has	a	city	job	as	a	bus	driver	and	makes	enough	to	let	his	wife	and	son	live	well	in	an	apartment	in	the	bronx	.	he	never	got	in	the	popular	gangster	business	that	ruled	the	area	.	the	apartment	he	lives	in	in	near	a	busy	bar	that	is	home	to	many	of	these	gangsters	.	he	tells	his	9	year	old	son	calogero	(	francis	capra	)	to	never	go	in	there	and	to	stay	on	his	stoop	in	front	of	the	complex	.	in	a	discussion	earlier	lorenzo	talked	to	his	son	about	talent	.	calogero	asks	him	who	was	the	best	baseball	player	of	all	time	.	lorenzo	tells	him	it	was	joey	d	(	imaggio	)	because	he	has	class	and	talent	.	calogero	asks	if	he	has	any	talent	.	lorenzo	says	that	he	has	all	the	talent	in	the	world	and	just	needs	to	use	it	wisely	.	calogero	witnesses	a	shooting	while	sitting	on	the	stoop	commited	by	the	local	main	gangster	sonny	(	chazz	palminteri	who	also	wrote	the	script	)	.	when	confronted	by	a	police	officer	who	is	shown	a	line	of	suspects	and	asked	who	shot	.	the	lineup	consists	of	some	of	the	workers	and	some	gansters	who	were	the	bar	.	sonny	is	in	the	lineup	.	calogero	walks	past	the	line	saying	that	none	of	the	men	commited	the	murder	.	lorenzo	takes	him	upstairs	to	get	him	ready	for	bed	.	calogero	asks	his	father	if	he	did	the	right	thing	.	lorenzo	says	"	you	did	a	very	good	thing	for	a	very	bad	man	.	"	cut	to	the	late	60s	.	calogero	(	now	nicknamed	c	by	sonny	and	played	by	lillo	brancato	)	now	is	17	years	old	and	one	of	sonny's	"	men	"	.	lorenzo	is	shocked	that	his	son	has	not	listened	to	anything	he	has	said	through	the	years	.	c	now	has	become	everything	lorenzo	hates	.	a	gangster	who	wants	his	money	the	second	he	asks	.	a	bronx	tale	is	actor	robert	de	niro	first	directed	film	.	he	does	a	great	job	directing	himself	and	others	.	some	of	the	scenes	such	as	a	fight	in	the	bar	are	very	nicely	edited	and	staged	to	music	that	sets	the	mood	.	palmenteri	also	does	a	great	job	as	sonny	and	is	both	frightening	and	fatherlike	in	the	same	instant	.	lillo	brancato	is	a	great	find	and	plays	his	part	very	well	.	he	is	a	charming	young	actor	who	i	hope	has	a	good	career	.	the	film	is	also	suprising	funny	.	it	is	probably	the	most	upbeat	ganster	picture	if	you	don't	count	jonny	dangerously	(	which	i	don't	)	.	there	is	a	great	scene	in	the	first	20	minutes	where	c	narrates	the	people	young	calogero	meets	in	the	bar	.	some	has	nicknames	like	coffeecake	(	the	look	of	that	man's	face	)	and	whispers	(	everything's	a	secret	to	him	)	.	the	film	ends	suddenly	and	makes	me	ask	for	more	.	it	is	noticably	very	short	considering	goodfellas	was	about	20	minutes	longer	.	still	a	bronx	tale	fills	it's	tight	2	hours	with	as	much	as	it	can	.	i	wanted	to	spend	more	time	finding	out	what	happens	to	c	.	i	doubt	a	sequel	will	be	made	but	i'd	still	like	to	know	.
pos	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	member	of	the	'online	film	critics	society'	a	href	"	http	:	smart	.	sbay	.	com	ofcs	"	http	:	smart	.	sbay	.	com	ofcs	a	if	you	look	up	the	term	'overkill'	in	the	dictionary	you	will	see	a	picture	of	movie	producer	jerry	bruckheimer	.	his	production	company	tries	to	top	itself	with	each	outing	and	'armageddon'	is	no	exception	.	for	a	movie	critic	and	in	many	ways	it's	the	same	for	the	general	public	at	large	,	the	film	doesn't	require	a	lot	of	thought	,	if	any	at	all	,	and	is	meant	to	be	a	big	budgeted	,	loud	,	extremely	edited	film	with	special	effects	that	look	like	they're	straight	out	of	a	comic	book	and	the	film's	gothic	design	of	a	giant	meteor	is	a	glimpse	straight	into	hell	.	one	thing	you	have	to	understand	in	seeing	a	film	like	this	(	and	it's	something	i've	said	over	and	over	again	and	i'll	always	say	it	)	is	that	it	is	beyond	the	realm	of	high	brow	criticism	and	deserves	to	be	put	in	the	category	of	happy	medium	.	if	you	criticize	the	film	too	harshly	,	you'll	look	like	a	snob	and	if	you	judge	it	too	well	,	you'll	look	like	a	fool	.	the	genre	of	action	films	should	be	given	a	new	category	,	that	of	'expected	action'	film	as	you	know	what	to	expect	as	soon	as	you	see	the	coming	attractions	.	'armageddon'	certainly	aims	to	please	and	has	more	edits	in	a	ten	second	span	than	any	other	film	i've	seen	and	corners	are	not	cut	in	the	special	effects	department	.	my	harshest	criticism	of	this	film	is	that	it	doesn't	require	any	big	name	stars	because	the	film	is	so	overwhelming	technically	that	the	biggest	movie	star	in	the	world	would	get	lost	in	the	mix	.	and	yet	,	the	big	names	are	there	.	as	the	film	opens	,	the	narration	is	conducted	by	charlton	heston	,	whose	biblical	past	in	films	seems	appropriate	here	as	he	describes	an	event	of	biblical	proportions	.	we	hear	how	a	description	of	a	meteor's	impact	65	million	years	ago	on	earth	comes	to	fruition	which	allegedly	wiped	out	the	dinosaurs	.	some	theories	i've	read	over	the	years	tend	to	favour	that	that	impact	is	now	the	grand	canyon	in	arizona	u	.	s	.	a	.	skip	forward	to	the	present	day	.	a	meteor	the	size	of	texas	is	on	a	collision	course	with	earth	and	the	only	way	to	destroy	it	seems	to	be	to	land	a	space	shuttle	on	it	with	a	group	of	core	drillers	that	will	grind	a	hole	in	it	,	drop	a	nuclear	explosive	in	it	and	break	it	up	so	that	the	concussion	that	follows	will	cause	the	remaining	particles	to	miss	our	planet	.	i'm	not	sure	that	this	would	necessarily	work	but	then	again	bad	science	is	always	a	factor	in	films	like	this	just	as	it	was	ludicrous	to	believe	that	will	smith	and	jeff	goldblum	could	fly	that	alien	space	craft	into	the	mother	ship	in	'independence	day'	and	upload	that	infamous	computer	virus	to	destroy	all	the	surrounding	ships	hovering	over	the	major	cities	of	the	world	.	dumb	?	sure	.	but	embracing	the	idea	of	suspension	of	disbelief	is	as	old	as	the	film	industry	itself	.	bruce	willis	stars	as	the	best	core	driller	in	the	world	.	he's	an	aspiring	oil	man	and	the	first	time	we	see	him	he's	chipping	golf	balls	from	his	off	shore	rig	at	a	greenpeace	boat	,	filled	with	protesters	who	duck	each	time	a	golf	ball	comes	their	way	and	clangs	off	a	beam	just	over	their	heads	as	willis	laughs	.	one	of	his	crew	(	ben	affleck	)	is	having	an	affair	with	his	daughter	(	liv	tyler	)	and	other	members	of	willis'	crew	(	will	patton	,	steve	buscemi	)	work	closely	as	his	best	friends	.	willis	is	called	in	by	a	nasa	chief	(	billy	bob	thornton	)	who	explains	the	impending	doom	and	asks	willis	to	apply	his	core	drilling	skills	and	destroy	the	rocky	menace	.	willis	agrees	only	if	he	can	have	his	own	men	brought	along	and	their	training	is	a	scene	straight	out	of	'the	right	stuff'	only	it	crosses	with	some	slapstick	and	looks	more	like	the	wrong	stuff	and	this	scene	is	aloof	.	in	reality	,	not	all	of	these	men	would	pass	the	training	course	to	cut	the	mustard	is	taking	a	trip	to	outer	space	and	this	plot	hole	is	about	the	silliest	the	film	has	to	offer	.	the	most	unusual	character	in	the	film	is	a	russian	cosmonaut	on	board	the	space	station	mir	played	by	peter	stormare	.	the	'fargo'	reunion	is	in	this	film	.	he	and	steve	buscemi	appeared	in	'fargo'	and	are	in	this	film	.	you	remember	stormare	as	the	thug	who	didn't	say	too	much	in	'fargo'	and	who	eventually	cuts	buscemi's	head	off	with	an	axe	and	stuffed	him	into	a	wood	chipper	.	stormare	even	sports	the	same	type	of	winter	hat	he	had	in	'fargo'	and	i'm	wondering	if	it's	an	in	joke	here	.	ditto	on	the	'pulp	fiction'	reunion	.	'pulp	fiction'	even	gets	mentioned	in	'armageddon'	by	one	of	the	cast	.	'armageddon'	has	bruce	willis	and	steve	buscemi	.	buscemi	plays	the	buddy	holly	waiter	in	'pulp	fiction'	.	the	other	giant	meteor	film	,	'deep	impact'	,	released	earlier	this	year	is	better	than	this	film	because	it	had	the	human	element	more	tightly	wound	around	it	plot	line	and	there	really	is	no	good	reason	why	'armageddon'	has	to	be	two	and	a	half	hours	long	.	there	are	too	many	silly	scenes	of	corny	dialogue	and	too	much	time	is	spent	at	the	site	of	the	meteor	which	doesn't	look	convincing	but	the	film's	saving	grace	is	its	eye	popping	special	effects	,	booming	sound	effects	and	clever	sets	which	tower	over	the	entire	production	.	director	michael	bay	(	'the	rock'	,	'bad	boys'	)	never	gives	the	audience	a	chance	to	breathe	and	a	bit	more	subtlety	would	have	been	nice	and	while	it	is	often	said	that	less	is	more	,	'armageddon'	is	still	good	to	look	at	and	a	treat	to	listen	to	and	while	the	film	comes	out	looking	exactly	the	way	the	film	makers	intended	it	to	,	it	can't	be	all	that	bad	but	it's	a	film	you'll	only	want	to	see	once	.
pos	"	when	it's	cold	,	molecules	aren't	moving	.	everything	is	clean	.	"	these	are	the	essential	words	of	mikey	carver	(	elijah	wood	)	,	a	young	teenage	boy	living	in	1973	new	canaan	,	connecticut	in	the	ice	storm	.	when	mikey	delivers	these	words	to	a	bored	science	class	,	it	is	unlikely	that	anyone	realizes	how	much	they	parallel	mikey's	life	and	the	lives	that	surround	him	.	his	father	jim	(	jamey	sheridan	)	is	rarely	seen	and	his	mother	janey	(	sigourney	weaver	)	is	having	an	affair	with	married	neighbor	ben	hood	(	kevin	kline	)	.	ben's	wife	elena	(	joan	allen	)	suspects	the	affair	,	but	doesn't	say	anything	.	meanwhile	,	ben's	14	year	old	daughter	wendy	(	christina	ricci	)	continuously	lures	mikey	and	his	younger	brother	sandy	(	adam	hann	byrd	)	into	sexual	explorations	.	tobey	maguire	plays	paul	hood	,	the	16	year	old	narrator	of	the	story	who	also	happens	to	be	the	least	prevalent	character	.	we	start	the	film	with	an	interesting	outlook	on	family	from	paul	.	he	compares	family	to	the	fantastic	four	comic	book	,	and	even	goes	so	far	as	to	say	that	family	is	everybody's	own	anti	matter	;	something	everybody	will	return	to	eventually	,	and	the	farther	you	go	,	the	deeper	you'll	return	.	the	ice	storm	is	a	character	piece	that	explores	a	dismal	time	both	in	america	,	and	in	the	individual	lives	portrayed	in	the	movie	.	everything	parallels	everything	else	.	the	young	teenagers	trying	to	discover	who	they	are	thru	drugs	,	sex	,	and	alcohol	is	really	almost	identical	to	the	parents	trying	to	figure	out	the	purpose	in	their	own	lives	using	the	same	methods	.	"	when	it's	cold	outside	,	the	molecules	aren't	moving	.	everything	is	clean	.	"	everything	is	clean	because	nobody	will	admit	what's	going	on	.	even	the	president	is	on	tv	denying	his	wrong	doings	.	how	can	you	expect	anything	more	out	of	a	couple	of	suburban	families	riding	the	coattails	of	sexual	revolution	?	all	the	sex	and	drugs	is	so	obviously	empty	,	and	i	think	that's	the	point	of	the	film	.	at	first	viewing	,	the	entire	movie	might	seem	empty	,	but	then	why	shouldn't	it	parallel	itself	?	you	don't	get	to	know	the	characters	very	deeply	,	but	i	think	that's	because	nobody	in	the	movie	knows	each	other	either	.	we	sadly	watch	two	families	go	about	their	lives	nearly	oblivious	to	one	another	.	at	first	glance	,	you	might	think	emotion	is	lost	in	the	ending	scenes	because	you	haven't	gotten	to	know	the	characters	well	enough	to	sympathize	then	you	realize	that	just	might	be	the	point	,	and	then	you	do	feel	the	pain	.	the	acting	by	all	is	quite	good	,	but	i	particularly	liked	elijah	wood	.	he	doesn't	seem	to	be	receiving	as	much	recognition	as	the	others	,	but	i	still	found	him	to	possess	quite	a	real	sense	of	being	.	christina	ricci	is	being	acclaimed	for	her	part	as	the	misguided	teenage	temptress	who	looks	for	something	more	to	her	life	in	the	pants	of	every	available	boy	.	still	,	i	say	hats	off	remain	to	wood	,	joan	allen's	subtle	but	believable	performance	as	a	lonely	,	unappreciated	wife	,	and	the	always	excellent	kevin	kline	.	tobey	maguire	did	a	fine	job	,	but	his	character	which	,	perhaps	,	was	the	most	intact	,	sensible	person	in	the	story	,	seemed	a	little	lost	.	he	was	needed	,	but	perhaps	he	should've	been	used	more	.	the	ice	storm	is	being	hailed	by	many	as	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	year	.	i	hate	to	say	that	i	don't	agree	,	but	i	don't	.	in	fact	,	i	can	think	of	many	other	films	that	i	would	rank	higher	than	this	one	.	even	so	,	it	is	a	very	good	film	.	it	takes	a	lot	of	retrospect	to	fully	appreciate	it's	art	,	but	when	you	finally	start	seeing	things	in	it	that	you	didn't	before	,	you	start	to	grow	even	fonder	of	the	characters	and	the	story	.	perhaps	this	is	one	to	see	,	ponder	,	and	then	watch	again	with	different	eyes	.
pos	cast	:	geena	davis	,	hugh	laurie	,	jonathan	lipnicki	,	jeffrey	jones	,	brian	doyle	murray	,	estelle	getty	,	julia	sweeney	,	dabney	coleman	,	allyce	beasley	,	harold	gould	,	jon	polito	,	jim	doughan	featuring	the	voices	of	:	michael	j	.	fox	,	nathan	lane	,	chazz	palminteri	,	steve	zahn	,	jim	doughan	,	david	alan	grier	,	bruno	kirby	,	jennifer	tilly	written	by	:	m	.	night	shyamalan	and	greg	brooker	directed	by	:	rob	minkoff	running	time	:	85	minutes	george	little	(	jonathan	lipnicki	)	wants	a	little	brother	.	after	mr	.	and	mrs	.	little	(	hugh	laurie	and	geena	davis	)	visit	the	orphange	,	they	decide	to	adopt	stuart	,	a	talking	mouse	(	voiced	by	michael	j	.	fox	)	.	george	isn't	so	fond	of	his	new	brother	when	stuart	arrives	at	the	little	house	,	and	neither	is	snowbell	the	family	cat	(	voiced	by	nathan	lane	)	.	george	and	stuart	eventually	bond	while	preparing	for	a	remote	control	boat	race	,	but	snowbell	wants	stuart	out	of	the	house	(	he's	unable	to	live	with	the	taunts	of	other	neighborhood	felines	saying	it's	ridiculous	that	a	mouse	has	a	pet	cat	)	.	stuart	little	is	a	mix	of	live	action	and	computer	generated	imagery	(	cgi	)	.	the	character	of	stuart	,	while	obviously	a	computer	generated	image	,	grows	on	you	as	the	film	progresses	and	you'll	soon	see	him	as	much	more	than	a	mere	special	effect	.	there	is	also	a	great	deal	of	animal	training	involved	with	this	film	,	as	many	of	the	"	supporting	cast	"	are	actual	cats	(	with	computer	animated	mouths	so	they	can	speak	)	.	it's	fascinating	to	watch	these	cats	give	performances	without	an	actual	mouse	to	interact	with	.	stuart	little	is	a	charming	family	film	.	there	are	some	great	laughs	in	the	movie	(	with	a	script	co	written	by	the	sixth	sense's	m	.	night	shyamalan	no	less	!	)	,	some	moments	that	can	only	be	described	as	"	too	cute	"	(	the	boat	race	sequence	is	what	won	me	over	)	and	even	the	majority	of	the	one	liners	(	common	nowadays	in	children's	films	or	films	featuring	nathan	lane	)	are	tolerable	.	kids	and	parents	will	love	this	one	.	stuart	little	is	available	on	dvd	from	columbia	tristar	home	video	.	there	are	two	different	dvds	on	sale	:	one	contains	the	film	in	full	frame	,	and	the	other	presents	the	film	in	its	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	66	:	1	.	both	versions	feature	choices	of	either	dolby	surround	or	dolby	digital	5	.	1	audio	.	both	versions	also	contain	the	following	extras	(	and	hang	in	there	with	me	here	.	.	.	there's	a	lot	of	them	)	:	a	full	length	audio	commentary	track	by	director	rob	minkoff	and	animation	supervisor	henry	anderson	,	a	full	length	audio	commentary	track	by	the	visual	effects	supervisors	,	an	isolated	score	track	,	an	interactive	trivia	game	,	an	interactive	featurette	that	goes	step	by	step	through	eight	of	the	effects	in	the	film	,	a	making	of	documentary	that	originally	aried	on	hbo	,	and	a	stuart	little	read	along	story	(	which	you	can	read	yourself	or	have	stuart	read	for	you	)	.	there	are	also	three	music	videos	,	and	six	theatrical	trailers	(	called	thecatrical	trailers	.	.	.	get	it	?	it's	funny	!	)	for	stuart	little	and	five	other	columbia	tristar	releases	:	the	adventures	of	elmo	in	grouchland	,	madeline	,	the	nuttiest	nutcracker	,	muppets	from	space	,	and	baby	geniuses	(	the	only	bad	thing	about	this	entire	dvd	.	.	.	i	did	not	want	to	be	reminded	of	the	awfulness	that	is	baby	geniuses	)	.	dvd	rom	features	are	also	on	the	disc	,	including	web	links	and	a	demo	of	the	stuart	little	cd	rom	game	.	but	wait	.	.	.	there's	still	more	!	there's	a	section	called	"	basement	treasures	"	where	you	will	find	the	auditions	of	the	film's	animators	,	six	deleted	scenes	which	you	can	select	to	view	with	or	without	commentary	from	the	director	,	a	visual	effects	gag	reel	,	a	production	gag	reel	,	and	an	incredible	eight	minute	storyboard	sequence	detailing	the	original	concept	for	the	boat	race	scene	(	with	commentary	from	the	director	)	.	the	first	commentary	track	features	director	rob	minkoff	and	animation	supervisor	henry	anderson	.	they	give	insightful	and	detailed	thoughts	about	the	film's	production	.	minkoff	likes	to	point	out	scenes	where	other	screenwriters	came	in	and	polished	up	the	script	,	namely	writers	like	scott	alexander	and	larry	karaszewski	(	who	wrote	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	and	ed	wood	)	and	lowell	ganz	and	babaloo	mandel	(	who	wrote	splash	and	multiplicity	,	among	others	)	.	anderson	is	very	appreciative	of	the	animators	who	worked	with	him	and	often	points	out	which	animator	worked	on	each	scene	as	they	occur	.	the	second	commentary	track	features	visual	effects	supervisors	john	dykstra	and	jerome	chen	who	discuss	more	specific	details	of	the	effects	in	the	film	.	movie	fans	will	enjoy	the	informative	first	commentary	track	,	serious	animation	buffs	will	love	the	second	one	.	now	i	know	this	is	slightly	off	topic	,	but	it	is	related	specifically	to	this	dvd	so	i	must	voice	this	now	.	one	of	the	music	videos	on	the	disc	is	for	a	song	called	"	i	need	to	know	"	by	a	group	called	r	angels	.	this	video	features	four	mid	teenage	girls	(	the	singers	obviously	)	having	a	slumber	party	.	the	girls	ask	a	ouija	board	"	i	need	to	know	.	.	.	who	to	do	,	who	to	do	,	who	to	do	"	as	the	song	begins	.	they	then	sneak	out	of	their	house	,	and	along	the	way	they	strike	a	pose	and	their	slumber	party	pajamas	are	magically	transformed	into	middle	class	streetwalker	outfits	.	then	they	head	to	a	party	and	dance	suggestively	with	the	guys	while	singing	lyrics	like	"	i'll	be	your	pleasure	all	the	time	.	.	.	just	say	the	words	that	you'll	be	mine	"	.	um	.	.	.	what	the	hell	?	what	does	this	have	to	do	with	stuart	little	?	how	is	this	in	any	way	a	song	suitable	for	a	kids	movie	,	let	alone	a	video	suitable	for	a	kids	movie	on	dvd	?	when	the	video	concludes	,	the	words	"	to	be	continued	"	appear	.	oh	i	can't	wait	to	see	who	they've	slept	with	when	the	toy	story	2	dvd	comes	out	.	kids	won't	care	about	most	of	the	special	features	on	this	dvd	,	but	those	of	us	who	can	sometimes	be	turned	into	a	"	kid	at	heart	"	thanks	to	a	winning	family	film	sure	appreciate	them	.	this	is	the	way	to	do	dvd	,	a	good	movie	loaded	with	great	features	at	a	reasonable	cost	.	the	di	ney	people	could	learn	a	lot	from	columbia	tristar	.	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	starring	phillip	baker	hall	,	melora	walters	,	john	c	.	reilly	,	melinda	dillon	,	philip	seymour	hoffman	,	jason	robards	,	tom	cruise	,	julianne	moore	,	jeremy	blackman	,	michael	bowen	,	william	h	.	macy	,	ricky	jay	,	henry	gibson	,	felicity	huffman	,	and	luis	guzman	.	the	film	"	magnolia	"	can	be	compared	to	a	simple	flower	as	its	title	and	movie	poster	suggests	.	the	dozens	of	characters	introduced	and	developed	are	like	the	petals	on	the	flower	.	they	all	come	from	the	same	stem	and	as	the	flower	begins	to	develop	they	grow	farther	and	farther	apart	.	the	numerous	characters	in	the	film	are	all	closely	connected	no	matter	how	different	they	are	from	one	another	socially	.	from	a	humiliated	but	kind	cop	to	an	aging	game	show	host	,	each	one	of	these	characters	is	suffering	the	same	kind	of	pain	.	they	are	each	seriously	lonely	and	seek	the	perfect	companion	to	end	this	loneliness	.	whether	this	companion	is	a	distant	family	member	or	a	spouse	,	each	character	begs	for	one	and	spends	the	whole	film	searching	for	the	perfect	one	.	"	magnolia	"	is	a	clever	,	well	thought	out	film	from	prodigy	director	writer	paul	thomas	anderson	of	"	boogie	nights	"	fame	.	the	detailed	character	analyses	and	the	powerful	script	make	"	magnolia	"	memorable	.	however	,	what	really	is	impressive	is	that	even	though	there	are	tons	of	characters	in	several	unrelated	stories	,	the	film	is	never	confusing	.	anderson's	control	over	transitioning	from	one	story	to	another	story	is	masterful	.	he	also	knows	exactly	when	to	cut	to	another	subplot	since	not	one	of	"	magnolia's	"	scenes	drag	on	too	long	.	any	three	hour	film	that	does	not	deliver	even	one	uninteresting	scene	is	definitely	worth	recommending	.	from	the	fascinating	beginning	to	the	risky	yet	surprisingly	satisfying	ending	the	film	just	doesn't	get	boring	.	it	is	obvious	that	anderson	put	a	lot	of	time	into	connecting	each	subplot	.	this	is	the	ultimate	game	of	six	degrees	of	separation	.	every	character	is	connected	to	every	other	character	by	at	the	most	two	degrees	.	for	example	,	cop	john	c	.	reilly	is	connected	to	game	show	host	phillip	baker	hall	through	hall's	daughter	melora	walters	who	once	went	on	a	date	with	reilly	.	the	fact	that	each	character	is	so	different	from	the	others	yet	so	similar	shows	that	there	are	universal	pains	that	all	classes	,	races	,	and	genders	suffer	.	anderson's	explanation	to	prove	this	point	is	both	accurate	and	convincing	.	the	only	mistake	anderson	made	in	trying	to	connect	his	characters	was	by	making	his	actors	all	sing	an	aimee	mann	song	simultaneously	.	this	was	foolish	not	only	because	it	was	unbelievable	and	hilariously	erroneous	but	also	because	it	had	a	broadway	musical	feel	to	it	and	this	movie	is	about	as	far	apart	from	your	typical	broadway	musical	than	you	can	get	.	the	performances	in	"	magnolia	"	are	perfection	.	this	is	a	classic	example	of	flawless	casting	and	flawless	ensemble	acting	.	anderson	allows	many	of	hollywood's	best	supporting	actors	to	blossom	at	what	they	do	best	,	character	acting	.	all	of	the	main	characters	in	each	story	are	perfect	because	they	are	able	to	reveal	more	emotions	and	attitudes	in	their	brief	time	on	the	screen	then	most	movie	stars	can	do	in	a	feature	length	film	.	worth	noting	is	tom	cruise	,	who	stepped	out	of	his	usual	superficial	starring	role	and	into	a	funny	but	depressing	tour	de	force	performance	.	he	was	probably	noticed	more	than	the	other	actors	in	the	film	by	award	givers	because	his	role	here	is	so	much	different	and	impressive	than	those	in	the	past	(	however	any	actor	in	this	film	could	be	nominated	for	best	supporting	actor	without	any	complaints	)	the	only	problem	i	had	with	the	acting	was	that	a	few	of	the	characters	felt	seriously	edited	down	such	as	melinda	dillon's	character	as	phillip	baker	hall's	wife	.	she	seemed	to	be	thrown	in	towards	the	end	and	i	felt	very	little	sympathy	for	her	because	i	had	not	seen	her	enough	earlier	in	the	film	.	"	magnolia	"	uses	several	effective	metaphors	to	describe	its	characters	.	anderson	has	the	talent	to	make	the	audience	sympathetic	towards	numerous	people	in	only	a	few	hours	.	to	see	that	anderson	is	able	to	perfectly	portray	this	many	different	types	of	people	shows	that	he	has	a	keen	sense	of	diversity	.	diversity	is	what	makes	a	director	successful	for	a	long	period	of	time	.	i	predict	a	lot	of	diversity	and	success	from	anderson	in	the	future	.
pos	reviewed	by	harvey	karten	,	ph	.	d	.	touchstone	pictures	director	:	robert	redford	writer	:	eric	roth	,	richard	la	gravenese	,	novel	by	nicholas	evans	cast	:	robert	redford	,	kristin	scott	thomas	,	sam	neill	,	dianne	wiest	,	scarlett	johansson	,	chris	cooper	in	his	fluffy	play	"	california	suite	,	"	neil	simon's	tense	,	chain	smoking	new	york	magazine	writer	visits	her	laid	back	ex	husband	in	southern	california	.	he	,	bill	warren	,	cannot	understand	why	his	ex	continues	to	live	in	the	fast	paced	big	city	while	she	,	hannah	warren	,	is	appalled	by	what	she	considers	bill's	sloth	.	their	mutual	incomprehension	continues	long	after	their	marriage	has	dissolved	.	the	writer	does	not	take	sides	,	but	rather	implies	that	while	there's	no	place	like	home	,	human	beings	must	decide	for	themselves	where	they	prefer	to	be	.	robert	redford	,	on	the	other	hand	,	does	take	a	stand	in	the	conflict	between	city	mouse	and	country	mouse	.	the	celebrated	actor	,	who	surpassed	paul	newman	as	the	country's	most	popular	performer	during	the	1970s	,	maintains	a	home	in	manhattan	but	spends	most	of	his	time	on	his	vast	properties	in	utah	.	his	inclination	is	with	the	open	spaces	,	or	so	you'll	have	to	believe	if	you	accept	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	as	his	adulation	of	the	american	west	.	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	is	filmed	primarily	in	montana	,	where	the	grass	grows	tall	and	for	some	is	greener	on	the	other	side	.	for	others	,	less	jaded	,	this	turf	is	the	color	of	the	finest	emerald	.	the	movie	,	which	stars	robert	redford	(	who	also	directed	and	co	produced	the	story	from	a	best	selling	novel	by	the	english	writer	nicholas	evans	)	,	deals	with	a	woman	who	edits	a	slick	,	urban	magazine	,	is	vaguely	dissatisfied	with	her	marriage	to	a	good	man	,	and	who	finds	passion	and	meaning	among	people	who	live	in	a	different	world	.	annie	maclean	(	kristin	scott	thomas	)	lives	with	her	lawyer	husband	robert	(	sam	neill	)	and	their	14	year	old	daughter	grace	(	scarlett	johansson	)	.	on	one	snowy	day	in	their	upstate	new	york	country	home	,	young	grace	goes	for	a	ride	with	her	friend	on	her	beloved	horse	pilgrim	.	a	freak	accident	throws	her	friend	from	her	horse	where	she	is	pulled	along	the	ground	.	grace's	attempt	to	rescue	her	pal	puts	both	in	the	path	of	a	skidding	18	wheeler	,	killing	her	friend	,	injuring	pilgrim	severely	,	and	causing	grace	to	lose	part	of	her	right	leg	.	annie	must	now	cope	with	a	teenager	who	is	plunged	into	depression	and	a	badly	damaged	horse	which	has	become	so	traumatized	that	he	turns	feral	.	the	scenario	brings	to	mind	a	news	event	which	broke	just	two	weeks	before	the	opening	of	the	picture	.	.	.	nolensville	,	tenn	.	(	ap	may	5	)	an	enraged	horse	known	for	being	unruly	kicked	a	man	to	death	.	sheriff's	sgt	.	robert	dillon	said	tuesday	that	billy	camron	,	believed	to	be	64	,	suffered	severe	injuries	to	his	head	,	back	and	other	parts	of	his	body	and	also	had	several	bite	marks	.	dillon	quoted	camron's	son	as	saying	"	it	was	just	a	mean	horse	.	"	deputies	said	they	found	the	horse	running	"	rampant	in	the	field	"	when	they	arrived	monday	night	.	the	son	authorized	the	horse	to	be	killed	.	pilgrim	,	however	,	had	never	been	a	mean	horse	and	had	,	in	fact	,	tried	to	protect	his	rider	from	injury	.	wounds	inflicted	on	him	had	turned	him	into	a	untamed	beast	,	and	annie	rejects	the	advice	of	her	vet	(	cherry	jones	)	to	"	put	him	down	"	seeking	out	a	horse	whisperer	to	restore	his	sanity	.	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	encompasses	two	epic	stories	during	its	ample	,	164	minute	span	.	on	one	level	,	the	picture	deals	with	the	attempts	of	the	title	character	,	tom	booker	(	robert	redford	)	to	administer	to	a	psychotic	animal	using	a	technique	unknown	in	the	east	and	,	in	fact	,	even	in	his	own	country	.	as	booker	puts	it	,	he	does	not	treat	people	with	a	horse	problem	;	he	handles	horses	with	people	difficulties	.	on	another	plane	,	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	is	a	romance	involving	a	slowly	growing	relationship	between	a	gentle	rancher	who	has	not	felt	the	pangs	of	love	since	he	split	up	with	his	wife	,	and	an	edgy	,	urban	sophisticate	who	had	not	realized	she	could	respond	in	a	vigorous	way	to	a	man	.	the	heady	effect	of	the	plains	spirit	works	its	mysteries	on	young	grace	as	well	,	who	is	lifted	from	her	grand	funk	under	the	influence	of	the	sensitive	horseman	and	the	kindness	of	the	extended	family	of	ranchers	she	has	grown	to	respect	.	redford	seems	to	have	chosen	the	subject	to	venerate	a	way	of	life	which	is	fading	under	the	sway	of	the	large	corporations	:	the	spirit	of	the	independent	cowboys	who	appear	so	remote	from	the	attractions	of	the	big	city	that	they	might	be	living	on	mars	.	they	are	contrasted	with	what	passes	for	civilization	by	some	clever	,	homespun	dialogue	.	told	that	a	new	york	woman	has	come	to	spend	time	in	montana	,	frank	booker	(	chris	cooper	)	,	tom's	brother	,	suggests	"	mixed	salads	.	.	.	new	york	women	like	mixed	salads	"	as	he	and	his	family	dig	into	their	robust	dinner	of	meat	,	mashed	potatoes	and	thickly	buttered	bread	.	the	bookers	seem	to	amaze	grace	and	annie	momentarily	when	they	recite	a	quiet	prayer	just	before	digging	into	their	spread	,	though	frank's	down	home	wife	diane	(	dianne	wiest	)	,	not	wholly	satisfied	by	her	life	,	wistfully	suggests	that	she	would	like	to	travel	to	morocco	.	yet	another	jarring	difference	between	montana	and	manhattan	emerges	when	annie's	cell	phone	goes	off	,	alarming	the	horse	whom	tom	is	struggling	to	tame	.	a	city	dweller	could	scarcely	imagine	tom's	patience	when	in	one	incident	,	as	pilgrim	runs	away	from	his	corral	,	the	horse	is	captivated	by	the	patient	tom	who	simply	sits	on	the	grass	and	stares	at	the	animal	for	hours	as	if	to	say	"	it's	your	decision	.	"	you	come	away	from	the	movie	with	a	more	visceral	understanding	of	why	kevin	bacon	and	peter	fonda	spend	most	of	their	time	on	their	montana	ranches	and	why	redford	would	choose	to	live	in	utah	,	spending	only	a	fraction	of	his	year	in	new	york	.	redford's	is	a	west	of	marlboro	men	who	don't	smoke	,	rough	and	tumble	cowpokes	who	don't	curse	,	and	squeaky	clean	kids	who	say	"	ma'am	"	and	"	thank	you	"	and	are	genuinely	involved	in	the	chores	on	their	ranch	.	in	short	it's	about	home	,	perhaps	the	most	important	word	in	the	english	language	.	in	redford's	terms	happiness	belongs	to	those	who	have	found	it	.	scarlett	johansson	provides	us	with	a	believable	performance	of	a	fun	loving	girl	who	,	like	her	cherished	equine	,	turns	bratty	from	a	serious	injury	but	who	has	become	wholly	rehabilitated	under	the	guidance	of	a	considerate	man	.	kristin	scott	thomas	effectively	bares	her	conflict	between	a	devotion	to	her	dependable	and	loving	husband	and	her	passion	for	a	westerner	who	is	firmly	rooted	to	his	place	and	its	history	.	robert	redford	continues	to	amaze	.	this	sixty	year	old	,	impossibly	handsome	actor	will	probably	continue	playing	square	jawed	,	sky	eyed	,	lonely	heroes	well	into	his	eighties	,	and	we	don't	wonder	that	after	seeing	the	movie	"	indecent	proposal	,	"	a	young	man	in	the	audience	who	said	to	his	date	:	"	would	you	sleep	with	him	for	a	million	dollars	?	"	gets	the	reply	from	the	sweet	young	thing	,	"	sure	:	but	you'll	have	to	give	me	some	time	to	raise	the	money	.	"	rated	pg	13	.	running	time	:	164	minutes	.	(	c	)	harvey	karten	1998
pos	writer	:	scott	b	.	smith	(	based	on	his	novel	)	starring	:	bill	paxton	,	billy	bob	thornton	,	bridget	fonda	,	brent	briscoe	,	chelcie	ross	,	becky	ann	baker	,	jack	walsh	,	gary	cole	it's	been	a	good	long	while	since	we	had	a	good	old	fashioned	thriller	,	where	mostly	everything	goes	right	for	the	audience	and	wrong	for	the	characters	,	but	it's	been	even	longer	since	i	saw	a	thriller	that	actually	shock	cared	for	the	characters	,	not	merely	judged	them	but	actually	allowed	their	human	foibles	,	flaws	,	and	strengths	to	emerge	so	radiantly	.	i'd	saw	that	it's	been	at	least	a	couple	decades	,	even	as	far	back	to	the	great	hitchcock	thrillers	,	though	i'm	hardly	comparing	"	a	simple	plan	"	to	,	say	,	"	rear	window	"	or	"	strangers	on	a	train	.	"	yet	it's	almost	as	good	.	it's	simple	,	yet	strangely	complex	,	and	astonishingly	rewarding	,	because	instead	of	moving	from	plot	point	to	plot	point	,	and	merely	laying	out	they	might	be	caught	overtones	,	it	instead	concerns	itself	with	the	moral	corruption	and	depths	of	greed	that	its	protagonists	can	go	to	,	all	without	ever	judging	them	as	either	evil	or	even	immoral	.	elegantly	directed	by	sam	raimi	(	yes	,	the	same	)	,	"	a	simple	plan	"	concerns	itself	with	the	discovery	of	a	crashed	plane	and	within	a	bag	full	of	millions	of	dollars	by	an	upright	,	moderately	financially	stable	working	man	(	bill	paxton	)	,	his	dim	witted	brother	(	billy	bob	thornton	)	,	and	his	drinking	buddy	(	brent	briscoe	)	.	without	anyone	around	,	and	the	possibility	that	no	one	would	come	looking	for	it	,	the	three	debate	and	debate	but	finally	reach	the	decision	that	yes	,	they	will	keep	it	,	but	until	any	authorities	or	possible	owners	of	the	cash	come	looking	,	and	so	they	generally	don't	flaunt	anything	they	don't	want	to	flaunt	,	they'll	keep	it	stored	away	in	the	custody	of	paxton	.	the	possibilites	of	this	circumstance	are	much	diverse	:	a	)	they	could	endlessly	play	cat	and	mouse	with	the	authorities	;	b	)	they	could	try	to	fight	off	the	rightful	owners	,	who	are	either	villainous	or	just	;	or	c	)	they	could	fight	amongst	themselves	.	"	a	simple	plan	,	"	though	borrows	a	little	from	each	of	these	.	a	little	tiff	with	the	cops	here	,	a	subplot	involving	an	alleged	fbi	agent	(	a	chilling	gary	cole	)	there	)	,	and	a	bit	of	inside	feuding	over	here	.	but	,	as	austin	powers	would	say	,	that's	not	necessarily	its	bag	(	baby	)	.	what	i	most	admired	about	this	film	,	and	what	makes	this	a	far	superior	and	unique	thriller	is	that	it's	successfully	able	to	have	its	cake	and	eat	it	too	.	it	effectively	involves	some	of	the	traditional	thriller	cliches	,	like	the	ones	mentioned	above	,	but	at	the	same	time	,	it	involves	itself	more	deeply	with	the	way	the	characters	become	morally	corrupt	and	what	price	they	have	to	pay	to	have	what	they	think	is	happiness	in	a	black	duffle	bag	.	so	while	steps	are	taken	to	neatly	cover	things	up	,	and	these	subsequent	steps	go	miserably	awry	,	the	film	choses	to	never	loose	the	sight	that	in	covering	things	up	to	the	extent	that	these	characters	have	to	,	they	are	slowly	losing	their	souls	and	their	humanity	.	in	one	early	scene	,	paxton	and	thornton	have	to	make	a	trip	back	to	the	plane	to	return	some	of	the	money	so	it	doesn't	look	like	it	was	all	stolen	(	not	a	bad	idea	)	,	when	thornton	screws	up	(	as	he	does	continuously	throughout	the	movie	)	,	and	paxton	has	to	do	some	major	covering	up	(	read	:	homicide	)	.	instead	of	a	quick	murder	and	immeadiate	hands	washing	,	raimi	shows	a	lengthy	,	painful	shot	from	a	low	angle	onto	paxton's	face	as	he	tries	to	sift	through	his	emotions	and	reach	a	conclusion	.	there's	a	similar	shot	afterwards	of	paxton	watching	the	murder	he's	committing	and	taking	in	all	the	horror	which	is	also	wonderfully	effective	,	but	the	previous	shot	is	even	better	:	more	morally	complex	and	more	gut	wrenching	.	in	short	,	probably	the	best	piece	of	direction	raimi's	ever	done	,	demonstrating	once	again	that	sometimes	the	simplest	way	to	do	something	yields	the	best	results	(	for	further	proof	,	watch	"	persona	"	's	"	sex	scene	"	and	witness	what	may	be	the	best	scene	ingmar	bergman's	ever	done	)	.	but	the	film	hardly	stops	here	;	it	follows	completely	through	and	rarely	loses	sight	of	its	characters	humanity	and	the	depletion	thereof	.	yet	it	also	moves	from	step	to	step	in	such	a	graceful	method	that	we	never	feel	like	the	film	is	merely	stamping	out	the	plot	points	of	the	story	.	when	the	time	comes	for	paxton	to	start	becoming	selfish	and	thus	diabolical	(	with	aid	from	his	pregnant	wife	,	played	by	bridget	fonda	,	a	pal	to	raimi	)	,	he	does	,	and	soon	the	horror	of	the	situation	is	escalating	to	tragic	heights	.	there's	at	least	two	grand	shootouts	,	and	at	least	one	of	them	may	be	one	of	the	greatest	shootouts	in	cinema	history	,	and	when	they	arrive	,	they	don't	come	with	masochistic	delight	but	with	cringe	inducing	horror	.	during	the	one	,	i	was	actually	sinking	into	my	chair	,	with	the	mantra	"	they	can't	do	this	,	can	they	?	"	streeming	through	my	head	.	in	fact	,	this	film	,	which	is	getting	many	comparisons	to	the	coen's	superior	,	but	forget	about	it	"	fargo	,	"	has	many	similar	moments	of	manic	insanity	,	attributed	to	the	major	amount	of	subtlety	and	restraint	with	which	the	directors	direct	what	,	in	other	hands	,	would	be	over	the	top	distractedness	(	imagine	,	i	suppose	,	robert	rodriguez	directing	this	.	.	.	then	again	,	after	seeing	the	"	evil	dead	"	films	,	i'd	hardly	assume	raimi	would	be	able	to	pull	something	like	this	off	,	although	there	are	moments	of	the	film	which	are	easily	dubbed	"	raimi	"	moments	,	a	rifle	shot	notwithstanding	)	.	instead	,	raimi	directs	with	maturity	and	a	gentle	touch	,	easily	letting	the	story	and	characters	co	exist	,	while	still	letting	some	of	the	more	traditional	raimi	elements	come	out	,	like	some	offbeat	comic	touches	.	most	particularly	,	billy	bob	thornton's	character	,	jacob	,	is	a	brilliant	creation	.	his	dim	wittedness	is	often	hilarious	(	for	most	of	the	film	,	every	line	he	uttered	was	greeted	with	howling	laughter	)	,	but	there's	authenticity	to	the	performance	that	strangely	enough	makes	sure	that	we're	not	totally	laughing	at	him	.	the	chuckles	he	gets	are	not	necessarily	ones	of	full	condescension	because	thornton	is	so	damn	real	.	jacob's	a	multi	dimensional	character	,	and	while	being	stupid	,	we	see	that	as	not	so	much	a	flaw	,	but	a	strength	to	his	character	:	his	simplicity	is	endearing	and	many	of	the	acts	he	commits	are	out	of	a	strong	inner	strength	and	belief	system	,	primarily	towards	the	middle	where	his	bud	and	co	conspirator	begins	to	make	some	heavy	waves	concerning	the	money	.	the	final	third	of	the	film	spends	much	time	with	him	,	and	many	of	the	touches	upon	his	character	,	not	only	by	thornton	but	also	by	screenwriter	scott	b	.	smith	(	adapting	his	own	book	,	by	the	way	)	are	just	great	.	i	particularly	admired	a	back	story	about	an	old	high	school	girlfriend	,	told	by	thornton	with	such	sincerity	and	acception	that	the	cruel	story	is	reversed	to	near	sweetness	and	further	strength	of	his	saddened	character	.	thornton	is	absolutely	brilliant	in	this	performance	,	by	far	the	best	performance	he's	ever	given	and	further	proof	that	he's	the	best	character	actor	in	contemporary	cinema	(	if	you	don't	believe	me	,	go	back	and	watch	his	wonderful	performance	in	"	primary	colors	,	"	a	performance	that	would	have	been	nominated	for	an	oscar	if	this	hadn't	been	in	the	same	year	)	because	he's	easily	able	to	slip	into	a	character	,	and	make	him	completely	and	utterly	believable	.	he	brings	so	much	weight	to	the	film	that	,	as	it	is	with	most	character	actors	,	it's	difficult	picturing	anyone	else	in	the	role	.	the	rest	of	the	cast	is	great	too	,	from	paxton's	declining	working	man	to	chelcie	ross'	amiable	town	sheriff	.	even	fonda	shows	off	her	talents	nicely	.	and	if	i	had	any	complaints	about	the	film	,	it's	that	the	plot	is	almost	too	simplistic	,	and	that	at	times	,	it	seems	too	much	like	an	exercise	,	like	a	cruel	test	on	humanity	that	still	pays	attention	to	the	humanity	involved	.	and	the	occasional	narration	is	,	as	it	usually	is	,	annoying	(	narration	should	be	used	with	extreme	caution	,	especially	when	you're	trying	to	set	things	up	and	or	express	emotions	didn't	raimi	watch	the	first	murder	scene	?	)	.	and	,	the	thing	that	can	most	usually	go	wrong	with	a	movie	,	the	ending	is	basically	amiss	.	i	won't	reveal	it	,	but	it's	way	too	cruel	and	too	much	of	an	outsider	set	up	,	as	if	the	appearance	of	a	plane	wasn't	already	too	much	of	that	anyway	.	for	a	film	that	deals	so	much	and	so	intimately	with	the	humanity	of	the	characters	involved	,	this	is	the	wrong	ending	.	imagine	a	character	controlled	ending	;	otherwise	,	it's	like	if	in	"	crime	and	punishment	"	if	the	police	had	caught	him	instead	of	him	breaking	down	and	confessing	.	.	.	not	that	i'm	at	all	comparing	"	a	simple	plan	"	to	dostoevsky	.	the	ending	does	work	,	despite	my	protestations	,	but	to	me	,	there	was	something	incessantly	nagging	and	unsatisfying	about	it	;	but	if	you	had	no	qualms	and	were	happy	as	a	clam	with	it	,	then	just	ignore	me	and	go	about	your	day	.	but	despite	my	mere	claims	,	make	no	mistake	that	i	was	completely	and	utterly	edge	of	my	seat	throughout	,	and	even	sometimes	curdling	up	by	the	situations	that	occured	,	not	because	of	any	kind	of	gore	factor	(	which	is	,	thankfully	for	this	,	very	minimal	)	,	but	because	the	film	places	its	characters	in	situations	and	gives	them	such	painful	things	to	overcome	that	i've	frankly	not	seen	much	like	it	in	quite	awhile	.	at	least	not	since	the	previous	worthy	hitchcockian	masterpiece	.
pos	you've	got	mail	works	alot	better	than	it	deserves	to	.	in	order	to	make	the	film	a	success	,	all	they	had	to	do	was	cast	two	extremely	popular	and	attractive	stars	,	have	them	share	the	screen	for	about	two	hours	and	then	collect	the	profits	.	no	real	acting	was	involved	and	there	is	not	an	original	or	inventive	bone	in	it's	body	(	it's	basically	a	complete	re	shoot	of	the	shop	around	the	corner	,	only	adding	a	few	modern	twists	)	.	essentially	,	it	goes	against	and	defies	all	concepts	of	good	contemporary	filmmaking	.	it's	overly	sentimental	and	at	times	terribly	mushy	,	not	to	mention	very	manipulative	.	but	oh	,	how	enjoyable	that	manipulation	is	.	but	there	must	be	something	other	than	the	casting	and	manipulation	that	makes	the	movie	work	as	well	as	it	does	,	because	i	absolutely	hated	the	previous	ryan	hanks	teaming	,	sleepless	in	seattle	.	it	couldn't	have	been	the	directing	,	because	both	films	were	helmed	by	the	same	woman	.	i	haven't	quite	yet	figured	out	what	i	liked	so	much	about	you've	got	mail	,	but	then	again	,	is	that	really	important	?	if	you	like	something	so	much	,	why	even	question	it	?	again	,	the	storyline	is	as	cliched	as	they	come	.	tom	hanks	plays	joe	fox	,	the	insanely	likeable	owner	of	a	discount	book	chain	and	meg	ryan	plays	kathleen	kelley	,	the	even	more	insanely	likeable	proprietor	of	a	family	run	children's	book	shop	called	,	in	a	nice	homage	,	the	shop	around	the	corner	.	fox	and	kelley	soon	become	bitter	rivals	because	the	new	fox	books	store	is	opening	up	right	across	the	block	from	the	small	business	.	little	do	they	know	,	they	are	already	in	love	with	each	other	over	the	internet	,	only	neither	party	knows	the	other	person's	true	identity	.	the	rest	of	the	story	isn't	important	because	all	it	does	is	serve	as	a	mere	backdrop	for	the	two	stars	to	share	the	screen	.	sure	,	there	are	some	mildly	interesting	subplots	,	but	they	all	fail	in	comparison	to	the	utter	cuteness	of	the	main	relationship	.	all	of	this	,	of	course	,	leads	up	to	the	predictable	climax	.	but	as	foreseeable	as	the	ending	is	,	it's	so	damn	cute	and	well	done	that	i	doubt	any	movie	in	the	entire	year	contains	a	scene	the	evokes	as	much	pure	joy	as	this	part	does	.	when	ryan	discovers	the	true	identity	of	her	online	love	,	i	was	filled	with	such	,	for	lack	of	a	better	word	,	happiness	that	for	the	first	time	all	year	,	i	actually	left	the	theater	smiling	.	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	boulevard	7475	a	complimentary	movie	ticket	courtesy	of	valley	cinemas	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	movie	tickets	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	movie	tickets	.	com	a
pos	the	booming	introduction	music	finishes	,	and	the	camera	sweeps	over	red	mountains	.	we	see	two	figures	looking	over	a	barren	,	and	very	red	landscape	.	they	kiss	,	then	walk	on	.	one	of	the	characters	(	schwarzenegger	)	slips	,	and	falls	.	the	glass	on	his	mask	cracks	.	his	face	scruches	up	,	and	his	eye's	begin	to	pop	.	.	.	.	.	then	doug	quaid	,	played	by	schwarzenegger	,	wakes	up	.	it's	all	been	a	dream	.	he	wakes	up	next	to	his	beautiful	wife	,	played	by	stone	,	and	the	film	begins	.	.	.	total	recall	is	a	typical	sci	fi	film	wrapped	around	an	intresting	(	if	far	fetched	)	plot	.	quaid	,	who	has	never	been	to	mars	,	keeps	on	having	dreams	of	the	planet	,	which	has	now	been	colanised	.	one	day	,	while	riding	on	a	train	,	he's	see's	a	ad	for	a	company	called	'rekall'	,	which	implants	memories	of	a	holiday	,	instead	of	you	actually	going	there	yourself	.	quaid	chooses	the	'secret	agent	on	mars'	memory	,	and	then	the	s	really	hits	the	fan	.	the	implant	goes	wrong	,	and	quaid	really	thinks	he	is	an	agent	on	mars	for	about	two	minutes	,	until	he	goes	back	to	normal	and	can't	remember	a	thing	.	however	,	everyone	he	knows	(	his	workmates	,	his	wife	)	turn	against	him	,	saying	how	'blabbed	about	mars'	and	'blew	his	cover	on	the	mission'	a	strange	man	,	called	richter	,	played	by	ironside	,	wants	to	kill	him	.	quaid	,	now	hopelessly	confused	,	follows	the	advice	given	to	him	,	by	a	'friend'	.	he	get's	his	ass	to	mars	.	mars	is	ruled	by	cohagen	,	played	by	cox	,	who	charges	people	for	air	.	against	him	are	the	rebels	,	who	are	mainly	mutants	.	the	rebel's	need	quaid	to	defeat	cohagen	,	because	quaid	knows	(	but	can't	remember	yet	)	about	a	reactor	that	produces	air	.	eventually	,	quaid	kills	cohagen	,	turns	on	the	reactor	,	saves	the	planet	,	and	goes	away	with	a	beautiful	girl	,	just	like	the	guy	at	rekall	promised	him	.	throughout	this	plot	,	there	is	huge	explosions	,	thousands	of	deaths	(	and	i	mean	a	lot	of	death	)	swearing	,	sex	,	and	everything	else	that	make's	a	good	verhoeven	(	director	of	basic	instinct	and	starship	troopers	)	movie	.	naturally	,	there's	some	pretty	imaginative	deaths	,	with	arms	getting	ripped	off	,	someone	getting	drilled	,	and	heads	exploding	.	as	you	can	tell	,	it's	violent	stuff	.	but	it's	done	so	stylishly	,	and	of	course	arnie	tones	it	down	with	a	one	liner	,	that's	it	excusable	.	the	acting	is	variable	.	arnie	,	of	course	,	is	useless	,	but	he	goes	has	some	good	lines	,	and	in	the	first	twenty	minutes	,	he	even	act's	like	a	normal	bloke	,	not	like	some	action	hero	.	stone	,	of	course	,	is	useless	,	making	a	pretty	poor	wife	,	and	a	pretty	poor	action	hero	.	but	,	she	does	sex	scenes	alright	.	ticoton	(	most	recently	seen	in	con	air	)	,	again	,	is	ok	,	doing	some	good	action	,	but	getting	her	emotions	all	wrong	.	one	minute	she	hates	quaid	,	the	next	she	loves	him	,	and	she	never	gets	this	tranisition	right	.	so	,	the	good	guys	are	awful	.	but	,	the	bad	guy's	are	excellent	.	cox	is	basically	reprising	robocop	,	but	he's	still	great	in	this	,	and	he	delivers	the	best	line	in	the	whole	film	near	the	end	.	ironside	is	superbly	evil	,	with	an	utterly	emotionless	face	.	the	supporting	cast	are	fine	,	and	not	even	the	comedy	sidekick	(	this	time	in	the	form	of	a	taxi	driver	)	is	annoying	.	one	disappointing	aspect	,	though	,	are	the	special	effects	.	ilm	and	dreamquest	do	some	good	work	(	such	as	a	subway	station	scene	)	but	the	model	work	is	not	so	good	.	some	of	the	model	heads	look	appaling	fake	,	and	quatto	is	a	major	disappointment	.	another	irritating	thing	is	the	product	placement	.	there	are	a	lot	of	plugs	(	and	a	good	mars	today	gag	)	however	,	the	sets	look	great	,	and	the	special	effects	at	the	end	of	the	film	aren't	too	bad	either	.	there's	also	a	good	soundtrack	running	through	,	by	jerry	goldsmith	(	the	omen	,	poltergeist	,	star	trek	:	the	motion	picture	)	overall	,	then	,	total	recall	is	a	hugely	violent	,	yet	hugely	enjoyable	,	action	fest	,	with	a	reasonable	plot	thrown	in	there	too	,	some	great	bad	guys	,	and	some	imaganitive	death	.	for	a	schwarzenegger	movie	,	this	is	not	bad	at	all	.	in	fact	,	it's	very	good	.
pos	i	had	been	expecting	more	of	this	movie	than	the	less	than	thrilling	twister	.	twister	was	good	but	had	no	real	plot	and	no	one	to	simpithize	with	.	but	twister	had	amazing	effects	and	i	was	hoping	so	would	volcano	volcano	starts	with	tommy	lee	jones	at	emo	.	he	worrys	about	a	small	earthquake	enough	to	leave	his	daughter	at	home	with	a	baby	sitter	.	there	is	one	small	quake	then	another	quake	.	then	a	geologist	points	out	to	tommy	that	its	takes	a	geologic	event	to	heat	millions	of	gallons	of	water	in	12	hours	.	a	few	hours	later	large	amount	of	ash	start	to	fall	.	then	.	.	.	.	it	starts	.	the	volcanic	eruption	.	.	.	.	i	liked	this	movie	.	.	.	but	it	was	not	as	great	as	i	hoped	.	i	was	still	good	none	the	less	.	it	had	excellent	special	effects	.	the	best	view	.	.	.	the	helecopters	flying	over	the	streets	of	volcanos	.	also	.	.	.	there	were	interesting	side	stories	that	made	the	plot	more	interesting	.	so	.	.	.	it	was	good	!	!
pos	20th	century	fox	1	:	51	1998	r	(	langauge	,	violence	,	muted	sex	)	cast	:	ethan	hawke	;	gwyneth	paltrow	;	anne	bancroft	;	robert	de	niro	;	chris	cooper	;	hank	azaria	;	josh	mostel	;	jeremy	james	kissner	;	raquel	beaudene	director	:	alfonso	cuaron	screenplay	:	mitch	glazer	studio	expectations	must	not	have	been	high	for	"	great	expectations	"	the	film's	release	date	was	pushed	from	late	december	to	late	january	at	what	appeared	to	be	the	last	minute	,	therefore	putting	any	academy	awards	chances	it	has	off	until	this	time	in	1999	.	it's	actually	a	smart	move	,	because	while	this	updated	take	on	the	charles	dickens	tale	isn't	quite	oscar	fodder	,	it	is	strong	enough	to	be	distinguished	from	the	cinematic	dumping	ground	that	usually	makes	up	the	first	five	or	six	weeks	of	any	given	year	.	"	great	expectations	"	also	demonstrates	how	to	modernize	a	classic	story	right	,	especially	after	the	excruciatingly	wretched	excesses	of	baz	luhrmann's	"	william	shakespeare's	romeo	juliet	.	"	"	great	expectations	"	opens	somewhere	in	1970s	florida	(	the	original	story	is	set	in	19th	century	england	)	,	as	eight	year	old	finn	(	jeremy	james	kissner	)	meets	a	trio	of	people	who	will	have	a	profound	effect	on	his	life	in	the	future	.	there's	icy	,	11	year	old	estella	(	raquel	beaudene	)	,	a	pseudo	playmate	of	finn's	;	ms	.	dinsmoor	(	anne	bancroft	)	,	estella's	auntie	who's	quite	off	kilter	over	a	past	romance	that	never	took	off	;	and	a	mysterious	prisoner	(	robert	de	niro	)	whom	finn	saves	the	life	of	.	finn	,	who	lives	with	his	sister's	affable	boyfriend	(	lone	star's	chris	cooper	)	,	fancies	himself	an	aspiring	artist	,	and	proves	his	prowess	by	whipping	up	an	unusual	portrait	of	estella	using	only	ms	.	dinsmoor's	lipstick	,	eyebrow	pencil	and	the	wallpaper	from	her	dilapidating	mansion	.	flash	forward	into	the	'90s	(	after	a	brief	stop	in	the	'80s	)	,	and	finn	(	now	played	by	ethan	hawke	)	,	despondent	over	a	strange	hot	and	cold	relationship	with	the	elusive	estella	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	,	receives	quite	a	bit	of	money	from	an	unknown	benefactor	;	it's	enough	cash	to	send	him	to	new	york	to	focus	on	a	career	in	art	.	there	,	finn	seems	to	gain	everything	he	could	ever	want	wealth	,	prestige	and	a	high	place	in	the	glamorous	art	world	.	when	estella	resurfaces	albeit	with	an	aloof	fianc	(	hank	azaria	)	finn	also	sees	the	chance	to	renew	their	mutual	attraction	.	but	she's	not	the	only	ghost	from	finn's	past	that's	going	to	be	paying	him	a	visit	.	comparisons	with	the	afore	mentioned	"	romeo	juliet	"	seem	inevitable	since	these	films	are	the	only	ones	in	recent	memory	to	plop	classic	drama	into	a	current	setting	.	"	great	expectations	"	is	a	much	better	venture	,	though	,	because	it	treats	its	source	with	even	handed	respect	,	where	"	romeo	"	was	never	quite	sure	whether	to	be	a	spoof	,	a	homage	or	both	.	the	movie	is	a	visual	banquet	thanks	to	emmanuel	lubezki's	sexy	cinematography	;	notably	,	he	captures	a	revisited	fountain	kiss	between	the	two	leads	with	a	luscious	,	erotic	charge	that's	steamier	than	the	film's	(	surprisingly	muted	)	love	scenes	.	the	eclectic	rock	soundtrack	compliments	the	on	screen	action	beautifully	,	especially	new	songs	by	tori	amos	,	mono	and	duncan	sheik	.	acting	credits	are	first	rate	,	often	hiding	the	screenplay's	occasional	slip	ups	.	hawke	is	sincere	and	solid	as	a	leading	man	(	something	we	also	learned	from	"	gattaca	"	)	,	and	his	finn	is	quite	a	likeable	guy	.	paltrow's	estella	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	rather	underdeveloped	.	while	the	actress	is	at	her	icily	seductive	best	,	we're	not	told	very	much	about	her	character	,	and	as	a	result	,	it's	often	hard	to	understand	why	finn	would	appreciate	her	beyond	a	physical	level	(	but	,	oh	,	what	a	physical	level	)	;	sometimes	,	we	root	for	finn	although	we	don't	quite	understand	why	she's	fueling	his	fire	.	robert	de	niro	is	nice	and	sophisticated	in	the	benevolent	kind	of	role	he	rarely	gets	to	play	;	on	the	other	end	of	the	acting	spectrum	is	bancroft	,	a	macabre	,	throaty	delight	who	mambos	and	sucks	down	cigarettes	with	an	eerie	enthusiasm	that	would	make	norma	desmond	jealous	.	alfonso	cuaron's	visually	elegant	direction	helps	to	distract	from	the	dry	moments	that	pop	up	more	frequently	around	the	movie's	climax	.	another	problem	is	predictability	;	you	can	guess	your	way	through	the	plot	even	if	you	aren't	familiar	with	the	story	.	despite	its	script	flaws	,	though	,	"	great	expectations	"	is	undeniably	romantic	without	being	corny	or	gloppy	.	and	frankly	,	it's	nice	to	see	a	film	that	embraces	softened	sensuality	other	than	explicit	sexuality	.	perhaps	that	renovated	release	date	,	awfully	close	to	valentine's	day	,	will	end	up	helping	"	great	expectations	"	'	seemingly	average	box	office	chances	after	all	.	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
pos	more	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a	the	thomas	crown	affair	,	a	remake	of	the	1968	steve	mcqueen	romance	of	the	same	name	,	is	a	glossy	star	vehicle	with	an	attractive	surface	but	an	empty	shell	.	while	you	will	probably	enjoy	the	star	chemistry	,	the	film	lacks	a	certain	urgency	.	and	those	expecting	present	007	pierce	brosnan	to	be	dodging	explosions	and	attempting	death	defying	stunts	should	look	elsewhere	.	this	remake	follows	a	more	laid	back	and	conventional	pace	,	but	it	still	can	be	fun	.	brosnan	plays	a	wealthy	art	lover	named	thomas	crown	who	steals	expensive	paintings	because	,	well	,	he	likes	to	.	his	latest	heist	has	aroused	some	suspicion	.	after	an	ingeniously	crafted	caper	in	a	museum	involving	a	group	of	hired	goons	and	a	decoy	helicopter	,	the	insurance	company	sends	in	a	representative	by	the	name	of	catherine	banning	(	rene	russo	)	to	investigate	.	banning	,	with	a	striking	fashion	sense	and	a	very	floppy	hairdo	,	manages	to	piece	together	the	heist	in	a	few	brief	moments	of	scanning	the	video	surveillance	.	but	the	identity	of	the	(	very	bright	)	burglar	is	still	unanswered	.	working	with	detective	michael	mccann	(	denis	leary	)	,	banning	works	fast	.	she	attends	a	party	uninvited	,	wearing	a	very	revealing	dress	,	and	gets	to	know	mr	.	crown	a	little	better	.	she	knows	this	debonair	businessman	is	the	thief	,	but	she	can't	find	the	evidence	to	prove	it	.	the	chemistry	between	brosnan	and	russo	in	this	film	is	not	a	noticeable	strong	point	.	they	work	well	enough	on	an	individual	basis	,	but	don't	create	enough	believable	sparks	together	to	make	their	relationship	click	properly	.	pierce	brosnan	perhaps	wasn't	the	best	actor	to	take	over	for	steve	mcqueen	,	because	he's	lacking	more	than	a	few	striking	attributes	that	the	latter	was	known	for	.	but	his	performance	is	slick	enough	to	hide	these	drawbacks	.	russo's	role	,	also	maybe	better	suited	to	a	different	actress	,	is	still	the	stronger	one	.	she	has	never	looked	better	.	perhaps	casting	wasn't	the	most	persuasive	part	of	the	thomas	crown	affair	,	but	the	actors	are	in	top	form	.	the	2nd	act	of	this	film	struggles	valiantly	to	hold	the	viewer's	attention	.	the	director	is	john	mctiernan	,	who	is	far	more	accustomed	to	helming	big	budget	action	films	(	he	was	behind	the	camera	for	die	hard	and	predator	)	.	perhaps	it's	his	direction	,	but	most	of	the	thomas	crown	affair	feels	somewhat	stiff	.	the	actors	and	scenery	are	pretty	,	the	set	up	is	well	staged	,	but	there	is	little	push	behind	the	initial	story	.	everything	seems	to	meander	along	slowly	until	the	last	fifteen	minutes	,	which	contain	just	enough	clever	twists	and	turns	to	keep	us	interested	.	if	there	had	been	more	focus	on	this	sneaky	little	fun	,	the	majority	of	the	plot	could	have	moved	smoother	(	the	opposite	goes	for	entrapment	,	which	was	fun	and	exciting	but	rarely	stopped	to	establish	character	details	)	.	the	presence	of	denis	leary	as	the	bickering	detective	helps	.	leary	is	a	gifted	comic	actor	who	adds	some	zest	to	the	story	,	although	i	did	want	more	from	his	character	.	there's	also	faye	dunaway	,	the	original	insurance	investigator	in	the	1968	version	,	playing	crown's	psychiatrist	and	having	fun	doing	so	.	inserting	dunaway	in	more	than	just	a	brief	cameo	appearance	was	another	wise	move	.	little	additions	like	this	one	can	prove	very	effective	when	carefully	scattered	throughout	a	movie	.	an	action	film	this	ain't	.	the	thomas	crown	affair	is	more	like	a	long	shot	romance	with	a	detailed	back	story	to	support	it	.	it	has	a	tendency	to	be	very	entertaining	,	but	the	lack	of	a	real	2nd	act	nearly	sinks	it	.	the	actors	are	charming	,	but	can't	scrounge	up	enough	sparks	to	keep	the	momentum	flowing	.	this	film	has	a	great	opening	,	a	memorable	finale	,	but	what's	left	in	between	leaves	something	to	be	desired	.
pos	jackie	brown	(	1997	)	rated	r	for	language	,	sex	,	violence	,	drug	use	,	and	offensive	dialogue	.	out	of	4	stars	:	1	2	(	3	1	2	stars	)	starring	:	pam	grier	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	michael	keaton	,	bridget	fonda	,	robert	de	niro	,	robert	forster	,	and	chris	tucker	quentin	tarantino	seems	to	have	a	knack	for	giving	his	stars	big	careers	.	after	his	pulp	fiction	,	many	actors	began	receiving	many	offers	for	jobs	.	john	travolta	made	his	come	back	and	is	now	one	of	today's	most	bankable	stars	.	bruce	willis	proved	his	acting	chops	and	is	now	considered	an	actual	actor	.	jackie	brown	,	on	the	other	hand	,	boasts	quite	a	well	known	cast	,	except	for	the	main	lead	:	pam	grier	.	most	likely	you	have	heard	of	her	and	seen	her	in	films	,	but	she's	never	really	had	a	breakthrough	performance	(	her	first	film	was	in	the	roger	ebert	written	beyond	the	valley	of	the	dolls	)	.	that	is	,	until	now	.	jackie	brown	is	a	highly	anticipated	feature	film	from	quentin	tarantino	,	whose	last	film	was	the	huge	hit	pulp	fiction	.	after	mediocre	acting	jobs	,	tarantino	returns	to	what	made	his	name	a	household	one	:	directing	and	writing	.	jackie	brown	is	the	result	,	and	it	is	fantastic	entertainment	.	despite	excellent	direction	from	tarantino	,	the	cast	steals	the	film	,	giving	one	good	performance	after	another	.	pam	grier	gives	a	stunning	performance	as	jackie	brown	,	and	she	is	supported	by	an	incredible	mix	of	talent	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	bridget	fonda	,	michael	keaton	,	robert	de	niro	,	and	robert	forster	.	more	than	likely	,	you	will	see	a	few	of	these	names	in	the	oscar	pool	come	oscar	nominations	.	describing	a	quentin	tarantino	film	is	very	difficult	,	as	you	really	can't	say	much	or	you	spoil	it	for	everyone	else	.	i	will	tread	lightly	.	jackie	brown	opens	with	an	impressive	shot	of	jackie	brown	(	grier	)	in	a	blue	outfit	walking	through	the	airport	.	the	camera	tracks	along	with	her	,	and	ends	up	revealing	her	occupation	.	we	are	also	introduced	to	ordell	robbie	(	jackson	)	,	who	sells	illegal	guns	to	interested	buyers	.	.	.	for	a	hefty	price	.	ms	.	brown	carries	the	money	from	buyer	to	ordell	in	order	to	keep	the	cops	away	.	however	,	an	fbi	agent	(	keaton	)	and	a	local	l	.	a	.	cop	(	michael	bowen	)	are	out	to	find	ordell	and	catch	him	while	taking	the	money	.	they	try	to	reach	him	through	beaumont	livingston	(	chris	tucker	)	,	one	of	ordell's	buyers	,	but	he	mysteriously	ends	up	dead	.	they	try	again	through	brown	,	but	she	is	hesitant	to	admit	to	any	wrong	doing	.	but	after	unknowingly	carrying	some	drugs	for	one	of	ordell's	friends	(	fonda	)	,	she	is	caught	and	sent	to	jail	.	ordell	pays	her	bail	through	a	bail	bond	agent	,	max	cherry	(	forster	)	,	and	then	wants	to	find	out	what	she	told	the	cops	.	after	she	claims	to	have	said	nothing	,	she	reveals	the	fact	that	she	will	tell	them	about	ordell	in	order	to	stay	out	of	prison	.	ordell	doesn't	like	this	,	but	they	both	come	up	with	a	scheme	to	throw	the	feds	and	cops	off	their	track	.	this	scheme	seems	to	be	going	as	planned	,	but	unexpected	occurances	may	or	may	not	foul	up	their	goal	.	revealing	more	would	spoil	the	fun	of	jackie	brown	,	and	that's	the	biggest	reason	to	go	see	a	tarantino	film	.	tarantino	seems	to	have	a	fascination	with	hitmen	and	unusual	predicaments	(	and	slang	terms	)	,	but	they	are	always	done	very	well	and	believably	.	his	hitmen	are	normally	cruel	,	but	pleasant	,	in	that	nasty	sort	of	way	.	they	talk	like	normal	people	,	except	for	when	doing	business	,	and	they	are	rude	to	their	girlfriends	.	of	course	,	this	is	a	tarantino	film	,	and	you	know	you	can	expect	some	awkward	situations	to	arise	.	and	perhaps	the	biggest	flaw	with	jackie	brown	is	the	slow	middle	section	in	which	the	pace	begins	to	drop	.	of	course	,	tarantino	fixes	this	by	moving	onto	the	climax	of	the	film	,	adding	a	lot	of	his	reservoir	dogs	style	storytelling	to	it	.	things	are	told	from	one	person's	perspective	,	and	then	from	another	,	and	then	from	another	,	each	time	learning	more	and	more	.	this	all	leads	up	to	a	very	interesting	conclusion	,	which	decides	who	is	on	whose	side	.	on	the	technical	side	of	jackie	brown	,	quentin	tarantino	directs	it	with	the	same	style	as	he	did	with	his	1994	film	.	however	,	this	time	around	it	isn't	as	nearly	as	impressive	or	original	.	the	writing	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	quite	good	,	although	i	do	find	tarantino's	use	of	slang	terms	offensive	.	the	story	jumps	back	and	forth	in	time	as	in	pulp	fiction	,	but	it's	much	more	easy	to	understand	.	his	previous	film	needed	a	second	viewing	in	order	to	understand	the	time	differentiation	,	but	jackie	brown	is	very	simply	to	follow	,	especially	considering	that	the	time	is	given	during	the	"	leaps	"	in	time	.	perhaps	this	is	a	result	of	the	screenplay	being	written	from	the	novel	"	rum	punch	"	by	elmore	leonard	.	the	dialogue	is	pretty	much	intelligent	,	and	all	the	characters	are	fully	realized	.	the	cinematography	is	very	well	done	by	guillermo	navarro	(	who	has	worked	with	tarantino	on	previous	films	)	and	the	editing	is	very	good	.	and	as	with	pulp	fiction	,	the	music	is	a	highlight	,	bringing	back	memorable	songs	from	the	70s	and	80s	.	the	acting	side	of	jackie	brown	is	unforgettable	.	the	performances	are	incredibly	rich	,	with	hidden	meaning	behind	every	characters'	actions	.	nothing	is	quite	as	it	seems	,	and	you	can't	really	tell	which	side	one	person	is	on	.	the	real	treat	,	of	course	,	is	pam	grier	who	gives	an	astonishing	performance	as	jackie	brown	.	her	poor	living	conditions	are	superceded	by	her	superior	wits	,	which	play	an	important	role	in	the	film	.	watching	grieg	,	i	could	tell	what	was	going	through	her	mind	,	even	if	i	didn't	know	what	she	was	thinking	.	her	face	portrays	a	lot	of	emotion	that	you	can	tell	when	she	is	sad	,	happy	,	or	in	deep	thought	.	bridget	fonda	gives	a	very	good	performance	as	a	druggie	couch	potato	.	i	didn't	even	realize	it	was	fonda	until	i	saw	her	name	in	the	final	credits	(	her	performance	actually	reminded	me	of	heather	graham's	in	boogie	nights	)	.	michael	keaton	comes	across	very	well	,	as	does	michael	bowen	.	chris	tucker	has	a	small	,	but	effective	performance	.	samuel	l	.	jackson	is	very	good	,	but	it	seems	to	me	that	he	was	replaying	his	jules	winnfield	character	from	pulp	fiction	(	although	much	less	cynical	)	.	but	no	matter	.	.	.	jackson	is	very	strong	in	his	role	.	robert	de	niro	is	actually	a	little	annoying	at	times	,	but	overall	he	does	a	good	job	as	one	of	ordell's	perspective	clients	and	friends	.	robert	forster	gives	one	of	the	best	performances	in	the	film	,	as	he	has	one	of	the	most	developed	characters	.	he	is	present	throughout	most	of	the	film	,	and	he	holds	his	own	against	jackson	and	grier	.	jackie	brown	is	rated	r	for	language	,	sex	,	violence	,	drug	use	,	and	some	offensive	remarks	.	as	a	film	by	itself	,	jackie	brown	is	a	terrific	piece	of	entertainment	,	with	a	complex	plot	to	draw	viewers	in	.	however	,	one	can	not	help	but	compare	it	to	tarantino's	pulp	fiction	,	and	expect	great	results	.	when	compared	,	it	comes	up	short	,	but	not	that	short	.	it's	a	worthy	effort	,	with	terrific	acting	and	some	impressive	writing	from	elmore	leonard	and	tarantino	.	perhaps	the	best	thing	about	jackie	brown	is	the	discovery	of	pam	grier	as	a	major	hollywood	actress	.	i	can't	remember	seeing	her	in	anything	(	except	for	a	small	role	in	mars	attacks	!	)	,	but	hopefully	she	will	get	many	more	roles	from	this	one	.	expect	to	see	her	name	floating	around	the	oscar	nominations	(	and	hopefully	she	will	even	be	able	to	nab	one	)	.	reviewed	by	respect	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	respect	aros	.	net	"	respect	aros	.	net	a	)	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	a
pos	director	:	jonathan	demme	writers	:	akosua	busia	,	richard	lagravenese	,	and	adam	brooks	(	based	on	the	novel	by	toni	morrison	)	starring	:	oprah	winfrey	,	danny	glover	,	thandie	newton	,	kimberly	elise	,	beah	richards	,	lisa	gay	hamilton	,	albert	hall	,	irma	p	.	hall	since	most	movies	about	slavery	shield	us	from	the	true	horrors	of	what	they're	portraying	,	it's	fitting	to	say	that	"	beloved	"	come	as	a	real	shock	as	a	film	.	it's	confusing	,	bizarre	,	and	as	tough	a	film	to	watch	as	any	film	i've	seen	all	year	,	and	that's	not	necessarily	because	of	the	three	hour	running	time	.	"	beloved	"	is	challenging	to	watch	,	filled	with	tough	and	powerful	poetry	that	takes	us	completely	off	guard	,	and	instead	of	a	straight	forward	,	hollywood	ized	story	about	what	happened	to	the	slaves	after	they	were	freed	,	"	beloved	"	comes	off	as	a	cry	of	anguish	from	all	those	who	actually	lived	through	what	happened	(	or	,	rather	,	toni	morrison	,	who	wrote	the	novel	upon	which	this	is	based	)	.	"	beloved	"	tells	the	story	of	an	ex	slave	named	sethe	,	played	by	oprah	winfrey	,	who	lives	on	a	large	farm	in	the	north	with	her	children	.	when	the	film	opens	,	her	house	is	being	terrorized	by	a	poltergeist	,	which	shakes	things	up	,	wounds	the	dog	,	and	makes	things	generally	uncomfortable	for	the	family	.	sethe	is	proud	,	though	,	and	will	not	move	.	her	sons	run	away	,	leaving	only	her	and	her	daughter	,	denver	(	kimberly	elise	)	alone	with	the	ghost	which	is	there	without	any	factual	explanation	.	a	couple	years	pass	,	and	the	ghost	remains	,	and	one	day	,	a	man	named	paul	d	(	danny	glover	)	,	another	ex	slave	who	knew	sethe	years	ago	when	they	worked	on	a	plantation	together	,	arrives	,	asking	for	lodging	.	he	has	been	wandering	around	since	he	left	the	plantation	,	and	when	he	enters	the	house	,	it	turns	red	and	becomes	incredibly	hot	.	when	he	remarks	about	what	he	thinks	is	evil	,	sethe	replies	"	it	ain't	evil	.	it's	just	sad	.	"	some	more	time	passes	,	and	paul	d	has	become	a	fervent	member	of	the	household	,	and	the	ghost	disappears	.	but	when	they	return	one	day	from	going	out	,	they	discover	a	young	woman	sitting	in	the	house	.	her	name	is	beloved	,	and	as	played	by	thandie	newton	,	she	has	almost	zero	motor	skills	.	she	stumbles	around	,	half	grabbing	onto	things	and	knocking	them	over	,	and	when	she	speaks	,	she	lets	out	a	low	guttural	sound	that	eventually	turns	into	baby	talk	.	they	let	her	into	her	house	,	and	she	begins	to	turn	things	upside	down	.	"	beloved	"	acts	like	an	incredibly	difficult	chamber	drama	paired	with	a	ghost	story	.	most	of	the	scenes	consist	of	people	arguing	in	one	claustrophobic	,	low	lit	room	,	with	the	occasional	flash	to	the	past	,	where	we	see	images	of	such	horror	that	we	thank	god	for	modern	day	psychoanalysts	.	sethe	and	paul	d	have	lived	through	such	hellish	times	that	they	are	forever	implanted	with	the	memories	of	their	slavehood	on	the	old	plantation	,	which	includes	such	images	as	sethe	being	raped	by	the	white	plantation	hands	,	with	her	nipples	being	licked	,	prompting	her	to	cry	out	to	paul	d	when	reminiscing	about	it	,	"	they	took	my	milk	!	"	worst	of	all	was	the	month	after	her	freedom	,	when	she	was	allowed	to	live	like	a	free	person	,	working	with	other	blacks	on	a	farm	,	and	then	seeing	that	her	old	plantation	owners	have	arrived	to	presumedly	take	her	and	her	children	back	.	she	runs	to	the	barn	near	by	,	carrying	her	four	children	,	and	when	her	old	owners	burst	in	,	they	discover	she	has	murdered	one	of	them	and	is	ready	to	murder	the	rest	of	them	if	they	don't	leave	them	alone	.	when	she	is	inquired	about	this	moment	by	paul	d	in	a	moment	halfway	through	the	film	,	she	says	she	doesn't	regret	it	.	she	killed	her	daughter	so	that	she	would	not	have	to	live	through	the	horror	she	did	,	and	she	has	convinced	herself	she	did	the	right	thing	.	of	course	,	beloved	is	really	her	daugher	materialized	,	though	we	aren't	flat	out	told	that	until	later	on	in	the	film	.	beloved	represents	the	pain	and	suffering	the	slaves	went	through	and	shows	how	difficult	it	was	for	them	to	deal	with	their	freedom	after	being	tortured	for	so	long	.	thus	,	"	beloved	"	becomes	a	sorta	redux	of	the	andrei	tarkofsky	sci	fi	classic	,	"	solaris	,	"	where	a	cosmonaut	discovers	that	his	wife	,	who	commited	suicide	years	before	,	has	materialized	when	he	is	orbiting	over	a	planet	with	a	complex	brain	system	.	that	film	spoke	volumes	about	humanity	and	our	memories	,	how	we	are	constantly	regretting	what	happened	in	the	past	,	and	when	if	it	ever	literally	came	back	to	haunt	us	,	it	would	control	us	completely	.	"	beloved	"	moves	along	freely	,	without	a	lot	of	explanation	,	and	for	the	most	part	,	this	is	extremely	respectable	.	the	most	interesting	films	are	the	ones	that	don't	explain	everything	for	us	,	leaving	gaps	in	the	characters	that	we	are	supposed	to	fill	in	with	how	they	act	in	the	present	tense	.	sethe	is	never	fully	explained	as	a	character	,	but	we	understand	all	her	actions	since	she's	being	played	by	oprah	winfrey	.	it's	been	well	over	a	decade	since	her	last	major	performance	in	"	the	color	purple	,	"	but	judging	from	these	two	films	,	i'll	bet	she's	one	of	the	best	actresses	working	today	.	.	.	if	she	was	strictly	an	actress	.	her	talk	show	,	which	i	suppose	is	a	great	entity	,	has	prevented	her	from	becoming	a	noteworthy	actress	,	and	that's	a	shame	because	she	brings	so	much	to	this	movie	.	emotion	.	sadness	.	strength	.	watching	the	strong	sethe	,	who's	so	afraid	of	the	past	that	she's	built	a	rather	strong	protective	coating	around	herself	,	break	down	when	she	discovers	who	beloved	really	is	is	what	makes	this	movie	really	great	.	she	makes	it	real	.	that's	not	to	say	this	is	a	perfect	film	.	in	fact	,	i'd	wager	to	say	that	the	fact	that	it's	confusing	and	painful	to	watch	is	what	prevents	this	from	being	the	truly	great	film	it	is	.	while	oprah's	performance	is	powerful	and	easily	sympathetic	(	and	i'm	dying	to	see	her	win	at	least	an	oscar	nomination	this	february	)	,	the	structure	of	the	film	,	which	doesn't	show	what	happened	to	her	children	till	halfway	through	the	film	,	prevents	us	from	really	making	a	cohesive	connection	to	the	film	.	it	doesn't	necessarily	move	as	though	they're	memories	of	one	particular	character	,	and	by	the	end	,	it	has	lost	control	over	sethe	,	and	as	she	takes	to	bed	,	we	are	unable	to	truly	identify	with	her	anymore	.	but	despite	its	tediousness	,	perhaps	that's	the	point	.	the	distancing	by	the	end	of	the	film	may	be	just	part	of	the	way	it	has	been	built	from	the	start	,	since	they	figure	she	has	crossed	over	from	being	identifiable	,	and	it	needs	to	get	back	with	reality	.	and	for	the	most	part	,	this	film	seems	like	the	cry	of	pain	from	the	slaves	that	it	really	wants	to	be	.	jonathan	demme's	direction	is	bizarre	,	in	nature	with	the	story	,	and	he	creates	the	right	mood	,	making	it	a	tough	film	to	sit	through	,	making	sure	that	the	audience	feels	as	uncomfortable	as	the	characters	.	there's	more	to	admire	here	,	like	the	way	that	the	flashbacks	pop	up	freely	and	without	real	organization	,	just	like	they	would	be	in	real	life	;	and	the	way	that	the	ending	leaves	it	somewhat	open	to	more	pain	and	suffering	,	but	laced	with	a	touch	of	optimism	.	the	acting	,	not	only	from	winfrey	,	is	amazing	,	and	i	anticipate	not	only	she	will	get	an	oscar	nomination	.	everyone	has	been	raving	about	thandie	newton's	performance	,	and	how	it	should	be	rewarded	.	however	,	it	must	be	noted	that	out	of	everyone	,	she	had	the	easiest	part	.	act	like	a	baby	.	throw	things	.	stumble	around	.	chew	food	with	your	mouth	open	.	i	do	think	there's	another	performance	worthy	of	oscar	conisderation	,	but	it's	kimberly	elise	,	as	the	daugher	who	has	to	stay	sensible	and	sane	,	and	has	to	carry	the	burden	of	her	mother's	loss	of	reality	towards	the	end	.	it's	not	that	newton	isn't	great	:	she's	as	annoying	and	wacky	as	the	role	demands	.	it's	just	that	elise	has	the	tougher	job	and	pulls	it	off	even	better	.	despite	the	fact	that	this	film	has	winfrey	written	all	over	it	,	and	not	that	of	writer	morrison	or	director	demme	,	"	beloved	"	has	still	not	done	well	.	costing	,	i	think	,	around	ninety	million	dollars	,	it	has	since	grossed	about	twenty	two	.	unfortunately	,	this	film	is	a	little	too	intense	for	viewers	,	even	for	me	,	and	i	can	stand	almost	anything	(	i	recently	viewed	the	2	1	2	hour	long	epic	"	caligula	,	"	the	worst	film	i	have	ever	seen	in	my	life	,	and	did	it	in	a	mere	2	sittings	)	.	although	i	respect	"	beloved	,	"	i	can't	say	that	i	really	enjoyed	it	.
pos	bulworth	(	m	)	.	(	twentieth	century	fox	)	director	:	warren	beatty	stars	:	warren	beatty	,	halle	berry	,	oliver	platt	,	don	cheadle	,	joshua	malina	,	jack	warden	,	paul	sorvino	,	christine	baranski	,	richard	sarafian	,	isaiah	washington	,	sean	astin	,	laurie	metcalf	,	amiri	baraka	,	wendell	pierce	,	michele	morgan	,	ariyan	johnson	,	larry	king	,	george	hamilton	(	uncredited	cameo	)	running	time	:	108	minutes	.	bulworth	is	a	daring	film	from	warren	beatty	,	a	film	maker	whose	politics	have	always	been	left	of	centre	and	whose	long	career	has	been	driven	by	his	very	personal	choice	of	projects	.	in	this	cynical	and	scathing	political	satire	beatty	tackles	many	of	the	more	obvious	problems	of	the	american	democratic	process	,	and	the	social	and	economic	divisions	caused	by	race	and	class	.	beatty	,	who	is	credited	as	writer	,	producer	and	director	,	takes	aim	at	a	number	of	targets	and	hits	a	few	raw	nerves	along	the	way	.	beatty	could	also	be	accused	of	biting	the	hand	that	feeds	him	,	as	he	attacks	the	major	motion	picture	studios	,	the	corporations	that	buy	political	favours	,	and	the	whole	political	process	itself	.	in	the	week	before	the	senate	elections	,	democrat	jay	bulington	bulworth	(	beatty	)	has	become	disillusioned	by	the	hypocrisy	,	the	lies	and	the	machinations	of	american	politics	and	wants	out	.	he	takes	out	a	10	million	life	insurance	policy	and	then	hires	a	hit	man	to	assassinate	him	.	freed	of	any	sense	of	obligation	,	bulworth	then	feels	able	to	speak	his	mind	during	the	campaign	.	rather	than	deliver	the	same	tired	old	speeches	,	he	begins	to	tell	the	truth	,	informing	the	voters	of	how	little	they	actually	mean	to	the	politicians	.	suddenly	,	bulworth	becomes	popular	and	reinvents	himself	as	that	rarity	an	honest	,	straight	talking	politician	.	in	the	wave	of	euphoria	following	his	sensational	admissions	,	bulworth	has	second	thoughts	about	his	earlier	decision	,	but	finds	himself	unable	to	call	off	the	hit	.	bulworth	also	finds	romance	with	the	fiery	,	beautiful	and	intelligent	nina	(	halle	berry	,	from	executive	decision	,	etc	)	,	who	hails	from	la's	black	ghettos	and	the	opposite	end	of	the	political	spectrum	.	however	,	her	ideas	and	opinions	open	his	eyes	to	a	lot	that	is	wrong	with	his	country	and	the	government	.	another	unexpected	source	of	inspiration	is	found	in	l	d	(	don	cheadle	,	from	devil	in	a	blue	dress	,	etc	)	,	a	drug	lord	.	bulworth	follows	on	from	those	other	sharp	political	satires	from	last	year	,	the	timely	wag	the	dog	and	primary	colors	.	however	,	bulworth	is	nowhere	near	as	clever	,	biting	or	as	credible	as	those	two	films	,	and	at	times	is	something	of	an	undisciplined	mess	.	as	co	writers	,	beatty	and	long	time	collaborator	jeremy	pikser	(	reds	,	etc	)	seem	to	have	bitten	off	more	than	they	can	chew	in	this	ambitious	script	.	there	are	a	couple	of	good	ideas	here	,	but	they	seem	to	get	lost	in	some	unnecessary	over	plotting	.	the	film	ultimately	lacks	a	strong	central	focus	.	and	those	scenes	where	bulworth	,	an	angry	old	man	,	proceeds	to	rail	against	corruption	and	apathy	through	rap	songs	don't	quite	convince	.	for	once	,	beatty	is	playing	closer	to	his	age	,	a	haggard	,	weary	and	tired	60	something	,	and	he	seems	to	be	enjoying	the	experience	.	oliver	platt	gives	a	wonderfully	manic	performance	as	murphy	,	bulworth's	increasingly	frustrated	aide	who	attempts	damage	control	as	he	tries	to	keep	his	charge	on	the	straight	and	narrow	.	a	number	of	celebrity	cameos	,	from	the	ubiquitous	larry	king	through	to	george	hamilton	,	add	to	the	flavour	of	the	film	.	despite	its	structural	flaws	though	,	bulworth	looks	great	,	thanks	to	vittorio	storaro's	superb	cinematography	and	dean	tavoularis'	production	design	.
pos	before	entering	"	the	haunting	"	,	it's	important	for	the	viewer	to	consider	what	kind	of	movie	they're	looking	for	.	if	it's	a	terrifying	horror	movie	,	look	elsewhere	.	if	it's	a	special	effects	extravaganza	with	fine	acting	and	some	of	the	best	sets	ever	seen	,	this	is	the	movie	to	see	.	it	should	also	be	noted	that	as	a	remake	of	the	chilling	original	,	the	film	is	not	quite	up	to	par	.	if	taken	on	its	own	merits	however	,	this	is	a	rather	fun	,	brainless	summer	movie	.	dr	.	david	marrow	is	a	professor	whose	speciality	is	fear	.	taking	a	group	of	subjects	consisting	of	the	timid	eleanor	;	the	perky	,	gorgeous	theo	,	and	the	goofy	owen	,	he	travels	to	hill	house	.	hill	house	is	a	tremendous	mansion	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	which	has	a	rather	checkered	past	(	i	don't	want	to	say	more	,	as	further	explanation	would	be	a	spoiler	)	.	dr	.	marrow	does	not	,	however	,	tell	the	group	that	they	are	there	to	examine	the	effects	of	fear	.	they	are	supposedly	there	to	cure	the	insomnia	experienced	by	the	group	.	upon	reaching	the	house	,	it	slowly	dawns	on	the	three	,	and	eventually	on	dr	.	marrow	,	that	the	house	is	indeed	haunted	,	and	out	for	their	blood	.	the	house	seems	to	take	a	special	interest	in	eleanor	.	as	the	nights	go	by	,	the	house	becomes	more	and	more	dangerous	.	i	was	rather	disappointed	at	the	bad	reviews	this	recieved	(	except	from	the	always	reliable	roger	ebert	)	.	so	many	critics	seemed	to	grade	this	based	entirely	on	how	it	compared	to	the	original	.	if	viewed	on	its	own	merits	,	i	found	this	to	be	quite	an	enjoyable	film	.	the	acting	is	quite	good	,	although	the	characters	really	are	underwritten	.	the	standout	in	my	opinion	is	liam	neeson	,	but	i've	always	been	a	fan	of	his	.	the	one	person	i	was	not	so	impressed	by	was	lili	taylor	,	though	she	seems	to	be	receiving	all	the	praise	from	other	critics	.	owen	wilson	does	get	a	little	annoying	at	times	,	but	for	the	most	part	he	adds	some	neccesary	comic	relief	.	the	greatest	part	of	this	film	is	amazingly	not	the	visuals	,	though	they	are	impressive	.	it	is	the	house	itself	,	that	steals	the	show	.	filled	with	long	,	dark	corridors	which	seem	to	lead	to	nowhere	,	and	are	filled	with	chilling	(	and	sometimes	moving	!	)	statues	,	the	house	is	truly	awe	inspiring	.	the	fireplace	,	and	its	possible	denizens	,	is	one	of	the	few	truly	frightening	parts	of	the	film	.	this	brings	us	to	the	flaws	,	and	there	are	quite	a	few	of	them	.	as	i	mentioned	before	,	the	characters	are	very	underwritten	.	we	know	nothing	about	dr	.	marrow	,	theo	,	or	owen	,	and	very	little	about	eleanor	.	the	dialagoue	is	,	at	times	,	positively	abysmal	.	for	example	,	liam	neeson	climbs	a	very	rickety	flight	of	stairs	to	help	an	apparently	suicidal	eleanor	.	the	stairs	collapse	,	all	over	the	place	,	and	owen	points	at	them	,	open	mouthed	saying	"	look	,	the	stairs	are	falling	.	"	my	only	other	really	major	complaint	is	the	film's	end	,	which	was	really	quite	terrible	.	eleanor	confronts	the	evil	spirit	in	a	huge	(	but	strangely	disappointing	)	special	effects	event	,	while	spouting	out	some	sort	of	strange	speech	about	family	values	!	as	i	stated	earlier	,	do	not	see	this	film	if	you	want	a	terrifying	horror	movie	.	it	simply	doesn't	inspire	much	fear	.	however	,	i	do	reccomend	it	simply	to	see	the	amazing	,	bone	chilling	sets	.	for	this	,	some	fine	visual	effects	,	and	some	good	acting	,	"	the	haunting	"	earns	three	and	a	half	stars	.	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	e	mail	with	comments	at	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jabii	aol	.	com	"	jabii	aol	.	com	a
pos	director	:	adrian	lyne	writer	:	stephen	schiff	(	based	on	the	novel	by	vladimir	nabokov	)	starring	:	jeremy	irons	,	dominique	swain	,	melanie	griffith	,	frank	langella	much	ballyhoo	has	been	made	over	this	new	version	of	"	lolita	,	"	made	in	a	time	when	one	would	think	that	a	faithful	adaptation	of	the	infamous	novel	could	be	made	,	over	its	use	of	pedophilia	,	and	as	such	,	it's	important	to	address	it	straight	forwardly	,	before	any	other	ideals	such	as	goodness	and	themes	can	be	discussed	,	as	this	film	has	been	in	film	limbo	for	a	number	of	years	,	lying	around	in	vaults	san	a	distributor	,	and	having	critics	waiting	to	either	hail	it	a	masterpiece	or	call	it	anticlimactic	horseshit	.	when	seeing	this	film	,	after	all	the	hoopla	,	keeping	in	mind	that	there	are	people	,	namely	me	,	who	are	fans	of	the	novel	,	who	have	been	eagerly	awaiting	this	flick	since	its	creation	.	.	.	well	,	you	just	have	to	wonder	why	no	one	really	picked	it	up	for	distribution	.	what's	even	worse	is	that	seeing	this	"	lolita	,	"	especially	the	first	time	and	if	you're	familiar	with	anything	"	lolita	,	"	is	admittingly	very	anticlimactic	.	this	is	a	real	pity	because	when	you	really	sit	down	to	watch	this	film	,	ignoring	all	the	crap	that	has	preceeded	it	,	it's	really	quite	a	film	,	perhaps	the	best	film	by	director	adrian	lyne	(	although	,	really	,	look	at	its	competition	:	"	flashdance	,	"	"	fatal	attraction	,	"	and	"	indecent	proposal	"	)	,	at	least	besides	"	jacob's	ladder	.	"	i've	seen	this	"	lolita	"	twice	:	the	first	time	,	i	wasn't	so	blown	away	.	it	seemed	overly	dramatic	and	surprisingly	unaffecting	.	the	second	time	,	not	really	thinking	about	how	i've	waited	for	what	seems	like	forever	to	see	it	and	how	i'm	seeing	it	on	a	tv	set	on	a	premium	cable	channel	and	not	a	giant	movie	theatre	,	it	really	affected	me	emotionally	.	the	story	itself	is	a	surprisingly	heartbreaking	one	,	which	is	why	it's	such	a	good	novel	,	and	why	this	is	such	a	good	film	.	the	story	of	a	pedophile	obsessed	with	a	young	14	year	old	girl	named	dolores	a	.	k	.	a	.	lolita	is	great	because	it's	not	trash	for	the	perverted	but	because	it's	about	human	obsession	with	things	that	are	out	of	one's	reach	.	its	protagonist	,	the	comically	named	humbert	humbert	,	is	not	your	average	pedophile	,	but	a	seriously	wounded	human	being	who	embodies	how	we	are	all	destroyed	by	our	sick	obsessions	and	idosyncrasies	.	the	character	of	lolita	is	almost	a	symbol	of	the	forbidden	apple	in	christian	mythology	,	something	that	will	destroy	us	but	that	we	can't	live	without	.	these	ideas	are	all	worked	into	this	film	nicely	,	but	done	in	a	way	that	is	not	heavy	handed	at	all	,	but	instead	lyrical	and	emotionally	devastating	.	the	focus	of	this	film	,	and	the	reason	for	making	it	,	it	seems	,	was	to	really	penetrate	the	emotional	depths	of	the	novel	and	bring	them	to	life	on	the	screen	in	beautifully	dramatic	images	,	and	scenes	which	are	blatantly	over	stylized	.	the	tone	of	the	book	is	a	comical	one	,	but	it's	also	a	tragic	one	,	and	humbert	,	telling	the	story	from	his	perspective	,	blows	every	single	thing	out	of	perspective	.	humbert	exists	in	a	fantsy	world	of	his	obsessions	and	desires	,	and	this	reflects	the	way	the	entire	film	has	been	designed	.	we	get	a	sense	that	perhaps	it's	by	doing	this	that	humbert	has	really	trapped	himself	into	a	fate	that	will	ultimately	leave	him	haggard	and	destroyed	.	he	weeps	uncontrollably	and	never	lets	himself	get	over	his	original	14	year	old	love	,	and	allows	himself	to	embody	her	as	lolita	.	he	lets	his	feelings	for	her	navigate	all	his	decisions	,	and	by	the	end	,	he	has	nothing	but	overly	dramatic	feelings	for	her	.	the	story	recognizes	the	extreme	of	this	,	almost	out	of	a	test	,	seeing	if	the	readers	will	really	sympathize	with	someone	who	is	socially	deemed	a	pervert	,	and	one	almost	wonders	while	reading	the	book	if	the	author	,	vladimir	nabokov	,	wrote	the	book	as	a	means	to	bring	into	focus	his	own	sick	obsessions	,	and	perhaps	bring	them	to	peace	.	the	weirdest	thing	about	this	film	is	that	by	the	end	,	when	humbert	has	reached	the	finale	of	his	obsessional	journey	,	we	can	easily	sympathize	and	even	identify	with	him	.	the	opening	and	final	images	of	the	film	are	the	same	,	and	who	hasn't	done	a	similar	action	,	that	is	wandering	about	without	any	sense	of	reality	or	anything	else	but	a	deep	sadness	in	us	?	this	is	the	second	time	the	novel	has	been	adapted	for	the	screen	,	the	first	time	being	filmed	in	shock	1962	,	by	stanley	kubrick	,	who	couldn't	possibly	have	brought	the	novel	to	the	screen	with	as	much	faithfulness	as	lyne	has	been	able	to	do	,	but	did	the	next	best	thing	:	he	economized	for	everything	and	came	up	with	a	droll	black	comedy	about	obsession	in	general	.	in	that	film	,	he	used	the	traps	of	society	as	benefits	.	the	studio	demanded	the	final	scene	,	that	of	a	heinous	murder	,	come	first	in	the	film	so	to	portray	humbert	first	as	a	murderer	and	second	as	a	pedophile	.	.	.	and	when	you	see	it	,	it	gives	the	film	depth	of	a	man	trapped	by	obsession	.	the	censors	wouldn't	allow	anymore	than	a	couple	glances	and	subtle	dialogue	to	show	the	,	um	,	relationship	between	humbert	and	lolita	,	so	kubrick	decided	to	play	it	as	comedy	,	but	still	allow	the	tragedy	to	seep	through	.	looking	at	these	two	versions	,	especially	after	reading	the	novel	(	and	we	all	know	that	when	we've	read	a	novel	and	see	a	film	adaptation	,	we	are	bound	to	be	angered	by	any	size	differences	)	,	it's	really	impossible	to	compare	them	.	they	both	go	for	different	things	,	and	one	has	a	lot	more	room	to	be	as	sexually	frank	as	the	novel	was	.	and	although	it's	true	that	several	scenes	are	similar	,	and	are	thus	up	for	comparison	,	overall	it's	unfair	to	say	which	one	is	better	and	which	one	is	worse	.	i	have	never	been	one	for	saying	the	level	of	greatness	of	a	film	adaptation	of	a	novel	is	deemed	by	how	faithful	it	is	,	and	i	won't	say	that	here	.	however	,	this	film	is	pretty	amazing	,	mostly	because	hey	,	i	loved	the	book	,	and	this	film	nearly	reminded	me	of	it	.	it	doesn't	have	nearly	as	much	wit	(	a	couple	comical	scenes	,	and	even	a	lot	of	good	chuckles	,	but	just	not	totally	witty	)	,	but	it	does	have	the	same	emotional	toll	that	the	novel	had	.	some	of	that	is	in	the	casting	of	the	two	leads	.	jeremy	irons	,	with	his	deep	,	soft	british	voice	and	gentle	look	,	is	an	amazing	humbert	.	he's	droll	in	a	very	unique	way	,	and	,	well	,	no	one	can	look	distraught	the	way	he	does	.	he	brings	a	wonderful	sympathy	to	the	role	that	goes	beyond	pathos	and	really	comes	up	as	being	easy	to	identify	with	the	audience	.	and	when	he	looks	at	lolita	with	love	,	and	she	looks	at	him	with	lust	,	you	know	that	he's	her	prisoner	for	as	long	as	he	lives	.	and	dominique	swain	,	who	plays	the	title	character	,	is	rather	incredible	.	she	pulls	off	the	tough	role	even	better	than	sue	lyon	did	in	the	original	,	wonderfully	balancing	the	qualities	of	seduction	,	bratiness	,	and	self	centeredness	that	marks	the	character	.	it's	easy	to	see	why	she	surrenders	to	humbert	:	she	loves	the	attention	,	and	knows	that	she	can	have	her	way	with	him	at	any	time	.	when	he	denies	her	something	,	she	blackmails	him	effortlessly	(	a	scene	involving	a	rocking	chair	and	a	little	foot	action	is	damn	near	classic	)	,	and	when	he	stands	up	to	her	,	she	weeps	and	runs	away	,	leaving	humbert	to	follow	her	.	there	are	two	other	minor	characters	in	the	film	,	one	who's	a	road	block	in	the	beginning	,	and	the	other	who's	a	reappearing	threat	to	the	relationship	.	the	former	is	charlotte	,	lolita's	mother	,	played	by	melanie	griffith	.	in	the	book	,	charlotte	is	a	monster	of	a	woman	:	overbearing	,	constantly	scolding	her	child	,	overly	religious	,	and	ultimately	selfish	.	and	she's	the	one	obstacle	humbert	has	to	overcome	to	obtain	his	goal	,	at	least	in	the	beginning	.	as	played	by	shelly	winters	in	the	original	,	she	represented	all	these	qualities	;	as	played	by	griffith	here	,	she's	about	half	of	them	.	it's	annoying	to	watch	a	film	and	play	a	game	where	you	try	to	see	who	could	have	done	the	role	way	better	than	the	one	on	screen	without	mentioning	the	actor	who	played	them	first	.	and	even	though	griffith	is	not	really	bad	,	persay	,	she's	nothing	more	.	the	other	is	clare	quilty	,	the	writer	who	is	also	trying	to	seduce	lolita	,	and	succeeds	,	but	at	a	price	.	langella	takes	a	totally	different	direction	than	the	one	peter	sellars	took	in	the	original	.	quilty	was	a	comic	character	in	the	original	:	a	threat	in	the	form	of	many	forms	,	popping	in	states	of	rambling	,	german	,	proning	,	and	eventually	drunk	.	langella	takes	the	other	route	,	allowing	all	of	the	creepiness	to	be	unearthed	,	and	the	result	is	a	character	who	exists	in	shadows	and	low	shots	,	and	who	meets	a	wonderfully	ironic	ending	,	the	exact	opposite	of	what	we	thought	of	him	.	as	you	can	see	,	most	of	these	are	not	improvements	or	mistakes	done	on	the	part	of	lyne	and	his	screenwriter	,	stephen	schiff	,	but	just	parts	of	a	whole	new	look	at	the	novel	,	at	least	cinema	wise	.	this	version	is	beautiful	,	and	perpetually	saddening	.	the	camera	movements	are	stylized	,	and	each	shot	is	breathtakingly	rich	.	the	acting	is	for	the	most	part	wonderful	,	and	when	we	watch	it	,	we	really	get	a	sense	that	for	humbert	,	who	is	telling	the	story	,	the	only	two	people	on	earth	most	of	the	time	were	humbert	and	lolita	.	more	importantly	,	it	takes	us	right	up	the	brink	of	emotion	,	then	jumps	right	over	it	.	by	the	end	,	with	humbert	sadly	driving	recklessly	in	his	car	,	following	what	he	says	is	the	only	part	of	his	life	he	doesn't	regret	,	we	feel	that	we	all	lose	to	something	we	can	never	have	.
pos	the	grandfather	of	italian	horror	the	late	mario	bava	has	credits	in	nearly	100	films	and	tv	movies	produced	in	italy	between	1939	and	his	death	in	the	early	80's	.	more	practiced	as	a	cinematographer	than	a	director	,	bava	nonetheless	sat	in	the	director's	chair	for	beyond	the	door	ii	,	the	project	which	turned	out	to	be	his	last	full	length	feature	film	.	alongside	the	appalling	zombie	schlock	of	hacks	like	lucio	fulci	,	beyond	the	door	ii	is	simply	a	revelation	.	in	his	day	bava	was	considered	by	most	to	be	no	great	filmmaker	,	yet	here	he	fashioned	one	of	the	finest	italian	horror	movies	of	the	1970's	.	(	note	that	the	film	has	no	connection	with	the	1975	exorcist	rip	off	behind	the	door	,	but	for	some	unexplained	reason	was	given	this	related	title	for	release	in	the	usa	and	australia	.	)	this	story	focuses	on	dora	,	a	women	set	upon	by	a	malevolent	spirit	that	channels	itself	through	her	young	son	marco	.	the	film	opens	with	dora	,	her	son	and	second	husband	bruno	returning	to	a	house	by	the	sea	that	was	the	scene	of	her	first	husband's	suicide	and	her	subsequent	trauma	7	years	earlier	.	they	hope	to	put	the	past	behind	them	,	but	as	small	accidents	start	to	befall	dora	usually	while	bruno	is	away	on	business	she	starts	to	suspect	that	marco	(	played	with	uncanny	ability	by	8	year	old	david	colin	jr	.	)	is	somehow	involved	in	the	strange	goings	on	.	to	reveal	any	more	of	the	story	would	be	unfair	.	suffice	to	say	that	this	artfully	paced	study	of	a	woman	suffering	a	nervous	breakdown	offers	an	intriguing	plot	,	loads	of	atmosphere	and	solid	acting	,	though	the	dialogue	is	somewhat	weakened	by	the	dubbing	into	english	.	bava	coaches	a	surprisingly	good	performance	from	the	usually	wooden	daria	nicolodi	,	wife	of	famed	italian	horror	director	dario	argento	.	her	character	is	invested	with	sufficient	depth	to	allow	the	audience	real	empathy	with	dora's	troubled	soul	.	the	music	by	italian	ensemble	libra	is	also	effective	,	mixing	odd	sounding	70's	rock	with	classic	gothic	piano	sequences	.	and	there	is	at	least	one	moment	brilliantly	engineered	by	bava	that	is	guaranteed	to	lift	you	ten	feet	out	of	your	chair	.	yet	for	italian	horror	,	the	bloodletting	here	is	surprisingly	minimal	.	lamberto	bava	and	francesco	barbieri's	script	is	more	concerned	with	deeper	,	psychological	terrors	,	with	themes	of	guilt	and	suffering	,	with	the	notion	that	what	we	sow	will	shall	somewhere	,	somehow	eventually	reap	.	scholars	of	the	genre	take	note	:	beyond	the	door	ii	is	stylish	,	chilling	,	and	essential	.
pos	nosferatu	:	the	first	vampire	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	)	(	life	is	harsh	;	your	website	shouldn't	be	.	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	set	7504	a	aka	film	freak	central	)	starring	max	schreck	,	gustav	von	wangenheim	,	greta	schroder	,	john	gottowt	written	by	henrik	galeen	directed	by	f	.	w	.	murnau	available	in	an	all	new	video	edition	from	arrow	entertainment	(	29	.	95	)	,	with	an	introduction	by	david	carradine	,	written	produced	by	wayne	j	.	keeley	f	.	w	.	murnau's	career	ended	sadly	and	prematurely	.	the	german	director	of	such	classics	as	"	sunrise	"	and	"	the	last	laugh	"	died	in	a	car	accident	shortly	after	signing	a	deal	to	make	american	pictures	at	paramount	.	murnau	was	reportedly	a	giant	man	,	well	over	six	feet	,	a	towering	figure	probably	incapable	of	anything	but	a	grand	entrance	.	which	brings	us	to	"	nosferatu	:	a	symphony	of	horror	"	:	surely	he	felt	a	kinship	with	his	title	character	,	the	looming	vampire	embodied	by	intimidating	max	schreck	;	in	one	of	the	most	indelible	images	in	film	history	,	silent	or	otherwise	,	schreck	rises	from	his	grave	,	gnarled	hands	outstretched	,	and	he's	so	big	that	part	of	his	head	is	cropped	by	the	top	of	the	frame	.	the	plot	of	"	nosferatu	.	.	.	"	is	lifted	unauthorized	from	bram	stoker's	"	dracula	"	.	the	british	hutter	is	an	eager	real	estate	man	assigned	to	visit	and	discuss	future	living	arrangements	with	count	orlock	of	transylvania	.	he	leaves	behind	girlfriend	emily	,	only	to	discover	orlock's	secret	he's	a	bloodsucker	and	struggle	to	return	to	england	before	the	nosferatu	reaches	his	lady	love	.	in	addition	to	schreck's	performance	,	the	cinematography	and	effects	are	outstanding	.	arrow	video's	digitally	remastered	version	of	the	classic	is	something	of	a	mixed	coffin	.	the	cover	art	features	a	red	tinted	,	hairy	,	goateed	vampire	staring	straight	at	you	,	his	fanged	mouth	agape	,	while	the	bodies	of	two	sexy	,	writhing	women	entice	you	below	.	trouble	is	,	murnau's	monster	is	pale	faced	,	bald	,	pointy	eared	,	and	non	goateed	,	and	there	isn't	a	single	sexy	,	writhing	woman	to	be	found	in	his	movie	.	this	sort	of	misleading	packaging	makes	little	sense	when	one	recalls	the	countless	number	of	ghouslish	scenes	in	the	film	from	which	cool	cover	art	could	have	been	extracted	.	additionally	,	notifying	the	viewer	that	this	is	in	fact	murnau's	film	seems	like	afterthought	since	his	name	and	the	genuine	title	are	written	in	small	print	below	our	goateed	vampire	.	that	said	,	a	good	mastering	job	has	been	performed	on	the	film	itself	.	the	original	elements	are	not	in	the	best	condition	non	studio	silents	were	unlucky	in	their	preservation	so	we're	still	dealing	with	a	slightly	washed	out	,	scratched	,	jittering	image	.	but	at	least	the	day	and	night	scenes	are	tinted	sepia	and	blue	,	respectively	,	especially	helpful	to	an	audience	who	may	question	nosferatu's	waltzing	around	during	what	seems	like	sunlight	(	it	took	a	lot	of	light	to	expose	stock	in	the	twenties	)	.	the	title	cards	have	been	redone	,	and	they	are	legible	,	accurate	,	and	digitally	altered	to	flicker	a	very	nice	touch	.	(	even	the	opening	copyright	warning	flickers	!	)	the	score	has	been	replaced	by	music	from	type	o	negative	,	a	hard	rock	group	,	arguably	gothic	,	and	their	songs	underscore	the	film	nicely	certainly	the	coolest	video	a	band	can	ask	for	.	when	our	hero	,	hutter	,	first	steps	onto	the	doomed	carriage	to	count	orlock's	castle	,	we	hear	a	well	timed	"	now	you're	dead	!	"	from	lead	singer	peter	steele	.	david	carradine	makes	an	appropriately	vampiric	host	;	he	fiddles	with	a	blade	and	cane	while	introducing	the	film	.	after	the	feature	,	which	runs	about	63	minutes	,	is	included	a	new	music	video	from	type	o	negative	,	the	black	and	white	fang	fest	"	black	no	.	1	"	.	of	course	,	"	nosferatu	:	a	symphony	of	horror	"	is	the	main	attraction	,	and	while	my	latest	viewing	raised	questions	(	why	is	the	woman	called	emily	in	the	title	cards	but	"	mina	"	as	bram	stoker	called	her	in	hutter's	letters	?	,	for	instance	)	,	it	made	me	realize	how	much	this	movie	has	inspired	and	been	stolen	from	.	coppola's	1992	"	bram	stoker's	dracula	"	owes	a	great	stylistic	debt	to	murnau's	masterpiece	,	but	the	one	thing	it	couldn't	thieve	was	the	original's	abstract	charms	.	this	latest	incarnation	from	arrow	will	probably	like	the	rescored	"	metropolis	"	a	few	years	back	turn	a	silent	film	into	more	palpable	entertainment	for	the	latest	generation	of	film	freaks	.
pos	dead	man	on	campus	(	m	)	.	(	mtv	paramount	uip	)	director	:	alan	cohn	stars	:	tom	everett	scott	,	mark	paul	gosselaar	,	poppy	montgomery	,	lochlyn	munro	,	randy	pearlstein	,	corey	page	,	alyson	hannigan	,	mari	morrow	,	jason	segel	,	dave	ruby	running	time	:	94	minutes	.	thankfully	,	this	unheralded	but	surprisingly	enjoyable	comedy	from	the	mtv	channel	eschews	most	of	the	clichs	of	the	adolescent	school	genre	.	there's	no	psycho	killer	slashing	his	way	through	a	hunky	cast	.	there's	no	getting	of	wisdom	through	the	pursuit	of	academic	excellence	.	there's	no	discovering	the	pain	of	first	love	.	there's	none	of	the	jocks	versus	the	nerds	stuff	.	there's	not	even	the	down	trodden	loser	who	eventually	becomes	a	hero	by	bringing	glory	to	his	school	through	unlikely	sporting	prowess	.	hell	,	there's	not	a	whiff	of	football	,	basketball	or	even	debating	here	.	keen	to	pursue	a	medical	career	,	honour	student	josh	(	tom	everett	scott	,	from	that	thing	you	do	and	the	appalling	an	american	werewolf	in	paris	,	etc	)	comes	to	daleman	college	on	a	scholarship	.	his	room	mates	are	anything	but	the	studious	types	.	kyle	(	jason	segel	)	is	a	repressed	former	catholic	boys'	school	graduate	who	suddenly	discovers	the	joys	of	sex	and	moves	out	.	cooper	(	mark	paul	gosselaar	,	from	tv	sitcom	saved	by	the	bell	,	etc	)	is	a	smooth	scam	artist	who	plans	to	do	anything	but	study	during	his	college	years	.	cooper	quickly	leads	josh	into	a	routine	of	heavy	partying	,	and	his	grades	quickly	drop	.	faced	with	losing	his	scholarship	,	josh	needs	to	turn	his	grades	around	.	meanwhile	,	cooper's	father	,	a	wealthy	business	man	who	runs	a	toilet	cleaning	company	,	promises	cooper	that	if	he	doesn't	graduate	he	will	learn	the	family	business	from	the	bottom	up	(	so	to	speak	)	.	the	pair	find	a	hint	of	salvation	through	an	arcane	and	almost	forgotten	college	by	law	that	guarantees	passing	grades	to	students	on	compassionate	grounds	if	their	roommate	suddenly	dies	.	the	hunt	is	on	for	the	pair	to	find	the	most	neurotic	,	potentially	suicidal	kid	in	school	and	move	him	into	their	room	before	pushing	him	over	the	edge	.	intensive	research	uncovers	three	likely	prospects	.	cliff	(	lochlyn	munro	)	,	a	true	party	animal	who	lives	dangerously	,	but	seems	invulnerable	;	buckley	(	randy	pearlstein	,	from	the	cowboy	way	,	etc	)	,	a	paranoid	schizophrenic	who	believes	everyone	is	out	to	get	him	,	especially	computer	billionaire	bill	gates	;	while	matt	(	aussie	actor	corey	page	,	from	heartbreak	high	,	etc	)	,	a	depressed	heavy	metal	rocker	,	is	not	quite	what	he	seems	.	dead	man	on	campus	takes	its	unusual	premise	from	a	famous	urban	legend	and	milks	it	for	laughs	.	given	the	subject	matter	,	there's	plenty	of	potential	for	a	wicked	black	comedy	,	but	first	time	feature	director	alan	cohn	keeps	proceedings	light	and	upbeat	.	there	are	plenty	of	funny	moments	throughout	,	and	the	film	unfolds	with	lots	of	slapstick	humour	and	energy	.	the	pace	picks	up	in	the	second	half	during	the	frantic	search	for	the	perfect	suicidal	room	mate	.	performances	are	more	than	adequate	for	this	type	of	film	,	although	gosselaar	brings	plenty	of	easy	going	charm	to	his	role	as	the	scheming	cooper	.	scott	also	brings	a	manic	energy	to	his	role	as	the	increasingly	frustrated	and	desperate	josh	.	produced	under	the	auspices	of	mtv	(	other	features	include	joe's	apartment	and	beavis	and	butthead	do	america	)	,	dead	man	on	campus	boasts	a	solid	soundtrack	of	cutting	edge	,	contemporary	rockers	.	dead	man	on	campus	is	not	a	cinematic	masterpiece	,	nor	does	it	have	pretensions	towards	having	anything	deep	and	meaningful	to	say	.	however	,	it	offers	plenty	to	satisfy	and	will	certainly	amuse	its	targeted	audience	.
pos	1	2	(	out	of	4	)	there	seem	to	be	two	reactions	to	dark	city	.	you	either	love	it	or	you	are	unimpressed	.	count	me	as	a	"	love	it	.	"	as	good	as	the	crow	and	spawn	are	,	dark	city	is	better	.	where	the	former	two	have	a	specific	comic	book	following	,	the	latter	is	an	original	work	with	the	potential	for	broader	appeal	.	it	has	a	similar	look	to	the	others	,	but	dark	city	is	much	more	thoughtful	and	much	less	violent	.	not	clever	or	complex	,	the	story	is	still	fascinating	,	like	a	selection	from	the	twilight	zone	.	a	man	(	rufus	sewell	)	is	awakened	in	his	bathtub	by	a	man	with	a	syringe	.	surprised	,	the	attacker	runs	off	.	the	dazed	man	gets	out	of	the	tub	and	finds	a	woman's	body	in	the	room	.	a	mysterious	caller	warns	him	to	leave	the	apartment	immediately	,	so	he	packs	some	clothes	and	leaves	,	never	sure	why	he's	leaving	or	what	he's	fleeing	.	ghoulish	figures	in	long	coats	recognize	the	man	and	chase	him	through	the	dark	city	,	hounding	him	like	figures	in	a	nightmare	.	an	odd	blast	of	willpower	allows	the	man	to	dream	himself	free	from	his	pursuers	long	enough	to	check	his	i	.	d	.	the	amnesiac	learns	that	he	is	not	dreaming	and	that	his	name	is	john	murdoch	.	now	if	only	he	could	remember	the	rest	of	his	life	.	.	.	.	dark	city	is	good	on	many	levels	.	first	,	the	look	of	the	movie	is	excellent	.	give	credit	to	production	designers	george	liddle	and	patrick	tatopolous	for	creating	a	coherent	look	from	diverse	elements	.	there	are	visual	elements	from	the	american	1920s	60s	,	mixed	with	dickens	era	urban	industrial	elements	.	it	is	all	pulled	together	in	a	sad	,	dark	look	reminiscent	of	the	diner	in	edward	hopper's	painting	,	nighthawks	.	proyas'	use	of	models	gives	an	appropriately	eerie	unreality	to	the	film's	world	(	for	not	only	does	the	audience	see	the	city	a	model	,	but	so	do	the	ghouls	)	.	the	look	is	like	a	cross	between	tim	burton's	batman	and	the	bleak	animation	of	the	brothers	quay	.	second	,	the	editing	of	the	film	is	good	.	the	pacing	is	on	track	,	and	the	plot	is	revealed	,	the	"	amnesia	"	explained	,	in	satisfying	increments	.	also	,	the	stylized	editing	within	each	scene	gives	the	movie	a	tense	,	caffeinated	look	.	third	,	the	special	effects	are	well	used	.	they	look	good	,	but	more	importantly	,	the	right	effects	are	used	for	the	right	job	.	one	example	stands	out	in	my	mind	:	the	coated	figures	who	haunt	the	city	can	attack	telekinetically	.	a	simple	ripple	effect	is	used	.	a	more	showy	effect	could	have	been	chosen	,	but	then	it	would	have	just	been	gratuitous	.	restraint	was	shown	where	necessary	,	letting	the	more	critical	effects	look	more	impressive	.	finally	,	like	gattaca	,	dark	city	spends	a	just	a	little	effort	striving	for	mythical	significance	.	unlike	gattaca	,	the	story	is	just	open	ended	and	non	literal	enough	to	be	successful	.	john	murdoch's	recovery	from	amnesia	is	tied	to	the	passing	of	the	night	,	and	the	hopeful	coming	of	the	dawn	.	his	struggle	with	amnesia	is	both	figuratively	and	literally	the	struggle	of	all	mankind	(	at	least	in	his	world	)	.	when	we	finally	see	the	big	picture	of	the	movie's	world	,	it	is	as	mysterious	as	the	iroquois	image	of	the	world	being	carried	on	the	back	of	a	giant	turtle	.	a	few	minor	flaws	keep	me	from	giving	this	movie	the	same	perfect	score	roger	ebert	gave	,	but	i	do	strongly	recommend	it	,	for	its	look	,	its	pace	,	its	story	,	and	its	timelessness	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	rat	race	(	2001	)	whoopi	goldberg	,	john	cleese	,	cuba	gooding	jr	.	,	rowan	atkinson	,	jon	lovitz	,	kathy	najimy	,	seth	green	,	breckin	meyer	,	amy	smart	,	wayne	knight	,	paul	rodriguez	,	vince	vieluf	,	lanai	chapman	,	dean	cain	,	dave	thomas	,	kathy	bates	(	uncredited	)	.	written	by	andy	breckman	.	directed	by	jerry	zucker	.	112	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	4	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	after	watching	"	rat	race	"	last	week	,	i	noticed	my	cheeks	were	sore	and	realized	that	,	when	not	laughing	aloud	,	i	had	held	a	grin	for	virtually	all	of	the	film's	112	minutes	.	saturday	night	,	i	attended	another	sneak	preview	for	the	movie	and	damned	if	i	didn't	enjoy	it	as	much	the	second	time	as	the	first	.	"	rat	race	"	is	a	great	goofy	delight	,	a	dandy	mix	of	energetic	performances	,	inspired	sight	gags	and	flat	out	silliness	.	hands	down	,	this	is	the	most	fun	film	of	the	summer	.	the	movie	begins	with	zippy	retro	style	opening	credits	that	look	like	they	were	torn	straight	out	of	a	'60s	slapstick	comedy	,	featuring	animated	photos	of	the	cast	attached	to	herky	jerky	bodies	bounding	around	the	screen	.	then	comes	the	setup	.	donald	sinclair	(	john	cleese	)	,	the	extremely	rich	owner	of	the	venetian	hotel	and	casino	in	las	vegas	,	enjoys	concocting	unusual	bets	for	his	high	rolling	clients	.	to	that	end	,	he	places	a	half	dozen	very	special	tokens	in	his	slot	machines	.	gathering	together	the	lucky	token	holders	,	he	explains	,	"	today	you	have	a	chance	to	play	a	game	where	the	odds	of	winning	are	one	in	six	.	"	the	competition	is	simple	:	each	contestant	gets	a	key	that	opens	a	locker	in	silver	city	,	n	.	m	.	,	containing	2	million	in	cash	.	there	is	a	transmitter	in	every	key	,	so	that	sinclair	and	his	cronies	can	keep	track	of	who	is	ahead	.	the	race	has	no	rules	whichever	contestant	reaches	the	locker	first	gets	the	money	.	since	it	would	be	wrong	to	spoil	any	of	the	jokes	,	let's	use	the	next	few	paragraphs	to	profile	the	racers	.	decked	out	in	flashy	,	trashy	clothing	and	sporting	big	hair	,	vera	baker	(	whoopi	goldberg	)	is	in	town	to	reunite	with	the	daughter	she	gave	up	for	adoption	as	a	baby	.	she	finds	that	grown	up	merrill	(	lanai	chapman	)	is	erudite	,	conservative	and	more	than	a	little	bit	wary	of	this	stranger	trying	to	jump	into	her	life	.	thrown	together	,	it	becomes	clear	that	both	women	share	a	fierce	competitive	nature	.	owen	templeton	(	cuba	gooding	jr	.	)	is	currently	the	most	hated	man	in	america	.	an	nfl	referee	,	he	cost	gamblers	all	over	the	country	enormous	amounts	of	money	by	blowing	a	call	in	a	high	profile	game	.	after	escaping	from	a	vengeful	cab	driver	,	owen	gets	to	new	mexico	by	masquerading	as	the	driver	for	a	busload	of	lucy	ricardo	impersonators	heading	to	a	convention	.	mr	.	pollini	(	rowan	atkinson	)	is	a	cheerful	,	odd	little	italian	man	on	holiday	in	america	.	he	also	is	narcoleptic	and	falls	asleep	at	the	most	inopportune	times	.	pollini	hitches	a	ride	with	zack	(	wayne	knight	)	,	a	hyper	tense	ambulance	driver	carrying	a	human	heart	across	country	for	a	transplant	operation	.	randy	pear	(	jon	lovitz	)	promised	his	wife	beverly	(	kathy	najimy	)	and	two	kids	a	fun	filled	vacation	in	las	vegas	.	fearful	that	beverly	will	be	angry	over	his	involvement	in	the	race	,	he	claims	that	he	must	travel	to	silver	city	for	a	job	interview	.	beverly	insists	the	family	stay	together	,	so	they	hop	in	the	mini	van	and	tear	off	into	the	desert	.	brothers	duane	(	seth	green	)	and	blaine	(	vince	vieluf	)	cody	are	young	,	crooked	and	stupid	.	blaine	has	a	speech	impediment	due	to	his	poorly	self	done	tongue	piercing	,	and	duane	is	the	only	person	who	can	come	close	to	understanding	him	.	the	boys	will	stop	at	nothing	to	reach	their	goal	.	finally	,	nick	shaffer	(	breckin	meyer	)	is	a	no	nonsense	lawyer	in	training	who	recruits	helicopter	pilot	tracy	faucet	(	amy	smart	)	for	the	journey	.	at	first	glance	,	they	seem	blandly	wholesome	,	but	all	that	changes	when	tracy	buzzes	the	home	of	her	boyfriend	shawn	(	dean	cain	)	and	spies	him	swimming	with	another	woman	.	director	jerry	zucker	(	"	airplane	,	"	"	ghost	"	)	leaps	from	racer	to	racer	,	periodically	returning	to	las	vegas	where	sinclair	and	mr	.	grisham	(	dave	thomas	)	,	his	personality	impaired	right	hand	man	,	continue	cooking	up	bizarre	bets	for	the	gamblers	.	as	with	any	zucker	production	,	a	few	jokes	fall	flat	,	but	the	momentum	of	the	comedy	zooms	past	those	missteps	.	high	points	for	me	include	a	bit	involving	kathy	bates	as	a	roadside	squirrel	salesperson	and	an	intricately	set	up	gag	that	carries	jon	lovitz	and	family	from	a	bizarre	museum	to	an	outdoor	rally	,	with	an	utterly	tasteless	and	screamingly	funny	pay	off	.	had	i	been	part	of	the	filmmaking	team	,	i	would	have	ditched	a	joke	where	a	key	is	dropped	into	a	baby's	clothes	and	instead	had	the	key	get	lost	in	the	cleavage	of	a	dozing	society	matron	.	it	would	have	drawn	the	same	laugh	without	the	squirm	inducing	hint	of	child	molestation	.	i	also	would	have	selected	a	different	band	for	a	concert	sequence	.	my	god	,	do	we	really	need	yet	another	movie	with	smash	mouth	performing	"	all	star	?	"	but	enough	carping	.	"	rat	race	"	is	a	riot	,	with	terrific	no	holds	barred	performances	from	the	diverse	cast	.	see	it	,	see	it	again	and	when	the	dvd	comes	out	,	buy	it	,	because	a	movie	this	hilarious	will	surely	have	outtakes	to	die	for	.
pos	the	butcher	boy	(	r	)	1	2	(	out	of	)	no	film	in	recent	has	left	me	with	such	conflicted	feelings	as	neil	jordan's	harrowing	,	humorous	,	horrifying	adaptation	of	patrick	mccabe's	novel	about	young	lad	francie	brady's	(	eamonn	owens	)	descent	into	madness	in	1960s	ireland	.	on	one	hand	,	it	was	difficult	for	me	to	become	invested	in	francie's	story	because	he	is	such	an	unsavory	character	,	unjustifyably	venting	his	rage	at	his	nosy	but	otherwise	harmless	neighbor	mrs	.	nugent	(	fiona	shaw	)	.	on	another	hand	,	i	found	it	difficult	to	laugh	at	some	of	francie's	darkly	comic	shenanigans	because	he	obviously	is	such	a	sick	,	needy	child	,	having	been	raised	by	a	drunken	father	(	stephen	rea	)	and	a	suicidal	mother	(	aisling	o'sullivan	)	.	on	yet	another	hand	,	i	also	found	it	difficult	to	completely	sympathize	with	francie	during	his	more	emotional	scenes	because	some	of	his	,	for	lack	of	a	better	word	,	"	bad	"	deeds	are	so	incredibly	shocking	in	their	brutality	and	the	malicious	glee	in	which	he	performs	them	.	however	,	the	butcher	boy's	power	is	undeniable	,	and	the	film	as	a	whole	is	unforgettable	perhaps	because	it	is	so	disturbing	.	what	makes	it	so	unsettling	is	the	francie's	overall	wink	wink	yet	matter	of	fact	attitude	about	everything	,	expressed	in	a	cheeky	voiceover	narration	delivered	by	the	adult	francie	(	rea	again	)	.	think	heavenly	creatures	played	largely	for	laughs	,	and	you'll	sort	of	understand	.	anchoring	the	whole	film	is	the	astonishing	debut	performance	of	owens	;	love	francie	or	hate	him	,	you	cannot	take	your	eyes	off	of	owens	.	the	butcher	boy	truly	is	a	twisted	,	unusual	film	that	is	bound	to	make	just	about	anyone	uncomfortable	.	in	the	lobby	after	the	screening	,	i	overheard	one	man	raving	about	how	great	yet	disturbing	it	was	;	i	also	heard	one	particularly	offended	woman	say	with	disgust	,	"	that	movie	was	so	unfunny	!	"
pos	starring	brendan	fraser	,	rachel	weisz	,	john	hannah	and	arnold	vosloo	director	stephen	sommers	rated	14a	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a	what	do	you	get	when	you	combine	old	fashioned	indiana	jones	style	adventure	with	modernized	special	effects	?	well	,	the	result	would	look	something	like	the	mummy	.	sort	of	.	for	hidden	behind	all	the	action	,	gun	fire	and	spiritual	malarkey	you'd	expect	lies	a	very	goofy	foundation	.	as	the	opening	scene	suggests	,	this	remake	often	relies	on	self	parody	and	comic	timing	just	as	much	as	it	does	with	it's	adventurous	tone	.	the	movie	begins	in	ancient	egypt	,	where	a	priest	named	imhotep	(	arnold	vosloo	)	is	fooling	around	with	the	pharaoh's	daughter	.	the	grisly	consequences	entail	that	imhotep	be	wrapped	in	bandages	and	incarcerated	for	eternity	in	his	tight	fitting	sarcophagus	.	he	is	buried	with	a	terrible	curse	:	anyone	who	wakes	him	will	suffer	the	10	plagues	of	egypt	,	and	will	be	used	as	spare	parts	for	reanimation	purposes	.	sure	enough	,	in	1920	,	two	expedition	teams	have	set	out	to	find	the	treasure	at	humunaptra	(	the	legendary	city	of	the	dead'	)	.	one	is	led	by	rick	o'connell	(	brendan	fraser	)	,	a	rag	tag	legion	soldier	who	knows	how	to	handle	himself	.	accompanying	him	is	a	hieroglyphics	reading	librarian	(	rachel	weisz	)	and	her	smart	mouth	brother	(	john	hannah	)	.	then	,	of	course	,	they	awake	the	title	character	.	soon	enough	,	flesh	eating	scarab	beetles	,	pesky	locusts	and	walking	corpses	are	after	them	,	and	imhotep	is	out	to	reconstruct	himself	and	resurrect	his	mummified	bride	.	the	special	effects	in	the	mummy	are	not	seamlessly	blended	into	the	atmosphere	,	but	they	are	rather	excellent	;	the	wall	of	sand'	effect	towards	the	finale	is	particularly	effective	.	fraser	looks	surprisingly	suited	to	this	newfound	role	,	and	watching	his	form	strikes	just	the	right	balance	in	this	ridiculously	enjoyable	adventure	comedy	romance	horror	yes	,	it's	complete	funhouse	of	a	movie	.	director	stephen	sommers	is	much	better	when	it	comes	to	adventure	(	the	jungle	book	)	than	horror	(	deep	rising	)	,	which	is	why	i	am	glad	he	put	such	a	unique	spin	on	this	classic	remake	.	the	jokes	fly	fast	and	furious	,	mostly	derived	from	hannah's	spirited	performance	and	the	presence	of	kevin	j	.	o'connor	as	the	leader	of	the	second	expedition	.	i'm	embarrassed	to	say	it	,	but	i	did	laugh	more	than	once	.	okay	,	several	times	.	even	so	,	the	consistent	,	familiar	punchlines	grow	seriously	old	as	the	movie	progresses	.	the	mummy	is	just	stupid	fun	,	no	more	.	fraser	has	battles	with	the	bandaged	monsters	,	slicing	off	limbs	with	a	delightful	goofiness	that	seems	closely	akin	to	sam	raimi's	evil	dead	movies	.	if	you	want	a	blockbuster	full	of	thrills	and	chills	,	this	is	not	the	movie	to	see	.	the	mummy	is	silly	,	stereotypical	,	but	above	all	,	it's	totally	enjoyable	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a
pos	film	adaptation	of	hunter	s	.	thompson's	infamous	semi	autobiographical	hallucinogen	fueled	book	of	the	same	title	.	director	terry	gilliam	of	twelve	monkeys	(	8	10	)	and	brazil	(	7	10	)	fame	,	took	over	the	helm	of	this	project	after	fellow	director	alex	cox	(	sid	and	nancy	(	7	.	5	10	)	)	"	apparently	alienated	everyone	associated	with	the	movie	"	,	according	to	gilliam	.	plot	:	writer	thompson	(	depp	)	heads	down	to	las	vegas	with	his	attorney	dr	.	gonzo	(	del	toro	)	to	cover	a	motorcycle	race	.	during	their	trip	,	they	systematically	consume	"	two	bags	of	grass	,	seventy	five	pellets	of	mescaline	,	five	sheets	of	high	powered	blotter	acid	,	a	salt	shaker	half	full	of	cocaine	,	a	whole	galaxy	of	multi	colored	uppers	,	downers	,	screamers	,	laughers	,	a	quart	of	tequila	,	a	quart	of	rum	,	a	case	of	beer	,	a	pint	of	raw	ether	and	two	dozen	amyls	.	the	movie	presents	us	with	the	results	of	that	heavy	drug	use	.	critique	:	i	have	given	this	movie	two	separate	ratings	because	i	believe	that	the	enjoyment	of	this	psychedelic	picture	is	highly	correlated	with	the	amount	of	drugs	or	alcohol	that	would	be	floating	around	in	the	viewer's	own	mind	,	whilst	inhaling	this	cinematic	vision	of	excess	.	if	you	are	prepared	to	get	high	or	intoxicated	before	watching	this	film	,	i	would	say	that	this	is	one	picture	that	you	will	thoroughly	enjoy	on	a	multitude	of	colorful	levels	.	if	,	on	the	other	hand	,	you	decide	to	stray	from	the	addition	of	nefarious	elements	to	your	system	,	i	could	not	imagine	you	truly	appreciating	much	of	this	drug	induced	picture's	entire	ride	(	5	.	5	10	for	all	those	sober	dogs	)	.	note	:	i	have	not	read	thompson's	book	.	having	said	that	,	joblo	did	engage	in	an	alcohol	based	consumatory	session	before	(	and	during	)	the	viewing	of	this	film	,	so	his	critique	of	the	film	should	be	appreciated	on	that	level	.	this	movie	relies	heavily	on	style	and	peculiar	humour	,	rather	than	substance	or	plot	.	it	moves	admirably	from	one	scene	to	the	next	,	without	much	basis	of	their	being	,	while	presenting	us	with	the	two	days	in	the	life	of	writer	hunter	s	.	thompson	during	which	he	seemed	to	consume	more	drugs	and	alcohol	than	anyone	could	ever	imagine	.	it	was	1971	,	and	the	times	were	apparently	"	a'	changing	"	in	the	states	.	johnny	depp	chews	into	his	role	like	an	overgrown	child	sucking	on	a	chocolate	lollipop	.	during	the	filming	,	depp	apparently	become	fast	friends	with	real	life	writer	thompson	,	and	was	known	to	wander	off	the	set	from	time	to	time	,	for	the	sake	of	checking	out	the	newest	barmaid	at	the	local	watering	hole	.	i	thought	he	did	seem	to	exaggerate	his	walk	a	little	bit	too	much	,	but	then	again	,	this	movie	is	supposed	to	be	a	wild	exaggeration	of	everything	and	anything	,	so	who	am	i	to	talk	.	the	one	thing	that	did	blow	my	mind	was	the	actual	physical	transformation	endured	by	actor	benicio	del	toro	for	his	role	as	dr	.	gonzo	.	i	couldn't	believe	that	this	fat	,	samoan	lawyer	,	was	the	same	guy	who	played	the	slick	mumbling	criminal	in	the	usual	suspects	(	7	.	5	10	)	.	word	on	the	street	is	that	gained	over	40	pounds	for	this	role	,	and	i	must	say	that	his	look	was	deliciously	reprehensible	.	plenty	of	cameos	also	pepper	this	kaleidoscopic	moving	picture	in	the	form	of	ellen	barkin	,	christina	ricci	,	tobey	maguire	and	cameron	diaz	,	along	with	a	bunch	of	others	.	other	than	that	,	the	soundtrack	was	expectedly	eclectic	,	the	style	was	not	as	wild	as	i	thought	it	would	be	,	and	the	ending	was	certainly	not	much	of	a	barn	burner	,	but	then	again	,	who	really	noticed	.	this	movie	is	about	visions	of	bats	floating	through	your	head	,	johnny	depp	looking	goofy	and	being	bald	,	and	the	cornucopia	of	drug	ravaged	scenes	filling	your	own	intoxicated	system	with	ideas	of	anarchy	,	rebellion	and	the	lost	american	dream	.	and	for	all	those	who	plan	on	seeing	this	movie	without	the	partnership	of	a	mean	drink	or	a	mighty	doobie	,	i	suggest	you	move	further	down	the	aisle	,	buy	yourself	a	ticket	to	godzilla	(	6	10	)	,	and	enjoy	the	visual	fabrications	manufactured	for	the	unstimulated	mind	.	little	known	facts	:	depp	and	del	toro	snorted	plenty	of	powdered	milk	instead	of	cocaine	.	bill	murray	also	portrayed	a	thompson	based	character	in	the	film	where	the	buffalo	roam	.	johnny	depp	turned	down	roles	in	the	three	musketeers	,	speed	(	7	.	5	10	)	,	and	legends	of	the	fall	(	7	.	5	10	)	,	for	smaller	and	quirkier	roles	in	benny	and	joon	(	6	.	5	10	)	and	what's	eating	gilbert	grape	?	(	7	10	)	.	in	1988	,	depp	told	rolling	stone	magazine	that	he'd	tried	every	drug	by	the	age	of	14	.	johnny	hung	out	with	some	of	the	members	of	oasis	while	filming	the	uncompleted	divine	rapture	in	ireland	,	and	later	played	some	slide	guitar	on	the	1997	album	,	be	here	now	.	johnny	was	born	in	kentucky	,	is	a	high	school	dropout	,	has	nicknamed	himself	"	mr	.	stench	"	,	has	been	engaged	to	four	women	until	now	(	including	actress	winona	ryder	,	whose	"	winona	forever	"	tattoo	had	to	be	altered	to	"	wino	forever	"	after	their	breakup	)	,	currently	plays	guitar	in	a	band	called	"	p	"	,	and	owns	the	viper	room	nightclub	in	l	.	a	.	hr	visit	joblo's	movie	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	a
pos	as	good	as	it	gets	1	4	.	directed	by	james	l	.	brooks	.	written	by	brooks	and	mark	andrus	from	a	story	by	andrus	.	photography	,	john	bailey	.	editing	,	richard	marks	.	production	design	,	bill	brzeski	.	produced	by	james	l	.	brooks	,	kristi	zea	and	bridget	johnson	.	cast	:	jack	nicholson	,	helen	hunt	,	greg	kinnear	,	cuba	gooding	,	jr	.	,	skeet	ulrich	,	shirley	knight	,	et	al	.	.	a	tristar	release	.	132	minutes	.	pg	13	.	breaking	news	:	this	movie	has	swept	the	golden	globes	awards	in	the	musical	or	comedy	category	:	best	picture	.	best	actor	(	jack	nicholson	)	.	best	actress	(	helen	hunt	)	now	playing	,	the	shaggy	dog	film	"	wag	the	dog	"	is	dogless	.	also	playing	is	"	as	good	as	it	gets	"	in	which	a	real	shaggy	dog	a	rare	brussels	griffon	steals	scenes	and	becomes	the	agent	of	major	changes	.	its	name	is	verdell	,	which	i	first	took	for	"	fidel	,	"	which	made	me	expect	a	partly	political	film	,	which	it	isn't	.	fitting	no	pigeonhole	category	,	it	comes	closest	to	a	socio	psychological	comedy	drama	.	"	as	good	"	also	stars	jack	nicholson	,	in	top	para	satanic	and	aggressive	form	,	circumflex	eyebrows	,	hooded	eyes	ranking	with	the	best	(	victor	mature's	,	bob	mitchum's	)	,	incongruous	tan	for	a	new	yorker	(	but	no	one	yet	has	ever	been	able	to	challenge	the	deep	bronzing	of	douglas	fairbanks	,	sr	)	and	his	bag	of	eccentricities	at	an	apex	.	the	movie	has	both	originality	and	well	crafted	,	deja	filmed	mainstream	appeal	.	peripherally	,	it	is	a	distant	variant	on	beauty	and	the	beast	,	the	taming	of	the	shrew	(	with	sexes	reversed	)	.	centrally	,	it	is	a	showcase	for	the	talents	of	nicholson	and	helen	hunt	.	melvin	udall	(	nicholson	)	is	a	misanthropic	,	bilious	,	hypochondriac	,	reclusive	mega	nut	.	his	manias	include	always	washing	with	a	fresh	cake	of	soap	;	walking	to	the	same	restaurant	daily	at	11	am	for	a	giga	cholesterol	breakfast	at	"	his	"	table	served	by	"	his	"	waitress	;	bringing	his	own	plastic	knives	and	forks	;	wearing	disposable	surgical	gloves	;	avoiding	brushing	against	people	or	stepping	on	sidewalk	cracks	.	all	of	this	,	plus	more	quirks	,	is	apparently	explained	by	his	suffering	from	obsessive	compulsive	disorder	.	that's	bad	enough	,	but	melvin	is	a	pain	in	every	other	way	too	.	he's	a	champion	people	insulter	and	,	among	other	lovely	traits	,	homophobic	,	african	american	fearing	,	and	a	jew	and	everybody	else	equal	opportunity	hater	.	this	includes	animals	.	the	action	begins	with	mel	(	who	probably	hates	his	parents	for	his	name	)	throwing	his	neighbor's	beloved	pooch	verdell	down	the	laundry	chute	.	the	neighbor	,	simon	(	kinnear	)	is	a	successful	painter	,	whose	art	dealer	friend	is	a	classy	african	american	named	with	originality	frank	sachs	(	gooding	)	.	both	are	gay	,	but	not	that	you	could	tell	.	the	other	major	"	dramatis	persona	"	is	carol	(	hunt	)	,	mel's	habitual	,	suffering	,	and	onlywaitress	acceptable	to	mel	at	the	restaurant	.	she	is	a	single	mother	with	a	dangerously	asthmatic	boy	,	lives	with	him	her	mother	(	knight	)	in	far	off	brooklyn	,	trudging	to	and	fro	exhausted	by	her	waitressing	and	her	motherly	duties	.	when	simon	is	brutally	beaten	up	by	invading	,	thieving	street	hoods	,	and	taken	to	the	hospital	,	frank	sticks	mel	with	the	dog	in	a	way	that	mel	cannot	refuse	.	predictably	,	grudgingly	(	and	unconvincingly	)	,	the	writer	and	the	canine	fall	for	each	other	.	did	i	say	"	writer	"	?	yes	,	that's	what	mel	does	for	a	living	,	composing	romances	for	female	readership	and	making	lots	of	money	from	his	62	or	so	purple	prose	novels	.	the	contrast	between	his	profession	and	his	character	is	absurd	,	rates	an	f	for	credibility	.	mel	explains	his	knowing	portrayals	of	women	by	:	"	i	think	of	a	man	,	then	i	take	away	reason	and	accountability	.	"	this	adds	gynecophobia	to	the	list	,	makes	us	think	of	mel	as	a	virgin	(	?	?	!	!	)	and	simply	won't	wash	.	upon	his	return	from	the	hospital	,	simon	finds	himself	broke	:	he	has	no	health	insurance	(	a	real	tragedy	for	so	many	self	employed	)	,	his	medical	bill	is	over	60	,	000	,	his	art	has	been	vandalized	,	his	will	to	paint	has	vanished	,	he	is	losing	his	apartment	.	but	look	what	animal	companionship	can	do	for	people	!	increasingly	human	and	humane	mel	comes	to	the	rescue	.	and	by	some	intricate	plot	devices	,	he	also	delivers	carol	and	her	son	from	the	evil	of	uncaring	doctors	and	medical	bills	.	it's	artificial	plotting	but	while	you	are	watching	it	,	it	is	also	warm	,	lovely	and	well	acted	.	all	the	while	,	of	course	,	mel	is	falling	for	carol	.	but	the	new	mel	dies	hard	.	when	he	introduces	his	friends	to	one	another	he	says	:	"	carol	the	waitress	.	simon	the	fag	.	"	i'll	stop	here	.	nicholson	,	in	spite	of	his	improbable	role	,	is	nicholson	,	meaning	as	good	as	ever	,	even	better	perhaps	.	no	surprise	here	.	the	real	revelation	is	helen	hunt	.	i	have	never	cared	much	for	her	flimsy	,	parts	in	tv's	"	mad	about	you	,	"	and	while	she	has	many	more	credits	,	too	many	of	them	were	in	unmemorable	productions	.	she	was	finally	top	listed	in	her	previous	film	"	twister	"	(	1996	)	,	but	her	role	was	pallid	.	now	finally	helen	hunt	has	come	into	her	own	.	without	bravura	or	pointedly	dramatic	or	humorous	scenes	and	repartees	,	without	prettifying	makeup	or	sexy	clothes	,	without	scene	stealing	episodes	,	hunt	does	steal	the	whole	movie	.	in	one	of	the	most	amazing	transformations	in	recent	cinema	,	she	makes	palpable	her	struggle	with	life	and	conditions	,	her	exhaustion	as	waitress	,	caring	mom	,	commuter	and	debtor	in	splendidly	veristic	ways	.	we	learn	nothing	about	the	father	of	her	child	,	or	for	that	matter	about	the	earlier	carol	,	yet	she	is	three	dimensional	both	in	her	sadness	,	depression	,	lack	of	men	in	her	life	as	well	as	in	her	moments	of	humor	and	happiness	.	cannily	,	the	script	adds	rounding	off	carol	through	a	funny	turning	unfunny	interlude	with	a	lover	who	vanishes	.	aged	beyond	her	34	years	,	not	especially	pretty	by	ordinary	standards	,	she	is	enormously	likable	,	appealing	,	real	and	,	yes	,	even	sexy	.	she	also	strikes	very	believably	at	hmos	and	the	medical	profession	,	though	the	"	deus	ex	machina	"	introduction	of	a	wise	,	wonderful	doctor	restores	some	balance	.	yet	,	what	with	simon's	lack	of	insurance	,	a	strong	case	is	made	against	our	health	system	.	multiple	oscar	winning	writer	director	producer	brooks	had	previously	directed	"	terms	of	endearment	,	"	"	broadcast	news	"	and	the	notorious	"	i'll	do	anything	,	"	which	,	filmed	as	a	musical	,	failed	in	previews	and	had	to	come	out	as	a	non	musical	.	even	so	,	the	latter	is	my	favorite	brooks	movie	,	partly	because	of	its	superb	direction	of	actors	.	now	brooks	repeats	his	tour	de	force	with	helen	hunt	.	no	matter	how	iffy	the	tale	,	the	performances	make	it	a	winner	.
pos	henry	fool	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	,	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	(	now	with	trivia	;	film	,	dvd	,	ld	reviews	;	a	section	where	you	can	recommend	movies	;	fabric	softener	;	and	much	more	!	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	a	new	address	.	new	attitude	.	same	crappy	writing	.	)	it	is	often	said	by	his	fans	that	hal	hartley	movies	are	an	acquired	taste	.	indeed	.	while	perhaps	less	dangerous	than	tequila	shooters	or	bungee	jumping	,	they	require	no	less	amount	of	physical	stamina	and	concentration	.	i	felt	rewarded	at	the	end	of	henry	fool	;	this	movie	creeps	up	on	you	at	a	slow	139	minutes	,	i	mean	creeps	and	despite	the	final	shot's	ambiguity	,	i	left	completely	satisfied	.	henry	fool	(	"	used	to	have	an	e'	"	)	arrives	at	garbageman	simon	grim's	house	,	claims	the	vacant	basement	apartment	,	and	almost	instantly	inspires	simon	(	urbaniak	)	to	take	up	writing	henry	(	martin	donovan	look	alike	ryan	)	is	an	ex	convict	,	a	once	great	author	who	has	been	"	exiled	and	marginalized	"	by	the	publishing	community	because	of	his	criminal	activity	.	simon's	poetry	turns	him	into	a	local	sensation	,	as	it	causes	mute	women	to	sing	,	high	school	girls	to	swoon	,	and	councilmen	to	rile	against	its	"	pornographic	"	content	.	meanwhile	,	henry	seduces	both	simon's	dependent	mother	(	porter	)	and	immature	sister	(	sundance	queen	posey	)	with	philosophical	babble	(	which	is	by	turns	brilliant	and	inane	)	and	breathy	animal	lust	.	these	story	elements	result	in	climaxes	both	inevitable	and	unpredictable	;	the	teacher	student	relationship	formed	between	henry	and	simon	eventually	reverses	itself	.	henry	fool	is	sprinkled	with	hartley	ian	flourishes	:	simon	drinks	milk	from	"	udderley's	"	;	the	big	teen	hang	out	is	called	"	world	of	donuts	"	;	simon	wears	his	garbageman's	uniform	throughout	;	the	editing	style	is	decidedly	elliptical	.	.	.	(	which	is	key	to	the	conclusion's	said	ambiguity	)	.	the	performances	by	the	three	leads	are	abrasive	at	first	,	self	consciously	"	quirky	"	;	the	introductory	scenes	are	a	chore	.	these	people	do	grow	on	you	because	they	convey	genuine	passion	,	a	belief	in	themselves	,	and	because	they	have	long	term	goals	;	henry	and	simon	may	drink	a	lot	of	budweiser	and	hang	out	on	the	streetcorner	,	but	they	aren't	pop	slackers	.	the	story	is	rather	classical	:	the	tutor	is	a	better	talker	than	a	doer	,	raised	on	books	;	the	timid	tutee	has	innate	talent	his	master	only	dreams	of	.	(	shades	of	film	school	.	.	.	)	the	finished	film	is	epic	in	its	proportions	for	a	story	so	small	,	and	the	final	third	does	test	one's	patience	,	yet	henry	fool	is	tight	,	hardly	excessive	in	its	length	.	how	refreshing	to	see	a	movie	this	long	in	1998	devoted	entirely	to	character	.	and	unless	i	nodded	off	,	not	a	single	building	exploded	.	this	,	hartley's	seventh	feature	,	is	contemplative	about	"	the	artist	"	;	fortunately	,	we	never	get	a	sampling	of	simon's	work	,	and	it's	a	testament	to	the	actors	and	the	screenplay	that	by	the	end	we	can	surmise	what	sort	of	thoughts	would	pour	from	these	writers'	pens	.
pos	the	happy	bastard's	30	second	review	:	the	summer	of	raunch	continues	to	spread	into	theatres	with	this	latest	yuk	fest	,	filled	with	sick	jokes	and	teen	dialogue	aplenty	.	if	you	go	expecting	dawson's	creek	,	you're	in	for	a	problem	.	if	your	expectations	are	lower	(	and	better	,	i	might	add	)	,	you	will	enjoy	the	hell	out	of	american	pie	.	the	movie	casts	several	unknowns	,	with	the	only	real	recognizable	one	being	sctv's	own	eugene	levy	as	a	happy	go	lucky	dad	.	the	story	revolves	around	four	high	school	seniors	who	have	one	goal	before	the	school	year	gets	out	get	laid	.	that's	pretty	much	it	.	throughout	the	movie	,	little	sick	comic	bits	are	sprinkled	throughout	,	including	a	memorable	scene	involving	an	apple	pie	(	i	won't	give	it	away	,	but	you	probably	know	what	it	is	)	and	an	internet	broadcast	gone	horribly	awry	.	of	course	,	the	movie	has	some	slightly	sentimental	bits	,	but	they	don't	drag	the	movie's	humor	content	down	that	bad	.	most	of	the	actors	get	their	job	done	,	but	it's	levy	who's	a	hoot	,	a	father	who	tries	to	talk	sex	with	his	son	with	the	help	of	some	curious	"	visual	aids	"	.	i	couldn't	stop	laughing	during	this	movie	,	and	if	you	can	stand	all	the	raunch	and	the	sex	references	,	then	american	pie	is	for	you	.	if	you're	one	of	those	"	conservative	"	types	,	well	,	i'll	bet	you're	having	fun	at	home	while	this	,	south	park	,	and	austin	powers	ii	plays	in	theatres	,	now	aren't	you	?
pos	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	jeremiah	kipp	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	a	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	bd7281de2f9dea768825693d0014ea8b	?	opendocument	"	http	:	a	.	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	bd7281de2f9dea768825693d0014ea8b	?	opendocument	a	one	of	the	biggest	surprises	at	the	sundance	film	festival	was	debut	filmmaker	aiyana	elliott's	documentary	portrait	of	her	cantankerous	folk	singer	dad	,	the	ballad	of	ramblin'	jack	.	it	was	curious	to	see	how	well	the	audience	responded	to	this	deeply	personal	,	lyrical	film	of	lonesome	highways	and	tough	talking	cowboys	.	aiyana	elliott	previously	made	an	impression	on	the	festival	circuit	with	her	ferocious	short	,	tough	,	which	offered	a	strong	visual	sensibility	influenced	by	the	washed	out	look	of	the	golden	era	of	'70s	filmmaking	.	she	knew	how	to	truthfully	portray	a	modern	dysfunctional	family	,	with	naturalistic	performances	and	startlingly	honest	dialogue	,	a	unit	whose	means	of	communication	is	handled	through	shouting	.	it's	not	surprising	to	see	that	these	themes	continue	in	her	current	feature	.	if	ms	.	elliott's	documentary	fares	less	well	,	it's	perhaps	because	her	instincts	are	stronger	as	a	narrative	filmmaker	with	control	over	the	subject	matter	and	,	perhaps	,	autobiographical	implications	.	the	fact	is	,	her	dad	doesn't	really	like	to	talk	about	herself	.	he	flagrantly	shows	his	lack	of	connection	and	wary	affection	.	at	nearly	two	hours	,	the	film	is	too	long	,	and	jack	elliott	rambles	and	evades	to	the	point	where	we	genuinely	"	get	it	"	after	an	hour	or	so	.	from	then	on	,	the	ballad	of	ramblin'	jack	seems	redundant	.	aiyana	elliott	makes	herself	a	character	in	the	film	,	along	for	the	ride	during	a	midwest	tour	and	chronicling	her	daddy's	life	on	the	way	.	ramblin'	jack	was	a	big	folk	singer	i'd	never	heard	of	.	bob	dylan	was	his	pupil	,	and	he	was	apparently	a	huge	influence	on	the	rolling	stones	,	dylan	and	other	rock	folk	performers	.	kris	kristofferson	and	arlo	guthrie	are	among	the	celebrities	waxing	philosophical	about	ramblin'	jack	,	usually	saying	that	they	never	saw	someone	speak	so	well	about	absolutely	worthless	horseshit	.	there's	a	personal	history	unfolding	,	breaking	through	the	'50s	into	the	beatnik	era	and	the	swinging	'60s	,	to	the	trippy	'70s	style	which	influences	the	entire	movie	.	aiyana	elliott	tries	to	get	sun	flare	in	almost	every	shot	which	tracks	down	the	desolate	patches	of	road	and	field	in	the	heartland	of	america	.	the	interviews	have	a	range	from	the	honest	to	the	superficial	,	which	you'll	find	in	many	documentaries	.	when	people	try	to	get	into	the	depth	of	jack's	persona	or	personality	,	it	feels	pretty	thin	and	rote	.	still	,	aiyana	elliott	is	able	to	capture	the	gravity	of	silences	,	when	people	aren't	sure	what	to	say	.	there's	a	brilliant	sequence	where	she	asks	her	mom	how	good	of	a	husband	and	father	he	was	,	and	she	can't	answer	for	a	good	minute	,	trying	to	control	her	fits	of	laughter	.	there's	a	wonderful	,	definitive	moment	where	aiyana	and	her	dad	are	driving	around	trying	to	find	the	first	house	she	lived	in	.	it's	important	for	her	,	a	touch	of	personal	nostalgia	,	and	he	can't	find	it	.	he	finally	gives	up	after	having	promised	her	to	track	it	down	.	he's	a	pill	,	even	a	bit	of	a	prick	.	boy	,	does	he	annoy	aiyana	onscreen	,	but	the	moment	plays	out	sad	and	funny	.	that's	the	tone	of	the	ballad	of	ramblin'	jack	,	which	earns	the	moment	where	jack	sings	a	lonely	tune	for	his	daughter	at	the	last	concert	.	he's	too	mean	to	be	sentimental	,	but	the	heartstrings	get	tugged	nonetheless	.
pos	this	is	one	of	the	most	funny	and	entertaining	comedies	of	the	year	and	it	just	happens	to	be	animated	.	there	are	some	great	voice	over	commentaries	from	hollywood's	most	famous	celebrities	,	some	fabulous	animation	and	a	compelling	story	.	this	is	the	best	we've	seen	from	disney	since	"	beauty	and	the	beast	"	(	1996	)	.	this	film	begins	an	unspecified	time	following	the	happily	ever	after	conclusion	to	toy	story	.	in	the	aftermath	of	their	earlier	adventures	,	buzz	(	voice	of	tim	allen	)	and	woody	(	voice	of	tom	hanks	)	are	now	fast	friends	and	all	the	toys	live	in	perfect	harmony	,	content	with	their	"	lives	"	.	one	day	,	andy	broke	woody's	arm	off	,	while	playing	with	him	.	woody	is	now	officially	discarged	and	worthless	,	left	with	his	nightmares	,	where	he	lies	in	a	trash	can	with	the	other	discards	.	later	andy's	mother	decides	to	have	a	yard	sale	,	and	she	collects	a	few	old	toys	from	her	son's	room	.	since	one	of	these	discards	is	a	member	of	the	moving	toy	gang	,	woody	goes	to	the	rescue	,	leaving	the	safety	of	the	house	for	the	uncertainty	of	the	front	lawn	in	order	to	bring	the	toy	back	.	although	his	mission	is	successful	,	he	is	placed	in	a	serious	predicament	when	a	toy	collector	named	al	(	voice	of	wayne	knight	)	spies	woody	while	hunting	through	the	wares	available	at	the	sale	.	the	cowboy	toy	represents	the	final	collectible	needed	to	complete	his	collection	of	merchandise	from	the	old	tv	series	,	"	woody's	roundup	.	"	if	he	can	acquire	woody	,	al	can	ship	everything	to	a	toy	museum	in	japan	for	a	huge	profit	.	so	,	after	andy's	mother	refuses	to	sell	the	wooden	cowboy	,	al	steals	him	,	and	it's	up	to	the	other	toys	,	led	by	buzz	,	to	go	into	the	city	to	save	their	friend	.	and	so	,	buzz	,	rex	(	voice	of	wallace	shawn	)	,	hamm	(	voice	of	john	ratzenberger	)	,	mr	.	potatohead	(	voice	of	don	rickles	)	,	and	slinky	(	voice	of	jim	varney	)	,	go	out	on	a	dangerous	journey	to	rescue	their	friend	,	they	find	themselves	confronting	things	like	busy	streets	and	other	buzz	lightyear	toys	.	there	are	car	chases	,	gun	fights	and	finally	the	confrontation	between	buzz	and	his	nemesis	(	who	,	by	the	way	,	resembles	darth	vader	)	.	meanwhile	,	woody	learns	that	he	was	once	a	tv	celebrity	and	has	a	family	a	cowgirl	named	jessie	(	voice	of	joan	cusack	)	,	a	horse	named	bullseye	,	and	a	father	figure	called	the	prospector	(	voice	of	kelsey	grammar	)	.	they	offer	him	another	life	,	as	a	celebrity	a	toy	in	a	museum	in	japan	.	he	is	now	forced	to	choose	between	being	loved	intensively	by	andy	for	a	little	while	(	before	he	grows	up	)	and	be	forgotten	,	or	be	admired	by	children	for	generations	.	the	problem	is	,	if	woody	escapes	from	al's	clutches	and	returns	home	,	they	will	end	up	back	in	the	lonely	darkness	of	storage	.	a	real	effort	is	made	in	the	technical	department	.	the	animation	is	rich	and	colorful	,	with	lots	of	wonderful	details	.	the	"	cinematography	"	is	also	extremely	improved	since	toy	story	;	there	are	a	lot	of	complicated	swings	,	turns	and	close	ups	that	really	make	an	impression	.	lighting	and	filters	are	used	to	create	a	mood	(	as	in	a	surprisingly	emotional	moment	jessie's	remembrance	of	her	days	when	she	was	a	beloved	toy	)	the	film	contains	a	lot	of	in	side	jokes	(	such	as	the	one	about	videogames	)	,	and	entertaining	parodies	on	"	jurassic	park	"	and	"	star	wars	"	.	the	film	ends	with	the	"	failed	takes	"	,	the	kind	of	scenes	that	we	are	used	to	see	after	comedy	shows	on	tv	.	these	outtakes	are	some	of	the	funniest	scenes	in	the	film	.	but	what	in	the	end	makes	"	toy	story	2	"	a	memorable	experience	is	not	the	jokes	,	its	multiple	parodies	or	marvelous	animation	.	it	is	its	heart	and	emotions	the	story	about	the	meaning	of	friendship	,	love	and	even	life	itself	.	it	is	not	difficult	to	predict	that	"	toy	story	2	"	would	be	a	huge	economical	success	,	but	its	artistic	achievement	was	unexpected	.	unexpected	because	the	first	film	wasn't	much	more	than	a	demonstration	of	special	effects	.	but	mostly	it	was	unexpected	because	disney	hasn't	produced	anything	spectacular	in	years	and	is	constantly	surpassed	by	companies	such	as	dreamworks	and	warner	brs	.	but	here	the	director	has	changed	the	atmosphere	of	the	film	,	making	it	more	accessible	and	interesting	for	persons	older	that	9	years	.	this	is	a	big	step	away	from	the	ancient	laws	of	disney	animation	.	off	course	,	this	is	not	"	antz	"	,	it	is	not	as	intelligent	;	this	is	not	a	landmark	and	no	masterpiece	,	but	i	promise	that	you'll	find	it	as	funny	and	enjoyable	as	i	have	.	whether	this	is	the	best	animated	film	of	the	year	,	i	dare	not	say	.	my	choice	would	probably	be	"	the	iron	giant	"	,	but	(	along	side	with	"	american	pie	"	)	this	is	the	comedy	of	the	year	.	i	almost	lost	my	hopes	for	disney	,	but	"	toy	story	2	"	proves	that	disney	hasn't	lost	their	ability	to	entertain	.
pos	hedwig	and	the	angry	inch	(	2001	)	john	cameron	mitchell	,	miriam	shor	,	stephen	trask	,	michael	pitt	,	theodore	liscinski	,	michael	aronov	,	andrea	martin	,	maurice	dean	wint	,	ben	mayer	goodman	.	animation	by	emily	hubley	.	adapted	from	the	stage	play	by	john	cameron	mitchell	and	stephen	trask	.	music	and	lyrics	by	stephn	trask	.	written	and	directed	by	john	cameron	mitchell	.	91	minutes	.	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	had	"	hedwig	and	the	angry	inch	"	came	out	in	the	'70s	,	right	after	david	bowie's	"	ziggy	stardust	,	"	it	likely	would	now	be	regarded	as	one	of	the	most	popular	rock	musicals	of	all	time	.	released	in	the	500	channel	,	sensory	overload	world	of	2001	,	however	,	the	big	screen	adaptation	of	the	acclaimed	off	broadway	musical	must	do	battle	with	countless	other	productions	clamoring	for	attention	.	i	almost	missed	it	.	every	august	,	the	major	studios	try	to	squeeze	the	last	few	dollars	out	of	summer	moviegoers	by	dumping	all	of	their	shakier	offerings	on	the	marketplace	at	once	.	i	was	so	busy	trying	to	keep	up	with	national	releases	like	"	summer	catch	"	and	"	bubble	boy	"	that	i	passed	over	any	independent	film	that	looked	like	it	would	only	have	a	short	local	run	.	but	an	e	mail	from	a	reader	asking	why	i	hadn't	reviewed	the	movie	prompted	me	to	make	a	late	evening	trip	to	the	theater	.
pos	for	more	"	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	"	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a	runaway	bride	is	a	pretty	woman	reunion	that	feels	more	light	and	fluffy	than	it's	predecessor	.	but	,	despite	it's	obvious	tone	and	rather	formulaic	script	,	it	still	manages	to	be	a	crowd	pleaser	.	the	stars	do	a	great	deal	to	enliven	what	is	actually	a	sub	par	romance	.	richard	gere	plays	ike	graham	,	a	usa	today	columnist	who	is	desperate	for	a	story	idea	.	through	an	acquaintance	in	a	bar	,	he	discovers	information	that	could	make	for	interesting	reading	:	a	small	town	girl	named	maggie	carpenter	(	julia	roberts	)	,	dubbed	as	the	runaway	bride'	,	has	become	notorious	for	leaving	her	groom	at	the	alter	for	a	series	of	up	to	7	or	8	incidents	.	graham	,	rushing	to	meet	the	deadline	,	types	up	the	column	to	have	it	published	in	the	paper	the	following	day	.	but	the	real	maggie	carpenter	spots	the	headline	,	and	does	not	appreciate	the	gross	exaggerations	that	graham	uses	in	his	writing	style	(	she	insists	it	was	only	three	times	that	she	high	tailed	it	out	of	a	wedding	)	.	his	editor	(	and	ex	wife	,	played	by	rita	wilson	)	ends	up	firing	ike	,	but	a	friend	(	played	by	hector	elizondo	)	offers	him	another	chance	to	get	his	facts	straight	.	and	so	the	big	city	boy	goes	off	to	hale	,	maryland	to	investigate	the	real	truth	and	attempt	to	express	his	apologies	to	maggie	.	who	knows	,	the	two	might	even	fall	for	each	other	in	the	end	.	.	.	.	.	.	it	was	a	wise	move	for	director	gary	marshall	to	return	to	his	romance	roots	and	try	to	re	invent	his	biggest	hit	.	lately	,	marshall	has	been	lagging	seriously	behind	(	i'm	pretty	sure	exit	to	eden	didn't	make	any	ten	best	lists	)	.	this	reunion	with	roberts	and	gere	should	be	a	sure	fire	hit	,	and	even	if	the	material	is	recycled	scrap	,	the	presentation	is	modestly	charming	and	always	watchable	.	both	stars	look	pretty	enough	to	single	handedly	save	any	film	,	no	matter	how	terribly	the	script	may	be	constructed	.	runaway	bride	is	predictable	,	to	say	the	least	,	but	it	has	a	certain	charm	.	the	supporting	cast	is	made	up	of	largely	familiar	faces	,	including	another	pretty	woman	vet	:	hector	elizondo	.	elizondo	stole	many	scenes	in	the	1990	film	as	a	courteous	hotel	owner	,	and	his	performance	here	is	again	impressive	.	joan	cusack	,	as	maggie's	quirky	best	friend	,	is	basically	typecast	once	again	and	injects	a	lot	of	natural	humor	into	the	proceedings	.	the	two	lead	characters	hate	each	other	so	much	it	seems	impossible	that	they'll	end	up	together	.	minimal	sparks	fly	between	roberts	and	gere	,	but	they	both	turn	in	believable	performances	,	even	as	they	are	being	pushed	toward	a	highly	improbable	happy	ending	.	star	power	is	the	glue	that	holds	this	film	together	.	the	script	has	all	the	regular	clichs	associated	with	this	kind	of	film	,	and	reliance	on	the	lead	performances	is	huge	.	the	set	up	has	some	obvious	problems	,	but	once	runaway	bride	gets	into	a	natural	flow	,	it's	easy	to	enjoy	.	but	please	,	next	time	spare	us	some	of	the	humor	associated	with	maggie's	perverted	grandmother	,	who	explains	in	detail	her	disastrous	honeymoon	night	.	this	is	a	light	romantic	comedy	,	and	a	character	like	hers	seems	somewhat	out	of	place	.	this	is	julia	roberts'	second	summer	romance	(	the	first	was	notting	hill	)	,	and	she	has	submitted	another	charming	performance	.	still	,	this	remains	pretty	woman	lite	.	the	pg	rating	ensures	the	film	is	suitable	for	family	viewing	,	but	it	also	adds	some	restrictions	.	someone	searching	for	a	sweet	escape	to	the	theater	could	do	far	worse	than	runaway	bride	,	if	they	are	in	the	mood	for	something	fitfully	entertaining	but	not	terribly	original	.	this	has	been	done	a	dozen	times	before	,	but	never	with	this	kind	of	star	charisma	.
pos	directed	by	bill	condon	.	cast	:	ian	mckellen	,	brendan	fraser	,	lynn	redgrave	,	lolita	davidovich	.	1998	106	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	profanity	,	brief	nudity	,	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	january	8	,	1999	.	bill	condon's	"	gods	and	monsters	"	is	a	fascinating	look	into	the	last	days	in	the	life	of	gay	director	james	whale	(	ian	mckellan	)	,	who	made	the	horror	classics	"	frankenstein	"	and	"	bride	of	frankenstein	.	"	since	i	was	unfamiliar	of	whale	prior	to	viewing	the	film	,	there	is	no	way	to	know	how	accurate	the	film	is	,	but	i	suspect	that	much	of	it	only	came	from	whale's	inner	fantasies	and	hallucinations	.	whale	,	who	fought	in	wwi	and	then	went	on	to	become	known	for	his	work	on	horror	pictures	,	decided	fifteen	years	before	his	death	at	age	67	to	quit	filmmaking	once	a	homosexual	scandal	broke	out	involving	him	.	as	the	film	tells	it	,	during	the	end	of	his	life	,	whale	,	at	his	large	home	in	l	.	a	.	,	became	infatuated	with	the	tall	,	handsome	,	and	much	younger	man	,	clayton	boone	(	brendan	fraser	)	,	who	was	working	as	the	gardener	at	his	home	.	james	whale	,	we	learn	quickly	was	,	what	many	people	refer	to	him	as	in	the	film	,	"	a	dirty	old	man	.	"	in	one	of	the	opening	scenes	,	a	young	film	enthusiast	visits	whale's	home	to	interview	him	and	whale	agrees	,	on	one	condition	:	for	every	question	he	answers	,	the	young	man	must	take	off	an	article	of	clothing	.	because	of	this	episode	,	we	know	exactly	what	it	is	whale	wants	when	he	asks	clayton	to	pose	for	him	for	a	painting	,	later	making	the	excuse	that	his	bright	,	white	shirt	is	disracting	only	so	he	will	take	it	off	.	clayon	agrees	,	and	doesn't	really	think	much	of	this	,	much	to	the	warnings	of	his	friends	,	becoming	more	and	more	intrigued	in	the	stories	whale	tells	him	about	his	past	.	certainly	,	the	relationship	between	whale	and	boone	is	headed	for	a	downfall	,	since	whale	starts	to	grow	a	deep	love	for	this	young	man	,	even	though	boone	is	not	gay	,	and	whale	himself	realizes	he	is	nearing	the	conclusion	to	his	life	,	as	he	begins	to	seldom	suffer	mild	strokes	and	moments	of	true	catharsis	.	"	gods	and	monsters	"	is	an	intimate	and	seemingly	respectful	portrait	of	a	director	who	was	forced	to	become	somewhat	of	an	outcast	,	due	to	his	sexual	preference	,	and	never	got	the	recognition	he	would	have	liked	,	since	he	longed	to	be	referred	to	as	a	"	motion	picture	director	,	"	rather	than	a	"	horror	director	.	"	and	in	one	heartbreaking	scene	,	he	attends	a	party	with	boone	being	his	guest	,	held	by	director	george	cuckor	,	and	finds	that	many	of	the	other	attendees	do	not	recognize	him	anymore	.	it	is	evident	that	whale's	first	love	in	his	life	was	making	movies	,	and	when	his	career	ultimately	fell	apart	,	so	did	his	passion	in	life	.	as	played	brilliantly	by	ian	mckellen	,	james	whale	comes	off	as	a	sad	,	but	dignified	man	,	and	a	person	who	was	not	afraid	to	stand	out	from	others	,	just	as	long	as	he	knew	he	was	being	true	to	himself	.	he	never	hid	the	fact	that	he	was	gay	,	however	,	even	if	it	meant	threatening	his	filmmaking	profession	,	and	it	was	this	unblinking	honesty	that	made	him	a	great	person	.	through	the	complicated	relationship	that	develops	between	whale	and	boone	,	boone	,	of	course	,	only	things	of	whale	as	a	possible	friend	or	someone	he	can	talk	to	,	while	it	means	so	much	more	to	whale	,	who	sees	boone	as	sort	of	his	salvation	in	life	.	although	boone	is	only	in	a	dead	end	job	as	a	gardener	of	people's	homes	,	whale	views	him	as	the	ideal	man	,	not	only	one	that	is	good	looking	,	even	though	it	is	this	attraction	that	first	begins	his	feelings	,	but	one	that	will	actually	listen	to	him	.	since	whale	lives	with	only	his	loyal	,	but	disapproving	maid	(	touchingly	portrayed	by	lynn	redgrave	)	,	it	is	boone	that	whale	can	talk	to	in	his	ultimate	reclusion	from	the	world	,	and	the	only	reason	whale	finally	decides	to	attend	the	gathering	of	george	cuckor	.	although	an	extremely	fine	and	mature	picture	,	a	few	small	elements	hold	the	film	back	from	ultimate	greatness	.	it	is	appreciated	that	the	film	does	not	pull	for	any	obvious	or	overly	dramatic	story	developments	,	but	it	is	a	little	thin	,	and	the	structuring	of	the	"	on	again	off	again	"	friendship	at	the	film's	center	is	fairly	predictable	.	we	know	early	on	where	these	two	characters	are	headed	,	and	we	can	guess	that	there	will	be	a	final	confrontation	between	the	two	as	the	tension	slowly	builds	.	in	lesser	hands	,	this	set	up	might	have	felt	too	calculated	,	but	it	is	not	in	the	surprisingly	deft	treatment	and	writing	that	helps	the	film	to	be	much	more	than	this	.	also	,	a	subplot	is	briefly	brought	up	between	clayton	and	a	waitress	working	at	a	bar	(	effectively	played	by	lolita	davidovich	)	,	but	abruptly	dropped	and	never	brought	up	again	.	if	the	film	was	not	going	to	follow	up	on	this	side	story	,	then	it	,	perhaps	,	should	have	been	taken	out	altogether	.	"	gods	and	monsters	"	is	a	heartfelt	and	intelligent	motion	picture	,	impressively	directed	by	bill	condon	,	who	,	i	sense	,	relates	to	or	fully	understands	the	meaning	behind	the	curious	relationship	between	whale	and	boone	.	the	film	also	plays	as	a	tribute	to	a	fine	man	who	met	an	untimely	end	.	walking	away	from	"	gods	and	monsters	,	"	it	was	ian	mckellen's	marvelous	and	astounding	performance	that	left	the	most	impression	on	me	,	and	i	doubt	there	could	have	been	anyone	who	could	have	stepped	into	the	role	more	fully	and	believably	.	it	is	a	sad	testament	when	a	person's	true	talent	and	love	is	unfairly	taken	away	from	them	,	based	on	the	scrutinization	and	judgement	of	their	personal	life	,	which	,	ironically	enough	,	is	no	one	else's	business	in	the	first	place	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	haven	a
pos	disney	cements	their	place	in	the	forefront	of	feature	animation	with	the	release	of	their	latest	animated	adventure	,	mulan	.	while	it	adheres	a	bit	too	close	to	the	disney	formula	to	be	perfect	,	it	is	nonetheless	an	entertaining	film	for	both	kids	and	adults	.	fa	mulan	(	ming	na	wen	,	singing	:	lea	salonga	)	wants	nothing	more	than	to	be	a	dutiful	daughter	and	honor	her	family	.	.	.	it's	just	that	she	doesn't	quite	fit	in	with	the	chafing	customs	of	her	time	.	while	most	girls	her	age	are	trying	to	quietly	and	demurely	seek	the	approval	of	the	local	matchmaker	(	miriam	margoyles	)	,	mulan	would	prefer	speaking	her	mind	.	but	there	is	trouble	on	the	horizon	.	the	evil	huns	,	led	by	shan	yu	(	miguel	ferrer	)	,	are	invading	china	.	the	emperor	(	pat	morita	)	has	decreed	that	each	family	must	donate	one	man	to	serve	in	the	army	.	the	only	male	in	mulan's	family	is	her	father	,	fa	zhou	(	soon	tek	oh	)	,	who	,	old	and	with	a	bad	leg	,	honorably	accepts	his	fate	.	mulan	,	on	the	other	hand	,	decides	to	save	her	father's	life	.	.	.	by	secretly	masquerading	as	a	man	and	taking	his	place	on	the	battlefield	.	mulan	,	under	the	assumed	name	of	ping	,	appears	at	camp	where	she	,	along	with	the	other	bumbling	recruits	,	yao	(	harvey	fierstein	)	,	chien	po	(	jerry	tondo	)	and	ling	(	gedde	watanabe	)	,	are	trained	in	the	art	of	war	by	captain	shang	(	b	.	d	.	wong	,	singing	:	donny	osmond	)	.	but	she's	not	alone	in	her	tasks	.	.	.	in	typical	disney	fashion	,	she	has	three	animal	companions	:	her	horse	khan	,	a	lucky	cricket	crickey	,	and	a	pint	sized	"	guardian	"	dragon	called	mushu	(	eddie	murphy	)	.	much	like	the	gargoyles	in	the	hunchback	of	notre	dame	,	the	humor	in	mulan	is	lukewarm	and	doesn't	flow	well	with	the	rest	of	the	more	serious	story	.	sure	,	some	occasional	comic	relief	is	welcome	,	particularly	in	a	film	geared	for	the	younger	set	,	but	mulan	overdoes	it	.	the	overdose	of	humor	turns	what	could	have	been	a	powerfully	great	film	into	a	good	,	but	schizophrenic	experience	.	but	,	that	commentary	aside	,	this	is	a	very	well	made	film	(	which	makes	the	formulaic	additions	all	the	more	regrettable	)	.	the	animation	is	on	par	with	some	of	disney's	best	.	the	story	itself	is	interesting	,	and	the	action	scenes	are	awe	inspiring	.	the	musical	score	to	the	film	is	enjoyable	,	though	,	as	has	been	the	case	with	disney's	recent	work	,	the	songs	are	mostly	forgettable	.	at	least	,	we're	only	subjected	to	four	of	them	this	time	around	.	mulan	boasts	the	highest	death	toll	of	any	disney	cartoon	to	date	.	most	of	the	killing	is	off	screen	and	it's	all	highly	depersonalized	(	there's	nothing	to	compare	with	the	death	of	mufasa	or	bambi's	mom	)	.	there's	nothing	graphic	,	and	the	film	resides	snugly	inside	a	g	rating	.	children	will	probably	have	more	questions	about	the	restrictive	ancient	customs	than	of	the	slaughter	of	armies	.	it's	ironic	that	a	film	concerned	with	bucking	tradition	is	hampered	because	of	its	strict	adherence	to	disney	tradition	.	if	the	filmmakers	had	the	guts	to	lessen	the	humor	,	ax	the	compulsory	songs	,	and	remove	the	obligatory	(	and	somewhat	unrealistic	)	romance	,	they	could	have	had	a	classic	on	their	hands	.	instead	,	they	merely	deliver	a	very	good	time	at	the	movies	.
pos	susan	granger's	review	of	"	the	perfect	storm	"	(	warner	bros	.	)	"	more	people	die	on	fishing	boats	,	per	capita	,	than	working	in	any	other	job	in	the	u	.	s	.	.	every	journey	a	fishing	boat	makes	can	be	an	all	or	nothing	risk	.	it	is	life	at	its	most	exhilarating	and	its	most	terrifying	,	"	says	director	wolfgang	petersen	(	"	das	boot	"	)	.	and	that's	just	what	he	captures	in	this	true	story	of	struggle	and	humanity	aboard	a	swordfishing	boat	,	the	andrea	gail	,	sailing	out	of	gloucester	,	massachusetts	,	in	late	october	,	1991	.	early	in	bill	wittliff's	screenplay	,	based	on	sebastian	junger's	best	seller	,	we	meet	the	crew	of	six	.	the	veteran	captain	(	george	clooney	)	is	frustrated	because	he	can't	find	fish	on	the	grand	banks	,	yet	a	rival	skipper	(	mary	elizabeth	mastrantonio	)	brings	in	huge	hauls	.	his	right	hand	man	(	mark	walhberg	)	needs	money	to	build	a	new	life	with	his	girl	friend	(	diane	lane	)	.	there's	a	devoted	dad	(	john	c	.	reilly	)	with	an	estranged	wife	and	son	,	a	free	spirited	jamaican	(	allen	payne	)	,	a	lonely	guy	(	john	hawkes	)	,	and	a	last	minute	replacement	with	a	bad	attitude	(	william	fichtner	)	.	the	skipper's	convinced	he	can	change	his	bad	luck	streak	in	remote	flemish	cap	,	and	he	does	.	but	then	trouble	begins	.	there's	a	rogue	wave	,	a	man	overboard	and	the	ice	machine	breaks	with	60	,	000	lb	.	of	fish	that	could	spoil	.	but	that's	minor	compared	with	a	deadly	monster	storm	approaching	which	a	boston	meteorologist	describes	as	"	a	disaster	of	epic	proportions	"	that	also	threatens	the	lives	of	a	coast	guard	helicopter	rescue	team	trying	to	save	three	people	stranded	on	a	sailboat	on	the	high	seas	.	it's	formulaic	and	there	are	cliches	,	but	the	walls	of	water	,	created	by	fluid	dynamics	simulating	real	life	phenomena	,	are	awesome	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	the	perfect	storm	"	is	a	terrifying	,	suspenseful	8	.	hang	on	for	the	white	knuckle	thrill	ride	of	the	summer	!
pos	columbia	1	:	52	1997	pg	13	(	language	,	violence	,	sex	,	brief	nudity	)	cast	:	ethan	hawke	;	uma	thurman	;	jude	law	;	gore	vidal	;	alan	arkin	;	loren	dean	;	elias	koteas	;	xander	berkeley	;	jayne	brook	;	tony	shalhoub	director	:	andrew	niccol	screenplay	:	andrew	niccol	"	gattaca	"	represents	a	solid	breakthrough	in	the	recent	onslaught	of	science	fiction	films	it's	a	genre	picture	that	doesn't	rely	on	alien	creatures	or	loud	explosions	to	tell	its	story	.	the	movie	takes	place	in	a	futuristic	world	where	babies	are	created	through	genetic	tampering	and	not	sexual	reproduction	.	this	allows	parents	to	predetermine	what	kind	of	eye	color	,	intelligence	and	life	span	they'd	like	for	their	child	,	and	also	eliminates	most	pesky	chances	of	health	defects	.	those	made	the	old	fashioned	way	are	labeled	as	"	in	valids	"	and	confined	to	the	lower	rung	of	society	.	vincent	freeman	(	ethan	hawke	)	is	one	such	person	,	born	not	too	long	before	the	genetic	process	was	perfected	and	forced	to	grow	up	in	a	home	with	his	petrie	dish	molded	younger	brother	anton	.	fed	up	with	being	second	rate	and	enchanted	by	dreams	of	one	day	traveling	through	space	,	vincent	leaves	home	and	takes	a	janitorial	position	at	the	gattaca	aerospace	corporation	.	everyday	,	he	watches	as	"	superior	"	folk	make	his	fantasy	a	reality	.	determined	to	do	the	same	,	vincent	meets	a	dna	broker	(	tony	shalhoub	in	a	funny	cameo	)	who	sells	fake	identities	to	in	valids	.	his	counterpart	for	this	scam	is	jerome	morrow	(	jude	law	)	,	an	ex	athlete	left	paralyzed	in	an	accident	and	confined	to	a	wheelchair	for	life	.	for	a	price	and	the	promise	of	a	caretaker	,	jerome	supplies	vincent	with	his	identity	,	as	well	as	blood	,	skin	and	urine	samples	for	all	of	those	pesky	on	the	job	tests	and	physical	examinations	this	future	is	one	where	employees	clock	in	by	pricking	their	fingers	instead	of	punching	a	time	card	.	because	of	his	drastically	improved	status	,	vincent	is	quickly	propelled	to	a	high	position	in	gattaca	,	and	catches	the	eye	of	comely	co	worker	irene	(	uma	thurman	)	on	the	way	obsessed	with	her	own	minor	heart	defect	,	she's	enamored	by	his	flawless	persona	she	doesn't	know	is	a	lie	.	but	on	the	figurative	eve	of	his	upcoming	planetary	departure	,	the	mission	director	is	murdered	.	two	ardent	detectives	(	alan	arkin	and	billy	bathgate's	loren	dean	)	determine	the	killer	is	on	the	inside	of	gattaca	,	and	the	sole	clue	they	find	at	the	crime	scene	one	of	vincent's	eyelashes	threatens	to	blow	vincent's	cover	and	derail	his	goal	.	even	if	"	gattaca	"	were	dramatically	empty	,	it	would	still	boast	a	sublime	set	of	production	credentials	the	film's	look	is	dazzling	without	ever	being	flashy	.	first	time	director	writer	andrew	niccol	(	he	also	wrote	the	screenplay	for	the	upcoming	jim	carrey	drama	"	the	truman	show	"	)	demonstrates	a	keen	eye	for	the	stylish	;	his	collaboration	with	cinematographer	slawomir	idziak	,	production	designer	jan	roelfs	and	costume	designer	colleen	atwood	result	in	a	sophisticated	composition	that	emanates	classy	,	retro	ambiance	.	an	opening	credits	sequence	where	skin	,	nail	and	hair	fragments	fall	in	slow	motion	through	a	colored	camera	lens	displays	these	combined	talents	uncannily	.	niccol	even	utilizes	voice	over	narration	(	a	device	almost	always	poorly	employed	)	in	an	effective	way	.	when	it	comes	to	acting	,	the	movie	is	also	flawless	.	ethan	hawke	does	magnificent	work	,	proving	his	ability	to	carry	a	film	and	reaffirming	his	enormously	high	charisma	level	.	his	chemistry	with	thurman	is	a	bit	on	the	icy	side	,	but	needfully	so	,	adding	to	the	setting's	clinical	chill	.	as	the	bitter	jerome	,	jude	law	has	a	star	making	presence	,	and	it's	his	scenes	with	hawke	that	give	the	movie	its	fine	emotional	core	.	in	"	gattaca	"	's	series	of	final	shots	,	the	fates	of	vincent	and	jerome	are	superimposed	over	each	other	,	and	the	effect	is	sad	,	lyrical	and	beautiful	.	things	get	a	little	strange	as	the	movie	nears	its	climax	,	when	vincent's	relationship	with	his	brother	comes	back	into	view	.	the	big	dramatic	culmination	is	a	swim	race	,	which	is	somewhat	silly	albeit	beautifully	photographed	.	still	,	the	single	most	surprising	aspect	of	gattaca	is	its	use	of	backdrop	it's	successful	sci	fi	without	showy	special	effects	,	it's	a	crisp	thriller	with	character	driven	thrills	,	it's	a	futuristic	fable	without	blood	and	guts	.	even	its	murder	mystery	is	relegated	to	a	secondary	subplot	,	ensuring	that	a	smart	story	about	smart	people	and	smart	science	takes	center	stage	.	although	it's	portrayal	of	the	upcoming	century	is	grim	,	"	gattaca	"	serves	up	one	of	the	most	thought	provoking	societal	forecasts	ever	depicted	on	film	.	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
pos	central	station	(	central	do	brazil	)	(	brazil	france	,	1998	)	1	2	directed	by	walter	salles	,	jr	.	written	by	joao	emanuel	carneiro	and	marcos	bernstein	,	based	on	an	idea	by	salles	.	photography	,	walter	carvalho	.	editing	,	isabelle	rathery	,	felipe	lacerda	.	poduction	design	,	cassio	amarante	,	carla	caffe	.	music	,	antonio	pinto	,	jaques	morelembaum	.	producers	,	arthur	cohn	,	martine	de	clermont	tonnerre	.	cast	:	fernanda	montenegro	(	dora	)	,	vinicius	de	oliveira	(	josue	)	,	mariela	pera	(	irene	)	,	othon	bastos	(	cesar	the	truck	driver	)	,	et	al	.	a	sony	classics	release	.	in	portuguese	,	subtitled	.	110	min	.	r	(	language	)	mix	the	following	ingredients	:	brazil's	own	1960's	cinema	novo's	first	wave	(	political	,	socially	conscious	,	realistic	)	;	the	road	movies	genre	;	early	italian	neorealist	films	;	cinema	verite	;	and	bits	of	epistolary	films	.	take	as	your	subject	the	undying	category	in	which	a	tough	(	or	just	gruff	)	man	or	woman	gets	somehow	stuck	with	a	kid	(	generally	but	not	always	sweet	like	shirley	temple	or	freddie	bartholomew	)	that	will	mellow	the	adult	;	think	of	the	current	remake	of	cassavetes'	"	gloria	.	"	and	what	do	you	get	in	central	station	?	a	hybrid	?	not	at	all	.	you	get	an	original	,	un	gimmicky	,	un	icky	,	un	cliched	,	attention	holding	,	touching	film	that	opens	your	eyes	on	major	aspects	of	the	human	condition	in	brazil	and	on	that	country's	people	and	life	.	obviously	,	the	movie	has	been	appreciated	,	with	awards	and	or	applause	at	several	festivals	,	including	the	top	prize	at	the	berlin	festival	.	it	is	also	a	contender	in	the	best	foreign	film	category	at	the	1999	oscars	.	rio	de	janeiro's	central	train	station	where	300	,	000	people	move	about	each	day	,	is	a	microcosm	of	urban	society	.	the	station	looks	to	me	(	but	i	may	be	wrong	)	like	the	hub	of	local	trains	rather	than	long	distance	travel	.	also	,	the	majority	of	the	people	we	see	are	working	class	,	low	income	or	no	income	cariocas	,	cheaply	clad	a	far	cry	from	the	well	dressed	crowds	in	north	american	commuter	trains	.	(	to	anticipate	comments	,	i	do	know	that	,	as	i	write	this	in	cold	february	,	it	is	90	degrees	in	rio	,	and	people	are	in	shirt	sleeves	,	but	shabbiness	prevails	at	the	station	by	any	standards	)	.	the	mobs	are	busy	rushing	into	the	trains	.	many	younger	men	jump	into	the	wagons	through	open	windows	.	the	place	is	also	a	hive	of	makeshift	stores	and	stands	.	early	into	the	movie	there's	a	horrendous	scene	.	a	man	who	has	lifted	something	from	a	shop	is	pursued	.	two	cops	catch	up	with	him	.	they	take	his	loot	,	and	,	without	thinking	twice	about	it	,	one	of	the	lawmen	puts	a	bullet	in	the	fellow's	head	.	nothing	is	made	of	this	.	life	is	cheap	.	dora	,	in	her	mid	to	late	60s	,	and	no	beauty	to	put	it	mildly	is	a	retired	elementary	school	teacher	.	to	make	ends	meet	,	in	the	cavernous	station	she	has	a	table	on	which	she	writes	letters	that	many	illiterates	dictate	to	her	and	gets	also	paid	for	putting	on	stamps	later	and	mailing	the	envelopes	.	but	,	tough	,	brusque	and	caustic	,	the	scribe	is	also	a	scam	artist	.	when	she	gets	to	her	dismal	apartment	by	the	tracks	,	she	brings	along	her	daily	bag	of	letters	that	she's	supposed	to	mail	,	and	shows	them	to	her	friend	irene	.	irene	may	be	her	roommate	or	her	neighbor	,	it's	not	clear	.	clearly	though	,	she	is	the	only	friend	in	dora's	depressing	life	.	irene	,	younger	,	jolly	and	a	still	nice	looking	fading	beauty	,	is	probably	a	prostitute	,	though	this	is	not	elaborated	.	at	home	,	dora	perhaps	selects	a	few	envelops	that	she	mails	.	for	sure	,	she	tears	up	many	of	them	and	puts	the	rest	in	drawers	,	where	they	probably	remain	forever	.	among	her	customers	is	a	woman	with	her	9	year	old	boy	josue	.	her	husband	,	a	drunkard	,	left	her	long	ago	.	she	want	him	back	,	for	herself	and	for	their	fatherless	child	.	that	woman	is	killed	by	a	bus	right	outside	the	station	.	the	plight	of	the	child	is	even	more	tragic	if	you	are	aware	of	the	horrendous	problem	of	millions	of	street	children	in	brazil	.	their	survival	is	a	tragedy	;	many	even	get	killed	by	the	police	for	no	reason	.	soon	,	hard	as	nails	dora	takes	streetwise	and	sullen	josue	to	her	place	.	her	unexpected	kindness	is	undone	when	she	sells	the	boy	to	a	shabby	"	agency	"	which	supposedly	supplies	children	to	adoptive	parents	abroad	.	dora	returns	home	with	a	new	color	tv	set	,	on	which	,	with	subtle	,	symbolic	,	irony	,	we	see	only	black	and	white	programs	.	but	an	aghast	irene	tells	her	that	the	agency	is	a	fake	,	that	the	kids	will	be	killed	for	their	organs	.	dora	rushes	back	,	kidnaps	josue	and	in	fear	of	retaliation	,	flees	with	him	to	look	for	the	missing	father	.	this	is	where	the	travels	begin	.	it's	more	of	a	road	movie	than	an	odyssey	since	the	"	adventures	"	are	on	a	small	,	intimate	rather	than	a	grand	scale	.	the	grand	scale	is	only	in	the	vastness	of	brazil	,	the	world's	fifth	largest	nation	.	the	woman	and	the	rebellious	josue	take	a	lot	of	busses	.	when	hardly	solvent	or	broke	they	hitch	rides	in	trucks	.	most	of	this	is	in	the	"	sertao	"	of	the	north	east	,	brazil's	thinly	populated	,	often	barren	outback	.	(	it's	a	neat	reversal	of	the	poor	of	those	areas	trudging	to	the	promised	land	of	big	cities	)	.	the	trip	,	the	landscape	,	the	places	seen	are	harsh	.	nothing	is	paved	in	this	barrenness	,	except	for	the	main	highways	.	the	viewers	are	given	a	tour	which	,	like	the	entire	film	,	is	extremely	well	photographed	and	uncompromisnly	realistic	.	we	are	light	years	away	from	the	commonly	pictured	touristic	brazil	with	its	fiestas	and	the	thong	wearing	beauties	of	the	copcabana	beach	.	credit	director	salles's	experience	as	a	documentarist	.	he	is	objective	but	has	a	heart	.	while	the	protagonists	gradually	,	as	expected	,	draw	closer	to	each	other	,	salles	,	with	much	naturalness	,	avoids	sentimentalizing	people	or	places	.	yet	his	eyes	and	ears	are	full	of	quiet	sympathy	for	what	,	to	use	bunuel's	title	,	are	los	olvidados	,	the	forgotten	ones	who	struggle	to	subsist	.	the	people	whom	the	woman	and	the	child	come	across	,	by	and	large	are	decent	folks	who	live	in	squalor	.	an	episode	with	a	nice	,	warm	,	older	trucker	,	an	evangelical	who	,	for	a	brief	spell	,	stirs	the	woman	in	dora	,	is	effortlessly	touching	.	and	in	a	long	,	spectacular	sequence	,	dora	and	josue	find	themselves	in	a	throng	of	pilgrims	that	go	to	revere	jesus	in	acts	of	hope	and	of	self	consolation	.	(	one	should	not	,	by	the	way	,	make	too	much	of	names	such	as	josue	(	joshua	)	and	jesus	,	the	elusive	father	,	nor	the	fact	that	jesus	is	a	sort	of	carpenter	.	symbolism	may	be	present	,	but	with	a	light	touch	.	curiously	,	in	the	other	main	candidate	for	best	foreign	film	oscar	this	year	(	life	is	beautiful	)	the	woman	is	called	dora	and	the	child	is	josue	the	humanity	of	the	dora	josue	twosome	has	enormous	appeal	.	she	is	one	of	brazil's	top	stage	actresses	and	light	years	away	from	the	looks	of	sharon	stone	in	gloria	!	)	he	was	a	poor	shoeshine	boy	whom	the	director	discovered	in	an	airport	.	their	performances	are	so	real	that	the	word	"	acting	"	never	comes	into	your	mind	.	what	might	come	to	mind	is	the	great	italian	film	"	stolen	children	,	"	as	well	as	its	contrast	with	central	station	,	whose	poverty	makes	even	the	italian	south	look	relatively	wealthy	.	the	most	upsetting	sight	for	me	,	one	that	encapsulates	the	movie	,	is	the	the	picture	of	a	goat	in	a	sertao	village	.	the	animal	,	trying	to	graze	in	the	barren	dust	,	walks	somehow	with	his	two	broken	front	legs	.	yet	the	total	movie	does	not	stress	grimness	.	it	has	its	natural	quota	of	positiveness	,	even	unforced	humor	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	starring	:	matthew	broderick	(	dr	.	niko	"	nick	"	tatopoulos	)	,	maria	pitillo	(	audrey	timmonds	)	,	jean	reno	(	philippe	roache	)	,	hank	azaria	(	victor	"	animal	"	palotti	)	,	harry	shearer	(	charles	caiman	)	,	kevin	dunn	(	colonel	hicks	)	,	arabella	field	(	lucy	palotti	)	,	doug	savant	(	sergeant	o'neal	)	,	vicki	lewis	(	dr	.	elsie	chapman	)	,	michael	lerner	(	mayor	ebert	)	,	lorry	goldman	(	gene	)	,	and	godzilla	as	himself	directed	by	:	roland	emmerich	,	written	by	:	dean	devlin	roland	emmerichrated	pg	13	for	violence	,	mild	profanity	,	and	mild	sexual	innuendo
pos	that's	the	question	i	asked	myself	when	venturing	nervously	into	"	the	wedding	singer	,	"	the	latest	film	to	star	the	saturday	night	live	alumnus	.	does	he	draw	laughs	from	his	sad	,	puppy	dog	expression	and	don't	hate	me	for	being	a	simpleton	observations	?	or	do	fans	giggle	when	he	screams	at	the	top	of	his	lungs	at	people	?	or	is	it	just	the	fact	that	he	sings	songs	with	silly	lyrics	that	bowl	audiences	over	?	well	,	there's	a	little	bit	of	all	of	that	in	"	the	wedding	singer	"	and	while	i	exited	the	theater	still	not	one	hundred	percent	sure	of	mr	.	sandler's	thing	,	i	did	have	a	surprisingly	good	time	.	that's	because	,	in	a	nutshell	,	"	the	wedding	singer	"	is	one	of	the	sweetest	movies	you're	ever	likely	to	come	across	.	that's	right	.	sweet	.	the	humor	in	the	film	runs	the	gamut	from	dumb	to	mildly	amusing	to	laugh	out	loud	hysterical	but	the	tone	?	well	,	it's	just	lovely	.	i	have	to	admit	i	was	half	expecting	farting	armpit	humor	,	gratuitous	nudity	,	superfluous	,	cloying	subplots	,	and	some	nasty	,	unnecessary	violence	.	instead	?	well	,	i've	said	it	before	.	sweet	.	the	year	is	1985	and	sandler	plays	robbie	hart	,	the	eponymous	wedding	singer	,	a	job	aspiring	rock	stars	often	settle	for	.	when	robbie's	fiance	dumps	him	at	his	own	altar	,	robbie	gets	depressed	and	turns	to	a	plucky	waitress	called	julia	(	drew	barrymore	)	who	has	some	problems	of	her	own	(	she's	marrying	a	hunky	junk	bonds	dealer	who	,	unbeknownst	to	her	,	isn't	that	big	on	monogamy	)	.	it	isn't	giving	anything	away	to	say	that	robbie	and	julia	fall	in	love	.	aww	.	.	.	sandler	and	barrymore	are	a	good	match	and	they're	assisted	by	some	terrific	cameo	appearances	,	including	steve	buscemi	and	jon	lovitz	,	whose	individual	scenes	are	perhaps	the	funniest	in	the	film	.	writer	tim	herlihy	(	with	uncredited	assistance	from	carrie	fisher	)	keeps	the	story	bubbling	along	to	its	predictable	conclusion	.	it	doesn't	all	work	but	it's	handled	with	such	light	heartedness	that	robbie	and	julia	coming	together	generates	more	smiles	than	groans	.	herlihy	and	director	frank	coraci	have	done	a	great	job	of	recreating	the	sights	,	sounds	,	and	affectations	of	the	1980s	.	the	soundtrack	an	ever	present	force	in	the	film	is	packed	with	wall	to	wall	hits	of	the	period	,	new	wave	upon	new	wave	of	songs	from	billy	idol's	"	white	wedding	"	to	the	smiths'	"	how	soon	is	now	?	"	to	culture	club's	"	do	you	really	want	to	hurt	me	?	"	the	mix	of	music	and	fashion	would	make	"	the	wedding	singer	"	a	great	double	feature	with	"	boogie	nights	.	"	if	you	grew	up	listening	to	the	cure	and	a	flock	of	seagulls	and	the	psychedelic	furs	,	then	"	the	wedding	singer	"	is	bound	to	put	a	nostalgic	hop	in	your	stride	.	if	you're	a	fan	of	the	lovable	,	laughable	adam	sandler	,	well	.	.	.	let's	just	say	that	"	the	wedding	singer	"	might	well	be	the	only	film	in	recent	memory	to	make	me	want	to	rent	"	happy	gilmore	.	"
pos	cast	:	matt	damon	,	robin	williams	,	ben	affleck	,	stellan	skarsgard	,	minnie	driver	,	casey	affleck	,	cole	hauser	director	:	gus	van	sant	producer	:	lawrence	bender	screenplay	:	matt	damon	and	ben	affleck	cinematography	:	jean	yves	escoffier	music	:	danny	elfman	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	miramax	films	in	essence	,	good	will	hunting	is	an	ordinary	story	told	well	.	taken	as	a	whole	,	there's	little	that's	special	about	this	tale	it	follows	a	traditional	narrative	path	,	leaves	the	audience	with	a	warm	,	fuzzy	feeling	,	and	never	really	challenges	or	surprises	us	.	but	it's	intelligently	written	(	with	dialogue	that	is	occasionally	brilliant	)	,	strongly	directed	,	and	nicely	acted	.	so	,	while	good	will	hunting	is	far	from	a	late	year	masterpiece	,	it's	a	worthwhile	sample	of	entertainment	.	like	scent	of	a	woman	,	which	was	released	around	this	time	of	the	season	five	years	ago	,	good	will	hunting	is	about	the	unlikely	friendship	that	develops	between	a	world	weary	veteran	and	a	cocky	young	man	.	the	formula	for	the	two	films	is	similar	both	of	the	principals	learn	from	each	other	as	they	slowly	break	down	their	barriers	on	the	way	to	a	better	understanding	of	life	and	their	place	in	it	but	the	characters	are	different	.	al	pacino's	slade	was	a	larger	than	life	individual	;	robin	williams'	sean	mcguire	is	much	more	subtle	.	and	matt	damon's	will	hunting	uses	pugnaciousness	to	supplant	the	blandness	of	chris	o'donnell's	charlie	.	will	is	a	troubled	individual	.	as	a	child	,	he	was	the	frequent	victim	of	abuse	.	an	orphan	,	he	was	in	and	out	of	foster	homes	on	a	regular	basis	.	now	,	not	yet	21	years	old	,	he	has	accumulated	an	impressive	rap	sheet	.	he	has	a	short	temper	and	any	little	incident	can	set	him	off	like	a	spark	in	a	tinder	box	.	but	he's	a	mathematical	genius	with	a	photographic	memory	and	the	ability	to	conceive	simple	solutions	to	complex	problems	.	while	working	as	a	janitor	at	mit	,	he	delights	in	anonymously	proving	theorems	on	the	math	building's	hall	blackboards	.	then	,	one	evening	,	his	anonymity	is	shattered	when	professor	lambeau	(	stellan	skarsgard	)	catches	him	at	work	.	will	flees	,	but	lambeau	tracks	him	down	.	unfortunately	,	by	the	time	the	professor	finds	him	,	will	is	in	jail	for	assaulting	a	police	offer	.	the	judge	agrees	to	release	will	under	two	conditions	:	that	he	spend	one	day	a	week	meeting	with	lambeau	and	that	he	spend	one	day	a	week	meeting	with	a	therapist	.	eventually	,	once	several	psychologists	have	rejected	the	belligerent	young	man	,	sean	mcguire	,	a	teacher	at	bunker	hill	community	college	,	agrees	to	take	the	case	.	after	a	rocky	start	,	the	two	form	a	rapport	and	will	begins	to	explore	issues	and	emotions	he	had	walled	up	behind	impregnable	armor	.	and	,	as	will	advances	his	self	awareness	in	sessions	with	sean	,	he	also	learns	about	friendship	from	his	buddy	,	chuckie	(	ben	affleck	)	,	and	love	from	a	harvard	co	ed	named	skylar	(	minnie	driver	)	.	the	script	,	by	co	stars	matt	damon	and	ben	affleck	,	is	not	a	groundbreaking	piece	of	literature	,	and	occasionally	resorts	to	shameless	manipulation	.	the	characters	are	well	developed	,	however	,	and	there	are	times	when	the	dialogue	positively	sparkles	.	at	one	point	,	will	comments	that	a	session	with	sean	is	turning	into	a	"	taster's	choice	moment	.	"	later	,	will	gives	a	brilliant	,	breathless	diatribe	against	the	nsa	that	has	the	rhythm	of	something	written	by	kevin	smith	.	(	note	:	since	smith	co	executive	produced	good	will	hunting	,	it's	not	out	of	the	question	that	he	had	some	input	into	this	scene	.	)	director	gus	van	sant	(	drugstore	cowboy	,	to	die	for	)	culls	genuine	emotion	from	his	actors	,	and	this	results	in	several	affecting	and	powerful	scenes	.	there's	an	edginess	to	some	of	the	sean	will	therapy	sessions	,	and	the	offscreen	chemistry	between	matt	damon	and	minnie	driver	(	who	became	romantically	linked	while	making	this	film	)	translates	effectively	to	the	movie	the	will	skylar	relationship	is	electric	.	likewise	,	the	companionability	of	damon	and	affleck	is	apparent	in	the	easygoing	nature	of	will	and	chuckie's	friendship	.	many	of	the	individual	scenes	are	strong	enough	to	earn	good	will	hunting	a	recommendation	,	even	if	the	overall	story	is	somewhat	generic	.	matt	damon	,	who	recently	starred	as	the	idealistic	young	lawyer	in	the	rainmaker	,	is	solid	(	although	not	spectacular	)	as	will	.	minnie	driver	(	last	seen	in	grosse	pointe	blank	)	adds	another	strong	performance	to	a	growing	resume	(	and	it's	refreshing	that	she	was	allowed	to	keep	her	british	accent	rather	than	having	to	attempt	an	american	one	)	.	the	outstanding	performance	of	the	film	belongs	to	robin	williams	,	whose	sean	is	sad	and	wise	,	funny	and	somber	.	arguably	the	best	dramatic	work	in	the	actor's	career	(	alongside	what	he	did	in	the	fisher	king	)	,	williams'	portrayal	could	earn	him	a	best	supporting	actor	oscar	nomination	.	adequate	support	is	provided	by	ben	affleck	(	chasing	amy	)	and	stellan	skarsgard	(	breaking	the	waves	)	.	like	most	of	what	comes	before	it	,	the	ending	of	good	will	hunting	is	completely	predictable	.	but	meeting	expectations	and	following	a	familiar	path	aren't	always	bad	things	in	a	movie	,	provided	the	film	accomplishes	those	goals	with	a	modicum	of	style	and	an	attention	to	detail	.	good	will	hunting	does	both	,	and	,	as	a	result	,	earns	a	rating	commensurate	with	the	"	good	"	in	the	title	.
pos	note	to	moderator	:	please	credit	this	review	to	brian	matherly	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	.	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	.	a	thanks	!	cast	:	trey	parker	(	billed	as	"	juan	schwartz	"	)	,	matt	stone	,	dian	bachar	,	jason	mchugh	,	ian	hardin	,	jon	hegel	,	toddy	walters	,	andy	kemler	written	and	directed	by	:	trey	parker	(	billed	as	"	trey	parker	"	)	running	time	:	90	minutes	insane	(	but	inspired	)	musical	about	alferd	packer	,	the	first	man	ever	tried	for	cannibalism	in	america	.	as	the	story	unfolds	we	learn	what	events	led	to	packer	(	trey	parker	)	supposedly	killing	and	eating	the	five	men	who	got	lost	while	accompanying	him	through	the	mountains	of	colorado	in	search	of	gold	.	throughout	,	packer	must	contend	with	evil	trappers	bent	on	stealing	his	prized	horse	,	a	tribe	of	ute'	indians	that	doesn't	seem	quite	on	the	mark	,	and	a	terrible	winter	storm	that	leads	to	the	eventual	cannibalism	.	parker	obviously	knows	his	musicals	very	well	,	because	the	viewer	is	also	treated	to	some	of	the	most	maddeningly	catchy	songs	to	appear	in	a	film	(	he	would	accomplish	this	again	in	his	post	cannibal	!	musical	motion	picture	,	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	,	and	uncut	)	.	apart	from	the	inherent	interest	of	seeing	a	pre	"	south	park	"	parker	and	stone	in	their	first	effort	,	cannibal	!	also	offers	up	some	pretty	decent	laughs	.	the	aforementioned	ute'	indian	tribe	that	packer's	group	encounters	is	a	definite	highlight	,	as	are	two	rousing	musical	numbers	about	snowmen	(	one	of	which	ends	on	a	comedically	deadly	note	)	.	stone's	humphrey	character	steals	the	show	,	especially	when	complaining	about	the	prospect	of	having	to	eat	butt'	or	revealing	what's	underneath	his	muff	cap	.	jason	mchugh's	character	of	mr	.	miller	is	the	stand	out	performance	though	,	as	he	offers	a	hilarious	dissenting	voice	to	the	proceedings	.	as	i	mentioned	before	,	parker's	songs	are	very	catchy	.	you'll	be	hard	pressed	to	get	it's	a	shpadoinkle	day'	out	of	your	head	once	you've	heard	it	(	incidentally	,	the	braniff	logo	that	appears	at	the	end	of	every	"	south	park	"	episode	is	scored	with	a	few	notes	from	this	song	)	.	other	songs	you'll	find	yourself	humming	include	when	i	was	on	top	of	you'	(	a	love	ballad	)	,	the	trapper's	song'	(	the	villains	leit	motif	)	,	and	hang	the	bastard'	(	the	rousing	finale	)	.	thankfully	,	none	of	these	songs	are	quite	as	embarrassing	to	find	yourself	singing	in	public	as	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	uncut's	songs	are	.	released	as	a	pick	up	through	troma	studios	,	the	film	is	available	on	videocassette	and	dvd	.	the	videocassette	includes	an	intro	by	the	beautiful	jane	jensen	and	an	interview	segment	with	lloyd	kaufman	,	discussing	his	admiration	for	parker	and	stone	and	the	fact	that	they	had	been	hired	for	a	zucker	brothers	film	(	which	turned	out	to	be	the	hilarious	baseketball	)	.	there	are	also	multiple	trailers	for	upcoming	troma	films	.	as	for	the	dvd	.	.	.	well	,	that's	a	different	story	.	probably	one	of	the	best	dvd	packages	of	the	year	(	and	potentially	of	all	time	)	,	cannibal	!	the	musical	!	the	dvd	is	a	massive	achievement	.	presented	in	1	.	33	:	1	(	full	frame	)	only	,	the	disc	has	the	usual	troma	inclusions	:	the	tour	of	troma	,	the	troma	intelligence	test	2	,	trailers	for	upcoming	releases	,	but	where	the	disc	truly	shines	is	in	its	cannibal	!	specific	extras	.	the	first	thing	i	must	note	is	,	the	transfer	is	about	as	beautiful	as	any	i've	ever	seen	on	any	disc	.	the	picture	is	crisp	,	clear	,	and	free	from	any	noticeable	artifacts	.	add	to	that	one	of	the	funniest	commentary	tracks	i	have	ever	heard	,	featuring	trey	parker	,	matt	stone	,	jason	mchugh	,	dian	bachar	,	and	andy	kemler	getting	drunker	and	drunker	as	the	track	continues	and	you	still	haven't	scratched	the	surface	of	the	extras	.	there's	also	behind	the	scenes	footage	of	the	shooting	of	the	film	,	a	clip	with	trey	,	matt	,	and	lemmy	(	of	the	band	motorhead	)	from	the	film	terror	firmer	,	an	index	for	easy	location	of	all	of	the	songs	in	the	film	,	and	finally	,	an	index	of	all	the	songs	as	performed	by	the	cast	of	a	stage	production	of	cannibal	!	.	it's	good	to	see	this	film	finally	get	the	treatment	it	deserves	.	kudos	to	the	entire	production	staff	at	troma	and	aix	for	making	one	of	the	most	entertaining	dvds	i	have	seen	in	a	very	long	time	.	reviewed	by	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	rating	:	out	of	7	.	0	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	peter	sellers	(	hrundi	v	.	bakshi	)	,	j	.	edward	mckinley	(	fred	clutterbuck	)	,	herbert	ellis	(	director	)	,	claudine	longet	(	michele	monet	)	director	:	blake	edwards	certification	:	pg	year	of	production	:	1968	the	party	is	one	of	those	classic	slapstick	comedies	that	will	leave	you	,	at	times	,	cracking	up	.	the	film	takes	place	,	for	the	most	part	,	in	real	time	during	an	exclusive	evening	party	that	is	attended	only	by	the	biggest	names	in	hollywood	.	hrundi	v	.	bakshi	,	played	very	well	by	peter	sellers	,	is	a	struggling	actor	who	just	came	to	america	from	his	homeland	,	india	.	hrundi	tries	out	his	acting	talents	,	but	it	seems	that	he	just	isn't	cut	out	for	the	job	.	on	the	set	of	his	current	film	that	he	stars	in	,	hrundi	seems	to	make	everything	go	for	the	worse	.	during	the	filming	of	this	movie	set	in	the	1800's	,	hrundi	manages	to	annoy	the	director	(	herbert	ellis	)	in	any	way	he	can	.	this	includes	a	pitiful	acting	job	in	many	scenes	,	wearing	an	underwater	watch	in	one	scene	,	and	accidentally	detonating	a	massive	set	.	many	of	the	hollywood	producers	and	big	names	want	hrundi	out	of	the	business	forever	.	and	when	the	director	makes	a	personal	phone	call	to	mr	.	clutterbuck	(	j	.	edward	mckinley	)	pleading	for	hrundi's	ejection	from	hollywood	,	everything	is	pretty	much	over	for	hrundi	.	clutterbuck	writes	his	name	down	on	a	piece	of	paper	to	insure	that	hrundi	will	never	again	work	in	hollywood	.	but	when	this	piece	of	paper	turns	out	to	be	the	guest	list	for	clutterbuck's	exclusive	party	,	hrundi	is	invited	,	and	certain	chaos	is	bound	to	occur	.	of	course	,	as	predicted	,	hrundi	causes	lots	of	trouble	.	each	scene	in	which	hrundi	encounters	a	situation	,	usually	one	that	he	can't	handle	,	is	almost	always	very	humorous	.	and	each	scene	with	hrundi	and	the	drunken	waiter	,	who	is	alone	hilarious	,	adds	to	the	comedy	in	a	great	way	.	the	party	can	be	compared	to	many	other	films	of	it's	type	,	specifically	the	trio	of	naked	gun	movies	and	the	airplane	movies	,	but	the	party	is	a	delightful	movie	that	incorporates	very	well	played	out	comedy	into	believable	situations	.	it	also	includes	a	number	of	memorable	scenes	(	can	anyone	say	"	birdy	num	num	"	?	)	.	if	you're	in	the	mood	for	fun	and	enjoyable	slapstick	comedy	,	check	out	the	party	.	it's	not	going	to	be	one	of	your	all	time	favorites	,	but	if	you	enjoy	this	type	of	humor	,	you'll	enjoy	the	party	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	cast	:	don	mckellar	,	sandra	oh	,	david	cronenberg	,	genevive	bujold	,	tracy	wright	,	sarah	polley	,	callum	keith	rennie	written	and	directed	by	:	don	mckellar	running	time	:	96	minutes	well	i'll	be	damned	.	.	.	the	canadians	can	make	a	good	movie	.	the	world	is	coming	to	an	end	.	we	don't	know	why	or	how	,	but	apparently	there	is	no	way	to	stop	it	.	the	world	has	had	this	information	for	months	,	as	most	of	the	rioting	and	other	assorted	chaos	has	passed	and	governments	have	shut	down	operations	.	yet	for	a	handful	of	toronto	citizens	,	life	goes	on	.	they	aren't	going	crazy	or	attacking	people	in	the	streets	.	instead	they	are	simply	preparing	themselves	for	the	end	.	.	.	some	engaging	in	activities	they've	always	wanted	to	do	,	some	gathering	with	family	and	friends	,	and	others	just	seeking	to	be	alone	.	these	people's	lives	however	all	intersect	during	their	final	six	hours	.	writer	director	star	don	mckellar	has	crafted	a	highly	unique	and	emotional	film	.	all	of	the	main	characters	are	compelling	as	they	try	and	do	whatever	it	is	they	need	to	do	on	their	last	night	on	earth	.	craig	(	callum	keith	rennie	)	tries	to	fulfill	all	his	sexual	fantasies	,	a	gas	company	employee	(	david	cronenberg	)	calls	every	customer	letting	them	know	the	gas	will	be	flowing	until	the	very	end	and	thanks	them	for	their	business	,	and	patrick	(	mckellar	)	just	wants	to	be	by	himself	but	isn't	having	much	success	.	even	minor	characters	keep	popping	up	where	you	least	expect	them	to	,	tying	everyone	even	closer	.	things	seemed	a	little	hokey	towards	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	but	ultimately	everything	comes	together	nicely	(	although	it's	not	a	happy	film	.	.	.	some	moments	are	understandably	gut	wrenching	)	.	the	story	is	enhanced	by	some	unexpected	humor	and	very	realistic	performances	,	particularly	from	sandra	oh	,	whose	character	is	just	trying	to	get	home	to	her	husband	before	the	end	.	i	have	absolutely	no	problem	that	the	reason	for	the	end	of	the	world	is	never	given	,	nor	does	it	bother	me	that	the	world	is	ending	at	exactly	12	midnight	(	in	toronto	anyway	)	.	but	i	do	wonder	why	the	sun	never	sets	.	come	midnight	,	the	sun	is	still	shining	brightly	.	maybe	the	sun	is	crashing	into	the	earth	.	.	.	who	knows	.	also	,	it's	comforting	to	know	that	in	mankind's	final	moments	on	the	planet	,	people	will	still	gang	up	on	the	street	for	the	sheer	purpose	of	pushing	over	a	car	or	a	bus	(	that's	not	a	shot	at	this	film	mind	you	.	.	.	i	know	people	are	just	stupid	and	truly	would	be	out	in	the	street	tipping	over	cars	)	.	last	night	is	available	on	dvd	from	universal	home	video	.	it	contains	the	film	in	fullscreen	format	and	includes	the	original	theatrical	trailer	.	r	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	this	remake	of	"	la	cage	aux	folles	"	features	a	gay	couple	pretending	to	be	straight	in	order	to	pull	the	wool	over	the	eyes	of	their	son's	future	in	laws	.	the	couple	(	robin	williams	and	nathan	lane	)	are	about	as	archetypal	,	or	as	the	less	kind	might	put	it	stereotypical	,	gays	possible	.	williams	owns	a	nightclub	featuring	drag	queens	where	his	partner	performs	as	the	featured	star	.	they	live	above	the	club	in	what	could	not	possibly	be	mistaken	as	a	heterosexual	abode	.	williams	is	excellent	as	should	be	no	surprise	.	gene	hackman	as	right	wing	potential	father	in	law	is	refreshing	in	one	of	his	few	comedic	roles	.	the	real	star	is	lane	.	his	attempted	transformation	from	one	of	the	most	obviously	gay	men	in	the	world	to	the	straight	shooting	uncle	is	hilarious	.	perhaps	it	is	a	personal	failing	on	my	part	,	but	the	crying	and	screaming	drag	queen	faux	high	drama	just	grates	on	my	nerves	and	the	first	few	minutes	of	this	film	are	filled	with	it	.	luckily	(	for	me	at	least	)	,	it	doesn't	last	long	and	the	rest	of	the	story	focuses	on	the	relationship	between	the	men	,	their	son	and	the	deception	.	the	question	of	stereotypes	is	a	touchy	one	.	these	guys	personify	the	homophobic	gay	image	.	you	can	almost	hear	the	swishing	.	if	you	think	that	they	are	supposed	to	be	representative	of	every	gay	man	in	the	world	,	you'll	be	outraged	.	but	if	you	can	accept	the	view	is	that	this	is	a	movie	about	gay	individuals	,	you'll	love	it	.	your	choice	.	this	appeared	in	the	4	25	96	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	capsule	:	the	director	of	cure	brings	a	weird	and	very	complex	concept	to	the	screen	.	one	viewing	will	not	be	enough	to	understand	fully	the	premise	of	pulse	.	the	idea	is	something	about	ghosts	and	the	internet	.	the	film	has	an	amazing	apocalyptic	style	.	rating	:	7	(	0	to	10	)	,	2	(	4	to	4	)	perhaps	the	most	disturbing	(	and	disturbed	?	)	filmmaker	in	the	world	is	kiyoshi	kurosawa	.	his	films	all	seem	to	have	one	style	,	bleak	.	the	worlds	he	creates	are	terrifying	and	cold	.	little	known	in	the	us	to	date	,	his	films	deliver	the	kind	of	horror	that	so	many	of	our	filmmakers	promise	and	are	unable	to	deliver	.	most	of	his	ideas	are	fresh	and	at	the	same	time	morbid	.	his	1998	film	cure	,	with	one	of	his	niftiest	ideas	,	is	just	now	getting	a	sadly	limited	release	in	the	us	and	hopefully	enough	people	will	see	it	that	his	name	will	soon	be	one	to	conjure	with	.	cure	is	probably	his	classic	.	last	year	he	released	seance	,	a	remake	of	seance	on	a	wet	afternoon	.	that	was	perhaps	a	miscalculation	inserting	supernatural	elements	into	a	non	supernatural	story	.	pulse	is	kurosawa	back	on	form	.	taguchi	,	a	young	computer	expert	,	is	late	with	his	delivery	of	some	important	software	.	two	co	workers	go	to	his	apartment	and	find	it	a	dismal	dark	affair	in	spite	of	his	computer	equipment	.	taguchi	,	acting	very	strangely	,	lets	his	friends	look	for	the	missing	software	.	meanwhile	he	slips	behind	a	plastic	curtain	.	when	he	fails	to	respond	to	calls	his	friends	follow	him	behind	the	curtain	and	discover	he	has	hanged	himself	.	if	that	was	not	horror	enough	the	body	seems	to	disappear	leaving	just	a	strange	dark	mildew	like	spot	on	the	wall	.	taguchi's	computer	seems	to	have	been	infected	with	some	kind	of	computer	virus	.	people	whose	computer	gets	the	virus	seem	superficially	to	die	via	suicide	.	but	they	are	not	entirely	dead	.	their	spirits	seem	to	remain	present	somehow	in	the	real	world	and	on	the	internet	.	people	who	get	the	computer	virus	are	asked	if	they	want	to	see	a	ghost	.	if	they	say	yes	,	they	seem	to	be	able	to	see	real	time	images	of	the	spirits	still	nearby	somehow	.	the	computer	shows	them	impossible	images	of	ghosts	in	their	own	rooms	as	seen	from	cameras	that	do	not	exist	.	this	is	all	somehow	connected	to	heaven	and	hell	somehow	filling	up	and	overflowing	"	like	a	computer	disk	.	"	instead	the	dead	seem	to	be	staying	on	earth	and	inhabiting	computer	viruses	.	there	is	some	sort	of	passage	between	worlds	having	something	to	do	with	doors	marked	with	red	tape	and	strange	electronic	disturbances	on	computers	.	leave	it	to	kurosawa	to	find	a	new	kind	of	death	.	this	is	a	film	that	has	more	weird	ideas	piled	together	than	lifeforce	and	somehow	kurosawa	makes	the	film	all	work	.	it	may	not	totally	convey	his	message	of	isolation	and	its	parallels	to	death	,	but	whatever	it	does	convey	is	nightmarish	.	kurosawa	,	who	directs	his	own	screenplay	,	ties	his	story	into	the	real	world	with	some	familiar	and	accurate	computer	discussion	.	frequently	the	plot	is	advanced	with	character	hunches	being	assumed	to	be	fact	.	his	plotting	is	frequently	hard	to	follow	and	always	very	strange	.	junichiro	hayashi	,	the	cinematographer	who	recently	has	been	doing	all	of	kurosawa's	films	,	creates	a	dark	,	cold	,	and	gloomy	tone	.	images	are	obscured	by	semi	lighting	or	are	behind	plastic	curtain	.	scenes	are	not	milked	for	their	horror	the	way	american	exploitation	films	might	.	people	are	shot	with	guns	but	there	is	little	if	any	blood	in	evidence	.	seeing	black	silhouettes	on	computer	screens	is	not	immediately	scary	.	kurosawa	is	not	going	for	and	easy	visual	shock	,	but	a	deeper	metaphysical	dread	.	of	any	horror	filmmaker	in	the	world	,	kiyoshi	kurosawa	is	the	one	to	watch	.	i	rate	this	metaphysical	look	at	isolation	a	7	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	2	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
pos	made	(	2001	)	3	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	jon	favreau	,	vince	vaughn	,	sean	combs	,	peter	falk	,	famke	janssen	,	faizon	leve	and	vincent	pastore	.	written	and	directed	by	jon	favreau	.	rated	r	.	94	minutes	.	made	is	a	comedy	drama	friendship	movie	cloaked	in	the	garb	of	the	mobster	genre	.	making	his	directorial	debut	,	actor	jon	favreau	brings	along	his	swingers	co	star	,	vince	vaughn	,	for	this	tale	of	two	mugs	on	a	career	trajectory	to	nowheresville	.	favreau	,	who	also	wrote	the	script	,	is	bobby	,	vaughn	is	ricky	.	by	day	they	are	construction	workers	.	they	also	are	wanna	be	contenders	,	but	neither	has	had	much	success	.	their	last	bout	pitted	them	against	each	other	and	was	a	draw	,	leaving	bobby's	record	at	5	5	1	.	these	two	l	.	a	.	not	so	wise	guys	also	work	for	max	(	peter	falk	)	,	a	mid	level	mobster	,	who	is	patient	and	understanding	with	bobby	,	but	who	hates	ricky's	guts	.	max	has	an	easy	job	for	bobby	;	fly	to	new	york	and	make	a	simple	delivery	to	a	gangster	named	ruiz	(	a	smooth	and	silky	sean	combs	)	.	bobby	,	because	of	his	lifelong	friendship	with	ricky	,	pleads	with	max	to	give	his	pal	another	chance	and	let	him	tag	along	to	the	big	apple	.	against	his	better	judgment	,	max	agrees	.	of	course	ricky	,	a	motormouth	who	inserts	both	feet	everytime	he	speaks	,	nearly	screws	up	everything	.	while	bobby	tries	to	stay	calm	and	professional	,	ricky	begins	swaggering	and	throwing	money	around	as	if	he	was	john	gotti	or	tony	soprano	.	the	constrast	in	styles	and	the	chemistry	between	favreau	and	vaughn	is	what	makes	made	so	enjoyable	to	watch	.	favreau	with	his	hound	dog	face	and	slow	burn	personality	could	be	a	modern	day	oliver	hardy	,	only	much	wiser	.	vaughn	is	like	someone	vaccinated	with	a	phonograph	needle	,	he	just	keeps	yakking	and	yakking	,	unaware	of	the	havoc	he	creates	.	yet	despite	bobby's	constant	aggravation	and	agitation	with	his	partner	,	a	bond	of	affection	and	loyalty	binds	them	.	the	contrast	between	the	two	friends	is	interesting	to	watch	.	bobby	is	button	downed	,	tightly	wound	,	always	waiting	for	the	next	shoe	courtesy	of	ricky	to	drop	.	ricky	is	mostly	oblivious	to	the	problems	he	creates	and	is	genuinely	surprised	when	he	comes	under	attack	for	his	faux	paus	.	in	new	york	,	the	two	lackeys	are	like	fish	out	of	water	,	stumbling	from	one	situation	to	another	,	trying	to	keep	alive	.	combs	is	elegant	,	cool	and	low	key	menacing	as	the	gangsta	they	are	sent	to	meet	.	falk	is	amusing	in	his	small	role	,	while	famke	janssen	nearly	breaks	your	heart	as	bobby's	lowlife	girlfriend	.	more	than	anything	,	made	is	a	movie	with	heart	.	it	is	loud	,	obnoxious	and	very	talkative	.	but	the	cameraderie	between	bobby	and	ricky	holds	the	key	to	its	interest	.	favreau	does	a	commendable	job	in	his	directorial	debut	.	he	is	a	player	to	be	watched	as	he	can	only	improve	with	experience	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
pos	if	there's	one	thing	sandra	bullock	desperately	needs	,	it's	a	decent	script	to	get	her	career	restarted	.	after	a	series	of	flops	(	"	speed	2	"	,	"	forces	of	nature	"	)	,	she	needs	a	good	script	with	a	good	costar	.	well	,	"	gun	shy	"	is	a	rather	entertaining	script	,	and	she	has	the	always	great	liam	neeson	as	her	costar	,	but	there	are	two	serious	problems	:	first	,	the	film	was	released	at	what	could	be	the	worst	possible	time	,	the	same	weekend	as	"	scream	3	.	second	,	sandra	bullock	appears	in	perhaps	six	scenes	throughout	the	film	.	everyone	finished	gasping	in	disbelief	?	that's	right	folks	,	despite	what	the	previews	may	have	led	you	to	believe	,	"	gun	shy	"	is	hardly	a	romantic	comedy	because	there	is	seldom	a	female	presence	.	the	thing	is	,	the	film	might	be	better	as	a	result	.	charlie	mayough	(	liam	neeson	)	is	an	undercover	dea	officer	who	is	on	his	last	assignment	before	retirement	.	the	problem	is	,	he	can't	bring	himself	complete	the	assignment	unless	he	constantly	attends	group	therapy	to	keep	his	nerves	under	control	.	charlie's	final	assignment	involves	catching	illegal	funds	on	a	group	of	mafia	types	,	led	by	the	uptight	fulvio	(	oliver	platt	)	.	as	a	result	of	charlie's	nerves	,	he's	having	another	problem	,	which	involves	his	,	uh	,	bowles	.	well	,	he	visits	a	proctologist	named	jane	(	sandra	bullock	)	,	who	promises	she	can	fix	all	his	anxiety	problems	in	two	weeks	by	dating	him	.	it's	not	very	often	that	a	romantic	subplot	feels	quite	so	tacked	on	as	it	does	here	.	bullock's	character	serves	absolutely	no	purpose	,	other	than	to	give	charlie	occasional	words	of	encouragment	and	to	solve	his	prostatic	difficulties	.	in	fact	,	if	her	character	had	been	eliminated	entirely	and	more	of	the	film	had	focused	on	oliver	platt	and	his	cohorts	,	this	probably	would	have	been	a	much	better	film	.	speaking	of	oliver	platt	,	he	is	a	riot	as	a	hit	man	who	hates	being	made	up	entirely	of	cliches	.	the	truth	is	,	oliver	platt	makes	this	movie	.	liam	neeson	may	be	a	great	actor	,	but	he	isn't	given	much	to	work	with	here	.	platt	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	given	some	truly	great	scenes	.	for	example	,	near	the	start	of	the	film	,	platt	is	seated	across	from	a	neighbor	,	telling	him	that	in	the	middle	east	they	chop	the	hands	off	thieves	.	he	then	prepares	to	do	this	to	the	neighbor	for	reasons	we're	not	quite	sure	of	,	but	it's	hysterical	when	we	find	out	.	charlie's	sessions	with	his	therapy	group	are	fairly	amusing	,	particularly	when	he	runs	into	one	of	them	while	on	assignment	.	unfortunately	,	any	other	time	when	oliver	platt	is	not	on	screen	,	things	tend	to	drag	some	.	we're	also	introduced	to	someone	that	may	possibly	be	the	most	irritating	character	i've	seen	in	years	.	jason	(	i	believe	played	by	andrew	lauer	)	is	a	big	time	wallstreet	dealer	,	who	shows	up	to	invest	the	gangsters'	money	.	he	is	about	five	foot	ten	,	has	an	obnoxious	,	high	pitched	voice	,	and	laughs	insanely	at	everything	.	after	seeing	him	on	screen	for	about	ten	minutes	,	i	really	wanted	to	kill	this	character	with	my	bare	hands	.	i	was	tempted	to	knock	a	half	star	off	my	rating	simply	because	he	was	present	.	the	other	supporting	characters	,	while	certainly	eccentric	,	are	more	amusing	than	annoying	.	watch	for	an	appearance	by	mitch	pileggi	,	of	x	files	fame	,	as	charlie's	boss	.	the	funny	thing	is	,	it's	almost	the	exact	same	character	he	plays	in	"	the	x	files	"	.	one	last	thing	i	must	note	is	that	i	had	a	very	hard	time	imagining	a	beautiful	proctologist	going	out	with	one	of	her	patients	right	after	attending	to	him	.	i	had	an	even	harder	time	believing	that	charlie	could	have	made	it	through	the	first	date	without	constantly	thinking	about	everything	she	had	seen	.	"	gun	shy	"	is	obviously	not	an	incredible	comedy	.	it	is	,	however	,	an	amusing	,	harmless	little	comedy	that	has	has	a	lot	of	chuckles	and	a	few	true	belly	laughs	.	the	film	may	only	run	100	minutes	,	but	things	do	tend	to	drag	a	bit	by	the	end	,	which	is	drawn	out	well	past	what	is	needed	.	i'd	recommend	the	film	to	fans	of	liam	neeson	and	oliver	platt	,	but	not	to	fans	of	sandra	bullock	,	since	there	isn't	much	of	her	in	it	.	i	give	it	three	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	if	you're	the	type	of	person	who	goes	on	the	submarine	ride	every	time	you	visit	disneyland	,	you're	going	to	love	the	hunt	for	red	october	.	you'll	also	love	the	film	if	you	enjoy	cat	and	mouse	military	tactics	,	or	if	you're	a	sean	connery	or	alec	baldwin	fan	,	or	if	you	admired	director	john	mctiernan's	earlier	films	,	die	hard	and	predator	.	in	fact	,	the	only	people	likely	to	be	disappointed	with	the	hunt	for	red	october	are	those	who	have	read	the	book	,	since	films	almost	never	live	up	to	the	novels	which	inspired	them	.	the	hunt	for	red	october	is	an	epic	thriller	,	adapted	from	tom	clancy's	best	selling	novel	.	set	in	an	era	before	glasnost	,	the	movie	revolves	around	a	top	secret	soviet	submarine	,	called	the	red	october	.	the	nuclear	sub	has	a	revolutionary	propulsion	system	,	which	makes	the	vessel	silent	and	allows	it	to	escape	sonar	detection	.	the	red	october	embarks	on	its	maiden	voyage	under	the	command	of	captain	marko	ramius	,	played	by	sean	connery	.	ramius	has	strict	orders	just	to	test	the	submarine	,	but	he	has	other	ideas	.	he	takes	the	sub	and	its	crew	and	disappears	into	the	atlantic	ocean	.	is	he	planning	to	start	world	war	iii	?	cia	analyst	jack	ryan	doesn't	think	so	;	he's	convinced	that	ramius	plans	to	defect	to	the	u	.	s	.	ryan	,	played	by	alec	baldwin	,	is	given	three	days	to	prove	his	theory	and	find	the	missing	sub	.	the	characters	in	the	hunt	for	red	october	are	paper	thin	,	but	the	performances	,	thankfully	,	are	rock	solid	.	baldwin	and	connery	anchor	the	film	with	their	customary	vigor	.	sam	neil	gives	a	sturdy	performance	as	connery's	somber	first	officer	.	it's	ironic	to	see	neil	and	connery	playing	russians	,	since	they	are	both	best	known	for	their	roles	as	british	agents	,	connery	as	james	bond	and	neil	as	reilly	,	"	ace	of	spies	.	"	the	large	cast	also	includes	scott	glenn	,	james	earl	jones	,	tim	curry	,	and	joss	ackland	,	plus	richard	jordan	as	the	smooth	u	.	s	.	national	security	adviser	.	the	special	effects	are	remarkable	,	but	more	than	anything	,	the	hunt	for	red	october	is	distinguished	by	its	water	tight	plot	.	screenwriters	larry	ferguson	and	donald	stewart	have	gracefully	navigated	red	october	through	a	story	line	full	of	twists	and	turns	.	they	keep	us	involved	in	the	action	by	unveiling	plot	strands	at	just	the	right	moment	.	the	movie	doesn't	get	as	sweaty	or	breathless	as	die	hard	,	because	it	would	rather	tell	a	good	story	than	hit	you	over	the	head	with	non	stop	action	.	the	finale	is	rousing	and	suspenseful	,	but	essentially	,	the	hunt	for	red	october	is	a	superior	potboiler	.
pos	capsule	:	smart	and	compulsively	watchable	,	if	fanciful	,	thriller	that	employs	the	story	of	the	jackal	to	good	psychological	effect	.	aidan	quinn	is	worth	admission	.	before	the	terrible	bruce	willis	thriller	the	jackal	hit	theaters	,	a	modestly	budgeted	and	far	superior	treatment	of	the	same	basic	material	came	and	went	,	with	nary	a	whisper	of	promotion	or	even	acclaim	.	too	bad	.	the	assignment	is	a	far	better	movie	not	a	classic	,	but	it	entertains	and	engrosses	aptly	which	were	two	things	the	other	movie	couldn't	do	.	the	facts	behind	the	story	are	now	history	:	the	jackal	was	the	moniker	used	by	a	man	named	carlos	,	who	apparently	masterminded	or	at	least	spearheaded	many	of	the	most	(	in	)	famous	terrorist	actions	in	recent	history	.	he	,	among	others	,	ransomed	the	members	of	opec	at	gunpoint	an	incident	which	is	recapped	in	the	early	minutes	of	this	film	.	one	of	the	cia	men	,	henry	fields	(	donald	sutherland	)	,	tries	to	get	close	enough	to	carlos	to	liquidate	him	with	a	"	lead	handshake	"	(	a	gun	in	the	sleeve	)	,	but	his	advisors	collar	him	before	he	can	pull	it	off	.	carlos	vanishes	with	his	captives	.	flash	forward	.	an	american	soldier	,	annibal	ramirez	(	aidan	quinn	)	,	is	yanked	into	custody	by	a	mossad	agent	,	amos	(	ben	kingsley	)	.	ramirez	is	a	ringer	for	carlos	;	there	is	some	mountingly	funny	byplay	when	we	realize	that	it's	not	carlos	playing	dumb	,	or	even	carlos	playing	the	hotheaded	american	bit	.	this	guy	really	is	an	american	soldier	,	and	he	really	is	gonna	sue	amos	into	next	wednesday	when	he	gets	home	.	fields	introduces	himself	to	annibal	and	ingratiates	himself	with	him	.	they	want	carlos	,	and	annibal	is	a	great	way	for	them	to	trap	him	.	annibal	wants	nothing	to	do	with	any	spy	games	,	but	after	some	unpleasant	manipulation	,	they	take	him	under	their	wing	and	begin	remaking	him	into	a	)	a	spy	and	b	)	a	psychological	twin	for	carlos	.	they	do	a	frighteningly	good	job	.	this	is	one	of	the	best	parts	of	the	movie	,	where	we	see	annibal's	straight	arrow	military	persona	being	strip	mined	and	replaced	with	a	grasping	,	selfish	and	amoral	one	all	the	better	for	him	to	pass	for	carlos	.	the	movie	has	a	smartness	to	it	that	i	don't	see	much	of	in	american	thrillers	more	of	a	feel	for	the	way	spy	games	really	are	conducted	,	complete	with	double	crosses	and	screw	ups	the	way	they	probably	do	go	down	.	maybe	that	has	something	to	do	with	this	being	a	canadian	french	co	production	,	rather	than	a	wholly	american	one	,	and	it's	reflected	in	the	way	the	story	plays	out	.	we	don't	get	an	ending	where	everything	is	settled	with	the	right	guy	getting	shot	,	although	we	do	get	an	extra	,	tacked	on	epilogue	that's	a	bit	more	gratuitous	than	we	really	needed	.	what	is	best	here	is	the	acting	.	here	we	have	three	actors	doing	a	great	job	sutherland	,	quinn	,	and	kingsley	,	all	in	a	three	way	psychic	fencing	match	.	one	of	them	is	trying	to	trap	a	monster	;	one	is	trying	to	create	one	.	and	one	is	becoming	more	of	one	than	he	ever	dreamed	.	it's	neat	to	watch	.	posted	via	deja	news	,	the	leader	in	internet	discussion	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	a	now	offering	spam	free	web	based	newsreading
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	buena	vista	international	on	january	7	,	2000	;	certificate	18	;	121	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	martin	scorsese	;	produced	by	barbara	de	fina	,	scott	rudin	.	written	by	paul	schrader	;	based	on	the	novel	by	joe	connelly	.	photographed	by	robert	richardson	;	edited	by	thelma	schoonmaker	.	go	long	enough	without	sleep	and	you	don't	just	feel	tired	,	you	feel	like	you're	in	another	world	.	hot	and	cold	take	turns	to	surge	through	your	body	as	you	stagger	and	yawn	.	you	mumble	nonsense	,	speak	with	great	clarity	,	then	relapse	into	mumbling	again	.	your	eyes	open	and	close	like	frustrated	curtains	as	you	drift	between	alertness	and	snoozing	.	the	self	destructive	feelings	are	heightened	if	you	haven't	eaten	,	and	are	surviving	on	cigarette	smoke	,	or	coffee	,	or	booze	.	trust	me	.	i	have	experience	in	this	area	.	frank	pierce	,	the	new	york	city	ambulance	driver	played	by	nicolas	cage	in	"	bringing	out	the	dead	"	,	lives	like	this	for	weeks	on	end	.	he	sees	himself	as	a	"	grief	mop	"	,	paid	to	bear	witness	to	hopeless	situations	,	and	it's	damaging	him	.	he	gets	through	the	long	days	and	nights	on	a	diet	of	whisky	,	coffee	and	marlboros	,	begging	his	boss	to	fire	him	because	he	hasn't	got	the	energy	to	quit	.	the	film	has	been	written	by	paul	schrader	and	directed	by	martin	scorsese	,	and	has	been	unfairly	compared	to	their	1976	masterpiece	"	taxi	driver	"	.	both	pictures	feature	angst	ridden	insomniac	protagonists	who	look	out	at	the	urban	jungle	from	uncomfortable	driver's	seats	,	and	both	have	dizzying	images	of	garish	neon	light	.	but	"	taxi	driver	"	was	about	a	sensitive	vietnam	vet	whose	terrible	experiences	were	turning	him	into	a	psychopath	;	"	bringing	out	the	dead	"	follows	an	essentially	good	man	who	is	aware	and	afraid	of	his	impending	mental	collapse	.	once	,	of	course	,	frank	was	good	at	his	job	acting	with	skill	and	speed	,	relishing	the	satisfaction	of	saving	peoples'	lives	.	now	he	wanders	around	like	a	zombie	,	essentially	performing	a	taxi	service	for	corpses	and	crank	callers	.	he	feels	tormented	by	the	ghosts	of	those	who	he	failed	to	save	,	and	sometimes	hears	their	voices	:	particularly	haunting	is	an	asthmatic	18	year	old	girl	named	rose	,	whose	death	signalled	the	beginning	of	frank's	unlucky	streak	.	we	follow	frank	around	for	three	days	,	and	see	him	work	with	three	other	ambulance	men	:	larry	(	john	goodman	)	,	a	family	man	who	dreams	of	starting	his	own	private	medical	service	;	marcus	(	ving	rhames	)	,	who	calls	himself	a	christian	but	has	a	mischievous	spirit	;	and	tom	(	tom	sizemore	)	,	who	can	only	be	described	as	a	nutcase	.	each	of	these	men	is	distinctively	written	and	played	,	and	yet	,	in	some	odd	way	,	all	three	shifts	seem	the	same	.	whoever's	in	the	ambulance	with	you	,	it's	just	another	miserable	day	on	the	job	.	most	of	the	characters	that	are	revisited	by	the	screenplay	revolve	in	some	way	around	mary	(	patricia	arquette	)	,	a	recovering	drug	addict	who	frank	thinks	he	could	fall	in	love	with	.	her	father	is	in	hospital	after	a	heart	attack	.	a	crazy	guy	from	her	neighbourhood	keeps	putting	himself	in	dangerous	situations	,	and	winding	up	in	frank's	vehicle	.	and	her	former	drug	dealer	is	given	some	attention	,	too	.	but	none	of	this	stuff	really	signifies	much	,	because	"	bringing	out	the	dead	"	is	told	from	frank's	point	of	view	,	and	is	about	his	inability	to	find	meaning	in	anything	.	that's	not	as	bleak	as	it	sounds	,	because	the	closing	shots	leave	us	with	the	impression	that	frank	will	eventually	find	some	peace	in	his	life	.	but	it	is	exhausting	,	because	to	get	the	point	across	schrader	and	scorsese	have	had	to	make	a	two	hour	film	in	which	nothing	can	be	seen	to	develop	after	the	initial	set	up	.	and	yet	i	recommend	"	bringing	out	the	dead	"	as	a	marvellous	atmospheric	achievement	.	like	frank	,	from	the	opening	moments	we're	immersed	in	neon	light	and	bumpy	automobile	movements	,	and	in	such	techniques	as	jump	cuts	,	dissolves	,	slow	motion	,	fast	motion	and	subjective	camera	.	scorsese's	instinct	to	employ	robert	richardson	was	a	good	one	the	cinematographer's	juxtaposition	of	extreme	brightness	and	darkness	create	an	overpoweringly	drowsy	mood	that	brings	us	into	frank's	head	.	not	that	it's	a	particularly	nice	place	to	be	,	as	cage	demonstrates	with	his	amazing	performance	whenever	we	glimpse	him	,	he's	hollow	eyed	,	desperate	,	hunched	over	,	hesitant	.	there	is	much	dark	humour	in	this	movie	,	arising	from	the	absurdity	of	some	of	the	patients'	predicaments	,	and	the	twisted	games	we	see	medics	engage	in	to	pass	the	time	.	but	it's	the	harsher	images	that	stick	in	our	minds	,	because	scorsese	makes	us	feel	like	we're	seeing	them	first	hand	.	john	lennon	once	sung	about	"	a	place	where	nothing	is	real	.	.	.	where	everything	flows	"	.	i'm	sure	frank	pierce	would	love	to	go	there	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantganiplease	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	onegin	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	bill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	bill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	ralph	fiennes	,	liv	tyler	,	toby	stephens	,	lena	headey	screenplay	by	peter	ettedgui	and	michael	ignatieff	,	based	on	the	poem	"	yevgeny	onegin	"	by	alexander	pushkin	directed	by	martha	fiennes	"	when	will	the	devil	take	me	?	"	he	asks	rhetorically	in	lulling	voice	over	.	the	spoiled	title	character	of	_	onegin	_	(	pronounced	oh	negg	in	)	is	waiting	on	death	to	relieve	him	after	a	lifetime	of	rapacious	behaviour	.	martha	fiennes'	debut	feature	is	(	quite	literally	)	filmed	poetry	(	it's	based	on	an	epic	russian	poem	by	alexander	pushkin	)	,	a	profound	study	of	regret	,	of	how	we	confuse	shame	with	guilt	.	when	we	first	meet	eugene	onegin	(	ralph	,	acting	for	his	sister	;	another	brother	,	magnus	,	composed	the	score	)	,	a	philandering	aristocrat	from	st	.	petersburg	,	he	has	just	inherited	his	uncle's	estate	.	with	plans	to	sell	it	,	onegin	pays	a	summer	visit	to	the	manor	,	which	is	located	in	an	underpopulated	russian	countryside	,	and	not	long	into	the	trip	he	meets	a	neighbouring	family	of	blue	bloods	.	smitten	with	olga	larina	(	headey	)	,	he	befriends	olga's	fianc	,	vladimir	lensky	(	stephens	)	,	while	olga's	sister	,	tatyana	(	tyler	)	,	romanticizing	his	flippant	attitude	(	he's	a	nineteenth	bad	boy	)	,	falls	for	onegin	.	in	one	sweaty	,	inky	torrent	of	passion	,	tatyana	writes	him	a	love	letter	.	he	is	at	least	intrigued	by	the	note	but	rejects	her	affections	,	it	is	implied	,	because	he	can	.	soon	after	,	tragedy	strikes	,	and	onegin	makes	himself	scarce	.	when	we	catch	up	with	him	,	six	years	later	,	he	has	just	returned	to	st	.	petersburg	,	where	at	a	grand	ball	he	discovers	that	an	old	friend	(	donovan	)	has	married	a	more	womanly	and	wordly	tatyana	.	this	time	,	onegin	finds	her	irresistable	.	what	is	most	amazing	about	ralph	fiennes'	performance	is	his	subtle	physical	transformation	from	dashing	snob	to	miserly	grouch	.	overwhelmed	by	a	top	hat	,	the	onegin	who	pines	for	tatyana	seems	smaller	in	stature	than	the	one	who	brushed	her	off	,	an	ebeneezer	scrooge	trapped	in	christmas	past	.	the	actor	has	been	constricted	playing	heroes	for	too	long	now	there's	room	to	breathe	in	a	role	that's	made	up	of	shades	of	gray	like	"	onegin	"	.	petula	clark	sang	of	a	universal	phenomenon	in	"	parking	lot	"	:	"	you	don't	know	what	you've	got	til	it's	gone	.	"	onegin's	about	face	on	tatyana	speaks	for	those	of	us	(	read	:	most	of	us	)	who	need	confirmation	that	someone	or	something	is	wanted	by	others	before	we	want	it	as	well	.	what	the	character	feels	is	not	jealousy	but	remorse	,	embarrassment	,	even	,	at	having	let	her	go	.	out	of	identification	we	feel	empathy	for	onegin	,	a	callous	bastard	.	tatyana's	emotions	echo	a	thousand	ditties	,	but	that	makes	them	no	less	vital	.	she	changes	,	too	,	from	a	girl	in	crush	to	a	woman	with	divided	loyalties	.	tyler	acquits	herself	surprisingly	well	among	her	uk	co	stars	,	filling	in	sketchy	gaps	by	expressing	base	sentiments	in	a	series	of	wanton	stares	.	they	both	have	faces	,	mr	.	fiennes	and	ms	.	tyler	,	capable	of	conveying	archetypal	russian	misery	.	_	onegin	_	could	have	added	up	to	little	more	than	a	distinguished	episode	of	"	masterpiece	theater	"	,	even	with	its	current	cast	of	thoroughbreds	intact	,	were	martha	fiennes	not	at	the	helm	.	an	mtv	background	(	she	cut	her	teeth	directing	rock	videos	for	xtc	and	others	)	has	positively	influenced	her	sense	of	pace	(	though	,	thankfully	,	not	her	shot	lengths	no	spasmodic	cutting	here	)	;	at	just	over	100	minutes	,	_	onegin	_	clicks	along	like	a	brisk	walk	through	valleys	of	despair	.	the	film	has	an	atypical	period	look	,	as	well	.	absent	are	the	sumptuous	tableware	and	antique	furnishings	that	stand	in	for	plot	and	character	in	those	drippy	merchant	ivory	productions	.	the	sets	are	almost	expressionistically	bare	,	echoing	the	loneliness	of	the	protagonists	.	(	cinematographer	remi	adafarasin	often	allows	space	to	engulf	them	;	i'm	reminded	the	climax	,	which	unfolds	in	a	sea	of	white	.	)	martha	fiennes	has	a	clear	command	of	cinema	,	and	her	spare	,	often	painfully	human	visual	presentation	of	"	yevgeny	onegin	"	is	arguably	the	most	lucid	translation	of	pushkin's	difficult	text	yet	.	ms	.	fiennes	may	be	the	most	exciting	female	presence	behind	a	camera	since	jane	campion	.
pos	"	it's	not	good	to	know	too	much	about	someone	,	charlie	,	"	charles	warns	his	niece	,	charlie	(	margaret	welsh	)	,	with	a	devilish	grin	.	charlie	is	infatuated	with	her	namesake	uncle	,	her	"	soul	mate	"	as	she	calls	him	since	her	mother	gave	her	his	name	.	there's	a	lot	to	know	about	charles	,	not	the	least	of	which	is	that	he	strangled	3	widows	back	east	.	mark	harmon	,	who	looks	like	anything	but	a	killer	but	specializes	in	playing	them	,	plays	charles	,	the	merry	widow	murderer	in	the	1991	hallmark	hall	of	fame	remake	of	the	1943	hitchcock	film	,	shadow	of	a	doubt	.	and	to	avoid	any	questions	about	his	guilt	,	we	see	charles	in	action	in	the	opening	scene	with	his	last	victim	.	the	story	takes	place	in	the	early	1950s	in	the	small	town	of	petaluma	,	california	,	where	charles	heads	to	avoid	the	police	.	john	gay's	script	uses	most	of	the	original	screenplay	by	sally	benson	,	alma	reville	,	and	thornton	wilder	.	karen	arthur's	direction	is	certainly	no	match	for	the	great	master	,	but	on	an	absolute	scale	,	the	movie	maintains	a	high	level	of	suspense	.	when	supercilious	and	deceitful	charles	comes	to	pay	a	visit	of	indeterminate	length	with	his	sister	and	her	family	in	petaluma	,	they	don't	know	about	his	nefarious	activities	.	he	showers	them	with	elaborate	gifts	to	buy	the	love	they	had	already	given	him	anyway	.	two	mysterious	and	exceedingly	clean	cut	writers	for	a	magazine	show	up	to	take	pictures	of	the	family	for	a	spread	on	the	"	average	american	family	,	"	but	their	interest	is	focused	on	uncle	charles	,	especially	on	taking	his	picture	and	learning	about	his	background	.	charlie	,	who	first	welcomed	her	uncle's	visit	,	begins	to	feel	more	and	more	uncomfortable	with	him	and	suspicious	of	the	disingenuous	magazine	reporters	.	the	picture	advances	with	a	delicate	power	using	small	details	such	as	the	newspaper	article	that	the	uncle	tries	secretly	to	remove	and	that	charlie	discovers	.	the	beauty	of	the	story	is	the	pas	de	deux	between	uncle	and	niece	as	they	try	to	out	psych	each	other	.	she	wants	him	to	leave	,	and	he	doesn't	want	to	go	,	what	with	a	local	,	rich	widow	as	a	prospective	victim	.	will	charles	kill	charlie	first	,	or	will	she	get	him	out	of	town	.	harmon	is	wonderfully	creepy	and	smug	,	and	welsh	is	tough	but	trapped	.	with	a	deft	touch	the	director	sets	up	each	scene	,	several	with	thunderstorms	,	and	tom	neuwirth's	sepia	toned	cinematography	makes	the	movie	feel	as	if	it	were	filmed	in	the	50s	.	my	only	quibble	is	the	director's	awkward	staging	of	the	final	scene	on	the	train	.	is	hitchcock's	version	better	?	of	course	.	is	this	one	worth	watching	as	well	?	actually	,	yes	.	shadow	of	a	doubt	runs	1	:	40	.	it	is	not	rated	but	would	be	pg	for	adult	themes	and	would	be	fine	for	kids	around	nine	and	up	.
pos	warning	:	contains	what	the	matrix	is	.	starring	:	keanu	reeves	,	laurence	fishburne	,	joe	pantelianosome	may	be	disappointed	with	the	matrix	.	i'll	tell	you	i	was	.	i	sat	there	and	sat	there	and	sat	there	waiting	for	something	to	happen	.	now	wait	wait	,	i	know	most	of	you	loved	it	,	and	i'm	not	saying	i	didn't	like	it	.	what	i'm	saying	is	the	first	half	was	extremely	slow	.	now	seeing	the	trailer	it	makes	you	think	the	whole	entire	movie	is	one	big	special	effects	show	.	don't	be	fooled	,	this	movie	has	a	big	story	.	and	big	chunks	of	talky	moments	.	but	i	will	admit	the	special	effects	and	the	acting	were	above	par	,	deserving	the	rating	above	.	ok	now	to	the	story	.	well	this	may	take	a	while	.	ok	first	of	all	,	our	world	we	live	in	now	,	is	not	the	real	world	,	actually	we	live	inside	a	computer	generated	world	known	as	the	matrix	.	a	man	played	by	keanu	reeves	is	about	to	find	that	out	,	when	is	kidnapped	and	almost	coaxed	to	go	into	the	real	world	.	he	does	so	,	and	finds	out	that	he	can	do	anything	,	be	anything	he	wants	to	be	.	but	he	has	to	fight	a	'matrix	skipping'	bad	guy	,	who	wants	to	send	him	back	to	his	own	world	or	destroy	him	.	laurence	fishburne	,	his	guide	of	sorts	plays	his	character	well	as	does	keanu	reeves	.	but	i	sat	in	the	theatre	for	over	and	hour	wondering	where	all	the	special	effects	were	.	yeah	there	were	some	in	the	first	half	but	not	enough	.	the	trailer	for	this	movie	was	really	decieving	making	people	think	that	this	was	a	special	effects	laden	movie	.	now	for	the	second	half	,	it	is	explosive	,	and	saves	the	movie	.	some	of	the	special	effects	and	fighting	were	breathtaking	.	the	sound	,	the	music	,	and	all	the	effects	were	effective	,	and	the	last	hour	kept	us	entertained	.	but	with	a	running	time	of	2	hours	and	20	minutes	,	this	movie	is	at	least	40	minutes	too	long	.	one	would	have	wished	for	a	better	'matrix'	,	but	i	do	have	to	say	,	i	did	like	it	and	i	was	entertained	.	reviewed	april	5	,	1999	by	brandon	herring	.	brandon	herring	movie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	species	ii	(	1998	)	rated	r	for	strong	sexuality	,	sci	fi	violence	gore	and	language	.	out	of	4	stars	:	1	2	(	3	1	2	stars	)	starring	:	michael	madsen	,	marg	helgenberger	,	natasha	henstridge	,	justin	lazard	,	james	cromwell	,	george	dzundza	,	mykelti	williamson	.	here	is	a	film	that	is	so	unexpected	,	so	scary	,	and	so	original	that	it	caught	me	off	guard	and	threw	me	for	a	loop	.	okay	,	it	isn't	quite	original	,	considering	it	is	a	sequel	to	the	box	office	hit	species	,	but	it	certainly	is	smart	.	most	films	of	this	genre	are	reminiscent	of	those	cheesy	b	horror	films	from	the	50s	and	60s	,	and	some	even	become	them	.	however	,	as	we	learned	with	the	1995	small	budget	horror	sci	fi	film	,	sometimes	expectations	can	be	shattered	.	a	lot	of	criticism	has	gone	against	this	film	(	from	what	i	have	read	so	far	,	anyway	yep	,	all	two	reviews	)	,	and	it	makes	me	wonder	why	these	types	of	films	are	automatically	dismissed	as	gory	,	laughable	pieces	of	trash	.	but	,	the	thing	is	,	it	isn't	.	it's	well	made	,	well	acted	,	and	quite	intelligent	.	i	can	see	most	of	the	critics	now	complaining	about	the	level	of	gore	or	the	level	of	sexuality	in	the	film	.	but	the	species	series	isn't	about	the	lack	of	these	elements	.	it's	about	how	much	it	can	get	into	one	film	.	and	yet	,	behind	it	all	,	it	has	this	basic	premise	that	allows	it	to	get	away	with	doing	so	.	species	ii	begins	in	the	present	day	,	though	it	seems	to	be	an	alternate	universe	.	many	films	(	especially	sci	fi	ones	)	create	similar	timelines	as	our	realistic	one	,	but	change	it	to	fit	the	film's	needs	.	species	ii	begins	with	the	arrival	of	an	american	spacecraft	,	the	excursion	,	landing	on	the	surface	of	mars	.	aboard	is	patrick	ross	(	justin	lazard	)	,	a	very	bright	and	very	handsome	astronaut	.	patrick	is	the	son	of	senator	ross	(	james	cromwell	)	,	who	just	wants	patrick	to	succeed	.	well	,	it	would	seem	that	he	has	succeeded	.	landing	on	the	surface	of	mars	,	he	is	the	first	human	being	to	ever	do	so	.	of	course	,	he	isn't	the	first	ever	.	about	a	billion	years	ago	,	an	alien	species	supposedly	landed	on	mars	and	destroyed	the	perfect	living	conditions	that	were	able	to	sustain	life	.	now	,	of	course	,	the	red	planet	is	cold	and	rocky	.	no	life	lives	on	it	.	that	is	,	no	visible	life	.	patrick	,	upon	leaving	the	spacecraft	and	landing	on	the	red	soil	,	collects	samples	from	the	ground	.	he	takes	them	aboard	,	and	puts	them	in	storage	.	unfortunately	,	one	of	the	samples	contains	a	form	of	life	,	and	it	gets	loose	when	it	is	heated	aboard	the	ship	.	just	prior	to	heading	back	to	earth	,	this	life	form	creeps	along	the	floor	and	inhabits	the	earthlings	.	they	pass	out	for	approximately	seven	minutes	,	and	then	shrug	it	off	as	nothing	,	because	they	can't	even	remember	.	they	blame	it	on	a	technical	malfunction	.	back	on	earth	,	patrick	begins	to	have	strong	urges	to	mate	with	as	many	women	as	possible	.	as	we	know	from	the	original	,	this	is	because	the	alien	wants	to	breed	and	take	over	the	planet	.	however	,	the	children	that	are	bred	are	half	human	,	as	their	father	is	.	patrick	is	really	looking	for	another	alien	to	breed	with	,	and	he	finds	it	in	eve	(	natasha	henstridge	)	.	eve	was	cloned	from	dna	taken	from	sil	,	the	original	alien	.	however	,	this	time	around	,	most	of	her	"	alien	"	urges	have	been	either	decreased	dramatically	,	or	lie	dormant	.	the	project	is	led	by	dr	.	laura	baker	(	marg	helgenberger	,	reprising	her	role	from	species	)	,	and	her	motives	seem	respectable	.	since	she	was	involved	with	the	original	alien	attack	,	she	wants	to	learn	how	to	stop	the	alien	should	it	come	again	.	and	it	has	.	story	wise	,	species	ii	is	much	stronger	than	its	predecessor	,	but	it	is	also	much	stronger	than	,	say	,	aliens	(	hey	,	i	love	the	film	,	but	you	can't	tell	me	it	was	strong	on	story	)	.	what	surprised	me	the	most	with	this	film	was	the	incorporation	of	historical	facts	into	the	screenplay	.	in	my	search	for	extraterrestrial	intelligence	course	in	college	,	we	learned	about	a	piece	of	rock	from	mars	which	landed	in	one	of	the	poles	.	this	piece	of	rock	contained	fossils	which	may	have	been	proof	of	life	on	mars	(	later	,	it	was	proven	that	it	was	not	a	living	creature	that	created	it	)	.	the	script	uses	this	effectively	,	but	also	manages	to	provide	a	well	balanced	plot	.	beginning	with	the	first	man	on	mars	(	something	i	have	always	dreamed	of	seeing	)	,	i	was	hoping	that	the	film	would	turn	this	element	into	a	useful	starting	point	for	the	movie	.	and	it	does	it	quite	well	.	the	characters	are	all	smart	,	and	they	know	what	to	do	and	what	not	to	do	.	the	only	character	that	seems	a	little	cliched	is	the	general	(	george	dzundza	)	,	and	yet	,	he	remains	logical	in	everything	he	does	.	there	are	the	obvious	flaws	of	course	,	mostly	lying	in	the	technical	aspects	.	the	special	effects	are	only	mediocre	,	and	some	are	just	plain	bad	.	but	for	the	most	part	,	they	remain	believable	(	i	even	noticed	a	homage	to	the	alien	series	when	the	mothers	gave	birth	to	alien	children	)	.	also	,	the	most	realistic	ones	are	usually	the	goriest	,	ranging	from	people	being	torn	open	,	or	someone's	head	being	blown	off	.	however	,	some	plot	elements	also	may	elicit	laughs	from	the	audience	,	including	a	menage	a	troi	that	is	all	but	necessary	.	many	people	dislike	the	species	series	because	all	it	is	is	an	excuse	for	sex	,	nudity	,	and	gory	violence	.	however	,	i	tend	to	disagree	.	what	were	the	alien	films	about	?	and	,	if	an	alien	species	ever	did	come	to	earth	,	and	their	sole	purpose	was	to	destroy	us	,	wouldn't	you	mate	as	quickly	as	possible	with	as	many	people	as	possible	?	my	only	gripe	with	this	is	during	the	scene	where	patrick	goes	searching	for	a	mate	in	a	grocery	store	.	i	didn't	realize	that	aliens	were	that	picky	on	choosing	women	to	mate	with	(	i	just	assume	it	is	his	part	human	side	looking	for	the	most	beautiful	one	)	.	the	acting	is	quite	good	for	this	kind	of	film	.	it	is	a	vast	improvement	over	the	first	film	,	at	least	.	the	acting	is	the	key	element	to	this	film	:	if	it	was	bad	,	it	would	have	lowered	itself	into	camp	;	if	it	was	good	,	it	would	have	asked	for	comparison	with	films	like	aliens	.	okay	,	so	it	isn't	that	good	.	george	dzundza	is	probably	the	most	obvious	mistake	on	casting	,	as	his	over	the	top	impersonation	of	a	general	makes	him	annoying	and	distracting	.	natasha	henstridge	is	limited	this	time	around	,	as	she	is	usually	enclosed	in	a	cage	.	however	,	she	does	manage	a	very	impressive	performance	with	this	aspect	hindering	any	of	her	talent	.	oh	yeah	,	and	she's	quite	fun	to	just	plain	watch	.	marg	helgenberger	is	immensely	better	this	time	around	,	and	her	performance	is	probably	the	best	in	this	film	.	michael	madsen	is	so	so	,	but	he	isn't	annoying	,	and	he	soon	becomes	rather	appealing	(	with	his	nice	cynic	personality	)	.	james	cromwell	has	a	small	part	,	but	he	makes	it	much	better	than	what	it	could	have	been	with	a	more	incapable	actor	.	as	i	say	,	any	film	with	james	cromwell	dramatically	increases	in	likeability	.	mykelti	williamson	gives	an	enjoyable	performance	,	and	he	gives	the	film	a	more	down	to	earth	feel	.	and	,	of	course	,	justin	lazard	.	lazard	has	so	far	been	ridiculed	for	his	performance	,	but	i	think	he	is	effective	.	sure	,	he	is	wooden	,	but	isn't	that	what	his	character	is	like	?	the	moment	when	he	touches	the	glass	separating	henstridge	from	him	was	extremely	well	done	,	due	to	the	couple's	acting	.	species	ii	is	rated	r	for	strong	sexuality	,	sci	fi	violence	gore	and	language	.	this	is	definitely	an	r	rated	film	that	young	kids	should	not	see	.	more	than	likely	,	they	would	probably	have	nightmares	and	never	have	sex	for	the	rest	of	their	lives	.	hell	,	i	don't	even	know	if	i	will	.	what	is	sure	to	be	a	critically	lambasted	film	turns	out	to	be	the	surprise	film	of	the	year	.	i	probably	won't	see	another	film	where	i	was	expecting	so	little	and	got	so	much	for	quite	a	while	.	director	peter	medak	has	crafted	a	very	suspenseful	,	and	sometimes	very	scary	movie	out	of	a	mediocre	series	.	medak	has	also	mastered	the	wonderful	"	jump	!	"	moments	,	and	has	probably	the	second	scariest	moment	i	have	ever	seen	on	film	(	scream	still	has	the	first	)	.	strong	acting	,	smart	dialogue	,	intelligent	plotting	,	and	a	sure	handed	director	,	species	ii	is	exactly	what	these	films	should	be	:	entertaining	.	reviewed	by	respect	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	respect	aros	.	net	"	respect	aros	.	net	a	)	a	href	"	http	:	venus	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	"	http	:	venus	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	a
pos	up	until	about	a	year	ago	,	john	travolta's	career	consisted	of	those	"	look	who's	talking	"	movies	(	notice	how	they	never	called	them	look	who's	talented	)	and	the	1991	bomb	shout	(	which	was	bad	enough	to	make	most	people	scream	)	.	but	somewhere	along	the	line	,	travolta	got	the	starring	role	in	the	tarantino	masterpiece	pulp	fiction	and	his	career	soared	once	again	.	weird	how	someone	whose	career	was	on	par	with	the	bee	gees	back	in	1978	would	experience	fame	and	fortune	once	again	,	while	barry	,	robin	and	maurice	gibb	could	do	no	better	than	a	1993	straight	to	the	cutout	bin	album	aptly	named	"	size	isn't	everything	"	(	and	of	course	,	they	learned	that	sales	are	everything	)	.	but	now	travolta's	back	on	the	hollywood	scene	once	again	,	and	i	think	we	all	know	why	.	four	words	:	contract	with	the	devil	.	and	this	has	nothing	to	do	with	newt	gingrich's	"	contract	with	america	.	"	no	,	satan	is	much	more	humane	.	anyway	,	yes	,	travolta	has	sold	his	soul	to	the	hairy	host	of	the	netherworld	.	how	do	i	know	?	i	own	the	document	in	question	.	amazing	what	you	can	buy	at	those	collector's	shops	for	a	few	hundred	dollars	,	isn't	it	?	get	shorty	continues	in	the	vein	of	pulp	fiction	,	with	travolta	as	crime	minion	chili	palmer	.	he	goes	to	collect	some	of	the	mafia's	money	from	a	b	grade	director	(	gene	hackman	)	and	suddenly	finds	out	he	wants	out	of	the	mob	game	and	into	the	movie	game	.	sure	,	a	ruthless	criminal	like	him	is	far	too	honest	to	make	it	in	hollywood	,	but	i	guess	that's	beside	the	point	.	palmer	is	determined	to	get	hackman's	next	project	made	,	so	he	sets	out	to	convince	big	star	martin	weir	(	danny	devito	)	to	star	in	the	movie	,	bringing	along	down	and	out	horror	actress	karen	flores	(	rene	russo	)	,	who	has	already	had	affairs	with	hackman	and	devito	.	it	doesn't	take	a	las	vegas	odds	maker	to	predict	that	she	and	travolta	will	soon	be	hitting	the	sheets	as	well	,	after	the	customary	sexual	tension	and	denial	,	which	has	been	used	in	every	comedy	from	"	who's	the	boss	?	"	to	speechless	.	it	works	in	this	case	,	unlike	"	who's	the	boss	?	"	although	it's	interesting	to	note	that	tony	danza	has	signed	a	contract	with	the	devil	also	.	complicating	matters	somewhat	are	the	mobsters	who	have	backed	hackman's	other	films	and	want	in	on	this	one	too	,	along	with	travolta's	mob	boss	trying	to	track	him	down	for	defecting	.	get	shorty	is	by	no	means	on	the	same	level	as	pulp	fiction	,	despite	the	obvious	similarities	.	this	movie	doesn't	have	near	the	amount	of	originality	or	depth	as	pulp	fiction	but	it	is	definitely	one	of	the	most	entertaining	movies	i've	seen	this	year	(	yes	,	even	better	than	halloween	vi	)	.	get	shorty	is	my	kind	of	movie	,	one	that	mixes	intelligent	humor	with	action	and	violence	.	i'm	definitely	going	to	have	to	check	out	the	novel	it	was	based	on	.	are	you	getting	this	,	shorty	?
pos	the	horse	whisperer	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	,	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	(	now	with	trivia	;	film	,	dvd	,	ld	reviews	;	a	section	where	you	can	recommend	movies	;	fabric	softener	;	and	much	more	!	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	a	new	address	.	new	attitude	.	same	crappy	writing	.	)	after	indecent	proposal	and	up	close	and	personal	,	redford	was	wise	to	direct	himself	in	a	picture	at	last	.	redford	may	look	great	on	screen	,	but	over	the	past	few	years	,	he's	proven	himself	a	bigger	talent	behind	the	camera	.	ordinary	people	is	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	nineteen	eighties	,	and	it	was	the	first	picture	he	helmed	.	while	the	milagro	beanfield	war	was	only	occasionally	successful	at	combining	magic	realism	with	.	.	.	um	,	realism	,	and	i've	never	been	much	of	a	fan	of	a	river	runs	through	it	(	to	the	chagrin	of	many	)	,	quiz	show	was	dazzling	,	energetic	and	convincing	.	the	horse	whisperer	represents	both	his	directorial	return	to	nature	films	and	the	first	time	in	that	sub	genre	redford	seems	equally	concerned	with	humans	and	scenery	.	scott	thomas	plays	annie	maclean	,	an	uptight	but	respected	new	york	magazine	editor	whose	daughter	grace	(	johanssen	)	loses	a	leg	and	a	good	friend	when	an	early	morning	ride	climaxes	with	their	horses	colliding	with	a	semi	.	grace's	horse	survived	,	but	barely	,	and	has	gone	mad	.	annie	refuses	to	put	the	animal	out	of	his	misery	,	believing	that	if	the	horse	heals	it	will	mend	grace's	newly	broken	spirit	.	eventually	,	mother	and	daughter	travel	alone	to	montana	to	be	with	tom	booker	(	redford	)	,	a	famed	"	horse	whisperer	"	who	has	a	gift	of	calming	horses	with	simple	looks	and	touches	,	leaving	busy	husband	neill	behind	.	eventually	,	they	move	onto	the	booker	ranch	with	the	rest	of	tom's	family	,	and	annie	finds	herself	falling	in	love	with	all	things	montana	,	including	,	naturally	,	tom	,	the	wise	and	lonely	trainer	.	the	horse	whisperer	is	delicately	made	.	i	dare	say	lyrical	,	since	to	many	people's	ear	,	that	word	is	synonymous	with	boring	.	hardly	.	the	horse	whisperer	has	little	to	offer	in	the	way	of	surprise	,	but	it	does	have	an	honesty	that	is	refreshing	and	consistently	enjoyable	to	watch	,	especially	in	the	final	third	of	the	story	.	scott	thomas	and	johanssen	seem	like	mother	and	daughter	,	and	you	have	no	doubt	believing	that	the	mountain	vistas	would	put	these	new	yorkers	under	a	spell	,	especially	since	d	.	p	.	robert	richardson's	photography	casts	montana	as	heaven	on	earth	.	(	a	gimmicky	but	effective	technique	the	filmmakers	employ	is	a	switch	in	aspect	ratio	from	squarish	to	widescreen	when	the	central	location	shifts	from	new	york	to	montana	.	)	the	underrated	sam	neill	turns	in	perhaps	his	most	heartfelt	,	emotive	performance	as	the	nice	guy	husband	,	who	is	as	authoritive	and	likeable	as	tom	.	he	is	indeed	a	refreshing	change	from	the	sexist	,	lout	of	a	husband	so	many	writers	resort	to	as	a	short	cut	for	explaining	away	the	cheating	spouse's	motivation	.	unfortunately	,	one	of	the	horse	whisperer's	only	flaws	is	the	chemistry	between	would	be	lovers	scott	thomas	and	redford	.	i	liked	both	of	them	,	but	i	didn't	necessarily	believe	that	redford	would	fall	for	such	a	cold	fish	,	even	if	the	countryside	air	thawed	her	slightly	.	luckily	(	and	curiously	)	,	this	is	such	a	rich	and	textured	movie	that	it	doesn't	quite	matter	their	adultery	seems	like	an	afterthought	,	the	obligatory	sub	plot	that	ties	many	of	the	characters'	complex	relationships	together	.
pos	starring	don	mckellar	,	callum	keith	rennie	,	sandra	oh	"	last	night	"	could	have	an	"	aka	"	tagged	on	the	end	of	it	that	says	,	"	it's	the	end	of	the	world	,	and	we	feel	fine	"	.	"	last	night	"	is	about	just	that	.	the	last	night	of	planet	earth's	existence	.	the	world	is	going	to	end	at	precisely	midnight	,	january	1st	,	2000	.	how	scientists	were	so	accurately	able	to	predict	when	this	catastrophic	event	would	occur	is	never	explained	.	nor	is	the	event	itself	.	throughout	the	entire	movie	,	no	explanation	is	given	as	to	why	this	is	happening	.	in	doing	this	,	mckellar	(	who	also	wrote	and	directed	the	film	)	seems	to	be	trying	to	transcend	the	genre	.	he's	attempted	to	make	a	film	about	people	,	and	how	each	of	them	deals	with	their	last	night	of	life	.	the	film	contains	no	science	fiction	elements	,	which	allows	the	viewer	to	concentrate	on	the	feelings	and	actions	of	the	characters	.	mckellar	is	largely	successful	in	his	attempt	to	rise	above	his	material	.	the	film	is	set	in	toronto	,	and	follows	several	people	in	their	various	escapades	on	the	last	night	of	existence	.	there's	mckellar	,	who	plays	a	man	who	just	wants	to	be	alone	when	the	moment	occurs	,	but	keeps	getting	interrupted	by	a	woman	(	sandra	oh	)	in	search	of	her	husband	.	her	husband	,	played	by	david	cronenberg	,	is	spending	the	day	working	at	the	gas	company	,	informing	people	that	they	will	attempt	to	keep	providing	gas	right	up	until	the	end	.	finally	,	there's	mckellar's	friend	,	played	by	callum	keith	rennie	,	a	man	who	has	spent	his	final	months	trying	out	every	sexual	perversion	you	can	think	of	.	mckellar	has	crafted	a	gang	of	the	some	of	the	most	interesting	characters	i've	seen	in	a	film	in	months	.	these	people	all	felt	real	to	me	,	especially	the	character	played	by	sandra	oh	.	we	can	see	her	desperation	,	her	utter	need	to	be	with	her	husband	in	the	final	hours	.	rennie	is	good	,	too	,	as	the	man	who	wants	to	literally	try	everything	before	he	dies	.	he	exudes	such	charm	and	likeablity	,	it's	not	surprising	that	we're	rooting	for	him	to	get	what	he	wants	.	but	for	me	,	the	biggest	surprise	in	the	movie	is	mckellar	.	i	knew	that	he	was	a	talented	director	,	but	i	had	no	idea	he	could	act	as	well	.	his	insistence	to	be	alone	,	much	to	the	dismay	of	his	parents	,	is	something	that	most	people	would	find	difficult	to	understand	,	but	as	played	by	mckellar	,	we	can	understand	his	reasons	.	he	doesn't	buy	into	the	whole	notion	that	just	because	everyone's	going	to	die	,	he	should	immediately	find	some	companionship	.	he	realizes	the	relationship	would	be	forced	,	and	they	would	only	be	together	for	the	sake	of	being	together	.	mckellar	gives	a	brilliant	performance	,	and	i	hope	he	alternates	between	directing	and	acting	.	my	only	quibble	with	the	film	is	that	we	never	find	out	why	the	world	is	ending	.	i	really	wanted	to	know	,	and	my	need	to	know	was	hanging	over	the	film	at	all	times	.	i	appreciate	the	fact	that	mckellar	didn't	want	the	material	to	rule	the	film	,	and	that	he	wanted	the	movie	to	be	more	of	a	study	in	human	behavious	.	however	,	in	not	telling	the	audience	what	the	cause	of	earth's	destruction	is	,	he's	left	a	big	question	that	is	in	their	minds	throughout	the	film	.	another	problem	is	we	never	see	anybody	panicking	.	i	would	imagine	if	the	world	was	ending	,	and	there	was	nothing	to	be	done	about	it	,	a	large	segment	of	the	population	would	be	going	out	of	their	minds	.	instead	,	we	are	treated	to	shots	of	a	giant	crowd	partying	like	it's	new	year's	eve	.	i	just	didn't	buy	the	fact	that	everyone	had	completely	accepted	their	fate	.	no	one	had	the	urge	to	"	rage	against	the	dying	of	the	light	"	.	despite	these	small	problems	,	"	last	night	"	is	one	of	the	best	movies	of	the	year	.	as	opposed	to	the	moronic	"	armageddon	"	,	"	last	night	"	treats	the	subject	at	hand	with	maturity	and	believabilty	.	and	bruce	willis	never	shows	up	to	save	the	day	.
pos	it	bears	repeating	:	just	because	you	happen	to	make	an	amazing	,	perfectly	crafted	,	wildly	funny	movie	(	fargo	)	,	doesn't	mean	you	can	do	whatever	the	hell	you	want	in	your	follow	up	and	pass	it	off	as	art	.	the	big	lebowski	is	the	definitive	answer	to	skeptics	like	me	who	wondered	if	fargo	was	the	fluke	,	and	ho	hum	flicks	like	the	hudsucker	proxy	and	raising	arizona	were	more	the	norm	for	the	coen	brothers	.	they	undoubtedly	are	.	in	the	big	lebowski	,	the	coens	had	the	world	to	play	with	as	a	palette	.	what	they	delivered	is	a	wreck	.	the	story	,	what	little	there	is	of	one	,	follows	jeff	"	the	dude	"	lebowski	(	bridges	)	,	a	bum	amateur	bowler	who	gets	caught	up	in	a	kidnapping	gone	wrong	scheme	involving	a	millionaire	who	happens	to	have	the	same	name	.	promising	premise	(	even	if	it	sounds	familiar	.	.	.	)	,	but	the	story	is	totally	blown	on	one	dimensional	goofball	characters	,	blind	side	plots	that	go	nowhere	,	and	a	meandering	plotline	that	barely	keeps	you	awake	.	sure	,	with	characters	like	goodman's	vietnam	vet	wacked	out	bowling	buddy	,	moore's	new	age	"	vaginal	"	artist	,	and	,	most	memorably	,	john	turturro's	minuscule	role	as	jesus	,	the	most	flamboyant	bowler	alive	,	there	is	plenty	to	be	amused	by	in	the	film	,	and	sometimes	it's	absolutely	riotous	.	but	the	laughs	are	hollow	.	.	.	because	the	story	just	sits	there	like	a	7	10	split	.
pos	director	:	nancy	meyers	writers	:	nancy	meyers	and	charles	shyer	(	based	on	the	1961	script	by	david	swift	and	the	book	"	das	doppelite	lottchen	"	by	erich	kastner	)	starring	:	lindsay	lohan	,	dennis	quaid	,	natasha	richardson	,	elaine	hendrix	,	lisa	ann	walter	,	simon	kunz	,	polly	holliday	,	maggie	wheeler	,	ronnie	stevens	,	joanna	barnes	i	actually	am	a	fan	of	the	original	1961	or	so	live	action	disney	flick	of	the	same	name	starring	hayley	mills	twice	as	a	pair	of	twins	,	separated	at	birth	by	divorcing	parents	,	never	to	come	in	contact	with	the	other	so	the	parents	never	have	to	meet	again	.	and	everyone	should	know	how	i	feel	about	remakes	,	especially	of	films	i	happen	to	enjoy	(	my	fallacy	:	unless	you're	going	to	either	capture	the	same	exact	spirit	of	the	original	or	do	something	different	with	it	or	maybe	even	both	,	just	wrack	your	brain	and	come	up	with	a	gasp	new	idea	)	.	this	remake	was	not	originally	on	the	top	of	my	viewing	list	,	and	was	actually	quite	the	opposite	.	contemporary	live	action	disney	films	are	not	one	of	my	favorties	,	anyway	:	they're	usually	unfunny	,	alienating	,	and	a	big	fat	bore	,	at	least	to	anyone	over	the	age	of	11	and	above	the	iq	of	10	.	this	one	,	however	,	is	shockingly	not	bad	.	in	fact	,	it's	actually	good	.	not	the	original	good	,	but	what's	great	about	it	is	that	it	doesn't	necessarily	retread	the	original	or	capture	the	same	exact	spirit	as	it	does	become	entertaining	for	the	same	exact	reasons	the	original	was	entertaining	.	because	it's	cute	and	innocent	fun	.	because	it	has	a	pretty	killer	plot	that	is	endlessly	fun	to	follow	along	with	.	because	the	lead	star	is	immensely	appealing	.	because	the	parents	are	also	immensely	appealing	.	and	(	i'm	repeating	myself	)	because	it's	cute	and	innocent	fun	.	there's	nothing	too	risque	about	it	,	save	the	plot	(	the	idea	of	separating	twins	and	denying	them	the	truth	for	years	is	ominously	selfish	,	but	that	is	precisely	the	point	of	the	movie	)	,	and	it's	aimed	directly	at	either	kids	,	adults	who	want	to	remember	the	original	,	or	young	adults	who	want	to	remember	what	it	was	like	to	be	a	kid	.	i	,	personally	,	am	somewhere	between	the	second	and	third	.	i	can	vividly	remember	when	my	taste	in	movies	wasn't	so	weird	or	diverse	(	the	names	godard	and	kubrick	weren't	even	a	glimmer	in	my	right	eye	back	then	)	,	when	i	would	tune	in	every	sunday	night	for	a	couple	years	to	see	abc's	"	wonderful	world	of	disney	,	"	where	they'd	show	you	a	live	action	and	or	made	for	tv	disney	flick	an	hour	per	week	.	i	can	remember	my	mom	taking	my	sister	and	i	along	with	all	my	friends	and	their	mothers	to	see	all	the	rereleased	disney	films	(	like	"	lady	and	the	tramp	"	and	"	pinnochio	"	)	.	and	,	most	sadly	,	i	remember	every	single	christmas	,	without	fail	,	there	were	a	barage	of	children's	animated	half	hour	shows	,	made	exclusively	for	the	christmas	season	,	that	i	wouldn't	dare	missing	.	i	can	even	remember	seeing	the	made	for	tv	"	parent	trap	ii	"	on	tv	one	night	,	and	after	i	had	seen	that	one	over	and	over	and	over	again	,	i	saw	the	original	"	parent	trap	.	"	it's	more	of	a	late	childhood	movie	,	because	it	deals	with	the	issue	of	divorce	,	but	it	deals	with	it	in	a	disney	ized	version	.	it's	playful	,	and	witty	,	and	charming	,	and	if	i	saw	it	for	the	first	time	right	now	,	having	never	experienced	that	part	of	my	childhood	,	i'd	probably	dismiss	it	.	i'd	probably	do	the	same	for	the	new	version	of	the	same	movie	if	i	hadn't	seen	the	original	at	such	a	perfect	age	.	watching	it	,	i	could	remember	what	fun	it	was	to	watch	a	disney	film	,	and	how	divorce	for	me	started	to	get	me	thinking	about	the	possibilities	of	my	seemingly	perfect	parents	splitting	up	,	and	how	it	affected	my	adolescence	.	and	also	how	it	brushed	that	fear	off	with	a	smooth	stroke	,	and	pointed	out	that	even	in	the	most	fucked	up	of	situations	,	things	could	always	work	out	if	you	,	well	,	manipulate	things	a	bit	,	at	least	for	the	better	.	this	new	version	did	that	for	me	,	but	it's	also	charming	in	its	own	way	.	it	has	a	new	cast	,	a	contemporary	feel	,	and	,	for	the	first	time	in	awhile	for	a	live	action	disney	flick	,	a	tone	that	isn't	corny	or	condescending	,	but	just	right	.	the	moments	that	would	otherwise	seem	corny	are	actually	affecting	in	a	safe	kind	of	way	.	and	for	the	first	time	since	the	original	film	,	the	kids	actually	know	better	than	the	foolish	adults	.	the	story	is	basically	classic	by	now	,	repeated	almost	as	many	times	as	kurosawa's	"	the	seven	samurai	"	:	a	pair	of	twins	(	played	here	by	lindsay	lohan	,	just	like	they	were	played	by	hayley	mills	in	the	original	)	are	separated	at	birth	by	their	divorcing	parents	.	one	,	annie	,	is	sent	to	live	with	the	mother	(	natasha	richardson	,	resembling	her	mother	,	vanessa	redgrave	,	more	than	i	had	ever	noticed	)	in	london	,	where	she	lives	with	her	parents	and	her	devoted	,	foppish	butler	(	simon	kunz	)	,	as	she	works	as	a	swingin'	fashion	designer	.	she	grows	up	refined	and	classy	,	but	also	with	a	keen	knowledge	in	sports	and	poker	playing	.	the	other	,	hallie	,	is	sent	to	northern	california	with	her	father	(	dennis	quaid	)	to	live	on	a	vineyard	with	their	pseudo	maid	(	lisa	ann	walter	)	,	and	grows	up	rugged	yet	charming	.	they	both	meet	at	the	same	camp	,	one	that	annie	wants	to	go	to	to	become	more	rugged	.	they	feud	because	they	look	all	too	similar	,	and	are	thus	in	tight	competition	,	which	results	in	some	nasty	pranks	,	which	winds	them	in	seclusion	together	in	a	private	,	out	of	the	way	cabin	.	there	,	they	become	friends	,	then	learn	about	eachother	.	once	they	know	everything	,	they	concoct	a	scheme	to	switch	places	so	the	one	can	meet	the	other	parent	,	whom	they've	only	heard	of	.	they	learn	about	eachother's	lives	in	detail	,	they	make	sure	they	look	alike	(	which	requires	hair	cutting	and	,	notoriously	,	ear	piercing	a	scene	which	is	like	the	kiddie	version	of	the	hypodermic	needle	scene	in	"	pulp	fiction	"	)	,	and	when	the	end	of	summer	comes	,	they	switch	and	hope	for	the	best	.	lindsay	lohan	doesn't	necessarily	copy	the	acting	style	of	hayley	mills	in	the	original	.	but	she	comes	off	just	as	appealing	as	she	did	once	.	she	does	,	though	,	add	a	couple	new	things	:	she	makes	the	california	twin	a	little	more	appealing	and	the	london	twin	a	bit	more	frank	and	snobbish	than	the	snotty	and	proper	original	,	respectively	.	she	also	adds	on	an	american	and	british	accent	to	each	one	,	with	one	faking	the	other	accent	throughout	,	and	if	you	really	take	notice	,	you	can	see	that	the	fake	ones'	accents	aren't	exactly	perfect	.	she's	also	incredibly	appealing	,	not	merely	cute	,	which	is	especially	notable	since	this	is	her	first	feature	film	,	and	we	know	how	notorious	child	actors	are	,	especially	in	their	first	films	.	she	makes	a	great	protagonist	,	and	it	only	helps	that	the	supporting	cast	is	equally	appealing	.	dennis	quaid	,	in	fact	,	hasn't	been	this	likable	in	about	a	decade	his	big	dumb	smile	and	near	cocky	attitude	is	what	has	made	him	a	notable	actor	in	the	past	,	not	just	that	he's	mr	.	meg	ryan	.	ditto	natasha	richardson	(	except	that	she	just	hasn't	ever	been	this	likable	period	)	.	the	two	make	a	winning	couple	,	maybe	not	so	winning	as	maureen	o'hara	and	the	late	brian	keith	in	the	original	,	but	they	still	work	for	this	film	.	instead	of	the	bickering	that	ensued	in	the	original	,	the	film	adds	another	dimension	and	another	angle	to	their	characters	that	was	amiss	in	the	original	:	during	the	opening	credits	,	we	see	glimpses	from	their	courtship	on	the	qe2	,	where	they	fall	quickly	and	madly	in	love	with	eachother	,	and	when	back	together	again	,	the	film's	more	smarmy	scenes	come	off	as	actually	sentimental	,	but	in	that	great	way	,	not	the	migraine	inducing	way	as	in	many	such	films	.	this	all	brings	this	new	"	parent	trap	"	to	a	level	of	entertainment	that	hasn't	really	existed	since	,	well	,	the	original	film	years	ago	,	still	my	money	the	best	live	action	disney	flick	of	all	time	.	this	is	because	it	has	a	form	of	intelligence	and	wit	that	makes	such	plot	points	as	an	otherwise	standard	villainous	love	interest	subplot	(	a	gold	digging	sharon	stone	type	,	played	by	elaine	hendrix	,	who's	deliciously	tormented	by	the	twins	later	on	in	the	film	)	a	treat	instead	of	a	bore	.	like	the	original	,	this	film	transcends	all	the	crap	that	it	very	well	could	be	(	case	in	point	:	"	it	takes	two	"	starring	the	olsen	twins	)	because	it	treats	the	children	as	the	smart	ones	,	and	the	adults	as	the	silly	ones	,	not	the	other	way	around	.	and	because	,	above	everything	,	it	knows	exactly	how	to	be	charming	without	biting	off	more	than	it	can	chew	.	however	,	in	comparison	with	the	original	,	it	could	be	a	bit	better	.	certain	scenes	work	well	,	but	not	nearly	as	well	as	they	worked	in	the	original	.	i	liked	the	way	the	parents	fought	over	past	dilemnas	and	then	fought	over	falling	in	love	again	better	than	i	liked	watching	two	old	flames	getting	back	together	over	a	bottle	of	wine	somehow	,	feuding	is	always	more	cinematic	and	pleasing	than	mere	reminscing	,	a	lesson	extracted	from	the	howard	hawks	cary	grant	films	of	yesteryear	.	and	as	much	as	this	film	transcends	mere	cutedom	,	compared	to	the	original	,	this	film	almost	drowns	in	cutedom	.	the	original	,	though	not	gritty	,	was	far	more	stylized	and	just	as	suitable	for	adult	audiences	as	it	was	for	young	audiences	.	as	such	,	this	remake	may	never	be	nearly	as	great	or	classic	as	the	original	film	,	but	it	at	least	knows	how	to	treat	its	source	material	with	dignity	and	respect	,	and	how	to	create	virtually	the	same	effects	without	bordering	on	plagerism	or	petty	annoyances	.
pos	what	with	the	special	edition	out	on	video	(	i	snapped	up	my	copy	as	quickly	as	anyone	)	i	thought	i'd	make	some	comments	on	these	films	.	why	is	star	wars	as	charming	and	graceful	as	it	is	?	why	has	it	endured	as	well	as	it	has	?	with	the	exceptions	of	james	earl	jones	and	alec	guiness	,	the	acting	is	pretty	mediocre	.	let's	just	call	it	corny	.	(	why	,	oh	why	,	couldn't	lucas	use	computers	to	substitute	better	performers	in	the	lead	roles	?	)	we	never	really	feel	close	to	the	characters	.	why	is	it	my	candidate	for	the	finest	pure	entertainment	ever	commited	to	the	screen	?	(	it's	demeaning	to	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	,	jaws	and	the	empire	strikes	back	to	call	them	pure	entertainments	.	)	it's	not	a	perfect	film	,	but	it's	a	heck	of	a	good	one	.	many	of	my	friends	have	a	respect	bordering	on	a	religious	obsession	with	it	.	(	my	friend	adam	who	thinks	that	rotj	is	the	best	of	the	trilogy	and	tesb	is	the	worst	owns	paperback	continuations	of	the	movies	and	soundtracks	meant	to	be	played	along	as	you	read	.	)	the	film	certainly	has	a	place	in	my	heart	although	i'm	not	sure	i	love	it	as	much	as	they	.	watching	it	today	i	feel	manipulated	.	it	hold	up	over	numerous	viewings	and	yet	.	.	.	something	is	missing	.	to	many	remaking	star	wars	is	what	remaking	casablanca	(	they're	doing	it	!	)	and	the	godfather	is	to	me	:	sad	and	pointless	.	it	would	ruin	the	legend	of	the	movie	.	yet	.	.	.	i'll	say	it	against	my	better	judgment	(	and	it	will	anger	many	people	.	)	if	it's	done	do	it	with	a	new	script	.	have	steven	spielberg	direct	.	use	new	music	.	set	it	in	the	future	.	get	rid	of	the	first	line	(	along	time	ago	in	a	galaxy	far	far	away	.	.	.	)	.	cast	jack	nicholson	as	darth	vader	and	get	rid	of	the	clunky	outfit	.	wait	till	i	get	to	hollywood	!	bwa	,	ha	,	ha	,	ha	,	ha	,	ha	!	star	wars	is	still	terrific	fun	and	wonderfully	entertaining	.	it's	a	really	good	movie	with	a	great	one	inside	,	struggling	to	break	free	.	how	good	is	the	second	installment	,	tesb	?	in	a	word	:	magnificent	.	it's	a	glorious	film	from	start	to	finish	.	in	the	first	shot	it	tells	you	what	it's	going	to	do	and	then	it	does	it	.	a	stirring	comic	book	mix	of	great	acting	,	wonderful	music	,	mature	special	effects	,	and	dark	thoughts	,	as	directed	by	irvin	kershner	with	ravishing	gusto	the	psychological	tension	is	so	clear	.	and	did	i	mention	great	fun	?	it'll	sweep	you	off	your	feet	.	so	many	moments	,	so	many	sights	.	a	betrayal	,	a	friendship	,	a	great	movie	.	.	.	so	good	that	i	think	i	might	call	it	one	of	the	greatest	ever	made	.	the	special	edition	is	truly	special	.	i	could	see	it	once	a	week	without	growing	tired	of	it	.	sadly	this	cannot	be	said	of	rotj	,	the	mediocre	conclusion	to	the	trilogy	.	it's	not	bad	,	but	it	takes	a	suprising	(	and	disarming	)	turn	towards	mediocre	filmmaking	.	i've	always	felt	that	it	goes	down	too	easily	,	when	you	should	hesitate	before	accepting	the	conclusion	and	outcome	.	not	that	it's	bad	;	it's	just	not	very	meaningful	.	fans	of	the	film	will	argue	with	me	:	"	it's	not	even	meant	to	be	meaningful	,	you	take	yourself	way	to	seriously	,	blah	blah	blah	,	yada	yada	yada	etc	.	etc	.	"	.	hmm	.	.	.	i'm	not	entirely	sure	i	agree	.	the	entire	star	wars	trilogy	revolves	around	religion	(	the	force	)	,	and	what	can	be	seen	as	serious	issues	(	the	battle	between	good	and	evil	.	)	this	is	a	fun	movie	but	it	doesn't	quite	capture	the	sense	of	awe	and	excitement	the	first	two	do	.	it's	meant	to	be	seen	on	a	big	screen	.	(	much	like	gone	with	the	wind	,	an	entertaining	but	wildy	over	rated	and	equally	mediocre	film	.	)	both	films	are	esentially	entertainments	that	could	have	been	alot	better	then	they	are	.	as	seen	on	a	big	screen	rotj	is	great	fun	.	(	if	i	had	reviewed	it	after	seeing	it	on	the	big	screen	i	would	have	gave	it	1	2	and	b	.	)	but	i'm	talking	little	screen	here	the	video	experience	.	and	that	ain't	all	that	great	.	i	still	like	the	film	but	i	don't	love	it	.	i'm	starting	to	worry	that	mr	.	lucas	will	not	live	up	to	our	expectations	when	he	releases	his	new	films	.	perhaps	there	is	no	way	he	can	.	(	of	course	such	a	rule	can	be	defied	.	i've	never	like	jurassic	park	but	i	thought	the	sequel	was	well	crafted	and	a	heck	of	alot	of	fun	.	)	but	whether	or	not	he	does	tesb	is	a	movie	to	treasure	and	the	other	two	aren't	all	that	bad	either	.
pos	james	l	.	brooks	,	one	of	the	developers	of	the	simpsons	and	director	of	broadcast	news	,	returns	to	the	big	screen	with	this	entertaining	,	if	slightly	flawed	comedy	.	nicholson	plays	melvin	udall	,	probably	the	most	horrible	person	ever	on	the	screen	.	he's	racist	,	homophobic	,	and	never	has	a	good	word	to	say	to	anyone	.	so	,	nobody	talks	to	him	,	except	waitress	carol	conelly	(	t	.	v	sitcom	star	hunt	,	who	was	last	seen	in	twister	,	1996	)	.	naturally	,	udall	,	conelly	and	gay	neighbor	simon	bishop	(	kinnear	)	who	nicholson	hates	,	all	hit	it	off	in	the	end	.	like	good	will	hunting	(	1997	)	and	titanic	(	1997	)	,	even	though	the	outcome	is	completely	obvious	,	as	good	as	it	gets	is	an	enjoyable	,	funny	and	warm	comedy	.	nicholson	is	hilarious	as	melvin	,	churning	out	insults	with	superb	relish	.	only	nicholson	could	get	away	with	the	lines	that	melvin	delivers	.	hunt	is	also	good	as	waitress	carol	,	and	easily	rises	to	the	challenge	of	nicholson	.	there's	also	(	thankfully	)	a	bit	of	chemistry	between	them	.	kinnear	,	as	the	gay	neighbor	,	seems	to	have	a	slightly	underwritten	role	,	he's	more	of	a	plot	convience	than	a	character	.	although	his	performance	is	good	,	his	character	just	seems	to	exist	to	help	melvin	and	carol	come	together	.	in	fact	,	the	scene	stealer	is	simon's	dog	,	who	is	funnier	than	nicholson	.	but	then	again	,	pets	are	always	cute	on	screen	.	providing	solid	support	is	cuba	gooding	,	jnr	(	jerry	maguire	,	1996	)	and	yeardly	smith	(	who	is	the	voice	of	lisa	simpsons	in	the	simpsons	)	although	gooding	isn't	as	good	as	is	character	in	maguire	,	he	is	still	fun	.	he	overacts	a	little	,	but	not	so	much	as	to	be	annoying	.	smith	is	also	good	,	although	she	has	a	fairly	small	role	.	even	director	lawrence	kasdan	(	body	heat	,	1981	)	makes	an	appearance	as	a	doctor	.	but	this	is	primarily	nicholsons	film	,	and	every	scene	he's	in	,	he's	steals	it	.	he's	character	is	so	hateful	,	though	,	it's	amazing	that	anyone	talks	to	him	at	all	,	especially	carol	.	and	this	is	the	films	main	problem	.	it's	totally	unbelievable	that	carol	would	ever	consider	liking	melvin	.	she	doesn't	fall	in	love	with	him	naturally	,	the	film	forces	her	to	fall	in	love	with	him	.	also	,	melvins	character	seems	to	go	too	nice	,	too	quickly	.	i	would	doubt	anyone	with	a	character	like	melvins	would	be	able	to	turn	back	to	a	nice	,	loving	person	.	it	would	take	a	helluva	long	time	,	much	longer	than	this	film	would	like	to	make	out	.	brooks	direction	is	good	,	though	,	if	a	bit	average	,	but	he	usually	manages	to	get	an	emotion	out	of	the	audience	.	he	handles	the	comedy	scenes	better	than	the	sentimental	ones	(	he	tends	to	pile	on	to	much	schmaltz	)	but	generally	he's	good	.	there's	also	a	nice	soundtrack	by	veteran	composer	hans	zimmer	.	but	,	generally	,	as	good	as	it	gets	achieves	what	it	sets	out	to	do	,	which	is	to	make	the	audience	feel	good	by	the	end	of	the	movie	.	the	movie	is	a	bit	overlong	,	but	nicholson	is	such	good	fun	that	the	running	time	passes	by	pretty	quickly	.	overall	,	as	good	as	it	gets	is	a	fun	movie	,	even	though	it	may	be	unbelivable	,	and	certainly	worth	seeing	(	if	just	for	jack	nicholsons	performance	.	)	not	quite	as	good	as	it	gets	(	pardon	the	bad	joke	)	,	but	still	good	fun	.
pos	set	in	the	wild	west	,	this	carry	on	centres	around	the	arrival	of	the	rumpo	kid	(	sidney	james	)	and	his	cronies	in	stodge	city	.	his	dodgy	dealings	and	summary	shootings	aggravate	judge	burke	(	kenneth	williams	)	so	much	that	he	asks	sheriff	albert	earp	(	jon	pertwee	)	to	drive	rumpo	out	of	town	.	instead	,	the	rumpo	kid	shoots	the	sheriff	dead	.	therefore	,	judge	burke	sends	for	a	law	marshall	to	come	in	and	clean	up	the	city	.	due	to	a	misunderstanding	,	an	english	sanitary	engineer	called	marshall	p	.	knutt	(	jim	dale	)	is	assigned	,	without	knowing	it	,	as	the	law	marshall	for	stodge	city	.	he	arrives	at	the	same	time	as	annie	oakley	(	angela	douglas	)	who	is	seeking	revenge	for	her	father	,	the	sheriff's	murder	.	when	marshall	arrives	at	stodge	city	,	he	soon	becomes	aware	of	the	misunderstanding	and	due	to	his	rather	limited	intellect	,	he	is	manipulated	by	the	rumpo	kid	and	always	ends	up	getting	things	wrong	.	in	the	end	,	there	is	a	head	to	head	between	rumpo	and	marshall	.	with	the	rumpo's	past	experience	,	it	would	seem	that	marshall	is	out	of	his	depth	,	but	using	his	sanitary	skills	and	learning	the	ways	of	the	west	from	annie	oakley	,	he	at	least	stands	some	chance	!	sid	james	,	with	an	american	accent	,	is	perfect	as	the	rumpo	kid	,	a	part	which	suits	him	down	to	the	ground	.	jim	dale	provides	one	of	his	best	carry	on	performances	as	the	stupid	sanitary	engineer	,	and	angela	douglas	is	very	effective	in	her	role	as	the	revengeful	daughter	.	other	regulars	that	appear	in	this	movie	include	charles	hawtrey	and	bernard	bresslaw	(	in	his	debut	)	as	big	heap	and	little	heap	respectively	.	big	heap	is	the	local	indian	leader	and	the	crazy	casting	of	hawtrey	for	this	part	is	very	amusing	,	as	is	his	performance	:	he	steals	every	scene	he	is	in	even	though	he	does	not	enter	the	film	until	thirty	minutes	past	.	joan	sims	provides	useful	and	amusing	support	as	belle	,	the	local	bar	owner	who	takes	a	fancy	to	the	rumpo	kid	.	however	,	the	part	of	doc	played	by	peter	butterworth	and	sheriff	albert	earp	played	by	jon	pertwee	are	not	really	necessary	,	and	pertwee's	performance	is	rather	poor	.	kenneth	williams	uses	a	new	voice	but	struggles	with	the	weak	part	of	the	'judge'	.	even	so	,	this	carry	on	was	sid	james	and	kenneth	williams'	favourite	.	a	very	different	carry	on	film	,	in	that	it	is	played	more	seriously	by	the	actors	and	possesses	more	realism	than	any	other	carry	on	.	the	death	count	is	the	highest	of	any	carry	on	film	.	sets	,	costumes	and	action	sequences	are	all	very	commendable	.	the	songs	that	are	included	in	the	movie	(	the	title	song	and	annie's	song	)	are	very	impressive	.	a	strange	but	therefore	very	interesting	carry	on	film	.	not	the	best	of	its	kind	but	it	is	certainly	the	most	distinctive	film	of	the	series	.
pos	directed	by	peter	berg	.	cast	:	jon	favreau	,	cameron	diaz	,	christian	slater	,	jeremy	piven	,	leland	orser	,	daniel	stern	,	jeanne	tripplehorn	,	joey	zimmerman	,	tyler	malinger	,	carla	scott	,	russell	b	.	mckenzie	.	1998	101	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	extreme	violence	,	gore	,	profanity	,	sex	,	and	nudity	)	.	reviewed	november	27	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	"	very	bad	things	,	"	is	the	most	delightfully	morbid	film	of	the	year	,	a	movie	that	goes	so	far	over	the	deep	end	with	its	outrageousness	and	violence	that	i	couldn't	help	but	be	won	over	by	the	material	.	the	film	starts	off	with	five	friends	leaving	their	homes	in	los	angeles	for	a	bachelor	party	in	las	vegas	.	the	groom	to	be	is	kyle	fisher	(	jon	favreau	)	,	who	is	about	to	be	married	to	the	controlling	,	wedding	obsessed	laura	(	cameron	diaz	)	.	the	other	friends	are	real	estate	agent	robert	boyd	(	christian	slater	)	,	quiet	charles	(	leland	orser	)	,	and	brothers	,	michael	(	jeremy	piven	)	and	family	man	adam	(	daniel	stern	)	.	after	a	wild	night	of	gambling	,	boozing	,	and	drugs	,	a	stripper	(	carla	scott	)	who	was	paid	for	by	robert	comes	into	their	hotel	room	,	but	after	a	freak	accident	,	to	everyone's	terror	,	she	is	killed	.	as	robert	puts	it	:	"	there	are	two	options	:	go	to	the	police	and	go	to	prison	,	or	bury	her	out	in	the	desert	where	no	one	will	ever	find	her	.	"	after	a	security	guard	enters	into	the	hotel	room	unexpectantly	and	sees	the	body	,	robert	is	forced	to	kill	him	as	well	.	"	okay	,	there	is	only	one	option	now	.	you	can	forget	about	calling	the	police	,	"	he	says	.	by	the	time	the	five	friends	return	home	and	as	the	wedding	draws	nearer	,	most	of	them	are	overcome	with	guilt	,	which	sets	off	an	even	more	elaborate	series	of	event	,	that	includes	much	,	much	more	murder	,	double	crosses	,	and	the	inevitable	wedding	from	hell	.	"	very	bad	things	,	"	which	is	actor	peter	berg's	feature	film	directing	debut	,	is	the	shockingly	perverse	and	wicked	comedy	that	,	"	there's	something	about	mary	,	"	wanted	to	be	.	it	pulls	out	all	the	stops	to	create	something	fresh	,	original	,	and	hilarious	,	even	if	that	requires	surprisingly	graphic	violence	,	gore	,	and	a	slew	of	truly	hateful	characters	that	all	get	what	they	deserve	by	the	end	.	the	screenplay	,	also	written	by	berg	,	is	,	to	put	it	mildly	,	very	funny	and	courageous	.	during	the	second	act	of	the	film	,	some	of	the	fun	was	beginning	to	slightly	dwindle	due	to	so	much	death	,	which	was	beginning	to	undermine	the	humor	,	but	it	eventually	recouped	itself	with	a	climax	that	has	to	be	seen	to	be	believed	.	the	dialogue	is	edgy	and	inventive	,	and	this	film	proves	that	a	movie	doesn't	necessarily	require	likable	character	to	be	extremely	enjoyable	.	there's	more	fun	,	i	think	,	in	showing	ignorable	people	getting	their	just	desserts	.	cameron	diaz	gives	her	best	performance	to	date	here	,	and	has	a	lot	of	fun	in	playing	the	hateful	laura	,	who	eventually	turns	out	to	be	more	crazy	than	any	of	the	five	male	friends	.	diaz	puts	so	much	overblown	energy	to	her	character	that	i	really	do	think	she	deserves	a	supporting	actress	oscar	nomination	come	next	january	.	by	the	time	she	is	beating	someone	to	death	with	a	coat	hanger	,	and	reciting	lines	like	,	"	stuff	him	in	the	crapper	and	get	your	ass	upstairs	,	"	i	couldn't	help	but	crack	up	at	how	"	balls	to	the	wall	"	this	film	had	become	.	jeanne	tripplehorn	creates	another	character	original	,	as	daniel	stern's	wife	,	who	late	in	the	picture	,	we	discover	,	is	a	tough	kick	boxer	that	should	not	be	messed	around	with	.	it	is	at	this	level	that	,	"	very	bad	things	,	"	was	so	entertaining	and	surprising	.	just	when	you	thought	you	could	predict	what	was	going	to	happen	,	there	would	be	a	little	twist	involving	the	characters	that	would	be	absolutely	wacky	.	the	last	sequence	was	perfect	and	managed	to	go	even	further	over	the	top	.	although	i	enjoyed	the	film	immensely	,	let	me	make	this	clear	:	"	very	bad	things	,	"	is	not	a	movie	for	everyone	.	it	is	more	tasteless	than	anything	i	have	ever	seen	,	it	is	more	violent	and	bloody	than	a	r	rated	film	usually	is	,	and	it	is	offensive	.	luckily	,	these	are	elements	that	i	would	prefer	in	a	comedy	,	since	it	clearly	shows	the	filmmakers	were	set	on	making	a	no	holds	barred	,	politically	incorrect	comedy	.	the	fact	that	this	film	slipped	through	the	cracks	of	the	usually	mainstream	and	"	safe	"	wide	releases	coming	out	lately	,	still	gives	me	hope	for	the	hollywood	film	industry	.
pos	ultra	low	budget	but	extremely	inventive	horror	film	about	a	group	of	friends	vacationing	in	a	cabin	who	accidentally	awaken	an	evil	force	in	the	woods	via	the	necronomicon	,	the	book	of	the	dead	.	bruce	campbell	stars	as	ash	,	who	eventually	becomes	the	sole	survivor	and	has	to	battle	both	the	demons	from	the	woods	,	and	his	friends	who	have	become	demons	(	including	his	own	girlfriend	)	.	the	results	shown	on	screen	are	amazing	considering	the	film's	tiny	budget	,	constant	location	changes	,	and	a	filming	schedule	that	was	sporadic	over	two	years	.	followed	by	two	sequels	:	evil	dead	ii	(	1987	)	and	army	of	darkness	(	1993	)	.	the	dvd	release	of	this	film	from	elite	entertainment	contains	the	film	in	it's	original	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	33	:	1	.	the	disc	contains	two	versions	of	the	film's	audio	:	a	stereo	2	.	0	track	and	a	newly	remastered	dolby	digital	5	.	1	.	included	are	two	separate	running	commentary	tracks	:	the	first	features	writer	director	sam	raimi	and	producer	rob	tapert	and	the	second	track	features	the	film's	star	,	bruce	campbell	.	campbell's	commentary	is	informative	and	extremely	witty	,	as	he	has	a	story	to	tell	for	virtually	every	scene	in	the	film	.	such	informative	tidbits	include	:	the	original	title	of	the	film	was	going	to	be	book	of	the	dead	(	and	in	fact	when	the	film	premiered	in	1981	that	was	it's	title	)	and	when	they	were	asked	to	change	the	title	to	the	evil	dead	,	everyone	thought	it	was	the	worst	title	they	had	ever	heard	.	also	,	there's	a	scene	early	on	in	the	film	where	the	group	sits	around	and	listens	to	a	tape	recorder	which	they've	found	that's	explaining	about	the	demonic	forces	in	the	woods	.	for	that	scene	,	it	was	written	for	the	characters	to	be	smoking	marijuana	,	so	being	the	wacky	kids	that	they	were	at	the	time	,	they	decided	to	actually	smoke	marijuana	for	the	scene	.	almost	all	of	that	footage	became	unusable	because	many	of	the	actor's	had	never	smoked	before	,	and	as	a	result	they	became	"	confused	"	and	were	unable	to	perform	the	scene	.	i	wish	the	entertainment	factor	was	as	high	for	the	sam	raimi	rob	tapert	audio	track	.	the	two	people	you'd	think	would	be	more	enthusiastic	in	talking	about	this	film	instead	barely	have	much	to	say	at	all	.	don't	get	me	wrong	here	,	when	they	do	speak	it's	entertaining	to	hear	,	but	there	are	many	instances	where	both	are	silent	for	long	periods	of	time	.	sometimes	after	one	of	those	long	silences	rob	will	ask	"	have	anything	to	say	sam	?	"	to	me	,	that's	not	a	good	sign	.	also	,	it	seems	like	sam	raimi	doesn't	remember	much	about	the	film	and	it's	production	.	.	.	well	,	compared	to	rob	and	bruce	anyway	.	also	included	on	the	disc	is	a	photo	gallery	(	which	includes	pictures	from	the	film's	"	gala	"	premiere	)	and	about	twenty	minutes	of	raw	footage	from	the	film	.	this	raw	footage	really	shows	you	how	much	a	film	can	be	improved	upon	using	simple	audio	techniques	.	overall	,	the	evil	dead	is	a	good	low	budget	horror	film	,	superior	to	many	films	in	it's	genre	.	and	the	collector's	edition	dvd	release	is	well	worth	your	time	if	you're	either	a	fan	of	the	film	or	just	a	fan	of	the	filmmaking	process	.	all	special	edition	dvds	should	be	this	thorough	and	entertaining	.	the	jacksonville	film	journal	film	reviews	by	chuck	dowling	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	"	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	a	1999	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.
pos	you	know	,	i've	seen	network	before	,	and	it's	a	much	better	film	.	bulworth	is	,	in	the	kindest	of	words	,	an	"	homage	"	to	that	picture	,	and	at	least	it	has	an	excellent	role	model	.	simply	take	the	story	about	a	tv	newsman	who	goes	nuts	,	stirs	up	controversy	,	and	fatally	angers	the	establishment	and	change	it	to	a	us	senator	who	does	the	same	thing	,	and	you've	got	bulworth	.	warren	beatty's	title	role	performance	is	the	only	reason	bulworth	has	anything	going	for	it	at	all	.	much	like	tom	cruise	in	jerry	maguire	,	beatty	takes	a	difficult	character	and	makes	it	his	own	,	and	while	beatty	as	a	foul	mouthed	politician	is	not	exactly	playing	against	type	,	it's	still	his	very	aggressive	performance	that	carries	the	picture	.	everything	else	,	from	the	dismal	supporting	cast	(	halle	berry	has	never	looked	so	lost	)	to	the	throw	away	one	liners	(	you've	seen	all	the	best	over	and	over	again	on	the	trailers	)	is	cut	and	pasted	from	network	or	clearly	dredged	from	some	late	night	rewrite	session	.	still	,	beatty's	in	fine	form	,	and	his	outrageous	wackiness	takes	the	film	halfway	to	where	it	could	have	been	.	(	and	geez	,	he	directed	,	produced	,	wrote	,	and	starred	in	the	film	.	.	.	maybe	someone	was	a	little	too	busy	?	)	but	overall	,	the	missed	opportunities	,	the	overtly	silly	anti	pc	message	backed	up	by	nothing	,	and	the	all	too	forseeable	ending	make	bulworth	little	more	than	a	fable	that	we	already	knew	:	that	anyone	involved	with	politics	is	totally	insane	.
pos	mulan	(	walt	disney	pictures	1998	)	voices	by	ming	na	wen	,	eddie	murphy	,	b	.	d	.	wong	,	harvey	fierstein	screenplay	by	rita	hsiao	,	christopher	sanders	,	philip	lazebnik	,	raymond	singer	,	eugenia	bostwick	singer	produced	by	pam	coats	directed	by	barry	cook	tony	bancroft	running	time	:	88	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	east	meets	west	in	mulan	,	the	latest	installment	in	disney's	parade	of	annual	animated	feature	films	.	an	odd	fusion	of	ancient	asian	traditions	and	disconcerting	elements	which	betray	obvious	mass	market	commercial	sensibilities	,	this	confident	entry	is	easily	the	most	engaging	and	satisfying	hollywood	animated	feature	in	years	,	but	falls	short	of	actualizing	its	potential	.	though	not	for	lack	of	trying	.	in	many	respects	,	mulan	is	among	disney's	most	mature	efforts	,	skirting	the	surface	of	adult	themes	and	daring	to	sneak	glimpses	into	the	messier	side	of	combat	.	the	violence	of	the	battles	in	the	film	are	admittedly	sanitized	the	imagery	of	a	pillaged	village	,	neatly	encapsulated	in	the	form	of	a	child's	discarded	doll	,	is	in	itself	no	more	harrowing	than	luke	discovering	his	fallen	guardians	in	star	wars	,	and	mulan's	later	heroics	in	dispatching	of	the	ruthless	invaders	is	done	so	in	the	most	tidy	,	bloodless	method	imaginable	yet	how	often	does	a	hollywood	animated	film	,	long	considered	as	the	last	safe	refuge	for	the	innocent	,	dare	touch	upon	the	consequential	horrors	of	war	in	such	a	provocative	manner	?	in	an	instant	,	idealistic	mulan's	innocence	is	lost	,	and	her	jovial	squadron	are	reminded	of	what	their	efforts	are	spent	defending	.	the	film	,	based	upon	an	ancient	chinese	fable	,	centers	on	a	spirited	young	woman	who	disguises	herself	as	a	man	in	order	to	serve	as	her	family's	obligatory	conscript	when	china	finds	itself	under	attack	by	huns	(	cartoonishly	depicted	by	easy	demonic	overtones	,	replete	with	glowing	yellow	eyes	and	dagger	edged	teeth	,	although	lent	a	surprisingly	genuine	sense	of	menace	)	.	dipping	into	the	mythology	of	other	cultures	for	the	first	time	after	cavorting	in	animated	revisitings	of	familiar	western	european	fables	and	literature	for	decades	,	disney's	new	film	is	boldly	set	in	ancient	china	rather	than	relocated	elsewhere	,	story	intact	,	to	some	neutral	territory	,	and	revels	in	its	east	asian	roots	;	aside	from	a	predominantly	asian	american	cast	providing	the	film's	vocal	work	,	there's	liberal	usage	of	oriental	iconography	throughout	,	and	the	artwork	reveal	hints	of	japanese	anime	influence	.	while	the	film	does	occasionally	reach	its	limits	and	starts	to	tread	upon	old	stereotypes	invoking	pseudo	asian	references	to	items	like	beancurd	and	rice	in	every	third	sentence	grows	rather	hoary	,	and	i	can't	imagine	that	the	regiment	for	ancient	chinese	warriors	really	included	karate	chopping	blocks	of	stone	in	two	it's	rather	remarkable	that	a	movie	primarily	positioned	for	american	and	european	audiences	delves	so	wholeheartedly	into	new	foreign	territory	.	the	film	also	freely	touches	upon	cultural	idiosyncrasies	from	its	outset	;	although	savvy	viewers	should	easily	pick	up	on	the	intrinsics	immediately	,	it's	startlingly	assertive	in	providing	as	little	shorthand	as	it	does	to	unfamiliar	youngsters	with	regards	to	the	customs	and	traditions	of	mulan's	land	.	at	its	core	,	the	film	is	a	tale	of	heroic	adventure	,	and	as	such	paints	its	story	in	bold	strokes	of	honour	,	perseverance	,	nobility	and	courage	.	as	such	,	animation	is	the	perfect	vehicle	for	this	flavour	of	epic	,	where	stark	emotional	simplicity	is	able	to	effectively	work	hand	in	hand	with	visual	purity	.	scenes	which	would	play	out	as	unbearably	hokey	in	live	action	,	such	as	mulan's	venerable	father	pridefully	tossing	aside	his	cane	when	accepting	his	draft	notice	,	are	lent	a	sense	of	strength	and	conveyed	with	greater	emotional	clarity	in	animation	.	mulan	capitalizes	on	this	during	its	strongest	moments	,	particularly	during	our	heroine's	character	defining	opening	half	hour	.	it's	when	the	film	attempts	to	integrate	the	traditional	mainstays	of	recent	hollywood	animation	the	friendly	animal	sidekick	,	the	colourful	array	of	supporting	characters	into	the	mix	where	it	goes	slightly	awry	.	off	to	battle	,	mulan	finds	herself	being	trailed	by	a	jive	talking	diminutive	dragon	called	mushu	and	an	agreeable	little	"	lucky	"	cricket	,	who	ostensibly	appear	to	assist	in	her	subterfuge	and	realistically	serve	as	audience	friendly	comic	relief	.	they're	affable	presences	,	and	not	precisely	ineffective	reasonable	amounts	of	humour	are	elicited	,	and	eddie	murphy	(	who	voices	mushu	)	is	amusingly	earnest	but	amidst	all	the	high	melodrama	,	the	effect	is	mildly	jarring	and	,	from	a	storytelling	perspective	,	questionable	in	its	necessity	.	at	training	camp	,	mulan	antagonizes	and	eventually	wins	over	a	trio	of	fumbling	recruits	(	easily	characterized	simply	as	the	short	clown	,	the	skinny	clown	,	and	the	big	clown	)	,	who	provide	more	levity	into	the	film	with	decidedly	less	effectiveness	,	and	,	in	a	familiar	retread	of	traditional	disney	patterns	,	she	grows	a	certain	fondness	for	a	handsome	,	square	jawed	young	captain	,	shang	.	everybody	needs	love	,	even	ancient	chinese	warrior	princesses	,	but	not	necessarily	in	this	film	.	the	romantic	angle	,	which	lets	the	air	out	of	the	sails	of	the	story's	neo	feminist	underpinnings	,	lacks	any	genuine	spark	and	plays	out	like	a	contractual	obligation	.	another	staple	of	recent	disney	animated	films	,	a	cache	of	hummable	little	ditties	,	has	also	obligingly	been	carried	over	to	mulan	but	proves	to	be	a	decided	weakness	.	composed	by	matthew	wilder	,	none	of	the	handful	of	tunes	are	particularly	distinguishing	,	and	one	"	i'll	make	a	man	out	of	you	"	(	unimaginatively	accompanying	a	tired	montage	featuring	our	crew	of	characters	transforming	into	lean	fighting	machines	)	becomes	so	grating	and	hackneyed	that	it	seems	almost	interminable	.	only	"	reflections	"	,	an	early	ballad	of	lament	,	proves	to	be	a	song	of	any	consequence	,	serving	as	an	effective	showcase	for	lea	salonga	,	one	of	musical	theatre's	most	wondrously	pure	voices	.	nonetheless	,	mulan	is	an	especially	appealing	piece	of	work	from	the	disney	factory	,	with	a	strong	narrative	arc	and	pleasant	artwork	;	the	computer	generated	stampede	of	hun	warriors	charging	down	a	snow	mountain	is	wholly	impressive	.	while	the	blatantly	child	friendly	elements	at	times	seem	incongruous	with	the	remainder	of	the	film	,	they're	not	dissuasive	and	remain	fairly	enjoyable	.	briskly	paced	with	a	smart	,	energetic	heroine	and	filled	with	high	adventure	,	the	film	is	ultimately	most	satisfying	on	the	intimate	scale	of	father	and	daughter	.
pos	luckily	,	some	people	got	starship	troopers	.	some	people	knew	it	was	supposed	to	be	silly	.	for	those	of	you	who	didn't	,	how	could	you	miss	it	?	from	the	very	beginning	,	when	we	see	an	interactive	internet	like	promotional	video	for	the	armed	forces	of	the	future	,	it	should	be	obvious	this	film	is	to	be	taken	lightly	.	i	guess	without	blatant	one	liners	and	home	alone	style	slapstick	,	some	people	just	don't	recognize	such	goofy	humor	.	such	a	dry	approach	to	such	intentionally	campy	humor	must	have	left	some	disillusioned	.	first	thing	to	do	before	seeing	this	movie	lighten	up	.	meet	the	equivalent	of	"	beverly	hills	90210	"	meets	"	mighty	morphin	power	rangers	"	.	four	close	friends	are	now	graduating	high	school	and	are	ready	to	join	the	armed	forces	,	which	,	in	the	future	,	means	fighting	for	the	whole	galaxy	and	not	just	your	country	.	johnny	rico	(	casper	van	dien	)	is	ready	to	join	the	infantry	,	mostly	because	his	girlfriend	carmen	ibanez	(	denise	richards	)	has	enlisted	to	be	a	pilot	.	dizzy	flores	(	dina	meyer	)	has	enlisted	as	a	trooper	,	and	it's	possible	she's	joining	merely	to	follow	rico	,	whom	she's	always	had	eyes	for	.	if	you	saw	these	three	on	the	street	,	you'd	automatically	start	searching	for	the	fashion	designers	and	photographers	,	for	never	has	a	movie's	cast	looked	so	much	like	the	cut	out	cover	of	"	seventeen	"	magazine	.	the	lone	non	supermodel	,	carl	jenkins	(	played	by	doogie	howser	himself	,	neil	patrick	harris	)	is	the	brainiac	who	gets	into	the	military	intelligence	division	,	the	top	secret	department	that	pretty	much	leaves	doogie	er	,	carl	out	of	the	picture	.	(	good	call	now	we	can	put	all	our	drooling	efforts	into	only	the	most	deserving	of	characters	)	.	right	off	the	bat	,	rico	becomes	the	star	of	the	show	,	far	surpassing	all	the	other	soldiers	and	becoming	squadron	leader	in	a	short	period	of	time	.	but	a	horrific	accident	during	a	standard	training	exercise	(	which	follows	all	to	closely	to	his	breakup	with	carmen	)	leaves	rico	ready	to	call	it	quits	.	with	his	bags	packed	and	his	civilian	clothes	back	on	,	johnny	is	ready	to	walk	off	base	and	catch	the	next	flight	home	.	well	sorry	,	rico	suave	,	but	there's	no	place	like	home	,	especially	after	gigantic	alien	insects	have	destroyed	it	.	that's	right	,	the	planet	is	being	attacked	by	a	colony	of	arachnid	like	alien	beings	that	a	can	of	raid	just	isn't	going	to	destroy	.	with	a	sudden	change	of	heart	(	and	clothes	)	,	rico	is	back	in	the	game	,	following	his	fellow	starship	troopers	off	to	fight	a	mean	group	of	daddy	long	legs	.	what	starship	troopers	really	is	,	is	a	spoof	of	all	that	it	even	remotely	touches	on	the	soap	opera	like	love	affairs	of	high	school	,	the	love	for	sci	fi	and	thirst	for	gore	shared	by	this	same	age	group	,	etc	.	nothing	is	taken	seriously	.	it's	almost	as	much	a	satire	on	young	adults	as	clueless	,	but	with	its	sly	and	futuristic	approach	,	it's	not	as	recognizably	so	.	it's	a	spoof	so	subtle	that	many	won't	recognize	the	spoofery	.	if	you	deem	this	as	sci	fi	action	,	you're	wrong	.	it's	sci	fi	action	comedy	,	with	the	comedy	being	on	the	level	of	such	cult	favorites	as	evil	dead	2	.	starship	troopers	just	may	be	on	the	road	to	cult	status	as	well	.	gore	is	a	factor	heavily	brought	up	in	reviews	of	this	film	,	but	the	gore	,	too	,	is	meant	to	be	cheesy	.	yes	,	it's	graphic	,	but	it's	also	brutally	phony	,	and	that's	what	makes	it	such	great	fun	to	watch	.	not	since	the	old	"	mr	.	bill	"	skits	on	"	saturday	night	live	"	has	torture	and	mutilation	been	such	a	joy	to	watch	.	people	were	laughing	out	loud	every	time	a	body	was	severed	in	half	or	a	head	was	viciously	decapitated	.	perhaps	it	brings	back	fond	memories	of	the	severities	we	inflicted	upon	our	sisters'	barbie	dolls	as	young	children	.	with	the	actors	resembling	ken	and	barbie	so	closely	,	it's	a	good	chance	this	is	the	case	,	whether	we're	fully	aware	of	it	or	not	.	starship	troopers	has	it's	slow	parts	,	but	it's	truly	an	alternative	to	your	typical	sci	fi	action	flick	or	lame	juvenile	comedy	.	aside	from	the	intentionally	cheesy	gore	,	the	special	effects	are	quite	astounding	.	when	the	spaceship	passes	a	meteor	,	it's	quite	an	awesome	spectacle	,	visually	crisp	and	captivating	.	if	you're	looking	for	brainless	fun	,	this	is	the	epitome	of	your	search	.	a	beautiful	cast	,	awesome	special	effects	,	fast	paced	action	,	campy	acting	,	and	a	whole	lot	of	gore	.	this	is	brainless	heaven	.	just	remember	not	to	think	.
pos	directed	by	:	mike	nichols	written	by	:	garry	shandling	(	story	)	,	michael	leeson	how	do	you	think	an	alien	would	react	if	forced	to	experience	the	trials	of	human	dating	rituals	?	this	is	the	main	idea	behind	"	what	planet	are	you	from	?	"	,	the	new	comedy	from	director	mike	nichols	(	"	primary	colors	"	,	"	the	birdcage	"	)	.	garry	shandling	(	"	the	larry	sanders	show	"	)	,	who	also	developed	the	film's	story	,	plays	the	lead	role	.	the	truth	is	,	i	went	into	this	movie	not	expecting	a	whole	lot	out	of	shandling	.	i've	never	cared	for	his	previous	roles	,	and	the	previews	looked	somewhat	bland	.	much	to	my	surprise	,	"	what	planet	are	you	from	?	"	turned	out	to	be	quite	an	enjoyable	movie	with	fairly	consistent	laughs	throughout	.	this	is	mainly	because	not	only	does	shandling	do	an	admirable	job	,	but	he	is	surrounded	by	a	great	supporting	cast	.	on	a	planet	way	the	hell	out	there	,	a	race	of	men	is	preparing	to	take	over	the	universe	by	sending	minions	to	have	sex	with	women	from	every	other	race	in	the	galaxy	.	harold	anderson	(	garry	shandling	)	has	been	chosen	to	procreate	with	a	female	from	earth	.	his	planet's	leader	(	ben	kingsley	)	prepares	him	with	the	necessary	training	(	in	a	very	amusing	opening	scene	)	and	gives	him	two	days	to	conceive	a	child	.	however	,	upon	his	arrival	,	anderson	finds	that	his	training	has	not	prepared	him	for	the	illogical	behavior	of	humans	.	he	immediately	seeks	help	from	a	co	worker	(	greg	kinnear	)	and	is	soon	introduced	to	a	suitable	mate	named	susan	(	annette	bening	)	.	anderson	is	faced	with	two	problems	now	:	first	,	susan	will	only	mate	with	him	after	they	are	married	,	and	second	,	his	arrival	on	the	planet	has	aroused	the	suspicions	of	an	airport	employee	(	john	goodman	)	who	soon	discovers	who	anderson	really	is	.	i	think	the	funniest	thing	about	shandling's	performance	throughout	"	what	planet	are	you	from	?	"	is	that	he	reacts	to	everything	thrown	at	him	in	such	a	logical	manner	.	for	example	,	in	one	scene	susan	is	upset	with	harold	for	watching	television	rather	than	paying	attention	to	her	.	she	hurls	the	remote	against	the	wall	,	smashing	it	.	harold	immediately	decides	to	purchase	a	new	remote	,	which	further	infuriates	susan	.	she	then	shouts	"	fine	,	just	go	!	"	harold	promptly	nods	his	head	and	leaves	.	annette	bening	is	perfectly	cast	as	susan	,	managing	somehow	to	look	hassled	,	angry	,	and	deeply	confused	all	at	once	.	she	also	manages	to	save	shandling	at	times	when	his	lack	of	experience	in	a	leading	role	begins	to	show	.	the	supporting	cast	is	,	in	fact	,	one	of	the	best	things	about	this	film	.	greg	kinnear	(	"	mystery	men	"	,	"	as	good	as	it	gets	"	)	is	perfect	as	the	king	of	sleaze	balls	everywhere	.	ben	kingsley	(	"	species	"	,	"	schindler's	list	"	)	is	a	great	choice	as	the	straight	as	an	arrow	ruler	of	anderson's	planet	,	though	he	is	a	bit	underused	.	john	goodman	(	"	the	big	lebowski	"	)	,	who	i	believe	is	one	of	the	best	comic	actors	in	hollywood	,	is	hilarious	in	his	role	as	the	one	man	who	thinks	he	knows	the	truth	.	one	of	the	biggest	problems	i	had	with	the	film	was	that	goodman	was	so	underused	that	his	character	seemed	rather	pointless	.	linda	fiorentino	(	"	dogma	"	)	makes	a	brief	appearance	as	kinnear's	wife	,	and	janeane	garofolo	shows	up	in	a	cameo	as	an	airline	passenger	.	the	film	may	not	make	a	whole	lot	of	sense	,	since	we	are	never	told	just	how	anderson's	impregnating	a	woman	will	bring	about	the	downfall	of	the	species	,	but	plot	isn't	exactly	the	point	here	.	while	"	what	planet	are	you	from	?	"	manages	to	keep	the	humor	going	through	the	majority	of	its	length	,	things	do	get	a	bit	too	sappy	and	sentimental	towards	the	end	.	if	it	had	been	trimmend	down	some	from	its	112	minute	running	time	i	probably	would	have	given	it	four	stars	.	one	last	thing	i	must	note	is	that	annette	bening	plays	a	real	estate	agent	in	the	film	(	"	american	beauty	"	,	anyone	?	)	.	for	a	very	funny	script	,	a	surprisingly	good	turn	by	garry	shandling	,	and	a	great	supporting	cast	,	i	give	"	what	planet	are	you	from	?	"	three	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	only	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	made	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	posters	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	human	space	astronaut	accidentally	falls	upon	a	planet	ruled	by	apes	.	he	is	taken	prisoner	along	with	some	other	humans	,	and	tries	his	best	to	escape	his	simian	captors	.	oh	yeah	,	and	did	i	mention	that	the	apes	can	talk	?	kewl	!	critique	:	despite	this	film	not	looking	like	a	"	tim	burton	movie	"	or	its	lead	human	character	showing	any	signs	of	being	a	human	being	himself	,	i	did	find	myself	generally	entertained	throughout	most	of	this	film	and	do	recommend	it	as	fun	,	summer	fare	.	although	the	thing	that	sets	this	movie	apart	from	all	others	is	definitely	its	incredible	ape	make	up	jobs	and	characterizations	.	i	mean	,	i	was	completely	convinced	that	every	single	one	of	these	apes	was	for	real	!	i	also	have	to	"	give	it	up	"	to	all	of	the	actors	inside	the	costumes	,	not	only	for	waking	up	at	three	in	the	morning	every	day	to	get	make	up	slobbered	all	over	them	for	2	4	hours	,	but	for	coming	through	their	costumed	exteriors	and	selling	us	their	characters	on	the	screen	as	well	.	i	especially	enjoyed	bonham	carter's	performance	,	who	i	believed	to	be	the	most	developed	character	in	the	entire	film	(	human	or	ape	)	and	tim	roth's	bad	guy	,	who	chewed	up	scenery	and	oozed	evil	in	every	scene	in	which	he	took	part	.	plot	wise	,	i	liked	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	the	whole	build	up	once	wahlberg	got	into	the	village	,	the	escape	and	most	of	the	fight	scenes	,	but	once	things	got	out	into	the	deserted	area	(	and	the	final	battle	sequence	)	,	i	kinda	lost	a	bit	of	my	interest	.	i	was	much	more	intrigued	by	the	interactions	between	the	characters	and	the	whole	idea	of	"	human	beings	as	animals	"	then	i	was	about	the	end	battle	sequence	,	which	just	seemed	a	bit	too	typical	for	this	kind	of	film	.	i	also	hated	the	"	kid	"	character	who	just	got	on	my	nerves	and	didn't	really	care	for	the	way	that	the	battle	sequence	was	resolved	(	i	won't	ruin	it	here	but	c'mon	guys	.	.	.	you	coulda	thought	of	something	a	little	more	plausible	than	that	,	no	?	)	.	but	the	thing	that	held	this	movie	back	more	than	anything	else	was	its	lead	character	,	his	cold	demeanor	and	the	zero	chemistry	that	he	shared	with	either	one	of	his	inter	species	love	interests	.	this	dude	didn't	seem	to	give	a	rat's	ass	about	anyone	but	himself	and	i	ultimately	didn't	really	care	about	what	happened	to	him	either	.	now	i'm	not	sure	if	this	was	the	fault	of	the	actor	or	the	script	,	but	the	film	suffered	because	of	it	.	visually	,	the	movie	was	also	nice	to	look	at	(	especially	the	apes	!	)	,	but	i	definitely	expected	greater	coolness	from	tim	burton	.	the	"	surprise	ending	"	that	highlighted	the	original	planet	of	the	apes	film	back	in	1968	,	felt	a	little	tacked	on	here	,	and	despite	being	interesting	,	didn't	really	make	all	that	much	sense	to	me	(	unless	you	look	at	it	from	a	sequel	point	of	view	)	.	so	overall	,	i	loved	the	whole	"	feel	"	of	the	planet	,	the	apes	that	ruled	it	,	the	manner	in	which	they	treated	the	humans	,	screamed	,	shouted	and	reverted	the	entire	evolution	chain	,	but	didn't	appreciate	the	film's	lack	of	human	character	development	(	why	was	kris	kristofferson	even	in	this	movie	?	)	and	the	fact	that	its	lead	male	and	female	humans	were	just	plain	boring	.	but	i	would	still	recommend	this	film	as	a	fun	,	summer	movie	with	laughs	,	creepiness	and	a	really	cool	premise	.	ps	:	for	anyone	who	has	seen	the	original	,	i	cannot	believe	that	they	didn't	at	least	bring	back	the	scene	in	which	the	lead	human	character	(	in	this	case	,	mark	wahlberg	)	goes	nuts	at	the	world	in	which	he's	suddenly	been	thrust	(	"	this	is	a	mad	house	!	"	type	of	thing	)	.	the	guy	in	this	film	barely	seems	to	be	"	put	off	"	by	the	fact	that	he's	surrounded	by	apes	who	can	speak	english	!	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	the	arrival	(	8	10	)	battlefield	earth	(	7	10	)	godzilla	(	4	10	)	instinct	(	6	10	)	mission	to	mars	(	3	10	)	pitch	black	(	7	10	)	(	1968	)	planet	of	the	apes	(	9	10	)	sleepy	hollow	(	8	10	)
pos	in	roger	michell's	romantic	comedy	notting	hill	,	william	thacker	(	hugh	grant	)	leads	a	rather	dreary	life	maintaining	his	flagging	travel	bookshop	in	the	quaint	section	of	london	which	lends	it's	name	to	the	film's	title	.	one	day	,	american	movie	superstar	anna	scott	(	julia	roberts	)	walks	in	to	purchase	a	book	on	turkey	.	quickly	enamored	of	each	other	,	the	two	embark	upon	an	on	again	,	off	again	love	affair	replete	with	romance	,	humor	,	and	the	occasional	lump	in	the	throat	.	the	film	opens	with	a	non	verbal	cue	to	anna's	stardom	as	the	title	credits	appear	over	a	montage	of	slow	motion	sequences	featuring	the	actress's	appearances	in	films	and	at	premieres	coming	out	of	limousines	,	walking	the	red	carpets	and	such	.	without	words	,	this	sequence	gives	us	a	background	to	her	character	.	following	,	however	,	is	a	set	up	narration	by	william	indicating	what	he	does	and	where	he	lives	.	i	don't	know	why	the	filmmakers	chose	to	go	with	a	narration	which	tells	us	nothing	we	couldn't	have	figured	out	by	watching	the	first	ten	minutes	of	film	,	and	which	never	resurfaces	after	the	movie's	beginning	,	but	there	it	is	.	if	there	were	ever	a	clear	case	for	"	less	is	more	,	"	this	would	be	it	.	the	film	is	told	nearly	first	person	from	william's	point	of	view	,	as	he	is	in	every	scene	.	by	nature	of	this	arrangement	,	we	get	a	very	definite	sense	of	what	he	is	all	about	,	and	his	nice	guy	personality	wins	us	over	easily	.	in	fact	,	much	of	notting	hill's	strength	lies	in	the	great	dialog	written	for	this	character	by	richard	curtis	.	a	scene	where	william	is	still	in	shock	over	the	fact	that	he's	even	talking	to	a	silver	screen	goddess	is	made	golden	by	the	way	bumbles	through	his	attempt	to	offer	her	some	honey	soaked	apricots	from	his	refrigerator	.	or	take	an	instance	where	anna	kisses	william	and	asks	him	never	to	tell	anyone	for	fear	of	the	incident	hurting	her	image	.	william	assures	her	he	wouldn't	say	a	word	,	then	adds	,	"	well	,	i'll	probably	tell	myself	now	and	then	,	but	i'd	never	believe	it	.	"	great	stuff	.	the	downside	to	spending	so	much	time	with	william	is	that	we	don't	get	to	see	enough	of	anna	to	make	their	relationship	whole	and	plausible	.	we're	constantly	exposed	to	william's	thoughts	,	feelings	,	actions	and	desires	,	but	don't	actually	get	the	sense	of	how	much	anna	really	feels	for	him	.	there	are	a	couple	of	instances	where	she	declares	her	obvious	interest	,	but	they	nearly	come	out	of	nowhere	due	to	the	fact	that	we're	not	sure	what	she's	been	thinking	all	the	times	in	between	.	this	,	combined	with	the	sheer	iniquity	of	screen	time	between	the	two	,	makes	this	hugh	grant's	film	hands	down	.	he	gets	the	great	scenes	(	look	for	one	in	which	he	has	to	portray	an	interviewer	from	horse	and	hound	magazine	in	order	to	speak	with	anna	)	,	the	great	lines	,	and	gives	an	overall	wonderful	performance	.	julia	roberts	fans	will	probably	be	disappointed	by	the	actress's	top	billing	and	subsequent	lack	of	involvement	in	the	film	(	ala	sandra	bullock	in	a	time	to	kill	)	along	with	her	detached	performance	which	is	only	worsened	by	her	character's	unpredictable	behavior	.	anna	doesn't	get	a	lot	of	our	compassion	.	this	romantic	comedy	leans	a	little	more	toward	the	comedy	than	the	romance	,	much	of	it	supplied	by	grant	himself	,	but	with	considerable	help	from	the	supporting	cast	.	most	notable	is	rhys	ifans	as	spike	,	william's	eccentric	roommate	,	who	is	in	the	film	for	no	other	purpose	than	to	make	us	laugh	.	hugh	bonneville	,	emma	chambers	,	james	dreyfus	,	and	gina	mckee	bring	up	the	guard	as	william's	friends	and	family	,	particularly	shining	in	a	scene	where	william	brings	anna	to	his	sister's	birthday	dinner	,	and	we	get	to	see	how	these	common	folks	react	to	the	presence	of	a	movie	star	in	their	midst	.	it's	a	scene	most	of	us	will	probably	think	would	play	out	in	our	own	living	rooms	were	we	faced	with	a	similar	situation	.	roger	michell's	use	of	visuals	doesn't	sweep	us	off	our	feet	,	but	does	give	us	more	than	your	typical	movie	of	this	type	.	for	example	,	there	are	a	couple	of	instances	in	this	film	where	large	amounts	of	time	pass	.	whereas	some	films	are	content	to	simply	put	in	a	caption	saying	"	eight	months	later	,	"	michell	presents	us	with	more	interesting	cues	,	such	as	william's	walk	though	his	neighborhood	while	the	seasons	change	around	him	.	another	memorable	shot	occurs	in	a	park	where	the	camera	is	lifted	from	ground	level	to	a	couple	of	hundred	feet	in	the	air	.	we're	generally	used	to	scenes	where	our	point	of	view	is	lifted	from	the	earth	to	treetop	level	or	so	,	but	in	this	case	,	the	camera	just	keeps	going	up	and	up	until	we	have	a	bird's	eye	view	of	the	ground	below	.	music	is	used	rather	glaringly	as	an	enhancement	to	many	of	the	film's	scenes	,	and	some	of	this	might	have	been	better	toned	down	,	but	in	other	areas	it	works	to	full	effect	.	it's	kind	of	a	mixed	bag	,	but	still	fares	better	than	many	of	today's	lighthearted	movies	which	are	so	influenced	by	the	mtv	fare	that	the	film	becomes	one	long	music	video	.	at	least	this	film	has	some	pretty	good	music	that	for	the	most	part	remains	relevant	and	appropriate	.	notting	hill's	grant	and	roberts	will	not	go	down	in	history	as	one	of	the	all	time	greatest	film	pairings	,	but	the	chemistry	is	decent	and	the	comedic	aspects	of	the	movie	more	than	make	up	for	it	.	for	a	couple	of	hours	,	you	should	expect	to	laugh	more	than	cry	,	and	that's	not	so	bad	,	now	is	it	?
pos	set	in	spain	,	vengo	is	a	standard	mob	story	with	a	highly	artistic	twist	.	there	isn't	much	of	a	plot	,	and	what	there	is	isn't	that	important	.	it	is	simply	a	frame	within	which	to	explore	the	culture	of	some	vibrant	spanish	gypsies	.	in	fact	,	the	actual	"	talkie	"	scenes	almost	become	too	much	of	a	distraction	from	the	rich	portrayal	of	the	community	.	in	vengo	,	there	are	two	warring	families	whom	you	can't	tell	apart	until	they	are	yelling	at	each	other	.	you	connect	with	cacao	(	antonio	canales	)	because	he	is	followed	throughout	the	film	.	he	is	charismatic	,	even	in	arrogance	.	everyone	loves	and	obeys	him	,	somewhat	at	a	distance	,	as	his	daughter	recently	died	.	he	is	the	guardian	of	his	nephew	because	his	brother	shot	a	member	of	the	caravacas	family	,	which	wants	blood	for	blood	,	like	any	godfather	movie	,	while	cacao	tries	his	best	to	make	peace	.	cacao	spends	time	with	his	family	,	throwing	parties	with	hired	bands	,	making	sure	his	retarded	nephew	has	a	good	time	.	in	between	are	moments	with	those	in	charge	of	the	caravacas	family	,	building	a	slow	,	poignant	path	to	revenge	.	every	once	in	a	while	a	few	comedic	notes	are	thrown	in	as	the	older	women	of	the	village	clean	up	after	the	youngsters	.	luckily	the	plot	development	is	repetitively	simple	so	that	all	of	the	characters	have	room	to	be	sympathetic	.	there	isn't	an	annoying	"	good	and	evil	"	perspective	placed	on	the	viewer	.	this	film	is	not	about	picking	sides	in	an	argument	or	making	morality	calls	.	it's	simply	an	age	old	dilemma	of	how	one	family	deals	with	loss	and	another	family	who	must	grudgingly	accept	responsibility	for	it	.	but	the	music	and	dancing	are	the	key	roles	in	vengo	.	between	the	variety	shown	and	the	pride	taken	in	skill	and	passing	down	of	tradition	,	it's	easy	to	become	mesmerized	with	the	culture	.	a	nice	added	touch	is	that	men	take	as	much	pride	as	women	in	being	able	to	evoke	physical	grace	.	and	though	the	dancing	does	have	a	sexually	alluring	quality	,	it	is	not	the	reason	for	participation	.	it	can	be	difficult	to	grasp	the	lyrics	because	they	are	only	partially	subtitled	.	this	is	unfortunate	for	outsiders	who	know	little	about	gypsy	life	because	it's	impossible	to	guess	at	the	inspiration	for	such	emoting	performances	.	at	least	the	emotional	expression	of	the	singers	provides	an	easily	sympathetic	intensity	that	evokes	an	understanding	about	how	attached	the	music	is	to	tradition	.	you	can	assume	that	for	every	major	change	in	their	culture	,	there	is	a	song	to	go	with	it	that	is	passed	down	from	one	generation	to	the	next	.	gatlif	has	managed	to	utilize	an	old	,	almost	boring	,	plot	structure	to	respectfully	portray	a	culture	much	overlooked	.	he	obviously	loved	his	subject	and	the	way	in	which	it	was	filmed	provides	a	contagious	appreciation	for	a	people	often	misunderstood	.
pos	the	deep	end	(	2001	)	tilda	swinton	,	goran	visnjic	,	jonathan	tucker	,	peter	donat	,	josh	lucas	,	raymond	j	.	barry	,	tamara	hope	,	jordon	dorrance	.	cinematography	by	giles	nuttgens	.	music	by	peter	nashel	.	screenplay	by	scott	mcgehee	and	david	siegel	,	based	on	the	novel	"	the	blank	wall	"	by	elisabeth	sanxay	holding	.	directed	by	mcgehee	and	siegel	.	99	minutes	.	rated	r	,	4	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	"	the	deep	end	"	uses	a	color	palette	of	rich	earth	tones	surrounded	by	a	vast	array	of	blues	.	alluring	,	attractive	blues	,	but	also	icy	and	foreboding	.	after	taking	in	their	beauty	,	the	eye	seeks	out	the	reassuring	browns	and	greens	,	like	a	tired	swimmer	searching	for	the	safety	of	land	.	the	production	works	that	way	as	well	it	pulls	you	in	initially	as	a	crisp	,	thoroughly	modern	thriller	,	with	clipped	exchanges	between	defiantly	non	communicative	characters	.	but	the	real	draw	of	the	film	is	the	submerged	humanity	of	two	key	players	as	"	the	deep	end	"	gradually	reveals	the	melodramatic	core	beneath	its	ironic	candy	coating	.	spoiler	alert	:	the	following	reveals	the	basic	storyline	.	i	believe	the	plot	points	are	incidental	,	because	the	real	rewards	come	in	exploring	the	mindset	of	the	main	characters	,	but	still	,	you	should	proceed	at	your	own	risk	.	with	her	husband	tom	,	a	naval	officer	,	often	away	at	sea	,	margaret	hall	(	tilda	swinton	)	holds	down	the	fort	,	taking	care	of	the	children	,	beau	(	jonathan	tucker	)	,	paige	(	tamara	hope	)	,	and	dylan	(	jordon	dorrance	)	,	while	her	father	in	law	jack	(	peter	donat	)	hovers	in	the	background	,	always	watching	.	the	story	opens	with	margaret	leaving	the	family	home	in	lake	tahoe	to	storm	a	male	strip	club	in	reno	.	it	seems	that	beau	,	her	eldest	,	is	having	an	affair	with	darby	reese	(	josh	lucas	)	,	a	disreputable	sort	12	years	his	senior	.	margaret	demands	that	darby	leave	her	son	alone	,	only	to	have	the	man	smirk	at	her	and	announce	he'll	be	glad	to	steer	clear	of	beau	for	5000	.	back	at	home	,	she	tries	to	talk	about	it	all	with	her	son	,	but	the	kid	won't	even	confirm	that	he's	gay	,	let	alone	discuss	the	issues	she	has	with	his	boyfriend	.	he	does	,	however	,	get	attentive	when	she	reveals	darby's	5	,	000	offer	,	even	as	he	maintains	his	sullen	demeanor	.	late	in	the	evening	,	darby	shows	up	outside	,	tossing	pebbles	at	beau's	window	like	a	schoolchild	.	the	two	meet	by	the	water	at	the	boathouse	,	where	something	important	happens	.	i	won't	reveal	what	;	suffice	to	say	we	become	aware	of	a	significant	fact	that	margaret	does	not	.	all	of	this	happens	in	the	first	few	minutes	of	the	movie	,	by	the	way	.	within	a	day	or	so	,	margaret's	life	becomes	even	more	complicated	when	a	suave	man	named	alec	goran	visnjic	)	turns	up	with	an	explicit	videotape	documenting	the	sex	life	of	beau	and	darby	.	he	and	his	associate	are	willing	to	destroy	the	tape	,	once	margaret	coughs	up	50	,	000	.
pos	first	films	are	usually	clumsy	,	experimental	,	and	uneven	.	but	43	year	old	erick	zonca	has	turned	the	tables	with	his	first	film	,	the	dreamlife	of	angels	.	like	many	french	films	,	the	dreamlife	of	angels	is	slow	paced	,	but	the	surplus	of	emotion	makes	up	for	the	lack	of	plot	.	the	film	features	two	outstanding	performances	from	elodie	bouchez	and	natacha	regnier	,	who	shared	the	best	actress	award	at	last	year's	cannes	film	festival	,	while	peter	mullan	took	home	best	actor	for	my	name	is	joe	,	a	similar	emotional	experience	.	the	first	character	we	meet	in	the	dreamlife	of	angels	is	isa	(	elodie	bouchez	)	,	an	impoverished	drifter	with	a	past	we	never	learn	much	about	.	she	wanders	into	a	french	city	,	selling	homemade	postcards	which	she	says	are	for	the	poor	.	a	man	whom	she	meets	in	a	cafe	lets	her	have	a	sewing	job	in	his	factory	.	in	the	factory	,	she	meets	marie	(	natacha	regnier	)	,	a	shy	woman	given	to	fits	of	rage	.	marie	agrees	to	let	isa	stay	at	her	flat	,	which	she	is	taking	care	of	for	a	woman	who	was	in	a	car	crash	with	her	young	daughter	.	isa	and	marie	become	friends	,	and	during	a	night	on	the	town	,	they	meet	charly	(	patrick	mercado	)	and	fredo	(	jo	prestia	)	,	a	couple	of	bouncers	from	a	nearby	nightclub	.	charly	and	marie	are	involved	until	she	meets	chris	(	gregoire	colin	)	,	a	rich	playboy	who	owns	the	club	.	it	is	obvious	that	marie	is	with	the	wrong	man	,	and	it	seems	to	be	tearing	her	apart	,	and	slowly	she	is	suffering	a	nervous	breakdown	.	meanwhile	,	isa	has	begun	to	read	the	personal	diary	of	the	girl	who	was	in	the	car	crash	,	and	she	begins	to	visit	the	child	in	the	hospital	,	day	after	day	.	the	dreamlife	of	angels	doesn't	offer	much	in	the	way	of	a	plot	,	and	it	takes	quite	a	while	to	get	going	,	but	soon	it's	not	hard	to	see	that	the	film	is	a	study	of	two	characters	,	and	since	they	are	portrayed	so	realistically	,	it's	hard	not	to	feel	emotionally	drained	after	watching	the	film	.	the	filmmaking	is	sometimes	raw	,	and	sometimes	graceful	,	depending	on	the	mood	of	the	scene	.	erick	zonca	is	amazingly	gifted	,	because	it	takes	many	filmmakers	a	few	films	to	create	such	a	sense	of	powerful	immediacy	.	the	dreamlife	of	angels	is	a	superb	,	riveting	film	,	and	is	sure	to	be	among	the	best	first	films	of	the	year	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	"	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	if	spike	lee	weren't	so	self	absorbed	,	he	would	probably	be	one	of	the	best	filmmakers	around	today	.	instead	,	he	gets	caught	up	in	camera	tricks	,	mood	lighting	,	and	abrupt	editing	in	an	apparent	attempt	to	keep	any	audience	so	confused	trying	to	figure	out	what	he	is	doing	that	they	cannot	become	emotionally	involved	in	his	films	.	he	got	game	,	the	latest	spike	lee	joint	features	nbaer	ray	allen	as	jesus	shuttlesworth	,	the	top	high	school	basketball	player	in	the	country	.	as	he	is	pondering	his	future	after	graduation	,	he	is	surrounded	by	friends	and	family	trying	to	help	him	with	his	decision	without	really	looking	out	for	his	own	best	interest	.	among	those	trying	to	help	is	his	father	,	jake	,	played	by	denzel	washington	,	who	has	been	temporarily	released	from	the	state	penitentiary	under	orders	to	get	jesus	to	sign	with	the	governor's	alma	mater	.	unlike	most	movies	that	star	pro	athletes	,	he	got	game	does	not	fail	because	of	allen's	acting	shortcomings	.	he	,	and	the	other	pro	basketball	players	featured	in	the	film	,	are	surprisingly	solid	.	instead	,	the	film	comes	up	short	primarily	because	lee	does	not	allow	the	audience	to	get	involved	with	the	characters	until	the	last	half	hour	of	the	film	.	lee's	obsession	with	technical	gadgetry	in	this	film	represents	a	disturbing	trend	in	his	work	.	where	in	earlier	films	like	do	the	right	thing	and	malcolm	x	,	his	unconventional	camera	moves	and	effects	only	seemed	to	come	in	when	we	least	expected	them	to	heighten	the	emotion	,	in	more	recent	films	like	clockers	and	he	got	game	,	lee's	effects	serve	to	keep	us	at	arms	length	.	despite	this	apparent	formalism	through	the	majority	of	the	film	,	he	got	game	still	contains	a	strong	emotional	power	near	the	climax	,	when	lee	finally	lets	up	on	the	effects	.	spike	lee	is	definitely	a	talented	filmmaker	,	but	if	his	next	project	is	going	to	continue	this	trend	toward	formalism	,	i	hope	it's	a	music	video	.
pos	the	laserman	:	somehow	the	title	of	writer	director	producer	peter	wang's	film	conjures	up	images	of	superheroes	,	like	ultraman	and	spiderman	.	you	kind	of	expect	an	adventure	flick	about	a	crime	fighter	who	can	shoot	laser	beams	from	his	fingertips	.	as	it	turns	out	,	the	laserman	_	is	_	about	crime	and	about	laser	beams	,	but	there	aren't	any	superheroes	.	instead	,	wang's	film	is	populated	by	a	group	of	refreshingly	off	beat	characters	living	in	the	ultimate	cultural	melting	pot	:	new	york	city	.	the	laserman	is	a	comic	brew	which	celebrates	ethnicity	,	eccentricity	,	and	electricity	.	the	film	tells	the	bizarre	story	of	arthur	weiss	(	marc	hayashi	)	,	a	chinese	american	laser	scientist	whose	life	becomes	incredibly	hectic	after	he	accidentally	kills	his	lab	assistant	in	an	experiment	.	he	loses	his	job	but	finds	work	with	a	mysterious	company	which	secretly	plans	to	use	laser	technology	to	commit	dastardly	deeds	.	arthur's	professional	life	is	cluttered	with	moral	dilemmas	.	his	personal	life	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	cluttered	with	colorful	friends	and	quirky	relatives	.	in	fact	,	arthur	is	by	far	the	blandest	character	in	the	film	,	despite	a	charismatic	performance	by	hayashi	(	the	san	francisco	based	actor	whose	films	include	chan	is	missing	and	the	karate	kid	ii	)	.	it's	the	auxiliary	characters	who	give	the	laserman	its	unique	spark	.	arthur's	not	so	typical	jewish	mother	,	ruth	,	for	example	,	is	convinced	that	a	chinese	soul	is	trapped	in	her	jewish	body	.	she	has	dyed	her	red	hair	black	,	she	takes	herbal	medicine	daily	,	and	she	is	perpetually	cooking	up	strange	delicacies	,	such	as	matzo	balls	in	soy	sauce	the	ultimate	fusion	of	jewish	and	chinese	cuisine	.	veteran	stage	actress	joan	copeland	takes	the	part	and	runs	with	it	,	almost	stealing	the	movie	in	the	process	.	she	plays	ruth	as	a	driven	woman	,	determined	to	overcome	her	genetic	heritage	by	immersing	herself	in	chinese	culture	.	arthur's	girlfriend	janet	(	maryann	urbano	)	is	a	kooky	free	spirit	who	would	rather	meditate	than	copulate	;	her	ultimate	goal	is	orgasm	through	zen	meditation	.	arthur's	best	friend	,	joey	(	tony	leung	)	,	is	a	small	time	thief	who	hustles	everything	from	microwave	ovens	to	machine	guns	.	joey	is	married	to	arthur's	jewish	sister	,	but	he	is	also	having	an	affair	with	a	chinese	immigrant	who	works	in	a	whore	house	.	arthur's	11	year	old	son	,	jimmy	,	played	by	the	amazingly	adorable	david	chan	,	is	horror	of	horrors	bad	at	math	!	he	finds	it	impossible	to	meet	his	father's	lofty	expectations	.	the	various	people	in	arthur's	life	come	together	to	form	a	rich	tapestry	of	humanity	.	like	wang's	earlier	film	,	a	great	wall	(	about	a	san	francisco	family	visiting	relatives	in	china	)	,	the	laserman	revolves	around	cultural	differences	.	every	character	in	the	film	is	,	in	some	way	or	another	,	trying	to	find	his	identity	struggling	to	negotiate	a	balance	between	his	native	culture	and	the	american	way	.	the	movie	also	offers	a	provocative	look	at	technology	.	wang	appears	in	the	movie	as	lieutenant	lu	,	a	detective	who	is	fed	up	with	machines	,	even	though	he	relies	on	them	to	do	his	job	.	the	film	views	technology	with	a	wary	eye	,	acknowledging	its	necessity	while	at	the	same	time	realizing	its	potential	dangers	.	wang	raises	the	time	honored	question	of	whether	scientists	should	be	held	responsible	for	their	inventions	.	was	einstein	responsible	for	the	a	bomb	?	is	arthur	weiss	responsible	for	his	lasers	?	the	movie	pits	spirituality	against	technology	,	man	against	machine	,	and	the	result	is	a	draw	.	according	to	the	film	,	technology	has	its	place	,	but	we	must	employ	it	with	great	forethought	and	caution	.	ironically	,	by	its	very	nature	,	the	laserman	is	a	triumph	of	technology	the	technology	of	filmmaking	.	wang's	direction	is	exquisite	,	especially	during	the	tense	finale	in	which	the	director	frantically	cross	cuts	between	the	various	subplots	,	perhaps	in	homage	to	d	.	w	.	griffith	.	cinematographer	ernest	dickerson	,	who	has	worked	on	all	of	spike	lee's	films	,	gives	the	laserman	a	distinctive	,	artistic	look	.	mason	daring's	score	,	which	includes	a	send	up	of	bach	,	is	right	on	target	.	the	laserman	is	an	ambitious	endeavor	,	which	is	to	be	applauded	,	but	it's	sometimes	ambitious	to	a	fault	.	wang	serves	up	so	many	slices	of	life	in	the	film	that	it's	hard	to	digest	them	all	.	for	instance	,	one	character	(	arthur's	sister	)	has	negligible	screen	time	,	and	consequently	we	just	don't	care	about	her	marital	problems	.	in	weaving	his	web	,	wang	has	included	a	few	too	many	strands	.	overall	,	however	,	the	laserman	is	a	charmingly	eclectic	concoction	.	on	the	surface	,	the	film	is	a	light	and	bouncy	comedy	thriller	,	overflowing	with	whimsical	humor	and	visual	style	.	the	heavier	issues	emerge	only	when	you	take	a	deeper	look	at	the	film	.	you	can	ponder	the	moral	questions	or	you	can	just	sit	back	and	enjoy	the	absurdity	of	life	in	china	town	.
pos	moviereviews	.	org	has	been	asked	to	start	collecting	a	list	of	readers	in	the	washington	,	dc	area	who	would	be	interested	in	attending	advanced	promotional	screenings	of	major	motion	pictures	for	free	.	if	this	interests	you	,	please	e	mail	moviereviews	.	org	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	passes	moviereviews	.	org	"	passes	moviereviews	.	org	a	with	your	name	and	zip	code	(	to	verify	that	you	are	in	the	washington	,	dc	area	)	.	then	check	back	at	moviereviews	.	org	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	moviereviews	.	org	"	http	:	www	.	moviereviews	.	org	a	)	as	often	as	you	like	to	see	what	screenings	you	could	be	eligible	to	attend	!	starting	on	christmas	eve	you	can	hear	mac	verstandig's	movie	reviews	on	the	radio	in	portland	,	maine	once	a	week	in	addition	to	reading	them	on	moviereviews	.	org	.	details	on	time	and	dial	placement	still	to	come	.	stay	tuned	!	a	copy	of	this	review	can	be	found	at	a	href	"	http	:	moviereviews	.	org	deuce	_	bigalow	_	male	_	gigolo	.	htm	"	http	:	moviereviews	.	org	deuce	_	bigalow	_	male	_	gigolo	.	htm	a	deuce	bigalow	male	gigolo	is	a	very	pointed	film	that	doesn't	waste	any	time	screwing	around	from	the	beginning	by	continuously	firing	shots	at	the	handicapped	,	blind	,	tall	,	obese	and	tourette's	syndrome	inflicted	,	all	to	give	the	audience	the	pleasure	they	seek	:	morally	reprehensible	yet	hilarious	sexual	humor	.	the	production	is	also	big	where	it	counts	:	in	the	heart	.	this	gigolo	is	well	worth	the	8	price	of	entry	.	deuce	bigalow	(	rob	schneider	)	has	mastered	his	trait	to	a	point	where	he	swims	with	the	fishes	literally	.	a	knowledgeable	yet	sexually	deprived	fish	tank	cleaner	,	the	highlight	of	deuce's	day	is	getting	a	sales	girl	to	bend	far	enough	over	a	water	filled	tank	that	her	white	shirt	becomes	transparent	.	but	he	soon	learns	that	antoine	laconte's	fish	has	developed	a	rare	gill	disorder	.	aside	from	being	one	of	deuce's	clients	,	antoine	is	a	male	whore	preparing	to	leave	the	country	on	business	.	soon	the	title	character	is	fish	sitting	in	a	mansion	and	,	predictably	enough	,	finds	himself	having	destroyed	the	6000	mini	aquarium	that	he	is	supposed	to	be	looking	after	.	the	race	is	on	for	him	to	buy	a	new	one	before	antoine	returns	home	,	and	there	is	only	one	way	he	is	going	to	come	up	with	that	much	money	that	quickly	:	the	same	way	antoine	does	.	rob	schneider	is	a	member	of	the	saturday	night	live	(	snl	)	class	that	produced	stars	like	adam	sandler	(	who	produced	this	movie	)	,	chris	farley	,	david	spade	,	norm	macdonald	(	who	has	a	cameo	)	and	mike	myers	.	of	the	group	,	schneider	is	most	similar	to	sandler	with	his	ability	to	play	an	average	(	or	below	average	for	that	matter	)	joe	who	happens	to	be	in	the	right	(	or	wrong	)	place	at	the	right	(	or	wrong	)	time	.	schneider	also	exhibits	a	sandler	sized	heart	here	when	he	falls	in	love	with	a	"	client	"	named	kate	(	arija	bareikis	)	.	but	schneider	is	yet	to	peak	,	and	if	this	movie	isn't	a	hit	you	may	never	hear	his	name	again	,	let	alone	with	such	prestigious	company	as	the	above	.	so	,	just	how	far	does	this	movie	push	the	envelope	sexually	?	well	,	it	makes	the	old	snl	skit	"	fred	gervan	:	male	prostitute	"	seem	tame	and	this	summer's	hit	film	american	pie	seem	like	deep	throat	(	not	the	nixon	informer	)	.	a	police	officer	pulls	down	his	pants	numerous	times	and	complains	about	his	skinny	member	but	no	genitalia	is	ever	shown	and	a	pornographic	film	appears	on	television	but	only	the	sound	is	indicting	.	deuce's	adventures	are	relatively	innocuous	beyond	some	spanking	and	condom	use	,	but	you	shouldn't	forget	that	this	is	a	movie	about	a	gigolo	.	deuce	bigalow	male	gigolo	will	likely	make	a	tidy	profit	from	teens	seeking	its	services	on	weekend	nights	.	the	movie	needn't	worry	about	getting	rushed	out	of	theatres	as	it	will	quickly	go	in	video	stores	where	a	significant	number	of	people	will	probably	jerk	it	off	the	shelf	and	take	it	home	for	hours	of	private	entertainment	.	running	at	close	to	two	hours	,	the	film	isn't	too	long	to	cause	pain	nor	too	short	to	not	get	the	job	done	.
pos	if	youve	been	paying	attention	to	the	media	frenzy	that	is	the	blair	witch	project	,	and	who	hasnt	,	you	know	the	story	and	you	know	its	pure	dramatization	.	needless	to	say	,	though	,	watching	what	has	been	committed	to	tape	,	one	gets	the	undeniable	impression	the	events	are	veritable	:	three	students	take	hand	helds	into	the	woods	,	filming	a	school	project	about	the	myth	of	a	local	witch	,	and	get	lost	.	no	biggie	,	as	the	put	upon	leader	of	their	crew	,	heather	,	states	rationally	,	"	its	hard	to	get	lost	in	america	,	and	its	harder	to	stay	lost	.	"	what	starts	out	fun	and	games	,	so	to	speak	,	amongst	friends	(	correct	"	gilligans	island	"	vernacular	;	heathers	mishap	with	a	pair	of	wet	shoes	)	quickly	becomes	something	more	serious	.	rations	dwindle	,	their	only	map	disappears	,	and	camaraderie	gradually	disintegrates	into	bickering	,	nicotine	jonesing	and	total	disorientation	.	they	set	up	camp	,	several	times	too	often	,	and	wake	up	to	vague	but	ominous	noises	just	in	the	distance	.	and	,	thats	the	ingenious	thing	of	the	film	:	the	heard	,	yet	unseen	,	proves	to	be	a	lot	more	terrifying	.	because	,	try	as	you	may	to	put	whats	going	on	into	perspective	(	twigs	snap	.	.	probably	a	small	animal	)	,	you	still	dont	know	for	certain	.	and	,	because	there	is	little	light	for	assistance	,	you	can	either	stay	in	one	place	very	quietly	and	pray	,	or	make	a	run	for	it	in	the	pitch	black	and	take	your	chances	.	during	heathers	emotionally	draining	private	confessional	for	the	camera	,	she	sums	this	experience	up	quite	nicely	:	"	im	afraid	to	close	my	eyes	,	and	im	afraid	to	open	them	.	"	whats	also	great	about	the	film	is	its	budget	.	the	point	of	view	footage	is	antsy	,	because	the	actors	get	antsy	and	dont	know	exactly	where	to	look	or	where	theyre	going	in	the	heat	of	apparent	pursuit	.	i	think	blair	witch	will	play	even	better	on	the	small	screen	,	because	of	its	aspect	ratio	and	the	likelihood	of	a	more	quiet	environment	;	occasionally	,	i	was	unable	to	hear	what	the	actors	were	hearing	due	to	an	audience	loud	with	throat	clearing	and	squeaky	seats	,	and	it	bugged	me	immensely	.	there	is	no	special	effects	work	,	no	computer	generated	anything	,	and	mostly	no	gory	close	ups	(	save	for	a	set	of	teeth	)	,	which	gives	the	film	a	great	deal	of	authenticity	.	and	,	what	i	like	most	is	the	eerie	conclusion	;	that	last	scene	,	in	an	abandoned	,	dilapidated	house	,	is	nerve	wracking	and	more	than	a	little	disturbing	.	the	collective	opinion	circulating	the	net	at	present	is	that	this	scene	is	too	quick	,	and	the	film	ends	rather	abruptly	.	which	is	true	,	but	thats	the	point	.	it	is	heathers	fear	and	despondence	,	come	to	the	breaking	point	.	after	being	in	the	woods	for	so	long	,	and	not	knowing	what	would	ultimately	happen	to	them	at	any	given	moment	whether	she	,	or	her	friends	,	would	make	it	she	and	mike	arrive	at	one	last	spot	,	maze	like	and	frustrating	,	and	in	an	instant	its	all	over	.	you	leave	with	questions	,	and	want	to	talk	about	what	youve	just	witnessed	with	as	many	people	as	you	can	get	it	in	a	room	.	movies	that	can	put	you	there	have	done	their	job	;	real	,	or	fake	(	forget	the	whole	is	it	a	sham	or	not	business	,	already	)	.	that	final	image	you	know	the	one	is	cryptic	and	haunting	.	i	wanted	more	scenes	at	night	,	with	not	_	clearer	_	sounds	,	but	i	dont	know	,	more	of	them	.	even	greater	a	building	of	exhaustion	and	fear	.	the	film	does	not	quite	go	the	psychological	distance	,	but	its	close	.	also	,	the	arguing	goes	on	a	little	much	for	my	taste	(	one	fight	,	over	the	whereabouts	of	the	map	,	turns	especially	shrill	)	,	though	such	carrying	on	is	understand	able	,	circumstances	considered	.	"	scary	as	hell	"	no	.	creepy	,	yes	.	effective	,	brilliantly	conceived	and	executed	,	and	performed	with	all	the	conviction	in	the	world	so	that	even	if	we	doubt	what	were	seeing	is	real	,	suspension	of	disbelief	is	never	an	issue	:	_	oh	yeah	_	.	best	line	:	90	improv	equals	no	cleverly	constructed	dialogue	;	i	like	the	reaction	heather	has	to	a	shot	of	scotch	(	i	hate	it	,	too	)	.
pos	eight	years	after	its	release	,	disney	has	decided	to	re	release	the	little	mermaid	theatrically	for	17	days	(	and	17	long	nights	)	only	.	coincidentally	,	it	was	reintroduced	to	theaters	the	same	day	fox's	animated	film	anastasia	was	released	.	you	know	disney	,	they	can't	deal	with	the	threat	of	any	other	studio	getting	even	a	small	piece	of	the	crust	of	the	kiddie	entertainment	pie	,	so	when	someone	else	wants	to	make	a	little	money	,	they	counter	with	an	old	"	masterpiece	"	from	their	vault	and	,	you	know	what	,	i	went	to	see	this	1989	cartoon	rather	than	the	brand	new	one	from	fox	.	let	no	one	say	disney	is	losing	its	monopoly	on	the	market	.	they	still	have	hotels	on	boardwalk	_	and	_	park	place	.	believe	it	or	not	,	today	,	november	25	,	1997	,	at	5	:	05	p	.	m	.	,	i	saw	the	little	mermaid	for	the	first	time	.	it	took	me	a	few	years	to	get	over	an	aversion	to	this	movie	that	was	caused	seven	years	ago	,	when	i	stayed	with	one	of	my	mom's	friends	for	a	couple	weeks	.	they	had	a	young	child	who	listened	to	the	little	mermaid	soundtrack	constantly	and	,	over	that	two	week	period	,	i	heard	every	song	from	the	movie	probably	a	hundred	times	.	by	the	time	i	got	back	home	,	i	promised	myself	i'd	never	see	the	movie	.	but	promises	are	made	to	be	broken	,	especially	when	you're	looking	at	a	17	day	,	limited	engagement	.	damn	those	shrewd	disney	marketers	and	their	mind	games	.	the	little	mermaid	is	based	on	a	hans	christian	anderson	fairy	tale	,	but	it's	disney	ized	,	which	means	lots	of	talking	animals	and	bursting	into	song	.	it	also	means	the	heroine	is	a	total	babe	who	shows	off	cleavage	from	a	seashell	bra	at	all	times	.	i	never	wanted	so	much	to	be	a	pair	of	shells	.	.	.	the	heroine	,	of	course	,	is	ariel	(	voice	of	jodi	benson	)	,	a	16	year	old	mermaid	who	is	going	through	that	rebellious	phase	.	she	skips	her	concert	to	explore	a	wrecked	ship	and	hang	out	with	a	seagull	that	talks	like	buddy	hackett	,	who	tries	to	orient	her	to	the	mysterious	world	of	humans	.	she's	also	dealing	with	feelings	she	hasn't	had	before	which	comes	when	you	get	scales	in	places	you	didn't	use	to	have	them	about	a	handsome	prince	(	no	disney	movie	would	be	complete	without	one	)	.	her	father	,	king	triton	of	the	merpeople	,	strictly	forbids	such	lusting	after	the	ways	of	the	"	savage	"	humans	,	in	a	condemnation	that	reads	as	a	not	so	subtle	analogy	about	old	fashioned	parents	who	forbid	interracial	dating	.	what's	a	king	to	do	,	though	?	the	girl's	in	love	and	even	total	destruction	of	her	little	shrine	to	the	human	world	doesn't	deter	her	.	ariel	saves	the	prince's	life	when	a	hurricane	rises	up	,	and	just	has	to	meet	him	.	she	makes	a	deal	with	ursula	,	the	sea	witch	(	voice	of	pat	carroll	)	.	you	know	she's	evil	because	she	has	a	huge	potbelly	and	one	of	the	worst	asses	in	cartoon	history	.	she	also	has	octopus	tentacles	for	feet	(	something	those	dr	.	scholl's	corn	pads	will	not	fix	)	and	offers	to	help	ariel	out	.	she'll	make	her	a	human	for	three	days	if	ariel	will	give	up	her	pretty	voice	;	ariel	has	three	days	to	make	that	prince	kiss	her	,	or	else	she	becomes	a	slave	to	the	witch	forever	.	and	if	she	pricks	her	finger	on	a	sewing	machine	or	eats	an	evil	apple	,	she'll	fall	asleep	forever	.	it's	a	simplistic	plot	,	yes	,	but	the	little	mermaid	was	a	revolution	in	the	disney	world	,	coming	after	such	lackluster	efforts	as	the	black	cauldron	and	oliver	and	company	.	it	ranks	as	one	of	the	best	disney	cartoons	,	certainly	since	the	'50s	.	all	the	elements	are	there	memorable	songs	like	"	under	the	sea	"	and	"	kiss	the	girl	,	"	cartoon	animals	like	sebastian	and	flounder	,	an	evil	villain	who	still	has	characterization	and	charm	,	and	a	fair	amount	of	humor	that	caters	to	adults	as	well	as	children	.	the	little	mermaid	is	worth	a	big	screen	ticket	in	1997	,	so	hurry	up	,	you	only	have	five	days	left	.
pos	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	max	messier	.	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c6be01e76e80952f8825695b0003bddf	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	c6be01e76e80952f8825695b0003bddf	?	opendocument	a	the	american	fascination	with	personal	surveillance	and	voyeurism	has	reached	a	new	and	strange	level	.	tv	shows	such	as	survivor	,	big	brother	and	movies	such	as	enemy	of	the	state	and	the	blair	witch	project	have	raised	the	bar	for	compulsive	interest	in	other	peoples'	lives	.	it	is	as	if	america	has	become	a	nation	of	stalkers	and	shut	ins	locked	away	behind	their	television	and	computer	screens	.	the	new	jaime	foxx	film	bait	is	a	prime	example	of	how	this	sadistic	,	cultural	phenomenon	has	been	constructed	into	mainstream	hollywood	fodder	for	the	masses	.	i	didn't	know	what	to	expect	of	bait	.	from	the	media	blitz	in	the	past	couple	weeks	,	the	movie	looked	like	a	weird	hybrid	of	blue	streak	,	enemy	of	the	state	,	and	hackers	without	angeline	jolie	(	dammit	!	)	.	the	story	follows	foxx	as	an	inept	thief	named	alvin	sanders	who	involuntarily	helps	federal	agents	track	down	an	ultra	cool	computer	hacker	doug	hutchison	(	that	asshole	guard	percy	wetmore	from	the	green	mile	)	who	has	robbed	the	u	.	s	.	gold	reserve	with	lackey	robert	pastorelli	of	42	million	dollars	.	the	lackey	takes	off	with	the	gold	,	buries	it	in	secret	place	,	and	ends	up	being	arrested	on	a	dwi	,	all	on	the	same	night	.	busy	guy	.	the	lackey	then	lands	in	the	same	cell	as	alvin	sanders	(	foxx	)	who	has	been	arrested	for	stealing	shrimp	i	mean	prawns	from	a	brooklyn	fish	plant	.	the	lackey	,	who	has	terrible	heart	problems	,	confides	in	alvin	to	tell	his	wife	of	a	secret	code	of	the	location	of	the	buried	gold	.	the	lackey	dies	during	an	interrogation	by	a	big	and	mean	federal	agent	played	by	david	morse	,	and	both	the	hacker	and	the	feds	are	left	with	no	leads	except	alvin	.	the	feds	then	secretly	plant	a	tracking	device	under	alvin's	jawbone	and	use	him	for	you	guessed	,	it	.	.	.	bait	to	lure	out	the	hacker	.	humorous	dialogue	,	uncomfortable	dramatic	moments	,	and	loud	car	chase	scenes	follow	.	bait	is	reminiscent	of	many	of	its	numerous	contemporaries	,	but	it	is	able	to	maintain	a	sense	of	direction	under	the	cool	hand	of	director	antoine	fuqua	.	known	mainly	for	music	videos	and	the	replacement	killers	,	fuqua	is	no	hype	williams	,	but	he	can	move	the	camera	like	malick	and	capture	action	scenes	like	peckinpah	.	foxx	is	always	a	surprise	to	watch	as	an	actor	,	because	he	can	come	off	as	a	chump	one	minute	and	a	serious	actor	the	next	.	morse	is	a	perfect	straight	man	to	foxx's	inane	attempts	to	return	to	respectability	.	but	the	most	interesting	character	is	hutchinson's	hacker	,	who	comes	across	as	faceless	while	holding	a	cold	control	over	nature	,	like	a	predator	stalking	his	prey	.	bait	is	a	solid	action	movie	despite	a	weird	pace	to	the	film	.	one	minute	foxx	is	joking	around	about	being	a	player	,	the	next	minute	he	is	committing	to	his	girl	and	a	new	baby	boy	.	the	movie	has	been	sold	to	public	as	an	"	action	comedy	"	but	in	reality	the	film	is	tinged	with	dark	moments	of	cold	blooded	murder	and	orwellian	themes	of	surveillance	and	control	.	in	other	words	,	this	ain't	no	big	momma's	house	.	director	:	antoine	fuqua	starring	:	jamie	foxx	,	david	morse	,	david	paymer	,	kirk	acevedo	,	doug	hutchison	,	robert	pastorelli	producers	:	sean	ryerson	writers	:	andrew	scheinman	,	adam	scheinman	,	tony	gilroy
pos	notting	hill	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nottinghill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	nottinghill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	julia	roberts	,	hugh	grant	,	rhys	ifans	,	gina	mckee	screenplay	by	richard	curtis	directed	by	roger	michell	notting	hill's	trailer	is	awful	:	a	laughless	,	schmaltzy	montage	.	the	movie	was	desperately	marketed	to	the	anti	phantom	menace	crowd	,	the	same	lovelorn	females	who	ignored	the	love	letter	.	and	it	apparently	worked	.	perhaps	the	presence	of	julia	roberts	whose	allure	beyond	those	perfect	teeth	still	escapes	me	had	a	lot	to	do	with	notting	hill's	opening	weekend	success	,	but	the	film's	staying	power	is	based	on	word	of	mouth	.	allow	me	to	spread	some	more	good	buzz	for	notting	hill	.	grant	stars	as	william	thacker	,	a	travel	bookstore	owner	who	works	and	resides	in	a	tiny	english	district	called	notting	hill	.	into	his	shop	one	day	wanders	famous	actress	anna	scott	(	roberts	)	.	a	common	thief	,	some	spilled	orange	juice	,	and	some	stilted	conversation	leads	to	their	first	,	highly	impetuous	(	or	is	that	improbable	?	)	,	kiss	.	days	later	,	william	sneaks	into	her	hotel	suite	under	the	guise	of	a	magazine	journalist	,	and	so	begins	a	passionate	,	albeit	surreptitious	,	affair	.	(	aside	:	notting	hill's	portrayal	of	press	junkets	is	deadly	accurate	.	)	only	anna's	celebrity	or	william's	lack	thereof	threatens	to	drive	a	wedge	between	them	.	richard	curtis	has	tapped	into	fantasy	we	all	have	considered	,	and	for	at	least	its	first	half	hour	the	picture's	"	beauty	and	the	beast	"	like	scenario	is	(	romantic	)	escapism	of	the	highest	order	.	as	with	groundhog	day	or	pleasantville	,	while	watching	the	high	concept	comedy	notting	hill	one	constantly	imagines	him	herself	in	the	lead	;	it's	william's	ordinaryness	that	entices	the	spoiled	and	bored	anna	.	curtis	(	who	previously	penned	four	weddings	and	a	funeral	)	is	also	smart	enough	to	know	that	the	unlikely	couple's	situation	is	not	enough	to	fuel	two	hours'	worth	of	entertainment	,	so	some	of	notting	hill's	finest	moments	revolve	around	william's	eccentric	friends	and	family	.	by	now	,	dear	reader	,	you've	probably	heard	a	lot	about	rhys	ifans'	performance	as	william's	imbecilic	welsh	flatmate	.	yes	,	he's	a	crowd	pleaser	,	a	walking	sight	gag	,	but	his	character	is	not	nearly	as	involving	as	the	wheelchair	bound	(	and	appropriately	named	)	bella	(	mckee	,	the	anguished	waitress	of	naked	)	or	max	(	tom	mcinnerny	)	,	her	lousy	chef	of	a	husband	.	in	the	movie's	best	sequence	,	william	,	anna	,	and	company	sit	around	bloated	from	max's	latest	concoction	and	hold	a	contest	:	the	last	brownie	on	the	table	goes	to	the	diner	with	the	saddest	life	.	the	scene	ends	only	as	a	british	writer	would	end	it	.	if	anything	,	fantastic	bits	like	these	dull	the	main	plot's	dramatic	impact	.	roberts	and	grant	,	especially	,	are	appealing	,	but	their	relationship	is	convolutedly	interrupted	too	many	times	(	four	weddings'	suffered	similar	flaws	)	,	and	william	and	anna	ultimately	only	have	one	thing	in	common	:	they're	lonely	.	(	worth	noting	in	roberts'	and	grant's	favour	:	the	ubiquitous	"	i'm	just	a	girl	,	standing	across	from	a	boy	,	asking	him	to	love	her	"	episode	is	not	nearly	so	syrupy	as	it	appears	in	clips	,	and	it	features	some	of	the	best	emoting	either	actor	has	ever	done	.	)	notting	hill	is	nonetheless	enjoyable	;	on	the	visual	side	of	things	,	i	especially	appreciated	michell's	playful	changing	of	the	seasons	number	.	if	only	(	and	this	is	a	surprisinly	minor	gripe	)	he	had	lopped	off	the	egregious	epilogue	;	for	a	story	that	thrives	on	what	we	bring	to	it	,	the	filmmakers	work	too	hard	to	tidy	things	up	,	leaving	our	imaginations	in	the	lurch	.
pos	starring	nigel	hawthorne	,	jeremy	northam	,	rebecca	pidgeon	,	gemma	jones	.	rated	g	.	david	mamet	has	long	been	my	favorite	screenwriter	and	director	.	with	his	distinctive	,	more	often	than	not	ingenious	dialogue	,	and	his	laid	back	style	of	direction	nearly	all	of	his	movies	are	absolutely	irresistible	.	some	of	them	tend	to	be	thickly	layered	,	deceptive	productions	that	require	the	audience	to	look	at	the	film	in	a	less	superficial	manner	than	the	plot	seems	to	require	in	order	to	discern	its	concealed	message	,	or	sometimes	even	a	concealed	storyline	.	and	although	the	real	plot	in	his	new	project	the	winslow	boy	is	slightly	more	conspicuous	than	in	some	of	his	other	endeavors	,	it	is	still	a	brilliantly	complex	,	consistently	riveting	motion	picture	about	honor	,	about	sacrifice	,	and	about	the	difference	between	what	is	commonly	known	as	justice	and	what	is	right	.	oh	,	and	it's	rated	g	.	incidentally	,	this	is	the	first	time	that	mamet	has	decided	to	adapt	someone	else's	work	;	namely	a	play	by	terrence	rattigan	,	set	in	the	19th	century	.	he	casts	nigel	hawthorne	in	the	lead	role	as	arthur	winslow	,	a	rich	,	aging	man	who	finds	out	that	his	14	year	old	son	ronnie	has	been	kicked	out	of	the	naval	academy	for	allegedly	stealing	a	5	shilling	postal	note	.	"	did	you	do	it	?	"	he	asks	his	boy	.	"	no	father	,	i	didn't	,	"	ronnie	answers	.	that's	enough	for	arthur	,	who	,	with	his	oldest	daughter	(	rebecca	pidgeon	)	,	immediately	starts	a	crusade	to	bring	his	son's	case	to	court	.	they	enlist	the	help	of	sir	robert	morton	,	a	notorious	attorney	to	help	them	achieve	that	formidably	daunting	task	.	it	all	seems	fairly	frivolous	,	and	no	matter	how	you	look	at	it	,	the	winslow	case	is	not	the	trial	of	the	century	.	but	arthur	is	determined	to	keep	his	family's	word	clean	and	he	is	willing	to	go	quite	far	to	make	sure	of	that	.	soon	enough	,	sir	robert	morton	along	with	the	rest	of	the	country	becomes	equally	wrapped	up	in	the	proceedings	.	so	do	we	.	all	david	mamet	does	for	the	script	is	tighten	and	hone	the	dialogue	,	but	his	style	is	still	fairly	apparent	.	the	characters	still	talk	in	his	trademark	staccatto	lines	and	there	is	still	tension	present	in	conversations	that	no	ordinary	writer	would	be	able	to	make	tense	.	but	this	is	not	mamet's	norm	,	and	it's	refreshing	to	see	mamet	deviate	from	his	world	of	crooks	,	gangsters	as	con	men	,	wonderful	as	those	films	were	.	nigel	hawthorne's	performance	is	nearly	flawless	.	his	delivery	is	that	of	a	dignified	yet	not	pompous	man	who	seems	to	be	getting	beaten	at	his	own	game	.	we	pity	the	man	,	but	we	also	like	him	.	rebecca	pidgeon	,	david	mamet's	wife	,	who	gave	a	fairly	awful	performance	in	the	spanish	prisoner	is	at	the	top	of	her	game	here	as	arthur's	oldest	daughter	,	a	flailing	feminist	who	gives	her	all	to	the	winslow	case	as	a	way	for	making	up	for	her	lack	of	success	in	the	women's	suffrage	movement	.	the	winslow	boy	is	a	wonderful	movie	that	avoids	cliches	such	as	a	seemingly	inevitable	courtroom	scene	and	shoots	higher	it	wants	to	make	a	real	impact	rather	than	a	phony	one	.	be	honest	:	did	you	feel	anything	profound	at	or	after	the	courtroom	scenes	in	films	like	a	time	to	kill	?	if	you	wanted	to	but	didn't	,	this	is	a	movie	for	you	.	it	is	the	epitome	of	subtlety	:	it's	powerful	without	being	too	emotional	,	sad	without	even	trying	to	be	depressing	.	david	mamet	can	churn	out	some	great	scripts	,	but	in	this	movie	he	proves	to	those	who	ever	doubted	it	once	and	for	all	that	he	is	a	hell	of	a	director	too	.	he	is	almost	a	national	treasure	.	his	films	deserve	their	own	genre	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
pos	the	creepy	byron	de	la	beckwith	(	played	extremely	well	by	james	woods	who	got	an	oscar	nomination	)	kills	civil	rights	leader	medger	evers	in	his	own	driveway	,	that	was	in	1963	.	when	he	is	put	on	trial	he	faces	an	all	white	,	all	male	jury	,	of	course	he	doesn't	get	convicted	(	he	was	put	on	trial	twice	)	because	the	judge	is	the	toughest	and	most	racist	judge	in	all	of	mississippi	.	then	,	for	some	reason	,	his	widow	myrlie	evers	(	goldberg	)	decides	that	she	wants	to	re	open	the	case	after	all	this	time	,	it's	1989	now	,	and	most	people	could	care	less	.	but	she	soon	forms	a	bond	with	bobby	delaughter	(	baldwin	)	a	lawyer	who	pursues	the	case	for	over	five	years	.	his	job	is	to	track	down	witnesses	(	most	of	them	dead	)	and	keep	the	case	going	even	if	no	real	evidence	is	found	.	when	he	first	views	the	case	as	,	"	the	case	we'll	work	on	in	his	spare	time	"	is	soon	grows	to	become	his	obsession	because	"	is	it	ever	too	late	to	do	the	right	thing	?	"	he	eventually	gathers	up	enough	evidence	(	with	the	help	of	william	h	.	macy	,	god	,	is	he	like	in	every	movie	ever	made	or	what	?	)	and	conjures	up	a	new	trial	.	the	movie	stretches	on	for	too	long	,	do	you	really	need	to	see	him	find	the	kkk	members	from	long	ago	sitting	in	denim	on	a	huge	bale	of	hay	?	what	about	the	uneeded	romance	between	him	and	a	hospital	worker	?	i	suppose	that	this	is	essential	to	painting	a	picture	for	what	it	was	like	long	ago	,	but	after	a	while	it	gets	boring	.	it	could	have	easily	been	cute	to	about	95	or	105	minutes	,	which	would	have	made	it	much	more	of	a	pleasureable	experience	.	this	isn't	to	say	the	movie	isn't	great	.	i	was	chilled	and	disgusted	every	time	woods	appeared	on	the	screen	.	i	would	have	loved	to	see	more	of	his	performance	.	goldberg	is	also	good	,	it's	amazing	that	she	can	still	act	after	appearing	in	so	many	stupid	,	screwball	comedies	.	plus	the	film	is	rated	pg	13	so	younger	teens	can	see	it	,	yes	they	will	be	bored	out	of	their	minds	,	but	i	hope	some	parents	force	it	upon	their	children	to	see	this	movie	.	it's	a	great	movie	(	and	like	the	back	of	the	video	says	)	"	that	every	american	should	see	.	"	overall	,	the	movie	is	a	long	(	but	moving	)	experience	,	and	i	give	it	stars	.
pos	filmcritic	.	com	presents	a	review	from	staff	member	bradley	null	you	can	find	the	review	with	full	credits	at	a	href	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	4273eccb750e44ab882569680006d5fc	?	opendocument	"	http	:	filmcritic	.	com	misc	emporium	.	nsf	2a460f93626cd4678625624c007f2b46	4273eccb750e44ab882569680006d5fc	?	opendocument	a	here's	the	pitch	:	take	an	emotional	drama	about	the	racial	conflict	concerning	the	integration	of	a	black	high	school	and	a	white	one	in	the	south	.	then	wrap	the	entire	plot	around	a	hard	nosed	high	school	football	coach	(	washington	)	with	an	unorthodox	style	but	an	uncanny	ability	to	get	the	most	out	of	his	players	.	as	an	added	little	twist	in	this	case	,	the	old	white	head	coach	(	patton	)	stays	on	as	an	assistant	so	we	can	play	with	a	fair	amount	of	racial	conflict	and	power	struggle	as	these	two	egos	collide	,	and	ultimately	generate	a	little	more	emotion	as	they	become	friends	.	the	last	bit	aside	,	we've	all	seen	this	movie	a	couple	of	times	before	,	so	we	know	what	to	expect	from	the	feel	good	sentiment	.	to	be	sure	,	a	lot	of	bigoted	white	folks	are	going	to	do	a	lot	of	mean	things	until	they	slowly	start	to	understand	that	we	are	all	the	same	on	the	inside	.	and	a	bunch	of	jaded	and	underachieving	high	school	athletes	will	slowly	learn	what	it	is	their	coach	is	trying	to	teach	them	about	becoming	men	and	champions	.	throw	in	the	fat	kid	from	the	wrong	side	of	the	tracks	who	finds	his	inspiration	and	a	little	pride	along	the	way	,	and	we've	got	the	most	heartwarming	film	ever	made	.	the	only	trouble	with	this	concoction	is	that	in	trying	to	concurrently	satisfy	these	two	very	demanding	genres	sports	story	and	racial	drama	director	boaz	yakin	and	producers	jerry	bruckheimer	and	chad	oman	felt	compelled	to	include	the	same	stock	scenes	that	we've	seen	before	in	both	of	these	genres	.	the	townspeople	rise	up	against	the	outsider	coach	,	the	players	who	struggled	under	him	at	first	come	to	respect	him	,	the	white	man	finally	realizes	that	he	and	his	black	counterpart	aren't	that	different	,	and	of	course	,	there's	the	ever	popular	brick	through	the	window	of	the	new	black	family	in	the	neighborhood	.	of	course	,	the	filmmakers	ride	these	powerful	scenes	for	all	of	the	emotion	they've	got	.	but	ultimately	,	this	continuous	stringing	along	of	genre	conventions	weighs	the	film	down	,	preventing	the	filmmakers	from	bringing	any	really	new	elements	to	the	table	.	remember	the	titans	is	based	on	a	true	story	.	and	thankfully	so	.	if	it	weren't	for	that	fact	,	audiences	probably	wouldn't	buy	all	of	yakin	and	bruckheimer's	string	pulling	.	as	it	turns	out	,	even	though	bruckheimer	,	the	action	producer	with	the	touch	of	gold	,	would	seem	unqualified	for	this	picture	,	these	two	manage	to	mine	the	emotional	for	it's	worth	.	as	it	turns	out	,	genre	cliches	turn	out	to	be	the	most	powerful	elements	of	the	film	,	alongside	the	force	of	nature	that	is	denzel	washington	.	in	particular	,	the	emotional	scenes	of	the	team	coming	together	on	the	football	field	prove	the	most	effective	.	(	if	you	don't	know	much	about	football	,	you	can	identify	these	scenes	by	the	fact	that	they	usually	follow	an	impassioned	speech	by	one	or	another	player	or	coach	,	and	are	always	backed	by	an	emotional	rock	or	r	b	hit	of	the	60's	or	70's	.	)	ironically	,	the	occasions	when	the	filmmakers	aren't	following	genre	conventions	(	in	the	film's	rare	opportunities	for	originality	)	are	the	times	when	the	film	tends	to	flounder	the	worst	.	most	notably	,	the	subplot	about	a	sexually	ambiguous	surfer	boy	from	california	is	simply	awkward	and	dilutes	from	tension	at	the	heart	of	the	story	.	also	,	the	decision	to	bookend	the	film	with	a	funeral	sequence	from	ten	years	later	is	stupid	and	pointless	.	it	was	unnecessary	and	overbearing	in	films	like	titanic	and	saving	private	ryan	,	but	here	it	is	simply	a	waste	of	the	audience's	time	and	attention	.	you	actually	find	yourself	wondering	who	is	going	to	die	and	how	that	will	tie	in	to	the	plot	,	only	to	find	out	in	the	end	that	it	doesn't	tie	in	at	all	.	all	in	all	,	the	movie	is	very	consistent	if	not	overpowering	.	you've	seen	it	all	before	,	but	the	competent	repackaging	will	manage	to	tug	at	your	heart	strings	anyway	.	we're	all	suckers	like	that	,	i	guess	.	and	jerry	bruckheimer	knows	it	better	than	anyone	.
pos	directed	by	:	david	koepp	written	by	:	david	koepp	(	novel	by	richard	matheson	)	starring	:	kevin	bacon	,	kathryn	erbe	,	illeana	douglas	,	kevin	dunn	,	zachary	david	cope	produced	by	:	judy	hofflund	,	gavin	polone	after	being	hypnotized	,	a	man	believes	there	is	a	ghost	in	his	house	.	two	low	key	summer	horror	films	have	become	surprise	financial	successes	this	year	:	the	blair	witch	project	and	the	sixth	sense	.	each	has	made	well	over	100	million	in	north	america	,	based	on	a	combination	of	strong	word	of	mouth	and	clever	advertising	.	if	a	film's	box	office	take	were	based	primarily	on	its	quality	,	stir	of	echoes	would	join	blair	and	sense	in	grossing	far	more	money	than	expected	,	for	it	is	as	scary	,	if	not	scarier	than	the	other	two	.	writer	director	david	koepp	has	given	artisan	entertainment	,	the	folks	who	distributed	blair	witch	a	second	creepy	hit	.	the	story	gets	going	after	tom	witzky	(	bacon	)	,	an	average	blue	collar	dad	,	gets	hypnotized	by	his	wife	maggie's	(	erbe	)	sister	lisa	(	douglas	)	at	a	party	.	while	the	hypnosis	goes	as	expected	to	the	party	goers	,	it	triggers	something	in	tom's	head	.	things	begin	to	change	around	him	(	blinking	red	lights	let	off	a	strange	hum	,	for	example	)	,	and	he	fights	to	stay	in	control	of	his	own	senses	.	where	these	experiences	take	tom	,	maggie	and	their	son	jake	(	cope	)	,	who	tom	thinks	might	have	some	answers	,	is	down	a	dark	path	that	will	scare	and	disturb	you	.	david	koepp	keeps	the	action	localized	;	the	majority	of	the	action	takes	place	at	tom's	house	or	just	down	the	street	.	by	keeping	things	at	home	,	koepp	is	able	to	proceed	without	having	to	resort	to	any	clumsy	segues	(	montages	of	driving	down	roads	as	we	move	from	one	city	to	another	etc	.	)	.	unfortunately	,	the	dread	and	spookiness	of	stir	of	echoes	are	frequently	interrupted	by	moments	of	levity	.	humour	can	take	the	tension	away	from	a	scene	faster	than	any	shoddy	special	effect	or	poor	acting	.	several	tense	moments	become	completely	diffused	by	a	few	misplaced	jokes	.	also	,	there	are	a	couple	of	plot	developments	that	are	left	unresolved	,	though	to	mention	them	would	be	to	give	too	much	away	.	kevin	bacon	handles	the	duel	task	of	playing	an	everyman	and	a	man	losing	his	sanity	admirably	.	his	total	lack	of	understanding	of	what	is	happening	to	him	is	believable	,	as	are	the	reactions	from	his	wife	maggie	.	kathryn	erbe	is	given	a	role	meatier	and	better	written	than	that	of	most	"	wife	who	can	no	longer	handle	her	husband	"	parts	.	while	it	is	still	a	supporting	role	,	her	maggie	is	moving	as	she	watches	both	her	husband	and	her	son	enter	what	she	calls	"	a	private	club	that	i'm	not	invited	to	"	,	where	they	whisper	about	things	all	day	long	.	as	jake	,	zachary	cope	equals	the	performance	of	haley	joel	osment	in	the	sixth	sense	,	but	gets	less	screen	time	.	both	children	manage	the	same	trick	,	making	the	audience	creeped	out	by	their	apparent	acceptance	of	the	way	things	are	.	fans	of	blair	and	sixth	sense	will	almost	surely	love	stir	of	echoes	.	it	combines	the	dread	of	blair	,	a	creepy	closed	in	feel	thanks	to	cinematographer	fred	murphy	and	great	performances	by	the	whole	cast	,	specifically	bacon	,	to	give	the	fall	its	first	genuine	scary	film	.	if	only	they	had	let	up	on	the	unneeded	funny	bits	and	tweaked	the	plot	a	bit	more	,	this	could	have	been	one	of	the	year's	best	.	email	tim	chandler	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	timbit	canada	.	com	"	timbit	canada	.	com	a	check	out	the	bottom	line	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	heights	8000	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	heights	8000	index	.	html	a	for	more	reviews	!
pos	probably	the	most	popular	and	praised	film	of	all	time	,	turned	out	to	be	a	primitive	and	predictable	costume	drama	with	a	dose	of	social	criticism	.	everyone	knows	about	the	greatest	and	most	famous	shipping	disaster	of	all	time	.	and	the	actual	catastrophe	is	masterfully	crafted	by	director	james	cameron	,	combining	visual	and	sound	effects	,	he	re	creates	the	frightening	atmosphere	of	the	sinking	ship	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	.	i	liked	very	much	the	emotional	and	brutal	contrast	between	the	first	and	the	third	classes	.	while	their	cabin	is	slowly	filling	up	with	water	,	a	mother	is	telling	her	children	a	fairytail	"	.	.	and	they	lived	happily	ever	after	.	.	"	.	and	then	the	ship	goes	down	and	the	few	survivors	are	left	alone	under	the	stars	and	the	chilling	air	.	however	,	the	actual	disaster	is	happening	almost	at	the	end	of	the	movie	,	while	the	first	two	hours	are	just	beautiful	sets	and	bad	dialogues	.	in	the	present	day	,	the	rms	titanic	is	explored	by	brock	lovett	(	bill	paxton	)	,	a	treasure	seeker	looking	for	the	coeur	de	la	mer	diamond	,	lost	during	the	sinking	.	somewhere	inside	the	ship	,	lovett's	crew	discover	a	sketchbook	of	an	artist	long	dead	.	here	,	in	the	shape	of	a	nude	young	lady	,	is	a	window	into	the	distant	age	of	1912	.	lovett	is	extremely	surprised	when	he	get's	a	phone	call	from	rose	dawson	,	claiming	that	she	is	a	model	.	she	is	immediately	helicoptered	onto	the	vessel	,	and	she	gets	the	first	glimpse	of	the	fated	ship	in	80	years	.	as	the	memories	come	flooding	back	,	she	once	again	becomes	rose	dewitt	buketer	(	kate	winslet	)	,	the	fiance	of	wealthy	cal	hockley	(	billy	zane	)	and	daughter	of	ruth	dewitt	bukater	(	frances	fisher	)	.	on	board	there	are	rich	and	poor	,	everyone	trust	in	the	ship's	designer	(	jonathan	hyde	)	and	her	master	,	captain	e	.	j	.	smith	(	bernard	hill	)	.	on	board	the	ship	,	rose	,	unhappy	and	restless	meets	jack	(	leonardo	dicaprio	)	a	young	american	artist	,	poor	,	brave	and	attractive	.	a	love	story	slowly	emerges	and	the	two	lovers	must	not	only	experience	the	difference	between	the	social	classes	,	but	also	face	the	greatest	power	on	earth	death	.	cameron	could	as	well	have	called	his	picture	"	the	never	ending	love	"	or	"	love	at	first	sight	"	,	as	he	concentrates	all	his	energy	on	the	young	couple	,	and	not	on	the	disaster	itself	.	the	plot	is	anything	but	original	and	the	dialogues	sometimes	resemble	a	television	soap	opera	.	the	director	doesn't	even	try	to	overcome	his	empty	script	.	because	of	its	primitive	and	predictable	plot	,	titanic	is	totally	depending	on	the	visuals	that	truly	are	breathtaking	.	russel	carpenter's	rich	,	majestic	and	incredibly	detailed	cinematography	is	certainly	award	worthy	.	everything	from	art	direction	to	visual	and	sound	effects	are	a	top	notch	.	but	it	doesn't	help	much	when	the	costumes	are	more	convincing	than	the	actors	who	wear	them	.	the	actors	are	not	to	blame	,	because	their	characters	are	more	like	caricatures	,	in	other	words	fake	.	jack	is	a	man	with	many	talents	:	he	is	a	talented	artist	,	handsome	,	brave	,	honest	,	strong	,	funny	.	.	.	you	name	it	.	he	doesn't	have	any	dark	side	,	he	doesn't	make	any	mistakes	,	that	for	a	second	would	make	him	human	.	jack	is	perfect	,	but	he	is	poor	.	on	the	other	hand	we	have	cal	.	he	is	a	bastard	that	treats	rose	as	an	odalisque	and	not	as	his	wife	to	be	.	he	lacks	everything	jack	possesses	,	but	he	is	rich	.	this	childish	contrast	between	the	social	classes	is	one	of	those	things	that	makes	titanic	nothing	more	than	a	mediocre	picture	.	cameron	knows	precisely	what	we	want	to	see	.	his	film	therefore	contains	certain	minimums	to	draw	an	audience	attractive	actors	,	a	"	tragic	love	story	"	,	beautiful	visuals	(	including	expensive	special	effects	)	,	a	dose	of	social	criticism	,	a	fascinating	historical	event	(	we	love	true	stories	)	and	last	,	but	not	least	an	incredible	media	support	,	which	proclaimed	an	average	picture	the	"	greatest	film	of	all	time	"	.	on	the	outside	titanic	looks	perfect	,	but	behind	that	sparkling	curtain	of	incredible	visuals	is	emptiness	nothing	to	think	about	.	the	main	weakness	of	this	film	,	which	ironically	became	its	success	,	is	simplicity	.	cameron	enables	our	basic	and	if	you	wish	primitive	emotions	:	love	,	hate	,	fear	and	helplessness	.	everyone	understands	the	power	of	love	and	the	threat	to	our	beautiful	couple	is	likewise	imaginable	a	sinking	ship	.	titanic	is	a	typical	hollywood	production	,	totally	and	completely	dependent	on	visual	perfection	to	hide	its	primitive	plot	.	it's	a	good	picture	,	but	absolutely	not	a	masterpiece	.	it's	among	hundreds	and	thousands	good	films	released	every	year	,	not	better	or	worse	than	the	average	american	film	.
pos	call	me	crazy	,	but	i	don't	see	saving	private	ryan	as	the	film	of	the	summer	.	a	good	movie	,	yes	,	with	chillingly	realistic	battle	scenes	and	emotion	to	spare	.	an	utterly	riviting	movie	on	par	with	steven	spielberg's	best	work	,	no	.	personally	,	if	i	was	spielberg	,	i	wouldn't	go	back	to	the	world	war	ii	era	one	more	time	after	schindler's	list	and	the	indiana	jones	movies	.	i'm	guessing	steve	has	a	thing	for	nazis	;	i	really	wouldn't	be	surprised	if	a	velociraptor	ate	one	of	the	swastika	wearing	dudes	in	the	next	jurassic	park	movie	.	all	lofty	pretenses	aside	,	saving	private	ryan	is	the	goriest	movie	this	side	of	a	1980s	slasher	flick	.	the	difference	is	,	it's	easy	during	friday	the	13th	to	laugh	off	a	spear	sticking	out	of	kevin	bacon's	chest	while	blood	spurts	like	crazy	,	but	it's	damn	hard	to	sit	and	eat	reese's	pieces	while	soldiers	suffer	machine	gun	bullets	to	the	head	and	have	their	intestines	spilled	out	onto	the	battlefield	.	and	believe	me	,	there's	plenty	of	it	.	a	30	minute	sequence	at	the	beginning	of	the	movie	has	an	army	captain	(	tom	hanks	)	and	his	soldiers	landing	at	omaha	beach	to	join	countless	other	americans	who	are	already	under	fire	.	lives	are	lost	in	seconds	as	the	purposefully	confusing	and	jarring	scene	goes	on	and	on	,	and	all	the	young	men	in	the	audience	find	themselves	never	,	ever	wanting	to	be	drafted	.	cut	to	some	bureaucratic	defense	office	,	where	a	hundred	women	pound	out	sympathy	form	letters	to	the	families	of	the	casualties	.	one	woman	happens	upon	an	interesting	detail	three	brothers	in	different	platoons	were	killed	in	combat	,	and	their	mother	is	getting	the	telegram	today	.	i	guess	it's	an	interesting	conversation	piece	to	everyone	but	the	mother	,	so	the	army	chief	(	harve	presnell	)	sends	hanks	on	what	is	essentially	a	public	relations	mission	,	to	find	the	fourth	ryan	brother	and	send	him	home	.	that	way	,	the	army	saves	the	postage	on	yet	another	telegram	to	mrs	.	ryan	.	one	good	thing	about	saving	private	ryan	is	that	the	soldiers	who	are	headed	to	rescue	ryan	know	it's	a	mission	designed	to	make	the	army	look	good	.	they	question	the	worth	of	risking	eight	soldiers'	lives	to	save	one	,	and	hanks'	character	admits	he	doesn't	give	a	damn	about	ryan	;	he's	just	following	orders	.	if	this	was	a	john	wayne	movie	,	things	would	be	different	.	there'd	be	a	phony	,	"	let's	go	get	that	boy	,	gosh	darn	it	!	"	attitude	that	would	sugarcoat	the	reality	of	war	.	by	doing	things	this	way	,	spielberg	admits	the	instincts	of	self	preservation	and	complacency	that	every	normal	person	has	.	it	makes	saving	private	ryan	a	lot	more	powerful	than	an	testosterone	driven	stallone	movie	mission	.	the	movie's	pattern	is	to	have	long	battle	scenes	followed	by	quiet	scenes	of	semi	introspective	conversation	among	the	soldiers	.	hanks	is	painted	first	as	a	nails	tough	army	man	careful	to	hide	his	true	self	from	the	other	men	.	it's	not	that	way	for	long	.	edward	burns	,	the	guy	you	get	for	your	movie	when	ben	affleck	isn't	available	,	is	the	impulsive	one	.	jeremy	davies	plays	the	translator	who	is	seeing	combat	for	the	first	time	,	and	so	on	.	none	of	the	characters	are	fascinating	or	natural	born	heroes	,	but	was	spielberg's	obvious	intention	.	i	wondered	when	i	heard	saving	private	ryan	was	three	hours	long	,	how	were	they	going	to	fill	three	hours'	time	searching	for	one	person	and	still	make	it	interesting	?	there	are	a	few	false	starts	;	hanks	finds	one	private	ryan	in	ted	danson's	company	(	apparently	,	danson	joined	the	army	after	"	ink	"	was	canceled	.	)	and	breaks	the	bad	news	before	learning	it's	the	wrong	ryan	.	and	of	course	the	movie's	far	from	over	when	hanks	does	locate	ryan	(	matt	damon	,	the	other	guy	you	get	when	affleck	isn't	available	)	.	that's	when	the	movie	turns	into	more	of	a	conventional	war	flick	,	although	body	parts	and	limbs	still	fly	like	never	before	.	saving	private	ryan	is	worth	your	time	,	but	it's	definitely	no	schindler's	list	.	the	battle	scenes	are	intense	and	realistic	,	but	some	of	the	attempts	at	sincere	emotion	aren't	.	the	movie's	bookends	are	particularly	cheesy	and	out	of	place	,	when	an	old	private	ryan	goes	to	the	cemetary	with	his	family	and	bawls	his	eyes	out	,	whining	,	"	tell	me	i've	led	a	good	life	.	tell	me	i'm	a	good	man	.	"	spielberg	was	apparently	following	the	james	cameron	line	of	thought	that	any	three	hour	movie	about	the	past	should	be	framed	by	a	self	contained	prologue	and	epilogue	that	takes	place	in	the	present	.	much	more	effective	are	subtler	scenes	,	like	the	one	where	several	of	hanks'	men	are	rifling	thrugh	a	bag	of	dogtags	from	dead	soldiers	,	and	they	make	light	of	what	they're	doing	by	pretending	they're	playing	poker	.	this	while	an	airborne	division	marches	by	,	their	eyes	full	of	that	mound	of	dogtags	.	by	not	explicitly	pointing	out	that	it	symbolizes	the	random	poker	game	that	life	and	death	can	be	in	war	,	the	audience	gets	the	message	.	and	even	if	it's	not	a	classic	,	saving	private	ryan	is	definitely	one	of	the	better	war	movies	out	there	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
pos	director	:	john	lasseter	,	andrew	stanton	cast	:	dave	foley	,	kevin	spacey	,	julia	louis	dreyfuss	,	david	hyde	pierce	,	madeline	kahn	,	denis	leary	screenplay	:	andrew	stanton	,	donald	mcenery	,	bob	shaw	producers	:	darla	k	.	anderson	,	kevin	reher	runtime	:	95	min	.	us	distribution	:	disney	buena	vista	rated	g	once	again	,	the	battle	is	dreamworks	versus	disney	:	earlier	this	year	,	the	mammoth	companies	fought	to	the	death	with	their	end	of	the	world	asteroid	flicks	,	deep	impact	and	armageddon	.	here	we	are	now	,	just	a	few	months	later	,	and	they're	at	it	again	with	dueling	bug	movies	,	antz	and	a	bug's	life	.	what	i	find	so	astonishing	is	that	both	pairs	of	movies	are	so	inherently	similar	in	both	story	and	execution	.	i	mean	,	come	on	what	were	the	chances	of	two	studios	both	deciding	to	bring	out	computer	animated	films	about	bugs	?	as	was	the	case	with	the	meteor	movies	,	disney	has	come	out	on	top	:	though	antz	is	a	likable	movie	,	a	bug's	life	is	far	superior	.	in	fact	,	this	movie	made	me	realize	what	was	wrong	with	antz	:	i	became	immersed	in	the	world	of	a	bug's	life	,	while	antz	just	made	me	scrutinize	everything	.	but	it's	not	really	fair	to	base	an	entire	review	on	a	comparison	.	a	bug's	life	is	a	remarkable	film	in	its	own	right	,	and	deserves	to	be	seen	apart	from	any	other	computer	animated	film	about	bugs	.	in	fact	,	it's	one	of	the	best	films	this	year	:	it's	smart	,	subtle	,	and	funny	,	but	it's	also	perfect	family	entertainment	and	relentlessly	entertaining	.	i	haven't	had	such	a	good	time	at	the	movies	in	months	.	it	tells	the	story	of	an	ant	named	flick	(	voice	by	dave	foley	)	;	he's	a	nice	guy	,	but	he's	also	a	troublemaker	.	the	ants	spend	all	season	putting	together	the	offering	,	a	big	pile	of	food	that	they	provide	for	the	grasshoppers	.	just	before	the	grasshoppers	come	,	flick	accidentally	knocks	over	the	offering	,	and	ruins	everything	for	the	entire	colony	:	the	grasshopper's	leader	,	hopper	(	kevin	spacey	)	,	is	enraged	,	and	tells	them	that	the	ants	need	twice	the	food	by	the	end	of	summer	,	or	they're	all	dead	.	flick	,	feeling	responsible	for	this	,	sets	off	to	look	for	help	he	realizes	that	the	only	way	to	be	rid	of	the	grasshoppers	is	to	fight	them	.	he	heads	to	the	city	(	the	city	being	a	house	a	few	miles	away	)	,	where	he	finds	a	colorful	bunch	of	circus	bugs	:	a	ladybug	(	denis	leary	,	who	is	spectacular	)	,	a	black	widow	(	bonnie	hunt	)	,	a	caterpillar	(	joe	ranft	)	,	a	butterfly	(	madeline	kahn	)	,	a	rhinoceros	beetle	(	michael	mcshane	)	,	and	a	stick	(	david	hyde	pierce	,	also	giving	a	hilarious	performance	)	.	flick	doesn't	know	they're	actors	,	and	they	don't	know	that	flick	needs	them	to	kill	a	bunch	of	grasshoppers	,	so	they	return	to	the	colony	with	flick	and	find	themselves	in	an	unusual	position	.	the	most	obvious	element	of	a	bug's	life	is	the	quality	of	animation	.	created	by	pixar	,	the	same	people	who	brought	us	toy	story	,	a	bug's	life	has	some	of	the	most	amazing	visuals	i've	ever	seen	.	the	bugs	seem	to	inhabit	a	three	dimensional	space	,	and	occasionally	there	will	be	a	shot	that	is	indistinguishable	from	live	action	.	this	is	a	lush	,	colorful	world	,	full	of	life	and	imagination	:	the	way	the	animators	insert	the	things	all	of	us	see	in	our	daily	lives	(	matches	,	bottlecaps	,	tin	cans	,	etc	.	)	and	make	them	active	objects	in	the	bugs'	world	is	innovative	.	the	film	is	also	mercilessly	exciting	,	particularly	in	a	superbly	staged	scene	involving	our	heroes'	escape	from	a	bird	(	a	little	bird	never	seemed	so	huge	and	threatening	)	.	but	the	makers	of	a	bug's	life	know	where	the	importance	lies	:	story	and	characters	.	flick	,	with	solid	voice	work	from	foley	,	is	a	great	guy	to	lead	the	story	.	but	the	real	treat	comes	with	the	circus	bugs	;	they're	such	a	likable	group	of	characters	the	standouts	are	the	stick	(	hyde	pierce	is	so	good	)	,	francis	the	ladybug	,	and	the	big	fat	caterpillar	.	all	of	these	bugs	have	more	than	a	token	personality	,	which	makes	the	suspenseful	scenes	work	because	we	care	about	the	bugs	,	and	it	also	keeps	the	tear	jerking	scenes	from	seeming	obligatory	.	in	my	review	of	antz	,	i	said	that	the	film	is	a	clever	cop	out	because	it	presents	a	bunch	of	little	humans	reacting	to	an	ant	like	existence	.	in	concept	,	a	bug's	life	is	basically	the	same	movie	,	except	that	i	was	never	given	enough	time	to	find	things	that	i	didn't	like	about	it	.	with	such	strong	work	in	both	animation	and	script	,	a	bug's	life	is	nothing	but	a	joy	to	sit	through	.	it	really	is	too	bad	that	it	had	to	come	out	so	close	to	that	other	bug	movie	,	but	a	bug's	life	is	so	good	that	i'm	sure	it	will	find	its	audience	.	after	a	slew	of	endlessly	violent	and	cynical	movies	,	it's	downright	refreshing	to	sit	through	an	innocent	picture	like	this	and	laugh	without	feeling	guilty	.
pos	(	out	of	4	)	the	thing	about	adam	sandler	is	,	his	heart	is	in	the	right	place	.	for	example	,	in	happy	gilmore	,	sandler	plays	a	rookie	golfer	trying	to	beat	a	self	confident	jerk	of	a	pro	.	if	the	star	were	any	other	comic	,	that	would	be	enough	motivation	to	drive	the	movie	,	but	with	sandler	,	the	rookie	also	wants	to	win	the	prize	money	to	help	his	grandma	keep	her	house	.	that	extra	motive	doesn't	make	happy	gilmore	a	funnier	movie	.	it	doesn't	really	add	any	genuine	emotional	depth	,	either	.	in	fact	,	the	motive	is	almost	totally	irrelevant	to	the	movie	.	but	sandler's	philosophy	seems	to	be	,	if	it's	a	token	gesture	,	why	not	make	it	a	nice	gesture	?	that	is	endlessly	refreshing	.	in	the	wedding	singer	,	sandler	is	right	on	track	.	the	fact	that	he's	a	wedding	singer	is	only	superficially	relevant	to	the	story	.	what	kind	of	a	wedding	singer	he	is	is	even	less	important	.	david	spade	could	have	filled	the	role	with	cynicism	and	sarcasm	.	he	could	make	fun	of	the	fat	,	ugly	,	or	embarrassing	people	he	meets	at	weddings	,	and	the	story	would	be	intact	.	but	sandler	instead	brings	a	mature	goodness	to	the	character	.	he	seems	to	really	enjoy	the	people	at	weddings	and	treats	them	as	though	they	were	his	own	family	.	robbie	hart	(	sandler	)	doesn't	just	sing	at	weddings	;	he	also	gets	the	loners	to	join	in	and	have	fun	,	and	he	smooths	it	over	when	someone	does	something	embarrassing	.	he	is	exactly	the	man	you	would	want	at	your	wedding	.	the	day	comes	when	robbie	has	his	own	wedding	,	and	he	is	stood	up	by	his	heavy	metal	bride	(	the	movie	is	set	in	1985	)	.	robbie	takes	it	hard	.	he	doesn't	sleep	,	he	doesn't	eat	,	and	he	gets	punched	out	at	work	when	he	sings	"	love	stinks	"	at	a	wedding	.	julia	(	drew	barrymore	)	,	who	waitresses	all	the	weddings	in	town	,	gives	him	a	shoulder	to	cry	on	and	an	ear	to	talk	to	.	eventually	,	robbie	starts	rebounding	toward	julia	.	he	really	likes	her	,	but	she's	engaged	.	her	fianc	is	a	self	confident	jerk	(	do	i	see	a	trend	nope	,	just	a	formula	)	who	doesn't	deserve	her	,	but	robbie	is	too	depressed	to	fight	for	her	hand	.	julia	seems	to	like	robbie	too	,	but	she	can't	leave	her	seemingly	safe	and	stable	fianc	for	the	off	chance	that	robbie	might	be	serious	about	her	.	you	know	the	story	.	you've	seen	it	a	million	times	before	.	there's	always	a	new	way	to	tell	it	,	with	new	lovers	,	new	chemistry	,	and	new	details	,	but	it's	the	same	story	.	and	sometimes	,	it	works	.
pos	capsule	:	a	love	story	hidden	inside	a	half	serious	thriller	,	and	the	love	story	comes	out	on	top	.	a	friend	of	my	mother's	is	a	compulsive	collector	of	odd	trivia	.	one	night	she	came	back	after	a	cab	ride	with	six	photocopied	pages	of	closely	packed	conspiracy	theory	gibberish	,	which	the	cabdriver	had	apparently	foisted	off	on	her	after	lecturing	her	about	the	evils	of	technology	.	i	guess	both	she	and	screenwriter	brian	helgeland	must've	ridden	in	the	same	cab	,	because	conspiracy	theory	takes	that	kernel	of	an	idea	,	wraps	a	love	story	around	it	,	and	milks	it	quite	nicely	.	the	cabbie	in	the	movie	is	named	jerry	fletcher	,	and	is	played	by	mel	gibson	.	so	many	of	his	previous	roles	featured	him	playing	intensely	masculine	and	assertive	roles	,	so	it	comes	as	a	shock	when	we	see	him	gibbering	and	waving	his	fingers	around	like	squid's	tentacles	and	motormouthing	his	way	through	the	opening	credits	about	everything	from	what	they	put	into	the	water	to	who	killed	jfk	.	he's	a	nut	.	he's	also	a	nut	with	a	case	of	puppy	dog	erotomania	,	and	the	object	of	his	affection	is	a	woman	who	works	in	the	justice	department	alice	sutton	,	whose	father	,	a	judge	,	died	under	bizarre	circumstances	.	fletcher	and	sutton	know	each	other	:	he	comes	to	her	office	with	another	wacko	theory	every	week	,	and	she	tolerates	his	presence	,	if	only	because	he	saved	her	from	some	muggers	once	.	but	she's	clearly	only	going	to	take	so	much	of	him	at	a	time	,	and	she's	not	charmed	by	him	.	at	least	at	first	.	one	day	fletcher	comes	under	the	attention	of	some	shadowy	characters	,	and	is	abducted	and	put	through	a	serio	comic	chamber	of	horrors	that	makes	the	"	dentist's	chair	"	scene	in	marathon	man	look	positively	comforting	.	after	that	,	he's	no	longer	just	kooky	he's	charged	with	the	convinction	that	someone	really	is	after	him	.	convincing	alice	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	another	story	.	the	plot	unspools	in	several	directions	at	once	,	but	it	doesn't	come	up	with	anything	that	leaves	us	tearing	out	the	cushions	of	our	seats	in	amazement	:	the	movie	isn't	working	in	that	direction	.	the	timing	in	every	scene	is	comic	,	and	the	relationship	between	jerry	and	alice	is	like	a	mutant	version	of	a	screwball	comedy	where	the	society	dame	is	pestered	by	the	resourceful	grocery	boy	.	it	is	,	at	heart	,	a	relatively	sweet	natured	story	.	sounds	strange	considering	that	a	good	deal	of	the	plot	concerns	stuff	which	almost	any	other	movie	would	have	made	x	files	bleak	and	blade	runner	black	,	but	the	movie	tries	something	neat	and	for	the	most	part	makes	it	.	who'd've	thunk	it	:	a	date	movie	about	mk	ultra	?
pos	directed	by	keenen	ivory	wayans	.	screenplay	by	phil	beauman	,	jason	friedberg	,	buddy	johnson	,	aaron	seltzer	,	marlon	wayans	,	shawn	wayans	.	starring	anna	faris	,	marlon	wayans	,	regina	hall	.	running	time	:	86	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	mature	subject	matter	and	offensive	language	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	july	7th	,	2000	.	how	do	you	review	a	film	like	"	scary	movie	"	?	certainly	not	on	the	basis	of	plot	.	the	"	story	"	of	a	spoof	is	usually	just	a	framework	for	gags	to	assess	it	on	that	criterion	would	be	like	judging	a	dress	on	the	quality	of	the	hanger	.	acting	isn't	really	all	that	important	either	,	as	long	as	the	performers	possess	a	certain	amount	of	charisma	and	some	notion	of	comic	timing	.	direction	?	virtually	irrelevant	.	cinematography	?	get	real	.	no	,	all	that	matters	in	deciding	whether	or	not	"	scary	movie	"	is	any	good	are	the	laughs	.	and	"	scary	movie	"	is	the	first	parody	i've	seen	in	years	that	has	laughs	in	droves	.	but	fair	warning	first	:	i'm	a	big	fan	of	the	"	naked	gun	"	movies	.	i	enjoyed	"	spaceballs	"	.	if	your	sense	of	humor	runs	contrary	to	my	own	,	this	review	likely	won't	apply	much	to	you	.	"	scary	movie	"	started	life	as	two	separate	screenplays	"	scream	if	you	know	what	i	did	last	halloween	"	and	"	last	summer	i	screamed	because	friday	the	13th	fell	on	halloween	"	which	were	merged	into	one	by	director	keenen	ivory	wayans	.	ironically	,	the	final	moniker	was	a	working	title	for	"	scream	"	,	the	progenitor	of	the	current	crop	of	teen	oriented	slasher	films	.	if	you	haven't	already	guessed	,	"	scary	movie	"	is	a	pastiche	of	this	whole	genre	.	if	you've	been	avoiding	these	sorts	of	pictures	,	you	might	want	to	give	this	one	a	pass	too	,	as	you	might	not	get	many	of	the	jokes	.	the	storyline	of	"	scary	movie	"	broadly	follows	the	plot	of	"	scream	"	,	with	elements	of	other	films	(	notably	"	scream	2	"	and	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	)	thrown	in	for	good	measure	.	we	again	start	off	with	a	big	star	making	popcorn	.	in	"	scream	"	it	was	drew	barrymore	(	playing	"	casey	becker	"	)	,	here	it's	carmen	electra	(	playing	"	drew	becker	"	,	wink	wink	)	.	the	phone	rings	,	and	sure	enough	it's	a	serial	killer	on	the	other	line	,	wearing	the	same	ghostface	get	up	as	in	"	scream	"	.	the	voice	on	the	phone	wants	to	know	what	the	noise	is	.	carmen	explains	she	just	farted	.	the	killer	was	referring	to	the	popcorn	.	soon	carmen	is	racing	through	the	house	and	across	her	lawn	.	she	comes	to	a	signpost	with	arrows	reading	"	safety	"	and	"	death	"	pointing	in	opposite	directions	.	you	can	probably	guess	the	rest	.	the	movie	plays	out	predictably	from	there	,	as	teens	are	stalked	and	slain	by	the	masked	villain	or	is	it	villains	?	but	,	really	,	who	cares	about	the	story	?	it	barely	even	makes	sense	,	and	the	ending	is	particularly	incredulous	.	what	is	important	is	the	way	"	scary	movie	"	subverts	its	source	material	,	and	this	it	does	very	well	.	the	"	father	death	"	mask	,	for	instance	,	has	gained	the	miraculous	ability	to	reflect	its	owner's	mood	,	generating	some	bizarre	visuals	when	the	killer	is	toquing	up	.	toward	the	end	,	the	(	?	)	murderer	does	a	terrific	imitation	of	matthew	lillard	,	one	of	"	scream	"	's	homicidal	teenagers	.	"	scary	movie	"	doesn't	just	target	the	slasher	genre	,	either	.	everything	from	"	the	matrix	"	to	"	dawson's	creek	"	is	up	for	grabs	here	,	and	there	are	some	great	send	ups	of	human	behaviour	.	one	of	my	favourite	scenes	has	black	actress	regina	hall	attending	a	showing	of	"	shakespeare	in	love	"	.	in	a	terrific	pastiche	of	rude	moviegoers	(	and	,	in	particular	,	the	reputation	african	americans	have	of	talking	back	to	the	screen	)	,	hall	just	doesn't	stop	chattering	.	she	even	talks	on	her	cell	phone	,	loudly	,	to	the	disgust	of	the	all	white	,	upper	middle	class	crowd	.	ghostface	slinks	into	the	audience	to	stab	hall	,	but	the	audience	gets	to	her	first	,	pulling	out	their	own	weapons	.	"	this	is	for	'schindler's	list'	!	"	exclaims	a	hassidic	jew	.	you'll	have	to	hear	for	yourself	what	film	hall	ruined	for	the	pope	.	(	when	i	saw	"	scary	movie	"	,	there	was	a	moron	waving	a	laser	pointer	across	the	screen	during	certain	scenes	the	first	time	i've	encountered	this	particular	brand	of	rudeness	at	a	local	theatre	.	intriguingly	,	they	stopped	doing	it	after	the	scene	i've	just	described	.	coincidence	?	)	not	all	the	jokes	are	winners	,	though	,	and	"	scary	movie	"	is	hamstrung	by	following	the	plot	of	"	scream	"	a	little	too	closely	;	greater	variation	would	have	made	for	a	funnier	,	more	dynamic	film	.	some	of	the	humor	is	rather	tired	the	gag	of	giving	the	characters	cutesy	,	referential	names	(	"	buffy	"	gilmore	)	was	even	done	already	in	"	scream	3	"	.	and	sometimes	"	scary	movie	"	just	doesn't	know	when	enough	is	enough	,	like	the	running	gag	about	ray	(	shawn	wayans	)	being	a	closet	homosexual	.	furthermore	,	whereas	the	truly	great	spoofs	set	you	up	with	an	obvious	joke	,	then	knock	you	down	by	taking	it	one	step	further	,	"	scary	movie	"	is	often	content	to	go	only	halfway	.	a	parody	of	the	confession	scene	from	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	,	for	example	,	is	an	awful	lot	like	every	other	"	blair	witch	"	parody	of	the	past	year	.	no	doubt	the	most	controversial	aspect	of	"	scary	movie	"	will	be	the	sheer	explicitness	of	many	jokes	.	remember	two	years	ago	,	when	the	"	franks	and	beans	"	scene	in	"	there's	something	about	mary	"	was	considered	groundbreaking	?	well	,	there's	a	"	franks	and	beans	"	scene	about	every	fifteen	minutes	here	,	although	for	the	most	part	they're	pretty	amusing	,	fortunately	.	consequently	,	parents	may	want	to	be	wary	of	letting	younger	children	attend	"	scary	movie	"	.	it	strikes	me	as	a	movie	for	strictly	high	school	age	at	minimum	,	and	even	that	might	be	pushing	it	.	amongst	the	cast	,	the	only	real	standout	is	newcomer	anna	faris	,	playing	sidney	er	,	cindy	campbell	,	succeeding	impressively	at	portraying	the	virginal	heroine	while	uttering	and	engaging	in	sheer	filth	.	it's	almost	eerie	.	otherwise	,	the	castmembers	are	basically	just	vehicles	for	the	jokes	.	there	aren't	characters	here	,	just	ciphers	and	cliches	.	yes	indeed	,	"	scary	movie	"	is	plotless	,	crude	,	and	possessed	of	mostly	marginal	performances	all	the	things	film	critics	are	supposed	to	abhor	.	but	did	i	laugh	my	ass	off	anyway	?	you	bet	i	did	.	do	i	recommend	"	scary	movie	"	?	god	help	me	,	yes	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	scarymovie	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	scarymovie	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
pos	what	if	one	of	our	cities	became	the	target	for	terror	?	what	can	we	do	?	what	can	america	really	do	about	the	increasing	threat	of	terrorism	?	what	basic	human	rights	are	we	willing	to	sacrifice	to	prevent	another	oklahoma	city	disaster	?	so	far	america	has	been	the	leading	nation	,	opposing	the	fundamentalist	terrorists	around	the	world	.	it	is	the	land	of	opportunities	.	it	is	the	land	of	freedom	.	but	what	if	it	became	the	new	target	?	this	dark	fantasy	has	unfortunately	a	very	strong	grounding	in	reality	.	when	a	special	branch	of	the	united	states	military	,	under	the	command	of	general	william	devereaux	(	bruce	willis	)	,	takes	prisoner	suspected	terrorist	mastermind	sheik	ahmed	bin	talal	,	islamic	fundamentalists	across	the	world	take	notice	.	the	only	warning	the	fbi	receives	is	a	single	,	cryptic	message	:	"	release	him	.	"	then	all	hell	breaks	loose	in	new	york	.	a	bus	is	destroyed	,	killing	25	civilians	.	a	broadway	theater	is	bombed	.	hostages	are	taken	at	a	school	.	as	the	wave	of	terrorist	activity	crests	,	the	president	must	consider	if	the	only	way	to	save	the	city	and	break	the	grip	of	fear	is	to	declare	martial	law	.	devereaux	argues	against	that	eventuality	,	but	is	nevertheless	ready	to	lead	10	,	000	men	into	action	on	american	soil	.	another	person	not	in	favor	of	martial	law	is	anthony	hubbard	(	denzel	washington	)	,	the	fbi	agent	in	charge	of	investigating	the	terrorist	activities	.	his	staff	is	comprised	of	smart	,	energetic	,	intelligent	men	and	women	very	much	unlike	the	usual	group	o	!	f	moronic	feds	we're	used	to	seeing	in	movies	.	hubbard	develops	an	uneasy	alliance	with	cia	agent	elise	kraft	(	annette	bening	)	,	whose	department	knows	more	about	the	situation	than	they're	willing	to	reveal	.	but	the	attacks	escalate	.	the	fbi	are	helpless	,	chasing	an	invisible	enemy	.	the	land	is	under	siege	.	they	have	lost	control	.	.	a	terror	is	coming	from	within	.	.	what's	great	about	this	film	is	that	it	is	made	as	if	holding	up	a	mirror	to	life	.	it	reflects	reality	.	and	that's	why	it	makes	such	an	impact	.	edward	zwick	has	created	a	clever	,	well	written	and	terrifying	thriller	that	may	very	well	be	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	season	.	the	director	manages	to	tell	several	stories	simultaneously	.	and	so	his	film	plays	on	several	levels	,	never	loosing	focus	on	its	main	objective	.	he	is	exploring	the	abuse	of	power	,	the	distrustful	relationships	that	exist	between	various	segments	of	the	u	.	s	.	government	(	the	army	,	the	fbi	,	and	the	cia	)	.	he	takes	a	look	at	the	complexities	inherent	when	so	many	secrets	and	lies	are	involved	.	the	palestinian	community	in	1998	new	york	is	treated	exactly	as	japanese	americans	were	during	world	war	ii	.	there	are	concentration	camps	and	unlawful	interments	,	all	in	the	name	of	the	"	greater	good	.	"	in	the	latter	part	of	the	film	the	land	of	opportunities	looses	its	heart	and	soul	freedom	.	was	that	what	the	terror	!	ists	really	wanted	?	this	film	has	evoked	protests	and	objections	from	the	arab	american	population	in	the	u	.	s	.	and	n	.	y	.	especially	.	but	to	me	these	protests	seem	unnecessary	.	zwick	is	careful	to	not	step	over	the	line	and	make	the	palestinians	typical	hollywood	bad	guys	.	the	script	is	therefore	wonderfully	balanced	.	agent	hubbard's	best	friend	and	loyal	colleague	frank	haddad	(	tony	shalhoub	)	is	lebanese	american	.	and	it	is	quite	often	you	hear	lines	such	as	"	my	first	boyfriend	was	palestinian	.	they	seduce	you	with	their	suffering	"	or	"	they	love	this	country	as	much	as	we	do	.	"	but	no	matter	how	you	twist	this	matter	,	you	won't	get	away	from	the	fact	that	when	it	comes	to	world	wide	terrorism	it	is	arab	speaking	population	who	are	in	the	great	majority	.	more	to	the	point	,	the	siege	demonstrates	the	injustice	of	blanket	condemnation	of	any	ethnic	group	by	depicting	the	unfair	treatment	of	all	arab	americans	by	the	u	.	s	.	military	.	and	thus	this	film	does	not	serve	as	a	source	for	discrimination	in	any	!	way	.	denzel	washington	is	dashing	as	always	.	in	this	role	he	is	much	more	determined	and	stronger	than	usual	.	anette	bening	is	enjoyable	and	believable	as	a	shadowy	cia	operative	who	prefers	espionage	,	a	network	of	snitches	and	seduction	to	gather	information	.	.	bruce	willis	is	terrifying	as	the	sadist	,	hungry	for	power	,	that	never	looses	his	connection	with	the	audience	,	since	his	point	of	view	is	not	too	hard	to	understand	.	the	film	is	elegantly	shaped	.	the	scenes	are	easily	floating	into	each	other	and	the	film	never	seems	overlong	.	zwick	knows	exactly	how	to	provoke	tension	,	horror	and	emotions	and	does	it	with	a	rarely	observed	professionalism	.	he	tightens	the	intensity	as	the	events	progress	.	and	when	a	plot	twist	comes	,	it	actually	is	surprising	.	it	is	not	a	film	drained	in	patriotism	,	like	the	work	of	roland	emerich	.	nor	is	it	a	film	that	portrays	explosions	purely	for	entertainment	values	.	it	is	a	daring	picture	that	has	courage	enough	to	undertake	such	a	risky	story	and	difficult	journey	.	it	has	courage	enough	to	get	involved	in	politics	.	it	questions	our	foreign	policies	,	mentality	and	defense	.	i	must	admit	that	it	ends	rather	disappointing	,	as	the	director	turns	the	patriotism	way	up	and	innovation	down	.	but	despite	of	that	,	it	is	certainly	an	intelligent	and	thrilling	film	that	provokes	emotions	and	thoughts	;	a	virtue	that	few	summer	films	can	boast	of	.	"	this	is	the	u	.	s	.	army	.	it's	a	broadsword	,	not	a	scalpel	.	believe	me	,	you	do	not	want	us	in	an	american	city	"	gen	.	william	devereaux	,	"	the	siege	"
pos	the	truman	show	(	paramount	pictures	)	running	time	:	1	hour	42	minutes	starring	jim	carrey	and	ed	harris	directed	by	peter	weir	after	a	long	wait	,	jim	carrey's	dramatic	debut	finally	makes	it	to	the	big	screen	.	in	case	you've	been	asleep	for	the	last	few	months	,	the	plot	centres	on	truman	burbank	(	carrey	)	who	leads	an	seemingly	idyllic	life	in	the	beautiful	town	of	seahaven	.	his	life	seems	so	perfect	,	however	,	because	it's	controlled	by	christoff	(	harris	)	creator	of	the	truman	show	,	the	program	burbank	is	unwittingly	the	hero	of	.	that's	right	,	burbank's	life	is	being	broadcast	live	to	the	american	public	,	and	seahaven	and	all	it's	inhabitants	are	inclosed	in	a	massive	sound	stage	.	the	film	takes	the	jerry	springer	format	one	step	too	far	.	.	.	with	an	idea	so	different	,	it	would	be	easy	for	the	director	and	screenwriter	to	dumb	it	down	and	appeal	to	the	lowest	common	denominator	.	luckily	,	the	film	remains	sensible	enough	to	appeal	to	all	ages	,	yet	never	seems	to	be	a	dumb	carrey	movie	.	talking	of	carrey	,	he's	perfect	in	this	movie	,	enjoying	the	best	role	in	his	career	.	his	character	is	a	re	inforced	stanley	ipkiss	from	the	mask	(	1994	)	and	is	completely	suited	to	carrey's	persona	.	he	occasionally	falls	into	ace	ventura	mode	,	shrieking	and	being	silly	,	but	generally	the	audience	is	watching	subdued	carrey	.	he's	not	completely	dramatic	like	the	film	promises	,	however	.	ed	harris	brings	an	extreme	intensity	to	christoff	,	the	megalomaniac	creator	of	the	show	.	quiet	and	well	spoken	,	he	burns	an	image	into	the	viewer	.	unfortunately	,	he's	barely	in	the	film	,	and	for	the	first	hour	dosen't	appear	at	all	!	also	disappointing	is	natascha	mcelhone's	character	sylvia	.	she	plays	the	role	well	,	but	her	character	is	sadly	underwritten	and	is	pushed	to	the	sidelines	just	when	the	audience	is	used	to	her	.	the	supporting	cast	is	excellent	,	and	the	town	of	seahaven	looks	delightfully	perfect	,	so	perfect	it's	creepy	.	the	philip	glass	soundtrack	is	also	superb	,	and	is	used	to	great	effect	during	the	film	.	peter	weir	keeps	the	film	going	,	clearly	having	fun	.	the	film	is	far	more	upbeat	than	his	previous	films	dead	poets	society	and	green	card	.	although	it	is	slightly	slow	to	begin	with	,	about	half	an	hour	into	film	the	pace	really	picks	up	,	and	when	christoff	is	introduced	fully	the	film	is	on	a	roll	.	sadly	,	though	,	the	film	is	practically	over	when	the	film	is	in	full	steam	.	also	,	concerning	the	ending	,	it	is	slightly	too	ambiguous	,	which	was	disappointing	.	the	screenwriter	,	andrew	niccol	,	who	bought	us	gattaca	(	1997	)	delivers	an	entertaining	script	,	and	manages	to	keep	the	plot	in	trim	.	while	christoff's	plans	to	keep	truman	in	do	get	increasingly	silly	,	they	never	go	over	the	line	,	which	would	have	been	easy	for	niccol	to	do	.	also	,	there's	some	funny	gags	involving	product	placement	and	the	people	who	watch	the	show	.	overall	,	the	truman	show	is	excellent	entertainment	.	certainly	different	from	the	usual	crap	hollywood	produces	,	it	should	be	viewed	by	everyone	.	it	offers	something	to	every	member	of	the	audience	,	and	you	would	almost	certainly	not	come	out	disappointed	.
pos	capsule	:	what	a	surprise	:	a	big	name	hollywood	comedy	that's	actually	funny	.	tim	robbins	and	martin	lawrence	both	score	points	(	although	robbins	comes	out	slightly	ahead	)	.	the	opening	scenes	of	nothing	to	lose	hit	me	like	a	left	hook	when	i	was	expecting	a	body	blow	.	tim	robbins	,	playing	a	corporate	hustler	named	nick	beam	,	is	in	bed	with	his	wife	,	murmuring	in	a	dead	,	empty	voice	about	how	the	love	is	gone	.	then	we	get	a	surprise	several	,	actually	that	had	both	me	and	the	rest	of	the	audience	falling	out	of	our	seats	.	this	sets	us	up	on	several	levels	:	not	only	is	robbins	a	good	actor	,	but	so	is	the	beam	character	.	nick	works	for	an	advertising	company	which	fills	his	hours	,	but	he	still	manages	to	find	time	for	his	wife	.	one	afternoon	,	he	gets	out	of	a	whole	slew	of	corporate	obligations	and	comes	home	early	.	.	.	to	find	his	wife	and	his	boss	in	bed	together	.	he	wanders	downstairs	,	dazed	,	and	then	does	what	no	man	in	a	blue	funk	should	ever	do	:	get	in	his	car	.	his	aimless	driving	leads	him	to	a	carjacking	,	courtesy	of	a	fellow	named	t	.	paul	(	martin	lawrence	)	,	who	senses	mr	.	whitebread	ain't	firing	on	all	thrusters	when	he	doesn't	even	look	at	the	gun	pointing	at	his	temple	.	"	boy	,	did	you	ever	pick	the	wrong	guy	on	the	wrong	day	,	"	beam	mutters	with	a	deadly	little	smile	,	and	floors	it	.	one	scarifying	ride	later	,	the	two	of	them	take	stock	in	a	diner	far	outside	the	city	.	they	don't	like	each	other	,	but	they're	forced	to	rely	on	each	other	when	the	land	rover	runs	out	of	gas	and	paul	sticks	up	a	gas	station	to	fill	it	up	.	bit	by	bit	,	beam's	story	comes	out	.	.	.	along	with	a	bizarre	plan	to	get	revenge	on	his	boss	by	robbing	him	blind	.	the	movie's	a	pastiche	of	recent	comedy	cliches	,	and	there's	no	point	in	ignoring	it	.	what's	different	is	that	the	movie	is	funny	.	most	comedies	that	try	to	play	this	kind	of	mix	and	match	don't	work	;	they	strike	the	wrong	notes	,	or	make	the	heroes	into	idiots	.	both	beam	and	paul	know	what's	what	,	which	makes	them	interesting	to	watch	:	you	wonder	what	they're	going	to	do	next	.	in	one	scene	,	they	rob	a	sporting	goods	store	,	and	what	could	have	been	a	routine	stick	em	up	turns	into	a	heated	competition	over	who	had	the	more	intimidating	stickup	style	.	martin	lawrence	is	an	odd	duck	.	i	can't	figure	out	if	i	like	him	or	hate	him	,	but	i	liked	him	in	this	movie	:	he	does	things	with	his	voice	and	face	that	shouldn't	be	physically	possible	,	which	is	half	the	reason	for	the	laughs	he	gets	.	the	other	half	is	his	timing	and	attitude	:	pay	attention	to	the	scene	where	he	dresses	down	beam	for	not	having	a	tighter	grip	on	his	wife	(	and	beam's	reaction	,	too	)	.	or	the	scene	where	he	tries	to	tell	beam	he's	in	danger	,	and	gets	shrugged	off	.	ultimately	,	the	cliches	win	in	nothing	to	lose	,	but	that	doesn't	mean	the	ride	isn't	enjoyable	.	my	basic	rule	of	thumb	for	comedy	is	:	did	i	laugh	?	yeah	a	lot	more	than	i	probably	should	have	,	but	i	can't	say	that	about	most	movies	.	and	the	scene	with	the	security	guard	goth	dancing	in	the	laser	vault	has	to	be	seen	to	be	believed	.
pos	director	:	kenneth	branagh	writers	:	rita	rudner	and	martin	bregman	starring	:	kenneth	branagh	,	emma	thompson	,	stephen	fry	,	alphonsia	emmanuel	,	hugh	laurie	,	imelda	staunton	,	rita	rudner	,	tony	slattery	,	phyllida	law	,	alex	lowe	,	richard	briers	the	reunion	film	is	not	an	original	idea	in	any	way	,	shape	,	or	form	.	it's	been	done	throughout	film	history	over	and	over	again	,	and	has	become	one	of	the	many	sub	genres	,	like	the	prep	school	sub	genre	,	the	angst	filled	teen	sub	genre	,	and	the	slasher	sub	genre	.	what	makes	"	peter's	friends	"	so	remarkable	is	not	how	it	doesn't	follow	the	rules	of	this	sub	genre	,	but	how	it	follows	it	so	well	,	and	creates	characters	that	i	wouldn't	mind	hanging	with	.	what	are	the	rules	of	the	reunion	sub	genre	?	well	.	.	.	.	1	.	you	need	a	group	of	friends	,	most	of	them	married	or	at	least	dating	,	and	sometimes	even	married	or	dating	eachother	.
pos	(	out	of	4	)	in	a	world	where	children	are	genetically	screened	and	filtered	before	birth	,	vincent	is	born	with	no	artificial	genetic	help	from	his	parents	.	which	is	too	bad	for	him	because	he	is	born	into	a	society	where	a	job	interview	consists	solely	of	evaluating	your	dna	.	vincent's	parents	decide	to	have	another	child	a	boy	,	for	vincent	.	this	time	they	get	the	help	of	a	geneticist	.	so	vincent	grows	up	weaker	,	shorter	and	less	graceful	than	his	younger	brother	anton	.	if	that	weren't	enough	,	mom	and	dad	treat	the	boys	differently	,	as	if	vincent	might	break	from	the	same	fall	that	anton	brushes	off	.	understandably	,	vincent	grows	up	wanting	to	get	as	far	away	from	home	and	from	people	as	possible	,	all	the	way	to	the	moons	of	jupiter	.
pos	trees	lounge	is	the	directoral	debut	from	one	of	my	favorite	actors	,	steve	buscemi	.	he	gave	memorable	performences	in	in	the	soup	,	fargo	,	and	reservoir	dogs	.	now	he	tries	his	hand	at	writing	,	directing	and	acting	all	in	the	same	flick	.	the	movie	starts	out	awfully	slow	with	tommy	(	buscemi	)	hanging	around	a	local	bar	the	"	trees	lounge	"	and	him	pestering	his	brother	.	it's	obvious	he	a	loser	.	but	as	he	says	"	it's	better	i'm	a	loser	and	know	i	am	,	then	being	a	loser	and	not	thinking	i	am	.	"	well	put	.	the	story	starts	to	take	off	when	his	uncle	dies	,	and	tommy	,	not	having	a	job	,	decides	to	drive	an	ice	cream	truck	.	well	,	the	movie	starts	to	pick	up	with	him	finding	a	love	interest	in	a	17	year	old	girl	named	debbie	(	chloe	sevigny	)	and	.	.	.	i	liked	this	movie	alot	even	though	it	did	not	reach	my	expectation	.	after	you've	seen	him	in	fargo	and	reservoir	dogs	,	you	know	he	is	capable	of	a	better	performence	.	i	think	his	brother	,	michael	,	did	an	excellent	job	for	his	debut	performence	.	mr	.	buscemi	is	off	to	a	good	career	as	a	director	!
pos	starring	:	robert	duvall	,	farrah	fawcett	,	john	beasley	,	miranda	richardson	ingredients	:	down	on	his	luck	evangelist	,	churchsynopsis	:	sonny	dewey	(	robert	duvall	)	is	a	tireless	texas	pentecostal	preacher	who	unexpectedly	catches	his	wife	(	farrah	fawcett	)	in	bed	with	another	guy	.	in	a	regrettable	crime	of	passion	he	takes	a	baseball	bat	to	the	guy's	head	,	and	suddenly	finds	himself	a	fugitive	for	murder	,	and	estranged	from	his	wife	and	two	kids	.	to	atone	for	his	sins	,	sonny	flees	to	a	rural	bayou	town	in	louisiana	and	baptizes	himself	as	a	new	creature	the	apostle	e	.	f	.	as	the	apostle	e	.	f	.	sonny's	main	mission	is	to	revive	an	abandoned	church	community	and	preach	the	gospel	at	the	local	radio	station	.	soon	he	sets	about	resurrecting	the	one	way	road	to	heaven	holiness	temple	.	but	sonny	knows	his	time	is	short	;	one	day	the	police	will	find	him	.	opinion	:	this	movie	is	a	thought	provoking	look	at	an	evangelist	in	real	life	terms	.	i	believe	that	robert	duvall	(	who	is	the	producer	,	director	,	writer	,	and	main	star	of	the	apostle	)	deserves	an	oscar	for	his	performance	as	sonny	the	religious	crusader	a	performance	which	is	so	complex	and	realistic	it	ranks	as	one	of	the	finest	acting	performances	on	film	.	duvall's	portrayal	of	a	true	believer	is	authentic	,	superb	,	and	inspired	;	it	offers	the	audience	a	completely	honest	look	at	southern	religion	,	as	well	as	a	portrait	of	a	fallible	,	complicated	man	driven	by	his	beliefs	.	incidentally	,	in	real	life	duvall	was	just	as	'driven'	in	getting	the	project	underway	.	since	no	major	hollywood	studio	wanted	to	risk	financing	a	complex	movie	about	an	evangelist	,	the	apostle	as	a	project	lay	dormant	for	almost	13	years	before	duvall	was	able	to	get	it	done	,	paying	for	its	production	with	his	own	money	(	about	five	million	dollars	)	.	in	terms	of	hard	hitting	realism	and	character	portrayal	the	apostle	would	rank	as	one	of	the	best	movies	of	this	decade	,	and	i	emphatically	recommend	the	apostle	for	connoisseurs	of	stage	and	fine	acting	on	film	.	similarly	,	those	with	a	steep	background	in	pentecostal	christianity	would	find	the	apostle	a	thought	provoking	experience	.	on	the	other	hand	,	the	apostle's	main	strength	duvall's	preaching	is	also	what	limits	the	apostle's	target	audience	.	in	terms	of	plot	and	pure	entertainment	value	,	the	apostle	is	definitely	not	for	everyone	.	teenagers	,	action	fans	,	comedy	fans	,	and	people	who	find	church	completely	boring	should	stay	far	away	from	this	movie	,	since	three	quarters	of	the	film	is	watching	sonny	preach	at	church	.	in	other	words	,	the	apostle	is	a	four	star	performance	,	but	with	a	very	limited	audience	.
pos	directed	by	yuen	woo	ping	starring	jackie	chan	,	hwang	jang	lee	,	simon	yuen	,	dean	shek	mpaa	:	not	rated	(	though	i	feel	it	would	likely	be	pg	,	for	martial	arts	violence	.	)	with	three	movies	already	(	re	)	released	theatrically	in	america	,	and	at	least	three	more	on	their	way	,	jackie	chan	is	one	of	the	newest	"	hot	properties	"	in	action	adventure	stardom	,	and	it's	just	about	time	.	for	over	twenty	five	years	,	jackie's	been	starring	in	martial	arts	and	action	movies	in	hong	kong	,	thrilling	audiences	with	both	an	incredible	grasp	of	acrobatics	and	martial	arts	and	a	wonderful	sense	of	comedy	.	"	drunken	master	"	has	the	distinction	of	being	the	first	jackie	chan	movie	to	"	make	it	big	"	this	is	the	movie	that	supposedly	set	jackie	up	for	big	stardom	in	hong	kong	.	i'm	not	entirely	sure	why	,	exactly	.	in	many	ways	,	"	drunken	master	"	is	similar	to	most	of	jackie's	other	early	films	,	such	as	"	fearless	hyena	"	i	and	ii	,	"	master	with	cracked	fingers	"	,	"	half	a	loaf	of	kung	fu	"	,	"	spiritual	kung	fu	"	,	and	others	.	in	fact	,	looking	at	all	these	early	films	together	,	one	gets	the	impression	that	they	were	stamped	out	,	cookie	cutter	style	,	at	a	rate	of	four	to	six	per	year	,	all	using	the	same	casts	and	telling	very	similar	stories	.	to	be	honest	,	i	think	that	early	jackie	chan	movies	are	something	of	an	acquired	taste	.	they're	quite	different	from	action	movies	as	we	know	them	in	america	.	these	films	tend	to	be	set	in	the	chinese	countryside	in	an	indeterminate	period	sometime	in	the	distant	past	,	with	fairly	slow	plots	that	often	meander	far	afield	and	sometimes	seem	to	exist	only	for	the	intention	of	stringing	comedy	and	fight	scenes	together	.	"	drunken	master	"	,	though	its	plot	is	tighter	than	some	,	is	no	exception	.	(	as	an	aside	,	"	drunken	master	"	was	the	first	jackie	chan	movie	i	ever	saw	,	and	i	saw	it	the	way	it	was	meant	to	be	seen	.	.	.	in	a	movie	theater	in	seattle	,	as	part	of	an	asian	film	festival	.	at	the	time	,	i	didn't	really	think	it	was	anything	special	.	.	.	but	after	having	seen	more	films	like	it	,	it's	kind	of	grown	on	me	.	)	"	drunken	master	"	's	storyline	is	very	similar	to	that	of	other	early	jackie	chan	movies	,	such	as	"	fearless	hyena	"	i	and	ii	and	"	master	with	cracked	fingers	"	slacker	martial	arts	student	is	taught	the	martial	arts	by	a	harsh	seeming	master	,	and	has	a	big	fight	with	an	evil	bad	guy	in	the	end	(	a	formula	that	has	been	"	adapted	,	"	to	put	it	kindly	,	by	american	films	such	as	karate	kid	)	.	more	specifically	,	jackie	chan	plays	the	part	of	wong	fei	hong	,	aka	"	naughty	panther	,	"	a	fun	loving	,	practical	joking	kung	fu	student	who	is	too	good	at	kung	fu	for	his	own	good	,	but	not	_	quite	_	good	enough	.	after	embarrassing	his	instructor's	assistant	by	beating	him	roundly	,	then	beating	up	a	bully	in	a	marketplace	,	wong	fei	hong	tries	to	hit	on	a	pretty	girl	,	but	discovers	that	she	,	and	her	mother	,	can	hit	back	,	better	than	he	can	.	.	.	and	is	further	chagrinned	to	discover	that	the	two	women	are	his	cousin	and	aunt	,	respectively	.	his	father	,	wong	kei	ying	,	is	unhappy	about	this	,	and	is	further	annoyed	when	the	father	and	brother	of	the	bully	show	up	to	sue	for	damages	.	kei	ying	soon	institutes	a	harsh	regimen	of	punishment	,	which	fei	hong	does	not	like	at	all	.	while	escaping	from	this	punishment	,	fei	hong	meets	up	with	a	drunken	old	man	,	who	proceeds	to	thrash	him	soundly	,	then	take	him	on	as	a	student	and	thrash	him	some	more	.	this	turns	out	to	be	su	hua	chi	,	a	legendary	master	of	drunken	style	kung	fu	.	he	assigns	fei	hong	a	series	of	bizarre	tasks	,	such	as	filling	jugs	with	water	while	hanging	upside	down	from	a	frame	,	cracking	walnuts	with	his	hands	,	and	other	such	exercises	,	that	seem	like	more	pointless	cruelty	but	are	actually	strengthening	him	up	.	then	,	when	he's	ready	,	he	teaches	him	the	seven	styles	of	drunken	kung	fu	.	unfortunately	,	the	lazy	fei	hong	only	practices	six	of	them	.	.	.	"	drunken	master	"	features	some	wonderful	martial	arts	sequences	,	with	jackie	winning	some	fights	and	losing	others	.	it's	been	said	before	,	but	i'll	say	it	again	these	fights	don't	just	_	happen	_	,	they're	as	carefully	choreographed	as	any	ballet	performance	,	and	it	shows	.	in	his	fights	,	jackie	often	makes	use	of	objects	found	in	his	environment	benches	,	jugs	,	cups	,	bowls	,	fruits	and	vegetables	often	in	new	and	surprising	ways	.	the	fight	scenes	,	particularly	those	toward	the	end	of	the	film	,	are	unparallelled	in	most	american	films	.	whether	jackie	wins	or	loses	,	it's	really	something	to	see	.	.	.	and	it's	often	as	funny	as	anything	,	too	.	and	funny	is	the	other	thing	jackie	chan	is	very	,	very	good	at	.	there's	very	little	that's	new	in	this	movie	jackie	winning	fights	,	jackie	getting	beaten	badly	by	a	master	,	jackie	going	through	punishment	or	training	.	.	.	these	schticks	have	all	been	seen	before	,	in	any	one	of	several	dozen	similar	jackie	movies	from	the	seventies	and	early	eighties	.	but	they're	still	hilarious	as	ever	.	likewise	,	jackie	has	a	_	great	_	supporting	cast	,	many	of	whom	were	also	in	other	early	jackie	films	,	and	they're	often	the	source	of	plenty	of	hilarity	on	their	own	.	the	really	big	thing	about	"	drunken	master	"	,	though	,	that	inspired	several	copycats	(	including	a	couple	starring	jackie	himself	)	and	a	sequel	fifteen	years	later	,	was	the	drunken	style	kung	fu	.	i'm	not	certain	whether	or	not	this	is	actually	a	genuine	style	of	kung	fu	,	but	the	principle	behind	it	is	to	imitate	the	wobbly	movements	of	a	drunkard	to	lull	the	enemy	into	a	false	sense	of	security	.	.	.	and	it	apparently	helps	if	you're	drunk	while	you're	doing	it	.	genuine	or	not	,	i	have	to	admit	,	there's	just	something	incredibly	fun	about	watching	a	fellow	who	looks	utterly	sloshed	wading	into	a	group	of	startled	opponents	and	making	mincemeat	out	of	them	before	they	even	realize	what's	going	on	.	come	to	think	of	it	,	perhaps	this	element	is	what	accounts	for	this	film's	success	over	any	of	the	other	jackie	films	.	.	.	it's	not	just	martial	arts	,	it's	the	kind	of	martial	arts	that	makes	you	stop	and	go	,	"	whoa	.	.	.	"	on	the	negative	side	,	the	cinematography	in	this	film	is	nothing	special	,	the	film	stock	is	rather	primitive	,	the	plot	is	often	rather	slow	,	and	the	subtitles	are	sometimes	extremely	hard	to	read	against	the	background	.	"	gone	with	the	wind	"	,	this	isn't	.	still	,	if	you	like	martial	arts	films	,	or	like	what	you've	seen	so	far	of	jackie	chan	and	want	to	see	more	,	give	it	a	shot	.	it's	much	more	"	real	"	than	chuck	norris	or	jean	claude	van	damme	.	you	might	very	well	like	it	.	another	interesting	thing	about	"	drunken	master	"	has	to	do	with	its	video	availability	in	the	us	.	"	drunken	master	"	is	the	only	early	jackie	chan	movie	that	i	know	of	that	you	can	find	in	its	original	,	letterboxed	,	hong	kong	subtitled	form	,	commercially	available	on	vhs	(	from	magnum	video	,	in	a	gold	box	,	for	about	10	)	.	there	are	plenty	of	other	early	jackie	films	around	,	but	these	are	typically	either	in	dubbed	,	pan	and	scanned	form	or	else	import	tapes	priced	for	rental	instead	of	purchase	.	thankfully	,	"	drunken	master	"	,	at	least	,	is	available	in	the	aspect	ratio	in	which	it	was	meant	to	be	seen	,	at	a	very	affordable	price	.	if	you	like	"	drunken	master	"	,	take	a	look	at	the	numerous	other	early	jackie	chan	films	that	are	out	there	(	even	the	dubbed	ones	aren't	really	_	too	_	bad	.	.	.	if	nothing	else	,	you	can	enjoy	the	martial	arts	choreography	while	making	fun	of	the	dialogue	)	.	i	particularly	recommend	"	spiritual	kung	fu	"	,	"	half	a	loaf	of	kung	fu	"	,	the	"	fearless	hyena	"	movies	,	and	"	snake	crane	arts	of	shaolin	"	.	also	,	the	mostly	unrelated	storywise	sequel	,	"	drunken	master	ii	"	,	will	hit	theaters	in	american	release	sometime	later	this	year	(	though	what	its	american	release	title	will	be	is	still	uncertain	)	and	comes	_	highly	_	recommended	by	this	reviewer	.	also	,	for	a	rather	different	interpretation	of	the	character	wong	fei	hong	(	who	is	in	fact	a	popular	figure	from	chinese	folklore	)	,	i've	been	told	to	suggest	the	"	once	upon	a	time	in	china	"	series	starring	jet	li	(	though	i	haven't	personally	seen	any	of	them	yet	)	.	if	you	choose	to	watch	"	drunken	master	"	,	i	really	hope	you	enjoy	it	,	and	i	hope	it	starts	to	open	your	eyes	to	the	wonderful	world	of	asian	cinema	that's	out	there	.	all	in	all	,	i	give	this	film	an	8	out	of	10	.	chris	meadows	aka	author	,	team	m	.	e	.	c	.	h	.	a	.	,	crapshoot	co	.	robotech	_	master	on	the	superguy	listserv	(	bit	.	listserv	.	superguy	)	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	eyrie	.	org	"	robotech	eyrie	.	org	a	with	a	world	wide	web	homepage	located	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	jurai	.	net	"	robotech	jurai	.	net	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	eyrie	.	org	robotech	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	eyrie	.	org	robotech	index	.	html	a
pos	well	i'll	be	damned	,	what	a	most	excellent	surprise	.	not	to	be	confused	with	the	campy	and	far	inferior	1988	remake	starring	ex	porn	star	traci	lords	,	this	more	recent	attempt	at	remaking	the	1950's	drive	in	schlockfest	not	of	this	earth	is	a	real	gem	and	was	quite	possibly	the	best	sci	fi	flick	of	1995	.	once	again	,	b	movie	king	roger	corman	is	behind	this	effort	(	he	directed	the	original	)	but	this	time	he	appears	only	in	the	role	of	executive	producer	.	the	rest	of	the	crew	and	cast	are	relative	unknowns	.	it	seems	criminal	that	the	film	was	released	direct	to	video	in	most	countries	,	because	it's	an	absolute	must	see	for	sci	fi	fans	and	a	treat	for	anyone	who	enjoys	decently	acted	and	written	thrillers	with	a	kooky	bent	.	the	plot	in	brief	.	paul	johnson	(	michael	york	)	is	an	alien	posing	as	an	eccentric	millionaire	who	,	though	needing	to	kill	people	to	live	,	is	visiting	earth	for	far	from	selfish	reasons	.	his	race	is	dying	of	a	mysterious	blood	disease	and	he	desperately	is	trying	to	find	a	cure	,	the	key	of	which	lies	in	the	blood	of	humans	.	he	visits	and	soon	puts	under	his	spell	the	respected	blood	physician	dr	.	rochelle	,	whom	he	hypnotises	into	doing	secret	research	on	his	behalf	.	he	also	has	the	doctor	convince	smart	and	sexy	nurse	amanda	(	elizabeth	barondes	)	to	move	in	with	johnson	as	his	private	nurse	so	as	to	give	him	the	blood	transfusions	which	he	constantly	requires	.	but	before	long	,	amanda	and	johnson's	sleazy	chauffeur	release	that	johnson	is	a	lot	more	than	just	eccentric	.	i	must	admit	,	my	first	glimpse	of	the	video	cover	for	not	of	this	earth	was	not	encouraging	.	british	actor	michael	york	has	appeared	in	some	real	stinkers	in	past	few	decades	,	a	far	cry	from	the	quality	fare	of	his	younger	days	such	as	caberat	(	1972	)	.	but	his	performance	here	as	an	alien	in	human	disguise	is	nothing	short	of	outstanding	.	the	weird	twitches	and	bizarre	modes	of	speech	,	the	dapper	clothes	and	cool	spectacles	,	the	unexpected	pathos	which	he	invests	in	his	character	.	york	is	by	turns	hilarious	,	menacing	and	tragic	.	this	is	a	tour	de	force	and	quite	simply	the	best	performance	i've	seen	from	him	.	and	while	obviously	made	on	a	modest	budget	,	the	film	boasts	enormous	strengths	.	the	casting	is	spot	on	,	the	acting	is	terrific	and	the	script	is	intelligent	,	witty	and	consistently	engaging	,	cleverly	updating	the	original	.	the	balance	of	horror	and	humour	is	just	about	perfect	,	a	marked	contrast	to	the	earlier	remake	from	1988	.	the	film	doesn't	drag	for	a	second	of	its	90	minute	running	time	thanks	to	tight	editing	and	the	sure	hand	of	little	known	director	terrance	h	.	winkless	.	and	it	doesn't	matter	one	bit	that	the	special	effects	are	cheesy	this	is	schlock	after	all	,	even	if	it	is	high	class	schlock	.	in	fact	my	only	criticism	of	the	film	is	that	things	get	a	tad	weak	towards	the	end	.	tighter	direction	could	have	given	the	climax	more	urgency	and	a	few	of	the	characters	act	rather	illogically	given	their	life	threatening	situation	.	but	these	are	minor	complaints	.	just	see	it	.	not	of	this	earth	is	one	of	the	biggest	sci	fi	surprises	in	years	.	and	michael	york	:	in	one	cool	swoop	you've	made	yourself	a	b	movie	legend	,	dude	.
pos	no	,	you	will	not	believe	in	ghosts	after	seeing	ghost	,	unless	you	were	predisposed	to	believe	in	them	already	.	but	,	you	will	see	a	movie	that	is	a	wonderful	blend	of	love	story	,	thriller	,	and	comedy	.	and	,	yes	,	i	think	it	worked	.	the	plot	is	simple	,	though	it	has	a	few	interesting	twists	.	patrick	swayze	and	demi	moore	move	into	a	big	old	loft	apartment	.	swayze	is	in	finance	at	a	bank	,	and	moore	is	a	sculptor	.	swayze	is	murdered	,	and	his	ghost	runs	into	the	movie	.	while	it	appears	to	be	a	random	killing	at	first	,	the	ghost	learns	that	one	of	his	co	workers	was	out	to	get	some	computer	security	codes	,	and	that	he	may	now	be	out	to	get	moore	.	in	order	to	reach	moore	,	he	finds	whoopi	goldberg	,	a	"	spiritualist	.	"	the	movie	is	at	its	best	when	it	plays	with	people's	beliefs	about	ghosts	and	the	afterlife	.	goldberg	is	a	charlatan	until	swayze	finds	her	,	and	she	isn't	sure	what	to	do	with	him	.	moore	desperately	wants	to	believe	that	goldberg	has	contacted	swayze	,	but	the	evidence	is	stacked	against	her	.	and	swayze	wants	to	reach	moore	,	in	order	to	save	her	life	,	but	he	can't	contact	her	directly	,	since	he's	a	ghost	.	this	is	not	an	"	actors'	"	movie	.	whoopi	goldberg	is	on	hand	,	playing	her	classic	smart	mouthed	,	street	wise	broad	with	an	attitude	and	she's	a	hoot	.	both	patrick	swayze	and	demi	moore	are	ernest	,	adorable	,	and	moving	.	a	character	actor	who	played	one	of	the	patients	in	cuckoo's	nest	and	one	of	salieri's	servants	in	amadeus	gives	a	great	performance	of	a	ghost	trapped	in	the	new	york	subway	.	the	biggest	flaw	in	this	movie	is	the	editing	.	many	scenes	run	on	too	long	.	the	director	and	film	editor	should	have	shaven	about	10	20	minutes	from	the	movie	,	and	would	have	made	a	better	,	tighter	movie	.	laurie	mann	harvard	!	m2c	!	jjmhome	!	lmann	a	href	"	mailto	:	lmann	jjmhome	m2c	.	m2c	.	org	"	lmann	jjmhome	m2c	.	m2c	.	org	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	laurie	_	mann	es	.	stratus	.	com	"	laurie	_	mann	es	.	stratus	.	com	a	uunet	!	lectroid	!	es	!	laurie	_	mann
pos	hong	kong	action	star	chow	yun	fat	is	a	living	legend	,	and	it's	about	time	that	mainstream	america	found	out	.	the	ever	charismatic	chow	will	certainly	have	no	trouble	winning	new	fans	with	his	english	language	debut	,	antoine	fuqua's	brisk	,	explosive	the	replacement	killers	.	in	comparison	to	the	dark	,	complex	collaborations	with	john	woo	(	who	executive	produced	)	that	made	chow	an	international	superstar	,	replacement	is	not	exactly	the	sturdiest	of	vehicles	.	the	entire	storyline	of	ken	sanzel's	thin	script	can	be	summed	up	by	its	title	.	chow	plays	john	lee	,	a	hitman	who	wants	out	of	a	contract	with	his	mob	boss	employer	(	kenneth	tsang	)	,	who	hence	dispatches	"	replacements	"	to	kill	him	and	his	ally	,	a	document	forger	named	meg	coburn	(	a	game	mira	sorvino	,	running	around	in	an	open	shirt	)	.	the	plot	is	just	the	glue	that	holds	together	what	is	essentially	one	long	series	of	wildly	choreographed	gunfights	,	which	is	far	from	a	bad	thing	.	fuqua	,	whose	slick	style	is	best	described	as	a	cross	between	michael	bay	and	(	of	course	)	woo	,	wisely	lets	chow	be	chow	in	other	words	,	do	all	the	things	that	makes	him	the	coolest	actor	around	.	throughout	the	film	,	i	found	myself	breathing	sighs	of	relief	as	the	outrageous	derring	do	from	the	chow	i	know	and	love	appeared	onscreen	sliding	on	floors	,	flying	through	the	air	,	rolling	around	and	flipping	,	firing	from	each	hand	.	early	on	,	though	,	fuqua	makes	a	serious	miscalculation	by	having	chow	hold	a	gun	with	both	hands	(	believe	it	or	not	,	columbia	pictures	reportedly	brought	in	someone	to	teach	trigger	happy	chow	how	to	shoot	a	gun	)	,	and	his	discomfort	is	obvious	.	but	there	is	only	one	scene	where	he	does	so	,	and	soon	after	chow	is	allowed	to	ease	into	his	normal	routine	.	as	well	as	chow	is	serviced	by	the	replacement	killers	,	it	still	only	scratches	the	surface	of	his	talent	.	his	dour	role	erases	all	traces	of	his	appealing	sense	of	humor	;	fuqua	,	perhaps	caught	up	in	his	reverence	for	the	man	,	takes	chow's	character	a	bit	_	too	_	seriously	,	sometimes	eliciting	an	odd	chuckle	from	the	audience	.	and	the	depth	of	his	dramatic	range	is	only	hinted	at	in	the	silent	,	subtly	acted	scene	where	lee	cannot	go	through	with	what	is	to	be	his	last	hit	.	but	i	suppose	all	depth	will	have	to	be	reserved	for	when	chow	reunites	with	woo	(	which	he	is	slated	to	do	in	the	forthcoming	action	comedy	king's	ransom	)	.	until	then	,	replacement	will	do	.	it	delivers	all	the	mayhem	and	thrills	one	would	want	and	expect	from	a	popcorn	action	film	and	serves	as	a	perfectly	adequate	american	introduction	to	the	living	legend	that	is	chow	yun	fat	.
pos	captain	corelli's	mandolin	is	one	of	those	films	that	most	people	can't	in	good	conscience	say	they	hate	.	in	the	tradition	of	films	like	waking	ned	devine	and	cinema	paradiso	,	it's	a	sweet	but	flawed	wartime	romance	with	enough	gorgeous	scenery	and	quaint	villagers	to	choke	a	horse	.	it	innocuously	celebrates	the	triumph	of	true	love	,	exalts	the	rise	of	an	everyman	hero	,	toasts	art's	ability	to	eclipse	the	horrors	of	life	,	and	at	times	is	even	a	visual	feast	(	miramax	should	charge	the	greek	tourist	board	royalties	)	.	adapted	from	the	best	selling	novel	by	louis	de	bernieres	,	the	story	begins	in	1941	.	dr	.	iannis	(	john	hurt	)	and	his	lovely	daughter	pelagia	(	penlope	cruz	)	live	on	the	idyllic	greek	isle	of	cephallonia	,	where	pelagia	is	betrothed	to	fisherman	mandras	(	christian	bale	)	who's	eager	to	prove	his	mettle	in	the	growing	war	in	europe	.	he	goes	off	to	fight	for	greece	against	the	italians	;	in	the	meantime	,	the	italians	invade	his	home	island	.	but	these	italians	aren't	scary	,	mussolini	types	;	they're	jolly	,	good	natured	and	even	kind	.	according	to	them	,	italians	are	best	at	"	eating	,	singing	,	and	making	love	,	"	which	the	filmmakers	set	out	to	prove	to	no	end	in	this	movie	.	let's	put	it	this	way	:	puccini	gets	some	serious	screen	time	.	when	the	opera	crooning	captain	corelli	(	nicholas	cage	)	beloved	mandolin	in	hand	is	placed	in	dr	.	iannis'	home	as	a	boarder	,	he	and	pelagia	fall	in	love	.	all	seems	wonderful	,	especially	when	word	arrives	that	mussolini	has	surrendered	to	the	allies	.	the	italians	are	ready	to	go	home	,	but	in	handing	over	their	arms	to	the	still	fighting	germans	,	some	of	the	fun	loving	italians	get	shot	.	soon	,	corelli	and	his	men	are	working	with	the	resistance	to	help	liberate	the	island	and	avenge	their	brothers'	deaths	.	but	,	can	these	few	men	defeat	a	huge	nazi	onslaught	?	can	true	love	prevail	?	don't	be	so	certain	of	the	answer	,	but	don't	expect	miracles	either	.	films	about	love	and	war	should	have	pathos	and	grit	,	and	corelli's	gives	us	smatterings	of	each	.	unfortunately	,	those	glimmers	are	smothered	by	incredulously	bad	,	syrupy	dialogue	(	"	i	feel	i	could've	watched	you	forever	.	"	)	and	ludicrous	almost	comic	accents	.	the	performances	are	all	passable	,	but	americans	and	brits	posing	as	italians	and	greeks	can	be	too	much	to	bear	at	times	.	cage	seems	to	channeling	a	toned	down	roberto	benigni	,	exclaiming	"	bella	bambina	!	"	every	time	he	catches	sight	of	cruz	.	and	christian	bale	as	a	swarthy	greek	revolutionary	?	that	casting	decision	is	pure	comedy	.	while	it's	not	remotely	as	bad	as	pearl	harbor	,	the	war	here	is	basically	a	nice	device	to	teach	us	the	important	lesson	of	acceptance	.	we're	all	not	so	different	(	well	,	except	maybe	the	nazis	,	but	everyone	hates	them	,	right	?	)	.	greeks	,	italians	,	and	germans	can	remarkably	understand	each	other	.	.	.	in	their	accented	english	,	of	course	,	and	these	cultural	exchanges	are	where	the	film's	painless	platitudes	come	to	light	.	oddly	,	corelli's	does	provide	quite	a	bit	of	gruesome	battle	footage	and	its	fair	share	of	brutal	death	,	which	gives	you	quite	a	jolt	after	watching	an	hour	of	bucolic	harmony	,	italians	singing	happily	,	lovers	cooing	at	one	another	,	and	"	bella	bambina	!	"	it's	a	welcome	shock	back	to	reality	.	but	with	the	billing	of	"	from	the	director	of	shakespeare	in	love	,	"	one	would	hope	john	madden's	follow	up	would	have	touted	the	same	witty	,	incisive	and	radiant	dialogue	as	its	predecessor	,	but	this	script	is	made	of	lead	.	instead	of	clever	,	we're	treated	to	clich	with	a	thick	artsy	varnish	,	and	there's	certainly	a	big	audience	for	that	.	too	bad	he	couldn't	get	tom	stoppard	to	bail	him	out	this	time	.
pos	starring	:	judith	hoag	(	april	o'neil	)	,	elias	koteas	(	casey	jones	)	,	a	bunch	of	guys	in	turtle	suits	directed	by	:	steve	barron	,	written	by	:	todd	w	.	langen	,	based	on	a	story	by	:	kevin	eastman	,	peter	laird	,	and	bobby	herbeck	rated	pg	by	the	mpaa	for	violence	and	mild	language	.	well	folks	,	last	week	i	went	to	go	check	out	the	replacement	killers	.	not	a	bad	flick	,	thanks	largely	to	chow	yun	fat	.	however	,	when	i	saw	it	,	i	also	saw	the	trailer	for	wild	things	with	kevin	bacon	,	neve	campbell	,	and	denise	richards	.	i	fell	ill	at	this	.	i	have	never	seen	a	more	idiotic	looking	film	trailer	in	all	my	life	.	this	is	worse	than	batman	robin's	trailer	.	this	film	looks	like	the	total	scum	of	the	movie	world	.	if	it	grosses	dollar	one	in	its	opening	weekend	,	i'll	have	to	fear	for	humanity	.	naturally	,	this	turned	me	off	to	going	to	the	theater	for	a	little	bit	,	in	fear	of	seeing	it	again	(	cue	cold	chill	running	down	my	spine	here	)	.	i'll	go	back	for	dark	city	,	but	right	now	it's	just	stay	home	,	watch	tv	,	yadda	yadda	.	and	lo	and	behold	,	what's	this	?	why	it's	1990's	teenage	mutant	ninja	turtles	film	.	and	you	know	what	?	i'm	going	to	shock	you	all	by	saying	this	,	but	it's	not	a	bad	film	at	that	.	in	fact	,	it's	pretty	fun	.	i	remember	seeing	these	turtle	flicks	before	.	this	would	be	the	good	one	.	a	nice	,	dark	vision	of	new	york	(	quite	the	cool	production	design	)	,	and	of	course	,	four	turtles	and	a	rat	.	if	you	don't	know	the	old	story	of	the	"	green	machine	,	"	it	goes	like	this	a	glass	jar	with	four	baby	turtles	fell	into	the	sewer	and	shattered	,	leaving	them	to	crawl	around	in	some	radioactive	ooze	that	was	coming	out	of	a	nearby	cannister	that	also	fell	down	there	.	so	,	when	a	rat	from	japan	(	whose	owner	had	recently	been	killed	after	moving	to	america	,	leaving	him	to	crawl	through	the	sewer	)	comes	across	the	turtles	and	decides	to	take	care	of	them	,	it	gets	some	ooze	on	himself	,	too	,	and	of	course	,	they	all	grow	and	become	intelligent	.	the	rat	teaches	the	turtles	the	martial	arts	and	he	saw	his	previous	master	practice	so	many	times	before	,	and	gives	them	all	names	of	renaissance	artists	:	lenardo	,	raphael	,	michaelangelo	,	and	donatello	.	oh	,	and	the	rat's	named	splinter	.	i	don't	know	why	.	in	the	course	of	this	movie	,	they	also	become	friends	with	a	judith	hoag	who	plays	the	new	reporter	april	o'neil	,	and	with	another	avenger	of	justice	,	who	happens	to	have	a	fetish	for	sports	equipment	,	named	casey	jones	.	that's	elias	koteas	.	and	of	course	,	there	happens	to	be	this	huge	crime	wave	sweeping	new	york	,	crimes	committed	by	the	japanese	foot	clan	,	which	is	led	by	the	mysterious	man	known	as	the	shredder	(	james	saito	,	voiced	by	david	mccharen	)	.	who's	gonna	stop	this	?	i'll	give	you	three	guesses	,	and	the	first	two	don't	count	.	this	whole	thing	sounds	like	a	bad	troma	(	tm	)	film	,	but	it	turns	out	to	be	pretty	fun	.	the	turtles	all	have	discernable	personalities	,	and	they're	fun	ones	at	that	.	they	tend	to	make	a	lot	of	jokes	,	and	just	about	all	of	the	wisecracks	hit	home	.	it's	not	just	a	bunch	of	now	old	news	pop	culture	references	,	as	i	remember	the	third	film	being	chock	full	of	.	this	is	stuff	that	could	actually	still	seem	funny	years	from	now	.	koteas	makes	a	memorable	role	himself	here	,	if	not	an	entirely	fulfilling	one	he	could've	used	more	screen	time	.	hoag	is	also	good	in	her	part	,	doing	a	fine	job	at	portraying	the	disbelieving	friend	of	the	large	reptiles	.	but	the	real	stars	here	are	the	turtles	,	and	rightfully	so	.	the	technical	expertise	on	display	in	the	turtles'	(	and	splinter's	)	suits	is	still	impressive	now	,	eight	years	later	.	the	facial	expressions	they	get	out	of	these	animatronic	outfits	are	amazing	.	to	this	day	,	the	only	thing	to	top	this	or	come	close	would	be	the	mangalores	in	the	fifth	element	.	this	was	all	done	thanks	to	jim	henson's	workshop	of	puppeteers	.	henson	died	two	months	after	this	film	was	released	.	though	his	family	and	many	others	still	work	to	make	his	legacy	live	on	,	this	movie	is	just	another	reason	why	he	will	be	missed	.	another	great	thing	about	this	show	?	it's	so	damn	loyal	its	roots	.	the	original	(	four	?	)	issues	of	eastman	and	laird's	dark	teenage	mutant	ninja	turtles	comic	book	are	replicated	pretty	faithfully	by	the	movie's	plot	now	there's	something	you	don't	see	very	often	in	comic	films	today	.	this	sure	kicks	the	pants	off	of	a	comic	based	movie	like	batman	robin	.	sure	,	the	blood	is	gone	,	and	there's	more	humor	and	the	turtles	wear	different	colored	masks	but	otherwise	,	this	follows	that	original	series	nicely	down	to	the	big	finish	.	so	go	on	,	don't	be	afraid	,	i	don't	care	how	old	you	are	if	you	have	the	time	,	check	out	teenage	mutant	ninja	turtles	.	you	might	want	to	avoid	the	sequels	unless	you	really	love	the	turtles	.	incidentally	,	what	was	with	tatsu's	(	toshir	obata	,	voiced	by	michael	mcconnohie	)	funky	hand	signals	when	he	said	"	go	,	play	"	to	that	one	kid	in	the	warehouse	?	that	just	killed	me	.	unintentional	comedy	there	,	i'd	say	.	if	you	can	never	watch	any	film	with	such	a	premise	,	refuse	to	accept	it	,	or	just	hate	these	turtles	,	then	you	can	drop	my	rating	down	about	1	2	a	star	or	maybe	a	full	star	.	if	you're	a	huge	turtle	fan	(	i	don't	think	there's	any	of	those	left	.	.	.	hello	?	hello	out	there	?	)	then	you	can	add	on	another	1	2	star	.	but	if	you're	like	me	,	and	you're	in	the	mood	for	a	weird	,	fun	time	.	.	.
pos	wilde	(	uk	,	1997	)	1	3	directed	by	brian	gilbert	.	written	by	julian	mitchell	,	from	the	book	"	oscar	wilde	"	by	richard	ellmann	.	photography	,	martin	fuhrer	.	editing	,	michael	bradsell	.	production	design	,	maria	djurkovic	.	music	,	debbie	wiseman	;	produced	by	marc	samuelson	peter	samuelson	.	cast	:	stephen	fry	(	oscar	wilde	)	,	jude	law	(	lord	alfred	douglas	)	,	vanessa	redgrave	(	lady	speranza	wilde	)	,	jennifer	ehle	(	constance	wilde	)	,	gemma	jones	(	lady	queensberry	)	,	judy	parfitt	(	lady	mount	temple	)	,	michael	sheen	(	robert	ross	)	,	zoe	wanamaker	(	ada	leverson	)	,	tom	wilkinson	(	the	marquess	of	queensberry	)	.	a	sony	classics	release	.	116	minutes	.	r	(	sex	,	full	rear	male	nudity	)	because	i	take	for	granted	that	oscar	wilde	the	writer	,	the	man	and	his	wit	are	familiar	to	the	film's	potential	public	,	i	will	not	go	into	a	general	intro	.	wilde's	homosexuality	(	a	crime	under	english	law	until	the	late	1960s	)	,	his	famous	affair	with	lord	alfred	douglas	,	and	the	ensuing	trials	that	finished	off	poor	oscar	,	have	made	him	a	"	cause	celebre	"	if	i	am	not	mistaken	,	the	first	of	that	nature	in	modern	history	.	understandably	,	all	this	has	made	of	wilde	a	patron	saint	of	gay	artists	.	among	the	many	cinema	genres	,	few	can	be	as	difficult	and	as	vulnerable	to	criticism	as	the	biographical	picture	.	biopics	are	compromises	.	to	relate	a	life	or	part	of	one	and	remain	faithful	to	history	in	two	hours	of	film	is	an	impossibility	,	one	that	is	even	nastier	than	screen	adaptations	of	major	novels	.	condensations	,	simplifications	,	selected	episodes	are	unavoidable	.	a	case	in	point	is	the	set	of	biopics	directed	by	william	dieterle	in	the	1930s	and	early	1940s	.	they	were	all	reverent	works	on	major	figures	:	louis	pasteur	(	with	paul	muni	,	oscared	)	,	florence	nightingale	,	emile	zola	(	best	picture	1937	,	also	with	muni	)	,	juarez	(	with	muni	)	,	reuter	(	with	e	.	g	.	robinson	)	,	dr	.	erlich	(	robinson	)	well	made	,	using	major	actors	in	both	main	and	supporting	roles	,	these	works	were	big	popular	hits	in	their	time	.	but	today	,	with	audiences	and	critics	,	movies	in	that	style	would	get	a	much	more	cautious	reception	.	even	the	sacrosanct	epic	"	napoleon	"	(	1927	,	by	abel	gance	)	might	be	but	is	not	faulted	for	historical	inaccuracies	.	dieterle	and	his	likes	represented	the	old	school	of	biopics	.	after	a	transition	period	(	e	.	g	.	wilson	,	the	desert	fox	,	viva	zapata	)	came	the	new	school	,	in	which	no	two	of	the	better	films	followed	the	same	strategy	.	creative	and	unconventional	treatments	days	were	given	so	such	masterful	works	as	and	i	cite	a	few	pell	mell	raging	bull	,	van	gogh	,	chaplin	,	joe	hill	,	lenny	,	lawrence	of	arabia	,	malcolm	x	,	tous	les	matins	du	monde	,	vincent	and	theo	,	stevie	,	camille	claudel	,	rosa	luxemburg	,	hanussen	,	an	angel	at	my	table	,	ed	wood	.	.	.	although	wilde	,	was	not	an	easy	item	to	tackle	,	it	acquits	itself	honorably	.	there	must	have	been	good	rapport	between	director	and	writer	.	brian	gilbert	,	who	made	the	funny	,	witty	vice	versa	,	the	underrated	not	without	my	daughter	,	then	tom	and	viv	,	opted	here	for	a	masterpiece	theatre	ivory	merchant	style	,	unrevolutionary	but	fitting	the	subject	.	versatile	novelist	playwright	julian	mitchell	is	the	author	of	many	scenarios	,	including	those	of	arabesque	,	another	country	,	vincent	and	theo	,	august	(	the	directorial	debut	of	anthony	hopkins	)	not	to	mention	nine	episodes	of	that	civilized	delight	,	the	inspector	morse	tv	series	.	mitchell	had	already	worked	on	another	gay	theme	i	know	of	,	in	his	prize	winning	stage	play	another	country	which	is	about	1930s	students	public	school	students	for	whom	homosexuality	was	trendy	.	years	later	,	as	in	the	notorious	guy	burgess	and	donald	maclean	case	,	several	government	officials	were	found	spying	for	the	soviet	union	.	a	very	good	film	was	made	of	this	.	it	starred	rupert	everett	.	the	script	was	by	mitchell	.	for	the	current	movie	the	third	about	wilde	mitchell	based	his	scenario	on	the	admirable	biography	by	richard	ellmann	.	the	great	scholar	and	critic	finished	this	long	labor	of	love	as	he	was	dying	of	lou	gehrig'	s	disease	.	he	died	in	march	1987	.	the	book	appeared	in	early	1988	.	there	is	no	way	for	a	film	script	to	reconstruct	a	680	page	volume	.	the	scenario	wisely	opted	for	selective	choices	and	inspirations	.	it	is	faithful	to	ellmann's	belief	that	wilde	was	as	original	and	major	a	writer	,	and	a	cultural	influence	,	as	he	was	a	man	who	invented	his	own	public	persona	,	as	wit	,	esthete	,	dandy	,	poseur	,	society	lion	and	,	among	much	else	,	a	sly	critic	of	the	middle	and	upper	classes	of	england	,	the	very	people	who	were	the	butt	of	wilde's	plays	yet	applauded	them	.	the	film	does	not	go	into	wilde's	irish	and	english	past	and	upbringing	.	it	plunges	right	away	into	an	already	established	oscar	who	marries	constance	.	his	wife	,	in	older	parlance	"	gave	him	two	boys	"	.	robert	ross	,	a	younger	houseguest	,	reveals	to	wilde	that	he	(	oscar	)	is	really	a	homosexual	.	a	relationship	starts	between	the	two	.	it	is	followed	by	others	,	culminates	in	the	love	affair	between	wilde	and	handsome	,	some	20	years	younger	lord	alfred	douglas	(	"	bosie	"	)	.	it's	a	bizarre	affair	.	oscar's	love	is	steadfast	,	while	the	capricious	,	self	spoiled	bosie	blows	hot	and	cold	,	introduces	oscar	to	lower	class	people	,	often	insults	,	hurts	,	exploits	,	taunts	him	and	is	despicable	.	he	flaunts	their	couple	in	public	,	also	taunts	his	father	.	the	latter	,	played	by	tom	wilkinson	who	has	a	very	different	role	in	the	full	monty	is	here	the	wealthy	marquess	of	queensberry	,	a	crude	,	rude	,	violent	sportsman	whom	bosie	hates	.	(	he	is	the	same	lord	queensberry	after	whom	the	basic	codes	for	boxing	were	named	,	although	another	sportsman	wrote	them	)	.	delightful	is	the	movie's	inclusion	of	some	aspects	of	wilde's	enormously	growing	fame	as	a	playwright	,	plus	much	wildean	humor	,	wit	,	and	the	expected	wildean	thoughts	and	epigrams	.	but	concurrently	as	well	as	exponentially	,	we	see	the	sadness	of	the	man's	public	and	private	life	,	the	unavoidable	troubles	and	scandals	.	the	tragedy	,	latent	throughout	the	writer's	life	,	now	springs	out	of	the	closet	.	it	becomes	all	the	more	painful	to	watch	since	wilde	is	a	most	likable	fellow	,	generous	to	a	fault	,	and	never	really	inflicting	harm	or	hurt	on	others	.	actor	stephen	fry	is	an	uncanny	match	for	wilde	.	he	even	looks	like	him	,	though	taller	,	less	rotund	,	and	with	a	face	not	so	soft	as	in	the	photographs	of	wilde	.	fry	,	also	a	writer	and	a	wit	,	temperamental	,	unpredictable	,	rather	sweet	,	openly	gay	,	is	a	rare	case	of	perfect	casting	.	superior	too	is	the	casting	of	lord	alfred	douglas	and	that	of	robert	ross	.	robbie	remains	through	thick	and	thin	oscar's	true	friend	and	helper	,	and	the	voice	of	reason	.	because	we	know	how	everything	comes	out	,	the	earlier	and	or	some	lighter	scenes	are	made	suspenseful	as	we	wait	for	the	axe	to	fall	.	and	we	wish	that	the	so	smart	oscar	had	not	been	so	dumb	as	to	be	prodded	by	bosie	into	initiating	that	terrible	libel	suit	against	queensberry	.	if	there	was	a	time	when	"	don't	ask	,	don't	tell	"	was	the	best	possible	advice	,	it	was	in	victorian	days	.
pos	dreamworks	skg	1	:	37	1997	pg	(	language	,	slapstick	violence	,	comic	sensuality	)	cast	:	nathan	lane	;	lee	evans	;	christopher	walken	;	vicki	lewis	;	eric	christmas	;	maury	chaykin	;	william	hickey	director	:	gore	verbinski	screenplay	:	adam	rifkin	mickey	mouse	had	better	watch	his	back	there's	a	new	critter	in	town	,	and	he's	the	nameless	animal	attraction	of	"	mouse	hunt	,	"	dreamworks	skg's	clever	first	foray	into	family	fare	.	although	it	runs	out	of	steam	towards	its	end	,	this	live	action	comedy	still	boasts	enough	energized	slapstick	and	inventive	set	pieces	to	best	disney's	entire	1997	non	animated	,	kiddie	oriented	catalog	.	.	.	but	consider	that	list	includes	dismal	tripe	like	"	air	bud	,	"	"	flubber	"	and	"	that	darn	cat	,	"	and	it's	really	not	such	a	difficult	feat	to	pull	off	.	still	,	throw	the	two	rodents	in	a	boxing	arena	,	and	i'll	be	hoping	that	the	mouse	from	"	mouse	hunt	"	knocks	some	sense	back	into	mickey	.	nathan	lane	(	robin	williams'	significant	other	from	"	the	birdcage	"	)	and	lee	evans	(	last	seen	as	a	nervous	bellhop	in	"	the	fifth	element	"	)	play	ernie	and	lars	smuntz	,	befuddled	brothers	who	have	just	inherited	two	unwanted	assets	from	their	late	father	(	william	hickey	,	in	his	last	role	)	a	dilapidated	old	string	factory	and	a	dilapidated	old	mansion	.	although	lars	made	a	deathbed	promise	to	upkeep	the	former	,	he	and	ernie	decide	to	sell	the	latter	for	big	bucks	after	learning	it	was	designed	by	a	famed	architect	.	but	there's	a	lone	obstacle	in	their	way	a	single	mouse	lives	within	the	walls	of	the	house	,	and	he's	not	about	to	give	up	his	place	of	residence	without	a	fight	.	movies	aimed	at	young	audiences	are	rarely	this	visually	exquisite	.	the	effects	blending	the	talents	of	60	some	live	mice	,	one	animatronic	mouse	and	one	computer	generated	mouse	are	pretty	seamless	.	the	splendid	production	design	seems	to	be	straight	out	of	tim	burton's	mind	;	the	smuntz's	architecturally	unsound	mansion	is	like	something	straight	out	of	"	the	nightmare	before	christmas	,	"	and	the	vortex	of	bizarre	machinery	in	their	factory	resembles	some	of	vincent	price's	warped	contraptions	from	"	edward	scissorhands	.	"	"	mouse	hunt	"	is	a	pretty	dark	movie	even	some	of	the	humor	can	be	grim	but	it's	hardly	ever	mean	spirited	.	the	star	of	the	show	is	neither	the	top	billed	lane	nor	the	titular	mouse	.	it's	lanky	british	comedian	evans	,	whose	hysterical	bodily	antics	suggest	a	cleaned	up	jim	carrey	without	the	obnoxious	overkill	(	note	a	toned	down	but	nonetheless	outrageous	impromptu	striptease	)	;	evans'	banter	with	the	ever	affable	lane	is	funny	stuff	,	too	,	and	holds	its	own	against	the	movie's	more	flashy	physical	shtick	.	vicki	lewis	(	beth	from	"	newsradio	"	)	is	solid	in	a	supporting	role	as	lars'	money	grubbing	wife	.	and	in	a	nifty	bit	of	novelty	casting	,	christopher	walken	is	a	macabre	delight	as	a	spooky	exterminator	who	takes	his	job	a	little	too	seriously	,	popping	a	dropping	into	his	mouth	and	noting	to	his	tape	recorder	that	the	mouse	has	a	"	calcium	deficiency	.	"	blech	.	a	basically	one	joke	idea	a	mouse	outsmarts	a	couple	of	bumbling	humans	is	given	a	rather	engaging	execution	.	their	sparring	is	imaginatively	realized	(	i	don't	think	i'll	ever	forget	the	sight	of	that	tiny	little	mouse	making	his	getaway	on	a	rolling	wheel	of	gouda	)	,	and	although	you	really	never	fully	root	for	either	side	,	that's	okay	a	warm	and	fuzzy	union	between	the	two	parties	is	practically	promised	from	the	first	frame	they	share	.	"	mouse	hunt	"	may	take	a	while	to	get	going	(	the	rather	lengthy	set	up	could	test	the	patience	of	some	of	the	younger	children	,	although	i	rather	liked	it	,	much	in	part	to	lane	and	evans	)	,	and	the	climactic	sequence	is	allowed	to	play	out	for	a	bit	too	long	,	but	this	appears	to	be	one	family	movie	that	most	members	of	the	family	will	be	able	to	find	agreeable	,	not	unlike	the	original	"	home	alone	.	"	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
pos	director	:	marshall	herskovitz	screenplay	:	jeannine	dominy	(	based	on	the	book	"	the	honest	courtesan	"	by	margaret	rosenthal	)	stars	:	catherine	mccormack	(	veronica	franco	)	,	rufus	sewell	(	marco	venier	)	,	jacqueline	bisset	(	paola	franco	)	,	oliver	platt	(	maffio	venier	)	,	moira	kelly	(	beatrice	venier	)	,	fred	ward	(	domenico	venier	)	,	naomi	watts	(	guila	de	lezze	)	,	jeroen	krabb	(	pietro	venier	)	,	joanna	cassidy	(	laura	venier	)	,	daniel	lapaine	(	serafino	franco	)	,	jake	weber	(	king	henry	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	review	:	(	out	of	)	"	dangerous	beauty	"	is	a	really	nothing	more	than	a	grandiose	soap	opera	set	in	venice	circa	1583	.	it	is	beautifully	filmed	,	wonderfully	acted	,	and	certainly	nothing	short	of	entertaining	,	but	it	lacks	any	true	fundamental	seriousness	.	dealing	with	themes	of	forbidden	love	,	religious	intolerance	,	subordination	of	women	,	sexual	freedom	,	and	the	roles	of	pleasure	and	sin	in	a	high	cultured	society	,	it	still	feels	like	brightly	lit	fluff	.	the	director	,	marshall	herskovitz	,	doesn't	want	to	follow	the	dark	and	dangerous	trail	this	story	could	lead	down	,	so	he	opts	for	a	more	genial	,	livelier	,	and	relatively	shallow	interpretation	.	the	film	takes	place	during	the	renaissance	,	a	time	when	venice	was	the	pleasure	capital	of	europe	.	at	this	time	,	venice	was	its	own	republic	,	and	it	thrived	on	being	the	central	juncture	of	east	west	commerce	.	the	film	is	told	almost	entirely	through	the	viewpoint	of	the	aristocracy	and	the	bourgeoisie	of	venice	,	so	we	rarely	get	to	see	how	the	rest	of	the	society	lived	.	however	,	there	is	an	abundance	of	detail	concerning	the	lives	and	livelihoods	of	the	upper	classes	,	their	hedonistic	lifestyles	and	constant	merriment	.	the	story	centers	on	veronica	franco	(	catherine	mccormack	)	,	a	lower	class	woman	who	falls	in	love	with	marco	venier	(	rufus	sewell	)	,	the	son	of	wealthy	aristocratic	parents	(	jeroen	krabb	and	joanna	cassidy	)	.	unfortunately	,	the	culture	of	that	time	period	did	not	view	marriage	as	an	act	of	love	rather	,	it	was	more	like	a	business	transaction	,	where	rich	families	married	their	sons	and	daughters	to	each	other	in	order	to	secure	power	,	wealth	,	and	ensure	that	outsiders	couldn't	get	in	.	veronica	,	despite	her	charm	and	good	looks	,	is	certainly	an	outsider	.	after	a	short	love	affair	,	marco	breaks	her	heart	with	the	news	that	he	cannot	marry	her	.	however	,	because	she	is	beautiful	and	intelligent	,	veronica	has	a	chance	to	enter	marco's	world	,	albeit	not	as	his	wife	.	she	decides	to	become	a	courtesan	a	class	of	women	who	were	as	well	educated	as	they	were	ravishing	,	and	sold	their	sexuality	to	wealthy	men	for	the	privilege	of	wining	and	dining	with	the	elite	.	a	courtesan	was	not	a	mere	prostitute	;	they	were	afforded	a	special	place	in	society	,	and	they	were	greatly	revered	,	respected	,	and	often	envied	.	at	one	point	,	a	character	mentions	that	some	rulers	obtain	more	political	advice	from	their	courtesans	than	from	their	lieutenants	.	veronica	goes	through	the	transformation	with	the	help	of	her	mother	,	paola	(	jacqueline	bisset	)	,	who	was	once	a	famed	courtesan	herself	.	once	she	enters	the	lifestyle	,	veronica	finds	that	it	suits	her	quite	well	.	she	is	allowed	to	read	all	the	books	she	wants	,	she	is	given	the	opportunity	to	publish	her	poetry	,	and	she	has	the	richest	and	most	powerful	men	in	the	republic	throwing	themselves	at	her	feet	,	including	the	awestruck	marco	.	their	relationship	develops	into	a	playful	bantering	,	with	veronica	utilizing	her	newfound	power	by	constantly	rejecting	marco's	advances	.	in	many	ways	,	their	relationship	is	sad	because	marco	is	married	to	a	women	he	is	unable	to	love	,	and	veronica	is	consumed	by	multiple	relationships	with	men	she	is	unwilling	to	love	.	"	love	the	love	,	not	the	man	,	"	as	her	mother	told	her	.	"	dangerous	beauty	,	"	which	was	based	on	a	factual	book	by	margaret	rosenthal	,	flows	along	as	smoothly	and	serenely	as	the	grand	canal	running	through	the	heart	of	venice	.	it	has	multiple	plot	lines	including	veronica's	adversarial	relationship	with	a	court	poet	(	oliver	platt	)	,	her	role	in	obtaining	france's	military	assistance	in	venice's	battle	against	the	turks	,	and	even	the	dreaded	shadow	of	the	plague	and	the	encroachment	of	the	spanish	inquisition	yet	it	is	never	confusing	or	overbearing	.	much	of	the	film's	success	is	due	to	the	glowing	performance	by	catherine	mccormack	in	the	lead	role	.	known	chiefly	for	the	small	part	she	played	as	the	lover	whose	murder	raised	mel	gibson's	ire	in	"	braveheart	"	(	1995	)	,	mccormack	shows	the	true	gifts	and	inarguable	talent	of	a	leading	lady	.	she	has	the	kind	of	exquisite	classical	beauty	that	would	be	treasured	in	a	courtesan	;	her	character	is	intelligent	,	witty	,	and	both	sensual	and	vulnerable	,	all	of	which	mccormack	easily	transmits	with	a	single	flash	of	her	eyes	.	the	rest	of	the	roles	are	also	filled	well	,	including	rufus	sewell	whose	performance	here	and	earlier	this	month	in	"	dark	city	"	have	assured	him	a	solid	place	in	hollywood	.	he	has	the	same	kind	of	unusual	good	looks	and	charm	of	ray	liotta	,	and	he	seems	perfectly	at	home	in	period	dramas	.	oliver	platt	plays	a	variation	of	the	comic	relief	role	that	he	has	come	to	inhabit	like	a	second	skin	,	although	the	film	deals	his	character	a	cheap	blow	at	the	end	by	having	him	improbably	join	the	inquisition	and	turn	into	the	bad	guy	.	platt	is	a	good	actor	,	but	he's	just	too	hard	to	hate	.	jacqueline	bisset	proves	that	she	is	every	bit	as	stirring	as	she	ever	was	,	and	even	fred	ward	turns	up	in	a	small	,	but	moving	performance	as	marco's	uncle	.	"	dangerous	beauty	"	is	marshall	herskovitz's	sophomore	directorial	effort	,	after	the	overlooked	1993	film	"	jack	the	bear	.	"	partnered	with	edward	zwick	,	herskovitz	has	spent	most	of	his	time	as	a	producer	on	television	(	"	thirtysomething	,	"	"	my	so	called	life	"	)	and	in	the	movies	(	"	legends	of	the	fall	"	)	.	his	directing	style	can	be	best	described	as	transparent	it	never	gets	in	the	way	of	the	story	,	yet	it	has	no	discernible	flourish	or	particular	distinctions	.	he	could	have	approached	the	film	in	any	number	of	ways	,	including	overdosing	on	the	sexual	aspect	,	which	he	wisely	avoids	.	"	dangerous	beauty	"	contains	just	enough	bare	flesh	and	ribald	sex	to	make	it	appropriately	erotic	,	but	not	so	much	that	it	seems	exploitative	.	herskovitz	is	also	aided	by	a	strong	supporting	crew	,	including	the	luscious	photography	by	bojan	bazelli	,	whose	previous	efforts	include	the	highly	stylized	thriller	"	kalifornia	"	(	1993	)	and	abel	ferrara's	dark	sci	fi	film	"	body	snatchers	"	(	1994	)	.	bazelli	captures	the	film	in	strong	,	bold	colors	,	and	be	brings	sixteenth	century	venice	to	life	in	wide	,	panoramic	shots	that	are	often	enhanced	with	digital	imagery	.	however	,	the	real	details	are	found	in	the	production	design	by	norman	garwood	(	"	brazil	,	"	"	the	princess	bride	"	)	and	the	costumes	by	gabriella	pescucci	(	"	the	age	of	innocence	"	)	.	the	only	problem	with	"	dangerous	beauty	"	is	that	it	doesn't	stick	with	you	.	it's	a	good	story	well	told	with	interesting	characters	,	but	it's	easy	to	shrug	off	once	you've	left	the	theater	.	the	only	sequence	that	has	the	chance	to	be	truly	indelible	is	veronica	being	pulled	in	front	of	the	hypocrisy	of	the	inquisition	and	threatened	with	the	death	penalty	for	her	transgressions	,	but	it	never	quite	comes	off	because	it's	simply	too	melodramatic	and	conventional	.	herskovitz	tries	with	all	his	might	to	make	it	a	nailbiter	,	but	somehow	its	outcome	is	a	foregone	conclusion	,	and	like	the	rest	of	the	film	,	it	carries	no	real	weight	,	despite	the	potential	severity	of	the	subject	matter	.
pos	director	:	melvin	van	peebles	screenplay	:	melvin	van	peebles	stars	:	melvin	van	peebles	(	sweetback	)	,	simon	chuckster	(	beetle	)	,	hubert	scales	(	mu	mu	)	,	john	dullaghan	(	commissioner	)	,	rhetta	hughes	(	old	girl	friend	)	,	mario	van	peebles	(	young	sweetback	)	,	john	amos	(	motorcycle	guy	)	mpaa	rating	:	x	hr	melvin	van	peebles'	"	sweet	sweetback's	baadasssss	song	"	was	a	watershed	moment	in	the	history	of	american	cinema	and	the	black	movement	.	it	was	released	less	than	a	decade	after	the	civil	rights	movement	had	begun	and	almost	twenty	years	before	the	rodney	king	incident	.	its	violent	and	highly	sexualized	revenge	tale	of	a	macho	black	hustler	fighting	back	against	white	oppression	and	winning	was	something	that	had	never	been	seen	on	an	american	movie	screen	before	.	in	style	,	content	,	and	how	it	was	conceived	and	produced	,	"	sweet	sweetback	"	was	a	cinematic	revolution	,	whether	or	not	one	agrees	with	its	subject	matter	.	van	peebles	,	a	black	american	who	first	gained	recognition	by	writing	novels	in	france	,	built	"	sweet	sweetback	"	from	the	ground	up	almost	entirely	by	himself	.	because	no	studio	would	dare	fund	such	a	film	,	he	was	forced	to	raise	all	the	money	himself	.	the	movie	ended	up	costing	about	500	,	000	,	part	of	which	was	put	up	by	none	other	than	bill	cosby	.	van	peebles	cut	costs	by	hiring	non	union	labor	and	taking	on	most	of	the	film's	responsibilities	himself	.	he	wrote	the	script	,	scored	the	music	,	edited	and	directed	the	film	,	as	well	as	starred	in	the	central	role	.	he	was	also	a	brilliant	entrepreneur	who	always	found	a	way	to	make	an	extra	buck	.	for	instance	,	when	the	mppa	slapped	the	film	with	a	dreaded	x	rating	,	van	peebles	not	only	threatened	to	bring	a	lawsuit	against	jack	valenti	and	the	mpaa	,	but	he	also	developed	a	little	marketing	scheme	:	he	coined	the	phrases	"	rated	x	by	an	all	white	jury	,	"	which	he	put	on	the	movie	posters	to	help	advertise	the	film	.	he	also	printed	the	phrase	on	tee	shirts	which	he	had	no	problem	selling	.	the	storyline	in	"	sweet	sweetback	"	is	deceptively	simple	.	it	takes	place	in	los	angeles	,	and	van	peebles	stars	as	the	title	character	,	a	tough	male	hustler	of	few	words	who	grew	up	in	a	brothel	,	and	makes	money	by	doing	what	he	does	best	:	having	sex	.	one	day	,	he	agrees	to	go	with	a	couple	of	amiable	white	cops	down	to	the	station	to	make	it	look	like	they're	bringing	in	suspects	on	a	politically	charged	case	involving	murder	.	however	,	on	the	way	to	the	station	the	cops	arrest	a	young	black	revolutionary	named	mu	mu	(	hubert	scales	)	,	who	they	proceed	to	beat	viciously	.	acting	out	of	complete	impulse	rather	than	political	motivation	,	sweetback	fights	back	and	beats	the	cops	to	the	brink	of	death	.	the	rest	of	the	film	follows	sweetback	as	he	evades	the	cops	on	his	way	to	eventual	escape	in	mexico	.	although	the	repetition	of	watching	sweetback	run	gets	a	little	old	by	the	end	of	the	film	,	this	plot	allows	van	peebles'	camera	to	roam	the	darker	side	of	l	.	a	.	the	ghettos	,	alleys	,	and	back	street	whorehouses	that	other	films	had	always	overlooked	.	van	peebles'	entire	point	in	making	the	movie	was	to	secure	on	celluloid	a	vision	of	the	black	experience	in	america	that	other	filmmakers	had	ignored	.	at	the	beginning	of	"	sweet	sweetback	,	"	he	offers	this	epigraph	,	which	is	a	traditional	prologue	used	in	medieval	times	when	a	messenger	brought	bad	news	:	"	sire	,	these	lines	are	not	an	homage	to	brutality	that	the	artist	has	invented	,	but	a	hymn	from	the	mouth	of	reality	.	.	.	"	van	peebles	wanted	to	make	sure	that	his	vision	was	one	of	reality	,	not	of	exaggeration	.	of	course	,	with	today's	abundance	of	rap	and	hip	hop	music	that	sings	the	same	ode	to	black	inner	city	life	,	as	well	as	films	by	spike	lee	,	john	singleton	,	and	the	hughes	brothers	,	"	sweet	sweetback	"	doesn't	seem	all	that	revolutionary	.	it	is	important	to	remember	that	this	film	must	be	viewed	in	the	context	and	time	period	in	which	it	was	made	.	at	that	time	,	"	sweet	sweetback	"	was	so	controversial	that	only	two	theaters	in	the	entire	united	states	would	play	it	.	distributors	were	petrified	of	a	film	that	,	in	van	peebles'	words	,	gave	the	black	audience	"	a	chance	to	see	some	of	their	own	fantasies	acted	out	about	rising	out	of	the	mud	and	kicking	ass	.	"	of	course	,	once	it	caught	on	,	it	caught	on	big	.	"	sweet	sweetback	"	is	now	considered	to	be	the	film	that	kicked	off	the	blaxploitation	era	,	although	van	peebles	disassociates	"	sweetback	"	from	other	movies	like	"	shaft	"	(	1972	)	and	"	the	mack	"	(	1973	)	,	because	those	were	financed	by	big	hollywood	studios	.	"	sweet	sweetback	"	is	also	the	only	film	deemed	mandatory	viewing	by	the	black	panthers	.	however	,	even	if	when	viewed	from	an	african	american	perspective	,	"	sweet	sweetback	"	is	certainly	not	without	its	controversies	.	when	it	was	first	released	,	an	article	was	published	in	"	ebony	"	magazine	denouncing	the	film	,	while	at	the	same	time	the	black	panthers	used	an	entire	newsletter	to	praise	it	.	there	have	been	arguments	that	the	victory	for	sweetback	is	really	no	victory	at	all	beating	cops	and	then	running	away	to	mexico	is	nothing	to	be	proud	of	.	others	have	pointed	out	that	sweetback	has	little	to	say	throughout	the	film	;	he	has	no	political	motivations	,	and	therefore	the	violence	and	havoc	he	wreaks	is	not	rooted	in	fundamental	beliefs	,	but	in	personal	and	selfish	motives	.	still	others	point	to	the	clich	black	potency	that	stereotypes	sweetback	as	being	good	at	nothing	but	having	sex	,	illustrated	in	a	scene	where	he	gains	the	respect	of	a	white	biker	group	by	bringing	their	female	leader	to	orgasm	.	nevertheless	,	a	movie	like	"	sweet	sweetback	"	cannot	be	made	without	conflicting	points	of	view	.	it	is	a	revolutionary	movie	not	because	it's	about	one	man's	defiance	,	but	because	it	put	front	and	center	black	issues	that	had	never	been	dealt	with	before	.	until	that	point	,	american	cinema	was	an	almost	exclusively	white	domain	,	and	with	the	exception	of	sidney	poitier	,	all	black	actors	were	relegated	to	specifically	black	roles	that	were	important	only	in	relation	to	whites	.	the	fact	that	"	sweet	sweetback	"	was	a	movie	by	black	about	blacks	,	was	something	new	(	in	the	opening	credits	,	van	peebles	lists	the	starring	actors	as	simply	"	the	black	community	"	)	.	van	peebles	tells	an	interesting	story	that	goes	a	long	way	toward	defining	the	difference	between	"	sweet	sweetback	"	and	all	movies	that	had	come	before	it	.	when	the	movie	first	opened	,	he	saw	it	in	a	theater	next	to	an	older	woman	.	near	the	end	of	the	film	,	when	sweetback	is	wounded	by	the	police	and	stumbling	through	the	southern	california	desert	,	she	kept	saying	to	herself	,	"	oh	lord	,	let	him	die	.	don't	let	them	kill	him	.	let	him	die	on	his	own	.	"	it	was	so	ingrained	in	her	mind	that	death	was	imminent	for	any	african	american	in	a	movie	who	rebelled	against	white	authority	,	that	she	couldn't	even	conceive	of	the	possibility	that	the	film	might	end	with	his	successful	escape	.	and	,	of	course	,	sweetback	does	escape	,	and	the	screen	fills	with	the	message	:	"	watch	out	!	a	baad	asssss	nigger	is	coming	back	to	collect	some	dues	.	"	beyond	the	political	aspects	,	"	sweet	sweetback	"	is	an	entertaining	picture	,	which	van	peebles	always	intended	it	to	be	.	he	squeezed	every	drop	out	of	his	limited	budget	,	and	produced	a	film	that	,	although	dated	now	,	was	technically	fantastic	at	the	time	.	he	shot	in	rough	,	documentary	like	fashion	,	while	also	utilizing	almost	every	visual	and	aural	trick	his	technology	would	allow	him	.	he	makes	good	use	of	older	techniques	like	split	screens	,	freeze	frames	,	reversed	color	schemes	,	and	overlapping	images	.	the	only	time	the	film	ever	looks	bad	is	during	the	night	sequences	,	because	van	peebles	simply	did	not	have	the	needed	equipment	.	watching	"	sweet	sweetback	"	more	than	twenty	five	years	after	its	initial	release	,	one	realizes	that	it	still	has	bite	.	arguments	can	be	made	that	race	relations	in	the	united	states	have	made	quantum	leaps	since	the	early	seventies	,	but	there	are	still	problems	that	are	reflected	in	this	film	.	but	there	is	more	to	the	film	than	its	racial	aspect	.	the	legacy	of	"	sweet	sweetback's	baadasssss	song	"	is	not	only	the	plentiful	amount	of	art	and	music	told	from	the	african	american	perspective	,	but	more	importantly	,	the	work	of	every	artist	who	has	fought	to	fund	and	produce	that	which	is	important	to	him	.
pos	cast	:	matthew	mcconaughey	,	bill	paxton	,	harvey	keitel	,	jon	bon	jovi	,	jake	weber	,	david	keith	,	jack	noseworthy	written	by	:	jonathan	mostow	,	sam	montgomery	and	david	ayer	directed	by	:	jonathan	mostow	running	time	:	118	minutes	the	"	submarine	"	genre	of	movies	seems	to	be	one	of	the	most	intriguing	and	compelling	types	of	storytelling	there	is	.	think	about	it	.	.	.	these	films	are	completely	based	in	reality	,	yet	only	a	handful	of	people	have	ever	been	on	one	,	making	them	fascinating	to	the	general	public	.	they	aren't	like	movies	that	take	place	on	a	plane	or	a	train	,	as	anybody	can	get	on	one	of	those	.	and	they	aren't	like	movies	that	happen	in	outer	space	either	,	because	no	one's	done	any	of	that	stuff	yet	.	when	a	new	one	comes	out	,	you	don't	hear	anyone	say	"	ugh	,	another	submarine	movie	"	like	people	tend	to	say	"	ugh	,	another	boxing	movie	"	.	look	at	modern	movies	that	involve	submarines	:	das	boot	,	the	abyss	,	the	hunt	for	red	october	,	crimson	tide	.	.	.	all	are	well	regarded	as	top	notch	entertainment	.	gladly	joining	that	bunch	is	u	571	,	which	stars	matthew	mcconaughey	as	the	executive	officer	of	a	u	.	s	.	naval	submarine	during	world	war	ii	.	we	learn	he	has	been	denied	a	recommendation	for	his	own	command	by	his	superior	(	bill	paxton	)	.	mcconaughey's	crew	then	receives	orders	that	they	will	be	boarding	a	disabled	german	submarine	to	steal	the	enigma	,	a	german	communications	encoding	device	that	has	stumped	allied	intelligence	.	the	mission	goes	horribly	wrong	however	,	and	as	a	result	,	mcconaughey	and	only	a	handful	of	his	crew	(	as	well	as	a	captured	german	)	become	trapped	aboard	the	u	571	in	enemy	waters	.	the	first	great	thing	about	u	571	is	the	film's	opening	sequence	.	the	german	crew	of	u	571	are	under	attack	,	which	sets	the	events	of	the	rest	of	the	film	into	motion	.	it's	tense	,	exciting	and	fascinating	.	and	i	applaud	the	filmmakers	for	not	copping	out	and	instead	keeping	the	entire	sequence	in	german	with	english	subtitles	.	most	movies	with	a	scene	this	long	would	have	panicked	and	had	the	german	crew	speaking	english	right	away	.	once	the	plot	gets	moving	,	u	571	gives	us	action	sequence	after	action	sequence	,	making	the	audience	wonder	"	ok	,	now	how	do	they	get	out	of	this	?	"	.	the	stakes	keep	raising	(	much	like	in	executive	decision	,	an	excellent	action	thriller	)	,	and	even	though	the	audience	knows	how	the	film	will	end	,	it's	a	lot	of	fun	getting	there	.	i	only	have	two	minor	complaints	about	the	entire	film	.	the	first	comes	from	the	scenes	which	follow	the	opening	sequence	.	while	their	purpose	is	to	introduce	us	to	the	characters	and	to	get	the	story	going	(	which	they	do	)	,	i	feel	as	though	it	could	have	been	done	much	quicker	,	and	less	conventionally	.	i	mean	,	did	we	really	have	to	see	the	ship's	crew	at	a	wedding	?	because	of	that	,	you	now	know	exactly	what's	going	to	happen	to	the	groom	!	my	other	gripe	would	be	during	the	film's	finale	.	there's	an	explosion	which	ends	the	film	that	is	one	of	the	weakest	looking	cgi	effects	since	the	president's	plane	crashed	into	the	ocean	at	the	end	of	air	force	one	.	i	cannot	stress	this	enough	.	.	.	until	a	cgi	effect	can	be	made	to	look	like	a	model	effect	,	stick	with	using	models	.	yes	,	u	571	is	historically	incorrect	and	there	are	surely	some	specifics	in	the	plot	that	people	who	have	been	onboard	a	submarine	will	tell	you	"	that	couldn't	happen	"	,	but	the	overall	point	of	this	film	is	entertainment	.	it	succeeds	fantastically	.	pg	13	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	steven	spielberg's	"	amistad	,	"	which	is	based	on	the	true	story	of	a	group	of	africans	who	revolted	on	board	a	slave	ship	,	then	were	captured	and	taken	to	america	where	a	legal	dispute	ensued	over	who	"	owned	"	them	,	is	concerned	with	several	different	aspects	of	this	story	.	first	,	the	film	addresses	the	issue	of	the	inherent	evils	of	slavery	.	second	,	it	deals	with	the	historical	involvement	of	several	american	politicians	in	the	case	,	including	president	martin	van	buren	and	former	president	john	quincy	adams	(	anthony	hopkins	)	.	last	,	and	most	importantly	,	it	examines	the	cultural	confusion	experienced	by	the	africans	who	were	forced	into	slavery	and	the	damage	done	to	their	native	culture	in	africa	by	the	slave	trade	.	"	amistad	"	succeeds	at	least	partly	with	all	three	of	these	elements	.	i	have	to	admit	that	i	was	a	little	skeptical	as	to	how	much	i	could	really	get	out	of	another	"	anti	slavery	"	movie	.	having	seen	several	other	movies	and	documentaries	about	slavery	,	i	doubted	that	there	was	much	i	didn't	already	know	about	it	.	fortunately	,	i	turned	out	to	be	wrong	.	for	one	thing	,	spielberg's	camera	never	once	gets	near	a	southern	plantation	and	instead	sticks	to	the	slave	ships	and	the	slave	traders'	operations	in	africa	,	so	"	amistad	"	was	dealing	with	a	different	part	of	the	history	of	slavery	from	the	very	beginning	.	and	some	of	the	images	here	are	,	in	fact	,	much	more	harrowing	than	what	we	usually	see	in	movies	about	slavery	.	one	scene	in	the	middle	,	in	which	the	crew	of	a	slave	ship	dispose	of	some	of	their	"	excess	"	slaves	by	throwing	them	overboard	to	drown	,	has	to	be	one	of	the	most	disturbing	film	images	of	the	year	.	spielberg	digs	farther	into	the	evils	of	slavery	than	i	was	expecting	he	would	,	and	in	fact	he	probably	goes	about	as	far	as	a	movie	director	can	without	getting	an	nc	17	rating	.	the	stark	suffering	of	the	africans	is	contrasted	sharply	with	the	shallow	luxury	of	the	politicians	,	such	as	president	van	buren	and	queen	isabella	of	spain	,	whose	naval	officers	were	involved	in	the	legal	dispute	and	who	was	only	a	small	child	at	the	time	.	exposing	politicians	as	narrow	minded	,	opportunistic	hypocrites	is	fairly	standard	stuff	,	of	course	,	but	spielberg	and	writer	david	franzoni	do	it	well	enough	that	it	still	comes	off	as	something	more	than	just	a	simple	exercise	in	audience	manipulation	.	the	film	also	examines	the	contentious	nature	of	the	slavery	issue	at	the	time	,	such	that	john	quincy	adams	(	and	probably	other	politicians	like	him	)	,	who	clearly	disapproved	of	the	practice	,	was	reluctant	to	get	involved	in	the	case	until	it	was	appealed	all	the	way	to	the	supreme	court	.	the	biggest	success	of	"	amistad	"	is	probably	the	characterization	of	cinque	(	djimon	hounsou	)	,	who	emerges	as	the	de	facto	leader	of	the	kidnapped	africans	and	struggles	to	communicate	with	baldwin	(	matthew	mcconaughey	)	,	the	lawyer	who	represents	them	in	court	.	through	cinque	,	we	are	given	a	window	into	the	native	culture	,	as	he	and	the	displaced	africans	try	to	explain	to	the	prison	guards	what	they	need	for	a	proper	burial	of	a	dead	tribe	member	,	or	find	an	illustrated	version	of	the	bible	and	try	to	understand	the	story	of	jesus	christ	.	cinque	sees	the	dispute	with	a	clarity	and	simplicity	that	,	again	,	contrasts	with	the	technicalities	and	mechanics	of	the	legal	process	and	of	the	political	squabbles	.	"	what	kind	of	country	is	this	,	where	laws	'almost'	work	?	"	he	asks	baldwin	in	bewilderment	,	when	he	learns	that	the	case	must	be	re	tried	before	the	supreme	court	.	spielberg's	direction	tends	a	little	bit	towards	the	manipulative	side	at	times	,	such	as	when	he	adds	a	heavy	orchestral	swell	to	cinque's	angry	outburst	in	the	court	room	.	still	,	there	isn't	enough	of	this	for	it	to	be	a	serious	problem	.	the	main	flaw	in	this	film	,	which	prevents	it	from	earning	four	stars	,	is	that	it	seems	like	spielberg	and	franzoni	can't	quite	handle	all	of	these	issues	at	the	same	time	,	so	instead	they	settle	for	addressing	each	one	separately	and	simply	editing	the	results	into	the	same	movie	.	this	summer's	contact	,	for	example	,	dealt	with	several	issues	at	once	,	but	each	of	them	was	somehow	present	in	almost	every	scene	and	,	most	importantly	,	all	of	them	were	resolved	at	once	.	"	amistad	"	tries	to	pull	it	all	together	in	the	end	with	a	speech	from	adams	,	but	it	somehow	feels	a	little	forced	,	and	in	any	case	the	speech	itself	,	which	lasts	almost	fifteen	minutes	,	wears	out	its	welcome	about	halfway	through	.	perhaps	the	best	way	to	describe	it	is	this	:	"	amistad	"	is	three	four	star	films	edited	into	one	.	almost	every	individual	scene	works	,	but	the	final	product	is	lacking	the	necessary	focus	and	coherence	,	and	thus	is	less	than	the	sum	of	its	parts	.	however	,	i	can't	honestly	say	how	it	could	have	been	done	differently	,	and	in	any	case	the	story	comes	through	with	enough	raw	emotional	power	that	it	is	still	a	very	good	film	,	and	thus	i	recommend	it	to	anyone	who	can	handle	the	disturbing	imagery	.
pos	chad'z	rating	:	(	out	of	4	excellent	)	1999	,	r	,	103	minutes	1	hour	,	43	minutes	starring	:	sarah	polley	(	ronna	)	,	desmond	askew	(	simon	)	,	jay	mohr	(	zack	)	,	scott	wolf	(	adam	)	;	written	by	john	august	;	produced	by	matt	freeman	,	mickey	liddell	,	paul	rosenberg	;	directed	by	doug	liman	.	seen	april	16	,	1999	at	10	p	.	m	.	at	crossgates	cinema	18	(	guilderland	,	n	.	y	.	)	,	theater	15	,	by	myself	for	free	using	my	hoyts'	critic's	pass	.	theater	rating	:	1	2	:	very	good	seats	,	sound	and	picture	do	you	realize	that	every	time	you	encounter	a	new	person	you've	just	become	part	of	a	story	?	everyone	has	their	own	life	story	,	both	past	and	present	,	and	every	time	two	or	more	interact	,	they	become	part	of	each	others'	story	(	not	necessarily	an	important	or	even	significant	part	,	but	a	part	nevertheless	)	.	that	seems	to	be	the	basic	theory	behind	go	,	'	where	several	characters'	chance	encounters	all	effect	each	other	in	extreme	ways	.	in	order	to	test	this	theory	screenwriter	john	august	and	director	doug	liman	assemble	a	cast	of	characters	that	wouldn't	usually	be	the	types	to	have	an	entire	film	revolve	around	them	,	such	as	a	teenage	supermarket	cashier	,	a	bottom	of	the	drug	food	chain	dealer	and	two	struggling	soap	opera	actors	.	these	types	of	characters	might	not	sound	all	that	original	,	but	consider	that	they	will	all	be	somehow	effected	by	a	strip	club	bouncer	and	his	psychotic	father	,	a	mid	level	drug	dealer	,	a	narc	obsessed	with	multi	level	marketing	,	horny	wedding	guests	,	a	zen	lovemaker	,	two	shrimp	scarfers	and	a	cute	normal	teenage	girl	to	round	things	out	.	how	they	will	all	come	together	is	the	process	the	film	deals	with	.	i'd	imagine	the	concept	to	the	film	started	out	as	the	creators'	testing	themselves	to	see	if	they	could	actually	pull	it	off	and	the	outcome	is	a	terrific	achievement	in	filmmaking	and	the	craft	of	fiction	in	general	.	the	film	starts	out	as	anything	else	,	with	little	indication	of	what's	to	come	.	we	meet	ronna	(	polley	)	,	a	depressed	los	angeles	checkout	girl	who	doesn't	seem	to	have	much	desire	to	do	anything	except	work	just	to	pay	her	rent	.	she's	not	very	charming	,	especially	to	her	customers	,	but	this	is	played	mostly	for	laughs	rather	than	characterization	and	it	works	.	maybe	this	is	because	she's	not	a	very	afeminite	character	,	but	she's	far	from	masculine	a	creative	character	indeed	.	things	start	to	progress	when	ronna	reluctantly	agrees	to	take	the	hours	of	the	goofy	,	hyperactive	,	yet	likable	simon	(	askew	)	,	an	english	teen	into	vices	for	the	sake	of	the	experiences	.	this	agreement	starts	a	three	pronged	storyline	as	it	allows	simon	to	go	to	las	vegas	for	the	weekend	with	his	friends	and	in	turn	drags	ronna	and	her	friends	into	buying	and	selling	an	experimental	drug	.	the	process	of	which	will	not	only	bring	ronna	close	to	being	arrested	but	also	to	death	.	nearly	the	same	can	be	said	for	two	other	characters	,	zack	(	mohr	)	and	adam	(	wolf	)	,	who	we	don't	think	much	of	when	they	first	appear	as	supporting	characters	,	but	later	will	become	major	players	to	the	film's	makeup	another	process	used	by	the	filmmakers	to	elaborate	on	the	theory	of	how	significant	insignificant	interaction	might	be	.	once	the	pace	is	picked	up	the	film	really	begins	to	show	its	mettle	.	when	the	title	screen	ronna'	is	flashed	shortly	after	the	aforementioned	turning	point	scene	,	it's	clear	this	film	isn't	going	to	employ	the	standard	linear	method	of	storytelling	.	considering	how	good	it	is	up	until	that	point	,	it's	a	long	overdue	change	of	pace	needed	in	movies	today	.	and	so	the	film	begins	to	take	shape	,	first	by	following	ronna	and	her	friends	on	a	one	night	adventure	that	begins	with	a	drug	deal	instigated	by	zack	and	adam	(	who	were	actually	looking	for	simon	)	,	which	doesn't	exactly	go	as	planned	,	but	that's	what	keeps	it	all	so	interesting	.	the	second	storyline	starts	at	the	same	moment	as	ronna's	story	,	but	this	time	the	camera	chooses	to	follow	simon	instead	.	simon	and	his	three	friends	head	to	vegas	for	a	night	on	the	town	and	in	the	process	experience	things	they	never	would	have	imagined	.	the	third	arc	,	about	zack	and	adam	,	again	overlaps	with	ronna's	story	telling	much	of	the	same	story	but	from	a	completely	different	angle	.	we're	shown	things	we	never	would	have	expected	were	going	on	while	following	ronna	.	and	many	of	the	events	that	do	happen	to	ronna	because	of	zack	and	adam	aren't	even	their	fault	they	just	happened	to	be	where	they	were	when	they	were	.	i'd	really	like	to	dissect	each	of	the	three	storylines	and	especially	how	the	film	wraps	up	in	the	end	,	but	that	would	take	up	too	much	time	and	space	and	spoil	everything	for	those	who	haven't	seen	the	film	.	perhaps	the	greatest	element	to	the	film	is	its	constant	surprises	and	unpredictability	,	and	not	due	to	plot	twists	or	a	confusing	screenplay	,	just	through	great	filmmaking	.
pos	director	:	tony	scott	writer	:	david	marconi	starring	:	will	smith	,	gene	hackman	,	jon	voight	,	regina	king	,	loren	dean	,	barry	pepper	,	jack	black	,	seth	green	,	jamie	kennedy	,	ian	hart	,	lisa	bonet	,	jake	busey	,	scott	caan	,	jason	lee	,	stuart	wilson	,	tom	sizemore	,	gabriel	byrne	,	james	legros	,	jason	robards	,	phil	hawn	,	dan	butler	,	philip	baker	hall	with	the	sudden	liberal	emergence	of	personal	privacy	abounding	in	the	news	lately	,	what	with	that	whole	clinton	thing	going	on	(	you	know	,	100	million	bucks	to	discover	the	president	got	boinked	by	an	intern	oh	,	please	,	government	,	waste	my	taxes	just	a	bit	more	,	would	you	?	)	,	it's	about	time	tony	scott	helmed	the	newest	action	pic	disguised	as	an	important	if	not	slightly	ignorant	social	statement	.	with	this	and	"	crimson	tide	,	"	he's	created	two	successfully	chilly	films	that	are	interesting	,	exciting	,	even	pretty	smart	,	but	never	totally	riveting	as	cinema	,	and	the	problem	i	think	with	each	of	these	films	is	that	each	film	is	too	obsessed	with	its	message	to	ever	be	really	satisfying	,	and	too	obsessed	with	looking	all	cutting	edge	to	ever	be	totally	smart	.	that	film	dealt	with	a	civil	war	inside	a	nuclear	submarine	over	whether	or	not	to	follow	rules	or	question	them	,	and	was	appropriately	scary	and	all	,	but	never	totally	thrilling	or	overly	brilliant	.	"	enemy	of	the	state	"	is	the	same	way	:	it's	engrossing	for	its	entire	running	time	,	and	it's	scary	the	way	that	it	shows	a	man's	decent	into	kafkaism	,	but	it's	too	technical	.	it's	too	cold	and	not	as	fascinating	or	exciting	as	it	could	be	.	it	casts	will	smith	,	one	of	the	better	big	budget	leading	men	in	movies	these	days	because	he's	charming	and	witty	and	never	uninteresting	,	and	hopes	that	his	charisma	can	make	up	for	his	character	not	being	well	developed	enough	to	really	be	a	person	.	i	hate	to	do	this	,	but	last	year's	film	"	the	game	"	got	it	damn	perfect	:	it	casts	michael	douglas	as	a	deeply	flawed	human	being	,	a	man	who	is	cold	and	has	cut	off	everyone	from	his	life	,	and	then	pulls	everything	he	thought	he	had	as	a	security	blanket	away	from	him	and	watched	what	happened	.	the	result	was	not	only	a	film	that	was	exciting	and	chilling	,	but	also	the	best	mindfuck	of	the	entire	year	.	not	that	i	want	every	kafkaesque	film	to	be	"	the	game	"	(	this	year's	"	the	spanish	prisoner	"	succeeds	with	less	thrills	and	chills	)	,	but	it	should	be	an	example	of	what	works	and	what	doesn't	.	will	smith's	character	is	,	frankly	,	too	perfect	,	at	least	too	movie	perfect	.	he	had	an	affair	with	another	woman	(	lisa	bonet	,	ha	ha	)	,	but	his	relationship	with	his	wife	(	regina	king	)	is	basically	fine	regardless	.	he	has	a	kid	,	and	he's	raking	in	money	as	a	lawyer	,	albeit	a	very	good	and	reasonably	moral	one	.	so	he	generally	doesn't	have	any	real	problems	as	a	human	being	,	and	is	therefore	boring	.	.	.	except	that	he	is	played	by	will	smith	,	who	embodies	him	with	about	as	much	will	smith	charm	as	he	can	without	entering	"	id4	"	"	men	in	black	"	territory	.	he's	a	good	dramatic	actor	(	just	see	the	first	half	hour	of	"	six	degrees	of	separation	"	for	proof	of	this	,	not	that	he	isn't	great	the	whole	time	)	,	and	here	,	he	makes	his	character	likable	and	sympathetic	without	any	real	strain	on	his	character	,	which	makes	the	film	lack	any	real	deep	interesting	qualities	.	smith	becomes	involved	in	a	mass	conspiracy	involving	the	assasination	of	a	senator	opposed	to	a	government	law	that	would	create	world	surveillance	,	extinguishing	privacy	as	we	know	it	from	the	world	,	under	the	pretense	that	it	would	make	crime	easier	to	control	,	when	he	is	passed	a	disk	of	the	event	caught	on	tape	by	an	outside	party	(	a	nature	observer	played	by	,	uh	,	jason	lee	)	.	the	government	wants	the	disk	,	and	is	prepared	to	destroy	his	life	to	get	it	.	as	smith's	plight	is	dramatized	,	we	are	introduced	to	the	masterminds	who	surveillance	him	,	sitting	in	vans	disguised	as	other	businesses	,	staring	at	computers	and	pulling	out	tricks	faster	than	a	speeding	bullet	.	these	guys	(	played	by	jack	black	,	jamie	kennedy	,	and	seth	green	)	are	the	most	interesting	part	of	this	film	because	they're	,	well	,	fascinating	:	they're	doing	their	jobs	,	which	are	evil	,	but	the	film	doesn't	view	them	as	such	,	and	they	almost	become	our	friends	.	we	like	these	guys	for	the	sole	reason	that	the	film	doesn't	automatically	judge	them	as	the	villains	.	they're	also	scary	because	we	get	the	idea	that	they're	not	fully	aware	of	the	impact	their	jobs	have	on	the	world	.	it's	as	if	they're	obsessed	with	their	jobs	,	not	because	they're	evil	,	but	because	,	hey	,	it's	a	fun	job	,	and	no	one	else	can	do	it	like	them	.	unfortunately	,	this	also	backfires	a	bit	on	the	film	:	instead	of	being	the	flashlight	in	the	darkened	room	that	"	the	game	"	was	,	you	see	everything	,	and	are	thus	not	as	freaked	out	because	you	know	what	is	going	on	.	sure	,	you're	chilled	,	but	you're	not	exacty	freaked	out	by	what's	going	on	.	but	what	do	you	expect	from	tony	scott	,	the	man	who	never	met	a	five	second	piece	of	film	he	ever	liked	.	he's	a	not	bad	director	because	,	hell	,	he	is	always	interesting	to	watch	(	if	not	occasionally	moronic	exhibit	a	:	"	days	of	thunder	"	)	,	but	the	reason	he's	not	great	is	because	he's	too	technical	and	calculated	.	his	shots	are	perfectly	executed	,	and	leave	nothing	to	the	imagination	,	and	they're	always	making	sure	you're	paying	attention	.	this	is	incredibly	annoying	,	and	it	reduces	"	enemy	of	the	state	"	to	a	mechanical	mishmash	of	flashy	images	that	never	expand	the	mind	at	any	great	depths	,	but	still	manage	to	entertain	without	any	real	problems	.	despite	never	actually	becoming	great	,	it's	never	actually	boring	and	it's	always	intriguing	.	watching	the	government	set	up	smith	is	endlessly	fascinating	,	and	since	we	care	about	smith's	likeable	protagonist	,	we	are	set	up	for	a	good	two	hours	worth	of	tom	clancy	esque	entertainment	.	add	the	best	big	cast	this	side	of	the	annual	woody	allen	film	(	everyone	from	gabriel	byrne	to	dan	butler	pop	up	for	cameos	)	,	and	you've	got	a	good	old	fashioned	escapist	drama	which	does	all	the	thinking	for	you	so	that	you	never	have	to	actually	question	the	debate	over	personal	privacy	and	so	you	can	follow	will	smith's	plight	without	a	minute's	worth	of	boredom	.
pos	filled	with	a	tantalizing	air	of	suspense	,	with	a	friend	like	harry	is	an	unusual	yet	well	balanced	mix	of	dark	comedy	,	french	thriller	,	and	surreal	drama	.	as	i	was	watching	the	film	,	i	found	myself	groping	for	its	message	at	each	turn	of	the	plot	.	its	ultimate	effect	is	comparable	to	claude	chabrol's	la	crmonie	,	which	,	with	all	its	violence	and	commentary	on	class	delineation	.	in	with	a	friend	like	harry	,	two	former	schoolmates	accidentally	meet	in	a	roadside	bathroom	.	michel	(	laurent	lucas	)	is	on	vacation	with	his	wife	claire	(	mathilde	seigner	)	and	their	three	little	daughters	.	he	is	harried	and	haggard	,	far	from	enjoying	this	so	called	vacation	:	an	endless	ride	with	whining	and	screaming	kids	in	an	un	air	conditioned	car	.	harry	(	sergi	lpez	)	is	everything	michel	is	not	:	sleek	and	self	contained	,	he	doesn't	seem	to	be	burdened	by	anything	except	good	memories	and	a	load	of	money	.	within	minutes	,	harry	invites	himself	and	his	girlfriend	,	a	corpulent	,	springy	bun	named	plum	(	sophie	guillemin	)	,	to	michel's	house	to	reminisce	about	the	good	old	school	days	michel	himself	can	barely	remember	.	the	success	of	harry	is	held	in	its	odd	combination	of	very	real	,	down	to	earth	elements	combined	with	surreal	devices	,	creating	suspense	,	disbelief	,	and	intrigue	.	the	film	plays	skillfully	with	a	common	knowledge	that	there	is	always	a	potential	danger	in	bringing	an	intruder	into	the	family	,	no	matter	how	stable	this	family	is	.	at	the	table	,	harry	recites	michel's	adolescent	school	poem	with	the	unattractive	title	the	dagger	in	the	skin	of	plight	,	as	well	as	an	excerpt	from	a	sci	fi	novel	called	flying	monkeys	.	leading	a	life	of	constant	gratification	,	harry	is	convinced	that	all	michel's	problems	lack	of	money	and	the	desire	to	please	other	people	have	obscured	michel's	path	toward	fulfillment	as	a	writer	.	quick	and	decisive	,	harry	is	a	man	of	action	,	and	his	solutions	are	very	concrete	.	it	is	nearly	impossible	to	fathom	the	nature	of	harry's	obsession	with	michel's	early	poem	,	which	he	remembers	by	heart	.	but	,	as	the	film	progresses	,	it	becomes	obvious	that	harry	expresses	his	obsession	through	crime	.	by	the	film's	end	,	he	is	comparable	to	ripley	from	rene	clement's	purple	noon	(	and	the	american	the	talented	mr	.	ripley	)	,	a	sociopath	with	an	insidious	mind	learning	that	he	could	get	away	with	just	about	anything	.	however	,	harry	is	a	hedonist	and	a	misanthrope	,	but	his	enigma	is	never	as	refined	as	ripley's	is	.	the	film	even	treats	him	with	a	slight	contempt	:	there	is	always	something	distasteful	in	harry's	brisk	arrogant	walk	,	in	his	narrow	unexpressive	eyes	.	the	music	,	with	sinister	ominous	overtones	,	often	diverts	our	attention	by	accentuating	superfluous	elements	,	such	as	the	eggs	harry	likes	to	eat	after	having	an	orgasm	or	the	vulgar	pink	wall	pattern	in	the	bathroom	of	michel's	house	.	it	creates	a	creepy	and	eerie	effect	,	but	,	after	a	while	,	these	devices	become	as	predictable	as	harry's	long	list	of	solutions	.	the	movie	is	not	a	weighty	one	,	yet	there	is	something	in	its	tension	and	the	way	it	feeds	you	its	story	that	attracts	you	to	it	.	the	film	seduces	you	into	thinking	that	,	at	certain	moments	,	you	know	where	it's	headed	,	and	then	you	realize	that	you	don't	.	acting	is	crucial	to	this	film's	success	,	and	it	is	impeccable	.	michel	and	claire	never	get	hysterical	or	grotesquely	quarrelsome	during	their	daily	rituals	.	the	core	of	their	disorganized	and	turbulent	family	unit	is	established	early	in	the	film	,	and	it's	clear	that	no	matter	what	sacrifices	michel	has	had	to	make	for	his	girls	,	he	loves	them	without	regret	or	resentment	.	there	is	an	interesting	comment	,	however	,	in	the	closing	sequence	of	the	film	.	just	like	at	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	michel	drives	his	family	in	the	car	,	only	now	the	car	is	a	present	from	the	magnanimous	harry	.	in	a	splendid	4x4	sport	utility	vehicle	,	with	air	conditioning	full	blast	,	the	kids	are	content	;	no	more	screaming	,	howling	,	or	demands	.	michel	smiles	whatever	price	he	has	had	to	pay	for	getting	rid	of	harry	was	well	worth	it	.	does	the	film	suggest	we	all	have	a	little	of	harry	in	us	?	i	think	it	does	.	whether	it	is	a	point	worth	making	is	another	question	altogether	.	aka	harry	,	un	ami	qui	vous	veut	du	bien	.
pos	before	even	seeing	a	single	frame	of	the	film	,	it	would	be	easy	to	snicker	at	deep	impact	,	in	which	a	comet	on	a	collision	course	with	earth	threatens	the	existence	of	all	life	on	the	planet	.	it	is	the	latest	entry	in	this	decade's	dubious	revival	of	the	'70s	disaster	film	,	and	the	first	of	two	"	the	sky	is	falling	"	flicks	to	hit	screens	this	year	(	the	other	being	this	coming	july's	armageddon	,	in	which	a	meteor	is	the	threat	)	.	its	tagline	,	"	oceans	rise	.	cities	fall	.	hope	survives	"	is	not	as	cornball	as	that	of	the	utterly	ridiculous	collapsing	tunnel	thriller	daylight	(	"	they	came	in	alone	.	.	.	the	only	way	out	.	.	.	is	together	"	)	,	but	it's	every	bit	as	treacly	.	the	opening	moments	of	deep	impact	offer	more	to	snicker	at	.	the	cheesiness	is	not	confined	to	the	disaster	movie	conventions	,	such	as	the	usual	opening	"	roll	call	,	"	in	which	all	the	major	characters	and	their	personal	problems	are	introduced	.	the	most	prominent	of	the	"	personal	"	stories	is	that	of	ambitious	tv	news	reporter	jenny	lerner	(	tea	leoni	)	,	who	is	distraught	that	her	father	(	maximilian	schell	)	left	her	mother	(	vanessa	redgrave	)	for	a	younger	woman	(	rya	kihlstedt	)	.	what	is	just	as	snicker	worthy	is	how	this	co	venture	between	paramount	and	dreamworks	skg	aggressively	pushes	another	high	profile	corporate	collaboration	,	microsoft	and	nbc's	cable	news	network	msnbc	,	which	employs	jenny	,	who	is	the	film's	ostensible	main	character	.	in	the	vision	of	america	presented	here	,	msnbc	is	the	television	news	source	of	choice	in	every	home	,	when	in	reality	it	only	reaches	a	fraction	of	the	country	.	the	initial	signs	point	toward	something	along	the	lines	of	a	volcano	or	dante's	peak	,	but	there's	one	thing	about	deep	impact	i	underestimated	:	the	skills	of	director	mimi	leder	.	she	won	an	emmy	for	her	helming	work	on	nbc's	smash	er	,	which	is	essentially	a	weekly	disaster	movie	,	each	episode	featuring	a	new	set	of	guest	stars	with	their	own	personal	and	medical	crises	.	the	challenge	presented	by	this	format	to	the	director	is	twofold	:	(	1	)	to	make	the	audience	care	for	these	guest	characters	,	regardless	of	how	briefly	seen	or	thinly	written	they	are	,	and	(	2	)	powerfully	tug	at	the	emotions	without	being	heavy	handed	or	overly	melodramatic	.	having	passed	the	"	er	challenge	"	in	numerous	episodes	and	showed	a	flair	for	creating	suspense	in	the	peacemaker	,	leder	could	not	be	a	better	fit	to	bring	michael	tolkin	and	bruce	joel	rubin's	rather	formulaic	disaster	screenplay	to	screen	.	as	the	countdown	to	impact	progresses	,	the	ominous	feeling	of	doom	is	palpable	,	leading	the	final	act	to	take	on	a	surprisingly	convincing	and	affecting	emotional	dimension	.	there's	nothing	here	that	will	profoundly	move	anyone	,	but	the	fact	that	anything	manages	to	touch	the	heart	is	high	achievement	in	a	genre	generally	more	concerned	with	effects	.	situations	that	initially	feel	contrived	,	such	as	jenny's	familial	crisis	and	the	teenage	romance	between	sarah	hotchner	(	leelee	sobieski	)	and	comet	discoverer	leo	biederman	(	elijah	wood	)	,	achieve	some	poignance	;	and	even	the	more	vaguely	drawn	characters	,	including	u	.	s	.	president	tom	beck	(	morgan	freeman	)	,	astronaut	spurgeon	"	fish	"	tanner	(	robert	duvall	)	,	and	his	rather	faceless	crew	(	ron	eldard	,	jon	favreau	,	mary	mccormack	,	blair	underwood	,	and	alexander	baluyev	)	aboard	the	comet	bombing	spacecraft	messiah	,	have	their	share	of	touching	moments	.	the	latter	fact	owes	a	debt	to	the	actors	,	who	all	do	a	solid	job	and	are	well	cast	,	with	the	possible	exception	of	leoni	;	she	delivers	a	decent	performance	,	but	her	trademark	unconventional	speech	rhythms	and	line	delivery	make	her	somewhat	hard	to	buy	as	a	star	news	broadcaster	.	although	its	catastrophic	theme	and	impressive	special	effects	work	(	the	giant	ocean	waves	are	particularly	spectacular	)	place	deep	impact	in	the	same	category	as	the	likes	of	twister	,	it	is	the	first	of	the	'90s	disaster	films	to	successfully	marry	the	advanced	film	technology	with	emotions	that	ring	true	a	film	that	makes	a	genuine	impact	,	even	if	it	isn't	as	deep	as	hoped	.
pos	rating	:	out	of	7	.	0	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	tom	everett	scott	(	guy	patterson	)	,	liv	tyler	(	faye	dolan	)	,	johnathon	schaech	(	james	'jimmy'	mattingly	ii	)	,	steve	zahn	(	lenny	)	,	ethan	randall	(	the	bass	player	)	,	tom	hanks	(	mr	.	white	)	director	:	tom	hanks	certification	:	pg	(	usa	)	year	of	production	:	1996	academy	award	nominations	:	best	original	song	that	thing	you	do	!	,	from	first	time	film	director	tom	hanks	,	is	an	enjoyable	tale	about	a	fictional	band	,	the	wonders	,	that	goes	from	a	garage	band	to	the	band	with	the	fastest	selling	album	in	the	country	.	but	,	the	question	arrises	,	will	the	seduction	of	fame	and	fortune	corrupt	the	band	and	lead	them	to	become	just	another	one	hit	wonder	,	or	will	they	stick	together	and	become	the	next	teen	sensations	?	the	"	oneders	"	,	as	they	are	originally	known	,	have	their	first	gig	at	a	very	small	time	contest	.	jimmy	,	the	lead	singer	,	has	written	a	catchy	song	and	intends	to	play	it	at	the	contest	.	but	,	a	short	time	before	the	contest	begins	,	the	current	drummer	becomes	injured	and	a	replacement	is	needed	.	enter	guy	patterson	,	skilled	musician	who	currently	works	at	his	father's	appliance	store	and	is	looking	to	break	free	from	the	restricting	clutches	that	bind	him	.	he	seems	to	fit	in	well	,	until	the	group	takes	the	stage	.	when	they	begin	to	play	,	guy's	beat	is	much	too	fast	and	the	pace	is	way	off	for	the	intended	song	.	it	looks	as	though	the	group	is	doomed	to	failure	.	but	,	the	"	new	"	song	is	a	hit	!	this	leads	to	another	gig	,	and	soon	enough	,	the	group	has	an	agent	.	he	doesn't	do	too	much	for	them	,	but	they	do	get	their	song	played	on	the	radio	.	eventually	,	mr	.	white	of	playtone	records	approaches	the	group	,	and	he	informs	them	that	they	want	to	release	a	record	.	before	you	can	say	"	billboard	"	,	the	band	is	now	renamed	"	the	wonders	"	and	the	members	are	speeding	their	way	to	fame	.	the	gigs	are	getting	better	,	their	fame	is	increasing	,	and	they	have	the	fastest	selling	album	in	playtone	records	history	.	the	band	is	invited	to	appear	in	a	feature	film	,	and	,	they	then	fly	out	to	hollywood	to	appear	on	television	.	after	the	appearance	on	television	,	things	start	to	fall	apart	.	two	of	the	members	of	the	band	pretty	much	disappear	,	and	things	are	not	working	out	well	between	jimmy	and	guy	.	will	the	band	work	it	out	,	or	will	they	split	up	and	go	on	their	own	separate	journeys	towards	success	?	that	thing	you	do	!	,	complete	with	a	nifty	original	song	that	actually	sounded	authentic	,	is	a	fun	and	enjoyable	movie	that	,	although	it	doesn't	become	clear	if	it	wants	to	be	a	comedy	,	drama	,	or	romance	,	is	a	well	made	look	into	the	world	of	music	.	tom	hanks'	directorial	debut	was	a	good	one	and	should	lead	to	more	work	for	him	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	frantic	(	france	usa	,	1988	)	1	2	directed	by	roman	polanski	.	written	by	polanski	and	gerard	brach	.	cinematography	,	witold	sobocinski	.	editing	,	sam	o'steen	.	production	design	,	pierre	guffroy	.	music	,	ennio	morricone	.	produced	by	thom	mount	and	tim	hampton	.	cast	:	harrison	ford	,	emmanuelle	seigner	,	john	mahoney	,	betty	buckley	,	jimmie	ray	weeks	,	yorgo	voyagis	,	david	huddleston	,	gerard	klein	,	et	al	.	a	warners	release	.	120	minutes	.	rated	r	.	from	its	first	shots	,	frantic	generates	and	keeps	up	such	terrific	suspense	that	it	makes	most	(	if	not	all	)	other	thrillers	of	the	80s	taste	like	porridge	.	the	suspense	is	deliberate	,	slow	,	stretched	out	in	an	utterly	commonplace	atmosphere	and	it	is	exceptionally	effective	.	san	francisco	doctor	walker	(	harrison	ford	)	arrives	in	paris	,	with	his	wife	sondra	(	betty	buckley	,	)	for	a	medical	convention	,	with	a	bit	of	tax	exempt	sightseeing	on	the	side	and	a	second	honeymoon	away	from	the	kids	.	they	are	exhausted	by	the	long	trip	and	jet	lag	.	on	the	"	peripherique	"	the	belt	road	around	paris	their	taxi	has	a	flat	.	even	this	red	herring	happening	carries	suspense	.	they	later	totter	into	the	grand	hotel	.	the	bleary	eyed	couple	of	generic	american	tourists	are	dutifully	determined	to	start	their	stay	with	croissants	and	a	roll	in	bed	.	but	bed	and	breakfast	are	not	to	be	.	while	ford	is	showering	noisily	,	with	gleeful	anticipation	of	things	to	come	,	the	phone	rings	and	his	wife	answers	.	when	the	man	steps	out	of	the	shower	,	the	lady	has	vanished	.	you'	re	made	to	feel	all	along	that	something	ominous	is	going	to	happen	,	but	since	you	don't	know	what	this	might	be	,	every	moment	,	object	and	tiny	event	is	laden	with	suspense	.	director	polanski	has	assimilated	better	than	any	other	filmmaker	the	techniques	of	alfred	hitchcock	,	where	the	most	common	thing	could	be	uncommon	,	where	the	blandest	face	could	become	sinister	,	where	the	extraordinary	lies	within	the	ordinary	.	later	,	polanski	also	pays	additional	,	discreet	homage	to	the	master	in	ways	that	hitchcockians	will	spot	from	the	ironic	use	of	the	statue	of	liberty	to	a	rooftop	scene	.	but	there's	a	difference	in	attitudes	.	hitchcock	mocks	gently	both	his	principals	and	their	entourage	,	while	polanski	practices	a	restrained	irony	only	on	the	surrounding	people	and	places	.	he	is	entirely	serious	about	his	protagonist	harrison	ford	.	tension	mounts	unrelentingly	as	ford	goes	from	puzzlement	to	questions	in	the	lobby	,	from	fruitless	inquiries	on	the	spot	to	the	police	station	,	then	to	the	us	.	embassy	.	finally	he	is	forced	to	embark	on	his	own	,	desperate	,	frantic	search	.	every	imaginable	frustration	stands	in	his	way	,	and	every	stumbling	block	is	genuine	and	observed	with	sardonic	precision	even	black	humor	by	the	script	and	its	execution	.	ford	speaks	no	french	and	is	at	the	mercy	of	the	good	will	of	interpreters	.	the	hotel	personnel	is	amiable	but	skeptical	:	wives	have	been	known	to	fly	the	coop	not	a	big	deal	in	france	.	the	familiar	quirks	and	annoyances	of	daily	life	in	paris	add	to	the	difficulties	like	people	on	the	phone	who	don't	want	to	be	disturbed	and	hang	up	.	complicating	ford's	miseries	are	the	peculiar	,	private	and	official	gallic	attitudes	toward	any	problem	.	compounding	this	are	their	specific	attitudes	toward	americans	,	whom	they	see	as	un	cartesian	,	unsophisticated	simpletons	.	underlying	that	is	the	familiar	,	slightly	sadistic	pleasure	(	which	the	entire	planet	shares	)	in	getting	back	at	the	yanks	who	have	had	it	so	good	for	so	long	.	let	the	americans	stew	.	the	cops	treat	ford	with	haughty	superiority	.	the	american	embassy	people	once	the	breathless	ford	has	run	through	the	gauntlet	of	security	measures	are	cold	,	indifferent	and	unhelpful	.	the	doctor	is	on	his	own	,	in	a	paris	shown	with	superb	calculation	and	naturalness	,	neither	as	gay	paree	nor	as	an	artificially	sinister	metropolis	.	against	all	odds	,	ford	who	ought	to	be	distracted	to	perdition	with	worry	somehow	keeps	his	wits	.	taking	his	main	clue	from	a	wrong	suitcase	,	the	harassed	,	dead	tired	husband	doggedly	follows	it	and	becomes	involved	in	a	nightmarish	investigation	.	it	leads	him	to	odd	but	very	real	places	,	and	to	fringe	people	.	among	them	stands	out	a	black	leather	young	woman	,	michelle	(	emmanuelle	seigner	)	.	she's	sexy	,	with	long	legs	that	polanski's	camera	caresses	with	low	angle	shots	,	but	ford	does	not	.	the	film	is	smart	.	it	gives	you	some	of	the	conventions	of	"	film	noir	"	but	it	does	not	get	into	all	out	cliches	.	the	girl	's	erotic	presence	is	palpable	(	her	dancing	is	like	vertical	copulation	)	,	but	this	is	not	used	as	a	distraction	or	a	love	interest	.	keeping	up	mercilessly	the	suspense	of	the	search	is	what	matters	.	there	does	come	a	point	where	some	filmic	overkill	sets	in	and	i	mean	this	more	figuratively	than	literally	where	,	in	plot	twists	and	in	persons	introduced	,	too	much	is	too	much	,	especially	by	the	standards	of	alfred	hitchcock	who	would	have	built	up	developments	more	soberly	while	he	would	have	kept	going	with	character	development	.	(	that's	why	i	think	of	the	construction	of	his	pictures	as	"	clean	.	"	)	even	so	,	the	first	part	of	frantic	is	masterly	,	the	second	part	confident	of	itself	,	and	the	third	,	in	spite	of	its	gimmickry	,	still	has	some	good	touches	.	harrison	ford	,	a	true	professional	whose	talent	and	versatility	tend	to	be	forgotten	because	of	his	han	solo	and	indiana	jones	roles	,	confirms	here	the	appeal	of	his	unpretentiousness	.	newcomer	emmanuelle	seigner	gets	off	to	a	pretty	indecent	start	.	she's	the	granddaughter	of	the	legendary	louis	seigner	,	star	of	the	comedie	francaise	.	the	supporting	cast	,	especially	the	hotel	and	police	people	,	are	perfect	in	their	realism	:	the	more	you	know	france	the	better	those	actors	are	.	polanski	chose	them	and	directed	them	with	impressive	precision	.	roman	polanski	was	born	in	paris	in	1933	of	polish	jewish	parents	who	returned	to	poland	three	years	later	.	soon	after	came	the	occupation	by	the	nazis	,	the	persecution	of	jews	and	the	deportation	of	his	family	to	death	camps	.	roman	,	who	had	escaped	the	germans	,	survived	.	later	he	studied	and	made	films	in	poland	,	became	famous	.	a	cosmopolitan	who	knew	well	big	cities	,	he	used	them	in	his	works	with	moody	authenticity	:	london	in	repulsion	,	paris	in	the	tenant	,	new	york	in	rosemary's	baby	,	los	angeles	in	chinatown	.	the	production	values	of	frantic	are	outstanding	.	polanski	surrounded	himself	with	a	who's	who	of	collaborators	.	french	scenarist	(	and	director	)	gerard	brach	worked	here	with	polanski	for	the	ninth	time	.	among	his	fifty	odd	screenplays	are	the	two	of	us	(	"	le	vieil	homme	et	l'enfant	"	)	,	quest	for	fire	,	the	name	of	the	rose	,	jean	de	florette	,	manon	of	the	spring	,	maria's	lovers	.	editor	sam	o'steen	had	already	three	oscar	nominations	(	who's	afraid	of	virginia	woolf	?	,	chinatown	,	silkwood	)	.	designer	pierre	guffroy	had	won	two	oscars	(	tess	,	the	discreet	charm	of	the	bourgeoisie	)	.	composer	ennio	morricone	is	a	legend	in	his	field	.	director	of	photography	sobocinski	,	a	polish	collaborator	of	andrzej	wajda	,	proved	again	what	an	incredible	source	of	great	cinematographers	poland	is	,	especially	the	film	school	at	lodz	,	polanski's	alma	mater	.	curiously	,	this	is	the	second	movie	called	"	frantic	,	"	at	least	in	english	.	the	first	(	called	in	france	elevator	to	the	gallows	)	was	also	a	thriller	,	also	made	in	france	,	also	set	in	paris	.	it	was	one	of	the	very	first	works	of	the	french	new	wave	,	and	the	first	fiction	feature	by	louis	malle	,	who	,	curiously	,	as	in	the	case	of	polanski	,	was	one	of	the	few	european	filmmakers	to	be	very	successful	with	the	pictures	that	they	made	in	america	.	oddly	,	except	for	a	small	,	faithful	following	,	frantic	has	been	underrated	and	paid	little	attention	to	from	the	time	of	its	release	on	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	starring	:	keanu	reeves	,	al	pacino	,	charlize	theron	,	craig	t	.	nelson	,	connie	nielson	,	and	judith	ivey	if	there	is	one	thing	that	bothers	me	about	hollywood	films	it's	their	predictable	endings	.	the	devil's	advocate	has	the	atypical	hollywood	ending	,	when	everything	that	should	happen	does	.	unfortunately	for	the	devil's	advocate	,	this	ending	nearly	collapses	in	on	itself	,	and	ruins	the	entire	film	.	nevertheless	,	the	film	does	provide	two	and	a	half	hours	of	pure	entertainment	(	note	to	self	:	kill	whomever	was	in	charge	of	the	previews	for	this	film	)	.	i	don't	think	i	was	quite	prepared	for	this	movie	because	the	trailers	made	it	appear	to	be	some	supernatural	horror	film	about	satan	.	well	,	it	does	contain	this	element	,	but	what	is	not	mentioned	in	the	ads	is	the	other	plot	elements	(	and	seemingly	more	interesting	ones	at	that	)	.	the	devil's	advocate	begins	in	florida	with	an	ongoing	trial	in	session	.	kevin	lomax	(	keanu	reeves	)	is	the	defense	attorney	,	working	for	a	client	whom	has	been	accused	of	raping	a	young	girl	.	he	ends	up	with	a	not	guilty	verdict	,	despite	an	emotional	testimony	from	the	victim	(	heather	matarazzo	)	.	he	leaves	the	courthouse	with	his	lovely	wife	mary	ann	(	charlize	theron	)	where	he	is	approached	with	an	offer	to	travel	to	new	york	city	to	help	choose	a	good	jury	.	he	accepts	(	mainly	after	seeing	the	paycheck	he	will	receive	)	and	he	flies	to	new	york	with	his	wife	.	after	proving	his	worth	for	selecting	juries	(	and	his	perfect	winning	streak	in	court	)	,	the	head	of	the	firm	,	john	milton	(	al	pacino	)	,	asks	him	to	work	permanently	as	a	criminal	lawyer	.	he	graciously	accepts	,	where	he	is	treated	almost	as	a	god	.	he	is	given	an	incredible	apartment	(	which	is	bigger	than	my	entire	house	now	)	,	and	a	hefty	paycheck	.	his	life	seems	to	be	on	the	rise	.	and	of	course	,	his	life	suddenly	begins	to	waver	and	slowly	decline	.	he	is	attracted	to	fellow	employee	christabella	(	connie	nielson	)	,	and	his	wife	begins	to	feel	very	lonely	in	her	large	apartment	.	mary	ann	takes	up	a	friendship	with	a	neighbor	who	always	gives	advice	,	especially	if	it	is	not	wanted	.	meanwhile	,	kevin	nabs	a	case	surrounding	alexander	cullen	(	craig	t	.	nelson	)	who	apparently	murdered	three	people	.	he	spends	hours	upon	hours	with	this	case	,	while	forgetting	his	loving	wife	,	who	may	or	may	not	be	going	insane	.	all	of	this	while	john	milton	may	or	may	not	be	the	devil	himself	.	after	a	while	,	things	turn	completely	upside	down	,	as	kevin's	wife	claims	to	have	seen	monstrous	images	superimposed	on	her	friends	.	a	fellow	employee	is	murdered	in	the	park	,	and	his	mother	(	judith	ivey	)	reveals	information	about	kevin's	real	father	.	is	it	all	just	a	big	nightmare	?	or	is	john	milton	really	satan	,	playing	tricks	with	kevin's	life	?	the	devil's	advocate	plays	out	fairly	straight	forward	,	but	for	some	odd	reason	,	the	screenwriters	wanted	to	surprise	everyone	by	giving	us	something	we	don't	expect	.	is	this	surprise	conclusion	supposed	to	make	us	feel	good	and	go	home	without	feeling	depressed	or	disturbed	?	if	so	,	the	devil's	advocate	messes	up	completely	,	and	ironically	,	i	felt	more	depressed	because	of	the	ending	as	is	now	,	than	i	would	have	if	it	had	ended	ten	minutes	early	.	i	went	into	the	devil's	advocate	expecting	a	shocking	horror	film	,	and	that	is	exactly	what	i	got	.	i	was	settled	in	to	be	disturbed	mentally	and	emotionally	,	and	that	is	what	i	got	.	but	what	was	the	most	disturbing	and	horrible	aspect	of	the	movie	is	the	poor	ending	(	did	i	mention	that	i	didn't	like	the	ending	?	)	.	the	producers	of	this	film	take	you	on	a	thrilling	roller	coaster	ride	and	just	as	it	is	ending	,	they	pull	the	rug	out	from	under	you	.	films	like	se7en	and	the	usual	suspects	can	survive	with	this	surprise	ending	because	it	is	expected	,	more	or	less	.	we	know	it	is	going	to	end	in	an	unpredictable	way	.	the	devil's	advocate	,	on	the	other	hand	,	ends	unpredictably	,	not	from	us	knowing	a	lot	,	but	knowing	nothing	at	all	.	if	that	is	confusing	,	i	recommend	watching	the	film	,	and	then	reading	that	again	.	as	for	the	film	overall	,	i	enjoyed	the	entire	first	two	hours	,	being	drawn	in	by	a	terrific	character	study	and	then	adding	the	supernatural	plot	to	increase	the	tension	build	from	the	character	study	.	the	film	runs	like	a	well	built	clock	,	slowly	building	until	finally	exploding	with	a	highly	charged	climax	(	and	an	unpredictable	one	at	that	)	.	and	then	you	settle	in	for	a	nice	resolution	,	which	does	not	occur	.	it	was	at	this	point	that	i	felt	cheated	.	taking	us	on	a	terror	ride	of	intrigue	,	we	follow	kevin	lomax	around	,	as	he	is	the	centerpiece	of	the	film	.	everything	occurs	from	his	perspective	.	he	is	our	representation	on	screen	(	sort	of	)	.	but	we	are	forced	to	witness	a	conclusion	which	makes	most	of	the	film	seem	like	a	game	.	i	don't	want	to	spoil	the	ending	,	so	all	i	can	say	is	go	see	the	film	and	decide	for	yourself	.	perhaps	the	most	shocking	thing	about	the	devil's	advocate	is	the	extreme	amount	of	everything	.	it	earned	its	r	rating	for	a	reason	.	there	is	plenty	of	nudity	,	sex	,	violence	,	gore	,	and	then	you	have	gore	,	violence	,	sex	,	and	more	nudity	.	this	film	really	isn't	subtle	about	anything	,	showing	us	everything	.	it	actually	surprises	me	that	this	film	did	not	receive	an	nc	17	rating	,	as	it	is	quite	harsh	.	however	,	the	movie	does	have	its	merits	,	and	nudity	and	sex	are	among	those	.	i	don't	condone	sex	and	nudity	in	films	,	but	if	its	there	,	i	might	as	well	enjoy	it	.	the	biggest	merit	of	this	film	is	also	the	most	interesting	to	watch	.	the	confrontations	between	kevin	lomax	and	john	milton	are	entertaining	,	but	what	stands	out	amidst	this	extreme	hatred	is	the	decline	of	the	wife	,	mary	ann	.	portrayed	by	the	extremely	effective	charlize	theron	,	mary	ann's	problems	are	incredibly	intense	,	and	i	found	myself	wanting	to	witness	her	decline	.	this	may	sound	uncaring	,	but	i	wanted	to	watch	because	i	felt	sorry	for	her	.	she	is	the	most	interesting	character	on	the	screen	,	who	is	forced	into	a	world	where	she	is	not	wanted	.	something	the	devil's	advocate	contained	actually	shocked	me	for	reasons	other	than	extreme	violence	and	nudity	,	especially	for	a	film	of	this	nature	.	the	story	actually	has	something	to	say	about	humanity	.	in	one	of	the	last	scenes	,	john	milton	explains	to	kevin	lomax	the	game	god	plays	with	his	children	(	he	is	satan	,	of	course	)	.	he	comments	that	it	is	human	nature	to	lust	and	loathe	in	vanity	.	then	,	god	sets	up	rules	which	contradict	human	nature	.	this	semi	religious	bashing	is	more	humorous	than	frightening	.	what	milton	says	is	so	true	about	our	society	that	i	found	myself	laughing	out	loud	,	partially	thinking	it	was	funny	,	but	patially	realizing	it	was	true	.	these	moral	dilemmas	are	present	throughout	the	devil's	advocate	,	giving	it	an	added	depth	many	films	skip	over	in	their	writing	(	but	i'm	sure	they	came	straight	from	the	novel	it	was	based	on	)	.	when	a	film	has	something	to	say	about	our	society	,	it	deserves	to	be	watched	.	the	cast	of	the	devil's	advocate	is	one	of	the	highlights	,	as	we	see	memorable	faces	,	and	they	put	spins	on	those	memorable	faces	we	don't	expect	.	heather	matarazzo	makes	a	brief	appearance	as	the	terrorized	victim	in	the	opening	court	case	,	and	she	does	a	great	job	.	probably	the	big	surprise	of	this	film	is	keanu	reeves	.	he	has	proven	himself	an	uneven	actor	(	successes	such	as	speed	and	bombs	such	as	johnny	mnemonic	)	,	but	he	tops	himself	with	this	performance	.	i	have	never	seen	him	more	believable	to	date	.	al	pacino	is	of	course	the	scene	stealer	.	his	devilish	performance	is	equal	to	those	of	jack	nicholson	(	the	witches	of	eastwick	)	and	max	von	sydow	(	needful	things	)	.	he	could	have	easily	gone	too	far	over	the	top	in	many	scenes	,	but	he	remains	completely	believable	(	if	that	is	the	correct	term	)	.	jeffrey	jones	(	mostly	known	as	the	principal	in	ferris	bueller's	day	off	)	also	gives	a	good	performance	as	eddie	barzoon	.	judith	ivey	manages	a	credible	performance	as	the	mother	who	holds	a	secret	to	kevin's	past	.	connie	nielson	is	very	effective	in	her	role	,	and	she	also	appears	naked	several	times	.	one	familiar	face	with	a	twist	was	"	coach	"	star	,	craig	t	.	nelson	,	who	gives	a	very	good	performance	.	the	devil's	advocate	is	rated	r	for	sexuality	,	nudity	,	violence	,	language	,	and	some	gore	.	at	144	minutes	,	this	film	moves	along	fairly	quickly	.	for	the	first	two	hours	,	i	sat	completely	engaged	in	the	good	performances	and	strong	characters	.	the	technical	quality	is	also	remarkable	,	with	great	special	effects	and	a	good	musical	score	.	director	taylor	hackford	has	managed	to	create	a	very	disturbing	motion	picture	,	only	to	ruin	a	good	chunk	of	tension	with	the	final	fifteen	minutes	.	i	guess	my	biggest	problem	with	the	ending	is	the	fact	that	i	went	into	the	theater	expecting	a	disturbing	film	,	and	hackford	gave	me	just	that	for	a	long	time	.	but	just	before	the	end	,	he	got	jitterish	and	relied	on	the	hollywood	safety	net	in	order	to	make	his	film	more	mainstream	.	personally	,	i	would	have	preferred	it	ending	fifteen	minutes	early	.	reviewed	by	respect	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	respect	aros	.	net	"	respect	aros	.	net	a	)	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	a
pos	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	member	of	the	'online	film	critics	society'	a	href	"	http	:	smart	.	sbay	.	com	ofcs	"	http	:	smart	.	sbay	.	com	ofcs	a	tom	cruise	,	3	on	the	list	of	box	office	stars	who	have	generated	the	most	income	for	the	studios	at	a	take	of	1	.	51	billion	dollars	.	tom	hanks	,	2	at	1	.	52	billion	and	harrison	ford	is	1	with	a	take	of	2	.	08	billion	dollars	.	after	all	the	years	harrison	ford	has	been	around	,	i've	never	seen	a	guy	who	can	be	so	likable	,	even	when	he	makes	a	bad	movie	.	born	in	1942	,	his	early	roles	in	'american	graffiti'	(	1973	)	and	'the	conversation'	(	1974	)	had	him	in	gear	as	an	interesting	looking	character	actor	who	was	about	the	same	age	as	i	am	now	.	then	,	of	course	,	his	breakthrough	film	,	'star	wars'	,	had	him	engulfed	in	the	full	context	of	success	and	the	phrase	,	"	never	looking	back	"	,	can	rarely	be	applied	as	strongly	as	in	the	case	of	ford	,	who	later	took	on	the	challenge	of	a	leading	man	and	'raiders	of	the	lost	ark'	made	him	a	full	fledged	superstar	.	thankfully	,	tom	selleck's	schedule	made	him	unavailable	as	indiana	jones	and	stories	i've	read	from	multiple	sources	said	harrison	ford	was	oliver	stone's	first	choice	to	play	jim	garrison	in	'jfk'	.	'six	days	,	seven	nights'	has	ford	under	the	direction	of	ivan	reitman	,	the	man	who	made	arnold	schwarzenegger	funny	in	such	films	as	'twins'	,	'kindergarten	cop'	and	'junior'	.	too	bad	sylvester	stallone's	voyage	into	comedy	was	a	disaster	.	maybe	reitman	can	do	something	for	his	career	later	on	.	in	'six	days	,	seven	nights'	,	ford	looks	entirely	like	an	everyday	common	man	playing	his	role	with	a	likable	quality	in	a	mediocre	film	.	ford	plays	a	somewhat	broken	down	commercial	pilot	who	lives	in	the	south	pacific	who	meets	a	new	york	city	magazine	editor	(	anne	heche	)	and	her	fiancee	(	david	schwimmer	)	.	he	flies	them	to	their	eventual	destination	and	heche	and	ford	later	travel	alone	as	heche's	boss	asks	her	to	interrupt	her	vacation	and	make	a	15	hour	stop	over	in	tahiti	to	do	a	magazine	layout	.	as	they	are	flying	,	a	violent	storm	kicks	up	forcing	them	to	turn	back	and	upon	doing	so	,	the	plane	is	struck	by	lightning	and	they	crash	land	on	a	deserted	island	in	a	'gilligan's	island'	type	of	scenario	.	spoiled	with	her	bottled	water	,	business	lunches	and	nyc	lifestyle	,	heche	can't	comprehend	this	disaster	and	asks	ford	what	he's	going	to	do	.	there	are	some	clever	lines	as	ford	talks	about	the	plane's	landing	gear	and	says	:	"	sure	,	i'll	just	glue	it	back	on	"	.	her	sarcasm	is	not	to	be	out	done	as	she	says	:	"	i've	flown	with	you	twice	and	you've	crashed	half	the	time	"	.	her	best	line	is	when	she	asks	ford	if	he's	"	one	of	those	guys	.	those	handy	guys	who	,	when	you	give	them	a	pocket	knife	and	a	q	tip	,	they	build	you	a	shopping	mall	.	"	their	isolation	on	the	island	puts	them	into	an	unpleasant	confrontation	with	some	modern	day	pirates	.	they	also	deal	with	the	conflict	of	each	other's	opposite	tendencies	,	the	humourous	pratfalls	of	inexperience	in	their	situation	and	the	unexpected	situations	in	nature	.	i	couldn't	quite	get	my	mind	around	the	fact	that	i	was	watching	some	scenes	straight	out	of	movies	such	as	'butch	cassidy	and	the	sundance	kid'	,	'romancing	the	stone'	and	others	and	while	pleasant	enough	in	content	,	the	movie	is	a	one	time	deal	you	want	want	to	re	visit	and	while	ford	isn't	quite	upstaged	by	his	female	companion	,	heche	is	still	more	believable	in	her	role	and	gives	a	better	performance	.	i	was	surprised	.
pos	gattaca	(	1997	)	rated	pg	13	for	brief	violent	images	,	language	,	some	sexuality	,	and	nudity	out	of	4	stars	:	1	2	(	3	1	2	stars	)	starring	:	ethan	hawke	,	uma	thurman	,	loren	dean	,	jude	law	,	alan	arkin	,	tony	shalhoub	,	gore	vidal	,	and	xander	berkeley	with	the	release	of	gattaca	,	i	began	to	wonder	why	all	science	fiction	films	deal	with	destructive	aliens	,	or	aliens	in	general	.	hollywood	has	given	audiences	plenty	of	thrills	with	those	alien	films	,	but	what	was	usually	lacking	was	a	good	story	.	.	.	and	good	characters	.	.	.	and	good	acting	,	etc	(	contact	being	the	exception	)	.	and	for	some	reason	,	hollywood	has	never	taken	a	look	at	the	aliens	here	on	earth	.	the	closest	,	that	i	have	seen	anyway	,	was	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	,	which	made	mankind	an	alien	race	themselves	,	being	dwarfed	by	the	technology	which	they	created	.	now	comes	gattaca	,	another	film	about	technology	reigning	supreme	,	except	here	on	our	planet	.	the	difference	between	2001	and	this	one	is	simple	:	gattaca	is	more	frightening	.	most	of	the	concepts	of	this	movie	are	based	on	recent	discoveries	in	genetic	engineering	.	using	this	premise	,	writer	director	andrew	niccol	creates	some	genuine	suspense	and	thrills	.	unfortunately	,	due	to	a	lack	of	advertising	,	i	fear	gattaca	may	fair	horribly	at	the	box	office	.	since	seeing	the	film	,	i	have	been	asking	people	if	they	have	seen	gattaca	.	lately	,	however	,	i	have	been	asking	them	if	they	have	even	heard	of	gattaca	.	most	people	don't	even	realize	that	it	is	a	film	.	despite	this	fact	,	i	surely	hope	that	the	audience	members	who	have	seen	this	film	will	tell	their	friends	about	it	.	niccol's	film	deserves	more	than	what	independence	day	made	because	it	is	smarter	,	better	produced	,	and	more	realistic	.	gattaca	begins	in	the	21st	century	.	procreating	is	now	done	in	a	petri	dish	,	and	genetic	engineering	is	the	normal	way	of	doing	it	.	natural	child	birth	is	considered	old	fashioned	.	we	are	introduced	to	jerome	morrow	(	ethan	hawke	)	,	an	employee	of	the	gattaca	space	program	.	one	of	the	directors	of	the	program	has	been	murdered	,	and	the	main	suspect	is	one	vincent	freeman	.	the	only	problem	is	that	jerome	morrow	is	vincent	freeman	.	vincent	was	born	the	natural	way	when	his	parents	decided	on	bringing	their	first	child	into	the	world	through	love	.	however	,	after	his	birth	,	and	through	several	genetic	tests	,	doctors	tell	his	parents	that	he	will	have	a	99	chance	of	a	weak	heart	,	as	well	as	poor	eye	sight	and	a	short	life	span	.	as	a	result	,	both	parents	decide	to	bring	their	next	baby	into	the	world	via	genetics	.	anton	(	loren	dean	)	is	produced	without	flaws	,	and	the	competition	between	brothers	spawns	.	vincent	has	a	dream	to	fly	a	solo	flight	around	the	titan	,	the	14th	moon	of	saturn	,	but	because	of	his	condition	,	gattaca	,	and	society	in	general	,	forces	him	to	do	menial	labor	around	the	company	.	labeled	an	"	in	valid	,	"	vincent's	dream	seems	impossible	,	until	he	meets	a	black	market	dna	specialist	,	german	(	tony	shalhoub	)	.	german	introduces	him	to	a	"	valid	"	who	has	been	paralized	from	the	waste	down	due	to	an	automobile	accident	.	jerome	morrow	(	jude	law	)	agrees	to	give	vincent	all	the	proper	identification	tools	(	urine	,	blood	,	skin	and	hair	samples	,	etc	.	)	that	he	will	need	to	get	past	gattaca's	tight	security	.	in	exchange	,	vincent	will	provide	jerome	with	the	rent	money	and	friendship	.	after	the	murder	,	however	,	his	dreams	are	put	at	risk	due	to	one	of	vincent's	eyelashes	left	at	the	scene	of	the	crime	.	irene	cassini	(	uma	thurman	)	is	a	genetically	flawed	"	valid	"	working	for	gattaca	,	and	she	begins	to	fall	in	love	with	vincent	jerome	.	gattaca	is	one	of	the	best	science	fiction	films	i	have	seen	in	a	long	time	.	only	two	other	intelligent	science	fiction	films	have	come	out	in	the	past	two	years	(	contact	and	the	arrival	)	and	gattaca	will	rank	among	them	.	unfortunately	,	whenever	one	intelligent	film	comes	out	against	special	effects	laden	films	,	it	normally	gets	buried	.	the	second	best	thing	about	gattaca	is	the	production	design	by	jan	roelfs	.	the	orange	glow	of	gattaca's	scenes	are	impressive	,	but	the	sets	deserve	most	of	the	credit	.	the	sets	are	very	well	done	,	creating	a	futuristic	sense	,	but	not	too	futuristic	as	to	alienate	viewers	.	as	we	look	at	the	designs	,	we	realize	that	these	buildings	aren't	too	far	into	the	future	.	this	brings	the	plot	even	more	credibility	as	genetic	engineering	becomes	more	possible	by	every	passing	day	.	the	best	thing	,	however	,	is	the	plot	.	the	story	is	more	than	your	average	sci	fi	thriller	.	at	its	heart	,	it	develops	a	theme	which	is	never	overpowering	but	is	always	present	.	perhaps	niccol	is	warning	our	race	about	the	changes	genetic	tampering	could	bring	.	would	our	society	become	a	bunch	of	soulless	zombies	?	maybe	human	nature	is	a	result	of	mankind's	flaws	.	if	we	get	rid	of	flaws	,	do	we	get	rid	of	dreams	as	well	?	niccol's	intelligent	script	handles	all	these	questions	extremely	well	,	and	the	result	is	an	incredibly	smart	thriller	set	against	a	dramatic	story	,	or	vice	versa	.	the	power	of	the	actors	brings	a	lot	of	credibility	to	flat	characters	.	while	flat	may	sound	like	a	poor	job	on	niccol's	part	,	it	actually	enhances	the	meaning	behind	the	story	.	ethan	hawke	has	developed	into	a	handsome	adult	actor	,	giving	his	best	performance	of	his	lifetime	so	far	.	his	curiosity	and	motivation	pushes	his	character	past	all	the	discouraging	remarks	from	his	parents	and	"	valid	"	peers	.	uma	thurman	is	.	.	.	well	,	uma	thurman	.	her	character	is	slightly	underdeveloped	,	but	the	story	isn't	about	her	.	however	,	thurman	gives	a	lot	of	depth	to	the	flat	character	.	jude	law	gives	the	most	complex	performance	of	the	film	with	the	most	disturbingly	realistic	character	.	he	provides	several	nice	touches	,	and	his	final	scene	is	a	very	touching	and	heartwrenching	one	.	loren	dean	gives	a	nice	performance	in	his	well	developed	character	.	dean	is	also	responsible	for	some	of	the	most	suspenseful	scenes	in	the	movie	.	alan	arkin	portrays	one	of	the	detectives	with	a	little	less	more	excitement	than	with	his	psychiatrist	in	grosse	pointe	blank	.	still	,	he	does	a	good	job	.	gore	vidal	and	xander	berkeley	both	provide	some	very	good	supporting	roles	,	and	berkeley	also	gives	a	heartfelt	discussion	towards	the	end	of	the	film	.	gattaca	is	rated	pg	13	for	brief	violent	images	,	language	,	some	sexuality	,	and	nudity	.	despite	the	somber	and	desolate	mood	of	the	entire	film	,	i	wasn't	exactly	prepared	for	the	ending	which	left	me	feeling	empty	.	it	turned	me	off	slightly	,	but	then	i	realized	that	everything	turned	out	the	way	it	should	have	.	if	this	had	been	a	typical	hollywood	film	,	it	would	have	ended	much	differently	.	however	,	with	all	the	mindless	science	fiction	films	out	there	,	it	is	nice	to	have	a	film	which	doesn't	talk	down	to	its	audience	(	i	especially	like	the	ironic	title	and	how	it	consists	of	the	four	letters	which	make	up	the	genetic	coding	:	g	,	t	,	c	,	and	a	)	.	instead	,	it	provides	some	much	needed	entertainment	which	gives	us	science	fiction	fanatics	just	what	we	want	:	a	science	fiction	film	with	morals	behind	it	.	whatever	happened	to	giving	the	audience	a	lesson	while	entertaining	?	hopefully	more	writers	and	directors	will	learn	from	gattaca	.	.	.	and	hopefully	audiences	will	too	.	p	.	s	.	personal	note	to	p	.	j	.	gladnick	:	how	dare	you	call	this	film	the	worst	film	of	the	year	.	i	can't	even	begin	to	image	what	film	you	do	like	.	that	frightens	me	beyond	anything	.	reviewed	by	respect	(	pun	intended	)	a	href	"	mailto	:	respect	aros	.	net	"	respect	aros	.	net	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	a
pos	1998	,	r	,	100	minutes	1	hour	,	40	minutes	starring	:	ben	stiller	(	jerry	)	,	amy	brenneman	(	mary	)	,	aaron	eckhart	(	barry	)	,	catherine	keener	(	terri	)	;	produced	by	steve	golin	,	jason	patric	;	written	and	directed	by	neil	labute	.	seen	september	5	,	1998	at	10	p	.	m	.	at	the	sony	nickelodeon	theaters	(	boston	,	ma	)	,	theater	2	,	with	matt	perreault	for	free	using	my	sony	loews	critic's	pass	.	theater	rating	:	1	2	:	okay	seats	,	sound	,	and	picture	modern	society	is	now	inundated	with	more	sex	and	sexuality	than	it	ever	has	been	before	,	from	teenage	sitcoms	to	nc	17	rated	films	about	fetishes	.	the	biggest	debate	of	the	subject	is	whether	or	not	it	affects	reality	or	just	reflects	it	.	"	your	friends	and	neighbors	"	takes	a	different	approach	as	it's	a	film	that	revolves	almost	entirely	around	sex	and	how	can	be	used	for	both	pain	and	pleasure	even	within	a	small	circle	of	friends	.	one	of	the	most	important	aspects	of	the	film	that	most	be	noted	and	analyzed	before	the	film	can	really	be	dissected	as	a	whole	is	writer	director	neil	labute's	basic	setup	and	some	of	the	unique	methods	he	employs	to	tell	the	story	.	firstly	,	and	most	importantly	is	the	fact	the	script	tells	a	rather	complex	,	detailed	story	of	lust	,	betrayal	,	arrogance	,	hypocrisy	,	greed	,	and	just	plain	stupidity	between	six	different	characters	(	three	men	,	three	women	)	,	without	hardly	any	supporting	characters	,	(	a	few	have	a	line	or	two	)	,	mostly	extras	.	everything	they	do	will	somehow	affect	another	character	and	ultimately	come	full	circle	back	to	themselves	,	whether	it	be	positive	or	negative	.	but	to	just	state	this	is	arbitrary	,	and	explaining	and	criticizing	the	process	is	difficult	.	labute's	ability	to	tell	his	story	through	a	few	characters	is	a	remarkable	feat	,	but	what's	specifically	impressive	is	the	fact	the	characters'	names	are	never	revealed	until	the	end	credits	roll	.	for	the	sake	of	this	review	,	i	will	describe	the	characters	and	refer	to	them	as	their	main	characteristic	.	another	interesting	accomplishment	is	the	fact	every	scene	takes	place	inside	with	limited	focus	.	we're	always	able	to	tell	where	the	characters	are	(	someone's	home	,	the	gym	,	a	restaurant	,	hotel	room	,	etc	.	)	,	but	what	the	city	they	live	in	,	what	year	it	is	,	what	the	society	is	like	,	etc	.	is	relatively	unknown	.	the	film	is	a	complete	character	study	with	the	tight	,	intense	drama	of	the	theater	.	no	one	plot	dominates	the	story	,	which	makes	the	first	act	a	bit	tedious	for	its	lack	of	background	.	we're	simply	dropped	in	on	the	characters'	lives	and	are	expected	to	figure	out	the	rest	.	the	characters	are	a	group	of	middle	class	white	people	who	are	all	successful	at	what	they	do	,	but	they're	only	concern	right	now	seems	to	be	their	sex	lives	.	first	there's	barry	(	eckhart	)	and	mary	(	brenneman	)	,	a	married	couple	who	are	going	through	a	dry	spell	not	unlike	many	other	couples	in	other	situations	who	don't	know	what	they're	problem	is	.	barry	is	kind	of	a	dorky	businessman	who	loves	his	wife	,	and	the	sex	they	have	,	but	doesn't	have	a	lot	of	ambition	he	just	follows	everyone	else	.	mary	is	a	writer	of	some	sort	,	but	lacks	aggression	and	emotion	like	her	husband	and	is	the	meekness	character	,	but	ironically	,	doesn't	hesitate	to	commit	adultery	just	to	feel	something	.	labute's	script	does	a	good	job	in	characterizing	mary	and	barry	as	individuals	,	but	is	very	light	on	chemistry	and	connection	between	the	two	.	obviously	,	this	is	the	theme	,	which	is	enhanced	by	the	actors'	good	performances	,	but	at	the	same	time	seems	just	a	bit	hollow	.	another	couple	is	jerry	(	stiller	)	and	terri	(	keener	)	who	live	together	and	seem	to	have	been	involved	with	each	other	for	a	long	time	,	yet	they	constantly	argue	over	anything	and	everything	.	their	sex	life	is	also	fraught	with	problems	and	for	some	reason	they	continue	to	do	it	throughout	their	infidelitous	relationship	.	if	only	one	aspect	of	the	film	could	use	improvement	,	it	would	be	this	area	.	it's	natural	for	a	married	couple	to	become	bored	with	each	other	,	but	why	would	two	people	who	can	barely	stand	each	other	continue	to	have	sex	and	live	together	?	what	did	they	ever	see	in	the	other	person	to	begin	with	?	labute	never	really	answers	,	but	since	the	film	is	more	concerned	with	the	payoff	than	the	process	,	it	still	makes	for	good	drama	,	tension	,	and	manip	ulation	so	intricate	and	deceitful	it's	fascinating	.	two	other	characters	act	as	catalysts	,	cary	(	jason	patric	)	and	cheri	(	natassja	kinski	)	.	cary	is	an	arrogant	,	hostile	sex	maniac	who	defines	the	word	"	bastard	.	"	somehow	he	is	able	to	bend	women	to	his	will	,	either	through	charm	or	just	attitude	,	into	getting	his	way	.	he's	the	kind	of	guy	everyone	should	stay	away	from	as	we	realize	he's	secretly	perverted	,	but	somehow	barry	finds	comfort	in	his	company	,	although	jerry	is	always	nervous	around	him	.	patric	gives	an	outstanding	performance	,	so	much	so	that	we	want	to	know	more	about	him	despite	how	intimidating	and	unlikable	he	is	.	cheri	is	a	character	labute	uses	as	a	catalyst	to	see	how	the	other	characters	react	to	her	.	she	works	in	an	art	museum	and	at	some	point	throughout	the	film	,	each	character	will	engage	her	in	almost	the	exact	same	conversation	and	her	reaction	is	always	different	,	from	becoming	involved	in	a	relationship	with	one	,	to	brushing	it	off	as	small	talk	with	another	,	to	being	outright	appalled	by	yet	another	.	she's	a	sweet	woman	,	perhaps	the	most	normal	of	any	of	the	characters	,	and	although	her	symbolism	is	obvious	,	her	role	as	the	outsider	is	the	most	relatable	.	i	will	not	reveal	who	cheats	on	who	and	how	each	character	is	specifically	affected	by	the	others'	action	,	as	that's	the	hook	of	the	film	.	the	first	two	acts	begin	to	set	up	the	characters	and	each's	scenarios	,	but	it's	often	difficult	to	tell	what	they	will	do	about	it	and	with	whom	.	the	result	is	sometimes	surprising	,	other	times	predictable	,	but	the	actual	course	of	actions	is	always	fascinating	.	for	a	while	everyone	has	their	fun	,	but	ultimately	each	character's	guilt	,	attitude	,	or	ignorance	will	disserve	them	.	one	of	the	most	important	things	to	note	is	how	realistic	the	story	is	supposed	to	be	.	since	the	characters	only	interact	with	each	other	there	isn't	much	pop	culture	references	,	as	almost	everything	has	a	deeper	philosophy	behind	it	.	are	we	to	assume	that	these	people	are	,	as	the	title	states	,	our	friends	and	neighbors	?	i	don't	know	of	anyone	going	through	the	same	situations	as	these	people	.	often	times	the	film	is	not	unlike	a	network	melodrama	,	other	times	situations	are	like	those	not	seen	outside	a	porno	movie	.	but	what	this	film	does	have	that	the	others	don't	is	repercussions	in	the	end	.	although	the	film	creates	its	own	reality	,	it	goes	to	show	that	even	the	immoral	aren't	immortal	.	in	what	way	"	your	friends	and	neighbors	"	is	supposed	to	work	is	open	to	interpretation	.	it	definitely	has	a	lot	to	say	about	the	price	that	comes	with	infidelity	,	but	it	could	have	been	even	better	had	it	expanded	on	that	theme	more	specifically	.	still	,	it's	an	accomplishment	in	film	making	because	it	has	put	a	timeless	theme	into	a	modern	perspective	.	hr	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	200	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.
pos	how	many	of	us	would	become	strippers	?	for	those	of	us	who	wouldn't	,	is	it	a	moral	reason	,	or	purely	a	lack	of	confidence	?	that's	probably	not	a	fair	question	,	and	for	a	lot	of	us	,	it	could	very	well	be	for	neither	of	those	reasons	.	as	you	watch	the	full	monty	,	however	,	you	may	begin	asking	yourself	these	kinds	of	questions	.	would	you	be	willing	to	grin	and	bare	it	to	bring	in	some	much	needed	dough	?	in	case	you	haven't	guessed	,	the	full	monty	is	about	stripping	,	but	striptease	it	ain't	.	it's	actually	quite	a	charming	comedy	that	uses	its	ideas	with	a	great	deal	of	tact	and	sophistication	.	it	is	the	story	of	six	out	of	work	,	out	of	shape	blue	collar	brits	whose	recent	job	losses	have	left	the	boys	penniless	,	but	not	without	need	.	what	to	do	?	it	hits	our	main	character	gaz	(	robert	carlyle	)	as	he	notices	the	large	crowds	of	women	who	pour	into	a	local	male	strip	club	on	a	regular	basis	.	it	seems	that	simple	:	take	it	off	and	bring	in	the	cash	.	eventually	,	gaz	is	able	to	convince	his	friends	to	join	him	in	starting	their	own	exotic	dance	routine	despite	their	initial	reluctance	.	these	include	the	overweight	,	confidence	lacking	dave	(	mark	addy	)	,	the	uptight	,	overly	officious	gerald	(	tom	wilkinson	)	,	the	once	suicidal	lomper	(	steve	huison	)	,	and	two	additional	fellows	who	gain	their	place	among	the	group	by	audition	:	horse	(	paul	barber	)	,	an	older	gentlemen	chock	full	of	graceless	energy	,	and	guy	(	hugo	speer	)	,	a	young	well	endowed	looker	who	compares	himself	to	cary	grant	.	when	the	sextet	is	complete	,	we're	given	a	hefty	dose	of	physical	comedy	.	we	watch	the	bumbling	middle	aged	men	choreograph	pseudo	sexy	dance	numbers	,	all	the	while	proving	why	none	of	them	were	strippers	in	the	first	place	.	as	if	there	anti	appeal	wasn't	enough	,	they	decide	to	boost	interest	in	the	group	by	promising	"	the	full	monty	"	on	opening	night	,	which	for	us	americans	,	means	baring	it	all	.	.	.	and	i	mean	all	.	the	movie	actually	ends	on	opening	night	;	a	hilarious	applause	worthy	ending	i	might	add	.	it's	sure	to	leave	nothing	short	of	a	big	smile	on	your	face	as	you	leave	the	theater	.	with	the	subject	matter	,	you	might	not	expect	the	fully	monty	to	be	such	a	feel	good	,	almost	inspiring	film	,	but	it	surprisingly	turns	out	that	way	.	the	amount	of	light	,	touching	drama	also	comes	as	a	nice	surprise	,	never	feeling	off	balance	from	the	otherwise	highly	upbeat	moments	of	the	film	.	there's	a	lot	more	to	this	movie	than	you	might	think	in	other	words	,	and	the	ensemble	cast	couldn't	be	better	.	each	character	is	completely	individual	,	interesting	,	funny	,	and	most	importantly	,	real	.	the	full	monty	is	never	offensive	,	a	very	impressive	attribute	since	its	subject	matter	alone	could've	easily	fallen	prey	to	tastelessness	.	it's	one	of	those	movies	that	is	best	described	as	a	solid	piece	of	entertainment	,	perfect	for	a	great	night	on	the	town	,	or	as	a	saturday	night	movie	rental	.	either	way	you	see	it	,	it	shouldn't	let	you	down	in	the	slightest	.	and	,	pun	heavily	intended	,	when	it's	all	said	and	done	,	you'll	be	smiling	from	cheek	to	cheek	.
pos	the	fifth	element	:	a	film	review	by	jesse	a	.	kaplan	cast	:	bruce	willis	,	gary	oldman	,	milla	jovivovich	,	chris	tucker	,	ian	holm	,	luke	perry	directed	by	luc	besson	wow	!	when	i	orginally	found	out	about	the	fifth	element	(	t5e	)	i	was	amazed	by	not	only	the	plot	,	the	effects	,	the	sets	,	and	the	casts	,	but	just	how	what	an	incredibly	different	movie	it	was	going	to	be	.	well	now	its	out	all	over	and	has	gotten	some	mixed	reviews	.	let	me	tell	you	something	ladies	and	gentlemen	,	this	movie	is	terrific	.	all	the	future	will	be	lost	unless	the	fifth	element	is	found	.	i	don't	even	know	how	to	explain	the	movie	so	i	won't	.	let	me	say	this	then	.	if	you	like	action	,	sci	fi	,	great	costumes	,	an	amazingly	hott	up	and	coming	actress	,	shoot	'em	up	,	futuristic	ride	of	your	life	the	t5e	is	the	movie	for	you	this	summer	.	bruce	willis	(	die	hard	,	pulp	fiction	)	is	at	his	best	as	an	ex	marine	turned	taxi	who	has	to	save	the	world	from	annialation	from	the	unltimate	evil	.	evil	is	helped	by	the	crooked	arms	dealer	billioniare	zorg	,	played	by	gary	oldman	(	the	professional	,	air	force	one	)	.	leeloo	,	as	the	fifth	element	,	the	surprime	being	must	be	used	correctly	to	defeat	this	evil	with	help	from	a	struggling	to	save	priest	,	holm	,	and	his	assistant	.	once	the	action	moves	to	the	space	resort	we	are	met	be	d	.	j	.	ruby	rodd	,	chris	tucker	(	friday	)	who	is	a	great	cross	between	prince	,	dennis	rodman	,	and	orpah	whinfrey	.	the	sets	and	costumes	and	the	best	part	of	the	movie	and	the	90	million	dolllar	budget	certainly	isn't	wasnted	at	all	in	this	movie	.	definately	one	of	the	true	hits	of	this	summer	.	although	compared	to	sci	fi	thrillers	such	as	stargate	and	blade	runner	,	t5e	works	because	its	not	deep	at	all	.	simply	great	mindless	fun	,	guarenteed	to	make	your	7	.	50	worthwhile	.	the	fifth	element	runs	2	:	07	and	is	worth	every	minute	.	it	is	rated	pg	13	for	brief	female	nudity	,	cartoonish	violence	,	and	a	little	profanity	.	a	definate	winner	,	1	2	.
pos	year	:	2000	.	starring	the	voices	of	julia	sawalha	,	mel	gibson	,	miranda	richardson	,	jane	horrocks	,	imelda	staunton	,	tony	haygarth	,	benjamin	whitrow	.	written	by	peter	lord	nick	park	(	story	)	and	karey	kirkpatrick	(	screenplay	)	.	directed	by	peter	lord	and	nick	park	.	rated	g	.	i	know	that	"	funnest	"	isn't	a	word	.	"	fun	"	is	a	noun	,	and	therefore	cannot	be	conjugated	like	an	adjective	.	but	that's	the	word	that	came	to	me	right	after	viewing	"	chicken	run	.	"	no	wonder	:	this	is	the	kind	of	movie	that	reduces	you	to	childish	expressions	,	like	"	that	was	the	funnest	movie	i've	ever	seen	!	"	so	to	hell	with	webster's	"	chicken	run	"	is	one	of	the	funnest	movies	i've	seen	in	a	while	.	i	can't	remember	the	last	time	i've	seen	anything	funner	.	the	chickens	at	tweedy's	farm	are	up	to	something	.	living	in	a	concentration	camp	like	atmosphere	,	they	are	led	by	one	plucky	hen	called	ginger	(	voice	of	julia	sawalha	)	who	continually	comes	up	with	plans	for	escape	and	always	gets	caught	,	subsequently	spending	day	after	day	in	the	coal	box	.	one	night	,	a	brash	american	rooster	flies	in	over	the	fence	,	calling	himself	rocky	(	mel	gibson	)	,	famous	flying	rooster	and	circus	performer	.	rocky	promises	to	teach	the	chickens	how	to	fly	,	and	the	situation	grows	more	desperate	as	the	nefarious	mrs	.	tweedy	(	miranda	richardson	)	decides	to	abandon	the	farm's	egg	selling	plan	for	a	pie	selling	plan	.	she	orders	a	huge	pie	making	machine	,	cackling	,	"	chickens	go	in	;	pies	come	out	.	"	what	sort	of	pies	?	chicken	pies	,	of	course	.	co	director	nick	park	and	his	studio	,	aardman	animation	,	produced	three	oscar	winning	short	films	:	"	creature	comforts	,	"	"	the	wrong	trousers	,	"	and	"	a	close	shave	.	"	the	latter	two	were	the	second	and	third	installments	of	a	trilogy	starring	the	delightful	team	wallace	gromit	,	a	man	and	his	dog	famous	for	getting	themselves	into	increasingly	peculiar	adventures	.	part	of	what	made	the	"	wallace	"	films	brilliantly	entertaining	was	park's	uncanny	ability	to	make	an	old	story	seem	new	.	"	the	wrong	trousers	,	"	for	example	,	pulled	out	a	lot	of	old	hitchcockian	suspense	tricks	,	and	"	a	close	shave	"	owed	a	great	deal	of	inspiration	to	classic	detective	stories	.	but	in	the	hands	of	park	and	his	team	,	the	stories	felt	fresh	and	inspired	,	and	not	the	least	bit	contrived	.	now	teaming	with	co	director	peter	lord	,	park	has	created	a	similar	creature	in	"	chicken	run	.	"	the	plot	is	largely	lifted	from	"	the	great	escape	"	(	watch	for	a	quick	reference	to	the	ball	bouncing	scene	)	,	with	some	spielberg	inspired	action	sequences	providing	the	excitement	.	thing	is	,	the	film	doesn't	feel	like	it's	been	lifted	from	somewhere	else	;	"	chicken	run	"	feels	fresh	,	alive	,	like	nothing	else	ever	done	.	part	of	it	is	the	original	idea	:	who	in	the	world	came	up	with	the	idea	to	make	a	prisoners	of	war	movie	starring	chickens	?	park	and	lord	milk	the	incongruity	for	all	it's	worth	:	the	characters	treat	their	situation	as	if	it	were	dead	serious	,	and	to	them	,	it	is	.	but	they're	chickens	,	so	it's	funny	to	us	.	another	thing	that	helps	"	chicken	run	"	(	and	most	of	park's	films	)	succeed	is	the	animators'	subtle	way	of	giving	nods	to	the	very	films	they're	cribbing	.	there	are	references	to	"	the	great	escape	,	"	obviously	,	and	"	stalag	17	.	"	the	chase	sequence	inside	the	chicken	grinder	parodies	both	"	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	"	and	"	indiana	jones	and	the	temple	of	doom	.	"	there's	even	a	nod	to	"	the	blues	brothers	,	"	if	you	can	believe	it	,	and	the	filmmakers	even	get	in	a	little	light	hearted	ribbing	at	the	expense	of	their	star	voice	actor	,	taking	a	couple	of	very	subtle	jabs	at	mel	gibson's	nationality	and	film	history	.	the	"	braveheart	"	reference	is	a	hoot	if	you	catch	it	.	when	you	consider	just	how	fine	a	line	resides	between	a	funny	parody	and	a	redundant	one	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	downright	brilliant	in	its	execution	.	consider	this	:	since	july	of	last	year	,	i've	seen	dozens	upon	dozens	of	"	blair	witch	project	"	parodies	,	on	television	,	on	the	radio	,	and	online	.	out	of	all	those	,	maybe	one	or	two	were	amusing	,	the	rest	tiresome	.	why	?	because	once	you	got	past	the	thought	that	"	they're	parodying	that	8216	;	blair	witch'	movie	,	"	most	of	the	parodies	had	nothing	to	offer	no	insight	,	no	original	idea	,	no	greater	purpose	.	they	were	only	funny	if	you	had	seen	the	movie	;	otherwise	,	you	got	nothing	.	conversely	,	"	chicken	run	"	doesn't	lean	on	its	parodies	the	film	references	are	never	the	sole	focus	of	any	scene	.	if	you've	never	seen	"	indiana	jones	,	"	the	chase	sequence	is	still	fun	.	even	if	you	have	no	idea	who	mel	gibson	is	,	rocky	remains	an	interesting	character	.	park	,	lord	,	and	screenwriter	karey	kirkpatrick	realize	that	an	audience	does	not	need	a	parody	shoved	in	their	faces	before	it's	understood	,	and	as	a	result	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	filled	with	visual	and	verbal	jabs	that	are	never	too	obvious	,	but	not	quite	vague	either	.	enjoyment	of	this	movie	doesn't	require	knowledge	of	film	history	,	but	if	you've	got	it	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	that	much	richer	.	the	voice	cast	turns	in	uniformly	lively	performances	,	and	the	characters	they	play	are	given	so	many	subtle	nuances	that	it's	hard	not	to	fall	in	love	with	every	one	of	them	.	ginger	is	perfect	,	spunky	and	opinionated	,	but	with	a	soft	heart	that	forbids	her	to	leave	her	companions	behind	,	and	julia	sawalha	(	known	as	the	cute	mousy	girl	on	"	absolutely	fabulous	"	)	nails	it	.	she	has	warm	,	human	chemistry	with	gibson	,	whose	rocky	hides	his	personal	doubt	under	a	brash	gung	ho	veneer	.	the	characters'	inevitable	romance	doesn't	feel	contrived	,	but	sweet	.	poor	mr	.	tweedy	(	tony	haygarth	)	suspects	the	chickens	are	organizing	in	some	way	,	but	his	limited	intellect	prevents	him	from	figuring	things	out	,	and	his	overbearing	wife	certainly	isn't	any	help	.	jane	horrocks	delivers	a	lovely	voice	characterization	as	tragically	optimistic	babs	(	a	hen	that	runs	away	with	most	of	the	best	one	liners	,	all	while	perpetually	crocheting	a	sweater	)	,	and	two	supply	trading	rats	that	seem	to	have	walked	straight	out	of	a	monty	python	sketch	nearly	steal	the	show	during	the	lively	central	swing	dancing	sequence	.	they	even	come	up	with	an	inspired	riff	on	something	that's	baffled	scholars	and	theologians	alike	for	decades	:	the	chicken	vs	.	egg	dilemma	.	one	might	have	expected	this	inevitable	joke	to	come	off	as	wearisome	,	but	as	with	most	of	"	chicken	run	,	"	it	comes	as	a	delightful	surprise	.	the	film	manages	to	cross	all	barriers	;	it	should	be	accessible	to	both	children	and	adults	,	brits	and	yanks	,	rats	and	chickens	.	the	animation	is	first	rate	.	remember	that	this	was	all	done	the	old	fashioned	way	,	with	actual	humans	moving	clay	figurines	around	on	a	tiny	set	bit	by	painstaking	bit	,	and	you	see	just	how	truly	remarkable	"	chicken	run	"	really	is	.	this	movie	possesses	that	same	quality	that	makes	pixar	studios'	animation	great	:	precise	and	unwavering	attention	to	detail	.	as	in	such	top	notch	family	fare	as	"	a	bug's	life	"	or	"	toy	story	2	,	"	"	chicken	run	"	has	something	to	offer	in	nearly	every	frame	.	certainly	a	passive	viewer	can	enjoy	it	as	a	straightforward	story	with	a	worthwhile	moral	and	some	surprisingly	touching	scenes	,	but	a	active	,	attentive	viewers	will	enjoy	it	even	more	because	they'll	catch	all	the	details	.	anyway	,	the	movie's	just	a	boatload	of	fun	.	funnest	damn	movie	i've	seen	all	year	.
pos	being	released	on	the	same	weekend	as	five	other	new	movies	the	iron	giant	is	and	will	become	one	of	the	best	films	you	are	not	likely	to	see	.	it's	a	shame	that	such	a	critically	acclaimed	movie	can't	do	well	at	the	box	office	,	but	the	public	likes	it's	mainstream	trash	.	hogarth	hughes	is	an	adventurous	young	boy	living	in	rockwell	,	a	cozy	seaside	town	in	maine	.	it's	1957	and	sputnik	has	just	been	sent	into	orbit	by	the	russians	,	so	when	a	crazed	drunk	is	out	on	his	boat	and	sees	what	he	calls	a	metal	monster	the	townspeople	joke	around	with	him	at	first	.	when	cars	start	getting	eaten	,	and	power	lines	destroyed	,	the	people	begin	to	wonder	.	when	kent	mansley	(	a	government	agent	)	comes	to	investigate	he	discovers	hogarth's	fake	gun	near	the	power	plant	and	questions	him	about	it	,	he	says	he	doesn't	know	anything	but	mansley	figures	he	knows	more	than	he's	letting	on	.	the	truth	is	,	hogarth	is	hiding	the	robot	at	the	local	scrapyard	where	dean	mccoppin	,	the	owner	,	is	keeping	him	hidden	in	a	shed	.	he's	beginning	to	form	a	bond	with	the	metal	man	and	doesn't	want	to	see	him	hurt	.	when	kent	discovers	that	there	is	a	robot	,	he	is	scared	it's	from	another	country	and	is	going	to	annihilate	us	all	,	and	he	sends	for	reinforcements	.	while	bearing	the	strong	resemblance	to	e	.	t	.	,	the	film	is	still	in	a	class	of	it's	own	.	finally	,	an	animated	film	with	no	songs	,	no	fake	love	stories	,	and	no	stupid	sidekicks	.	instead	this	is	a	wonderful	film	with	a	good	message	,	(	putting	in	the	fact	that	guns	actually	kill	people	is	a	great	message	for	a	children's	film	)	plus	the	film	is	filled	with	lots	of	gags	and	jokes	aimed	directly	at	adults	too	.	the	film	has	received	horrible	box	office	earnings	,	and	is	likely	to	be	put	with	other	critically	loved	comedies	such	as	rushmore	,	election	,	go	,	and	dick	.	this	is	a	magical	film	that	can	be	viewed	again	and	again	.	so	what	are	you	waiting	for	?	go	out	and	see	this	film	now	!	don't	delay	,	call	moviephone	and	get	tickets	for	the	iron	giant	,	which	gets	1	2	stars	.
pos	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critic's	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	'the	newton	boys'	does	something	clever	.	it	draws	you	in	slowly	after	a	more	than	mediocre	beginning	and	eventually	has	you	rooting	for	a	group	of	wild	west	american	outlaws	who	never	killed	anyone	in	their	rampage	of	robbing	somewhere	in	the	neighbourhood	of	200	banks	between	1919	and	1924	.	using	a	robin	hood	mentality	of	robbing	from	the	rich	to	pay	the	poor	(	in	this	case	,	however	,	they	pay	themselves	)	,	matthew	mcconaughey	(	willis	newton	)	ethan	hawke	(	jess	newton	)	skeet	ulrich	(	joe	newton	)	,	and	vincent	d'onofrio	(	dock	newton	)	are	featured	as	the	four	brothers	who	are	loyal	to	each	other	and	to	their	profession	.	dwight	yoakam	is	an	explosives	expert	who	hooks	up	with	the	brothers	and	his	specialty	is	using	a	nitro	mix	in	blowing	safes	.	rounding	out	the	leading	players	is	julianna	margulies	who	plays	louise	,	a	cigar	store	clerk	who	becomes	willis'	girlfriend	.	as	the	brothers	plot	each	robbery	,	there	is	a	hint	of	detail	reminiscent	of	a	documentary	style	approach	by	director	richard	linklater	(	'dazed	and	confused'	,	'before	sunrise'	)	and	the	visual	style	the	film	projects	is	very	impressive	and	candidly	entertaining	.	matthew	mcconaughey	is	a	charismatic	leading	man	and	he	is	truly	one	of	this	generation's	most	under	rated	actors	and	has	a	power	capable	of	carrying	an	entire	film	on	his	back	.	his	portrayal	of	willis	newton	,	a	man	raised	dirt	poor	who	had	a	tough	life	and	claims	to	have	went	to	prison	as	an	innocent	man	,	is	someone	many	people	can	generate	sympathy	for	and	these	factors	fuel	his	desire	to	rob	banks	as	we	see	him	at	the	start	of	the	film	as	an	ex	con	as	someone	asks	him	:	"	how	was	prison	?	"	,	to	which	he	replies	:	"	how	was	the	war	?	"	despite	the	unusual	place	in	history	the	newton	brothers	have	found	,	they	remain	virtually	unknown	compared	to	the	likes	of	john	dillinger	,	bonnie	and	clyde	and	"	baby	face	"	nelson	.	perhaps	because	the	newton	brothers	weren't	as	cold	blooded	as	their	criminal	peers	and	not	just	the	american	but	the	human	fascination	with	violence	is	something	that	propels	the	most	violent	criminals	to	the	top	of	the	list	in	terms	of	historical	documentation	.	it's	a	constant	pleasure	to	watch	the	creators	of	film	pick	up	on	a	part	of	history	that	is	relatively	unknown	because	the	research	proves	to	be	more	difficult	and	when	you	succeed	,	it	is	a	greater	testament	to	your	endeavour	as	a	creative	artist	.	everything	is	meticulously	crafted	in	'the	newton'	boys'	.	from	the	clothes	,	to	the	sets	,	to	the	music	,	even	the	dialogue	and	wild	west	attitude	are	nailed	down	as	impressively	as	any	i've	ever	seen	.	the	most	interesting	footage	of	the	film	comes	in	two	places	.	first	is	a	trip	to	canada	where	they	try	and	rob	banks	in	ottawa	and	toronto	and	find	canadian	safes	better	built	and	harder	to	crack	so	they	decide	to	rob	banks	in	broad	daylight	on	the	street	as	they	witness	bank	employees	,	in	a	more	civilized	and	less	dangerous	society	,	openly	carry	large	bags	of	cash	on	the	streets	for	transfer	and	delivery	and	as	the	boys	hold	them	up	,	they	do	what	they	can	to	get	away	without	killing	anyone	in	the	process	.	secondly	is	the	film's	closing	credits	which	are	accompanied	by	footage	of	the	johnny	carson	show	where	the	real	willis	newton	is	interviewed	by	carson	and	we	see	the	real	joe	newton	in	clips	of	home	movies	and	they	tell	how	the	brothers	always	viewed	banks	and	insurance	companies	as	cheats	themselves	and	that	his	gang	was	just	one	thief	robbing	from	another	.	not	a	great	justification	of	their	profession	,	and	while	some	may	criticize	the	film	as	a	glorification	of	bank	robberies	,	it's	captivating	simplicity	and	depth	of	academic	focus	make	it	entertaining	as	an	alternative	form	of	social	commentary	and	the	film	does	something	rare	.	it	only	uses	violence	when	necessary	to	make	its	intended	points	.
pos	with	his	sophomore	effort	,	she's	the	one	,	edward	burns	has	made	another	movie	about	irish	catholic	brothers	that	do	stupid	things	to	the	women	they	love	.	like	his	first	film	,	the	brothers	mcmullen	,	this	story	is	set	in	and	around	new	york	city	,	and	stars	mike	mcglone	and	burns	himself	as	the	aforementioned	brothers	(	only	two	this	time	)	.	also	in	the	mix	once	again	is	maxine	bahns	,	burn's	real	life	love	interest	,	who	again	stars	as	burns's	.	.	.	love	interest	.	this	time	around	,	burns	once	again	plays	slacker	to	mcglone's	uptight	business	oriented	younger	brother	.	burns's	mickey	,	a	contented	laid	back	cab	driver	,	falls	in	love	(	with	bahns	)	and	gets	married	on	24	hours	notice	.	this	is	ridiculed	by	his	brother	francis	(	mcglone	)	,	who	is	experiencing	relationship	problems	of	his	own	in	the	form	of	a	deep	rooted	affair	that	threatens	to	break	up	his	marriage	.	the	two	brothers'	problems	are	linked	together	by	the	fact	that	francis's	young	mistress	,	played	by	cameron	diaz	,	is	mickey's	ex	fiancee	.	after	establishing	these	relationship	problems	and	throwing	in	the	love	quarrels	that	burns's	father	(	"	frasier	"	's	john	mahoney	)	is	having	with	their	mother	,	burns	allows	them	to	unfold	in	much	the	same	fashion	that	similar	events	unfolded	in	burns's	first	film	.	first	,	the	brothers	talk	about	their	relationships	;	in	the	next	scene	one	of	the	brothers	does	something	impetuous	or	stupid	;	as	a	result	,	in	a	subsequent	scene	,	the	brothers	have	to	talk	about	how	that	affected	their	relationships	.	all	of	this	makes	for	a	lot	of	repetition	(	the	story	about	why	burns	broke	up	with	diaz	is	brought	up	at	least	eight	times	)	,	and	inevitably	leads	to	the	point	where	one	of	the	brothers'	wives	or	girlfriends	does	something	independently	impetuous	,	stupid	,	or	long	overdue	,	at	which	point	,	the	brothers	are	forced	to	talk	about	that	and	maybe	get	into	a	fight	.	as	the	movie	approaches	its	inevitable	end	,	though	,	both	brothers	are	forced	to	scramble	and	try	to	make	everything	work	out	.	despite	its	strong	similarities	to	burns's	first	film	,	she's	the	one	reveals	that	burns	has	obviously	done	some	growing	since	then	.	on	the	whole	,	this	narrative	is	much	more	complex	than	that	of	the	brothers	mcmullen	.	unlike	his	first	film	,	the	problems	of	the	brothers	are	interlinked	such	that	their	inevitable	brotherly	dialogues	always	hold	some	sort	of	interest	for	both	brothers	.	burns	also	displays	at	one	point	that	his	characters	do	not	all	have	to	be	completely	tactless	.	this	is	demonstrated	in	what	is	by	far	the	film's	most	powerful	and	original	scene	,	a	climactic	moment	between	burns	and	diaz	in	which	burns	the	director	displays	a	newfound	ability	to	reveal	emotion	without	words	.	unfortunately	,	this	is	only	one	brief	glimpse	of	complexity	and	true	movie	magic	in	a	film	that	for	the	most	part	rehashes	the	brothers	mcmullen	.
pos	i	don't	know	how	many	other	people	have	had	the	idea	cross	their	mind	that	their	life	could	be	an	ongoing	television	show	watched	by	another	world	of	people	,	but	it's	something	i	used	to	wonder	about	when	i	was	younger	.	i	can't	decide	if	i	first	thought	it	because	i	watched	a	lot	of	tv	or	because	my	brother	hit	me	in	the	head	with	a	baseball	bat	,	but	i'm	pretty	sure	andrew	niccol	,	screenwriter	for	the	truman	show	,	has	had	the	same	curious	thought	.	the	truman	show	is	about	a	man	(	jim	carrey	)	whose	entire	life	has	been	engineered	by	a	corporation	and	marketed	to	the	public	.	since	birth	,	he's	been	living	in	the	fictional	island	town	of	seahaven	,	fla	.	,	which	actually	exists	as	a	giant	domed	set	just	beyond	the	hollywood	sign	.	all	the	people	in	truman	burbank's	life	are	actors	,	and	the	anonymous	townfolk	paid	extras	.	people	watch	truman's	life	24	hours	a	day	,	live	,	with	no	commercial	interruptions	.	revenue	comes	instead	from	product	placement	,	a	staple	of	contemporary	hollywood	,	with	truman's	friends	and	relatives	describing	their	consumer	items	in	cheerful	and	optimistic	tones	.	the	sun	rises	and	sets	on	cue	and	everyone	likes	everyone	else	.	even	if	you	haven't	seen	the	truman	show	,	you've	probably	learned	most	of	the	crucial	details	from	the	commercials	,	the	trailer	and	other	promotion	blitzes	.	if	anything	i've	written	so	far	is	a	surprise	to	you	,	then	i	pity	you	for	making	me	a	primary	source	for	your	entertainment	news	.	either	way	,	you	should	probably	know	the	premise	of	the	truman	show	going	into	it	,	because	otherwise	you'll	probably	think	it	sucks	.	it	begins	with	jim	carrey	looking	into	a	mirror	,	reciting	the	crucial	"	eat	me	"	scene	from	alive	,	wishing	his	neighbors	a	good	day	,	afternoon	and	evening	,	and	living	in	domestic	bliss	with	his	wife	(	laura	linney	)	.	but	weird	things	start	happening	.	a	stage	light	comes	falling	out	of	the	sky	,	truman	hears	people	tracking	his	movements	on	the	radio	and	he	swears	he	sees	his	dead	father	.	we	learn	through	a	flashback	that	his	father	drowned	when	truman	was	a	child	,	sailing	through	a	rainstorm	.	the	death	was	staged	by	director	christof	(	ed	harris	)	,	who	wanted	to	put	a	fear	of	water	into	truman	to	keep	him	from	leaving	the	island	.	similar	cruel	manipulations	keep	him	from	stumbling	upon	the	truth	,	not	the	least	of	them	truman's	best	friend	marlon	(	noah	emmerich	)	,	who	assures	him	he's	not	in	on	any	conspiracy	because	the	last	thing	he'd	ever	do	is	hurt	him	.	as	truman's	trusting	eyes	tear	over	,	christof	fades	up	emotional	synthesizer	music	for	a	worldwide	audience	of	people	who	apparently	never	watch	anything	else	.	there's	even	a	daily	behind	the	scenes	update	from	harry	shearer	that	captures	the	highlights	of	truman's	existence	.	the	key	to	a	movie	like	this	is	in	finding	the	right	balance	between	humor	and	drama	,	because	a	premise	like	this	has	its	obvious	implications	in	both	directions	.	and	it	all	hinges	on	carrey	,	who	has	to	balance	comic	naivet	with	a	real	sense	of	longing	and	drive	to	find	out	what	the	hell	is	going	on	.	he's	come	a	long	way	from	talking	butt	cheeks	in	ace	ventura	.	most	fundamentally	,	it's	just	plain	interesting	to	follow	along	as	director	peter	weir	shows	us	just	how	they	can	capture	a	person's	life	without	the	person	realizing	it	how	they	coordinate	extras	,	hide	cameras	and	feed	automatic	lines	to	actors	.	the	most	interesting	thing	about	the	truman	show	is	that	most	of	us	can	probably	imagine	some	ambitious	director	pitching	a	show	like	this	.	sure	,	the	most	interesting	tv	genre	of	the	'90s	has	been	reality	programming	and	jerry	springer's	popularity	is	through	the	roof	,	but	those	people	deserve	to	be	humiliated	for	turning	their	intimate	details	over	to	the	airwaves	.	and	when	news	shows	use	hidden	cameras	,	it's	done	in	the	name	of	the	greater	good	,	not	entertainment	.	but	merge	the	two	and	you've	got	the	truman	show	.	right	now	,	it's	implausible	i	mean	,	the	fcc	won't	let	you	say	the	s	word	on	the	air	;	do	you	think	they'd	let	you	broadcast	every	detail	of	a	man's	life	to	the	entire	world	without	his	consent	?	one	day	,	though	,	it	could	happen	.	and	,	even	though	it	would	mean	the	end	of	privacy	,	people	would	eat	it	up	.	you	know	they	would	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
pos	meteor	threat	set	to	blow	away	all	volcanoes	twisters	!	summer	is	here	again	!	this	season	could	probably	be	the	most	ambitious	season	this	decade	with	hollywood	churning	out	films	like	deep	impact	,	godzilla	,	the	x	files	,	armageddon	,	the	truman	show	,	all	of	which	has	but	one	main	aim	,	to	rock	the	box	office	.	leading	the	pack	this	summer	is	deep	impact	,	one	of	the	first	few	film	releases	from	the	spielberg	katzenberg	geffen's	dreamworks	production	company	.	following	the	rather	dismal	showing	of	their	previous	two	releases	;	mousehunt	and	amistad	,	deep	impact	shines	with	elements	which	could	just	make	it	one	of	the	biggest	movies	of	the	year	.	deep	impact	begins	with	the	discovery	of	an	earth	bound	comet	during	a	school	astronomy	outing	by	leo	beiderman	(	elijah	wood	)	which	subsequently	stirred	up	the	political	community	of	the	world	.	keeping	the	information	under	wraps	to	prevent	widespread	panic	,	president	beck	(	morgan	freeman	)	took	it	upon	himself	and	his	subordinates	to	execute	a	highly	secretive	space	project	to	destroy	the	comet	before	it	hits	earth	.	while	pursuing	a	sex	scandal	story	amongst	the	presidential	ranks	,	ambitious	up	and	coming	reporter	,	jenny	lerner	(	tea	leoni	)	unfolds	the	wool	that	president	beck	has	pulled	over	the	citizens	of	the	world	.	as	if	the	knowledge	of	the	imminent	annihilation	of	mankind	is	not	enough	,	jenny	has	to	come	to	terms	with	her	father	(	maximillian	schell	)	leaving	the	mother	for	a	younger	woman	.	20	president	beck	announces	the	discovery	and	preparations	to	destroy	the	comet	exactly	one	year	later	,	with	so	much	confidence	that	it	left	no	trace	of	panic	within	the	american	community	.	achieving	fame	from	announcement	of	the	comet	wolf	beiderman	en	route	to	earth	(	the	name	of	its	discoverers	)	,	leo	beiderman	continues	life	in	his	small	town	as	a	young	celebrity	.	a	team	of	astronauts	,	led	by	the	ageing	veteran	astronaut	spurgeon	tanner	(	robert	duvall	)	,	was	secretly	trained	to	carry	out	the	mission	to	land	on	the	comet	and	create	and	explosion	with	a	nuclear	device	,	with	the	hope	of	blowing	it	out	of	its	current	path	towards	earth	.	despite	him	being	the	most	experienced	in	the	team	,	the	younger	generation	of	astronauts	in	the	team	doubts	tanner's	ability	due	to	his	age	.	but	these	are	just	problems	of	individuals	.	life	on	earth	goes	on	as	any	other	day	,	confident	that	the	comet	will	be	destroyed	.	when	the	attempt	to	avert	wolf	beiderman's	path	failed	and	caused	the	comet	to	split	into	two	:	comet	wolf	and	comet	beiderman	,	the	president	unfolds	his	contingency	plan	to	evacuate	part	of	the	population	,	leaving	the	rest	to	die	.	citizens	are	randomly	chosen	to	live	underground	for	2	years	prior	to	impact	,	when	the	dust	due	to	the	impact	around	earth	have	settled	,	by	then	all	life	on	the	surface	would	have	died	.	jenny	and	leo	were	picked	but	many	of	their	loved	ones	were	not	,	only	a	handful	of	earth's	population	will	be	saved	from	destruction	.	20	deep	impact's	moving	moments	occur	in	the	least	special	effect	laced	scenes	.	while	the	effects	are	fantastic	,	they	only	form	a	small	part	of	the	film	,	which	indulges	itself	in	the	development	of	its	main	characters	;	leo	,	lerner	and	tanner	.	leo's	struggle	when	he	learns	that	his	girlfriend	is	not	part	of	the	population	to	be	saved	,	lerner's	dwindling	relationship	with	her	father	and	her	pain	for	the	mother's	loneliness	,	tanner's	strive	to	gain	the	respect	he	deserves	from	his	crew	and	his	ultimate	sacrifice	,	all	form	the	backbone	of	deep	impact's	moving	moments	.	deep	impact	smells	suspiciously	like	the	previous	year	release	contact	despite	vivid	differences	.	i	think	its	probably	because	they	both	delve	in	a	story	of	global	proportions	and	indulges	in	the	premise	of	hope	,	faith	and	life	itself	.	both	do	not	depend	heavily	on	eye	candy	in	the	form	of	cgi	effects	.	director	mimi	leder	(	who	won	numerous	awards	directing	television	series	,	and	made	her	debut	with	peacekeeper	last	year	)	is	definitely	a	director	to	watch	.	20	despite	this	being	the	first	of	the	two	meteor	movies	this	summer	(	the	other	being	armageddon	)	,	i	think	there	will	be	stark	differences	in	the	approach	to	the	subject	matter	.	while	the	premise	of	both	may	be	the	same	,	execution	and	focus	of	the	films	will	in	fact	show	that	deep	impact	has	more	focus	on	human	elements	than	armageddon	,	which	is	done	by	the	team	which	brought	us	bad	boys	,	crimson	tide	and	the	rock	.	20	deep	impact	should	be	able	to	satisfy	a	variety	of	audiences	;	from	the	most	action	craving	to	those	who	just	want	to	immerse	into	its	manipulative	but	nonetheless	dramatic	premise	.
pos	desperate	measures	(	1998	)	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	copyright	1998	the	jacksonville	film	journal	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	"	desperate	measures	"	was	something	i	was	excited	about	seeing	back	when	it	was	originally	scheduled	to	be	released	:	summer	'97	.	for	some	reason	,	it	was	delayed	until	hollywood's	traditional	dumping	ground	:	january	.	now	that	it's	out	,	i	see	no	real	reason	for	that	delay	,	as	it's	a	simple	yet	highly	entertaining	film	.	michael	keaton	stars	as	a	maniacial	murderer	who's	bone	marrow	can	save	the	life	of	the	dying	son	of	a	san	francisco	police	detective	(	garcia	)	.	keaton	agrees	to	the	transplant	,	only	so	he	can	attempt	escape	.	he	succeeds	,	in	a	plan	that	of	course	could	only	work	in	the	movies	.	the	police	force	is	now	trying	to	kill	keaton	,	while	garcia	is	working	against	them	trying	to	keep	keaton	alive	in	order	to	save	his	son	.	the	film	definately	has	it's	flaws	.	the	plot	is	strictly	tv	movie	of	the	week	fare	,	but	the	acting	and	direction	certainly	boost	it	far	above	that	status	.	also	,	after	keaton's	escape	,	garcia's	captain	barks	at	him	"	how	many	men	have	to	die	to	save	your	kid's	life	?	"	which	the	film	treats	as	such	an	evil	and	insignificant	remark	.	the	thing	is	,	it's	a	vaild	point	.	how	many	people	have	to	be	needlessly	crippled	,	burned	,	and	killed	just	to	save	this	one	child	?	what's	the	greater	good	here	?	many	lives	or	one	life	?	if	movies	really	had	guts	nowadays	,	i	would	have	loved	to	have	seen	this	movie	come	down	to	a	final	choice	for	garcia's	character	.	place	him	in	a	situation	where	he	knows	that	he	has	to	kill	keaton	because	keaton	is	about	to	kill	someone	else	.	alas	,	movies	these	days	generally	have	no	such	ambition	to	pull	the	audience's	strings	in	ways	which	might	make	the	uncomfortable	.	despite	a	few	silly	moments	(	and	one	or	two	really	stupid	ones	)	,	the	good	things	about	"	desperate	measures	"	outnumber	the	bad	.	the	main	highlight	would	be	keaton's	performance	.	the	character	could	have	easily	been	an	overacting	,	scene	chewing	freak	,	but	keaton	underplays	it	nicely	.	he's	not	as	menacing	as	he	was	in	"	pacific	heights	"	or	even	as	menacing	as	he	was	in	"	batman	"	(	yes	kids	,	batman	used	to	be	a	dark	character	)	,	but	you	certainly	get	the	idea	that	he's	evil	.	even	the	final	scene	of	the	film	,	which	normally	i	would	just	hate	,	seems	strangely	appropriate	for	this	film	.	so	much	so	that	i	didn't	mind	it	in	the	slightest	.	and	another	bonus	:	the	film	takes	place	in	san	francisco	,	which	usually	means	a	car	chase	on	those	hills	that	you've	seen	a	billion	times	before	.	and	for	a	moment	,	it	looked	as	though	it	was	about	to	happen	.	but	it	doesn't	,	and	that's	creative	.	r	hr	the	jacksonville	film	journal	film	reviews	by	chuck	dowling	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	"	http	:	users	.	southeast	.	net	chuckd21	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	"	email	:	chuckd21	leading	.	net	a	1995	1998	of	the	jacksonville	film	journal	.	no	reviews	may	be	reprinted	without	permission	.
pos	the	rich	man's	wife	is	one	of	those	movies	like	final	analysis	or	body	double	,	where	the	story	and	characters	are	so	one	dimensional	and	contrived	that	you	know	you	shouldn't	be	enjoying	yourself	.	but	somehow	,	the	movie	just	tries	so	hard	that	you	begin	to	forgive	it	and	get	into	the	swing	of	things	.	not	that	it's	bad	,	it's	just	that	it's	been	done	before	;	and	better	,	in	my	opinion	.	i	realize	that	this	is	going	to	sound	pretty	bizarre	,	but	it's	probably	the	best	analogy	that	i	can	come	up	with	right	now	;	you	know	how	when	you	see	a	spider	or	something	in	your	toilet	,	striving	helplessly	to	get	out	,	and	instead	of	just	flushing	him	,	you	end	up	kind	of	rooting	for	the	little	guy	?	that's	basically	how	i	felt	about	this	movie	.	i	mean	,	it's	not	very	good	,	but	it's	not	completely	bad	either	.	the	wife	of	the	title	is	josie	potenza	(	played	nicely	by	halle	berry	)	.	she	is	married	to	tony	(	christopher	mcdonald	.	.	.	you	know	,	the	guy	who	looks	like	joe	piscapo	)	,	a	really	stressed	out	businessman	who	drinks	way	to	much	and	doesn't	give	josie	the	attention	she	deserves	(	cough	,	cough	)	.	thus	,	she	is	driven	into	the	arms	of	another	man	,	jake	golden	(	clive	owen	)	.	near	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	josie	decides	to	try	and	work	things	out	with	tony	by	dumping	jake	and	going	on	a	vacation	to	a	remote	cabin	in	the	woods	.	once	there	,	however	,	tony	has	to	leave	almost	immediately	due	to	business	details	(	i'm	still	not	quite	sure	what	line	of	work	he's	in	)	.	making	the	best	of	her	situation	,	josie	stays	there	and	begins	making	the	rounds	at	the	local	bars	.	one	night	,	she	meets	a	stranger	named	cole	(	peter	greene	,	finally	getting	a	meaty	role	)	.	they	have	dinner	together	,	and	eventually	,	both	josie	and	the	audience	start	to	realize	that	cole	is	homicidal	.	after	learning	that	she	is	not	happily	married	,	cole	offers	to	"	take	care	"	of	the	problem	.	managing	to	escape	from	the	psychotic	maniac	,	josie	returns	home	and	starts	a	reconciliation	with	her	estranged	and	very	wealthy	husband	.	but	then	one	night	,	cole	shows	up	.	.	.	and	here	is	where	the	fun	begins	.	from	this	point	on	,	it's	going	to	be	a	no	holds	barred	cliche	fest	,	ripping	off	every	movie	from	strangers	on	a	train	to	the	usual	suspects	.	this	is	why	most	critics	panned	this	movie	when	it	first	came	out	.	and	for	the	most	part	,	they're	right	;	the	rich	man's	wife	has	nary	one	original	bone	in	it's	body	.	but	who	cares	?	if	you're	looking	for	good	ol'	dumb	suspense	movie	,	you	can't	do	much	better	than	this	.	and	if	you	suspense	buffs	aren't	already	sold	,	it	has	a	killer	of	an	ending	too	.
pos	rounders	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	(	out	of	)	miramax	1	:	55	1998	r	(	language	,	beatings	,	brief	nudity	sexual	content	)	cast	:	matt	damon	;	edward	norton	;	john	turturro	;	martin	landau	;	gretchen	mol	;	famke	janssen	;	john	malkovich	;	michael	rispoli	director	:	john	dahl	screenplay	:	david	levien	;	brian	koppelman	hr	you	don't	have	to	know	poker	to	like	"	rounders	,	"	but	it	might	help	.	that	a	great	deal	of	this	sharp	little	drama	is	set	in	the	back	rooms	of	new	york's	cardshark	underground	astoundingly	doesn't	limit	its	accessibility	,	even	for	those	who	can't	tell	royal	and	straight	flushes	apart	.	"	rounders	"	'	success	,	then	,	is	owed	to	its	proficient	cast	and	intriguing	portrayal	of	a	world	not	many	viewers	will	be	familiar	with	.	the	dialogue	may	be	filled	with	terms	that	only	true	players	will	grasp	,	but	you	don't	have	to	speak	the	language	to	understand	the	words	a	statement	that	pretty	much	sums	up	the	effectiveness	of	the	whole	show	.	matt	damon	,	fresh	off	his	"	good	will	hunting	"	hot	streak	,	is	perfect	for	the	role	of	mike	mcdermott	,	a	young	law	student	with	a	tremendous	gift	for	gambling	.	but	after	losing	all	of	his	tuition	money	in	a	killer	high	stakes	match	with	russian	poker	aficionado	teddy	kgb	(	john	malkovich	,	deliciously	hammy	)	,	he	shifts	his	focus	to	scholarly	matters	,	leaving	his	true	area	of	expertise	far	,	far	behind	.	things	change	,	however	,	when	mike's	old	buddy	worm	(	edward	norton	)	re	enters	his	life	it	seems	worm	,	just	out	of	jail	,	owes	a	hefty	sum	to	nasty	thugs	,	and	is	counting	on	his	friend's	superlative	skills	to	help	him	pay	off	the	debt	.	that	"	rounders	"	'	story	quickly	molds	itself	into	a	conventional	,	predictable	tale	of	redemption	doesn't	hinder	its	potency	.	director	john	dahl	,	infamous	for	his	neo	noirs	"	red	rock	west	"	and	"	the	last	seduction	,	"	gets	extremely	convincing	mileage	out	of	the	been	there	,	done	that	plot	mechanics	by	trumping	up	the	relationship	between	mike	and	worm	.	damon	and	norton	bring	so	much	to	their	roles	that	they'd	be	worth	catching	even	if	"	rounders	"	ultimately	folded	,	but	the	movie	ups	its	fascinating	ante	by	contrasting	their	wildly	different	ways	of	winning	.	any	sequence	where	the	two	men	sit	at	the	table	together	is	an	unarguable	highlight	.	if	only	the	other	character	interaction	was	as	successful	,	"	rounders	"	might	merit	consideration	when	it	comes	time	to	number	the	year's	best	films	.	current	"	it	girl	"	gretchen	mol	is	sweetly	appealing	as	mike's	girlfriend	jo	,	aware	and	weary	of	his	seedy	past	,	but	her	scenes	with	damon	number	too	few	to	be	very	effective	.	john	turturro's	aging	mentor	and	famke	janssen's	tempting	siren	,	both	interesting	sketches	,	are	hampered	by	the	same	limited	screen	time	.	and	as	a	wizened	judge	,	the	great	martin	landau	makes	memorable	a	role	that's	mostly	a	plot	device	he's	on	hand	mostly	to	sort	of	save	the	day	and	provide	a	voice	for	"	rounders	"	'	moral	.	that	moral	,	by	the	way	,	is	"	our	destiny	chooses	us	,	"	and	it's	something	of	a	surprise	when	"	rounders	"	supports	this	solemn	proverb	by	eschewing	the	conclusion	you	might	expect	;	mike	does	learn	from	his	mistake	,	but	neither	the	mistake	nor	the	way	he	learns	from	it	is	what	it	initially	appears	to	be	.	in	the	end	,	"	rounders	"	sees	gambling	as	less	a	mere	addiction	than	a	potential	art	form	,	but	the	poker	itself	is	only	a	metaphor	for	a	much	larger	picture	.	the	road	to	true	fulfillment	lies	within	the	realization	and	exercising	of	your	natural	passions	,	the	movie	espouses	,	no	matter	what	they	might	be	.	here	,	low	rent	lowlifes	like	worm	just	aren't	cut	out	for	the	cards	.	screenwriters	david	levien	and	brian	koppelman	entertain	and	educate	in	their	quest	to	vividly	render	a	culture	that's	often	generalized	by	movies	;	even	complete	poker	neophytes	should	cross	the	line	from	observers	to	participants	when	the	movie	gets	to	its	concluding	game	scene	.	inside	every	adventurous	filmgoer	,	there	is	a	desire	to	be	taken	someplace	new	and	exciting	,	and	that's	the	precise	allure	of	"	rounders	.	"	it	ultimately	matters	not	that	a	few	of	our	tour	guides	feel	partially	realized	or	that	the	journey	itself	is	cluttered	with	sites	we've	seen	before	,	because	the	final	destination	is	a	satisfying	one	.	in	the	end	,	"	rounders	"	holds	a	winning	hand	.	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	like	so	many	horror	films	,	this	one	is	set	on	a	national	holiday	the	fourth	of	july	.	christmas	and	graduation	day	are	also	popular	,	although	thanksgiving	now	seems	reserved	for	movies	about	dysfunctional	families	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"
pos	american	pie	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	pie	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	pie	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	jason	biggs	,	thomas	ian	nicholas	,	chris	klein	,	tara	reid	screenplay	by	adam	herz	directed	by	paul	weitz	american	pie	acknowledges	a	cold	,	hard	fact	that	most	movies	don't	:	it	is	very	difficult	to	get	laid	.	its	four	virgin	heroes	are	jim	(	biggs	)	,	a	chronic	masturbator	,	kev	(	nicholas	)	,	who	desperately	wants	to	deflower	his	girlfriend	(	reid	)	,	oz	(	klein	)	,	a	lacrosse	player	whose	approach	requires	some	fine	tuning	,	and	finch	(	eddie	kaye	thomas	)	,	a	germphobe	(	his	crass	nickname	is	hilarious	,	but	i	won't	spoil	it	here	)	who	pays	a	classmate	to	spread	rumours	about	the	size	of	his	member	.	jim	,	kev	,	oz	and	finch	attend	a	high	school	in	suburban	michigan	full	of	so	many	impossibly	beautiful	women	it's	no	wonder	they're	horny	all	the	time	.	after	a	party	at	their	studly	friend	stifler's	(	seann	william	scott	,	in	the	film's	sharpest	performance	)	house	leaves	them	sexually	unsatisfied	,	the	quartet	make	a	pact	:	to	"	lose	it	"	by	graduation	specifically	,	prom	night	,	which	is	only	a	few	weeks	away	.	american	pie	is	in	the	tradition	of	bachelor	party	or	revenge	of	the	nerds	.	almost	every	conversation	these	characters	have	revolves	around	makin'	whoopee	.	all	women	are	there	to	be	ogled	.	(	alyson	hannigan's	perky	music	student	is	the	only	memorable	female	of	the	bunch	.	)	situations	abound	that	defy	logic	only	to	arouse	and	or	amuse	its	core	audience	,	adolescent	boys	.	(	to	arouse	:	nadia's	(	shannon	elizabeth	)	internet	striptease	an	unexpectedly	raucous	(	and	guiltily	pleasurable	)	sequence	.	to	amuse	:	jim's	lusty	encounter	with	a	hot	apple	pie	.	)	what	differentiates	american	pie	from	those	dirty	eighties	comedies	,	aside	from	a	very	nineties	obsession	with	bodily	fluids	,	is	a	cast	that's	light	years	more	appealing	than	that	of	,	say	,	just	one	of	the	guys	.	two	more	standouts	:	klein	and	"	sctv	"	's	eugene	levy	.	klein	plays	a	kind	hearted	athlete	for	the	second	time	in	a	row	,	after	alexander	payne's	underappreciated	election	.	i	hope	to	see	more	of	this	warm	actor	with	the	disarmingly	honest	face	very	soon	.	levy's	is	the	most	crowd	pleasing	performance	,	and	indeed	,	it's	nice	to	see	him	back	on	the	big	screen	in	a	role	that	makes	wonderful	use	of	that	expressive	brow	.	american	pie	also	wants	to	emulate	the	teen	flicks	your	parents	_	would	_	let	you	watch	growing	up	.	it	skillfully	employs	a	broad	mix	of	pop	tunes	,	much	like	john	hughes'	movies	did	,	and	even	pays	homage	to	the	breakfast	club	a	couple	of	times	,	most	evidently	when	the	prom	band	covers	simple	minds'	"	don't	you	(	forget	about	me	)	.	"	the	picture	ultimately	has	a	healthy	,	if	obligatory	,	attitude	towards	safe	sex	even	at	their	most	libidinous	,	american	pie's	protagonists	first	whip	out	a	condom	.	the	filmmakers	prove	that	socially	responsible	raunch	is	possible	.	for	its	familiarity	and	for	its	charming	leads	,	i	recommend	american	pie	,	but	the	buzz	on	this	film	had	me	expecting	something	.	.	.	fresher	.	as	far	as	the	new	teen	cinema	goes	,	it's	at	the	top	of	the	heap	.	don't	say	i	didn't	warn	you	about	the	party	scene	.
pos	all	those	who	were	offended	by	there's	something	about	mary	should	not	tread	in	the	waters	of	american	pie	,	a	gratuitously	sexual	rollercoaster	ride	of	raunch	.	and	while	this	uproariously	funny	,	gross	out	summer	movie	is	basically	an	exercise	in	bad	taste	,	it	also	demonstrates	a	surprising	sweetness	in	the	end	.	american	pie	is	the	latest	entry	to	the	offensive	teenage	targeted	fare	this	season	.	i	must	question	the	studio	that	releases	a	movie	like	this	.	the	producers	are	aiming	these	films	at	the	15	24	crowd	,	but	while	pushing	the	limit	of	possible	sex	and	violence	in	an	r	rated	film	.	some	have	even	been	narrowly	avoiding	the	dreaded	nc	17	,	a	rating	the	mpaa	gives	when	the	adult	content	surpasses	even	that	of	a	restricted	movie	.	american	pie	was	threatened	with	an	nc	17	,	but	after	snipping	a	few	scenes	from	the	finished	product	,	it	was	given	an	r	.	but	at	least	this	new	addition	is	not	as	careless	and	unforgiving	as	something	like	south	park	.	it	is	sick	,	perverse	,	and	ultimately	disgusting	not	to	mention	extremely	funny	.	american	pie	is	about	four	desperate	teenagers	who	make	a	pact	to	lose	their	virginity	by	prom	night	.	jim	(	jason	biggs	)	,	kevin	(	thomas	ian	nicholas	)	,	oz	(	chris	klein	)	and	finch	(	eddie	kaye	thomas	)	are	a	quartet	of	high	school	students	in	their	senior	year	who	think	sex	is	something	they	must	experience	to	be	successful	in	their	lives	ahead	.	jim	inquires	what	it	feels	like	when	you	reach	third	base	,	to	which	one	of	his	friends	replies	:	like	warm	apple	pie	.	.	.	'	.	of	course	,	this	prompts	the	scene	unfairly	exposed	in	the	trailers	,	in	which	jim	and	a	freshly	baked	pie	have	a	very	intimate	moment	in	the	kitchen	corner	.	there	are	many	moments	,	such	as	this	,	in	which	director	paul	weitz	uses	a	game	plan	similar	to	the	one	frequently	displayed	in	mary	:	to	cause	the	audience	to	break	down	laughing	in	disgusting	disbelief	.	american	pie	is	a	hard	fought	effort	that	has	replenishing	rewards	if	you	manage	to	stick	with	it	.	i	loved	the	young	cast	in	this	movie	.	consider	the	subject	matter	that	these	actors	have	dealt	with	,	obviously	suggestiveness	never	rivaled	in	any	of	their	previous	projects	,	and	you	should	appreciate	their	performances	.	biggs	is	more	than	enjoyable	,	and	chris	klein	(	who	recently	played	a	similar	jock	in	election	)	is	obviously	a	young	talent	on	the	rise	.	but	in	a	teen	dominated	movie	,	the	best	performance	comes	from	comedian	eugene	levy	(	of	television's	sctv	)	,	who	is	unexpectedly	brilliant	as	jim's	uneasy	father	.	scenes	in	which	the	familiar	father	son	conversations	are	brought	to	interesting	new	levels	are	the	funniest	moments	to	be	found	in	american	pie	.	after	levy	discovers	jim's	new	use	for	apple	pie	,	he	tells	him	,	i	did	a	fare	share	of	that	sort	of	thing	when	i	was	your	age	.	but	i	never	used	baked	goods	.	'	it	is	performances	such	as	his	,	and	bill	murray's	in	rushmore	,	that	are	often	unfairly	dismissed	when	awards	are	handed	out	.	there	are	some	less	than	original	aspects	of	the	film	.	a	bathroom	incident	involving	finch	and	a	bottle	of	ex	lax	is	something	we've	seen	before	.	if	weitz	is	planning	to	take	after	the	farrelly	brothers	,	then	this	is	a	decidedly	unwise	move	:	the	same	prank	was	pulled	in	the	brother's	dumb	and	dumber	,	and	used	to	greater	effect	.	secondly	,	the	characters	are	forced	into	a	half	hearted	climax	that	seems	more	artificial	than	amusing	.	but	at	one	point	,	in	which	we	discover	that	american	pie	does	have	a	heart	of	it's	own	,	biggs	asks	his	buddies	why	he's	going	through	so	much	pressure	for	something	that's	not	very	important	anyway	.	'	and	so	we	realize	that	while	the	film	is	expressive	about	a	subject	that	is	hardly	appropriate	,	it	still	manages	to	be	mature	.	in	it's	own	way	.
pos	based	on	the	boris	karloff's	classic	by	the	same	name	,	the	mummy	starts	off	with	the	high	priest	of	osiris	,	imhotep	,	who	murders	the	pharoah	for	his	mistress	and	is	punished	by	being	mummified	in	the	most	horrifying	way	possible	bandaged	up	,	having	his	tongue	removed	,	and	being	covered	in	flesh	eating	scarab	beetles	,	then	entombed	.	.	.	all	while	still	alive	.	recap	a	few	thousand	years	later	,	where	a	soldier	named	rick	(	played	by	brandan	fraser	)	aids	a	young	historian	named	evelyn	(	played	by	rachel	wiesz	)	and	her	brother	,	jonathan	(	played	by	john	hannah	)	in	finding	the	book	of	amon	ra	,	in	the	process	inadvertently	freeing	the	mummy	.	problem	is	that	the	mummy	wants	to	revive	his	mistress	,	using	evelyn	as	a	sacrifice	.	.	.	walking	in	with	relatively	low	expectations	,	i	thought	this	movie	was	actually	pretty	good	.	the	visuals	and	cgi	are	astounding	,	and	obviously	not	cheaply	done	at	all	.	they	pack	a	ton	of	detail	into	the	images	,	especially	during	scenes	involving	mummies	rendered	completely	by	cgi	.	the	computer	special	effects	makes	for	some	brilliant	scenes	,	such	as	unnerving	moments	involving	flesh	eating	scarab	beetles	and	moments	where	the	mummy	goes	after	the	people	who	freed	him	(	after	all	,	those	who	took	his	artifacts	are	cursed	)	.	unfortunately	,	the	film	attempts	to	be	way	too	much	in	such	a	short	span	of	time	,	becoming	a	tug	of	war	for	control	between	genres	.	on	one	hand	,	it	is	a	fast	paced	action	film	.	on	the	other	,	it's	a	frightening	horror	film	.	and	on	the	side	,	it's	a	hilarious	comedy	.	ideally	,	for	it	to	be	successful	,	the	film	would	have	to	focus	on	one	the	more	action	oriented	aspect	,	with	one	character	serving	as	the	comic	relief	(	that	would	be	johnson	)	.	the	problem	with	this	film	is	that	it	has	at	least	three	characters	serving	as	comic	relief	,	with	rick	occasionally	delivering	his	witty	one	liner	.	if	they	were	trying	to	make	a	horror	action	comedy	,	it	would	have	helped	if	it	were	established	early	on	in	the	film	,	but	unfortunately	,	with	the	backstory	of	imhotep's	entombment	,	that	would	be	impossible	.	and	then	there's	the	slapstick	fight	scene	between	a	sword	wielding	rick	and	an	army	of	mummies	.	while	really	well	done	,	it	had	the	feel	of	slapstick	comedy	.	replace	the	sword	with	a	chainsaw	and	you'd	effectively	have	ash	fighting	zombies	in	army	of	darkness	.	while	entertaining	and	funny	,	it	feels	really	out	of	place	.	but	at	least	it's	a	break	from	the	naive	heroes	that	brendan	fraser	has	been	playing	a	lot	of	.	on	the	whole	,	the	movie	is	pure	popcorn	fare	from	beginning	to	end	,	entertaining	the	audience	.	but	i	must	end	my	review	with	a	plea	to	movie	theatre	owners	.	.	.	turn	the	sound	down	!	while	a	lot	of	theatres	have	good	sound	systems	,	my	ears	were	almost	ringing	as	i	walked	out	of	the	theatre	(	the	sound	is	particularly	irritating	and	will	make	you	crap	your	pants	if	you're	not	careful	)	.	when	they	were	showing	the	trailer	for	the	upcoming	schwarzenegger	film	,	"	end	of	days	"	,	it	was	so	loud	i	couldn't	make	anything	out	.
pos	my	filmcritic	.	com	colleague	norm	schrager	nailed	session	9	,	brad	anderson's	throwback	to	spooky	horror	films	from	the	70's	.	it	worked	as	an	eerie	homage	without	being	self	referential	or	smugly	postmodern	.	genre	aficionados	will	acknowledge	the	similarities	in	tone	to	stanley	kubrick's	the	shining	and	george	romero's	dawn	of	the	dead	without	being	taken	out	of	the	engrossing	narrative	(	i	.	e	.	,	a	psychologically	addled	waste	management	team	clears	out	an	abandoned	lunatic	asylum	;	unspeakable	dread	ensues	)	.	in	a	double	whammy	for	2001	,	anderson	shoots	and	(	mostly	)	scores	again	with	his	eclectic	riff	on	time	travel	episodes	from	the	twilight	zone	,	appropriately	titled	happy	accidents	.	much	like	session	9	,	the	cards	are	played	very	close	to	the	vest	here	.	is	boyish	,	eccentric	"	sam	deed	from	dubuque	,	iowa	"	a	futuristic	voyager	from	the	year	2470	or	just	your	run	of	the	mill	psychologically	disturbed	nutcase	let	loose	on	the	present	day	streets	of	nyc	?	as	played	by	wonderful	character	actor	vincent	d'onofrio	(	full	metal	jacket	)	,	it's	up	in	the	air	whether	or	not	we	should	accept	his	detailed	monologues	about	life	after	the	polar	ice	caps	have	melted	.	the	question	proves	to	be	moot	,	at	least	for	a	time	.	even	if	the	whole	thing	proves	to	be	a	creative	delusion	,	one	agrees	with	the	character	judgment	passed	down	on	him	by	his	new	girlfriend	,	ruby	(	marisa	tomei	)	:	"	he's	a	freak	,	but	he	sure	tells	a	good	story	!	"	neurotic	ruby	thinks	she	may	have	found	true	love	after	a	series	of	nightmarish	dating	disasters	(	the	junkie	,	the	fetishist	,	the	artist	,	the	frenchman	,	etc	.	)	,	but	isn't	quite	sure	how	to	handle	"	sam	deed	"	when	he	starts	explaining	the	barcode	on	his	arm	,	his	elaborately	constructed	fake	identity	,	his	pathological	fear	of	dogs	,	his	ability	to	speak	five	different	languages	,	and	his	mission	to	change	a	crucial	moment	in	time	that	may	have	ramifications	on	time's	alternate	realities	.	(	don't	ask	.	)	it's	all	a	bit	much	to	take	in	.	ruby's	close	friend	gretchen	(	cuz	ya	can't	have	a	love	story	without	the	token	friend	,	though	nadia	dajani	invests	the	thankless	role	with	warmth	)	chalks	it	up	as	a	sexy	role	playing	game	,	but	her	cautious	therapist	(	holland	taylor	)	warns	her	that	co	dependency	is	rearing	its	ugly	head	again	and	she's	in	over	her	head	with	yet	another	doomed	relationship	.	who	ya	gonna	believe	?	despite	her	winning	an	academy	award	,	marisa	tomei	has	always	struck	me	as	an	annoying	and	unwelcome	screen	presence	,	one	that	undermines	the	pleasure	of	watching	happy	accidents	.	her	brassy	new	yawk	attitude	never	really	meshes	with	her	desperate	desire	to	appear	"	cute	"	to	her	adoring	fans	.	being	loud	and	flashing	a	(	disingenuous	)	smile	does	not	necessarily	equal	"	substantial	and	sexy	.	"	it	takes	more	than	a	crack	team	of	hair	and	wardrobe	people	to	imbue	her	with	personality	.	then	there's	that	damned	voice	,	which	strains	to	be	oh	so	adorable	.	look	,	this	stuff	is	purely	subjective	.	some	people	feel	this	way	about	richard	gere	,	others	cannot	bear	to	watch	robin	williams'	hyperactive	schtick	.	for	my	money	,	it's	m	.	tomei	with	a	bullet	.	happy	accidents	is	a	romantic	comedy	filtered	through	twelve	monkeys	(	or	,	more	appropriately	,	chris	marker's	la	jetee	,	especially	with	those	still	framed	"	memory	"	photographs	anderson	employs	as	a	stylistic	device	throughout	)	.	modern	manhattan	is	filmed	with	an	otherworldly	,	vaguely	alien	eye	with	a	color	scheme	oddly	reminiscent	of	logan's	run	.	as	the	stranger	in	a	strange	land	,	d'onofrio	walks	slightly	out	of	step	,	wonderfully	affable	but	often	inscrutable	with	his	wayward	expressions	and	bemused	detachment	.	this	is	science	fiction	told	mainly	via	the	power	of	suggestion	(	though	it	often	falls	into	the	sci	fi	trap	of	having	entirely	too	much	forced	exposition	we	want	deeds	,	not	words	!	)	at	least	twenty	minutes	too	long	,	happy	accidents	eventually	gets	around	to	a	race	against	time	scenario	that	puts	"	sam	deed	"	to	the	ultimate	test	.	no	movie	can	live	in	ambiguity	forever	,	but	anderson	seems	terminally	unable	to	provide	satisfactory	conclusions	to	his	otherwise	well	structured	recent	narratives	.	(	let's	pretend	the	loathsome	and	predictable	next	stop	wonderland	never	happened	,	shall	we	?	)	there	are	also	some	slow	,	repetitive	stretches	as	ruby	and	sam	go	over	the	same	arguments	again	and	again	over	whether	or	not	he's	crazy	.	the	premise	is	strong	enough	to	sustain	interest	,	but	it's	enough	to	throw	a	nod	in	the	general	direction	of	rod	serling	for	wrapping	up	his	ideas	in	half	hour	time	slots	,	commercials	included	.
pos	rated	r	fine	line	features	in	english	and	italian	with	english	subtitles	starring	thandie	newton	,	david	thewlis	,	claudio	santamaria	based	on	a	story	by	james	landun	written	by	bernardo	bertolucci	and	clare	peploe	directed	by	bernardo	bertolucci	an	old	african	man	plucks	a	tribal	instrument	and	sings	in	a	scratchy	voice	.	a	woman	walks	alone	down	a	dirt	road	,	then	watches	her	husband	get	taken	away	to	a	military	prison	.	a	lonely	man	sits	in	an	enormous	roman	home	and	plays	an	intense	piece	he	has	just	composed	on	the	piano	.	these	are	but	a	few	of	the	breathtaking	images	caught	on	film	in	bernardo	bertolucci's	beautifully	made	"	besieged	"	.	over	many	years	,	this	italian	filmmaker	has	made	a	name	for	himself	with	exquisite	,	emotional	films	such	as	"	the	last	emperor	"	and	"	last	tango	in	paris	"	.	bertolucci's	latest	film	,	"	besieged	"	is	a	work	of	art	if	i've	ever	seen	one	.	the	film	stars	thandie	newton	,	who	was	robbed	of	a	much	deserved	oscar	nod	for	her	gritty	work	in	the	title	role	of	last	year's	underappreciated	"	beloved	"	,	as	shandurai	,	a	beautiful	black	woman	working	as	a	maid	in	the	home	of	lonely	pianist	mr	.	kinsky	(	david	thewlis	)	.	shandurai's	husband	has	been	imprisoned	for	unkown	reasons	,	and	she	is	learning	that	mr	.	kinsky	is	in	love	with	her	.	shandurai	tries	to	shy	away	from	men	since	she	is	married	(	her	only	friend	is	homosexual	)	,	and	mr	.	kinsky	doesn't	push	her	.	the	siege	mentioned	in	the	title	is	a	subtle	,	emotional	one	.	as	the	film	progresses	,	shandurai	feels	herself	falling	into	mr	.	kinsky's	trap	.	there	is	not	much	plot	to	speak	of	in	"	besieged	"	,	for	it	is	a	collage	of	incredible	images	piled	on	to	one	another	;	each	one	having	ambiguous	meaning	.	the	last	scene	of	the	film	,	however	,	undercuts	the	satisying	buildup	,	and	will	leave	most	viewers	out	in	the	dark	.	"	besieged	"	is	a	cold	film	,	but	an	engrossing	one	.	bertolucci's	attention	to	detail	creates	a	vivid	motion	picture	.	but	as	i	left	the	theatre	,	i	couldn't	help	but	want	to	know	more	about	each	character's	background	.	shandurai's	dark	past	is	barely	hinted	at	,	and	mr	.	kinsky	has	no	story	at	all	.	there	is	such	a	serious	drought	of	dialogue	in	this	film	,	that	i'm	sure	quentin	tarantino	could	have	made	this	entire	screenplay	into	a	5	minute	film	.	but	bernardo	bertolucci's	swift	hand	and	fabio	cianchetti's	lucid	camerawork	keep	"	besieged	"	real	.	the	very	special	thing	about	this	movie	is	that	i'm	sure	10	people	could	walk	out	of	it	with	entirely	different	opinions	of	each	aspect	.	if	you	like	films	that	are	unabashedly	artsy	,	then	"	besieged	"	was	made	just	for	you	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	director	:	roger	spottiswoode	writer	:	bruce	feirstein	starring	:	pierce	brosnan	,	jonathan	pryce	,	michelle	yeoh	,	teri	hatcher	,	ricky	jay	,	goetz	otto	,	judi	dench	,	desmond	llewelyn	,	joe	don	baker	,	vincent	shiavelli	,	samantha	bond	the	bond	series	is	an	island	in	the	film	world	;	where	else	would	we	look	forward	to	cliches	,	and	all	of	the	other	things	that	occur	in	most	of	these	films	?	where	else	would	pure	escapism	,	a	vulnerable	hero	,	the	"	talking	villains	,	"	blatant	product	placement	,	predictable	action	sequences	,	and	lots	of	promiscuity	be	hoped	for	instead	of	a	significant	change	?	i	don't	understand	it	myself	,	but	that's	what	the	bond	series	is	based	on	.	for	(	i	think	)	18	films	,	we've	mostly	got	the	same	thing	over	and	over	again	,	with	some	variation	(	and	a	bit	of	change	,	most	notably	in	the	two	dalton	films	)	.	but	even	i	,	a	king	of	cynicism	,	can't	bitch	about	it	.	and	"	tomorrow	never	dies	,	"	the	(	again	,	i	think	)	eighteenth	bond	film	,	and	second	brosnan	bond	film	,	is	no	exception	.	thank	god	!	the	plot	,	as	in	most	of	them	,	is	pure	balderdash	,	but	seems	to	have	a	nice	kind	of	edge	to	it	.	instead	of	just	plain	billionaire	psychotics	,	we	get	a	rupert	murdoch	esque	media	mogul	psychotic	elliot	carver	(	jonathan	pryce	,	looking	bitching	with	a	white	haired	cru	cut	,	and	always	talking	like	he's	out	of	breath	)	,	who	has	the	admittingly	ingenius	idea	of	getting	ratings	by	creating	a	war	.	no	,	this	is	not	"	wag	the	dog	"	he	wants	a	real	war	,	between	china	and	england	,	and	is	stupid	enough	to	put	the	coverage	out	before	anyone	else	discovered	it	.	.	.	in	comes	bond	.	james	is	sent	all	around	the	world	,	trying	to	do	research	on	carver	,	fighting	with	his	men	,	and	running	into	(	on	more	than	one	occasion	)	a	chinese	secret	agent	like	him	:	wai	lin	(	michelle	yeoh	,	asian	action	star	extraordinaire	.	.	.	and	co	star	of	"	supercop	,	"	nearly	stealing	the	screen	from	jackie	chan	in	that	one	)	.	the	two	eventually	,	and	predictably	of	course	,	begin	working	together	,	and	yes	,	there	is	some	sexual	tension	between	the	two	.	luckily	,	their	relationship	is	never	strained	,	and	she	never	gives	into	his	cassanova	ness	until	the	finale	.	thank	god	again	.	in	every	bond	film	,	james	bags	,	on	average	,	three	women	(	sometimes	more	,	sometimes	less	the	latter	being	more	potent	towards	the	aids	cautionary	dalton	)	,	and	he	doesn't	spoil	this	one	(	though	we	never	see	them	,	of	course	i	mean	,	they	need	to	stay	around	a	pg	13	rating	)	.	there's	always	one	at	the	beginning	with	some	chick	we	never	see	again	,	the	big	bond	girl	(	yeoh	)	,	and	this	time	we	have	an	almost	cameo	by	teri	hatcher	as	carver's	wife	,	paris	,	who	,	it	seems	,	was	once	one	of	the	girls	he	bags	at	the	beginning	.	yes	,	teri's	very	attractive	,	but	she	seems	kind	of	dull	.	of	course	,	it's	not	really	her	fault	;	her	part	is	under	written	,	and	she's	only	in	a	small	part	of	it	.	oh	well	.	and	there	are	always	the	big	henchmen	,	the	guys	who	do	the	dirty	work	for	the	polished	big	villains	.	this	time	we	get	a	tall	,	arian	looking	(	not	to	mention	robert	shaw	in	"	from	russia	with	love	"	looking	)	guy	named	stamper	(	goetz	otto	)	,	who	is	pretty	awesome	,	although	a	bit	stiff	(	well	,	mostly	his	posture	,	really	)	.	and	for	a	bit	of	comedy	,	we	get	a	cameo	from	vincent	shiavelli	as	a	german	or	austrian	assassin	who	is	ordered	to	do	in	bond	at	one	point	.	the	government	people	have	small	parts	,	as	usual	,	with	q	(	desmond	llewelyn	,	looking	near	death	,	sadly	)	getting	only	one	scene	(	in	a	more	grouchy	mood	than	usual	)	,	and	m	(	judi	dench	)	,	getting	more	than	m	usually	gets	(	i	mean	,	it	is	judi	dench	)	.	and	for	no	reason	whatsoever	,	except	'cause	he	was	so	good	in	"	goldeneye	,	"	joe	don	baker	shows	up	again	as	wade	,	admitting	he	has	no	reason	for	being	there	,	and	is	this	time	more	annoying	.	again	,	oh	well	.	the	action	sequences	are	not	a	let	down	,	although	sometimes	go	on	too	long	.	they	pop	up	every	now	and	then	,	mainly	because	they	have	to	(	for	the	sake	of	the	series	)	,	and	some	significant	ones	are	the	opening	one	,	one	in	a	garage	with	a	bmw	that	runs	on	remote	control	,	and	a	motorcylce	chase	(	on	a	bmw	cycle	,	nonetheless	)	through	china	streets	(	or	was	it	vietnam	.	.	.	the	plot's	not	really	essential	)	.	they're	more	high	tech	,	and	feature	much	more	laughs	,	which	,	yeah	,	i	dig	.	so	what	if	they're	distracting	;	they're	supposed	to	be	!	the	acting	,	from	most	around	is	great	.	yeoh	is	,	actually	,	one	of	the	better	bond	girls	,	mainly	because	she's	so	unique	.	the	better	bond	girls	are	more	independent	,	and	have	a	certain	wily	ness	to	them	.	pussy	galore	,	with	her	homoerotic	undertones	and	all	,	is	one	of	the	best	,	and	diana	rigg	,	who	married	bond	at	the	end	of	"	on	her	majesty's	secret	service	"	only	to	be	killed	,	added	some	emotional	depth	.	yeoh	is	notable	since	she's	so	active	,	and	has	great	chemistry	with	brosnan	.	pryce	is	an	awesome	villain	,	being	slimy	and	lovable	at	the	same	time	.	and	brosnan	is	,	once	again	,	the	mack	daddy	.	the	bond	series	is	built	on	cliches	,	mainly	because	they're	so	fun	and	add	to	the	escapism	.	if	you	can	remember	the	dalton	years	,	and	they're	serious	direction	,	you	remember	how	unsuccessful	they	were	,	both	financially	and	aesthetically	.	the	series	would	falter	if	bogged	down	with	too	much	plot	,	too	many	themes	,	and	too	much	characterization	.	i	don't	really	understand	it	myself	,	yet	i'm	one	of	the	bigger	fans	of	the	series	in	the	northeast	united	states	.	having	seen	all	of	them	more	than	once	(	yes	,	i've	seen	this	twice	already	)	,	you	can	tell	i	adore	them	.	while	it's	not	one	of	the	best	,	like	"	goldfinger	"	or	"	from	russia	with	love	,	"	"	tomorrow	never	dies	"	is	nonetheless	a	truly	awesome	installment	,	even	if	not	being	as	fully	amazing	as	some	of	the	better	ones	.
pos	1998	,	r	,	115	minutes	1	hour	,	55	minutes	starring	:	matt	damon	(	mike	mcdermott	)	;	edward	norton	(	worm	)	;	john	turturro	(	kanish	)	;	john	malkovich	(	teddy	kgb	)	;	written	by	david	levien	,	brian	koppelman	;	produced	by	ted	demme	,	joel	stillerman	;	directed	by	john	dahl	.	seen	september	13	,	1998	at	4	p	.	m	at	rotterdam	square	mall	cinema	6	,	theater	2	,	with	chris	wessell	for	free	using	my	sony	loews	critic's	pass	.	theater	rating	:	1	2	:	good	seats	,	average	sound	,	picture	unstable	"	rounders	"	is	exactly	the	kind	of	movie	parents	don't	want	their	kids	to	see	.	it's	not	that	it's	a	drunken	orgy	of	sex	and	violence	,	but	because	it's	a	film	that	flat	out	says	you	can	make	a	career	out	of	gambling	.	and	to	take	make	things	"	worse	"	it	proves	this	through	its	original	,	fascinating	story	.	there	have	been	countless	crime	films	both	past	and	present	that	evoke	the	"	noir	"	mood	,	that	is	,	the	dark	,	shady	atmosphere	where	the	vices	of	the	world	become	more	fascinating	on	screen	than	they	would	in	real	life	.	this	film	starts	off	in	the	tradiational	noir	style	,	introducing	us	to	the	underworld	of	modern	gambling	where	the	stakes	are	high	and	so	is	the	price	for	losing	.	matt	damon	stars	as	mike	mcdermott	,	a	20	something	law	student	in	present	day	new	york	city	who	tells	us	how	the	game	of	poker	is	really	played	.	damon	narrates	throughout	the	film	,	but	the	entire	opening	scene	is	voiced	over	so	perfectly	to	completely	and	totally	define	the	setting	.	mike's	about	to	go	up	against	teddy	kgb	(	malkovich	)	,	a	russian	gangster	who	looks	like	a	serial	killer	.	but	then	again	,	he	practically	is	one	and	the	film	does	everything	to	convey	that	sense	the	look	in	his	eyes	,	his	slow	movements	,	his	intricate	mannerisms	all	combined	with	the	classic	noir	cinematography	of	isolated	brightness	within	the	darkness	of	the	underworld	(	literally	)	.	damon	in	the	flesh	might	seem	a	little	out	of	place	with	his	expensive	clothes	and	perfectly	groomed	features	,	but	his	narration	is	what	brings	it	all	together	.	he	never	sounds	like	he's	reading	from	a	script	,	nor	that	he's	trying	to	embellish	anything	,	it	just	comes	natural	to	him	.	the	screenwriters	use	the	right	words	and	phrases	to	describe	the	mood	,	from	the	smell	of	the	air	,	to	the	logic	involved	in	reading	the	other	guys'	faces	and	cards	,	and	all	without	sounding	remotely	trite	.	immediately	we	get	the	sense	that	poker	isn't	for	gamblers	,	but	for	near	geniuses	with	nerves	of	steel	.	the	game	is	a	quiet	war	,	with	strategies	just	as	complex	and	the	same	sense	of	honor	among	the	soldiers	.	the	gangsters	mike	plays	against	are	the	same	ones	that	might	kill	someone	for	scratching	their	car	,	but	when	it	comes	to	the	game	of	poker	,	all	respect	is	due	to	the	winner	because	he	is	truly	the	better	man	.	the	film	does	an	excellent	job	in	establishing	its	atmosphere	during	the	first	act	.	it	concentrates	so	much	in	this	aspect	that	the	background	and	the	progression	of	the	story	stumble	a	bit	.	we	learn	only	a	little	about	mike	,	both	past	and	present	.	presently	we	know	he	has	a	girlfriend	named	jo	(	gretchen	mol	)	who	he	constantly	argues	with	over	his	gambling	.	they	go	through	a	few	break	up	make	up	cycles	until	mike's	childhood	pal	and	fellow	rounder	"	worm	"	(	norton	)	is	released	from	prison	.	it's	not	at	all	surprising	worm	owes	thousand	of	dollars	to	the	mob	,	but	what	is	surprising	is	how	the	film	is	able	to	take	such	a	predictable	element	and	execute	it	the	way	it	does	.	technically	,	the	plot	isn't	unlike	many	children's	sitcoms	in	which	the	"	good	"	kid's	"	bad	"	friend	gets	the	good	kid	in	trouble	and	yet	the	good	kid	remains	friends	with	the	bad	kid	.	what	this	film	does	is	use	a	different	medium	to	tell	that	story	.	mike	and	worm	have	been	in	over	their	heads	their	entire	lives	,	but	both	share	a	passion	for	out	thinking	the	other	player	who	is	trying	to	do	the	same	to	them	.	where	as	worm	prefers	to	go	the	sleazy	route	of	cheating	(	hence	his	jail	time	)	,	mike	always	takes	the	cards	he's	dealt	and	works	with	them	.	sometimes	they	pay	off	(	i	.	e	.	his	ability	to	pay	his	way	through	law	school	on	his	gambling	money	)	,	but	other	times	they	don't	(	i	.	e	.	the	fact	he	takes	himself	out	of	the	game	and	works	a	steady	job	after	dropping	30	,	000	on	a	single	hand	)	.	once	things	start	happening	the	film	is	able	to	expand	and	develop	its	plot	into	an	intricate	web	of	detail	and	mood	.	mike	and	worm	bob	and	weave	through	all	kinds	of	games	at	all	kinds	of	places	,	from	socialites'	mansions	,	to	taking	the	tourists	at	atlantic	city	,	to	outwitting	the	gangsters	that	control	it	all	.	everything	they	come	into	contact	with	is	a	big	poker	game	in	that	everything's	a	battle	against	the	cards	destiny	deals	.	one	scene	demonstrates	this	perfectly	in	which	mike	is	told	by	a	judge	(	martin	landou	,	in	a	perfectly	cast	and	performed	role	)	that	destiny	is	everything	and	yet	nothing	at	the	same	time	.	matt's	good	at	gambling	but	he's	also	got	potential	to	be	a	great	lawyer	.	he	could	go	professional	as	either	,	but	with	one	he	could	lose	everything	or	win	big	,	but	with	the	other	there's	stability	but	not	much	risk	involved	.	can	someone	who's	gambled	his	entire	life	really	cash	in	his	chips	and	leave	?	if	the	film	had	been	just	a	subtle	lesson	in	poker	playing	,	then	the	ending	is	our	test	.	everything	is	told	from	mike's	perspective	,	but	we're	finally	able	to	recognize	some	things	on	our	own	.	this	makes	the	final	,	against	all	odds	showdown	seem	like	just	that	.	it	works	just	like	the	game	it	revolves	around	showing	us	some	of	the	cards	,	but	still	evokes	the	element	of	the	unknown	,	and	the	consequences	thereof	.	what	separates	"	rounders	"	from	most	other	films	about	games	is	the	fact	the	challenge	and	the	skills	are	more	important	than	winning	in	the	end	.	hr	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	200	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.
pos	directed	by	jim	abrahams	,	david	zucker	,	and	jerry	zucker	running	time	:	88	minutes	originally	released	:	1980	airplane	!	is	considered	among	many	to	be	the	epitome	of	satire	film	making	.	after	all	,	it's	brought	to	us	by	one	of	the	best	known	satire	writing	directing	teams	.	even	if	most	people	don't	recognize	the	names	behind	the	films	,	they	are	bound	to	recognize	the	titles	:	airplane	!	,	top	secret	,	the	naked	gun	,	and	hot	shots	to	name	a	few	.	but	although	the	zucker	abrahams	zucker	team	was	first	introduced	with	the	kentucky	fried	movie	in	1977	,	airplane	!	remains	the	true	cornerstone	of	their	work	,	and	their	directorial	debuts	.	in	the	seventies	,	disaster	films	seemed	to	be	at	an	all	time	high	.	films	like	earthquake	,	the	towering	inferno	,	and	the	poseidon	adventure	were	big	hits	.	there	was	also	a	series	about	the	disasters	that	can	arise	when	traveling	by	plane	a	series	that	spanned	the	entire	decade	.	and	so	,	in	1980	,	we	were	introduced	to	a	new	airplane	disaster	film	.	this	time	the	disaster	had	nothing	to	do	with	a	maniacal	hijacker	or	crashing	into	the	ocean	.	.	.	it	had	to	do	with	bad	fish	.	airplane	!	is	the	story	of	ted	striker	(	robert	hays	)	an	ex	fighter	pilot	who	has	never	gotten	over	the	fact	that	a	decision	he	had	to	make	in	the	midst	of	war	led	to	the	death	of	six	,	er	,	seven	comrades	.	unable	to	stop	living	in	the	past	,	ted's	world	fell	apart	.	he	spent	his	time	moving	from	city	to	city	without	ever	having	a	stable	job	,	and	eventually	,	as	we	begin	this	film	,	is	getting	dumped	by	his	lover	,	flight	attendant	elaine	dickinson	(	julie	hagerty	)	.	in	a	desperate	attempt	not	to	lose	her	,	ted	buys	a	ticket	for	the	same	flight	elaine	is	working	.	unfortunately	,	she	is	unsympathetic	and	even	criticizes	ted	for	following	her	,	which	leaves	him	wallowing	in	self	pity	.	in	the	midst	of	it	all	,	something	happens	.	someone	gets	sick	.	then	another	.	then	another	.	soon	,	the	whole	plane	is	full	of	deathly	ill	chicago	bound	people	.	.	.	and	when	the	pilots	get	sick	(	played	by	peter	graves	,	kareem	abdul	jabbar	,	and	frank	ashmore	)	,	who	will	save	the	day	?	(	gee	,	i	wonder	)	of	course	the	main	draw	here	is	the	non	stop	"	whiz	bang	"	comedy	,	with	a	hefty	dose	of	both	visual	and	spoken	gags	.	although	i	had	seen	this	movie	a	few	times	before	,	i	was	still	laughing	thru	the	entire	thing	.	the	most	fun	character	by	far	is	the	doctor	,	played	by	leslie	nielsen	.	he's	a	dry	,	subtle	,	sterotypically	straight	faced	doctor	that	ends	up	saying	some	of	the	funniest	lines	of	the	film	.	in	a	film	like	this	,	you're	not	really	expecting	an	elaborate	production	,	so	one	can't	complain	about	the	amateurish	quality	.	what	you	can	complain	about	is	the	absolutely	annoying	johnny	,	played	by	stephen	stucker	.	this	character	is	pointless	,	nauseating	,	and	very	unfunny	.	i	don't	know	why	he	was	put	in	there	,	and	i	don't	think	anybody	will	find	a	good	excuse	.	and	when	the	film	nears	an	end	,	it	slows	down	quite	a	bit	,	almost	getting	old	.	you	gotta	give	it	to	a	movie	that	only	runs	88	minutes	and	can	feel	two	hours	long	.	aside	from	that	,	airplane	!	is	really	a	top	notch	spoof	that	will	likely	forever	be	known	as	a	spoof	classic	.	it	would	be	a	good	choice	to	pop	in	the	vcr	with	a	group	of	friends	,	especially	if	they	haven't	seen	it	.	and	if	they	ask	what	the	plot	is	,	just	tell	'em	"	it's	a	synopsis	of	the	basic	storyline	of	the	film	,	but	that's	not	important	right	now	.	"	if	you've	seen	the	film	,	you'll	understand	;	)
pos	"	psycho	meets	the	exorcist	with	no	holds	barred	"	.	a	blurb	like	that	sounds	like	desperate	publicity	for	some	low	budget	,	third	rate	rip	off	.	but	no	,	this	tacky	plug	comes	from	the	poster	for	suspiria	,	perhaps	italian	horror	director	dario	argento's	most	consistently	successful	film	.	what	impresses	most	in	re	watching	this	surrealistic	,	supernatural	thriller	is	that	argento's	directorial	flair	and	stylish	visuals	are	matched	by	a	near	fully	coherent	narrative	.	screenplays	have	always	been	his	achilles	heel	;	confusing	subplots	,	gaping	holes	,	totally	illogical	incidents	and	reactions	.	no	question	:	argento	has	always	been	a	better	director	than	a	writer	.	fortunately	,	he	gets	the	plotting	pretty	well	right	with	suspiria	,	taking	his	cue	from	a	book	by	thomas	de	quincey	called	"	suspiria	de	profundis	"	.	the	film's	storyline	suffers	from	no	major	lapses	in	logic	,	provided	one	can	accept	the	premise	of	a	ballet	school	being	a	front	for	a	coven	of	witches	.	jessica	harper	plays	an	american	who	travels	to	germany	to	further	her	studies	in	dance	.	arriving	at	the	school	late	at	night	in	driving	rain	,	she	sees	a	girl	leave	and	run	into	the	storm	in	a	clearly	distressed	state	.	what	happens	next	and	i	don't	make	the	comparison	lightly	is	a	murder	sequence	that	for	intensity	,	shock	value	and	sheer	directorial	flair	ranks	alongside	alfred	hitchcock's	infamous	shower	scene	in	psycho	.	it's	quite	possibly	a	homage	to	hitchcock	,	but	with	its	baroque	sets	,	graphic	gore	and	brilliantly	chaotic	musical	accompaniment	by	the	gothic	rock	group	goblin	,	this	stunning	sequence	remains	very	much	argento's	own	.	though	nothing	else	quite	equals	the	intensity	of	suspiria's	opening	15	minutes	,	the	film	continues	to	be	never	anything	less	than	engrossing	as	harper	begins	her	own	investigations	and	slowly	comes	to	realise	this	is	no	ordinary	ballet	school	.	we	meet	an	assortment	of	slightly	sinister	characters	,	most	notably	the	head	ballet	teacher	played	by	alida	valli	in	another	one	of	those	delicious	sour	old	matriarch	from	hell	roles	she	does	so	well	.	several	more	violent	murders	ensue	,	including	a	startling	scene	in	a	deserted	square	where	a	blind	man	is	.	.	.	well	,	i	wouldn't	want	to	spoil	things	now	,	would	i	?	and	the	film's	climax	,	staged	amid	secret	corridors	and	hidden	rooms	,	has	a	gothic	ghoulishness	that's	most	impressive	.	the	english	language	versions	of	most	argento	movies	usually	suffer	trimming	,	and	not	just	for	the	violence	deep	red	and	phenomena	,	for	example	,	have	been	appallingly	hacked	about	.	fortunately	,	the	cuts	to	suspiria	(	about	7	minutes	in	this	version	)	have	not	adversely	affected	the	film	.	the	dubbing	of	the	italian	actors	into	english	is	quite	competently	done	,	too	,	excepting	one	appalling	and	unintentionally	hilarious	effort	with	a	conversation	between	harper	and	a	professor	about	the	history	of	witchcraft	in	the	region	.	and	the	soundtrack	?	it	is	interesting	to	imagine	what	power	the	film	would	have	lost	if	it	had	been	scored	by	someone	else	.	as	it	stands	,	the	use	of	goblin's	music	in	suspiria	is	outstanding	.	apparently	,	argento	played	the	soundtrack	on	location	while	filming	so	the	actors	could	hear	the	music	as	they	acted	out	their	parts	.	a	stereo	video	player	adds	greatly	to	the	viewer's	overall	experience	.	even	better	,	see	suspiria	in	a	cinema	,	where	you'll	get	the	added	bonus	of	widescreen	.	and	the	colours	!	deep	reds	,	eerie	blues	,	a	superb	use	of	shadow	and	contrast	.	the	cinematography	of	luciano	tovoli	,	whose	more	recent	credits	include	reversal	of	fortune	and	single	white	female	,	is	uniformly	superb	.	a	nod	also	must	go	to	production	designer	giuseppe	bassan	for	his	wonderful	baroque	interiors	.	these	kinds	of	settings	are	crucial	to	the	atmosphere	of	argento's	more	surreal	excursions	,	the	other	most	notable	example	being	inferno	(	1980	)	on	which	bassan	also	worked	.	suspiria	is	the	film	that	broke	dario	argento	into	the	major	league	of	european	directors	,	and	it	is	fully	deserving	of	its	cult	status	.	the	gore	is	at	times	a	little	excessive	and	overstated	that's	always	been	one	of	argento's	shortcomings	but	overall	this	is	a	fascinating	,	compelling	example	of	italian	horror	.
pos	love	and	death	on	long	island	(	canada	uk	,	1997	)	1	3	directed	and	written	by	richard	kwietniowski	,	based	on	the	novel	by	gilbert	adair	.	photography	,	oliver	curtis	.	production	design	,	david	mchenry	.	editing	,	susan	shipton	,	music	,	the	insects	,	richard	grassby	lewis	.	cast	:	john	hurt	(	giles	de'ath	)	,	jason	priestley	(	ronnie	bostock	)	,	fiona	loewi	(	audrey	)	,	sheila	hancock	(	housekeeper	mrs	.	barker	)	,	maury	chaikin	(	irving	buckmiller	)	,	gawn	grainger	(	henry	)	,	elizabeth	quinn	(	mrs	.	reed	)	,	linda	busby	(	mrs	.	abbott	)	,	bill	leadbitter	(	eldridge	)	,	ann	reid	(	maureen	)	.	a	lions	gate	release	.	93	minutes	.	pg	13	the	source	novel	by	talented	british	writer	and	film	critic	gilbert	adair	was	a	rather	parodistic	reworking	of	the	thomas	mann	novella	"	death	in	venice	"	told	in	the	first	person	.	writer	director	kwietniowski	(	london	born	in	1957	)	reworked	that	reworking	intelligently	,	sympathetically	,	with	a	strong	sense	of	visuals	,	editing	and	benevolent	irony	.	before	this	,	he	had	made	about	six	gay	themed	short	films	shown	in	several	festivals	.	"	ldli	,	"	his	first	feature	,	at	the	1997	cannes	fesival	,	received	a	nomination	for	a	golden	camera	and	a	special	mention	,	as	did	john	hurt	,	from	the	international	critics	association	.	john	hurt	is	present	in	just	about	every	scene	.	the	thespian	has	a	marvelous	track	record	,	mostly	in	roles	as	different	from	one	another	as	they	are	from	deja	vu	.	among	them	,	in	"	a	man	for	all	seasons	,	"	"	midnight	express	,	"	"	the	elephant	man	"	(	title	role	)	,	"	1984	,	"	"	the	hit	,	"	"	white	mischief	,	"	"	scandal	,	"	"	rob	roy	.	"	he	looks	like	no	one	else	and	can	act	like	nobody's	business	.	now	in	his	late	50s	,	he	has	the	age	of	giles	de'ath	in	"	love	and	death	on	long	island	.	"	british	writer	de'ath	lives	in	contemporary	london	but	not	in	this	century	.	a	widower	(	significantly	,	his	wife	was	older	than	he	,	and	they	had	no	children	)	,	he	inhabits	a	world	of	books	in	a	posh	,	old	fashioned	apartment	where	his	housekeeper	follows	the	man's	clockwork	routines	without	intruding	into	his	reclusive	habits	.	he	gives	no	interviews	,	but	when	he	is	finally	talked	into	an	appearance	on	bbc	radio	,	it	is	hilarious	.	giles	is	befuddled	by	the	questions	,	the	interviewer	by	the	replies	.	de'ath	is	truly	out	of	the	20th	century	in	every	way	.	"	do	you	use	a	word	processor	?	"	"	i	am	a	writer	"	he	snaps	,	"	i	write	words	,	i	do	not	process	them	.	"	not	that	he	has	the	foggiest	about	what	a	processor	is	.	or	even	a	typewriter	.	a	notation	in	the	bbc	ledger	shows	us	just	two	words	about	the	man	:	"	fogey	"	and	"	cult	.	"	this	nagged	me	throughout	the	movie	.	if	giles	has	not	a	clue	about	life	at	large	,	we	don't	have	any	about	the	kind	of	writing	he	does	;	or	why	he	is	a	figure	in	the	literary	establishment	;	or	what	kind	of	cult	surrounds	him	,	and	why	.	nonetheless	,	giles	is	a	hoot	.	the	radio	interviewer	had	pointed	out	to	giles	,	who	had	not	been	to	the	pictures	in	ages	,	that	films	have	been	made	of	the	novels	by	e	.	m	.	forster	.	later	,	locked	out	of	his	apartment	and	caught	in	the	rain	,	giles	notices	such	a	film	on	a	movie	house	marquee	and	goes	in	.	but	unaware	that	there	are	such	innovations	as	multiplexes	,	he	wanders	into	an	american	teen	flick	,	"	hotpants	college	2	.	"	with	comic	slowness	it	dawns	on	him	that	"	this	is	not	forster	.	"	he	stands	up	to	leave	,	but	sees	on	the	screen	a	young	performer	(	jason	priestley	)	and	is	entranced	by	him	.	giles	gets	a	"	coup	de	foudre	,	"	his	first	ever	love	at	first	sight	and	undoubtedly	his	first	love	ever	,	at	any	sight	.	the	heart	is	a	mysterious	thing	.	a	major	fixation	is	born	.	the	besotted	writer	sees	the	picture	again	,	acting	at	the	box	office	like	the	traditonal	,	funny	kid	who	wants	to	buy	condoms	in	a	drugstore	.	tracking	down	the	name	of	the	actor	(	it	is	ronnie	bostock	)	in	comically	awkward	ways	,	he	loads	up	on	teen	magazines	which	he	buys	and	disposes	of	as	though	they	were	pornography	.	he	reads	and	memorizes	all	about	ronnie	,	starts	a	cut	and	paste	"	bostockiana	"	album	.	giles	further	enters	pop	culture	by	renting	(	more	comedy	here	)	all	the	bostock	videos	possible	.	he	purchases	a	video	player	,	after	first	mistaking	microwave	ovens	for	such	machines	,	has	it	delivered	by	a	stupefied	young	man	who	explains	to	giles'	surprise	that	a	tv	set	is	required	to	watch	the	tapes	.	passion	escalates	.	after	more	research	,	howlers	and	howl	making	episodes	,	giles	takes	off	for	the	usa	,	to	the	long	island	village	where	ronnie	and	his	supermodel	girlfriend	audrey	live	by	the	sea	.	giles	,	the	innocent	at	home	,	becomes	the	innocent	abroad	.	but	by	now	,	the	comic	tone	of	the	first	part	acquires	a	lining	of	pathos	,	though	without	losing	various	funny	delights	.	the	second	,	american	(	though	shot	in	canada	)	half	,	has	giles	take	a	room	in	a	motel	where	mostly	couples	meet	furtively	;	be	obsessed	by	his	wanting	to	meet	ronnie	;	resort	to	a	series	of	investigations	and	stalkings	that	involve	everything	,	from	ronnie's	dog	,	his	porsche	ragtop	to	giles'	becoming	a	regular	at	the	greasy	spoonish	establishment	owned	by	irv	.	it	is	called	"	chez	d'irv	,	"	which	somehow	sounds	like	"	chef	d'oeuvre	"	(	french	for	"	masterpiece	"	)	a	most	unlikely	bilingual	pun	,	given	irv's	simple	mindedness	love	is	the	mother	of	inventions	.	the	hitherto	very	low	key	giles	goes	energetically	through	loops	and	hoops	,	contrives	a	supermarket	"	accident	"	to	meet	audrey	,	turns	on	the	charm	,	makes	friends	with	her	while	waiting	for	ronnie	to	return	from	california	.	finally	,	he	meets	him	.	de'ath's	task	is	vastly	aided	by	the	small	community	including	the	young	couple	being	one	of	naive	people	with	little	or	no	culture	.	no	denizen	had	ever	heard	of	de'ath	,	perhaps	even	of	literature	.	but	all	are	hugely	impressed	by	having	an	english	author	in	their	midst	.	dull	,	duller	,	dullest	giles	becomes	an	exotic	creature	.	it	reminds	me	a	bit	of	the	newly	rich	vulgarians	who	mistake	bob	hope	for	an	earl	in	"	fancy	pants	.	"	hurt's	performance	is	probably	his	best	,	along	with	his	quentin	crisp	in	"	the	naked	civil	servant	.	"	in	speech	,	expressivity	,	body	language	,	timing	,	he	is	impeccably	in	character	,	ludicrous	and	absurd	yet	believable	,	quasi	farcical	yet	touching	.	wide	eyed	priestley	,	sporting	elvis	sideburns	that	make	him	look	even	dimmer	,	performs	with	restraint	a	persona	that's	partly	an	un	blatant	send	off	of	his	"	beverly	hills	90210	"	heartthrob	,	partly	that	of	a	young	actor	who	confusedly	feels	that	there	are	things	to	do	higher	than	his	teen	junk	movie	roles	.	the	ground	is	fertile	for	giles	to	lay	on	with	a	trowel	compliments	,	bold	and	bald	statements	about	ronnie's	talents	and	potential	,	the	imaginary	film	script	giles	is	writing	for	him	.	all	this	,	of	course	,	leads	to	implanting	the	idea	that	things	can	go	better	,	not	with	coke	but	with	de'ath	as	a	mentor	.	to	what	extent	giles	believes	what	he	says	remains	an	open	question	.	ronnie's	is	a	supporting	role	to	giles'	and	audrey's	(	well	played	by	a	relative	newcomer	)	is	one	level	below	this	.	the	balance	of	the	cast	are	sub	supporters	to	the	top	trio	,	yet	all	appearances	,	down	to	the	tiniest	,	are	sharply	sketched	out	.	throughout	the	film	,	kwietniowski	also	fleshes	out	ambiances	through	light	,	economical	,	amusing	touches	in	the	peripherals	,	from	tv	watching	to	weather	predictions	,	not	to	mention	telephone	answering	machines	or	faxes	.	november's	attraction	to	may	is	something	common	.	so	is	the	mismatched	attraction	of	persons	widely	separated	by	social	class	,	taste	,	intellect	,	culture	.	examples	abound	in	movies	,	from	somerset	maugham's	novel	"	of	human	bondage	"	(	the	good	version	was	filmed	with	leslie	howard	and	bette	davis	)	to	"	citizen	kane	"	and	beyond	.	in	the	case	of	"	love	and	death	"	all	this	acquires	new	twists	and	an	outcome	that	i	cannot	disclose	.	but	i	can	reveal	that	there	is	no	sex	,	there	are	no	caricatures	.	instead	,	we	get	heartfelt	sentiment	and	much	humor	at	the	expense	of	the	nadirs	of	pop	culture	,	teen	adulation	,	as	well	as	of	stuffy	"	high	art	.	"	no	closure	in	its	fullest	sense	comes	at	the	end	.	certain	things	are	left	in	the	air	,	with	an	upbeat	last	moment	hint	about	giles	.	there	is	audience	manipulation	here	,	since	the	title's	"	death	"	is	a	red	herring	.	the	name	de'ath	(	pronounced	deh	as	in	irish	or	italian	names	)	does	really	exist	,	but	used	without	the	apostrophe	,	it	suggests	to	the	unprepared	public	dire	events	rather	than	a	verbal	joke	.	i'll	grant	you	though	that	it	is	a	good	mnemonic	device	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	the	jekyll	and	hyde	story	told	from	his	maid's	point	of	view	is	,	in	a	word	,	"	dark	"	.	you	wouldn't	expect	something	bright	and	cheery	based	on	robert	louis	stevenson's	novel	,	but	the	film	is	surprisingly	dreary	and	dismal	.	jekyll	hyde	(	john	malkovich	)	is	terminally	depressed	and	desperate	.	mary	reilly	(	julia	roberts	)	is	a	victim	of	monstrous	child	abuse	and	the	anti	woman	sentiment	of	the	times	.	director	stephen	fears'	version	of	the	london	slums	makes	us	marvel	that	anyone	survived	them	.	the	lighting	level	is	exceedingly	low	throughout	the	movie	:	it	almost	appears	to	be	filmed	in	black	and	white	.	the	direction	and	cinematography	are	brilliant	and	liquid	.	scenes	flow	into	the	next	scene	like	honey	oozing	off	a	strawberry	.	(	except	there's	no	red	,	of	course	.	)	the	look	is	so	moody	and	melodramatic	that	you'll	be	shocked	when	you	leave	the	theater	.	i	saw	it	at	a	matinee	and	took	quite	a	while	to	adjust	to	the	sunny	skies	afterward	.	often	the	jekyll	and	hyde	archetypes	are	viewed	as	splitting	a	whole	person	into	components	of	good	and	evil	or	perhaps	cerebral	and	emotional	parts	.	here	the	doctor	is	intellectual	and	perhaps	good	,	but	certainly	powerless	.	his	alter	ego	is	forceful	and	totally	without	conscience	.	two	parts	that	make	up	a	whole	.	neither	are	capable	of	functioning	without	the	other	and	once	separated	,	disaster	is	inevitable	.	the	differences	between	the	two	characters	would	be	more	effective	if	it	were	accomplished	by	demeanor	and	attitude	.	when	we	finally	see	the	transformation	,	the	special	effects	thrust	the	story	into	the	realm	of	science	fiction	,	not	the	psychological	horror	that	the	tale	demands	.	roberts	and	malkovich	are	skillful	in	their	roles	.	both	are	suitably	melancholy	,	fitting	in	with	the	rest	of	the	film	.	the	only	flash	of	life	and	color	comes	from	glenn	close	(	and	her	lips	)	as	the	madam	of	a	whorehouse	where	hyde	lives	,	and	surprisingly	,	jekyll	apparently	frequents	.	life	and	color	maybe	,	but	this	is	not	close's	best	role	.	she	seems	little	more	than	a	cardboard	cutout	character	.	a	beautiful	film	in	its	own	dreary	way	.	you'll	appreciate	the	filmmaking	craft	,	but	don't	expect	to	leave	in	an	upbeat	mood	.	this	appeared	in	the	2	25	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	it	seemed	wholly	appropriate	that	at	a	weekend	screening	of	"	the	horse	whisperer	,	"	the	start	of	the	film	was	delayed	some	twenty	minutes	due	to	"	projection	difficulties	.	"	robert	redford's	film	version	of	nicholas	evans'	best	selling	novel	was	supposed	to	have	been	in	theaters	last	december	,	going	head	to	head	with	"	titanic	,	"	but	is	only	now	making	its	much	anticipated	debut	.	this	(	strategic	?	)	delay	has	allowed	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	to	compete	,	sans	fanfare	,	against	some	smaller	,	unassuming	movies	during	a	relatively	slower	time	at	the	box	office	.	no	matter	.	redford's	film	stands	head	and	shoulders	above	james	cameron's	ocean	going	tragedy	,	especially	in	the	writing	and	acting	departments	.	whatever	the	reasons	for	its	postponement	,	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	supports	the	old	adage	"	better	late	than	never	.	"	redford	has	taken	evans'	book	and	given	it	the	big	screen	treatment	.	while	parts	of	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	are	epic	in	scope	and	vision	,	especially	the	aerial	"	travelogue	"	that	maps	out	this	great	country	of	ours	,	its	real	strength	lies	in	the	subtleties	it	uses	to	paint	the	fragile	alliance	between	man	and	beast	.	when	her	daughter	,	grace	,	is	involved	in	a	terrible	riding	accident	,	hard	driven	fashion	editor	annie	maclean	(	kristin	scott	thomas	)	devotes	herself	to	rehabilitating	both	grace	and	grace's	beloved	horse	,	pilgrim	.	refusing	to	have	the	hideously	disfigured	animal	put	down	,	annie	researches	every	possible	source	of	information	about	equine	cures	before	discovering	an	article	about	a	faith	healing	cowboy	of	sorts	called	tom	booker	(	redford	)	,	who	has	a	way	with	horses	and	,	perhaps	,	with	people	too	.	undeterred	by	tom's	initial	reluctance	to	get	involved	,	annie	drives	grace	and	a	sedated	pilgrim	across	country	to	meet	him	,	and	finally	persuades	tom	to	work	with	the	uncontrollable	animal	.	redford's	film	unfolds	slowly	and	lovingly	,	echoing	the	patience	required	in	healing	both	physical	and	psychological	wounds	.	the	film's	a	little	long	and	,	even	if	you	haven't	read	the	book	,	it's	pretty	obvious	where	it's	heading	but	these	are	minor	complaints	.	redford	and	thomas	are	strong	and	convincing	as	the	couple	drawn	by	a	mutual	affection	for	the	great	outdoors	and	each	other	,	but	it's	scarlett	johansson	as	grace	who	shines	in	a	more	difficult	role	.	dianne	wiest	,	chris	cooper	(	"	lone	star	"	)	,	and	sam	neill	better	than	i've	seen	him	before	round	out	the	respectable	supporting	cast	.	and	the	director's	respect	for	horses	is	clearly	in	evidence	.	one	word	of	warning	,	however	:	while	brilliantly	shot	,	the	accident	scene	,	involving	an	out	of	control	truck	,	is	extremely	disturbing	.	redford's	canvas	is	huge	and	exquisite	.	he	doesn't	hesitate	to	incorporate	vast	,	sprawling	vistas	of	the	american	northwest	:	spectacular	,	snow	capped	mountain	ranges	,	azure	skies	,	and	shimmering	fields	of	wheat	all	are	resplendent	in	cinematographer	robert	richardson's	viewfinder	.	veteran	english	composer	john	barry	was	originally	signed	to	score	the	film	but	left	the	project	which	is	a	pity	,	since	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	is	"	dances	with	wolves	"	by	way	of	"	out	of	africa	"	(	oscar	winners	both	for	barry	)	.	fortunately	,	barry's	replacement	,	thomas	newman	,	contributes	a	fine	score	that	nicely	balances	the	majesty	of	montana	with	the	delicate	,	human	conditions	sonorous	,	string	laden	passages	that	swell	with	pride	playing	counterpoint	to	more	poetic	,	introspective	movements	ripe	with	nuance	.	"	the	horse	whisperer	"	is	that	rare	kind	of	movie	:	it	looks	good	,	it	feels	good	,	and	by	golly	it	does	you	good	.	the	wait	,	it	turns	out	,	was	well	worth	it	.
pos	(	out	of	4	)	scream	2	,	like	its	predecessor	,	is	a	genre	crossing	film	.	it	is	about	50	horror	film	and	50	murder	mystery	.	the	mix	worked	very	well	last	time	and	it	continues	to	entertain	this	time	.	scream	was	also	known	for	its	self	referential	tone	.	many	inside	jokes	were	made	in	reference	to	horror	movies	and	wes	craven	.	again	,	scream	2	follows	suit	with	characters	saying	such	things	as	"	sequels	suck	"	and	"	the	entire	horror	genre	was	destroyed	by	sequels	.	"	scream	2's	story	is	very	similar	to	it's	predecessor's	.	sidney	(	neve	campbell	)	,	having	survived	the	killing	spree	in	scream	,	is	now	in	college	.	gale	weathers	(	courteney	cox	)	has	written	a	book	about	the	murders	and	that	book	is	now	being	released	as	a	feature	film	,	called	stab	(	which	for	all	practical	purposes	is	the	real	world	movie	scream	)	.	at	the	premiere	of	stab	,	two	students	from	sidney's	college	are	stabbed	to	death	,	and	a	new	story	begins	.	the	press	descends	on	sidney	and	her	college	to	get	the	scoop	on	this	sequel	killer	.	they	want	to	know	all	about	the	links	between	stab	,	sidney	,	and	the	recent	murders	.	the	most	complex	self	reference	i	saw	(	this	should	be	an	olympic	event	)	was	the	scene	where	gale	weathers	was	asking	questions	at	a	press	conference	.	the	rest	of	the	press	was	watching	and	videotaping	weathers	.	the	other	survivors	from	scream	were	watching	and	videotaping	the	press	.	the	audience	was	watching	the	whole	,	filmed	scene	.	(	whew	.	)	the	movie	is	packed	with	layers	and	self	references	that	make	it	a	pleasure	to	watch	.	even	better	would	be	to	watch	a	double	feature	of	scream	and	scream	2	.	that's	not	to	say	that	these	references	necessarily	make	scream	2	a	deep	,	or	even	a	good	movie	.	the	just	add	to	the	fun	of	watching	it	.	i	recommend	it	for	other	reasons	as	well	.	what	i	liked	best	about	the	horror	aspect	of	the	movie	is	that	the	monster	is	not	supernatural	.	no	werewolf	or	ghost	or	psycho	with	superhuman	strength	is	responsible	.	it	is	a	person	in	a	mask	and	a	robe	,	his	only	advantage	the	fear	he	strikes	into	his	victims	.	no	extraordinary	leap	of	faith	is	needed	to	believe	in	the	killer	.	the	down	side	is	that	if	you	are	frightened	by	horror	movies	,	you	have	less	grounds	to	say	"	it's	just	a	movie	.	"	the	whodunit	aspect	of	the	movie	is	not	that	great	by	itself	gale	weathers	and	deputy	dewey	(	david	arquette	,	also	from	the	original	)	track	down	a	killer	.	they	are	likeable	,	but	not	outstanding	.	but	in	combination	with	the	horror	aspect	,	the	whodunit	is	a	perfect	counterpoint	.	it	was	exactly	a	year	ago	today	that	i	wrote	the	review	for	scream	.	the	internet	movie	database	says	that	scream	3	is	in	the	works	,	so	i	wonder	if	i'll	be	doing	the	same	thing	on	january	1	,	1999	.	if	craven	and	screenwriter	kevin	williamson	are	able	to	keep	the	quality	high	,	i'll	be	happy	to	mark	my	calendar	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	as	with	his	other	stateside	releases	,	jackie	chan's	latest	chopsocky	vehicle	,	mr	.	nice	guy	,	is	contrived	,	blockheaded	,	and	lacking	in	narrative	logic	.	but	also	like	those	other	films	,	it	is	a	highly	enjoyable	ride	.	once	again	,	chan's	screenwriters	(	here	edward	tang	and	fibe	ma	)	have	taken	the	easy	way	out	and	named	their	star's	character	simply	jackie	,	with	no	last	name	.	this	jackie	is	a	world	class	chef	who	co	hosts	a	popular	cooking	show	on	australian	television	.	of	course	,	jackie	also	happens	to	be	a	talented	martial	artist	,	and	these	skills	come	in	handy	when	he	becomes	involved	in	an	ambitious	reporter's	(	gabrielle	fitzpatrick	)	expose	of	a	drug	dealing	ring	.	other	plot	details	,	involving	a	videotape	and	a	biker	gang	,	are	irrelevant	;	in	fact	,	as	is	the	case	with	most	chan	films	,	the	plot	itself	is	just	about	irrelevant	.	the	sole	purpose	of	mr	.	nice	guy's	existence	are	chan's	comic	fight	scenes	,	and	those	here	do	not	disappoint	.	director	samo	hung	(	who	has	a	cameo	role	)	,	a	longtime	collaborator	of	chan's	,	does	not	waste	any	time	putting	chan	in	action	,	diving	head	on	into	a	wild	chase	fight	shootout	after	a	brief	cooking	show	prologue	.	other	impressive	set	pieces	follow	,	most	notably	a	chase	in	a	mall	,	which	directly	leads	to	some	frenzied	,	if	cliched	(	can	you	say	fruit	cart	?	)	,	business	involving	a	runaway	carriage	;	and	an	extended	late	film	sequence	at	a	construction	site	,	in	which	a	hilarious	pursuit	through	a	maze	of	blue	doors	culminates	in	some	exciting	fights	involving	boards	,	cement	mixers	,	and	a	deadly	buzzsaw	.	none	of	the	action	sequences	in	mr	.	nice	guy	are	as	spectacular	as	supercop's	thrilling	helicopter	train	finale	or	rumble	in	the	bronx's	daring	leap	between	two	buildings	;	nor	is	anything	as	inventive	as	the	ladder	fight	or	air	tunnel	climax	in	first	strike	and	operation	condor	,	respectively	.	but	the	action	delivers	,	even	if	the	energy	peters	out	before	the	film's	end	(	the	finale	,	as	spectacular	as	it	is	,	is	a	letdown	for	fans	of	chan's	athletic	prowess	)	.	filmed	almost	entirely	in	english	(	even	so	,	the	voices	of	some	english	speaking	actors	are	laughably	dubbed	)	,	mr	.	nice	guy	hints	at	jackie	chan's	latest	transition	to	hollywood	productions	(	he	made	ill	fated	attempts	with	1980's	the	big	brawl	and	1985's	the	protector	)	;	next	in	the	pipeline	is	rush	hour	,	a	stateside	production	co	starring	chris	tucker	.	hopefully	that	film	will	be	a	mere	diversion	in	tinseltown	,	and	chan	will	continue	with	exuberant	hong	kong	productions	such	as	mr	.	nice	guy	,	for	his	unique	charm	and	reckless	abandon	are	sure	to	be	diluted	by	american	hands	,	much	like	they	have	been	before	.
pos	"	southpark	:	bigger	,	longer	,	uncut	"	before	it	runs	out	of	steam	toward	the	end	,	southpark	(	which	incidentally	was	cut	to	secure	an	r	rating	)	is	the	funniest	film	of	the	year	.	by	default	;	there	havent	been	many	comedies	,	and	certainly	none	this	unabashedly	obscene	.	and	,	right	from	the	start	,	you	know	youre	in	the	hands	of	a	couple	filmmakers	with	a	keen	sense	of	humor	,	as	kyle	,	stan	,	cartman	and	kenny	head	off	to	"	a	foreign	film	from	canada	"	,	via	an	hilarious	disney	rip	off	show	tune	called	"	mountain	town	"	.	iconoclasm	in	place	;	politics	are	next	.	the	kids	cant	get	into	the	new	terrance	and	phillip	film	,	because	it	is	r	rated	(	for	good	reason	)	and	theyre	underage	.	tip	,	if	you	find	yourself	in	a	similar	predicament	:	bribe	the	local	bum	,	and	no	movie	or	ratings	restriction	is	unbeatable	.	good	thing	they	get	in	,	too	,	as	the	incessantly	profane	five	minutes	we	see	next	are	a	riot	,	full	of	as	many	fart	noises	and	f	words	as	ive	seen	in	that	short	a	time	.	then	comes	the	hook	:	comedy	central	cant	run	"	southpark	"	in	all	its	glory	.	so	,	once	the	boys	leave	their	three	hour	marathon	of	more	bad	language	than	they	know	what	to	do	with	,	bigger	,	longer	,	is	caution	to	the	wind	cursing	.	not	more	than	a	lot	of	other	r	rated	films	from	,	say	,	martin	scorcese	like	most	people	seem	to	be	obsessing	about	mind	you	.	but	,	still	;	the	creativity	with	which	these	small	fries	spout	about	is	,	ah	,	a	might	off	setting	.	which	takes	only	a	few	minutes	to	desensitize	us	to	what	were	hearing	;	i	mean	,	really	,	you	hear	ten	mutterings	of	"	pig	fucker	"	or	"	shit	smeller	"	(	i	may	be	a	little	inaccurate	with	those	examples	,	but	you	get	it	)	,	and	youve	heard	a	lifetime	.	so	,	just	being	crude	wouldnt	be	enough	.	no	,	series	creators	trey	parker	and	matt	stone	are	not	ones	to	rest	on	their	considerable	laurels	,	and	thus	,	this	southpark	feature	goes	a	step	or	two	further	with	a	clever	storyline	:	the	parents	of	our	four	young	anti	heroes	are	shocked	by	their	newfound	vocabulary	.	a	scapegoat	is	needed	,	but	whom	.	canadians	,	of	course	.	war	is	declared	,	terrance	and	phillip	are	taken	hostage	and	their	public	execution	planned	out	,	and	cartman	following	his	humorous	ditty	,	"	kyles	moms	a	bitch	"	,	sung	by	members	of	several	different	nationalities	gets	a	chip	put	in	his	head	that	prevents	further	use	of	foul	language	through	shock	treatment	.	in	the	meantime	,	kenny	suffers	his	usual	death	,	goes	to	hell	,	where	satan	and	sadam	hussein	are	lovers	,	and	satan	is	a	big	softie	and	wants	to	be	able	to	communicate	with	his	partner	instead	of	just	having	sex	all	the	time	.	but	,	nevermind	.	southpark	is	entertaining	,	on	top	of	being	sleazy	,	and	that	is	to	be	commended	.	because	it	didnt	have	to	be	as	good	as	it	is	,	and	who	knew	.	there	are	a	few	scratch	that	,	way	too	many	songs	(	some	funny	,	some	blah	)	,	and	thats	why	i	say	the	film	wears	out	its	welcome	.	before	that	happens	,	though	,	chances	are	you	wont	laugh	more	during	any	other	movie	this	summer	than	you	will	,	here	.	highlights	:	winona	ryders	performance	with	a	ping	pong	ball	;	the	untimely	murder	of	bill	gates	;	that	"	uncle	fucker	"	song	from	asses	of	fire	(	oh	.	.	my	.	.	god	)	;	cartmans	improvisational	use	of	his	neural	implant	,	to	save	the	day	.	and	,	needless	to	say	,	getting	to	see	the	true	face	of	kenny	;	cant	beat	that	.
pos	susan	granger's	review	of	"	the	closet	"	(	miramax	films	)	in	this	hilarious	french	farce	,	a	shy	,	boring	accountant	(	daniel	auteil	)	named	francois	pignon	discovers	he's	going	to	be	fired	from	his	job	at	a	condom	factory	.	lonely	and	distraught	,	he	contemplates	suicide	.	but	then	he	runs	into	belone	(	michel	aumont	)	,	an	elderly	homosexual	neighbor	,	who	suggests	a	"	sex	discrimination	"	lawsuit	to	intimidate	management	.	as	evidence	,	belone	concocts	provocative	photographs	of	pignon	locked	in	a	leather	clad	embrace	with	another	man	and	mails	them	anonymously	to	pignon's	boss	.	when	the	racy	snapshots	start	circulating	around	the	factory	,	not	only	does	pignon	get	his	job	back	but	he	suddenly	finds	himself	the	focus	of	attention	as	an	openly	gay	man	.	his	lusty	supervisor	(	michele	laroque	)	is	so	intrigued	that	she	wonders	if	,	perhaps	,	she	could	change	his	sexual	preferences	.	even	his	ex	wife	(	alexandra	vandernoot	)	and	indifferent	teenage	son	(	stanislas	crevillen	)	drop	their	disdain	.	but	not	everyone	is	enchanted	.	a	mucho	macho	co	worker	felix	(	gerard	depardieu	)	,	a	self	righteous	homophobe	,	is	stunned	and	repulsed	when	he's	forced	by	the	pr	director	(	thierry	lhermite	)	to	grovel	and	court	pignon's	friendship	or	risk	losing	his	own	job	.	writer	director	francis	verber	artfully	milks	the	farcical	comedy	as	he	dissects	the	hypocrisy	of	political	correctness	,	veering	off	track	only	occasionally	into	pedophilia	.	daniel	auteuil	(	"	the	widow	of	saint	pierre	"	)	is	delightful	particularly	with	a	blown	up	condom	perched	on	his	head	,	riding	on	a	float	in	a	gay	pride	parade	and	gerard	depardieu	delivers	one	of	his	most	restrained	,	and	effective	,	performances	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	the	closet	"	is	a	frankly	sexual	,	adult	8	.	it's	so	clever	,	in	fact	,	that	hollywood	is	already	planning	to	re	make	it	in	english	,	like	"	la	cage	aux	folles	.	"
pos	for	those	who	associate	italian	cinema	with	fellini	and	"	high	art	,	"	the	son's	room	is	an	inventive	,	subtle	alternative	.	written	by	,	directed	,	and	starring	nanni	moretti	,	it	takes	us	through	the	slow	,	complicated	path	of	bereavement	.	slow	is	the	best	description	for	the	film	at	first	.	it	takes	its	time	in	establishing	the	habits	of	what	appears	to	be	a	normal	,	happy	family	.	father	and	mother	both	work	but	still	find	the	time	to	support	their	son	and	daughter	through	homework	and	after	school	activities	.	they	laugh	,	spend	free	time	together	,	and	reprimand	the	kids	for	innocent	wrongs	with	a	sigh	and	soft	pat	on	the	shoulder	.	you	get	the	feeling	there	is	open	communication	and	unconditional	love	amongst	the	foursome	.	but	suddenly	,	the	son	is	found	to	be	dead	after	a	diving	accident	.	the	family	dynamics	begin	an	unpredictable	descent	that	gives	the	narrative	strength	when	you	least	expect	it	,	but	can	also	be	trying	on	the	attention	span	.	though	the	film	drags	and	even	repeats	itself	,	this	can	be	somewhat	excused	as	influenced	by	the	process	of	grieving	.	though	nanni	moretti	wore	several	hats	for	this	production	,	it	doesn't	come	across	as	a	vanity	piece	.	one	might	wish	he	hadn't	picked	the	profession	of	analyst	for	the	father	,	giovanni	(	which	he	stars	as	)	,	if	only	because	this	makes	his	character's	reactions	so	predictable	.	what	saves	it	is	a	well	written	script	,	with	spare	dialogue	and	an	eclectic	variety	of	human	interaction	.	the	potency	of	the	film	lies	in	the	recreation	of	the	tiny	details	of	everyday	life	that	alter	due	to	the	death	of	a	close	relative	,	or	that	remind	a	depressed	person	of	loss	.	you	start	to	take	notice	of	the	cracked	dishes	,	ignored	when	familial	bliss	was	in	full	swing	.	you	remember	bonding	during	the	routine	jogs	around	the	block	,	and	not	necessarily	huge	events	like	graduation	.	even	better	are	the	role	reversals	that	take	place	within	the	household	.	while	giovanni	and	paola	(	laura	morante	)	do	check	up	on	their	daughter	irene	(	jasmine	trinca	)	,	there	is	a	sense	of	being	on	autopilot	.	not	only	does	irene	begin	to	take	care	of	her	own	needs	more	,	she'll	make	her	parents	breakfast	in	an	attempt	to	crack	their	new	shells	to	life	around	them	.	these	scenes	provide	interesting	portrayals	of	various	coping	mechanisms	,	frequently	crossing	a	boundary	as	to	how	much	you	can	help	yourself	versus	others	during	drastic	,	unexpected	change	.	respectfully	,	gender	issues	never	enter	the	picture	.	self	propelled	isolation	is	universal	in	terms	of	dealing	,	so	moretti	intelligently	uses	this	tool	to	separate	the	family	.	though	giovanni	does	stop	paolo	from	discussing	andrea	at	a	party	with	friends	,	there	is	never	a	sense	that	he	or	she	is	more	stoic	,	or	more	correct	in	the	search	to	restore	a	sense	of	a	balance	to	their	lives	.	most	films	that	broach	the	topic	of	death	utilize	annoying	melodrama	,	speeches	,	and	conciliatory	issues	to	get	the	waterworks	flowing	.	in	contrast	,	the	son's	room	captures	a	more	realistic	depiction	of	the	effects	of	death	on	a	family	by	graciously	flowing	among	the	five	stages	of	mourning	(	denial	,	depression	,	anger	,	bargaining	,	acceptance	)	through	each	of	its	main	characters	.	it's	not	the	most	engaging	100	minutes	,	but	it	is	certainly	easy	to	relate	to	.
pos	directed	by	richard	lagravenese	.	cast	:	holly	hunter	,	danny	devito	,	queen	latifah	,	martin	donovan	,	elias	koteas	,	suzanne	shepherd	,	eddie	cibrian	,	rachael	leigh	cooke	,	lin	shaye	.	1998	94	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	profanity	,	brief	nudity	,	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	november	11	,	1998	.	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a	"	living	out	loud	,	"	is	the	type	of	motion	picture	we	don't	often	see	:	it	is	a	film	about	mature	,	intelligent	adults	,	instead	of	the	usual	american	film	,	in	which	children	basically	dress	up	in	grown	up	clothing	and	parade	around	acting	like	immature	seven	year	olds	.	judith	(	holly	hunter	)	,	a	fortysomething	living	in	new	york	city	,	has	been	having	a	difficult	time	with	life	lately	.	she	is	extremely	depressed	about	her	recent	divorce	to	her	husband	(	martin	donovan	)	,	who	had	been	cheating	on	her	.	she	cannot	sleep	,	haunted	by	terrible	memories	,	often	imagines	off	the	wall	things	to	try	and	make	the	world	seem	like	a	better	place	,	and	the	only	place	she	can	really	go	to	feel	happy	is	to	hear	one	of	her	favorite	singers	,	liz	bailey	(	queen	latifah	)	,	perform	at	a	local	club	.	judith's	life	does	start	to	brighten	a	little	when	,	one	night	when	she	gets	home	to	her	apartment	late	,	strikes	up	a	conversation	with	the	elevator	operator	,	pat	(	danny	devito	)	,	a	lonely	man	in	his	fifties	whom	has	lost	his	daughter	recently	.	both	of	them	create	a	sort	of	emotional	connection	with	each	other	,	seeking	comfort	with	the	other	person	,	but	while	pat	starts	to	form	a	deep	love	for	her	,	judith	only	wants	to	remain	friends	.	"	living	out	loud	,	"	which	was	written	by	richard	lagravenese	(	"	the	bridges	of	madison	county	"	)	,	who	is	also	making	his	directing	debut	here	,	is	a	wonderful	film	from	beginning	to	end	,	one	that	is	honest	,	genuinely	funny	,	and	poignant	.	the	three	central	characters	,	that	of	judith	,	pat	,	and	liz	,	are	all	written	to	be	free	thinking	,	complex	human	beings	,	and	are	all	likable	,	but	flawed	,	people	who	are	constantly	interesting	,	as	is	the	film	itself	.	one	highly	original	element	of	the	film	is	that	judith	occasionally	imagines	things	occuring	in	her	mind	in	the	way	she	wishes	they	would	happen	.	sometimes	it	results	in	comedy	,	and	sometimes	it	turns	out	to	be	subtle	and	truly	touching	.	one	sequence	that	stands	out	is	when	judith	is	at	a	restaurant	by	herself	,	reading	a	novel	.	an	older	woman	comes	over	to	her	,	mentions	that	that	is	a	great	book	she	is	reading	,	and	then	goes	over	to	join	her	own	friends	.	as	the	woman	sits	down	,	she	looks	over	to	see	judith	by	herself	,	and	motions	for	her	to	come	join	them	.	instantly	,	we	realize	this	was	simply	in	judith's	mind	,	as	we	see	the	same	woman	just	sit	down	at	the	table	and	begin	talking	to	her	friends	.	holly	hunter	and	danny	devito	both	give	the	performances	of	their	careers	here	.	hunter	,	of	course	,	was	brilliant	in	1993's	"	the	piano	,	"	for	which	she	won	an	academy	award	,	but	in	this	film	she	is	even	better	,	i	think	.	she	finds	the	right	note	for	each	scene	and	holds	it	.	and	devito	has	never	had	such	a	humanistic	role	before	,	which	i	was	surprised	about	.	usually	he	is	used	as	the	butt	of	a	joke	,	or	as	a	caricature	,	but	in	this	film	,	has	a	living	and	breathing	,	sympathetic	person	to	play	.	topping	it	all	off	is	latifah	,	also	a	singer	,	who	is	quickly	turning	into	a	respectable	actress	herself	,	and	has	a	juicy	,	natural	supporting	role	as	,	in	some	ways	,	judith's	role	model	.	another	joy	of	the	film	is	that	it	does	not	somehow	form	a	contrived	,	"	happy	"	ending	,	but	,	in	staying	with	its	realistic	tone	,	manages	to	be	upbeat	,	but	truthful	.	the	last	shot	is	an	especially	powerful	image	.	nothing	is	said	,	but	just	the	image	of	someone	walking	down	a	sidewalk	says	it	all	.	the	relationship	that	results	between	judith	and	pat	is	true	to	life	and	sincere	.	as	we	watch	these	two	people	talk	,	and	get	to	know	each	other	,	all	that	we	wish	for	them	both	is	to	be	happy	,	even	if	that	does	not	include	for	them	to	become	romantically	involved	.	and	as	,	"	living	out	loud	,	"	which	is	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	year	,	proves	,	sometimes	a	friendship	is	the	strongest	bond	anyone	could	possibly	ask	for	.
pos	jackie	brown	entered	theaters	with	little	fanfare	and	a	lot	of	expectation	.	even	though	advance	publicity	on	this	one	was	fairly	limited	,	the	audiences	waited	for	the	showings	with	heightened	anticipation	.	this	is	,	after	all	,	the	first	movie	quentin	tarantino	has	directed	since	the	highly	touted	pulp	fiction	.	to	say	he	has	been	inactive	in	between	would	be	to	tell	a	falsehood	,	since	he	has	been	involved	in	such	projects	as	destiny	turns	on	the	radio	,	desperado	,	four	rooms	,	and	from	dusk	'til	dawn	.	he	was	also	called	in	at	the	last	minute	to	help	punch	up	the	screenplay	for	crimson	tide	.	(	i'm	willing	to	wager	the	debate	over	which	silver	surfer	is	the	only	true	silver	surfer	was	penned	by	him	.	)	tarantino	contributed	on	and	off	screen	to	these	films	,	but	never	took	the	director's	helm	.	nearly	four	years	since	gaining	notoriety	on	the	hollywood	scene	and	making	john	travolta	a	star	once	more	,	tarantino	returns	with	a	film	he	can	call	his	own	.	the	film	opens	up	with	an	homage	to	the	graduate	,	with	jackie	brown	(	pam	grier	)	on	one	of	those	airport	people	movers	as	the	credits	are	displayed	in	front	of	her	.	jackie	is	a	flight	attendant	for	air	cabo	,	which	flies	back	and	fourth	between	los	angeles	and	cabo	san	lucas	.	this	makes	jackie	a	convenient	cash	courier	for	gun	dealer	ordell	robbi	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	who	is	currently	keeping	his	money	stashed	in	mexico	.	however	,	while	bringing	fifty	thousand	dollars	back	into	the	u	.	s	.	for	ordell	,	jackie	is	apprehended	by	fbi	agent	mark	dargus	(	michael	bowen	)	and	atf	agent	ray	nicolet	(	michael	keaton	)	,	who	catch	her	not	only	with	the	money	,	but	with	a	bonus	of	a	couple	of	ounces	of	illicit	drugs	.	jackie	didn't	know	they	were	in	the	package	with	the	cash	,	but	that's	of	no	consequence	to	the	authorities	,	who	threaten	jackie	with	a	couple	of	years	hard	time	if	convicted	.	of	course	,	dargus	and	nicolet	are	just	using	the	sentence	to	get	jackie	to	turn	over	the	big	fish	,	ordell	.	ordell	uses	honest	bail	bondsman	max	cherry	(	robert	forster	)	to	get	jackie	out	of	jail	,	but	while	max	is	immediately	attracted	to	her	,	jackie	is	more	concerned	about	her	immediate	safety	,	since	ordell	killed	the	last	one	of	his	operatives	who	got	picked	up	by	the	police	.	sure	enough	,	ordell	shows	up	at	jackie's	apartment	that	evening	and	tries	to	silence	jackie	for	good	,	but	she	"	borrows	"	max's	pistol	and	manages	to	turn	the	tables	on	ordell	.	instead	of	closing	the	irony	circle	and	relocating	a	bullet	from	the	pistol's	chamber	to	ordell's	head	,	jackie	proposes	a	deal	.	since	ordell	wants	to	get	his	money	out	of	mexico	,	jackie	will	get	back	up	to	her	old	tricks	and	be	a	courier	for	him	once	more	,	but	this	time	for	a	more	substantial	fee	:	fifteen	percent	of	ordell's	half	million	dollars	.	with	a	gun	in	his	face	,	how	can	ordell	not	agree	?	by	itself	,	this	premise	might	have	been	interesting	enough	to	carry	the	film	.	however	,	we	are	also	introduced	to	a	number	of	double	crosses	which	make	us	pay	attention	and	think	.	jackie	claims	to	be	bringing	the	money	in	for	ordell	,	but	she's	also	making	a	deal	with	the	feds	as	well	as	with	max	.	the	film	throws	us	off	every	once	in	a	while	by	leading	us	to	believe	the	deal	we	thought	was	authentic	is	actually	a	sham	,	but	it	is	in	no	way	done	to	the	extent	that	we	feel	jerked	around	.	instead	,	it's	actually	a	nice	departure	from	the	predictability	which	is	prevalent	in	so	many	of	today's	movies	.	at	least	this	film	has	a	little	imagination	.	most	of	the	performances	in	jackie	brown	are	above	par	.	pam	grier	,	of	whom	i	had	never	taken	notice	before	,	plays	jackie	with	a	mix	of	confidence	and	vulnerability	which	makes	her	character	believable	.	samuel	l	.	jackson	has	a	kind	of	mesmerizing	quality	about	him	as	he	handles	himself	in	situations	where	you	know	he	is	in	total	control	.	robert	forster	is	thoroughly	likable	because	he	comes	across	as	such	an	honest	guy	,	trying	to	do	his	best	.	.	never	mind	that	he	belongs	to	a	profession	where	sneaking	into	a	guy's	apartment	to	zap	him	with	a	stun	gun	is	simply	a	matter	of	course	.	he's	just	so	down	to	earth	,	the	nature	of	his	job	really	doesn't	occur	to	us	,	even	when	we're	shown	him	bringing	a	handcuffed	woman	to	prison	,	or	when	we	see	the	tools	of	his	trade	.	in	supporting	roles	are	robert	de	niro	as	louis	gara	,	a	recently	paroled	friend	of	ordell's	,	and	bridget	fonda	as	melanie	,	one	of	the	girls	ordell	keeps	around	town	.	unfortunately	,	de	niro	is	basically	wasted	as	his	lines	are	few	and	far	between	,	and	then	they	are	mostly	clipped	sentences	.	in	this	film	,	he's	not	really	de	niro	,	but	stereotypical	de	niro	,	uttering	things	like	,	"	little	bit	,	"	and	"	pretty	much	.	"	fonda	,	on	the	other	hand	,	plays	the	slightly	spaced	out	melanie	with	satisfactory	relish	and	cuteness	,	such	that	even	when	she	is	annoying	louis	,	we	are	taking	her	side	.	as	is	characteristic	of	any	film	in	which	tarantino	has	had	a	hand	,	the	dialog	is	quick	and	snappy	.	it	grabs	our	attention	and	is	actually	interesting	,	and	in	many	respects	,	this	makes	jackie	brown	a	film	which	needs	few	visuals	;	the	lines	are	a	form	of	art	in	and	amongst	themselves	.	don't	count	tarantino	out	when	it	comes	to	using	the	camera	,	however	.	there's	a	scene	where	max	is	unwittingly	watching	a	dry	run	of	a	money	exchange	,	and	he's	not	really	sure	what's	happening	,	but	by	composing	the	scene	just	so	,	his	realization	of	what's	going	on	is	felt	simultaneously	by	the	audience	.	we	look	at	the	screen	and	think	,	"	gee	,	that's	clever	,	"	and	then	think	the	same	thing	about	how	the	film	induced	us	into	that	wonderful	feeling	of	catching	on	.	although	tarantino	isn't	afraid	to	drag	out	a	shot	for	dramatic	effect	,	it	unfortunately	works	to	varying	degrees	in	this	film	.	there	are	shots	where	a	character	is	simply	driving	,	and	we	watch	this	person	and	somehow	get	an	idea	of	what	is	going	on	in	his	or	her	head	.	this	is	a	tribute	to	both	direction	and	acting	.	however	,	there	is	at	least	one	other	scene	where	we	follow	jackie	through	a	mall	,	and	she	is	looking	for	something	;	desperately	looking	for	something	.	we	get	the	idea	of	the	frantic	nature	of	her	search	,	but	we	follow	her	for	so	long	that	we	end	up	not	really	caring	about	what	she's	looking	for	,	but	instead	hoping	she'll	just	stop	.	overall	,	viewing	jackie	brown	is	time	spent	well	.	some	flap	has	already	been	made	about	the	language	used	in	the	film	,	but	it's	really	not	much	worse	than	many	of	the	other	movies	out	there	today	.	in	fact	,	one	might	even	be	able	to	say	that	the	way	in	which	these	"	offensive	"	words	are	employed	almost	cause	them	to	parody	themselves	and	therefore	transcend	their	own	offensiveness	.	go	see	the	film	and	see	what	i	mean	.
pos	a	frequent	error	is	the	categorization	of	a	terrorist	as	a	soldier	or	a	common	criminal	.	a	soldier	commits	acts	of	violence	sanctioned	by	one	nation	state	against	another	.	a	common	criminal	commits	acts	of	violence	for	personal	gain	.	a	terrorist	employs	random	violence	as	a	means	to	a	political	end	.	if	the	target	nation	does	not	affect	the	desired	change	in	policy	,	the	violence	continues	.	it	is	the	fear	resulting	from	the	fact	that	the	terrorist	may	strike	at	anyone	(	even	total	innocents	)	,	anywhere	,	at	anytime	that	gives	the	figure	his	label	.	edward	zwick's	the	siege	explores	the	possibility	of	this	kind	of	violence	taking	place	right	here	in	the	united	states	.	you'd	think	the	opening	bit	was	ripped	right	from	the	headlines	.	arab	terrorists	kill	american	citizens	abroad	,	and	the	u	.	s	.	responds	by	retaliating	against	the	sheik	whom	supposedly	ordered	the	attack	.	however	,	unlike	the	real	life	tomahawk	cruise	missile	strike	against	bin	laden's	camp	and	manufacturing	facility	,	the	film	version	depicts	special	operations	troops	kidnapping	sheik	ahmed	bin	talal	.	in	retaliation	,	the	terrorists	bring	the	fight	to	the	new	world	.	unwittingly	involved	is	fbi	assistant	special	agent	in	charge	anthony	hubbard	(	denzel	washington	)	,	who	works	out	of	the	bureau's	new	york	office	at	one	federal	plaza	.	while	investigating	a	series	of	bombings	in	the	big	apple	,	he	encounters	cia	agent	elise	kraft	(	annette	bening	)	,	also	trying	to	uncover	information	.	generally	,	the	fbi	is	charged	with	problems	inside	the	u	.	s	.	,	while	the	cia	takes	care	of	problems	in	the	international	realm	.	even	spies	from	other	countries	are	off	limits	to	the	cia	as	long	as	they	are	in	our	country	.	hubbard	therefore	finds	it	highly	unusual	that	an	agency	spook	is	nosing	around	what	he	considers	his	territory	,	but	as	the	two	form	a	tentative	professional	relationship	,	hubbard	becomes	more	and	more	aware	of	an	increasingly	complicated	series	of	allegiances	and	possibly	illegal	actions	involving	terrorism	and	the	united	states	government	.	the	original	tagline	for	patriot	games	was	,	"	there	has	never	been	a	terrorist	attack	on	american	soil	.	"	however	true	,	it	was	pulled	before	the	movie's	release	because	it	sounded	too	much	like	a	dare	.	revisiting	the	scenario	of	foreign	terrorists	committing	acts	of	violence	in	the	united	states	,	the	siege	is	almost	an	invitation	in	itself	,	because	it	shows	just	what	kind	of	turmoil	could	be	produced	if	an	effective	terrorist	network	were	to	set	up	operations	here	in	america	.	admittedly	,	the	terror	wrought	upon	new	york	is	a	bit	excessive	(	who's	going	to	believe	that	a	few	bombs	are	going	to	cause	new	yorkers	to	jump	at	the	backfire	of	a	bus	or	to	curtail	their	shopping	by	two	thirds	?	)	,	but	the	basic	premise	is	still	valid	.	i	liked	the	fact	that	this	film	rises	above	the	basic	action	thriller	fare	of	good	guy	g	men	against	bad	guy	terrorists	by	exploring	some	of	the	effects	on	society	and	law	and	order	.	it	provides	a	very	possible	hypothesis	that	violent	activity	on	the	part	of	a	few	arabs	would	escalate	into	a	series	of	hate	crimes	against	the	arab	american	population	,	and	that	in	an	effort	to	find	the	terrorists	,	the	civil	liberties	of	the	minority	may	be	violated	by	the	government	itself	.	in	fact	,	about	halfway	through	the	film	,	when	the	president	authorizes	the	declaration	of	martial	law	within	new	york	city	,	the	liberties	of	all	americans	are	put	at	risk	.	although	it	may	actually	be	a	side	effect	of	a	terrorist	campaign	,	the	demise	of	social	order	in	america	is	a	scary	thought	and	a	goal	which	would	not	be	beneath	many	international	terrorist	groups	.	throughout	,	the	film	maintains	a	conflict	between	hubbard	,	who	wants	to	use	the	fbi	to	pursue	the	terrorists	within	the	letter	of	the	law	,	and	general	devereaux	(	bruce	willis	)	,	who	is	in	command	of	the	army	and	of	the	mind	that	the	greater	good	would	be	better	served	by	suspending	the	law	and	pursuing	the	terrorists	more	forcefully	.	what	results	is	a	fascinating	debate	over	the	appropriateness	and	constitutionality	of	the	declaration	of	martial	law	and	the	invocation	of	the	war	powers	act	,	utilizing	philosophy	and	historical	examples	to	make	points	on	both	sides	.	it	actually	gets	rather	heady	at	times	,	but	it's	a	credit	to	screenwriters	zwick	,	lawrence	wright	,	and	menno	meyjes	that	they	don't	underestimate	the	intelligence	of	the	audience	.	i	don't	know	if	it's	his	tone	or	inflection	or	something	else	,	but	denzel	washington	has	a	way	of	spitting	out	dialog	that	makes	whatever	he	says	sound	great	.	this	,	combined	with	his	innate	acting	ability	and	his	experience	in	playing	the	mid	level	authority	figure	,	makes	his	performance	in	the	siege	convincing	and	enjoyable	.	annette	bening	gives	one	of	the	more	assertive	portrayals	of	a	female	character	i've	seen	recently	,	and	the	chemistry	she	shares	with	washington	is	palpable	.	it's	somewhat	unfortunate	that	her	character's	fortitude	is	broken	at	a	certain	point	,	but	it	allows	us	to	watch	bening	play	a	little	more	range	.	bruce	willis	is	pretty	much	relegated	to	a	tough	guy	role	,	always	standing	straight	,	and	with	a	permanent	scowl	fixed	upon	his	face	.	however	,	the	tension	that	exists	between	devereaux	and	hubbard	is	a	major	drive	behind	the	film's	development	.	notable	is	tony	shalhoub	who	plays	fbi	agent	frank	haddad	,	a	lebanese	immigrant	.	the	role	calls	for	evidencing	both	a	kind	of	filial	pride	for	his	heritage	,	and	contempt	for	those	of	his	own	race	who	might	interfere	with	his	integration	into	the	american	society	.	difficult	to	say	the	least	,	shalhoub	does	it	with	a	naturalness	you	can	almost	reach	out	and	touch	.	perhaps	best	known	for	his	role	as	antonio	the	cab	driver	in	the	nbc	sitcom	"	wings	,	"	shalhoub	gained	notoriety	for	his	dramatic	abilities	in	the	wonderful	film	big	night	.	whereas	denzel	washington	seems	to	be	edward	zwick's	favorite	actor	(	he	directed	washington	in	glory	and	courage	under	fire	)	,	james	horner	seems	to	be	his	favorite	composer	.	i	therefore	found	it	odd	that	zwick	chose	the	prolific	score	writer	graeme	revell	(	seven	films	this	year	already	)	over	horner	for	the	siege	until	i	realized	that	this	film	contained	a	lot	of	arabian	themed	music	,	and	horner's	record	has	shown	more	of	a	propensity	for	scores	either	neutral	in	ethnicity	or	irish	sounding	at	most	.	revell	does	a	good	job	at	providing	appropriate	music	to	punctuate	key	scenes	and	allowing	the	score	to	enhance	the	movie	as	a	whole	.	it's	nowhere	near	as	intrusive	as	in	some	of	the	other	films	we've	been	getting	throughout	the	year	.	missteps	in	the	siege	can	be	found	in	a	couple	of	the	excesses	it	takes	.	for	example	,	it's	pretty	clear	throughout	that	the	film	is	meant	to	be	more	of	thriller	than	an	action	flick	.	unfortunately	,	there's	a	scene	where	the	army	just	cuts	loose	against	some	arab	immigrants	in	a	blatant	display	of	firepower	and	explosions	,	obviously	meant	for	the	sole	purpose	of	being	eye	catching	.	in	the	middle	of	the	city	(	and	against	no	real	opposition	)	,	zwick	even	has	the	army	use	a	cobra	attack	helicopter	to	shoot	rockets	into	a	building	no	farther	than	50	feet	from	friendly	troops	.	verisimilitude	really	goes	out	the	window	at	that	point	.	the	film	also	gets	a	little	preachy	toward	the	end	,	focusing	on	the	ability	of	different	races	to	get	along	.	a	noble	gesture	,	the	film	just	puts	the	message	across	a	bit	too	obviously	.	these	flaws	are	glaring	,	but	they	don't	detract	too	much	from	an	otherwise	good	film	that	makes	you	think	about	issues	you	may	not	have	considered	since	history	class	.
pos	"	it's	not	important	how	many	people	i've	killed	.	what's	important	is	how	i	get	along	with	the	people	that	are	still	alive	,	"	jimmy	"	the	tulip	"	tudeski	(	bruce	willis	)	solemnly	informs	a	very	nervous	nick	"	oz	"	oseransky	(	matthew	perry	)	once	oz	discovers	jimmy's	profession	.	this	line	,	and	the	way	in	which	it	is	delivered	,	are	great	examples	of	how	funny	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	can	be	.	the	problem	is	,	that	while	it	can	be	hilarious	,	the	film	also	has	a	tendancy	to	drag	at	times	.	the	ending	goes	on	for	far	too	long	,	and	the	humor	occasionally	falls	flat	.	however	,	when	the	film	pulls	its	humor	off	,	it's	hysterical	.	oz	is	a	dentist	who	is	so	tired	of	life	with	his	commanding	wife	,	sophie	(	rosanna	arquette	)	,	that	he	spends	his	mornings	smashing	his	head	against	his	steering	wheel	while	driving	to	work	.	his	secretary	,	jill	(	a	hilarious	amanda	peet	)	,	is	constantly	trying	to	convince	him	to	divorce	his	wife	but	oz	knows	that	sophie	will	get	everything	in	the	divorce	settlement	.	to	add	to	his	miseries	,	oz	discovers	that	his	new	neighbor	is	hitman	,	jimmy	"	the	tulip	"	tudeski	.	it	turns	out	that	there	is	a	price	on	jimmy's	head	,	courtesy	of	his	associate	back	in	chicago	,	yanni	gogolack	(	kevin	pollak	)	.	sophie	wants	oz	to	go	back	to	chicago	,	deliver	the	whereabouts	of	jimmy	,	and	collect	a	finder's	fee	.	oz	is	of	course	averse	to	doing	this	,	since	it	will	most	likely	involve	jimmy's	killing	oz	upon	his	return	.	once	he	arrives	in	chicago	,	oz	meets	up	with	another	hitman	named	frankie	figgs	(	michael	clark	duncan	)	,	who	is	apparently	working	for	yanni	.	the	situation	grows	steadily	worse	for	poor	oz	from	there	.	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	is	one	of	those	fun	movies	like	"	mars	attacks	"	and	"	galaxy	quest	"	,	where	you	can	tell	that	the	entire	cast	is	having	a	great	time	making	the	film	.	when	a	cast	acts	in	this	manner	it	usually	carries	over	to	the	audience	,	as	is	the	case	here	.	bruce	willis's	comic	talents	lie	mainly	in	his	deadpan	delivery	of	lines	,	and	he	is	given	ample	oppurtunity	to	display	this	talent	throughout	the	film	.	i	believe	that	matthew	perry's	primary	talent	is	his	wide	range	of	facial	expressions	,	and	again	,	he	is	given	the	chance	to	utilize	this	ability	throughout	the	movie	.	despite	the	considerable	comic	abilities	of	both	these	actors	,	they	are	overshadowed	by	amanda	peet's	(	"	isn't	she	great	"	,	"	simply	irresistable	"	)	hysterical	performance	as	the	secretary	who	wants	desperately	to	become	a	contract	killer	.	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	has	an	amazingly	complex	plot	,	considering	what	a	goofy	little	movie	it	appears	to	be	at	first	glance	.	the	film	is	filled	with	double	crosses	,	backstabbing	,	and	false	identities	.	every	character	involved	wants	some	other	character	dead	,	and	there	are	various	little	subplots	relating	to	these	.	unlike	"	gun	shy	"	from	earlier	this	year	,	the	romantic	elements	to	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	don't	feel	tacked	on	and	useless	.	though	difficult	to	take	seriously	,	they	blend	with	the	rest	of	the	film	quite	well	.	the	cast	members	work	very	well	together	,	particularly	bruce	willis	and	amanda	peet	.	the	two	of	them	have	a	grand	old	time	playing	teacher	and	student	in	a	very	unlikely	profession	.	peet	is	so	overcome	with	hero	worship	for	the	elder	hitman	,	she	is	willing	to	do	anything	(	and	i	mean	anything	)	to	win	his	approval	.	the	only	cast	member	i	found	to	be	rather	out	of	place	here	was	rosanna	arquette	as	the	hideous	wife	of	oz	.	the	problem	is	,	i	can't	imagine	anyone	playing	a	grotesque	character	like	this	.	the	other	major	flaw	with	the	film	is	the	amount	of	time	spent	on	the	ending	.	the	movie	could	have	ended	fifteen	minutes	earlier	than	it	does	with	no	problem	.	one	more	thing	i	must	note	is	that	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	is	definitely	a	guy	movie	.	nearly	every	guy	in	the	theatre	i	attended	was	laughing	uproariously	at	the	movie	,	while	most	of	the	women	present	seemed	rather	baffled	by	the	humor	.	"	the	whole	nine	yards	"	runs	a	little	too	long	at	100	minutes	,	but	it	doesn't	start	to	drag	too	badly	till	the	end	.	i'd	recommend	it	to	fans	of	matthew	perry	and	bruce	willis	.	if	you	dislike	these	actors	,	i'd	suggest	you	stay	far	away	from	this	one	.	i	give	the	movie	three	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	only	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	made	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	losing	a	job	is	not	an	all	too	uncommon	thing	.	reacting	to	such	a	personal	setback	by	taking	a	group	of	small	children	hostage	is	a	bit	more	rare	.	while	we	all	might	feel	the	desire	to	blow	someone's	head	off	with	a	shotgun	when	they	don't	seem	to	grasp	our	point	of	view	,	actually	threatening	them	with	one	is	usually	something	we	avoid	.	this	isn't	the	case	with	sam	baily	john	travolta's	slightly	askew	average	joe	persona	in	mad	city	.	"	i	don't	think	people	listen	to	guys	like	me	,	"	sam	laments	during	an	exclusive	interview	from	behind	the	walls	of	a	museum	.	just	a	few	days	ago	,	sam	was	a	guard	at	this	same	museum	,	but	when	cutbacks	led	to	the	elimination	of	his	security	position	,	sam's	apprehension	resulted	in	a	brash	decision	.	in	an	effort	to	get	his	ex	boss	,	museum	director	mrs	.	banks	(	blythe	danner	)	,	to	"	just	listen	"	,	he	barges	into	the	museum	one	day	equipped	with	a	fully	loaded	shotgun	,	taking	the	uncooperative	banks	and	a	group	of	school	children	hostage	.	sam's	overall	concern	is	valid	enough	if	he	loses	his	job	,	his	paycheck	,	his	benefits	,	etc	.	,	his	wife	and	two	children	won't	be	provided	for	.	he's	not	a	lunatic	or	a	hot	tempered	madman	,	he's	somewhat	like	a	child	panicky	,	compulsive	,	and	running	on	emotion	and	his	naive	intentions	aren't	helped	any	by	the	fact	that	banks	wasn't	overly	compassionate	with	the	let	go	.	overall	,	he's	just	like	you	and	me	except	that	he	has	the	capacity	to	view	the	line	we'd	deem	"	far	enough	"	as	the	starting	mark	of	some	crazy	race	.	meanwhile	,	television	reporter	max	brackett	(	dustin	hoffman	)	is	also	on	the	scene	.	covering	a	"	fluff	"	story	for	the	evening	news	concerning	the	museum	cutbacks	,	max	suddenly	finds	himself	in	the	middle	of	the	biggest	breaking	news	story	he	ever	could've	hoped	for	.	having	been	demoted	from	network	newsman	to	smalltime	affiliate	reporting	,	max	is	anxious	to	turn	this	into	his	,	and	only	his	,	story	.	max	immediately	bonds	with	sam	.	max	even	coaches	sam	thru	hostage	negotiations	and	writes	scripts	for	him	to	use	with	the	police	over	the	phone	.	at	first	,	max's	intentions	don't	stretch	beyond	high	ratings	and	a	good	boost	to	the	ole	pride	factor	,	but	as	he	gets	to	know	sam	more	personally	,	he	begins	to	sympathize	and	even	become	somewhat	of	an	advocate	for	him	.	the	media	,	however	,	is	creating	a	frenzy	that	leaves	the	fickle	public	shifting	gears	as	often	as	a	diesel	truck	moving	downhill	.	the	accidental	shooting	of	ex	co	worker	cliff	(	bill	nunn	)	,	a	black	security	guard	,	becomes	one	of	the	main	factors	in	the	controversy	over	sam's	honest	ambitions	.	also	involved	in	this	film	are	robert	prosky	as	lou	potts	,	head	of	the	news	department	of	the	station	max	falls	directly	under	,	and	alan	alda	as	the	nationally	famed	reporter	kevin	hollander	,	who	uses	his	network	power	to	try	and	outshine	max	.	alda	and	prosky	both	turn	in	fine	performances	that	fit	like	gloves	on	their	acting	abilities	.	then	there	is	mia	kirshner	,	who	plays	the	young	tv	station	intern	laurie	.	she	falls	under	max's	wings	only	to	become	a	student	taught	too	well	in	the	way	of	sensationalistic	reporting	.	kirshner's	credits	are	relatively	small	for	now	,	including	roles	in	films	like	exotica	and	the	forgettable	sequel	to	the	crow	.	still	,	kirshner's	character	transformation	shows	that	she	has	shining	ability	to	play	both	good	girl	and	kinda	bitchy	in	a	reserved	way	roles	.	i	wouldn't	mind	seeing	her	in	some	more	prevalent	parts	,	where	perhaps	her	talent	will	be	able	to	blossom	more	fully	onscreen	.	while	the	viewpoint	of	the	media	as	a	greedy	,	self	righteous	monster	has	indeed	been	tackled	before	,	mad	city	provides	a	solid	two	hours	of	enjoyability	.	hoffman	and	travolta	are	both	excellent	actors	,	and	seeing	them	together	is	a	real	treat	.	they	both	do	a	great	job	at	smoothly	and	naturally	becoming	their	characters	,	and	they	provide	enough	chemistry	for	us	to	genuinely	care	for	both	.	there	is	quite	a	bit	of	humor	in	this	film	,	and	without	it	,	it	could've	fallen	into	a	drab	,	cliched	social	statement	more	likely	to	garner	sleep	from	the	audience	than	applause	.	this	isn't	a	flick	that	will	grip	at	both	your	funny	bone	and	your	heart	,	but	it	will	lightly	touch	both	,	making	for	a	recommendable	movie	.	if	for	nothing	more	than	the	opportunity	to	watch	both	hoffman	and	travolta	at	the	same	time	,	i	urge	you	to	check	this	one	out	.
pos	jay	and	silent	bob	strike	back	(	2001	)	3	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	jason	mewes	,	kevin	smith	,	ben	affleck	,	shannon	elizabeth	,	will	ferrell	,	jason	lee	,	chris	rock	,	ali	larter	,	brian	christopher	o'halloran	,	seann	william	scott	,	george	lucas	,	carrie	fisher	and	mark	hamill	.	written	and	directed	by	kevin	smith	.	rated	r	.	jay	and	silent	bob	strike	back	can	rightfully	be	subtitled	"	kevin	smith's	greatest	hits	"	for	the	film	is	comprised	of	numerous	references	and	characters	from	smith's	earlier	works	including	,	clerks	,	mall	rats	.	chasing	amy	and	dogma	.	so	,	be	advised	:	bone	up	on	that	cinematic	quartet	in	order	to	achieve	the	maximum	enjoyment	from	smith's	latest	outing	.	kevin	smith	must	be	a	very	likable	person	because	several	good	sports	took	a	ton	of	kidding	in	this	feature	,	most	notably	miramax	,	the	studio	whose	subsidiary	,	dimension	films	,	is	jay	and	silent	bob's	distributor	.	others	deserving	accolades	include	ben	affleck	,	matt	damon	,	directors	gus	van	zant	and	wes	craven	and	the	mighty	george	lucas	.	this	is	a	laugh	filled	,	foul	mouthed	road	film	with	jay	(	jason	mewes	)	and	silent	bob	(	smith	)	hitching	to	hollywood	to	sabotage	miramax's	production	of	bluntman	and	chronic	,	comic	book	characters	based	on	the	two	jersey	slackers	.	jay's	convoluted	reasoning	is	that	if	the	film	is	shut	down	,	people	on	the	internet	will	stop	insulting	him	and	bob	,	even	though	it	is	not	him	and	bob	the	people	are	dissing	,	but	rather	their	comic	book	counterparts	.	no	matter	,	the	duo	begin	their	long	trek	hitching	rides	across	the	country	.	but	first	they	get	some	tips	from	a	veteran	hitchhiker	,	played	by	george	carlin	,	who	tells	them	to	follow	"	the	book	"	the	rules	of	the	road	.	of	course	jay's	interpretation	immediately	gets	the	duo	in	trouble	with	a	friendly	nun	(	carrie	fisher	)	who	offers	them	a	ride	.	jay	and	silent	bob	contains	enough	laughs	that	the	movie's	weaker	aspects	which	include	a	lame	subplot	about	a	girl	gang	of	diamond	thieves	as	well	as	a	buffoonish	federal	park	ranger	played	by	will	ferrell	can	be	easily	tolerated	.	really	,	how	can	you	not	laugh	at	a	film	in	which	our	heroes	are	picked	up	by	the	mystery	van	,	and	jay	has	a	pot	induced	hallucination	concerning	velma	and	daphne	.	the	movie's	highlight	,	though	,	is	near	the	finale	.	in	hollywood	,	jay	and	silent	bob	sneak	onto	the	miramax	lot	where	they	crash	the	set	and	are	mistaken	for	extras	of	the	latest	affleck	damon	picture	,	good	will	hunting	2	:	hunting	season	.	here	we	are	privy	to	a	hilarious	conversation	between	affleck	and	damon	in	which	the	two	put	down	each	other's	careers	and	film	choices	.	and	the	laughs	continue	to	grow	.	next	up	is	jason	(	american	pie	)	biggs	and	james	(	dawson's	creek	)	van	der	beek	,	the	actors	chosen	to	portray	bluntman	and	chronic	.	the	pair	mistake	jay	and	silent	bob	for	their	stunt	doubles	.	finally	,	comes	a	star	wars	homage	featuring	one	of	the	stars	of	that	legendary	feature	.	this	bit	will	leave	you	howling	.	smith's	obvious	affection	for	pop	culture	icons	is	evident	in	the	way	he	shoots	these	scenes	and	handles	his	performers	.	he	allows	them	to	play	it	all	tongue	in	cheek	.	their	fun	comes	through	the	screen	to	the	audience	.	it	is	too	bad	that	this	is	jay	and	silent	bob's	swan	song	.	the	characters	have	grown	since	their	supporting	role	debuts	in	clerks	.	but	smith	realizes	that	times	have	changed	,	and	he	doesn't	want	his	creations	to	overstay	their	welcome	.	so	smith	has	provided	them	with	just	the	right	kind	of	exit	,	saving	the	best	for	last	.	goodbye	jay	and	silent	bob	.	at	least	you're	going	out	with	a	blast	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
pos	modern	audiences	are	more	likely	to	be	familiar	with	les	misirables	from	the	pop	broadway	musical	rather	than	victor	hugo's	original	tome	.	adapted	several	times	for	the	cinema	,	this	latest	effort	does	a	superb	job	of	translating	the	characters	,	story	,	and	heart	of	the	novel	to	the	screen	.	liam	neeson	stars	as	jean	valjean	.	as	a	young	man	,	valjean	stole	some	bread	to	satisfy	his	hunger	.	.	.	and	he	was	sentenced	to	19	years	of	hard	labor	for	his	crimes	.	prison	hardened	him	,	and	on	his	release	he	seems	doomed	to	a	life	of	crime	and	squalor	.	however	,	an	unexpected	act	of	compassion	changes	his	outlook	on	life	,	and	he	vows	to	become	a	better	man	.	however	,	he	runs	up	against	one	man	who	doesn't	believe	in	reform	.	inspector	javert	(	geoffrey	rush	)	is	an	obsessive	law	abider	.	he	has	no	tolerance	for	anyone	who	breaks	the	rules	,	even	with	benign	intentions	.	he	once	served	as	a	guard	at	the	labor	camp	where	valjean	served	,	and	after	valjean	breaks	his	parole	,	javert	devotes	himself	to	bringing	him	to	justice	.	two	women	also	get	caught	up	in	the	struggle	.	fantine	(	uma	thurman	)	is	an	unwed	mother	suffocating	in	an	unforgiving	society	.	her	daughter	,	cosette	(	mimi	newman	,	and	later	,	claire	danes	)	,	is	her	life	,	yet	she	cannot	afford	to	raise	her	.	instead	,	cosette	is	sent	to	live	with	a	cruel	foster	family	which	extorts	money	from	fantine	,	and	forces	cosette	into	a	life	little	better	than	a	slave	.	director	bille	august	manages	to	create	a	faithful	adaptation	of	victor	hugo's	novel	,	which	,	though	omitting	some	of	the	political	undertones	,	remains	true	to	the	overall	story	and	tone	of	the	book	.	hopefully	you	won't	,	as	some	clueless	members	of	the	audience	did	,	wonder	where	all	the	songs	went	.	the	movie	manages	to	be	completely	engrossing	without	the	andrew	lloyd	webber	flourishes	.	the	experience	is	bolstered	by	strong	performances	throughout	,	though	neeson	and	rush	deservedly	take	center	stage	with	their	core	roles	.	neeson	in	particular	deserves	kudos	for	his	portrayal	of	a	man	trying	to	do	good	,	but	continually	haunted	by	his	past	.	the	supporting	cast	is	also	extraordinary	.	the	only	actor	who	dims	in	comparison	is	hans	matheson	,	playing	the	revolutionary	,	marius	.	the	film	slightly	loses	its	luster	during	his	brief	love	affair	,	but	it	is	transitory	,	and	truly	only	distracting	when	contrasted	with	the	rest	of	the	film	.	the	novel	les	misirables	is	,	by	any	account	,	an	epic	,	both	in	its	scope	and	in	its	length	.	while	it	would	be	nearly	impossible	to	cram	everything	from	its	pages	into	a	two	hour	movie	,	this	latest	attempt	does	an	admirable	job	at	the	translation	.	it	,	too	,	is	an	epic	.	.	.	and	one	worth	seeing	.
pos	review	by	lars	lindahl	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	larsattacks	mail	.	com	"	larsattacks	mail	.	com	a	)	"	gladiator	"	(	2000	)	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	starring	russell	crowe	,	joaquin	phoenix	,	connie	nielsen	,	derek	jacobi	,	richard	harris	,	oliver	reed	,	and	djimon	hounsou	.	imagine	this	.	you're	given	a	sword	and	a	shield	and	very	basic	,	minimal	training	.	a	man	you	don't	know	tells	you	that	this	will	be	the	last	day	that	you	will	live	.	you	are	thrown	into	an	arena	with	thousands	of	spectators	wanting	to	see	you	die	.	you	frantically	monitor	several	closed	doors	which	,	in	seconds	,	will	release	vicious	enemies	prepared	to	destroy	you	.	you	watch	as	the	innocent	friends	you	made	in	the	last	few	days	are	murdered	in	cold	blood	.	if	you	are	lucky	enough	to	survive	this	chaos	thrown	at	you	,	you	know	you're	going	to	have	to	do	it	all	over	again	tomorrow	.	eventually	know	matter	how	strong	or	skilled	you	are	,	you're	going	to	die	.	this	is	the	life	of	a	gladiator	.	you'll	never	have	to	be	a	gladiator	and	after	seeing	ridley	scott's	powerful	gladiator	,	you'll	be	thankful	for	that	.	with	his	new	film	,	scott	has	returned	cinema	to	the	fascinating	age	of	the	ancient	roman	empire	.	and	like	those	preceding	it	,	spartacus	and	ben	hur	,	gladiator	has	nearly	everything	going	for	it	a	strong	lead	actor	,	a	wonderful	supporting	cast	,	eye	catching	special	effects	,	and	a	great	script	.	since	the	two	aforementioned	films	came	out	before	the	prime	target	viewers	of	gladiator	(	teenagers	to	thirty	year	old	males	)	were	around	,	a	whole	new	genre	may	just	be	reborn	and	revisited	.	from	a	weak	beginning	,	the	film	starts	off	extremely	gloomy	and	inauspicious	.	rome's	best	general	maximus	(	russell	crowe	)	,	who	has	helped	the	empire	conquer	nearly	everywhere	they	have	attempted	,	is	currently	(	in	the	year	180	a	.	d	.	that	is	)	waging	a	war	against	germania	.	scott	shoots	the	gory	battle	in	an	awkward	style	,	similar	to	that	of	saving	private	ryan	but	much	less	effective	.	it's	blurry	,	in	slow	motion	,	and	the	sound	is	muted	.	as	soon	as	this	artistic	method	began	,	it	was	hard	to	tell	what	was	what	and	who	was	who	.	it's	a	good	thing	scott	stops	this	after	the	first	twenty	minutes	or	else	gladiator	would	have	been	torture	to	watch	.	instead	,	the	general	swears	he	will	get	out	after	this	battle	.	he	wants	to	go	back	to	his	family	and	his	crops	,	he	wants	a	quiet	life	.	but	,	unexpectedly	,	he	gets	anything	but	that	.	the	dying	emperor	of	rome	,	marcus	aurelius	(	richard	harris	)	,	decides	to	have	maximus	appointed	new	emperor	of	rome	once	he	dies	.	he	asks	maximus	to	restore	the	republic	by	giving	more	power	to	the	senators	.	all	of	this	does	not	go	well	for	aurelius'	son	,	commodus	(	joaquin	phoenix	)	who	was	expecting	his	father	to	name	him	the	new	emperor	.	jealous	and	upset	,	commodus	kills	his	own	father	,	names	himself	emperor	,	kills	maximus'	wife	and	son	,	and	attempts	to	kill	maximus	.	but	maximus	is	able	to	escape	his	own	death	and	vows	to	kill	commodus	and	fulfill	marcus	aurelius'	wishes	.	now	a	slave	,	the	only	way	he	can	win	his	own	freedom	and	complete	his	goal	is	to	become	a	winning	gladiator	,	who	eventually	are	released	for	their	success	.	a	story	of	betrayal	and	promises	,	gladiator	is	more	than	just	a	mindless	action	flick	.	you	actually	care	about	the	characters	,	sometimes	even	the	evil	villain	commodus	,	who	is	just	a	young	man	as	determined	to	make	rome	one	way	as	maximus	is	determined	to	make	it	the	other	way	.	phoenix	plays	his	character	brilliantly	.	think	of	commodus	as	the	percy	wetmore	(	of	pant	wetter	the	green	mile	)	of	the	roman	empire	a	whiny	,	sleazy	,	"	respect	me	because	my	father	was	a	good	man	"	brat	who	hates	when	he's	not	the	center	of	attention	.	every	scene	we	see	commodus	,	he's	either	crying	or	he	looks	like	he	has	just	been	crying	.	phoenix	has	definitely	matured	as	an	actor	since	to	die	for	,	and	gladiator	shows	he's	more	than	just	river's	little	brother	.	crowe	is	also	excellent	as	the	film's	grisly	faced	hero	.	maximus	is	one	of	the	few	characters	in	recent	cinema	who	actually	has	emotions	.	this	guy	actually	acts	like	a	anyone	in	his	situation	would	act	,	he's	no	invincible	superhero	who	only	blurts	out	one	liners	,	he	(	believe	it	or	not	)	acts	like	a	human	being	!	the	rest	of	the	cast	,	including	richard	harris	,	djimon	hounsou	,	walter	hill	,	derek	jacobi	,	and	connie	nielsen	are	also	first	rate	.	ridley	scott	,	using	outstanding	special	effects	,	has	brilliantly	recreated	the	roman	coliseum	,	the	loudness	of	the	roman	mob	,	and	the	city	of	rome	in	general	.	the	visuals	are	breathtaking	and	voluminous	,	like	a	cleopatra	of	the	year	2000	.	the	costuming	is	also	wonderful	from	the	detailed	shields	and	armor	to	the	exquisite	dress	of	the	upper	class	politicians	.	gladiator	is	another	movie	you	have	to	see	on	the	big	screen	to	get	the	most	out	of	the	experience	.	along	with	u	571	,	action	fans	should	have	plenty	to	see	in	theaters	this	week	and	should	expect	much	more	excitement	to	come	this	summer	of	2000	.
pos	director	:	alan	parker	writers	:	alan	parker	and	oliver	stone	(	based	on	the	musical	by	andrew	lloyd	webber	and	tim	rice	)	starring	:	madonna	,	antonio	banderas	,	jonathan	pryce	,	jimmy	nail	,	andrea	corr	andrew	lloyd	webber's	musicals	,	preferably	his	early	work	with	lyricist	tim	rice	,	present	a	musical	which	is	totally	unlike	any	musical	before	its	time	.	webber	and	rice	do	not	subscribe	to	the	gaity	of	such	musicals	as	"	oklahoma	!	,	"	or	the	slapstickness	of	shows	like	"	a	funny	thing	happened	on	the	way	to	the	forum	.	"	they	instead	tackle	hot	issues	from	our	past	,	and	view	them	differently	,	and	pack	them	together	with	redundant	,	catchy	music	,	as	well	as	thoughtful	lyrics	.	like	"	jesus	christ	superstar	,	"	which	examined	the	rise	and	fall	of	jesus	in	his	last	days	from	a	fame	perspective	(	in	the	cool	tune	"	superstar	,	"	a	dead	judas	comes	back	from	the	dead	to	ask	jesus	why	he	didn't	spread	his	message	wider	)	,	"	evita	"	takes	an	inventive	stance	on	its	topic	,	this	time	being	the	famed	wife	of	argentinian	dictator	,	juan	pern	,	eva	,	who	slept	her	way	to	the	top	and	became	famous	chiefly	because	she	got	attention	,	much	like	the	woman	playing	her	:	madonna	(	although	i	think	madonna	did	rise	to	the	top	for	her	musical	talent	,	among	other	things	)	.	"	evita	"	deals	with	the	rise	and	fall	of	eva	pern	,	a	woman	who	captured	the	heart	of	the	nation	after	marrying	juan	(	jonathan	pryce	)	,	then	died	at	the	young	age	of	33	,	creating	an	international	stir	of	mourning	not	unlike	that	of	princess	di	(	the	two	do	share	a	bit	in	common	,	although	it	wasn't	like	di	slept	to	"	the	top	"	)	.	webber	and	rice	sure	chose	bizarre	topics	for	their	musicals	,	but	they	always	have	a	point	for	doing	it	.	here	,	they	wish	to	expose	her	for	what	she	is	,	but	still	show	that	despite	all	of	her	many	drawbacks	,	her	lying	,	and	covering	up	for	her	fascist	husband	,	but	show	that	she	was	still	a	good	woman	with	fairly	good	intentions	,	and	her	death	was	very	sad	.	it's	also	a	musical	,	with	almost	no	words	not	unsung	.	the	film	plays	like	a	rock	opera	,	much	like	their	"	jesus	christ	superstar	,	"	with	many	giant	musical	sequences	just	like	the	old	musicals	,	even	if	they	do	possess	very	intelligent	lyrics	,	which	create	not	only	an	intellectually	enlightening	experience	,	but	also	a	very	entertaining	one	.	after	all	,	this	is	a	musical	,	and	webber's	musicals	never	undermine	this	.	they	are	a	balance	of	energy	and	intellectual	depth	,	walking	on	a	fine	line	between	the	both	,	and	never	stumbling	on	either	side	.	this	is	why	the	beginning	of	"	evita	"	is	kind	of	a	let	down	.	okay	,	it	is	a	let	down	.	i'm	not	saying	the	opening	moments	are	bad	,	because	they're	pretty	good	.	but	what	comes	after	is	a	lifeless	,	un	entertaining	,	and	totally	unrewarding	sequence	where	she	cons	a	singer	(	jimmy	nail	)	into	taking	eva	to	buenos	aires	after	a	one	night	stand	.	in	the	musical	,	it's	a	fun	,	energetic	sequence	,	culiminating	in	the	show	stopper	,	"	buenos	aires	,	"	which	is	also	lifeless	.	then	a	punch	is	pulled	as	we	see	eva	being	screwed	over	by	the	singer	,	instead	of	her	leaving	him	,	where	she	ends	up	singing	the	sad	tune	,	"	another	suitcase	in	another	hall	,	"	which	was	meant	for	a	later	character	,	screwed	over	by	eva	.	the	portrayal	of	eva	in	the	beginning	is	too	soft	,	seeming	like	parker	and	oliver	stone	,	who	adapted	it	for	the	screen	,	are	afraid	to	present	her	for	what	she	is	,	even	while	it's	being	narrated	by	a	hater	of	eva's	,	the	omnipotent	(	antonio	banderas	)	,	who	presents	her	in	a	negative	light	.	for	a	while	,	it	looks	like	alan	parker	can't	pull	it	off	.	however	,	the	film	pulls	itself	together	in	a	flash	,	and	after	that	song	is	over	,	and	the	giddily	nihilistic	song	"	goodbye	and	thank	you	,	"	where	we	see	eva	go	through	a	long	line	of	lovers	who	help	her	ascend	,	is	magnificent	,	darkly	comical	,	and	just	gleeful	.	from	this	point	on	,	the	film	is	hypnotic	,	satisfying	,	and	satirical	.	no	more	punches	are	thrown	,	and	the	basic	outline	of	the	original	musical	are	in	tact	.	we	see	eva	woo	and	marry	juan	,	get	him	out	of	jail	,	rise	to	stardom	,	falter	a	bit	,	come	back	,	and	then	gradually	die	of	cancer	(	i	think	it	was	because	of	cancer	)	.	more	importantly	,	many	of	the	themes	from	the	musical	carry	on	with	this	,	as	well	as	some	filling	in	the	gaps	reconnassaince	work	.	juan	,	who	is	pretty	underwritten	in	the	musical	,	is	given	some	extra	scenes	,	and	exposed	as	what	he	was	for	eva	:	an	accessory	.	a	muted	scene	where	he	tries	to	visit	her	respective	room	but	is	shunned	allows	us	to	learn	more	about	juan	,	and	understand	his	sadness	more	than	we	did	before	.	from	the	"	goodbye	and	thank	you	"	number	on	,	the	film	shows	eva	trying	to	cover	up	for	the	horrible	government	by	doing	cheap	and	petty	things	which	wooed	a	nation	,	and	saved	a	government	,	even	while	it	left	the	nation's	people	downtrodden	.	but	despite	this	,	the	nation	still	loved	eva	,	and	when	she	slipped	into	death	,	the	world	mourned	her	because	she	was	a	star	.	that's	when	our	narrator	,	ch	,	comes	out	to	show	that	she	wasn't	the	great	woman	she	really	was	,	and	expose	her	fame	.	describing	this	character	is	difficult	,	mainly	because	he	has	no	real	realistic	background	(	he's	said	to	be	based	on	the	revolutionary	ch	guevera	,	but	the	two	probably	could	have	never	met	,	like	they	do	in	the	film	)	,	but	he	serves	as	a	perspective	on	eva	,	but	even	his	perspective	can't	help	us	from	feeling	bad	when	eva	dies	a	pathetic	death	.	alan	parker	,	no	stranger	to	bizarre	musicals	(	he's	done	"	fame	,	"	"	the	committments	,	"	"	bugsy	malone	,	"	and	"	pink	floyd	the	wall	"	the	latter	which	is	absolutely	brilliant	)	,	nails	the	film	,	exposing	everything	for	what	it	is	.	we	cry	for	evita	at	the	end	because	we	feel	we	should	,	by	the	way	it	is	presented	.	his	direction	is	manipulative	for	a	reason	:	to	show	the	mourning	for	what	it	is	.	and	there	is	energy	throughout	,	with	lots	of	bright	colors	,	and	scenes	which	are	cinematically	entertaning	,	as	well	as	enriching	and	deep	,	such	as	the	balcony	scene	where	she	sings	"	don't	cry	for	me	,	argentina	,	"	and	her	death	sequence	,	which	is	poignant	becuase	of	how	sad	it	is	.	madonna's	golden	globe	winning	performance	is	much	like	the	movie	:	starts	kinda	downhill	then	goes	up	quickly	,	remaning	there	for	the	rest	of	the	film	.	at	the	beginning	,	she	looks	like	she's	too	busy	concentrating	on	her	singing	to	act	,	but	she	eventually	gets	it	right	,	though	never	really	getting	the	presence	of	,	say	,	patti	lupone	(	who	did	the	role	in	its	american	premiere	back	in	the	late	70s	)	.	her	death	,	though	,	is	brilliant	.	her	singing	could	be	better	though	.	i	know	she	took	lessons	to	improve	her	range	and	all	,	but	it	still	sounds	like	she's	trying	to	hard	.	she	sounds	way	too	soft	in	several	places	where	she	should	be	comanding	(	like	.	.	.	patti	lupone	i	heard	her	sing	on	an	old	"	evita	"	cd	,	and	you	could	just	feel	her	stage	presence	without	even	seeing	her	)	.	but	it's	generally	very	good	,	although	not	up	to	the	brilliance	the	role	really	requires	.	antonio	banderas	,	who	is	almost	like	a	guilty	pleasure	these	days	(	i'm	one	of	the	few	people	who	thinks	he	rocks	)	,	is	extremely	comanding	in	his	performance	,	presenting	a	lovable	narrator	.	his	singing	is	very	good	,	though	nothing	compared	to	the	original	,	mandy	patinkin	.	he	does	have	a	pretty	good	singing	voice	,	and	a	great	range	.	and	jonathan	pryce	is	pretty	awesome	,	although	very	brief	at	times	,	in	his	role	as	juan	,	seeming	to	put	on	a	poker	face	for	his	melancholy	facade	.	although	it	gets	off	to	a	rocky	start	(	"	rocky	"	's	polite	for	what	it	really	is	)	,	it	soon	picks	up	and	becomes	a	wonderully	poignant	musical	.	like	the	other	musical	released	in	'96	(	woody	allen's	"	everyone	says	i	love	you	"	)	,	it's	a	reminder	that	the	hollywood	musical	may	be	dead	,	but	it	can	come	back	every	now	and	then	for	a	brief	performance	.
pos	can't	hardly	wait	is	supposed	to	bring	back	the	teen	comedy	,	the	days	where	virginity	was	discussed	in	detention	,	where	sean	penn	was	a	skateboard	dude	,	where	angry	vice	principals	tracked	you	down	on	your	sick	days	.	while	the	film	does	some	of	this	,	it's	really	putting	a	modern	twist	on	what	we	have	seen	over	and	over	again	.	the	setting	is	perfect	,	the	girl	who's	party	it	is	(	an	aptly	named	character	along	with	creative	ones	such	as	boy	who	steals	everything	and	ready	to	have	sex	girl	)	holds	a	bash	on	graduation	night	with	her	parents	away	from	home	,	it's	a	must	come	event	and	every	member	of	the	student	body	will	be	there	.	enter	our	hero	,	preston	(	embry	)	he's	been	lovestruck	by	prom	queen	amanda	(	jennifer	love	hewitt	,	who	seems	to	be	content	not	running	from	ben	willis	)	and	decides	to	finally	tell	her	how	he	feels	.	love	adopts	her	quiet	,	popular	girl	role	of	the	recently	dumped	(	by	a	full	of	himself	jock	named	mike	played	by	peter	facinelli	)	well	,	but	she	adds	tones	of	drama	that	aren't	needed	.	accompanying	him	is	denise	(	ambrose	,	who's	great	,	what	else	has	she	been	in	?	)	she's	goth	outcast	without	the	makeup	who	gets	stuck	in	a	bathroom	with	kenny	(	seth	green	)	a	white	homeboy	,	obsessed	with	being	black	.	also	in	for	the	ride	is	william	(	charlie	korsmo	)	school	nerd	who	attempts	to	gain	revenge	against	mike	by	taking	polaroids	of	him	with	one	of	his	friends	in	a	naked	embrace	.	great	cameos	are	also	present	,	with	jerry	o'connell	,	selma	blair	,	melissa	joan	hart	(	who	could	have	been	more	in	the	movie	to	give	it	more	of	a	satire	feel	)	and	jenna	elfman	as	a	stripper	.	yes	,	you	heard	me	correctly	,	jenna	elfman	is	a	stripper	.	i	have	awarded	this	film	the	consistency	(	please	tell	me	i	spelled	that	right	)	award	of	1998	.	it's	a	film	that	you'll	discover	something	new	about	after	every	repeated	viewing	.	however	it	is	a	tad	contrived	,	and	just	a	bit	predictable	.	but	the	film	embraces	it's	spirit	making	this	light	hearted	romantic	comedy	a	sure	one	to	go	see	.
pos	crazy	beautiful	(	2001	)	kirsten	dunst	,	jay	hernandez	,	bruce	davison	,	herman	osorio	,	miguel	castro	,	tommy	de	la	cruz	,	rolando	molina	,	soledad	st	.	hilaire	,	lucinda	jenney	,	taryn	manning	.	written	by	phil	hay	and	matt	manfredi	.	directed	by	john	stockwell	.	95	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	3	.	5	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	"	crazy	beautiful	"	suffers	from	the	damned	if	you	do	,	damned	if	you	don't	syndrome	.	after	a	spate	of	flighty	,	cookie	cutter	teen	films	,	the	romantic	drama	addresses	alcoholism	and	parental	loss	along	with	its	love	story	.	but	rather	than	applaud	the	production	,	early	reviews	have	dismissed	it	as	an	overblown	"	afterschool	special	.	"	even	worse	,	in	the	wake	of	federal	trade	commission	hearings	that	blasted	the	industry	for	marketing	violent	and	sexual	movies	to	young	people	,	the	studio	got	a	case	of	the	heebie	jeebies	and	forced	director	john	stockwell	to	re	shoot	scenes	and	cut	footage	to	"	tone	things	down	.	"	needless	to	say	,	the	filmmaker	was	frustrated	.	"	we	were	trying	to	make	a	cautionary	tale	,	"	he	told	newsweek	,	"	and	we	couldn't	show	the	behavior	we	were	trying	to	caution	people	away	from	.	"	regardless	,	the	film	works	,	thanks	to	exceptional	performances	from	its	lead	players	and	a	script	determined	to	transcend	stereotypes	.	"	crazy	beautiful	"	is	quality	fare	,	good	enough	that	i	half	expected	the	summer	movie	crap	police	to	walk	into	the	press	screening	and	confiscate	the	print	for	"	failure	to	incorporate	explosions	and	poop	jokes	.	"	set	in	pacific	palisades	,	calif	.	,	the	story	follows	the	burgeoning	relationship	between	two	teens	.	every	morning	and	evening	,	carlos	nunez	(	jay	hernandez	)	takes	a	two	hour	bus	ride	in	order	to	attend	pacific	high	school	.	an	honor	student	and	star	athlete	,	carlos	is	responsible	,	modest	and	focused	as	he	works	on	securing	a	place	in	the	naval	academy	.	all	is	well	until	he	meets	nicole	oakley	(	kirsten	dunst	)	,	the	daughter	of	a	rich	congressman	(	bruce	davison	)	.	nicole	is	a	drunk	apparently	hell	bent	on	self	destruction	.	carlos	is	smart	enough	to	recognize	the	danger	in	getting	involved	with	her	,	but	he	is	only	human	and	she	has	the	greatest	smile	.	plus	,	as	her	father	notes	,	she	has	a	real	knack	for	drawing	others	into	her	downward	spiral	.	as	with	"	save	the	last	dance	,	"	"	crazy	beautiful	"	(	god	,	how	i	hate	lower	case	titles	)	takes	situations	that	look	stale	on	paper	and	makes	them	seem	fresh	.	while	noting	the	racial	and	social	differences	between	the	kids	,	the	screenplay	dances	around	most	of	the	clichs	(	there	are	still	several	mtv	moments	,	though	)	.	the	filmmakers	make	a	point	to	give	characters	that	crucial	extra	bit	of	shading	that	turns	them	into	individuals	instead	of	stereotypes	and	the	actors	take	it	from	there	.	cute	as	a	button	dunst	forces	the	viewer	to	share	the	pain	beneath	nicole's	behavior	.	she	is	credible	enough	that	when	dad	urges	carlos	to	get	away	from	her	before	she	drags	him	down	,	i	hoped	the	boy	would	listen	.	as	carlos	,	hernandez	is	a	revelation	.	hunky	without	looking	like	the	product	of	a	hollywood	design	team	,	the	young	man	can	really	act	;	we	will	see	a	lot	of	this	guy	in	the	future	.	aside	from	its	title	,	the	biggest	problem	with	"	crazy	beautiful	"	is	its	ending	,	which	wraps	everything	up	too	fast	and	too	tidy	.	after	carefully	presenting	credible	characters	and	situations	,	the	conclusion	feels	rushed	and	lazy	.	still	,	this	is	the	kind	of	film	that	deserves	accolades	from	critics	instead	of	cheap	shots	.	"	afterschool	special	"	my	ass	"	crazy	beautiful	"	is	the	real	deal	.
pos	towards	the	middle	of	"	the	sweet	hereafter	,	"	a	crowded	school	bus	skids	on	an	icy	road	surface	as	it	rounds	a	bend	,	careens	through	the	steel	guard	rail	,	and	disappears	out	of	sight	.	then	,	in	long	shot	,	we	see	the	vehicle	slowly	sliding	across	what	looks	like	a	snow	covered	field	.	it	pauses	for	a	moment	before	the	"	field	"	cracks	under	the	bus'	weight	and	the	bright	yellow	vehicle	vanishes	in	an	effortless	moment	,	a	single	smooth	second	of	time	.	compare	that	scene	,	if	you	will	,	to	the	last	eighty	minutes	of	"	titanic	,	"	when	the	behemoth	sinks	slowly	and	spectacularly	to	its	watery	demise	,	and	you'll	appreciate	the	futility	of	comparing	greatness	in	films	.	the	scene	in	"	the	sweet	hereafter	"	epitomizes	all	that's	right	with	independent	canadian	director	atom	egoyan's	film	.	it's	not	sensational	.	we	don't	see	the	inside	of	the	bus	with	its	payload	of	screaming	,	terrified	children	being	bloodied	and	battered	about	.	the	bus	doesn't	explode	or	break	into	a	thousand	tiny	pieces	.	it	simply	leaves	the	road	and	silently	slips	beneath	the	surface	of	a	frozen	lake	.	it's	a	horrifying	sequence	made	all	the	more	so	by	calm	and	distance	.	using	a	non	linear	approach	to	his	narrative	,	egoyan	shifts	back	and	forward	in	time	,	connecting	us	with	the	inhabitants	of	the	small	british	columbian	town	who	have	been	severely	affected	by	this	tragedy	.	fourteen	children	died	in	the	accident	,	leaving	their	parents	and	the	town	itself	paralyzed	with	grief	.	the	catalyst	at	the	center	of	the	film	is	ambulance	chaser	mitchell	stephens	(	a	wonderfully	moving	performance	by	ian	holm	)	,	who	comes	to	sam	dent	to	persuade	the	townsfolk	to	engage	in	a	class	action	suit	.	stephens	,	who	"	doesn't	believe	in	accidents	,	"	functions	as	a	concerned	,	involved	observer	,	scribbling	details	in	his	notebook	and	providing	the	parents	with	an	opportunity	to	reach	some	kind	of	closure	in	the	harrowing	aftermath	.	while	stephens'	initial	drive	may	be	financial	(	one	third	of	the	total	settlement	if	he	wins	)	,	his	involvement	provides	him	more	with	an	outlet	to	come	to	grips	with	his	own	loss	.	his	self	destructive	,	drug	addicted	daughter	has	been	in	and	out	of	clinics	,	halfway	houses	and	detox	units	for	years	.	egoyan's	attention	to	detail	and	ability	to	establish	mood	are	so	impeccable	that	even	the	sound	of	a	kettle	boiling	resonates	like	a	plaintive	cry	.	mychael	danna	,	who	composed	the	shimmering	music	for	"	the	ice	storm	,	"	contributes	another	memorable	score	that	shivers	and	tingles	.	equally	impressive	is	paul	sarossy's	cinematography	,	capturing	the	imposing	canadian	mountainsides	and	low	hanging	fogs	as	splendidly	as	his	shadowy	interiors	in	one	scene	a	bright	wall	calendar	serves	to	illuminate	portions	of	a	room	.	"	the	sweet	hereafter	,	"	while	undeniably	grim	,	urges	the	viewer	to	grab	onto	life	with	both	hands	and	not	let	go	.	it's	a	film	of	generous	subtlety	and	emotion	.
pos	until	i	saw	the	night	of	the	hunter	,	it	had	been	a	long	time	since	i	had	gasped	while	watching	a	movie	.	forget	the	others	and	the	deep	end	(	which	veered	toward	strained	dramatics	)	,	the	night	of	the	hunter	is	by	far	the	scariest	movie	i've	seen	so	far	this	year	.	even	though	the	movie	is	nearly	50	years	old	and	there's	a	not	drop	of	blood	to	be	seen	.	luckily	,	the	night	of	the	hunter	,	charles	laughton's	first	and	final	directing	gig	,	has	been	restored	by	the	ucla	film	and	television	archive	and	is	being	re	released	in	october	2001	.	so	,	there's	still	plenty	of	time	to	spill	your	popcorn	all	over	the	place	.	robert	mitchum	stars	as	harry	powell	,	a	reverend	with	a	nasty	habit	of	courting	and	then	killing	widows	for	their	cash	.	his	newest	target	is	young	mother	willa	harper	(	shelley	winters	)	,	whose	murderer	husband	ben	(	peter	graves	)	has	hidden	10	,	000	somewhere	.	powell	finds	out	about	the	stash	and	decides	to	court	mrs	.	harper	after	he's	released	and	ben	is	hanged	.	but	finding	the	money	isn't	easy	for	powell	,	who	must	contend	with	his	stepchildren	(	billy	chapin	and	sally	jane	bruce	)	,	who	know	where	the	money	is	,	but	aren't	telling	.	the	hard	part	about	seeing	a	classic	now	is	the	pop	culture	monster	has	usually	drawn	and	quartered	and	then	flaunted	all	the	memorable	moments	,	thus	ruining	the	spontaneity	and	adventure	when	we	finally	watch	it	for	the	first	time	.	how	many	spoofs	or	salutes	to	the	shower	scene	in	psycho	have	we	seen	in	other	movies	?	what	about	the	brilliant	baby	stroller	sequence	from	battleship	potemkin	?	(	no	,	i'm	not	blaming	brian	de	palma	entirely	for	this	sampling	problem	.	)	yes	,	there	are	some	visual	elements	that	other	directors	seem	to	have	borrowed	from	the	night	of	the	hunter	.	powell's	"	love	"	and	"	hate	"	knuckle	tattoos	obviously	influenced	spike	lee	in	do	the	right	thing	(	remember	radio	raheem	?	)	.	and	powell's	black	suit	,	with	black	tie	and	white	shirt	,	could	have	shaped	quentin	tarantino's	early	visual	style	.	seeing	the	night	of	the	hunter	for	the	first	time	,	i	was	amazed	at	how	much	it	crackled	with	wicked	wit	and	fright	and	how	much	intensity	was	intact	.	you	can	now	sign	me	up	as	president	of	the	robert	mitchum	fan	club	.	he	plays	the	role	with	a	controlled	malice	that	induces	unease	every	time	he	appears	.	he's	like	the	senior	class	president	with	an	evil	streak	.	if	i	ever	need	to	stay	awake	,	i'll	just	picture	him	crooning	,	"	leaning	.	.	.	leaning	.	.	.	.	"	any	actor	who	wants	to	play	a	character	with	a	touch	of	evil	should	study	his	performance	the	way	a	rabbinical	student	studies	the	torah	.	and	credit	must	be	handed	out	to	laughton	and	cinematographer	stanley	cortez	,	who	create	a	series	of	haunting	,	surreal	shadowy	images	over	the	rural	depression	era	backdrop	.	it's	a	testament	to	both	men	that	they're	able	to	invigorate	what	has	become	a	hackneyed	storyline	(	kids	harassed	by	evil	guardians	)	by	sticking	to	the	old	maxim	that	we're	more	scared	by	what	we	don't	see	.	screenwriter	and	legendary	film	critic	james	agee	does	a	beautiful	job	giving	shape	and	substance	to	an	array	of	supporting	characters	:	the	drunk	birdie	(	james	gleason	)	who's	haunted	by	his	wife	,	and	the	spoons	(	evelyn	varden	and	walt	spoon	)	whose	marriage	has	become	a	verbal	vaudeville	act	.	the	only	lapse	is	the	movie's	third	act	,	when	pearl	and	john	run	away	from	home	and	find	a	home	with	the	motherly	,	bible	reading	mrs	.	cooper	(	lillian	gish	)	.	her	showdown	with	powell	is	memorable	a	battle	done	with	dueling	hymns	.	however	,	the	whole	segment	feels	a	little	rushed	and	underdone	,	but	it's	still	a	thrill	seeing	the	queen	of	the	silent	film	era	handling	a	shotgun	.	do	yourself	favor	and	don't	miss	this	if	it	comes	to	a	nearby	theater	.	note	:	a	series	of	revealing	,	but	overlong	,	outtakes	preceded	the	movie	.	the	highlights	included	the	legendary	laughton	(	who	sounds	eerily	like	mr	.	pitt	from	seinfeld	)	running	winters'	lines	with	mitchum	,	and	the	adorable	,	tiny	bruce	having	trouble	descending	a	coal	pile	.	hours	more	of	such	footage	exists	,	as	laughton	liked	to	keep	the	cameras	constantly	rolling	.	screened	as	part	of	the	2001	new	york	film	festival	retrospectives	(	feature	story	coming	soon	)	.
pos	director	:	tom	holland	writers	:	don	mancini	,	john	lafia	,	and	tom	holland	starring	:	catherine	hicks	,	alex	vincent	,	chris	surrandon	,	brad	douriff	,	dinah	manoff	,	tommy	swerdlow	,	jack	colvin	,	neil	guintoli	we	all	know	the	fate	of	"	child's	play	,	"	which	is	the	same	for	almost	any	film	these	days	that	does	marginally	well	financially	:	sequel	hell	.	with	the	newest	installment	in	the	quasi	popular	series	currently	out	(	that	would	be	"	bride	of	chucky	"	and	it	grossed	11	million	in	its	opening	weekend	,	which	i	think	is	the	sign	of	the	apocalypse	number	five	)	,	it's	kinda	fun	to	go	back	and	see	how	it	all	began	rougly	ten	years	ago	with	the	original	,	a	task	which	is	a	retread	for	some	,	and	for	others	(	namely	myself	)	a	chance	to	see	what	all	the	fuss	was	about	.	alas	,	the	original	"	child's	play	"	actually	isn't	that	bad	.	even	seeing	it	in	the	tiny	,	claustrophobic	,	and	mechanically	challenged	theatre	at	my	college	wasn't	the	horribly	dull	experience	i	thought	it	would	be	,	not	just	because	of	the	nicely	rowdy	crowd	(	which	you	almost	need	to	watch	a	film	like	this	and	if	you	don't	believe	me	,	try	and	watch	this	flick	by	yourself	one	day	)	,	but	because	as	a	whole	,	this	isn't	a	bad	movie	.	it's	not	great	,	but	it	does	have	two	things	that	many	horror	films	like	this	one	don't	have	:	1	)	a	rather	nifty	premise	,	and	2	)	a	sense	of	humor	,	both	which	save	this	from	horror	hell	,	which	is	precisely	where	,	say	,	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	has	recently	gone	.	the	premise	of	"	child's	play	"	is	that	a	serial	killer	named	charles	lee	ray	(	brad	douriff	)	is	shot	and	almost	killed	by	a	chicago	hard	boiled	detective	(	chris	surrandon	see	what	happens	to	some	oscar	nominees	?	)	,	and	before	he	dies	,	utters	a	voodoo	chant	that	sends	his	soul	directly	into	a	kid's	doll	called	chucky	,	a	doll	which	has	got	to	be	the	scariest	looking	kid's	doll	i've	ever	seen	.	the	next	day	,	a	bum	who's	stolen	it	sells	it	to	single	mother	karen	barclay	(	catherine	hicks	)	,	who	then	gives	it	to	her	young	son	andy	(	alex	vincent	)	for	his	birthday	.	of	course	chucky	begins	talking	to	the	kid	and	trying	to	find	a	way	to	get	out	of	the	doll	,	but	certain	twists	come	up	.	like	the	guy	he	learned	voodoo	from	reveals	to	him	that	the	only	way	to	break	the	curse	is	to	take	over	the	body	of	the	first	person	he	told	he	was	inside	the	doll	,	that	being	andy	.	and	soon	enough	,	chucky	is	killing	people	either	for	revenge	or	for	what	seems	like	fun	,	and	people	are	discovering	that	chucky	isn't	just	a	kiddie	doll	one	by	one	.	the	idea	is	a	neat	one	,	ripe	for	lots	of	comic	terror	,	and	luckily	it	utlizes	a	lot	of	that	.	it	plays	with	an	idea	stolen	from	a	classic	looney	toons	short	that	when	someone	knows	that	chucky	is	alive	,	they	tell	people	about	it	,	but	when	he	tries	to	prove	themselves	,	chucky	does	nothing	,	and	everyone	thinks	they're	crazy	.	it	plays	with	this	,	as	well	as	the	whole	child	like	thought	that	dolls	and	toys	come	to	life	,	and	even	manages	to	cram	in	a	couple	really	frightening	moments	.	even	if	there's	an	entire	sequence	devoted	to	cliches	(	a	woman	alone	in	a	house	hears	a	noise	,	goes	to	investigate	it	,	and	finds	nothing	,	but	wait	for	the	kicker	a	second	later	!	)	,	there's	also	a	harrowing	car	ride	with	chucky	trying	to	knife	the	detective	from	the	back	seat	,	and	then	trying	to	attack	him	when	the	car	finally	crashes	,	leaving	the	viewer	with	at	least	rather	visceral	exprience	.	the	ending	is	rather	fun	,	as	well	,	albeit	a	tad	too	drawn	out	(	about	four	different	endings	,	maybe	five	)	,	and	the	characters	are	more	intelligent	than	the	average	horror	film	line	up	,	making	them	easier	to	sympathize	with	.	if	there's	one	horrible	thing	about	many	horror	films	,	it's	that	the	protagonists	are	morons	who	you	can't	help	but	shout	obscenities	at	,	and	for	the	most	part	,	"	child's	play	"	steers	away	from	that	.	and	most	of	all	,	the	chucky	character	is	a	good	one	,	not	just	because	he	provides	instant	comic	relief	(	look	!	that	doll's	moving	on	its	own	!	)	,	but	because	he's	a	generally	scary	character	.	if	there's	anything	really	wrong	with	"	child's	play	,	"	it's	that	it's	too	trite	and	has	too	less	self	esteem	.	at	almost	90	minutes	,	"	child's	play	"	features	way	too	less	to	be	a	real	classic	of	horror	.	it	throws	itself	into	a	simple	three	act	set	up	that	renders	it	quick	and	almost	forgettable	if	it	weren't	for	the	fact	that	the	film	deals	with	a	psychotic	doll	.	if	the	film	had	more	confidence	in	what	it	was	presenting	,	it	would	really	push	the	envelope	and	become	even	more	than	just	a	short	bit	of	horror	escapism	,	which	is	precisely	why	this	kind	of	film	is	only	memorable	as	a	cheap	little	horor	film	.	.	.	which	isn't	necessarily	a	bad	thing	.	as	such	,	"	child's	play	"	is	content	to	be	just	the	short	,	typical	horror	film	,	but	saves	itself	via	a	sense	of	humor	and	a	nice	quasi	campy	feel	that	makes	it	much	more	enjoyable	than	the	average	short	,	typical	horror	film	.
pos	starship	troopers	(	1997	)	rated	r	for	graphic	sci	fi	violence	and	gore	,	and	for	some	language	and	nudity	.	out	of	4	stars	:	1	2	(	3	1	2	stars	)	starring	:	casper	van	dien	,	denise	richards	,	dina	meyer	,	jake	busey	,	neil	patrick	harris	,	patrick	muldoon	,	and	michael	ironside	.	ladies	and	gentlemen	,	1997's	independence	day	is	here	!	it's	title	:	starship	troopers	.	and	surprisingly	,	it	is	more	entertaining	than	id4	.	i	realize	that	i	gave	last	year's	sci	fi	hit	a	4	star	rating	,	but	i	was	under	the	spell	of	the	powerful	first	hour	.	after	subsequent	viewings	,	i	feel	that	independence	day	really	wasn't	as	great	as	it	seemed	though	i	still	give	it	a	positive	review	.	starship	troopers	,	on	the	other	hand	,	has	a	mocking	sense	of	humor	,	knowing	perfectly	well	how	ridiculous	it	may	seem	.	as	a	result	,	starship	troopers	is	a	more	exciting	,	energetic	,	and	lively	science	fiction	film	.	in	fact	,	i	probably	could	never	get	tired	of	watching	this	film	.	starship	troopers	is	very	reminiscient	of	star	wars	,	another	kick	ass	space	opera	which	reinvented	the	sci	fi	drama	altogether	.	while	starship	troopers	is	no	star	wars	,	it	comes	quite	close	,	and	the	easiest	assessment	would	be	to	call	this	film	:	"	the	'star	wars'	of	the	90s	.	"	am	i	being	to	generous	to	this	film	?	perhaps	,	but	when	a	science	fiction	film	comes	along	that	can	mix	humor	and	romance	,	effectively	,	into	the	warring	races	.	in	essence	,	this	is	the	science	fiction	equivolence	of	pulp	fiction	.	the	easiest	way	to	write	a	review	of	this	film	would	be	to	compare	it	to	other	science	fiction	films	,	and	i	may	have	to	.	starship	troopers	is	not	quite	an	original	film	persay	,	but	director	paul	verhoeven	gives	the	film	a	"	kick	the	aliens'	asses	"	style	.	id4	had	this	same	style	,	except	it	was	forced	,	most	likely	the	cause	of	will	smith	having	a	major	role	.	this	new	"	star	wars	"	has	a	very	simple	,	basic	plot	:	mankind	vs	.	an	alien	species	.	the	alien	species	in	question	here	is	the	bugs	,	a	seemingly	advanced	civilization	of	arachnid	type	insects	.	however	,	the	underlying	morals	of	starship	troopers	are	fleshed	out	with	deadly	accuracy	.	sometimes	the	morals	are	buried	by	the	bloody	violence	and	intense	action	scenes	,	but	during	quiet	moments	,	we	realize	that	starship	troopers	has	something	to	tell	us	about	our	civilization	.	more	than	likely	,	these	morals	will	be	overpowered	and	quickly	forgotten	by	the	time	the	movie	ends	.	and	they	should	be	.	i	doubt	verhoeven	intended	this	film	to	be	a	thought	provoking	film	.	this	is	an	"	event	"	film	,	but	surprisingly	above	average	.	it	is	extremely	refreshing	to	watch	a	sci	fi	war	film	,	and	actually	root	for	the	human	side	(	something	independence	day	never	achieved	)	.	starship	troopers	begins	with	a	satirical	portrayal	of	those	strange	"	join	the	army	"	ads	.	mixing	a	web	based	interface	,	these	summations	of	events	are	refreshingly	original	.	stating	,	"	would	you	like	to	know	more	?	"	,	these	short	news	bulletins	give	the	film	an	immediate	sense	of	humor	,	and	we	know	we	should	not	take	it	seriously	.	however	,	we	also	witness	the	murder	of	several	troopers	in	battle	,	in	a	gory	,	yet	funny	,	way	.	after	witnessing	the	slaughter	,	the	film	jumps	back	one	year	,	to	setup	what	we	just	saw	.	we	are	introduced	to	johnny	rico	(	casper	van	dien	)	and	carmen	ibanez	(	denise	richards	)	.	rico	flirts	with	carmen	by	sending	her	messages	over	computer	terminals	in	school	classrooms	.	however	,	carmen	isn't	as	interested	in	rico	as	she	is	in	becoming	a	pilot	.	however	,	another	classmate	,	dizzy	flores	(	dina	meyer	)	,	has	her	eye	on	rico	.	unfortunately	,	rico	isn't	interested	in	dizzy	.	this	setup	is	rather	cliched	,	as	is	the	result	of	the	setup	,	but	it	still	is	fun	to	watch	.	carmen	signs	up	to	become	a	starship	trooper	,	and	as	a	result	,	rico	signs	up	.	and	as	a	result	,	dizzy	signs	up	.	everyone	is	assigned	a	certain	position	in	the	academy	:	carmen	gets	the	pilot	position	she	wanted	,	carl	jenkins	(	neil	patrick	harris	)	,	a	psychic	,	gets	a	position	in	the	training	program	,	and	rico	is	left	in	the	lowest	class	of	the	starship	troopers	:	the	mobile	infantry	.	the	main	story	follows	rico	through	his	trials	and	relationships	.	in	reality	,	i	found	myself	watching	a	space	version	of	"	melrose	place	,	"	but	with	better	special	effects	.	an	hour	into	the	film	,	the	war	begins	.	a	sense	of	tension	grew	in	the	audience	i	watched	this	film	with	.	the	first	hour	may	have	been	a	funny	(	sometimes	unintentionally	)	setup	,	but	we	grew	to	care	for	the	flat	characters	,	because	no	matter	how	hard	i	tried	not	to	like	the	characters	,	their	gorgeous	looks	won	me	over	(	call	me	superficial	,	if	you	must	)	.	following	the	training	sessions	,	which	had	many	dramas	in	themselves	(	too	many	to	mention	here	)	,	the	troopers	are	sent	to	war	.	the	bugs	live	on	the	planet	klendathu	,	a	planet	which	consists	of	dirt	and	rock	,	and	pretty	much	nothing	else	.	many	dramas	occur	during	the	war	,	until	finally	the	troopers	realize	that	their	is	something	behind	the	bugs'	attacks	.	a	sort	of	intelligence	which	masterminds	the	defense	.	the	troopers	are	ordered	to	locate	the	"	brain	"	and	capture	it	.	i	hopefully	left	the	plot	as	vague	as	possible	,	because	starship	troopers	is	not	about	plot	.	it's	about	special	effects	and	gory	violence	.	director	verhoeven	,	most	known	for	his	nudie	film	showgirls	and	basic	instinct	,	returns	to	his	sci	fi	days	,	which	gave	us	good	films	like	total	recall	.	verhoeven	likes	to	push	the	envelope	of	the	mpaa	,	but	despite	all	the	violence	,	the	comic	book	feel	gives	the	film	a	sense	of	falsehood	.	starship	troopers	is	extremely	violent	,	with	more	gore	than	this	year's	event	horizon	.	the	r	rating	is	well	deserved	,	and	hopefully	parents	will	not	allow	their	12	year	old	children	to	see	it	.	my	guess	is	that	verhoeven's	target	audience	is	the	18	to	25	male	group	.	the	film	has	a	testosterone	level	off	the	charts	,	with	chiseled	men	and	beautiful	women	.	despite	these	superficial	elements	,	starship	troopers	also	creates	a	world	which	made	star	wars	so	successful	.	while	watching	the	film	,	we	never	second	guess	the	character's	decisions	because	they	seem	perfectly	clear	.	thankfully	,	no	hero	is	punching	aliens	in	the	face	,	which	gives	the	flat	characters	some	depth	for	which	we	can	identify	with	.	the	cast	of	starship	troopers	is	quite	annoying	to	begin	with	,	but	they	soon	grow	on	you	.	casper	van	dien	has	the	chiseled	facial	features	and	tan	skin	which	will	make	most	girls	swoon	.	to	most	guys	,	he	will	come	across	as	artificial	.	fortunately	,	van	dien	is	the	worst	of	the	cast	,	despite	how	hard	he	tries	to	come	off	as	a	real	character	.	dina	meyer	does	a	much	better	job	of	fleshing	out	her	character	.	her	dizzy	is	extremely	likeable	.	denise	richards	also	does	a	good	job	,	and	her	scenes	are	very	well	done	.	jake	busey	,	gary	busey's	son	,	gives	a	wonderfully	funny	performance	,	and	provides	one	of	the	biggest	laughs	of	the	film	.	neil	patrick	harris	(	remember	,	he	was	doogie	howser	)	is	a	little	wooden	,	and	slightly	out	of	place	with	the	rest	of	the	cast	.	however	,	he	does	give	a	good	performance	.	michael	ironside	gives	the	best	performance	of	the	film	as	the	teacher	with	one	arm	.	his	performance	rises	above	the	rest	.	perhaps	it	is	because	his	character	is	the	most	developed	,	but	i	think	it	is	just	ironside's	presence	on	screen	.	unfortunately	,	no	particular	cast	member	gives	a	star	making	performance	,	which	is	too	bad	because	the	material	here	could	have	made	many	of	the	cast	members	stars	.	director	verhoeven	is	the	main	star	of	the	film	.	his	direction	is	fast	and	unrelentless	.	he	never	slows	down	his	pace	,	which	makes	for	a	wild	ride	.	writer	edward	neumeier	adapted	the	screenplay	from	the	book	by	robert	heinlein	.	the	writing	is	usually	very	funny	,	and	sometimes	very	corny	.	the	dialogue	is	smart	but	not	too	smart	.	we	aren't	required	to	know	everything	,	but	some	plot	holes	are	left	unanswered	.	thankfully	we	are	not	intended	to	notice	,	and	we	really	don't	(	except	for	one	which	lingered	in	my	mind	for	quite	a	while	)	.	amazingly	,	with	all	the	wars	and	romance	going	on	,	the	screenplay	manages	to	include	some	surprising	governmental	issues	.	in	fact	,	these	governmental	changes	seem	fairly	plausible	,	and	this	adds	another	layer	to	the	story	.	the	moral	debate	of	the	characters	is	quite	surprising	to	find	in	a	film	of	this	genre	,	but	what	is	even	more	surprising	is	the	amount	of	humor	included	into	all	the	carnage	.	i	haven't	laughed	this	loud	,	even	in	some	comedies	.	oh	,	and	the	special	effects	are	first	rate	.	starship	troopers	is	rated	r	for	graphic	sci	fi	violence	and	gore	,	and	for	some	language	and	nudity	.	believe	me	when	i	say	this	:	don't	take	young	kids	to	see	this	film	.	it	is	extremely	violent	.	in	fact	,	it	is	probably	the	most	violent	film	out	this	year	.	however	,	if	you	are	old	enough	(	over	17	)	to	see	it	,	starship	troopers	is	guaranteed	to	entertain	.	it's	been	a	long	time	since	i	have	cheered	for	the	heros	,	while	also	cheering	for	the	bad	guys	.	and	still	,	it	is	my	dream	to	see	a	sci	fi	film	in	which	the	alien	race	destroys	mankind	,	and	take	over	the	world	.	now	that	would	be	entertaining	!	reviewed	by	respect	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	respect	aros	.	net	"	respect	aros	.	net	a	)	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	a
pos	susan	granger's	review	of	"	bread	and	tulips	"	(	first	look	pictures	)	in	this	delightfully	frothy	italian	romantic	comedy	,	after	accidentally	being	left	behind	by	a	tour	bus	while	on	a	family	vacation	with	her	cranky	husband	and	two	cynical	teenagers	,	rosalba	(	licia	maglietta	)	,	an	unhappy	housewife	from	pescara	,	finds	herself	and	love	in	venice	.	for	the	first	time	in	years	,	rosalba's	on	her	own	when	she's	abandoned	at	a	highway	rest	area	.	although	her	philandering	husband	(	antonio	catania	)	,	a	plumbing	supply	dealer	,	orders	her	to	stay	there	until	she's	picked	up	,	she	impulsively	accepts	a	ride	to	venice	,	a	bohemian	paradise	which	she's	never	visited	.	rosalba	finds	refuge	and	romance	with	fernando	(	bruno	ganz	)	,	a	gruff	icelandic	waiter	who	offers	her	a	spare	room	in	his	modest	apartment	and	prepares	breakfast	for	her	each	morning	.	to	support	herself	,	she	gets	a	job	working	with	a	florist	(	antonio	catania	)	.	film	maker	silvio	soldini	gently	explores	the	blossoming	of	this	bored	,	middle	aged	,	middle	class	woman	with	warmth	and	affection	,	savoring	special	moments	such	as	when	rosalba	starts	playing	the	accordion	again	and	abandons	her	maroon	stretch	pants	,	silver	jacket	and	orange	sneakers	for	a	simple	,	new	red	and	white	dress	with	platform	soled	espadrilles	.	the	superb	actors	slip	into	their	roles	seamlessly	,	particularly	luminous	licia	maglietta	and	low	key	bruno	ganz	,	along	with	marina	massironi	as	her	nosy	massage	therapist	neighbor	and	giuseppe	massironi	as	the	inept	plumber	turned	private	eye	who's	sent	to	retrieve	her	on	orders	from	her	frantic	husband	who's	discovered	that	his	mistress	has	no	interest	in	doing	his	laundry	or	cleaning	the	house	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	bread	and	tulips	"	is	a	beguiling	,	escapist	8	.	as	the	summer	ends	,	it's	a	magical	getaway	for	mature	audiences	.	.
pos	slavery	is	bad	.	after	hundreds	of	years	,	we've	finally	figured	that	one	out	.	this	almost	universal	belief	is	the	both	the	strength	and	weakness	of	director	steven	spielberg's	latest	"	serious	"	film	.	during	the	late	1830s	,	a	portuguese	slave	ship	carries	a	cargo	of	black	men	and	women	kidnapped	from	their	home	on	africa's	west	coast	to	cuba	to	be	sold	into	slavery	.	fifty	three	of	them	are	stuffed	into	the	"	la	amistad	"	(	from	a	spanish	word	for	"	friendship	"	)	by	their	new	spanish	owners	.	freeing	himself	from	his	chains	,	senge	pieh	(	djimon	hounsou	)	,	renamed	cinque	by	his	masters	,	leads	a	bloody	revolt	.	after	killing	most	of	the	crew	,	the	africans	force	the	remaining	sailors	to	return	them	to	their	home	or	so	they	think	.	instead	the	ship	heads	up	the	coast	to	the	united	states	.	the	amistad	is	boarded	by	an	american	naval	ship	and	the	revolutionaries	are	put	on	trial	in	connecticut	for	murder	and	piracy	.	the	legal	question	becomes	are	they	free	men	fighting	justly	for	their	freedom	or	are	they	property	.	if	they	are	property	,	who	do	they	belong	to	?	their	masters	?	the	spanish	government	?	salvage	rights	of	the	officers	who	captured	the	ship	?	the	us	government	?	the	defendants	are	pawns	in	several	games	.	abolitionists	theodore	joadson	(	morgan	freeman	)	and	lewis	tappan	(	stellan	skarsgard	)	want	to	free	them	,	but	tappan	sees	them	primarily	as	a	means	to	further	the	cause	.	their	lawyer	roger	baldwin	(	matthew	mcconaughey	)	views	the	case	as	a	simple	one	of	property	rights	and	a	chance	to	make	his	share	of	legal	fees	.	south	carolina	senator	john	c	.	calhoun	(	arliss	howard	)	pursues	the	case	for	the	political	advancement	of	the	southern	states	.	president	martin	van	buren	(	nigel	hawthorne	)	is	willing	to	force	the	result	towards	his	own	political	ends	.	when	the	verdict	looks	to	free	the	africans	,	van	buren	replaces	the	judge	with	one	more	sympathetic	to	his	wishes	.	even	that	doesn't	work	and	the	new	judge	frees	the	kidnap	victims	.	at	the	urging	of	calhoun	,	the	president	then	appeals	the	case	to	the	supreme	court	,	populated	by	a	majority	of	slave	owners	.	this	little	known	(	try	finding	it	in	any	history	text	book	)	incident	from	america's	past	would	have	gone	down	a	darker	path	were	it	not	for	former	president	john	quincy	adams	(	anthony	hopkins	)	who	is	persuaded	to	argue	the	case	before	the	supreme	court	.	the	slavery	issue	is	easy	pickin's	for	spielberg	.	much	like	his	"	shindler's	list	"	(	which	followed	"	jurassic	park	"	as	this	follows	"	lost	world	"	)	,	the	moral	sides	are	not	difficult	ones	to	choose	.	nazis	and	slave	traders	:	both	treat	groups	of	others	as	less	than	human	.	it's	not	hard	to	see	who	the	bad	guys	are	.	without	that	question	to	ponder	,	the	director's	job	is	more	difficult	.	he	has	to	make	the	story	interesting	.	spielberg	succeeds	for	the	most	part	.	the	visual	aspect	of	the	film	is	beyond	reproach	.	where	the	movie	falls	down	is	a	bit	more	subtle	.	there	are	very	few	_	people	_	in	the	tale	.	in	fact	,	cinque	is	the	only	character	who	is	fleshed	out	.	tappan	and	joadson	are	"	abolitionists	"	:	symbols	but	not	humans	.	van	buren	is	a	weak	politician	but	nothing	else	.	the	rest	of	the	"	slaves	"	barely	exist	other	than	dressing	for	the	set	.	like	many	other	films	about	people	of	color	,	almost	all	the	major	players	are	white	.	the	film's	salvation	lies	in	the	acting	strength	of	everyone	involved	and	the	powerful	presence	of	hounsou	.	the	former	model's	first	major	role	is	a	winner	.	without	speaking	more	than	five	words	of	english	,	he	conveys	more	emotion	than	most	actors	with	a	thousand	lines	of	dialog	.	the	other	stand	out	is	hopkins	who	seems	to	be	making	a	career	out	of	portraying	american	presidents	(	he	also	played	the	title	role	in	"	nixon	"	)	.	the	impassioned	speech	by	the	doddering	old	man	who	phases	in	and	out	of	rationality	is	among	the	best	court	room	drama	ever	on	the	screen	.	there	are	some	other	great	moments	.	especially	impressive	are	the	african's	struggle	to	understand	what	is	going	on	in	the	strange	land	.	their	interpretation	of	the	bible	based	solely	on	the	pictures	and	their	own	experiences	is	poignant	.	as	grand	as	the	epic	is	,	it	would	have	more	impact	had	it	focused	more	on	the	experience	from	the	point	of	view	of	the	africans	.	more	humanity	in	the	fight	for	humanity	would	have	made	it	a	four	star	film	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	a	real	long	time	and	is	just	now	getting	around	to	seeing	some	1998	films	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	2	12	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	rat	race	(	2001	)	3	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	rowan	atkinson	,	lanai	chapman	,	john	cleese	,	whoopi	goldberg	,	cuba	gooding	jr	.	,	seth	green	,	jon	lovitz	,	breckin	meyer	,	kathy	najimy	,	amy	smart	,	dave	thomas	and	vince	vieluf	.	screenplay	by	andy	breckman	.	directed	by	jerry	zucker	.	rated	pg	13	.	if	you	want	some	hearty	laughs	,	then	rat	race	is	the	movie	for	you	.	this	unpretentious	little	comedy	,	which	sneaks	into	theaters	today	with	very	little	hype	,	will	have	you	bouncing	in	your	theater	seat	.	and	while	the	film	fits	neatly	into	the	low	brow	,	slapstick	school	of	comedy	,	one	refreshing	aspect	is	its	lack	of	mean	spiritedness	.	the	plot	follows	a	group	of	people	chosen	at	random	by	an	eccentric	las	vegas	casino	owner	(	john	cleese	)	who	must	race	from	vegas	to	a	bus	station	locker	700	miles	away	in	silver	city	,	n	.	m	.	inside	the	locker	is	a	duffel	bag	containing	2	million	.	the	first	one	to	open	the	locker	,	gets	the	bag	and	the	money	.	what	the	group	of	participants	doesn't	know	is	that	cleese's	donald	sinclair	(	"	i	can	do	anything	i	want	i'm	eccentric	!	"	)	is	staging	the	race	as	a	betting	game	for	a	group	of	high	rollers	at	the	hotel	.	the	participants	include	vera	(	whoopi	goldberg	)	and	merrill	(	lanai	chapman	)	,	a	newly	reunited	mother	and	daughter	;	disgraced	pro	football	referee	owen	templeton	(	cuba	gooding	jr	.	)	;	italian	tourist	mr	.	pollini	(	rowan	atkinson	)	;	randy	pear	(	jon	lovitz	)	and	his	family	;	the	bumbling	con	men	duane	and	blaine	cody	(	seth	green	and	vince	vieluf	)	;	and	cynical	young	lawyer	nick	shaffer	(	breckin	meyer	)	.	various	amusing	encounters	and	mishaps	befall	the	participants	en	route	to	silver	city	.	screenwriter	andy	breckman	adds	a	nice	touch	by	not	having	the	racers	try	to	sabotage	one	another	.	the	most	side	splitting	situations	involve	vera	and	merrill's	encounter	with	the	squirrel	lady	,	a	nice	nutsy	cameo	by	kathy	bates	;	owen's	commandeering	a	charter	bus	full	of	lucille	ball	look	alikes	on	their	way	to	a	lucy	convention	;	the	cody	brothers	misadventures	with	a	hot	air	balloon	,	a	flying	cow	and	a	monster	truck	;	and	the	pear	family's	stopover	at	a	barbie	museum	,	which	turns	out	not	to	be	what	they	think	it	is	.	the	pear	family	situation	is	a	fine	example	of	the	way	breckman's	script	builds	the	laughs	.	without	going	into	detail	,	this	bit	segues	from	the	museum	to	hitler's	touring	car	,	to	eva	braun's	dark	lipstick	,	to	lovitz	burning	his	tongue	,	culminating	at	a	ceremony	honoring	world	war	ii	veterans	.	rat	race's	cast	is	first	rate	.	cleese	is	wonderfully	devilish	and	madcap	;	lovitz	is	,	at	first	,	a	bit	whiny	,	but	his	character	grows	on	you	;	gooding	is	having	a	fine	romp	;	and	dave	thomas	almost	steals	the	show	as	cleese's	deadpan	assistant	,	a	man	"	born	without	a	personality	.	"	the	film	is	directed	by	jerry	zucker	,	who	knows	something	about	comedy	.	along	with	his	brother	,	david	,	and	friend	jim	abrahams	,	he	was	responsible	for	such	hits	as	airplane	!	and	ruthless	people	.	a	throwaway	subplot	,	which	is	good	for	some	laughs	,	features	cleese	and	his	buddies	,	betting	on	a	series	of	outlandish	situations	,	including	one	dealing	with	a	hooker	and	pepto	bismol	.	this	is	a	fun	little	feature	.	the	only	letdown	comes	at	the	finale	,	which	is	too	touchy	feely	and	sweet	,	almost	negating	what	came	before	it	.	rat	race	is	a	summer	sleeper	,	but	it	will	keep	you	awake	,	as	will	the	laughter	of	those	watching	around	you	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
pos	release	date	:	september	25	,	1998	starring	:	robert	de	niro	,	jean	reno	,	jonathan	pryce	,	natascha	mcelhone	,	stellan	skarsgard	,	sean	bean	,	katarina	witt	directed	by	:	john	frankenheimer	distributed	by	:	metro	goldwyn	mayer	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	strong	violence	,	some	language	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	ronin	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	ronin	.	htm	a	there	exists	a	litany	of	differences	between	a	successful	action	movie	and	a	successful	suspense	movie	.	action	movies	are	typically	devoid	of	plot	other	than	a	simple	byline	which	can	string	together	several	explosive	sequences	,	while	suspense	movies	hinge	on	plot	and	subtlety	and	the	ability	to	bring	everything	full	circle	.	for	fans	of	both	genres	,	however	,	realism	is	key	.	action	fans	want	to	know	that	the	weapons	and	methods	their	heroes	are	using	are	authentic	,	and	suspense	fans	want	everything	to	fall	into	an	explainable	framework	by	the	movie's	end	.	on	this	advice	,	director	john	frankenheimer	(	the	island	of	dr	.	moreau	)	strives	for	realism	in	an	interestingly	dynamic	balance	of	suspense	and	action	for	his	latest	thriller	,	ronin	.	the	depth	of	intrigue	in	ronin	is	quite	amazing	,	considering	the	fare	that's	fallen	into	the	same	category	over	the	last	few	years	.	the	script	,	written	by	j	.	d	.	zeik	in	his	big	screen	debut	,	approaches	levels	of	complexity	that	had	people	spinning	away	from	mission	:	impossible	two	years	ago	.	a	certain	number	of	people	will	be	lost	by	this	,	but	afficianados	will	appreciate	it	all	the	more	and	return	multiple	times	.	frankenheimer	masters	the	script	with	poise	,	and	tells	us	a	dark	but	stoically	realistic	tale	of	a	group	of	post	cold	war	mercenaries	working	to	earn	their	paycheck	.	his	ability	to	convey	feeling	and	character	while	promoting	explosiveness	and	tense	atmosphere	works	well	here	,	and	ronin	becomes	a	better	movie	because	of	it	.	robert	de	niro	headlines	this	cast	of	noteworthies	in	a	performance	that	is	the	most	outstanding	of	his	in	quite	some	time	.	he	takes	command	and	offers	much	gravity	as	the	ex	spy	sam	,	a	man	who's	called	to	france	to	help	a	shady	operations	controller	named	dierdre	(	natascha	mcelhone	)	recover	a	package	.	the	package	becomes	the	central	motivator	for	the	entire	cast	,	especially	once	the	requisite	double	crossing	begins	,	and	its	role	is	skillfully	penned	by	zeik	.	at	times	,	however	,	zeik's	tale	becomes	almost	too	reminiscent	of	mission	:	impossible	de	niro	might	easily	become	tom	cruise	,	the	package	might	become	cruise's	computer	disk	.	fortunately	,	the	focus	here	is	almost	entirely	on	the	package	,	whereas	in	mission	the	script	was	more	concerned	with	the	double	cross	and	why	it	happened	.	the	action	content	is	impressive	,	and	it	lives	up	to	the	hints	given	in	previews	.	the	only	fans	who	will	be	disappointed	are	those	who	expect	full	blown	combat	scenes	and	instead	are	forced	to	suffer	through	moments	of	slowness	.	ronin	does	take	a	degree	of	intelligence	to	follow	all	of	the	nuance	from	start	to	finish	,	but	even	the	uninitiated	will	be	able	to	keep	a	grasp	on	most	characters	mand	subplots	.	the	suspense	tapers	off	considerably	by	the	end	,	a	bit	of	a	drawback	because	of	its	height	at	the	movie's	open	.	considering	these	factors	it's	good	to	see	that	ronin	was	a	project	that	turned	out	well	,	and	it's	another	good	bet	this	month	.	since	quality	is	usually	sparse	during	the	early	fall	months	,	it's	definitely	worth	the	visit	.
pos	close	your	eyes	for	a	moment	,	if	you	will	,	and	imagine	the	sound	of	stephen	rea's	gaelic	brogue	,	silky	smooth	and	irish	like	a	pint	of	guinness	.	a	lackadaisical	,	naughty	little	schoolboy	voice	that	flirts	and	gambols	.	an	acerbic	,	sing	song	metered	voice	that	evokes	the	startling	imagery	and	language	of	anthony	burgess'	"	a	clockwork	orange	.	"	a	voice	that	deliciously	conjures	scenes	both	porcine	and	puerile	,	like	those	out	of	"	delicatessen	,	"	or	"	the	tin	drum	.	"	imagine	all	of	that	,	and	you'll	get	a	good	sense	of	what	you	can	expect	from	"	the	butcher	boy	.	"	imagine	that	and	more	.	neil	jordan's	latest	film	"	stars	"	rea	in	more	ways	than	one	.	rea	,	the	accomplished	irish	actor	most	notable	from	his	star	turn	in	jordan's	"	the	crying	game	,	"	contributes	a	restrained	and	managed	performance	as	da	brady	,	a	small	town	drunk	in	an	unnamed	irish	community	in	the	1960s	.	but	it's	his	wall	to	wall	narration	as	the	butcher	boy	of	the	title	,	da	brady's	son	,	francis	,	that	makes	rea's	"	performance	"	worth	watching	,	worth	listening	to	.
pos	tibet	has	entered	the	american	consciousness	slowly	during	the	past	few	years	and	burst	into	the	forefront	recently	.	the	dalai	lama	has	made	speaking	tours	,	tibetan	designs	and	artifacts	are	showing	up	in	shops	,	the	plight	of	the	people	has	captured	the	imagination	of	major	actors	and	artists	and	now	there	are	two	big	budget	films	within	as	many	months	.	"	kundun	"	(	"	presence	"	,	a	name	the	monks	call	the	young	dalai	lama	)	opens	in	1937	with	the	search	for	the	14th	incarnation	of	the	tibetan	leader	.	a	group	of	monks	enters	a	village	and	a	two	year	old	child	catches	their	attention	.	the	young	boy	proves	himself	by	identifying	possessions	of	the	previous	holy	man	as	"	mine	"	.	he	and	his	family	are	then	moved	to	a	monastery	in	lhassa	where	he	is	to	be	prepared	to	take	his	position	as	the	religious	and	political	leader	of	the	country	.	he	is	forced	into	difficult	decisions	when	china	invades	the	country	in	1950	.	the	peaceful	and	isolated	country	is	ill	equipped	to	fight	off	the	intruders	and	diplomatic	attempts	over	the	next	years	yield	no	results	.	eventually	he	must	make	the	painful	choice	to	flee	to	neighboring	india	.	comparisons	to	"	seven	years	in	tibet	"	are	inevitable	.	both	films	cover	much	of	the	same	ground	although	the	earlier	movie	does	so	from	a	westerner's	point	of	view	and	features	boxoffice	draw	brad	pitt	.	"	kundun	"	features	only	native	actors	and	is	more	of	an	insider's	story	.	in	some	ways	,	this	makes	this	film	a	superior	concept	,	but	it	lacks	the	movement	and	spark	that	made	"	seven	years	"	such	an	audience	pleaser	.	the	actors	contribute	to	the	realistic	feel	of	the	movie	(	filmed	in	morocco	for	obvious	reasons	)	.	the	only	disappointment	is	chairman	mao	who	looks	like	a	wax	dummy	and	moves	as	if	he	were	a	computer	generated	character	.	on	an	intellectual	level	,	it	is	interesting	to	see	how	two	different	approaches	handle	the	same	facts	.	some	events	are	depicted	differently	and	pitt's	austrian	mountain	climber	who	was	portrayed	as	a	pivotal	influence	in	the	dalai	lama's	life	isn't	even	mentioned	here	.	glossed	over	in	"	seven	years	"	,	the	problems	with	the	tibetan	political	system	is	hinted	at	here	as	the	dalai	lama	muses	"	we	were	just	about	to	change	things	"	after	the	chinese	attack	.	the	film	is	magnificently	beautiful	thanks	primarily	to	the	cinematography	of	roger	deakins	.	his	lingering	camera	shows	the	exotic	tibetan	culture	with	luscious	detail	.	especially	striking	is	an	extreme	moving	close	up	of	a	sand	mandala	grain	by	grain	.	the	visual	treats	more	than	make	up	for	the	movie's	faults	creating	a	poetic	meditation	for	the	audience	.	walking	out	of	the	theater	you	feel	like	you	have	awakened	from	a	transcendental	experience	.	martin	scorsese	,	known	for	his	dark	tales	of	the	underworld	(	"	goodfellas	"	,	"	taxi	driver	"	,	"	casino	"	)	has	shifted	gears	.	something	of	a	thematic	follow	up	to	his	"	the	last	temptation	of	christ	"	,	this	is	his	slowest	film	yet	.	oddly	enough	for	a	director	with	a	history	of	graphic	violence	presenting	a	history	filled	with	atrocities	by	the	chinese	,	most	of	these	events	take	place	off	screen	.	his	decision	to	not	over	explain	rituals	is	commendable	.	the	stumbling	oracle	who	spits	out	his	prophecies	while	in	a	trance	state	is	much	more	effective	as	a	mystery	than	if	we	were	spoon	fed	interpretations	.	philip	glass's	score	is	impressive	although	at	times	it	is	too	overwhelming	and	distracting	.	i	talked	to	a	tibetan	i	met	outside	the	theater	who	had	just	seen	the	film	and	was	walking	back	in	to	see	it	again	.	hearing	his	description	of	how	he	escaped	from	tibet	at	the	age	of	seven	and	how	his	father	was	one	of	the	soldiers	accompanying	the	dalai	lama	during	his	trip	to	india	,	i	was	struck	by	what	was	missing	in	the	movie	.	as	grand	as	it	looks	and	as	historically	accurate	as	it	is	,	there	is	a	distance	between	the	audience	and	the	movie	.	the	film	is	more	concerned	with	visuals	and	history	and	less	so	with	human	beings	.	with	the	exception	of	a	few	scenes	,	involvement	with	the	characters	is	slight	.	one	of	those	exceptions	is	the	portrayal	of	the	young	dalai	lama	,	shown	as	a	mischievous	boy	who	can't	resist	being	a	kid	sometimes	.	an	encounter	with	his	older	brother	thubten	j	.	norbu	(	a	retired	indiana	university	professor	)	who	tells	the	young	leader	the	chinese	have	ordered	him	to	persuade	him	to	accept	communist	rule	or	kill	him	is	an	outstanding	moment	,	but	there	aren't	many	of	these	.	even	with	its	problems	,	the	"	kundun	"	experience	is	phenomenal	,	but	one	that	i	fear	most	will	miss	.	many	people	who	saw	"	seven	years	in	tibet	"	will	have	a	"	been	there	,	done	that	"	attitude	.	it's	likely	that	the	film	will	miss	a	wide	spread	appeal	and	public	response	will	be	the	sound	of	one	hand	clapping	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	22	years	:	18	years	less	than	the	dalai	lama	has	been	in	exile	.	electronic	meditations	can	go	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	.	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	.	a	)	this	appeared	in	the	1	22	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	reached	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	when	i	saw	the	trailer	for	this	film	,	i	laughed	harder	than	i	had	in	quite	some	time	.	while	i	was	therefore	pretty	well	psyched	to	see	it	,	i	was	ever	mindful	that	a	trailer	can	make	even	the	most	mediocre	film	look	good	.	i'm	happy	to	say	that	there's	something	about	mary	is	not	one	of	those	trailer	let	downs	.	in	fact	,	watching	this	film	was	quite	a	fine	way	to	spend	two	hours	.	the	film	opens	up	in	flashback	to	1985	,	at	a	high	school	in	cumberland	,	rhode	island	.	ted	stroehmann	(	ben	stiller	)	is	a	social	reject	who	can't	seem	to	get	a	date	to	the	upcoming	prom	,	until	he	comes	to	the	defense	of	the	mentally	retarded	warren	(	w	.	earl	brown	)	,	who's	being	harassed	by	one	of	the	school	jocks	.	it	seems	warren's	sister	is	the	campus	queen	,	mary	jensen	(	cameron	diaz	)	,	who	is	impressed	with	ted's	willingness	to	stand	up	for	her	defenseless	brother	,	despite	a	very	real	chance	of	getting	beaten	up	.	mary	takes	an	immediate	liking	to	ted	and	asks	him	to	the	prom	.	ted	was	just	flattered	that	she	even	knew	his	name	.	unfortunately	,	prom	night	is	ruined	when	ted	has	an	accident	with	his	zipper	(	at	which	every	man	in	the	theater	will	wince	)	,	and	is	sent	to	the	hospital	.	fast	forward	to	the	present	,	where	ted	has	cleaned	himself	up	,	now	writes	for	a	magazine	,	but	has	weekly	therapy	sessions	in	order	to	deal	with	his	obsession	of	the	past	13	years	:	mary	,	whom	he	hasn't	seen	since	that	fateful	day	.	with	the	help	of	his	friend	dom	(	chris	elliott	)	,	ted	hires	slimy	private	investigator	pat	healy	(	matt	dillon	)	to	track	down	his	only	love	.	however	,	when	pat	finds	mary	,	he	falls	for	her	too	,	and	soon	the	both	of	them	are	competing	for	her	affections	.	there's	something	about	mary	is	directed	by	bobby	and	peter	farrelly	,	who	brought	us	dumb	and	dumber	and	kingpin	.	not	exactly	intelligent	comedies	,	they	are	of	the	guilty	pleasure	variety	where	you	might	not	want	your	friends	or	co	workers	to	think	you	had	such	a	great	time	watching	them	.	with	their	current	film	,	the	farrelly	brothers	have	come	up	with	something	you'll	not	only	enjoy	,	but	also	won't	mind	talking	about	the	next	day	at	the	water	cooler	.	the	film	succeeds	in	employing	a	pretty	wide	range	of	comedic	styles	,	from	the	subtle	to	the	ridiculous	,	and	while	a	few	of	the	gags	might	be	offensive	to	some	(	seeming	like	residuals	from	the	farrelly	brothers'	last	two	films	)	they	almost	all	work	.	i	have	not	seen	many	movies	in	the	recent	past	that	shoot	for	the	mark	and	so	often	hit	it	dead	on	.	one	minute	you'll	be	laughing	at	something	ted	says	,	and	the	next	you'll	be	howling	at	the	sight	of	a	dog	dragging	him	across	the	floor	of	mary's	apartment	.	one	of	the	great	things	this	film	has	going	for	it	is	ben	stiller	.	he	is	perfectly	cast	in	the	role	of	ted	,	because	he's	a	guy	who	just	looks	awkward	in	almost	every	situation	.	ted's	a	nice	fellow	and	tries	to	do	his	best	,	but	for	some	reason	or	another	things	just	don't	always	work	out	.	it's	comical	,	but	also	has	that	kind	of	appeal	where	you	really	feel	for	the	him	and	want	him	to	come	out	on	top	.	actually	,	i've	liked	stiller	since	he	did	a	short	which	aired	on	saturday	night	live	back	in	the	mid	eighties	.	the	film	was	like	a	theatrical	trailer	for	a	spoof	on	the	tom	cruise	paul	newman	film	the	color	of	money	,	entitled	the	hustler	of	money	.	in	it	,	stiller	played	wince	(	not	vince	)	who	is	taken	under	the	wing	of	an	older	man	(	played	by	john	mahoney	)	to	become	a	big	time	bowling	hustler	.	it	was	parody	at	its	finest	,	more	of	which	showed	up	in	the	short	lived	"	the	ben	stiller	show	"	on	the	fox	network	in	late	'92	early	'93	.	like	"	the	critic	"	(	which	aired	on	abc	,	then	fox	)	,	i	still	mourn	that	show's	cancellation	.	cameron	diaz	is	absolutely	enchanting	for	most	of	the	film	,	although	her	character	seems	obsessed	with	perfection	in	the	men	she	dates	,	and	some	of	the	qualities	she	looks	for	make	mary	look	paper	thin	at	times	.	however	,	diaz	pulls	the	role	off	with	such	panache	and	charm	,	that	you	can	still	see	why	she's	got	guys	just	falling	over	each	other	to	be	with	her	.	heck	,	i	even	found	her	laugh	to	be	cute	,	even	though	i	thought	it	was	annoying	during	an	appearance	she	made	on	the	tonight	show	last	week	.	my	girlfriend	remarked	that	matt	dillon	doesn't	change	,	and	you	know	,	it's	really	true	.	he	and	ralph	macchio	must	hang	out	or	something	.	maybe	they	live	in	dick	clark's	pool	house	.	anyway	,	here's	another	good	piece	of	casting	,	as	dillon	slips	beautifully	into	the	role	of	the	guy	who	tries	to	worm	his	way	into	mary's	heart	.	the	supporting	performances	are	also	good	.	chris	elliott	has	a	bigger	part	than	in	the	abyss	(	yes	,	check	it	out	next	time	)	,	and	less	annoying	than	in	cabin	boy	.	lin	shae	,	who	plays	mary's	neighbor	magda	(	and	also	appeared	as	the	landlady	in	kingpin	)	,	provides	some	good	laughs	,	especially	in	scenes	with	her	benji	like	dog	,	which	acts	as	the	focal	point	for	a	few	of	the	funniest	moments	of	the	film	.	lee	evans	,	as	mary's	friend	tucker	,	displays	a	flexibility	in	acting	and	accents	which	surprises	and	contributes	to	an	interesting	plot	twist	.	the	farrelly	brothers	and	scriptwriters	ed	decter	and	john	j	.	strauss	keep	the	comedic	pacing	going	so	that	there	aren't	any	noticeable	times	where	the	film	drags	.	the	only	problem	i	saw	was	their	use	of	a	couple	of	musicians	who	provide	segues	between	several	key	scenes	.	they	appear	out	of	nowhere	and	actually	sing	plot	relevant	information	right	toward	the	camera	.	it's	a	device	which	was	amusing	for	about	three	seconds	when	they	opened	the	film	.	after	that	it	got	a	little	annoying	,	and	it's	unfortunate	that	those	spots	interrupt	what	would	otherwise	be	a	smooth	flow	.	fortunately	,	filled	with	sight	gags	,	humorous	lines	,	and	solid	comedic	acting	,	there's	something	about	mary	will	still	have	you	laughing	after	you	leave	the	theater	.
pos	bowfinger	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	bowfinger	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	bowfinger	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	(	for	screen	,	dvd	,	and	reviews	,	plus	cool	contests	,	visit	:	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	http	:	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	bring	a	date	.	)	steve	martin	took	an	extended	vacation	from	all	facets	of	moviemaking	a	few	years	back	;	he	spent	this	time	writing	essays	and	short	stories	for	"	the	new	yorker	,	"	several	of	which	wound	up	in	his	hilarious	hardback	compilation	,	pure	drivel	(	1998	)	.	much	of	the	book	spares	tinseltown	from	mockery	,	although	he	does	riff	on	the	racist	comments	made	by	marlon	brando	during	a	larry	king	interview	,	in	a	fine	chapter	called	"	in	search	of	the	wily	filipino	.	"	now	,	as	writer	and	star	of	bowfinger	,	he	offers	the	masses	plenty	of	good	reasons	not	to	pursue	a	career	in	the	cinema	,	perhaps	finally	venting	the	frustrations	(	'everything	being	made	now	is	crap'	)	that	led	to	his	brief	retirement	from	hollywood	.	martin	stars	as	bobby	bowfinger	,	a	roger	corman	wannabe	on	the	cusp	of	fifty	and	desperate	for	some	success	as	a	producer	,	quality	of	the	projects	be	damned	.	his	accountant	(	adam	alexi	malle	)	proposes	a	movie	called	"	chubby	rain	,	"	about	aliens	who	travel	to	earth	in	raindrops	slightly	fatter	than	regular	raindrops	.	bowfinger	latches	onto	the	idea	immediately	,	and	convinces	his	troupe	of	actor	friends	to	appear	in	the	film	,	based	on	the	lie	that	america's	top	box	office	draw	,	kit	ramsey	(	murphy	)	,	has	agreed	to	star	.	ramsey	,	of	course	,	wants	nothing	to	do	with	such	low	grade	material	,	so	bowfinger	,	on	the	thinking	that	action	stars	need	to	run	,	not	speak	,	decides	to	photograph	the	superstar	surreptitiously	.	he	sends	his	cast	members	(	who	aren't	in	on	it	,	either	;	they	are	told	ramsey	hates	the	sight	of	cameras	and	fraternizing	with	his	co	stars	)	to	ramsey's	table	at	restaurants	,	asks	them	to	follow	him	in	parking	lots	,	etc	.	,	spouting	script	dialogue	,	all	the	while	shooting	the	outcome	from	a	great	distance	.	the	paranoid	ramsey	flees	the	scene	nearly	every	time	.	ramsey	is	a	member	of	mind	head	,	a	cultish	self	help	organization	apparently	dedicated	to	recruiting	celebrities	.	(	as	if	that's	not	familiar	enough	,	mind	head	guru	terry	stricter	(	terence	stamp	)	has	been	dressed	and	combed	to	resemble	l	.	ron	hubbard	,	founder	of	scientology	.	)	when	he	goes	to	mind	head	with	tales	of	caucasian	strangers	appearing	from	nowhere	to	babble	"	white	code	"	in	his	face	,	they	fear	the	nervous	breakdown	of	an	important	client	and	rush	him	off	to	a	retreat	,	requiring	bowfinger	to	find	a	stand	in	.	murphy	will	probably	win	more	fans	as	jiff	,	ramsey's	adorable	,	ignoramus	double	,	than	as	kit	,	but	it	is	his	portrayal	of	the	latter	that	took	courage	.	always	surrounded	by	an	entourage	,	suffering	from	a	racial	inferiority	complex	,	murphy	plays	right	into	the	tabloid	image	of	himself	.	furthermore	,	consider	the	enemies	he'll	make	of	popular	scientologists	.	pacing	stricter's	neutral	coloured	office	as	if	on	an	amphetamine	binge	and	stripped	of	his	bigshot	veneer	,	ramsey	is	asked	to	shout	inane	personal	affirmations	repeatedly	.	murphy's	scenes	with	stamp	are	exactly	what	i	imagine	of	a	john	travolta	"	clearing	.	"	not	that	murphy	is	entirely	responsible	for	this	schtick	;	bowfinger	is	steve	martin's	invention	.	his	script	is	surprisingly	clever	as	satire	,	given	that	the	pseudo	religion	is	a	sitting	duck	,	as	is	the	entire	los	angeles	film	industry	.	(	the	griffin	mill	types	take	quite	a	beating	,	in	the	form	of	robert	downey	jr	.	as	bigwig	jerry	renfro	.	)	martin's	decision	to	tell	the	story	from	a	bottom	feeder's	point	of	view	is	what	keeps	it	fresh	and	innovative	never	have	we	seen	on	screen	a	group	of	people	struggle	this	hard	to	complete	a	motion	picture	.	as	expected	,	there	are	laughs	only	to	be	had	insiders	or	buffs	,	such	as	martin's	crew	of	mexican	border	jumpers	,	who	gain	unexpected	appreciation	for	the	classics	from	reading	"	cahiers	du	cinema	,	"	or	martin's	nonsensical	explanation	to	dave	,	his	loyal	cinematographer	(	jamie	kennedy	)	,	that	every	movie	,	in	the	end	,	has	a	budget	of	two	thousand	dollars	(	!	)	.	most	of	bowfinger	is	universally	funny	,	however	;	i	defy	any	viewer	to	keep	a	straight	face	when	christine	baranski	,	one	of	our	brightest	comediennes	,	is	on	screen	.	bowfinger's	main	flaw	is	a	plot	twist	that	has	an	insubstantial	aftermath	.	we're	also	asked	to	believe	that	a	few	simple	close	ups	of	kit	ramsey	would	redeem	"	chubby	rain	,	"	z	grade	entertainment	that	would	make	ed	wood	blush	.	(	this	aspect	of	bowfinger	has	much	in	common	with	the	ludicrous	oscar	sequence	in	oz's	last	directorial	effort	,	the	poorly	conceived	in	out	.	)	these	are	significant	enough	weaknesses	that	they	distracted	from	my	enjoyment	of	the	piece	.	as	i	mentioned	at	the	start	of	this	review	,	bowfinger	offers	solid	reasons	not	to	do	what	heather	graham's	character	daisy	does	:	hop	a	bus	to	hollywood	in	search	of	stardom	.	that	said	,	it	offers	one	fantastic	reason	to	get	on	that	bus	:	the	sense	of	community	between	filmmakers	who	gel	is	awesome	.	martin	gets	sentimental	by	story's	end	as	he	did	in	l	.	a	.	story	,	and	how	could	he	not	?	for	those	who	can	hack	it	,	the	movies	might	be	the	greatest	business	in	the	world	.
pos	starring	:	christian	slater	,	morgan	freeman	,	randy	quaid	,	minnie	driver	,	ed	asner	ingredients	:	pouring	rain	,	small	flooded	town	,	damn	about	to	burst	,	bad	guys	going	after	millions	of	dollars	synopsis	:	at	one	point	in	the	story	townsperson	karen	asks	hero	tom	what	happened	to	her	church	.	he	replies	something	like	:	"	the	church	is	flooded	but	at	least	the	floodwaters	put	out	the	big	fire	.	well	,	the	fire	wasn't	that	bad	,	since	,	while	the	church	was	burning	,	looters	apparently	thought	it	was	safe	enough	to	break	through	all	the	priceless	stained	glass	windows	.	"	in	hard	rain	a	small	town	is	nearly	deserted	due	to	flooding	.	everyone	has	had	to	evacuate	because	it's	raining	,	and	now	floodwaters	are	rising	so	high	that	buildings	are	being	submerged	and	the	nearby	dam	is	about	to	break	.	enter	a	working	class	smart	alecky	new	armored	car	driver	named	tom	(	christian	slater	)	.	suddenly	his	security	truck	carrying	over	three	million	dollars	gets	stuck	on	the	flooded	street	and	is	waylaid	by	armed	looters	.	tom	has	no	choice	but	to	grab	the	bag	full	of	money	,	hide	it	,	and	swim	for	his	life	.	this	makes	for	an	action	movie	full	of	jet	skis	,	speedboat	chases	,	and	gun	battles	,	as	tom	tries	to	evade	and	outsmart	corrupt	cops	and	armed	looters	until	the	national	guard	can	answer	his	distress	call	.	he	is	befriended	and	aided	by	a	spunky	churchgoing	young	woman	from	town	named	karen	(	minnie	driver	)	.	but	unknown	to	tom	and	karen	,	the	national	guard	never	heard	tom's	initial	distress	call	.	will	tom	and	karen	survive	the	natural	and	manmade	disasters	?	opinion	:	don't	expect	thought	provoking	issues	or	dramatics	.	there's	not	much	more	to	this	movie	than	hiding	,	running	,	swimming	,	shooting	,	and	saving	handcuffed	heroes	from	drowning	,	but	that's	what	makes	it	escapist	and	fun	.	relax	,	take	your	shoes	off	,	and	break	out	the	popcorn	.
pos	director	:	tony	kaye	writer	:	david	mckenna	starring	:	edward	norton	,	edward	furlong	,	avery	brooks	,	fairuza	balk	,	beverly	d'angelo	,	stacy	keach	,	jennifer	lien	,	ethan	suplee	,	guy	torry	,	eliott	gould	,	william	russ	,	paul	le	mat	it's	tough	to	really	say	something	nice	about	a	type	of	person	who's	so	ethnocentric	that	any	humanity	they	once	had	is	now	gone	,	but	by	god	,	"	american	history	x	"	does	it	,	and	for	that	,	i	commend	it	.	it	not	only	takes	balls	but	intelligence	to	make	a	human	being	out	of	a	neo	nazi	skinhead	,	a	kind	of	person	who	dedicates	their	lives	to	hating	anyone	who's	not	what	they	are	,	and	this	film	wisely	and	miracurously	pulls	it	off	.	the	subject	of	this	film	is	one	of	them	,	but	he	is	worse	than	one	of	the	blind	followers	that	make	up	most	skinhead	members	since	he	is	the	leader	of	the	pack	.	he's	the	one	who	instigates	them	to	take	a	firm	grip	onto	their	rage	,	and	then	in	another	brilliant	stroke	,	justifies	it	with	political	propoganda	that	makes	eerie	sense	when	he	speaks	.	he's	so	utterly	convincing	as	a	public	speaker	and	so	firm	in	his	convictions	that	it	comes	as	a	shock	when	he	actually	goes	through	the	rehabilitation	process	.	his	name	is	derek	vinyard	,	and	he's	played	by	edward	norton	with	so	much	fire	and	intensity	that	when	he	speaks	he's	almost	as	convincing	and	arresting	a	public	speaker	as	,	say	,	malcom	x	.	when	we	first	see	him	,	he's	clean	shaven	,	with	a	jet	black	swastica	emrboidered	on	his	left	breast	,	a	devlish	goatee	,	and	he's	attacking	the	black	carjackers	outside	of	his	house	dressed	in	nothing	but	his	white	boxers	and	carrying	a	handgun	in	his	hand	that	never	seems	to	run	out	of	bullets	,	at	least	when	he	doesn't	need	them	.	he	so	believes	in	his	convictions	that	he's	willing	to	put	his	beliefs	to	the	test	,	even	if	he	knows	it	will	mean	a	stop	in	prison	,	if	only	for	a	couple	years	.	"	american	history	x	"	is	about	derek	,	how	he	became	a	neo	nazi	skinhead	,	how	he	rose	to	power	,	how	he	was	rehabilitated	in	prison	after	murdering	two	black	men	in	a	fit	of	rage	that	was	less	to	do	with	the	stealing	of	his	car	and	more	to	do	with	proving	himself	,	and	how	he	tried	to	save	others	,	namely	his	younger	brother	,	from	making	the	same	mistake	.	we	see	him	at	all	of	these	stages	as	a	smart	teenager	,	a	vicious	hate	monger	,	a	man	having	an	epiphany	,	and	the	man	who	tries	to	correct	what	he's	done	before	and	in	all	of	these	,	we	get	a	portrait	of	a	man	from	all	sides	.	or	at	least	,	that's	the	intention	.	the	film's	framing	device	is	his	brother	,	danny	(	edward	furlong	,	perpetually	looking	about	13	)	,	also	now	a	skinhead	,	and	how	his	principal	,	bob	sweeney	(	avery	brooks	,	who	i	just	found	out	was	or	is	the	captain	on	star	trek's	deep	space	9	)	,	is	trying	to	"	correct	"	him	.	when	the	film	opens	,	danny	has	just	written	a	book	report	on	"	mein	kampf	,	"	landing	him	in	trouble	with	sweeney	,	which	causes	him	to	make	him	write	a	paper	on	derek's	life	and	how	it	has	gotten	him	nowhere	.	coincidentally	,	this	day	is	the	day	derek	is	released	from	prison	,	and	when	we	see	him	,	he's	cleaned	up	,	not	as	buff	,	and	has	a	full	head	of	hair	.	he's	just	as	intelligent	,	but	still	very	rough	along	the	edges	,	but	he's	wisened	up	.	he's	no	longer	controlled	by	his	anger	at	blacks	and	jews	,	and	tries	to	persuade	danny	,	who's	becoming	what	derek	was	before	,	to	give	up	his	lifestyle	.	but	danny	won't	.	he	goes	to	a	large	skinhead	beer	bash	,	meets	with	the	skinhead	leader	(	stacy	keach	)	,	and	then	discovers	that	derek	is	as	opposed	to	neo	nazi	dom	as	he	was	for	it	a	couple	of	years	ago	.	the	film	circles	around	this	,	then	spins	off	into	non	linear	flashbacks	,	all	done	in	black	and	white	.	we	mostly	see	derek	at	his	prime	as	a	skinhead	,	living	in	venice	beach	,	organizing	vicious	and	quasi	sadistic	raids	on	local	stores	that	no	longer	hire	the	white	,	middle	class	teenagers	since	they	can	easily	get	cheaper	illegal	immigrants	to	do	the	same	work	,	and	mouthing	off	his	theories	on	affirmative	action	and	how	illegal	immigrants	and	blacks	have	destroyed	the	fundamentals	this	country	was	built	on	.	to	them	,	the	white	man	is	the	one	who	has	gotten	the	fuzzy	end	of	the	lolipop	,	and	he	not	only	speaks	elloquently	,	forcefully	,	and	intelligently	,	but	he	backs	everything	up	with	political	reasons	,	justifying	their	rage	at	least	to	them	.	and	frighteningly	enough	,	much	of	what	he	says	sounds	true	.	"	american	history	x	"	is	a	collection	of	really	great	scenes	and	moments	,	rather	than	a	cohesive	,	great	film	that	flows	effortlessly	from	one	moment	to	the	next	.	in	it	,	there	are	some	of	the	best	scenes	i've	seen	all	year	.	one	scene	features	a	dinner	between	derek's	family	,	and	his	mother's	newest	boyfriend	(	played	with	reserve	by	eliott	gould	)	,	a	jewish	liberal	who	quietly	disagrees	with	derek's	rightist	views	,	launching	the	scene	into	a	fit	of	rage	and	anger	that	builds	unparalled	emotions	in	the	audience	(	gould's	reaction	to	derek's	final	summation	is	unnerrving	)	.	another	scene	uses	humor	and	traditional	macho	sex	talk	to	build	a	friendship	and	a	nice	connection	between	derek	and	a	black	co	worker	(	guy	torry	)	while	folding	laundry	in	prison	.	and	another	soon	to	be	classic	is	actually	divided	in	two	:	the	murder	of	the	two	black	men	that	winds	derek	in	jail	,	which	contains	a	final	murder	so	nasty	that	it	may	be	the	most	revoltingly	shocking	all	year	.	there's	much	more	to	appreciate	,	like	the	acting	,	which	is	uniformly	good	,	with	stand	outs	coming	from	avery	brooks	,	beverly	d'angelo	(	as	the	long	suffering	mother	)	,	and	gould	(	who	has	one	horrible	line	,	but	other	than	that	,	comes	off	with	the	best	performance	he's	given	in	what	seems	like	a	really	long	time	)	.	norton	walks	off	with	the	film	,	though	,	coming	off	with	such	intensity	that	he	reduces	anyone	not	doing	an	adequate	job	to	rubble	.	in	only	the	fifth	movie	of	his	career	,	norton	has	invented	himself	as	one	of	the	most	reliable	and	intense	actors	of	his	generation	,	and	maybe	the	best	.	there's	nothing	like	it	when	norton	really	gets	rolling	in	this	movie	,	spewing	out	lines	with	such	authority	that	he	commands	all	attention	from	the	audience	,	coming	off	with	power	similar	to	that	of	a	young	maron	brando	.	that	he	allows	the	little	emotions	to	seep	through	is	amazing	.	sadly	enough	,	this	isn't	going	to	be	the	great	portrait	of	racism	that	it	perhaps	hopes	to	be	.	it's	too	unambitious	and	even	a	little	contrived	to	really	take	off	as	either	a	powerful	statement	or	an	emotional	masterpiece	.	the	ending	,	especially	,	is	pencilled	in	from	other	movies	,	tossed	in	just	so	the	emotional	keyboard	can	be	trounced	upon	.	some	of	the	skinheads	are	reduced	to	mere	cliches	(	kevin	smith	regular	ethan	suplee	fairs	rather	annoyingly	as	the	"	fat	skinhead	,	"	whose	lines	consist	without	fail	of	expressing	his	desire	to	eat	more	)	,	and	even	the	dramatic	arc	isn't	as	well	travelled	.	furlong's	danny	never	seems	to	really	be	learning	a	lesson	,	since	the	flashbacks	refuse	to	show	his	point	of	view	,	and	when	he	decides	to	make	a	change	by	the	end	(	which	was	inevitable	)	,	it	doesn't	seem	like	it	has	actually	arrived	there	.	even	derek's	descent	into	skinhead	dom	doesn't	seem	justified	.	though	his	fireman	father	(	william	russ	,	the	dad	from	"	boy	meets	world	,	"	and	don't	ask	me	how	i	know	that	)	is	killed	by	a	black	junkie	,	and	even	before	he	spoke	against	affirmative	action	intelligently	,	there	never	seems	to	be	any	real	back	story	why	derek	became	so	intense	about	his	beliefs	.	as	such	,	one	can	see	why	the	director	,	tony	kaye	,	wanted	to	have	his	name	removed	.	sorta	.	"	american	history	x	"	is	a	very	good	movie	,	and	i	was	very	moved	by	it	,	but	it	could	be	a	lot	better	,	and	the	problem	seems	to	be	that	the	cut	as	it	is	is	not	up	to	what	he	claims	to	be	his	potential	.	somewhere	,	he	claims	,	there	lies	a	tony	kaye	cut	,	and	that	was	to	be	the	true	cut	until	it	was	viewed	by	norton	,	who	then	ordered	another	cut	,	and	that	is	thus	.	although	he	aimed	for	the	directing	credit	to	go	to	"	alan	smithee	,	"	the	resident	name	for	any	film	that	is	to	be	disowned	by	its	director	,	it	wasn't	allowed	to	him	,	under	the	grounds	that	once	you	disown	a	film	,	you	can	not	badmouth	it	(	but	really	,	that's	the	macguffin	no	one	really	wanted	a	film	this	good	to	be	given	the	alan	smithee	sign	of	disapproval	)	.	kaye's	right	in	that	it's	not	up	to	par	,	even	if	he's	not	referring	to	normal	par	but	rather	his	own	personal	par	.	this	will	not	be	a	"	do	the	right	thing	"	for	the	late	90s	.	yet	it	still	gets	its	point	across	intelligently	,	and	backs	it	up	with	its	story	(	its	message	,	that	one	cannot	be	so	enwrapped	in	one's	own	beliefs	or	pain	and	suffering	will	occur	,	is	literally	said	over	the	narration	,	unfortunately	)	.	and	even	if	it	isn't	perfect	,	at	least	when	avery	brooks	turns	to	norton	after	he	has	been	beaten	and	raped	in	prison	,	and	asks	him	if	anything	he's	done	has	made	his	life	any	better	,	it	realy	hits	a	nerve	,	not	only	in	derek	,	but	also	in	the	audience	.
pos	based	on	the	relatively	unknown	(	in	comparison	to	spider	man	)	marvel	comic	book	,	blade	tells	the	story	of	half	vampire	half	human	(	played	by	wesley	snipes	)	who	was	born	of	a	vampire's	latest	meal	.	now	swearing	vengeance	against	all	vampires	,	blade	hunts	them	all	.	his	latest	challenge	is	his	biggest	though	.	.	.	he	must	stop	the	vampire	deacon	frost	(	played	by	stephen	dorff	)	from	summoning	the	blood	god	and	turning	the	rest	of	the	world	into	vampires	.	admitedly	,	comic	books	are	one	of	the	least	appreciated	mediums	,	often	viewed	as	juvenile	by	most	standards	,	even	seen	as	illiterate	by	some	.	judging	by	a	series	of	poorly	recieved	(	financial	and	critical	)	comic	book	based	films	(	such	as	batman	and	robin	,	steel	,	barb	wire	,	the	crow	:	city	of	angels	,	and	the	list	goes	on	)	,	one	would	come	to	the	conclusion	that	comic	books	are	the	worst	medium	to	translate	into	film	.	to	some	degree	,	i	agree	with	this	sentiment	.	having	read	comic	books	since	the	age	of	nine	(	i'm	21	right	now	)	i	can	count	the	number	of	good	comic	book	based	movies	(	not	including	japanese	manga	)	one	hand	:	1	:	the	crow	(	1994	)	,	2	:	batman	(	1989	)	,	3	:	superman	,	4	:	the	mask	,	and	now	,	5	,	blade	.	(	"	men	in	black	"	is	not	on	this	list	because	it	is	an	extreme	deviation	from	the	original	comic	book	)	why	is	this	?	for	the	most	part	,	it	is	because	the	filmmakers	understandthe	comic	book	medium	and	come	up	with	an	appropriate	atmosphere	to	match	.	the	crow	and	batman	comics	call	for	a	dark	gothic	atmosphere	,	which	the	director	provided	.	the	mask	features	a	wacky	superhero	with	off	the	wall	antics	,	which	the	casting	and	cg	effects	reflect	.	superman	is	not	over	the	top	with	colour	and	flash	,	and	the	film	reflects	this	.	blade	uses	common	notions	of	vampires	and	incorporates	them	into	the	film	,	creating	an	appropriate	atmosphere	.	this	is	in	stark	contrast	to	joel	schumacher's	contrived	vision	in	batman	and	robin	,	reflecting	the	dated	atmosphere	in	the	1960's	television	show	.	batman	and	robin	proved	that	the	director	failed	to	realize	one	fundamental	fact	:	comics	have	grown	up	,	and	so	has	the	audience	(	i'm	working	on	a	scathing	review	of	batman	and	robin	and	will	post	it	up	when	i'm	ready	)	.	which	brings	me	back	to	blade	.	although	he	may	be	a	familiar	character	to	some	,	due	to	his	appearances	in	the	spider	man	animated	show	on	fox	,	one	will	find	no	single	trace	of	the	warm	and	fuzzy	vampire	hunter	as	depicted	in	the	cartoon	.	the	film	depicts	a	vicious	vampire	killer	that	uses	every	single	means	at	his	disposal	to	reach	his	ends	.	the	end	results	are	not	pretty	by	any	means	.	the	story	elements	work	very	well	for	a	comic	book	story	.	screenwriter	david	goyer	(	who	also	wrote	the	crow	)	incorporates	interesting	elements	of	vampire	lore	,	using	science	to	explain	many	of	the	ideas	often	dismissed	in	vampire	films	.	this	is	presented	through	karen	,	a	hematologist	portrayed	by	n'bushe	wright	.	this	leads	to	inventive	use	of	standard	medical	treatments	to	kill	vampires	.	add	this	to	the	neat	little	gadgets	that	blade	uses	(	including	a	titanium	sword	complete	with	an	"	anti	theft	device	"	)	,	and	one	has	an	interesting	premise	.	however	,	the	film	works	best	as	an	action	film	.	actor	wesley	snipes	hasan	extensive	background	in	martial	arts	(	most	of	which	comes	from	capoeira	,	a	brazillian	form	incorporating	flashy	kicks	)	,	choreographing	every	single	move	.	proving	that	quick	,	flash	cutting	edits	are	no	substitute	for	choreographed	fight	sequences	(	see	batman	and	robin	for	a	good	example	of	that	)	,	wesley	snipes	dazzles	the	audience	with	some	incredible	fight	scenes	.	regardless	,	this	film	is	far	from	perfect	.	the	film	suffers	from	at	least	one	major	plot	hole	,	regarding	the	summoning	of	the	blood	god	.	the	ritual	requires	that	a	number	of	pure	blood	vampires	are	standing	on	marked	squares	,	yet	one	of	them	is	viciously	murdered	,	allowing	the	ritual	to	pass	(	and	the	murdered	vampire	is	later	shown	standing	on	the	square	)	.	obvious	continuity	errors	also	surface	,	especially	during	a	scene	where	deacon	frost	takes	a	drag	on	his	cigarette	and	is	not	exhaling	it	in	the	next	frame	(	there	is	no	trace	of	smoke	either	)	.	much	of	the	special	effects	are	not	that	spectacular	either	.	while	vampire	disintegration	scenes	are	intriguing	to	watch	,	other	cgi	(	computer	generated	imagery	)	effects	are	almost	slapped	together	,	which	is	surprising	when	given	the	amount	of	time	the	film	was	given	to	be	released	(	the	film's	release	date	was	pushed	back	multiple	times	)	.	scenes	with	computer	generated	blood	look	extremely	fake	,	knocking	the	believability	factor	down	a	few	notches	(	but	then	,	i'm	really	hard	to	impress	)	.	the	film's	r	rating	comes	from	gory	violence	,	but	the	lack	of	realism	made	me	wonder	why	it	got	such	a	rating	(	for	realistic	violence	,
pos	starring	mark	whalberg	,	burt	reynolds	,	julianne	moore	and	heather	graham	one	way	of	telling	if	a	film	is	good	or	not	is	by	the	length	.	if	a	film	is	only	90	minutes	,	but	feels	like	300	minutes	,	then	it's	crap	.	but	if	a	film	last	2	1	2	hours	,	and	feels	like	90	minutes	,	then	it's	excellent	.	boogie	nights	falls	into	the	latter	catagory	.	the	director	,	anderson	,	delivers	a	funny	,	hip	,	yet	sometimes	violent	film	,	which	flies	along	.	mark	whalberg	,	a	.	k	.	a	marky	mark	,	plays	eddie	adams	,	a	seventeen	year	old	with	a	certain	'gift'	in	the	midriff	area	.	jack	horner	(	reynolds	)	is	a	adult	film	director	,	who	decides	that	eddie	would	be	great	in	the	adult	movie	business	.	after	running	away	from	home	,	eddie	joins	jack	,	changes	his	name	to	dirk	diggler	,	and	starts	making	erotic	movies	.	in	the	movie	business	,	dirk	meets	a	whole	load	of	characters	(	which	the	film	introduces	very	quickly	and	slickly	)	such	as	scotty	(	phillip	seymour	hoffman	)	,	rollergirl	(	graham	)	amber	(	moore	)	and	floyd	(	phillip	baker	hall	)	,	and	little	bill	(	william	h	.	macy	)	all	the	characters	are	well	written	,	well	played	,	and	the	audience	gets	to	know	them	pretty	well	,	thanks	to	the	excellent	script	.	we	learn	about	ambers	grief	about	not	being	able	to	see	her	child	due	to	a	divorce	,	rollergirls	hard	time	at	school	,	and	little	bills	wife	,	who	sleeps	with	everyone	except	her	husband	.	but	the	best	thing	about	the	excellent	boogie	nights	is	paul	andersons	direction	and	writing	.	the	direction	is	fast	,	thrilling	,	and	never	holds	up	.	there	are	some	great	shots	,	some	lovely	steadiocam	and	handheld	camera	sequences	,	and	lots	of	other	neat	directional	touches	.	the	writing	is	fabulous	,	with	some	intelligent	dialogue	,	some	funny	dialogue	,	but	none	of	the	dialogue	is	crap	,	like	most	hollywood	films	(	such	as	the	lost	world	:	jurassic	park	(	1997	)	,	or	tommorow	never	dies	(	1997	)	.	)	boogie	nights	really	is	a	spectacular	feat	of	direction	and	writing	,	on	par	(	and	sometimes	betters	)	quentin	tarantino's	films	resevoir	dogs	(	1992	)	and	pulp	fiction	(	1994	)	the	soundtrack	is	also	excellent	.	like	american	graffiti	(	1973	)	,	the	film	features	some	great	old	songs	on	the	soundtrack	,	which	heightens	the	atmosphere	,	and	gives	the	film	an	extra	lift	.	also	,	the	costumes	are	great	.	the	clothes	really	do	look	like	what	people	wore	in	the	seventies	and	eighties	.	the	film	,	although	excellent	,	does	have	some	flaws	.	firstly	,	wahlberg	,	although	excellent	,	cannot	do	highly	scenes	which	require	him	to	be	angry	.	in	both	scenes	where	he	has	to	act	angry	,	his	acting	is	so	'off'	,	the	scenes	tension	and	anger	is	lost	.	but	the	rest	of	the	cast	are	excellent	.	burt	reynolds	is	brilliant	,	julianne	moore	shows	real	emotion	,	and	william	h	.	macy	is	great	aswell	(	but	he	always	is	.	)	another	flaw	with	the	film	,	though	,	is	that	the	ending	seems	a	bit	tacked	on	.	it	seems	anderson	saw	the	film	was	going	on	a	bit	,	and	needed	to	wrap	up	quickly	.	it's	a	shame	,	really	,	as	the	rest	of	the	film	is	perfectly	paced	.	but	they're	small	niggles	really	.	boogie	nights	is	an	excellent	film	.	superb	directing	,	writing	,	acting	and	music	,	all	combine	to	make	one	spectacular	film	.	whatever	you	do	,	do	not	miss	out	on	boogie	nights	.
pos	barely	scrapping	by	playing	at	a	nyc	piano	bar	,	timothy	hutton	returns	to	his	massachusetts	hometown	for	a	couple	of	weeks	.	on	the	surface	,	he's	coming	home	for	a	high	school	reunion	,	but	since	this	is	a	movie	,	you	know	that	he's	really	looking	for	some	major	life	decisions	.	a	fairly	"	small	"	film	,	this	sports	an	impressive	ensemble	cast	including	uma	thurman	,	rosie	o'donnell	and	a	bunch	of	actors	that	you've	seen	before	but	can't	quite	place	.	commendable	jobs	all	around	;	they	seem	like	real	people	.	hutton	arrives	at	his	past	and	is	greeted	by	his	spirit	dead	father	,	terminally	goony	brother	and	old	high	school	chums	.	all	of	his	old	buddies	are	engaged	in	the	snow	removal	business	and	most	are	in	the	midst	of	a	relationship	crisis	.	the	perfect	stuff	for	a	comedy	about	people	in	the	twenties	angst	.	he	meets	and	falls	for	the	new	next	door	neighbor	:	a	beautiful	intelligent	lively	girl	who	is	obviously	taken	with	him	.	the	problem	is	that	she	is	only	13	.	unconsummated	(	no	,	it's	not	_	that	_	type	of	movie	)	,	their	relationship	builds	and	neither	knows	what	to	do	with	it	.	star	crossed	lovers	with	no	where	to	go	.	so	hutton	is	gaga	over	a	barely	teen	,	one	of	his	buddies	is	two	timing	his	girlfriend	with	a	married	old	flame	,	another's	girlfriend	is	sleeping	with	a	meat	cutter	(	"	and	she's	a	vegetarian	!	"	)	.	things	are	a	mess	.
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	this	movie	takes	place	over	one	day	.	it's	a	rookie	cop's	narcotics	training	alongside	a	seasoned	police	veteran	.	the	rookie	doesn't	know	much	about	"	street	justice	"	,	so	the	older	cop	teaches	him	about	the	way	things	work	in	the	"	real	world	"	.	how	even	cops	like	themselves	have	to	"	bend	the	rules	"	and	"	break	the	law	"	every	now	and	then	,	in	order	to	catch	the	really	bad	guys	.	critique	:	a	pretty	intense	little	movie	with	solid	acting	across	the	board	,	some	ups	,	some	downs	and	a	thrilling	ending	,	despite	a	couple	of	small	flaws	.	i	really	enjoyed	this	movie	because	it	followed	two	extreme	characters	and	put	them	in	situations	which	had	me	wondering	about	what	i	would	do	if	i	were	in	their	place	.	the	film	gets	right	into	the	"	dirty	"	side	of	,	well	.	.	.	the	dirt	on	the	streets	,	and	proceeds	to	teach	the	rookie	cop	(	and	us	,	the	audience	)	how	things	really	work	down	there	.	of	course	,	we're	receiving	this	lesson	from	a	man	who	has	put	away	a	lot	of	scum	in	his	time	,	but	the	things	he	seems	to	be	doing	aren't	exactly	on	the	up	and	up	either	.	and	therein	,	lies	the	fun	of	the	film	.	do	you	agree	that	you	yourself	would	need	to	break	a	few	small	laws	in	order	to	put	away	the	people	who	break	the	really	big	ones	?	well	,	as	the	film	moves	along	,	we're	given	two	points	of	view	in	respect	to	this	predicament	,	and	to	me	,	both	sides	made	sense	at	some	point	or	another	.	and	you	gotta	give	a	lot	of	credit	to	the	screenplay	for	that	,	the	director	,	who	builds	the	film	up	wonderfully	(	with	the	darkness	of	the	day	leading	to	the	darkness	in	the	script	)	and	the	two	actors	who	deliver	their	parts	in	spades	.	hawke	,	first	off	,	because	he	rarely	plays	these	"	commercial	"	roles	but	does	so	perfectly	here	,	with	a	vulnerable	side	which	has	you	feeling	for	the	bastard	right	off	the	top	.	and	denzel	,	well	,	what	can	you	say	about	mr	.	washington	that	hasn't	already	been	said	before	?	he	comes	through	as	per	his	usual	high	level	style	here	,	and	gives	the	audience	a	completely	different	side	to	his	talent	,	of	which	,	i	personally	would	like	to	see	more	.	he's	nice	,	he's	not	so	nice	,	he's	smart	,	he's	not	so	smart	,	he's	caring	and	he's	a	dog	all	the	way	.	the	few	problems	that	i	did	have	with	this	film	included	the	redundant	nature	of	the	whole	thing	at	some	point	(	okay	,	we	get	it	.	.	.	you	have	to	be	nasty	in	order	to	deal	with	these	nasty	people	.	.	.	move	on	)	and	this	one	really	major	"	coincidence	"	which	involved	a	bathtub	,	that	saved	the	day	for	one	character	,	but	seemed	a	little	too	"	convenient	"	for	my	taste	.	i	also	never	really	understood	how	washington's	character	got	out	of	a	certain	dire	predicament	,	only	to	be	seen	driving	his	car	in	the	very	next	scene	.	but	obviously	these	small	flaws	didn't	taint	my	overall	enjoyment	of	this	tense	drama	,	a	film	that	gets	you	right	into	the	streets	,	into	the	nooks	and	the	crannies	,	and	into	the	moral	dilemma	which	lies	between	the	justice	system	and	the	day	to	day	drug	busts	.	see	it	if	you	want	to	wrestle	with	some	of	these	issues	yourself	,	see	it	if	you	want	to	see	denzel	and	ethan	strike	up	a	palpable	chemistry	on	screen	,	and	see	it	if	you	like	holding	on	to	your	seat	handles	real	tight	during	a	movie	.	in	fact	,	see	it	for	the	scene	in	which	ethan	hawke	plays	cards	with	a	host	of	gang	bangers	alone	.	.	.	dang	,	now	that's	intense	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	the	corruptor	(	7	10	)	crimson	tide	(	9	10	)	l	.	a	.	confidential	(	10	)	lethal	weapon	(	8	10	)	requiem	for	a	dream	(	8	10	)	seven	(	10	10	)	shaft	(	7	10	)	traffic	(	8	10	)
pos	director	:	george	armitage	cast	:	john	cusack	,	minnie	driver	,	dan	ackroyd	and	others	the	nice	but	somewhat	strange	martin	blank	(	john	cusack	)	has	an	uncommon	profession	.	his	nice	clean	office	with	secretary	soon	turns	out	to	be	a	flourishing	killer	agency	.	but	although	the	hitman	business	is	going	well	martin	has	problems	.	they	are	of	a	more	personal	nature	and	he	regularly	stretches	out	on	a	therapist's	couch	to	solve	them	.	the	therapy	comes	to	an	abrupt	end	when	he	finds	out	that	all	his	therapist's	book	that	he	admired	so	much	where	written	by	a	ghost	writer	.	nevertheless	he	lets	this	psychoterrorist	who	has	severe	problems	himself	talk	him	into	attending	his	high	school	reunion	at	grosse	pointe	,	michigan	.	by	doing	this	he	combines	business	and	pleasure	for	his	next	contract	is	taking	him	there	anyway	.	moreover	a	visit	to	his	hometown	gives	him	the	opportunity	to	meet	his	high	school	sweetheart	debi	(	minnie	driver	)	whom	he	left	without	saying	good	bye	ten	years	ago	.	unfortunately	things	don't	go	according	to	plan	because	there's	a	hitman	going	after	martin	as	well	.	the	sleepy	little	town	is	in	for	one	hell	of	a	ride	.	john	cusack	who	wasn't	able	to	show	his	talent	in	this	year's	blockbuster	'con	air'	can	do	so	now	.	he	is	very	convincing	as	the	troubled	killer	who	justifies	his	deeds	by	pointing	out	that	he	never	kills	innocent	people	.	his	methods	are	just	as	extravagant	as	his	personality	.	it	doesn't	always	have	to	be	a	gun	,	does	it	?	the	president	of	paraguay	e	.	g	.	was	killed	with	a	fork	.	you	have	to	be	creative	in	a	job	that	doesn't	require	a	college	degree	,	much	less	a	ph	.	d	.	tom	jankewicz	seasoned	the	script	with	a	healthy	dose	of	black	humor	to	prevent	it	from	being	just	another	big	gunfight	and	thus	defuses	the	more	brutal	scenes	.	he	doesn't	quite	reach	the	skillfullness	of	the	coen	brothers	but	the	dialogues	and	the	funny	situations	stop	the	viewers	from	thinking	about	the	fact	that	many	people	are	killed	in	this	movie	.	e	.	g	.	in	the	scene	when	martin	has	to	kill	one	of	the	hitmen	that	try	to	kill	him	in	a	corridor	of	his	old	high	school	during	the	reunion	dance	.	with	the	help	of	a	friend	he	wraps	the	body	in	a	piece	of	decoration	and	burns	it	in	the	school's	furnace	.	the	attentive	viewer	asks	him	or	herself	where	the	big	bloodstain	in	the	corridor	has	gone	and	why	there	are	no	other	bloody	marks	.	the	coens	wouldn't	have	let	this	happen	.	on	the	down	side	are	once	again	the	female	parts	.	they	remain	one	dimensional	as	usual	.	here	they	are	secretaries	(	joan	cusack	)	or	ex	sweethearts	(	minnie	driver	)	.	especially	debi's	part	could	have	been	better	.	debi	who	is	a	dj	with	her	own	call	in	radio	show	doesn't	hesitate	to	embarass	her	former	lover	in	public	asking	her	audience	whether	she	should	give	him	a	second	chance	after	ten	years	.	martin	watches	this	in	horror	and	can't	believe	the	punishments	the	callers	suggest	.	unfortunately	that's	minnie	driver's	only	good	scene	.	a	big	plus	is	dan	ackroyd	as	professional	killer	grocer	whose	job	it	is	to	kill	martin	.	their	exchanges	are	a	joy	to	watch	for	every	lover	of	bizarre	humor	.	grosse	pointe	blank	has	too	many	loose	ends	and	boring	parts	to	be	a	masterpiece	,	but	it	makes	a	nice	change	to	watch	it	in	between	blockbusters	.	sense	of	(	very	)	black	humor	required	.
pos	primary	colors	1	2	produced	and	directed	by	mike	nichols	.	written	by	elaine	may	,	based	on	the	novel	by	anonymous	.	photography	,	michael	ballhaus	.	editing	,	arthur	schmidt	.	production	design	,	bo	welch	.	music	,	ry	cooder	.	cast	:	john	travolta	(	gov	.	jack	stanton	)	,	emma	thompson	(	susan	stanton	)	,	adrian	lester	(	henry	burton	)	,	billy	bob	thornton	(	richard	jemmons	)	,	kathy	bates	(	libby	holden	)	,	maura	tierney	(	daisy	green	)	,	larry	hagman	(	freddy	picker	)	,	paul	guilfoyle	(	howard	ferguson	)	,	caroline	aaron	(	lucille	kaufman	)	,	rebecca	walker	(	march	cunningham	)	,	mykelti	williamson	(	the	illiterate	man	)	,	et	al	.	a	universal	pictures	release	.	142	minutes	.	rated	r	(	language	,	sex	)	some	day	in	afghanistan	,	when	they	start	showing	films	again	and	import	"	primary	colors	,	"	most	viewers	will	make	neither	heads	or	tails	of	it	.	perhaps	a	mere	handful	of	afghans	will	see	it	as	a	movie	on	the	clintons	.	more	,	but	still	few	viewers	never	mind	the	sty	in	their	eye	will	think	it	is	about	the	corrupt	american	electoral	system	and	its	strategies	.	it	would	be	good	if	the	american	public	could	appreciate	the	movie	both	as	clintonesque	and	as	a	kind	of	docu	drama	of	our	politics	,	instead	of	the	just	the	former	,	which	is	the	majority	perception	.	the	fact	is	that	"	primary	colors	"	is	the	filmization	of	the	eponymous	novel	by	former	newsweek	writer	joe	klein	,	published	with	"	anonymous	"	as	the	author	.	klein	,	immediately	suspected	,	at	first	denied	,	eventually	'fessed	up	.	the	book	was	a	"	roman	a	clef	,	"	(	which	means	"	a	novel	with	a	key	"	in	french	)	,	the	kind	that	shows	historical	facts	and	real	people	but	disguised	as	fiction	.	the	fiction	is	generally	tricky	so	that	the	readers	have	to	solve	puzzles	of	identification	.	the	faithful	(	with	some	excisions	)	movie	version	is	a	"	film	a	clef	,	"	but	both	incarnations	are	so	transparent	that	they're	not	really	very	clef	.	john	travolta	plays	the	democratic	governor	of	an	unnamed	southern	state	.	his	nom	de	film	is	jack	stanton	,	jack	as	in	kennedy	,	stanton	as	in	clinton	.	he	is	running	in	the	presidential	primaries	.	his	wife	susan	(	emma	thompson	)	is	at	his	side	,	and	she's	a	damn	good	campaigner	and	adviser	.	to	stanton's	staff	initially	one	of	dedicated	amateurs	is	added	the	young	idealist	henry	burton	who	wants	to	be	part	of	history	,	and	about	whose	late	grandfather	(	someone	like	martin	luther	king	)	everyone	gushes	.	stantonites	include	spin	doctor	southerner	richard	jemmons	,	cute	daisy	green	,	troubleshooter	fixer	libby	holden	,	and	others	.	jack	and	susan	are	"	constructed	"	to	look	and	sound	as	humanly	as	possible	like	bill	and	hillary	clinton	.	henry	burton	,	an	african	american	,	is	derived	from	george	stephanopoulos	(	and	played	by	a	brit	)	a	clever	move	because	stephanopoulos	is	greek	american	,	hence	,	in	terms	of	politics	,	a	member	of	a	minority	,	and	henry	is	also	a	member	of	a	minority	.	even	more	than	stephanopoulos	,	he	reinforces	the	aura	of	an	all	inclusive	,	non	racist	entourage	.	(	it	also	helps	to	get	more	black	votes	,	of	course	)	.	as	jemmons	,	billy	bob	thornton	is	a	projection	of	james	carville	.	and	so	on	,	down	the	line	.	the	film's	opening	is	an	inspired	,	funny	visual	and	aural	essay	on	the	variety	of	hand	shakes	the	governor	uses	.	it	would	stand	by	itself	as	a	prize	winning	short	.	then	the	portrait	of	jack	is	expanded	,	amplified	and	constantly	added	to	.	the	man	is	a	consummate	politico	who	can	pretend	,	manipulate	,	cajole	,	inspire	,	move	,	cheat	,	you	name	it	,	he	can	do	it	.	in	his	first	dramatic	appearance	,	in	a	new	york	school	where	he	encourages	minority	adults	to	get	an	education	,	stanton	follows	the	sad	tale	of	a	black	man	whom	illiteracy	has	seriously	damaged	,	raptly	and	with	swelling	tear	ducts	.	he	segues	with	the	heartbreaking	story	of	his	own	uncle	,	a	congressional	medal	of	honor	winner	who	refused	all	school	scholarships	or	civilian	offers	,	because	that	was	his	shameful	secret	he	too	was	illiterate	.	jack	concludes	with	a	moving	and	realistic	paean	of	education	.	now	here's	a	candidate	who	knows	how	to	listen	,	who	has	sensible	ideas	,	who	understands	the	hurt	of	others	.	but	hold	on	!	the	uncle	yarn	will	turn	out	to	be	pure	invention	.	hold	on	again	!	if	quick	change	artist	stanton	can	lie	like	,	well	,	a	politician	,	he	can	also	feel	for	other	people	.	that's	what	makes	jack	such	a	complex	,	multi	layered	fellow	,	and	that's	what	the	movie	captures	with	amazing	accuracy	.	this	goes	well	beyond	the	simple	jekyll	hyde	transformation	and	into	a	far	more	devious	and	complicated	character	.	jack	has	the	searching	eye	of	a	ladies'	man	eye	and	a	high	level	of	testosterone	.	in	his	case	as	in	others	,	those	traits	can	be	inseparable	from	other	talents	.	it's	one	big	ball	of	wax	.	i	wager	that	the	name	"	jack	"	was	chosen	to	evoke	jfk	,	not	only	for	fast	thinking	one	one's	feet	but	for	sexual	shenanigans	too	.	just	being	next	to	stanton	flusters	so	much	the	new	york	teacher	who	hosted	the	meeting	that	she	keeps	stumbling	on	stairs	.	she	later	comes	out	of	jack's	bedroom	,	while	the	governor	does	not	even	blink	as	his	helpers	,	assembled	in	the	hotel	suite	,	watch	her	exit	.	nerves	of	steel	?	nerve	?	both	.	the	complexity	,	which	extends	to	most	other	aspects	of	the	movie	,	makes	"	titanic	"	look	like	child's	play	,	save	for	the	specials	effects	.	the	"	pc	"	director	and	writer	are	the	once	famous	cabaret	type	duo	of	nichols	and	may	who	,	separated	for	years	,	were	reunited	on	the	stage	,	then	for	the	film	"	the	birdcage	.	"	both	are	devilishly	talented	.	i	bet	they	hurried	to	finish	"	pc	"	while	the	presidential	hubbub	was	at	its	then	apex	.	i	also	bet	that	they	wished	the	film	could	have	come	out	in	the	fall	of	1998	,	since	that's	when	the	likeliest	oscar	candidates	will	be	released	.	while	at	today's	date	(	late	march	1998	)	,	"	pc	"	leads	the	pack	by	light	years	,	the	memory	of	voting	academy	members	almost	always	disfavors	pre	summer	releases	.	back	to	henry	,	who	is	inducted	in	jack's	ranks	in	a	whirlwind	recruitment	.	in	"	pc	"	we	follow	everyone	,	but	it	is	henry	whom	we	watch	as	the	nearly	always	present	thread	,	and	as	though	he	were	the	chorus	of	an	ancient	greek	play	.	it	is	his	actions	,	observations	,	reactions	and	reactions	to	reactions	that	make	us	,	the	audience	,	identify	with	this	decent	,	able	and	likable	young	man	.	henry	takes	us	everywhere	,	to	the	mechanisms	,	agonies	and	ecstasies	of	campaigning	,	including	the	new	hampshire	primary	that	ends	with	jack	in	second	place	(	to	general	jubilation	)	well	after	the	story's	mid	point	.	much	,	if	not	most	of	the	plot	deals	with	the	staff	having	to	counter	rumors	,	accusations	or	sometimes	deliberate	lies	,	and	what	seems	to	be	a	severe	case	of	satyriasis	(	that's	the	don	juan	syndrome	,	the	male	equivalent	of	nymphomania	)	.	among	them	is	a	phone	call	that	incriminates	jack	as	he	talks	sex	with	a	hairdresser	deliciously	named	cashmere	mcleod	.	to	the	rescue	comes	gun	toting	old	pal	libby	(	kathy	bates	)	who	seems	to	know	everything	and	everyone	and	is	wise	to	the	age	of	electronics	.	more	,	i	cannot	divulge	.	the	movie	is	fast	,	elliptical	,	humorous	,	amusing	.	it	is	also	raunchy	in	speech	,	acts	and	behavior	.	as	a	farce	,	it	is	amoral	,	immoral	,	cynical	and	very	funny	.	as	an	expose	of	political	animals	it	has	wild	moments	and	touching	moments	.	it	peeks	with	savvy	into	the	exhausting	process	of	running	for	office	,	the	higher	the	office	,	the	more	killing	the	effort	.	it	pulls	no	punches	,	but	understands	jack	stanton	,	warts	and	all	.	there's	a	magnificent	night	scene	,	the	culmination	of	the	collaboration	between	director	,	writer	,	set	designer	and	the	master	cinematographer	michael	ballhaus	.	the	camera	pulls	in	doughnut	fancier	jack	sitting	across	the	street	in	a	glassed	in	a	doughnut	shop	,	chatting	with	true	sympathy	and	empathy	with	the	lone	,	gimpy	employee	.	it's	a	rare	,	quiet	interlude	,	an	edward	hopper	moment	of	isolation	,	except	that	jack's	presence	promises	some	hope	for	the	proletarian	employee	.	it	is	also	a	moving	moment	of	epiphany	for	stanton	.	and	it	justifies	another	scene	:	as	billy	bob	is	quitting	his	job	(	he'll	come	back	)	,	he	takes	his	leave	of	henry	,	asks	him	to	stick	with	jack	.	"	this	one's	worth	it	.	"	a	speech	to	laid	off	workers	,	from	the	heart	and	with	no	b	.	s	.	is	as	good	as	anything	frank	capra	ever	did	,	and	far	more	believable	.	events	that	involve	talk	show	hosts	larry	king	,	charlie	rose	,	geraldo	rivera	,	bill	maher	(	as	themselves	)	,	or	rob	reiner	(	as	izzy	rosenblatt	)	,	keep	hitting	the	mark	.	the	reiner	episode	catalyzes	changes	that	will	affect	jack's	rival	candidate	.	this	sets	in	motion	a	crazy	yet	believable	chain	that	ends	up	involving	ex	florida	governor	picker	(	larry	hagman	)	,	who	is	the	soul	of	decency	but	has	a	secret	.	hagman	underacts	with	admirable	control	,	at	the	opposite	pole	of	his	famous	"	dallas	"	performances	on	tv	.	which	brings	me	to	the	performers	.	they	are	a	superb	(	and	superbly	cast	)	cast	.	as	susan	stanton	,	emma	thompson	has	a	number	of	choice	scenes	with	terse	and	fast	dialogue	as	well	as	reactions	.	she	is	attractive	,	at	times	seductive	,	even	sexy	.	henry	is	endearing	.	libby	is	a	great	,	bossy	,	volcanic	strategist	with	pit	bull	determination	,	yet	i	have	a	feeling	that	her	part	is	a	bit	overdone	,	not	in	acting	but	in	her	skills	.	nor	am	i	too	convinced	by	the	final	episode	that	concerns	libby	.	(	no	,	i	won't	give	it	away	.	this	is	,	after	all	,	also	a	political	thriller	)	.	then	there's	travolta	,	that	lazarus	of	actors	who	came	back	from	the	dead	with	"	pulp	fiction	.	"	he	does	very	well	,	yet	if	you	expect	a	total	impersonation	of	bill	clinton	you	simply	won't	get	it	.	you	might	have	,	in	a	stage	play	.	but	in	a	film	,	with	its	merciless	close	ups	,	travolta	can	only	be	a	semi	clinton	.	there's	common	agreement	that	the	real	president	is	as	smart	as	they	come	,	a	well	educated	thinker	doer	.	i'm	not	swayed	by	his	rhodes	scholarship	since	many	scholars	,	even	famous	ones	,	are	really	duds	.	still	,	the	real	clinton	leaves	no	doubts	about	his	native	intelligence	.	travolta	can	be	a	very	fine	actor	.	he	gives	a	striking	,	cunning	performance	,	but	he	cannot	change	his	spots	.	if	you	don't	allow	jack	his	very	own	personality	;	if	you	concentrate	on	the	clinton	stanton	parallels	to	the	detriment	of	the	bigger	picture	;	if	you	search	for	convincing	clintonisms	,	no	matter	what	travolta	does	,	he	does	not	exactly	radiate	with	brains	.	in	any	case	,	directors	and	witers	have	to	be	intelligent	,	but	thespians	don't	,	so	long	as	they	have	talent	.	there's	no	denying	that	a	person	with	jack's	characteristics	could	be	a	governor	or	president	.	or	become	a	hollywood	star	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	director	:	jim	sheridan	writers	:	jim	sheridan	and	terry	george	starring	:	daniel	day	lewis	,	emily	watson	,	brian	cox	,	ken	stott	,	gerard	mcsorley	,	ciaran	fitzgerald	,	elanor	methaven	,	kenneth	cranham	contrary	to	the	title	,	"	the	boxer	"	is	not	another	rocky	story	only	this	time	spliced	with	some	cold	hard	politics	.	it's	actually	three	movies	in	one	:	a	political	film	,	a	boxing	film	,	and	a	love	story	.	all	of	these	work	in	their	own	respects	and	have	some	pretty	decent	balancing	betwixt	the	three	elements	of	the	story	,	but	somehow	it	seems	kind	of	cliched	and	unoriginal	.	we've	seen	it	all	before	,	and	we're	just	not	blown	away	with	it	like	we	should	be	.	oh	well	.	it's	still	an	excellent	irish	story	.	"	the	boxer	"	of	the	title	is	danny	flynn	(	jim	sheridan	staple	daniel	day	lewis	)	,	an	ex	ira	member	who	gets	out	of	a	belfast	prison	after	14	years	,	and	finds	out	that	his	troubles	are	far	from	over	.	first	off	,	the	ira	is	having	a	small	civil	war	between	its	leader	joe	hamill	(	brian	cox	)	,	and	one	of	its	sub	leaders	,	harry	(	gerard	mcsorley	)	,	both	having	opposing	views	on	getting	many	of	their	members	out	of	jail	.	while	this	is	going	on	,	danny	and	his	old	drunkard	buddie	,	ike	(	ken	stott	,	who	played	the	chief	inspector	in	danny	boyle's	"	shallow	grave	"	)	,	re	open	an	old	gym	which	allows	the	two	opposing	religios	sects	,	protestant	and	catholics	,	to	work	together	.	danny	not	only	begins	teaching	kids	how	to	box	,	but	has	stayed	in	great	shape	whilst	in	prison	,	and	is	ready	to	start	boxing	real	people	again	.	and	danny	runs	into	his	ex	love	,	maggie	(	"	breaking	the	waves	"	's	emily	watson	)	,	who	hasn't	seen	him	since	he	went	in	.	they	don't	easily	start	up	their	romance	again	because	she's	the	wife	of	a	prisoner	whom	she	married	during	danny's	tenure	in	prison	,	and	also	has	a	son	,	liam	(	ciaran	fitzgerald	)	,	from	him	,	whom	liam	is	hoping	will	get	out	soon	.	but	the	two	are	slowly	re	drawn	to	eachother	again	,	and	this	begins	to	complicate	things	.	the	political	story	is	nothing	really	special	but	works	in	itself	.	we've	seen	it	many	a	time	before	,	but	it's	at	least	interesting	,	sometimes	emotional	,	and	even	riveting	at	times	.	there's	a	big	riot	towards	the	middle	of	the	film	which	is	frightening	in	its	brutality	and	honesty	.	the	boxing	story	is	very	minor	to	the	story	,	but	does	represent	people	coming	together	to	fight	eachother	fairly	,	and	even	with	good	sportsmanship	.	there	are	only	a	few	boxing	scenes	,	but	they're	never	like	"	raging	bull	"	let's	strip	down	the	sport	to	its	bones	brilliant	.	they're	more	realistic	,	and	instead	of	bone	crunching	,	we	hear	the	sound	of	the	gloves	hitting	eachother	,	which	is	slightly	unerving	at	times	.	and	i	didn't	know	daniel	day	lewis	was	in	such	good	shape	.	but	the	backbone	of	the	story	is	the	love	one	.	because	these	characters	are	given	such	horrible	circumstances	,	and	since	the	two	leads	have	such	great	chemistry	together	,	we	really	feel	for	their	plight	.	as	the	film	goes	on	,	and	circumstances	get	worse	and	worse	,	the	characters	have	to	make	real	human	decisions	,	and	we	can	sympathize	with	them	as	humans	not	characters	.	this	is	how	you	write	a	love	story	take	note	,	hollywood	.	these	elements	are	pretty	much	equally	balanced	,	with	each	of	the	parts	of	the	stories	working	hand	in	hand	with	eachother	.	i	loved	how	each	of	the	different	parts	of	the	plot	mattered	,	and	sometimes	spilled	over	into	the	next	.	it	made	sure	that	we	didn't	just	care	for	one	of	them	.	i'm	not	saying	they're	all	equally	great	,	because	the	love	story	really	carries	the	film	,	but	at	least	they	all	work	out	respectively	.	the	acting	is	amazing	,	with	day	lewis	and	watson	giving	excellent	performances	and	showing	great	chemistry	.	i'm	not	sure	if	they're	oscar	nominee	bound	,	but	they're	very	good	.	in	the	supporting	roles	,	billy	cox	is	greatly	sympathetic	as	the	ira	leader	losing	control	of	his	daughter	and	his	workers	.	but	the	film	is	stolen	acting	wise	by	ken	stott	as	ike	,	who	is	just	a	great	scene	stealer	.	the	direction	and	co	writing	by	jim	sheridan	(	with	the	other	co	writing	credit	going	to	terry	george	)	is	excellent	,	rounding	out	the	characters	well	,	but	not	pacing	everything	greatly	.	i	noticed	that	the	first	half	was	very	leisurely	(	yet	fascinating	)	,	but	the	second	half	whirls	by	at	a	quick	pace	,	and	ends	much	too	quickly	.	more	time	could	have	been	spent	thinking	up	the	ending	,	since	it	does	seem	quite	sloppy	.	though	"	the	boxer	"	is	a	good	film	,	it	never	achieves	the	greatness	that	it	should	.	sure	,	it's	a	masterpiece	compared	to	most	of	the	hollywood	drivel	we	usually	get	,	but	on	it's	own	,	it	just	could	have	been	better	.	but	it	still	works	out	,	gives	us	a	great	love	story	combined	with	a	political	and	boxing	drama	,	and	features	great	acting	.	even	if	it	could	have	been	better	,	this'll	do	.
pos	review	by	lars	lindahl	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	larsattacks	mail	.	com	"	larsattacks	mail	.	com	a	)	starring	matthew	mcconaughey	,	harvey	keitel	,	jon	bon	jovi	,	bill	paxton	,	erik	palladino	,	tom	guiry	,	t	.	c	.	carson	,	david	keith	,	jake	weber	,	jack	noseworthy	,	matthew	settle	,	will	estes	,	and	dave	power	.	i	had	lost	all	faith	in	pg	13	movies	that	are	intended	for	teenagers	and	adults	.	the	last	dozen	or	so	that	i	have	seen	have	all	felt	incomplete	,	as	if	the	most	crucial	scene	was	deleted	in	order	to	obtain	a	more	lucrative	rating	.	however	,	after	seeing	the	creative	frequency	last	week	and	now	the	exciting	u	571	,	my	bias	is	beginning	to	go	away	.	both	films	are	as	innocuous	for	younger	viewers	as	they	are	intellectual	for	older	viewers	.	even	better	,	i	didn't	think	either	one	of	these	films	would	be	any	good	from	first	instincts	.	everyone	loves	surprises	.	u	571	looked	like	another	action	film	using	an	actual	war	as	an	excuse	to	shoot	torpedoes	and	bullets	.	this	may	be	true	,	but	the	action	is	so	extraordinary	that	it	is	clear	director	co	writer	jonathan	mostow	completed	his	ultimate	goal	;	to	blow	the	audience's	socks	off	.	set	during	the	early	stages	of	world	war	2	when	the	united	states	struggled	to	break	the	codes	of	the	technologically	advanced	german	u	boats	,	u	571	follows	a	small	crew	of	american	men	who	swipe	the	typewriter	necessary	to	solve	the	enigma	from	an	enemy	ship	.	there's	only	one	problem	:	the	american	ship	they	came	from	and	hoped	to	return	to	has	been	shot	down	stranding	the	men	on	a	german	submarine	known	as	(	you	guessed	it	)	u	571	.	it	is	now	up	to	the	mostly	young	and	inexperienced	sailors	,	led	by	an	interim	captain	named	tyler	(	matthew	mcconaughey	)	,	to	return	the	typewriter	to	america	without	getting	sunk	by	far	superior	german	ships	.	the	film	starts	off	very	slowly	with	a	somewhat	weak	opening	action	sequence	and	another	uneventful	half	an	hour	to	introduce	several	of	the	sailors	(	most	of	whom	die	when	the	mission	goes	awry	or	just	inexplicably	disappear	)	.	once	the	crew	gets	on	the	u	boat	,	the	movie	shifts	to	another	level	and	never	leaves	this	high	energy	level	until	the	ending	credits	roll	down	.	as	soon	as	the	action	starts	,	it	does	not	stop	and	luckily	,	because	it	is	so	exciting	,	i	didn't	want	it	to	stop	.	this	is	not	a	movie	for	those	wanting	to	avoid	loud	noises	,	from	the	wonderful	,	heart	pounding	score	to	the	constant	yelling	of	panicking	men	,	make	sure	you	see	this	at	a	theater	with	surround	soundotherwise	,	do	not	see	it	all	.	the	best	parts	of	u	571	are	when	tyler	is	forced	to	make	impromptu	decisions	on	how	to	escape	seemingly	impossible	situations	.	throughout	the	movie	,	several	morals	or	characters	are	introduced	to	make	tyler's	job	as	stressful	as	possible	.	germans	gun	down	their	own	men	,	tyler's	mentor	captain	dahlgren	warns	him	that	a	captain	has	to	be	prepared	to	sacrifice	even	the	most	beloved	soldiers	for	a	victory	,	another	sailor	(	erik	palladino	)	threatens	mutiny	.	all	of	these	examples	,	and	several	others	,	increase	the	chaotic	atmosphere	and	the	importance	of	tyler's	every	move	.	they	also	make	u	571	one	of	the	most	exhilarating	movies	i	have	seen	in	a	while	.
pos	rating	:	1	2	out	of	8	.	0	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	matthew	modine	(	private	joker	)	,	adam	baldwin	(	animal	mother	)	,	vincent	d'onofrio	(	private	leonard	'gomer	pyle'	)	,	r	.	lee	ermey	(	sgt	.	hartman	)	,	dorian	harewood	(	eightball	)	,	arliss	howard	(	cowboy	)	director	:	stanley	kubrick	certification	:	r	(	usa	)	for	language	and	violence	year	of	production	:	1987	academy	award	nominations	:	best	adapted	screenplay	(	kubrick	,	michael	herr	,	and	gustav	hasford	)	full	metal	jacket	,	very	much	like	every	other	hard	hitting	film	about	the	vietnam	war	,	is	an	shocking	,	emotional	depiction	of	the	war	that	effected	almost	everyone	in	america	.	this	film	is	more	like	platoon	than	any	other	in	the	way	that	it	chronicles	the	struggles	of	a	young	man	(	private	joker	,	played	by	matthew	modine	)	during	his	tour	in	the	vietnam	war	.	however	,	full	metal	jacket	gives	the	audience	an	insight	into	combat	life	very	rarely	seen	before	:	boot	camp	.	these	sequences	are	considered	to	be	the	best	part	in	this	three	act	film	,	even	though	i	found	the	later	portions	to	be	equally	stunning	.	as	in	platoon	,	full	metal	jacket	gets	off	to	a	quick	start	.	the	opening	sequence	is	the	initiation	for	the	recruits	,	which	is	getting	their	heads	shaved	.	from	there	,	they	find	themselves	standing	at	attention	and	receiving	their	orders	from	the	extremely	hard	and	punishing	sergeant	hartman	,	played	extremely	well	by	the	former	drill	instructor	r	.	lee	ermey	.	apparently	,	the	solution	was	found	for	the	perfect	man	to	play	a	drill	instructor	in	the	movies	,	because	ermey	depicts	his	character	extremely	well	and	will	make	you	thank	whomever	that	you	were	never	subjected	to	such	horrible	situations	.	private	joker	gets	off	on	the	wrong	foot	with	the	sergeant	,	as	does	the	large	bodied	private	leonard	lawrence	(	vincent	d'onofrio	)	,	whom	is	dubbed	'gomer	pyle'	by	sgt	.	hartman	.	the	film	is	continually	narrated	by	private	joker	,	in	which	he	explains	his	visions	on	what	is	going	on	.	the	entire	corps	,	although	repeatedly	hammered	by	sgt	.	hartman	,	continues	on	.	private	pyle	,	however	,	seems	to	be	the	rag	doll	for	the	drill	instructor	.	he	continually	absorbs	the	worst	punishment	and	humiliation	,	and	it	basically	does	not	stop	.	that	is	,	until	sgt	.	hartman	comes	up	with	a	new	plan	.	he	will	punish	the	rest	of	the	soon	to	be	marines	for	pyle's	goof	ups	,	even	after	joker	was	assigned	to	help	him	out	in	the	best	way	he	can	.	pyle	then	receives	punishment	from	his	fellow	recruits	,	and	things	take	a	turn	for	the	worst	.	pyle	proves	that	not	everyone	is	emotionally	,	physically	,	and	mentally	cut	out	for	the	life	of	a	marine	.	after	graduation	,	joker	is	sent	over	to	the	height	of	the	action	in	order	to	document	the	war	,	which	is	his	service	.	he	is	not	a	member	of	the	infantry	,	and	it	is	unclear	if	he	will	ever	actually	find	himself	in	combat	.	when	he	sets	out	on	a	documenting	mission	,	this	question	becomes	very	clear	from	the	start	.	joker	joins	up	with	a	platoon	,	along	with	his	hometown	friend	cowboy	(	arliss	howard	)	,	and	follows	their	everyday	actions	,	interviewing	and	filmming	them	along	the	way	.	he	also	soon	finds	himself	in	a	position	in	which	he	must	fight	,	or	die	.	again	,	as	in	the	tradition	of	vietnam	war	films	,	full	metal	jacket	can	be	debated	as	to	whether	it	is	an	anti	war	film	or	not	.	a	few	of	the	more	powerful	scenes	toward	the	end	will	leave	you	to	decide	.	full	metal	jacket	succeeds	extremely	well	in	documenting	the	life	of	a	young	man	in	vietnam	,	as	have	others	in	the	past	.	this	film	,	in	different	ways	,	also	can	be	viewed	as	more	powerful	than	others	.	that	,	again	,	is	up	for	debate	and	depends	on	your	opinion	.	one	thing	is	for	sure	,	however	;	no	one	ever	wants	to	experience	the	absolute	hell	that	these	soldiers	are	subjected	to	.	unfortunately	,	many	did	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	mighty	joe	young	(	pg	)	.	(	walt	disney	pictures	rko	buena	vista	international	)	director	:	ron	underwood	stars	:	bill	paxton	,	charlize	theron	,	rade	serbedzija	,	peter	firth	,	david	paymer	,	regina	king	,	naveen	andrews	,	lawrence	pressman	,	linda	purl	.	the	original	mighty	joe	young	,	produced	in	1949	,	was	politely	regarded	as	something	of	a	distant	cousin	to	king	kong	.	this	entertaining	and	environmentally	friendly	49	million	disney	remake	softens	the	action	to	make	the	movie	more	palatable	for	family	audiences	,	while	retaining	something	of	a	deliberately	old	fashioned	flavour	.	for	those	interested	in	useless	trivia	,	the	original	mighty	joe	young	is	the	only	movie	to	have	been	directed	by	a	legally	blind	person	.	director	ernest	b	schoedsack	lost	his	sight	during	w	.	w	.	ii	,	and	could	only	see	blurred	movement	.	an	assistant	director	told	him	what	was	happening	on	the	set	.	taking	advantage	of	more	sophisticated	technology	,	director	ron	underwood	(	tremors	,	etc	)	also	improves	upon	the	original	,	even	though	it	ultimately	ends	up	being	something	of	a	lukewarm	cross	between	gorillas	in	the	mist	and	king	kong	.	oscar	winning	effects	designer	rick	baker	(	incidentally	,	the	man	inside	the	gorilla	suit	in	john	guillerman's	1976	remake	of	king	kong	)	has	created	a	life	like	and	realistic	gorilla	who	interacts	beautifully	with	his	human	co	stars	.	joe	,	the	20	foot	gorilla	,	is	portrayed	here	as	quite	loveable	,	and	ensures	that	audience	sympathy	is	with	him	all	the	way	.	the	climax	,	in	which	joe	rescues	a	young	boy	trapped	on	a	blazing	ferris	wheel	,	is	awash	in	mawkish	sentimentality	,	and	threatens	to	unbalance	the	movie	.	jill	young	(	charlize	theron	,	from	the	devil's	advocate	,	etc	)	has	grown	up	as	a	wild	child	of	the	jungle	.	she	and	the	gorilla	joe	share	a	life	shaped	by	tragedy	.	twelve	years	earlier	they	both	lost	their	mothers	to	the	villainous	poacher	strasser	(	rade	serbedzija	,	from	the	saint	,	etc	)	.	ever	since	,	jill	has	protected	joe	from	the	dangers	represented	by	man	,	hiding	him	away	from	the	rapidly	encroaching	modern	world	.	one	day	he	is	discovered	by	gregg	o'hara	(	bill	paxton	,	from	titanic	,	etc	)	,	a	scientist	who	traps	animals	for	a	nature	conservatory	in	los	angeles	.	o'hara	eventually	convinces	jill	that	the	safest	place	for	joe	is	in	the	preserve	,	where	he	will	be	protected	from	poachers	.	joe	initially	reacts	badly	to	being	displaced	from	his	jungle	home	,	but	soon	settles	down	as	jill	watches	over	him	.	all	goes	well	,	and	joe	becomes	the	conservatory's	biggest	attraction	.	then	strasser	returns	to	resolve	unfinished	business	.	joe	escapes	strasser's	clutches	,	and	runs	amok	through	the	streets	of	la	,	climbing	over	familiar	landmarks	such	as	mann's	chinese	theatre	and	the	hollywood	sign	.	there	is	plenty	of	action	as	joe	is	pursued	through	the	streets	and	sewers	of	la	by	helicopters	.	these	sequences	are	more	genuinely	exciting	that	the	recent	godzilla	,	in	which	much	of	the	action	was	murkily	shot	.	the	computer	generated	special	effects	are	superb	,	although	they	do	not	detract	from	the	more	human	elements	of	the	story	.	younger	audiences	may	find	themselves	a	little	bored	with	the	developing	romance	between	o'hara	and	jill	,	and	the	pace	is	a	little	slow	until	joe	escapes	into	la	.	characterisation	is	pretty	one	dimensional	,	although	the	performances	overcome	many	of	the	limitations	of	the	formulaic	and	predictable	script	.	an	always	likeable	and	solid	actor	,	paxton	brings	plenty	of	charm	and	sincerity	to	his	role	here	.	special	effects	creator	ray	harryhausen	,	who	designed	the	oscar	winning	stop	motion	effects	for	the	original	,	and	actress	terry	moore	,	who	starred	in	the	1949	version	,	both	contribute	brief	cameos	here	.	this	modern	reworking	of	mighty	joe	young	is	quite	an	exciting	and	entertaining	adventure	,	ideal	family	viewing	for	the	holiday	season	.
pos	rated	pg	13	starring	glenn	close	,	julianne	moore	,	liv	tyler	,	chris	o'donnell	,	charles	dutton	,	patricia	neal	,	ned	beatty	,	courtney	b	.	vance	,	donald	moffat	,	lyle	lovett	written	by	anne	rapp	directed	by	robert	altman	robert	altman	has	earned	his	reputation	as	one	of	america's	most	distinguished	filmmakers	.	he	has	made	war	films	(	mash	)	,	historical	dramas	(	vincent	theo	)	and	legal	thrillers	(	the	gingerbread	man	)	.	but	this	time	around	,	he	has	directed	cookie's	fortune	,	a	hilarious	and	quirky	dark	comedy	that	opened	1999's	sundance	film	festival	.	first	time	writer	anne	rapp	wrote	this	kinda	sorta	murder	mystery	that	slightly	echoes	the	coen	brothers'	fargo	and	david	dobkin's	clay	pigeons	.	what	is	kind	of	ironic	about	cookie's	fortune	is	that	15	minutes	into	the	movie	,	we	know	who	commited	the	murder	and	how	,	and	during	the	course	of	the	film	we	are	watching	the	citizens	of	a	small	town	called	holly	springs	try	to	figure	out	what	it	going	on	.	willis	richland	(	charles	dutton	)	has	noticed	that	cookie	(	patricia	neal	)	,	an	old	lady	whom	he	cares	for	,	has	started	acting	a	trifle	odd	.	one	day	,	when	he	goes	out	to	run	a	few	errands	,	cookie	commits	suicide	to	finally	reunite	with	her	dead	husband	.	unfortunately	,	the	first	to	arrive	at	her	home	is	camille	(	glenn	close	)	,	a	quirky	relative	who	has	come	to	fetch	a	salad	bowl	.	she	notices	that	cookie	isn't	answering	her	,	so	she	goes	upstairs	to	find	cookie	dead	,	the	gun	in	her	hand	.	camille's	dimwitted	sister	,	cora	,	wanders	inside	and	also	sees	what	has	happened	.	"	cookie	did	not	commit	suicide	,	"	camille	assures	her	.	"	only	crazy	folks	commit	suicide	.	"	camille	,	for	reasons	unknown	to	anyone	except	for	her	,	wants	to	prove	that	her	family	isn't	crazy	,	so	she	tries	to	pass	off	cookie's	suicide	as	a	murder	.	she	goes	through	all	the	steps	trying	to	make	it	seem	like	a	murder	,	and	then	calls	the	cops	.	meanwhile	,	cora's	delinquent	daughter	,	emma	(	liv	tyler	)	,	is	back	in	town	.	when	the	police	suspect	willis	of	commiting	the	crime	,	and	lock	him	up	,	she	decides	to	become	her	cellmate	.	infact	,	the	jail	cell	is	basically	an	open	room	where	the	cops	come	in	and	play	scrabble	and	talk	about	fishing	with	the	criminals	.	one	of	the	cops	is	jason	,	a	very	dumb	young	man	who	is	in	love	with	emma	.	jason	is	excited	to	be	coping	with	the	town's	first	real	crime	,	and	camille	is	trying	to	cover	it	up	right	in	front	of	him	.	cookie's	fortune	isn't	one	of	altman's	more	important	films	,	but	it	is	still	a	cut	above	most	dark	comedies	.	unlike	many	directors	,	altman	isn't	trying	to	show	off	any	derivative	new	style	.	he	just	wants	the	viewer	to	see	the	characters	in	their	real	life	form	,	which	makes	the	film	all	the	more	convincing	.	i'm	surprised	to	see	that	the	film	recieved	somewhat	lukewarm	reception	at	sundance	.	perhaps	the	viewers	were	hoping	for	something	different	.	but	i	,	for	one	,	loved	this	entertaining	gem	.	infact	i	may	have	even	enjoyed	it	better	than	altman's	last	outing	,	the	john	grisham's	scripted	the	gingerbread	man	,	which	was	also	a	very	good	picture	.	cookie's	fortune	is	a	breath	of	fresh	air	from	other	derivative	movies	made	by	twentysomething	film	students	.	it	shows	patient	,	developed	filmmaking	from	a	truly	knowledgable	filmmaker	.	cookie's	fortune	is	one	of	the	new	year's	smartest	comedies	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	"	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	writer	director	:	woody	allen	starring	:	kenneth	branagh	,	judy	davis	,	joe	mantegna	,	charlize	theron	,	leonardo	dicaprio	,	famke	janssen	,	winona	ryder	,	melanie	griffith	,	bebe	neuwirth	,	michael	lerner	,	hank	azaria	,	gretchen	mol	,	dylan	baker	,	jeffrey	wright	,	greg	mottola	,	andre	gregory	,	saffron	burrows	,	alfred	molina	,	vanessa	redgrave	,	joey	buttafuoco	,	mary	jo	buttafuoco	,	donald	trump	after	hearing	reviews	for	woody	allen's	upteenth	movie	in	history	,	"	celebrity	,	"	range	from	terribly	boring	to	just	so	so	,	my	heart	lept	when	the	opening	images	of	the	film	closely	resembled	that	of	"	manhattan	,	"	my	personal	favorite	from	my	personal	favorite	director	of	all	time	.	woody	allen's	films	almost	never	rely	on	visual	flair	over	textual	flair	,	so	when	one	of	his	films	closely	resembles	the	one	time	that	these	two	entities	fit	hand	in	hand	(	"	manhattan	"	really	is	one	of	the	best	looking	films	i've	ever	seen	,	beautiful	black	and	white	photography	of	the	city's	best	areas	,	etc	.	)	,	a	fan	can't	help	but	feel	visibly	moved	.	the	film	opens	up	,	with	the	usual	credits	with	plain	white	font	over	black	backgrounds	,	and	an	old	ironic	standard	playing	on	the	soundtrack	,	but	then	the	screen	fills	with	a	gorgeous	dull	gray	sky	,	with	the	word	"	help	"	being	spelled	with	an	airplane	.	beethoven's	5th	blasts	on	the	soundtrack	.	the	city	seems	to	stop	to	take	notice	of	this	moment	,	and	it's	all	rather	lovely	to	look	at	.	and	then	we	cut	to	a	film	crew	,	shooting	this	as	the	film's	hilariously	banal	key	moment	in	the	film	,	where	the	lead	actress	in	the	film	(	melanie	griffith	,	looking	as	buxom	and	beautiful	as	ever	)	has	to	realize	something's	wrong	with	her	life	or	whatever	.	it's	a	terribly	stale	scene	for	a	woody	allen	film	,	with	the	great	opening	shots	or	without	,	and	my	heart	sank	and	i	soon	got	used	to	the	fact	that	once	again	,	a	new	film	of	his	was	not	going	to	be	as	great	as	his	past	works	(	though	,	for	the	record	,	last	year's	"	deconstructing	harry	"	came	awfully	close	)	.	what	the	hell	has	happened	to	him	?	the	man	who	once	could	be	relied	on	for	neurotic	freshness	in	cinema	has	not	become	less	funny	,	but	his	films	have	become	less	insightful	and	more	like	he	tossed	them	together	out	of	unfinished	ideas	.	"	bullets	over	broadway	,	"	though	wonderful	,	relies	on	irony	to	pull	a	farce	that	just	never	totally	takes	off	.	"	mighty	aphrodite	"	is	more	full	of	great	moments	and	lines	than	a	really	great	story	.	"	everyone	says	i	love	you	"	was	more	of	a	great	idea	than	a	great	film	.	even	"	deconstructing	harry	"	is	admittingly	cheap	in	a	way	,	even	if	it	does	top	as	one	of	his	most	truly	hilarious	films	.	if	anything	,	the	reception	of	"	celebrity	"	by	everyone	should	tip	allen	off	to	the	fact	that	this	time	,	it's	not	the	audience	and	critics	who	are	wrong	about	how	wonderful	his	film	is	:	it's	him	.	"	celebrity	"	is	,	yes	,	a	good	film	,	but	it's	only	marginally	satisfying	as	a	woody	allen	film	.	instead	of	creating	the	great	woody	allen	world	,	he's	created	a	world	out	of	a	subject	he	knows	only	a	bit	about	.	and	he's	fashioned	a	film	that	is	based	almost	entirely	on	his	uninformed	philosophy	of	celebrities	,	so	that	it	plays	like	a	series	of	skits	with	minor	connections	.	it's	like	"	la	dolce	vita	"	without	the	accuracy	,	the	right	amount	of	wit	,	and	the	correct	personal	crisis	.	woody	,	becoming	more	insecure	in	his	old	age	,	choses	to	drop	the	woody	allen	character	in	on	the	world	of	celebrities	,	and	then	hang	him	and	all	his	flaws	up	for	scrutiny	,	and	does	this	by	casting	not	himself	but	brit	actor	kenneth	branagh	in	the	lead	.	much	has	been	said	about	his	performance	dead	on	but	irritating	,	makes	one	yearn	for	the	real	thing	,	blah	blah	blah	but	to	anyone	who	actually	knows	the	woody	allen	character	knows	that	branagh's	performance	,	though	featuring	some	of	the	same	mannerisms	(	stuttering	,	whining	,	lots	o'	hand	gestures	)	,	is	hardly	a	warts	and	all	impersonation	.	branagh	brings	along	with	him	little	of	the	woody	allen	charm	,	which	actually	allows	for	his	character's	flaws	to	be	more	apparent	.	woody's	a	flawed	guy	,	and	we	know	it	,	but	we	love	him	anyway	,	because	he's	really	funny	and	really	witty	and	really	intelligent	.	branagh's	allen	is	a	bit	more	flat	out	bad	,	but	with	the	same	charm	so	that	,	yes	,	we	like	him	,	but	we're	still	not	sure	if	he's	really	a	good	person	or	not	.	his	character	,	lee	simon	,	is	first	seen	on	the	set	of	the	aforementioned	movie	,	hits	on	extra	actress	winona	ryder	,	then	goes	off	to	interview	griffith	,	who	takes	him	to	her	childhood	home	where	he	makes	a	pass	at	her	,	and	she	denies	him	.	.	.	sorta	.	we	then	learn	,	through	flashbacks	,	that	lee	has	been	sucked	into	trying	to	be	a	celebrity	thanks	to	a	mid	life	crisis	and	an	appearance	at	his	high	school	reunion	.	he	has	since	quit	his	job	as	a	travel	journalist	and	become	a	gossip	journalist	of	sorts	,	covering	movie	sets	and	places	where	celebrities	congregate	,	so	that	he	can	meet	them	,	and	maybe	sell	his	script	(	a	bank	robbery	movie	"	but	with	a	deep	personal	crisis	"	)	.	as	such	,	he	has	divorced	his	wife	of	several	years	(	allen	regular	judy	davis	)	,	and	continues	on	a	quest	for	sexual	happiness	,	boucing	from	girlfriend	to	girlfriend	and	fling	to	fling	over	the	course	of	the	film	.	after	griffith	comes	his	escapades	with	a	model	(	charlize	theron	)	who	is	"	polymorphously	perverse	"	(	glad	to	see	allen	is	using	new	jokes	,	ha	ha	)	,	who	takes	him	for	a	wild	ride	not	different	from	that	of	the	anita	ekberg	segment	of	"	la	dolce	vita	.	"	following	are	his	safe	relationship	with	smart	working	woman	famke	janssen	,	a	relationship	that	almost	assures	him	success	,	and	his	continued	escapades	with	ryder	,	whom	he	fancies	most	of	all	.	his	story	is	juxtaposed	with	that	of	davis	,	who	flips	out	,	but	stumbles	onto	happiness	when	she	runs	into	a	handsome	,	friendly	tv	exec	(	joe	mantegna	)	who	lands	her	a	job	that	furthers	her	career	to	national	status	.	while	lee	is	fumbling	about	,	selfishly	trying	to	ensure	his	own	happiness	,	davis	becomes	happy	(	"	i've	become	the	kind	of	woman	i've	always	hated	.	.	.	and	i'm	loving	it	.	"	)	without	doing	a	thing	.	the	result	is	a	film	of	highs	and	mediums	.	the	mediums	are	what	take	up	most	of	the	film	,	with	sitations	and	scenes	which	don't	exactly	work	but	you	can't	help	but	pat	allen	on	the	back	for	trying	.	but	other	places	are	really	great	scenes	.	the	opening	.	the	sequence	with	theron	,	which	is	so	good	that	i	wished	it	hadn't	ended	.	a	banana	scene	with	bebe	neuwirth	(	droll	as	ever	)	.	and	,	perhaps	the	best	sequence	:	a	romp	with	hot	as	hell	teen	idol	,	brandon	darrow	,	played	by	none	other	than	leo	dicaprio	,	who	is	so	un	dicaprio	esque	that	if	any	of	this	fans	could	sit	through	this	film	,	they'd	never	look	at	him	the	same	way	.	he	ignites	the	screen	with	intensity	,	and	spares	nothing	in	showing	his	character	as	narcissistically	tyrannical	,	and	totally	heartbreaking	for	lee	,	who	comes	to	him	to	talk	about	his	script	that	he	has	read	,	and	finds	himself	on	a	wild	all	day	ride	with	him	.	they	go	to	atlantic	city	to	watch	a	fight	,	they	gamble	,	and	they	wind	up	in	his	hotel	room	,	where	darrow	gets	it	on	with	his	flame	(	gretchen	mol	)	and	he	lends	him	one	of	the	leftover	groupies	.	allen's	writing	in	these	scenes	are	so	good	that	just	for	them	,	i'd	almost	recommend	the	film	.	almost	.	but	what	i	really	liked	about	this	film	is	despite	the	fact	that	it's	a	mess	,	despite	the	fact	that	what	this	film	really	needs	is	a	good	old	fashioned	rewrite	by	allen	himself	,	it's	still	a	smart	and	insightful	film	.	though	some	of	the	jokes	are	either	stale	or	misplaced	(	some	seem	too	cartoonish	,	even	for	this	environment	)	,	allen	still	manages	to	get	across	that	this	film	is	not	exactly	about	celebrities	,	as	it	may	seem	to	be	(	if	it	were	,	it'd	be	extremely	out	of	touch	)	,	but	about	those	who	want	to	be	celebrities	,	and	how	they	equate	celebrity	hood	with	happiness	.	we	never	get	close	enough	to	the	actual	celebrities	to	see	if	they're	really	happy	(	they	may	appear	to	be	on	the	surface	.	.	.	)	,	but	we	do	get	close	enough	to	lee	and	davis'	character	.	lee	is	obsessed	with	the	phenomenon	,	while	davis	takes	is	at	arm's	length	,	and	never	gets	too	involved	in	what	it	is	,	and	soon	becomes	one	herself	.	besides	,	it's	witty	,	and	it	does	have	the	one	thing	that	no	other	film	has	but	allen's	:	that	great	woody	allen	feel	.	it	may	be	not	exactly	fresh	and	lively	or	totally	brilliant	in	its	depiction	of	its	subject	,	and	yes	,	as	a	part	of	woody	allen's	oeuvre	,	it's	merely	a	blip	(	no	"	annie	hall	"	but	it's	no	"	shadows	and	fog	"	either	)	,	but	it	goes	to	prove	that	no	one	can	make	a	film	like	him	,	and	only	he	and	maybe	godard	could	possibly	take	a	totally	horrible	metaphor	,	like	the	one	in	the	beginning	,	and	make	it	work	not	once	but	twice	.
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	screensavers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	group	of	asbestos	cleaners	get	a	job	removing	the	gunk	from	an	old	insane	asylum	.	as	each	day	passes	,	the	crew	members	begin	to	discover	things	about	the	place	and	themselves	which	set	other	things	in	motion	.	saying	anything	else	about	the	plot	would	be	a	crime	.	have	fun	.	.	.	critique	:	"	i	feel	like	shooting	myself	in	the	head	"	are	the	first	words	that	came	out	of	my	mouth	after	seeing	this	movie	,	a	good	indication	as	to	what	kind	of	film	to	expect	here	.	this	ain't	your	average	"	happy	go	lucky	"	kind	of	picture	.	this	is	a	deliberately	slow	paced	mystery	horror	film	drenched	in	atmosphere	,	with	a	very	creepy	insane	asylum	(	in	which	most	of	the	film	takes	place	)	,	very	few	clues	up	front	and	lots	to	talk	about	afterwards	.	will	it	bore	some	people	to	sleep	?	you	bet	it	will	!	is	it	made	for	the	scream	audiences	of	the	day	?	absolutely	not	!	i	guess	you	can	describe	this	film	as	a	horror	movie	for	the	"	cerebral	crowd	"	.	a	film	that	patiently	unwraps	itself	frame	after	frame	,	giving	away	very	little	with	each	step	and	each	sound	,	unwinding	itself	until	its	final	scenes	offer	up	a	world	of	revelations	and	plenty	more	to	discuss	later	.	i've	always	loved	movies	that	have	me	talking	about	them	afterwards	like	the	shining	and	lost	highway	and	this	film	fits	right	into	that	group	.	in	fact	,	i	guess	i	can	pussyfoot	around	the	actual	word	all	i	want	but	the	best	way	to	describe	this	kind	of	movie	is	a	"	mindfuck	"	.	if	you	feel	like	watching	a	movie	that	moves	very	slowly	,	gives	you	a	handful	of	characters	with	divergent	backgrounds	,	tosses	a	few	very	ambiguous	and	supernatural	cookies	your	way	and	is	extremely	disturbing	once	you	put	it	all	together	,	well	,	then	this	movie	is	definitely	for	you	!	it's	the	kind	of	film	that	you	actually	have	to	see	twice	to	fully	appreciate	(	damn	,	i	missed	that	whole	"	peanut	butter	"	thing	!	)	and	one	that	will	likely	creep	the	shit	out	of	you	if	watched	alone	in	the	dark	.	"	brrrrrrrrr	.	.	.	now	what	was	that	sound	in	the	basement	?	honey	,	can	you	go	check	?	"	and	one	thing	this	film	doesn't	have	,	unlike	its	hollywood	ian	counterparts	like	the	haunting	,	is	special	effects	.	in	fact	,	that's	one	of	the	greater	things	about	this	movie	:	it	feels	real	because	it	looks	like	it's	actually	taped	on	video	with	very	credible	actors	in	very	credible	circumstances	(	i	did	some	research	and	it	was	,	in	fact	,	shot	on	digital	video	.	.	.	ah	ha	!	)	.	another	great	thing	about	it	is	that	it's	actually	very	gory	and	somewhat	violent	in	theme	,	and	yet	we	rarely	see	anything	of	the	sort	on	the	big	screen	(	it's	mostly	implied	,	kids	!	)	.	and	as	clichd	as	it	might	be	to	say	.	.	.	it's	usually	much	scarier	when	stuff	is	left	to	our	imagination	or	implied	in	movies	as	such	.	other	films	that	this	one	reminded	me	of	include	henry	:	portrait	of	a	serial	killer	and	the	blair	witch	project	,	with	that	same	real	sense	of	dread	,	brooding	and	terror	.	the	film	does	however	move	awfully	slow	and	if	you	really	don't	get	"	into	"	it	completely	(	you	really	need	to	concentrate	here	)	,	you	will	lose	the	motion	of	the	story	and	the	pent	up	tension	might	be	released	.	but	overall	,	this	film	is	yet	another	great	example	of	the	horror	genre	making	a	very	cool	comeback	this	year	with	no	tight	tanktops	in	sight	.	and	with	david	caruso	acting	like	the	king	hotshot	like	only	he	can	,	how	can	you	go	wrong	?	definitely	not	a	film	for	everyone	but	a	must	see	for	anyone	looking	to	throw	themselves	into	the	psyche	of	the	disturbed	(	count	me	in	!	)	.	stanley	kubrick	would	be	proud	!	oh	yeah	.	.	.	so	where's	that	gun	again	.	.	.	?	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	the	blair	witch	project	(	4	10	)	blair	witch	2	(	7	10	)	the	haunting	(	3	10	)	the	house	on	haunted	hill	(	7	10	)	lost	highway	(	10	10	)	the	pledge	(	6	10	)	the	shining	(	9	10	)	the	sixth	sense	(	8	10	)	unbreakable	(	8	10	)
pos	director	:	michael	bay	cast	:	bruce	willis	,	billy	bob	thornton	,	liv	tyler	,	ben	affleck	,	will	patton	,	peter	stormare	,	keith	david	,	steve	buscemi	,	owen	wilson	,	william	fichtner	screenplay	(	story	,	etc	.	)	:	jonathan	hensleigh	,	robert	roy	pool	,	tony	gilroy	,	shane	salerno	,	j	.	j	.	abrams	,	paul	attanasio	,	ann	biderman	,	scott	rosenberg	,	robert	towne	producers	:	jerry	bruckheimer	,	gale	anne	hurd	,	michael	bay	runtime	:	150	min	.	us	distribution	:	touchstone	rated	pg	13	:	disaster	violence	,	language	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	cinema	has	been	around	for	about	a	hundred	years	now	.	it's	not	my	job	to	recap	this	century	every	time	i	talk	about	a	new	film	,	but	i'd	like	to	think	that	i'm	beginning	to	understand	the	art	more	as	i	watch	more	films	from	before	my	time	.	recently	,	i've	seen	the	films	of	hitchcock	,	capra	,	fellini	,	godard	,	kurosawa	,	chaplin	,	lang	,	and	many	others	.	those	men	were	talented	artists	,	and	their	films	reflect	their	genius	.	they	are	likely	to	be	remembered	for	.	.	.	well	,	quite	a	while	.	i	like	this	film	,	too	.	yes	,	it's	a	disaster	slash	action	movie	.	true	,	its	budget	is	a	lot	more	money	than	i'll	ever	see	in	my	lifetime	.	and	there's	not	a	doubt	in	my	mind	that	the	only	reason	it	was	conceived	was	to	make	a	lot	of	money	.	in	fact	,	i	bet	the	producers	of	armageddon	would	have	worked	towards	a	lousy	film	,	had	they	thought	it	would've	been	more	profitable	.	i	certainly	don't	care	what	their	intentions	were	,	because	michael	bay	(	the	rock	)	is	such	a	skilled	director	that	i	doubt	he'd	ever	make	a	film	that	is	difficult	to	sit	through	.	of	course	,	skillful	direction	doesn't	complete	the	package	,	but	the	rest	of	armageddon	manages	to	keep	everything	together	.	the	story	is	well	thought	out	(	and	perfectly	paced	to	provide	for	an	abundance	of	action	sequences	that	never	feel	out	of	place	)	,	the	acting	is	terrific	,	the	script	is	sharp	,	and	get	this	there	are	characters	.	yes	,	you	read	that	right	.	armageddon	actually	has	characters	you	can	care	about	!	if	you	don't	like	this	film	,	then	you	have	a	problem	with	the	genre	itself	:	armageddon	is	as	good	as	a	film	like	this	can	be	.	if	you've	seen	deep	impact	,	then	you	know	the	basic	framework	for	the	story	.	it	turns	out	that	an	asteroid	the	size	of	texas	is	going	to	strike	the	earth	eighteen	days	from	the	start	of	the	film	.	so	,	it's	up	to	the	u	.	s	.	government	to	stop	it	.	(	why	the	u	.	s	.	is	always	exclusively	saddled	with	these	problems	is	never	fully	investigated	.	)	their	plan	to	send	a	group	of	experienced	oil	drillers	up	to	the	asteroid	,	drill	down	several	hundred	feet	,	and	detonate	a	nuclear	warhead	within	.	the	head	driller	is	harry	stamper	(	bruce	willis	)	.	his	group	of	men	is	a	colorful	bunch	,	including	a	.	j	.	(	ben	affleck	)	,	chick	(	will	patton	)	,	and	rockhound	(	steve	buscemi	)	.	there's	also	an	interesting	triangle	formed	between	a	.	j	.	,	harry	,	and	grace	(	liv	tyler	)	,	who	is	harry's	daughter	.	a	.	j	.	and	grace	are	,	of	course	,	romantically	intertwined	,	and	dad	isn't	too	happy	with	the	situation	.	it's	absurd	to	wish	for	a	complicated	story	in	an	event	movie	or	a	special	effects	movie	or	whatever	it	is	you'd	like	to	call	armageddon	.	it's	not	about	story	it's	about	viscera	and	action	,	and	thrills	a	minute	,	and	all	that	stuff	.	it's	incidental	,	really	,	that	the	story	is	cohesive	and	even	remotely	believable	,	because	most	people	will	be	too	wrapped	up	in	the	explosions	to	give	two	seconds'	thought	to	what	actually	happens	.	but	bay	is	the	one	to	congratulate	in	this	case	,	for	he	has	made	a	film	so	entertaining	and	so	visually	sharp	that	i	doubt	any	director	could	have	done	it	better	.	i	think	most	of	the	budget	went	to	cameras	alone	,	because	bay	films	every	action	sequence	from	about	thirty	or	forty	different	angles	.	take	the	spectacular	opening	scene	,	for	instance	,	in	which	a	meteor	shower	obliterates	new	york	.	a	meteor	flies	out	of	the	sky	and	crashes	into	a	building	,	which	sends	fireballs	erupting	into	the	air	and	cars	spinning	like	tops	upon	other	cars	.	the	action	itself	might	take	five	seconds	in	real	life	,	but	bay	edits	so	quickly	that	we	get	the	same	scene	in	six	different	ways	.	i	like	his	quick	edit	style	,	because	it's	abrasive	and	exhausting	to	watch	.	it's	also	very	loud	,	and	obnoxiously	noisy	at	times	.	but	it's	fun	to	be	obnoxious	sometimes	.	the	special	effects	in	this	film	put	every	other	1998	blockbuster	to	shame	.	deep	impact	,	visually	,	has	absolutely	nothing	on	armageddon	,	and	to	offer	a	comparison	between	the	quality	of	this	film	and	godzilla	is	simply	laughable	.	special	effects	are	very	important	in	a	film	like	this	:	if	they're	not	good	,	then	the	image	is	not	convincing	,	and	the	film	doesn't	work	.	everything	here	looks	bright	and	explosive	from	the	little	meteors	bursting	through	skyscrapers	,	all	the	way	to	the	shots	of	the	earth	through	the	jutting	rocks	on	the	ominously	approaching	asteroid	.	the	effects	that	don't	look	totally	real	are	still	a	pleasure	to	behold	,	and	i	credit	everyone	involved	for	creating	the	first	blockbuster	so	nice	looking	that	it	actually	qualifies	as	art	.	of	course	,	all	of	this	would	add	up	to	little	more	than	an	above	average	light	show	,	if	i	didn't	get	the	feeling	that	bay	cares	as	much	about	his	characters	as	he	does	about	his	action	.	the	film	is	two	and	a	half	hours	long	,	and	not	all	of	that	is	spent	submerged	in	numbing	action	.	much	of	the	film	is	dedicated	to	developing	the	various	characters'	subplots	.	i	won't	suggest	that	these	are	complex	characters	,	but	their	problems	are	real	,	and	the	emotions	aren't	put	forth	in	a	sentimental	and	overbearing	way	.	in	fact	,	there	are	three	or	four	scenes	here	that	had	me	pretty	choked	up	,	and	that's	a	lot	more	than	i	can	say	about	deep	impact	,	which	was	banking	on	the	feel	good	parts	of	its	story	.	bruce	willis	is	terrific	,	and	i'm	glad	to	see	him	bigger	than	life	again	(	recent	turns	in	films	like	mercury	rising	have	been	very	disappointing	)	.	tyler	and	affleck	are	great	together	,	and	make	a	convincing	couple	all	of	the	scenes	between	them	work	on	a	comfortable	level	.	patton	,	who	is	a	magnificent	actor	,	thankfully	is	not	wasted	here	,	and	the	minor	subplot	revolving	around	his	ex	wife	and	son	is	very	moving	.	the	comic	relief	from	buscemi	and	peter	stormare	(	who	plays	a	crazy	russian	astronaut	)	is	nifty	,	and	keeps	the	film	lively	and	funny	.	i	wasn't	challenged	to	think	real	hard	while	watching	armageddon	,	and	i	don't	mind	too	much	.	but	the	film	doesn't	insult	my	intelligence	it's	pitched	perfectly	to	entertain	,	which	is	what	all	it	really	wants	to	do	.	it's	not	mindless	and	escapist	,	but	well	crafted	cinema	.	it	might	have	been	created	for	the	wrong	reasons	,	but	men	like	michael	bay	have	my	respect	for	showing	me	that	they	are	interested	in	making	something	good	,	in	spite	of	the	producers	and	the	budget	.	i'm	not	saying	that	films	like	this	are	risky	moves	.	what	i	am	saying	is	that	armageddon	is	a	big	,	loud	,	expensive	motion	picture	that	reminds	me	that	art	often	comes	in	the	strangest	of	forms	.
pos	palmetto	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	(	out	of	)	columbia	1	:	50	1998	r	(	language	,	violence	,	sensuality	)	cast	:	woody	harrelson	;	elisabeth	shue	;	gina	gershon	;	chloe	sevigny	;	tom	wright	;	michael	rapaport	director	:	volker	schlondorff	screenplay	:	e	.	max	frye	hr	the	characters	in	"	palmetto	"	collectively	sweat	enough	to	fill	lake	erie	,	and	it's	just	the	right	way	to	capture	the	film's	ripe	atmosphere	of	sensuality	,	tension	and	even	farce	.	this	humid	florida	set	thriller	nurtures	a	modestly	absurd	edginess	that	often	winks	at	itself	,	which	is	very	much	a	good	thing	since	the	actors	and	director	are	in	on	the	joke	.	as	far	as	set	up	is	concerned	,	the	movie	is	nothing	we	haven't	seen	before	,	but	be	patient	"	palmetto	"	spins	some	pretty	wicked	story	twists	that	we	really	don't	see	coming	.	it's	not	a	classic	by	any	means	,	but	it	sure	is	quite	an	engaging	surprise	.	harry	barber	(	woody	harrelson	)	is	fresh	out	of	prison	,	where	he's	served	a	couple	of	years	for	a	crime	he	didn't	commit	.	even	though	he	harbors	animosity	towards	the	obtuse	local	officials	,	harry's	first	order	of	business	is	to	return	to	his	home	town	of	palmetto	to	be	with	his	sculptor	girlfriend	nina	(	gina	gershon	)	.	while	searching	for	work	,	he	catches	the	eye	of	rhea	malroux	(	elisabeth	shue	)	,	the	mysterious	sexbomb	wife	of	a	palmetto	millionaire	.	rhea	proposes	a	scheme	that'll	get	harry	50	,	000	easy	to	play	a	small	part	in	the	staged	kidnaping	of	her	jailbait	stepdaughter	odette	(	chloe	sevigny	)	.	"	you	do	like	risks	,	don't	you	,	mr	.	barber	?	"	rhea	alluringly	coos	.	boys	,	form	a	line	behind	me	.	part	of	"	palmetto	"	's	success	can	be	attributed	to	the	performance	of	elisabeth	shue	,	who	demonstrates	here	that	her	oscar	nominated	turn	in	"	leaving	las	vegas	"	might	merely	be	foreshadowing	great	things	to	come	.	shue's	a	seductive	,	campy	delight	,	and	pulls	off	a	barbara	stanwyck	gloria	swanson	combo	with	admirable	relish	.	the	other	actors	form	a	solid	ensemble	around	her	,	including	sevigny	(	"	kids	"	)	,	tantalizingly	slutty	as	a	teen	tease	,	as	well	as	the	ever	likeable	gershon	,	cast	a	far	cry	from	her	extreme	roles	in	"	bound	"	and	"	showgirls	.	"	harrelson	is	still	doing	fine	follow	up	work	to	"	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	.	"	"	palmetto	"	does	have	its	share	of	grievances	.	harrelson's	narration	is	needless	,	i	suppose	,	and	gershon's	nina	cries	to	be	meatier	than	she	ultimately	is	.	one	of	the	plot's	unexpected	angles	that	harry	is	asked	by	the	police	to	become	the	press	liaison	for	the	very	crime	in	which	he's	involved	could	have	been	played	a	little	better	.	there	are	moments	when	you	question	the	tone	,	but	it's	never	so	unstable	that	it	deserves	the	reproach	it's	been	receiving	from	most	other	critics	.	if	"	palmetto	"	didn't	want	to	be	laughed	at	,	would	it	really	have	tacked	on	a	climax	that	plays	like	a	live	action	"	who	framed	roger	rabbit	"	?	although	a	few	elements	can	be	questioned	,	the	movie	works	well	on	its	own	terms	.	thanks	to	a	juicy	cast	especially	shue	and	the	nifty	material	approach	from	director	volker	schlondorff	(	you	remember	him	from	last	summer's	suddenly	re	popular	"	the	tin	drum	,	"	right	?	)	,	everything	runs	smoothly	.	and	for	fans	of	revelation	heavy	endings	,	this	film's	got	a	few	shocks	in	store	that	i	won't	even	dream	of	revealing	.	"	palmetto	"	is	a	generous	amount	of	fun	to	watch	,	and	that's	all	you	need	to	know	.	hr	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	suggestions	,	please	,	for	the	fourth	movie	in	the	series	.	how	about	look	who's	talking	back	,	'	in	which	the	audience	gets	its	turn	?	"	roger	ebert	on	"	look	who's	talking	now	"
pos	it	is	with	hesitance	that	i	call	"	apocalypse	now	"	a	masterpiece	.	certainly	,	it	had	the	pedigree	to	be	one	of	the	greatest	films	ever	made	,	with	a	director	known	for	producing	masterpieces	with	ease	,	and	some	of	the	finest	actors	of	the	1970's	.	the	plot	,	an	adaptation	of	joseph	conrad's	"	heart	of	darkness	"	,	was	set	in	vietnam	,	and	the	timing	of	the	film	was	supposed	to	be	brilliant	,	coming	on	the	heels	of	the	end	of	the	war	.	"	apocalypse	"	certainly	has	its	moments	,	some	of	which	are	the	finest	in	film	history	.	the	plot	is	fairly	simple	.	captain	willard	(	sheen	)	,	is	a	troubled	soldier	who	came	back	to	hanoi	for	a	2nd	tour	of	duty	.	his	mission	is	simple	:	take	a	boat	up	to	cambodian	territory	,	and	destroy	the	command	of	renegade	colonel	kurtz	(	brando	)	"	with	extreme	prejudice	"	.	along	the	way	,	willard	runs	into	a	series	of	adventures	,	including	one	with	lt	.	col	.	kilgore	(	duvall	)	,	and	a	strange	encounter	with	playboy	bunnies	.	willard'	s	four	person	crew	finally	make	it	to	kurtz'	compound	,	where	he	discovers	kurtz	has	set	himself	up	as	a	god	among	the	natives	.	willard's	experiences	with	kurtz	take	up	the	last	half	hour	,	with	a	confrontation	and	eventual	ending	.	the	movie	is	visually	breathtaking	.	the	battle	scenes	are	exquisitely	done	,	and	the	score	is	brilliant	,	setting	a	murky	mood	of	darkness	that	is	first	rate	.	the	collage	of	disturbing	images	that	coppola	presents	is	at	times	both	astonishing	and	sickening	.	the	vast	amount	of	detail	poured	into	every	war	scene	is	stunning	,	and	there	are	many	episodes	that	are	deeply	powerful	which	resonate	through	the	entire	movie	.	the	journey	to	kurtz'	camp	is	quite	a	ride	,	with	psychosis	setting	in	on	almost	every	character	.	the	most	interesting	one	is	kilgore	,	the	lt	.	col	.	who	cares	more	about	the	surf	than	about	the	mission	.	it	is	at	times	revolting	,	psychotic	,	and	incredible	,	and	it	is	one	hell	of	a	movie	.	the	scenes	are	bold	,	inventive	,	and	powerful	,	and	the	acting	is	stunning	,	especially	be	sheen	,	duvall	,	and	fishburne	.	the	narration	is	exquisite	,	as	is	the	mystery	of	kurtz	.	coppola	sets	about	a	hallucinatory	ride	through	vietnam	,	kind	of	like	"	saving	private	ryan	"	on	lsd	.	the	film	is	jarring	in	its	implications	,	and	psychotic	in	its	execution	.	the	problems	come	when	the	film	slows	down	.	one	of	the	major	scenes	in	the	film	,	where	the	boat	arrives	at	the	final	army	checkpoint	before	they	start	their	search	for	kurtz	,	is	a	colossal	mess	.	the	dialogue	is	confusing	,	the	lighting	is	atrocious	,	and	the	scene	drags	on	for	10	terrible	minutes	of	film	.	the	true	problems	happen	after	the	crew	does	come	into	the	kurtz	compound	.	the	film	slows	down	to	a	drag	.	sheen	seems	forever	captured	by	a	madman	,	played	by	brando	is	a	lazy	performance	that	is	not	deserving	of	the	accolades	it	received	.	brando	is	in	the	film	for	no	more	than	15	minutes	,	but	is	bathed	in	shadows	the	entire	time	,	making	the	last	half	hour	of	the	film	visually	pathetic	.	the	scenes	are	poorly	done	,	the	dialogue	is	muffled	,	and	the	whole	mess	is	utterly	confusing	beyond	all	belief	.	sheen	seems	to	adore	this	man	,	but	why	the	viewers	are	never	told	.	the	entire	journey	is	supposed	to	be	a	prelude	for	a	stunning	entrance	of	this	god	like	kurtz	,	but	the	scenes	fall	way	short	of	expectations	.	granted	,	it	has	its	moments	,	which	are	brutally	horrific	,	but	the	general	feeling	is	one	of	confusion	.	brando	mumbles	his	lines	in	a	incoherent	stir	,	and	my	feeling	was	that	this	could	never	be	a	great	man	,	this	could	never	be	a	man	who	inspires	hundreds	to	follow	him	,	so	why	do	they	do	it	?	there	are	moments	of	brilliance	,	but	the	visual	confusion	dilutes	the	power	of	the	scene	.	there	are	too	many	questions	left	unanswered	with	the	character	of	kurtz	to	have	a	satisfying	ending	.	the	finest	scene	at	the	end	is	sheen's	escape	,	and	his	entrace	into	the	temple	.	his	rise	out	of	the	water	,	with	the	smoke	coming	off	of	his	slicked	head	,	is	a	brilliant	30	seconds	of	film	.	yet	,	you	cannot	shake	the	feeling	that	there	is	so	much	more	this	film	could	have	done	.	the	psychotic	ride	is	unforgettable	at	times	,	and	indeed	the	film	on	the	whole	is	very	good	.	it	is	a	stunningly	flawed	expression	of	film	,	for	it	addresses	major	issues	,	such	as	man's	mental	stamina	during	bouts	of	war	.	but	one	still	cannot	shake	the	feeling	that	this	film	could	have	so	much	more	powerful	,	had	the	character	of	kurtz	been	more	explored	,	and	had	sheen	truly	succumbed	to	the	fate	that	the	viewer	thought	he	was	destined	for	.	there	is	too	much	good	material	in	here	not	to	be	called	a	masterpiece	,	but	it	could	have	been	so	much	more	rewarding	.
pos	one	fun	activity	for	parents	during	the	holidays	is	to	suggest	an	old	film	and	see	if	they	can	interest	their	kids	.	although	black	and	white	films	are	frequently	viewed	as	suspect	,	ones	in	color	are	greeted	with	more	of	an	open	mind	.	and	if	you	can	find	a	colorful	action	film	,	even	if	it	is	from	six	decades	ago	,	then	there	is	a	real	possibility	of	a	take	home	hit	.	so	it	was	in	our	family	when	we	wandered	over	to	the	classic	section	of	our	local	video	store	the	other	day	and	picked	up	a	copy	of	the	adventures	of	robin	hood	,	a	high	spirited	version	of	the	walter	scott	story	.	nominated	for	the	1938	academy	award	for	best	picture	and	winner	of	three	oscars	for	erich	wolfgang	korngold's	melodramatic	music	,	ralph	dawson's	fast	paced	editing	and	carl	jules	weyl's	lush	sets	,	the	film	is	probably	best	remembered	for	errol	flynn's	charismatic	acting	as	sir	robin	of	locksley	,	a	.	k	.	a	.	robin	hood	.	flynn	,	with	his	handsome	figure	and	toothy	smile	,	charms	the	audience	while	clearly	having	a	high	old	time	himself	.	let	me	cut	to	the	chase	and	say	that	the	tape	was	indeed	popular	in	the	rhodes	household	.	the	littlest	rhodes	,	jeffrey	,	age	8	,	liked	it	so	much	that	he	viewed	it	at	least	three	times	and	maybe	more	.	i'll	let	him	discuss	his	fascination	with	the	picture	in	his	usual	section	at	the	end	of	the	review	.	simply	stated	,	the	film	derives	its	success	from	being	one	of	the	best	of	its	genre	,	the	swashbuckler	.	robin	,	with	a	smile	from	ear	to	ear	,	fights	off	a	hundred	men	without	a	scratch	.	although	the	picture	can	be	considered	as	little	more	than	a	1930's	james	bond	,	the	production	values	and	the	acting	raise	it	above	that	level	.	robin	hood	is	a	classic	story	of	rich	and	poor	.	robin	steals	from	the	rich	and	gives	to	the	poor	as	every	schoolchild	knows	.	in	this	movie	,	however	,	he	seems	much	less	interested	in	income	redistribution	than	in	fighting	for	his	king	and	country	.	robin	,	with	his	courage	and	athletic	skills	,	serves	as	a	role	model	for	kids	.	and	with	the	lovely	olivia	de	havilland	playing	the	dreamy	eyed	lady	marian	fitzswalter	,	the	story	has	heavy	romantic	overtones	.	filmed	in	the	typical	,	richly	oversaturated	colors	produced	by	early	technicolor	,	the	flesh	tones	are	overly	pink	and	there	few	color	subtleties	,	which	match	perfectly	the	wonderfully	exaggerated	acting	of	the	players	.	in	scene	after	scene	the	picture	charms	the	audience	.	who	wouldn't	fall	for	robin	as	he	shows	up	incognito	to	win	the	archery	contest	,	even	if	the	outcome	is	so	clearly	preordained	.	and	,	of	course	,	he	doesn't	just	win	,	he	does	so	by	splitting	the	other	man's	arrow	.	watching	the	picture	today	does	provide	some	jarring	moments	.	sherlock	holmes	as	the	villain	,	sir	guy	of	gisbourne	,	for	example	,	just	doesn't	seem	right	,	even	if	basil	rathbone	did	have	a	real	life	identity	outside	of	his	most	famous	role	.	and	then	there	are	those	wigs	from	the	makeup	department	so	bad	,	they	look	like	rejects	from	a	mel	brooks	comedy	.	as	was	popular	in	the	cinema	of	that	era	,	people	die	with	the	most	gentle	prick	of	the	sword	and	without	any	nasty	,	bloody	holes	to	spoil	the	wardrobe	or	the	looks	.	bad	guys	are	banished	rather	than	killed	,	and	lovers	go	off	hand	in	hand	,	doing	nothing	more	explicitly	sexual	than	kissing	.	the	result	is	a	wonderful	fairy	tale	of	a	movie	with	delightful	,	cartoonish	figures	.	hollywood	rarely	makes	such	high	quality	family	films	like	this	anymore	,	so	try	to	savor	the	old	ones	when	you	can	.	the	adventures	of	robin	hood	runs	1	:	42	.	it	is	not	rated	,	but	containing	absolutely	nothing	offensive	,	it	would	get	a	g	rating	and	is	fine	for	all	ages	.	jeffrey	thinks	the	film	is	"	great	"	and	gives	it	.	he	recommends	the	movie	particularly	for	people	who	do	not	likely	bloody	pictures	he	hates	the	sight	of	blood	in	movies	.	his	favorite	parts	are	the	battles	and	the	ending	,	and	his	favorite	characters	are	robin	and	king	richard	(	ian	hunter	)	.
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odeon	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	warner	bros	.	on	march	31	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	170	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	2	.	35	:	1	directed	by	oliver	stone	;	produced	by	lauren	shuler	donner	,	dan	halsted	,	clayton	townsend	.	written	by	john	logan	,	daniel	pyne	,	oliver	stone	.	photographed	by	salvatore	totino	;	edited	by	stuart	levy	,	thomas	j	.	nordberg	,	keith	salmon	,	stuart	waks	.	"	any	given	sunday	"	is	a	dramatic	immersion	in	the	world	of	american	football	,	looking	further	than	commentators	and	managers	,	and	jumping	right	in	there	with	the	guys	in	the	huddle	.	the	film	gives	us	its	view	on	the	current	state	of	the	game	,	with	character	studies	of	both	players	and	executives	,	but	also	reminds	us	of	the	intense	physical	experience	of	playing	.	for	true	sportsmen	,	that's	the	real	thrill	;	for	a	lot	of	people	in	this	movie	,	it's	just	something	that	they	must	go	through	in	order	to	get	big	pay	cheques	.	at	the	heart	of	the	movie's	narrative	are	scenes	showing	pitch	action	from	a	first	hand	point	of	view	.	if	sometimes	they	seem	irrelevant	or	confusing	well	,	that's	the	point	;	players	often	look	at	their	games	in	the	same	light	.	some	reviews	have	accused	the	moments	of	being	unnecessary	stylistic	excess	,	but	that's	just	because	many	journalists	feel	obliged	to	make	unfounded	attacks	on	the	director	,	oliver	stone	,	a	man	who	does	not	avoid	using	bold	techniques	to	tell	his	stories	.	this	time	he	follows	a	season	in	the	life	of	the	miami	sharks	,	an	american	football	team	coached	by	tony	d'amato	(	al	pacino	)	.	tony	has	lost	a	few	games	in	a	row	,	and	his	old	school	patience	for	things	to	get	better	is	not	shared	by	today's	press	,	who	savage	him	whenever	he	puts	a	foot	wrong	.	the	new	owner	of	the	sharks	,	christine	pagniacci	(	cameron	diaz	)	,	is	just	as	hasty	,	and	demands	an	immediate	solution	to	her	squad's	poor	performance	.	a	young	hotshot	quarterback	called	willie	beamen	(	jamie	foxx	)	could	be	the	answer	,	because	he	has	made	some	great	plays	in	a	few	successive	games	,	and	looks	slick	on	magazine	covers	.	tony	is	cautious	,	though	;	he	senses	that	beamen's	ego	could	be	dangerous	,	and	the	lad	would	not	be	a	wise	replacement	for	39	year	old	star	performer	jack	"	cap	"	rooney	(	dennis	quaid	)	.	egos	are	a	big	influence	on	all	this	,	because	professional	sport	is	a	business	built	around	the	talents	of	temperamental	athletes	.	disagreements	over	management	strategy	also	play	a	big	part	,	because	it's	a	business	full	stop	.	and	it's	an	atmosphere	where	ethical	standards	are	hard	to	keep	up	one	of	the	doctors	in	"	any	given	sunday	"	feels	it's	his	duty	to	allow	players	to	go	on	the	field	when	injured	,	even	at	risk	of	death	,	because	"	for	these	guys	football	is	life	!	"	we're	so	used	to	thinking	of	everything	as	corrupt	in	this	day	and	age	that	none	of	the	above	is	particularly	surprising	.	it's	impressive	,	though	,	that	stone	has	managed	to	cover	so	many	areas	and	get	such	a	convincing	overview	of	a	sport	.	my	only	complaint	is	that	the	structure	could	have	been	tightened	into	something	more	urgent	.	stone's	best	films	"	platoon	"	,	"	talk	radio	"	,	"	born	on	the	fourth	of	july	"	,	"	jfk	"	sweep	us	off	our	feet	with	angry	gusto	and	big	emotional	payoffs	.	"	any	given	sunday	"	is	content	to	document	,	observe	and	convey	.	while	it	does	all	these	things	well	,	a	little	more	passion	would	not	have	gone	amiss	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	craig	(	cusack	)	is	an	unemployed	puppeteer	married	to	animal	loving	lotte	(	diaz	)	.	their	house	is	a	menagerie	.	craig	is	a	good	puppeteer	,	but	his	choice	of	material	is	bizarre	and	gets	him	beat	up	.	he	finally	caves	in	and	looks	for	a	job	,	following	up	on	a	peculiar	ad	for	fast	fingered	,	small	statured	people	.	he	reports	to	the	7	1	2	floor	of	an	office	building	(	the	explanation	how	it	got	to	have	7	1	2	floors	is	one	of	the	film's	funnier	moments	)	and	,	after	a	bizarre	conversation	with	a	receptionist	(	place	)	who	can	hear	nothing	correctly	,	gets	the	job	.	in	a	few	days	,	he	makes	two	discoveries	:	maxine	(	keener	)	with	whom	he	falls	desperately	in	love	with	and	a	door	in	his	office	which	is	a	portal	into	john	malkovich's	brain	.	things	get	increasingly	complicated	as	maxine	wants	to	cash	in	on	the	portal	,	lotte	meets	and	also	falls	in	love	with	maxine	,	and	malkovich	catches	on	to	what	is	happening	.	and	then	there's	lester	(	bean	)	,	the	mysterious	businessman	who	hired	craig	and	may	know	more	about	all	of	this	than	anyone	suspects	.	the	first	half	hour	or	so	of	this	film	is	full	of	sly	wit	.	not	laugh	out	loud	sight	gags	,	but	really	funny	moments	that	you	have	to	pay	attention	to	enjoy	fully	.	they	range	from	craig's	bizarre	puppetry	,	to	the	story	behind	the	animals	in	lotte's	menagerie	,	to	the	story	of	the	7	1	2	floor	,	and	finally	to	maxine's	very	funny	first	date	with	craig	.	but	the	final	hour	and	a	half	is	quite	a	disappointment	.	oddly	,	the	film	slows	down	when	we	get	into	malkovich's	head	.	it	stops	being	a	wacky	comedy	,	and	that's	certainly	what	this	film	should	be	,	and	tries	to	be	a	philosophical	film	with	moments	of	humour	.	even	that	might	have	worked	had	the	movie	hit	the	right	philosophical	note	.	but	it	errs	there	.	craig	briefly	discusses	the	significance	of	having	access	to	another	person's	brain	and	the	responsibility	of	having	such	access	.	maxine	ponders	the	issue	of	being	loved	by	two	people	and	yet	attracted	to	neither	alone	and	one	only	when	within	malkovich	.	issues	of	gender	identity	are	briefly	touched	upon	.	but	the	most	interesting	issue	that	could	have	been	raised	,	the	issue	of	whether	it	is	right	to	sacrifice	one	person	to	save	many	others	,	is	never	even	mentioned	.	i	know	many	critics	have	praised	this	as	one	of	the	best	movies	of	1999	.	but	i	cannot	understand	why	.	this	is	a	moderately	funny	film	that	never	gets	as	surreal	as	its	topic	would	allow	it	to	.	it's	a	film	with	a	strong	point	to	make	which	it	never	makes	.	it's	a	film	with	good	actors	giving	good	performances	for	a	failed	cause	.	it's	worth	watching	,	but	not	worth	all	the	hype	.
pos	john	carpenter's	vampires	(	1998	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1998	justin	felix	.	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	this	review	also	appears	in	the	shrubbery	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	1298	movie3	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	1298	movie3	.	html	a	screenplay	by	don	jakoby	.	based	on	the	novel	vampire	by	john	steakley	.	directed	by	john	carpenter	.	starring	james	woods	,	daniel	baldwin	,	sheryl	lee	,	thomas	ian	griffith	,	maximilian	schell	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	,	nudity	,	and	profanity	)	107	mins	.	synopsis	:	swearing	,	cigar	smoking	professional	vampire	slayer	jack	crow	leads	his	buddy	tony	,	a	prostitute	,	and	a	catholic	priest	into	battle	against	valek	,	the	world's	first	vampire	,	who	is	searching	for	the	means	to	be	able	to	live	in	sunlight	.	comments	:	as	i	write	this	,	halloween	1998	is	a	three	week	old	memory	,	and	thanksgiving	is	quickly	approaching	.	hollywood	released	a	slew	of	horror	and	horror	related	movies	right	before	and	closely	after	halloween	,	and	these	movies	are	now	slowly	making	their	way	through	second	run	,	cheap	theaters	.	the	season	brought	us	the	campy	bride	of	chucky	,	the	screamish	urban	legend	,	and	the	more	serious	apt	pupil	,	based	on	a	short	story	by	stephen	king	.	a	latecomer	,	the	sequel	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	,	came	out	on	november	,	friday	the	13th	(	aren't	they	just	so	clever	marketing	a	slasher	movie	on	friday	the	13th	?	)	.	having	seen	all	these	films	except	the	last	(	which	has	been	slammed	by	most	critics	)	,	i	can	safely	say	that	john	carpenter's	vampires	,	released	the	day	before	halloween	,	was	the	best	horror	film	created	for	the	holiday	.	this	does	not	necessarily	mean	it	was	a	great	film	the	aforementioned	flicks	were	mediocre	at	best	but	it	is	entertaining	,	especially	for	horror	,	action	,	and	"	b	movie	"	fans	.	john	carpenter	has	done	a	number	of	film	classics	in	his	long	and	varied	career	(	however	,	he's	also	produced	some	turkeys	)	.	his	chief	accomplishment	,	so	far	at	least	,	is	the	little	1978	film	halloween	,	a	film	which	became	a	huge	hit	and	launched	the	teen	slasher	genre	,	including	the	friday	the	13th	and	nightmare	on	elm	street	cycles	.	he's	also	done	a	number	of	solid	horror	and	sci	fi	movies	:	the	fog	,	they	live	,	starman	,	and	a	remake	of	the	50s	classic	the	thing	.	carpenter	,	unfortunately	,	seemed	to	be	losing	his	touch	recently	.	he	directed	kurt	russell	through	the	bad	escape	from	la	and	christopher	reeves	through	the	even	worse	village	of	the	damned	(	a	lousy	remake	)	.	carpenter	somewhat	needed	a	film	to	resolidify	his	standing	as	a	premiere	talent	.	john	carpenter's	vampires	,	at	least	,	is	a	step	in	the	right	direction	.	vampires	,	throughout	film	history	,	seem	to	be	very	popular	with	movie	audiences	.	from	bela	lugosi's	classic	turn	as	dracula	in	the	successful	universal	classic	to	christopher	lee	in	england's	hammer	cycle	to	recent	big	budget	epics	like	bram	stoker's	dracula	and	interview	with	the	vampire	,	these	creatures	of	the	night	continue	to	rake	in	profits	.	subtle	changes	in	the	vampire	myths	as	they	get	translated	through	the	decades	may	allow	for	enough	variety	to	keep	people	interested	.	this	year	,	for	example	,	wesley	snipes	played	blade	,	a	vampire	slayer	from	marvel	comics	,	combining	the	vampire	with	the	comic	book	hero	.	john	carpenter's	vampires	,	similarly	,	combines	vampires	with	another	genre	,	the	western	(	interestingly	,	the	western	had	just	been	combined	with	another	genre	,	science	fiction	,	in	soldier	)	.	the	results	end	up	as	an	interesting	mixed	bag	.	john	carpenter's	vampires	begins	promisingly	.	within	a	beautiful	new	mexico	landscape	,	jack	crow	leads	his	motley	crew	of	vampire	killers	into	an	infested	,	dilapidated	house	far	removed	from	civilization	.	apparently	,	crow's	crew	kills	bloodsuckers	in	a	unique	manner	:	they	pierce	them	with	cables	attached	to	a	running	truck	outside	.	the	vampires	are	thus	yanked	from	the	darkness	of	their	abode	and	into	the	sunlight	,	where	they	quickly	flare	up	into	ashes	.	the	scene	is	effectively	scary	yet	sets	up	the	film's	darkly	humorous	tone	as	well	.	after	this	beginning	,	however	,	the	movie	slows	to	a	crawl	for	about	half	an	hour	as	the	major	conflict	between	jack	crow	and	the	original	vamp	valek	is	set	up	.	whether	you	like	john	carpenter's	vampires	or	not	will	largely	depend	upon	whether	or	not	you	like	the	actors	.	james	woods	does	a	wickedly	fun	turn	as	the	lead	vampire	slayer	.	he	brings	a	manic	energy	which	fits	the	character	perfectly	.	thomas	ian	griffith	deserves	an	equal	nod	as	the	very	effective	valek	.	he	informs	the	vampire	with	a	menacing	quality	equal	to	that	of	other	classic	actors	like	bela	lugosi	.	if	you	do	not	like	these	actors	,	especially	woods	,	however	,	you	probably	won't	like	this	movie	,	as	it	serves	almost	like	a	vehicle	for	the	two	.	as	a	side	note	,	the	highly	respected	maximilian	schell	does	a	supporting	role	here	this	makes	two	so	so	hollywood	movies	he's	appeared	in	this	year	(	the	other	being	the	somewhat	cheesy	deep	impact	)	.	john	carpenter's	vampires	is	remarkedly	different	from	the	other	horror	movies	released	this	past	month	and	a	half	in	that	not	even	a	single	teenager	graces	the	screen	.	bride	of	chucky	,	urban	legend	,	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	.	.	.	all	of	them	center	upon	teenagers	.	john	carpenter's	vampires	features	an	entirely	adult	cast	.	this	doesn't	necessarily	mean	the	behavior	of	these	characters	,	however	,	is	any	more	informed	by	intelligence	.	people	do	stupid	things	in	this	movie	just	like	any	other	horror	movie	.	one	of	the	reasons	,	though	,	that	i	only	give	this	film	three	stars	is	the	attitude	the	main	characters	have	.	jack	crow	and	tony	montoya	are	uncomfortably	misogynistic	.	they	kidnap	a	prostitute	who	has	been	bitten	by	valek	and	treat	her	like	absolute	crud	.	although	she	is	turning	into	a	vampire	,	their	treatment	of	her	still	seems	cruel	and	passionless	.	the	storyline's	only	major	fault	is	to	suggest	that	montoya	falls	in	love	with	her	.	crow's	treatment	of	members	of	the	catholic	priesthood	will	probably	offend	some	too	.	in	one	scene	,	for	instance	,	crow	kicks	the	crap	out	of	a	priest	to	get	information	,	then	asks	the	priest	whether	he	was	turned	on	by	the	abuse	or	not	.	despite	these	faults	,	the	final	hour	of	john	carpenter's	vampires	picks	up	speed	and	is	highly	entertaining	.	not	much	more	may	be	said	without	giving	away	some	of	the	plot's	resolution	;	however	,	the	final	showdown	between	crow's	"	gang	"	and	valek's	"	posse	"	in	a	deserted	town	combines	the	genres	of	the	western	and	horror	quite	well	.	ultimately	,	sitting	through	the	first	half	hour	is	rewarded	by	the	finale	.	john	carpenter's	vampires	is	deservedly	rated	r	.	it	contains	many	scenes	of	graphic	violence	,	some	nudity	,	and	several	words	and	phrases	which	will	never	make	it	to	commercial	network	tv	.	this	one's	worth	catching	before	it	comes	out	on	video	.	you	could	probably	still	see	it	at	a	second	run	,	bargain	theater	for	the	next	several	weeks	.
pos	this	reviewer	is	ignorant	of	what	hands	were	responsible	for	delivering	the	original	version	of	the	abyss	in	1989	.	whether	it	was	the	meddling	of	studio	executives	,	or	the	work	of	writer	director	james	cameron	himself	,	the	original	cut	of	this	underwater	sci	fi	thriller	was	entertaining	enough	but	also	quite	seriously	flawed	.	the	main	problem	was	fairly	simple	:	the	film's	climax	was	unworthy	of	its	build	up	.	someone	at	20th	century	fox	and	no	doubt	cameron	himself	must	have	agreed	,	because	in	1993	came	the	theatrical	release	of	the	abyss	:	special	edition	.	now	available	on	video	,	it	seems	timely	to	re	evaluate	what	,	in	its	newly	revamped	state	,	is	now	a	near	masterpiece	despite	its	borrowings	from	films	like	2010	:	odyssey	two	,	alien	and	close	encounters	of	third	kind	.	the	plot	is	thus	.	we	meet	the	crew	of	an	experimental	underwater	mobile	oil	rig	designed	by	the	hard	nosed	lindsay	(	mastrantonio	)	and	captained	by	her	soon	to	be	divorced	husband	bud	(	ed	harris	)	.	the	rig	and	its	crew	are	diverted	from	their	normal	duties	when	the	navy	seeks	their	help	in	investigating	the	mysterious	sinking	of	a	u	.	s	.	nuclear	submarine	.	requiring	a	dive	part	way	down	a	three	mile	deep	trench	,	three	navy	divers	arrive	to	command	the	operation	,	led	by	the	edgy	lieutenant	coffey	(	biehn	)	.	but	a	series	of	strange	sightings	soon	convinces	at	least	one	member	of	the	civilian	crew	that	whoever	or	whatever	they're	dealing	with	,	as	she	memorably	puts	it	,	"	aren't	speaking	russian	"	.	meanwhile	on	the	surface	a	hurricane	is	brewing	and	,	even	worse	,	a	series	of	incidents	around	cuba	involving	russians	ships	and	an	increasingly	nervous	u	.	s	.	navy	sets	off	an	international	crisis	of	possible	catastrophic	proportions	.	this	crisis	is	mirrored	in	the	confines	of	the	now	isolated	underwater	rig	,	with	the	trigger	happy	and	increasingly	paranoid	lieutenant	coffey	at	odds	with	the	crew	about	how	do	deal	with	the	mysterious	goings	on	around	them	.	the	human	drama	is	often	riveting	,	with	the	principal	players	performing	with	an	intensity	that	recalls	the	fine	ensemble	acting	in	cameron's	aliens	.	the	stunts	,	hardware	,	special	effects	and	underwater	cinematography	are	all	outstanding	.	and	so	they	should	be	:	cameron's	technical	credentials	are	well	established	.	but	what	ultimately	makes	the	film	so	gripping	is	three	intersecting	plot	strands	:	1	)	the	tension	between	old	sparring	partners	lindsay	and	ex	hubby	bud	;	2	)	the	war	of	wills	between	the	civilian	crew	and	the	navy	divers	as	a	series	of	escalating	crisis'	befall	them	;	and	3	)	the	slowly	unfolding	revelation	of	what	lies	at	the	bottom	of	the	three	mile	deep	abyss	.	the	abyss	:	special	edition	is	an	improvement	on	the	original	film	in	two	major	respects	.	one	is	that	it	further	fleshes	out	the	relationship	between	bud	and	lindsay	,	a	relationship	at	times	touching	,	at	others	incredibly	intense	and	volatile	.	the	second	improvement	is	the	restoration	of	some	absolutely	crucial	scenes	towards	the	film's	end	,	when	the	aliens	demonstrate	their	control	over	water	with	a	terrifying	and	extraordinary	display	of	power	to	a	world	on	the	brink	of	nuclear	war	.	with	the	inclusion	of	these	startling	scenes	,	the	story's	climax	is	now	given	real	weight	.	why	on	earth	were	they	left	out	of	the	original	?	this	reviewer	finds	it	utterly	incomprehensible	.	so	then	,	we	have	25	minutes	of	additional	footage	that's	turned	a	decent	underwater	thriller	into	something	quite	magnificent	.	i	say	"	quite	"	because	some	flaws	do	remain	.	the	most	grating	is	several	moments	of	corny	hollywood	schmaltz	some	new	,	some	old	that	may	well	have	you	reaching	for	the	barf	bag	.	nonetheless	,	the	abyss	:	special	edition	now	stands	this	somewhat	maligned	film	among	james	cameron's	greatest	achievements	,	alongside	aliens	and	terminator	2	.	see	it	and	be	moved	,	gripped	and	spellbound	.
pos	"	through	a	spyglass	,	i	could	see	everything	.	"	king	louis	xvi	was	beheaded	on	january	21	,	1793	,	but	instead	of	visualizing	this	act	of	regicide	,	legendary	auteur	eric	rohmer's	the	lady	and	the	duke	observes	from	afar	.	consider	it	a	view	to	a	kill	made	abstract	.	a	proper	british	(	yes	,	british	)	gentlewoman	,	grace	elliott	(	lucy	russell	)	,	and	her	loyal	maidservant	gaze	from	a	lofty	terrace	in	meudon	at	the	glistening	city	of	paris	,	where	raucous	crowds	seem	tinier	than	ants	.	the	maid	narrates	what	little	she	sees	of	the	execution	through	her	telescope	(	often	muttering	,	"	i	don't	know	,	"	)	as	the	sound	of	cheering	patriots	and	revolutionaries	echoes	through	the	air	.	what	we	don't	see	might	not	be	able	to	hurt	us	.	just	close	your	eyes	and	think	of	england	.	during	times	of	revolution	,	the	aristocracy	may	feel	a	false	sense	of	calm	in	their	parlor	halls	,	discussing	tumultuous	events	over	glasses	of	sherry	until	the	walls	cave	in	on	them	.	adapted	from	elliott's	memoirs	,	journal	of	my	life	during	the	french	revolution	,	rohmer's	latest	artistic	tour	de	force	may	seem	far	removed	from	his	domestic	comedies	(	tales	of	the	four	seasons	,	etc	.	)	,	a	period	film	set	during	the	most	violent	changes	in	french	history	.	resisting	the	temptation	for	grand	scale	theatrics	,	much	of	the	lady	and	the	duke	is	about	quiet	,	decisive	moments	between	members	of	the	cultural	elite	as	they	determine	how	to	proceed	as	the	world	implodes	.	grace	elliott	makes	for	an	unlikely	protagonist	:	a	headstrong	,	snobbish	blueblood	,	one	unprepared	for	the	machinations	of	history	that	sweep	her	along	.	a	foreigner	who	accepts	the	french	king	as	her	own	,	grace's	life	seems	defined	by	fancy	attire	and	lively	political	debate	with	her	former	lover	,	the	king's	hot	blooded	cousin	,	prince	philipe	,	duke	of	orleans	(	jean	claude	dreyfus	)	.	the	times	are	changing	,	though	,	and	the	gears	inch	ever	closer	toward	violence	.	during	the	september	massacres	of	1792	,	she	is	encountered	by	a	procession	of	rioters	brandishing	the	head	of	the	duke's	sister	in	law	on	a	stake	.	rohmer	makes	a	harsh	transition	from	tranquil	,	old	fashioned	,	almost	stagy	parlor	scenes	to	the	swell	of	an	angry	mob	.	in	doing	so	,	he	achieves	what	braveheart	and	the	patriot	could	not	:	the	face	of	death	.	when	grace	sees	her	friend's	disembodied	head	on	a	pole	,	rohmer's	attention	drifts	from	the	societal	change	to	one	woman's	reaction	shot	,	laden	with	hot	tears	.	grace	finds	herself	taking	in	a	fugitive	from	justice	,	sheltering	him	from	the	mob	.	through	her	relationship	with	the	duke	,	she	seeks	a	passport	for	this	one	activist's	escape	.	grace	doesn't	even	understand	her	own	actions	(	and	the	duke	reacts	in	stunned	disbelief	at	how	she	places	herself	in	such	danger	)	.	she	endures	persecution	from	robespierre	and	his	gang	of	thuggish	equalizers	,	ceaseless	police	monitoring	,	house	searches	,	even	a	brief	imprisonment	for	harmless	international	correspondence	.	maintaining	her	stiff	upper	lip	and	pampered	life	(	her	imperious	attitude	to	the	servants	never	changes	)	,	she	becomes	a	heroine	through	circumstance	.	the	events	themselves	are	intrusions	upon	her	person	,	her	home	,	and	therefore	her	values	.	aristocracy	proves	a	glass	house	,	one	that	can	barely	withstand	the	upheaval	of	stones	.	the	duke	is	called	to	vote	on	the	king's	punishment	,	and	despite	his	hours	of	deliberation	with	friends	and	advisors	,	talk	means	nothing	in	the	face	of	bloody	action	(	or	futile	inaction	)	.	the	episodic	structure	creates	a	wobbly	,	jarring	detachment	from	the	events	of	the	french	revolution	,	which	serves	as	metaphor	but	also	disconnects	potential	audience	identification	.	lazy	viewers	(	and	critics	)	may	also	complain	that	knowledge	of	french	history	is	required	for	enjoyment	of	the	lady	and	the	duke	.	that's	foolery	,	but	brings	up	the	valid	criticism	that	rohmer's	characters	occasionally	become	didactic	.	rohmer's	imperfect	but	assured	push	toward	the	future	remains	staunch	and	notable	for	casting	a	cautious	eye	upon	the	past	while	taking	bold	steps	forward	into	an	uncertain	future	.	what	may	arouse	interest	in	the	lady	and	the	duke	outside	of	foreign	film	enthusiasts	with	literary	and	historical	passions	is	rohmer's	use	of	cutting	edge	digital	technology	as	a	means	of	exploring	the	theme	of	artifice	as	safety	net	or	coping	mechanism	.	the	actors	were	filmed	against	a	bluescreen	,	then	placed	against	painted	backdrops	recreating	the	vastness	of	18th	century	paris	.	this	recreation	calls	attention	to	itself	in	every	shot	,	a	technicolor	dream	of	fanciful	buildings	and	wide	open	streets	.	it	looks	as	phony	as	titanic	,	but	unlike	james	cameron's	debacle	,	the	lady	and	the	duke	plays	with	the	notion	of	false	security	in	those	walls	of	stone	.	why	?	they	aren't	real	.	the	very	foundation	rohmer's	characters	stand	upon	is	false	,	and	in	their	groundlessness	they	must	discover	themselves	,	in	all	their	insubstantial	glory	.	screened	at	the	2001	new	york	film	festival	(	feature	coming	soon	)	.
pos	this	is	the	best	british	gangster	film	since	the	long	good	friday	.	jon	bennet	(	played	by	andrew	howard	)	is	an	extremely	good	assassin	.	as	such	he	is	probably	an	evil	man	but	it	does	not	worry	him	.	he	has	become	an	unquestioning	weapon	.	he	is	in	the	employ	of	a	kingpin	(	david	calder	)	far	more	evil	than	he	is	.	but	even	assassins	have	innocent	pasts	.	he	runs	into	an	old	from	school	days	and	he	is	married	to	a	mutual	girl	friend	from	school	.	complicating	matters	is	that	they	live	near	where	he	had	a	recent	job	and	their	young	daughter	may	have	seen	him	at	the	crime	.	a	big	piece	of	what	makes	this	film	work	is	the	depiction	of	the	kingpin	.	calder	is	a	familiar	actor	in	britain	,	though	not	frequently	seen	in	the	us	.	he	was	seen	in	the	world	is	not	enough	.	here	he	creates	one	of	the	best	screen	villains	in	recent	years	.	he	is	at	once	seductive	and	repellent	like	a	beautiful	venomous	snake	.	his	lair	is	underground	,	apparently	in	a	sewer	,	where	he	lives	like	the	king	of	sewer	rats	.	it	is	the	kingpin	who	pulls	the	strings	that	will	control	bennet's	life	.	paul	sarossy	who	directs	spent	most	of	his	career	as	a	cinematographer	and	like	the	kingpin's	lair	,	he	has	molded	images	of	class	and	style	out	of	the	darkness	.	by	using	semi	darkness	and	letting	the	colors	of	deep	blue	and	black	dominate	every	scene	he	makes	the	film	visually	as	ominous	as	anything	in	this	nether	world	.	this	is	a	world	that	is	cold	and	unfriendly	.	sorossy	creates	a	world	of	violence	much	more	by	what	we	hear	than	what	we	see	.	this	is	a	film	with	a	great	deal	of	physical	violence	occurring	just	out	of	reach	.	we	see	very	little	but	we	hear	a	great	deal	more	and	we	imagine	more	than	that	.	the	screenplay	is	by	peter	waddington	based	on	the	novel	by	neil	cross	,	but	it	is	sarossy's	film	all	the	way	.	it	creates	indelible	images	of	evil	.	i	rate	it	an	8	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	low	3	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.	(	i	do	hope	they	do	not	use	the	tagline	"	don't	mess	with	mr	.	in	between	.	"	)
pos	an	entertaining	2	hours	awaits	the	audience	in	this	film	set	in	the	early	80's	.	sevigny	and	beckinsale	play	disco	chicks	alice	and	charlotte	,	who	are	on	the	lookout	for	love	.	alice	is	mousy	,	shy	,	intellectual	,	charlotte	is	bitchy	,	out	going	and	fun	.	we	join	their	adventures	as	they	go	through	a	variety	of	adventures	,	and	men	,	all	to	the	background	of	the	local	disco	.	whit	stillman	has	both	written	and	directed	an	interesting	and	believable	story	.	alice	and	charlotte	are	both	well	written	characters	,	and	the	actresses	who	play	them	aren't	bad	aswell	.	sevigny	delivers	an	honest	performance	,	and	makes	the	audience	feel	for	her	character	.	beckinsale	plays	extreme	bitch	personified	,	yet	her	character	never	becomes	completely	unlikeable	.	the	huge	supporting	cast	also	play	a	part	in	making	sure	this	movie	is	thoroughly	entertaining	.	the	dialogue	is	sharp	and	well	written	,	with	many	funny	set	pieces	.	for	example	,	there's	a	great	discussion	about	lady	the	tramp	by	the	main	characters	.	the	disco	tunes	playing	in	the	background	also	make	sure	that	this	admittedly	long	film	is	good	fun	.	the	direction	is	good	,	bringing	out	the	drama	and	comedy	in	the	scenes	.	but	their	are	slight	flaws	with	the	movie	.	firstly	,	although	it	is	supposedly	set	in	the	80's	,	the	characters	are	very	,	very	90's	.	the	way	they	dress	and	act	have	a	very	90's	feel	to	them	.	although	the	male	hairstyles	look	slightly	80's	,	frankly	the	80's	atmosphere	just	wasn't	conveyed	,	which	is	a	shame	.	also	,	as	mentioned	above	,	the	film	is	too	long	,	and	some	parts	do	lag	.	the	charm	of	the	characters	do	help	these	moments	,	but	generally	the	editing	could	of	been	a	bit	tighter	.	the	plot	also	side	tracks	into	a	silly	cocaine	dealing	bust	,	which	seemed	out	of	place	in	this	movie	.	finally	,	their	are	almost	too	many	characters	in	the	film	,	and	despite	the	running	time	,	the	film	never	really	spends	enough	time	on	them	.	some	of	the	characters	are	very	slight	,	which	is	a	shame	.	the	conclusion	,	while	funny	,	is	also	surprisingly	weak	,	and	certainly	not	strong	enough	.	but	despite	these	qualms	,	the	last	days	of	disco	is	a	funny	,	warm	movie	,	which	is	certainly	worth	seeing	,	and	is	a	fitting	homage	to	the	disco	era	of	the	80's	.	worth	a	look	.
pos	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	this	review	has	been	submitted	to	the	shrubbery	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	com	a	any	comments	about	this	review	?	e	mail	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	"	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	a	screen	story	by	kevin	yagher	and	andrew	kevin	walker	.	inspired	by	the	short	story	the	legend	of	sleepy	hollow	by	washington	irving	.
pos	shallow	grave	(	out	of	four	)	r	,	1995	directed	by	danny	boyle	.	written	by	john	hodge	.	starring	ewan	mcgregor	,	kerry	fox	,	christopher	eccleston	.	while	watching	"	shallow	grave	,	"	i	found	myself	periodically	noticing	thematic	similarities	to	the	coens'	"	blood	simple	.	"	both	are	good	films	in	which	several	characters	,	none	of	whom	are	the	most	conscientious	to	have	walked	the	earth	but	still	are	not	really	evil	,	indulge	in	an	act	of	deception	that	soon	necessitates	more	serious	crimes	.	the	body	count	rises	,	and	before	long	seemingly	normal	people	have	blood	on	their	hands	.	both	films	are	also	flawed	,	but	for	different	reasons	.	"	blood	simple	"	is	unrelentingly	dark	and	moody	,	but	its	characterizations	were	a	little	hollow	.	"	shallow	grave	,	"	on	the	other	hand	,	is	nearly	flawless	for	an	hour	and	twenty	minutes	,	and	then	the	filmmakers	throw	away	much	of	what	they'd	accomplished	for	a	more	standard	,	audience	pleasing	ending	.	the	events	of	the	film	were	sufficiently	intense	and	disturbing	that	i	honestly	felt	quite	troubled	by	what	i	was	witnessing	on	screen	most	of	the	time	,	yet	there	was	a	slight	grin	on	my	face	at	the	end	.	as	the	film	begins	,	we	are	introduced	to	alex	(	ewan	mcgregor	)	,	juliet	(	kerry	fox	)	,	and	david	(	christopher	eccleston	)	,	a	scottish	trio	living	in	an	apartment	in	glasgow	.	they	are	all	sarcastic	and	occasionally	obnoxious	,	but	other	than	that	they	seem	like	a	fairly	normal	bunch	.	a	man	named	hugo	moves	into	the	apartment's	remaining	vacancy	,	and	the	next	morning	he	is	found	dead	of	a	drug	overdose	.	juliet	is	about	to	call	the	police	when	alex	discovers	that	hugo	had	brought	with	him	a	suitcase	filled	to	the	brim	with	cash	(	presumably	from	criminal	activities	)	.	the	three	eventually	decide	to	keep	the	money	and	cover	up	the	death	;	after	a	drawing	of	straws	,	the	particularly	unenviable	task	of	mutilating	the	body	so	as	to	make	it	unidentifiable	and	burying	it	falls	to	david	,	who	had	been	the	most	reluctant	to	partake	in	the	scheme	from	the	beginning	.	all	of	this	transpires	in	the	first	twenty	minutes	or	so	of	the	film	,	and	part	of	what	makes	"	shallow	grave	"	so	brilliant	for	a	while	is	that	i	honestly	had	no	idea	what	was	coming	next	.	other	than	the	obvious	question	of	why	they	don't	report	the	death	and	simply	hide	the	cash	,	which	is	not	addressed	,	the	plotting	and	characterization	,	while	sometimes	predictable	,	worked	in	a	way	that	kept	my	attention	and	,	on	more	than	one	occasion	,	gave	me	chills	.	i	will	,	therefore	,	attempt	to	continue	this	review	in	a	way	that	doesn't	give	away	too	much	of	the	plot	.	broadly	,	the	trio	are	in	danger	due	to	hugo's	underworld	connections	,	as	two	goons	search	for	the	money	and	kill	several	people	in	the	process	.	a	police	inspector	(	ken	stott	)	is	clearly	suspicious	and	visits	the	apartment	,	asking	pointed	questions	and	trying	to	unnerve	the	three	suspects	by	exchanging	banal	and	weirdly	humorous	bits	of	dialogue	with	a	junior	detective	.	david	,	meanwhile	,	becomes	increasingly	paranoid	,	moves	into	the	attic	,	and	develops	an	affinity	for	sharp	objects	.	director	danny	boyle	effectively	creates	an	atmosphere	of	mounting	tension	and	suspicion	in	the	apartment	,	and	finally	the	three	seem	ready	to	turn	against	each	other	.	while	i	do	not	consider	myself	the	"	happy	endings	are	automatically	stupid	"	type	,	i	thought	that	"	shallow	grave	"	really	should	have	ended	in	tragedy	a	realistic	analysis	of	the	story	up	to	the	last	ten	minutes	of	the	film	would	indicate	that	all	three	characters	were	probably	about	to	end	up	in	prison	,	in	the	mental	hospital	,	or	in	the	morgue	.	this	could	have	been	accomplished	,	quite	credibly	,	but	then	boyle	and	screenwriter	john	hodge	seem	to	flinch	and	opt	for	a	more	conventional	"	caper	"	ending	in	which	we	get	a	kick	out	of	seeing	who	outsmarted	whom	,	and	nothing	more	.	granted	,	this	isn't	really	a	"	happy	"	ending	,	but	it's	still	pretty	light	hearted	compared	to	what	preceded	it	.	i	really	shouldn't	say	anything	more	about	the	ending	as	far	as	details	go	,	but	let	me	add	that	it	seemed	not	only	shallow	and	lazy	but	also	inconsistent	with	the	rest	of	the	film	and	not	very	believable	.	yes	,	this	ending	made	me	crack	a	smile	for	a	couple	of	minutes	,	but	ultimately	it	left	me	feeling	as	if	i'd	been	cheated	.	still	,	"	shallow	grave	"	was	brilliant	most	of	the	way	through	,	and	it	does	at	least	meet	the	minimum	requirements	for	an	entertaining	thriller	,	and	i	am	therefore	awarding	it	three	stars	.	i	guess	i	just	can't	help	but	think	about	that	fourth	star	that	boyle	and	hodge	let	slip	away	.
pos	1	2	(	out	of	4	)	will	hunting	(	matt	damon	)	is	a	natural	genius	.	for	a	movie	character	,	that's	usually	a	death	sentence	.	it's	a	trait	associated	with	what	my	brother	calls	"	too	good	for	this	world	"	movies	,	like	phenomenon	or	powder	.	forgive	me	for	spoiling	the	ending	,	but	will	doesn't	die	.	this	is	no	formula	movie	.	in	fact	,	it's	quite	fresh	and	original	.	it's	a	character	study	more	than	anything	,	and	that's	not	surprising	,	considering	it	was	written	by	two	actors	:	damon	and	co	star	ben	affleck	.	will	works	whatever	kind	of	job	he	can	get	.	first	he's	a	janitor	,	then	he	works	construction	.	off	screen	he	speed	reads	books	on	any	academic	subject	that	interests	him	.	on	screen	he	hangs	out	with	his	friends	,	picking	fights	in	robust	,	romanticized	hemingway	fashion	.	lambeau	(	stellan	skarsgard	from	breaking	the	waves	)	,	a	math	professor	,	learns	that	the	janitor	(	will	)	is	a	genius	with	a	special	talent	for	advanced	mathematics	.	having	confirmed	he's	not	a	fluke	or	a	savant	,	he	does	what	he	can	to	get	will	into	the	education	system	.	he	is	firmly	rejected	.	finally	,	will	lands	in	jail	for	one	of	his	fights	.	lambeau	can	get	him	probation	instead	of	prison	time	as	long	as	will	agrees	to	therapy	sessions	and	to	discussing	mathematics	with	him	.	will	(	barely	)	decides	to	go	for	the	therapy	over	prison	.	lambeau	treats	will	like	a	son	.	he's	proud	of	,	and	amazed	by	,	will's	accomplishments	in	mathematics	.	he	encourages	will	and	tries	to	give	him	structure	,	knowing	that	,	with	a	little	discipline	,	he	could	be	bigger	than	einstein	.	will	isn't	really	interested	in	academia	.	he	knows	he	would	be	the	best	in	his	field	,	and	therefore	spend	all	of	his	time	in	an	office	,	explaining	math	to	people	like	lambeau	.	he	would	rather	work	construction	,	which	breaks	lambeau's	heart	.	meanwhile	,	will	attends	his	mandated	therapy	sessions	.	it's	not	long	before	he	shreds	all	the	therapists	on	lambeau's	"	a	"	list	.	will	has	read	enough	psychology	to	know	the	tricks	of	the	trade	,	and	how	to	keep	them	from	affecting	him	.	shrink	after	shrink	refuses	to	return	after	will's	mockery	.	lambeau's	last	hope	is	his	old	college	roommate	,	now	a	psychology	teacher	at	a	small	time	community	college	.	knowing	that	will	is	going	to	try	to	shred	him	too	,	sean	(	robin	williams	)	agrees	to	take	him	on	as	a	favor	to	lambeau	and	for	the	chance	to	meet	this	next	einstein	.	true	to	form	,	will	finds	sean's	emotional	weakness	and	attacks	.	but	unlike	the	other	shrinks	,	sean	knows	what	he	is	in	for	and	continues	the	sessions	.	like	a	foster	mother	with	a	fussy	child	,	sean	knows	that	the	attacks	are	defensive	and	is	able	to	take	them	in	stride	.	like	the	foster	mother	,	sean	knows	that	time	and	quiet	patience	is	the	only	approach	.	robin	williams	is	excellent	in	this	role	.	he's	not	an	actor	with	a	great	range	,	but	in	the	right	roles	he	has	great	depth	.	in	this	movie	,	as	in	awakenings	,	there	comes	a	point	when	the	quiet	,	shy	man	accomplishes	something	of	great	personal	importance	,	and	a	smile	of	pure	joy	spreads	up	to	his	eyes	.	williams	is	the	only	actor	i	can	name	who	can	make	an	audience	cry	just	by	smiling	.	i	have	compared	will	to	a	foster	child	and	that's	not	entirely	fair	.	emotionally	,	he	has	a	lot	to	learn	,	but	he	is	not	a	child	.	he	has	thought	about	his	life	and	made	rational	decisions	about	what	he	wants	.	sean	,	his	girlfriend	,	his	pals	,	and	lambeau	all	help	him	grow	,	but	he	didn't	start	out	asking	for	,	or	particularly	needing	,	help	.	his	exceptional	gift	singled	him	out	,	and	those	who	love	him	kept	pushing	him	in	the	right	direction	.	if	i	had	to	say	anything	bad	about	good	will	hunting	is	that	it	walks	the	line	between	drama	and	melodrama	.	it's	too	sentimental	and	uplifiting	for	a	straight	drama	,	but	the	emotions	are	too	subtle	for	melodrama	.	it	is	emotionally	engaging	,	but	it's	not	quite	larger	than	life	.	this	isn't	a	problem	per	se	,	but	at	times	i	didn't	know	quite	how	to	take	it	.	but	this	is	a	relatively	small	complaint	about	a	very	good	movie	.	a	good	movie	allows	its	characters	to	learn	and	grow	.	it	doesn't	just	happen	;	it	takes	a	good	script	,	good	acting	,	and	good	direction	.	good	will	hunting	has	all	three	.	if	you	are	at	all	inclined	to	see	it	,	by	all	means	,	go	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	rating	:	1	2	out	of	8	.	0	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	al	pacino	(	tony	montana	)	,	steven	bauer	(	manolo	manny	ray	)	,	michelle	pfeiffer	(	elvira	)	,	mary	elizabeth	mastrantonio	(	gina	)	,	robert	loggia	(	frank	lopez	)	director	:	brian	depalma	certification	:	r	(	usa	)	for	excessive	language	and	violence	year	of	production	:	1983	scarface	,	a	remake	of	the	1932	film	of	the	same	name	,	is	a	very	gripping	and	,	as	far	as	i	know	,	a	true	to	life	story	of	how	power	and	violence	lead	to	corruption	.	al	pacino	,	as	tony	montana	(	for	whom	the	movie	is	named	)	,	also	provides	a	brilliant	performance	as	a	cuban	refugee	who	comes	to	america	with	less	than	nothing	and	becomes	one	of	the	most	highly	respected	and	feared	drug	lords	in	miami	.	oliver	stone	also	penned	the	screenplay	in	one	of	his	earlier	writing	roles	.	the	film	begins	by	disclosing	the	story	of	now	fidel	castro	ordered	thousands	of	cubans	to	set	sail	and	head	for	the	coasts	of	the	united	states	.	many	of	these	cubans	had	criminal	records	,	such	as	tony	montana	,	a	cocky	,	fast	talking	man	who	has	the	look	of	crime	.	nearly	right	after	his	arrival	in	miami	,	tony	is	thrust	into	the	gangster	life	when	he	participates	in	a	cocaine	buy	that	goes	awry	.	along	with	his	friend	and	partner	,	manolo	(	steven	bauer	)	,	tony	rises	in	the	gangster	ranks	when	he	forms	a	friendship	with	frank	lopez	(	robert	loggia	)	,	a	high	roller	in	the	organized	crime	field	.	tony	also	begins	to	fall	in	love	with	elvira	(	michelle	pfeiffer	)	,	who	at	the	time	was	frank's	lover	.	of	course	,	sooner	or	later	in	this	industry	,	betrayal	and	corruption	amount	into	a	force	greater	than	anything	else	,	and	tony	is	one	of	the	ones	who	fall	victim	to	this	force	.	this	is	not	before	he	becomes	one	of	the	most	respected	,	and	often	feared	,	men	in	miami	.	tony	gets	to	the	point	where	he	cannot	trust	anyone	,	and	everyone	he	knows	basically	feels	the	same	way	towards	him	.	no	one	can	trust	him	,	and	basically	,	no	one	does	.	scarface	,	although	incredibly	violent	,	is	one	of	the	best	crime	films	of	its	time	and	stands	out	as	another	great	performance	for	al	pacino	.	although	he	did	not	receive	any	recognition	from	the	academy	for	his	performance	,	it	truly	is	a	very	good	one	.	in	fact	,	his	accent	and	facial	movements	alone	are	enough	in	my	mind	to	win	at	least	a	nomination	(	although	he	did	get	a	golden	globe	nomination	)	.	another	element	that	stands	out	when	someone	mentions	this	film	is	the	profanity	.	a	figure	tagged	to	the	film	boasts	that	the	word	"	fuck	"	and	it's	uses	are	uttered	206	times	throughout	the	film	,	which	is	apparently	a	record	.	the	thing	is	,	the	vulgarity	fits	rather	well	with	the	movie	.	as	odd	as	it	sounds	,	it's	true	.	in	the	end	,	scarface	is	a	very	powerful	film	that	hits	home	hard	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	directed	by	james	wong	.	cast	:	devon	sawa	,	ali	larter	,	kerr	smith	,	seann	william	scott	,	kristen	cloke	,	amanda	detmer	,	chad	e	.	donella	,	daniel	roebuck	,	roger	guenveur	smith	,	brendan	fehr	.	2000	95	minutes	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	gore	,	and	profanity	)	.	reviewed	by	dustin	putman	,	march	18	,	2000	.	have	you	ever	wondered	if	death	is	something	that	simply	happens	naturally	,	at	any	given	moment	,	in	life	?	or	if	it	is	an	occurrence	that	is	predetermined	by	some	much	larger	force	within	the	world	,	or	outside	of	it	?	these	thought	provoking	questions	are	the	subject	of	"	final	destination	,	"	which	is	the	most	riveting	horror	drama	since	1999's	"	the	sixth	sense	.	"	stylishly	filmed	and	tautly	directed	by	"	x	files	"	alum	james	wong	,	the	film	deals	with	several	fairly	heavy	topics	that	are	discussed	truthfully	by	teenage	characters	(	in	accurately	written	"	teen	speak	,	"	rather	than	overwrought	,	highly	intellectualized	dialogue	that	even	harvard	scholars	wouldn't	use	)	,	all	the	while	developing	into	a	darkly	foreboding	,	severely	eerie	thriller	that	successfully	leaves	you	uneasy	from	the	horrifyingly	real	opening	twenty	minutes	to	the	less	successful	,	but	still	suspenseful	epilogue	.	at	the	start	of	the	film	,	17	year	old	high	school	senior	alex	browning	(	devon	sawa	)	is	about	to	leave	with	his	40	student	french	class	for	a	field	trip	to	paris	.	progressively	getting	a	case	of	preflight	jitters	,	he	spots	several	mysterious	"	coincidences	,	"	including	the	departure	time	being	9	:	25	,	the	same	as	his	september	25	birthday	,	as	well	as	hearing	the	john	denver	song	"	rocky	mountain	high	"	over	the	sound	system	in	the	airport	bathroom	.	"	john	denver	died	in	a	plane	crash	,	"	alex	grudgingly	mutters	to	himself	.	once	seated	,	alex	suddenly	gets	a	horrific	premonition	about	the	plane	exploding	upon	takeoff	,	and	after	causing	a	ruckus	onboard	,	he	,	as	well	as	six	other	students	and	a	teacher	,	are	thrown	off	.	arguing	in	the	airport	lobby	,	alex's	suspicion	comes	true	when	the	plane	really	does	explode	in	flight	,	killing	all	300	passengers	,	including	the	rest	of	their	classmates	.	as	two	investigators	interrogate	alex	about	how	he	knew	the	plane	was	going	to	explode	,	the	fellow	survivors	,	whom	he	has	saved	,	treat	him	in	varying	manners	.	carter	(	kerr	smith	)	,	the	hotshot	jock	,	holds	him	in	contempt	because	he	believes	that	it	is	only	he	himself	who	can	decide	his	fate	.	alex's	best	friend	,	tod	(	chad	e	.	donella	)	,	wants	to	stand	by	him	but	can't	because	of	his	fearful	parents	.	the	teacher	,	mrs	.	lewton	(	kristen	cloke	)	,	is	frightened	by	him	,	believing	that	it	was	he	who	somehow	caused	the	disaster	,	as	well	as	in	a	state	of	guilt	for	giving	up	her	seat	on	the	plane	to	a	fellow	coworker	.	only	outsider	clear	rivers	(	ali	larter	)	,	who	unboarded	the	plane	due	to	a	sudden	connection	to	alex's	premonition	even	though	she	had	never	even	spoken	to	him	before	,	is	sympathetic	and	thankful	to	him	for	saving	her	life	.	that	is	only	the	setup	of	"	final	destination	,	"	and	the	less	said	about	what	follows	,	the	better	.	suffice	to	say	,	the	film	does	,	indeed	,	turn	into	a	slasher	film	,	albeit	one	that	is	more	thoughtful	than	most	,	and	replaces	a	knife	wielding	maniac	for	the	never	seen	granddaddy	killer	of	them	all	,	the	grim	reaper	itself	.	the	setpieces	in	any	horror	movie	are	the	death	scenes	,	and	"	final	destination	"	surely	boosts	some	of	the	most	inventive	ones	to	grace	the	silver	screen	in	years	.	graphic	and	brilliantly	orchestrated	in	a	rube	goldbergesque	manner	,	they	manage	to	occasionally	be	so	intense	you	don't	know	whether	to	shrink	down	in	your	seat	,	tap	your	feet	in	nervousness	,	or	turn	away	.	devon	sawa	,	a	rising	star	who	put	his	physical	comedy	skills	to	good	use	in	1999's	underseen	slasher	comedy	,	"	idle	hands	,	"	is	even	more	of	a	charismatic	presence	here	.	the	conflicting	emotions	he	feels	for	his	survival	,	which	he	comes	to	believe	he	wasn't	meant	to	do	,	as	well	as	the	loss	of	the	other	passengers	,	is	superbly	and	subtly	acted	on	his	part	.	one	scene	,	in	which	he	is	watching	a	news	report	on	the	crash	and	slowly	begins	to	break	down	is	especially	realistic	and	powerful	.	ali	larter	(	1999's	"	varsity	blues	"	)	,	in	the	other	central	role	,	is	also	effective	,	as	a	girl	whose	life	was	going	well	until	her	father	died	in	a	convenience	store	shooting	years	before	,	leaving	her	stuck	with	an	increasingly	uncaring	mother	who	married	a	loutish	man	the	exact	opposite	of	her	now	deceased	father	.	the	other	roles	are	not	as	fully	written	,	and	most	remain	rather	one	dimensional	.	the	movie	is	mainly	sawa's	,	however	,	and	the	rest	of	the	actors	equip	themselves	well	in	limited	roles	.	tony	todd	(	1992's	"	candyman	"	)	,	as	an	arcane	morgue	attendant	,	pops	up	for	a	five	minute	cameo	,	but	his	appearance	is	rather	supererogatory	.	and	the	aforementioned	dialogue	occasionally	hits	the	bullseye	,	while	at	other	times	it	hovers	over	being	just	a	little	too	stilted	and	campy	.	ultimately	,	what	is	so	good	about	"	final	destination	"	is	that	,	within	the	confines	of	the	slasher	genre	,	writer	director	wong	and	screenwriters	glen	morgan	and	jeffrey	reddick	have	created	a	premise	that	has	never	been	seen	before	in	this	manner	,	and	a	film	that	has	the	ability	to	both	surprise	and	frighten	two	things	that	are	rarely	found	in	today's	horror	films	.	if	anything	,	it's	safe	to	say	you	will	never	ever	look	at	flying	in	airplanes	the	same	way	again	.
pos	directors	:	john	lasseter	and	andrew	stanton	writers	:	don	mcenery	,	bob	shaw	,	and	andrew	stanton	(	story	by	john	lasseter	,	bob	shaw	,	and	andrew	stanton	)	starring	:	dave	foley	,	kevin	spacey	,	julia	louis	dreyfus	,	hayden	panettiere	,	phyllis	diller	,	richard	kind	,	david	hyde	pierce	,	joe	ranft	,	denis	leary	,	jonathan	harris	,	madeline	kahn	,	bonnie	hunt	,	michael	mcshane	,	john	ratzenberger	,	brad	garret	,	roddy	mcdowell	,	edie	mcclurg	,	alex	rocco	"	a	bug's	life	"	may	not	be	"	toy	story	,	"	but	it's	more	close	than	"	antz	"	was	.	i	really	liked	"	antz	,	"	basically	because	,	yes	,	it	is	clever	and	witty	and	intelligent	(	and	it	has	the	temerity	to	take	a	chance	and	put	woody	allen	in	the	lead	,	perhaps	the	year's	most	inspired	casting	)	,	but	there	was	,	in	fact	,	something	missing	from	it	,	and	i'm	the	first	to	admit	that	.	maybe	it's	that	it	never	totally	lets	go	and	takes	off	into	real	innocent	fun	it's	too	obsessed	with	its	orwellian	message	to	become	totally	engaging	,	and	if	it	weren't	for	woody	allen	,	it	would	have	been	just	a	really	clever	good	not	great	flick	.	"	a	bug's	life	"	has	a	similar	premise	,	and	it	also	has	disney	to	insure	that	it's	g	rated	and	not	totally	over	kids'	heads	like	"	antz	"	was	(	not	a	bad	thing	,	believe	me	)	,	but	what	it	also	has	is	a	tone	that's	completely	innocent	even	when	it's	also	remaining	perpetually	clever	.	"	antz	"	is	still	the	more	witty	film	,	and	i	love	it	for	it	,	and	"	a	bug's	life	"	is	more	for	general	consumption	,	but	it's	also	more	entertaining	.	it	broadens	its	horizons	,	and	when	it	really	moves	from	the	ant	colony	,	it	really	shows	us	a	whole	new	world	we've	never	seen	before	,	and	it's	take	on	the	evolution	of	bugs	is	a	lot	better	than	the	one	in	"	antz	.	"	it's	also	light	and	clever	.	the	visuals	are	,	instead	of	earth	tones	,	bright	worldly	colors	,	and	still	gives	the	amazing	visual	technology	of	"	antz	"	at	least	a	worthy	contender	.	the	characters	are	also	nicely	realized	though	watered	down	for	broad	consumption	,	they	still	carry	more	wit	than	the	contemporary	disney	animated	films	.	the	lead	character	,	flik	(	voiced	by	dave	foley	)	,	is	nothing	more	than	a	slightly	less	neurotic	z	from	"	antz	,	"	but	foley	makes	him	nearly	as	engaging	as	allen	made	z	.	instead	of	gene	hackman	playing	the	villain	,	we	get	the	much	more	menacing	kevin	spacey	as	the	lead	grasshopper	,	the	nicely	titled	hopper	.	and	for	the	romantic	lead	,	we	don't	get	spacey	sharon	stone	,	but	intelligent	and	hard	to	get	julia	louis	dreyfuss	,	who	doesn't	even	come	around	until	the	very	final	frames	.	not	that	the	plot's	really	any	better	than	the	one	in	"	antz	"	it's	basically	yet	another	redux	of	"	the	seven	samurai	,	"	with	an	ant	colony	under	the	control	of	giant	grasshoppers	forcing	them	to	produce	a	product	for	them	or	else	.	when	flik	,	a	bone	fide	inventor	,	creates	a	time	conserving	apparatus	that	accidentally	destroys	the	season's	donation	,	he	puts	them	all	in	risk	,	and	is	sent	away	so	that	he	won't	screw	anything	up	with	the	pretense	that	he	is	searching	for	help	to	fight	the	grasshoppers	.	he	runs	into	a	group	of	"	warrirors	"	who	are	,	unbeknownst	to	him	,	a	group	of	carnival	bugs	,	and	they	agree	to	help	under	similar	false	pretenses	.	these	bugs	are	an	equally	wonderful	assortment	to	anything	in	"	toy	story	"	:	foppish	walking	stick	slim	(	david	hyde	pierce	)	,	german	caterpillar	heimlich	(	joe	ranft	)	,	quick	tempered	and	insecure	male	ladybug	francis	(	denis	leary	)	,	pretentious	praying	mantis	manny	(	jonathan	harris	)	,	his	assistant	butterfly	hypsy	(	madeliene	kahn	)	,	spider	rosie	(	bonnie	hunt	)	,	and	two	fleas	,	tuck	and	roll	(	michael	mcshane	)	,	who	speak	in	undiscernable	jibberish	.	the	writers	lightly	touch	on	each	bug's	place	in	bug	society	and	the	malleability	thereof	while	making	a	wisecracks	at	everything	they	can	,	and	blowing	the	audience	away	with	wild	visual	treats	.	grasshoppers	jumping	in	unison	seems	like	a	menacing	earthquake	.	a	small	bird	becomes	an	ominous	mortal	threat	,	whose	usual	mild	mannered	squeal	is	a	scream	of	death	.	the	bug	city	is	a	modern	day	metropolis	,	complete	with	fireflies	temping	as	traffic	lights	and	a	fly	sitting	on	the	curb	,	holding	out	a	cup	,	with	a	sign	lying	next	to	him	that	says	"	kid	tore	off	wings	.	"	and	a	rainstorm	is	like	a	giant	flood	,	with	each	drop	acting	like	a	small	bomb	dropped	at	millions	of	miles	per	hour	.	around	this	,	the	pixar	animators	stage	several	large	set	pieces	,	like	a	resuce	mission	halfway	through	that	is	as	wild	and	entertaining	as	anything	this	year	,	and	a	wonderfully	exciting	action	piece	at	the	end	,	a	chase	scene	at	night	through	the	labyrinthine	branches	of	a	small	thicket	.	meanwhile	,	each	character	gets	the	spotlight	to	be	completely	idisyncratic	and	interesting	,	something	"	antz	"	couldn't	do	,	and	by	the	end	,	over	the	end	credits	,	"	a	bug's	life	"	pulls	it's	final	punch	,	out	clever	ing	"	antz	"	with	a	series	of	incessantly	hilarious	faux	bloopers	that	come	just	at	the	right	time	,	when	those	who	leave	immeadiately	after	the	final	frame	of	a	film	have	left	,	and	you	can	brag	that	you	were	one	of	the	elite	who	stayed	and	got	the	full	money's	worth	of	entertainment	.	still	,	it's	no	"	toy	story	.	"	that	film	,	maybe	above	any	animated	film	i've	ever	seen	,	encompassed	almost	true	perfection	in	story	,	character	,	and	wit	.	it	proved	that	it	didn't	need	to	brag	about	it's	cutting	edge	technology	to	really	soar	(	it's	the	least	visually	striking	of	the	three	computer	animated	films	thus	far	,	but	is	still	the	most	satisfying	)	,	and	created	a	perfect	world	of	idiosyncratic	delights	and	innocent	fun	.	yet	"	a	bug's	life	,	"	as	well	as	"	antz	,	"	are	still	amazing	films	,	and	prove	without	doubt	,	that	if	you're	gonna	make	a	computer	animated	film	,	send	it	to	the	guys	who	created	these	three	flicks	,	evne	if	they're	not	working	under	the	same	roof	.
pos	cast	:	tom	cruise	,	thandie	newton	,	ving	rhames	,	dougray	scott	,	william	r	.	mapother	,	anthony	hopkins	,	rade	serbedzija	written	by	:	robert	towne	directed	by	:	john	woo	running	time	:	123	minutes	screening	theater	:	starnet	pablo	9	theaters	jacksonville	beach	,	fl	"	well	this	is	not	mission	:	difficult	,	mr	.	hunt	,	it's	mission	:	impossible	.	difficult	should	be	a	walk	in	the	park	for	you	.	"	agent	swanbeck	(	sir	anthony	hopkins	)	,	the	series'	new	agent	phelps	,	takes	ethan	hunt	(	tom	cruise	)	down	a	notch	.	a	russian	scientist	(	rade	serbedzija	)	has	created	a	new	virus	(	and	its	antidote	)	called	chimera	that	destroys	its	host	within	twenty	hours	of	injection	.	a	rogue	imf	agent	,	sean	ambrose	(	dougray	scott	)	,	wants	to	use	the	disease	and	cure	to	blackmail	a	pharmaceutical	company	into	selling	him	enough	stock	to	make	him	owner	of	the	company	(	he	knows	it	will	soon	be	worth	its	weight	in	gold	thanks	to	the	outbreak	of	the	virus	he	is	going	to	cause	)	.	posing	as	ethan	hunt	,	ambrose	gains	the	confidence	of	the	scientist	long	enough	to	get	only	the	cure	,	not	realizing	that	the	scientist	had	injected	himself	with	the	virus	to	prevent	exactly	what	ambrose	was	trying	to	do	.	the	real	ethan	hunt	is	called	in	from	his	vacation	to	persuade	beautiful	thief	nyah	nordoff	hall	(	thandie	newton	)	to	assist	the	imf	team	in	retrieving	the	stolen	goods	.	ethan	and	nyah	fall	quickly	in	love	,	but	ethan	soon	finds	himself	in	a	real	dilemma	when	he	learns	that	his	new	love	has	only	been	hired	because	she	was	a	former	lover	of	ambrose's	.	reluctantly	,	he	sets	up	nyah	to	be	rescued	from	prison	by	ambrose	so	she	can	infiltrate	his	compound	and	send	back	intelligence	to	the	team	.	ethan	must	race	against	time	to	keep	ambrose	from	obtaining	and	spreading	the	virus	and	prevent	any	harm	from	coming	to	nyah	.	although	the	first	mission	:	impossible	film	was	a	moderate	box	office	success	,	audiences	panned	it	because	they	felt	the	plot	was	too	confusing	and	there	wasn't	much	action	(	although	being	a	fan	of	the	series	both	old	and	new	,	i	thought	the	movie	was	pretty	decent	and	especially	gutsy	to	make	phelps	a	bad	guy	)	.	that	problem	has	been	rectified	in	the	sequel	by	making	the	plot	more	accessible	(	courtesy	of	one	of	the	writers	of	the	previous	entry	,	robert	towne	)	and	by	turning	the	film	into	one	gigantic	action	set	piece	under	the	steady	hand	of	action	film	guru	john	woo	.	the	end	result	is	one	of	the	most	entertaining	(	yet	simple	)	action	films	made	in	a	long	while	.	unfortunately	,	the	first	forty	minutes	or	so	are	relatively	slow	,	dwelling	mainly	on	ethan	and	nyah's	quickly	blossoming	romance	and	seeming	more	in	place	in	a	james	bond	film	than	with	the	less	glamorous	mission	:	impossible	tv	series	.	ethan's	conflict	is	a	compelling	one	,	but	it	seems	very	rushed	(	and	comes	about	because	of	a	near	fatal	car	wreck	that	ethan	himself	causes	!	)	.	john	woo	handles	all	of	this	with	an	artistic	flair	that	seems	out	of	place	,	featuring	a	great	deal	of	slow	fades	and	dramatically	framed	close	ups	.	the	surreal	nature	of	these	sequences	are	distracting	and	ultimately	a	detriment	to	the	film	.	thankfully	though	,	at	the	point	ambrose	discovers	nyah's	deception	,	mission	:	impossible	ii	becomes	very	entertaining	and	action	packed	.	robert	towne's	screenplay	takes	some	of	the	conventions	set	up	in	the	first	film	and	parodies	them	during	a	sequence	where	ethan	must	break	into	a	high	rise	building	and	retrieve	the	remaining	specimens	of	the	virus	.	after	that	,	the	action	scenes	just	begin	to	build	in	intensity	,	as	is	the	case	with	many	of	woo's	previous	high	octane	films	.	the	final	half	hour	is	an	all	out	assault	of	action	(	a	good	deal	of	which	is	ruined	by	the	trailer	,	unfortunately	)	.	as	far	as	summer	entertainment	goes	,	mission	:	impossible	ii	is	serviceable	fare	.	anyone	looking	for	hardcore	action	won't	be	disappointed	(	except	for	during	the	first	half	of	the	film	,	perhaps	)	.	even	if	you	weren't	a	fan	of	the	first	film	,	this	entry	deserves	some	checking	out	.	pg	13	reviewed	by	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	widescreen25	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	adrian	lyne's	previous	films	(	9	and	1	2	weeks	,	fatal	attraction	,	etc	)	have	dealt	with	the	nature	of	sexual	attraction	and	obsession	,	and	his	adaptation	of	vladimir	nabokov's	controversial	1958	novel	lolita	further	explores	these	themes	.	however	,	free	of	the	strict	moral	and	censorship	code	that	shaped	stanley	kubrick's	1962	version	,	lyne	is	able	to	explore	the	novel	in	far	more	detail	.	where	kubrick	largely	alluded	to	the	nature	of	the	relationship	between	humbert	and	his	precocious	12	year	old	step	daughter	,	lyne	is	able	to	explore	it	in	franker	terms	.	however	,	lyne's	intelligent	and	sensitive	handling	of	the	provocative	material	and	his	sense	of	restraint	is	unexpected	.	lolita	is	nowhere	near	as	sexually	explicit	or	torrid	as	its	detractors	would	have	us	believe	,	but	is	rather	a	more	poignant	and	evocative	tale	of	a	tragically	doomed	and	illicit	love	affair	.	many	writers	,	including	james	drearden	,	harold	pinter	,	and	even	david	mamet	,	have	attempted	to	write	a	more	contemporary	flavoured	adaptation	of	lolita	,	but	lyne	found	the	perfect	collaborator	in	former	vanity	fair	film	critic	stephen	schiff	,	whose	lyrical	and	melancholy	script	seems	to	capture	much	of	the	book's	flavour	.	the	two	central	performances	are	powerful	and	complex	and	enhance	the	movie	.	jeremy	irons	brings	his	usual	pained	and	haunted	expression	to	the	character	of	humbert	humbert	,	the	refined	english	professor	who	comes	to	new	england	to	take	up	a	teaching	assignment	in	1947	.	humbert	is	still	marked	by	the	loss	of	an	adolescent	love	that	has	haunted	him	for	the	past	quarter	of	a	century	.	he	is	initially	reluctant	to	take	up	lodging	with	the	man	hungry	widow	charlotte	haze	(	melanie	griffith	)	,	until	he	spies	her	beautiful	young	daughter	dolores	(	newcomer	dominique	swain	)	.	despite	her	childish	demeanour	,	dolores	arouses	long	forgotten	feelings	in	humbert	.	he	eventually	marries	charlotte	,	just	so	he	can	be	close	to	dolores	,	and	successfully	manages	to	avoid	most	of	his	husbandly	duties	.	for	a	long	time	charlotte	misreads	the	attraction	between	humbert	and	her	daughter	.	following	the	death	of	charlotte	,	humbert	and	dolores	set	out	on	a	journey	across	an	america	slowly	recovering	from	the	war	and	emerging	with	a	recognition	of	its	own	identity	and	culture	.	irons	brings	sophistication	and	urbane	charm	to	the	role	,	and	makes	humbert	something	of	a	sympathetic	figure	.	he	convincingly	conveys	humbert's	ever	increasing	sense	of	guilt	and	remorse	.	his	voice	over	narration	provides	insight	into	his	obsession	,	and	also	adds	some	touches	of	droll	humour	.	lyne	uses	some	neat	cinematic	tricks	to	illustrate	humbert's	disquieting	inner	nightmares	as	he	begins	to	lose	control	of	the	relationship	.	irons	gives	a	confident	and	convincing	performance	in	this	tricky	role	,	whereas	james	mason	always	seemed	uncomfortable	.	in	a	remarkably	assured	debut	performance	,	swain	(	who	went	on	to	play	nicolas	cage's	daughter	in	the	action	thriller	face	off	)	is	a	wonderfully	seductive	and	manipulative	nymphet	.	swain	beautifully	mixes	childlike	innocence	with	an	earthy	quality	and	a	smouldering	sexuality	that	sears	across	the	screen	.	frank	langella	(	from	dave	,	etc	)	is	truly	creepy	as	the	enigmatic	and	predatory	quilty	.	in	the	early	stages	,	he	is	mainly	seen	in	shadows	and	gloomy	lighting	,	which	gives	him	a	sinister	,	mysterious	and	somehow	menacing	quality	.	lyne's	adaptation	of	lolita	finally	reaches	our	screens	,	following	a	year	of	protracted	debate	over	whether	it	is	pornography	or	art	,	and	whether	it	should	be	banned	.	not	since	martin	scorsese's	the	last	temptation	of	christ	has	a	film	had	so	much	free	pre	publicity	,	which	certainly	won't	harm	it	at	the	box	office	.	far	from	glorifying	paedophilia	,	as	most	of	the	film's	detractors	have	claimed	,	lolita	ends	badly	and	tragically	for	all	concerned	.	in	fact	,	the	most	disturbing	scene	is	the	taxi	driver	like	violence	at	the	end	when	humbert	confronts	the	monstrously	amoral	quilty	in	his	own	mansion	.	the	film	is	visually	rich	,	and	has	a	beautiful	,	glossy	,	almost	romantic	surface	that	seduces	the	audience	,	despite	its	dubious	subject	matter	.	howard	atherton's	exquisite	cinematography	brings	to	life	the	rich	american	landscapes	through	which	humbert	and	lolita	travel	on	their	odyssey	.	ennio	morricone's	lush	score	further	enriches	the	movie	.
pos	a	.	i	.	artificial	intelligence	(	2001	)	3	stars	out	of	4	.	starring	haley	joel	osment	,	jude	law	,	brendan	gleeson	,	william	hurt	,	sam	robards	and	frances	o'connor	.	music	by	john	williams	.	based	on	a	short	story	by	brian	aldiss	.	based	on	a	screenplay	by	ian	watson	.	screenplay	by	steven	spielberg	.	directed	by	spielberg	.	rated	pg	13	it	is	easy	to	see	why	the	late	stanley	kubrick	believed	steven	spielberg	would	be	the	perfect	director	for	his	a	.	i	.	artificial	intelligence	,	just	as	it	is	understandable	why	spielberg	was	attracted	to	the	material	.	for	here	we	have	another	lost	boy	trying	to	find	his	way	home	,	an	outcast	seeking	family	,	themes	very	familiar	from	most	of	spielberg's	body	of	work	from	sugarland	express	to	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	to	e	.	t	.	to	empire	of	the	sun	to	hook	to	saving	private	ryan	,	naming	just	a	few	examples	.	a	.	i	.	is	set	in	an	undefined	near	future	in	which	giant	technological	advances	have	led	to	the	creation	of	robots	who	serve	every	purpose	from	housekeeping	to	fulfilling	sexual	fantasies	.	it	is	an	era	when	robots	are	treated	merely	as	sophisticated	appliances	.	the	last	great	leap	in	robotic	evolution	is	the	addition	of	emotions	,	and	with	the	number	of	births	limited	by	the	government	,	many	couples	are	yearning	for	children	.	and	professor	hobby	(	william	hurt	)	has	the	solution	.	a	robotic	boy	named	david	(	haley	joel	osment	)	,	who	is	programmed	to	love	.	as	a	test	,	david	is	placed	with	henry	swinton	(	sam	robards	)	and	his	wife	,	monica	(	frances	o'connor	)	.	their	natural	born	son	has	been	cryogenically	frozen	until	a	cure	can	be	found	for	his	illness	.	the	first	third	of	a	.	i	.	deals	with	david's	life	with	the	swintons	and	how	that	is	changed	by	the	recovery	and	return	of	their	son	,	martin	.	circumstances	force	david	to	be	cut	off	from	the	swintons	.	he	is	abandoned	and	alone	.	david	,	highly	influenced	by	the	fairy	tale	,	pinocchio	,	feels	that	if	he	becomes	a	real	boy	he	can	rekindle	monica's	love	for	him	.	the	film's	second	act	follows	david's	search	for	the	blue	fairy	,	whom	he	believes	will	be	able	to	fulfill	his	wish	.	during	these	adventures	he	meets	and	is	helped	by	gigolo	joe	(	jude	law	)	,	a	robot	who	specializes	in	sex	.	spielberg	is	at	his	top	form	in	this	sequence	,	offering	a	brutal	"	flesh	fair	"	where	robots	are	destroyed	via	sadistic	methods	for	the	amusement	of	paying	customers	.	here	,	is	where	kubrick's	influence	is	strongly	felt	,	as	the	movie	explores	the	fear	and	distrust	humans	have	for	robots	.	the	savagery	conjures	up	images	from	the	late	director's	a	clockwork	orange	.	at	about	two	hours	and	30	minutes	,	the	film	begins	to	falter	during	the	last	20	minutes	,	a	sequence	that	seems	most	spielbergian	with	images	that	appear	to	be	borrowed	from	close	encounters	.	it	is	all	very	anti	climatic	and	jarring	.	these	scenes	seem	almost	superfluous	,	as	if	from	a	different	film	.	a	.	i	.	is	a	dark	fairy	tale	that	deserves	its	pg	13	rating	.	it	is	a	story	combining	hope	and	intolerance	,	sacrifice	and	bigotry	,	and	while	it	does	not	coalesce	perfectly	,	the	movie	does	offer	some	disturbing	images	.	but	a	.	i	.	is	really	a	showcase	for	the	acting	talents	of	the	amazing	young	osment	.	if	ever	an	actor	deserved	an	academy	award	nomination	,	it	is	this	lad	,	who	brings	a	sense	of	joy	and	wonder	to	the	role	of	david	,	a	being	created	for	the	express	purpose	of	loving	.	he	shines	when	with	monica	,	beaming	with	love	,	as	eager	as	a	puppy	to	please	.	after	being	left	in	the	woods	,	he	is	confused	,	lost	,	hurt	,	focusing	on	one	objective	:	to	become	a	real	boy	and	find	his	way	home	so	he	can	redeem	himself	in	his	mother's	eyes	.	law	is	pleasant	as	the	care	free	robot	who	really	doesn't	understand	david's	quest	,	but	is	nonetheless	happy	to	help	him	on	his	journey	.	probably	the	toughest	role	is	o'connor's	monica	.	playing	an	emotional	fragile	woman	who	sees	david	as	a	substitute	for	her	lost	martin	,	she	grows	conflicted	after	her	boy	returns	and	she	begins	to	perceive	david	not	as	a	second	chance	,	but	as	a	threat	to	her	family	.	she	gives	her	character	enough	emotional	chaos	that	you	cannot	fault	her	for	her	course	of	action	.	many	of	a	.	i	.	's	futuristic	sets	are	breathtaking	,	especially	a	mostly	submerged	new	york	,	lost	to	the	world	by	the	melting	of	the	polar	ice	caps	.	a	.	i	.	is	a	flawed	film	,	and	you	cannot	get	through	the	entire	feature	without	pondering	even	subconsciously	how	it	would	have	turned	out	with	kubrick	instead	of	spielberg	behind	the	camera	.	would	it	have	been	darker	?	more	cynical	?	we	will	never	know	.	we	can	only	judge	what	is	before	us	on	the	screen	,	a	collaboration	of	two	cinematic	giants	.	a	.	i	.	is	a	most	interesting	and	thought	provoking	examination	of	a	future	that	is	quickly	gaining	on	us	.	bob	bloom	is	the	film	critic	at	the	journal	and	courier	in	lafayette	,	in	.	he	can	be	reached	by	e	mail	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	"	bloom	journal	courier	.	com	a	or	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	"	bobbloom	iquest	.	net	.	a	other	reviews	by	bloom	can	be	found	at	www	.	jconline	.	com	by	clicking	on	golafayette	.	bloom's	reviews	also	can	be	found	on	the	web	at	the	internet	movie	database	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	bob	bloom	a
pos	steven	spielberg	is	now	considered	as	one	of	the	hollywood	deities	,	because	of	the	rare	capability	to	deliver	both	huge	commercial	hits	,	like	jurassic	park	,	and	"	oscar	"	awarded	critical	triumphs	like	schindler's	list	.	however	,	in	the	1970s	spielberg	built	his	reputation	by	creating	works	of	art	that	could	slip	in	both	categories	.	one	of	them	is	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	,	extremely	popular	and	influential	science	fiction	spectacle	.	unfortunately	,	it	had	a	bad	luck	to	be	released	in	the	same	year	as	star	wars	.	although	both	films	have	a	lot	in	common	(	ground	breaking	special	effects	,	brilliant	score	by	john	williams	)	their	future	was	different	;	one	became	an	unstoppable	cult	phenomenon	,	and	another	almost	forgotten	and	stuck	forever	in	its	shadow	.	when	spielberg	began	work	on	that	project	,	he	was	already	established	as	a	bright	new	hollywood	star	due	to	his	previous	commercial	hit	,	jaws	.	together	with	other	young	directors	of	his	"	new	hollywood	"	generation	,	like	kauffman	,	carpenter	,	hill	and	millius	,	he	exploited	the	great	creative	freedom	of	1970s	,	when	even	the	mainstream	producers	dared	to	experiment	.	ironically	,	it	was	spielberg	himself	whose	later	commercial	success	would	established	new	unwritten	rules	of	"	blockubuster	"	philosophy	.	but	in	the	mid	1970s	,	many	things	were	different	;	spielberg	was	young	and	eager	to	use	hollywood	resources	for	his	very	personal	and	artistic	movie	.	although	very	personal	,	spielberg's	screenplay	was	partly	based	on	the	book	"	ufo	experience	"	by	dr	.	j	.	allen	hynek	and	in	many	ways	inspired	by	the	popular	urban	mythology	of	extraterrestrial	visitors	to	earth	that	began	to	grow	in	the	world	after	ww2	.	spielberg	was	not	only	inspired	by	the	mythology	,	but	his	movie	also	gave	the	mythology	itself	a	huge	boost	,	unmatched	until	the	contemporary	era	of	x	files	and	the	roswell	anniversary	.	that	was	partly	because	he	made	the	movie	very	realistic	using	the	authentic	ufo	related	incidents	as	the	element	of	the	plot	.	the	story	begins	with	one	of	such	incidents	team	of	international	scientists	come	to	the	sonorra	desert	in	mexico	to	find	the	u	.	s	.	navy	planes	of	who	went	missing	decades	ago	during	the	famous	flight	19	.	such	events	coincide	with	the	ufo	incident	witnessed	by	roy	neary	(	richard	dreyfuss	)	,	power	company	worker	from	muncie	,	indiana	,	who	later	becomes	obsessed	with	his	experience	.	because	of	his	obsession	he	loses	his	job	,	family	and	sanity	,	but	his	loss	is	nothing	compared	to	the	experience	of	jillian	guiler	(	melinda	dillon	)	,	single	mother	whose	son	becomes	the	victim	of	alien	abduction	.	in	the	meantime	,	the	scientists	decipher	the	strange	signals	from	outer	space	and	u	.	s	.	government	,	in	co	operation	with	the	french	,	led	by	lacombe	(	francois	truffaut	)	begin	with	the	preparation	for	ultra	secret	project	.	when	the	news	of	the	poison	gas	leak	in	the	middle	of	wyoming	reach	neary	,	he	finally	sees	some	sense	in	all	his	visions	and	begins	the	perilous	journey	toward	the	centre	of	endangered	area	.	there	he	is	joined	by	jillian	who	shared	the	similar	visions	.	two	of	them	must	break	through	military	pickets	and	reach	their	destination	to	find	whatever	is	there	.	spielberg	here	shows	great	mastery	by	using	the	very	same	techniques	of	jaws	to	make	completely	different	effects	.	the	slow	,	gradual	yet	very	disciplined	series	of	dramatic	incidents	"	close	encounters	"	is	set	in	order	to	bring	the	viewer	to	the	great	revelation	in	the	finale	.	but	,	instead	of	the	fear	and	horror	we	had	to	endure	during	the	jaws	,	we	are	now	overwhelmed	by	the	sense	of	boyish	wonder	.	throughout	the	movie	the	viewer	knows	that	something	big	,	magnificent	and	wonderful	is	about	to	happen	,	and	great	magician	spielberg	delivers	his	promise	in	the	end	.	the	last	sequence	,	with	its	,	even	in	this	age	,	impressive	special	effects	by	the	great	virtuoso	douglas	trumbull	,	would	leave	many	mouths	open	.	one	of	the	great	virtues	of	this	film	is	its	optimism	.	aliens	,	who	almost	always	get	portrayed	as	the	monsters	in	science	fiction	cinema	,	are	here	benevolent	and	harmless	creatures	and	the	first	contact	between	them	and	humanity	is	a	beginning	of	something	wonderful	.	it	is	very	ironic	,	when	we	consider	that	the	two	classic	sf	movies	that	visually	inspired	spielberg	actually	told	quite	different	story	howard	hawks'	thing	and	byron	haskin's	war	of	the	worlds	presented	extraterrestrials	as	the	threat	to	the	mankind	.	spielberg's	humane	approach	and	faith	in	the	future	also	lies	in	great	contrast	to	the	pessimistic	mood	of	its	era	;	the	only	hint	of	the	contemporary	gloom	is	post	watergate	portrayal	of	government	as	conspiratorial	towards	the	public	.	but	,	even	such	government	is	much	more	harmless	compared	to	the	murderous	and	chain	smoking	men	in	black	that	became	the	stereotype	thanks	to	x	files	and	its	more	cynical	and	disturbing	visions	.	there	lies	the	main	,	and	probably	the	only	flaw	of	this	great	picture	lack	of	conflict	,	and	consequently	,	lack	of	drama	.	the	movie	has	few	excitements	or	even	action	scenes	(	especially	the	last	that	may	be	an	interesting	homage	to	hitchcock's	north	by	northwest	)	but	generally	,	almost	everyone	neary	,	jillian	,	government	,	aliens	are	the	good	guys	.	despite	such	shortcomings	,	the	actors	were	good	and	manage	to	bring	multidimensionality	to	their	simple	roles	.	richard	dreyfuss	is	very	convincing	as	a	ordinary	,	yet	nice	guy	,	who	sinks	into	insanity	only	to	rediscover	himself	in	a	grand	finale	.	melinda	dillon	was	,	on	the	other	hand	,	nominated	for	"	oscar	"	as	a	struggling	mother	,	yet	she	was	overshadowed	by	teri	garr	as	neary's	long	suffering	wife	ronnie	.	apart	from	visual	wonders	of	this	film	,	spielberg's	semi	official	composer	john	williams	again	excels	by	his	beautiful	music	,	this	time	using	the	simple	melody	both	as	the	element	of	a	plot	,	and	as	the	basis	for	his	score	.	the	aliens	,	who	are	the	main	subject	of	this	film	,	were	visually	very	convincing	.	too	convincing	,	one	of	my	acquaintances	in	the	ufo	researching	circles	said	.	according	to	him	,	the	depiction	of	extraterrestrials	as	grey	skinned	little	people	with	big	eyes	was	so	accurate	,	that	it	managed	to	freak	out	powerful	government	figures	interested	in	suppressing	the	truth	about	ufos	.	so	,	they	later	approached	spielberg	and	ordered	him	to	make	another	movie	with	alien	,	this	time	designed	to	be	anything	but	the	real	life	.	the	result	was	e	.	t	.	,	for	many	years	the	biggest	commercial	hit	of	all	times	,	yet	less	inspirational	for	ufo	enthusiasts	.	anyway	,	whether	the	viewer	believes	in	existence	of	extraterrestrials	or	ufos	,	close	encounters	of	the	third	kind	remains	the	great	movie	,	and	one	of	the	rare	uplifting	experiences	in	modern	cinema	.
pos	directed	by	:	martin	scorsese	written	by	:	joe	connelly	(	novel	)	,	paul	schrader	if	there	is	one	thing	martin	scoresese's	new	film	,	"	bringing	out	the	dead	"	proves	,	it	is	that	great	actors	and	great	directing	cannot	save	a	weak	script	.	don't	get	me	wrong	,	paul	schrader's	script	does	contain	quite	a	few	truly	hilarious	scenes	,	and	some	wonderful	characters	,	but	it	is	marred	by	long	stretches	of	boring	,	useless	material	.	while	the	previews	talk	about	nicholas	cage's	character	,	frank	pierce	,	seeing	ghosts	all	around	him	,	this	is	really	nothing	more	than	a	rather	pointless	subplot	.	frank	pierce	is	a	paramedic	in	new	york	city	.	while	once	good	at	this	job	,	witnessing	the	suffering	and	death	around	him	has	taken	its	toll	.	now	,	he	hasn't	saved	a	life	in	months	,	and	his	nights	are	filled	with	ghostly	images	of	a	young	lady	he	was	unable	to	save	.	his	three	partners	,	larry	(	john	goodman	)	,	marcus	(	ving	rhames	)	,	and	tom	(	tom	sizemore	)	,	each	deal	with	their	jobs	in	different	ways	,	but	aren't	able	to	help	frank	with	his	troubles	.	the	only	person	able	to	bring	anything	into	frank's	life	is	mary	burke	(	patricia	arquette	)	,	a	young	lady	whos	father	has	suffered	a	heart	attack	and	is	staying	at	frank's	hospital	.	"	bringing	out	the	dead	"	certainly	contains	moments	of	shear	brilliance	.	the	greatest	example	of	this	can	be	found	in	the	use	of	the	film's	wonderful	soundtrack	.	each	song	completely	enhances	the	scene	in	which	it	is	played	.	from	ub40's	"	red	,	red	wine	"	being	played	during	a	scene	in	which	goldfish	lie	dying	upon	a	blood	soaked	floor	,	to	"	you	can't	put	your	arms	around	a	memory	"	playing	while	frank's	ambulance	flies	across	the	darkened	city	streets	.	if	only	the	music	had	been	able	to	enhance	scenes	in	which	frank	stares	out	at	the	ghost	of	the	girl	,	rose	(	cynthia	roman	)	appears	at	random	,	for	no	apparent	reason	.	the	supporting	cast	is	wonderful	here	,	though	underused	.	john	goodman	,	great	in	an	almost	pointless	role	,	plays	a	character	similar	to	frank	,	though	less	haunted	.	ving	rhames	,	in	one	of	his	best	performances	yet	(	and	that's	saying	something	)	,	plays	a	much	more	hopeful	man	,	who	believes	he	is	playing	an	important	role	in	these	peoples'	lives	.	last	but	not	least	,	the	always	wonderful	,	if	underrated	tom	sizemore	plays	a	man	who	can't	seem	to	decide	if	he	wants	to	help	people	or	hurt	them	.	if	these	three	men	had	been	present	a	bit	more	often	,	this	truly	would	have	helped	the	film	.	nicholas	cage	plays	nicholas	cage	to	perfection	.	no	,	that	is	not	a	typo	,	i	personally	believe	that	mr	.	cage	simply	plays	himself	in	dozens	of	different	roles	.	always	a	depressed	,	moody	,	dour	man	who	mutters	on	and	on	about	how	he	can't	take	life	any	longer	.	patricia	arquette	fares	better	as	the	troubled	drug	addict	who	can't	come	to	terms	with	how	she	feels	about	her	dying	father	.	the	scenes	between	the	two	are	well	written	and	well	acted	,	and	the	blossoming	romance	never	feels	forced	.	from	what	i	have	said	so	far	,	it	must	sound	as	though	my	star	rating	is	a	little	too	harsh	.	this	is	not	the	case	,	since	i	found	myself	falling	asleep	during	many	segments	which	served	no	purpose	,	and	which	seemed	to	drag	on	forever	.	the	other	major	fault	,	as	mentioned	earlier	,	is	the	underuse	of	the	other	three	paramedics	.	while	they	were	on	screen	,	those	three	actors	brought	a	spark	to	the	otherwise	rather	lifeless	script	.	when	absent	,	the	film	sputtered	and	died	.	"	bringing	out	the	dead	"	runs	too	long	at	120	minutes	which	could	easily	have	been	chopped	down	to	100	.	i	reccomend	that	if	you	really	want	to	see	it	,	wait	for	video	,	since	little	should	be	lost	in	the	transition	.	i	grant	it	three	stars	.	one	last	comment	.	for	those	of	you	who	noticed	that	the	title	was	taken	from	"	monty	python	and	the	holy	grail	"	,	there	is	a	brief	line	in	the	film	acknowledging	this	.	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	jackie	chan	may	not	make	the	best	films	,	but	there's	no	question	that	he	makes	some	of	the	most	entertaining	and	audience	friendly	ones	.	"	it's	not	bach	,	"	a	friend	once	said	,	"	but	it	is	at	least	offenbach	.	"	"	who	am	i	?	"	,	a	hong	kong	production	which	was	released	direct	to	video	through	columbia	tristar	,	is	very	much	in	the	same	vein	as	"	rumble	in	the	bronx	"	.	its	plot	is	mostly	a	clothesline	on	which	jackie	hangs	as	many	stunts	,	visual	gags	,	bits	of	derring	do	,	slapstick	,	and	everything	else	that	isn't	hammered	down	.	and	what	of	the	plot	,	you	ask	?	jackie	plays	a	member	of	a	secret	military	platoon	who're	deployed	to	get	their	hands	on	a	meteorite	fragment	that	can	be	used	as	an	energy	source	.	the	platoon	is	betrayed	from	within	,	and	jackie	takes	a	chuteless	nosedive	from	his	helicopter	.	he	wakes	up	,	sans	memory	,	in	the	care	of	a	jungle	tribe	.	"	who	am	i	?	"	he	cries	out	,	and	the	running	(	homeric	?	)	gag	of	the	movie	is	that	whoami	becomes	his	name	.	(	the	tribe	,	btw	,	is	depicted	with	a	surprising	amount	of	sensitivity	and	intelligence	given	the	movie's	pedigree	.	they've	got	t	shirts	and	binoculars	,	and	understand	that	jackie	fell	out	of	a	crashed	copter	,	not	some	great	metal	sky	bird	.	)	the	movie	actually	gets	a	lot	less	mileage	out	of	jackie's	memory	loss	as	a	plot	device	,	but	it	gets	a	lot	of	mileage	regardless	.	jackie	saves	a	motorcross	driver	from	snakebite	(	driving	the	atv	over	the	finish	line	himself	)	;	gets	mixed	up	with	a	journalist	who	wants	to	write	about	his	story	;	wrecks	a	mitsubishi	sports	car	;	winds	up	in	the	netherlands	,	throwing	wooden	shoes	at	the	bad	guys	;	and	gets	into	a	rooftop	fight	with	two	astonishingly	brutal	savate'	fighters	.	the	usual	stuff	,	but	it's	served	up	with	a	good	sense	of	fun	and	a	fast	moving	camera	.	and	of	course	,	we	get	to	see	jackie's	end	of	movie	outtakes	.	it	wouldn't	be	a	jackie	chan	film	without	at	least	one	shot	of	him	on	the	stretcher	although	this	time	around	,	we	get	to	hear	outtakes	as	well	,	from	the	studio	sessions	where	jackie	sang	the	title	tune	.	and	as	a	singer	,	jackie's	mostly	a	pretty	good	stuntman	.	like	the	man	says	:	not	bach	,	i	guess	,	but	certainly	offenbach	.	posted	via	deja	news	,	the	discussion	network	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	a	search	,	read	,	discuss	,	or	start	your	own
pos	directed	by	:	donald	petrie	written	by	:	jenaro	prieto	(	novel	el	socio	)	nick	thiel	cast	:	whoopi	goldberg	(	laurel	ayres	)	,	dianne	wiest	(	sally	doogan	)	,	eli	wallach	(	fallon	)	,	timothy	daly	(	frank	)	,	bebe	neuwirth	(	camille	austin	pendleton	)	produced	by	:	buena	vista	pictures	hollywood	pictures	interscope	communications	polygram	rating	:	run	time	:	113	minutes	for	a	movie	that	aims	to	dispel	the	prejudicial	stereotypes	of	sexism	,	the	associate	may	succeed	in	some	aspects	,	but	it	ends	up	falling	into	a	patterned	plot	and	perpetuating	other	forms	of	sexism	.	what	is	the	role	of	a	woman	in	the	ruthlessly	competitive	and	testorone	tilted	world	of	wall	street	?	she	could	be	a	secretary	and	get	called	"	sweetie	,	"	or	she	could	do	all	the	work	and	let	her	male	partner	take	all	the	credit	.	after	all	,	if	business	deals	are	to	be	closed	in	strip	bars	,	a	woman	can	hardly	expect	any	respect	.	perhaps	she	should	get	breast	enlargements	.	at	the	very	least	,	she	would	then	be	able	to	get	some	attention	,	proceeding	then	to	sleep	her	way	to	the	top	.	through	it	all	,	she	must	never	show	her	temper	,	for	it	would	surely	be	interpreted	as	pre	menstrual	syndrome	.	such	a	starkly	stereotupical	but	realistic	portrait	of	corporate	culture	is	portrayed	in	the	associate	.	it	seems	as	if	the	only	way	a	woman	can	break	down	the	barriers	errected	by	the	wall	street	boys'	club	is	to	become	a	man	,	which	is	precisely	what	whoopi	goldberg's	character	,	laurel	ayres	,	does	.	as	a	financial	analyst	who	fails	to	get	the	recognition	she	deservesbecause	of	her	gender	and	race	,	she	creates	and	subsequently	dons	the	persona	of	the	fictitious	robert	cutty	.	using	her	intelligence	and	business	savvy	behind	the	persona	of	this	imaginary	white	,	caucasian	male	,	she	achives	exceptional	success	.	her	partner	in	crime	is	fellow	secretary	sally	,	played	engagingly	by	two	time	academy	award	winning	dianne	wiest	.	however	,	hilarious	fixes	arise	when	cutty's	fabricated	persona	becomes	the	target	of	the	insatiable	media	,	makes	deals	with	laurel's	devious	competitor	(	portrayed	with	wicked	gleefulness	by	tim	daly	)	,	gets	subpoenaed	for	fraud	,	and	even	"	fathers	"	a	child	.	whoopi	goldberg's	androgynous	appeal	,	comic	talent	and	intelligence	lend	realism	and	humour	to	the	character	of	laurel	.	as	an	african	american	woman	overcoming	discrimination	and	beating	the	odds	,	we	champion	her	cause	and	what	she	represents	.	however	,	goldberg's	portrayal	fails	to	illicit	sympathy	and	audience	identification	.	as	with	the	color	purple	,	her	steely	edge	and	street	smarts	make	her	unbelievable	as	a	marginalized	and	exploited	figure	.	furthermore	,	even	as	it	continues	to	be	a	ver	real	and	pressing	issue	today	,	the	storline	of	black	woman	versus	white	man	seems	cliched	when	dealth	with	in	comedy	,	especially	since	the	possibility	was	raised	back	in	the	sixties	of	god	being	a	black	woman	.	in	addition	,	the	disguise	strategy	recalls	films	like	mrs	doubtfire	and	the	nutty	professor	,	and	makes	the	plot's	unfolding	highly	predictable	.	finally	,	even	as	the	movie	shatters	female	stereotypes	,	it	perpetuates	male	ones	.	the	mend	o	not	develop	beyond	being	cariacatures	of	the	manipulative	businessman	,	the	fumbling	nerd	genius	and	the	sensitive	new	age	man	.	as	such	there	is	an	imbalance	in	the	treatment	of	issues	of	prejudice	.	directed	by	donald	petrie	,	known	for	such	hit	comedies	as	mystic	pizza	and	grumpy	old	men	,	the	associate	merely	retells	,	albeit	with	the	slightest	dash	of	humour	,	a	well	known	tale	of	sexism	in	today's	society	.	the	flying	inkpot	rating	system	:	wait	for	the	tv2	broadcast	.	a	little	creaky	,	but	still	better	than	staying	at	home	with	gotcha	!	pretty	good	,	bring	a	friend	.	amazing	,	potent	stuff	.	perfection	.	see	it	twice	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	current	film	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	a
pos	warning	:	if	you	actually	wish	to	see	the	film	,	stop	reading	this	and	see	it	.	while	i	don't	blow	any	plot	details	,	the	more	you	know	about	a	movie	,	the	more	disappointing	and	built	up	it	becomes	(	waiting	a	month	to	see	titanic	did	the	same	thing	)	.	but	,	in	a	nutshell	,	it's	a	good	film	.	never	having	been	the	biggest	star	wars	fanatic	in	the	world	(	i	was	more	into	star	trek	:	the	next	generation	)	,	it	is	difficult	to	relate	to	the	mass	fandom	surrounding	the	latest	installment	,	the	phantom	menace	.	however	,	it	can't	be	ignored	.	endless	toys	lining	the	shelves	,	endless	news	reports	,	and	a	multi	billion	dollar	advertising	campaign	makes	it	all	the	more	difficult	.	with	the	level	of	this	hype	,	one	would	recall	an	overhyped	disaster	from	1998	,	godzilla	,	which	definitely	failed	to	live	up	to	expectations	.	thankfully	,	the	phantom	menace	does	much	,	much	better	.	while	the	"	first	"	star	wars	trilogy	told	the	story	of	jedi	knight	luke	skywalker	,	the	prequels	backpedal	to	tell	the	back	story	of	obi	wan	kenobi	and	a	young	jedi	named	anakin	skywalker	(	who	would	become	the	father	of	luke	and	eventually	become	darth	vader	)	.	without	blowing	too	much	of	the	story	,	the	phantom	menace	evolves	around	a	peaceful	planet	naboo	,	which	is	being	held	hostage	by	a	greedy	trade	federation	,	and	it's	up	to	two	jedi	knights	(	qui	gon	ji	,	played	by	liam	neeson	and	obi	wan	kenobi	,	played	by	ewan	mcgreggor	)	to	free	it	.	the	phantom	menace	has	taken	a	literal	beating	from	various	film	critics	,	leaving	me	to	lower	my	expectations	somewhat	.	common	complaints	range	from	lack	of	characterization	,	weak	narrative	,	poor	direction	of	actors	,	the	dated	style	,	and	too	much	focus	over	special	effects	.	still	,	film	critics	often	apply	much	historical	theory	in	regards	to	film	criticism	,	much	of	which	the	average	film	buff	does	not	care	for	.	hence	,	this	film	is	a	lot	of	fun	and	definitely	an	improvement	over	the	previous	films	(	even	with	the	"	improvements	"	in	the	special	editions	)	.	there	are	many	memorable	sequences	throughout	the	film	,	ranging	from	the	fast	and	furious	"	pod	race	"	sequence	(	which	is	a	take	on	the	chariot	races	in	"	ben	hur	"	)	and	the	many	fight	scenes	involving	legions	of	battle	droids	.	utilizing	technology	that	is	light	years	beyond	anything	made	before	,	special	effects	and	computers	are	used	to	create	everything	from	monsters	to	robots	to	amazing	cityscapes	with	incredible	detail	.	no	matter	how	many	times	you	watch	this	film	,	you	will	catch	something	new	.	the	level	of	humour	is	a	bit	higher	than	the	previous	films	as	well	,	mostly	conveyed	through	the	reluctant	hero	jar	jar	binks	,	who	belongs	to	a	race	known	as	the	gungans	.	best	described	as	an	mr	.	bean	from	the	planet	naboo	,	he	steals	the	show	.	unfortunately	,	being	that	he	is	a	computer	generated	character	,	tells	a	bit	about	the	direction	of	the	actors	(	although	natalie	portman	as	the	queen	is	pretty	effective	,	as	is	jake	lloyd	as	the	young	anakin	skywalker	)	.	with	star	wars	mania	at	an	all	time	high	,	there	is	the	risk	that	the	film	will	disappoint	(	i	myself	had	my	doubts	)	,	which	this	film	does	have	a	tendency	to	do	at	times	.	there	are	a	few	logic	problems	with	the	plot	,	several	things	are	left	unchecked	,	and	at	times	seems	to	be	made	only	for	diehard	star	wars	fans	(	although	the	appearance	of	the	tusken	raiders	makes	for	more	than	a	few	laughs	)	.	that	,	and	young	anakin	skywalker	is	a	really	annoying	character	,	coming	off	as	a	smarmy	,	arrogant	brat	(	with	such	an	attitude	,	it's	no	wonder	why	he	turns	to	the	dark	side	)	.	still	,	it	seems	that	many	people	,	especially	critics	,	are	missing	the	point	.	the	film	is	some	of	the	most	fun	2	and	a	half	hours	that	you'll	blow	in	your	life	,	which	is	something	i	wouldn't	mind	doing	again	.	while	it	may	not	have	the	psychological	impact	of	an	academy	award	contender	,	who	really	cares	?	the	film	is	pure	fun	from	beginning	to	end	.	and	isn't	that	what	really	matters	?
pos	release	date	:	october	23	,	1998	starring	:	roberto	benigni	,	nicoletta	braschi	,	giustino	durano	,	sergio	bini	bustric	,	horst	bucholz	directed	by	:	roberto	benigni	distributed	by	:	miramax	films	mpaa	rating	:	pg	13	(	holocaust	related	thematic	elements	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	lifeisbeaut	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	lifeisbeaut	.	htm	a	the	love	for	family	is	one	of	the	strongest	driving	forces	in	any	man's	life	,	especially	for	those	who	have	fostered	their	family	under	precarious	circumstances	.	thematically	in	cinema	,	love	for	family	has	been	used	frequently	and	emphatically	to	highlight	more	abstract	aspects	of	characters	;	it	is	rare	,	however	,	for	it	to	develop	as	outstandingly	as	it	does	in	roberto	benigni's	neo	classic	drama	,	life	is	beautiful	.	through	a	central	cast	of	father	,	mother	,	and	son	,	benigni	demonstrates	the	wonderful	,	undying	love	that	a	family	shares	in	the	best	of	times	and	the	worst	of	times	.	life	is	beautiful	for	guido	orefice	(	roberto	benigni	,	directing	himself	here	for	the	sixth	time	in	his	career	)	,	an	italian	jew	,	master	con	man	,	and	aspiring	waiter	extraordinaire	.	living	in	1930's	italy	,	he	lives	a	carefree	life	of	good	fortune	;	it	is	made	even	better	when	he	happens	upon	a	pretty	schoolteacher	named	dora	(	nicoletta	braschi	)	.	although	dora	is	already	engaged	,	guido	manages	to	sweep	her	off	her	feet	and	persuades	her	to	marry	him	instead	;	the	two	have	a	child	named	joshua	(	giorgio	cantarini	)	.	unfortunately	for	the	happy	family	,	the	third	reich	and	its	nazi	minions	occupy	italy	and	imprison	all	jews	in	work	camps	.	it	is	after	the	movie	takes	this	dramatic	turn	that	the	movie's	theme	of	family	love	becomes	the	strongest	.	although	prior	to	this	turning	point	benigni	plays	guido	with	a	sort	of	goofy	charm	,	he	relaxes	the	role	to	ensure	his	son's	happiness	.	now	,	instead	of	awkwardly	seducing	the	sweet	dora	,	he	constantly	reassures	his	son	that	everything	will	be	all	right	.	benigni's	performance	is	truly	a	well	rounded	one	,	and	certainly	one	of	the	more	fluid	turns	all	year	.	the	supports	are	all	strong	as	well	,	but	the	movie	truly	excels	in	its	script	.	life	is	beautiful	is	a	self	proclaimed	fable	,	one	which	tells	its	story	in	grand	,	two	part	fashion	.	in	certain	parts	it	manages	to	sink	to	the	level	of	a	"	saturday	night	live	"	spinoff	a	number	of	humorous	skits	connected	by	a	token	plot	but	in	the	movie's	second	half	the	script's	circular	nature	becomes	admirably	obvious	.	characters	make	reprise	appearances	in	fine	form	,	and	certain	events	which	are	intially	curious	become	critically	linked	to	the	plot's	outcome	.	in	all	,	fans	of	foreign	film	will	see	this	as	a	memorable	motion	picture	,	and	novice	movie	watchers	may	take	this	opportunity	to	see	their	first	"	artsy	"	film	.	life	is	beautiful	is	an	artsy	movie	by	convention	but	easily	accessible	to	everyone	,	and	above	all	is	a	fine	thematic	picture	.
pos	bob	the	happy	bastard's	quickie	review	:	i	must	admit	,	no	doubt's	single	"	new	"	is	quite	catchy	.	it	was	bouncy	and	energetic	enough	to	get	me	to	go	see	this	new	film	from	director	doug	limon	,	the	man	who	had	brought	us	the	humorous	swingers	a	little	while	back	.	the	result	?	a	movie	that's	just	as	good	as	that	song	,	really	.	it	follows	the	lives	of	several	individuals	over	the	course	of	one	weekend	.	first	we	hear	about	a	grocery	bagger	(	sara	polley	)	who	runs	into	a	monetary	situation	problem	and	ends	up	selling	bogus	drugs	at	a	rave	(	with	bad	results	,	as	a	drug	dealer	feels	he's	been	swindled	by	her	)	;	then	comes	the	story	of	an	english	grocery	store	worker	(	same	store	)	who	heads	to	vegas	for	the	weekend	with	friends	,	where	sex	,	gunplay	,	and	stolen	car	trouble	come	into	play	;	then	we	see	the	story	of	two	gay	movie	actors	(	played	by	scott	wolf	and	jay	mohr	)	who	deal	with	a	cop's	strange	insurance	presentation	and	hitting	a	girl	(	sara	)	with	their	car	;	and	,	finally	,	we	come	to	another	grocery	worker	(	katie	holmes	)	who	has	a	strange	fascination	with	said	drug	dealer	(	the	one	mentioned	earlier	)	.	really	,	it's	all	confusing	to	keep	track	of	in	review	format	,	your	best	bet	is	to	just	,	well	,	go	.	the	movie	features	some	very	good	acting	from	all	angles	,	and	limon	adds	the	same	humorous	energy	he	had	with	swingers	to	this	particular	product	.	the	dialogue	is	pretty	snappy	and	the	resolution	is	pretty	well	realized	,	not	going	for	the	sappy	happy	ending	nor	the	dreaded	bad	ending	.	think	of	it	as	a	,	well	,	ending	.	the	intertwining	of	stories	is	a	particularly	good	element	to	the	movie	,	as	it's	never	really	confusing	and	tells	different	sides	of	the	story	,	like	sliding	doors	kinda	did	.	however	,	it's	better	suited	for	the	younger	generation	who	want	a	little	spice	in	their	flicks	,	which	sliding	doors	kinda	isn't	.
pos	starring	:	jay	mohr	,	hallie	kate	eisenberg	,	tony	shalhoub	,	cheech	marin	,	trini	alvarado	ingredients	:	lost	parrot	trying	to	get	home	,	friendssynopsis	:	a	russian	janitor	named	misha	(	tony	shalhoub	)	discovers	a	little	old	parrot	languishing	in	the	basement	of	a	science	research	facility	.	"	paulie	the	talking	parrot	"	(	the	voice	of	jay	mohr	)	soon	regales	misha	with	his	life	story	.	as	a	young	bird	paulie	is	raised	by	marie	(	hallie	kate	eisenberg	)	,	a	little	girl	with	a	speech	impediment	.	by	attending	marie's	speech	lessons	,	paulie	learns	to	act	speak	like	a	regular	person	.	unfortunately	,	after	being	unfairly	blamed	for	an	accident	,	paulie	is	taken	to	a	pawn	shop	and	sold	.	paulie's	biggest	wish	is	to	return	to	marie	.	many	years	later	,	and	after	a	succession	of	memorable	owners	(	gena	rowlands	,	cheech	marin	,	and	jay	mohr	)	,	paulie	falls	in	with	a	bad	crowd	and	is	apprehended	in	los	angeles	trying	to	steal	jewelry	.	he	is	sent	to	a	cruel	research	facility	,	where	he	refuses	to	participate	and	is	imprisoned	the	basement	.	will	misha	help	paulie	get	back	to	marie	?	opinion	:	every	time	people	watch	movies	that	portray	animals	as	beings	with	cute	human	personalities	,	some	well	meaning	audience	members	go	out	next	christmas	or	birthday	and	buy	a	dalmatian	or	whatever	creature	is	currently	popular	.	soon	enough	,	"	birthday	kid	"	loses	interest	and	the	purchased	pup	ends	up	at	the	local	pound	,	a	victim	of	neglect	.	my	sister	owns	a	real	paulie	:	it	thinks	like	a	parrot	,	bites	like	a	parrot	,	and	requires	as	much	attention	as	a	newborn	human	infant	.	please	think	twice	before	buying	one	.	okay	.	back	to	the	story	.	in	movies	,	parrots	usually	play	support	characters	,	but	paulie	might	be	the	first	movie	where	the	(	animatronic	)	bird	gets	main	billing	.	paulie	,	like	those	side	characters	in	disney	cartoons	,	is	cute	and	sassy	,	a	strutting	,	miniature	human	.	actually	,	paulie	is	the	voice	of	jay	mohr	(	he	played	jennifer	aniston's	boyfriend	on	picture	perfect	)	doing	his	best	buddy	hackett	impression	(	which	is	interesting	,	since	hackett	himself	cameos	as	the	pawn	shop	owner	,	and	mohr	doubles	as	a	customer	)	.	paulie	is	for	kids	.	while	watching	paulie	you	hear	little	tykes	in	the	theater	laughing	hysterically	when	paulie	calls	the	cat	a	"	stupid	furball	.	"	sometimes	,	however	,	there	are	statements	the	kids	don't	get	.	for	example	,	when	paulie's	elderly	owner	ivy	(	gena	rowlands	)	dies	,	paulie	explains	,	"	well	,	one	day	,	the	cat	got	her	.	"	and	you	hear	kids	exclaim	,	"	what	cat	?	!	"	imagine	lassie	come	home	,	except	with	a	doll	sized	human	dressed	as	a	bird	,	and	you'll	have	a	good	idea	of	the	plot	and	characterization	.	bird	tries	to	get	home	.	bird	meets	elderly	friend	.	bird	loses	elderly	friend	.	bird	meets	eccentric	friend	.	bird	loses	eccentric	friend	.	bird	meets	bad	influence	.	and	so	on	and	so	forth	,	with	paulie	meeting	friends	and	saying	goodbye	at	a	meandering	pace	until	he	finally	makes	it	back	to	marie	(	trini	alvarado	)	.	the	bottom	line	?	break	out	the	popcorn	money	,	moms	and	dads	.	paulie	may	be	the	low	end	version	of	lassie	,	bambi	,	or	babe	,	but	he'll	do	.	sometimes	the	wisecracks	go	over	their	heads	,	but	i'm	sure	youngsters	can	appreciate	a	story	about	a	little	person	(	paulie	)	trying	to	get	home	,	meeting	friends	and	experiencing	moral	lessons	on	the	way	.	and	good	luck	explaining	what	it	means	when	paulie	says	of	ivy	,	"	well	,	one	day	,	the	cat	got	her	.	"
pos	wild	things	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	(	out	of	)	columbia	1	:	53	1998	r	(	language	,	violence	,	nudity	,	sex	)	cast	:	matt	dillon	;	neve	campbell	;	denise	richards	;	kevin	bacon	;	daphne	rubin	vega	;	bill	murray	;	theresa	russell	;	robert	wagner	;	carrie	snodgress	director	:	john	mcnaughton	screenplay	:	stephen	peters	hr	jerry	springer	has	got	nothing	on	"	wild	things	.	"	john	mcnaughton's	new	thriller	tackles	more	tawdry	themes	in	less	than	two	hours	than	springer's	notoriously	sleazy	talk	show	broadcasts	in	two	weeks	bisexuality	,	threesomes	,	poolside	catfights	,	slutty	rich	bimbos	,	even	redneck	gator	wrestling	,	they're	all	part	of	the	movie's	raucous	,	complex	storyline	.	but	even	trash	tv	topicality	can't	drag	"	wild	things	"	down	this	crazy	campfest	plays	like	something	you'd	find	late	night	on	the	usa	network	,	only	infinitely	more	palatable	and	with	a	solid	ensemble	cast	.	despite	a	smattering	of	needless	scenes	(	most	of	them	sexual	in	nature	)	,	there's	wicked	fun	to	be	had	here	.	"	wild	things	"	would	be	a	guilty	pleasure	,	only	there's	no	guilty	feeling	involved	in	having	a	good	time	with	it	.	high	school	guidance	counselor	sam	lombardo	(	matt	dillon	)	is	well	liked	in	the	town	of	blue	bay	,	especially	by	pretty	,	popular	kelly	van	ryan	(	denise	richards	)	,	whose	family	name	is	among	the	florida	yachting	enclave's	most	financially	prominent	.	hoping	to	take	her	crush	to	a	physical	level	,	kelly	seductively	slinks	into	lombardo's	house	after	washing	his	jeep	for	a	fundraiser	,	but	,	the	very	next	day	,	tearfully	admits	to	her	trollop	mother	(	theresa	russell	)	that	she	was	raped	.	before	long	,	blue	bay	detectives	ray	duquette	(	kevin	bacon	)	and	gloria	perez	(	daphne	rubin	vega	)	are	listening	to	similar	allegations	from	kelly's	rebel	classmate	suzie	toller	(	neve	campbell	)	.	lombardo	,	who	maintains	his	innocence	,	hires	neck	brace	sporting	,	opportunistic	lawyer	ken	bowden	(	bill	murray	)	to	defend	him	in	court	.	the	previews	give	away	the	following	revelations	,	so	if	you	haven't	seen	any	of	the	movie's	spots	on	the	television	or	in	the	theater	,	you	might	want	to	skip	to	the	next	paragraph	.	while	cross	examining	suzie	on	the	witness	stand	,	bowden	gets	her	to	break	down	and	admit	that	the	alleged	rapes	never	took	place	that	kelly	had	concocted	this	entire	scheme	because	she	was	angry	that	lombardo	was	sleeping	with	her	mother	and	not	with	her	.	to	pay	lombardo	for	the	damages	,	kelly's	mother	breaks	her	daughter's	trust	fund	and	gives	him	8	.	5	million	.	but	lombardo	,	kelly	and	suzie	are	actually	all	working	together	,	and	plan	to	take	the	money	and	run	as	fast	as	they	can	.	duquette	and	perez	,	however	,	begin	to	suspect	that	there's	more	afoot	to	the	case	than	just	false	accusations	.	if	there's	a	major	drawback	to	"	wild	things	,	"	it's	that	it's	oversexed	to	a	fault	.	the	much	talked	about	hotel	room	menage	a	trois	between	dillon	,	campbell	and	richards	is	a	turn	off	.	it's	also	cut	short	(	sorry	,	guys	)	,	and	should	have	been	cut	shorter	the	movie	grinds	to	a	halt	for	pure	titillation	once	too	often	.	what	we	don't	see	is	far	more	effective	than	what	we	do	.	another	example	of	this	is	kevin	bacon	needlessly	going	the	full	monty	in	a	shower	scene	.	er	,	no	thanks	.	also	,	bacon's	duquette	feels	simultaneously	underdeveloped	and	overwritten	.	daphne	rubin	vega	,	from	broadway's	"	rent	,	"	tries	to	compensate	for	a	superfluous	character	.	theresa	russell	is	just	plain	wooden	.	and	when	,	in	the	end	,	all	is	out	in	the	open	,	ask	yourself	if	certain	scenes	involving	these	three	were	really	necessary	.	but	what	keeps	the	movie	from	being	throwaway	junk	is	an	engaging	chain	of	surprises	(	some	predictable	,	some	not	)	that	never	seems	to	end	.	"	wild	things	"	has	more	twists	than	a	crate	full	of	corkscrews	,	and	most	are	so	gleefully	,	over	the	top	nasty	that	you	can't	help	but	be	charmed	by	their	absurd	showmanship	.	a	great	deal	of	amusement	also	comes	from	watching	bill	murray	in	a	supporting	part	that	appears	to	have	been	written	for	his	sly	comedic	talent	;	murray's	a	stitch	,	especially	when	pulling	up	beside	the	van	ryan	limo	after	winning	lombardo's	case	and	flipping	them	off	.	and	don't	leave	when	the	closing	credits	hit	the	screen	,	or	you'll	miss	the	film's	best	part	four	bonus	flashbacks	that	smooth	over	plot	holes	while	offering	a	few	more	tiny	turns	,	plus	a	final	scene	that	caps	everything	off	with	a	great	stunner	of	a	bombshell	.	speaking	of	bombshells	,	denise	richards	,	who	plays	almost	every	scene	in	a	blue	bikini	top	,	does	the	teen	tease	thing	with	a	malicious	allure	that	she	was	never	allowed	to	flaunt	in	"	starship	troopers	.	"	matt	dillon	flexes	his	sleepy	voiced	sex	appeal	,	and	pulls	off	personality	changes	with	chameleonic	precision	.	neve	campbell	,	lovely	as	ever	except	when	sporting	a	blond	wig	,	gives	suzie	a	vengeful	vulnerability	that	makes	her	the	most	interesting	member	of	the	conspiring	trio	.	re	edited	and	toned	down	a	bit	,	the	dynamics	between	these	three	actors	could	have	carried	the	film	to	greater	lengths	.	but	what	we're	given	works	well	enough	.	"	wild	things	"	is	highly	entertaining	and	,	indeed	,	very	wild	.	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	suggestions	,	please	,	for	the	fourth	movie	in	the	series	.	how	about	look	who's	talking	back	,	'	in	which	the	audience	gets	its	turn	?	"	roger	ebert	on	"	look	who's	talking	now	"
pos	the	premise	is	simple	,	if	not	bizarre	.	a	mad	scientist	(	trace	beaulieu	as	dr	.	clayton	forrester	)	launches	an	average	joe	(	michael	j	.	nelson	as	mike	nelson	)	into	space	where	he	forces	his	subject	to	watch	the	most	horrendous	movies	ever	made	.	why	?	it's	torturous	,	it's	maniacal	,	and	it's	just	plain	fun	.	based	on	the	cult	favorite	cable	television	series	,	mystery	science	theater	3000	:	the	movie	isn't	torturous	,	but	as	for	being	maniacal	and	just	plain	fun	,	it	foots	the	bill	quite	nicely	.	mike	nelson	,	on	a	dog	bone	shaped	spacecraft	,	spends	his	days	as	any	young	man	would	dream	indulging	in	sarcasm	and	horseplay	,	and	seeing	quite	a	few	movies	.	the	catch	is	,	these	movies	aren't	the	movies	he	chooses	,	but	retched	examples	of	film	making	chosen	specifically	by	dr	.	forrester	in	an	attempt	to	break	mike's	will	to	live	.	dr	.	forrester	is	convinced	that	one	too	many	b	movies	is	all	it	will	take	to	ruin	a	man	,	but	with	a	couple	of	wise	cracking	puppet	buddies	(	tom	servo	,	voiced	by	kevin	murphy	,	and	crow	t	.	robot	,	voiced	by	beaulieu	)	,	the	torture	becomes	somewhat	of	a	honorary	party	for	all	that	is	wrong	in	the	world	of	cheezy	cinema	.	the	purpose	behind	mst3k	is	to	exploit	some	of	the	worst	films	known	(	even	if	by	very	few	of	us	)	to	man	.	we	watch	as	the	silhouettes	of	mike	,	tom	,	and	crow	sit	in	a	darkened	theater	poking	fun	at	the	movie	going	on	before	them	.	in	this	case	,	it's	the	1954	sci	fi	film	this	island	earth	.	we	basically	watch	as	our	three	leads	watch	,	only	we	get	the	pleasure	of	eavesdropping	on	their	hilarious	commentary	.	the	plots	behind	the	movies	ripped	apart	are	really	quite	irrelevant	,	but	for	the	sake	of	those	who	might	want	to	know	,	i'll	explain	this	one	.	this	island	earth	is	the	tale	of	two	scientists	,	a	man	and	a	woman	,	who	wind	up	aboard	a	spaceship	whose	crew	intends	to	destroy	the	earth	.	together	the	two	fight	to	survive	as	well	as	save	their	home	planet	.	to	make	mst3k	work	,	the	film	within	the	film	naturally	has	to	be	as	horrible	as	possible	,	and	although	the	tv	series	introduced	us	to	several	worse	films	than	this	island	earth	,	it's	a	bad	enough	flick	to	bring	about	some	hysterical	cruelty	.	mst3k	,	which	doesn't	actually	contain	the	complete	this	island	earth	,	is	a	short	73	minutes	,	but	this	is	a	step	very	wisely	taken	.	as	funny	as	some	of	their	observations	are	,	it	can	only	go	so	long	.	occasional	breaks	from	this	island	earth	also	help	the	film	tremendously	.	although	it	takes	a	second	to	get	back	into	the	right	mode	after	this	premise	has	been	left	for	a	moment	,	it's	better	than	overkilling	the	whole	concept	post	haste	.	mst3k	lovers	will	likely	hail	the	film	greatly	,	but	if	you	don't	know	what	you're	in	for	,	it	could	be	a	jarring	disappointment	.	although	i	thought	the	sharp	wit	of	this	film	was	worth	three	stars	,	it	is	a	movie	to	be	seen	on	home	video	,	late	at	night	when	your	brain	is	not	functioning	to	full	capacity	anyway	,	and	with	a	large	,	saracastic	crowd	new	year's	at	midnight	for	example	,	which	is	when	i	saw	it	.	warning	:	although	mst3k	has	more	to	its	end	credits	than	most	(	the	three	leads	use	the	credits	to	poke	some	more	fun	)	,	they	are	actually	more	annoying	than	most	.	the	name	slandering	and	asinine	one	liners	were	extremely	unfunny	,	and	after	laughing	for	about	70	minutes	straight	,	it	put	a	heavy	damper	on	the	overall	experience	.	most	people	will	likely	stay	to	see	what	the	smart	alec's	have	to	say	,	but	for	me	,	it	almost	ruined	an	otherwise	good	film	.
pos	produced	,	directed	,	and	written	by	hayao	miyazaki	1988	(	1993	,	american	release	)	,	color	,	87	minutes	i'm	an	anime	fan	.	yes	,	that's	right	,	one	of	those	people	who	religiously	collects	japanese	animation	by	methods	of	sometimes	dubious	legality	,	huddles	in	dark	screening	rooms	at	science	fiction	conventions	to	get	my	"	fix	,	"	complains	prodigiously	about	dubs	(	especially	those	from	streamline	)	,	and	is	probably	looked	upon	rather	oddly	by	most	of	the	people	i	know	because	of	it	.	as	i	said	,	i	tend	to	complain	prodigiously	about	dubs	,	especially	those	done	by	streamline	.	as	such	,	it's	probably	more	than	a	little	surprising	to	you	that	i'm	rating	this	particular	streamline	dub	so	highly	.	i	know	it's	damn	surprising	to	me	.	you	see	,	streamline	has	this	annoying	little	habit	of	changing	the	lines	that	they're	supposed	to	be	dubbing	.	the	most	notable	example	that	comes	to	mind	is	when	goemon	the	samurai	cuts	lupin's	burning	clothes	off	of	him	in	the	movie	lupin	iii	:	castle	of	cagliostro	.	in	the	original	,	he	says	afterward	,	"	once	again	,	i've	cut	a	worthless	object	.	"	in	the	streamline	dub	,	he	says	,	"	should've	worn	an	asbestos	suit	.	"	and	the	president	of	streamline	,	carl	macek	,	has	stated	that	he	will	never	subtitle	any	of	his	films	.	purist	that	i	am	,	i	find	this	kind	of	thing	totally	unacceptable	,	so	i	was	,	to	say	the	least	,	highly	dubious	of	totoro	.	what	made	the	cagliostro	dub	all	the	more	disappointing	was	the	fact	that	the	movie	was	one	of	my	favorites	in	the	subtitled	format	.	it	was	a	hayao	miyazaki	film	,	and	miyazaki	is	my	favorite	anime	creator	.	he's	done	some	truly	beautiful	films	cagliostro	,	laputa	:	castle	in	the	sky	,	kiki's	delivery	service	,	nausicaa	of	the	valley	of	the	wind	,	and	my	neighbor	totoro	,	to	name	a	few	.	it	is	sadly	ironic	that	streamline	got	its	hands	on	most	of	these	,	and	thus	no	"	decent	"	commercial	version	will	ever	be	produced	.	anyway	,	enough	streamline	bashing	;	that	isn't	the	point	of	this	review	.	as	i've	said	,	i	was	skeptical	of	totoro	,	even	though	some	friends	and	acquaintances	told	me	it	was	quite	good	.	however	,	since	miyazaki	is	my	favorite	director	,	i	knew	i	would	eventually	have	to	see	it	.	but	as	my	concession	to	myself	before	seeing	a	streamline	dub	(	an	act	which	tends	to	make	me	come	away	feeling	rather	dirty	)	,	i	decided	to	obtain	and	view	the	fan	subtitled	version	first	.	thus	,	i	watched	the	totoro	fansub	one	night	and	the	totoro	commercial	dubbed	release	the	next	.	even	though	totoro	is	touted	as	a	children's	movie	(	and	a	very	good	children's	movie	it	is	,	too	)	,	is	is	a	film	that	will	likely	enthrall	and	at	the	very	least	not	bore	(	or	,	for	that	matter	,	nauseate	barney	,	anyone	?	)	any	grown	ups	who	watch	it	too	.	the	story	is	fairly	simple	two	young	girls	and	their	father	move	into	a	house	in	the	japanese	countryside	to	be	closer	to	their	hospitalized	mother	,	and	the	girls	meet	and	befriend	the	magical	creatures	that	live	in	the	forest	nearby	.	but	there's	more	to	this	film	than	that	.	my	neighbor	totoro	gives	us	sort	of	a	window	into	japanese	culture	,	painting	a	picture	of	life	amid	the	rice	paddies	that	is	filled	with	all	the	wonder	and	magic	it	has	when	seen	through	the	eyes	of	a	child	.	it's	not	my	favorite	miyazaki	story	,	but	i	couldn't	help	but	be	entranced	by	its	simple	charm	all	the	same	.	miyazaki	always	does	that	to	me	.	one	thing	about	miyazaki	is	that	he	likes	to	make	references	to	other	films	.	for	example	,	in	both	laputa	:	castle	in	the	sky	and	an	episode	of	the	"	lupin	"	tv	series	that	he	directed	,	a	robot	is	featured	that	looks	remarkably	similar	to	one	from	a	1930s	fleischer	superman	short	.	in	my	neighbor	totoro	there	are	references	to	at	least	a	couple	of	children's	movies	namely	,	mary	poppins	and	alice	in	wonderland	.	i	had	to	smile	.	as	i've	said	,	i	was	quite	skeptical	up	to	the	moment	when	i	put	the	dub	into	the	vcr	and	pressed	play	.	my	skepticism	began	its	immediate	decline	when	the	opening	theme	began	playing	.	as	this	is	a	children's	movie	,	it	was	to	be	expected	that	the	music	would	be	translated	into	english	,	and	i	was	half	expecting	some	sort	of	stupid	kiddie	song	that	would	be	entirely	unrelated	to	the	spirit	of	the	original	.	but	as	soon	as	the	theme	began	,	my	jaw	dropped	,	for	they	had	somehow	managed	to	translate	that	song	almost	excatly	.	the	english	singer	even	sounded	like	the	original	japanese	one	!	and	it	was	thus	throughout	the	entire	film	.	not	only	were	the	translations	nearly	flawless	but	even	the	voice	acting	was	dead	on	!	my	friend	had	said	to	me	that	the	voices	in	the	english	version	sounded	just	like	the	voices	in	the	japanese	version	.	and	they	did	!	the	translations	were	98	accurate	even	trivial	lines	that	weren't	important	to	the	story	were	often	rendered	correctly	.	by	the	time	the	closing	credits	had	rolled	,	i	had	realized	that	my	fansubbed	copy	of	this	movie	was	going	to	be	gathering	a	lot	of	dust	.	a	brief	summary	of	the	most	noticeable	differences	between	the	original	and	the	dubbed	versions	:	the	opening	and	closing	songs	are	in	english	,	as	i've	said	.	the	minor	elements	of	buddhism	(	the	religion	usually	depicted	in	anime	)	have	been	removed	:	where	in	the	original	the	older	sister	prays	at	a	shrine	to	let	them	take	shelter	from	the	rain	there	,	she	now	asks	,	"	would	it	be	all	right	if	we	stay	here	?	"	;	where	an	old	lady	was	chanting	a	prayer	to	buddha	she	is	now	murmuring	in	the	style	of	someone	praying	under	her	breath	.	the	film	has	been	pan	and	scanned	,	as	well	.	one	thing	which	particularly	relieves	me	is	that	carl	macek	didn't	pull	any	of	his	usual	"	hide	the	kanji	at	all	costs	"	tricks	which	so	often	make	the	opening	credits	of	movies	he	dubs	look	like	crud	.	(	in	order	to	hide	the	japanese	symbols	in	the	castle	of	cagliostro	opening	credits	,	for	example	,	he	slowed	down	the	opening	animation	and	reframed	parts	of	the	picture	,	and	it	looked	utterly	disgusting	.	)	in	the	scenes	where	a	bus's	sign	changes	to	indicate	its	destination	,	he	dubbed	in	a	voice	(	provided	,	so	i'm	told	,	by	carl	himself	)	that	said	,	"	next	stop	.	.	.	"	in	one	instance	a	subtitle	is	provided	for	translation	.	as	many	instances	of	kanji	as	there	are	in	this	film	,	i'm	glad	he	didn't	try	to	hide	them	this	time	.	another	thing	which	relieves	me	is	that	none	of	the	names	are	changed	.	all	the	original	japanese	names	are	still	used	,	and	even	pronounced	properly	,	as	far	as	i	know	(	i	especially	like	the	way	the	older	sister	pronounces	"	totoro	"	)	.	this	is	one	more	element	that	adds	to	the	general	japanese	ambiance	of	this	movie	.	it	makes	me	feel	as	though	the	characters	actually	are	japanese	,	but	i	just	happen	to	be	able	to	understand	them	for	some	mysterious	reason	.	very	few	dubs	have	ever	done	that	for	me	.	and	now	i've	reached	the	point	where	,	in	summing	up	,	i'm	probably	supposed	to	draw	upon	those	phrases	that	have	become	cliches	by	virtue	of	repeated	use	in	magazine	movie	reviews	and	inclusion	on	the	backs	of	video	boxes	.	things	like	"	this	is	a	magical	film	for	all	ages	,	"	for	example	.	but	i'm	not	trying	to	advertise	this	movie	;	it's	not	like	i'm	going	to	make	money	off	of	it	or	anything	.	so	,	i'll	just	sum	up	with	a	few	observations	,	instead	.	this	is	one	of	very	few	dubs	that	i	would	not	feel	ashamed	to	show	to	other	people	.	it	maintains	the	integrity	of	the	original	almost	to	the	last	detail	.	the	film	itself	is	easily	comparable	to	some	of	disney's	best	,	with	an	attention	to	detail	that	disney	sometimes	lacks	.	if	you're	looking	for	something	you	can	show	the	kiddies	that	won't	have	them	karate	chopping	around	the	house	afterward	,	get	my	neighbor	totoro	.	if	you're	a	fan	of	good	animation	yourself	,	get	my	neighbor	totoro	.	if	nothing	else	,	rental	will	only	cost	a	buck	or	two	,	and	trust	me	the	experience	is	more	than	worth	it	.	(	this	review	is	copyright	1995	by	christopher	e	.	meadows	.	distribution	is	okay	as	long	as	it's	not	for	profit	and	this	notice	remains	intact	.	distribution	on	cd	rom	is	verboten	without	chris's	permission	,	however	.	)
pos	directed	by	:	david	n	.	twohy	written	by	:	david	n	.	twohy	cast	:	charlie	sheen	(	zane	ziminski	)	,	ron	silver	(	phil	gordian	)	,	lindsay	crouse	(	ilana	green	)	,	teri	polo	(	char	)	,	tony	t	.	johnson	(	kiki	)	,	richard	schiff	(	calvin	leon	rippy	)	produced	by	:	orion	films	rating	:	1	2	run	time	:	approx	.	115	minutes	despite	having	charlie	sheen	as	its	lead	(	with	a	goatee	,	no	less	,	and	as	a	radio	astronomer	.	eww	!	)	and	a	tacky	environmental	message	,	the	arrival	is	a	nicely	paced	movie	with	good	special	effects	that	don't	yell	"	big	budget	"	in	your	face	the	whole	time	you're	watching	it	.	sheen	plays	zane	ziminski	,	an	obsessive	paranoic	scientist	who	along	with	his	partner	(	richard	schiff	)	records	a	clear	radio	transmission	from	space	one	night	.	despite	initial	rejoicing	,	things	don't	develop	the	way	you'd	expect	when	the	authorities	receive	evidence	of	this	transmission	.	ziminski	gets	fired	,	his	partner	gets	killed	and	suddenly	the	whole	world's	just	a	heck	of	a	lot	more	complicated	for	ziminski	than	he	likes	.	it's	hard	to	say	what	else	happens	without	giving	everything	away	.	trying	to	track	and	reconfirm	the	same	signal	he	received	,	ziminski	builds	a	makeshift	satellite	while	masquerading	as	a	cable	man	(	i	guess	there	are	more	than	just	movie	stars	on	cable	vision	!	)	,	and	his	discoveries	soon	lead	him	to	an	ominous	looking	plant	in	mexico	.	there	he	meets	an	environmentalist	whose	work	is	increasingly	troubling	in	its	extraordinary	reports	on	the	earth's	atmostphere	.	the	story	probably	sounds	a	little	cliched	,	but	the	arrival	is	a	better	movie	than	usual	,	and	recent	,	alien	fare	like	independence	day	,	or	species	.	this	is	because	it	develops	,	and	keeps	to	,	an	almost	believable	storyline	,	one	that	engages	the	viewer	continually	as	it	reveals	information	in	various	steps	throughout	the	movie	.	director	twohy	,	who	was	a	screenwriter	for	alien	3	and	the	fugitive	,	also	does	a	good	job	of	building	and	maintaining	suspense	,	preferring	wisely	not	to	just	rely	on	the	special	effects	team	for	impressing	its	audience	.	all	in	all	,	i'd	say	this	movie's	worth	its	s	7	ticket	.	hey	,	anything	that	makes	me	want	to	watch	it	through	despite	having	charlie	sheen	in	its	lead	role	is	worth	seven	bucks	.	the	flying	inkpot	rating	system	:	wait	for	the	tv2	broadcast	.	a	little	creaky	,	but	still	better	than	staying	at	home	with	gotcha	!	pretty	good	,	bring	a	friend	.	amazing	,	potent	stuff	.	perfection	.	see	it	twice	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	current	film	reviews	can	be	found	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	"	http	:	www	.	inkpot	.	com	film	hr	a
pos	virtual	reality	is	a	topic	that	has	almost	defined	its	own	genre	.	since	'dark	city'	(	1998	)	,	films	about	alternative	universes	and	parallel	worlds	have	been	coming	one	after	another	.	the	most	popular	and	original	of	them	all	has	been	the	matrix	.	all	the	films	released	after	it	,	have	been	less	successful	.	david	cronenberg's	existenz	,	released	only	a	couple	of	months	after	the	matrix	,	was	accepted	and	even	appreciated	(	by	some	)	,	but	the	hype	was	gone	.	and	when	'the	thirteenth	floor'	aired	this	fall	,	it	was	completely	overseen	and	ignored	.	i	admit	that	this	issue	has	become	something	between	tiring	and	annoying	,	feeling	like	eating	the	same	meal	over	and	over	again	.	it	was	therefore	i	was	less	than	excited	,	when	i	went	out	to	see	to	'the	thirteenth	floor'	.	however	,	i	was	positively	surprised	by	josef	rusnak's	latest	picture	.	matrix	was	an	entertaining	thrill	ride	through	dreams	and	reality	,	combining	the	best	of	hollywood's	action	and	effects	with	an	intelligent	story	.	existenz	was	a	violent	,	gory	and	unsettling	journey	through	reality	and	virtual	reality	,	ending	in	blood	and	madness	.	'the	thirteenth	floor'	is	somewhere	in	between	.	instead	of	going	after	the	crowds	the	action	audience	(	like	the	matrix	)	,	or	aiming	at	the	horror	fans	(	like	existenz	)	,	'the	thirteenth	floor'	presents	a	more	intelligent	plot	,	witch	will	provide	a	less	entertaining	and	more	serious	experience	,	that	the	true	science	fiction	lovers	will	find	rewarding	.	in	a	near	future	.	.	.	on	the	thirteenth	floor	of	a	classified	building	,	a	genius	scientist	,	hannon	fuller	,	has	created	a	simulated	world	,	his	personal	dreamworld	,	where	every	inhabitant	is	a	complex	,	selflearning	program	that	only	believes	it	is	real	.	right	after	the	first	testing	of	this	world	,	fuller	(	)	is	found	murdered	.	douglas	hall	(	)	,	his	closest	friend	and	business	partner	,	immediately	becomes	the	prime	suspect	and	must	enter	through	the	thirteenth	floor	in	search	of	the	truth	.	a	beautiful	woman	(	gretchen	mol	)	who	suddenly	appears	on	the	scene	may	hold	the	key	to	the	mystery	,	which	might	unravel	the	horrifying	truth	about	his	own	existence	.	the	first	"	download	into	simulation	"	is	impressive	.	it	is	the	creator's	first	visit	to	his	world	,	his	creation	.	in	order	to	enter	this	virtual	universe	,	you	have	to	take	over	someone's	identity	,	become	another	person	.	this	is	called	conciseness	transfer	,	and	this	is	part	of	the	tragedy	in	the	film	:	people	"	wake	up	"	in	unknown	places	and	strange	things	start	happen	.	they	start	to	doubt	in	their	own	sanity	.	these	innocent	people	pay	for	the	mistakes	of	their	"	users	"	and	creators	with	their	sanity	and	their	lives	.	it	is	a	frightening	reality	;	the	fact	that	all	the	people	in	the	simulation	(	the	program	links	)	are	living	out	their	lives	,	oblivious	,	not	knowing	that	they	are	puppets	in	someone's	fantasy	.	with	an	appealing	(	"	blade	runner	"	type	)	of	detective	story	,	this	film	presents	the	beauty	and	possibilities	of	virtual	reality	and	the	lurking	danger	that	is	always	present	.	our	modern	world	is	metal	and	glass	cold	,	unfriendly	,	impersonal	.	the	thirties	are	different	colorful	,	beautiful	,	elegant	,	virile	.	this	contrast	demonstrates	a	wish	for	change	.	virtual	reality	is	here	portrayed	as	a	magical	,	enchanting	power	that	seduces	you	into	its	endless	possibilities	.	to	some	it	is	just	a	journey	to	their	personal	paradise	,	to	some	a	personal	playground	a	life	without	any	consequences	.	for	others	a	way	to	start	over	and	"	correct	"	their	mistakes	,	by	living	in	an	illusion	of	their	past	.	virtual	reality	is	a	wizard	that	transforms	your	hopes	,	dreams	and	fantasies	to	life	.	at	least	that's	how	it	is	all	beginning	.	but	when	you're	waking	up	from	your	dream	,	the	real	world	seems	worthless	and	unreal	and	all	you	can	think	off	is	returning	to	your	personal	paradise	.	this	,	almost	narcotic	effect	,	soon	turns	into	confusion	and	ultimately	madness	.	some	important	and	interesting	philosophical	questions	are	raised	what	is	real	?	what	is	thought	?	who	are	we	?	if	these	were	answered	,	this	film	would	be	the	greatest	science	fiction	ever	made	.	they	are	off	course	not	answered	,	but	posed	in	an	intelligent	manner	.	the	visual	aspect	of	the	film	is	one	of	the	key	elements	,	since	it	portrays	the	contrast	between	these	computer	simulated	universes	.	kirk	m	.	petrucelli	has	done	a	marvelous	job	with	the	recreation	of	the	thirties	with	its	glamour	,	grace	and	color	;	and	setting	this	world	in	opposition	to	our	own	an	almost	caricatured	recreation	of	the	nineties	.	there	are	some	honest	and	decent	performances	by	an	almost	unknown	cast	and	harald	klose's	moody	musical	score	that	is	at	in	right	place	at	the	right	time	.	a	rather	unusual	thing	about'the	thirteenth	floor'	is	the	almost	complete	lack	of	special	effects	.	there	are	no	cgi	animated	creatures	,	no	bullets	in	slow	motion	.	this	is	a	more	philosophical	approach	,	reminding	about	the	european	way	of	filmmaking	.	this	is	off	course	a	major	disappointment	to	the	audience	that	is	used	to	endless	gunfights	and	mutated	amphibians	,	but	the	more	serious	science	fiction	buffs	and	'dark	city'	fans	will	be	pleased	.	this	film	is	interesting	and	inspiring	.	it	has	everything	existenz	doesn't	,	but	it	lacks	the	immediacy	and	intensity	of	the	matrix	.	and	then	there	is	a	happy	end	which	,	like	in	'dark	city'	,	completely	alienates	it	from	the	rest	of	the	story	and	context	.	the	plot	itself	is	not	as	original	as	the	filmmakers	want	us	to	think	,	since	they	have	virtually	sucked	out	all	information	from	the	best	science	fiction	classics	,	including	blade	runner	and	'dark	city'	.	with	this	in	mind	,	'the	thirteenth	floor'	doesn't	make	an	oscar	candidate	or	a	film	that	will	be	remembered	a	year	from	now	,	yet	this	is	a	beautiful	,	elegant	and	intelligent	take	on	virtual	reality	.
pos	one	of	the	most	entertaining	james	bond	films	from	the	roger	moore	era	,	the	spy	who	loved	me	is	probably	the	biggest	budget	bond	movie	,	with	huge	sets	and	props	as	well	as	some	blockbuster	action	scenes	.	and	how	can	you	not	like	a	movie	that	co	stars	ringo's	wife	,	barbara	bach	,	and	features	a	non	stop	disco	version	of	the	traditional	series	score	?	it's	a	globe	trotting	action	movie	that	has	bond	and	mrs	.	starr	,	a	beautiful	russian	spy	,	teaming	up	to	end	spectre's	latest	threat	.	this	time	,	it's	a	madman	who	kidnaps	two	nuclear	submarines	,	one	russian	and	one	american	.	his	plan	is	to	destroy	the	civilized	world	as	we	know	it	and	begin	an	underwater	society	.	this	is	somebody	who	went	a	little	too	far	after	seeing	the	little	mermaid	.	i	know	the	shell	bra	is	a	real	turn	on	,	but	give	me	a	break	.	the	bond	formula	works	especially	well	here	.	even	though	the	omnipresent	disco	score	becomes	annoying	and	the	ski	slope	chase	scene	at	the	beginning	is	blue	screen	technology	at	its	worst	,	there	are	still	more	than	enough	gadgets	,	explosions	,	chases	,	etc	.	to	make	up	.	and	as	usual	,	bond's	three	woman	quota	is	reached	with	a	little	help	from	mrs	.	starr	,	who	also	makes	the	movie	a	standout	in	the	series	.	most	of	the	beautiful	women	from	the	70's	were	hidden	behind	the	ugly	bell	bottoms	and	poofy	hair	,	which	makes	bach's	straight	haired	,	smartly	dressed	agent	xxx	a	welcome	exception	.	i'd	have	to	say	ringo	starr	is	the	luckiest	bastard	on	earth	.	first	his	talentless	self	got	to	be	in	the	greatest	rock	and	roll	band	ever	,	then	he	married	one	of	the	hottest	ladies	of	the	70's	,	now	he	gets	to	eat	his	pizza	_	crust	first	_	!	we	should	all	be	so	fortunate	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a
pos	bowfinger	is	a	good	movie	about	the	making	of	a	very	bad	one	.	the	screenplay	,	written	by	co	star	steve	martin	,	skewers	everything	in	hollywood	from	cheesy	science	fiction	movies	to	chop	socky	fight	sequences	,	and	all	in	a	crafty	and	accomplished	manner	.	anyone	who	knows	of	,	or	has	had	any	association	with	movie	making	should	thoroughly	enjoy	this	clever	comedy	for	it's	entire	duration	.	the	central	premise	behind	the	film	is	an	inspired	and	promising	one	.	bobby	bowfinger	(	martin	)	,	a	cheapskate	and	small	time	hollywood	producer	,	has	always	dreamed	of	making	a	successful	motion	picture	but	has	never	attained	the	proper	tools	to	do	so	.	a	new	script	,	an	alien	invasion	story	entitled	chubby	rain	,	has	caught	bowfinger's	eye	.	after	confronting	a	big	name	producer	named	jerry	renfro	(	robert	downey	jr	.	)	in	a	restaurant	,	an	agreement	is	made	to	finance	the	movie	.	but	first	,	bowfinger	must	get	renowned	action	star	kit	ramsey	(	eddie	murphy	)	to	sign	in	on	the	project	.	kit	turns	the	offer	down	immediately	,	but	bowfinger	still	has	the	intent	to	shoot	the	film	.	after	emptying	out	his	life	savings	,	the	hapless	producer	tells	the	remaining	cast	and	crew	that	ramsey	is	involved	,	and	then	prepares	to	film	the	movie	without	the	star's	knowledge	.	the	actors	confront	ramsey	on	the	street	,	saying	their	lines	as	hidden	cameras	peek	through	bushes	to	capture	the	footage	.	the	unknowing	star	,	who	is	terrified	of	aliens	and	being	abducted	,	is	brought	to	believe	there	is	actually	pod	people	after	him	.	when	the	conditions	become	even	more	treacherous	,	bowfinger	is	forced	to	hire	a	kit	ramsey	look	alike	named	jiff	(	also	murphy	)	,	a	sweet	natured	dork	who	runs	for	coffee	in	between	shooting	vital	scenes	.	these	include	attempting	a	suicide	run	across	an	8	lane	freeway	,	and	one	of	the	hot'	scenes	involving	supporting	actress	daisy	(	heather	graham	)	removing	her	blouse	.	bowfinger	takes	it's	sweet	time	getting	started	,	but	when	the	plot	switches	into	high	gear	,	great	things	happen	.	certain	scenes	are	so	precisely	executed	,	perfectly	framing	moments	that	are	absolutely	fall	down	funny	.	no	,	hilarious	.	standouts	include	the	chase	through	a	parking	garage	in	which	ramsey	,	who's	supposed	to	be	being	followed	,	keeps	checking	behind	him	to	investigate	a	strange	tapping	noise	(	it's	actually	bowfinger's	dog	in	high	heels	)	.	and	just	try	not	to	laugh	in	the	climactic	kung	fu	sequence	,	featuring	jiff	in	an	excerpt	from	another	bowfinger	classic	entitled	fake	purse	ninjas	.	while	the	entire	97	minutes	of	bowfinger	isn't	always	on	target	,	individual	scenes	may	have	you	rolling	in	the	aisles	.	masterful	comedy	director	frank	oz	(	dirty	rotten	scoundrels	,	in	and	out	)	,	who	has	never	made	a	bad	movie	,	ensures	a	quality	final	product	and	is	aided	immensely	by	martin's	sharp	edged	script	.	however	,	the	real	on	screen	star	is	eddie	murphy	.	this	is	the	actor's	finest	work	since	his	breakthrough	into	the	hollywood	market	in	the	early	80's	.	murphy	excels	at	every	corner	,	not	only	succeeding	with	presenting	believable	paranoia	in	the	eyes	of	kit	ramsey	,	but	in	creating	a	likable	buffoon	in	jiff	as	well	.	these	three	talented	comic	minds	have	squeezed	every	morsel	of	potential	out	of	this	premise	,	and	the	reward	is	a	virtually	guaranteed	helping	of	hearty	laughs	.	steve	martin	generates	the	power	behind	bowfinger	,	but	murphy	fuels	it	.	this	is	a	summer	time	comedy	that	,	unlike	something	such	as	american	pie	and	south	park	,	doesn't	break	any	rules	.	but	it's	still	just	as	uproarious	,	or	perhaps	even	more	side	splitting	than	anything	we've	seen	this	season	.	the	supporting	cast	,	including	christine	baranski	as	a	work	loving	actress	and	jamie	kennedy	as	the	cameraman	,	all	perform	well	within	their	limits	.	the	only	presence	that	demands	real	attention	when	placed	next	to	martin	or	murphy	is	the	beautiful	heather	graham	,	as	the	young	film	star	who	has	plans	to	sleep	her	way	to	the	top	.	graham	,	attempting	to	further	her	stardom	after	appearing	as	the	new	powers'	girl	in	ap2	,	displays	a	cheerful	but	naive	persona	that	nicely	corresponds	with	the	wackiness	of	the	screenplay	.	i	wouldn't	be	caught	dead	buying	a	ticket	for	chubby	rain	,	but	watching	how	it	all	came	about	is	certainly	entertaining	enough	.
pos	starring	devon	sawa	,	ali	larter	,	kerr	smith	,	kristen	cloke	,	seann	william	scott	,	and	tony	todd	.	directed	by	james	wong	written	by	glen	morgan	,	jeffrey	reddick	,	and	james	wong	even	if	i	did	not	know	that	director	and	co	writers	james	wong	and	jeffrey	reddick	of	the	creepy	final	destination	helped	create	the	hit	television	show	the	x	files	,	i	would	have	inevitably	made	a	connection	.	the	similarities	are	very	apparent	from	the	inexplicable	phenomenon	like	plot	,	to	the	mysterious	characters	,	to	the	overall	dark	,	ominous	settings	.	it	would	have	been	perfectly	fitting	to	see	fbi	agents	mulder	and	scully	investigate	this	case	,	they	witness	stuff	like	this	on	a	weekly	basis	(	in	fact	mulder	and	scully	would	have	been	a	much	more	welcome	change	to	the	bland	one	dimensional	fbi	agents	seen	in	this	movie	)	.	another	more	important	similarity	,	is	that	both	succeed	in	entertaining	and	thrilling	at	the	same	time	.	this	is	a	great	accomplishment	for	a	teen	horror	movie	,	especially	when	compared	to	some	of	the	trash	,	of	the	same	genre	,	released	in	the	last	couple	of	years	(	urban	legend	and	i	still	know	what	you	did	last	summer	are	classic	examples	from	the	bunch	)	.	what	helps	final	destination	is	its	unique	premise	.	unlike	your	average	horror	flick	in	which	some	invincible	psycho	with	a	knife	chases	blonde	cheerleaders	,	the	villain	presented	is	unusual	,	it's	the	grim	reaper	.	this	being	already	has	predestined	when	and	how	you	will	die	.	according	to	the	brief	history	lesson	given	in	this	film	,	everyone	was	meant	to	die	at	a	certain	time	,	some	people	at	100	,	others	at	17	,	whatever	death	chooses	.	what	is	unique	about	death	is	that	it's	already	dead	,	so	you	can't	really	kill	it	.	the	only	way	to	defeat	death	is	to	cheat	it	;	the	question	is	how	do	you	do	that	?	this	dilemma	is	what	faces	alex	and	a	group	of	teenagers	.	alex	has	been	having	some	dreams	that	the	airplane	which	will	take	his	class	on	a	trip	to	paris	will	crash	,	leaving	no	survivors	.	alex	begins	to	realize	that	his	dreams	are	a	little	too	real	and	eventually	gets	himself	and	six	others	kicked	off	the	plane	right	before	it	takes	off	.	shortly	after	,	the	plane	does	indeed	crash	leaving	some	of	the	seven	survivors	confused	and	others	feeling	immortal	.	however	,	death	isn't	through	with	them	yet	.	it	gradually	kills	off	the	seven	one	by	one	,	leaving	those	currently	still	alive	frantically	trying	to	trick	death	again	.	the	plot	allows	for	some	of	the	most	creative	,	original	death	scenes	i	have	seen	in	a	while	.	some	scenes	build	up	the	perfect	amount	of	tension	until	an	elaborate	climax	,	others	are	so	unexpected	they	will	leave	your	jaw	wide	open	in	shock	.	creativity	and	originality	are	two	adjectives	lacking	in	most	horror	films	nowadays	but	final	destination	is	not	like	most	horror	films	.	sure	,	it	has	your	traditional	share	of	jerks	and	outsiders	(	ali	larter's	character	is	particularly	annoying	)	,	but	the	shocks	,	from	the	beginning	to	the	end	,	are	extremely	entertaining	.	also	director	wong	has	the	sense	not	to	take	the	movie	too	seriously	.	he	knows	its	just	another	entertaining	guilty	pleasure	that	won't	win	any	academy	awards	(	not	even	a	golden	globe	)	.	the	myriad	of	inside	jokes	and	gags	(	the	characters	are	named	after	famous	horror	directors	,	one	character	who	plays	a	jerk	is	named	carter	,	like	x	files	creator	chris	carter	,	and	a	song	by	john	denver	,	who	died	in	a	plane	crash	,	plays	whenever	death	is	near	)	show	this	movie	is	a	bunch	of	guys	having	a	good	time	making	a	movie	.	and	from	this	,	i	had	a	great	time	watching	the	movie	.
pos	release	date	:	december	11	,	1998	starring	:	ian	bannen	,	david	kelly	,	fionnula	flanagan	,	susan	lynch	,	james	nesbitt	,	james	ryland	,	eileen	dromey	,	jimmy	keogh	directed	by	:	kirk	jones	distributed	by	:	fox	searchlight	pictures	20th	century	fox	films	corp	.	mpaa	rating	:	pg	(	nudity	,	language	,	thematic	elements	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	waking	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	waking	.	htm	a	earlier	this	year	,	the	movie	holy	man	opened	to	a	meager	box	office	receipt	and	to	indifference	from	audiences	and	critics	.	a	real	charmer	of	a	movie	,	it's	possible	that	the	subject	matter	was	too	hip	or	trendy	to	attract	any	real	audience	.	now	,	at	the	end	of	1998	,	comes	waking	ned	devine	,	a	comedy	which	inspires	the	same	vein	of	easygoing	laughter	.	there's	no	substantial	difference	between	the	two	other	than	a	more	refined	atmosphere	they	strike	all	the	same	chords	but	still	,	ned	devine	is	a	movie	worth	seeing	.	the	plot	is	interesting	and	robust	:	the	latest	lottery	winner	is	ned	devine	(	jimmy	keogh	)	,	of	tullymore	,	ireland	.	ned's	prize	is	over	six	million	pounds	,	but	the	shock	of	winning	killed	the	poor	old	man	,	and	the	check	remains	unclaimed	.	enter	jackie	o'shea	(	ian	bannen	)	and	michael	o'sullivan	(	david	kelly	)	,	the	only	two	residents	who	are	aware	the	winner	is	in	their	village	.	the	two	men	eventually	find	the	ticket	,	and	decide	that	if	michael	can	convince	the	lotto	authorities	that	he's	actually	ned	,	the	entire	town	can	reap	the	benefits	;	their	only	adversary	is	an	ancient	old	woman	(	eileen	dromey	)	who	sees	more	profit	in	reporting	the	fraud	.	ian	bannen	and	david	kelly	truly	shine	as	jackie	and	michael	.	jackie	,	stocky	and	large	,	is	the	brains	behind	the	operation	;	michael	,	scrawny	and	short	,	is	the	method	man	.	the	two	contrast	each	other	delightfully	,	and	at	the	same	time	remain	sympathetic	to	the	audience	.	every	viewer	is	sure	to	like	both	of	them	.	there	are	other	minor	subplots	included	as	well	,	such	as	an	unlikely	romance	between	a	local	girl	and	the	town	pig	farmer	.	this	appears	quite	inconsequential	until	the	end	,	and	even	with	a	startling	revelation	it's	a	tad	bit	unnecessary	.	overall	,	waking	ned	devine	has	a	predictable	outcome	,	and	plot	twists	are	never	really	taken	seriously	.	the	ending	,	a	very	hilarious	and	very	ironic	twist	of	fate	,	somehow	fits	with	the	twisted	sense	of	humor	the	movie	exhibits	throughout	.	the	kirk	jones	script	is	indeed	off	the	cuff	.	in	a	way	,	waking	ned	devine	is	exactly	like	the	class	of	people	it	presents	:	warm	,	friendly	,	outgoing	,	and	jovial	.	it's	the	perfect	kind	of	comedy	,	a	real	gem	of	a	tale	that	sets	up	a	trivial	plot	outline	by	which	to	introduce	a	sympathetic	cast	of	characters	and	a	string	of	jokes	.	there's	nothing	remotely	serious	or	grounded	for	more	than	a	moment	or	two	,	because	the	spirit	of	ned	devine	is	a	lighthearted	one	.	indeed	,	it's	one	of	the	year's	best	feel	good	movies	91	minutes	of	unrestrained	joy	that	no	one	should	miss	.
pos	an	american	rhapsody	offers	us	an	example	of	teen	acting	gone	marvelously	right	.	as	a	15	year	old	who	wants	to	rediscover	her	hungarian	roots	,	scarlett	johansson	portrays	the	thrill	and	frustration	of	being	a	teenager	so	perfectly	that	i	don't	ever	want	her	to	grow	up	.	and	her	voice	,	with	its	cracked	rage	,	only	makes	her	desire	to	get	control	in	her	life	sound	more	convincing	.	when	johansson	(	ghost	world	)	is	on	screen	,	an	american	rhapsody	has	a	riveting	passion	and	dramatic	urgency	that	is	found	nowhere	else	in	the	movie	,	which	is	based	on	director	screenwriter's	va	grdos	life	.	johansson's	character	,	suzanne	,	is	left	behind	in	hungary	as	an	infant	when	her	family	stealthily	moves	to	america	circa	1950	.	six	years	later	,	the	young	suzanne	is	finally	brought	to	america	,	where	she	joins	her	parents	,	margit	and	peter	(	nastassja	kinski	and	tony	goldwyn	)	and	her	older	sister	(	mae	whitman	)	.	however	,	suzanne	is	torn	away	from	the	parents	(	zsuzsa	czinkczi	and	balzs	galk	)	of	a	family	friend	who	nurtured	and	protected	her	from	government	suspicion	.	suzanne	has	trouble	fitting	in	with	a	world	of	hula	hoops	and	hamburgers	,	running	away	several	times	.	at	15	,	she	is	still	fleeing	,	only	this	time	to	smoke	cigarettes	,	make	out	,	and	dabble	in	other	forms	of	teenage	rebellion	.	this	doesn't	sit	well	with	margit	,	who	soon	results	to	locking	suzanne	in	her	bedroom	.	when	suzanne	finds	a	shotgun	in	her	closet	and	starts	blasting	away	at	her	locked	bedroom	door	,	she	decides	that	a	trip	to	hungary	will	set	things	straight	.	until	johansson	appears	,	the	proceedings	dawdle	.	grdos	,	a	longtime	film	editor	,	spends	too	much	time	setting	up	the	movie's	powerful	final	stretch	.	a	fascinating	array	of	characters	gets	left	in	limbo	,	and	a	load	of	potential	powerhouse	dramatic	moments	get	ignored	.	margit	,	who	has	come	from	an	obviously	wealthy	upbringing	,	finds	herself	working	as	a	waitress	and	writing	letters	to	anyone	who	could	bring	suzanne	to	america	.	peter	,	who	dreams	of	running	a	publishing	house	in	america	,	ends	up	building	airplanes	.	grdos	doesn't	show	how	the	couple	reacted	to	such	a	sudden	social	shift	without	their	little	girl	.	there	had	to	be	nights	of	terse	bedroom	conversations	,	quiet	sobbing	and	reassurances	.	and	what	about	margit's	mother	(	gnes	bnfalvy	)	,	who	spends	time	in	prison	for	protecting	her	family	,	including	suzanne	?	late	in	the	movie	,	she	tells	suzanne	she	endured	the	time	behind	bars	by	thinking	of	fairy	tales	to	tell	her	grandchildren	.	with	a	more	experienced	director	(	this	is	gardos'	feature	film	directing	debut	)	,	the	possibilities	for	showing	the	grandmother's	distraction	could	have	been	fascinating	.	the	movie	works	best	when	johansson	is	onscreen	.	scenes	involving	the	six	year	old	suzanne	(	kelly	endresz	banlaki	)	are	also	wonderful	.	there's	not	an	ounce	of	stage	mother	gusto	in	her	performance	.	and	gardos	does	craft	some	nice	moments	in	her	film	where	the	pursuit	of	the	american	dream	tears	at	your	roots	.	a	scene	when	endresz	banlaki	calls	kinski	"	lady	"	as	she's	tucked	in	is	hard	to	forget	.	most	of	the	movie	,	unfortunately	,	lacks	emotional	power	.	america	is	a	nation	of	immigrants	we	all	know	stories	of	how	our	families	made	sacrifices	to	get	here	.	in	a	movie	about	immigrants'	pluck	and	grit	,	a	director	can't	just	focus	on	a	settling	story	.	we've	heard	that	before	.	he	or	she	must	take	pains	to	hit	on	a	human	level	.	gardos	sporadically	does	that	in	an	american	rhapsody	,	but	fortunately	there's	enough	evidence	here	to	support	she	will	be	more	accurate	in	the	future	.
pos	driving	miss	daisy	takes	its	sweet	time	to	tell	a	small	,	intimate	story	.	it's	a	quiet	film	,	a	slow	film	,	a	deliberate	film	.	but	if	you're	patient	with	it	,	the	movie	offers	innumerable	rewards	,	such	as	a	pair	of	self	assured	performances	by	morgan	freeman	and	jessica	tandy	.	driving	miss	daisy	is	based	on	alfred	uhry's	pulitzer	prize	winning	play	of	the	same	name	,	which	first	opened	in	new	york	four	years	ago	.	the	play	has	garnered	international	acclaim	with	productions	in	chicago	,	los	angeles	,	london	,	vienna	,	norway	,	and	the	soviet	union	.	uhry	himself	wrote	the	screenplay	for	the	film	adaptation	of	driving	miss	daisy	;	he	also	penned	the	wonderful	sleeper	,	mystic	pizza	.	the	film	,	like	the	play	,	is	set	in	atlanta	,	georgia	,	and	it	revolves	around	two	people	in	their	twilight	years	:	a	cranky	,	70	something	jewish	widow	who	feels	guilty	about	her	wealth	and	a	60	something	black	man	who	becomes	her	chauffeur	.	the	movie	relies	on	character	,	rather	than	plot	,	to	propel	the	action	.	in	fact	,	the	movie	has	no	discernible	plot	in	the	traditional	sense	;	it	doesn't	present	a	linear	story	in	which	all	the	scenes	flow	together	.	rather	,	driving	miss	daisy	is	made	up	of	the	routine	activities	of	everyday	life	:	shopping	,	listening	to	the	radio	,	visiting	the	cemetery	,	eating	fried	chicken	,	and	so	on	.	the	film	also	incorporates	into	the	story	line	actual	events	in	atlanta's	history	,	including	the	1958	bombing	of	the	temple	(	the	city's	oldest	jewish	congregation	)	and	a	1965	ceremony	honoring	the	reverend	dr	.	martin	luther	king	,	jr	.	the	story	begins	in	1948	with	daisy	(	tandy	)	crashing	and	wrecking	her	packard	as	she	pulls	out	of	her	driveway	.	the	insurance	company	cancels	her	insurance	,	and	her	son	,	boolie	,	decides	to	hire	her	a	chauffeur	.	freeman	,	reprising	his	role	from	the	play	,	plays	the	chauffeur	,	hoke	.	the	film	chronicles	the	warm	friendship	that	slowly	but	surely	blossoms	between	the	chauffeur	and	his	reluctant	passenger	.	driving	miss	daisy	is	a	movie	about	human	nature	,	aging	,	prejudice	,	and	a	great	many	other	things	,	but	more	than	anything	it's	about	a	relationship	:	one	that	spans	25	years	,	4	cars	,	the	advent	of	civil	rights	,	and	one	gravely	important	33	cent	can	of	salmon	.	daisy	is	strong	willed	and	set	in	her	ways	,	and	,	from	the	outset	,	she	is	utterly	opposed	to	the	idea	of	having	a	chauffeur	.	initially	,	she	treats	hoke	with	contempt	,	refusing	to	let	him	drive	her	anywhere	.	once	she	does	get	in	the	car	,	daisy	is	the	ultimate	back	seat	driver	.	to	make	matters	worse	,	she	is	extremely	self	conscious	about	what	others	might	think	if	they	were	to	see	her	being	escorted	around	town	by	a	hired	hand	.	eventually	,	however	,	daisy	is	worn	down	by	hoke's	good	natured	charm	and	infectious	cheer	;	she	softens	and	opens	up	to	him	.	tandy	plays	the	part	of	daisy	exceedingly	well	,	but	unfortunately	this	feisty	,	cantankerous	character	is	just	a	smidgen	too	commonplace	.	we've	seen	this	woman	countless	times	before	in	other	incarnations	,	from	on	golden	pond	to	cocoon	.	nevertheless	,	tandy	manages	to	put	enough	of	a	personal	stamp	on	the	familiar	character	to	make	it	her	own	.	freeman	,	as	hoke	,	on	the	other	hand	,	gives	the	more	distinctive	of	the	two	performances	.	there	is	something	profoundly	moving	about	the	way	hoke	maintains	his	pride	and	dignity	in	a	society	which	forbids	him	from	using	public	rest	rooms	because	of	his	skin	color	.	hoke	is	uneducated	and	illiterate	,	but	freeman	always	suggests	that	there	is	something	more	to	this	man	,	an	inner	strength	beneath	the	simpleton	exterior	.	both	freeman	and	tandy	seem	to	be	in	their	element	,	in	full	command	of	their	natural	charisma	.	they	flirt	with	the	camera	and	dominate	scenes	without	overtly	calling	attention	to	themselves	.	they	bring	a	light	touch	to	their	humorous	banter	and	to	the	movie's	gentle	humor	.	at	the	same	time	,	tandy	and	freeman	provide	more	than	a	few	moments	of	truly	poignant	drama	.	in	his	first	dramatic	role	,	dan	aykroyd	is	surprisingly	chubby	and	unexpectedly	effective	as	boolie	,	tandy's	loving	and	patient	son	.	drama	seems	to	agree	with	aykroyd	;	taking	a	break	from	comedy	seems	like	a	good	move	for	the	actor	,	especially	when	you	consider	the	wretched	comedies	he	has	made	recently	(	ghostbusters	ii	,	the	great	outdoors	,	my	stepmother	is	an	alien	)	.	the	only	other	significant	characters	in	the	film	are	daisy's	housekeeper	,	idella	,	marvelously	played	by	esther	rolle	(	"	good	times	"	)	,	and	boolie's	pretentious	wife	,	played	by	patti	lupone	.	under	the	direction	of	bruce	beresford	(	crimes	of	the	heart	,	tender	mercies	)	,	driving	miss	daisy	seems	a	bit	stagey	now	and	again	.	but	fortunately	,	beresford	never	forgets	he's	shooting	a	movie	,	and	accordingly	,	he	offers	plenty	of	striking	cinematic	touches	,	such	as	gorgeous	shots	of	flowers	,	trees	,	and	tomatoes	.	in	adapting	driving	miss	daisy	from	the	stage	to	the	screen	,	the	filmmakers	have	achieved	a	delicate	subtlety	.	uhry	understands	that	what	his	characters	do	not	say	can	be	just	as	important	as	what	they	do	say	.	beresford	wisely	exercises	restraint	in	the	film's	dramatic	moments	.	the	movie	tugs	at	your	heart	,	but	it	never	goes	for	the	jugular	.	the	only	sap	in	driving	miss	daisy	is	in	the	trees	.
pos	screenplay	by	joe	eszterhas	.	based	on	a	novel	by	ira	levin	.	directed	by	philip	noyce	.	starring	sharon	stone	,	william	baldwin	,	tom	berenger	,	martin	landau	.	unrated	version	(	contains	nudity	,	violence	,	and	profanity	)	108	mins	.	synopsis	:	carly	,	a	divorced	,	unhappy	,	35	year	old	book	editor	who	must	work	with	intensely	annoying	,	sex	starved	judy	,	moves	into	a	dream	apartment	where	she	meets	an	elderly	,	lonely	professor	and	a	has	been	novelist	who	likes	to	scare	jogging	women	in	central	park	.	carly	then	begins	an	affair	with	a	young	technogeek	while	a	bunch	of	people	are	murdered	in	the	apartment	building	and	someone	watches	it	all	with	video	cameras	.	comments	:	three	stars	may	be	giving	sliver	a	little	more	credit	than	it	deserves	.	it's	a	big	budget	turkey	slammed	by	many	critics	when	it	was	first	released	,	i	won't	deny	.	despite	its	many	faults	,	however	,	sliver	does	warrant	a	second	look	.	how	do	i	come	to	that	conclusion	?	though	it	is	sometimes	compared	to	rear	window	(	and	i	do	see	the	resemblance	)	,	sliver's	plot	still	strikes	me	as	unique	.	in	fact	,	the	interesting	plot	makes	one	want	the	movie	to	be	better	than	it	really	is	.	i	have	never	read	a	novel	by	ira	levin	(	who	wrote	the	book	from	which	this	film	is	based	)	,	but	levin's	work	has	provided	the	basis	for	a	number	of	classic	science	fiction	and	horror	movies	over	the	years	,	most	notably	rosemary's	baby	and	the	stepford	wives	and	its	inevitable	sequels	.	sliver	deals	with	a	dark	subject	,	voyeurism	,	and	the	chilling	possibilities	open	to	a	voyeur	with	developing	technologies	.	allow	me	to	suggest	,	for	a	moment	,	something	which	i	rarely	see	suggested	about	sliver	.	yes	,	it	is	obviously	an	erotic	thriller	(	sharon	stone	strips	naked	frequently	and	makes	out	with	william	baldwin	while	a	murderer	runs	around	cancelling	out	his	victims	)	,	but	it	is	also	a	science	fiction	film	.	good	science	fiction	often	takes	a	part	(	a	sliver	,	if	you'll	accept	a	bad	pun	)	of	modern	day	society	and	exaggerates	it	.	in	sliver	,	the	apartment's	owner	secretly	installs	video	cameras	in	every	room	of	the	building	for	the	express	purpose	of	spying	on	his	tenants	.	sitting	in	an	enclosed	room	,	he	watches	over	these	people	as	if	he	were	god	.	two	walls	of	television	sets	,	a	giant	tv	in	the	center	,	a	computer	console	,	and	a	remote	control	make	up	the	majority	of	his	equipment	,	which	apparently	set	him	back	6	million	dollars	.	he	can	zoom	in	and	out	on	everyone	,	and	record	anything	which	goes	on	.	this	massive	invasion	of	privacy	is	frightening	when	thought	about	(	imagine	every	moment	in	every	day	of	your	life	being	secretly	filmed	)	,	and	it	is	here	where	a	major	motif	of	science	fiction	resides	:	the	dangers	of	emerging	technologies	put	to	unethical	use	.	the	novelty	of	the	storyline	,	however	,	does	not	excuse	joe	eszterhas's	weak	screenplay	.	sliver	is	riddled	with	poor	dialogue	.	granted	,	poor	dialogue	can	sometimes	be	unintentionally	funny	,	but	in	sliver's	case	,	eszterhas	tries	to	be	clever	and	funny	intentionally	.	the	lines	,	therefore	,	only	end	up	receiving	groans	from	the	audience	.	carly	and	another	tenant	discuss	moving	in	an	early	scene	,	for	example	,	and	the	tenant	says	moving	is	"	worse	than	anal	intercourse	.	"	they	share	a	chuckle	.	the	audience	doesn't	.	or	,	how	about	this	for	awful	?	judy	,	the	most	annoying	coworker	to	ever	stumble	into	a	movie	(	get	down	on	your	knees	and	pray	you	never	have	to	work	with	someone	like	judy	)	,	suggests	"	pearl	jam	is	some	sort	of	oriental	sex	thing	.	"	ugh	!	another	criticism	of	sliver	is	that	it	moves	too	slowly	during	the	first	half	.	to	be	honest	,	i'm	not	sure	if	the	screenwriter	or	the	director	is	at	fault	,	or	if	the	reason	lies	in	the	fact	that	i'm	reviewing	the	unrated	version	over	the	r	rated	theatrical	version	(	from	my	estimate	,	though	,	only	about	a	minute	was	added	to	the	unrated	version	)	.	carly's	introductions	to	the	main	characters	feel	contrived	,	and	her	"	steamy	"	scenes	both	with	zeke	hawkins	(	baldwin	)	and	without	are	drawn	out	much	longer	than	they	need	to	be	.	for	an	erotic	thriller	,	sliver	possesses	a	very	talented	and	experienced	cast	of	actors	.	sharon	stone	.	.	.	well	,	she's	sharon	stone	,	and	she	delivers	what	you'd	expect	to	see	after	her	career	making	performance	in	basic	instinct	.	william	baldwin	looks	like	a	geeky	freak	,	which	is	good	considering	the	sleazy	character	he	plays	,	and	he	turns	in	a	goofy	but	enjoyable	performance	.	veteran	actors	tom	berenger	and	martin	landau	seem	to	make	the	best	out	of	their	characters	(	they	really	aren't	offered	much	thanks	to	the	script	)	.	i	cannot	conclude	this	review	without	mentioning	the	music	.	i	don't	normally	have	much	to	say	about	a	film's	score	or	songs	,	but	sliver	effectively	uses	a	number	of	dance	standards	during	several	key	sequences	.	most	notably	,	enigma's	"	carly's	loneliness	"	and	ub40's	"	can't	help	falling	in	love	"	appear	a	number	of	times	and	serve	as	fitting	themes	for	carly	and	zeke	respectively	.	sliver	certainly	has	its	faults	:	a	slow	first	half	,	bad	dialogue	,	and	,	at	times	,	annoying	characters	(	judy	,	for	instance	)	.	however	,	a	strong	concept	,	a	mostly	solid	cast	,	and	some	well	chosen	music	almost	saves	it	from	being	a	turkey	and	at	least	makes	the	film	watchable	.	the	r	rated	version	may	flow	a	little	quicker	than	the	unrated	version	reviewed	here	(	i	saw	the	r	rated	version	in	the	theater	when	it	first	came	out	,	so	it's	been	way	too	long	for	me	to	confidently	compare	the	two	)	.	sliver	also	has	one	of	the	more	memorable	endings	to	a	thriller	that	i've	ever	seen	,	which	is	a	definate	plus	because	i	usually	find	the	conclusions	to	thrillers	cliched	and	disappointing	.	some	people	i	know	who	have	seen	this	turkey	hate	it	,	but	i	really	don't	think	it's	all	that	bad	.	i'd	give	it	a	passing	recommendation	,	but	keep	in	mind	that	it's	certainly	not	family	viewing	.
pos	rating	:	1	2	out	of	8	.	0	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	john	turturro	(	herbie	stempel	)	,	rob	morrow	(	dick	goodwin	)	,	ralph	fiennes	(	charles	van	doren	)	,	paul	scofield	(	mark	van	doren	)	,	david	paymer	(	dan	enright	)	,	hank	azaria	(	albert	freedman	)	director	:	robert	redford	certification	:	pg	13	(	usa	)	for	language	year	of	production	:	1994	academy	award	nominations	:	best	picture	,	best	director	(	redford	)	,	best	supporting	actor	(	scofield	)	,	best	adapted	screenplay	(	paul	attanasio	)	quiz	show	,	an	almost	perfectly	accurate	true	story	,	is	based	upon	the	events	of	the	popular	television	show	of	the	mid	50's	,	"	twenty	one	"	.	on	this	trivial	game	show	,	contestants	were	placed	in	isolation	booths	and	then	answered	questions	corresponding	to	a	category	of	their	choice	,	on	which	they	wagered	an	amount	of	points	on	.	the	game	went	on	until	a	player	reached	twenty	one	points	on	felt	they	had	earned	enough	points	to	win	.	but	,	after	ratings	began	to	fall	when	players	were	struggling	to	break	the	zero	mark	,	the	producers	decided	to	fix	the	game	by	giving	the	answers	to	a	contestant	before	the	game	began	.	quiz	show	illustrates	the	true	stories	of	two	particular	contestants	,	herbie	stempel	and	charles	van	doren	.	stempel	(	john	turturro	)	,	a	former	g	.	i	.	and	your	jewish	man	raising	a	family	.	stempel	has	been	the	reigning	champion	on	"	twenty	one	"	for	many	weeks	and	has	accumulated	thousands	of	dollars	.	in	his	mind	,	he	is	the	best	thing	on	television	and	the	people	love	him	.	although	,	in	the	mind	of	the	show's	producers	,	herbie	stempel	is	getting	old	.	dan	enright	(	david	paymer	)	,	in	particular	,	feels	that	the	people	are	tired	of	seeing	a	"	jewish	guy	from	queens	with	bad	teeth	"	and	that	the	kids	need	someone	better	to	look	up	to	.	therefore	,	they	need	to	find	another	contestant	whom	would	be	a	worthy	role	model	and	the	people	will	look	up	to	and	cheer	to	win	.	someone	who	can	defeat	stempel	,	even	if	they	have	to	resort	to	cheating	.	enter	charles	van	doren	(	ralph	fiennes	)	,	a	well	educated	professor	from	a	widely	recognized	family	.	van	doren	had	decided	to	try	out	for	the	game	show	"	tic	tac	dough	"	because	his	friends	thought	he	would	be	good	at	that	sort	of	thing	.	but	when	albert	freedman	(	hank	azaria	)	,	enright's	assistant	,	spots	van	doren	,	the	two	decide	that	they	have	found	their	soon	to	be	ruler	of	the	"	twenty	one	"	kingdom	.	van	doren	is	not	too	keen	on	the	idea	of	receiving	the	answers	ahead	of	time	,	so	enright	tells	stempel	that	he	is	going	to	give	the	wrong	answer	,	on	purpose	,	in	order	to	lose	the	game	.	after	stempel	loses	the	"	throne	"	to	van	doren	,	he	starts	to	feel	cheated	(	which	he	should	)	.	meanwhile	,	on	his	own	,	dick	goodwin	(	rob	morrow	)	,	a	harvard	law	graduate	,	has	decided	to	start	an	investigation	on	"	twenty	one	"	to	try	and	find	out	if	there	have	been	any	wrongdoings	.	his	investigation	yields	shocking	results	and	leads	to	a	trial	for	enright	and	the	others	involved	.	quiz	show	is	an	extremely	well	done	movie	,	and	robert	redford's	direction	is	especially	superb	.	the	performances	turned	in	by	john	turturro	,	ralph	fiennes	,	and	rob	morrow	are	very	good	,	although	it	seems	that	turturro	stands	out	more	than	any	.	quiz	show	is	also	very	precise	when	it	comes	to	explicating	the	true	events	that	inspired	the	film	.	definitely	a	film	you	should	not	miss	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	my	first	thought	was	,	"	oh	god	,	another	one	of	those	pretentious	foreign	art	house	sex	films	.	"	the	opening	shot	features	one	of	those	busy	parisian	streets	,	the	locals	hustling	by	in	a	blur	of	slow	motion	.	this	city	tells	a	thousand	stories	,	my	friends	,	and	an	affair	of	love	is	one	of	them	.	as	if	to	add	insult	to	injury	,	our	first	actual	scenes	are	of	the	woman	(	nathalie	baye	,	day	for	night	)	and	man	(	sergi	lpez	)	after	the	affair	,	being	interviewed	by	some	off	screen	voice	.	it's	very	when	harry	met	sally	,	only	with	the	added	layer	of	being	french	lovers	talking	about	their	passionate	encounters	.	hoo	boy	,	this	is	gonna	be	a	long	road	,	isn't	it	?	we	learn	that	the	woman	placed	an	ad	in	a	magazine	.	of	all	the	potential	candidates	,	this	man	seemed	the	most	interesting	.	he's	handsome	in	a	boyish	sort	of	way	,	seemingly	affable	if	slightly	dorky	.	she's	a	little	older	than	he	is	,	more	world	wise	,	more	open	to	experience	and	experiment	.	they	don't	tell	each	other	their	names	,	ages	,	professions	,	where	they	live	.	it	was	meant	to	be	nothing	personal	.	after	the	round	of	interview	footage	,	affair	goes	back	in	time	to	their	first	encounter	at	a	cafe	.	she's	already	booked	a	room	.	through	a	series	of	nervous	false	starts	,	they	make	it	through	a	halting	conversation	.	at	the	hotel	,	it	seems	an	eternity	for	the	desk	clerk	to	ring	up	the	man's	credit	card	,	then	they	take	the	long	walk	up	the	stairs	and	down	the	hallway	,	through	the	bright	red	door	.	it	suddenly	dawned	on	me	that	perhaps	half	an	hour	had	gone	by	in	the	blink	of	an	eye	.	i	was	utterly	enthralled	by	every	small	nuance	of	this	encounter	,	every	beat	of	silence	.	nathalie	baye's	face	is	lined	with	age	.	perhaps	she's	in	her	mid	40s	,	but	very	fit	for	a	woman	who	might	have	mothered	children	.	her	eyes	flicker	and	dance	,	but	she's	not	the	type	to	give	much	away	.	bright	,	courteous	,	sexually	open	she's	interesting	even	though	we	know	very	little	about	her	.	all	we	can	tell	,	as	the	man	freely	admits	,	is	that	she's	a	real	woman	.	in	today's	age	where	attractive	girls	are	all	models	and	pin	ups	,	this	film	finds	beauty	in	the	normal	lady	walking	down	the	street	.	sergi	lpez	makes	for	a	nice	foil	.	he's	a	little	tubby	and	hairy	,	but	he	doesn't	take	himself	too	seriously	.	he	has	friendly	,	soft	eyes	,	and	a	mouth	which	is	quick	to	smile	.	at	the	first	meeting	,	he's	perhaps	a	little	more	nervous	than	she	.	he	does	order	a	cognac	to	brace	himself	.	their	first	sexual	encounter	,	which	is	built	up	to	so	vividly	,	remains	behind	closed	doors	.	maybe	that's	as	it	should	be	.	for	a	film	about	sex	,	there	isn't	very	much	of	it	shown	during	the	film	.	in	a	way	,	this	makes	it	all	the	sweeter	as	we	watch	them	during	their	second	meeting	at	the	cafe	.	once	more	we	don't	see	their	amour	.	after	the	hotel	,	that	second	time	,	the	man	works	up	the	courage	to	ask	her	to	dinner	later	that	night	.	on	they	go	,	never	learning	where	the	other	lives	.	they	keep	much	as	a	mystery	from	each	other	,	but	reveal	enough	to	keep	us	interested	.	maybe	that's	the	nature	of	affairs	,	especially	sexual	ones	.	the	secrets	.	the	film	runs	a	little	over	ninety	minutes	.	it's	never	dull	.	i	could	have	done	without	the	frequent	voice	overs	,	which	run	over	scenes	where	i	might	have	preferred	to	hear	the	naturalistic	dialogue	between	the	lovers	.	i'm	also	no	big	fan	of	self	conscious	"	interview	"	footage	,	which	only	served	to	make	me	wonder	how	the	documentarian	tracked	them	down	.	these	faults	,	while	glaring	,	are	forgiven	because	the	rest	of	the	film	feels	so	alluring	,	so	sexy	and	smart	.	they	meet	,	they	talk	,	they	make	love	and	,	slowly	,	grow	closer	.	there	are	many	scenes	where	they	talk	frankly	about	sex	.	as	for	the	actual	onscreen	lovemaking	,	it	is	kept	to	a	minimum	,	but	there's	a	startling	scene	midway	which	has	them	in	bed	slowly	working	their	way	toward	orgasm	.	this	is	not	the	sex	of	hollywood	gloss	,	or	even	of	art	house	decadence	,	or	even	of	pornography	.	sex	in	american	films	is	either	a	marathon	,	a	farce	,	a	music	video	,	or	a	tragedy	.	an	affair	of	love	is	all	of	the	above	,	only	less	self	important	.	it's	insubstantial	,	but	that's	pretty	much	the	point	.	they	only	had	what	they	had	and	the	rest	is	in	their	memories	.	so	it	is	for	the	viewer	,	too	.	maybe	it's	only	worth	a	rental	,	but	that's	more	than	what	you'd	expect	walking	in	.
pos	jamaica	is	a	hot	vacation	spot	.	the	exchange	rate	encourages	delusions	of	wealth	(	approximately	30	jamaican	dollars	to	one	american	)	,	the	sea	is	a	brilliant	blue	,	the	air	is	warm	but	lacks	humidity	.	and	as	tourism	is	unfortunately	jamaica's	biggest	trade	,	foreigners	enter	and	leave	with	a	sense	of	relaxation	.	life	and	debt	takes	a	brassy	look	at	life	inside	this	impoverished	country	.	while	normal	documentaries	take	the	sally	struthers	approach	of	underlying	scenes	of	starving	children	with	tearful	music	,	this	film	guides	the	viewer	with	a	sarcastic	voiceover	that	brings	the	troubles	home	without	begging	tears	to	the	surface	.	the	voiceover	is	written	by	acclaimed	author	jamaica	kincaid	.	it	guides	the	audience	along	a	tourist's	journey	and	the	story	of	the	native	inhabitants	.	instead	of	telling	you	what	you	are	already	seeing	on	screen	,	it	quips	,	"	you	don't	see	what	happens	after	you	flush	the	toilet	.	"	this	engages	a	viewer	to	see	and	think	about	devastation	instead	of	merely	being	told	it	is	there	.	this	strong	,	sparse	storytelling	approach	runs	throughout	the	film	.	stephanie	black	is	also	intelligent	in	how	she	chooses	to	disclose	the	problems	faced	by	the	locals	.	this	isn't	just	another	talking	head	show	of	people	moaning	about	their	horrible	lot	in	life	.	people	are	interviewed	from	all	sectors	of	occupation	,	from	field	to	factory	,	as	well	as	social	theorists	and	the	banking	organizations	that	continue	to	invest	in	the	country	.	the	variety	of	discussion	perpetuates	a	compelling	internal	dialogue	with	any	viewer	,	whether	they	are	seeing	jamaica	for	the	first	time	or	not	.	of	course	,	as	can	be	expected	,	the	united	states	is	slammed	,	owing	to	its	involvement	with	the	international	monetary	fund	and	the	world	bank	.	officials	look	moronic	as	they	explain	why	their	plans	for	jamaica's	economy	will	help	the	country	back	on	its	feet	,	but	only	if	they	are	willing	to	follow	the	advice	word	for	word	.	the	next	moment	we	see	why	and	how	each	of	these	initiatives	has	failed	,	usually	due	to	imports	being	cheaper	than	local	labor	or	whether	or	not	the	soil	is	appropriate	for	the	next	agricultural	trend	the	u	.	s	.	is	forcing	on	the	citizens	.	admittedly	,	some	of	the	back	and	forth	between	the	business	minded	organizations	and	the	failures	they	produce	gets	repetitive	,	but	it	also	drives	home	the	impact	ignorance	can	have	on	both	sides	of	an	international	argument	.	but	jamaica	isn't	against	the	united	states	,	and	this	documentary	does	not	accuse	the	u	.	s	.	of	being	the	sole	perpetrator	of	its	grief	.	if	anything	,	it	begs	for	a	better	understanding	of	the	nature	of	jamaican	society	before	stepping	in	to	change	it	based	on	foreign	regulations	.
pos	starring	david	arquette	,	neve	campbell	,	courtney	cox	,	drew	barrymore	,	skeet	ulrich	,	jamie	kennedy	,	rose	mcgowan	,	matthew	lillard	,	w	.	earl	brown	,	henry	winkler	,	live	schreiber	,	and	linda	blair	.	when	i	first	heard	about	scream	in	1996	,	i	was	told	that	it	was	a	spoof	of	horror	movies	.	from	the	master	of	the	horror	himself	,	wes	craven	,	it	ridiculed	the	cliches	of	the	genre	by	overemphasizing	them	,	by	making	the	teenagers	do	what	they	know	they're	not	supposed	to	do	when	a	serial	killer	is	stalking	them	(	don't	run	up	the	stairs	when	you	can	easily	go	out	the	front	door	,	never	say	"	i'll	be	right	back	,	"	etc	.	)	.	when	i	first	heard	this	description	,	i	figured	that	it	was	an	easy	way	out	of	making	a	bad	movie	.	how	hard	is	it	to	make	an	extremely	terrible	film	but	claim	it	is	actually	a	mockery	of	other	bad	movies	.	was	this	wes	craven's	remedy	from	making	"	real	"	bad	movies	such	as	vampires	in	brooklyn	?	it	just	seemed	cheap	to	me	.	then	i	actually	saw	the	movie	and	the	first	twenty	minutes	,	involving	drew	barrymore	and	a	nail	bitingly	intense	phone	conversation	,	completely	changed	my	attitude	.	scream	is	not	only	a	clever	parody	of	your	standard	horror	flick	,	it's	also	a	pretty	scary	movie	.	if	you've	seen	a	million	of	these	kinds	of	films	,	you	know	exactly	what	is	going	to	happen	.	this	is	part	of	the	fun	of	watching	scream	.	the	movie	reminds	avid	horror	fans	how	similar	and	repetitive	the	genre	is	and	it	also	reminds	them	how	great	a	guilty	pleasure	it	can	be	to	watch	pointless	and	predictable	violence	to	innocent	,	attractive	teenagers	.	to	those	who	rarely	see	these	types	of	movies	,	scream	is	a	thrilling	unpredictable	ride	that	could	be	mistaken	as	a	serious	slasher	film	.	there's	nothing	wrong	with	that	misjudgment	though	.	i	have	witnessed	viewers	from	both	sides	of	the	audience	,	the	newbies	to	horror	and	the	fanatics	.	their	opinions	on	the	film	were	so	different	but	both	very	positive	.	from	these	varied	reviews	,	i	am	convinced	that	scream	has	not	only	revived	the	teen	horror	movie	and	the	normal	teen	romance	movies	but	also	the	hilarious	parodies	of	these	and	other	categories	.	films	that	both	deride	and	celebrate	genres	like	galaxy	quest	and	the	big	hit	would	not	have	existed	,	in	my	opinion	,	if	it	was	not	for	the	outstanding	success	of	scream	.	the	low	budget	1996	gem	may	,	alongside	pulp	fiction	,	be	the	most	influential	film	of	the	1990's	.	this	influence	may	exist	to	the	chagrin	of	some	moviegoers	who	despise	movies	like	teaching	mrs	.	tingle	or	television	programs	such	as	dawson's	creek	but	to	others	such	as	myself	,	we	congratulate	the	movie	that	has	opened	new	doors	for	excellent	young	actors	,	screenwriters	,	and	directors	.	scream	is	also	an	extremely	funny	movie	thanks	to	its	quickly	paced	script	by	kevin	williamson	.	within	the	film	are	characters	who	tell	other	characters	,	as	well	as	the	audience	,	the	basic	rules	and	cliches	of	a	horror	movie	.	mainly	from	the	rants	of	randy	(	jamie	kennedy	)	and	stu	(	matthew	lillard	)	,	we	are	reminded	not	only	of	the	obvious	and	hilarious	rules	but	also	some	of	the	more	subtle	stereotypes	that	when	thought	over	are	mostly	true	as	well	(	the	virgin	always	survives	;	have	sex	and	you're	dead	meat	)	.	not	only	are	we	treated	these	rules	on	a	plate	but	also	the	rules	are	referenced	to	a	number	of	different	films	and	actors	.	the	script	feels	like	an	obsessive	essay	from	a	college	film	geek	who	has	nothing	better	to	do	but	find	every	little	blunder	from	every	little	film	for	his	own	self	satisfaction	.	in	this	case	,	williamson	finds	these	errors	for	the	audience's	satisfaction	and	amusement	.	i	hear	there	is	a	new	movie	coming	out	called	scary	movie	which	is	a	spoof	of	scream	,	which	is	a	spoof	of	scary	movies	.	i	will	certainly	see	the	film	but	i	have	the	feeling	that	this	parody	will	be	more	obviously	ridiculing	the	genre	rather	than	scream's	perfect	subtlety	.	however	my	last	gut	feeling	about	this	stuff	,	scream	,	was	dead	wrong	.	.	.	so	who	knows	.
pos	cast	:	eileen	brennan	,	tim	curry	,	madeline	kahn	,	christopher	lloyd	,	michael	mckean	,	martin	mull	,	lesley	ann	warren	,	colleen	camp	,	lee	ving	,	bill	henderson	,	howard	hesseman	written	by	:	john	landis	and	jonathan	lynn	directed	by	:	jonathan	lynn	running	time	:	96	minutes	clue	is	an	unfairly	ignored	comedy	,	very	similar	to	1976's	murder	by	death	.	this	big	screen	version	of	the	classic	board	game	(	what's	next	.	.	.	chutes	and	ladders	:	the	motion	picture	?	)	is	filled	with	slapstick	antics	and	silly	dialogue	.	the	plot	,	for	what	it's	worth	,	has	all	the	characters	from	the	game	(	in	this	case	,	the	names	from	the	game	are	used	as	aliases	)	meeting	in	an	isolated	mansion	to	confront	mr	.	boddy	(	lee	ving	)	,	the	man	who's	been	blackmailing	them	all	.	when	he	turns	up	dead	,	everyone	(	including	the	audience	)	must	figure	out	whodunnit	.	.	.	and	in	what	room	,	and	with	what	object	.	while	not	as	witty	as	neil	simon's	murder	by	death	,	clue	definitely	has	it	moments	.	it	has	so	many	moments	in	fact	that	i	use	a	lot	of	the	lines	from	the	film	when	i'm	joking	around	with	my	friends	.	to	this	day	,	whenever	someone	says	the	phrase	"	well	,	to	make	a	long	story	short	"	i	have	the	follow	up	phrase	"	too	late	"	ready	to	go	.	the	cast	(	all	very	good	comedic	talents	)	play	well	off	one	another	,	while	the	late	madeline	kahn	(	as	the	dark	and	sultry	mrs	.	white	)	sometimes	steals	the	film	away	from	the	rest	.	and	colleen	camp	,	as	the	french	maid	yvette	,	displays	some	of	her	natural	talents	as	well	.	clue	is	available	on	dvd	from	paramount	home	video	.	it	includes	the	film	in	its	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	85	:	1	(	and	is	enhanced	for	16x9	televisions	)	and	features	the	original	theatrical	trailer	.	a	french	language	audio	track	is	also	available	.	the	trailer	holds	up	well	considering	most	previews	from	that	time	do	not	,	and	it	even	includes	a	scene	not	in	the	film	itself	(	a	scene	that	should	have	been	in	the	film	,	as	it's	a	good	joke	)	.	also	,	the	trailer	is	scored	to	the	music	from	airplane	!	,	which	was	an	interesting	choice	.	when	clue	played	in	theaters	,	it	ran	with	the	gimmick	of	three	different	endings	.	if	you	wanted	to	see	all	three	,	you	had	to	go	to	the	movies	three	separate	times	.	so	when	the	film	was	released	on	home	video	,	rather	than	releasing	three	separate	videos	,	all	three	endings	were	included	on	one	tape	.	.	.	the	first	two	endings	being	"	what	if	?	"	endings	and	the	third	ending	being	the	actual	ending	.	now	for	the	dvd	release	you	get	two	choices	.	you	can	watch	the	film	as	it	was	presented	on	home	video	or	you	can	select	to	watch	it	with	one	of	the	three	endings	randomly	chosen	for	you	.	(	note	:	there's	an	easter	egg	hidden	in	the	disc	pertaining	to	this	.	after	watching	the	film	with	a	randomly	selected	ending	,	when	you	return	to	the	menu	screen	you	will	be	able	to	highlight	the	large	magnifying	glass	and	select	it	.	when	you	do	,	a	secret	menu	opens	,	allowing	you	to	watch	any	of	the	three	endings	by	themselves	.	)	now	while	i	applaud	the	effort	of	paramount	here	,	as	they	clearly	tried	to	do	something	special	with	the	disc	,	it	just	doesn't	work	well	.	first	,	why	not	give	the	viewer	the	choice	of	what	ending	we	want	to	watch	?	maybe	someone	like	myself	who's	seen	the	movie	hundreds	of	times	would	like	to	sit	down	and	show	it	to	someone	with	the	second	ending	only	.	i'm	no	technical	dvd	expert	,	but	i	can't	imagine	that	being	too	hard	to	accomplish	.	secondly	,	the	delay	between	when	the	film	itself	ends	and	one	of	the	endings	begins	is	too	long	and	too	obvious	,	thereby	becoming	a	distraction	right	when	you	definitely	don't	need	a	distraction	.	finally	,	the	back	of	the	dvd	case	states	"	and	now	,	with	this	special	dvd	version	,	you	can	see	all	3	surprise	endings	"	.	i	have	no	idea	why	they	would	word	it	that	way	,	since	that's	not	a	special	feature	in	the	slightest	.	the	video	has	been	out	for	fifteen	years	now	(	good	lord	,	has	it	been	that	long	?	)	and	it's	played	on	television	with	all	three	endings	all	the	time	.	these	are	merely	minor	complaints	however	,	seeing	that	i've	watched	the	home	video	version	hundreds	of	times	and	have	no	problem	watching	the	film	as	such	on	the	dvd	.	the	picture	and	sound	are	wonderfully	improved	over	my	worn	out	vhs	copy	,	and	i'm	thrilled	that	paramount	agrees	with	me	that	clue	is	a	film	worthy	of	being	preserved	on	this	great	digital	format	.	pg	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	to	begin	with	,	i	certainly	felt	out	of	place	sitting	in	the	audience	at	the	wood	,	a	movie	that	not	only	is	good	,	but	will	pleasantly	surprise	you	.	not	only	is	there	not	one	caucasian	cast	member	,	(	not	even	in	a	cameo	)	i	was	also	part	of	the	minority	of	the	five	white	people	sitting	in	my	auditorium	.	slim	,	(	richard	t	.	jones	)	roland	,	(	taye	diggs	)	and	mike	(	omar	epps	)	are	all	gathered	at	a	wedding	that	roland	is	supposed	to	be	at	.	he's	at	an	old	girlfriend's	house	,	drunk	as	ever	,	having	second	thoughts	about	giving	up	his	old	wild	lifestyle	to	settle	down	with	one	woman	.	this	begins	a	whole	set	of	flashbacks	that	are	intervened	nicely	from	the	80s	to	present	day	.	while	it's	not	quite	plausible	how	the	flashbacks	begin	,	it's	a	cute	way	to	make	a	movie	,	and	they	pull	it	to	it's	fullest	extent	.	young	mike	(	nelson	,	who	steals	the	show	)	has	just	moved	from	north	carolina	and	has	his	eyes	set	on	alicia	(	malinda	williams	)	while	his	buddies	try	to	rack	up	telephone	numbers	.	despite	the	fact	that	alicia's	brother	(	de'aundre	bonds	)	is	an	abusive	gang	member	.	amazingly	,	it	manages	to	do	this	without	too	many	racial	stereotypes	.	another	nice	thing	about	the	wood	is	that	you	feel	like	your	a	part	of	the	movie	.	in	beginning	sequences	mike	talks	right	into	the	camera	and	acknowledges	that	we	are	there	,	watching	everything	that's	happening	to	the	characters	.	while	this	isn't	anything	original	or	inventive	,	it	does	add	a	nice	touch	.	it	also	has	several	gags	that	seem	taken	right	out	of	a	toned	down	american	pie	,	so	for	that	,	and	the	fact	that	i	was	taken	aback	by	how	good	it	was	.	the	wood	earns	my	stars	.
pos	de	bijbel	is	ontzettend	populair	en	een	inspiratiebron	voor	veel	mensen	.	vooral	de	mysterieuze	en	paranormale	aspecten	van	dit	boek	interesseren	veel	mensen	.	daarom	maken	ook	veel	schrijvers	gretig	gebruik	van	dit	boek	,	zoals	te	zien	is	in	"	the	devil's	advocate	"	,	the	excorcist	en	"	seven	"	.	nu	is	er	ook	"	fallen	"	,	een	horrorfilm	waarin	het	kwaad	vele	vormen	aanneemt	.	en	dan	bedoel	ik	ook	vle	vormen	.	het	is	john	hobbes	(	denzel	washington	)	samen	met	z'n	maat	jonesy	(	john	goodman	)	eindelijk	gelukt	om	edgar	reese	(	elias	koteas	)	achter	de	tralies	te	krijgen	.	reese	,	een	gestoorde	seriemoordenaar	,	wordt	zo	snel	mogelijk	in	de	gaskamer	gezet	om	voor	z'n	daden	te	boeten	.	in	de	laatste	minuten	van	z'n	leven	prevelt	hij	opeens	vreemde	zinnen	in	oud	aramees	.	en	dat	is	onmogelijk	,	want	die	taal	is	al	duizenden	jaren	oud	en	wordt	nu	alleen	maar	door	een	paar	primitieve	stammen	gebruikt	.	nadat	reese	gestorven	is	,	wilt	hobbes	de	draad	van	z'n	leven	weer	oppakken	.	helaas	imiteert	iemand	de	stijl	van	reese	en	er	vallen	dus	weer	veel	doden	.	het	valt	hobbes	op	dat	de	dader	zinnen	op	de	muur	schrijft	die	alleen	begrijpelijk	zijn	voor	hobbes	.	later	komt	hij	erachter	dat	het	geen	'copycat'	is	,	maar	reese	zelf	,	die	steeds	andere	gedaanten	aanneemt	om	zo	ongemerkt	te	ontsnappen	.	hobbes	gaat	op	onderzoek	uit	en	roept	de	hulp	in	van	gretta	milano	,	de	dochter	van	lou	milano	.	lou	milano	was	een	politie	agent	die	met	dezelfde	dingen	te	kampen	had	en	al	snel	daarna	zelfmoord	pleegde	.	gretta	milano	,	een	gelovige	,	legt	aan	hem	uit	dat	er	een	gevallen	engel	aan	het	werk	is	.	deze	engel	is	azazel	,	die	wraak	wilt	nemen	op	hobbes	en	daarom	hem	,	z'n	vrienden	en	z'n	familieleden	teistert	.	hobbes	is	hier	niet	blij	mee	en	gaat	op	jacht	.	dit	wordt	nog	erg	moeilijk	voor	hem	,	want	door	aanraking	kan	azazel	van	gastlichaam	verwisselen	.	"	fallen	"	ziet	er	visueel	gezien	prachtig	uit	en	regisseur	gregory	hoblit	maakt	,	net	als	david	fincher	bij	"	seven	"	,	veel	gebruik	van	regen	en	donkere	beelden	om	de	film	een	realistisch	tintje	te	geven	.	helaas	is	het	verhaal	,	hoe	boeiend	het	ook	mag	zijn	,	nogal	ongeloofwaardig	uitgewerkt	en	er	zitten	ook	een	paar	gaten	in	.	maar	goed	,	dat	mag	de	pret	niet	drukken	.	denzel	washington	draagt	een	steentje	bij	aan	de	kwaliteit	en	daardoor	is	"	fallen	"	nog	een	vermakelijke	film	geworden	.
pos	written	by	larry	ferguson	.	directed	by	ringo	lam	.	starring	jean	claude	van	damme	and	natasha	henstridge	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	,	nudity	,	and	profanity	)	101	mins	.	synopsis	:	alain	,	a	cop	from	"	south	of	france	,	"	encounters	the	corpse	of	his	unknown	twin	brother	,	assumes	his	identity	,	travels	to	the	usa	,	and	meets	an	annoying	cabbie	,	the	russian	mafia	,	crooked	fbi	agents	,	and	his	brother's	former	lover	,	alex	.	after	surviving	car	chases	,	street	fights	,	and	near	deaths	due	to	fires	,	alain	becomes	nervous	when	he	must	introduce	alex	to	his	mother	.	comments	:	maximum	risk's	opening	informs	the	audience	that	the	scene	takes	place	"	south	of	france	.	"	the	scene	actually	takes	place	in	france	,	the	audience	finds	out	,	and	i'd	imagine	the	filmmakers	probably	meant	"	southern	france	.	"	why	mention	this	?	because	i	wanted	to	point	out	that	one	can't	apply	logic	to	maximum	risk	and	expect	it	to	work	.	in	fact	,	logic	immediately	falls	apart	in	this	movie	.	in	order	to	enjoy	it	,	ome	must	throw	logic	out	the	window	.	this	movie	,	like	so	many	other	action	movies	,	is	dumb	.	mindlessly	dumb	.	it	competently	delivers	,	however	,	a	lot	of	action	in	a	slick	manner	;	therefore	,	it	manages	to	achieve	what	the	filmmakers	set	out	to	achieve	.	in	order	to	somehow	justify	one	elaborate	action	sequence	after	another	,	an	action	movie's	plot	must	usually	be	contrived	and	contain	many	competing	factions	.	such	is	the	case	with	maximum	risk	,	which	is	populated	by	crooked	fbi	agents	allied	with	the	russian	mob	,	an	alluring	seductress	,	a	cop	who	has	crossed	the	line	,	a	cabbie	who	doesn't	know	better	than	to	stay	away	from	dangerous	people	,	and	twins	separated	at	birth	,	just	to	name	a	few	.	and	,	i	haven't	even	mentioned	the	plot	elements	:	fires	,	car	chases	,	chases	through	crowded	streets	with	screaming	pedestrians	,	lots	of	guns	,	a	chainsaw	,	and	the	obligatory	sex	scene	(	don't	forget	,	natasha	henstridge	,	the	femme	fatale	from	species	,	stars	in	this	film	)	,	amongst	others	.	somehow	,	with	a	considerable	suspension	of	disbelief	,	larry	ferguson's	script	manages	to	make	most	of	these	disparate	elements	work	(	occasionally	,	something	is	so	ridiculously	implausible	that	you	have	to	groan	)	.	maximum	risk	basically	serves	as	a	vehicle	for	martial	arts	star	jean	claude	van	damme	,	even	though	natasha	henstridge	prominently	appears	on	the	poster	and	video	box	along	with	him	.	natasha	henstridge	,	a	very	capable	model	turned	actress	,	has	surprisingly	little	to	work	with	in	this	movie	.	she	appears	much	later	in	the	film	than	one	would	expect	and	basically	plays	the	damsel	in	distress	who	van	damme	must	frequently	save	from	the	bad	guys	.	her	role	here	comes	as	a	surprise	considering	the	other	movies	she's	been	in	to	date	.	(	she	played	a	tough	cop	in	the	awful	adrenalin	:	fear	the	rush	and	a	tougher	,	dangerous	seductress	in	species	.	)	those	who	are	familiar	with	her	"	revealing	"	species	character	,	though	,	won't	be	surprised	to	find	that	she	strips	off	clothing	left	and	right	in	maximum	risk	as	well	.	she	looks	like	nice	in	a	beret	too	!	the	main	star	,	however	,	is	indeed	van	damme	,	and	this	movie	features	van	damme	fighting	,	kicking	,	punching	,	and	bleeding	like	he	does	in	every	other	movie	he's	been	in	.	the	fights	and	the	stuntwork	are	the	true	stars	of	the	movie	,	of	course	,	and	they're	delivered	frequently	and	entertainingly	.	occasionally	,	the	violence	is	slightly	uncomfortable	(	in	one	scene	,	alain	slowly	twists	a	bad	guy's	hand	which	snaps	when	it	breaks	)	and	thus	resembles	steven	seagal's	oftentimes	disturbingly	violent	sequences	.	for	the	most	part	,	however	,	the	action	is	cartoonish	enough	to	seem	too	unreal	to	be	sensitive	to	.	even	if	one	were	to	excuse	a	number	of	faults	due	to	its	being	an	action	movie	,	maximum	risk	still	isn't	perfect	.	for	one	thing	,	at	101	minutes	,	it	plays	too	long	for	an	action	movie	of	this	nature	.	about	10	or	so	minutes	of	scenes	containing	unnecessary	plot	details	could	have	been	shaved	from	the	running	time	.	also	,	larry	ferguson	,	for	some	reason	,	tried	to	inject	blatant	humor	,	unsuccessfully	,	into	the	mix	by	introducing	an	annoying	cabbie	with	aspirations	to	be	a	novelist	.	this	character's	lines	aren't	cute	or	humorous	(	even	alain	tells	him	to	"	shut	up	"	)	,	and	the	audience	is	left	feeling	relieved	rather	than	angry	when	he	is	killed	by	the	bad	guys	.	despite	these	criticisms	,	maximum	risk	still	delivers	.	if	you're	in	the	mood	for	a	dumb	action	movie	,	you'd	be	better	off	risking	this	film	than	a	number	of	other	turkeys	out	there	in	this	genre	.
pos	starring	sidney	poitier	,	rod	steiger	,	warren	oates	,	lee	grant	,	scott	wilson	,	larry	gates	,	and	james	paterson	.	as	african	american	detective	vergil	tibbs	questions	a	suspected	white	murderer	inside	a	jail	cell	,	there	is	a	wonderful	,	eye	catching	shot	which	instantaneously	presents	the	main	message	of	the	entire	film	.	the	shot	has	tibbs'	face	completely	covered	by	the	shadows	of	the	prison	bars	.	to	see	these	bars	blocking	his	face	,	we	see	how	separated	tibbs	is	from	the	rest	of	the	characters	in	the	film	.	as	a	black	detective	conducting	an	investigation	in	a	southern	town	full	of	violent	white	bigots	,	no	matter	how	innocent	tibbs	is	,	he	is	still	seen	by	these	bigots	as	a	threat	simply	because	of	the	color	of	his	skin	.	the	bars	show	that	tibbs	has	not	been	given	a	fair	chance	to	show	exactly	who	he	is	,	instead	others	have	chosen	him	as	different	and	dangerous	.	this	one	shot	amazes	me	because	it	captures	a	whole	theme	in	a	matter	of	seconds	.	it	perhaps	may	be	the	most	powerful	image	i	have	seen	in	a	film	.	"	in	the	heat	of	the	night	"	was	the	first	and	the	best	of	the	three	films	norman	jewison	directed	concerning	racism	in	america	.	jewison	has	a	very	keen	style	of	displaying	various	cases	of	racism	as	he	is	neither	pedantic	nor	overly	sentimental	.	in	these	three	films	he	does	an	excellent	job	creating	very	detailed	equal	analyses	of	characters	from	the	abused	to	the	abusers	.	he	is	also	not	afraid	to	tell	the	absolute	truth	about	how	corrupt	society	was	in	the	past	and	is	in	the	present	.	preceding	the	very	original	"	a	soldier's	story	"	and	the	recently	released	"	the	hurricane	,	"	"	in	the	heat	of	the	night	contains	some	classic	lines	and	some	very	memorable	characters	.	the	film	,	which	won	best	picture	in	1967	focuses	on	vergil	tibbs	,	played	superbly	by	sidney	poitier	as	a	fearless	african	american	police	officer	from	philadelphia	who	refuses	to	give	up	on	an	investigation	in	a	white	town	where	is	he	not	wanted	.	tibbs	is	a	man	who	rarely	loses	his	temper	and	that	is	worth	mentioning	because	he	is	constantly	facing	abuse	from	those	around	him	.	as	a	hero	who	is	not	afraid	to	face	off	against	five	men	with	chains	,	tibbs	is	the	perfect	protagonist	.	poitier	also	gives	an	excellent	,	noteworthy	voice	to	his	character	.	never	nervous	and	always	commanding	,	his	speech	patterns	are	very	manipulative	as	they	range	from	stentorian	to	soothing	.	however	,	unlike	"	the	hurricane	"	where	denzel	washington	dominated	over	the	rest	of	the	cast	,	poitier	shares	the	spotlight	with	rod	steiger	,	who	won	best	actor	for	his	excellent	performance	.	as	a	sheriff	who	helps	tibbs	and	warns	him	of	the	dangers	around	him	,	steiger	shows	a	great	amount	of	skill	in	his	role	.	he	starts	off	as	racist	and	blind	as	the	other	townspeople	.	he	would	refer	to	tibbs	as	"	boy	"	and	would	always	suspiciously	keep	an	eye	on	him	.	as	the	film	progresses	though	,	there	is	a	very	gradual	change	in	the	sheriff	.	he	begins	to	see	the	hardships	tibbs	faces	and	he	sees	the	foolishness	of	his	own	neighbors	.	what	i	really	enjoyed	about	steiger's	character	was	that	he	did	not	completely	abandon	his	friends	or	connect	with	tibbs	at	the	end	of	the	film	.	he	still	could	not	refer	to	tibbs	as	mister	tibbs	or	officer	tibbs	but	rather	settled	for	virgil	.	instead	,	it	was	apparent	that	he	was	eventually	going	to	see	the	world	differently	in	the	future	.	most	movies	would	have	a	character	reversing	all	of	his	beliefs	and	influences	in	a	matter	of	minutes	.	this	action	would	not	have	been	realistic	at	all	since	it	is	nearly	impossible	for	someone	to	believe	something	one	day	and	believe	something	else	the	next	day	.	jewison's	determination	to	make	this	film	as	realistic	as	possible	is	very	obvious	here	and	also	very	appropriate	.	"	in	the	heat	of	the	night	"	shows	the	difference	between	the	north	and	the	south	or	a	major	city	and	a	small	town	in	the	united	states	during	the	1960's	.	it	displays	this	perfectly	.	however	,	the	actual	investigation	,	although	it	is	not	the	main	focus	of	the	film	,	lacks	interest	.	it	seemed	rushed	especially	towards	the	end	as	if	jewison	had	given	his	message	about	racism	and	did	not	feel	like	giving	a	credible	explanation	involving	the	murder	victim	.	there	were	way	too	many	characters	added	during	the	last	fifteen	minutes	and	some	of	the	scenes	during	this	time	period	were	inane	(	police	officer	sam	being	a	suspect	was	not	needed	)	.	also	,	it	is	given	that	tibbs	is	a	vigilant	homicide	detective	who	is	the	best	at	what	he	does	,	but	some	of	his	discoveries	came	out	of	nowhere	and	how	he	found	out	some	of	the	important	case	details	towards	the	end	were	never	answered	.	the	rushed	ending	was	the	only	mistake	of	this	otherwise	memorable	jewison	classic	.	(	a	congratulations	has	to	be	given	to	actor	scott	wilson	.	he	managed	to	be	in	the	two	best	movies	of	1967	,	"	in	the	heat	of	the	night	"	and	the	even	better	"	in	cold	blood	.	"	)
pos	starring	ian	mckellen	,	brendan	fraser	,	lynn	redgrave	.	rated	r	.	not	too	many	people	know	who	james	whale	is	,	but	it's	a	safe	bet	that	a	good	chunk	of	them	have	seen	his	movies	.	if	we	are	to	believe	the	semi	biographical	gods	and	monsters	,	whale	would	have	wanted	it	to	be	that	way	.	this	is	an	insightful	,	haunting	exploration	of	the	last	days	of	the	frankenstein	and	bride	of	frankenstein	director	,	and	it	is	notable	for	introducing	one	of	the	first	complicated	gay	characters	in	a	hollywood	movie	.	gods	and	monsters	has	no	interest	in	being	a	biopic	of	whale's	life	because	it	tracks	only	the	final	few	days	of	his	life	,	and	it's	probably	a	better	movie	for	it	.	it's	focus	is	on	whale's	(	ian	mckellen	)	untraditional	and	deceptive	lust	for	heterosexual	gardener	clayton	boone	(	brendan	fraser	)	.	it	begins	with	whale	(	a	fairly	talented	artist	,	aside	from	being	a	director	)	asking	boone	to	"	sit	for	him	,	"	(	pose	for	a	portrait	)	.	at	first	,	boone	doesn't	realize	that	whale	is	gay	and	grows	fascinated	with	the	old	man	.	when	he	does	discover	whale's	sexual	orientation	from	his	dedicated	and	protective	maid	(	lynn	redgrave	)	,	he	is	frightened	,	refusing	to	sit	for	the	guy	.	but	he	comes	back	,	only	to	storm	out	again	,	disgusted	with	whale's	"	locker	room	talk	.	"	boone	returns	yet	another	time	,	after	whale	promises	to	tone	down	the	aforementioned	"	locker	room	talk	,	"	and	finds	their	platonic	relationship	to	be	strengthening	.	meanwhile	,	jimmy	himself	is	suffering	from	hallucinations	and	mental	attacks	as	a	result	of	his	stroke	not	long	ago	.	his	ailment	leads	to	desperation	and	depression	,	which	build	to	the	point	where	he	is	forced	to	ask	boone	for	an	incredulously	big	favor	.	what	is	perhaps	most	sensational	about	gods	and	monsters	is	brendan	fraser's	bravura	performance	;	up	until	seeing	this	film	i	intensely	disliked	the	young	actor	because	of	his	tendency	to	ruin	the	movies	he	is	in	(	blast	from	the	past	,	for	example	)	.	i	was	surprised	how	expressive	an	actor	he	proved	himself	to	be	here	.	this	is	impressive	because	his	character's	dialogue	is	minimal	,	with	mckellan	doing	most	of	the	talking	.	that	requires	fraser	to	act	through	body	language	;	a	difficult	skill	to	master	,	but	something	he	proves	capable	of	doing	well	.	this	is	not	to	ignore	mckellan's	oscar	nominated	turn	.	he	earned	that	nomination	with	his	touching	performance	here	(	although	,	at	the	risk	of	sounding	like	a	philistine	,	i	would	have	chosen	his	performance	as	the	nazi	in	apt	pupil	for	the	nomination	)	;	an	understated	,	compelling	gem	.	whale	dreaded	being	remembered	solely	for	his	work	in	the	hollywood	horror	genre	,	and	he	thought	hollywood	to	be	the	equivalent	of	a	battlefield	.	he	rejoiced	in	being	free	from	it	,	only	reluctantly	going	to	receptions	with	fellow	movie	people	.	in	the	end	,	perhaps	,	it	is	what	killed	him	:	the	memories	of	hollywood	and	war	blending	together	to	form	a	living	nightmare	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
pos	why	do	so	many	children's	films	treat	their	target	audience	with	utter	contempt	?	too	many	of	those	who	write	or	direct	for	children's	movies	assume	that	the	kids	just	can't	handle	serious	,	thoughtful	discussions	on	meaningful	issues	.	"	the	iron	giant	,	"	which	was	directed	and	co	written	by	brad	bird	,	late	of	such	animated	series	as	"	the	simpsons	"	and	"	king	of	the	hill	,	"	assumes	that	not	only	can	children	handle	such	discussions	,	but	that	they	can	do	so	while	being	entertained	at	the	same	time	.	"	the	iron	giant	"	holds	absolutely	no	contempt	for	the	young	people	in	the	audience	,	making	it	a	film	that's	enjoyable	for	both	children	and	adults	alike	.	hogarth	hughes	(	voice	of	eli	marienthal	)	is	a	spirited	young	lad	who	lives	with	his	hard	working	single	mother	,	annie	(	jennifer	aniston	)	,	in	a	small	town	in	maine	.	after	staying	up	late	and	watching	scary	movies	on	a	night	his	mother	is	away	,	hogarth	treks	out	into	the	forest	to	investigate	what	has	stolen	his	antenna	and	ruined	his	tv	reception	.	he	comes	across	a	giant	robot	(	vin	diesel	)	from	space	that	eats	metal	for	food	.	after	saving	the	robot	,	nicknamed	the	iron	giant	,	from	electric	shock	,	hogarth	befriends	the	creature	and	takes	him	in	as	a	pet	of	sorts	.	because	of	damage	he	suffered	upon	landing	,	the	giant	has	forgotten	what	his	original	mission	was	,	so	he	just	follows	hogarth	around	like	a	lost	puppy	.	realizing	he	can't	just	keep	the	giant	in	a	barn	all	the	time	,	and	that	the	giant	needs	food	,	he	takes	him	to	a	junkyard	owned	by	dean	(	harry	connick	jr	.	)	,	an	eccentric	artist	who	assembles	sculptures	out	of	scrap	iron	in	his	spare	time	.	it	soon	becomes	apparent	that	dean	and	hogarth	can't	keep	the	giant	a	secret	forever	,	because	a	government	spook	named	kent	mansley	(	christopher	mcdonald	)	has	been	brought	in	to	investigate	mysterious	sightings	in	the	surrounding	forest	area	and	considers	the	giant	a	threat	to	national	security	.	he	suspects	hogarth	knows	something	about	the	giant	,	and	takes	up	residence	in	hogarth's	house	as	a	lodger	.	meanwhile	,	the	giant	begins	to	exhibit	ominous	behavior	that	suggests	he	was	built	to	be	a	weapon	of	some	kind	.	"	the	iron	giant	"	is	exactly	what	family	films	ought	to	be	,	because	it	doesn'	t	talk	down	to	its	audience	.	the	story	is	simple	,	very	simple	,	about	an	alien	being	that	drops	out	of	the	sky	and	befriends	a	young	boy	.	it's	very	similar	to	the	spielberg	classic	"	e	.	t	.	,	'	and	such	comparisons	are	actually	deserved	in	the	case	of	"	the	iron	giant	.	"	the	film	holds	many	of	the	better	elements	of	spielberg's	film	,	such	as	the	ability	to	be	sentimental	without	turning	sappy	.	the	film	delivers	several	serious	messages	,	the	most	important	of	which	is	one's	ability	to	choose	one's	own	fate	.	hogarth	teaches	the	giant	to	go	against	his	programming	and	become	what	he	wants	to	be	:	a	hero	.	the	final	sequence	is	touching	and	appropriate	,	though	i	won't	give	it	away	,	i	will	say	that	very	few	will	be	disappointed	.	the	animation	,	while	not	up	to	disney	standards	(	what	could	be	,	after	"	tarzan	"	?	)	,	is	good	enough	to	make	you	forget	you're	watching	a	cartoon	.	the	giant	is	computer	animated	,	while	the	human	characters	are	all	hand	drawn	the	old	fashioned	way	.	the	characters'	faces	are	done	quite	well	,	drawn	realistically	enough	to	make	the	personalities	credible	,	but	the	features	are	exaggerated	so	as	to	allow	for	the	cartoonish	expressions	that	provide	for	comic	relief	.	fine	voice	work	is	turned	in	by	young	eli	marienthal	as	hogarth	,	and	jennifer	aniston	is	surprisingly	convincing	as	his	waitress	mother	.	harry	connick	jr	.	does	a	nice	characterization	as	dean	,	and	i	really	enjoyed	the	voice	work	of	john	mahoney	(	of	tv's	"	frasier	"	)	as	an	army	general	called	in	by	agent	mansley	.	unlike	several	cartoon	features	,	each	character	is	actually	a	developed	personality	,	rather	than	a	stereotype	,	and	is	actually	integral	to	the	plot	,	rather	than	being	a	superfluous	comic	relief	sidekick	(	a	clich	disney	still	hasn't	ditched	)	.	dean	,	for	example	,	could	have	been	a	stereotypical	beatnik	(	his	character	profile	seems	to	suggest	that	)	,	but	he	is	presented	as	a	character	with	real	emotions	,	thoughts	,	and	motivations	.	even	the	heavy	,	agent	mansley	,	is	not	a	villain	who	does	bad	things	simply	because	he	wants	to	,	but	out	of	his	own	fear	and	paranoia	.	a	lesser	animated	feature	would	have	drawn	up	paper	thin	stereotypes	and	figure	the	kids	won't	mind	,	but	"	the	iron	giant	"	has	clearly	put	a	little	work	into	making	the	characters	real	,	and	it	pays	off	.	the	film	isn't	only	around	to	deliver	heavy	handed	messages	,	though	.	it's	also	very	funny	,	and	the	humor	is	of	the	kind	that	both	children	and	adults	will	enjoy	.	the	scenes	in	which	hogarth	teaches	the	giant	to	do	certain	things	,	such	as	dive	into	a	pool	,	are	handled	well	,	and	director	brad	bird	clearly	has	a	sense	of	comic	timing	,	having	worked	on	"	the	simpsons	"	for	many	years	.	a	sequence	where	hogarth	and	mansley	attempt	to	"	outlast	"	one	another	by	trying	to	stay	awake	is	very	nicely	timed	,	and	also	extremely	clever	.	the	film	even	takes	some	jabs	at	america's	nuclear	paranoia	during	the	early	stages	of	the	cold	war	,	satirizing	the	lame	safety	films	shown	to	grade	school	students	that	tell	them	to	"	duck	and	cover	"	in	the	event	of	a	nuclear	attack	.	"	the	iron	giant	"	has	much	more	of	a	satirical	edge	to	it	than	most	family	films	,	and	the	edgy	humor	is	actually	quite	refreshing	.	instead	of	seeing	people	get	bonked	on	the	head	,	we	get	well	timed	,	clever	gags	that	seem	to	have	required	some	imagination	to	come	up	with	.	when	you	get	right	down	to	it	,	"	the	iron	giant	"	is	no	more	than	the	story	of	a	boy	and	his	robot	.	the	story	is	so	straightforward	,	so	quaint	,	that	it	ultimately	becomes	charming	.	though	i	enjoy	the	complex	plotting	of	film	noir	as	much	as	the	next	person	,	when	it	comes	to	family	entertainment	,	simple	is	the	way	to	go	.	it's	akin	to	one	of	those	bedtime	stories	your	father	told	that	had	you	hanging	on	his	every	word	,	but	it's	not	the	story	that	sets	the	film	above	others	of	its	kind	,	but	rather	the	elements	that	go	into	the	story	,	namely	real	characters	and	thoughtful	dialogue	,	which	"	the	iron	giant	"	has	in	spades	.
pos	the	sweet	hereafter	could	serve	as	a	textbook	example	of	the	difference	between	television	movies	and	"	real	"	movies	.	consider	for	a	moment	what	a	television	producer	would	do	with	a	book	that	features	a	fatal	school	bus	accident	and	a	lawyer	out	to	sign	up	the	bereaved	lots	of	hot	sensationalism	interrupted	with	breaks	to	sell	beer	and	toothpaste	.	top	flight	writer	and	director	atom	egoyan	delivers	instead	a	film	with	tremendous	power	whose	most	notable	trait	is	its	touching	subtlety	.	based	on	a	respected	book	of	the	same	name	by	author	russell	banks	,	the	movie	represents	a	rethinking	of	the	story's	structure	,	not	merely	a	literal	adaptation	of	the	novel	.	told	in	linear	form	by	four	narrators	in	the	book	,	egoyan's	version	happens	instead	in	overlapping	time	sequences	and	without	a	narrator	.	the	author	is	even	on	record	as	applauding	egoyan's	changes	.	in	the	press	notes	the	book's	author	describes	the	story	as	"	a	parable	of	lost	children	.	"	he	says	it	asks	what	a	town	does	in	the	absence	of	its	children	.	picking	up	on	this	,	egoyan	has	a	flashback	in	which	a	sitter	,	nicole	burnell	,	played	with	grace	by	sarah	polley	,	reads	parts	of	"	the	pied	piper	"	from	an	old	,	illustrated	book	to	her	two	charges	.	periodically	throughout	the	picture	,	nicole's	readings	are	heard	in	voice	over	.	you	have	never	heard	this	moving	poem	read	so	sweetly	or	in	such	an	appropriate	moment	.	they	and	the	rest	of	the	town's	children	come	into	harm's	way	some	live	and	others	are	seriously	injured	.	and	the	entire	small	canadian	town	where	the	accident	occurs	is	never	the	same	again	.	although	the	physical	damage	is	inflicted	mainly	on	the	children	,	the	adults	bear	the	emotional	scars	of	the	loss	.	ian	holm	,	in	arguably	the	best	performance	of	his	distinguished	career	,	plays	mitchell	stephens	,	an	intense	man	of	quiet	misery	.	mitchell	is	the	outsider	in	the	story	set	in	a	small	,	snow	encrusted	community	in	the	british	columbian	wilderness	.	his	mission	there	is	a	singular	one	,	to	sign	up	the	parents	so	that	he	can	sue	someone	,	anyone	,	on	their	behalf	.	if	this	seems	crass	,	well	it	is	,	but	mitchell	approaches	his	job	with	the	dedication	of	a	religious	zealot	.	the	story	unfolds	slowly	and	always	believably	.	each	little	aspect	has	its	own	fascination	.	as	mitchell	interviews	wendell	and	rita	walker	,	played	with	quiet	realism	by	maury	chaykin	and	alberta	watson	,	he	has	a	simple	task	.	he	wants	them	to	suggest	some	model	couple	in	the	village	who	has	a	lost	a	child	so	that	he	can	use	that	couple	to	form	the	basis	of	the	suit	.	wendell	ticks	off	one	town	member	after	another	and	then	,	as	one	can	in	a	small	town	,	enumerates	each	person's	numerous	faults	.	although	the	town	is	no	peyton	place	,	people	there	do	have	their	foibles	.	one	of	the	best	parents	in	the	town	appears	to	be	billy	ansell	(	bruce	greenwood	)	,	who	rides	his	pickup	behind	the	school	bus	everyday	just	so	he	can	wave	good	bye	to	his	kids	.	well	,	single	parent	billy's	fault	is	that	he	has	regularly	scheduled	trysts	with	the	married	rita	.	his	confessions	to	rita	about	his	feelings	of	loss	are	one	of	the	many	heartfelt	outpourings	in	the	story	.	the	accident	itself	,	a	simple	one	of	a	bus	hitting	a	patch	of	ice	,	isn't	shown	until	the	middle	of	the	picture	,	but	,	nevertheless	,	the	mystery	about	it	builds	throughout	the	film	.	although	the	picture	is	no	detective	story	,	finding	out	exactly	what	happened	is	a	subtheme	in	a	movie	that	is	primarily	a	character	study	of	a	town	gripped	by	tragedy	.	as	the	injured	bus	driver	,	gabrielle	rose	,	dolores	driscoll	plays	the	role	of	a	dedicated	individual	who	loves	kids	with	a	passion	and	for	whom	the	tragedy	takes	on	special	meaning	.	to	round	out	the	story	,	mitchell	has	his	own	private	tragedy	to	bear	.	his	daughter	zoe	(	caerthan	banks	)	is	a	drug	addict	who	has	bounced	in	and	out	of	one	half	way	house	and	recovery	center	after	another	.	fond	of	calling	her	dad	on	his	cell	phone	so	she	can	ask	for	money	or	help	,	she	interrupts	him	at	many	emotionally	charged	moments	as	he	attempts	to	sign	up	the	townsfolk	.	(	"	i	can	help	you	,	"	mitchell	tries	to	reassure	billy	.	"	not	unless	you	can	raise	the	dead	,	"	billy	snaps	back	.	mitchell's	pitch	is	never	an	easy	one	and	worrying	about	zoe	only	makes	it	harder	.	)	mychael	danna's	haunting	music	sets	the	stage	for	tragedy	.	the	cinematography	by	paul	sarossy	is	sweeping	in	its	outdoor	grandeur	,	but	it	is	in	the	warm	,	shadowy	,	intimate	moments	indoors	where	it	works	best	.	the	show	,	which	is	ripe	for	emotional	manipulation	,	never	plays	with	its	audience	.	still	,	when	the	house	lights	go	up	,	you	may	feel	as	i	did	.	i	could	barely	breathe	;	i	was	so	overcome	by	the	sum	total	of	what	i	had	witnessed	.	more	than	anything	,	the	film	is	like	a	master	painting	.	each	cinematic	brush	stroke	is	carefully	laid	down	by	egoyan	with	the	beauty	building	with	each	dollop	of	paint	.	with	the	final	color	in	place	,	the	masterpiece	is	complete	,	and	the	ending	credits	roll	.	the	sweet	hereafter	runs	1	:	50	.	it	is	rated	r	for	mature	themes	,	sexuality	and	some	profanity	and	would	be	fine	teenagers	.
pos	capsule	:	the	verma	family	is	having	a	wedding	and	all	the	relatives	will	come	for	the	multi	day	festivities	.	mira	nair's	film	is	pleasant	enough	with	a	little	human	drama	,	a	few	family	secrets	,	some	sadness	and	some	happiness	.	you	have	seen	it	all	before	,	but	perhaps	not	from	india	.	the	photography	is	colorful	and	the	music	is	very	agreeable	.	rating	:	7	(	0	to	10	)	,	low	2	(	4	to	4	)	mira	nair	previously	directed	salaam	bombay	and	mississippi	masala	.	her	newest	film	,	written	by	sabrina	dhawan	,	is	very	similar	to	previous	films	like	betsy's	wedding	but	it	is	set	in	new	delhi	.	a	wealthy	family	is	having	a	wedding	.	an	indian	wedding	is	a	multi	day	affair	as	much	a	family	reunion	as	a	nuptial	.	even	more	than	in	the	us	,	it	is	an	excuse	for	a	lavish	and	extravagant	family	get	together	.	the	film	shows	us	what	the	family	does	together	and	at	the	same	time	follows	several	family	members'	individual	story	lines	.	aditi	verma	is	marrying	hemant	,	an	indian	engineer	working	in	the	us	.	she	had	previously	had	a	relationship	with	vikram	,	her	supervisor	.	latit	,	her	father	(	played	by	naseeruddin	shah	)	,	is	juggling	many	problems	,	not	the	least	of	which	is	worrying	about	the	caterer	has	hired	pk	dubey	.	dubey	is	a	rather	eccentric	man	with	a	taste	for	eating	the	marigolds	he	uses	for	decoration	.	even	dubey	will	soon	be	romantically	entangled	when	he	becomes	interested	in	alice	,	one	of	the	family	servants	.	several	family	members	arrive	giving	rise	to	several	plotlines	involving	sex	,	family	secrets	,	or	both	.	there	are	heartbreaks	and	there	are	people	falling	in	love	.	some	of	the	subjects	covered	are	probably	near	taboo	for	indian	films	.	western	audiences	will	appreciate	a	look	at	unfamiliar	indian	customs	like	women	painting	their	hands	with	henna	.	on	the	other	hand	it	was	not	clear	(	to	me	at	least	)	if	scenes	like	the	family	singing	together	are	typical	of	indian	culture	or	if	they	are	a	convention	of	indian	musical	films	.	this	seems	a	particularly	westernized	family	with	the	father	wearing	american	designer	sweaters	and	the	family	speaking	mostly	english	.	the	latter	will	,	however	,	help	with	an	international	release	.	sabrina	dhawan's	screenplay	is	vibrant	with	witty	dialog	.	we	have	seen	films	with	plotting	very	much	like	this	,	but	the	indian	setting	makes	a	great	deal	of	difference	.	director	mira	nair	calls	the	film	an	affirmation	of	life	.	i	rate	it	a	7	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	low	2	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
pos	during	the	making	of	his	film	biography	of	jazz	musician	charlie	parker	,	bird	,	clint	eastwood	said	that	america	has	produced	only	two	original	artforms	.	western	movies	and	jazz	.	everyone	knew	that	clint	had	and	would	continue	to	make	his	mark	on	the	former	(	dirty	harry	,	unforgiven	)	,	and	with	bird	,	he	unforgettably	touched	upon	the	latter	.	after	reflecting	upon	the	two	original	american	artforms	,	what	was	eastwood	to	do	?	after	unforgiven	,	the	quality	of	his	work	decreased	bit	by	bit	as	he	decided	not	to	take	as	many	risks	as	he	once	did	.	his	latest	,	true	crime	,	doesn't	offer	much	in	the	way	of	originality	,	but	it	still	provides	the	viewer	with	a	solid	,	satisfying	drama	.	true	crime	tells	the	story	of	steve	everett	(	eastwood	)	,	a	journalist	for	the	oakland	tribune	.	ev	,	as	he	is	known	to	his	friends	,	is	an	unscrupulous	,	womanizing	former	drunkard	who's	colleague	(	mary	mccormack	)	is	killed	in	a	car	crash	just	moments	after	having	a	drink	with	him	.	in	the	aftermath	,	ev	is	told	by	his	editor	(	denis	leary	)	,	with	whose	wife	he	is	sleeping	,	that	he	must	take	his	colleague's	place	covering	the	story	of	a	convicted	murderer	named	frank	beachum	(	isaiah	wasington	)	,	who	is	set	to	be	executed	that	night	.	ev's	boss	(	james	woods	)	,	with	whose	wife	he	also	claims	to	be	sleeping	,	explains	to	him	that	this	is	merely	a	human	interest	story	about	life	before	execution	.	but	ev	finds	something	fishy	in	this	case	in	which	beachum	was	convicted	of	shooting	a	pregnant	woman	working	a	cash	register	in	a	small	market	.	after	a	meeting	with	beachum	and	a	key	witness	in	the	trial	,	ev	is	convinced	that	beachum	did	not	commit	the	murder	.	in	the	hours	leading	up	to	beachum's	planned	execution	,	ev	ends	up	losing	his	job	and	his	marriage	,	but	never	his	composure	.	for	most	of	its	2	plus	hour	running	time	,	true	crime	is	a	cut	above	the	competition	.	it	keeps	the	viewer	engrossed	,	wanting	to	know	every	detail	about	what's	going	on	.	but	the	last	15	minutes	of	the	film	keep	it	from	being	the	riveting	thriller	it	wants	to	be	.	the	ending	of	true	crime	is	totally	unconvincing	,	and	makes	you	think	that	maybe	this	isn't	the	leisurely	paced	drama	you	were	watching	for	the	past	two	hours	.	the	film's	ending	happens	to	quickly	to	digest	,	and	makes	you	leave	the	theater	unable	to	realize	what	point	the	film	was	trying	to	make	.	maybe	part	of	the	problem	was	the	fact	that	true	crime	used	three	screenwriters	to	adapt	andrew	klavan's	novel	,	and	each	writer	seems	to	want	to	take	the	film	on	a	different	trip	.	eastwood	uses	clever	restraint	throughout	most	of	the	film	,	but	the	ending	seems	to	be	too	much	to	handle	.	but	true	crime	is	a	film	definitely	worth	seeing	,	especially	for	a	great	perfromance	by	isaiah	washington	,	as	an	accused	man	approaching	death	.	i'm	glad	to	see	that	clint	has	decided	to	give	his	own	american	touch	to	a	conventional	storyline	,	because	leaving	this	film	in	the	hands	of	someone	else	would	be	a	true	crime	.	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	directed	by	mary	harron	.	screenplay	by	harron	and	guinevere	turner	,	from	the	novel	by	bret	easton	ellis	.	starring	christian	bale	,	chloe	sevigny	,	willem	dafoe	.	running	time	:	102	minutes	.	rated	r	for	extreme	violence	and	graphic	sexual	content	(	mfcb	)	.	reviewed	on	april	17th	,	2000	.	few	movies	have	engendered	such	controversy	as	"	american	psycho	"	.	not	only	has	there	been	concern	over	its	violent	and	sexual	content	,	but	the	1991	bret	easton	ellis	novel	upon	which	the	film	is	based	is	notorious	for	having	been	read	by	karla	homolka	,	accomplice	of	convicted	sex	murderer	paul	bernardo	.	but	those	who	have	sought	to	censor	"	american	psycho	"	have	done	so	with	little	merit	.	this	is	not	a	movie	about	murder	per	se	,	and	any	intelligent	watching	of	the	film	should	make	that	obvious	.	does	the	lead	character	,	patrick	bateman	,	kill	people	?	yes	,	and	the	implication	is	that	many	more	die	off	screen	.	but	this	very	fact	that	much	of	bateman's	crime	spree	is	referred	to	only	in	passing	makes	it	clear	that	the	movie	is	less	concerned	about	his	deeds	than	about	bateman	himself	.	the	killings	themselves	are	alternately	comical	and	dispassionate	.	there	is	none	of	the	frenzied	bloodlust	of	"	natural	born	killers	"	(	another	good	film	about	murderers	,	but	one	that	is	very	different	in	its	approach	to	the	material	)	.	in	one	of	the	movie's	best	scenes	,	for	instance	,	bateman	is	more	concerned	with	keeping	his	clothes	and	apartment	clean	,	and	with	discussing	the	merits	of	huey	lewis	,	than	with	the	actual	process	of	murdering	a	colleague	.	instead	,	"	american	psycho	"	works	on	two	levels	.	first	,	and	most	obviously	,	it	is	a	character	study	of	patrick	bateman	,	a	complex	and	difficult	role	played	splendidly	by	christian	bale	.	and	second	,	it	serves	as	a	scathing	indictment	of	the	1980s	,	of	the	shallow	and	materialistic	values	which	were	the	hallmark	of	that	decade	and	which	still	play	an	all	too	important	role	in	western	society	.	patrick	bateman	is	a	mid	level	executive	in	his	late	twenties	.	his	day	seems	to	consist	mostly	of	"	meetings	"	with	other	mid	level	executives	,	which	essentially	amount	to	contests	of	ego	(	we	never	actually	see	them	doing	anything	work	related	)	.	bragging	rights	are	determined	by	the	quality	of	their	business	cards	and	their	ability	to	secure	reservations	at	chic	restaurants	.	several	of	them	are	engaged	,	but	this	seems	purely	for	show	;	they	fool	around	on	one	another	with	only	the	barest	of	nods	toward	secrecy	.	certainly	,	bateman's	relationship	with	his	own	fiancee	,	evelyn	(	reese	witherspoon	)	,	is	cold	and	loveless	.	indeed	,	bateman	and	the	others	are	so	similar	that	it	almost	feels	as	though	they	have	been	churned	out	on	an	assembly	line	.	their	slicked	back	hairstyles	,	their	style	of	dress	,	their	mode	of	speech	all	are	virtually	identical	.	a	running	gag	is	made	of	the	way	bateman	is	constantly	mistaken	for	others	(	he	doesn't	even	bother	to	correct	the	error	,	and	just	plays	along	)	.	but	unlike	his	confreres	,	bateman	has	a	secret	:	he	is	a	murderer	,	who	has	already	killed	as	the	movie	opens	and	kills	again	,	many	times	,	over	the	course	of	the	picture	.	"	american	psycho	"	does	not	concern	itself	with	the	whys	of	bateman's	psychosis	;	it	is	more	interested	in	his	mentality	now	that	he	has	succumbed	to	his	murderous	impulses	.	bateman	,	we	learn	,	thinks	of	himself	as	nothing	but	an	empty	,	hollow	shell	,	as	conveyed	effectively	by	a	number	of	visuals	.	early	on	,	bateman	removes	a	transparent	moisturizing	face	mask	to	reveal	the	same	face	underneath	:	his	flesh	hides	no	further	depths	.	later	,	bateman	gazes	into	a	polished	surface	,	but	there	is	only	the	barest	of	reflections	.	"	there	is	simply	nothing	there	,	"	he	says	of	himself	.	indeed	,	bateman	does	not	have	a	line	of	dialogue	which	is	heartfelt	or	honest	.	when	he	does	speak	,	it	is	simply	to	maintain	appearances	,	and	it	is	as	though	he	is	regurgitating	words	heard	or	read	elsewhere	;	his	favorite	subject	is	popular	music	,	but	his	opinions	feel	lifted	out	of	the	latest	"	rolling	stone	"	.	bateman	is	entirely	self	absorbed	,	seeking	to	mold	the	world	to	his	own	preferences	without	fully	committing	himself	to	that	world	.	he	instructs	his	secretary	,	jean	(	chloe	sevigny	)	,	how	to	dress	,	and	treats	himself	with	a	litany	of	body	care	products	.	indeed	,	the	murders	he	commits	can	be	seen	as	the	ultimate	extension	of	this	thirst	for	control	.	in	one	telling	scene	,	bateman	engages	in	a	three	way	sex	scene	with	two	prostitutes	,	but	spends	the	whole	time	watching	his	own	performance	in	the	mirror	;	rather	than	arousing	,	the	proceedings	are	perfunctory	and	emotionless	(	making	it	all	the	more	strange	that	this	was	the	scene	ordered	trimmed	from	the	us	release	by	the	mpaa	;	the	canadian	version	,	fortunately	,	is	unabridged	)	.	"	american	psycho	"	grows	increasingly	bizarre	as	the	story	unfolds	.	the	reality	of	the	film	seems	to	be	influenced	by	bateman's	own	grip	on	sanity	,	and	as	his	psychosis	grows	,	the	movie	becomes	more	and	more	surreal	.	unusually	,	for	a	picture	with	such	disturbing	subject	matter	,	this	lends	an	air	of	comedy	to	the	whole	thing	.	some	viewers	may	find	this	juxtaposition	uncomfortable	,	but	director	mary	harron	reaches	the	right	balance	,	and	the	humor	only	serves	to	further	augment	bateman's	dementia	.	apart	from	bale's	standout	performance	,	none	of	the	other	actors	are	memorable	,	mired	as	they	are	in	vacuous	and	superficial	parts	.	willem	dafoe	occupies	a	particularly	odd	role	,	as	a	detective	investigating	one	of	bateman's	killings	.	it	seems	fairly	clear	that	he	knows	bateman	is	the	murderer	,	and	yet	this	particular	subplot	simply	peters	out	.	indeed	,	some	may	take	issue	with	the	way	the	movie	as	a	whole	just	kind	of	stops	,	rather	than	reaching	some	kind	of	definitive	conclusion	.	but	i	find	it	hard	to	take	issue	with	this	technique	;	the	movie	is	,	above	all	else	,	a	character	sketch	,	and	once	it	has	nothing	new	to	say	about	patrick	bateman	,	it	sensibly	ends	.	what	kind	of	ending	could	"	american	psycho	"	really	have	had	,	without	it	seeming	superfluous	?	"	american	psycho	"	is	an	excellent	character	piece	,	marred	only	by	a	lack	of	supporting	material	.	the	look	it	provides	into	the	mind	of	a	serial	killer	is	both	chilling	and	sobering	for	,	despite	patrick	bateman's	obvious	and	self	confessed	insanity	,	how	far	removed	is	he	really	from	the	rest	of	us	?	now	,	if	you'll	excuse	me	,	i	have	to	return	some	videos	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	americanpsycho	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	americanpsycho	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	morgan	.	ucs	.	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	morgan	.	ucs	.	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
pos	i'm	not	quite	sure	how	best	to	go	about	writing	this	review	.	i	must	admit	that	i	was	a	little	disappointed	by	barry	levinson's	political	satire	"	wag	the	dog	,	"	but	in	retrospect	,	this	has	less	to	do	with	the	film	itself	than	with	false	expectations	i	had	going	into	it	.	quite	a	few	of	the	reviews	i	have	read	led	me	to	believe	that	this	film	was	absolutely	hilarious	and	would	make	me	laugh	out	loud	the	whole	way	through	,	and	it	didn't	do	that	.	they	also	led	me	to	believe	that	it	would	deliver	a	vicious	and	all	too	true	attack	on	the	way	the	american	political	media	works	,	and	it	didn't	quite	do	that	either	.	a	few	of	them	even	suggested	that	it	would	prove	a	worthy	successor	to	stanley	kubrick's	"	dr	.	strangelove	"	in	the	tradition	of	political	black	comedy	,	and	it	most	definitely	didn't	do	that	.	that	said	,	"	wag	the	dog	"	is	actually	a	very	clever	satire	on	the	shady	manipulations	of	political	figures	and	those	who	assist	them	.	the	story	revolves	around	the	attempts	of	political	spin	doctor	conread	brean	(	robert	deniro	)	to	distract	the	american	public	from	the	accusations	that	the	president	,	who	is	up	for	re	election	in	two	weeks	,	sexually	harassed	a	young	girl	in	the	oval	office	.	the	accusations	,	the	script	suggests	,	are	probably	untrue	,	but	as	brean	so	pointedly	puts	it	,	that	isn't	particularly	relevant	:	the	scandal	is	likely	to	derail	the	president's	campaign	regardless	of	its	truth	or	falsehood	.	brean	,	along	with	his	assistant	(	anne	heche	)	,	decide	to	contact	hollywood	producer	stanley	motss	(	dustin	hoffman	)	to	enlist	his	help	in	concocting	enough	propaganda	and	special	effects	trickery	to	make	it	appear	that	the	u	.	s	.	is	going	to	war	with	albanian	terrorists	and	thus	propel	the	president	to	victory	on	a	wave	of	patriotic	fervor	.	as	i	said	,	"	wag	the	dog	"	is	not	quite	as	laugh	out	loud	hilarious	as	i	had	expected	,	but	there	are	some	genuinely	funny	moments	to	be	found	here	,	such	as	when	,	in	an	echo	of	a	familiar	movie	clich	,	the	camera	pans	out	over	an	urban	sunset	to	the	strains	of	uplifting	,	inspirational	music	,	then	cuts	to	a	studio	to	reveal	that	the	singing	is	coming	from	a	group	of	musicians	whom	motss	has	assembled	to	perform	"	we	have	the	right	to	fight	for	democracy	.	"	another	scene	shows	us	how	,	with	modern	editing	equipment	,	an	actress	running	across	a	sound	stage	with	a	bag	of	potato	chips	can	be	turned	into	a	frightened	young	girl	and	her	kitten	fleeing	a	terrorist	attack	on	her	village	.	the	most	consistently	effective	gag	revolves	around	the	propaganda	team's	attempt	to	forge	a	fictional	war	hero	out	of	sgt	.	william	"	old	shoe	"	schumann	(	woody	harrelson	)	,	an	ex	military	officer	who	turns	out	to	be	a	first	class	psycho	.	of	course	,	not	everything	goes	as	planned	;	the	cia	,	for	example	,	realizes	what's	going	on	and	strikes	a	deal	with	the	president's	electoral	opponent	to	report	to	the	media	that	the	"	fighting	"	has	ended	,	forcing	motss	and	brean	to	come	up	with	a	new	angle	on	the	supposed	albanian	crisis	.	still	,	even	with	the	cia's	involvement	,	the	film	falls	a	little	short	in	terms	of	making	this	scenario	believable	.	regardless	of	the	official	word	from	the	president	or	the	cia	,	wouldn't	the	major	media	outlets	have	eastern	european	correspondents	who	could	verify	that	there	is	,	in	fact	,	no	fighting	going	on	in	albania	?	the	film	never	addresses	this	question	,	nor	does	it	show	the	reactions	of	the	american	public	to	the	news	of	the	apparent	war	except	for	a	few	scenes	which	border	on	the	farcical	,	such	as	when	basketball	fans	litter	the	court	with	shoes	in	support	of	the	aforementioned	sgt	.	schumann	;	we	are	apparently	meant	to	assume	that	everyone	is	buying	it	.	there	was	also	an	instance	,	towards	the	end	of	the	film	,	in	which	one	of	motss's	forced	reinventions	of	the	story	seems	to	contradict	what	he	and	brean	had	been	selling	to	the	public	thus	far	and	could	conceivably	have	given	the	game	away	.	with	these	plot	holes	,	"	wag	the	dog	"	doesn't	quite	work	as	a	satire	of	american	politics	,	but	it	does	send	up	the	mentality	that	might	lead	to	these	kinds	of	machinations	in	the	first	place	.	brean	and	his	advisors	never	seem	concerned	that	what	they	are	doing	is	unethical	;	rather	,	they	worry	about	how	convincing	it	will	be	and	whether	or	not	they	have	enough	money	to	pull	it	off	.	the	film	takes	a	decidely	dark	turn	towards	the	end	,	as	we	learn	how	far	they	are	willing	to	go	in	order	to	keep	the	propaganda	campaign	a	secret	.	motss	and	his	hollywood	buddies	,	meanwhile	,	seem	completely	out	of	touch	with	the	rest	of	the	world	and	just	see	this	undertaking	as	another	creative	project	.	in	fact	,	one	of	the	sources	of	conflict	in	the	film	is	motss's	increasing	restlessness	with	the	idea	of	not	being	able	to	take	credit	for	producing	the	fake	war	;	in	his	mind	,	it	is	the	greatest	work	of	art	he	has	ever	created	.	i	think	it's	fair	to	say	that	"	wag	the	dog	"	underachieves	a	little	bit	:	more	attention	to	the	public	reaction	and	tighter	plotting	might	have	made	this	into	a	four	star	film	and	a	classic	satire	.	still	,	the	issue	of	an	american	president	using	war	and	patriotism	to	distract	from	scandals	or	domestic	unpopularity	is	a	very	real	one	.	wag	the	dog	takes	the	issue	one	step	further	and	asks	,	what	if	the	war	wasn't	even	real	?	with	this	premise	and	the	talented	cast	,	the	film	still	delivers	more	consistently	than	most	,	whatever	its	flaws	.
pos	directed	by	david	lynch	.	screenplay	by	john	roach	and	mary	sweeney	.	starring	richard	farnsworth	,	sissy	spacek	,	james	cada	.	running	time	:	106	minutes	.	rated	pg	(	mfcb	)	.	reviewed	on	april	24th	,	2000	.	"	the	straight	story	"	tells	a	tale	that	would	seem	too	far	fetched	to	be	believed	if	it	hadn't	actually	happened	.	based	on	true	events	from	the	summer	of	1994	,	director	david	lynch's	newest	film	is	an	unusual	choice	of	project	for	the	man	behind	sometimes	baffling	fare	like	"	twin	peaks	"	and	"	lost	highway	"	.	but	"	the	straight	story	"	is	pleasant	and	engrossing	,	and	is	also	a	rare	motion	picture	that	dares	not	only	to	feature	a	largely	elderly	cast	,	but	also	to	treat	them	with	considerable	respect	.	alvin	straight	(	richard	farnsworth	)	is	73	years	old	,	a	world	war	ii	veteran	who	has	seen	better	days	.	his	hips	are	giving	out	on	him	and	his	emphysema	is	getting	worse	.	he	lives	with	his	daughter	rose	(	sissy	spacek	)	,	who	is	mildly	retarded	but	bright	enough	in	her	own	way	.	one	stormy	night	,	alvin	learns	from	a	relative	that	his	brother	lyle	has	suffered	a	stroke	.	alvin	and	lyle	were	once	as	close	as	brothers	could	be	,	but	they	had	a	falling	out	ten	years	earlier	and	haven't	spoken	since	.	desperately	aware	of	both	lyle's	mortality	and	his	own	,	alvin	decides	he	has	to	make	the	journey	from	his	home	in	laurens	,	iowa	to	lyle's	place	in	mount	zion	,	wisconsin	.	neither	alvin	nor	rose	have	a	driver's	license	,	and	alvin	is	too	proud	to	ask	anyone	else	for	help	.	so	alvin	decides	to	hitch	a	trailer	up	to	his	battered	old	riding	lawnmower	and	set	out	for	wisconsin	,	travelling	no	more	than	five	or	ten	miles	a	day	.	his	lawnmower	soon	breaks	down	,	but	alvin	is	not	swayed	:	he	trades	it	in	and	uses	the	last	of	his	money	to	buy	a	1966	john	deere	mower	,	then	starts	the	journey	all	over	again	.	alvin's	slow	voyage	from	iowa	to	wisconsin	provides	the	framework	around	which	the	bulk	of	the	movie	is	built	.	as	is	often	the	case	in	these	sorts	of	films	,	the	destination	here	is	not	nearly	as	important	as	what	happens	en	route	.	(	indeed	,	the	ending	of	"	the	straight	story	"	is	a	beautifully	underplayed	scene	,	a	real	lesson	in	minimality	that	demonstrates	lynch's	trust	in	his	audience	.	)	"	the	straight	story	"	is	"	the	odyssey	"	writ	small	,	with	alvin	trundling	from	episode	to	episode	like	a	wrinkly	old	odysseus	.	none	of	these	little	stories	are	particularly	fascinating	,	but	put	together	they	form	a	touching	mosaic	.	it	is	through	these	chance	encounters	that	alvin's	character	is	most	fully	illuminated	and	,	moreover	,	that	we	are	afforded	a	glimpse	of	the	effect	his	passage	has	on	others	.	some	of	these	meetings	are	funny	.	alvin	witnesses	a	collision	between	a	car	and	a	deer	,	and	learns	that	the	driver	(	barbara	e	robertson	)	has	killed	more	than	a	dozen	of	the	creatures	along	that	stretch	of	highway	in	the	past	six	weeks	.	the	problem	is	that	she	has	to	drive	that	route	,	back	and	forth	every	day	,	to	get	to	work	.	beyond	quitting	her	job	or	moving	,	she	simply	has	no	other	choice	.	"	and	i	love	deer	!	"	she	wails	.	other	meetings	are	more	serious	.	alvin	is	nearly	killed	when	he	loses	his	brakes	going	down	a	steep	hill	.	shaken	up	and	out	of	money	until	his	next	welfare	cheque	comes	in	,	he	is	taken	in	by	danny	and	darla	riordan	(	james	cada	and	sally	wingert	)	.	the	riordans'	friend	verlyn	heller	(	wiley	harker	)	is	a	wwii	veteran	like	alvin	,	and	one	day	at	the	local	tavern	the	two	share	stories	of	the	horrors	of	war	.	this	is	a	beautifully	acted	sequence	and	again	,	lynch	shows	faith	in	his	viewers	by	leaving	it	static	and	quiet	so	that	the	audience	can	conjure	in	their	own	minds	the	scenes	that	alvin	and	verlyn	relate	.	as	alvin	,	farnsworth	does	a	very	good	job	in	an	academy	award	nominated	performance	.	he	gives	the	character	considerable	depth	;	his	delivery	in	sequences	like	the	aforementioned	tavern	scene	are	tinged	with	a	lifetime	of	emotions	.	the	only	real	drawback	to	the	role	and	the	same	could	be	said	of	"	the	straight	story	"	as	a	whole	is	that	alvin	comes	across	as	just	a	little	too	sweet	,	too	coy	.	although	the	very	fact	that	he	chose	to	endure	the	six	week	journey	is	indicative	of	alvin's	character	,	i	found	it	difficult	to	believe	that	he	could	really	be	so	cherubic	(	and	indeed	,	reports	suggest	that	the	real	alvin	straight	,	who	died	in	1996	,	was	not	quite	as	lovable	as	the	movie	implies	)	.	i	don't	think	viewer	sympathy	would	have	been	lost	by	giving	alvin	a	bit	more	of	an	edge	,	and	i	think	it	would	have	made	him	generally	better	rounded	.	none	of	the	other	actors	have	substantial	screen	time	,	but	there	is	not	a	poor	performance	in	the	entire	movie	.	lynch	is	successful	in	coaxing	just	the	right	note	out	of	all	his	cast	,	be	it	dramatic	or	comedic	.	like	stanley	kubrick	in	"	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	"	,	lynch	successfully	conveys	the	lethargic	pace	of	alvin's	trip	.	there	are	long	periods	consisting	of	nothing	but	shots	of	iowa	farmland	,	for	instance	,	and	more	than	once	the	camera	pans	up	from	alvin	to	the	blue	summer	sky	in	a	traditional	passage	of	time	shot	,	only	to	pan	down	again	to	show	him	just	a	few	yards	further	along	.	this	may	induce	boredom	in	some	viewers	,	but	for	the	most	part	i	felt	lynch	handled	such	scenes	judiciously	.	they	go	on	long	enough	to	achieve	their	intended	effect	,	but	not	so	long	that	i	began	glancing	at	my	wristwatch	.	the	fact	that	these	sequences	are	accompanied	by	gorgeous	fiddle	music	composed	by	lynch's	frequent	collaborator	angelo	badalamenti	doesn't	hurt	,	either	.	quiet	,	unassuming	,	gentle	,	endearing	,	"	the	straight	story	"	is	a	delightful	film	.	here	is	a	testimony	not	just	to	the	principle	that	truth	is	stranger	than	fiction	,	and	not	just	to	one	man's	character	and	determination	,	but	also	to	the	innumerable	little	stories	that	are	out	there	,	just	down	the	road	,	waiting	to	be	discovered	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	thestraightstory	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	thestraightstory	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	morgan	.	ucs	.	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	morgan	.	ucs	.	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
pos	the	happy	bastard's	quick	movie	reviewhow	does	one	do	a	comedy	focused	on	the	mob	?	well	,	a	few	years	ago	,	there	was	a	sly	little	comedy	called	the	freshman	,	which	had	marlon	brando	doing	a	romp	of	a	send	up	of	his	famous	don	corleone	character	and	,	recently	,	the	utterly	stupid	(	in	a	bad	way	)	movie	mafia	!	failed	to	really	get	the	joke	.	this	time	around	,	however	,	warner	bros	.	may	have	gotten	it	right	with	analyze	this	,	a	movie	that	hits	its	targets	more	than	it	misses	.	.	.	and	for	plenty	of	reasons	.	the	story	goes	like	this	.	a	mobster	(	robert	deniro	)	finds	himself	receiving	several	panic	attacks	as	of	late	,	fueled	by	the	stress	of	an	upcoming	mobster	meeting	and	a	near	death	following	a	drive	by	shooting	.	it's	these	attacks	that	prompt	him	to	hire	a	psychiatrist	(	billy	crystal	)	who's	mostly	reluctant	to	take	the	mobster's	case	for	two	reasons	.	first	,	of	course	,	he's	a	mobster	,	but	secondly	,	he's	trying	to	get	married	and	enjoy	a	quiet	honeymoon	with	his	wife	(	lisa	kudrow	)	and	kid	.	and	,	of	course	,	he	can't	rest	worth	for	a	moment	because	the	mobster's	goons	are	always	needing	the	shrink	for	something	,	be	it	a	quick	consultation	or	dream	analyzation	.	fortunately	,	the	movie	is	played	out	for	plenty	of	laughs	.	director	harold	ramis	(	who	also	helmed	the	comedy	multiplicity	,	which	wasn't	half	bad	)	keeps	the	tone	peppy	and	light	,	even	if	it's	sometimes	sprinkled	by	slight	dramatic	moments	(	shootings	can't	always	be	taken	for	laughs	,	you	know	)	.	deniro	does	some	of	his	finest	comic	work	since	the	king	of	comedy	,	giving	off	a	somewhat	similar	performance	to	his	role	in	goodfellas	,	but	with	a	bit	of	a	lighter	heart	.	(	a	scene	where	he	tries	to	display	his	anger	over	the	phone	and	fails	miserably	is	hilarious	.	)	crystal	plays	an	excellent	straight	man	to	deniro's	character	,	uplifting	him	from	such	bombs	as	father's	day	and	my	giant	.	kudrow	is	also	a	hoot	as	crystal's	wife	to	be	,	who's	on	the	verge	of	a	breakdown	thanks	to	deniro's	presence	.	is	the	movie	perfect	?	not	really	,	thanks	to	a	simplistic	ending	and	some	slightly	wasted	moments	with	a	character	portrayed	by	chazz	palminteri	(	he's	a	comic	actor	,	too	,	come	on	,	give	him	some	more	!	)	,	but	it	is	an	enjoyable	romp	that	lets	deniro	do	something	different	but	same	for	a	change	,	taking	his	dramatic	act	to	a	new	field	of	comedy	.	kudos	to	crystal	and	kudrow	for	not	just	making	it	his	show	,	either	.	line	of	the	movie	:	crystal	:	"	when	you	said	you	needed	family	therapy	,	this	is	not	the	family	i	had	in	mind	!	"
pos	starring	:	(	voices	of	)	tom	hanks	,	tim	allen	,	joan	cusack	,	kelsey	grammer	,	wallace	shawn	,	jim	varney	,	john	ratzenberger	,	don	rickles	,	wayne	knight	director	:	john	lasseter	(	co	directed	by	ash	brannon	lee	unkrich	)	written	by	:	john	lasseter	,	peter	docter	,	ash	brannon	,	andrew	stanton	way	back	in	1995	(	just	slightly	more	recent	than	the	dark	ages	in	computer	graphics	terms	)	,	pixar	animation	studios	unveiled	the	first	toy	story	.	it	was	a	technological	and	visual	wonder	,	the	first	ever	completely	computer	animated	feature	film	.	more	importantly	to	distributor	disney	,	it	became	the	third	highest	grossing	animated	movie	ever	.	four	years	later	,	we	have	george	lucas	pioneering	the	idea	of	"	synthespians	"	with	a	certain	floppy	eared	pariah	.	fortunately	,	we	also	have	toy	story	2	,	that	rarest	of	sequels	that	outranks	the	original	in	every	way	(	except	,	of	course	,	originality	,	but	in	this	case	that's	no	big	deal	.	)	this	time	,	buzz	lightyear	has	to	lead	his	owner	andy's	other	toys	on	a	danger	fraught	adventure	to	rescue	the	old	cowboy	doll	woody	,	who	has	inadvertently	fallen	into	the	greedy	clutches	of	a	toy	collector	.	the	plot	thickens	when	woody	meets	the	other	members	of	his	'complete	set'	(	including	a	felt	horse	,	a	feisty	cowgirl	,	and	stinky	pete	,	a	grizzled	old	prospector	still	mint	in	the	box	)	in	the	collector's	office	and	realizes	he's	a	valuable	part	of	toy	history	.	woody	has	to	choose	either	his	owner	and	friends	,	or	a	permanent	place	of	honor	in	a	japanese	museum	with	his	new	family	.	while	the	resolution	of	this	dilemma	may	be	somewhat	more	obvious	to	older	audience	members	than	kids	,	getting	there	is	no	less	fun	.	the	movie	is	liberally	sprinkled	with	clever	in	jokes	(	the	chess	playing	geezer	from	pixar's	oscar	winning	short	'geri's	game'	shows	up	in	a	cameo	)	,	referential	gags	(	post	sputnik	'space	toys'	are	derided	,	and	the	riffs	on	star	wars	happen	early	and	often	)	,	and	hilarious	one	liners	that	will	fly	right	over	the	heads	of	the	sprogs	while	getting	big	laughs	from	their	parents	.	better	still	,	disney's	recent	trend	away	from	musical	numbers	has	left	toy	story	2	with	only	two	:	a	lovely	but	depressing	sarah	mclachlan	tear	jerker	and	a	rehash	of	randy	newman's	"	you've	got	a	friend	in	me	"	from	the	first	film	.	in	both	cases	,	the	songs	become	critical	plot	points	instead	of	momentum	killing	distractions	.	obviously	,	the	computer	graphics	are	much	improved	(	check	out	the	trees	and	the	family	dog's	highly	realistic	coat	)	,	but	the	truly	remarkable	achievement	is	that	after	a	while	,	you	stop	noticing	them	and	focus	instead	on	the	characters	.	much	of	the	first	film's	look	at	me	graphic	wizardry	has	evolved	into	more	stylish	and	effective	imagery	.	like	the	french	impressionists	they	subtly	mention	in	the	film	,	pixar's	army	of	programmers	,	animators	,	and	renderers	may	one	day	be	regarded	as	the	first	and	finest	examples	of	a	new	kind	of	artist	.	one	quickly	gets	the	sense	watching	this	movie	that	lasseter	and	his	gang	have	never	stopped	playing	with	their	toys	.	in	their	world	,	a	toy	doesn't	come	to	life	until	a	child	plays	with	it	.	collectors	,	with	their	glass	displays	and	hermetically	sealed	imaginations	,	are	the	enemy	.	in	the	real	world	of	ebay	bidding	wars	and	pokemon	extortion	,	that's	a	fine	message	indeed	,	and	toy	story	2	delivers	it	with	matchless	creativity	and	invention	.	it'll	make	you	wonder	whether	all	those	toys	you	loved	as	a	kid	miss	you	as	much	as	you	miss	them	.
pos	cast	:	paul	campbell	,	mark	danvers	,	carl	bradshaw	,	audrey	reid	,	winston	bell	,	lenford	salmon	,	desmond	ballentine	(	a	.	k	.	a	.	ninjaman	)	written	by	:	suzanne	fenn	,	chris	browne	,	and	chris	salewicz	directed	by	:	chris	browne	running	time	:	98	minutes	we	run	tings	.	tings	don't	run	we	.	'	sound	advice	from	capone	(	paul	campbell	)	to	his	squaddie	(	or	partner	)	,	floyd	(	winston	bell	)	.	jamaican	film	,	shot	entirely	on	video	,	featuring	a	standard	cop	movie	plot	mixed	with	a	dash	of	john	woo	styled	brotherhood	morals	(	and	a	little	gunplay	)	.	capone	,	a	tough	as	nails	super	cop	,	gets	a	transfer	back	to	his	hometown	of	kingston	after	successfully	taking	down	some	gangsters	that	have	broken	into	his	home	(	while	he	was	with	his	lady	)	and	killed	his	partner	in	front	of	him	.	when	he	arrives	,	he	discovers	that	the	ghetto	where	he	grew	up	has	gotten	worse	,	thanks	mainly	to	the	crime	boss	wonie	(	jamaican	film	veteran	carl	bradshaw	)	,	so	named	because	his	left	hand	has	been	amputated	and	replaced	by	a	grasping	hook	)	.	capone	discovers	that	wonie	has	been	smuggling	guns	inside	shipments	of	charity	supplies	for	the	area	churches	and	,	much	to	his	disappointment	,	also	finds	out	his	childhood	friend	ratty	(	mark	danvers	)	has	been	helping	him	.	torn	between	doing	his	job	and	protecting	his	best	friend	,	capone	must	make	some	hard	decisions	in	order	to	make	things	right	again	.	directed	deftly	by	first	time	jamaican	filmmaker	chris	browne	(	assistant	director	for	such	american	films	as	how	stella	got	her	groove	back	and	instinct	)	,	one	hardly	notices	the	film	was	shot	on	video	after	a	while	.	shots	are	handled	so	efficiently	that	they	quickly	take	on	the	nuances	of	the	aforementioned	john	woo	films	,	although	the	action	isn't	as	hyperkinetic	as	most	of	woo's	films	are	.	the	action	scenes	are	handled	with	a	kind	of	flair	though	,	and	eventually	begin	to	take	on	a	life	of	their	own	(	beyond	the	hong	kong	films	that	they	are	obviously	patterned	after	)	.	the	make	up	effects	are	particularly	good	in	these	scenes	as	well	,	with	flawless	squib	work	on	display	from	the	effects	team	.	the	cast	is	superb	and	listening	to	their	dialogue	,	spoken	with	thick	jamaican	accents	(	half	of	which	have	to	be	subtitled	because	of	their	extensive	use	of	slang	)	,	just	adds	to	the	interest	.	paul	campbell	,	as	the	loose	cannon'	capone	,	essays	his	role	perfectly	,	displaying	the	right	amount	of	menace	and	compassion	at	the	right	times	.	mark	danvers	evokes	sympathy	as	ratty	,	the	part	time	gun	smuggler	who	is	also	trying	to	help	the	community	by	building	football	fields	and	organizing	block	parties	to	bring	people	together	.	unfortunately	,	carl	bradshaw	is	given	the	least	to	do	and	his	character	as	the	crime	boss	seems	ineffective	(	largely	because	his	underlings	seem	to	run	all	over	him	)	,	but	then	again	,	that	could	be	the	way	his	character	was	intended	to	be	portrayed	.	the	music	in	the	film	is	composed	of	all	reggae	songs	,	and	the	soundtrack	was	produced	by	grammy	award	winning	artists	,	sly	and	robbie	(	who	have	worked	with	the	likes	of	the	rolling	stones	,	maxi	priest	,	bob	dylan	,	james	brown	,	grace	jones	,	herbie	hancock	,	bootsy	collins	,	and	carly	simon	among	others	)	.	the	end	credit	song	,	we	run	tings'	,	by	the	group	red	dragon	,	is	pretty	decent	and	carries	on	the	theme	of	the	movie	established	early	on	by	the	quote	that	opens	this	review	.	oddly	enough	,	desmond	ballentine	(	who	plays	the	character	deportee	)	is	well	known	as	a	pioneer	in	the	realm	of	gangsta'	reggae	as	the	performer	ninjaman	,	and	he	doesn't	contribute	a	single	song	to	the	film	(	that	i	could	see	)	,	which	is	virtually	unheard	of	here	in	the	us	.	at	the	time	of	this	writing	,	third	world	cop	has	been	put	into	limited	theatrical	release	in	the	us	,	coming	off	of	a	six	month	box	office	breaking	run	in	jamaica	,	where	it	holds	the	position	as	highest	grossing	film	of	all	time	(	bringing	in	21	million	in	jamaica	,	which	is	roughly	500	,	000	us	)	.	palm	pictures	(	the	company	that	released	the	offbeat	,	but	entertaining	six	string	samurai	)	is	the	company	releasing	the	film	and	considering	that	their	main	focus	is	the	dvd	market	,	i	can	imagine	that	a	disc	will	be	available	once	the	film	has	left	theaters	.	chris	blackwell	,	founder	of	palm	pictures	,	was	also	involved	in	the	production	of	another	jamaican	box	office	smash	in	1981	entitled	countryman	,	so	i'd	say	he	has	a	pretty	good	track	record	.	overall	,	third	world	cop	is	a	pretty	entertaining	homage	to	the	films	of	john	woo	,	ringo	lam	,	tsui	hark	,	and	many	other	action	films	by	directors	from	hong	kong	.	if	action	films	are	your	thing	and	you	don't	mind	intermittent	subtitles	,	then	you	can't	go	wrong	with	this	film	.	the	performances	and	the	story	are	solid	(	if	only	a	little	cliched	)	and	the	action	is	tight	.	i'm	not	sure	what	the	other	jamaican	films	released	in	that	country	are	like	,	but	apparently	third	world	cop's	honors	are	well	deserved	.	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	as	the	film	opens	up	,	expectant	unwed	mother	sally	(	played	by	drew	barrymore	)	encounters	her	baby's	father	in	a	fast	food	drive	through	window	.	after	he	gets	his	milkshake	,	he	drives	off	,	only	to	be	pursued	by	a	military	helicopter	.	from	this	moment	forward	,	you	know	that	this	isn't	going	to	be	your	run	of	the	mill	romantic	comedy	.	home	fries	tells	the	tale	of	the	relationship	between	sally	and	dorian	(	played	by	luke	wilson	)	,	a	helicopter	pilot	who	has	a	different	kind	of	connection	with	sally	.	.	.	more	than	he	would	care	to	admit	(	hint	:	it	has	something	to	do	with	the	father	of	sally's	unborn	child	)	.	after	taking	a	personal	(	and	professional	)	interest	in	her	,	he	finds	work	at	the	local	fast	food	restaurant	at	which	she	works	,	and	the	fun	goes	on	from	there	.	this	movie	is	a	lot	of	fun	.	it	is	comedic	on	two	levels	,	as	a	romantic	comedy	and	a	dark	comedy	.	the	romantic	moments	are	sweet	,	yet	not	sappy	.	one	of	the	more	poignant	moments	is	when	dorian	accompanies	sally	to	lamaze	classes	.	however	,	the	dark	comedic	moments	are	more	memorable	.	this	is	also	a	tale	of	revenge	,	and	a	funny	one	at	that	.	the	father	of	sally's	unborn	child	also	happened	to	be	a	married	man	,	whose	wife	is	played	by	catherine	o'hara	.	she	does	a	wonderful	portrayal	of	a	jealous	wife	who	is	targeting	the	person	who	had	an	affair	,	and	is	not	above	getting	other	people	to	do	her	dirty	work	.	(	my	apologies	if	this	sounds	cryptic	,	but	there	is	too	much	of	the	plot	to	give	away	)	.	rounding	out	the	cast	are	jake	busey	as	angus	,	dorian's	overzealous	brother	and	daryl	mitchell	as	roy	,	dorian's	trainer	at	the	fast	food	restaurant	.	the	dialogue	is	sharp	and	not	filled	with	sappy	overtones	,	even	with	the	romantic	nature	of	the	plot	.	if	there	are	any	complaints	,	it	is	over	drew	barrymore's	performance	.	while	she	does	light	up	the	screen	,	there	are	moments	when	she	doesn't	seem	all	that	convincing	.	the	movie	was	filmed	in	texas	,	and	most	of	the	characters	have	southern	texan	accents	.	drew	barrymore's	accent	tends	to	come	and	go	(	luke	wilson	doesn't	seem	to	have	this	problem	)	.	as	well	,	she	seems	awfully	agile	for	a	woman	that	is	eight	months	pregnant	.	still	,	this	movie	is	one	that	will	please	many	viewers	.	with	plot	twists	galore	and	hilarious	dark	moments	,	this	is	sure	to	entertain	.
pos	starring	campbell	scott	,	rebecca	pidgeon	,	steve	martin	,	ricky	jay	,	ben	gazzara	,	and	felicity	huffman	.	i	was	originally	going	to	give	the	spanish	prisoner	two	and	half	stars	.	from	my	first	viewing	,	i	noticed	that	david	mamet's	film	was	intense	and	clever	at	times	but	boring	and	cliched	at	other	times	especially	at	the	beginning	.	from	my	second	viewing	however	,	i	noticed	that	mamet's	script	was	actually	a	masterpiece	.	the	spanish	prisoner	,	like	the	usual	suspects	or	chinatown	,	begs	for	the	viewer's	complete	attention	.	miss	a	scene	or	even	a	small	detail	,	and	you	could	miss	the	meaning	of	the	entire	film	.	also	like	the	aforementioned	films	,	it	rewards	its	viewer	for	paying	attention	by	delivering	a	surprising	and	memorable	ending	.	mamet	is	success	doing	again	what	he	once	tackled	in	1987	when	he	wrote	and	directed	house	of	games	.	like	his	past	gem	,	the	spanish	prisoner	fools	the	audience	as	much	(	or	even	more	)	than	the	victim	.	because	we	were	deceived	just	like	the	victim	,	we	feel	a	strong	attachment	to	the	main	character	and	consequently	are	more	interested	in	the	film	.	mamet	has	the	talent	of	not	completely	ending	a	film	gift	wrapped	,	but	rather	leaving	some	ambiguity	towards	the	end	.	the	power	that	he	has	in	forcing	the	viewer	to	determine	who	the	good	guys	and	bad	guys	are	once	the	film	is	over	,	without	giving	a	right	answer	,	is	unique	and	ingenious	.	the	spanish	prisoner	will	leave	you	seriously	puzzled	and	intrigued	.	after	seeing	the	film	again	,	i	noticed	that	the	details	mamet	uses	are	so	incredibly	accurate	it	is	frightening	.	his	direction	is	very	subtle	;	as	he	leaves	so	many	clues	explaining	what	is	going	on	and	who	is	who	but	it	is	still	very	difficult	to	tell	what	exactly	is	happening	even	if	you	see	all	of	them	,	or	think	you	see	all	of	them	.	the	story	follows	a	young	up	and	coming	businessman	,	joe	ross	,	(	campbell	scott	)	who	has	just	created	a	mysterious	and	lucrative	"	process	"	that	everyone	is	trying	to	get	their	hands	on	.	soon	ross	does	not	know	who	he	can	trust	or	who	is	after	his	"	process	.	"	through	his	journey	ross	meets	a	number	of	mysterious	characters	:	the	rich	and	popular	jimmy	dell	,	a	secretary	who	has	a	huge	crush	on	ross	,	and	ross'	boss	mr	.	klein	.	played	by	steve	martin	,	rebecca	pidgeon	,	and	ben	gazarra	respectively	,	the	supporting	cast	is	very	solid	especially	martin	,	who	deserved	an	oscar	nomination	for	his	commanding	and	manipulative	role	.	the	most	interesting	character	in	the	film	,	though	,	was	campbell	scott's	joe	ross	.	the	character's	transformation	from	an	ingenuous	and	polite	rookie	to	a	paranoid	veteran	is	very	apparent	and	justifiable	.	david	mamet's	script	is	so	interesting	because	we	know	people	don't	actually	talk	like	the	characters	in	the	film	,	yet	we	feel	so	connected	to	some	of	them	.	his	beguiling	style	could	fool	any	viewer	up	for	the	challenge	.	this	is	a	must	see	,	for	those	interested	in	solving	a	complex	puzzle	of	a	movie	.
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	news	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	young	man	who	loves	heavy	metal	music	and	especially	the	band	steel	dragon	,	to	whom	he's	devoted	a	tribute	band	in	which	he	sings	,	gets	launched	into	stardom	when	the	real	group	get	rid	of	their	lead	singer	and	call	on	him	to	take	his	place	.	critique	:	i'm	a	sucker	for	movies	like	this	.	a	young	man	with	a	humble	background	and	lofty	dreams	,	works	hard	,	devotes	the	time	,	the	energy	and	the	patience	,	and	ultimately	hits	it	big	time	.	in	the	case	of	this	film	,	our	boy	loves	a	certain	heavy	metal	band	and	as	luck	would	have	it	(	yup	,	luck	always	finds	its	way	into	these	types	of	equations	,	although	generally	tied	very	closely	to	hard	work	)	,	they	need	a	new	singer	.	his	entry	and	adaptation	to	the	whole	"	rock	'n	roll	"	lifestyle	fills	the	rest	of	the	film	and	is	really	fun	to	watch	.	although	i	will	preface	this	by	saying	that	one	thing	that	would	definitely	enhance	your	appreciation	for	this	film	is	your	own	love	(	or	past	love	)	of	heavy	metal	music	and	the	whole	scene	around	it	.	metal	was	one	of	my	first	loves	as	a	teen	and	even	though	the	genre	of	music	isn't	that	prominent	anymore	,	i	still	check	out	my	motley	crue	,	twisted	sister	and	anthrax	cds	every	now	and	again	.	that's	not	to	say	that	you	won't	like	this	film	if	you	don't	like	the	music	,	but	the	music	and	live	performances	from	the	band	,	play	a	big	part	in	the	movie	,	and	i	for	one	,	had	a	blast	watching	and	listening	to	it	all	.	but	the	even	greater	draw	in	this	film	is	the	standout	performance	given	here	by	mark	wahlberg	.	wow	,	hand	this	fella	some	major	props	,	as	he	totally	becomes	this	heavy	metal	geek	god	(	incidentally	,	metal	god	was	the	film's	original	title	,	and	a	much	better	one	if	you	ask	me	)	.	he	is	this	movie	and	i	was	quite	taken	by	his	character	pretty	much	the	whole	way	through	.	he	came	off	like	a	regular	guy	with	extremely	passionate	goals	and	work	ethic	,	who	was	willing	to	do	anything	in	order	to	fulfill	his	dreams	.	aniston	was	also	surprisingly	good	as	the	girlfriend	(	and	the	romance	angle	between	them	was	sweet	)	,	but	she	didn't	pull	me	in	hard	enough	during	their	emotional	scenes	.	i	was	also	impressed	by	some	of	the	"	real	"	musicians	who	played	in	the	film	(	zakk	wylde	from	ozzy	osbourne	,	jeff	pilson	from	dokken	,	stephan	jenkins	from	third	eye	blind	,	blas	elias	from	slaughter	)	,	but	actor	dominic	west	as	kirk	cuddy	made	the	biggest	impression	among	the	band	members	.	it's	to	note	that	this	film	was	based	on	a	real	life	tale	of	a	young	man	who	used	to	sing	in	a	judas	priest	cover	band	and	then	went	on	to	become	their	actual	singer	(	their	original	singer	also	admitted	to	being	gay	,	as	in	this	film	)	.	just	for	the	record	,	i'm	certainly	not	recommending	this	film	for	its	originality	or	surprise	elements	,	since	most	of	this	stuff	has	already	been	covered	in	some	way	or	another	in	other	movies	,	but	because	it's	a	fun	,	uplifting	,	well	paced	movie	with	a	solid	central	showing	by	wahlberg	and	energetic	live	performances	.	oh	yeah	,	and	for	those	who	dig	the	"	heavier	"	side	of	music	,	the	soundtrack	also	rocks	!	!	you	see	.	.	.	dreams	can	come	true	.	.	.	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	almost	famous	(	8	10	)	blow	(	8	10	)	boogie	nights	(	9	10	)	detroit	rock	city	(	8	10	)	girlfight	(	6	10	)	goodfellas	(	10	10	)
pos	countries	and	legal	systems	that	take	the	rule	of	law	principle	seriously	,	had	forbidden	judges	and	juries	to	make	judgements	in	all	matters	that	could	involve	them	personally	.	luckily	,	movie	reviewers	aren't	burdened	with	such	legislation	.	otherwise	,	small	pool	of	very	special	movies	would	be	forever	ignored	by	this	reviewer	.	in	case	of	star	wars	,	1977	science	fiction	epic	by	george	lucas	,	the	consequences	would	be	even	more	severe	,	because	that	film	is	very	special	for	tens	of	millions	,	if	not	hundreds	of	millions	of	fans	.	in	any	case	,	objectivity	is	something	seldom	seen	in	star	wars	reviews	,	because	undisputed	majority	of	reviewers	rate	it	as	one	of	the	best	,	if	not	the	best	film	of	all	times	.	those	who	don't	usually	have	some	difficulties	in	hiding	their	artistic	snobbery	.	the	author	of	this	review	must	also	concede	his	inability	to	use	cold	,	objective	standards	in	reviewing	this	film	.	like	so	many	previous	reviewers	,	i	must	note	that	i	watched	star	wars	for	the	first	time	twenty	years	ago	,	and	that	i	remained	enchanted	by	the	experience	ever	since	.	perhaps	it	was	childlike	fascination	with	,	until	then	unimaginable	,	wonders	that	happened	long	time	ago	,	in	a	galaxy	far	away	.	or	perhaps	it	was	the	rush	i	felt	minutes	before	the	opening	shots	,	with	my	expectations	already	pumped	up	by	serialised	comic	books	and	novelisation	i	had	read	before	.	anyway	,	watching	of	star	wars	was	one	of	the	most	important	movie	going	experiences	of	my	life	.	and	it	was	also	unmatched	for	many	years	to	come	,	because	very	few	movies	managed	to	have	such	a	strong	impact	on	me	like	george	lucas'	epic	.	star	wars	wasn't	just	important	movie	for	me	(	or	the	millions	of	fans	who	probably	share	the	same	sentiment	)	.	it	was	the	defining	moment	in	the	history	of	modern	cinema	.	until	than	,	american	motion	picture	industry	was	in	a	limbo	;	social	turmoil	in	1960s	practically	destroyed	the	old	hollywood	,	and	new	authors	filled	the	void	,	mostly	by	using	hollywood's	financial	and	technical	resources	to	create	serious	,	"	personal	"	or	"	artsy	"	movies	.	as	a	result	,	audience	,	traumatised	of	dark	reality	of	vietnam	and	watergate	,	didn't	want	to	see	the	same	dark	and	serious	content	on	the	silver	screen	.	george	lucas	with	its	science	fiction	epic	was	among	the	first	to	come	into	rescue	.	the	audience	responded	with	unprecedented	enthusiasm	,	and	huge	financial	success	of	the	movie	,	later	backed	by	supplement	industry	of	toys	,	books	,	comics	,	role	playing	games	and	other	merchandise	,	slowly	began	to	change	the	face	of	hollywood	.	serious	,	adult	movies	with	artistic	ambitions	faded	into	oblivion	,	and	were	replaced	by	industrial	products	of	"	blockbuster	"	philosophy	.	one	of	the	biggest	casualties	of	that	trend	was	the	science	fiction	movie	genre	.	until	1977	,	science	fiction	movies	were	mostly	in	b	production	domain	.	in	late	1960s	,	bigger	budgets	for	science	fiction	didn't	look	so	strange	anymore	,	thanks	to	the	great	success	of	2001	:	a	space	odyssey	.	but	the	same	success	coincided	with	the	surge	of	pesimism	,	and	hollywood	science	fiction	was	as	bleak	as	the	rest	of	its	production	mostly	dark	,	dystopic	movies	.	however	,	in	1977	star	wars	showed	once	and	for	all	that	this	genre	can	be	inspiration	for	popular	movies	,	even	among	the	audience	that	usually	doesn't	like	it	.	as	a	result	,	seriousness	in	cinematic	science	fiction	began	fading	away	,	although	some	good	,	dark	and	cult	quality	sf	and	continued	to	be	filmed	until	early	1980s	.	after	that	,	science	fiction	continued	to	be	considered	a	synonym	for	family	entertainment	.	ironically	,	the	man	responsible	for	star	wars	was	in	its	time	considered	to	be	member	of	"	new	hollywood	"	generation	of	young	movie	authors	who	made	"	artsy	"	and	"	personal	"	films	in	early	1970s	.	george	lucas	established	himself	with	the	dystopic	sf	movie	thx	1138	,	and	nostalgic	drama	american	graffiti	.	both	movies	were	considered	"	personal	"	in	its	time	,	despite	latter	one	becoming	very	popular	.	in	a	sense	,	star	wars	is	an	also	very	"	personal	"	film	,	and	the	thorny	way	to	the	final	production	shows	that	commercial	considerations	were	against	it	,	not	for	it	.	but	unlike	many	"	personal	"	movies	of	the	era	,	its	"	personality	"	was	in	line	with	the	wishes	of	the	general	audience	.	the	plot	,	set	"	a	long	time	ago	,	in	a	galaxy	far	away	"	,	begins	in	a	time	of	civil	war	.	the	evil	empire	is	threatened	by	rebels	who	want	to	restore	the	old	republic	.	in	order	to	quash	any	opposition	,	the	empire	had	built	death	star	,	superweapon	powerful	enough	to	destroy	whole	planets	.	the	information	about	death	star	,	acquired	by	rebel	intelligence	,	is	being	transported	by	princess	leia	organa	(	carrie	fisher	)	when	her	ship	gets	intercepted	by	imperial	cruiser	.	princess	is	arrested	by	imperial	warlord	darth	vader	(	played	by	david	prowse	and	voice	by	james	earl	jones	)	,	but	the	information	is	being	sent	to	nearby	desert	planet	of	tatooine	via	two	humanoid	robots	c3po	(	anthony	daniels	)	and	r2d2	(	kenny	baker	)	.	those	two	robots	are	sold	to	the	family	of	luke	skywalker	(	mark	hamill	)	,	young	restless	man	who	wants	to	leave	his	farm	and	become	space	pilot	.	his	adventure	begins	when	r2d2	escapes	,	because	the	information	must	reach	mysterious	local	hermit	obi	wan	kenobi	(	alec	guiness	)	.	old	man	is	actually	the	last	surviving	jedi	knight	,	member	of	the	ancient	order	that	defended	republic	through	the	use	of	mystical	force	.	after	some	hesitation	,	luke	agrees	to	join	obi	wan	in	his	mission	to	save	the	princess	,	while	the	old	man	would	teach	him	the	ways	of	the	force	.	their	small	band	comes	to	the	colourful	spaceport	of	moss	eisely	,	where	they	hire	the	spaceship	owned	by	rogue	pilot	han	solo	(	harrison	ford	)	and	his	furry	sidekick	chewbacca	(	peter	mayhew	)	.	critics	who	don't	like	the	movie	,	especially	those	who	can't	forgive	lucas	for	his	contribution	to	the	quashing	of	"	new	hollywood	"	,	are	prone	to	point	the	lack	of	originality	.	on	the	surface	,	they	might	be	right	;	lucas	himself	admits	that	he	found	a	lot	of	inspiration	in	the	lore	of	old	hollywood	westerns	,	wwii	aviation	movies	,	old	sf	cliffhanger	serials	of	the	1930s	and	1940s	;	yet	the	most	obvious	element	would	be	akira	kurosawa's	samurai	classic	the	hidden	fortress	.	on	the	other	hand	,	those	who	had	spent	last	two	decades	studying	the	movie	to	death	would	say	that	the	inspiration	for	star	wars	went	even	further	into	collective	subconscious	of	western	civilisation	(	hinted	by	some	mild	tolkien	references	)	.	the	others	would	find	the	author's	element	within	the	story	star	wars	could	be	seen	as	an	anti	establishment	film	;	young	,	long	haired	,	easy	going	,	nature	loving	heroes	are	fighting	against	old	,	uptight	and	oppressive	forces	who	use	supertechnology	in	most	demonic	purposes	.	even	out	of	its	historical	or	social	context	,	star	wars	is	an	impressive	as	a	strictly	technical	piece	of	the	seven	art	.	george	lucas'	direction	is	very	good	,	with	the	clever	editing	and	a	well	paced	segments	between	action	and	dramatic	buildup	.	characters	are	well	drawn	and	deliver	all	the	necessary	ingredients	,	both	for	the	space	opera	and	hollywood	blockbuster	.	we	have	a	"	coming	of	age	"	hero	,	damsel	in	distress	(	somewhat	toned	down	due	to	the	popular	feminist	trends	of	the	time	)	,	reluctant	helper	,	benevolent	mentor	,	diabolical	villain	and	,	finally	,	comic	relief	in	form	of	two	non	human	characters	.	some	of	the	actors	are	very	good	alec	guiness	in	his	most	famous	role	to	date	,	james	earl	jones	whose	voice	is	enough	to	cause	unease	,	peter	cushing	as	an	incarnation	of	pure	evil	in	human	form	.	unfortunately	,	the	same	can't	be	said	for	the	main	leads	among	the	main	trio	of	mark	hamill	,	carrie	fisher	and	harrison	ford	,	only	the	last	one	had	the	character	three	dimensional	enough	to	launch	his	further	acting	career	.	the	thing	that	looked	like	the	most	important	segment	of	star	wars	phenomena	during	its	initial	release	was	the	new	level	of	special	effects	technology	.	often	comparisons	with	2001	:	space	odyssey	,	another	ground	breaking	sf	film	,	were	citing	the	sheer	number	of	effects	as	a	proof	of	the	lucas'	superiority	over	kubrick	.	however	,	the	special	effects	by	john	dykstra	and	john	stears	are	indeed	impressive	,	even	after	two	decades	(	although	1997	special	edition	did	improve	them	significantly	)	,	yet	they	aren't	the	most	remembered	trademark	of	the	movie	.	that	honour	should	definitely	go	to	the	"	oscar	"	winning	soundtrack	by	john	williams	,	whose	work	on	star	wars	is	probably	the	brightest	gem	in	his	brilliant	career	.	newer	generations	of	viewers	might	be	somewhat	deprived	of	the	enchantment	that	still	holds	those	lucky	enough	to	witness	star	wars	original	release	.	yet	,	even	if	they	are	immune	to	the	george	lucas'	magic	they	should	watch	this	film	nevertheless	,	perhaps	only	to	become	familiar	with	something	that	is	essential	part	of	contemporary	culture	.
pos	dimension	2	:	00	1997	r	(	gore	,	violence	,	language	)	cast	:	neve	campbell	;	courteney	cox	;	david	arquette	;	jamie	kennedy	;	jerry	o'connell	;	elise	neal	;	timothy	olyphant	;	liev	schreiber	;	sara	michelle	gellar	;	laurie	metcalf	;	jada	pinkett	;	omar	epps	;	lewis	arquette	;	duane	martin	;	heather	graham	;	tori	spelling	director	:	wes	craven	screenplay	:	kevin	williamson	(	dimension	films	,	"	scream	2	"	's	distributor	,	has	asked	press	to	say	extremely	little	if	anything	about	the	film's	twisty	plot	.	that's	no	easy	task	considering	the	wit	that	deserves	to	be	mentioned	here	,	but	i	will	do	my	best	to	be	vague	(	now	,	there's	a	first	)	.	)	"	the	first	one	was	good	,	but	all	the	rest	sucked	,	"	said	a	cinematically	savvy	teen	in	last	winter's	wes	craven	thriller	"	scream	,	"	her	statement	referring	to	the	films	of	the	"	nightmare	on	elm	street	"	series	but	really	putting	down	franchise	overkill	in	general	.	the	comment	certainly	carries	clout	:	for	every	truly	great	sequel	,	there	appears	to	be	a	couple	of	duds	,	making	one	wonder	if	writers	are	better	off	sticking	solely	with	fresh	ideas	.	but	like	it	or	not	,	along	comes	"	scream	2	.	"	and	believe	it	or	not	,	it's	a	doozy	a	slick	,	sinister	,	madly	subversive	good	time	at	the	movies	,	as	intent	on	sending	up	hollywood's	sequel	syndrome	as	much	as	its	prequel	poked	fun	at	slasher	conventions	.	"	scream	2	"	is	definitely	that	rare	movie	thing	a	follow	up	that	can	stand	along	side	its	original	with	pride	.	it's	been	two	years	since	a	pair	of	overzealous	horror	movie	fans	clad	in	edvard	munch	esque	get	ups	carved	their	way	through	the	young	populace	of	woodsboro	,	california	.	those	surviving	the	ordeal	have	gotten	on	with	their	lives	.	plucky	heroine	sidney	prescott	(	neve	campbell	)	is	a	drama	student	at	the	midwestern	windsor	college	;	her	pop	culture	whiz	pal	randy	meeks	(	jamie	kennedy	)	has	tagged	along	.	trash	tabloid	reporter	gale	weathers	(	courteney	cox	)	has	written	a	best	seller	based	on	their	ordeal	,	the	basis	of	which	has	been	turned	into	a	(	very	bad	)	movie	called	"	stab	.	"	and	dewey	riley	(	david	arquette	)	,	still	suffering	from	wounds	inflicted	during	"	scream	,	"	has	left	his	job	as	a	police	officer	for	a	while	.	life	is	tranquil	.	.	.	at	least	for	a	while	.	several	sudden	murders	bring	sidney	,	randy	,	gale	and	dewey	together	again	,	but	with	suspicious	eyes	cast	on	each	other	and	most	of	those	in	their	surroundings	if	these	four	people	learned	anything	from	the	past	,	it's	to	trust	no	one	.	thus	,	the	possible	victim	potential	killer	list	includes	said	quartet	,	as	well	as	:	derek	(	jerry	o'connell	)	,	sidney's	new	beau	;	cici	(	sara	michelle	gellar	)	,	a	chatty	sorority	gal	;	joel	(	duane	martin	)	,	gale's	cameraman	who's	not	too	thrilled	with	her	blood	soaked	past	;	hallie	(	elise	neal	)	,	sidney's	sassy	roommate	;	debbie	(	laurie	metcalf	)	,	a	local	reporter	who	gives	gale	some	not	too	friendly	competition	;	and	mickey	(	timothy	olyphant	)	,	randy's	good	friend	and	fellow	film	student	.	cotton	weary	(	liev	schreiber	)	,	the	man	sidney	wrongly	accused	of	her	mother's	murder	in	scream	,	also	shows	up	on	campus	but	why	?	like	the	first	scream	,	craven	and	screenwriter	kevin	williamson	inaugurate	things	with	a	bang	.	this	time	,	it's	an	extended	sequence	that	finds	an	african	american	couple	(	jada	pinkett	and	omar	epps	)	attending	a	sneak	preview	of	"	stab	,	"	making	sly	references	about	everything	from	sandra	bullock	to	the	lunchmeat	non	roles	of	blacks	in	slasher	cinema	.	before	tragedy	ensues	at	the	screening	,	the	movie	within	a	movie	setup	allows	for	plenty	of	jokey	moments	,	including	a	scene	from	"	stab	"	which	turns	scream's	now	famous	drew	barrymore	prologue	on	its	ear	.	(	"	b	,	hang	up	the	phone	and	star	69	his	a	!	"	pinkett	yells	at	the	screen	.	)	it's	funny	,	creepy	stuff	(	i	don't	think	i'll	ever	feel	safe	in	a	movie	theater	again	)	that	effectively	foreshadows	the	ratio	of	smart	scares	and	spoofy	laughs	down	the	road	.	another	flawless	example	of	this	is	a	riotous	cell	phone	assault	of	the	killer	on	randy	,	dewey	and	gale	in	broad	daylight	;	it	builds	comedically	and	ends	with	genuine	terror	because	of	the	emotional	investment	made	on	these	delicious	characters	.	there	are	other	superb	set	pieces	,	but	explaining	them	risks	ruining	their	effect	.	there	are	more	players	this	time	around	as	to	provide	both	a	higher	number	suspects	and	a	staggering	body	count	.	it's	something	of	a	trade	in	the	new	characters	are	too	large	in	number	to	be	as	fully	developed	as	the	original	"	scream	"	gang	,	but	this	movie	packs	in	knowing	performances	(	especially	by	kennedy	and	cox	)	and	more	death	for	your	dollar	.	it	can	be	argued	that	,	while	the	original	might	outclass	it	by	a	tad	,	scream	2	is	both	scarier	and	funnier	.	it	certainly	doesn't	skimp	with	shocks	a	major	one	being	the	killing	of	one	cast	member	very	near	and	dear	to	my	heart	(	i	actually	questioned	craven	and	williamson's	judgment	here	,	considering	how	much	this	person	has	added	to	these	films	)	.	sometimes	you	wish	that	more	could	have	been	done	with	stab	the	two	scenes	we're	shown	are	dead	on	but	for	film	fans	,	there	are	plenty	of	subtle	nods	to	movies	like	"	the	usual	suspects	,	"	"	aliens	"	and	"	the	empire	strikes	back	.	"	still	,	"	scream	2	"	does	so	many	things	right	,	it's	petty	to	quibble	.	its	penchant	for	parody	is	irresistible	,	discussions	of	the	merits	of	film	sequels	and	all	.	the	attractive	,	solid	cast	is	a	definite	bonus	.	and	the	denouement	(	while	not	as	shocking	as	"	scream	"	's	)	is	priceless	;	the	film's	final	revelation	incorporates	bits	of	a	particular	horror	film	prominently	referred	to	in	"	scream	"	with	one	of	the	best	bad	guy	motives	ever	put	on	paper	.	all	this	and	a	"	scream	3	"	is	in	the	works	.	knowing	the	series'	tendency	for	self	reference	,	perhaps	one	of	its	characters	will	again	discuss	the	concept	of	sequel	justice	.	mentioning	"	scream	2	"	'll	help	them	in	their	argument	.	1997	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a
pos	finding	the	courage	to	face	life	full	on	is	a	difficult	task	.	summoning	up	the	audacity	to	fall	in	love	is	a	harder	job	.	if	you're	a	total	jerk	like	melvin	udall	is	,	the	odds	are	even	more	against	you	.	melvin	(	jack	nicholson	)	is	a	successful	romance	author	who	is	just	the	opposite	of	what	you	would	expect	someone	in	that	profession	to	be	.	a	solitary	man	hidden	away	in	his	new	york	apartment	with	no	human	interaction	and	not	even	a	hint	of	ever	having	been	in	a	passionate	relationship	,	he	avoids	the	outside	world	as	much	as	possible	.	his	obsessive	compulsive	disorder	rules	his	life	as	he	uses	several	different	bars	of	soap	to	wash	his	hands	and	refuses	to	step	on	a	crack	on	the	sidewalk	.	(	there's	a	great	scene	when	he	has	to	cross	a	floor	made	of	mosaic	tiles	_	very	_	small	_	mosaic	tiles	.	)	melvin	has	some	great	lines	.	when	his	publisher's	receptionist	asks	him	how	he	writes	women	so	well	in	his	books	,	he	responds	"	i	think	of	men	and	i	take	away	reason	and	accountability	.	"	don't	get	him	wrong	,	he's	not	merely	a	misogynist	.	setting	his	sights	higher	than	that	,	he's	also	a	homophobe	,	racist	,	anti	semite	,	xenophobe	,	animal	hater	and	intensely	dislikes	people	who	talk	in	metaphors	.	when	we	first	meet	him	,	he's	busy	dumping	a	neighbor's	dog	down	the	garbage	chute	.	he's	an	equal	opportunity	bigot	.	he	does	venture	outside	his	apartment	every	day	to	eat	breakfast	at	a	local	cafe	.	melvin	is	such	a	grouchy	curmudgeon	that	waitress	carol	connelly	(	helen	hunt	)	is	the	only	one	willing	to	wait	on	him	.	and	she's	none	too	happy	about	it	.	when	carol	doesn't	show	up	for	work	,	melvin's	routine	is	shot	and	he's	determined	to	do	something	about	it	.	tracking	down	her	address	,	he	shows	up	at	her	place	begging	her	to	come	back	to	work	so	that	he	can	eat	breakfast	.	the	fact	that	she's	a	poor	single	mother	caring	for	a	chronically	ill	son	doesn't	appear	to	phase	him	,	he	wants	his	food	.	much	more	upsetting	is	that	his	gay	artist	neighbor	simon	bishop	(	greg	kinnear	)	is	brutally	attacked	during	a	robbery	.	this	doesn't	upset	melvin	much	(	"	don't	worry	,	you'll	be	back	on	your	knees	in	no	time	"	)	but	when	he	is	bullied	into	taking	care	of	simon's	dog	,	his	life	is	turned	topsy	turvey	.	melvin	is	sequestered	because	he's	afraid	of	what's	out	there	on	the	other	side	of	his	apartment	door	.	he	has	to	make	sure	it's	ritualistically	locked	three	times	to	keep	the	world	on	its	proper	side	.	when	he	brings	the	dog	home	he	reluctantly	grows	fond	of	it	,	talking	to	it	and	taking	it	everywhere	he	goes	.	this	little	crack	in	his	emotional	armor	opens	him	up	.	hiding	behind	his	need	for	carol	to	return	to	work	so	she	can	serve	him	,	he	pays	for	a	specialist	to	treat	her	son	.	he	even	develops	a	friendship	with	simon	.	all	three	people	are	heavily	damaged	.	melvin	has	retreated	from	life	in	his	apartment	.	carol	has	devoted	herself	to	her	son	,	convinced	that	she	has	to	give	up	her	life	for	him	.	simon	is	estranged	from	his	parents	and	his	friends	disappear	when	he	is	hospitalized	and	his	money	runs	out	.	a	more	unlikely	trio	to	form	relationships	,	you'd	rarely	see	.	and	in	the	midst	of	it	all	,	there	are	some	wonderful	moments	.	melvin	is	hilarious	in	his	grouchiness	and	touching	as	he	attempts	to	be	nice	.	"	you	make	me	want	to	be	a	better	man	,	"	he	tells	her	.	one	of	the	best	aspects	is	that	even	as	he	opens	up	,	he	is	still	a	curmudgeon	.	carol	,	afraid	that	his	monetary	contribution	to	the	wellness	of	her	son	hides	a	hidden	agenda	rushes	over	to	his	apartment	in	the	rain	to	explain	in	no	uncertain	terms	that	she	will	never	sleep	with	him	.	it	only	takes	her	a	second	to	realize	that	she	is	delivering	that	statement	while	looking	as	if	she	just	left	a	wet	t	shirt	contest	.	there's	hardly	anything	left	to	say	about	jack	nicholson	.	i	don't	remember	ever	seeing	him	in	anything	less	than	a	stellar	performance	and	his	over	the	edge	melvin	is	no	disappointment	.	nicholson	may	be	the	best	actor	working	today	.	hunt	does	a	commendable	job	matching	nicholson's	energy	.	she	isn't	afraid	to	be	seen	as	something	less	than	a	babe	and	her	portrayal	of	exhausted	run	down	carol	struggling	with	seemingly	overwhelming	obligations	is	top	notch	.	their	on	screen	chemistry	is	a	bit	odd	.	each	does	a	wonderful	job	with	the	character	,	but	together	,	there's	something	a	little	off	.	it's	a	minor	problem	:	they	do	work	well	together	,	but	that	missing	element	is	what	prevents	this	from	being	a	four	star	film	.	director	james	l	.	brooks	(	"	terms	of	endearment	"	,	"	broadcast	news	"	)	has	a	movie	that	is	picking	up	awards	by	the	bucketsful	(	nominees	for	all	the	top	golden	globes	,	winners	from	the	national	board	of	review	,	inevitable	oscars	)	and	has	a	winner	on	his	hands	.	"	as	good	as	it	gets	"	isn't	exactly	the	quality	that	the	title	says	,	but	it's	pretty	darn	close	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	over	22	years	and	as	soon	as	he	finishes	this	one	,	he's	off	to	an	annual	12	night	celebration	typically	held	in	freezing	weather	during	a	snowstorm	.	this	year	it's	in	the	sixties	and	raining	.	that	wacky	el	nino	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	1	8	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	starring	:	matt	damon	,	ben	affleck	,	linda	fiorentino	,	chris	rock	,	alan	rickman	,	janeane	garofalo	,	jason	lee	,	jason	mewes	,	kevin	smith	director	:	kevin	smith	written	by	:	kevin	smith	in	the	north	america	of	the	late	90's	,	a	time	and	place	wherein	the	description	"	devout	catholic	"	is	an	oxymoron	,	you	wouldn't	think	a	film	like	dogma	would	have	had	trouble	finding	a	distributor	,	much	less	require	the	painfully	self	embarrassed	disclaimer	which	precedes	it	.	surely	even	the	most	pious	,	guilt	ridden	rc	couldn't	possibly	take	offense	to	something	smith	rightly	calls	a	"	comic	fantasy	,	"	something	so	purposely	irreverent	it	rivals	the	great	schism	for	sheer	,	laugh	out	loud	ludicrousness	.	i	mean	,	come	on	.	we're	talking	about	a	movie	that	features	damon	and	affleck	as	fallen	angels	(	complete	with	really	fake	looking	wings	)	who	discover	a	policy	loophole	that	will	either	allow	them	to	get	back	into	heaven	with	a	clean	slate	or	cause	the	obliteration	of	everything	,	depending	on	whom	you	ask	.	we're	talking	about	dusky	voiced	fiorentino	as	a	heroine	whose	family	tree	contains	more	'begot's	than	the	book	of	genesis	,	and	chris	rock	as	"	rufus	,	the	thirteenth	apostle	,	"	who	insists	he	was	written	out	of	the	bible	because	he's	black	.	we're	talking	about	inspired	bits	of	ironic	casting	like	alanis	morissette	as	god	,	or	better	yet	,	george	carlin	as	a	cardinal	who	interprets	jesus'	"	let	the	children	come	unto	me	,	"	as	"	get	'em	when	they're	young	.	"	we're	talking	about	stoners	jay	and	silent	bob	(	jason	mewes	and	smith	,	who	show	up	as	these	same	characters	in	every	smith	movie	)	as	prophets	,	fer	chrissakes	.	by	all	rights	,	a	film	this	goofy	should	have	inspired	nothing	more	than	simple	indifference	,	and	not	just	in	catholics	.	yet	for	the	most	part	,	it	all	clicks	.	damon	and	affleck	are	ideal	as	millennia	old	buddies	;	their	scenes	together	have	a	seemingly	effortless	,	comfortable	ease	,	and	they	even	get	to	poke	fun	at	speculation	about	their	offscreen	relationship	.	certain	corporate	idolaters	are	slammed	mercilessly	,	to	hilarious	effect	.	even	jay's	juvenile	,	expletive	riddled	banter	,	annoying	as	it	can	be	,	often	provides	a	shockingly	funny	counterpoint	when	the	going	threatens	to	get	serious	.	the	film	does	lose	some	steam	in	the	late	going	,	however	,	and	the	ending	doesn't	match	the	promise	of	the	first	half	.	still	,	dogma	ends	up	being	a	thoughtful	and	heartfelt	expression	of	smith's	simple	message	about	the	difference	between	ideas	and	beliefs	,	faith	and	religion	,	and	why	we're	all	here	.
pos	release	date	:	january	8	,	1999	starring	:	gwyneth	paltrow	,	joseph	fiennes	,	geoffrey	rush	,	ben	affleck	,	colin	firth	,	judi	dench	,	tom	wilkinson	,	rupert	everett	directed	by	:	john	madden	distributed	by	:	miramax	films	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	sexuality	,	nudity	,	brief	profanity	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	shakespeare	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	shakespeare	.	htm	a	the	only	historical	figure	that	has	been	written	about	more	than	william	shakespeare	is	jesus	christ	,	which	explains	why	the	bard's	materials	are	such	a	popular	source	for	remakes	,	revisions	,	rewrites	,	inspiration	,	subtlety	,	credit	,	and	dispute	.	indeed	,	in	recent	years	,	american	contemporary	cinema	has	been	swamped	with	a	wash	of	shakespearean	products	.	including	this	year's	upcoming	a	midsummer	night's	dream	,	shakespeare's	material	has	been	the	cause	for	twenty	six	big	screen	productions	since	1990	.	but	for	a	change	of	pace	,	mrs	.	brown	director	john	madden	gives	us	a	story	of	the	bard	himself	in	the	wonderfully	vibrant	shakespeare	in	love	.	marc	norman	and	tom	stoppard's	story	is	largely	fantasy	,	although	as	the	viewer	soon	learns	,	shakespeare	in	love	is	not	a	movie	that	takes	itself	seriously	.	(	will	shakespeare	of	the	1590's	would've	been	married	to	anne	hathaway	,	and	he	would've	had	a	teenage	daughter	and	two	young	sons	;	here	he	is	a	bachelor	played	by	joseph	fiennes	.	)	will	is	a	writer	struggling	to	come	up	with	a	great	play	,	and	his	current	comedy	in	the	works	"	romeo	and	ethel	,	the	pirate's	daughter	"	just	doesn't	quite	seem	right	.	with	the	help	of	the	great	writer	christopher	marlowe	(	rupert	everett	)	,	and	the	inspiration	of	true	love	with	noblewoman	viola	de	lesseps	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	,	he	changes	things	around	and	writes	one	of	his	greatest	tragedies	,	"	romeo	and	juliet	.	"	the	love	story	between	will	and	viola	loosely	parallels	the	story	of	romeo	and	juliet	,	to	great	effect	.	fiennes	and	paltrow	develop	a	sexy	chemistry	as	the	two	lovers	which	gives	the	movie	much	momentum	;	this	momentum	smoothes	out	the	bumps	in	the	unfinished	and	largely	unsuccessful	comedy	.	the	supporting	roles	are	well	filled	out	,	from	geoffrey	rush	as	will's	worrisome	agent	,	philip	,	to	tom	wilkinson	as	the	producer	hugh	fennyman	.	even	ben	affleck	,	leading	the	troupe	of	actors	,	manages	to	make	a	favorable	impression	;	and	judi	dench	lends	some	brief	moments	of	screen	time	as	queen	elizabeth	i	.	gwyneth	paltrow	is	by	far	,	however	,	the	standout	of	the	lot	,	creating	a	large	percentage	of	the	forementioned	vibrance	.	the	story	is	well	crafted	if	nothing	else	,	although	it	has	dangerous	moments	where	it	flirts	with	the	"	let's	make	a	movie	"	genre	.	the	dialogue	is	breezy	and	lighthearted	,	and	certainly	accessible	by	the	audience's	lowest	common	denominator	.	there's	something	for	everyone	in	this	romantic	comedy	,	making	it	prime	date	flick	material	.	although	certainly	not	inspiring	in	any	regard	,	it	revels	in	a	wholesome	,	well	rounded	atmosphere	that	has	been	absent	in	many	of	1998's	pictures	;	the	true	love	story	is	one	of	the	best	around	.	certainly	recommendable	when	the	traditional	slew	of	indifferent	year's	open	releases	is	just	around	the	corner	.
pos	a	civil	action	1	2	.	directed	,	written	,	executive	produced	by	steven	zaillian	.	from	the	book	by	jonathan	harr	.	photography	,	conrad	l	.	hall	.	editing	,	wayne	wahrman	.	production	design	,	david	gropman	.	music	,	danny	elfman	.	produced	by	scott	rudin	,	robert	redford	and	rachel	pfeffer	.	cast	:	john	travolta	(	jan	schlichtmann	)	,	robert	duvall	(	jerome	facher	)	,	tony	shalhoub	(	kevin	conway	)	,	william	h	.	macy	(	james	gordon	)	,	zeljko	ivanek	(	bill	crowley	)	,	bruce	norris	(	william	cheeseman	)	,	kathleen	quinlan	(	anne	anderson	)	,	peter	jacobson	(	neil	jacobs	)	,	mary	mara	(	kathy	boyer	)	,	james	gandolfini	(	al	love	)	,	stephen	fry	(	pinder	)	,	dan	hedaya	(	john	riley	)	,	sydney	pollack	(	al	eustis	)	,	et	al	.	a	touchstone	release	.	113	minutes	.	pg	13	.	in	these	days	of	lawyer	jokes	,	the	legal	profession	could	use	some	redemption	.	it	comes	in	"	a	civil	action	,	"	which	is	excellent	,	intelligent	,	touching	,	complex	,	impeccably	scripted	,	directed	,	produced	and	beautifully	served	by	all	its	performers	.	it's	a	true	story	,	one	that	gave	birth	to	a	prize	winning	book	.	in	the	1970s	,	in	woburn	,	mass	.	,	many	children	died	of	leukemia	.	it	was	a	mystery	for	most	people	,	but	not	for	their	parents	who	identified	the	culprit	:	water	polluted	better	yet	,	poisoned	by	two	industrial	giants	,	the	grace	co	,	and	beatrice	foods	.	the	boston	firm	of	jean	schlichtmann	(	travolta	)	,	a	personal	injury	lawyer	(	aka	an	ambulance	chaser	)	is	doing	very	well	.	when	the	children's	families	ask	him	to	take	their	case	,	travolta	politely	declines	.	on	the	way	to	woburn	in	his	speeding	porsche	,	he	gets	a	ticket	.	on	the	way	back	,	whether	by	cinematic	device	or	real	coincidence	i	cannot	tell	,	but	it	matters	little	comes	a	second	ticket	,	next	to	the	very	location	of	the	toxic	dumping	.	is	schlichtmann	having	an	epiphany	?	does	it	dawn	on	him	that	a	win	over	the	mega	corporations	could	fill	his	firm's	coffers	?	is	it	a	combination	of	both	?	hard	to	tell	.	but	he	takes	the	case	and	,	in	the	long	run	,	becomes	haunted	by	it	,	to	the	point	that	he	and	his	associates	have	to	keep	borrowing	from	banks	,	mortgaging	their	possessions	,	homes	,	insurance	policies	,	and	going	broke	.	the	fluid	,	meticulous	but	unforced	script	and	direction	are	by	steven	zaillian	,	who	rightly	jumped	to	fame	with	his	scenario	for	schindler's	list	.	his	credits	also	include	the	writing	(	from	other	true	story	books	)	the	hospital	based	awakenings	,	and	the	search	for	bobby	fisher	(	zaillian's	first	directorial	job	)	about	a	child	who	was	a	chess	prodigy	.	all	those	titles	,	plus	the	scenario	for	the	fictional	jack	the	bear	,	are	of	works	that	move	and	highlight	zaillian's	unquestionable	compassion	.	he	moves	you	without	resorting	to	kitsch	,	phony	dramatics	,	manipulation	of	emotions	.	a	civil	action	avoids	flamboyance	,	yet	shines	by	its	empathy	for	human	misery	.	it	is	also	a	great	thriller	plus	courtroom	drama	,	superior	because	of	its	(	mostly	)	low	key	approach	,	its	refusal	to	yield	to	flashy	dramatics	,	its	exceptionally	good	characterizations	,	whether	full	blown	or	just	sketched	in	.	at	the	root	of	the	film	we	have	a	david	and	goliath	story	of	common	working	class	people	against	corporate	king	kongs	,	and	of	a	small	law	firm	versus	the	infinite	funds	of	grace	and	beatrice	.	the	latter's	platoons	of	lawyers	are	headed	by	a	powerhouse	memorably	if	a	little	too	colorfully	played	by	robert	duvall	,	a	prince	of	foxes	.	every	moment	counts	in	the	suspenseful	depiction	of	who	will	outsmart	whom	,	which	strings	will	be	pulled	.	each	deposition	is	a	self	contained	,	mesmerizing	drama	.	we	are	made	painfully	conscious	that	this	david	is	not	the	biblical	one	;	that	lawsuits	seldom	win	outright	;	that	the	whole	procedure	is	a	preamble	to	settlements	;	that	of	fifty	appeals	,	only	five	win	in	the	courts	.	of	course	,	the	film	gets	its	momentum	and	its	thrills	from	the	use	of	the	tricks	of	the	movie	trade	,	but	these	are	in	pastels	rather	than	screaming	colors	.	from	photography	to	editing	,	from	framing	to	continuity	,	from	dialogue	or	confrontations	to	the	first	rate	score	by	danny	elfman	,	the	picture	remains	discreet	and	unexplosive	.	to	put	the	movie	in	a	historical	context	,	we	are	,	in	a	sense	,	in	postmodern	,	post	post	post	frank	capra	populist	territory	of	the	little	people	and	the	masters	of	the	land	,	all	framed	by	the	fact	of	life	that	justice	and	the	law	are	far	from	synonymous	.	details	are	chosen	with	extraordinary	care	,	from	repressed	tearfulness	,	to	the	gradual	impoverishment	of	the	smaller	law	firm	,	to	the	harvard	club	encounter	of	travolta	and	grace's	ceo	.	he	is	wonderfully	,	quirkily	played	by	director	sydney	pollack	.	as	for	travolta	or	should	i	say	lazarus	?	i'll	just	say	that	he	continues	his	extraordinary	comeback	like	a	speeding	bullet	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	don't	you	love	it	how	low	budget	independent	movies	absolutely	amaze	you	every	so	often	?	"	swingers	"	is	that	kind	of	movie	.	with	a	hilarious	witty	plot	,	and	great	acting	,	i	fell	in	love	with	this	little	gem	.	not	since	watching	"	reservoir	dogs	"	have	i	ever	seen	a	low	budget	independent	(	and	under	hyped	)	flick	that	i	enjoyed	this	much	.	"	swingers	"	tells	the	story	of	young	l	.	a	.	twenty	something	guys	,	who	,	among	other	activities	,	cruise	for	dates	and	love	.	they	hit	on	women	at	bars	,	they	swagger	and	act	tough	.	they	constantly	talk	to	each	other	(	in	rapid	fire	woody	allen	talk	no	less	)	about	the	art	of	picking	up	women	.	the	irony	of	"	swingers	"	though	,	is	that	these	guys	are	a	hopeless	case	in	finding	love	,	women	are	usually	repelled	away	from	their	machismo	,	not	attracted	to	it	.	it's	a	great	and	witty	plot	,	and	watching	these	guys	stumble	over	themselves	is	wonderful	.	in	addition	,	the	male	stars	of	the	movie	,	mike	(	jon	favreau	)	,	trent	(	vince	vaughn	)	,	rob	(	ron	livingston	)	and	sue	(	patrick	van	horn	)	all	act	wonderfully	.	whether	it's	mike	ranting	and	raving	about	his	ex	girlfriend	,	or	trent	comparing	the	directors	scorcese	and	tarentino	to	each	other	,	or	sue	playing	far	too	competitively	in	a	video	game	,	it's	hilarious	.	finally	,	little	touches	in	the	movie	made	it	even	more	interesting	to	me	.	for	example	,	in	one	of	the	funnier	scenes	of	the	movie	,	we	watch	mike	completely	blow	a	potential	date	by	leaving	message	after	message	on	her	answering	machine	late	at	night	.	later	on	,	when	mike	gets	another	lucky	phone	number	,	if	the	audience	pays	close	attention	they	can	see	that	the	camera	angles	,	music	,	etc	.	is	exactly	the	same	as	in	the	earlier	scene	botched	by	mike	.	it's	a	great	idea	,	as	the	audience	can't	help	but	cringe	at	the	possibility	of	poor	mike	screwing	up	his	chance	for	love	again	.	in	addition	,	we	see	several	nods	to	tarentino's	"	reservoir	dogs	"	,	whether	a	poster	of	"	mr	.	blonde	"	in	the	background	,	or	a	spoof	of	"	reservoir	dogs	"	's	famous	slow	motion	intro	sequence	.	finally	,	the	movie	wraps	up	neatly	with	a	cool	and	well	done	ending	.	all	in	all	,	"	swingers	"	blows	away	the	far	majority	of	any	"	blockbusters	"	that	have	come	out	this	summer	.	i	highly	recommend	it	.	nick's	rating	:	4	(	highly	recommended	)	movies	rated	from	4	(	worst	)	to	4	(	best	)	,	0	average	rating
pos	while	it	was	part	of	former	yugoslavia	,	my	country	,	croatia	,	used	to	be	almost	completely	ignored	by	western	films	in	general	.	words	"	croatia	"	and	"	croatians	"	were	unheard	,	even	in	movies	whose	plots	actually	took	place	on	croatian	locations	.	the	rare	exception	was	the	dogs	of	war	,	1980	adaptation	of	frederick	forsyth's	bestselling	novel	,	yet	that	rare	occasion	only	added	insult	to	the	injury	,	by	mentioning	croatians	in	most	unflattering	context	.	in	a	single	line	they	are	referred	as	a	bunch	of	mean	people	,	probably	terrorists	,	who	happen	to	remove	parts	of	arm	dealers'	stomachs	when	they	are	unsatisfied	with	the	quality	of	merchandise	.	same	line	also	illustrates	the	milieu	where	the	movie	takes	place	dark	and	violent	world	of	shady	international	deals	with	the	blurred	boundaries	between	business	,	politics	and	crime	.	the	movie	protagonist	,	shannon	(	christopher	walken	)	is	a	mercenary	who	spent	the	best	years	of	his	life	fighting	numerous	little	wars	all	over	the	globe	.	his	latest	job	is	a	intelligence	mission	for	powerful	mining	corporation	that	demands	information	about	political	climate	in	west	african	nation	of	zangaro	.	shannon	arrives	in	that	country	only	to	find	oppressive	regime	of	president	kimba	,	bloodthirsty	madman	whose	brutality	crushed	any	opposition	and	scared	almost	any	westerners	away	.	after	being	arrested	and	tortured	by	kimba's	secret	police	,	shannon	leaves	country	with	a	help	of	british	journalist	north	(	colin	blakely	)	.	upon	return	,	he	is	approached	by	mining	company	again	,	but	this	time	they	want	him	to	plan	and	execute	the	coup	d'etat	against	kimba	.	shannon	reluctantly	agrees	and	assembles	small	group	of	his	surviving	mercenary	friends	who	begin	meticulous	preparation	for	another	small	war	.	thing	that	separates	the	dogs	of	war	from	conventional	action	movies	,	especially	those	made	in	1980s	,	is	its	authenticity	,	almost	close	to	documentary	.	it	shouldn't	surprise	anyone	,	because	the	author	of	the	novel	,	frederick	forsyth	,	made	reputation	by	blending	fiction	with	real	life	,	thus	creating	interesting	,	exciting	yet	very	believable	plots	for	his	books	.	those	plots	were	also	responsible	for	few	very	successful	1970s	thrillers	,	and	one	of	them	,	zinnemman's	the	day	of	the	jackal	,	is	now	considered	a	classic	in	that	genre	.	this	one	deals	with	soldiers	of	fortune	,	ancient	tradition	that	was	resurrected	in	great	turmoil	of	1960s	and	1970s	and	filled	the	void	left	by	vanishing	colonial	empires	.	unlike	wild	geese	,	that	used	it	as	a	pretext	for	conventional	action	adventure	,	script	by	george	malko	and	gary	de	vore	(	author	whose	death	last	year	became	real	life	mystery	)	is	serious	,	and	instead	of	action	puts	emphasis	on	characters	and	prosaic	details	of	their	work	.	the	movie	doesn't	try	to	romanticise	the	mercenary	profession	nor	glorify	mercenaries	as	some	kind	of	superheroes	;	they	are	simply	shown	as	deadly	yet	expendable	tool	of	powerful	forces	with	questionable	agenda	.	christopher	walken	played	in	many	movies	,	yet	very	rarely	we	can	see	him	in	a	leading	role	.	his	performance	in	this	film	perhaps	isn't	breathtaking	,	yet	adequate	.	his	notoriously	expressionless	face	is	perfect	illustration	of	the	disillusioned	,	world	weary	man	whose	alienation	from	the	"	normal	"	way	of	life	becomes	complete	and	only	remaining	ideal	is	loyalty	to	the	shrinking	circle	of	friends	.	although	the	movie	doesn't	lack	capable	actors	,	their	roles	are	miniature	compared	with	walken's	,	and	only	colin	blakely	as	cynical	reporter	has	opportunity	to	portray	his	character	.	however	,	those	who	look	familiar	faces	would	find	them	plenty	in	the	dogs	of	war	tom	berenger	,	paul	freeman	,	jo	beth	williams	,	victoria	tennant	(	in	brief	cameo	)	,	and	biggest	surprise	is	ed	o'neill	(	of	married	with	children	fame	)	as	shannon's	reluctant	colleague	.	this	was	the	first	major	production	for	john	irvin	,	and	it	shows	why	he	earned	the	reputation	of	capable	,	yet	second	class	director	.	with	the	good	script	he	can	make	very	good	movie	,	with	the	bad	script	he	can	make	real	mess	.	luckily	,	the	dogs	of	war	had	a	good	script	.	irvin's	direction	was	very	ascetic	and	it	gave	the	movie	almost	documentary	feel	.	the	only	distraction	is	dramatic	music	of	geoffrey	burgon	,	used	on	the	wrong	places	.	in	the	final	battle	scene	,	where	we	can	see	mercenaries	at	work	,	irvin	shows	us	that	modern	warfare	means	superior	firepower	and	tactics	,	unlike	1980s	ramboesque	fantasies	that	rely	on	macho	superheroes	.	unfortunately	,	by	making	battle	realistic	irvin	made	it	somewhat	less	attractive	and	his	sloppy	editing	also	didn't	help	.	but	,	despite	those	shortcomings	,	this	movie	remains	interesting	and	rare	combination	of	action	thriller	and	gritty	,	realistic	political	drama	.
pos	it	seems	to	me	that	critics	and	audiences	have	become	so	tired	of	the	same	old	kind	of	movies	,	that	they	now	turn	to	anything	remotely	different	and	acclaim	it	as	though	it	were	the	greatest	film	ever	made	.	this	would	seem	to	be	the	case	with	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	.	while	certainly	innovative	,	and	contains	a	few	genuinely	creepy	scenes	,	most	of	the	film	seems	to	revolve	around	watching	three	teens	bicker	out	in	the	woods	.	three	students	set	out	for	a	small	town	in	maryland	which	is	home	to	a	legend	,	the	legend	of	the	blair	witch	.	first	interviewing	the	townspeople	,	they	eventually	decide	to	head	into	the	woods	to	find	the	site	of	the	witch's	killings	.	the	three	travel	through	the	woods	for	days	,	becoming	lost	and	eventually	turning	on	each	other	.	the	whole	time	,	something	in	the	woods	stalks	them	.	leaving	small	symbols	at	first	,	the	stalker	becomes	more	and	more	bold	and	eventually	openly	attacks	,	dragging	one	off	in	the	night	.	it	seems	that	the	majority	of	people	feel	fully	one	way	or	another	about	this	film	.	either	they	think	it's	one	ofthe	greatest	ever	made	,	or	is	an	utter	piece	of	garbage	they	can't	believe	they	were	dragged	to	.	i	,	on	the	other	hand	,	am	fairly	divided	about	this	movie	.	as	i	said	earlier	,	it's	a	truly	innovative	film	.	shot	entirely	as	though	it	were	lost	footage	shot	with	a	home	camera	,	it	does	seem	quite	realistic	.	however	,	if	you	suffer	easily	from	motion	sickness	,	stay	far	away	.	there	are	also	a	few	scenes	which	are	quite	eerie	.	the	two	that	stick	out	most	in	my	mind	are	the	conclusion	,	and	a	scene	where	the	group	stumbles	across	hundreds	of	figures	made	out	of	sticks	in	a	section	of	woods	.	now	,	on	to	the	items	that	really	couldn't	stand	.	one	thing	which	i	simply	can't	believe	,	is	that	while	running	terrified	through	the	woods	,	with	some	horrible	thing	chasing	them	,	the	kids	would	actually	keep	the	camera	held	at	eye	level	!	the	other	major	problem	was	that	between	nights	in	the	tent	,	when	the	creature	in	the	woods	harassed	the	group	,	they	spent	the	days	arguing	on	and	on	.	i	saw	some	people	in	the	theatre	begin	to	doze	off	in	these	scenes	.	some	truly	creepy	scenes	which	are	plagued	by	stretches	of	boring	dialogue	earns	this	movie	three	stars	,	and	a	reccomendation	to	wait	for	video	(	but	watch	it	with	the	lights	off	to	get	the	true	effect	)	.	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you've	got	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.	e	mail	with	comments	at	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jabii	aol	.	com	"	jabii	aol	.	com	a
pos	the	promotion	for	fear	and	loathing	in	las	vegashas	made	the	film	out	to	be	a	comedy	,	and	for	about	the	first	hour	or	so	it	seems	like	it	might	be	one	.	it's	1971	,	and	the	hippie	movement	has	left	behind	quite	a	few	wash	outs	,	among	them	journalist	raoul	duke	(	johnny	depp	)	and	his	"	attorney	"	dr	.	gonzo	(	benito	del	toro	)	.	these	two	spend	most	of	the	film	in	a	drug	induced	stupor	,	having	strange	hallucinations	,	trashing	their	hotel	rooms	,	and	either	annoying	or	scaring	almost	everyone	that	crosses	their	path	.	duke	is	first	assigned	to	cover	an	outdoor	desert	motorcycle	race	in	las	vegas	,	but	gets	lost	in	a	blur	of	drugs	,	beer	,	and	flying	dust	,	and	ends	up	wandering	around	with	no	clue	who	won	.	he	leaves	vegas	briefly	before	he	is	sent	back	,	in	what	can	only	be	described	as	a	strangely	appropriate	twist	of	fate	,	to	cover	a	drug	enforcement	conference	.	fear	and	loathing	has	been	misinterpreted	by	some	as	glorifying	the	use	of	drugs	.	it	doesn't	,	even	in	the	beginning	while	the	pair's	antics	are	sometimes	amusing	and	relatively	harmless	at	first	,	the	humor	here	is	still	fairly	dark	.	director	terry	gilliam	views	them	with	a	rather	satirical	eye	,	and	even	when	we're	laughing	,	we're	laughing	at	them	rather	than	with	them	.	they	spend	most	of	their	time	paranoid	,	angry	,	or	just	plain	befuddled	,	which	is	probably	an	understandable	reaction	to	seeing	the	entire	room	suddenly	fill	up	with	giant	reptiles	.	the	black	comedy	may	be	entertaining	to	watch	onscreen	,	but	it's	probably	not	something	most	other	audience	members	would	want	to	experience	first	hand	.	all	this	aside	,	i	was	starting	to	grow	a	bit	restless	as	the	film	drew	near	its	one	hour	mark	,	thinking	to	myself	that	i	wanted	something	more	out	of	this	than	just	an	off	kilter	satire	of	drug	culture	.	thankfully	,	the	script	delivers	it	before	too	long	,	as	duke	,	in	a	rare	moment	of	lucidity	,	stops	to	recall	how	he	was	once	an	enthusiastic	hippie	,	"	riding	the	wave	"	of	something	that	seemed	special	and	important	.	now	it's	six	years	later	and	the	wave	has	finally	broken	,	as	he	puts	it	.	materialistic	culture	is	still	alive	and	well	and	,	for	most	of	this	film	,	right	in	his	face	in	las	vegas	;	the	"	american	dream	"	of	which	duke	occasionally	speaks	is	still	just	as	shallow	and	phony	as	ever	.	the	social	protesters	have	lost	,	and	the	more	questionable	aspects	of	the	movement	have	turned	ugly	and	left	casualties	such	as	duke	to	drift	in	a	sea	of	drugs	and	disillusionment	.	in	many	ways	,	fear	and	loathing	is	gilliam's	most	reality	based	film	;	all	of	his	others	,	with	the	exception	of	the	fisher	king	,	have	made	use	of	some	sort	of	fantasy	or	science	fiction	plot	elements	.	yet	it	is	his	off	the	wall	masterpiece	brazilto	which	this	film	bears	the	most	visual	resemblance	.	the	protagonist	of	brazil	found	himself	alternately	surrounded	by	a	plastic	,	soulless	society	and	the	constant	chaos	of	totalitarian	police	inspections	and	terrorist	attacks	,	and	similarly	duke's	world	is	composed	of	the	artificial	,	empty	glam	of	las	vegas	and	the	bizarre	anarchy	of	his	drug	hallucinations	.	unlike	the	protagonist	of	brazil	,	however	,	duke	is	not	a	particularly	admirable	figure	,	and	neither	is	gonzo	.	during	the	latter	half	of	the	film	,	their	trips	turn	nastier	and	the	consequences	worse	,	eventually	building	up	to	an	incident	an	a	diner	in	which	gonzo	crudely	frightens	and	humiliates	a	waitress	,	while	duke	,	though	he	doesn't	seem	to	approve	,	doesn't	do	anything	to	stop	it	either	.	by	the	time	this	scene	takes	place	,	they	don't	seem	like	hippies	or	peaceniks	or	protesters	or	anything	of	the	sort	any	more	;	they	just	seem	like	a	couple	of	stoned	jerks	in	a	diner	.	duke	seems	to	realize	at	some	level	that	he's	become	something	he	doesn't	like	,	but	he's	either	too	apathetic	or	too	defeated	to	do	anything	to	change	.	this	film	has	taken	a	critical	drubbing	from	many	who	view	it	as	an	essentially	pointless	film	that	simply	throws	one	trip	scene	after	another	at	the	audience	.	while	gilliam	may	have	overdone	it	in	a	few	places	,	i	think	he	and	his	co	writers	deserve	more	credit	than	that	.	there's	plenty	of	substance	here	,	particularly	in	the	second	half	;	its	observations	about	the	broken	and	defeated	rebels	from	the	'60s	and	the	objects	of	their	rebellion	just	aren't	usually	very	pleasant	.	unlike	,	say	,	brazilor	the	fisher	king	,	both	of	which	feature	a	character	who	dares	to	let	himself	dream	in	a	repressive	environment	,	fear	and	loathing	in	las	vegasshows	us	someone	who's	given	up	on	his	dreams	and	resorts	to	the	quick	fix	of	drugs	.	in	its	own	psychedelic	,	whacked	out	way	,	it's	sad	and	regretful	,	but	i	think	it's	also	a	bit	of	a	kick	in	the	pants	,	a	challenge	to	find	an	alternative	between	chemically	induced	withdrawal	and	the	equally	addictive	drug	of	vegas	style	materialism	.	indeed	,	duke	himself	admits	at	one	point	that	he's	never	learned	to	accept	that	you	can	get	higher	without	drugs	than	with	them	.	i'm	not	sure	if	he's	any	closer	to	accepting	it	by	the	end	or	not	,	but	i	suspect	the	audience	will	get	the	idea	.
pos	cast	:	matthew	broderick	david	,	ally	sheedy	jennifer	,	barry	corbin	gen	.	beringer	,	john	wood	stephen	falken	it's	a	fact	that	a	good	thriller	or	action	movie	doesn't	need	violence	to	be	good	or	worth	watching	.	all	it	takes	is	potential	violence	to	make	the	audience	bite	their	nails	.	and	what	kind	of	violence	could	be	more	efficient	than	a	global	thermo	nuclear	war	?	and	potential	violence	is	the	premiss	wargames	is	built	upon	.	a	computer	whiz	kid	,	david	,	is	usually	contended	with	hacking	into	the	school	computer	to	change	his	grades	.	but	after	having	read	an	advertisment	for	an	upcoming	computer	game	,	he	wants	to	be	the	first	to	play	it	.	instead	of	getting	into	the	computer	at	protovision	software	he	accidentally	comes	to	the	frontgate	of	norad	.	with	the	help	of	jennifer	,	a	girl	in	his	biology	class	,	he	starts	to	play	a	nice	game	of	nuclear	war	with	wopr	,	war	operation	plan	response	(	a	top	notch	computer	at	the	time	,	but	now	hardly	faster	than	my	own	computer	)	i	remember	being	12	and	watching	this	at	the	cinema	.	it	was	very	efficent	at	giving	you	a	scare	in	those	days	and	that	hasn't	changed	.	of	course	,	a	nuclear	war	seemed	to	be	much	more	of	something	that	could	actually	happen	back	in	1983	.	i	wouldn't	be	surprised	if	this	gave	people	nightmares	.	i	hope	it	still	does	since	you	still	hear	about	school	kids	hacking	into	the	computers	at	pentagon	.	broderick	and	sheedy	are	just	fine	as	the	young	teenagers	(	although	her	interest	in	david	remains	a	mystery	)	.	but	the	rest	of	the	actors	are	,	by	no	fault	of	their	own	,	restricted	by	the	script	to	play	one	dimensional	grownups	.	david's	parents	are	the	same	kind	of	parents	that	populate	all	these	college	comedies	from	the	1980s	,	movies	like	secret	admirer	,	porky's	or	zapped	and	the	norad	general	beringer	is	straight	out	of	dr	.	strangelove	.	if	for	no	other	reason	,	you	should	see	this	movie	to	enjoy	how	far	the	computer	technology	has	gone	since	those	days	.	david	uses	the	same	telephone	for	calling	friends	as	calling	other	computers	.	the	modem	is	some	kind	of	device	that	he	puts	the	headset	on	.	far	from	any	56k	modem	my	guess	is	that	it's	some	kind	of	2400	bps	modem	,	the	kind	of	technology	you	now	find	at	your	local	technical	museum	.	the	big	computer	at	norad	has	a	lot	of	flashing	lights	(	just	like	those	you	see	on	star	trek	or	any	old	sf	movie	)	but	it's	hardly	impressing	compared	with	what	you	can	get	today	.	what	are	the	lessons	we	can	learn	from	wargames	?	1	.	make	sure	there	are	no	secret	backdoors	into	military	computers	.	2	.	thank	you	,	whoever	it	was	,	for	giving	us	a	graphical	user	interface	when	we	use	our	computers	!
pos	the	first	thing	you	notice	about	this	movie	is	that	it's	cold	.	placed	in	minnesota	and	north	dakota	during	the	winter	,	many	of	the	scenes	take	place	outside	with	long	scenes	of	snow	covered	ground	against	a	background	of	white	.	just	what	we	need	as	bloomington	struggles	out	of	the	endless	long	cold	night	.	as	with	most	coen	brothers	films	,	this	features	outlandish	characters	in	nefarious	schemes	,	each	of	which	works	out	in	the	oddest	way	possible	.	a	car	salesman	hires	a	couple	of	hoods	to	kidnap	his	wife	so	that	he	can	collect	the	ransom	from	her	father	.	along	the	way	everything	that	can	possibly	go	wrong	does	.	in	brief	scenes	of	vicious	violence	,	people	get	shot	through	the	head	,	in	the	back	,	face	,	chest	and	various	other	areas	of	the	anatomy	.	there	is	also	one	of	the	most	unpleasant	body	disposal	scenes	yet	seen	on	the	screen	.	remarkably	enough	,	most	of	the	movie	is	played	for	laughs	.
pos	payback	(	m	)	.	(	warner	bros	village	roadshow	)	director	:	brian	helgeland	stars	:	mel	gibson	,	gregg	henry	,	maria	bello	,	kris	kristofferson	,	james	coburn	(	uncredited	)	,	david	paymer	,	bill	duke	,	william	devane	,	lucy	liu	,	deborah	kara	unger	running	time	:	104	minutes	.	brian	helgeland	,	the	guy	who	wrote	la	confidential	and	conspiracy	theory	,	finally	gets	the	chance	to	direct	,	with	this	unapologetically	tough	and	amoral	crime	thriller	.	mel	gibson	is	largely	playing	against	type	as	the	tough	,	repellent	anti	hero	porter	,	a	small	time	criminal	who	specialises	in	payroll	heists	.	during	a	payroll	robbery	,	porter	is	double	crossed	by	his	wife	and	her	lover	and	left	for	dead	.	the	sleazy	val	(	gregg	henry	)	,	who	likes	his	kinky	sex	with	a	sadistic	edge	,	owes	money	to	a	shadowy	criminal	syndicate	,	known	only	as	the	outfit	.	porter	comes	looking	for	vengeance	,	hoping	to	recover	his	half	of	the	stolen	money	from	val	,	who	has	managed	to	worm	his	way	back	in	with	the	outfit	.	porter's	quest	eventually	leads	him	into	an	escalating	war	with	the	outfit	and	its	ultimate	supremo	bronson	(	kris	kristofferson	,	wonderful	in	a	small	role	)	.	but	porter	has	his	own	moral	code	and	is	only	interested	in	getting	his	70	,	000	,	whatever	it	takes	.	"	you're	doing	this	for	a	principle	?	for	70	,	000	?	"	asks	an	astonished	james	coburn	.	"	hell	,	my	suits	cost	more	than	that	!	"	also	caught	in	the	cross	fire	are	the	usual	underworld	low	life	denizens	,	some	crooked	cops	,	and	stegman	(	david	paymer	)	,	a	slimy	taxi	despatcher	and	small	time	drug	dealer	with	ambitions	to	join	the	outfit	.	in	porter's	world	there	are	no	innocent	bystanders	.	porter's	only	ally	is	rosie	(	er's	maria	bello	)	,	a	high	priced	call	girl	for	whom	he	has	a	soft	spot	.	payback	is	actually	a	remake	of	john	boorman's	tough	and	visually	stylish	1967	crime	thriller	point	blank	,	which	featured	lee	marvin	.	that	film	was	also	again	loosely	remade	in	1974	,	as	the	outfit	,	with	robert	duvall	playing	the	role	of	the	vengeance	seeking	criminal	.	like	its	two	predecessors	,	payback	has	been	based	on	the	hunter	,	a	novel	written	by	richard	stark	(	a	pseudonym	used	by	donald	e	westlake	,	when	he	wanted	to	break	away	from	comic	capers	like	the	hot	rock	,	etc	,	and	write	tough	,	violent	,	genre	thrillers	)	.	and	payback	is	certainly	violent	!	gone	is	the	disposable	comic	book	like	violence	of	gibson's	lethal	weapon	series	,	replaced	with	a	more	disconcerting	,	vicious	,	callous	and	gratuitous	violence	.	helgeland's	direction	is	certainly	proficient	and	pacy	,	and	he	revels	in	the	graphic	blood	letting	.	helgeland	peppers	the	film	with	many	noir	like	touches	,	and	payback	also	has	a	deliberately	old	fashioned	,	'70's	look	about	it	.	helgeland	also	adds	a	touch	of	dark	humour	to	proceedings	.	he	wastes	few	moments	,	and	his	crisp	and	stylish	direction	is	the	perfect	cinematic	equivalent	of	stark's	terse	prose	.	gibson	was	apparently	unhappy	with	the	tyro	director's	finished	film	,	and	reshot	about	30	,	including	the	final	scenes	,	giving	helgeland's	original	vision	a	darker	tone	.	gibson	also	brought	in	kristofferson	to	play	the	mob	boss	.	gibson	brings	a	hard	,	unforgiving	edge	and	weary	quality	to	his	performance	as	a	ruthless	criminal	,	although	his	unsympathetic	choice	of	role	here	may	come	as	something	of	a	surprise	to	many	of	his	fans	.	the	performances	of	the	supporting	cast	are	solid	,	with	kristofferson	,	an	uncredited	coburn	,	and	william	devane	oozing	smarmy	sincerity	as	the	triumvirate	who	rule	the	outfit	.	although	a	slickly	produced	crime	thriller	,	payback	is	also	very	violent	,	and	one	of	gibson's	nastier	and	more	disposable	efforts	.
pos	directed	by	:	william	friedkin	written	by	:	james	webb	(	story	)	,	stephen	gaghan	"	rules	of	engagement	"	,	the	new	film	from	william	friedkin	(	you	remember	,	the	guy	who	directed	"	the	exorcist	"	way	back	when	)	,	is	something	of	an	enigma	.	it's	one	of	those	films	which	is	entirely	predictable	,	not	particularly	well	written	,	and	it's	all	stuff	we've	seen	before	.	however	,	there	is	something	about	it	that	holds	your	attention	despite	all	of	this	.	i	suppose	it	could	be	the	two	leads	,	tommy	lee	jones	and	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	two	of	the	better	actors	working	in	hollywood	today	.	it	could	also	be	that	friedkin	somehow	manages	to	keep	the	action	going	throughout	the	entire	film	so	that	you're	never	distracted	by	having	seen	all	this	before	.	whatever	the	reason	,	"	rules	of	engagement	"	is	one	of	those	bizarre	movies	like	"	the	13th	warrior	"	which	has	no	discernible	redeeming	qualities	,	but	i	was	incapable	of	disliking	.	colonel	terry	childers	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	is	a	decorated	marine	and	vietnam	veteran	.	his	latest	assignment	is	to	fly	into	yemen	with	a	squad	of	marines	and	rescue	an	ambassador	(	ben	kingsley	)	and	his	family	from	protestors	at	the	american	embassy	.	when	the	protestors	turn	violent	and	marines	are	killed	,	childers	orders	his	men	to	open	fire	on	the	crowd	,	killing	over	70	people	.	now	he	faces	a	court	martial	and	up	to	fifteen	years	in	prison	unless	he	can	prove	that	the	crowd	had	weapons	,	and	he	was	only	returning	fire	.	his	attorney	is	colonel	hayes	hodges	(	tommy	lee	jones	)	,	a	friend	whose	life	childers	saved	in	vietnam	.	the	prosecuting	attorney	is	the	slimy	major	mark	biggs	(	guy	pearce	)	,	who	has	been	hired	on	by	the	even	slimier	william	sokal	(	bruce	greenwood	)	,	who	wants	everything	pinned	on	childers	so	the	us	can	save	face	.	as	i	said	,	this	is	hardly	an	original	movie	since	obvious	similarities	to	1992's	"	a	few	good	men	"	exist	.	there	are	several	things	besides	the	lack	of	originality	which	really	hurt	this	film	.	one	is	the	absence	of	a	good	score	.	in	fact	,	there	is	hardly	any	music	at	all	in	"	rules	of	engagement	"	.	during	the	courtroom	and	battle	scenes	,	where	the	tension	is	palpable	and	the	audience	is	on	the	edge	of	their	seats	,	a	nice	dramatic	score	would	have	been	welcome	.	instead	,	we	are	given	overwhelmingly	loud	sound	effects	of	explosions	and	gun	shots	which	make	it	impossible	to	hear	what	is	being	said	.	on	the	bright	side	,	the	battle	scenes	are	very	realistically	filmed	,	especially	the	opening	scene	of	the	skirmish	in	vietnam	involving	childers	and	hodges'	unit	and	a	vc	squad	.	the	acting	in	"	rules	of	engagement	"	is	certainly	the	film's	high	point	.	samuel	l	.	jackson	is	the	perfect	choice	for	his	role	.	a	man	consumed	with	passion	(	jackson	is	at	his	best	when	playing	a	character	consumed	by	passion	)	for	his	job	and	his	country	.	jones	may	be	a	bit	miscast	as	an	alcoholic	loser	of	a	lawyer	,	but	he	turns	in	a	great	performance	anyway	.	ben	kingsley	(	"	species	"	,	"	what	planet	are	you	from	?	"	)	is	given	nothing	to	do	other	than	look	shifty	eyed	and	stutter	over	his	testimony	in	court	.	guy	pearce	,	who	gave	a	brilliant	performance	in	"	la	confidential	"	,	is	horribly	miscast	as	the	prosecuting	attorney	.	there	is	something	about	pearce's	performance	that	makes	major	biggs	seem	incredibly	slimy	(	too	much	so	in	fact	)	despite	the	fact	that	his	introduction	sets	the	character	up	as	something	of	a	boy	scout	.	there	are	certain	things	about	this	film	which	make	very	little	sense	.	for	example	,	bruce	greenwood's	(	"	double	jeopardy	"	)	character	is	given	a	video	tape	that	would	not	only	clear	childers	of	all	charges	,	but	would	get	the	us	out	of	trouble	as	well	.	instead	of	submitting	the	tape	as	evidence	,	he	tells	his	aid	:	"	i	don't	want	to	think	about	it	,	i	don't	want	to	see	it	,	i	don't	want	it	to	exist	.	"	not	only	does	it	not	make	sense	that	he	didn't	want	it	to	exist	,	but	it	makes	even	less	sense	that	he	would	tell	a	witness	.	the	only	other	thing	that	bothered	me	was	the	poor	editing	job	performed	here	.	not	only	are	long	,	sometimes	boring	sequences	not	edited	down	to	size	,	but	we	are	sometimes	given	quick	camera	cuts	from	person	to	person	during	the	courtroom	scenes	which	make	things	very	confusing	.	"	rules	of	engagement	"	runs	a	little	too	long	at	127	minutes	.	i	recommend	it	to	fans	of	tommy	lee	jones	and	samuel	l	jackson	since	they	are	both	given	a	chance	to	shine	here	.	i	give	the	film	two	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	.	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	.	see	it	if	you	have	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	young	recruit	gets	plucked	out	of	nowhere	by	the	number	one	gangster	in	london	and	quickly	becomes	a	staple	by	his	side	.	but	this	new	guy	is	not	like	all	the	others	,	he's	got	ambition	,	he's	got	goals	and	he	loves	everything	he	sees	about	being	the	number	one	gangster	.	violence	,	lots	of	swearing	and	betrayals	ensue	.	critique	:	a	very	good	,	serious	minded	,	unique	british	gangster	flick	which	misses	the	"	great	"	mark	by	way	of	an	annoying	voice	over	popping	up	throughout	the	film	and	a	so	so	ending	.	here's	yet	another	cool	crime	movie	that	actually	manages	to	bring	something	new	into	the	mix	.	okay	,	so	it's	not	entirely	new	,	but	it's	definitely	original	when	all	put	together	as	done	here	.	the	thing	i	liked	most	about	this	movie	was	its	authentic	portrayal	of	the	time	period	in	which	it	was	taking	place	.	it's	1968	and	these	dudes	are	looking	good	!	yes	,	it's	all	about	the	suits	,	fellas	.	.	.	the	italian	shoes	,	the	cufflinks	,	the	ties	and	the	birds	(	that's	ladies	,	for	those	uninitiated	)	hanging	around	you	.	here	are	a	bunch	of	horrible	men	,	gangsters	if	you	will	,	looking	sharp	,	talking	shit	and	busting	heads	all	over	the	place	.	but	that's	not	the	basis	of	this	movie	.	the	basis	of	this	film	comes	in	the	relationship	between	the	number	one	gangster	in	the	group	,	the	excellent	david	thewlis	,	and	one	of	his	cronies	,	paul	bettany	,	also	extremely	good	in	this	film	,	and	how	the	power	,	sex	appeal	and	coolness	of	one	,	affects	the	other	.	you	know	how	there	are	always	these	"	hanger	on	"	gangster	types	who	latch	on	to	the	godfathers	,	the	leaders	,	the	top	dogs	of	every	crime	organization	?	well	,	most	of	the	time	,	these	dudes	are	screened	beforehand	and	are	loyal	to	only	one	person	.	.	.	that	is	,	their	boss	.	so	all	the	gangster	number	one	needs	to	worry	about	is	his	enemies	on	the	other	side	of	the	fence	.	but	this	film	brings	the	betrayals	,	the	messed	up	loyalties	,	the	honor	codes	among	bad	guys	into	play	within	the	same	group	and	presents	it	in	quite	the	stylistic	package	.	of	course	,	director	paul	mcguigan	isn't	trying	to	be	guy	ritchie	here	,	and	doesn't	over	stylize	his	presentation	,	jazz	it	all	up	with	a	hip	soundtrack	or	add	any	humor	to	the	mix	.	nope	,	he	goes	straight	for	the	serious	stuff	and	develops	at	least	two	particular	scenes	which	are	still	embedded	in	my	mind	as	i	type	this	.	the	first	is	a	confrontation	sequence	between	bettany	and	a	man	from	which	he's	attempting	to	sway	some	information	and	it	is	downright	nasty	!	(	"	look	into	my	eyes	!	"	)	in	fact	,	the	last	time	that	i've	seen	a	guy	so	scared	in	a	movie	was	john	turturro	in	that	forest	scene	from	the	coen	brothers'	miller's	crossing	.	scary	shite	.	but	there's	an	ever	better	scene	than	that	in	this	film	.	this	one	features	bettany	,	once	again	,	slowly	torturing	,	hacking	and	beating	the	living	piss	out	of	a	rival	gangster	(	from	that	man's	point	of	view	)	,	but	not	before	turning	on	a	quaint	little	tune	in	the	background	and	removing	all	of	his	own	expensive	clothes	,	one	by	one	(	that's	right	,	he	"	does	"	the	guy	in	his	underwear	)	.	that	scene	is	also	in	tune	with	some	of	the	obvious	phallic	and	homoerotic	undertones	present	throughout	this	film	,	especially	in	the	relationship	between	bettany	and	his	boss	(	why	does	he	get	so	upset	when	he	falls	in	love	with	that	woman	?	)	.	but	the	flick's	not	perfect	.	in	fact	,	i	didn't	mind	malcolm	mcdowell's	voice	over	narration	at	first	,	but	as	the	film	grew	into	a	major	flashback	(	most	of	the	film	is	presented	as	such	)	,	he	came	in	every	now	and	then	,	and	rarely	added	anything	of	interest	to	the	plot	.	all	he	seemed	to	do	was	swear	and	call	people	the	c	word	umpteen	times	,	and	even	described	one	scene	as	it	was	happening	(	"	.	.	.	so	i	opened	the	door	,	then	went	up	the	lift	,	etc	.	.	.	.	"	it's	like	,	yeah	,	i	know	that	already	,	i	could	see	it	on	the	screen	!	!	overdone	.	)	.	i	also	didn't	quite	"	buy	"	the	ending	of	the	movie	,	which	despite	being	original	,	seemed	a	little	unbelievable	,	especially	when	you	consider	that	it's	supposed	to	be	taking	place	30	years	later	,	and	folks	still	seem	to	be	holding	grudges	,	still	in	love	,	still	living	in	the	same	apartments	?	?	!	?	i	mean	,	c'mon	.	.	.	it's	30	years	,	man	!	!	i	don't	know	,	somehow	it	didn't	work	all	that	well	for	me	.	but	one	of	my	favorite	genres	has	always	been	the	crime	movies	,	and	this	one	is	a	decent	addition	to	the	lot	.	forget	the	lame	title	and	malcolm	mcdowell's	narration	of	the	obvious	plot	points	,	and	concentrate	on	the	film's	stronger	attributes	such	as	its	style	,	the	exquisite	atmosphere	of	the	time	period	,	its	original	look	at	the	gangster	dynamic	within	the	same	group	,	its	memorable	sequences	and	the	solid	performances	from	its	two	main	leads	,	bettany	and	thewlis	.	incidentally	,	unlike	a	few	of	the	gangster	flicks	that	i	mention	below	,	this	one	is	in	no	way	a	parody	or	homage	to	this	genre	of	films	.	.	.	it's	the	real	deal	!	note	:	this	film	is	packed	with	strong	accents	all	around	,	which	makes	it	hard	to	make	out	some	of	the	words	from	time	to	time	.	it's	also	quite	violent	and	i	don't	remember	any	film	that	used	the	c	word	as	much	as	this	one	,	so	leave	the	kids	at	home	for	this	one	.	.	.	;	)	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	american	psycho	(	10	10	)	a	clockwork	orange	(	9	10	)	donnie	brasco	(	8	10	)	fight	club	(	10	10	)	get	carter	(	7	10	)	godfather	(	10	10	)	godfather	ii	(	10	10	)	goodfellas	(	10	10	)	lock	,	stock	two	smoking	barrels	(	8	10	)	pulp	fiction	(	8	10	)	reservoir	dogs	(	9	10	)
pos	capsule	:	this	is	a	film	that	avoids	easy	answers	.	wilhelm	furtwangler	,	then	the	world's	greatest	orchestra	conductor	stayed	in	germany	and	cooperated	with	the	nazis	.	what	were	his	views	,	was	he	a	war	criminal	or	a	secret	resistance	fighter	?	how	much	did	he	know	about	crimes	against	humanity	?	the	us	government	investigated	him	after	the	war	and	this	film	is	a	dramatization	of	that	investigation	.	rating	:	8	(	0	to	10	)	,	high	2	(	4	to	4	)	in	my	opinion	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	last	few	years	is	istvan	szabo's	sunshine	,	a	film	that	covers	the	fortunes	of	a	jewish	hungarian	family	under	the	reigns	of	three	different	regimes	,	hungarian	aristocrats	,	nazis	,	and	communists	.	szabo's	follow	up	film	,	a	german	production	,	is	much	more	limited	in	scope	.	it	is	about	the	post	war	investigation	of	who	criminally	supported	the	nazis	and	who	opposed	them	.	ronald	harwood's	screenplay	ambiguously	looks	at	the	investigation	of	a	great	classical	music	conductor	who	stayed	on	in	germany	when	the	nazis	took	power	and	became	the	most	popular	conductor	of	the	third	reich	.	maj	.	steve	arnold	(	played	by	harvey	keitel	)	has	been	assigned	by	his	superiors	to	investigate	wilhelm	furtwangler	(	stellan	skarsgard	)	,	perhaps	europe's	greatest	classical	music	conductor	.	when	other	artists	fled	germany	,	furtwangler	remained	behind	and	conducted	for	the	hitler	and	his	henchmen	.	after	the	war	is	over	arnold	assigned	to	interview	furtwangler	and	members	of	his	orchestra	and	if	appropriate	to	prosecute	him	for	war	crimes	.	he	secretly	is	told	by	his	commanding	officer	to	find	furtwangler	guilty	.	from	there	we	follow	him	and	learn	a	little	about	arnold	and	something	about	furtwangler	and	his	orchestra	.	as	he	interviews	members	of	the	wartime	orchestra	arnold	starts	noticing	odd	peculiarities	that	may	or	may	not	point	to	a	conspiracy	against	his	investigation	.	there	is	a	certain	sameness	to	the	responses	that	he	is	getting	.	perhaps	any	cooperation	he	is	getting	has	been	in	some	ways	managed	.	if	so	,	perhaps	he	can	never	come	to	the	truth	.	in	large	part	the	film	is	about	mind	games	that	arnold	uses	to	manipulate	his	interviewees	and	especially	furtwangler	.	where	the	script	has	problems	is	that	in	the	end	it	is	so	ambiguous	.	it	has	no	obvious	resolution	and	not	much	of	a	final	act	.	when	it	is	over	whether	anything	has	been	established	is	open	to	interpretation	.	perhaps	that	is	better	than	so	many	films	that	make	it	all	to	obvious	what	the	audience	should	believe	,	but	it	is	like	watching	a	murder	mystery	and	never	finding	out	who	the	killer	is	.	we	are	given	clues	to	something	but	they	are	never	tied	up	.	in	the	end	we	just	know	more	about	both	arnold	and	furtwangler	.	the	film	is	basically	a	stage	play	.	the	visual	is	not	very	important	.	corners	are	cut	visually	including	touches	like	filling	windows	with	photographs	to	avoid	having	to	shoot	on	location	.	as	with	a	stage	play	,	what	this	film	centers	on	the	dialog	,	and	that	is	intriguing	.	i	rate	the	film	an	8	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	high	2	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.	there	is	one	piece	of	sloppiness	few	people	but	me	would	notice	.	at	one	point	we	clearly	see	arnold's	desk	calendar	say	"	jan	16	tues	.	"	a	quick	mental	calculation	told	me	that	combination	could	occur	in	1945	and	then	not	again	until	1951	.	the	events	had	to	take	place	in	1946	or	1947	.	a	possible	date	could	be	obtained	from	any	world	almanac	.
pos	director	:	anand	tucker	writer	:	frank	cotrell	boyce	(	based	on	the	novel	"	a	genius	in	the	family	"	by	hilary	du	pr	and	piers	du	pr	)	starring	:	emily	watson	,	rachel	griffiths	,	david	morissey	,	james	frain	,	charles	dance	,	celia	imrie	,	rupert	penry	jones	,	bill	patterson	,	auriol	evans	,	keely	flanders	maybe	the	most	important	thing	about	this	movie	is	that	it's	not	handled	like	the	hallmark	hall	of	fame	movie	of	the	month	,	because	it	very	well	could	have	been	a	manipulative	tearjerker	,	broadcasted	on	abc	on	a	monday	night	,	starring	kelly	martin	and	yasmeen	bleeth	,	respectively	.	because	it's	not	handled	like	the	greatest	story	ever	told	is	precisely	why	it's	so	great	.	underneath	the	to	die	for	cinematography	,	the	brilliant	acting	,	and	incessantly	wonderful	direction	is	a	film	of	modesty	,	not	sure	whether	or	not	this	story	is	totally	great	but	with	the	balls	to	run	with	it	,	tell	it	in	a	certain	original	way	.	it	doesn't	merely	go	from	plot	point	to	plot	point	.	it	goes	from	character	to	character	.	it	obsesses	itself	with	the	depth	and	the	style	of	it	all	,	and	makes	the	story	of	a	world	reknowned	cellist	who	contracts	ms	and	dies	prematurely	into	the	story	of	two	sisters	,	both	musicians	,	who	have	a	totally	unique	relationship	.	it's	that	their	relationship	is	the	center	of	the	story	that	makes	this	film	transcend	any	cornball	,	shamelessly	tired	tearjerker	qualities	it	could	have	had	and	makes	this	,	unlike	"	patch	adams	,	"	effortlessly	emotional	and	real	.	in	short	,	this	movie	is	just	awesome	.	it	merely	tells	its	story	really	well	,	and	that's	something	that	just	has	to	be	commended	these	days	,	when	most	stories	are	botched	because	they're	not	told	by	great	storytellers	.	director	anand	tucker	tells	this	story	well	.	he	overdramaticizes	everything	,	but	still	keeps	it	real	.	the	film	tells	the	story	of	hilary	and	jacqueline	du	pr	(	rachel	griffiths	and	emily	watson	,	respectively	)	,	two	sisters	who	are	first	seen	in	childhood	(	played	by	auriol	evans	and	keely	flanders	,	respectively	)	as	the	very	best	of	friends	.	they	are	also	both	musicians	,	hilary	a	flutist	and	jackie	a	cellist	,	and	when	it	all	begins	,	both	are	considered	child	prodigies	,	but	hilary	is	seen	as	the	better	of	the	two	.	jackie	,	a	bit	jealous	,	works	and	works	at	her	playing	skills	,	and	soon	the	tables	are	turned	.	when	they	both	hit	adulthood	,	hilary	strives	for	a	comeback	,	while	her	sister	is	playing	in	famous	halls	around	the	world	,	but	instead	of	fame	,	captures	the	heart	of	a	hapless	,	joyful	conductor	,	kiffer	finzi	(	david	morissey	,	in	a	semi	star	making	turn	)	.	they	marry	,	after	a	short	courtship	,	and	move	to	a	lovely	country	house	,	making	jackie	incredibly	jealous	since	her	cello	playing	becomes	a	symbol	of	her	current	life	:	when	she	plays	,	she	has	the	eyes	of	the	world	,	but	when	she	stops	,	she's	alone	.	she	enters	into	a	shallow	relationship	with	an	equally	famous	pianist	,	daniel	barenboim	(	james	frain	)	,	in	hopes	that	she	may	overcloud	her	sister	,	but	she	eventually	begins	to	lose	it	,	and	runs	away	to	hilary's	country	home	,	where	she	hopes	to	gain	admittance	by	hilary	to	sleep	with	her	husband	,	since	no	one	she	sleeps	with	gives	her	any	pleasure	.	it's	all	terribly	melodramtic	,	as	you	can	see	,	and	by	the	time	jackie	has	contracted	ms	(	in	a	brilliantly	edited	scene	that	surpasses	the	breakdown	scene	in	the	semi	smiliar	"	shine	"	in	technical	and	emotional	devastation	)	,	it	would	have	been	the	time	that	i	could	easily	call	the	sign	for	melodramatic	overload	if	it	hadn't	been	handled	in	such	a	way	.	the	key	thing	here	is	that	it's	not	about	her	gradual	death	and	slip	into	insanity	but	rather	that	it's	about	her	tumultuous	relationship	with	her	sister	,	which	,	i	might	add	,	is	perfectly	realized	.	their	relationship	is	the	most	down	to	earth	complex	entity	of	the	year	:	they	love	eachother	more	than	anyone	else	in	the	entire	world	,	but	they're	also	completely	jealous	of	one	another	.	when	a	young	jackie	surpasses	her	playing	abilities	,	she	tries	in	vain	to	make	a	comeback	but	can't	,	and	almost	seems	to	marry	to	get	back	at	jackie	for	her	success	.	when	jackie	lands	on	top	and	sees	her	sister	marry	a	wonderful	man	,	she	is	jealous	of	her	lifestyle	to	the	most	extensive	brinks	that	i've	ever	seen	in	a	film	(	only	two	sisters	who	truly	love	eachother	would	dare	share	the	same	man	)	.	and	the	whole	time	,	their	love	for	eachother	is	never	doubted	or	even	tested	.	another	thing	i	really	liked	is	emily	watson's	performance	.	i	usually	make	it	a	note	to	never	overpraise	an	actor	for	playing	either	a	drunkard	or	a	lunatic	or	someone	with	a	mortal	disease	(	or	any	combination	of	the	three	)	.	my	reasoning	for	this	is	that	it's	a	fucking	easy	job	.	the	worst	case	for	this	very	year	may	be	thandie	newton	in	"	beloved	"	:	sure	,	she's	good	,	but	what's	so	tough	about	playing	a	woman	who	stumbles	around	,	slurs	her	words	together	,	and	acts	like	a	three	year	old	inside	a	20	year	old's	body	?	hell	,	i	could	play	that	if	i	had	a	pair	of	breasts	.	in	that	same	exact	movie	,	though	,	is	a	performance	by	kimberly	elise	where	she	has	to	be	the	rock	that	holds	the	family	together	as	her	mother	slowly	goes	insane	,	her	brothers	run	off	never	to	be	seen	again	,	and	her	mother's	lover	is	scared	off	.	she	has	to	actually	deal	with	real	emotions	,	something	much	harder	than	mere	stumbling	about	.	but	the	academy	of	arts	and	sciences	loves	loves	loves	overpraising	performances	like	newtons	.	if	you	don't	believe	me	,	look	at	jack	nicholson's	performance	in	"	as	good	as	it	gets	"	:	great	performance	,	but	easy	job	.	this	isn't	so	for	watson	,	though	,	because	her	insanity	comes	from	real	emotions	,	not	just	a	plot	point	.	and	thanks	to	the	opening	sequence	,	where	we	see	her	and	hilary	as	kids	,	we	understand	the	motives	behind	all	her	actions	,	and	by	the	time	she	actually	contracts	ms	and	begins	to	loose	her	sanity	and	her	life	,	we've	already	understood	that	this	is	the	last	straw	for	a	woman	plagued	with	terrible	neuroses	.	rachel	griffiths	,	who	would	have	otherwise	been	the	understudy	to	watson's	protagonist	,	actually	matches	watson	step	for	step	,	because	as	watson	grows	insane	,	and	demands	unspeakable	things	from	her	,	griffiths	holds	her	own	,	and	has	to	deal	with	what	she	is	able	to	give	her	sister	who	needs	emotional	help	from	her	.	griffiths	,	an	otherwise	unknown	actress	(	and	watson	being	famous	from	"	breaking	the	waves	"	and	"	the	boxer	"	)	,	is	absolutely	brilliant	,	just	as	absolutely	brilliant	as	watson	is	,	and	if	the	academy	and	all	the	other	critics	groups	,	who've	already	deemed	watson's	performance	the	best	of	the	year	,	glance	over	hers	because	she's	the	one	who	doesn't	get	to	go	insane	(	read	:	she	gets	the	boring	role	)	,	then	the	scream	of	hysteria	you	hear	will	be	from	me	.	after	all	,	griffiths	has	the	thankless	job	of	keeping	things	real	the	tom	cruise	role	in	"	rainman	"	(	the	one	who	should	have	gotten	oscar	consideration	and	not	hoffman	)	.	she	does	,	and	if	anyone	deserves	accolades	from	the	academy	this	year	,	it's	griffiths	.	together	,	the	two	actresses	work	extremely	well	,	though	,	and	both	have	to	go	through	deep	emotional	hell	,	the	likes	of	which	haven't	been	seen	this	year	.	if	it	hadn't	been	for	an	otherwise	not	totally	great	final	section	that	deals	way	too	much	with	jackie	and	not	enough	with	hilary	(	when	the	two	had	gotten	equal	treatment	for	the	entirety	)	,	i'd	say	this	is	one	of	the	top	ten	best	films	of	the	year	.	it's	so	close	to	perfection	,	in	its	structure	,	its	treatment	of	its	subject	,	and	its	beautiful	technical	specifications	(	cinematography	nomination	,	without	a	shred	of	doubt	in	my	mind	,	and	maybe	film	editing	)	,	that	it's	nearly	a	shame	that	it's	not	the	flawless	gem	that	it	should	be	.	but	,	hey	,	as	it	is	,	i	can	hardly	complain	.
pos	usually	when	one	is	debating	who	the	modern	queen	of	the	romantic	comedy	is	they	will	bring	up	names	like	julia	roberts	or	sandra	bullock	.	others	will	mention	meg	ryan	.	but	for	me	,	it's	not	even	close	.	janeane	garofalo	is	not	only	the	queen	of	the	romantic	comedy	,	she	is	the	best	comic	actress	in	hollywood	right	now	.	and	it's	a	good	thing	she's	starring	in	the	matchmaker	,	because	without	her	presence	the	movie	would	be	bland	,	unfunny	,	and	dull	.	the	movie	runs	into	a	few	roadblocks	.	for	instance	,	the	story	is	very	thin	.	none	of	the	characters	(	except	the	old	local	matchmaker	)	are	nearly	as	interesting	as	garofalo	.	some	of	the	characters	,	like	the	political	aide	played	by	denis	leary	,	have	wandered	in	from	a	completely	different	movie	.	i	think	the	director	realized	this	and	decided	to	throw	in	numerous	shots	of	the	beautiful	irish	scenery	,	and	several	close	ups	of	garofalo's	winning	smile	.	the	strange	thing	is	that	it	works	.	garofalo's	charm	and	the	irish	scenery	could	carry	the	thinnest	of	stories	,	and	it	carries	this	one	.
pos	writer	director	:	john	maybury	starring	:	derek	jacobi	,	daniel	craig	,	anne	lambton	,	tilda	swinton	,	adrian	scarborough	,	karl	johnson	,	annabel	brooks	,	richard	newbould	"	love	is	the	devil	"	is	a	challenging	film	,	munundating	its	audience	with	wild	imagery	and	a	plot	structure	that	disallows	a	plot	,	perhaps	in	an	attempt	to	get	us	to	know	the	artist's	psyche	rather	than	the	artist's	lifeline	.	watching	it	,	i	was	enthralled	with	the	look	of	the	film	,	the	way	the	director	shot	everything	like	it	was	looking	through	a	bizarre	,	personalized	filter	.	everything	looks	like	it	is	not	how	life	looks	like	but	how	painter	francis	bacon	,	the	film's	subject	,	looked	at	it	personally	.	but	while	i	was	engrossed	,	i	stumbled	upon	my	thoughts	halfway	through	the	film	,	awakened	from	my	trance	by	some	inner	distraction	,	and	began	to	try	and	follow	what's	going	on	.	exactly	what	was	i	looking	at	?	watching	this	film	,	i	wasn't	sure	if	it	was	the	most	insightful	film	i	had	ever	seen	or	the	most	vacuous	.	directed	(	and	written	)	by	john	maybury	,	"	love	is	the	devil	"	is	stylish	masterpiece	for	the	senses	.	everything	looks	originally	bizarre	and	perplexing	.	the	camera	angles	are	ferociously	askew	,	and	the	close	ups	are	uncomfortably	too	close	.	the	editing	is	deft	,	occasionally	cutting	away	to	something	bizarre	every	couple	seconds	,	but	other	times	holding	on	a	shot	for	so	long	that	you	wonder	if	the	audience	is	not	supposed	to	be	voyeurs	,	or	rather	,	intruders	to	bacon's	world	and	psyche	.	as	such	,	there	is	no	real	story	.	i've	not	heard	much	about	francis	bacon	that	i	didn't	read	prior	to	the	film	,	but	what	i	learned	was	this	:	he	was	a	painter	in	england	who	reached	his	peak	during	the	60s	and	70s	,	drawing	hideously	bizarre	drawings	of	carnage	and	the	like	.	he	was	one	of	the	first	to	really	come	out	of	the	closet	,	and	in	interviews	,	he	was	notoriously	drunk	yet	incredibly	witty	.	as	played	by	great	shakesperean	actor	derek	jacobi	,	he's	like	a	foppish	and	self	absorbed	cross	between	oscar	wilde	and	nero	.	he	lives	life	the	way	he	wants	to	live	it	,	to	the	disatisfaction	of	those	who	have	the	privelege	of	being	really	close	to	him	.	it's	as	if	he	were	taking	delight	in	the	destruction	of	others	and	maybe	himself	(	"	champagne	for	my	real	friends	,	and	pain	for	my	sham	friends	,	"	he	says	one	night	at	the	bar	he	frequents	)	.	"	love	is	the	devil	"	chronicles	the	latter	part	of	his	life	.	bacon	,	well	known	in	his	mid	life	,	awakens	one	night	when	he	hears	a	man	tumble	through	his	ceiling	window	and	land	on	the	floor	.	he	walks	in	,	unafraid	of	what	he	finds	,	and	discovers	a	thief	,	george	dyer	(	daniel	craig	)	.	bacon	gives	him	an	offer	:	if	he	spends	the	night	with	him	,	he	can	take	anything	he	wants	in	the	morning	.	george	agrees	to	this	,	and	off	to	bed	he	goes	,	but	ends	up	staying	with	him	,	for	whatever	reason	.	the	film	shows	their	lives	together	,	at	least	in	reference	to	one	another	.	while	creating	bacon's	world	of	friends	(	like	"	high	art	,	"	this	film	minors	in	showing	a	certain	group	of	people	who	radiate	a	connection	that	is	not	shown	but	is	understood	)	,	the	film	shows	the	relationship	of	bacon	and	george	as	it	remains	rather	stagnant	.	bacon	is	haughty	and	bizarre	;	george	is	simple	and	doesn't	understand	bacon	in	the	least	,	especially	not	his	paintings	.	while	watching	this	,	that's	basically	all	i	thought	was	there	.	the	film	has	a	hypnotic	feel	,	free	of	any	restraints	of	form	,	and	is	shot	so	uniquely	that	i	felt	my	attention	was	almost	entirely	on	the	way	this	film	was	made	rather	than	what	it	is	about	.	once	the	film	is	over	,	it's	easier	to	piece	it	together	.	i	kept	on	thinking	about	this	film	,	wondering	what	the	point	to	all	of	it	was	.	someone	doesn't	merely	make	a	film	of	all	style	and	no	substance	at	all	,	and	if	they	do	,	they	do	it	by	accident	,	but	still	allow	some	substance	to	creep	in	.	thinking	about	it	,	i	remembered	how	the	two	fed	off	of	eachother	.	i	thought	about	how	bacon	was	a	masochist	,	in	love	with	cruelty	(	in	one	scene	,	he	watches	a	boxing	match	with	a	orgiastic	delight	,	and	lets	out	a	squeal	of	pleasure	when	blood	from	the	one	boxer's	head	splashes	across	his	face	;	in	another	scene	,	he	masturbates	to	the	odessa	steps	sequence	of	eisenstein's	"	battleship	potemkin	"	)	,	and	perhaps	he	drove	george	too	far	in	his	delight	for	pain	.	he	drove	him	over	the	edge	,	and	for	him	that	was	love	,	even	if	it	wasn't	for	george	.	i	guess	that	explains	the	title	.	a	bit	.	that's	great	and	all	,	but	i	almost	wish	the	film	was	devoid	of	any	meaning	.	i	wish	it	hadn't	reduced	itself	to	making	some	point	about	humanity	,	about	how	love	is	the	most	selfish	thing	in	the	world	(	and	it	is	,	if	you	look	at	it	a	certain	way	)	.	or	maybe	if	it	had	avoided	any	meaning	about	humanity	and	merely	drove	itself	into	being	the	one	film	that	was	truly	inside	one	man's	twisted	pysche	.	it's	almost	always	best	to	obtain	insights	from	looking	at	one	man's	uniqueness	than	it	is	forcing	universality	down	an	audience's	throat	.	that	way	you	don't	reduce	your	film	to	something	it's	just	not	.	i	can't	say	i	totally	enjoyed	"	love	is	the	devil	,	"	though	.	despite	all	of	the	things	i	respect	about	this	movie	,	it's	still	rather	uncomfortable	to	sit	through	.	even	at	a	normally	trite	length	of	ninety	minutes	,	the	film	still	seems	like	an	arduous	task	to	sit	through	,	especially	after	an	exhausting	first	hour	.	though	hypnotic	,	it	still	almost	seems	gimmicky	and	even	redundant	at	times	,	as	if	it	were	taking	advantage	of	one	man's	truly	bizarre	nature	but	not	doing	anything	deeper	with	it	.	as	such	,	i	respect	the	way	the	film	looks	.	it's	beautiful	and	painstakingly	crafted	so	that	,	along	with	"	what	dreams	may	come	"	and	"	dark	city	,	"	it's	the	year's	most	visually	stunning	film	.	in	fact	,	if	a	better	script	had	been	forged	,	i'd	almost	compare	it	in	visual	power	to	a	peter	greenaway	film	,	complete	with	similar	haunting	images	that	stick	in	the	mind	forever	.	and	with	a	dymanite	performance	by	derek	jacobi	,	it	has	the	comic	and	distanced	tone	that	it	needs	.	i	just	wish	it	had	been	more	than	mostly	style	and	just	a	hair	bit	of	substance	.	then	i	would	have	had	something	to	hold	me	over	even	now	.
pos	analyze	this	(	m	)	.	(	warner	bros	village	roadshow	)	director	:	harold	ramis	stars	:	robert	de	niro	,	billy	crystal	,	lisa	kudrow	,	chazz	palminteri	,	joseph	viterelli	,	kyle	sahiby	,	leo	rossi	,	richard	castellano	,	bill	macy	,	jimmie	ray	weeks	,	ira	wheeler	,	tony	bennett	running	time	:	103	minutes	.	robert	de	niro	lightens	up	slightly	as	he	takes	the	mickey	out	of	the	sort	of	character	he	has	specialised	in	playing	during	his	thirty	year	film	career	.	the	mannerisms	are	the	same	,	as	is	the	intensity	,	but	in	this	comedy	from	harold	ramis	(	groundhog	day	,	etc	)	they	are	given	a	comic	spin	.	de	niro	plays	paul	vitti	,	a	tough	new	york	mobster	who	is	having	anxiety	attacks	.	desperate	to	find	a	cure	before	a	planned	meeting	between	all	the	gangster	families	,	vitti	secretly	seeks	psychiatric	help	.	the	unlucky	doctor	is	ben	sobel	(	billy	crystal	)	,	a	family	therapist	anxious	to	break	out	of	the	shadow	of	his	more	famous	father	,	an	up	market	psychiatrist	,	best	selling	author	and	multi	media	personality	.	although	ben	recognises	the	challenge	in	working	with	vitti	,	he	is	about	to	take	a	week	off	work	and	marry	his	fiancee	(	friends'	star	lisa	kudrow	)	,	a	tv	journalist	.	however	,	a	powerful	mobster	like	vitti	doesn't	easily	take	"	no	"	for	an	answer	,	and	ben's	simple	life	is	turned	upside	down	.	he	becomes	heavily	involved	in	vitti's	cut	throat	and	violent	world	.	this	unusual	premise	works	a	treat	under	ramis'	slick	direction	.	there	are	plenty	of	superb	one	liners	and	throw	away	visual	gags	,	and	even	the	homage	to	the	godfather	works	beautifully	.	in	one	scene	,	ben	tries	to	explain	complex	freudian	concepts	to	the	hot	headed	mobster	.	in	another	,	vitti	turns	the	tables	on	ben	by	probing	his	fears	,	thus	proving	that	even	gangsters	have	rare	insights	into	human	nature	.	de	niro	doesn't	make	many	comedies	(	the	disappointing	we're	no	angels	is	a	rare	exception	)	,	but	he	seems	to	be	enjoying	himself	in	a	rare	comic	role	that	enables	him	to	put	a	different	spin	on	the	type	of	character	that	he	has	made	his	own	.	in	a	welcome	return	to	form	,	crystal	holds	his	own	against	the	volatile	and	intimidating	de	niro	.	kudrow	,	who	added	spark	to	the	wonderful	the	opposite	of	sex	,	is	given	little	to	do	as	ben's	fastidious	fiancee	.	chazz	palminteri	(	the	usual	suspects	,	etc	)	is	also	wasted	in	a	small	and	increasingly	familiar	role	as	a	tough	gangster	who'd	rather	exchange	bullets	than	words	.	if	anyone	comes	close	to	stealing	the	acting	honours	it	is	joe	viterelli	(	bullets	over	broadway	,	etc	)	,	who	gives	a	wonderful	performance	as	vitti's	rotund	body	guard	,	the	aptly	named	jelly	.	analyze	this	is	a	far	cry	from	the	mean	streets	that	de	niro	ordinarily	inhabits	,	but	it	is	an	interesting	and	entertaining	diversion	through	less	travelled	territory	for	,	arguably	,	america's	greatest	living	screen	actor	.
pos	elmore	leonard	has	quickly	become	one	of	hollywood's	favorite	authors	.	out	of	four	film	adaptations	in	as	many	years	,	the	witty	and	inventive	out	of	sight	gives	get	shorty	a	run	for	its	money	as	the	best	leonard	adaptation	around	.	george	clooney	stars	as	jack	foley	,	a	nice	bank	robber	.	.	.	you	know	the	type	,	he	uses	his	charm	and	his	wits	rather	than	a	gun	.	but	even	charming	guys	end	up	unlucky	,	and	jack	ends	up	in	jail	.	but	not	for	long	.	he	plots	an	escape	with	the	help	of	his	best	friend	,	and	fellow	robber	,	buddy	bragg	(	ving	rhames	)	,	and	their	slow	witted	pothead	associate	,	glenn	michaels	(	steve	zahn	)	.	but	jack	didn't	count	on	u	.	s	.	marshal	karen	sisco	(	jennifer	lopez	)	.	appearing	at	the	right	place	at	the	wrong	time	,	karen	gets	involved	in	foley's	escape	attempt	and	the	subsequent	manhunt	to	bring	him	in	.	however	,	karen	develops	a	rapport	with	jack	foley	,	and	finds	that	she	begrudgingly	likes	the	guy	.	but	,	can	love	prosper	on	opposite	sides	of	the	law	?	or	can	karen	straighten	out	jack	before	he	goes	too	far	in	pursuit	of	just	one	last	crime	.	clooney	,	who	has	had	a	string	of	solid	,	but	never	stellar	,	film	roles	,	delivers	his	best	performance	to	date	.	he	blends	into	his	role	here	perfectly	as	the	risk	taking	jack	foley	,	who's	willing	to	gamble	everything	on	the	chance	that	karen	sisco	might	be	his	true	love	.	jennifer	lopez	does	an	excellent	job	as	well	.	she	actually	has	a	trickier	role	than	clooney	,	as	a	woman	who	has	to	balance	her	emotions	with	her	sense	of	duty	.	she	and	clooney	develop	good	chemistry	together	.	the	film	boasts	a	superb	ensemble	.	steve	zahn	gives	a	hilarious	performance	,	and	steals	nearly	every	scene	he's	in	.	don	cheadle	is	appropriately	sinister	as	a	violent	ex	con	who	may	or	may	not	be	teaming	up	with	foley	.	albert	brooks	is	enjoyable	as	a	white	collar	criminal	who	talks	too	much	for	his	own	good	.	out	of	the	cast	,	only	dennis	farina	seems	underused	as	karen's	ex	lawman	father	.	steven	soderbergh	gives	the	film	sharp	and	stylistic	direction	.	with	an	affectation	for	freeze	frames	,	he	delivers	a	unique	take	on	the	film's	action	and	love	scenes	that	places	out	of	sight	a	notch	above	routine	crime	films	.	a	recurring	series	of	flashbacks	makes	the	film	seem	more	complex	than	it	actually	is	.	devoid	of	its	bells	and	whistles	,	out	of	sight	is	actually	a	fairly	straightforward	crime	story	.	however	,	there	are	only	a	few	spots	in	the	film	that	seem	bare	,	and	they	pass	quickly	.	with	smart	dialogue	,	good	characters	,	and	an	excellent	cast	,	out	of	sight	easily	smoothes	over	the	rough	spots	in	the	plot	and	delivers	on	both	the	action	and	romantic	fronts	.
pos	see	this	review	the	way	it	was	meant	to	be	seen	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a	cast	:	garry	shandling	,	annette	bening	,	greg	kinnear	,	ben	kingsley	,	linda	fiorentino	,	john	goodman	,	judy	greer	,	nora	dunn	,	camryn	manheim	,	ann	cusack	written	by	:	garry	shandling	,	michael	leeson	,	ed	solomon	and	peter	tolan	directed	by	:	mike	nichols	running	time	:	104	minutes	garry	shandling	makes	his	long	overdue	starring	film	debut	as	an	alien	from	a	planet	populated	only	by	genetically	created	men	,	who	are	looking	to	take	over	the	earth	by	propagating	their	own	species	there	.	shandling	is	chosen	for	the	mission	,	is	given	the	name	harold	anderson	,	and	is	set	up	as	a	banker	in	seattle	.	after	a	few	disastrous	"	mating	"	attempts	,	he	figures	his	best	bet	will	be	susan	(	annette	bening	)	,	a	former	alcoholic	who	eventually	tells	harold	that	she	won't	have	sex	again	until	she	gets	married	.	the	leader	of	harold's	planet	(	ben	kingsley	)	tells	him	to	marry	her	,	and	harold	is	soon	exposed	to	all	the	"	joys	"	of	married	life	.	despite	its	title	and	premise	which	seem	to	imply	that	this	is	some	jerry	lewis	vehicle	from	the	late	1960s	,	what	planet	are	you	from	?	is	a	very	funny	movie	.	the	plot	(	which	the	film	wisely	doesn't	linger	on	the	specifics	of	for	too	long	)	is	of	course	nothing	more	than	framework	for	the	jokes	,	most	of	which	work	very	well	.	the	material	may	be	considered	crude	and	tasteless	by	many	,	and	i	might	have	thought	so	as	well	had	shandling	not	been	the	lead	.	but	he	brings	a	sort	of	pathetic	charm	to	the	role	,	and	it's	his	performance	that	makes	the	film	truly	funny	instead	of	just	offensive	.	plus	if	you	think	about	it	,	what	planet	are	you	from	?	could	have	very	easily	gone	the	gross	out	route	(	considering	that	shandling's	character	is	given	a	detachable	penis	that	vibrates	and	hums	when	he	gets	excited	)	.	we	never	see	anything	though	,	it's	all	implied	,	which	gives	the	film	a	touch	of	class	amidst	its	crudeness	.	i'm	glad	to	see	that	someone	in	hollywood	still	understands	the	concept	of	"	less	is	more	"	.	the	talented	supporting	cast	certainly	adds	to	one's	enjoyment	of	this	film	.	annette	bening	(	oddly	playing	a	merged	version	of	her	real	estate	salesman	character	from	american	beauty	and	her	ditzy	spiritualist	character	from	mars	attacks	!	)	does	a	fine	job	keeping	up	with	shandling	and	makes	a	good	catalyst	for	his	brand	of	humor	.	she	even	manages	to	pull	off	a	potentially	disastrous	scene	where	she	has	to	perform	a	rather	goofy	rendition	of	"	high	hopes	"	for	a	lengthy	period	of	time	.	ben	kingsley	,	john	goodman	and	greg	kinnear	all	fare	well	in	their	performances	as	well	,	and	linda	fiorentino	.	.	.	good	lord	,	there	should	be	some	sort	of	law	stating	that	no	woman	can	be	that	sexy	.	everything	about	her	character	in	this	film	oozes	raw	sexuality	.	what	planet	are	you	from	?	is	available	on	dvd	from	columbia	tristar	home	video	.	the	disc	gives	you	the	choice	of	either	watching	the	film	full	frame	or	in	its	original	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	1	.	85	:	1	(	and	enhanced	for	16x9	televisions	.	also	included	on	the	disc	as	extras	:	a	decent	making	of	featurette	,	an	isolated	score	track	,	talent	files	for	the	cast	and	crew	,	and	the	film's	original	theatrical	trailer	(	as	well	as	trailers	for	wolf	,	men	in	black	,	bugsy	and	as	good	as	it	gets	)	.	when	i	first	saw	that	the	disc	featured	an	isolated	score	track	,	i	actually	laughed	.	how	great	could	the	music	for	a	silly	little	comedy	be	for	it	to	get	it's	own	isolated	track	?	well	as	it	turns	out	,	it's	a	mighty	fine	score	from	carter	burwell	(	fargo	,	the	hudsucker	proxy	)	that	i	enjoyed	listening	to	again	while	i	typed	up	this	review	.	kudos	to	columbia	tristar	for	adding	that	feature	to	the	disc	.	what	planet	are	your	from	?	was	unjustly	ignored	in	theaters	,	and	i	hope	it	finds	its	deserved	audience	on	home	video	.	this	fine	dvd	is	certainly	a	great	way	to	see	it	.	r	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	the	farrelly	brothers'	third	film	,	after	dumb	and	dumber	(	7	.	5	10	)	and	kingpin	(	8	10	)	,	brings	together	the	real	life	couple	of	cameron	diaz	and	matt	dillon	,	some	nasty	humour	,	a	cute	dog	,	and	a	mix	of	love	,	fate	and	romance	.	plot	:	high	school	nerd	ted	gets	lucky	when	the	cutest	girl	in	his	class	asks	him	to	the	prom	.	unfortunately	for	ted	,	he	accidentally	gets	a	part	of	his	male	anatomy	(	ouch	!	)	caught	in	his	zipper	,	and	misses	the	big	night	.	thirteen	years	later	,	ted	still	can't	get	mary	out	of	his	mind	,	and	hires	a	private	detective	(	dillon	)	to	find	her	.	once	found	,	it	turns	out	that	mary	has	more	than	one	suitor	,	and	that's	when	the	real	fun	begins	.	critique	:	likeable	comedy	with	a	few	extremely	funny	scenes	,	some	funny	looking	people	,	and	a	plot	that	won't	ever	put	you	to	sleep	.	having	said	that	,	i	must	admit	that	i	did	like	the	farrellys'	two	previous	films	more	than	this	one	,	but	that	is	saying	a	lot	,	since	i	really	did	love	those	earlier	pics	.	this	one	is	also	quite	funny	,	but	it	didn't	really	blow	me	away	like	the	others	.	then	again	,	maybe	my	expectations	were	too	high	.	then	again	,	maybe	i	should	shut	up	,	and	write	a	little	more	about	the	film	,	and	less	about	my	supposed	subconscious	reasons	for	liking	disliking	the	film	.	continuing	where	their	other	pictures	left	off	,	the	farrellys'	create	a	cutesy	world	of	people	with	strange	and	endearing	qualities	,	and	a	simple	plot	by	which	to	tie	them	all	together	.	this	one	also	includes	plenty	of	toilet	humour	,	but	also	some	borderline	fun	making	of	the	disabled	and	mentally	challenged	.	i	must	admit	that	i	really	wasn't	sure	whether	to	laugh	at	some	points	or	not	.	not	a	good	place	to	be	.	having	said	that	,	the	scenes	that	did	tear	through	the	audience	,	and	yours	truly	,	were	extremely	hilarious	,	and	went	on	for	several	minutes	after	the	punchline	.	the	laughter	practically	killed	out	the	next	scene	for	one	of	the	best	ones	in	the	movie	(	something	to	do	with	hair	gel	)	.	on	the	negative	end	,	i	did	not	like	the	musical	interludes	of	jonathan	richman	that	ran	through	the	entire	picture	.	i	found	them	quite	useless	,	unfunny	and	distracting	.	also	,	i	found	that	a	lot	of	the	funnier	scenes	had	already	been	shown	in	the	film's	trailer	.	and	of	course	,	i	never	quite	buy	the	fact	that	these	beautiful	,	intelligent	,	single	women	still	can't	seem	to	find	the	"	right	guy	"	(	see	kiss	the	girls	(	7	10	)	.	i	did	really	like	all	of	the	actors	in	the	film	,	especially	ben	stiller	,	who	appears	to	be	solidifying	his	mark	as	a	great	comical	actor	with	this	picture	and	one	of	my	favourites	from	1996	,	flirting	with	disaster	(	8	10	)	.	i	also	liked	matt	dillon	with	his	big	teeth	,	and	lee	evans	with	his	superb	faux	sympathy	british	accent	.	funny	stuff	.	also	,	make	sure	that	you	stay	for	the	credits	,	because	there	is	an	entire	montage	of	outtakes	from	the	film	that	plays	under	a	lip	synched	version	of	"	build	me	up	buttercup	"	,	which	is	really	cool	.	overall	,	a	cute	comedy	with	a	decent	premise	,	and	a	few	particularly	hilarious	scenes	.	little	known	facts	:	the	farrellys	big	break	came	when	they	somehow	got	a	copy	of	their	script	"	dust	to	dust	"	into	the	hands	of	eddie	murphy	via	murphy's	neighbour	.	they	only	found	out	about	murphy's	interest	,	when	they	saw	eddie	mention	the	script	on	the	david	letterman	show	one	night	.	matt	dillon	is	a	high	school	dropout	.	in	between	acting	gigs	,	dillon	has	branched	out	into	the	restaurant	business	.	close	to	home	in	his	native	new	york	,	he	co	owns	both	a	bar	called	the	whiskey	and	a	swanky	uptown	eatery	called	the	falls	.	cameron	diaz	stands	5	"	9	,	started	working	as	a	model	at	the	early	age	of	16	,	and	loves	cats	.	ben	stiller's	father	is	jerry	stiller	.	he	played	george	costanza's	(	jason	alexander	)	father	on	tv's	"	seinfeld	"	.	peter	farrelly	has	written	a	novel	entitled	"	outside	providence	"	which	is	currently	being	filmed	starring	alec	baldwin	.	rob	moran	,	who	plays	the	cop	in	this	film	,	also	played	the	millionaire	bowler	in	kingpin	,	and	the	bartender	in	dumb	and	dumber	.	he	is	old	friends	with	the	farrelly	brothers	from	college	,	and	is	currently	married	to	entertainment	tonight	anchor	correspondant	julie	moran	.	harland	williams	,	who	plays	the	nutty	hitchhiker	in	this	film	,	also	played	a	state	trooper	in	the	farrelly's	earlier	dumb	and	dumber	,	and	was	the	star	of	the	unfortunate	rocket	man	.
pos	cast	:	christian	bale	,	willem	dafoe	,	jared	leto	,	reese	witherspoon	,	samantha	mathis	,	chlo	sevigny	,	guinevere	turner	written	by	:	mary	harron	and	guinevere	turner	directed	by	:	mary	harron	running	time	:	100	minutes	set	in	the	late	80's	at	the	height	of	yuppie	excess	and	based	on	the	book	by	bret	easton	ellis	(	who	explored	the	same	themes	in	another	book	which	was	also	made	into	a	movie	,	less	than	zero	)	,	american	psycho	puts	a	new	spin	on	the	yuppie	"	genre	"	that	ellis	helped	to	create	.	christian	bale	is	perfectly	cast	as	patrick	bateman	,	a	high	powered	yuppie	who	hides	a	terrible	secret	from	his	fiance	and	his	colleagues	.	it	seems	that	bateman	is	a	serial	killer	and	,	unfortunately	for	his	contemporaries	,	his	tenuous	grasp	on	reality	is	starting	to	slip	.	as	he	tries	to	balance	his	meticulous	daily	routines	with	slaughtering	co	workers	and	prostitutes	and	hiding	their	bodies	,	his	mental	fabric	slowly	begins	to	unravel	.	i	was	first	introduced	to	the	novel	when	i	was	still	in	high	school	.	i	read	an	associated	press	article	in	our	local	sunday	newspaper	detailing	the	problems	ellis	was	having	getting	his	novel	published	due	to	the	controversial	violence	in	it	.	as	usual	when	anything	is	controversial	i	try	to	seek	it	out	,	but	i	soon	forgot	about	the	novel	and	didn't	end	up	thinking	about	it	again	until	i	stumbled	across	it	a	couple	of	years	later	at	a	bookstore	.	i	picked	it	up	and	read	it	,	but	was	ultimately	disappointed	because	it	left	more	questions	than	answers	.	the	movie	has	a	similar	effect	,	but	at	least	it's	less	cryptic	than	ellis'	novel	.	for	once	,	a	film	has	actually	turned	out	to	be	better	than	the	novel	it	was	based	on	.	both	the	book	and	the	film	open	with	bateman	describing	his	fastidious	morning	preparations	(	down	to	exactly	what	facial	scrubs	and	exfoliating	creams	he	uses	)	but	the	novel	seems	to	concentrate	more	on	these	excesses	throughout	.	the	movie	continues	to	touch	upon	these	things	but	makes	more	of	a	point	to	immerse	us	in	bateman's	impending	madness	than	to	detail	things	as	painstakingly	as	the	novel	does	.	as	a	result	,	the	film	is	immensely	more	entertaining	.	lions	gate	seems	to	be	the	studio	champion	of	controversial	films	(	having	picked	up	kevin	smith's	catholic	rattling	dogma	)	and	here	with	american	psycho	there	is	no	difference	.	screenwriters	mary	harron	and	guinevere	turner	had	the	unenviable	task	of	trying	to	take	a	novel	about	yuppies	filled	with	graphic	violence	and	sex	and	make	a	marketable	film	out	of	it	.	some	cuts	had	to	be	made	to	the	finished	film	to	keep	from	getting	an	nc	17	,	mainly	involving	a	sex	scene	comprising	bateman	and	two	women	,	and	initial	reports	said	the	film	was	unwatchable	.	thankfully	,	it	is	watchable	and	harron	and	turner	have	made	one	of	the	most	scathingly	satirical	films	this	side	of	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	uncut	.	side	note	1	:	co	writer	guinevere	turner	also	makes	an	appearance	in	the	film	as	an	ill	fated	acquaintance	of	bateman's	who	,	after	bateman	suggests	that	she	start	making	out	with	a	female	prostitute	,	proclaims	that	she's	not	a	lesbian	nor	has	any	interest	in	it	.	the	ironic	humor	of	the	scene	stems	from	the	fact	that	turner	(	the	writer	director	of	the	film	go	fish	and	who	also	assisted	kevin	smith	with	parts	of	his	script	for	chasing	amy	)	is	a	lesbian	.	it's	a	subtle	in	joke	and	it's	one	i	found	to	be	pretty	humorous	.	despite	having	a	rather	high	profile	supporting	cast	of	young	up	and	comers	(	including	reese	witherspoon	)	,	most	of	the	roles	are	a	waste	and	are	the	equivalent	of	extended	billed	cameos	.	the	real	draw	here	is	christian	bale	and	his	over	the	top	performance	as	patrick	bateman	.	whenever	i	read	a	novel	i	always	try	to	imagine	what	it	would	be	like	as	a	movie	and	who	would	be	perfect	to	cast	as	the	characters	.	i	always	had	a	hard	time	trying	to	decide	who	i	would	cast	as	bateman	,	but	i	never	thought	bale	would	deliver	a	performance	as	perfect	as	his	ends	up	being	.	to	say	bale	runs	away	with	the	character	is	a	vast	understatement	and	he	proves	that	he's	as	adept	at	chewing	scenery	as	al	pacino	or	rod	steiger	.	one	sequence	in	particular	,	involving	bateman	describing	his	love	for	huey	lewis	and	the	news'	song	"	hip	to	be	square	"	right	before	burying	an	axe	in	a	co	worker's	head	,	features	one	of	the	most	eccentric	and	kinetic	performances	i	have	ever	seen	on	film	.	side	note	2	:	despite	the	fact	that	huey	lewis'	"	hip	to	be	square	"	and	a	pair	of	phil	collins	songs	appear	in	the	film	,	don't	expect	to	see	them	on	the	soundtrack	release	.	huey	lewis	expressly	requested	that	his	song	,	featured	in	a	rather	large	set	piece	in	the	film	(	much	akin	to	the	use	of	"	stuck	in	the	middle	with	you	"	in	reservoir	dogs	)	,	not	be	included	on	any	soundtrack	release	.	i'm	assuming	that	collins	requested	the	same	.	on	a	similar	note	,	whitney	houston's	cover	of	"	the	greatest	love	of	all	"	is	also	involved	in	a	scene	comparable	to	the	other	two	and	it	is	very	obvious	that	it	isn't	the	houston	version	at	all	but	merely	an	instrumental	version	culled	from	an	unknown	source	.	apparently	,	houston	wasn't	as	open	about	the	use	of	her	song	as	the	others	were	.	a	bigger	controversy	than	the	violence	and	sex	has	been	brewing	since	the	film's	release	:	that	of	whether	or	not	patrick	has	actually	committed	the	crimes	we	have	viewed	during	the	course	of	the	film	.	don't	look	to	the	book	for	any	answers	because	it	will	only	serve	to	confuse	you	more	.	several	web	sites	have	been	dedicated	to	the	subject	but	i'm	still	undecided	.	there	is	evidence	both	for	and	against	but	the	most	scathing	evidence	against	comes	from	a	scene	near	the	end	of	the	film	where	bateman	goes	on	a	killing	spree	taking	out	cops	,	old	ladies	,	and	cleaning	staff	with	equal	gusto	.	the	scene	seemed	very	dream	like	and	as	absurd	as	the	action	films	it	suddenly	seems	to	be	parodying	(	as	an	example	,	bateman	blows	up	a	police	car	very	cinematically	after	firing	several	shots	from	a	handgun	in	the	general	direction	of	the	car	)	.	i	kept	waiting	for	bateman	to	wake	up	and	for	the	film	to	continue	on	from	there	,	but	bateman	never	does	wake	up	and	the	whole	sequence	,	though	comic	,	throws	the	film	off	balance	(	which	i	suppose	was	the	intention	)	.	other	than	the	few	flaws	i	have	mentioned	,	american	psycho	is	an	incredibly	entertaining	film	(	although	you	may	not	leave	the	movie	fully	understanding	whether	or	not	what	has	just	transpired	actually	occurred	in	bateman's	reality	)	.	i	think	this	movie	is	destined	for	greatness	as	a	cult	film	and	deserves	the	spot	it	will	take	as	such	.	it	may	not	change	anyone's	life	,	but	it	will	certainly	have	an	effect	.	i	know	i	will	certainly	hear	"	hip	to	be	square	"	in	a	different	context	the	next	time	i	hear	it	.	r	reviewed	by	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	last	year's	mob	comedy	mafia	!	didn't	work	very	well	,	due	to	lack	of	a	smart	script	and	good	acting	.	harold	ramis'	analyze	this	works	in	all	the	ways	that	mafia	!	doesn't	.	analyze	this	tells	the	story	of	long	island	shrink	ben	sobel	(	billy	crystal	)	,	who	one	day	gets	into	a	car	accident	with	a	mobster	nicknamed	jelly	(	joe	viterelli	)	and	the	trunk	pops	open	,	exposing	a	half	dead	,	tied	up	man	.	"	you	didn't	see	nothing	,	"	jelly	assures	him	.	jelly's	don	,	paul	vitti	(	robert	de	niro	)	,	keeps	having	panic	attacks	,	and	expresses	the	need	to	see	a	shrink	to	discuss	"	his	friend	.	"	jelly	tells	him	about	the	one	he	ran	into	,	and	vitti	pays	him	a	visit	.	vitti	seems	to	be	losing	his	gangster	mentality	.	he	cries	at	corny	commercials	and	can't	find	the	will	to	kill	a	person	anymore	.	vitti	becomes	so	obsessed	with	becoming	sane	that	he	follows	sobel	to	florida	,	where	he	is	supposed	to	wed	laura	(	lisa	kudrow	)	.	if	put	in	the	hands	of	other	filmmakers	,	analyze	this	would	become	a	mess	.	but	director	ramis	(	groundhog	day	)	keeps	things	light	,	and	gets	great	performances	from	both	leads	.	billy	crystal	has	found	a	role	wothy	of	his	comic	presence	,	but	the	one	who	steals	the	show	is	undoubtedly	de	niro	.	the	greatest	actor	of	all	time	in	my	opinion	,	de	niro	shows	an	gives	an	exceptionally	funny	performance	.	in	the	film	,	he	seems	to	be	reprising	all	the	mob	characters	he's	ever	played	,	and	for	that	reason	,	de	niro's	vitti	didn't	need	to	be	a	very	developed	character	,	just	a	funny	guy	.	analyze	this	also	gives	viewers	the	first	chance	(	i	think	)	to	watch	de	niro	cry	.	oh	,	if	only	word	got	out	to	the	corleone	family	.	.	.	there	is	nothing	groundbreaking	about	analyze	this	,	but	it	features	a	performance	that	any	de	niro	fan	should	seek	out	.
pos	susan	granger's	review	of	"	songcatcher	"	in	the	midst	of	this	summer's	fare	of	dinos	revisited	and	romantic	fiascoes	,	there	are	a	few	thoughtful	movies	and	this	appalachian	period	drama	is	one	.	oscar	nominee	janet	mcteer	(	"	tumbleweeds	"	)	stars	as	dr	.	lily	penleric	,	an	accomplished	musicologist	who	,	back	in	that	pre	feminist	era	,	was	refused	a	full	professorship	at	her	university	.	determined	to	prove	her	worth	,	she	ventures	deep	into	the	rugged	mountains	of	north	carolina	,	where	her	younger	sister	elna	(	jane	adams	)	runs	a	school	.	there	in	bear	creek	,	she	discovers	a	treasure	trove	of	traditional	scots	irish	and	english	folk	ballads	,	given	a	unique	interpretation	by	the	insular	locals	.	excited	,	she	sends	for	recording	equipment	and	persuades	vinie	butler	(	pat	carroll	)	and	other	self	sustaining	mountain	folk	to	share	their	musical	heritage	on	her	edison	phonograph	cylinders	.	their	music	,	as	she	puts	it	,	is	"	as	much	a	part	of	life	here	as	the	air	you	breathe	.	"	that's	the	main	thrust	of	writer	director	maggie	greenwald's	occasionally	uneven	culture	clash	story	,	which	is	loosely	based	on	olive	dame	campbell's	foray	through	the	blue	ridge	mountains	in	1908	,	but	there's	also	some	melodramatic	romantic	spice	.	ornery	,	bearded	,	banjo	picking	aidan	quinn	falls	for	the	statuesque	,	passionate	"	songcatcher	,	"	while	elna	secretly	engages	in	a	lesbian	relationship	with	a	colleague	(	e	.	katherine	kerr	)	.	i'm	ready	to	buy	the	soulful	soundtrack	with	vocalists	like	emmylou	harris	,	iris	dement	,	taj	mahal	and	young	opera	star	emmy	rossum	who	plays	a	pivotal	role	as	mcteer's	wide	eyed	protg	.	rated	pg	13	,	there's	an	intense	scene	of	primitive	childbirth	.	on	the	granger	movie	gauge	of	1	to	10	,	"	songcatcher	"	is	an	intelligent	,	extraordinary	8	,	transported	by	the	transcendent	power	of	song	.
pos	writer	director	:	andrew	m	.	niccol	starring	:	ethan	hawke	,	uma	thurman	,	jude	law	,	loren	dean	,	alan	arkin	,	gore	vidal	,	ernest	borgnine	,	tony	shalhoub	,	xander	berkeley	,	blair	underwood	,	ryan	dorin	,	elias	kosteas	,	jayne	brook	if	you	had	a	chance	to	create	a	genetically	perfect	child	,	would	you	do	it	?	"	gattaca	"	is	a	film	which	presents	a	future	where	society	has	answered	"	yes	"	to	this	question	,	but	then	ponders	if	this	was	actually	the	right	decision	.	"	gattaca	"	came	out	only	a	couple	months	following	the	first	genetically	engineered	creature	,	the	lovable	dolly	the	sheep	,	and	with	this	in	mind	,	the	film	only	becomes	more	frightening	.	the	way	the	realm	of	genetics	is	heading	,	it	may	only	take	a	couple	decades	until	the	future	"	gattaca	"	presents	becomes	true	.	contrary	to	the	misleading	trailers	,	"	gattaca	"	is	not	a	sci	fi	thriller	,	in	the	way	that	there's	lots	of	murder	,	hitchcockian	suspense	,	and	chase	scenes	.	this	is	a	quiet	,	sad	film	about	intelligent	theories	.	in	fact	,	the	film	seems	like	it	would	have	been	written	by	george	orwell	or	aldous	huxley	(	the	latter	who's	novel	"	brave	new	world	"	featured	genetically	engineered	children	)	.	it's	a	film	that	may	likely	become	a	cult	hit	to	people	who	are	frightened	by	a	promise	of	shallow	utopia	,	which	is	exactly	what	"	gattaca	"	presents	.	.	.	and	the	main	reason	i	dug	it	so	much	.	the	story	revolves	around	the	genetically	insufficient	vincent	freeman	(	ethan	hawke	)	,	a	man	with	high	hopes	but	a	90	chance	of	heart	problems	,	and	a	prospected	life	span	of	around	30	years	.	as	a	child	,	he	was	put	down	because	of	the	threats	of	genetics	,	while	his	younger	genetically	perfect	brother	,	anton	(	loren	dean	)	,	was	promised	whatever	his	heart	desired	.	vincent	yearns	to	be	an	astronaut	,	but	when	he	gets	a	job	at	a	giant	space	company	,	it's	as	a	janitor	(	ernest	borgnine	plays	his	boss	!	)	.	but	one	day	,	he	finds	out	that	it's	probably	possible	that	his	desires	can	come	true	in	the	form	of	a	business	deal	brought	out	by	a	black	market	geneticist	(	or	something	)	,	german	(	"	wings	"	'	tony	shalhoub	,	who	did	like	hundreds	of	cameos	in	films	back	in	'97	:	"	men	in	black	,	"	"	a	life	less	ordinary	"	.	.	.	)	,	who's	client	is	a	genetically	perfect	man	,	jerome	morrow	(	jude	law	)	,	who	has	unfortunately	been	crippled	.	fortunately	,	though	,	there's	no	record	of	the	accident	,	and	he's	willing	to	give	someone	else	his	life	.	since	vincent	looks	a	bit	like	him	.	.	.	after	a	couple	alterations	(	some	minor	,	some	really	major	)	,	he	has	donned	the	life	of	jerome	,	and	is	doing	his	job	.	there	,	he	meets	a	genetically	imperfect	woman	,	irene	(	uma	thurman	,	who's	genetically	perfect	in	real	life	anyway	,	hee	hee	)	,	and	the	two	begin	a	kind	of	relationship	,	albeit	a	very	shallow	one	since	romance	is	deemed	by	how	great	a	man's	stats	are	.	however	,	a	murder	of	a	high	level	worker	at	his	office	is	killed	,	and	one	of	vincent	jerome's	eyelashes	is	found	by	the	anal	retentive	investigators	headed	by	a	semi	wily	inspector	,	hugo	,	(	alan	arkin	)	,	and	none	other	than	vincent's	long	lost	brother	,	anton	,	who	hasn't	seen	him	since	they	were	teenagers	.	we	know	vincent	jerome	didn't	do	it	,	but	with	his	older	picture	being	posted	everywhere	,	not	only	vincent	jerome's	in	trouble	,	but	also	the	real	jerome	,	who's	as	much	in	it	as	he	is	.	however	,	there	isn't	many	big	suspense	set	pieces	,	which	is	actually	a	blessing	because	if	they	were	tossed	in	,	the	film	would	lose	it's	message	and	descend	into	just	being	a	sci	fi	thriller	a	la	william	gibson	.	the	suspense	in	the	film	comes	from	the	idea	that	vincent	and	jerome	can	easily	be	captured	just	by	dropping	a	hair	or	dead	skin	.	while	there	are	several	scenes	which	are	pretty	frightening	,	there	are	no	big	distractions	from	the	point	of	the	film	,	much	to	the	dismay	of	commercial	audiences	.	what	is	actually	portrayed	is	the	lack	of	life	in	the	utopian	society	that	is	created	.	irene	has	no	real	spunk	in	her	life	,	and	is	rather	amazed	by	the	sheer	beauty	of	a	sunrise	rather	than	genetically	perfect	people	.	and	the	genetically	flawless	jerome	is	in	actuality	a	bitter	man	,	claiming	that	his	accident	was	really	no	accident	.	what	jerome	has	done	is	fool	the	system	in	giving	a	man	who	yearns	for	better	things	a	chance	at	that	,	and	the	ending	is	shocking	as	it's	a	definite	work	of	dystopian	propaganda	,	but	doesn't	have	the	down	ending	of	other	works	of	this	kind	.	the	production	design	of	this	film	is	probably	the	best	i've	seen	this	year	:	it's	stunning	,	very	pleasing	to	the	eye	,	but	still	very	cold	.	since	genetics	has	ruled	out	any	chance	of	improvement	,	the	world	has	cooled	into	a	state	of	inhumanity	,	and	the	sets	echo	a	sense	of	shallow	misery	.	and	the	sequence	of	all	the	high	level	workers	doing	their	jobs	has	a	kind	of	gilliam	esque	feel	to	it	,	showing	the	nightmare	of	slipping	into	a	routine	zombie	like	life	.	the	ability	to	perfect	people	has	left	humanity	cold	and	generally	unhappy	.	the	acting	from	everyone	is	great	,	with	thurman	giving	a	wonderfully	cold	performance	,	and	hawke	creating	a	character	who	has	been	beaten	down	by	the	system	but	has	found	a	new	sense	of	optimism	by	a	bitter	man	who	was	willing	to	give	it	out	anyway	(	interesting	pointless	fact	:	uma	and	ethan	started	dating	after	this	film	,	and	currently	she	is	pregnant	with	his	child	)	.	but	the	best	performance	belongs	to	jude	law	,	who	steals	every	scene	he's	in	,	and	creates	a	character	filled	with	the	pessimism	over	having	such	a	horrible	burden	placed	on	his	burden	.	i	think	that	people	are	generally	tempted	by	the	fact	that	genetics	can	actually	create	perfection	in	a	child	,	but	whether	or	not	they	would	actually	act	on	this	temptation	is	something	i'm	not	sure	of	.	"	gattaca	"	warns	us	not	to	go	any	farther	,	chiefly	because	we'll	create	a	world	of	elitism	where	the	elite	are	shallow	and	unhappy	,	and	as	bitter	and	angry	as	the	lesser	people	are	.	and	when	i	see	a	possible	future	featuring	a	12	fingered	piano	player	,	well	folks	,	that	just	creeps	me	out	.
pos	one	of	my	colleagues	was	surprised	when	i	told	her	i	was	willing	to	see	betsy's	wedding	.	and	she	was	shocked	to	hear	that	i	actually	liked	it	.	her	reaction	was	understandable	when	you	consider	that	the	film	revolves	around	molly	ringwald	,	who	hasn't	made	a	worthwhile	film	since	1986	.	but	the	fact	is	,	betsy's	wedding	is	also	an	alan	alda	film	.	and	while	ringwald	has	been	making	duds	for	the	last	four	years	,	alda	has	been	involved	with	several	noteworthy	projects	,	including	crimes	and	misdemeanors	and	a	new	life	.	written	and	directed	by	alda	,	betsy's	wedding	is	a	vibrant	slice	of	life	,	mixing	a	few	dramatic	moments	into	a	big	bowl	of	whimsical	humor	.	alda's	comic	elixir	is	smooth	and	refreshing	and	a	welcome	change	of	pace	from	the	usual	summer	fare	.	as	bride	and	groom	,	molly	ringwald	and	dylan	walsh	are	the	pivotal	characters	in	the	film	,	but	they	are	by	far	the	least	interesting	.	walsh	is	a	nonentity	,	with	all	the	screen	presence	of	a	door	knob	.	ringwald	is	simply	unbearable	and	is	easily	the	weakest	link	in	the	chain	.	she	looks	hideous	with	her	short	cropped	orange	hair	,	red	lip	stick	and	grotesque	outfits	.	she's	supposed	to	be	a	dress	designer	,	but	she	looks	more	like	a	clown	.	and	to	make	matters	worse	,	ringwald's	performance	matches	her	appearance	.	thankfully	,	alda	keeps	ringwald's	screen	time	to	a	minimum	;	he	is	far	more	interested	in	the	colorful	periphery	characters	.	the	wedding	is	just	a	device	to	bring	together	the	bride's	working	class	,	italian	family	and	the	groom's	rich	,	gentile	family	.	ringwald's	folks	are	homey	and	down	to	earth	,	with	alda	as	her	free	spirited	father	,	madeline	kahn	as	her	practical	mother	,	and	ally	sheedy	as	her	lonely	sister	.	walsh's	clan	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	prim	,	proper	and	ostentatious	.	when	the	two	families	meet	and	mingle	,	the	movie	becomes	a	story	of	culture	clash	,	or	as	one	character	puts	it	,	"	money	versus	values	.	"	ally	sheedy	,	in	a	wonderfully	understated	performance	,	is	one	of	the	film's	most	pleasant	surprises	.	sheedy	expresses	more	with	just	her	eyes	than	ringwald	does	with	her	entire	body	.	it's	anthony	lapaglia	,	however	,	who	seizes	the	spotlight	.	lapaglia	plays	stevie	dee	,	a	suave	,	overly	polite	mafioso	who	is	formally	courting	sheedy	with	old	fashioned	chivalry	.	lapaglia's	sincere	but	dim	witted	character	is	a	riot	.	and	what's	uncanny	is	that	lapaglia	is	a	dead	ringer	for	robert	de	niro	,	with	a	little	bit	of	alec	baldwin	thrown	in	for	good	measure	.	lapaglia	seems	to	have	attended	the	de	niro	school	of	gangster	acting	,	and	his	inspired	performance	is	partly	a	tribute	to	his	role	model	and	partly	a	rip	off	.	i	don't	know	whether	to	say	a	star	is	born	or	a	star	is	re	born	,	but	i	do	know	that	lapaglia's	over	the	top	performance	should	not	be	missed	.	the	scrumptious	comic	acting	,	however	,	extends	well	beyond	sheedy	and	lapaglia	.	joe	pesci	,	in	particular	,	sinks	his	teeth	into	his	role	as	alda's	unscrupulous	brother	in	law	,	a	slum	lord	with	mob	ties	,	who	is	cheating	on	his	wife	(	catherine	o'hara	)	.	alda	,	faced	with	challenge	of	both	directing	and	acting	,	somehow	finds	just	the	right	comic	touch	as	the	bride's	financially	strapped	father	,	a	carpenter	whose	dreams	are	bigger	than	his	wallet	.	the	film	adopts	alda's	psychological	point	of	view	as	he	tries	to	one	:	plan	the	wedding	,	and	two	:	pay	for	it	.	as	a	filmmaker	,	alda's	style	of	humor	is	remarkably	restrained	and	tasteful	.	and	while	he	doesn't	have	the	comic	genius	of	a	woody	allen	,	alda	does	possess	the	inspiration	to	make	movies	which	are	ten	times	more	entertaining	than	the	slop	which	usually	passes	for	comedy	.
pos	a	group	of	high	school	kids	mix	up	with	a	group	of	hip	hop	artists	as	a	documentarian	strives	to	discover	why	today's	youth	seem	attracted	to	black	culture	.	if	black	white	,	the	new	film	from	writer	director	james	toback	,	is	eventually	remembered	for	only	one	thing	,	it	will	be	the	revelation	that	brooke	shields	,	claudia	schiffer	,	marla	maples	and	mike	tyson	can	act	.	however	,	this	partly	improvised	gem	will	be	remembered	for	more	than	that	.	black	white	is	a	fascinating	film	;	it	makes	a	statement	about	america's	youth	and	hip	hop	culture	without	getting	heavy	handed	overly	serious	.	featuring	a	cast	of	known	commodities	(	ben	stiller	,	robert	downey	jr	.	)	and	hot	newcomers	(	singers	bijou	phillips	)	,	toback's	is	a	complex	film	worth	seeing	.	black	white	has	multiple	storylines	that	are	all	related	to	each	other	,	a	la	robert	altman	.	there	is	dean	the	basketball	player	(	allan	houston	)	who	is	asked	to	rig	games	for	money	by	mark	clear	(	stiller	)	in	exchange	for	fifty	grand	a	game	.	this	eventually	spills	over	into	the	life	of	dean's	long	time	friend	rich	(	power	)	,	a	gangsta	who	controls	20	city	blocks	of	harlem	.	rich	has	to	deal	with	the	imminent	opening	of	a	white	owned	club	on	his	turf	.	meanwhile	,	the	young	white	girls	who	like	to	hang	around	with	rich	and	his	homies	get	talked	into	being	in	a	documentary	by	sam	donager	(	shields	)	and	her	gay	husband	terry	(	downey	jr	.	)	.	others	who	make	appearances	are	william	lee	scott	as	the	young	white	punk	will	,	joe	pantoliano	as	his	district	attorney	father	,	jared	leto	as	a	high	school	teacher	,	marla	maples	as	the	mother	of	one	of	hip	hop	crazed	teens	,	claudia	schiffer	as	dean's	girlfriend	,	and	mike	tyson	as	.	.	.	mike	tyson	.	the	stories	ebb	and	flow	through	the	film	,	losing	and	gaining	prominence	over	time	.	friendships	are	lost	,	lovers	are	gained	,	and	there	is	an	occasional	burst	of	violence	.	originally	rated	nc	17	in	the	united	states	,	black	white	features	a	lot	of	sex	between	black	gangstas	and	young	white	girls	.	while	the	film	was	trimmed	down	to	a	tamer	r	rating	,	viewers	will	wonder	what	could	be	more	explicit	than	what	they	are	seeing	.	the	three	way	sexual	beginning	of	the	film	nicely	warns	viewers	of	what	they	are	in	for	,	and	several	audience	members	got	up	and	left	at	that	point	.	the	frequent	sex	is	one	of	the	film's	few	flaws	as	the	titillation	is	overdone	and	at	times	completely	unrelated	to	anything	else	going	on	in	the	film	.	to	toback's	credit	,	the	level	of	violence	in	black	white	is	almost	nil	.	these	gangstas	and	hip	hop	artists	are	given	real	problems	and	concerns	,	and	only	become	gun	toting	crazies	when	it	benefits	them	to	appear	that	way	.	whenever	a	character	finds	himself	on	donager's	handheld	digital	camera	,	he	starts	spouting	off	righteous	tirades	on	america	and	proclaims	his	independence	,	but	not	everyone	has	fully	bought	into	the	idea	.	charlie	(	phillips	)	is	full	of	bluster	about	why	she	loves	hip	hop	,	but	admits	that	"	in	ten	years	time	,	i'll	be	way	over	this	.	"	these	youth	know	they	are	going	through	a	phase	,	and	are	simply	enjoying	it	.	toback	fills	the	spaces	between	these	tirades	with	scenes	that	are	lightweight	and	funny	.	most	of	the	humour	comes	from	mike	tyson	,	who	provides	the	film's	comic	relief	without	really	trying	.	he	is	given	big	words	like	vernacular	to	say	,	and	as	rich	tries	to	discuss	a	particular	street	problem	with	tyson	,	he	frequently	has	to	ask	him	to	use	smaller	words	and	explain	himself	better	,	playing	on	tyson's	image	as	a	dimwit	.	but	tyson	also	gets	the	film's	scariest	moment	.	as	he	is	mercilessly	hit	upon	by	the	very	gay	terry	,	tyson	is	a	marvel	to	watch	as	he	fights	to	remain	calm	.	the	scene	is	entirely	improvised	,	with	downey	jr	.	being	told	to	just	keep	at	tyson	until	he	gets	a	reaction	.	the	reaction	he	gets	,	being	slapped	and	then	choked	is	astonishing	,	as	downey	jr's	face	turns	a	frightening	shade	of	purple	.	black	white	is	a	film	about	hip	hop	culture	,	and	the	film's	omnipresent	hip	hop	soundtrack	strongly	supports	this	.	but	toback	keeps	things	from	becoming	too	serious	;	by	moving	from	story	to	story	as	quickly	as	he	does	,	toback	keeps	us	from	becoming	attached	to	any	one	character's	struggle	.	thus	black	white's	message	about	hip	hop	becomes	secondary	to	the	film	itself	.	toback	just	wants	us	to	have	fun	and	maybe	learn	a	little	about	hip	hop	along	the	way	.	and	we	do	.
pos	pleasantville	1	2	.	written	and	directed	by	gary	ross	.	photography	,	john	lindley	.	editing	,	william	goldenberg	.	production	designer	,	jeannine	oppewall	.	art	director	,	dianne	wager	.	set	decorator	,	jay	hart	.	costumes	,	judianna	makovsky	.	music	director	,	randy	newman	.	produced	by	ross	,	jon	kilik	,	robert	j	.	degus	,	steven	soderbergh	.	cast	:	tobey	maguire	(	david	bud	)	,	jeff	daniels	(	johnson	)	,	joan	allen	(	betty	)	,	william	h	.	macy	(	george	)	,	j	.	t	.	walsh	(	big	bob	)	,	don	knotts	(	tv	repairman	)	,	marley	shelton	(	margaret	)	,	jane	kaczmarek	(	david's	mom	)	,	reese	witherspoon	(	jennifer	mary	sue	)	.	a	new	line	release	.	116	minutes	.	pg	13	.	simplify	,	simplify	!	exaggerate	,	exaggerate	!	combine	those	strategies	with	skill	and	imagination	and	you	can	get	immediate	,	public	pleasing	results	in	comedy	and	satire	.	that's	what	happens	in	the	case	of	"	pleasantville	,	"	the	aptly	and	ironically	named	first	feature	by	gary	ross	,	the	co	writer	of	the	fantasy	"	big	,	"	and	the	writer	of	the	fanciful	,	political	"	dave	.	"	it	is	crystal	clear	that	pleasantville	is	going	to	become	a	popular	mega	hit	and	that	just	about	all	regular	filmgoers	know	what	to	expect	.	even	so	:	siblings	david	and	jennifer	are	high	school	seniors	in	1998	and	in	an	unnamed	town	they	share	the	problem	of	an	unhappily	divorced	mother	and	the	problem	of	people	their	age	.	at	a	school	assembly	,	the	students	are	given	a	pessimistic	report	on	the	future	:	unemployment	,	aids	,	environmental	disasters	,	etc	.	(	this	is	not	a	gratuitous	announcement	,	since	its	aim	is	to	incite	good	grades	that	can	make	the	difference	in	an	increasingly	competitive	society	)	.	dave	and	jennifer	may	be	twins	but	have	different	personalities	.	the	girl	is	what	,	way	back	when	,	used	to	be	called	"	boy	crazy	.	"	her	brother	takes	refuge	from	the	(	presumed	)	unpleasantnesses	of	life	by	watching	cable	reruns	of	old	,	1950s	family	type	sitcoms	.	an	expert	in	the	series	"	pleasantville	,	"	he	is	about	to	enter	and	undoubtedly	win	the	1	.	000	first	prize	in	a	contest	about	"	pleasantville	.	"	the	two	kids	,	following	a	nicely	planned	succession	of	events	,	and	via	a	mysteriously	appearing	tv	repairman	,	find	themselves	transported	to	and	inside	the	"	pleasantville	"	sitcom	,	as	the	characters	dave	and	mary	sue	,	the	children	of	the	impossibly	neat	and	idealized	(	by	1950's	standards	pushed	beyond	their	outer	limits	)	household	of	betty	and	george	.	we	are	now	in	a	twilight	zone	territory	,	but	without	that	program's	darkness	at	least	not	overtly	.	getting	from	reality	to	fantasy	also	reminds	me	of	the	way	orpheus	(	in	jean	cocteau's	eponymous	film	)	goes	to	another	world	by	entering	a	mirror	.	"	pleasantville	"	reflects	mores	and	manners	of	many	a	50's	sitcom	,	only	taken	to	the	limit	.	the	opening	,	establishing	scenes	of	the	movie	proper	are	in	color	.	set	in	april	1958	,	the	program's	world	is	,	unsurprisingly	,	shown	in	black	and	white	and	shades	of	gray	.	what	is	surprising	is	that	its	world	is	strictly	limited	to	the	falsely	"	ideal	,	"	town	of	pleasantville	.	there	is	nothing	beyond	its	main	street	,	which	,	reaching	its	end	,	loops	back	to	its	beginning	.	it	is	like	those	images	of	a	coiled	snake	biting	its	own	tail	.	there	is	no	history	.	there	are	no	books	,	or	rather	,	there	are	book	covers	of	some	major	works	but	the	pages	inside	are	blank	.	the	high	school	has	a	winning	basketball	team	where	everyone	scores	baskets	.	one	may	wonder	which	other	teams	they	play	.	or	where	anything	no	,	make	this	everything	else	,	from	clothes	to	cars	to	meat	you	name	it	,	comes	from	.	but	then	"	pleasantville	"	requires	blind	,	and	willing	,	suspension	of	disbelief	!	the	sitcom	is	sanitized	to	the	nth	power	.	this	goes	beyond	pristine	picked	fences	,	manicured	lawns	and	perfectly	surfaced	streets	,	streets	that	you	could	fry	the	proverbial	eggs	on	,	except	that	the	year	round	temperature	is	72	high	,	72	low	and	never	a	cloud	in	sight	.	(	how	do	they	know	what	clouds	are	?	never	mind	)	.	not	only	are	there	no	bathrooms	mentioned	,	but	mary	sue's	attempt	to	find	one	results	in	an	room	tiled	and	empty	.	at	a	good	clip	,	mary	sue	and	bud	affect	the	place	from	a	to	z	.	since	they	"	belong	"	in	the	sitcom	,	no	one	sees	them	,	as	we	do	,	like	those	wiser	extra	terrestrials	of	sci	fi	flicks	.	so	what	they	say	and	do	is	not	questioned	.	mary	sue	gradually	makes	the	sexual	education	of	the	youths	,	and	,	indeed	,	her	own	mother	,	in	a	neat	reversal	of	the	child	teaching	her	mom	the	facts	of	life	.	bud	opens	new	doors	,	to	art	,	to	books	(	that	have	a	content	now	)	,	to	feelings	.	among	other	transformations	there	is	that	of	mr	.	johnson	(	jeff	daniels	)	,	who	seems	to	be	a	dimwit	soda	jerk	until	bud	,	aware	that	johnson	has	the	repressed	soul	of	an	artist	,	releases	it	by	opening	his	eyes	with	the	gift	of	a	coffee	table	art	book	.	if	you	use	logic	,	you'll	wonder	where	the	book	came	from	;	and	how	its	reproductions	of	paintings	,	from	old	to	very	modern	,	can	affect	so	strongly	a	total	visual	illiterate	.	but	the	name	of	the	game	with	this	film	is	never	to	ask	questions	!	in	another	reversal	,	the	local	firemen	do	not	put	out	fires	,	since	these	do	not	exist	.	nor	do	they	set	fires	,	as	they	did	in	ray	bradbury's	(	and	francois	tuffaut's	)	cautionary	"	fahrenheit	451	.	"	they	only	know	how	to	rescue	cats	from	high	branches	.	gradually	,	as	the	people	of	pleasantville	begin	to	change	,	feel	and	see	new	things	,	humans	,	objects	,	and	nature	go	from	black	and	white	to	beautiful	colors	.	the	colorizing	does	not	,	as	a	rule	,	affect	the	entire	image	but	is	applied	to	one	item	within	it	while	the	main	view	of	the	screen	remains	in	black	and	white	.	color	shows	up	in	often	unexpected	,	symbolic	places	.	the	process	is	beautifully	thought	out	and	timed	,	superbly	executed	with	digital	techniques	taken	farther	than	in	any	film	i	can	remember	.	along	with	the	invasions	of	color	,	natural	phenomena	such	as	rain	also	appear	.	the	first	half	of	the	movie	is	a	delight	,	especially	if	you	bear	in	mind	that	what	it	spoofs	to	the	max	is	not	really	the	life	of	the	1950s	but	life	in	certain	1950's	tv	programs	.	there	is	,	however	,	a	limit	to	one	or	two	joke	stories	.	the	film's	second	part	becomes	increasingly	like	a	view	of	1950's	society	seen	by	militant	eyes	of	the	1960s	.	the	development	revs	up	its	parables	,	takes	us	into	matters	concerning	reactionary	socio	politics	,	the	mistrust	of	"	the	other	"	and	of	non	conformism	,	racism	,	suppression	of	ideas	(	down	to	a	nazi	ish	book	burning	)	,	fear	of	differences	,	and	so	on	.	things	become	a	bit	laborious	.	the	underlying	idea	that	change	is	good	and	inevitable	,	is	a	good	one	.	potshots	at	the	50s	icons	are	supplemented	by	sometimes	overt	,	sometimes	subtler	ironies	about	the	1990's	.	they	imply	that	today	trends	,	fads	and	above	all	conformism	are	,	under	various	guises	,	not	unlike	those	of	40	years	ago	.	it	is	a	sound	notion	to	suggest	that	in	the	90s	we	can	be	as	self	centered	or	obscurantist	as	the	pleasantvillers	.	but	the	movie	might	have	condensed	all	this	and	made	its	points	in	under	116	minutes	.	still	,	i	cannot	give	too	much	weight	to	this	objection	since	this	elaboration	,	dotting	of	the	i's	and	crossing	of	the	t's	,	is	better	than	the	ponderously	encapsulated	didacticism	that	opens	and	closes	the	twilight	zone's	episodes	.	pleasantville	the	movie	has	well	meaning	allegorical	ambitions	,	as	well	as	a	very	tricky	and	a	highly	imaginative	structure	surrounding	its	exaggerations	and	simplifications	.	it	also	has	,	with	no	exceptions	,	a	splendid	cast	that	can	be	touching	(	especially	the	characters	played	by	joan	allen	and	jeff	daniels	)	,	serio	comic	(	the	siblings	)	,	oddly	pathetic	(	william	h	.	macy	,	and	the	smartly	conceived	heavy	,	j	.	t	.	walsh	in	his	last	role	)	.	above	all	,	it	is	infinitely	more	original	and	inventive	than	the	pedestrian	,	copycat	movies	that	make	up	the	great	majority	of	what	goes	on	screens	small	and	large	,	in	this	our	time	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	one	of	the	funniest	carry	on	movies	and	the	third	with	a	medical	setting	.	the	main	story	is	about	dr	.	james	nookey	(	jim	dale	)	who	is	disliked	by	his	superiors	,	frederick	carver	,	head	of	the	hospital	(	kenneth	williams	)	,	and	dr	.	ernest	stoppidge	(	charles	hawtrey	)	who	seems	to	dislike	everyone	.	they	attempt	to	cause	him	as	much	trouble	in	the	hospital	as	possible	and	all	the	blame	is	laid	on	nookey	.	carver	learns	of	a	possible	job	opportunity	from	wealthy	ellen	moore	(	joan	sims	)	on	a	distant	tropical	island	and	gets	nookey	trannsferred	there	.	when	nookey	arrives	at	this	island	,	he	meets	gladstone	screwer	(	sid	james	)	who	has	lived	on	the	island	just	about	all	his	life	.	screwer	is	in	possession	of	a	wonderful	slimming	drug	made	from	natural	ingredients	.	dr	.	nookey	returns	with	the	drug	to	england	and	sets	up	a	new	slimming	business	with	ellen	moore's	financial	backing	.	however	,	nookey	and	moore	face	opposition	from	screwer	who	goes	to	england	to	cash	in	on	the	drug	,	and	carver	and	stoppidge	who	want	to	know	the	ingredients	to	create	a	rival	drug	.	the	performances	are	all	very	commendable	.	sid	james	has	a	slightly	ambiguous	character	to	play	this	time	and	he	excels	in	his	role	.	kenneth	williams	,	as	usual	,	plays	the	unpopular	and	cunning	head	of	the	hospital	.	joan	sims	is	entertaining	as	the	wealthy	benefactor	and	jim	dale	should	really	head	the	cast	with	his	excellent	portrayal	of	bumbling	nookey	.	charles	hawtrey	plays	an	'out	of	character'	role	as	dr	.	stoppidge	,	the	nasty	and	evil	practitioner	who	wants	to	knock	nookey	off	his	perch	.	some	critics	have	said	that	this	combination	of	hawtrey	and	stoppidge	does	not	work	well	,	but	i	think	that	it	at	least	gives	hawtrey	a	new	part	to	play	instead	of	the	usual	dimwit	characters	.	as	a	matter	of	fact	,	hawtrey	is	suitably	cunning	in	the	part	.	other	regulars	in	the	movie	include	hattie	jacques	as	the	matron	yet	again	(	but	this	part	is	probably	her	most	boring	'matron'	)	and	barbara	windsor	as	nookey's	love	interest	and	unofficial	'women's	lib'	campaigner	,	goldie	locks	.	both	jacques	and	windsor	play	their	parts	well	.	patsy	rowlands	appears	briefly	as	miss	fosdick	,	and	there	are	very	small	cameos	from	wilfrid	brambell	(	from	'steptoe	and	son'	fame	)	and	peter	butterworth	.	the	jokes	are	mostly	very	funny	,	the	story	is	quite	appealing	,	and	the	regulars	seem	interested	in	what	they're	doing	.	although	it	is	another	medical	carry	on	movie	and	some	of	the	jokes	are	borrowed	from	previous	movies	,	it	still	comes	out	on	top	(	it	is	the	best	medical	carry	on	)	because	of	the	above	factors	.	a	must	see	carry	on	movie	.
pos	directed	by	peter	lord	and	nick	park	.	screenplay	by	karey	kirkpatrick	,	from	a	story	by	lord	and	park	.	starring	julia	sawalha	,	mel	gibson	,	miranda	richardson	.	running	time	:	84	minutes	.	rated	g	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	june	27th	,	2000	.	"	chicken	run	"	is	the	first	full	length	feature	from	nick	park	,	creator	of	the	popular	"	wallace	and	gromit	"	series	of	short	films	.	like	those	movies	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	done	entirely	in	the	claymation	style	of	animation	(	albeit	far	more	advanced	than	those	old	rankin	bass	christmas	specials	from	the	sixties	that	crop	up	on	tv	every	december	)	,	and	features	a	primarily	british	cast	and	setting	.	the	result	is	a	lovely	family	film	,	one	which	is	sure	to	have	tremendous	appeal	for	the	children	while	keeping	the	grown	ups	quietly	amused	,	as	well	.	the	tweedy	chicken	farm	is	home	to	hundreds	of	imprisoned	chickens	.	some	,	like	bunty	(	imelda	staunton	)	,	raf	veteran	fowler	(	benjamin	whitrow	)	and	dimwitted	babs	(	jane	horrocks	)	seem	to	accept	their	situation	.	others	,	like	the	feisty	ginger	(	julia	sawalha	from	"	absolutely	fabulous	"	)	and	scientific	mac	(	lynn	ferguson	)	are	determined	to	escape	.	to	this	end	,	they	devise	numerous	schemes	of	sometimes	mindboggling	complexity	but	every	time	,	they	meet	with	failure	and	are	nabbed	by	the	oafish	mr	tweedy	(	tony	haygarth	)	.	observes	ginger	,	it's	not	enough	that	just	one	or	two	chickens	escape	she	wants	everyone	to	be	free	of	the	tweedys	.	then	one	day	,	rocky	rhodes	(	mel	gibson	)	,	a	smooth	talking	flying	rooster	from	america	,	lands	in	the	chicken	coop	with	an	injured	wing	.	he	claims	he	can	teach	the	chickens	to	fly	,	igniting	ginger's	hopes	and	dreams	one	more	time	.	but	the	chickens'	mission	is	given	new	urgency	when	profit	minded	mrs	tweedy	(	miranda	richardson	)	,	tired	of	making	chickenfeed	(	excuse	the	pun	)	selling	eggs	,	purchases	a	fearsome	new	pie	making	machine	.	"	chickens	go	in	,	pies	come	out	,	"	she	declares	.	"	oooh	,	"	says	mr	tweedy	,	"	what	kind	of	pies	?	"	visually	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	a	treat	.	it	doesn't	possess	the	same	kind	of	awe	inspiring	cinematography	as	the	summer's	previous	kid	oriented	picture	,	"	dinosaur	"	,	but	rather	allows	the	viewer	to	feast	upon	the	details	of	its	every	frame	.	there's	a	lot	going	on	in	each	scene	of	"	chicken	run	"	,	and	i	was	particularly	impressed	by	how	so	many	of	the	claymation	puppets	were	given	distinct	mannerisms	,	like	babs'	constant	knitting	.	claymation	is	a	very	different	,	more	tactile	style	of	animation	than	hand	drawn	or	computerised	cartoons	,	giving	the	events	an	extra	layer	of	reality	,	no	matter	how	outlandish	the	goings	on	.	this	is	particularly	effective	in	scenes	like	one	where	rocky	and	ginger	are	trapped	in	the	bowels	of	the	pie	machine	.	the	dangers	are	still	comical	but	they	feel	more	real	,	and	the	entire	voyage	through	the	contraption	is	all	the	more	fascinating	because	of	it	.	nowhere	is	this	more	true	than	in	the	movie's	outstanding	climax	,	a	more	thrilling	and	inventive	ending	than	most	films	so	far	this	year	.	you'll	believe	a	chicken	can	fly	.	.	.	as	it	were	.	the	voicework	is	generally	accomplished	,	particularly	amongst	the	british	cast	:	mel	gibson	does	a	fine	job	as	rocky	,	but	he's	clearly	just	playing	a	skewed	version	of	his	own	public	image	here	.	the	other	artistes	give	their	characters	more	personality	,	and	as	a	result	chickens	like	ginger	and	fowler	come	across	as	better	rounded	individuals	.	indeed	,	the	animals	of	"	chicken	run	"	are	by	and	large	more	interesting	than	the	humans	in	most	other	movies	this	summer	!	richardson	,	meanwhile	,	finds	just	the	right	note	as	the	fiendish	but	not	too	exaggerated	mrs	tweedy	.	and	horrocks	is	perhaps	best	of	all	as	the	simple	minded	,	put	upon	mr	tweedy	,	who	is	the	only	one	aware	that	the	chickens	are	plotting	an	escape	(	"	the	chickens	they've	organised	!	"	he	protests	to	his	disbelieving	wife	)	.	as	a	comedy	,	"	chicken	run	"	is	funny	,	but	i	suspect	children	will	get	more	laughs	out	of	it	than	adults	.	certainly	,	i	found	the	movie	made	me	just	smile	more	often	than	outright	guffaw	.	that	said	,	there	are	definitely	elements	intended	for	both	age	groups	,	and	the	screenplay	by	karey	kirkpatrick	slips	in	several	references	which	only	the	grown	ups	will	get	the	chickens	meet	in	hut	17	,	for	example	,	a	sly	reference	to	the	world	war	ii	internment	movie	"	stalag	17	"	,	starring	william	holden	.	viewers	should	particularly	keep	an	eye	out	for	the	cleverly	named	nick	and	fetcher	(	timothy	spall	from	"	topsy	turvy	"	and	phil	daniels	)	,	two	rats	who	supply	the	chickens	with	merchandise	for	a	price	.	this	pair	forms	a	hilarious	double	act	,	and	steal	virtually	every	scene	they're	in	.	be	sure	to	stick	around	for	their	post	credits	conversation	.	"	chicken	run	"	avoids	the	pitfall	of	many	kids'	movies	by	not	being	particularly	preachy	or	heavy	handed	in	getting	its	message	across	.	there's	a	lot	of	good	stuff	here	,	about	teamwork	and	never	giving	up	,	but	kirkpatrick	doesn't	belabor	the	point	.	he	trusts	that	his	audience	is	intelligent	enough	to	figure	these	things	out	for	themselves	;	i	wish	other	movies	had	this	kind	of	faith	.	parents	will	also	be	glad	to	learn	that	,	content	wise	,	"	chicken	run	"	should	be	suitable	for	just	about	any	age	.	there	are	scenes	of	suspense	(	like	the	aforementioned	journey	through	the	pie	machine	)	,	but	these	are	tempered	with	a	lot	of	humor	and	shouldn't	prove	notably	frightening	.	even	scenes	depicting	the	stark	reality	of	the	chicken	farm	a	chicken	who	can	no	longer	lay	eggs	is	beheaded	and	cooked	for	dinner	by	the	tweedys	,	for	instance	are	handled	in	a	careful	manner	that	gets	the	idea	across	without	being	unnecessarily	traumatising	.	"	chicken	run	"	is	just	what	the	box	office	needed	amongst	the	tidal	wave	of	big	budget	summer	actions	flicks	:	a	good	natured	,	funny	movie	that	pretty	much	anyone	can	enjoy	.	well	written	,	well	acted	and	certainly	well	made	,	"	chicken	run	"	may	by	the	best	family	movie	this	year	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	chickenrun	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	chickenrun	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
pos	bob	the	happy	bastard's	quickie	review	:	so	what's	the	problem	with	48	hours	clones	these	days	?	they	always	try	for	the	same	thing	that	eddie	murphy	and	nick	nolte	had	.	that	was	the	problem	that	plagued	these	clones	,	not	to	mention	the	actual	sequel	:	another	48	hours	,	a	complete	waste	of	film	.	but	,	at	last	,	someone	has	a	different	take	on	the	matter	,	and	it's	director	brett	rainer	.	rush	hour	features	jackie	chan	in	his	first	u	.	s	.	action	movie	,	playing	a	chinese	detective	who's	being	flown	to	the	us	to	investigate	the	kidnapping	of	the	chinese	consulate's	daughter	.	of	course	,	the	fbi	is	upset	that	he'll	be	interfering	in	their	investigation	,	and	stick	him	with	an	lapd	office	with	a	big	mouth	of	course	,	that's	chris	tucker	.	what	makes	rush	hour	work	so	damn	well	is	the	chemistry	between	the	energetic	chan	and	the	absolutely	hilarious	tucker	.	tucker	mouths	off	to	chan	at	every	given	opportunity	(	"	i'm	michael	jackson	,	you	tito	.	"	)	,	and	chan	delivers	a	few	zingers	of	his	own	,	as	well	as	some	terrific	fight	scenes	.	the	story's	pretty	much	your	average	fare	,	but	with	a	decent	twist	involving	the	main	villain	,	a	highly	clouded	figure	named	jun	tao	.	at	least	it's	entertaining	,	and	the	concept	is	excellently	realized	.	a	particular	fight	scene	in	a	chinese	office	,	where	chan	and	tucker	duke	it	out	with	the	bad	guys	,	is	funny	and	energetic	at	the	same	time	.	and	the	finale's	a	real	treat	as	well	.	.	.	chan	delivers	yet	another	fantastic	stunt	for	the	fans	with	a	10	story	drop	.	rush	hour	is	just	the	sort	of	film	you'll	get	a	kick	out	of	on	any	night	of	the	week	.	just	make	sure	you	don't	look	for	anything	culturally	different	and	you'll	be	fine	drunken	master	ii	this	ain't	.
pos	austin	powers	:	the	spy	who	shagged	me	(	1999	)	reviewed	by	eugene	novikov	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	ultimate	movie	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	ultimate	movie	.	com	a	member	:	online	film	critics	society	starring	mike	meyers	,	heather	graham	,	seth	green	,	verne	troyer	.	rated	pg	13	(	but	should	be	r	)	.	when	a	someone	journeys	to	the	theater	to	see	a	comedy	,	he	always	risks	having	to	sit	through	inanity	such	as	what	we	recently	saw	in	films	like	edtv	and	office	space	.	it	really	is	too	bad	that	comedies	are	so	hit	and	miss	,	because	when	a	moviegoer	goes	in	a	theater	expecting	to	be	amused	,	it	really	is	a	shame	when	the	alleged	comedy	fails	to	deliver	.	but	weep	not	,	dear	readers	,	because	the	latest	comedy	out	of	the	hollywood	movie	mill	is	nothing	less	than	a	sure	bet	.	austin	powers	:	the	spy	who	shagged	me	is	one	of	the	funniest	things	i've	had	the	pleasure	to	see	in	a	long	time	;	a	completely	looney	,	delightful	parody	of	the	often	pretentious	james	bond	flicks	.	if	all	comedies	(	or	even	half	;	or	what	am	i	saying	?	even	a	fifth	of	them	)	could	be	this	consistently	hysterical	,	i	would	take	up	residence	at	my	local	multiplex	.	even	more	to	this	movie's	credit	is	the	fact	that	it	is	a	sequel	to	the	1997	sleeper	cult	hit	austin	powers	:	international	man	of	mystery	.	the	original	came	out	of	nowhere	;	it	was	a	low	budget	,	eccentric	movie	that	many	expected	to	flop	like	a	leslie	nielsen	parody	.	all	of	a	sudden	it	was	being	quoted	by	teenagers	all	over	america	.	ironically	,	powers'	"	yeeeeah	baby	,	yeah	!	"	has	almost	become	an	icon	of	the	late	90s	.	thus	another	installment	was	inevitable	,	but	it's	also	undoubtedly	welcome	.	the	spy	who	shagged	me	is	one	of	the	most	unrestrained	,	over	the	top	comedies	i	have	ever	seen	in	my	entire	life	.	it	brings	back	most	of	the	characters	from	its	predecessor	(	even	if	only	briefly	)	and	adds	new	ones	.	austin	powers	(	mike	myers	)	,	a	swinging	hipster	from	the	60s	transported	into	the	90s	has	to	go	back	to	his	own	time	to	get	back	his	mojo	(	oh	,	you'll	figure	it	out	)	,	which	dr	.	evil	(	meyers	again	)	has	stolen	.	he	enlists	the	help	of	a	gorgeous	secret	agent	felicity	shagwell	(	now	that	his	prior	sidekick	vanessa	has	been	properly	disposed	of	in	a	hilarious	opening	sequence	)	,	played	without	much	distinguishable	gusto	by	heather	graham	and	together	they	go	back	to	the	60s	to	defeat	dr	.	evil	yet	again	.	surprisingly	,	the	real	star	is	dr	.	evil	rather	than	austin	.	he	gets	most	of	the	screen	time	because	he	was	so	popular	in	the	first	movie	.	perhaps	this	is	true	because	he	is	portrayed	and	written	so	affectionately	.	instead	of	being	the	scheming	,	villainous	mad	scientist	we	might	expect	from	a	character	like	this	he	is	a	bumbling	,	often	sweet	mad	scientist	wannabe	.	the	spy	who	shagged	me	has	much	of	the	same	stuff	we	saw	in	the	original	,	but	that's	okay	by	me	because	the	original	left	us	wanting	more	.	by	the	time	that	one	was	over	we	haven't	had	nearly	our	share	of	shag	jokes	,	crude	puns	and	powers'	antics	and	this	sequel	satisfies	our	appetites	.	even	by	its	conclusions	,	i'm	still	not	sure	i've	had	my	fill	of	bits	like	"	do	you	smoke	after	sex	?	"	"	i	don't	know	,	baby	,	i	never	looked	.	"	this	may	seem	awfully	immature	of	me	,	but	understand	that	the	austin	powers	series	,	unlike	most	of	the	crap	hollywood	feeds	us	these	days	,	is	genuinely	funny	.	i	don't	know	if	i've	ever	laughed	harder	at	any	movie	than	i	did	during	the	jerry	springer	send	up	or	the	indubitably	hilarious	"	just	the	two	of	us	"	rendition	by	dr	.	evil	and	his	new	miniature	clone	named	"	mini	me	"	.	i	don't	have	any	pretensions	that	this	is	particularly	smart	social	satire	or	anything	of	the	sort	.	indeed	there	is	little	beyond	the	joy	a	viewer	feels	when	he	sees	something	that	is	able	to	entertain	him	as	much	as	this	movie	did	.	but	as	far	as	i'm	concerned	,	that	is	enough	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
pos	tarzan	chad'z	rating	:	(	out	of	4	good	)	1999	,	g	,	90	minutes	1	hour	,	30	minutes	animated	adventure	drama	starring	the	voices	of	:	tony	goldwyn	(	tarzan	)	,	minnie	driver	(	jane	porter	)	,	lance	henriksen	(	kerchak	)	,	brian	blessed	(	clayton	)	;	written	by	tab	murphy	,	bob	tzudiker	,	noni	white	;	produced	by	bonnie	arnold	;	directed	by	chris	buck	,	kevin	lima	;	based	on	the	story	tarzan	of	the	apes'	and	characters	created	by	edgar	rice	burroughs	.	seen	july	4	,	1999	at	7	:	15	p	.	m	.	at	crossgates	cinemas	18	(	guilderland	,	ny	)	,	theater	9	,	by	myself	for	free	using	my	hoyts	season	pass	.	theater	rating	:	1	2	:	very	good	sound	,	picture	and	seats	title	:	tarzan'	beautiful	to	look	at	,	easy	to	follow	.	review	:	disney	continues	its	trend	of	producing	animated	summer	blockbuster	movies	meant	mostly	for	children	but	with	enough	wit	and	charm	for	adults	to	be	interested	and	at	least	entertained	by	the	story	.	the	basic	premise	is	the	same	as	every	other	tarzan'	story	:	a	boy	is	raised	in	the	african	jungle	by	gorillas	and	becomes	one	himself	never	really	understanding	(	or	even	noticing	)	that	he's	human	and	is	a	lot	different	from	the	animals	he	befriends	.	the	first	third	of	the	film	shows	how	tarzan	comes	to	be	adopted	by	kala	(	voiced	by	glen	close	)	,	a	female	gorilla	who	lost	her	own	child	in	a	classic	case	of	darwanism	.	her	mate	,	kerchak	(	henriksen	)	,	is	a	mean	,	conservative	leader	of	the	pack	of	gorillas	who	make	up	tarzan's	extended	family	.	he	refuses	to	acknowledge	tarzan	(	voiced	by	alex	d	.	linz	during	the	childhood	scenes	)	as	a	son	and	often	has	to	hold	himself	back	from	killing	tarzan	after	he	continually	does	dangerous	,	wild	things	that	are	the	result	of	his	own	childish	instincts	.	i	have	a	feeling	children	will	quickly	be	able	to	identify	with	tarzan	since	all	he	really	is	is	just	a	kid	who	wants	to	have	fun	and	it's	funny	how	the	adults	fail	to	comprehend	this	.	later	,	as	the	story	transitions	from	tarzan	as	a	child	to	a	full	grown	man	(	voiced	by	goldwyn	)	,	he	is	encounter	by	a	party	of	three	humans	from	england	:	jane	porter	(	driver	)	,	a	beautiful	woman	who	is	something	of	a	zoologist	and	an	artist	,	her	father	prof	.	archimedes	q	.	porter	(	voiced	by	nigel	hawthorne	)	who	is	also	a	scientist	;	and	their	slick	and	cunning	,	yet	barbaric	safari	bodyguard	clayton	(	blessed	)	.	it's	easy	to	tell	where	the	story	is	going	at	all	times	but	the	screenplay	doesn't	seem	like	it	was	written	hastily	nor	dumbed	down	for	children's	enjoyment	.	sure	there's	a	lot	of	cliche	stuff	here	,	like	clayton's	smugness	and	diabolical	manipulation	of	tarzan	and	jane	;	the	goofy	supporting	characters	(	voiced	by	rosie	o'donnell	in	full	brooklyn	accent	!	and	wayne	knight	hello	newman	!	'	)	.	there's	also	a	lot	of	fun	action	such	as	tarzan's	swinging	through	the	jungle	on	vines	and	sliding	down	and	around	tree	branches	and	trunks	.	it's	just	like	skateboarding	really	fast	and	doing	all	sorts	of	tricks	(	those	mcdonald's	commercials	really	prove	this	point	)	.	ultimately	,	you	get	exactly	out	of	tarzan'	what	you	expect	.	.	.	and	i	mean	that	as	a	compliment	,	so	have	high	expectations	.	pros	:	animation	and	sound	are	a	feast	for	the	senses	,	story	is	lighthearted	,	breezy	and	not	dumbed	down	,	no	stupid	sing	along	songs	to	get	stuck	in	your	head	.	cons	:	surprisingly	violent	,	should	have	been	rated	pg	.	young	children	may	not	understand	some	of	the	more	adult	themes	(	parents	,	be	ready	to	have	some	heavy	questions	thrown	your	way	)	.	running	time	is	a	bit	short	.	would	you	recommend	this	to	friends	?	not	to	my	friends	,	but	to	the	movie	going	public	i	would	.	score	:	(	out	of	)	or	4	(	out	of	5	with	no	0	rating	)	.	please	visit	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	index	.	html	"	chad'z	movie	page	a	over	220	new	and	old	movies	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	blather	capsules	.	member	of	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	ofcs	.	org	"	the	o	.	f	.	c	.	s	.	a	(	online	film	critics	society	)
pos	stan	laurel	and	oliver	hardy	would	probably	enjoy	'mouse	hunt'	.	the	humour	is	designed	to	be	something	straight	out	of	one	of	their	movies	.	the	great	slapstick	duo	of	film's	early	years	cannot	be	compared	to	anyone	so	the	comparison	to	them	is	only	in	the	style	of	comedy	projected	by	this	movie	.	two	brothers	(	nathan	lane	and	lee	evans	)	have	inherited	two	things	upon	the	death	of	their	father	(	william	hickey	)	.	the	first	is	a	string	factory	falling	on	hard	times	and	the	second	is	a	creaky	and	neglected	mansion	built	in	1876	.	at	first	thought	,	it	appears	that	the	house	is	worthless	but	upon	further	examination	of	some	blueprints	they	discover	,	it	occurs	to	them	that	the	year	1876	was	the	american	centennial	and	they	also	discover	that	the	house	was	built	by	a	world	renowned	architect	admired	by	the	wealthy	.	one	man	offers	the	brothers	a	substantial	amount	for	the	dwelling	and	tells	them	that	he	has	over	40	other	houses	designed	by	the	same	architect	.	they	decline	his	offer	because	they	feel	they	can	get	more	by	auctioning	it	off	.	embarking	on	a	much	needed	renovation	,	the	brothers	find	there	is	a	slight	problem	which	may	lower	the	property	value	of	their	house	;	a	mouse	!	they	feel	that	the	problem	could	be	more	than	one	mouse	but	it	turns	out	from	the	audience's	look	at	the	film	that	there	is	indeed	only	one	mouse	who	feels	the	two	brothers	are	the	invaders	and	not	him	.	the	mouse	is	extremely	clever	as	he	avoids	traps	and	leads	the	brothers	into	creating	more	destruction	for	themselves	in	their	attempt	to	catch	him	.	the	mouse	steals	an	entire	block	of	round	cheese	by	rolling	it	like	a	wheel	.	he	has	the	brothers	fall	victim	to	their	multiple	mouse	traps	and	he	even	outsmarts	an	expert	exterminator	(	christopher	walken	)	in	a	key	role	approaching	it	like	he	was	a	bounty	hunter	.	'mouse	hunt'	is	a	good	family	film	addressing	the	necessary	comic	turns	comparable	to	the	dark	punch	of	a	boxing	glove	and	lee	evans	is	hilarious	as	the	better	of	the	two	brothers	named	smuntz	.	sounds	like	a	name	perfect	for	comedy	.	the	interesting	thing	about	the	movie	is	that	the	scenes	with	the	rodent	rascal	are	done	three	ways	.	with	a	real	mouse	,	a	mechanical	one	and	a	computer	enhanced	one	for	those	scenes	that	look	cartoonish	and	that	is	much	of	the	films	content	.	much	of	the	humour	is	dark	but	also	very	cute	with	special	appeal	to	children	and	while	it	is	a	cross	between	a	road	runner	cartoon	and	a	laurel	and	hardy	slapstick	feature	,	it	still	is	worth	a	look	.
pos	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	among	my	fanatical	ticker	tape	worshipping	friends	,	there's	one	who	happens	to	share	the	same	philosophy	espoused	by	the	central	character	in	darren	aronofsky's	darkly	original	pi	:	the	entire	stock	market	can	be	reduced	to	nothing	but	a	series	of	patterns	which	,	through	analysis	,	will	produce	information	to	accurately	forecast	future	behaviour	.	(	an	example	of	the	mentality	involved	:	if	the	stock	price	goes	up	like	this	,	and	then	down	like	that	,	and	then	sharply	up	this	way	,	it	then	will	go	this	way	.	)	while	i	freely	admit	that	i	know	less	than	nothing	about	the	market	(	knowledge	check	:	prices	up	good	;	prices	down	bad	;	most	of	the	time	,	at	least	)	and	hence	really	couldn't	comment	with	any	authority	,	it's	always	nonetheless	struck	me	as	an	incredibly	naive	oversimplification	of	an	astonishingly	complex	system	(	and	besides	,	if	it	were	that	simple	,	no	doubt	somebody	would've	already	figured	it	all	out	)	.	the	difference	in	this	case	is	that	while	my	colleague	(	an	otherwise	assuredly	realistic	individual	)	truly	believes	in	this	in	and	of	itself	as	a	valid	forecaster	,	pi	uses	this	ideology	as	a	device	with	which	to	investigate	its	character's	psychosis	.	it's	also	vastly	more	convincing	with	its	argument	.	"	mathematics	is	the	language	of	the	universe	,	"	insists	genius	protagonist	maximillian	cohen	(	sean	gullette	)	in	a	cool	,	mantra	like	voice	over	which	repeats	throughout	the	picture	.	since	nature	can	be	expressed	in	numbers	,	and	there	are	patterns	everywhere	in	nature	,	he	reasons	with	eminent	logic	that	finding	the	patterns	will	allow	him	to	predict	anything	the	ups	and	downs	of	the	stock	market	,	how	many	games	the	yankees	will	win	this	year	,	the	flavour	of	jam	i'm	going	to	put	on	my	toast	tomorrow	morning	.	obsessed	with	finding	the	proverbial	key	to	the	universe	,	max	lives	in	paranoid	,	self	imposed	solitude	in	a	seedy	nyc	chinatown	apartment	,	single	mindedly	toiling	away	with	his	monstrous	homemade	computer	system	.	sullenly	withdrawn	and	plauged	by	debilitating	migraines	,	the	elusive	pursuit	of	a	mysterious	216	digit	number	his	machine	spits	out	one	day	is	driving	him	into	madness	.	the	story	,	then	,	is	basically	an	eccentricity	,	but	it's	a	clever	,	astute	eccentricity	,	perceptively	zeroing	in	on	the	modern	mistrust	of	mathematical	reductionism	;	in	an	age	where	a	dominant	societal	phobia	is	one's	individualism	being	replaced	by	a	series	of	numeric	identifiers	,	max's	all	consuming	penchent	for	numbers	at	once	creates	a	lingering	,	unsettling	mood	.	it	helps	matters	that	he's	not	a	particularly	likable	protagonist	.	all	attempts	of	friendliness	from	neighbours	are	curtly	rebuffed	by	max	,	a	spindly	,	neurotic	looking	individual	who	hasn't	the	time	to	indulge	in	pleasantries	.	for	a	film	which	puts	its	lead	character	front	and	center	(	mr	.	gullette	appears	in	virtually	every	scene	)	,	pi	takes	a	refreshing	and	effective	approach	in	avoiding	conventional	aesthetics	;	because	of	our	ambivalence	with	max	,	we're	not	so	much	avidly	rooting	for	him	to	triumph	with	a	moment	of	epiphany	as	we're	following	him	through	this	plot	with	a	sense	of	mixed	dread	and	morbid	fascination	it's	more	disturbing	journey	than	quest	.	still	,	we	do	care	about	max's	fate	.	teetering	on	the	edge	of	dementia	,	he	winds	up	being	pursued	by	two	different	groups	which	want	to	pick	his	brain	,	both	fronted	by	deliciously	perky	,	resolutely	cheerful	representatives	with	inevitably	duplictious	intentions	.	as	we	know	,	in	films	where	paranoia	is	a	dominant	element	(	see	the	truman	show's	laura	linney	character	)	,	or	for	that	matter	,	in	real	life	,	it's	always	the	ones	who	never	stop	smiling	at	you	and	are	overly	friendly	that	are	the	ones	of	which	to	be	wary	.	pi	,	a	film	that	addresses	patterns	,	itself	intentionally	adheres	to	an	identifiable	pattern	cycle	headache	scene	;	important	revelation	or	bit	of	plot	development	;	pill	popping	montage	;	hallucinatory	nightmare	(	with	decidedly	cronenberg	esque	undertones	few	other	directors	are	as	equally	adept	in	bridging	unsettling	concepts	and	body	themed	horror	)	;	nosebleeding	reality	.	the	repetitiveness	,	far	from	being	tedious	,	is	effectively	maddening	;	more	than	anything	,	the	picture	aims	to	get	under	our	skins	and	take	in	events	from	max's	claustrophobic	perspective	.	in	this	regard	,	it	wildly	succeeds	due	to	mr	.	aronofsky's	striking	direction	.	it's	a	rarity	that	a	film	so	completely	immerses	itself	into	a	protagonist's	warped	perspective	of	his	surrounding	,	and	high	contrast	black	and	white	cinematography	combined	with	constant	usage	of	extreme	close	ups	lend	a	heightened	sense	of	paranoia	to	the	proceedings	.	(	in	some	scenes	,	the	stark	composition	in	conjunction	with	the	lumbering	approach	by	mr	.	gullette	make	his	character	curiously	resemble	a	latter	day	max	schreck	,	from	nosferatu	.	)	using	savage	,	jittery	lensing	and	rapid	cuts	to	create	a	sense	of	disorientation	,	the	picture	is	often	dizzying	to	behold	,	and	max's	effective	isolationism	is	emphasized	by	shots	from	the	so	called	snorri	cam	,	which	keep	him	in	plain	focus	while	the	environment	races	by	in	blurred	bursts	.	pi's	raw	,	aggressive	visuals	are	reminiscent	of	david	lynch's	early	work	(	in	particular	,	eraserhead	)	.	the	film's	sinister	tone	splashes	onto	the	screen	immediately	with	a	dazzling	opening	credit	sequence	ably	backed	by	a	sly	electronic	score	by	clint	mansell	,	and	gradually	increases	in	intensity	.	still	,	amidst	all	its	kafkaesque	qualities	and	overall	dispassionate	mood	,	pi	does	occasionally	display	a	sense	of	humour	.	at	one	point	,	marcy	dawson	(	pamela	hart	,	great	fun	)	entices	max	with	the	offer	of	an	invaluable	treasure	:	a	one	of	a	kind	.	.	.	computer	chip	.	"	isn't	it	beautiful	,	"	she	coos	.	a	showcase	for	mr	.	aronofsky's	technical	virtuosity	(	made	for	60	000	,	it's	since	gone	on	to	capture	acclaim	at	the	1998	sundance	film	festival	)	,	pi	is	an	intriguingly	cerebral	story	which	,	ironically	,	is	perhaps	the	most	purely	visceral	film	of	the	year	.
pos	1997	,	r	,	127	minutes	2	hours	,	7	minutes	starring	:	johnny	depp	(	joe	pistone	donnie	brasco	)	,	al	pacino	(	lefty	)	,	anne	heche	(	maggie	pistone	)	,	michael	madsen	(	sonny	)	;	written	by	paul	attanasio	;	produced	by	louis	digiaimo	,	mark	johnson	,	barry	levinson	,	gail	mutrux	;	directed	by	mike	newell	;	based	on	the	book	"	donnie	brasco	:	my	undercover	life	in	the	mafia	"	by	joseph	d	.	pistone	,	richard	woodley	.	seen	february	15	,	1998	on	home	video	(	borrowed	from	chris	wessell	)	.	when	it	comes	to	modern	gangster	movies	,	it's	really	difficult	to	describe	and	review	them	without	making	comparisons	to	other	films	of	the	genre	and	or	just	using	the	word	"	routine	.	"	i've	always	subscribed	to	the	philosophy	that	any	idea	(	no	matter	how	many	times	it's	been	used	before	)	can	provide	for	a	good	story	and	"	donnie	brasco	"	clinches	this	idea	.	it's	not	unlike	most	of	the	great	films	of	the	genre	,	yet	it	never	apes	another's	style	as	it	has	a	good	layer	of	authenticity	,	even	if	its	core	is	a	tad	stale	.	the	film	starts	off	in	typical	fashion	by	defining	its	atmosphere	of	new	york	city	in	the	late	1970s	and	the	mobsters	who	inhibit	it	.	we	meet	lefty	(	pacino	)	,	an	aging	wiseguy	who	can	still	walk	the	walk	and	talk	the	talk	.	he	and	his	associates	go	through	the	generic	motions	you	expect	to	see	in	crime	films	like	this	.	somehow	he	comes	across	donnie	brasco	(	depp	)	,	a	younger	guy	with	a	lot	of	spunk	who	isn't	afraid	of	lefty	and	his	rep	,	and	even	manages	to	befriend	him	after	lefty	was	ready	to	kill	him	.	it's	clear	donnie	is	new	to	the	life	and	lefty	recognizes	this	immediately	,	telling	him	all	the	tricks	of	the	trade	.	i	have	never	seen	this	technique	of	actually	revealing	the	mafioso	idiosyncrasies	done	before	and	for	this	the	film	deserves	credit	.	however	,	we	soon	realize	donnie	is	actually	joe	pistone	,	an	fbi	agent	working	undercover	a	character	who	symbolizes	the	viewer	as	he	will	soon	be	purged	into	the	lifestyle	and	treated	as	a	newcomer	.	the	first	act	works	as	a	guided	to	ot	of	rhetoric	about	wiseguy	honor	,	a	brief	history	of	the	mob	,	definitions	of	their	slang	,	and	where	their	money	comes	from	and	who	it	goes	to	.	the	screenplay	is	rather	sketchy	on	the	details	surrounding	these	elements	,	however	,	the	fact	they	are	mentioned	at	all	is	quite	original	.	most	gangster	movies	seem	to	be	made	with	the	notion	the	viewer	already	knows	how	the	mob	works	(	probably	from	watching	other	gangster	movies	)	,	and	although	this	attitude	comes	across	,	the	film	tries	to	fill	in	all	the	holes	where	and	when	it	can	and	the	effort	is	appreciable	.	thankfully	the	film	doesn't	become	too	caught	up	in	the	tedious	details	of	organized	crime	,	and	instead	opts	for	character	development	.	much	of	the	story	is	told	simply	through	the	interaction	between	lefty	and	donnie	.	pacino	is	outstanding	here	as	the	pathetic	hood	who	speaks	of	his	job	in	the	same	manner	any	blue	collar	worker	would	.	he's	old	and	exhausted	but	seems	to	enjoy	what	he	does	,	just	as	anyone	loyal	to	the	same	employer	for	over	30	years	might	be	.	we	learn	of	his	accomplishments	,	which	are	quite	impressive	within	their	context	,	and	when	he	complains	about	not	being	made	top	boss	,	it's	easy	to	sympathize	with	him	.	newell	constantly	plays	up	this	aspect	,	making	it	a	major	theme	which	works	well	in	the	long	run	.	as	donnie	is	constantly	impressing	and	even	one	upping	lefty	,	it's	hard	to	tell	which	emotion	is	more	powerful	:	the	fact	donnie	is	getting	closer	to	nailing	the	mob	;	or	the	fact	lefty	has	once	again	been	over	shadowed	.	most	of	the	film	tells	the	story	of	donnie's	life	in	mafia	,	which	creates	for	many	sub	plots	and	individual	conflicts	,	but	doesn't	always	seem	to	come	together	as	a	whole	.	the	storytelling	is	genuinely	interesting	throughout	,	even	when	the	motions	the	characters	go	through	seem	familiar	.	the	resonance	to	donnie's	actual	assignment	varies	,	he	often	reports	back	to	the	feds	with	detail	of	his	progress	,	but	it	doesn't	always	seem	to	have	much	meaning	.	back	home	,	his	wife	maggie	(	heche	)	is	ready	to	divorce	him	because	he's	never	a	and	the	family	is	suffering	.	since	this	is	based	on	a	true	story	i	wouldn't	doubt	this	would	happen	,	although	the	way	it	is	handled	often	borders	on	the	melodramatic	.	my	only	major	complaint	is	the	film	seems	to	have	no	final	act	,	or	at	least	any	real	sense	of	closure	.	a	climax	of	sorts	does	occur	,	but	there's	little	feeling	of	a	payoff	.	we	get	a	happy	ending	,	which	is	good	,	but	perhaps	a	sad	ending	would	have	been	more	powerful	.	aside	from	a	few	minor	,	general	flaws	,	"	donnie	brasco	"	manages	to	be	a	solid	piece	of	storytelling	and	character	development	.	it	may	be	routine	,	but	it's	good	,	and	that's	respectful	.	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	190	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.	also	,	check	out	the	first	shay	astar	web	page	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	shayastar	.	html	a
pos	directed	by	robert	zemeckis	.	screenplay	by	clark	gregg	,	from	a	story	by	sarah	kernochan	and	gregg	.	starring	michelle	pfeiffer	,	harrison	ford	,	diana	scarwid	.	running	time	:	129	minutes	.	rated	aa	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	july	25th	,	2000	.	when	i	went	to	see	"	the	sixth	sense	"	for	the	first	time	last	year	,	i	was	dismayed	by	how	much	of	the	first	two	thirds	of	the	film	was	spoiled	by	the	trailer	.	the	movie	was	obviously	constructed	with	the	assumption	that	the	viewer	was	unaware	haley	joel	osment's	character	could	see	dead	people	.	otherwise	,	the	entire	opening	act	constituted	a	thinly	veiled	exercise	in	misdirection	,	and	i	have	more	respect	for	the	picture	than	to	believe	that	.	in	the	end	,	although	i	was	very	much	entertained	"	the	sixth	sense	"	,	i	was	left	wondering	how	much	more	enthralled	i	would	have	been	had	so	much	not	been	revealed	to	me	in	the	promotional	material	.	a	year	later	,	and	wouldn't	you	know	that	history	has	repeated	itself	.	this	time	,	the	offending	party	is	the	preview	for	"	what	lies	beneath	"	,	the	new	thriller	starring	michelle	pfeiffer	and	harrison	ford	,	and	directed	by	robert	zemeckis	(	"	back	to	the	future	"	,	"	forrest	gump	"	)	.	as	poorly	conceived	as	the	trailer	for	"	the	sixth	sense	"	was	,	its	"	what	lies	beneath	"	counterpart	is	infinitely	more	risible	.	in	this	day	and	age	of	inspired	,	creative	marketing	strategies	like	the	"	blair	witch	project	"	website	and	the	"	x	men	"	political	campaign	,	it	amazes	me	that	we	are	still	forced	to	endure	such	hamfisted	efforts	as	this	one	.	however	,	i	refuse	to	review	"	what	lies	beneath	"	on	the	basis	of	its	trailer	alone	(	although	i	am	rather	appalled	that	zemeckis	has	actually	condoned	it	because	,	essentially	,	he	doesn't	think	people	will	see	his	movie	without	knowing	the	plot	beforehand	)	.	it	is	true	to	say	that	my	enjoyment	of	the	film	was	hampered	because	i	had	too	much	foreknowledge	of	the	events	.	but	i	will	make	every	effort	to	set	this	aside	,	and	review	"	what	lies	beneath	"	on	its	own	merits	.	as	the	film	opens	,	norman	spencer	(	ford	)	and	his	wife	claire	(	pfeiffer	)	are	seeing	their	daughter	off	to	college	,	leaving	just	the	two	of	them	alone	in	their	old	lakeside	vermont	cottage	.	spencer	is	a	genetics	professor	who	sometimes	seems	married	more	to	his	work	than	to	his	wife	.	as	a	result	,	claire	is	often	left	alone	in	the	house	.	when	neighbour	warren	feur's	wife	mary	(	miranda	otto	)	goes	missing	after	an	argument	,	strange	things	start	happening	.	doors	open	by	themselves	,	electronics	misbehave	,	and	claire	thinks	she	sees	a	face	in	the	water	.	she	becomes	convinced	that	warren	(	james	remar	)	has	murdered	his	wife	,	and	that	she	is	now	being	haunted	by	mary's	ghost	.	norman	,	however	,	thinks	his	wife	is	going	insane	.	with	"	what	lies	beneath	"	,	zemeckis	is	clearly	trying	to	evoke	hitchcock	.	most	obviously	,	the	entire	subplot	about	the	feurs	is	a	lift	right	out	of	my	own	all	time	favourite	movie	,	"	rear	window	"	,	as	claire	spies	on	the	neighbours	through	binoculars	and	finds	disturbing	but	circumstantial	evidence	of	foul	play	.	but	here	is	one	way	the	trailer	helps	to	undermine	the	picture	(	and	if	you	haven't	seen	it	,	skip	to	the	next	paragraph	now	)	.	we	know	that	the	ghost	isn't	mary	feur	,	so	the	entire	sequence	which	occupies	most	of	the	first	half	of	the	movie	feels	exactly	like	the	elaborate	red	herring	that	it	is	.	as	a	result	,	i	found	myself	impatiently	wanting	the	movie	to	just	get	on	with	it	.	zemeckis	does	successfully	create	a	creepy	atmosphere	;	there	are	plenty	of	scares	in	"	what	lies	beneath	"	,	and	some	of	the	effects	(	the	face	in	the	water	,	a	message	in	the	condensation	on	a	bathroom	mirror	)	are	understated	but	work	very	well	.	the	movie	is	cheapened	,	though	,	by	the	use	of	several	thriller	cliches	the	sudden	appearance	of	a	family	pet	,	the	best	friend	with	coincidental	occult	inclinations	,	the	killer	who	just	won't	die	.	most	notably	,	zemeckis	badly	overuses	the	device	of	having	a	character	suddenly	appear	in	the	frame	.	this	was	effective	the	first	few	times	,	but	it	got	rather	silly	when	i	lost	track	of	the	number	of	times	it	occurred	.	helping	to	foster	the	sinister	atmosphere	is	a	fine	performance	by	pfeiffer	,	whose	character	is	vulnerable	and	confused	,	but	not	weak	.	she	remains	a	captivating	actor	,	able	to	communicate	more	with	her	eyes	than	many	performers	can	with	their	whole	body	.	pfeiffer	is	particularly	good	in	scenes	where	she	becomes	possessed	by	the	ghost	,	seemlessly	assuming	an	persona	without	exaggerating	the	change	.	ford	starts	off	weakly	,	mumbling	his	way	through	the	early	scenes	,	but	finds	his	stride	in	the	latter	half	.	it	is	good	to	see	the	actor	return	to	roles	with	a	bit	of	an	edge	to	them	,	unlike	the	straight	laced	,	do	no	wrong	heroes	he	has	portrayed	for	much	of	the	past	decade	in	films	like	"	patriot	games	"	and	"	air	force	one	"	.	ford	was	always	at	his	best	playing	characters	with	something	of	an	anti	hero	bent	,	like	han	solo	or	"	blade	runner	"	's	deckard	,	and	to	an	extent	,	"	what	lies	beneath	"	is	reminiscent	of	that	.	"	what	lies	beneath	"	rides	a	consistent	upward	curve	,	as	the	supernatural	events	(	or	are	they	?	)	continue	and	claire	gets	closer	and	closer	to	uncovering	the	secret	behind	the	apparitions	.	things	fall	off	the	rails	a	bit	when	the	identity	of	the	villain	(	which	,	i'll	admit	,	came	as	a	surprise	to	me	)	is	finally	revealed	and	the	film	takes	a	plunge	into	"	scream	"	type	slasher	fare	.	rather	extreme	measures	are	taken	to	demonise	the	character	(	like	a	reference	to	the	villain's	attention	focussing	next	on	claire's	daughter	)	which	come	across	as	more	than	a	little	heavy	handed	.	but	things	end	well	with	a	spooky	,	beautifully	photographed	climax	which	is	carried	out	with	just	enough	conviction	to	make	it	work	.	although	it	by	no	means	achieves	the	heights	of	deep	rooted	,	psychological	terror	as	,	say	,	"	the	blair	witch	project	"	,	"	what	lies	beneath	"	is	very	successful	on	a	more	visceral	level	,	and	is	certainly	one	of	the	scarier	movies	of	recent	times	.	it's	not	the	sort	of	film	that	will	give	you	nightmares	the	frights	are	too	immediate	and	short	sighted	for	that	but	it	is	a	lot	of	fun	all	the	same	.
pos	the	dramatic	comedy	cousins	has	all	the	necessary	ingredients	:	a	witty	and	whimsical	script	,	inspired	performances	,	a	great	sense	of	humor	,	a	large	and	wonderful	cast	,	and	the	beautiful	scenery	of	vancouver	.	it's	a	movie	of	weddings	,	marriage	,	family	,	infidelity	,	and	oh	yes	love	.	like	3	men	and	a	baby	,	cousins	is	an	americanized	version	of	a	french	film	:	1975's	cousin	,	cousine	.	the	plot	is	complicated	,	but	it	goes	something	like	this	.	larry	and	tom	are	cousins	,	each	of	whom	is	not	so	happily	married	.	tom	starts	an	affair	with	larry's	wife	,	tish	,	and	to	get	even	,	larry	and	tom's	wife	,	maria	,	pretend	to	have	an	affair	of	their	own	.	soon	the	pretending	turns	to	love	and	cousins	is	off	and	running	.	cousins	is	populated	by	a	wide	assortment	of	interesting	characters	and	caricatures	.	the	acting	is	first	rate	down	to	even	the	smallest	supporting	role	,	and	virtually	every	performance	deserves	mention	.	ted	danson	(	in	his	first	starring	film	role	)	finally	gets	to	play	a	character	with	some	depth	and	sensitivity	.	while	larry	may	be	confident	and	charming	like	sam	malone	on	"	cheers	,	"	he	is	also	complex	and	vulnerable	,	with	more	between	his	ears	than	empty	space	.	as	maria	,	isabella	rossellini	is	a	joy	to	watch	;	she	is	shy	,	sensuous	,	and	immensely	alluring	.	sean	young	is	perfectly	cast	as	larry's	picture	perfect	wife	,	tish	,	a	superficial	and	trendy	make	up	consultant	.	keith	coogan	,	from	adventures	in	babysitting	,	is	wonderfully	weird	and	eccentric	as	larry's	rebellious	son	,	mitch	.	and	finally	,	lloyd	bridges	in	a	tour	de	force	performance	is	mitch's	rambunctious	grandfather	;	he	provides	some	of	cousins'	best	lines	and	laughs	.	like	moonstruck	,	cousins	is	a	mix	of	drama	and	comedy	.	the	film	is	larger	than	life	and	has	a	keen	sense	of	the	absurd	.	it	understands	human	nature	extremely	well	and	milks	it	for	every	possible	laugh	and	heart	tug	.	how	often	do	you	see	a	movie	where	you	believe	that	two	characters	truly	and	sincerely	care	for	and	love	each	other	,	as	friends	and	as	lovers	?	well	,	to	its	credit	,	cousins	is	just	such	a	movie	.	let's	hope	the	french	continue	to	provide	us	with	the	inspiration	to	make	films	like	cousins
pos	the	truman	show	1	2	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	)	(	by	now	,	most	of	you	know	how	much	my	site	sucks	.	come	visit	this	train	wreck	of	a	webpage	,	anyway	:	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	a	some	cool	new	features	,	plus	a	little	shop	of	horrors	(	1986	)	rare	dvd	auction	until	june	12th	.	)	starring	jim	carrey	,	ed	harris	,	laura	linney	,	natasha	mcelhone	screenplay	by	andrew	niccol	directed	by	peter	weir	weir	is	well	respected	in	hollywood	for	turning	scripts	with	difficult	subject	matter	into	deceptively	simple	,	powerful	films	,	the	mosquito	coast	(	utopia	)	and	fearless	(	post	traumatic	stress	disorder	)	among	them	.	in	the	truman	show	,	weir	essentially	breathes	life	into	the	now	tired	concept	of	media	manipulation	by	tackling	the	material	from	the	inside	out	.	it	certainly	helps	that	he	has	an	underrated	performer	in	top	form	playing	the	title	character	,	truman	burbank	.	by	now	you	must	be	aware	of	the	premise	:	unbeknownst	to	him	,	truman	(	carrey	)	is	the	star	of	his	own	tv	series	,	a	24	7	peep	show	in	which	he	is	surrounded	by	actors	and	placed	in	loosely	scripted	situations	;	people	around	the	world	tune	in	for	the	voyeuristic	thrill	of	his	genuine	reactions	to	fictitious	stimulants	.	seahaven'	,	his	hometown	,	and	the	show	itself	,	are	the	brainchild	of	christof	(	harris	)	,	who	presides	over	his	creation	in	the	base	of	a	fake	moon	,	directing	over	500	cameras	and	hundreds	of	actors	and	extras	.	for	30	years	,	truman	suspects	nothing	we	accept	the	reality	we're	given	,	'	poses	christof	but	a	desire	to	break	free	of	the	sunny	town	and	visit	a	long	lost	love	in	fiji'	(	mcelhone	,	who	was	actually	an	actress	fired	by	christof	for	trying	to	break	the	confidentiality	agreement	)	overwhelms	him	.	thus	,	christof	and	his	team	suddenly	find	themselves	working	twice	as	hard	to	keep	the	veneer	of	seahaven	intact	,	lest	truman	discover	the	world	outside	and	put	an	end	to	the	highly	rated	program	.	in	a	few	broad	strokes	,	weir	creates	a	convincing	second	reality	,	and	he	has	the	good	sense	not	to	bring	christof	into	the	picture	until	almost	three	quarters	through	.	this	allows	us	to	comprehend	and	accept	truman's	world	before	we	contextualize	it	.	for	all	his	madness	,	christof	has	shown	the	world	a	place	without	violence	and	hardship	,	and	demonstrated	that	a	human	being	can	function	well	within	it	.	truman	is	an	inspiration	to	his	audience	because	he	grew	up	to	be	,	well	,	so	darn	nice	;	like	a	sibling	(	or	,	perhaps	more	appropriately	,	a	caged	animal	in	an	interactive	zoo	)	,	they	want	to	see	him	succeed	.	the	surrealistic	soap	opera	is	completely	plausible	thanks	to	a	tight	screenplay	and	a	sympathetic	carrey	he	really	is	an	everyman	here	,	abandoning	his	facial	contortions	in	favour	of	a	credible	,	wide	eyed	bewilderment	.	cinematically	,	the	truman	show	is	impeccable	,	stylishly	photographed	by	peter	biziou	and	littered	with	symbolic	images	.	as	well	,	it	employs	wojciech	kilar's	piece	"	zycie	za	zycie'	masterfully	and	beautifully	.	if	the	film	has	any	flaws	,	one	may	find	them	in	laura	linney's	characterization	as	meryl	,	truman's	"	wife	"	(	i	doubt	that	betty	crocker	impersonation	would	fool	anyone	)	,	and	in	a	subplot	involving	truman's	father'	,	which	feels	curiously	incomplete	.	there	are	a	few	stupendous	sequences	,	and	the	film	pulls	off	a	wonderful	trick	:	we	become	truman's	audience	as	much	as	the	loyal	viewers	in	the	film	.	they	wear	buttons	asking	how	will	it	end	?	'	i	couldn't	wait	to	know	myself	,	though	i	didn't	exactly	want	it	to	end	,	for	this	inspired	movie	is	possibly	the	best	and	most	complex	summer	picture	in	years	.
pos	cookie's	fortune	(	1999	)	reviewed	by	eugene	novikov	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	ultimate	movie	.	com	cookiesfortune	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	ultimate	movie	.	com	cookiesfortune	.	html	a	member	:	online	film	critics	society	starring	glenn	close	,	julianne	moore	,	liv	tyler	,	chris	o'donnell	,	charles	s	.	dutton	.	rated	pg	13	.	robert	altman's	cookie's	fortune	is	that	rare	movie	that	does	not	depend	on	sentimentality	to	be	uplifting	and	to	make	its	viewers	feel	good	.	it	is	a	sunny	,	delightful	,	dreamy	comedy	,	filled	with	lovely	performances	,	skillful	direction	and	topped	off	with	an	understated	,	clever	,	extraordinary	script	.	as	this	is	an	ensemble	piece	,	it	is	forced	to	start	of	slowly	as	it	introduces	us	to	its	characters	,	all	of	them	residing	in	a	southern	town	called	holly	springs	.	first	we	meet	willie	(	charles	s	.	dutton	)	,	an	honest	man	with	a	slight	drinking	habit	.	we	then	see	that	willie	takes	care	of	an	elderly	lady	nicknamed	cookie	,	who	is	slowly	losing	her	grip	on	sanity	and	is	being	filled	with	loneliness	,	despair	,	and	want	of	her	dead	husband	.	we	cut	to	camille	(	glenn	close	)	who	is	obsessively	directing	a	play	with	her	sister	cora	(	julianne	moore	)	.	then	we	briefly	get	acquainted	with	emma	(	liv	tyler	)	,	an	apparent	relative	of	cookie	,	who	is	a	down	but	not	out	teen	outcast	,	still	full	of	love	and	hope	even	though	she	has	no	real	place	to	live	.	we	also	fleetingly	see	emma's	lover	jason	(	chris	o'donnell	)	,	an	ambitious	but	far	too	excitable	young	cop	.	we	are	now	about	one	quarter	through	the	two	hour	picture	,	and	robert	altman	decides	that	it	is	time	to	set	the	plot	in	motion	.	we	see	the	ecstatic	cookie	stare	hopefully	at	a	picture	of	her	husband	.	she	exclaims	"	here	i	come	!	"	and	then	puts	a	pillow	to	her	face	and	shoots	herself	.	soon	after	,	her	niece	camille	stops	by	to	get	a	fruit	salad	bowl	,	comes	upstairs	,	finds	cookie	dead	and	flips	out	.	convinced	that	suicide	is	a	disgrace	and	that	she	will	have	none	of	that	in	her	family	,	she	eats	the	suicide	note	and	convinces	her	slightly	slow	(	yet	sweet	)	sister	that	it	was	a	murder	.	she	makes	sure	that	she	stages	it	like	a	murder	as	well	;	scattering	jewelry	all	over	the	floor	,	breaking	a	few	cabinets	,	windows	and	doors	,	and	then	throwing	the	gun	out	in	the	back	yard	.	the	only	reasonable	suspect	is	willie	,	who	immediately	gets	taken	into	custody	,	and	put	in	a	jail	cell	(	they	all	know	he	didn't	do	it	,	so	the	cell	stays	open	and	he	plays	scrabble	with	the	sheriff	and	the	faithful	emma	)	.	meanwhile	,	the	unperturbed	camille	continues	her	none	too	subtle	manipulations	trying	to	further	cover	up	for	the	murder	while	at	the	same	time	making	her	easter	play	a	success	.	so	begins	cookie's	fortune	,	a	film	aptly	described	by	critic	scott	renshaw	as	"	a	southern	spin	on	fargo	,	"	except	that	this	one	is	far	funnier	and	much	more	enjoyable	than	the	coen	brothers'	darker	,	somewhat	disturbing	and	slightly	overrated	escapade	.	robert	altman's	slight	picture	is	in	some	ways	reminiscent	of	something	like	midnight	in	the	garden	of	good	and	evil	as	well	,	in	that	both	films	focus	(	on	and	off	)	on	the	eccentricities	of	the	residents	in	a	southern	us	town	.	indeed	,	most	of	the	characters	in	cookie's	fortune	are	loads	of	fun	to	observe	,	and	a	portion	of	them	are	fascinating	and	surprisingly	multi	dimensional	.	glenn	close	turns	in	an	insubstantial	(	in	terms	of	her	career	)	but	magnificent	performance	as	the	conniving	camille	and	is	also	the	source	of	a	good	portion	of	the	many	laughs	that	we	enjoy	in	this	movie	,	and	she	is	perfectly	cast	as	the	prolific	"	aunt	alexandria	"	character	,	endlessly	obsessed	with	family	dignity	.	the	equally	essential	role	of	willie	is	handled	with	an	intangible	grace	by	veteran	thespian	charles	s	.	dutton	(	mimic	,	a	time	to	kill	)	there	is	nothing	like	a	movie	which	leaves	you	feeling	all	warm	and	fuzzy	inside	hours	,	even	days	after	the	film	ends	.	cookie's	fortune	is	such	a	movie	.	i	loved	the	light	,	kindhearted	approach	altman	(	whose	last	project	was	the	dark	,	intense	drama	the	gingerbread	man	)	took	towards	the	tricky	subject	matter	.	i	enjoyed	the	talented	ensemble	cast	.	i	even	liked	the	trite	"	in	the	south	everybody	is	related	to	everybody	"	cliche	that	is	inevitably	employed	by	the	time	this	movie	draws	to	a	close	.	i'm	not	sure	why	cookie's	fortune	had	such	an	all	around	pleasing	effect	on	me	.	perhaps	it's	that	good	ol'	southern	charm	.
pos	originally	launched	in	1978	,	this	popular	film	was	re	introduced	in	1998	to	a	whole	new	generation	of	moviegoers	.	based	on	the	mighty	successful	musical	from	broadway	,	grease	was	followed	in	1980	with	the	less	stellar	grease	2	(	6	.	5	10	)	,	starring	a	young	michelle	pheiffer	in	one	of	her	first	feature	film	roles	.	plot	:	high	school	musical	set	in	the	1950's	showcasing	the	relationship	between	the	cool	danny	zuko	of	the	t	birds	(	travolta	)	and	the	innocent	and	pure	sandy	olsen	(	newton	john	)	from	australia	.	the	film	follows	the	couple	and	their	vivacious	friends	during	their	last	year	at	rydell	high	through	song	,	dance	and	humour	.	critique	:	fun	loving	,	energetic	and	innocent	look	back	at	times	much	simpler	.	this	movie	effectively	juggles	a	thin	romantic	story	line	and	the	overall	experience	of	the	1950's	,	with	a	superb	soundtrack	and	some	great	dance	numbers	.	admittedly	,	i	am	somewhat	biased	in	this	opinion	,	since	this	film	blasts	me	into	my	past	as	a	rebellious	youth	(	grease	was	one	of	schmoe's	first	big	screen	experiences	,	and	every	other	scene	sends	me	reeling	into	the	times	of	my	elaborate	grease	bubble	gum	card	collection	)	,	and	the	lesser	responsibilities	that	i	possessed	at	that	time	.	but	apart	from	the	nostalgic	vibe	,	i	was	still	extremely	impressed	by	this	film	,	as	it	continued	to	amuse	me	,	despite	my	previous	dozen	or	so	viewings	.	this	film	took	john	travolta	from	a	dim	witted	"	sweathog	"	on	tv's	welcome	back	kotter	,	and	transformed	him	into	a	movie	star	of	spectacular	proportions	(	saturday	night	fever	(	7	.	5	10	)	in	1979	confirmed	that	sudden	popularity	)	.	unfortunately	for	the	rest	of	the	cast	,	his	popularity	was	not	terribly	contagious	,	despite	their	effective	showings	in	this	classic	movie	.	on	the	down	side	,	some	of	the	absolute	innocence	in	this	film	might	bore	or	turn	people	off	(	like	when	sandy	sings	about	"	drinking	lemonade	"	and	"	staying	out	until	10	"	with	danny	in	"	summer	nights	"	)	,	and	the	plot	isn't	exactly	the	most	elaborate	story	line	ever	created	,	but	despite	these	small	reservations	,	this	movie	carries	enough	great	music	and	high	energy	to	keep	anyone	amused	through	its	rapid	110	minute	running	time	(	and	believe	me	.	.	.	i	am	not	a	fan	of	the	musicals	!	!	)	.	make	sure	to	look	for	a	young	lorenzo	lamas	in	the	static	role	of	the	brainless	football	player	,	as	well	as	the	national	bandstand	dance	contest	as	one	of	the	film's	absolute	highlights	.	and	don't	forget	to	buy	the	popular	soundtrack	afterwards	,	so	that	you	could	listen	to	its	peppy	tunes	whenever	you're	feeling	a	little	blue	.	little	known	facts	:	henry	winkler	,	of	tv's	happy	days'	fonzie	fame	,	turned	down	the	part	of	danny	zuko	because	he	did	not	want	to	be	typecast	for	the	rest	of	his	career	.	both	travolta	and	conaway	were	smitten	by	newton	john	during	the	filming	of	this	picture	.	conaway	eventually	bowed	out	of	the	woo	fest	,	and	married	newton	john's	sister	a	year	later	(	divorced	after	five	years	)	.	hr	visit	joblo's	movie	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	a
pos	see	more	reviews	at	moviehunt	a	href	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	a	are	we	victims	of	fate	in	life	or	can	we	create	our	own	destiny	?	director	writer	brad	anderson	seems	to	be	saying	yes	to	both	questions	in	his	witty	film	"	next	stop	wonderland	"	.	the	two	main	characters	,	alan	and	erin	,	spend	the	entire	movie	in	each	other's	orbit	,	catching	glimpses	of	one	another	,	yet	not	quite	connecting	until	the	inevitable	conclusion	.	is	it	fate	that	keeps	them	near	each	other	and	ultimately	puts	them	together	?	does	this	predestination	carry	over	to	all	aspects	of	life	?	as	the	film	starts	,	erin	castleton	(	hope	davis	)	,	a	melancholy	29	year	old	late	shift	nurse	,	is	ending	her	live	in	relationship	with	her	boyfriend	(	hoffman	)	.	rather	,	he	is	ending	it	with	her	.	arriving	home	from	work	,	erin	finds	her	boyfriend	parked	in	front	of	their	apartment	,	car	packed	with	his	belongings	.	in	a	fumbling	,	amusing	and	self	deluding	ramble	,	he	instructs	erin	to	watch	a	videotape	he's	made	detailing	why	their	relationship	is	doomed	to	fail	and	why	he's	leaving	.	it's	obvious	he	lacks	the	courage	to	confront	her	directly	as	he	rails	on	about	accomplishing	something	with	his	life	and	taking	a	stand	,	all	the	while	backpedaling	his	way	out	of	their	relationship	.	he	then	flees	the	scene	with	the	grace	of	an	inept	thief	.	erin's	mother	(	holland	taylor	,	in	a	surprisingly	effective	,	small	role	)	,	fearing	that	her	daughter	will	be	without	a	man	in	her	life	,	takes	out	a	personal	ad	for	erin	.	to	erin's	embarrassed	horror	,	the	ad	describes	her	as	a	"	frisky	,	cultured	,	carefree	professional	with	a	zest	for	life	"	.	eventually	,	erin	responds	to	the	tidal	wave	of	responses	,	which	makes	for	some	of	the	most	humorous	,	telling	moments	of	the	movie	as	she	meets	prospective	suitors	and	"	poseurs	"	.	alan	,	a	plumber	and	aspiring	marine	biologist	,	first	spots	erin	as	he's	cleaning	the	inside	glass	of	a	fish	tank	at	the	boston	aquarium	.	wearing	a	wet	suit	and	goggles	,	he	follows	erin	from	window	to	window	,	separated	by	the	glass	as	erin	,	oblivious	to	his	gaze	,	enjoys	the	fish	.	later	,	we	see	him	on	a	train	as	she	sits	on	a	platform	outside	,	mere	feet	away	.	the	movie	spends	it's	entirety	having	their	paths	circle	each	other	without	crossing	.	there	are	several	subplots	involving	alan	.	one	concerns	his	attempts	to	get	on	the	job	track	at	the	boston	aquarium	,	thereby	escaping	his	apparent	fate	to	carry	on	the	family	plumbing	business	.	another	subplot	involves	his	father's	desperate	attempts	to	force	fate's	hand	by	gambling	away	his	life	at	the	dog	track	.	a	distracting	focus	is	put	on	alan's	debt	to	a	loan	shark	and	the	manner	in	which	he	pays	it	off	.	the	movie	tries	too	hard	to	make	alan	a	likable	guy	.	thankfully	,	his	dream	guy	persona	is	counterbalanced	by	erin's	distant	,	yet	fundamentally	hopeful	,	personality	.	the	film	moves	along	at	an	unhurried	pace	,	albeit	too	much	so	in	the	latter	third	,	as	we	wait	for	the	two	to	meet	.	co	writers	anderson	and	lyn	vaus	throw	a	couple	of	possible	red	herrings	into	the	mix	as	the	two	find	other	possible	relationships	.	the	films	shifts	into	a	much	slower	gear	as	we	wait	for	these	romances	to	blow	over	.	when	alan	and	erin	eventually	do	meet	,	we	see	that	perhaps	they	both	were	destined	for	each	other	as	they	share	a	lingering	,	almost	subliminally	knowing	,	gaze	.	it's	a	sweet	,	measured	moment	.	the	disappointment	comes	in	the	fact	that	we've	come	to	know	the	pair	,	yet	we	don't	get	to	view	their	impending	romance	.	the	film's	inherent	belief	in	the	subtle	persistence	of	fate	and	the	wonder	it	can	bring	to	one's	life	makes	"	next	stop	wonderland	"	a	quiet	pleasure	in	a	cinematic	landscape	littered	with	explosions	,	shallow	characters	and	overdone	special	effects	.
pos	one	never	quite	knows	what	one	is	going	to	get	with	a	mamet	film	.	his	american	buffalo	is	a	set	bound	piece	that	has	very	little	plot	.	sometimes	he	will	tell	a	story	that	really	moves	.	heist	is	mamet	doing	his	most	entertaining	work	.	unlike	his	the	spanish	prisoner	,	there	are	no	lapses	in	credibility	.	heist	is	probably	the	best	mamet	thriller	since	house	of	games	.	it	is	the	kind	of	plot	with	which	you	are	never	sure	who	will	double	cross	whom	,	and	frequently	it	is	mamet	double	crossing	the	viewer	.	watching	the	film's	team	getting	around	security	the	viewer	is	frequently	asking	himself	either	"	what	the	heck	are	they	doing	?	"	or	"	why	didn't	anybody	think	of	that	before	?	"	appropriately	enough	heist	opens	with	a	very	clever	jewelry	store	job	.	it	is	so	clever	that	one	wonders	if	mamet	really	thinks	up	all	these	ideas	himself	or	if	he	has	help	from	professional	magician	and	con	expert	ricky	jay	,	now	a	regular	actor	in	mamet	films	.	this	is	a	robbery	that	works	like	a	well	oiled	machine	.	there	is	just	one	problem	and	it	is	enough	to	get	joe	moore	(	played	by	gene	hackman	)	filmed	on	a	security	camera	.	now	joe	has	to	get	out	of	the	business	.	it	was	coming	time	anyway	.	joe's	team	including	bobby	blane	(	delroy	lindo	)	,	fran	moor	(	rebecca	pidgeon	)	,	and	pinky	pincus	(	ricky	jay	)	is	going	to	split	up	and	go	separate	ways	.	but	crime	boss	bergman	(	danny	devito	)	is	pulling	the	strings	and	he	says	that	joe	and	his	people	have	to	manage	one	more	robbery	.	and	he	has	to	take	along	a	young	kid	,	the	short	fused	jimmy	silk	(	sam	rockwell	)	.	immediately	it	is	obvious	that	there	is	more	going	on	than	meets	the	eye	.	much	of	what	distinguishes	heist	is	mamet's	dialog	.	remarkably	it	serves	a	double	purpose	.	the	robbery	team	sounds	at	once	very	professional	and	at	the	same	time	it	has	mamet's	special	feel	for	dialog	.	hackman	has	lines	like	"	everybody	needs	money	.	that's	why	they	call	it	money	.	"	mamet's	timing	is	perfect	in	the	direction	but	terrible	in	the	production	.	the	plot	is	coincidentally	a	lot	like	the	plot	of	the	recent	the	score	,	which	is	,	in	fact	,	a	very	similar	story	.	both	are	good	films	,	perhaps	for	some	of	the	same	reasons	.	but	at	least	on	a	high	level	they	are	much	the	same	story	.	the	other	problem	with	the	timing	of	heist	is	that	it	involves	airport	security	and	clever	ways	to	get	around	them	.	i	saw	the	film	at	the	toronto	international	film	festival	on	september	12	,	2001	.	that	made	the	subject	matter	just	a	little	too	timely	.	my	understanding	is	that	the	release	will	be	delayed	.	my	biggest	problem	with	the	film	is	that	rebecca	pidgeon's	acting	at	times	seems	very	poor	.	it	is	some	kind	of	mamet	trademark	i	do	not	understand	to	have	women	talk	without	inflection	,	as	if	they	are	just	reading	the	words	for	the	first	time	.	it	is	an	irritation	and	distracts	us	from	what	is	otherwise	a	very	good	thriller	.	it	is	one	i	rate	an	8	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	high	2	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	for	our	jet	li	interview	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	interviewli	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	interviewli	.	htm	a	for	our	bridget	fonda	interview	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	interviewfonda	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	interviewfonda	.	htm	a	plot	:	jet	li	is	a	chinese	cop	asked	to	help	some	french	policemen	nab	a	bad	guy	.	but	one	thing	leads	to	another	,	and	the	next	thing	you	know	,	li's	being	chased	by	the	same	french	cops	with	whom	he	was	supposed	to	be	working	.	a	lot	of	ass	kicking	,	face	whippings	,	gun	fights	and	.	.	.	okay	,	a	little	more	ass	kicking	ensues	.	critique	:	very	cool	!	now	here's	a	movie	that	gives	you	exactly	what	you're	looking	for	,	if	what	you're	looking	for	is	kickass	action	,	a	palpable	good	cop	bad	cop	story	line	,	some	hardcore	stunts	and	jet	li	slam	dunking	everyone	in	sight	!	the	film	also	moves	fast	(	a	mere	95	minutes	)	,	develops	a	certain	"	cute	"	chemistry	between	fonda	and	li	,	has	nice	surroundings	(	paris	,	baby	!	)	and	gives	us	one	of	the	best	bad	guys	that	i've	seen	all	year	.	tcheky	karyo	is	the	devil	incarnate	in	this	film	.	he	is	pure	evil	.	they	should	have	called	this	movie	bad	lieutenant	2	as	keitel	has	nothing	on	this	man	.	what	a	great	,	great	monster	!	my	favorite	line	of	tcheky's	was	when	li	was	explaining	the	whole	"	kiss	of	the	dragon	"	thing	to	him	and	he	cut	him	off	by	saying	"	kiss	my	ass	!	"	pure	action	movie	poetry	.	anyway	,	other	than	him	,	jet	li	also	handled	his	"	acting	"	pretty	well	in	this	film	,	with	very	little	real	dialogue	to	say	,	but	enough	to	make	us	believe	his	character	.	actually	,	just	looking	into	the	man's	eyes	generally	tells	you	a	lot	.	fonda	was	also	pretty	good	,	despite	playing	one	of	the	most	trashy	and	abused	women	that	i	have	seen	in	quite	some	time	,	but	i	still	felt	kinda	bad	for	her	,	so	i	guess	she	did	her	job	okay	.	but	in	the	end	,	nobody	goes	to	see	this	kind	of	movie	for	oscar	performances	.	we	go	to	see	jet	li	movies	because	we	want	to	see	jet	li	kicking	a	lot	of	ass	from	side	to	side	,	and	this	film	delivers	gangbusters	on	that	front	.	and	yes	.	.	.	they	have	no	wire	fu	in	this	movie	.	.	.	i	say	again	.	.	.	no	wire	work	,	no	bullshit	stunts	with	li	floating	around	in	mid	air	for	over	a	minute	.	it's	all	straight	action	,	fist	to	fist	,	boot	to	face	and	all	around	cool	stunts	.	if	that's	what	you're	looking	for	,	i	don't	see	how	you	will	be	disappointed	with	this	film	.	yes	,	it's	not	very	original	in	plot	(	just	take	luc	besson's	own	la	femme	nikita	and	mix	in	plenty	of	his	own	the	professional	et	voila	!	)	,	does	have	an	annoying	hip	hoppy	soundtrack	that	just	got	on	my	nerves	after	a	while	(	i	also	would	have	gotten	rid	of	the	whole	acupuncture	thang	.	.	.	)	and	will	have	anyone	not	willing	to	restrain	their	disbelief	,	rolling	their	eyes	all	over	the	place	.	but	was	i	entertained	?	thoroughly	.	does	the	film	feature	more	gunplay	,	martial	arts	and	over	the	top	kills	that	most	recent	action	flicks	?	yes	,	again	.	does	this	sound	interesting	to	you	?	well	,	the	answer	to	that	question	is	entirely	up	to	you	.	one	thing	that	i	would	definitely	recommend	is	,	as	jet	li	pointed	out	himself	on	his	website	,	that	you	leave	the	kids	at	home	for	this	one	.	in	fact	,	you	might	even	wanna	leave	yourself	if	you	can't	handle	the	more	violent	of	sequences	.	all	in	all	,	a	rippin'	,	roarin'	fun	time	!	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	black	mask	(	5	10	)	blade	(	7	10	)	la	femme	nikita	(	8	10	)	lethal	weapon	4	(	7	10	)	the	matrix	(	8	10	)	the	professional	(	9	10	)	romeo	must	die	(	3	10	)	rush	hour	(	7	10	)	shanghai	noon	(	6	10	)
pos	the	problem	with	a	movie	like	heartbreakers	is	that	as	hard	as	you	try	to	concentrate	on	the	notable	qualities	of	the	film	the	clever	camerawork	,	the	strong	ensemble	acting	,	the	deft	script	every	time	jennifer	love	hewitt	walks	into	a	scene	,	her	breasts	take	over	.	even	my	date	noticed	the	blatant	attempts	by	the	filmmakers	in	drawing	all	attention	to	the	chests	of	both	sigourney	weaver	and	hewitt	.	alas	,	all	those	breasts	are	never	fully	revealed	like	some	bad	80's	teen	horror	film	censored	by	jerry	falwell	.	despite	the	massive	amounts	of	boob	time	in	heartbreakers	,	the	film	delivers	all	the	goods	of	a	solid	comedic	vehicle	.	max	(	weaver	)	and	page	(	hewitt	)	are	a	mother	daughter	team	who	swindle	rich	guys	out	of	their	dollars	in	a	con	involving	matrimony	vows	,	extramarital	trysts	,	and	divorce	settlements	.	sort	of	like	a	cross	between	anywhere	but	here	and	the	grifters	.	with	the	irs	hot	on	their	proverbial	tails	,	the	duo	team	up	for	one	last	job	,	bilking	cigarette	tycoon	william	b	.	tensy	(	gene	hackman	)	out	of	his	cash	.	alas	,	during	the	con	job	,	page	ends	up	falling	in	love	with	a	local	bar	owner	(	jason	lee	)	,	a	dead	body	ends	up	in	their	trunk	,	princess	leia	shows	up	as	a	divorce	attorney	,	and	a	jilted	ex	husband	(	ray	liotta	)	shows	up	waving	a	gun	and	advising	group	therapy	for	everyone	.	the	glue	that	holds	this	familiar	story	together	lies	in	the	actors	involved	in	the	production	.	hackman	delivers	a	memorable	performance	as	the	wheezing	,	hacking	,	brown	toothed	william	b	.	tensy	.	jason	lee	,	one	of	the	best	young	actors	working	in	hollywood	these	days	,	brings	a	warm	,	subtle	touch	to	his	role	of	the	lovelorn	bar	owner	head	over	heels	in	love	with	page	.	weaver	delivers	another	knockout	comedic	punch	as	the	protective	mother	max	.	and	hewitt	actually	pulls	together	a	credible	acting	job	despite	the	screen	time	she	has	to	share	with	her	breasts	.	the	best	work	in	the	film	is	given	by	ray	liotta	,	the	most	intense	man	ever	to	grace	the	screen	.	he	has	the	uncanny	ability	to	take	one	or	two	dimensional	roles	,	in	such	films	as	cop	land	,	hannibal	,	and	no	escape	,	and	turn	in	an	outstanding	,	memorable	job	.	the	only	problem	is	that	i'm	still	trying	to	forget	about	his	roles	in	turbulence	and	muppets	from	space	.	despite	the	positives	,	heartbreakers	does	have	its	minor	flaws	.	the	"	protective	mother	"	scenario	drags	on	for	too	long	,	and	the	complete	and	total	ignorance	of	every	male	in	the	film	over	max	and	page's	con	jobs	is	a	bit	too	hard	to	swallow	.	and	not	that	i'm	complaining	,	but	who	wears	skintight	dresses	every	day	of	the	year	?	in	a	nutshell	,	though	,	this	is	a	love	story	.	beneath	all	the	lying	,	the	cheating	,	the	backstabbing	,	the	hacking	coughs	,	and	the	cleavage	we	find	a	familiar	tale	of	true	love	.	how	sweet	it	is	.
pos	pleasantville	1	2	(	3	and	a	half	stars	)	it	was	once	said	that	ignorance	is	bliss	.	but	how	can	you	know	bliss	while	ignorant	?	if	you	know	not	sorrow	,	you	know	not	happiness	,	and	vice	versa	.	such	is	the	story	of	pleasantville	,	a	movie	that's	,	quite	frankly	,	inspired	.	the	story	of	a	1950's	town	who's	long	lasting	ignorance	is	challenged	by	modern	day	pop	culture	.	the	result	of	society's	ultimate	reaction	to	change	.	in	today's	world	,	we	treat	life	loosely	,	with	little	value	.	many	consider	material	things	to	be	more	valuable	than	long	term	happiness	,	and	simply	obtain	them	to	fill	such	holes	of	loss	and	greed	.	others	search	for	a	happier	time	and	place	,	and	secretly	hope	for	a	return	to	our	past	.	a	time	many	call	safer	,	better	,	more	compassionate	.	two	such	examples	are	modern	day	teens	david	(	tobey	maguire	)	and	jen	(	reese	witherspoon	)	.	while	david	regularly	drowns	out	his	chaotic	reality	by	immersing	himself	in	reruns	of	the	1950's	sit	com	,	pleasantville	,	sister	jen	lusts	after	cute	boys	as	an	admitted	slut	,	climbing	the	social	ladder	through	sex	appeal	.	but	,	as	jen	prepares	for	a	date	with	mtv	,	and	david	for	his	much	anticipated	pleasantville	marathon	,	a	doorbell	is	rung	.	a	strange	,	unrequested	tv	repairman	(	don	knotts	)	gives	them	a	remote	to	replace	their	recently	shattered	one	,	after	quickly	quizzing	david	as	to	his	knowledge	of	pleasantville	.	after	his	departure	,	the	two	teens	quarrel	in	an	effort	to	win	the	remote	.	during	the	fight	,	a	button	is	pushed	,	and	the	two	are	transported	into	the	very	fictional	,	very	colorless	world	of	pleasantville	.	david	,	realizing	that	if	they	wish	to	get	out	soon	they	can't	tinker	with	the	mindset	of	pleasant	folk	,	urges	jen	to	do	the	same	,	and	play	along	.	while	she	starts	out	well	,	she	quickly	loses	her	balance	,	creating	a	domino	effect	of	immense	proportions	,	after	introducing	the	element	of	sex	to	the	quirky	little	town	.	soon	,	the	black	and	white	universe	begins	to	sprout	color	.	among	the	newly	enlightened	,	the	perfect	pleasantville	mother	,	betty	(	joan	allen	)	.	but	,	it's	not	just	about	sex	.	color	can	appear	as	a	result	of	love	,	compassion	,	anger	,	or	hate	.	it	is	about	individuality	,	the	free	agency	to	choose	between	what	is	right	and	what	is	wrong	,	rather	than	stay	confined	to	a	"	normal	"	and	supposedly	perfect	world	.	we	cannot	become	perfect	by	force	,	but	must	be	allowed	to	make	mistakes	,	and	strive	to	ascertain	it	through	correction	and	discipline	.	one	of	the	film's	few	missteps	hits	when	it	fails	to	actively	portray	some	of	the	unfavorable	consequences	that	can	result	from	such	promiscuous	behavior	,	as	our	society	learned	quickly	after	the	sexual	revolution	of	the	1960's	.	though	it	maintains	the	absurdity	of	racism	,	another	immorality	.	and	while	,	throughout	the	film	,	director	gary	ross	may	trip	a	bit	with	his	"	hang	on	a	sec	while	i	beat	you	over	the	head	with	my	message	so	hard	you	won't	soon	forget	it	"	strategy	,	such	as	the	inclusion	of	signs	stating	"	no	coloreds	"	,	it	does	work	,	something	that	is	a	credit	to	his	history	as	a	screenwriter	.	he's	also	assembled	a	very	capable	cast	,	including	supporting	actors	jeff	daniels	(	dumb	dumber	)	,	william	h	.	macy	(	fargo	)	,	and	the	late	j	.	t	.	walsh	(	breakdown	,	jfk	)	,	as	well	as	the	two	leads	and	allen	(	face	off	)	.	the	cornerstone	of	the	movie	,	the	gradual	inclusion	of	color	as	the	town	progresses	,	also	has	a	wide	range	of	integrity	,	and	is	constructed	with	great	subtlety	and	detail	.	it	alone	is	a	good	reason	to	see	the	film	.	the	bottom	line	is	that	pleasantville	is	a	fantastic	vision	of	our	society	as	its	progressed	,	and	while	many	may	still	hope	and	remember	the	"	good	old	days	"	,	we	always	must	focus	ahead	on	what	will	be	,	not	what	could've	been	.
pos	director	:	jean	pierre	jeunet	writer	:	joss	whedon	starring	:	sigourney	weaver	,	winona	ryder	,	ron	perlman	,	dominique	pinon	,	michael	wincott	,	dan	hedaya	,	j	.	e	.	freeman	,	brad	dourif	,	raymond	cruz	,	kim	flowers	,	gary	dourdan	,	leland	orser	i'm	an	avid	fan	of	the	"	alien	"	saga	,	so	this	review	is	obviously	a	tad	biased	(	at	least	i	admitted	it	)	.	of	course	,	that	doesn't	mean	that	i'm	gonna	be	giving	this	a	four	star	review	or	something	,	because	"	alien	:	resurrection	,	"	the	fourth	film	in	the	cool	as	hell	series	is	not	an	absolutely	amazing	film	,	much	like	the	first	two	were	.	however	,	it's	a	very	good	film	which	never	fails	to	entertain	,	and	consists	of	yet	another	mutation	in	the	style	of	the	series	.	in	short	,	i	had	a	good	time	.	"	alien	:	resurrection	"	leaves	off	200	years	after	the	last	one	,	where	our	heroine	protagonist	,	ellen	ripley	(	sigourney	weaver	)	,	the	science	fiction	genre's	answer	to	job	,	had	killed	herself	after	discovering	that	an	alien	was	inside	her	body	,	waiting	to	pop	out	like	it	did	to	john	hurt	in	the	first	one	.	of	course	,	the	last	one	wasn't	very	great	or	anything	(	i	liked	it	,	though	not	as	much	as	the	first	two	)	,	and	more	importantly	,	it	wasn't	financially	successful	(	a	tawdry	55	million	bucks	!	)	.	so	back	we	are	,	with	ripley	back	as	a	clone	,	which	means	we	get	another	little	satirical	look	at	cloning	(	not	that	that's	a	bad	thing	,	but	it's	becoming	a	cliche	)	.	so	she's	cloned	aboard	an	even	more	futuristic	looking	ship	called	"	the	auriga	"	by	some	doctors	(	including	the	necessary	bad	government	guy	,	dr	.	wren	,	played	by	j	.	e	.	freeman	,	as	well	as	the	little	seen	dr	.	gediman	,	played	by	none	other	than	brad	douriff	)	,	mainly	because	they	have	a	version	of	her	with	the	alien	still	inside	her	.	once	you	get	past	the	fact	that	you	can't	figure	out	where	they	got	her	blood	(	although	i	think	it	might	have	been	from	the	blood	samples	taken	by	charles	dance	in	the	third	one	)	,	the	film's	okay	.	also	on	board	are	a	band	of	mercenary	pirates	,	including	michael	wincott	,	ron	perlman	,	kim	flowers	,	raymond	cruz	,	dominique	pinon	(	a	jeunet	sytable	)	and	.	.	.	winona	ryder	,	who	plays	analee	call	,	who	turns	out	to	have	a	bit	of	a	secret	(	i	won't	state	it	,	but	unless	you've	been	shacking	up	with	salinger	for	the	past	two	years	,	you	probably	know	all	about	it	although	it's	nicely	covered	up	)	.	there's	a	bit	of	a	non	sexual	yet	slightly	homoerotic	relationship	between	her	and	ripley	,	but	it's	never	really	deepened	enough	.	oh	well	.	well	,	as	you	might	have	guessed	,	the	alien	and	its	spawn	escape	and	run	around	the	ship	.	and	it	pretty	much	does	away	with	most	of	the	people	on	the	ship	(	including	some	shocks	dan	hedaya	,	for	instance	,	who's	death	is	comical	yet	sad	since	,	well	,	he's	dan	hedaya	)	,	and	the	remaining	people	(	about	7	or	8	)	are	left	to	try	and	escape	and	stop	the	aliens	from	doing	any	major	harm	since	the	ship	is	heading	quickly	towards	earth	.	of	course	,	the	plot	is	all	balderdash	,	and	just	an	excuse	for	some	good	old	"	alien	"	brand	fun	.	the	real	focus	of	the	series	seems	to	be	on	style	,	not	really	substance	(	although	there's	always	a	bit	of	it	,	most	notably	in	"	aliens	"	with	the	relationship	between	ripley	and	the	little	girl	)	.	what's	interesting	about	the	series	is	that	each	film	is	stylistically	different	in	its	approach	.	"	alien	"	is	a	claustrophobic	exercise	in	quiet	frights	.	"	aliens	"	is	a	wild	,	tense	thriller	.	"	alien	3	"	is	a	bleak	,	moody	piece	of	semi	noir	.	"	alien	4	"	is	kind	of	like	an	off	beat	french	film	,	filled	with	lots	of	humor	,	and	cool	scares	.	jean	pierre	jeunet	(	without	his	usual	directing	partner	,	marc	caro	)	creates	a	ship	filled	with	the	kind	of	scares	films	like	"	das	boot	"	has	,	with	echoes	hinting	at	a	possible	threat	.	the	chills	in	the	film	are	really	cool	,	especially	with	the	music	,	which	is	sometimes	turned	down	completely	for	certain	scenes	(	there's	the	most	tense	surgery	scene	since	"	face	off	"	towards	the	beginning	)	.	and	not	every	chill	turns	into	a	bloody	mess	or	anything	like	that	.	this	all	combined	with	some	good	old	humor	makes	this	as	interesting	visually	and	stylistically	as	the	others	.	there	are	even	a	couple	scenes	which	just	stick	out	afterwards	as	being	brilliantly	executed	.	one	is	the	aforementioned	surgery	scene	.	another	one	takes	place	between	call	and	ripley	,	which	is	just	awesome	.	the	underwater	chase	scene	and	the	ladder	scene	afterwards	is	one	of	the	most	tense	,	thrilling	,	and	jaw	dropping	scenes	in	the	entire	saga	(	with	a	small	allusion	to	jeunet's	earlier	film	,	"	delicatessen	"	)	.	and	the	way	they	do	in	the	final	alien	is	hysterically	cool	(	with	a	lovely	allusion	to	"	goldfinger	"	)	.	but	the	best	scene	in	the	entire	film	(	i'm	sure	i'm	not	the	first	to	mention	it	)	takes	place	when	ripley	sees	all	the	variations	on	her	as	they	cloned	her	(	she	has	a	an	"	8	"	tatooed	on	her	arm	)	.	it	might	be	the	most	emotionally	stimulating	scene	in	the	entire	saga	.	the	screenplay	by	joss	whedon	is	not	a	great	piece	of	work	,	as	it	never	really	deapens	a	lot	of	the	characters	.	however	,	it	does	make	us	care	about	most	of	them	,	so	that	when	there's	very	little	of	them	,	and	it	looks	like	one	or	more	of	them	may	become	alien	chow	,	we	are	pretty	scared	.	and	,	yeah	,	there	are	some	very	funny	lines	(	ripley	:	"	who	do	i	have	to	fuck	to	get	off	this	boat	?	!	"	johner	:	"	well	,	i	can	get	you	off	.	but	not	this	ship	.	"	)	the	acting	is	good	all	around	,	with	stand	out	performances	from	ron	perlman	as	the	male	chauvenist	pig	johner	,	and	leland	orser	(	the	poor	bastad	in	"	se7en	"	who	performed	the	"	lust	"	sin	)	as	an	anxiety	ridden	wannabe	woody	allen	who	has	an	alien	inside	him	.	winona	ryder	is	good	,	but	not	amazing	like	she	usually	is	(	although	she	meshes	well	with	the	film	)	.	of	course	,	and	as	usual	,	sigourney	weaver	steals	the	show	.	playing	a	variation	on	the	ripley	character	(	less	emotional	,	and	more	rude	and	bitter	)	,	she	pulls	it	off	while	still	being	utterly	lovable	.	she's	not	going	to	get	an	oscar	nomination	like	she	did	for	"	aliens	,	"	but	she's	just	awesome	.	overall	,	it's	a	thrilling	,	entertaining	film	which	doesn't	really	amaze	like	the	first	two	,	but	is	much	more	amazing	than	the	third	installment	.	the	style	is	the	best	part	of	the	film	,	which	isn't	really	a	bad	thing	,	but	it	being	the	best	part	takes	away	from	a	lot	of	the	depth	the	film	occasionally	tries	to	apply	.	but	it's	entertaining	as	hell	,	and	it's	definitely	fit	for	the	"	alien	"	series	.
pos	starring	:	geena	davis	,	hugh	laurie	,	jonathan	lipnicki	,	michal	j	.	fox	(	voice	)	,	jennifer	tilly	(	voice	)	,	nathan	lane	(	voice	)	,	dabney	coleman	,	estelle	getty	.	"	stuart	little	"	is	one	of	the	best	family	films	to	come	out	this	year	.	it's	a	cute	,	funny	and	very	good	natured	film	that	has	nothing	for	parents	to	squirm	over	except	a	few	mild	cusswords	.	though	i	read	the	book	a	long	time	ago	and	i	really	do	not	remember	what	it	was	about	,	i	do	know	that	this	film	does	not	disappoint	.	finally	a	movie	gets	released	that	is	as	good	as	the	trailer	makes	it	to	be	,	with	a	few	surprising	twists	,	some	very	funny	moments	,	and	a	few	sentimental	moments	all	mixed	in	to	one	great	little	movie	.	stuart	little	is	a	mouse	.	he	has	finally	gotten	a	new	home	after	being	put	up	for	adoption	,	he	now	lives	with	the	littles	.	a	nice	little	(	no	pun	intended	)	family	that	lives	in	their	apartment	next	to	central	park	in	new	york	city	.	they	have	a	little	boy	george	(	played	by	the	adorable	jonathan	lipnicki	)	and	now	they	have	a	new	son	.	at	first	stuart	takes	a	while	but	he	finally	adjusts	to	being	part	of	the	family	and	even	getting	along	with	the	pet	cat	.	george	doesn't	take	too	well	to	having	a	mouse	for	a	brother	at	first	,	but	once	the	two	play	together	they	instantly	bond	.	stuart	however	is	missing	something	,	and	he	wants	to	know	who	his	real	parents	are	.	the	littles	try	and	find	his	parents	and	one	day	they	show	up	on	the	doorstep	wanting	stuart	back	.	hesitating	the	littles	know	what's	best	for	stuart	and	so	does	snowball	the	pet	cat	,	he	and	his	friends	try	to	get	stuart	but	in	the	end	we	find	out	the	truth	about	stuart's	past	ending	up	to	a	sentimental	and	very	heart	warming	ending	.	one	thing	i	noticed	about	the	film	instantly	was	the	fantastic	special	effects	.	just	like	in	"	star	wars	:	episode	1	the	phantom	menace	"	stuart	little	and	his	family	are	all	computer	generated	and	they	look	fantastically	real	.	from	the	detail	of	their	fur	,	to	the	detail	of	the	way	the	walk	;	the	special	effects	team	put	a	lot	of	time	and	effort	on	this	90	million	dollar	film	and	it	shows	.	another	movie	that	this	has	in	common	with	is	"	babe	"	with	it's	talking	animals	and	people	understanding	them	.	it	has	a	family	friendly	atmosphere	and	is	never	really	scary	or	suspenseful	enough	to	even	scare	the	youngest	of	kids	.	michael	j	.	fox	does	the	voice	of	stuart	himself	and	just	like	in	the	"	homeward	bound	"	movies	does	a	fantastic	job	and	brings	more	out	of	stuart	than	anyone	else	could	.	he	to	me	fits	the	character	perfectly	and	ends	up	making	stuart	even	more	lovable	.	another	gem	of	the	film	is	nathan	lane	as	snowball	.	when	he	was	timon	in	1994's	"	the	lion	king	"	i	would	have	sworn	he	was	a	comedian	,	and	now	in	"	stuart	little	"	he	brings	the	most	out	of	snowball	and	makes	him	one	of	those	characters	we	love	to	dislike	.	for	the	human	actors	geena	davis	who	never	gives	a	bad	performance	does	not	disappoint	here	as	well	.	she	fits	nicely	in	her	character	and	there	is	a	good	chemistry	between	her	and	hugh	laurie	who	plays	mr	.	little	.	both	make	us	believe	they	are	happily	in	love	and	married	and	jonathan	lipnicki	as	their	song	is	even	more	adorable	than	he	was	in	1996's	"	jerry	maguire	"	.	even	though	stuart	little	is	completely	cgi	,	the	human	characters	and	stuart	have	a	nice	chemistry	together	and	even	makes	us	believe	they	really	do	care	for	each	other	.	"	stuart	little	"	is	ideal	family	entertainment	for	this	holiday	season	and	will	not	disappoint	youngsters	or	adults	for	that	matter	.	we	get	entertainment	,	laughs	,	cries	and	more	fun	at	the	movies	this	season	than	probably	any	other	movie	.	its	nice	to	see	a	pg	rated	movie	out	at	christmas	that	everyone	can	see	.	even	though	it	has	a	90	million	dollar	budget	i'm	sure	it	will	make	over	that	or	just	below	it	respectively	.	for	all	you	parents	out	there	trying	to	find	a	good	family	movie	,	i	have	yet	to	see	bicentennial	man	as	i	write	this	but	as	far	as	i	know	"	stuart	little	"	and	"	toy	story	2	"	are	by	far	the	best	family	films	this	year	.	a	winner	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	december	15	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	cornerhouse	(	manchester	)	released	in	the	uk	by	uip	on	march	17	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	112	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	spike	jonze	;	produced	by	steve	golin	,	vincent	landay	,	sandy	stern	,	michael	stipe	.	written	by	charlie	kaufman	.	photographed	by	lance	acord	;	edited	by	eric	zumbrunnen	.	when	i	first	heard	the	premise	of	"	being	john	malkovich	"	,	it	was	hard	to	accept	the	reality	that	one	day	such	a	film	would	be	made	,	and	i	would	be	able	to	sit	and	watch	it	.	now	i've	seen	it	twice	once	last	november	,	at	the	stella	screen	film	festival	,	and	again	this	week	,	at	the	dawn	of	its	general	release	.	but	i	still	haven't	quite	got	my	head	round	it	.	if	i'm	not	giving	it	four	stars	,	perhaps	one	of	the	reasons	is	that	i	need	to	see	it	a	few	more	times	before	its	full	force	really	sinks	in	.	the	movie	is	like	a	walk	through	a	long	maze	of	rooms	,	where	each	new	door	provides	a	hilariously	bizarre	payoff	to	the	last	.	consider	these	opening	scenes	.	we	meet	craig	schwarz	(	john	cusack	)	,	a	scruffy	street	puppeteer	who	doesn't	make	much	money	because	his	shows	are	too	blasphemous	and	carnal	.	his	wife	lotte	(	cameron	diaz	)	encourages	him	to	get	an	office	job	until	marionette	work	starts	to	pay	;	she's	raising	a	chimp	,	and	needs	some	serious	cash	.	craig	becomes	employed	as	a	file	clerk	on	floor	seven	and	a	half	of	a	new	york	city	skyscraper	.	(	the	ceilings	are	very	low	.	)	the	boss	(	orson	bean	)	is	a	105	year	old	pervert	obsessed	with	carrot	juice	,	and	his	secretary	(	mary	kay	place	)	is	a	paranoid	deaf	flirt	.	even	more	odd	is	a	hole	in	the	wall	of	craig's	office	,	which	turns	out	to	be	a	portal	into	the	mind	of	world	renowned	actor	john	malkovich	.	it	can	suck	people	into	the	man's	brain	for	fifteen	minutes	and	then	spit	them	out	onto	a	ditch	on	the	side	of	the	new	jersey	turnpike	.	craig's	co	worker	maxine	(	catherine	keener	)	is	determined	to	exploit	the	discovery	.	she	takes	out	a	classified	ad	and	sells	tickets	.	the	next	stages	of	the	plot	involve	the	other	ways	she	uses	the	situation	,	and	malkovich's	discovery	of	what's	going	on	.	i	don't	want	to	reveal	too	much	;	this	is	just	the	set	up	,	and	the	movie	keeps	unfolding	with	eccentric	developments	and	devices	,	which	are	so	delightful	because	they	seem	to	emerge	out	of	a	perfectly	logical	progression	.	every	event	leads	to	the	next	quite	reasonably	,	and	the	screenwriter	,	charlie	kaufman	,	gives	each	one	a	different	flavour	.	in	one	scene	near	the	beginning	of	the	movie	,	for	example	,	we're	laughing	at	the	outrageousness	of	craig's	puppet	show	.	after	that	enterprise	fails	,	and	he	gets	his	job	on	floor	seven	and	a	half	,	the	awkward	visuals	inspire	giggles	.	later	there	will	be	clever	celebrity	satire	,	when	craig	figures	out	how	to	control	malkovich's	body	and	turns	him	into	a	famed	puppeteer	,	and	we	see	a	tv	documentary	featuring	stars	gushing	over	his	talents	with	ludicrous	hyperbole	.	spike	jonze	,	who	directed	,	brings	the	twisted	turns	of	his	picture	to	life	by	shooting	them	in	dark	,	dramatic	tones	with	a	subtle	hand	held	camera	.	it's	close	enough	to	documentary	style	to	make	things	somehow	plausible	,	a	feeling	that	is	encouraged	by	the	actors	,	who	take	things	seriously	and	play	their	roles	with	sincerity	.	that	attitude	,	as	i'm	always	saying	,	is	necessary	for	comedy	to	work	properly	;	it's	the	audacity	of	the	film's	situations	that	creates	laughter	.	"	being	john	malkovich	"	has	an	exciting	enough	gimmick	,	in	that	it	has	its	title	figure	playing	a	supernatural	version	of	himself	.	it's	even	more	extraordinary	to	show	people	entering	his	mind	(	including	himself	)	,	developing	and	acting	on	sexual	attractions	within	it	,	and	using	it	as	a	vessel	for	re	writing	history	and	enjoying	everlasting	life	.	the	profound	skill	of	malkovich's	performance	doesn't	hit	our	conscious	mind	until	after	we	leave	the	cinema	.	as	most	reviews	have	pointed	out	,	he	creates	a	distinctive	character	out	of	his	own	pompous	image	,	but	his	more	complicated	scenes	are	those	in	which	he's	been	inhabited	by	other	people	.	his	adoption	of	their	mannerisms	is	so	committed	that	we	forget	he's	acting	.	we	just	believe	it	.	malkovich	is	the	man	onscreen	,	but	we	think	we're	watching	cusack	,	or	whoever	,	walking	around	in	his	body	.	i	am	rambling	.	exciting	films	will	make	me	do	that	.	take	it	as	a	strong	recommendation	,	and	not	a	sign	that	i	need	to	take	writing	classes	.	and	when	you	see	"	being	john	malkovich	"	,	remember	to	concentrate	hard	,	as	paying	attention	to	its	small	details	turns	out	to	be	very	rewarding	.	listen	carefully	for	names	of	companies	,	a	mention	of	a	plank	of	wood	,	and	orson	bean's	explanation	of	why	a	certain	journey	cannot	be	taken	after	a	certain	deadline	.	intriguing	?	good	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	director	:	john	mcnaughton	cast	:	kevin	bacon	,	matt	dillon	,	neve	campbell	,	theresa	russell	,	denise	richards	,	daphne	rubin	vega	screenplay	:	kem	nunn	,	stephen	peters	producers	:	steven	a	.	jones	,	rodney	m	.	liber	runtime	:	us	distribution	:	columbia	sony	pictures	mandalay	rated	r	:	strong	sexuality	,	nudity	,	language	,	violence	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	i	have	a	soft	spot	in	my	heart	for	pure	,	amoral	sleaze	.	i	liked	showgirls	(	there	,	i	said	it	)	.	i	typically	enjoy	myself	when	sitting	through	that	eszterhaz	,	sex	filled	cinematic	tabloid	ish	trash	.	wild	things	is	the	best	sleazy	film	i've	ever	seen	.	it's	filled	with	great	performances	,	graphic	sex	,	three	way	sex	,	rape	charges	,	double	crosses	,	plot	twists	,	genitalia	of	all	genders	,	graphic	violence	,	death	,	witty	humor	,	and	,	best	of	all	,	denise	richards	.	criticizing	this	film	for	being	disgusting	,	raucous	,	and	just	plain	wrong	is	as	fundamentally	pointless	as	criticizing	citizen	kane	for	being	disturbing	,	or	titanic	for	being	lofty	and	epic	.	wild	things	is	a	film	that	succeeds	in	its	endeavors	,	but	i	don't	just	admire	it	for	this	i	admire	it	for	being	so	entertaining	and	such	a	fun	time	at	the	movies	.	i	must	admit	up	front	,	however	,	that	i	am	directly	in	the	center	of	the	age	group	to	which	this	film	has	been	engineered	to	appeal	.	i	imagine	that	this	shows	.	it's	hard	to	give	a	plot	summary	without	giving	away	pieces	that	shouldn't	be	known	.	i	thought	i	had	the	whole	thing	worked	out	from	the	trailer	,	but	i	was	wrong	;	there	are	a	lot	of	turns	here	.	i'll	just	say	that	the	film	takes	place	in	blue	bay	,	a	rich	little	town	in	florida	.	in	blue	bay	lives	sam	lombardo	(	matt	dillon	)	,	a	teacher	who	is	accused	of	rape	by	two	of	his	students	,	kelly	van	ryan	(	denise	richards	)	,	and	suzie	toller	(	neve	campbell	)	.	kelly's	mother	,	sandra	(	theresa	russell	)	,	immediately	presses	charges	.	all	of	this	happens	fairly	early	in	the	film	.	and	right	up	until	this	point	,	i	had	the	whole	film	predicted	.	i	was	wrong	,	though	,	and	every	time	i	was	proven	wrong	,	i	was	shocked	.	wild	things	isn't	even	remotely	plausible	,	but	it	is	so	fun	to	see	where	the	story	takes	us	that	the	implausibility	of	every	scene	is	meaningless	,	and	often	invited	,	just	for	kicks	.	i	remember	first	seeing	the	preview	for	wild	things	before	the	replacement	killers	.	i'd	give	the	preview	four	stars	.	it	made	me	want	to	see	the	movie	so	much	that	i've	been	waiting	for	it	anxiously	ever	since	.	over	the	past	few	weeks	though	,	i	started	to	realize	that	there	was	no	way	the	film	could	live	up	to	the	preview	(	see	independence	day	)	;	thankfully	,	i	was	proven	wrong	.	the	preview	for	this	film	is	one	that	needs	to	be	studied	by	marketing	analysts	of	every	distribution	company	:	not	only	does	it	make	us	want	to	see	the	film	,	but	it	doesn't	give	away	any	of	the	secrets	.	but	i'm	not	here	to	talk	about	the	preview	.	i'm	here	to	talk	about	denise	richards	.	now	,	i	found	her	mildly	interesting	in	starship	troopers	,	but	in	wild	things	she	appeals	to	such	a	base	instinct	that	every	scene	she's	in	demands	attention	in	a	way	that	almost	no	other	performer	can	.	of	course	,	this	might	have	something	to	do	with	her	oceanic	eyes	.	.	.	and	flawless	body	.	.	.	but	i	thought	she	did	a	great	job	acting	,	too	(	stop	laughing	)	.	no	,	richards	is	truly	a	find	she	is	talented	,	and	always	convincing	in	this	film	.	this	mixed	in	with	her	insane	physical	appeal	makes	her	a	vital	asset	to	any	film	she	may	grace	in	the	future	.	the	other	actors	are	good	,	too	.	dillon	is	as	suave	as	ever	(	it's	nice	to	see	him	bouncing	back	from	albino	alligator	and	in	out	)	.	bacon	does	a	good	job	acting	all	determined	and	stuff	as	a	sex	crimes	officer	.	neve	campbell	gives	the	most	layered	performance	of	all	of	them	,	though	i	won't	pretend	that	any	of	these	characters	are	deep	and	complex	.	for	a	plot	like	this	to	work	,	all	of	these	people	have	to	be	insane	and	basically	contrived	.	that's	okay	,	because	director	john	mcnaughton	knows	that	he's	making	a	self	consciously	wicked	film	.	each	scene	even	the	three	way	sex	scene	is	observed	with	hilarity	by	mcnaughton	,	and	the	result	is	a	sleaze	fest	that's	too	smart	to	resist	.	there	isn't	an	inconsistent	moment	in	wild	things	:	every	bit	of	it	is	alluring	garbage	,	so	trashy	it's	funny	,	and	so	entertaining	it's	painful	.	i	loved	it	.
pos	clerks	is	raunchy	,	obscene	,	cheap	and	very	funny	throughout	.	made	for	just	27	,	000	,	and	set	mostly	in	a	convenience	store	,	this	represents	a	vry	good	film	made	for	very	little	money	.	often	films	get	special	treatment	and	consideration	if	they	cost	less	,	and	this	is	unfair	because	it	can	be	done	.	clerks	cronicles	the	day	of	a	quick	stop	convience	store	clerk	dante	and	his	buddy	randal	next	door	who	runs	a	bad	video	store	.	randal	shows	up	and	starts	utterly	pointless	yet	often	hilarious	results	.	did	independent	contractors	get	killed	in	the	later	of	the	star	wars	tilogy	,	it	was	still	being	built	when	it	was	blown	up	?	kevin	smith	,	the	films	writer	and	director	,	said	that	randal	represented	who	he	wants	to	be	and	dante	is	who	he	is	closest	to	.	you	can	tell	by	the	dialogue	provided	for	his	characters	.	dante	is	a	loser	,	he	pins	for	two	women	and	doesn't	understand	when	one	of	them	gets	upset	,	he	also	complains	about	his	job	constantly	.	randal	doesn't	care	about	anything	,	he	sits	around	,	bs's	with	dante	and	somethimes	the	costumers	(	when	he's	not	assaulting	them	)	,	he	is	also	provided	with	a	great	deal	of	the	funny	dialogue	.	jeff	anderson	,	who	plays	russel	,	hasn't	acted	since	his	turn	in	clerks	.	this	is	very	unfortunate	,	anderson	provides	perfectly	cynical	spins	on	every	line	of	dialogue	,	making	even	the	dialogue	that	doesn't	quite	work	seem	funny	.	smith	is	moving	towards	bigger	movies	with	bigger	stars	and	i	wish	we	would	get	another	look	at	anderson	and	brian	o'halloran	in	more	films	.	in	clerks	they	have	a	perfectly	funny	chemistry	,	and	deliver	this	movie	home	.	people	have	criticized	the	acting	in	this	film	,	calling	it	a	true	sign	of	the	films	budget	.	i	think	the	acting	is	perfect	for	this	films	feel	,	and	i	want	to	see	more	of	them	.
pos	starring	:	jamie	lee	curtis	(	lauris	strode	)	,	donald	pleasance	(	dr	.	sam	loomis	)	directed	by	:	john	carpenter	,	written	by	:	john	carpenter	and	debra	hillrated	r	by	the	mpaa	for	blood	,	violence	,	nudity	,	sexual	situations	,	strong	language	,	drug	usage	,	oh	hell	you	name	it	.	why	,	you	ask	,	is	this	labeled	as	a	review	and	not	a	retrospective	?	and	why	,	you	ask	,	are	you	reviewing	this	in	febuary	?	alright	,	here's	the	deal	.	back	in	october	of	1997	,	a	nice	little	theater	here	in	the	st	.	louis	area	,	the	"	mid	rivers	6	"	(	one	of	those	little	mall	theaters	)	decided	to	show	the	original	halloween	film	on	one	of	its	big	screens	you	know	,	like	they	say	all	the	time	,	"	the	way	it	was	meant	to	be	seen	.	"	anyway	,	since	i	didn't	see	halloween	for	the	first	time	until	october	of	'97	(	yes	,	sad	isn't	it	?	)	,	and	it	was	playing	in	a	theater	,	it's	a	review	.	as	for	why	i'm	writing	it	now	.	.	.	well	i	just	got	around	to	it	,	that's	all	.	sorry	i	couldn't	have	a	better	story	for	all	this	.	anyway	,	this	,	the	first	of	what	is	about	to	become	seven	halloween	films	,	is	quite	the	damn	good	show	.	you	have	to	keep	in	mind	,	this	movie	was	made	for	less	than	1	million	dollars	,	is	scored	via	john	carpenter's	keyboard	,	and	is	the	film	that	spawned	oh	,	say	.	.	.	all	the	slasher	flicks	of	the	80s	.	so	in	other	words	,	the	plot	here	has	become	the	stuff	of	legend	and	the	stuff	of	so	many	imitators	that	it's	predictable	on	a	level	that	most	people	don't	even	know	existed	.	and	so	what	?	it's	still	effectively	spooky	,	and	a	good	time	.	okay	.	here's	the	story	.	this	guy	,	michael	myers	,	killed	his	sister	in	haddonfield	,	illinois	,	when	he	was	six	.	and	then	he	got	shipped	off	to	the	mental	hospital	and	all	that	kinda	stuff	.	with	me	?	good	.	so	this	doc	,	dr	.	loomis	,	is	studying	the	freak	,	and	realizes	that	he's	is	"	pure	evil	"	(	a	dr	.	loomis	catch	phrase	)	.	and	that	means	he's	one	of	the	most	wigged	people	when	mikey	escapes	over	a	decade	after	his	original	crime	and	heads	home	.	.	.	on	halloween	.	hence	the	title	.	and	hence	the	line	from	the	ads	:	"	the	night	he	came	home	.	"	get	it	?	good	.	oh	yeah	,	and	this	girl	,	laurie	strode	,	happens	to	be	babysitting	this	night	,	and	so	are	her	friends	,	and	they're	all	doing	this	in	the	same	area	,	and	,	well	,	you	can	figure	out	the	rest	.	it's	suspenseful	,	that's	what	this	comes	down	to	.	the	music	,	cheesy	though	it	may	seem	at	first	,	works	.	the	acting	,	particularly	from	our	two	leads	,	works	.	it's	a	classic	,	and	it	deserves	to	be	,	it's	damn	fun	.	sure	it's	predictable	.	but	so	?	a	lot	of	movies	are	you	knew	that	john	mcclane	was	going	to	kick	terrorist	ass	in	every	die	hard	movie	right	?	it's	all	of	matter	of	how	you	get	to	that	point	.	so	yeah	,	it	lives	up	to	the	test	of	time	.	it	has	the	feel	of	a	classic	,	and	that	goes	a	long	way	towards	the	fun	even	at	the	hokey	times	,	you	know	it	only	seems	hokey	because	of	the	time	period	it	was	made	in	.	anyway	,	that's	enough	from	me	.	all	i	really	have	to	say	is	,	you've	heard	it's	a	classic	film	,	and	i'm	agreeing	that	it	deserves	the	mantle	.	not	many	horror	suspense	do	,	after	all	.	all	that	without	the	kwc	.	and	you	know	,	nothing's	scarier	than	a	william	shatner	mask	,	either	.
pos	three	kings	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	3kings	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	3kings	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	george	clooney	,	mark	wahlberg	,	ice	cube	,	spike	jonze	written	and	directed	by	david	o	.	russell	the	soldiers	of	three	kings	have	taken	their	cue	from	movies	about	vietnam	.	(	fitting	,	since	the	media	saturated	gulf	war	became	a	pop	entertainment	.	)	while	driving	through	a	long	,	flat	iraqi	desert	(	in	a	humvee	with	a	bart	simpson	hood	ornament	)	,	one	of	the	men	under	special	forces	sgt	.	maj	.	archie	gates'	(	who's	steering	)	command	requests	a	beach	boys	tune	.	these	men	want	their	apocalypse	now	moment	,	only	instead	of	surfing	,	they	bop	to	the	music	and	skeet	shoot	out	the	back	of	the	vehicle	,	armed	with	automatic	rifles	.	our	three	kings	(	okay	,	four	)	are	good	fighters	,	but	they	don't	necessarily	take	operation	desert	storm	seriously	it's	a	reprieve	from	their	hellish	day	jobs	.	they	are	gates	,	new	father	sgt	.	troy	barlow	(	wahlberg	)	,	sgt	.	chief	elgin	(	cube	)	,	and	pvt	.	conrad	vig	(	music	video	director	jonze	)	.	at	story's	start	,	president	bush	has	declared	a	ceasefire	,	and	american	troops	are	tying	up	loose	ends	.	barlow	,	elgin	,	and	vig	discover	during	a	round	up	of	iraqi	captives	an	"	ass	map	"	that	points	to	a	bunker	filled	with	gold	bullion	.	gates	leaves	his	jurisdiction	to	commandeer	the	situation	;	he	proposes	demands	that	barlow	,	elgin	,	and	vig	join	him	on	a	treasure	hunt	.	ditching	his	escort	,	a	relentless	reporter	named	adriana	cruz	(	nora	dunn	)	,	is	easy	.	so	is	finding	the	treasure	,	until	the	four	men	realize	the	magnitude	of	discord	still	breathing	in	iraq	:	saddam's	men	are	threatening	the	dictator's	detractors	(	citizens	of	his	own	country	)	with	violence	.	when	gates	and	company	arrive	at	the	bunker	with	a	stolen	truck	,	ready	to	loot	,	the	unarmed	rebels	want	help	.	(	bush	encouraged	them	to	rise	up	against	the	government	,	but	provided	no	military	support	for	such	cause	.	)	gates	convinces	the	vault's	guards	that	this	is	a	post	war	mission	,	and	even	accepts	their	assistance	in	loading	the	truck	.	the	situation	could	go	off	without	a	hitch	:	the	former	enemies	bear	no	grudges	.	but	the	money	hungry	gates	has	a	conscience	,	and	when	one	female	bystander	is	shot	by	a	sadistic	grunt	before	these	americans	have	left	the	scene	,	he	orders	barlow	,	elgin	and	vig	to	open	fire	on	the	surrounding	arab	forces	.	the	result	:	barlow	is	kidnapped	,	and	the	filmmakers	imply	that	these	would	be	kings	are	seeing	more	action	than	they	ever	did	during	wartime	.	barlow	is	eventually	locked	in	a	dank	room	and	wired	up	to	a	shocking	device	.	his	interrogator	lost	his	family	to	the	bombs	,	and	he	wants	barlow	to	imagine	the	demise	of	his	own	wife	and	child	.	(	he	does	,	in	chilling	,	lasting	images	.	)	i	liked	these	scenes	best	,	because	the	political	became	personal	.	it's	one	thing	to	champion	the	plight	of	thousands	;	it's	another	to	see	a	ceiling	cave	in	atop	a	baby	in	a	crib	.	russell	has	shocked	us	before	:	his	first	film	,	spanking	the	monkey	,	is	about	a	young	man's	affair	with	his	bedridden	mother	.	(	it's	great	.	)	his	second	,	flirting	with	disaster	,	features	a	character	who	has	an	armpit	fetish	.	one	could	argue	that	it's	easier	to	make	an	audience	react	to	such	sexual	deviance	than	explosions	,	though	;	russell	disturbs	us	in	three	kings	by	being	no	nonsense	about	the	violence	.	when	barlow	conjures	the	detonation	of	his	suburban	home	,	russell	mutes	the	sound	we're	paying	attention	to	the	debris	instead	of	thx	bombast	.	three	kings	is	russell's	first	visually	arresting	picture	.	stylistically	,	it	stands	apart	from	other	war	dramas	.	newton	thomas	sigel's	cinematography	of	the	exteriors	is	overexposed	and	extremely	grainy	,	which	is	,	of	course	,	entirely	appropriate	.	one	practically	breaks	out	in	sweat	staring	at	the	screen	.	(	a	friend	enthusiastically	added	,	"	it's	like	having	sand	in	your	eyes	.	"	)	this	also	helps	to	blur	the	fact	that	the	actual	locations	are	far	removed	from	the	persian	gulf	facade	.	(	three	kings	was	shot	in	arizona	,	california	,	and	mexico	.	)	russell	throws	plenty	at	sigel's	camera	for	it	to	observe	as	was	the	case	with	russell's	previous	efforts	,	the	most	absurd	moments	are	also	the	film's	most	realistic	,	even	the	most	poignant	.	(	we	watch	a	bullet	puncture	an	organ	from	the	inside	.	)	if	anything	,	three	kings	settles	down	and	stops	surprising	us	.	its	climax	is	pure	hollywood	,	no	doubt	the	answer	to	why	a	major	studio	felt	comfortable	getting	into	bed	with	the	indie	minded	russell	.	subsequently	,	the	characters	become	more	cartoonish	barlow's	post	torture	revelry	felt	phony	,	and	chief	,	a	strong	presence	in	the	first	third	,	fails	to	escape	the	god	fearing	ultra	serious	anti	racist	black	man	of	power	clich	so	much	for	cube	avoiding	token	status	.	(	the	arab	players	,	on	the	other	hand	,	duck	stereotype	.	)	clooney	,	too	,	transforms	into	a	blandly	heroic	protestor	marching	with	the	rebels	,	i	waited	for	him	to	shout	,	"	let	my	people	go	!	"	hayseed	vig	notwithstanding	,	the	protagonists	are	very	intelligent	,	and	self	serving	,	too	;	i	had	a	glimmer	of	hope	,	based	on	russell's	filmography	,	that	our	antiheroes	would	revert	to	their	greedy	selves	at	some	juncture	.	(	it's	not	spoiling	much	to	write	that	.	)	then	again	,	what	historical	importance	would	such	nastiness	serve	?	(	there's	already	enough	cynicism	in	the	film's	mentioning	of	kuwait's	oil	infested	waters	.	)	russell	offers	the	masses	a	primer	on	the	oft	dismissed	gulf	conflict	,	and	pulled	off	a	neat	trick	:	a	war	tale	full	of	battles	that	takes	place	after	a	truce	has	been	declared	.	if	he	set	out	to	make	something	socially	culturally	politically	globally	significant	,	he	succeeded	.	with	flair	.
pos	directed	by	ridley	scott	.	screenplay	by	david	h	franzoni	,	john	logan	and	william	nicholson	.	starring	russell	crowe	,	joaquin	phoenix	,	connie	nielsen	.	running	time	:	153	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	blood	letting	and	violent	scenes	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	may	8th	,	2000	.	the	reign	of	caesar	marcus	aurelius	in	the	mid	second	century	a	.	d	.	is	often	considered	a	golden	age	of	the	roman	empire	.	marcus	was	instrumental	in	securing	peace	in	the	nether	regions	of	the	empire	,	but	was	also	a	philosopher	of	great	renown	.	he	died	in	180	and	rule	passed	to	his	son	commodus	.	the	transition	was	an	orderly	one	;	commodus	was	recommended	to	the	senate	by	marcus	,	and	indeed	had	been	sharing	power	with	his	father	since	177	.	commodus'	rule	,	however	,	would	go	down	in	the	history	books	as	disastrous	,	with	the	caesar's	demeanour	descending	into	brutality	and	ultimately	madness	.	in	182	his	sister	lucilla	and	a	group	of	senators	tried	unsuccessfully	to	have	him	assassinated	.	commodus	became	obsessed	with	the	gladiatorial	games	,	and	in	192	his	own	advisers	had	him	strangled	by	a	popular	wrestler	.	"	gladiator	"	is	a	condensed	and	largely	fictionalised	version	of	the	true	events	.	the	most	notable	addition	to	the	story	is	maximus	(	russell	crowe	)	,	a	general	who	leads	the	romans	to	victory	against	the	german	tribes	to	the	north	.	contradicting	real	life	,	marcus	aurelius	(	richard	harris	)	wants	maximus	not	commodus	to	be	rome's	new	ruler	after	his	death	,	with	the	aim	of	eventually	turning	the	empire	back	into	a	republic	.	before	he	can	proclaim	his	decision	,	however	,	the	deceitful	commodus	(	joaquin	phoenix	)	murders	his	father	and	orders	maximus'	execution	.	maximus	escapes	and	tries	to	return	home	to	spain	,	only	to	discover	that	commodus	has	had	his	wife	and	son	killed	as	well	.	gravely	wounded	in	his	flight	,	maximus	is	captured	and	bought	by	proximo	(	the	late	oliver	reed	)	to	fight	as	a	gladiator	.	initially	reluctant	,	maximus	soon	embraces	his	new	role	when	it	gives	him	a	chance	to	travel	to	rome	,	where	the	new	caesar	has	declared	150	days	of	gladiatorial	games	to	celebrate	his	ascension	to	the	throne	.	there	,	maximus'	efforts	to	take	revenge	on	commodus	involve	him	in	the	machinations	of	commodus'	sister	lucilla	(	connie	nielsen	)	.	the	first	blockbuster	movie	of	the	2000	summer	season	,	"	gladiator	"	is	a	visual	feast	.	expert	set	design	and	computer	effects	have	been	exploited	in	their	fullest	by	director	ridley	scott	to	bring	ancient	rome	to	life	.	shots	which	pan	overhead	across	the	city	to	the	coliseum	,	teeming	with	spectators	,	are	fabulous	to	behold	.	it	is	difficult	not	to	feel	transported	eighteen	hundred	years	back	in	time	.	in	some	respects	,	however	,	scott	overdoes	it	with	his	cinematic	trickery	.	specifically	,	he	portrays	many	fight	scenes	both	with	the	gladiators	and	the	legions	using	a	choppy	,	strobe	like	technique	.	scott	is	clearly	trying	to	achieve	the	sense	of	disorientation	in	battle	that	was	so	successfully	conveyed	in	films	like	"	braveheart	"	and	"	saving	private	ryan	"	.	instead	,	he	merely	makes	these	sequences	disjointed	and	hard	to	watch	.	it	is	virtually	impossible	to	follow	the	actions	of	even	the	principal	characters	,	and	so	the	viewer	is	left	to	try	to	piece	together	what	is	actually	happening	.	it	has	been	more	than	thirty	years	since	the	last	great	roman	epic	was	made	.	in	reviving	the	genre	,	the	scriptwriters	have	elected	to	hew	closely	to	tried	and	true	storylines	rather	than	break	new	ground	.	"	gladiator	"	does	not	deviate	much	from	other	examples	of	the	genre	,	echoing	everything	from	"	spartacus	"	to	"	doctor	who	"	.	the	mad	emperor	,	the	resurgent	war	hero	,	and	the	gladiatorial	games	as	a	conduit	for	revenge	are	all	familiar	plot	elements	.	nonetheless	,	the	story	is	entertainingly	told	,	and	while	considerable	attention	is	paid	to	the	gladiator	combat	which	is	the	movie's	main	attraction	,	this	is	not	overaccentuated	.	"	gladiator	"	is	no	"	mortal	kombat	"	,	moving	from	meaningless	battle	to	meaningless	battle	without	pause	.	the	film	is	very	well	paced	,	and	the	quieter	aspects	of	the	plot	are	not	trivialised	.	perhaps	as	a	result	of	this	,	"	gladiator	"	boasts	some	unusually	fine	acting	for	a	big	budget	action	picture	.	crowe	,	although	by	no	means	achieving	the	complexity	of	his	oscar	nominated	performance	in	"	the	insider	"	,	brings	a	pleasant	depth	to	maximus	.	the	general	is	a	man	first	and	a	hero	second	;	he	is	driven	to	confront	commodus	not	by	a	love	of	rome	,	but	rather	of	a	man	who	was	as	a	father	to	him	,	and	of	a	murdered	wife	and	child	whose	deaths	he	must	avenge	.	crowe	brings	an	evenness	to	the	role	which	makes	maximus	seem	more	real	than	similar	characters	in	other	movies	.	likewise	,	phoenix	does	well	not	to	overplay	commodus	.	the	role	of	the	insane	tyrant	has	often	been	an	invitation	to	hammy	overacting	in	the	past	,	but	phoenix's	portrayal	is	more	subtle	.	commodus'	burgeoning	madness	is	manifested	largely	through	his	body	language	,	rather	than	any	particular	statement	or	deed	.	also	very	good	are	reed	and	harris	in	supporting	roles	.	despite	their	comparatively	short	screen	time	(	indeed	,	reed	actually	died	before	filming	was	complete	,	forcing	scott	to	compensate	using	clever	editing	and	digital	effects	)	,	both	grant	their	characters	a	sense	of	history	and	profundity	.	perhaps	least	successful	is	nielsen	as	lucilla	,	despite	having	what	may	be	"	gladiator	"	's	most	involved	role	.	lucilla	is	commodus'	sister	,	and	he	obviously	harbors	inappropriate	feelings	for	her	.	it	is	also	strongly	implied	that	she	is	maximus'	former	lover	.	and	she	is	a	dispassionate	and	intelligent	schemer	,	whose	allegiances	may	be	pivotal	in	determining	rome's	future	.	but	nielsen	comes	across	as	detached	throughout	the	proceedings	,	more	so	than	is	called	for	by	her	character	.	even	in	scenes	where	lucilla's	reserve	breaks	,	nielsen	feels	removed	from	the	action	.	given	her	importance	in	how	the	events	of	the	movie	play	out	,	this	is	an	unfortunate	central	weakness	.	but	all	in	all	,	"	gladiator	"	is	entrancing	to	watch	,	beautifully	acted	,	and	really	just	a	lot	of	good	old	fashioned	fun	.	although	far	removed	from	the	greatness	of	classics	like	"	ben	hur	"	,	it	marks	an	entertaining	and	satisfying	return	of	what	was	once	one	of	hollywood's	favourite	genres	.	indeed	,	given	the	possibilities	offered	by	this	age	of	increasingly	sophisticated	special	effects	,	"	gladiator	"	is	hopefully	just	the	first	of	many	forays	back	to	the	time	of	the	great	roman	empire	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	gladiator	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	gladiator	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
pos	rating	:	1	2	out	of	8	.	5	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	jim	henson	(	kermit	the	frog	rowlf	dr	.	teeth	waldorf	)	,	frank	oz	(	miss	piggy	fozzie	bear	animal	sam	the	eagle	)	,	charles	durning	(	doc	hopper	)	,	austin	pendleton	(	max	)	,	milton	berle	(	mad	man	mooney	)	,	mel	brooks	(	professor	max	krassman	)	,	james	coburn	(	el	sleezo	cafe	owner	)	,	dom	deluise	(	bernie	the	hollywood	agent	)	,	elliott	gould	(	beauty	contest	compere	)	,	bob	hope	(	ice	cream	vendor	)	,	cloris	leachman	(	lord's	secretary	)	,	steve	martin	(	insolent	waiter	)	,	richard	pryor	(	balloon	vendor	)	,	telly	savalas	(	el	sleezo	tough	)	,	orson	welles	(	lord	lew	)	,	carroll	spinney	(	big	bird	)	certification	:	g	the	muppet	movie	is	the	first	,	and	the	best	movie	among	the	ever	growing	list	of	muppet	movies	.	the	muppet	movie	tells	the	story	of	how	our	hero	,	kermit	the	frog	,	came	to	be	a	star	.	a	delightful	movie	for	all	ages	,	the	muppet	movie	is	bursting	with	cameo	appearances	by	countless	hollywood	stars	of	the	80's	and	today	.	the	muppet	movie	begins	in	a	movie	theater	,	where	all	of	the	muppet	stars	are	anxiously	awaiting	the	first	showing	.	once	everyone	is	settled	down	,	the	movie	inside	of	the	movie	begins	.	it	starts	out	with	kermit	in	a	swamp	,	playing	his	banjo	and	singing	(	this	shot	required	jim	henson	to	spend	hours	underwater	)	.	kermit	is	discovered	by	bernie	,	a	big	time	hollywood	agent	who	happens	upon	kermit	by	accident	.	bernie	believes	that	kermit	holds	much	potential	to	become	a	big	star	in	hollywood	.	kermit	ponders	the	idea	of	becoming	a	big	movie	star	,	where	he	could	"	make	millions	of	people	happy	"	.	kermit	decides	to	leave	his	swamp	and	make	the	trip	out	to	hollywood	.	along	the	way	,	kermit	befriends	his	now	famous	muppet	companions	,	beginning	with	fozzie	bear	,	who	had	been	spending	his	days	doing	stand	up	comedy	at	the	el	sleezo	cafe	,	owned	by	james	coburn	.	the	two	decide	to	team	up	and	continue	on	their	way	to	hollywood	.	but	,	doc	hopper	(	charles	durning	)	,	the	owner	of	a	chain	of	french	fried	frog	leg	restaurants	has	a	different	idea	.	he	wants	kermit	to	be	his	spokesman	,	but	kermit	is	humiliated	at	the	idea	and	spends	the	movie	avoiding	him	and	his	assistants	.	the	trip	continues	,	with	kermit	and	fozzie	meeting	miss	piggy	,	rowlf	,	gonzo	,	the	electric	mayhem	band	,	and	more	muppets	who	all	share	the	same	wish	:	to	make	it	to	hollywood	.	oh	,	and	even	more	celebrities	continue	to	appear	.	kermit	and	miss	piggy	continue	to	get	to	know	each	other	a	little	better	,	including	a	rather	funny	scene	at	a	restaurant	with	steve	martin	as	the	waiter	.	eventually	,	kermit	and	the	group	make	it	to	hollywood	.	that	is	,	after	kermit	is	finally	able	to	elude	doc	hopper	and	proclaim	his	freedom	.	lord	lew	,	a	big	time	hollywood	producer	portrayed	by	orson	welles	,	gives	kermit	his	shot	at	stardom	and	gives	him	the	go	ahead	to	produce	a	movie	.	the	muppet	movie	is	definitely	a	movie	that	is	fun	for	all	ages	.	it	is	also	a	sure	deal	as	one	parents	can	watch	,	and	enjoy	along	with	their	kids	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	cast	:	tim	roth	,	chris	penn	,	michael	rooker	,	renee	zellweger	,	rosanna	arquette	,	michael	parks	,	ellen	burstyn	director	:	jonas	josh	pate	producers	:	mark	damon	,	peter	glatzer	screenplay	:	jonas	josh	pate	cinematography	:	bill	butler	music	:	harry	gregson	williams	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	mgm	it's	wednesday	,	march	27	,	and	a	murder	investigation	is	underway	in	charlotte	,	south	carolina	.	the	crime	:	a	young	prostitute	,	elizabeth	(	renee	zellweger	)	,	has	been	brutally	slain	.	one	half	of	her	severed	body	was	found	in	a	bag	at	the	train	station	.	the	other	half	was	discovered	in	a	trunk	at	the	harbor	authority	,	miles	away	.	the	police	duo	of	braxton	(	chris	penn	)	and	kennesaw	(	michael	rooker	)	are	strapped	for	leads	.	at	the	moment	,	they	have	only	one	possible	suspect	:	wayland	(	tim	roth	)	,	a	wealthy	,	unemployed	genius	who	graduated	summa	cum	laude	from	princeton	and	appears	to	be	the	least	likely	character	to	commit	such	a	heinous	act	.	that's	the	premise	for	deceiver	,	a	new	thriller	from	the	pate	brothers	,	jonas	and	josh	,	who	made	their	mark	on	the	film	world	two	years	ago	at	sundance	with	the	movie	the	grave	.	deceiver	plays	out	like	a	mind	game	between	the	intellectually	superior	wayland	and	the	two	not	so	bright	cops	(	captions	early	in	the	proceedings	let	us	know	that	wayland's	iq	is	151	;	by	contrast	,	kennesaw's	is	122	and	braxton's	is	102	)	.	the	setting	is	a	police	interrogation	room	where	a	lie	detector	test	is	about	to	be	administered	.	over	three	days	,	as	wayland	returns	to	answer	more	questions	,	the	drama	and	tension	among	these	three	characters	gradually	escalates	until	,	inevitably	,	it	boils	over	.	other	plot	elements	are	thrown	in	for	good	measure	.	wayland	suffers	from	a	peculiar	kind	of	epilepsy	that	can	,	in	stressful	situations	,	render	him	virtually	catatonic	or	extremely	violent	.	braxton	,	a	compulsive	gambler	,	is	deep	in	debt	to	a	local	syndicate	.	and	kennesaw	is	haunted	by	a	dark	,	abusive	side	that	delights	in	terrorizing	women	,	especially	his	wife	(	rosanna	arquette	)	,	whom	he	suspects	of	being	unfaithful	.	the	foibles	and	failings	of	these	three	are	brought	into	the	open	as	the	mystery	around	elizabeth's	death	deepens	and	it	becomes	unclear	who	has	the	upper	hand	:	the	suspect	or	his	questioners	.	deceiver	,	which	mostly	transpires	in	a	dimly	lit	room	and	involves	a	lot	of	smart	dialogue	,	has	the	feel	of	a	david	mamet	play	:	edgy	,	claustrophobic	,	and	tense	.	the	atmosphere	is	explosive	,	and	some	of	pivotal	moments	of	confrontation	are	riveting	.	deceiver	has	the	power	to	grab	an	audience	.	unfortunately	,	in	the	end	,	it	succumbs	to	the	need	to	throw	in	one	last	,	unexpected	twist	,	and	this	is	its	undoing	.	for	,	while	this	surprise	will	certainly	shock	most	viewers	,	it	also	stretches	our	credulity	too	much	,	and	raises	more	questions	than	it	answers	.	it's	only	an	effective	wrap	up	if	you	don't	think	too	carefully	about	its	full	implications	.	of	course	,	the	film	as	a	whole	plays	fast	and	loose	with	reality	and	logic	.	police	procedure	is	totally	ignored	and	it's	almost	impossible	to	accept	that	any	criminal	investigation	would	or	could	proceed	in	this	manner	.	but	the	real	focus	in	deceiver	is	on	character	interaction	,	not	plot	details	.	deceiver	only	occasionally	gets	out	of	the	police	station	,	and	those	instances	occur	primarily	during	flashbacks	featuring	the	prostitute	.	the	pates	employ	a	number	of	interesting	techniques	to	present	vignettes	from	elizabeth's	final	days	and	hours	.	the	most	intriguing	of	these	is	to	use	an	unreliable	narrator	while	underlining	the	discrepancies	in	his	voice	over	by	visually	showing	what	really	happened	.	moments	like	this	are	too	effective	to	be	dismissed	as	gimmicks	.	the	movie	,	obviously	fashioned	in	the	manner	of	classic	film	noir	,	drips	atmosphere	.	there	are	some	fascinating	stylistic	touches	;	for	example	,	although	the	setting	is	contemporary	,	all	of	the	telephones	are	old	fashioned	,	rotary	models	.	cinematographer	bill	butler	is	given	an	opportunity	to	use	unconventional	camera	work	to	liven	up	deceiver's	look	.	some	of	the	things	he	tries	(	mostly	those	that	involve	the	contrast	between	light	and	shadow	)	work	exceptionally	well	,	while	others	(	like	any	of	several	lazy	susan	shots	)	seem	more	like	unnecessary	visual	tricks	.	as	wayland	,	tim	roth	gives	the	film's	top	performance	,	despite	occasionally	treading	the	tightrope	between	acting	and	overacting	.	roth	makes	us	believe	that	wayland	is	both	as	brilliant	and	as	troubled	as	he's	supposed	to	be	.	the	other	two	leads	,	chris	penn	and	michael	rooker	,	aren't	as	effective	.	both	play	their	characters	like	familiar	types	.	penn's	performance	is	uninspired	;	rooker's	lacks	subtlety	.	some	of	the	best	work	is	turned	in	by	the	supporting	actors	.	renee	zellweger	,	in	a	role	that's	miles	away	from	her	star	making	turn	in	jerry	maguire	,	brings	a	note	of	vulnerability	and	humanity	to	a	part	that	could	easily	have	become	a	caricature	.	rosanna	arquette	is	solid	as	kennesaw's	wife	,	and	michael	parks	delivers	several	wonderful	scenes	as	a	psychiatrist	who's	entrusted	with	evaluating	wayland's	condition	.	one	of	the	best	things	about	deceiver	is	that	it	never	talks	down	to	the	audience	.	plot	points	aren't	hammered	home	,	and	,	although	the	ending	has	its	weaknesses	,	everything	isn't	spelled	out	in	bold	letters	.	the	pates	give	audience	members	credit	for	having	brains	,	which	is	an	increasingly	rare	characteristic	for	film	makers	.	occasionally	gripping	and	never	uninteresting	,	deceiver	is	a	fine	noir	effort	.
pos	member	of	the	'internet	movie	critics	association'	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	from	the	first	film	version	of	victor	hugo's	classic	novel	'les	miserables'	in	1935	with	fredric	march	and	charles	laughton	,	to	the	latest	(	not	counting	this	one	)	in	1995	with	jean	paul	belmondo	and	michel	boujenah	,	there	have	been	four	other	notable	versions	sandwiched	in	between	.	two	in	1952	,	one	in	1957	and	a	television	version	in	1978	.	hugo's	fascinating	novel	of	forgiveness	and	redemption	is	a	timeless	and	literary	classic	message	to	be	passed	down	for	all	generations	to	come	.	i've	read	the	book	twice	but	the	last	time	was	some	15	years	ago	or	so	and	i	must	confess	that	i've	never	seen	any	of	the	staged	versions	but	so	what	?	motion	pictures	capture	the	true	essence	of	eternal	human	expression	better	than	any	other	medium	.	just	my	opinion	,	of	course	,	but	seeing	visuals	spring	from	the	pages	of	artful	writing	is	truly	one	of	life's	greatest	pleasures	.	the	latest	version	is	a	pleasing	,	but	is	at	times	a	muted	adaptation	that	might	disappoint	the	hard	core	fans	of	the	story	but	will	satisfy	most	others	.	i'm	somewhere	in	between	and	i	recommend	the	picture	either	way	.	set	in	early	19th	century	france	,	liam	neeson	is	jean	valjean	,	a	man	convicted	of	stealing	bread	from	a	merchant's	window	display	and	is	forced	to	spend	19	years	in	prison	,	suffering	the	harsh	labour	of	a	punishment	that	doesn't	fit	the	crime	.	the	hypocrisy	of	19th	justice	comes	to	complete	fruition	as	people	are	judged	in	the	workplace	on	their	morals	,	but	a	completely	immoral	punishment	such	as	this	comes	to	pass	.	upon	his	release	on	parole	,	he	examines	his	future	through	the	kind	actions	of	a	monsignor	who	spares	him	from	a	return	to	prison	and	valjean	rises	above	the	social	cellar	to	become	a	man	of	political	influence	and	considerable	wealth	.	neeson	is	towering	in	the	role	of	valjean	,	uncompromising	in	his	righteous	path	of	redemption	while	retaining	the	strength	of	character	he	learned	the	hard	way	in	prison	.	geoffrey	rush	(	'shine'	)	is	javert	,	a	man	who	served	as	an	official	who	supervised	,	abused	and	humiliated	valjean	in	prison	and	now	recognizes	valjean	twenty	years	later	,	determined	to	see	valjean	arrested	for	circumstances	that	he	considers	to	be	a	violation	of	valjean's	parole	.	his	intention	is	to	expose	valjean	for	who	he	once	was	.	in	this	time	and	place	,	you	don't	have	the	chance	to	reform	as	society	always	judges	you	by	what	you've	done	in	your	past	life	.	javert	is	a	man	so	rigid	in	his	moral	high	ground	,	that	he	fails	to	see	the	errors	of	his	way	.	rush	is	completely	different	from	the	role	he	played	in	'shine'	.	he	proves	he	can	make	a	villain	just	as	memorable	as	a	hero	and	he	is	truly	a	gifted	performer	.	valjean	now	owns	a	factory	and	is	the	local	mayor	and	takes	pity	upon	a	former	worker	,	fantine	(	uma	thurman	)	who	was	dismissed	for	having	a	child	out	of	wedlock	and	is	now	forced	to	work	as	a	prostitute	to	support	her	daughter	that	she	sent	away	to	live	with	others	.	as	he	is	forced	to	leave	his	business	behind	because	of	the	relentless	pursuit	by	javert	,	valjean	adopts	fantine's	daughter	cosette	(	mimi	newman	as	a	little	girl	and	and	later	claire	danes	as	a	young	woman	)	after	fantine's	death	and	as	the	years	pass	,	they	try	an	make	a	life	for	themselves	around	the	time	of	an	uprising	against	the	french	monarchy	.	cosette's	semi	romantic	involvement	with	a	young	revolutionary	(	hans	matheson	)	is	the	film's	weak	spot	,	an	underwritten	sub	plot	that	detracts	for	the	overall	impact	of	the	film's	climax	.	as	a	richly	textured	and	deeply	felt	part	of	literary	history	,	les	miserables	transforms	well	into	a	motion	picture	but	it	is	impossible	to	portray	all	of	the	book's	elements	in	a	2	hour	and	13	minute	film	but	director	bille	august	and	screenwriter	rafael	yglesias	have	fashioned	a	version	of	the	story	that	moves	well	,	is	easy	to	understand	,	and	despite	the	lack	of	french	accents	among	the	cast	,	it's	a	story	of	redemption	on	many	levels	,	most	notably	that	of	souls	tormented	by	their	past	.
pos	starring	giovanni	ribisi	,	nia	long	,	vin	diesel	,	nicky	katt	,	scott	caan	,	jamie	kennedy	,	ron	rifkin	,	and	ben	affleck	.	while	watching	boiler	room	,	i	was	constantly	reminded	of	last	year's	masterpiece	fight	club	.	both	films	consist	of	a	predominately	male	cast	.	both	films	follow	young	men	as	they	illicitly	fight	the	traditional	system	for	their	own	desires	.	and	both	films	are	seen	through	the	eyes	of	one	narrator	,	who	eventually	realizes	that	these	men	have	to	be	stopped	.	while	boiler	room	writer	director	ben	younger	does	not	get	his	point	across	as	well	as	david	fincher	does	for	fight	club	,	he	does	contribute	another	impressive	work	to	a	series	of	films	aiming	to	represent	the	new	generation	.	a	generation	which	has	seen	the	internet	prosper	and	where	everyone	wants	to	be	a	millionaire	.	paying	homage	to	oliver	stone's	1987	classic	wall	street	,	younger	is	almost	modernizing	the	tale	by	using	younger	,	hipper	actors	to	play	the	greedy	villains	as	opposed	to	the	older	,	more	experienced	types	.	as	is	true	in	real	life	,	younger	minds	are	becoming	richer	and	richer	from	their	knowledge	of	more	standard	technology	.	boiler	room	dismisses	the	notion	of	ingenuity	and	shows	that	greed	and	desire	for	power	come	in	all	ages	.	another	similarity	with	fight	club	is	that	both	films	are	not	action	flicks	.	some	people	are	convinced	that	an	all	male	cast	automatically	means	there	must	be	gory	violence	,	here	is	proof	that	this	is	not	true	.	if	you	want	to	see	an	action	movie	starring	ben	affleck	,	go	see	reindeer	games	this	weekend	.	if	you	want	to	see	a	smart	,	insightful	film	with	excellent	acting	and	a	clever	script	,	see	boiler	room	.	giovanni	ribisi	gives	an	outstanding	performance	as	the	film's	narrator	,	seth	.	after	dropping	out	of	college	and	running	a	lucrative	gambling	center	for	college	students	in	his	apartment	,	seth	is	offered	a	high	paying	job	by	a	wealthy	man	(	nicky	katt	)	.	he	agrees	to	take	the	job	(	in	which	you	are	guaranteed	to	become	a	millionaire	within	three	years	)	of	selling	stock	to	well	off	americans	from	the	mid	west	over	the	telephone	and	begins	to	fit	in	quite	well	with	his	co	workers	.	learning	tricky	techniques	to	deceive	innocent	people	into	buying	shares	of	a	good	in	production	,	seth	figures	this	is	too	good	to	be	true	.	after	stumbling	into	a	room	at	the	wrong	time	,	he	knows	there	is	something	no	good	about	this	company	.	at	this	point	,	seth	is	left	with	the	ultimate	choice	;	continue	with	the	american	dream	and	make	millions	or	tell	the	authorities	that	something	fishy	is	going	on	.	ribisi	is	believable	as	seth	especially	when	he	shares	scenes	with	ron	rifkin	,	playing	seth's	dad	.	the	two	have	perfect	chemistry	as	a	troubled	father	and	son	trying	to	impress	each	other	and	simultaneously	impress	themselves	.	the	transitions	from	anger	to	sympathy	that	these	scenes	contain	are	the	standout	segments	of	the	entire	film	.	the	supporting	cast	of	greedy	co	workers	is	also	flawless	.	ben	affleck	shines	in	a	short	but	sweet	performance	as	a	recruiter	for	the	company	,	nicky	katt	is	fabulous	as	the	ostensibly	friendly	boss	who	eventually	becomes	extremely	jealous	of	seth	,	and	vin	diesel	gives	his	best	performance	of	his	career	as	the	foil	character	of	nicky	katt	.	the	energy	of	the	cast	as	a	whole	makes	boiler	room	well	paced	and	never	boring	.	the	only	major	error	in	the	film	is	that	nothing	major	happens	.	there	is	no	big	plot	twist	or	climatic	point	to	make	the	film	more	memorable	.	due	to	the	lack	of	a	major	event	,	boiler	room	never	finds	a	suitable	genre	to	fit	into	.	the	movie	is	not	intense	enough	to	be	a	thriller	,	the	romantic	segments	involving	seth	and	abby	(	nia	long	)	are	not	properly	finalized	,	and	the	dialogue	isn't	funny	enough	to	make	it	a	comedy	.	in	having	trouble	to	characterize	the	movie	as	a	whole	,	boiler	room	is	slightly	confused	at	times	.	it	doesn't	seem	to	know	which	category	to	fit	itself	into	.	one	satisfying	concluding	scene	could	have	changed	the	whole	film	for	the	better	.	otherwise	,	the	movie	is	fun	to	watch	thanks	to	its	lively	cast	of	young	actors	.
pos	richard	linklater's	"	slacker	,	"	made	in	1991	for	a	budget	of	only	23	,	000	,	immerses	itself	in	the	twentysomething	,	college	town	culture	of	austin	,	texas	.	most	of	these	characters	are	either	unemployed	or	work	jobs	that	are	apparently	too	menial	to	be	worth	mentioning	.	their	lifestyle	is	a	sort	of	passive	resistance	to	the	idea	that	people	should	go	out	and	actively	pursue	a	career	after	graduation	;	they	seem	content	to	sit	around	spouting	off	about	the	inadequacy	of	american	democracy	,	the	pervasiveness	of	slave	morality	,	the	subtle	messages	in	pop	culture	,	and	such	.	ask	them	what	they've	been	doing	lately	,	and	they'll	more	likely	than	not	reply	,	"	oh	,	you	know	,	just	hanging	out	.	"	linklater	uses	an	interesting	technique	to	examine	these	characters	:	the	camera	follows	one	person	for	a	few	minutes	,	then	someone	else	walks	by	and	the	camera	follows	that	person	,	who	walks	into	a	diner	just	as	another	person	is	walking	out	the	door	.	.	.	.	it's	certainly	a	lot	of	fun	listening	to	these	characters	talk	:	some	of	them	are	clearly	very	intelligent	and	have	some	genuinely	insightful	ideas	,	some	of	them	are	just	plain	weird	,	and	some	of	them	think	their	ideas	are	a	lot	more	profound	than	they	really	are	.	the	opening	monologue	,	delivered	by	linklater	himself	to	a	taxi	driver	,	tosses	around	ideas	about	alternate	realities	that	nicely	set	up	the	meandering	structure	of	the	film	.	other	characters	along	the	way	offer	observations	about	everything	from	dating	relationships	to	the	history	of	anarchist	philosophy	,	while	groups	of	pseudo	intellectuals	kick	around	ideas	about	the	nobility	of	sitting	around	and	doing	nothing	or	the	subtle	bribery	based	morality	in	"	scooby	doo	.	"	for	the	most	part	,	however	,	the	best	moments	are	the	ones	involving	the	slightly	unhinged	types	.	near	the	beginning	,	a	paranoid	man	follows	a	pedestrian	for	several	blocks	,	warning	him	about	government	conspiracies	involving	everything	from	global	warming	to	secret	colonization	of	mars	.	another	man	seems	to	be	collecting	televisions	,	keeping	at	least	fifteen	sets	running	at	the	same	time	and	playing	tapes	of	a	graduate	student	who	recorded	himself	having	a	nervous	breakdown	and	destroying	the	camera	.	and	in	a	scene	that	drew	a	big	laugh	from	everyone	present	when	i	saw	the	film	,	a	man	tries	to	achieve	closure	after	a	failed	relationship	by	reciting	poetry	on	a	bridge	and	then	throwing	a	typewriter	into	the	creek	below	.	the	only	problem	with	"	slacker	"	is	that	it	starts	to	run	out	of	steam	towards	the	end	.	since	linklater	only	spends	a	few	minutes	with	each	character	,	the	introduction	of	the	new	characters	gets	repetitive	after	a	while	.	there	are	only	so	many	times	you	can	hear	,	"	hey	,	what's	going	on	?	"	"	not	much	,	what	are	you	up	to	?	"	"	nothing	really	,	just	hanging	around	,	"	before	it	gets	on	your	nerves	;	the	film	might	well	have	benefited	from	a	slightly	slower	pace	and	a	little	bit	more	characterization	.	and	the	dialogue	in	the	second	half	of	the	film	is	by	and	large	not	quite	as	interesting	as	that	in	the	first	half	;	a	jfk	buff	,	for	example	,	seems	like	a	pale	imitation	of	the	previous	conspiracy	theorist	,	and	many	of	the	characters	just	generally	aren't	as	weird	or	unique	.	instead	of	depicting	a	city	populated	by	mostly	normal	people	and	then	showing	us	the	strangeness	that	we	might	not	have	noticed	at	first	,	linklater	shows	us	the	oddballs	first	,	then	stops	and	reminds	us	that	ordinary	people	live	there	too	.	"	slacker	"	is	a	good	film	and	a	wonderfully	offbeat	and	entertaining	comedy	,	whatever	its	flaws	,	and	its	status	as	a	cult	classic	is	well	deserved	.	i	just	can't	help	but	think	it	might	have	been	even	better	if	linklater	had	slowed	down	a	little	bit	and	filmed	these	scenes	in	reverse	order	.
pos	directed	by	dariush	mehrjui	.	cast	:	leila	hatami	,	ali	mosaffa	,	jamileh	sheikhi	,	amir	pievar	,	turan	mehrzad	,	mohammad	reza	sharifinia	,	shaqayeq	farahani	.	1999	125	minutes	opens	may	16	at	new	york's	cinema	village	;	may	21	in	la	)	.	iranian	;	in	farsi	with	english	subtitles	.	not	rated	(	equivalent	of	a	pg	13	for	adult	themes	)	.	reviewed	april	19	,	1999	.	the	thought	provoking	question	of	tradition	over	morals	is	the	subject	directly	at	the	core	of	"	leila	,	"	a	powerfully	articulated	and	subtle	drama	from	famous	iranian	director	dariush	mehrjui	,	that	is	his	first	motion	picture	in	a	prosperous	thirty	year	career	to	gain	u	.	s	.	distribution	,	thanks	to	first	run	features	.	although	unfamiliar	with	mehrjui's	previous	directing	efforts	,	perhaps	the	reason	for	this	is	that	,	while	the	predicament	at	hand	is	no	doubt	exclusive	to	its	own	country	,	the	heartbreaking	and	solely	truthful	emotions	of	the	characters	can	easily	be	understood	by	all	viewers	.	set	in	modern	day	iran	,	"	leila	"	begins	on	the	birthday	of	the	title	character	(	leila	hatami	)	,	after	a	brief	prologue	in	which	we	are	shown	the	first	encounter	between	leila	and	her	future	husband	,	reza	(	ali	mosaffa	)	.	as	leila	and	reza	set	off	to	visit	his	parents	,	and	then	hers	,	where	a	birthday	celebration	has	been	planned	,	things	seem	rosy	for	the	couple	on	the	outside	,	but	for	leila	,	life	isn't	quite	as	sweet	.	earlier	,	on	that	very	same	day	,	leila	had	gone	to	see	her	physician	,	and	has	ultimately	discovered	that	she	holds	very	little	chance	of	ever	conceiving	a	child	.	when	all	of	the	conditions	are	ruled	out	,	and	leila	passes	up	the	possibility	of	adoption	,	reza	firmly	and	lovingly	tells	her	that	he	married	her	,	and	doesn't	care	at	all	about	having	children	.	nonetheless	,	leila	is	ashamed	that	she	will	never	be	able	to	give	him	a	baby	,	which	is	the	societal	norm	,	and	her	self	esteem	is	not	helped	at	all	by	her	domineering	mother	in	law	(	jamileh	sheikhi	)	,	whose	hopes	to	carry	on	the	sacred	family	name	vanishes	once	hearing	the	news	(	reza	is	her	only	son	)	.	bluntly	explaining	to	leila	that	reza	has	always	wished	for	children	and	,	in	a	country	where	polygamy	is	an	accepted	tradition	,	she	suggests	that	he	take	a	second	wife	to	bear	a	child	with	.	leila	hesitantly	agrees	,	and	while	she	and	reza	are	able	to	shallowly	laugh	afterwards	about	the	hopeful	womens'	inadequacies	,	reza	finally	does	meet	a	woman	whom	he	claims	to	like	,	even	though	he	refuses	to	go	through	with	the	marriage	if	leila	doesn't	give	her	full	blessing	.	there	are	no	easy	answers	to	be	found	within	"	leila	,	"	a	film	that	thoughtfully	examines	the	central	character's	unfortunate	plight	,	as	well	as	the	inner	workings	of	leila	herself	,	told	through	matter	of	fact	narration	.	almost	completely	taken	over	by	her	own	shame	,	she	has	no	option	but	to	agree	to	her	forceful	mother	in	law's	requests	,	even	though	she	is	unsure	of	how	she	will	react	if	reza	really	does	end	up	marrying	another	woman	.	maybe	because	"	leila	"	is	from	iran	,	the	film	will	unquestionably	be	shocking	for	american	audiences	,	since	the	concept	of	polygamy	is	looked	upon	by	the	characters	as	a	more	or	less	everyday	occurrence	.	leila	,	however	,	is	unable	to	come	to	terms	with	the	idea	quite	as	easily	,	but	feels	it	is	her	duty	to	make	her	husband	happy	,	no	matter	what	the	circumstances	.	one	of	the	strongest	aspects	of	the	film	is	in	its	portrayal	of	the	relationship	between	leila	and	reza	,	who	married	only	three	months	after	their	first	meeting	,	but	obviously	love	each	other	very	deeply	.	it	is	this	relationship	that	is	the	key	ingredient	to	making	what	follows	the	opening	scenes	all	the	more	powerful	,	and	director	mehrjui	has	succeeded	just	about	as	well	as	possible	.	although	seemingly	unimportant	at	first	glance	,	an	early	sequence	where	leila	and	reza	are	eating	dinner	and	both	are	laughing	,	nearly	uncontrollably	,	actually	is	one	of	the	most	vital	moments	in	the	first	half	,	as	it	unmistakably	sets	the	boundary	for	their	unrequisite	love	for	one	another	.	ditto	for	another	scene	in	which	reza	gives	leila	a	large	stuffed	animal	for	her	birthday	,	and	then	reveals	a	beautiful	necklace	he	has	also	gotten	her	.	these	"	small	"	moments	are	the	perfect	contrast	for	the	solemn	,	outraging	sequences	in	the	latter	half	,	in	which	reza	drops	leila	off	at	the	side	of	a	busy	road	,	and	then	zooms	off	to	go	on	a	date	with	another	woman	.	left	there	to	ponder	her	quickly	diminishing	marriage	,	foolishly	unbeknownst	to	reza	,	leila	prays	each	time	that	the	date	will	not	go	well	,	so	she	will	be	able	to	keep	her	husband	to	herself	for	a	little	while	longer	.	refusing	to	stay	over	at	her	parent's	house	,	the	film	inevitably	leads	up	to	the	second	wedding	night	between	reza	and	another	woman	,	and	in	a	sequence	of	extraordinary	sorrow	and	potency	,	leila	finds	her	whole	being	emotionally	torn	apart	,	as	she	is	closed	up	in	an	upstairs	bedroom	as	the	marriage	proceedings	are	going	on	down	below	.	despite	her	initial	agreement	to	such	a	thing	,	leila	realizes	how	much	she	has	been	betrayed	by	reza	,	whom	she	believed	cared	for	her	as	much	as	she	did	of	him	.	sure	,	the	whole	second	marriage	was	his	mother's	idea	,	but	if	he	really	did	believe	what	he	initially	had	told	her	about	not	wanting	any	children	,	then	he	could	have	still	easily	backed	out	,	couldn't	he	?	in	the	pivotal	role	of	leila	,	who	appears	in	every	scene	,	leila	hatami	is	nothing	short	of	remarkable	,	injecting	her	character	with	an	equal	measure	of	startling	strength	,	unavoidable	vulnerability	,	and	utter	despair	.	unlike	most	american	films	,	in	which	everything	always	has	to	be	spelled	out	for	audiences	,	hatami	says	much	more	with	just	an	elusive	expression	on	her	face	than	could	possibly	have	been	conveyed	by	words	.	every	bit	a	perfect	match	for	hatami	is	ali	mosaffa	,	as	reza	,	a	man	who	,	i	believe	,	does	hold	an	unbreakable	bond	with	his	wife	,	but	is	too	naive	to	realize	what	he	will	be	doing	to	leila	if	he	marries	someone	else	.	for	all	of	its	strong	aspects	,	"	leila	"	isn't	a	perfect	film	.	on	a	technical	level	,	i	found	many	blatant	punctiation	and	spelling	mistakes	within	the	subtitles	that	need	to	be	fixed	.	and	concerning	the	plot	developments	,	the	final	five	minutes	ring	false	when	compared	with	everything	that	has	come	before	.	mehrjui's	decision	to	use	an	extremely	stylized	approach	to	the	ending	was	the	wrong	choice	,	particularly	in	his	almost	comedic	way	of	wrapping	up	the	character	of	the	spiteful	mother	in	law	,	played	memorably	by	jamileh	sheikhi	.	despite	these	minor	missteps	,	"	leila	"	is	an	important	motion	picture	that	should	definately	be	sought	out	upon	its	limited	may	16	release	at	new	york's	cinema	village	,	and	then	on	may	21	in	la	.	the	thought	provoking	questions	that	the	film	deals	with	is	balanced	evenly	with	its	uneasy	morales	,	and	when	the	climax	arrives	,	leila's	self	worth	is	startlingly	stripped	away	to	reveal	a	victim	led	into	complete	devastation	,	to	which	there	is	no	return	.	it's	difficult	to	not	consider	how	leila's	culminating	interior	demise	could	have	been	so	simply	avoided	,	had	the	other	characters	taken	a	second	out	of	their	own	selfish	lives	to	consider	what	leila	,	the	major	pawn	in	the	unforgivable	scheme	,	was	going	through	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	http	:	hometown	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	a
pos	starring	kyle	maclachlan	,	laura	dern	,	isabella	rossellini	,	dennis	hopper	,	george	dickerson	,	hope	lange	,	brad	dourif	,	jack	nance	,	and	dean	stockwell	.	david	lynch's	"	blue	velvet	"	begins	and	ends	with	colorful	,	bright	shots	of	flowers	and	happy	americans	mowing	their	lawns	in	a	seemingly	perfect	american	town	.	however	,	what	lies	inside	this	nominally	safe	atmosphere	is	a	"	strange	world	"	of	drug	dealers	,	sadists	,	and	murderers	.	the	opening	and	closing	shots	are	a	wonderful	contrast	to	the	rest	of	the	gloomy	,	disturbing	film	.	they	show	not	to	make	assumptions	from	first	glance	and	that	oddness	is	common	in	all	places	under	all	circumstances	.	odd	would	be	a	perfect	adjective	to	describe	this	film	,	its	characters	,	its	direction	,	and	its	story	.	thankfully	,	the	obscurity	that	"	blue	velvet	"	relies	on	is	enough	to	make	this	film	enjoyable	.	since	its	elements	are	so	originally	weird	,	you	never	know	what	will	happen	next	.	this	is	the	main	goal	of	a	movie	;	to	be	spontaneous	and	surprising	.	"	blue	velvet	"	miracuously	succeeds	at	this	even	though	it	contains	mediocre	acting	.	lynch	creates	such	a	hypnotic	world	that	it	is	hard	to	resist	his	style	of	story	telling	.	the	film	starts	off	with	the	discovery	of	a	severed	ear	by	a	college	boy	(	kyle	maclachlan	)	.	from	this	point	maclachlan	finds	himself	involved	with	a	lounge	singer	(	isabella	rossellinia	)	who	has	lost	her	son	and	husband	to	a	kidnapping	.	the	plot	is	much	more	detailed	than	the	aforementioned	and	this	is	what	makes	david	lynch's	story	telling	so	amazing	.	maclachlan	becomes	involved	in	a	forbidden	relationship	,	in	another	relationship	that	could	have	been	taken	straight	out	of	a	high	school	flick	,	and	he	is	put	into	the	shoes	of	a	drug	dealer	who	has	some	wild	adventures	with	some	wild	friends	.	through	these	multiple	stories	,	maclachlan	lives	multiple	lives	and	as	we	follow	maclachlan	,	we	are	introduced	to	a	variety	of	interesting	subplots	.	lynch	masterfully	builds	these	subplots	but	he	does	not	piece	them	all	together	in	the	very	end	and	make	a	convenient	crowd	pleasing	conclusion	.	instead	he	leaves	some	ambiguity	and	forces	those	curious	enough	to	get	the	real	meaning	to	watch	the	film	several	several	times	.	lynch	has	been	known	to	do	this	with	a	number	of	his	films	meaning	he	may	be	too	esoteric	for	some	hoping	to	get	a	hollywood	ending	where	the	good	guy	gets	the	girl	and	everything	turns	out	fine	.	however	,	for	fans	of	odd	difficult	indies	,	"	blue	velvet	"	could	be	just	what	they	are	looking	for	.	it	is	very	hard	to	discuss	"	blue	velvet	"	without	discussing	the	performance	of	dennis	hopper's	sadistic	frank	.	most	of	the	other	actors	in	the	film	were	not	very	memorable	.	kyle	maclachlan	lacked	one	important	aspect	for	his	role	,	a	personality	.	laura	dern	was	consistently	annoying	.	but	dennis	hopper	stole	every	scene	he	was	in	.	his	evil	character	was	just	plain	old	frightening	in	his	mannerisms	from	his	obsession	to	velvet	to	his	incessant	breathing	from	a	gas	mask	.	frank	is	a	character	that	comes	along	once	in	a	blue	moon	.	many	producers	know	this	and	have	inevitably	begun	to	typecast	hopper	as	the	bad	guy	.	just	like	his	villain	in	"	speed	"	,	hopper	is	over	the	edge	with	cursing	and	screaming	every	chance	he	has	to	speak	.	this	harshness	is	exactly	what	frank	is	,	so	weird	and	twisted	that	it	is	hard	not	to	look	at	him	,	even	if	he	theatens	you	to	look	away	.	"	blue	velvet	"	has	characters	and	stories	you	will	never	see	in	a	movie	again	.	for	this	sole	reason	it	is	recommended	.	but	also	see	it	to	admire	lynch's	obsession	to	avoid	the	norm	.	even	if	this	film	is	a	little	too	weird	for	you	,	it's	hard	not	to	congratulate	a	guy	for	trying	something	new	and	sticking	to	it	.
pos	this	film	is	based	on	the	campy	tv	show	from	the	1960's	under	the	same	appellation	.	mind	you	,	most	people	(	including	yours	truly	)	who	will	see	this	movie	will	not	have	seen	any	episodes	from	the	original	series	.	the	movie	is	really	a	stand	alone	in	that	regard	.	the	family	robinson	.	.	.	lost	in	space	.	plot	:	set	in	the	year	2058	,	the	family	robinson	is	chosen	to	sail	out	into	space	in	search	of	other	planets	that	might	contain	the	natural	resources	earth	needs	in	order	to	survive	its	future	.	a	colonization	process	,	if	you	will	.	they	are	joined	by	able	pilot	west	(	leblanc	)	,	and	evil	uninvited	stowaway	(	oldman	)	,	who	does	not	want	to	see	the	trip	conclude	on	a	successful	tip	.	eventually	,	their	trek	goes	awry	,	and	all	are	"	lost	in	space	"	.	"	how	do	get	back	to	earth	?	"	is	the	question	that	infests	the	rest	of	this	sci	fi	epic	.	critique	:	this	film	reminded	me	a	lot	of	the	fifth	element	(	6	.	5	10	)	from	the	summer	of	1997	.	it's	a	film	with	a	lot	of	flash	,	but	very	little	actual	substance	.	admittedly	,	there	isn't	an	annoying	character	like	chris	tucker	from	the	other	film	,	but	this	film	does	run	a	little	too	long	,	and	did	lose	me	in	regards	to	its	complex	time	travel	multi	dimensional	story	line	.	having	said	that	,	the	special	effects	in	this	movie	were	amazing	,	and	the	overall	look	and	feel	were	also	way	above	average	.	you	really	felt	like	you	were	in	the	future	,	and	riding	through	space	with	these	poor	souls	.	unfortunately	for	this	chosen	family	,	their	10	year	old	son	is	the	smartest	one	in	the	group	,	and	the	father	is	too	wrapped	up	in	his	work	to	notice	the	rest	of	his	family	(	ever	heard	that	one	before	?	yawn	!	)	.	the	acting	is	ok	,	and	i	was	especially	surprised	at	the	solid	performance	by	tv	friend's	matt	leblanc	who	shows	us	all	that	he's	definitely	more	than	just	a	pretty	face	.	on	the	down	side	,	the	family	riff	raff	that	cuts	through	most	of	the	picture	is	lame	and	time	consuming	(	even	though	we	gotta	give	them	credit	for	"	trying	"	to	develop	characters	in	a	sci	fi	pic	)	,	the	story	line	is	hard	to	follow	,	the	evil	character	in	the	movie	actually	tells	people	that	he's	"	evil	"	,	and	the	movie	goes	on	for	about	20	minutes	too	long	.	on	the	slick	side	,	many	of	the	special	effects	are	really	cool	(	the	sequence	in	which	the	family	is	"	paralyzed	"	during	the	hyper	drive	is	awesome	,	and	the	animated	monkey	that	joins	the	family	halfway	through	the	flic	is	mucho	cool	)	,	the	credit	presentation	at	the	end	of	the	film	is	slamming	,	and	the	adventures	that	they	fall	into	are	somewhat	thrilling	(	i	will	also	admit	that	"	somehow	"	they	got	me	to	semi	tear	up	near	the	conclusion	of	this	picture	.	.	.	.	very	odd	.	.	.	.	.	)	.	overall	,	if	you're	a	big	sci	fi	fan	,	check	this	movie	out	for	the	special	effects	and	challenging	narrative	,	and	if	you're	not	,	i	would	still	suggest	seeing	this	movie	,	but	then	you	could	probably	wait	until	it	comes	out	on	video	so	that	you	forward	past	some	of	the	boring	parts	.	little	known	facts	:	this	film	will	always	be	remembered	as	the	movie	that	knocked	titanic	(	7	10	)	out	of	the	top	spot	at	the	box	office	after	15	straight	weeks	at	number	one	.	garry	oldman	is	british	,	and	was	once	married	to	uma	thurman	for	about	six	months	.	mimi	rogers	was	tom	cruise's	first	wife	.	visit	joblo's	movie	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	a
pos	star	wars	:	episode	i	the	phantom	menace	reviewfor	more	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a	with	all	the	hype	that	star	wars	:	episode	1	the	phantom	menace	has	been	receiving	,	it	seems	almost	impossible	to	avoid	interest	in	seeing	the	film	.	the	movie	is	easily	the	most	anticipated	motion	picture	ever	,	with	a	marketing	campaign	so	strong	it	has	brought	colonel	sanders	,	the	taco	bell	chihuahua	and	pizza	hut	together	.	can	george	lucas	succeed	yet	again	with	transporting	us	back	a	long	time	ago	,	in	a	galaxy	far	,	far	away	.	.	.	.	?	yes	.	this	star	wars	prequel	may	be	the	worst	of	the	bunch	,	with	amateurish	dialogue	and	an	overall	lack	of	humanity	.	but	that	doesn't	mean	it	fails	to	comply	on	the	basis	of	solid	entertainment	.	the	phantom	menace	features	the	most	eye	catching	,	jaw	dropping	visual	look	in	cinematic	history	.	the	tremendous	action	sequences	will	have	you	clinging	to	your	arm	rest	,	and	the	special	effects	are	nothing	short	of	the	best	(	and	most	plentiful	)	to	ever	be	caught	on	film	.	the	vast	digitized	worlds	and	sheer	imagination	that	was	applied	to	this	project	is	astounding	.	the	phantom	menace	is	a	delectable	feast	for	the	senses	,	even	if	it	has	some	disappointing	aspects	.	after	we're	treated	to	the	famous	prologue	in	the	sky	,	with	john	williams'	thundering	score	,	we	meet	qui	gon	jonn	(	liam	neeson	)	and	young	obi	wan	kenobi	(	ewan	mcgregor	)	,	a	jedi	master	and	his	trainee	padawan'	.	they	are	on	the	ship	accommodating	the	fleet	headquarters	for	the	evil	trade	federation	,	and	have	been	sent	to	settle	disputes	regarding	the	taxation	of	trade	routes	to	the	planet	of	naboo	.	oh	,	but	enough	about	that	.	the	prime	concern	for	this	prequel	is	introducing	young	anakin	skywalker	(	jake	lloyd	)	into	the	picture	.	as	you	already	know	,	this	seemingly	charming	lad	is	the	boy	who	will	soon	become	darth	vader	.	a	spectacular	pod	race	comes	soon	hereafter	.	this	particular	race	is	the	most	exciting	,	energetic	,	high	octane	action	sequence	that	you'll	ever	see	.	one	of	the	delights	of	the	series	is	meeting	the	newest	set	of	strange	alien	creatures	that	lucas	has	devised	,	and	the	phantom	menace	is	no	exception	.	i	loved	sebulba	,	the	rat	like	scoundrel	whom	anakin	has	to	face	in	the	pod	race	,	and	boss	nass	,	the	leader	of	the	gungans	(	who	are	a	neighbouring	species	to	naboo	)	.	one	character	who	has	been	subject	to	criticism	is	jar	jar	binks	,	a	member	of	the	gungan	race	.	jar	jar	speaks	like	roger	rabbit	on	a	hallucinogenic	drug	,	and	is	there	for	the	sole	purpose	of	supplying	comic	relief	.	yes	,	he	is	initially	annoying	,	but	i	can	admit	to	laughing	over	some	of	his	harmless	,	goofy	antics	.	there	is	some	lack	of	dramatic	pull	in	this	star	wars	entry	,	but	the	presentation	almost	makes	you	forget	the	plot	and	character	lapses	.	the	final	light	saber	battle	,	between	the	jedi's	and	the	horrific	(	and	terminally	underused	)	villain	darth	maul	,	is	spectacular	to	behold	.	jabba	the	hutt	,	yoda	,	c	3po	and	r2	d2	have	cameo	appearances	.	lucas	has	not	forget	how	to	captivate	an	audience	,	even	if	his	latest	shows	obvious	signs	of	tiredness	.	one	can	only	wonder	what	the	possible	technology	will	present	for	the	next	two	installments	,	episode's	i	and	ii	.	when	they	arrive	,	you'll	know	where	to	find	me	.
pos	wild	things	(	1998	)	rated	r	for	strong	sexuality	,	nudity	,	language	and	violence	.	out	of	4	stars	:	1	2	(	3	1	2	stars	)	starring	:	kevin	bacon	,	matt	dillon	,	neve	campbell	,	denise	richards	,	theresa	russell	,	daphne	rubin	vega	as	much	as	i	wanted	to	like	this	film	as	i	went	into	it	,	the	more	pleased	i	was	when	i	left	.	first	,	getting	through	all	the	usual	lines	of	newspaper	glitz	:	"	if	you	liked	scream	,	you'll	love	wild	things	!	"	"	campbell	gives	a	stunning	performance	!	"	"	this	twisty	plot	will	have	you	dazzled	for	days	!	"	(	oh	yeah	,	the	day	a	newspaper	uses	these	is	the	day	neve	campbell	falls	in	love	with	me	)	now	,	onto	more	serious	stuff	(	and	with	this	film	,	i	mean	that	in	nearly	a	sarcastic	way	)	.	wild	things	has	single	handedly	broken	down	the	rules	surrounding	the	r	rating	from	the	mpaa	.	i'm	not	saying	that	in	a	bad	way	,	but	when	you	see	this	film	,	you	may	be	shocked	by	what	you	see	.	however	,	perhaps	the	mpaa	was	pleased	by	the	film's	charming	cast	and	tricky	plot	,	that	they	let	the	film	slide	with	an	r	rating	.	being	mormon	,	i'm	bound	to	hear	an	uproar	from	religious	zealots	warning	me	not	to	see	the	film	.	trouble	is	,	i	have	already	seen	it	.	and	i	like	it	!	wild	things	is	a	film	noir	of	the	90s	,	filled	with	40s	sensibilities	,	and	yet	breaking	the	rules	and	modern	day	taboos	of	90s	culture	.	the	style	in	which	it	is	filmed	is	rich	in	color	.	the	actors	are	all	gorgeous	people	,	seemingly	drawn	from	the	same	gene	pool	and	placed	into	this	film	.	sure	,	it's	all	too	good	to	be	true	,	but	ain't	it	fun	to	watch	?	when	movies	like	this	come	along	(	sort	of	a	better	version	of	basic	instinct	)	there	is	bound	to	be	people	who	either	love	it	or	hate	it	.	there	will	be	people	who	don't	want	to	admit	liking	what	they	see	,	but	i	tell	you	,	most	anyone	who	sees	this	will	like	it	.	wild	things	begins	at	blue	bay	high	school	,	the	one	high	school	in	the	world	that	any	teenager	would	love	to	get	into	.	it's	almost	as	if	students	are	put	through	entrance	exams	just	for	admittance	(	totally	based	on	looks	alone	)	.	of	course	,	there	are	those	select	few	who	may	look	slightly	ugly	,	but	compared	to	the	average	person	,	they	are	gorgeous	.	immediately	,	the	film	finds	its	tone	and	the	audience	settles	in	for	an	enjoyable	time	.	we	can	turn	off	our	brains	,	right	?	wrong	.	while	you	may	be	expecting	one	thing	to	happen	,	it	certainly	doesn't	turn	out	that	way	.	the	film	begins	in	a	classroom	,	with	nearly	all	the	main	characters	present	.	there's	sam	lombardo	(	matt	dillon	)	,	a	counselor	for	the	students	.	he's	heading	the	class	discussion	.	there's	also	kelly	van	ryan	(	denise	richards	)	,	a	snobby	rich	teen	who	has	fallen	in	love	with	sam	.	teaching	the	class	,	however	,	are	two	policemen	:	ray	duquette	(	kevin	bacon	)	and	gloria	perez	(	daphne	rubin	vega	)	,	who	want	to	talk	about	'sex	.	.	.	(	cheers	)	crimes	(	boos	)	'	.	"	what	is	a	sex	crime	?	"	ray	asks	.	"	not	gettin'	any	!	"	one	student	responds	.	this	pretty	much	sets	the	tone	of	the	film	we	are	about	to	watch	.	however	,	upon	hearing	this	,	one	student	,	suzie	toller	(	neve	campbell	)	,	stands	up	and	leaves	the	room	,	commenting	that	they	can	both	kiss	part	of	her	body	.	and	so	,	wild	things	sets	into	motion	.	quickly	,	kelly	begins	hitting	on	sam	,	but	sam	doesn't	want	anything	to	do	with	her	advances	.	kelly	is	stubborn	and	continues	to	pursue	him	.	she	even	pleads	with	him	to	let	her	wash	his	jeep	.	surprisingly	,	that's	really	all	i	can	tell	you	about	the	plot	.	any	more	would	give	away	one	of	the	many	crucial	plot	twists	.	and	what's	more	,	these	plot	twists	are	actually	unpredictable	.	going	along	the	way	of	scream	,	wild	things	maintains	that	film's	surprises	,	and	then	adds	even	more	to	them	.	there	are	more	plot	twists	in	this	film	than	probably	any	i	have	ever	seen	.	and	even	though	you	think	you	may	get	tired	of	them	,	the	surprises	are	so	genuine	that	it's	rather	pleasing	.	going	back	over	them	in	my	mind	,	nearly	all	of	them	work	,	though	some	stretch	the	boundaries	of	belief	.	thankfully	,	the	convoluted	plot	doesn't	give	us	much	time	to	think	about	each	one	,	pouncing	yet	another	twist	on	us	before	the	shock	of	the	previous	one	has	worn	off	.	as	for	the	critics	who	complain	that	the	film	is	trashy	well	,	it	is	.	this	is	pretty	much	just	one	trashy	film	.	however	,	it	is	the	kind	of	trashy	that	isn't	hard	to	watch	.	it's	good	trash	,	in	a	sense	.	one	,	the	screenplay	knows	that	it's	not	to	be	taken	seriously	,	and	it	includes	a	lot	of	humor	and	satire	into	the	story	.	this	varies	everywhere	from	kelly's	mother	(	theresa	russell	)	,	who	is	more	of	a	caricature	of	rich	people	,	all	the	way	to	an	ambulance	chasing	lawyer	(	bill	murray	)	,	who	wears	a	neck	brace	to	cover	an	insurance	scam	he	is	running	.	bill	murray	also	provides	the	best	character	in	the	film	,	and	most	of	the	genuine	laughs	.	and	two	,	the	sex	is	more	than	gratuitous	,	although	not	unwelcomed	.	wild	things	is	supposed	to	have	sex	in	it	(	what	film	with	that	title	wouldn't	?	)	,	and	this	movie	breaks	the	boundaries	.	instead	of	having	heterosexual	sex	scenes	,	it	also	includes	lesbian	scenes	between	denise	richards	and	neve	campbell	(	don't	worry	.	.	.	it's	not	as	graphic	as	you	might	think	)	.	the	heterosexual	scenes	are	quite	graphic	,	but	the	surprise	shocker	is	kevin	bacon's	full	frontal	nude	scene	.	it's	very	brief	,	so	if	you	blink	,	you	may	miss	(	ahem	)	it	.	and	,	for	as	long	as	i	can	remember	,	i	don't	think	i	have	seen	an	r	rated	film	show	an	erect	one	before	(	it's	not	completely	,	but	judging	from	the	audiences'	reaction	,	it	was	more	than	they	expected	too	)	.	also	,	during	one	scene	late	in	the	film	,	there	seemed	to	be	a	relationship	brewing	between	bacon	and	dillon's	characters	,	but	nothing	came	of	it	(	makes	you	wonder	if	the	director	had	to	cut	it	in	order	for	the	r	rating	,	or	if	the	actors	refused	to	do	it	)	.	what	first	made	me	want	to	see	wild	things	was	its	cast	.	neve	campbell	,	of	course	,	has	been	one	of	my	favorite	actresses	since	the	scream	films	were	released	.	here	,	however	,	she	turns	every	typical	role	she	has	done	on	its	head	and	plays	a	gothic	pothead	.	the	closest	role	to	this	was	her	performance	in	the	craft	(	though	even	in	that	she	was	a	nice	girl	)	.	campbell	is	probably	the	best	in	the	film	and	shows	her	wide	range	of	talent	.	you	can	tell	she	will	be	around	for	a	long	time	.	denise	richards	will	also	be	around	for	a	long	time	,	although	she	may	be	limited	to	the	roles	without	much	range	.	here	,	she	gets	to	express	more	emotions	than	in	her	stiff	(	yet	effective	)	performance	in	starship	troopers	.	hopefully	one	day	she	will	land	a	very	good	role	that	can	display	her	ability	.	and	then	there	is	daphne	rubin	vega	,	a	newcomer	to	the	movies	.	she	gives	a	very	good	performance	,	although	her	character	is	mostly	left	to	the	background	for	the	first	hour	and	a	half	.	towards	the	end	she	does	get	a	bigger	part	.	on	the	male	side	,	matt	dillon	is	probably	the	best	,	giving	a	subtle	performance	that	surprises	with	every	twist	.	kevin	bacon	has	a	slightly	wooden	character	,	but	he	makes	the	most	of	it	.	you	must	have	admiration	,	though	,	for	what	he	did	on	screen	.	and	judging	from	many	of	the	women's	reactions	in	the	theater	to	that	shot	,	they	have	grown	a	deeper	appreciation	for	bacon	(	yeah	,	right	)	.	and	then	there	is	bill	murray	.	his	performance	is	the	comic	relief	,	and	he	nearly	steals	the	film	.	as	a	whole	,	the	entire	cast	works	wondrously	together	,	and	they	seem	at	home	,	even	when	doing	the	menage	a	troi	.	director	john	mcnaughton	,	who	has	previously	done	the	critically	acclaimed	henry	:	portrait	of	a	serial	killer	,	has	constructed	a	wonderfully	twisty	plot	that	works	.	his	direction	is	smooth	and	stylish	.	the	visuals	are	striking	,	filled	with	rich	colors	,	and	almost	so	realistic	that	we	can	actually	breathe	the	humidity	in	the	air	.	however	,	he	seems	more	at	home	when	the	actors	aren't	talking	.	his	fly	by	shots	of	the	swampy	areas	are	brilliant	,	and	his	photography	of	denise	richards'	climbing	out	of	the	pool	is	a	highlight	.	the	cinematography	is	gorgeous	in	its	details	.	its	not	often	that	you	see	a	film	like	this	,	and	we	should	watch	it	just	to	see	how	the	camera	can	take	pictures	.	then	,	there	is	the	music	.	this	was	probably	the	most	obvious	thing	to	me	,	as	it	set	the	perfect	mood	for	the	film	.	it's	hard	to	describe	in	words	,	so	just	see	the	film	and	listen	to	it	.	it's	wonderfully	composed	and	presented	.	and	be	sure	to	stick	around	during	the	closing	credits	!	mcnaughton	has	finally	put	the	ending	credits	to	good	use	(	while	most	comedies	use	it	for	outtakes	)	.	he	has	included	some	small	scenes	which	help	explain	the	preceding	events	.	some	may	say	that	these	are	lame	attempts	to	explain	the	convoluted	plot	,	but	it's	an	entertaining	way	to	finish	the	film	.	plus	,	there	are	some	shocking	moments	in	these	ending	credits	which	just	add	to	the	fun	.	wild	things	is	appropriately	rated	r	for	strong	sexuality	,	nudity	,	language	and	violence	.	again	,	the	nudity	is	rather	unnecessary	,	but	let's	face	it	people	want	to	see	it	.	so	why	not	give	it	to	them	?	neve	campbell	,	admirably	,	has	a	no	nudity	clause	in	her	contract	,	and	the	most	you	see	of	her	is	from	behind	as	she	takes	her	top	off	(	way	to	go	,	neve	!	)	.	the	sex	scenes	are	graphic	,	especially	the	first	one	we	see	,	between	the	mother	and	one	of	her	deck	hands	.	one	almost	wonders	how	they	got	away	with	the	r	rating	.	the	language	is	quite	harsh	too	,	ranging	from	sexual	innuendo	to	your	average	,	everyday	profanity	.	and	i	can't	stress	it	enough	:	don't	allow	kids	under	18	to	see	this	film	.	the	target	age	for	the	movie	is	the	18	24	range	,	and	that's	who	should	see	it	.	it's	definitely	not	for	those	under	18	!	did	i	mention	that	this	film	is	rated	r	?	however	,	for	those	that	do	get	a	chance	to	watch	it	,	you	will	probably	more	likely	be	pleased	,	and	may	even	take	friends	to	see	it	the	next	time	.	reviewed	by	respect	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	respect	aros	.	net	"	respect	aros	.	net	a	)	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	aros	.	net	respect	movies	.	html	a
pos	starring	tom	hanks	,	meg	ryan	,	parker	posey	,	greg	kinnear	,	steve	zahn	"	you've	got	mail	"	is	the	very	definition	of	a	"	cute	"	movie	.	it's	got	cute	stars	,	a	cute	story	line	,	and	even	cute	pets	.	despite	this	over	whelming	cuteness	(	or	maybe	because	of	it	)	,	i	loved	"	you've	got	mail	"	.	i	know	,	i	know	.	i'm	supposed	to	be	a	film	critic	.	i'm	not	supposed	to	love	transparent	and	formula	pictures	like	this	.	but	darn	it	,	somewhere	along	the	way	,	"	you've	got	mail	"	reeled	me	in	,	hook	,	line	,	and	sinker	.	the	movie	stars	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	as	two	somewhat	unhappy	new	yorkers	who	meet	in	an	aol	online	chat	room	and	quickly	become	close	friends	,	without	ever	knowing	each	others	identity	.	as	the	movie	progresses	,	though	,	they	begin	to	discover	that	they	have	a	lot	in	common	with	each	other	.	meanwhile	,	in	"	real	life	"	,	they	are	bitter	competitors	.	she	owns	a	quaint	little	children's	bookstore	,	he	owns	one	of	those	gigantic	super	bookstores	that	offer	impersonal	service	and	discount	prices	.	while	his	store	threatens	to	run	her	store	out	of	business	,	their	online	relationship	grows	stronger	.	"	you've	got	mail	"	is	as	artificial	as	movies	come	.	everything	is	nice	and	happy	and	by	the	end	,	all	the	characters	have	gotten	exactly	what	they	wanted	out	of	life	.	there	are	no	real	conflicts	,	no	major	disappointments	,	no	unresolved	issues	.	nevertheless	,	i	quite	enjoyed	it	.	in	fact	,	i	can't	remember	the	last	time	i	had	such	a	good	time	at	the	movies	.	i	think	sometimes	you	have	to	be	able	to	watch	a	movie	and	just	get	drawn	into	it	.	the	fact	that	stars	hank	and	ryan	are	at	the	top	of	their	game	does	not	hurt	either	.	in	particular	,	hanks	is	at	his	best	here	,	turning	his	"	charm	meter	"	up	to	11	.	everytime	he	was	on	screen	,	he	had	my	full	attention	.	and	despite	the	fact	that	he	was	driving	little	bookstores	out	of	business	,	i	was	rooting	for	him	.	it	was	good	to	see	hanks	back	doing	what	he	does	best	:	playing	the	affable	everyman	.	"	you've	got	mail	"	certainly	won't	be	winning	any	awards	,	but	as	an	exercise	in	pure	entertainment	,	it's	as	good	as	it	gets	.
pos	the	ring	is	probably	one	of	the	creepiest	movies	i've	seen	in	years	.	but	then	again	,	i've	always	had	this	phobia	of	asian	born	horror	films	.	i	remember	when	i	was	a	kid	i	was	scared	as	hell	with	those	green	faced	,	long	haired	floating	ghosts	donning	their	white	gowns	euuugh	.	the	ring	really	brings	back	those	memories	and	its	grips	me	long	after	the	movie	has	ended	.	unlike	the	horror	films	coming	from	the	west	,	i'm	pretty	much	used	to	the	gore	and	visual	effects	,	so	much	so	,	they	become	rather	bland	nowadays	.	there's	really	no	scary	movie	from	the	west	for	a	long	time	.	if	you	have	something	in	mind	,	please	tell	me	.	this	japanese	flick	is	supposed	to	be	based	upon	stories	written	by	the	stephen	king	of	japan'	,	which	is	also	(	i	heard	)	televised	over	the	air	in	japan	.	the	film	revolves	around	a	mysterious	videotape	which	will	bring	death	for	sure	to	the	person	who	watches	it	,	one	week	prior	to	viewing	.	a	journalist	and	her	husband	,	stupid	enough	,	tests	the	so	call	urban	legend'	and	ends	up	having	a	week	before	she	meets	her	doom	.	she	and	her	husband	then	goes	on	a	search	for	the	origin	of	the	videocassette	,	to	get	to	the	root	of	the	whole	curse	with	the	hopes	of	freeing	themselves	.	the	ring	plays	on	the	senses	like	no	other	horror	film	today	.	visual	subtlety	,	minimal	music	and	an	intriguing	plot	puts	the	audience	within	an	aura	of	suspense	throughout	the	entire	film	.	very	well	done	indeed	,	especially	for	a	film	that	does	not	have	a	single	trace	of	violence	and	gore	.	now	,	that	s	something	budding	horror	film	maker	wannabes	should	consider	looking	into	.	just	an	idea	of	how	visually	powerful	the	film	is	,	it	is	in	japanese	and	subtitled	in	chinese	;	both	of	which	,	i	can't	understand	at	all	(	ok	,	i	had	a	friend	who	gave	me	a	gist	prior	to	watching	,	but	he	revealed	very	little	!	)	.	the	twists	in	the	plot	,	leading	to	an	unforgettable	climax	(	will	definitely	leave	an	impression	on	the	audience	)	will	have	you	at	the	edge	of	your	seat	.
pos	the	presence	(	1992	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1999	justin	felix	.	any	comments	about	this	review	?	contact	me	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	"	justinfelix	yahoo	.	com	a	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	written	by	william	bleich	.	directed	by	tommy	lee	wallace	.	starring	gary	graham	,	kathy	ireland	,	and	june	lockhart	.	rated	pg	13	(	contains	violence	)	97	mins	.	synopsis	:	a	whole	bunch	of	people	flee	an	unspecified	country	and	an	unspecified	skirmish	in	a	plane	.	they	crashland	near	an	unspecified	island	,	where	they	discover	that	an	unspecified	group	of	scientists	working	for	unspecified	employers	have	experimented	with	biological	weapons	.	comments	:	even	though	the	presence	is	packaged	as	a	real	movie	with	a	real	movie	rating	(	pg	13	)	,	it	becomes	patently	obvious	early	on	that	this	is	a	made	for	tv	movie	,	and	if	you	stick	around	until	the	end	of	the	credits	,	you'll	discover	that	nbc	was	responsible	for	this	fluff	.	it's	not	bad	fluff	really	,	as	far	as	cheesy	science	fiction	and	tv	movies	go	.	corny	dialogue	and	poor	acting	are	plentiful	,	so	you'll	have	lots	to	laugh	at	.	if	not	,	the	creature	at	the	end	of	the	film	will	make	you	chuckle	:	a	slow	moving	guy	in	a	rubber	suit	slightly	reminiscent	of	the	gill	man	in	the	1950s	classic	creature	from	the	black	lagoon	.	as	i	said	,	this	is	nbc's	version	of	a	science	fiction	thriller	,	and	what	a	version	it	is	!	the	presence	opens	with	bikini	clad	supermodels	who	read	shakespeare's	the	tempest	during	a	photo	shoot	in	what	is	apparently	a	war	zone	.	most	of	the	film	takes	place	on	a	giant	island	with	huge	research	facilities	which	haven't	been	touched	since	the	mid	1970s	and	some	sort	of	native	tribe	who	,	despite	their	primitive	ways	,	can	produce	supermodels	with	surprisingly	well	conditioned	hair	.	and	through	it	all	,	an	aged	june	lockhart	(	from	the	old	lost	in	space	tv	series	)	stands	around	and	offers	to	make	coffee	.	this	is	a	very	,	very	bad	movie	,	but	a	fairly	fun	and	funny	b	movie	.	wipe	the	dust	off	this	box	at	your	local	video	store	and	check	it	out	.
pos	release	date	:	february	19	,	1999	starring	:	jake	gyllenhaal	,	laura	dern	,	chris	owen	,	william	lee	scott	,	chad	lindberg	,	chris	cooper	,	natalie	canerday	directed	by	:	joe	johnston	distributed	by	:	universal	pictures	mpaa	rating	:	pg	(	language	,	brief	teen	sensuality	and	alcohol	use	,	some	thematic	elements	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	october	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	october	.	htm	a	since	1990	,	the	dramatic	picture	has	undergone	a	certain	change	of	style	.	now	,	instead	of	emphasizing	feel	good	stories	replete	with	characters	of	noble	virtues	,	the	screenplays	and	direction	point	toward	human	struggle	and	sorrow	.	this	realist	tendancy	can	be	inspiring	at	times	,	as	1993's	schindler's	list	shows	.	most	of	today's	mainstream	drama	,	however	,	creates	an	overabundance	of	emoting	that	can	turn	off	members	of	the	audience	.	that's	why	pictures	like	october	sky	,	which	are	a	throwback	to	the	good	ol'	dramas	of	yesteryear	,	are	such	a	welcome	relief	in	contemporary	cinema	.	the	movie	is	based	on	the	true	story	of	homer	hickam	(	jake	gyllenhaal	)	,	a	teenager	in	the	1950's	company	town	of	coalwood	,	west	virginia	.	it's	a	well	known	fact	that	the	only	boys	to	make	a	name	for	themselves	are	the	ones	that	get	out	of	the	town	on	football	scholarships	;	the	rest	grow	up	to	work	in	the	coal	mine	.	the	mine	,	which	is	run	by	homer's	father	(	chris	cooper	)	,	is	not	the	place	for	homer	,	however	.	after	watching	the	soviet	satellite	sputnik	shoot	across	the	october	sky	in	1957	,	homer	feels	a	connection	with	the	outside	world	as	he	puts	it	,	"	anyone	in	the	world	could	look	up	and	see	the	same	thing	i	did	.	"	drafting	two	of	his	best	friends	and	the	brainiac	outcast	,	homer	begins	to	construct	rockets	.	with	the	help	of	their	history	teacher	,	miss	riley	(	laura	dern	)	,	and	several	mine	workers	,	the	four	are	soon	bound	for	great	things	.	october	sky	is	a	skillfully	crafted	film	,	and	most	of	that	credit	must	go	to	director	joe	johnston	.	johnston	whose	career	in	the	film	industry	includes	everything	from	directing	well	known	titles	like	jumanji	and	the	rocketeer	down	to	an	uncredited	role	as	a	death	star	trooper	in	star	wars	certainly	knows	what	he's	doing	here	.	he	molds	characters	which	are	true	to	life	and	also	fun	to	watch	into	a	plot	that	is	straightforward	and	robust	.	he	does	not	push	any	barriers	,	but	instead	adopts	a	conservative	style	of	filmmaking	which	enhances	the	film's	charm	.	his	finesse	brings	out	elements	which	might	otherwise	be	lost	such	as	the	relationships	between	homer	and	various	mine	workers	,	or	the	silent	struggle	between	homer's	mother	and	father	.	the	cast	is	well	chosen	,	although	the	true	bright	spots	are	the	supporting	roles	.	laura	dern	(	jurassic	park	)	lends	a	strong	performance	in	the	role	of	the	history	teacher	,	giving	the	boys	the	support	and	guidance	they	need	.	her	role	is	instantly	likeable	.	chris	cooper	(	the	horse	whisperer	)	,	as	homer's	father	,	is	less	likeable	even	downright	despicable	at	times	but	his	turn	here	gives	gravity	to	the	movie	.	he's	definitely	a	driving	force	in	homer's	life	,	and	his	more	humane	moments	give	the	piece	a	certain	dynamic	that	is	commendable	.	the	script	is	generally	cheerful	,	projecting	the	boys'	endeavors	in	a	lighthearted	manner	.	there	are	moments	when	it	becomes	predictable	such	as	the	train	tracks	scene	and	there	are	moments	when	it	sacrifices	orginality	for	the	need	to	come	up	with	an	emotional	plot	twist	.	it	highlights	the	essence	of	youth	,	however	,	and	for	its	exceptional	job	at	this	it	can	be	forgiven	other	missteps	.	october	sky	should	be	a	success	with	audiences	.	although	it	doesn't	have	the	appeal	of	current	teen	flicks	like	varsity	blues	or	she's	all	that	,	it	certainly	holds	an	undeniable	quality	that	older	crowds	will	lean	towards	.	it's	a	welcome	change	to	the	dramatic	genre	,	and	one	that	everyone	should	see	.
pos	54	reviewed	by	jamie	peck	hr	rating	:	(	out	of	)	miramax	1	:	32	1998	r	(	language	,	sexuality	,	drug	use	,	brief	nudity	)	cast	:	ryan	phillippe	;	salma	hayek	;	mike	myers	;	breckin	meyer	;	sela	ward	;	neve	campbell	;	sherry	stringfield	;	ellen	dow	;	heather	matarazzo	;	lauren	hutton	director	:	mark	christopher	screenplay	:	mark	christopher	hr	for	a	movie	about	disco	era	excess	,	"	54	"	comes	up	surprisingly	short	on	the	sleazy	happenings	at	the	titular	late	1970s	and	early	1980s	manhattan	dance	club	.	think	of	it	as	a	sort	of	"	boogie	nights	"	lite	where	that	similarly	structured	and	set	portrayal	of	the	porn	industry	was	loaded	with	salacious	goings	on	and	skidded	on	a	destructive	midpoint	tone	shift	,	"	54	"	leaves	the	kinkier	details	to	your	imagination	.	it	never	needlessly	revels	in	its	seedy	subject	matter	,	but	it	thankfully	never	resorts	to	preaching	,	either	.	in	fact	,	were	it	not	for	the	rampant	drug	use	and	the	intermittent	dark	moment	,	"	54	"	would	be	about	as	feathery	as	the	time	period's	popular	female	hairstyle	.	studio	54	was	a	haven	for	the	rich	,	famous	and	generally	good	looking	before	it	closed	its	doors	forever	in	1986	.	inside	,	anything	went	and	,	we	are	told	,	everything	did	.	the	film's	fictional	main	character	is	shane	o'shea	(	ryan	phillippe	,	the	jerky	jock	from	"	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	"	)	,	a	fresh	faced	19	year	old	who	dreams	of	venturing	beyond	the	club's	velvet	rope	and	coming	face	to	face	with	the	wild	decadence	he	can	only	read	about	in	magazines	.	his	wish	comes	true	when	studio	54	owner	steve	rubell	(	mike	myers	)	spots	him	amongst	a	crowd	of	gawkers	one	night	in	'79	and	permits	him	passage	but	not	before	he	doffs	his	hideous	shirt	,	of	course	.	once	inside	,	shane	becomes	seduced	by	the	club's	dizzying	vortex	of	sex	and	drugs	.	he	has	such	a	good	time	that	he	doesn't	want	to	leave	,	so	he	seeks	employment	as	a	busboy	.	he	quickly	becomes	friends	with	greg	(	breckin	meyer	)	and	anita	(	salma	hayek	)	,	a	married	couple	who	work	along	side	of	him	;	greg's	a	fellow	busboy	with	aspirations	to	make	the	big	money	as	a	studio	54	bartender	,	while	anita	checks	coats	but	desires	a	recording	contract	to	call	her	own	.	after	rubbing	elbows	(	among	other	things	)	with	a	renowned	socialite	(	sela	ward	)	and	gaining	the	personal	interest	of	rubell	,	shane	begins	to	ascend	to	the	upper	echelons	of	54	.	but	fame	doesn't	come	without	a	price	.	"	54	"	's	major	shortcomings	lie	within	its	handling	of	the	supporting	players	at	a	slim	hour	and	a	half	,	the	film	is	too	short	to	take	on	such	a	multi	character	focus	,	and	more	than	a	few	balls	are	dropped	in	the	resulting	juggling	act	.	alleged	last	minute	edits	and	reshoots	are	more	than	likely	to	blame	for	the	occasionally	rushed	development	and	ambiguous	interaction	,	since	"	54	"	sometimes	feels	like	it's	missing	a	scene	here	or	there	.	nowhere	is	this	more	apparent	than	in	shane's	relationship	with	soap	opera	actress	julie	black	(	neve	campbell	)	,	a	frequent	studio	54	patron	whom	he's	long	admired	from	afar	.	the	romance	is	prodded	along	before	it	has	a	chance	to	transform	into	something	special	.	that	"	54	"	works	despite	these	limitations	,	then	,	is	largely	due	to	the	competence	and	energy	with	which	it's	assembled	.	sure	,	it's	shallow	,	slick	,	sanitized	portrait	of	a	bygone	age	,	and	sure	,	we've	seen	the	rags	to	riches	story	gazillions	of	times	,	but	debut	director	and	screenwriter	mark	christopher	keeps	things	moving	with	lively	snapshots	of	the	studio	54	hustle	and	bustle	and	an	even	livelier	cast	to	inhabit	his	bouncy	vision	.	the	film	boasts	some	fine	comic	creativity	,	the	pinnacle	of	which	is	disco	dottie	(	"	the	wedding	singer	"	's	ellen	dow	)	,	an	elderly	dancing	queen	who	plays	the	loving	grandmother	in	public	,	but	slides	up	to	shane	behind	54's	closed	doors	and	asks	for	a	"	funky	little	treat	.	"	the	solid	,	sexy	cast	smooths	out	if	only	while	you're	caught	up	in	the	film	any	rough	spots	belonging	to	their	alter	egos	or	the	plot	.	newcomer	phillippe	has	the	charisma	and	joisey	accent	down	pat	;	he	and	campbell	,	as	fetching	as	ever	,	look	so	good	together	it's	a	shame	their	subplot	goes	nowhere	.	meyer	exhibits	the	congenial	appeal	that	made	him	a	delight	to	watch	in	"	clueless	"	(	he	was	the	stoner	with	the	joker	smile	)	,	while	hayek	simply	sizzles	,	especially	when	leading	a	dance	class	with	the	mantra	,	"	one	,	two	,	three	,	attitude	!	"	sherry	stringfield	,	unidentifiable	under	big	'70s	hair	,	takes	on	her	first	big	screen	gig	since	she	left	"	er	"	as	rubell's	accountant	,	but	she's	criminally	underused	.	as	the	droopy	eyed	,	drug	addled	steve	rubell	,	myers	is	worth	the	price	of	admission	alone	.	when	he's	not	playing	the	life	of	the	party	,	the	ex	"	saturday	night	live	"	comedian	strips	away	all	of	rubell's	confidence	and	swagger	to	show	a	man	desperately	trying	to	fill	his	empty	,	unhappy	life	with	exorbitance	;	it's	a	moment	worthy	of	pity	when	,	while	lounging	on	a	bed	of	money	and	vomiting	from	a	particularly	heavy	evening	,	he	attempts	to	seduce	one	of	his	employees	.	and	while	his	performance	is	largely	serious	,	myers	mixes	the	empathy	with	a	delicate	"	austin	powers	"	esque	wink	,	thus	keeping	consistent	with	"	54	"	's	overall	feel	gaudy	,	larger	than	life	and	satisfyingly	ornamental	,	not	unlike	a	giant	disco	ball	.	hr	1998	jamie	peck	e	mail	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	"	jpeck1	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	a	visit	the	reel	deal	online	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	"	http	:	www	.	gl	.	umbc	.	edu	jpeck1	a	"	stargate'	is	like	a	film	school	exercise	.	assignment	:	conceive	of	the	weirdest	plot	you	can	think	of	,	and	reduce	it	as	quickly	as	possible	to	action	movie	cliches	.	if	possible	,	include	sun	god	ra	,	and	make	sure	something	gets	blowed	up	real	good	.	"	roger	ebert	on	"	stargate	"
pos	directed	by	lisa	cholodenko	.	cast	:	radha	mitchell	,	ally	sheedy	,	patricia	clarkson	,	bill	sage	,	gabriel	mann	,	anh	duong	,	david	thornton	,	tammy	grimes	,	helen	mendes	,	cindra	feuer	,	charis	michelson	.	1998	101	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	profanity	,	sexual	situations	,	nudity	,	and	drug	use	)	.	reviewed	december	11	,	1998	.	lisa	cholodenko's	"	high	art	,	"	is	an	intelligent	,	quiet	drama	.	its	strongest	quality	,	aside	from	the	top	notch	central	performances	,	is	the	perceptive	way	in	which	the	film	,	also	written	by	cholodenko	,	observes	its	characters	.	they	are	all	flawed	people	,	some	more	troubled	than	others	,	but	they	are	not	judged	.	judging	the	characters	in	this	picture	would	be	a	creative	misstep	on	the	filmmakers'	parts	,	because	no	one	,	no	matter	how	bad	off	they	are	,	deserve	to	be	negatively	judged	if	they	are	involved	in	some	serious	problems	that	they	cannot	break	free	of	.	syd	(	radha	mitchell	)	,	a	24	year	old	woman	living	with	her	longtime	boyfriend	james	(	gabriel	mann	)	,	has	recently	been	awarded	an	ideal	job	at	the	high	profile	photography	magazine	,	"	frame	.	"	she	very	much	enjoys	where	her	career	is	headed	,	but	is	often	not	taken	very	seriously	by	her	managers	,	who	are	always	giving	her	petty	jobs	to	do	,	when	she	knows	she	could	be	doing	more	important	things	.	one	night	,	while	taking	a	bath	,	syd	notices	a	leak	coming	from	the	apartment	above	hers	,	so	when	she	goes	up	there	to	inform	them	of	it	,	she	meets	lucy	beliner	(	ally	sheedy	)	,	a	thin	,	worn	out	,	and	unhappy	woman	,	who	lives	with	her	drug	addicted	german	girlfriend	,	greta	(	patricia	clarkson	)	,	a	pathetic	former	actress	who	is	usually	so	out	of	it	that	she	often	is	in	and	out	of	conciousness	.	syd	quickly	strikes	up	a	conversation	with	lucy	,	and	discovers	that	she	used	to	be	an	acclaimed	photographer	ten	years	before	.	lucy	claims	she	doesn't	want	to	get	back	into	the	profession	,	but	syd	manages	to	convince	the	"	frame	"	editors	to	do	a	piece	on	her	work	.	all	the	while	,	syd	begins	to	grow	deep	feelings	for	lucy	,	even	though	she	has	never	previously	been	attracted	to	a	woman	,	and	lucy	starts	a	battle	with	her	personal	demons	.	"	high	art	,	"	is	such	an	effective	motion	picture	because	it	is	never	suger	coated	or	idealized	,	but	instead	an	honest	and	convincing	portrait	of	a	handful	of	unhappy	people	whose	lives	are	going	nowhere	,	while	syd's	luck	begins	to	rise	.	the	film	in	no	way	is	about	lesbianism	,	but	about	love	,	which	was	a	refreshing	change	of	pace	from	the	usual	stereotypical	portraits	of	homosexuality	.	as	lucy	and	syd	grow	closer	and	closer	together	,	we	really	do	believe	that	they	are	falling	in	love	with	each	other	,	even	if	the	relationship	might	be	doomed	.	with	this	picture	,	ally	sheedy's	star	has	risen	once	again	,	thanks	to	her	touching	,	nearly	flawless	portrtayal	of	lucy	,	a	woman	who	,	in	the	course	of	a	decade	,	has	found	her	life	consumed	almost	entirely	by	drugs	,	which	has	taken	away	her	once	blossoming	career	.	her	characted	really	is	tragic	,	and	one	particular	scene	involving	lucy	and	her	mother	,	in	which	lucy	admits	to	her	that	she	has	a	drug	problem	,	and	her	mother	matter	of	factly	responds	by	saying	she	can't	help	her	,	is	heartbreaking	.	although	not	autobiographical	,	sheedy	has	had	drug	problems	in	her	past	,	and	i	suspect	she	brought	that	knowledge	of	already	being	in	lucy's	footsteps	to	her	role	.	also	very	good	is	radha	mitchell	as	syd	,	who	previously	starred	in	the	slight	1997	australian	comedy	,	"	love	and	other	catastrophes	,	"	wh	caught	me	by	surprise	with	her	performance	.	easily	being	able	to	pass	as	christina	ricci's	older	sister	,	mitchell	obtains	the	same	natural	charisma	that	has	made	ricci	so	popular	recently	.	as	accurate	as	almost	every	detail	is	in	,	"	high	art	,	"	i	wish	the	relationship	had	been	more	tightly	written	involving	syd	and	james	,	who	,	played	by	gabriel	mann	,	is	left	with	a	throwaway	role	.	by	the	time	he	finds	out	about	syd	and	lucy	,	he	disappears	from	the	film	,	and	i	wish	there	had	been	another	scene	where	they	confronted	each	other	.	this	is	a	very	minor	fault	,	however	,	in	a	film	that	is	full	of	riches	.	although	many	of	the	characters	are	stuck	in	a	hopeless	pit	of	despair	,	syd	and	lucy	are	intelligent	people	who	recognize	their	problems	.	the	character	of	dominique	(	anh	duong	)	,	the	"	frame	"	editor	who	decides	to	give	syd	a	chance	with	her	ideas	,	was	also	written	to	be	far	more	mature	than	expected	.	and	the	one	sex	scene	in	the	film	was	beautifully	and	originally	done	.	for	once	,	it	did	not	invlove	steaminess	,	or	violent	sexual	activity	,	or	gratuitous	nudity	,	but	focused	on	the	actual	characters	,	who	love	each	other	,	and	their	insecurities	involved	in	making	the	decision	to	actually	have	sex	.	"	high	art	,	"	which	won	the	screenwriting	award	at	the	1998	sundance	film	festival	,	marks	the	superior	feature	film	debut	of	cholodenko	,	as	well	as	sheedy's	strongest	,	and	best	,	role	to	date	.	copyright	1998	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a
pos	starring	:	bruce	willis	,	matthew	perry	,	rosanna	arquette	,	michael	clarke	duncan	,	natasha	henstridge	,	amanda	peet	,	kevin	pollak	director	:	jonathan	lynn	written	by	:	mitchell	kapner	as	creator	of	the	british	tv	series	"	yes	,	minister	"	and	the	writer	director	of	movie	comedies	like	clue	,	nuns	on	the	run	,	and	my	cousin	vinny	,	jonathan	lynn	isn't	lacking	in	the	offbeat	humor	department	.	with	the	whole	nine	yards	,	he	shows	a	considerably	darker	side	to	his	sense	of	what's	funny	;	this	time	there	are	contract	killers	,	murder	plots	and	double	crosses	to	go	with	the	pratfalls	and	silly	accents	that	characterized	earlier	lynn	films	.	picture	an	elmore	leonard	novel	filtered	through	a	brit	com	sensibility	,	and	you	get	the	idea	.	while	the	film	begins	unpromisingly	,	it	kicks	into	an	entirely	more	satisfying	gear	in	its	second	half	,	giving	matthew	perry	the	distinction	of	having	the	best	friends	cast	member	movie	thus	far	.	perry	stars	as	nick	"	oz	"	oseransky	,	a	dentist	who's	distinctly	unhappy	with	his	mooching	french	canadian	wife	(	played	with	a	silly	accent	by	arquette	)	and	unfulfilled	life	.	after	recognizing	his	new	next	door	neighbor	jimmy	jones	(	willis	)	as	notorious	hit	man	jimmy	"	the	tulip	"	tudeski	,	oz	is	forced	by	his	wife	to	go	to	chicago	in	hopes	of	collecting	a	reward	for	revealing	tudeski's	whereabouts	to	yanni	gogolack	(	pollak	)	,	the	crime	boss	tudeski	sold	out	for	a	reduced	sentence	.	naturally	,	assorted	hijinks	ensue	,	including	but	not	limited	to	oz's	getting	worked	over	by	gogolack's	enforcer	frankie	figs	(	the	green	mile's	duncan	)	,	sleeping	with	tudeski's	wife	(	henstridge	)	,	and	finding	out	about	a	particularly	large	sum	of	money	that	everyone	wants	to	"	off	"	everyone	else	for	.	oz	learns	that	tudeski	doesn't	believe	in	divorce	(	it's	a	sin	)	,	but	would	happily	kill	his	wife	to	get	at	the	money	.	as	he	becomes	a	pawn	in	the	schemes	of	everyone	around	him	,	oz	has	to	figure	out	a	way	to	keep	the	people	he	cares	about	from	getting	whacked	especially	himself	.	at	first	,	laughs	don't	come	easily	.	perry	seems	unsure	whether	to	go	with	his	sarcastic	wiseacre	character	on	friends	or	the	bumbling	,	in	over	his	head	naf	lynn	seems	to	want	.	worse	,	he	looks	embarrassed	at	having	to	perform	the	too	numerous	pratfalls	that	mar	the	entire	movie	.	pollak	,	doing	an	even	more	silly	accent	than	arquette's	,	tries	to	make	his	pronunciation	of	"	vermin	"	this	year's	version	of	joe	pesci's	"	yoots	"	in	vinny	but	fails	horribly	.	by	the	second	half	,	though	,	after	a	few	more	characters	have	been	established	(	particularly	jill	,	oz's	dental	secretary	and	contract	killer	wannabe	,	played	with	fervid	enthusiasm	by	peet	)	,	the	humor	starts	to	click	.	willis'	friendship	with	duncan	is	so	patently	obvious	that	it	shines	right	through	their	line	readings	,	and	perry	seems	to	relax	into	a	much	better	mix	of	peevish	tightass	and	nice	guy	hero	.	even	the	sight	gags	are	funnier	.	in	the	end	,	everything	works	out	in	a	twisted	yet	moralistic	way	that	jimmy	the	tulip	would	appreciate	.
pos	director	:	tony	kaye	cast	:	edward	norton	,	edward	furlong	,	fairuza	balk	,	beverly	d'angelo	,	avery	brooks	,	stacy	heach	,	jennifer	lien	,	elliott	gould	screenplay	:	david	mckenna	producers	:	john	morrissey	runtime	:	117	min	.	us	distribution	:	new	line	cinema	rated	r	:	graphic	brutal	violence	,	sexuality	,	nudty	,	language	apparently	,	director	tony	kaye	had	a	major	battle	with	new	line	regarding	his	new	film	,	american	history	x	.	i	don't	know	the	details	of	the	fight	,	but	it	seems	that	he	is	not	happy	with	the	final	product	,	and	nearly	removed	his	name	from	the	credits	altogether	.	i've	heard	about	this	kind	of	thing	happening	before	,	and	it	makes	me	wonder	how	much	input	a	studio	has	over	the	films	they	produce	.	as	it	is	,	i	found	american	history	x	to	be	an	extremely	good	film	,	not	just	because	of	tony	kaye's	focused	look	at	the	touchy	subject	of	racism	,	but	because	of	a	powerful	,	charismatic	performance	from	edward	norton	.	it's	hard	to	believe	that	it	has	only	been	two	years	since	norton's	fantastic	role	in	primal	fear	,	but	,	here	he	is	now	,	starring	in	his	own	film	and	making	himself	a	star	.	norton	is	one	of	those	performers	who	becomes	his	character	,	and	his	work	in	american	history	x	is	one	of	the	very	best	performances	this	year	.	he	plays	a	young	man	named	derek	vinyard	,	a	skinhead	living	in	venice	beach	with	his	brother	,	danny	(	edward	furlong	)	,	mother	(	beverly	d'angelo	)	,	and	sister	,	davin	(	jennifer	lien	)	.	the	film	opens	with	a	flashback	,	in	which	derek	brutally	kills	two	black	men	vandalizing	his	car	.	we	find	out	that	this	lands	him	in	prison	,	and	the	film	from	that	point	is	seen	through	the	eyes	of	danny	.	in	the	present	time	of	the	film	,	danny	is	in	high	school	,	and	eager	to	follow	the	footsteps	of	his	brother	.	much	of	the	film	is	told	in	flashback	,	and	we	see	the	path	that	leads	to	derek's	adoption	of	white	supremacy	.	when	derek	is	released	,	having	served	three	years	in	prison	,	he	finds	that	his	brother	is	now	a	full	blown	skinhead	;	derek	,	however	,	has	given	up	the	violence	,	and	tries	to	get	his	brother	to	understand	why	racism	and	the	violence	that	comes	with	it	are	bad	things	.	what	makes	this	all	interesting	is	that	these	two	young	men	are	not	stupid	,	thoughtless	people	they	are	intelligent	and	articulate	,	and	voice	their	beliefs	in	disturbingly	straightforward	terms	.	it's	hard	to	make	a	controversial	movie	and	not	preach	,	but	kaye	has	found	the	right	note	for	his	material	.	because	american	history	x	is	a	mainstream	film	,	there	has	to	be	a	redemption	phase	for	our	main	character	some	people	may	think	that	this	is	the	only	way	to	make	him	sympathetic	.	i	partially	disagree	with	this	,	because	,	although	i	do	not	advocate	racism	in	any	way	,	it's	interesting	the	way	kaye	presents	derek	he	is	a	loud	,	obnoxious	man	,	but	he's	also	very	smart	.	the	reasons	for	why	he	becomes	a	skinhead	are	believable	his	father	was	arbitrarily	killed	by	a	group	of	black	men	.	it's	clear	that	he's	passionate	about	his	beliefs	,	and	that	he's	not	just	a	punk	looking	for	an	excuse	to	beat	people	up	.	of	course	,	it	helps	that	kaye	has	an	actor	as	talented	as	norton	to	play	this	part	.	it's	astonishing	how	frightening	norton	looks	with	a	shaved	head	and	a	swastika	on	his	chest	.	in	addition	to	getting	the	look	just	right	,	he's	perfect	for	this	role	derek	requires	intelligence	,	depth	,	and	a	whole	lot	of	shouting	,	and	norton	does	it	all	with	ease	.	even	when	he's	at	his	meanest	,	derek	has	a	likable	quality	to	him	,	and	that's	a	gutsy	approach	when	telling	a	story	about	a	skinhead	.	what	adds	depth	to	the	story	is	a	subplot	in	which	the	principal	of	danny's	school	(	avery	brooks	)	becomes	obsessed	with	purging	the	hatred	from	danny	.	the	other	performances	are	all	terrific	,	with	standouts	from	furlong	,	d'angelo	,	and	lien	.	visually	,	the	film	is	very	powerful	.	kaye	indulges	in	a	lot	of	interesting	artistic	choices	,	and	most	of	them	work	nicely	lots	of	slow	motion	and	strange	camera	angles	add	to	a	moody	atmosphere	.	but	,	like	a	lot	of	movies	lately	,	american	history	x	skims	past	greatness	in	the	last	few	minutes	.	although	the	climactic	scene	is	very	moving	,	the	picture	ends	with	a	pretentious	,	preachy	resolution	featuring	a	brief	narration	from	a	character	who	was	killed	.	for	a	movie	so	smart	a	subtle	up	until	that	point	,	it	felt	like	a	slap	in	the	face	to	be	hand	fed	a	theme	in	such	a	simplistic	way	.	it	makes	me	wonder	what	,	exactly	,	tony	kaye	disliked	about	the	final	version	of	his	film	.	perhaps	this	last	scene	was	the	problem	.	it's	hard	to	imagine	any	director	not	being	at	least	partially	pleased	with	a	film	this	good	in	a	time	when	so	many	movies	are	timid	and	weak	,	american	history	x	manages	to	make	a	compelling	argument	for	racism	without	advocating	it	any	way	.
pos	australia	usa	,	1997	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	12	31	97	(	limited	)	,	1	16	98	(	wider	)	running	length	:	2	:	10	mpaa	classification	:	r	(	violence	,	sex	,	mature	themes	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	2	.	35	:	1	cast	:	ralph	fiennes	,	cate	blanchett	,	ciaran	hinds	,	tom	wilkinson	,	richard	roxburgh	,	clive	russell	,	bille	brown	director	:	gillian	armstrong	producers	:	robin	dalton	,	timothy	white	screenplay	:	laura	jones	based	on	the	novel	by	peter	carey	cinematography	:	geoffrey	simpson	music	:	thomas	newman	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	fox	searchlight	ralph	fiennes	is	carving	out	a	nice	niche	for	himself	in	the	genre	of	period	piece	romances	.	for	his	followup	to	the	academy	beloved	the	english	patient	,	he	has	once	again	turned	to	a	love	story	,	this	time	directed	by	accomplished	australian	film	maker	gillian	armstrong	(	little	women	)	.	despite	some	obvious	overplotting	,	oscar	and	lucinda	is	a	mostly	effective	and	often	affecting	motion	picture	that	touches	our	hearts	while	daring	our	minds	to	balk	at	its	implausible	coincidences	.	the	film	opens	in	the	mid	1800s	,	with	parallel	storylines	in	new	south	wales	,	australia	and	devon	,	england	.	as	the	helpful	narrative	voice	of	geoffrey	rush	informs	us	,	lucinda	leplastrier	(	cate	blanchett	)	is	a	headstrong	young	woman	being	raised	in	the	australian	outback	.	meanwhile	,	half	the	world	away	,	oscar	hopkins	(	fiennes	)	has	broken	with	his	puritanical	father	over	religious	issues	,	and	has	gone	away	to	school	to	study	to	be	an	anglican	priest	.	lucinda	is	fascinated	with	glass	;	oscar	is	obsessed	with	theology	.	lucinda	is	rich	;	oscar	is	poor	.	lucinda	is	forward	and	self	assured	;	oscar	is	timid	and	uncertain	of	himself	.	yet	one	characteristic	unites	these	two	diverse	individuals	the	compulsion	to	gamble	,	whether	it's	on	horses	,	dogs	,	cards	,	or	the	flip	of	a	coin	.	and	fate	has	decreed	that	they	will	one	day	meet	.	that	day	doesn't	occur	until	45	minutes	into	the	film	,	when	oscar	boards	a	ship	bound	for	sidney	,	australia	,	where	he	hopes	to	change	his	life	and	minister	to	anyone	in	need	of	his	help	.	another	of	the	passengers	is	lucinda	,	who	is	returning	from	england	where	she	was	shopping	for	machinery	to	equip	her	newly	acquired	glassworks	factory	.	at	first	,	their	relationship	is	that	of	a	reverend	and	a	confessor	,	but	it	doesn't	take	long	for	both	of	them	to	recognize	a	kindred	spirit	in	the	other	.	a	friendship	is	born	,	and	,	once	they	reach	australia	,	it	develops	into	something	more	potent	.	but	oscar	is	uncertain	of	lucinda's	affection	,	and	feels	he	must	do	something	to	prove	himself	worthy	of	her	.	oscar	and	lucinda	isn't	beyond	a	little	manipulation	to	get	the	desired	emotional	response	,	and	there	are	times	when	the	storyline	curves	in	preposterous	directions	.	on	more	than	one	occasion	,	it's	apparent	that	events	are	occurring	specifically	to	funnel	the	characters	into	a	position	where	there	is	only	one	possible	route	.	coincidence	is	a	crucial	plot	device	;	without	it	,	this	movie	can't	go	anywhere	.	the	voiceover	narration	(	never	one	of	my	favorite	techniques	)	is	too	verbose	and	breaks	into	the	story	at	undesirable	moments	.	(	however	,	without	it	,	the	final	twist	,	which	i	will	not	reveal	,	would	not	be	as	poignant	.	)	yet	,	despite	these	quibbles	,	i	enjoyed	oscar	and	lucinda	.	storyline	faults	pale	in	the	light	of	two	such	finely	realized	characters	.	thematically	,	the	film	is	also	strong	.	the	unifying	motif	that	everything	in	life	is	a	gamble	is	successfully	delineated	.	oscar	and	lucinda	don't	just	wager	their	money	,	they	bet	their	hearts	,	minds	,	and	souls	.	a	card	game	they	engage	in	shortly	after	they	first	meet	could	easily	be	considered	a	form	of	emotional	"	strip	poker	"	where	defenses	are	peeled	away	to	reveal	their	shared	,	secret	passion	.	oscar	does	not	see	gambling	as	a	vice	.	in	fact	,	he	believes	that	the	greatest	chance	one	takes	in	life	is	betting	one's	immortal	soul	on	the	truth	of	a	religious	faith	.	ralph	fiennes	,	who	normally	plays	strong	,	confident	men	,	is	very	much	at	home	as	the	fumbling	,	insecure	oscar	.	the	actor	brings	a	variety	of	nervous	tics	to	the	part	,	all	of	which	subtly	add	to	a	vague	sense	of	discomfort	whenever	oscar	is	on	screen	.	as	good	as	fiennes	is	,	however	,	he	is	eclipsed	by	cate	blanchett	.	the	actress	,	who	appeared	earlier	this	year	as	one	of	the	leads	in	bruce	beresford's	paradise	road	,	is	mesmerizing	as	lucinda	.	she	gives	this	liberated	woman	her	flash	,	and	feeds	the	chemistry	between	the	two	lead	characters	so	that	it	sparkles	rather	than	fizzles	.	effective	support	is	provided	by	ciaran	hinds	(	the	male	lead	in	jane	austen's	persuasion	)	as	lucinda's	close	friend	,	tom	wilkinson	(	the	full	monty	)	as	oscar's	mentor	,	and	clive	russell	as	a	self	serving	adventurer	.	there's	a	real	magic	in	the	way	armstrong	develops	the	story	,	keeping	things	moving	in	unexpected	directions	without	lingering	too	long	on	any	one	moment	or	sequence	.	(	in	fact	,	i	wish	she	had	devoted	a	little	more	time	to	the	luminous	middle	act	,	which	has	oscar	and	lucinda	together	.	)	with	the	skill	of	a	consummate	storyteller	,	she	weaves	romance	,	friendship	,	passion	,	humor	,	and	tragedy	together	into	a	complete	package	.	the	characters	,	with	all	of	their	human	foibles	and	neuroses	,	are	wonderfully	developed	by	fiennes	and	blanchett	.	so	who	cares	if	the	storyline	is	a	little	ripe	and	unwieldy	?	oscar	and	lucinda	still	offers	abundant	pleasures	to	reward	the	viewer	.
pos	(	out	of	4	)	martin	scorsese's	films	used	to	intimidate	me	.	because	of	his	reputation	,	i	felt	obligated	to	appreciate	them	as	deep	film	art	rather	than	as	great	flicks	.	as	much	as	i	enjoyed	them	,	i	usually	felt	like	i	missed	something	.	i	learned	from	scorsese's	casino	that	whatever	techniques	he	uses	are	merely	there	to	enhance	the	story	.	no	mystical	interpretation	is	required	to	appreciate	his	movies	.	for	example	,	in	casino	he	uses	subtitles	when	robert	deniro	and	joe	pesci	are	using	code	words	with	each	other	.	there	was	no	meaning	more	exotic	than	that	subtitles	were	the	most	succinct	way	for	him	to	tell	the	audience	what	was	really	going	on	.	or	toward	the	end	,	when	he	uses	three	quick	dissolves	to	compress	a	scene	of	a	car	backing	away	from	a	building	.	again	,	the	simple	,	mundane	explanation	is	that	it	helped	the	pacing	.	i	don't	mean	to	say	that	his	techniques	are	not	creative	or	good	looking	.	but	he	simply	uses	the	best	tool	for	the	job	.	it	shouldn't	have	surprised	me	,	then	,	that	kundun	,	a	film	about	a	mystical	religion	,	actually	turned	out	to	be	quite	straightforward	.	the	movie	follows	the	life	of	the	14th	dalai	lama	,	the	spiritual	and	political	leader	of	tibet	.	the	movie's	title	is	another	name	for	the	dalai	lama	which	means	"	ocean	of	wisdom	.	"	his	story	is	told	in	strict	chronological	order	and	there	are	only	a	few	cinematic	visions	to	embellish	the	literal	story	.	(	one	of	which	makes	an	interesting	statement	:	pay	attention	to	the	film's	opening	shot	and	watch	where	it	is	repeated	.	)	we	first	glimpse	the	dalai	lama	when	he	is	two	years	old	.	his	curiosity	and	self	assuredness	capture	the	attention	of	a	monk	wandering	in	search	of	the	new	lama	.	a	test	is	arranged	to	see	if	this	boy	really	is	the	reincarnation	of	the	13	dalai	lamas	who	have	gone	before	.	several	items	belonging	to	the	previous	dalai	lama	are	laid	before	the	boy	alongside	some	other	items	.	the	child	is	asked	if	he	recognizes	any	of	the	items	as	his	own	.	the	boy	picks	correctly	,	proving	that	he	is	the	new	,	and	the	old	,	dalai	lama	.	scorsese	and	long	time	editor	thelma	schoonmaker	were	kind	enough	to	allow	the	possibility	that	the	child	was	taking	his	cues	from	the	monk	.	before	selecting	an	item	,	he	would	look	at	the	monk	,	perhaps	for	some	sort	of	confirmation	.	sometimes	he	picked	right	the	first	time	,	and	sometimes	he	made	a	second	choice	.	either	way	,	whether	through	reincarnation	or	quick	human	perception	,	the	tibetans	were	assured	of	choosing	a	boy	who	could	be	a	wise	,	perceptive	leader	.	from	this	point	on	,	the	boy	is	raised	as	the	reincarnation	of	the	lama's	spirit	and	the	future	leader	of	a	nation	.	it	is	a	great	weight	to	put	on	the	mind	of	a	child	.	in	the	u	.	s	.	it	might	be	grounds	for	a	call	to	social	services	.	but	the	young	lama	accepts	his	destiny	without	any	apparent	emotional	damage	.	neither	the	great	power	nor	the	awesome	responsibility	keeps	him	from	becoming	a	genuinely	likeable	,	well	rounded	person	.	certain	patterns	take	shape	over	the	years	.	for	example	,	the	dalai	lama	is	fascinated	by	technology	.	radios	,	clocks	,	and	telescopes	are	some	of	his	favorite	toys	.	when	he	is	old	enough	to	accept	his	leadership	,	he	makes	plans	to	modernize	isolated	tibet	.	he	also	has	a	soft	spot	for	creatures	who	are	suffering	or	in	pain	,	including	herd	animals	.	it's	nearly	a	running	gag	that	he	will	buy	sheep	to	keep	them	from	being	herded	to	slaughter	.	but	the	most	ominous	constant	throughout	his	life	is	the	presence	and	threat	of	tibet's	gigantic	neighbor	,	china	.	tibet	and	its	leaders	prove	correct	in	fearing	china	,	as	,	first	the	propaganda	,	then	the	political	pressure	,	and	finally	the	armies	,	come	across	their	common	border	.	the	chinese	invasion	is	so	successful	that	the	lama's	life	is	in	danger	if	he	stays	.	the	movie	ends	when	,	after	much	agonizing	,	the	dalai	lama	leaves	tibet	for	india	.	the	story	doesn't	lead	up	to	a	cinematic	climax	as	strongly	as	most	feature	films	do	.	it	just	doesn't	fit	that	mold	.	if	it	were	forced	into	such	a	shape	it	would	have	been	a	completely	different	movie	(	perhaps	more	like	seven	years	in	tibet	,	which	is	good	in	its	own	right	)	.	the	pacing	of	kundun	is	more	calm	and	level	than	that	.	the	structure	of	the	film	is	made	to	fit	the	characters	and	events	,	not	vice	versa	.	perhaps	because	the	pace	is	slower	,	we	have	more	time	to	notice	the	beautiful	art	,	vestments	,	and	architecture	of	tibet	.	a	mandala	,	(	tibetan	sand	painting	)	with	beautiful	,	vibrant	colors	is	shown	throughout	the	movie	.	the	robes	and	hats	of	state	are	bright	red	and	gold	.	the	bricks	are	a	rich	reddish	brown	,	not	unlike	the	skin	tone	of	the	tibetans	.	even	the	touchstone	pictures	logo	before	the	movie	(	which	is	usually	light	blue	)	is	the	red	and	gold	of	tibet	.	philip	glass	composed	the	music	for	kundun	,	and	he	was	the	perfect	choice	.	for	those	who	don't	know	of	glass	,	his	music	is	like	a	tibetan	mandala	.	his	building	blocks	are	lots	of	small	notes	,	tiny	grains	of	music	,	which	are	first	grouped	,	then	repeated	in	patterns	.	these	patterns	create	interesting	textures	which	are	themselves	part	of	a	larger	composition	.	people	won't	be	flocking	to	kundun	for	it's	great	ending	,	or	talking	about	its	outstanding	plot	,	but	it	does	have	a	lot	to	offer	:	an	interesting	lifetime	,	exotic	sights	,	rich	cinematography	,	and	innovative	music	.	it	gives	interesting	insight	into	tibetan	buddhism	and	takes	a	warm	look	at	the	dalai	lama	as	a	person	.	on	top	of	it	all	is	the	cinematic	mastery	of	martin	scorsese	,	who	gives	the	film	a	strong	,	beautiful	,	consistent	look	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	cast	:	gwyneth	paltrow	,	john	lynch	,	john	hannah	,	jeanne	tripplehorn	,	douglas	mcferran	,	zara	turner	director	:	peter	howitt	producers	:	phillipa	braithwaite	,	sydney	pollack	,	william	hocberg	screenplay	:	peter	howitt	cinematography	:	remi	adefarasin	music	:	david	hirschfelder	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	miramax	films	look	back	at	all	the	times	in	your	life	when	there	was	a	fork	in	the	path	to	the	future	.	some	sort	of	decision	had	to	be	made	,	and	,	for	better	or	worse	,	it	irrevocably	altered	the	course	of	your	existence	.	from	time	to	time	,	everyone	thinks	about	the	roads	not	taken	,	and	how	things	might	have	turned	out	if	the	choice	had	been	different	.	perhaps	even	more	dizzying	to	contemplate	is	how	a	seemingly	minor	action	catching	the	10	am	train	,	for	example	could	have	an	equally	profound	,	yet	less	obvious	,	impact	.	maybe	that's	where	you	met	your	significant	other	,	and	,	had	you	reached	the	platform	just	a	few	seconds	later	film	makers	are	no	less	fascinated	by	issues	of	destiny	than	anyone	else	,	and	that's	why	there's	no	shortage	of	movies	about	this	subject	.	the	best	of	the	bunch	were	probably	made	by	the	late	polish	director	krzysztof	kieslowski	,	who	was	obsessed	with	questions	of	fate	and	chance	.	these	themes	weave	their	way	through	many	of	his	movies	,	including	decalogue	,	the	double	life	of	veronique	,	and	the	triptych	of	blue	,	white	,	and	red	.	however	,	they	are	most	explicitly	examined	in	a	1981	film	called	blind	chance	,	where	kieslowski	presents	the	three	different	fates	of	one	man	after	a	minor	action	(	missing	or	catching	a	train	)	changes	the	course	of	his	life	.	in	his	autobiography	,	kieslowski	on	kieslowski	,	the	director	describes	his	attraction	to	the	concept	this	way	:	"	the	idea	is	rich	and	interesting	that	every	day	we're	faced	with	a	choice	which	could	end	our	entire	life	yet	of	which	we're	completely	unaware	.	"	while	this	approach	has	been	the	fodder	for	several	notable	dramatic	films	(	including	,	in	a	way	,	frank	capra's	it's	a	wonderful	life	)	,	sliding	doors	is	the	first	romantic	comedy	to	plumb	its	depths	.	the	"	road	not	taken	"	approach	isn't	just	a	plot	device	,	either	.	writer	director	peter	howitt	expands	upon	both	possible	fates	of	a	character	after	she	just	misses	catches	a	train	.	the	audience	watches	,	with	ever	growing	fascination	,	how	this	one	event	impacts	upon	every	aspect	of	her	life	:	her	future	career	,	where	she	lives	,	whom	she	loves	,	and	whether	she	has	a	family	.	as	her	separate	destinies	diverge	and	then	re	converge	,	she	becomes	two	completely	different	individuals	.	that	woman	is	helen	,	played	by	gwyneth	paltrow	as	a	long	,	dark	haired	brit	.	one	day	,	after	losing	her	job	as	an	advertising	executive	,	she	decides	to	return	home	in	the	middle	of	the	day	.	the	scene	of	the	pivotal	moment	is	a	train	platform	.	in	scenario	1	,	she	just	slips	through	the	sliding	doors	before	the	train	pulls	out	of	the	station	.	on	board	,	she	meets	the	cheerful	,	talkative	james	(	john	hannah	)	,	a	monty	python	fan	who	is	taken	with	her	beauty	.	minutes	later	,	in	her	flat	,	she	walks	in	on	her	lover	,	gerry	(	john	lynch	)	,	in	bed	with	another	woman	(	jeanne	tripplehorn	)	.	in	scenario	2	,	she	misses	the	train	and	,	shortly	thereafter	,	is	the	victim	of	an	attempted	mugging	.	she	doesn't	meet	james	and	fails	to	make	it	home	in	time	to	discover	gerry's	infidelity	.	juxtaposed	one	against	the	other	,	while	sharing	many	places	,	cues	,	and	characters	,	the	two	stories	proceed	in	parallel	from	there	.	on	one	level	,	for	viewers	who	enjoy	pondering	the	workings	of	fate	,	sliding	doors	can	be	viewed	as	a	deep	and	wonderful	experience	.	but	,	for	those	who	just	appreciate	a	romantic	comedy	characterized	by	solid	acting	,	a	script	with	a	few	twists	,	and	a	great	deal	of	genuinely	funny	material	,	sliding	doors	still	fits	the	bill	.	one	of	its	most	obvious	strengths	is	that	it	can	satisfy	many	different	types	of	audiences	those	who	demand	something	substantial	from	their	motion	pictures	,	and	those	who	could	care	less	.	it	shouldn't	come	as	any	surprise	that	the	acting	,	at	least	from	three	of	the	four	leads	,	is	solid	.	paltrow	,	who	does	double	duty	as	two	helens	who	are	initially	the	same	,	yet	gradually	become	much	different	,	is	the	standout	.	she	plays	both	of	her	roles	effectively	and	believably	the	shy	,	insecure	woman	who	stays	with	gerry	and	the	liberated	,	platinum	blond	who	severs	the	ties	to	her	old	life	and	embarks	on	a	new	career	with	a	new	man	.	john	hannah	,	known	to	most	american	viewers	as	the	younger	gay	character	in	four	weddings	and	a	funeral	,	is	instantly	likable	.	john	lynch	,	taking	a	break	from	movies	about	ireland's	troubles	,	does	a	good	job	presenting	gerry	as	a	inept	,	selfish	philanderer	.	only	jeanne	tripplehorn	,	who	plays	an	over	the	top	vixen	,	seems	out	of	place	.	her	attempts	at	broad	comedy	are	occasionally	jarring	,	and	it's	occasionally	difficult	to	see	her	lydia	as	anything	more	than	a	plot	element	.	one	member	of	the	supporting	cast	deserves	special	notice	.	douglas	mcferran	,	who	plays	gerry's	best	friend	,	russell	,	is	an	absolute	delight	,	stealing	every	scene	that	he's	in	.	part	of	this	is	surely	because	he	is	given	the	best	lines	in	the	movie	.	on	one	occasion	,	he	has	a	marvelous	monologue	bemoaning	how	advances	in	the	telecommunications	industry	have	trapped	men	into	a	life	of	monogamy	.	on	another	occasion	,	while	laughing	at	gerry's	plight	with	the	women	in	his	life	,	he	comments	,	"	being	with	you	makes	the	wait	for	the	next	episode	of	seinfeld	more	bearable	.	"	but	it's	not	all	in	the	dialogue	.	mcferran	tears	into	this	part	with	relish	;	his	performance	becomes	one	of	the	most	memorable	aspects	of	a	top	notch	comedy	.	this	is	the	first	feature	film	for	peter	howitt	,	and	he	approaches	the	task	with	unimpeachable	aplomb	.	the	script	is	shrewd	and	inventive	,	combining	wit	,	romance	,	and	intelligent	melodrama	into	a	crowd	pleasing	whole	.	sliding	doors	grants	more	than	just	a	good	time	at	the	movies	,	however	.	for	those	who	are	so	inclined	,	its	central	theme	offers	an	opportunity	to	ponder	some	of	the	more	philosophical	questions	about	the	workings	of	the	universe	all	while	having	a	good	time	.
pos	directed	by	bobby	farrelly	and	peter	farrelly	.	screenplay	by	mike	cerrone	,	farrelly	and	farrelly	.	starring	jim	carrey	,	renee	zellweger	,	chris	cooper	.	running	time	:	116	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	coarse	language	by	the	mfcb	.	reviewed	on	june	28th	,	2000	.	in	a	way	,	i	have	a	lot	in	common	with	charlie	baileygates	.	i	consider	myself	,	all	things	considered	,	a	nice	guy	.	i'm	polite	.	i	do	favors	without	expectation	of	reward	.	i	could	count	on	one	hand	the	number	of	times	in	the	past	five	years	that	i've	gotten	really	,	blood	boiling	,	vein	in	the	neck	throbbing	angry	.	sometimes	,	i'm	probably	a	bit	of	a	pushover	.	i've	often	wondered	what	would	happen	if	,	one	day	,	i	just	.	.	.	snapped	.	the	new	comedy	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	is	devilishly	entertaining	wish	fulfillment	.	charlie	,	played	by	jim	carrey	,	is	a	rhode	island	state	trooper	.	the	film	opens	with	a	flashback	to	eighteen	years	ago	,	when	charlie	married	his	sweetheart	layla	(	traylor	howard	)	.	on	their	wedding	day	,	charlie	became	involved	in	an	inadvertent	fracas	with	shonte	(	tony	cox	)	,	a	black	midget	limo	driver	who	,	like	layla	,	was	a	card	carrying	mensa	member	.	soon	,	layla	and	shonte	were	having	an	affair	,	and	nine	months	later	she	gave	birth	to	triplets	:	three	african	american	baby	boys	.	outwardly	oblivious	,	charlie	raised	the	kids	as	his	own	(	despite	the	fact	that	one	is	actually	named	shonte	jr	!	)	.	fast	forward	to	the	present	.	charlie	is	rearing	the	boys	by	himself	,	layla	having	run	off	with	shonte	years	earlier	.	his	"	sons	"	(	anthony	anderson	,	mongo	brownlee	,	and	jerod	mixon	)	have	grown	into	brilliant	but	foul	mouthed	prodigies	witness	their	hilarious	,	profanity	laden	quantum	mechanics	study	session	.	but	gullible	charlie	has	become	the	state	joke	,	and	one	day	all	his	pent	up	rage	externalises	itself	.	.	.	as	a	split	personality	,	hank	,	a	gruff	talking	,	aggressive	,	no	nonsense	jerk	.	there's	more	to	the	plot	than	this	,	of	course	,	as	charlie	hank	becomes	involved	with	irene	(	renee	zellweger	)	,	who	is	being	hunted	by	corrupt	new	jersey	cops	because	of	her	involvement	with	a	crooked	golf	course	owner	.	or	something	.	frankly	,	the	specifics	of	this	whole	storyline	are	made	murkily	clear	at	best	,	and	really	don't	matter	anyway	.	the	point	is	just	to	keep	charlie	hank	and	irene	together	for	an	extended	period	of	time	,	and	embroil	them	in	a	series	of	wacky	encounters	.	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	is	a	funny	movie	,	but	it	is	in	many	ways	a	victim	of	its	own	publicity	campaign	.	so	much	of	the	set	up	has	been	revealed	in	trailers	and	in	print	that	a	lot	of	the	humor	which	could	have	arisen	from	the	unexpected	and	improbable	scenario	has	been	defused	by	our	familiarity	with	the	material	.	imagine	,	for	instance	,	directors	bobby	and	peter	farrelly's	last	picture	,	"	there's	something	about	mary	"	,	if	you	knew	chris	elliott	was	woogie	.	few	comedies	can	sustain	the	laughs	no	matter	how	well	acquainted	we	are	with	them	(	"	the	philadelphia	story	"	does	it	for	me	;	so	does	"	mystery	science	theater	3000	"	)	.	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	is	no	exception	.	there's	also	something	of	a	miscalculation	in	the	script	by	the	farrellys	and	mike	cerrone	.	hank	starts	off	as	an	amusing	character	consider	his	revenge	against	a	woman	who	skips	ahead	of	charlie	in	the	supermarket	line	up	,	for	example	but	then	the	writers	seem	to	assume	that	hank	as	a	concept	is	good	enough	.	however	,	hank	himself	isn't	funny	;	he's	grotesque	,	really	.	to	work	,	hank	needs	to	be	doing	funny	things	,	but	for	much	of	the	middle	third	of	the	film	,	he	doesn't	,	and	this	contributes	to	long	stretches	of	comparative	tedium	.	there	are	also	some	really	bizarre	moments	,	like	the	late	introduction	of	another	companion	for	charlie	and	irene	,	the	weird	albino	whitey	(	michael	bowman	)	,	whose	inclusion	seems	almost	an	afterthought	.	or	the	inexplicable	cameo	appearance	by	tennis	star	anna	kournikova	,	which	seems	to	exist	just	so	we	can	realise	,	"	hey	,	that's	anna	kournikova	!	"	fortunately	,	things	pick	up	heading	into	the	home	stretch	,	especially	once	charlie	and	hank	start	to	coexist	simultaneously	.	it	is	these	scenes	in	particular	that	really	give	carrey	a	chance	to	shine	,	and	he	makes	exhaustive	use	of	his	rubber	faced	,	marionette	limbed	repertoire	.	carrey	also	does	a	good	job	playing	charlie	and	hank	as	truly	different	yet	fundamentally	interconnected	,	and	it's	a	shame	his	material	wasn't	more	consistent	.	his	interaction	with	the	boys	,	for	instance	,	is	priceless	,	as	he	slips	effortlessly	into	urban	slang	:	"	that	be	whack	!	"	zellweger	is	also	enjoyable	,	and	gives	irene	enough	strength	to	hold	up	against	the	human	onslaught	that	is	carrey	.	but	irene	is	a	poor	successor	to	cameron	diaz's	character	in	"	mary	"	,	because	whereas	diaz	was	both	the	instigator	and	victim	of	comic	moments	,	zellweger	is	usually	just	left	to	react	to	carrey's	antics	.	there	has	been	some	controversy	surrounding	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	,	and	the	erroneous	association	of	the	term	"	schizophrenic	"	with	charlie's	split	personalities	.	although	the	term	"	schizo	"	is	used	on	occasion	in	the	film	,	it	is	never	employed	by	someone	who	should	know	better	instead	they	spit	out	"	advanced	delusionary	schizophrenia	with	narcissistic	rage	"	like	it	rolled	right	off	the	tongue	.	the	purported	"	controversy	"	is	a	non	starter	.	indeed	,	i	was	surprised	to	find	that	the	subject	of	multiple	personalities	is	not	just	used	as	ammunition	for	jokes	,	but	instead	earns	some	serious	consideration	as	well	.	there	is	a	theme	running	throughout	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	that	many	people	assume	fabricated	identities	,	be	it	for	profit	,	or	escape	,	or	just	to	cover	up	a	mistake	.	this	is	true	not	just	of	charlie	,	but	also	irene	,	whitey	,	the	corrupt	cops	,	even	shonte	the	limo	driver	.	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	being	the	kind	of	movie	that	it	is	,	the	idea	is	not	pursued	to	any	great	lengths	,	but	i	appreciated	its	inclusion	nonetheless	.	i	had	great	hopes	for	this	reteaming	of	jim	carrey	and	the	farrelly	brothers	(	they	first	worked	together	on	"	dumb	and	dumber	"	)	,	and	in	the	final	analysis	i'll	admit	to	feeling	a	little	disappointed	.	"	me	,	myself	irene	"	is	not	the	best	comedy	for	either	,	trying	but	failing	to	be	as	funny	and	outlandish	as	superior	entries	in	their	respective	filmographies	.	but	it	is	very	entertaining	all	the	same	and	if	it	doesn't	appeal	to	the	charlie	in	you	,	maybe	there's	a	little	bit	of	hank	lurking	inside	that	will	enjoy	it	instead	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	the	popcorn	gallery	,	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	memyselfandirene	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	memyselfandirene	.	html	a	_______________________________________________________________________	shannon	patrick	sullivan	"	we	are	all	in	the	gutter	,	but	some	of	us	a	href	"	mailto	:	shannon	mun	.	ca	"	shannon	mun	.	ca	a	are	looking	at	the	stars	.	"	oscar	wilde	___________________________	__________________________________________	popcorn	gallery	movie	reviews	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	.	html	doctor	who	:	a	brief	history	of	time	(	travel	)	drwho	.	html
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	before	you	read	my	review	,	you	gotta	know	that	i	love	woody	allen	.	this	is	a	very	important	note	because	allen's	films	are	generally	an	acquired	taste	and	definitely	not	for	everyone	.	i	know	folks	who	believe	him	to	be	a	complete	genius	,	while	others	see	him	as	a	dirty	ol'	schnook	who	keeps	making	the	same	movie	over	and	over	again	.	i	love	most	of	his	films	,	but	will	admit	to	having	been	quite	disappointed	by	his	recent	crop	during	the	90s	.	in	fact	,	why	he	felt	the	need	to	make	10	movies	in	those	10	years	is	beyond	me	!	if	you	look	at	the	quality	of	those	films	,	you'll	hear	what	i'm	saying	.	the	only	two	films	of	his	that	i	really	liked	during	that	time	were	bullets	over	broadway	and	husbands	and	wives	.	in	fact	,	i	secretly	hoped	that	he	would	take	some	"	time	off	"	at	the	turn	of	the	millennium	,	just	to	re	energize	or	something	,	but	it	doesn't	appear	as	though	he	has	any	intention	of	doing	that	.	so	here	i	am	again	,	reviewing	yet	another	woody	allen	movie	and	hoping	that	it	brings	back	the	woody	from	the	days	of	old	.	plot	:	the	year	is	1940	and	woody	allen	is	a	top	notch	insurance	investigator	.	his	methods	are	very	old	fashioned	and	apparently	out	of	date	.	a	new	employee	(	hunt	)	has	just	been	hired	to	streamline	the	operations	for	greater	efficiency	.	the	two	do	not	like	each	other	.	one	night	,	they	are	both	put	under	a	hypnotic	trance	by	a	magician	,	and	unbeknownst	to	them	,	placed	under	his	control	.	soon	thereafter	,	jewels	are	stolen	,	words	of	love	are	exchanged	and	everyone	is	looking	for	an	answer	.	critique	:	a	wonderful	recreation	of	the	1940s	style	movies	,	with	the	fast	talking	witty	banter	between	co	workers	,	a	catchy	jazz	score	moving	things	along	,	film	noirish	elements	such	as	the	veronica	lake	type	sexpot	,	one	liners	galore	and	a	fluffy	,	if	inconsequential	plotline	.	on	the	downside	,	the	film	actually	starts	off	pretty	slowly	,	with	the	first	hour	tossing	only	a	few	guffaws	out	there	,	but	never	really	generating	any	kind	of	steady	flow	or	energy	.	the	sets	,	on	the	other	hand	,	were	amazing	,	the	production	design	and	costumes	were	perfect	,	and	the	casting	ideal	,	so	i	kept	hoping	that	the	film	would	pick	up	and	not	turn	into	yet	another	mediocre	outing	for	the	man	.	but	it	wasn't	not	long	before	i	was	fully	engaged	by	the	characters	,	entertained	by	the	many	zingers	delivered	back	and	forth	between	allen	and	hunt	,	and	actually	interested	in	the	resolution	of	the	flick	.	i	also	appreciated	how	allen	played	the	fine	line	between	homage	to	the	films	of	old	,	parody	and	actual	reinvention	(	note	theron's	entire	female	persona	that	is	drenched	in	film	noir	very	cool	)	.	of	course	,	films	like	this	(	with	little	or	no	real	tension	in	the	plot	)	need	solid	actors	to	keep	you	interested	in	the	quick	fire	dialogue	,	and	once	again	,	allen	does	a	great	job	in	playing	his	character	,	who	for	once	,	isn't	his	typical	new	york	jewish	neurotic	cheating	insecure	husband	dude	.	he	actually	plays	a	"	macho	"	guy	here	and	handles	it	pretty	well	,	especially	the	scenes	in	which	he's	hypnotized	.	but	the	bigger	surprise	for	me	in	this	film	was	helen	hunt	,	an	actress	who	i	was	openly	"	sick	of	seeing	"	in	movies	late	last	year	(	sorry	babe	,	you	were	just	in	too	many	at	the	same	time	!	)	.	anyway	,	she's	really	great	in	this	film	as	the	headstrong	woman	looking	to	a	new	era	of	equality	amongst	men	,	and	doesn't	miss	a	beat	of	allen's	fast	paced	dialogue	.	i	didn't	care	much	for	her	running	joke	about	him	"	dying	"	whenever	he	left	a	room	,	but	overall	she	was	really	good	and	i	especially	liked	the	way	that	her	sweaters	clung	to	her	breasts	as	they	did	.	.	.	yum	,	yum	!	harumph	,	but	i	digress	.	so	let's	recap	.	a	great	looking	picture	with	a	nice	jazzy	score	,	some	funny	one	liners	,	especially	in	the	second	half	,	a	decent	plotline	,	although	you	shouldn't	expect	a	real	mystery	or	anything	,	and	some	solid	acting	all	around	.	i	can't	say	that	this	is	even	remotely	close	to	any	of	allen's	best	work	,	but	i	certainly	believe	it	to	be	a	step	in	the	right	direction	,	especially	after	the	dinky	decade	of	films	that	he	just	went	through	.	it's	probably	better	geared	towards	allen	fans	more	than	anyone	else	,	but	i	would	still	recommend	this	film	to	anyone	looking	for	a	cute	,	"	old	school	"	kind	of	vibe	,	with	chemistry	between	the	leads	,	zippy	dialogue	and	a	satisfying	conclusion	.	little	known	facts	about	this	film	and	its	stars	:	annie	hall	(	10	10	)	celebrity	(	5	10	)	everyone	says	i	love	you	(	5	10	)	husbands	and	wives	(	9	10	)	mighty	aphrodite	(	5	10	)	small	time	crooks	(	7	10	)	when	harry	met	sally	(	10	10	)	you've	got	mail	(	4	10	)
pos	originally	titled	'don't	lose	your	head'	,	this	parody	of	the	scarlet	pimpernel	story	was	the	first	carry	on	to	be	produced	by	rank	film	productions	.	two	english	fops	,	the	'powdered	,	be	wigged	,	be	ribboned'	sir	rodney	ffing	(	sidney	james	)	and	his	counterpart	lord	darcy	pew	(	jim	dale	)	decide	to	travel	to	revolutionary	france	in	an	attempt	to	rescue	their	fellow	french	royalists	and	aristocrats	from	losing	their	heads	by	the	guillotine	.	due	to	a	series	of	machinations	and	disguises	,	they	are	largely	successful	.	ffing	becomes	known	as	'the	black	fingernail'	because	he	leaves	a	calling	card	behind	which	shows	two	fingers	sticking	up	,	one	with	a	black	fingernail	.	after	the	fingernail	rescues	a	prominent	royalist	the	duc	de	pommfrit	(	charles	hawtrey	)	,	citizen	robespierre	(	peter	gilmore	)	orders	the	head	of	the	secret	police	citizen	'the	big	cheese'	camembert	(	kenneth	williams	)	and	citizen	bidet	(	peter	butterworth	)	to	follow	the	fingernail	to	england	and	do	away	with	him	.	(	in	fact	,	darcy	and	ffing	are	their	coachmen	!	)	once	at	calais	,	the	fingernail	meets	jacqueline	(	dany	robin	)	and	they	fall	in	love	instantly	.	he	tells	her	his	identity	and	gives	her	his	locket	.	when	camembert	realises	that	the	fingernail	is	nearby	,	he	searches	the	inn	at	calais	and	captures	jacqueline	,	thinking	that	she	is	wearing	a	diguise	and	is	really	the	fingernail	!	jacqueline	is	imprisoned	in	the	bastille	and	camembert	,	his	love	desiree	dubarry	(	joan	sims	)	,	and	bidet	all	travel	to	london	in	pursuit	of	the	fingernail	.	they	pretend	to	be	of	noble	stock	,	calling	themselves	the	duc	and	duchesse	de	la	plume	de	ma	tante	(	with	bidet	their	assistant	)	and	are	invited	by	darcy	to	a	ball	held	by	ffing	.	desiree	finds	out	that	ffing	is	the	fingernail	by	wearing	the	locket	around	her	neck	,	but	she	ends	up	falling	in	love	with	him	.	ffing	attempts	to	stall	camembert	so	that	he	can	return	to	the	bastille	to	rescue	jacqueline	,	camembert	has	her	moved	to	the	'chateau	neuve'	,	and	a	climactic	sword	fight	decides	who	will	lose	their	heads	at	the	end	of	the	film	!	a	more	complex	story	than	most	carry	ons	,	this	film	enjoys	good	production	values	(	sets	,	costumes	)	and	an	on	form	cast	.	sid	james	is	excellent	as	the	english	fop	and	black	fingernail	,	kenneth	williams	excels	as	the	evil	camembert	,	and	peter	butterworth	expertly	plays	the	substantial	part	of	camembert's	thick	witted	crony	.	other	acting	honours	go	to	joan	sims	who	is	perfect	as	desiree	and	charles	hawtrey	who	is	excellent	as	the	french	aristo	pommfrit	.	although	it	suffers	from	a	disasterously	over	long	sword	fight	at	the	end	of	the	film	,	it	is	largely	successful	due	to	the	performances	of	the	main	stars	,	its	slick	and	professional	production	,	and	its	better	than	usual	script	.	definitely	one	of	the	best	of	the	series	and	a	joy	to	watch	.
pos	starring	stephen	dillane	,	woody	harrelson	,	marisa	tomei	,	mira	nusevic	,	kerry	fox	,	goran	visnjic	,	emily	lloyd	,	james	nesbitt	,	igor	dzambazov	,	gordana	gadzic	.	produced	by	graham	broadbent	and	damian	jones	.	produced	by	graham	broadbent	and	damian	jones	.	script	by	frank	cottrell	boyce	(	based	on	the	book	"	natasha's	story	"	by	michael	nicholson	.	directed	by	michael	winterbottom	.	running	time	:	110	mins	.	rated	r	.	________________________________________________________________	the	central	focus	of	michael	winterbottom's	"	welcome	to	sarajevo	"	is	sarajevo	itself	,	the	city	under	siege	,	and	its	different	effect	on	the	characters	unfortunate	enough	to	be	stuck	there	.	it	proves	the	backdrop	for	a	stunningly	realized	story	which	refreshingly	strays	from	mythic	portents	(	"	platoon	"	)	,	racial	tumultuosness	(	the	risible	"	the	walking	dead	"	)	or	a	tinge	of	schmaltziness	(	"	schindler's	list	"	)	.	the	two	leads	,	stephen	dillane	as	a	reporter	and	emira	nusevic	as	an	orphan	with	a	plight	few	can	identify	with	,	are	extremely	believable	;	not	one	moment	with	them	involved	rings	false	.	the	question	is	not	what	went	right	.	the	question	is	what	went	wrong	.	for	one	,	the	film	fails	to	provide	a	political	overview	of	the	war	as	it	progresses	(	the	dillane	characters	reports	an	american	plane	departing	from	sarajevo	as	it	departs	,	and	that's	about	it	.	)	.	the	assortment	of	high	profile	supporting	actors	,	ranging	from	woody	harrelson	as	a	yankee	reporter	"	into	"	liquor	and	cigarrettes	to	marisa	tomei	as	a	huggable	children's	aid	or	somesuch	are	incapable	of	rising	above	the	sketchiness	of	their	characters	,	albeit	they	strive	.	the	interrupted	use	of	authentic	war	footage	somewhat	hampers	the	rest	of	the	film	,	it	makes	the	fictional	characters	seem	powerless	by	comparison	.	still	,	winterbottom	eschews	mawkishness	through	flashy	,	frantic	editing	and	imaginative	use	of	music	.	and	it's	a	plus	,	because	he	doesn't	toy	with	our	emotions	with	sentimental	blandness	.	he	wants	us	to	know	that	in	war	,	no	one	is	victorious	.
pos	painted	in	the	colors	of	rust	,	alejandro	gonzlez	iarritu's	amores	perros	is	a	hard	edged	epic	of	interconnected	lives	in	the	mean	streets	of	mexico	city	.	this	has	become	a	popular	trend	in	independent	films	such	as	wonderland	and	the	five	senses	,	not	to	mention	big	budget	blockbusters	like	traffic	.	by	blending	different	scenarios	,	there's	the	hope	of	creating	a	mass	collage	.	it's	not	as	easy	to	pull	off	as	you	might	think	consider	the	rhythm	of	your	standard	daytime	soap	opera	.	the	concept	of	three	juxtaposed	narratives	,	at	least	in	the	"	flavor	of	the	month	"	sense	,	can	be	traced	to	quentin	tarantino	,	as	can	the	gunslinging	desperados	and	pop	music	that	have	become	the	humdrum	trademark	of	pulp	fiction	imitators	.	iarritu	is	content	to	simply	rehash	those	familiar	elements	.	perhaps	that's	why	so	much	of	this	academy	award	nominated	foreign	film	comes	off	like	a	movie	you've	seen	more	than	once	,	translated	a	espanol	.	despite	the	cinematic	and	structural	predictability	and	an	exhausting	three	hour	running	time	,	amores	perros	finds	surprising	flickers	of	humanity	within	the	dead	end	lives	of	ex	convicts	,	losers	,	young	lovers	on	the	lam	,	and	hired	gunmen	.	these	almost	heroes	are	driven	by	an	unfinished	business	of	the	heart	,	most	notably	the	mysterious	phantom	hobo	,	el	chivo	(	emilio	echevarra	)	.	he's	a	contract	killer	(	yes	,	a	homeless	contract	killer	it's	not	played	for	laughs	)	for	some	elusive	businessmen	,	but	his	attention	is	drawn	away	by	an	unexpected	obituary	notice	that	triggers	memories	of	his	long	shrouded	past	.	this	sort	of	thing	only	happens	in	the	movies	,	but	let's	cut	iarritu	some	slack	here	.	el	chivo	lurks	throughout	the	other	two	stories	,	but	only	in	his	exclusive	section	(	the	final	third	of	the	film	)	does	the	heart	and	soul	of	amores	perros	emerge	.	retribution	is	not	seen	as	an	easy	mark	,	and	iarritu	puts	to	one	side	the	cheap	violence	and	sadistic	humor	of	his	previous	tales	,	replacing	it	with	the	empathetic	sorrow	of	a	distant	love	ballad	.	poetic	and	slighty	cheeseball	,	but	oh	so	sweet	.	it's	almost	too	little	too	late	.	example	:	one	of	the	parallel	stories	follows	a	young	buck	(	gael	garca	bernal	)	attempting	to	raise	money	to	run	away	from	home	with	his	beloved	sister	in	law	(	vanessa	bauche	)	.	he	finds	a	financially	lucrative	solution	in	pitting	the	family	pet	in	a	series	of	blood	soaked	dogfights	.	for	all	its	combustive	energy	,	it's	a	one	note	tragedy	as	he	makes	enemies	of	his	brother	and	the	local	goon	squad	.	things	fall	apart	in	a	predictable	hail	of	tears	and	bloodshed	.	the	other	subplot	steals	images	wholesale	from	krzysztof	kieslowski	,	presenting	the	arid	relationship	of	a	frivolous	supermodel	,	valeria	(	goya	toledo	)	and	her	boyfriend	,	a	successful	businessman	(	alvaro	guerrero	)	.	the	building	block	poster	of	valeria	across	the	street	from	her	dream	home	is	a	direct	lift	from	red	(	in	which	irene	jacob	played	a	petulant	model	,	natch	)	.	when	she	is	hospitalized	in	a	terrible	car	accident	,	the	event	that	brings	all	of	amores	perros'	characters	together	,	it	forces	her	to	reevaluate	her	empty	life	.	it'd	be	sad	if	she	weren't	such	an	annoying	phony	.	the	title	,	amores	perros	,	directly	translates	as	"	love's	a	bitch	.	"	meaning	,	life	stinks	.	it	also	means	,	literally	,	that	love	is	a	female	dog	.	that	explains	the	constant	presence	of	mutts	throughout	.	el	chivo	is	surrounded	by	runaway	scamps	,	the	supermodel	has	a	pampered	pooch	,	and	the	young	buck	has	his	attack	dog	.	it	sounds	a	little	too	neat	and	it	is	,	really	but	the	canines	provide	our	nasty	heroes	someone	who	they	can	relate	to	with	unconditional	affection	.	that	unabashed	sentiment	bridges	amores	perros	through	the	hyperkinetic	overdrive	of	whiplash	images	,	smash	cuts	,	and	the	pulsating	cacophony	of	street	noises	on	the	audio	track	.	it's	too	much	.	in	his	eager	passion	to	fill	amores	perros	with	explosive	imagery	,	iarritu	nearly	drowns	his	audience	in	visual	excess	.	if	he	doesn't	watch	out	,	he'll	turn	into	ridley	scott	.	let's	hope	not	.	this	fresh	new	filmmaker	does	make	the	most	of	his	locations	,	finding	the	epitome	of	downbeat	urban	squalor	(	you	can	almost	taste	the	mined	in	dirt	)	,	but	he	should	have	listened	to	dennis	hopper's	advice	in	tarantino's	true	romance	:	"	slooooooow	it	down	,	man	!	"	he's	got	an	eye	for	the	strong	visuals	representative	of	the	overcrowded	,	noisy	,	polluted	excess	of	mexico	city	.	now	all	he	needs	is	a	steady	gaze	.
pos	abortion	is	a	hot	political	topic	no	matter	which	side	of	the	fence	someone	is	on	.	those	that	lobby	for	and	against	a	patient's	right	to	choose	concentrate	on	the	pregnant	women	who	walk	into	clinics	.	but	what	about	those	who	perform	the	actual	procedures	?	how	are	their	lives	affected	?	on	hostile	ground	takes	a	closer	look	at	the	lives	of	three	doctors	who	provide	abortions	in	montana	,	alabama	,	and	upstate	new	york	.	they	vary	in	background	but	have	one	thing	in	common	:	they	are	picketed	and	persecuted	by	their	community	for	the	services	they	perform	.	after	seven	abortionist	killings	(	and	many	more	injured	)	,	shockwaves	have	shuddered	through	this	decreasing	sect	of	the	medical	community	.	this	documentary	puts	a	human	face	on	an	issue	rife	with	extremes	,	and	from	an	angle	seldom	considered	.	the	focus	shifts	from	doctor	to	archival	news	footage	to	what	members	of	the	community	have	to	say	.	unfortunately	,	this	exact	cycle	repeats	monotonously	throughout	the	73	minutes	.	news	footage	of	violence	becomes	repetitive	,	especially	when	it	is	related	to	the	same	case	.	every	now	and	then	these	dragging	stretches	of	scenes	are	punctuated	by	statistics	on	a	black	screen	or	shots	of	protesters	in	front	of	clinics	.	admirably	,	while	the	documentary	is	staunchly	pro	choice	,	this	is	captured	through	the	movie's	subjects	instead	of	heavy	handed	photography	.	because	the	doctors	talk	directly	to	the	camera	and	not	to	a	narrator	,	connection	is	a	little	easier	with	the	audience	,	no	matter	the	stance	.	the	statistics	that	are	utilized	aren't	trying	to	prove	or	disprove	the	right	to	choose	.	the	number	of	women	who	have	abortions	in	any	given	year	isn't	important	to	the	argument	.	the	numbers	concentrate	solely	on	the	number	of	professionals	in	the	field	of	abortionism	and	those	that	have	suffered	due	to	their	profession	.	unfortunately	,	though	the	doctors	profiled	have	compelling	personalities	and	views	,	to	hear	them	say	that	a	woman	should	have	the	right	to	choose	several	times	during	any	given	10	minute	span	tries	anyone's	attention	,	whether	you	agree	or	not	.	there	is	also	a	great	deal	of	extraneous	footage	that	isn't	quite	captivating	enough	to	sustain	focus	.	this	may	be	due	to	the	filmmakers	having	more	interesting	discussions	than	visuals	to	work	with	.	surprisingly	,	there	is	only	a	brief	mention	the	shooting	of	dr	.	gunn	in	florida	,	though	the	entire	basis	of	the	film	is	how	these	doctors	are	in	danger	.	dr	.	gunn	was	one	of	the	first	abortionist	victims	to	make	national	news	.	his	death	occurred	well	before	the	shooting	of	dr	.	slepian	,	of	whom	so	much	is	heard	during	the	course	of	on	hostile	ground	.	on	the	other	hand	,	on	hostile	ground	provides	a	complete	,	and	fairly	objective	,	portrait	of	the	communities	these	doctors	serve	.	the	christians	that	picket	the	offices	but	don't	get	violent	are	not	judged	for	their	convictions	,	either	by	the	filmmakers	or	the	doctors'	staffs	.	patients'	opinions	are	juxtaposed	against	other	local	residents	,	staff	who	work	with	clients	,	and	families	of	the	professionals	.	a	viewer	can	get	the	feel	of	what	it's	like	to	live	in	that	town	,	without	political	ideas	thrown	in	your	face	.	the	documentary	seeks	,	and	succeeds	,	in	putting	a	human	face	on	the	medical	practitioners	providing	health	services	to	those	who	choose	to	have	an	abortion	.	it	edges	on	preaching	wondering	if	the	extremists	that	shoot	such	people	are	any	better	than	those	they	harm	but	considering	the	severity	of	violence	,	this	is	easily	excused	.	it	could	have	been	shorter	,	but	the	lives	of	these	doctors	are	intriguing	enough	to	warrant	a	document	of	their	stories	.
pos	by	now	i	figured	i'd	seen	every	alfred	hitchcock	film	at	least	a	half	dozen	times	not	that	i'm	complaining	.	to	call	him	the	"	master	of	suspense	"	is	an	understatement	.	the	paradine	case	(	1947	)	,	admittedly	one	of	hitchcock's	lesser	movies	,	turned	out	to	be	one	i'd	missed	.	this	one	,	like	all	hitchcock	films	,	is	well	worth	savoring	.	the	story	opens	with	the	rich	mrs	.	maddalena	anna	paradine	being	arrested	in	her	home	for	poisoning	her	blind	husband	.	as	mrs	.	paradine	,	alida	valli	plays	an	aloof	but	alluring	woman	of	the	world	.	to	franz	waxman's	stark	and	moody	music	,	we	see	the	prison	guards	divesting	her	of	her	luxurious	garments	and	jewels	.	stripped	of	her	fine	raiment	,	she	becomes	a	commoner	again	,	which	,	as	it	turns	out	,	was	what	she	was	before	she	met	her	husband	.	"	a	brief	skirmish	,	and	you'll	be	lunching	at	the	savoy	again	,	"	anthony	keane	,	her	ultraconfident	attorney	tells	her	in	their	first	meeting	,	predicting	a	fast	and	easy	trial	.	gregory	peck	plays	the	successful	and	debonair	barrister	.	"	she's	no	murderess	,	"	he	argues	simplistically	,	smitten	by	her	beauty	.	"	she's	too	fine	a	woman	.	"	his	attitude	upsets	his	beautiful	and	increasing	jealous	wife	,	gay	(	ann	todd	)	.	unlike	most	hitchcock	movies	,	which	are	centered	on	the	thriller	and	the	mystery	,	this	one	is	more	a	romantic	melodrama	.	typical	is	the	scene	in	which	gay	flings	her	head	back	and	shakes	her	hair	while	bathed	in	light	.	she	deflects	her	husband's	affections	as	she	fears	that	he	is	beginning	to	fall	in	love	with	his	client	.	the	dramatic	music	then	comes	up	high	as	the	camera	dwells	on	mrs	.	paradine's	portrait	nearby	.	in	the	relatively	unsatisfying	first	half	,	little	happens	other	than	domestic	squabbles	and	overtones	of	intense	adulterous	desires	.	to	the	sound	of	sweeping	violins	gay	tells	anthony	that	he	must	get	mrs	.	paradine	acquitted	because	,	if	mrs	.	paradine	dies	,	his	heart	will	go	with	her	.	if	she	is	freed	,	he	will	be	able	to	forget	her	.	as	part	of	the	soap	opera	,	a	mysterious	louis	jordan	plays	mr	.	paradine's	valet	,	who	has	had	some	not	to	be	discussed	relationships	.	charles	coburn	plays	anthony's	legal	partner	,	sir	simon	flaquer	.	and	charles	laughton	,	who	looks	like	coburn	,	is	judge	lord	horfield	.	this	being	proper	british	society	,	they	will	all	dine	together	at	the	judge's	house	not	long	before	the	case	begins	.	court	tv	junkies	will	probably	pick	up	the	many	differences	,	some	subtle	and	others	not	,	between	the	american	and	the	british	judicial	systems	.	one	,	for	example	,	of	which	i	was	not	aware	is	that	the	barrister	cannot	speak	to	his	own	client	during	the	recess	if	she	is	the	process	of	testifying	.	one	sometimes	wonders	what	the	academy	is	thinking	when	they	make	their	oscar	nominations	.	as	the	judge's	wife	,	lady	sophie	horfield	,	ethel	barrymore	got	a	nomination	for	best	supporting	actress	the	film's	only	nomination	for	an	inconsequential	part	with	which	she	did	little	of	merit	.	(	so	the	big	question	is	when	does	hitchcock	make	his	obligatory	walk	on	?	at	37	minutes	into	the	film	,	he	leaves	a	train	station	carrying	a	large	musical	instrument	case	.	don't	miss	it	.	)	in	the	second	half	the	story	finally	comes	alive	when	it	gets	into	the	courtroom	.	the	great	master	shows	his	hand	there	as	the	tensions	build	as	rapidly	in	the	second	part	as	they	lay	fallow	in	the	first	.	watch	how	the	camera	angles	are	sometimes	from	the	back	and	other	times	from	way	on	high	to	set	the	exact	tone	for	the	trial's	action	.	as	anthony	explains	it	,	the	simple	case	has	only	3	possibilities	:	mr	.	paradine	poisoned	himself	,	mrs	.	paradine	did	it	,	or	the	valet	did	it	.	the	end	includes	many	devastating	revelations	and	some	nice	twists	so	it	is	too	bad	the	first	half	is	so	languid	.	the	paradine	case	runs	1	:	53	.	the	picture	is	in	black	and	white	.	it	is	not	rated	but	would	be	pg	for	mature	themes	and	would	be	fine	for	kids	around	nine	and	up	if	they	are	interested	.
pos	rating	:	1	2	out	of	8	.	5	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	craig	warnock	(	kevin	)	,	david	rappaport	(	randall	)	,	kenny	baker	(	fidgit	)	,	malcolm	dixon	(	strutter	)	,	mike	edmonds	(	og	)	,	jack	purvis	(	wally	)	,	tiny	ross	(	vermin	)	,	john	cleese	(	robin	hood	)	,	sean	connery	(	king	agamemnon	)	,	ian	holm	(	napoleon	)	,	ralph	richardson	(	supreme	being	)	,	david	warner	(	evil	genius	)	director	:	terry	gilliam	certification	:	pg	(	usa	)	for	mild	violence	year	of	production	:	1980	time	bandits	,	from	director	terry	gilliam	,	is	a	very	different	fantasy	action	adventure	movie	about	a	group	of	time	traveling	dwarves	,	led	by	randall	(	david	rappaport	)	,	who	have	stolen	a	map	of	the	universe	.	this	map	contains	time	hole	,	that	,	if	exploited	,	enable	the	men	to	travel	back	and	forth	through	time	.	the	supreme	being	of	the	universe	(	ralph	richardson	)	is	the	former	employer	of	these	treasure	seeking	bandits	,	and	he	wishes	desperately	to	regain	the	map	.	.	during	the	travels	,	he	appears	as	a	ghostly	face	,	demanding	that	they	return	the	map	that	they	have	stolen	.	but	,	according	to	randall	,	they	are	just	"	borrowing	"	it	.	kevin	,	a	young	boy	who	seems	quite	bored	with	his	life	,	is	unexpectedly	brought	into	the	schemes	of	the	little	men	when	they	appear	in	his	room	,	which	has	a	portal	for	time	traveling	.	he	joins	up	with	the	men	and	becomes	part	of	their	gang	,	following	them	on	their	robberies	.	their	first	victim	is	napoleon	(	ian	holm	)	,	whom	they	rob	during	a	battle	that	he	is	commanding	.	from	here	,	the	group	travels	to	the	middle	ages	,	meeting	up	with	robin	hood	himself	.	eventually	,	kevin	is	separated	from	the	group	and	travels	to	an	egyptian	time	where	he	is	taken	in	by	king	agamemnon	,	played	by	sean	connery	.	kevin	accidentally	saved	the	king's	life	,	and	the	king	wishes	to	have	kevin	as	his	son	.	but	the	group	of	bandits	find	kevin	and	transport	onto	the	deck	of	the	titanic	.	meanwhile	,	the	evil	genius	(	david	warner	)	is	watching	the	group	from	fortress	of	ultimate	darkness	,	attempting	to	find	a	way	in	order	to	bring	the	men	,	and	the	map	,	to	him	.	when	randall	learns	of	the	fortress	of	ultimate	darkness	,	which	supposedly	contains	"	the	most	fabulous	object	in	the	world	"	,	the	dollar	signs	seemingly	appear	on	his	eyes	,	as	he	is	convinced	that	they	must	travel	there	.	once	inside	the	fortress	of	ultimate	darkness	,	it	is	unclear	as	to	if	any	of	the	men	will	make	it	out	alive	.	time	bandits	is	a	fantastically	made	film	that	caters	to	the	imagination	of	anyone	.	with	a	terrific	soundtrack	,	courtesy	of	george	harrison	,	whom	also	was	an	executive	producer	,	time	bandits	is	sure	to	be	a	very	surrealistic	,	time	traveling	adventure	with	unforgettable	characters	that	is	sure	to	entertain	anyone	.	terry	gilliam	,	however	,	does	not	utilize	that	greatly	his	trademark	ability	in	moviemaking	during	this	film	,	although	this	does	not	affect	the	film	that	greatly	.	and	finally	,	if	you	liked	labyrinth	,	you'll	love	time	bandits	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	the	dream	team	is	a	thoroughly	entertaining	comedy	featuring	four	loveable	characters	who	just	happen	to	be	slightly	insane	.	billy	,	played	by	michael	keaton	,	is	an	extremely	temperamental	mental	ward	patient	whose	short	fuse	and	violent	tantrums	tend	to	get	him	in	trouble	.	christopher	lloyd	portrays	henry	,	an	obsessive	compulsive	who	requires	that	everything	be	neat	,	orderly	,	on	schedule	,	and	by	the	books	.	he	thinks	he's	a	doctor	so	he	walks	around	wearing	a	suit	and	carrying	a	clipboard	on	which	he	constantly	scribbles	notes	and	files	reports	.	jack	,	played	by	peter	boyle	,	thinks	he's	jesus	.	and	finally	,	there's	stephen	furst	as	albert	,	a	chubby	catatonic	who	speaks	only	in	baseball	and	television	phrases	.	the	dream	team	follows	the	misadventures	that	beset	the	four	some	when	their	psychiatrist	,	dr	.	weitzman	,	takes	them	out	of	the	hospital	for	a	field	trip	to	yankee	stadium	.	during	a	pit	stop	,	they	get	separated	from	weitzman	and	are	left	to	fend	for	themselves	in	manhattan	.	the	movie's	charm	derives	mostly	from	the	camaraderie	and	chemistry	between	its	delightful	cast	.	the	four	leads	in	the	film	play	off	each	other	quite	effectively	;	they	never	miss	an	opportunity	to	argue	,	bicker	,	or	insult	one	another	.	henry	and	jack	,	for	example	,	fight	over	who's	going	to	get	to	ride	in	the	front	passenger	seat	on	the	way	to	the	game	.	the	actors	in	the	dream	team	have	a	lot	of	fun	with	their	characters	and	with	each	other	.	michael	keaton	is	well	cast	as	billy	;	he	gives	his	cynical	character	considerable	complexity	.	as	the	divinely	jack	,	peter	boyle	succeeds	in	keeping	his	one	dimensional	character	funny	and	fresh	.	although	stephen	furst's	catatonic	character	is	cliched	,	the	actor	makes	him	sympathetic	and	endearing	.	while	keaton	,	boyle	,	and	furst	are	good	,	it's	christopher	lloyd	who	really	makes	the	movie	special	.	lloyd	gives	yet	another	outstanding	comic	performance	.	his	body	language	(	for	example	,	the	way	he	walks	)	and	his	facial	expressions	are	perfectly	suited	to	his	compulsive	character	.	lloyd's	brilliant	performance	yields	a	pathetic	,	moving	,	and	memorable	character	.	the	dream	team	is	a	solid	comedy	with	more	depth	and	drama	than	you	might	expect	from	its	simple	premise	.	the	characters	are	so	appealing	that	you	can	excuse	the	film	for	its	often	outlandish	and	unbelievable	plot	.
pos	rated	r	for	violence	and	gore	,	and	for	language	.	starring	:	bill	pullman	,	oliver	platt	,	bridget	fonda	.	'lake	placid'	is	definately	not	your	typical	creature	attacking	people	movie	,	ok	so	maybe	it	is	,	but	this	one	is	enjoyable	,	and	clever	.	actually	it	comes	off	more	of	a	comedy	than	a	horror	film	.	well	the	ending	is	kinda	scary	,	but	in	most	horror	comedies	they	are	.	i	will	admit	that	'lake	placid'	isn't	an	oscar	worthy	film	,	but	it	does	come	off	as	an	inventive	movie	that	is	original	and	funny	.	bridget	fonda	plays	a	palentologist	who	after	finding	out	her	boyfriend	is	cheating	,	is	forced	to	go	to	lake	placid	and	investigate	a	tooth	,	after	a	man	is	bit	in	half	.	she	gets	there	but	really	doesn't	understand	why	she	is	there	.	bill	pullman	plays	a	man	also	investigating	what	happened	,	along	with	the	sherriff	and	a	rich	croc	obsessed	man	,	they	go	out	and	find	what	is	going	on	.	what	they	find	though	isn't	great	.	a	huge	and	i	mean	huge	crocodile	is	living	in	lake	placid	,	over	150	years	old	,	he	has	migrated	here	for	who	knows	why	.	they	have	to	fight	against	the	croc	and	try	to	trap	him	so	they	can	study	him	and	see	where	he	came	from	.	betty	white	plays	a	woman	who	lives	on	the	shores	of	lake	placid	,	and	well	you'll	have	to	see	the	movie	to	find	out	.	her	character	is	very	funny	and	foul	mouthed	,	which	is	surprising	to	hear	betty	spew	words	and	phrases	that	are	pretty	bad	,	but	funny	.	to	me	the	movie	came	off	as	a	spoof	of	jaws	.	with	the	opening	sequence	,	and	some	others	,	it	is	not	original	and	is	.	when	you	watch	this	movie	,	you	definately	notice	the	smartness	and	cleverness	of	it	.	david	e	.	kelly	who	is	the	mastermind	of	the	practice	and	ally	mcbeal	,	writes	this	movie	with	ease	and	surprisingly	does	a	great	job	.	the	characters	have	smartmouths	,	two	foul	,	and	some	great	one	liners	.	but	believe	me	,	don't	take	'lake	placid'	too	seriously	or	you	won't	like	it	.	but	it	is	a	movie	that	can	be	enjoyed	as	a	fun	'popcorn'	type	movie	.	but	i	guess	it	rates	above	the	'popcorn'	rating	.	sit	back	,	watch	the	movie	,	laugh	,	scream	,	and	whatever	you	want	.	even	though	the	movie	is	r	,	and	i	put	violence	and	gore	.	there's	really	not	that	much	gore	,	but	what	there	is	might	seem	kinda	gross	to	some	.	'lake	placid'	is	a	smart	,	clever	,	funny	,	and	scary	movie	that	i	enjoyed	and	i	think	you	will	too	.	reviewed	:	july	21	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	movie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	charlie	sheen	stars	as	zane	,	a	radio	astronomer	who	listens	for	sounds	from	other	lifeforms	.	when	he	finally	gets	one	,	his	boss	destroys	the	tape	and	fires	him	.	naturally	,	zane	is	not	ready	to	give	up	,	and	he	comes	up	with	an	ingenious	way	to	do	this	himself	.	he	is	aided	by	a	young	neighborhood	kid	and	they	discover	that	the	sound	is	coming	from	mexico	.	so	zane	goes	down	there	to	investigate	,	and	runs	into	a	lady	studying	why	the	temperature	of	the	earth	has	dangerously	risen	so	suddenly	.	zane	is	having	marital	problems	at	the	time	,	and	an	offer	by	her	to	spend	the	night	with	him	is	very	tempting	.	hearing	charlie	sheen	deliver	the	line	,	"	i	guess	there	is	something	to	be	said	for	celibacy	"	is	the	funniest	thing	i	have	ever	heard	in	a	movie	since	matthew	broderick	discussed	asexual	reproduction	in	wargames	.	this	is	just	the	setup	,	and	i	don't	want	to	give	too	much	away	,	because	a	large	part	of	the	movies	fun	is	the	surprises	.	charlie	sheen	,	who	has	had	a	rocky	career	as	of	late	,	is	in	top	form	here	.	he	is	funny	,	serious	,	and	determined	to	accomplish	his	goal	.	sheen's	absolutely	terrific	performance	is	another	big	plus	to	this	movie	.	the	story	is	ingeniously	devised	by	twohy	,	who	also	wrote	and	directed	the	equally	clever	cable	movie	grand	tour	:	disaster	in	time	.	the	films	major	flaw	is	a	very	slow	pace	,	and	not	much	happens	in	the	earlygoings	.	viewers	may	be	growing	restless	for	a	while	,	but	trust	me	if	you	stick	around	and	keep	your	head	in	it	,	you	will	have	a	good	time	.
pos	a	thriller	set	in	modern	day	seattle	,	that	marked	marky	mark's	migration	from	the	"	good	vibrations	"	and	"	calvin	klein	undie	ad	"	guy	,	to	mark	wahlberg	,	thespian	at	large	,	and	a	mighty	good	one	at	that	.	plot	:	boy	(	wahlberg	)	meets	girl	(	witherspoon	)	.	boy	likes	girl	.	girl	likes	boy	.	boy	and	girl	begin	dating	.	parents	of	girl	aren't	crazy	about	the	boy	.	girl	steps	to	boy's	defense	.	family	problems	occur	.	girl	learns	more	about	the	boy	.	boy	goes	nuts	.	fun	ensues	.	critique	:	ever	wonder	what	would	happen	if	your	better	half	turned	out	to	be	someone	other	than	the	person	that	you	had	come	to	cherish	and	love	?	well	,	if	you	ever	have	,	then	this	film	is	definitely	for	you	.	it	isn't	the	most	original	premise	in	the	world	,	but	it	is	handled	pretty	well	here	,	and	pretty	quickly	for	that	matter	(	a	speedy	90	minutes	)	.	i	think	one	of	the	main	reasons	this	film	worked	for	me	is	the	groundbreaking	performance	by	mark	wahlberg	(	of	boogie	nights	infamy	(	7	.	5	10	)	.	he	completely	captured	all	the	goodness	,	and	badness	,	of	the	main	character	of	this	film	,	and	always	kept	me	wanting	to	see	more	and	more	of	him	(	his	performance	scored	him	a	solid	nomination	from	his	core	target	audience	,	as	"	best	villain	"	at	the	1997	mtv	movie	awards	)	.	the	soundtrack	is	also	very	effective	in	this	setting	,	and	of	course	,	the	slutty	performance	by	alyssa	milano	is	something	we	could	all	indulge	in	(	look	for	the	nice	bikini	and	butt	shots	.	.	.	if	you're	into	that	kind	of	thing	,	that	is	:	)	.	i	didn't	much	care	for	the	father	david	relationship	which	seemed	to	be	a	little	too	contrived	,	but	for	the	most	part	,	i	was	really	into	this	movie	.	then	again	,	daddy	dearest	did	have	one	of	the	coolest	lines	in	the	movie	when	his	wife	is	asking	him	what	the	"	big	deal	"	was	about	his	daughter	dating	david	.	his	reply	:	"	the	big	deal	is	that	the	guy	gives	me	the	creeps	,	and	the	girl	is	my	daughter	.	"
pos	moon	over	parador	(	1988	)	1	4	.	produced	and	directed	by	paul	mazursky	.	written	by	leon	capetanos	and	mazursky	,	from	a	story	by	charles	g	.	booth	.	photography	,	donald	mcalpine	.	editing	,	stuart	pappe	.	production	design	,	pato	guzman	.	music	,	maurice	jarre	.	cast	:	richard	dreyfuss	,	raul	julia	,	sonia	braga	,	jonathan	winters	,	fernando	rey	,	sammy	davis	,	jr	.	,	michael	greene	,	polly	holliday	,	charo	,	marianne	sagebrecht	,	carlotta	gerson	(	paul	mazursky	)	,	lorin	dreyfuss	.	a	universal	release	.	105	minutes	.	pg	13	.	perhaps	the	first	movie	i	remember	in	which	a	double	takes	the	place	of	a	bad	leader	and	does	good	things	for	his	people	was	the	prisoner	of	zenda	.	since	then	there	have	been	many	such	substitutions	on	the	screen	.	that's	what	moon	over	parador	does	too	.	it's	not	the	most	original	of	ideas	,	but	then	the	film	makes	no	bones	about	the	fact	that	it	keeps	dippily	dipping	into	the	past	,	putting	old	wines	into	not	so	new	bottles	.	sometimes	it	even	shouts	this	,	sometimes	it's	a	passing	mention	,	sometimes	it	leaves	the	recognition	entirely	up	to	the	public	.	mop	is	remarkably	low	key	,	even	quiet	,	given	its	context	.	although	it's	a	farce	,	it	does	not	suffer	from	the	frantic	tempo	or	actors'	hysterics	and	raucousness	than	can	spoil	many	a	comedy	,	not	to	mention	farces	.	the	plot	is	blessedly	straightforward	and	unpretentious	.	an	american	movie	crew	has	just	wrapped	up	shooting	in	parador	city	,	the	capital	of	a	latin	american	banana	dictatorship	(	parador	means	"	inn	"	in	spanish	)	.	one	of	the	cast	is	jack	noah	(	richard	dreyfuss	)	.	his	first	allegiance	is	to	the	new	york	stage	.	he	is	very	much	the	new	york	thespian	.	bizarre	american	retiree	jonathan	winters	talks	him	into	staying	around	for	the	carnival	.	jack	looks	a	great	deal	like	simms	,	the	country's	military	dictator	.	he	also	does	a	good	imitation	of	him	.	boozer	wencher	simms	,	has	a	heart	attack	in	his	limousine	,	where	he	dies	in	the	arms	of	roberto	strausmann	(	raul	julia	)	,	head	of	the	secret	police	and	the	regime's	grey	eminence	.	strausmann	,	who	is	in	cahoots	with	the	"	14	families	"	that	oppress	the	people	,	fears	that	too	sudden	an	announcement	of	the	leader's	demise	could	result	in	chaos	and	revolution	.	he	makes	jack	one	of	those	offers	one	cannot	refuse	:	to	impersonate	simms	.	jack	is	nimble	,	jack	is	quick	,	and	before	you	can	say	jack	robinson	,	the	impostor	has	made	himself	up	like	simms	and	is	fooling	everybody	.	well	,	almost	everyone	.	the	members	of	simms'	household	are	not	taken	in	,	but	they	too	have	a	stake	in	keeping	up	the	masquerade	.	not	only	playing	,	but	being	simms	becomes	the	part	of	jack's	life	.	he	thrives	in	it	,	even	embellishes	it	.	when	sonia	braga	,	as	madonna	(	sic	)	,	the	late	dictator's	numero	uno	mistress	,	transfers	her	affections	to	the	impersonator	,	no	work	and	all	play	make	jack	a	bright	boy	.	he	stays	on	and	on	,	makes	gradual	changes	in	the	land	,	replaces	the	national	anthem's	melody	(	o	tannenbaum	)	with	that	of	besa	me	mucho	;	leads	"	his	"	people	in	tv	weight	loss	exercises	;	takes	other	drastic	measures	to	help	the	poor	before	staging	cannily	his	return	to	new	york	.	(	although	the	movie	is	set	in	parador	,	new	york	is	very	much	present	,	as	a	framing	device	and	with	its	theatre	as	jack's	standard	by	which	everything	is	evaluated	.	all	this	is	cleverly	done	,	with	good	insights	)	.	to	expect	substance	,	deep	intentions	or	ideas	in	this	movie	is	to	be	looking	for	something	quite	different	from	what	mazursky	and	capetanos	had	in	mind	.	the	filmmakers	are	interested	only	in	gentle	farce	,	not	in	three	dimensionality	.	moon	is	far	closer	to	the	marx	brothers'	anarchic	nonsense	(	and	woody	allen's	bananas	)	than	to	frank	capra	's	constructive	comedies	.	the	focal	point	is	not	the	story	,	but	the	one	man	show	by	dreyfuss	,	and	its	comical	trimmings	.	dreyfuss	is	as	amazingly	good	as	he	has	been	in	the	last	many	years	.	on	the	face	of	it	,	jack	is	the	picture's	most	outlandish	type	,	yet	in	some	ways	he	is	the	most	credible	,	since	he	doesn't	let	you	forget	that	first	and	last	he	is	an	actor	submerged	in	his	craft	,	insecure	,	avid	for	pats	on	the	back	and	reassuring	applause	.	he	joins	the	roster	of	other	movie	impersonators	,	especially	people	like	jack	benny	and	mel	brooks	who	,	in	the	two	versions	of	to	be	or	not	to	be	ham	it	up	because	their	models	are	already	hams	.	director	mazursky	himself	is	in	the	movie	,	as	simms'	mother	,	a	la	charley's	aunt	.	but	there's	a	difference	:	as	soon	as	dreyfuss	assumes	the	role	of	simms	,	he	becomes	entirely	confident	,	simultaneously	laid	back	,	self	mocking	and	eager	.	it's	much	harder	to	do	than	it	sounds	,	or	for	that	matter	,	than	it	looks	.	ask	any	non	envious	professional	.	mop	creates	no	characters	and	does	not	intend	to	.	most	of	its	people	remain	in	the	background	,	save	for	raul	julia	who	delivers	an	amusingly	mock	sinister	performance	but	even	he	is	there	primarily	to	propel	dreyfuss	along	.	sonia	braga	is	no	more	than	cake	frosting	.	jonathan	winters	does	some	excellent	small	shticks	which	deride	the	u	.	s	.	presence	in	latin	america	,	something	that	is	also	implied	by	the	anglo	saxon	name	of	dictator	simms	.	but	,	again	,	forget	about	the	political	satire	:	what	we	have	is	caricature	used	for	the	needs	of	the	story	,	carrying	no	weight	of	its	own	.	it	is	rich	in	comic	inventions	and	fresh	bits	of	business	.	it	is	also	a	compendium	of	in	jokes	and	in	references	to	current	events	and	older	movies	.	like	the	french	new	wave	filmmakers	who	influenced	him	enormously	,	mazursky	throws	in	with	abandon	a	cornucopia	of	allusions	.	the	very	title	of	the	film	parodies	the	1941	betty	grable	vehicle	moon	over	miami	,	a	semi	musical	with	switched	identities	.	there's	ironic	nostalgic	use	of	the	flashback	structure	of	so	many	1940s	movies	,	as	moo	opens	with	jack	back	in	new	york	recounting	his	parador	adventure	.	the	name	of	paraguay's	then	dictator	general	stroessner	becomes	straussmann	(	raul	julia	)	,	which	additionally	stresses	the	germans	or	nazis	in	latin	america	.	"	round	up	the	usual	suspects	,	"	the	famous	line	from	casablanca	is	used	.	there's	a	starry	eyed	comparison	of	that	movie's	finale	with	moon's	.	the	sets	imitate	indirectly	the	technicolor	exotic	resort	movies	of	mazursky's	youth	.	and	much	more	.	this	comedy	is	so	determinedly	a	fantasy	that	i	doubt	it	could	offend	hispanic	sensibilities	.	oddly	,	the	peak	of	its	planned	illogicality	is	not	immediately	apparent	.	you	may	get	distracted	by	the	broad	shenanigans	and	forget	that	dreyfuss	simms	speaks	spanish	accented	english	throughout	,	when	,	even	by	the	elastic	norms	of	farce	,	he	should	be	speaking	spanish	.	you	can't	get	more	unrealistic	than	this	.	there's	a	very	funny	morsel	where	jack	,	about	to	board	a	helicopter	,	gestures	to	the	reporters	in	the	patented	smiling	,	helpless	"	i	can't	hear	over	this	din	"	way	of	ronald	reagan	.	the	public	got	this	one	when	the	movie	came	out	,	but	how	many	new	generations	will	catch	on	later	?	it	will	be	as	in	many	of	the	other	gags	,	which	,	back	in	1988	,	were	there	for	older	memories	.	how	many	people	knew	then	or	know	now	"	besame	mucho	,	"	the	songs	from	"	the	man	of	la	mancha	,	"	the	fact	that	"	tannenbaum	"	is	a	teutonic	song	?	paul	mazursky	,	who	was	58	when	the	film	was	released	,	may	have	overestimated	the	potential	complicity	of	his	public	.	then	again	,	he	might	have	relying	on	the	younger	audience's	satisfaction	with	the	general	outline	of	the	movie	,	and	on	the	older	people's	enhanced	comprehension	.	it's	a	risky	strategy	which	bespeaks	more	of	mazursky	as	a	nostalgic	film	buff	than	as	a	calculating	businessman	.	at	105	minutes	,	mop	could	just	be	a	tad	too	long	for	those	who	don't	get	immersed	in	the	spirit	of	its	details	,	which	,	in	their	eyes	,	can	make	the	film	falter	and	some	jokes	strain	a	bit	in	its	latter	parts	.	for	myyself	and	other	spectators	the	diffusion	is	an	asset	.	(	my	own	small	objection	is	the	gratuitous	intrusion	of	sammy	davis	,	jr	.	whose	singing	is	not	exactly	a	joy	)	.	yet	even	unpruned	,	this	is	still	a	splendidly	entertaining	movie	movie	.	it	is	a	bright	moon	.	it	was	shot	entirely	in	brazil	.	production	values	are	high	.	maurice	jarre's	score	is	agreeable	,	though	some	moments	sounded	to	me	like	a	paraphrase	of	the	delerue	music	in	jules	and	jim	.	parador	looks	lovely	.	between	its	tourist	beauties	at	poolside	and	the	promiscuous	locals	it	would	be	a	great	place	for	social	diseases	.	"	le	mauvais	gout	mene	au	crime	"	(	stendhal	)	edwin	jahiel's	movie	reviews	are	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	"	http	:	www	.	prairienet	.	org	ejahiel	a
pos	paramount	,	mtv	films	,	rated	r	(	some	sexuality	and	related	dialogue	,	some	graphic	language	)	,	105	minutes	.	reese	witherspoon	,	matthew	broderick	,	chris	klein	.	screenplay	by	alexander	payne	and	jim	taylor	.	directed	by	alexander	payne	.	(	note	:	there	are	spoilers	regarding	the	film's	climax	;	the	election	,	of	course	)	we	see	matthew	broderick	,	a	man	torn	to	a	primal	state	;	he's	been	unfaithful	to	his	wife	,	lied	to	and	manipulated	his	students	,	and	by	the	same	token	they've	demeaned	his	masculinity	,	his	self	respect	,	his	desperate	attempt	at	changing	the	world	.	and	yet	,	he	equates	the	cause	of	his	pain	,	his	torment	,	with	tracy	flick	(	reese	witherspoon	)	.	no	matter	how	many	students	have	come	and	gone	,	and	disappointed	him	as	an	educator	,	she's	the	real	threat	.	about	to	give	in	,	and	divulge	that	she's	won	by	only	a	lone	vote	,	broderick's	mccalister	turns	in	defeat	,	sees	tracy's	euphoric	celebration	in	the	outside	corridor	and	says	,	'no'	.	the	fact	that	he	simultaneously	lusts	after	her	ideologically	further	illustrates	that	freudian	foundation	of	entitlement	which	all	men	,	no	matter	how	obscure	,	have	in	their	relationships	;	a	traditional	expectation	of	success	,	to	usurp	and	surpass	women	as	a	proverbial	industry	.	she	can't	go	higher	than	him	.	he	won't	allow	it	.	and	what's	amazing	about	"	election	"	is	that	every	word	of	that	criticism	is	drawn	from	a	rather	opaque	metaphor	.	early	in	the	film	we	learn	that	tracy	was	romantically	,	and	then	sexually	,	involved	with	a	now	departed	teacher	.	it's	like	payne	and	taylor	,	his	co	screenwriter	,	have	taken	tracy	,	a	girl	desperate	for	friendship	,	loyalty	,	and	almost	perversely	drawn	the	mythological	pattern	of	kids	who	were	so	utterly	rejected	by	their	peers	,	that	they	found	sitting	at	the	teachers'	lunch	table	more	fitting	,	to	an	unlikely	extreme	with	her	as	the	protagonist	.	and	it's	amazing	the	compassion	that	we	have	;	it	seems	so	real	to	us	,	and	not	merely	because	it's	happened	before	,	splashed	all	over	the	front	pages	,	but	,	because	of	the	all	around	"	nice	"	persona	of	these	people	,	we	easily	dismiss	the	truly	wayward	deeds	of	the	characters	.	it's	with	mandy	barnett's	"	if	you'll	be	the	teacher	"	playing	winsomely	over	the	closing	credits	that	payne	skewers	the	tenets	of	his	detractors	most	;	a	final	,	viscous	injection	of	bittersweet	irony	.	sexuality	,	though	,	is	not	the	only	basis	for	payne's	satire	,	or	its	success	.	it	also	makes	a	telling	point	about	politics	,	friendship	,	and	class	boundaries	.	satire	is	required	(	or	ought	to	be	,	anyway	)	to	take	itself	seriously	,	or	act	so	,	while	the	audience	does	not	.	it's	a	fine	line	to	straddle	,	but	some	films	ignore	it	altogether	(	"	drop	dead	gorgeous	"	leaps	infuriatingly	to	mind	)	.	payne	and	taylor	hit	the	right	chord	;	their	characters	are	real	people	:	neither	is	perfect	,	but	rather	both	of	the	leads	are	flawed	,	misguided	individuals	who	retain	,	somewhat	,	noble	intentions	at	heart	.	we	sympathize	with	them	,	but	still	,	as	a	satire	,	their	idiosyncratic	behavior	,	and	their	wrongdoing	,	is	taken	to	an	extreme	for	the	audience	to	knowingly	chuckle	,	but	also	reflect	and	meditate	,	about	.	minus	half	a	point	,	though	,	for	payne	admitting	not	to	having	seen	"	ferris	bueller's	day	off	"	.	whatever	.
pos	rated	pg	13	starring	kevin	kline	,	michelle	pfeiffer	,	rupert	everett	,	stanley	tucci	,	calista	flockhart	,	anna	friel	,	christian	bale	,	dominic	west	,	david	strathairn	,	sophie	marceau	based	on	the	play	by	william	shakespeare	written	and	directed	by	michael	hoffman	there	really	is	no	need	for	me	to	mention	it	,	but	shakespeare	is	hotter	than	ever	.	shakespeare	in	love	won	best	picture	,	and	more	than	a	few	teen	movies	are	using	the	bard	as	inspiration	.	we	knew	it	wouldn't	be	long	before	we	had	another	period	piece	shakespeare	adaptation	.	the	film	is	michael	hoffman's	rich	,	opulent	adaptation	of	william	shakespeare's	a	midsummer	night's	dream	.	this	version	of	a	midsummer	night's	dream	moves	the	setting	to	italy	towards	the	end	of	the	19th	century	.	it	is	the	story	of	one	night	when	all	sorts	of	unexpected	twists	occur	involving	a	few	couples	falling	in	and	out	of	love	.	demetrius	(	christian	bale	)	,	is	set	to	be	wed	to	hermia	(	anna	friel	)	,	who	actually	is	in	love	with	lysander	(	dominic	west	)	.	since	hermia	doesn't	want	to	be	forced	into	unwanted	wedlock	,	she	runs	away	into	the	forest	with	lysander	.	but	that	is	not	before	they	tell	helena	(	calista	flockhart	)	,	who	is	starved	for	demetrius'	affection	,	of	their	plans	.	helena	then	tells	demetrius	of	their	flight	,	and	he	rushes	into	the	forest	,	followed	by	helena	.	it	is	there	that	all	four	of	them	encounter	puck	(	stanley	tucci	)	,	a	fairy	who	administers	a	love	potion	that	will	make	a	person	fall	in	love	with	the	next	person	he	sees	.	puck	also	works	his	magic	on	the	fairy	queen	(	michelle	pfeiffer	)	,	who	falls	in	love	with	an	actor	(	kevin	kline	)	who	is	turned	into	a	donkey	,	while	the	fairy	king	(	rupert	everett	)	makes	some	observations	of	his	own	.	michael	hoffman	(	one	fine	day	,	restoration	)	works	wonders	with	a	superb	ensemble	cast	;	the	standouts	being	pfeiffer	,	kline	,	and	calista	flockhart	,	who	takes	a	step	away	from	"	ally	mcbeal	"	.	the	film	is	shot	wondrously	on	location	by	oliver	stapleton	(	the	grifters	,	one	fine	day	)	,	who	makes	the	play	seem	anything	but	stagy	.	a	midsummer	night's	dream	is	a	fine	film	,	but	if	there	is	a	problem	to	be	mentioned	,	it	is	the	film's	length	.	at	115	minutes	,	the	movie	is	too	long	to	just	be	taken	as	a	light	comedy	,	and	there	isn't	much	in	the	way	of	drama	to	hold	a	viewer's	attention	.	although	i	am	unfamiliar	with	the	play	,	there	doesn't	seem	to	be	much	original	work	added	to	this	production	,	despite	the	change	in	location	.	but	all	in	all	,	a	midsummer	night's	dream	is	a	funny	,	lush	tribute	to	the	bard's	greatness	.	.	.	and	newfound	popularity	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	"	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	rated	r	starring	jennifer	jason	leigh	,	jude	law	,	willem	dafoe	,	ian	holm	,	don	mckellar	,	callum	keith	rennie	,	sarah	polley	,	christopher	eccleston	,	willem	dafoe	written	and	directed	by	david	cronenberg	i	find	it	a	bit	ironic	that	while	the	matrix	is	racking	in	huge	numbers	at	the	box	office	,	david	cronenberg's	similar	,	astonishing	existenz	can't	even	crack	the	top	10	.	but	even	if	existenz	disappears	into	obscurity	,	it	is	not	a	film	that	i	will	easily	forget	.	to	give	away	too	much	of	existenz'	plot	would	be	a	sin	,	but	i	will	provide	for	you	the	initial	setup	.	jennifer	jason	leigh	makes	her	big	screen	return	,	after	a	2	year	hiatus	(	does	anyone	remember	a	thousand	acres	?	i	didn't	think	so	)	,	as	allegra	geller	,	who	,	sometime	in	the	near	future	,	is	the	world's	most	distinguished	virtual	reality	game	designer	.	a	group	of	people	have	been	gathered	into	a	room	to	test	her	newest	adventure	,	called	existenz	.	the	meeting	turns	into	chaos	,	and	allegra	is	forced	to	flee	with	her	bodyguard	(	jude	law	)	.	the	game	of	existenz	is	not	the	normal	virtual	reality	game	that	you	would	find	in	stores	today	.	in	existenz	,	you	are	living	the	game	,	and	at	times	your	mind	begins	to	lose	grasp	on	the	difference	between	the	game	and	reality	.	the	matrix	made	a	similar	point	in	a	more	complicated	way	,	that	sometimes	the	lines	of	reality	are	blurred	.	existenz	ends	up	playing	like	an	indie	version	of	the	matrix	that	spends	more	time	on	smarts	than	on	violence	.	while	existenz	is	not	as	showy	as	the	matrix	,	its	ending	is	much	more	thought	provoking	.	1999	is	turning	out	to	be	the	year	that	sci	fi	makes	its	big	return	.	i	am	definitely	not	a	sci	fi	buff	,	but	with	existenz	and	the	matrix	being	released	even	before	the	new	star	wars	,	this	year	looks	to	be	the	year	of	science	fiction	.	existenz	not	only	marks	the	return	of	jennifer	jason	leigh	,	but	it	is	also	the	first	film	that	david	cronenberg	has	made	since	1996's	erotic	car	crash	thriller	(	?	)	crash	.	the	canadian	filmmaker	is	known	for	his	unique	visual	sense	,	and	his	ability	to	create	new	worlds	.	existenz	is	one	of	his	very	best	films	.	also	,	ian	holm	and	sarah	polley	(	both	of	the	sweet	hereafter	)	have	small	roles	,	proving	that	when	you	put	those	two	in	a	movie	together	,	good	things	happen	.	existenz	is	not	a	perfect	film	,	but	it	will	be	remembered	by	me	as	one	of	the	year's	best	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	"	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	the	most	amazing	thing	about	paul	cox's	innocence	is	how	unlike	a	movie	it	is	.	i	mean	that	as	the	highest	compliment	.	if	most	studios	were	to	profile	an	elderly	couple	who	rekindle	a	40	year	old	romance	,	i'd	want	to	run	and	hide	.	the	sex	scenes	would	be	handled	as	a	farce	,	producers	would	shed	20	years	off	the	characters'	ages	(	so	susan	sarandon	and	harrison	ford	could	star	)	and	true	love	would	shine	through	any	obstacle	without	explanation	and	consequence	.	along	with	a	charming	romantic	story	,	the	australian	belgian	innocence	shows	how	an	increasing	sense	of	mortality	combined	with	revisiting	the	past	while	being	entrenched	in	the	present	can	make	something	that	seems	so	right	seem	downright	questionable	.	the	romance	gets	started	when	former	musician	andreas	(	charles	"	bud	"	tingwell	)	,	learns	that	his	true	love	,	claire	(	julia	blake	)	,	lives	nearby	.	they	decide	to	catch	up	on	old	times	,	but	soon	find	themselves	in	a	reinvigorating	affair	.	complicating	matters	is	andreas'	frail	health	,	and	claire's	longtime	husband	(	terry	norris	)	,	who	can't	understand	why	he's	suddenly	become	obsolete	.	in	my	mind	,	the	movie	is	less	about	the	relationship	between	andreas	and	claire	,	than	the	feelings	of	everyone	involved	.	john	,	claire's	husband	,	endlessly	questions	what	he	did	wrong	.	claire	initially	insists	she's	a	grown	up	,	but	admittedly	behaves	like	a	child	,	a	prospect	that	thrills	and	disappoints	her	.	andreas	,	an	agnostic	,	begins	to	question	his	fate	,	a	message	cox	delivers	in	a	memorable	dream	sequence	.	cox	litters	the	movie	with	flashbacks	,	including	the	repeated	vision	of	a	roaring	train	.	it's	a	reminder	of	andreas	and	claire's	past	love	(	as	young	lovers	,	they	met	by	train	)	,	but	as	it	recurs	,	we	get	the	feeling	that	the	past	and	the	present	have	clashed	.	a	pall	is	cast	on	the	whole	affair	.	a	master	of	the	understated	,	cox	strings	together	a	series	of	memorable	moments	.	in	andreas'	dream	sequence	,	amidst	the	roar	of	the	train	and	conversations	,	we	get	the	whole	picture	of	andreas	and	claire's	love	.	we	also	get	glimpses	into	john	and	claire's	relationship	.	during	a	silent	candlelit	dinner	shortly	afterward	,	claire	admits	to	john	about	her	indiscretion	,	telling	more	than	any	monologue	could	.	all	that's	heard	is	the	scraping	of	forks	against	plates	.	the	characters	are	unlike	anything	i've	seen	they're	people	.	so	many	times	,	movies	and	especially	television	portray	senior	citizens	as	gratingly	spunky	.	or	they're	reduced	to	comedic	buffoons	.	ordinary	people	with	a	pile	of	emotions	,	claire	and	andreas	aren't	sure	what	the	next	step	is	.	they	do	want	to	be	happy	,	which	consists	of	an	entirely	different	set	of	conditions	than	what	they've	known	throughout	their	adult	lives	.	bravo	to	cox	,	who	wrote	the	script	,	for	not	making	john	a	monster	,	so	that	claire's	affair	is	automatically	justified	.	norris	is	so	effective	as	john	that	he	makes	andreas	and	claire's	love	difficult	to	accept	.	we	feel	for	him	.	he's	a	decent	man	.	sure	,	he	may	have	become	complacent	,	but	he	never	expected	this	,	especially	now	.	with	so	much	presented	to	the	audience	,	it's	only	expected	that	the	material	gets	a	little	drawn	out	and	repetitive	,	which	it	does	.	however	,	in	bringing	up	tough	questions	and	not	offering	easy	answers	,	cox	displays	a	skill	and	lan	isn't	likely	to	be	surpassed	by	anyone	anytime	soon	.
pos	virus	(	1999	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1999	justin	felix	.	this	review	also	appears	in	the	shrubbery	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	0299	movie2	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	0299	movie2	.	html	a	all	of	my	film	reviews	are	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	written	by	dennis	feldman	and	jonathan	hensleigh	.	based	upon	the	comic	book	virus	by	chuck	pfarrer	.	directed	by	john	bruno	.	starring	jamie	lee	curtis	,	william	baldwin	,	and	donald	sutherland	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	,	profanity	,	and	excessive	gore	)	approx	.	90	mins	.	synopsis	:	an	energy	life	force	from	outer	space	smashes	through	the	mir	space	station	and	rockets	down	to	a	huge	soviet	ship	.	a	week	later	,	a	sinking	salvage	boat	named	the	sea	star	trapped	in	the	eye	of	a	typhoon	encounters	the	soviet	ship	.	the	sea	star's	ragtag	crew	boards	the	soviet	vessel	and	discovers	the	alien	life	force	is	creating	biomechanical	lifeforms	with	spare	parts	from	machines	and	people	.	comments	:	so	,	what	do	you	get	when	you	mix	alien	,	the	abyss	,	leviathan	,	deep	rising	,	screamers	,	terminator	,	and	star	trek	:	first	contact	with	just	a	touch	of	halloween	in	a	blender	(	if	mixing	movies	in	a	blender	were	,	indeed	,	possible	)	?	well	,	you'd	get	virus	,	universal's	much	delayed	new	sci	fi	thriller	.	this	film	,	to	the	best	of	my	recollection	,	was	supposed	to	come	out	in	august	,	but	someone	in	the	studio	was	nervous	about	having	two	horror	films	starring	jamie	lee	curtis	come	out	at	nearly	the	same	time	.	(	dimension's	halloween	:	h20	was	released	around	that	time	.	)	so	,	universal	opted	to	bury	the	movie	in	mid	january	among	several	high	quality	oscar	contenders	and	romances	for	upcoming	valentine's	day	.	smart	.	those	of	us	who	want	to	see	this	movie	,	me	for	instance	,	have	to	battle	knee	high	snow	drifts	and	frozen	car	doors	just	to	get	to	the	local	theater	.	winter	season	in	ohio	,	like	most	of	the	northeast	,	has	been	especially	cruel	this	year	.	nonetheless	,	i	managed	to	get	out	to	see	virus	on	opening	night	,	and	i'm	glad	i	did	.	though	by	far	not	an	original	movie	,	virus	contains	enough	cool	special	effects	for	its	audience	to	overlook	its	many	inherent	flaws	.	one	of	these	flaws	,	as	you	may	well	deduce	from	my	opening	comment	,	is	that	virus	"	borrows	"	heavily	from	many	other	sci	films	.	the	basic	plot	comes	directly	from	alien	.	this	plot	has	been	used	,	to	varying	degrees	of	effectiveness	,	in	countless	motion	pictures	.	basically	,	the	screenwriter	puts	a	group	of	people	on	a	ship	,	or	some	other	isolated	area	,	and	has	them	hunted	by	some	sort	of	alien	or	monster	.	usually	,	this	creature	kills	all	but	one	or	two	of	the	crew	,	and	this	(	these	)	survivor	(	s	)	kill	(	s	)	the	creature	in	the	end	.	the	creature	in	virus	is	an	alien	energy	life	form	thingie	creating	all	sorts	of	different	biomechanical	monsters	to	terrorize	the	crew	of	the	doomed	sea	star	.	you'll	recognize	these	creations	right	away	if	you're	a	sci	fi	fan	.	tiny	mechanical	spiders	from	runaway	.	human	sized	borg	people	from	star	trek	:	first	contact	.	etc	.	to	be	honest	,	this	creative	"	borrowing	"	really	didn't	bother	me	all	that	much	.	they	say	it's	hard	to	be	original	.	i	don't	know	.	technically	,	though	,	the	special	effects	in	this	film	are	surprisingly	effective	.	some	may	not	like	them	because	they	are	,	at	times	,	quite	gruesome	,	but	most	will	probably	get	a	kick	out	of	them	like	my	brother	and	i	did	.	besides	,	certain	parts	of	this	movie	are	so	absurd	that	they	lend	enough	disbelief	to	counter	any	real	disgust	one	may	get	from	seeing	dismembered	body	parts	and	the	like	.	the	actors	in	virus	do	a	lot	to	offset	any	genuine	terror	the	movie	may	engender	.	donald	sutherland	,	a	longtime	character	actor	who	has	appeared	in	such	classic	sci	fi	films	as	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	and	puppet	masters	,	is	ridiculously	over	the	top	as	the	sea	star's	greedy	captain	.	one	set	of	lines	he	delivered	halfway	through	the	film	had	the	entire	theater	laughing	;	it	was	that	cheesy	.	william	baldwin	plays	the	male	lead	.	is	it	just	me	,	or	does	billy	baldwin	seem	like	an	actor	you	just	can't	take	seriously	?	he	almost	always	looks	goofily	perplexed	.	one	of	the	minor	characters	tried	to	play	the	best	queequeg	he	could	(	someone	put	tattoos	over	his	face	to	make	him	look	even	more	like	the	harpooner	from	moby	dick	)	.	only	jamie	lee	curtis	is	really	convincing	here	.	curtis	is	an	accomplished	actress	capable	of	many	genres	.	she	can	do	comedy	,	action	,	and	drama	equally	well	.	but	,	first	and	foremost	in	my	mind	,	curtis	is	a	horror	actress	,	the	scream	queen	.	she	had	her	start	in	such	early	slasher	films	as	terror	train	,	prom	night	,	and	the	quintessential	slice	and	dice	classic	halloween	.	she	was	also	quite	memorable	in	john	carpenter's	overlooked	atmospheric	ghost	story	the	fog	.	it's	good	to	see	her	back	in	her	element	again	.	in	virus	,	she	first	seems	to	assume	a	ripley	like	(	the	heroine	of	the	alien	saga	)	character	,	but	,	surprisingly	,	she	doesn't	stay	"	tough	"	through	the	movie	.	instead	,	she	becomes	so	terrified	as	to	be	nearly	paralyzed	.	nobody	can	pull	this	off	better	than	curtis	.	she	was	perfect	as	the	threatened	babysitter	in	the	original	halloween	,	and	she	pulls	off	the	scared	out	of	her	wits	female	lead	without	the	camp	the	other	actors	put	into	their	roles	.	overall	,	virus	is	an	entertaining	sci	fi	thriller	which	makes	for	a	pretty	good	saturday	afternoon	matinee	feature	.	fans	of	the	genre	will	pick	up	on	a	number	of	the	sources	for	the	creatures	and	storyline	,	but	they'll	still	enjoy	it	.	what	variation	of	the	same	theme	will	hollywood	churn	out	next	?	let's	hope	it's	even	better	than	this	.	virus	,	after	all	,	is	a	huge	step	above	the	insipid	deep	rising	,	last	winter's	horror	on	a	huge	ship	floating	in	the	middle	of	nowhere	movie	.	virus	is	rated	r	for	a	lot	of	violence	and	gore	sequences	.	it	gets	pretty	intense	at	times	,	so	i	wouldn't	recommend	parents	taking	the	youngsters	to	it	.
pos	my	first	thought	was	,	"	oh	god	,	another	one	of	those	pretentious	foreign	art	house	sex	films	.	"	the	opening	shot	features	one	of	those	busy	parisian	streets	,	the	locals	hustling	by	in	a	blur	of	slow	motion	.	this	city	tells	a	thousand	stories	,	my	friends	,	and	an	affair	of	love	is	one	of	them	.	as	if	to	add	insult	to	injury	,	our	first	actual	scenes	are	of	the	woman	(	nathalie	baye	,	day	for	night	)	and	man	(	sergi	lpez	)	after	the	affair	,	being	interviewed	by	some	off	screen	voice	.	it's	very	when	harry	met	sally	,	only	with	the	added	layer	of	being	french	lovers	talking	about	their	passionate	encounters	.	hoo	boy	,	this	is	gonna	be	a	long	road	,	isn't	it	?	we	learn	that	the	woman	placed	an	ad	in	a	magazine	.	of	all	the	potential	candidates	,	this	man	seemed	the	most	interesting	.	he's	handsome	in	a	boyish	sort	of	way	,	seemingly	affable	if	slightly	dorky	.	she's	a	little	older	than	he	is	,	more	world	wise	,	more	open	to	experience	and	experiment	.	they	don't	tell	each	other	their	names	,	ages	,	professions	,	where	they	live	.	it	was	meant	to	be	nothing	personal	.	after	the	round	of	interview	footage	,	affair	goes	back	in	time	to	their	first	encounter	at	a	cafe	.	she's	already	booked	a	room	.	through	a	series	of	nervous	false	starts	,	they	make	it	through	a	halting	conversation	.	at	the	hotel	,	it	seems	an	eternity	for	the	desk	clerk	to	ring	up	the	man's	credit	card	,	then	they	take	the	long	walk	up	the	stairs	and	down	the	hallway	,	through	the	bright	red	door	.	it	suddenly	dawned	on	me	that	perhaps	half	an	hour	had	gone	by	in	the	blink	of	an	eye	.	i	was	utterly	enthralled	by	every	small	nuance	of	this	encounter	,	every	beat	of	silence	.	nathalie	baye's	face	is	lined	with	age	.	perhaps	she's	in	her	mid	40s	,	but	very	fit	for	a	woman	who	might	have	mothered	children	.	her	eyes	flicker	and	dance	,	but	she's	not	the	type	to	give	much	away	.	bright	,	courteous	,	sexually	open	she's	interesting	even	though	we	know	very	little	about	her	.	all	we	can	tell	,	as	the	man	freely	admits	,	is	that	she's	a	real	woman	.	in	today's	age	where	attractive	girls	are	all	models	and	pin	ups	,	this	film	finds	beauty	in	the	normal	lady	walking	down	the	street	.	sergi	lpez	makes	for	a	nice	foil	.	he's	a	little	tubby	and	hairy	,	but	he	doesn't	take	himself	too	seriously	.	he	has	friendly	,	soft	eyes	,	and	a	mouth	which	is	quick	to	smile	.	at	the	first	meeting	,	he's	perhaps	a	little	more	nervous	than	she	.	he	does	order	a	cognac	to	brace	himself	.	their	first	sexual	encounter	,	which	is	built	up	to	so	vividly	,	remains	behind	closed	doors	.	maybe	that's	as	it	should	be	.	for	a	film	about	sex	,	there	isn't	very	much	of	it	shown	during	the	film	.	in	a	way	,	this	makes	it	all	the	sweeter	as	we	watch	them	during	their	second	meeting	at	the	cafe	.	once	more	we	don't	see	their	amour	.	after	the	hotel	,	that	second	time	,	the	man	works	up	the	courage	to	ask	her	to	dinner	later	that	night	.	on	they	go	,	never	learning	where	the	other	lives	.	they	keep	much	as	a	mystery	from	each	other	,	but	reveal	enough	to	keep	us	interested	.	maybe	that's	the	nature	of	affairs	,	especially	sexual	ones	.	the	secrets	.	the	film	runs	a	little	over	ninety	minutes	.	it's	never	dull	.	i	could	have	done	without	the	frequent	voice	overs	,	which	run	over	scenes	where	i	might	have	preferred	to	hear	the	naturalistic	dialogue	between	the	lovers	.	i'm	also	no	big	fan	of	self	conscious	"	interview	"	footage	,	which	only	served	to	make	me	wonder	how	the	documentarian	tracked	them	down	.	these	faults	,	while	glaring	,	are	forgiven	because	the	rest	of	the	film	feels	so	alluring	,	so	sexy	and	smart	.	they	meet	,	they	talk	,	they	make	love	and	,	slowly	,	grow	closer	.	there	are	many	scenes	where	they	talk	frankly	about	sex	.	as	for	the	actual	onscreen	lovemaking	,	it	is	kept	to	a	minimum	,	but	there's	a	startling	scene	midway	which	has	them	in	bed	slowly	working	their	way	toward	orgasm	.	this	is	not	the	sex	of	hollywood	gloss	,	or	even	of	art	house	decadence	,	or	even	of	pornography	.	sex	in	american	films	is	either	a	marathon	,	a	farce	,	a	music	video	,	or	a	tragedy	.	an	affair	of	love	is	all	of	the	above	,	only	less	self	important	.	it's	insubstantial	,	but	that's	pretty	much	the	point	.	they	only	had	what	they	had	and	the	rest	is	in	their	memories	.	so	it	is	for	the	viewer	,	too	.	maybe	it's	only	worth	a	rental	,	but	that's	more	than	what	you'd	expect	walking	in	.
pos	directed	by	carina	lau	;	starring	jackie	chan	,	anita	mui	,	ti	lungin	the	wake	of	the	smashing	success	of	"	rumble	in	the	bronx	,	"	it's	looking	more	and	more	likely	that	more	jackie	chan	films	will	see	american	release	.	rumor	has	it	that	one	of	these	films	will	be	drunken	master	ii	.	the	version	i	have	is	a	copy	from	the	laserdisc	;	it's	widescreen	and	bilingually	subtitled	,	as	are	most	hong	kong	films	these	days	.	availability	over	here	in	the	united	states	is	very	limited	;	these	films	must	either	be	purchased	via	pirates	or	sought	out	from	asian	distributors	such	as	tai	seng	.	the	subtitling	on	the	copy	i	have	is	slightly	hard	to	read	;	the	letters	are	white	and	a	bit	small	.	although	the	american	release	will	almost	certainly	be	dubbed	,	this	review	is	of	the	subtitled	version	,	so	please	keep	that	in	mind	if	you're	reading	this	review	to	help	you	decide	whether	to	go	out	and	see	it	.	to	be	fair	,	i	must	admit	that	i've	never	been	very	fond	of	"	period	piece	"	martial	arts	movies	the	ones	set	in	some	nebulous	china	of	the	distant	or	not	so	distant	past	.	perhaps	it's	because	most	of	those	i've	seen	were	filmed	on	inferior	stock	,	with	either	butchered	dubbing	or	all	but	illegible	subtitling	,	or	perhaps	it's	because	their	plots	all	tend	to	be	very	similar	to	each	other	and	,	in	many	cases	,	all	but	nonexistant	.	in	fact	,	many	of	them	get	so	wrapped	up	in	their	subplots	that	they	seem	to	forget	their	main	plot	entirely	until	only	a	few	minutes	before	the	end	.	or	,	for	that	matter	,	it	might	be	because	the	jackie	chan	films	with	more	modern	settings	(	armour	of	god	,	rumble	in	the	bronx	,	etc	.	)	tend	to	have	more	spectacular	stunts	,	often	involving	large	motor	vehicles	and	large	explosions	,	whereas	period	pieces	simply	have	the	martial	arts	.	having	said	that	,	i	must	now	turn	right	around	and	say	that	drunken	master	ii	is	a	remarkable	exception	to	all	or	most	of	the	above	,	is	one	of	the	better	martial	arts	films	i've	seen	,	and	i	quite	enjoyed	it	.	surprised	?	well	,	so	was	i	.	drunken	master	ii	is	about	a	young	man	named	wong	fei	hong	(	played	by	jackie	chan	)	who	is	a	master	of	the	drunken	boxing	style	of	kung	fu	.	where	he	learned	this	style	is	uncertain	,	as	his	father	,	wong	kei	ying	(	ti	lung	)	is	steadfast	in	his	opposition	to	fei	hong's	practicing	it	rather	than	some	more	normal	style	of	kung	fu	.	apparently	,	fei	hong	is	some	sort	of	figure	from	chinese	folklore	,	rather	like	paul	bunyan	is	for	americans	,	but	i've	heard	very	little	about	this	,	and	could	quite	well	be	wrong	,	so	i'll	leave	analysis	of	that	to	the	people	who	know	it	better	.	one	of	my	friends	points	out	that	the	character	of	wong	fei	hong	is	also	featured	in	the	"	once	upon	a	time	in	china	"	movies	,	but	i	have	not	yet	seen	those	.	the	plot	of	drunken	master	ii	is	somewhat	hazy	,	as	are	the	plots	to	many	such	films	,	but	if	you're	watching	a	jackie	chan	film	,	odds	are	you	aren't	expecting	something	on	the	order	of	"	war	and	peace	"	.	the	story	seems	to	revolve	around	those	evil	foreigners	who	are	spiriting	away	ancient	chinese	relics	(	and	hence	,	china's	cultural	heritage	)	while	overworking	,	underpaying	,	and	beating	up	chinese	workers	in	a	nearby	steel	mill	.	however	,	this	plot	merely	serves	as	a	framework	for	the	other	main	story	of	the	film	fei	hong's	perpetual	struggle	to	win	his	girlfriend	,	supplicate	his	father	,	keep	his	(	pregnant	)	mother	(	played	by	anita	mui	)	from	fighting	,	and	keep	from	getting	beaten	up	by	evil	foreigner	thugs	.	the	macguffin	that	drives	the	plot	(	s	)	is	a	precious	antique	jade	imperial	seal	which	is	being	taken	away	by	the	evil	foreigners	.	in	the	beginning	,	fei	hong	accidentally	steals	it	while	trying	to	recover	an	identically	wrapped	box	containing	the	medicinal	ginseng	his	father	was	bringing	back	for	a	customer	.	in	the	process	,	he	clashes	with	another	thief	,	who	is	himself	trying	for	the	seal	but	ends	up	instead	with	the	ginseng	.	after	fei	hong	narrowly	avoids	getting	caught	with	the	seal	by	the	evil	foreigners'	lackies	,	thanks	to	some	timely	intervention	by	a	general's	son	(	a	cameo	appearance	by	andy	lau	,	who	would	later	take	on	the	starring	role	in	drunken	master	iii	!	)	,	comedic	chaos	ensues	back	at	the	wong	household	when	fei	hong	and	his	mother	attempt	to	come	up	with	a	replacement	for	the	missing	ginseng	.	and	so	it	goes	.	and	the	plot	thickens	later	on	,	such	as	when	fei	hong's	girlfriend	maneuvers	him	into	a	kung	fu	match	with	a	rival	,	or	when	fei	hong	and	the	thief	,	now	revealed	to	be	a	loyalist	manchu	officer	trying	to	recover	the	seal	and	stop	the	evil	foreigners	,	are	attacked	en	masse	(	another	grand	kung	fu	movie	tradition	)	,	but	i	think	i've	already	spent	more	time	on	the	plot	than	it	really	deserves	.	let's	move	on	to	the	real	draw	of	jackie	chan	movies	.	.	.	the	action	.	there's	plenty	of	martial	arts	action	to	be	found	in	this	movie	.	.	.	of	course	,	in	a	kung	fu	film	,	that's	to	be	expected	.	however	,	this	isn't	just	another	kung	fu	movie	;	this	one	has	jackie	chan	doing	the	fight	and	stunt	choreography	,	and	jackie	chan	is	a	genius	.	the	primary	martial	arts	"	style	"	featured	in	the	film	is	drunken	boxing	,	a	form	of	kung	fu	which	attempts	to	draw	the	adversary	off	his	guard	by	making	it	seem	like	the	fellow	using	it	is	drunk	.	further	,	for	the	purposes	of	this	film	at	least	,	drunken	boxers	fight	better	when	they	actually	_	are	_	intoxicated	.	.	.	but	there's	a	fine	line	between	just	drunk	enough	and	drunk	into	a	stupor	.	under	normal	circumstances	,	the	idea	of	someone	staggering	around	looking	sloshed	but	managing	to	fight	effectively	and	even	incredibly	might	seem	rather	stupid	,	but	jackie	pulls	it	off	with	flair	.	the	kung	fu	sequences	are	so	intricate	in	their	staging	and	execution	that	it	is	pointless	to	try	to	describe	it	on	paper	,	so	i'll	just	say	that	the	fights	especially	the	big	climactic	fight	at	the	end	in	themselves	make	the	movie	worth	watching	.	another	thing	drunken	master	ii	has	going	for	it	is	the	stunt	work	.	even	without	motor	vehicles	(	well	,	not	counting	a	train	)	,	there	are	some	remarkable	stunts	in	this	film	.	among	other	things	,	jackie	dives	off	a	balcony	into	a	table	and	crawls	across	hot	coals	(	not	once	,	but	at	_	least	_	twice	,	if	you	count	the	outtake	shown	during	the	credits	)	.	(	quicktime	movies	of	these	stunts	can	be	found	through	the	www	movie	database	.	)	unlike	in	american	films	,	these	stunts	are	_	not	_	faked	.	drunken	master	ii	stars	several	veteran	actors	of	the	hong	kong	movie	scene	,	including	jackie	,	ti	lung	(	"	a	better	tomorrow	"	1	2	)	,	and	anita	mui	(	the	"	heroic	trio	"	series	,	"	rumble	in	the	bronx	"	)	.	the	performances	are	first	rate	,	especially	when	it	comes	to	the	comedy	parts	of	the	film	.	the	scene	where	fei	hong	and	his	mother	conspire	literally	behind	fei	hong's	father's	back	to	cover	up	for	the	missing	ginseng	root	is	hilarious	,	as	is	the	scene	where	fei	hong's	mother	,	having	just	revealed	that	she	is	pregnant	,	is	threatening	to	hurt	herself	(	in	order	to	draw	her	husband's	anger	away	from	fei	hong	)	.	jackie	has	developed	his	knack	for	physical	comedy	into	a	sort	of	mastery	over	the	years	,	and	he's	in	fine	form	all	through	drunken	master	ii	.	as	far	as	cinematography	is	concerned	,	it	certainly	works	for	this	film	.	it's	nothing	spectacular	,	but	is	at	least	a	dozen	times	better	than	all	those	old	kung	fu	movies	of	the	70s	.	the	picture	is	crisp	and	clear	.	one	thing	i	find	particularly	worthy	of	mention	is	that	,	at	least	in	the	copy	i	have	,	the	screen	was	wider	than	any	film	i've	ever	seen	on	videotape	before	almost	a	whole	1	3	of	the	screen	was	blocked	out	above	and	below	.	(	watch	this	on	a	bigscreen	tv	or	movie	theater	if	you	can	.	)	it	will	be	an	utter	shame	if	this	film	is	eventually	pan	and	scanned	for	american	video	release	.	drunken	master	ii	shows	the	full	potential	of	"	period	piece	"	kung	fu	movies	,	and	it's	good	enough	to	overcome	even	my	usual	distaste	for	such	movies	.	the	plot	does	meander	a	bit	,	but	that's	to	be	expected	in	this	type	of	film	.	if	you	like	this	kind	of	movie	,	you'll	love	this	movie	,	and	if	not	,	well	,	give	it	a	chance	anyway	.	if	nothing	else	,	the	martial	arts	and	stunt	sequences	are	by	themselves	worth	the	price	of	admission	or	rental	.	this	review	is	copyright	1996	by	christopher	e	.	meadows	;	permission	granted	for	distribution	and	archival	via	rec	.	arts	.	movies	.	reviews	,	the	world	wide	web	movie	database	,	and	associated	databases	;	permission	granted	for	free	electronic	dissemination	as	long	as	the	text	of	this	review	is	not	changed	,	this	notice	remains	attached	,	and	no	money	is	charged	for	it	.	all	other	rights	reserved	to	the	author	.	chris	meadows	aka	author	,	team	m	.	e	.	c	.	h	.	a	.	,	crapshoot	co	.	robotech	_	master	on	the	superguy	listserv	(	bit	.	listserv	.	superguy	)	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	jurai	.	net	"	robotech	jurai	.	net	a	take	note	!	my	homepage	has	changed	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	eyrie	.	org	"	robotech	eyrie	.	org	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jurai	.	net	robotech	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	jurai	.	net	robotech	index	.	html	a
pos	rated	r	in	spanish	with	english	subtitles	an	artisan	films	release	starring	eduardo	noriega	,	penelope	cruz	,	chete	lera	,	fele	martinez	,	gerard	barray	,	pepe	navarro	,	najwa	nimri	written	by	alejandro	amenabar	and	mateo	gil	directed	by	alejandro	amenabar	as	anyone	who	has	seen	the	matrix	and	existenz	knows	,	this	year	we	have	has	an	abundance	of	exceptional	science	fiction	films	.	i	am	not	a	very	big	sci	fi	fan	,	but	as	the	year	2000	approaches	,	these	films	have	begun	to	fascinate	me	immensely	.	the	latest	entry	into	the	genre	,	alejandro	amenabar's	psychological	thriller	open	your	eyes	,	suffers	from	bad	timing	.	while	the	film	is	indeed	very	good	,	i	have	seen	it	shortly	after	two	very	similar	films	(	look	in	the	first	paragraph	)	,	and	the	originality	doesn't	strike	me	nearly	as	much	as	it	could	have	.	open	your	eyes	is	the	story	of	cesar	(	eduardo	noriega	)	,	a	young	,	handsome	,	wealthy	spanish	man	who	finds	himself	accused	of	a	murder	which	he	is	sure	he	didn't	commit	(	if	you	think	this	sounds	like	dark	city	,	you're	not	the	only	one	.	infact	,	the	first	scene	of	open	your	eyes	,	a	dream	sequence	,	shows	cesar	waking	up	,	going	outside	,	and	realizing	that	there	is	no	one	on	the	streets	)	.	as	he	is	interrogated	by	a	prison	psychologist	(	chete	lera	)	,	we	,	through	the	eyes	of	cesar	,	try	to	figure	out	exactly	what	happened	.	cesar	decides	to	throw	a	party	at	his	house	,	and	his	best	friend	pelayo	(	fele	martinez	)	brings	with	him	sofia	(	penelope	cruz	)	,	a	beautiful	woman	whom	he	met	in	the	library	.	cesar	falls	instantly	in	love	,	and	he	ends	up	taking	her	back	to	her	home	after	the	party	.	after	a	night	of	chatting	,	they	agree	to	meet	again	the	next	day	.	but	as	cesar	walks	outside	,	his	lusty	mistress	,	nuria	(	najwa	nimri	)	,	drives	by	in	her	car	,	and	begs	him	to	join	her	for	one	last	rendezvous	.	he	gets	in	the	car	,	and	she	ends	up	driving	off	the	side	of	the	road	and	hitting	a	tree	,	killing	herself	and	completely	wrecking	cesar's	face	.	from	then	on	,	the	film	goes	through	many	,	many	twists	as	cesar	tries	to	figure	out	what	the	hell	is	going	on	.	there	is	a	line	in	this	year's	extraordinary	the	matrix	in	which	morpheus	(	laurence	fishburne	)	asks	:	"	have	you	ever	had	a	dream	that	you're	so	sure	was	real	?	what	if	you	were	unable	to	wake	from	that	dream	?	how	would	you	tell	the	difference	between	the	dream	world	,	and	the	real	world	?	"	open	your	eyes	is	essentially	about	our	dreams	,	and	the	tricks	that	our	subconscious	plays	on	us	.	while	the	film	is	clever	and	psychological	,	it	is	not	as	fun	or	stylish	as	the	matrix	and	existenz	.	open	your	eyes	is	definitely	worthy	of	an	audience	,	as	long	as	they're	not	expecting	the	flash	of	the	others	.	i'm	sure	i	would	have	enjoyed	this	film	more	had	i	seen	it	earlier	,	though	.	regardless	,	alejandro	amenabar	is	a	smashing	new	talent	,	and	this	film	was	a	hit	in	it's	native	spain	.	penelope	cruz	,	who	made	her	american	debut	in	last	year's	embarrasing	the	hi	lo	country	,	shows	depth	as	well	as	beauty	,	and	hopefully	her	appeal	will	cross	over	to	america	.	open	your	eyes	is	an	incredible	movie	,	and	if	this	is	not	one	of	the	new	sci	fi	genre's	best	,	then	the	genre's	gonna	thrive	for	a	long	while	.	once	again	,	congrats	to	artisan	films	,	quickly	becoming	one	of	best	distributors	in	film	today	.	a	review	by	akiva	gottlieb	,	the	teenage	movie	critic	a	href	"	mailto	:	akiva	excite	.	com	"	akiva	excite	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	"	http	:	www	.	angelfire	.	com	mo	film	a	watch	me	on	tbs'	"	dinner	and	a	movie	"	may	21	,	8	:	05pm	est	hr	get	your	free	,	private	email	at	a	href	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	"	http	:	mail	.	excite	.	com	a
pos	the	sixth	sense	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	6sense	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	6sense	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	bruce	willis	,	haley	joel	osment	,	toni	collette	,	olivia	williams	written	and	directed	by	m	.	night	shyamalan	you've	seen	this	moment	before	,	recently	:	a	particularly	troubled	character	senses	danger	of	the	paranormal	kind	when	the	room	temperature	inexplicably	plummets	to	below	freezing	.	the	difference	is	that	when	it	happens	to	lili	taylor's	nell	in	the	haunting	,	we	don't	care	.	the	hero	of	the	sixth	sense	,	a	young	boy	named	cole	,	is	a	rich	creation	,	and	we	wish	nothing	more	than	for	the	ghosts	who	haunt	him	to	take	a	hike	.	the	seasons	have	changed	since	an	ex	patient	shot	jaded	child	psychologist	malcolm	crowe	(	willis	)	in	the	comfort	of	his	own	bedroom	.	desperate	to	get	his	career	back	on	track	,	even	at	the	expense	of	his	crumbling	marriage	(	to	williams	,	of	rushmore	)	,	malcolm	councils	the	deeply	troubled	cole	(	osment	)	.	the	preteen	displays	all	the	quirks	of	malcolm's	would	be	killer	:	scars	on	his	body	;	antisocial	behaviour	;	and	the	reluctance	to	reveal	a	big	secret	.	only	after	cole	is	locked	in	a	closet	by	some	bullies	(	and	hospitalized	as	a	result	)	does	he	divulge	to	malcolm	,	in	a	spine	tingling	scene	,	that	he	sees	dead	people	walking	among	us	,	all	the	time	.	malcolm	assumes	,	and	given	his	profession	,	reasonably	so	,	that	cole	is	schizophrenic	,	not	psychic	,	but	the	sincerity	in	cole's	anguished	confession	prevents	the	doctor	from	taking	drastic	measures	.	he	will	instead	pursue	the	supernatural	angle	,	becoming	a	kind	of	surrogate	father	to	cole	(	who	lives	with	his	single	mother	,	lynn	(	collette	)	)	in	the	process	.	the	sixth	sense	has	more	in	common	with	ghost	than	poltergeist	.	(	though	shyamalan	does	,	somewhat	unforgiveably	,	crib	the	self	rearranging	kitchen	business	from	the	latter	.	)	it's	far	more	heartwarming	than	frightening	,	and	the	film	would	be	none	the	worse	for	wear	without	its	few	pulp	shocks	.	cole	attracts	the	dead	for	reasons	unknown	,	but	they're	not	out	to	harm	him	,	really	they	just	want	to	be	heard	,	even	if	it	means	scaring	the	bejesus	out	of	the	innocent	gradeschooler	.	perhaps	the	apparitions	seem	more	ghastly	to	us	,	at	first	,	than	they	really	are	because	we're	looking	at	the	situation	through	the	eyes	of	an	eight	year	old	.	that's	right	:	willis	,	for	the	first	time	in	years	,	gives	up	the	spotlight	to	his	costar	.	we	appreciate	malcolm's	domestic	dilemma	,	but	we	identify	with	cole	,	recalling	our	fears	of	the	bogeyman	or	the	closet	monster	or	the	thing	under	the	bed	.	both	actors	deliver	immensely	likable	performances	,	and	their	dynamic	is	manifest	.	willis	convinces	us	that	he's	a	doctor	,	something	he	was	unable	to	do	as	a	horndog	shrink	in	the	overheated	color	of	night	.	osment	is	phenomenal	,	a	true	professional	who	resists	mugging	for	the	camera	like	some	child	stars	with	too	much	experience	in	television	commercials	do	.	the	sixth	sense	(	atmospherically	shot	by	the	silence	of	the	lambs'	cinematographer	,	tak	fujimoto	)	is	actually	a	drama	its	spooky	,	effective	ad	campaign	is	misleading	.	only	because	i	was	expecting	something	different	did	i	notice	rather	,	feel	the	movie's	running	time	,	which	is	just	shy	of	two	hours	.	the	story	unfurls	slowly	but	engrossingly	;	its	unexpected	finish	is	definitely	worth	the	wait	.	i'm	not	sure	said	big	twist	ending	is	bulletproof	,	but	i	admired	its	audacity	.
pos	director	:	gus	van	sant	writers	:	ben	affleck	and	matt	damon	starring	:	matt	damon	,	robin	williams	,	minnie	driver	,	stellan	skarsgrd	,	ben	affleck	,	cole	hauser	,	casy	affleck	,	george	plimpton	there	are	certain	people	in	the	world	who	have	some	talent	that	very	few	people	have	,	but	they	chose	not	to	take	advantage	of	this	for	some	personal	reason	.	"	good	will	hunting	"	is	about	one	of	those	people	.	the	will	hunting	of	the	(	horrible	)	title	(	let's	face	it	,	this	film	would	be	a	bitch	to	title	)	,	played	by	co	writer	matt	damon	,	is	a	mathematical	genius	.	he	can	do	almost	any	mathematical	connundrum	in	about	the	time	it	takes	to	brew	a	cup	of	irish	cream	cappuccino	.	and	he	works	at	mit	.	.	.	as	the	janitor	.	one	day	,	the	professor	of	one	of	the	most	challenging	courses	,	proffessor	lambeau	(	"	breaking	the	waves	"	's	stellan	skarsgrd	)	,	puts	a	big	problem	on	the	board	for	his	students	to	attempt	to	complete	.	the	next	day	,	it's	already	done	on	the	board	,	but	no	one	in	his	class	claims	to	have	done	it	.	so	lambeau	puts	another	problem	on	the	board	,	this	time	one	that	took	he	and	his	colleagues	over	two	years	to	prove	.	and	,	duh	,	it's	done	again	.	of	course	,	they	catch	the	guy	who	did	it	red	handed	will	.	before	lambeau	can	find	will	again	(	he	ran	away	when	he	caught	him	)	,	will	has	gotten	into	a	fight	with	a	bunch	of	punks	on	a	basketball	court	,	and	struck	a	police	officer	,	so	lambeau	gets	him	out	on	probation	with	two	agreements	:	a	)	he	work	with	him	on	math	,	and	b	)	he	get	some	therapy	.	after	going	through	some	therapists	whom	he	psyches	out	in	one	way	or	another	(	for	a	hypnotist	,	he	fakes	being	under	his	spell	,	then	launches	into	an	impromptu	performance	of	the	70s	classic	,	"	afternoon	delight	"	)	.	finally	,	lambeau's	old	college	roomate	,	sean	mcguire	(	robin	williams	)	,	a	psych	professor	,	agrees	to	treat	him	,	and	the	two	begin	a	rocky	relationship	,	as	sean	tries	to	get	will	to	open	up	.	turns	out	will	had	a	rough	childhood	,	being	abandoned	,	and	placed	in	foster	homes	and	what	not	.	it	also	turns	out	that	will	does	not	want	to	do	simple	mathematics	all	his	life	;	he	wants	a	challenge	.	and	that	is	to	hang	out	with	his	buds	(	including	the	other	co	writer	,	ben	affleck	)	,	and	do	honorable	jobs	,	like	construction	.	is	it	right	to	make	this	genius	follow	in	the	footsteps	of	einstein	and	kasinsky	?	should	this	guy	be	forced	to	do	something	he	doesn't	want	to	do	?	this	appears	to	be	one	of	the	million	questions	in	this	film	,	which	is	jam	packed	with	greatness	,	but	does	not	have	the	totally	brilliant	whole	it	should	.	i'm	not	saying	"	good	will	hunting	"	is	a	bad	film	at	all	.	it's	a	very	enjoyable	film	with	tons	of	great	moments	,	and	lots	of	great	things	about	it	.	the	acting	is	amazing	,	with	two	oscar	nomination	worthy	performances	from	damon	and	williams	,	who	have	amazing	chemistry	together	.	we	also	get	some	great	support	from	stellan	skarsgrd	(	great	name	)	,	ben	affleck	,	and	from	minnie	driver	,	who	plays	will's	love	interest	,	skylar	.	there	are	tons	of	individual	moments	that	i	adored	.	i	loved	all	the	comedy	in	the	film	,	especially	a	scene	where	damon	proves	a	schmuck	out	of	a	college	student	who	is	quoting	a	historian	to	impress	some	chicks	,	his	various	attempts	at	therapy	,	and	of	course	,	my	favorite	scene	in	the	entire	film	,	the	one	where	he	delivers	a	long	,	exstensive	rant	to	some	nsa	agents	about	the	downside	of	working	for	them	.	i	liked	the	relationship	between	some	of	the	people	,	like	will	and	skylar	,	will	and	sean	,	sean	and	lambeau	,	and	will	and	his	friends	.	there	are	scenes	between	them	which	are	just	amazing	to	watch	.	and	there	are	even	moments	in	the	film	which	are	so	honest	in	their	portrayal	,	that	i	felt	rightfully	uncomfortable	.	like	the	break	up	scene	between	will	and	skylar	,	will	and	sean's	first	meeting	,	a	bar	scene	between	sean	and	lambeau	,	and	a	scene	where	sean	tells	in	detail	how	he	doesn't	regret	meeting	his	first	wife	,	who	would	later	suffer	a	slow	,	painful	death	,	and	leave	him	lonely	and	slightly	bitter	.	however	,	the	main	flaw	of	the	film	is	there's	too	much	of	everything	,	and	not	enough	of	it	either	.	the	film	tries	for	deeper	relations	between	the	characters	,	but	they're	sometimes	either	overwritten	or	underwritten	.	take	for	example	the	relationship	between	sean	and	will	:	the	film	gets	an	interesting	father	son	as	well	as	doctor	patient	relationship	going	with	out	any	problems	,	but	when	it	tries	to	show	them	as	equals	,	it	falls	on	its	face	.	we	hear	how	they	went	to	the	same	town	,	and	there	are	even	scenes	where	the	film	shows	how	hypocritical	both	of	them	are	at	times	.	but	this	never	takes	off	like	the	other	parts	of	their	relationship	do	.	also	,	will's	relationship	with	his	best	friend	,	chuckie	(	affleck	)	,	has	a	nice	climax	,	but	not	enough	rising	action	.	we	see	them	joking	around	,	but	when	chuckie	arrives	at	a	decision	between	the	two	of	them	,	it	seems	more	like	a	superficial	reasoning	than	a	more	selected	one	.	their	relationship	never	goes	beyond	"	just	best	friends	,	"	and	his	decision	just	seems	to	be	a	generalization	of	any	two	best	friends	instead	of	something	more	.	.	.	human	.	maybe	it	was	just	me	.	and	it	also	goes	for	a	parallelism	with	the	relationship	between	sean	and	lambeau	,	but	that	,	again	,	is	underwritten	.	and	,	of	course	,	as	in	most	films	like	this	,	the	girl	boy	relationship	is	pretty	underwritten	.	we	never	understand	what	they	see	in	each	other	,	so	when	skylar	confesses	that	she	loves	him	,	it	seems	more	like	it's	there	for	plot	details	that	anything	else	.	minnie	driver	is	interesting	,	though	,	and	breathes	life	into	her	character	.	the	writing	is	a	bit	at	fault	here	,	but	what	makes	all	this	worthwhile	is	the	little	moments	in	the	film	where	it	acheives	true	awesomeness	.	sure	,	it	feels	overstuffed	,	but	it's	extremely	enjoyable	.	the	dialogue	that	affleck	and	damon	have	written	is	amazingly	fresh	,	and	seems	extremely	human	.	i	think	that	they	should	get	a	nomination	for	their	script	chiefly	because	of	the	dialogue	,	which	is	amazing	.	while	this	is	probably	director	gus	van	sant's	most	conservative	film	(	you'd	hardly	know	it's	the	same	director	of	"	to	die	for	,	"	the	only	van	sant	film	i've	seen	,	really	)	,	it's	still	a	pretty	remarkable	film	,	albeit	a	tad	overrated	(	what's	this	"	best	picture	"	deal	?	)	.	and	if	a	film	puts	a	smile	on	my	face	despite	posessing	a	lot	of	flaws	,	i	have	no	problem	with	reccomending	it	to	anyone	.
pos	when	people	are	talking	about	good	old	times	,	they	actually	want	to	make	some	bad	times	look	better	.	nice	example	of	such	behaviour	is	contemporary	attitude	of	popular	media	towards	the	1970s	.	for	new	generations	,	superseventies	are	the	lost	golden	age	of	chic	fashion	,	cult	tv	shows	and	sexual	freedom	unchecked	by	aids	.	for	people	who	actually	had	to	live	in	that	period	,	it	was	the	gloomy	decade	,	marked	by	lost	ideals	of	1968	,	rampant	inflation	and	unemployment	,	international	terrorism	,	fuel	crisis	and	loss	of	faith	in	almost	anything	that	previous	generation	stood	for	.	feelings	of	despair	and	nihilism	found	its	reflections	in	many	films	of	that	era	.	martin	scorsese's	taxi	driver	,	which	symbolises	both	the	glory	and	despair	of	the	seventies	,	is	most	celebrated	of	them	all	.	the	movie's	protagonist	is	travis	bickle	(	robert	de	niro	)	,	26	year	old	former	marine	who	takes	the	job	of	taxi	driver	in	new	york	city	because	he	can't	sleep	at	nights	.	the	job	gets	him	exposed	to	the	dark	side	of	apocalyptic	megalopolis	,	and	travis	gradually	gets	alienated	from	the	rest	of	world	.	the	only	bright	spot	in	his	life	is	betsy	(	cybil	sheperd	)	,	attractive	woman	working	in	senator	palantine's	presidential	campaign	.	their	date	ends	as	humiliating	fiasco	because	travis	makes	fatal	mistake	by	inviting	her	to	porno	movie	theatre	.	losing	his	only	link	to	better	side	of	the	world	,	travis	gradually	descends	into	psychosis	,	becoming	convinced	that	his	mission	in	life	is	to	battle	scum	on	the	street	.	he	purchases	a	formidable	arsenal	of	guns	and	begins	physical	preparations	for	the	inevitable	conflict	.	that	conflict	finally	comes	when	he	takes	personal	interest	in	iris	(	jodie	foster	)	,	12	year	old	prostitute	who	temporarily	took	refuge	in	his	taxi	.	as	many	great	movies	that	got	cult	status	through	the	years	,	taxi	driver	became	the	object	of	many	interpretations	.	for	some	critics	and	scholars	it	is	an	exploration	of	universal	subjects	that	date	back	to	dostoyevski	loss	of	moral	compass	in	a	bleak	reality	of	dirty	,	overpopulated	industrial	cities	;	the	story	could	have	been	set	in	19th	century	same	as	in	our	times	.	for	others	,	the	movie	uses	raskolnikov	like	figure	in	order	to	portray	burning	problems	of	1970s	america	its	apparent	inability	to	deal	with	the	consequences	of	rapid	social	changes	that	occurred	in	previous	decade	.	brilliant	performance	of	robert	de	niro	in	role	of	a	lifetime	can	give	arguments	for	both	sides	.	his	travis	bickle	has	a	lot	in	common	with	most	of	the	average	viewers	of	today	many	of	us	share	his	feelings	of	isolation	,	loneliness	and	outrage	towards	crime	,	drugs	,	prostitution	and	senseless	street	violence	.	his	pathetic	attempts	to	establish	some	kind	of	human	connection	with	the	people	around	him	,	sometimes	in	most	unusual	circumstances	like	with	secret	service	agents	,	pimps	or	job	interviewers	make	him	a	person	too	goofy	to	be	the	hero	,	and	too	pathetic	to	be	the	classic	villain	.	however	,	most	of	the	average	viewers	are	sensible	enough	to	recognise	the	tin	line	that	separate	concerned	citizens	or	troubled	souls	from	fanatical	madmen	.	but	despite	anything	,	average	viewer	at	the	end	actually	cheers	for	travis	his	crusade	against	"	scum	"	is	something	that	average	person	wants	,	but	doesn't	have	a	stomach	lack	of	brains	to	do	it	.	while	de	niro's	travis	might	come	in	and	out	of	particular	times	and	places	,	other	persons	that	appear	in	the	film	(	mostly	played	by	the	character	actors	)	give	it	distinctively	1970s	feel	.	wizzard	(	played	by	peter	boyle	)	presents	the	only	link	with	america's	better	past	;	but	only	because	he	is	the	oldest	taxi	driver	in	company	and	therefore	everybody	assumes	that	he	"	knows	stuff	"	.	his	obvious	inadequacy	in	giving	advice	to	troubled	travis	illustrates	the	inability	of	pre	1960s	generations	to	find	answers	to	the	problems	of	gloomy	decade	.	other	characters	,	on	the	other	hand	,	show	the	bad	side	of	new	age	.	matthew	"	sport	"	(	keitel	,	who	befriended	real	life	pimps	in	other	to	prepare	for	his	role	of	a	lifetime	)	is	dressed	like	a	hippie	;	iris	found	excuse	for	her	escape	to	the	world	of	drugs	and	child	prostitution	in	a	ideology	of	counterculture	.	porno	movies	,	that	should	be	the	element	of	new	times	of	sexual	freedom	,	are	too	much	even	for	supposedly	"	liberated	"	betsy	.	even	the	politicians	,	like	senator	palantine	,	are	lost	in	post	vietnam	and	post	watergate	mess	;	his	broad	and	senseless	"	messages	"	that	cover	the	lack	of	any	serious	program	can't	fool	even	such	idiots	like	travis	.	the	past	is	gone	,	the	present	is	bad	,	and	even	the	future	seems	bleak	,	and	the	feeling	of	pessimism	can't	be	washed	away	even	by	ironic	happy	end	.	travis	and	his	world	found	themselves	in	a	desperate	situation	,	and	martin	scorsese	uses	the	best	of	his	cinematic	skills	in	order	to	spill	the	gloom	of	schrader's	screenplay	into	the	silver	screen	.	new	york	city	in	the	night	is	portrayed	as	a	hell	on	earth	,	and	the	red	light	and	steam	coming	out	of	sewers	give	it	surreal	,	almost	stygian	atmosphere	.	another	important	element	of	the	atmosphere	is	score	of	great	bernard	herrman	,	whose	efficient	use	of	jazz	elements	gives	some	melancholy	that	softens	the	brutality	of	motion	picture	.	one	of	the	greatest	ironies	of	taxi	driver	is	the	fact	that	the	movie	was	,	same	as	his	protagonist	,	famous	for	the	wrong	reason	.	instead	of	receiving	cult	status	because	of	his	artistic	merits	,	for	many	years	it	was	tabloid	fodder	because	of	hinckley	and	his	real	life	re	enactment	of	events	in	the	movie	.	now	,	more	than	two	decades	later	,	when	some	other	"	life	imitating	art	"	incidents	get	more	attention	,	we	can	finally	enjoy	taxi	driver	in	all	its	artistic	glory	.
pos	les	miserables	(	pg	13	)	(	out	of	)	the	calendar	year	has	not	even	reached	its	midway	point	,	but	that	hasn't	prevented	columbia	pictures	from	trotting	out	a	lavish	period	drama	more	befitting	of	the	winter	oscar	bait	season	.	bille	august's	high	profile	adaptation	of	victor	hugo's	classic	les	miserables	delivers	everything	one	would	expect	from	a	classy	hollywood	epic	handsome	production	values	,	strong	performances	by	a	top	notch	cast	,	a	literate	screenplay	with	one	critically	missing	element	:	emotional	sweep	.	for	those	not	familiar	with	hugo's	original	novel	or	the	hit	stage	musical	it	inspired	,	the	hook	of	les	miserables	essentially	boils	down	to	something	like	a	19th	century	french	set	version	of	the	fugitive	.	after	serving	19	years	in	a	prison	work	camp	for	stealing	a	loaf	of	bread	,	the	brutish	jean	valjean	(	liam	neeson	)	is	paroled	.	immediately	upon	release	,	he	steals	valuable	silverware	from	a	kindly	bishop	who	takes	him	in	for	a	night	;	he	is	caught	by	authorities	,	only	to	be	forgiven	by	the	bishop	,	who	lets	valjean	keep	the	silver	to	start	a	new	life	on	the	straight	and	narrow	.	that	he	does	,	and	in	doing	so	breaks	his	parole	,	which	sets	the	obsessively	determined	inspector	javert	(	geoffrey	rush	)	,	who	was	one	of	the	guards	in	valjean's	prison	camp	,	on	his	trail	.	thematically	,	however	,	les	miserables	is	a	story	about	redemption	,	which	valjean	finds	through	his	dealings	with	two	women	,	the	hard	luck	factory	worker	turned	prostitute	fantine	(	uma	thurman	)	,	and	her	illegitimate	daughter	,	cosette	.	years	after	breaking	parole	,	valjean	becomes	mayor	of	the	town	of	vigau	,	where	he	forms	a	warm	friendship	with	fantine	after	saving	her	from	an	unjust	arrest	by	javert	.	valjean	promises	the	gravely	ill	fantine	he	will	rescue	the	young	cosette	(	mimi	newman	)	from	her	cruel	caretakers	,	the	thenardiers	,	and	raise	the	child	as	his	own	.	the	"	father	"	and	"	daughter	"	eventually	land	in	paris	,	where	the	teenage	cosette	(	claire	danes	)	falls	for	dashing	student	revolutionary	marius	(	hans	matheson	)	.	the	decades	spanning	story	is	the	stuff	that	cinematic	epics	are	made	of	,	and	the	danish	august	turns	in	his	most	accomplished	english	language	work	,	following	the	underrated	1994	superstar	soap	the	house	of	the	spirits	and	last	year's	stylish	but	highly	preposterous	mystery	smilla's	sense	of	snow	.	he	and	screenwriter	rafael	yglesias	bring	the	sprawling	tale	into	clear	focus	and	keep	the	events	moving	at	a	brisk	pace	.	production	designer	anna	asp	,	costume	designer	gabriella	pescucci	,	and	cinematographer	jorgen	persson	give	les	miserables	a	sumptuous	period	look	whose	accomplishment	is	mostly	matched	by	the	efforts	of	the	cast	.	neeson	is	commanding	yet	endearingly	vulnerable	;	rush's	finely	modulated	menace	is	far	more	rewarding	than	his	overrated	,	oscar	winning	theatrics	in	shine	;	and	thurman	disappears	nicely	into	her	highly	unglamorous	role	.	the	younger	members	of	the	cast	fare	less	well	.	danes	is	convincing	as	cosette	,	but	her	overdone	lip	quivering	during	her	crying	scenes	becomes	a	distraction	;	and	matheson	,	while	competent	,	is	a	less	interesting	robert	sean	leonard	.	as	technically	adept	and	cerebrally	engaging	the	film	is	,	by	the	time	les	miserables	was	over	,	my	emotions	had	only	been	superficially	involved	.	while	i	was	touched	by	valjean's	relationships	with	fantine	and	cosette	,	i	was	not	moved	.	not	even	reaching	the	"	touching	"	level	is	the	cosette	marius	pairing	.	my	only	previous	experience	with	les	miserables	is	with	the	musical	(	as	i	am	sure	many	others'	is	)	,	and	i	was	dismayed	to	see	eponine	,	a	friend	of	marius's	who	selflessly	dies	in	the	name	of	her	unspoken	love	for	him	,	almost	completely	jettisoned	from	this	adaptation	(	the	daughter	of	the	thenardiers	,	here	she	is	only	briefly	seen	as	a	child	)	.	her	presence	would	have	added	some	much	needed	conflict	and	emotional	heft	to	the	youthful	romance	,	but	i	suppose	august	and	yglesias	felt	one	tragic	heroine	(	fantine	)	was	enough	.	even	so	,	as	1998	creeps	into	summer	blockbuster	season	,	les	miserables	is	a	thoughtful	,	well	made	,	entertaining	film	,	one	that	will	sate	moviegoers	hungry	for	a	dose	of	drama	before	popcorn	no	brainers	invade	the	multiplex	.
pos	i	fell	asleep	during	turtles	,	was	mildly	amused	by	bttf	iii	,	but	had	a	terrific	time	at	gremlins	2	today	.	yes	,	it's	true	,	the	performances	by	the	special	effects	are	generally	better	than	the	performances	by	the	actors	,	and	the	film	has	more	rubber	logic	than	most	,	but	it's	fun	!	yes	,	you	can	guess	the	story	.	gizmo	winds	up	in	a	research	lab	after	his	owner	,	the	old	chinese	man	,	dies	.	the	research	lab	in	in	"	clamp	tower	,	"	a	massive	new	york	sky	scraper	that	contains	various	cable	networks	(	including	things	like	"	the	archery	network	"	and	"	the	safety	channel	"	)	,	a	mall	,	restaurants	,	and	the	headquarters	for	clamp	international	.	of	course	,	billy	and	kate	,	the	heros	from	the	first	film	,	also	happen	to	work	in	that	building	.	billy	rescues	gizmo	from	the	genetics	lab	(	run	gleefully	by	christopher	lee	)	,	but	your	typical	series	of	catastrophes	happen	to	little	gizmo	and	gremlins	rapidly	infest	the	entire	building	.	since	there's	a	genetics	lab	to	trash	,	the	gremlins	mutate	into	a	variety	of	bizarre	creatures	,	including	a	winged	gargoyle	,	spider	monster	,	and	a	quasi	intellectual	,	pipe	smoking	yuppie	.	there	are	more	sight	gags	,	parodies	and	wonderful	bits	throughout	this	movie	.	there's	the	"	movie	police	,	"	"	microwaving	with	marge	,	"	and	some	amusing	cameos	by	various	warner	brothers	characters	.	there's	an	on	target	parody	of	kate's	"	why	i	hate	christmas	"	speech	(	though	it	was	a	tad	too	long	)	from	the	first	movie	,	and	great	satire	of	corporate	personality	throughout	the	film	.	the	movie	is	rated	pg	13	,	though	most	of	the	violence	happens	to	gremlins	and	to	the	set	rather	than	to	any	humans	.	our	nine	year	old	was	liked	the	movie	,	but	didn't	really	start	laughing	at	it	until	after	the	gremlins	popped	out	all	over	.	the	puppetry	and	radio	controlled	gremlins	in	this	movie	were	both	extremely	well	done	.	the	gremlins	have	a	little	more	personality	in	this	film	than	in	the	first	one	.	gremlins	2	took	a	good	idea	and	made	it	better	.	i	hope	dante	company	quit	while	they	are	ahead	.	i'm	not	sure	how	the	movie	is	doing	.	we	saw	it	in	an	empty	theater	today	,	which	is	a	shame	because	the	movie	is	a	blast	.	laurie	mann	harvard	!	m2c	!	jjmhome	!	lmann	a	href	"	mailto	:	lmann	jjmhome	m2c	.	m2c	.	org	"	lmann	jjmhome	m2c	.	m2c	.	org	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	laurie	_	mann	es	.	stratus	.	com	"	laurie	_	mann	es	.	stratus	.	com	a	uunet	!	lectroid	!	es	!	laurie	_	mann
pos	director	:	steven	soderbergh	cast	:	george	clooney	,	jennifer	lopez	,	ving	rhames	,	dennis	farina	,	don	cheadle	,	albert	brooks	,	steve	zahn	,	catherine	keener	screenplay	:	scott	frank	producers	:	danny	devito	,	michael	shamberg	,	stacey	sher	runtime	:	120	min	.	us	distribution	:	universal	rated	r	:	violence	,	language	,	sex	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	perhaps	it's	time	for	me	to	say	a	little	about	my	reading	habits	.	i	really	do	like	to	read	,	and	i've	enjoyed	many	books	in	my	lifetime	.	my	problem	is	that	i'm	a	slow	reader	,	and	not	very	dedicated	i'll	enjoy	portions	of	a	book	and	then	set	it	down	for	months	at	a	time	(	it's	taken	me	the	last	six	weeks	to	get	through	the	first	one	hundred	pages	of	anna	karenina	,	even	though	i'm	loving	the	book	)	.	in	addition	to	this	,	i	typically	don't	read	anything	created	after	the	19th	century	.	the	only	reason	i	bother	with	this	bit	of	information	is	because	i	feel	bad	admitting	,	time	after	time	,	that	i	haven't	read	any	of	the	books	on	which	these	films	are	based	(	the	only	exception	,	i	believe	,	is	great	expectations	)	.	however	,	i	don't	think	it	should	be	necessary	to	read	the	book	beforehand	in	order	to	judge	the	quality	of	the	film	.	needless	to	say	,	i	haven't	read	the	elmore	leonard	novel	out	of	sight	,	on	which	steven	soderbergh's	new	film	is	based	.	i	can't	say	how	faithful	of	an	adaptation	it	is	,	or	if	it	lives	up	to	leonard's	vision	.	i	can	say	that	it's	a	terrific	film	,	with	sharp	acting	,	great	dialogue	,	and	pumping	full	of	energy	and	style	injected	by	soderbergh	.	it's	certainly	a	nice	distraction	from	1998's	lineup	of	brainless	blockbusters	,	all	hopelessly	wishing	that	size	mattered	.	out	of	sight	proves	that	it	doesn't	.	i	had	originally	written	george	clooney	off	as	a	one	note	actor	,	incapable	of	depth	but	occasionally	showing	a	little	flair	.	after	seeing	his	latest	performance	in	this	film	,	i've	changed	my	mind	this	guy	can	act	,	but	he	also	has	that	forceful	presence	that	most	certainly	will	make	him	one	of	those	20	million	superstars	.	here	,	he	plays	jack	foley	,	a	middle	aged	guy	who	robs	banks	for	a	living	.	he	does	it	because	it's	fun	,	i	think	,	but	the	film	opens	with	him	getting	caught	because	his	car	won't	start	.	he	goes	to	jail	which	is	interesting	only	to	break	out	five	cinematic	minutes	later	with	the	help	of	his	friend	,	buddy	(	ving	rhames	)	.	we're	then	introduced	to	karen	sisco	(	jennifer	lopez	)	,	a	u	.	s	.	marshall	who	,	conveniently	,	is	waiting	with	a	shotgun	as	jack	escapes	.	fortunately	,	they	take	her	hostage	,	and	she	and	jack	spend	some	quality	time	in	the	trunk	together	as	buddy	drives	them	to	safety	.	the	central	conflict	arises	when	both	jack	and	karen	become	obsessed	with	one	another	,	though	their	respective	jobs	make	them	superficially	incompatible	.	we	soon	learn	that	the	film	is	not	told	in	sequence	(	and	,	since	this	is	a	gritty	crime	comedy	,	flashbacks	of	pulp	fiction	should	arise	)	.	at	first	,	i	kind	of	felt	that	it	was	a	gimmick	,	but	i	guess	it	was	a	gimmick	in	pulp	fiction	,	too	.	it's	a	fun	gimmick	,	though	,	and	soderbergh	treats	the	material	with	enough	humor	that	everything	comes	off	naturally	.	i've	only	seen	a	few	of	soderbergh's	films	(	i	was	impressed	both	with	kafka	and	sex	,	lies	,	and	videotape	)	,	but	i	think	he's	excellent	at	what	he	does	.	he's	an	artist	without	making	it	obvious	,	and	without	being	pretentious	,	which	is	always	admirable	.	he	uses	tricks	,	yes	(	lots	of	freeze	frame	stuff	here	)	,	but	it	all	adds	to	the	smooth	and	quirky	currents	in	the	film	.	as	i	said	,	clooney	is	terrific	,	and	he's	matched	by	lopez	.	lopez	is	,	of	course	,	beautiful	,	but	she	can	act	,	too	.	i	can	sense	that	she's	honing	in	on	her	skills	,	for	she	comes	off	more	natural	here	than	she	has	in	any	of	her	previous	ventures	(	not	that	stone	gave	her	much	help	in	the	loathsome	u	turn	)	.	the	two	actors	have	arresting	chemistry	with	one	another	the	best	scene	in	the	film	,	by	far	,	is	the	seduction	scene	.	the	brilliance	of	this	scene	is	also	due	,	in	part	,	to	soderbergh	,	for	he	cuts	back	and	forth	from	their	quiet	discussion	in	a	bar	to	the	physical	act	which	takes	place	a	few	minutes	later	.	the	scene	is	a	series	of	soft	nuances	and	glances	,	layered	upon	light	dialogue	,	and	the	result	is	one	of	the	better	love	scenes	in	recent	cinema	meaningful	and	engrossing	.	the	supporting	cast	is	strong	,	led	by	the	always	reliable	ving	rhames	.	dennis	farina	,	who	plays	karen's	father	,	is	good	,	as	is	don	cheadle	as	the	profoundly	stupid	villain	.	steve	zahn	,	who	plays	jack's	nearly	brain	dead	accomplice	glenn	,	steals	all	of	his	scenes	(	and	that's	in	a	film	where	every	scene	is	already	at	a	high	level	)	.	all	of	the	actors	are	helped	by	the	dialogue	and	the	intelligently	constructed	script	by	scott	frank	.	out	of	sight	is	certainly	a	light	film	,	although	there	are	a	few	heavy	moments	that	will	linger	in	the	memory	.	overall	,	i	can	recommend	it	simply	as	great	entertainment	.	not	every	film	has	to	change	your	life	,	and	it's	nice	to	see	a	movie	that	uses	the	art	to	tell	a	great	story	and	simply	to	entertain	its	viewers	.	as	for	the	book	,	this	film	is	good	enough	to	make	me	believe	that	there	might	be	something	in	the	text	worth	looking	at	.
pos	directed	by	christopher	guest	running	time	:	84	minutes	originally	released	:	january	31	,	1997	(	national	usa	)	of	all	the	films	i've	come	to	see	this	year	(	1997	)	,	i	think	only	chasing	amy	had	as	many	"	laugh	out	loud	"	moments	.	i'm	not	saying	that	i	was	hysterically	rolling	on	the	floor	while	watching	waiting	for	guffman	,	but	my	mouth	burst	open	with	at	least	a	delighted	guffaw	at	least	every	couple	of	minutes	.	and	i	think	i'm	the	kind	of	person	that	laughs	least	at	movies	,	even	when	i	find	them	funny	.	usually	all	you	can	get	out	of	me	is	a	warm	smile	,	so	to	get	me	laughing	out	loud	,	and	so	frequently	,	is	a	really	good	sign	.	waiting	for	guffman	is	the	story	of	blaine	,	missouri	,	a	town	celebrating	it's	150th	anniversary	,	and	the	musical	that	is	being	put	on	for	the	big	event	.	the	play	is	being	directed	by	corky	st	.	clair	(	christopher	guest	,	who	also	wrote	and	directed	this	"	mockumentary	"	as	well	as	co	writing	several	original	musical	numbers	)	,	the	effeminate	broadway	hopeful	determined	to	make	this	production	a	smashing	success	.	teaming	up	with	st	.	clair	are	a	handful	of	blaine	residents	:	allan	pearl	(	eugene	levy	)	,	a	jewish	dentist	who	spent	his	youth	not	as	the	class	clown	,	but	sitting	right	next	to	him	and	studying	him	,	ron	and	sheila	albertson	(	fred	willard	and	catherine	o'hara	respectively	)	,	a	married	couple	setting	their	sights	on	hollywood	,	libby	mae	brown	(	parker	posey	)	,	the	dense	but	fun	queen	of	the	dairy	queen	,	and	a	few	others	.	everybody	in	this	movie	is	brilliant	,	absolutely	so	,	but	levy	particularly	stands	out	.	these	characters	are	portrayed	with	such	saddening	realism	that	you	can't	help	but	love	them	,	as	pathetic	as	they	really	are	.	although	levy	stands	out	,	guest	,	willard	,	o'hara	,	and	posey	are	all	wonderful	and	definitely	should	be	commended	for	their	performances	!	if	there	was	an	oscar	for	an	ensemble	performance	,	this	is	the	group	that	should	sweep	it	.	some	humor	was	a	tad	uneven	from	the	rest	of	the	film	and	,	even	after	starting	very	humorously	,	they	nearly	lost	me	with	the	tad	too	long	intros	.	as	delightful	as	it	was	,	it	began	to	get	monotonous	.	thankfully	,	just	as	your	about	to	say	"	ok	,	maybe	i	should	run	to	the	bathroom	"	,	they	finally	get	past	the	intros	and	onto	the	rehearsal	scenes	.	like	a	play	,	this	film	gives	a	very	three	act	feel	,	the	intros	(	funny	,	but	almost	too	long	)	,	the	rehearsals	(	even	funnier	)	,	and	finally	,	the	actual	performance	of	the	play	(	excellent	!	)	.	like	i	said	,	each	character	really	shines	,	even	when	done	with	a	subtle	approach	.	you	can't	really	watch	these	people	and	not	think	they're	real	people	!	even	they	way	they	talk	,	with	awkward	pauses	and	stumbles	that	don't	feel	staged	at	all	,	you	feel	like	you're	watching	a	real	,	albeit	funny	,	documentary	.	and	even	with	silly	lyrics	,	the	original	songs	when	the	play	is	finally	put	on	,	are	absolutely	wonderful	!	as	a	word	of	note	,	despite	it's	"	r	"	rating	,	waiting	for	guffman	is	really	quite	clean	.	this	rating	came	from	a	brief	,	very	brief	use	of	the	grand	daddy	of	all	swear	words	.	even	if	that	really	bothers	you	,	let	me	say	that	it's	not	presented	in	a	vulgar	,	cheap	laugh	way	.	it's	actually	quite	humorous	and	tastefully	done	!	it	might	be	hard	knowing	what	to	expect	with	waiting	for	guffman	.	it's	silly	humor	,	but	it's	also	so	dry	,	subtle	,	and	intelligently	done	that	you're	not	insulted	by	it	.	it's	always	really	nice	to	see	a	comedy	that	isn't	all	slapstick	and	vulgarity	,	and	this	film	is	one	of	the	better	ones	of	the	better	ones	!	i'd	recommend	seeing	it	!
pos	ever	wonder	what	happened	to	gabe	kaplan	?	you	remember	,	he	was	the	title	character	in	that	70's	sitcom	,	"	welcome	back	kotter	.	"	always	trying	to	help	out	the	sweathogs	,	frequently	trying	to	dodge	mr	.	woodman	,	ever	wary	of	his	wife's	tuna	casserole	.	"	so	,	"	you	ask	,	"	where	is	he	now	?	"	mr	.	kaplan	actually	spends	much	of	his	time	these	days	playing	professional	high	stakes	poker	.	that's	right	.	i'm	not	sure	if	it's	his	main	source	of	income	,	but	from	what	i've	heard	,	the	guy	occasionally	comes	away	with	20	,	000	at	a	time	.	and	there	you	were	,	thinking	i	was	going	to	tell	you	he	was	doing	off	broadway	theater	.	you	silly	goose	.	well	,	gabe	kaplan	isn't	in	the	movie	rounders	,	nor	is	the	film	about	the	actor	come	gambler's	life	.	but	rounders	is	about	poker	,	and	gabe	plays	poker	,	and	i	thought	that	was	kind	of	a	neat	connection	.	sorry	about	the	segue	,	or	lack	thereof	.	matt	damon	plays	mike	mcdermott	,	a	law	student	who	also	has	a	singular	talent	for	the	game	of	poker	.	he's	been	playing	for	a	while	,	and	more	than	being	proficient	,	he	has	caught	the	bug	.	he	goes	to	all	the	underground	games	in	new	york	city	,	knows	the	regulars	,	and	knows	how	to	win	.	in	the	beginning	of	the	film	,	he's	built	up	a	nice	thirty	grand	nest	egg	,	which	he	takes	to	the	speakeasy	type	gaming	parlor	where	the	big	boys	play	.	mike	is	there	to	make	his	bid	into	the	upper	echelon	by	staking	it	all	against	teddy	kgb	(	john	malkovich	)	,	an	oreo	munching	cardshark	with	ties	to	the	russian	mafia	.	mike	has	the	potential	to	take	a	large	pot	and	go	to	vegas	and	buy	into	the	world	series	of	poker	,	but	instead	he	loses	it	all	in	a	single	hand	.	months	later	,	he's	paying	his	way	through	law	school	by	driving	a	delivery	truck	.	when	mike's	best	friend	and	poker	buddy	worm	(	edward	norton	)	finishes	his	jail	term	for	hustling	some	students	,	he	wants	to	pick	up	right	were	they	left	off	,	working	as	a	team	to	part	others	with	their	betting	cash	.	although	mike	has	stopped	playing	cards	as	a	promise	to	his	girlfriend	and	fellow	law	student	,	jo	(	gretchen	mol	)	,	worm	connives	mike	into	playing	once	more	,	and	mike	,	bitten	again	by	the	bug	,	slides	down	that	slippery	slope	,	risking	his	relationship	,	education	,	and	reputation	as	playing	poker	again	becomes	the	focus	of	his	life	.	to	make	a	film	about	gambling	,	a	filmmaker	will	usually	have	to	play	up	the	glamorous	side	to	get	the	audience	behind	the	characters	.	this	is	because	few	moviegoers	will	care	a	whole	lot	about	some	guy	in	a	leisure	suit	or	terry	cloth	shirt	sitting	at	a	folding	card	table	with	a	stogie	in	his	mouth	.	rounders	,	however	,	seems	to	go	more	for	the	latter	than	the	former	.	the	card	clubs	mike	and	worm	frequent	aren't	very	glamorous	at	all	.	there's	a	basement	,	a	lodge	with	elk	heads	on	the	wall	,	a	goulash	joint	these	are	the	kinds	of	locales	in	which	director	john	dahl	sets	his	shots	.	except	for	one	brief	instance	when	the	two	players	visit	atlantic	city	,	the	film	is	bereft	of	the	flashing	lights	of	the	casinos	or	the	pleasant	color	of	the	green	felt	table	.	the	reason	rounders	still	captures	our	attention	is	because	it	is	less	about	the	game	of	poker	than	it	is	about	the	personalities	which	enjoy	and	are	slaves	to	it	.	we're	given	a	nice	set	of	interesting	characters	with	clear	motivations	,	and	good	actors	to	play	them	.	matt	damon	is	very	natural	as	mike	,	who	struggles	between	his	desire	to	play	the	straight	and	narrow	by	finishing	law	school	,	and	answering	what	may	be	his	true	calling	,	playing	professional	poker	.	ed	norton's	worm	is	truly	a	worm	,	always	looking	for	the	angle	and	playing	everyone	for	what	they're	worth	.	john	turturro	,	who	amazes	me	with	his	acting	range	,	tones	it	down	in	this	film	by	playing	joey	knish	,	a	virtual	poker	prodigy	in	his	time	who	now	plays	the	underground	games	to	make	rent	and	child	support	payments	.	he's	both	a	friend	and	mentor	to	mike	,	and	turturro's	low	key	performance	is	totally	convincing	,	just	as	john	malkovich's	heavily	accented	teddy	kgb	is	imposing	as	an	adversarial	dragon	mike	must	slay	to	prove	himself	.	martin	landau	is	also	thrown	into	the	mix	as	one	of	mike's	law	professors	,	abe	petrovsky	.	while	landau	slips	well	into	the	role	,	his	character	,	spitting	out	personal	anecdotes	about	staying	true	to	one's	self	,	facilitates	the	channeling	of	the	storyline	toward	a	predictable	ending	.	perhaps	the	weak	link	in	the	otherwise	formidable	line	up	of	acting	talent	,	however	,	is	gretchen	mol	who	just	didn't	seem	to	have	much	presence	on	screen	.	she's	a	genuine	peach	to	look	at	,	kind	of	a	cross	between	actress	renee	zellweger	and	singer	jewel	(	and	i	wouldn't	be	surprised	if	the	three	of	them	formed	some	kind	of	blond	haired	triumvirate	and	attempted	to	take	over	the	world	)	,	but	her	delivered	lines	seemed	very	flat	,	and	i	found	myself	looking	for	matt	damon's	reactions	instead	.	a	good	thing	about	rounders	is	that	it	doesn't	get	bogged	down	in	the	character	development	and	statement	making	so	much	that	it	can't	find	time	for	humor	.	the	film	is	peppered	nicely	with	scenes	that	both	make	you	laugh	and	keep	the	pacing	going	,	such	as	a	sequence	where	mike	and	worm	move	rapidly	around	new	york	from	one	game	to	the	next	,	in	widely	different	locales	.	one	game	in	a	cigar	club	had	me	in	stitches	.	"	i	love	the	sweetness	of	this	dark	maduro	wrapper	,	"	says	one	of	the	players	,	clearly	more	interested	in	displaying	his	pretentiousness	over	the	cigar	in	one	hand	than	in	the	cards	in	his	other	.	i	was	hoping	mike	and	worm	would	really	take	these	guys	.	with	all	the	poker	being	played	,	rounders	had	the	potential	to	be	very	confusing	.	you	might	think	you	know	a	lot	about	poker	,	but	think	again	.	luckily	,	we're	given	a	narration	by	damon	during	the	more	intricate	moments	to	explain	what's	going	on	.	the	narrations	are	more	informative	than	intrusive	,	and	apprise	us	of	what	the	stakes	are	and	why	certain	players	want	to	do	the	things	they	do	.	it's	nice	that	as	the	characters	develop	,	so	does	our	comprehension	of	their	world	.	as	a	film	about	success	and	survival	in	the	realm	of	underground	poker	,	rounders	delivers	in	spades	.	wait	!	as	a	film	about	the	culture	of	cards	,	rounders	is	an	ace	.	hang	on	!	packed	with	great	acting	and	great	characters	,	rounders	is	a	full	house	.	okay	,	i	guess	that's	enough	.	oh	,	by	the	way	,	if	you	ever	want	to	get	into	a	game	with	ol'	gabe	kaplan	,	be	sure	to	bring	a	note	from	epstein's	mother	.
pos	you've	got	to	love	disney	.	no	matter	what	they	serve	up	,	it	is	a	guaranteed	success	as	long	as	it's	animated	.	kids	have	to	go	see	the	movie	.	then	they	have	to	get	the	toys	.	oh	,	the	video	came	out	?	got	to	buy	it	,	or	risk	little	billy's	temper	tantrums	for	the	next	month	.	all	of	this	culminates	in	the	childhood	equivalent	of	a	pilgrimage	to	mecca	:	a	visit	to	the	magic	kingdom	.	stay	at	the	disneyland	hotel	!	buy	a	disney	t	shirt	!	eat	an	ice	cream	mickey	mouse	on	a	stick	!	it's	both	a	vertical	and	horizontal	monopoly	when	you	think	about	it	.	dale	carnegie	should	have	had	it	so	good	.	what's	most	amazing	is	that	all	this	success	is	in	spite	of	a	severe	lack	of	originality	.	you	see	,	disney	animated	features	these	days	have	two	components	:	theme	and	plot	.	the	theme	changes	with	each	new	movie	;	the	plot	does	not	.	the	plot	is	a	mold	into	which	the	characters	of	some	ancient	fable	are	dropped	,	and	try	as	they	might	to	rise	above	the	characters	of	previous	features	,	they	are	nearly	always	destined	to	do	no	more	than	the	same	.	however	,	while	the	success	of	a	disney	animated	feature	is	generally	a	given	as	far	as	box	office	receipts	,	merchandising	dollars	,	and	glimmers	in	the	eyes	of	little	children	,	critically	they	are	as	varied	as	anything	else	that	hollywood	has	to	offer	.	luckily	,	disney's	latest	animated	offering	,	mulan	,	manages	to	be	engaging	and	refreshing	,	even	while	rife	with	formula	.	the	film	starts	with	the	invasion	of	ancient	china	by	the	huns	,	led	by	the	imposing	shan	yu	(	miguel	ferrer	)	.	soon	,	china's	emperor	(	pat	morita	)	mobilizes	his	armies	and	decrees	that	one	male	from	each	family	in	the	country	shall	serve	to	fight	in	china's	defense	.	when	the	fa	family	is	served	notice	,	it	is	the	elderly	father	,	fa	zhou	(	soon	tek	oh	)	who	must	answer	the	call	,	as	there	are	no	other	males	in	the	household	.	fearing	her	father	will	surely	be	killed	in	battle	,	fa	mulan	(	ming	na	wen	)	disguises	herself	as	a	man	and	sneaks	off	with	the	royal	orders	to	join	the	chinese	army	.	mulan	,	based	on	a	chinese	epic	poem	,	is	a	classic	tale	of	the	triumph	of	the	ugly	duckling	.	mulan	herself	is	a	disgrace	to	her	loving	family	,	as	she	has	a	difficult	time	fitting	into	the	traditional	woman's	role	,	and	in	a	very	amusing	scene	where	a	matchmaker	attempts	to	assess	her	value	to	a	potential	husband	,	we	see	that	"	grace	"	is	not	one	of	her	strong	points	.	very	early	on	,	we	are	presented	with	the	high	importance	of	bringing	honor	to	one's	family	,	and	by	botching	her	chance	at	gaining	the	favor	of	the	matchmaker	,	mulan	fails	at	that	task	.	by	leaving	home	to	fight	in	her	father's	place	,	she	may	not	only	spare	his	life	,	but	bring	honor	,	too	.	as	is	the	case	with	most	disney	musicals	,	the	songs	are	first	rate	and	pervasive	throughout	the	film	.	i'm	not	sure	if	they	will	get	much	airplay	,	but	at	least	one	of	the	songs	will	no	doubt	receive	recognition	come	oscar	time	.	both	lea	salonga	,	who	provides	the	singing	voice	for	mulan	,	and	donny	osmond	who	sings	for	shang	,	the	captain	of	mulan's	army	unit	and	obligatory	love	interest	,	are	more	than	competent	,	although	salonga's	voice	translates	much	better	to	animation	.	you	have	to	hear	it	to	understand	.	interestingly	,	the	musical	numbers	which	are	so	often	done	with	big	flourishes	are	surprisingly	muted	in	mulan	.	there	is	no	significantly	big	number	,	which	is	customary	as	the	second	or	third	song	in	a	disney	film	,	but	this	does	not	detract	significantly	from	the	rest	of	the	movie	.	it	is	,	however	,	an	expectation	which	has	been	built	by	disney's	own	formulaic	history	,	and	some	viewers	may	feel	as	if	something	is	missing	.	artistically	,	the	animators	have	chosen	to	adopt	the	more	subdued	pastels	of	chinese	artwork	,	and	although	this	may	not	live	up	to	the	vibrance	so	associated	with	many	of	the	other	disney	works	,	it	helps	to	contribute	a	more	authentic	,	and	therefore	more	credible	,	nature	to	what	otherwise	may	be	seen	as	a	typically	"	disneyfied	"	ethnic	tale	.	there	are	also	a	couple	of	visually	standout	scenes	,	one	involving	the	charge	of	shan	yu's	hun	army	,	which	utilizes	the	same	computer	enhanced	imagery	disney	animators	have	employed	since	the	chandelier	in	beauty	and	the	beast	.	the	other	scene	worth	mentioning	is	so	quick	you	might	miss	it	.	when	mulan	resolves	to	take	her	father's	place	,	she	dons	her	father's	old	battle	armor	,	and	unsheathes	a	sword	.	as	she	does	so	,	you	can	see	her	reflection	in	the	polished	metal	.	it	just	left	me	thinking	,	"	that	was	really	cool	.	"	a	wonderful	range	of	performances	delight	the	audience	throughout	the	film	,	varying	from	the	straight	,	such	as	soon	tek	oh	as	fa	zhou	,	to	the	comical	,	such	as	harvey	fierstein	as	yao	,	a	gruff	,	pugilistic	member	of	shang's	conscripted	army	.	even	more	outrageous	is	eddie	murphy	as	mushu	,	the	diminutive	guardian	dragon	sent	to	look	after	mulan	.	although	an	obvious	attempt	to	relive	the	chemistry	brought	forth	by	robin	williams	in	aladdin	,	murphy	nevertheless	distinguishes	himself	with	his	own	winning	performance	.	i	found	the	choice	of	b	.	d	.	wong	as	shang	a	little	strange	(	you	may	remember	him	as	martin	short's	wedding	planner	assistant	in	the	father	of	the	bride	)	,	but	they	used	robbie	benson	for	the	voice	of	the	beast	in	beauty	and	the	beast	,	so	i	guess	anything's	possible	.	in	any	event	,	wong	performs	admirably	as	well	.	one	character	which	provides	a	significant	amount	of	humor	is	grandmother	fa	.	she	deserves	recognition	not	only	because	of	the	levity	she	brings	to	the	movie	,	but	also	because	she	is	voiced	by	two	very	remarkable	people	.	june	foray	,	who	supplies	grandmother	fa's	speaking	voice	,	is	a	venerable	voice	actress	who	may	be	best	known	for	her	work	as	rocky	the	squirrel	and	natasha	fatale	(	as	in	boris	and	natasha	)	.	marni	nixon	,	who	provides	grandmother	fa's	singing	voice	,	is	the	same	vocalist	who	dubbed	the	voices	for	anna	in	the	king	and	i	,	maria	in	west	side	story	,	and	eliza	in	my	fair	lady	.	with	this	in	mind	,	hearing	grandmother	fa	is	like	listening	to	a	little	piece	of	history	.	mulan	is	the	latest	disney	animated	feature	to	get	away	from	some	of	the	eurocentrism	which	for	so	long	dominated	disney	films	.	in	an	effort	to	be	culturally	sensitive	(	and	to	avoid	a	"	miss	saigon	"	type	debacle	)	,	disney	has	also	wisely	chosen	to	employ	many	asian	american	actors	for	both	lead	and	supporting	roles	.	in	addition	to	the	actors	already	mentioned	,	the	cast	includes	such	ubiquitous	talents	as	james	hong	,	gedde	watanabe	,	james	shigeta	,	and	george	takei	.	i	guess	clyde	kusatsu	wasn't	available	.	at	a	running	time	of	slightly	under	an	hour	and	a	half	,	mulan	moves	quickly	and	provides	solid	entertainment	for	both	children	and	,	happily	,	adults	.	this	is	the	kind	of	disney	feature	that	makes	you	wonder	what	they	will	do	next	,	rather	than	hope	that	the	next	one	is	better	.
pos	i	must	admit	that	i	was	a	tad	skeptical	of	"	good	will	hunting	"	,	based	both	on	the	previews	and	the	first	fifteen	minutes	of	the	film	,	in	which	the	main	character	will	hunting	(	matt	damon	)	,	an	mit	janitor	in	his	early	twenties	,	is	discovered	to	be	an	einstein	level	closet	genius	when	he	solves	two	extraordinarily	difficult	math	problems	overnight	.	the	only	problem	is	that	will	is	a	tough	street	kid	who's	had	his	share	of	run	ins	with	the	law	,	and	before	long	he's	being	hauled	in	for	assault	after	a	parking	lot	fight	.	professor	lambeau	(	stellan	skarsgard	)	,	who	had	brought	up	the	math	problems	in	his	lectures	,	tracks	him	down	and	strikes	a	deal	with	the	police	:	will	is	to	be	released	,	provided	he	works	with	lambeau	on	his	math	research	regularly	and	attends	therapy	sessions	.	this	sounds	like	the	formula	for	mildly	charming	fluff	,	but	"	good	will	hunting	"	rises	above	its	fairly	mundane	premise	to	deliver	a	poignant	and	clever	drama	.	a	conflict	gradually	emerges	between	lambeau	and	will's	therapist	sean	mcguire	(	robin	williams	)	lambeau	wants	to	get	will	to	use	his	brain	,	while	sean	wants	him	to	listen	to	his	heart	,	both	of	which	he	has	been	largely	neglecting	.	will	finds	that	the	former	is	much	easier	than	the	latter	,	so	much	so	,	in	fact	,	that	he	gets	bored	with	it	and	grows	increasingly	resistant	to	lambeau's	attempts	to	recruit	him	into	the	academic	lifestyle	.	he	also	has	his	share	of	problems	with	his	girlfriend	skylar	(	minnie	driver	)	,	an	mit	student	who	is	moving	to	california	at	the	end	of	the	school	year	and	would	like	a	reluctant	will	to	come	with	her	.	what	makes	"	good	will	hunting	"	work	so	well	,	aside	from	the	strong	performances	(	especially	from	damon	and	williams	)	,	is	the	depth	of	characterization	and	the	representation	of	the	conflicts	in	will's	life	.	the	script's	sympathies	seem	to	lie	more	with	sean	mcguire	than	with	lambeau	,	but	neither	of	them	is	presented	as	completely	right	or	wrong	.	lambeau	,	while	he	may	seem	a	little	cold	at	times	,	is	still	written	well	enough	that	we	like	him	as	a	character	even	when	we're	not	sure	if	we	like	what	he	has	to	say	.	and	sean	,	for	all	his	warm	heartedness	,	has	,	as	lambeau	and	later	will	point	out	,	not	lived	up	to	his	full	intellectual	potential	either	;	the	therapy	sessions	turn	out	to	be	just	as	revelatory	for	sean	as	they	do	for	will	.	will's	reaction	to	this	situation	,	and	the	way	in	which	he	slowly	becomes	more	receptive	to	skylar	and	to	sean	,	is	presented	in	a	believable	fashion	and	in	a	way	that	forces	the	audience	to	consider	all	the	characters'	opinions	,	rather	than	setting	up	an	obvious	"	right	"	and	"	wrong	"	side	and	beating	them	over	the	head	with	it	.	for	a	film	with	such	an	extraordinary	character	,	"	good	will	hunting	"	presents	itself	as	remarkably	ordinary	;	it	achieves	the	difficult	task	of	making	the	next	albert	einstein	into	an	everyman	,	a	character	to	whom	the	audience	can	easily	relate	and	who	must	make	choices	similar	to	those	that	almost	everyone	faces	at	one	time	or	another	.	this	film	gives	us	real	drama	when	it	so	easily	could	have	given	us	merely	melodrama	,	by	having	the	government	kidnap	will	to	use	him	in	covert	spy	missions	or	introducing	some	other	equally	far	fetched	situation	.	"	good	will	hunting	"	also	has	its	share	of	fun	humor	,	such	as	when	will	,	in	an	early	therapy	session	,	pretends	to	be	hypnotized	and	smoothly	parodies	the	alien	abduction	scenarios	that	have	become	so	well	known	in	popular	culture	.	and	in	the	one	scene	in	which	government	agents	do	in	fact	appear	,	will	blows	them	off	with	a	hilariously	scathing	accusation	of	human	rights	violations	in	africa	.	will's	relationship	with	his	friends	,	most	notably	chucky	(	ben	affleck	)	,	is	usually	rather	amusing	,	if	somewhat	crude	(	the	film	has	100	uses	of	the	'f'	word	,	which	was	most	likely	the	reason	for	its	r	rating	)	,	and	lends	itself	well	to	the	development	of	will's	character	.	add	all	this	to	the	fact	that	"	good	will	hunting	"	even	manages	to	pull	off	an	uplifting	happy	ending	without	getting	excessively	sentimental	,	and	you	might	be	wondering	why	i	haven't	given	this	film	four	stars	.	well	,	for	one	thing	,	no	matter	how	well	damon	and	affleck	,	who	wrote	the	screenplay	,	and	director	gus	van	sant	pull	it	off	,	the	story	is	still	rather	contrived	and	not	particularly	original	.	there	are	also	a	few	scenes	that	did	feel	a	bit	formulaic	,	including	one	that	was	supposed	to	be	emotional	but	really	just	seemed	like	the	obligatory	crying	scene	for	any	movie	involving	therapy	sessions	.	still	,	"	good	will	hunting	"	takes	its	premise	a	lot	farther	than	i	thought	it	would	,	and	is	definitely	one	of	the	better	personal	dramas	i	have	seen	in	the	last	few	years	,	and	as	of	right	now	it	stands	as	one	of	the	top	five	on	my	list	of	'97	films	.
pos	from	the	moment	i	saw	trailers	for	lost	in	space	,	i	knew	i	would	probably	like	it	.	i	am	a	junky	when	it	comes	to	90s	science	fiction	,	especially	star	trek	and	the	x	files	.	now	,	after	watching	the	dvd	of	lost	in	space	,	i	can	say	that	none	of	my	expectations	for	the	film	were	bashed	.	okay	,	space	is	not	a	very	good	film	,	but	it	kept	me	entertained	for	two	hours	.	this	is	the	film	that	knocked	titanic	off	the	top	spot	on	the	box	office	charts	earlier	last	year	.	the	movie	adaptation	of	the	schlocky	60s	television	series	.	the	show	was	a	cheesy	bore	.	the	movie	version	is	the	same	thing	,	but	,	with	lively	visuals	and	a	nice	cast	.	it's	amazing	what	special	effects	can	do	for	a	film	;	space	is	a	mighty	achievement	in	brain	candy	.	the	story	tells	of	the	(	space	)	family	robinson	,	who's	goal	is	to	travel	to	a	distant	planet	(	i	forget	the	name	)	to	make	sure	it	can	be	colonized	,	for	earth	will	not	last	two	more	years	,	in	the	year	2043	.	this	is	the	only	movie	to	feature	a	whole	family	,	even	the	10	year	old	kid	,	as	scientists	and	astronauts	.	when	the	robinsons	launch	to	space	,	a	scientist	(	gary	oldman	)	,	who	was	hiding	in	the	ship's	bowels	,	takes	over	the	controls	,	while	the	family	are	in	hibernation	,	and	accidentally	send	the	ship	to	a	different	galaxy	through	some	space	gate	or	whatnot	.	lost	in	space	suffers	from	the	usual	hollywood	cliches	and	over	the	top	action	scenes	that	completely	destroyed	films	like	armageddon	and	con	air	.	but	,	it	does	have	a	nice	sense	of	adventure	not	found	in	many	sci	fi	movies	anymore	.	but	,	i	have	seen	a	number	of	better	sci	fi	films	within	the	past	two	years	,	including	the	x	files	,	star	trek	:	insurrection	,	event	horizon	,	and	sphere	.	plus	,	the	movie	kept	switching	from	kid	friendly	fluff	to	scary	monster	flick	.	the	dvd	features	a	number	of	fascinating	tidbits	,	including	a	music	video	(	for	the	annoying	song	that	plays	during	the	end	credits	)	,	original	cast	interviews	,	a	director	commentary	,	and	special	effects	featurette	.	however	,	i	was	very	disappointed	with	the	soundtrack	.	low	and	unspectacular	.
pos	running	time	:	90	minutes	(	1	hour	30	minutes	)	starring	jon	favreau	,	vince	vaughn	and	heather	graham	directed	by	doug	liman	another	'independent	film'	,	this	comedy	,	which	was	brought	by	miramax	for	5	million	,	is	good	fun	.	favreau	and	vaughn	(	the	lost	world	:	jurassic	park	,	1997	)	play	mike	and	trent	,	two	everyday	20somethings	on	the	lookout	for	women	.	the	film	just	basically	follows	their	plight	on	the	lookout	for	lurve	,	and	along	the	way	we	get	to	meet	some	of	their	friends	,	see	their	attempts	at	chatting	up	girls	,	and	just	basically	get	a	insight	into	their	lives	.	and	all	of	this	is	great	fun	.	swingers	doesn't	rely	on	huge	special	effects	,	or	big	name	stars	to	provide	entertainment	.	no	,	it	just	has	a	great	script	and	superb	little	known	actors	.	the	script	,	by	favreau	,	is	great	.	mike	is	always	missing	is	girlfriend	,	who	hasn't	called	him	for	six	months	,	and	every	time	he	meets	a	girl	,	he	always	end	up	telling	her	about	the	ex	.	the	audience	feels	for	this	pathetic	little	man	,	thanks	to	the	great	script	.	vaughn	is	'the	money'	(	swingers	speak	for	'the	best'	)	as	the	womanizing	trent	,	always	on	the	lookout	for	a	new	girl	.	some	of	his	chat	up	lines	are	awful	,	but	he	always	seems	to	get	the	girl	thanks	to	his	'hard	man'	nature	.	vaughns	character	also	gets	the	best	laugh	in	the	film	,	towards	the	end	in	a	diner	.	the	conversations	that	go	on	between	mike	and	trent	are	great	,	but	it	never	quite	reaches	tarantino	standards	(	which	i	suspect	the	film	was	trying	to	reach	.	)	there	are	some	excellent	,	laugh	out	loud	jokes	in	the	film	,	and	some	superbly	funny	set	pieces	(	such	as	favreau	cringe	worhy	battle	with	a	answer	machine	that	always	cut	him	off	before	he	finishes	his	sentence	.	embarrassing	to	him	,	hilarious	to	the	audience	.	)	mike	trents	friends	are	also	good	,	although	there	characters	seem	a	bit	underwritten	,	and	we	never	really	learn	as	much	as	we	would	like	about	them	.	although	this	is	primarily	mike	and	trents	film	,	it	would	of	been	nice	to	learn	a	bit	more	about	their	friends	.	they	just	seem	to	wander	aimlessly	in	the	background	.	but	again	,	the	lines	they	say	are	usually	pretty	good	,	and	they	do	have	some	funny	parts	.	it's	just	a	shame	that	they	didn't	have	more	meatier	roles	.	the	acting	is	superb	.	as	said	above	,	vaughn	is	superb	as	trent	,	he's	definitely	the	best	thing	in	the	film	.	favreau	is	also	good	,	acting	as	'the	little	man'	very	well	,	and	the	way	he	always	feels	sorry	for	himself	is	very	funny	.	graham	(	boogie	nights	,	1997	)	has	a	small	but	good	role	as	lorraine	,	a	girl	mike	finally	falls	in	love	with	.	she	hardly	features	in	the	film	at	all	,	but	she	still	manages	to	make	an	impact	on	the	audience	.	swingers	,	then	,	is	funny	,	but	it	does	have	some	flaws	.	firstly	,	the	running	time	is	a	bit	too	short	.	the	film	comes	to	an	abrupt	halt	,	and	i	actually	wanted	the	film	to	carry	on	longer	.	it	never	really	comes	to	a	satisfying	conclusion	,	which	is	a	shame	,	as	most	films	are	too	long	!	also	,	this	type	of	film	has	been	done	too	many	times	,	such	as	sleep	with	me	(	1994	)	.	but	these	small	flaws	don't	really	spoil	what	is	a	funny	,	entertaining	comedy	.
pos	the	disney	studios	has	its	formula	for	annual	,	full	length	animated	features	down	so	pat	that	it's	hard	to	remember	which	one	you're	watching	at	any	given	moment	.	once	again	we	have	a	tale	focused	around	a	strong	central	character	(	female	as	usual	;	disney	is	one	of	the	few	studios	whose	heroines	ariel	,	belle	,	pocahontas	,	and	now	mulan	get	equal	screen	time	with	their	heroes	in	recent	years	)	.	add	the	requisite	love	interest	and	a	wise	cracking	sidekick	or	two	,	pep	up	the	soundtrack	with	a	handful	of	strategically	placed	show	tunes	(	an	introspective	number	by	a	pool	or	looking	in	a	mirror	,	a	rousing	anthem	,	a	cutesy	,	montage	backed	crowd	pleaser	)	,	pose	a	few	threats	to	our	engaging	lead	,	and	tie	things	all	up	neatly	by	the	closing	credits	.	bob's	your	uncle	!
pos	er	is	een	leuke	vondst	in	deze	film	.	in	het	amerika	van	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	woedt	er	een	grote	orkaan	,	genaamd	geraldo	.	met	deze	naam	verwijst	ohn	grisham	naar	de	onderwerpen	in	deze	film	:	scheidingen	,	ontvoeringen	,	mysterieuze	sektes	,	stoere	advocaten	en	drugsverslaving	.	met	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	heeft	grisham	dus	een	andere	weg	ingeslagen	.	samen	met	regisseur	robert	altman	heeft	hij	ervoor	gezorgd	dat	deze	film	een	stuk	realistischer	is	dan	de	anderen	.	rick	magruder	(	kenneth	branagh	)	is	een	succesvolle	advocaat	,	die	gescheiden	is	van	leeanne	(	famke	janssen	)	en	niet	vaak	z'n	kinderen	ziet	.	na	een	grote	zaak	gewonnen	te	hebben	,	gaat	hij	terug	naar	z'n	kantoor	om	de	overwinning	met	z'n	collega's	te	vieren	.	aan	het	einde	van	de	avond	heeft	magruder	genoeg	op	en	besluit	terug	naar	huis	te	rijden	.	dan	ziet	hij	dat	iemand	een	auto	steelt	en	er	meteen	mee	vandoor	gaat	.	de	eigenaresse	van	de	wagen	,	serveerster	mallory	doss	(	embeth	davidtz	)	,	blijft	alleen	achter	.	magruder	biedt	z'n	hulp	aan	en	samen	rijden	ze	naar	haar	huis	.	eenmaal	aangekomen	ontdekken	ze	dat	haar	auto	nu	voor	het	huis	geparkeerd	is	.	doss	gaat	samen	met	magruder	voorzichtig	naar	binnen	,	in	de	veronderstelling	dat	de	dief	nu	binnen	is	.	de	deur	is	open	,	de	televisie	staat	aan	en	de	lichten	zijn	nu	opeens	volop	aan	het	schijnen	.	het	komt	doss	zeer	bekend	voor	en	al	snel	heeft	ze	in	de	gaten	wat	er	aan	de	hand	is	:	haar	vader	dixon	doss	(	robert	duvall	)	,	lid	van	een	mysterieuze	groep	,	is	weer	begonnen	met	'stalken'	.	magruder	wilt	haar	graag	helpen	en	geeft	deze	zaak	aan	clyde	(	robert	downey	jr	.	)	,	die	graag	aan	de	drank	zit	.	de	vader	wordt	snel	gevonden	en	naar	de	rechtbank	gebracht	.	daar	wordt	hij	schuldig	bevonden	.	luid	protesterend	gaat	hij	naar	de	gevangenis	.	magruder	en	doss	denken	nu	dat	de	zaak	gesloten	is	.	fout	.	de	rest	van	de	sekte	weet	dixon	uit	de	gevangenis	te	halen	,	zodat	hij	weer	kan	beginnen	met	het	stalken	van	z'n	dochter	.	met	nu	iin	verschil	:	de	kinderen	van	magruder	worden	nu	ook	bedreigd	.	magruder	krijgt	het	benauwd	en	haalt	in	een	paniekerige	bui	z'n	kinderen	van	schhool	.	maar	dat	blijkt	niet	genoeg	te	zijn	.	.	.	dat	robert	altman	de	regisseur	is	van	deze	film	,	is	te	merken	.	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	druipt	namelijk	van	de	sfeer	.	met	veel	regen	,	stormen	en	orkanen	wordt	de	toon	gezet	voor	duistere	,	persoonlijke	zaken	.	het	geeft	de	film	iets	bijzonders	,	net	zoals	de	mooie	openingsschne	.	ook	zorgt	de	orkaan	'geraldo'	voor	veel	spannende	momenten	,	want	het	is	in	feite	een	voorbode	van	wat	er	gebeuren	zal	.	ondanks	de	eerder	genoemde	pluspunten	blijft	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	een	doorsnee	thriller	.	de	rol	van	tom	berenger	als	pete	randle	,	ex	man	van	mallory	doss	,	is	zo	klein	,	dat	het	net	zo	goed	weggeschreven	kon	worden	.	ook	zijn	er	veel	gaten	in	het	verhaal	,	zodat	de	kijker	vaak	in	het	duister	moet	tasten	.	niettemin	is	deze	thriller	van	robert	altman	een	intrigerende	,	sfeervolle	film	.	de	ouwe	kerel	heeft	z'n	stijl	niet	verloren	.
pos	the	grim	reaper	comes	to	earth	in	the	delectable	form	of	brad	pitt	in	martin	(	scent	of	a	woman	)	brest's	90	million	remake	of	the	1934	romantic	comedy	death	takes	a	holiday	.	pitt	plays	death	,	who	adapts	a	human	form	to	learn	more	about	what	makes	us	mere	mortals	tick	.	he	has	ostensibly	come	to	claim	william	parrish	(	anthony	hopkins	)	,	a	self	made	millionaire	,	but	decides	to	spend	a	week	in	his	company	learning	more	about	the	human	condition	.	parrish	is	the	only	one	aware	of	pitt's	true	identity	,	and	he	introduces	the	enigmatic	stranger	to	his	family	as	joe	black	.	it	is	the	week	of	parrish's	65th	birthday	,	and	his	oldest	daughter	allison	(	marcia	gay	harden	,	from	flubber	,	etc	)	is	planning	a	lavish	party	.	parrish	also	has	to	deal	with	a	take	over	bid	from	a	business	rival	who	wants	to	strip	his	global	communication	company	and	sell	off	its	assets	.	he	also	has	to	deal	with	treachery	from	within	his	own	board	.	parrish	has	plenty	of	time	to	come	to	terms	with	his	own	mortality	and	the	legacy	that	he	will	leave	behind	.	meanwhile	,	joe	falls	heavily	in	love	with	parrish's	beautiful	young	daughter	susan	(	claire	forlani	,	sean	connery's	daughter	in	the	rock	,	etc	)	.	as	with	his	character	in	the	recent	seven	years	in	tibet	,	pitt's	human	incarnation	of	death	undergoes	a	spiritual	transformation	,	as	he	comes	to	learn	about	love	,	loss	and	the	pain	of	being	human	.	inevitably	,	some	hard	choices	will	have	to	be	made	,	both	by	joe	and	parrish	.	meet	joe	black	explores	some	wonderful	themes	and	ideas	,	and	the	climax	delivers	a	superb	emotional	payoff	.	unfortunately	,	it	takes	far	too	long	to	get	there	.	brest's	deliberately	languid	direction	perfectly	suits	the	occasionally	sombre	tone	of	the	material	,	but	,	at	nearly	three	hours	long	,	the	pace	tends	to	drag	and	many	in	the	audience	will	tire	of	the	film	.	the	1934	version	told	much	the	same	story	in	half	the	time	.	with	judicious	trimming	of	some	unnecessary	padding	,	meet	joe	black	would	be	tighter	and	far	more	enjoyable	.	however	,	the	film	does	have	its	compensations	.	it	looks	fabulous	,	thanks	to	the	opulent	production	design	of	dante	ferretti	,	a	favourite	of	scorsese	,	and	the	warm	cinematography	of	emmanuel	lubezki	.	there	is	also	the	usual	strong	performance	from	the	dependable	hopkins	.	and	pitt	and	forlani	make	a	handsome	,	attractive	couple	eye	candy	for	the	younger	generation	.	the	camera	loves	pitt	,	and	seems	to	caress	his	blue	eyes	,	his	seductive	smile	and	his	air	of	boyish	innocence	.	if	only	death	always	looked	this	good	then	we	might	be	more	willing	to	go	quietly	into	that	dark	night	.	meeting	joe	black	is	not	such	a	bad	experience	,	it	just	could	have	been	so	much	more	enjoyable	and	memorable	!
pos	story	by	jonas	pate	,	josh	pate	,	michael	wexler	,	peter	glatzer	.	screenplay	by	jonas	pate	and	josh	pate	.	directed	by	jonas	pate	.	starring	craig	scheffer	,	gabrielle	anwar	,	josh	charles	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	and	profanity	)	90	mins	.	synopsis	:	a	raspy	voiced	prisoner	about	to	be	executed	tells	a	priest	a	story	about	a	bunch	of	exconvicts	,	parolees	,	and	crooked	cops	who	plunder	graves	to	find	the	key	to	a	fortune	.	comments	:	the	grave	runs	like	a	movie	length	episode	of	"	tales	from	the	crypt	.	"	whether	or	not	you	like	this	movie	would	depend	largely	upon	whether	or	not	you	like	the	gory	antics	,	which	are	often	played	humorously	,	of	the	cryptkeeper's	comic	book	stories	.	it's	certainly	not	for	everyone	.	the	grave	,	like	one	of	those	fables	from	"	tales	from	the	crypt	,	"	features	dumb	as	rocks	,	surreal	characters	who	greedily	screw	each	other	over	to	gain	treasure	.	the	plot's	mystery	is	laughably	,	almost	painfully	,	obvious	.	the	humor	,	dark	as	it	is	,	comes	from	watching	despicable	characters	bumble	around	,	trying	to	figure	out	things	which	normal	people	would	easily	grasp	.	one	must	throw	realism	out	the	door	to	appreciate	a	movie	like	this	.	the	grave	,	once	the	shadowy	narrator	has	begun	the	tale	,	opens	in	north	carolina	.	upon	hearing	about	a	grave	which	holds	the	key	to	buried	treasure	,	two	convicts	escape	their	prison	and	trek	around	the	countryside	in	a	mini	odyssey	to	get	to	this	grave	.	one	of	them	doesn't	make	it	far	due	to	a	gunshot	wound	.	in	the	meantime	,	a	number	of	dimwitted	characters	come	in	and	out	of	the	picture	.	each	one	has	a	remarkedly	disgusting	tale	to	tell	,	but	most	of	them	,	surprisingly	,	have	something	rather	insightful	to	say	somewhere	in	their	blatherings	.	the	storyline	,	though	inconceivably	unrealistic	(	the	convicts	,	for	example	,	easily	escape	prison	and	hang	out	in	obvious	places	which	authorities	would	check	out	)	,	plays	out	interestingly	enough	.	the	secret	of	the	grave	is	comically	apparent	even	though	it	takes	three	moonlit	trips	to	the	graveyard	for	the	bad	guys	to	figure	it	out	.	the	mystery	of	the	narrator's	identity	will	keep	most	people	guessing	until	it's	revealed	at	the	end	,	though	.	the	actors	do	a	suitable	job	for	a	film	of	this	nature	.	they	seem	universally	unappealing	,	which	is	exactly	how	they	should	be	viewed	.	the	attractive	b	movie	actress	gabrielle	anwar	does	a	particularly	nice	job	portraying	the	smarmy	girlfriend	of	one	of	the	convicts	.	veteran	film	actors	anthony	michael	hall	and	eric	roberts	also	put	in	enjoyable	performances	here	.	even	if	one	likes	films	of	this	genre	(	a	suspense	film	,	bordering	on	comedy	,	populated	by	anti	heroes	in	darkly	cartoonish	situations	)	,	he	would	find	faults	with	this	movie	.	some	of	the	scenes	which	try	to	be	morbidly	humorous	fall	flat	.	plus	,	the	exaggerated	country	southern	dialects	become	tired	at	times	and	prove	hard	to	follow	at	other	times	.	all	in	all	,	however	,	the	grave	is	an	entertaining	cheap	turkey	for	those	who	like	black	comedy	.	between	the	goofy	hick	characters	and	the	soundtrack	(	a	catchy	,	eclectic	mix	of	fiddles	,	banjos	,	guitars	,	mandolins	,	and	harmonicas	)	,	it	seems	somewhat	unique	.	i'll	give	it	a	qualified	,	passing	recommendation	.
pos	i've	noticed	something	lately	that	i've	never	thought	of	before	.	pseudo	substance	hollywood	faking	deep	meanings	in	their	films	.	have	you	ever	seen	a	movie	that	you	really	enjoyed	,	then	when	you	look	back	,	you	realize	there	was	something	missing	?	more	and	more	,	filmmakers	seem	to	be	putting	out	well	rehearsed	,	melodramatic	films	that	evoke	strong	connotations	of	being	a	great	film	,	but	if	you	step	aside	and	reflect	on	your	movie	going	experience	,	you	may	just	discover	nothing	more	than	elegantly	presented	fluff	.	i'm	not	trying	to	say	city	of	angels	is	that	bad	.	it	had	a	lot	going	for	it	,	but	somewhere	along	the	way	,	it	faltered	.	somehow	,	underneath	the	seemingly	poetic	beauty	of	it	all	,	there	was	a	gigantic	hole	somebody	covered	with	iridescent	performances	and	glossy	cinematography	.	the	predictable	ending	that	shattered	our	hopes	(	even	though	we	saw	it	coming	)	only	added	to	the	disappointment	.	but	for	over	an	hour	,	city	of	angels	is	well	worth	the	time	.	nicolas	cage	is	seth	,	a	guardian	angel	who	,	like	hundreds	(	likely	thousands	or	even	millions	)	of	other	angels	,	spends	eternity	watching	over	the	citizens	of	mortality	;	humans	never	aware	of	how	much	celestial	intervention	occurs	in	their	life	.	meg	ryan	,	in	her	most	subdued	performance	yet	,	plays	maggie	,	a	doctor	who	begins	to	ponder	exactly	who	it	is	we're	fighting	against	when	we	fight	to	keep	someone	alive	.	after	losing	a	patient	on	the	surgery	table	,	these	questions	envelope	maggie	,	and	seth	,	the	angel	who	was	there	to	oversee	the	patient's	transition	into	the	afterlife	,	is	immediately	captivated	by	the	doctor	.	he	begins	following	and	observing	maggie	,	falling	more	and	more	in	love	with	her	everyday	.	angels	,	who	we	quickly	learn	are	not	and	never	were	humans	,	can	not	experience	human	sensations	such	as	taste	and	touch	,	but	they	do	have	the	ability	to	make	themselves	seen	to	anyone	they	desire	.	seth's	adoration	is	too	much	to	resist	,	and	eventually	he	does	appear	to	maggie	,	quite	regularly	,	although	such	a	thing	seems	taboo	among	the	angelic	community	.	the	angels	are	interestingly	presented	,	all	of	them	dressed	in	black	and	more	reminiscent	of	hitmen	than	traditional	glowing	white	entities	,	but	it's	a	nice	touch	that	never	seems	like	a	mere	attempt	at	uniqueness	.	cage	is	a	wonderfully	versatile	actor	(	think	face	off	,	raising	arizona	,	and	it	could	happen	to	you	what	a	combo	!	)	who	slips	into	the	role	of	a	heavenly	agent	quite	nicely	but	threatens	sappiness	more	than	once	.	it's	nice	to	see	ryan	pick	up	roles	like	this	and	the	one	in	courage	under	fire	.	the	two	aren't	very	comparable	to	each	other	,	but	they	both	deviate	from	her	usual	"	intelligently	ditzy	"	romantic	comedy	roles	,	and	it's	an	impressive	side	of	ryan	movie	goers	rarely	have	the	chance	to	enjoy	.	but	even	though	the	two	leads	do	an	impressive	job	,	it	is	dennis	franz	who	grabs	us	with	his	interpretation	of	a	hospital	patient	who	knows	more	than	meets	the	eye	.	it's	a	shame	that	with	so	much	going	for	it	,	city	of	angels	falters	so	much	in	its	final	stages	,	leaving	us	with	the	realization	that	an	emotionally	incredible	movie	was	out	there	,	they	just	didn't	know	quite	how	to	get	to	it	.	they	struggle	for	an	impacting	conclusion	and	wind	up	with	painful	thud	rather	than	an	exhilarating	high	.	filmmakers	should	know	your	final	impression	will	be	the	one	you	linger	on	,	remember	,	and	convey	to	others	thru	word	of	mouth	,	so	after	telling	us	for	60	minutes	that	this	film	is	a	glorious	masterpiece	,	they	sure	leave	us	with	a	disheartening	taste	of	mediocrity	in	our	mouths	.	based	on	the	german	film	wings	of	desire	(	that	being	the	english	title	,	of	course	)	,	city	of	angels	is	ninety	percent	success	,	enough	to	make	most	people	forgive	its	shortcomings	,	even	the	devastatingly	disappointing	ending	.	most	movie	goers	,	the	non	cynics	anyway	,	will	be	too	wrapped	up	in	the	surreal	atmosphere	to	give	criticism	to	that	which	needs	to	be	criticized	.	nonetheless	,	city	of	angels	is	beautifully	captivating	,	which	is	probably	enough	to	satisfy	those	poetic	viewers	who	will	appreciate	a	delve	into	rich	emotional	territories	.
pos	directed	by	sam	raimi	.	cast	:	cate	blanchett	,	greg	kinnear	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	katie	holmes	,	hilary	swank	,	keanu	reeves	,	kim	dickens	,	gary	cole	,	michael	jeter	,	j	.	k	.	simmons	,	rosemary	harris	,	chelcie	ross	,	john	beasley	,	danny	elfman	.	2000	111	minutes	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	profanity	,	sexual	situations	,	and	nudity	)	.	reviewed	by	dustin	putman	,	january	20	,	2001	.	gothic	murder	mystery	yarns	are	not	a	new	conceit	.	in	fact	,	they've	been	around	in	books	and	on	film	for	many	,	many	years	.	without	the	proper	handling	,	they	come	off	as	old	fashioned	,	bland	,	and	outdated	.	"	the	gift	,	"	directed	by	sam	raimi	,	is	a	tried	and	true	effort	that	surprises	very	little	,	and	includes	everything	from	a	wide	array	of	suspects	and	red	herrings	,	to	mansions	in	the	deep	south	with	moss	trees	out	front	,	to	the	eventual	discovery	of	a	waterlogged	corpse	found	in	a	nearby	pond	.	it's	fairly	obvious	who	the	killer	is	;	in	fact	,	i	predicted	who	it	would	be	before	the	movie	began	and	was	correct	in	my	preliminary	suspicions	.	the	film	ultimately	shouldn't	work	,	but	it	does	,	thanks	to	a	sparkling	cast	that	fills	each	character	with	so	many	memorable	nuances	,	the	most	fun	to	be	had	is	in	simply	watching	the	people	interact	with	each	other	.	annie	wilson	(	cate	blanchett	)	is	a	recently	widowed	mother	of	three	sons	who	makes	her	living	giving	psychic	readings	to	the	residents	of	her	backwater	southern	hometown	.	some	of	her	mainstay	clients	include	valerie	barksdale	(	hilary	swank	)	,	who	is	severely	abused	by	her	husband	donnie	(	keanu	reeves	)	,	and	buddy	cole	(	giovanni	ribisi	)	,	an	unstable	mechanic	who	is	confused	by	the	nightmares	he's	been	having	about	a	mysterious	blue	diamond	that	is	somehow	linked	to	his	father	.	for	annie	,	she	does	not	give	the	readings	merely	for	money	,	but	uses	it	as	a	way	of	seeking	solace	in	finding	the	good	in	everyone's	future	.	her	late	grandmother	(	rosemary	harris	)	told	her	as	a	child	that	it	was	a	gift	she	was	given	,	and	she	should	always	remember	that	.	when	annie's	eldest	son	is	involved	in	a	fight	at	school	,	she	meets	the	nice	guy	school	principal	,	wayne	collins	(	greg	kinnear	)	,	whom	she	finds	herself	attracted	to	.	but	wayne	is	engaged	to	the	wealthy	jessica	king	(	katie	holmes	)	,	whom	annie	immediately	gets	a	negative	vibe	about	.	at	a	party	with	her	best	friend	linda	(	kim	dickens	)	,	annie	stumbles	upon	jessica	in	a	compromising	position	with	lawyer	david	duncan	(	gary	cole	)	.	soon	after	,	jessica	has	disappeared	,	leaving	everyone	in	a	frenzy	over	what	could	have	possibly	happened	to	her	,	and	annie	starts	to	have	nightmares	and	apparitions	linking	jessica	with	the	vicious	redneck	donnie	barksdale	,	and	the	pond	behind	his	home	.	"	the	gift	"	may	be	cliched	on	a	sheer	storytelling	level	,	but	the	performances	and	tight	direction	from	raimi	(	who	has	redeemed	himself	for	his	embarrassing	last	film	,	1999's	"	for	love	of	the	game	"	)	lift	the	picture	up	several	notches	.	slowly	enveloping	the	viewer	into	the	many	intriguing	characters	and	their	individual	plights	,	the	disappearance	of	jessica	at	the	30	minute	mark	divulges	the	movie's	true	intentions	and	transforms	the	proceedings	into	a	taut	,	at	times	frightening	,	horror	mystery	.	at	the	center	of	the	film	is	the	exceptional	cate	blanchett	(	1999's	"	the	talented	mr	.	ripley	"	)	,	who	turns	annie	wilson	from	what	could	have	been	little	more	than	a	run	of	the	mill	protagonist	into	a	very	exact	,	down	to	earth	,	realistic	person	with	valid	troubles	and	a	caring	attitude	towards	those	around	her	.	blanchett	takes	the	unextraordinary	material	and	runs	with	it	,	giving	the	entire	film	a	truly	classy	aura	that	it	otherwise	might	not	have	had	.	we	follow	her	at	every	turn	because	she	is	so	mesmerizing	,	both	as	a	character	and	an	actress	.	blanchett	isn't	the	only	bright	performer	,	as	she	is	ably	supported	by	one	of	the	best	casts	of	the	year	.	in	her	first	role	following	her	oscar	win	for	1999's	"	boys	don't	cry	,	"	hilary	swank	is	excellent	as	the	confused	valerie	,	who	seeks	guidance	from	annie	,	but	is	too	scared	to	take	her	biggest	advice	of	all	:	to	leave	the	grossly	abusive	donnie	.	as	donnie	,	keanu	reeves	(	2000's	"	the	watcher	"	)	makes	an	utterly	convincing	backwoods	meanie	,	so	much	so	that	it	is	difficult	to	believe	he	is	an	actor	at	all	.	for	the	often	criticized	reeves	,	whose	acting	abilities	have	never	been	the	best	,	this	is	the	biggest	compliment	he	could	possibly	get	,	and	it	is	also	one	of	the	better	performances	he	has	given	.	giovanni	ribisi	(	2000's	"	the	boiler	room	"	)	is	heartbreaking	as	a	mentally	slow	young	man	who	sees	annie	as	his	only	friend	,	and	wants	her	to	do	nothing	but	help	him	understand	why	he	is	being	plagued	by	bad	dreams	about	his	dad	.	in	the	small	,	but	pivotal	role	of	the	sleazy	jessica	king	,	katie	holmes	(	2000's	"	wonder	boys	"	)	has	turned	in	yet	another	stunning	supporting	turn	.	her	promiscuous	role	of	jessica	is	one	she	has	never	played	before	,	and	she	is	radiant	in	her	few	scenes	.	finally	,	kim	dickens	(	2000's	"	hollow	man	"	)	makes	her	usual	strong	impression	as	annie's	spicy	best	friend	,	linda	.	the	other	notable	aspect	of	"	the	gift	"	is	its	moody	atmosphere	that	lays	such	a	thickly	foreboding	air	over	every	scene	it's	almost	suffocating	.	thanks	to	cleverly	construed	editing	by	arthur	coburn	and	bob	murawski	,	and	the	successful	use	of	different	eerie	sounds	effects	and	a	very	good	music	score	by	christopher	young	,	the	movie	not	only	achieves	a	scary	undercurrent	,	but	one	that	is	filled	with	dread	.	helped	along	by	a	strong	screenplay	by	billy	bob	thornton	and	tom	epperson	,	which	makes	the	most	of	its	setting	and	delightful	cast	,	"	the	gift	"	is	that	rarest	of	thrillers	that	actually	thrills	,	and	offers	up	a	fair	share	of	chills	,	too	.	it	may	not	be	groundbreakingly	original	,	but	it	sure	is	an	entertaining	ride	for	the	duration	of	its	running	time	.	copyright	2001	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	dustin	putman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	dustin	putman	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	atnzone	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	atnzone	.	com	a
pos	at	one	point	during	brian	de	palma's	crime	epic	scarface	,	the	radiant	michelle	pfeiffer	turns	to	a	ranting	al	pacino	and	pops	a	question	that	the	audience	has	no	doubt	been	wanting	to	ask	for	themselves	:	"	can't	you	stop	saying	'fuck'	all	the	time	?	"	fucking	good	question	,	that	.	it	may	not	be	an	honour	that	instills	the	filmmakers	with	pride	,	but	as	far	as	i	can	tell	oliver	stone's	script	contains	the	said	expletitive	more	times	than	any	other	film	in	cinema	history	.	yet	it	would	be	a	shame	if	bad	language	is	all	de	palma's	scarface	is	remembered	for	,	because	this	is	a	damn	fine	gangstar	flick	.	the	overall	structure	is	similar	to	howard	hawks'	1932	original	,	but	this	time	the	scene	has	switched	to	miami	,	florida	and	our	anti	hero's	chosen	vice	is	cocaine	traffiking	.	pacino	,	sporting	a	thick	cuban	accent	,	gives	one	the	best	performances	of	his	career	(	golden	globe	nominated	)	as	tony	montana	,	a	cuban	refugee	with	a	criminal	past	who	flees	castro	and	comes	to	america	to	live	the	american	dream	.	and	live	it	out	he	does	,	with	lashings	of	violence	,	abuse	,	murder	and	the	funny	white	powder	.	from	his	earliest	jobs	as	a	drug	runner	for	various	middlemen	,	tony	montana	makes	it	clear	to	everyone	he	meets	that	he's	not	a	man	to	be	fucked	(	sorry	)	.	soon	he's	the	king	of	the	cocaine	heap	,	but	his	hot	head	and	an	increasingly	out	of	control	drug	addiction	prove	his	undoing	.	"	never	do	your	own	stash	"	,	warns	one	character	early	in	the	film	.	as	sure	as	night	follows	day	,	the	emperor	of	miami	eventually	falls	.	writer	oliver	stone	and	director	brian	de	palma	make	an	explosive	combination	here	.	stone's	script	offers	solid	storytelling	and	some	fine	character	development	.	montana	is	fascinating	;	uneducated	but	calculating	,	a	straight	shooter	who	speaks	from	the	heart	;	an	ambitious	,	violent	man	yet	one	with	a	conscience	.	a	man	fiercely	protective	of	his	beautiful	20	year	old	sister	,	not	wanting	her	to	be	sucked	into	the	glitzy	,	dangerous	world	which	he	inhabits	.	pacino	is	dynamite	,	taking	to	the	role	with	a	brooding	,	bristling	energy	which	in	his	more	recent	films	has	often	degenerated	into	just	simple	overracting	.	pfeiffer	also	registers	strongly	as	the	gangstar	mole	with	no	inner	life	.	only	once	does	tony	express	real	affection	for	her	and	his	desire	to	have	children	,	and	even	then	you	sense	all	he	really	wants	is	a	regular	screw	and	a	beautiful	object	to	show	off	to	his	friends	,	and	she's	happy	to	oblige	.	this	isn't	as	meaty	a	role	for	pfieffer	as	sharon	stone's	was	in	casino	,	but	its	an	effective	one	nonetheless	and	she	aquits	herself	well	.	as	director	,	de	palma	sets	up	a	number	of	dramatic	scenes	with	his	typical	stylistic	brauva	.	the	escalating	tension	he	creates	in	various	mob	situations	a	drug	deal	gone	wrong	,	an	assination	attempt	is	often	thrilling	,	and	in	this	respect	he	is	every	bit	the	equal	of	scorese	and	coppola	.	where	he	differs	from	,	say	,	coppola's	godfather	trilogy	is	in	his	overall	treatment	.	coppola	gives	his	crime	sagas	an	operatic	sweep	,	whereas	in	scarface	de	palma	opts	for	a	grittier	feel	.	and	it	perfectly	suits	the	material	.	the	only	major	botch	is	giorgio	moroder's	mostly	crap	synthesier	score	.	it's	just	not	right	,	and	unfortunately	compromises	the	impact	of	some	otherwise	good	scenes	.	as	expected	,	scarface	is	very	violent	at	times	,	but	you	shouldn't	be	watching	gangster	movies	if	that	upsets	you	.	at	over	two	and	a	half	hours	in	length	it's	a	true	epic	,	and	if	you're	a	fan	of	the	genre	you'll	love	f	k	filled	minute	of	it	.
pos	synopsis	:	in	this	movie	,	steven	spielberg	,	one	of	today's	finest	directors	,	attempts	to	spice	up	the	1800s	story	of	a	long	courtroom	battle	over	the	fate	of	prisoner	cinque	(	djimon	hounsou	)	a	young	angry	man	from	sierra	leone	who	was	kidnapped	into	slavery	and	his	fellow	prisoners	.	cinque	and	friends	have	landed	a	ship	on	the	shores	of	america	after	escaping	spanish	slave	traders	,	but	since	the	americans	don't	speak	cinque's	language	,	the	black	men	are	hauled	into	court	to	determine	whether	or	not	they	are	legally	slaves	.	technically	,	since	the	international	slave	trade	was	outlawed	at	that	time	,	people	like	cinque	couldn't	be	kidnapped	into	slavery	;	one	had	to	be	born	a	slave	to	be	legally	considered	a	slave	.	lawyers	baldwin	and	adams	(	matthew	mcconaughey	and	anthony	hopkins	)	must	prove	cinque	and	the	others	were	captured	into	slavery	,	rather	than	born	slaves	,	in	order	to	get	them	out	of	prison	as	free	men	.	three	lengthy	court	cases	are	portrayed	with	spielberg's	trademark	panache	flashy	beginning	,	lots	of	facial	close	ups	,	big	music	,	and	dramatic	imagery	.	a	final	speech	by	adams	is	followed	by	an	anticlimax	where	subtitles	show	what	eventually	happened	to	the	various	characters	.	opinion	:	making	a	fictional	movie	is	easier	than	making	one	about	real	life	.	in	fiction	,	one	invents	purposeful	,	clear	cut	good	guys	and	bad	guys	,	puts	the	fictional	characters	in	conflict	,	and	takes	the	tale	to	its	exciting	conclusion	.	real	life	,	however	,	consists	of	long	stretches	of	boredom	with	a	few	dramatic	moments	and	characters	who	stand	around	,	think	thoughts	and	do	nothing	,	or	come	and	go	before	events	are	resolved	.	spielberg	gives	us	a	visually	spicy	and	historically	accurate	real	life	story	.	djimon	hounsou	and	anthony	hopkins	turn	in	excellent	performances	.
pos	director	:	john	madden	cast	:	joseph	fiennes	,	gwyneth	paltrow	,	geoffrey	rush	,	ben	affleck	,	colin	firth	,	judi	dench	,	simon	callow	screenplay	:	marc	norman	,	tom	stoppard	producers	:	donna	gigliotti	,	marc	norman	,	david	parfitt	,	harvey	weinstein	,	edward	zwick	runtime	:	122	min	.	us	distribution	:	universal	rated	r	:	sex	,	nudity	,	brief	profanity	copyright	1998	nathaniel	r	.	atchesonplaywright	tom	stoppard	and	screenwriter	marc	norman	took	on	an	astonishingly	difficult	task	:	they	wanted	to	write	a	script	about	william	shakespeare	that	parallels	shakespeare's	works	.	they	also	wanted	to	poke	fun	at	the	way	all	of	us	envision	shakespeare	:	i	mean	,	really	,	who	doesn't	think	of	shakespeare	as	a	guy	seething	with	so	much	passion	that	he	can	barely	write	a	play	without	exploding	into	a	passionate	,	introspective	verbal	couplet	of	iambic	pentameter	?	stoppard	and	norman	are	men	who	love	shakespeare	,	and	they	wanted	to	make	a	movie	for	everyone	else	who	loves	shakespeare	.	and	,	despite	the	difficulty	of	their	task	,	they	have	succeeded	.	shakespeare	in	love	is	one	of	the	smartest	,	funniest	,	most	touching	films	of	the	year	.	it's	so	rare	that	a	picture	with	such	high	aspirations	succeeds	in	all	of	its	endeavors	,	but	here	we	have	a	movie	that	defines	success	:	it	is	at	once	charmingly	acted	and	flawlessly	written	.	it	could	have	been	a	smug	,	self	important	movie	that	panders	to	die	hard	shakespeare	fans	,	but	the	appeal	of	this	film	is	almost	universal	:	if	you've	ever	read	a	play	by	shakespeare	,	or	know	anything	about	his	life	,	it's	likely	that	you'll	find	grand	entertainment	in	shakespeare	in	love	.	joseph	fiennes	,	brother	of	ralph	,	stars	as	shakespeare	himself	;	he's	a	delightful	,	irresistible	lad	,	concerned	mostly	with	women	and	detached	from	life's	more	serious	problems	(	debt	,	plague	,	etc	.	)	.	he's	commissioned	to	write	plays	for	various	people	:	queen	elizabeth	(	judi	dench	)	wants	comedies	,	while	local	slimeball	philip	henslowe	(	geoffrey	rush	)	needs	him	to	write	a	play	so	that	he	can	pay	off	his	debts	to	hugh	fennymann	(	tom	wilkinson	)	.	shakespeare	,	however	,	has	trouble	focusing	on	his	work	.	he	begins	work	on	a	comedy	about	a	boy	named	romeo	and	a	girl	named	ethel	.	this	all	changes	,	however	,	when	he	meets	viola	de	lesseps	(	a	radiant	gwyneth	paltrow	)	,	a	young	heiress	set	to	marry	the	financially	oriented	lord	wessex	(	colin	firth	)	.	shakespeare	instantly	falls	in	love	with	her	;	he	first	meets	her	when	she	pretends	to	be	a	man	to	try	out	for	the	part	of	romeo	.	he	discovers	her	identity	and	confronts	her	later	;	she	,	of	course	,	falls	in	love	with	him	,	although	their	love	is	doomed	because	she	absolutely	must	marry	the	tyrannical	lord	wessex	.	but	she	continues	to	act	because	she	loves	shakespeare's	writing	so	much	,	and	soon	the	production	(	which	later	becomes	romeo	and	juliet	)	is	set	to	be	performed	.	shakespeare	in	love	is	an	amazingly	good	film	,	not	because	it	works	as	great	entertainment	,	but	because	it	pays	attention	to	detail	and	knows	its	subject	matter	.	i	was	instantly	won	over	by	joseph	fiennes	in	the	lead	role	:	he	has	such	searing	optimism	and	energy	;	he's	clearly	a	man	who	admires	shakespeare	,	and	even	in	the	shortcomings	that	he	gives	his	character	(	inability	to	turn	away	from	women	,	attention	deficit	disorder	)	,	we	sense	a	great	deal	of	affection	and	care	.	he	practically	overflows	with	passion	in	every	scene	.	fiennes	is	matched	by	paltrow	(	whose	english	accent	is	so	good	that	wonder	where	she	actually	comes	from	)	;	she	is	an	actress	who	exudes	strength	and	conviction	in	every	performance	i've	seen	her	in	.	the	two	performers	work	perfectly	together	,	taking	the	passionate	scenes	as	far	as	possible	without	making	them	melodramatic	,	and	wringing	the	comedic	scenes	for	every	conceivable	laugh	.	of	course	,	it	doesn't	hurt	that	they	have	a	masterful	script	to	work	with	.	stoppard	,	whose	play	rozencrantz	and	guildenstern	are	dead	inspired	an	interesting	film	,	is	full	of	dry	wit	and	boundless	understated	humor	(	all	of	his	plays	have	similarly	dry	humor	)	.	the	first	intelligent	step	stoppard	and	norman	took	was	harmonizing	the	events	of	the	film	with	romeo	and	juliet	.	one	of	the	funniest	scenes	in	the	film	is	an	imitation	of	the	famous	terrace	scene	from	the	play	;	in	the	movie	,	shakespeare	is	bumbling	about	while	viola	is	trying	to	fend	off	her	nurse	maid	.	director	john	madden	does	a	fantastic	job	dabbling	in	slapstick	humor	scenes	like	these	would	have	seemed	obtuse	in	the	hands	of	a	lesser	director	.	i'm	going	to	have	to	see	the	movie	again	;	i'm	certain	there	are	numerous	references	that	i	missed	.	in	fact	,	i	doubt	it's	possible	to	gather	everything	with	just	one	viewing	.	stoppard	is	a	master	of	detail	:	you'll	notice	familiar	lines	placed	throughout	the	film	,	not	as	lines	of	a	play	,	but	as	dialogue	,	suggesting	that	shakespeare	simply	spoke	like	that	all	the	time	.	there's	also	a	brilliant	running	joke	in	which	shakespeare	is	in	constant	competition	with	christopher	marlowe	(	and	the	fact	that	marlowe	is	played	by	the	openly	homosexual	rupert	everett	is	a	joke	in	of	itself	)	,	proposing	a	slightly	twisted	explanation	to	marlowe's	mysterious	death	in	a	pub	.	there's	also	a	scene	featuring	a	wide	eyed	dog	that	is	so	funny	that	i	hurt	myself	laughing	.	"	there's	no	dog	in	this	play	?	"	"	no	!	no	dog	!	"	the	ensemble	cast	is	perhaps	the	strongest	this	year	.	geoffrey	rush	is	nearly	unrecognizable	as	the	detestable	henslowe	;	wilkinson	is	also	hard	to	recognize	,	but	has	a	great	role	as	a	thug	who	takes	his	part	as	the	apothecary	so	seriously	.	ben	affleck	,	playing	one	of	the	actors	in	the	company	,	shows	great	range	,	both	in	his	accent	(	his	is	almost	as	good	as	paltrow's	)	and	in	humor	(	he	has	some	of	the	best	one	liners	in	the	movie	)	.	colin	firth	,	always	stuck	playing	the	sap	,	does	a	good	job	being	hateful	.	judi	dench	,	however	,	has	the	best	supporting	performance	as	queen	elizabeth	:	rarely	has	so	much	depth	been	conveyed	in	so	few	words	.	my	single	,	minor	complaint	about	shakespeare	in	love	is	that	i	feel	like	i	could	have	been	more	moved	by	the	end	.	the	story	is	moving	,	but	there	are	a	few	missed	opportunities	in	the	final	scenes	.	but	my	quibbling	is	not	important	.	what	is	important	is	that	i	acknowledge	the	quality	of	this	picture	,	the	sheer	skill	with	which	it	has	been	written	,	acted	,	and	produced	.	shakespeare	in	love	tries	so	many	things	,	and	nails	every	one	of	them	:	it's	a	film	that	both	loves	shakespeare	and	makes	fun	of	him	,	a	film	in	which	the	actors	,	writers	,	and	director	are	all	perfectly	in	sync	.	it's	also	a	movie	that	has	the	potential	to	introduce	a	lot	of	people	to	shakespeare's	work	in	a	positive	way	,	without	seeming	condescending	or	superior	.	i	admire	this	film	not	only	because	it	passes	so	pleasantly	,	but	because	it	has	lofty	aspirations	and	succeeds	in	them	.	not	just	any	film	can	poke	fun	at	shakespeare	and	get	away	with	it	.
pos	(	out	of	4	)	sometimes	i	find	19th	century	british	costume	dramas	a	little	hard	to	relate	to	.	it's	not	the	time	or	the	distance	,	it's	the	rules	and	conventions	of	a	social	class	that	deserves	resentment	rather	than	sympathy	.	yet	somehow	,	the	movies	are	all	well	made	and	i	always	get	caught	up	in	the	story	.	the	wings	of	the	dove	fits	the	pattern	.	kate	(	helena	bonham	carter	)	and	merton	(	linus	roache	)	are	in	love	.	merton	,	a	newspaper	writer	,	would	like	to	marry	kate	.	but	kate's	"	job	"	,	if	you	will	,	is	to	be	a	member	of	the	british	upper	class	.	her	father	lost	all	of	her	family's	money	,	but	a	wealthy	aunt	agreed	to	take	care	of	her	until	she	married	a	nice	rich	man	.	naturally	,	a	newspaper	writer's	wages	don't	count	as	"	rich	.	"	kate	leads	him	on	,	but	she	always	ends	up	giving	him	the	cold	shoulder	,	ultimately	because	he's	not	marriageable	.	kate's	american	friend	millie	(	alison	elliot	)	stops	in	for	a	visit	on	her	way	to	venice	.	at	a	party	,	millie	catches	a	glimpse	of	merton	and	likes	what	she	sees	.	kate	realizes	that	if	merton	were	introduced	to	millie	,	he	might	forget	about	her	.	it	appears	that	she	is	trying	to	spare	him	from	the	heartbreak	of	their	inevitable	breakup	.	merton	sees	what	kate	is	doing	and	resents	her	for	it	.	he	is	still	in	love	with	kate	,	and	will	accept	no	substitute	.	the	three	of	them	,	along	with	a	fourth	friend	(	elizabeth	mcgovern	)	end	up	on	holiday	in	venice	together	,	where	their	interactions	are	quite	complicated	.	let's	sum	up	:	millie	has	fallen	for	merton	.	merton	has	no	feelings	for	millie	because	he	is	still	in	love	with	kate	.	kate	loves	him	but	can't	marry	him	,	so	on	the	one	hand	she's	trying	to	match	him	up	with	someone	who	will	make	him	happy	,	but	on	the	other	hand	she's	jealous	of	them	as	a	couple	.	a	clear	solution	presents	itself	to	kate	when	she	realizes	that	millie	is	very	sick	dying	,	in	fact	.	at	this	point	she	decides	that	merton	should	marry	millie	until	she	dies	.	millie	will	leave	her	money	to	merton	,	who	will	then	be	rich	enough	to	marry	kate	.	she	lets	merton	know	of	her	schemes	and	,	since	it	will	help	him	win	kate	,	he	reluctantly	agrees	.	kate	leaves	venice	so	that	the	two	m's	can	be	alone	together	.	merton	finds	that	pretending	to	love	millie	is	a	lot	like	actually	loving	her	.	he's	not	sure	he	can	separate	the	two	.	kate	finds	that	she's	not	so	sure	she	really	wants	her	merton	falling	in	love	with	and	marrying	anyone	else	.	the	brilliant	scheme	proves	to	be	painful	to	all	involved	.	without	revealing	the	details	,	suffice	it	to	say	that	the	situation	ends	badly	.	the	title	refers	to	the	object	of	merton's	vain	hope	that	something	might	lift	him	from	his	predicament	.	one	is	left	with	feelings	of	regret	and	despair	.	what	started	as	such	a	promising	relationship	was	damaged	by	greed	,	anger	,	and	jealousy	.	an	interesting	thought	struck	me	after	the	movie	was	over	,	and	that	is	that	the	wings	of	the	dove	almost	fits	the	story	line	of	a	film	noir	.	a	couple	conspires	to	cheat	someone	out	of	their	money	so	they	can	live	happily	ever	after	.	their	involvement	in	the	deception	makes	each	less	attractive	to	the	other	,	and	after	a	few	things	go	wrong	,	the	whole	idea	seems	like	an	awful	life	ruining	mistake	.	i	wouldn't	call	the	wings	of	the	dove	a	film	noir	,	but	the	comparison	is	interesting	.	as	i	have	acknowledged	before	,	i	am	not	a	wonderful	judge	of	acting	,	but	i	liked	the	performances	from	roache	and	elliot	.	roache	successfully	conveyed	his	character's	ambivalence	toward	millie	:	near	the	end	,	he	hugs	her	,	at	first	staring	into	space	,	as	if	he's	thinking	about	his	plan	with	kate	,	then	giving	that	up	to	fully	embrace	millie	.	millie's	part	didn't	require	as	much	range	,	but	elliot	gave	her	the	necessary	bubbly	personality	that	made	her	irresistible	.	i	will	probably	file	away	the	wings	of	the	dove	in	the	same	low	traffic	corner	of	my	mind	as	sense	and	sensibility	and	persuasion	.	their	settings	are	far	removed	from	my	personal	experience	geographically	,	historically	,	and	socially	.	still	,	the	movies	are	well	made	and	the	stories	inevitably	win	me	over	.	check	out	more	current	movie	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	"	http	:	www	.	indra	.	com	mmapes	a
pos	cast	:	russell	crowe	,	joaquin	phoenix	,	connie	nielsen	,	oliver	reed	,	derek	jacobi	,	djimon	hounsou	,	richard	harris	,	spencer	treat	clark	written	by	:	david	h	.	franzoni	,	john	logan	and	william	nicholson	directed	by	:	ridley	scott	running	time	:	157	minutes	roman	emperor	marcus	aurelius	(	richard	harris	)	chooses	his	trusted	general	maximus	(	russell	crowe	)	as	his	successor	.	however	the	emperor's	evil	son	commodus	(	joaquin	phoenix	)	murders	his	father	before	the	announcement	can	be	made	,	and	maximus	(	as	well	as	his	family	)	is	sentenced	to	be	executed	.	maximus	is	able	to	escape	his	executioners	,	but	is	later	captured	and	sold	as	a	slave	to	proximo	(	oliver	reed	)	.	proximo	is	looking	for	gladiators	to	earn	himself	money	(	he	being	a	former	gladiator	himself	)	,	and	maximus	reluctantly	uses	his	skills	to	prove	himself	a	powerful	gladiator	.	when	emperor	commodus	announces	that	new	games	will	be	held	in	the	colisseum	,	proximo	takes	his	gladiators	there	to	do	battle	.	maximus	sees	this	as	his	chance	to	exact	revenge	on	commodus	.	gladiator	begins	with	a	great	battle	sequence	between	the	roman	army	and	germania	,	and	actually	is	able	to	maintain	interest	during	the	now	required	"	40	minutes	of	exposition	after	a	kick	ass	opening	sequence	"	style	of	moviemaking	.	the	only	downfall	of	the	opening	sequence	is	the	editing	style	used	.	.	.	it's	choppy	slow	motion	which	is	unsettling	and	distracting	.	it's	similar	to	the	opening	sequence	in	saving	private	ryan	,	but	nowhere	near	as	effective	.	the	actual	gladiator	battles	are	thrilling	,	but	also	a	bit	disjointed	.	many	times	it's	unclear	as	to	exactly	what's	going	on	.	.	.	all	the	audience	can	tell	is	that	blood	is	being	spilled	.	we're	not	sure	who's	blood	or	by	who's	hand	though	.	there's	an	instance	of	this	earlier	in	the	film	too	that's	disappointing	.	it's	comes	when	maximus	escapes	his	executioners	.	some	flashes	and	a	few	quick	cuts	later	and	maximus	is	free	.	.	.	but	i	still	don't	know	exactly	how	he	did	it	.	russell	crowe	should	have	become	a	major	star	after	his	gleefully	over	the	top	role	as	a	computer	generated	serial	killer	in	1995's	virtuosity	.	for	whatever	reason	his	stardom	never	arrived	.	.	.	but	he	should	have	it	now	.	from	here	on	moviegoers	should	now	be	able	to	say	,	"	let's	go	see	the	new	russell	crowe	movie	"	.	he	gets	the	best	scene	in	the	film	(	and	one	of	the	best	moments	of	all	recent	movies	)	when	he	reveals	his	identity	to	commodus	in	the	colisseum	.	it's	both	rousing	and	chilling	.	joaquin	phoenix	does	a	very	effective	job	of	making	commodus	a	person	and	not	just	a	cartoon	character	(	which	could	have	easily	happened	)	.	commodus	is	conniving	,	sneaky	and	whiny	,	but	phoenix	never	lets	the	character	get	silly	.	it's	a	very	good	(	and	very	creepy	)	performance	.	oliver	reed	died	during	the	filming	of	gladiator	,	and	it's	a	huge	loss	to	the	acting	world	.	i've	always	been	fascinated	with	reed	.	.	.	he's	one	of	those	very	talented	performers	who	once	had	a	fine	career	but	ended	up	in	direct	to	video	junk	during	his	twilight	years	.	it's	ironic	that	this	film	probably	would	have	gotten	him	back	into	real	movies	again	,	as	he	gives	a	fun	and	sincere	performance	.	the	film	is	dedicated	to	him	,	and	he	will	surely	be	missed	.	reed's	death	presented	the	filmmakers	with	an	obvious	problem	,	as	he	still	had	scenes	to	be	completed	.	rather	than	recast	the	role	(	and	end	up	reshooting	a	great	deal	of	footage	)	,	a	digital	version	of	oliver	reed	was	created	at	a	reported	cost	of	2	million	dollars	.	ironically	,	that	was	probably	more	money	than	reed	ever	earned	for	a	single	film	.	anyway	,	this	digital	effect	is	only	used	in	one	scene	that	i	am	aware	of	(	for	about	twenty	seconds	)	and	if	you	aren't	looking	for	it	you	won't	even	be	able	to	tell	.	some	of	the	other	digital	effects	are	less	convincing	however	.	.	.	and	like	i	always	say	,	noticable	digital	effects	take	me	out	of	a	movie	immediately	.	it's	sad	that	such	a	good	film	has	these	distractions	.	movies	like	the	fall	of	the	roman	empire	and	spartacus	seemed	to	do	okay	without	the	use	of	computer	effects	.	keep	in	mind	that	gladiator	is	based	on	real	people	and	real	events	,	but	is	entirely	a	work	of	fiction	.	however	it's	a	work	of	fiction	that's	great	entertainment	,	and	another	film	to	add	to	the	list	of	damn	fine	flicks	released	in	2000	a	.	d	.	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	guantanamera	(	cuba	,	1994	)	1	2	directed	by	tomas	gutierrez	alea	and	juan	carlos	tabio	.	written	by	eliseo	alberto	diego	,	alea	and	tabio	.	photography	,	hans	burmann	.	art	direction	,	onelia	larralde	.	music	,	jose	nieto	.	editing	,	carmen	frias	.	cast	:	carlos	cruz	(	adolfo	)	,	mirtha	ibarra	(	georgina	,	aka	gina	)	,	raul	eguren	(	candido	)	,	jorge	perugorria	(	mariano	)	,	pedro	gernandez	(	ramon	)	,	luis	alberto	garcia	novoa	(	tony	)	,	cochita	brando	(	aunt	yoyita	)	,	suset	perez	malberti	(	oku	)	,	et	al	.	a	cinepix	release	.	subtitled	.	104	minutes	.	not	rated	.	road	movie	,	farce	,	satire	,	picaresque	picture	,	black	comedy	,	bedroom	farce	.	.	.	.	take	your	pick	as	they	all	apply	to	"	guantanamera	,	"	the	last	film	by	the	"	maestro	"	of	cuban	cinema	,	tomas	gutierrez	alea	(	1928	1996	)	,	called	titon	(	tee	ton	)	by	all	his	friends	.	he	was	already	ill	with	lung	cancer	when	he	made	it	.	as	for	his	penultimate	feature	"	strawberry	and	chocolate	"	(	1993	)	he	sought	the	collaboration	of	filmmaker	juan	carlos	tabio	,	15	years	his	junior	,	who	also	gets	directorial	credit	in	both	features	.	"	guantanamera	"	means	the	woman	from	guantanamo	(	the	town	,	not	the	u	.	s	.	base	)	.	it	is	probably	the	best	known	cuban	song	.	in	cuba	,	various	singers	put	their	own	lyrics	on	the	melody	.	here	it	is	heard	several	times	,	with	different	comments	,	descriptions	or	suggestions	.	the	film's	structure	is	that	of	the	familiar	road	movie	in	which	people	try	to	get	from	point	a	to	point	b	as	events	,	happenings	or	adventures	accumulate	.	in	her	teens	,	yoyita	left	guantanamo	,	became	a	famous	singer	,	returned	after	50	years	to	see	her	niece	georgina	(	aka	gina	)	,	also	met	candido	,	the	great	love	of	her	youth	who	had	never	stopped	thinking	of	her	.	the	charming	senior	citizens	have	a	wonderfully	romantic	reunion	.	they	reminiscences	of	the	same	event	but	with	different	images	,	are	just	like	those	of	former	lovers	maurice	chevalier	and	hermione	gingold	singing	"	i	remember	it	well	"	in	the	musical	"	gigi	.	"	then	big	time	artist	yoyita	dies	suddenly	in	the	arms	of	provincial	brass	player	candido	.	the	main	female	role	belongs	to	gina	.	she	is	played	by	the	enchanting	stage	and	screen	actress	mirtha	ibarra	,	whose	film	debut	was	in	"	the	last	supper	"	by	alea	.	mirtha	and	titon	married	(	he	for	the	second	time	)	,	had	three	daughters	and	were	still	together	22	years	later	,	when	titon	died	.	gina	,	formerly	an	economics	professor	,	is	now	married	to	adolfo	,	an	official	fallen	from	grace	(	for	undisclosed	reasons	)	.	sidelined	by	the	administration	as	the	head	of	a	minor	committee	on	burials	,	he	is	now	trying	to	regain	recognition	.	adolfo	conceives	a	pea	brained	scheme	for	savin	fuel	in	gasoline	strapped	cuba	:	those	who	die	far	from	their	desired	burial	places	will	be	transported	by	a	system	of	relays	between	cemeteries	.	fate	would	have	it	that	the	first	candidate	for	this	long	distance	experiment	is	auntie	yoyita	,	who	must	be	taken	to	havana	,	almost	at	the	other	end	of	the	island	.	the	trip	,	fraught	with	obstacles	and	coincidences	,	takes	through	the	landscape	and	,	more	importantly	,	the	humanscape	.	we	see	a	cuba	whose	inhabitants	do	not	lose	their	sense	of	humor	but	have	to	invent	ways	to	survive	financially	.	truck	driver	mariano	who	has	an	engineering	degree	but	must	make	a	living	,	and	his	more	mature	buddy	ramon	,	who	though	sensible	still	believes	in	witchcraft	,	take	illegal	passengers	.	sellers	along	the	roads	offer	goods	,	mostly	edibles	,	for	dollars	,	not	cuban	money	.	adolfo	has	none	,	but	his	chauffeur	,	himself	a	black	marketeer	(	or	entrepreneur	)	does	,	buys	bananas	and	shares	them	with	his	boss	.	a	sly	reminder	by	a	tour	guide	mentions	that	a	certain	town	,	over	several	centuries	was	the	center	of	smuggling	and	had	dealings	with	forbidden	countries	.	it	doesn't	take	a	doctorate	in	history	to	see	the	reference	to	contemporary	cuba	.	the	paths	of	mariano's	truck	and	adolfo's	troublesome	car	(	no	doubt	soviet	built	)	with	adolfo	,	gina	and	candido	as	passengers	,	keep	crossing	.	both	background	and	foreground	keep	pointing	to	the	shortages	(	of	everything	)	in	cuba	,	where	one	table	"	secret	"	restaurants	spring	up	;	where	a	fan	belt	is	a	small	treasure	;	where	coupons	are	needed	for	many	things	,	even	in	a	cemetery's	cantina	;	where	the	car's	riders	munch	bananas	from	the	subterranean	economy	as	the	radio	spouts	positive	agricultural	statistics	among	many	disturbances	,	there's	another	romance	brewing	.	i	will	not	let	the	cat	out	of	the	bag	except	to	say	that	mariano	is	at	the	love	story's	epicenter	,	and	that	he	complicates	things	.	mariano	is	a	don	juan	with	the	equivalent	of	a	girl	in	every	port	.	here	it's	a	lover	in	every	town	,	gas	station	,	truck	stop	or	train	crossing	.	(	a	sex	hungry	young	woman	brings	to	mind	the	czech	satire	"	closely	watched	trains	.	"	)	the	relationships	are	funny	even	when	the	premises	are	not	.	gags	are	brought	in	naturally	.	windshield	wipers	activate	when	the	car	is	bumped	;	a	woman	tells	of	man	who	died	unexpectedly	,	then	reveals	that	he	was	107	years	old	.	but	"	guantanamera	"	is	not	simply	an	entertainment	.	it	is	a	movie	about	life	,	love	and	death	during	the	hard	times	of	an	impoverished	nation	.	alea	,	started	his	career	as	a	dedicated	celebrant	of	the	cuban	revolution	.	later	,	when	he	made	the	first	big	pictures	that	brought	him	international	fame	(	"	death	of	a	bureaucrat	"	1966	;	"	memories	of	underdevelopment	"	1968	)	,	many	began	to	see	him	as	a	critic	of	the	fidel	castro	regime	,	even	though	alea	and	castro	had	been	schoolmates	and	were	friends	.	but	it	was	a	misinterpretation	of	alea's	complexity	,	and	a	matter	of	semantics	.	as	alea	repeatedely	phrased	it	(	with	varations	)	,	"	to	be	critical	is	to	make	a	militant	film	for	the	revolution	"	.	or	,	"	for	the	revolution	to	grow	,	for	our	country	to	develop	positively	,	criticism	is	necessary	.	"	"	guantanamera	"	has	no	villains	.	it	looks	upon	all	its	characters	with	sympathy	,	understanding	or	at	a	minimum	,	tolerance	.	the	main	butt	of	its	criticism	is	adolfo	,	that	misguided	,	counterproductive	,	symbolic	,	ambitious	,	egotistic	and	silly	bureaucrat	.	in	its	own	,	rather	kinky	way	,	"	guantanamera	"	is	like	part	two	of	"	death	of	a	bureaucrat	"	of	some	thirty	years	earlier	.	like	that	film	,	like	much	of	the	rest	of	alea's	output	(	about	a	dozen	out	of	a	total	of	ca	.	22	pictures	)	,	there's	always	a	tricky	patriotic	balancing	act	of	theory	against	practice	,	of	marxist	dialectics	that	uphold	principles	while	they	castigate	misapplications	.	the	process	,	neither	obvious	nor	simple	minded	,	sometimes	caused	confusion	in	the	public	as	well	as	the	critics	.	it	seems	to	me	that	alea	is	sending	his	viewers	,	especially	the	cubans	,	a	message	about	the	necessity	to	clean	house	.	this	is	colorfully	,	deviously	,	subtly	recounted	as	the	legend	of	olofin	,	the	god	who	created	life	but	forgot	to	create	death	.	there	follow	millenia	of	ever	aging	populations	which	engulf	the	young	until	the	other	deity	,	iku	,	brings	about	rain	and	floods	,	so	that	all	the	aged	drown	and	only	physically	fit	younger	people	survive	.	thus	did	iku	terminate	progress	impeding	immortality	.	all	this	is	far	more	poetic	than	the	american	"	time	for	a	change	,	"	or	"	we	need	new	blood	.	"	among	the	subtleties	of	this	seemingly	simple	movie	,	is	the	fact	that	we	see	very	few	slogans	:	only	one	banner	says	"	socialism	or	death	.	"	and	the	fact	that	this	seriocomic	,	appealing	"	realistic	fantasy	"	neither	mentions	nor	hints	at	the	big	bad	wolf	.	one	can	almost	hear	alea	saying	:	"	yes	,	the	yankees	are	partly	to	blame	for	our	troubles	,	but	we	should	not	use	this	as	an	excuse	or	an	alibi	for	our	own	shortcomings	.	"	"	guantanamera	"	was	nominated	for	the	golden	lion	at	the	1996	venice	film	festival	and	honored	at	several	others	.
pos	martin	scorsese's	kundun	,	which	chronicles	roughly	the	first	twenty	years	of	the	life	of	the	currently	exiled	dalai	lama	,	has	been	criticized	for	its	lack	of	narrative	structure	.	personally	,	i	don't	think	it	needs	one	:	it	works	perfectly	well	as	a	study	of	tibetan	buddhist	culture	and	how	communist	china	.	scorsese	views	the	dalai	lama	the	way	many	tibetans	probably	do	,	as	a	larger	than	life	symbol	of	buddhist	spirituality	and	political	leadership	:	the	only	glimpses	into	his	head	come	from	several	interesting	yet	oblique	dream	sequences	,	but	his	portrayal	is	appropriate	for	a	film	that	concentrates	on	the	political	and	spiritual	rather	than	the	personal	.	the	set	design	and	cinematography	are	outstanding	,	and	while	scorsese	occasionally	seems	to	get	carried	away	with	the	spectacle	,	it	helps	to	augment	the	cultural	contrast	when	the	dalai	lama	travels	to	china	to	meet	chairman	mao	.	political	art	sometimes	succumbs	to	the	temptation	to	start	shouting	slogans	,	kundun	does	not	:	it	succeeds	in	delivering	its	message	in	an	artistically	interesting	way	and	without	being	overly	manipulative	.	send	comments	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ktpattersn	aol	.	com	.	"	ktpattersn	aol	.	com	.	a	film	reviews	page	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ktpattersn	reviews	.	html	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ktpattersn	reviews	.	html	a
pos	release	date	:	november	20	,	1998	starring	:	will	smith	,	gene	hackman	,	jon	voight	,	regina	king	,	loren	dean	,	jake	busey	,	barry	pepper	,	gabriel	byrne	,	jason	lee	directed	by	:	tony	scott	distributed	by	:	buena	vista	pictures	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	language	,	violence	)	lean	,	mean	,	escapist	thrillers	are	a	tough	product	to	come	by	.	most	are	unnecessarily	complicated	,	and	others	have	no	sense	of	expediency	the	thrill	ride	effect	gets	lost	in	the	cumbersome	plot	.	perhaps	the	ultimate	escapist	thriller	was	the	fugitive	,	which	featured	none	of	the	flash	bang	effects	of	today's	market	but	rather	a	bread	and	butter	,	textbook	example	of	what	a	clever	script	and	good	direction	is	all	about	.	the	latest	tony	scott	movie	,	enemy	of	the	state	,	doesn't	make	it	to	that	level	.	it's	a	true	nineties	product	that	runs	like	greased	lightning	through	a	maze	of	cell	phones	and	laptop	computers	,	without	looking	back	.	although	director	scott	has	made	missteps	in	the	past	,	such	as	the	lame	thriller	the	fan	,	he's	generated	a	good	deal	of	energy	in	pictures	like	crimson	tide	and	top	gun	.	that	vibrant	spirit	is	present	here	,	shown	in	well	timed	and	carefully	planned	chase	scenes	that	give	the	movie	an	aura	of	sheer	speed	.	enemy	of	the	state	also	features	an	unprecedented	use	of	amazing	cinematography	director	of	photography	daniel	mindel	throws	a	staggering	amount	of	different	views	,	angles	,	lenses	,	and	film	stocks	at	the	audience	that	goes	a	long	way	toward	involving	the	audience	in	the	movie	.	enemy	is	truly	a	visual	experience	,	and	that's	only	one	of	the	reasons	it's	such	a	fun	watch	.	the	movie	lights	up	with	an	aging	senator	visited	by	nsa	deputy	chief	thomas	reynolds	(	jon	voight	)	.	reynolds	wants	a	new	communications	act	passed	to	allow	the	government	free	reign	in	the	use	of	surveilance	equipment	,	but	the	senator	plans	to	bury	the	bill	in	committee	.	reynolds	has	the	senator	offed	,	but	not	before	the	murder	is	caught	on	a	naturalist's	camera	.	by	an	extremist	chain	of	events	,	the	tape	ends	up	in	labor	lawyer	robert	dean	(	will	smith	)	's	posession	,	and	it's	not	long	before	he's	running	from	reynolds'	cronies	.	it's	only	with	the	help	of	an	ex	spook	named	brill	(	gene	hackman	)	that	dean	is	able	to	get	to	the	bottom	of	things	.	the	acting	is	top	notch	,	and	the	three	principles	smith	,	hackman	,	and	voight	are	generally	more	mature	and	excellent	all	around	.	smith	puts	aside	the	wisecracking	act	and	becomes	a	normal	human	being	;	voight	tones	down	the	amount	of	sneer	he	puts	into	his	character	for	greater	ominpotence	;	and	hackman	is	simply	over	the	top	in	the	mysterioso	role	.	smith's	regular	joe	comes	off	particularly	well	,	as	he	runs	from	authorties	for	reasons	that	he	knows	not	.	the	supports	are	also	in	fine	form	,	lending	credibility	to	the	main	roles	and	advancing	the	plot	in	key	areas	.	this	is	,	for	the	holiday	crowd	,	the	hot	ticket	;	as	well	as	anyone	looking	for	a	serving	of	genuine	action	in	a	market	that	is	otherwise	lacking	.
pos	starring	the	voices	of	:	val	kilmer	and	ralph	fiennes	directed	by	brenda	chapman	,	steve	hickner	and	simon	wells	.	running	time	:	1	hour	37	minutes	after	the	average	mouse	hunt	,	the	silly	small	soldiers	and	the	entertaining	antz	,	dreamworks	try	again	with	the	children's	film	market	with	this	stunning	adaptation	of	the	moses	story	.	as	the	film	warns	us	at	the	beginning	,	it's	not	the	full	story	,	and	some	liberties	have	been	taken	,	but	generally	this	the	bible	story	we	all	know	and	love	,	featuring	burning	bushes	,	the	plagues	and	the	parting	of	the	red	sea	.	the	only	thing	missing	is	charlton	heston	.	instead	,	we	get	val	kilmer	voicing	moses	,	an	hebrew	who	is	placed	in	a	river	by	his	mother	and	rescued	by	the	queen	of	egypt	(	helen	mirren	.	)	we	flash	forward	several	years	to	see	moses	and	brother	rameses	(	fiennes	)	all	grown	up	.	moses	soon	finds	out	from	brother	and	sister	miriam	and	aaron	(	sandra	bullock	and	jeff	goldblum	)	that	he	isn't	really	the	son	of	the	pharaoh	seti	(	patrick	stewart	)	and	that	it	his	destiny	to	free	the	hebrews	from	the	egyptians	tyrannical	rule	.	he	soon	sets	about	this	,	along	with	his	wife	tzipporah	(	michelle	pfeiffer	.	)	rameses	and	his	two	wizard	friends	(	voiced	by	steve	martin	and	martin	short	)	try	to	stop	moses	completing	his	task	.	while	the	plot	is	familiar	and	somewhat	exciting	for	adults	,	for	children	reared	on	aladdin	and	hercules	,	this	film	could	be	the	most	godawful	thing	they've	ever	seen	.	gone	is	the	quick	fire	humour	and	standard	,	easy	to	follow	plot	.	but	,	spectacularly	,	and	to	dreamworks	credit	,	nearly	every	child	in	the	audience	was	captivated	by	the	story	and	events	happening	on	screen	.	jeffrey	katzenberg	,	who	produced	this	film	,	certainly	knows	how	to	keep	a	child	interested	.	he's	included	some	songs	in	the	film	,	plus	some	comedy	,	and	a	exciting	chariot	chase	,	to	keep	the	children	interested	.	and	somehow	,	himself	and	the	directors	still	manage	to	get	all	the	drama	and	intensity	of	the	story	across	,	without	ever	being	boring	.	it's	a	remarkable	achievement	.	also	remarkable	is	the	animation	,	which	puts	hercules	,	an	almost	'slap	dash'	effort	,	to	shame	.	relying	on	hand	drawn	and	computer	animation	,	the	backgrounds	and	characters	are	amazingly	detailed	.	the	film	seems	a	little	caught	up	with	it's	amazing	visuals	by	showing	a	lot	of	sweeping	visuals	and	'moving'	shots	,	but	they	_	do	_	look	incredible	.	the	final	'plague'	where	god	kills	every	first	born	child	,	and	the	parting	of	the	red	sea	have	to	be	seen	to	be	believed	.	kudos	to	the	animators	.	the	vocal	talent	is	also	very	good	.	val	kilmer	does	a	fine	job	as	moses	(	although	he	doesn't	sing	)	and	ralph	fiennes	is	superb	as	rameses	(	and	he	_	does	_	sing	.	)	sandra	bullock	and	jeff	goldblum	are	great	,	and	steve	martin	and	martin	short	are	very	good	,	but	not	in	the	film	long	enough	.	finally	,	michelle	pfeiffer	does	excellent	work	as	moses	wife	.	kudos	also	goes	to	the	voice	of	god	,	who	instead	of	booming	and	bombastic	is	quiet	and	subdued	.	sadly	,	he	is	uncredited	,	and	i	couldn't	quite	work	out	who	the	voice	was	.	(	but	e	mail	if	you	do	.	)	the	songs	are	good	,	ranging	from	the	usual	love	sonnets	to	the	traditional	big	production	number	.	they	don't	disturb	the	movie	,	and	while	not	particularly	memorable	,	they	are	nice	to	listen	to	(	they're	well	sung	aswell	.	)	the	musical	score	is	suitably	epic	,	with	some	beautiful	tunes	.	coupled	with	the	superb	visuals	,	the	prince	of	egypt	is	a	visual	and	aural	treat	,	backed	up	with	a	great	story	.	entertaining	both	for	kids	and	adults	,	this	film	is	a	must	see	.
pos	united	states	,	1997	u	.	s	.	release	date	:	12	12	97	(	limited	)	;	12	25	97	(	wide	)	running	length	:	2	:	37	mpaa	classification	:	r	(	violence	,	mature	themes	,	nudity	)	theatrical	aspect	ratio	:	1	.	85	:	1	cast	:	djimon	hounsou	,	matthew	mcconaughey	,	morgan	freeman	,	anthony	hopkins	,	nigel	hawthorne	,	stellan	skarsgard	,	david	paymer	,	pete	postlethwaite	,	anna	paquin	director	:	steven	spielberg	producers	:	steven	spielberg	,	debbie	allen	,	and	colin	wilson	screenplay	:	david	franzoni	cinematography	:	janusz	kaminski	music	:	john	williams	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	dreamworks	skg	here's	a	word	analogy	:	amistad	is	to	the	lost	world	as	schindler's	list	is	to	jurassic	park	.	in	1993	,	after	steven	spielberg	made	the	monster	dino	hit	,	many	critics	described	schindler's	list	as	the	director's	"	penance	"	(	as	if	there	was	a	need	for	him	to	apologize	for	making	a	crowd	pleasing	blockbuster	)	.	now	,	after	a	three	year	layoff	,	spielberg	is	back	with	a	vengeance	.	once	again	,	his	summer	release	was	special	effects	loaded	action	adventure	flick	with	dinosaurs	munching	on	human	appetizers	.	now	,	following	his	1993	pattern	,	he	has	fashioned	another	serious	,	inspirational	christmas	release	about	the	nature	of	humanity	.	that	film	is	amistad	.	although	not	as	masterful	as	schindler's	list	,	amistad	is	nevertheless	a	gripping	motion	picture	.	thematically	rich	,	impeccably	crafted	,	and	intellectually	stimulating	,	the	only	area	where	this	movie	falls	a	little	short	is	in	its	emotional	impact	.	watching	schindler's	list	was	a	powerful	,	almost	spiritual	,	experience	.	spielberg	pulled	us	into	the	narrative	,	absorbed	us	in	the	drama	,	then	finally	let	us	go	,	exhausted	and	shattered	,	three	plus	hours	later	.	aspects	of	the	movie	have	stayed	with	me	ever	since	.	amistad	,	while	a	fine	example	of	film	making	,	is	not	as	transcendent	.	the	incident	of	the	ship	la	amistad	is	not	found	in	any	history	books	,	but	,	considering	who	writes	the	texts	,	that's	not	a	surprise	.	however	,	the	event	is	a	part	of	the	american	social	and	legal	fabric	,	and	,	while	amistad	does	not	adhere	rigorously	to	the	actual	account	,	most	of	the	basic	facts	are	in	order	.	several	,	mostly	minor	changes	have	been	made	to	enhance	the	film's	dramatic	force	.	on	the	whole	,	while	amistad	may	not	be	faithful	to	all	of	the	details	of	the	situation	,	it	is	true	to	the	spirit	and	meaning	of	what	transpired	.	one	stormy	night	during	the	summer	of	1839	,	the	53	men	imprisoned	on	the	spanish	slave	ship	la	amistad	escape	.	led	by	the	lion	hearted	cinque	(	djimon	hounsou	)	,	they	take	control	of	the	vessel	,	killing	most	of	the	crew	.	adrift	somewhere	off	the	coast	of	cuba	and	uncertain	how	to	make	their	way	back	to	africa	,	they	rely	on	the	two	surviving	spaniards	to	navigate	the	eastward	journey	.	they	are	tricked	,	however	,	and	the	la	amistad	,	which	makes	its	way	northward	off	the	united	states'	eastern	coastline	,	is	eventually	captured	by	an	american	naval	ship	near	connecticut	.	the	kidnapped	africans	are	shackled	and	thrown	into	prison	,	charged	with	murder	and	piracy	.	the	first	men	to	come	to	the	africans'	defense	are	abolitionists	theodore	joadson	(	morgan	freeman	)	and	lewis	tappan	(	stellan	skarsgard	)	.	they	are	soon	joined	by	roger	baldwin	(	matthew	mcconaughey	)	,	a	property	attorney	of	little	repute	.	aided	by	advice	from	former	president	john	quincy	adams	(	anthony	hopkins	)	,	baldwin	proves	a	more	persuasive	orator	than	anyone	gave	him	credit	for	,	and	his	central	argument	that	the	prisoners	were	illegally	kidnapped	free	men	,	not	property	convinces	the	judge	.	but	powerful	forces	have	aligned	against	baldwin's	cause	.	current	president	martin	van	buren	(	nigel	hawthorne	)	,	eager	to	please	southern	voters	and	11	year	old	queen	isabella	of	spain	(	anna	paquin	)	,	begins	pulling	strings	behind	the	scenes	to	ensure	that	none	of	the	africans	goes	free	.	at	its	heart	,	amistad	is	a	tale	of	human	courage	.	cinque	is	a	heroic	figure	whose	spirit	remains	unbreakable	regardless	of	the	pain	and	indignity	he	is	subjected	to	.	he	is	a	free	man	,	not	a	slave	,	and	,	while	he	recognizes	that	he	may	die	as	a	result	of	his	struggle	,	he	will	not	give	it	up	.	effectively	portrayed	by	newcomer	djimon	hounsou	,	whose	passion	and	screen	presence	arrest	our	attention	,	cinque	is	the	key	to	viewers	seeing	the	amistad	africans	as	more	than	symbols	in	a	battle	of	ideologies	.	they	are	individuals	,	and	our	ability	to	make	that	distinction	is	crucial	to	the	movie's	success	.	to	amplify	this	point	,	spielberg	presents	many	scenes	from	the	africans'	point	of	view	,	detailing	their	occasionally	humorous	observations	about	some	of	the	white	man's	seemingly	strange	"	rituals	"	.	the	larger	struggle	is	,	of	course	,	one	of	defining	humanity	.	as	the	nazis	felt	justified	in	slaughtering	jews	because	they	viewed	their	victims	as	"	sub	human	,	"	so	the	pro	slavery	forces	of	amistad	use	a	similar	defense	.	the	abolitionists	regard	the	africans	as	men	,	but	the	slavers	and	their	supporters	see	them	as	animals	or	property	.	in	a	sense	,	the	morality	of	slavery	is	on	trial	here	with	the	specter	of	civil	war	,	which	would	break	out	less	than	three	decades	later	,	looming	over	everything	.	amistad's	presentation	of	the	legal	and	political	intricacies	surrounding	the	trial	are	fascinating	,	making	this	movie	one	of	the	most	engrossing	courtroom	dramas	in	recent	history	.	four	claimants	come	forward	against	the	africans	:	the	state	,	which	wants	them	tried	for	murder	;	the	queen	of	spain	,	who	wants	them	handed	over	to	her	under	the	provision	of	an	american	spanish	treaty	;	two	american	naval	officers	,	who	claim	the	right	of	high	seas	salvage	;	and	the	two	surviving	spaniards	from	la	amistad	,	who	demand	that	their	property	be	returned	to	them	.	baldwin	must	counter	all	of	these	claims	,	while	facing	a	challenge	to	his	own	preconceived	notions	as	the	result	of	a	relationship	he	develops	with	cinque	.	even	though	attorney	and	client	are	divided	by	a	language	barrier	,	they	gradually	learn	to	communicate	.	aside	from	cinque	,	who	is	a	fully	realized	individual	,	characterization	is	spotty	,	but	the	acting	is	top	notch	.	matthew	mcconaughey	successfully	overcomes	his	"	pretty	boy	"	image	to	become	baldwin	,	but	the	lawyer	is	never	particularly	well	defined	outside	of	his	role	in	the	la	amistad	case	.	likewise	,	while	morgan	freeman	and	stellan	skarsgard	are	effective	as	joadson	and	tappan	,	they	are	never	anything	more	than	"	abolitionists	.	"	nigel	hawthorne	,	who	played	the	title	character	in	the	madness	of	king	george	,	presents	martin	van	buren	as	a	spineless	sycophant	to	whom	justice	means	far	less	than	winning	an	election	.	finally	,	there's	anthony	hopkins	,	whose	towering	portrayal	of	john	quincy	adams	is	as	compelling	as	anything	the	great	actor	has	recently	done	.	hopkins	,	who	can	convincingly	play	such	diverse	figures	as	a	serial	killer	,	an	emotionally	crippled	english	butler	,	and	richard	nixon	,	makes	us	believe	that	he	is	adams	.	his	ten	minute	speech	about	freedom	and	human	values	is	unforgettable	.	one	point	of	difference	worth	noting	between	amistad	and	schindler's	list	is	this	film's	lack	of	a	well	defined	human	villain	.	schindler's	list	had	ralph	fiennes'	superbly	realized	amon	goeth	,	who	was	not	only	a	three	dimensional	character	,	but	a	personification	of	all	that	the	nazis	stood	for	.	there	is	no	such	figure	in	amistad	.	the	villain	is	slavery	,	but	an	ideology	,	no	matter	how	evil	,	is	rarely	the	best	adversary	.	it	is	to	spielberg's	credit	that	he	has	fashioned	such	a	compelling	motion	picture	without	a	prominent	antagonist	.	amistad's	trek	to	the	screen	,	which	encountered	some	choppy	waters	(	author	barbara	chase	riboud	has	cried	plagiarism	,	a	charge	denied	by	the	film	makers	)	,	comes	in	the	midst	of	an	upsurge	of	interest	in	the	incident	.	an	opera	of	the	same	name	opened	in	chicago	on	november	29	,	1997	.	numerous	books	about	the	subject	are	showing	up	on	bookstore	shelves	.	it	remains	to	be	seen	how	much	longevity	the	amistad	phenomena	has	,	but	one	thing	is	certain	with	spielberg's	rousing	,	substantive	film	leading	the	way	,	the	spotlight	has	now	illuminated	this	chapter	of	american	history	.
pos	lock	,	stock	,	and	two	smoking	barrels	has	been	described	as	the	british	pulp	fiction	,	and	on	the	surface	,	that	would	seem	like	an	accurate	depiction	.	it's	got	the	usual	cross	section	of	characters	with	witty	tongues	involved	in	varied	illegal	activities	,	that	get	themselves	into	very	peculiar	situations	in	which	no	one	really	survives	unscathed	.	nonetheless	,	the	film	seems	to	be	missing	something	that	characterized	its	predecessor	.	and	right	now	,	you're	getting	the	feeling	that	i'm	about	to	quickly	file	lock	,	stock	as	another	tarantino	homage	copy	cat	crime	,	but	that's	not	quite	it	either	.	lock	,	stock	is	in	fact	,	probably	the	best	film	since	pulp	fiction	in	which	there	are	no	really	good	guys	.	like	pulp	fiction	,	lock	,	stock	begins	with	what	would	seem	to	be	a	simple	story	,	that	quickly	careens	out	of	control	.	in	this	case	,	four	buddies	;	tom	,	eddie	,	bacon	,	and	soap	,	pool	their	money	together	to	back	can't	lose	eddie	at	an	unbeknownst	to	them	rigged	game	of	cards	.	of	course	they	get	fleeced	,	and	end	up	in	heavy	debt	to	the	local	heavy	.	what	follows	is	a	madcap	plan	to	recoup	the	money	by	intercepting	a	heist	eddie	has	fortuitously	discovered	his	neighbor	is	carrying	out	.	the	interrelation	of	the	problems	with	the	original	heist	,	along	with	the	interception	of	it	by	eddie's	gang	,	and	a	couple	of	other	local	illegal	activities	result	in	a	frantic	circle	of	destruction	.	though	the	web	of	illegal	activity	is	obviously	reminiscent	of	pulp	fiction	,	where	lock	,	stock	most	significantly	strays	from	its	de	facto	blue	print	is	in	theme	.	in	tarantino's	masterpiece	,	the	theme	was	essentially	that	there	was	no	theme	,	no	morality	.	in	the	gritty	underworld	,	outcome	is	random	.	while	samuel	l	.	jackson	is	divinely	saved	and	given	a	second	chance	to	"	walk	the	earth	like	kane	in	kung	fu	,	"	his	partner	in	the	guise	of	john	travolta	is	sentenced	to	death	on	a	toilet	.	in	this	incarnation	,	the	badder	they	are	,	the	worse	their	fate	seems	to	be	,	which	often	is	death	.	the	real	question	now	,	is	why	have	i	rambled	on	without	making	much	comment	on	the	quality	of	the	movie	.	the	answer	of	course	,	is	that	i	don't	have	much	to	say	.	lock	,	stock	is	end	the	end	one	of	those	films	that	pretty	much	leaves	you	when	you	leave	it	.	you	can	talk	about	the	witty	plot	,	and	the	funny	lines	,	but	in	the	end	,	i	guess	a	movie	with	o	one	to	really	root	for	(	i	guess	we	do	root	for	our	four	pals	a	little	)	leaves	you	in	the	end	without	too	much	invested	.	so	we	leave	it	like	we	left	pulp	fiction	before	it	,	by	walking	out	of	the	theater	and	saying	,	"	wow	,	that	was	pretty	cool	,	"	and	not	thinking	of	it	after	that	.	(	of	course	,	as	with	pulp	fiction	,	some	could	always	take	a	deeper	shine	to	it	.	)
pos	cast	:	neve	campbell	,	courtney	cox	,	david	arquette	,	jamie	kennedy	,	liev	schreiber	,	jada	pinkett	,	sarah	michelle	gellar	,	laurie	metcalf	,	omar	epps	,	jerry	o'connell	,	timothy	olyphant	director	:	wes	craven	producers	:	cathy	konrad	,	marianne	maddalena	screenplay	:	kevin	williamson	cinematography	:	peter	deming	music	:	marco	beltrami	,	danny	elfman	(	"	cassandra	"	)	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	dimension	films	scream	2	isn't	quite	as	clever	as	its	predecessor	,	but	it	fills	the	gap	with	a	cutting	wit	.	death	even	gruesome	,	bloody	death	can	be	funny	if	handled	the	right	way	(	some	will	be	offended	by	this	statement	,	but	you	need	look	no	further	than	pulp	fiction	for	an	example	)	.	and	,	while	there's	plenty	of	horror	to	go	around	in	scream	2	,	the	latest	'90s	slasher	flick	incarnation	,	there	are	also	a	few	laughs	to	be	had	.	scream	2	is	a	slice	and	dice	movie	for	those	who	don't	take	their	horror	too	seriously	.	the	success	of	the	original	scream	took	everyone	in	the	industry	by	surprise	.	the	unexpected	blockbuster	,	whose	gross	soared	over	the	100	million	mark	during	its	six	month	release	window	,	opened	just	about	a	year	ago	and	turned	into	one	of	the	most	profitable	horror	films	of	all	time	.	a	sequel	was	inevitable	;	fortunately	,	nearly	the	entire	creative	team	has	returned	for	scream	2	,	including	director	wes	craven	,	screenwriter	kevin	williamson	,	and	actors	neve	campbell	,	courtney	cox	,	david	arquette	,	jamie	kennedy	,	and	liev	schreiber	.	as	stipulated	by	one	of	the	"	rules	of	sequels	"	uttered	by	a	movie	obsessed	character	in	the	film	,	the	body	count	in	scream	2	is	higher	than	that	in	the	original	.	paradoxically	,	there's	a	lot	less	gore	.	there	is	blood	,	of	course	,	but	nothing	excessive	by	slasher	movie	standards	,	and	there	are	no	depictions	of	spilled	entrails	.	craven	has	remembered	that	scares	are	more	important	that	graphic	displays	of	human	insides	and	bodily	fluids	.	a	second	strength	of	scream	2	is	that	it	features	a	gallery	of	legitimate	characters	rather	than	a	group	of	cardboard	cut	out	stereotypes	lined	up	for	slaughter	.	after	all	,	we've	known	some	of	these	people	for	two	movies	it's	almost	impossible	not	to	care	about	them	at	least	a	little	.	scream	2	opens	approximately	two	years	after	the	original	.	as	in	the	first	picture	,	there's	a	slick	,	self	mocking	prologue	.	this	time	,	the	victims	are	jada	pinkett	and	omar	epps	,	whose	characters	are	visiting	a	local	theater	for	a	preview	screening	of	the	movie	stab	(	which	is	based	on	the	"	true	life	"	events	of	scream	)	.	some	of	the	smartest	dialogue	comes	during	this	sequence	as	pinkett	bemoans	the	lack	of	african	american	participation	in	horror	films	(	it's	surely	no	coincidence	that	,	in	addition	to	pinkett	and	epps	,	scream	2	features	two	black	characters	)	.	shortly	thereafter	,	she	and	her	boyfriend	have	been	gutted	,	signaling	the	beginning	of	a	series	of	copycat	murders	.	craven	lets	loose	a	burst	of	tongue	in	cheek	creativity	for	the	"	movie	within	a	movie	"	sequences	.	they	give	him	an	opportunity	to	openly	parody	scream	an	act	that	he	accomplishes	with	great	panache	.	stab	features	heather	graham	in	the	"	casey	becker	"	role	(	played	in	the	original	by	drew	barrymore	)	and	tori	spelling	as	"	sidney	prescott	"	(	neve	campbell	)	.	sadly	,	we	only	see	a	couple	of	scenes	from	stab	.	it	would	have	been	a	little	more	fun	,	i	think	,	had	craven	used	joe	dante's	approach	from	matinee	and	shown	lengthy	excerpts	from	his	satirical	production	.	following	the	prologue	,	we	are	re	introduced	to	sidney	prescott	,	who	has	left	her	sleepy	hometown	to	go	to	windsor	college	.	her	friend	randy	(	jamie	kennedy	)	is	a	student	there	as	well	,	and	he's	just	as	knowledgeable	about	horror	films	as	ever	.	once	the	double	murder	at	stab	becomes	big	news	,	the	media	converges	on	windsor	,	looking	to	interview	the	original	victim	.	at	the	head	of	the	flock	of	vultures	is	gale	weathers	(	courtney	cox	)	,	who	has	a	little	surprise	for	sidney	.	she	has	brought	cotton	weary	(	liev	schreiber	)	,	the	man	sidney	falsely	accused	of	murder	,	with	her	.	also	arriving	at	the	college	is	deputy	dewey	(	david	arquette	)	,	who	is	there	to	act	as	a	big	brother	to	sidney	during	this	latest	round	of	tribulations	.	in	addition	to	the	survivors	from	the	original	scream	,	the	field	of	potential	victims	is	well	populated	.	there's	a	blond	co	ed	named	cece	(	sarah	michelle	gellar	,	who	has	now	appeared	in	two	of	williamson's	movies	this	one	and	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	)	;	sidney's	requisite	boyfriend	,	derek	(	jerry	o'connell	)	;	a	local	newswoman	(	laurie	metcalf	)	;	gale's	new	cameraman	(	duane	martin	)	;	a	british	drama	teacher	(	david	warner	)	;	and	several	sorority	sisters	and	would	be	sorority	sisters	(	portia	de	rossi	,	rebecca	gayheart	,	elise	neal	,	marisol	nichols	)	.	ultimately	,	there	are	lots	of	attractive	corpses	.	from	the	stab	scenes	to	lines	like	"	brothers	don't	last	long	in	situations	like	this	,	"	craven	and	williamson	are	clearly	having	a	lot	of	fun	with	scream	2	,	and	the	movie	is	enjoyable	,	if	a	little	overlong	(	the	livelier	first	hour	is	better	than	the	second	)	.	their	resolution	to	the	obligatory	"	whodunit	?	"	is	less	of	a	letdown	than	it	could	be	,	and	knowingly	offers	a	wink	and	nod	at	past	unmasking	scenes	.	(	"	nice	twist	,	"	quips	the	killer	.	"	didn't	see	it	coming	,	didya	?	"	)	one	senses	,	however	,	that	,	by	the	end	of	this	picture	,	the	overall	concept	of	a	hip	,	self	referential	slasher	film	has	been	played	out	.	supposedly	,	there's	going	to	be	a	scream	3	,	but	,	if	the	film	makers	don't	come	up	with	something	radical	,	we	could	end	up	with	a	classic	case	of	sequel	overkill	.
pos	rushmore	(	m	)	.	(	touchstone	beuna	vista	international	)	director	:	wes	anderson	stars	:	jason	schwartzman	,	olivia	williams	,	bill	murray	,	brian	cox	,	seymour	cassel	,	mason	gamble	,	sara	tanaka	,	stephen	mccole	,	luke	wilson	,	connie	nielsen	,	ronnie	mccawley	,	keith	mccawley	running	time	:	98	minutes	.	writer	director	wes	anderson	is	an	audacious	talent	who	possesses	an	unconventional	and	off	beat	sensibility	.	rushmore	is	the	second	film	from	anderson	,	whose	low	budget	,	slacker	crime	caper	bottle	rocket	was	widely	acclaimed	but	performed	poorly	at	the	box	office	.	in	rushmore	he	suffuses	the	typical	elements	of	the	dysfunctional	teen	genre	,	the	coming	of	age	tale	,	and	adolescent	school	comedy	with	a	subversive	,	wickedly	anarchic	spirit	.	the	result	is	a	refreshingly	offbeat	and	inventive	comedy	that	at	times	becomes	a	little	too	clever	for	its	own	good	.	rushmore	has	an	edgy	,	surreal	quality	that	sets	it	apart	from	the	puerile	humour	of	most	similarly	themed	comedies	.	the	film's	deliberately	eccentric	style	will	probably	hold	more	appeal	to	adult	audiences	.	fifteen	year	old	max	fischer	(	newcomer	jason	schwartzman	)	is	a	precocious	student	at	rushmore	,	a	ritzy	private	school	.	although	quite	brilliant	he	can	solve	complex	mathematical	equations	quicker	than	that	other	prodigy	will	hunting	max	is	also	something	of	an	obsessive	under	achiever	.	his	grades	have	slipped	because	of	his	passion	for	pursuing	extra	curricular	activities	.	max	is	the	president	and	founding	member	of	a	number	of	clubs	at	rushmore	bee	keeping	,	fencing	,	chess	.	he	even	formed	the	theatrical	group	that	performs	his	offbeat	plays	,	including	a	stage	adaptation	of	serpico	and	an	ambitious	apocalypse	now	like	scenario	.	he	is	put	on	"	sudden	death	academic	probation	,	"	which	simply	means	that	if	he	fails	one	more	exam	he's	out	.	max	is	sort	of	like	ferris	bueller's	evil	brother	a	devious	,	shrewd	and	manipulative	schemer	,	but	without	the	charm	.	he	is	a	thoroughly	despicable	character	,	and	is	never	in	danger	of	eliciting	sympathy	from	the	audience	.	at	times	you	want	to	strangle	him	,	or	shake	him	.	max's	downfall	begins	when	he	falls	heavily	for	miss	cross	(	olivia	williams	,	from	the	postman	)	,	the	junior	grade	teacher	.	in	an	effort	to	impress	her	he	attempts	to	build	an	aquarium	on	the	edge	of	one	of	the	school's	sporting	fields	.	he	approaches	wealthy	businessman	and	former	alumni	mr	blume	(	bill	murray	)	to	fund	the	project	.	the	plan	backfires	,	and	max	is	temporarily	expelled	from	rushmore	.	blume	begins	an	affair	with	miss	cross	.	the	jealous	max	begin	a	vicious	campaign	of	vengeance	against	blume	,	which	escalates	out	of	control	.	it	is	the	unlikely	relationship	between	these	two	eccentric	characters	that	provides	the	film	with	much	of	its	energy	and	humour	.	the	wealth	of	colourful	incidents	and	wonderfully	quirky	characters	suggests	that	rushmore	has	been	partially	inspired	by	anderson's	own	experiences	at	school	.	rushmore	has	a	sophisticated	and	decidedly	off	beat	sense	of	humour	,	although	the	laughs	are	not	always	obvious	.	the	performers	seem	attuned	to	anderson's	off	beat	sense	of	humour	.	in	an	impressive	debut	,	schwartzman	delivers	a	strong	performance	as	the	thoroughly	dislikeable	max	.	murray	is	at	his	smarmy	,	droll	and	laconic	best	,	and	delivers	a	wonderfully	understated	performance	as	the	emotionally	damaged	blume	,	who	is	little	more	than	an	overgrown	child	in	a	man's	body	.	anderson	has	an	idiosyncratic	visual	style	,	which	ensures	that	rushmore	is	quite	unlike	any	other	coming	of	age	tale	that	you've	seen	.	the	quirkiness	and	originality	of	the	scenario	unfortunately	doesn't	last	the	distance	however	,	as	anderson	eventually	settles	for	a	rather	conventional	and	somewhat	unsatisfying	resolution	.
pos	directed	by	:	andrezj	bartkowiak	written	by	:	mitchell	kapner	(	story	)	,	eric	bernt	how	exactly	does	one	review	a	jet	li	movie	?	i	suppose	it	must	be	held	to	a	different	template	than	the	new	film	from	tom	hanks	or	meryl	streep	.	let's	face	facts	,	if	you're	going	to	"	romeo	must	die	"	expecting	to	see	academy	award	material	,	then	you	obviously	haven't	seen	the	previews	.	you're	going	to	see	this	movie	for	bloody	,	bare	fisted	,	no	holds	barred	style	brawling	.	you	are	not	going	for	a	strong	plot	,	great	acting	,	or	important	social	messages	.	i	went	into	"	romeo	must	die	"	expecting	to	see	jet	li	at	his	gravity	defying	best	,	and	i'm	happy	to	report	that	the	fight	sequences	are	indeed	something	to	behold	.	the	problem	is	,	these	excellent	fight	scenes	are	few	and	far	between	,	and	the	remainder	of	the	film	is	filled	with	useless	melodrama	that	no	one	could	care	less	about	.	a	gang	war	has	consumed	the	bay	area	of	oakland	.	the	two	factions	are	issak's	(	delroy	lindo	)	african	americans	,	and	c'hu	sing's	(	henry	o	)	orientals	.	both	leaders	are	attempting	to	sell	their	bay	area	property	to	a	greedy	business	man	(	edoardo	ballerini	)	so	that	he	can	develop	yet	another	football	franchise	.	the	most	recent	casualty	has	been	c'hu's	son	,	po	(	jon	kit	lee	)	.	this	sets	off	a	chain	of	retaliations	from	both	sides	which	threatens	to	destroy	everyone	.	po's	death	brings	about	the	return	of	his	brother	,	han	(	jet	li	)	,	from	hong	kong	.	han	begins	investigating	the	events	which	caused	his	brother	to	be	murdered	.	while	investigating	,	he	meets	up	with	issak's	daughter	,	trish	(	aaliyah	)	,	and	the	two	soon	form	a	close	friendship	.	han	must	discover	who	the	killers	are	before	they	decide	to	eliminate	both	he	and	trish	as	well	.	if	this	plot	summary	sounds	a	bit	confusing	that's	because	this	is	a	rather	confusing	and	convoluted	movie	.	in	case	you're	wondering	,	it	also	has	very	little	to	do	with	the	bard's	tale	,	aside	from	the	name	romeo	being	in	the	title	and	the	story	revolving	around	two	warring	families	.	there	is	no	romance	between	trish	and	han	,	the	families	aren't	exactly	true	families	(	they're	just	warring	gangs	)	,	and	this	story	is	missing	the	excellent	,	comical	character	of	mercutio	.	in	fact	,	the	lack	of	humor	is	one	of	the	problems	with	this	movie	.	it	may	have	a	comical	moment	or	two	,	mainly	because	of	a	supporting	character	named	maurice	(	anthony	anderson	)	and	one	or	two	amusing	scenes	involving	li	,	but	the	majority	of	the	film	is	incredibly	and	unnecessarily	melodramatic	.	as	for	the	actors	,	it	seems	that	rap	singers	have	been	cast	in	place	of	actors	in	most	cases	.	rapper	dmx	has	been	cast	as	a	club	manager	,	and	aaliyah	is	obviously	the	female	lead	.	with	these	two	being	cast	in	significant	roles	,	you	can	guess	what	kind	of	soundtrack	is	going	to	accompany	this	film	.	if	you	don't	like	rap	music	,	be	forewarned	that	it	doesn't	stop	playing	throughout	the	entire	movie	.	the	other	actors	are	mediocre	at	best	;	the	only	two	exceptions	being	li	himself	,	who	exudes	charm	,	charisma	,	and	strength	,	and	delroy	lindo	(	"	broken	arrow	"	)	,	who	is	simply	a	good	actor	doing	what	he	can	with	a	miserable	part	.	worth	noting	is	isaiah	washington	(	"	true	crime	"	)	,	playing	lindo's	right	hand	man	.	washington	is	an	early	candidate	for	a	razzie	award	this	year	,	turning	in	an	absolutely	horrendous	performance	.	andrezj	bartkowiak	does	have	one	neat	little	trick	up	his	sleeve	.	throughout	the	fight	scenes	,	we	are	given	occasional	x	ray	insights	of	what	happens	to	a	person	when	li	hits	them	.	it's	nothing	more	than	a	gimmick	,	but	still	a	rather	original	one	.	after	watching	"	romeo	must	die	"	,	i	can	only	hope	that	li	will	be	given	a	better	script	next	time	.	the	man	is	incredibly	talented	,	and	it's	no	wonder	that	he	is	one	of	the	largest	film	stars	in	china	.	i	do	hope	that	his	next	film	contains	a	few	more	fights	and	a	lot	less	melodrama	.	one	last	thing	i	must	note	;	several	fights	in	"	romeo	must	die	"	are	blatantly	enhanced	by	cgi	.	this	was	completely	uncalled	for	,	as	it	ruins	the	effect	of	watching	li	do	his	thing	.	the	movie	runs	far	too	long	at	118	minutes	.	i'd	recommend	it	to	serious	martial	arts	fans	and	give	it	three	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	only	if	you	have	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	made	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	1998	,	r	,	100	minutes	1	hour	,	40	minutes	starring	:	rufus	sewell	(	john	murdoch	)	,	william	hurt	(	inspector	frank	bumstead	)	,	keifer	sutherland	(	dr	.	daniel	p	.	schreber	)	,	jennifer	connelly	(	emma	murdoch	anna	)	;	written	by	lem	dobbs	,	david	s	.	goyer	,	alex	proyas	;	produced	by	andrew	mason	,	alex	proyas	;	directed	by	alex	proyas	.	seen	may	31	,	1999	on	home	video	(	rented	)	.	one	of	the	best	things	about	the	movies	is	that	they	can	make	you	really	start	to	wonder	and	analyze	things	in	your	own	,	everyday	life	that	you	might	not	have	thought	much	of	otherwise	.	with	some	films	it	might	be	just	a	secondary	issue	,	but	with	dark	city'	what	we	get	is	nearly	an	entire	film	committed	to	philosophizing	and	theorizing	about	human	memory	and	how	it	defines	who	we	are	,	which	is	a	poignant	theme	made	through	an	absolutely	beautifully	constructed	film	with	the	kind	of	story	and	setting	that	could	only	happen	in	a	movie	.	there's	an	old	role	playing	computer	game	called	dja	v'	wherein	the	player	takes	on	the	role	of	a	man	who	can't	remember	who	he	is	,	where	he	is	and	how	he	got	there	.	the	goal	is	to	gather	as	many	clues	as	possible	to	figure	that	out	and	along	the	way	overcome	a	conflict	.	the	premise	to	this	film	is	not	unlike	that	game	,	only	this	time	we	don't	have	control	over	the	protagonist	.	we	begin	by	meeting	a	seemingly	ordinary	man	living	in	an	extremely	dark	and	dirty	city	(	actually	,	it's	more	than	just	the	city	,	it's	the	whole	reality	)	that	isn't	just	that	neo	gothic	look	(	a	la	batman	,	'	blade	runner	,	'	)	,	but	is	so	fully	developed	it's	almost	a	different	genre	completely	.	later	he	will	learn	that	his	name	is	john	murdoch	(	sewell	)	,	but	for	now	he	has	no	idea	what's	going	on	other	than	the	fact	something	is	not	right	.	the	fact	there's	a	dead	body	in	the	corner	goes	to	enhance	the	feeling	of	paranoia	and	a	mysterious	,	hurried	call	telling	him	to	leave	immediately	is	also	very	chilling	.	this	opening	scene	alone	goes	a	long	way	to	define	the	setting	of	the	film	and	its	bizarre	,	horrific	tone	.	the	man	doesn't	know	who	he	is	nor	where	he's	going	and	it's	interesting	to	follow	him	since	we	the	viewers	have	no	idea	either	we	can	sympathize	and	identify	with	him	.	in	fact	,	this	is	the	way	all	stories	begin	since	it's	impossible	to	know	the	history	of	a	character	,	their	feelings	,	values	,	morals	,	etc	.	until	after	we've	observed	them	for	a	while	.	but	in	this	case	,	the	total	feeling	of	amnesia	is	an	excellent	tool	towards	characterization	,	developing	the	mood	and	outlining	the	story	.	eventually	,	some	semblance	of	a	plot	begins	to	unfold	as	it	appears	that	john	is	a	serial	killer	wanted	by	the	police	.	we	met	inspector	frank	bumstead	(	hurt	)	,	a	quiet	,	unemotional	,	soft	spoken	deadpan	man	who	appears	to	have	been	on	the	trail	of	the	killer	for	some	time	.	two	other	important	characters	are	also	introduced	:	dr	.	daniel	p	.	schreber	(	sutherland	)	,	a	neurotic	psychiatrist	who	claims	to	be	john's	doctor	;	and	emma	murdoch	(	connelly	)	,	a	jazz	singer	dolled	up	to	look	like	a	caraciture	right	out	of	the	old	dick	tracy	serials	or	any	given	leading	lady	of	the	old	film	noir	movies	.	it	was	schreber	who	contacted	john	for	reasons	that	are	continually	revealed	throughout	the	course	of	the	film	.	he	also	contacts	emma	,	which	further	helps	the	film	reveal	what	is	seemingly	a	complex	,	mysterious	back	story	.	but	absolutely	nothing	is	as	it	appears	to	be	in	dark	city	,	'	which	is	what	makes	it	so	fascinating	throughout	its	continual	scenes	of	confusion	and	vertigo	.	everything	the	filmmakers	want	us	to	see	has	some	significance	considering	how	intricate	the	detail	is	to	every	single	shot	,	its	lighting	,	art	direction	and	overall	production	design	,	they	don't	seem	to	be	able	to	afford	any	gratuities	.	however	,	that	might	also	be	what's	keeping	it	from	reaching	its	maximum	potential	.	by	continuing	to	follow	john	as	he	wanders	around	this	strange	place	,	so	much	unlike	the	real	world	we	know	,	we	come	to	realize	that	it's	all	a	hoax	.	everyone	in	the	city	is	the	subject	of	an	experiment	being	conducted	by	a	race	of	aliens	to	understand	what	makes	humans	tick	in	their	efforts	to	somehow	save	themselves	from	extinction	.	but	,	as	the	film's	tagline	says	,	last	night	,	one	of	us	went	off	.	'	for	reasons	that	are	never	clearly	explained	,	it	appears	that	john	possesses	telekinetic	powers	to	can	do	pretty	much	whatever	his	mind	can	conceive	(	a	process	known	as	tuning'	)	.	the	aliens	,	which	look	like	very	old	bald	human	men	with	pasty	skin	,	also	possess	the	power	en	masse	and	use	it	to	change	the	city	every	night	at	midnight	.	at	the	same	time	all	the	humans	fall	asleep	and	after	the	changes	are	made	,	they	awake	and	either	continue	where	they	left	off	or	begin	a	new	life	they	have	no	idea	they	did	not	have	until	then	.	this	premise	certainly	is	interesting	and	director	and	co	screenwriter	alex	proyas	is	able	to	keep	the	film	consistently	mysterious	in	this	regard	.	he	does	provide	some	explanations	such	as	that	dr	.	schreber	is	an	assistant	to	the	strangers'	because	he	somehow	could	synthesize	memory	into	chemical	form	.	the	aliens	mix	and	match	the	memories	of	the	city's	population	to	see	who	will	change	and	who	will	not	.	in	the	process	this	creates	for	a	good	deal	of	deep	,	thought	provoking	philosophies	that	could	be	applied	to	the	real	world	.	however	,	where	the	film	errs	is	by	not	playing	up	the	idea	of	memory	versus	the	human	heart	as	to	what	makes	a	person	who	he	or	she	is	.	the	main	characters	are	all	closely	intertwined	within	the	seemingly	complex	murder	mystery	which	never	actually	happened	,	yet	when	they	start	to	go	through	some	of	the	expected	emotions	it	comes	off	as	distant	,	static	and	cold	(	mediocre	performances	by	hurt	and	connelly	don't	help	either	)	.	for	example	,	john	realizes	emma	is	not	and	probably	never	was	his	wife	so	he	does	not	feel	an	emotional	bond	to	her	,	yet	in	some	scenes	crucial	to	the	film's	plot	,	we	are	expected	to	believe	they	do	have	a	genuine	love	for	each	other	,	which	is	also	part	of	the	film's	climax	and	ending	.	and	that's	what	proyas	seems	to	be	inferring	with	the	film	,	but	never	quite	manages	to	convey	in	its	fullest	sense	.	ironically	,	this	is	what	made	his	first	film	the	crow'	work	so	well	,	which	had	a	similar	theme	of	struggling	to	find	hope	and	the	human	spirit	within	a	nearly	identical	,	dark	twisted	world	.	with	dark	city'	the	messenger	seems	to	be	mistaken	for	the	message	.	still	,	the	film	is	by	no	means	bad	and	is	consistently	entertaining	and	enjoyable	.	there's	a	lot	to	like	here	,	most	notably	the	sheer	visual	look	and	style	of	it	all	which	accounts	for	at	least	half	the	reasons	the	film	is	able	to	tell	the	story	it	does	.	the	story	as	a	whole	is	one	of	the	most	original	to	come	out	of	hollywood	in	years	.	dark	city'	is	what	the	movies	are	all	about	the	escape	from	the	real	world	.	please	visit	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	index	.	html	"	chad'z	movie	page	a	over	220	new	and	old	movies	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	blather	capsules	.	member	of	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	ofcs	.	org	"	the	o	.	f	.	c	.	s	.	a	(	online	film	critics	society	)
pos	member	of	the	internet	movie	critic's	association	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	studio	5713	index	.	html	a	the	talent	that	woody	harrelson	has	in	entertaining	movie	audience's	is	that	he	has	an	endless	amount	of	daffy	charm	and	exuberant	personality	that	it	makes	him	one	of	the	few	actors	that	has	made	a	successful	transition	from	the	small	screen	to	the	big	screen	.	after	an	oscar	nomination	for	1996's	'the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt'	,	harrelson	has	earned	the	respect	of	his	peers	and	is	well	on	his	way	to	a	great	career	.	when	i	saw	him	in	1992's	'white	men	can't	jump'	,	i	was	taken	by	his	penchant	for	playing	losers	and	'palmetto'	is	a	great	role	for	harrelson	to	strut	his	stuff	.	'fargo'	.	a	movie	about	a	man	who	hires	two	thugs	to	kidnap	his	wife	and	things	go	wrong	.	do	things	ever	go	right	in	a	crime	movie	?	'palmetto'	.	cleverly	disguised	as	a	'fargo'	wannabe	.	set	in	an	opposite	climate	(	'fargo'	was	set	primarily	in	upstate	minnesota	in	the	dead	of	winter	)	and	this	movie	is	set	in	the	steamy	town	of	palmetto	,	florida	and	the	movie	is	different	from	'fargo'	but	strangely	,	for	some	sub	conscious	reason	,	i	thought	of	'fargo'	as	i	was	watching	this	movie	.	woody	harrelson	stars	as	a	former	convict	whose	conviction	is	over	turned	after	two	years	in	the	slammer	and	he	is	released	.	he's	a	journalist	who	was	framed	for	an	article	he	wrote	exposing	political	corruption	at	the	municipal	level	and	he	returns	to	his	female	companion	(	gina	gershon	)	and	tries	to	re	capture	his	former	life	before	jail	.	upon	his	release	,	he	meets	up	with	a	sultry	woman	in	a	bar	(	elisabeth	shue	)	who	propositions	him	to	play	a	part	in	a	kidnapping	scam	for	which	he	will	receive	10	of	500	,	000	.	00	.	at	first	he	turns	down	the	proposal	but	later	finds	it	to	be	an	irresistible	way	to	pay	"	the	system	"	back	for	the	two	years	of	his	life	stolen	by	the	justice	system	that	kept	him	in	prison	.	the	plan	calls	for	harrelson	to	act	as	the	bag	man	in	the	kidnapping	of	shue's	stepdaughter	.	harrelson	is	supposed	to	act	as	the	threatening	voice	on	the	phone	and	will	pick	up	the	ransom	money	.	there	are	many	plot	twists	and	turns	that	will	tease	and	tantalize	the	audience	in	its	running	time	of	nearly	two	hours	and	the	film	has	a	solid	plot	,	doesn't	suffer	from	over	length	and	is	unpredictable	.	its	underlining	strength	comes	from	the	fact	that	the	film	isn't	over	done	and	has	basically	only	two	or	three	characters	at	the	most	on	screen	at	one	time	with	a	couple	of	exceptions	.	shades	of	1981's	'body	heat'	and	1990's	'the	hot	spot'	shine	through	but	director	volker	schlondorff's	sure	footed	direction	is	on	target	and	the	film	is	based	on	the	book	'just	another	sucker'	by	james	hadley	chase	.	gina	gershon's	character	is	somewhat	sedated	and	perhaps	unnecessary	but	the	real	surprise	in	this	film	is	elisabeth	shue	who	puts	her	best	foot	forward	since	her	oscar	nominated	role	in	1995's	'leaving	las	vegas'	and	her	character	is	that	of	an	evil	woman	with	a	slightly	psychotic	twist	combined	with	a	feeling	of	superiority	and	lack	of	conscience	.	not	a	great	film	but	a	rigorously	solid	one	,	'palmetto'	is	a	film	about	white	trash	at	its	sleaziest	.	a	good	example	of	immorality	played	up	with	little	violence	and	a	lot	of	sexual	innuendo	.
pos	richard	gere	can	be	a	commanding	actor	,	but	he's	not	always	in	great	films	.	everything	comes	together	here	.	gere	is	a	big	time	chicago	defense	attorney	who	takes	on	a	seemingly	unwinable	case	in	hopes	of	even	more	publicity	.	it	doesn't	go	exactly	as	he	expects	.	gere's	client	,	aaron	(	edward	norton	)	,	is	a	shy	stuttering	tennessee	boy	who	is	accused	of	brutally	murdering	and	mutilating	a	catholic	archbishop	.	the	evidence	is	stacked	against	him	.	he	was	caught	running	from	the	scene	covered	in	the	bishop's	blood	.	his	bloody	footprints	are	all	over	the	murder	scene	.	he	has	a	relationship	with	the	priest	.	gere	talks	to	the	boy	,	believes	that	he	is	actually	innocent	and	sets	about	finding	the	real	killer	.	despite	the	lawyer's	proclamations	that	he	doesn't	care	about	the	guilt	of	his	clients	and	that	the	real	thrill	is	gambling	with	people's	lives	,	he	becomes	involved	with	aaron	and	is	determined	to	free	him	.	lots	of	complications	and	twists	.	the	prosecuting	attorney	is	gere's	former	co	worker	and	lover	.	they	both	work	each	other's	motives	to	their	legal	advantages	and	it	gets	messy	.	her	boss	had	major	economic	dealings	with	the	archbishop	that	went	sour	and	seems	to	have	crime	connections	.	aaron	gets	weirder	and	weirder	as	the	trial	goes	on	.	gere's	case	is	falling	apart	and	he	is	faced	with	about	a	dozen	ethical	dilemmas	.	gere	is	exceptional	as	the	well	dressed	reserved	counselor	,	but	just	once	,	i	wanted	to	see	him	kick	back	and	come	out	of	his	"	suit	"	persona	.	even	when	he	loses	it	,	you	don't	see	very	far	inside	.	norton's	aaron	is	convincing	:	he	comes	across	as	the	backwoods	kid	misplaced	in	the	big	city	.	the	supporting	cast	does	a	fine	job	of	holding	together	the	story	.	as	with	most	of	the	effective	courtroom	dramas	,	the	cinematography	is	crisp	and	rich	.	the	story	will	keep	you	on	the	edge	of	your	seat	.	nothing	is	what	it	seems	.	this	appeared	in	the	4	11	96	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	starring	:	dan	aykroyd	(	elwood	blues	)	,	john	goodman	(	mack	mcteer	mighty	mack	blues	)	,	joe	morton	(	cabel	chamberlain	)	,	j	.	evan	bonifant	(	buster	)	,	and	just	about	every	blues	artist	you	can	think	of	,	both	past	and	present	directed	by	:	john	landis	,	written	by	:	dan	aykroyd	and	john	landiseverybody	.	.	.	needs	somebody	.	.	.	everybody	.	.	.	the	blues	brothers	.	it's	a	classic	.	it's	john	landis	.	it's	john	belushi	.	it's	dan	aykroyd	.	it's	blues	music	.	it's	great	comedy	.	now	it's	18	years	later	.	now	it's	blues	brothers	2000	.	it's	john	landis	.	it's	dan	aykroyd	.	it's	john	goodman	.	it's	joe	morton	.	it's	j	.	evan	bonifant	.	it's	blues	music	.	it's	good	comedy	.	blues	brothers	2000	starts	off	just	the	way	you'd	want	it	to	with	a	card	that	says	"	for	"	followed	by	the	names	of	john	candy	,	cab	calloway	,	and	john	belushi	.	then	,	with	"	john	the	revelator	"	playing	over	the	soundtrack	,	we	watch	elwood	blues	emerge	from	prison	.	he	stands	and	waits	for	his	brother	jake	(	originally	played	by	john	belushi	)	,	until	the	prison	warden	(	frank	oz	,	who	was	the	corrections	officer	in	the	original	film	)	approaches	him	,	puts	his	hand	on	elwood's	shoulder	,	and	says	,	simply	,	"	i'm	sorry	.	"	elwood	understands	.	he	bows	his	head	,	silently	,	in	grief	.	it's	a	moment	that	reminds	us	that	these	characters	,	as	screwball	as	they	may	seem	,	still	have	a	heart	and	soul	.	elwood	recieves	a	letter	from	sister	mary	stigmata	now	mother	stigmata	asking	him	to	come	see	her	.	he	does	,	and	when	he	arrives	,	he	learns	that	his	surrogate	father	,	curtis	(	cab	calloway	in	the	first	film	)	,	has	also	passed	on	.	it's	then	that	elwood	realizes	that	he's	lost	his	family	,	and	,	left	yearning	for	his	old	friends	,	he	decides	that	it's	time	,	once	again	,	to	get	the	band	back	together	.	but	mother	stigmata	wants	him	to	a	mentor	to	a	young	troublemaker	,	buster	.	and	elwood	wants	his	sort	of	step	brother	(	the	sort	of	gets	explained	by	stigmata	and	elwood	through	a	couple	of	dialogue	sequences	)	,	cabel	,	who	happens	to	be	an	illinois	state	police	captain	,	to	join	the	band	.	and	pretty	soon	elwood	meets	a	bartender	who	can	actually	sing	pretty	well	,	mack	mcteer	.	and	of	course	,	mack	joins	the	band	.	and	pretty	soon	,	also	,	the	police	are	after	the	band	,	as	are	the	russian	mafia	,	a	group	of	white	supremacists	,	and	a	collection	of	orphanage	workers	who	fear	elwood's	kidnapped	buster	.	and	they're	all	chasing	the	newly	reassembled	blues	brothers	band	across	state	after	state	as	they	head	to	a	"	battle	of	the	bands	"	contest	in	new	orleans	.	naturally	this	results	in	lots	of	wacky	chase	scenes	and	the	like	.	it's	a	blues	brothers	speciality	.	the	comedy	here	is	good	.	it's	fun	.	but	it's	not	on	the	same	level	as	the	hilarious	,	classic	stuff	from	the	first	film	.	it	does	,	however	,	recreate	the	feel	of	the	first	film	,	and	that's	important	.	the	city	backdrops	that	line	all	the	scenes	as	elwood	travels	through	chicago	during	the	first	half	of	the	movie	add	to	that	feeling	,	too	.	the	music	,	though	,	is	pretty	much	on	the	same	level	,	and	offers	a	wider	variety	of	blues	acts	from	both	today	and	yesterday	,	ranging	from	aretha	franklin	to	blues	traveler	.	it's	great	fun	,	very	exhilerating	,	and	is	sure	to	get	you	moving	to	the	beat	with	some	area	of	your	person	.	it's	probably	the	film's	strongest	aspect	.	as	far	as	annoying	aspects	,	well	,	the	fantasy	in	this	film	is	heavier	than	in	the	first	.	both	films	ignore	the	laws	of	physics	in	favor	of	wild	comedy	,	but	this	one	also	tosses	magic	into	the	mix	periodically	.	of	course	,	that's	not	too	hard	to	accept	,	really	this	is	the	blues	brothers	,	you	weren't	expecting	something	serious	,	were	you	?	but	in	all	of	this	,	the	movie	still	has	an	underlying	heart	and	soul	to	it	.	in	the	original	,	it	was	about	getting	the	money	to	save	the	orphanage	.	now	,	it's	about	elwood	getting	a	new	structure	for	his	life	.	even	if	this	isn't	a	major	theme	,	there	remains	something	satisfying	about	seeing	elwood	build	himself	a	new	family	to	hold	his	life	together	,	out	of	old	friends	from	the	band	,	plus	new	friends	like	the	large	yet	shy	mack	and	the	lovable	buster	,	who	feels	the	blues	in	him	even	at	age	10	,	and	steals	a	lot	of	scenes	.	out	of	the	four	major	players	,	cabel	is	the	least	characterized	,	but	it	doesn't	really	matter	,	because	joe	morton	always	holds	a	presence	on	the	screen	.	the	sign	that	,	even	if	it	isn't	a	classic	,	this	is	still	a	good	movie	,	is	that	it	leaves	you	wanting	more	.	does	that	mean	there	should	be	another	sequel	?	i'm	not	sure	about	that	.	i	don't	know	where	else	the	band	could	go	from	here	.	even	this	one	borrows	a	number	of	elements	from	the	first	movie	.	and	while	that's	not	a	serious	problem	for	this	sequel	,	as	it	still	takes	those	elements	in	new	directions	,	one	has	to	note	that	,	if	these	elements	were	used	a	third	time	,	they	most	likely	wouldn't	be	able	to	hold	up	.	so	,	see	blues	brothers	2000	.	enjoy	it	.	it's	fun	,	and	the	music	is	great	.	maybe	it's	not	nearly	as	hilarious	as	the	classic	first	one	,	but	it	still	manages	to	be	funny	,	and	it's	just	likable	.	most	importantly	,	even	though	john	belushi's	wild	antics	are	obviously	missed	,	this	manages	to	be	a	respectable	,	well	done	follow	up	to	the	blues	brothers	,	despite	what	many	naysayers	feared	.	to	have	that	be	pulled	off	,	after	18	years	,	is	something	to	be	proud	of	.	john	landis	has	made	his	best	movie	in	a	long	time	,	and	it	looks	that	,	perhaps	,	dan	aykroyd	,	thanks	to	this	and	his	memorable	yet	smaller	role	in	grosse	pointe	blank	(	1997	)	,	may	be	entering	into	his	renaissance	after	a	long	dry	period	.
pos	did	you	ever	hear	the	one	about	the	priest	and	the	rabbi	?	you	did	,	huh	?	well	i	promise	you	never	heard	it	quite	like	this	before	.	okay	i'm	lying	.	that	may	be	what	i	want	to	say	,	but	edward	norton's	"	keeping	the	faith	"	is	a	good	natured	,	and	at	times	very	amusing	little	comedy	which	suffers	from	a	lack	of	originality	.	in	fact	,	the	biggest	thing	this	movie	has	going	for	it	are	the	performances	from	the	two	lead	actors	.	don't	get	me	wrong	,	"	keeping	the	faith	"	contains	a	few	hilarious	scenes	,	but	a	lot	of	the	comedy	feels	like	its	been	done	a	thousand	times	over	.	for	example	,	how	many	times	have	you	seen	a	person	in	a	movie	ask	to	be	punched	to	show	how	tough	they	are	,	only	to	collapse	when	actually	hit	;	or	seen	a	rabbi	pass	out	the	first	time	he	sees	a	circumcision	?	strangely	,	the	lack	of	originality	doesn't	ruin	the	movie	.	because	the	film	is	so	pleasant	natured	the	rehash	of	past	comic	bits	makes	it	feel	comfortable	and	familiar	.	father	brian	finn	(	edward	norton	)	and	rabbi	jacob	schram	(	ben	stiller	)	have	been	friends	since	childhood	,	and	they've	both	always	known	exactly	what	they	wanted	to	do	with	their	lives	.	as	children	their	best	friend	was	anna	reilly	(	jenna	elfman	)	,	who	acted	just	like	one	of	the	boys	.	now	,	twelve	years	since	they	last	saw	anna	,	she	shows	up	as	a	career	driven	business	woman	.	jacob	,	whose	congregation	has	been	trying	to	set	him	up	with	someone	for	months	,	finds	himself	falling	for	anna	and	she	for	him	.	the	two	decide	to	get	together	,	but	without	telling	brian	for	fear	of	alienating	him	.	as	anna	falls	further	and	further	in	love	with	jacob	,	jacob	begins	alienating	himself	from	anna	.	he	is	afraid	that	his	mother	(	anne	bancroft	)	will	disown	him	,	as	she	did	his	brother	,	for	falling	for	a	non	jew	.	i	must	admit	,	i	was	impressed	by	edward	norton's	abilities	as	a	director	,	this	being	his	first	time	behind	the	camera	.	not	only	is	the	man	an	incredible	actor	,	but	he	is	now	showing	talent	in	other	areas	as	well	?	does	this	strike	anyone	else	as	being	a	little	unfair	?	okay	,	i'm	done	being	jealous	.	"	keeping	the	faith	"	is	a	rare	sort	of	movie	these	days	.	it's	a	wholesome	yet	still	highly	amusing	romantic	comedy	.	when	was	the	last	time	you	saw	a	movie	made	for	people	over	the	age	of	10	which	didn't	contain	some	act	of	extreme	violence	or	blatant	,	explicit	sexuality	?	okay	,	my	sermon	is	now	done	with	as	well	.	i'm	sorry	about	getting	so	preachy	,	but	i	just	saw	a	movie	about	a	priest	and	a	rabbi	,	what	do	you	expect	?	speaking	of	getting	preachy	,	i	will	say	that	"	keeping	the	faith	"	has	a	tendency	to	do	just	that	from	time	to	time	;	but	not	nearly	as	much	as	it	could	have	considering	the	film's	topic	.	edward	norton	may	be	a	very	gifted	actor	,	but	he	obviously	has	no	problem	taking	a	back	seat	to	other	actors	.	in	fact	,	one	of	the	problems	i	had	with	this	movie	was	that	norton's	character	is	never	given	the	amount	of	screen	time	he	deserved	.	brian	finn	could	have	been	a	very	interesting	character	but	is	never	developed	to	that	point	.	ben	stiller's	character	,	rabbi	jacob	,	on	the	other	hand	,	is	given	ample	screen	time	.	ben	stiller	,	previously	seen	in	the	funny	but	overrated	"	there's	something	about	mary	"	,	and	the	sadly	underrated	"	mystery	men	"	,	is	an	actor	who	is	capable	of	switching	from	over	the	top	physical	comedy	to	serious	acting	in	a	split	second	.	in	this	movie	he	finally	given	the	chance	to	shine	as	he	has	so	deserved	.	the	last	bit	of	casting	,	jenna	elfman	(	dharma	and	greg	)	,	was	a	very	poor	decision	in	my	opinion	.	i	have	never	found	jenna	elfman	to	be	a	particularly	gifted	actress	,	and	in	this	case	she	is	asked	to	carry	half	the	film	with	her	limited	talents	(	she's	also	a	good	two	or	three	inches	taller	than	stiller	,	but	that's	beside	the	point	)	.	besides	the	somewhat	dubious	casting	of	miss	elfman	in	a	leading	role	here	,	there	is	one	more	thing	which	makes	"	keeping	the	faith	"	a	good	film	rather	than	a	great	one	.	i've	always	said	an	important	part	of	a	movie	is	the	soundtrack	,	and	that	couldn't	be	more	true	in	this	case	.	not	only	is	there	very	little	music	,	but	when	the	music	is	present	,	it	is	nearly	always	inappropriate	for	the	scene	.	watch	for	milos	forman	(	director	of	"	one	flew	over	the	cuckoo's	nest	"	)	in	a	supporting	role	as	norton's	mentor	.	anne	bancroft	(	"	the	graduate	"	)	is	perfectly	cast	as	stiller's	mother	,	but	ron	rifkin	(	"	boiler	room	"	)	is	unfortunately	underused	as	an	elder	member	of	stiller's	congregation	.	"	keeping	the	faith	"	runs	a	little	too	long	at	125	minutes	.	i	recommend	it	to	fans	of	ben	stiller	and	romantic	comedies	in	general	and	give	the	film	three	and	a	half	out	of	five	stars	.	comments	?	feel	free	to	e	mail	them	to	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	"	johnbeachem	dependentfilms	.	net	a	for	past	reviews	,	movie	news	,	and	other	fun	stuff	,	visit	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	"	http	:	www	.	dependentfilms	.	net	a	one	of	the	greatest	movies	ever	made	,	see	it	now	.	great	flick	,	try	and	catch	this	one	.	okay	movie	,	hits	and	misses	.	pretty	bad	,	see	it	only	if	you	have	nothing	better	to	do	.	one	of	the	worst	movies	ever	made	.	see	it	only	if	you	enjoy	pain	.
pos	film	criticism	by	zachary	mcghee	rated	r	(	excessive	violence	,	language	)	,	110	minutes	,	2000	.	dimension	.	neve	campbell	,	courtney	cox	arquette	,	david	arquette	,	parker	posey	,	patrick	dempsey	,	jenny	mccarthy	,	scott	foley	,	liev	schreiber	.	directed	by	wes	craven	.	there	was	a	lot	riding	on	this	movie	.	everyone	even	moderately	interested	in	the	"	scream	"	series	was	dying	to	know	how	it	would	end	.	what	would	be	the	"	final	act	"	?	this	is	the	end	of	an	era	for	them	,	a	movie	which	has	kept	them	up	nights	searching	for	clues	on	the	internet	,	talking	and	tossing	around	rumors	with	their	equally	enthused	buddies	,	and	,	for	kids	under	17	,	those	elaborate	plots	consisting	of	buying	a	ticket	to	one	movie	and	hopping	into	"	scream	"	while	narrowly	escaping	those	menacing	ushers	who	are	only	a	year	or	two	older	than	themselves	.	no	need	to	worry	;	"	scream	3	"	is	endlessly	inventive	and	entertaining	,	a	fine	epilogue	to	the	series	that	made	kevin	williamson	a	household	name	,	reinvented	the	horror	genre	,	and	continued	in	the	self	referential	,	post	modern	tradition	of	quentin	and	co	.	so	,	how	does	the	story	go	?	as	opposed	to	what	some	fanatical	internet	sites	would	have	you	believe	,	sidney	prescott	(	neve	campbell	)	,	now	all	grown	up	and	constantly	dealing	with	her	pass	in	the	constantly	tormented	sector	of	her	psyche	,	is	not	living	in	hollywood	fulfilling	her	dream	to	become	an	actress	,	but	rather	in	upstate	california	,	living	,	understandably	,	alone	in	the	confines	of	fences	and	vast	security	systems	.	she	works	at	home	as	a	crisis	center	affiliate	over	the	phone	.	but	that	s	not	where	the	movie	starts	off	.	instead	,	in	a	tactic	that	reminded	me	of	the	somewhat	similar	,	and	conceptually	horrifying	,	sequence	in	"	eye	for	an	eye	"	(	1995	)	,	cotton	weary	(	liev	schreiber	)	,	now	a	big	star	,	drives	home	to	his	girlfriend	in	traffic	when	the	killer	calls	,	demands	the	location	of	sidney	s	home	,	and	,	when	he	doesn	t	get	it	,	threatens	the	life	of	cotton	s	girlfriend	christine	,	and	cotton	can	t	do	anything	to	stop	him	.	the	rest	of	the	sequence	is	particularly	clever	,	setting	up	a	constant	throughout	the	picture	:	the	killer	has	a	high	tech	electronic	voice	changer	that	tops	that	of	the	first	two	.	not	only	does	he	sound	unmistakably	like	talented	voice	over	artist	roger	jackson	(	ha	,	ha	)	,	he	can	now	easily	duplicate	the	voices	of	the	lead	characters	,	including	sidney	,	and	the	returned	gale	weathers	(	courtney	cox	arquette	)	and	dewey	riley	(	david	arquette	)	.	at	the	same	time	,	stab	3	,	the	third	film	within	a	film	based	around	the	characters	and	events	of	woodsboro	and	windsor	college	,	has	taken	a	less	authentic	approach	this	time	around	in	return	to	woodsboro	;	whereas	the	account	of	the	first	two	films	was	true	,	the	franchise	within	"	scream	"	has	now	become	totally	fictional	.	nevertheless	,	we	learn	,	cotton	made	an	appearance	in	the	movie	which	is	now	in	production	,	as	himself	to	be	killed	off	in	the	first	scene	.	so	,	it	seems	that	the	real	killer	is	offing	our	heroes	in	the	order	in	which	they	bite	it	in	the	movie'either	the	actor	portraying	them	,	or	the	real	thing	.	sometimes	both	.	clever	,	indeed	.	but	,	who	goes	next	?	no	one	knows	.	three	different	scripts	were	penned	,	we	re	told	,	to	keep	the	true	finale	off	the	internet	(	a	nod	to	the	"	scream	"	2	fiasco	a	few	years	back	)	and	no	one	knows	for	sure	which	one	the	killer	read	.	still	,	all	the	while	sidney	stays	concealed	in	her	home	,	only	visiting	dad	for	the	first	half	hour	of	the	film	,	while	also	having	horrifying	visions	of	her	mother	,	which	takes	us	back	a	bit	to	sidney	s	fear	of	becoming	what	her	mother	was'or	,	at	least	,	what	her	mother	was	secretly	.	when	sidney	finally	ventures	out	to	hollywood	as	the	murders	become	more	prevalent	,	she	s	chased	onto	the	set	of	stab	3	,	wandering	through	"	woodsboro	,	"	written	and	directed	as	an	odd	,	surreal	,	nightmare	indeed	,	this	is	one	of	"	scream	3	"	s	finest	moments	.	okay	,	over	the	years	,	i	ll	admit	that	i	ve	become	quite	the	"	scream	"	fan	.	no	,	i	don	t	have	the	ghostface	costume	or	the	director	s	cut	laserdisc	,	but	i	often	find	myself	compelled	to	pop	in	the	dvd	of	either	member	of	the	preceding	duo	,	and	can	get	quite	caught	up	in	the	dramatic	element	of	these	films	(	yes	,	i	said	"	dramatic	element	"	)	,	sometimes	debating	with	family	and	friends	the	possibilities	and	endless	theories	that	have	become	quintessentially	affiliated	with	"	scream	"	.	throughout	the	film	,	though	,	i	noticed	a	much	more	subtle	approach	than	the	other	two	films	.	granted	that	there	s	stabbin	a	plenty	going	on	throughout	,	but	there	s	considerably	less	blood	,	less	gore	.	honestly	,	i	like	this	approach	.	it	s	more	classical	,	more	rebellious	,	constantly	demonstrating	the	capable	direction	of	wes	craven	.	he	knows	when	to	hold	back	and	at	the	same	time	makes	the	movie	ooze	with	energy	,	illustrating	the	delicate	poise	flowing	from	his	years	of	experience	.	some	critics	have	noted	that	"	scream	3	"	seems	to	take	itself	more	seriously	this	time	;	maybe	so	,	or	maybe	screenwriter	ehren	kruger	(	arlington	road	)	,	who	took	over	after	williamson	had	scheduling	conflicts	,	saw	an	opportunity	for	true	irony'maybe	even	a	little	bit	of	satire'if	the	film	worked	in	a	few	more	clichs	.	what	puts	a	damper	on	this	otherwise	exceptional	and	creative	film	,	i	m	afraid	,	is	the	ending	,	or	,	rather	,	the	identity	of	the	killer	.	it	does	the	job	,	i	guess	,	accomplishes	what	it	should	,	bringing	the	three	films	full	circle	,	but	upon	my	first	viewing	it	seemed	rather	dissatisfying	because	it	appears	a	little	too	contrived	,	too	arbitrary	;	after	a	second	viewing	,	which	i	endeavored	upon	due	to	this	recurring	disapprobation	,	the	killer	s	identity	still	seems	a	little	too	random	,	but	his	motivation	came	across	more	sound	this	time	around	,	and	the	eventual	conclusion	was	ultimately	more	satisfying	.	all	in	all	,	"	scream	3	"	does	not	fall	victim	to	the	most	lamented	principle	of	a	trilogy	:	it	is	not	the	worst	of	the	films	.	as	a	trilogy	,	"	scream	"	was	a	lot	of	fun	;	refreshing	,	humorous	,	offbeat	.	almost	sad	to	see	it	go	.	but	then	,	it	does	seem	best	to	quit	while	you	re	ahead	,	and	"	scream	3	"	does	a	fine	job	of	providing	closure	to	its	characters	.	for	now	,	"	scream	"	holds	the	title	as	the	finest	series	of	horror	films	to	be	committed	to	celluloid	.	not	too	shabby	.
pos	if	chris	farley	had	strapped	some	fake	mutton	chop	sideburns	to	each	side	of	his	head	,	spoken	with	a	thick	irish	accent	,	and	tried	his	damnedest	to	play	it	straight	,	he	wouldn't	have	been	nearly	as	funny	as	brendan	gleeson	in	"	i	went	down	.	"	gleeson	,	who's	not	dissimilar	to	the	late	"	saturday	night	live	"	alumnus	in	terms	of	physical	attributes	,	plays	a	character	named	bunny	kelly	in	this	delightful	irish	film	.	bunny	is	sent	to	county	cork	to	"	retrieve	"	one	frank	grogan	for	an	irish	gangster	called	tom	french	(	well	dressed	like	all	good	gangsters	should	be	and	menacingly	portrayed	by	tony	doyle	)	.	bunny	is	to	accompany	git	hynes	(	peter	mcdonald	)	,	recently	released	from	prison	and	obligated	to	tom	for	disfiguring	one	of	his	cronies	.	that	tom	french	is	a	mean	bollocks	.	he	wants	frank	back	.	and	a	small	matter	of	some	25	,	000	that	tom's	wife	was	supposed	to	have	given	to	frank	.	for	this	he	won't	break	anyone's	thumbs	.	maybe	.	inventively	and	engagingly	written	by	conor	mcpherson	and	directed	by	paddy	breathnach	,	"	i	went	down	"	follows	the	trials	and	tribulations	of	git	and	bunny	as	they	knock	around	peat	bogs	,	dimly	lit	pubs	,	and	seedy	hostelries	trying	to	stay	alive	and	out	of	trouble	.	mcdonald	is	a	newcomer	and	a	promising	one	at	that	,	but	gleeson	has	been	in	over	a	dozen	movies	,	most	recently	as	father	bubbles	in	another	film	with	a	very	irish	accent	on	hilarity	,	"	the	butcher	boy	.	"	even	if	you	can't	comprehend	half	of	what	they're	saying	,	gleeson	and	mcdonald	together	make	"	i	went	down	"	a	trip	worth	taking	.	the	film	is	in	many	ways	reminiscent	of	another	"	little	"	independent	feature	,	1991's	"	highway	61	.	"	that	film	,	too	,	was	a	road	movie	and	it	shares	the	same	kind	of	wry	dialogue	and	humorous	situations	as	mcpherson's	tale	:	whimsical	observations	on	life	,	carefully	crafted	vignettes	,	deadpan	conversational	asides	,	and	scenes	that'll	make	you	laugh	out	loud	.	witness	the	episode	in	which	our	good	natured	protagonists	bind	frank	(	played	by	peter	caffrey	)	to	a	hotel	bed	,	leaving	him	with	only	the	tv	remote	for	company	.
pos	many	people	will	not	find	much	to	like	in	what	dreams	may	come	,	the	new	film	by	visionary	director	vincent	ward	.	most	will	come	to	see	the	computer	animated	landscapes	and	vibrant	colors	.	but	little	do	they	know	(	as	i	so	plainly	found	out	)	that	this	has	quite	a	complex	story	to	tell	.	walking	out	of	the	theater	,	i	could	see	the	audience's	disgust	.	.	.	one	member	even	had	to	be	awakened	after	the	film	ended	.	don't	believe	the	previews	that	you	see	.	.	.	this	is	definitely	not	a	film	for	everyone	.	this	is	quite	possibly	one	of	the	most	adult	oriented	films	to	come	out	in	recent	years	.	kids	will	get	bored	with	the	slow	plotting	and	the	complex	storyline	.	the	plot	is	just	as	fluid	as	the	heaven	that	ward	presents	to	us	.	it	goes	back	and	forth	in	time	,	as	if	it	has	no	boundaries	.	think	of	the	film	city	of	angels	.	now	add	a	more	complex	screenplay	and	a	more	unique	vision	.	both	films	deal	with	the	afterlife	,	but	i	doubt	what	dreams	may	come	will	do	well	at	the	box	office	.	costing	around	85	million	to	make	,	the	film	would	have	to	do	extremely	well	in	order	to	make	it's	money	back	.	but	due	to	it's	story	,	i	doubt	it	will	.	for	everyone	who	thought	titanic's	story	was	too	simple	and	cliche	,	here	is	proof	that	if	james	cameron	had	written	a	more	complex	screenplay	,	it	may	not	have	done	nearly	as	well	.	but	don't	get	me	wrong	.	.	.	i	hope	the	film	does	do	well	.	it's	a	vision	of	pure	visceral	enjoyment	that	hardly	ever	gets	put	to	the	screen	.	i	doubt	most	of	us	could	have	thought	of	this	place	,	even	in	our	own	mind	.	what	dreams	may	come	is	the	second	best	film	of	the	year	when	it	comes	to	visuals	.	the	only	film	that	surpasses	it	is	dark	city	.	full	of	rich	,	shocking	colors	,	we	get	to	see	a	heaven	that	most	of	us	would	probably	die	to	get	to	.	but	don't	do	that	,	because	you'll	end	up	going	to	hell	.	what	dreams	may	come	begins	with	two	boats	colliding	on	a	lake	.	chris	"	christy	"	nielsen	(	robin	williams	)	is	startled	by	the	sudden	jolt	,	but	is	even	more	startled	by	the	beauty	of	the	woman	in	the	other	boat	.	annie	(	annabella	sciorra	)	spies	chris	,	as	well	,	and	both	eventually	bond	and	get	married	.	annie	is	an	artist	,	whose	paintings	are	colorful	,	lush	,	and	surrealistic	.	chris	is	a	doctor	and	loves	annie	more	than	life	itself	.	they	also	have	two	children	,	marie	(	jessica	brooks	)	and	ian	(	josh	paddock	)	.	but	one	day	,	the	two	children	are	killed	in	a	car	crash	,	and	it	almost	destroys	annie	.	she	tries	to	commit	suicide	,	but	fails	,	and	is	then	put	in	an	institution	.	chris	copes	with	the	problem	by	realizing	they	aren't	around	anymore	,	and	nothing	will	change	that	.	just	as	annie	gets	her	life	back	in	order	,	chris	is	killed	while	trying	to	save	the	life	of	a	car	crash	victim	.	chris	goes	to	heaven	,	or	his	version	of	heaven	,	rather	.	guided	by	albert	(	cuba	gooding	,	jr	.	)	,	chris	explores	his	new	surroundings	with	pure	delight	and	joy	.	that	is	,	until	he	realizes	how	miserable	he	is	without	annie	.	prior	to	heaven	,	he	would	try	to	comfort	annie	,	but	the	more	he	was	around	,	the	more	pain	she	felt	.	chris	decides	to	leave	her	alone	.	little	does	he	realize	what	will	happen	next	.	i'm	not	about	to	say	,	because	the	plot	point	is	crucial	to	the	rest	of	the	story	(	many	critics	,	however	,	give	it	away	)	.	certainly	,	chris	dying	is	crucial	to	the	plot	,	but	they	tell	you	that	he	dies	in	the	previews	.	story	is	not	necessarily	important	for	this	movie	to	work	,	because	it	deals	with	the	afterlife	.	however	,	strangely	,	virtually	nothing	is	heard	of	god	or	the	devil	.	a	couple	of	comments	here	and	there	,	but	the	story	maintains	its	focus	on	chris	and	his	search	for	the	love	of	his	life	.	"	we're	soul	mates	!	"	chris	exclaims	.	heaven	,	in	movies	,	is	almost	always	depicted	as	a	glowing	city	of	white	,	purity	,	and	love	.	usually	,	it	also	looks	like	it	rests	among	the	clouds	.	but	what	dreams	may	come	goes	a	different	route	.	it	shows	us	a	heaven	that	most	of	us	have	never	seen	before	.	chris'	heaven	is	his	memories	brought	to	life	.	his	thoughts	can	make	anything	real	,	and	he	makes	the	paintings	annie	drew	become	his	heaven	.	"	i've	never	seen	anyone	use	real	paint	before	,	"	albert	says	.	equally	good	as	the	depictions	of	hell	which	cast	away	the	normal	stereotypes	of	fire	and	brimstone	.	instead	,	it's	a	state	of	being	.	in	one	gloriously	horrific	scene	,	chris	and	his	"	tracker	"	(	max	von	sydow	)	arrive	at	a	sea	of	faces	.	thousands	of	heads	are	stuck	above	ground	,	their	bodies	somewhere	else	.	mostly	dead	silent	,	some	quips	are	made	,	almost	as	if	to	lighten	the	mood	.	it's	truly	a	frightening	sequence	.	production	designer	eugenio	zanetti	is	definitely	going	to	be	up	for	an	oscar	nomination	.	using	state	of	the	art	computer	technology	,	worlds	are	created	for	exploration	.	sometimes	,	some	scenes	play	out	as	if	they	are	only	there	for	the	visual	impact	.	it's	not	necessary	to	be	there	,	but	we	appreciate	seeing	it	.	costume	designer	yvonne	blake	(	who	also	appears	in	the	film	)	has	done	an	incredible	job	providing	some	interesting	and	colorful	costumes	.	cinematographer	eduardo	serra	,	whose	work	was	last	seen	in	the	luscious	wings	of	the	dove	,	has	a	difficult	job	,	as	most	cinematographers	do	working	with	special	effects	.	but	serra's	entire	universe	is	a	computer	generated	image	,	and	he	does	a	masterful	job	.	writer	ron	bass	,	adapting	from	the	novel	by	richard	matheson	,	provides	a	very	fluid	screenplay	with	no	real	set	plot	.	the	story	is	extremely	vague	in	its	details	,	allowing	viewers	to	think	for	themselves	about	the	meaning	.	and	director	vincent	ward	puts	it	all	together	into	his	final	vision	.	what	dreams	may	come	is	a	good	example	of	german	expressionism	which	may	just	turn	off	a	good	portion	of	the	audience	.	your	average	movie	goer	more	than	likely	isn't	used	to	expressionistic	techniques	.	the	film	will	also	definitely	draw	attention	from	religious	people	,	but	they	shouldn't	take	it	too	far	.	it	is	,	after	all	,	just	a	movie	.	robin	williams	has	continuously	impressed	with	his	dramatic	performances	,	while	his	comedic	roles	have	been	suffering	.	his	comedy	is	perfection	when	he	makes	up	his	own	stuff	,	but	when	is	confined	by	a	screenplay	,	he	isn't	quite	as	effective	.	but	drama	is	really	his	strong	point	,	and	you	can	see	that	here	.	it's	doubtful	he'll	get	another	oscar	nomination	,	but	i	wouldn't	really	mind	if	he	did	.	the	real	surprise	here	is	annabella	sciorra	who	impressed	last	year	with	cop	land	.	this	may	be	her	breakout	role	and	may	garner	her	some	much	needed	attention	.	it's	also	quite	possible	that	she	could	get	an	oscar	nomination	.	however	,	the	academy	doesn't	like	to	award	performances	for	these	types	of	films	.	cuba	gooding	,	jr	.	has	been	better	,	but	he's	certainly	not	distracting	.	max	von	sydow	is	underused	,	as	are	jessica	brooks	and	josh	paddock	.	a	treat	for	some	movie	goers	is	to	see	werner	herzog	appear	(	if	they	even	recognize	him	)	as	chris'	father	lost	in	the	sea	of	faces	.	it's	not	hard	to	see	why	herzog	would	be	attracted	to	this	film	,	considering	he	thinks	that	audiences	are	starving	for	great	images	.	overall	,	it's	williams	and	sciorra's	film	.	what	dreams	may	come	is	rated	pg	13	for	thematic	elements	involving	death	,	some	disturbing	images	,	language	,	and	some	partial	nudity	.	the	film	is	definitely	aimed	at	a	more	adult	audience	.	some	will	find	the	plot	distracting	.	some	will	find	the	visuals	absolutely	glorious	.	and	some	will	find	both	.	the	only	real	problem	with	the	film	,	that	i	could	see	,	was	that	it	slows	down	considerably	during	the	midsection	,	just	after	we	have	been	immersed	in	the	visuals	and	before	the	search	for	annie	begins	.	by	the	way	,	some	controversy	even	surrounded	the	title	,	which	was	mistaken	for	a	sexual	term	(	"	what	"	becomes	"	wet	"	and	you	should	understand	)	.	in	actuality	,	the	title	is	from	a	soliloquy	in	hamlet	.	just	thought	i	should	let	you	know	.
pos	it's	always	a	shame	when	good	comedic	talent	goes	bad	,	and	a	pleasant	surprise	when	that	finally	lands	a	decent	role	in	a	funny	film	.	nothing	has	been	expected	of	rob	schneider	since	his	departure	from	the	hellhole	of	mind	numbing	roles	like	the	copy	guy	richmeister	and	the	weed	guy	on	saturday	night	live	,	as	well	as	bit	parts	in	ridiculous	muppet	movie	sequels	and	adam	sandler	comedies	.	but	rob	schneider	is	a	funny	man	.	i	remember	watching	him	at	the	improv	in	san	diego	when	i	was	12	years	old	and	laughing	my	ass	off	at	his	brilliant	portrayal	of	elvis	on	a	fishhook	.	i	was	12	,	but	what	the	hey	?	modern	comedy	comes	from	its	ability	to	not	take	its	story	or	its	characters	seriously	.	the	farrelly	brothers	and	woody	allen	have	taught	us	that	.	recent	failures	like	joe	dirt	and	schneider's	last	film	deuce	bigalow	:	male	gigolo	owe	themselves	to	a	seriousness	they	try	to	create	by	treating	their	main	characters	as	martyrs	for	the	audience	to	sympathize	with	and	pity	.	the	animal	does	no	such	thing	,	avoiding	this	common	mistake	totally	and	developing	into	an	enjoyable	and	hilarious	90	minutes	.	our	tale	:	marvin	mage	(	schnieder	)	is	a	loser	to	the	tenth	degree	.	he	makes	screech	from	saved	by	the	bell	look	like	a	romantic	lead	in	a	shakespearean	tragedy	.	stuck	with	the	lowly	job	of	file	clerk	for	the	local	police	force	,	marvin	longs	for	the	glory	and	honor	of	becoming	a	real	police	officer	like	his	dearly	departed	father	.	when	marvin	answers	a	911	robbery	call	,	he	ends	up	in	one	of	the	funniest	car	crashes	ever	imprinted	on	celluloid	.	a	deranged	scientist	(	michael	canton	)	rescues	marvin	from	the	wreckage	,	rebuilds	his	body	robocop	style	with	animal	parts	(	refugees	from	a	traveling	mexican	circus	)	,	and	marvin's	newfound	animal	instincts	naturally	kick	into	full	effect	when	he's	released	back	into	the	general	population	.	stupid	?	yes	.	i	just	never	would	have	thought	a	cross	dressing	monkey	doing	the	moonwalk	would	be	so	damn	funny	.	marvin	meets	and	falls	in	love	with	the	chick	from	the	first	season	of	survivor	(	colleen	haskell	)	,	uses	his	extra	keen	sense	of	smell	to	sniff	out	drugs	from	perpetrators'	rectal	areas	,	rescues	a	drowning	boy	flipper	style	,	consumes	enough	slim	jims	to	keep	macho	man	randy	savage	happy	,	humps	a	mailbox	,	and	tries	to	make	sweet	love	to	a	goat	in	heat	.	again	:	stupid	?	yes	.	but	the	bizarre	situations	dreamed	up	by	screenwriters	schneider	and	tom	brady	work	,	and	schneider	sells	it	for	all	he's	worth	.	trust	me	it's	funny	.	very	funny	.	i'm	almost	ashamed	that	i	laughed	out	loud	so	much	.	the	only	real	problem	is	that	it	all	falls	apart	in	the	end	,	a	good	idea	stretched	way	beyond	its	limits	.	the	script	degrades	with	too	many	plot	twists	,	relying	on	cameos	from	norm	macdonald	and	adam	sandler	for	comic	relief	in	its	last	20	minutes	.	in	the	end	,	it's	,	ahem	,	beating	a	dead	horse	.	with	the	animal	under	his	belt	,	schneider	demonstrates	that	the	innate	comedic	talent	i	witnessed	years	ago	is	still	down	there	somewhere	.	let's	just	hope	this	isn't	a	fluke	for	the	richmeister	.
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	cornerhouse	(	manchester	)	released	in	the	uk	by	buena	vista	international	on	march	31	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	110	minutes	;	country	of	origin	uk	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	patricia	rozema	;	produced	by	sarah	curtis	.	written	by	patricia	rozema	;	based	on	the	novel	"	mansfield	park	"	,	letters	and	early	journals	by	jane	austen	.	photographed	by	michael	coulter	;	edited	by	martin	walsh	.	one	of	these	days	i	must	train	myself	to	read	the	novels	of	jane	austen	.	so	many	people	love	them	,	but	as	of	yet	,	i've	been	unable	to	comprehend	them	.	her	sentences	are	too	long	for	me	,	and	written	in	complex	structures	of	defunct	words	unless	i	pause	to	absorb	each	one	individually	,	they	run	past	me	like	a	foreign	language	.	thank	goodness	for	film	adaptations	.	the	latest	is	"	mansfield	park	"	,	written	and	directed	by	patricia	rozema	,	and	based	on	the	book	austen	was	most	proud	of	,	as	well	as	the	author's	letters	and	early	journals	.	the	nature	of	the	additional	source	material	means	the	movie's	heroine	is	more	like	the	real	austen	than	the	character	in	the	book	.	this	can't	be	too	harmful	,	since	most	writers	impose	their	own	desires	and	values	on	the	protagonists	of	their	stories	.	the	girl's	name	is	fanny	price	(	frances	o'connor	)	,	whose	mother	sent	her	away	as	a	child	,	to	live	with	her	rich	aunt	lady	bertram	(	lindsay	duncan	)	in	the	lavish	country	estate	of	mansfield	park	.	fanny	has	grown	up	knowing	her	place	when	to	say	"	yes	,	ma'am	"	or	shuffle	off	in	a	corner	but	releases	her	emotions	through	story	writing	,	and	confiding	in	her	cousin	edmund	(	jonny	lee	miller	)	.	"	mansfield	park	"	is	a	generally	light	and	funny	film	which	invites	us	to	watch	fanny	handle	the	coldness	and	pressure	of	her	priggish	relatives	,	and	not	only	survive	,	but	somehow	prevail	.	i	have	no	idea	how	much	of	this	comes	from	the	novel	,	and	it's	hard	for	me	to	analyse	the	film	from	that	angle	.	this	is	not	a	position	i	enjoy	.	i	feel	out	of	my	depth	when	watching	a	film	based	on	a	famous	book	that	i	haven't	read	.	it's	as	if	i'm	missing	some	necessary	piece	of	general	knowledge	.	i	suppose	i	must	,	however	,	try	to	respond	to	some	of	the	charges	that	have	been	levelled	at	rozema's	picture	,	which	has	become	notorious	among	austen	purists	(	some	of	whom	may	even	have	seen	it	)	.	one	thing	people	are	up	in	arms	about	is	the	making	of	fanny	into	a	writer	.	from	my	ignorant	point	of	view	,	this	makes	perfect	sense	:	since	fanny's	environment	prevents	her	from	shouting	out	her	thoughts	,	and	a	movie	cannot	contain	a	narration	telling	us	what's	going	on	in	her	head	,	we	understand	her	feelings	through	what	she	writes	.	another	controversy	surrounds	the	way	rozema	explicitly	reveals	that	mansfield	park	profits	from	the	slave	trade	,	something	that	was	only	hinted	at	in	the	book	.	again	i	would	argue	that	this	is	unavoidable	:	in	film	,	if	something	isn't	on	screen	,	it	isn't	anywhere	,	and	besides	,	austen	wouldn't	have	insinuated	something	if	she'd	wanted	us	to	ignore	it	.	then	there	are	the	claims	regarding	rozema's	sex	scenes	which	are	ridiculous	,	because	no	such	moments	exist	!	there	is	one	brief	glimpse	of	a	breast	,	very	late	on	in	the	film	,	as	an	incidental	character	is	caught	en	flagrante	.	but	plenty	of	hack	journalists	are	making	out	that	this	is	some	sort	of	wild	bonkfest	,	with	fanny	price	leading	the	way	.	ah	,	sigh	.	there	will	always	be	cretins	who	invent	falsities	to	get	their	names	in	print	.	all	i	can	say	is	that	"	mansfield	park	"	is	an	enjoyable	piece	of	cinema	,	with	charming	performances	and	rich	,	colourful	photography	.	it	hasn't	dissuaded	me	from	attempting	the	austen	novels	a	few	more	times	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	carry	on	matron	is	the	last	great	carry	on	film	in	my	opinion	.	made	in	1972	,	it	still	features	most	of	the	regulars	of	this	genre	.	sid	james	plays	the	head	of	a	gang	of	crooks	intent	on	stealing	contraceptive	pills	from	the	local	maternity	hospital	and	selling	them	off	to	make	a	profit	,	kenneth	williams	is	sir	bernard	cutting	,	head	of	the	hospital	but	also	a	hypochondriac	,	hattie	jacques	re	takes	her	role	as	matron	,	and	charles	hawtrey	is	the	psychiatrist	dr	.	goode	.	the	jokes	come	in	fast	and	so	do	the	laughs	,	with	humorous	antics	between	the	matron	and	sir	bernard	.	this	time	,	williams	is	after	matron	(	jacques	)	when	he	needs	to	prove	himself	that	he	is	a	man	after	visiting	dr	.	goode	.	the	doctor	(	hawtrey	)	is	sworn	to	secrecy	:	"	i	assure	you	,	that	anything	you	say	to	me	today	will	go	in	one	ear	and	straight	out	of	the	other	!	"	bernard	thinks	he	is	having	a	sex	change	and	needs	to	prove	himself	.	there	are	great	cameos	from	joan	sims	,	an	expectant	mother	who	is	many	weeks	overdue	and	is	eating	constantly	in	every	scene	,	and	from	kenneth	connor	as	the	expectant	father	who	still	thinks	he's	at	work	(	at	the	railway	station	)	.	sid	james'	gang	including	cyril	his	son	(	kenneth	cope	)	try	to	find	out	where	the	pills	are	by	getting	cyril	to	dress	up	as	a	nurse	and	live	in	at	the	nurses	home	.	he	has	to	share	a	room	with	nurse	ball	(	barbara	windsor	)	and	she	soon	sees	through	him	!	the	film	ends	with	the	attempted	robbery	of	the	hospital's	pills	with	panic	ensuing	.	there	are	good	performances	by	hattie	jacques	as	the	matron	,	however	her	character	seems	a	little	more	subdued	and	quieter	than	her	previous	'matron's'	.	williams	is	,	as	usual	,	on	top	form	,	but	sid	james	isn't	given	a	very	good	part	in	this	movie	and	i	would	forgive	anyone	to	forget	that	he	was	in	the	movie	at	all	.	the	same	does	not	go	for	charles	hawtrey	,	for	although	he	only	first	appears	in	the	movie	after	30	minutes	gone	and	has	scarce	screen	time	,	he	seems	to	steal	every	scene	he	is	in	.	by	not	making	use	of	sid	james	and	barbara	windsor's	talent	to	full	effect	,	the	film	seems	to	flounder	,	but	it	certainly	makes	up	for	it	with	it's	good	storyline	and	it's	other	appealing	characters	.	this	film	is	genuinely	funny	and	i	could	watch	it	again	and	again	and	not	get	bored	!
pos	no	humans	were	harmed	,	tested	or	tasted	in	the	making	of	this	film	.	all	recipes	are	fictions	.	twentieth	century	fox	does	not	condone	cannibalism	.	a	psychological	thriller	that	will	scare	you	to	the	depth	of	your	soul	!	director	writer	antonia	bird	shows	us	that	the	most	terrifying	horror	is	not	provided	by	giant	beasts	,	but	instead	by	monsters	lurking	in	ourselves	.	.	"	.	.	they	were	a	party	of	settlers	in	covered	wagon	times	and	they	had	to	resent	to	cannibalism	in	order	to	stay	alive	.	.	"	this	true	story	,	briefly	mentioned	in	"	the	shining	"	,	has	no	turned	into	a	143	minutes	long	motion	picture	.	in	1847	,	the	united	states	was	a	land	of	pioneers	,	of	gold	starved	americans	making	their	way	west	.	it	was	a	period	of	manifest	destiny	,	the	inevitability	of	the	country	extending	its	boundaries	,	stretching	out	its	arms	and	consuming	all	the	land	it	could	.	capt	.	john	boyd	(	guy	pearce	)	has	become	both	a	"	hero	"	and	a	victim	during	this	period	of	relentless	consumption	.	.	.	in	ways	he	could	never	have	imagined	.	boyd's	journey	to	hell	begins	when	he	is	awarded	for	an	act	of	cowardice	during	a	horrific	mexican	american	war	battle	earns	him	banishment	to	a	desolate	military	outpost	,	a	waystation	for	western	travelers	in	the	barren	and	icy	sierra	nevada	mountains	in	california	.	upon	his	arrival	he	is	greeted	by	a	small	,	motley	group	of	soldiers	,	including	his	commanding	officer	,	hart	(	jeffrey	jones	)	,	a	previously	intelligent	and	sophisticated	man	who	has	lost	his	aristocratic	origin	in	the	heat	of	battle	and	has	pretty	much	given	up	on	life	;	toffler	(	jeremy	davies	)	,	the	fort's	personal	emissary	to	the	lord	;	knox	(	stephen	spinella	)	,	the	veterinarian	that	plays	doctor	,	who	never	met	a	bottle	of	whiskey	he	didn't	like	;	reich	(	neal	mcdonough	)	,	the	no	nonsense	soldier	of	the	group	;	and	the	seriously	"	over	medicated	"	cleaves	(	david	arquette	)	,	a	cook	whose	meals	are	inspired	more	by	peyote	than	culinary	ambitions	.	into	this	cold	,	bleak	and	bizarre	world	staggers	a	stranger	,	colqhoun	(	robert	carlyle	)	,	a	half	starved	scot	who	had	been	traveling	with	a	group	of	settlers	until	they	became	snowbound	.	seeking	refuge	in	a	cave	,	they	soon	ran	out	of	food	and	were	forced	to	consume	one	another	.	colqhoun	barely	escaped	becoming	an	hors	d'oeuvre	himself	.	our	heroes	then	decide	to	journey	through	the	mountains	to	find	the	survivors	,	and	colqhoun	tags	along	to	help	out	.	soon	it	becomes	clear	that	colqhoun's	tale	has	ramifications	beyond	cannibalism	and	the	will	to	survive	.	it	involves	an	old	indian	myth	called	weendigo	,	which	states	that	a	man	who	eats	the	flesh	of	another	steals	that	person's	strength	,	spirit	and	very	essence	.	his	hunger	becomes	an	insatiable	craving	:	the	more	he	eats	,	the	more	he	wants	,	and	the	stronger	he	becomes	.	there	can	never	be	enough	,	and	death	is	the	only	escape	.	.	it's	all	fairly	sickening	and	you	have	to	have	a	healthy	stomach	to	see	the	whole	movie	through	.	as	professionally	made	as	the	movie	is	,	you	have	to	wonder	who	they	thought	would	come	piling	into	the	theater	to	see	this	.	teen	age	horror	fans	won't	care	because	none	of	the	soldiers	look	remotely	like	neve	campell	.	older	folks	might	show	up	when	they	hear	that	the	movie	is	actually	a	satire	about	the	pioneer	spirit	,	but	they'll	be	disappointed	once	all	the	raw	meat	starts	getting	waved	in	their	faces	.	but	jokes	aside	,	this	is	a	film	that	is	well	worth	watching	.	it	has	wonderful	and	mature	characters	,	that	few	horror	film	s	can	boast	of	and	a	strangely	effective	story	that	continues	to	electrify	you	till	the	end	.	the	two	main	characters	are	also	the	most	interesting	.	boyd	is	a	simple	,	honest	man	tiered	of	war	,	killing	and	fear	.	his	sacred	wish	is	to	live	a	normal	,	quite	life	away	from	gunpowder	and	blood	.	colqhoun	is	different	.	he	proves	that	a	man	,	on	the	brink	of	death	,	would	do	anything	to	stay	alive	,	including	sacrificing	his	own	soul	.	he	believes	so	much	in	this	indian	myth	that	he	starts	to	change	physically	.	it	is	the	power	of	the	human	mind	and	conviction	that	make	miracles	happen	.	the	atmosphere	in	"	ravenous	"	is	macabre	and	bizarre	,	scary	and	surreal	.	completely	isolated	from	the	rest	of	the	world	,	stands	fort	spencer	.	here	time	stands	still	,	and	nothing	changes	.	the	inhabitants	are	soldiers	driven	by	war	and	pillage	.	they	are	all	somehow	losers	of	society	that	have	been	banished	men	that	are	used	to	killing	and	have	not	done	anything	else	in	their	entire	life	.	men	that	are	nothing	,	and	has	nothing	to	loose	.	the	result	is	some	sort	of	cabin	fever	.	cannibalism	is	more	like	a	sick	game	for	them	.	since	they	find	no	pleasure	in	living	,	they	find	some	excitement	in	killing	and	dying	.	it's	like	"	who's	going	to	die	first	?	"	the	unchangeable	icy	landscape	,	where	birds	do	not	sing	and	even	wind	doesn't	move	the	leaves	on	the	trees	,	resembles	kubrick's	"	the	shining	"	.	it's	hard	to	not	get	mad	here	!	one	of	the	scary	aspects	of	the	film	is	a	strange	connection	that	the	viewer	establishes	with	the	characters	,	and	starts	to	understand	them	,	although	they	have	turned	into	half	crazed	killers	.	music	is	another	factor	that	strengthens	the	atmosphere	.	a	strange	musical	score	,	composed	by	michael	nyman	(	the	piano	)	and	damon	albarn	,	that	often	seems	out	of	place	,	and	in	complete	contrast	to	the	image	,	somehow	reflects	the	characters'	twisted	reactions	on	the	world	and	their	situation	.	the	director	herself	stated	that	it	was	"	ok	to	laugh	"	during	the	picture	.	and	i	must	admit	that	it	is	often	very	funny	,	in	a	strange	way	(	such	as	the	wonderful	quote	:	"	.	.	it's	lonely	being	a	cannibal	.	you	don't	get	that	many	friends	.	.	.	"	or	when	colqhoun	is	quoting	ben	franklin	,	saying	"	eat	to	live	.	don't	live	to	eat	.	"	)	.	but	mostly	it	is	frightening	and	shocking	as	it	goes	deeper	into	the	minds	of	these	strange	men	and	we	witness	their	psychological	change	.	every	actor	does	a	great	job	.	especially	robert	carlyle	as	the	sinister	and	intelligent	cannibal	,	and	guy	pearce	as	the	moral	and	honest	soldier	,	nagged	by	his	undeserved	honor	.	this	strange	couple	resemble	lestat	and	lois	in	neil	jordan's	'interview	with	the	vampire'	.	actually	there	are	many	amusing	parallels	and	connections	to	vampire	movies	,	since	the	topics	are	so	alike	.	"	ravenous	"	starts	wonderfully	and	continues	to	shock	and	scare	until	it	gets	to	the	finale	,	where	it	looses	focus	and	gets	too	primitive	and	rather	boring	.	however	these	little	failures	don't	diminish	the	impression	.	this	is	a	bizarre	dark	comedy	about	the	human	mind	and	its	change	in	different	situations	.	it	is	a	scary	fable	about	the	monster	that	lurks	in	everyone's	soul	,	a	dark	side	which	we're	all	trying	to	hide	but	it's	there	always	.	it	is	one	of	the	most	frightening	and	successful	horror	films	since	"	the	shining	"	.	"	.	.	i	said	no	food	.	i	didn't	say	there	was	nothing	to	eat	.	.	.	"	colqhoun	,	ravenous
pos	meg	ryan	is	kathleen	kelly	,	the	owner	of	the	cute	children's	book	store	,	shop	around	the	corner	.	it	is	a	business	that	has	been	going	on	for	years	,	and	was	previously	owned	by	her	mother	.	kathleen	is	a	sweet	,	funny	,	nice	type	of	person	who	loves	kids	.	one	of	her	favorite	things	to	do	is	log	on	to	american	online	.	her	screen	name	is	shopgirl	.	she	chats	with	someone	named	ny152	every	day	,	and	they	are	the	greatest	of	friends	.	they	don't	go	into	specifics	,	but	they	just	have	a	simple	friendship	.	but	now	,	the	shop	around	the	corner	is	having	a	problem	.	a	store	called	fox	books	has	moved	in	right	across	the	street	!	it	is	owned	by	joe	fox	.	(	tom	hanks	)	this	store	is	huge	,	with	many	floors	of	books	and	magazines	.	their	goal	is	to	put	every	bookstore	in	new	york	city	out	of	business	.	joe	fox	also	loves	american	online	.	there	,	he	chats	with	a	girl	named	shopgirl	.	they	are	the	best	of	friends	but	they	don't	take	their	friendship	into	specifics	.	he	knows	nothing	about	her	.	his	screen	name	is	ny152	.	he	meets	kathleen	kelly	at	the	shop	around	the	corner	when	he	is	trying	to	buy	out	their	inventory	of	books	that	fox	books	doesn't	have	.	he	simply	states	his	name	is	joe	.	they	continue	to	meet	around	the	city	and	she	discovers	that	he	is	joe	fox	,	the	man	that	is	going	to	put	her	out	of	business	.	the	two	of	them	still	don't	know	that	they	are	in	love	on	america	online	.	they	fight	and	fight	and	fight	whenever	they	see	each	other	.	these	arguments	are	quite	humourous	.	ny152	asks	shopgirl	if	they	should	meet	.	they	plan	to	meet	at	the	coffee	shop	.	shopgirl	is	waiting	and	waiting	at	a	table	with	a	present	for	ny152	.	when	ny152	discovers	that	shopgirl	is	kathleen	kelly	,	he	freaks	out	,	for	he	is	joe	fox	.	he	enters	the	coffee	shop	not	telling	her	who	he	is	.	he	simply	sits	down	and	annoys	her	to	death	.	he	doesn't	mean	to	,	but	she	takes	it	that	way	.	now	that	he	knows	that	they	are	actually	perfect	for	each	other	,	he	is	extra	nice	to	her	.	the	next	day	he	brings	her	flowers	and	stays	in	her	apartment	and	chats	with	her	for	awhile	.	eventually	,	he	asks	shopgirl	to	meet	again	over	america	online	.	they	do	,	and	they	discover	that	they	were	in	love	the	entire	time	.	kathleen	simply	states	"	i	wanted	it	to	be	you	.	"	you've	got	mail	is	a	nice	,	cute	movie	with	some	good	laughs	.	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	are	so	wonderful	together	.	both	did	great	jobs	of	acting	.	you've	got	mail	shows	that	sometimes	if	you	look	beyond	the	business	in	people	,	they	may	be	just	right	for	you	.	although	at	some	points	in	the	movie	,	it	seemed	a	little	slow	,	the	overall	product	was	great	.	warner	brothers	is	out	of	the	slump	and	definitely	has	a	hit	.	america	online	is	supporting	this	movie	a	great	deal	.	they	even	have	a	feature	where	you	can	e	mail	tom	hanks	and	meg	ryan	under	their	screen	names	in	the	movie	.	parker	posey	,	dave	chapelle	,	and	greg	kinnear	also	have	smaller	supporting	rolls	.	parker	posey	plays	joe's	girlfriend	,	dave	chapelle	plays	his	friend	,	and	greg	kinnear	plays	kathleen's	boyfriend	.	the	bottom	line	:	not	oscar	material	,	but	a	wonderful	movie	for	all	of	you	aol	lovers	out	there	.
pos	a	standoff	.	a	man	holds	a	woman	,	a	diplomat's	daughter	,	hostage	in	his	embrace	,	a	gun	pressed	to	her	head	.	a	cop	,	impaired	by	drink	due	to	his	wife's	philandering	,	trains	his	gun	on	the	man's	nether	regions	,	threatening	to	shoot	.	another	cop	holds	his	gun	to	his	partner's	temple	,	forcing	him	to	disarm	.	the	scene	unfolds	like	a	foursome	bidding	in	bridge	upping	the	ante	,	signaling	tacitly	,	going	for	game	.	the	second	cop	retrieves	the	first	cop's	weapon	,	the	suspect	lowers	his	,	and	the	woman	caught	in	the	middle	moves	in	slow	motion	to	safety	.	it	is	then	that	the	intoxicated	officer	makes	his	move	,	grabbing	for	the	assailant's	gun	.	the	room	turns	upside	down	,	a	shot	rings	out	,	a	cop	is	down	.	shot	in	the	back	and	paralyzed	for	life	.	the	young	man	who	found	himself	in	the	wrong	place	at	the	wrong	time	is	sent	to	prison	for	six	years	for	a	crime	he	didn't	commit	.	storytelling	has	always	been	one	of	pedro	almodvar's	greatest	gifts	and	in	"	live	flesh	"	he	gives	us	a	twisting	,	turning	,	compelling	tale	peppered	with	well	written	,	colorful	characters	.	characters	who	find	themselves	,	more	often	than	not	,	in	carefully	constructed	scenes	like	these	.	characters	played	by	actors	we	might	not	know	,	but	who	look	strikingly	familiar	nevertheless	.	take	the	ruggedly	handsome	victor	plaza	(	liberto	rabal	)	,	for	instance	.	before	he	gets	out	of	prison	he	could	easily	be	mistaken	for	that	almodvar	favorite	,	antonio	banderas	.	when	we	first	meet	elena	(	francesca	neri	)	,	the	woman	in	the	middle	of	the	nervous	shakedown	,	she	looks	like	spice	girl	barbie	with	her	frizzy	shock	of	orange	hair	,	but	later	tones	down	her	look	sufficiently	to	pass	for	juliette	lewis	.	elena's	husband	david	(	javier	bardem	)	is	the	cop	crippled	in	the	shooting	and	he	wears	david	schwimmer's	bemused	expression	throughout	.	playing	the	inebriated	cop	and	his	cheating	wife	are	jos	sancho	and	angela	molina	no	lookalikes	spring	to	mind	,	but	they	round	out	the	excellent	cast	.	it's	a	credit	to	almodvar's	craft	that	these	five	individuals	cross	paths	and	intertwine	with	such	credulity	.	"	live	flesh	"	begins	and	ends	with	a	live	birth	and	the	film's	contradictions	come	almost	as	often	as	the	contractions	.	between	the	two	childbearings	,	coincidence	,	irony	,	and	a	hefty	dollop	of	sex	form	the	key	elements	of	this	thoroughly	entertaining	film	.	although	based	on	a	ruth	rendell	story	,	"	live	flesh	"	is	brimming	with	the	acclaimed	spanish	director's	high	heeled	flourishes	.	women	are	at	times	alluring	and	repulsive	,	their	extravagant	hairdos	and	animal	print	coats	providing	colorful	highlights	to	the	intricately	woven	drama	,	an	eye	bruised	by	an	abusive	husband	here	,	a	mouth	bloodied	by	an	impromptu	delivery	there	.	while	in	prison	,	victor	learns	bulgarian	from	an	inmate	and	learns	to	love	the	bible	,	quoting	from	deuteronomy	thereafter	not	unlike	the	way	by	which	david	and	sancho	refer	to	themselves	as	"	guardians	of	a	sick	flock	.	"	victor's	pre	fab	inheritance	is	a	shambles	in	a	slum	resembling	sarajevo	.	"	dear	son	,	i	got	cancer	"	his	mother	writes	to	him	in	jail	.	she	dies	before	he	is	released	and	it's	at	the	cemetery	that	victor	is	reacquainted	with	elena	redemption	,	ultimately	,	substituting	for	revenge	.
pos	cast	:	bruce	willis	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	robin	wright	penn	,	spencer	treat	clark	written	and	directed	by	:	m	.	night	shyamalan	running	time	:	122	minutes	bruce	willis	and	sixth	sense	director	m	.	night	shyamalan	re	team	to	tell	the	story	of	david	dunne	(	willis	)	,	a	stadium	security	guard	who	has	been	having	some	problems	at	home	that	are	affecting	his	relationship	with	his	wife	and	child	.	on	a	return	trip	from	new	york	where	he	was	trying	to	get	a	job	,	dunne	is	in	a	horrible	train	accident	that	he	is	the	only	survivor	of	.	to	make	things	even	stranger	,	dunne	has	also	escaped	the	accident	completely	unscathed	.	a	comic	book	art	dealer	named	elijah	price	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	who	was	born	with	a	degenerative	bone	disease	that	causes	his	bones	to	be	so	brittle	that	they	break	constantly	,	has	been	seeking	out	someone	like	dunne	his	entire	life	.	price	felt	that	there	had	to	be	someone	exactly	the	opposite	of	him	.	.	.	someone	whose	bones	would	be	so	strong	that	they	would	never	break	.	price	contacts	dunne	and	convinces	him	to	come	down	to	his	gallery	for	a	talk	where	he	suggests	that	dunne	could	quite	possibly	be	something	akin	to	a	superhero	from	the	comic	books	price	used	to	read	when	he	was	a	child	.	dunne	doesn't	believe	him	at	first	,	but	price	assists	him	in	discovering	his	"	powers	"	and	helps	him	hone	his	craft	until	he	discovers	what	his	true	calling	really	is	.	writer	director	m	.	night	shyamalan	had	a	tough	act	to	follow	with	his	sleeper	hit	the	sixth	sense	.	how	exactly	does	one	follow	up	on	one	of	the	biggest	and	most	popular	thrillers	in	recent	years	?	for	shyamalan	,	the	answer	must	have	come	as	easy	to	him	as	nuclear	physics	does	to	kindergartners	.	does	this	new	film	measure	up	to	his	breakthrough	box	office	smash	,	though	?	the	answer	to	that	question	is	not	a	very	easy	one	,	either	.	as	far	as	pacing	goes	,	the	sixth	sense	seemed	almost	interminable	.	it	wasn't	until	the	surprise	ending	was	revealed	that	i	realized	the	film	was	actually	intentionally	(	and	perfectly	)	paced	in	order	to	give	the	audience	ample	time	to	re	connect	all	of	the	information	they	had	seen	once	the	climax	had	been	reached	.	for	unbreakable	,	shyamalan	gave	the	film	a	much	more	satisfying	pace	which	,	in	many	ways	,	blows	away	the	film	that	had	come	before	.	the	story	moves	along	at	a	steady	pace	and	shyamalan's	direction	is	excellent	,	with	the	camera	almost	constantly	moving	.	there	are	tons	of	great	shots	in	the	film	,	not	least	of	which	is	a	conversation	that	opens	the	film	between	willis'	character	and	another	train	passenger	.	the	shot	seems	as	though	it	were	filmed	like	we	were	watching	the	two	talk	from	between	the	train	seats	and	the	camera	steadily	glides	back	and	forth	between	the	two	actors	as	they	speak	.	also	very	impressive	is	the	film's	score	by	james	newton	howard	(	who	also	scored	shyamalan's	sixth	sense	and	the	similar	film	stir	of	echoes	,	as	well	as	this	year's	dinosaur	)	.	several	of	the	scenes	are	driven	by	a	very	catchy	beat	and	help	to	increase	the	tempo	of	the	film	.	one	of	the	best	examples	of	this	is	a	scene	in	which	dunne	goes	into	a	train	station	to	"	exercise	"	his	powers	.	the	music	,	in	combination	with	the	stellar	visuals	,	really	go	a	long	way	towards	making	this	an	incredible	movie	.	if	there	was	any	one	soundtrack	i	would	make	a	must	purchase	this	year	,	this	one	would	be	it	.	the	film	also	boasts	some	great	performances	,	including	a	precocious	child	actor	trying	to	vie	for	the	oscar	throne	left	vacant	by	haley	joel	osment	.	willis	turns	in	a	great	performance	as	the	sad	sack	dunne	,	who	just	can't	seem	to	figure	out	why	he's	been	depressed	for	the	last	few	years	.	his	character	almost	seems	pathetic	when	we	first	meet	him	,	but	he	eventually	grows	into	his	own	under	elijah's	tutelage	.	jackson	is	one	of	the	better	actors	of	our	time	,	and	here	he	turns	in	yet	another	great	performance	as	the	ever	injured	elijah	.	though	his	hairstyle	is	absurd	,	jackson	seems	to	infuse	such	a	great	deal	of	pain	into	his	role	that	the	mortar	board	hairdo	can	easily	be	overlooked	.	robin	wright	penn's	role	seems	slightly	underwritten	,	but	she	still	manages	to	get	across	the	intense	hurt	of	her	character's	need	for	love	from	her	husband	and	her	desire	to	make	things	work	again	.	spencer	treat	clark	,	as	the	dunne's	young	son	jeremy	,	shows	that	shyamalan	still	has	a	knack	for	picking	young	actors	,	and	he	turns	in	one	of	the	most	competent	performances	in	the	film	.	out	of	all	the	characters	,	jeremy's	is	perhaps	the	most	emotional	,	and	clark	does	a	great	job	with	the	role	.	where	the	film	does	lose	points	though	,	is	during	its	"	surprise	"	ending	.	shyamalan	has	said	in	interviews	that	he	was	going	to	do	an	ending	that	blew	away	the	one	presented	by	the	sixth	sense	,	but	i	found	myself	saying	"	that	was	it	?	!	"	when	unbreakable	revealed	its	own	ending	.	it's	not	that	the	ending	is	bad	,	it's	just	that	the	ending	doesn't	quite	have	the	emotional	punch	that	the	other	film's	did	.	plus	,	it	almost	seems	like	it	sets	itself	up	for	sequels	(	and	i	won't	reveal	the	ending	here	,	but	you'll	understand	what	i	mean	when	you	see	it	)	.	essentially	,	what	all	of	this	means	is	that	shyamalan	has	made	another	good	film	with	unbreakable	.	the	only	real	problem	is	that	the	ending	doesn't	quite	fill	the	shadow	left	by	its	predecessor	.	as	long	as	it	isn't	held	to	the	standard	that	sixth	sense	set	(	which	it	ultimately	will	be	)	,	it	should	be	a	remarkably	well	liked	film	.	one	thing	seems	clear	,	though	.	shyamalan	definitely	has	an	affinity	for	comic	books	that	he	would	like	to	share	with	the	world	and	many	comic	book	fans	will	also	delight	the	vision	he	presents	in	this	film	.	reviewed	by	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	widescreen25	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	starring	tom	cruise	,	nicole	kidman	,	sydney	pollock	.	rated	r	.	eyes	wide	shut	isn't	the	masterpiece	many	were	hoping	to	see	in	stanley	kubrick's	final	film	,	but	it	is	an	impressive	achievement	;	a	mesmerizing	,	haunting	,	adult	psychodrama	about	marriage	,	fidelity	and	sex	.	it's	a	stanley	kubrick	film	from	beginning	to	end	,	consistently	exhibiting	the	auteur's	trademark	penchant	for	long	,	continuous	takes	,	his	unparalleled	deftness	behind	the	camera	and	his	uncanny	ability	to	extract	gorgeous	performances	from	his	exhausted	cast	(	indeed	,	eyes	wide	shut	attained	infamy	even	before	its	release	for	its	notoriously	laborious	shoot	:	kubrick	,	a	renowned	perfectionist	,	reportedly	held	his	cast	"	hostage	"	on	the	set	for	nearly	a	year	)	.	in	an	uncharacteristic	maneuver	,	kubrick	cast	two	big	name	stars	in	the	lead	roles	,	namely	real	life	husband	and	wife	tom	cruise	and	nicole	kidman	.	they	play	bill	and	alice	harford	,	a	volatile	couple	who	,	during	the	course	of	a	couple	nights	,	ponder	the	validity	of	the	idea	that	a	husband	and	a	wife	must	be	faithful	to	each	other	.	he	is	an	m	.	d	.	,	she's	unemployed	and	we	are	introduced	to	them	as	they	are	getting	ready	to	go	to	a	fancy	party	.	at	the	affair	,	they	are	both	propositioned	and	both	nearly	succumb	to	the	temptation	to	play	around	with	someone	else	.	when	they	return	to	their	lavish	new	york	apartment	kidman	(	after	smoking	a	dash	of	weed	)	inquires	whether	her	husband	had	sex	with	two	models	who	approached	him	during	the	night	.	he	(	truthfully	)	says	that	he	did	not	and	asks	what	happened	with	that	hungarian	guy	she	was	dancing	with	.	they	proceed	to	argue	until	alice	tells	her	spouse	a	lustful	story	:	evidently	some	time	ago	,	she	had	a	thing	for	a	young	naval	officer	.	she	admits	that	she	was	ready	to	give	up	her	whole	future	with	bill	and	their	young	daughter	if	this	guy	wanted	her	even	for	one	night	.	bill	is	jolted	by	alice's	story	and	we	anticipate	his	reaction	,	but	at	that	moment	he	gets	a	phone	call	and	has	to	go	"	show	his	face	"	at	the	house	of	a	just	deceased	patient	.	this	turns	out	to	be	the	beginning	of	a	long	and	eventful	night	on	the	town	.	the	daughter	of	the	dead	patient	hits	on	him	but	he	wisely	turns	her	down	.	he	almost	does	the	dirty	deed	with	a	kindly	hooker	who	approaches	him	on	the	street	.	then	,	through	a	series	of	coincidences	,	he	winds	up	at	a	gothic	mansion	where	a	ritualistic	(	and	frankly	,	creepy	)	orgy	takes	place	,	with	costumed	people	performing	various	public	sex	acts	on	each	other	.	erotic	dread	mounts	as	cruise	(	who's	not	supposed	to	be	there	)	wonders	the	spacious	halls	watching	the	"	action	"	until	he	is	discovered	to	be	an	outsider	.	much	hoopla	has	been	raised	over	the	fact	that	warner	bros	.	digitally	edited	the	orgy	scene	.	with	the	help	of	a	computer	,	they	put	in	cloaked	figures	to	block	some	of	the	actual	sex	acts	(	they	can	still	be	seen	,	just	not	in	all	their	glory	)	in	order	to	avoid	the	dreaded	nc	17	rating	.	european	viewers	will	see	the	film	as	kubrick	envisioned	it	.	roger	ebert	calls	the	american	version	the	"	austin	powers	version	,	"	and	many	others	have	bashed	the	alterations	.	i	am	of	the	potentially	controversial	opinion	that	the	figures	only	supplement	the	scene's	mystical	atmosphere	.	the	first	thing	one	notices	about	eyes	wide	shut	is	how	it	looks	.	this	is	an	artful	,	distinctively	gorgeous	production	,	shot	in	dark	,	moody	hues	and	featuring	some	elaborate	,	beautiful	scenery	.	from	the	giant	mansion	used	in	the	film's	centerpiece	to	the	decor	at	the	christmas	party	to	the	harford's	apartment	,	this	film	is	always	a	pleasure	to	look	at	.	to	boot	,	a	great	soundtrack	makes	it	more	atmospheric	still	.	at	the	core	,	behind	the	graphic	,	controversial	content	and	unappealing	mood	,	this	is	a	good	natured	movie	that	emphasizes	the	importance	of	fidelity	.	it	looks	at	sex	as	almost	perfunctory	by	portraying	it	as	unnerving	rather	than	erotic	.	it's	something	superficial	and	yet	something	necessary	to	achieve	a	deeper	relationship	.	at	the	end	,	it	seems	,	bill's	eyes	are	wide	open	to	the	special	kind	of	love	he	and	his	wife	have	for	each	other	,	more	meaningful	than	anything	he	could	ever	hope	to	find	on	the	streets	of	new	york	.	kubrick	elicits	wonderful	performances	from	both	cruise	and	kidman	.	tom	is	completely	convincing	as	dr	.	harford	,	a	man	who	seems	guided	solely	by	destiny	,	with	no	control	of	the	course	his	life	will	take	.	nicole	projects	a	quiet	intensity	as	the	jittery	yet	aggressive	wife	and	her	performance	is	stunningly	effective	:	she's	headed	for	an	oscar	nod	.	the	movie	has	some	help	from	a	similarly	strong	supporting	cast	,	at	the	head	of	which	is	director	cum	thespian	sidney	pollock	,	enigmatic	and	articulate	as	harford's	mysterious	friend	.	eyes	wide	shut	is	not	perfect	:	the	last	hour	could	have	used	a	slightly	more	scissor	happy	editor	and	both	cruise	and	kidman	are	too	good	looking	for	me	to	believe	that	either	would	have	a	very	strong	temptation	to	philander	.	still	,	this	is	an	important	work	from	a	great	director	,	and	while	it	may	not	be	on	par	with	some	of	stanley	kubrick's	best	it	is	a	worthy	final	film	,	a	complex	exploration	of	jealousy	and	faithfulness	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
pos	a	young	couple	have	split	and	are	fighting	over	custody	of	their	dog	,	mowgli	.	another	,	seemingly	perfect	,	couple	have	two	dogs	.	a	lonely	woman	who	hosts	a	children's	tv	show	has	a	dog	called	peanut	.	they	all	take	their	pets	to	the	dog	park	.	they	all	take	them	to	the	same	obedience	instructor	.	and	pretty	soon	they	have	all	met	.	this	is	a	film	about	relationships	and	how	they	do	and	don't	work	.	andy	misses	mowgli	.	and	his	exgirlfriend	cheryl	gives	up	custody	whent	their	pet's	therapist	says	mowgli's	sudden	unhappiness	is	due	to	witnessing	cheryl	and	her	boyfriend	have	boisterous	sex	.	since	andy	isn't	having	any	sex	,	his	house	is	a	better	home	.	but	andy	meets	lorna	(	peanuts	owner	)	.	they	meet	in	a	bar	where	she	picks	him	up	and	they	go	to	his	place	where	she	promptly	throws	up	.	despite	this	less	than	best	first	date	,	andy	likes	her	and	sends	her	flowers	against	the	advice	of	his	friend	jeri	(	the	female	half	of	the	perfect	couple	)	.	but	lorna	throws	out	the	flowers	and	vows	never	to	see	him	again	.	jeri	then	convinces	andy	to	participate	in	a	bachelor	auction	for	charity	.	he's	purchased	,	for	100	,	by	a	vegan	physical	therapist	who	starts	causing	real	problems	for	mowgli	when	she	and	andy	start	having	some	very	energetic	sex	.	but	andy	doesn't	really	love	her	,	he's	just	terrified	of	not	being	in	a	relationship	.	something	shared	by	almost	everyone	in	the	film	.	the	dogs	may	be	in	obedience	school	(	and	some	of	the	comedic	highlights	come	from	their	instructor	who	firmly	believes	dogs	are	better	than	children	)	but	it's	the	owners	who	need	training	.	they	lack	any	self	control	and	are	driven	by	their	passions	and	fears	.	of	course	,	we	all	know	how	a	romantic	comedy	like	this	ends	,	but	it	is	fun	getting	there	.	the	dogs	are	cute	,	the	relationships	close	to	real	,	and	the	dialogue	reasonable	.	if	you	liked	movies	like	ed's	next	move	,	you'll	love	this	.
pos	what	is	freedom	?	how	does	one	determine	who	is	free	?	in	1839	,	those	questions	were	more	difficult	to	answer	then	they	are	now	.	yet	,	the	mistakes	of	our	forefathers	must	be	examined	in	order	to	rectify	current	situations	.	that	is	,	in	essence	,	what	steven	spielberg's	gripping	drama	"	amistad	"	is	about	.	through	its	various	dramas	,	spielberg	presents	a	case	about	a	group	of	africans	,	who	,	after	being	seized	from	their	home	,	were	forced	onto	a	ship	and	sent	to	the	united	states	aboard	"	la	amistad	"	.	on	their	way	there	,	the	slaves	,	led	by	cinque	(	djimon	hounsou	)	,	rebelled	,	killing	off	part	of	the	crew	.	however	,	the	ship	was	still	directed	towards	the	united	states	,	where	the	africans	were	brought	to	trial	under	murder	.	in	the	court	,	various	factions	claim	ownership	of	the	slaves	,	and	therefore	try	to	seize	them	away	.	the	united	states	government	,	led	by	president	martin	van	buren	(	nigel	hawthorne	)	,	and	secretary	of	state	secretary	forsyth	(	david	paymer	)	,	try	to	ship	the	africans	to	spain	,	where	an	11	year	old	isabella	ii	(	anna	paquin	)	wants	them	back	.	the	two	spaniards	who	own	"	la	amistad	"	want	the	slaves	for	themselves	.	the	american	ship	that	found	the	slaves	also	wants	them	.	in	the	midst	of	this	are	two	abolitionists	(	stellan	skaarsgard	and	morgan	freeman	)	,	who	want	the	slaves	to	be	free	.	they	enlist	the	help	of	lawyer	matthew	mcconaughey	,	who	tries	to	free	them	.	through	various	legal	proceedings	,	the	case	appears	before	the	supreme	court	,	where	it	is	argued	by	ex	president	john	quincy	adams	(	anthony	hopkins	)	.	the	film	itself	is	a	visual	wonder	.	spielberg	favorite	janusz	kaminski	sets	the	film	in	a	dark	,	somber	mood	when	appropriate	,	and	a	visual	setting	when	appropriate	as	well	.	at	times	,	the	film	is	very	slow	,	and	very	methodical	.	however	,	spielberg	is	not	at	his	finest	here	,	because	the	courtroom	scenes	have	a	tendency	to	lag	.	the	film	is	,	in	essence	,	a	courtroom	drama	,	one	whose	events	are	oversimplified	.	the	characterization	is	also	weak	,	displaying	weaknesses	in	building	up	characters	such	as	the	lawyer	baldwin	(	mcconaughey	)	,	and	especially	morgan	freeman's	abolitionist	.	but	spielberg's	finest	work	in	the	film	,	the	opening	scene	,	a	scene	of	cinque's	family	,	and	the	brutal	voyage	of	the	slaves	to	america	,	is	altogether	stunning	.	it	is	this	emotional	force	that	carries	the	film	.	mcconaughey	is	superb	as	the	lawyer	defending	the	africans	,	hopkins	is	sensational	as	the	old	adams	,	freeman	is	outstanding	when	used	(	spielberg	vastly	under	uses	his	supreme	talents	)	,	and	the	rest	of	the	cast	is	stellar	.	the	movie	,	however	,	belongs	to	hounsou	.	his	emotional	intensity	is	brilliant	.	spielberg	manages	to	make	even	the	slowest	scenes	sparkle	with	focus	on	hounsou	,	and	the	film's	extraordinary	power	is	simply	captivating	.	the	film	is	flawed	,	for	most	of	the	supporting	characters	are	merely	cardboard	.	but	that	doesn't	matter	.	the	story	is	a	gripping	one	,	and	one	of	extreme	importance	.	kudos	to	spielberg	for	finding	it	,	finding	the	right	men	for	the	job	,	and	letting	the	audience	listen	to	the	words	of	cinque	.	a	good	job	all	around	.
pos	sandra	bullock	was	once	a	great	,	well	known	actress	.	for	a	while	,	she	was	one	of	the	best	ones	around	.	lately	,	she	hasn't	been	doing	all	that	well	.	the	only	movie	she	has	done	in	awhile	is	speed	2	:	cruise	control	,	which	was	a	huge	mistake	for	her	career	.	now	,	she	shapes	up	with	hope	floats	,	the	story	of	a	woman	and	the	many	problems	she	goes	through	.	harry	connick	jr	,	gena	rowlands	,	and	mae	whitman	co	star	as	the	people	closest	to	birdee	,	played	by	sandra	bullock	.	birdee	was	the	most	popular	girl	at	her	school	.	she	was	prom	queen	,	everyone	looked	up	to	her	,	and	she	was	truly	happy	.	a	few	years	after	high	school	,	she	got	married	to	a	friend	from	high	school	,	bill	pruitt	,	played	by	michael	pare	.	on	a	national	talk	show	,	birdee's	best	friend	connie	,	played	by	rosanna	arquette	,	reveals	that	she	has	been	having	an	affair	with	bill	,	birdee's	husband	.	they	have	been	having	the	affair	for	over	a	year	.	bill	wants	to	marry	connie	now	.	birdee	and	her	daughter	bernice	,	played	by	mae	whitman	,	are	extremely	saddened	.	they	move	to	smithville	,	texas	,	where	birdee	went	to	high	school	.	they	go	to	live	with	birdee's	mother	,	ramona	calvert	,	played	by	gena	rowlands	.	ramona	is	there	to	help	birdee	with	her	feelings	and	the	problems	she	is	going	through	.	it	is	kind	of	nice	for	birdee	to	be	back	in	the	town	that	she	grew	up	in	.	she	is	greeted	by	many	people	that	she	has	no	idea	who	they	are	as	she	walks	along	the	streets	of	smithville	.	she	goes	to	the	employment	agency	to	get	a	job	,	and	runs	into	two	more	people	that	she	knew	in	high	school	.	she	gets	a	job	as	a	worker	at	a	one	hour	photo	store	.	she	runs	into	even	more	people	there	as	they	come	in	and	out	of	the	store	to	get	their	pictures	developed	.	she	messes	up	a	lot	of	pictures	,	and	she	almost	loses	her	job	.	justin	matisse	,	played	by	harry	connick	jr	,	was	very	close	to	birdee	in	high	school	.	justin	has	been	helping	out	ramona	around	the	house	for	a	number	of	years	.	birdee	and	justin	are	reunited	at	the	house	.	at	first	,	birdee	is	uncomfortable	seeing	him	,	but	she	gets	used	to	him	and	they	become	close	friends	once	again	.	bernice	does	not	like	justin	at	all	,	and	is	determined	to	get	back	with	her	real	dad	.	bernice	is	now	starting	school	,	and	everyone	makes	fun	of	her	because	of	her	glasses	.	she	even	gets	beaten	up	.	she	is	extremely	upset	by	the	whole	thing	,	and	wants	to	go	back	to	leaving	with	her	dad	.	justin	and	birdee	become	closer	throughout	the	movie	,	and	they	start	to	date	.	ramona	hooks	them	up	as	good	as	she	can	,	and	she	succeeds	.	birdee	is	still	very	upset	about	the	entire	episode	with	bill	,	and	isn't	quite	ready	to	start	a	new	relationship	.	justin	is	becoming	frustrated	with	birdee	,	because	she	is	not	willing	to	move	on	from	the	man	that	betrayed	her	.	she	is	finally	willing	to	move	on	,	and	for	once	things	are	starting	to	go	right	in	her	life	.	she	is	becoming	very	happy	with	justin	,	but	there	is	a	problem	.	bernice	is	not	very	pleasant	any	more	due	to	justin	.	she	is	extremely	angry	at	her	mother	for	the	break	up	with	bill	.	bernice	blames	the	entire	thing	on	birdee	.	hope	floats	is	a	realistic	tale	of	what	one	can	go	through	throughout	their	lives	.	birdee	goes	through	tragedy	after	tragedy	,	and	finally	becomes	happy	because	she	keeps	her	hopes	high	.	sandra	bullock	does	a	great	job	of	acting	,	and	you	could	really	believe	the	pain	that	she	was	going	through	.	gena	rowlands	does	an	outstanding	job	as	her	mother	,	and	deserves	on	oscar	nomination	for	best	supporting	actress	.	mae	whitman	gives	a	powerful	performance	.	she	was	stuck	in	a	tough	spot	,	and	didn't	know	how	to	deal	with	it	.	harry	connick	jr	.	is	the	movie's	only	problem	.	he	makes	it	so	it	is	more	of	a	fairy	tale	than	a	real	life	experience	.	the	film	is	still	good	with	him	,	but	the	role	of	justin	matisse	could	have	beem	cut	down	a	little	bit	.	all	in	all	,	hope	still	floats	for	sandra	bullock's	career	after	this	film	.
pos	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a	after	the	terminally	bleak	reservoir	dogs	and	the	brutally	violent	pulp	fiction	,	jackie	brown	seems	like	something	of	a	light	hearted	departure	for	quentin	tarantino	.	it's	more	of	a	ho	hum	heist	story	with	characters	that	speak	the	tarantino	language	.	luckily	,	his	showcase	of	actors	convert	every	morsel	of	possible	enjoyment	onto	the	screen	,	and	jackie	brown	has	no	trouble	entertaining	the	average	viewer	.	the	story	introduces	us	to	a	street	wise	black	woman	named	jackie	brown	(	pam	grier	)	,	a	flight	attendant	who	smuggles	money	and	drugs	from	one	destination	to	another	.	she	works	for	a	bottom	of	the	barrel	airline	and	receives	a	minimal	salary	.	but	one	day	,	she	is	picked	up	by	a	pair	of	federal	officials	(	including	michael	keaton	as	the	tough	nosed	ray	nicolet	)	,	and	found	with	a	handsome	load	of	cash	and	a	small	bag	of	smuggled	dope	.	jackie	is	working	for	a	weapons	dealer	named	ordell	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	who	pays	her	bail	money	but	suspects	her	of	tipping	off	the	feds	about	their	operation	.	soon	jackie	and	ordell	are	plotting	a	way	to	smuggle	500	,	000	through	to	them	under	nicolet's	nose	,	with	the	help	of	ordell's	oaf	of	a	partner	(	robert	de	niro	)	and	drugged	out	lady	friend	(	bridget	fonda	)	.	also	entering	the	picture	is	a	bail	bondsman	named	max	cherry	(	robert	forster	)	,	who	takes	a	liking	to	jackie	and	agrees	at	one	point	to	make	the	situation	even	more	complicated	(	how	i	won't	say	)	.	the	big	drop	off	is	undoubtedly	the	high	point	of	jackie	brown	,	in	which	numerous	double	crosses	take	place	and	many	clothing	store	bags	(	filled	with	cash	)	switch	hands	.	it's	unfortunate	that	tarantino	takes	his	sweet	time	getting	there	,	and	doesn't	offer	anything	extremely	compelling	while	doing	so	.	there	are	,	as	always	,	amusing	exchanges	between	characters	.	the	funniest	repartee	is	between	de	niro	and	fonda	,	as	he	becomes	annoyed	with	her	constant	bickering	while	making	fun	of	his	iq	,	or	lack	thereof	.	the	most	interesting	relationship	is	between	max	and	jackie	.	a	56	year	old	white	bail	bondsman	and	a	44	year	old	black	flight	attendant	with	believable	chemistry	?	you've	got	to	commend	the	acting	.	jackie	brown	is	a	seriously	dragged	out	exercise	enlivened	by	such	fine	acting	.	the	film	clocks	in	at	a	lengthy	2	hours	,	35	minutes	.	tarantino's	talky	style	manages	to	hold	your	attention	heavily	,	but	there	are	more	than	a	few	dramatic	lapses	and	crucial	lulls	in	the	storyline	.	also	,	fans	of	the	director	should	be	prepared	for	a	lighter	side	to	appear	.	jackie	brown	has	four	major	shootings	,	and	two	of	those	take	place	mostly	off	screen	,	so	don't	be	expecting	a	typical	tarantino	bloodbath	.	you	can	expect	frequent	foul	language	,	mostly	coming	way	of	ordell	,	who	(	much	to	the	dismay	of	spike	lee	)	uses	the	n'	word	as	part	of	his	regular	vocabulary	.	the	acting	is	the	glue	that	holds	everything	together	.	grier	,	making	a	sudden	comeback	from	her	reign	in	the	1970's	,	is	more	than	adequate	for	the	title	character	.	in	fact	,	she's	flat	out	great	.	another	comeback	comes	from	former	tv	star	robert	forster	,	who	does	a	grand	job	as	max	cherry	,	and	is	perfectly	cast	in	doing	so	.	michael	keaton	makes	his	presence	felt	,	albeit	in	small	but	dignified	moments	,	and	de	niro	is	ideal	in	playing	the	lug	head	who	goes	over	the	edge	.	speaking	of	that	,	bridget	fonda	has	relatively	little	to	do	as	ordell's	bikini	clad	beach	babe	,	and	yet	she	manages	to	look	fairly	occupied	.	there's	not	a	single	sign	of	misplaced	dialogue	or	snubbed	line	throughout	the	entire	movie	.	which	is	a	life	saver	for	mr	.	tarantino	.	the	story	barely	holds	together	in	the	meantime	,	and	we	merely	get	a	small	tremor	whenever	there	should	be	a	defeaning	earthquake	.	but	oh	well	.	jackie	brown	manages	to	be	an	enjoyable	detour	from	quentin	tarantino	,	even	if	it	is	lacking	the	glaring	and	original	bite	of	his	previous	work	.	let's	just	hope	that	the	director	hasn't	gone	soft	on	us	.
pos	naomi	watts	chases	hollywood	dreams	along	mulholland	drive	a	feature	story	by	jeremiah	kipp	copyright	2001	filmcritic	.	comaustralian	actress	naomi	watts	(	tank	girl	)	portrays	a	wholesome	young	starlet	eager	to	fulfill	her	hollywood	dreams	in	david	lynch's	latest	noir	fantasia	,	mulholland	drive	.	betty	elms	,	fresh	off	the	plane	from	canada	,	finds	herself	temporarily	diverted	from	her	earnest	,	sparkling	hopes	for	movie	stardom	by	the	unexpected	appearance	of	rita	(	laura	elena	harring	)	,	the	amnesia	stricken	survivor	of	a	traumatic	car	accident	.	out	of	the	plum	goodness	of	her	heart	,	surely	made	of	solid	gold	,	betty	guides	rita	on	her	quest	for	self	discovery	.	this	path	gradually	leads	them	to	dark	revelations	that	shake	the	foundations	of	their	unexpectedly	fragile	reality	.	those	who	have	not	seen	mulholland	drive	should	be	advised	that	our	interview	with	ms	.	watts	(	daughter	of	a	pink	floyd	sound	engineer	)	divulges	certain	details	of	the	plot	that	first	time	viewers	may	not	wish	to	uncover	.	though	lynch's	tapestry	suggests	multiple	interpretations	and	demands	repeated	viewings	,	this	interview	considers	one	possibility	suggested	by	ms	.	watts	and	implied	by	several	critics	in	their	reviews	.	our	discussion	is	by	no	means	the	only	reading	,	but	provides	a	unique	response	to	the	material	from	an	actor	translating	lynch's	abstractions	into	grounded	,	character	driven	motivation	.	read	no	further	if	you	don't	want	to	know	the	key	narrative	shift	of	mulholland	drive	.
pos	cast	:	nicolas	cage	,	giovanni	ribisi	,	angelina	jolie	,	robert	duvall	,	t	.	j	.	cross	,	william	lee	scott	,	scott	caan	,	james	duval	,	will	patton	,	delroy	lindo	,	timothy	olyphant	,	chi	mcbride	,	christopher	eccleston	,	vinnie	jones	,	grace	zabriskie	,	arye	gross	written	by	:	scott	rosenberg	directed	by	:	dominic	sena	running	time	:	117	minutes	screening	theater	:	starnet	pablo	9	theaters	jacksonville	beach	,	fl	director	dominic	sena	(	who	made	the	highly	underrated	kalifornia	)	and	producer	jerry	bruckheimer	(	the	rock	,	armageddon	)	bring	us	a	slick	and	entertaining	remake	of	the	1974	film	of	the	same	name	that	absolutely	no	one	has	ever	seen	.	nicolas	cage	plays	memphis	,	a	retired	car	thief	who's	"	pulled	back	in	"	to	the	business	by	an	evil	car	thief	overlord	(	christopher	eccleston	)	determined	to	kill	memphis'	kid	brother	(	giovanni	ribisi	)	.	memphis	is	ordered	to	steal	50	cars	in	four	days	time	or	his	brother	will	meet	an	unfortunate	demise	,	all	while	having	to	elude	the	detectives	hot	on	his	trail	and	a	rival	car	thief	who	feels	the	job	should	have	been	given	to	him	and	his	gang	.	memphis	sets	out	to	put	his	old	crew	back	together	,	but	discovers	that	most	of	them	have	retired	as	well	.	gone	in	sixty	seconds	does	things	right	from	the	opening	credits	.	in	that	sequence	,	we	get	a	rockin'	little	tune	from	moby	,	along	with	some	simple	back	story	told	only	with	photographs	and	assorted	objects	.	filmmakers	can	sometimes	make	or	break	a	film	just	from	its	opening	title	sequence	,	and	this	one	easily	gets	you	in	the	mindset	for	an	entertaining	ride	.	and	what	follows	doesn't	disappoint	.	.	.	cage	turns	in	one	of	his	good	performances	here	(	he	can	easily	go	either	way	.	.	.	good	or	bad	.	.	.	i	don't	know	how	he	does	that	)	,	and	his	mannerisms	and	dialogue	delivery	carry	the	film	along	nicely	.	of	the	supporting	cast	members	,	angelina	jolie	as	memphis'	former	love	is	in	the	film	just	to	provide	eye	candy	(	she's	definitely	the	hottest	looking	grease	monkey	i've	ever	seen	)	and	robert	duvall	as	memphis'	former	mentor	is	just	around	to	lend	the	film	some	class	.	also	,	i'm	a	big	fan	of	will	patton	(	armageddon	,	the	postman	)	and	would	love	to	see	him	get	a	huge	role	someday	.	none	of	these	three	performers	are	given	much	to	do	unfortunately	.	some	underrated	performers	however	are	given	meaty	supporting	roles	.	delroy	lindo	(	get	shorty	)	shines	as	the	exasperated	detective	in	pursuit	of	memphis	,	as	does	timothy	olyphant	(	go	)	as	lindo's	partner	.	i	just	wish	some	of	the	other	characters	could	have	been	as	important	.	the	only	real	gripe	i	have	about	the	film	though	is	its	conclusion	.	.	.	mainly	because	you	know	how	it	will	end	before	the	opening	credits	even	roll	.	there's	no	doubt	in	anyone's	mind	that	the	50	cars	will	be	successfully	stolen	,	and	the	filmmakers	blew	a	perfectly	good	opportunity	to	add	some	suspense	to	the	picture	by	using	the	"	rival	car	thief	"	plot	line	.	as	it	stands	,	that	story	line	is	wrapped	up	about	halfway	through	the	film	in	a	tidy	little	package	.	but	if	i	was	making	this	film	,	i'd	have	had	the	rival	gang	trying	to	get	to	the	cars	before	memphis	and	his	crew	,	thereby	making	memphis	have	to	improvise	.	.	.	thereby	adding	some	meat	to	the	plot	.	the	finale	is	essentially	just	a	big	car	chase	,	and	there	just	aren't	ways	to	make	car	chases	interesting	anymore	.	it's	all	been	done	.	the	chase	is	also	shot	and	edited	in	that	"	jerry	bruckheimer	action	sequence	"	kind	of	way	that	leaves	the	audience	wondering	what	specifically	is	going	on	in	the	scene	.	sure	it's	a	car	chase	,	but	what	exactly	are	the	particulars	of	it	?	it's	very	hard	to	tell	.	finally	,	there's	a	stunt	during	this	scene	that	comes	close	to	challenging	the	"	bus	jumping	the	ramp	"	sequence	from	speed	in	the	"	oh	,	i	don't	think	so	.	.	.	"	department	.	despite	those	minor	complaints	,	gone	in	sixty	seconds	is	pure	summer	movie	entertainment	.	it's	not	thought	provoking	,	but	it's	shiny	,	loud	and	fun	.	.	.	just	what	a	summer	flick	should	be	.	pg	13	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	don't	want	to	see	john	waters'	pecker	than	check	out	john	carpenter's	thing	.	that	must	be	the	ultimate	control	issue	for	directors	,	making	others	ask	to	see	your	joystick	.	if	i	ever	make	a	film	i'm	sure	i'll	title	it	jason	overbeck's	third	leg	.	keeping	with	this	train	of	thought	did	you	know	roger	ebert	said	of	john	carpenter's	thing	,	that	"	teenagers	can	dare	one	another	to	watch	.	"	i'll	leave	that	one	alone	.	the	thing	is	a	very	effective	movie	,	with	scenes	of	shear	suspense	and	moments	of	terror	and	disgust	.	it	opened	in	1982	with	mixed	reviews	and	now	seems	to	be	a	minor	classic	.	people	will	always	remember	the	dogs	and	the	open	up	chest	and	that	blood	test	scene	.	they	are	perfectly	set	up	and	delivered	,	you	can	smile	at	the	nifty	special	effects	and	remember	the	good	ole	days	before	computer	effects	made	lazy	imaginations	.	would	any	studio	get	away	with	a	film	like	the	thing	now	?	hell	no	!	not	with	that	ending	,	those	violent	scenes	with	animals	and	the	general	yuck	feeling	.	the	story	has	a	group	of	scientists	in	isolated	antarctica	being	attacked	by	an	alien	that	kills	and	replaces	with	a	perfect	clone	.	who	is	and	isn't	infected	?	who	can	tell	,	the	isolation	has	drawn	strange	emotional	states	for	all	of	these	characters	.	leading	the	pack	is	pilot	(	and	antihero	)	macready	(	kurt	russell	)	in	a	wacky	cool	hat	and	a	full	beard	.	he	is	not	unaffected	by	the	isolation	,	he	drinks	too	much	and	plays	long	games	of	chess	on	his	computer	,	but	when	duty	calls	he	takes	command	of	the	questionable	group	.	guessing	who	is	and	isn't	the	thing	is	almost	impossible	,	everyone	seems	to	separate	from	each	other	and	then	look	spooky	.	the	result	leaves	you	on	the	edge	of	your	seat	as	they	try	to	unmask	the	alien	.	the	final	answer	leads	you	to	feel	that	the	screenwriter	could	have	just	picked	a	name	from	a	hat	.	that	doesn't	matter	much	because	this	film	is	all	execution	and	the	execution	is	slick	,	sick	and	a	little	gross	.	it	recalls	john	carpenter's	much	better	classic	halloween	.
pos	director	:	todd	haynes	writer	:	todd	haynes	(	story	by	james	lyons	and	haynes	)	starring	:	jonathan	rhys	meyers	,	ewan	mcgregor	,	toni	collette	,	christian	bale	,	eddie	izzard	,	emily	woof	,	michael	feast	it	may	seem	weird	to	begin	a	film	about	glam	rock	with	a	sequence	that	includes	a	spaceship	,	a	green	ovular	pin	,	and	the	birth	of	oscar	wilde	,	but	if	one	really	strains	,	they	can	see	that	perhaps	maybe	these	connections	are	not	half	off	.	wilde's	philosophy	was	that	everyone	should	be	true	to	their	own	human	nature	,	and	the	result	of	his	following	this	philosophy	was	that	he	was	imprisoned	,	loosing	his	family	and	his	career	.	the	glam	rock	movement	in	the	early	70s	in	england	had	a	similar	take	and	came	to	a	similar	demise	.	the	main	difference	was	by	placing	makeup	on	their	face	and	acting	out	on	their	deepest	fantasies	and	inquiries	about	life	(	mostly	dealing	with	androgony	and	sexuality	)	,	they	became	less	and	less	like	themselves	and	more	and	more	like	everyone	else	.	and	that's	why	the	movement	seemed	to	end	as	soon	as	it	began	.	it's	been	said	that	todd	haynes'	"	velvet	goldmine	,	"	the	film	that	chronicles	what	it	was	like	to	be	a	part	of	the	movement	,	not	only	from	those	who	experienced	it	but	by	those	who	created	it	,	steals	a	lot	from	"	citizen	kane	,	"	and	that's	true	.	in	the	film	,	a	british	journalist	in	the	80s	,	arthur	stuart	(	christian	bale	)	,	is	asked	to	go	back	and	find	out	what	happened	to	70s	glam	rock	star	brian	slade	,	a	fictitious	rock	star	,	who	faked	his	own	death	on	stage	,	bringing	the	end	not	only	to	his	career	but	to	the	entire	glam	rock	movement	.	structure	wise	,	this	totally	steals	from	"	kane	,	"	not	only	from	the	set	up	(	he	interviews	three	people	,	and	the	story	is	a	result	of	their	flashbacks	)	,	but	in	other	things	,	like	the	beginning	(	death	,	then	newsreel	)	,	and	smaller	details	,	like	the	bitter	ex	friend	in	a	wheelchair	and	the	bitter	ex	wife	as	a	washed	up	lounge	singer	,	found	in	a	bar	after	hours	.	this	is	no	"	kane	,	"	and	it	really	doesn't	aspire	to	be	:	it	doesn't	attempt	to	be	the	deep	outlook	of	something	gone	like	"	kane	"	did	,	and	it	doesn't	really	uncover	anything	poignant	about	humanity	.	instead	,	it	uses	the	flashbacks	as	a	form	of	contrast	between	the	magic	that	was	the	glam	rock	era	and	the	boredom	that	was	life	after	glam	rock	for	those	who	were	participants	.	the	80s	scenes	are	dry	and	deliriously	melancholy	,	equipped	with	a	performance	by	bale	that	is	perhaps	appropriately	dull	and	unengaging	.	but	the	70s	scenes	are	engaging	,	though	,	not	to	mention	addictively	campy	.	they	radiate	with	gorgeous	cinematography	that	nicely	accentuates	all	the	vibrant	colors	of	the	era	,	and	a	feel	that's	so	eerily	lighthearted	that	when	combined	with	the	then	footage	,	they	become	not	only	a	symbol	of	decadence	,	but	of	times	when	everything	seemed	so	simple	.	instead	of	creating	the	world	the	way	it	was	,	haynes	paints	their	own	world	as	if	it	were	a	narcotic	fairy	tale	:	the	glam	rock	movement	was	full	of	so	much	freedom	and	liberation	that	after	you've	experienced	it	,	everything	else	seems	so	mundane	.	there's	no	outside	world	to	speak	of	,	secluding	these	people	inside	a	protective	globe	that	will	eventually	crack	.	haynes	focuses	his	story	on	the	tale	of	blade	and	the	other	fictitious	rock	hero	,	curt	wild	,	and	their	relationship	that	created	,	molded	,	and	then	brought	down	the	movement	,	reducing	everyone	else	who	contributed	to	it	as	merely	that	contributors	.	blade	played	with	reserve	by	the	pouty	jonathan	rhys	meyers	and	wild	played	with	anarchic	wildness	by	ewan	mcgregor	are	little	more	than	thinly	disguised	recreations	of	david	bowie	and	iggy	pop	,	respectively	,	complete	with	the	creation	of	a	ziggy	stardust	persona	named	maxwell	demon	and	the	confirmation	that	the	two	rock	stars	may	have	very	well	not	only	have	been	one	time	partners	in	music	,	but	also	partners	in	bed	.	through	discussions	with	slade's	ex	manager	cecil	(	michael	feast	)	,	ex	wife	mandy	(	toni	collette	,	reinventing	herself	as	an	american	blonde	dish	who	fakes	a	british	accent	when	with	slade	)	,	and	finally	ex	partner	wild	,	journalist	stuart	begins	to	remember	his	own	experiences	in	the	era	,	like	his	discovery	of	his	rebelliousness	cum	conformity	,	including	the	moment	when	he	began	questioning	his	own	sexuality	(	when	he	opens	up	his	first	slade	record	,	he	finds	a	naked	and	green	slade	lying	on	a	crimson	blanket	)	,	and	finally	running	away	from	home	to	be	part	of	the	london	scene	,	finally	resulting	in	leading	a	boring	job	in	america	.	haynes	demonstrates	that	he's	quite	the	visual	auteur	,	molding	scenes	that	are	like	long	heald	breaths	,	such	as	a	seemingly	long	sequence	juxtaposing	a	slade	wild	concert	of	them	performing	a	brian	eno	cover	,	"	baby's	on	fire	,	"	with	scenes	from	a	decadent	drug	party	;	and	the	film's	most	wow	inspiring	sequence	,	the	first	concert	scene	of	wild	with	his	band	,	the	ratttz	,	where	mcgregor	lets	loose	so	much	anarchic	steam	that	his	wild	iggy	esuqe	movements	(	including	stripping	naked	)	and	screams	that	the	film	captures	that	perfect	moment	when	one	discovers	a	major	talent	,	and	another	(	slade	)	discovers	his	idle	.	even	the	brief	music	videos	,	spoofs	of	bowie's	,	have	a	rare	visual	flair	that's	pure	camp	,	and	which	would	cause	ken	russell	to	drool	.	the	best	sequence	,	though	,	may	be	the	beginning	,	following	the	prelude	,	a	sequence	which	acts	as	the	middle	ground	for	both	the	actual	being	of	the	movement	and	the	post	movement	era	.	in	it	,	stuart	and	his	mates	are	going	to	the	infamous	slade	concert	where	he	fakes	his	own	death	,	where	he	kills	off	his	alter	ego	maxwell	demon	in	what	appears	to	be	a	real	assasination	,	which	brought	about	the	end	of	the	era	in	one	swift	fake	bullet	.	with	brian	eno's	famous	"	needle	in	the	camel's	eye	"	playing	in	the	background	,	the	scene	has	a	detached	exhileration	the	song	doesn't	seem	to	be	played	in	quite	the	same	way	the	other	songs	are	.	it	has	a	distance	that's	hard	to	put	a	finger	on	,	and	it	seems	to	represent	that	all	this	is	coming	to	a	quick	and	sad	ending	,	and	when	one	sees	slade	in	the	dressing	room	before	the	show	,	docked	in	a	silver	frock	with	wings	and	blue	hair	,	depressingly	staring	into	the	mirror	,	it	comes	off	as	a	none	too	obvious	prophecy	of	the	finale	in	the	beginning	of	the	film	.	this	movie's	not	so	much	about	plot	,	but	more	about	the	way	it	is	presented	,	making	this	one	of	those	films	which	is	classified	as	being	"	style	over	substance	,	"	a	statement	which	prompts	many	critics	to	line	up	for	attack	.	however	,	for	the	most	part	,	the	engaging	part	of	this	film	is	not	the	story	but	rather	the	way	in	which	haynes	creates	this	world	,	by	using	his	sets	,	costumes	,	cinematography	,	and	especially	the	music	to	play	as	characters	in	his	film	.	the	music	is	especially	notable	.	the	soundtrack	,	which	is	wall	to	wall	,	consists	of	old	school	glam	rock	tunes	by	the	likes	of	brian	eno	,	t	rex	,	and	roxy	music	,	as	well	as	covers	by	slade's	band	(	with	vocals	by	thom	yorke	,	and	occasionally	rhys	meyers	himself	)	,	and	even	newer	music	by	shudder	to	think	that	sounds	uncannily	bowie	like	.	the	cast	is	rather	impressive	,	but	no	one	really	walks	away	with	the	film	,	and	no	performances	are	extremely	good	.	although	eddie	izzard	,	as	slade's	manager	(	who	challenges	slade's	first	manager	to	an	arm	wrestling	match	to	see	who	gets	control	of	his	career	)	and	michael	feast	as	the	first	and	tragic	manager	come	off	greatly	,	and	collette	and	mcgregor	have	their	moments	,	rhys	meyers	and	bale	are	noticably	sub	par	,	neither	putting	a	lot	of	effort	into	their	respective	roles	.	some	of	it	is	at	fault	with	the	actual	construction	of	the	film	by	haynes	.	rhys	meyers'	brian	slade	remains	merely	a	metaphor	for	the	glam	rock	era	,	dying	when	he	turned	into	a	retro	garbo	,	resorting	to	a	life	of	salinger	ism	,	and	found	in	the	mid	70s	to	be	lying	around	,	sniffing	coke	off	the	ass	of	a	party	girl	.	in	fact	,	no	one	in	this	film	is	really	seen	as	a	person	,	rather	than	just	as	a	symbol	or	composite	of	a	type	who	thrived	during	the	era	.	bale's	character	is	an	especially	tough	sell	:	bitter	and	depressed	by	flashbacks	to	his	young	adulthood	,	he's	not	an	extremely	personal	character	,	and	his	cliched	experiences	(	being	hounded	by	the	record	store	guys	for	buying	a	record	put	out	by	a	"	poof	"	)	never	help	us	communicate	with	him	.	nevertheless	,	rhys	meyers	and	mcgregor	have	the	excuses	that	their	characters	are	not	really	characters	but	rather	the	results	of	an	era	that	has	left	them	,	and	others	,	bitter	,	part	of	which	helps	the	film	work	,	since	this	is	a	major	piece	of	eye	candy	.	at	the	prime	of	the	movie	,	they	at	least	look	the	role	of	fashionable	leaders	slade	with	his	perpetually	changing	,	androgonys	persona	,	and	wild	with	his	topless	and	unpredictable	image	,	which	clash	and	fuse	into	an	unstable	union	.	their	story	of	how	slade	was	so	influenced	by	wild	that	he	adapted	it	into	a	similar	who	cares	attitude	crossed	with	camp	is	engaging	,	without	the	personal	background	.	the	story	of	stuart	,	though	,	is	a	tougher	sell	because	he's	the	everyman	,	and	when	you	can't	totally	identify	with	the	everyman	,	your	story's	in	slight	trouble	.	as	a	cultural	rock	piece	,	"	velvet	goldmine	"	is	rather	good	,	but	it	is	merely	good	.	it	never	totally	takes	off	,	although	it	has	moments	where	it	absolutely	flies	,	but	then	comes	back	down	.	it's	really	nothing	more	than	a	bunch	of	really	great	moments	,	surrounded	by	material	that	could	really	be	much	better	.	the	beginning	is	captivating	but	slow	,	the	middle	is	fantastic	,	and	the	ending	is	not	only	shallow	but	worse	than	that	,	it	drags	(	the	final	half	hour	not	only	does	it	not	bring	the	story	to	any	real	conclusion	,	it	could	probably	stop	at	any	point	)	.	and	did	anyone	really	figure	out	what	the	mystery	is	that	arthur	unearths	?	it	almost	seems	like	there	was	no	point	in	the	entire	investigation	other	than	to	unearth	the	past	,	which	is	commendable	but	not	totally	so	.	still	,	it	does	what	the	oliver	stone	pic	"	the	doors	"	didn't	do	right	,	becoming	very	insightful	to	what	happened	,	using	the	visual	style	to	hit	most	of	the	right	notes	of	contrast	between	what	made	the	era	so	great	to	those	who	lived	during	it	and	why	after	living	through	such	an	era	that	everything	else	seems	half	assed	(	i	suppose	the	message	is	:	"	live	life	,	but	after	you've	lived	it	,	what	else	is	the	point	when	you'll	be	forced	to	live	with	regretful	memories	?	"	)	.	the	really	superb	achievement	of	this	film	is	that	during	its	flashbacks	,	it	successfully	creates	for	the	audience	what	it	must	have	felt	like	to	be	in	that	era	,	but	with	the	added	perk	of	knowing	the	result	of	all	that	goes	down	.
pos	in	1994	,	an	insider's	look	at	a	scandal	ridden	run	for	the	democratic	presidential	nomination	(	closely	based	on	clinton's	1992	campaign	)	was	written	anonymously	(	former	newsweek	writer	joe	klein	later	claimed	true	authorship	)	.	now	,	the	book	,	primary	colors	,	has	been	made	into	a	movie	,	directed	by	mike	nichols	,	and	,	in	light	of	recent	presidential	scandals	,	seems	to	be	more	relevant	than	ever	.	but	the	film	is	more	than	a	diatribe	against	,	or	a	paean	in	praise	of	,	the	president	.	it	is	a	fascinating	look	at	the	political	machinery	,	and	the	ethical	quagmire	,	that	surround	modern	politics	.	jack	stanton	(	john	travolta	)	is	the	governor	of	a	small	southern	state	running	for	the	democratic	presidential	nomination	.	he	is	charismatic	,	but	has	several	flaws	which	threaten	to	doom	his	campaign	,	and	strains	his	relationship	with	his	wife	,	susan	(	emma	thompson	)	.	the	film	is	told	from	the	point	of	view	of	henry	burton	(	adrian	lester	)	,	grandson	of	a	civil	rights	leader	,	who	is	swept	away	by	stanton's	ideals	and	helps	to	organize	the	campaign	.	he	joins	political	strategist	richard	jemmons	(	billy	bob	thornton	,	looking	an	awful	lot	like	james	carville	)	,	and	campaign	advisor	daisy	green	(	maura	tierney	)	.	governor	stanton's	past	repeatedly	pops	up	to	haunt	him	,	a	fact	that	his	chief	rival	,	lawrence	harris	(	kevin	cooney	)	,	consistently	uses	to	his	advantage	.	to	help	clean	up	the	stanton	campaign	,	jack	and	susan	bring	in	an	old	friend	,	libby	"	the	dustbuster	"	holden	(	kathy	bates	)	.	the	acting	throughout	primary	colors	is	superb	.	it	would	be	worth	seeing	the	movie	for	bates'	wild	performance	alone	.	she	enlivens	the	atmosphere	with	energy	in	a	truly	boisterous	performance	.	travolta	does	a	fair	clinton	impersonation	as	governor	stanton	,	although	his	accent	does	stray	a	little	.	emma	thompson	delivers	a	strong	performance	as	his	suffering	wife	who	can't	let	anything	show	that	might	hurt	the	presidential	run	.	the	problem	with	political	movies	is	that	they	tend	to	alienate	over	half	of	their	audience	by	promoting	one	side	or	the	other	,	or	else	the	movie	is	vague	to	the	point	of	boredom	.	primary	colors	treads	lightly	on	this	issue	.	though	stanton	is	clearly	portrayed	as	a	democrat	,	and	there	are	a	few	minor	barbs	thrown	in	the	way	of	republicans	,	the	movie	touches	on	few	actual	political	issues	.	in	fact	,	most	of	the	"	bad	guys	"	are	fellow	democrats	on	the	same	road	to	the	white	house	.	rather	than	issues	,	the	film	is	primarily	concerned	about	scandals	and	spin	control	.	although	the	film	strays	into	some	obviously	non	clinton	territory	,	it	is	difficult	to	completely	separate	it	from	reality	(	particularly	when	certain	scenes	seem	to	highlight	the	president's	current	troubles	)	.	primary	colors'	chief	problem	is	its	length	.	it	runs	about	15	minutes	too	long	.	there	are	some	scenes	which	could	have	easily	been	cut	.	for	example	,	midway	through	the	film	,	the	candidate	gives	a	speech	to	an	assembly	of	laid	off	machinists	.	the	scene's	only	apparent	purpose	is	to	establish	stanton's	character	,	which	has	already	been	done	in	similar	scenes	earlier	in	the	film	.	the	extra	length	isn't	long	enough	nor	tiring	enough	to	be	annoying	,	but	it	mars	an	otherwise	excellent	film	.	republicans	,	democrats	,	and	political	agnostics	should	all	be	able	to	find	something	to	like	in	primary	colors	.	it's	a	funny	,	and	at	some	times	shocking	,	look	at	the	modern	political	process	.
pos	directed	by	tony	kaye	.	written	by	david	mckenna	.	running	time	:	117	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	graphic	brutal	violence	including	rape	,	pervasive	language	,	strong	sexuality	and	nudity	)	.	racism	is	a	horrible	thing	that	has	not	been	really	put	to	film	much	.	a	few	films	stick	in	my	mind	as	anti	racist	but	most	films	that	stand	up	for	other	religions	.	schindler's	list	was	the	last	great	anti	racism	film	.	american	history	x	is	the	newest	.	derek	vinyard	has	had	a	tormented	life	.	his	father	was	murdered	while	he	was	a	teenager	and	derek's	life	changed	completely	.	he	became	the	leader	of	a	nazi	group	in	venice	beach	,	california	.	after	a	horrible	crime	is	committed	derek	is	sent	to	prison	.	he	leaves	with	him	his	mother	doris	(	beverly	d'angelo	)	,	his	sister	davina	(	jennifer	lien	)	,	and	his	younger	brother	danny	(	edward	furlong	)	years	later	when	derek	is	let	out	of	prison	he	comes	to	see	a	shaved	head	nazi	danny	.	derek	has	been	reformed	the	hardness	of	prison	and	he	is	shocked	at	how	evil	danny	has	become	.	he	tries	desparately	to	change	his	younger	brother	.	he	shocks	his	former	friends	with	his	reformed	self	and	this	sets	off	a	night	long	adventure	of	running	and	trying	to	set	things	right	.	edward	norton	gives	the	performance	of	his	career	as	derek	.	flashback	scenes	show	him	musclebound	,	which	is	not	like	his	tall	and	skinny	self	,	which	norton	pulls	off	the	know	how	many	veteran	actors	don't	reach	.	he	conveys	the	evil	that	is	rippling	in	every	tattooed	muscle	in	flashbacks	and	a	older	brother	approach	for	his	present	day	scenes	out	of	prison	.	edward	furlong	also	does	a	great	job	as	danny	who	is	titering	between	good	and	evil	when	derek	gets	out	of	prison	.	he	still	looks	as	he	did	in	his	debut	terminator	2	:	judgement	day	but	he	can	act	a	lot	more	now	.	director	tony	kaye	,	who's	only	past	credits	were	commericals	,	was	not	happy	with	the	final	print	.	he	claims	edward	norton	took	over	the	film	and	made	a	lot	of	cuts	.	if	he	did	than	he	should	be	actor	and	editor	for	the	next	movie	.	kaye	is	very	good	in	his	debut	doing	both	directing	and	cinematographing	.	i	don't	know	how	much	was	kaye's	original	product	but	maybe	we	will	see	his	cut	on	dvd	as	a	director's	cut	in	the	future	.	the	current	cut	is	good	enough	for	me	though	.	this	film	is	brutal	.	the	nazi	scenes	are	violent	,	bloody	,	and	hateful	as	are	the	prison	scenes	.	the	flashbacks	of	derek's	past	in	prison	and	as	leader	of	the	venice	beach	groups	are	all	filmed	in	black	and	white	much	like	schindler's	list	.	i'm	not	exactly	sure	why	kaye	decided	to	film	the	flashbacks	like	this	but	it	doesn't	effect	the	flow	of	the	movie	.	some	complaints	i've	heard	about	this	film	are	mostly	script	related	.	i	can't	find	anything	wrong	with	david	mckenna's	script	.	my	only	complaint	is	that	the	film	is	awfully	short	.	this	lessens	the	epic	or	classic	feeling	a	film	like	this	usually	has	.	that's	a	very	small	complaint	though	and	doesn't	change	my	rating	much	.	i've	heard	a	lot	of	horrible	racist	stories	in	my	life	.	thank	god	i've	never	had	to	experience	any	though	.	i	grew	up	hearing	stories	about	how	my	ancestors	who	lived	along	the	civil	war	times	and	as	recently	as	their	teens	in	the	1950s	and	1960s	.	the	stories	are	sickening	and	shock	you	into	not	creating	stories	of	your	own	.	american	history	x	feels	just	like	one	of	these	stories	only	we	actually	get	to	see	the	carnage	.	doug	galecawitz	from	darien	,	illinois	wrote	into	the	internet	movie	database	(	www	.	imdb	.	com	)	and	posted	a	review	to	this	film	.	he	typed	in	it	that	he	saw	american	history	x	with	his	friend	who	had	been	a	nazi	and	a	raccist	before	.	doug	says	his	friend	hung	his	head	in	shame	while	walking	out	of	this	movie	.	this	film	will	scare	both	current	nazis	and	people	who	want	to	be	nazis	into	a	life	of	happiness	.	this	is	the	kind	of	film	that	should	be	mandatory	viewing	for	high	schoolers	.	no	school	violence	or	discrimination	would	be	fantastic	.
pos	finally	.	we	always	knew	robert	rodriguez	had	talent	as	a	filmmaker	.	we	were	just	waiting	for	someone	to	put	a	good	script	in	his	hands	,	and	kevin	williamson	has	done	that	here	.	do	not	be	fooled	by	the	woefully	bad	trailers	,	or	by	the	fact	that	critics	have	roundly	panned	this	horror	film	.	the	faculty	is	easily	the	best	of	the	genre	to	come	along	since	williamson's	breakout	hit	,	scream	.	it	is	also	the	first	watchable	film	rodriguez	has	put	up	since	storming	onto	the	scene	with	el	mariachi	.	easily	the	biggest	problem	with	this	movie	is	in	the	marketing	.	i	can	only	imagine	how	pissed	off	williamson	,	rodriguez	,	and	everyone	else	involved	in	the	movie	must	have	been	to	see	the	film	marketed	as	just	another	schlocky	entry	into	the	horror	genre	,	which	generally	takes	the	words	aliens	;	teenagers	;	battle	;	suspicious	;	killer	;	small	town	;	etc	.	and	jumble	them	up	to	come	up	with	a	concept	(	to	wit	,	this	time	:	suspicious	small	town	teenagers	battle	killer	aliens	)	.	now	if	you	are	already	a	big	80's	horror	fan	,	just	skip	this	review	,	because	you	already	saw	the	movie	,	but	this	review	is	for	people	who	are	highly	suspicious	of	shelling	out	eight	bucks	to	see	a	horror	flick	.	the	only	reason	i	actually	saw	the	faculty	was	because	my	little	sister	begged	me	to	.	but	now	i'm	trying	to	convince	you	to	.	actually	,	the	faculty	is	just	as	witty	as	scream	,	slightly	less	original	,	but	makes	up	with	it	by	acknowledging	its	status	as	essentially	an	update	of	donald	siegel's	1956	classic	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	,	one	of	the	most	frightening	movies	ever	made	,	before	hollywood	began	trying	to	make	you	jump	in	your	seat	rather	than	truly	fear	the	end	of	the	world	.	granted	,	with	robert	rodriguez	and	his	frenetic	camera	involved	,	this	update	heightens	the	sense	of	urgency	and	makes	you	hop	up	a	time	or	two	.	but	,	unlike	his	substance	lite	stylizations	in	desperado	and	from	dusk	till	dawn	,	rodriguez	manages	to	hold	onto	the	wit	and	character	of	williamson's	script	and	fashion	a	film	that	not	only	gets	your	heart	racing	,	but	also	manages	enough	intelligence	to	force	you	to	suspend	your	disbelief	.	to	top	it	all	off	,	the	faculty	throws	in	some	good	breakfast	club	social	commentary	about	high	school	social	hierarchy	,	and	examines	the	lasting	effects	of	a	surreal	experience	on	such	an	ingrained	social	order	.	granted	,	the	faculty's	not	schindler's	list	,	but	if	you	give	it	a	chance	it	will	make	you	think	a	little	bit	.	which	is	a	good	thing	.
pos	capsule	:	this	is	a	1950s	or	1960s	style	heist	film	,	set	in	the	present	.	robert	deniro	stars	as	a	risk	adverse	safecracker	who	wants	to	retire	form	crime	but	takes	one	last	job	at	the	request	of	a	personal	friend	(	played	by	marlon	brando	)	.	edward	norton	plays	a	hotshot	young	sharpster	who	is	also	in	on	the	crime	.	the	plot	is	mostly	straightforward	suspense	with	little	nonsense	.	rating	:	7	(	0	to	10	)	,	2	(	4	to	4	)	i	am	sure	i	must	have	seen	almost	the	identical	plot	before	.	this	is	a	heist	film	made	for	an	adult	audience	who	probably	wanted	a	crime	film	like	they	had	seen	in	theaters	when	they	were	teens	.	there	are	no	superhuman	acrobats	taking	nosedives	off	of	buildings	like	in	entrapment	.	there	is	no	rock	score	.	there	are	no	ballet	like	martial	arts	.	this	is	just	a	basic	heist	film	with	a	decent	and	distinctly	credible	and	un	flashy	script	.	nick	(	played	by	robert	deniro	)	is	a	safecracker	who	has	managed	to	be	successful	by	never	taking	risks	.	if	a	job	is	not	a	safe	bet	(	pun	intended	)	,	he	backs	out	.	sometimes	even	the	safe	bets	turn	out	not	to	be	so	safe	.	when	one	job	very	nearly	goes	wrong	nick	is	unnerved	enough	to	decide	that	it	is	nature	telling	him	that	it	is	time	to	get	out	of	the	game	.	he	returns	to	his	home	in	montreal	where	he	owns	a	jazz	club	,	and	decides	to	manage	it	full	time	.	he	proposes	to	his	girl	friend	diane	(	angela	bassett	)	.	she	has	one	condition	.	he	must	stay	retired	from	crime	.	but	before	the	deal	can	be	cemented	,	max	,	a	montreal	kingpin	and	personal	friend	,	has	one	last	supposedly	easy	job	for	nick	.	nick	wants	no	part	particularly	because	the	heist	will	be	right	in	his	hometown	of	montreal	.	more	and	more	details	seem	to	complicate	the	job	.	nick's	partner	in	the	crime	is	to	be	a	smart	,	but	uncontrollable	young	crook	,	jack	(	edward	norton	)	.	jack	treats	a	locked	front	door	like	a	welcome	mat	,	even	at	his	associates'	homes	.	the	young	crook	is	a	know	it	all	who	seems	good	at	everything	he	does	but	at	avoiding	rubbing	people	the	wrong	way	.	together	they	plan	to	steal	a	priceless	historic	artifact	from	the	montreal	customs	house	.	the	script	by	kario	salem	,	lem	dobbs	,	and	scott	marshall	smith	works	like	an	episode	of	the	old	"	mission	impossible	"	television	series	.	we	see	pieces	of	the	heist	being	put	together	,	last	minute	changes	,	and	things	that	go	wrong	,	much	like	a	good	episode	of	"	mission	impossible	.	"	this	team	might	not	be	bad	choices	to	write	scripts	for	the	tom	cruise	"	mission	impossible	"	films	.	the	complications	are	,	however	no	more	and	no	fewer	than	are	needed	to	make	the	story	believable	.	the	telling	is	cold	and	noirish	,	which	is	just	what	it	is	supposed	to	be	.	director	frank	oz	,	the	voices	of	yoda	and	miss	piggy	proves	surprisingly	good	at	directing	a	serious	crime	film	.	the	score	has	a	more	than	adequate	cast	with	little	flashy	or	scene	stealing	acting	.	edward	norton	probably	has	the	flashiest	role	and	even	that	is	low	key	by	today's	standards	.	he	plays	what	is	nearly	a	double	role	.	jack	pretends	to	be	a	brain	damage	victim	to	be	hired	for	a	job	in	the	customs	house	.	one	nice	(	?	)	character	i	have	not	mentioned	is	stephen	(	jamie	harrold	)	.	stephen	is	a	master	hacker	who	lives	in	his	mother's	basement	in	a	house	with	a	lot	of	screaming	in	both	directions	.	he	seems	like	the	last	person	the	risk	adverse	nick	would	want	to	depend	upon	.	the	film	itself	remains	low	key	up	until	the	time	of	the	climactic	heist	.	then	the	pace	really	picks	up	.	before	that	the	plot	even	stops	twice	for	jazz	interludes	.	though	oz	never	lets	the	music	steal	time	from	the	story	the	way	woody	allen	does	in	sweet	and	lowdown	.	on	the	subject	of	music	,	the	score	of	the	score	is	by	howard	shore	.	it	adds	tension	to	the	suspense	scenes	,	but	never	seems	to	have	much	of	a	melody	.	angela	bassett	is	the	one	misused	celebrity	in	a	totally	minor	role	that	should	have	been	played	by	a	less	famous	actress	who	needed	a	break	.	she	has	nothing	to	do	in	the	film	but	demand	that	nick	give	up	crime	and	to	look	like	an	attractive	reward	if	he	does	.	speaking	of	being	attractive	the	score	seems	to	be	attracting	an	older	audience	who	learned	to	appreciate	much	the	same	sort	of	film	in	the	1950s	and	1960s	.	it	does	the	job	.	i	rate	it	a	7	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	2	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
pos	in	these	days	of	overlong	movies	(	meet	joe	black	,	the	thin	red	line	,	the	mask	of	zorro	)	it	is	a	shame	that	films	like	waking	ned	devine	can't	be	longer	than	a	paltry	90	minutes	.	this	is	just	a	cute	movie	,	even	through	its	mildly	risque	subject	matter	.	old	friends	jackie	(	bannen	)	and	michael	(	kelley	)	try	to	find	the	lottery	winner	(	they	deduce	must	live	in	their	dinky	town	of	about	60	)	so	that	they	might	kiss	up	to	him	and	share	the	winnings	.	through	process	of	elimination	,	they	find	that	it	must	be	lovable	old	ned	devine	,	who	they	find	sitting	in	front	of	his	tv	,	clutching	the	winning	lottery	ticket	in	his	cold	dead	hand	.	what	results	is	thuroughly	amusing	,	as	jackie	tries	to	convince	his	wife	that	not	claiming	it	would	be	wrong	,	and	that	they	could	really	benefit	.	after	all	,	old	ned	won't	miss	it	.	rather	than	divulge	the	later	twists	and	turns	,	i'll	stop	here	merely	pointing	out	that	jackie	and	michael	get	into	all	sorts	of	trouble	in	their	little	sleepy	irish	villiage	.	bannen	and	kelly	are	a	perfect	pair	.	one	slightly	stout	,	the	other	as	thin	as	a	rail	.	both	getting	on	in	years	,	they	make	such	a	cute	pair	of	old	codgers	.	waking	ned	devine	may	even	be	seen	as	a	"	full	monty	"	for	the	geriatric	set	,	especially	since	kelly	gets	buff	o	for	one	amusing	scene	.	waking	ned	devine	is	by	no	means	perfect	,	but	it	is	so	sincere	and	touching	that	it	looks	so	much	better	than	most	films	.	the	performances	by	everyone	in	the	town	are	great	,	particularly	the	two	leads	.	there	is	one	twist	at	the	end	which	i	find	unnecessary	,	but	it	hardly	ruins	the	picture	.	writer	director	kirk	jones	should	be	held	up	as	an	example	to	all	those	hollywood	screenwriters	.	scripts	as	creative	and	endearing	as	this	should	be	the	norm	,	not	the	exception	.	perhaps	it	makes	us	appreciate	this	wonderful	film	even	more	.	had	i	held	off	on	my	year's	best	worst	list	for	another	day	,	waking	ned	devine	(	officially	released	in	late	november	of	98	)	surely	would	have	graced	the	short	group	of	the	year's	finest	films	.	it	is	light	,	but	thought	provoking	and	sweet	.	i	can't	think	of	anyone	who	shouldn't	see	(	or	wouldn't	enjoy	)	this	film	.
pos	director	:	robert	altman	screenplay	:	robert	altman	(	based	on	an	original	story	by	john	grisham	)	stars	:	kenneth	branagh	(	rick	magruder	)	,	embeth	davidtz	(	mallory	doss	)	,	robert	downey	jr	.	(	clyde	pell	)	,	daryl	hannah	(	lois	harlan	)	,	robert	duvall	(	dixon	doss	)	,	tom	berenger	(	pete	randle	)	,	famke	janssen	(	leeanne	)	,	jesse	james	(	jeff	)	,	mae	whitman	(	libby	)	mpaa	rating	:	r	hr	whenever	writer	director	robert	altman	works	in	a	specific	genre	,	he	has	the	tendency	to	rewrite	it	on	his	own	terms	.	he	made	the	west	dirty	in	"	mccabe	and	mrs	.	miller	"	(	1971	)	,	he	parodied	hard	boiled	detective	stories	in	"	the	long	goodbye	"	(	1973	)	,	and	he	transformed	a	cartoon	into	flesh	and	blood	with	"	popeye	"	(	1980	)	.	the	same	holds	true	for	his	most	recent	film	,	"	the	gingerbread	man	,	"	which	reinvents	a	genre	that	has	developed	at	an	exponential	rate	over	the	last	five	years	:	the	john	grisham	movie	.	by	the	time	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	was	completed	,	there	was	very	little	evidence	that	it	was	ever	based	on	a	story	by	grisham	.	there's	no	idealist	young	lawyer	ala	tom	cruise	,	matthew	mcconaughey	,	chris	o'donnell	or	matt	damon	,	and	it	doesn't	feature	a	great	showdown	in	a	courtroom	.	instead	of	being	a	grand	ode	to	the	powers	of	the	legal	profession	,	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	is	a	rain	soaked	,	southern	gothic	noir	thriller	with	wildly	eccentric	characters	,	a	twisting	plot	line	,	black	humor	,	a	somewhat	bleak	ending	,	and	even	altman's	trademark	full	frontal	female	nudity	.	the	central	character	of	the	film	is	rick	magruder	,	who	is	unlike	any	of	grisham's	other	lawyer	heroes	.	he	is	older	,	experienced	,	and	rich	;	he	drives	a	cherry	red	80	,	000	mercedes	that	never	gets	dirty	,	even	in	the	incessantly	pouring	rain	of	savannah	,	georgia	,	where	the	story	unfolds	.	rick	is	in	the	midst	of	an	ugly	divorce	with	his	wife	,	leeanne	(	famke	janssen	)	,	and	he	rarely	gets	to	see	his	two	children	,	jeff	(	jesse	james	)	and	libby	(	mae	whitman	)	.	a	reason	is	never	given	for	the	divorce	,	but	it	isn't	hard	to	surmise	that	rick's	womanizing	had	a	large	part	in	it	.	whenever	he's	late	to	pick	up	the	kids	on	his	visitation	days	,	leeanne	always	assumes	it's	because	he's	been	"	screwing	around	.	"	after	an	office	party	celebrating	another	of	his	court	victories	(	he	hasn't	lost	in	eight	years	)	,	rick	becomes	involved	with	mallory	doss	(	embeth	davidtz	)	,	one	of	the	catering	waitresses	.	he	drives	her	home	because	her	car	has	been	stolen	,	and	they	end	up	in	bed	together	.	rick	finds	out	that	mallory	is	being	terrorized	and	stalked	by	her	slightly	psychotic	father	,	dixon	doss	(	robert	duvall	)	,	a	grungy	,	stringy	,	bare	footed	old	man	who	leads	a	commune	of	other	greasy	old	codgers	.	it	was	actually	dixon	who	stole	her	car	that	night	,	and	when	rick	asks	why	,	mallory	replies	that	he	always	does	"	weird	"	stuff	like	that	.	as	another	character	puts	it	,	dixon	is	"	a	few	beers	short	of	six	pack	.	"	rick	ends	up	convincing	mallory	to	have	dixon	brought	to	court	and	tried	for	competency	.	he	succeeds	with	information	dug	up	by	clyde	pell	,	a	private	investigator	friend	(	robert	downey	jr	.	)	,	and	testimony	from	mallory's	begrudging	ex	husband	,	pete	randle	(	tom	berenger	)	.	dixon	is	put	in	a	mental	hospital	,	but	his	commune	buddies	succeed	in	breaking	him	out	.	from	there	,	the	story	delves	into	kidnapping	,	murder	,	double	crossing	,	and	even	a	hurricane	that	adds	an	ominous	cloud	of	constant	violence	to	the	action	.	altman's	cinematographer	,	changwei	gu	,	gives	the	film	a	dark	,	soaked	look	.	if	it	isn't	night	time	,	at	least	it's	raining	.	gu	shoots	the	interiors	,	which	are	almost	all	dark	wood	paneling	,	with	a	minimum	of	light	.	a	great	deal	of	the	action	takes	place	in	the	leafy	georgia	backwoods	,	which	altman	uses	to	create	an	acute	sense	of	dread	and	vulnerability	.	in	the	city	there	is	danger	enough	,	but	when	rick	has	to	venture	into	the	woods	,	you	can	almost	feel	him	leaving	all	hope	of	civilization	behind	as	he	literally	enters	another	world	.	altman	has	worked	in	just	about	every	conceivable	genre	,	from	westerns	to	epic	dramas	to	comedies	.	but	,	no	matter	what	the	genre	,	he	is	always	sure	to	give	it	the	altman	stamp	,	which	usually	consists	of	all	kinds	of	idiosyncratic	quirks	and	little	details	that	are	often	missed	without	repeat	viewings	.	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	is	no	different	,	although	his	style	is	much	more	restrained	here	.	however	,	without	those	little	touches	,	the	film	could	have	easily	slumped	into	a	routine	action	thriller	.	a	great	deal	of	the	credit	for	the	film's	success	can	be	given	to	the	actors	,	especially	branagh	,	who	rarely	works	outside	of	period	pieces	and	his	own	direction	.	here	,	the	british	actor	consistently	maintains	a	serviceable	southern	drawl	,	while	making	an	essentially	contemptible	character	interesting	and	sympathetic	.	rick	is	an	extremely	flawed	man	,	but	branaugh	brings	real	humanity	to	his	character	.	without	it	,	the	entire	film	would	fall	flat	because	so	much	of	it	is	reliant	on	the	audience	feeling	rick's	pain	and	frustration	.	the	supporting	actors	also	put	in	fine	performances	,	including	embeth	davidtz	,	who	is	probably	best	known	for	her	heart	breaking	role	as	the	jewish	maid	in	"	schindler's	list	"	(	1993	)	.	tom	berenger	provides	some	gruff	comic	relief	,	and	robert	duvall	spends	most	of	his	on	screen	time	just	looking	weird	.	it	doesn't	seem	like	he	does	much	because	he	has	very	little	spoken	dialogue	,	but	watch	him	closely	during	the	film's	one	courtroom	scene	:	his	entire	performance	is	in	his	eyes	and	his	body	language	,	and	few	actors	could	have	pulled	it	off	without	being	either	silly	or	overbearing	.	while	"	the	gingerbread	man	"	isn't	in	league	with	altman's	greatest	works	like	"	nashville	"	(	1975	)	or	"	the	player	"	(	1992	)	,	it	is	nonetheless	a	solid	piece	of	genre	filmmaking	,	which	may	prove	a	successful	vehicle	to	restart	his	somewhat	lagging	career	.	some	critics	love	to	stamp	films	like	this	as	"	commercial	,	"	as	if	altman	can	only	maintain	artistic	integrity	if	his	films	are	aimed	at	a	tiny	audience	and	don't	make	money	.	altman	has	done	something	much	better	:	he	took	what	could	have	been	a	generic	movie	,	and	by	investing	artistry	and	effort	,	he	made	it	into	something	more	.
pos	sometimes	a	movie	comes	along	that	falls	somewhat	askew	of	the	rest	.	some	people	call	it	"	original	"	or	"	artsy	"	or	"	abstract	"	.	some	people	simply	call	it	"	trash	"	.	a	life	less	ordinary	is	sure	to	bring	about	mixed	feelings	.	definitely	a	generation	x	aimed	movie	,	a	life	less	ordinary	has	everything	from	claymation	to	profane	angels	to	a	karaoke	based	musical	dream	sequence	.	whew	!	anyone	in	their	30's	or	above	is	probably	not	going	to	grasp	what	can	be	enjoyed	about	this	film	.	it's	somewhat	silly	,	it's	somewhat	outrageous	,	and	it's	definitely	not	your	typical	romance	story	,	but	for	the	right	audience	,	it	works	.	a	lot	of	hype	has	been	surrounding	this	film	due	to	the	fact	that	it	comes	to	us	from	the	same	team	that	brought	us	trainspotting	.	well	sorry	folks	,	but	i	haven't	seen	trainspotting	so	i	can't	really	compare	.	whether	that	works	in	this	film's	favor	or	not	is	beyond	me	.	but	i	do	know	this	:	ewan	mcgregor	,	whom	i	had	never	had	the	pleasure	of	watching	,	definitely	charmed	me	.	he	was	great	!	cameron	diaz's	character	was	uneven	and	a	bit	hard	to	grasp	.	the	audience	may	find	it	difficult	to	care	about	her	,	thus	discouraging	the	hopes	of	seeing	her	unite	with	mcgregor	after	we	are	immediately	sucked	into	caring	about	and	identifying	with	him	.	misguided	?	you	bet	.	loveable	?	you	bet	.	a	life	less	ordinary	was	a	delight	and	even	had	a	bonus	for	me	when	i	realized	it	was	filmed	in	my	hometown	of	salt	lake	city	,	utah	.	this	was	just	one	more	thing	i	didn't	know	about	this	movie	when	i	sat	down	with	a	five	dollar	order	of	nachos	and	a	three	dollar	coke	.	maybe	not	knowing	the	premise	behind	this	film	made	for	a	pleasant	surprise	,	but	i	think	even	if	i	had	known	,	i	would	have	been	just	as	happy	.	a	life	less	ordinary	is	quirky	,	eccentric	,	and	downright	charming	!	not	for	everyone	,	but	a	definite	change	of	pace	for	your	typical	night	at	the	movies	.
pos	glory	starring	matthew	broderick	,	denzel	washington	,	and	morgan	freeman	is	the	true	story	of	the	54th	regiment	of	massachusetts	,	the	first	black	fighting	unit	recruited	by	the	north	during	the	civil	war	.	broderick	plays	robert	gould	shaw	,	the	young	white	officer	who	led	the	black	soldiers	into	battle	.	shaw	,	the	son	of	well	to	do	abolitionists	,	hailed	from	boston	high	society	.	the	letters	he	wrote	home	to	his	parents	during	the	war	are	on	display	at	harvard	,	and	were	,	evidently	,	the	inspiration	for	glory	.	as	the	film	begins	in	1862	,	shaw	is	a	captain	in	the	northern	forces	.	like	private	eriksson	(	michael	j	.	fox	)	in	casualties	of	war	,	shaw	initially	is	naive	and	idealistic	about	the	war	that	is	,	until	his	company	is	attacked	by	enemy	forces	.	shaw	experiences	first	hand	the	horror	and	chaos	of	battle	,	witnessing	mass	slaughter	and	receiving	a	minor	wound	himself	when	a	bullet	grazes	his	neck	.	soon	after	his	recovery	,	shaw	is	promoted	to	colonel	and	assigned	to	enlist	and	train	blacks	in	the	war	effort	.	glory	is	the	story	not	only	of	colonel	shaw	,	but	also	of	the	black	soldiers	who	laid	down	their	lives	to	free	their	brothers	from	slavery	.	the	film	periodically	jumps	between	shaw's	point	of	view	and	the	perspective	of	the	black	soldiers	.	the	movie	introduces	us	to	a	handful	of	black	recruits	,	and	we	follow	them	from	their	enlistment	through	basic	training	and	finally	into	action	.	the	large	black	cast	is	uniformly	outstanding	,	especially	washington	who	is	electrifying	as	a	runaway	slave	with	a	big	mouth	.	he	is	brash	and	pushy	,	always	getting	into	trouble	and	always	looking	for	a	fight	.	his	bitter	,	tough	guy	facade	is	really	just	a	mask	for	his	loneliness	and	vulnerability	.	washington	provides	much	of	the	film's	intensity	and	emotional	power	.	in	one	heartbreaking	scene	,	he	is	whipped	for	allegedly	deserting	the	army	.	when	he	removes	his	shirt	to	receive	the	punishment	,	you	cringe	at	the	sight	of	his	back	,	which	is	riddled	with	ugly	scars	from	his	days	as	a	slave	.	it	makes	your	blood	boil	.	the	humiliation	of	the	beating	is	far	more	traumatic	than	the	actual	physical	pain	it	brings	;	a	tear	rolls	down	washington's	cheek	and	will	probably	run	down	your	cheek	as	well	.	the	episode	becomes	even	more	tragic	when	we	learn	that	washington	wasn't	deserting	the	army	at	all	;	he	left	camp	to	look	for	shoes	because	his	feet	were	covered	with	oozing	sores	.	freeman	is	,	as	usual	,	a	strong	presence	,	even	in	a	small	supporting	role	.	he	plays	a	grave	digger	who	has	buried	more	white	soldiers	than	he	cares	to	remember	.	he	quickly	becomes	a	leader	among	the	black	soldiers	,	holding	the	group	together	and	serving	as	a	liaison	to	the	white	officers	.	colonel	shaw	recognizes	freeman's	leadership	ability	and	promotes	him	to	sergeant	major	,	making	him	the	first	black	officer	in	the	army	.	andre	braugher	makes	an	impressive	film	debut	in	the	role	of	thomas	searles	,	a	free	black	who	is	one	of	shaw's	close	childhood	friends	.	searles	is	educated	and	refined	,	like	a	white	man	,	prompting	washington	to	nickname	him	"	snow	flake	.	"	the	burning	question	is	whether	searles	is	tough	enough	to	survive	basic	training	and	to	kill	in	combat	.	the	road	from	marching	drills	to	battle	action	is	a	bumpy	one	for	the	black	regiment	.	the	soldiers	suffer	innumerable	hardships	,	but	somehow	they	never	lose	their	morale	.	the	army	treats	the	black	soldiers	like	second	class	citizens	,	subjecting	them	to	racism	and	discrimination	.	they	are	paid	only	10	a	month	,	whereas	their	white	counterparts	earn	thirteen	,	and	,	for	a	long	time	,	they	have	to	go	without	shoes	,	guns	,	or	uniforms	.	to	make	matters	worse	,	the	white	military	hierarchy	is	extremely	reluctant	to	allow	the	blacks	into	action	,	preferring	instead	to	use	them	for	manual	labor	.	eventually	,	however	,	the	regiment	receives	its	boots	,	uniforms	,	rifles	,	and	right	to	fight	,	thanks	to	the	stubborn	resolve	of	colonel	shaw	.	shaw	has	absolute	faith	in	his	soldiers	,	and	he	fights	tooth	and	nail	to	get	them	what	they	deserve	,	even	if	it	means	threatening	a	general	with	blackmail	.	broderick	,	in	fact	,	is	most	convincing	in	the	scenes	where	shaw	stands	up	for	the	regiment	.	unfortunately	,	however	,	broderick's	uneven	performance	is	,	in	many	respects	,	the	weak	link	in	the	movie	.	in	an	effort	to	look	more	mature	,	broderick	sports	a	mustache	and	a	goatee	,	and	throughout	the	film	he	slips	in	and	out	of	a	phony	boston	accent	.	he	is	never	altogether	convincing	as	shaw	since	much	of	the	time	his	emotions	seem	forced	.	the	film	places	too	much	weight	on	broderick's	character	and	not	enough	on	the	black	soldiers	,	who	are	more	intriguing	.	glory	regains	lost	ground	with	its	harrowing	depiction	of	war	.	the	movie	shows	the	devastation	of	war	without	resorting	to	the	unnecessarily	graphic	gore	which	marred	born	on	the	fourth	of	july	.	glory	does	not	try	to	rattle	you	with	nauseating	blood	and	guts	.	except	for	a	few	bullet	wounds	and	one	exploding	head	,	the	film	,	for	the	most	part	,	leaves	the	gore	to	your	imagination	,	which	is	not	to	say	that	the	battle	scenes	in	glory	are	timid	.	to	the	contrary	,	they	are	chaotic	and	horrifying	;	it's	just	that	director	edward	zwick	(	the	co	creator	of	"	thirtysomething	"	)	films	them	with	far	more	subtlety	and	restraint	than	oliver	stone	could	ever	muster	.	the	key	to	glory	is	the	group	dynamic	among	the	black	soldiers	.	the	movie	depicts	some	of	(	but	not	enough	of	)	their	customs	and	rituals	.	in	one	scene	,	for	example	,	the	soldiers	motivate	themselves	by	singing	prayers	around	the	campfire	.	each	man	has	a	chance	to	relay	a	few	words	of	inspiration	.	a	couple	of	the	movie's	most	touching	moments	involve	young	black	children	looking	up	to	the	black	soldiers	with	awe	,	disbelief	and	pride	.	the	regiment's	greatest	triumph	comes	when	the	soldiers	distinguish	themselves	in	battle	,	thereby	earning	the	respect	of	their	white	peers	and	earning	the	honor	of	leading	the	climactic	assault	on	fort	wagner	.	like	any	war	film	,	glory	has	its	share	of	gloom	and	despair	,	but	ultimately	it	proves	to	be	a	truly	uplifting	experience	and	an	important	history	lesson	,	a	valuable	reminder	that	despite	what	the	history	books	say	(	or	,	more	precisely	,	what	they	do	not	say	)	,	blacks	played	a	critically	important	role	in	the	north's	victory	over	the	south	forever	changing	the	evolution	of	america	.
pos	starring	raul	julia	,	linda	griffiths	,	wanda	cannon	,	donald	c	.	moore	,	chapelle	jaffe	,	louis	negin	produced	by	robert	lantos	stephen	j	.	rothmpaa	:	not	rated	(	though	from	language	,	violence	,	medical	gross	outs	,	and	sexual	content	,	i'd	put	it	at	pg	)	though	made	in	canada	,	"	overdrawn	at	the	memory	bank	"	traces	its	roots	to	the	bbc	school	of	film	production	.	using	,	for	the	most	part	,	cheap	computer	and	video	special	effects	,	chyron	text	,	wildlife	documentary	footage	,	and	sets	that	are	sometimes	obviously	faked	up	,	it	nonetheless	manages	to	tell	a	good	enough	science	fiction	story	that	by	the	time	you're	twenty	minutes	into	it	,	you	should	be	hooked	.	raul	julia	plays	aram	fingal	,	a	drone	data	processing	worker	for	novicorp	whose	active	imagination	and	predilection	for	hacking	gets	him	into	trouble	with	authority	.	caught	watching	"	casablanca	"	on	his	desk	monitor	,	fingal	is	sentenced	to	"	doppling	"	rehabilitation	he	is	to	spend	forty	eight	hours	in	the	body	of	a	baboon	.	(	how	exactly	this	is	supposed	to	rehabilitate	him	is	anybody's	guess	.	)	as	it	happens	,	thanks	to	a	visiting	schoolboy's	prank	,	his	body	is	temporarily	misplaced	,	and	his	mind	has	to	be	shunted	into	the	central	computer	to	keep	him	alive	until	they	can	find	it	.	as	time	ticks	away	before	his	memory	cube	self	destructs	,	the	frantic	search	for	his	body	is	on	.	.	.	while	fingal	first	creates	a	virtual	reality	fantasy	world	,	then	finds	there's	no	better	way	to	hack	the	system	than	from	the	inside	.	during	the	chaos	,	computer	technician	apollonia	james	(	linda	griffiths	)	maintains	contact	with	fingal	through	a	datalink	,	manifesting	several	different	times	to	offer	advice	or	warnings	.	over	the	course	of	their	interactions	,	interest	on	both	their	parts	grows	into	a	budding	romance	.	given	that	"	casablanca	"	is	fingal's	favorite	film	,	and	the	basis	for	his	fantasy	world	,	a	great	deal	of	the	movie	is	homage	to	"	casablanca	"	.	in	fact	,	the	humphrey	bogart	and	peter	lorre	characters	make	appearances	(	played	by	julia	in	a	dual	role	and	louis	negin	,	respectively	)	in	a	bar	called	"	the	place	"	.	julia's	portrayal	of	bogart	is	passable	,	and	avoids	becoming	the	"	schweethaat	"	spouting	parody	seen	in	cartoons	.	negin's	peter	lorre	is	quite	credible	,	and	easily	the	best	peter	lorre	i've	ever	seen	who	wasn't	the	real	thing	.	the	two	of	them	,	as	characters	created	by	fingal's	imagination	,	serve	as	aspects	of	his	personality	,	driving	him	on	in	his	quest	to	hack	the	computer	system	.	those	aren't	the	only	casablanca	characters	to	put	in	appearances	.	the	sydney	greenstreet	character	also	happens	to	be	around	.	.	.	as	"	the	fat	man	"	,	the	alternate	aspect	of	the	film's	main	villain	,	the	novicorp	chairman	(	donald	c	.	moore	)	.	while	fingal's	body	is	lost	,	the	fat	man	tries	to	stop	him	from	hacking	the	system	.	.	.	with	less	than	salutory	results	.	it's	interesting	to	note	the	futuristic	slang	words	that	are	thrown	about	left	and	right	during	the	film	,	in	the	best	golden	age	science	fiction	tradition	.	words	like	"	dopple	"	,	"	psychist	"	,	"	computech	"	,	"	cinema	"	,	and	"	reconst	"	are	apparently	in	common	use	.	and	while	people	of	today	may	well	laugh	at	fourteen	years	past's	idea	of	futuristic	data	processing	clerks	,	some	aspects	of	this	film	are	surprisingly	perfectly	in	keeping	with	the	way	we	think	of	"	virtual	reality	"	today	.	as	cyberpunk	films	go	,	this	may	not	be	a	staple	of	the	genre	,	but	it's	definitely	recommended	viewing	.	the	special	effects	are	very	primitive	,	placing	this	production	in	the	realm	of	low	to	medium	budget	television	.	the	music	is	completely	electronic	synthesized	,	which	fits	the	low	budget	but	isn't	really	out	of	keeping	with	the	genre	.	however	,	the	writing	quite	makes	up	for	it	.	there	are	some	very	funny	moments	,	and	quite	a	few	little	in	jokes	that	one	needs	to	have	seen	"	casablanca	"	to	appreciate	properly	.	all	in	all	,	i	give	"	overdrawn	at	the	memory	bank	"	a	7	out	of	10	.	this	review	is	copyright	1997	by	christopher	e	.	meadows	.	permission	granted	for	free	distribution	over	usenet	and	associated	archival	,	and	for	archival	and	display	associated	with	the	internet	movie	database	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	imdb	.	com	a	)	.	all	other	distribution	requires	permission	from	the	author	.	chris	meadows	aka	author	,	team	m	.	e	.	c	.	h	.	a	.	,	crapshoot	co	.	robotech	_	master	on	the	superguy	listserv	(	bit	.	listserv	.	superguy	)	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	jurai	.	net	"	robotech	jurai	.	net	a	with	a	world	wide	web	homepage	located	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	robotech	eyrie	.	org	"	robotech	eyrie	.	org	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jurai	.	net	robotech	index	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	jurai	.	net	robotech	index	.	html	a
pos	(	columbia	phoenix	1996	)	starring	woody	harrelson	,	courtney	love	,	edward	norton	,	james	cromwell	,	crispin	glover	,	james	carville	,	brett	harrelson	,	donna	hanover	screenplay	by	scott	anderson	larry	karaszewski	produced	by	oliver	stone	,	janet	yang	,	michael	hausman	directed	by	milos	forman	running	time	:	127	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	milos	forman's	first	film	since	the	ill	fated	valmont	,	columbia's	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	,	is	a	vastly	entertaining	(	if	not	particularly	enlightening	)	biopic	of	hustler	publisher	and	self	made	millionaire	larry	flynt	,	who	became	an	unlikely	champion	of	freedom	of	speech	rights	in	the	united	states	in	the	late	1970s	and	early	1980s	.	the	film	unweaves	its	tale	in	a	chronological	order	:	we	open	with	young	and	dirt	poor	larry	flynt	and	his	brother	jimmy	,	peddling	jars	of	water	in	true	entrepreneurial	spirit	out	in	the	rural	outback	of	kentucky	.	cut	to	forward	in	time	,	where	the	two	flynt	brothers	,	now	young	men	,	are	running	the	struggling	hustler	go	go	clubs	in	cincinnati	.	the	strip	clubs	are	in	a	dire	financial	state	,	and	in	a	last	ditch	effort	to	salvage	the	operations	,	flynt	decides	to	go	to	a	print	shop	and	churn	out	a	promotional	newsletter	.	this	evolved	into	the	adult	periodical	_	hustler	_	magazine	,	creating	larry	flynt	a	vast	financial	empire	,	and	the	rest	is	history	.	what	sets	flynt	apart	from	other	publishers	is	his	struggles	against	those	who	would	have	him	cease	publication	of	his	adult	material	,	and	who	railed	and	preached	against	him	flynt	spent	time	in	incarceration	and	was	paralyzed	by	an	assassination	attempt	and	his	driven	,	single	minded	insistence	to	buck	the	system	and	fight	for	his	freedom	of	expression	,	regardless	of	personal	cost	.	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	also	weaves	in	the	bittersweet	story	of	flynt's	true	love	,	althea	leasure	,	whom	he	meets	as	a	dancer	in	his	club	and	later	marries	,	and	who	devotedly	stands	alongside	him	throughout	his	trials	and	tribulations	.	considering	the	serious	nature	of	the	film's	theme	the	importance	of	the	united	states'	first	amendment	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	is	surprisingly	and	wonderfully	light	hearted	and	humourous	.	much	of	the	comedy	is	elicited	from	larry	flynt's	outlandish	stunts	at	his	courtroom	appearances	some	of	his	chosen	apparel	is	hilarious	and	for	the	most	part	these	elements	of	the	film	work	far	better	than	some	of	the	more	dramatic	points	,	such	as	an	uninspiring	flynt	monologue	set	at	a	free	speech	rally	in	front	of	an	enormous	american	flag	dealing	with	the	subjectivity	of	obscenity	.	the	film's	focus	is	on	the	flynt's	many	battles	over	first	amendment	rights	and	freedom	of	speech	,	but	the	heart	of	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	is	the	touching	love	story	between	flynt	and	althea	.	larry	flynt	is	shown	as	being	occassionally	gruff	,	harsh	,	and	overtly	aggressive	with	his	friends	and	colleagues	,	but	with	althea	,	we	see	his	loving	,	affectionate	side	.	there's	a	scene	where	flynt	tenderly	takes	his	ill	wife	on	a	ride	on	his	wheelchair	that	is	heartbreaking	.	ultimately	,	the	emotional	power	that	the	film	hits	at	its	conclusion	comes	not	from	his	achievements	from	his	battles	against	censors	,	but	from	the	strength	of	flynt	and	althea's	love	for	each	other	.	woody	harrelson	is	entirely	engaging	in	what	must	be	certainly	a	career	topping	performance	as	the	irrepressible	larry	flynt	.	harrelson	plays	flynt	with	the	right	mixture	of	outrageousness	and	confident	stubborness	to	make	him	endearing	and	entirely	sympathetic	to	the	audience	,	and	a	very	compelling	protagonist	for	the	film	.	courtney	love	plays	althea	leasure	in	a	startling	turn	,	completely	raw	and	impulsive	.	it's	a	very	solid	performance	,	brash	and	naturalistic	,	and	love	is	extremely	compelling	;	it's	difficult	to	take	your	eyes	off	her	onscreen	,	and	her	chemistry	with	harrelson	is	dead	on	.	edward	norton	,	as	flynt's	straight	,	level	headed	lawyer	is	often	upstaged	by	his	flashier	co	stars	in	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	,	much	as	his	counterpart	lawyer	alan	isaacman	was	upstaged	by	flynt	during	many	of	the	courtroom	scenes	,	but	norton	shines	in	his	big	scene	where	he	addresses	the	supreme	court	in	the	climactic	scene	of	the	film	.	one	can	sense	the	frustration	that	norton's	character	feels	when	harrelson's	free	talking	flynt	sabotages	trial	after	trial	on	him	by	openly	speaking	his	mind	,	and	this	results	in	a	heightened	emotional	punch	when	norton's	isaacman	has	the	opportunity	to	sway	the	supreme	court	judges	.	milos	forman	keeps	the	film	moving	although	it	runs	over	two	hours	,	it	never	drags	and	his	direction	of	the	film	is	very	effective	,	eliciting	a	great	deal	of	empathy	for	a	subject	which	could	be	construed	by	some	as	extremely	sordid	and	unsympathetic	.	there's	also	a	great	visual	technique	which	forman	uses	to	indicate	the	passing	of	time	in	one	shot	,	which	is	both	clever	and	extremely	entertaining	.	two	minor	quibbles	with	the	film	it	certainly	seems	like	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	is	in	a	rush	to	get	to	its	main	theme	,	with	flynt	battling	against	authorities	and	the	system	for	his	freedom	of	speech	.	consequently	,	the	first	thirty	minutes	of	the	film	,	introducing	and	setting	up	the	characters	,	seem	unduly	rushed	;	perhaps	it	is	merely	due	to	the	fact	that	these	characters	are	so	interesting	,	but	i	felt	it	would	have	worked	better	if	this	route	was	taken	in	a	more	leisurely	fashion	.	it	also	felt	like	there	was	a	distinctive	lack	of	insight	into	the	inner	workings	of	these	characters	the	film	clearly	shows	what	flynt	,	althea	,	isaacman	,	and	rev	.	jerry	faldwell	did	,	and	on	a	superficial	level	some	of	their	motivations	,	but	it	never	seemed	like	one	could	really	understand	the	characters	on	a	deeper	level	.	for	example	,	why	larry	flynt	was	compelled	by	ruth	carter	stapleton	(	president	carter's	sister	)	to	be	born	again	is	a	mystery	to	me	.	then	again	,	perhaps	it	was	to	him	as	well	.	these	two	points	don't	detract	greatly	from	the	film	.	the	people	vs	.	larry	flynt	is	certainly	among	the	very	best	studio	released	films	of	1996	,	and	works	both	as	a	ringing	political	statement	about	the	importance	of	freedom	of	speech	and	the	depths	to	which	larry	flynt	would	go	to	advance	the	cause	of	free	expression	,	and	as	a	touching	love	story	.	alex	fung	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	aw220	freenet	.	carleton	.	ca	"	aw220	freenet	.	carleton	.	ca	a	)	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	ncf	.	carleton	.	ca	aw220	"	http	:	www	.	ncf	.	carleton	.	ca	aw220	a
pos	picture	:	the	picture	on	this	dvd	in	incredible	.	besides	a	few	moments	where	it	is	a	little	dark	,	the	picture	is	sharp	and	clear	.	without	having	any	lines	or	anything	.	to	me	the	picture	could	have	been	mastered	a	bit	brighter	in	some	scenes	,	but	then	again	the	film	in	the	theatre	was	dark	too	.	sound	incredible	.	the	film	has	3	ch	.	english	dolby	surround	5	.	1	,	with	music	only	audio	only	tracks	and	commentaries	during	the	film	from	the	cast	and	crew	.	when	you	are	in	a	theatre	with	great	sound	and	the	sound	is	behind	you	,	even	if	you	have	only	2	speakers	,	the	5	.	1	surround	really	is	around	you	and	amazing	.	i	would	recommend	getting	audio	equipment	or	speakers	for	best	expierience	.	special	features	the	best	feature	of	the	dvd	is	the	special	features	.	it	contains	bio's	of	the	crew	,	including	awards	they've	won	,	films	they	were	in	where	they	were	born	and	so	on	.	it	also	has	a	great	feature	called	'follow	the	white	rabbit'	in	which	a	little	rabbit	icon	appears	at	the	bottom	of	the	screen	and	when	you	press	select	the	dvd	shows	you	how	they	made	that	certain	special	effect	.	also	it	contains	the	hbo	first	look	:	the	matrix	,	a	documentary	of	the	making	of	the	film	,	'take	the	red	pills'	which	shows	you	more	of	the	making	of	the	film	including	the	bullet	scene	.	it	also	has	scene	selection	,	english	subtitles	,	interactive	menus	,	and	enhanced	features	for	your	dvd	rom	pc	,	which	includes	are	you	the	one	?	challenge	,	screenplay	,	storyboards	,	and	the	genre	essays	'do	you	know	kung	fu	"	original	theatrical	website	and	sampler	trailers	.	film	rating	some	may	be	disappointed	with	the	matrix	.	i'll	tell	you	i	was	.	i	sat	there	and	sat	there	and	sat	there	waiting	for	something	to	happen	.	now	wait	wait	,	i	know	most	of	you	loved	it	,	and	i'm	not	saying	i	didn't	like	it	.	what	i'm	saying	is	the	first	half	was	extremely	slow	.	now	seeing	the	trailer	it	makes	you	think	the	whole	entire	movie	is	one	big	special	effects	show	.	don't	be	fooled	,	this	movie	has	a	big	story	.	and	big	chunks	of	talky	moments	.	but	i	will	admit	the	special	effects	and	the	acting	were	above	par	,	deserving	the	rating	above	.	ok	now	to	the	story	.	well	this	may	take	a	while	.	ok	first	of	all	,	our	world	we	live	in	now	,	is	not	the	real	world	,	actually	we	live	inside	a	computer	generated	world	known	as	the	matrix	.	a	man	played	by	keanu	reeves	is	about	to	find	that	out	,	when	is	kidnapped	and	almost	coaxed	to	go	into	the	real	world	.	he	does	so	,	and	finds	out	that	he	can	do	anything	,	be	anything	he	wants	to	be	.	but	he	has	to	fight	a	'matrix	skipping'	bad	guy	,	who	wants	to	send	him	back	to	his	own	world	or	destroy	him	.	laurence	fishburne	,	his	guide	of	sorts	plays	his	character	well	as	does	keanu	reeves	.	but	i	sat	in	the	theatre	for	over	and	hour	wondering	where	all	the	special	effects	were	.	yeah	there	were	some	in	the	first	half	but	not	enough	.	the	trailer	for	this	movie	was	really	decieving	making	people	think	that	this	was	a	special	effects	laden	movie	.	now	for	the	second	half	,	it	is	explosive	,	and	saves	the	movie	.	some	of	the	special	effects	and	fighting	were	breathtaking	.	the	sound	,	the	music	,	and	all	the	effects	were	effective	,	and	the	last	hour	kept	us	entertained	.	but	with	a	running	time	of	2	hours	and	20	minutes	,	this	movie	is	at	least	40	minutes	too	long	.	one	would	have	wished	for	a	better	'matrix'	,	but	i	do	have	to	say	,	i	did	like	it	and	i	was	entertained	.	overall	dvd	rating	the	special	features	,	sound	,	picture	and	film	are	all	good	on	the	dvd	.	though	the	film	wasn't	as	great	as	i	thought	it	would	be	and	a	bit	slow	in	parts	the	special	effects	were	definately	amazing	.	the	5	.	1	surround	was	absolutely	incredible	,	and	i	would	definately	recommend	the	dvd	of	'the	matrix	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	september	28	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	movie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	capsule	:	a	short	punchy	action	sequel	to	the	two	dinosaur	films	made	by	steven	spielberg	.	joe	johnston	directs	a	straightforward	story	of	an	excursion	back	to	the	island	of	the	dinosaurs	.	it	lets	us	see	some	new	dinosaurs	(	is	that	an	oxymoron	?	)	and	gives	us	a	nice	and	generally	reasonably	written	adventure	.	the	film	is	neither	ambitious	nor	pretentious	.	i	had	a	good	time	.	rating	:	7	(	0	to	10	)	,	low	2	(	4	to	4	)	here	goes	my	credibility	.	this	is	a	film	on	which	i	expect	to	be	in	a	minority	.	i	liked	the	third	jurassic	park	film	.	i	even	liked	the	second	jurassic	park	film	.	in	a	lot	of	ways	jurassic	park	:	the	lost	world	was	a	creative	three	way	braiding	together	of	michael	crichton's	novel	the	lost	world	,	arthur	conan	doyle's	novel	the	lost	world	,	and	the	classic	silent	film	version	of	the	doyle	.	jp2	was	an	adventure	,	as	doyle	said	,	"	for	the	boy	who's	half	man	or	the	man	who's	half	boy	.	"	that	is	what	all	the	jurassic	park	films	are	.	expecting	them	to	give	the	viewer	insights	into	the	human	condition	is	like	expecting	your	car	to	vacuum	your	house	.	the	classic	adventure	films	like	gunga	din	or	king	solomon's	mines	had	under	written	characters	also	.	jurassic	park	iii	is	an	all	out	adventure	on	an	island	inhabited	by	dinosaurs	.	the	characters	are	a	little	more	complex	than	they	at	first	appear	to	be	,	and	even	that	is	a	little	more	complex	than	i	was	expecting	.	some	of	the	characters	who	start	out	looking	stupid	and	useless	prove	to	be	neither	as	the	film	proceeds	.	that	degree	of	complexity	combined	with	those	very	realistic	looking	dinosaur	effects	is	just	about	as	much	as	i	require	.	i	feel	i	got	my	money's	worth	.	the	story	opens	with	eric	(	played	by	trevor	morgan	)	and	friend	parasailing	near	the	forbidden	island	of	isla	sorna	off	costa	rica	.	this	was	the	research	island	where	the	dinosaurs	were	created	for	the	now	defunct	jurassic	park	.	they	hope	,	no	doubt	,	to	get	a	look	at	the	island's	dinosaurs	from	a	safe	height	.	the	height	is	safe	,	but	driving	the	boat	in	the	water	is	not	.	the	two	soon	find	themselves	in	trouble	and	have	to	ditch	their	parasail	onto	the	island	where	they	do	indeed	get	a	better	look	at	the	dinosaurs	than	they	had	intended	.	flash	to	the	united	states	and	someone	is	offering	to	fund	paleontologist	alan	grant	(	sam	neill	)	in	his	research	if	he	will	go	and	fly	over	isla	sorna	and	act	as	a	guide	.	he	has	said	that	no	force	on	earth	or	heaven	could	get	him	back	near	real	dinosaurs	.	but	again	money	convinces	him	to	drop	what	he	is	doing	and	go	.	doing	the	convincing	is	a	wealthy	and	eccentric	couple	(	william	h	.	macy	and	tea	leoni	)	who	has	been	just	about	everywhere	else	in	the	world	and	wants	the	adventure	of	seeing	real	dinosaurs	.	they	too	plan	to	see	the	island	from	a	safe	height	grant	is	relieved	to	learn	.	he	will	fly	over	this	island	at	a	safe	altitude	just	this	once	.	right	.	guess	what	happens	next	?	jp3	probably	functions	better	as	a	sequel	than	jp2	.	first	it	has	alan	grant	and	ellie	sattler	(	laura	dern	)	back	rather	than	the	much	less	appealing	ian	malcolm	.	sattler	has	a	much	smaller	part	in	jp3	,	but	is	still	present	to	tie	this	story	to	the	first	.	curiously	each	film	seems	to	arrange	to	have	a	signature	scene	with	characters	holding	on	to	some	large	metal	object	that	is	about	to	fall	some	great	distance	.	one	thing	that	does	not	quite	fit	with	the	earlier	films	is	just	as	grant	discovers	that	raptors	may	be	able	to	talk	to	each	other	,	suddenly	they	seem	to	be	doing	it	all	the	time	.	they	did	not	appear	to	be	conversing	in	the	previous	films	.	of	course	,	these	raptors	look	a	little	different	also	,	so	perhaps	they	are	a	different	related	species	.	not	only	are	they	more	intelligent	than	in	the	past	films	,	they	are	also	more	sympathetic	.	in	this	story	they	are	not	just	killing	machines	,	they	have	reasonable	motives	for	what	they	do	beyond	nutrition	.	this	time	around	they	may	be	a	little	too	anthropomorphized	.	each	new	film	in	the	series	introduces	us	to	some	new	dinosaurs	,	of	course	.	in	this	film	a	major	threat	is	from	a	spinosaurus	,	not	as	common	or	as	popularly	known	as	a	tyrannosaurus	,	but	larger	and	presumably	more	nasty	.	it	has	a	crocodile's	head	and	the	body	that	looks	like	a	dimetrodon	walking	upright	.	perhaps	as	an	economy	measure	or	just	to	create	a	mood	the	visual	effects	team	frequently	obscures	our	view	of	the	dinosaurs	.	sometimes	they	just	move	too	fast	to	see	.	occasionally	darkness	or	fog	obscures	our	vision	.	a	few	times	we	get	unconvincing	matte	shot	,	particularly	of	the	laboratory	.	but	there	is	less	money	on	the	screen	in	terms	of	dinosaur	effects	than	in	the	two	previous	films	.	the	musical	score	by	don	davis	borrows	heavily	from	john	williams's	score	for	the	first	film	.	joe	johnston	,	who	directs	,	already	has	to	his	credit	two	very	good	films	i	recommend	the	rocketeer	and	october	sky	.	a	team	including	alexander	payne	and	jim	taylor	known	for	election	writes	the	screenplay	.	the	film	they	have	made	is	a	long	way	from	great	cinema	,	but	it	still	is	fun	.	if	you	get	a	thrill	from	seeing	what	look	very	much	like	live	dinosaurs	alive	today	,	the	film	is	for	you	.	i	rate	it	a	7	on	the	0	to	10	scale	and	a	low	2	on	the	4	to	4	scale	.
pos	south	park	:	bigger	longer	and	uncut	(	1999	)	reviewed	by	eugene	novikov	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	ultimate	movie	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	ultimate	movie	.	com	a	member	:	online	film	critics	society	"	remember	what	the	mpaa	says	:	horrific	and	deplorable	violence	is	ok	as	long	as	you	don't	say	any	naughty	words	.	"	featuring	the	voice	talents	of	matt	stone	,	trey	parker	,	mary	kay	bergman	.	rated	r	.	filmmakers	jump	on	real	life	controversies	faster	than	austin	powers	on	felicity	shagwell	.	the	debate	on	whether	cinema	is	to	blame	for	teenagers	turning	into	hoodlums	has	only	begun	to	heat	up	,	and	already	someone's	made	a	movie	about	it	,	and	it's	not	,	thank	god	,	a	tragic	account	of	a	family	ripped	apart	by	the	effect	violence	in	films	had	on	a	teenage	boy	.	instead	we	get	a	sharp	,	biting	satire	that	takes	no	prisoners	and	leaves	no	conservative	point	of	view	unscathed	.	based	on	a	popular	(	and	controversial	)	cable	tv	show	,	south	park	:	bigger	longer	and	uncut	can	finally	break	loose	of	the	shackles	placed	on	the	show	by	television	restrictions	and	take	bad	taste	to	brand	new	heights	.	the	movie	is	about	a	group	of	kids	who	sneak	into	a	canadian	r	rated	movie	and	learn	some	naughty	words	.	when	they	exhibit	their	new	knowledge	to	their	moms	,	they	decide	to	"	blame	canada	,	"	wage	war	against	the	neighbor	country	and	execute	"	terrence	and	phillip	,	"	the	flatulent	actors	in	the	obscene	film	.	the	kids	form	an	alliance	they	name	"	la	resistance	"	(	with	the	accent	on	the	third	syllable	of	"	resistance	"	)	to	save	their	favorite	thespians	,	in	a	hilarious	spoof	of	(	tribute	to	?	)	les	misrables	.	in	a	subplot	,	one	of	the	characters	(	kenny	,	who	else	?	)	dies	and	goes	to	hell	where	he	meets	satan	.	satan	and	saddam	hussein	are	lovers	,	you	see	.	satan	is	a	benevolent	soul	,	while	our	favorite	eastern	ruler	can	only	think	about	sex	.	apparently	,	too	,	if	terrence	and	phillip	are	executed	it	will	be	the	final	sign	of	the	apocalypse	and	satan	can	emerge	from	the	deepest	bowels	of	the	underground	kingdom	to	rule	the	earth	.	aside	from	being	a	brilliant	satire	,	south	park	is	also	an	all	stops	out	musical	,	with	unforgettable	numbers	like	"	shut	your	f	ing	face	uncle	f	er	"	and	"	cartman's	mom	is	a	big	fat	bitch	"	.	almost	invariably	it's	funny	stuff	:	often	juvenile	but	always	funny	.	the	same	can	be	said	for	the	rest	of	the	movie	:	it's	intelligent	but	delivered	in	a	sophomoric	manner	(	i	.	e	.	toilet	humor	,	endless	profanity	,	etc	.	)	.	not	that	there's	anything	wrong	with	that	:	vulgarity	,	when	done	right	,	is	my	bag	,	baby	.	trey	parker	and	matt	stone	,	the	twenty	somethings	behind	the	film	and	the	show	,	paint	a	bulls	eye	on	the	motion	picture	association	of	america	and	proceed	to	be	the	first	to	start	trying	to	hit	it	.	cruelly	mocking	the	fact	that	the	mpaa's	rating	system	will	allegedly	tolerate	grotesque	violence	as	long	as	obscenities	aren't	uttered	,	the	auteurs	throw	some	nasty	one	liner	insults	their	way	.	the	ratings	a	plenty	association	isn't	the	only	target	of	this	unsparing	banter	:	people	who	favor	censoring	movies	over	gun	control	are	equally	fair	game	,	with	the	"	blame	canada	"	plot	being	a	not	so	cheap	shot	at	them	.	the	distinctively	low	tech	"	cardboard	"	animation	is	oddly	effective	,	even	more	so	than	the	state	of	the	art	"	deep	canvas	"	technique	aptly	demonstrated	in	the	recent	tarzan	.	it's	more	pleasant	to	look	at	,	less	intimidating	up	on	the	screen	,	and	most	importantly	it	doesn't	detract	from	the	film's	concept	as	much	as	disney's	admirably	awe	inspiring	work	does	.	the	show's	popularity	has	been	waning	as	of	late	,	and	perhaps	this	movie	is	just	the	thing	to	boost	its	ratings	.	perhaps	not	.	having	seen	the	show	on	numerous	occasions	,	i	can	say	that	it's	not	nearly	as	smart	or	as	funny	as	this	movie	.	the	series	may	be	better	off	simply	continuing	on	the	big	screen	every	couple	years	.	parker	and	stone	have	outdone	themselves	to	the	point	where	i	am	forced	to	ask	:	must	the	show	go	on	?	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	sent	via	deja	.	com	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	deja	.	com	a	share	what	you	know	.	learn	what	you	don't	.
pos	release	date	:	september	11	,	1998	starring	:	ian	michael	smith	,	joseph	mazzello	,	ashley	judd	,	oliver	platt	,	david	strathairn	,	dana	ivey	,	jim	carrey	directed	by	:	mark	steven	johnson	distributed	by	:	buena	vista	pictures	mpaa	rating	:	pg	(	language	,	emotional	thematic	elements	,	an	accident	scene	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	simon	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1998	simon	.	htm	a	in	some	regards	,	making	a	movie	is	like	trying	to	stretch	a	rubber	band	as	far	as	you	can	without	breaking	it	.	try	too	hard	,	and	it	snaps	;	but	too	much	reservation	means	someone	else	will	come	along	and	pull	it	farther	.	in	simon	birch	,	director	mark	steven	johnson	shows	us	just	how	to	master	the	technique	:	he	takes	advantage	of	caution	and	poise	,	but	also	risks	his	movie	with	a	few	bold	steps	.	in	the	end	,	he's	not	only	holding	an	unbroken	band	,	but	he	makes	the	audience	appreciate	the	lengths	he	went	to	direct	such	a	fine	feature	.	there's	no	doubt	about	it	:	the	film	that	johnson	has	crafted	is	rich	.	he	chooses	for	his	setting	the	quaint	town	of	gravestown	,	maine	leaves	turn	bright	orange	in	the	fall	,	the	grass	is	a	lush	green	,	pure	white	snow	falls	in	the	winter	,	and	the	sky	goes	on	forever	.	the	characters	continue	that	turn	:	our	two	leads	are	simon	birch	(	ian	michael	smith	)	and	joe	wenteworth	(	joseph	mazzello	)	.	simon	is	the	smallest	baby	ever	born	within	the	records	of	the	local	hospital	,	and	by	age	twelve	he's	only	two	feet	tall	.	joe	is	the	bastard	son	of	rebecca	(	ashley	judd	)	,	and	by	age	twelve	he's	ready	to	know	who	is	father	is	.	naturally	,	the	two	outcasts	become	good	friends	and	share	many	adventures	together	,	from	disrupting	sunday	school	to	doing	community	service	to	playing	little	league	baseball	.	in	a	wonderfully	executed	performance	by	ian	michael	smith	,	simon	birch	is	convinced	that	he's	god's	instrument	,	and	there	must	be	a	reason	he's	so	small	.	joe	doesn't	quite	buy	it	,	but	he	sticks	by	simon	;	the	two	tough	it	out	through	the	worst	of	times	and	are	each	other's	only	true	friends	.	early	on	,	the	two	meet	up	with	ben	goodrich	(	oliver	platt	)	,	rebecca's	new	boyfriend	,	and	although	the	bond	isn't	immediate	,	ben	and	the	two	boys	develop	a	liking	for	each	other	.	both	platt	and	judd	give	solid	performances	that	lend	their	characters	a	deep	likeability	.	the	audience	cares	about	them	as	much	as	they	do	about	joe	and	simon	,	a	testament	to	the	acting	jobs	of	both	.	finally	,	jim	carrey	gives	a	cameo	as	the	adult	joe	in	the	present	day	,	and	his	few	minutes	here	are	relatively	more	impressive	than	his	entire	performance	in	the	truman	show	.	mark	steven	johnson's	sense	of	drama	and	writing	is	fantastic	.	the	script	is	loosely	based	on	john	irving's	novel	,	a	prayer	for	owen	meany	,	but	it's	so	far	off	the	source	material	that	irving	actually	requested	the	credits	be	changed	from	'based	on'	to	'suggested	by	.	'	along	those	same	lines	,	it's	almost	unfitting	to	compare	the	two	;	johnson	uses	tension	,	humor	,	atmosphere	,	and	suspense	to	create	an	original	drama	of	forrest	gumpian	proportions	.	by	no	means	has	he	developed	a	project	of	similar	popularity	gump	made	over	300	million	dollars	while	birch	ought	to	pass	out	of	sight	in	a	few	weeks	but	the	winning	idea	remains	the	same	.	simon	birch	is	a	different	look	at	a	different	life	,	and	one	that	will	most	likely	be	studied	in	film	school	classes	in	decades	to	come	.	in	the	present	,	however	,	it's	an	enjoyable	little	picture	that	everyone	ought	to	take	a	look	at	.
pos	my	memory	might	be	a	bit	hazy	,	but	together	dealt	with	the	following	subjects	among	a	dozen	different	characters	:	growing	up	,	divorce	,	lesbianism	homosexuality	,	loneliness	,	communism	,	spousal	abuse	,	shoddy	parenting	,	infidelity	,	and	marital	discontent	.	i	might	have	forgotten	about	the	release	of	abba's	third	album	in	there	,	but	again	my	memory	flickers	.	what	i	do	remember	is	that	the	movie	takes	place	in	1975	stockholm	at	a	large	house	full	of	free	loving	communists	kind	of	like	the	real	world	,	if	karl	marx	and	hugh	hefner	shared	a	flat	with	an	mtv	feed	.	the	leader	of	the	group	is	gran	(	gustav	hammertoe	)	,	a	gentle	fellow	with	a	great	beard	,	whose	sister	,	elisabeth	(	lisa	lindgren	)	,	escapes	her	abusive	lout	of	a	husband	,	rolf	(	michael	nyqvist	)	by	moving	with	her	two	kids	into	gran's	clan	.	this	,	of	course	,	sets	in	motion	a	series	of	changes	for	everyone	in	the	house	.	the	moviegoer	is	also	in	for	a	challenge	.	there	are	so	many	changes	,	along	with	so	many	characters	,	that	it's	hard	to	keep	up	.	i	entirely	forgot	about	two	characters	before	they	were	reintroduced	midway	through	the	film	.	dramas	with	large	ensemble	casts	are	difficult	to	maintain	,	and	together	is	a	great	example	of	why	that	happens	.	to	me	the	model	of	a	great	ensemble	drama	is	paul	thomas	anderson's	boogie	nights	,	because	it	took	the	time	and	the	effort	to	let	us	know	a	bit	about	each	and	every	character	.	it	also	had	technical	flair	and	a	plot	that	dug	into	the	characters'	hubris	and	fragile	egos	.	writer	director	lukas	moodysson	doesn't	let	us	know	the	characters	because	it's	in	such	a	damned	hurry	.	we	get	no	sense	of	a	group	dynamic	,	no	sense	of	character	structure	.	it's	the	cinematic	equivalent	of	a	long	flipbook	.	very	rarely	in	together	do	we	get	an	idea	of	the	emotions	behind	the	characters	.	at	one	point	,	gran	suddenly	and	violently	throws	out	his	promiscuous	girlfriend	,	lena	(	played	with	misguided	,	slutty	conviction	by	anja	lundkvist	)	.	it's	easily	the	movie's	most	passionate	moment	.	we've	seen	lena's	cavalier	treatment	of	gran	and	we	understand	his	action	,	though	he	says	their	relationship	is	open	.	however	,	moodysson	never	offers	this	kind	of	absorbing	history	for	everyone	else	,	so	we're	essentially	stuck	with	empty	gestures	.	when	he	tries	to	offer	some	sense	of	togetherness	(	no	pun	intended	)	like	a	soccer	game	or	a	crowded	dinner	table	,	there's	little	to	hold	on	to	because	we	feel	like	we	don't	know	these	people	.	i	would	have	been	content	just	watching	rolf	try	to	win	back	the	confidence	of	his	wife	and	kids	;	rolf's	struggle	to	gain	redemption	is	fully	believable	and	the	sturdiest	branch	on	the	plot	tree	.	so	much	goes	on	that	it's	not	nearly	as	effective	as	it	should	be	.	the	director	is	too	busy	looking	at	the	repressed	family	next	door	,	homosexual	encounters	,	and	the	household's	introduction	to	meat	and	television	.	there	are	definitely	some	highlights	sprinkled	throughout	,	apart	from	the	copious	amount	of	nudity	(	both	male	and	female	)	.	the	relationship	that	elisabeth's	pubescent	daughter	(	emma	samuelsson	)	has	with	the	boy	next	door	(	henrik	lundstrm	)	hits	all	the	awkward	notes	,	as	does	enqvist's	painful	attempts	to	get	back	in	his	family's	good	graces	.	the	movie	needs	twenty	more	minutes	,	five	fewer	subplots	,	and	a	compass	.
pos	directed	by	renny	harlin	starring	:	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	saffron	burrows	,	ll	cool	j	running	time	:	1hr	50mins	(	approx	)	rating	:	1	2	out	of	now	,	lets	first	look	into	the	history	of	shark	films	.	there	was	the	unforgettable	jaws	.	the	exciting	jaws	2	.	the	rather	flaky	jaws	3d	and	sometime	in	the	late	90s	another	film	of	the	same	genre	that	i	can't	seem	to	recall	(	about	the	son	of	jaws	returning	to	wreak	revenge	or	something	like	that	)	.	now	,	with	the	magic	of	cgi	,	one	shark	is	simply	not	enough	;	in	deep	blue	sea	,	there	are	3	big	,	mean	and	really	smart	ones	!	russell	frankiln	(	jackson	)	visits	aquatica	(	a	sea	bound	research	center	)	,	where	a	research	is	being	conducted	on	the	extraction	of	a	hormone	substance	found	uniquely	within	the	shark	brain	that	can	cure	and	reverse	the	effects	of	alzheimer's	disease	.	the	substance	is	small	in	quantity	and	because	of	this	,	lead	researcher	dr	.	susan	macalaester	genetically	alters	the	shark	dna	and	grows	them	twice	the	size	with	brains	as	big	as	humans	,	naturally	producing	more	of	the	much	treasured	hormones	.	as	sure	as	the	sun	sets	in	the	west	,	a	shark	breaks	lose	and	wreaks	havoc	within	the	facility	during	a	hormone	extraction	procedure	.	with	the	flexibility	offered	by	cgi	,	the	sharks	get	more	full	length	screen	time	as	their	predecessors	did	in	those	remote	controlled	rubber	suit	days	.	gone	are	the	days	of	people	getting	pulled	under	the	water	with	the	water	turning	red	right	after	.	this	time	,	we	get	to	see	the	entire	gobbling	action	,	with	floating	limbs	and	all	.	so	so	acting	,	expected	in	most	of	your	average	action	film	.	jackson	(	fresh	from	his	jedi	master	role	in	the	phantom	menace	)	,	takes	on	the	dark	side	force	of	a	different	kind	and	fits	well	with	his	wise	cracking	lines	.	ll	cool	j's	cook	role	as	preacher	,	does	for	this	film	what	steven	seagal's	cook	could	only	dream	to	achieve	in	his	two	under	siege	films	.	deep	blue	sea	does	not	offer	any	of	the	psychological	thrills	that	jaws	has	to	offer	.	it	does	however	,	prove	to	be	a	refreshing	follow	up	within	the	genre	,	full	of	visual	thrills	,	suspense	and	believe	it	or	not	humour	!	its	like	jurassic	park	under	water	.	nothing	too	stressful	,	pure	entertainment	.	renny	harlin	,	you	are	forgiven	(	for	making	cutthroat	island	)	.	visit	my	film	reviews	site	!	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	jackchoo	"	http	:	members	.	tripod	.	com	jackchoo	a
pos	as	far	as	the	obligatory	james	bond	theme	song	goes	,	the	one	here	,	by	paul	mccartney	and	wings	(	not	the	dreaded	four	times	a	day	on	usa	sitcom	)	,	is	by	far	the	best	.	(	don't	tell	me	those	swedish	meatballs	a	ha	even	come	close	with	"	the	living	daylights	.	"	)	also	,	live	and	let	die	brags	the	accomplishment	of	having	more	black	people	than	the	other	seventeen	bond	movies	combined	.	it's	kind	of	sad	,	actually	,	to	have	to	hear	james	bond	being	referred	to	as	"	honkey	"	and	"	cue	ball	"	while	in	harlem	.	(	you	wouldn't	think	a	white	guy	would	get	that	kind	of	treatment	in	harlem	,	but	oh	how	the	times	have	changed	.	)	this	dramatic	shift	in	focus	is	most	likely	the	result	of	louis	farrakhan	replacing	david	duke	as	executive	producer	of	the	bond	series	.	that's	not	the	only	replacement	we	see	in	live	and	let	die	.	roger	moore	replaces	sean	connery	as	007	,	beginning	a	seven	movie	run	extending	through	1985's	a	view	to	a	kill	.	moore	,	naturally	,	doesn't	completely	capture	the	smooth	,	debonair	feel	connery	put	forth	in	his	six	outings	as	the	secret	agent	,	but	he	does	assume	the	role	surprisingly	well	.	he'd	almost	be	on	the	same	level	as	connery	if	not	for	the	fact	that	he	reminds	me	so	much	of	adam	west	,	tv's	batman	.	or	is	it	just	my	imagination	running	away	with	me	?	the	plot	mixes	the	typical	drug	lord	scenario	with	voodoo	,	shifting	from	harlem	to	san	monique	to	new	orleans	in	pursuit	of	mr	.	big	.	solitaire	,	bond's	third	girl	of	the	movie	,	is	a	tarot	card	reader	.	bond	stacks	a	deck	of	cards	with	"	the	lovers	"	in	an	attempt	to	poke	her	.	(	get	it	?	cards	.	poker	.	)	he	takes	her	virginity	away	,	which	in	turn	takes	away	her	magical	ability	to	read	the	future	.	(	she	should	have	seen	it	coming	,	i	say	.	)	so	was	it	worth	it	,	mr	.	bond	?	huh	?	just	so	she	could	be	your	863rd	conquest	?	live	and	let	die	is	entertaining	in	two	ways	.	first	,	it	works	as	a	straight	action	movie	almost	the	entire	time	.	the	only	lapse	is	an	overlong	boat	chase	in	which	bumbling	redneck	sheriff	pepper	(	whose	brother	is	a	sergeant	)	is	introduced	as	some	kind	of	comic	relief	,	trying	to	capture	bond	and	his	pursuers	.	second	,	live	and	let	die	is	more	dated	than	most	other	bond	movies	,	especially	with	its	introduction	of	jive	talkin'	,	bushy	sideburned	blaxploitation	villains	,	giving	it	an	unintended	camp	hilarity	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	website	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a
pos	blood	simple	(	out	of	four	)	r	,	1984	directed	by	joel	coen	.	written	by	joel	and	ethan	coen	.	starring	john	getz	,	frances	mcdormand	,	dan	hedaya	,	m	.	emmet	walsh	.	it	might	surprise	some	to	know	that	joel	and	ethan	coen	,	who	have	brought	such	unabated	lunacy	to	our	movie	screens	as	"	raising	arizona	"	and	"	the	hudsucker	proxy	,	"	made	their	feature	film	debut	with	"	blood	simple	,	"	a	grim	and	often	gruesome	tale	of	revenge	,	murder	,	and	literally	fatal	misconceptions	in	rural	texas	.	it	bears	some	resemblance	,	story	wise	,	to	the	coens'	recent	"	fargo	,	"	but	even	the	darkly	satirical	humor	and	the	enjoyably	quirky	characterizations	that	characterized	that	film	are	scarce	here	;	"	blood	simple	"	is	pretty	much	cold	and	brutal	from	beginning	to	end	.	the	premise	of	"	blood	simple	"	is	really	just	a	slight	variation	on	the	standard	love	triangle	revenge	scheme	:	sleazy	bar	owner	julian	marty	(	dan	hedaya	)	hires	a	shifty	private	detective	(	m	.	emmet	walsh	)	to	kill	his	wife	abby	(	frances	mcdormand	)	and	her	illicit	lover	ray	(	john	getz	)	.	things	start	to	go	haywire	when	walsh	decides	instead	to	fake	the	murder	with	photographic	trickery	but	,	upon	collecting	the	money	,	becomes	uncertain	as	to	whether	or	not	marty	is	capable	of	keeping	his	mouth	shut	about	the	scheme	.	to	reveal	any	more	details	of	the	story	would	be	to	give	away	too	much	,	but	what	ensues	is	a	series	of	bloody	(	and	i	do	mean	bloody	)	confrontations	,	each	triggered	by	one	or	more	characters	misunderstanding	what	is	actually	happening	.	every	act	of	violence	or	deception	in	this	film	makes	sense	when	seen	through	the	perpetrator's	eyes	,	but	we	,	the	audience	,	are	made	privy	to	the	"	big	picture	"	and	thus	can	recognize	that	each	misdeed	is	somehow	either	unnecessary	or	directed	at	the	wrong	person	.	this	aspect	of	the	story	,	along	with	the	intense	atmosphere	of	repulsion	and	brutality	one	gets	the	sense	that	if	guns	and	,	in	one	case	,	shovels	,	were	not	available	,	some	of	these	characters	would	claw	each	other	to	death	are	the	most	effective	components	of	the	film	.	the	coens	might	have	done	well	to	title	the	film	"	fear	and	loathing	in	texas	.	"	some	have	labeled	"	blood	simple	as	a	modern	day	noir	,	but	,	while	i	am	not	an	expert	on	either	genre	,	it	seems	more	like	a	horror	movie	than	anything	else	.	the	coens	seem	much	more	interested	in	the	plot	twists	and	the	atmosphere	of	confusion	and	paranoia	than	they	do	in	the	characters	,	and	the	final	sequence	is	nothing	more	than	a	showdown	between	the	one	(	relatively	)	innocent	character	and	the	only	one	of	the	murderers	left	alive	.	that	said	,	"	blood	simple	"	is	a	very	good	horror	movie	;	the	fear	and	suspense	here	are	genuine	.	the	coens	also	add	plenty	of	quirky	touches	that	nudge	the	weirdness	meter	upwards	,	such	as	when	a	character	enters	an	empty	room	and	accidentally	steps	on	a	gun	,	discharging	it	as	it	skitters	across	the	floor	,	or	when	a	murder	attempt	unfolds	in	a	way	such	that	abby	mistakes	her	attacker	for	another	character	who	has	in	fact	been	killed	earlier	in	the	film	.	that	said	,	"	blood	simple	"	is	not	exactly	flawless	.	for	one	thing	,	the	motivations	for	the	killings	are	still	a	little	thin	at	times	;	i	can	understand	that	the	characters	had	tracks	to	cover	(	or	at	least	thought	they	did	)	,	but	i	found	it	a	little	hard	to	accept	that	all	of	them	would	so	quickly	resort	to	murder	.	and	although	they	at	least	didnt	have	anyone	get	hacked	to	death	with	a	knife	,	the	coens	also	aren't	quite	immune	to	horror	cliches	;	they	indulge	in	a	prolonged	dead	guy	seems	to	have	come	back	to	life	but	then	we	find	out	it's	only	a	dream	scene	that	had	me	rolling	my	eyes	.	the	film	also	ends	so	quickly	after	the	final	confrontation	that	i	found	myself	wondering	if	they	had	simply	run	out	of	film	.	"	blood	simple	"	is	not	quite	the	masterpiece	of	neo	noir	that	many	seem	to	think	it	is	,	but	it's	a	decent	movie	and	it	showcases	the	coens'	ability	to	handle	suspense	and	violence	in	a	visceral	but	non	exploitative	manner	.	i	would	firmly	recommend	it	to	all	"	coen	heads	"	as	well	as	anyone	looking	for	something	original	in	a	thriller	.
pos	dawson's	creek	resident	hunk	james	van	der	beek	goes	from	playing	a	sensitive	school	kid	tackling	some	of	life's	riddles	on	the	small	screen	to	a	sensitive	kid	tackling	some	of	life's	ironies	on	the	big	screen	in	his	first	major	feature	film	role	.	on	the	surface	varsity	blues	is	another	movie	about	football	and	the	pressures	of	competing	.	however	,	director	brian	robbins	(	good	burger	,	etc	)	and	writer	w	peter	iliff	(	patriot	games	,	point	break	,	etc	)	give	the	film	a	more	human	aspect	that	will	appeal	to	those	not	normally	attracted	towards	sports	oriented	movies	.	varsity	blues	also	deals	with	teenage	angst	,	the	problems	of	parental	expectations	,	and	the	decisions	they	are	often	forced	to	make	that	will	shape	their	lives	forever	.	everything	in	the	small	texan	town	of	west	canaan	revolves	around	the	local	high	school	team	.	disillusioned	fathers	live	vicariously	through	their	son's	achievements	on	the	football	field	,	while	the	whole	town	basks	in	the	glory	of	their	triumphs	.	even	the	town	sheriff	overlooks	many	of	their	high	spirited	pranks	.	however	,	for	jon	moxon	(	van	der	beek	)	,	football	has	lost	that	element	of	pure	fun	that	he	and	his	team	mates	enjoyed	as	children	.	he	doesn't	buy	into	the	football	as	a	metaphor	for	life	angle	espoused	by	ruthless	coach	bud	kimble	(	jon	voight	)	.	kimble	is	a	legend	in	the	town	for	his	on	field	success	,	although	that	has	come	at	a	high	price	.	mox	believes	that	there	is	life	beyond	football	,	and	that	winning	is	not	everything	.	of	course	,	mox's	indifference	towards	football	brings	him	into	conflict	with	the	arrogant	kimble	.	we	don't	learn	much	about	kimble's	personal	life	,	as	we	only	see	him	in	his	office	,	cluttered	with	trophies	,	and	on	the	field	.	then	we	realise	,	somewhat	sadly	,	that	,	for	him	,	football	and	coaching	is	his	life	.	while	reluctantly	warming	the	bench	awaiting	his	chance	to	play	,	he	reads	kurt	vonnegut	.	kimble's	star	players	are	forced	to	use	pain	killing	injections	to	prolong	their	time	of	the	field	.	after	lance	breaks	a	leg	after	a	fierce	tackle	,	mox	is	promoted	to	quarterback	,	and	becomes	the	new	star	of	the	team	.	at	first	,	he	has	trouble	coping	with	the	instant	fame	and	adulation	,	and	loses	direction	for	a	while	.	his	new	found	fame	also	threatens	his	relationship	with	julie	(	amy	smart	)	,	who	doesn't	like	football	jocks	.	eventually	,	mox	manages	to	put	everything	back	into	perspective	and	attempts	to	remain	true	to	his	own	values	.	varsity	blues	has	plenty	of	bone	crunching	football	action	,	but	it	is	mox's	off	field	struggle	with	some	of	life's	complex	questions	that	will	sustain	the	interest	.	the	hunky	van	der	beek	will	obviously	be	one	of	the	main	attractions	for	audiences	.	however	,	veteran	voight	weighs	in	with	another	intense	,	oily	performance	as	the	obsessed	and	driven	coach	,	and	brings	some	bite	to	the	clichd	part	.	relative	newcomers	scott	caan	and	paul	walker	are	also	solid	as	two	of	mox's	team	mates	.	ron	lester	(	from	good	burger	)	brings	a	poignant	touch	to	his	role	as	the	overweight	but	genial	giant	billy	bob	.	varsity	blues	is	a	strong	and	unusually	sophisticated	film	for	adolescents	that	delivers	some	important	messages	.	it	also	proves	that	teen	movies	are	capable	of	more	than	just	ribald	comedies	and	slasher	flicks	.
pos	soldier	(	1998	)	a	film	review	by	justin	felix	.	copyright	1998	justin	felix	.	other	reviews	by	me	may	be	found	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	justin	felix	a	this	review	also	appears	in	the	shrubbery	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	1198	movie1	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	theshrubbery	.	prohosting	.	com	1198	movie1	.	html	a	screenplay	by	david	webb	peoples	.	directed	by	paul	anderson	.	starring	kurt	russell	,	jason	scott	lee	,	gary	busey	.	rated	r	(	contains	violence	and	profanity	)	approx	.	95	mins	.	synopsis	:	in	the	near	future	,	sergeant	todd	,	trained	from	birth	to	be	a	remorseless	killing	machine	,	and	his	squad	of	merciless	soldiers	are	replaced	by	genetically	engineered	warriors	.	believed	dead	,	todd	is	dumped	onto	a	garbage	planet	where	a	small	group	of	colonists	struggle	to	survive	.	todd	defends	these	colonists	from	the	warriors	who	replaced	him	when	their	superior	officer	decides	the	colonists	would	make	good	target	practice	.	comments	:	on	paper	,	soldier	has	the	ingredients	to	make	a	superior	film	.	it	is	written	by	david	webb	peoples	,	who	penned	the	screenplay	to	the	classic	blade	runner	and	the	critically	acclaimed	12	monkeys	.	it	is	directed	by	paul	anderson	,	who	was	responsible	for	event	horizon	,	an	unfairly	criticized	cross	genre	film	,	and	mortal	kombat	,	a	popular	movie	based	on	the	video	game	of	the	same	name	.	it	even	stars	kurt	russell	,	who	has	acted	in	good	science	fiction	films	such	as	stargate	and	john	carpenter's	remake	of	the	thing	.	though	soldier	is	an	entertaining	and	visually	interesting	film	,	it	proves	to	be	somewhat	disappointing	considering	the	talent	involved	in	the	film's	production	.	soldier	begins	in	the	year	1996	,	when	sergeant	todd	is	born	.	apparently	,	on	the	date	of	his	birth	,	todd	,	along	with	a	group	of	other	babies	,	is	chosen	to	be	involved	in	a	government	(	?	)	program	to	raise	and	train	a	group	of	fearless	ground	soldiers	.	through	a	series	of	rapid	flashbacks	,	the	audience	sees	todd	grow	to	adulthood	and	some	of	the	campaigns	on	other	worlds	that	he	is	involved	in	.	already	,	the	audience	is	keenly	aware	of	the	major	flaw	in	the	movie	:	nothing	is	ever	really	explained	.	soldier	never	details	(	a	)	who	todd	fights	for	,	(	b	)	why	a	technologically	savvy	society	needs	human	ground	troops	when	they	could	probably	find	less	expensive	means	of	achieving	military	goals	,	or	(	c	)	how	our	planet	becomes	an	intergalactic	colonizing	force	within	the	next	20	years	.	apparently	,	the	only	things	the	filmmakers	wish	us	to	know	is	that	todd	is	a	killing	machine	and	the	person	in	charge	is	a	really	bad	guy	.	what	follows	is	the	standard	sci	fi	cliche	of	the	underdog	against	a	supposedly	superior	opponent	;	in	this	case	,	sergeant	todd	and	a	ragtag	group	of	colonists	try	to	defend	themselves	from	a	horde	of	genetically	enhanced	,	heavily	armed	,	well	trained	soldiers	.	guess	who	wins	.	having	criticized	the	screenplay	,	i	can	now	say	that	i	still	enjoyed	soldier	.	this	is	a	movie	which	attempts	to	cross	genres	to	create	something	different	.	event	horizon	,	paul	anderson's	last	film	,	combined	horror	and	science	fiction	,	giving	the	audience	a	haunted	spaceship	.	similarly	,	soldier	combines	science	fiction	with	the	western	and	the	action	movie	,	giving	us	shane	on	another	planet	.	the	mix	of	genres	works	for	the	most	part	.	though	the	story	,	including	the	ultimate	resolution	,	is	quite	obvious	,	the	film's	landscape	,	an	apocalyptic	garbage	dump	of	a	planet	presented	paradoxically	beautiful	in	its	harshness	,	and	some	brilliant	pyrotechnic	fight	scenes	make	soldier	a	fun	saturday	afternoon	matinee	movie	.	like	event	horizon	,	however	,	soldier	doesn't	pull	any	punches	no	pun	intended	when	it	comes	to	violence	one	of	the	reasons	i	suspect	event	horizon	was	so	squarely	criticized	.	soldier	is	violent	;	it	has	many	bloody	scenes	,	a	number	of	grisly	deaths	,	and	some	rather	sadistic	moments	(	these	warriors	,	for	instance	,	have	no	reservations	shooting	unarmed	young	children	in	combat	situations	)	.	kurt	russell	plays	sergeant	todd	quite	effectively	.	todd	does	not	have	much	dialogue	in	the	movie	;	he	remains	largely	silent	.	this	silence	,	however	,	adds	to	the	tension	of	the	film	,	as	the	colonists	fear	that	his	training	will	make	him	snap	at	any	moment	.	soldier	,	thus	,	like	event	horizon	,	is	an	extremely	tense	film	.	russell	,	though	,	exaggerates	the	tough	guy	image	a	little	too	much	at	times	,	granting	the	film	some	much	needed	melodramatic	camp	humor	.	gary	busey	plays	his	signature	stock	character	,	a	slick	though	ultimately	well	meaning	individual	,	adequately	here	.	rising	star	jason	scott	lee	,	like	russell	,	isn't	given	much	dialogue	,	but	he	portrays	the	main	antagonist	suitably	enough	.	soldier	strikes	me	as	a	made	for	the	scifi	channel	movie	with	a	budget	.	despite	the	talent	behind	the	film	,	it	is	not	great	.	soldier	,	however	,	doesn't	seem	to	carry	the	pretense	of	greatness	.	it's	a	little	sci	fi	action	film	which	delivers	enough	special	effects	and	action	sequences	to	carry	it	through	.	it's	not	worth	six	bucks	,	but	it's	certainly	worth	a	matinee	price	.	rated	r	,	soldier	contains	many	graphic	scenes	of	violence	which	may	be	inappropriate	for	children	.	although	,	to	give	the	movie	credit	,	soldier	,	more	so	than	other	recent	action	films	like	the	"	video	game	"	ish	blade	and	the	humorous	rush	hour	,	shows	the	results	of	violence	,	both	physically	and	mentally	,	on	its	victims	.
pos	the	second	jackal	based	film	to	come	out	in	1997	(	the	other	starring	bruce	willis	was	simply	entitled	the	jackal	)	,	this	one	stars	aidan	quinn	and	donald	sutherland	,	and	is	directed	by	a	man	who	hailed	from	joblo's	own	alma	matter	,	concordia	university	in	montreal	,	canada	.	the	story	is	based	on	the	exploits	of	the	real	terrorist	known	as	the	jackal	,	but	does	not	pretend	to	be	100	factual	.	plot	:	naval	officer	ramirez	(	quinn	)	gets	called	upon	by	the	cia	to	impersonate	the	international	terrorist	known	as	the	jackal	,	in	order	to	put	an	end	to	the	actual	militant's	radical	activities	.	he	is	chosen	for	this	role	because	he	physically	resembles	the	real	terrorist	to	a	tee	.	ramirez	reluctantly	agrees	to	take	part	in	this	"	assignment	"	,	and	soon	finds	himself	wrapped	up	in	a	true	web	of	international	terrorism	,	intrigue	and	double	personality	syndrome	(	which	does	not	sit	well	with	his	uninformed	wife	and	kids	back	in	the	states	.	)	critique	:	great	premise	is	executed	with	enough	style	and	thrills	to	keep	the	piece	interesting	throughout	its	close	to	two	hour	runtime	.	admittedly	,	i	wasn't	a	huge	fan	of	any	of	the	main	actors	in	this	film	,	and	didn't	expect	much	from	this	movie	beforehand	,	but	surprisingly	it	did	have	its	thrilling	moments	,	as	well	as	a	mostly	plausible	and	absorbing	story	line	.	the	first	hour	is	mostly	just	a	build	up	of	things	to	come	,	and	does	offer	a	great	characterization	of	the	jackal	,	but	the	second	hour	is	the	one	that	really	cranks	in	the	cool	scenes	and	a	sweet	ending	.	quinn	was	adequate	in	both	roles	as	naval	officer	ramirez	and	the	real	jackal	,	but	didn't	offer	anything	extraordinary	,	in	my	opinion	.	sutherland	and	kingsley	seem	to	be	playing	the	same	role	that	they've	played	in	both	of	their	respective	careers	of	late	,	but	nonetheless	,	appeared	to	relish	the	cold	heartedness	of	their	chosen	characters	.	i	didn't	like	performance	put	forth	from	quinn's	wife	in	this	flick	,	but	then	again	,	she	doesn't	show	up	in	most	of	the	film	,	so	that	wasn't	so	bad	.	i	did	however	enjoy	director	duguay's	interesting	style	and	cinematic	vision	.	this	thriller	could	easily	have	been	boring	during	many	sequences	,	but	duguay	always	seemed	to	find	something	interesting	to	show	the	viewer	.	i	thought	that	was	neat	.	having	said	that	,	i	didn't	think	the	first	hour	needed	to	be	as	long	as	it	was	,	and	the	film	did	have	me	tinkering	on	the	bridge	of	believability	when	the	"	fake	"	jackal	met	with	the	"	real	"	jackal's	girlfriend	without	much	retrospection	on	her	part	,	but	all	in	all	,	not	too	many	complaints	in	a	movie	that	could	easily	be	enjoyed	by	all	those	who	take	pleasure	in	the	spy	and	terrorist	thriller	genre	.	little	known	facts	:	ben	kingsley's	real	name	is	krishna	banji	,	he	stands	5	"	8	,	was	born	in	scarborough	,	england	,	and	won	the	best	actor	honor	in	1982's	academy	awards	presentation	for	the	title	role	he	portrayed	in	ghandi	.	many	scenes	from	this	film	were	actually	shot	in	montreal	,	canada	(	joblo's	haven	of	restfulness	)	.	donald	sutherland	has	fathered	actor	kiefer	sutherland	,	is	canadian	,	and	apparently	still	owns	a	place	in	the	north	of	montreal	.	hr	visit	joblo's	movie	reviews	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	"	http	:	www	.	microtec	.	net	drsuess	hr	a
pos	"	dangan	runner	"	the	word	"	dangan	"	means	"	bullet	"	is	one	big	chase	scene	played	for	comic	revelation	.	like	a	lot	of	action	movies	,	there's	a	climax	where	everyone's	shooting	at	everyone	else	but	in	this	case	,	it's	played	as	a	tongue	in	cheek	piece	of	black	comedy	instead	of	a	serious	contest	of	strength	.	"	dangan	runner	"	takes	three	people	whose	lives	have	bottomed	out	and	intertwines	them	in	bizarre	ways	.	tomoroh	taguchi	(	the	quintessential	japanese	cult	actor	)	,	as	yasuda	,	is	a	schlub	who	can't	even	hold	down	a	short	order	cook	job	.	he	tries	to	rob	a	bank	,	but	even	that	collapses	when	he	realizes	he's	left	his	face	mask	at	hime	and	the	only	mask	he	can	find	at	the	corner	convenience	store	(	in	a	hilarious	piece	of	montage	)	is	a	children's	sized	job	.	in	despair	,	he	tries	robbing	the	place	,	and	winds	up	shooting	the	store	clerk	,	aizawa	(	daimond	yukai	)	.	aizawa	has	his	own	problems	.	he's	got	a	band	(	and	judging	from	the	brief	clip	we	see	,	where	yukai	himself	performs	,	they're	pretty	good	)	,	but	he's	got	a	yakuza	boss	squeezing	him	for	cash	,	a	girlfriend	who	he	doesn't	care	for	,	and	a	drug	addiction	.	when	yasuda	shoots	him	(	it	isn't	much	of	a	wound	,	actually	)	,	aizawa	takes	off	after	him	,	and	they	collide	with	takeda	.	takeda	is	a	yakuza	protector	,	walking	around	in	a	funk	because	despite	his	oaths	of	fealty	,	he	chickened	out	when	someone	tried	to	attack	his	boss	(	and	let	the	man	get	stabbed	to	death	)	.	aizawa	and	yasuda	collide	with	him	,	and	an	innocent	bystander	gets	shot	as	well	and	now	takeda	is	after	them	.	and	they	run	,	run	,	run	for	something	like	80	of	the	running	time	(	pardon	the	pun	)	of	"	dangan	runner	"	,	in	a	crazy	marathon	of	self	determination	.	each	of	them	has	a	reason	to	keep	going	,	and	pretty	soon	it	becomes	all	that's	holding	them	together	.	(	there	are	moments	where	the	"	marathon	"	aspect	is	explicitly	parodied	,	like	when	each	of	them	grab	free	drinks	being	offered	at	a	promotional	stand	.	but	the	joke	doesn't	end	there	.	)	astute	viewers	will	probably	no	doubt	find	similarities	between	this	and	"	lola	rennt	run	lola	run	"	,	but	"	dangan	runner	"	is	its	own	animal	,	funny	and	fast	moving	.	there	is	a	kind	of	a	nod	to	the	parallel	reality	jaunting	of	"	lola	"	in	one	screamingly	funny	scene	,	the	three	runners	jog	past	a	pretty	young	woman	,	and	each	of	them	entertains	varied	pornographic	fantasies	about	her	.	they're	not	alone	in	their	dreaming	,	either	:	the	cops	and	the	yakuza	have	their	own	hilariously	realized	fantasies	about	how	they'd	like	things	to	unfold	as	well	.	"	dangan	runner	"	is	not	the	greatest	movie	ever	made	,	but	at	82	minutes	it's	tight	and	fresh	.	i	understand	that	director	hiroyuki	tanaka	is	something	of	a	great	white	hope	for	japanese	film	right	now	,	and	seeing	this	movie	it's	not	hard	to	see	why	.
pos	the	first	thing	that	hit	me	about	"	twentyfourseven	"	was	the	starkness	of	the	black	and	white	film	and	the	bareness	of	the	sets	.	that	combined	with	the	film's	slow	pacing	and	simple	plot	make	the	first	half	of	the	film	feel	very	long	.	at	the	center	of	"	twentyfourseven	"	is	bob	hoskins	as	darcy	,	a	middle	aged	man	from	a	relatively	rural	area	in	england	.	although	not	an	obvious	leader	,	darcy	finds	the	motivation	within	himself	to	open	a	boxing	club	for	the	local	youth	.	it	is	his	impression	that	this	club	,	like	the	one	he	had	as	a	teen	,	will	restore	camaraderie	and	pride	to	the	troubled	lads	.	with	its	simple	no	budget	look	,	the	film	seems	to	have	little	going	for	it	on	first	glance	.	the	often	documentary	type	camera	movements	,	intermittent	jump	cuts	,	and	sometimes	peculiar	shooting	angles	could	contribute	to	an	impression	that	first	time	feature	film	director	shane	meadows	is	not	quite	ready	for	such	a	large	scale	project	.	around	the	middle	of	the	film	though	,	we	begin	to	see	what	meadows	is	trying	to	show	us	.	his	film	is	not	an	epic	.	it	is	a	character	study	of	a	small	town	and	how	one	man	in	that	town	tries	to	deal	with	its	problems	.	with	little	plot	to	concern	him	,	meadows	prefers	to	dwell	on	character	development	and	how	the	relationships	between	darcy	and	the	lads	develop	.	the	lack	of	production	values	,	the	slow	pacing	,	and	the	leisurely	plot	allow	meadows	to	dwell	exclusively	on	these	relationships	without	distracting	the	audience	.	ironically	,	the	film's	major	flaw	may	be	that	it	spends	too	much	time	chronicling	the	rise	and	fall	of	hoskins'	darcy	,	and	not	enough	time	letting	us	get	to	know	the	other	characters	.	the	plot	is	inconsequential	.	the	power	of	the	movie	comes	in	how	it	paints	for	us	a	scene	of	a	society	and	a	people	we	have	never	met	,	yet	after	100	minutes	come	to	feel	intimately	familiar	with	.	"	twentyfourseven	"	is	a	strong	character	picture	,	and	could	not	have	succeeded	without	excellent	performances	by	hoskins	,	in	his	most	complex	role	yet	,	and	a	strong	supporting	cast	of	relative	newcomers	led	by	danny	nussbaum	as	tim	.	meadows	substitutes	passion	and	energy	for	his	lack	of	experience	in	making	this	film	.	in	the	end	,	he	gives	us	a	telling	view	of	his	own	youth	.
pos	robert	benton	has	assembled	a	stellar	,	mature	cast	for	his	latest	feature	,	twilight	,	a	film	noir	mystery	set	amid	the	fading	stars	of	hollywood	.	paul	newman	stars	as	retired	detective	harry	ross	.	harry	has	spent	the	last	couple	of	years	doing	odd	jobs	for	jack	and	catherine	ames	(	gene	hackman	and	susan	sarandon	)	,	a	pair	of	married	actors	who	have	fallen	from	the	limelight	.	when	jack	sends	him	on	a	routine	delivery	job	,	however	,	the	old	instincts	kick	in	.	soon	,	harry	is	wading	through	a	mystery	where	friendships	and	lives	are	on	the	line	,	and	he	no	longer	knows	who	to	trust	.	there	are	plenty	of	familiar	faces	throughout	twilight	,	in	addition	to	newman	,	hackman	and	sarandon	.	james	garner	plays	raymond	hope	,	a	former	cop	and	one	of	harry's	best	friends	.	stockard	channing	plays	verna	,	harry's	former	partner	,	and	possibly	a	former	love	interest	.	reese	witherspoon	is	mel	,	the	distrustful	daughter	of	the	ames'	,	and	liev	schrieber	is	her	scuzzy	boyfriend	.	giancarlo	esposito	appears	as	harry's	bumbling	detective	protigi	,	and	john	spencer	is	a	suspicious	police	captain	.	with	a	cast	like	that	,	it's	almost	worth	watching	twilight	just	to	stargaze	.	luckily	,	there's	more	to	the	film	than	some	sort	of	actor's	recognition	ceremony	.	twilight	has	a	solid	film	noir	ish	plot	.	it	may	not	have	as	many	twists	and	turns	as	some	of	the	classics	,	but	it	has	much	more	than	a	lot	of	what	passes	for	film	these	days	.	the	major	cast	members	all	deliver	strong	performances	,	as	can	be	expected	of	their	caliber	.	however	,	none	of	them	have	that	little	extra	oomph	which	would	make	them	memorable	.	the	supporting	cast	is	enjoyable	,	if	a	little	underdrawn	.	stockard	channing's	character	,	in	particular	,	is	a	cipher	.	there's	more	to	her	character	than	the	film	takes	the	time	to	describe	.	it's	a	minor	,	but	irritating	,	flaw	.	with	a	solid	cast	,	and	a	good	plot	,	there's	a	lot	to	recommend	about	twilight	.	it's	biggest	flaw	is	actually	its	short	running	time	.	at	a	slim	94	minutes	,	there's	a	lot	of	stuff	that's	packed	into	an	awfully	small	package	.	still	,	the	chance	to	see	newman	,	sarandon	and	hackman	working	together	is	worth	a	cramp	or	two	.
pos	rating	:	out	of	7	.	5	out	of	10	.	0	cast	:	val	kilmer	(	simon	templar	)	,	elisabeth	shue	(	emma	russell	)	,	rade	serbedzija	(	ivan	tretiak	)	,	irina	apeximova	(	frankie	)	,	valeri	nikolayev	(	ilya	)	,	lucija	serbedzija	(	sofiya	)	certification	:	pg	13	(	usa	)	for	violence	,	language	,	some	sensuality	,	and	brief	drug	use	the	saint	was	actually	a	little	better	than	i	expected	it	to	be	,	in	some	ways	.	in	this	theatrical	remake	of	the	television	series	the	saint	,	and	its	series	sequel	the	return	of	the	saint	,	val	kilmer	plays	simon	templar	,	an	elusive	thief	who	makes	a	living	by	stealing	things	from	others	for	others	.	this	movie	closely	resembles	a	james	bond	flick	.	it	has	the	classic	bond	symbols	:	a	man	who	can	do	just	about	anything	and	get	away	with	it	,	a	woman	whom	the	man	persues	,	a	villain	out	to	achieve	something	for	himself	who	kills	anyone	to	reach	this	goal	.	kilmer	actually	provides	a	rather	good	role	in	this	movie	,	although	at	times	you	are	left	to	ponder	how	he	actually	gets	out	of	the	many	tight	situations	.	the	movie	begins	in	his	childhood	in	a	strict	school	run	by	catholic	priests	.	as	a	young	boy	,	kilmer's	character	enjoyed	magic	and	would	often	journey	away	from	his	schoolwork	.	that	is	until	his	school	teacher	finds	him	reading	a	book	and	demands	that	the	young	boy	proclaim	his	name	,	that	of	a	catholic	saint	.	he	refuses	to	do	so	and	instead	announces	who	he	wishes	to	be	.	this	leads	to	a	devestating	mistake	,	which	is	something	that	will	stay	in	his	mind	throughout	his	life	.	kilmer's	first	mission	that	we	are	shown	is	to	steal	a	microchip	from	ivan	tretiak	,	played	by	rade	serbedzija	.	during	a	press	conference	,	he	must	make	his	way	into	a	heavily	guarded	vault	area	,	avoiding	guards	,	cameras	,	and	many	other	potential	obstacles	.	once	his	mission	is	completed	and	he	is	safely	home	,	the	fee	is	paid	.	when	he	logs	into	his	bank	account	and	finds	that	he	is	only	a	few	million	dollars	short	of	50	million	,	he	decides	to	carry	out	only	one	more	mission	,	then	retire	.	dr	.	emma	russell	,	portrayed	by	elisabeth	shue	,	has	discovered	a	way	to	produce	energy	by	way	of	cold	fusion	.	this	new	advancement	would	change	the	world	and	save	thousands	of	lives	in	the	areas	of	russia	,	where	millions	are	without	heat	and	are	freezing	to	death	.	the	only	problem	is	,	tretiak	would	like	to	have	this	for	himself	and	use	it	to	gain	power	amongst	the	people	.	this	presents	the	option	for	kilmer	to	achieve	his	goal	.	tretiak	hires	him	to	steal	the	equations	,	small	pieces	of	paper	,	from	shue	.	one	of	the	enjoyable	features	in	the	film	is	the	disguises	that	kilmer	dawns	to	complete	his	missions	.	they	are	very	convincing	,	not	only	to	the	characters	in	the	movie	,	but	to	us	.	kilmer	utilizes	one	such	disguise	to	lure	shue's	character	into	getting	to	know	him	even	more	,	which	would	provide	him	a	means	of	stealing	the	energy	formula	.	when	the	two	meet	,	and	end	up	having	a	sensual	experience	,	kilmer's	character	is	seemingly	falling	in	love	with	emma	russell	,	as	she	is	falling	in	love	with	kilmer's	alter	ego	,	a	traveling	artist	.	yet	,	he	must	reach	his	goal	of	50	million	,	which	requires	him	to	steal	the	energy	formula	,	putting	his	feelings	aside	.	shue's	character	is	eventually	able	to	track	down	simon	templar	by	putting	the	pieces	(	the	names	of	the	catholic	saints	)	together	,	something	no	one	else	is	able	to	do	.	when	she	finds	him	,	they	are	left	to	team	up	and	reclaim	the	energy	formulas	from	tretiak	.	the	saint	is	very	action	packed	,	with	few	slow	points	.	the	sound	was	very	well	done	and	added	to	the	many	intense	moments	.	along	the	course	of	the	movie	,	there	are	even	a	few	,	although	brief	moments	of	comedy	.	these	moments	are	almost	always	thanks	to	kilmer's	extraneous	,	very	convincing	disguises	and	personalities	.	all	in	all	,	a	rather	enjoyable	movie	with	nearly	non	stop	action	.	hr	david	landers	a	href	"	mailto	:	dml	gwis	.	com	"	dml	gwis	.	com	a	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	"	http	:	www	.	gwis	.	com	dml	a	hr
pos	planet	of	the	apes	(	2001	)	mark	wahlberg	,	tim	roth	,	helena	bonham	carter	,	michael	clarke	duncan	,	paul	giamatti	,	estella	warren	,	cary	hiroyuki	tagawa	,	david	warner	,	kris	kristofferson	,	lisa	marie	,	erick	avari	,	evan	dexter	parke	.	special	make	up	effects	by	rick	baker	.	music	by	danny	elfman	.	screenplay	by	william	broyles	jr	.	,	lawrence	konner	and	mark	rosenthal	,	based	on	a	novel	by	pierre	boulle	.	directed	by	tim	burton	.	105	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	,	3	.	5	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	because	the	press	screening	of	"	planet	of	the	apes	"	was	one	day	past	last	issue's	deadline	,	i	was	afforded	the	opportunity	to	see	the	film	a	second	time	,	listen	to	audience	reactions	and	read	a	heap	of	reviews	before	writing	this	piece	.	the	chief	complaints	of	those	who	disliked	the	futuristic	adventure	appear	to	be	that	the	movie	focused	on	visuals	instead	of	substance	,	that	the	story	was	thin	,	that	mark	wahlberg's	character	was	colorless	and	that	the	surprise	ending	sucked	.	to	those	people	i	would	like	to	say	what	the	hell	did	you	expect	?	this	is	a	tim	burton	movie	,	boys	and	girls	.	tim	burton	movies	have	great	art	direction	and	thin	,	clunky	stories	.	for	the	blissfully	nasty	,	disjointed	and	underrated	"	mars	attacks	!	"	(	jonathan	rosenbaum	of	the	chicago	reader	and	i	were	two	of	the	only	critics	in	america	to	praise	the	movie	)	burton	reportedly	tossed	vintage	"	mars	attacks	!	"	trading	cards	onto	the	floor	and	based	his	story	on	the	ones	that	landed	face	up	.	burton's	re	imagining	of	the	1968	story	of	an	astronaut	that	lands	on	a	planet	where	apes	rule	men	looks	great	.	the	apes	,	courtesy	of	make	up	magician	rick	baker	,	are	dazzling	and	ape	city	is	a	wonder	to	behold	.	like	astronaut	leo	davidson	(	wahlberg	)	,	the	film	hits	the	ground	running	,	whisking	viewers	through	a	head	spinning	series	of	solid	one	liners	and	engaging	vignettes	and	establishing	a	sense	of	thrust	that	carries	us	through	the	more	traditional	fight	scenes	that	come	later	.	as	for	wahlberg	,	consider	what	burton	does	with	his	character	.	from	his	start	as	a	filmmaker	,	burton	has	shown	his	fascination	with	colorful	misfits	(	pee	wee	herman	,	the	joker	,	ed	wood	,	the	ack	acking	martians	,	etc	.	)	and	lack	of	interest	in	standard	issue	heroes	.	so	leo	davidson	spends	most	of	the	movie	getting	the	living	shit	kicked	out	of	him	before	the	biggest	guilt	trip	in	history	is	dropped	on	his	shoulders	.	as	for	lack	of	color	,	remember	,	leo	only	launches	into	space	to	get	his	monkey	back	.	he	doesn't	want	to	lead	humanity	and	he	isn't	looking	for	romance	from	a	pretty	,	but	dull	human	(	estella	warren	)	or	a	dynamic	ape	(	helena	bonham	carter	,	terrific	as	an	equal	rights	activist	)	.	as	a	man	who	just	wants	out	,	wahlberg	is	focused	,	subtle	and	sly	.	the	surprise	ending	provides	the	requisite	shock	(	and	some	more	dandy	visuals	,	particularly	of	the	approaching	authority	figures	)	,	but	admittedly	isn't	nearly	as	satisfying	as	the	one	in	the	original	.	for	the	original	ending	to	work	,	we	only	had	to	make	one	simple	connection	,	for	this	one	,	we	have	to	write	a	whole	new	screenplay	.	the	1968	"	apes	"	boasted	a	handful	of	great	scenes	,	cool	looking	monkeys	,	a	deliciously	hammy	performance	by	charlton	heston	(	who	appears	uncredited	here	as	an	aged	chimp	on	his	deathbed	,	re	delivering	a	classic	line	)	and	a	killer	ending	.	but	viewers	had	to	suffer	through	numerous	dull	stretches	punctuated	by	social	and	political	messages	delivered	with	the	grace	of	a	wrecking	ball	.	the	2001	"	planet	of	the	apes	"	offers	a	different	set	of	great	scenes	,	much	cooler	looking	monkeys	,	fine	acting	from	wahlberg	,	bonham	carter	,	paul	giamatti	and	tim	roth	,	and	a	not	so	good	ending	.	it	also	gives	us	another	chance	to	experience	the	skewed	vision	of	tim	burton	and	that's	nothing	to	complain	about	.
pos	directed	by	steven	soderbergh	.	cast	:	andie	macdowell	,	james	spader	,	peter	gallagher	,	laura	san	giacomo	.	1989	99	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	profanity	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	october	28	,	1998	.	steve	soderbergh's	"	sex	,	lies	,	and	videotape	,	"	which	won	the	grand	prize	at	the	cannes	film	festival	in	1989	,	arguably	began	the	resurgence	of	independent	films	.	made	on	a	shoestring	budget	of	1	.	2	million	,	with	then	relatively	unknown	actors	,	it	is	a	provocative	,	thoroughly	original	drama	.	the	film	mostly	focuses	on	the	four	central	characters	,	all	in	their	late	20's	early	30's	.	ann	(	andie	macdowell	)	,	an	unfulfilled	housewife	,	is	married	to	john	(	peter	gallagher	)	,	an	insensitive	lawyer	,	who	,	unbeknownst	to	her	,	is	having	an	affair	with	her	younger	sister	,	cynthia	(	laura	san	giacomo	)	.	complicating	matters	even	worse	is	graham	(	james	spader	,	who	won	best	actor	at	cannes	)	,	john's	old	college	buddy	,	who	comes	to	stay	at	their	house	.	ann	is	absolutely	won	over	by	him	,	even	though	she	clearly	has	stated	that	she	has	very	little	interest	in	sex	.	that	is	the	set	up	for	the	last	hour	of	the	picture	,	and	since	the	film	is	entitled	,	"	sex	,	lies	,	and	videotape	,	"	it	is	best	to	keep	the	rest	of	the	story	developments	at	bay	so	that	they	will	come	as	a	genuine	surprise	.	director	steven	soderbergh	has	proven	to	be	a	wildly	offbeat	filmmaker	,	ranging	from	the	independent	,	to	the	mainstream	(	1998's	"	out	of	sight	"	)	,	to	the	downright	kafkaesque	(	1997's	"	schizopolis	"	)	.	he	is	the	type	of	director	who	obviously	takes	a	lot	of	chances	,	and	believes	in	the	work	that	he	does	,	and	,	"	sex	,	lies	,	and	videotape	,	"	is	probably	his	most	confident	,	and	maybe	even	best	,	to	date	.	the	performances	are	superb	from	all	four	leads	,	but	macdowell	stands	out	in	what	is	probably	the	main	character	.	she	is	always	a	very	winning	actress	,	but	this	is	probably	her	most	three	dimensional	role	that	she	has	had	(	with	a	close	second	being	altman's	1993	mosaic	,	"	short	cuts	"	)	.	the	other	parts	are	perfectly	cast	as	well	,	from	spader's	ominous	graham	,	to	gallagher's	self	involved	john	,	to	giacomo's	outspoken	cynthia	.	the	final	act	of	the	film	,	especially	,	comes	right	out	of	left	field	,	and	turns	out	to	be	both	shocking	and	oddly	touching	,	and	it	would	be	criminal	to	give	away	the	film's	secrets	.	suffice	to	say	that	,	through	one	powerful	sequence	,	ann	is	able	to	somewhat	come	out	of	her	shell	,	and	john	learns	a	valuable	lesson	about	honesty	,	as	well	as	deception	.	the	film	has	one	fault	,	however	.	the	characters	are	almost	all	emotionally	cold	and	isolated	from	one	another	,	and	often	unlikable	.	if	there	had	been	a	few	extra	scenes	with	gallagher	,	it	probably	would	have	helped	,	since	his	relationship	with	macdowell	isn't	quite	as	explored	as	i	would	have	liked	.	"	sex	,	lies	,	and	videotape	,	"	although	minorly	flawed	,	is	still	easily	a	brave	and	adult	motion	picture	that	is	far	more	mature	and	honest	about	its	subject	matter	than	the	usual	film	.	soderbergh	clearly	knew	what	he	was	doing	while	he	was	making	it	,	and	the	final	product	certainly	proves	this	.	copyright	1999	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	haven	a
pos	with	the	abundance	of	trite	,	recycled	movies	in	the	late	'90s	,	there	is	a	tremendous	demand	by	movie	lovers	(	never	mind	movie	critics	)	for	movies	that	present	the	wide	film	audience	with	something	truly	original	:	perhaps	audaciously	,	perhaps	purely	thematically	.	for	the	former	,	you	need	look	no	further	than	director	tom	tykwer's	incredible	german	thriller	run	lola	run	,	a	movie	that	may	make	some	viewers	need	a	cooling	off	period	afterwards	.	lola	,	a	contemporary	goth	girl	with	blazing	red	hair	receives	a	desperate	phone	call	from	her	boyfriend	manni	one	day	.	it	seems	that	because	she	was	late	delivering	something	he	lost	a	bag	containing	a	hundred	thousand	marks	,	and	if	he	doesn't	deliver	a	hundred	thousand	marks	within	the	next	twenty	minutes	,	he	will	be	killed	.	this	gives	lola	twenty	minutes	to	come	up	with	100	,	000	marks	,	or	her	boyfriend	dies	.	so	she	runs	not	just	jogs	,	sprints	in	hopes	that	somehow	,	someway	,	she'll	be	able	to	obtain	the	money	and	save	a	life	.	from	there	,	as	critic	steve	rhodes	described	it	,	run	lola	run	plays	a	bit	like	"	sliding	doors	on	steroids	.	with	a	non	stop	techno	soundtrack	,	wierd	camerawork	,	all	kinds	of	insane	zooms	and	a	truly	breakneck	pace	,	anyone	that	is	bored	with	run	lola	run	has	to	be	smoking	something	.	indeed	,	the	movie	is	often	outrageously	exciting	,	as	well	as	bitterly	ironic	and	subtly	serious	.	very	much	like	titanic	,	run	lola	run	is	an	achievement	with	filmmaking	much	more	than	it	is	an	achievement	in	film	.	the	way	the	movie	is	made	,	for	pure	visual	style	,	tykwer's	movie	is	breathtaking	(	literally	,	sometimes	)	.	thematically	it	does	leave	something	to	be	desired	;	it	toys	around	with	some	intriguing	ideas	but	does	occasionally	seem	as	if	there	is	little	substance	behind	all	of	the	flash	.	while	you	are	watching	,	this	will	not	matter	.	running	a	breezy	81	minutes	,	this	is	one	movie	i	wished	was	longer	because	it	was	so	damn	good	while	it	lasted	.	it	is	the	equivalent	of	a	roller	coaster	in	the	amount	of	thrills	and	fun	that	it	offers	.	1999	eugene	novikov	137	;	posted	via	deja	news	,	the	discussion	network	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	a	search	,	read	,	discuss	,	or	start	your	own
pos	"	i'd	rather	die	today	and	go	to	heaven	than	live	to	be	a	hundred	and	go	to	hell	,	"	earnestly	proclaims	the	pentecostal	preacher	.	with	that	line	coming	from	a	fundamentalist	christian	minister	,	hollywood	has	taught	us	how	we	should	fill	in	the	rest	of	the	story	.	he	will	be	turn	out	to	be	a	scoundrel	who	has	less	actual	belief	in	god	than	the	average	american	,	and	all	of	his	preaching	will	turn	out	to	be	a	cynical	ruse	to	extort	money	from	his	naive	congregation	.	from	elmer	gantry	on	,	we	have	learned	what	to	expect	when	the	movies	go	to	church	.	well	,	think	again	,	for	the	apostle	,	which	robert	duvall	has	wanted	to	make	for	over	a	decade	,	does	not	take	the	usual	tack	of	smearing	the	minister	,	and	by	implication	all	,	the	rest	of	organized	religion	.	instead	it	gives	us	a	highly	devout	man	,	who	certainly	has	his	foibles	,	but	with	an	absolute	dedication	to	his	ministry	and	his	god	.	and	arguably	just	as	surprising	,	the	good	spirited	film	is	no	comedy	,	even	if	it	does	have	humorous	moments	.	instead	of	levity	the	picture	takes	a	touchingly	serious	approach	as	it	introduces	us	to	a	world	not	normally	seen	in	motion	pictures	.	when	in	the	privacy	of	his	attic	,	robert	duvall	,	as	texas	preacher	euliss	"	sonny	"	dewey	,	argues	sternly	with	his	lord	,	the	scene	shares	a	kinship	with	emily	watson's	character	crying	out	for	her	god	in	breaking	the	waves's	most	powerful	scene	.	the	body	of	the	story	starts	with	sonny's	coming	upon	an	horrific	auto	accident	,	which	is	another	part	of	life	generally	ignored	by	modern	screenwriters	.	with	his	well	worn	bible	in	hand	,	sonny	leaps	from	his	car	so	that	he	can	go	pray	over	and	with	the	accident's	dying	victims	.	the	scowling	police	officer	orders	him	to	go	away	,	and	,	after	he	has	tried	to	work	his	miracles	,	sonny	leaves	with	a	smile	in	the	confidence	that	he	has	done	the	lord's	work	.	robert	duvall	not	only	gives	a	moving	and	realistic	performance	surely	destined	to	receive	an	academy	award	nomination	but	is	also	the	film's	director	,	writer	,	executive	producer	,	and	chief	financier	.	rarely	has	a	movie	been	such	a	labor	of	love	.	with	a	white	suit	,	peach	colored	shirt	and	tie	,	and	dark	sunglasses	,	sonny	looks	as	much	like	a	rock	star	as	a	preacher	.	duvall	has	every	movement	down	pat	.	even	when	he	is	walking	down	the	street	,	the	ever	strutting	sonny	cannot	contain	his	energy	.	he	dances	and	claps	all	the	way	.	sonny's	churches	having	more	black	members	than	white	means	that	he	shares	his	preaching	duties	with	many	deep	voiced	black	orators	,	but	his	rhetoric	is	always	competitive	.	"	i	may	be	on	the	devil's	hit	list	,	but	i'm	on	god's	mailing	list	,	"	he	shouts	to	the	congregation	in	a	revival	tent	.	and	they	lap	it	up	.	people	jump	up	,	scream	,	"	praise	the	lord	!	"	and	mean	it	.	the	intensity	of	their	shared	religious	experience	is	palpable	.	but	sonny	is	no	saint	.	it	turns	out	that	he	has	a	wandering	eye	,	which	angers	his	wife	jessie	,	played	in	a	remarkably	controlled	performance	by	farrah	fawcett	.	jessie	gets	her	revenge	by	taking	up	with	the	church's	youth	minister	and	conniving	to	gain	control	over	sonny's	church	,	leaving	him	unemployed	.	sonny	,	letting	his	temper	get	the	best	of	him	,	does	something	foolish	,	which	causes	him	to	have	to	leave	town	and	two	beloved	kids	forever	.	the	bulk	of	the	film	occurs	in	a	small	,	predominately	black	church	in	louisiana	,	which	he	builds	up	from	a	derelict	building	with	no	congregation	into	a	remodeled	church	(	"	one	way	road	to	heaven	:	holiness	temple	"	)	with	an	enthusiastic	flock	.	in	this	part	he	rebaptizes	himself	as	the	apostle	e	.	f	.	the	apostle	is	a	hard	worker	willing	to	take	on	any	odd	job	necessary	to	obtain	the	funds	for	his	church	.	he	asks	his	members	to	tithe	,	but	he	gives	all	of	his	money	.	and	his	good	deeds	extend	to	secret	donations	of	food	for	the	local	poor	folks	.	a	man	who	can't	stand	to	be	still	,	he	tells	one	of	his	friends	,	"	i	quit	school	because	i	didn't	like	recess	.	"	in	his	new	town	he	meets	toosie	(	miranda	richardson	)	,	who	,	like	him	,	has	a	family	that	she	hasn't	seen	in	a	while	.	his	romance	with	the	separated	woman	,	like	the	rest	of	the	film	,	doesn't	follow	the	standard	patterns	we	have	grown	to	expect	from	our	movies	.	billy	bob	thornton	shows	up	one	day	playing	a	local	racist	and	general	troublemaker	.	his	confrontation	with	the	apostle	is	yet	another	of	show's	many	surprising	scenes	,	again	breaking	many	rules	and	conceptions	about	what	approach	deeply	religious	people	might	take	.	although	it	probably	couldn't	have	ended	any	other	way	,	the	movie	does	wrap	things	up	nicely	.	and	don't	miss	the	sweet	epilogue	during	the	film's	closing	credits	.	a	tour	de	force	acting	performance	by	duvall	and	a	surprising	and	unrelentingly	dedicated	script	makes	for	an	outstanding	and	moving	film	.	the	apostle	runs	a	little	too	long	at	2	:	12	.	it	is	rated	pg	13	for	mild	profanity	and	brief	violence	and	would	be	fine	for	kids	eleven	and	up	.
pos	directed	by	james	mangold	.	screenplay	by	mangold	,	lisa	loomer	and	anna	hamilton	phelan	,	based	on	the	book	by	susanna	kaysen	.	starring	winona	ryder	,	angelina	jolie	,	whoopi	goldberg	.	running	time	:	147	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	mature	subject	matter	and	offensive	language	.	reviewed	on	february	28th	,	2000	.	shortly	after	her	1967	high	school	graduation	,	susanna	kaysen	(	winona	ryder	)	nearly	kills	herself	with	a	cocktail	of	aspirin	and	vodka	.	"	i	had	a	headache	,	"	she	explains	after	being	committed	to	the	claymoore	mental	hospital	.	but	susanna's	brush	with	death	is	really	symptomatic	of	the	sheer	aimlessness	of	her	life	.	she	is	the	only	member	of	her	class	not	heading	off	for	college	.	while	much	of	the	united	states	is	swept	up	in	the	furor	of	the	vietnam	war	,	susanna	seems	almost	oblivious	.	so	it	is	hardly	surprising	that	someone	so	lacking	in	direction	could	allow	control	of	her	life	to	be	handed	to	the	doctors	and	nurses	at	claymoore	.	at	least	now	,	direction	will	be	forced	on	her	if	nothing	else	.	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	is	based	on	true	events	,	depicted	in	kaysen's	book	of	the	same	title	.	kaysen	lost	a	year	and	a	half	of	her	life	in	a	women's	mental	ward	,	and	the	film	recounts	the	experiences	which	inspired	susanna	to	retake	control	of	her	own	destiny	.	despite	a	lack	of	real	incident	,	the	first	half	of	the	movie	is	riveting	.	we	are	introduced	to	some	of	the	other	girls	in	susanna's	ward	,	including	a	disfigured	young	pyrophile	named	polly	(	elizabeth	moss	)	;	susanna's	roommate	georgina	(	clea	duvall	)	,	who	seeks	refuge	in	the	"	oz	"	books	of	l	frank	baum	;	and	daisy	(	brittany	murphy	)	,	a	woman	with	peculiar	dietary	beliefs	.	these	characters	are	portrayed	evenhandedly	;	their	mental	problems	are	neither	sugarcoated	nor	demonized	,	and	they	seem	real	.	watching	over	everything	is	valerie	(	whoopi	goldberg	)	,	a	stern	but	caring	nurse	who	understands	in	minutes	what	the	psychiatrists	themselves	never	really	figure	out	:	that	susanna	has	come	to	claymoore	not	for	help	,	but	simply	to	be	.	"	do	not	drop	anchor	here	,	"	valerie	warns	susanna	,	knowing	that	the	doctors	are	perfectly	content	to	keep	her	locked	up	forever	.	since	there	is	nothing	really	wrong	with	susanna	,	how	can	she	ever	be	cured	?	everything	is	stirred	up	by	the	arrival	of	lisa	(	angelina	jolie	)	,	an	aggressive	young	woman	who	is	no	stranger	to	claymoore	.	despite	the	fact	that	lisa	herself	has	no	desire	to	remain	hospitalized	(	when	we	first	meet	her	,	she	has	just	been	recaptured	after	a	two	week	absence	)	,	it	is	her	presence	which	is	susanna's	most	attractive	reason	for	staying	in	the	asylum	.	lisa	plays	the	leader	of	the	ragtag	band	of	patients	,	taking	them	on	secret	midnight	excursions	through	secret	passages	and	into	restricted	areas	of	the	hospital	.	for	a	time	,	claymoore	seems	less	like	an	insane	asylum	and	more	like	summer	camp	.	of	course	,	a	mental	ward	is	not	summer	camp	,	and	eventually	events	conspire	to	remind	susanna	of	this	fact	.	it	is	this	reality	and	how	susanna	reacts	to	it	which	comprises	the	film's	second	,	more	uneven	half	.	much	of	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	is	a	careful	character	study	.	we	are	witness	to	how	insanity	affects	everyone	from	the	delusional	themselves	,	to	those	charged	with	their	care	,	to	the	average	people	who	by	some	happenstance	come	into	contact	with	them	.	the	film	also	observes	how	madness	can	be	a	relative	and	elusive	concept	.	some	of	claymoore's	patients	have	no	business	being	there	(	susanna	herself	,	for	instance	)	,	while	some	are	there	purely	because	of	social	tenets	which	today	seem	increasingly	outdated	(	one	woman's	only	"	problem	"	is	that	she	is	a	lesbian	)	.	but	,	more	darkly	,	not	all	of	those	released	and	declared	sane	truly	are	,	and	this	sets	up	the	movie's	most	disturbing	sequence	.	unfortunately	,	after	an	hour	of	terrific	characterization	and	well	chosen	set	pieces	,	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	's	final	twenty	minutes	are	a	huge	step	backward	into	melodrama	.	these	scenes	feel	awkwardly	grafted	onto	the	rest	of	the	film	,	as	though	scriptwriters	james	mangold	(	who	also	directed	)	,	lisa	loomer	and	anna	hamilton	phelan	were	afraid	audiences	would	not	be	satisfied	with	a	straightforward	character	study	.	instead	,	the	movie	ends	with	a	lot	of	contrived	angst	and	,	yes	,	even	a	chase	scene	(	albeit	one	that	is	nicely	photographed	by	mangold	)	.	the	cast	is	well	chosen	;	while	it	would	be	very	easy	to	play	any	of	the	claymoore	inmates	over	the	top	,	all	the	actors	stay	grounded	in	reality	,	and	this	lends	authenticity	to	the	picture	.	jolie	is	terrific	in	a	role	that	has	already	earned	her	an	oscar	nomination	and	golden	globe	award	.	of	all	the	characters	,	it	is	lisa	who	could	most	easily	have	been	taken	too	far	,	but	jolie	knows	her	limits	.	it	is	clear	that	she	is	having	a	great	deal	of	fun	in	the	role	;	jolie	really	gets	her	teeth	into	the	part	,	portraying	as	much	of	lisa's	personality	in	her	body	language	and	the	inflection	of	her	voice	as	in	her	actual	words	and	deeds	.	ryder's	performance	,	meanwhile	,	is	understated	but	not	bland	,	projecting	susanna's	uncertainty	and	desperation	while	making	it	clear	that	she	should	never	have	been	committed	.	denouement	aside	,	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	is	an	absorbing	venture	inside	the	walls	of	a	mental	institution	.	both	scripting	and	acting	are	up	to	the	challenge	of	translating	kaysen's	experiences	convincingly	onto	the	screen	.	although	it	lacks	the	power	and	drama	of	"	one	flew	over	the	cuckoo's	nest	"	,	to	which	it	is	perhaps	most	readily	comparable	,	"	girl	,	interrupted	"	should	not	be	overlooked	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	girlinterrupted	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	girlinterrupted	.	html	a
pos	i	like	movies	with	albert	brooks	,	and	i	really	like	movies	directed	and	written	by	albert	brooks	.	lost	in	america	and	defending	your	life	are	two	of	my	favorite	comedies	.	his	humor	is	of	a	kind	that	is	not	very	prevalent	in	movies	today	,	inundated	as	we	are	with	films	which	revel	in	their	aim	toward	the	lowest	common	denominator	.	you	will	rarely	see	any	slapstick	in	an	albert	brooks	film	,	while	the	dialog	will	not	be	as	oppressive	as	in	some	of	the	independent	"	talk	films	"	which	are	finding	their	way	into	theaters	.	the	situations	in	which	his	characters	find	themselves	are	ones	we	can	often	identify	with	,	but	even	if	we	can't	,	brooks	has	the	talent	to	make	them	comfortable	,	and	therefore	we	laugh	.	teenagers	and	jim	carrey	fans	probably	won't	find	an	albert	brooks	movie	very	funny	,	but	people	who	look	for	more	than	what	we	could	find	on	television	probably	will	.	put	simply	,	brooks'	comedy	is	intelligent	.	mother	is	albert	brooks'	latest	film	,	and	it	does	not	disappoint	.	brooks	plays	john	henderson	,	a	middle	aged	science	fiction	writer	just	coming	off	his	second	divorce	.	he	makes	an	attempt	at	dating	,	but	fails	miserably	.	he	then	has	dinner	with	his	brother	jeff	(	rob	morrow	)	,	a	successful	sports	agent	who	seems	to	live	the	ideal	life	.	jeff	has	a	good	job	,	a	loving	family	,	and	most	of	all	,	a	warm	relationship	with	their	mother	beatrice	(	debbie	reynolds	)	.	after	dinner	,	john	witnesses	a	telephone	conversation	between	jeff	and	beatrice	,	and	is	at	the	same	time	amazed	and	sickened	by	how	hunky	dory	the	dialog	is	.	in	comparison	,	beatrice	always	hints	at	a	fault	in	john	and	his	career	every	time	she	talks	with	him	,	and	john	gives	it	right	back	to	her	.	at	the	end	of	one	of	their	conversations	where	beatrice	has	just	picked	apart	john's	life	,	she	says	,	"	i	love	you	,	"	and	john	replies	with	,	"	i	know	you	think	you	do	.	"	the	thing	is	,	beatrice	is	not	overt	with	her	criticisms	,	but	instead	gives	them	in	that	mothering	way	which	is	tantamount	to	nit	picking	and	guilt	loading	.	it's	the	kind	that	goes	something	like	,	"	yes	,	dear	,	i	think	you	do	that	wonderfully	,	but	.	.	.	.	"	it	seems	as	though	nothing	he	does	makes	her	happy	.	there's	always	the	big	but	.	john	believes	that	his	mother	is	somehow	connected	to	his	failed	relationships	with	women	,	either	because	of	his	flawed	self	esteem	caused	by	his	need	for	validation	,	or	perhaps	because	he	tends	to	unconsciously	seek	out	women	who	remind	him	of	his	mother	in	an	oedipal	manner	.	he	comes	to	the	conclusion	that	since	his	problems	are	rooted	in	his	boyhood	home	,	he	should	move	back	in	with	his	mother	for	a	while	just	to	see	what	kinds	of	feelings	come	out	,	and	by	that	be	able	to	sort	out	why	his	life	is	the	way	it	is	.	"	a	great	experiment	"	,	he	calls	it	.	brooks'	own	brand	of	humor	really	shines	in	this	film	,	especially	in	the	interaction	john	has	with	his	mother	.	there's	a	scene	where	john	has	just	arrived	at	his	mother's	house	,	and	after	having	driven	from	los	angeles	to	sausalito	,	and	having	explained	to	his	mother	about	the	"	great	experiment	"	,	beatrice	asks	,	"	now	explain	to	me	again	why	you	don't	want	to	stay	at	a	hotel	.	"	she	still	doesn't	get	it	,	and	it	is	absolutely	hilarious	.	in	the	same	scene	,	we	get	little	glances	at	the	life	his	mother	leads	when	she	tries	to	feed	him	food	that	is	no	longer	fresh	.	she	apparently	buys	in	great	quantities	and	refrigerates	it	until	the	lettuce	is	wilted	and	the	sherbet	is	iced	over	.	when	john	points	out	the	ice	on	the	sherbet	,	beatrice	tells	him	not	to	worry	about	the	protective	glaze	.	"	you've	named	the	ice	?	"	asks	john	.	he's	also	surprised	at	the	variety	of	items	beatrice	keeps	in	the	refrigerator	,	such	as	a	twenty	pound	block	of	cheese	.	"	the	freezer	was	a	good	invention	,	"	says	john	,	"	but	it's	not	supposed	to	be	used	for	everything	.	that's	why	it's	smaller	than	the	refrigerator	.	"	it's	something	most	of	us	find	strangely	familiar	.	brooks	is	also	a	master	at	employing	the	non	sequitur	.	for	example	,	in	defending	your	life	,	his	and	meryl	streep's	characters	are	in	a	comedy	club	having	a	discussion	.	when	they're	finished	and	walk	out	,	brooks	cuts	to	the	comic	on	stage	who	is	just	at	the	point	of	delivering	his	punch	line	,	"	and	so	the	moral	is	,	if	you	have	to	fart	,	go	outside	!	"	you	don't	know	what	the	joke	was	because	you	couldn't	hear	him	during	the	entire	scene	,	but	i	must	have	laughed	for	the	next	five	minutes	,	it	seemed	so	out	of	context	.	in	this	film	,	brooks	uses	the	same	trick	a	couple	of	times	to	open	or	close	a	scene	.	i	don't	want	to	give	them	away	,	but	suffice	it	to	say	they	work	just	as	well	as	they	have	in	the	past	.	john's	purpose	for	staying	with	his	mother	is	to	learn	,	and	we	as	the	audience	learn	right	along	with	him	.	his	mother	is	not	the	fascinating	type	to	begin	with	,	but	as	john	spends	more	time	with	her	,	we	learn	things	about	her	personality	and	her	lifestyle	that	give	her	depth	.	watching	the	character	of	beatrice	unfold	is	every	bit	as	enjoyable	as	the	humor	that	accompanies	it	each	step	of	the	way	.	on	screen	,	brooks	does	an	excellent	job	playing	this	kind	of	character	:	you	get	the	feeling	he	often	believes	he	is	the	only	sane	person	in	an	insane	world	.	in	a	way	,	he's	very	much	like	yosarian	of	catch	22	,	expect	with	something	of	an	attitude	.	casting	debbie	reynolds	as	beatrice	is	perfect	.	she	assumes	the	part	with	ease	,	even	moving	and	speaking	a	little	slowly	,	and	is	just	so	adorable	it's	hard	to	get	mad	at	her	character	.	this	only	helps	the	audience	to	share	the	frustration	john	feels	when	dealing	with	her	.	as	his	first	choice	,	brooks	originally	wanted	to	lure	nancy	reagan	out	from	her	acting	retirement	to	play	beatrice	,	but	the	former	actress	and	first	lady	could	not	leave	her	husband	,	who	was	beginning	to	show	symptoms	of	alzheimer's	disease	.	that	may	be	just	as	well	,	since	reynolds	lends	a	softness	to	the	character	which	enhances	it	immensely	.	rob	morrow	also	does	a	good	job	at	playing	the	younger	brother	who	has	always	been	mother's	favorite	and	,	for	all	his	success	in	his	job	and	family	,	is	slowly	exposed	as	a	mama's	boy	.	the	only	things	that	hold	this	movie	back	from	being	better	are	a	couple	of	plot	holes	.	a	solid	connection	is	not	really	made	between	john's	troubles	and	his	reasons	for	living	with	his	mother	.	additionally	,	the	end	results	of	the	experiment	do	not	necessarily	jibe	with	the	stated	goals	,	and	although	this	may	have	been	sloppy	screenwriting	,	how	can	you	be	mad	at	the	guy	who	also	wrote	this	?	:	beatrice	:	you	must	think	i'm	some	kind	of	moron	.	john	:	no	,	i	think	your	someone	who	thinks	i'm	a	moron	.	beatrice	:	well	,	it	takes	one	to	know	one	.
pos	moviereviews	.	org	has	been	asked	to	start	collecting	a	list	of	readers	in	the	washington	,	dc	area	who	would	be	interested	in	attending	advanced	promotional	screenings	of	major	motion	pictures	for	free	.	if	this	interests	you	,	please	e	mail	moviereviews	.	org	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	passes	moviereviews	.	org	"	passes	moviereviews	.	org	a	with	your	name	and	zip	code	(	to	verify	that	you	are	in	the	washington	,	dc	area	)	.	then	check	back	at	moviereviews	.	org	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	moviereviews	.	org	"	http	:	www	.	moviereviews	.	org	a	)	as	often	as	you	like	to	see	what	screenings	you	could	be	eligible	to	attend	!	starting	on	christmas	eve	you	can	hear	mac	verstandig's	movie	reviews	on	the	radio	in	portland	,	maine	once	a	week	in	addition	to	reading	them	on	moviereviews	.	org	.	details	on	time	and	dial	placement	still	to	come	.	stay	tuned	!	a	copy	of	this	review	can	be	found	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	moviereviews	.	org	bicentennial	_	man	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	moviereviews	.	org	bicentennial	_	man	.	htm	a	bicentennial	man	is	an	impuissant	and	confused	movie	that	follows	a	robot	through	200	years	neglecting	to	ever	develop	another	character	in	depth	or	share	with	the	audience	that	the	title	referenced	bicentennial	will	mark	the	end	of	a	journey	that	seems	to	be	equally	as	long	and	laborious	for	the	audience	.	director	chris	columbus'	film	centers	around	a	not	very	entertaining	robin	williams	as	andrew	,	the	aforementioned	machine	,	and	his	trials	and	tribulations	which	are	as	unexplored	as	the	west	indies	that	other	guy	named	columbus	supposedly	discovered	.	in	"	the	not	too	distant	future	"	we	meet	the	martin	family	and	their	newest	household	appliance	:	andrew	.	our	protagabot	ventures	from	generation	to	generation	of	a	cliched	and	overly	dull	martin	family	mostly	women	.	he	also	comes	across	a	few	other	humans	and	robots	,	but	none	interesting	enough	to	warrant	any	attention	in	this	review	.	they	come	and	go	,	andrew	stays	,	and	the	movie	limps	it	way	through	a	jetsons	style	future	setting	.	now	banished	to	a	fate	worse	than	ordinary	reruns	,	tv	land	,	there	was	a	delightful	1960's	don	adams	show	(	that	fox	unsuccessfully	tried	to	bring	back	a	few	years	ago	)	called	get	smart	.	richard	gautier	,	a	relative	unknown	that	never	ventured	past	g	.	i	.	joe	fame	,	played	hymie	the	robot	.	much	like	andrew	,	hymie	was	a	machine	that	actively	sought	life	and	commonly	found	himself	in	hilarious	situations	were	his	inner	workings	were	experimented	with	ineptly	.	hymie	was	friendly	and	romantic	,	yet	inevitably	robotic	.	richard	gautier	may	not	be	robin	williams	,	but	the	show	is	just	as	funny	and	doesn't	cost	7	.	75	and	an	otherwise	good	friday	or	saturday	night	.	the	positive	end	of	this	almost	dead	battery	does	have	some	traits	of	which	to	boast	.	in	a	time	where	they	are	rare	,	bicentennial	man	is	a	movie	that	you	needn't	be	embarrassed	to	take	grandma	and	the	tots	to	.	robin	williams	is	very	funny	and	touching	with	some	traditional	disney	tear	jerking	scenes	.	the	explanation	offered	of	sex	is	edited	to	a	level	of	general	appropriateness	.	but	the	movie	is	even	confused	about	its	family	traits	as	we	learn	that	being	human	is	the	ultimate	accomplishment	and	you	needn't	mourn	the	dead	(	for	all	those	that	pass	away	,	only	one	tear	is	seen	)	.	we	are	also	told	that	imperfection	is	the	key	to	life	and	marriage	can	be	taken	lightly	.	this	film	also	marks	1999's	christmas	time	family	film	that	most	wants	to	be	the	next	miracle	on	34th	street	or	it's	a	wonderful	life	.	last	year	,	chris	columbus	entered	stepmom	into	this	notorious	yet	largely	unspoken	contest	,	following	his	slightly	more	appealing	earlier	bids	which	include	home	alone	and	mrs	.	doubtfire	.	mr	.	capra	,	rest	assured	,	we	don't	need	a	robot	to	locate	the	west	indies	.
pos	starring	sean	connery	,	catherine	zeta	jones	,	ving	rhames	and	will	pattonmovie	views	by	jamey	hughton	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a	anyone	who	says	sean	connery	is	getting	too	old	for	action	movies	hasn't	seen	his	latest	movie	.	connery	will	always	be	remembered	as	the	definitive	james	bond	,	and	in	entrapment	,	part	of	the	fun	is	watching	him	replay	certain	shades	that	made	his	portrayal	of	the	famous	spy	so	popular	.	his	age	is	starting	to	show	,	but	you	have	to	hand	it	to	mr	.	connery	,	because	he	sure	is	a	good	sport	.	in	entrapment	he	plays	mac	,	a	master	thief	with	high	tech	gadgets	for	scaling	buildings	and	stealing	antique	rembrandts	for	his	personal	collection	.	he	catches	the	eye	of	an	insurance	agent	(	!	!	)	named	gin	baker	,	catherine	zeta	jones	.	with	the	news	that	a	priceless	chinese	mask	is	being	displayed	in	a	london	museum	,	zeta	jones	knows	that	mac	won't	be	able	to	resist	the	chance	to	snatch	it	.	so	she	tracks	him	down	and	poses	as	a	thief	,	proposing	that	the	two	become	partners	in	crime	and	attempt	the	daring	heist	.	of	course	,	her	boss	(	will	patton	)	wants	her	to	bring	mac	in	afterward	.	but	carefully	predicting	the	pattern	of	their	meetings	,	you	can	surely	guess	that	their	relationship	will	escalate	to	something	more	than	business	.	zeta	jones	is	29	,	and	connery	is	now	68	.	with	this	enormous	age	differential	,	can	the	stars	still	create	believable	chemistry	?	the	answer	is	a	surprising	yes	.	director	jon	amiel	plays	their	relationship	on	a	different	level	than	just	a	love	story	,	in	fact	,	he	stages	their	confrontations	like	they	were	father	and	daughter	.	if	this	is	simply	a	massive	error	,	then	it	was	a	turn	for	the	better	,	because	this	way	the	stars	are	given	more	breathing	room	and	their	chemistry	is	still	believable	.	in	one	scene	toward	the	end	,	when	the	two	burglars	separate	,	you	realize	that	you	actually	care	about	their	situation	.	even	if	he	could	play	her	grandpa	.	one	disappointement	is	the	use	of	the	supporting	cast	.	ving	rhames	is	once	again	electric	and	involving	,	as	one	of	mac's	former	partners	,	but	he	is	criminally	underused	with	his	undemanding	role	.	maury	chaykin	hams	it	up	as	a	budha	like	art	dealer	.	will	patton	has	little	to	do	playing	zeta	jones'	boss	.	amiel	also	uses	a	fade	out	approach	to	end	many	of	his	scenes	,	which	gets	very	repetitive	very	quickly	.	but	,	entrapment	is	still	an	exciting	heist	adventure	that	glides	along	smoothly	after	a	bumpy	first	hour	.	the	final	robbery	that	the	duo	pull	,	an	8	billion	bank	caper	on	the	eve	of	the	millenium	,	is	simply	terrific	.	i	never	even	glanced	at	my	watch	through	the	two	hour	running	time	.	catherine	zeta	jones	gives	a	flawed	but	luminous	performance	,	and	connery	is	just	a	lot	of	fun	to	watch	.	reports	indicate	he	may	return	once	more	as	james	bond	.	no	matter	how	old	he	is	then	,	i'll	probably	still	buy	it	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a
pos	armageddon	(	1998	)	(	out	of	four	)	starring	bruce	willis	,	billy	bob	thornton	,	ben	affleck	,	liv	tyler	,	will	patton	,	steve	buscemi	,	michael	duncan	and	keith	david	directed	by	michael	bay	rated	pg	13	for	planetary	disaster	,	profanity	and	pillow	talk	theatrical	aspect	ratio	of	2	.	35	:	1	released	in	1998	running	150	minutes	armageddon	,	in	itself	,	symbolizes	everything	that	is	wrong	in	modern	filmmaking	.	stories	have	been	replaced	with	special	effects	;	character	development	gets	overshadowed	by	bad	dialogue	;	plotting	consists	of	a	bunch	of	shit	getting	blown	up	.	armageddon	is	as	stupid	,	as	loud	and	as	shallow	as	any	movie	you'll	see	come	out	this	summer	,	or	maybe	even	any	other	summer	.	but	i	loved	every	freaking	minute	of	it	.	believe	me	,	i'm	just	as	shocked	as	you	are	.	hell	,	i	don't	even	know	why	i	went	to	see	it	in	the	first	place	.	the	previews	were	so	annoying	that	i	predicted	this	was	going	to	be	the	worst	film	of	the	year	,	or	at	least	in	the	running	.	i'm	sorry	,	but	"	somebody	dial	911	!	!	!	"	isn't	quite	the	tagging	that's	going	to	sell	a	movie	.	it	isn't	too	wise	either	to	market	the	film	using	the	movie's	stupidest	lines	(	"	beam	me	up	scotty	"	yeah	,	that	sure	is	great	writing	.	.	.	)	.	i	mean	,	let's	face	it	;	armageddon's	previews	rival	the	truman	show's	as	being	some	of	the	worst	of	the	year	.	neither	of	them	even	come	close	to	doing	their	respective	films	justice	.	of	course	,	you	all	know	the	story	.	when	the	earth	is	threatened	with	total	annihilation	via	an	asteroid	the	size	of	texas	,	nasa	calls	in	the	us's	top	oil	drillers	(	!	)	to	go	into	space	(	!	)	and	implant	a	nuclear	device	eight	hundred	and	someodd	feet	into	the	asteroid	(	!	)	.	in	the	coarse	of	all	this	mayhem	,	we	are	introduced	to	some	interesting	and	not	so	interesting	characters	.	belonging	to	the	former	group	is	rockhound	(	steve	buscemi	)	,	a	horny	little	womanizing	genius	who's	always	full	of	wisecracks	,	even	when	flying	into	space	at	a	huge	amount	of	g's	.	also	,	there's	the	always	cool	as	hell	billy	bob	thornton	as	dan	truman	,	the	bigwig	at	nasa	who	recruits	all	the	drillers	.	he	kind	of	reminded	me	of	ed	harris	in	apollo	13	,	only	without	the	intensity	and	great	lines	to	deliver	.	then	on	the	flip	side	of	the	coin	is	the	tired	,	contrived	character	of	harry	stamper	(	bruce	willis	,	who	does	the	whole	movie	employing	with	annoying	accent	i	can't	quite	place	)	,	the	leader	of	the	pack	as	well	as	liv	tyler	and	ben	affleck	as	the	token	lovers	you	must	have	in	any	summer	movie	.	basically	,	that's	about	it	.	as	i	said	,	this	is	hardly	a	film	about	plot	.	it's	another	summer	blockbuster	with	plot	points	that	are	beyond	unbelievable	and	dialogue	and	characters	that	are	mostly	completely	wooden	.	case	in	point	:	nasa	doesn't	know	that	there	is	even	an	asteroid	on	it's	way	until	eighteen	days	before	impact	huh	?	another	example	:	at	one	point	in	the	movie	,	two	children	are	playing	with	toy	space	shuttles	in	front	of	a	poster	of	kennedy	.	how	pretentious	is	that	?	?	?	!	!	!	want	another	one	?	okay	;	before	the	oil	drillers	blast	off	into	space	,	one	of	them	starts	singing	"	leaving	on	a	jet	plane	"	,	and	soon	,	all	the	rest	join	in	.	did	michael	bay	attend	the	school	of	sappy	filmmaking	before	he	made	this	picture	?	but	naturally	,	all	this	sappiness	,	melodrama	and	special	effects	accumulate	to	one	bitchin'	time	at	the	movies	.	and	don't	get	me	wrong	despite	all	of	the	things	i	found	wrong	with	armageddon	,	i	still	very	much	enjoyed	it	.	so	even	if	you	don't	win	one	of	mcdonald's	free	tickets	,	it's	still	definitely	worth	checking	out	.
pos	starring	:	michael	keaton	(	bruce	wayne	batman	)	,	danny	devito	(	oswald	cobblepot	the	penguin	)	,	michelle	pfeiffer	(	selina	kyle	catwoman	)	,	christopher	walken	(	max	shreck	)	,	michael	gough	(	alfred	pennyworth	)	,	pat	hingle	(	commissioner	gordon	)	directed	by	:	tim	burton	,	written	by	:	daniel	waters	and	wesley	strick	from	a	story	by	sam	hamm	based	on	characters	created	by	bob	kane	rated	pg	13	by	the	mpaa	for	violence	,	blood	,	strong	languae	,	and	sexual	remarks	humor	what	superman	ii	(	1980	)	is	to	superman	(	1978	)	,	so	is	batman	returns	(	1992	)	to	batman	(	1989	)	.	what	does	that	mean	?	that	means	it's	a	worthy	,	well	done	sequel	.	what	is	it	with	these	dc	comics	heroes	having	two	good	entries	in	their	film	series	and	then	going	downhill	?	this	time	,	the	plot	might	actually	need	some	commentary	.	we	see	before	the	eerie	credits	sequence	that	,	33	years	ago	,	a	boy	was	born	deformed	,	and	,	repulsed	by	his	appearance	,	the	parents	(	one	of	which	is	played	by	paul	reubens	,	a	tim	burton	film	veteran	)	tossed	him	into	the	sewer	(	or	a	storm	drain	hard	to	tell	)	and	he	floats	his	way	to	the	"	arctic	world	"	attraction	at	gotham's	zoo	.	there	,	it's	implied	that	he's	found	among	the	penguins	and	is	put	into	the	"	red	triangle	circus	"	,	where	he	becomes	the	"	aquatic	bird	boy	.	"	the	circus	keeps	him	alive	,	but	eventually	he	returns	to	life	under	the	streets	.	all	of	this	primarily	occurs	off	screen	,	before	the	main	focus	of	the	story	takes	place	,	as	we	have	other	matters	to	deal	with	.	.	.	in	the	modern	day	,	millionaire	deparment	store	owner	max	shreck	is	trying	to	build	a	new	power	plant	,	despite	the	fact	that	gotham	city	already	has	a	power	surplus	.	why	?	well	,	because	his	power	plant	is	actually	a	capacitor	,	which	will	suck	power	in	and	store	it	.	but	he's	not	telling	the	mayor	(	michael	murphy	)	or	bruce	wayne	,	who	are	both	opposed	to	his	plan	,	that	.	of	course	,	max	also	has	a	secretary	named	selina	kyle	.	selina	strikes	up	a	romance	with	bruce	wayne	,	but	,	as	you	already	know	,	she	won't	end	up	being	selina	kyle	for	the	whole	movie	,	and	you	can	find	out	why	and	how	when	you	watch	for	yourself	.	michael	keaton	now	seems	even	more	comfortable	in	the	wayne	batman	role	,	and	plays	it	better	than	ever	.	he	even	looks	better	in	the	suit	here	(	incidentally	,	this	is	obviously	the	most	flexible	suit	that	any	batman	wears	in	any	of	the	films	,	and	it	looks	quite	cool	)	.	keaton	is	still	the	definitive	batman	,	here	more	than	ever	he's	even	made	his	hair	look	less	'80s	for	this	film	.	it's	too	bad	that	the	story	doesn't	focus	more	on	him	.	devito	plays	a	very	good	tormented	,	umbrella	wielding	penguin	,	a	man	who	wants	to	return	to	the	world	above	and	"	reclaim	his	birthright	"	by	becoming	an	appreciated	member	of	gotham	society	all	while	secretly	plotting	his	own	destruction	schemes	and	revenge	plots	with	his	former	circus	buddies	who	are	now	his	gang	.	he	even	gets	to	be	funny	at	times	.	pheiffer	is	an	excellent	catwoman	,	the	first	foe	who	is	a	worth	physical	adversary	to	batman	in	the	series	.	she's	sultry	,	she's	fun	to	watch	,	and	always	chews	the	scenery	.	and	speaking	of	the	scenery	,	it	is	,	again	,	a	beautiful	thing	to	see	.	fills	in	for	the	late	anton	furst	,	and	,	although	he	doesn't	reach	the	same	level	as	furst	,	he	does	an	admirable	job	.	gotham	is	again	a	beautiful	and	dark	world	.	oh	,	yeah	.	.	.	christopher	walken	?	he's	walken	.	he's	pretty	much	always	walken	.	he's	always	a	pretty	good	villian	,	because	,	hey	,	he's	christopher	walken	.	he	can't	compete	with	the	penguin	or	catwoman	,	but	hey	,	what	did	you	expect	?	danny	elfman's	main	theme	returns	here	,	and	it	,	along	with	the	other	music	he	did	for	this	film	,	is	much	more	haunting	and	dark	this	time	around	,	with	chanting	often	rising	up	from	the	background	.	this	score	is	again	beautiful	,	and	is	just	as	strong	as	the	one	elfman	wrote	for	the	first	film	.	if	the	plot	for	this	movie	sounds	odd	.	.	.	well	,	i	suppose	it	is	a	little	weird	,	but	tim	burton	films	are	usually	quirky	.	still	,	somehow	it	all	seems	to	make	sense	on	the	screen	,	and	works	just	great	when	you	see	it	for	yourself	.	another	batman	triumph	for	burton	and	keaton	,	batman	returns	has	all	the	strong	performances	,	cool	action	,	great	direction	,	gorgeous	design	,	and	powerful	music	of	the	first	film	.	the	only	flaws	would	be	that	,	this	being	our	second	trip	through	gotham	,	maybe	we	aren't	as	dazzled	as	the	last	time	(	sort	of	like	the	problem	the	lost	world	:	jurassic	park	1997	had	to	deal	with	after	the	origina	jurassic	park	1993	)	,	and	we	could've	made	do	with	more	time	spent	with	batman	,	and	perhaps	less	villians	.	with	the	next	film	,	however	,	batman	forever	(	1995	)	,	joel	schumacher's	reign	begins	,	and	things	get	even	more	crowded	.	.	.	so	be	prepared	.
pos	it	was	a	crazy	time	in	france	,	what	with	the	french	revolution	right	around	the	corner	.	king	louis	xv	would	soon	die	,	and	his	son	would	become	king	louis	xvi	.	such	is	the	setting	for	beaumarchais	:	the	scoundrel	about	the	controversial	playwright	,	spy	and	playboy	pierre	augustin	caron	de	beaumarchais	.	beaumarchais	was	the	author	of	the	plays	,	"	the	barber	of	seville	"	and	"	the	marriage	of	figaro	.	"	today	people	think	of	them	as	quaint	and	harmless	operas	,	but	,	back	in	1773	when	the	movie	takes	place	,	they	were	so	scandalous	that	beaumarchais	was	thrown	into	prison	more	than	once	.	the	movie	beaumarchais	:	the	scoundrel	takes	a	light	hearted	approach	to	its	subject	,	resulting	in	an	inviting	motion	picture	.	one	of	france's	most	expensive	productions	ever	,	the	movie	was	a	huge	hit	when	it	opened	there	last	year	.	now	in	theatrical	release	in	the	united	states	,	it	eschews	the	seriousness	of	most	art	house	films	with	a	romping	good	story	.	the	secret	of	the	film's	success	,	other	than	the	lavishness	of	sylvie	de	segonzac's	costumes	,	has	to	be	the	performance	by	fabrice	luchini	as	beaumarchais	.	with	his	glistening	eyes	and	his	infectious	smile	,	he	mesmerizes	the	camera	and	the	audience	.	his	wry	little	lips	seem	always	to	hint	at	some	unspoken	deviousness	he	is	planning	.	in	a	land	where	court	intrigue	determines	one's	destiny	,	constant	scheming	was	a	way	of	life	for	the	aristocracy	.	as	our	story	starts	,	we	learn	that	beaumarchais	has	bought	himself	a	judgeship	.	into	his	court	comes	a	member	of	the	nobility	demanding	an	immediate	sword	fight	.	beaumarchais	,	who	has	been	having	an	affair	with	the	man's	wife	,	makes	him	wait	until	the	current	case	on	the	docket	is	decided	.	that	over	with	,	the	fight	is	on	.	with	luchini's	charisma	,	it	is	hard	to	root	for	anyone	other	than	him	.	audiences	may	remember	him	from	the	marvelous	colonel	chabert	,	in	which	he	played	the	attorney	.	although	he	does	not	have	half	of	the	good	looks	of	his	assistant	gudin	,	played	by	manuel	blanc	,	he	dazzles	the	women	and	the	viewers	with	his	grace	and	style	.	michael	epp's	warm	and	intimate	cinematography	provides	a	nice	accompaniment	to	jean	marc	kerdelhue's	lush	but	realistic	looking	sets	.	jean	claude	petit's	music	,	especially	the	hauntingly	lovely	flute	solos	,	make	for	an	enchanting	time	at	the	movies	.	director	jean	claude	brisville	,	who	wrote	the	script	along	with	edouard	molinaro	,	fleshed	out	a	play	by	sacha	guitry	which	,	according	to	the	press	notes	,	was	just	a	series	of	historic	vignettes	.	the	disorganization	of	the	play	still	comes	through	at	some	points	in	the	movie	,	but	the	actors	smooth	it	over	with	their	good	hearted	style	.	typical	of	the	scenes	that	come	out	of	nowhere	is	the	one	in	which	a	rotund	benjamin	franklin	appears	in	a	large	pot	of	hot	water	,	taking	his	bath	.	one	episode	has	beaumarchais	working	with	a	renegade	spy	who	may	or	may	not	be	a	man	.	another	has	beaumarchais	using	his	personal	fortune	to	aid	the	american	revolution	.	all	of	this	may	sound	like	a	dull	historical	drama	,	but	it	is	anything	but	.	the	story	plays	more	like	theater	of	the	absurd	than	a	movie	based	on	historical	facts	.	the	radiantly	lovely	sandrine	kiberlain	plays	marie	therese	,	the	real	love	of	beaumarchais's	life	.	but	he	is	so	likable	that	members	of	the	audience	may	want	to	compete	with	her	for	him	.	still	,	with	his	beguiling	smile	,	one	can	never	quite	be	sure	if	you	should	trust	him	.	the	movie	,	on	the	other	hand	,	can	be	trusted	to	deliver	a	high	old	time	.	beaumarchais	:	the	scoundrel	runs	1	:	41	.	it	is	in	french	with	english	subtitles	.	the	film	is	not	rated	but	would	be	an	r	for	some	nudity	and	sex	,	and	should	be	fine	for	most	teenagers	.
pos	chad'z	rating	:	(	out	of	4	excellent	)	1939	,	g	,	222	minutes	3	hours	,	42	minutes	starring	:	viven	leigh	(	katherine	scarlett	o'hara	hamilton	kennedy	butler	)	,	clark	gable	(	captain	rhett	butler	)	,	olivia	de	havilland	(	melanie	wilkes	)	,	leslie	howard	(	ashley	wilkes	)	;	written	by	sidney	howard	;	produced	by	david	o	.	selznik	;	directed	by	victor	fleming	;	based	on	the	novel	by	margaret	mitchell	.	seen	july	8	,	1998	at	the	crossgates	cinema	18	,	(	albany	,	ny	)	,	theater	7	,	at	8	:	15	p	.	m	.	with	my	mom	using	hoyts	cinema	cash	.	theater	rating	:	1	2	:	very	good	sound	,	picture	,	and	seats	it's	very	rare	that	any	medium	of	entertainment	can	give	one	an	authentic	,	vivid	sense	of	reality	and	life	.	all	stories	are	about	select	moments	of	time	and	places	in	the	characters'	lives	,	but	only	the	truly	great	ones	are	able	to	define	their	realities	well	enough	so	the	audience	can	experience	it	just	as	the	characters	do	.	therefore	,	"	gone	with	the	wind	"	deserves	accolades	for	its	ability	to	tell	the	epic	story	it	does	,	in	such	a	crafted	,	intricate	,	and	entertaining	manner	.	it's	a	crowning	achievement	,	not	only	in	filmmaking	,	but	for	storytelling	itself	.	the	film	takes	place	in	georgia	before	,	during	,	and	after	the	civil	war	.	this	plays	a	major	factor	in	the	film's	success	.	to	use	such	a	historic	setting	presents	many	possibilities	and	problems	since	no	one	was	alive	at	the	time	to	verify	its	accuracy	.	it	might	also	seem	cliche	,	boring	and	other	such	deterent	factors	to	potential	viewers	.	can	a	story	set	so	long	ago	be	relatable	now	?	the	film	confronts	all	these	problems	,	paradoxically	,	by	not	cronfronting	them	.	it	doesn't	simply	plug	in	the	"	right	thing	"	at	the	"	right	time	,	"	it	creates	an	entire	reality	where	everything	makes	sense	and	said	concerns	are	irrelevant	.	building	a	strong	foundation	is	important	to	all	forms	of	media	,	without	which	,	what	is	there	to	build	on	?	we're	given	some	backstory	here	and	learn	a	little	about	our	characters	,	especially	our	main	character	,	scarlett	o'hara	(	leigh	)	,	a	beautiful	southern	belle	with	a	will	of	steel	,	a	cunning	wit	,	and	a	tremendous	sense	of	liberty	in	such	an	oppressive	time	.	she	knows	how	her	society	works	,	wherein	everything	she	does	can	and	will	play	a	role	in	the	shaping	of	her	life	and	those	around	her	.	right	from	the	beginning	we	realize	how	determined	she	is	to	have	her	way	no	matter	what	the	consequences	may	be	.	being	the	most	sought	after	woman	allows	her	to	manipulate	men	(	and	their	women	)	to	ensure	she	gets	her	way	,	whether	it	be	obvious	(	i	.	e	.	who	will	be	the	one	to	get	her	food	)	,	or	subtle	(	i	.	e	.	getting	married	just	to	spite	someone	)	.	the	man	she	claims	to	love	is	ashley	wilkes	(	howard	)	,	a	modest	gentleman	who	does	not	seem	to	have	the	same	passion	for	her	as	she	does	for	him	.	he	isn't	so	arrogant	and	demanding	as	scarlett	,	in	fact	,	he's	engaged	to	a	woman	with	a	personality	much	more	like	his	.	her	name	is	melanie	(	de	havilland	)	,	and	she	is	one	of	the	sweetest	,	kindest	,	and	most	likable	characters	one	will	ever	see	.	she	and	scarlett	become	very	dear	friends	,	but	she	never	suspects	the	jealously	scarlett	has	for	her	,	and	the	love	she	has	for	her	husband	.	her	meekness	is	both	her	strongest	and	weakest	characteristic	it	defines	who	she	is	,	but	doesn't	give	her	much	emotional	self	defense	.	acting	a	catalyst	to	the	love	triangle	,	and	to	the	story	as	a	whole	is	the	daper	,	stong	willed	,	cunning	,	cocky	southern	business	and	military	man	captain	rhett	butler	(	gable	)	.	he's	quite	a	character	all	right	everyone	listens	to	what	he	has	to	say	even	though	he's	got	a	bad	reputation	.	butler	makes	no	apologies	for	his	vast	amount	of	money	nor	his	behavior	.	he	tells	everyone	the	much	needed	truth	in	the	rigid	caste	like	society	where	freewill	doesn't	seem	to	exist	,	everything	is	done	out	of	honor	and	tradition	.	for	example	,	in	his	first	appearance	butler	tells	his	fellow	southerners	there's	no	way	the	south	could	defeat	the	north	if	war	were	to	break	out	.	this	angers	them	,	not	for	his	lack	of	faith	,	but	because	he	has	the	gall	to	say	it	aloud	and	boastfully	at	that	.	"	do	we	have	ammunition	factories	?	do	we	have	food	?	do	we	have	a	navy	?	all	we	have	is	tobacco	.	"	all	true	statements	and	yet	the	south	still	insists	he's	wrong	.	butler	is	a	shifty	character	to	be	sure	,	but	he	takes	such	pride	in	his	arrogance	it's	appealing	.	scarlett	notices	this	too	when	she	first	sees	him	,	and	from	the	look	butler	gives	her	,	we	know	he's	not	going	to	stop	until	he	has	her	.	but	scarlett	can't	get	past	her	need	for	ashley	,	and	during	a	scene	which	sets	the	stage	for	the	grand	story	,	butler	learns	of	this	and	continues	to	throw	it	back	at	scarlett	forever	.	and	so	the	story	goes	on	,	with	scarlett	being	thrown	obstacle	after	obstacle	in	her	life	.	the	conflicts	she	must	overcome	range	from	taking	care	of	her	entire	family	to	finding	a	proper	husband	,	especially	after	she	is	"	marked	"	for	life	when	her	first	husband	dies	.	this	gives	the	film	many	opportunities	to	bring	in	more	characters	into	the	epic	story	.	some	are	vital	for	only	a	few	scenes	,	but	their	true	signifcance	will	endure	throughout	the	film	.	in	most	films	only	a	few	characters	exist	for	support	in	background	,	but	this	film	is	more	realistic	and	believable	as	it	incorporates	a	supporting	cast	the	size	of	a	small	town	and	everyone	has	signficance	.	even	people	in	the	background	seem	more	than	just	extras	wandering	the	set	.	the	costuming	design	is	outstanding	so	that	the	film	makes	for	a	real	sense	of	time	and	place	.	the	filmmakers	could	have	easily	set	more	scenes	indoors	and	narrowly	focused	to	avoid	having	to	show	the	outside	,	real	world	,	but	these	types	of	simple	approaches	are	never	taken	.	the	first	half	of	the	film	depicts	the	traumatic	experience	the	south	faced	at	the	last	days	of	the	civil	war	.	fleming	is	able	to	convey	the	horror	of	it	all	by	painting	an	image	of	destruction	and	letting	the	viewer	decide	just	how	bad	it	is	.	one	scene	has	scarlett	working	as	a	nurse	at	a	military	hospital	while	we	hear	a	soldier	in	the	background	screaming	,	"	no	!	not	my	leg	!	don't	cut	off	my	leg	!	"	another	scene	shows	her	simplying	trying	to	cross	a	street	,	but	as	the	camera	pulls	back	,	we	see	that	her	path	is	blocked	by	hundreds	of	wounded	soldiers	,	but	it	is	their	moaning	that's	more	graphic	than	all	the	bloody	gore	could	ever	be	.	as	the	second	half	begins	,	the	film	concentrates	more	on	scarlett	as	a	completely	independent	woman	who	single	handedly	takes	care	of	her	family	and	melanie	just	to	spite	the	tyrany	of	the	north	.	she	manages	to	resurrect	the	family	plantation	,	but	all	the	willpower	she	has	can't	help	her	when	she	must	pay	exuberhant	taxes	set	by	the	north	after	the	south's	ultimate	defeat	.	this	brings	rhett	butler	back	into	the	picture	and	thus	begins	their	torrid	love	hate	relationship	.	most	of	the	second	half	of	the	film	is	somehow	related	to	the	relationship	(	or	lack	thereof	)	between	rhett	and	scarlett	.	each	uses	the	other	for	personal	gain	,	but	at	the	same	time	they	still	feel	an	intimate	connection	with	each	other	.	scarlett	continues	to	use	her	manipulative	powers	over	men	to	get	what	she	wants	and	because	rhett	can't	help	but	want	her	more	every	time	she	tries	to	one	up	him	such	as	marrying	another	man	and	taking	over	his	business	.	they	say	opposites	attract	,	but	the	conflict	between	rhett	and	scarlett	goes	way	beyond	opposing	personalities	,	it	borders	on	magnetic	polarization	.	they	need	each	other	and	know	this	,	yet	they	never	seem	truly	happy	together	.	perhaps	they	mistake	love	for	passion	,	and	the	film	leaves	it	up	to	us	to	make	this	call	.	both	have	things	the	other	wants	and	vice	versa	,	but	when	they	compromise	,	is	it	just	to	get	their	own	way	or	because	they	actually	care	for	each	other	.	love	and	the	perception	of	love	are	two	completely	separate	things	and	throughout	the	final	act	of	the	film	,	we're	left	wondering	if	rhett	and	scarlett	ever	truly	loved	each	other	and	why	.	gable	and	leigh	do	have	great	chemistry	,	always	leaving	the	viewer	wondering	which	emotions	were	authentic	and	which	were	manufacture	.	all	?	none	?	either	way	is	possible	and	it's	a	mystery	that	cannot	be	solved	even	upon	repeated	viewings	.	it's	safe	to	say	most	of	us	won't	live	such	overly	dramatic	lives	as	those	in	"	gone	with	the	wind	,	"	but	it's	still	a	masterpiece	for	its	ability	to	give	us	a	sense	that	we've	just	experienced	a	life's	worth	of	joy	and	pain	.	hr	please	visit	chad'z	movie	page	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	chadpolenz	a	over	200	new	and	old	films	reviewed	in	depth	,	not	just	blind	ratings	and	quick	capsules	.
pos	chad'z	rating	:	1	2	(	out	of	4	very	good	)	1999	,	pg	,	131	minutes	2	hours	,	11	minutes	starring	:	liam	neeson	(	qui	gon	jinn	)	;	jake	lloyd	(	anakin	skywalker	)	;	natalie	portman	(	queen	amidala	)	;	ewan	mcgregor	(	obi	wan	kenobi	)	;	produced	by	rick	mccallum	;	written	and	directed	by	george	lucas	.	seen	may	19	,	1999	at	5	p	.	m	.	at	the	crossgates	cinema	18	(	guilderland	,	n	.	y	.	)	,	theater	1	,	with	my	brother	john	for	8	.	50	.	theater	rating	:	:	excellent	seats	,	sound	and	picture	(	critic's	note	:	this	review	is	the	longest	i've	ever	written	and	still	only	scratches	the	surface	.	i'd	recommend	this	be	read	only	by	those	who	have	seen	the	film	as	a	form	of	critical	analysis	.	)	as	my	friend	and	fellow	film	critic	ted	prigge	said	in	his	review	of	the	phantom	menace'	how	do	i	even	write	this	review	?	never	mind	the	fact	that	i've	been	waiting	for	a	new	star	wars'	movie	since	i	was	seven	years	old	.	never	mind	the	fact	everyone	on	the	internet	had	already	dissected	and	discussed	the	movie	before	it	was	even	released	.	never	mind	that	there's	so	much	going	on	in	this	movie	in	terms	of	plot	,	action	,	special	effects	and	long	term	story	that	to	analyze	every	aspect	would	take	a	lot	of	time	and	energy	and	still	wouldn't	cover	everything	.	and	also	like	ted	does	in	all	of	his	reviews	,	i'll	try	to	review	this	in	a	way	different	from	my	usual	reviews	and	instead	write	as	casually	as	possible	as	if	i	was	talking	directly	to	you	,	the	reader	.	before	we	can	begin	analyzing	the	specific	aspects	of	the	film	,	many	of	the	most	general	and	most	significant	factors	must	be	considered	(	to	get	the	specifics	of	the	film	,	skip	this	and	the	next	four	paragraphs	)	.	as	has	been	made	obvious	for	the	last	several	years	,	another	trilogy	of	films	will	be	produced	to	account	for	the	missing	initial	three	installments	of	the	star	wars'	series	(	the	first	of	the	films	was	actually	episode	four	,	not	one	)	.	george	lucas	,	the	creator	of	the	series	,	has	probably	just	assumed	most	people	know	the	first	produced	trilogy	(	star	wars	,	'	the	empire	strikes	back'	and	return	of	the	jedi'	)	is	actually	the	second	trilogy	,	chronologically	.	in	media	interviews	in	the	past	he	has	explained	why	the	movies	were	made	out	of	order	,	but	i	can't	recall	his	reasons	.	with	this	new	film	he	as	writer	and	director	has	also	assumed	viewers	are	at	least	vaguely	familiar	with	the	storylines	and	significant	plot	points	of	the	first	trilogy	(	err	.	.	.	second	trilogy	.	.	.	well	you	know	what	i	mean	)	.	and	in	order	for	this	review	to	be	thorough	many	of	those	significant	points	must	be	mentioned	which	,	unfortunately	,	may	serve	as	spoilers	so	proceed	with	caution	.	critic's	note	1	:	it	is	one	my	personal	policy	not	to	intentionally	analyze	spoilers	because	i	would	like	my	reviews	to	be	able	to	make	sense	to	the	reader	both	before	and	after	viewing	the	film	reviewed	,	but	it	would	be	nearly	impossible	to	do	the	film	justice	here	without	breaking	the	rule	.	critic's	note	2	:	reviewing	this	film	also	breaks	the	universal	critics'	law	of	reviewing	movies	,	which	as	roger	ebert	coined	,	it's	not	what	a	movie	is	about	,	but	how	it	is	about	it	.	'	because	so	many	outside	factors	come	into	play	in	the	film's	plot	and	significance	as	part	of	a	trilogy	,	and	just	considering	modern	society	,	it	again	would	be	difficult	,	if	not	impossible	to	simply	review	the	film	as	a	completely	autonomous	story	.	first	of	all	we	have	to	catalog	what	we	know	about	the	film	before	even	going	into	it	.	we	know	that	young	anakin	skywalker	will	grow	up	to	become	the	evil	ruler	darth	vader	who	is	also	the	father	of	luke	skywalker	,	who	will	lead	a	successful	revolution	against	him	and	his	empire	.	we	know	obi	wan	ben'	kenobi	was	the	trainer	of	anakin	in	the	ways	of	the	force'	in	attempts	to	become	a	jedi	knight	,	but	would	fail	and	thus	anakin	would	fall	to	the	dark	side	.	'	we	also	know	something	about	the	force'	itself	,	that	it	is	some	kind	of	universal	force	which	determines	fate	and	can	be	manipulated	by	those	whose	minds	are	expanded	enough	to	believe	in	it	and	feel	it	(	the	jedi	)	.	what	we	don't	know	for	sure	is	the	history	of	the	ruling	of	the	galaxy	,	which	is	most	likely	much	longer	and	more	complex	than	any	government	we	have	had	here	on	earth	.	to	me	,	this	was	one	of	the	most	fascinating	aspects	of	the	first	three	films	because	there	seemed	to	be	a	subtle	,	definite	order	to	all	the	complexity	.	also	,	it	seems	that	we're	supposed	to	be	familiar	with	a	few	other	details	about	the	story	which	have	come	out	of	the	thousands	of	comic	books	and	paperbacks	published	in	the	years	since	the	movies	ended	.	most	notably	,	details	regarding	the	emperor	from	empire'	and	jedi	,	'	and	that	he	was	once	a	senator	and	his	last	name	is	palpatine	.	for	those	who	haven't	kept	up	with	all	the	star	wars'	paraphernalia	over	the	years	,	there	is	still	a	way	to	know	these	details	simply	by	recognizing	an	actor	(	or	his	voice	at	least	)	.	with	the	phantom	menace'	being	the	first	chapter	of	a	long	saga	,	one	would	assume	the	basic	groundwork	would	be	laid	,	including	the	history	behind	all	the	major	factors	of	the	series	,	especially	the	force'	and	the	jedi	knights	.	unfortunately	,	this	film	does	more	of	the	opposite	as	it	simply	builds	on	top	of	what	must	be	a	history	so	long	and	detailed	it	could	never	be	explained	.	i	didn't	liked	that	aspect	to	this	film	and	is	one	of	the	reasons	it	falls	just	short	of	greatness	.	if	you're	going	to	tell	a	story	from	the	beginning	tell	it	from	the	beginning	(	is	it	possible	that	after	this	trilogy	is	complete	there	could	be	another	trilogy	of	episodes	1	through	3	to	clarify	the	back	story	even	further	?	)	.	but	i	digress	.	i've	said	so	much	and	yet	i	haven't	even	touched	on	the	specifics	of	the	film	itself	.	all	these	necessary	disclaiming'	elements	should	go	to	show	just	how	vast	the	story	of	the	star	wars'	series	is	and	this	individual	film	itself	.	what	we	get	here	is	a	movie	not	unlike	any	of	the	other	three	we've	come	to	know	and	love	since	the	late	1970s	.	its	similarity	to	the	other	films	helps	to	keep	the	spirit	of	the	series	familiar	,	but	at	the	same	time	seems	to	be	a	flaw	in	the	filmmaking	process	itself	since	it	sometimes	rings	of	unoriginality	.	the	basic	story	is	rather	sorted	,	complex	and	even	confusing	at	times	.	we're	told	that	an	army	known	as	the	trade	federation'	has	set	up	a	blockade	around	an	seemingly	insignificant	planet	called	naboo	.	we're	not	given	too	many	details	to	clarify	the	back	story	of	what	the	federation	is	and	what	their	purpose	is	,	instead	the	film	opts	to	get	its	story	moving	quickly	.	we're	introduced	to	two	jedi	,	the	master	qui	gon	jinn	(	neeson	)	and	his	apprentice	obi	wan	kenobi	(	mcgregor	)	.	the	two	are	acting	as	ambassadors	of	some	sort	in	hopes	of	ending	the	obvious	hostility	between	the	federation	and	the	planet's	queen	,	amidala	(	portman	)	.	the	leader	of	the	federation	,	an	alien	called	viceroy	,	is	following	the	orders	of	a	strange	,	mythical	character	an	older	human	man	whose	face	and	body	are	covered	and	shadowed	by	the	black	robe	and	hood	he	wears	.	he	is	referred	to	as	lord	sidious	but	considering	his	appearance	,	and	especially	that	creepy	evil	voice	of	his	,	he	is	a	obviously	one	of	the	most	significant	characters	in	the	series	.	sidious	communicates	to	viceroy	only	through	digital	transmissions	and	never	in	person	.	clearly	his	actual	whereabouts	are	something	he	wants	to	keep	secret	because	that	would	also	reveal	his	identity	(	which	is	never	openly	revealed	in	the	film	,	but	should	be	clear	to	most	viewers	.	i	have	a	feeling	we'll	delve	into	his	background	in	the	next	two	films	)	.
pos	just	in	time	for	christmas	comes	a	story	worthy	of	both	ebenezer	and	jimmy	stewart	,	with	wild	at	heart's	nicholas	cage	cast	in	the	role	of	the	out	of	touch	rich	guy	.	jack	campbell	(	cage	)	is	not	a	bad	man	.	he's	not	even	a	callous	man	.	he's	just	a	regular	guy	who	happens	to	believe	that	millions	of	dollars	,	a	beautiful	blonde	lover	,	and	a	ferrari	in	the	garage	are	ample	compensation	for	whatever	he	may	be	missing	in	the	way	of	mediocre	suburban	living	.	but	when	this	good	natured	wall	street	mega	titan	puts	his	life	on	the	line	to	save	a	convenience	store	from	a	firefight	,	he	makes	a	big	mistake	.	because	that	kid	with	the	pistol	(	don	cheadle	)	is	no	ordinary	hoodlum	he's	some	kind	of	wacky	angel	or	ghost	of	christmas	in	a	parallel	universe	or	something	.	and	little	does	jack	know	,	as	he	lay	himself	down	to	sleep	on	christmas	eve	,	that	he'll	wake	the	next	morning	to	the	life	he	could've	had	if	only	he'd	married	his	college	girlfriend	(	ta	leoni	,	deep	impact	)	instead	of	following	his	ambition	to	become	one	of	the	world's	richest	,	most	powerful	men	.	the	movie	tries	earnestly	to	make	a	case	for	the	intrinsic	value	of	middle	class	life	,	but	fails	miserably	to	pull	through	,	largely	because	it	makes	power	brokering	look	so	easy	and	fun	.	i	won't	bog	you	down	in	all	the	little	details	of	jack's	boring	suburban	life	,	but	suffice	it	to	say	he	makes	the	honest	,	simple	life	seem	pretty	unappealing	.	cage's	performance	is	strong	enough	,	at	times	even	believable	,	but	his	hairpiece	needs	some	serious	work	.	leoni	is	a	subtle	charmer	as	the	spunky	mother	of	two	,	and	cheadle's	work	in	the	beginning	of	the	film	carries	a	potency	not	seen	since	his	appearance	in	boogie	nights	.	but	,	oddly	enough	,	it	is	the	child	actor	mackenzie	vega	who	adds	the	most	dimension	to	the	picture	as	annie	,	the	campbells'	precocious	daughter	.	the	only	really	funny	or	heartwarming	moments	in	the	film	revolve	around	annie's	frank	(	but	misguided	)	understanding	that	cage	is	not	her	real	father	but	an	alien	come	to	observe	our	planet	.	never	has	the	phrase	"	welcome	to	earth	"	drawn	such	touching	laughter	from	an	audience	.	(	except	maybe	in	et	.	did	they	say	that	in	et	?	)	the	family	man	is	,	in	the	end	,	a	carefree	tale	of	love	and	bad	new	jersey	accents	.	for	every	man	who's	ever	wondered	what	life	he	could	have	had	if	he'd	never	married	the	mother	of	his	children	,	this	film	has	the	answer	.	and	,	just	as	you	might	have	suspected	,	you	may	have	been	better	off	alone	.	while	the	film	fails	in	many	ways	to	reach	a	memorable	conclusion	,	it	just	might	carry	enough	soft	hearted	cheer	to	make	a	tired	old	married	couple	smile	on	christmas	eve	.
pos	in	what	might	already	be	one	of	the	"	hottest	"	films	of	the	summer	,	backdraft	does	for	firefighters	what	goodfellas	did	for	gangsters	it	elevates	its	protagonists	to	a	level	bordering	on	the	heroic	.	only	in	this	case	,	the	firefighters	in	ron	howard's	latest	film	are	truly	deserving	of	that	praise	.	viewers	expecting	a	turgid	retread	of	the	towering	inferno	will	be	in	for	a	surprise	(	unless	their	idea	of	a	good	time	is	watching	fred	astaire	spontaneously	combust	)	.	for	the	effects	in	backdraft	are	indeed	special	,	visual	pyrotechnics	that	would	make	even	george	lucas'	head	spin	.	but	backdraft	is	less	an	irwin	allen	style	disaster	film	than	it	is	a	human	drama	consumed	by	fire	,	a	film	about	the	motivations	of	men	that	risk	their	lives	to	save	others	.	audience	members	are	likely	to	feel	more	sensitive	about	firefighters	after	seeing	this	film	.	for	philadelphians	at	least	,	this	film	comes	hot	on	the	heels	of	the	center	city	fire	that	claimed	the	lives	of	three	firefighters	,	making	this	film	all	the	more	poignant	.	twenty	years	after	witnessing	the	death	of	his	firefighter	father	in	a	rooftop	blaze	,	brian	mccaffrey	(	william	baldwin	)	returns	home	to	the	firefighting	business	after	a	series	of	dead	end	jobs	have	left	him	feeling	empty	and	alienated	.	his	brother	stephen	(	played	by	kurt	russell	in	a	powerful	and	sweaty	performance	)	has	followed	directly	in	his	father's	footsteps	and	is	now	a	lieutenant	in	the	chicago	fire	department	.	on	more	than	one	occasion	in	this	film	is	stephen	mccaffrey	referred	to	as	"	the	best	.	"	the	sibling	rivalry	between	these	two	brothers	is	played	out	against	a	backdrop	of	danger	,	destruction	and	death	.	as	one	of	the	film's	characters	observes	,	it's	the	firemen	who	run	into	the	burning	building	while	everyone	else	is	running	out	!	and	stephen	himself	tells	his	younger	brother	,	who	admits	to	having	a	bad	day	on	the	job	,	"	you	have	a	bad	day	,	and	someone	dies	.	"	stephen	believes	that	brian	cannot	cut	it	as	a	firefighter	yet	brian	sets	out	to	prove	him	wrong	.	however	,	stephen's	suspicions	turn	out	to	be	correct	,	and	brian	ends	up	taking	a	job	with	the	city's	top	arson	investigator	,	donald	rimgale	(	robert	de	niro	)	.	rimgale's	world	is	one	of	smoke	eaters	(	firemen	)	,	crispers	(	fire	victims	)	and	torches	(	arsonists	)	.	their	investigations	into	who	is	setting	these	fires	and	causing	these	"	backdrafts	"	(	explosions	triggered	when	air	enters	an	oxygen	free	room	)	lead	them	to	ronald	bartel	(	donald	sutherland	)	.	in	a	scene	straight	out	of	the	silence	of	the	lambs	.	sutherland	,	white	haired	and	rolling	his	eyes	a	lot	,	has	never	been	more	maniacal	on	screen	.	away	from	his	work	,	stephen	constantly	battles	with	his	estranged	wife	helen	,	played	by	rebecca	demornay	(	risky	business	)	in	a	quiet	,	understated	performance	.	not	that	he	is	away	from	his	work	for	long	.	russell's	character	seems	to	prefer	putting	out	fires	at	the	office	rather	than	those	at	home	.	but	neither	of	these	two	sub	plots	are	as	arresting	as	the	actual	scenes	of	fire	itself	,	which	range	in	intensity	from	spectacular	to	downright	amazing	.	director	howard	whose	previous	film	was	the	1989	domestic	comedy	drama	parenthood	admits	that	to	make	a	film	about	firefighters	with	the	sophistication	of	today's	audiences	would	require	effects	over	and	above	the	norm	.	and	to	his	credit	he	has	accomplished	that	.	no	gas	jets	under	the	camera	lens	here	.	howard's	film	personifies	fire	as	a	physical	entity	,	a	force	that	the	firefighters	must	first	stalk	,	and	then	kill	,	like	a	wild	animal	.	as	robert	de	niro's	character	says	,	"	it's	a	living	thing	.	it	lives	.	it	breathes	.	it	hates	.	the	only	way	to	beat	it	is	to	think	like	it	.	the	only	way	to	kill	it	is	to	love	it	a	little	.	"	backdraft	is	a	first	rate	action	yarn	dirty	,	loud	and	full	of	explosive	special	effects	.	it	is	also	a	well	crafted	personal	drama	,	replete	with	uniformly	fine	performances	.	but	perhaps	it's	greatest	triumph	is	that	it	bestows	a	renewed	respect	on	a	profession	all	too	often	taken	for	granted	.
pos	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a	veteran	actor	clint	eastwood	has	never	looked	as	grizzled	as	he	does	in	true	crime	,	his	latest	directorial	effort	.	when	steve	everett	(	his	newest	character	)	gets	angry	at	someone	,	he	glares	them	down	with	those	famous	dirty	harry	eyes	,	furrows	his	brow	and	frowns	like	a	grizzly	bear	who's	just	lost	his	cubs	.	eastwood	has	played	some	particularly	despicable	characters	in	his	time	,	but	everett	could	just	take	the	cake	.	he	gets	my	vote	,	at	least	,	partly	because	ev'	is	a	drunken	affair	a	week	womanizer	who	has	many	relationship	problems	,	very	few	of	which	are	with	his	wife	(	diane	venora	)	.	when	his	colleague	at	the	oakland	tribune	is	in	an	ugly	car	wreck	and	dies	,	everett	must	take	over	for	her	at	a	vital	interview	session	.	the	interview	is	with	frank	beacham	(	isaiah	washington	)	,	a	death	row	inmate	set	to	die	at	midnight	for	the	murder	of	a	pregnant	convenience	store	clerk	.	eastwood	furrows	his	brow	.	as	everett	gradually	finds	information	,	he	realizes	that	beacham	could	very	well	be	innocent	.	he	interviews	a	key	witness	(	michael	jeter	)	,	who	claims	that	he	burst	in	the	door	at	pocum's	foods	because	his	car	had	overheated	,	only	to	see	beacham	standing	over	the	dead	woman's	body	,	blood	on	his	suspenders	,	gun	in	hand	.	but	everett	protests	:	how	could	he	have	seen	the	gun	,	which	was	lowered	by	his	side	,	with	the	potato	chip	rack	in	front	of	him	?	jeter	doesn't	know	what	he's	talking	about	.	eastwood	furrows	his	brow	.	crinkled	expressions	and	all	,	clint	is	the	centre	of	energy	of	true	crime	.	the	film	is	by	no	means	a	standard	action	suspense	yarn	,	but	a	thoughtful	human	story	in	which	the	characters	come	before	the	shoot	outs	.	isaiah	washington	has	a	break	out	performance	as	frank	beacham	,	and	scenes	with	him	and	his	weary	wife	(	lisa	gay	hamilton	)	are	truly	heartfelt	moments	.	but	the	best	scenes	are	ones	that	feature	eastwood	duking	it	out	with	those	in	authority	over	him	.	denis	leary	,	as	everett's	editor	and	boss	,	has	more	than	a	few	memorable	moments	of	restrained	anger	(	you	see	,	ev	is	sleeping	with	his	wife	)	.	but	hands	down	,	the	most	enjoyable	segments	of	the	film	are	when	james	woods	is	on	camera	.	playing	the	big	boss	alan	mann	,	woods	and	eastwood	create	amusing	chemistry	and	laugh	out	loud	punchlines	.	when	true	crime	opts	for	a	high	speed	chase	to	the	governer's	house	at	the	finale	,	the	quality	of	film	making	takes	an	abrupt	nosedive	.	eastwood	was	so	successful	with	colorful	character	portraits	that	he	didn't	need	to	switch	lanes	.	true	crime	is	a	tension	building	,	intriguing	drama	showcase	for	the	talented	director	and	star	.	this	is	a	road	block	he	could	have	easily	dismissed	(	i	furrow	my	brow	)	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	.	movie	views	by	jamey	hughton	:	a	href	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	"	http	:	welcome	.	to	movieviews	a
pos	an	unhappy	italian	housewife	,	a	lonely	waiter	,	a	goofy	masseuse	,	lots	of	love	,	and	gorgeous	scenery	all	come	together	in	bread	and	tulips	,	which	proves	charming	despite	its	covering	of	predictable	,	well	worn	material	.	the	story	concerns	the	aforementioned	housewife	,	rosalba	barletta	(	licia	maglietta	)	who	accidentally	becomes	separated	from	her	immediate	family	while	on	vacation	.	instead	of	waiting	for	a	ride	home	,	rosalba	opts	not	to	go	home	to	her	italian	town	,	but	to	instead	hitchhike	to	venice	.	upon	arriving	,	she	tells	her	self	centered	husband	,	mimmo	(	an	excellent	antonio	catania	)	that	she'll	be	home	in	a	few	days	.	of	course	,	that	doesn't	happen	,	as	rosalba	quickly	gains	a	level	of	independence	that	has	been	unattainable	in	her	past	life	of	scrubbing	floors	and	buying	groceries	.	in	what	seems	like	days	,	she	moves	in	with	lonely	,	suicidal	waiter	fernando	(	bruno	ganz	)	,	gets	a	job	as	a	florist	,	learns	the	accordion	,	and	befriends	her	neighbor	a	wacky	holistic	masseuse	named	grazia	(	marina	massironi	)	.	rosalba	,	who	is	first	seen	wearing	a	gaudy	stretch	pants	outfit	,	starts	wearing	sexy	dresses	and	getting	closer	to	fernando	.	i	can	think	of	at	least	five	other	(	american	)	movies	(	including	fried	green	tomatoes	and	an	unmarried	woman	)	that	are	more	than	similar	to	bread	and	tulips	.	but	maglietta	and	ganz	,	who	act	with	restraint	and	care	,	help	bread	and	tulips	from	becoming	a	tired	retread	.	ganz	plays	the	suicidal	waiter	role	with	a	solemn	,	sometimes	playful	dignity	that	is	a	joy	to	watch	,	while	maglietta	never	overreacts	to	her	growing	comfort	with	the	outside	world	.	throughout	the	movie	,	maglietta	has	an	easygoing	,	confident	demeanor	,	which	makes	it	very	easy	to	root	for	her	and	her	growing	attraction	for	ganz's	character	.	the	gorgeous	scenery	of	moonlit	town	squares	and	sparkling	rivers	provides	a	perfect	love	story	backdrop	you	just	might	want	to	ask	the	attractive	stranger	in	the	seat	behind	you	for	coffee	after	the	lights	come	up	.	director	and	co	writer	silvio	soldini	must	get	credit	for	sprinkling	the	movie	with	effective	goofy	humor	.	the	cheap	mimmo	,	desperate	to	find	his	wife	(	after	all	,	he	needs	his	shirts	ironed	and	his	mistress	won't	do	it	)	,	hires	a	job	applicant	(	giuseppe	battiston	)	at	his	bathroom	supply	firm	to	do	the	job	.	the	reason	?	mimmo	discovers	that	the	prospective	plumber	loves	detective	stories	.	the	novice	detective's	various	misfortunes	,	including	him	saying	goodbye	to	his	weepy	mother	,	are	very	funny	.	unfortunately	,	there	are	flaws	that	somewhat	spoil	bread	and	tulips'	cheery	tone	.	rosalba	is	bothered	by	several	surreal	dreams	during	her	time	in	venice	,	which	bring	the	movie	to	a	halt	.	it's	like	putting	a	gunfight	in	a	nora	ephron	movie	.	several	details	in	fernando's	life	also	never	get	proper	closure	,	including	his	suicidal	tendencies	.	early	in	the	movie	,	he	nearly	hangs	himself	before	rosalba	knocks	on	his	apartment	door	.	after	that	,	fernando's	step	towards	death	is	never	made	reference	to	,	probably	because	soldini	wanted	to	include	a	lukewarm	,	underdeveloped	subplot	about	fernando's	stormy	past	.	it	seems	more	like	a	desperate	attempt	to	pump	up	the	drama	in	a	plot	that	doesn't	need	any	.	but	there	aren't	a	lot	of	overwhelming	negatives	in	bread	and	tulips	.	the	movie	is	fun	and	romantic	,	with	beautiful	scenery	and	characters	whose	lives	we'd	like	to	live	if	we	had	the	nerve	.	.	.	or	if	our	passports	weren't	missing	.
pos	months	before	its	release	,	fox's	epic	animated	musical	anastasia	had	been	touted	as	the	first	legitimate	challenge	to	disney's	animation	empire	,	which	looked	more	vulnerable	than	ever	after	the	disappointing	box	office	(	and	,	as	it	turns	out	,	merchandising	)	performance	of	the	fun	but	phoned	in	hercules	.	now	that	the	film	has	arrived	in	theatres	,	does	the	mouse	indeed	have	reason	to	worry	?	during	its	exquisite	first	twenty	or	so	minutes	,	i	found	myself	agreeing	with	the	buzz	,	but	the	film	soon	collapses	under	the	weight	of	convention	,	becoming	a	merely	pleasant	entertainment	.	a	harrowing	prologue	set	in	1916	swiftly	gives	us	the	necessary	backstory	:	during	a	revolution	the	entire	russian	royal	family	is	killed	save	for	the	czar's	youngest	daughter	,	anastasia	(	spoken	by	kirsten	dunst	,	sung	by	lacey	chabert	)	,	who	is	lost	after	escaping	from	the	palace	;	and	her	grandmother	,	dowager	empress	marie	(	angela	lansbury	)	,	who	left	russia	for	paris	just	before	the	unrest	.	then	the	film	flashes	forward	in	time	,	jumping	into	its	buoyant	opening	number	,	"	a	rumor	in	st	.	petersburg	,	"	which	introduces	the	main	action	:	the	presumed	dead	princess	is	rumored	to	be	alive	,	and	with	their	eye	on	a	possible	financial	reward	from	the	empress	,	con	men	dimitri	(	spoken	by	john	cusack	,	sung	by	jonathan	dokuchitz	)	and	vladimir	(	kelsey	grammer	)	seek	out	a	young	woman	who	can	be	a	believable	anastasia	stand	in	.	while	a	big	opening	production	number	is	part	of	the	disney	formula	,	directors	don	bluth	and	gary	goldman	approach	it	in	a	fresh	way	.	in	disney	films	,	the	characters	do	little	more	than	sing	and	slightly	sway	to	the	music	;	here	,	the	style	is	more	live	action	broadway	and	mgm	,	with	background	characters	forming	a	full	on	dance	chorus	,	spontaneously	breaking	into	heavily	choreographed	moves	.	dimitri	and	vlad	ultimately	find	their	perfect	impostor	in	orphan	anya	(	spoken	by	meg	ryan	,	sung	by	liz	callaway	)	,	and	that's	no	accident	she	truly	_	is	_	anastasia	,	but	with	barely	any	recollection	of	her	royal	past	.	freshly	released	from	an	unpleasant	orphanage	,	anya	articulates	her	dream	of	having	a	family	in	the	stirring	"	journey	to	the	past	.	"	this	number	is	equivalent	to	the	disney	"	i	want	"	song	in	function	,	but	once	again	the	stage	influenced	execution	sets	it	apart	,	with	anya	literally	prancing	her	way	through	the	snow	covered	forest	and	even	capping	her	song	by	dramatically	raising	her	arms	into	the	air	(	you	almost	expect	the	movie	to	pause	for	audience	applause	)	.	right	before	anya	meets	up	with	the	scheming	duo	comes	a	truly	stunning	,	magical	moment	as	it	turns	out	,	the	film's	way	too	premature	peak	.	she	steps	foot	in	the	ballroom	of	the	abandoned	palace	,	crooning	the	hauntingly	beautiful	"	once	upon	a	december	,	"	a	lullaby	her	grandmother	used	to	sing	with	her	when	she	was	young	.	after	a	single	verse	,	the	ghosts	of	the	past	waltz	in	through	the	windows	,	enveloping	her	,	creating	a	lavish	ball	out	of	thin	air	.	by	this	song's	end	,	the	glitter	and	glamour	disappears	,	and	so	does	much	of	the	luster	of	the	film	.	the	songs	by	stephen	flaherty	and	lynn	ahrens	(	the	latter	of	whom	holds	a	special	place	in	my	and	many	others'	hearts	for	her	enduring	work	on	abc's	schoolhouse	rock	!	)	become	increasingly	forgettable	,	and	even	worse	,	the	story	loses	some	steam	.	the	strict	adherence	to	the	established	disney	formula	becomes	a	hindrance	.	there	is	really	no	dramatic	need	to	include	an	out	and	out	villain	in	the	piece	,	but	,	true	to	convention	,	there	is	one	:	evil	monk	rasputin	(	spoken	by	christopher	lloyd	,	sung	by	jim	cummings	)	,	whose	supernatural	curse	on	the	royal	family	caused	its	near	destruction	.	while	the	dying	rasputin's	plot	does	lead	to	some	standout	sequences	(	in	particular	a	suspenseful	and	spectacular	sea	storm	scene	)	,	and	the	running	gag	of	his	body	parts	constantly	fall	off	is	amusing	,	i	never	felt	as	if	he	and	his	sidekick	,	wisecracking	albino	bat	bartok	(	hank	azaria	)	,	played	a	necessary	role	in	this	story	;	they	seemed	to	be	shoehorned	in	for	formula's	sake	.	more	interesting	and	involving	than	the	good	versus	evil	plot	is	the	romantic	sparring	between	anya	and	dimitri	;	this	may	sound	odd	,	but	ryan	and	cusack	generate	a	lot	of	chemistry	with	their	voices	.	but	the	resolution	to	their	romance	is	far	from	satisfying	.	instead	of	being	moved	by	the	ending	,	i	was	merely	pleased	.	one	thing	,	however	,	does	remain	consistently	impressive	throughout	anastasia	,	and	that	is	the	visuals	.	the	animation	is	a	little	ragged	and	not	nearly	as	fluid	as	disney	work	,	but	the	artwork	is	outstanding	.	from	its	beautiful	handdrawn	images	to	the	three	dimensional	computer	generated	work	,	all	shot	in	the	2	.	35	:	1	cinemascope	aspect	ratio	(	the	first	animated	feature	to	be	shot	so	since	1959's	sleeping	beauty	)	,	anastasia	truly	looks	and	feels	like	an	epic	even	when	the	goings	on	are	less	so	.	in	the	end	,	the	heavily	hyped	anastasia	does	not	announce	fox's	animation	division	as	a	challenger	to	disney's	throne	.	what	it	does	announce	,	however	,	is	fox	as	a	_	potential	_	challenger	.	anastasia	may	not	be	great	,	but	it	is	good	,	and	if	the	film	is	a	jumping	off	point	for	the	fledgling	animation	house	,	the	mouse	should	be	prepared	for	a	war	.
pos	starring	al	franken	,	laura	san	giacomo	,	vincent	d'onofrio	,	and	harris	yulin	.	review	by	laurence	mixson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	venom8	hotmail	.	com	"	venom8	hotmail	.	com	a	)	a	fully	loaded	entertainment	review	website	coming	in	july	!	i	didn't	really	expect	very	much	when	i	rented	stuart	saves	his	family	.	the	movie	bombed	at	the	box	office	,	and	i	had	never	really	liked	the	saturday	night	live	sketch	on	which	the	movie	was	based	.	my	real	concern	,	though	,	was	the	general	reputation	of	snl	related	movies	translating	to	the	big	screen	with	less	than	stellar	results	(	half	baked	,	anyone	?	)	i	was	surprised	to	discover	a	truly	entertaining	,	often	hilarious	yet	also	touching	little	film	.	it	is	an	al	franken	production	through	and	through	,	who	not	only	created	the	title	character	but	also	wrote	and	starred	in	the	picture	.	for	those	of	you	who	don't	know	,	al	franken	plays	a	guy	named	stuart	smalley	,	who	has	a	really	annoying	show	on	a	public	access	station	about	increasing	your	self	esteem	,	etc	.	although	not	a	licensed	therapist	,	stuart	smalley	is	,	as	the	program	proudly	boasts	,	"	a	graduate	of	several	12	step	programs	.	"	stuart	is	doing	well	enough	with	his	tv	show	,	but	he	keeps	getting	distracted	by	family	troubles	.	stuart's	relatives	are	a	mess	:	his	dad	and	brother	(	harris	yulin	and	vincent	d'onofrio	,	respectively	)	are	alcoholics	,	his	sister	is	overweight	and	getting	over	another	divorce	,	and	his	mom	is	in	constant	self	denial	and	solves	all	perceived	problems	by	baking	.	then	,	disaster	strikes	.	stuart	accidentally	insults	the	manager	of	the	station	and	gets	his	show	revoked	.	he	is	forced	to	move	back	in	with	his	family	after	he	can	no	longer	support	himself	,	and	there	the	comedy	truly	picks	up	.	franken	wrote	all	of	the	characters	not	just	as	cliches	or	stereotypes	,	but	as	sharply	drawn	,	real	people	.	although	smalley's	dad	has	always	imbibed	too	much	,	stuart	can	still	recall	times	when	his	father	seemed	like	an	okay	guy	.	also	,	after	an	accident	towards	the	end	of	the	movie	,	both	stuart	and	the	audience	learn	that	there	is	more	to	his	mother	than	previously	thought	.	although	filled	with	small	,	very	funny	scenes	,	stuart	saves	his	family	also	has	its	share	of	dramatic	moments	,	especially	towards	the	conclusion	.	for	a	lightweight	comedy	,	it	handles	these	scenes	especially	well	,	often	better	than	many	so	called	"	serious	dramas	"	of	today	.	all	the	more	amazing	is	that	such	a	movie	comes	from	a	saturday	night	live	sketch	that	is	essentially	a	one	joke	bit	.	if	you	feel	like	renting	a	comedy	,	and	you	haven't	seen	this	film	,	i	definitely	recommend	you	try	this	one	out	.	you'll	laugh	.	.	.	you'll	cry	.	.	.	.	it's	all	there	.
pos	the	amusing	thing	about	a	sequel	to	a	sequel	is	that	the	formula	usually	wears	off	by	the	time	you	get	to	it	.	as	i	was	watching	'home	alone	3'	i	was	surprised	at	how	much	charm	it	had	and	the	harmless	fun	of	a	family	film	had	struck	the	kid	in	me	.	macaulay	culkin	,	joe	pesci	and	daniel	stern	are	nowhere	to	be	found	in	this	movie	and	this	one	has	no	connection	in	relation	to	the	previous	two	films	.	although	set	in	a	wealthy	neighbourhood	in	a	chicago	suburb	like	the	first	two	chapters	,	this	third	chapter	to	the	series	offers	a	plot	with	international	intrigue	.	a	computer	chip	vital	to	the	development	of	u	.	s	.	air	force	technology	has	the	potential	of	falling	into	the	wrong	hands	and	miraculously	,	the	chip	falls	into	the	innocent	hands	of	a	little	boy	(	alex	d	.	linz	)	who	doesn't	know	what	he	has	until	late	in	the	movie	.	four	criminals	working	to	smuggle	the	chip	to	the	eventual	buyer	trace	its	whereabouts	to	linz's	neighbourhood	and	come	in	direct	contact	with	his	house	and	the	attempted	recovery	of	the	chip	is	under	way	.	naturally	,	you	can	guess	the	rest	.	booby	traps	abound	as	linz	sets	the	usual	pratfalls	in	motion	complete	with	dispensing	as	much	pain	as	the	villains	deserve	.	some	scenes	are	obviously	a	flagrant	misconception	of	how	things	work	.	there's	a	scene	where	an	fbi	field	office	in	another	city	finds	out	that	the	chip	may	be	in	chicago	and	they	leave	on	the	first	plane	out	.	uh	,	why	not	make	a	simple	phone	call	to	the	chicago	office	and	let	them	take	over	.	since	no	one	believes	linz	in	his	claim	of	burglars	searching	the	homes	in	the	neighbourhood	,	he	straps	a	video	camera	to	his	remote	controlled	truck	toy	and	catches	the	burglars	red	handed	and	the	truck	does	things	in	motion	that	are	totally	unbelievable	.	it	pushes	open	a	steel	gate	,	runs	over	a	person	and	jumps	across	an	alley	in	daredevil	style	.	kids	will	love	it	but	adults	less	cynical	of	breaking	suspension	of	disbelief	rules	in	the	name	of	making	children	laugh	will	enjoy	genuine	laughs	and	overlook	the	flaws	.	scripted	by	john	hughes	who	wrote	and	directed	the	first	two	and	directed	by	raja	gosnell	who	served	as	editor	on	the	first	two	films	,	the	two	of	them	collaborate	here	for	an	installment	in	the	series	that	hopefully	will	be	the	last	one	and	they	should	quit	while	they're	ahead	and	not	push	their	luck	too	far	.	they	got	away	with	this	copy	cat	of	the	first	two	films	but	manage	to	make	it	work	based	on	the	charm	of	a	new	child	hero	so	likable	,	you'll	want	to	take	him	home	with	you	after	the	movie	.
pos	after	watching	the	first	ten	minutes	of	this	japanese	film	,	you	will	never	eat	a	bowl	of	ramen	the	same	way	again	.	there	is	a	scene	where	an	old	man	is	teaching	a	young	one	how	to	eat	the	soupy	bowl	of	noodles	,	as	a	master	would	teach	an	eager	apprentice	.	"	you	caress	the	noodles	with	the	chopsticks	,	"	he	says	,	"	then	put	the	roast	pork	on	the	side	of	the	bowl	and	apologize	to	it	by	saying	,	'see	you	soon	.	'	"	of	course	,	it's	meant	to	be	a	parody	,	but	there	is	an	earnestness	underneath	the	silliness	that	makes	you	take	it	with	a	certain	degree	of	sobriety	.	you	begin	to	appreciate	the	food	as	not	merely	something	you	eat	,	not	something	you	like	,	not	something	you	enjoy	,	but	rather	something	you	experience	.	experiencing	it	is	a	process	which	engages	all	of	the	senses	,	fulfilling	each	one	on	its	own	terms	and	weaving	them	so	that	the	total	is	a	pleasure	that	is	more	than	the	sum	of	its	parts	.	trust	me	,	you	really	want	to	go	find	a	noodle	shop	at	this	point	.	juzo	itami's	tampopo	brings	the	same	sense	of	the	serious	parody	of	food	to	the	forefront	by	making	the	story	follow	the	pattern	of	an	american	western	,	set	in	modern	day	japan	.	a	stranger	,	goro	(	tsutomu	yamazaki	)	,	comes	into	town	and	finds	tampopo	(	nobuko	miyamoto	)	,	the	proprietor	of	a	small	,	hole	in	the	wall	noodle	shop	,	trying	to	fend	off	the	insults	of	the	local	strongman	,	pisken	(	rikiya	yasuoka	)	.	goro	,	to	defend	the	honor	of	this	woman	and	her	noodles	,	gets	into	a	fight	with	the	ringleader	and	his	henchmen	,	emerging	bloodied	,	but	victorious	.	goro	finds	that	tampopo's	ambition	is	to	have	a	shop	that	people	would	flock	to	from	far	away	,	just	to	eat	a	bowl	of	her	ramen	.	the	problem	is	,	her	fare	is	something	less	than	popular	,	and	less	than	appetizing	.	however	,	goro	agrees	to	help	tampopo	in	her	quest	,	and	in	the	process	they	seek	the	wisdom	of	an	elderly	noodle	expert	,	enlist	the	aid	of	a	wealthy	patron	,	and	make	friends	with	the	former	enemy	.	this	film	is	filled	with	many	little	scenes	which	are	absolute	gems	.	take	,	for	example	,	when	tampopo	tries	to	buy	the	recipe	for	a	delicious	soup	from	another	shop	owner	.	the	price	is	too	high	,	but	the	owner	of	the	store	next	door	will	secretly	sell	it	to	her	for	a	more	affordable	sum	.	tampopo	meets	him	at	his	store	late	at	night	,	and	he	leads	her	to	a	back	room	.	she	protests	,	thinking	that	perhaps	this	man	has	ulterior	motives	,	but	he	insists	.	just	when	she	is	about	to	bolt	for	the	exit	,	he	shows	her	a	small	gap	in	the	wall	adjoining	his	store	with	the	noodle	shop	next	door	.	she	peers	through	and	takes	notes	as	she	watches	the	cook	make	the	soup	for	the	next	day	,	her	face	filled	with	a	joy	that	can	be	felt	by	the	audience	.	this	scene	,	while	comical	,	is	very	effective	at	filling	the	viewer	with	a	sense	of	trepidation	,	then	of	relief	and	discovery	.	there's	also	an	interesting	scene	where	goro	introduces	tampopo	and	her	son	to	a	bunch	of	street	people	who	,	despite	their	economic	trappings	,	are	all	gourmets	and	master	sommeliers	.	we	even	watch	as	one	of	them	sneaks	into	the	kitchen	of	a	restaurant	and	expertly	prepares	a	french	omelet	.	the	scene	is	meant	to	bring	a	laugh	,	but	it	also	says	that	no	matter	whether	people	are	rich	or	poor	,	food	is	something	which	everyone	has	in	common	,	and	the	enjoyment	of	food	is	an	experience	shared	by	all	.	there	are	also	a	number	of	unrelated	vignettes	appearing	throughout	the	film	,	which	help	to	illustrate	and	accentuate	the	role	of	food	in	people's	lives	.	a	particularly	effective	one	involves	a	wife	and	mother	being	tended	to	in	her	home	by	a	doctor	.	surrounded	by	her	children	,	she	is	obviously	in	her	last	hours	of	life	.	her	husband	comes	home	,	and	seeing	her	worsened	condition	,	demands	that	she	get	up	and	make	dinner	.	the	viewer	knows	the	husband's	intention	is	not	to	be	mean	;	he	is	desperate	for	the	normalcy	of	which	he	and	his	family	has	obviously	been	deprived	,	and	the	wife	making	dinner	is	an	essential	part	of	this	.	in	a	near	miracle	,	the	wife	drags	herself	to	the	kitchen	and	prepares	a	quick	meal	,	then	brings	it	to	her	awaiting	family	.	as	the	family	eats	,	she	looks	on	them	and	smiles	.	preparing	food	for	her	family	is	a	joy	and	a	comfort	to	her	,	and	for	a	brief	moment	,	she	too	enjoys	the	normalcy	.	then	she	falls	over	,	dead	.	for	a	moment	,	the	family	is	stunned	,	but	then	the	father	yells	at	the	children	,	"	keep	eating	!	this	is	the	last	meal	your	mother	ever	made	!	"	crying	as	they	do	so	,	the	family	finishes	the	meal	.	the	scene	is	comical	,	awkward	,	moving	,	and	beautiful	.	by	including	the	vignettes	,	itami	ran	the	risk	of	creating	a	disjointed	film	,	but	surprisingly	,	they	do	not	interrupt	the	pacing	of	the	main	storyline	.	instead	,	they	even	help	contribute	to	the	idea	that	tampopo's	goal	of	being	able	to	serve	exceptional	food	is	worthy	and	even	noble	.	because	the	film	parodies	a	western	,	the	construction	of	the	plot	is	fairly	predictable	,	but	is	still	enjoyable	as	we	watch	the	familiar	way	in	which	the	"	good	guys	"	come	together	for	the	final	showdown	.	in	this	case	,	the	showdown	is	against	the	ramen	.	if	they	eat	tampopo's	ramen	,	soup	and	all	,	tampopo	knows	she	has	succeeded	.	it's	pretty	obvious	what	the	outcome	will	be	,	but	when	a	film	changes	your	whole	perspective	on	something	you	consume	every	day	of	your	life	,	you	can	afford	to	cut	it	a	little	slack	.
pos	writer	director	jake	kasdan's	zero	effect	gets	its	title	from	its	main	character	,	daryl	zero	(	bill	pullman	)	.	zero	is	perhaps	the	world's	greatest	private	detective	,	solving	many	a	case	without	even	setting	foot	outside	of	his	well	secured	penthouse	apartment	.	and	that's	the	problem	zero	is	unquestionably	a	head	case	,	a	shut	in	with	no	social	skills	whatsoever	,	writing	bad	love	songs	,	guzzling	cans	of	tab	,	and	eating	tuna	straight	from	the	can	when	not	working	on	a	case	.	his	only	contact	with	the	outside	world	comes	in	the	form	of	his	overworked	assistant	,	attorney	steve	arlo	(	ben	stiller	)	.	from	the	sounds	of	it	,	zero	effect	sounds	like	one	of	those	painfully	labored	and	unfunny	comedies	focusing	on	a	wacky	hero	who	somehow	achieves	brilliance	through	his	sheer	stupidity	and	dumb	luck	.	in	reality	,	though	,	the	film	could	not	be	more	different	.	while	it	does	have	its	share	of	humorous	moments	,	zero	effect	is	an	intriguing	character	study	of	its	protagonist	disguised	as	a	conventional	comic	mystery	.	not	that	there	isn't	a	mystery	involved	,	and	it	is	certainly	one	of	zero	effect's	weakest	points	.	zero	is	hired	by	wealthy	portland	businessman	gregory	stark	(	ryan	o'neal	)	to	recover	a	set	of	lost	keys	.	naturally	,	this	simple	investigation	leads	to	something	more	complex	,	mainly	a	blackmail	scheme	involving	stark	and	a	paramedic	named	gloria	sullivan	(	kim	dickens	)	.	how	this	mechanical	mystery	plays	out	is	flat	,	suspenseless	,	and	more	than	a	little	predictable	,	not	helped	at	all	by	kasdan's	unnecessarily	languid	pacing	.	however	,	with	the	development	of	gloria's	relationship	with	an	incognito	zero	the	film	achieves	a	surprising	poignance	.	zero	may	be	an	oddball	,	but	he's	also	incredibly	intelligent	,	and	that	is	the	root	cause	of	his	reclusiveness	.	throughout	the	film	,	zero	describes	his	investigation	technique	in	a	"	how	to	"	voiceover	,	and	it	is	here	that	he	explains	the	key	to	his	success	:	"	the	two	'obs'	"	objectivity	and	observation	.	in	becoming	the	best	p	.	i	.	in	the	world	,	zero	has	mastered	the	art	of	objectivity	,	literally	and	figuratively	detaching	himself	from	the	rest	of	the	world	.	when	the	investigation	forces	him	to	deal	directly	with	gloria	,	zero	is	treated	to	his	first	genuine	emotional	human	contact	and	a	glimpse	of	what	real	life	is	about	direct	involvement	,	not	objective	observation	.	this	is	not	to	say	that	zero	effect	degenerates	into	something	sappy	and	touchy	feely	;	the	power	of	the	relationship	and	its	effects	on	zero	and	gloria	derives	from	its	subtle	execution	.	zero	effect	is	not	a	perfect	debut	for	kasdan	(	son	of	lawrence	)	;	in	addition	to	the	by	the	numbers	mystery	,	there	is	also	a	weak	subplot	revolving	around	the	strain	arlo's	work	puts	on	his	relationship	with	his	girlfriend	(	angela	featherstone	)	.	but	even	in	its	flawed	form	,	zero	effect	is	a	lot	more	accomplished	and	mature	than	a	lot	of	work	by	more	established	filmmakers	.
pos	directed	by	michael	mann	.	screenplay	by	eric	roth	and	mann	,	from	the	article	"	the	man	who	knew	too	much	"	by	marie	brenner	.	starring	al	pacino	,	russell	crowe	,	christopher	plummer	.	running	time	:	188	minutes	.	rated	aa	for	offensive	language	.	reviewed	on	march	5th	,	2000	.	there	are	days	when	i'm	flabbergasted	by	the	power	of	big	business	.	they	have	the	power	,	the	money	,	and	the	influence	to	seemingly	do	whatever	they	want	.	governments	kowtow	to	them	,	common	man	is	overwhelmed	by	them	.	when	a	corporation	can	throw	hundreds	of	thousands	of	dollars	into	a	legal	campaign	,	or	use	media	connections	to	denigrate	their	opponents	,	how	can	joe	average	compete	?	"	the	insider	"	is	the	story	of	just	such	a	battle	,	based	on	real	events	from	the	mid	nineties	.	jeffrey	wigand	(	russell	crowe	)	,	newly	fired	from	his	job	as	a	research	and	development	executive	with	tobacco	giant	brown	williamson	,	is	asked	by	"	60	minutes	"	producer	lowell	bergman	(	al	pacino	)	to	assist	him	on	a	story	related	to	the	cigarette	industry	.	bergman	soon	realizes	that	wigand's	knowledge	of	evidence	damaging	to	big	tobacco	extends	well	beyond	the	scope	of	his	current	story	.	he	attempts	to	persuade	wigand	to	come	forward	with	what	he	knows	for	a	"	60	minutes	"	segment	with	mike	wallace	(	christopher	plummer	)	.	this	in	of	itself	would	make	for	a	remarkable	film	.	wigand's	inner	conflict	should	he	talk	or	shouldn't	he	?	is	poignant	and	involving	.	not	only	does	wigand	have	to	deal	with	the	legal	ramifications	of	going	on	"	60	minutes	"	(	he	has	signed	a	confidentiality	agreement	with	brown	williamson	)	but	he	soon	finds	his	old	bosses	applying	more	dubious	means	of	persuasion	he	is	followed	and	sent	threatening	messages	.	or	is	he	?	in	real	life	,	none	of	wigand's	accusations	about	brown	williamson's	tactics	were	substantiated	.	"	the	insider	"	leans	toward	wigand's	side	of	the	story	,	but	leaves	the	question	open	.	is	the	man	at	the	golf	course	spying	on	wigand	,	or	just	watching	him	because	wigand	is	himself	behaving	oddly	?	was	a	bullet	left	in	his	mailbox	as	a	warning	,	or	did	wigand	put	it	there	himself	?	even	wigand's	then	wife	leane	(	diane	venora	)	has	since	accused	him	of	the	latter	.	making	wigand's	conflict	even	more	engrossing	is	the	fact	that	he	is	married	with	children	.	were	he	single	,	going	on	"	60	minutes	"	would	be	a	noble	and	selfless	act	.	but	his	entire	family	appears	to	be	at	risk	(	from	economic	hardship	caused	by	the	termination	of	wigand's	severance	pay	,	if	not	from	the	tobacco	giants	themselves	)	.	can	he	put	the	interests	of	the	nation	above	his	marriage	?	in	many	ways	,	wigand	is	a	tragic	character	no	matter	what	he	decides	,	people	will	be	hurt	,	himself	included	.	the	ways	in	which	he	copes	with	this	fact	comprise	some	of	"	the	insider	"	's	quietest	but	most	touching	moments	.	the	engaging	first	act	segues	neatly	into	the	second	,	where	pacino's	character	takes	center	stage	.	with	the	wigand	"	60	minutes	"	segment	in	the	can	,	everything	looks	set	until	cbs's	legal	department	intervenes	.	lawyer	helen	caperelli	(	gina	gershon	)	believes	that	because	bergman	encouraged	wigand	to	break	his	confidentiality	agreement	,	cbs	could	be	liable	for	billions	of	dollars	.	to	bergman's	horror	,	both	wallace	and	cbs	news	chief	don	hewitt	(	philip	baker	hall	)	agree	to	edit	the	segment	to	remove	wigand's	interview	,	despite	the	supposed	autonomy	of	the	news	division	within	the	cbs	hierarchy	.	to	make	matters	worse	,	big	tobacco	begins	a	smear	campaign	against	wigand	which	,	if	successful	,	will	destroy	his	credibility	,	making	his	interview	worthless	even	if	cbs	does	eventually	acquiesce	.	although	not	as	compelling	as	wigand's	personal	journey	,	bergman's	efforts	to	fight	both	cbs	management	and	the	anti	wigand	publicity	are	exciting	and	provide	a	dynamic	counterpoint	to	the	film's	emotional	and	ethical	struggles	.	it	is	in	these	scenes	that	"	the	insider	"	plays	most	loosely	with	the	facts	,	building	up	bergman	as	the	hero	of	the	debacle	.	this	is	to	the	detriment	of	people	like	wallace	and	hewitt	,	who	come	across	more	like	corporate	lackeys	.	many	of	the	feats	the	movie	attributes	to	bergman	are	exaggerations	or	wholesale	fabrications	feeding	"	the	wall	street	journal	"	information	to	disprove	big	tobacco's	smear	campaign	,	for	example	.	(	in	reality	,	bergman	had	nothing	to	do	with	the	"	journal's	"	pulitzer	prize	winning	article	.	)	but	i	find	it	difficult	to	criticize	"	the	insider	"	on	this	basis	.	this	is	a	drama	,	after	all	,	not	a	documentary	,	and	without	a	central	hero	in	bergman	,	the	film	would	probably	be	weaker	.	it	is	also	important	to	point	out	that	both	hall	and	plummer	maintain	their	characters'	core	integrity	throughout	.	plummer	has	an	especially	powerful	scene	after	a	newspaper	editorial	accuses	"	60	minutes	"	of	dishonoring	"	the	legacy	of	edward	r	murrow	"	.	both	crowe	(	in	an	oscar	nominated	performance	)	and	pacino	are	terrific	throughout	"	the	insider	"	.	they	find	just	the	right	note	of	realism	in	their	characters	,	not	playing	them	as	overtly	heroic	but	sustaining	our	interest	nonetheless	.	without	this	,	scenes	like	the	one	where	wigand	,	on	the	slippery	slope	toward	a	nervous	breakdown	,	hallucinates	about	his	daughters	would	come	across	as	farcical	,	not	enthralling	.	both	bergman	and	,	in	particular	,	wigand	are	ordinary	people	thrust	into	extraordinary	circumstances	,	and	"	the	insider	"	does	well	not	to	forget	that	.	also	excellent	is	michael	mann's	direction	,	which	keeps	up	the	pace	while	recalling	that	,	at	its	heart	,	this	is	a	very	human	story	.	there	is	a	scene	toward	the	beginning	where	wigand	and	bergman	converse	in	the	cramped	interior	of	wigand's	car	.	it	is	raining	,	and	they	are	parked	near	a	lake	,	the	car	sinking	slowly	into	the	mud	.	it	is	little	more	than	a	static	dialogue	scene	,	but	the	setting	conveys	a	sense	of	claustrophobia	and	isolation	which	makes	it	clear	that	there	is	already	no	way	out	for	wigand	.	he	has	to	make	his	choice	and	bear	the	consequences	,	and	he	can	escape	neither	.	in	the	end	,	"	the	insider	"	shows	that	it	is	possible	to	beat	big	business	,	if	one	is	willing	to	endure	the	inherent	risks	,	and	has	a	little	help	from	friends	in	high	places	of	their	own	.	but	we	do	not	live	in	a	black	and	white	world	,	and	no	matter	how	noble	the	cause	,	such	a	struggle	will	have	undesirable	consequences	for	everyone	it	touches	.	the	real	question	is	whether	the	people	involved	will	be	transformed	by	these	consequences	,	or	destroyed	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	theinsider	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	theinsider	.	html	a
pos	vampire	films	,	as	well	as	other	horror	films	,	are	usually	dumb	and	predictable	b	movies	,	meant	to	scare	us	by	cliches	and	simple	shocks	.	it	is	therefore	interesting	to	watch	neil	jordans	recent	film	that	is	not	only	visually	stunning	,	but	has	also	a	plot	worth	making	movies	about	.	based	on	anne	rice's	novel	,	"	interview	with	a	vampire	"	is	a	long	,	dark	trip	to	hell	.	the	film	opens	with	gothic	quire	and	dark	streets	of	present	day	san	francisco	.	the	camera	slowly	find	particular	window	.	a	shape	of	a	young	man	is	visible	in	the	darkness	.	"	so	you	want	me	to	tell	you	the	story	of	my	life	?	"	.	the	mysterious	man	is	louis	(	brad	pitt	)	,	a	two	century	old	vampire	,	telling	his	story	to	a	fascinated	interviewer	(	christian	slater	)	.	his	tale	opens	in	1791	louisiana	,	just	south	of	new	orleans	,	where	louis	falls	victim	to	the	vampire	lestat	(	tom	cruise	)	.	given	a	choice	between	death	and	eternal	life	as	one	of	the	undead	,	louis	chooses	the	latter	,	a	decision	he	will	forever	regret	.	everlasting	life	and	eternal	youth	,	promised	to	him	by	lestat	,	turn	instead	into	never	ending	suffering	,	damned	to	eternal	hunger	for	blood	and	longing	for	peace	.	louis	cannot	kill	with	the	impunity	of	lestat	,	but	,	to	sate	his	hunger	,	he	must	feed	,	and	the	blood	of	animals	is	not	enough	.	eventually	,	he	pierces	the	neck	of	a	grief	stricken	young	girl	named	claudia	(	kirsten	dunst	)	,	whom	lestat	then	curses	with	his	unholy	form	of	resurrection	so	that	she	can	be	a	surrogate	daughter	to	both	himself	and	louis	.	for	a	while	,	they	are	one	"	big	,	happy	family	.	"	but	all	things	end	,	and	claudia's	growing	resentment	of	lestat	fuels	a	bloody	confrontation	.	when	luis	and	claudia	break	loose	from	lestat	,	they	travel	to	paris	,	where	the	euro	vamps	santiago	(	stephen	rea	)	and	armand	(	antonio	banderas	)	,	who	introduced	them	to	a	bigger	world	of	the	damned	.	director	neil	jordan	(	"	the	crying	game	"	)	together	with	the	talented	director	of	cinematography	philippe	rousselot	and	composer	elliot	goldenthal	has	created	an	incredible	atmosphere	.	as	the	film	begins	,	there	is	an	incredible	palette	of	colors	,	beautiful	sunrises	,	lush	golden	fields	,	green	forests	,	inky	blue	clouds	and	blending	sun	.	when	luis	is	"	born	to	darkness	"	,	everything	suddenly	changes	to	dark	velvet	,	lit	only	by	the	silver	moonlight	.	the	beautiful	production	design	by	dante	ferretti	,	wonderful	costumes	and	art	direction	by	malcolm	middleton	re	create	the	multiple	historical	periods	in	the	film	.	from	the	renaissance	new	orleans	and	the	beautiful	rococo	paris	of	the	18th	century	,	to	our	present	days	.	the	casting	is	likewise	good	,	involving	some	of	the	most	famous	and	beautiful	stars	of	hollywood	,	ireland	and	spain	.	the	controversial	casting	of	tom	cruise	as	lestat	is	incredibly	effective	.	cruise	is	energetic	,	sinister	,	charismatic	,	wild	and	bloodthirsty	.	cruise's	lestat	likes	to	seduce	young	women	before	exacting	his	dark	red	sustenance	.	with	alarming	swiftness	,	the	victims	switch	from	sexual	excitement	to	outright	horror	,	as	his	murderous	purpose	becomes	clear	.	"	.	.	.	kill	them	mercifully	,	but	do	it	.	you	are	what	you	are	.	.	for	do	not	doubt	,	you	are	a	killer	!	"	that	is	how	lestat	is	teaching	luis	.	but	behind	that	furious	facade	is	anger	and	loneliness	that	he	carries	through	the	centuries	and	tries	to	smother	with	nightly	rampages	.	brad	pitt	is	equally	convincing	as	the	"	vampire	with	a	human	soul	"	.	antonio	banderas	and	stephen	rea	are	effective	,	but	since	they	play	more	or	less	secondary	characters	,	their	performances	are	almost	invisible	.	the	greatest	performance	in	the	film	comes	suprisingly	from	the	young	kristen	dunst	,	who	manages	to	create	an	incredibly	emotional	and	believable	character	.	the	world	is	changing	around	the	little	child	,	but	she	does	not	.	she	remains	unchangeable	a	child	for	all	eternity	.	only	her	wise	,	dark	eyes	reveal	her	age	.	ironically	the	film's	only	miss	is	the	script	.	anne	rice's	novel	is	a	very	interesting	read	,	and	her	script	is	rich	,	colorful	and	emotional	,	but	it	is	also	tiering	and	too	melancholic	,	at	times	resembling	a	soap	opera	:	claudia	:	"	.	.	.	.	is	that	what	i	should	do	?	let	you	go	.	.	my	father	,	my	luis	,	who	made	me	.	.	.	who	will	look	after	me	,	my	dark	angel	,	when	you	are	gone	?	"	luis	:	"	everything	will	be	alright	.	.	"	claudia	:	"	do	you	really	believe	that	?	"	and	then	they	hug	emotionally	.	moments	like	those	displayed	above	and	luis'	self	pity	is	a	bit	tiresome	.	however	rice's	script	is	otherwise	strong	and	well	structured	,	bringing	up	humor	and	comic	episodes	,	that	were	more	or	less	hidden	in	the	book	.	when	lestat	finds	claudia's	dead	dressmaker	,	whom	she	has	killed	,	he	cries	out	:	"	who	will	make	you	that	dress	now	?	be	a	little	practical	.	.	.	.	never	in	the	house	!	"	moments	like	that	are	both	entertaining	and	appealing	.	neil	jordan's	direction	is	beautiful	and	sensual	as	he	plays	with	interesting	issues	like	eternity	,	homosexuality	,	love	and	loneliness	.	his	gothic	saga	is	not	meant	to	scare	,	but	to	display	these	issues	differently	.	wrapped	up	in	mystery	,	his	new	,	original	picture	brings	vampire	films	to	a	new	height	.
pos	there	are	some	works	of	art	that	are	almost	impossible	to	review	,	not	because	of	their	own	complexity	,	but	because	of	their	legendary	status	which	prevents	the	reviewer	to	say	anything	original	.	one	of	such	masterpieces	is	casablanca	,	probably	not	the	best	film	in	the	history	of	the	seventh	art	,	but	definitely	the	most	popular	one	.	its	popularity	can	be	measured	not	in	a	multitude	of	more	or	less	disguised	remakes	that	were	made	in	more	than	half	a	century	since	its	premiere	,	but	also	in	countless	tributes	and	references	that	movie	makers	use	in	their	works	to	this	day	.	casablanca	is	also	a	movie	that	has	the	very	rare	virtue	of	both	being	praised	by	the	critics	and	loved	by	general	audience	.	one	of	the	things	that	makes	this	film	even	more	unique	was	the	fact	that	it	was	doomed	to	fail	,	at	least	judging	by	conventional	movie	making	wisdom	of	its	time	.	it	was	based	on	a	broadway	play	so	mediocre	that	it	hadn't	been	produced	on	stage	;	screenplay	by	three	writers	julius	g	.	epstein	,	philip	j	.	epstein	and	howard	koch	was	beeing	written	as	shooting	went	along	;	the	main	actors	were	producers'	second	choice	,	and	,	finally	,	man	behind	camera	,	michael	curtiz	was	considered	to	be	capable	,	but	not	great	director	.	however	,	the	movie	was	commercially	successful	and	earned	three	"	oscars	"	,	including	the	one	for	the	best	film	.	until	this	very	day	,	it	is	considered	to	be	the	best	example	of	hollywood	film	making	in	its	own	golden	age	.	the	plot	of	the	movie	was	heavily	influenced	by	the	needs	of	ww2	propaganda	,	yet	it	also	used	rather	complicated	and	now	almost	forgotten	political	circumstances	of	that	global	conflict	in	order	to	make	intriguing	story	.	in	december	1941	,	casablanca	,	exotic	port	on	the	atlantic	coast	of	north	africa	is	controlled	by	officially	neutral	,	yet	nazi	collaborating	french	vichy	government	.	thousands	of	refugees	from	war	torn	europe	are	stuck	there	on	the	way	to	lisbon	and	safety	of	america	,	and	ready	to	pay	any	price	for	precious	exit	visas	.	many	shady	characters	thrive	on	their	misery	,	including	the	corrupt	police	chief	,	captain	renault	(	rains	)	.	his	best	friend	is	rick	blaine	(	bogart	)	,	who	used	to	be	idealistic	anti	fascist	,	and	now	owns	popular	night	club	in	casablanca	and	lives	by	his	own	cynical	philosophy	of	"	sticking	his	neck	for	nobody	"	.	however	,	everything	changes	when	he	gets	in	possession	of	two	precious	extra	visas	.	this	event	coincides	with	the	arrival	of	two	new	refugees	to	casablanca	.	one	of	them	is	victor	laszlo	(	henreid	)	,	czech	resistance	leader	who	escaped	three	times	from	nazi	concentration	camps	and	became	the	legend	of	enslaved	europe	.	he	is	accompanied	by	his	beautiful	wife	ilsa	lund	(	bergman	)	,	with	whom	rick	had	a	stormy	affair	in	the	eve	of	nazi	occupation	of	paris	.	the	couple	needs	visas	,	especially	because	of	the	gestapo	major	strasser	(	veidt	)	being	on	their	trail	.	rick	is	now	forced	to	choose	between	love	,	wounded	pride	,	self	preserving	interest	and	his	own	hatred	of	fascism	.	the	casting	for	this	movie	seems	influenced	by	divine	inspiration	humphrey	bogart	,	most	legendary	actor	in	the	history	of	cinema	,	is	one	of	the	rare	character	actors	who	elevated	his	persona	to	the	star	status	.	bogart's	portrayal	of	rick	as	complicated	man	,	torn	between	idealistic	past	and	bitter	present	,	was	so	perfect	,	that	his	icon	would	forever	be	connected	with	that	character	.	another	icon	in	his	company	is	ingrid	bergman	,	great	actress	of	old	hollywood	,	here	in	her	artistic	and	visual	prime	.	the	cinematic	coupling	of	bogart	and	bergman	became	one	of	the	main	symbols	of	that	era	of	filmmaking	some	happier	times	when	the	romance	on	the	screen	didn't	look	childish	nor	trite	like	in	some	more	contemporary	works	.	for	many	people	,	casablanca	is	probably	the	best	romantic	film	ever	made	.	but	the	reason	for	that	isn't	the	romance	itself	it's	the	realistic	story	of	people	forced	to	make	tough	,	and	often	wrong	choices	in	their	life	.	the	casting	of	casablanca	was	right	on	target	not	just	in	a	case	of	main	leads	.	the	supporting	actors	also	did	a	marvellous	job	.	sidney	longstreet	and	peter	lorre	were	here	mainly	to	give	a	mystic	flavour	spotted	in	a	previous	bogart	classic	john	huston's	maltese	falcon	;	yet	both	of	them	managed	to	portray	colourful	and	original	characters	.	another	shining	example	of	good	casting	is	now	almost	forgotten	paul	henreid	as	the	weakest	part	of	love	triangle	;	character	of	victor	laszlo	has	believable	charisma	and	looks	like	a	somebody	who	could	inspire	millions	of	people	to	rise	against	nazi	tiranny	.	unfortunately	,	the	charisma	that	burdened	laszlo	,	leaves	little	place	for	difficult	choice	,	making	his	character	forever	overshadowed	by	rick	ilsa	coupling	.	however	,	rick	and	ilsa	actually	have	a	serious	competiton	for	most	memorable	character	in	casablanca	.	captain	renault	,	brilliantly	portrayed	by	claude	rains	in	a	role	of	a	lifetime	,	was	embodiment	of	perfect	,	almost	unmatched	balance	between	ethical	corruption	and	physical	charm	.	despite	being	the	undoubtful	villain	in	almost	entire	movie	,	rains	managed	to	make	renault	sympathetic	character	,	and	his	final	conversion	to	the	side	of	good	,	symbolized	in	not	so	subtle	gesture	at	the	end	of	movie	looked	unnecessary	.	rains	also	gave	another	dimension	to	the	movie	,	making	it	even	more	ambiguous	;	people	who	like	to	analyse	movies	to	death	discovered	signs	of	homosexuality	in	renault's	relationship	towards	rick	,	and	rick's	final	words	leave	room	for	even	more	outrageous	speculations	.	together	with	well	drawn	characters	and	exciting	story	,	the	movie	was	good	in	creating	his	own	atmosphere	.	professional	nitpickers	would	probably	have	a	field	day	in	discovering	numerous	historical	and	geographical	inaccuracies	,	but	casablanca	is	still	a	shining	example	of	hollywood	ww2	movie	that	is	beliavable	,	if	not	realistic	.	any	way	,	even	if	we	don't	see	it	as	a	historical	document	,	casablanca	is	movie	that	can	be	source	of	entertainment	as	well	as	infinite	inspiration	.
pos	scream	2	(	dimension	1997	)	starring	david	arquette	,	neve	campbell	,	courteney	cox	,	sarah	michelle	gellar	,	jamie	kennedy	,	laurie	metcalf	,	elise	neal	,	jerry	o'connell	,	timothy	olyphant	,	jada	pinkett	,	liev	schreiber	screenplay	by	kevin	williamson	produced	by	cathy	konrad	,	marianne	maddalena	directed	by	wes	craven	running	time	:	120	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	on	december	20	,	1996	,	amidst	all	the	year	end	oscar	bait	releases	from	the	major	studios	,	miramax's	genre	label	dimension	films	quietly	released	a	sly	little	ensemble	slasher	flick	titled	scream	.	although	the	teen	horror	market	had	been	given	up	for	all	but	dead	in	recent	years	,	the	film	shocked	industry	observers	by	scoring	consistently	high	box	office	returns	,	eventually	topping	100	million	domestic	and	becoming	one	of	the	most	successful	films	of	its	type	in	history	,	while	delighting	audiences	by	finally	presenting	a	set	of	knowing	slasher	flick	protagonists	who	were	aware	of	the	all	the	standard	cliches	associated	with	the	genre	.	the	sleeper	success	of	scream	sent	shockwaves	through	the	industry	suddenly	,	everybody	was	looking	for	hip	,	inexpensive	fright	films	that	might	be	able	to	reap	similar	fortunes	.	the	strategy	of	casting	young	tv	stars	to	draw	the	youth	demographic	was	given	a	boost	.	scream	director	wes	craven	,	previously	best	known	as	the	creator	of	new	line's	a	nightmare	on	elm	street	film	series	,	was	thrust	back	into	the	limelight	.	and	scream's	rookie	scribe	,	kevin	williamson	,	burst	onto	the	film	scene	in	stunning	fashion	.	it's	hard	to	understate	this	last	point	.	mr	.	williamson	has	,	based	upon	his	produced	screenplays	as	of	this	writing	(	scream	,	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	from	october	1997	,	and	now	scream	2	)	,	enjoyed	a	meteoric	rise	to	fame	,	quickly	become	the	most	well	known	screenwriter	amongst	the	entertainment	weekly	reading	,	box	office	figure	watching	youth	culture	since	well	,	since	that	quentin	tarantino	guy	(	whom	,	it	is	said	,	has	also	achieved	some	renown	as	a	director	)	.	indeed	,	in	a	singularly	freakish	oddity	,	it	is	the	screenwriter	,	mr	.	williamson	,	and	not	the	director	that	has	been	receiving	the	lion's	share	of	acclaim	for	the	success	of	scream	,	and	the	print	advertisements	for	scream	2's	theatrical	release	are	similarly	indicative	of	his	increasing	prominence	:	while	the	traditional	"	a	film	by	wes	craven	"	drapes	the	film's	title	in	the	ads	,	right	below	it	(	in	equal	sized	font	,	yet	)	reads	"	written	by	kevin	williamson	"	,	an	affirmation	of	the	screenwriter's	contribution	to	the	project	which	may	be	unprecedented	.	(	i	can	envision	the	board	of	wga	,	licking	their	chops	at	this	coup	and	counting	the	days	until	their	goal	of	"	a	film	by	director	and	screenwriter	"	is	attained	.	)	and	,	much	like	mr	.	tarantino's	screenwriting	,	mr	.	williamson's	work	is	vaguely	unconventional	,	incorporating	both	contemporary	pop	culture	references	and	allusions	to	other	films	into	the	dialogue	of	his	characters	.	in	scream	,	they	satirically	discussed	other	horror	films	;	here	in	the	sequel	,	the	characters	discuss	the	relative	merits	of	film	sequels	.	scream	was	written	in	1995	during	the	infamous	bob	dole	rampage	against	hollywood	,	and	mr	.	williamson's	rejection	of	this	tirade	clearly	influenced	the	writing	in	both	that	film	and	this	sequel	.	while	the	sequel	was	planned	from	the	outset	a	treatment	of	scream	2	was	included	when	mr	.	williamson	sold	the	screenplay	for	scream	the	basic	premise	for	the	film	and	the	reunion	of	the	surviving	characters	nevertheless	seems	extremely	artificially	contrived	,	and	it's	only	at	about	the	film's	midway	point	when	it	becomes	engaging	.	like	its	predecessor	,	scream	2	opens	with	a	splashy	,	eye	grabbing	prologue	which	only	vaguely	ties	into	the	film's	principal	narrative	;	this	time	around	,	we're	following	the	exploits	of	a	young	couple	(	jada	pinkett	and	omar	epps	)	attending	a	riotously	gleeful	sneak	preview	screening	of	stab	(	a	running	film	within	a	film	gag	where	the	"	true	life	"	events	behind	the	first	film	has	been	turned	into	a	movie	)	.	however	,	although	it	tries	hard	and	has	some	good	ideas	the	nightmarishly	enthusiastic	audience	in	the	film	vaguely	reminded	me	of	the	one	i	was	sharing	the	theatre	with	,	and	i	was	certainly	thinking	about	gutting	the	overly	noisy	person	a	few	seats	away	myself	after	about	fifteen	minutes	the	prologue	is	a	pale	imitation	of	the	bravura	opening	sequence	in	the	original	with	drew	barrymore	(	where	her	performance	not	only	convinced	me	that	she	could	act	,	but	was	so	good	that	it	would	rank	among	the	best	performances	in	a	horror	film	that	i've	ever	seen	)	.	there	are	too	many	knowing	,	hip	pop	culture	references	crammed	into	the	scream	2	sequence	,	and	the	setup	isn't	nearly	as	cleverly	frightening	as	scream's	;	while	the	first	film's	preface	dizzyingly	built	up	to	a	final	shot	that	was	exhilaratingly	terrifying	,	the	payoff	here	is	almost	campily	theatrical	.	flash	to	the	campus	of	a	smalltown	ohio	college	,	where	returning	characters	sidney	(	neve	campbell	)	and	randy	(	jamie	kennedy	)	have	relocated	for	their	studies	and	to	escape	the	notoriety	from	the	events	in	the	first	film	.	the	murders	which	open	this	film	result	in	reuniting	the	survivors	single	minded	tabloid	tv	reporter	gale	weathers	(	courteney	cox	)	roars	into	town	to	cover	the	breaking	story	,	while	ever	awkward	former	deputy	dewey	riley	(	david	arquette	)	flies	in	to	protectively	guard	over	sidney	.	they're	joined	by	cotton	weary	(	liev	schreiber	)	,	who	was	falsely	accused	of	homicide	in	a	cameo	appearance	during	the	first	film	;	his	role	here	is	significantly	expanded	.	the	film	incidentally	provides	surprisingly	little	backstory	,	although	i	suppose	a	good	case	can	be	made	that	it	really	isn't	necessary	not	because	so	many	people	have	seen	the	first	installment	,	but	because	this	is	,	after	all	,	a	sequel	to	a	slasher	film	:	what	do	you	think	happened	to	these	characters	in	the	prior	movie	?	there's	a	lot	of	new	faces	on	the	scene	too	:	sidney's	new	boyfriend	,	derek	(	jerry	o'connell	)	and	her	new	roommate	hallie	(	elise	neal	)	,	randy's	fellow	film	student	mickey	(	timothy	olyphant	)	,	gale's	newly	assigned	nervous	cameraman	joel	(	duane	martin	)	,	omnipresent	local	journalist	debbie	salt	(	laurie	metcalf	)	,	co	ed	cici	cooper	(	ms	.	buffy	herself	,	sarah	michelle	gellar	)	,	and	a	pair	of	simpering	sorority	sisters	(	rebecca	gayheart	and	sirens'	portia	di	rossi	)	.	any	of	these	characters	could	be	the	killer	or	for	that	matter	,	could	be	the	next	victim	.	as	is	seemingly	becoming	a	regular	staple	of	a	kevin	williamson	screenplay	,	the	narrative	is	once	again	framed	around	the	increasingly	flimsy	premise	of	a	whodunit	.	one	problem	that	scream	didn't	have	was	keeping	you	interested	in	the	identity	of	the	killer	.	here	(	and	to	some	extent	in	i	know	what	you	did	last	summer	)	,	mr	.	williamson's	screenplay	seems	slightly	hampered	by	trying	to	turn	the	identity	of	the	killer	into	a	mystery	.	the	film	occasionally	becomes	so	bogged	down	with	misdirection	that	you	can	sense	it	straining	at	the	seams	to	try	and	drop	red	herrings	left	and	right	at	the	expense	of	its	thriller	elements	.	(	it	doesn't	help	matters	any	that	the	killer's	alter	ego	is	fairly	obvious	from	the	get	go	.	)	indeed	,	the	finale	plays	as	full	out	camp	when	the	villain	is	finally	unmasked	,	frothing	at	the	mouth	with	glazed	eyes	.	this	is	one	of	those	cases	where	the	villain	goes	on	such	an	endless	diatribe	about	their	machinations	,	scheming	,	and	motivation	,	that	you	actually	get	bored	listening	and	just	want	them	all	to	get	on	with	it	.	while	the	basic	setup	and	premise	for	the	film	is	fairly	contrived	,	the	aspect	where	it's	head	and	shoulders	above	its	predecessor	is	in	its	suspense	sequences	.	they're	staged	much	more	imaginatively	here	(	save	for	the	first	post	prologue	murder	,	which	is	handled	in	such	a	mediocre	,	conventional	fashion	that	it	seems	to	be	culled	directly	from	the	predictable	1980s	slasher	flicks	that	the	first	film	satirized	)	,	and	are	much	more	fun	to	watch	.	it's	hard	to	hold	back	a	smile	during	a	giddy	scene	where	sidney	and	her	companion	have	to	climb	over	the	incapacitated	killer	in	order	to	escape	from	a	car	wreck	,	and	a	cat	and	mouse	chase	involving	gale	and	dewey	in	a	campus	sound	lab	is	very	nicely	staged	,	although	its	ultimate	resolution	is	hilariously	overblown	.	in	terms	of	its	characters	,	the	strong	part	of	the	film	is	the	interesting	relationship	between	gale	and	dewey	(	who	ambles	onto	the	screen	accompanied	by	his	very	own	theme	music	)	.	their	verbal	sparring	at	the	outset	provides	much	humour	an	exchange	where	dewey	defensively	rebukes	charges	of	a	perceived	aura	of	incompetency	is	well	written	and	there's	a	curiously	endearing	aspect	about	their	relationship	amidst	all	the	mayhem	and	bloodshed	.	on	the	other	hand	,	sidney	is	pretty	dull	here	.	she	doesn't	have	any	compelling	presence	,	and	there's	nothing	particularly	interesting	about	her	this	time	around	to	make	us	care	about	her	other	than	that	she's	the	returning	heroine	.	given	this	,	and	the	fact	that	there's	no	strong	second	banana	character	for	sidney	(	elise	neal's	role	isn't	nearly	substantive	enough	to	adequately	fill	rose	mcgowan's	shoes	)	,	it's	no	wonder	why	the	roles	for	gale	and	dewey	have	been	significantly	augmented	for	this	installment	of	the	film	.	what	surprises	me	the	most	about	scream	2	is	its	zealousness	in	decimating	its	cast	.	the	film's	mounting	body	count	bears	out	the	fact	that	no	character	is	safe	(	well	,	almost	)	;	while	in	principal	i	applaud	this	bold	policy	,	at	some	point	you've	got	to	be	wondering	about	just	how	many	characters	will	make	it	to	the	next	sequel	.	(	i	was	particularly	surprised	with	the	untimely	demise	of	one	in	particular	,	whose	casting	for	the	next	installment	of	the	series	would've	seemed	obvious	.	)	but	hey	,	as	rose	mcgowan's	character	said	in	the	first	film	:	"	no	,	please	don't	kill	me	,	mr	.	ghostface	i	want	to	be	in	the	sequel	!	"	look	what	that	got	her	.
pos	kitschy	seventies	comedy	does	battle	with	some	painful	dramatics	in	ang	lee's	highly	regarded	the	ice	storm	,	but	the	question	of	which	of	these	wins	is	still	in	the	air	.	it's	1973	,	and	the	sexual	revolution	is	in	full	bloom	.	so	are	the	thick	shag	carpets	,	glass	bead	necklaces	,	watergate	hearings	,	and	teen	angst	.	and	its	an	arctic	thanksgiving	weekend	in	connecticut	where	these	things	all	come	together	,	at	the	home	of	a	small	and	highly	dysfunctional	family	.	kline	and	allen	are	the	hapless	parents	of	maguire	and	ricci	,	and	everyone's	up	to	no	good	in	the	sex	department	.	dad	is	having	an	affair	with	the	next	door	neighbor	(	weaver	)	,	and	the	kids	are	ripe	for	all	manner	of	trouble	with	show	and	tell	games	,	experimental	drugs	,	et	.	al	.	oh	,	and	mom	is	pretty	pissed	about	all	of	this	.	taken	the	wrong	way	,	all	of	this	can	be	pretty	hilarious	,	and	for	the	first	hour	,	it	is	,	as	reminiscing	over	the	maroon	tux	i	wore	to	my	cousin's	wedding	wins	out	over	the	drama	behind	the	non	stop	70's	jokes	.	but	after	that	,	the	film	takes	a	somber	,	almost	melodramatic	tone	,	and	it	ceases	poking	fun	and	starts	asking	questions	questions	which	,	ultimately	,	are	never	answered	to	any	degree	of	satisfaction	.	the	tragic	ending	is	expected	and	simply	doesn't	leave	you	at	peace	.	while	i'm	not	the	type	of	moviegoer	who	needs	everything	neatly	spelled	out	,	i	do	appreciate	some	sense	of	closure	.	in	the	end	,	this	film	is	an	enjoyable	one	,	but	it	may	be	a	little	too	hip	for	its	own	good	.
pos	david	cronenberg	presents	us	with	another	strange	tale	crawling	out	of	his	impressively	twisted	head	.	it	is	one	of	many	science	fiction	films	,	released	during	the	last	year	of	this	millenium	,	that	tackles	issues	that	will	play	an	important	role	in	our	future	.	the	story	unfolds	in	a	near	future	,	where	the	line	between	reality	and	virtual	reality	blurs	.	the	world	of	the	future	is	an	unfriendly	place	,	where	the	scared	inhabitants	are	"	hiding	"	in	virtual	reality	fantasy	games	to	escape	the	uncertainty	of	the	real	world	.	allegra	geller	(	jennifer	jason	leigh	)	,	the	leading	game	designer	in	the	world	,	is	testing	her	new	virtual	reality	game	,	existenz	with	a	focus	group	.	as	they	begin	,	she	is	attacked	by	a	fanatic	assassin	employing	a	bizarre	organic	gun	.	she	flees	with	a	young	marketing	trainee	,	ted	pikul	(	jude	law	)	,	who	is	suddenly	assigned	as	her	bodyguard	.	unfortunately	,	her	pod	,	an	organic	gaming	device	that	contains	the	only	copy	of	the	existenz	game	program	,	is	damaged	.	to	inspect	it	,	she	talks	ted	into	accepting	a	gameport	in	his	own	body	so	he	can	play	the	game	with	her	.	the	events	leading	up	to	this	,	and	the	resulting	game	lead	the	pair	on	a	strange	adventure	in	a	world	where	individuality	doesn't	exist	,	as	the	"	players	"	are	forced	to	perform	as	characters	in	an	unknown	plot	.	here	the	reality	and	their	actions	are	impossible	to	determine	from	either	their	own	or	the	game's	perspective	.	i	don't	intend	to	reveal	more	of	the	film's	premise	,	which	is	structured	as	a	computer	game	,	with	"	tasks	"	that	the	characters	must	complete	to	win	the	game	.	released	after	"	the	matrix	"	and	"	dark	city	"	,	"	existenz	"	has	some	similarities	and	parallels	that	connect	it	to	these	films	.	however	,	"	existenz	"	is	moving	in	a	different	direction	,	with	a	premise	of	its	own	.	a	combination	of	dazzling	special	effects	,	brilliantly	coordinated	action	sequences	and	an	intelligent	and	sophisticated	plot	,	made	"	the	matrix	"	a	rare	and	entertaining	science	fiction	experience	,	with	some	dark	and	frightening	ideas	hidden	under	its	sparkling	facade	.	"	existenz	"	has	a	completely	different	atmosphere	,	resembling	"	dark	city	"	,	which	is	darker	,	more	serious	and	less	entertaining	.	"	existenz	"	has	the	opportunities	and	potential	,	but	the	enormous	possibilities	are	never	quite	explored	.	after	the	engaging	beginning	,	it	starts	to	falter	.	while	i	was	watching	the	film	,	many	left	the	theatre	during	the	first	hour	.	and	indeed	,	"	existenz	"	seemed	as	a	complete	failure	:	the	actors	seemed	unreal	,	the	plot	and	dialogue	silly	,	unfinished	relationships	and	unexplained	events	followed	one	after	another	.	but	the	last	fifteen	minutes	lifted	the	film	on	a	complete	different	level	,	explaining	all	past	events	,	the	silly	dialogue	and	the	unreal	performances	within	a	few	scenes	.	and	jet	the	film	fails	on	several	issues	.	probably	the	best	written	character	in	the	story	is	a	game	designer	,	who	would	rather	spend	the	rest	of	her	life	in	a	virtual	world	,	than	face	real	life	.	this	is	a	great	possibility	to	create	a	magnificent	character	,	and	jennifer	jason	leigh	stretches	cronenberg's	script	to	the	limits	,	but	fails	because	the	advantages	of	virtual	reality	in	comparison	to	the	real	world	are	never	shown	.	existenz	is	not	a	world	of	which	you	might	dream	about	in	your	fantasies	.	it	is	not	a	world	worth	sacrificing	your	life	for	.	it's	a	cold	,	dark	place	where	the	"	players	"	are	forced	to	interrelate	with	unreal	characters	,	eat	mutated	creatures	and	even	murder	against	their	own	will	.	it	doesn't	look	like	a	place	worth	even	thinking	about	.	david	cronenberg	has	been	the	creator	of	"	the	fly	"	,	"	videodrome	"	and	"	the	dead	zone	"	,	so	it's	not	so	hard	to	guess	that	"	existenz	"	is	a	violent	and	gory	film	.	besides	the	regular	murders	of	innocent	people	,	the	audiences	can	enjoy	an	autopsy	of	a	two	headed	mutated	amfibium	.	scenes	like	that	have	become	a	trademark	for	cronenberg	and	it	seems	that	he	can't	make	a	film	without	flowing	blood	and	foul	creatures	.	the	way	i	see	it	,	this	is	the	film's	crucial	failure	.	it	is	impossible	for	cronenbergto	create	a	beautiful	world	where	time	,	space	and	problems	of	our	everyday	life	do	not	exist	;	a	place	of	blooming	blossoms	,	green	forests	and	clear	waters	;	a	place	really	worth	sacrificing	your	life	for	.	because	of	its	lack	of	three	dimensionality	,	the	film	looses	most	of	its	possibilities	,	but	stays	afloat	because	of	some	interesting	scenes	,	amusing	performances	(	especially	by	willem	dafoe	)	and	one	interesting	and	important	thought	,	depicted	in	many	different	ways	throughout	the	movie	.	during	the	film	,	the	audience	is	as	confused	as	the	characters	:	detached	from	their	everyday	existence	and	no	longer	able	to	see	the	difference	between	the	real	world	and	the	alternative	reality	that	they	have	created	.	"	the	matrix	"	,	despite	of	its	many	dark	and	disturbing	thoughts	,	ends	with	a	light	at	the	end	of	the	tunnel	.	"	existenz	"	does	not	.	it	is	a	one	time	experience	,	ending	in	blood	,	gore	and	madness	a	rather	frightening	forecast	for	tomorrow	.
pos	the	happy	bastard's	30	second	review	a	cute	romantic	comedy	from	the	writer	of	the	hit	comedy	four	weddings	and	a	funeral	,	notting	hill	stars	julia	roberts	as	anna	scott	,	a	very	popular	actress	with	a	15	million	asking	price	for	movies	.	one	day	she	wanders	into	a	travel	book	store	owned	by	a	simple	london	resident	(	played	by	hugh	grant	)	,	and	sparks	somehow	begin	to	fly	.	sure	,	there	are	points	of	turmoil	,	such	as	putting	up	with	grant's	slightly	disgusting	(	but	very	hilarious	)	roommate	spike	,	anna's	pesky	ex	boyfriend	(	alec	baldwin	in	a	humorous	cameo	)	,	and	,	on	top	of	all	that	,	those	damn	press	.	it's	a	fresh	sort	of	complexity	to	see	in	a	romantic	comedy	,	very	different	from	,	say	,	a	stubborn	father	or	"	not	the	right	time	"	like	as	seen	in	usual	flicks	.	roberts	is	terrific	as	the	astonishingly	beautiful	actress	,	and	grant	is	surprisingly	good	as	the	straightforward	guy	still	trying	to	get	a	hold	of	what	has	actually	happened	with	this	girl	.	in	short	,	a	sweet	romantic	comedy	that	has	a	lot	of	good	laughs	,	particularly	provided	by	spike	.	one	tee	shirt	really	says	it	all	about	him	.	in	an	attempt	to	turn	on	a	woman	,	he	shows	the	front	of	the	shirt	,	which	says	:	"	you	are	the	most	beautiful	woman	in	the	world	.	"	on	the	back	?	"	fancy	a	f	k	?	"
pos	every	year	around	this	time	,	or	during	the	christmas	season	,	the	walt	disney	studios	unleashes	one	of	its	treasures	on	the	general	public	.	the	motivations	behind	this	,	no	doubt	,	are	to	introduce	an	animated	classic	to	today's	younger	audience	,	an	audience	very	different	from	that	when	the	film	was	originally	released	.	last	year	,	audiences	were	treated	to	the	lady	and	the	tramp	.	this	year	,	it's	the	turn	of	peter	pan	,	a	somewhat	cruder	film	than	that	canine	love	story	,	but	one	which	manages	to	mix	enough	elements	to	keep	the	young	in	years	as	well	as	the	young	of	spirit	happily	entertained	even	after	they	leave	they	theater	.	based	on	james	m	.	barrie's	beloved	novel	,	peter	pan	is	a	familiar	coming	of	age	tale	to	most	people	,	made	all	the	more	so	by	the	recent	rebroadcast	of	the	1960s	television	special	starring	mary	martin	.	this	animated	version	is	probably	the	only	time	peter	pan	has	actually	been	"	played	"	by	a	boy	.	even	though	the	film	is	under	90	minutes	long	,	it	does	tend	to	get	a	little	draggy	towards	to	the	end	.	this	is	due	in	part	to	the	fact	that	,	about	two	thirds	of	the	way	through	,	the	film	peaks	,	only	to	peak	again	not	long	afterwards	.	captain	hook	battles	peter	pan	(	and	that	infernal	ticking	crocodile	)	and	it	wouldn't	be	giving	anything	away	to	say	that	the	good	guy	triumphs	.	they	could	have	ended	the	film	right	there	.	instead	,	hook	makes	off	with	wendy	which	sets	up	the	second	climax	.	it's	confusing	for	the	younger	set	and	repetitious	for	the	older	ones	.	one	cannot	easily	think	about	peter	pan	and	not	the	songs	which	accompany	it	.	for	example	"	i	won't	grow	up	"	and	"	never	smile	at	a	crocodile	.	"	in	this	animated	version	,	the	former	is	never	heard	and	the	latter	only	appears	in	an	instrumental	form	backing	the	toothy	protagonist's	occasional	appearances	.	it's	hard	not	to	notice	the	backgrounds	in	the	film	.	these	,	such	as	the	pirate	ship	,	skull	rock	and	scenes	of	london	,	are	exquisitely	detailed	.	the	characters	themselves	seem	somewhat	flat	in	comparison	,	often	lacking	in	detail	.	they	register	emotion	more	by	a	widening	of	the	eyes	than	any	kind	of	body	language	.	but	the	film	really	takes	off	when	it	shows	us	glimpses	of	these	children's	world	from	an	airborne	point	of	view	.	the	scene	where	the	children	fly	over	to	london	,	following	the	second	star	on	the	right	,	is	quite	breathtaking	,	much	like	those	imax	films	about	flight	they	show	at	the	national	air	and	space	museum	in	washington	.	and	shots	of	never	never	land	,	also	from	the	air	,	are	quite	magical	.	one	,	of	captain	hook	and	first	mate	smee	in	a	boat	with	captive	indian	tiger	lilly	,	is	so	beautifully	animated	that	the	water	looks	real	.	disney	has	always	been	able	to	convincingly	bring	water	to	life	in	all	his	movies	remember	the	storm	in	bambi	or	the	subterranean	sequences	in	pinocchio	?	if	you	can	ignore	some	of	the	film's	minor	flaws	,	you	should	have	a	ripe	old	time	at	the	movies	.	thirty	six	years	after	it	was	made	,	peter	pan	still	makes	for	a	wonderfully	colorful	entertainment	.	hr	produced	by	:	walt	disney	david	n	.	butterworth	university	of	pa	rating	(	l	.	maltin	)	:	internet	:	a	href	"	mailto	:	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	"	butterworth	a1	.	mscf	.	upenn	.	edu	a	hr
pos	i	can	already	feel	the	hate	letters	pouring	in	on	this	one	,	folks	.	i	loved	the	wedding	singer	.	but	it	gets	worse	.	if	i	so	much	as	mention	titanic	in	the	same	sentence	.	.	.	hell	,	same	paragraph	as	the	wedding	singer	,	i'm	bound	to	be	lynched	.	well	lynch	me	then	,	because	i	thought	adam	sandler	and	drew	barrymore	had	the	most	convincing	chemistry	in	recent	memory	,	with	titanic	as	the	only	exception	.	right	away	,	you're	ready	to	discount	my	review	,	aren't	you	?	you're	thinking	that	i	can't	possibly	know	what	i'm	talking	about	.	after	all	,	this	is	adam	sandler	right	?	?	?	well	,	there's	more	.	.	.	i	actually	got	choked	up	,	and	more	than	once	.	yes	,	the	man	who	brought	us	billy	madison	and	happy	gilmore	was	able	to	bring	sincere	tears	to	my	eyes	.	but	before	you	shrug	me	off	as	an	imbecile	,	i	urge	you	to	see	the	movie	and	see	for	yourself	.	the	wedding	singer	is	the	story	of	robby	hart	(	sandler	)	,	a	1985	rock	star	wannabe	whose	soul	achievement	in	life	has	been	performing	cover	tunes	at	wedding	receptions	for	the	past	five	years	or	so	.	but	when	his	own	wedding	results	in	a	no	show	for	the	bride	(	angela	featherstone	as	linda	)	,	robby	begins	to	re	examine	his	life	,	and	wonder	why	true	love	doesn't	exist	for	people	like	him	.	in	the	process	of	performing	at	these	receptions	,	robby	meets	a	waitress	named	julia	,	played	with	wholesome	sweetness	by	drew	barrymore	,	whose	reputation	is	anything	but	this	character	.	julia	too	is	engaged	,	and	when	robby	finds	himself	without	a	wife	,	his	free	time	allows	him	to	help	her	plan	her	own	wedding	,	seeing	as	how	her	fiance	,	the	"	miami	vice	"	loving	glenn	(	matthew	glave	)	,	doesn't	seem	all	that	interested	.	as	the	time	goes	by	,	we	learn	the	reason	glenn	is	do	dispassionate	about	the	wedding	he's	merely	marrying	julia	to	prevent	a	breakup	,	something	he	wants	to	avoid	even	if	he	does	sleep	around	with	tons	of	other	women	.	it's	obvious	that	robby	is	going	to	fall	for	julia	and	feel	a	strong	need	to	rescue	her	,	but	what	is	a	lighthearted	romantic	comedy	for	?	this	isn't	sleepless	in	seattle	,	but	i'd	actually	compare	it	to	that	before	i'd	compare	it	to	happy	gilmore	.	while	the	wedding	singer	maintains	some	of	that	post	snl	cornball	humor	,	its	sincerity	and	charm	carry	it	a	very	,	very	long	way	.	sandler	is	great	in	his	role	,	and	yes	,	if	you	allow	it	,	you	can	take	him	seriously	.	barrymore	seems	perfect	along	side	him	,	and	although	the	two	more	likely	represent	gen	x	moronism	and	party	girl	ditzism	(	respectively	)	,	the	two	go	together	like	bread	and	butter	as	a	mid	eighties	couple	.	one	scene	in	particular	,	where	julia	ponders	the	future	in	a	mirror	,	is	so	well	done	,	i	was	on	the	verge	of	tears	.	unfortunately	,	sandler	is	going	to	make	a	lot	of	people	shrug	this	one	off	as	a	no	brainer	,	but	it's	got	so	much	surprise	substance	packed	inside	that	i'm	encouraging	everyone	to	go	see	it	.	in	fact	,	the	entire	theater	applauded	when	the	film	ended	,	and	laughs	were	so	consistent	,	some	jokes	were	probably	missed	due	to	the	uproar	.	the	1985	setting	was	milked	for	everything	it	was	worth	,	and	for	those	of	us	that	are	old	enough	to	remember	it	,	it	was	a	bodacious	trip	back	(	and	done	very	well	)	.	sandler	shows	a	new	side	to	himself	while	maintaining	all	his	original	charm	(	or	is	it	anti	charm	?	)	.	while	the	wedding	singer	only	deserves	three	stars	due	to	artistic	merit	,	grading	it	on	pure	enjoyability	would	give	this	one	four	stars	.	it's	hilarious	,	and	it's	touching	.	it's	got	that	great	cheezy	humor	,	but	it	also	takes	sandler	to	a	higher	level	than	anyone	expected	.	this	is	one	to	see	again	and	again	.	is	it	possible	the	wedding	singer	could	be	one	of	the	sweetest	romantic	comedies	of	1998	?	my	"	magic	8	ball	"	predicts	it	is	certain	.
pos	chad'z	rating	:	(	out	of	4	excellent	)	1939	,	g	,	222	minutes	3	hours	,	42	minutes	starring	:	viven	leigh	(	katherine	scarlett	o'hara	hamilton	kennedy	butler	)	,	clark	gable	(	captain	rhett	butler	)	,	olivia	de	havilland	(	melanie	wilkes	)	,	leslie	howard	(	ashley	wilkes	)	;	written	by	sidney	howard	;	produced	by	david	o	.	selznik	;	directed	by	victor	fleming	;	based	on	the	novel	by	margaret	mitchell	.	seen	july	8	,	1998	at	the	crossgates	cinema	18	,	(	albany	,	ny	)	,	theater	7	,	at	8	:	15	p	.	m	.	with	my	mom	using	hoyts	cinema	cash	.	theater	rating	:	1	2	:	very	good	sound	,	picture	,	and	seats
pos	review	by	lars	lindahl	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	larsattacks	mail	.	com	"	larsattacks	mail	.	com	a	)	starring	dennis	quaid	,	jim	caviezel	,	elizabeth	mitchell	,	andre	braugher	,	and	noah	emmerich	.	frequency	n	.	,	the	number	of	times	a	specified	phenomenon	occurs	within	a	specified	interval	as	the	number	of	repetitions	of	a	complete	sequence	of	values	of	a	periodic	function	per	unit	variation	of	an	independent	variableetc	don't	worry	.	when	watching	the	thriller	frequency	,	you	won't	have	to	know	what	the	heck	frequency	means	.	the	premise	,	although	it	may	sound	complex	,	is	very	basic	on	the	big	screen	.	a	new	york	cop	,	john	,	(	jim	caviezel	)	finds	a	radio	in	his	house	,	which	allows	him	to	communicate	with	his	new	york	firefighter	father	,	frank	,	(	dennis	quaid	)	who	died	thirty	years	ago	.	immediately	john	warns	his	father	that	he	will	die	trying	to	stop	a	fire	in	an	abandoned	warehouse	.	when	frank	takes	his	advice	and	survives	the	accident	he	wasn't	supposed	to	,	the	two	eventually	realize	that	by	changing	that	one	moment	in	the	past	,	they	have	created	a	whole	new	future	in	which	a	serial	killer	murders	john's	mother	and	nine	other	women	.	it	is	now	up	to	john	and	frank	to	use	their	special	connection	and	save	thirty	years	ago	to	make	present	time	a	better	place	.	(	i	told	you	that	wasn't	confusing	)	.	overall	,	i	was	very	pleased	with	frequency	.	it's	occasional	sappy	moments	perfectly	synchronized	with	its	suspenseful	serial	killer	scenes	.	i	usually	don't	buy	those	cheesy	"	i	love	you	dad	"	segments	in	movies	,	but	this	one	surprisingly	satisfied	me	.	maybe	because	the	plot	is	so	creative	and	universal	that	i	believed	that	this	is	how	most	people	would	act	when	talking	to	a	dead	relative	.	frequency's	creepy	premise	left	me	thinking	once	the	film	ended	,	what	if	?	what	would	i	do	?	would	i	help	my	own	family	or	save	a	historical	figure	from	being	assasinated	?	or	stop	some	kids	from	shooting	other	kids	?	or	buy	stock	from	yahoo	!	?	(	a	character	in	the	film	does	the	latter	with	humorous	consequences	)	.	frequency	also	reminded	me	of	the	fantastic	back	to	the	future	.	both	share	that	"	change	the	past	slightly	,	and	you'll	change	the	future	heavily	"	warning	.	the	changes	between	the	present	and	the	past	,	such	as	different	newspaper	headlines	or	people	disappearing	and	reappearing	in	photographs	,	are	very	similar	.	both	are	also	wonderful	feel	good	family	films	that	can	attract	to	a	number	of	generations	.	the	only	difference	worth	noting	is	that	frequency's	final	scene	doesn't	set	up	a	possibility	for	a	lucrative	sequel	already	in	the	making	.	there	are	some	problems	with	the	film	though	.	first	,	there	is	a	major	flaw	in	the	story	towards	the	end	that	is	somewhat	distracting	(	email	me	if	you	have	seen	the	movie	and	want	to	know	what	i	think	it	is	)	.	the	plot	must	have	confused	even	the	filmmakers	who	frequently	(	no	pun	intended	)	switch	from	1969	to	1999	while	telling	the	story	.	another	problem	is	that	the	supporting	cast	,	including	noah	emmerich	and	andre	braugher	,	are	underused	.	while	in	the	film	,	which	is	not	enough	,	the	aforementioned	actors	steal	every	scene	they	are	in	.	frequency	was	a	pleasant	surprise	for	me	and	the	audience	i	saw	it	with	who	cheered	at	the	end	.	even	if	you	know	what	is	going	to	happen	or	if	you	think	the	preview	ruined	the	movie	for	you	,	like	it	almost	did	for	me	,	check	this	movie	out	.	you	may	be	surprised	as	well	.
pos	directed	by	:	danny	boyle	produced	by	:	channel	four	films	(	aka	film	four	international	)	figment	films	polygram	the	noel	gay	motion	picture	company	runtime	:	about	93	minutes	cast	:	ewan	mcgregor	(	mark	renton	)	,	ewen	bremner	(	spud	murphy	)	,	jonny	lee	miller	(	sick	boy	)	,	kevin	mckidd	(	tommy	)	rating	:	1	2	out	of	whew	.	this	film	oozes	energy	,	the	kind	of	breakneck	,	no	holds	barred	,	in	your	face	risk	taking	filmmaking	that	is	seldom	seen	on	screen	these	days	.	like	the	marginal	,	motley	bunch	of	post	apocalyptic	youths	director	danny	boyle	tries	to	depict	,	trainspotting	veers	on	the	edge	of	utter	mayhem	but	ultimately	retains	its	footing	and	control	.	the	result	:	a	movie	that	is	a	delightful	example	of	how	the	medium	is	the	message	.	the	message	:	a	bunch	of	losers	with	loser	names	,	mark	renton	(	ewan	mcgregor	)	,	spud	(	ewan	bremner	)	,	sick	boy	(	jonny	lee	miller	)	,	tommy	(	kevin	mckidd	)	,	and	begbie	(	robert	carlyle	)	.	bored	,	aimless	and	restless	,	their	routine	consists	of	getting	drunk	at	the	local	pub	,	grooving	to	techno	or	glam	rock	at	the	local	disco	and	getting	shots	up	the	arm	at	the	local	den	and	procuring	cash	through	a	variety	of	methods	,	some	ingenious	,	others	plainly	dumb	and	desperate	.	not	part	of	the	daily	dose	if	obtained	,	sex	is	a	bonus	.	you	can	find	these	characters	as	they	are	,	foul	mouthed	,	dirty	,	pathetic	,	ugly	perhaps	but	definitely	interesting	,	in	irvin	welsh's	cult	novel	of	the	same	name	.	what	makes	the	film	a	completely	different	experience	is	how	director	boyle	uses	every	tool	at	his	disposal	to	make	the	filmic	medium	synchronous	with	the	message	.	one	of	the	first	things	you'll	notice	is	how	the	camera	seems	to	dart	around	restlessly	.	it'll	truck	into	a	character's	pimple	,	just	as	soon	as	it	will	dolly	out	to	an	establishing	shot	.	distracted	and	curious	,	it'll	maintain	a	character's	eye	level	or	drop	right	to	the	ground	to	show	the	doped	out	eye	view	.	you'll	even	find	characters	peering	into	the	camera	,	their	faces	smeared	across	the	wide	angle	lens	.	this	film	camera	is	just	another	one	of	the	guys	.	tiptoeing	that	indistinguishable	line	between	fantasy	and	reality	,	boyle	employs	a	healthy	dose	of	surrealism	to	get	the	message	across	.	bored	kids	daydream	and	bored	kids	deprived	of	a	heroin	fix	have	nightmares	.	i	don't	want	to	give	too	much	away	,	but	if	you	cross	chuckie	from	child's	play	with	some	of	the	wacky	fantasies	in	heavenly	creatures	,	you	might	have	an	idea	just	how	fun	or	pants	wetting	scary	the	alternate	state	of	consciouness	can	be	.	that	said	,	this	film	has	a	good	share	of	drugs	consumed	,	vomitted	,	defecated	,	pissed	off	,	exchanged	,	bought	,	sold	,	injected	,	smuggled	,	enjoyed	and	regretted	.	if	that	isn't	your	cup	of	tea	,	nobody	forced	you	to	see	the	film	.	stay	at	home	and	rent	up	close	and	personal	.	and	what's	a	buzz	without	tunes	.	from	pulp	to	iggy	pop	(	yes	,	he's	still	alive	)	,	the	aural	landscape	is	as	engaging	as	the	visual	energy	permeating	the	film	.	good	and	bad	vibrations	tangle	like	the	conflicting	desires	and	values	of	the	message	.	every	once	in	a	while	,	a	film	comes	along	with	the	kind	of	energetic	filmmaking	that	matches	the	intensity	of	its	characters	it	hopes	to	depict	.	trainspotting	is	that	shooting	star	that	burns	across	a	sky	littered	with	static	constellations	.	dom	is	a	part	time	filmmaker	who	graduated	from	northwestern	university's	radio	tv	film	programme	not	too	long	ago	.	he	has	laboured	on	various	music	videos	and	short	films	in	and	around	campus	and	chicago	.	nowhere	town	,	a	26min	short	film	that	he	shot	,	co	directed	and	co	produced	recently	scooped	up	the	grand	jury	prize	at	the	charleston	international	film	festival	for	best	student	production	.	he	is	currently	finishing	a	couple	of	small	projects	.	with	his	minute	amounts	of	leisure	time	,	dom	does	nell	impersonations	.	hr	this	movie	review	was	written	for	the	flying	inkpot	:	an	arts	and	entertainment	magazine	from	singapore	.	for	reviews	of	the	latest	films	,	concerts	,	album	releases	,	books	and	plays	in	singapore	,	swing	by	a	href	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	"	http	:	webvisions	.	com	inkpot	a	and	click	on	mildred's	head	.	hr
pos	after	the	simple	looking	little	spacecraft	lands	in	a	automobile	wrecking	yard	,	out	steps	a	steel	gray	,	human	like	creature	with	aquamarine	eyes	and	clad	in	a	muscular	suit	.	spencer	,	the	boy	who	observes	this	,	having	seen	his	fill	of	science	fiction	flicks	,	figures	this	thing	must	be	a	robot	from	outer	space	.	with	the	exception	of	disney	and	a	few	others	,	most	studios	view	children's	films	as	a	way	to	ship	a	cheap	and	unimaginative	product	and	thereby	make	a	quick	profit	.	star	kid	stands	out	as	that	rare	kids'	film	that	is	undoubtedly	low	budget	but	is	also	highly	imaginative	.	remember	,	the	robot	?	it	wasn't	one	at	all	but	rather	a	"	phase	one	assault	cyborsuit	.	"	the	cyborsuit	is	actually	a	prototype	combat	enhancer	developed	by	the	trelkins	and	jettisoned	for	latter	retrieval	when	they	are	under	attack	from	the	invading	broodwarriors	.	the	significant	twist	in	the	story	is	that	spencer	gets	to	go	inside	the	cyborsuit	,	and	the	cyborsuit	,	nicknamed	cy	,	has	plenty	of	spunk	.	cy	keeps	questioning	the	kid	about	everything	including	words	like	"	cool	.	"	upon	hearing	that	"	command	,	"	cy	starts	rapidly	decreasing	the	temperature	in	the	cyborsuit	until	spencer	screams	for	him	to	stop	.	and	when	cy	speaks	,	we	see	spencer's	view	,	the	backside	of	cy's	lips	and	eyes	.	as	12	year	old	spencer	,	joseph	mazzello	from	the	jurassic	park	film	series	gives	a	remarkably	good	performance	as	a	wimpy	and	initially	tongue	tied	kid	.	even	when	enclosed	in	his	powerful	new	cyborsuit	,	he	has	his	fears	but	he	learns	to	overcome	them	.	"	if	you	run	away	,	things	don't	get	better	,	whether	it's	bullies	,	spiders	,	or	girls	,	"	his	science	teacher	advises	him	after	he	has	difficulties	dealing	with	all	three	.	turbo	(	joey	simmrin	)	,	the	school's	chubby	bully	,	beats	up	on	him	,	spiders	frighten	him	,	and	,	most	embarrassing	of	all	,	he	can't	speak	when	in	the	presence	of	his	would	be	girlfriend	.	with	his	cyborsuit	on	,	he	learns	some	bravery	that	transcends	his	time	inside	cy	.	spencer	lives	with	his	dad	and	his	older	teenage	sister	stacey	,	played	by	a	smart	mouthed	ashlee	levitch	,	who	looks	like	a	younger	sarah	jessica	parker	.	stacey	derides	her	brother	,	whom	she	barely	tolerates	,	by	referring	to	him	only	as	"	the	fungus	.	"	this	whole	setup	for	spencer's	downtrodden	and	delightfully	funny	life	makes	his	acquisition	of	some	superhuman	powers	a	source	of	mirth	and	empowerment	.	the	beauty	of	mazzello's	performance	is	that	you	can	vicariously	experience	his	fear	and	share	in	his	enjoyment	when	he	goes	after	the	bully	to	teach	him	a	lesson	he'll	not	soon	forget	.	the	ensuing	mayhem	has	some	of	the	home	alone	antics	,	but	the	slapstick	is	kept	tightly	under	control	by	writer	and	director	manny	coto	so	that	one	never	feels	embarrassed	to	be	laughing	.	the	romantic	angle	is	handled	ever	so	delicately	.	when	cy	wishes	to	know	if	spencer	wants	to	mate	with	the	object	of	his	desire	,	michelle	(	lauren	eckstrom	)	,	his	eyes	open	wide	in	revulsion	.	"	mate	with	her	!	"	spencer	exclaims	.	"	pllllleeeeease	,	i	just	like	her	that's	all	.	"	the	show	has	many	funny	twists	.	in	one	,	cy	sees	a	man	in	a	barney	like	costume	and	begins	firing	at	him	,	thinking	he	is	an	alien	life	form	.	soon	things	get	way	out	of	hand	,	and	cy	and	spencer	have	to	beat	a	hasty	retreat	.	as	proof	positive	of	the	show's	class	,	it	actually	contains	tasteful	bathroom	humor	thought	that	was	an	oxymoron	in	a	kids'	picture	,	didn't	you	?	cy	cannot	allow	spencer	to	leave	the	cyborsuit	,	and	what	happens	when	he	needs	to	urinate	becomes	both	sweet	and	hilarious	.	the	director's	staging	of	this	sequence	is	one	of	the	film's	more	charming	moments	.	oh	,	and	eating	is	pretty	funny	too	.	spencer	,	whose	idol	is	the	comic	book	character	"	midknight	warrior	,	"	gets	to	face	the	challenge	of	a	lifetime	when	a	broodwarrior	comes	to	capture	the	cyborsuit	.	spencer's	valiant	battle	gives	him	a	chance	to	find	his	mettle	.	and	the	action	sequences	in	the	battle	manage	to	be	quite	respectable	for	a	kids'	show	full	of	inventiveness	and	lacking	the	usual	repetition	.	for	a	family	movie	mixing	humor	,	fantasy	,	and	action	,	star	kid	delivers	.	although	it's	probably	not	the	sort	of	movie	you'd	want	to	see	without	kids	,	with	them	you'll	have	a	magical	time	with	a	relatively	straightforward	but	well	developed	story	.	you'll	be	rooting	for	and	laughing	with	spencer	and	his	buddy	cy	all	the	way	through	.	star	kid	runs	1	:	41	.	it	is	rated	pg	for	fantasy	combat	.	although	the	basically	cartoonish	broodwarrior	might	scare	the	littlest	kids	,	i	saw	none	of	this	in	evidence	in	our	packed	screening	,	so	i	would	say	the	show	is	fine	for	kids	five	and	up	,	and	possibly	the	younger	ones	.	my	son	jeffrey	,	age	8	,	got	really	excited	about	the	picture	.	he	called	it	"	an	especially	good	movie	"	and	gave	it	.	when	i	asked	him	to	tell	me	his	favorite	characters	,	he	mentioned	almost	everyone	in	it	from	the	boy	to	the	cyborsuit	to	the	bully	.
pos	(	miramax	1996	)	starring	william	baldwin	,	angela	jones	,	bruce	ramsay	,	mel	gorham	,	lois	chiles	,	daisy	fuentes	,	barry	corbin	screenplay	by	john	maass	reb	braddock	produced	by	john	maass	and	raul	puig	directed	by	reb	braddock	running	time	:	94	minutes	curdled	is	a	deliciously	dark	and	witty	black	comedy	,	but	its	humour	won't	appeal	to	everyone	.	to	be	specific	,	let	me	give	you	an	example	.	do	you	know	in	pulp	fiction	where	jules	and	vincent	go	on	brain	detail	after	marvin	and	his	head	accidentally	get	separated	?	if	you	thought	that	was	completely	tasteless	and	unfunny	,	don't	see	curdled	.	on	the	other	hand	,	if	you	found	that	sequence	to	be	pretty	funny	,	you	have	the	sense	of	humour	that	curdled	is	aimed	at	.	our	film's	heroine	,	gabriela	,	played	by	angela	jones	,	is	a	woman	obssessively	curious	about	murder	and	serial	killers	;	she	even	keeps	a	scrapbook	of	news	articles	.	luckily	for	her	,	miami	is	being	plagued	by	a	serial	killer	rampage	her	scrapbook	is	getting	pretty	big	.	the	killer's	nickname	in	the	press	is	the	blue	blood	killer	,	because	he	preys	on	older	rich	socialite	women	,	and	he's	played	by	william	baldwin	(	this	is	not	a	spoiler	)	.	one	particularly	striking	m	.	o	.	on	the	blue	blood	killer	is	his	propensity	to	decapitate	his	victims	.	gabriela	is	watching	television	one	day	when	she	spots	an	advertisement	for	a	firm	whose	line	of	work	is	perfectly	attuned	to	her	interests	.	she	immediately	quits	her	job	,	and	signs	on	with	pfcs	,	which	stands	for	post	forensic	cleaning	service	.	no	points	for	guessing	what	they	do	.	her	workmates	are	confused	by	gabriela's	fascination	with	murder	;	to	them	,	it's	just	a	day	job	.	there's	a	hilarious	locker	room	scene	where	they	debate	whether	decapitated	heads	can	talk	,	and	what	they	would	say	.	gabriela's	partner	,	elena	,	played	by	mel	gorham	,	is	particularly	perturbed	by	gabriela's	wide	eyed	fascination	,	and	becomes	really	upset	when	gabriela	volunteers	them	to	clean	up	the	blue	blood	killer's	latest	scene	they're	the	messiest	,	you	see	.	unbeknownst	to	them	,	the	last	victim	left	something	on	the	scene	which	would	id	the	blue	blood	killer	,	so	he's	also	heading	over	there	.	.	the	comparison	to	pulp	fiction	earlier	on	was	not	accidental	quentin	tarantino	executive	produced	this	film	,	which	began	life	as	a	short	film	he	saw	at	a	film	festival	.	apparently	tarantino	was	so	impressed	that	he	helped	braddock	convert	this	into	a	feature	length	film	.	there	are	other	parallels	the	star	of	curdled	is	angela	jones	(	the	top	billing	goes	to	william	baldwin	,	but	really	,	jones	is	the	central	character	)	,	who's	probably	best	known	for	her	role	as	esmerelda	villalobos	,	the	death	obssessed	taxi	driver	in	pulp	fiction	.	that	role	was	written	specifically	for	jones	based	upon	her	similar	character	in	the	aforementioned	short	film	,	curdled	jr	.	jones	is	great	in	curdled	she's	wonderfully	funny	and	maintains	an	amusing	wide	eyed	naive	curiousity	about	murder	without	compromising	her	character's	innocence	or	likeability	.	she	can	express	so	much	with	one	lift	of	her	eyebrow	.	it's	a	great	performance	.	reb	braddock's	direction	is	extremely	sharp	and	clever	,	toeing	the	line	between	black	humour	and	bad	taste	.	the	best	scene	in	the	film	is	an	outrageously	funny	sequence	involves	jones	and	dancing	any	more	than	that	would	be	a	spoiler	.	the	opening	credit	sequence	is	also	inventive	and	amusing	.	of	course	,	it's	impossible	to	really	take	this	stuff	seriously	,	but	then	again	you're	not	really	supposed	to	braddock	knows	the	audience	is	in	on	the	joke	,	and	makes	it	a	fun	little	romp	as	a	result	.	the	one	drawback	of	curdled	is	that	it	was	based	on	a	short	film	,	and	it	feels	like	it	;	the	material	is	just	stretched	too	thin	in	order	to	fulfill	a	feature	length	running	time	,	and	some	parts	just	seem	to	drag	.	while	its	running	time	is	already	a	short	94	minutes	,	it	could	really	stand	to	lose	twenty	minutes	or	so	to	give	it	better	pacing	.	curdled	seems	destined	to	be	a	nice	cult	film	for	miramax	.	it'll	be	interesting	to	see	if	it	will	appeal	to	mainstream	audiences	as	well	.
pos	starring	warren	beatty	,	halle	berry	and	oliver	platt	directed	by	warren	beatty	running	time	:	1	hour	40	minutes	.	warren	beatty	returns	to	the	screens	in	the	funniest	,	craziest	and	hard	hitting	movie	in	his	career	.	based	on	a	story	concocted	by	himself	,	and	also	written	by	beatty	,	bulworth	gives	a	good	insight	of	what	beatty	thinks	of	the	american	government	system	.	beatty	stars	as	senator	jay	bulworth	,	who's	going	through	a	nervous	breakdown	.	after	hiring	someone	to	kill	him	,	he	completely	changes	his	campaign	strategy	and	tells	the	honest	truth	about	what's	_	really	_	happening	in	american	politics	,	much	to	the	annoyance	of	assistant	dennis	murphy	(	platt	.	)	instead	of	everyone	hating	him	,	the	american	public	love	him	.	however	,	inside	his	party	,	more	people	want	to	kill	him	than	just	the	hired	assassin	.	and	he	also	strikes	a	relationship	with	black	girl	nina	(	berry	.	)	it's	remarkable	that	this	film	was	released	at	all	.	much	more	open	than	the	rather	subdued	primary	colours	,	bulworth	barely	gives	the	american	politic	system	a	good	name	.	the	outrageous	remarks	bulworth	makes	to	his	potential	voters	are	very	funny	,	and	also	somewhat	true	.	it's	great	that	beatty	isn't	afraid	to	let	loose	on	a	subject	.	talking	of	beatty	,	he's	excellent	in	the	role	of	the	demented	senator	,	clearing	having	fun	.	and	seeing	warren	beatty	have	fun	is	a	rare	sight	indeed	.	even	in	dick	tracy	,	he	was	the	most	straighten	face	actor	.	(	then	again	,	he	was	the	only	characters	face	we	could	completely	see	.	)	the	film	gives	an	opportunity	for	the	61	year	old	beatty	to	indulge	in	some	rapping	,	which	he	does	with	gusto	(	and	also	quite	well	.	)	and	seeing	beatty	as	a	'homeboy'	has	to	be	seen	to	be	believed	.	it's	nice	to	see	that	beatty	can	laugh	at	himself	.	second	best	is	oliver	platt	as	the	flustered	,	coke	snorting	assistant	,	who	goes	over	the	top	when	he	finally	snaps	.	halle	berry	is	fine	,	and	sexy	,	as	the	intellectual	nina	,	who	comes	to	like	the	senator	.	also	popping	up	in	the	supporting	cast	is	paul	sorvino	wit	h	a	strange	accent	,	laurie	metcalf	as	the	exact	same	characters	she's	also	played	,	and	christine	baranski	of	cybill	fame	as	bullworths	wife	,	who	all	contribute	to	the	fun	.	and	,	this	being	a	political	film	,	the	ubiquitous	larry	king	makes	an	appearance	,	as	,	shock	,	himself	.	the	writing	and	directing	,	both	by	beatty	,	are	above	par	.	the	direction	is	very	nearly	sitcom	like	,	but	suits	the	film	perfectly	,	and	both	the	politics	are	gangland	parts	are	handled	well	.	the	script	is	funny	,	and	the	raps	are	actually	well	produced	and	humorous	,	and	quite	clever	.	they're	not	cringe	inducing	,	at	least	.	the	script	makes	many	points	about	society	in	america	today	,	and	isn't	afraid	to	make	any	bold	statements	about	what	is	a	flawed	system	.	best	of	all	,	the	film	is	thought	provoking	,	but	directed	and	written	in	such	a	way	that	the	film	feels	as	light	as	a	feather	,	and	is	very	entertaining	.	there's	also	a	great	rap	soundtrack	with	some	well	chosen	tunes	.	bulworth	is	a	film	with	many	advantages	,	and	few	flaws	.	perhaps	it	could	be	somewhat	embarrassing	to	see	a	61	year	old	man	rapping	,	but	beatty	does	it	so	well	it's	irrelevant	.	in	fact	,	there's	very	little	against	bulworth	,	except	for	the	language	which	is	very	heavy	,	but	then	again	it	should	be	expected	.	bulworth	,	then	,	is	well	worth	watching	.
pos	shrek	(	2001	)	mike	myers	,	eddie	murphy	,	cameron	diaz	,	john	lithgow	,	vincent	cassel	.	screenplay	by	ted	elliott	,	terry	rossio	,	joe	stillman	,	roger	s	.	h	.	schulman	,	based	on	the	book	by	william	steig	.	directed	by	andrew	adamson	,	vicky	jenson	.	89	minutes	.	rated	pg	,	4	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	net	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	reviews	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	the	computer	animated	comedy	"	shrek	"	is	designed	to	be	enjoyed	on	different	levels	by	different	groups	.	for	children	,	it	offers	imaginative	visuals	,	appealing	new	characters	mixed	with	a	host	of	familiar	faces	,	loads	of	action	and	a	barrage	of	big	laughs	(	including	numerous	gags	related	to	body	functions	and	yucky	substances	,	apparently	a	requisite	in	contemporary	family	films	)	.	for	adults	,	it's	a	fractured	fairy	tale	packed	with	rude	jokes	that	will	sail	over	the	heads	of	the	kids	.	all	in	all	,	"	shrek	"	is	a	snappy	ride	,	although	there	are	a	couple	of	points	i	found	disturbing	.	but	first	the	basics	.	based	very	loosely	on	a	1990	children's	story	,	"	shrek	"	follows	several	momentous	days	in	the	life	of	the	title	character	,	a	rotund	green	ogre	voiced	by	mike	myers	in	that	pleasant	scottish	accent	he	is	so	fond	of	using	.	shrek	is	a	grumpy	fellow	living	a	solitary	life	deep	in	the	swamp	,	until	a	local	nobleman	disturbs	his	peace	.	petty	tyrant	lord	farquaad	(	take	away	the	"	awk	"	in	the	middle	and	you	have	the	basis	of	a	string	of	impolite	one	liners	)	owns	the	land	on	which	shrek	resides	.	he	proceeds	to	turn	the	ogre's	yard	into	an	ellis	island	for	storybook	characters	when	he	banishes	the	fanciful	beings	from	his	castle	.	as	a	result	,	shrek	finds	himself	surrounded	by	legends	like	the	three	blind	mice	,	pinocchio	,	the	big	bad	wolf	,	the	seven	dwarfs	,	and	the	three	bears	,	to	name	but	a	few	.	an	enraged	shrek	storms	to	the	castle	,	only	to	find	farquaad	(	john	lithgow	)	ready	to	bargain	.	lord	obnoxious	wants	to	become	king	and	the	magic	mirror	from	"	snow	white	"	has	shown	him	the	way	.	all	he	has	to	do	is	rescue	a	damsel	in	distress	and	make	her	his	wife	.	the	mirror	unveils	three	choices	in	a	presentation	straight	out	of	"	the	dating	game	"	(	when	snow	white	is	shown	,	the	cheeky	announcer	purrs	,	"	even	though	she	lives	with	seven	men	,	she's	not	easy	!	"	)	farquaad	selects	the	lovely	princess	fiona	(	cameron	diaz	)	and	offers	shrek	a	deal	:	if	the	ogre	snatches	fiona	from	the	dragon	protected	,	lava	moat	filled	castle	in	which	she	is	held	captive	and	brings	her	to	the	throne	,	the	lord	will	allow	the	fairy	tale	pests	to	move	back	on	his	grounds	.	shrek	reluctantly	agrees	and	sets	off	on	his	quest	,	accompanied	by	a	motor	mouthed	donkey	(	eddie	murphy	)	determined	to	make	the	green	grump	his	best	friend	.	they	finally	hook	up	with	the	princess	,	only	to	learn	she	is	not	the	helpless	maiden	they	expected	to	meet	.	for	the	matter	,	the	dragon	offers	a	few	surprises	as	well	.	the	movie	references	a	great	many	other	flicks	,	from	"	babe	"	(	"	that'll	do	,	donkey	.	that'll	do	"	)	to	"	the	graduate	.	"	but	the	lion's	share	of	the	jokes	come	at	the	expense	of	the	wonderful	world	of	disney	.	the	public	domain	characters	made	into	icons	in	various	disney	films	take	their	hits	pinocchio	is	referred	to	as	a	"	possessed	toy	"	and	when	shrek	spies	a	sleeping	snow	white	in	his	cabin	,	he	bellows	,	"	get	that	dead	broad	off	the	table	!	"	but	the	biggest	slams	come	when	shrek	visits	farquaad's	royal	domicile	,	which	closely	resembles	a	certain	magic	kingdom	,	from	its	souvenir	stands	and	queue	lines	to	a	display	of	animatronic	figures	that	sing	the	palace	rules	in	a	relentlessly	peppy	tune	that	sounds	a	lot	like	"	it's	a	small	world	.	"	which	brings	me	to	disturbing	point	number	one	.	i	laughed	at	all	the	disney	swipes	,	but	found	the	mentality	behind	them	a	bit	sad	.	the	acrimony	between	dreamworks	honcho	jeff	katzenberg	and	disney	big	wheel	michael	eisner	is	well	known	.	for	years	the	two	companies	have	tried	to	sabotage	each	other's	film	and	video	releases	by	issuing	similar	competing	productions	on	the	same	day	.	and	now	we	have	katzenberg	using	an	entire	movie	to	attack	his	former	employer	.	here's	a	suggestion	for	the	two	boys	:	grow	up	!	put	the	past	behind	you	!	there's	room	in	the	sandbox	for	both	of	you	and	if	you	farquaads	can't	play	nice	,	then	go	to	your	rooms	!	the	other	area	i	found	troubling	came	in	the	portrayal	of	lord	farquaad	.	beyond	all	the	irreverence	,	"	shrek	"	actually	has	a	message	:	people	should	learn	to	look	beyond	physical	appearances	,	because	true	beauty	lies	within	.	it's	a	lovely	notion	,	but	the	film	betrays	its	own	moral	by	incessantly	taking	cheap	shots	at	farquaad's	diminutive	stature	.	do	we	really	need	a	family	film	reinforcing	the	idea	that	mocking	short	people	is	acceptable	?	the	pompous	,	selfish	behavior	of	farquaad	is	enough	to	make	him	a	target	for	zingers	.	adding	short	jokes	is	simply	mean	.	still	,	"	shrek	"	is	a	rollicking	good	time	.	the	computer	animation	is	mostly	impressive	(	although	several	key	characters	look	like	animated	rubber	squeeze	toys	and	the	human	movements	are	often	jerky	)	,	the	voice	work	is	strong	(	particularly	from	eddie	murphy	)	,	the	laughs	come	fast	and	furious	,	and	the	moral	,	tainted	though	it	may	be	,	is	a	good	one	.	to	trot	out	a	clich	,	"	shrek	"	is	fun	for	all	ages	.	parents	,	though	,	should	remind	their	young	ones	during	the	ride	home	that	taunting	others	because	they	are	short	,	tall	,	skinny	,	fat	,	etc	.	is	a	bad	thing	.
pos	the	tailor	of	panama	(	2001	)	pierce	brosnan	,	geoffrey	rush	,	leonor	varela	,	jamie	lee	curtis	,	brendan	gleeson	,	harold	pinter	,	catherine	mccormack	.	screenplay	by	andrew	davies	,	john	le	carr	and	john	boorman	,	based	on	the	novel	by	john	le	carr	.	directed	by	john	boorman	.	109	minutes	.	rated	r	,	4	stars	(	out	of	five	stars	)	review	by	ed	johnson	ott	,	nuvo	newsweekly	www	.	nuvo	.	com	archive	reviews	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	reviewsby	?	edward	johnson	ott	a	to	receive	reviews	by	e	mail	at	no	charge	,	send	subscription	requests	to	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	"	ejohnsonott	prodigy	.	net	a	or	e	mail	a	href	"	mailto	:	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	"	ejohnsonott	subscribe	onelist	.	com	a	with	the	word	"	subscribe	"	in	the	subject	line	.	"	the	tailor	of	panama	"	is	a	different	kind	of	spy	movie	.	despite	the	presence	of	pierce	brosnan	,	there	is	nary	a	hint	of	james	bond	flash	here	.	instead	of	big	action	scenes	,	leering	super	villains	and	empty	headed	femme	fatales	,	we	get	interesting	characters	and	an	intriguing	situation	.	based	on	the	novel	by	john	le	carr	,	who	also	co	wrote	the	screenplay	,	the	film	offers	viewers	something	rarely	seen	in	theaters	this	time	of	year	:	a	solid	,	well	told	story	.	brosnan	plays	andy	osnard	,	a	british	operative	walking	on	thin	ice	.	his	british	superiors	ship	him	off	to	panama	,	making	sure	he	understands	that	he	had	better	not	screw	up	the	placement	.	osnard	arrives	in	the	tropics	virtually	oozing	contempt	for	his	new	co	workers	and	his	new	home	base	.	when	shown	the	bridge	of	the	americas	by	a	person	marveling	over	the	fact	that	,	since	the	creation	of	the	panama	canal	,	the	structure	is	the	sole	connection	between	north	and	south	america	,	he	barely	keeps	from	yawning	.	brosnan	clearly	relishes	the	chance	to	be	the	antithesis	of	007	,	investing	the	suave	spy	with	a	distinct	reptilian	quality	coupled	with	an	air	of	indifference	that	irks	his	fellows	to	no	end	.	searching	for	a	way	to	get	information	on	the	government	,	osnard	sets	his	sights	on	harry	pendel	(	geoffrey	rush	)	,	an	unctuous	tailor	serving	the	panamanian	elite	.	harry	claims	to	be	a	transplant	from	britain's	renowned	saville	row	,	but	osnard	knows	his	secret	:	the	tailor	is	an	ex	con	who	served	five	years	in	prison	after	torching	his	uncle's	shop	in	an	insurance	scam	.	he	also	knows	that	harry	is	up	to	his	ears	in	debt	,	having	spent	a	fortune	on	an	unsuccessful	farm	.	osnard	offers	harry	a	way	out	.	he	will	pay	for	information	harry	has	gathered	from	his	upscale	clientele	.	eager	to	comply	,	harry	offers	what	he	knows	,	then	starts	concocting	tidbits	to	keep	the	money	flowing	.	before	long	,	he	is	forced	to	spy	on	his	loving	wife	,	louisa	(	jamie	lee	curtis	)	,	an	aide	to	the	canal	director	.	harry's	little	lies	build	,	eventually	taking	on	a	life	of	their	own	.	osnard	turns	in	reports	about	the	"	silent	opposition	,	"	a	group	threatening	to	upset	the	balance	of	control	over	the	canal	.	the	bogus	revelation	proves	explosive	,	leading	to	meetings	in	washington	d	.	c	.	over	how	to	best	protect	the	vital	waterway	.	meanwhile	,	osnard	wallows	in	his	newfound	status	,	enjoying	the	best	the	city	has	to	offer	and	wooing	an	attractive	co	worker	.	and	harry	grows	ever	more	fretful	,	fearing	the	consequences	if	his	clients	,	not	to	mention	his	wife	,	learn	about	his	lies	.	geoffrey	rush	is	wonderful	as	harry	,	fawning	over	his	customers	by	day	and	savoring	his	rich	family	life	in	the	evenings	,	all	while	playing	secret	agent	in	the	off	hours	with	his	new	benefactor	.	rush	makes	harry	a	credible	figure	,	presenting	the	various	levels	of	the	character	so	effectively	that	he	remains	sympathetic	despite	his	duplicity	.	after	gaining	fame	playing	larger	than	life	characters	,	rush	flips	everything	around	for	this	role	,	using	his	energy	to	depict	the	quiet	desperation	of	a	man	slowly	realizing	that	the	solution	to	his	troubles	may	be	worse	than	the	original	problems	.	although	she	gets	far	too	little	screen	time	,	jamie	lee	curtis	imbues	louisa	with	a	depth	greater	than	the	screenplay	provides	her	.	of	the	central	characters	,	she	is	the	only	one	that	exhibits	maturity	and	genuine	self	confidence	.	curtis	is	one	of	my	favorite	female	actors	;	whiplash	smart	,	sultry	and	charismatic	,	she	deserves	more	than	supporting	roles	.	speaking	of	supporting	characters	,	there	are	some	great	ones	here	.	harold	pinter	is	amusing	as	harry's	uncle	benny	,	who	pops	up	throughout	the	story	in	a	number	of	creative	ways	.	also	shoring	up	the	proceedings	is	jon	polito	as	a	corrupt	banker	and	dylan	baker	,	who	is	a	riot	as	a	united	states	general	straight	out	of	the	dr	.	strangelove	school	of	armed	patriotism	.	but	the	most	important	secondary	performers	are	leonor	varela	and	brendan	gleeson	,	both	outstanding	as	two	wounded	activists	.	their	presence	adds	weight	to	the	story	,	reminding	us	that	beyond	the	charades	of	the	leading	men	,	there	are	real	people	that	have	suffered	greatly	over	the	politics	connected	to	the	canal	.	director	john	boorman	adds	additional	verisimilitude	by	shooting	the	film	on	location	.	instead	of	using	panama	city	merely	as	a	colorful	backdrop	,	he	adroitly	weaves	in	footage	of	all	aspects	of	life	there	.	the	metropolis	,	described	by	one	character	as	"	casablanca	without	heroes	"	pulsates	with	life	,	underling	the	folly	of	the	two	foreigners	playing	dangerous	games	that	could	have	a	disastrous	impact	on	a	great	many	people	.	"	the	tailor	of	panama	"	succeeds	because	the	principals	behind	it	were	bright	enough	to	make	it	more	than	a	simple	entertainment	.
pos	field	of	dreams	almost	defies	description	.	although	it's	about	baseball	,	it's	not	a	baseball	movie	.	although	the	film	is	extremely	spiritual	,	it's	not	about	religion	.	and	although	field	of	dreams	is	melodramatic	,	it's	not	a	tearjerker	.	to	really	understand	what	field	of	dreams	is	all	about	,	you	have	to	see	it	.	in	the	film	,	kevin	costner	plays	ray	kinsella	,	a	baseball	fan	,	'60s	berkeley	graduate	,	and	iowa	farmer	.	one	day	as	he	is	standing	in	the	middle	of	his	expansive	corn	fields	,	ray	hears	a	voice	;	it	tells	him	:	"	if	you	build	it	,	he	will	come	.	"	then	ray	has	a	vision	and	somehow	concludes	that	if	he	builds	a	baseball	field	in	the	middle	of	his	corn	,	shoeless	joe	jackson	will	arise	from	the	dead	to	play	ball	once	again	.	and	even	though	it	depletes	his	family's	savings	and	his	neighbors	think	he's	crazy	,	ray	clears	away	the	corn	and	builds	a	baseball	field	,	complete	with	bleachers	and	flood	lights	.	"	if	you	build	it	,	he	will	come	.	"	and	lo	and	behold	,	shoeless	joe	does	come	bringing	with	him	several	of	his	dead	teammates	.	and	then	ray	hears	the	voice	again	;	it	tells	him	to	"	ease	his	pain	.	"	ray	thinks	this	means	that	he	must	travel	to	boston	to	meet	terence	mann	,	an	influential	and	radical	novelist	from	the	'60s	who	has	since	stopped	writing	and	dropped	out	of	society	.	with	great	aplomb	,	james	earl	jones	plays	the	disillusioned	author	who	joins	forces	with	ray	and	embarks	with	him	on	a	magical	and	spiritual	journey	.	the	cast	in	field	of	dreams	is	excellent	,	especially	kevin	costner	in	the	lead	role	.	costner	gives	a	quiet	,	subtle	,	and	moving	performance	as	a	man	who	before	building	the	baseball	field	had	done	nothing	crazy	or	spontaneous	in	his	entire	life	.	costner	gives	ray	just	the	right	mix	of	enthusiasm	and	idealism	to	make	us	believe	in	his	mystic	visions	and	swallow	this	wondrous	fairy	tale	.	amy	madigan	gives	a	fine	supporting	performance	as	ray's	feisty	and	loving	wife	,	who	against	her	better	judgement	supports	her	husband's	crazy	ideas	.	in	her	most	impressive	scene	,	madigan	vehemently	argues	against	book	burning	at	a	p	.	t	.	a	.	meeting	,	displaying	the	sincere	passion	of	a	'60s	berkeley	radical	.	ray	liotta	is	appropriately	eerie	and	awe	inspiring	as	the	ghost	of	shoeless	joe	,	the	legendary	batter	who	was	suspended	from	baseball	for	his	involvement	in	the	1919	chicago	"	black	sox	"	scandal	.	and	finally	,	burt	lancaster	is	memorable	in	a	small	,	but	important	,	role	as	a	small	town	doctor	whose	professional	baseball	career	was	limited	to	only	one	inning	.	field	of	dreams	is	a	touching	fairy	tale	full	of	life	,	wonder	,	mystery	,	spirit	,	and	humor	.	it	,	for	the	most	part	,	succeeds	in	capturing	our	emotions	and	suspending	our	disbelief	.	ray	kinsella's	spiritual	quest	in	pursuit	of	his	dreams	proves	to	be	moving	and	miraculous	.	but	while	field	of	dreams	generally	avoids	excessive	melodrama	,	it	unfortunately	does	at	times	go	overboard	,	and	by	the	end	it	gets	down	right	sappy	.	in	general	,	however	,	field	of	dreams	is	an	emotionally	satisfying	fantasy	one	i	can	recommend	to	everyone	but	unromantic	cynics	.
pos	starring	steve	martin	,	eddie	murphy	,	heather	graham	,	christine	baranski	,	jamie	kennedy	,	robert	downey	jr	.	,	and	terrence	stamp	.	the	last	steve	martin	film	i	saw	,	the	spanish	prisoner	,	was	a	very	different	approach	for	the	comic	actor	.	as	a	millionaire	leading	a	massive	conspiracy	in	order	to	rob	"	a	process	"	from	a	clueless	businessman	,	martin's	character	did	it	all	for	money	.	in	his	most	recent	movie	,	bowfinger	,	martin	plays	yet	another	con	man	except	this	time	he	does	it	to	succeed	in	the	film	industry	.	he	wants	to	direct	a	successful	picture	that	will	force	people	to	remember	his	name	,	that	will	make	him	more	popular	at	the	parties	,	and	,	most	importantly	,	that	will	cause	fed	ex	to	deliver	important	business	packages	to	his	front	door	.	playing	the	title	role	,	martin	is	once	again	the	good	guy	;	the	one	we	cheer	for	to	complete	his	low	budget	action	movie	.	this	con	man	is	very	likeable	for	some	reason	,	even	though	he	is	doing	the	same	exact	thing	as	the	malicious	jimmy	del	from	the	spanish	prisoner	.	maybe	the	message	is	that	,	in	hollywood	,	to	win	over	the	trust	and	friendship	of	others	,	you	have	to	be	a	little	evil	.	bowfinger	is	a	very	clever	comedy	with	great	performances	from	its	two	stars	.	martin	,	who	also	wrote	the	screenplay	,	is	perfect	as	a	jerk	with	a	conscience	and	eddie	murphy	does	his	best	"	peter	sellers	"	in	two	different	,	but	equally	hilarious	,	roles	;	one	as	a	big	time	move	star	and	the	other	as	his	nerdy	,	burger	king	employee	brother	.	the	story	follows	aging	and	failing	director	producer	bobby	bowfinger	as	he	makes	one	last	attempt	to	become	a	respected	member	of	his	field	by	creating	a	b	action	movie	called	chubby	rain	.	in	order	to	attract	actors	and	crew	members	,	bowfinger	promises	them	that	hot	shot	actor	kit	ramsey	will	star	in	the	movie	.	the	only	problem	is	that	kit	refuses	to	be	in	it	.	but	this	won't	stop	the	aggressive	bowfinger	.	he	is	so	determined	to	complete	his	film	that	he	decides	to	put	kit	in	it	without	even	telling	him	.	he	has	his	actors	approach	kit	on	the	streets	of	los	angeles	in	character	with	a	hidden	camera	filming	the	footage	.	will	bowfinger	be	able	to	make	his	film	?	or	will	kit	ramsey	discover	what	exactly	is	going	on	?	bowfinger	is	a	very	cartoon	like	movie	that	pokes	fun	at	hollywood	and	its	famous	residents	while	simultaneously	holding	a	very	solid	story	line	.	the	only	area	where	the	film	really	lacks	is	the	cameo	department	.	this	is	the	kind	of	movie	that	cameos	are	all	about	,	it	is	always	funny	to	see	actors	directors	producers	making	fun	of	themselves	or	co	workers	especially	in	a	playful	movie	such	as	this	.	besides	the	very	repetitive	and	superflous	ending	,	bowfinger	is	a	joy	to	watch	.	if	you	take	a	movie	like	this	seriously	then	you	will	never	enjoy	it	.	if	you	accept	the	incredulous	plot	and	the	extreme	caricatures	of	real	entertainment	figures	,	the	movie	is	great	fun	.
pos	no	,	it	is	not	a	bad	film	,	in	fact	it	is	so	good	in	achieving	its	purpose	,	i	actually	wished	for	the	film	to	end	itself	quickly	.	event	horizon	is	not	your	run	of	the	mill	sci	fi	film	,	i'm	sure	many	who	have	watched	this	will	agree	with	me	.	it	is	not	even	original	in	that	sense	,	and	it	does	borrow	heavily	from	films	like	alien	,	hellraiser	and	even	blade	runner	.	the	magic	of	this	film	lies	in	its	unorthodox	setting	and	methodical	build	up	that	makes	it	wonderfully	horrifying	.	the	story	brings	us	to	the	year	2050	,	where	space	travel	have	since	enormously	progressed	.	the	event	horizon	is	actually	a	ship	built	for	a	secret	experimental	purpose	;	it	has	the	ability	to	fold	time	and	space	thus	making	it	possible	for	travelling	distances	not	reachable	in	a	man's	lifetime	.	the	ship	disappeared	as	soon	as	it	went	into	operation	but	after	7	years	,	it	reappeared	again	within	the	orbit	of	neptune	.	a	search	and	rescue	team	led	by	miller	(	fishburne	)	is	given	the	task	to	check	for	survivors	of	the	event	horizon	.	the	designer	of	the	ship	,	dr	.	weir	(	neill	)	follows	along	to	satisfy	his	curiosity	on	what	actually	happened	to	his	otherwise	technologically	impressive	ship	.	event	horizon	is	a	sci	fi	horror	film	,	much	truer	to	the	word	than	say	,	alien	would	ever	be	.	while	in	alien	,	the	crew	has	to	cope	with	a	ferocious	creature	while	encased	within	tight	spaces	,	in	event	horizon	,	the	forces	which	goes	against	the	crew	is	undefined	but	yet	so	powerful	and	horrifying	.	the	story	unfolds	itself	slowly	and	the	suspense	buildup	is	superb	,	up	till	the	point	where	i	really	felt	like	saying	out	loud	enough	!	i	can't	stand	this	anymore	!	'	.	there	are	more	than	enough	jolts	to	send	your	adrenalin	pumping	overtime	.	the	story	in	itself	is	not	exactly	something	very	exciting	and	also	,	the	acting	is	only	at	most	,	average	by	most	commercial	standards	.	even	so	,	the	essence	of	horror	is	carried	out	very	well	in	this	film	,	thanks	to	its	well	paced	storytelling	,	disturbing	set	designs	and	some	really	gory	sequences	(	which	incidentally	,	has	been	quite	generously	removed	by	our	censorship	board	)	.	director	paul	anderson	(	who	did	mortal	kombat	)	and	his	team	of	atmosphere'	creators	have	done	well	in	keeping	event	horizon	within	the	bounds	of	the	term	horror'	.	this	picture	did	not	do	very	well	in	the	us	box	office	most	probably	for	the	dread	factor	impact	it	has	on	most	audiences	;	people	will	not	see	it	again	and	not	many	would	recommend	their	friend	to	watch	this	.	although	on	the	face	of	it	,	event	horizon	is	mostly	molded	for	mass	entertainment	;	many	thrills	,	spills	and	suspense	to	keep	audiences	in	focus	.	however	,	the	offbeat	horror	element	which	it	ultimately	convey	audiences	is	very	disturbing	.	my	friend	and	i	could	not	say	a	word	to	each	other	for	quite	a	while	after	going	through	the	experience'	of	event	horizon	.	i	guess	it	was	just	the	immense	feeling	of	dread	which	the	film	had	cast	upon	us	.	be	forewarned	,	this	film	is	not	for	the	faint	hearted	nor	for	pure	entertainment	.	be	prepared	to	be	disturbed	if	you	should	decide	to	watch	this	film	!	event	horizon	is	highly	recommendedbut	at	your	own	risk	!	it	has	been	a	long	time	since	good	horror	embraced	the	big	screen	,	and	event	horizon	is	one	.
pos	starring	denzel	washington	,	john	hannah	,	live	schreiber	,	deborah	kara	unger	,	viscellous	reon	shannon	,	dan	hedaya	,	harris	yulin	,	david	paymer	,	clancy	brown	,	and	rod	steiger	.	directed	by	norman	jewison	written	by	armayan	bernstein	and	dan	gordon	denzel	washington	is	among	the	many	actors	this	holiday	season	to	give	very	impressive	milestone	performances	.	this	perhaps	may	be	washington's	very	best	to	date	.	he	joins	matt	damon	and	jim	carrey	in	having	the	talent	,	this	season	,	to	become	his	character	,	copying	mannerisms	and	personal	styles	perfectly	.	his	very	believable	performance	makes	the	long	and	uninteresting	"	the	hurricane	"	a	much	better	film	than	it	actually	is	.	when	his	rubin	"	hurricane	"	carter	feels	pain	and	is	tormented	by	racism	,	he	creates	for	the	audience	a	great	sense	of	sympathy	,	disgust	,	and	maybe	even	some	embarrassment	from	the	fact	that	this	is	our	very	own	country	that	is	breaking	laws	to	support	silly	prejudices	.	the	horrific	true	events	carter	suffered	from	all	of	his	life	are	slightly	more	disturbing	and	terrifying	because	they	only	took	place	a	few	decades	ago	.	the	powerful	expressions	of	denzel	washington	alone	,	as	his	tortured	carter	,	sum	up	the	troubles	of	racism	in	america's	history	.	he	is	that	amazing	.	the	problem	with	"	the	hurricane	"	is	that	when	compared	to	washington	,	all	of	the	other	actors	are	not	nearly	as	memorable	in	their	roles	.	mainly	because	the	script	focuses	so	much	on	carter	,	that	it	leaves	little	interest	or	room	for	the	other	actors	.	this	is	,	without	a	doubt	,	washington's	movie	but	in	order	for	any	film	to	be	completely	satisfying	,	it	must	utilize	everyone	in	the	cast	to	their	highest	potential	not	just	the	stars	.	denzel	washington	is	the	only	reason	to	see	this	film	for	his	inspirational	and	very	depressing	tour	de	force	performance	.	as	rubin	carter	,	we	see	a	black	man	whose	existence	has	been	a	punching	bag	for	the	white	american	court	system	.	from	the	age	of	eleven	to	twenty	one	he	was	sent	to	a	juvenile	prison	for	a	crime	he	did	not	commit	.	then	after	a	successful	marriage	and	boxing	career	,	he	was	harshly	imprisoned	again	for	life	after	being	framed	for	a	triple	murder	.	carter's	second	term	in	prison	seemed	almost	inevitable	when	faced	off	against	jealous	,	powerful	white	men	who	refused	to	let	him	succeed	.	from	these	past	experiences	in	jail	,	carter	realized	that	he	must	make	his	case	heard	for	all	of	america	.	after	several	court	appeals	,	an	autobiography	,	and	many	public	marches	for	his	freedom	,	carter	remained	locked	in	prison	.	it	was	not	until	a	young	black	boy	from	brooklyn	being	educated	in	toronto	read	carter's	book	in	the	1980's	,	that	a	serious	battle	for	freedom	took	place	.	the	young	boy	and	his	three	canadian	guardians	decide	to	dedicate	all	of	their	time	to	the	case	until	carter	is	released	.	the	greatest	scenes	in	the	film	are	when	carter	begins	to	lose	his	mind	after	spending	three	months	in	isolation	.	washington	really	shows	the	breakdown	of	carter	when	after	swearing	he	would	never	go	to	jail	again	,	he	is	unfairly	framed	at	the	height	of	his	innocent	career	.	the	devastation	in	washington's	eyes	show	a	man	who	has	struggled	to	do	the	right	thing	his	whole	life	only	to	be	punished	for	it	.	in	the	hole	,	carter	attempts	to	maintain	emotional	balance	but	he	cannot	.	his	anger	is	heightened	to	a	point	of	no	control	.	we	see	multiple	carters	,	a	violent	angry	one	,	a	silent	passive	one	,	and	a	mediator	.	we	see	an	emotional	boxing	match	inside	carter's	head	.	from	this	point	in	the	hole	to	the	end	of	the	film	,	this	fight	continues	.	it	is	very	apparent	at	times	which	side	is	winning	the	battle	and	in	some	scenes	there	is	a	direct	switch	from	angry	to	caring	or	the	opposite	.	when	carter	sees	that	white	canadians	want	to	help	him	get	out	of	prison	,	the	angry	carter	at	first	erupts	.	white	people	have	been	trying	to	hurt	him	his	whole	life	,	this	reminder	leads	to	anger	in	his	head	.	however	,	as	the	film	continues	and	the	canadians	continue	to	help	carter	we	see	the	calm	side	him	.	he	realizes	that	society	is	changing	.	that	racism	is	decreasing	and	now	carter	wants	to	leave	jail	immediately	and	become	a	part	of	this	world	.	very	rarely	have	i	seen	such	determination	to	perfect	his	role	as	washington	has	done	here	.	if	only	the	other	actors	had	this	same	determination	.	dan	hedaya	,	ridiculously	plays	the	man	who	sends	carter	to	prison	twice	by	forcing	witnesses	to	lie	and	switching	evidence	around	.	it	felt	like	his	character	was	taken	straight	out	of	a	"	scooby	doo	"	episode	;	he	would	have	gotten	away	with	it	if	it	wasn't	for	those	annoying	little	kids	.	"	the	kids	"	in	this	film	are	the	three	canadians	who	are	terribly	underused	making	their	relationship	with	carter	underdeveloped	and	unbelievable	.	the	lawyers	who	help	release	carter	also	are	underused	,	as	is	clancy	brown	as	a	kind	prison	guard	(	the	complete	opposite	of	his	character	in	"	shawshank	redemption	"	)	.	there	is	a	great	amount	of	talent	in	this	supporting	cast	but	it	just	never	appears	.	hedaya	was	superb	in	"	clueless	,	"	same	for	david	paymer	in	"	get	shorty	,	"	harris	yulin	in	"	ghostbusters	"	and	liev	schreiber	in	"	the	daytrippers	.	"	it	is	a	mystery	how	this	many	actors	signed	on	to	such	shallow	roles	.	on	the	other	hand	,	it	is	absolutely	no	mystery	why	denzel	washington	agreed	to	play	rubin	"	hurricane	"	carter	.	this	role	is	about	as	far	off	from	shallow	as	you	can	get	.
pos	the	happy	bastard's	30	second	review	happy	gilmore	as	a	father	?	of	course	!	that's	the	latest	scenario	presented	by	adam	sandler	in	the	new	movie	big	daddy	,	a	movie	that's	passable	but	isn't	really	considered	some	of	sandler's	best	work	.	he	doesn't	actually	play	happy	gilmore	in	the	movie	,	but	a	variation	of	him	.	he's	sonny	coufax	,	a	man	who's	living	off	a	settlement	he	got	for	a	cab	running	over	his	foot	and	his	one	day	a	week	gig	as	a	tollbooth	man	(	tollbooth	willie	?	)	.	his	girlfriend	(	kristy	swanson	)	is	fed	up	with	his	lifestyle	and	demands	a	change	before	she	leaves	him	.	enter	a	5	year	old	kid	,	who's	mysteriously	dropped	at	his	doorstep	and	intended	for	his	preppy	roommate	(	jon	stewart	)	,	who's	off	in	china	on	a	business	trip	.	from	there	,	coufax	basically	acts	as	the	kid's	father	,	teaching	him	different	things	like	peeing	on	the	side	of	a	building	and	tripping	up	skateboarders	with	sticks	.	he	even	manages	to	use	the	kid	in	a	sort	of	con	game	to	get	the	attention	of	a	beautiful	law	office	worker	(	joey	lauren	adams	)	,	but	,	somehow	,	he	also	garners	the	attention	of	social	services	,	who	aren't	particularly	pleased	with	coufax's	actions	,	as	he	pretends	to	be	his	roommate	to	keep	the	kid	.	the	reason	i	say	it's	not	really	sandler's	best	work	is	because	it	gets	really	sappy	towards	the	end	of	a	movie	,	showing	some	odd	feelings	that	somehow	didn't	really	belong	in	a	sandler	vehicle	.	i	mean	,	it	fits	the	movie's	tone	and	everything	,	and	sandler	handles	it	well	,	but	it's	just	oddly	placed	,	that's	all	.	fortunately	,	it	doesn't	destroy	the	goofy	glee	path	it's	been	following	and	it	still	makes	you	feel	good	.	sandler	does	a	good	job	here	,	as	he	does	in	most	of	his	movies	.	rob	schneider	,	however	,	is	irritating	as	his	friend	,	an	immigrant	delivery	boy	who	can't	read	.	stewart	,	in	his	minor	time	on	screen	,	is	great	,	and	adams	remains	a	joy	to	watch	.	look	for	steve	buscemi	as	well	as	a	homeless	bum	.	he's	a	hoot	.	directed	by	dennis	dugan	(	director	of	happy	gilmore	)	,	the	movie	remains	a	good	couple	of	hours	to	pass	the	time	with	.	again	,	there	are	faults	,	but	,	hey	,	everyone	needs	to	get	emotional	sometimes	.
pos	watching	crash	,	the	recurring	thought	that	popped	into	my	mind	was	damn	,	i	wonder	how	these	people	afford	auto	insurance	.	'	i	mean	,	here	we	have	a	movie	about	people	screwing	like	rabbits	while	at	the	same	time	crashing	cars	left	and	right	.	and	,	although	crash's	really	made	of	a	lot	tougher	stuff	than	the	two	of	those	,	they	constitute	such	a	large	amount	of	the	plot	and	curious	draw	of	this	safe	haven	of	sadomasochism	that	the	producers	used	the	quote	sex	and	car	crashes'	(	ironically	,	from	a	review	that	blasts	the	film	)	to	advertise	their	celluloid	psychosexual	psychosis	.	leave	it	to	me	to	be	thinking	of	auto	insurance	rates	,	when	a	sexy	actresses	like	deborah	kara	unger	is	going	at	it	onscreen	.	crash	is	the	story	of	james	ballard	(	james	spader	,	picking	his	most	interesting	(	and	perverse	)	role	since	sex	,	lies	,	and	videotape	)	)	,	a	man	who	is	living	in	a	marriage	with	a	primal	curse	:	his	wife	,	catherine	(	deborah	kara	unger	)	,	cannot	reach	orgasm	.	she	loves	sex	her	habits	are	downright	nymphomaniacle	and	the	marriage	is	open	ended	but	nothing	she	can	do	can	make	her	reach	orgasm	.	her	husband	makes	this	both	his	personal	quest	and	problem	the	two	wonder	constantly	about	each	other's	sexual	partners	,	go	at	it	at	least	twice	a	day	,	and	often	have	sex	at	the	office	.	yet	nothing's	quite	doing	it	for	cathy	.	she's	just	not	getting	her	big	o	.	one	day	,	while	driving	home	from	working	on	a	car	crash	safety	commercial	,	ballard	has	a	head	on	collision	with	dr	.	helen	remmington	(	holly	hunter	)	.	remmington's	husband	dies	,	flying	through	the	windshield	,	and	the	last	thing	ballard	witnesses	before	he	passes	out	is	remmington	ripping	open	her	shirt	and	proceeding	to	begin	enjoying	herself	in	the	car	.
pos	floating	life	(	southern	star	1997	)	starring	annette	shun	wah	,	annie	yip	,	anthony	wong	,	edwin	pang	,	cecilia	fong	sing	lee	,	toby	chan	,	toby	wong	screenplay	by	eddie	ling	ching	fong	,	clara	law	produced	by	bridget	ikin	directed	by	clara	law	running	time	:	95	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	floating	life	,	australia's	first	ever	submission	to	the	academy	of	motion	picture	arts	sciences	for	consideration	in	the	best	foreign	language	film	category	(	its	dialogue	is	in	cantonese	,	english	,	and	german	)	,	marks	a	special	accomplishment	by	clara	law	.	a	compelling	,	at	times	poignant	film	,	it	manages	to	maintain	its	truthfulness	while	teetering	between	comedy	and	melodrama	.	floating	life	centers	around	a	hong	kong	family's	sense	of	dislocation	and	loss	of	identity	after	moving	to	australia	in	order	to	avoid	the	communist	takeover	of	hong	kong	,	and	is	divided	into	clearly	defined	vignettes	,	each	chapter	labelled	with	title	cards	pertaining	to	houses	,	which	serves	to	emphasize	the	film's	theme	of	family	.	the	film	opens	with	mr	.	and	mrs	.	chan	(	edwin	pang	,	cecilia	fong	sing	lee	)	and	their	two	teen	sons	(	toby	wong	,	toby	chan	)	leaving	the	bustling	,	claustrophobic	metropolis	of	hong	kong	to	join	their	second	daughter	bing	(	annie	yip	)	in	australia	.	with	their	spacious	,	immaculately	white	new	house	and	the	vast	abundance	of	neighbourhood	greenery	,	the	chans	initially	find	this	serene	new	land	a	strange	and	wonderous	one	,	and	with	neurotic	bing	cooly	remarking	about	the	possible	dangers	of	australian	life	(	killer	dogs	,	poisonous	spiders	,	dangerous	ultraviolet	rays	)	a	frightening	one	.	this	sets	up	a	wonderfully	amusing	scene	early	in	the	film	where	the	four	immigrants	,	aimlessly	ambling	about	their	new	suburban	neighbourhood	,	are	sent	scrambling	by	the	yelps	of	a	little	white	puppy	.	the	tone	set	up	early	in	the	film	is	broadly	comic	,	and	one	expects	floating	life	to	depict	the	clash	of	cultures	as	the	chans	struggle	to	acclimatize	themselves	to	the	new	ways	of	australian	life	as	they	integrate	themselves	into	australian	society	(	a	scene	where	the	two	teen	sons	meet	up	with	a	sunbathing	neighbourhood	girl	is	left	dangling	)	,	but	the	film	suddenly	veers	towards	an	introspective	and	melodramatic	tone	.	floating	life	shifts	its	focus	away	from	the	exploits	of	the	new	immigrants	and	towards	bing's	domineering	of	her	newly	reunited	family	,	setting	out	a	set	of	stringent	and	oppressive	rules	which	create	tremendous	tension	within	the	household	and	threaten	to	fracture	the	family	.	meanwhile	,	elder	daughter	yen	(	annette	shun	wah	)	,	happily	settled	in	germany	with	her	husband	and	young	daughter	,	begins	to	suffer	an	identity	crisis	,	manifesting	itself	with	her	claims	to	her	patiently	exasperated	husband	that	their	new	home	is	cursed	with	bad	feng	shui	,	and	further	exacerbated	upon	hearing	of	the	familial	conflict	down	under	.	among	the	dramatic	threads	of	floating	life	,	this	is	perhaps	the	most	effective	and	engaging	,	with	an	interesting	set	of	characters	and	a	storyline	which	generates	a	genuine	emotional	punch	.	the	one	misguided	vignette	in	floating	life	involves	eldest	son	gar	ming	(	anthony	wong	)	,	left	behind	in	hong	kong	to	resolve	various	affairs	on	behalf	of	his	family	and	to	await	his	immigration	papers	before	rejoining	his	parents	and	brothers	in	australia	.	emotionally	detatched	and	aimlessly	drifting	,	his	is	an	uncompelling	character	,	and	consequently	subsequent	attempts	to	draw	out	pathos	are	uninvolving	and	ineffective	.	his	desperate	search	for	emotional	fulfillment	is	depicted	by	philosopical	droning	on	the	exquisite	peak	of	an	orgasm	,	which	quickly	becomes	tedious	.	ms	.	law's	film	cheerfully	embraces	melodrama	each	of	the	major	vignettes	feature	excessively	emotional	climaxes	which	i	couldn't	help	but	find	reminiscent	to	wayne	wang's	acutely	unsubtle	the	joy	luck	club	but	despite	the	director's	rather	clear	attempts	to	tug	at	the	heartstrings	,	i	couldn't	help	but	be	touched	by	a	powerful	and	affecting	soliloquy	delivered	masterfully	by	cecilia	fong	sing	lee	which	truly	packs	an	emotional	wallop	and	,	in	dramatic	terms	,	is	certainly	the	highlight	of	floating	life	.	floating	life	at	times	spreads	itself	too	thin	;	given	the	myriad	of	characters	involved	,	it	could	either	stand	to	delve	into	each	vignette	a	little	deeper	,	or	narrow	its	focus	to	a	select	group	of	key	characters	.	however	,	it	is	a	fine	film	,	with	a	thoughtful	and	insightful	screenplay	by	clara	law	and	husband	eddie	ling	ching	fong	,	and	some	superb	acting	by	a	cast	consisting	almost	exclusively	of	non	actors	(	special	note	is	to	be	made	of	cecilia	fong	sing	lee	,	annette	shun	wah	,	and	a	short	but	dazzling	performance	by	an	actress	who	portrayed	gar	ming's	girlfriend	from	vancouver	)	.	floating	life	is	ultimately	about	the	ties	that	bond	a	family	together	,	which	are	able	to	withstand	great	distances	and	new	environments	.
pos	see	this	review	as	it	was	intended	at	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a	cast	:	damon	jones	,	dave	ward	,	david	lee	wilson	,	aimee	chafin	,	angela	jones	,	anna	padgett	,	dan	weene	,	ann	zupa	,	brandon	slater	,	jason	posey	,	chris	jarecki	,	terence	washington	,	tyrone	young	,	orlando	estrada	,	robert	hargett	,	elexa	williams	,	tupelo	jerome	,	ray	wadsworth	,	kelly	mccrary	,	joe	wood	,	clint	curtis	,	lynn	odell	,	michael	turner	,	candy	ass	written	and	directed	by	:	randolph	kret	running	time	:	105	minutes	aggressive	,	bleak	,	and	unrelenting	film	about	an	interracial	couple	,	steve	and	sam	(	damon	jones	and	elexa	williams	respectively	)	,	who	are	viciously	attacked	in	a	parking	garage	one	night	by	a	gang	of	skinheads	.	the	skinheads	beat	steve	,	then	force	him	to	watch	as	they	brutally	rape	his	girlfriend	over	and	over	again	.	when	sam	kills	herself	later	that	evening	,	steve	decides	that	the	skinheads	must	be	taught	a	lesson	.	waiting	seven	months	for	the	thuggish	skinheads	to	forget	about	the	incident	entirely	,	steve	shaves	his	head	,	dresses	in	combat	boots	and	suspenders	,	tattoos	his	flesh	with	nazi	symbols	,	and	tries	to	infiltrate	the	gang	.	as	he	gets	closer	and	closer	to	the	people	who	committed	the	horrible	crime	against	his	girlfriend	,	he	begins	to	learn	just	how	vicious	these	people	really	are	and	starts	to	question	his	own	motives	for	violence	.	randolph	kret's	script	,	based	on	two	real	life	incidents	that	affected	not	only	his	life	but	the	life	of	the	film's	producer	shaun	hill	,	is	an	affront	on	violence	and	intolerance	.	the	film	causes	its	audience	to	be	subjected	to	such	brutality	and	ignorance	that	one	can't	help	but	be	disgusted	by	the	events	presented	within	.	i've	seen	it	said	that	this	is	the	film	fight	club	should	have	been	,	but	david	fincher's	film	was	trying	to	define	a	generation	.	kret's	film	is	a	wake	up	call	to	a	generation	and	his	message	is	a	powerful	one	.	if	fincher	is	the	kubrick	of	our	generation	,	then	kret	is	our	d	.	w	.	griffith	(	thematically	speaking	)	.	there	is	not	a	single	likable	character	in	the	film	.	the	skinheads	are	obviously	the	most	repulsive	characters	in	the	film	,	not	only	because	of	their	beliefs	but	because	they	are	in	a	constant	state	of	fury	(	not	just	against	other	races	but	within	their	own	circles	)	.	the	african	american	characters	in	the	film	are	constantly	shown	as	sexually	assaulting	drug	abusers	who	are	always	on	a	joyride	looking	for	someone	to	accost	.	even	gay	men	get	in	on	the	act	,	locating	the	skinheads'	lair	and	beating	them	severely	with	lead	pipes	and	other	blunt	objects	.	the	main	character	steve	is	also	unlikable	because	of	the	person	he	becomes	just	to	seek	out	revenge	.	what	all	of	this	comes	down	to	is	the	simple	message	that	violence	begets	violence	,	and	the	constant	clashes	between	factions	will	do	nothing	but	continue	the	endless	cycle	of	violence	inherent	in	our	society	.	the	cast	of	this	film	is	absolutely	remarkable	.	damon	jones	shows	a	raw	energy	that	many	actors	can't	seem	to	summon	these	days	and	his	performance	seems	nothing	less	than	powerful	.	his	initial	reaction	to	hearing	about	his	girlfriend's	suicide	is	one	of	the	most	affecting	scenes	i	have	ever	seen	in	a	film	.	david	lee	wilson	,	who	plays	(	appropriately	enough	)	david	lee	is	accurately	evil	as	the	second	in	command	skinhead	who	also	makes	extra	money	performing	oral	sex	on	other	men	(	an	irony	that	seems	lost	on	the	other	skinheads	)	.	wilson's	character	is	pure	hatred	and	he	brings	out	this	hate	perfectly	.	sadly	,	actor	dave	ward	,	who	portrays	the	character	of	crew	,	will	not	be	able	to	follow	up	his	excellent	performance	as	he	was	the	victim	of	a	vicious	act	of	violence	himself	at	the	hands	of	a	fellow	actor	during	an	incident	of	road	rage	.	ward	showed	immense	promise	and	he	will	be	greatly	missed	.	note	:	it	is	a	shame	that	the	filmmakers	had	to	add	a	disclaimer	to	the	end	of	the	film	stating	that	neither	they	nor	the	musicians	contributing	music	for	the	film	condone	racism	.	the	message	about	hatred	couldn't	be	spelled	out	any	more	clearly	than	it	is	here	,	but	there	are	those	who	would	probably	find	this	film	much	more	akin	to	a	training	video	than	a	condemnation	.	there	are	no	"	winners	"	at	the	end	of	this	film	either	.	no	character	gets	his	or	her	comeuppance	and	the	ending	leaves	us	almost	right	where	we	began	.	where	american	history	x	had	redemption	for	most	of	its	characters	,	no	such	victories	are	in	store	for	pariah's	band	of	twisted	souls	.	it	is	this	bleak	ending	that	carries	the	film's	most	powerful	message	:	the	message	that	,	despite	what	you	may	be	able	to	momentarily	do	to	put	your	own	mind	to	rest	,	evil	will	still	be	with	us	(	and	in	many	forms	)	and	there	is	very	little	than	can	be	done	to	eradicate	it	entirely	.	reviewed	by	brian	matherly	a	href	"	mailto	:	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	"	bmath2000	hotmail	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	widescreen25	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a	chuck	dowling	editor	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	one	of	the	best	ever	names	for	a	holiday	special	(	sure	as	hell	beats	frosty	returns	)	hits	home	video	a	year	after	its	tv	premiere	,	in	this	animated	production	from	simpsons	creator	matt	groening	.	based	on	a	book	by	j	.	otto	seibold	and	vivian	walsh	,	olive's	a	hip	dash	of	christmas	humor	and	fun	amidst	specials	that	have	just	made	little	kids	cry	all	these	years	.	see	,	olive's	not	really	a	reindeer	she's	a	dog	.	a	strange	dog	.	voiced	by	drew	barrymore	,	she	speaks	english	to	her	owner	tim	(	jay	mohr	)	,	doesn't	dig	for	bones	,	and	won't	chase	cars	.	while	listening	to	the	radio	on	christmas	eve	,	she	hears	that	santa	may	cancel	his	delivery	,	as	blitzen	is	injured	.	he	announces	(	in	a	90's	soundbite	)	,	that	he'll	just	have	to	rely	on	"	all	of	the	other	reindeer	.	"	olive	is	so	caught	up	in	the	holidays	,	she	thinks	santa	is	talking	about	her	.	even	her	pet	flea	can't	believe	it	.	once	it's	set	that	she's	really	a	lonely	misfit	a	holiday	story	staple	she's	off	to	the	north	pole	with	a	shifty	penguin	named	martini	(	the	matrix's	joe	pantoliano	)	.	they	catch	a	"	mauvehound	bus	"	driven	by	a	weirdo	named	richard	stands	(	snl's	tim	meadows	)	,	who	once	thought	the	pledge	of	allegiance	was	for	him	(	say	it	out	loud	)	.	but	it's	not	just	an	easy	bus	trip	that'll	get	olive	to	santaland	.	our	villain	is	a	demented	mailman	(	simpsons	veteran	dan	castellaneta	)	who	just	goes	postal	during	the	holiday	season	due	to	the	weight	of	the	all	his	deliveries	.	he'd	love	for	santa's	cancellation	to	hold	up	,	so	he's	on	his	own	quest	to	stop	olive	and	company	.	as	with	any	good	simpsons	episode	,	groening's	writer	simpsons	and	david	letterman	staffer	steve	young	fills	the	story	and	landscape	with	bad	puns	and	inside	visuals	that	welcome	the	adults	into	the	action	just	as	much	as	the	kids	.	the	laughs	don't	have	the	stinging	irony	of	the	simpsons	,	but	they	are	certainly	playful	enough	to	hold	most	viewers'	interest	.	as	is	the	animation	,	a	freaky	mix	of	multi	dimensional	backgrounds	and	flat	characters	.	it	looks	like	a	strange	combination	of	a	kid's	video	game	and	a	set	of	colorforms	,	giving	it	a	splashy	,	original	look	.	there	are	a	few	musical	numbers	that	whiz	by	,	most	notably	the	postman's	lament	about	delivering	the	mail	(	the	best	lyrics	in	the	feature	)	,	and	a	ditty	headed	by	rem's	michael	stipe	,	singing	as	schnitzel	the	reindeer	.	just	a	few	minutes	into	olive	,	i	wondered	why	drew	barrymore	was	voicing	our	hero	.	she's	not	really	a	voice	actor	,	and	doesn't	sound	too	expressive	.	then	i	read	that	she	and	partner	nancy	juvonen	are	also	executive	producers	on	this	special	.	drew	may	want	to	audition	a	few	others	next	time	.	but	,	like	most	of	olive	,	drew's	voice	grew	on	me	.	this	is	a	special	that's	hard	not	to	enjoy	,	and	it	thankfully	avoids	any	sappy	finale	.	it	may	not	enter	the	pantheon	of	holiday	classics	,	but	it's	just	too	damn	cute	not	to	watch	once	a	year	.	especially	when	olive	wags	that	little	tail	.	that's	great	.
pos	review	by	scott	hunt	.	visit	me	at	movie	hunt	a	href	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	"	http	:	netdirect	.	net	hunt	index	.	html	a	cast	:	chow	yun	fat	,	jodie	foster	,	bai	ling	director	:	andy	tennant	writer	:	anna	leonowens	,	steve	meerson	,	peter	krikes	anna	and	the	king	strides	onto	the	screen	in	full	regalia	,	wearing	a	brilliant	suit	of	sumptuous	landscapes	,	deep	,	vibrant	colors	and	an	epic	storyline	.	it's	true	beauty	comes	from	it's	subtle	ruminations	on	the	politics	of	power	,	whether	it's	between	governments	,	or	the	interplay	between	a	man	and	a	woman	.	anna	(	jodie	foster	)	is	a	widowed	british	schoolteacher	with	a	touch	of	wanderlust	trying	to	grasp	her	quicksilver	feelings	concerning	the	recent	death	of	her	husband	.	with	son	in	tow	,	she	takes	the	employ	of	king	mongkut	(	chow	yun	fat	)	to	tutor	his	son	in	the	english	language	.	mongkut	sees	the	strength	of	the	british	and	correctly	surmises	that	his	country's	future	lies	in	opening	itself	up	to	the	ways	of	the	western	world	.	anna	function	is	to	help	provide	that	link	.	the	core	of	the	film	,	of	course	,	deals	with	the	blossoming	love	between	anna	and	mongkut	as	it	attempts	to	germinate	in	the	unfriendly	soil	of	a	shifting	political	climate	.	foster	plays	anna	with	equal	parts	clenched	jaw	and	wide	eyed	wonder	.	she	is	assertive	,	yet	,	respectful	of	the	king	as	she	initially	tries	to	impose	her	western	sensibilities	upon	him	.	it	is	one	of	foster's	strongest	performances	since	silence	of	the	lambs	in	a	role	she	could	not	have	played	earlier	in	her	career	.	she	brings	a	mature	self	awareness	and	determination	that	might	not	have	come	across	from	a	younger	foster	.	it's	a	joy	to	watch	her	cagily	bargain	for	her	own	measure	of	influence	within	the	realm	of	mongkut's	monarchy	.	when	she	makes	her	entrance	into	a	politically	charged	banquet	mid	film	,	she	exudes	a	hypnotic	beauty	that	is	deepened	by	her	textured	performance	.	chow	yun	fat's	king	mongkut	is	every	measure	of	foster's	anna	,	perhaps	even	more	so	.	this	is	the	chow	yun	fat	that	hong	kong	cinema	has	been	in	love	with	for	nearly	twenty	years	.	he	is	imposing	,	yet	vulnerable	,	playful	,	but	stern	.	it	is	an	impressively	assured	and	nuanced	performance	.	precious	time	is	stolen	from	the	movie's	155	minutes	running	time	by	an	unengaging	subplot	involving	one	the	king's	concubines	(	bai	ling	)	and	her	love	of	a	commoner	.	it	strikes	with	the	subtlety	of	siam's	fabled	white	elephant	as	it	stomps	through	the	leisurely	paced	story	.	some	may	be	put	off	by	the	action	filled	climax	of	the	movie	.	although	a	bit	inconsistent	in	tone	from	the	rest	of	the	film	,	it	fits	within	the	established	subplot	of	a	perceived	siege	by	neighboring	burma	,	a	country	backed	by	the	british	.	anna	and	the	king	transcends	being	a	predictable	,	traditional	love	story	by	avoiding	mawkishness	.	it	shows	a	seduction	of	intelligence	.	ever	mindful	of	each	other's	positions	,	anna	and	king	mongkut	negotiate	a	maze	of	social	customs	,	conflicting	world	views	and	lost	loved	ones	to	connect	on	a	level	that	ultimately	proves	deeply	satisfying	,	if	not	achingly	bittersweet	.
pos	starring	:	ashley	judd	,	tommy	lee	jones	,	annabeth	gish	,	bruce	greenwood	,	michael	gaston	.	rated	r	for	violence	,	language	and	some	sexuality	.	underrated	movies	are	a	common	reoccurrence	in	show	business	today	.	1998's	'hope	floats'	was	extremely	underrated	and	was	one	of	the	best	movies	of	the	year	.	we	always	get	films	that	make	big	money	at	the	box	office	but	critics	and	audiences	pan	on	them	.	this	year	'double	jeopardy'	is	one	of	those	films	.	critics	are	calling	it	predictable	and	worthless	,	audiences	are	disappointed	with	it	and	think	it	was	a	disappointment	.	but	as	i	viewed	'double	jeopardy'	i	found	that	it	was	a	great	movie	,	it	has	a	surprising	sense	of	humor	and	a	big	dose	of	heart	,	along	with	heart	pounding	suspense	and	twists	and	turns	here	and	there	it	certainly	is	a	really	good	movie	.	the	always	wonderful	ashley	judd	plays	libby	parsons	,	a	woman	with	a	seemingly	normal	life	:	a	great	loving	husband	,	a	beautiful	son	and	a	great	friend	.	her	husband	nick	parsons	has	made	a	surprise	for	her	and	is	going	to	buy	her	the	sailboat	she	has	always	wanted	.	after	a	night	of	bliss	libby	wakes	up	in	the	middle	of	the	night	to	find	blood	all	over	her	and	all	over	the	sailboat	,	her	husband	is	missing	and	there	is	a	bloody	knife	on	deck	.	of	course	being	in	shock	she	picks	it	up	and	a	coast	guard	comes	over	and	sees	her	.	however	she	isn't	immediately	ceased	until	they	find	out	his	life	insurance	was	worth	two	million	dollars	and	they	start	to	wonder	rather	she	killed	him	for	the	money	.	she	pleads	not	guilty	but	is	found	guilty	and	sent	to	prison	for	six	years	.	while	making	a	phone	call	to	her	best	friend	who	adopted	her	son	for	her	and	she	hears	him	say	hi	to	his	dad	,	which	makes	libby's	heart	stop	right	there	.	she	realizes	she	must	get	out	and	prove	that	he	isn't	dead	,	one	of	her	cell	mates	tells	her	that	as	long	as	she	has	been	convicted	of	a	crime	she	cannot	be	convicted	of	it	again	.	which	means	she	can	shoot	him	in	the	middle	of	mardi	gras	and	they	cannot	do	anything	about	it	.	after	she	gets	out	she	goes	to	a	halfway	house	run	by	parole	officer	tommy	lee	jones	.	he	is	a	man	who	has	had	his	share	of	bad	things	.	while	out	for	the	day	she	breaks	into	a	school	and	tries	to	track	down	her	kid	and	husband	,	leading	up	to	some	jaw	dropping	twists	that	are	both	predictable	and	not	.	whatever	happens	the	film	was	excellent	to	me	.	i	found	the	writing	well	written	as	well	as	the	acting	was	great	.	ashley	judd	is	such	a	talented	and	beautiful	actress	that	she	is	a	hero	in	a	sort	in	this	movie	.	even	if	you	know	what	is	going	to	happen	in	the	end	,	you	don't	know	how	.	this	is	one	of	those	movies	that	you	really	do	know	what	is	going	to	happen	,	except	you	don't	know	how	they	are	going	to	make	it	happen	.	it	could	be	one	way	or	another	,	it	could	be	this	way	or	that	way	.	the	movie	is	highly	stylized	and	extremely	well	made	.	it	gets	most	of	it's	power	from	the	two	leads	:	ashley	judd	and	tommy	lee	jones	both	give	excellent	performances	.	the	characters	are	well	realized	and	believable	and	we	feel	libby's	pain	when	she	cannot	see	her	child	for	6	years	.	even	though	a	lot	of	critics	didn't	like	the	film	,	i	loved	it	.	the	director	took	his	time	making	the	movie	,	and	put	a	lot	of	shadowing	in	the	movie	.	i	found	it	not	to	be	boring	at	all	and	it's	only	flaw	comes	from	some	predictability	.	it	moved	at	a	fast	pace	,	has	suspense	,	humor	,	heart	and	great	acting	.	it	earns	it's	right	to	be	a	great	movie	and	to	me	that's	what	it	was	.	reviewed	by	brandon	herring	october	13	,	1999	.	brandon	herring	movie	review	heaven	(	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	hollywood	movie	3160	moviereviewheaven	.	html	a
pos	go	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	go	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	go	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	sarah	polley	,	desmond	askew	,	jay	mohr	,	scott	wolf	screenplay	by	john	august	directed	by	doug	liman	go's	is	a	gloriously	slick	hip	machine	.	director	liman	(	who	also	photographed	go	)	and	screenwriter	august	celebrate	the	drug	rave	scene	in	l	.	a	.	,	preferring	to	take	(	comedic	)	snapshots	of	troubled	youth	rather	than	critique	them	.	after	more	than	ninety	minutes	of	pill	popping	,	tantric	sex	,	car	chases	,	and	attempted	murder	,	go	even	has	a	happy	ending	.	this	is	the	sort	of	film	that	gives	members	of	the	dove	foundation	splitting	headaches	;	as	go	wound	down	,	i	anticipated	an	anti	pill	popping	casual	tantric	sex	car	chase	attempted	murder	sermon	that	(	blessedly	)	didn't	arrive	.	a	la	tarantino's	pulp	fiction	,	go	is	comprised	of	three	separate	but	related	stories	.	the	basics	are	as	follows	:	ronna	(	polley	)	is	a	bitter	grocery	store	clerk	facing	eviction	who	turns	to	drug	dealing	for	extra	dough	.	her	co	worker	,	simon	(	the	improbably	named	askew	)	,	is	a	clubber	from	britain	ecstatic	about	his	first	trip	to	vegas	.	zack	(	mohr	)	and	adam	(	wolf	)	are	soap	opera	stars	escaping	a	career	threatening	conviction	by	assisting	a	peculiar	cop	(	fichtner	)	in	a	drug	bust	.	perhaps	because	the	innovative	structure	of	tarantino's	non	linear	masterwork	is	by	now	old	hat	,	the	id	fueled	go	delighted	me	but	rarely	surprised	me	(	with	the	exception	of	that	mind	reading	cat	!	)	;	pulp	fiction	zigzagged	down	roads	unforeseen	,	but	we	see	go's	wheels	turning	from	its	first	flash	frame	to	the	last	.	torontonian	polley	(	of	the	sweet	hereafter	)	refused	to	do	publicity	for	this	picture	on	the	basis	that	she	was	"	not	pleased	with	"	her	turn	as	the	ill	fated	cashier	.	in	go	,	she	delivers	,	hands	down	,	her	best	performance	to	date	.	here's	an	(	overrated	)	actress	who	agreed	to	appear	on	the	poster	,	but	not	support	her	team	at	the	junket	or	in	interviews	;	this	sort	of	arrogance	is	commonplace	for	ms	.	polley	,	as	anyone	who	has	read	of	her	political	agenda	in	the	canadian	press	will	tell	you	.	if	she	doesn't	want	to	be	the	ingenue	of	the	moment	,	she	should	have	said	"	no	,	"	not	go	.	but	i	digress	.	go	is	a	fun	film	,	so	chipperly	depraved	one	can't	help	but	turn	off	his	moral	judgment	for	its	duration	and	enjoy	the	ride	.	in	that	sense	,	it's	a	departure	from	liman's	last	film	,	swingers	,	which	at	least	lectured	against	self	absorption	in	the	form	of	vince	vaughan's	trent	and	his	subtle	comeuppance	in	the	story's	clever	epilogue	(	which	has	been	aped	by	mcdonald's	for	their	latest	commercial	)	.	i	wish	i	cared	more	about	go's	characters	:	like	the	techno	music	they	listen	to	,	the	bands	of	anarchists	on	display	here	are	at	once	absorbing	and	vacuous	.	when	the	lights	came	up	and	stung	my	eyes	,	it	was	difficult	to	recall	what	about	it	entertained	me	.	yet	entertain	me	it	did	.	go	is	light	and	frothy	,	featuring	compelling	if	not	endearing	work	by	polley	,	timothy	olyphant	(	scream	2	)	,	and	especially	fichtner	,	whose	homoerotic	behavior	is	milked	for	effective	laughs	.	fichtner	is	a	character	actor	best	known	for	playing	backstabbers	(	in	heat	,	armageddon	,	and	others	)	;	his	previously	untapped	comic	abilities	shine	in	go	.	unlike	much	of	the	film	,	fichtner	is	unpredictable	.
pos	a	lot	of	times	a	three	star	film	will	be	my	favorite	.	they're	usually	the	kind	of	movie	i	can	watch	most	often	too	.	they're	usually	not	too	deep	,	allowing	for	semi	brainless	relaxation	,	and	at	the	same	time	,	not	too	dumb	.	men	in	black	is	a	four	star	three	star	film	.	(	hope	you	could	follow	that	one	)	men	in	black	doesn't	wait	to	get	to	the	fun	.	just	minutes	into	the	film	we	are	introduced	to	agent	kay	(	tommy	lee	jones	)	,	introduced	to	an	alien	,	and	introduced	to	the	the	awesome	memory	diminishing	tool	that	all	mib	agents	use	.	after	all	,	you	can't	have	alien	witnesses	running	around	with	that	kind	of	knowledge	can	you	?	men	in	black	is	,	of	course	,	the	organization	which	"	moniters	all	extra	terrestrial	activity	on	earth	"	.	nypd	officer	james	edwards	(	will	smith	)	,	is	on	a	routine	foot	chase	when	suddenly	the	no	good	punk	he's	chasing	starts	leaping	up	buildings	and	blinking	more	than	one	pair	of	eyes	.	the	alien	delivers	the	simple	message	that	the	world	is	going	to	end	,	and	with	that	,	dives	off	of	a	roof	.	naturally	nobody	believes	his	story	.	.	.	nobody	that	is	,	except	for	the	top	secret	organization	that	not	even	the	government	is	aware	of	.	edwards	then	meets	agent	kay	,	the	man	who	never	seems	to	crack	a	smile	,	and	is	introduced	to	the	mib	.	edwards	winds	up	joining	the	team	and	is	stripped	of	anything	that	can	point	back	to	him	(	birth	certificate	,	drivers	license	,	and	even	the	literal	removal	of	his	fingerprints	)	.	james	edwards	no	longer	exists	.	meet	agent	jay	.	agent	kay	takes	the	rookie	jay	under	his	wing	as	they	go	about	"	regular	"	duties	.	eventually	a	far	more	treacherous	event	comes	into	play	.	a	"	bug	"	has	landed	on	earth	and	is	going	to	wipe	out	mankind	if	these	two	don't	(	or	can't	)	stop	it	.	the	plot	isn't	exactly	clear	,	but	we	know	it	has	to	do	with	a	galaxy	as	big	as	a	jewel	or	marble	being	sought	after	on	earth	,	and	that	is	crucial	that	the	mib	find	it	before	the	"	bug	"	does	.	barry	sonnenfeld	,	who	also	did	the	addams	family	films	,	directs	this	nicely	.	it's	fun	,	it's	funny	,	it's	action	packed	.	a	nice	summer	blockbuster	as	it	rightfully	turned	out	to	be	.	this	is	one	of	those	movies	that	is	just	"	fun	"	and	can't	really	be	summed	up	any	nicer	or	clearer	.	will	smith	and	tommy	lee	jones	both	do	great	jobs	and	both	are	a	blast	to	watch	.	definitely	one	of	the	best	films	of	the	the	summer	of	'97	,	men	in	black	comes	highly	recommeded	from	me	!
pos	ironically	,	what	i	was	most	excited	about	seeing	in	patch	adams	is	what	eventually	left	me	feeling	cheated	by	it	in	the	end	.	after	seeing	the	trailers	,	i	knew	i	was	going	to	get	robin	williams	playing	that	lovably	sensitive	,	extremely	funny	man	,	that	shows	people	there's	more	to	life	.	you	know	,	the	guy	from	dead	poets	society	and	good	will	hunting	.	i	love	that	guy	;	probably	because	he	had	truly	inspired	me	before	.	and	things	were	going	so	well	for	the	first	two	thirds	of	this	movie	too	.	until	it	was	over	and	i	thought	to	myself	,	"	wait	,	i	think	i've	seen	this	movie	before	.	"	in	the	end	,	my	impression	of	patch	adams	is	that	is	has	some	really	funny	scenes	,	and	you	can't	help	but	fall	in	love	with	the	guy	when	he's	doing	all	of	these	great	things	,	a	lot	of	which	you	have	probably	seen	in	the	trailers	.	and	he	has	a	lot	to	teach	everyone	he	comes	into	contact	with	in	the	film	.	so	throughout	i'm	thinking	,	"	what	a	great	guy	;	i	wish	i	was	more	like	him	.	"	which	is	always	a	good	set	up	.	but	it	never	follows	through	.	the	dramatic	conclusion	falls	flat	,	and	based	on	a	true	story	or	not	,	the	plot	points	are	a	bit	cliched	.	patch	adams	is	a	comedy	,	but	more	appropriately	it	would	be	classified	as	an	inspirational	film	.	and	the	hallmark	of	the	inspirational	film	is	that	climactic	scene	at	the	end	where	the	inspirational	character	takes	a	stand	and	is	met	by	stiff	consequences	,	but	ultimately	we	realize	that	he	made	a	difference	.	you	see	it	in	dead	poets	society	in	the	"	oh	captain	,	my	captain	"	scene	.	in	patch	adams	though	,	it	never	comes	.	though	patch	does	take	an	emotional	stand	at	the	end	in	a	scene	that	tries	to	steal	the	emotion	of	a	film	like	dead	poets	society	,	i	don't	know	that	we're	convinced	that	he	truly	made	a	difference	.	he	is	a	great	guy	,	yes	,	but	maybe	not	great	enough	.
pos	the	australian	documentary	the	diplomat	gives	a	nearly	complete	overview	of	the	situation	in	east	timor	up	to	its	august	1999	elections	.	it	starts	with	the	historical	background	of	this	small	island's	tribulations	:	since	the	16th	century	until	1975	,	the	island	was	a	portuguese	colony	.	then	,	with	the	end	of	the	portuguese	revolution	,	east	timor	declared	its	independence	and	was	immediately	invaded	by	indonesia	,	its	giant	neighbor	.	the	focus	of	the	film	is	jos	ramos	horta	,	a	political	activist	who	represents	the	eastern	timorese	resistance	historic	leader	,	xanana	gusmao	,	who	was	imprisoned	in	indonesia	for	a	20	year	sentence	.	horta	is	a	1996	nobel	prize	winner	who	has	been	fighting	for	the	independence	of	this	little	known	island	for	24	years	.	the	most	compelling	aspect	of	the	film	is	its	ability	to	convey	how	the	tragic	events	of	east	timor	and	its	desperate	struggle	for	independence	have	been	largely	ignored	by	the	world	.	since	east	timor	has	no	army	to	support	its	claims	for	autonomy	,	horta	says	it	must	have	been	an	act	of	god	that	his	people	had	survived	.	horta's	life	is	that	of	a	peripatetic	fighter	who	is	exiled	from	the	country	the	independence	of	which	is	his	life	mission	.	the	challenge	of	horta's	mission	is	accentuated	by	the	fact	that	there	is	no	unity	among	the	leaders	of	east	timor	;	some	of	them	are	satisfied	by	living	in	a	country	annexed	to	its	oppressors	,	others	are	adamant	to	fight	for	complete	independence	till	the	end	.	the	film	follows	horta	,	almost	always	dog	tired	,	from	one	conference	on	the	east	timorese	crisis	to	another	and	intersperses	horta's	diplomatic	career	with	footage	of	hot	events	happening	in	east	timor	:	president	suharto	resigns	,	habibie	takes	his	place	,	nothing	changes	.	indonesia	itself	has	enough	to	worry	about	and	when	its	economic	crisis	reaches	the	bottom	of	the	barrel	,	indonesian	foreign	minister	ali	alatas	is	sent	to	deliver	to	the	world	promises	of	security	and	protection	for	east	timor	.	while	horta's	mother	,	natalina	,	recollects	how	indonesian	militia	attacked	her	residence	and	took	the	lives	of	her	children	,	the	actual	footage	testifies	the	acts	of	barbaric	genocide	that	took	place	on	the	island	.	the	film	hits	all	the	appropriate	strings	by	conveying	how	murder	,	torture	,	rape	,	all	kinds	of	physical	,	sexual	,	and	psychological	violations	have	been	the	daily	life	of	the	people	of	east	timor	.	it	clearly	exemplifies	the	frightening	hypocrisy	of	the	indonesian	government	which	declares	the	crisis	stable	while	more	and	more	people	are	being	brutally	executed	.	unfortunately	,	up	until	the	depiction	of	the	1999	democratic	election	in	east	timor	,	the	film	more	or	less	plods	along	.	it	is	only	then	that	the	film	picks	up	the	pace	by	showing	that	just	four	hours	after	the	official	announcement	,	the	defeated	militia	gangs	start	to	set	east	timor	on	fire	.	there	is	a	moment	of	almost	sublime	irony	when	president	bill	clinton	visits	indonesia	with	the	intention	to	stop	the	genocide	and	bring	un	peacekeeping	forces	to	the	country	.	he	is	greeted	with	a	military	ceremony	that	,	in	my	opinion	,	signifies	the	irreconcilable	difference	between	the	east	and	the	west	.	ironically	,	the	portrait	of	jos	ramos	horta	,	an	indefatigable	fighter	who	broke	the	silence	about	east	timor	in	the	(	disinterested	)	western	press	,	doesn't	come	out	as	memorable	or	inspiring	.	unquestionably	,	the	film	is	very	effective	and	involving	due	to	its	subject	matter	,	without	a	mawkish	triumph	of	the	human	spirit	agenda	being	pushed	.	but	what	should	have	been	a	celebration	of	human	tenacity	comes	out	as	an	intelligent	film	,	though	with	a	somewhat	insipid	portrayal	of	its	hero	.
pos	apt	pupil	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	"	wchamber	netcom	.	ca	a	)	(	visit	my	review	archive	,	play	some	movie	trivia	,	and	more	!	film	freak	central	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	"	http	:	www	.	geocities	.	com	billchambers	a	)	starring	brad	renfro	,	ian	mckellan	,	elias	koteas	,	david	schwimmer	screenplay	by	brandon	boyce	,	based	on	the	novella	by	stephen	king	directed	by	bryan	singer	"	no	man	is	an	island	,	"	one	character	quotes	john	donne	in	apt	pupil	,	effectively	summarizing	the	movie's	themes	.	while	hardly	a	great	film	,	singer's	ambitious	adaptation	of	king's	short	story	is	challenging	nonetheless	;	perhaps	the	most	shocking	aspect	of	this	inclement	psychological	thriller	is	that	a	major	studio	got	behind	it	.	apt	pupil	is	a	bleak	picture	destined	to	be	misunderstood	by	the	masses	.	1984	.	wonder	bred	high	school	honours	student	todd	bowden	(	renfro	)	conducts	his	own	extracurricular	investigation	of	kurt	dussander	,	a	nazi	war	criminal	who	fearfully	fled	berlin	in	the	1960s	and	was	never	heard	from	again	.	bowden	suspects	arthur	denker	(	mckellan	)	,	the	lonely	german	senior	citizen	who	lives	nearby	,	is	actually	a	pseudonymous	dussander	much	research	and	dusting	for	fingerprints	proves	young	todd's	theory	.	bowden	strikes	a	deal	with	dussander	:	in	exchange	for	not	revealing	his	identity	,	dussander	must	satisfy	bowden's	intense	curiosity	by	recounting	the	atrocities	of	the	holocaust	from	the	nazi	point	of	view	.	the	stories	he	hears	keep	todd	up	at	night	and	haunt	his	daydreams	,	but	like	a	bystander	at	a	traffic	accident	,	todd's	desire	for	gory	details	overrides	his	repulsion	.	bowden	revives	in	dussander	feelings	dormant	since	the	end	of	wwii	.	marching	in	a	mock	uniform	around	his	kitchen	is	wholly	cathartic	for	dussander	:	it	leads	to	his	torture	of	a	cat	and	the	torment	of	his	"	student	"	,	among	other	things	.	bowden	,	who	has	taken	on	very	hateful	qualities	(	he	kills	birds	and	doodles	swastikas	on	his	notebook	)	,	engages	the	veteran	in	an	endless	game	of	one	upmanship	.	dussander	stands	to	lose	his	freedom	,	and	bowden	his	credibility	in	effect	,	his	post	secondary	school	future	.	all	of	this	winds	down	to	a	fairly	unpredictable	(	and	unsettling	)	conclusion	,	one	which	requires	leaps	of	faith	from	its	audience	yet	is	more	satisfying	than	the	source	material's	excessive	climax	.	singer	has	yet	to	get	keyser	sze	out	of	his	system	.	his	the	usual	suspects	and	apt	pupil	are	both	about	evil	masquerading	as	innocence	(	verbal's	tics	and	todd's	golden	boy	reputation	are	plausible	ruses	)	;	they	showcase	morally	bankrupt	anti	heroes	to	whom	telling	the	truth	is	not	an	option	if	they	are	to	achieve	their	goals	.	apt	pupil	is	a	richer	film	than	the	usual	suspects	,	a	movie	famous	and	popular	partly	because	its	plot	machinations	were	not	germane	to	the	outcome	there	was	no	way	you	could	see	the	ending	coming	,	as	it	was	all	a	hoodwink	,	anyway	.	thankfully	,	singer	has	gotten	most	of	the	usual	suspects'	film	schoolish	geek	theatrics	out	of	his	system	.	some	scenes	in	apt	pupil	feel	overdirected	and	or	obvious	(	the	dream	sequences	were	extraneous	)	,	but	the	majority	of	the	film	is	subdued	and	singer's	handling	of	the	violent	scenes	is	boldly	restrained	for	a	film	about	a	murderer	and	a	murderer	in	training	.	mckellan's	and	renfro's	performances	contribute	enormously	to	the	overall	success	of	the	film	;	while	most	people	will	focus	on	british	stage	vet	mckellan's	finely	tuned	realization	,	i'd	like	to	single	out	renfro's	daring	work	.	he	isn't	afraid	to	play	someone	largely	unappealing	and	cold	hearted	;	he	strips	his	character	of	vanity	,	something	many	of	his	peers	wouldn't	do	.	(	can	you	picture	kieran	culkin	or	jonathan	taylor	thomas	in	the	same	role	?	)	renfro	was	recently	charged	with	possession	of	cocaine	i	hope	he	doesn't	continue	down	that	path	,	because	he	has	a	big	future	in	good	movies	waiting	for	him	.	as	guidance	counsellor	edward	french	,	"	friend	"	schwimmer	also	deserves	mention	.	he	wants	to	be	the	parent	to	todd	that	todd's	own	well	to	do	folks	are	not	(	todd	,	like	most	modern	kids	and	only	children	has	mom	and	dad	wrapped	around	his	pinky	finger	)	,	and	his	sincerity	makes	the	apt	pupil's	blackening	heart	even	more	apparent	.	but	one	of	the	film's	ultimate	questions	,	are	we	born	evil	or	do	we	learn	evil	?	,	might	be	answered	in	french	,	whose	motives	are	the	slightest	bit	ambiguous	.	no	man	is	an	island	,	indeed	we	all	have	the	capacity	to	make	the	"	right	"	or	the	"	wrong	"	choices	.	schwimmer	winningly	plays	one	of	a	trio	of	fascinating	characters	who	make	the	unconventional	apt	pupil	laudible	.
pos	starring	:	gwyneth	paltrow	,	john	hannah	,	john	lynch	,	jeanne	tripplehorningredients	:	london	gal	,	fate	,	true	love	,	running	joke	about	monty	python's	spanish	inquisition	sliding	doors	is	a	love	'what	if'	story	.	the	gimmick	is	that	it's	really	two	stories	:	the	film	follows	the	life	of	helen	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	down	two	directions	.	in	the	beginning	,	likeable	gal	'helen'	(	gwyneth	paltrow	)	gets	unexpectedly	fired	from	her	advertising	job	.	so	she	goes	into	the	subway	train	station	meaning	to	return	home	early	to	her	apartment	and	her	sleeping	live	in	lover	gerry	(	john	lynch	)	.	helen	doesn't	know	it	,	but	she	is	at	a	fateful	junction	in	life	:	1	)	if	she	enters	through	the	sliding	door	of	a	london	subway	train	her	life	takes	one	path	with	one	future	2	)	if	she	stays	on	the	platform	her	life	takes	another	path	with	a	different	future	.	the	film	shows	what	happens	in	both	paths	,	switching	back	and	forth	between	intertwined	,	parallel	stories	.	in	story	one	,	helen	meets	a	charming	and	talkative	monty	python	fan	named	james	(	john	hannah	)	on	the	train	.	arriving	home	early	,	she	discovers	that	her	live	in	,	gerry	(	john	lynch	)	,	is	having	sex	with	his	former	lover	lydia	(	jeanne	tripplehorn	)	.	this	leads	to	a	life	where	helen	moves	out	.	helen's	winsome	new	friend	james	helps	her	recover	from	a	broken	heart	,	and	encourages	her	to	start	her	own	business	.	in	story	two	,	helen	experiences	a	different	fate	.	she	misses	the	train	,	never	meets	james	,	and	doesn't	get	home	early	enough	to	discover	gerry's	infidelity	.	in	this	new	life	,	helen	takes	up	odd	menial	jobs	,	and	faces	the	constant	sneaking	suspicion	that	all	is	not	right	with	her	relationship	with	gerry	.	will	the	truth	of	the	heart	finally	work	its	way	through	a	number	of	problems	and	setbacks	in	both	scenarios	?	opinion	:	rejoice	all	ye	monty	python	fans	,	gwyneth	paltrow	fans	,	and	watchers	of	quirky	romance	flicks	.	at	last	here's	proof	that	there's	still	creativity	in	1990s	filmmaking	.	sliding	doors	is	refreshingly	different	from	anything	this	year	.	not	only	is	it	a	well	acted	,	heartwarming	film	,	but	it's	also	easily	gwyneth	paltrow's	best	recent	performance	.	when	helen	(	paltrow	)	screams	that	her	unfaithful	boyfriend	is	a	'shagging	wanker	,	'	(	a	british	phrase	better	left	untranslated	)	she	sounds	like	she	knows	what	she's	talking	about	!	nor	does	sliding	doors	go	overboard	with	formulaic	true	love	or	other	stereotypes	.	nobody	scrambles	around	in	danger	,	screaming	,	"	i	will	find	you	no	matter	what	,	my	darling	!	"	when	helen	finds	herself	on	a	boat	in	the	starlight	with	james	,	she	doesn't	take	the	easy	way	out	and	leap	into	his	arms	,	since	she's	supposed	to	be	recovering	from	heartache	.	and	handsome	live	in	boyfriend	gerry	isn't	the	stereotypical	screen	hunk	(	either	a	stud	or	a	snob	)	.	instead	he's	a	nervous	and	indecisive	,	almost	helpless	hunk	.	another	example	:	when	one	of	the	protagonists	lies	wounded	in	a	hospital	,	sliding	doors	gives	us	neither	the	'hospital	miracle'	nor	a	maudlin	tragedy	but	surprises	us	with	a	third	variation	.	in	other	words	,	all	of	the	characters	seem	non	stereotyped	,	human	,	and	local	.	there	are	minor	inconveniences	.	since	sliding	doors	switches	back	and	forth	between	two	possible	fates	,	it's	occasionally	difficult	to	distinguish	between	the	two	.	distinguishing	between	the	two	stories	isn't	a	problem	in	the	scenes	containing	paltrow	,	who	sports	two	different	hairstyles	.	but	in	scenes	containing	only	lydia	and	gerry	,	who	look	the	same	in	both	stories	,	it's	slightly	confusing	.	also	,	quite	a	few	snappy	comebacks	referring	to	american	pop	culture	(	seinfeld	,	woody	allen	,	etc	.	)	are	spoken	by	the	british	characters	.	but	these	seem	slightly	forced	,	given	that	the	remaining	dialogue	is	predominantly	british	slang	.	possibly	an	attempt	by	the	screenwriter	to	balance	the	british	so	that	american	audiences	can	feel	more	comfortable	?	sliding	doors	is	a	charming	,	quirky	,	original	,	happy	romance	with	a	little	'philosophy	of	fate'	thrown	in	.	monty	python	and	the	meaning	of	fate	,	anybody	?
pos	directed	by	robert	rodriguez	.	cast	:	elijah	wood	,	josh	hartnett	,	clea	duvall	,	shawn	hatosy	,	jordanna	brewster	,	laura	harris	,	robert	patrick	,	bebe	neuwirth	,	famke	janssen	,	piper	laurie	,	jon	stewart	,	salma	hayek	,	christopher	mcdonald	,	usher	raymond	,	susan	willis	,	daniel	von	bargen	,	louis	black	,	megan	gallagher	,	joe	hatton	,	harry	knowles	,	duane	martin	,	jason	d	.	may	,	katherine	willis	,	summer	phoenx	.	1998	101	minutes	.	rated	r	(	for	violence	,	gore	,	profanity	,	nudity	,	and	drug	use	)	.	reviewed	december	27	,	1998	.	"	the	faculty	,	"	the	heavily	hyped	and	advertised	sci	fi	horror	film	that	has	teamed	up	director	robert	rodriguez	(	1995's	"	desperado	"	and	1996's	"	from	dusk	till	dawn	"	)	and	screenwriter	kevin	williamson	(	1996's	"	scream	"	and	1997's	"	scream	2	"	)	,	is	being	called	a	cross	between	"	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	"	and	"	the	breakfast	club	,	"	and	i	don't	think	i	could	describe	it	any	better	than	that	.	the	film	sets	up	the	six	central	teenage	characters	who	do	not	seem	to	have	much	in	common	,	and	then	the	science	fiction	aspect	is	added	,	involving	the	fear	that	the	faculty	at	herrington	high	school	are	actually	aliens	who	are	quickly	transforming	everyone	in	the	town	.	the	six	characters	,	as	in	"	the	breakfast	club	,	"	can	be	easily	labeled	as	a	stereotype	,	but	as	they	are	developed	,	they	become	far	more	complex	:	casey	(	elijah	wood	)	,	the	much	picked	upon	nerd	;	stokely	(	clea	duvall	)	,	a	goth	outcast	who	hides	behind	the	false	facade	of	being	a	lesbian	so	everyone	will	avoid	her	;	zeke	(	josh	hartnett	)	,	a	drug	dealer	who	turns	out	to	be	a	science	whiz	;	stan	(	shawn	hatosy	)	,	the	star	football	quarterback	who	is	considering	quitting	the	team	to	concentrate	more	on	academics	;	delilah	(	jordanna	brewster	)	,	the	popular	cheerleader	and	newspaper	journalist	;	and	marybeth	(	laura	harris	)	,	the	sweet	'n	southern	new	girl	in	town	.	although	the	characters	are	only	slightly	connected	(	i	.	e	.	casey	is	delilah's	photojournalist	assistant	;	marybeth	tries	to	become	buddies	with	stokely	,	since	they	both	don't	have	friends	,	etc	.	)	,	when	they	all	begin	to	suspect	the	teachers	due	to	some	grotesque	and	strange	occurrences	,	the	only	people	they	can	count	on	for	help	is	each	other	,	even	though	they	aren't	really	even	sure	if	they	can	trust	one	another	.	"	the	faculty	"	is	another	smart	and	pop	culturally	hip	film	from	williamson	,	although	it	does	not	equal	up	to	his	best	film	,	the	original	"	scream	,	"	and	rodriguez	,	whose	"	from	dusk	till	dawn	"	is	still	one	of	the	more	original	genre	films	of	the	90's	.	williamson	and	rodriguez	are	so	assured	at	their	professions	,	respectively	,	that	the	idea	of	teaming	up	together	is	pretty	much	a	no	brainer	.	the	plotline	of	"	the	faculty	,	"	involving	aliens	taking	over	other	people's	bodies	,	has	been	done	quite	a	lot	before	,	from	"	invasion	of	the	body	snatchers	,	"	to	"	the	puppet	masters	,	"	to	"	invaders	from	mars	,	"	so	one	of	the	obstacles	that	williamson	and	rodriguez	had	to	overcome	was	to	somehow	make	the	idea	seem	fresh	,	and	by	setting	the	goings	on	at	a	high	school	and	having	the	protagonists	be	a	group	of	teens	,	they	were	mostly	successful	.	surely	,	the	conventions	of	the	story	are	still	the	same	,	and	the	climax	was	inevitable	,	but	there	were	a	few	surprises	along	the	way	,	including	the	question	of	who	were	the	aliens	,	and	who	weren't	.	the	epilogue	was	also	a	refreshing	change	of	pace	as	it	did	not	set	up	a	sequel	but	ended	on	a	note	that	probably	could	not	have	been	any	better	.	the	performances	in	"	the	faculty	"	were	a	treat	throughout	,	since	there	were	so	many	recognizable	actors	in	roles	that	were	the	polar	opposite	of	what	they	usually	do	.	one	exception	were	the	teens	,	who	,	aside	from	elijah	wood	,	are	not	very	well	known	,	but	they	all	aquit	themselves	nicely	,	particularly	wood	(	the	seasoned	pro	)	,	clea	duvall	,	and	jordanna	brewster	.	as	members	of	the	faculty	,	robert	patrick	(	"	t2	:	judgement	day	"	)	was	creepy	as	the	gym	coach	;	piper	laurie	was	amusing	and	threatening	as	the	drama	teacher	;	bebe	neuwirth	actually	was	somehow	able	to	look	like	an	alien	;	and	salma	hayek	,	as	the	school	nurse	with	a	bad	case	of	the	cold	,	was	very	funny	in	a	small	role	.	the	standout	,	in	my	opinion	,	of	the	whole	cast	was	famke	janssen	who	turns	in	an	oddly	touching	performance	as	the	shy	and	meek	english	teacher	who	,	after	turning	into	an	alien	,	becomes	the	sex	bombshell	.	if	there	was	any	problem	i	had	with	the	faculty	,	it	was	that	some	of	them	were	given	no	real	payoff	in	the	climactic	sequence	.	since	the	teenagers	realize	that	in	order	to	save	everyone	they	must	kill	the	"	queen	"	alien	,	many	of	the	faculty	members	disappear	.	it	might	have	been	more	fun	if	they	had	to	face	every	one	of	the	teachers	,	although	the	finale	is	still	pretty	impressive	,	and	includes	some	showstopping	creature	effects	,	especially	for	a	relatively	low	15	million	dollar	budget	.	although	not	one	of	the	best	horror	or	science	fiction	films	i	have	seen	,	"	the	faculty	"	is	still	an	exciting	and	worthy	film	that	dimension	films	was	smart	to	release	around	the	holiday	season	when	this	type	of	genre	offering	is	usually	not	released	.	while	the	story	is	as	old	as	the	hills	,	it	is	also	,	in	a	way	,	timeless	,	because	everyone	,	i	think	,	has	suspected	at	one	time	or	another	that	a	certain	person	simply	did	not	act	right	,	as	if	they	really	weren't	human	.	and	by	putting	this	idea	in	the	setting	of	a	small	town	high	school	,	it	perfectly	contrasts	with	the	alienation	that	most	teenagers	usually	go	through	when	relating	to	adults	and	other	peers	.	note	:	the	ad	and	poster	campaign	for	this	film	is	hugely	misleading	,	as	it	features	r	b	artist	usher	raymond	as	one	of	the	main	characters	.	in	actuality	,	he	only	has	a	small	role	as	one	of	stan's	buddies	who	becomes	quarterback	after	stan	resigns	from	the	team	.	if	i	were	one	of	the	heads	from	dimension	,	i	would	change	this	advertising	at	once	,	since	it	is	unnecessary	and	rather	deceiving	.	copyright	1998	by	dustin	putman	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	filmfan16	index	.	html	"	dustin	putman's	film	reviews	a
pos	cast	:	pam	grier	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	robert	forster	,	bridget	fonda	,	michael	keaton	,	robert	de	niro	,	chris	tucker	director	:	quentin	tarantino	producer	:	lawrence	bender	screenplay	:	quentin	tarantino	,	based	on	the	book	rum	punch	by	elmore	leonard	cinematography	:	guillermo	navarro	u	.	s	.	distributor	:	miramax	films	it	has	been	three	long	years	since	quentin	tarantino	stunned	the	cinema	world	by	claiming	the	cannes	film	festival's	palme	d'or	,	a	100	million	plus	box	office	gross	,	and	an	oscar	nomination	all	for	his	sophomore	outing	,	pulp	fiction	.	since	then	,	the	talented	film	maker	has	been	virtually	invisible	,	surfacing	briefly	as	a	co	director	of	the	wildly	uneven	four	rooms	and	the	screenwriter	of	the	gory	vampire	fest	,	from	dusk	till	dawn	.	in	between	,	he	has	moonlighted	as	an	"	actor	"	with	several	decidedly	unmemorable	performances	.	now	,	with	much	fanfare	and	anticipation	,	tarantino	has	returned	with	his	third	directorial	effort	,	jackie	brown	.	and	,	while	this	motion	picture	,	adapted	from	elmore	leonard's	novel	,	rum	punch	,	offers	solid	entertainment	,	those	expecting	another	bravura	outing	from	tarantino	will	leave	theaters	disappointed	.	for	the	most	part	,	jackie	brown	is	a	pretty	ordinary	crime	movie	.	the	story	,	which	starts	out	slowly	,	develops	into	a	twisty	affair	,	with	double	crosses	and	triple	crosses	.	and	the	movie	is	littered	with	occasional	tarantino	trademarks	:	witty	dialogue	,	unexpected	gunfire	,	'70s	pop	tunes	,	and	close	ups	of	womens'	bare	feet	.	yet	,	for	all	of	that	,	the	production	is	something	of	a	letdown	.	the	sheer	,	in	your	face	exuberance	that	marked	reservoir	dogs	and	especially	pulp	fiction	is	absent	.	the	mostly	straightforward	chronology	of	jackie	brown	doesn't	match	up	favorably	to	the	non	linear	style	of	tarantino's	previous	efforts	an	approach	that	added	tension	and	edginess	to	the	narratives	.	and	there	aren't	nearly	as	many	deliciously	offbeat	conversations	this	time	around	.	there's	a	samuel	l	.	jackson	monologue	about	guns	,	a	jackson	chris	tucker	argument	regarding	the	merits	of	hiding	in	a	car	trunk	,	and	a	jackson	robert	de	niro	exchange	that	recalls	some	of	the	jackson	travolta	material	from	pulp	fiction	,	but	that's	about	it	.	jackie	brown's	lone	"	innovation	"	is	its	presentation	of	a	crucial	sequence	from	three	different	perspectives	.	this	isn't	exactly	an	original	technique	it	has	been	done	numerous	times	before	,	most	famously	in	akira	kurosawa's	rashomon	and	most	recently	in	edward	zwick's	courage	under	fire	.	however	,	while	in	those	two	movies	(	and	others	)	,	there	was	a	legitimate	plot	reason	for	the	multiple	points	of	view	,	tarantino's	sole	purpose	for	using	it	appears	to	be	because	it's	unconventional	.	had	the	scenes	in	question	been	shown	from	only	one	of	the	three	vantages	,	nothing	would	have	been	lost	.	as	a	result	,	this	aspect	of	the	film	is	little	more	than	a	curiosity	.	for	the	second	picture	in	a	row	,	tarantino	is	attempting	to	revive	the	career	of	a	'70s	icon	.	this	time	around	,	instead	of	john	travolta	,	it's	blaxploitation	queen	pam	grier	(	foxy	brown	has	become	jackie	brown	)	.	in	one	of	many	nods	to	the	most	famous	segment	of	grier's	career	,	tarantino	uses	a	'70s	song	to	accompany	her	first	appearance	during	the	opening	credits	.	there	are	also	several	instances	during	jackie	brown	when	the	director	offers	a	sly	wink	towards	certain	conventions	of	the	blaxploitation	genre	(	although	grier	never	does	any	butt	kicking	)	.	grier	is	jackie	brown	,	a	flight	attendant	who	gets	caught	transporting	drugs	and	money	into	the	united	states	.	she's	working	for	gun	dealer	ordell	robbie	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	but	she	keeps	her	mouth	shut	under	questioning	,	despite	pressure	from	ray	nicolet	(	michael	keaton	)	,	a	federal	official	.	no	longer	sure	whether	or	not	he	can	trust	jackie	,	ordell	arranges	for	a	bail	bondsman	,	max	cherry	(	robert	forster	,	tv's	"	banyon	"	)	to	post	the	necessary	10	,	000	,	then	plans	to	shoot	jackie	if	she	proves	disloyal	.	jackie	passes	ordell's	test	,	however	,	and	soon	the	two	of	them	are	plotting	a	way	to	smuggle	500	,	000	of	ordell's	money	into	the	united	states	without	tipping	off	the	feds	.	soon	,	just	about	everyone	is	after	that	money	,	including	jackie	,	max	,	ray	,	ordell's	perpetually	oversexed	and	drugged	out	girlfriend	,	melanie	(	bridget	fonda	)	,	and	his	right	hand	man	,	louis	(	robert	de	niro	)	.	unsurprisingly	,	the	most	memorable	performance	is	turned	in	by	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	but	ordell	isn't	nearly	as	invigorating	or	compelling	a	character	as	jules	from	pulp	fiction	.	in	addition	to	looking	fantastic	,	pam	grier	is	also	quite	good	,	although	hers	is	not	an	oscar	caliber	performance	(	although	she	might	get	a	nomination	)	.	robert	forster	and	michael	keaton	are	solid	in	their	tough	guys	who	rarely	smile	roles	.	bridget	fonda	is	around	for	three	discernible	reasons	:	to	look	sexy	in	a	bikini	,	to	provide	a	little	twisted	comedy	,	and	to	satisfy	tarantino's	foot	fetish	.	robert	de	niro	is	criminally	underused	in	a	part	that	could	have	been	played	equally	well	by	any	grungy	looking	,	middle	aged	actor	.	the	film	,	which	clocks	in	at	several	minutes	over	the	two	and	a	half	hour	mark	,	is	probably	too	long	for	the	material	,	but	the	plot	is	convoluted	enough	to	keep	us	guessing	throughout	(	although	the	payoff	is	a	letdown	)	.	tarantino	keeps	things	moving	along	nicely	,	with	a	heavier	dose	of	humor	and	less	violence	than	in	pulp	fiction	,	but	,	on	the	whole	,	this	movie	seems	more	like	the	work	of	one	of	his	wannabes	than	something	from	the	director	himself	.	when	it	comes	to	recent	caper	films	(	like	the	grifters	and	bound	)	,	jackie	brown	is	a	second	tier	effort	.	it's	an	entertaining	diversion	,	but	not	a	masterpiece	,	and	certainly	not	an	oscar	contender	.
pos	on	re	watching	italian	writer	director	dario	argento's	much	lauded	murder	mystery	tenebrae	,	i	was	struck	more	than	anything	else	by	how	many	sins	he	commits	as	a	storyteller	and	manages	to	get	away	with	.	in	emphasising	style	over	matters	of	plot	argento	is	somewhat	notorious	in	cult	film	circles	,	but	some	aficionados	still	praise	tenebrae	as	the	greatest	of	his	"	giallo	"	murder	mysteries	.	while	it's	certainly	not	perfect	,	repeated	viewings	reveal	it	to	be	nonetheless	a	densely	plotted	and	terrifically	stylish	thriller	.	the	story	follows	a	promotional	visit	to	rome	by	famous	american	mystery	novelist	peter	neal	(	anthony	franciosa	)	where	he	discovers	that	a	serial	killer	is	on	the	loose	inspired	by	his	latest	book	"	tenebrae	"	.	with	the	police	on	his	back	for	leads	,	he	decides	to	take	a	personal	interest	in	the	case	and	he	soon	becomes	drawn	into	a	mystery	where	all	is	not	as	it	seems	.	the	film	benefits	enormously	from	a	fine	central	performance	by	franciosa	.	he	brings	grace	,	charm	and	a	deceptive	benigness	to	his	character	which	provides	an	interesting	foil	to	both	the	violence	of	the	books	he	writes	and	the	unfolding	real	life	horror	around	him	.	the	film	is	awash	with	a	fascinating	psychosexual	tension	.	argento	peels	back	the	facade	of	showbiz	and	jetset	lifestyles	to	reveal	an	amoral	,	ambivalent	,	shadowy	world	where	desire	in	all	its	forms	has	become	a	dangerous	business	.	tenebrae	is	perhaps	the	most	multi	layered	of	argento's	scripts	to	date	and	there	is	much	bubbling	underneath	the	surface	here	.	it	may	take	at	least	two	or	three	viewings	to	appreciate	all	the	psychological	themes	at	play	.	in	that	respect	it	strongly	recalls	his	previous	giallo	deep	red	profondo	rosso	(	the	full	length	italian	language	version	)	and	fans	will	enjoy	spotting	the	recurring	themes	.	needless	to	say	for	argento	fans	,	there	is	no	denying	the	director's	brilliance	as	a	stylist	.	many	of	the	action	and	murder	sequences	are	directed	with	his	characteristic	finesse	and	feature	plenty	of	intriguing	camerawork	.	they	are	all	the	more	impressive	for	the	fact	that	in	this	film	argento	creates	mood	by	filling	his	scenes	with	light	,	rather	than	the	dark	shadows	and	deep	rich	colours	of	earlier	works	like	deep	red	and	suspiria	.	instead	,	tenebrae's	set	design	and	lighting	paints	a	sleek	,	clinical	,	chilly	vision	of	a	vaguely	futuristic	urban	world	.	and	the	soundtrack's	mix	of	electronic	atmospheres	and	gothic	rock	by	frequent	argento	collaborators	goblin	is	the	perfect	accompaniment	.	so	tenebrae	has	much	to	recommend	it	,	no	question	.	still	,	constantly	nagging	at	the	back	of	this	viewers	mind	is	several	lumps	in	the	narrative	.	some	critics	argue	that	logic	doesn't	matter	in	argento	films	,	but	damnit	,	it	matters	in	all	films	to	the	point	where	viewers	don't	deserve	to	feel	cheated	.	by	the	way	,	if	you	don't	want	to	know	the	solution	to	the	mystery	then	skip	the	next	three	paragraphs	.	about	an	hour	into	tenebrae	the	story	takes	an	unexpected	twist	which	,	properly	handled	,	could	have	proved	ingenious	.	we	witness	the	murder	of	the	serial	killer	himself	by	a	man	who	,	we	later	discover	,	is	none	other	than	the	author	peter	neal	.	he	is	insane	,	apparently	.	the	murders	then	continue	for	the	remainder	of	the	film	as	neal	decides	it's	time	to	settle	some	personal	business	involving	his	neurotic	wife	.	he	is	finally	revealed	to	us	as	this	"	second	killer	"	in	the	film's	bloody	climax	.	but	argento	muffs	the	twist	,	both	technically	and	narratively	.	you	see	,	we	are	supposed	to	be	tricked	into	thinking	that	during	this	scene	peter	neal	is	actually	an	innocent	witness	who	was	crouching	in	the	bushes	nearby	the	whole	time	and	spying	on	the	killer's	house	.	but	thanks	to	poor	editing	,	its	had	to	believe	neal	could	have	murdered	the	killer	anyway	.	bad	cutting	puts	the	timing	way	out	.	in	other	words	,	he's	almost	in	two	places	at	once	.	during	this	crucial	scene	we	are	also	thrown	a	ridiculous	red	herring	.	by	the	film's	end	you	realise	that	for	the	sake	of	an	alibi	neal	must	have	self	inflicted	a	nasty	injury	in	this	earlier	scene	to	make	it	look	like	he	was	attacked	by	a	fleeing	assailant	.	the	injury	?	he	banged	himself	on	the	head	with	a	bloody	great	rock	!	thus	,	the	revelation	of	the	"	hero	"	as	a	killer	(	and	anti	hero	)	in	the	final	scenes	may	still	prove	shocking	,	but	its	all	somewhat	implausible	by	the	time	the	end	credits	have	rolled	.	helpfully	,	in	the	end	we	do	learn	that	the	bizarre	flashbacks	of	personal	humiliation	and	murder	that	have	permeated	the	film	belonged	to	neal	all	along	.	but	there	too	is	a	problem	,	as	the	explanations	offered	for	his	motivations	are	psychologically	fuzzy	to	say	the	least	.	the	story	owes	us	a	better	understanding	of	franciosa's	mind	,	his	concealed	madness	and	his	sudden	murderous	rampage	.	tenebrae	is	also	marred	by	annoying	little	inconsistencies	.	for	instance	,	a	teenage	boy	and	girl	leave	a	hotel	room	and	minutes	later	we	see	the	girl	riding	off	on	the	back	of	a	motorbike	.	we	would	assume	the	rider	is	the	same	boy	,	but	it	turns	out	to	be	some	male	character	we	aren't	even	introduced	too	!	that's	careless	filmmaking	,	pure	and	simple	.	why	,	you	may	ask	,	do	i	go	on	about	the	story's	flaws	?	because	when	it	comes	to	visuals	and	set	pieces	,	argento	is	one	of	the	most	exciting	filmmakers	in	the	world	.	take	one	of	the	extended	scenes	in	tenebrae	.	an	upset	girl	wandering	the	streets	at	night	needlessly	taunts	a	guard	dog	to	the	point	where	almost	unbelievably	it	jumps	a	high	fence	and	chases	her	across	town	.	finally	,	as	she	desperately	seeks	escape	from	this	crazed	canine	,	she	accidentally	stumbles	on	the	serial	killer's	lair	.	it's	an	absolutely	masterful	sequence	,	tense	and	exciting	,	and	communicating	a	wealth	of	information	through	visuals	alone	.	and	that's	exactly	the	kind	of	thing	that	makes	the	flaws	so	frustrating	.	too	often	,	it	seems	,	argento's	films	as	a	whole	are	less	than	the	sum	of	their	impressive	parts	.	mind	you	,	if	you	love	murder	mysteries	then	tenebrae	is	still	worth	a	look	.	and	if	you're	a	fan	of	argento's	unique	style	of	giallo	thriller	then	it's	essential	.	see	the	uncut	widescreen	version	if	you	can	and	drink	in	some	of	the	wonderful	cinematography	by	luciano	tovoli	.	it's	a	stylish	,	great	looking	and	quirky	film	despite	the	problem	narrative	.	a	shame	,	because	it	doesn't	have	to	be	that	way	.	take	argento's	more	recent	stendhal	syndrome	(	1992	)	,	where	with	the	aid	of	co	writer	franco	ferrini	he	fashioned	a	solid	storyline	without	sacrificing	any	of	his	surreal	weirdness	or	visual	panache	.	proof	that	he	can	do	it	,	if	he	tries	.	.	.
pos	drew	barrymore	has	had	a	very	good	year	.	first	,	she	did	the	wedding	singer	with	adam	sandler	,	and	then	she	carried	her	own	movie	,	ever	after	.	both	were	huge	winners	at	the	box	office	.	now	she	brings	us	home	fries	,	a	romantic	comedy	costarring	catherine	o'hara	and	luke	wilson	.	luke	wilson	isn't	the	biggest	name	in	hollywood	or	anything	,	but	he	is	still	a	good	actor	.	he	and	barrymore	are	dating	in	real	life	,	after	meeting	on	the	set	of	this	cute	movie	.	barrymore	stars	as	sally	,	a	worker	at	a	restaurant	called	burger	matic	.	she	is	pregnant	from	the	affair	she	had	with	a	man	named	henry	.	henry's	son	,	dorian	(	luke	wilson	)	,	and	his	other	son	,	angus	(	jake	busey	)	,	accidentally	kill	their	father	by	giving	him	a	heart	attack	.	their	mother	put	them	up	to	this	because	he	had	an	affair	with	another	woman	.	on	the	radio	in	the	helicopter	,	they	hear	fast	food	workers	on	interference	and	figure	that	they	know	.	so	,	dorian	gets	a	job	at	burger	matic	,	the	same	place	where	sally	works	,	the	woman	who	had	an	affair	with	his	father	.	ok	,	right	now	,	you	are	probably	very	lost	,	but	so	was	i	.	as	the	movie	goes	on	,	dorian	and	sally	fall	in	love	,	not	knowing	that	sally	is	also	in	love	with	dorian's	father	.	when	dorian's	mother	(	catherine	o'hara	)	commands	angus	and	dorian	to	kill	sally	,	(	she	finds	out	from	pictures	who	the	woman	is	)	dorian	must	stop	them	before	the	love	of	his	life	is	killed	.	home	fries	has	a	very	weird	and	original	plot	,	not	like	any	other	movie	i	have	ever	seen	.	that	really	boosts	a	movie	to	a	high	level	.	drew	barrymore	gives	an	outstanding	performance	,	her	best	since	scream	.	this	movie	should	boost	luke	wilson	to	a	star	level	.	catherine	o'hara	gives	a	very	fake	performance	that	was	hard	to	believe	.	jake	busey	was	very	annoying	and	i	wanted	him	to	go	away	.	shelley	duvall	did	great	,	and	you	really	believed	how	her	character	was	feeling	.	home	fries	was	also	suspenseful	in	it's	own	way	.	i	wanted	certain	things	to	happen	and	i	couldn't	tell	if	they	were	going	to	or	not	.	there	were	a	lot	of	laughs	in	home	fries	,	but	not	crack	up	funny	ones	.	home	fries	is	a	cute	,	small	movie	,	which	should	make	some	pretty	good	money	at	the	box	office	,	but	it	wont	be	a	blockbuster	.	it	should	keep	some	people	just	entertained	.	it	is	a	very	simple	movie	,	nothing	really	complex	about	it	(	except	the	plot	)	.	home	fries	was	a	really	nice	movie	to	watch	on	thanksgiving	,	and	i	enjoyed	it	a	lot	.
pos	with	a	team	of	200	graphic	artists	and	animators	working	on	this	first	film	production	from	game	developer	squaresoft's	square	pictures	,	final	fantasy	,	inspired	by	the	top	selling	game	franchise	,	is	visually	awe	inspiring	and	groundbreaking	.	no	doubt	,	you	have	never	seen	anything	like	this	film	,	and	the	hyperbolic	fanfare	surrounding	its	release	is	absolutely	deserved	.	but	why	does	such	a	tremendous	feat	of	eye	candy	have	to	be	weighted	down	with	a	problematic	story	,	wooden	dialogue	and	generally	uncharismatic	voice	acting	?	obviously	,	the	primary	goal	of	the	film	is	to	stun	and	amaze	audiences	with	extremely	sophisticated	cgi	.	everything	you	see	in	the	film	is	rendered	in	great	detail	:	individual	threads	in	the	fabric	,	individual	strands	of	hair	swaying	,	wrinkles	and	pimples	on	skin	,	incredible	water	effects	.	overall	,	the	expressions	and	lip	movements	fairly	accurately	match	the	emotions	and	dialogue	;	and	the	times	when	they	don't	sync	perfectly	really	stand	out	,	since	the	animation	is	usually	so	dazzling	.	but	you	won't	spend	much	time	dwelling	on	those	gaffes	as	soon	as	you	catch	one	,	the	next	stellar	monster	or	effect	will	have	you	muttering	,	"	wow	.	.	.	"	like	the	series	of	games	,	final	fantasy's	plot	and	characters	have	little	to	do	with	its	predecessors	,	outside	of	being	born	from	the	same	japanese	mastermind	,	hironobu	sakaguchi	.	it's	the	year	2065	,	and	humans	are	prisoners	in	caged	cities	of	their	own	making	that	guard	them	from	an	outside	world	now	overrun	with	deadly	alien	"	phantoms	.	"	whenever	a	human	comes	in	contact	with	the	ghostly	visitors	,	the	often	invisible	beings	pass	through	the	body	and	wrench	out	its	soul	(	for	some	unexplainable	reason	)	.	while	many	humans	agree	with	a	plan	by	monomaniacal	general	hein	(	james	woods	)	to	blast	the	aliens	with	a	"	zeus	cannon	,	"	dr	.	aki	ross	(	ming	na	)	and	dr	.	sid	(	donald	sutherland	)	plan	to	build	a	"	wave	"	using	eight	collected	"	spirits	"	to	counteract	the	phantoms	and	kill	them	off	.	while	the	images	serve	the	sci	fi	aspect	of	the	film	well	,	the	storytelling	doesn't	.	it's	unfortunate	,	because	the	plot	seems	so	intricately	thought	out	.	perhaps	it	was	far	too	complex	and	enormous	to	be	entirely	incorporated	into	the	script	.	some	could	blame	this	weakness	on	the	fact	that	it	was	a	japanese	concept	translated	to	english	,	except	two	americans	wrote	the	screenplay	.	nevertheless	,	the	end	result	is	an	elaborate	story	complicated	by	confusing	holes	.	why	do	these	aliens	feed	on	souls	?	if	they	can	pass	through	bodies	and	ships	,	how	can	humans	hurt	them	with	guns	?	what	is	so	special	about	the	"	spirits	"	that	they	would	create	a	force	strong	enough	to	destroy	the	aliens	?	worse	yet	,	the	dialogue	is	scripted	to	be	either	like	a	science	heavy	star	trek	episode	,	an	installment	of	die	hard	,	or	a	sappy	love	story	,	depending	on	who's	doing	the	talking	.	for	the	most	part	,	it's	bearable	considering	the	genre	,	but	tedious	speeches	and	cheesy	lines	don't	do	anything	to	help	the	actors	and	can	get	annoying	in	the	longer	scenes	.	the	only	exception	is	steve	buscemi	as	pilot	neil	fleming	,	who	always	has	great	cracks	during	tense	moments	.	but	,	when	the	lights	come	up	and	the	credits	roll	,	you're	more	likely	to	be	remarking	on	how	fantastic	the	film	looked	.	there's	no	question	that	the	roughly	33	million	people	who	have	bought	at	least	one	final	fantasy	game	will	be	eager	to	see	this	movie	,	and	so	should	anyone	who	enjoys	being	floored	by	the	best	cg	animation	ever	put	to	film	.	you'd	be	living	in	a	fantasy	world	of	your	own	if	you	expected	much	more	.
pos	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	the	teaser	trailers	for	my	best	friend's	wedding	scarsely	gave	reason	for	hope	it	looked	like	the	sort	of	goofy	,	light	hearted	comedy	than	might	put	julia	roberts	back	in	the	limelight	,	but	little	more	;	i'd	frankly	rarely	seen	a	trailer	place	such	an	emphasis	on	people	falling	over	for	laughs	so	often	.	it	was	then	to	both	my	surprise	and	my	delight	to	find	that	my	best	friend's	wedding	was	such	a	success	a	strong	,	bouyant	romantic	comedy	with	some	decidedly	unconventionally	quirky	comic	aspects	,	featuring	a	triumphant	performance	from	ms	.	roberts	.	the	heroine	of	my	best	friend's	wedding	is	julianne	potter	(	julia	roberts	)	,	a	successful	new	york	restaurant	critic	,	and	we	open	the	film	with	a	whimsical	revelation	to	her	editor	george	downes	(	rupert	everett	)	that	years	ago	,	she	had	made	a	pact	with	her	dear	best	friend	and	ex	lover	michael	o'neal	(	dermot	mulroney	)	,	a	sports	writer	,	that	if	they	both	hadn't	married	by	the	time	they	reached	28	,	they	had	promised	to	marry	each	other	.	both	julianne	and	michael	are	both	single	,	of	course	,	and	when	george	inquires	about	michael's	age	,	julianne	realizes	that	he's	mere	weeks	away	from	his	28th	birthday	,	and	is	quite	distressed	when	she	receives	a	phone	call	from	michael	later	that	day	.	however	,	she	finds	herself	even	more	distraught	when	michael's	call	is	in	regards	to	his	impending	marriage	to	heiress	kimmy	wallace	(	cameron	diaz	)	,	and	when	he	asks	julianne	to	fly	down	to	chicago	for	the	wedding	,	julianne	suddenly	realizes	that	she	loves	michael	,	and	resolves	to	break	up	the	wedding	and	steal	the	groom	by	any	means	necessary	.	the	setup	for	my	best	friend's	wedding	,	then	,	is	a	fairly	conventional	one	,	and	in	many	ways	the	film's	storyline	is	formulaic	but	only	to	a	certain	extent	:	the	film	was	directed	by	p	.	j	.	hogan	,	whose	first	feature	,	muriel's	wedding	,	had	quite	an	offbeat	tone	for	a	traditional	uplifting	ugly	duckling	story	,	and	the	same	holds	true	for	my	best	friend's	wedding	,	which	confidently	combines	traditional	romantic	comedy	elements	with	a	really	eccentric	sense	of	humour	.	the	film	is	innundated	with	sly	mischievousness	which	seems	clearly	the	influence	of	mr	.	hogan	.	for	example	,	there's	a	heartfelt	,	emotional	exchange	between	julianne	and	michael	late	in	the	film	with	a	trio	of	teenagers	,	inhaling	helium	and	sounding	every	bit	like	alvin	and	the	chipmunks	,	harmonizing	in	the	background	.	my	best	friend's	wedding	opens	with	an	inspired	opening	credit	sequence	which	sets	the	tone	for	the	film	,	and	there	are	scenes	where	actors	spontaneously	burst	into	song	to	good	comic	effect	it	could	almost	be	argued	that	this	film	is	nearly	as	much	of	a	musical	as	woody	allen's	everyone	says	i	love	you	;	i'd	even	assert	it's	a	more	successful	one	.	my	best	friend's	wedding	keeps	breaking	conventionality	with	its	characters	as	well	.	in	a	typical	romantic	comedy	,	kimmy	would	be	portrayed	as	a	snooty	,	conniving	ice	queen	,	and	the	audience	would	be	cheering	for	julianne	to	rescue	michael	from	her	grasps	;	this	film	is	smarter	than	that	here	,	kimmy	is	sweet	,	sincere	,	and	innocent	;	julianne	even	admits	at	one	point	that	had	she	not	resolved	to	utterly	destroy	kimmy's	life	,	she'd	actually	like	her	too	.	the	george	character	is	almost	a	staple	of	recent	film	the	homosexual	male	friend	of	the	heroine	who	acts	as	a	confidant	and	provides	the	guiding	voice	of	reason	but	in	my	best	friend's	wedding	,	he	gets	to	have	a	playful	,	mischievous	and	charming	personality	.	throughout	the	film	,	the	formulaisms	one	often	sees	is	romantic	comedy	are	given	little	twists	,	and	the	result	is	a	film	which	is	compelling	all	the	way	to	its	somewhat	unorthodox	conclusion	.	there	is	a	lot	of	smart	writing	in	the	well	paced	screenplay	by	ronald	bass	;	we're	given	four	interesting	,	vivid	,	and	likeable	characters	,	with	some	good	dialogue	and	some	genuinely	charming	and	touching	moments	.	my	best	friend's	wedding	marks	a	strong	career	rebound	for	julia	roberts	,	who	turns	in	a	top	notch	,	confident	and	reassured	performance	as	julianne	.	this	isn't	the	sort	of	role	one	usually	associates	with	ms	.	roberts	the	julianne	character's	neurotic	,	fumbling	characteristics	are	more	in	line	with	a	meg	ryan	role	but	ms	.	roberts	works	wonderfully	in	the	film	and	demonstrates	her	aptitude	at	comedy	here	,	remaining	compelling	and	empathetic	to	the	audience	,	if	not	entirely	sympathetic	,	even	when	her	deeds	done	to	destroy	the	wedding	plans	of	her	best	friend	are	less	than	honourable	.	even	better	than	ms	.	roberts	though	is	cameron	diaz	,	who	turns	in	a	shining	performance	in	my	best	friend's	weddding	.	with	a	smile	which	lights	up	the	screen	,	she	effectively	conveys	kimmy's	insecurity	and	utter	sweetness	in	an	endearing	manner	,	and	never	hits	a	false	note	in	the	film	.	she	even	sings	i	won't	soon	forget	her	charming	serenade	of	"	i	just	don't	know	what	to	do	with	myself	"	.	rupert	everett	is	given	a	very	juicy	role	as	george	,	and	he	makes	the	most	of	it	with	a	hilarious	turn	which	makes	his	character	perhaps	the	most	vivid	and	most	memorable	in	the	film	.	his	george	is	a	bit	of	a	devilish	rogue	,	entirely	affable	,	and	mr	.	everett's	performance	is	a	delight	to	watch	;	he's	clearly	having	fun	,	and	his	joy	is	infectuous	.	dermot	mulroney	is	adequate	in	a	thankless	role	unlike	the	other	characters	in	the	film	,	he's	not	given	a	lot	to	do	,	but	there	is	a	genuine	onscreen	chemistry	between	ms	.	roberts	and	mr	.	mulroney	,	and	consequently	the	longstanding	friendship	between	his	michael	character	and	the	julianne	character	always	seemed	completely	authentic	.	when	julia	roberts'	lustre	began	to	fade	,	and	she	was	usurped	from	her	title	as	"	america's	sweetheart	"	by	sandra	bullock	,	i	thought	it	was	a	canny	career	move	on	her	part	to	take	supporting	roles	in	prestige	projects	like	michael	collins	and	everyone	says	i	love	you	to	raise	her	profile	.	while	that	didn't	quite	work	out	,	it's	near	certain	that	her	successful	return	to	the	genre	which	made	her	a	big	star	back	in	1990	,	the	romantic	comedy	,	will	once	again	raise	her	ante	in	the	hollywood	game	.	my	best	friend's	wedding	marks	a	return	to	form	for	ms	.	roberts	,	and	cements	p	.	j	.	hogan's	reputation	as	a	skilled	director	of	comedy	.
pos	director	:	rob	bowman	cast	:	david	duchovny	,	gillian	anderson	,	martin	landau	,	blythe	danner	,	armin	mueller	stahl	,	john	neville	,	glenne	headly	screenplay	:	chris	carter	,	frank	spotnitz	producers	:	chris	carter	,	daniel	sackheim	runtime	:	120	min	.	us	distribution	:	20th	century	fox	rated	pg	13	:	some	intense	violence	,	gore	by	nathaniel	r	.	atcheson	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	nate	pyramid	.	net	"	nate	pyramid	.	net	a	)	i	find	most	of	television	so	intensely	boring	that	i	simply	never	turn	on	my	set	,	unless	i'm	watching	a	movie	.	i	don't	even	have	cable	,	so	i	went	to	radio	shack	to	buy	an	antenna	specifically	for	the	purpose	of	watching	"	the	x	files	"	every	sunday	night	.	it's	the	only	show	that's	worth	an	hour	of	my	time	each	week	(	though	,	since	i	don't	watch	reruns	,	i'm	glad	that	i	have	six	months	of	the	year	to	avoid	television	altogether	)	.	i	am	an	avid	fan	of	the	show	,	and	have	been	for	about	three	years	now	.	and	i	love	gillian	anderson	.	the	x	files	is	the	film	that	continues	the	story	where	the	season	finale	left	off	.	the	film	is	like	a	two	hour	episode	,	except	that	there	are	a	lot	more	special	effects	,	the	plot	is	thicker	,	and	the	resolution	is	more	satisfying	.	this	is	a	terrific	film	,	both	for	fans	of	the	series	and	for	those	who	have	never	seen	it	(	i	imagine	that	viewers	unfamiliar	with	the	show	will	find	the	film	to	be	solid	and	riveting	entertainment	)	.	i	expected	to	like	it	more	than	any	episode	i've	seen	,	and	my	expectations	were	met	.	actually	,	the	film	takes	a	few	risks	in	its	story	and	plot	devices	,	but	,	thankfully	,	the	makers	managed	to	do	it	right	.	when	the	finale	ended	,	the	fbi	branch	known	as	the	x	files	had	been	destroyed	,	and	our	heroes	,	mulder	(	david	duchovny	)	and	scully	(	gillian	anderson	)	were	left	stripped	of	five	years	of	hard	work	.	the	film	picks	up	soon	after	;	and	mulder	and	scully	have	been	reduced	to	field	agents	investigating	a	bomb	threat	in	a	federal	building	.	but	wait	,	i'm	getting	ahead	of	myself	.	the	film	actually	opens	in	the	ice	age	,	about	32	,	000	years	prior	,	during	which	a	couple	of	prehistoric	guys	get	attacked	by	a	vicious	alien	.	the	alien's	blood	infects	them	(	fans	of	the	show	will	certainly	remember	the	black	cancer	)	,	and	the	story	jumps	into	modern	times	,	during	which	a	young	boy	is	also	infected	with	the	cancer	.	it	turns	out	that	the	bomb	was	planted	to	kill	the	boy	,	and	mulder	and	scully	uncover	the	cover	up	despite	the	fact	that	scully	has	resigned	from	her	position	in	the	fbi	.	soon	,	they	find	out	that	the	whole	thing	has	to	do	with	aliens	.	as	i've	written	before	,	it's	not	easy	to	write	plot	summaries	for	films	like	this	,	because	everything	needs	to	be	a	surprise	.	fans	of	the	show	will	know	what	to	expect	,	and	i	seriously	doubt	any	of	them	being	disappointed	with	the	film	.	director	rob	bowman	has	done	a	great	job	expanding	the	eerie	feeling	of	the	show	to	the	big	screen	,	making	small	adjustments	and	minor	changes	to	utilize	the	possibilities	that	film	allows	over	television	.	there	are	some	truly	suspenseful	and	well	created	scenes	here	(	late	in	the	film	,	when	they're	in	the	alien	spacecraft	,	you'll	see	one	of	the	better	action	sequences	in	recent	cinema	)	.	the	special	effects	are	very	good	,	and	the	production	design	by	christopher	nowak	is	fantastic	.	what	i	find	interesting	is	that	the	x	files	is	actually	a	great	way	for	series	neophytes	to	get	into	the	story	.	our	heroes	are	given	subtle	introductions	(	we're	not	expected	to	know	them	on	the	outset	)	,	and	the	film	explains	enough	of	the	story	that	prior	knowledge	of	the	series	isn't	required	to	understand	the	film	.	there	are	,	of	course	,	little	elements	that	the	makers	have	included	as	payoff	to	the	fans	,	but	i'll	keep	those	as	surprises	.	it	takes	a	lot	of	thought	and	understanding	of	the	series	to	create	a	film	using	roots	as	complicated	as	the	ones	that	the	series	provides	,	and	then	create	a	coherent	film	that	anyone	can	understand	clearly	.	the	series	is	strong	for	a	lot	of	reasons	.	it's	original	(	though	it	has	many	ties	to	"	the	twilight	zone	"	and	owes	some	homage	to	hitchcock	)	,	and	impressively	eerie	for	a	television	show	.	what	really	makes	the	series	shine	,	however	,	are	the	actors	.	duchovny	has	so	much	presence	,	and	is	just	a	fun	guy	to	watch	.	he	has	that	confidence	that	will	someday	make	him	into	a	bankable	leading	man	.	anderson	is	equally	good	,	and	paralyzingly	beautiful	;	she's	also	a	strong	actress	.	both	performers	have	acted	in	little	more	than	their	series	,	however	,	though	i	think	they'll	both	get	their	chances	to	prove	themselves	very	soon	.	i	enthusiastically	recommend	the	x	files	,	both	for	fans	and	non	fans	.	1998	is	a	summer	filled	with	disappointing	blockbusters	,	and	this	film	should	satisfy	where	most	of	the	others	leave	you	completely	dry	.	it's	an	intelligent	film	,	and	takes	you	places	that	you	might	not	have	been	(	or	,	at	least	,	might	not	have	seen	so	many	times	that	they	feel	familiar	)	.	the	x	files	is	impressive	in	concept	,	as	well	:	fans	of	the	series	are	likely	to	be	highly	critical	,	and	to	take	the	premise	beyond	the	series	is	a	risky	move	.	it's	nice	to	see	a	risk	pay	off	for	a	change	.	actually	,	it's	nice	to	see	a	risk	at	all	.
pos	for	just	a	couple	of	years	now	,	a	certain	film	director	has	been	doing	for	action	films	what	marisa	tomei	did	earlier	this	year	for	the	"	love	interest	"	character	in	film	breathing	life	into	it	.	if	you've	not	guessed	by	now	,	the	man	i'm	talking	about	is	none	other	than	john	woo	.	the	only	problem	is	that	mr	.	woo	has	been	doing	his	thing	over	in	japan	,	and	not	in	the	u	.	s	.	of	a	.	woo's	the	killer	had	so	much	word	of	mouth	in	japan	,	that	once	the	film	arrived	in	the	states	in	1990	it	was	welcomed	with	a	massive	dose	of	critical	praise	.	well	,	the	wait	is	finally	over	.	john	woo	is	here	,	and	his	american	debut	goes	the	distance	to	prove	that	he	is	here	to	stay	.	the	story	is	particularly	simple	:	a	vietnam	vet	is	murdered	by	a	group	of	trigger	happy	hunters	partial	to	that	race	of	human	beings	and	the	man's	daughter	goes	looking	for	him	.	it	seems	he	was	homeless	,	and	to	get	the	proper	tour	of	her	father's	homeland	,	the	daughter	enlists	the	help	of	a	down	and	out	sailor	named	chance	beaudreaux	(	played	by	van	damme	)	.	chance	needs	two	hundred	bucks	to	ship	out	of	new	orleans	,	and	figures	that	by	taking	this	young	and	innocent	woman	up	on	her	offer	,	he	can	get	what	he	needs	.	to	convince	her	that	he's	the	man	for	the	job	,	chance	fights	away	some	homeless	thugs	looking	to	rip	natalie	(	the	daughter	,	played	by	yancy	butler	)	off	of	a	few	hundred	dollars	,	using	his	fists	and	feet	to	crush	bones	like	nothing	you've	ever	seen	in	a	van	damme	movie	before	.	natalie	is	definitely	convinced	.	she	and	chance	soon	discover	that	her	father	was	murdered	,	and	this	leads	them	to	cross	paths	with	the	leader	of	the	afore	mentioned	group	(	played	by	lance	henriksen	)	.	and	we	get	another	murder	of	a	homeless	scene	.	the	vet	who's	killed	this	time	is	someone	chance	knew	as	a	friend	,	and	well	,	you	can	probably	figure	out	the	rest	.	the	story	is	simple	at	heart	,	but	it	isn't	really	the	story	that's	important	here	it's	the	story	telling	.	this	is	a	dynamite	action	film	.	director	john	woo	uses	techniques	like	slow	mo	,	quick	cut	,	and	freeze	frame	that	other	directors	have	either	taken	for	granted	or	have	been	too	afraid	to	use	,	and	creates	an	entirely	new	kind	of	action	movie	that	most	american	audiences	have	never	seen	before	.	it's	exciting	stuff	,	and	it	has	a	truly	explosive	impact	to	it	(	especially	in	the	climax	,	at	an	empty	warehouse	in	the	bayous	)	.	the	characterizations	do	leave	much	to	be	desired	van	damme	has	one	grimacing	expression	plastered	on	his	mug	at	all	times	(	does	this	guy	ever	smile	.	.	.	?	)	,	and	yancy	butler	doesn't	have	much	to	do	here	but	,	again	,	these	things	are	nothing	more	than	serviceable	to	john	woo's	unique	directorial	style	.	he's	a	master	at	this	kind	of	movie	making	.	if	you	see	hard	target	,	but	still	want	more	woo	,	check	out	some	of	his	earlier	japanese	work	(	like	the	killer	and	hard	boiled	)	.	these	movies	all	have	one	thing	in	common	:	a	superior	artist	at	work	.	i	can	compare	woo	with	quentin	tarantino	in	that	the	two	are	fresh	forces	in	hollywood	who	do	not	need	or	want	to	concede	with	any	hollywood	standards	.	target's	ear	slicing	scene	had	to	be	trimmed	in	order	for	the	film	to	attain	an	r	rating	.	and	perhaps	that's	saying	something	,	too	.	woo	has	a	little	to	learn	about	the	united	states	as	far	as	movies	are	concerned	,	and	the	mpaa	and	censorship	.	but	it's	far	from	too	late	,	and	if	woo	keeps	up	the	good	work	he	might	even	be	able	to	break	down	the	mpaa's	standards	on	violence	in	the	movies	.
pos	release	date	:	march	31	,	1999	starring	:	keanu	reeves	,	laurence	fishburne	,	carrie	anne	moss	,	joe	pantoliano	,	hugo	weaving	,	marcus	chong	directed	by	:	andy	wachowski	,	larry	wachowski	distributed	by	:	warner	brothers	mpaa	rating	:	r	(	sci	fi	violence	)	url	:	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	matrix	.	htm	"	http	:	www	.	execpc	.	com	kinnopio	reviews	1999	matrix	.	htm	a	perhaps	the	most	dramatic	changes	in	the	motion	picture	industry	in	this	decade	have	to	do	with	special	effects	.	there	is	no	question	that	action	adventure	and	science	fiction	action	movies	are	now	judged	by	the	character	of	their	light	and	noise	.	whereas	classic	adventure	pics	of	the	last	twenty	years	,	such	as	raiders	of	the	lost	ark	,	were	made	in	grand	traditional	fashion	;	contemporary	films	like	jurassic	park	are	multimillion	dollar	creations	of	computer	technology	.	the	latest	in	this	visually	awesome	series	of	movies	,	the	wachowski	brothers'	the	matrix	,	is	a	testament	to	the	skilled	use	of	special	effects	and	its	ability	to	enhance	a	movie's	story	.	unlike	many	sci	fi	movies	which	promote	themselves	as	effects	heavy	blockbusters	but	fail	to	deliver	on	that	promise	,	the	matrix	is	a	carefully	constructed	special	effects	event	.	it	runs	135	minutes	in	length	and	employs	a	countless	number	of	computerized	tricks	which	range	from	gimmick	to	grandiose	,	and	the	quality	of	the	effects	remains	constant	throughout	the	film's	length	.	contrary	to	popular	trend	,	the	matrix	commits	itself	to	being	a	spectacle	of	light	and	sound	.	in	this	regard	,	the	movie	is	something	like	a	card	sharp	.	with	its	flashy	mass	stripped	away	,	the	matrix	would	be	quite	shallow	and	untalented	.	the	script	is	characteristically	weak	,	and	the	dialogue	suffers	in	lieu	of	a	far	more	innovative	visual	approach	.	but	,	like	the	card	sharp	,	the	matrix	wows	its	audience	to	such	a	high	degree	that	actual	content	is	irrelevent	.	the	viewers	don't	care	about	what	the	matrix	has	to	say	as	long	as	the	next	special	effects	sequence	is	right	around	the	corner	.	and	right	around	the	corner	they	usually	are	,	for	the	script	tells	a	fast	paced	,	albeit	frequently	revisited	story	.	as	the	movie	explains	,	the	world	as	we	know	it	is	nothing	but	an	elaborate	computer	program	constructed	by	an	artificial	intelligence	for	the	purpose	of	placating	mankind	.	billions	of	human	beings	lie	in	this	dormant	state	while	the	intelligence	the	matrix	"	farms	"	our	life	energy	.	only	a	select	group	of	individuals	knows	of	the	"	real	"	world	,	and	a	particularly	ingenious	squad	of	these	rebels	is	led	by	ultra	cool	morpheus	(	laurence	fishburne	)	.	morpheus	and	his	crew	recruit	a	computer	expert	named	neo	(	keanu	reeves	)	,	believing	he	is	a	prophesied	individual	who	will	help	them	overthrow	the	matrix	and	return	peace	to	earth	.	the	cast	plays	out	this	story	in	stylish	fashion	.	the	set	design	is	very	dynamic	,	running	the	gambit	between	cramped	and	dreary	to	bright	and	airy	.	the	costumes	,	as	well	as	the	actors	who	wear	them	,	add	to	the	roles	.	for	instance	,	the	manifested	antagonists	in	the	movie	,	a	group	of	"	agents	"	created	by	the	matrix	in	its	computer	program	,	all	dress	in	matching	secret	servicewear	;	the	rebel	fighters	,	on	the	other	hand	,	dress	in	rich	hues	of	leather	.	the	casting	cannot	be	criticized	,	for	the	typically	stoic	reeves	isn't	required	to	say	much	and	laurence	fishburne	gets	plenty	of	time	to	be	so	damn	cool	.	supports	in	carrie	anne	moss	,	joe	pantoliano	,	and	hugo	weaving	are	all	effectual	.	one	of	the	best	comparisons	to	thw	matrix	is	last	year's	science	fiction	masterpiece	dark	city	,	particularly	if	one	ponders	how	this	same	premise	would've	worked	from	a	different	approach	.	the	alex	proyas	film	was	far	more	dark	and	introspective	,	requiring	a	bit	of	thought	before	themes	became	clear	;	here	,	the	wachowski	brothers	have	managed	to	construct	a	thrill	ride	motion	picture	with	little	abandon	and	much	noise	.	the	better	picture	between	the	two	depends	on	the	viewer	,	but	the	key	to	the	success	of	the	matrix	is	that	the	noise	did	not	get	in	the	way	of	the	fun	.
pos	easily	the	most	anticipated	,	most	delayed	film	release	of	1997	,	james	cameron's	220	million	"	titanic	"	steams	into	theaters	with	a	slew	of	questions	to	answer	,	most	notably	was	it	worth	the	wait	,	the	hype	,	and	all	that	money	?	well	.	"	titanic	"	is	big	,	that's	for	sure	.	the	size	and	scope	of	the	production	are	evidenced	by	a	massive	,	detailed	replica	of	the	white	star	liner	,	impressive	visual	effects	,	countless	extras	,	and	a	love	story	transcending	the	atlantic	ocean	itself	.	that	,	plus	the	fact	that	the	storyline	is	played	out	over	three	and	a	quarter	hours	,	and	we're	talking	epic	proportions	here	.	"	titanic	,	"	alas	,	doesn't	quite	live	up	to	its	promise	or	its	much	ballyhooed	pricetag	.	but	it's	an	entertainment	on	a	grand	scale	nonetheless	.	water	bound	dramas	are	rarely	without	their	production	problems	.	cameron's	own	"	the	abyss	"	had	its	fair	share	,	and	those	dogging	"	waterworld	"	(	prior	to	"	titanic	,	"	the	most	expensive	movie	in	hollywood	history	)	are	legendary	.	on	"	titanic	,	"	it's	clear	that	cameron	the	get	it	right	and	budget	be	damned	director	fairs	far	better	than	cameron	the	sounds	about	right	screenwriter	.	while	the	ship	sinks	convincingly	and	spectacularly	enough	,	leads	leonardo	dicaprio	and	kate	winslet	get	saddled	with	lots	of	cornball	situations	and	dialogue	.	cameron's	trump	card	was	to	make	"	titanic	"	first	and	foremost	a	love	story	.	however	,	his	straightforward	approach	to	that	fateful	night	on	april	15th	,	1912	lends	itself	better	to	his	visual	overtures	than	his	romantic	undertones	.	dicaprio	plays	jack	dawson	,	a	freewheeling	,	penniless	(	are	there	any	other	kind	?	)	artist	from	steerage	who's	smitten	by	winslet's	rose	dewitt	bukater	,	a	stifled	society	damsel	from	the	upper	decks	.	cameron	paints	the	haves	and	the	have	nots	a	little	too	black	and	white	the	rich	are	all	stuffy	,	boring	snots	while	the	poor	are	the	only	ones	who	really	know	how	to	have	fun	but	on	the	darker	side	,	billy	zane	is	particularly	good	as	rose's	suave	,	callous	fianc	cal	hockley	.	of	the	innumerable	versions	of	this	ocean	going	tragedy	,	this	one	might	be	the	first	to	imply	that	the	titanic	hit	the	iceberg	because	its	lookouts	were	distracted	by	a	couple	making	out	on	deck	.	however	,	even	at	its	epic	length	,	"	titanic	"	is	never	boring	.	time	skips	by	quickly	,	and	there	are	more	than	a	few	decent	supporting	performances	to	enjoy	,	including	frances	fisher	(	as	rose's	disapproving	mother	ruth	)	and	bernard	hill	,	in	an	underwritten	role	as	the	ship's	ineffectual	captain	.	perhaps	the	most	interesting	aspect	of	the	film	occurs	during	its	present	day	setup	,	when	a	rugged	salvage	expert	(	played	by	bill	"	we're	toast	,	man	!	"	paxton	)	has	one	of	his	staff	explain	,	via	a	fascinating	computer	animation	,	how	the	ship	went	down	in	the	icy	waters	of	the	north	atlantic	,	sending	1	,	500	of	its	2	,	200	passengers	and	crew	to	their	deaths	.	all	this	,	of	course	,	is	represented	in	larger	than	life	cameron	a	rama	later	in	the	film	,	when	the	tragedy	of	1912	is	stunningly	recreated	.	at	this	point	in	"	titanic	,	"	dicaprio	and	winslet	take	a	back	seat	to	the	spectacle	and	,	like	the	rest	of	us	,	hang	on	for	dear	life	.
pos	every	ant	has	his	day	.	at	least	,	that's	what	woody	allen	would	have	you	think	,	in	this	twisted	animated	version	of	annie	hall	meets	brazil	.	starting	with	a	moody	grass	scape	of	what	turns	out	to	be	a	quiet	corner	of	central	park	,	voiced	over	by	allen's	z'	,	a	hapless	worker	ant	who	feels	the	weight	of	the	colony	so	to	speak	on	his	back	,	antz	tracks	a	lot	like	any	allen	flick	.	in	fact	,	if	it	wasn't	for	all	the	forumla	driven	bad	guys	,	perilous	situations	,	and	narrow	escapes	,	antz	would	be	exactly	like	any	other	allen	film	.	but	this	is	animation	,	and	that	means	kid	pleasing	effects	must	plaster	the	screen	.	sadly	,	this	hurts	the	story	to	the	point	where	antz	will	quickly	get	lost	in	the	shuffle	of	animated	films	coming	out	over	the	next	year	,	despite	its	unique	touches	.	to	make	matters	worse	,	some	of	the	more	gruesome	scenes	,	including	an	ant	termite	battle	that	would	leave	private	ryan	wetting	himself	,	are	decidedly	not	for	children	.	don't	get	me	wrong	,	i	thoroughly	enjoyed	the	movie	.	and	if	the	humdrum	trailer	for	a	bug's	life	is	any	indication	,	antz	is	going	to	be	the	best	we'll	see	out	of	computer	animation	for	awhile	,	at	least	until	toy	story	2	.	but	,	to	paraphrase	z	himself	,	a	boy	meets	girl	,	boy	loses	girl	,	boy	changes	underlying	social	structure	movie	.	.	.	just	isn't	that	original	.	even	if	it	is	about	ants	.	more	story	,	less	silly	antics	.	maybe	then	i'll	be	inclined	to	put	down	my	can	of	raid	.	.	.	.
pos	labelling	is	sometimes	everything	.	in	original	mad	max	,	the	opening	title	set	the	plot	of	the	movie	in	near	future	,	thus	making	it	one	of	the	science	fiction	classics	,	despite	the	future	world	being	almost	exactly	like	our	own	.	walter	hill	wanted	the	same	opening	title	for	his	action	classic	the	warriors	.	producers	weren't	thrilled	by	that	idea	and	consequently	the	movie	lost	all	of	its	futuristic	overtones	.	on	the	other	hand	,	producers	were	right	on	the	mark	;	walter	hill	was	accused	of	actually	promoting	some	disturbing	trends	that	were	quite	visible	in	contemporary	america	.	to	make	the	movie	even	more	distant	from	future	,	plot	was	loosely	based	on	anabasis	,	historical	book	written	by	xenophon	,	greek	mercenary	soldier	who	had	described	his	adventures	in	ancient	persia	2400	years	ago	.	instead	of	ancient	persia	,	movie	begins	in	contemporary	coney	island	,	where	cleon	(	dorsey	wright	)	,	leader	of	the	warriors	,	local	youth	gang	,	gets	invitation	to	the	great	gathering	of	all	youth	gangs	from	the	city	.	the	gathering	,	organised	by	gramercy	park	riffs	,	most	powerful	gang	in	the	city	,	is	taking	place	in	bronx	.	that	is	far	away	from	warriors'	home	territory	,	but	small	and	unarmed	delegation	of	the	warriors	gets	there	safely	thanks	to	the	general	truce	.	on	the	gathering	,	cyrus	(	roger	hill	)	,	charismatic	leader	of	the	riffs	,	announces	his	grand	plan	to	unite	all	the	gangs	and	take	over	the	city	.	crowd	is	enthusiastic	,	but	the	small	gang	of	rogues	,	led	by	psychopathic	luther	(	david	patrick	kelly	)	uses	the	opportunity	to	assassinate	cyrus	.	police	simultaneously	raids	the	gathering	,	and	in	the	commotion	warriors	get	blamed	by	the	killing	,	and	their	leader	gets	killed	by	riffs	.	the	remaining	eight	,	led	by	cleon's	lieutenant	swann	(	michael	beck	)	,	must	now	try	to	get	to	coney	island	,	but	this	time	unprotected	by	truce	and	instead	being	chased	by	all	the	gangs	.	upon	its	release	,	despite	the	controversies	and	even	some	youth	riots	that	were	allegedly	inspired	by	it	,	the	warriors	enjoyed	immense	popularity	and	very	quickly	received	some	kind	of	a	cult	status	.	however	,	despite	being	one	of	the	best	movies	of	that	year	,	and	being	directed	by	talented	action	director	walter	hill	at	the	peak	of	his	career	,	the	movie	failed	to	leave	as	strong	impression	to	the	future	generations	as	some	other	cinematic	achievements	of	that	same	year	.	the	reason	for	that	probably	lies	in	a	fact	that	this	movie	aged	very	quickly	.	if	walter	hill's	idea	was	to	warn	the	public	about	problems	of	urban	america	,	he	failed	miserably	.	the	future	was	much	worse	than	his	vision	.	the	youth	gangs	,	as	presented	in	the	warriors	,	are	far	from	shadowy	armies	,	able	to	take	over	entire	cities	.	their	members	seem	more	interested	in	unorthodox	fashion	and	their	little	petty	feuds	than	such	prosaic	,	and	for	the	public	more	annoying	,	matters	like	crime	.	in	their	vocabulary	,	word	"	arms	"	is	reserved	for	small	knives	and	blunt	objects	,	and	only	few	of	them	use	heavy	artillery	like	handguns	.	they	even	have	their	own	,	very	strict	and	detailed	laws	,	upheld	more	strictly	than	some	governments	do	with	their	own	.	many	people	in	american	cities	would	be	more	than	happy	to	see	their	young	criminals	behaving	like	those	in	the	warriors	.	some	of	the	critics	who	accused	hill	of	actually	praising	youth	crime	had	a	lot	arguments	in	their	favour	.	despite	those	objections	,	the	warriors	have	all	the	elements	of	a	very	good	film	.	the	plot	is	simple	,	and	serves	as	good	basis	for	numerous	action	scenes	.	the	fights	are	brilliantly	choreographed	and	quite	realistic	,	although	there	isn't	much	bloodshed	or	gore	in	the	movie	.	editing	is	superb	,	events	happen	at	quick	pace	,	with	the	exception	of	middle	,	when	boring	moralistic	exchanges	between	swann	and	his	would	be	girlfriend	mercy	(	deborah	van	valkenburgh	)	drag	the	plot	from	straight	action	to	social	drama	territory	.	the	soundtrack	by	barry	de	vorzon	is	very	suggestive	and	recognisable	.	yet	,	the	trademark	of	this	film	are	the	actors	who	showed	great	talent	,	although	most	of	them	later	sunk	into	anonymity	.	best	known	of	them	is	david	patrick	kelly	,	whose	superb	and	original	performance	in	this	film	later	subscribed	him	to	the	roles	of	psychopathic	villains	.	michael	beck	as	cool	,	almost	statesman	like	leader	of	a	gang	,	is	also	very	good	,	and	james	remar	gives	good	contrast	as	his	hot	shot	contender	for	top	spot	.	all	in	all	,	this	movie	is	perhaps	dated	,	yet	in	its	hour	and	half	can	give	a	lot	more	entertainment	than	most	of	the	contemporary	movies	.
pos	there's	good	news	and	bad	news	about	mulan	.	the	positive	is	that	disney	has	found	a	happy	medium	between	the	heavy	handedness	of	pocahontas	and	the	hunchback	of	notre	dame	and	the	childishness	of	hercules	.	on	the	other	hand	,	the	studio	is	pulling	out	all	the	stops	on	plot	cliches	and	cheap	laughs	,	several	steps	down	from	the	days	of	the	little	mermaid	and	beauty	and	the	beast	.	but	mulan	is	a	step	in	the	right	direction	and	disney's	best	animated	feature	since	the	lion	king	.	after	giving	native	americans	a	turn	in	pocahontas	,	disney	has	decided	to	turn	a	movie	over	to	the	asians	.	mulan	is	set	in	feudal	china	and	features	the	ever	popular	heroine	who	marches	to	a	different	drum	and	wants	to	do	more	with	her	life	than	get	married	.	that's	what	we	find	out	when	young	mulan	(	voice	of	ming	na	wen	)	screws	up	her	appointment	with	the	matchmaker	by	letting	a	rogue	cricket	splash	coffee	all	over	her	.	cartoons	.	.	.	meanwhile	,	word	comes	from	the	emporer	that	one	man	from	every	family	must	join	the	army	and	help	fight	the	huns	.	since	mulan's	a	girl	,	that	means	her	decrepit	old	father	must	go	.	she	pleads	with	the	soldiers	to	have	mercy	on	dear	old	dad	,	but	that	kind	of	groveling	and	desperation	brings	shame	on	her	family	.	that's	chinese	culture	for	you	.	.	.	so	imagine	how	embarrassed	the	family	is	the	next	day	when	they	find	mulan	has	stolen	her	father's	uniform	and	sword	and	run	off	to	join	the	army	in	his	place	.	the	movie	in	a	nutshell	is	about	the	stuggles	of	being	a	woman	in	the	army	.	it	should	have	been	called	g	.	i	.	chang	.	mulan	calls	on	her	ancestors	for	help	.	they	decide	to	summon	the	large	stone	dragon	in	the	backyard	to	protect	her	,	but	a	mini	dragon	named	mushu	screws	it	up	.	voiced	by	eddie	murphy	,	mushu	continues	the	tradition	of	cute	talking	animal	sidekicks	who	do	more	slapstick	harm	than	good	for	their	human	charges	.	murphy's	performance	is	a	direct	descendent	of	robin	williams	in	aladdin	lots	of	wisecracks	and	ad	libs	and	even	an	introductory	song	about	how	much	fun	they're	going	to	have	.	you	ain't	never	had	a	friend	like	mushu	.	speaking	of	songs	,	mulan	doesn't	have	too	many	of	them	,	which	is	a	plus	with	a	story	like	this	.	disney	songs	about	war	probably	wouldn't	go	over	too	well	(	"	heigh	ho	,	heigh	ho	,	it's	off	to	war	i	go	.	.	.	"	)	,	and	the	ones	they	do	have	aren't	memorable	.	the	best	of	the	bunch	,	sad	to	say	,	is	"	be	a	man	,	"	the	requisite	basic	training	montage	song	.	yes	,	even	in	medieval	china	,	they	had	to	run	through	that	web	of	car	tires	before	they	were	ready	for	battle	.	sung	by	donnie	osmond	(	a	bad	sign	if	ever	there	was	one	)	,	"	be	a	man	"	accompanies	footage	of	mulan's	platoon	going	from	screw	ups	to	heroes	.	it	makes	me	wonder	,	has	there	ever	been	a	musical	montage	in	a	movie	that's	ended	badly	?	i	only	wish	real	life	problems	could	be	solved	in	two	minutes	with	a	peppy	montage	.	for	the	curious	,	mulan	does	pass	for	a	man	in	the	army	despite	looking	like	a	girl	.	all	she	does	to	transform	herself	is	cut	her	hair	to	a	sexy	shoulder	length	,	talk	macho	and	slap	guys	on	the	butt	,	as	was	male	custom	a	thousand	years	ago	in	china	.	the	deception	fools	everyone	but	the	audience	,	who	thinks	she	might	be	able	to	pass	for	a	12	year	old	boy	,	at	best	.	but	she	does	manage	to	strike	the	biggest	blows	to	the	hun	army	,	led	by	a	big	,	evil	eyed	attilla	looking	monster	.	as	a	villain	,	the	head	of	the	huns	is	menacing	,	evil	and	entirely	forgettable	.	i	saw	the	movie	yesterday	and	i	don't	remember	the	man's	name	.	otherwise	,	mulan	is	a	good	movie	.	the	animation	of	the	characters	themselves	isn't	as	rich	as	it	could	and	should	be	,	but	there	are	some	amazing	battlefield	shots	.	eddie	murphy	pulls	off	some	good	one	liners	,	as	do	other	star	voices	like	harvey	fierstein	and	pat	morita	,	the	quintessential	asian	movie	star	.	hell	,	george	"	mr	.	sulu	"	takei	does	a	voice	in	mulan	.	you	get	the	sense	disney	said	to	themselves	,	"	alright	,	let's	get	out	there	and	find	us	some	chinese	americans	in	hollywood	.	who	can	you	think	of	?	"	"	well	,	there's	mr	.	myagi	.	.	.	"	"	good	.	"	"	and	mr	.	sulu	.	"	"	perfect	.	we've	got	ourselves	a	movie	now	.	"	soon	disney	really	_	will	_	be	able	to	paint	with	all	the	colors	of	the	wind	.	visit	the	movie	critic	at	large	homepage	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	missouri	.	edu	c667778	movies	.	html	a	close	to	1	,	000	reviews	with	a	comedic	flair	.	.	.
pos	as	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	and	uncut	opens	,	the	citizens	of	the	famous	mountainside	town	are	celebrating	life's	good	fortune	.	the	birds	are	chirping	,	the	sun	is	shining	,	and	the	friendly	inhabitants	are	smiling	gleefully	as	they	skip	down	the	street	to	an	upbeat	tune	.	enter	the	foursome	of	cartman	,	kyle	,	stan	and	kenny	,	the	infamous	group	of	elementary	school	children	that	the	tv	show	is	based	upon	.	they	see	an	ad	bearing	the	names	of	their	favorite	fart	lighting	duo	of	terrance	and	phillip	,	who	are	appearing	in	their	very	first	feature	length	movie	(	a	canadian	production	)	.	and	so	they	venture	forth	to	the	local	cineplex	,	where	they	are	shamefully	turned	down	from	seeing	this	graphic	,	r	rated	feature	.	after	bribing	a	homeless	man	to	accompany	them	as	their	parental	guardian'	,	the	boys	make	it	in	to	watch	the	movie	,	unaware	that	the	profane	language	they	learn	will	soon	thereafter	destroy	their	quiet	and	peaceful	town	.	south	park	is	a	tv	show	that	grew	immensely	popular	on	comedy	central	.	mostly	,	of	course	,	with	the	less	demanding	younger	viewers	,	who	found	the	idea	of	swearing	and	offensive	cardboard	children	to	be	just	their	cup	of	tea	.	now	that	co	creators	trey	parker	and	matt	stone	are	free	of	their	television	rating	confines	,	they	have	pushed	the	envelope	as	far	as	it	can	possibly	go	.	the	south	park	movie	is	more	raunchy	,	vulgar	and	repeatedly	crude	than	anything	you	have	probably	ever	seen	.	the	obscenities	flow	so	consistently	that	unwilling	viewers	may	be	scarred	for	life	,	left	to	babble	on	in	profane	gibberish	.	the	reason	the	film	exists	is	that	parker	and	stone	can	take	revenge	on	the	mpaa	(	that's	the	motion	picture	association	of	america	)	,	with	whom	they've	experienced	a	complicated	past	.	but	,	they	won't	stop	there	.	how	many	groups	,	minorities	and	individuals	does	the	south	park	movie	stab	in	the	back	?	with	the	exception	of	the	mpaa	,	there	is	(	ahem	)	black	people	,	jewish	people	,	gay	people	,	anne	murray	,	celine	dion	,	jar	jar	binks	,	the	baldwin	brothers	,	saddam	hussein	,	brian	boitano	,	bill	gates	,	barbara	streisand	,	and	most	blatantly	of	all	:	canada	!	parker	and	stone	have	cross	referenced	all	the	inventive	ways	to	make	fun	of	we	canadians	,	from	speech	patterns	to	flag	wearing	and	beyond	.	it	would	be	advisable	for	anyone	who	is	easily	offended	to	avoid	this	film	,	at	all	costs	.	but	back	to	the	plot	.	after	the	south	park	children	begin	to	utter	shocking	four	letter	words	as	part	of	their	regular	vocabulary	,	the	mothers	take	action	.	forming	mac	(	mothers	against	canada	)	,	they	take	their	case	to	president	clinton	,	forcing	him	to	proclaim	war	on	the	neighboring	country	for	polluting	the	american	children's	minds	with	their	obscene	movie	productions	.	terrance	and	phillip	are	thereby	scheduled	to	be	executed	,	with	a	pre	celebrity	bash	including	winona	ryder	and	big	gay	al	.	the	south	park	children	decide	to	band	together	,	stop	the	bloodbath	,	and	save	the	lives	of	their	acting	icons	before	all	is	lost	.	let	me	first	say	that	i	laughed	.	lord	help	me	,	i	nearly	busted	a	gut	during	some	uproarious	musical	numbers	.	yes	,	in	case	you	didn't	know	already	,	the	south	park	movie	is	basically	a	feature	length	animated	musical	.	the	lyrics	are	often	side	splitting	and	many	of	the	songs	have	an	enjoyable	beat	,	especially	the	re	enactment	of	the	widely	cherished	kyle's	mom's	a	b	ch'	,	performed	with	eager	enthusiasm	by	cartman	himself	.	as	a	sub	plot	,	kenny	sets	himself	on	fire	while	attempting	to	light	his	own	fart	,	and	descends	to	hell	.	there	he	meets	satan	,	who	is	having	a	heated	affair	with	none	other	than	saddam	hussein	.	for	such	(	intentionally	)	crummy	animation	,	there	are	some	impressive	computer	generated	visuals	down	below	.	unfortunately	,	this	and	many	other	offensive	scenarios	are	almost	too	eager	to	cross	the	line	into	disgusting	vulgarity	.	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	and	uncut	nearly	received	an	nc	17	from	the	mpaa	,	and	for	good	reason	;	this	film	is	not	for	young	audiences	.	while	a	half	hour	episode	is	nicely	filling	,	the	90	minute	movie	begins	to	lose	fuel	as	it	nears	the	conclusion	.	but	some	sequences	are	so	hilarious	,	and	some	pop	culture	references	so	cleverly	placed	,	you	just	have	to	appreciate	the	effort	.	south	park	:	bigger	,	longer	and	uncut	breaks	every	rule	in	the	book	,	and	if	you	have	the	courage	,	you	just	might	find	it	entertaining	.
pos	hollywood	has	a	.	750	batting	average	with	elmore	leonard	adaptations	.	last	year's	touch	was	ill	conceived	and	just	plain	odd	but	get	shorty	,	jackie	brown	and	now	out	of	sight	all	were	highly	entertaining	movies	.	steven	soderburgh	,	master	of	sex	,	lies	and	videotape	,	now	adds	crime	to	his	repertoire	in	this	tale	of	bank	robbery	,	prison	,	double	crossing	,	uncut	diamonds	and	,	oh	yeah	,	true	love	.	george	clooney	is	the	protagonist	,	a	risky	choice	after	such	duds	as	batman	and	robin	and	the	peacemaker	,	but	for	once	i	didn't	want	to	slap	the	taste	out	of	his	mouth	.	he	plays	his	role	in	out	of	sight	as	the	suave	cary	grant	type	perfected	in	hitchcock	movies	,	the	kind	of	guy	to	whom	crime	is	just	a	profession	like	any	other	.	nowhere	present	is	clooney's	usual	ain't	i	sexy	sneer	there's	just	enough	leftover	lightheartedness	to	fit	in	with	the	leonard	style	.	clooney	is	definitely	a	perfect	successor	to	john	travolta	in	get	shorty	.	clooney	plays	a	man	who's	robbed	about	200	banks	without	ever	using	a	gun	.	in	the	opening	scene	,	he	walks	into	one	bank	and	robs	it	not	only	with	ease	but	with	charm	.	of	course	,	he	gets	caught	,	so	it's	not	all	good	.	it's	while	doing	time	in	a	florida	prison	that	clooney	learns	of	one	rich	inmate's	(	albert	brooks	in	a	frightful	bald	wig	)	collection	of	diamonds	in	detroit	.	clooney	and	cohort	ving	rhames	plan	the	score	,	while	protection	artist	and	fight	promoter	don	cheadle	begins	rival	plans	.	meanwhile	,	there's	jennifer	lopez	.	unintentionally	funny	in	selena	and	intentionally	funny	in	anaconda	,	she's	finally	graduated	to	a	worthy	role	as	the	u	.	s	.	marshal	who	happens	to	be	driving	up	to	the	jail	on	the	night	clooney	escapes	.	rhames	is	waiting	to	give	him	a	ride	in	a	stolen	car	,	and	lopez	makes	it	a	threesome	,	her	hostage	ass	locked	in	a	trunk	with	clooney	.	he's	covered	in	dirt	and	has	a	gun	to	her	neck	,	and	it's	a	little	cramped	in	there	,	but	they	manage	to	make	a	love	connection	anyway	,	probably	because	it's	a	movie	.	the	relationship	between	clooney	and	lopez	is	at	the	heart	of	the	movie	,	and	one	of	the	details	that	elevates	it	beyond	your	normal	noir	ish	crime	story	.	the	leonard	movies	are	more	obsessed	with	dialogue	than	crime	,	and	this	is	no	exception	.	although	they're	not	really	germane	to	the	plot	,	lopez's	relationship	with	her	father	(	dennis	farina	of	get	shorty	)	,	rhames'	relationship	with	his	christian	sister	(	you	could	call	her	sister	christian	)	and	a	pop	in	cameo	by	michael	keaton	all	lend	extra	class	to	a	movie	already	full	of	it	.	out	of	sight	spans	at	least	three	years	but	has	a	non	linear	structure	,	focusing	on	the	jailbreak	brooks	score	and	flashing	back	to	earlier	times	.	this	is	a	movie	with	a	brain	,	as	smooth	and	calculated	as	the	clooney	and	lopez	characters	themselves	.	the	entire	cast	does	the	material	justice	clooney	and	lopez	coming	into	their	own	,	and	rhames	and	cheadle	cementing	their	positions	as	two	of	my	favorites	.	here's	hoping	future	leonard	adaptations	continue	to	carry	the	torch	.
pos	written	by	:	francis	ford	coppola	,	adapted	from	the	novel	by	john	grisham	starring	:	matt	damon	,	claire	danes	,	danny	devito	,	jon	voight	,	and	danny	glover	ingredients	:	neophyte	lawyer	,	legal	situations	,	corrupt	insurance	company	,	synopsis	:	rudy	baylor	(	matt	damon	)	is	an	ethical	kid	fresh	out	of	law	school	who	must	juggle	three	legal	situations	at	the	same	time	.	rudy's	girlfriend	is	attacked	by	her	violent	husband	;	rudy's	elderly	landlady	wants	to	arrange	her	will	so	that	her	children	are	excluded	,	and	;	the	family	of	rudy's	friend	with	leukemia	is	suing	the	corrupt	insurance	company	that	wouldn't	pay	for	a	bone	marrow	transplant	.	rudy	is	new	to	being	a	lawyer	and	is	thoroughly	outgunned	,	but	luckily	he	is	aided	by	a	sleazy	ambulance	chaser	(	danny	devito	)	who	has	failed	the	bar	exam	six	times	as	well	as	by	the	kindly	presiding	judge	(	danny	glover	)	.	jon	voight	plays	leo	f	.	drummond	,	the	intimidating	and	arrogant	leader	of	the	all	powerful	insurance	company's	team	of	lawyers	who	will	do	anything	to	oppose	justice	.	will	rudy	defeat	leo	?	will	he	enjoy	being	a	lawyer	?	opinion	:	the	good	news	is	that	this	movie	has	a	happy	ending	,	and	it	features	a	guy	trying	to	do	the	right	thing	.	director	francis	ford	coppola	does	this	film	a	little	differently	than	the	stereotypical	law	movie	.	in	the	typical	lawyer	movie	there's	one	big	case	and	the	movie	focuses	on	solving	it	,	and	somewhere	along	the	line	surprise	witnesses	and	motives	turn	up	before	the	good	guy	wins	(	after	lots	of	gripping	courtroom	drama	)	.	however	,	coppola's	movie	is	deliberately	more	low	key	.	'the	rainmaker'	plays	out	like	a	personality	sketch	of	young	rudy	as	he	gets	emotionally	involved	with	and	tries	to	save	various	little	quirky	side	characters	.	in	the	background	rudy's	voice	narrates	his	feelings	and	makes	half	cynical	jokes	about	the	legal	profession	in	general	.	two	factors	combine	to	make	this	movie	less	heavy	than	it	can	be	.	first	,	rudy's	time	is	split	juggling	three	cases	,	rather	than	concentrating	on	a	single	high	stakes	case	.	also	,	rudy's	use	of	voice	narration	in	place	of	acting	makes	the	film	lose	some	of	its	dramatic	edge	.	the	end	result	is	an	entertaining	low	key	law	movie	where	the	good	guys	win	,	and	rudy	narrates	his	way	into	coming	of	age	.
pos	scream	2	has	a	titillating	little	scene	that	lays	down	the	unwritten	law	of	horror	movie	sequels	quite	well	.	during	a	film	class	discussion	,	windsor	college	students	articulate	what	these	inevitable	laws	are	,	and	why	sequels	never	live	up	to	the	originals	.	a	few	rare	exceptions	are	noted	,	but	they	left	out	one	.	.	.	scream	2	!	1996's	surprise	horror	blockbuster	scream	became	an	instant	hit	and	developed	an	obsessive	coterie	of	fans	which	included	almost	every	teenager	in	america	!	a	sequel	was	unavoidable	,	but	luckily	the	re	teaming	of	writer	kevin	williamson	and	director	wes	craven	gives	us	nothing	to	fear	in	the	way	of	lost	entertainment	.	in	fact	,	at	the	risk	of	sounding	sacrilegious	to	all	the	adorning	fans	of	scream	,	i	would	say	that	scream	2	might	even	be	the	better	film	!	sidney	prescott	(	neve	campbell	)	,	the	sinuous	heroine	who	survived	a	series	of	murders	in	woodsboro	,	ca	in	the	original	scream	,	is	now	two	years	older	and	off	to	college	,	majoring	in	theater	.	meanwhile	,	tv	journalist	gale	weathers	(	courtney	cox	)	,	who	covered	the	murders	in	the	first	film	,	has	since	written	a	book	about	the	dreadful	events	;	a	book	titled	"	stab	"	,	which	has	been	developed	into	a	major	motion	picture	.	as	scream	2	opens	,	a	crowd	of	overzealous	teenagers	are	piling	into	a	crowded	movie	theater	for	the	premiere	of	"	stab	"	,	and	before	long	,	a	young	couple	are	butchered	to	death	,	unnoticed	in	the	midst	of	hysteria	.	this	marks	the	beginning	of	a	new	murder	spree	as	an	unknown	"	copycat	"	sets	out	to	repeat	what's	been	done	.	.	.	and	finish	what	hasn't	!	of	course	the	killer	is	just	as	obsessed	with	movies	as	the	killer	in	the	first	film	,	and	yes	,	movies	play	a	huge	role	in	the	bizarre	psychological	outlook	the	murderer	holds	as	he	she	goes	about	slaying	an	assortment	of	gorgeous	twenty	year	olds	,	but	this	is	a	sequel	,	and	without	deviating	from	the	original	groundwork	we	are	still	given	a	fresh	outlook	on	horror	movies	.	this	is	in	large	part	due	to	williamson's	deliciously	written	script	,	which	will	easily	leave	you	satisfied	.	as	much	as	the	film	condemns	the	use	of	cliches	,	it	is	riddled	with	them	,	but	it	is	done	so	effectively	,	and	with	skillful	direction	by	craven	,	that	you're	not	bound	to	complain	.	i	will	note	,	however	,	that	the	"	whodunit	?	"	did	wind	up	being	the	first	person	i	suspected	,	but	believe	me	,	i	kept	changing	my	mind	as	i	tried	to	stay	one	ahead	of	the	movie	.	all	the	actors	outdo	themselves	here	.	we're	not	talking	oscar	performances	,	but	cambell	,	cox	,	david	arquette	as	dewey	riley	,	and	jamie	kennedy	as	randy	all	give	surprisingly	satisfying	performances	that	go	beyond	their	last	outing	.	the	characters	remain	true	to	their	roots	,	and	yet	show	a	clear	sign	of	development	over	the	last	two	years	.	we	can	see	how	the	events	in	the	first	film	has	affected	them	,	but	we	don't	lose	any	of	the	luster	that	made	them	such	a	delight	to	watch	in	the	first	place	.	the	nice	thing	about	scream	2	is	that	it	doesn't	seem	off	kilter	from	it's	predecessor	.	it's	a	natural	,	smooth	,	and	believable	(	as	far	as	horror	films	go	)	transition	from	film	to	film	.	we	skip	two	years	,	but	there	doesn't	seem	to	be	any	holes	or	shortcuts	taken	in	connecting	the	two	flicks	.	it	flows	so	well	that	you	feel	more	like	you're	reading	chapter	two	of	a	book	(	long	chapters	,	eh	?	)	than	just	revitalizing	a	cast	of	familiar	faces	.	while	main	characters	are	usually	the	only	connection	in	sequels	,	scream	2's	entire	plot	structure	correlates	completely	with	the	first	,	making	for	immediate	fondness	and	absorption	.	as	i	said	before	,	scream	2	easily	lives	up	to	,	if	not	surpassing	,	it's	precursor	.	the	only	reason	scream	will	likely	be	hailed	above	scream	2	is	because	it	was	the	first	.	this	doesn't	mean	that	it	overcasts	the	unique	,	whimsical	humor	or	overall	caliber	of	it's	sequel	,	it	just	means	that	scream	will	forever	be	known	as	the	movie	that	mocked	it's	own	while	maintaining	it's	sought	after	qualities	.	if	ever	a	film	followed	it's	original	so	well	,	it	would	be	scream	2	,	and	it	makes	this	a	definite	must	see	for	all	those	unbridled	scream	fans	out	there	.	scream	2	fits	snugly	alongside	scream	,	and	will	hopefully	receive	as	many	high	remarks	.	it	would	top	off	the	series	quite	well	,	if	it	weren't	for	the	fact	that	two	movies	don't	really	make	a	series	.	it's	unlikely	to	assume	that	a	scream	3	won't	appear	in	the	next	few	years	,	but	if	they	do	decide	to	turn	this	into	an	undeniably	acclaimed	horror	trilogy	,	let's	hope	they	can	keep	up	the	fantastic	work	.	like	they	say	,	don't	mess	with	perfection	.	.	.	but	when	a	money	making	smash	hit	is	almost	guaranteed	,	who's	gonna	listen	?
pos	capsule	:	starts	off	as	a	legal	thriller	,	but	mutates	into	something	much	closer	to	the	heart	and	features	gene	hackman	in	a	typically	excellent	performance	.	some	movies	lead	you	wrong	,	and	that's	a	good	thing	.	the	chamber	,	adapted	from	the	john	grishamn	novel	,	starts	off	as	a	typical	legal	thriller	with	a	twist	,	but	then	slowly	turns	into	a	different	sort	of	story	,	about	one	man	trying	to	find	the	truth	about	the	past	and	another	man	trying	to	find	the	truth	about	himself	.	the	two	men	are	adam	hall	,	a	young	chicago	laywer	,	and	his	grandfather	,	sam	cayhall	.	cayhall	is	a	product	of	the	worst	breeds	of	southern	racism	,	in	whose	fold	he	built	and	detonated	several	bombs	.	"	i	never	meant	to	kill	anyone	,	"	he	repeats	angrily	,	but	bombs	are	generally	not	designed	to	do	much	else	,	and	three	trials	and	countless	appeals	later	,	he	is	now	on	death	row	.	hall	,	his	grandson	,	has	decided	to	take	on	the	eleventh	hour	defense	.	hall	and	cayhill	do	not	like	each	other	.	cayhill	has	no	use	for	lawyers	most	of	the	reasons	,	it	seems	at	first	,	are	blatantly	racist	,	and	don't	bear	repeating	here	(	even	though	they	are	delivered	with	consummate	skill	by	hackman	)	.	hall	doesn't	like	the	bitter	old	man	,	but	he	smells	a	great	deal	is	being	held	away	from	a	lot	of	people's	noses	here	,	and	digs	.	he	finds	a	lot	.	as	the	movie	unwound	,	i	felt	it	could	have	gone	one	of	two	ways	:	either	it	could	have	developed	the	plot	to	the	point	where	the	human	story	became	more	irrelevant	and	therefore	could	be	resolved	with	a	mechanical	flourish	(	the	way	the	dreadful	a	time	to	kill	ended	up	)	,	or	it	could	pay	closer	attention	to	the	people	in	the	story	.	it	takes	the	second	road	,	and	is	all	the	better	for	it	.	and	be	warned	:	as	a	result	,	we	don't	get	a	nice	,	tidy	conclusion	a	lot	of	threads	are	left	dangling	,	probably	deliberately	,	since	the	real	conclusion	of	the	movie	is	in	the	way	hackman's	character	handles	his	oncoming	fate	.	eventually	we	see	that	his	racism	is	not	so	much	a	philosophy	as	a	way	of	warding	off	terrible	grief	and	hurt	,	and	self	hatred	(	as	is	the	case	with	most	virulently	racist	people	,	they	compensate	violently	for	not	having	what	they	feel	should	be	simply	given	to	them	gratis	)	.	hall	(	played	by	chris	o'donnell	with	maturity	and	grace	)	also	has	a	transformation	of	his	own	,	but	a	smaller	one	:	sometimes	it's	not	possible	to	use	the	law	as	a	way	to	repair	what	has	gone	wrong	,	just	to	comment	on	it	.	he	resents	his	grandfather	for	using	the	same	tired	excuses	,	but	at	the	same	time	batters	patiently	at	the	man's	defenses	,	knowing	that	it's	only	a	matter	of	time	before	the	imminence	of	the	clock	will	get	him	to	say	something	true	to	his	heart	.	he	does	.
pos	rated	on	a	4	star	scale	screening	venue	:	odoen	(	liverpool	city	centre	)	released	in	the	uk	by	uip	on	april	7	,	2000	;	certificate	15	;	126	minutes	;	country	of	origin	usa	;	aspect	ratio	1	.	85	:	1	directed	by	stephen	soderbergh	;	produced	by	danny	devito	,	michael	shamberg	,	stacey	sher	.	written	by	susannah	grant	.	photographed	by	ed	lachmann	;	edited	by	anne	v	.	coates	.	it's	astounding	,	how	many	of	us	turn	into	lawyers	when	we	get	wrapped	up	in	cases	.	i	remember	the	louise	woodward	affair	,	for	example	,	when	i	knew	all	the	evidence	from	the	courtroom	pictures	on	tv	,	and	was	able	to	reel	off	detailed	arguments	crushing	people	who	had	just	looked	at	her	and	assumed	she	was	guilty	.	passion	about	justice	is	what	makes	people	consider	law	careers	;	it	chills	me	when	i	see	sell	outs	trying	to	condemn	obviously	innocent	people	,	or	using	dishonest	tactics	to	help	the	guilty	.	stephen	soderbergh's	"	erin	brockovich	"	is	a	brilliant	story	of	anger	turning	into	courtroom	skills	;	a	david	versus	goliath	style	expos	in	the	great	tradition	of	"	silkwood	"	,	"	a	civil	action	"	and	"	the	insider	"	.	at	its	centre	is	a	woman	with	no	judiciary	training	or	expertise	,	whose	mind	was	not	complicated	with	red	tape	or	histories	of	statutes	,	and	whose	discoveries	and	simple	logical	interpretations	helped	small	time	lawyers	win	one	of	the	biggest	lawsuits	in	american	history	.	her	name	,	of	course	,	is	erin	brockovich	(	julia	roberts	)	,	and	when	we	meet	her	in	the	opening	scenes	of	this	film	,	she's	just	a	struggling	single	mother	who	has	failed	to	win	a	personal	injury	settlement	.	soon	after	,	she	hustles	her	way	into	a	filing	job	at	the	firm	of	her	solicitor	.	the	boss	,	ed	masry	(	albert	finney	)	,	objects	,	but	erin	makes	her	services	hard	to	refuse	:	"	i	need	a	job	.	don't	make	me	beg	.	if	it	doesn't	work	out	,	fire	me	.	"	when	handling	the	real	estate	documents	of	a	town	in	california	,	erin	notices	something	odd	they	all	include	medical	records	.	researching	this	further	,	she	stumbles	on	the	information	that	the	area's	water	supplier	,	pacific	gas	electric	,	has	been	using	a	dangerous	chemical	known	as	'hexavalent	chromium	3'	in	their	pipes	.	'chromium	3'	can	penetrate	the	body	to	cause	pretty	much	any	illness	,	including	all	forms	of	cancer	.	what's	especially	horrific	is	that	pg	e	knew	about	the	hazards	of	their	water	and	misinformed	its	customers	that	chromium	was	good	for	them	.	the	people	took	the	company's	word	,	even	when	they	all	started	to	get	sick	,	until	erin	brockovich	revealed	her	findings	,	and	used	her	common	touch	to	encourage	the	folks	to	stand	up	and	take	legal	action	.	brockovich	is	not	always	a	likeable	character	.	at	the	start	of	the	movie	,	when	no	job	interviewers	will	look	past	her	lack	of	a	resum	or	qualifications	,	her	feeling	of	victimisation	is	preposterous	.	she	seems	to	think	anyone	who	isn't	stuck	in	the	poverty	trap	must	be	some	sort	of	snob	.	and	she	displays	gross	arrogance	when	defending	her	wardrobe	,	which	is	made	up	of	mini	skirts	,	tight	boob	tubes	and	high	heeled	boots	.	"	as	long	as	i	have	one	ass	instead	of	two	,	"	she	tells	masry	when	he	points	out	that	his	office	has	a	dress	code	,	"	i'll	wear	what	i	god	damn	well	please	.	"	but	none	of	these	flaws	take	away	from	her	achievement	,	which	is	that	she	worked	hard	,	taught	herself	some	tough	skills	,	became	a	great	friend	and	advocate	for	victims	of	an	abominable	crime	,	and	managed	to	raise	a	family	at	the	same	time	.	this	is	one	of	roberts's	most	impressive	performances	,	her	best	since	"	pretty	woman	"	(	1990	)	,	because	she	really	does	look	affected	by	the	pressures	her	character	has	to	cope	with	.	she	allows	herself	to	be	vulnerable	,	with	a	voice	that	can	quiver	and	stumble	.	she	doesn't	always	have	the	answers	,	and	could	break	down	at	any	minute	.	there	are	one	or	two	irritating	episodes	of	grandstanding	,	where	she	rattles	off	snappy	,	heroic	speeches	that	probably	took	the	screenwriter	hours	to	write	;	but	that's	kind	of	obligatory	,	and	i'm	just	glad	that	such	moments	don't	dominate	the	film	.	"	erin	brockovich	"	is	not	necessarily	better	than	the	films	i	previously	mentioned	,	but	has	advantages	over	each	of	them	in	one	way	or	another	.	it's	more	fast	paced	and	accessible	than	"	silkwood	"	,	angrier	about	its	subject	matter	than	"	a	civil	action	"	and	less	sidetracked	than	"	the	insider	"	.	i'm	starting	to	love	director	soderbergh's	new	visual	style	,	too	,	which	he	also	used	in	"	out	of	sight	"	,	and	mixes	the	colour	palette	and	star	power	of	big	studio	movies	with	the	documentary	camera	and	quiet	pacing	of	realistic	independents	.	sounds	distracting	.	but	it's	oddly	compelling	.	copyright	(	c	)	2000	ian	waldron	mantgani	please	visit	,	and	encourage	others	to	visit	,	the	uk	critic's	website	,	which	is	located	at	a	href	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	"	http	:	members	.	aol	.	com	ukcritic	a
pos	a	miramax	pictures	release	.	starring	robin	williams	,	matt	damon	,	ben	affleck	,	stellan	skarsgard	,	minnie	driver	,	casey	affleck	,	cole	hauser	,	george	plimpton	.	script	by	ben	affleck	and	matt	damon	.	produced	by	lawrence	bender	.	directed	by	gus	van	sant	.	running	time	:	125	mins	.	rated	r	.	"	good	will	hunting	"	is	two	movies	in	one	:	an	independent	take	on	the	struggle	of	four	boston	pals	and	a	traditional	hollywood	,	"	prodigy	child	"	film	complete	with	upbeats	,	downfalls	,	sporadically	moving	situations	and	plenty	,	plenty	of	shtick	.	unusually	directed	by	gus	van	sant	,	"	good	will	hunting	"	overcomes	the	banalities	of	its	story	by	affirming	the	emergence	of	fresh	,	new	talent	.	the	film	stars	matt	damon	as	will	hunting	as	a	mathematical	,	rebellious	whiz	kid	inadvertly	discovered	by	a	college	professor	(	stellan	skarsgard	)	,	who	places	him	under	psychological	supervision	with	robin	williams	.	in	a	nutshell	,	that's	it	.	the	core	of	the	"	good	will	hunting	"	is	damon	,	who	infuses	the	script	(	co	written	by	"	chasing	amy's	"	ben	affleck	)	with	just	the	right	amount	of	warmth	,	sensitivity	and	humanity	to	accentuate	his	position	as	a	refreshing	multi	talented	performer	.	but	it's	the	acting	that	hits	the	mark	,	and	damon	hits	all	the	right	notes	,	flying	over	robin	williams'	deja	vu	role	(	"	awakenings	"	was	written	all	over	this	)	as	a	devastated	shrink	who	has	closed	all	contact	with	society	due	to	his	wife's	tragic	death	.	damon	effortlessly	blends	the	carelesness	of	a	gregarious	,	confused	thug	with	the	absorbing	ingeniousness	of	someone	like	einstein	.	his	rich	,	complex	character	is	the	pulp	of	"	good	will	hunting	.	"	everything	else	pales	in	comparison	.	"	good	will	hunting	"	exposes	the	lack	of	profoundness	of	deliberately	schmaltzy	storytelling	,	but	,	unlike	"	little	man	tate	"	or	"	phenomenon	"	,	it	doesn't	set	up	its	story	in	a	black	and	white	,	point	a	to	point	b	be	manner	,	but	as	the	saga	of	an	extraordinary	individual	whose	feasibility	for	success	doesn't	automatically	signify	he	must	make	easy	,	familiar	choices	,	like	the	protagonists	in	the	aforementioned	.
pos	from	the	man	who	presented	us	with	henry	:	the	portrait	of	a	serial	killer	(	6	.	5	10	)	comes	a	wild	tale	set	within	the	elite	and	white	trash	of	florida's	south	coast	.	plot	:	guidance	counselor	(	dillon	)	is	accused	of	raping	one	of	his	students	.	she	happens	to	be	the	daughter	of	one	of	the	wealthiest	women	in	florida	.	the	counselor	is	brought	to	court	on	the	charges	,	as	another	white	trash	girl	(	campbell	)	,	also	joins	the	rape	finger	pointing	club	.	as	the	story	unfolds	,	we	find	that	many	things	aren't	exactly	as	they	seem	(	that's	as	much	as	i	could	say	without	ruining	anything	)	.	critique	:	good	little	flick	that	slows	down	at	certain	points	,	and	runs	a	tad	long	,	but	generates	enough	twists	and	turns	to	keep	most	people	interested	throughout	.	mind	you	,	i	could	see	many	people	not	liking	it	because	it	takes	"	one	too	many	"	twists	and	turns	,	but	hey	,	i	happen	to	like	that	kind	of	thing	.	and	besides	,	the	twists	and	turns	in	this	movie	managed	to	remain	within	the	realm	of	believability	(	or	scathingly	close	to	)	,	and	even	"	explained	"	many	of	its	turns	with	a	showcase	of	missed	scenes	during	the	credit	crawl	at	the	end	of	the	film	(	do	not	leave	the	theatre	before	you	see	the	credits	.	.	.	it	really	does	clear	up	some	stuff	!	!	)	.	other	than	that	,	the	acting	was	good	,	with	campbell	transforming	her	"	good	girl	stereotypical	"	role	into	a	pot	smoking	,	goth	looking	white	trash	chick	out	for	a	good	time	.	denise	richards	(	from	starship	troopers	(	7	10	)	fame	)	solidifies	herself	as	hollywood's	jelly	donut	pinup	girl	of	the	moment	,	and	proves	that	all	breast	implants	needn't	lead	to	lawsuits	.	bacon	is	solid	,	and	so	is	dillon	(	while	continuing	to	prove	his	inability	to	age	to	the	whole	wide	wondering	world	!	!	)	.	sprinkle	the	story	with	a	bunch	o'	shots	of	alligators	peeking	through	the	swamp	waters	,	bacon	showing	the	world	the	size	of	his	ding	dong	(	do	we	really	need	to	see	this	?	?	)	,	a	couple	of	lesbian	kissing	scenes	,	and	a	menage	a	trois	,	and	you've	got	yourself	a	decent	time	at	the	movie	theatre	.	on	the	down	side	,	the	soundtrack	was	not	as	prominent	(	or	slick	)	as	i	thought	it	would	be	,	and	theresa	russell	(	real	name	:	theresa	paup	)	seems	to	have	lost	her	way	in	every	which	way	possible	.	.	.	.	ooooh	,	i	almost	forgot	bill	murray's	exquisite	role	as	the	down	trodden	lawyer	who	agrees	to	defend	dillon	in	court	.	murray	actually	added	that	extra	little	spice	of	humour	that	allowed	this	film	to	affirm	its	position	as	a	quirky	little	noirish	tale	of	sex	,	greed	and	mystery	.	little	known	facts	:	neve	campbell	specified	a	non	nudity	clause	in	her	contract	(	she's	also	born	in	guelph	,	ontario	.	.	.	go	hoser	!	)	director	john	mcnaughton	says	he	deleted	a	scene	that	would	have	shown	matt	dillon	and	kevin	bacon	showering	together	,	as	it	was	gratuitous	.	kevin	bacon	plays	in	a	band	with	his	brother	,	called	the	bacon	brothers	,	is	married	to	actress	kyra	sedgwick	,	and	has	a	game	based	on	him	called	"	six	degrees	of	kevin	bacon	"	.
pos	okay	,	let	me	first	say	,	this	is	a	beavis	and	butthead	movie	.	if	you	do	not	like	beavis	and	butthead	,	do	not	go	to	see	this	movie	!	!	!	!	!	however	,	if	you	do	like	them	,	i	recommened	you	get	out	right	now	and	go	see	it	.	the	movie	starts	off	with	the	boys	wondering	what	happened	to	their	tv	.	they	notice	that	it	has	been	stolen	and	they	vow	to	find	it	.	this	wind	their	way	through	america	searching	for	dallas	(	she	is	a	woman	)	.	they	look	for	her	because	as	they	are	searching	for	the	tv	,	they	find	a	drunk	who	wants	them	"	to	do	"	his	wife	.	well	,	of	course	they	think	he	wants	them	to	score	with	her	when	actually	he	wants	them	to	kill	her	.	and	the	fun	starts	their	.	this	movie	is	a	mix	of	funny	gags	that	anly	beavis	and	butthead	could	pull	off	.	it	is	quality	entertainment	that	only	fan	of	beavis	and	butthead	would	enjoy	.	i	enjoyed	this	movie	alot	because	mike	judge	knew	how	to	keep	pace	.	even	when	they	were	crawling	through	the	desert	and	i	thought	the	movie	started	to	lag	,	he	manages	to	keep	the	laughs	coming	.	if	you	expecting	changes	from	the	show	keep	looking	.	the	same	character	,	the	same	voices	,	the	same	everything	from	the	show	and	that's	what	makes	it	good	.	you	might	think	with	a	movie	from	a	tv	show	,	you	can	change	a	few	things	.	often	times	this	spells	disaster	for	films	because	the	film	makers	veer	away	from	what	made	the	show	popular	in	the	first	place	!
pos	the	relaxed	dude	rides	a	roller	coasterthe	most	surreal	situations	are	ordinary	everyday	life	as	viewed	by	an	outsider	.	when	those	observers	are	joel	and	ethan	coen	,	the	surreal	becomes	bizarre	.	when	the	life	is	that	of	jeff	"	the	dude	"	leboswki	,	the	bizarre	falls	over	the	edge	into	the	world	of	"	what'sgoingonaroundhere	"	.	the	marvelous	sound	of	"	the	stranger	"	(	sam	elliot	)	's	voice	over	introduces	the	film	.	at	least	it	does	until	he	forgets	what	he	was	going	to	say	and	gives	up	.	the	dude	(	jeff	bridges	)	is	described	as	the	"	laziest	man	in	los	angeles	,	possibly	the	world	"	,	although	he's	not	so	much	slothful	as	he	is	relaxed	.	spending	the	last	30	years	with	a	roach	clip	in	one	hand	and	a	white	russian	in	the	other	,	he	doesn't	have	much	of	a	life	,	but	he's	having	a	good	time	.	when	asked	what	he	does	for	fun	,	he	responds	"	bowl	,	drive	around	and	the	occasional	acid	flashback	"	.	lebowski's	passion	is	bowling	.	when	he's	not	rolling	the	ball	down	an	alley	towards	a	strike	,	things	just	happen	to	him	.	arriving	home	one	night	,	he's	beaten	by	thugs	attempting	to	collect	money	that	his	wife	owes	them	.	even	worse	,	they	urinate	on	his	rug	.	the	problem	is	that	the	dude	doesn't	have	a	wife	.	his	assailants	realize	that	their	target	is	a	different	lebowski	when	they	glance	around	at	his	apartment	.	the	"	big	"	lebowski	(	david	huddleston	)	is	a	multi	millionaire	and	his	dudeness	lives	in	two	room	squalor	.	the	next	day	,	our	ragtag	hero	visits	his	namesake's	mansion	attempting	compensation	for	his	soaked	rug	.	the	carpet	is	important	to	him	because	it	pulls	the	room	together	:	not	surprisingly	since	it's	virtually	the	only	object	there	.	when	he's	denied	any	money	,	he	picks	up	a	replacement	rug	off	the	floor	.	on	his	way	out	,	he	runs	into	lebowski's	trophy	babe	wife	bunny	(	tara	reid	)	who	offers	to	perform	a	sexual	act	that	,	according	to	rumor	,	is	one	of	bill	clinton's	favorites	for	a	thousand	bucks	.	the	penniless	dude	wisecracks	that	he's	heading	for	the	cash	machine	.	later	he	gets	an	unexpected	phone	call	enlisting	his	aid	in	being	the	bag	man	to	deliver	a	ransom	to	bunny's	kidnappers	.	this	begins	the	trademarked	coen	brothers	crimes	gone	wrong	sequences	.	the	kidnappers	are	impossibly	inept	.	the	dude	and	his	cronies	are	even	worse	.	every	plan	goes	awry	.	you	can	almost	see	lebowski's	brain	churning	in	slow	motion	as	he	tries	to	figure	out	the	clues	.	that's	the	story	,	but	to	tell	the	truth	it	doesn't	much	matter	.	there	could	be	almost	any	plot	and	the	film	would	be	just	as	entertaining	.	the	narrative	only	exists	so	we	can	watch	the	offbeat	characters	and	the	quirky	predicaments	they	fall	into	.	the	dude's	bowling	buddies	walter	(	john	goodman	)	and	donny	(	steve	buscemi	)	look	like	people	you'd	see	on	the	street	but	,	like	everything	else	in	this	film	,	they're	not	quite	what	they	seem	.	walter	is	a	vet	as	stuck	in	vietnam	as	the	dude	is	in	the	sixties	.	everything	that	happens	reminds	him	of	a	situation	in	the	nam	.	when	a	fellow	bowler	crosses	the	foul	line	but	won't	admit	it	,	walter	pulls	a	gun	on	him	until	he	marks	a	zero	on	the	score	sheet	.	donny	gets	precious	few	words	in	between	walter's	screaming	and	the	dude's	rambling	.	when	he	does	,	walter	shouts	him	down	with	horrendous	albeit	seemingly	unintentional	bowling	puns	.	donny	is	"	out	of	his	league	"	and	doesn't	"	have	a	frame	of	reference	"	.	the	film	is	peppered	with	people	for	whom	the	term	"	character	"	would	be	an	understatement	.	the	big	lebowski's	daughter	maude	,	an	avant	garde	"	vaginal	"	artist	,	paints	while	swinging	naked	in	a	leather	apparatus	like	an	s	m	mary	martin	.	the	kidnappers	are	german	techno	nihilist	bikers	.	bunny	lebowski	is	a	high	school	cheerleader	turned	porno	star	.	most	impressive	is	john	turturro	in	his	far	too	small	role	as	a	hispanic	bowler	.	as	the	flamenco	music	swells	,	we	see	him	putting	on	his	lavender	hose	.	the	camera	pans	up	to	an	all	purple	skin	tight	bowling	outfit	with	"	jesus	"	(	pronounced	with	a	"	j	"	,	not	an	"	h	"	)	embroidered	on	the	pocket	.	he	addresses	the	lane	with	intense	seriousness	and	one	painted	fingernail	.	his	tongue	slowly	snakes	out	and	lovingly	licks	the	glowing	bowling	ball	.	bridges	works	the	dude	as	if	he	had	been	living	him	for	decades	and	maybe	he	has	.	i	can't	think	of	anyone	else	who	could	have	done	a	better	job	.	buscemi	has	a	limited	role	,	but	he	plays	it	perfectly	.	the	more	that	i	see	john	goodman	the	more	convinced	i	am	that	he's	one	of	the	treasures	of	our	time	.	it's	odd	to	think	that	most	of	the	world	knows	him	only	as	roseanne	barr's	television	husband	.	more	like	the	coen's	"	raising	arizona	"	than	their	hit	"	fargo	"	,	"	the	big	lebowski	"	demands	an	open	mind	and	even	more	open	eyes	.	a	mark	of	the	coen	brothers	is	that	even	with	all	wonderful	dream	sequences	and	the	broad	slapstick	physical	comedy	on	the	screen	,	much	of	the	humor	is	subtle	and	easy	to	miss	.	there's	so	much	going	on	that	frequently	it	disappears	before	you	can	see	it	.	walking	out	of	the	theater	,	i	felt	that	the	film	had	something	important	to	say	.	on	further	examination	,	i	wasn't	sure	exactly	what	it	was	.	"	if	you	meet	jesus	at	the	bowling	alley	,	it's	not	going	to	be	what	you	expect	"	?	"	when	the	going	gets	weird	,	the	weird	go	bowling	"	?	maybe	there's	no	real	message	.	perhaps	it's	just	a	roller	coaster	ride	through	a	hilarious	world	.	maybe	that's	enough	.	(	michael	redman	has	written	this	column	for	23	years	and	just	realized	that	he	was	so	taken	with	the	dude	that	he	ran	out	of	space	to	talk	about	"	the	man	in	the	iron	mask	"	starring	that	favorite	of	14	year	old	girls	of	all	ages	.	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	is	the	eaddress	for	estuff	.	)	this	appeared	in	the	3	19	98	"	bloomington	voice	"	,	bloomington	,	indiana	.	michael	redman	can	be	contacted	at	a	href	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	a	href	"	mailto	:	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	"	mailto	:	redman	bvoice	.	com	a	this	week's	film	review	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	bvoice	.	com	a	film	reviews	archive	at	a	href	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	"	http	:	us	.	imdb	.	com	m	reviews	_	by	?	michael	20redman	a
pos	capsule	:	perversely	entertaining	hong	kong	action	with	the	god	of	gamblers	himself	,	chow	yun	fat	.	mira	sorvino	ain't	bad	either	,	but	the	main	attraction	is	the	movie's	glossy	look	.	chow	yun	fat	commands	the	screen	the	way	very	few	actors	do	,	no	matter	where	they're	from	.	see	him	in	the	dozens	of	other	movies	he's	done	for	the	hong	kong	studios	(	and	hang	yourself	if	you	haven't	seen	him	in	john	woo's	masterpieces	the	killer	and	hard	boiled	)	.	he	is	one	of	the	few	cult	movie	figures	who	lives	up	to	and	beyond	the	hype	.	in	the	replacement	killers	,	he	strides	onscreen	as	if	just	coming	in	from	another	hk	production	without	losing	a	beat	.	hk	fan	that	i	am	,	i	held	my	breath	in	anticipation	of	this	movie	for	quite	some	time	.	the	replacement	killers	was	designed	to	be	chow's	big	u	.	s	.	debut	vehicle	,	but	it	also	serves	as	the	debut	for	director	antoine	fuqua	(	whose	only	previous	directorial	job	was	the	"	gangster's	paradise	"	video	for	coolio	)	.	both	director	and	actor	have	veteran	confidence	in	this	movie	,	which	helps	to	buoy	it	all	up	out	of	the	routine	and	into	the	realm	of	the	special	.	the	plot	is	not	the	main	attraction	.	chow	plays	a	hitman	who	crumbles	when	faced	with	the	prospect	of	having	to	ice	a	policeman	,	and	decides	to	flee	the	country	.	to	that	end	,	he	enlists	mira	sorvino's	character	a	tattooed	forgery	artist	who	lives	in	an	apartment	that	looks	like	a	close	cousin	to	the	one	j	.	f	.	sebastian	inhabited	in	blade	runner	.	then	bad	guys	with	tons	of	firepower	come	gunning	for	both	of	them	,	and	they	have	to	hit	the	road	.	fuqua	knows	his	hk	action	staples	.	the	movie	is	saturated	with	highly	choreographed	violence	.	the	whole	movie	glows	and	glitters	:	shattering	glass	,	guns	blazing	,	false	color	shots	from	inside	a	gun	as	a	round	is	chambered	.	sparks	shoot	as	high	tension	lines	give	when	bodies	fall	on	them	.	metal	crumples	as	cars	slam	into	each	other	,	reflecting	the	moody	green	and	yellow	lighting	in	an	underground	parking	garage	.	sunglasses	glint	.	put	simply	,	if	you	don't	like	movies	where	these	things	all	figure	in	abundance	,	stay	home	.	if	you	do	,	buy	three	copies	.	you'll	wear	them	all	out	soon	enough	.	chow	and	sorvino's	characters	do	not	like	each	other	very	much	it's	hard	to	like	someone	who	seems	to	be	responsible	for	getting	your	place	torched	but	they	form	a	mutual	respect	which	is	credible	on	screen	,	and	work	together	to	get	themselves	out	of	trouble	.	there's	also	a	good	supporting	role	by	michael	rooker	(	remember	him	from	henry	:	portrait	of	a	serial	killer	?	)	as	a	cop	who	tries	to	put	everything	together	from	the	outside	,	and	yet	another	wonderfully	stolid	bad	guy	role	courtesy	of	jurgen	prochnow	.	the	replacement	killers	is	all	surface	,	but	it's	a	wonderful	surface	to	look	at	.	good	show	all	around	.	now	let's	see	chow	and	fuqua	in	something	a	little	more	substantial	.	i	know	chow	can	handle	it	.
pos	if	there	has	been	a	better	comedy	of	errors	this	year	than	i'd	reccomend	it	be	shown	with	this	delightful	french	import	from	the	director	of	la	cage	aux	folles	.	it	could	be	a	laugh	all	day	film	festival	,	because	that's	exactly	what	this	movie	is	.	what	seems	like	the	french	"	bean	"	turns	out	to	be	an	even	more	hilarious	romp	.	this	movie	will	have	you	laughing	for	days	after	,	and	i'm	glad	i'm	able	to	share	this	review	with	you	.	a	man	is	on	a	train	with	francois	pignon	(	villeret	)	when	he	begins	to	pull	out	pictures	of	different	things	he	has	built	out	of	matches	.	guess	how	many	matches	it	took	?	he	asks	,	364	,	422	!	pierre	is	charmed	,	because	he's	found	an	idiot	for	his	friend	pierre	brochant	(	lhermitte	.	)	every	wednesday	they	invite	an	idiot	to	have	dinner	in	order	to	make	fun	of	him	all	evening	.	tonight	it's	his	turn	,	and	before	now	,	he	was	idiotless	.	plus	,	this	guy	is	in	a	class	of	his	own	.	pierre	cracks	his	back	while	playing	golf	,	the	doctor	tells	him	not	to	go	to	the	dinner	for	his	better	health	but	since	his	idiot	is	the	cream	of	the	crop	he	attempts	to	go	anyway	.	then	his	wife	christine	(	alexandra	vandernoot	)	decides	to	leave	him	for	his	cruelty	for	others	.	he	thinks	he's	gone	to	the	man	he	stole	her	from	,	then	decides	she's	at	a	local	love	club	.	but	in	order	get	the	phone	number	there	they	have	to	call	a	tax	auditor	.	the	idiot	worsens	pierre's	back	problems	and	screws	up	any	of	his	chances	of	getting	back	together	with	his	wife	.	a	complex	plot	is	soon	laid	out	in	the	household	.	another	film	from	veber	that	is	full	to	the	brim	with	original	comic	ideas	.	name	one	comedy	that	takes	happens	in	one	place	,	in	a	foreign	language	,	and	that	is	incredibly	funny	.	one	of	the	best	parts	about	the	dinner	game	(	besides	that	cool	looking	animation	that	showcases	the	titles	and	credits	for	the	film	)	is	the	fact	that	while	it's	called	the	dinner	game	,	there	is	no	dinner	or	no	game	at	all	.	the	film's	comedy	owes	almost	everything	to	villeret	,	he's	someone	you	can	just	look	at	and	laugh	.	when	the	film	is	remade	in	the	us	(	with	robin	williams	as	the	idiot	)	it	will	probably	lose	all	of	the	charm	and	the	wit	that	is	featured	here	.	the	supporting	cast	is	good	,	but	it's	obvious	who's	in	the	center	of	attention	.	so	,	go	see	the	dinner	game	while	you	can	,	this	funny	,	original	,	and	interesting	french	comedy	gets	1	2	stars	.
pos	capsule	:	jackie	chan	teams	up	with	his	old	buddy	sammo	hung	to	give	us	another	zero	calorie	fight	fest	.	gloriously	foolish	fun	.	my	wife	had	this	to	say	about	mr	.	nice	guy	:	"	as	entertainment	,	it's	great	.	as	a	movie	,	it	sucks	.	"	i	was	forced	to	agree	:	the	plot	was	an	afterthought	,	the	acting	was	hopeless	,	the	script	a	throwaway	.	but	it	showcased	jackie	chan's	raucous	physical	comedy	"	martial	arts	"	is	the	wrong	word	for	it	and	was	therefore	more	than	worth	it	.	it	isn't	the	all	out	roar	of	joy	that	rumble	in	the	bronx	and	especially	supercop	were	,	but	it's	still	great	fun	.	most	movies	that	feature	martial	arts	action	are	about	the	giving	and	receiving	of	violent	pain	.	jackie	has	a	slightly	goofier	agenda	,	and	is	all	the	better	for	it	even	if	he's	in	a	paper	thin	story	.	the	plot	(	what	a	word	!	)	:	jackie	is	a	tv	chef	living	in	australia	who	specializes	in	on	screen	acrobatics	with	his	food	.	one	day	he	collides	with	a	journalist	who's	just	filmed	a	drug	deal	that	ended	in	violence	,	and	there's	a	mix	up	of	tapes	.	this	of	course	puts	him	right	in	the	path	of	an	endless	stream	of	punks	,	henchmen	,	cigar	smoking	baddies	,	and	cops	.	that's	about	it	but	ther	are	a	host	of	tiny	little	departures	,	like	his	girlfriend	(	miki	lee	)	and	his	female	assistant	,	who	have	a	howlingly	funny	scene	that	,	due	to	language	barriers	,	cannot	be	repeated	here	.	some	things	you	gotta	see	to	believe	.	jackie's	stuntwork	needs	a	new	vocabulary	to	describe	it	:	it's	like	play	,	or	maybe	a	kind	of	dance	.	one	scene	has	jackie	getting	into	a	fight	in	traffic	on	top	of	a	flood	of	pepsi	cans	.	another	scene	involves	an	unfinished	building	and	a	whole	maze	of	doors	opening	into	empty	rooms	and	corridors	.	hung	(	who	directed	)	plays	it	like	an	homage	to	the	road	runner	and	wile	e	.	coyote	cartoons	.	(	hung	also	films	things	a	little	more	loosely	and	fluidly	than	staney	tong	did	:	we	get	a	lot	of	steadicam	work	,	lots	of	things	going	on	in	different	sectors	of	the	screen	.	)	another	,	even	more	mind	boggling	scene	,	involves	jackie	being	forced	to	fight	with	henchmen	holding	his	limbs	back	with	bungee	cords	.	(	yes	,	he	manages	to	get	the	upper	hand	with	that	one	as	well	.	don't	ask	how	.	)	the	final	scene	gives	us	the	grand	guignol	(	sans	blood	)	ending	that	a	movie	like	this	deserves	.	here's	a	hint	:	in	the	first	five	minutes	,	we	see	a	giant	earth	moving	vehicle	used	to	bury	someone	.	seeing	a	thing	like	that	in	a	movie	like	this	is	(	to	quote	roger	ebert	)	like	camille	coughing	in	the	first	reel	and	not	dying	in	the	last	:	it	has	to	make	an	encore	.	i	was	right	.	only	this	time	,	jackie	was	driving	.
pos	cast	:	dennis	quaid	,	james	caviezel	,	shawn	doyle	,	elizabeth	mitchell	,	andre	braugher	,	noah	emmerich	written	by	:	toby	emmerich	directed	by	:	gregory	hoblit	running	time	:	117	minutes	when	you	go	to	the	movies	as	much	as	i	do	,	you	unfortunately	end	up	seeing	certain	movie	trailers	one	too	many	times	.	such	was	the	case	with	frequency	.	every	time	i	went	to	a	screening	,	there	was	the	frequency	preview	.	it	looked	awful	.	it	looked	cheesy	,	sappy	and	ridiculous	.	it	looked	like	a	flop	.	well	,	whoever	put	that	trailer	together	should	be	fired	,	because	in	terms	of	pure	entertainment	,	frequency	is	one	of	the	best	of	the	year	thus	far	.	frequency	boasts	a	compelling	story	line	.	an	occurrence	of	freakish	solar	activity	allows	police	detective	john	sullivan	(	james	caviezel	)	to	speak	to	his	fireman	father	frank	sullivan	(	dennis	quaid	)	through	a	ham	radio	,	despite	the	fact	that	frank	has	been	dead	for	30	years	.	john	is	able	to	give	his	father	information	that	prevents	his	death	in	a	warehouse	fire	,	but	by	doing	so	causes	other	changes	.	somehow	,	a	serial	killer's	reign	of	terror	,	which	in	the	original	timeline	had	been	stopped	at	three	murders	,	extends	to	ten	victims	.	.	.	including	john's	mother	.	this	is	director	gregory	hoblit's	third	film	(	the	other	two	being	primal	fear	and	fallen	)	.	with	all	three	,	he's	managed	to	attach	himself	to	great	scripts	(	this	one	by	toby	emmerich	,	whose	only	previous	movie	experience	was	as	a	music	supervisor	on	numerous	new	line	films	)	and	add	equally	great	direction	.	also	,	he	apparently	likes	to	have	his	films	wrap	up	with	a	kick	ass	ending	.	frequency	is	no	exception	,	the	ending	is	unpredictable	and	incredibly	satisfying	.	hoblit	is	three	for	three	,	and	i	hope	he	can	keep	it	up	.	now	everyone	can	argue	logic	this	and	logic	that	all	you	want	with	the	sci	fi	elements	of	frequency	.	but	the	fact	of	the	matter	is	that	time	travel	has	never	been	achieved	.	who's	to	say	how	something	works	and	how	it	doesn't	when	it's	never	happened	?	is	it	because	we've	become	accustomed	to	time	travel	"	laws	"	from	other	places	like	"	star	trek	"	and	the	back	to	the	future	trilogy	and	"	quantum	leap	"	?	yes	,	if	you	sit	down	and	think	about	it	,	certain	plot	elements	in	this	film	probably	won't	make	any	sense	.	most	films	are	like	that	.	don't	let	that	dissuade	you	from	seeing	this	fantastically	entertaining	film	however	.	when	frequency	was	over	,	it	made	me	wish	i	had	seen	it	with	my	father	so	i	could	have	given	him	a	hug	(	okay	okay	,	shut	up	)	.	when	you	break	it	down	past	all	its	sci	fi	elements	and	serial	killer	antics	,	frequency	is	simply	a	movie	about	a	father	and	his	son	and	the	bond	that	they	share	.	it's	touching	,	it's	sincere	,	and	it's	what	ultimately	makes	this	movie	work	.	pg	13	reviewed	by	chuck	dowling	a	href	"	mailto	:	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	"	chuckd21	fdn	.	com	a	aol	instant	messenger	:	filmjax	the	jacksonville	film	journal	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	jaxfilmjournal	.	com	a
pos	starring	kirk	douglas	,	william	bendix	,	lee	grantkirk	douglas	is	one	of	those	rare	american	actors	who	can	say	more	with	a	simple	glance	than	most	can	say	with	pages	of	dialogue	.	all	he	has	to	do	is	look	at	someone	with	a	raised	eyebrow	,	and	you	instantly	know	what	he's	thinking	.	"	detective	story	"	features	one	of	kirk	douglas's	finest	performances	.	he	stars	as	a	new	york	detective	that	has	his	whole	world	fall	apart	in	one	night	.	the	film	is	based	on	a	play	,	and	this	is	quite	evident	,	as	most	of	the	movie	takes	place	in	the	one	room	flat	that	the	detective's	work	in	.	the	film	opens	with	the	douglas	character	getting	ready	to	go	home	to	his	wife	,	but	through	a	series	of	events	,	he	never	quite	makes	it	there	.	the	bulk	of	the	movie	follows	the	case	of	a	man	named	schneider	,	a	surgeon	who	routinely	performs	abortions	with	a	high	fatality	rate	.	however	,	this	schneider	character	has	a	connection	in	the	past	of	douglas's	wife	;	a	connection	douglas	himself	is	not	aware	of	.	many	secrets	are	revealed	in	the	last	half	hour	of	this	film	.	secrets	i	would	not	dream	of	giving	away	.	with	a	name	like	"	detective	story	"	,	one	would	assume	the	film	would	resemble	an	episode	of	"	nypd	blue	"	,	but	it	doesn't	quite	work	out	that	way	.	however	,	we	do	see	douglas	at	work	on	a	few	other	cases	throughout	the	running	time	.	lee	grant	(	virtually	unrecognizable	)	plays	a	meek	jewish	woman	arrested	for	shoplifting	.	her	scenes	with	bendix	,	another	detective	,	provide	the	movie	with	a	few	laughs	.	the	performances	all	around	are	fantastic	.	douglas	may	be	the	leader	of	this	ensemble	,	but	he's	not	the	center	of	attention	all	the	time	.	we	get	to	catch	a	glimpse	into	other	cases	and	other	detectives	working	on	those	cases	.	which	brings	me	back	to	douglas	.	he	has	a	really	emotional	scene	towards	the	end	of	the	picture	that	really	makes	you	feel	for	him	.	we	can	see	that	this	is	a	man	who	has	spent	his	whole	life	trying	to	eliminate	crime	,	but	has	finally	realized	that	what	he's	really	done	is	gotten	back	at	his	criminal	father	.	how	he	handles	coming	to	terms	with	this	is	something	really	worth	seeing	.	kirk	douglas	is	the	kind	of	actor	we	don't	seem	to	see	to	much	of	these	days	:	he's	a	tough	guy	,	but	the	human	elements	are	never	hidden	too	deeply	underneath	that	gruff	exterior	.
pos	"	a	dream	of	dark	and	troubling	things	.	"	david	lynchthere	are	those	who	say	"	eraserhead	"	makes	little	sense	,	and	then	there	are	those	who	say	that	"	eraserhead	"	isn't	supposed	to	make	sense	.	i'm	with	the	second	camp	:	if	"	eraserhead	"	made	any	sense	at	all	,	it	wouldn't	be	nearly	as	interesting	.	"	eraserhead	"	is	allegedly	a	horror	movie	,	but	i	put	it	instead	on	that	small	shelf	of	films	that	abandon	all	pretense	at	being	entertainment	and	just	give	you	an	experience	:	"	begotten	"	,	"	the	reflecting	skin	"	and	alejandro	jodorowsky's	head	trips	(	"	el	topo	"	,	"	the	magic	mountain	"	)	are	close	cousins	in	spirit	to	this	film	.	there	is	a	story	,	sort	of	.	henry	spencer	(	lynch	regular	john	nance	)	is	a	nerdish	,	creepy	looking	man	living	in	a	squalid	little	apartment	.	he's	accidentally	impregnated	his	girlfriend	,	and	the	baby	turns	out	to	be	a	vile	little	creature	that	looks	something	like	e	.	t	.	after	thalidomide	.	the	news	about	the	pregnancy	,	by	the	way	,	comes	out	during	a	dinner	where	the	main	course	consists	of	chickens	the	size	of	one's	fist	that	still	move	and	spurt	blood	when	sliced	into	.	there's	also	a	strangely	deformed	woman	who	seems	to	live	in	henry's	radiator	.	.	.	and	by	this	point	you're	either	shaking	your	head	in	dismay	or	wondering	where	to	find	the	movie	.	i	guess	that	means	i've	done	my	job	.	"	eraserhead	"	needs	to	be	seen	on	the	big	screen	to	work	properly	.	on	tv	,	the	black	on	black	photography	this	is	the	single	darkest	movie	ever	made	,	and	i	don't	just	mean	in	terms	of	subject	matter	!	reproduces	very	poorly	.	also	,	on	tv	,	the	black	and	white	images	don't	saturate	the	senses	the	way	they	do	in	a	theater	.	there's	also	the	most	creative	use	of	sound	in	almost	any	movie	i've	ever	seen	:	not	a	single	scene	in	the	film	is	silent	.	there's	always	something	rumbling	,	hissing	,	clattering	,	bubbling	,	booming	away	in	either	the	background	or	the	next	room	over	,	and	it	has	the	same	effect	on	the	audience's	nerves	as	a	dentist's	drill	.	before	david	lynch	started	screwing	with	america's	mind	via	"	blue	velvet	"	and	"	twin	peaks	"	,	he	spent	five	years	,	on	and	off	,	making	"	eraserhead	"	.	it	shows	.	there	is	a	level	of	obsessive	care	in	every	frame	of	this	film	that	many	movies	costing	hundreds	of	times	more	don't	show	at	all	.	people	may	wonder	:	if	this	thing's	so	weird	and	so	repulsive	,	why	did	i	give	it	three	and	a	half	stars	?	because	it	dares	to	be	different	and	succeeds	.	i	don't	automatically	reward	every	movie	that's	"	experimental	"	with	a	positive	review	,	but	they	sure	deserve	the	benefit	of	the	doubt	.	posted	via	deja	news	,	the	discussion	network	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	dejanews	.	com	a	search	,	read	,	discuss	,	or	start	your	own
pos	for	more	reviews	and	movie	trailers	,	visit	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	"	http	:	www	.	joblo	.	com	a	plot	:	a	big	time	momma's	boy	can't	seem	to	leave	his	mother's	crib	and	make	good	on	the	babies	that	he	himself	has	produced	in	the	world	.	he	visits	his	kids	(	and	their	mommas	)	every	now	and	then	,	but	his	main	goal	in	life	is	.	.	.	well	,	he	doesn't	have	any	goals	.	then	one	day	,	his	mother	gets	an	ex	gangsta	boyfriend	and	suddenly	he	isn't	as	welcome	anymore	in	his	own	house	.	it	isn't	long	after	that	,	that	his	girlfriends	start	realizing	what	a	jerk	he	really	is	and	well	.	.	.	it's	either	time	to	grow	up	or	bow	down	!	critique	:	first	things	first	!	this	movie	ain't	about	the	"	hood	"	at	all	,	it's	an	intelligent	film	about	love	,	relationships	,	family	,	friendship	,	maturity	and	growing	up	.	do	not	avoid	this	film	because	you	think	it's	about	gangbangers	and	stuff	,	because	it	isn't	at	all	.	it's	about	you	,	it's	about	me	,	it's	about	your	girlfriend	,	your	mother	,	your	problems	and	your	inability	to	face	up	to	your	responsibilities	and	to	,	well	.	.	.	grow	up	!	this	is	an	extremely	well	written	film	,	with	some	of	the	most	developed	characters	that	i've	seen	on	the	screen	all	year	,	with	superb	acting	performances	to	match	.	granted	,	the	film	does	start	a	little	slow	(	and	go	a	little	long	)	,	but	hang	in	there	,	because	once	you	appreciate	and	get	to	know	all	of	its	characters	,	you	will	be	glad	that	you	did	.	this	isn't	a	kid's	movie	.	this	is	about	the	step	that	you	need	to	take	in	order	to	pass	into	full	"	adulthood	"	and	some	might	not	appreciate	the	grander	theme	behind	that	step	.	i	certainly	did	,	because	i	too	passed	,	and	am	passing	,	through	many	of	these	very	same	things	right	now	(	yeah	,	yeah	,	i	still	live	with	my	momma	!	!	)	and	related	to	a	lot	of	the	events	that	went	down	in	this	flick	(	oh	yeah	,	and	for	the	record	,	i'm	not	black	but	that	made	absolutely	zero	difference	in	this	case	)	.	but	that's	not	even	half	the	story	.	you	see	,	the	film	is	damn	funny	,	too	.	.	.	and	i	mean	,	damn	funny	!	i	was	crackin'	up	at	almost	every	other	scene	,	and	they	weren't	"	set	up	jokes	"	like	your	typical	comedies	either	,	just	day	to	day	things	that	we	could	all	relate	to	(	like	the	scene	in	which	ving	rhames	is	"	drinking	koolaid	"	in	the	kitchen	and	his	infamously	improvised	"	african	squat	f	k	"	scene	,	which	you	just	gotta	see	to	believe	!	)	and	there	are	the	performances	,	too	.	ving	rhames	,	now	here's	a	man	who	has	already	established	an	early	lead	in	the	race	for	best	supporting	actor	at	the	end	of	this	year	.	damn	dude	,	you	scared	the	shit	outta	me	!	tyrese	gibson	,	i	have	no	idea	where	this	guy	came	from	(	an	r	b	singer	and	mtv	vj	,	you	say	.	.	.	hmmmm	?	)	,	but	other	than	his	uncanny	resemblance	to	taye	diggs	,	he	nailed	this	part	to	the	tee	.	from	scene	one	on	,	i	was	glued	to	his	performance	and	sympathized	with	his	character	as	he	molded	and	shaped	himself	into	the	person	that	he	hoped	to	become	one	day	.	and	everyone	else	,	too	.	gibson's	girlfriend	in	the	film	,	taraji	henson	,	made	me	a	backer	with	her	many	subtle	touches	,	all	of	which	helped	raise	her	character	several	levels	above	the	"	typical	"	bitchie	girlfriend	that	we've	seen	in	many	of	these	relationship	movies	.	but	that's	the	thing	that	i	liked	the	most	about	this	movie	.	everyone	seemed	real	,	the	situations	felt	authentic	,	the	characters	all	came	across	as	people	like	you	and	me	with	issues	and	struggles	and	hopes	and	fears	.	i	liked	this	movie	a	lot	because	it	was	masterfully	written	,	wonderfully	acted	and	genuinely	entertaining	to	watch	.	and	yeah	,	i	even	liked	the	whole	homage	to	boyz	'n	the	hood	that	singleton	pulled	off	in	the	end	(	he	called	this	movie	a	"	companion	piece	"	to	that	film	)	.	a	very	solid	follow	up	to	an	ever	greater	original	,	baby	boy	is	a	film	to	be	seen	by	anyone	who	feels	like	they	never	wanna	grow	up	.	note	:	the	guy	who	plays	jody's	best	friend	in	this	movie	is	omar	gooding	,	cuba	gooding	jr	.	's	younger	brother	(	cuba	starred	in	1991's	boyz	'n	the	hood	)	.	where's	joblo	coming	from	?	the	best	man	(	8	10	)	brothers	(	5	10	)	shaft	(	7	10	)	summer	of	sam	(	7	10	)	what's	cooking	(	7	10	)
pos	dogma	(	out	of	four	)	a	review	by	bill	chambers	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	bill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	"	bill	filmfreakcentral	.	net	a	)	starring	linda	fiorentino	,	matt	damon	,	ben	affleck	,	chris	rock	written	and	directed	by	kevin	smith	linda	fiorentino	disappeared	off	the	radar	after	a	deservedly	heralded	turn	in	the	cable	pic	the	last	seduction	,	and	her	being	cast	as	dogma's	lead	is	nothing	short	of	inexplicable	.	she's	still	in	fine	form	as	bethany	,	an	abortion	clinic	worker	who's	lost	her	faith	.	one	night	,	a	visitor	from	heaven	makes	a	fiery	entrance	in	bethany's	bedroom	.	he	is	metatron	(	alan	rickman	)	,	the	voice	of	god	,	and	he	needs	her	help	:	she	must	stop	two	fallen	angels	from	entering	a	new	jersey	church	the	fate	of	the	universe	depends	on	it	.	god	would	do	it	him	herself	,	but	he	she	is	.	.	.	missing	,	having	taken	up	human	form	somewhere	on	earth	never	to	be	heard	from	again	.	bethany	is	joined	on	her	road	trip	to	the	garden	state	by	the	"	prophets	"	jay	(	jason	mewes	)	and	silent	bob	(	kevin	smith	,	doing	double	duty	)	,	the	slacker	minstrels	who	have	appeared	in	all	of	smith's	films	thus	far	.	at	some	point	,	rock	drops	naked	out	of	the	sky	as	rufus	,	the	undocumented	(	and	very	black	)	"	thirteenth	apostle	"	,	and	offers	his	assistance	,	as	does	divine	stripper	serendipity	(	salma	hayek	)	.	it's	a	wild	ride	.	they're	in	pursuit	of	loki	and	bartleby	(	damon	and	affleck	,	respectively	this	is	probably	the	sharpest	either	has	ever	been	)	,	who	were	banished	from	heaven	to	wisconsin	and	have	discovered	a	dogmatic	loophole	that	will	enable	their	return	.	loki	decides	to	wreak	havoc	along	the	way	with	the	knowledge	that	his	sins	will	be	absolved	at	the	pearly	gates	.	at	one	point	,	he	terrorizes	a	boardroom	full	of	suits	with	an	angry	combination	of	words	and	bullets	.	it's	a	nasty	,	guiltily	enjoyable	little	scene	that	asks	,	"	how	corrupt	are	you	?	"	.	wings	of	desire	this	ain't	.	since	debuting	with	clerks	,	smith	has	grown	as	a	director	,	particularly	in	terms	of	working	with	actors	.	(	chris	rock	is	this	film's	only	weak	link	between	jokes	,	he's	wooden	.	)	his	no	frills	visual	style	hasn't	changed	much	over	the	years	,	though	(	dogma's	widescreen	compositions	at	least	have	blockbuster	affectations	)	,	nor	has	his	writing	his	characters	still	sit	around	delivering	one	caustic	,	hilarious	speech	after	another	.	dogma	chips	away	at	big	religious	issues	namely	,	the	hypocrisy	that	accompanies	any	organized	system	of	beliefs	eloquently	and	articulately	,	but	a	few	of	the	monologues	sound	too	much	like	blatant	exposition	.	as	well	,	the	verbal	introduction	of	each	new	person	seems	to	take	forever	.	any	movie	with	this	much	weighty	talk	would	have	a	hard	time	maintaining	momentum	(	hurlyburly	,	anyone	?	)	,	and	eventually	dogma's	pacing	goes	slack	.	a	long	diatribe	from	bartleby	late	in	the	game	,	in	which	he	laments	the	destiny	of	celestial	beings	,	comes	at	a	point	when	we've	heard	enough	.	because	his	change	of	heart	(	bartleby	is	initially	the	good	cop	to	loki's	bad	)	drives	the	climax	,	said	rant	is	given	a	great	deal	of	screen	time	.	sure	,	affleck	deserved	a	big	moment	(	damon	steals	their	scenes	together	prior	)	,	but	it	ultimately	makes	the	film	and	us	feel	bloated	.	like	tarantino	,	smith	was	a	video	age	sponge	who	became	a	sample	mad	indie	filmmaker	.	dogma	pays	welcome	homage	to	an	eclectic	batch	of	movies	,	including	indiana	jones	and	the	last	crusade	,	with	silent	bob	doing	his	best	harrison	ford	,	and	weird	science	a	shit	demon	attacks	our	heroes	!	smith	also	has	a	kitchen	sink	brand	of	humour	:	his	dexterous	maneuvering	between	the	satirical	(	a	cardinal	played	by	george	carlin	attempts	to	mount	a	publicity	campaign	with	the	slogan	"	catholicism	wow	!	"	)	and	the	scatalogical	ensures	that	no	lover	of	comedy	will	leave	dogma	feeling	malnourished	.	i	bust	(	ed	?	)	a	gut	on	several	occasions	.	proceedings	also	get	off	on	the	right	foot	with	the	opening	with	the	funniest	disclaimer	ever	.	it's	a	disclaimer	unlikely	to	put	protestors	at	ease	,	for	to	read	it	,	one	actually	has	to	see	dogma	.	the	prerelease	ballyhoo	is	in	the	tradition	of	the	last	temptation	of	christ's	,	martin	scorsese's	1988	adaptation	of	nikos	kazantzakis'	controversial	novel	,	in	that	it	is	not	directly	linked	to	the	picture's	content	but	to	rumours	and	heresy	.	there's	a	famous	anecdote	about	fletch	director	michael	ritchie	inviting	picketers	of	the	last	temptation	of	christ	into	a	screening	on	his	dime	,	just	so	they	could	know	for	certain	what	they	were	rallying	against	.	(	not	one	of	them	had	watched	it	.	)	every	single	person	refused	.	smith	and	scorsese	have	a	lot	in	common	,	and	so	do	the	two	films	in	question	,	because	both	smith's	bethany	and	scorsese's	jesus	are	hollow	shells	without	their	faith	.	in	fact	,	dogma's	denouement	(	which	follows	a	thrilling	showdown	that's	worth	the	wait	)	is	a	catholic	love	in	,	a	veritable	recruitment	poster	.	(	i	felt	sentimental	about	a	religion	i	don't	belong	to	.	now	that's	powerful	filmmaking	.	)	smith	is	nothing	if	not	sincere	about	his	own	devotion	to	god	,	and	that	spirituality	shines	through	.	it's	enough	to	make	me	forgive	dogma	for	its	editorial	sins	.	my	religion	is	movies	.	when	the	catholic	league	beats	on	dogma	for	imaginary	crimes	against	a	doctrine	,	in	a	roundabout	way	they're	attacking	what	i	live	for	:	freedom	of	expression	through	celluloid	.	i	therefore	feel	that	,	although	i'm	no	bible	thumper	,	i'm	at	least	as	qualified	to	criticize	dogma	as	william	donohue	and	his	followers	.
pos	when	i	was	growing	up	in	1970s	,	boys	in	my	school	used	to	divide	into	two	groups	,	based	on	their	action	movies	preferences	.	the	first	one	,	myself	included	,	liked	movies	that	featured	spectacular	car	chases	,	lots	of	machinegun	fire	and	huge	explosions	.	the	latter	one	preferred	hong	kong	martial	arts	flicks	,	probably	because	they	could	(	or	,	to	be	more	precise	,	thought	they	could	)	imitate	its	stunts	in	the	real	life	.	decades	later	,	while	refining	my	own	cinematic	taste	,	i	began	to	appreciate	and	actually	like	those	movies	,	probably	because	of	overexposure	to	shoot	em	up	idiocy	of	1980s	ramboids	.	yes	,	most	of	the	kung	fu	and	other	"	martial	arts	"	flicks	were	cheap	,	they	had	predictable	and	formulaic	plot	,	and	asked	very	little	of	production	values	aside	from	martial	arts	skills	.	but	,	in	the	same	time	,	those	movies	had	their	own	rules	and	in	the	hands	of	capable	director	could	become	a	terrific	guilty	pleasure	and	source	of	relaxation	.	the	best	of	those	movies	,	one	that	passed	the	test	of	time	and	managed	to	keep	its	own	cult	status	after	quarter	of	century	was	enter	the	dragon	.	made	in	1973	in	a	joint	hong	kong	hollywood	venture	,	it	was	intended	to	bring	bruce	lee's	skills	and	kung	fu	philosophy	to	the	western	audience	.	it	succeeded	,	but	it	is	still	debatable	whether	by	its	own	merit	or	by	the	unfortunate	and	mysterious	death	of	bruce	lee	that	immortalised	the	myth	about	that	actor	.	lee	plays	a	quiet	shaolin	monk	who	is	a	martial	arts	expert	.	he	is	approached	by	interpol	official	who	asks	him	to	join	tri	annual	martial	arts	tournament	that	is	held	on	a	remote	island	,	owned	and	controlled	by	han	,	renegade	shaolin	monk	.	interpol	suspects	that	the	martial	arts	business	is	just	cover	for	narcotics	,	gun	running	and	prostitution	operations	and	lee	must	find	the	evidence	necessary	for	authorities	to	intervene	.	lee	accepts	the	mission	because	of	personal	reasons	o'harra	,	han's	brutal	bodyguard	was	responsible	for	the	tragic	death	of	lee's	sister	years	ago	.	the	island	is	also	destination	of	two	colourful	martial	arts	experts	from	us	williams	(	played	by	jim	kelly	)	is	black	activist	running	from	the	racist	police	,	and	his	friend	roper	wants	to	make	money	in	order	to	pay	gambling	debts	.	the	plot	of	enter	the	dragon	was	in	many	ways	influenced	by	james	bond	(	the	007	franchise	itself	would	return	favour	by	using	kung	fu	elements	in	the	man	with	the	golden	gun	two	years	later	)	.	the	main	hero	was	faced	against	a	power	hungry	megalomaniac	on	a	remote	island	,	alone	against	whole	army	of	bad	guys	.	on	the	other	hand	,	lee	was	more	believable	hero	than	bond	;	deprived	of	guns	and	super	tech	gadgets	,	he	had	to	rely	only	on	his	personal	skills	in	order	to	survive	.	in	the	same	time	,	the	plot	,	although	extremely	thin	,	allowed	him	even	some	internal	battles	between	the	natural	instinct	to	avenge	his	sister	and	his	own	anti	violent	philosophy	.	the	latter	provided	some	opportunities	to	evaluate	lee's	acting	skills	and	some	new	elements	to	his	impressive	screen	presence	.	although	two	other	main	actors	john	saxon	being	the	obligatory	good	white	guy	and	jim	kelly	being	the	obligatory	black	good	guy	were	intended	to	share	top	spot	with	lee	,	they	served	as	nothing	more	than	a	comic	relief	.	it	is	a	real	shame	to	see	kelly	,	definitely	the	worse	actor	than	saxon	,	to	steal	the	scenes	from	him	only	because	his	lines	,	being	the	worst	possible	blaxploitation	cliches	,	sound	so	damn	over	the	top	.	other	actors	,	not	including	shih	kien	who	turns	han	into	typical	,	although	not	very	convincing	bondian	villain	,	are	nothing	more	than	fist	fodder	for	bruce	lee	(	among	them	is	young	jackie	chan	)	.	fighting	scenes	are	still	impressive	today	as	they	were	25	years	ago	,	although	they	mostly	lack	gore	associated	with	that	genre	.	in	many	way	they	are	also	more	realistic	(	they	were	personally	staged	by	lee	himself	)	,	demanding	only	a	blow	or	two	to	incapacitate	or	kill	the	opponent	.	i'm	not	a	martial	arts	expert	nor	the	martial	arts	fan	,	but	comparing	those	scenes	with	typical	scenes	today	i	simply	can't	avoid	to	appreciate	the	difference	from	today's	movie	fights	when	masses	of	bloody	pulp	manage	to	get	up	from	the	floor	and	win	in	the	end	.	so	,	despite	all	the	obvious	flaws	that	preclude	this	movie	of	being	top	100	of	all	times	,	enter	the	dragon	is	a	incredibly	entertaining	piece	of	cinema	and	the	martial	arts	flick	that	can	be	enjoyed	even	by	those	who	don't	like	that	particular	genre	.
pos	"	oh	my	god	,	i	sounded	just	like	a	mother	!	"	mrs	.	pascal	,	played	with	devilish	wickedness	by	genevieve	bujold	,	tells	her	son	.	"	didn't	i	sound	just	like	a	mother	?	"	"	you	are	a	mother	,	"	her	son	marty	tells	her	disgustedly	.	"	i	know	,	but	i	still	can't	believe	it	.	i	look	at	you	people	and	wonder	,	how	did	you	ever	fit	in	my	womb	?	"	marty	,	you	see	,	is	a	grown	up	twin	.	although	his	sister	,	who	thinks	she	is	jackie	o	,	is	certifiably	insane	,	marty	fits	right	in	with	the	rest	of	this	highly	dysfunctional	family	in	the	witty	black	comedy	the	house	of	yes	.	mother	and	daughter	,	played	in	a	brilliant	performance	by	parker	posey	,	are	both	varying	degrees	of	wacko	.	most	dysfunctional	families	in	the	movies	are	more	angry	and	mean	spirited	than	diabolically	abnormal	as	this	one	is	.	the	daughter's	fantasy	of	being	jackie	o	is	probably	the	most	sane	part	of	her	being	.	mrs	.	pascal	is	the	sort	that	will	not	let	jackie	o	keep	a	hairbrush	downstairs	since	food	is	kept	on	that	level	.	she	explains	to	marty's	new	fiancee	,	lesly	(	tori	spelling	)	,	soon	after	their	first	meeting	that	jackie	o	was	holding	marty's	private	part	when	she	came	out	of	the	womb	.	the	dialog	by	wendy	macleod	,	based	on	the	play	by	mark	waters	,	is	so	sharp	and	biting	that	it	seems	in	danger	of	cutting	through	the	celluloid	at	any	moment	.	the	script	,	reminiscent	of	a	david	mamet	play	,	flows	smoothly	with	its	fast	paced	intelligence	and	mesmerizing	set	of	bizarre	characters	.	the	exaggerated	setup	has	lesly	and	marty	arriving	at	the	family's	out	of	the	way	mansion	during	a	thanksgiving	day	hurricane	.	in	this	storm	are	two	sane	individuals	.	the	fiancee	is	a	giddy	,	school	girl	type	,	embarrassed	by	everything	,	a	complete	contrast	to	her	rival	jackie	o's	bitter	pseudo	sophistication	.	as	the	two	twins'	younger	brother	,	anthony	,	freddie	prinze	jr	.	plays	the	all	america	boy	type	whose	only	foible	is	his	explicit	obsession	of	bedding	his	brother's	fiancee	that	night	.	"	we	all	have	our	secrets	,	"	jackie	o	tells	her	potential	sister	in	law	,	and	boy	,	does	she	have	a	few	.	this	is	a	house	filled	with	them	.	(	when	lesly	calls	it	the	family's	"	home	"	to	mrs	.	pascal	they've	never	had	a	visitor	before	lesly	mrs	.	pascal	becomes	discombobulated	until	she	realizes	that	lesly	is	talking	about	their	"	house	.	"	)	in	a	film	that	gives	new	meaning	to	the	phrase	,	"	made	for	each	other	,	"	the	twin's	biggest	,	but	not	their	only	secret	,	is	that	they've	had	a	long	term	incestuous	relationship	.	they	don't	like	to	discuss	it	,	although	they	are	not	particularly	ashamed	of	it	.	perfect	for	viewers	who	can	appreciate	perverse	comedy	,	this	story	never	pulls	its	punches	.	jackie	o	tries	in	many	ways	,	few	subtle	,	to	show	that	she	is	a	better	match	for	marty	than	that	ditzy	fiancee	of	his	.	in	one	scene	marty	and	lesly	are	playing	chop	sticks	together	on	the	piano	when	jackie	o	pushes	her	aside	and	starts	playing	a	challenging	classical	piece	for	four	hands	.	marty	joins	her	as	his	fiancee	looks	on	with	envy	.	the	chemistry	between	parker	posey	and	josh	hamilton	is	nothing	short	of	amazing	.	they	put	down	their	little	brother	and	most	of	the	other	sane	people	in	the	world	.	their	ripostes	are	engaging	filmmaking	at	its	best	.	director	mark	waters	keeps	the	show's	energy	level	high	and	lets	the	leads	sling	zingers	at	each	other	at	a	furious	pace	.	his	crisp	direction	ensures	the	movie	has	nary	an	ounce	of	fat	on	it	.	jackie	o	is	temperamentally	incapable	of	being	nice	.	and	being	jealous	,	she	cuts	lesly	down	mercilessly	.	"	were	you	poor	?	"	jackie	o	asks	her	when	she	finds	that	lesly	committed	the	crime	of	growing	up	impoverished	.	"	did	you	eat	pies	?	chicken	pot	pies	?	"	"	pancakes	actually	,	lots	of	pancakes	,	"	lesly	replies	with	her	usual	sincerity	.	"	a	donut	king	,	so	is	she	like	the	queen	?	,	"	jackie	o	cattily	inquires	of	marty	when	she	learns	that	lesly	works	at	a	donut	king	.	"	are	we	entertaining	royalty	?	"	with	rolfe	kent's	whimsically	sinister	music	it	never	seems	clear	where	the	story	is	headed	.	will	it	end	in	a	big	emotional	explosion	,	a	murder	,	people	slowly	cutting	each	other	up	with	words	,	a	familial	catharsis	,	a	weather	disaster	or	what	?	the	emotionally	charged	play	is	clearly	going	somewhere	,	and	the	engaging	characters	captivate	the	audience	with	their	spell	.	i'll	not	say	more	except	that	the	ending	is	perfect	and	a	bit	of	a	surprise	.	the	house	of	yes	runs	a	blazing	fast	1	:	25	.	it	is	rated	r	for	sexual	situations	and	conversations	,	mature	themes	,	violent	overtones	and	some	profanity	.	the	movie	would	be	fine	for	older	and	mature	teenagers	,	i	.	e	.	,	treat	the	movie	as	it	were	rated	nc	17	.
pos	krippendorf's	tribe	is	a	formula	comedy	.	done	poorly	,	formulaic	comedies	might	seem	to	signify	the	downfall	of	american	cinema	.	however	,	every	now	and	then	,	one	emerges	,	like	krippendorf's	tribe	,	that	actually	works	.	professor	james	krippendorf	(	richard	dreyfuss	)	,	the	renowned	anthropologist	,	is	in	trouble	.	his	university	gave	him	a	hefty	grant	to	discover	a	lost	tribe	in	new	guinea	.	however	,	he	found	.	.	.	nothing	.	his	wife	has	recently	died	,	and	he	has	spent	the	remainder	of	the	grant	money	in	raising	his	three	kids	:	shelly	(	natasha	lyonne	)	,	mickey	(	gregory	smith	)	and	edmund	(	carl	michael	lidner	)	.	tonight	,	he	is	expected	to	lecture	on	his	newfound	tribe	.	rather	than	break	the	news	(	and	face	the	consequences	of	misusing	his	funds	)	,	he	invents	a	tribe	:	the	shelmikedmu	(	named	after	his	kids	)	.	however	,	one	lie	begets	another	as	he	is	not	only	required	to	deliver	filmed	proof	of	the	shelmikedmu	,	but	his	research	becomes	a	popular	phenomenon	.	soon	,	professor	krippendorf	is	caught	up	in	an	elaborate	ruse	in	which	he	films	mockumentary	footage	starring	his	children	as	the	shelmikedmu	tribal	members	.	his	efforts	are	hampered	by	the	boasts	of	an	over	eager	colleague	,	veronica	micelli	(	jenna	elfman	)	,	and	the	intense	scrutiny	of	a	rival	anthropologist	,	ruth	allen	(	lily	tomlin	)	.	krippendorf's	tribe	does	seem	to	require	a	little	suspension	of	disbelief	.	no	one	seems	to	question	the	way	his	field	documentaries	seem	to	be	shot	with	multiple	cameras	,	or	that	his	newly	discovered	tribesmen	have	startlingly	blue	eyes	.	luckily	,	as	the	film	builds	momentum	,	that	suspension	of	disbelief	is	easy	to	come	by	.	though	there's	some	mild	humor	in	the	krippendorf	family	trying	to	pass	themselves	off	as	a	lost	tribe	,	the	real	humor	of	the	film	is	in	how	james	gets	trapped	in	his	ever	increasing	snowball	of	lies	.	the	double	meanings	to	many	of	the	shelmikedmu	appearances	are	enjoyable	,	and	the	comic	timing	required	for	some	of	the	film's	latter	scenes	is	superb	.	richard	dreyfuss	is	terrific	as	the	hapless	professor	who	soon	loses	control	of	his	own	imaginary	tribe	.	jenna	elfman's	position	as	a	romantic	lead	seems	a	bit	forced	at	times	,	but	she	plays	the	part	with	extreme	affability	.	even	the	kids	,	who	in	films	like	this	tend	to	be	a	bit	on	the	precocious	side	,	are	endearing	and	humorous	.	yes	,	the	film	does	veer	occasionally	into	some	rather	lowbrow	humor	,	but	it	has	the	best	excuse	of	all	:	it's	funny	.	it	may	not	go	down	as	an	all	time	classic	,	but	it	certainly	delivers	what	you	expect	from	a	comedy	:	plenty	of	laughs	.
pos	starring	tom	hanks	,	david	morse	,	michael	duncan	,	doug	hutchinson	,	james	cromwell	,	bonnie	hunt	,	patricia	clarkson	,	barry	pepper	,	michael	jeter	,	sam	rockwell	,	graham	greene	,	jeffrey	demunn	,	dabbs	greer	,	eve	brent	,	harry	dean	stanton	and	gary	sinise	.	it	is	simply	amazing	how	"	the	green	mile	"	developed	in	its	three	hour	running	time	.	based	on	the	stephen	king	series	of	the	same	title	,	the	film	starts	out	painfully	slow	,	with	underdeveloped	characters	and	idiotic	dialogue	.	however	,	as	the	plot	begins	to	progress	,	the	film	turns	into	pure	perfection	with	outstanding	performances	and	wonderful	direction	.	frank	darabont	,	who	masterfully	followed	a	prisoner's	story	in	"	the	shawshank	redemption	"	,	this	time	follows	the	perspective	of	a	prison	guard	,	paul	edgecomb	(	tom	hanks	)	.	through	edgecomb's	experiences	on	a	cell	block	known	as	the	green	mile	where	death	row	prisoners	wait	and	repent	,	the	audience	sees	good	and	evil	on	both	sides	of	the	law	.	from	an	evil	prison	guard	to	an	evil	prisoner	,	"	the	green	mile	"	is	successful	in	creating	sympathy	for	kind	hearted	hard	working	guards	and	hard	thinking	prisoners	.	the	plot	follows	edgecomb	and	four	other	guards	as	they	meet	a	variety	of	prisoners	and	after	having	strong	relationships	with	each	eventually	are	forced	to	execute	them	.	the	performances	by	veterans	and	new	comers	to	back	up	these	original	characters	are	superb	.	the	ensemble	acting	in	the	film	is	perfect	.	hanks	,	david	morse	and	barry	pepper	as	guards	are	wonderful	and	are	fitting	for	their	roles	.	they	are	the	characters	we	most	relate	to	because	of	their	calm	less	extreme	roles	.	they	are	given	the	positions	to	make	rational	decisions	at	difficult	times	and	they	are	the	ones	who	fulfill	the	demands	of	the	audience	.	the	more	unique	characters	perfectly	create	friction	on	the	green	mile	and	make	the	story	interesting	and	exciting	.	some	particularly	note	worthy	roles	of	the	unique	characters	include	doug	hutchinson	,	sam	rockwell	,	and	michael	duncan	.	hutchinson	,	playing	percy	wetmore	,	a	cowardly	guard	who	hides	his	true	feelings	by	tormenting	others	gives	the	greatest	performance	of	the	movie	.	every	time	he	appears	on	the	screen	,	the	attitude	of	others	is	very	uncomfortable	and	the	creepy	expressions	he	is	able	to	create	are	effectively	terrifying	.	it	would	come	as	no	surprise	if	hutchinson	was	nominated	for	an	academy	award	as	best	supporting	actor	,	not	only	because	he	did	a	wonderful	job	as	wetmore	,	but	also	because	he	stole	every	scene	he	was	in	away	from	veteran	oscar	winner	tom	hanks	.	rockwell	,	an	independent	film	veteran	,	plays	his	role	as	wild	bill	wharton	to	perfection	.	as	a	prisoner	who	taunts	and	harasses	the	guards	at	all	hours	,	he	really	gets	under	your	skin	and	irritates	you	for	having	to	watch	him	torture	others	.	this	irritation	he	creates	makes	his	performance	so	believable	.	the	last	noteworthy	performance	belongs	to	duncan	,	as	the	enormous	convicted	killer	john	coffey	who	happens	to	hold	the	power	of	curing	the	ill	.	duncan	does	a	wonderful	job	playing	a	frightened	child	like	behemoth	,	very	similar	to	lennie	small	in	of	mice	and	men	.	his	desire	for	love	and	the	extinction	of	hate	evokes	the	most	compassion	because	it	is	very	obvious	that	he	is	suffering	for	no	just	cause	.	his	pain	creates	pain	for	the	viewer	.	however	,	it	takes	over	an	hour	for	duncan	to	be	introduced	completely	in	the	film	.	the	film	opens	with	a	ridiculous	present	day	setting	which	contains	a	scene	that	jabs	at	"	the	jerry	springer	show	.	"	the	scene	,	containing	one	old	man	complaining	about	how	all	guests	on	the	show	are	inbred	and	rednecks	.	not	only	is	this	observation	entirely	pointless	and	out	of	place	,	but	it	is	also	hackneyed	beyond	all	belief	.	as	the	film	flashes	back	to	1935	,	graham	greene	is	quickly	executed	without	any	introduction	.	his	death	seems	very	rushed	and	without	any	knowledge	of	who	he	is	,	the	scene	is	neither	sad	nor	convincing	.	greene	is	not	even	given	a	final	word	,	like	some	of	the	other	characters	,	and	we	don't	even	see	him	walk	the	infamous	green	mile	.	however	,	as	the	film	begins	to	specifically	introduce	more	characters	,	such	as	coffey	and	eduard	delacroix	(	michael	jeter	)	as	well	as	the	five	prison	guards	,	the	film	becomes	more	interesting	.	the	speed	in	"	the	green	mile	"	is	perfect	.	if	time	was	a	matter	of	concern	and	the	film	was	edited	to	the	two	hour	mark	,	it	would	have	been	unsatisfactory	because	we	would	not	be	able	to	know	the	characters	as	they	are	or	as	they	treat	others	.	the	three	hour	running	is	perfect	for	plot	development	and	by	the	end	of	the	film	,	a	great	amount	of	love	or	hate	is	attached	to	each	character	.	"	the	green	mile	"	is	so	good	following	the	rough	beginning	,	that	when	the	pivotal	moment	at	the	very	end	finally	comes	,	it	is	almost	impossible	not	to	feel	some	sort	of	sadness	for	every	person	in	this	scene	.	fighting	back	tears	was	a	difficult	task	that	i	barely	succeeded	in	doing	.	if	you	survive	the	first	third	of	"	the	green	mile	"	sit	back	and	enjoy	the	remainder	for	some	priceless	entertainment	.
pos	tbwp	is	probably	the	single	most	profitable	film	ever	.	not	surprising	,	considering	its	tiny	us	100	,	000	budget	,	to	date	it	has	earned	in	excess	of	us	130	million	.	that's	a	shocking	100	times	profit	!	rumours	have	it	that	a	smart	internet	marketing'	ploy	was	so	successful	in	gaining	cult	like	fanatics	,	by	word	of	mouth	coupled	with	strings	of	excellent	reviews	,	the	film	just	exploded	in	the	box	office	,	raking	in	millions	on	its	opening	weekend	.	shot	in	16mm	and	video	(	i	suspect	.	)	,	the	film	chronicles	the	forays	of	3	students	who	go	in	search	for	the	legendary	blair	witch	.	audiences	are	put	in	the	first	person	perspective	in	the	entire	mis	adventure	,	often	wobbly	and	blurry	at	times	,	it	takes	a	bit	of	getting	used	to	in	the	beginning	.	this	is	supposed	to	be	the	material	they	discovered	in	the	woods	where	the	3	disappeared	;	edited	and	put	onto	the	screen	for	the	benefit	of	our	audiences	.	tbwp	is	simply	smart	.	filmed	to	look	as	if	it	was	really	a	stock	shoot	by	a	bunch	of	students	in	search	of	the	blair	witch	as	a	school	project	,	one	may	suspect	(	like	yours	truly	)	that	its	simply	a	lazy	but	smart	approach	to	film	making	.	simply	amazing	in	that	respect	,	i	must	say	.	talk	about	impact	,	oh	yes	,	tbwp	does	have	quite	a	bit	,	in	fact	most	audience	will	find	it	deeply	disturbing	.	i	did	,	especially	the	last	bit	but	i'm	not	revealing	more	.	you	have	to	see	it	for	yourself	.	i	can't	help	but	feel	a	tad	cheated	after	knowing	how	commercially	successful	this	film	has	become	.	could	it	be	that	finally	,	an	indie	film	has	unwittingly	found	a	formula	for	commercial	appeal	?	or	was	it	all	simply	a	ploy	by	the	big	players	right	from	the	beginning	?	well	,	i	guess	the	fact	stays	;	tbwp	is	highly	original	,	clever	and	will	most	definitely	leave	most	with	something	dreadful	to	talk	and	think	about	for	weeks	prior	to	watching	this	film	.	no	gore	,	no	special	effects	,	i	just	can't	get	over	how	terribly	smart	this	film	is	!
pos	alien	resurrection	(	r	)	(	out	of	)	1992's	alien3	marked	not	only	the	death	(	by	suicide	)	of	its	popular	protagonist	,	ellen	ripley	(	sigourney	weaver	)	,	but	,	in	many	ways	,	the	alien	franchise	itself	box	office	receipts	were	anemic	,	thanks	to	poor	audience	word	of	mouth	;	and	the	critics	who	rallied	around	the	first	two	installments	,	1979's	alien	and	1986's	aliens	,	savaged	david	fincher's	slog	of	a	sendoff	(	myself	included	)	.	hence	,	weaver	,	director	jean	pierre	jeunet	,	and	the	others	behind	alien	resurrection	faced	a	two	fold	challenge	not	only	somehow	resurrect	ripley	,	but	also	rescue	this	once	profitable	series	from	the	scrap	heap	.	despite	the	odds	,	they	have	succeeded	,	even	if	the	entertaining	new	installment	does	not	measure	up	to	the	excellent	first	two	.	writer	joss	whedon	devises	a	quick	,	easy	,	and	painless	answer	to	the	dead	ripley	problem	clone	her	,	which	is	what	shady	military	scientists	do	using	some	blood	left	behind	on	fiorina	161	,	the	prison	planet	of	the	third	film	.	that	done	,	the	_	real	_	challenge	presents	itself	what	do	with	her	.	alien	introduced	ripley	as	smart	and	resourceful	;	aliens	simultaneously	toughened	her	up	and	made	her	more	vulnerable	,	exploring	her	maternal	side	;	alien3	saw	her	undergoing	the	seven	stages	of	death	.	what	could	be	next	?	whedon	comes	up	with	a	clever	spin	:	since	the	original	ripley	died	while	impregnated	with	an	alien	queen	,	the	blood	used	for	the	clone	is	also	"	infected	"	with	alien	dna	.	so	the	new	ripley	is	,	indeed	,	new	a	human	alien	hybrid	blessed	with	heightened	instincts	and	strength	,	a	psychic	bond	with	the	deadly	species	,	and	a	more	predatory	attitude	.	unfortunately	,	that	is	where	alien	resurrection's	clever	streak	in	writing	stops	.	the	alien	series	is	known	for	having	stronger	stories	than	most	creature	features	.	but	the	story	in	resurrection	is	more	of	an	afterthought	.	the	movie	begins	with	a	plot	involving	some	military	types	attempting	to	train	aliens	to	do	their	bidding	,	but	once	the	creatures	break	free	,	it	is	once	again	ripley	and	a	ragtag	crew	(	this	time	a	bunch	of	interstellar	smugglers	,	including	tough	waif	call	,	played	by	a	game	winona	ryder	)	trying	to	exterminate	them	.	and	the	alien	ripley	scenario	is	ultimately	not	exploited	to	its	full	potential	;	i	would	have	liked	deeper	exploration	into	the	quandary	of	becoming	one	of	the	species	she	has	spent	her	entire	life	trying	to	destroy	.	while	the	settling	into	tried	and	true	formula	is	a	little	disconcerting	,	the	formula	is	tried	and	true	for	a	reason	,	and	jeunet	tackles	the	proceedings	with	giddy	abandon	.	the	alien	,	after	all	these	years	,	is	still	terrifying	,	and	a	new	breed	that	is	introduced	is	no	less	so	.	the	violence	is	appropriately	grisly	and	extreme	,	and	the	action	set	pieces	are	suspenseful	and	exciting	,	most	notably	an	extended	underwater	sequence	.	the	film	is	absolutely	mesmerizing	visually	,	thanks	to	the	solid	work	done	by	production	designer	nigel	phelps	and	cinematographer	darius	khondji	.	as	technically	adept	as	jeunet's	direction	is	,	perhaps	his	(	and	,	for	that	matter	,	whedon's	)	greatest	contribution	is	the	infusion	of	humor	into	this	notably	downbeat	and	serious	series	.	a	sense	of	humor	may	seem	to	go	against	everything	this	horror	show	stands	for	,	but	the	self	awareness	of	the	excess	just	adds	to	the	fun	.	no	,	alien	resurrection	is	not	the	great	film	that	ridley	scott's	alien	or	the	even	greater	film	that	james	cameron's	aliens	was	.	but	after	the	dauntingly	slow	gloom	and	doom	of	fincher's	alien3	,	jeunet's	resurrection	is	a	welcome	return	to	its	roots	as	a	wild	,	reckless	thrill	ride	.	that	is	what	made	the	alien	series	so	popular	in	the	first	place	,	and	that	is	what	will	keep	the	series	popular	in	any	future	installments	.
pos	by	phil	curtolo	mel	gibson	(	braveheart	)	gave	a	gripping	performance	as	the	father	of	a	young	kidnapped	boy	in	ron	howard's	ransom	.	gibson	plays	tom	mullen	,	a	wealthy	business	tycoon	whose	past	actions	are	coming	back	to	haunt	him	as	a	deranged	psychopath	,	played	by	gary	sinise	(	forrest	gump	)	,	and	his	band	of	low	life	thugs	kidnap	his	only	son	for	2	million	.	tom	and	his	wife	,	kate	,	played	by	rene	russo	(	tin	cup	)	were	instructed	not	to	inform	the	police	,	but	they	contacted	the	fbi	.	minutes	later	,	an	elite	team	of	agents	led	by	delroy	lindo	(	broken	arrow	)	are	in	tom's	house	and	wiring	every	phone	.	the	plot	sounds	average	,	just	like	most	other	kidnap	movies	that	you've	already	seen	,	and	it	was	nothing	more	than	that	.	that	is	until	about	half	way	through	the	movie	.	suddenly	,	tom	goes	to	the	fox	5	news	room	and	makes	a	live	broadcast	saying	,	"	this	is	your	ransom	.	but	this	is	as	close	as	you	will	ever	get	to	it	.	instead	,	i	am	offering	this	money	as	a	reward	on	your	head	,	dead	or	alive	.	"	at	this	point	,	the	plot	thickened	,	and	the	unusually	slow	start	of	the	film	turned	into	a	suspense	filled	action	film	with	great	stunts	.	the	last	half	of	the	film	is	very	well	done	.	another	thing	that	carries	this	film	are	the	superb	performances	by	gibson	and	sinise	,	as	they	collide	in	a	game	of	wits	over	their	cellular	phones	for	most	of	the	movie	.	owen	gleiberman	of	entertainment	weekly	commented	on	the	subject	:	"	it	makes	you	wonder	what	kidnappers	did	before	cell	phones	.	"	before	this	movie	,	sinise	played	mostly	"	good	guys	,	"	first	in	of	mice	men	,	then	in	forrest	gump	,	and	most	recently	,	in	apollo	13	.	but	he	was	surprisingly	devilish	and	cold	in	his	portrayal	of	a	cop	gone	bad	.	gibson	,	of	course	,	was	just	being	gibson	,	in	an	oscar	worthy	performance	.	although	most	of	the	scenes	were	quite	predictable	,	ransom	is	a	very	entertaining	and	suspenseful	film	.	grade	:	b	,	1	2	out	of
pos	directed	by	curtis	hanson	.	screenplay	by	steve	kloves	,	based	on	the	novel	by	michael	chabon	.	starring	michael	douglas	,	tobey	maguire	,	robert	downey	jr	.	running	time	:	114	minutes	.	rated	aa	.	reviewed	on	march	19th	,	2000	.	a	quiet	,	understated	character	piece	,	"	wonder	boys	"	is	the	sort	of	movie	which	,	when	recalled	afterward	,	seems	more	like	a	dream	than	something	actually	experienced	.	slow	moving	but	never	plodding	,	funny	and	original	without	being	absurd	,	it	is	a	pleasurable	journey	through	one	man's	personal	struggles	.	grady	tripp	(	michael	douglas	)	is	a	university	of	pittsburgh	english	professor	who	wrote	a	critically	acclaimed	novel	seven	years	ago	and	hasn't	published	anything	since	.	most	people	think	tripp	is	washed	up	,	but	the	truth	is	that	his	new	novel	just	isn't	finished	yet	;	it	is	now	two	thousand	single	spaced	pages	long	and	counting	.	tripp	,	whose	wife	has	just	left	him	,	is	having	an	affair	with	the	university	chancellor	,	sara	gaskell	(	frances	mcdormand	)	.	sara's	husband	walter	(	richard	thomas	)	is	the	head	of	the	english	department	and	hence	grady's	boss	.	tripp's	most	promising	student	is	james	leer	(	tobey	maguire	)	,	a	dour	and	eccentric	youth	held	in	disdain	by	most	of	his	classmates	.	the	lone	exception	is	hannah	green	(	katie	holmes	)	,	who	is	also	boarding	with	grady	and	is	clearly	interested	in	taking	their	relationship	beyond	the	academic	.	the	movie	takes	place	during	wordfest	,	a	weekend	long	writers'	convention	.	the	gaskells	host	a	party	to	kick	off	wordfest	,	during	which	sara	reveals	to	grady	that	she	is	pregnant	.	going	outside	for	a	draw	,	tripp	(	aptly	named	,	given	that	he	spends	most	of	the	movie	under	the	influence	of	drugs	,	both	prescription	and	otherwise	)	encounters	james	,	standing	in	the	backyard	with	a	gun	he	insists	is	just	a	fake	.	the	two	sneak	upstairs	to	have	a	look	at	walter's	collection	of	memorabilia	.	when	grady	is	attacked	by	the	gaskells'	dog	,	james	shoots	it	dead	.	at	a	loss	,	tripp	ends	up	lugging	the	canine	corpse	around	in	his	trunk	until	he	can	figure	out	what	to	do	about	it	.	all	this	is	just	set	up	for	a	sometimes	harrowing	,	always	amusing	odyssey	through	the	streets	of	pittsburgh	and	the	problems	which	plague	grady's	life	.	he	finds	himself	having	to	deal	not	just	with	the	end	of	his	marriage	and	the	complication	of	his	affair	,	not	just	with	the	dead	dog	and	a	stolen	piece	of	walter's	collection	,	not	just	with	editor	terry	crabtree	(	robert	downey	jr	)	whose	own	job	is	riding	on	the	publication	of	tripp's	new	novel	,	but	with	the	enigma	that	is	james	leer	.	james	isn't	just	a	writer	;	the	entirety	of	his	behavior	is	one	big	creative	process	(	at	one	point	,	intoxicated	,	he	begins	narrating	out	loud	)	and	it	is	impossible	to	take	anything	he	says	or	does	at	face	value	:	the	fake	gun	that	isn't	is	just	the	tip	of	the	iceberg	of	james'	fantasies	and	deceptions	.	"	wonder	boys	"	is	a	smart	movie	that	understands	its	characters	and	takes	the	time	to	develop	and	explore	them	fully	.	written	by	steve	kloves	from	the	novel	by	michael	chabon	,	it	is	populated	by	believable	individuals	who	make	believable	choices	,	not	ones	dictated	by	stereotypical	hollywood	expectations	.	for	example	,	both	terry	and	james	are	clearly	not	strictly	heterosexual	,	but	when	they	finally	do	end	up	in	bed	together	,	it	is	dealt	with	almost	offhandedly	.	the	event	is	just	a	natural	development	of	both	characters	,	and	the	script	does	not	grind	to	a	halt	to	exploit	it	.	nothing	in	"	wonder	boys	"	feels	staged	or	melodramatic	;	realism	seethes	from	its	characters	,	their	relationships	with	each	other	,	and	the	decisions	they	make	.	but	perhaps	this	is	all	to	be	expected	.	"	wonder	boys	"	is	a	movie	all	about	making	choices	and	the	consequences	of	avoiding	them	,	and	a	film	with	such	a	theme	lives	and	dies	on	the	conviction	of	its	characters	.	grady	has	spent	the	past	half	decade	evading	decisions	,	and	it	has	cost	him	his	marriage	.	here	,	then	,	is	the	story	of	how	he	comes	to	rise	above	his	personal	apathy	and	seize	control	of	his	life	.	nowhere	is	this	theme	of	making	choices	more	clearly	illustrated	than	with	grady's	epic	novel	.	even	hannah	,	grady's	potential	new	love	interest	,	finds	it	impossible	to	finish	,	but	not	because	it	is	poorly	written	.	on	the	other	hand	,	hannah	thinks	it	is	beautiful	,	but	she	tells	grady	,	"	you	didn't	make	any	choices	"	:	grady	has	not	found	the	will	to	leave	anything	out	of	the	text	,	and	as	a	result	it	has	ballooned	to	mammoth	proportions	.	the	manuscript's	final	fate	depicts	another	important	fact	about	decisions	:	that	sometimes	they're	made	for	you	,	not	by	you	.	the	movie's	dialogue	is	sparkling	throughout	,	and	there	are	plenty	of	laughs	,	many	of	them	derived	from	the	film's	frank	view	of	reality	.	surprisingly	for	a	movie	which	muses	on	so	deep	a	theme	,	"	wonder	boys	"	has	many	of	the	elements	of	a	screwball	comedy	,	complete	with	mistaken	identities	and	misplaced	valuables	.	but	the	screwball	elements	are	always	in	service	to	the	overall	plot	,	complementing	it	rather	than	fragmenting	the	film	.	as	a	result	,	"	wonder	boys	"	is	appealing	and	enjoyable	on	a	number	of	different	levels	.	the	acting	is	uniformly	excellent	.	douglas	finds	just	the	right	note	as	the	harried	grady	,	portraying	him	as	confused	and	aimless	without	making	him	seem	weak	.	maguire	,	always	a	quiet	,	reserved	actor	,	is	a	perfect	fit	as	james	he	is	quirky	,	inspired	and	fragile	,	all	at	the	same	time	.	amongst	the	supporting	cast	,	richard	knox	gives	a	hilarious	performance	as	a	man	who	claims	to	be	the	real	owner	of	grady's	battered	car	.	for	a	movie	about	choices	,	"	wonder	boys	"	makes	all	the	right	ones	.	it	is	smart	and	well	acted	,	and	the	top	notch	script	finds	a	good	balance	between	drama	and	comedy	.	although	its	sheer	placidness	may	work	against	it	in	such	a	crowded	box	office	,	it	should	not	be	overlooked	.	this	may	be	one	of	the	first	oscar	contenders	of	the	year	2000	.	copyright	2000	shannon	patrick	sullivan	.	archived	at	a	href	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	wonderboys	.	html	"	http	:	www	.	physics	.	mun	.	ca	sps	movies	wonderboys	.	html	a
pos	niagara	niagara	(	r	)	(	out	of	)	bob	gosse's	niagara	niagara	follows	a	blueprint	not	unlike	a	lot	of	young	lovers	on	the	road	movies	.	wild	marcy	(	robin	tunney	)	and	calm	seth	(	henry	thomas	)	meet	cute	,	literally	running	into	each	other	while	shoplifting	at	a	local	store	.	a	mere	couple	of	scenes	later	,	the	two	embark	on	a	journey	to	toronto	from	their	small	,	unnamed	american	town	in	pursuit	of	a	rare	doll	that	marcy	desperately	wants	.	along	the	way	,	true	love	inevitably	blossoms	.	what	sets	niagara	niagara	apart	,	though	,	is	that	marcy	is	afflicted	with	tourette's	syndrome	,	a	neurological	disorder	that	causes	sudden	muscle	and	vocal	tics	.	tunney	,	displaying	an	acting	range	not	hinted	at	in	the	teenage	witch	thriller	the	craft	,	delivers	an	astonishing	performance	that	won	her	the	best	actress	prize	at	last	year's	venice	film	festival	.	to	term	her	work	a	tour	de	force	is	not	to	imply	that	she	attacks	the	scenery	;	tunney's	effectiveness	lies	in	her	modulation	and	vulnerability	,	which	makes	her	depiction	of	marcy's	illness	which	often	causes	her	to	act	violently	that	much	more	convincing	and	tragic	.	she	and	the	nicely	subtle	thomas	develop	a	sweetly	innocent	and	beguilingly	off	kilter	chemistry	.	their	journey	hits	a	few	rough	spots	creatively	along	the	way	,	mostly	the	fault	of	writer	matthew	weiss	.	a	detour	involving	a	kindly	widower	(	michael	parks	)	who	takes	the	couple	in	brings	the	story	to	a	screeching	halt	,	and	the	key	character	of	a	trigger	happy	pharmacist	(	stephen	lang	)	is	highly	unbelievable	.	but	these	missteps	do	not	blunt	the	power	of	tunney's	bravura	turn	,	which	carries	niagara	niagara	to	a	level	of	poignance	it	would	not	have	otherwise	achieved	.	(	opens	march	20	)
pos	review	by	lars	lindahl	(	a	href	"	mailto	:	larsattacks	mail	.	com	"	larsattacks	mail	.	com	a	)	"	high	fidelity	"	(	2000	)	(	out	of	four	)	directed	by	stephen	frears	written	by	d	.	v	.	devincentis	,	steve	pink	,	john	cusack	,	and	scott	michael	rosenberg	starring	john	cusack	,	iben	hjejle	,	jack	black	,	todd	louiso	,	lisa	bonet	,	catherine	zeta	jones	,	lili	taylor	,	joan	cusack	,	natasha	gregson	wagner	,	and	tim	robbins	just	look	back	two	years	ago	at	the	coen	brothers'	comedic	gem	the	big	lebowski	,	change	the	actors	,	take	away	the	bowling	alley	,	add	a	record	store	,	and	you've	got	high	fidelity	(	or	maybe	the	other	way	around	since	nick	hornby's	novel	high	fidelity	came	first	)	.	either	way	,	it's	been	done	before	,	a	trio	of	losers	cracking	jokes	and	complaining	about	their	failed	romances	,	yet	it	remains	consistently	funny	.	why	is	this	?	maybe	because	you	know	your	life	is	much	better	than	this	,	you	know	these	guys	are	more	pathetic	than	you	are	,	and	you	know	its	ok	to	laugh	at	them	because	they're	fictional	.	director	stephen	frears	,	possibly	not	intentionally	,	has	created	a	movie	that	makes	you	feel	good	about	yourself	and	even	that	ostensibly	no	good	uncle	who	watches	television	twenty	four	hours	a	day	.	when	watching	high	fidelity	,	expect	to	laugh	at	someone	else's	pain	,	realize	what	you	are	laughing	at	,	and	then	laugh	again	.	i	laughed	at	dick	(	todd	louiso	)	,	the	shy	,	timorous	,	steve	buscemi	character	of	lebowski	,	who	seems	to	know	what	he	is	talking	about	but	either	can't	put	it	into	words	or	is	harshly	rejected	by	his	friends	.	i	laughed	at	the	john	goodman	character	barry	(	jack	black	)	,	an	exact	replica	of	the	comic	bookstore	owner	on	the	simpsons	,	pudgy	,	egotistic	,	and	obnoxious	at	the	same	time	.	and	i	laughed	at	rob	(	john	cusack	)	,	the	jeff	bridges	type	,	whom	the	story	revolves	around	.	rob	is	the	character	easiest	to	relate	to	,	but	he	is	nothing	like	you	at	all	.	he	uncontrollably	cheats	and	lies	,	then	is	unable	to	realize	why	he	can	not	hold	onto	a	woman	.	and	like	his	other	miserable	friends	,	pop	music	is	where	he	inevitably	goes	for	comfort	.	he	spends	the	afternoons	at	his	job	quizzing	his	coworkers	with	obscure	trivia	or	listening	to	new	music	and	either	deriding	it	or	praising	it	.	whatever	human	emotions	the	clash	,	aretha	franklin	,	and	bruce	springsteen	records	hold	,	rob	and	co	.	grasp	them	and	help	fill	voids	in	their	social	lives	.	rob	has	built	an	extensive	collection	in	his	record	store	as	well	as	his	home	and	he	organizes	them	depending	on	what	mood	he	is	in	.	during	this	confused	stage	of	his	life	in	which	the	movie	focuses	on	,	rob	is	trying	to	cope	with	numerous	rejections	over	the	years	by	visiting	past	girlfriends	and	eventually	asking	why	they	dumped	him	.	but	these	aren't	any	girlfriendsthese	girls	made	the	all	time	top	five	break	ups	in	the	history	of	rob	(	rob's	incessant	use	of	lists	show	how	pop	music	has	played	a	major	role	in	his	life	)	.	the	plot	in	three	words	is	:	women	and	music	.	the	approach	director	stephen	frears	takes	by	having	the	charismatic	rob	speak	directly	to	the	camera	is	very	effective	.	it	gives	high	fidelity	a	quickly	paced	,	informal	structure	,	adjectives	which	perfectly	parallel	rob's	own	lifestyle	.	it	also	helps	open	the	viewer's	eyes	as	to	how	annoying	barry	is	.	jack	black	steals	the	show	with	a	hilariously	realistic	performance	as	a	total	sleaze	ball	.	just	listening	to	him	speak	for	five	minutes	makes	the	audience	immediately	sympathetic	for	rob	,	who	must	work	with	him	every	day	of	the	week	.	what	frears	does	so	well	is	that	he	makes	us	feel	sorry	for	rob	while	laughing	at	his	misfortunes	.	john	cusack	plays	his	character	convincingly	but	it	is	the	strong	supporting	cast	,	consisting	of	big	stars	and	character	actors	,	that	really	defines	rob	.	now	instead	of	rob	just	talking	to	the	camera	,	after	he	explains	something	,	the	remaining	cast	members	physically	and	humorously	create	what	he	is	trying	to	say	.	the	only	problem	with	high	fidelity	is	that	it	doesn't	end	when	it	should	have	ended	.	instead	the	movie	goes	on	for	a	torturous	twenty	minutes	that	seem	a	lot	longer	than	that	.	also	bruce	springsteen	is	completely	wasted	in	a	brief	cameo	halfway	through	the	movie	.	high	fidelity	is	a	cheerful	,	old	fashioned	comedy	with	a	voluminous	soundtrack	and	as	many	laughs	.	i	just	hope	hollywood	keeps	creating	losers	on	the	big	screen	,	they	make	everyone	look	and	feel	great	.
pos	directed	by	irwin	winkler	.	cast	:	val	kilmer	,	mira	sorvino	,	kelly	mcgillis	,	nathan	lane	,	steven	weber	,	bruce	davison	.	1999	128	minutes	.	rated	pg	13	(	for	profanity	and	sexual	situations	)	.	reviewed	january	22	,	1999	.	like	the	wonderful	1990	drama	,	"	awakenings	,	"	starring	robin	williams	and	robert	de	niro	,	"	at	first	sight	,	"	directed	by	irwin	winkler	,	is	inspired	by	a	true	story	documented	by	physicfirst	sight	,	"	directed	by	irwin	winkler	,	is	inspired	by	a	true	story	documented	by	physician	oliver	sacks	.	since	"	awakenings	"	was	so	very	good	,	and	made	my	top	ten	list	the	year	it	was	released	,	"	at	first	sight	"	is	not	quite	as	strong	since	it	is	not	directed	with	as	sure	a	hand	as	penny	marshall	,	but	is	still	an	intelligent	and	vibrantly	acted	drama	.	the	film	begins	as	amy	(	mira	sorvino	)	,	a	stressed	out	new	york	architect	,	decides	to	take	some	time	off	and	travel	upstate	to	the	country	.	at	the	hotel	she	is	staying	at	,	she	makes	a	massage	appointment	and	after	a	long	,	soothing	session	which	ends	with	her	crying	as	a	release	of	emotions	,	she	strikes	up	a	conversation	with	the	handsome	masseur	virgil	(	val	kilmer	)	,	only	to	find	out	later	that	he	is	actually	blind	.	amy	doesn't	really	care	if	he	has	a	handicap	or	not	,	and	begins	to	spend	time	with	him	more	and	more	until	they	finally	start	to	fall	in	love	.	once	she	has	returned	to	new	york	,	amy	begins	to	research	on	virgil's	certain	type	of	retinal	blindness	,	which	he	has	had	since	three	years	of	age	,	and	out	of	a	stroke	of	luck	,	comes	into	contact	with	a	doctor	(	bruce	davison	)	who	believes	he	can	repair	virgil's	sight	,	even	though	there	have	only	been	thirty	similar	cases	in	history	.	at	first	reluctant	,	virgil	finally	travels	with	amy	to	nyc	and	agrees	to	the	surgery	,	much	to	the	hesitance	of	his	overbearing	,	but	loving	older	sister	(	kelly	mcgillis	)	.	ultimately	,	the	surgery	is	a	success	,	but	problems	arise	since	virgil	cannot	relate	to	what	he	sees	,	since	he	has	never	visually	seen	anything	before	,	only	touched	objects	.	he	moves	into	amy's	apartment	and	she	is	eager	to	stand	by	him	,	but	virgil's	maladjustment	begins	to	put	a	strain	on	their	relationship	.	on	the	basis	of	the	overall	story	,	"	at	first	sight	"	is	indeed	a	film	that	has	been	done	many	times	before	,	and	owes	a	great	deal	to	its	predecessor	,	"	awakenings	.	"	what	will	happen	throughout	the	film	can	also	be	easily	telegraphed	in	advance	.	however	,	what	helps	"	at	first	sight	"	rise	above	this	predictability	is	in	the	mature	and	intelligent	relationship	that	develops	between	virgil	and	amy	.	usually	,	romantic	pictures	are	of	the	shameless	puppy	dog	sort	(	the	recent	tom	hanks	meg	ryan	starrer	"	you've	got	mail	"	immediately	pops	to	mind	)	,	but	with	this	film	,	i	grew	to	care	more	about	the	characters	and	their	plight	.	the	film	starts	off	noticably	well	as	amy	travels	up	north	and	first	meets	virgil	.	the	massaging	sequences	were	strangely	erotic	,	maybe	even	more	so	than	the	later	actual	"	love	scenes	,	"	and	as	their	romantic	involvement	quickly	developed	,	the	film	was	both	entertaining	and	sweet	,	and	there	was	clearly	a	lot	of	chemistry	between	the	two	.	these	joyous	moments	early	on	balanced	out	well	with	the	later	scenes	in	which	their	relationship	is	seriously	tested	due	to	a	contrast	in	the	life	styles	that	they	have	always	known	,	with	virgil	completely	used	to	being	blind	and	having	a	comforting	,	peaceful	life	in	the	country	to	amy's	eventful	life	in	the	"	big	city	.	"	the	other	major	compliment	that	must	be	given	to	the	film	are	the	nearly	flawless	performances	across	the	board	.	val	kilmer	,	usually	cast	in	the	"	macho	"	type	of	role	,	was	always	believable	as	a	blind	person	,	and	playing	his	character	was	probably	a	little	more	tricky	than	it	appears	.	it	was	up	to	kilmer	to	not	come	off	as	someone	to	pity	,	but	to	sympathize	with	,	and	he	pulled	it	off	.	mira	sorvino	,	who	made	a	spectacular	debuting	splash	in	1995's	hilarious	woody	allen	comedy	,	"	mighty	aphrodite	,	"	for	which	she	won	a	well	deserved	oscar	as	a	kind	hearted	,	but	ditzy	hooker	,	is	a	standout	here	.	although	she	has	made	some	mediocre	film	choices	since	then	(	1997's	"	mimic	,	"	1998's	"	the	replacement	killers	"	)	,	she	always	has	managed	to	come	out	unscathed	,	and	it	is	with	"	at	first	sight	"	that	she	finally	has	another	juicy	role	to	play	.	in	a	truthful	climactic	scene	set	in	amy's	apartment	between	she	and	virgil	,	sorvino	proves	to	be	one	of	the	most	gifted	young	actresses	around	today	,	and	has	a	flare	for	both	comedic	and	dramatic	pieces	.	kelly	mcgillis	,	who	could	have	easily	come	off	as	the	"	bad	,	"	one	dimensional	sister	,	instead	is	also	given	an	unexpectedly	multifaceted	character	to	play	as	a	woman	who	may	be	overly	protective	but	simply	cares	for	her	brother	.	finally	,	nathan	lane	,	who	is	usually	a	little	too	over	the	top	,	is	appropriately	restrained	as	a	vision	therapist	.	the	one	misstep	of	"	at	first	sight	"	is	in	its	treatment	of	the	medical	procedure	done	on	virgil	.	very	little	is	ever	said	or	discussed	concerning	it	,	and	when	the	surgery	occurs	,	it	is	so	briefly	glimpsed	at	that	it	is	impossible	to	see	what	is	being	done	to	his	eyes	.	perhaps	the	reason	this	aspect	of	the	film	was	not	more	in	depth	was	that	the	makers	were	afraid	it	would	gross	out	audiences	,	but	i	would	personally	take	realism	,	even	if	it	is	graphic	,	any	day	over	simply	giving	the	explanation	of	the	surgery	the	cold	shoulder	.	in	"	awakenings	,	"	the	patients	and	illness	were	far	more	satisfyingly	portrayed	.	because	of	how	strong	the	screenplay	,	written	by	steve	levitt	,	is	in	the	way	it	deals	with	the	main	relationship	,	and	because	of	the	fabulous	performances	from	kilmer	and	sorvino	,	the	film's	few	problems	can	be	swept	over	to	the	side	.	the	adult	way	that	the	romance	is	depicted	by	director	irwin	winkler	is	,	no	doubt	,	in	respect	to	the	real	life	couple	that	the	film	was	inspired	by	,	who	are	still	together	after	many	years	(	even	though	the	setting	of	the	film	was	changed	to	new	york	)	.	since	january	is	usually	the	time	of	year	that	is	known	as	the	dumping	ground	from	bad	movies	,	"	at	first	sight	"	comes	as	a	refreshing	and	sophisticated	change	of	pace	.
pos	eddie	murphy	has	had	his	share	of	ups	and	downs	during	his	career	.	known	for	his	notorious	late	80's	slump	,	murphy	has	still	managed	to	bounce	back	with	a	handful	of	hits	in	the	past	few	years	.	with	the	exception	of	the	dreadful	holy	man	,	he	appears	to	be	on	pace	for	a	full	fledged	comeback	.	life	was	a	great	move	on	the	part	of	murphy	and	co	star	martin	lawrence	,	because	it's	a	great	showcase	for	both	actors	that	never	resorts	to	slap	sticky	drivel	.	director	ted	demme	is	smart	enough	to	realize	that	the	two	comedians	can	generate	enough	genuine	laughs	on	their	own	,	and	doesn't	insert	a	distracting	plot	to	back	them	up	.	life	is	,	in	a	sense	,	one	great	balancing	act	with	murphy	on	one	end	and	lawrence	on	the	other	.	amazingly	,	the	scale	never	tips	in	either's	favor	due	to	the	marvelous	chemistry	and	wonderful	contrast	that	each	actor	allows	the	other	.	as	the	movie	opens	,	we're	introduced	to	ray	gibson	(	eddie	murphy	)	,	a	two	timing	pickpocket	who	schmoozes	his	way	into	a	club	.	there	he	meets	a	successful	businessman	named	claude	banks	(	martin	lawrence	)	.	somehow	,	after	multiple	contrivances	,	the	mismatched	pair	find	themselves	on	their	way	to	mississippi	on	a	moonshine	run	.	when	all	is	said	and	done	,	ray	and	claude	have	been	framed	for	a	murder	that	was	actually	committed	by	the	town	sheriff	.	hence	the	setting	of	life	:	mississippi	state	prison	,	where	the	main	characters	come	to	realize	their	unlikely	friendship	is	important	,	and	become	set	on	finding	an	fool	proof	escape	plan	.	the	film	takes	us	from	the	30's	all	the	way	to	the	90's	,	presenting	a	difficult	task	in	showing	how	the	aging	process	affects	ray	and	claude	.	luckily	,	rick	baker	handles	the	makeup	effects	of	the	two	actors	in	a	fantastic	,	academy	award	caliber	manner	.	not	only	do	we	believe	the	characters	look	as	if	they're	90	years	old	,	but	they	sound	like	it	,	too	.	murphy	and	lawrence	are	completely	convincing	in	the	lead	roles	,	even	as	crotchety	old	cons	bickering	over	a	game	of	cards	.	this	is	just	one	of	the	pleasant	surprises	that	the	film	has	tucked	up	it's	sleeve	.	while	the	ads	are	marketing	life	as	a	straight	arrow	comedy	,	there	is	a	hefty	amount	of	dramatic	material	hidden	at	it's	core	.	but	the	comedic	aspects	work	wonderfully	,	wisely	drawing	strength	from	the	talents	of	the	two	stars	.	the	movie	is	more	of	a	comedy	than	it	is	a	drama	,	but	in	both	senses	,	it's	an	overwhelming	delight	.	i	could	say	a	few	bad	things	about	the	movie	,	but	i	don't	want	to	.	it's	such	a	nice	surprise	,	such	a	great	vehicle	for	eddie	murphy	and	martin	lawrence	,	that	it	warrants	a	huge	smile	as	the	credits	begin	to	roll	.
pos	one	of	the	last	entries	in	the	long	running	carry	on	series	,	carry	on	behind	is	very	similar	to	carry	on	camping	in	that	it	involves	a	group	of	holidaymakers	descending	on	a	'caravan'	site	.	professors	anna	vrooshka	(	elke	sommer	)	and	roland	crump	(	kenneth	williams	)	and	a	group	of	archaeology	students	stay	in	the	caravan	site	owned	by	major	leep	(	kenneth	connor	)	so	that	they	can	explore	the	nearby	roman	settlement	remains	.	anna	has	a	little	trouble	understanding	english	and	sometimes	people	get	the	wrong	end	of	the	stick	:	for	instance	,	when	anna	is	asking	for	'scrubbers	for	dirty	caravan'	,	she	means	that	she	wants	a	scrubbing	brush	to	clean	the	caravan	!	arthur	upmore	(	bernard	bresslaw	)	and	his	wife	linda	(	patsy	rowlands	)	take	her	mother	daphne	barnes	(	joan	sims	)	and	her	minah	bird	on	holiday	with	them	.	mother	in	law	jokes	prevail	.	furthermore	,	the	trouble	that	joe	and	norma	baxter	(	ian	lavender	and	adrienne	posta	)	have	with	their	large	irish	greyhound	allows	for	some	comical	moments	between	the	two	families	.	fred	ramsden	(	windsor	davies	)	and	ernie	bragg	(	jack	douglas	)	leave	their	wives	(	liz	fraser	and	patricia	franklin	)	behind	for	a	fishing	holiday	.	however	,	they	have	more	in	mind	than	fishing	when	they	catch	sight	of	two	young	girls	,	sandra	(	carol	hawkins	)	and	carol	(	sherrie	hewson	)	.	the	story	involves	the	disruption	caused	by	the	archaeological	professors	of	the	day	to	day	running	of	the	camp	,	the	search	for	the	minah	bid	and	greyhound	,	the	major	,	fred	and	ernie's	desperate	need	of	a	woman	,	a	misunderstanding	leading	to	a	striptease	at	the	caravan	park's	pub	,	and	a	shock	in	store	for	daphne	.	the	partnership	between	sommer	and	williams	is	very	effective	and	amusing	.	this	is	what	binds	the	movie	together	.	joan	sims	stands	out	as	the	demanding	mother	in	law	,	bernard	bresslaw	and	patsy	rowlands	work	well	together	as	husband	and	wife	,	and	carol	hawkins	and	sherrie	hewson	are	a	welcome	addition	to	the	cast	.	on	the	other	hand	,	there	are	low	key	performances	from	kenneth	connor	and	peter	butterworth	as	barnes	the	handyman	,	and	there	are	very	poor	performances	by	windsor	davies	and	jack	douglas	who	spend	far	too	much	time	on	the	screen	!	even	though	there	is	no	real	plot	to	speak	of	and	the	jokes	are	getting	bluer	due	to	the	new	scriptwriter	dave	freeman	,	there	are	enough	truly	comical	moments	and	bright	and	breezy	performances	to	lift	this	carry	on	above	many	of	its	predecessors	.	although	the	regular	cast	is	depleted	,	the	ones	that	remain	show	that	they	can	still	make	a	good	carry	on	film	.	a	relative	flop	at	the	cinema	,	this	movie	deserves	a	lot	more	recognition	.
pos	hype	?	sheesh	,	like	no	other	.	this	side	of	titanic	,	good	will	hunting	has	enjoyed	some	of	the	most	baffling	,	gushing	praise	of	the	year	.	does	either	film	deserve	it	?	not	really	.	let's	look	at	the	facts	:	you	have	matt	damon	as	will	hunting	apparently	the	smartest	man	on	the	face	of	the	earth	who	can	also	kick	anyone's	ass	over	breakfast	,	and	has	a	history	of	run	ins	with	the	law	.	oh	no	!	affleck	is	his	down	to	earth	best	bud	.	driver	,	the	hoity	toity	love	interest	.	williams	and	skarsgrd	as	hunting's	mentors	,	the	guys	that	rescue	him	from	a	prison	sentence	for	assaulting	a	police	officer	.	and	it	is	made	abundantly	clear	that	the	film	is	also	about	the	class	stuggle	in	boston	.	now	that	i've	typed	it	out	,	it	sounds	ridiculous	,	and	the	more	i	think	about	it	,	the	more	it	really	is	.	the	plot	and	theme	of	good	will	hunting	hinge	upon	the	idea	that	it's	tough	for	the	smartest	man	in	the	world	to	make	the	move	from	crumb	bum	to	respectable	member	of	society	.	why	?	because	(	a	)	"	just	because	he	has	a	gift	he	doesn't	have	to	use	it	!	"	and	(	b	)	he	had	a	troubled	childhood	.	well	,	boo	hoo	!	the	more	i	write	,	the	more	it	sounds	like	a	topic	on	"	jenny	jones	"	:	boy	geniuses	on	the	wrong	side	of	the	tracks	.	right	.	if	any	believable	character	had	this	guy's	abilities	,	this	movie	would	have	been	much	different	.	.	.	and	probably	much	shorter	,	too	.	i	realize	i'm	ranting	here	,	but	the	pop	psychology	of	hunting	reaches	such	a	high	level	of	annoyance	so	that	when	williams	tearfully	confronts	damon	with	the	film's	signature	line	of	i	kid	you	not	"	it's	not	your	fault	,	"	it	just	gets	silly	.	and	it	lost	me	.	the	script	,	written	by	damon	and	affleck	,	is	otherwise	humorous	and	keeps	you	entertained	.	van	sant's	direction	is	inexplicably	amateurish	and	features	some	lousy	voice	dubbing	.	williams	is	pretty	good	in	his	role	,	and	for	what	it's	worth	,	so	is	damon	,	even	though	the	character	is	ludicrous	.	all	told	,	the	film	has	plenty	of	enjoyable	moments	,	but	it's	just	not	the	deep	experience	the	filmmakers	want	you	to	believe	it	is	.	and	neither	was	titanic	.	that	ought	to	guarantee	me	plenty	of	hate	mail	for	the	next	few	weeks	.	fire	away	.
pos	for	those	of	us	who	weren't	yet	born	when	the	1960's	rock	'n'	rolled	around	,	monterey	pop	affords	an	affectionate	glimpse	of	the	music	that	influenced	our	parents	to	be	hippies	.	from	otis	redding	to	jimi	hendrix	,	janis	joplin	to	the	mamas	and	the	papas	,	and	jefferson	airplane	to	the	who	,	this	documentary	is	jam	packed	with	contagious	energy	.	but	i	give	fair	warning	that	i	will	reveal	the	ending	,	which	does	not	do	the	rest	of	the	film	the	justice	it	deserves	.	shot	in	1969	at	an	outdoor	concert	that	precluded	woodstock	,	the	film	defies	the	stereotype	of	the	general	population	at	the	time	.	sure	,	some	have	painted	their	faces	and	smoke	joints	,	but	d	.	a	.	pennebaker	(	the	war	room	,	moon	over	broadway	)	surprisingly	chooses	to	show	a	broad	spectrum	of	the	audience	.	no	matter	who	is	watching	,	it	all	comes	back	to	the	talented	musicians	that	stir	your	soul	.	the	excitement	starts	before	the	music	even	begins	.	a	young	girl	is	cleaning	thousands	of	seats	and	when	asked	why	by	an	interviewer	,	she	replies	that	she	feels	lucky	to	do	so	.	there	are	moments	of	organized	craziness	as	john	phillips	,	leader	of	the	mamas	and	the	papas	and	one	of	the	concert	organizers	,	tries	to	get	in	touch	with	dionne	warwick	.	and	when	one	band	is	tuning	up	,	a	member	remarks	,	"	finally	,	a	decent	sound	system	!	"	you	can	tell	just	by	watching	these	first	few	moments	that	this	show	isn't	about	vanity	,	it's	about	playing	the	music	you	love	to	those	who	have	an	appreciation	for	it	,	a	two	way	street	.	this	interaction	between	audience	and	performer	continues	throughout	the	film	and	becomes	infectious	to	the	audience	.	it's	impossible	to	tear	your	eyes	away	from	janis	joplin	as	she	belts	out	her	ballad	about	love	being	a	ball	and	chain	.	and	while	the	lyrics	to	"	wild	thing	"	may	not	be	all	that	complicated	,	watching	jimi	hendrix	mime	having	sex	with	his	guitar	is	as	captivating	as	otis	redding	singing	about	love	.	even	if	you	don't	recognize	every	band	you	see	on	stage	,	you	can	imagine	being	as	enthralled	by	their	work	as	the	public	sitting	in	those	seats	.	the	only	drawback	to	the	film	is	the	ending	,	which	unfortunately	i	must	reveal	.	all	the	other	bands	,	big	names	then	and	still	today	,	got	approximately	7	to	10	minutes	of	screen	time	.	in	contrast	,	the	last	band	on	camera	,	a	wholly	forgettable	one	,	gets	an	entire	18	minutes	of	screen	time	.	for	a	film	that's	only	78	minutes	long	,	that's	too	large	of	a	chunk	,	especially	when	previous	acts	are	much	more	stimulating	.	all	in	all	,	monterey	pop	is	a	precious	,	rare	look	at	a	time	period	that	still	holds	sway	over	us	.	the	variety	of	music	,	as	well	as	the	beautifully	shot	performances	,	are	easy	to	become	immersed	in	.	if	there	was	ever	any	question	as	to	why	most	of	these	bands	were	so	popular	,	this	is	quickly	dispelled	.	it's	almost	depressing	to	think	that	music	this	moving	doesn't	get	made	much	anymore	.	instead	we're	stuck	with	nsync	,	the	backstreet	boys	,	and	jennifer	lopez	,	all	of	whom	should	have	stuck	with	modeling	.
pos	what	starts	out	as	a	monotonous	talking	head	musical	history	lecture	turns	into	a	rich	land	of	louisiana	discovery	,	as	robert	mugge	adventures	into	the	various	landscapes	of	that	colorful	state	.	three	different	sections	of	louisiana	are	documented	along	the	journey	,	northern	,	southern	,	and	southwestern	louisiana	,	separated	by	maps	and	cutesy	subtitles	.	the	latter	two	are	the	best	installments	,	in	that	they	allow	the	charismatic	performers	direct	camera	time	without	the	interference	of	a	boring	onscreen	interviewer	.	each	county	has	a	different	character	,	style	,	instruments	,	and	sound	,	all	distinct	in	their	origins	,	as	local	experts	tell	us	,	and	mugge	respectfully	picks	up	these	discerning	traits	.	where	one	town	declares	that	race	isn't	an	issue	,	the	other	shows	how	racial	tensions	actually	aided	in	black	and	white	musicians	inspiring	one	another	.	southern	louisiana	has	a	strong	cajun	creole	base	,	while	northern	louisiana	leans	towards	guitar	and	a	cappella	singing	.	as	a	whole	,	this	documentary	is	well	layered	with	performance	and	testimony	but	could	easily	have	been	shorter	and	made	the	same	impact	on	an	audience	.	in	the	first	section	especially	,	numerous	concert	performances	run	superfluously	through	an	entire	song	,	with	the	camera	panning	to	and	fro	,	looking	for	something	to	do	.	every	person	put	in	front	of	the	camera	is	introduced	,	but	only	half	the	multitude	leave	much	of	a	mark	.	the	director	of	the	louisiana	folk	festival	expounds	on	the	glories	of	louisiana's	past	for	an	interminable	period	of	time	,	but	most	of	what	he	says	goes	in	what	ear	and	out	the	other	.	on	the	other	hand	,	there's	a	remarkably	short	section	devoted	to	a	28	year	disc	jockey	veteran	,	sister	pearlee	tolliver	.	she	spends	her	two	hours	on	the	radio	exclaiming	commercials	in	a	gospel	voice	,	with	a	couple	of	records	thrown	in	,	and	she	amuses	too	much	to	forget	.	as	standard	documentaries	go	,	the	expected	talking	heads	are	mixed	in	with	live	concert	performances	.	but	most	endearing	are	the	discussions	with	actual	performers	about	their	influences	and	playing	style	,	and	reminiscences	about	their	colleagues	.	these	interviews	,	juxtaposed	with	the	local	connoisseurs	,	provide	a	solid	foundation	for	the	musically	ignorant	and	die	hard	fan	.	one	of	the	best	portraits	is	that	of	kermit	ruffins	,	a	local	favorite	in	southwestern	louisiana	.	he	takes	the	historical	roots	of	jazz	and	blues	and	mixes	them	with	his	own	modern	experiences	growing	up	in	the	streets	.	popularity	hasn't	blown	his	ego	either	,	as	once	in	a	while	he	barbeques	for	his	audience	out	of	the	back	of	his	truck	.	other	details	compliment	this	musical	voyage	.	the	first	record	store	in	louisiana	,	floyd's	,	is	renowned	for	shipping	impossible	to	find	music	all	over	the	world	.	the	original	owner	still	runs	it	and	helps	to	promote	new	talent	such	as	rosie	ledet	.	rosie	was	a	housewife	who	taught	herself	how	to	play	the	accordion	and	she	now	sings	and	tours	with	her	husband's	band	.	at	once	mousy	and	humble	,	this	lady	has	gone	on	to	break	ground	for	female	artists	in	the	zydeco	field	.	before	walking	into	to	this	film	,	one	might	think	that	all	of	louisiana	could	be	clumped	into	a	simple	stereotype	.	it	takes	a	while	to	be	interested	in	the	material	,	but	once	the	filmmaker	moves	onto	southern	louisiana	,	it's	hard	to	look	away	from	the	screen	.
pos	jackie	brown	(	miramax	1997	)	starring	pam	grier	,	samuel	l	.	jackson	,	robert	forster	,	bridget	fonda	,	michael	keaton	,	robert	de	niro	,	michael	bowen	,	chris	tucker	screenplay	by	quentin	tarantino	,	based	on	the	novel	rum	punch	by	elmore	leonard	produced	by	lawrence	bender	directed	by	quentin	tarantino	running	time	:	155	minutes	note	:	some	may	consider	portions	of	the	following	text	to	be	spoilers	.	be	forewarned	.	during	the	three	years	since	the	release	of	the	groundbreaking	success	pulp	fiction	,	the	cinematic	output	from	its	creator	,	quentin	tarantino	,	has	been	surprisingly	low	.	oh	,	he's	been	busy	doing	the	talk	show	circuit	,	taking	small	roles	in	various	films	,	overseeing	the	production	of	his	screenplay	from	dusk	till	dawn	,	making	cameo	appearances	on	television	shows	,	providing	a	vignette	for	the	ill	fated	anthology	four	rooms	everything	,	it	seems	,	except	direct	another	feature	length	film	.	it's	been	the	long	intermission	between	projects	as	well	as	the	dizzying	peak	which	pulp	fiction	reached	which	has	made	mr	.	tarantino's	new	feature	film	,	jackie	brown	,	one	of	the	most	anticipated	films	of	the	year	,	and	his	third	feature	film	cements	his	reputation	as	the	single	most	important	new	american	filmmaker	to	emerge	from	the	1990s	.	things	aren't	going	well	for	jackie	brown	(	pam	grier	)	.	she's	44	years	old	,	stuck	at	a	dead	end	job	(	"	16	,	000	a	year	,	plus	retirement	benefits	that	aren't	worth	a	damn	"	)	as	a	flight	attendant	for	the	worst	airline	in	north	america	and	she's	just	been	caught	at	the	airport	by	atf	agent	ray	nicolette	(	portrayed	with	terrific	childlike	enthusiasm	by	michael	keaton	)	and	police	officer	mark	dargus	(	michael	bowen	)	smuggling	50	000	from	mexico	for	gun	runner	ordell	robbie	(	samuel	l	.	jackson	)	,	who	has	her	bailed	out	by	unassuming	bail	bondsman	max	cherry	(	robert	forster	)	.	the	loquacious	ordell	,	based	out	of	a	hermosa	beach	house	where	his	horny	,	bong	hitting	surfer	girl	melanie	(	bridget	fonda	)	and	agreeable	crony	louis	gara	(	robert	de	niro	)	hang	out	,	operates	under	the	policy	that	the	best	rat	is	a	dead	rat	,	and	he's	soon	out	to	silence	jackie	brown	.	meanwhile	,	the	authorities'	target	is	ordell	,	and	they	want	jackie	to	help	them	by	arranging	a	sting	to	the	tune	of	a	half	million	dollars	.	only	through	a	series	of	clever	twists	,	turns	,	and	double	crosses	will	jackie	be	able	to	gain	the	upper	hand	on	both	of	her	nemeses	.	although	jackie	brown	marks	mr	.	tarantino's	first	produced	screenplay	adaptation	(	based	on	the	elmore	leonard	novel	"	rum	punch	"	)	,	there's	no	mistaking	his	distinctive	fingerprints	all	over	this	film	.	while	he's	adhered	closely	to	the	source	material	in	a	narrative	sense	,	the	setting	has	been	relocated	to	los	angeles	and	the	lead	character's	now	black	.	in	terms	of	ambiance	,	the	film	harkens	back	to	the	1970s	,	from	the	wall	to	wall	funk	and	soul	music	drowning	the	soundtrack	to	the	nondescript	look	of	the	sets	even	the	opening	title	credit	sequence	has	the	echo	of	vintage	1970s	productions	.	the	opening	sequence	featuring	ms	.	grier	wordlessly	striding	through	the	lax	,	funky	music	blaring	away	on	the	speakers	,	is	emblematic	of	films	of	that	era	.	the	timeframe	for	the	film	is	in	fact	1995	,	but	the	atmosphere	of	jackie	brown	is	decidedly	retro	.	of	course	,	nothing	in	the	film	screams	1970s	more	than	the	casting	of	pam	grier	and	robert	forster	as	the	two	leads	,	and	although	the	caper	intrigue	is	fun	to	watch	as	the	plot	twists	,	backstabbing	,	and	deceptions	deliciously	unfold	,	the	strength	of	jackie	brown	is	the	quiet	,	understated	relationship	developed	between	jackie	and	max	;	when	they	kiss	,	it's	perhaps	the	most	tender	scene	of	the	year	.	tenderness	?	in	a	quentin	tarantino	film	?	sure	,	there've	been	moments	of	sweetness	in	his	prior	films	the	affectionate	exchanges	between	the	bruce	willis	and	maria	de	madeiros	characters	in	pulp	fiction	and	the	unflagging	dedication	shared	by	the	characters	of	tim	roth	and	amanda	plummer	,	or	even	in	reservoir	dogs	,	where	a	deep	,	unspoken	bond	develops	between	the	harvey	keitel	and	tim	roth	characters	but	for	the	most	part	,	mr	.	tarantino's	films	are	typified	by	manic	energy	,	unexpected	outbursts	of	violence	,	and	clever	,	often	wordy	,	banter	.	these	staples	of	his	work	are	all	present	in	jackie	brown	,	but	what's	new	here	is	a	different	facet	of	his	storytelling	a	willingness	to	imbue	the	film	with	a	poignant	emotional	undercurrent	,	and	a	patience	to	draw	out	several	scenes	with	great	deliberation	.	this	effective	demonstration	of	range	prohibits	the	pigeonholing	of	mr	.	tarantino	as	simply	a	helmer	of	slick	,	hip	crime	dramas	with	fast	talking	lowlifes	,	and	heralds	him	as	a	bonafide	multifaceted	talent	;	he's	the	real	deal	.	this	new	aspect	of	mr	.	tarantino's	storytelling	is	probably	best	embodied	in	a	single	character	that	of	the	world	weary	,	sensitive	,	and	exceedingly	professional	max	cherry	,	whose	unspoken	attraction	to	jackie	is	touching	.	mr	.	forster's	nuanced	,	understated	performance	is	the	best	in	the	film	;	he	creates	an	amiable	character	of	such	poignancy	that	when	he	gazes	at	jackie	,	we	smile	along	with	him	.	much	press	has	been	given	about	the	casting	of	blaxploitation	era	icon	pam	grier	in	the	lead	,	with	the	wags	buzzing	that	mr	.	tarantino	may	do	for	her	what	his	pulp	fiction	did	to	bolster	john	travolta's	then	sagging	career	.	as	it	turns	out	,	ms	.	grier	is	solid	in	the	film's	title	role	,	although	nothing	here	forces	her	to	test	her	range	.	i	do	have	to	take	exception	to	the	claim	that	this	film	marks	her	career	resurrection	,	though	she's	been	working	steadily	over	the	years	,	often	in	direct	to	video	action	flicks	,	but	also	in	such	recent	theatrical	releases	as	tim	burton's	mars	attacks	!	and	larry	cohen's	original	gangstas	(	where	she	first	teamed	up	with	mr	.	forster	.	)	of	course	,	it's	true	that	her	role	here	was	a	godsend	a	meaty	a	part	as	this	is	rarity	for	any	actress	,	let	alone	one	of	her	age	and	current	status	in	the	industry	.	while	jackie	brown	may	disappoint	those	looking	for	another	pulp	fiction	clone	,	it	marks	tremendous	growth	of	mr	.	tarantino	as	a	director	whose	horizons	are	rapidly	expanding	,	and	whose	characterizations	have	never	been	better	.	and	while	the	film's	narrative	doesn't	really	warrant	a	running	time	of	155	minutes	,	it's	filled	with	such	sumptuous	riches	,	ranging	from	the	brashness	of	the	vivid	soundtrack	to	entertaining	,	inconsequential	conversations	between	the	characters	,	that	there	wasn't	an	unengaging	moment	.	with	an	impressive	trio	of	feature	films	under	his	belt	,	it'll	be	interesting	to	see	what	he	tries	next	.
